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font-weight:bold; + font-style: normal; } + .x-ebookmaker p.dropcap:first-letter { float: left; } + .strong {font-style: normal; font-weight: bold; } + </style> + </head> + <body> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75943 ***</div> + +<div class='tnotes covernote'> + +<p class='c000'><strong>Transcriber’s Note:</strong></p> + +<p class='c000'>New original cover art included with this eBook is granted to the public domain.</p> + +</div> + +<div class='chapter ph1'> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c001'> + <div>MELINCOURT</div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> + +<div class='figcenter id001'> +<img src='images/i_ii.jpg' alt='[Logo]' class='ig001'> +</div> + +<div id='Frontispiece' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_frontispiece.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Sir Oran Haut-ton.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<div class='titlepage'> + +<div> + <h1 class='c002'>MELINCOURT<br> <span class='small'>OR</span><br> <span class='xlarge'>SIR ORAN HAUT-TON</span></h1> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div>BY</div> + <div class='c004'><span class='large'>THOMAS LOVE PEACOCK</span></div> + <div class='c003'>ILLUSTRATED BY F. H. TOWNSEND</div> + <div class='c004'>WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY GEORGE SAINTSBURY</div> + <div class='c003'><span class='blackletter'>London</span></div> + <div class='c004'>MACMILLAN AND CO., <span class='sc'>Ltd.</span></div> + <div class='c004'>NEW YORK: MACMILLAN & CO.</div> + <div class='c004'>1896</div> + <div class='c004'><span class='small'><em>All rights reserved</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_vii'>vii</span> + <h2 class='c005'>INTRODUCTION</h2> +</div> +<p class='c006'><cite>Melincourt</cite> is usually considered the least interesting of +Peacock’s novels; and in the strictly comparative sense—that +is to say that it is the least interesting of a group, every +one of which has peculiar and exceptional interest—the +statement is no doubt true. The defects of the book are +very obvious, and exceedingly easy to account for. <cite>Headlong +Hall</cite> had been very popular; and it was only in the +course of nature that the author should repeat his successful +experiment. But <cite>Headlong Hall</cite> had been by no means +free from faults; and it certainly was not out of the course +of nature that they should reappear in the new venture. +In the very noteworthy introduction which the author wrote +nearly forty years later, and which contains the promise of +<cite>Gryll Grange</cite> as supplement to complete the satire, it is not +unimportant to observe that he pays no attention to anything +but the satirical purport. A man of seventy, satiated +with business and not specially hungering after popularity, +was not perhaps very likely to discuss his own novels in +detail, even to the extent to which Scott and other persons +of irreproachable taste have discussed theirs in separate or +collected editions. But it is not extravagant to take his +silence as a kind of indication of his point of view.</p> + +<p class='c007'>His practice, however, if not his expressed theory, testifies +to a consciousness that he had made a mistake in the scale +<span class='pageno' id='Page_viii'>viii</span>of this novel. <cite>Nightmare Abbey</cite>, the next, is only just a +third of its length: no two of the next three, even if added +together, come up to it; and though <cite>Gryll Grange</cite> is not so +very much shorter, <cite>Gryll Grange</cite> contains the accumulated +irony of a lifetime, and is not open to any of the objections +to which <cite>Melincourt</cite> is exposed.</p> + +<p class='c007'>These objections, put briefly, come to this, that the +author has not yet acquired the knack of telling a story, and +that he has not discarded the habit of inapposite dissertation. +There is truth in this summary, sharp and blunt at once as +it is, and there is probably no reader who will not sometimes +put up a prayer for the excision, extinction, expulsion, and +general extermination of Mr. Fax. But political economy +had always been a favourite subject of Peacock’s French +masters; it had acquired, through Malthus (of whom Mr. +Fax has sometimes been thought to be a Peacockian +portrait), considerable vogue in England; and we have seen +it reappear in our own time as a loading or padding to +novels. Mr. Forester’s anti-saccharine fervour was a real +thing for many years after <cite>Melincourt</cite> was published—though +I have never heard whether the amiable anti-saccharists or +their descendants have founded any association to weep for +the ruin of the West India planters first, and the West +India Islands afterwards.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Two other kinds of purpose appear in the novel, both +of them distinctly political. In <cite>Headlong Hall</cite> the attack +on the <cite>Quarterly Review</cite> had been tolerably obvious, but it +had kept, if not entirely, yet mainly free of personalities. +The scenes at Cimmerian Lodge and Mainchance Villa, +with Mr. Feathernest’s sojourn at Melincourt, substitute +for this impersonality a directness of personal lampoon as +to the taste of which there cannot be very much question, +while as to the justice and accuracy of it there cannot be, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_ix'>ix</span>and among rational people of both sides never has been, +any but one opinion. Mr. Vamp (Gifford), Mr. Anyside +Antijack (Canning), and Mr. Killthedead (believed to be +Barrow, Secretary to the Admiralty, and a well-known writer +on naval subjects), were perhaps fair game, for the two last +were public men—in other words, public targets—and Gifford +had only himself to blame if, after playing all his life at the +roughest and most vicious of bowls, he got some rubbers. +But the animus, the injustice, and, above all, the ludicrous +inaccuracy of the attacks on Coleridge (Mr. Mystic), Southey +(Mr. Feathernest), and Wordsworth (Mr. Paperstamp), are +still almost inconceivable. That there was a certain superficial +justification for accusing them all, especially Coleridge +and Southey, of rather remarkable changes of opinion, that +Coleridge was apt to be a little transcendental, and so forth, +may be granted. But the attempt to carry the satire on to +their moral and personal conduct is not only unjustifiable in +itself, but displays a quite ludicrous ignorance and recklessness. +Coleridge, heaven knows, was open enough to satire; +and if Peacock had known anything whatever about him, +he might have made a rather terrible exposure. But ‘Mr. +Mystic,’ with his elaborate establishment at Cimmerian +Lodge, is so unlike the fugitive philosopher who seldom +had where to lay his head except in other men’s houses, +that even amusement is difficult. And when we remember +the style of living in which Wordsworth, even at his +wealthiest, indulged, and his tastes in all matters of art, +coarse and fine, the extensive dinner-party at Mainchance +Villa and its ‘mighty claret-shed’ become a very poor +jest. The ‘sooth bourd’ may be ‘nae bourd,’ but the bourd +which is altogether and glaringly opposite to the truth is a +good deal worse. Most inexcusable of the three attacks, +however, is that on Southey, which, I am sorry to say, is +<span class='pageno' id='Page_x'>x</span>renewed (as it were, <em>sotto voce</em>) by the allusions to ‘Mr. +Sackbut’ in <cite>Nightmare Abbey</cite>. That Southey gave some +provocation to the irregulars of the Whig party by his +slightly pharisaic airs of virtue, and some handle not merely +by his curious political history, but by his more voluminous +than impeccable poetical work, is undeniable. But to +represent him as a rascal, though it might be worthy of +Byron, was not worthy of Peacock; and to represent him +as selling his soul for the pittance of the laureateship was +unpardonable. Southey, as Shelley himself and many +others of Peacock’s friends could have told the author of +<cite>Melincourt</cite>, ‘feathered his nest’ with nothing but books, +worked like a navvy (only that the navvy works in bursts +and Southey worked unceasingly), at the least paying kinds +of literature, in order to procure that lining, and lived, +though not sordidly, with the utmost simplicity. It would +perhaps be less difficult to forgive this unfairness if the +result were more amusing, but as it is Peacock is condemned +by the laws of art no less than by those of ethics.</p> + +<p class='c007'>He was quite infinitely more fortunate in his other +political foray—the satire on rotten boroughs in the history +of the Onevote election. The rotten-borough system may +have had its advantages, but nobody ever denied that it +lent itself admirably to satire; and I am rather inclined to +fix on this as the first complete example of Peacock’s method +of sarcastic exposure. Indeed, ‘Mr. Sarcastic’ himself, +unless my imagination deceives me, comes nearer to Peacock’s +own character than almost any other of his personages. +And the whole thing, in a bravura style, is capital. +It is indeed sad to notice that the constant legislative +curtailments of the picturesque and pleasing in politics have +quite recently done away with the last shred of actuality in +the Onevote episode. For it was recorded, during the first +<span class='pageno' id='Page_xi'>xi</span>Parish Council elections recently, that an actual Mr. +Christopher Corporate was practically disfranchised, because, +though he proposed his candidate, and might have voted +for him, he was not allowed as a seconder, and no other +existed.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The not sarcastic or not purely sarcastic scenes and +personages of the novel have considerable merit, which +would be more easily perceptible if they were not kept apart +from each other by so much of the Fax-and-Forester business. +Anthelia has excited interest and admiration as a +reminiscence of Peacock’s first love, and a first draft of the +more perfectly conceived Susannah Touchandgo in <cite>Crotchet +Castle</cite>. They both exhibit—with some modern touches, +chiefly in the latter of the pair—the sentimental but intelligent +heroine of the last century. Mrs. Pinmoney and her +daughter are slight, but good, and the former’s list of tastes +is a capital passage, while Sir Telegraph Paxarett is an +excellent personage, showing something of Thackeray’s +partiality for making a young man of fashion not quite a +coxcomb, such as the older novelists had been prone to +draw him. Mr. Derrydown, who is a sort of first sketch of +Mr. Chainmail in <cite>Crotchet Castle</cite>, is a very intelligent +mediaevalist; and the ‘supers,’ Mr. O’Scarum and the rest, +play their parts very well.</p> + +<p class='c007'>These compliments, however, will hardly extend to the +hero or the villains, though they apply with redoubled force +to Sir Oran Haut-ton. The quadrumanous baronet, indeed, +is such an excellent fellow, that one almost wishes he could +have been discovered to be no Orang at all, but a baby lost +early in the woods, could have recovered his speech, improved +his good looks, and married Anthelia. For his patron, +friend, rival, and almost namesake, Sylvan Forester, is a +terrible prig and bore. It is difficult to believe that Peacock +<span class='pageno' id='Page_xii'>xii</span>can have sympathised with him, and impossible not to +think that he simply followed the old theory of the good +young hero, as he did other old theories in the elopement +and recovery. But Mr. Forester is not much worse than +the villains. Grovelgrub indeed, though he is much worse +than Portpipe (who is not detestable), and is the sequel to +Gaster in Peacock’s curious warfare against the clergy, has +a touch of wit now and then. But Lord Anophel Achthar +(how with that title he came to be heir-apparent to a marquis +Peacock does not explain) is an exceeding poor creature, +not much more valorous than Bob Acres, without any of +Bob’s redeeming fun, and as dull a dog as need or need +not be.</p> + +<p class='c007'>One very curious feature in the book is the chess dance, +which has been sometimes carried out since in reality. It is +one of not the least interesting points in Peacock’s rather +enigmatic character that he seems to have had a liking for +pageants and shows, whether in themselves, or (in this +particular instance) because of the example in his beloved +Rabelais, or as fashions of old time—for there never was +such a lover of old time as this Liberal free-lance. His +grand-daughter tells us that he used to hold Lady-of-the-May +revels in his old age for the children at Halliford, and the +Aristophanic play in <cite>Gryll Grange</cite> partakes at least as much +of this fancy as of the direct liking for theatrical performance +proper which Peacock had, and which made him for some +years a regular theatrical and operatic critic.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The songs of <cite>Melincourt</cite> are, considering its length, not +numerous, and only one of them is, for Peacock, of the first +class. Anthelia’s first ballad, “The Tomb of Love,” is not +very much above the strains of the unhappy Della Crusca and +his mates, whose bodies in her time still, to speak figuratively, +lay scattered on the critic mountains cold, where +<span class='pageno' id='Page_xiii'>xiii</span>they had been left by Gifford’s tomahawk. Nor is her +second, “The Flower of Love,” much better. The terzetto, +which immediately follows this, is not very strong, though +“Hark o’er the Silent Waters Stealing” is tolerable, and +“The Morning of Love” is very fair imitation-Moore, and +the Antijacobin quintet very fair Hook. Of the two +remaining serious pieces “The Sun-Dial” is much better +than “The Magic Bark.” But the credit of the verse of +this novel must rest upon “The Ghosts.” It faces a page +in which Southey is represented as saying of himself, +“I knocked myself down to the highest bidder,” and interrupts +a discussion which, putting aside this childish +injustice, Mr. Hippy most properly describes as “dry,” so +that it must have been a considerable relief at the time. +The disputants, it is true, relapse; but probably few attended +to them originally, and now, through most of the rest +of the novel, the reader catches himself humming at intervals,</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Let the Ocean be Port, and we’ll think it good sport</div> + <div class='line in16'>To be laid in that Red Sea!</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-r'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><span class='sc'>George Saintsbury.</span></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_xv'>xv</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CONTENTS</h2> +</div> + +<table class='table0'> + <tr> + <th class='c009'></th> + <th class='c010'>PAGE</th> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Preface to the Edition published in 1856</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_1'>1</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER I</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Anthelia</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_5'>5</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER II</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Fashionable Arrivals</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_14'>14</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER III</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Hypocon House</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_22'>22</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER IV</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Redrose Abbey</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_29'>29</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER V</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Sugar</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_38'>38</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER VI</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Sir Oran Haut-ton</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_44'>44</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='pageno' id='Page_xvi'>xvi</span> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER VII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Principle of Population</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_56'>56</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER VIII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Spirit of Chivalry</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_62'>62</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER IX</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Philosophy of Ballads</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_67'>67</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER X</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Torrent</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_75'>75</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XI</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Love and Marriage</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_85'>85</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Love and Poverty</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_91'>91</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XIII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Desmond</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_95'>95</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XIV</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Cottage</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_107'>107</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XV</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Library</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_115'>115</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='pageno' id='Page_xvii'>xvii</span> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XVI</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Symposium</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_121'>121</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XVII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Music and Discord</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_132'>132</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XVIII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Stratagem</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_139'>139</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XIX</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Excursion</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_147'>147</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XX</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Sea-shore</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_155'>155</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXI</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The City of Novote</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_161'>161</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Borough of Onevote</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_168'>168</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXIII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Council of War</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_182'>182</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXIV</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Barouche</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_188'>188</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='pageno' id='Page_xviii'>xviii</span> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXV</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Walk</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_195'>195</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXVI</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Cottagers</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_200'>200</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXVII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Anti-Saccharine Fête</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_206'>206</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXVIII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Chess Dance</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_212'>212</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXIX</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Disappearance</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_220'>220</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXX</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Paper-Mill</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_226'>226</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXXI</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Cimmerian Lodge</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_232'>232</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXXII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Deserted Mansion</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_243'>243</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXXIII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Phantasm</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_250'>250</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='pageno' id='Page_xix'>xix</span> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXXIV</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Churchyard</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_256'>256</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXXV</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Rustic Wedding</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_261'>261</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXXVI</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Vicarage</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_268'>268</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXXVII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Mountains</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_273'>273</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXXVIII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Fracas</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_276'>276</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XXXIX</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Mainchance Villa</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_281'>281</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XL</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>The Hopes of the World</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_295'>295</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XLI</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Alga Castle</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_305'>305</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c010'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>CHAPTER XLII</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Conclusion</span></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#Page_316'>316</a></td> + </tr> +</table> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_xxi'>xxi</span> + <h2 class='c005'>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2> +</div> + +<table class='table0'> + <tr> + <th class='c009'></th> + <th class='c010'>PAGE</th> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Sir Oran Haut-ton</td> + <td class='c010'><em><a href='#Frontispiece'>Frontispiece</a></em></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Both Irishmen and clergymen</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_004'>4</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>He was always found in the morning comfortably asleep</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_008'>8</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>A journey to London</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_011'>11</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Fashionable arrivals</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_015'>15</a></td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>Old Harry had become, by long habit, a curious species of</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>animated mirror</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_024'>24</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Sprang up, flung his night-gown one way, his night-cap another</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_027'>27</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>‘Possibly,’ thought Sir Telegraph, ‘possibly I may have seen an uglier fellow’</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_032'>32</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Sir Oran took a flying leap through the window</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_036'>36</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Mr. Fax</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_057'>57</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Anthelia</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_072'>72</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Proceeded very deliberately to pull up a pine</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_078'>78</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Alighted on the doctor’s head as he was crossing the court</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_082'>82</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>‘My dear sir, only take the trouble of sitting a few hours in my shop’</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_098'>98</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Sir Oran sat down in the artist’s seat</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_110'>110</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Mr. Feathernest</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_123'>123</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>He managed so skilfully that his Lordship became himself the proposer of the scheme</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_138'>138</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>She thought there was something peculiar in his look</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_141'>141</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>He caught them both up, one under each arm</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_145'>145</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='pageno' id='Page_xxii'>xxii</span>Their conversation was interrupted by the appearance of Mr. Hippy</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_158'>158</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>‘We shall always be deeply attentive to your interests’</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_172'>172</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>‘Hail, plural unit!’</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_176'>176</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Began to lay about him with great vigour and effect</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_179'>179</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Perched on the summit of the rock</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_183'>183</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>‘My father,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘began what I merely perpetuate’</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_203'>203</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>The company was sipping, not without many wry faces, their anti-saccharine tea</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_213'>213</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Mr. Fax was of opinion that he was smitten</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_221'>221</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Mr. Mystic observed that they must go farther</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_236'>236</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Sir Oran Haut-ton ascending the stairs with the great rain-water tub</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_240'>240</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Mr. Forester made inquiries of him</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_246'>246</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Sir Oran, throwing himself into a chair, began to shed tears in great abundance</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_253'>253</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>A great press of business to dispose of</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_257'>257</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>‘Do you know, that in all likelihood, in the course of six years, you will have as many children?’</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_263'>263</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Sir Bonus Mac Scrip retreated through the breach, and concealed himself under the dining-table</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_279'>279</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>She immediately ran through the shrubbery</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_304'>304</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>He flattered himself that Anthelia would at length come to a determination</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_308'>308</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Gazing on the changeful aspects of the wintry sea</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_311'>311</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>Preparing to administer natural justice by throwing him out at the window</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_318'>318</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>We shall leave them to run <em>ad libitum</em></td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_320'>320</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'>‘He would confess all’</td> + <td class='c010'><a href='#i_322'>322</a></td> + </tr> +</table> + +<div class='chapter ph1'> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c001'> + <div>MELINCOURT</div> + <div class='c004'><span class='small'>OR</span></div> + <div class='c004'><span class='xlarge'>SIR ORAN HAUT-TON</span></div> + <div class='c004'><span class='large'><i><span lang="la">VOCEM COMOEDIA TOLLIT</span></i></span><a id='r1'></a><a href='#f1' class='c012'><sup>[1]</sup></a></div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> + +<div> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_1'>1</span> + <h2 class='c005'>PREFACE<br> <span class='c013'>TO THE EDITION PUBLISHED IN 1856</span><a id='r2'></a><a href='#f2' class='c012'><sup>[2]</sup></a></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>‘Melincourt’ was first published thirty-nine years ago. +Many changes have since occurred, social, mechanical, and +political. The boroughs of Onevote and Threevotes have +been extinguished: but there remain boroughs of Fewvotes, +in which Sir Oran Haut-ton might still find a free and +enlightened constituency. Beards disfigure the face, and +tobacco poisons the air, in a degree not then imagined. A +boy, with a cigar in his mouth, was a phenomenon yet unborn. +Multitudinous bubbles have been blown and have burst: +sometimes prostrating dupes and impostors together; sometimes +leaving a colossal jobber upright in his triumphal chariot, +which has crushed as many victims as the car of Juggernaut. +Political mountebanks have founded profitable investments on +public gullibility. British colonists have been compelled to +emancipate their slaves; and foreign slave labour, under the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_2'>2</span>pretext of free trade, has been brought to bear against them +by the friends of liberty. The Court is more moral: therefore, +the public is more moral; more decorous, at least in external +semblance, wherever the homage, which Hypocrisy pays to +Virtue, can yield any profit to the professor: but always ready +for the same reaction, with which the profligacy of the Restoration +rolled, like a spring-tide, over the Puritanism of the +Commonwealth. The progress of intellect, with all deference +to those who believe in it, is not quite so obvious as the progress +of mechanics. The ‘reading public’ has increased its +capacity of swallow, in a proportion far exceeding that of its +digestion. Thirty-nine years ago, steamboats were just coming +into action, and the railway locomotive was not even +thought of. Now everybody goes everywhere: going for the +sake of going, and rejoicing in the rapidity with which they +accomplish nothing. <i><span lang="fr">On va, mais on ne voyage pas.</span></i> +Strenuous idleness drives us on the wings of steam in boats +and trains, seeking the art of enjoying life, which, after all, is +in the regulation of the mind, and not in the whisking about of +the body.<a id='r3'></a><a href='#f3' class='c012'><sup>[3]</sup></a> Of the disputants whose opinions and public +characters (for I never trespassed on private life) were +shadowed in some of the persons of the story, almost all have +passed from the diurnal scene. Many of the questions, discussed +in the dialogues, have more of general than of temporary +application, and have still their advocates on both sides: and +new questions have arisen, which furnish abundant argument +for similar conversations, and of which I may yet, perhaps, +avail myself on some future occasion.</p> + +<div class='lg-container-r'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><span class='sc'>The Author of ‘Headlong Hall.’</span></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c014'><em>March 1856.</em></p> + +<div id='i_004' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_4'>4</span> +<img src='images/i_004.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Both Irishmen and clergymen.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_5'>5</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER I<br> <span class='c013'>ANTHELIA</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Anthelia Melincourt, at the age of twenty-one, was +mistress of herself and of ten thousand a year, and of a very +ancient and venerable castle in one of the wildest valleys in +Westmoreland. It follows of course, without reference to her +personal qualifications, that she had a very numerous list of +admirers, and equally of course that there were both Irishmen +and clergymen among them. The young lady nevertheless +possessed sufficient attractions to kindle the flames of disinterested +passion; and accordingly we shall venture to suppose +that there was at least one in the number of her sighing swains +with whom her rent-roll and her old castle were secondary +considerations; and if the candid reader should esteem this +supposition too violent for the probabilities of daily experience +in this calculating age, he will at least concede it to that degree +of poetical licence which is invariably accorded to a tale +founded on facts.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Melincourt Castle had been a place of considerable strength +in those golden days of feudal and royal prerogative, when no +man was safe in his own house unless he adopted every +possible precaution for shutting out all his neighbours. It is, +therefore, not surprising, that a rock, of which three sides were +perpendicular, and which was only accessible on the fourth by +a narrow ledge, forming a natural bridge over a tremendous +chasm, was considered a very enviable situation for a gentleman +to build on. An impetuous torrent boiled through the +depth of the chasm, and after eddying round the base of the +castle-rock, which it almost insulated, disappeared in the +obscurity of a woody glen, whose mysterious recesses, by +popular superstition formerly consecrated to the devil, are now +<span class='pageno' id='Page_6'>6</span>fearlessly explored by the solitary angler, or laid open to view +by the more profane hand of the picturesque tourist, who contrives, +by the magic of his pencil, to transport their romantic +terrors from the depths of mountain solitude to the gay and +crowded, though not very wholesome, atmosphere of a metropolitan +exhibition.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The narrow ledge, which formed the only natural access to +the castle-rock, had been guarded by every impediment which +the genius of fortification could oppose to the progress of the +hungry Scot, who might be disposed, in his neighbourly way, +to drop in without invitation and carouse at the expense of the +owner, rewarding him, as usual, for his extorted hospitality, by +cutting his throat and setting fire to his house. A drawbridge +over the chasm, backed by a double portcullis, presented the +only mode of admission. In this secure retreat thus strongly +guarded both by nature and art, and always plentifully victualled +for a siege, lived the lords of Melincourt in all the luxury +of rural seclusion, throwing open their gates on occasional +halcyon days to regale all the peasants and mountaineers of +the vicinity with roasted oxen and vats of October.</p> + +<p class='c007'>When these times of danger and turbulence had passed, +Melincourt Castle was not, as most of its brother edifices +were, utterly deserted. The drawbridge, indeed, became +gradually divorced from its chains; the double portcullis +disappeared; the turrets and battlements were abandoned to +the owl and the ivy; and a very spacious wing was left free +to the settlement of a colony of ghosts, which, according to the +report of the peasantry and the domestics, very soon took +possession, and retained it most pertinaciously, notwithstanding +the pious incantations of the neighbouring vicar, the Reverend +Mr. Portpipe, who often passed the night in one of the dreaded +apartments over a blazing fire with the same invariable exorcising +apparatus of a large venison pasty, a little Prayer-book, +and three bottles of Madeira: for the reverend gentleman +sagaciously observed, that as he had always found the latter +an infallible charm against blue devils, he had no doubt of its +proving equally efficacious against black, white, and gray. +In this opinion experience seemed to confirm him; for though +he always maintained a becoming silence as to the mysteries +of which he was a witness during his spectral vigils, yet a very +correct inference might be drawn from the fact that he was +<span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span>always found in the morning comfortably asleep in his large +arm-chair, with the dish scraped clean, the three bottles empty, +and the Prayer-book clasped and folded precisely in the same +state and place in which it had lain the preceding night.</p> + +<div id='i_008' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_008.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>He was always found in the morning comfortably asleep.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>But the larger and more commodious part of the castle +continued still to be inhabited; and while one half of the +edifice was fast improving into a picturesque ruin, the other +was as rapidly degenerating, in its interior at least, into a +comfortable modern dwelling.</p> + +<p class='c007'>In this romantic seclusion Anthelia was born. Her mother +died in giving her birth. Her father, Sir Henry Melincourt, +a man of great acquirements, and of a retired disposition, +devoted himself in solitude to the cultivation of his daughter’s +understanding; for he was one of those who maintained the +heretical notion that women are, or at least may be, rational +beings; though, from the great pains usually taken in what is +called education to make them otherwise, there are unfortunately +very few examples to warrant the truth of the theory.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The majestic forms and wild energies of Nature that +surrounded her from her infancy impressed their character on +her mind, communicating to it all their own wildness, and +more than their own beauty. Far removed from the pageantry +of courts and cities, her infant attention was awakened to +spectacles more interesting and more impressive: the misty +mountain-top, the ash-fringed precipice, the gleaming cataract, +the deep and shadowy glen, and the fantastic magnificence of +the mountain clouds. The murmur of the woods, the rush of +the winds, and the tumultuous dashing of the torrents, were +the first music of her childhood. A fearless wanderer among +these romantic solitudes, the spirit of mountain liberty diffused +itself through the whole tenor of her feelings, modelled the +symmetry of her form, and illumined the expressive but +feminine brilliancy of her features: and when she had attained +the age at which the mind expands itself to the fascinations of +poetry, the muses of Italy became the chosen companions of +her wanderings, and nourished a naturally susceptible imagination +by conjuring up the splendid visions of chivalry and +enchantment in scenes so congenial to their development.</p> + +<p class='c007'>It was seldom that the presence of a visitor dispelled the +solitude of Melincourt; and the few specimens of the living +world with whom its inmates held occasional intercourse were +<span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>of the usual character of country acquaintance, not calculated +to leave behind them any very lively regret, except for the loss +of time during the period of their stay. One of these was the +Reverend Mr. Portpipe, whom we have already celebrated for +his proficiency in the art of exorcising goblins by dint of +venison and Madeira. His business in the ghost line had, +indeed, declined with the progress of the human understanding, +and no part of his vocation was in very high favour with Sir +Henry, who, though an unexceptionable moral character, was +unhappily not one of the children of grace, in the theological +sense of the word: but the vicar, adopting St. Paul’s precept +of being all things to all men, found it on this occasion his +interest to be liberal; and observing that no man could coerce +his opinions, repeated with great complacency the line of +Virgil:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><span lang="la">Tros Tyriusve mihi nullo discrimine agetur;</span></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>though he took especial care that his heterodox concession +should not reach the ears of his bishop, who would infallibly +have unfrocked him for promulgating a doctrine so subversive +of the main pillar of all orthodox establishments.</p> + +<p class='c007'>When Anthelia had attained her sixteenth year, her father +deemed it necessary to introduce her to that human world of +which she had hitherto seen so little, and for this purpose took +a journey to London, where he was received by the surviving +portion of his old acquaintance as a ghost returned from +Acheron. The impression which the gay scenes of the +metropolis made on the mind of Anthelia—to what illustrious +characters she was introduced—‘and all she thought of all +she saw,’—it would be foreign to our present purpose to detail; +suffice it to say, that from this period Sir Henry regularly +passed the winter in London and the summer in Westmoreland, +till his daughter attained the age of twenty, about which period +he died.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Anthelia passed twelve months from this time in total +seclusion at Melincourt, notwithstanding many pressing invitations +from various match-making dowagers in London, who +were solicitous to dispose of her according to their views of her +advantage; in which how far their own was lost sight of it +may not be difficult to determine.</p> + +<div id='i_011' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_011.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>A journey to London.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>Among the numerous lovers who had hitherto sighed at her +<span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span>shrine, not one had succeeded in making the slightest impression +on her heart; and during the twelve months of seclusion +which elapsed from the death of her father to the commencement +of this authentic history, they had all completely vanished +from the tablet of her memory. Her knowledge of love was +altogether theoretical; and her theory, being formed by the +study of Italian poetry in the bosom of mountain solitude, +naturally and necessarily pointed to a visionary model of +excellence which it was very little likely the modern world +could realise.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The dowagers, at length despairing of drawing her from her +retirement, respectively came to various resolutions for the +accomplishment of their ends; some resolving to go in person +to Melincourt, and exert all their powers of oratory to mould +her to their wishes, and others instigating their several <em>protégés</em> +to set boldly forward in search of fortune, and lay siege to the +castle and its mistress together.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER II<br> <span class='c013'>FASHIONABLE ARRIVALS</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>It was late in the afternoon of an autumnal day, when the +elegant post-chariot of the Honourable Mrs. Pinmoney, a lady +of high renown in the annals of match-making, turned the +corner of a stupendous precipice in the narrow pass which +formed the only access to the valley of Melincourt. This +honourable lady was accompanied by her only daughter Miss +Danaretta Contantina; which names, by the bye, appear to be +female diminutives of the Italian words <i><span lang="it">danaro contante</span></i>, +signifying <em>ready money</em>, and genteelly hinting to all fashionable +Strephons, the only terms on which the <em>commodity</em> so +denominated would be disposed of, according to the universal +practice of this liberal and enlightened generation, in that most +commercial of all bargains, marriage.</p> + +<div id='i_015' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_015.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Fashionable arrivals.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>The ivied battlements and frowning towers of Melincourt +Castle, as they burst at once upon the sight, very much +astonished the elder and delighted the younger lady; for the +latter had cultivated a great deal of theoretical romance—in +taste, not in feeling—an important distinction—which enabled +her to be most liberally sentimental in words, without at all +influencing her actions; to talk of heroic affection and selfsacrificing +enthusiasm, without incurring the least danger of +forming a disinterested attachment, or of erring in any way +whatever on the score of practical generosity. Indeed, in all +respects of practice the young lady was the true counterpart of +her mother, though they sometimes differed a little in the forms +of sentiment: thus, for instance, when any of their dear +friends happened to go, as it is called, down hill in the world, +the old lady was generally very severe on their <em>imprudence</em>, +and the young lady very pathetic on their <em>misfortune</em>: but as +<span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span>to holding any further intercourse with, or rendering any +species of assistance to, any dear friend so circumstanced, +neither the one nor the other was ever suspected of conduct so +very unfashionable. In the main point, therefore, of both their +lives, that of making a <em>good match</em> for Miss Danaretta, their +views perfectly coincided; and though Miss Danaretta, in her +speculative conversations on this subject, among her female +acquaintance, talked as young ladies always talk, and laid down +very precisely <em>the only kind of man she would ever think of +marrying</em>, endowing him, of course, with all the virtues in our +good friend Hookman’s Library; yet it was very well understood, +as it usually is on similar occasions, that no other proof +of the possession of the aforesaid virtues would be required +from any individual who might present himself in the character +of <i><span lang="la">Corydon sospiroso</span></i> than a satisfactory certificate from the +old lady in Threadneedle Street, that the bearer was a <em>good +man</em>, and could be proved so in the <em>Alley</em>.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Such were the amiable specimens of worldly wisdom, and +affected romance, that prepared to invade the retirement of the +mountain-enthusiast, the really romantic unworldly Anthelia.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘What a strange-looking old place!’ said Mrs. Pinmoney; +‘it seems like anything but the dwelling of a young heiress. +I am afraid the rascally postboys have joined in a plot against +us, and intend to deliver us to a gang of thieves!’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Banditti, you should say, mamma,’ said Miss Danaretta; +‘thieves is an odious word.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Pooh, child!’ said Mrs. Pinmoney. ‘The reality is +odious enough, let the word be what it will. Is not a rogue +a rogue, call him by what name you may?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Oh, certainly not,’ said Miss Danaretta; ‘for in that case +a poor rogue without a title, would not be more a rogue than a +rich rogue with one; but that he is so in a most infinite +proportion, the whole experience of the world demonstrates.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘True,’ said the old lady; ‘and as our reverend friend Dr. +Bosky observes, to maintain the contrary would be to sanction +a principle utterly subversive of all social order and aristocratical +privilege.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The carriage now rolled over the narrow ledge which +connected the site of the castle with the neighbouring rocks. +A furious peal at the outer bell brought forth a venerable +porter, who opened the gates with becoming gravity, and the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>carriage entered a spacious court, of much more recent +architecture than the exterior of the castle, and built in a style +of modern Gothic, that seemed to form a happy medium +between the days of feudality, commonly called the dark ages, +and the nineteenth century, commonly called the enlightened +age: <em>why</em> I could never discover.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The inner gates were opened by another grave and +venerable domestic, who, with all the imperturbable decorum +and formality of the old school, assisted the ladies to alight, and +ushered them along an elegant colonnade into the library, which +we shall describe no further than by saying that the apartment +was Gothic, and the furniture Grecian: whether this be an +unpardonable incongruity calculated to disarrange all legitimate +associations, or a judicious combination of solemnity and +elegance, most happily adapted to the purposes of study, we +must leave to the decision, or rather discussion, of picturesque +and antiquarian disputants.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The windows, which were of stained glass, were partly open +to a shrubbery, which admitting the meditative mind into the +recesses of nature, and excluding all view of distant scenes, +heightened the deep seclusion and repose of the apartment. It +consisted principally of evergreens; but the parting beauty of +the last flowers of autumn, and the lighter and now fading tints +of a few deciduous shrubs, mingled with the imperishable +verdure of the cedar and the laurel.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The old domestic went in search of his young mistress, and +the ladies threw themselves on a sofa in graceful attitudes. +They were shortly joined by Anthelia, who welcomed them to +Melincourt with all the politeness which the necessity of the +case imposed.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The change of dress, the dinner, the dessert, seasoned +with the <em>newest news</em> of the fashionable world, which the +visitors thought must be of all things the most delightful to the +mountain recluse, filled up a portion of the evening. When +they returned from the dining-room to the library, the windows +were closed, the curtains drawn, and the tea and coffee urns +bubbling on the table, and sending up their steamy columns: +an old fashion to be sure, and sufficiently rustic, for which we +apologise in due form to the reader, who prefers his tea and +coffee brought in cool by the butler in little cups on a silver +salver, and handed round to the simpering company till it is as +<span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span>cold as an Iceland spring. There is no disputing about taste, +and the taste of Melincourt Castle on this subject had been +always very poetically unfashionable; for the tea would have +satisfied Johnson, and the coffee enchanted Voltaire.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I must confess, my dear,’ said the Honourable Mrs. +Pinmoney, ‘there is a great deal of comfort in your way of +living, that is, there would be, in good company; but you are +so solitary——’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Here is the best of company,’ said Anthelia, smiling, and +pointing to the shelves of the library.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> Very true: books are very +good things in their way; but an hour or two at most is quite +enough of them for me; more can serve no purpose but to +muddle one’s head. If I were to live such a life for a week as +you have done for the last twelve months, I should have more +company than I like, in the shape of a whole legion of blue +devils.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Miss Danaretta.</em> Nay, I think there is something delightfully +romantic in Anthelia’s mode of life; but I confess I should +like now and then, peeping through the ivy of the battlements, +to observe a <i><span lang="fr">preux chevalier</span></i> exerting all his eloquence to +persuade the inflexible porter to open the castle gates, and +allow him one opportunity of throwing himself at the feet of +the divine lady of the castle, for whom he had been seven +years dying a lingering death.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> And growing fatter all the +while. Heaven defend me from such hypocritical fops! +Seven years indeed! It did not take as many weeks to bring +me and poor dear dead Mr. Pinmoney together.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> I should have been afraid that so short an +acquaintance would scarcely have been sufficient to acquire +that mutual knowledge of each other’s tastes, feelings, and +character, which I should think the only sure basis of matrimonial +happiness.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> Tastes, feelings, and character! +Why, my love, you really do seem to believe yourself in the +age of chivalry, when those words certainly signified very +essential differences. But now the matter is, very happily, +simplified. Tastes,—they depend on the fashion. There is +always a fashionable taste: a taste for driving the mail—a +taste for acting Hamlet—a taste for philosophical lectures—a +<span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>taste for the marvellous—a taste for the simple—a taste for +the brilliant—a taste for the sombre—a taste for the tender—a +taste for the grim—a taste for banditti—a taste for ghosts—a +taste for the devil—a taste for French dancers and Italian +singers, and German whiskers and tragedies—a taste for enjoying +the country in November, and wintering in London till the +end of the dog-days—a taste for making shoes—a taste for +picturesque tours—a taste for taste itself, or for essays on +taste;—but no gentleman would be so rash as have a taste of +his own, or his last winter’s taste, or any taste, my love, but +the fashionable taste. Poor dear Mr. Pinmoney was reckoned +a man of exquisite taste among all his acquaintance; for the +new taste, let it be what it would, always fitted him as well as +his new coat, and he was the very pink and mirror of fashion, +as much in the one as the other.—So much for tastes, my dear.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> I am afraid I shall always be a very unfashionable +creature; for I do not think I should have sympathised +with any one of the tastes you have just enumerated.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> You are so contumacious, such +a romantic heretic from the orthodox supremacy of fashion. +Now, as for feelings, my dear, you know there are no such +things in the fashionable world; therefore that difficulty vanishes +even more easily than the first.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> I am sorry for it.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> Sorry! Feelings are very +troublesome things, and always stand in the way of a person’s +own interests. Then, as to character, a gentleman’s character +is usually in the keeping of his banker, or his agent, or his +steward, or his solicitor; and if they can certify and demonstrate +that he has the means of keeping a handsome equipage, +and a town and country house, and of giving routs and dinners, +and of making a good settlement on the happy object of his +choice—what more of any gentleman’s character would you +desire to know?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> A great deal more. I would require him to be +free in all his thoughts, true in all his words, generous in all +his actions—ardent in friendship, enthusiastic in love, disinterested +in both—prompt in the conception, and constant in +the execution, of benevolent enterprise—the friend of the +friendless, the champion of the feeble, the firm opponent of the +powerful oppressor—not to be enervated by luxury, nor corrupted +<span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>by avarice, nor intimidated by tyranny, nor enthralled by +superstition—more desirous to distribute wealth than to possess +it, to disseminate liberty than to appropriate power, to cheer +the heart of sorrow than to dazzle the eyes of folly.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> And do you really expect to +find such a knight-errant? The age of chivalry is gone.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> It is, but its spirit survives. Disinterested benevolence, +the mainspring of all that is really admirable in the +days of chivalry, will never perish for want of some minds +calculated to feel its influence, still less for want of a proper +field of exertion. To protect the feeble, to raise the fallen—to +liberate the captive—to be the persevering foe of tyrants +(whether the great tyrant of an overwhelming empire, the petty +tyrant of the fields, or the ‘little tyrant of a little corporation,’)<a id='r4'></a><a href='#f4' class='c012'><sup>[4]</sup></a> +it is not necessary to wind the bugle before enchanted castles, +or to seek adventures in the depths of mountain caverns and +forests of pine; there is no scene of human life but presents +sufficient scope to energetic generosity; the field of action, +though less splendid in its accompaniments, is not less useful +in its results, nor less attractive to a liberal spirit: and I +believe it is possible to find as true a knight-errant in a brown +coat in the nineteenth century, as in a suit of golden armour +in the days of Charlemagne.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> Well! well! my dear, when +you have seen a little more of the world, you will get rid of +some of your chivalrous whimsies; and I think you will then +agree with me that there is not, in the whole sphere of fashion, +a more elegant, fine-spirited, dashing, generous fellow than my +nephew Sir Telegraph Paxarett, who, by the bye, will be driving +his barouche this way shortly, and if you do not absolutely +forbid it, will call on me in his route.</p> + +<p class='c007'>These words seemed to portend that the Honourable Mrs. +Pinmoney’s visit would be a visitation, and at the same time +threw a clear light on its motive; but they gave birth in the +mind of Anthelia to a train of ideas which concluded in a +somewhat singular determination.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER III<br> <span class='c013'>HYPOCON HOUSE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Anthelia had received intimations from various quarters of +similar intentions on the part of various individuals, not less +valuable than Sir Telegraph Paxarett in the scale of moral +utility; and though there was not one among them for whom +she felt the slightest interest, she thought it would be too +uncourteous in a pupil of chivalry, and too inhospitable in the +mistress of an old English castle, to bar her gates against +them. At the same time she felt the want of a lord seneschal +to receive and entertain visitors so little congenial to her habits +and inclinations: and it immediately occurred to her that no +one would be more fit for this honourable office, if he could be +prevailed on to undertake it, than an old relation—a medium, +as it were, between cousin and great-uncle; who had occasionally +passed a week or a month with her father at Melincourt. +The name of this old gentleman was Hippy—Humphrey +Hippy, Esquire, of Hypocon House, in the county of Durham. +He was a bachelor, and his character exhibited a singular +compound of kind-heartedness, spleen, and melancholy, which +governed him by turns, and sometimes in such rapid succession +that they seemed almost co-existent. To him Anthelia determined +on sending an express, with a letter entreating him to +take on himself, for a short time, the superintendence of +Melincourt Castle, and giving as briefly as possible her reasons +for the request. In pursuance of this determination, old Peter +Gray, a favourite domestic of Sir Henry, and, I believe, a +distant relation of little Lucy,<a id='r5'></a><a href='#f5' class='c012'><sup>[5]</sup></a> was despatched the following +morning to Hypocon House, where the gate was opened to +him by old Harry Fell, a distant relation of little Alice, who, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span>as the reader well knows, ‘belonged to Durham.’ Old Harry +had become, by long habit, a curious species of animated +mirror, and reflected all the humours of his master with +wonderful nicety. When Mr. Hippy was in a rage, old Harry +looked fierce; when Mr. Hippy was in a good humour, old +Harry was the picture of human kindness; when Mr. Hippy +was blue-devilled, old Harry was vapourish; when Mr. Hippy +was as melancholy as a gib-cat, old Harry was as dismal as a +screech-owl. The latter happened to be the case when old +Peter presented himself at the gate, and old Harry accordingly +opened it with a most rueful elongation of visage. Peter Gray +was ready with a warm salutation for his old acquaintance +Harry Fell; but the lamentable cast of expression in the +physiognomy of the latter froze it on his lips, and he contented +himself with asking in a hesitating tone, ‘Is Mr. Hippy at +home?’</p> + +<div id='i_024' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_024.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Old Harry had become, by long habit, a curious species of animated mirror.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>‘He is,’ slowly and sadly articulated Harry Fell, shaking +his head.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I have a letter for him,’ said Peter Gray.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Ah!’ said Harry Fell, taking the letter, and stalking off +with it as solemnly as if he had been following a funeral.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘A pleasant reception,’ thought Peter Gray, ‘instead of the +old ale and cold sirloin I dreamed of.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>Old Harry tapped three times at the door of his master’s +chamber, observing the same interval between each tap as is +usual between the sounds of a muffled drum: then, after a due +pause, he entered the apartment. Mr. Hippy was in his +night-gown and slippers, with one leg on a cushion, suffering +under an imaginary attack of the gout, and in the last stage of +despondency. Old Harry walked forward in the same slow +pace till he found himself at the proper distance from his +master’s chair. Then putting forth his hand as deliberately as +if it had been the hour-hand of the kitchen clock, he presented +the letter. Mr. Hippy took it in the same manner, sank back +in his chair as if exhausted with the effort, and cast his eyes +languidly on the seal. Immediately his eyes brightened, he +tore open the letter, read it in an instant, sprang up, flung his +night-gown one way, his night-cap another, kicked off his +slippers, kicked away his cushion, kicked over his chair, and +bounced downstairs, roaring for his coat and boots, and his +travelling chariot, with old Harry capering at his heels, and +<span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span>re-echoing all his requisitions. Harry Fell was now a new man. +Peter Gray was seized by the hand and dragged into the +buttery, where a cold goose and a flagon of ale were placed +before him, to which he immediately proceeded to do ample +justice; while old Harry rushed off with a cold fowl and ham +for the refection of Mr. Hippy, who had been too seriously indisposed +in the morning to touch a morsel of breakfast. +Having placed these and a bottle of Madeira in due form and +order before his master, he flew back to the buttery, to assist +old Peter in the demolition of the goose and ale, his own +appetite in the morning having sympathised with his master’s, +and being now equally disposed to make up for lost time.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Hippy’s travelling chariot was rattled up to the door by +four high-mettled posters from the nearest inn. Mr. Hippy +sprang into the carriage, old Harry vaulted into the dicky, the +postilions cracked their whips, and away they went,</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Over the hills and the plains,</div> + <div class='line'>Over the rivers and rocks,</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>leaving old Peter gaping after them at the gate, in profound +astonishment at their sudden metamorphosis, and in utter +despair of being able, by any exertions of his own, to be their +forerunner and announcer at Melincourt. Considering, therefore, +that when the necessity of being too late is inevitable, +hurry is manifestly superfluous, he mounted his galloway with +great gravity and deliberation, and trotted slowly off towards +the mountains, philosophising all the way in the usual poetical +style of a Cumberland peasant. Our readers will of course +feel much obliged to us for not presenting them with his +meditations. But instead of jogging back with old Peter Gray, +or travelling post with Humphrey Hippy, Esquire, we shall +avail ourselves of the four-in-hand barouche which is just coming +in view, to take a seat on the box by the side of Sir Telegraph +Paxarett, and proceed in his company to Melincourt.</p> + +<div id='i_027' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span> +<img src='images/i_027.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Sprang up, flung his night-gown one way, his night-cap another.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER IV<br> <span class='c013'>REDROSE ABBEY</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Sir Telegraph Paxarett had entered the precincts of the +mountains of Westmoreland, and was bowling his barouche +along a romantic valley, looking out very anxiously for an inn, +as he had now driven his regular diurnal allowance of miles, +and was becoming very impatient for his equally regular +diurnal allowance of fish, fowl, and Madeira. A wreath of +smoke ascending from a thick tuft of trees at a distance, and +in a straight direction before him, cheered up his spirits, and +induced him to cheer up those of his horses with two or three +of those technical terms of the road, which we presume to +have formed part of the genuine language of the ancient +Houyhnhnms, since they seem not only much better adapted +to equine than human organs of sound, but are certainly much +more generally intelligible to four-footed than to two-footed +animals. Sir Telegraph was doomed to a temporary disappointment; +for when he had attained the desired point, the +smoke proved to issue from the chimneys of an ancient abbey +which appeared to have been recently converted from a pile of +ruins into the habitation of some variety of the human species, +with very singular veneration for the relics of antiquity, which, +in their exterior aspect, had suffered little from the alteration. +There was something so analogous between the state of this +building and what he had heard of Melincourt, that if it had +not been impossible to mistake an abbey for a castle, he might +almost have fancied himself arrived at the dwelling of the +divine Anthelia. Under a detached piece of ruins near the +road, which appeared to have been part of a chapel, several +workmen were busily breaking the ground with spade and +pickaxe: a gentleman was superintending their operations, and +<span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span>seemed very eager to arrive at the object of his search. Sir +Telegraph stopped his barouche to inquire the distance to the +nearest inn: the gentleman replied, ‘Six miles.’ ‘That is +just five miles and a half too far,’ said Sir Telegraph, and was +proceeding to drive on, when, on turning round to make his +parting bow to the stranger, he suddenly recognised him for +an old acquaintance and fellow-collegian.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Sylvan Forester!’ exclaimed Sir Telegraph; ‘who should +have dreamed of meeting you in this uncivilised part of the +world?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I am afraid,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘this part of the world +does not deserve the compliment implied in the epithet you +have bestowed on it. Within no very great distance from this +spot are divers towns, villages, and hamlets, in any one of +which, if you have money, you may make pretty sure of being +cheated, and if you have none, quite sure of being starved—strong +evidences of a state of civilisation.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Aha!’ said Sir Telegraph, ‘your old way, now I recollect—always +fond of railing at civilised life, and holding forth in +praise of savages and what you called original men. But +what, in truth, make you in Westmoreland?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I have purchased this old abbey,’ said Mr. Forester +‘(anciently called the abbey of Rednose, which I have altered +to Redrose, as being more analogous to my notions of beauty, +whatever the reverend Fellows of our old college might have +thought of it), and have fitted it up for my habitation, with the +view of carrying on in peace and seclusion some peculiar +experiments on the nature and progress of man. Will you +dine with me, and pass the night here? and I will introduce +you to an original character.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘With all my heart,’ said Sir Telegraph; ‘I can assure +you, independently of the pleasure of meeting an old acquaintance, +it is a great comfort to dine in a gentleman’s house, after +living from inn to inn and being poisoned with bad wine for +a month.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>Sir Telegraph descended from his box, and directed one of +his grooms to open the carriage-door and emancipate the +coachman, who was fast asleep inside. Sir Telegraph gave him +the reins, and Mr. Forester sent one of his workmen to show +him the way to the stables.</p> + +<div id='i_032' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_032.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p>‘<em>Possibly</em>,’ <em>thought Sir Telegraph</em>, ‘<em>possibly I may have seen an uglier fellow</em>.’</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>‘And pray,’ said Sir Telegraph, as the barouche +<span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span>disappeared among the trees, ‘what may be the object of your +researches in this spot?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘You know,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘it is a part of my tenets +that the human species is gradually decreasing in size and +strength, and I am digging in the old cemetery for bones and +skulls to establish the truth of my theory.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Have you found any?’ said Sir Telegraph.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Many,’ said Mr. Forester. ‘About three weeks ago we +dug up a very fine skeleton, no doubt of some venerable father, +who must have been, in more senses than one, a pillar of the +Church. I have had the skull polished and set in silver. +You shall drink your wine out of it, if you please, to-day.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I thank you,’ said Sir Telegraph, ‘but I am not particular; +a glass will suit me as well as the best skull in Europe. +Besides, I am a moderate man: one bottle of Madeira and +another of claret are enough for me at any time; so that the +quantity of wine a reverend sconce can carry would be just +treble my usual allowance.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>They walked together towards the abbey. Sir Telegraph +earnestly requested, that, before they entered, he might be +favoured with a peep at the stable. Mr. Forester of course +complied. Sir Telegraph found this important part of the +buildings capacious and well adapted to its purpose, but did +not altogether approve its being totally masked by an old ivied +wall, which had served in former times to prevent the braw +and bonny Scot from making too free with the beeves of the +pious fraternity.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The new dwelling-house was so well planned, and fitted in +so well between the ancient walls, that very few vestiges of the +modern architect were discernible; and it was obvious that +the growth of the ivy, and of numerous trailing and twining +plants, would soon overrun all vestiges of the innovation, and +blend the whole exterior into one venerable character of +antiquity.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I do not think,’ said Mr. Forester, as they proceeded +through part of the grounds, ‘that the most determined zealot +of the picturesque would quarrel with me here. I found the +woods around the abbey matured by time and neglect into a +fine state of wildness and intricacy, and I think I have left +enough of them to gratify their most ardent admirer.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Quite enough, in all conscience,’ said Sir Telegraph, who +<span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>was in white jean trousers, with very thin silk stockings and +pumps. ‘I do not generally calculate on being, as an old +song I have somewhere heard expresses it,</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Forced to scramble,</div> + <div class='line'>When I ramble,</div> + <div class='line'>Through a copse of furze and bramble;</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>which would be all very pleasant perhaps, if the fine effect of +picturesque roughness were not unfortunately, as Macbeth says +of his dagger, “sensible to feeling as to sight.” But who is +that gentleman, sitting under the great oak yonder in the +green coat and nankins? He seems very thoughtful.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘He is of a contemplative disposition,’ said Mr. Forester: +‘you must not be surprised if he should not speak a word +during the whole time you are here. The politeness of his +manner makes amends for his habitual taciturnity. I will +introduce you.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The gentleman under the oak had by this time discovered +them, and came forward with great alacrity to meet Mr. +Forester, who cordially shook hands with him, and introduced +him to Sir Telegraph as Sir Oran Haut-ton, Baronet.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Sir Telegraph looked earnestly at the stranger, but was too +polite to laugh, though he could not help thinking there was +something very ludicrous in Sir Oran’s physiognomy, notwithstanding +the air of high fashion which characterised his whole +deportment, and which was heightened by a pair of enormous +whiskers, and the folds of a vast cravat. He therefore bowed +to Sir Oran with becoming gravity, and Sir Oran returned the +bow with very striking politeness.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Possibly,’ thought Sir Telegraph, ‘possibly I may have +seen an uglier fellow.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The trio entered the abbey, and shortly after sat down to +dinner.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester and Sir Oran Haut-ton took the head and +foot of the table. Sir Telegraph sat between them. ‘Some +soup, Sir Telegraph?’ said Mr. Forester. ‘I rather think,’ +said Sir Telegraph, ‘I shall trouble Sir Oran for a slice of +fish.’ Sir Oran helped him with great dexterity, and then +performed the same office for himself. ‘I think you will like +this Madeira?’ said Mr. Forester. ‘Capital!’ said Sir +Telegraph: ‘Sir Oran, shall I have the pleasure of taking +<span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span>wine with you?’ Sir Oran Haut-ton bowed gracefully to Sir +Telegraph Paxarett, and the glasses were tossed off with the +usual ceremonies. Sir Oran preserved an inflexible silence +during the whole duration of dinner, but showed great proficiency +in the dissection of game.</p> + +<div id='i_036' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_036.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Sir Oran took a flying leap through the window.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>When the cloth was removed, the wine circulated freely, +and Sir Telegraph, as usual, filled a numerous succession of +glasses. Mr. Forester, not as usual, did the same; for he was +generally very abstemious in this respect; but, on the present +occasion, he relaxed from his severity, quoting the <i><span lang="la">Placari +genius festis impune diebus</span></i>, and the <i><span lang="la">Dulce est desipere in loco</span></i>, +of Horace. Sir Oran likewise approved, by his practice, that +he thought the wine particularly excellent, and <i><span lang="it">Beviamo tutti +tre</span></i> appeared to be the motto of the party. Mr. Forester +inquired into the motives which had brought Sir Telegraph to +Westmoreland; and Sir Telegraph entered into a rapturous +encomium of the heiress of Melincourt which was suddenly cut +short by Sir Oran, who, having taken a glass too much, rose +suddenly from table, took a flying leap through the window, +and went dancing along the woods like a harlequin.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Upon my word,’ said Sir Telegraph, ‘a devilish lively, +pleasant fellow! Curse me if I know what to make of him.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I will tell you his history,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘by and by. +In the meantime I must look after him, that he may neither +do nor receive mischief. Pray take care of yourself till I +return.’ Saying this, he sprang through the window after Sir +Oran, and disappeared by the same track among the trees.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Curious enough!’ soliloquised Sir Telegraph; ‘however, +not much to complain of, as the best part of the company is +left behind: videlicet, the bottle.’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER V<br> <span class='c013'>SUGAR</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Sir Telegraph was tossing off the last heeltap of his regular +diurnal allowance of wine, when Mr. Forester and Sir Oran +Haut-ton reappeared, walking past the window arm in arm; +Sir Oran’s mode of progression being very vacillating, indirect, +and titubant; enough so, at least, to show that he had not completely +danced off the effects of the Madeira. Mr. Forester +shortly after entered; and Sir Telegraph inquiring concerning +Sir Oran, ‘I have persuaded him to go to bed,’ said Mr. +Forester, ‘and I doubt not he is already fast asleep.’ A +servant now entered with tea. Sir Telegraph proceeded to +help himself, when he perceived there was no sugar, and +reminded his host of the omission.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> If I had anticipated the honour of your +company, Sir Telegraph, I would have provided myself with a +small quantity of that nefarious ingredient: but in this solitary +situation, these things are not to be had at a moment’s notice. +As it is, seeing little company, and regulating my domestic +arrangements on philosophical principles, I never suffer an +atom of West Indian produce to pass my threshold. I have +no wish to resemble those pseudo-philanthropists, those miserable +declaimers against slavery, who are very liberal of words +which cost them nothing, but are not capable of advancing the +object they profess to have at heart, by submitting to the +smallest personal privation. If I wish seriously to exterminate +an evil, I begin by examining how far I am myself, in any way +whatever, an accomplice in the extension of its baleful influence. +My reform commences at home. How can I unblushingly +declaim against thieves, while I am a receiver of stolen goods? +How can I seriously call myself an enemy to slavery, while I +<span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span>indulge in the luxuries that slavery acquires? How can the +consumer of sugar pretend to throw on the grower of it the +exclusive burden of their participated criminality? How can +he wash his hands, and say with Pilate, “<em>I am innocent of +this blood, see ye to it</em>”?</p> + +<p class='c007'>Sir Telegraph poured some cream into his unsweetened tea, +drank it, and said nothing. Mr. Forester proceeded:</p> + +<p class='c007'>If every individual in this kingdom, who is truly and +conscientiously an enemy to the slave-trade, would subject +himself to so very trivial a privation as abstinence from colonial +produce, I consider that a mortal blow would be immediately +struck at the roots of that iniquitous system.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> If every individual enemy to the +slave-trade would follow your example, the object would no +doubt be much advanced; but the practice of one individual +more or less has little or no influence on general society: +most of us go on with the tide, and the dread of the single +word <em>quiz</em> has more influence in keeping the greater part of +us within the pale of custom, fashion, and precedent, than all +the moral reasonings and declamations in the world will ever +have in persuading us to break through it. As to the diffusion +of liberty, and the general happiness of mankind, which used +to be your favourite topics when we were at college together, I +should have thought your subsequent experience would have +shown you that there is not one person in ten thousand who +knows what liberty means, or cares a single straw for any +happiness but his own——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Which his own miserable selfishness must +estrange from him for ever. He whose heart has never glowed +with a generous resolution, who has never felt the conscious +triumph of a disinterested sacrifice, who has never sympathised +with human joys or sorrows, but when they have had a direct +and palpable reference to himself, can never be acquainted +with even the semblance of happiness. His utmost enjoyment +must be many degrees inferior to that of a pig, inasmuch as +the sordid mire of selfish and brutal stupidity is more defiling +to the soul, than any coacervation of mere material mud can +possibly be to the body. The latter may be cleared away +with two or three ablutions, but the former cleaves and +accumulates into a mass of impenetrable corruption, that bids +defiance to the united powers of Hercules and Alpheus.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Be that as it may, every man +will continue to follow his own fancy. The world is bad +enough, I daresay; but it is not for you or me to mend it.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> There is the keystone of the evil—mistrust +of the influence of individual example. ‘We are bad ourselves, +because we despair of the goodness of others.’<a id='r6'></a><a href='#f6' class='c012'><sup>[6]</sup></a> +Yet the history of the world abounds with sudden and extraordinary +revolutions in the opinions of mankind, which have +been effected by single enthusiasts.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Speculative opinions have been +sometimes changed by the efforts of roaring fanatics. Men +have been found very easily permutable into <em>ites</em> and <em>onians</em>, +<em>avians</em>, and <em>arians</em>, Wesleyites or Whitfieldites, Huntingdonians +or Muggletonians, Moravians, Trinitarians, Unitarians, Anythingarians: +but the metamorphosis only affects a few obscure +notions concerning types, symbols, and mysteries, which have +scarcely any effect on moral theory, and of course, <em>a fortiori</em>, +none whatever on moral practice: the latter is for the most +part governed by the general habits and manners of the society +we live in. One man may twang responses in concert with +the parish clerk; another may sit silent in a Quakers’ meeting, +waiting for the inspiration of the Spirit; a third may groan +and howl in a tabernacle; a fourth may breakfast, dine, and +sup in a Sandemanian chapel: but meet any of the four in the +common intercourse of society, you will scarcely know one +from another. The single adage, <em>Charity begins at home</em>, will +furnish a complete key to the souls of all four; for I have +found, as far as my observation has extended, that men carry +their religion<a id='r7'></a><a href='#f7' class='c012'><sup>[7]</sup></a> in other men’s heads, and their morality in their +own pockets.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I think it will be found that individual +example has in many instances produced great moral effects +on the practice of society. Even if it were otherwise, is it not +better to be Abdiel among the fiends, than to be lost and confounded +in the legion of imps grovelling in the train of the +evil power?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> There is something in that.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> To borrow an allegory from Homer: I +would say society is composed of two urns, one of good, and +one of evil. I will suppose that every individual of the human +species receives from his natal genius a little phial, containing +one drop of a fluid, which shall be evil, if poured into the urn +of evil, and good if into that of good. If you were proceeding +to the station of the urns with ten thousand persons, every one +of them predetermined to empty his phial into the urn of evil, +which I fear is too true a picture of the practice of society, +should you consider their example, if you were hemmed in in the +centre of them, a sufficient excuse for not breaking from them, +and approaching the neglected urn? Would you say, “The +urn of good will derive little increase from my solitary drop, +and one more or less will make very little difference in the urn of +ill; I will spare myself trouble, do as the world does, and let +the urn of good take its chance, from those who can approach +it with less difficulty”? No: you would rather say, “That +neglected urn contains the hopes of the human species: little, +indeed, is the addition I can make to it, but it will be good as +far as it goes”; and if, on approaching the urn, you should +find it not so empty as you had anticipated, if the genius +appointed to guard it should say to you, “There is enough in +this urn already to allow a reasonable expectation that it will +one day be full, and yet it has only accumulated drop by drop +<span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span>through the efforts of individuals, who broke through the pale +and pressure of the multitude, and did not despair of human +virtue”; would you not feel ten thousand times repaid for the +difficulties you had overcome, and the scoffs of the fools and +slaves you had abandoned, by the single reflection that would +then rush upon your mind, <em>I am one of these</em>?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Gad, very likely: I never considered +the subject in that light. You have made no allowance +for the mixture of good and evil, which I think the fairest state +of the case. It seems to me, that the world always goes on +pretty much in one way. People eat, drink, and sleep, make +merry with their friends, get as much money as they can, marry +when they can afford it, take care of their children because +they are their own, are thought well of while they live in proportion +to the depth of their purse, and when they die, are +sure of as good a character on their tombstones as the bellman +and stonemason can afford for their money.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Such is the multitude; but there are noble +exceptions to this general littleness.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Now and then an original genius +strikes out of the common track; but there are two ways of +doing that—into a worse as well as a better.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> There are some assuredly who strike into +a better, and these are the ornaments of their age, and the +lights of the world. You must admit too, that there are many, +who, though without energy or capacity to lead, have yet virtue +enough to follow an illustrious example.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> One or two.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> In every mode of human action there are +two ways to be pursued—a good and a bad one. It is the +duty of every man to ascertain the former, as clearly as his +capacity will admit, by an accurate examination of general +relations; and to act upon it rigidly, without regard to his own +previous habits, or the common practice of the world.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> And you infer from all this that +it is my duty to drink my tea without sugar.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I infer that it is the duty of every one, +thoroughly penetrated with the iniquity of the slave-trade, to +abstain entirely from the use of colonial produce.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> I may do that, without any great +effort of virtue. I find the difference, in this instance, more +<span class='pageno' id='Page_43'>43</span>trivial than I could have supposed. In fact, I never thought +of it before.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I hope I shall before long have the pleasure +of enrolling you a member of the Anti-saccharine Society, which +I have had the happiness to organise, and which is daily +extending its numbers. Some of its principal members will +shortly pay a visit to Redrose Abbey; and I purpose giving a +festival, to which I shall invite all that is respectable and +intelligent in this part of the country, and in which I intend to +demonstrate practically, that a very elegant and luxurious +entertainment may be prepared without employing a single +particle of that abominable ingredient, and theoretically, that +the use of sugar is economically superfluous, physically +pernicious, morally atrocious, and politically abominable.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> I shall be happy to join the party, +and I may possibly bring with me one or two inside passengers, +who will prove both ornamental and attractive to your festival. +But you promised me an account of Sir Oran.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_44'>44</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER VI<br> <span class='c013'>SIR ORAN HAUT-TON</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Sir Oran Haut-ton was caught very young +in the woods of Angola.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Caught!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Very young. He is a specimen of the +natural and original man—the wild man of the woods; called +in the language of the more civilised and sophisticated natives +of Angola, <em>Pongo</em>, and in that of the Indians of South America, +<em>Oran Outang</em>.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> The devil he is!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Positively. Some presumptuous naturalists +have refused his species the honours of humanity; but the +most enlightened and illustrious philosophers agree in considering +him in his true light as the natural and original man.<a id='r8'></a><a href='#f8' class='c012'><sup>[8]</sup></a> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_45'>45</span>One French philosopher, indeed, has been guilty of an inaccuracy, +in considering him as a degenerated man;<a id='r9'></a><a href='#f9' class='c012'><sup>[9]</sup></a> degenerated +he cannot be; as his prodigious physical strength, his +uninterrupted health, and his amiable simplicity of manners +demonstrate. He is, as I have said, a specimen of the natural +and original man—a genuine facsimile of the philosophical +Adam.</p> + +<p class='c007'>He was caught by an intelligent negro very young, in the +woods of Angola; and his gentleness and sweet temper<a id='r10'></a><a href='#f10' class='c012'><sup>[10]</sup></a> winning +the hearts of the negro and negress, they brought him up +in their cottage as the playfellow of their little boys and girls, +where, with the exception of speech, he acquired the practice +of such of the simpler arts of life as the degree of civilisation +in that part of Africa admits. In this way he lived till he was +about seventeen years of age——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> By his own reckoning?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> By analogical computation. At this period, +my old friend Captain Hawltaught of the Tornado frigate, +being driven by stress of weather to the coast of Angola, was +<span class='pageno' id='Page_46'>46</span>so much struck with the contemplative cast of Sir Oran’s +countenance,<a id='r11'></a><a href='#f11' class='c012'><sup>[11]</sup></a> that he offered the negro an irresistible bribe +to surrender him to his possession. The negro brought him +on board, and took an opportunity to leave him slily, but with +infinite reluctance and sympathetic grief. When the ship +weighed anchor, and Sir Oran found himself separated from +the friends of his youth, and surrounded with strange faces, he +wept bitterly,<a id='r12'></a><a href='#f12' class='c012'><sup>[12]</sup></a> and fell into such deep grief that his life was +despaired of.<a id='r13'></a><a href='#f13' class='c012'><sup>[13]</sup></a> The surgeon of the ship did what he could for +him; and a much better doctor, Time, completed his cure. +By degrees a very warm friendship for my friend Captain +Hawltaught extinguished his recollection of his negro friends. +Three years they cruised together in the Tornado, when a +dangerous wound compelled the old captain to renounce his +darling element, and lay himself up in ordinary for the rest of +his days. He retired on his half-pay and the produce of his +prize-money to a little village in the West of England, where +he employed himself very assiduously in planting cabbages and +<span class='pageno' id='Page_47'>47</span>watching the changes of the wind. Mr. Oran, as he was then +called, was his inseparable companion, and became a very +expert practical gardener. The old captain used to observe, +he could always say he had an honest man in his house, which +was more than could be said of many honourable houses where +there was much vapouring about honour.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Oran had long before shown a taste for music, and with +some little instruction from a marine officer in the Tornado, +had become a proficient on the flute and French horn.<a id='r14'></a><a href='#f14' class='c012'><sup>[14]</sup></a> He +could never be brought to understand the notes; but, from +hearing any simple tune played or sung two or three times, he +never failed to perform it with great exactness and brilliancy +of execution. I shall merely observe, <em>en passant</em>, that music +appears, from this and several similar circumstances, to be +more natural to man than speech. The old captain was fond +of his bottle of wine after dinner, and his glass of grog at night. +Mr. Oran was easily brought to sympathise in this taste;<a id='r15'></a><a href='#f15' class='c012'><sup>[15]</sup></a> and +they have many times sat up together half the night over a +flowing bowl, the old captain singing Rule Britannia, True +Courage, or Tom Tough, and Sir Oran accompanying him on +the French horn.</p> + +<p class='c007'>During a summer tour in Devonshire, I called on my old +<span class='pageno' id='Page_48'>48</span>friend Captain Hawltaught, and was introduced to Mr. Oran. +You, who have not forgotten my old speculations on the origin +and progress of man, may judge of my delight at this happy +<em>rencontre</em>. I exerted all the eloquence I was master of to +persuade Captain Hawltaught to resign him to me, that I might +give him a philosophical education.<a id='r16'></a><a href='#f16' class='c012'><sup>[16]</sup></a> Finding this point +unattainable, I took a house in the neighbourhood, and the +intercourse which ensued was equally beneficial and agreeable +to all three.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> And what part did you take in +their nocturnal concerts, with Tom Tough and the French +horn?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I was seldom present at them, and often +remonstrated, but ineffectually, with the captain, on his corrupting +the amiable simplicity of the natural man by this pernicious +celebration of vinous and spirituous orgies; but the only +answer I could ever get from him was a hearty damn against +all water-drinkers, accompanied with a reflection that he was +sure every enemy to wine and grog must have clapped down +the hatches of his conscience on some secret villainy, which he +feared good liquor would pipe ahoy; and he usually concluded +by striking up <cite>Nothing like Grog</cite>, <cite>Saturday Night</cite>, or <cite>Swing +the flowing Bowl</cite>, his friend Oran’s horn ringing in sympathetic +symphony.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The old captain used to say that grog was the elixir of life: +but it did not prove so to him; for one night he tossed off his +last bumper, sang his last stave, and heard the last flourish of +his Oran’s horn. I thought poor Oran would have broken his +heart; and, had he not been familiarised to me, and conceived +a very lively friendship for me before the death of his old friend, +I fear the consequences would have been fatal.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Considering that change of scene would divert his melancholy, +I took him with me to London. The theatres delighted +him, particularly the opera, which not only accorded admirably +with his taste for music, but where, as he looked round on the +ornaments of the fashionable world, he seemed to be particularly +comfortable, and to feel himself completely at home.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_49'>49</span>There is, to a stranger, something ludicrous in a first view +of his countenance, which led me to introduce him only into +the best society, where politeness would act as a preventive to +the propensity to laugh; for he has so nice a sense of honour +(which I shall observe, by the way, is peculiar to man), that +if he were to be treated with any kind of contumely, he would +infallibly die of a broken heart, as has been seen in some of +his species.<a id='r17'></a><a href='#f17' class='c012'><sup>[17]</sup></a> With a view of ensuring him the respect of +society which always attends on rank and fortune, I have +purchased him a baronetcy, and made over to him an estate. +I have also purchased of the Duke of Rottenburgh one half of +the elective franchise vested in the body of Mr. Christopher +Corporate, the free, fat, and dependent burgess of the ancient +and honourable borough of Onevote, who returns two members +to Parliament, one of whom will shortly be Sir Oran. (<em>Sir +Telegraph gave a long whistle.</em>) But before taking this +important step, I am desirous that he should <em>finish his education</em>. +(<em>Sir Telegraph whistled again.</em>) I mean to say that I wish, +if possible, to put a few words into his mouth, which I have +hitherto found impracticable, though I do not entirely despair +of ultimate success. But this circumstance, for reasons which +I will give you by and by, does not at all militate against the +proofs of his being a man.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> If he be but half a man, he will +be the fitter representative of half an elector; for as that ‘large +body corporate of one,’ the free, fat, and dependent burgess +of Onevote, returns two members to the honourable house, Sir +Oran can only be considered as the representative of half of +him. But, seriously, is not your principal object an irresistible +exposure of the universality and omnipotence of corruption by +purchasing for an oran outang one of those seats, the sale of +which is unblushingly acknowledged to be <em>as notorious as the +sun at noonday</em>? or do you really think him <em>one of us</em>?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I really think him a variety of the human +species; and this is a point which I have it much at heart to +establish in the acknowledgment of the civilised world.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Buffon, whom I dip into now and +then in the winter, ranks him, with Linnaeus, in the class of +<em>Simiae</em>.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Linnaeus has given him the curious +<span class='pageno' id='Page_50'>50</span>denominations of <em>Troglodytes</em>, <i><span lang="la">Homo nocturnus</span></i>, and <i><span lang="la">Homo +silvestris</span></i>: but he evidently thought him a man; he describes +him as having a hissing speech, thinking, reasoning, believing +that the earth was made for him, and that he will one day be +its sovereign.<a id='r18'></a><a href='#f18' class='c012'><sup>[18]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> God save King Oran! By the +bye, you put me very much in mind of Valentine and Orson. +This wild man of yours will turn out some day to be the son +of a king, lost in the woods, and suckled by a lioness:—‘No +waiter, but a knight templar’:—no Oran, but a true prince.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> As to Buffon, it is astonishing how that +great naturalist could have placed him among the <em>singes</em>, when +the very words of his description give him all the characteristics +of human nature.<a id='r19'></a><a href='#f19' class='c012'><sup>[19]</sup></a> It is still more curious to think that modern +travellers should have made beasts, under the names of Pongos, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_51'>51</span>Mandrills, and Oran Outangs, of the very same beings whom +the ancients worshipped as divinities under the names of Fauns +and Satyrs, Silenus and Pan.<a id='r20'></a><a href='#f20' class='c012'><sup>[20]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Your Oran rises rapidly in the +scale of being:—from a baronet and M.P. to a king of the +world, and now to a god of the woods.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> When I was in London last winter, I became +acquainted with a learned mythologist, who has long laboured +to rebuild the fallen temple of Jupiter. I introduced him to +Sir Oran, for whom he immediately conceived a high veneration, +and would never call him by any name but Pan. His usual +salutation to him was in the following words:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>ἐλθε, μακαρ, σκιρτητα, φιλενθεος, ἀντροδιαιτε,</div> + <div class='line'>ἁρμονιην κοσμοιο κρεκων φιλοπαιγμονι μολπῃ,</div> + <div class='line'>κοσμοκρατωρ, βακχευτα!<a id='r21'></a><a href='#f21' class='c012'><sup>[21]</sup></a></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>Which he thus translated:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>King of the world! enthusiast free,</div> + <div class='line'>Who dwell’st in caves of liberty!</div> + <div class='line'>And on thy wild pipe’s notes of glee</div> + <div class='line'>Respondent Nature’s harmony!</div> + <div class='line'>Leading beneath the spreading tree</div> + <div class='line'>The Bacchanalian revelry!</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_52'>52</span>‘This,’ said he, ‘is part of the Orphic invocation of Pan. It +alludes to the happy existence of the dancing Pans, Fauns, +Orans, <i><span lang="la">et id genus omne</span></i>, whose dwellings are the caves of rocks +and the hollows of trees, such as undoubtedly was, or would +have been, the natural mode of life of our friend Pan among +the woods of Angola. It alludes, too, to their musical powers, +which in our friend Pan it gives me indescribable pleasure to +find so happily exemplified. The epithet <em>Bacchic</em>, our friend +Pan’s attachment to the bottle demonstrates to be very +appropriate; and the epithet κοσμοκρατωρ, king of the world, +points out a striking similarity between the Orphic Pan and +the Troglodyte of Linnaeus, <em>who believes that the earth was +made for him, and that he will again be its sovereign</em>.’ He laid +great stress on the word <span class='fss'>AGAIN</span>, and observed, if he were to +develop all the ideas to which this word gave rise in his mind, +he should find ample matter for a volume. Then repeating +several times, Παν κοσμοκρατωρ, and <i><span lang="la">iterum fore telluris +imperantem</span></i>, he concluded by saying he had known many +profound philosophical and mythological systems founded on +much slighter analogies.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Your learned mythologist appears +to be non compos.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> By no means. He has a system of his own, +which only appears in the present day more absurd than other +systems, because it has fewer followers. The manner in which +the spirit of system twists everything to its own views is truly +wonderful. I believe that in every nation of the earth the +system which has most followers will be found the most absurd +in the eye of an enlightened philosophy.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> But if your Oran be a man, how +is it that his long intercourse with other varieties of the human +species has not taught him to speak?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Speech is a highly artificial faculty. +Civilised man is a highly artificial animal. The change from +the wild to the civilised state affects not only his moral, but +his physical nature, and this not rapidly and instantly, but in +a long process of generations. The same change is obvious +in domestic animals, and in cultivated plants. You know not +where to look for the origin of the common dog, or the +common fowl. The wild and tame hog, and the wild and +tame cat, are marked by more essential differences than the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_53'>53</span>oran and the civilised man. The origin of corn is as much a +mystery to us as the source of the Nile was to the ancients. +Innumerable flowers have been so changed from their original +simplicity, that the art of horticulture may almost lay claim to +the magic of a new creation. Is it then wonderful that the +civilised man should have acquired some physical faculties +which the natural man has not? It is demonstrable that +speech is one. I do not, however, despair of seeing him make +some progress in this art. Comparative anatomy shows that +he has all the organs of articulation. Indeed he has, in every +essential particular, the human form, and the human anatomy. +<em>Now I will only observe that if an animal who walks upright—is +of the human form, both outside and inside—uses a weapon +for defence and attack—associates with his kind—makes huts +to defend himself from the weather, better I believe than those of +the New Hollanders—is tame and gentle—and instead of +killing men and women, as he could easily do, takes them +prisoners and makes servants of them—who has, what I think +essential to the human kind, a sense of honour</em>; which is shown +by breaking his heart, if laughed at, or made a show, or treated +with any kind of contumely—<em>who, when he is brought into the +company of civilised men, behaves</em> (as you have seen) <em>with +dignity and composure, altogether unlike a monkey; from whom +he differs likewise in this material respect, that he is capable of +great attachment to particular persons, of which the monkey is +altogether incapable; and also in this respect, that a monkey +never can be so tamed that we may depend on his not doing +mischief when left alone, by breaking glasses or china within his +reach; whereas the oran outang is altogether harmless;—who +has so much of the docility of a man that he learns not only to +do the common offices of life, but also to play on the flute</em> and +French horn; <em>which shows that he must have an idea of melody +and concord of sounds, which no brute animal has;—and lastly, +if joined to all these qualities he has the organ of pronunciation, +and consequently the capacity of speech, though not the actual use +of it; if, I say, such an animal be not a man, I should desire to +know in what the essence of a man consists, and what it is that +distinguishes a natural man from the man of art</em>.<a id='r22'></a><a href='#f22' class='c012'><sup>[22]</sup></a> That he +<span class='pageno' id='Page_54'>54</span>understands many words, though he does not yet speak any, +I think you may have observed, when you asked him to take +wine, and applied to him for fish and partridge.<a id='r23'></a><a href='#f23' class='c012'><sup>[23]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> The gestures, however slight, +that accompany the expression of the ordinary forms of intercourse, +may possibly explain that.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You will find that he understands many +things addressed to him on occasions of very unfrequent +occurrence. <em>With regard to his moral character, he is undoubtedly +a man, and a much better man than many that are to be +found in civilised countries</em>,<a id='r24'></a><a href='#f24' class='c012'><sup>[24]</sup></a> as, when you are better acquainted +with him, I feel very confident you will readily acknowledge.<a id='r25'></a><a href='#f25' class='c012'><sup>[25]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_55'>55</span><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> I shall be very happy, when his +election comes on for Onevote, to drive him down in my +barouche to the honourable and ancient borough.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester promised to avail himself of this proposal; +when the iron tongue of midnight tolling twelve induced them +to separate for the night.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_56'>56</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER VII<br> <span class='c013'>THE PRINCIPLE OF POPULATION</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The next morning, while Sir Telegraph, Sir Oran, and Mr. +Forester were sitting down to their breakfast, a post-chaise +rattled up to the door; the glass was let down, and a tall, +thin, pale, grave-looking personage peeped from the aperture. +‘This is Mr. Fax,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘the champion of calm +reason, the indefatigable explorer of the cold clear springs of +knowledge, the bearer of the torch of dispassionate truth, that +gives more light than warmth. He looks on the human world, +the world of mind, the conflict of interests, the collision of +feelings, the infinitely diversified developments of energy and +intelligence, as a mathematician looks on his diagrams, or a +mechanist on his wheels and pulleys, as if they were foreign to +his own nature, and were nothing more than subjects of curious +speculation.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester had not time to say more; for Mr. Fax +entered, and shook hands with him, was introduced in due +form to Sir Telegraph, and sat down to assist in the demolition +of the <em>matériel</em> of breakfast.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Your Redrose Abbey is a beautiful metamorphosis.—I +can scarcely believe that these are the mouldering +walls of the pious fraternity of Rednose, which I contemplated +two years ago.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> The picturesque tourists will owe me no +goodwill for the metamorphosis, though I have endeavoured +to leave them as much mould, mildew, and weather-stain as +possible.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> The exterior has suffered little; it still retains a +truly venerable monastic character.</p> + +<div id='i_057' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_057.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Mr. Fax.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Something monastic in the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_59'>59</span>interior too.—Very orthodox old wine in the cellar, I can tell +you. And the Reverend Father Abbot there, as determined a +bachelor as the Pope.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> If I am so, it is because, like the Squire of +Dames, I seek and cannot find. I see in my mind’s eye the +woman I would choose, but I very much fear that is the only +mode of optics in which she will ever be visible.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> No matter. Bachelors and spinsters I decidedly +venerate. The world is overstocked with featherless bipeds. +More men than corn is a fearful pre-eminence, the sole and +fruitful cause of penury, disease, and war, plague, pestilence, +and famine.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> I hope you will not long have +cause to venerate me. What is life without love? A rosebush +in winter, all thorns, and no flowers.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> And what is it with love? A double-blossomed +cherry, flowers without fruit; if the blossoms last a +month, it is as much as can be expected: they fall, and what +comes in their place? Vanity, and vexation of spirit.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Better vexation than stagnation: +marriage may often be a stormy lake, but celibacy is almost +always a muddy horsepond.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Rather a calm clear river——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Flowing through a desert, where it moves +in loneliness, and reflects no forms of beauty.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> That is not the way to consider the case. +Feelings and poetical images are equally out of place in a calm +philosophical view of human society. Some must marry, that +the world may be peopled: many must abstain, that it may +not be overstocked. <em>Little and good</em> is very applicable in this +case. It is better that the world should have a smaller +number of peaceable and rational inhabitants, living in universal +harmony and social intercourse, than the disproportionate +mass of fools, slaves, coxcombs, thieves, rascals, liars, and cutthroats, +with which its surface is at present encumbered. It +is in vain to declaim about the preponderance of physical and +moral evil, and attribute it, with the Manicheans, to a mythological +principle, or, with some modern philosophers, to the +physical constitution of the globe. The cause of all the evils +of human society is single, obvious, reducible to the most exact +mathematical calculation; and of course susceptible not only +<span class='pageno' id='Page_60'>60</span>of remedy but even of utter annihilation. The cause is the +tendency of population to increase beyond the means of subsistence. +The remedy is an universal social compact, binding +both sexes to equally rigid celibacy, till the prospect of maintaining +the average number of six children be as clear as the +arithmetic of futurity can make it.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> The arithmetic of futurity has been found +in a more than equal number of instances to baffle human +skill. The rapid and sudden mutations of fortune are the +inexhaustible theme of history, poetry, and romance; and they +are found in forms as various and surprising, in the scenes of +daily life, as on the stage of Drury Lane.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> That the best prospects are often overshadowed, +is most certainly true; but there are degrees and modes of +well-grounded reliance on futurity, sufficient to justify the +enterprises of prudence, and equally well-grounded prospiciences +of hopelessness and helplessness, that should check +the steps of rashness and passion, in their headlong progress +to perdition.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You have little cause to complain of the +present age. It is calculating enough to gratify the most +determined votary of moral and political arithmetic. This +certainly is not the time</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>When unrevenged stalks Cocker’s injured ghost.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>What is friendship—except in some most rare and miraculous +instances—but the fictitious bond of interest, or the heartless +intercourse of idleness and vanity? What is love, but the +most venal of all venal commodities? What is marriage, but +the most sordid of bargains, the most cold and slavish of all +the forms of commerce? We want no philosophical ice-rock, +towed into the Dead Sea of modern society, to freeze that +which is too cold already. We want rather the torch of +Prometheus to revivify our frozen spirits. We are a degenerate +race, half-reasoning developments of the principle of infinite +littleness, ‘with hearts in our bodies no bigger than pins’ +heads.’ We are in no danger of forgetting that two and two +make four. There is no fear that the warm impulses of feeling +will ever overpower, with us, the tangible eloquence of the +pocket.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> With relation to the middle and higher classes, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_61'>61</span>you are right in a great measure as to fact, but wrong, as I +think, in the asperity of your censure. But among the lower +orders the case is quite different. The baleful influence of the +poor laws has utterly destroyed the principle of calculation in +them. They marry by wholesale, without scruple or compunction, +and commit the future care of their family to Providence +and the overseer. They marry even in the workhouse, +and convert the intended asylum of age and infirmity into a +flourishing manufactory of young beggars and vagabonds.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Sir Telegraph’s barouche rolled up gracefully to the door. +Mr. Forester pressed him to stay another day, but Sir +Telegraph’s plea of urgency was not to be overcome. He +promised very shortly to revisit Redrose Abbey, shook hands +with Mr. Forester and Sir Oran, bowed politely to Mr. Fax, +mounted his box, and disappeared among the trees.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Those four horses,’ said Mr. Fax, as the carriage rolled +away, ‘consume the subsistence of eight human beings, for the +foolish amusement of one. As Solomon observes: “This is +vanity, and a great evil.”’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Sir Telegraph is thoughtless,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘but he +has a good heart and a good natural capacity. I have great +hopes of him. He had some learning, when he went to +college; but he was cured of it before he came away. Great, +indeed, must be the zeal for improvement which an academical +education cannot extinguish.’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_62'>62</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER VIII<br> <span class='c013'>THE SPIRIT OF CHIVALRY</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Sir Telegraph was welcomed to Melincourt in due form by +Mr. Hippy, and in a private interview with the Honourable +Mrs. Pinmoney, was exhorted to persevere in his suit to +Anthelia, though she could not flatter him with very strong +hopes of immediate success, the young lady’s notions being, +as she observed, extremely outré and fantastical, but such as +she had no doubt time and experience would cure. She informed +him at the same time, that he would shortly meet a +formidable rival, no less a personage than Lord Anophel +Achthar,<a id='r26'></a><a href='#f26' class='c012'><sup>[26]</sup></a> son and heir of the Marquis of Agaric<a id='r27'></a><a href='#f27' class='c012'><sup>[27]</sup></a> who was +somewhat in favour with Mr. Hippy, and seemed determined +at all hazards to carry his point; ‘and with any other girl +than Anthelia,’ said Mrs. Pinmoney, ‘considering his title and +fortune, I should pronounce his success infallible, unless a +duke were to make his appearance.’ She added, ‘The young +lord would be accompanied by his tutor, the Reverend Mr. +Grovelgrub, and by a celebrated poet, Mr. Feathernest, to +whom the Marquis had recently given a place in exchange for +his conscience. It was thought by Mr. Feathernest’s friends +that he had made a very good bargain. The poet had, in +consequence, burned his old <cite>Odes to Truth and Liberty</cite>, and +had published a volume of Panegyrical Addresses “to all the +crowned heads in Europe,” with the motto, “Whatever is at +court, is right.”’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The dinner-party that day at Melincourt Castle consisted of +<span class='pageno' id='Page_63'>63</span>Mr. Hippy, in the character of lord of the mansion; Anthelia, +in that of his inmate; Mrs. and Miss Pinmoney, as her +visitors; and Sir Telegraph, as the visitor of Mrs. Pinmoney, +seconded by Mr. Hippy’s invitation to stay. Nothing very +luminous passed on this occasion.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The fame of Mr. Hippy, and his hospitable office, was +rapidly diffused by Dr. Killquick, the physician of the district; +who thought a draught or pill could not possibly be efficacious, +unless administered with an anecdote, and who was called in, +in a very few hours after Mr. Hippy’s arrival, to cure the +hypochondriacal old gentleman of an imaginary swelling in his +elbow. The learned doctor, who had studied with peculiar care +the symptoms, diagnostics, prognostics, sedatives, lenitives, +and sanatives of hypochondriasis, had arrived at the sagacious +conclusion that the most effectual method of curing an imaginary +disease was to give the patient a real one; and he accordingly +sent Mr. Hippy a pint bottle of mixture, to be taken by +a tablespoonful every two hours, which would have infallibly +accomplished the purpose, but that the bottle was cracked +over the head of Harry Fell, for treading on his master’s toe, +as he presented the composing potion, which would perhaps +have composed him in the Roman sense.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The fashionable attractions of Low-Wood and Keswick +afforded facilities to some of Anthelia’s lovers to effect a +<em>logement</em> in her neighbourhood, from whence occasionally +riding over to Melincourt Castle, they were hospitably received +by the lord seneschal, Humphrey Hippy, Esquire, who often +made them fixed stars in the circumference of that jovial +system, of which the bottle and glasses are the sun and +planets, till it was too late to dislodge for the night; by which +means they sometimes contrived to pass several days together +at the Castle.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The gentlemen in question were Lord Anophel Achthar, +with his two parasites, Mr. Feathernest and the Reverend Mr. +Grovelgrub; Harum O’Scarum, Esquire, the sole proprietor of +a vast tract of undrained bog in the county of Kerry; and Mr. +Derrydown, the only son of an old lady in London, who having +in vain solicited a visit from Anthelia, had sent off her hopeful +progeny to try his fortune in Westmoreland. Mr. Derrydown +had received a laborious education, and had consumed a great +quantity of midnight oil over ponderous tomes of ancient and +<span class='pageno' id='Page_64'>64</span>modern learning, particularly of moral, political, and metaphysical +philosophy, ancient and modern. His lucubrations +in the latter branch of science having conducted him, as he +conceived, into the central opacity of utter darkness, he formed +a hasty conclusion ‘that all human learning is vanity’; and +one day, in a listless mood, taking down a volume of the +<cite>Reliques of Ancient Poetry</cite>, he found, or fancied he found, +in the plain language of the old English ballad, glimpses of +the truth of things, which he had vainly sought in the vast +volumes of philosophical disquisition. In consequence of this +luminous discovery, he locked up his library, purchased a +travelling chariot, with a shelf in the back, which he filled with +collections of ballads and popular songs; and passed the +greater part of every year in posting about the country, for +the purpose, as he expressed it, of studying together poetry and +the peasantry, unsophisticated nature and the truth of things.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Hippy introduced Lord Anophel, and his two learned +friends, to Sir Telegraph and Mrs. and Miss Pinmoney. Mr. +Feathernest whispered to the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub, ‘This +Sir Telegraph Paxarett has some good livings in his gift’; +which bent the plump figure of the reverend gentleman into a +very orthodox right angle.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Anthelia, who felt no inclination to show particular favour +to any one of her Strephons, was not sorry to escape the evil +of a solitary persecutor, more especially as they so far resembled +the suitors of Penelope, as to eat and drink together with great +cordiality. She could have wished, when she left them to the +congenial society of Bacchus, to have retired to company more +congenial to her than that of Mrs. Pinmoney and Miss +Danaretta; but she submitted to the course of necessity with +the best possible grace.</p> + +<p class='c007'>She explicitly made known to all her suitors her ideas on +the subject of marriage. She had never perverted the simplicity +of her mind by indulging in the usual cant of young +ladies, that she should prefer a single life: but she assured +them that the spirit of the age of chivalry, manifested in the +forms of modern life, would constitute the only character on +which she could fix her affections.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Lord Anophel was puzzled, and applied for information to +his tutor. ‘Grovelgrub,’ said he, ‘what is the spirit of the +age of chivalry?’</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_65'>65</span>‘Really, my lord,’ said the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub, ‘my +studies never lay that way.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘True,’ said Lord Anophel; ‘it was not necessary to your +degree.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>His lordship’s next recourse was to Mr. Feathernest. +‘Feathernest, what is the spirit of the age of chivalry?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Feathernest was taken by surprise. Since his profitable +metamorphosis into an <em>ami du prince</em>, he had never dreamed +of such a question. It burst upon him like the spectre of his +youthful integrity, and he mumbled a half-intelligible reply +about truth and liberty—disinterested benevolence—self-oblivion—heroic +devotion to love and honour—protection of +the feeble, and subversion of tyranny.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘All the ingredients of a rank Jacobin, Feathernest, ‘pon +honour!’ exclaimed his lordship.</p> + +<p class='c007'>There was something in the word Jacobin very grating to +the ears of Mr. Feathernest, and he feared he had thrown +himself between the horns of a dilemma; but from all such +predicament he was happily provided with an infallible means +of extrication. His friend Mr. Mystic, of Cimmerian Lodge, +had initiated him in some of the mysteries of the transcendental +philosophy, which on this, as all similar occasions, he called in +to his assistance; and overwhelmed his lordship with a volley +of ponderous jargon, which left him in profound astonishment +at the depth of Mr. Feathernest’s knowledge.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The spirit of the age of chivalry!’ soliloquised Mr. +O’Scarum; ‘I think I know what that is: I’ll shoot all my +rivals, one after another, as fast as I can find a decent pretext +for picking a quarrel. I’ll write to my friend Major O’Dogskin +to come to Low-Wood Inn, and hold himself in readiness. He +is the neatest hand in Ireland at delivering a challenge.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The spirit of the age of chivalry!’ soliloquised Mr. Derrydown; +‘I think I am at home there. I will be a knight of +the round table. I will be Sir Lancelot, or Sir Gawaine, or +Sir Tristram. No: I will be a troubadour—a love-lorn minstrel. +I will write the most irresistible ballads in praise of the +beautiful Anthelia. She shall be my lady of the lake. We +will sail about Ulleswater in our pinnace, and sing duets about +Merlin, and King Arthur, and Fairyland. I will develop the +idea to her in a ballad; it cannot fail to fascinate her romantic +spirit.’ And he sat down to put his scheme in execution.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_66'>66</span>Sir Telegraph’s head ran on tilts and tournaments, and +trials of skill and courage. How could they be resolved into +the forms of modern life? A four-in-hand race he thought +would be a pretty substitute; Anthelia to be arbitress of the +contest, and place the Olympic wreath on the head of the victor, +which he had no doubt would be himself, though Harum +O’Scarum, Esquire, would dash through neck or nothing, and +Lord Anophel Achthar was reckoned one of the best coachmen +in England.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_67'>67</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER IX<br> <span class='c013'>THE PHILOSOPHY OF BALLADS</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The very indifferent success of Lord Anophel did not escape +the eye of his abject slave, the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub, whose +vanity led him to misinterpret Anthelia’s general sweetness of +manner into the manifestation of something like a predilection +for himself. Having made this notable discovery, he sat +down to calculate the probability of his chance of Miss Melincourt’s +fortune on the one hand, and the certainty of church-preferment, +through the patronage of the Marquis of Agaric, +on the other. The sagacious reflection, that a bird in the +hand was worth two in the bush, determined him not to risk +the loss of the Marquis’s favour for the open pursuit of a +doubtful success; but he resolved to carry on a secret attack +on the affections of Anthelia, and not to throw off the mask to +Lord Anophel till he could make sure of his prize.</p> + +<p class='c007'>It would have totally disconcerted the schemes of the +Honourable Mrs. Pinmoney, if Lord Anophel had made any +progress in the favour of Anthelia—not only because she had +made up her mind that her young friend should be her niece +and Lady Paxarett, but because, from the moment of Lord +Anophel’s appearance, she determined on drawing lines of +circumvallation round him, to compel him to surrender at +discretion to her dear Danaretta, who was very willing to second +her views. That Lord Anophel was both a fool and a coxcomb, +did not strike her at all as an objection; on the contrary, she +considered them as very favourable circumstances for the facilitation +of her design.</p> + +<p class='c007'>As Anthelia usually passed the morning in the seclusion of +her library Lord Anophel and the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub +killed the time in shooting; Sir Telegraph, in driving Mrs. and +<span class='pageno' id='Page_68'>68</span>Miss Pinmoney in his barouche, to astonish the natives of the +mountain-villages; Harum O’Scarum, Esquire, in riding full +gallop along the best roads, looking every now and then at his +watch, to see how time went; Mr. Derrydown, in composing +his troubadour ballad; Mr. Feathernest, in writing odes to all +the crowned heads in Europe; and Mr. Hippy, in getting very +ill after breakfast every day of a new disease, which came to +its climax at the intermediate point of time between breakfast +and dinner, showed symptoms of great amendment at the ringing +of the first dinner-bell, was very much alleviated at the +butler’s summons, vanished entirely at the sight of Anthelia, +and was consigned to utter oblivion after the ladies retired +from table, when the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub lent his clerical +assistance to lay its ghost in the Red Sea of a copious libation +of claret.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Music and conversation consumed the evenings. Mr. +Feathernest and Mr. Derrydown were both zealous admirers +of old English literature; but the former was chiefly enraptured +with the ecclesiastical writers and the translation of the Bible; +the latter admired nothing but ballads, which he maintained +to be, whether ancient or modern, the only manifestations +of feeling and thought containing any vestige of truth and +nature.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Surely,’ said Mr. Feathernest one evening, ‘you will not +maintain that Chevy Chase is a finer poem than Paradise +Lost?’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Derrydown.</em> I do not know what you mean by a fine +poem; but I will maintain that it gives a much deeper insight +into the truth of things.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> I do not know what you mean by the +truth of things.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> Define, gentlemen, define; let +the one explain what he means by a fine poem, and the other +what he means by the truth of things.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> A fine poem is a luminous development +of the complicated machinery of action and passion, exalted by +sublimity, softened by pathos, irradiated with scenes of magnificence, +figures of loveliness, and characters of energy, and +harmonised with infinite variety of melodious combination.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> Admirable!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Miss Danaretta Contantina Pinmoney.</em> Admirable, indeed, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_69'>69</span>my lord! (<em>With a sweet smile at his Lordship, which unluckily +missed fire.</em>)</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> Now, sir, for the truth of +things.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. O’Scarum.</em> Troth, sir, that is the last point about +which I should expect a gentleman of your cloth to be very +solicitous.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> I must say, sir, that is a very +uncalled-for and very illiberal observation.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. O’Scarum.</em> Your coat is your protection, sir.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> I will appeal to his lordship +if——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. O’Scarum.</em> I shall be glad to know his lordship’s +opinion.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> Really, sir, I have no opinion on +the subject.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. O’Scarum.</em> I am sorry for it, my lord.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Derrydown.</em> The truth of things is nothing more than +an exact view of the necessary relations between object and +subject, in all the modes of reflection and sentiment which +constitute the reciprocities of human association.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> I must confess I do not exactly +comprehend——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Derrydown.</em> I will illustrate. You all know the ballad +of Old Robin Gray.</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Young Jamie loved me well, and ask’d me for his bride;</div> + <div class='line'>But saving a crown, he had nothing else beside.</div> + <div class='line'>To make the crown a pound my Jamie went to sea,</div> + <div class='line'>And the crown and the pound they were both for me.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>He had not been gone a twelvemonth and a day,</div> + <div class='line'>When my father broke his arm, and our cow was stolen away;</div> + <div class='line'>My mother she fell sick, and Jamie at the sea,</div> + <div class='line'>And old Robin Gray came a-courting to me.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>In consequence whereof, as you all very well know, old Robin +being rich, the damsel married the aforesaid old Robin.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> In the heterodox kirk of the +north?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Derrydown.</em> Precisely. Now, in this short space, +you have a more profound view than the deepest metaphysical +treatise or the most elaborate history can give you of the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_70'>70</span>counteracting power of opposite affections, the conflict of duties +and inclinations, the omnipotence of interest, tried by the test +of extremity, and the supreme and irresistible dominion of +universal moral necessity.</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Young Jamie loved me well, and ask’d me for his bride;</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>and would have had her, it is clear, though she does not explicitly +say so, if there had not been a necessary moral motive +counteracting what would have been otherwise the plain free +will of both. ‘Young Jamie loved me well.’ She does not +say that she loved young Jamie; and here is a striking illustration +of that female decorum which forbids young ladies to +speak as they think on any subject whatever: an admirable +political institution, which has been found by experience to be +most happily conducive to that ingenuousness of mind and +simplicity of manner which constitute so striking a charm in +the generality of the fair sex.</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>But saving a crown, he had nothing else beside.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>Here is the quintessence of all that has been said and written +on the subject of love and prudence, a decisive refutation of +the stoical doctrine that poverty is no evil, a very clear and +deep insight into the nature of the preventive or prudential +check to population, and a particularly luminous view of the +respective conduct of the two sexes on similar occasions. The +poor love-stricken swain, it seems, is ready to sacrifice all for +love. He comes with a crown in his pocket, and asks for his +bride. The damsel is a better arithmetician. She is fully +impressed with the truth of the old proverb about poverty +coming in at the door, and immediately stops him short with +‘What can you settle on me, Master Jamie?’ or, as Captain +Bobadil would express it, ‘How much money ha’ you about +you, Master Matthew?’ Poor Jamie looks very foolish—fumbles +in his pocket—produces his crown-piece—and answers +like Master Matthew with a remarkable elongation of visage, +‘’Faith, I ha’n’t past a five shillings or so.’ ‘Then,’ says the +young lady, in the words of another very admirable ballad—where +you will observe it is also the damsel who asks the +question:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Will the love that you’re so rich in,</div> + <div class='line'>Make a fire in the kitchen?</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div id='i_072' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_72'>72</span> +<img src='images/i_072.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Anthelia.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_73'>73</span>On which the poor lover shakes his head, and the lady gives +him leave of absence. Hereupon Jamie falls into a train of +reflections.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. O’Scarum.</em> Never mind his reflections.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Derrydown.</em> The result of which is, that he goes to +seek his fortune at sea; intending, with the most perfect and +disinterested affection, to give all he can get to his mistress, +who seems much pleased with the idea of having it. But +when he comes back, as you will see in the sequel, he finds +his mistress married to a rich old man. The detail of the +circumstances abounds with vast and luminous views of human +nature and society, and striking illustrations of the truth of +things.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> I do not yet see that the illustration +throws any light on the definition, or that we are at all +advanced in the answer to the question concerning Chevy +Chase and Paradise Lost.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Derrydown.</em> We will examine Chevy Chase, then, +with a view to the truth of things, instead of Old Robin Gray:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>God prosper long our noble king,</div> + <div class='line'>Our lives and safeties all.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. O’Scarum.</em> God prosper us all, indeed! if you are +going through Chevy Chase at the same rate as you were +through Old Robin Gray, there is an end of us all for a month. +The truth of things, now!—is it that you’re looking for? +Ask Miss Melincourt to touch the harp. The harp is the +great key to the truth of things: and in the hand of Miss +Melincourt it will teach you the music of the spheres, the concord +of creation, and the harmony of the universe.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> You are a libeller of our sex, Mr. Derrydown, +if you think the truth of things consists in showing it to be +more governed by the meanest species of self-interest than +yours. Few, indeed, are the individuals of either in whom the +spirit of the age of chivalry survives.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Derrydown.</em> And yet, a man distinguished by that +spirit would not be in society what Miss Melincourt is—a +phoenix. Many knights can wield the sword of Orlando, but +only one nymph can wear the girdle of Florimel.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> That would be a very pretty +compliment, Mr. Derrydown, if there were no other ladies in +the room.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_74'>74</span>Poor Mr. Derrydown looked a little disconcerted: he felt +conscious that he had on this occasion lost sight of his usual +politeness by too close an adherence to the truth of things.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> Both sexes, I am afraid, are too much influenced +by the spirit of mercenary calculation. The desire of competence +is prudence; but the desire of more than competence +is avarice: it is against the latter only that moral censure +should be directed: but I fear that in ninety-nine cases out of +a hundred in which the course of true love is thwarted by considerations +of fortune, it will be found that avarice rather than +prudence is to be considered as the cause. Love in the age +of chivalry, and love in the age of commerce, are certainly two +very different deities; so much so, that the former may almost +be regarded as a departed power; and, perhaps, the little +ballad I am about to sing does not contain too severe an +allegory in placing the tomb of chivalric love among the ruins +of the castles of romance.</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in8'>THE TOMB OF LOVE</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>By the mossy weed-flower’d column,</div> + <div class='line in2'>Where the setting moonbeam’s glance</div> + <div class='line'>Streams a radiance cold and solemn</div> + <div class='line in2'>On the haunts of old romance:</div> + <div class='line'>Know’st thou what those shafts betoken,</div> + <div class='line in2'>Scatter’d on that tablet lone,</div> + <div class='line'>Where the ivory bow lies broken</div> + <div class='line in2'>By the monumental stone!</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>When true knighthood’s shield, neglected,</div> + <div class='line in2'>Moulder’d in the empty hall;</div> + <div class='line'>When the charms that shield protected</div> + <div class='line in2'>Slept in death’s eternal thrall;</div> + <div class='line'>When chivalric glory perish’d</div> + <div class='line in2'>Like the pageant of a dream,</div> + <div class='line'>Love in vain its memory cherish’d,</div> + <div class='line in2'>Fired in vain the minstrel’s theme.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Falsehood to an elfish minion</div> + <div class='line in2'>Did the form of Love impart;</div> + <div class='line'>Cunning plumed its vampire pinion;</div> + <div class='line in2'>Avarice tipp’d its golden dart.</div> + <div class='line'>Love, the hideous phantom flying,</div> + <div class='line in2'>Hither came, no more to rove:</div> + <div class='line'>There his broken bow is lying</div> + <div class='line in2'>On that stone—the tomb of Love!</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_75'>75</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER X<br> <span class='c013'>THE TORRENT</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Anthelia did not wish to condemn herself to celibacy, but in +none of her present suitors could she discover any trace of the +character she had drawn in her mind for the companion of her +life: yet she was aware of the rashness of precipitate judgments, +and willing to avail herself of this opportunity of studying +the kind of beings that constitute modern society. She +was happy in the long interval between breakfast and dinner, +to retire to the seclusion of her favourite apartment; whence +she sometimes wandered into the shades of her shrubbery: +sometimes passing onward through a little postern door, she +descended a flight of rugged steps, which had been cut in the +solid stone, into the gloomy glen of the torrent that dashed +round the base of the castle-rock; and following a lonely path +through the woods that fringed its sides, wandered into the +deepest recesses of mountain solitude. The sunshine of a +fine autumnal day, the solemn beauty of the fading woods, the +thin gray mist, that spread waveless over the mountains, the +silence of the air, the deep stillness of nature, broken only by +the sound of the eternal streams, tempted her on one occasion +beyond her usual limits.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Passing over the steep and wood-fringed hills of rock that +formed the boundary of the valley of Melincourt, she descended +through a grove of pines into a romantic chasm, where a foaming +stream was crossed by a rude and ancient bridge, consisting +of two distinct parts, each of which rested against a +columnar rock, that formed an island in the roaring waters. +An ash had fixed its roots in the fissures of the rock, and the +knotted base of its aged trunk offered to the passenger a +natural seat, over-canopied with its beautiful branches and +<span class='pageno' id='Page_76'>76</span>leaves, now tinged with their autumnal yellow. Anthelia +rested awhile in this delightful solitude. There was no breath +of wind, no song of birds, no humming of insects, only the +dashing of the waters beneath. She felt the presence of the +genius of the scene. She sat absorbed in a train of contemplations, +dimly defined, but infinitely delightful: emotions +rather than thoughts, which attention would have utterly +dissipated, if it had paused to seize their images.</p> + +<p class='c007'>She was roused from her reverie by sounds of music, issuing +from the grove of pines through which she had just passed, +and which skirted the hollow. The notes were wild and +irregular, but their effect was singular and pleasing. They +ceased. Anthelia looked to the spot from whence they had +proceeded, and saw, or thought she saw, a face peeping at her +through the trees; but the glimpse was momentary. There +was in the expression of the countenance something so extraordinary, +that she almost felt convinced her imagination had +created it; yet her imagination was not in the habit of creating +such physiognomies. She could not, however, apprehend that +this remarkable vision portended any evil to her; for, if so, +alone and defenceless as she was, why should it be deferred? +She rose, therefore, to pursue her walk, and ascended, by a +narrow winding path, the brow of a lofty hill, which sank +precipitously on the other side, to the margin of a lake, that +seemed to slumber in the same eternal stillness as the rocks +that bordered it. The murmur of the torrent was inaudible at +that elevation. There was an almost oppressive silence in the +air. The motion and life of nature seemed suspended. The +gray mist that hung on the mountains, spreading its thin +transparent uniform veil over the whole surrounding scene, +gave a deeper impression to the mystery of loneliness, the +predominant feeling that pressed on the mind of Anthelia, to +seem the only thing that lived and moved in all that wide and +awful scene of beauty.</p> + +<div id='i_078' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_078.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Proceeded very deliberately to pull up a pine.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>Suddenly the gray mist fled before the rising wind, and a +deep black line of clouds appeared in the west, that, rising +rapidly, volume on volume, obscured in a few minutes the +whole face of the heavens. There was no interval of preparation, +no notice for retreat. The rain burst down in a sheeted +cataract, comparable only to the bursting of a waterspout. +The sides of the mountains gleamed at once with a thousand +<span class='pageno' id='Page_79'>79</span>torrents. Every little hollow and rain-worn channel, which +but a few minutes before was dry, became instantaneously the +bed of a foaming stream. Every half-visible rivulet swelled to +a powerful and turbid river. Anthelia glided down the hill +like an Oread, but the wet and slippery footing of the steep +descent necessarily retarded her progress. When she regained +the bridge, the swollen torrent had filled the chasm beneath, +and was still rising like a rapid and impetuous tide, rushing +and roaring along with boiling tumult and inconceivable swiftness. +She had passed one half of the bridge—she had gained +the insular rock—a few steps would have placed her on the +other side of the chasm—when a large trunk of an oak, which +months, perhaps years, before had baffled the woodman’s skill, +and fallen into the dingle above, now disengaged by the flood, +and hurled onward with irresistible strength, with large and +projecting boughs towering high above the surface, struck the +arch she had yet to pass, which, shattered into instant ruin, +seemed to melt like snow into the torrent, leaving scarcely a +vestige of its place.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Anthelia followed the trunk with her eyes till it disappeared +among the rocks, and stood gazing on the torrent with feelings +of awful delight. The contemplation of the mighty energies +of nature, energies of liberty and power which nothing could +resist or impede, absorbed, for a time, all considerations of +the difficulty of regaining her home. The water continued to +rise, but still she stood riveted to the spot, watching with +breathless interest its tumultuous revolutions. She dreamed +not that its increasing pressure was mining the foundation of +the arch she had passed. She was roused from her reverie +only by the sound of its dissolution. She looked back, and +found herself on the solitary rock insulated by the swelling +flood.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Would the flood rise above the level of the rock? The ash +must in that case be her refuge. Could the force of the +torrent rend its massy roots from the rocky fissures which +grasped them with giant strength? Nothing could seem less +likely: yet it was not impossible. But she had always looked +with calmness on the course of necessity: she felt that she +was always in the order of nature. Though her life had been +a series of uniform prosperity, she had considered deeply the +changes of things, and <em>the nearness of the paths of night and +<span class='pageno' id='Page_80'>80</span>day</em><a id='r28'></a><a href='#f28' class='c012'><sup>[28]</sup></a> in every pursuit and circumstance of human life. She +sat on the stem of the ash. The torrent rolled almost at her +feet. Could this be the calm sweet scene of the morning, the +ivied bridges, the romantic chasm, the stream far below, bright +in its bed of rocks, chequered by the pale sunbeams through +the leaves of the ash?</p> + +<p class='c007'>She looked towards the pine-grove, through which she had +descended in the morning; she thought of the wild music she +had heard, and of the strange face that had appeared among +the trees. Suddenly it appeared again: and shortly after a +stranger issuing from the wood ran with surprising speed to +the edge of the chasm.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Anthelia had never seen so singular a physiognomy; but +there was nothing in it to cause alarm. The stranger seemed +interested for her situation, and made gestures expressive of a +design to assist her. He paused a moment, as if measuring +with his eyes the breadth of the chasm, and then, returning to +the grove, proceeded very deliberately to pull up a pine.<a id='r29'></a><a href='#f29' class='c012'><sup>[29]</sup></a> +Anthelia thought him mad; but infinite was her astonishment +to see the tree sway and bend beneath the efforts of his incredible +strength, till at length he tore it from the soil, and +bore it on his shoulders to the chasm: where placing one end +on a high point of the bank, and lowering the other on the +insulated rock, he ran like a flash of lightning along the stem, +caught Anthelia in his arms, and carried her safely over in an +instant: not that we should wish the reader to suppose our +heroine, a mountaineer from her infancy, could not have +crossed a pine-bridge without such assistance; but the stranger +gave her no time to try the experiment.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The remarkable physiognomy and unparalleled strength of +the stranger caused much of surprise, and something of +apprehension to mingle with Anthelia’s gratitude: but the air +of high fashion which characterised his whole deportment +<span class='pageno' id='Page_83'>83</span>diminished her apprehension, while it increased her surprise at +the exploit he had performed.</p> + +<div id='i_082' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_082.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Alighted on the doctor’s head as he was crossing the court.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>Shouts were now heard in the wood, from which shortly +emerged Mr. Hippy, Lord Anophel Achthar, and the Reverend +Mr. Grovelgrub. Anthelia had been missed at Melincourt at +the commencement of the storm, and Mr. Hippy had been +half distracted on the occasion. The whole party had in consequence +dispersed in various directions in search of her, and +accident had directed these three gentlemen to the spot where +Anthelia was just set down by her polite deliverer, Sir Oran +Haut-ton, Baronet.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Hippy ran up with great alacrity to Anthelia, assuring +her that at the time when Miss Danaretta Contantina Pinmoney +informed him his dear niece was missing, he was suffering +under a complete paralysis of his right leg, and was on the +point of swallowing a potion sent to him by Dr. Killquick, +which, on receiving the alarming intelligence, he had thrown +out of the window, and he believed it had alighted on the +doctor’s head as he was crossing the court. Anthelia communicated +to him the particulars of the signal service she had +received from the stranger, whom Mr. Hippy stared at heartily, +and shook hands with cordially.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Lord Anophel now came up, and surveyed Sir Oran +through his quizzing-glass, who, making him a polite bow, took +his quizzing-glass from him, and examined him through it in the +same manner. Lord Anophel flew into a furious passion; but +receiving a gentle hint from Mr. Hippy, that the gentleman to +whom he was talking had just pulled up a pine, he deemed it +prudent to restrain his anger within due bounds.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub now rolled up to the party, +muffled in a ponderous greatcoat, and surmounted with an +enormous umbrella, humbly soliciting Miss Melincourt to +take shelter. Anthelia assured him that she was so completely +wet through, as to render all shelter superfluous, till she could +change her clothes. On this, Mr. Hippy, who was wet through +himself, but had not till that moment been aware that he was +so, voted for returning to Melincourt with all possible expedition; +adding that he feared it would be necessary, immediately +on their arrival, to send off an express for Dr. Killquick, for +his dear Anthelia’s sake, as well as his own. Anthelia +disclaimed any intention or necessity on her part of calling in +<span class='pageno' id='Page_84'>84</span>the services of the learned doctor, and, turning to Sir Oran, +requested the favour of his company to dinner at Melincourt. +This invitation was warmly seconded by Mr. Hippy, with +gestures as well as words. Sir Oran bowed acknowledgment, +but pointing in a direction different from that of Melincourt, +shook his head, and took a respectful farewell.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I wonder who he is,’ said Mr. Hippy, as they walked +rapidly homewards: ‘manifestly dumb, poor fellow! a man of +consequence, no doubt: no great beauty, by the bye; but as +strong as Hercules—quite an Orlando Furioso. He pulled up +a pine, my lord, as you would do a mushroom.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Sir,’ said Lord Anophel, ‘I have nothing to do with +mushrooms; and as to this gentleman, whoever he is, I must +say, notwithstanding his fashionable air, his taking my quizzing-glass +was a piece of impertinence, for which I shall feel +necessitated to require gentlemanly satisfaction.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>A long, toilsome, and slippery walk brought the party to the +castle gate.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_85'>85</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XI<br> <span class='c013'>LOVE AND MARRIAGE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Sir Oran Haut-ton, as we conjecture, had taken a very long +ramble beyond the limits of Redrose Abbey, and had sat down +in the pine-grove to solace himself with his flute, when Anthelia, +bursting upon him like a beautiful vision, riveted him in silent +admiration to the spot whence she departed, about which he +lingered in hopes of her reappearance, till the accident which +occurred on her return enabled him to exert his extraordinary +physical strength in a manner so remarkably advantageous to +her. On parting from her and her companions, he ran back +all the way to the Abbey, a formidable distance, and relieved +the anxious apprehensions which his friend Mr. Forester entertained +respecting him.</p> + +<p class='c007'>A few mornings after this occurrence, as Mr. Forester, Mr. +Fax, and Sir Oran were sitting at breakfast, a letter was +brought in, addressed to <em>Sir Oran Haut-ton, Baronet, Redrose +Abbey</em>; a circumstance which very much surprised Mr. +Forester, as he could not imagine how Sir Oran had obtained +a correspondent, seeing that he could neither write nor read. +He accordingly took the liberty of opening the letter himself.</p> + +<p class='c007'>It proved to be from a limb of the law, signing himself +Richard Ratstail, and purporting to be a notice to Sir Oran to +defend himself in an action brought against him by the said +Richard Ratstail, solicitor, in behalf of his client, Lawrence +Litigate, Esquire, lord of the manor of Muckwormsby, for that +he, the said Oran Haut-ton, did, with force and arms, videlicet, +sword, pistols, daggers, bludgeons, and staves, break into the +manor of the said Lawrence Litigate, Esquire, and did then +and there, with malice aforethought, and against the peace of +our sovereign lord the King, his crown and dignity, cut down, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_86'>86</span>root up, hew, hack, and cut in pieces, sundry and several pine-trees, +of various sizes and dimensions, to the utter ruin, havoc, +waste, and devastation of a large tract of pine-land; and that +he had wilfully, maliciously, and with intent to injure the +said Lawrence Litigate, Esquire, carried off with force and +arms, namely, swords, pistols, bludgeons, daggers, and staves, +fifty cartloads of trunks, fifty cartloads of bark, fifty cartloads +of loppings, and fifty cartloads of toppings.</p> + +<p class='c007'>This was a complete enigma to Mr. Forester; and his +surprise was increased when, on reading further, he found that +Miss Melincourt, of Melincourt Castle, was implicated in the +affair, as having aided and abetted Sir Oran in devastating the +pine-grove, and carrying it off by cartloads with force and arms.</p> + +<p class='c007'>It immediately occurred to him that the best mode he could +adopt of elucidating the mystery would be to call on Miss +Melincourt, whom, besides, Sir Telegraph’s enthusiastic description +had given him some curiosity to see; and the present +appeared a favourable opportunity to indulge it.</p> + +<p class='c007'>He therefore asked Mr. Fax if he were disposed for a very +long walk. Mr. Fax expressed a cordial assent to the proposal, +and no time was lost in preparation.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester, though he had built stables for the accommodation +of his occasional visitors, kept no horses himself, for +reasons which will appear hereafter.</p> + +<p class='c007'>They set forth accordingly, accompanied by Sir Oran, who +joined them without waiting for an invitation.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘We shall see Sir Telegraph Paxarett,’ said Mr. Forester, +‘and, perhaps, his phoenix, Miss Melincourt.’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> If a woman be the object, and a lover’s eyes +the medium, I should say there is nothing in nature so easily +found as a phoenix.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> My eyes have no such magical property. +I am not a lover, it is true, but it is because I have never +found a phoenix.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> But you have one in your mind, a <em>beau ideal</em>, I +doubt not.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Not too ideal to exclude the possible existence +of its material archetype, though I have never found it yet.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> You will, however, find a female who has some +one at least of the qualities of your imaginary damsel, and that +one quality will serve as a peg on which your imagination will +<span class='pageno' id='Page_87'>87</span>suspend all the others. This is the usual process of mental +hallucination. A little truth forms the basis, and the whole +superstructure is falsehood.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I shall guard carefully against such self-deception; +though, perhaps, a beautiful chimera is better than +either a hideous reality or a vast and formless void.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> As an instrument of transitory pleasure, +probably; but very far from it as a means of permanent happiness, +which is only consistent with perfect mental tranquillity, +which again is only consistent with the calm and dispassionate +contemplation of truth.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> What say you, then, to the sentiment of +Voltaire?—</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><span lang="fr">Le raisonneur tristement s’accrédite:</span></div> + <div class='line'><span lang="fr">On court, dit-on, après la vérité,</span></div> + <div class='line'><span lang="fr">Ah! croyez-moi, l’erreur a son mérite.</span></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> You will scarcely coincide with such a sentiment, +when you consider how much this doctrine of happy errors, +and pleasing illusions, and salutary prejudices, has tended to +rivet the chains of superstition on the necks of the grovelling +multitude.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> And yet, if you take the colouring of +imagination from the objects of our mental perception, and +pour the full blaze of daylight into all the dark recesses of +selfishness and cunning, I am afraid a refined and enthusiastic +benevolence will find little to interest or delight in the contemplation +of the human world.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> That should rather be considered the consequence +of morbid feelings, and exaggerated expectations of +society and human nature. It is the false colouring in which +youthful enthusiasm depicts the scenes of futurity that throws +the gloom of disappointment so deeply on their actual presence. +You have formed to yourself, as you acknowledge, a visionary +model of female perfection, which has rendered you utterly +insensible to the real attractions of every woman you have +seen. This exaggerated imagination loses more than it gains. +It has not made a fair calculation of the mixture of good and +evil in every constituent portion of the world of reality. It +has utterly excluded the latter from the objects of its hope, +and has magnified the former into such gigantic proportions, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_88'>88</span>that the real goodness and beauty, which would be visible and +delightful to simpler optics, vanish into imperceptibility in the +infinity of their diminution.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I desire no phantasm of abstract perfection—no +visionary creation of a romantic philosophy: I seek no +more than I know to have existed—than, I doubt not, does +exist, though in such lamentable rarity that the calculations of +probability make the search little better than desperate. I +would have a woman that can love and feel poetry, not only in +its harmony and decorations, which limit the admiration of +ordinary mortals, but in the deep sources of love, and liberty, +and truth, which are its only legitimate springs, and without +which, well-turned periods and glittering images are nothing +more nor less than the vilest and most mischievous tinsel. She +should be musical, but she should have music in her soul as +well as her fingers: her voice and her touch should have no one +point in common with that mechanical squalling and jingling +which are commonly dignified with the insulted name of +music: they should be modes of the harmony of her mind.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> I do not very well understand that; but I think +I have a glimpse of your meaning. Pray proceed.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> She should have charity—not penny +charity——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> I hope not.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> But a liberal discriminating practical +philanthropy, that can select with justice the objects of its +kindness, and give that kindness a form of permanence equally +delightful and useful to its object and to society, by increasing +the aggregate mass of intelligence and happiness.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Go on.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> She should have no taste for what are called +public pleasures. Her pleasures should be bounded in the +circle of her family, and a few, a very few congenial friends, her +books, her music, her flowers—she should delight in flowers—the +uninterrupted cheerfulness of domestic concord, the +delightful effusions of unlimited confidence. The rocks, and +woods, and mountains, boundaries of the valley of her dwelling, +she should be content to look on as the boundaries of the +world.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Anything more?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> She should have a clear perception of the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_89'>89</span>beauty of truth. Every species of falsehood, even in +sportiveness, should be abhorrent to her. The simplicity of +her thoughts should shine through the ingenuousness of her +words. Her testimony should convey as irresistible conviction +as the voice of the personified nature of things. And this +ingenuousness should comprise, in its fullest extent, that perfect +conformity of feelings and opinions which ought to be the most +common, but is unfortunately the most rare, of the qualities +of the female mind.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> You say nothing of beauty.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> As to what is usually called beauty, mere +symmetry of form and features, it would be an object with me +in purchasing a statue, but none whatever in choosing a wife. +Let her countenance be the mirror of such qualities as I have +described, and she cannot be otherwise than beautiful. I think +with the Athenians, that beauty and goodness are inseparable. +I need not remind you of the perpetual καλος κἀγαθος.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> You have said nothing of the principal, and, +indeed, almost the only usual consideration in marriage—fortune.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I am rich enough myself to dispense with +such considerations. Even were I not so, I doubt if worldly +wisdom would ever influence me to bend my knee with the +multitude at the shrine of the omnipotence of money. Nothing +is more uncertain, more transient, more perishable, than +riches. How many prudent marriages of interest and +convenience were broken to atoms by the French revolution! +Do you think there was one couple, among all those calculating +characters, that acted in those trying times like Louvet and his +Lodoiska?<a id='r30'></a><a href='#f30' class='c012'><sup>[30]</sup></a> But without looking to periods of public +convulsion, in no state of society is any individual secure +against the changes of fortune. What becomes of those +ill-assorted unions, which have no basis but money, when, as +is very often the case, the money departs, and the persons +remain? The qualities of the heart and of the mind are alone +out of the power of accident; and by these, and these only, +shall I be guided in the choice of the companion of my life.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Are there no other indispensable qualities that +you have omitted in your enumeration?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> None, I think, but such as are implied in +<span class='pageno' id='Page_90'>90</span>those I have mentioned, and must necessarily be co-existent +with them; an endearing sensibility, an agreeable cheerfulness, +and that serenity of temper which is truly the balm of being, +and the absence of which, in the intercourse of domestic life, +obliterates all the radiance of beauty, all the splendour of talent, +and all the dignity of virtue.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> I presume, then, you seriously purpose to marry, +when you can find such a woman as this you have described?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Seriously I do.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> And not till then?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Certainly not.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Then your present heir presumptive has nothing +to fear for his reversion.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_91'>91</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XII<br> <span class='c013'>LOVE AND POVERTY</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>‘We shall presently,’ said Mr. Fax, as they pursued their walk, +‘come in sight of a cottage, which I remarked two years ago: +a deplorable habitation! A picture of its exterior and interior +suspended in some public place, in every town in the kingdom, +with a brief commentary subjoined, would operate <i><span lang="la">in terrorem</span></i> in +favour of the best interests of political economy, by placing +before the eyes of the rising generation the lamentable +consequences of imprudent marriage, and the necessary result +of attachment, of which romance is the foundation and +marriage the superstructure, without the only cement which +will make it wind and water tight—money.’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Nothing but money! The resemblance +Fluellen found between Macedon and Monmouth, because both +began with an M, holds equally true of money and marriage: +but there seems to be a much stronger connection in the latter +case; for marriage is but a body, of which money is the soul.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> It is so. It must be so. The constitution of +society imperiously commands it to be so. The world of +reality is not the world of romance. When a lover talks of +lips of coral, teeth of pearl, tresses of gold, and eyes of +diamonds, he knows all the while that he is lying by wholesale; +and that no baker in England would give him credit for a +penny roll on all this display of his Utopian treasury. All the +aerial castles that are founded in the contempt of worldly +prudence have not half the solidity of the cloud-built towers +that surround the setting of the autumnal sun.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I maintain, on the contrary, that, <em>let all +possible calamities be accumulated on two affectionate and +congenial spirits, they will find more true happiness in weeping +<span class='pageno' id='Page_92'>92</span>together than they would have found in all the riches of the +world, poisoned by the disunion of hearts</em>.<a id='r31'></a><a href='#f31' class='c012'><sup>[31]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> The disunion of hearts is an evil of another kind. +It is not a comparison of evils I wish to institute. That two +rich people fettered by the indissoluble bond of marriage, and +hating each other cordially, are two as miserable animals as +any on the face of the earth, is certain; but that two poor +ones, let them love each other ever so fondly, starving together +in a garret, are therefore in a less positively wretched condition, +is an inference which no logic, I think, can deduce. For the +picture you must draw in your mind’s eye is not that of a +neatly-dressed, young, healthy-looking couple, weeping in each +other’s arms in a clean, however homely cottage, in a fit of +tender sympathy; but you must surround them with all the +squalid accompaniments of poverty, rags, and famine, the +contempt of the world, the dereliction of friends, half a dozen +hungry squalling children, all clothed perhaps in the cutting +up of an old blanket, duns in presence, bailiffs in prospect, and +the long perspective of hopelessness closed by the workhouse or +the gaol.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You imagine an extreme case, which something +more than the original want of fortune seems requisite to +produce.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> I have heard you declaim very bitterly against +those who maintain the necessary connection between misfortune +and imprudence.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Certainly. To assert that the unfortunate +must necessarily have been imprudent, is to furnish an excuse +to the cold-hearted and illiberal selfishness of a state of society, +which needs no motive superadded to its own miserable +narrow-mindedness, to produce the almost total extinction of +benevolence and sympathy. Good and evil fortune depend so +much on the combination of external circumstances, that the +utmost skill and industry cannot command success; neither is +the result of the most imprudent actions always fatal:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Our indiscretions sometimes serve us well,</div> + <div class='line'>When our deep plots do pall.<a id='r32'></a><a href='#f32' class='c012'><sup>[32]</sup></a></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_93'>93</span><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Sometimes, no doubt; but not so often as to +equalise the probable results of indiscretion and prudence. +‘Where there is prudence,’ says Juvenal, ‘fortune is powerless’; +and this doctrine, though liable to exceptions, is replete with +general truth. We have a nice balance to adjust. To check +the benevolence of the rich, by persuading them that all misfortune +is the result of imprudence, is a great evil; but it would +be a much greater evil to persuade the poor that indiscretion +may have a happier result than prudence; for where this +appears to be true in one instance, it is manifestly false in a +thousand. It is certainly not enough to possess industry and +talent; there must be means for exerting them; and in a +redundant population these means are often wanting, even to +the most skilful and the most industrious: but though calamity +sometimes seizes those who use their best efforts to avoid her, +yet she seldom disappoints the intentions of those who leap +headlong into her arms.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> It seems, nevertheless, peculiarly hard that +all the blessings of life should be confined to the rich. If you +banish the smiles of love from the cottage of poverty, what +remains to cheer its dreariness? The poor man has no friends, +no amusements, no means of exercising benevolence, nothing +to fill up the gloomy and desolate vacancy of his heart, if you +banish love from his dwelling. ‘There is one alone, and there +is not a second,’ says one of the greatest poets and philosophers +of antiquity: ‘there is one alone, and there is not a second: +yea, he hath neither child nor brother; yet is there no end of +all his labour: ... neither saith he, For whom do I labour +and bereave my soul of good?... Two are better than +one ... for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but +woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not +another to help him up.’<a id='r33'></a><a href='#f33' class='c012'><sup>[33]</sup></a> Society in poverty is better than +<span class='pageno' id='Page_94'>94</span>solitude in wealth: but solitude and poverty together it is +scarcely in human nature to tolerate.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> This, if I remember rightly, is the cottage of +which I was speaking.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The cottage was ruined and uninhabited. The roof had +fallen in. The garden was choked with weeds. ‘What,’ said +Mr. Fax, ‘can have become of its unfortunate inhabitants?’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> What were they?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> A couple for whom nature had done much, and +fortune nothing. I took shelter in their cottage from a passing +storm. The picture which you called the imagination of an +extreme case falls short of the reality of what I witnessed here. +It was the utmost degree of misery and destitution compatible +with the preservation of life. A casual observer might have +passed them by, as the most abject of the human race. But +their physiognomy showed better things. It was with the +utmost difficulty I could extract a word from either of them: +but when I at last succeeded I was astonished, in garments so +mean and a dwelling so deplorable, to discover feelings so +generous and minds so enlightened. The semblance of human +sympathy seemed strange to them; little of it as you may +suppose could be discovered through my saturnine complexion, +and the habitual language of what you call my frosty philosophy. +By degrees I engaged their confidence, and he related to me +his history, which I will tell you, as nearly as I can remember, +in his own words.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_95'>95</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XIII<br> <span class='c013'>DESMOND</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>My name is Desmond. My father was a naval officer, who in +the prime of life was compelled by wounds to retire from the +service on his half-pay and a small additional pension. I was +his only son, and he submitted to the greatest personal privations +to procure me a liberal education, in the hope that by +these means he should live to see me making my way in the +world: but he always accompanied his wishes for this consummation +with a hope that I should consider money as a +means, and not as an end, and that I should remember the +only real treasures of human existence were truth, health, and +liberty. You will not wonder that, with such principles, the +father had been twenty years a lieutenant, and that the son +was looked on at College as a fellow that would come to +nothing.</p> + +<p class='c007'>I profited little at the University, as you will easily suppose. +The system of education pursued there appeared to me the +result of a deep-laid conspiracy against the human understanding, +a mighty effort of political and ecclesiastical machiavelism, +to turn the energies of inquiring minds into channels, where +they will either stagnate in disgust, or waste themselves in +nugatory labour. To discover or even to illustrate a single +moral truth, to shake the empire of a single prejudice, to apply +a single blow of the axe of philosophy to the wide-spreading +roots of superstition and political imposture, is to render a real +service to the best hopes of mankind; but all this is diametrically +opposed to the selfish interests of the hired misleaders of +society, the chosen few, as they are called, before whom the +wretched multitude grovel in the dust as before</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in16'><span class='pageno' id='Page_96'>96</span>The children of a race,</div> + <div class='line'>Mightier than they, and wiser, and by heaven</div> + <div class='line'>Beloved and favoured more.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>Moral science, therefore, moral improvement, the doctrines +of benevolence, the amelioration of the general condition of +mankind, will not only never form a part of any public institution +for the performance of that ridiculous and mischievous farce +called the <em>Finishing of Education</em>; but every art of clerical +chicanery and fraudulent misrepresentation will be practised, to +render odious the very names of philosophy and philanthropy, +and to extinguish, by ridicule and persecution, that enthusiastic +love of truth, which never fails to conduct its votaries to +conclusions very little compatible with the views of those who +have built, or intend to build, their own worldly prosperity on +the foundation of hypocrisy and servility in themselves, and +ignorance and credulity in others.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The study of morals and of mind occupied my exclusive +attention. I had little taste for the science of lines and numbers, +and still less for verbal criticism, the pinnacle of academical +glory.</p> + +<p class='c007'>I delighted in the poets of Greece and Rome, but I thought +that the <i><span lang="la">igneus vigor et coelestis origo</span></i> of their conceptions and +expressions was often utterly lost sight of in the microscopic +inspection of philological minutiae. I studied Greek, as the +means of understanding Homer and Aeschylus: I did not look +on them as mere secondary instruments to the attainment of +a knowledge of their language. I had no conception of the +taste that could prefer Lycophron to Sophocles because he had +the singular advantage of being obscure; and should have been +utterly at a loss to account for such a phenomenon, if I had not +seen that the whole system of public education was purposely +calculated to make inferior minds recoil in disgust and terror +from the vestibule of knowledge, and superior minds consume +their dangerous energies in the <i><span lang="la">difficiles nugae</span></i> and <em>labor +ineptiarum</em> of its adytum.</p> + +<p class='c007'>I did not <em>finish</em>, as it is called, my college <em>education</em>. My +father’s death compelled me to leave it before the expiration of +the usual period, at the end of which the same distinction is +conferred on all capacities, by the academical noometry, not of +merit but of time. I found myself almost destitute; but I felt +the consciousness of talents, that I doubted not would amply +<span class='pageno' id='Page_99'>99</span>provide for me in that great centre of intellect and energy, +London. To London I accordingly went, and became a +boarder in the humble dwelling of a widow, who maintained +herself and an only daughter by the perilous and precarious +income derived from lodgers.</p> + +<div id='i_098' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_098.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p>‘<em>My dear sir, only take the trouble of sitting a few hours in my shop.</em>’</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>My first application was to a bookseller in Bond Street, to +whom I offered the copyright of a treatise on the Elements of +Morals. ‘My dear sir,’ said he, with an air of supercilious +politeness, ‘only take the trouble of sitting a few hours in my +shop, and if you detect any one of my customers in the act of +pronouncing the word <em>morals</em>, I will give any price you please +to name for your copyright.’ But, glancing over the manuscript, +‘I perceive,’ said he, ‘there are some smart things here; +and though they are good for nothing where they are, they +would cut a pretty figure in a Review. My friend Mr. Vamp, +the editor, is in want of a hand for the moral department of +his Review: I will give you a note to him.’ I thanked him +for his kindness, and, furnished with the note, proceeded to +the lodgings of Mr. Vamp, whom I found in an elegant first +floor, lounging over a large quarto, which he was marking +with a pencil. A number of books and pamphlets, and fragments +of both curiously cut up, were scattered on the table +before him, together with a large pot of paste and an enormous +pair of scissors.</p> + +<p class='c007'>He received me with great hauteur, read the note, and said, +‘Mr. Foolscap has told you we are in want of a hand, and he +thinks you have a turn in the moral line: I shall not be sorry +if it prove so, for we have been very ill provided in that way a +long while; and though morals are not much in demand +among our patrons and customers, and will not do, by any +means, for a standing dish, they make, nevertheless, a very +pretty seasoning for our politics, in cases where they might +otherwise be rather unpalatable and hard of digestion. You +see this pile of pamphlets, these volumes of poetry, and this +rascally quarto: all these, though under very different titles, +and the productions of very different orders of mind, have, +either openly or covertly, only one object; and a most impertinent +one it is. This object is twofold: first, to prove +the existence, to an immense extent, of what these writers +think proper to denominate political corruption; secondly, to +convince the public that this corruption ought to be +<span class='pageno' id='Page_100'>100</span>extinguished. Now, we are anxious to do away the effect of all +these incendiary clamours. As to the existence of corruption +(it is a villainous word, by the bye—we call it <em>persuasion in a +tangible shape</em>): as to the existence, then, of <em>persuasion in a +tangible shape</em>, we do not wish to deny it; on the contrary, we +have no hesitation in affirming that it is <em>as notorious as the +sun at noonday</em>: but as to the inference that it ought to be +extinguished—that is the point against which we direct the full +fire of our critical artillery; we maintain that it ought to exist; +and here is the leading article of our next number, in which +we confound in one mass all these obnoxious publications, +putting the weakest at the head of the list, that if any of our +readers should feel inclined to judge for themselves (I must do +them the credit to say I do not suspect many of them of such +a democratical propensity), they may be stopped <em>in limine</em>, by +finding very little temptation to proceed. The political composition +of this article is beautiful; it is the production of a +gentleman high in office, who is indebted to <em>persuasion in a +tangible shape</em> for his present income of several thousands per +annum; but it wants, as I have hinted, a little moral seasoning; +and there, as ill-luck will have it, we are all thrown out. +We have several reverend gentlemen in our corps, but morals +are unluckily quite out of their way. We have, on some +occasions, with their assistance, substituted theology for morals; +they manage this very cleverly, but I am sorry to say it only +takes among the old women; and though the latter are our +best and most numerous customers, yet we have some very +obstinate and hard-headed readers who will not, as I have +observed, swallow our politics without a little moral seasoning; +and, as I told Mr. Foolscap, if we did not contrive to pick up +a spice of morals somewhere or other, all the eloquence of +<em>persuasion in a tangible shape</em> would soon become of little +avail. Now, if you will undertake the seasoning of this article +in such a manner as to satisfy my employers, I will satisfy you: +you understand me.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>I observed that I hoped he would allow me the free +exercise of my own opinion; and that I should wish to season +his article in such a manner as to satisfy myself, which I +candidly told him would not be in such a manner as seemed +likely to satisfy him.</p> + +<p class='c007'>On this he flew into a rage, and vowed vengeance against +<span class='pageno' id='Page_101'>101</span>Mr. Foolscap for having sent him a Jacobin. I strenuously +disclaimed this appellation; and being then quite a novice in +the world, I actually endeavoured to reason with him, as if the +conviction of general right and wrong could have any influence +upon him; but he stopped me short, by saying that till I +could reason him out of his pension I might spare myself the +trouble of interfering with his opinions; as the logic from +which they were deduced had presented itself to him in a +much more <em>tangible shape</em> than any abstract notions of truth +and liberty. He had thought, from Mr. Foolscap’s letter, that +I had a talent for moral theory, and that I was inclined to +turn it to account; as for moral practice, he had nothing to do +with it, desired to know nothing about it, and wished me a +good-morning.</p> + +<p class='c007'>I was not yet discouraged, and made similar applications +to the editors and proprietors of several daily, weekly, monthly, +and quarterly publications, but I found everywhere the same +indifference or aversion to general principles, the same partial +and perverted views: every one was the organ of some division +or subdivision of a faction; and had entrenched himself in a +narrow circle, within the pale of which all was honour, consistency, +integrity, generosity, and justice; while all without it +was villainy, hypocrisy, selfishness, corruption, and lies. Not +being inclined to imprison myself in any one of these magical +rings, I found all my interviews terminate like that with Mr. +Vamp.</p> + +<p class='c007'>By the advice and introduction of a college acquaintance, I +accepted the situation of tutor in the family of Mr. Dross, a +wealthy citizen, who had acquired a large fortune by contracts +with Government, in the execution of which he had not +forgotten to charge for his vote and interest. His conscience, +indeed, of all the commodities he dealt in, was that which he +had brought to the best market; though, among his more fair-dealing, +and consequently poorer neighbours, it was thought +he had made the ministry pay too dearly for so very rotten an +article. They seemed not to be aware that a corrupt administration +estimates conscience and Stilton cheese by the same +criterion, and that its rottenness was its recommendation.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Dross was a tun of man, with the soul of a hazel-nut: +his wife was a tun of woman, without any soul whatever. The +principle that animated her bulk was composed of three +<span class='pageno' id='Page_102'>102</span>ingredients—arrogance, ignorance, and the pride of money. +They were, in every sense of the word, what the world calls +respectable people.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mrs. Dross aspired to be <em>somebody</em>, aped the nobility, and +gave magnificent routs, which were attended by many noble +personages, and by all that portion of the fashionable world +that will go anywhere for a crowd and a supper.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Their idea of virtue consisted in having no debts, going +regularly to church, and feeding the parson; their idea of +charity, in paying the poor-rates, and putting down their +names to public subscriptions: and they had a profound contempt +for every species of learning, which they associated +indissolubly with rags and famine, and with that neglect of the +main chance, which they regarded as the most deadly of all +deadly sins. But as they had several hopeful children, and as +Mrs. Dross found it was fashionable to have a governess and +a <em>tutorer</em>, they had looked out for two pieces of human furniture +under these denominations, and my capricious destiny led me +to their splendid dwelling in the latter capacity.</p> + +<p class='c007'>I found the governess, Miss Pliant, very admirably adapted +to her situation. She did not presume to have a will of her +own. Suspended like Mahomet’s coffin between the mistress +and the housekeeper, despising the one, and despised by the +other, her mind seemed unconscious of its vacancy, and her +heart of its loneliness. She had neither feelings nor principles, +either of good or ill: perfectly selfish, perfectly cold-hearted, +and perfectly obsequious, she was contented with her situation, +because it seemed likely to lead to an advantageous establishment; +for if ever she thought of marriage, it was only in the +light of a system of bargain, in which youth and beauty were +very well disposed of when bartered for age and money. She +was highly accomplished: a very scientific musician, without +any soul in her performance; a most skilful copier of landscapes, +without the least taste for the beauties of nature; and a +proficient in French grammar, though she had read no book +in that language but <cite>Telemaque</cite>, and hated the names of +Rousseau and Voltaire, because she had heard them called +rascals by her father, who had taken his opinion on trust from +the Reverend Mr. Simony, who had never read a page of +either of them.</p> + +<p class='c007'>I very soon found that I was regarded as an upper +<span class='pageno' id='Page_103'>103</span>servant—as a person of more pretension, but less utility, than the +footman. I was expected to be really more servile, in mind +especially. If I presumed to differ in opinion from Mr. or +Mrs. Dross, they looked at each other and at me with the +most profound astonishment, wondering at so much audacity +in one of their movables. I really envied the footman, living +as he did among his equals, where he might have his own +opinion, as far as he was capable of forming one, and express +it without reserve or fear; while all my thoughts were to be +those of a mirror, and my motions those of an automaton. I +soon saw that I had but the choice of alternatives: either to +mould myself into a slave, liar, and hypocrite, or to take my +leave of Mr. Dross. I therefore embraced the latter, and +determined from that moment never again to live under the +roof of a superior, if my own dwelling were to be the most +humble and abject of human habitations.</p> + +<p class='c007'>I returned to my old lodgings, and, after a short time, +procured some employment in the way of copying for a lawyer. +My labour was assiduous, and my remuneration scanty; but +my habits were simple, my evenings were free, and in the +daughter of the widow with whom I lodged I found a congenial +mind: a desire for knowledge, an ardent love of truth, and a +capacity that made my voluntary office of instruction at once +easy and delightful.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The widow died embarrassed: her creditors seized her +effects, and her daughter was left destitute. I was her only +friend: to every other human being, not only her welfare, but +even her existence, were matters of total indifference. The +course of necessity seemed to have thrown her on my protection, +and if I before loved her, I now regarded her as a +precious trust, confided to me by her evil fate. Call it what +you may—imprudence, madness, frenzy—we were married.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The lawyer who employed me had chosen his profession +very injudiciously, for he was an honest and benevolent man. +He interested himself for me, acquainted himself with my +circumstances, and without informing me of his motives, +increased my remuneration; though, as I afterwards found, he +could very ill afford to do so. By this means we lived twelve +months in comfort, I may say, considering the simplicity of +our habits, in prosperity. The birth of our first child was an +accession to our domestic happiness. We had no pleasures +<span class='pageno' id='Page_104'>104</span>beyond the limits of our humble dwelling. Our circumstances +and situation were much below the ordinary level of those of +well-educated people: we had, therefore, no society, but we +were happy in each other: our evenings were consecrated to +our favourite authors; and the din of the streets, the tumult of +crowds and carriages thronging to parties of pleasure and +scenes of public amusement, came to us like the roar of a +stormy ocean on which we had neither wish nor power to +embark.</p> + +<p class='c007'>One evening we were surprised by an unexpected visitor; +it was the lawyer, my employer. ‘Desmond!’ said he, ‘I am +a ruined man. For having been too scrupulous to make +beggars of others, I have a fair prospect of becoming one +myself. You are shocked and astonished. Do not grieve on +my account. I have neither wife nor children. Very trivial +and very remediable is the evil that can happen to me. +“The valiant by himself, what can he suffer?” You will +think a lawyer has as little business with poetry as he has with +justice. Perhaps so. I have been too partial to both.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>I was glad to see him so cheerful, and expressed a hope +that his affairs would take a better turn than he seemed to +expect. ‘You shall know more,’ said he, ‘in a few days; in +the meantime, here are the arrears I owe you.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>When he came again, he said: ‘My creditors are neither +numerous nor cruel. I have made over to them all my +property, but they allow me to retain possession of a small +house in Westmoreland, with an annuity for my life, sufficient +to maintain me in competence. I could propose a wild +scheme to you if I thought you would not be offended.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘That,’ said I, ‘I certainly will not, propose what you may.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Tell me,’ said he, ‘which do you think the most useful +and uncontaminating implement, the quill or the spade?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The spade,’ said I, ‘generally speaking, unquestionably: +the quill in some most rare and solitary instances.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘In the hand of Homer and Plutarch, of Seneca and +Tacitus, of Shakespeare and Rousseau? I am not speaking +of them, or of those who, however humbly, reflect their excellencies. +But in the hands of the slaves of commerce, the +minions of law, the venal advocates of superstition, the +sycophants of corruption, the turnspits of literature, the +paragraph-mongers of prostituted journals, the hireling compounders +<span class='pageno' id='Page_105'>105</span>of party-praise and censure, under the name of +periodical criticism, what say you to it?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘What can I say,’ said I, ‘but that it is the curse of society, +and the bane of the human mind?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘And yet,’ said he, ‘in some of these ways must you employ +it, if you wish to live by it. Literature is not the soil in which +truth and liberty can flourish, unless their cultivators be independent +of the world. Those who are not so, whatever be the +promise of their beginning, will end either in sycophants or +beggars. As mere mechanical instruments, in pursuits unconnected +with literature, what say you to the comparison?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘What Cincinnatus would have said,’ I answered.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I am glad,’ said he, ‘to hear it. You are not one of the +multitude, neither, I believe, am I. I embraced my profession, +I assure you, from very disinterested motives. I considered +that, the greater the powers of mischief with which that profession +is armed, and, I am sorry to add, the practice of +mischief in the generality of its professors, the greater might +be the scope of philanthropy, in protecting weakness and +counteracting oppression. Thus I have passed my life in an +attempt to reconcile philanthropy and law. I had property +sufficient to enable me to try the experiment. The natural +consequence is, my property has vanished. I do not regret it, +for I have done some good. But I can do no more. My +power is annulled. I must retire from the stage of life. If I +retire alone, I must have servants; I had much rather have +friends. If you will accompany me to Westmoreland, we will +organise a little republic of our own. Your wife shall be our +housekeeper. We will cultivate our garden. We shall want +little more, and that my annuity will amply supply. We will +select a few books, and we will pronounce eternal banishment +on pen and ink.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>I could not help smiling at the earnestness with which he +pronounced the last clause. The change of a lawyer into a +Roman republican appeared to me as miraculous as any +metamorphosis in Ovid. Not to weary you with details, we +carried this scheme into effect, and passed three years of +natural and healthy occupation, with perfect simplicity and +perfect content. They were the happiest of our lives. But +at the end of this period our old friend died. His annuity +died with him. He left me his heir, but his habitation and its +<span class='pageno' id='Page_106'>106</span>furniture were all he had to leave. I procured a tenant for +the house, and we removed to this even yet more humble +dwelling. The difference of the rent, a very trifling sum indeed, +constituted our only income. The increase of our family, and +the consequent pressure of necessity, compelled us to sell the +house. From the same necessity we have become strict +Pythagoreans. I do not complain that we live hardly: it is +almost wonderful that we live at all. The produce of our little +garden preserves us from famine: but this is all it does. I +consider myself a mere rustic, and very willingly engage in +agricultural labour, when the neighbouring farmers think proper +to employ me: but they feel no deficiency of abler hands. +There are more labourers than means of labour. In the cities +it is the same. If all the modes of human occupation in this +kingdom, from the highest to the lowest, were to require at once +a double number of persons, there would not remain one of +them twelve hours unfilled.</p> + +<p class='c007'>With what views could I return to London? Of the throng +continually pressing onward, to spring into the vacancies of +employment, the foremost ranks are unfortunately composed +of the selfish, the servile, the intriguing; of those to whose +ideas general justice is a chimaera, liberty an empty name, and +truth at best a verbal veil for the sycophantic falsehood of a +mercenary spirit. To what end could a pupil of the ancient +Romans mingle with such a multitude? To cringe, to lie, to +flatter? To bow to the insolence of wealth, the superciliousness +of rank, the contumely of patronage, that, while it exacts the +most abject mental prostration, in return for promises never +meant to be performed, despises the servility it fosters, and +laughs at the credulity it betrays?</p> + +<p class='c007'>The wheel of fortune is like a water-wheel, and human +beings are like the waters it disturbs. Many are thrown into +the channels of action, many are thrown back to be lost for +ever in the stream. I am one of the latter: but I shall not +consider it disgraceful to me that I am so, till I see that +candour, simplicity, integrity, and intellectual power, directed +by benevolence and liberty, have a better claim to worldly +estimation, than either venal talent prostituted to the wages of +corruption, or ignorance, meanness, and imbecility, exalted by +influence and interest.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_107'>107</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XIV<br> <span class='c013'>THE COTTAGE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'><em>Mr. Fax (in continuation).</em> ‘I cannot help thinking,’ said I, +when Desmond had done speaking, ‘that you have formed too +hasty an estimate of the world. Mr. Vamp and Mr. Dross +are bad specimens of human nature: but there are many good +specimens of it in both those classes of men. The world is, +indeed, full of prejudices and superstitions, which produce +ample profit to their venal advocates, who consequently want +neither the will nor the power to calumniate and persecute +the enlightened and the virtuous. The rich, too, are usually +arrogant and exacting, and those feelings will never perish for +want of sycophants to nourish them. An ardent love of truth +and liberty will, therefore, always prove an almost insuperable +barrier to any great degree of worldly advancement. A +celebrated divine, who turned his theological morality to very +excellent account, and died <i><span lang="fr">en bonne odeur</span></i>, used to say, <em>he +could not afford to have a conscience, for it was the most +expensive luxury a man could indulge in</em>. So it certainly is: +but, though a conscientious man who has his own way to make +in the world, will very seldom flourish in the sunshine of +prosperity, it is not, therefore, necessary that he should sit +quietly down and starve.’ He said he would think of it, and +if he could find any loophole in the great feudal fortress of +society, at which poverty and honesty could creep in together, +he would try to effect an entrance. I made more particular +inquiry into their circumstances, and they at length communicated +to me, but with manifest reluctance, that they were +in imminent danger of being deprived of their miserable furniture, +and turned out of their wretched habitation, by Lawrence +<span class='pageno' id='Page_108'>108</span>Litigate, Esquire, their landlord, for arrears of rent amounting +to five pounds.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Which, of course, you paid?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> I did so; but I do not see that it is of course.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester, Mr. Fax, and Sir Oran were still leaning over +the gate of the cottage, when a peasant came whistling along +the road. ‘Pray, my honest friend,’ said Mr. Fax, ‘can you +inform me what has become of the family which inhabited this +cottage two years ago?’—‘Ye’ll voind them,’ said the peasant, +‘about a mile vurther an, just by the lake’s edge like, wi’ two +large elms by the door, and a vir tree.’ He resumed his tune +and his way.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The philosophical trio proceeded on their walk.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You have said little of his wife.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> She was an interesting creature. With her the +feelings of misfortune had subsided into melancholy silence, +while with him they broke forth in misanthropical satire.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> And their children?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> They would have been fine children, if they had +been better clothed and fed.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Did they seem to repent their marriage?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Not for themselves. They appeared to have +no wish but to live and die together. For their children, +indeed, I could easily perceive they felt more grief than they +expressed.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You have scarcely made out your case. +Poverty had certainly come in at the door, but Love does not +seem to have flown out at the window. You would not have +prevailed on them to separate at the price of living in palaces. +The energy of intellect was not deadened; the independence +of spirit was not broken. The participation of love communicates +a luxury to sorrow, that all the splendour of selfishness +can never bestow. If, as has been said, a friend is more +valuable than the elements of fire and water, how much more +valuable must be the one only associate, the more than friend, +to him whom in affliction and in poverty all other friends have +abandoned! If the sun shines equally on the palace and the +cottage, why should not love, the sun of the intellectual world, +shine equally on both? More needful, indeed, is its genial +light to the latter, where there is no worldly splendour to +diminish or divide its radiance.</p> + +<div id='i_110' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_110'>110</span> +<img src='images/i_110.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Sir Oran sat down in the artist’s seat.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_111'>111</span>With a sudden turn of the road, a scene of magnificent +beauty burst upon their view: the still expanse of a lake, +bordered with dark precipices and fading woods, and mountains +rising above them, height on height, till the clouds rested on +their summits. A picturesque tourist had planted his travelling-chair +under the corner of a rock, and was intently occupied +in sketching the scene. The process attracted Sir Oran’s +curiosity; he walked up to the tourist, who was too deeply +engaged to notice his approach, and peeped over his shoulder. +Sir Oran, after looking at the picture, then at the landscape, +then at the picture, then at the landscape again, at length +suddenly expressed his delight in a very loud and very singular +shout, close in the painter’s ear, that re-echoed from rock to +rock. The tourist sprang up in violent alarm, and seeing the +extraordinary physiognomy of the personage at his elbow, drew +a sudden conclusion of evil intentions, and ran off with great +rapidity, leaving all his apparatus behind him. Sir Oran sat +down in the artist’s seat, took up the drawing utensils, placed +the unfinished drawing on his knee, and sat in an attitude of +deep contemplation, as if meditating on the means to be pursued +for doing the same thing himself.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The flying tourist encountered Messieurs Fax and Forester, +who had observed the transaction, and were laughing at it as +heartily as Democritus himself could have done. They tranquillised +his apprehensions, and led him back to the spot. Sir +Oran, on a hint from his friend Mr. Forester, rose, made the +tourist a polite bow, and restored to him his beloved portfolio. +They then wished him a good-morning, and left him in a state +of nervous trepidation, which made it very obvious that he +would draw no more that day.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Can Sir Oran draw?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> No; but I think he would easily acquire the +art. It is very probable that in the nation of the Orans, which +I take to be <em>a barbarous nation that has not yet learned the use +of speech</em>,<a id='r34'></a><a href='#f34' class='c012'><sup>[34]</sup></a> drawing, as a means of communicating ideas, may +be in no contemptible state of forwardness.<a id='r35'></a><a href='#f35' class='c012'><sup>[35]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_112'>112</span><em>Mr. Fax.</em> He has, of course, seen many drawings since he +has been among civilised men; what so peculiarly delighted +and surprised him in this?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I suspect this is the first opportunity he has +had of comparing the natural original with the artificial copy; +and his delight was excited by seeing the vast scene before +him transferred so accurately into so small a compass, and +growing, as it were, into a distinct identity under the hand of +the artist.</p> + +<p class='c007'>They now arrived at the elms and the fir-tree, which the +peasant had pointed out as the landmarks of the dwelling of +Desmond. They were surprised to see a very pretty cottage, +standing in the midst of a luxuriant garden, one part of which +sloped down to the edge of the lake. Everything bore the air +of comfort and competence. They almost doubted if the +peasant had been correct in his information. Three rosy +children, plainly but neatly dressed, were sitting on the edge of +the shallow water, watching with intense delight and interest the +manœuvres of a paper flotilla, which they had committed to +the mercy of the waves.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> What is the difference between these children +and Xerxes on the shores of Salamis?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> None, but that where they have pure and +unmingled pleasure, his feelings began in selfish pride, and +ended in slavish fear; their amusement is natural and innocent; +his was unnatural, cruel, and destructive, and therefore +more unworthy of a rational being. <em>Better is a poor and wise +child than a foolish king that will not be admonished.</em></p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_113'>113</span>A female came from the cottage. Mr. Fax recognised Mrs. +Desmond. He was surprised at the change in her appearance. +Health and content animated her countenance. The simple +neatness of her dress derived an appearance of elegance from +its interesting wearer; contrary to the fashionable process, in +which dress neither neat nor simple, but a heterogeneous mixture +of all the fripperies of Europe, gives what the world calls +elegance, where less partial nature has denied it. There are, +in this respect, two classes of human beings: Nature makes +the first herself, for the beauty of her own creation; her +journeymen cut out the second for tailors and mantua-makers +to finish. The first, when apparelled, may be called dressed +people—the second, peopled dresses; the first bear the same +relation to their clothes as an oak bears to its foliage—the +second, the same as a wig-block bears to a wig; the first may +be compared to cocoa-nuts, in which the kernel is more valuable +than the shell—the second, to some varieties of the <em>Testaceous +Mollusca</em>, where a shell of infinite value covers a stupid +fish that is good for nothing.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mrs. Desmond recognised Mr. Fax. ‘O sir!’ said she, +‘I rejoice to see you.’—‘And I rejoice,’ said Mr. Fax, ‘to see +you as you now are; Fortune has befriended you.’—‘You +rendered us great service, sir, in our wretched condition; but +the benefit, of course, was transient. With the next quarter-day +Mr. Litigate, our landlord, resumed his persecutions; and +we should have been turned out of our wretched dwelling to +perish in the roads, had not some happy incident made Miss +Melincourt acquainted with our situation. To know what it +was, and to make it what it is, were the same thing to her. So +suddenly, when the extremity of evil was impending over us, +to be placed in this little Paradise in competence—nay, to our +simple habits, in affluence, and in such a manner, as if we were +bestowing, not receiving favours——O sir, there cannot be +two Miss Melincourts! But will you not walk in and take some +refreshment?—we can offer you refreshment now. My husband +is absent at present, but he will very soon return.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>While she was speaking he arrived. Mr. Fax congratulated +him. At his earnest solicitation they entered the cottage, and +were delighted with the beautiful neatness that predominated +in every part of it. The three children ran in to see the +strangers. Mr. Forester took up the little girl, Mr. Fax a boy, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_114'>114</span>and Sir Oran Haut-ton another. The latter took alarm at the +physiognomy of his new friend, and cried and kicked, and +struggled for release; but Sir Oran, producing a flute from his +pocket, struck up a lively air, which reconciled the child, who +then sat very quietly on his knee.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Some refreshment was placed before them, and Sir Oran +testified, by a copious draught, that he found much virtue in +home-brewed ale.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘There is a farm attached to this cottage,’ said Mr. Desmond; +‘and Miss Melincourt, by having placed me in it, +enabled me to maintain my family in comfort and independence, +and to educate them in a free, healthy, and natural +occupation. I have ever thought agriculture the noblest of +human pursuits; to the theory and practice of it I now devote +my whole attention, and I am not without hopes that the +improvement of this part of my benefactress’s estate will justify +her generous confidence in a friendless stranger; but what can +repay her benevolence?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I will answer for her,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘though she is +as yet personally unknown to me, that she loves benevolence +for its own sake, and is satisfied with its consummation.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>After a short conversation, and a promise soon to revisit the +now happy family, Mr. Forester, Mr. Fax, and Sir Oran Haut-ton +resumed their walk. Mr. Forester, at parting, put, unobserved, +into the hand of the little boy, a folded paper, telling +him to give it to his father. It was a leaf which he had torn +from his pocket-book; he had enclosed in it a bank-note, and +had written on it with a pencil, ‘Do not refuse to a stranger +the happiness of reflecting that he has, however tardily and +slightly, co-operated with Miss Melincourt in a work of justice.’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_115'>115</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XV<br> <span class='c013'>THE LIBRARY</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Mr. Forester, Mr. Fax, and Sir Oran Haut-ton arrived at +Melincourt Castle. They were shown into a parlour, where +they were left alone a few minutes; when Mr. Hippy made +his appearance, and recognising Sir Oran, shook hands with +him very cordially. Mr. Forester produced the letter he had +received from Mr. Ratstail, which Mr. Hippy having read, +vented a string of invectives against the impudent rascal, and +explained the mystery of the adventure, though he seemed to +think it strange that Sir Oran could not have explained it +himself. Mr. Forester shook his head significantly; and Mr. +Hippy, affecting to understand the gesture, exclaimed, ‘Ah! +poor gentleman!’ He then invited them to stay to dinner. +‘I won’t be refused,’ said he; ‘I am lord and master of this +castle at present, and here you shall stay till to-morrow. +Anthy will be delighted to see her friend here’ (bowing to Sir +Oran, who returned it with great politeness), ‘and we will hold +a council of war, how to deal with this pair of puppies, +Lawrence Litigate, Esquire, and Richard Ratstail, Solicitor. +I have several visitors here already: lords, baronets, and +squires, all Corydons, sighing for Anthy; but it seems <em>Love’s +Labour Lost</em> with all of them. However, love and wine, you +know! Anthy won’t give them the first, so I drench them +with the second: there will be more bottles than hearts cracked +in the business, for all Anthy’s beauty. <em>Men die and worms +eat them</em>, as usual, <em>but not for love</em>.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester inquired for Sir Telegraph Paxarett. ‘An +excellent fellow after dinner!’ exclaimed Mr. Hippy. ‘I +never see him in the morning; nor any one else, but my +rascal, Harry Fell, and now and then Harry Killquick. The +<span class='pageno' id='Page_116'>116</span>moment breakfast is over, one goes one way, and another +another. Anthy locks herself up in the library.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Locks herself up in the library!’ said Mr. Fax: ‘a young +lady, a beauty, and an heiress, in the nineteenth century, think +of cultivating her understanding!’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Strange, but true,’ said Mr. Hippy; ‘and here am I, a +poor invalid, left alone all the morning to prowl about the +castle like a ghost; that is, when I am well enough to move, +which is not always the case. But the library is opened at +four, and the party assembles there before dinner; and as it +is now about the time, come with me, and I will introduce +you.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>They followed Mr. Hippy to the library, where they found +Anthelia alone.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Anthy,’ said Mr. Hippy, after the forms of introduction, +‘do you know you are accused of laying waste a pine-grove, +and carrying it off by cartloads, with force and arms?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>Anthelia read Mr. Ratstail’s letter. ‘This is a very strange +piece of folly,’ she said; ‘I hope it will not be a mischievous +one.’ She then renewed the expressions of her gratitude to +Sir Oran, and bade him welcome to Melincourt. Sir Oran +bowed in silence.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Folly and mischief,’ said Mr. Fax, ‘are very nearly allied; +and nowhere more conspicuously than in the forms of the law.’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You have an admirable library, Miss Melincourt: +and I judge from the great number of Italian books, +you are justly partial to the poets of that exquisite language. +The apartment itself seems singularly adapted to the genius +of their poetry, which combines the magnificent simplicity of +ancient Greece with the mysterious grandeur of the feudal +ages. Those windows of stained glass would recall to an +enthusiastic mind the attendant spirit of Tasso; and the waving +of the cedars beyond, when the wind makes music in their +boughs, with the birds singing in their shades and the softened +dash of the torrent from the dingle below, might with little aid +from fancy be modulated into that exquisite combination of +melody which flowed from the enchanted wood at the entrance +of Rinaldo, and which Tasso has painted with a degree of +harmony not less magical than the music he describes. Italian +poetry is all fairyland: I know not any description of literature +so congenial to the tenderness and delicacy of the female mind, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_117'>117</span>which, however opposite may be the tendency of modern +education, Nature has most pre-eminently adapted to be ‘a +mansion for all lovely forms: a dwelling-place for all sweet +sounds and harmonies.’<a id='r36'></a><a href='#f36' class='c012'><sup>[36]</sup></a> Of these, Italian poetry is a most +inexhaustible fountain; and for that reason I could wish it to +be generally acknowledged a point of the very first importance +in female education.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> You have a better opinion of the understandings +of women, sir, than the generality of your lordly sex seems +disposed to entertain.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> The conduct of men, in this respect, is +much like that of a gardener who should plant a plot of ground +with merely ornamental flowers, and then pass sentence on the +soil for not bearing substantial fruit. If women are treated +only as pretty dolls, and dressed in all the fripperies of +irrational education; if the vanity of personal adornment and +superficial accomplishments be made from their very earliest +years to suppress all mental aspirations, and to supersede all +thoughts of intellectual beauty, is it to be inferred that they +are incapable of better things? But such is the usual logic of +tyranny, which first places its extinguisher on the flame, and +then argues that it cannot burn.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Your remark is not totally just: for though +custom, how justly I will not say, banishes women from the +fields of classical literature, yet the study of Italian poetry, of +which you think so highly, is very much encouraged among +them.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You should rather say it is not discouraged. +They are permitted to know it: but in very few instances is +the permission accompanied by any practical aid. The only +points practically enforced in female education are sound, +colour, and form,—music, dress, drawing, and dancing. The +mind is left to take care of itself.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> And has as much chance of doing so as a horse +in a pound, circumscribed in the narrowest limits, and studiously +deprived of nourishment.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> The simile is, I fear, too just. To think is one +of the most unpardonable errors a woman can commit in the +eyes of society. In our sex a taste for intellectual pleasures +is almost equivalent to taking the veil; and though not +<span class='pageno' id='Page_118'>118</span>absolutely a vow of perpetual celibacy, it has almost always +the same practical tendency. In that universal system of +superficial education which so studiously depresses the mind +of women, a female who aspires to mental improvement will +scarcely find in her own sex a congenial associate; and the +other will regard her as an intruder on its prescriptive authority, +its legitimate and divine right over the dominion of thought +and reason: and the general consequence is, that she remains +insulated between both, in more than cloistered loneliness. +Even in its effect on herself, the ideal beauty which she studies +will make her fastidious, too fastidious, perhaps, to the world +of realities, and deprive her of the happiness that might be +her portion, by fixing her imagination on chimaeras of unattainable +excellence.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I can answer for men, Miss Melincourt, +that there are some, many I hope, who can appreciate justly +that most heavenly of earthly things, an enlightened female +mind; whatever may be thought by the pedantry that envies, +the foppery that fears, the folly that ridicules, or the wilful +blindness that will not see its loveliness. I am afraid your +last observation approaches most nearly to the truth, and that +it is owing more to their own fastidiousness than to the want +of friends and admirers, that intelligent women are so often +alone in the world. But were it otherwise, the objection will +not apply to Italian poetry, a field of luxuriant beauty, from +which women are not interdicted even by the most intolerant +prejudice of masculine usurpation.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> They are not interdicted, certainly; but they +are seldom encouraged to enter it. Perhaps it is feared, that, +having gone thus far, they might be tempted to go farther: +that the friend of Tasso might aspire to the acquaintance of +Virgil, or even to an introduction to Homer and Sophocles.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> And why should she not? Far from +desiring to suppress such a noble ambition, how delightful +should I think the task of conducting the lovely aspirant +through the treasures of Grecian genius!—to wander hand in hand +with such a companion among the valleys and fountains +of Ida, and by the banks of the eddying Scamander;<a id='r37'></a><a href='#f37' class='c012'><sup>[37]</sup></a> through +the island of Calypso, and the gardens of Alcinous;<a id='r38'></a><a href='#f38' class='c012'><sup>[38]</sup></a> to the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_119'>119</span>rocks of the Scythian desert;<a id='r39'></a><a href='#f39' class='c012'><sup>[39]</sup></a> to the caverned shores of the +solitary Lemnos;<a id='r40'></a><a href='#f40' class='c012'><sup>[40]</sup></a> and to the fatal sands of Troezene<a id='r41'></a><a href='#f41' class='c012'><sup>[41]</sup></a> to +kindle in such scenes the enthusiasm of such a mind, and to +see the eyes of love and beauty beaming with their reflected +inspiration! Miserably perverted, indeed, must be the selfishness +of him who, having such happiness in his power, would,</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Like the base Indian, throw a pearl away,</div> + <div class='line'>Richer than all his tribe.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> My friend’s enthusiasm, Miss Melincourt, +usually runs away with him when any allusion is made to +ancient Greece.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester had spoken with ardour and animation; for +the scenes of which he spoke rose upon his mind and depicted +in the incomparable poetry to which he had alluded; the +figurative idea of wandering among them with a young and +beautiful female aspirant assumed for a moment a visionary +reality; and when he subsequently reflected on it it appeared +to him very singular that the female figure in the mental +picture had assumed the form and features of Anthelia Melincourt.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Anthelia, too, saw in the animated countenance of Sylvan +Forester traces of more than common feeling, generosity, and +intelligence: his imaginary wanderings through the classic +scenes of antiquity assumed in her congenial mind the +brightest colours of intellectual beauty; and she could not +help thinking that if he were what he appeared, such wanderings, +with such a guide, would not be the most unenviable of +earthly destinies.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The other guests dropped in by ones and twos. Sir +Telegraph was agreeably surprised to see Mr. Forester. ‘By +the bye,’ said he, ‘have you heard that a general election is to +take place immediately?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I have,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘and was thinking of putting +you and your barouche in requisition very shortly.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘As soon as you please,’ said Sir Telegraph.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The Honourable Mrs. Pinmoney took Sir Telegraph aside, +to make inquiry concerning the new-comers.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_120'>120</span><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> Who is that very bright-eyed, +wild-looking young man?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> That is my old acquaintance and +fellow-collegian, Sylvan Forester, now of Redrose Abbey, in +this county.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> Is he respectable?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> He has a good estate, if you +mean that.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> To be sure I mean that. And +who is that tall thin saturnine personage?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> I know nothing of him but that +his name is Fax, and that he is now on a visit to Mr. Forester +at Redrose Abbey.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> And who is that <em>very</em> tall and +remarkably ugly gentleman?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> That is Sir Oran Haut-ton, +Baronet; to which designation you may shortly add M.P. for +the ancient and honourable borough of Onevote.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Hon. Mrs. Pinmoney.</em> A Baronet! and M.P.! Well, +now I look at him again, I certainly do not think him so very +plain: he has a very fashionable air. Haut-ton! French +extraction, no doubt. And now I think of it, there is something +very French in his physiognomy.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Dinner was announced, and the party adjourned to the +dining-room. Mr. Forester offered his hand to Anthelia; and +Sir Oran Haut-ton, following the example, presented his to the +Honourable Mrs. Pinmoney.<a id='r42'></a><a href='#f42' class='c012'><sup>[42]</sup></a></p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_121'>121</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XVI<br> <span class='c013'>THE SYMPOSIUM</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The dinner passed off with great harmony. The ladies withdrew. +The bottle revolved with celerity, under the presidency +of Mr. Hippy, and the vice-presidency of Sir Telegraph +Paxarett. The Reverend Mr. Portpipe, who was that day of +the party, pronounced an eulogium on the wine, which was +echoed by the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub, Mr. O’Scarum, +Lord Anophel Achthar, Mr. Feathernest, and Mr. Derrydown. +Mr. Forester and Mr. Fax showed no disposition to destroy +the unanimity of opinion on this interesting subject. Sir Oran +Haut-ton maintained a grave and dignified silence, but demonstrated +by his practice that his taste was orthodox. Mr. +O’Scarum sat between Sir Oran and the Reverend Mr. Portpipe, +and kept a sharp look-out on both sides of him; but did +not, during the whole course of the sitting, detect either of his +supporters in the heinous fact of a heeltap.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Hippy.</em> Dr. Killquick may say what he pleases</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Of mithridate, cordials, and elixirs;</div> + <div class='line'>But from my youth this was my only physic.—</div> + <div class='line'>Here’s a colour! what lady’s cheek comes near it?</div> + <div class='line'>It sparkles, hangs out diamonds! O my sweet heart!</div> + <div class='line'>Mistress of merry hearts! they are not worth thy favours</div> + <div class='line'>Who number thy moist kisses in these crystals!<a id='r43'></a><a href='#f43' class='c012'><sup>[43]</sup></a></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Portpipe.</em> An excellent text!—sound doctrine, +plain and practical. When I open the bottle, I shut the book +of Numbers. There are two reasons for drinking: one is, +when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not +thirsty, to prevent it. The first is obvious, mechanical, and +<span class='pageno' id='Page_122'>122</span>plebeian; the second is most refined, abstract, prospicient, and +canonical. I drink by anticipation of thirst that may be. +Prevention is better than cure. Wine is the elixir of life. +‘The soul,’ says St. Augustine, ‘cannot live in drought.’<a id='r44'></a><a href='#f44' class='c012'><sup>[44]</sup></a> +What is death? Dust and ashes. There is nothing so dry. +What is life? Spirit. What is Spirit? Wine.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. O’Scarum.</em> And whisky.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Portpipe.</em> Whisky is hepatic, phlogistic, and +exanthematous. Wine is the hierarchical and archiepiscopal +fluid. Bacchus is said to have conquered the East, and to +have returned loaded with its spoils. ‘Marry how? tropically.’ +The conquests of Bacchus are the victories of imagination, +which, sublimated by wine, puts to rout care, fear, and poverty, +and revels in the treasures of Utopia.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> The juice of the grape is the liquid +quintessence of concentrated sunbeams. Man is an exotic, in +this northern climate, and must be nourished like a hot-house +plant, by the perpetual adhibition of artificial heat.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> You were not always so fond of +wine, Feathernest?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> Oh, my lord! no allusion, I beseech +you, to my youthful errors. Demosthenes, being asked what +wine he liked best, answered, that which he drank at the +expense of others.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Portpipe.</em> Demosthenes was right. His +circumstance, or qualification, is an accompaniment of better +relish than a devilled biscuit or an anchovy toast.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> In former days, my lord, I had no experience +that way; therefore I drank water against my will.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> And wrote Odes upon it, to Truth +and Liberty.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> ‘Ah, no more of that, an’ thou lovest +me.’ Now that I can get it for a song, I take my pipe of +wine a year: and what is the effect? Not cold phlegmatic +lamentations over the sufferings of the poor, but high-flown, +jovial, reeling dithyrambics ‘to all the crowned heads in +Europe.’ I had then a vague notion that all was wrong. +Persuasion has since appeared to me in a tangible shape, and +convinced me that all is right, especially at court. Then I +<span class='pageno' id='Page_125'>125</span>saw darkly through a glass—of water. Now I see clearly +through a glass of wine.</p> + +<div id='i_123' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_123.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Portpipe</em> (<em>looking through his glass at the +light</em>). An infallible telescope!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I am unfortunately one of those, sir, who +very much admired your Odes to Truth and Liberty, and read +your royal lyrics with very different sensations.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> I presume, sir, every man has a right to +change his opinions.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> From disinterested conviction undoubtedly: +but when it is obviously from mercenary motives, the apostasy +of a public man is a public calamity. It is not his single loss +to the cause he supported, that is alone to be lamented: the +deep shade of mistrust which his conduct throws on that of all +others who embark in the same career tends to destroy all +sympathy with the enthusiasm of genius, all admiration for the +intrepidity of truth, all belief in the sincerity of zeal for public +liberty: if their advocates drop one by one into the vortex of +courtly patronage, every new one that arises will be more and +more regarded as a hollow-hearted hypocrite, a false and venal +angler for pension and place; for there is in these cases no +criterion by which the world can distinguish the baying of a +noble dog that will defend his trust till death, from the yelping +of a political cur, that only infests the heels of power to be +silenced with the offals of corruption.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> Cursed severe, Feathernest, ‘pon +honour.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> <em>The gradual falling off of prudent men from +unprofitable virtues is perhaps too common an occurrence to +deserve much notice, or justify much reprobation.</em><a id='r45'></a><a href='#f45' class='c012'><sup>[45]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> If it were not common, it would not need +reprobation. Vices of unfrequent occurrence stand sufficiently +self-exposed in the insulation of their own deformity. The +vices that call for the scourge of satire are those which +pervade the whole frame of society, and which, under some +specious pretence of private duty, or the sanction of custom +and precedent, are almost permitted to assume the semblance +of virtue, or at least to pass unstigmatised in the crowd of +congenial transgressions.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> You may say what you please, sir. I +<span class='pageno' id='Page_126'>126</span>am accustomed to this language, and am quite callous to it, I +assure you. I am in good odour at court, sir; and you know, +<i><span lang="la">Non cuivis homini contingit adire Corinthum</span></i>. While I was +out, sir, I made a great noise till I was let in. There was a +pack of us, sir, to keep up your canine metaphor: two or three +others got in at the same time: we knew very well that those +who were shut out would raise a hue and cry after us: it was +perfectly natural: we should have done the same in their +place: mere envy and malice, nothing more. Let them bark +on: when they are either wanted or troublesome, they will be +let in, in their turn. If there be any man who prefers a crust +and water to venison and sack, I am not of his mind. It is +pretty and politic to make a virtue of necessity: but when +there is an end of the necessity I am very willing that there +should be an end of the virtue. <em>If you could live on roots</em>, said +Diogenes to Aristippus, <em>you would have nothing to do with +kings</em>.—<em>If you could live on kings</em>, replied Aristippus, <em>you +would have nothing to do with roots</em>.—Every man for himself, +sir, and God for us all.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Derrydown.</em> The truth of things on this subject is +contained in the following stave:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>This world is a well-furnish’d table,</div> + <div class='line'>Where guests are promiscuously set:</div> + <div class='line'>We all fare as well as we’re able,</div> + <div class='line'>And scramble for what we can get.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Buz the bottle.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. O’Scarum.</em> Over, by Jupiter!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> No.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. O’Scarum.</em> Yes.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Portpipe.</em> No. The baronet has a most +mathematical eye. Buzzed to a drop!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Fortunately, sir, for the hopes of mankind, +every man does not bring his honour and conscience to market, +though I admit the majority do: there are some who dare be +honest in the worst of times.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> Perhaps, sir, you are one of those who +can <em>afford to have a conscience</em>, and are therefore under no +necessity of bringing it to market. If so, you should ‘give God +thanks, and make no boast of it.’ It is a great luxury certainly, +and well worth keeping, <i><span lang="la">caeteris paribus</span></i>. But it is neither +<span class='pageno' id='Page_127'>127</span>meat, clothes, nor fire. It becomes a good coat well; but it +will never make one. Poets are verbal musicians, and, like +other musicians, they have a right to sing and play, where they +can be best paid for their music.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> There could be no objection to that, if they +would be content to announce themselves as dealers and +chapmen: but the poetical character is too frequently a combination +of the most arrogant and exclusive assumption of +freedom and independence in theory, with the most abject and +unqualified venality, servility, and sycophancy in practice.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> It is <em>as notorious</em>, sir, <em>as the sun at noonday</em>, +that theory and practice are never expected to coincide. +If a West Indian planter declaims against the Algerines, do +you expect him to lose any favourable opportunity of increasing +the number of his own slaves? If an invaded country cries +out against spoliation, do you suppose, if the tables were turned, +it would show its weaker neighbours the forbearance it required? +If an Opposition orator clamours for a reform in Parliament, +does any one dream that, if he gets into office, he will ever say +another word about it? If one of your reverend friends should +display his touching eloquence on the subject of temperance, +would you therefore have the barbarity to curtail him of one +drop of his three bottles? Truth and liberty, sir, are pretty +words, very pretty words—a few years ago they were the gods +of the day—they superseded in poetry the agency of mythology +and magic: they were the only passports into the poetical +market: I acted accordingly the part of a prudent man: I took +my station, became my own crier, and vociferated Truth and +Liberty, till the noise I made brought people about me, to bid +for me: and to the highest bidder I knocked myself down, at +less than I am worth certainly; but when an article is not +likely to keep, it is by no means prudent to postpone the sale.</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>What makes all doctrines plain and clear?</div> + <div class='line'>About two hundred pounds a year.—</div> + <div class='line'>And that which was proved true before,</div> + <div class='line'>Prove false again?—Two hundred more.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Hippy.</em> A dry discussion! Pass the bottle, and +moisten it.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. O’Scarum.</em> Here’s half of us fast asleep. Let us +make a little noise to wake us. A glee now: I’ll be one: +who’ll join?</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_128'>128</span><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> I.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Portpipe.</em> And I.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Hippy.</em> Strike up then. Silence!</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in16'><span class='sc'>Glee</span>—THE GHOSTS</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>In life three ghostly friars were we,</div> + <div class='line'>And now three friarly ghosts we be.</div> + <div class='line'>Around our shadowy table placed,</div> + <div class='line'>The spectral bowl before us floats:</div> + <div class='line'>With wine that none but ghosts can taste</div> + <div class='line'>We wash our unsubstantial throats.</div> + <div class='line'>Three merry ghosts—three merry ghosts—three merry ghosts are we:</div> + <div class='line'>Let the ocean be Port, and we’ll think it good sport</div> + <div class='line'>To be laid in that Red Sea.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>With songs that jovial spectres chaunt,</div> + <div class='line'>Our old refectory still we haunt.</div> + <div class='line'>The traveller hears our midnight mirth:</div> + <div class='line'>‘O list!’ he cries, ‘the haunted choir!</div> + <div class='line'>The merriest ghost that walks the earth</div> + <div class='line'>Is sure the ghost of a ghostly friar.’</div> + <div class='line'>Three merry ghosts—three merry ghosts—three merry ghosts are we:</div> + <div class='line'>Let the ocean be Port, and we’ll think it good sport</div> + <div class='line'>To be laid in that Red Sea.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Hippy.</em> Bravo! I should like to have my house so +haunted. The deuce is in it, if three such ghosts would not +keep the blue devils at bay. Come, we’ll lay them in a bumper +of claret.</p> + +<p class='c007'>(<em>Sir Oran Haut-ton took his flute from his pocket, and +played over the air of the glee. The company was at first +extremely surprised, and then joined in applauding his performance. +Sir Oran bowed acknowledgment, and returned his flute +to his pocket.</em>)</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> It is, perhaps, happy for yourself, Mr. +Feathernest, that you can treat with so much levity a subject +that fills me with the deepest grief. Man under the influence +of civilisation has fearfully diminished in size and deteriorated +in strength. The intellectual are confessedly nourished at the +expense of the physical faculties. Air, the great source and +fountain of health and life, can scarcely find access to civilised +<span class='pageno' id='Page_129'>129</span>man, muffled as he is in clothes, pent in houses, smoke-dried +in cities, half-roasted by artificial fire, and parboiled in the +hydrogen of crowded apartments. Diseases multiply upon him +in compound proportion. Even if the prosperous among us +enjoy some comforts unknown to the natural man, yet what is +the poverty of the savage, compared with that of the lowest +classes of civilised nations? The specious aspect of luxury and +abundance in one is counterbalanced by the abject penury and +circumscription of hundreds. Commercial prosperity is a golden +surface, but all beneath it is rags and wretchedness. It is not +in the splendid bustle of our principal streets—in the villas and +mansions that sprinkle our valleys—for those who enjoy these +things (even if they did enjoy them—even if they had health and +happiness—and the rich have seldom either) bear but a small proportion +to the whole population:—but it is in the mud hovel of +the labourer—in the cellar of the artisan—in our crowded prisons—our +swarming hospitals—our overcharged workhouses—in +those narrow districts of our overgrown cities which the affluent +never see—where thousands and thousands of families are compressed +within limits not sufficient for the pleasure-ground of a +simple squire,—that we must study the true mechanism of +political society. When the philosopher turns away in despair +from this dreadful accumulation of moral and physical evil, where +is he to look for consolation, if not in the progress of science, in +the enlargement of mind, in the diffusion of philosophical truth? +But if truth is a chimaera—if virtue is a name—if science is not +the handmaid of moral improvement, but the obsequious minister +of recondite luxury, the specious appendage of vanity and power—then +indeed, <em>that man has fallen never to rise again</em>,<a id='r46'></a><a href='#f46' class='c012'><sup>[46]</sup></a> is as +much the cry of nature as the dream of superstition.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Portpipe.</em> Man has fallen, certainly, by the +fruit of the tree of knowledge: which shows that human +learning is vanity and a great evil, and therefore very properly +discountenanced by all bishops, priests, and deacons.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> The picture which you have drawn of poverty +is not very tempting; and you must acknowledge that it is +most galling to the most refined feelings. You must not, +therefore, wonder that it is peculiarly obnoxious to the practical +notions of poets. If the radiance of gold and silver gleam not +<span class='pageno' id='Page_130'>130</span>through the foliage of the Pierian laurel, there is something to +be said in their excuse if they carry their chaplet to those who +will gild its leaves; and in that case they will find their best +customers and patrons among those who are ambitious of +acquiring panegyric by a more compendious method than the +troublesome practice of the virtues that deserve it.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You have quoted Juvenal, but you should +have completed the sentence: ‘If you see no glimpse of coin +in the Pierian shade, you will prefer the name and occupation +of a barber or an auctioneer.’<a id='r47'></a><a href='#f47' class='c012'><sup>[47]</sup></a> This is most just: if the +pursuits of literature, conscientiously conducted, condemn their +votary to famine, let him live by more humble, but at least by +honest, and therefore honourable occupations: he may still +devote his leisure to his favourite pursuits. If he produce but +a single volume consecrated to moral truth, its effect must be +good as far as it goes; but if he purchase leisure and luxury +by the prostitution of talent to the cause of superstition and +tyranny, every new exertion of his powers is a new outrage to +reason and virtue, and in precise proportion to those powers is +he a curse to his country and a traitor to mankind.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> A barber, sir!—a man of genius turn +barber!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. O’Scarum.</em> Troth, sir, and I think it is better he should +be in the suds himself, than help to bring his country into that +situation.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I can perceive, sir, in your exclamation the +principle that has caused so enormous a superabundance in the +number of bad books over that of good ones. The objects of +the majority of men of talent seem to be exclusively two: the +first, to convince the world of their transcendent abilities; the +second, to convert that conviction into a source of the greatest +possible pecuniary benefit to themselves. But there is no +class of men more resolutely indifferent to the moral tendency +of the means by which their ends are accomplished. Yet this +is the most extensively pernicious of all modes of dishonesty; +for that of a private man can only injure the pockets of a few +individuals (a great evil, certainly, but light in comparison); +while that of a public writer, who has previously taught the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_131'>131</span>multitude to respect his talents, perverts what is much more +valuable, the mental progress of thousands; misleading, on the +one hand, the shallow believers in his sincerity; and on the +other, stigmatising the whole literary character in the opinions +of all who see through the veil of his venality.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> All this is no reason, sir, why a man of +genius should condescend to be a barber.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> He condescends much more in being a +sycophant. The poorest barber in the poorest borough in +England, who will not sell his vote, is a much more honourable +character in the estimate of moral comparison than the most +self-satisfied dealer in courtly poetry, whose well-paid eulogiums +of licentiousness and corruption were ever re-echoed by the ‘most +sweet voices’ of hireling gazetteers and pensioned reviewers.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The summons to tea and coffee put a stop to the conversation.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_132'>132</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XVII<br> <span class='c013'>MUSIC AND DISCORD</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The evenings were beginning to give symptoms of winter, and +a large fire was blazing in the library. Mr. Forester took the +opportunity of stigmatising the use of sugar, and had the +pleasure of observing that the practice of Anthelia in this +respect was the same as his own. He mentioned his intention +of giving an anti-saccharine festival at Redrose Abbey, and +invited all the party at Melincourt to attend it. He observed +that his aunt, Miss Evergreen, who would be there at the time, +would send an invitation in due form to the ladies, to remove +all scruples on the score of propriety; and added, that if he +could hope for the attendance of half as much moral feeling as +he was sure there would be of beauty and fashion, he should +be satisfied that a great step would be made towards accomplishing +the object of the Anti-saccharine Society.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub felt extremely indignant at +Mr. Forester’s notion ‘of every real enemy to slavery being +bound by the strictest moral duty to practical abstinence from +the luxury which slavery acquires’; but when he found that +the notion was to be developed in the shape of a festival, he +determined to suspend his judgment till he had digested the +solid arguments that were to be brought forward on the +occasion.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. O’Scarum was, as usual, very clamorous for music, and +was seconded by the unanimous wish of the company, with +which Anthelia readily complied, and sang as follows:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in8'>THE FLOWER OF LOVE</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>’Tis said the rose is Love’s own flower,</div> + <div class='line'>Its blush so bright, its thorns so many;</div> + <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_133'>133</span>And winter on its bloom has power,</div> + <div class='line'>But has not on its sweetness any.</div> + <div class='line'>For though young Love’s ethereal rose</div> + <div class='line'>Will droop on Age’s wintry bosom,</div> + <div class='line'>Yet still its faded leaves disclose</div> + <div class='line'>The fragrance of their earliest blossom.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>But ah! the fragrance lingering there</div> + <div class='line'>Is like the sweets that mournful duty</div> + <div class='line'>Bestows with sadly-soothing care,</div> + <div class='line'>To deck the grave of bloom and beauty.</div> + <div class='line'>For when its leaves are shrunk and dry,</div> + <div class='line'>Its blush extinct, to kindle never,</div> + <div class='line'>That fragrance is but Memory’s sigh,</div> + <div class='line'>That breathes of pleasures past for ever.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Why did not Love the amaranth choose,</div> + <div class='line'>That bears no thorns, and cannot perish?</div> + <div class='line'>Alas! no sweets its flowers diffuse,</div> + <div class='line'>And only sweets Love’s life can cherish.</div> + <div class='line'>But be the rose and amaranth twined,</div> + <div class='line'>And Love, their mingled powers assuming,</div> + <div class='line'>Shall round his brows a chaplet bind,</div> + <div class='line'>For ever sweet, for ever blooming.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>‘I am afraid,’ said Mr. Derrydown, ‘the flower of modern +love is neither the rose nor the amaranth, but the <em>chrysanthemum</em>, +or <em>gold-flower</em>. If Miss Danaretta and Mr. O’Scarum will +accompany me, we will sing a little harmonised ballad, something +in point, and rather more conformable to the truth of +things.’ Mr. O’Scarum and Miss Danaretta consented, and +they accordingly sang the following:—</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Ballad Terzetto</span>—THE LADY, THE KNIGHT, AND THE FRIAR</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in14'>THE LADY</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in2'>O cavalier! what dost thou here,</div> + <div class='line in2'>Thy tuneful vigils keeping;</div> + <div class='line in2'>While the northern star looks cold from far,</div> + <div class='line in2'>And half the world is sleeping?</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in14 c003'>THE KNIGHT</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in2'>O lady! here, for seven long year,</div> + <div class='line in2'>Have I been nightly sighing,</div> + <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_134'>134</span>Without the hope of a single tear</div> + <div class='line in2'>To pity me were I dying.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in14 c003'>THE LADY</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in2'>Should I take thee to have and to hold,</div> + <div class='line in2'>Who hast nor lands nor money?</div> + <div class='line in2'>Alas! ’tis only in flowers of gold</div> + <div class='line in2'>That married bees find honey.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in14 c003'>THE KNIGHT</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in2'>O lady fair! to my constant prayer</div> + <div class='line in2'>Fate proves at last propitious:</div> + <div class='line in2'>And bags of gold in my hand I bear,</div> + <div class='line in2'>And parchment scrolls delicious.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in14 c003'>THE LADY</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in2'>My maid the door shall open throw,</div> + <div class='line in2'>For we too long have tarried:</div> + <div class='line in2'>The friar keeps watch in the cellar below,</div> + <div class='line in2'>And we will at once be married.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in14 c003'>THE FRIAR</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in2'>My children! great is Fortune’s power;</div> + <div class='line in2'>And plain this truth appears,</div> + <div class='line in2'>That gold thrives more in a single hour</div> + <div class='line in2'>Than love in seven long years.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>During this terzetto the Reverend Mr. Portpipe fell asleep, +and accompanied the performance with rather a deeper bass +than was generally deemed harmonious.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Sir Telegraph Paxarett took Mr. Forester aside, to consult +him on the subject of the journey to Onevote.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I have asked,’ said he, ‘my aunt and cousin, Mrs. and +Miss Pinmoney, to join the party, and have requested them to +exert their influence with Miss Melincourt to induce her to +accompany them.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘That would make it a delightful expedition, indeed,’ said +Mr. Forester, ‘if Miss Melincourt could be prevailed on to +comply.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘<i><span lang="la">Nil desperandum</span></i>,’ said Sir Telegraph.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The Honourable Mrs. Pinmoney drew Anthelia into a +corner, and developed all her eloquence in enforcing the proposition. +Miss Danaretta joined in it with great earnestness; +<span class='pageno' id='Page_135'>135</span>and they kept up the fire of their importunity till they extorted +from Anthelia a promise that she would consider of it.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester took down a splendid edition of Tasso, printed +by Bodoni at Parma, and found it ornamented with Anthelia’s +drawings. In the magic of her pencil the wild and wonderful +scenes of Tasso seemed to live under his eyes: he could not +forbear expressing to her the delight he experienced from these +new proofs of her sensibility and genius, and entered into a +conversation with her concerning her favourite poet, in which +the congeniality of their tastes and feelings became more and +more manifest to each other.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Feathernest and Mr. Derrydown got into a hot dispute +over Chapman’s <cite>Homer</cite> and Jeremy Taylor’s <cite>Holy Living</cite>: +Mr. Derrydown maintaining that the ballad metre which +Chapman had so judiciously chosen rendered his volume the +most divine poem in the world; Mr. Feathernest asserting +that Chapman’s verses were mere doggerel: which vile aspersion +Mr. Derrydown revenged by depreciating Mr. Feathernest’s +favourite Jeremy. Mr. Feathernest said he could +expect no better judgment from a man who was mad enough +to prefer <cite>Chevy Chase</cite> to <cite>Paradise Lost</cite>; and Mr. Derrydown +retorted, that it was idle to expect either taste or justice from +one who had thought fit to unite in himself two characters so +anomalous as those of a poet and a critic, in which duplex +capacity he had first deluged the world with torrents of +execrable verses, and then written anonymous criticisms to +prove them divine. ‘Do you think, sir,’ he continued, ‘that +it is possible for the same man to be both Homer and Aristotle? +No, sir; but it is very possible to be both Dennis and Colley +Cibber, as in the melancholy example before me.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>At this all the blood of the <em>genus irritabile</em> boiled in Mr. +Feathernest’s veins, and uplifting the ponderous folio, he +seemed inclined to bury his antagonist under Jeremy’s <em>weight +of words</em>, by applying them in a <em>tangible shape</em>; but wisely +recollecting that this was not the time and place</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>To prove his doctrine orthodox</div> + <div class='line'>By apostolic blows and knocks,</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>he contented himself with a point-blank denial of the charge +that he wrote critiques on his own works, protesting that all +the articles on his poems were written either by his friend Mr. +<span class='pageno' id='Page_136'>136</span>Mystic, of Cimmerian Lodge, or by Mr. Vamp, the amiable +editor of the <cite>Legitimate Review</cite>. ‘Yes,’ said Mr. Derrydown, +‘on the “<em>Tickle me, Mr. Hayley</em>” principle; by which a +miserable cabal of doggerel rhymesters and worn-out paragraph-mongers +of bankrupt gazettes ring the eternal changes of +panegyric on each other, and on everything else that is either +rich enough to buy their praise, or vile enough to deserve it: +like a gang in a country steeple, paid for being a public +nuisance, and maintaining that noise is melody.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Feathernest on this became perfectly outrageous; and +waving Jeremy Taylor in the air, exclaimed, ‘<em>Oh that mine enemy +had written a book!</em> Horrible should be the vengeance of the +<cite>Legitimate Review</cite>!’</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Hippy now deemed it expedient to interpose for the +restoration of order, and entreated Anthelia to throw in a little +musical harmony as a sedative to the ebullitions of a poetical +discord. At the sound of the harp the antagonists turned +away, the one flourishing his Chapman and the other his +Jeremy with looks of lofty defiance.</p> + +<div id='i_138' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_138'>138</span> +<img src='images/i_138.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>He managed so skilfully that his Lordship became himself the proposer of the scheme.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_139'>139</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XVIII<br> <span class='c013'>THE STRATAGEM</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub, who had acquired a great +proficiency in the art of hearing without seeming to listen, had +overheard Mrs. Pinmoney’s request to Anthelia; and, notwithstanding +the young lady’s hesitation, he very much feared she +would ultimately comply. He had seen, much against his will, +a great congeniality in feelings and opinions between her and +Mr. Forester, and had noticed some unconscious external +manifestations of the interior mind on both sides, some outward +and visible signs of the inward and spiritual sentiment, which +convinced him that a more intimate acquaintance with each +other would lead them to a conclusion, which, for the reasons +we have given in the ninth chapter, he had no wish to see +established. After long and mature deliberation, he determined +to rouse Lord Anophel to a sense of his danger, and spirit him +up to an immediate <em>coup-de-main</em>. He calculated that, as the +young Lord was a spoiled child, immoderately vain, passably +foolish, and totally unused to contradiction, he should have +little difficulty in moulding him to his views. His plan was, +that Lord Anophel, with two or three confidential fellows, +should lie in ambush for Anthelia in one of her solitary rambles, +and convey her to a lonely castle of his Lordship’s on the seacoast, +with a view of keeping her in close custody, till fair +means or foul should induce her to regain her liberty in the +character of Lady Achthar. This was to be Lord Anophel’s +view of the subject; but the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub had in +the inner cave of his perceptions a very promising image of a +different result. As he would have free access to Anthelia in +her confinement, he intended to worm himself into her favour, +under the cover of friendship and sympathy, with the most +<span class='pageno' id='Page_140'>140</span>ardent professions of devotion to her cause and promises of +endeavours to effect her emancipation, involving the accomplishment +of this object in a multitude of imaginary difficulties, +which it should be his professed study to vanquish. He +deemed it very probable that, by a skilful adoperation of these +means, and by moulding Lord Anophel, at the same time, +into a system of conduct as disagreeable as possible to Anthelia, +he might himself become the lord and master of the lands and +castle of Melincourt, when he would edify the country with the +example of his truly orthodox life, faring sumptuously every +day, raising the rents of his tenants, turning out all who were +in arrear, and occasionally treating the rest with discourses on +temperance and charity.</p> + +<p class='c007'>With these ideas in his head, he went in search of Lord +Anophel, and proceeding <em>pedetentim</em>, and opening the subject +<em>peirastically</em>, he managed so skilfully that his Lordship became +himself the proposer of the scheme, with which the Reverend +Mr. Grovelgrub seemed unwillingly to acquiesce.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester, Mr. Fax, and Sir Oran Haut-ton took leave of +the party at Melincourt Castle; the former having arranged with +Sir Telegraph Paxarett that he was to call for them at Redrose +Abbey in the course of three days, and reiterated his earnest hopes +that Anthelia would be persuaded to accompany Mrs. Pinmoney +and her beautiful daughter in the expedition to Onevote.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Lord Anophel Achthar and the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub +also took leave, as a matter of policy, that their disappearance +at the same time with Anthelia might not excite surprise. They +pretended a pressing temporary engagement in a distant part +of the country, and carried off with them Mr. Feathernest the +poet, whom, nevertheless, they did not deem it prudent to let +into the secret of their scheme.</p> + +<div id='i_141' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_141.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>She thought there was something peculiar in his look.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>The next day Anthelia, still undecided on this subject, +wandered alone to the ruined bridge, to contemplate the scene +of her former misadventure. As she ascended the hill that +bounded the valley of Melincourt, a countryman crossed her +path, and touching his hat passed on. She thought there was +something peculiar in his look, but had quite forgotten him, +when, on looking back as she descended on the other side, +she observed him making signs, as if to some one at a distance: +she could not, however, consider that they had any relation to +her. The day was clear and sunny; and when she entered +<span class='pageno' id='Page_143'>143</span>the pine-grove, the gloom of its tufted foliage, with the sunbeams +chequering the dark-red soil, formed a grateful contrast +to the naked rocks and heathy mountains that lay around it, +in the full blaze of daylight. In many parts of the grove was +a luxuriant laurel underwood, glittering like silver in the partial +sunbeams that penetrated the interstices of the pines. Few +scenes in nature have a more mysterious solemnity than such +a scene as this. Anthelia paused a moment. She thought +she heard a rustling in the laurels, but all was again still. She +proceeded; the rustling was renewed. She felt alarmed, yet +she knew not why, and reproached herself for such idle and +unaccustomed apprehensions. She paused again to listen; the +soft tones of a flute sounded from a distance: these gave her +confidence, and she again proceeded. She passed by the tuft +of laurels in which she had heard the rustling. Suddenly a +mantle was thrown over her. She was wrapped in darkness, +and felt that she was forcibly seized by several persons, who +carried her rapidly along. She screamed, but the mantle was +immediately pressed on her mouth, and she was hurried onward. +After a time the party stopped: a tumult ensued: she found +herself at liberty, and threw the mantle from her head. She +was on a road at the verge of the pine-grove: a chaise-and-four +was waiting. Two men were running away in the distance: +two others, muffled and masked, were rolling on the ground, +and roaring for mercy, while Sir Oran Haut-ton was standing +over them with a stick,<a id='r48'></a><a href='#f48' class='c012'><sup>[48]</sup></a> and treating them as if he were a +thresher and they were sheaves of corn. By her side was +Mr. Forester, who, taking her hand, assured her that she was +in safety, while at the same time he endeavoured to assuage +Sir Oran’s wrath, that he might raise and unmask the fallen +foes. Sir Oran, however, proceeded in his summary administration +of natural justice till he had dispensed what was to his +notion a <i><span lang="la">quantum sufficit</span></i> of the application: then throwing his +stick aside, he caught them both up, one under each arm, and +climbing with great dexterity a high and precipitous rock, left +them perched upon its summit, bringing away their masks in +his hand, and making them a profound bow at taking leave.<a id='r49'></a><a href='#f49' class='c012'><sup>[49]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_144'>144</span>Mr. Forester was anxious to follow them to their aerial seat, +that he might ascertain who they were, which Sir Oran’s +precipitation had put it out of his power to do; but Anthelia +begged him to return with her immediately to the Castle, +assuring him that she thought them already sufficiently +punished, and had no apprehension that they would feel +tempted again to molest her.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Sir Oran now opened the chaise-door, and drew out the +postboys by the leg, who, at the beginning of the fray, had +concealed themselves from his fury under the seat. Mr. +Forester succeeded in rescuing them from Sir Oran, and +endeavoured to extract from them information as to their +employers: but the boys declared that they knew nothing of +them, the chaise having been ordered by a strange man to be +in waiting at that place, and the hire paid in advance.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Anthelia, as she walked homeward, leaning on Mr. Forester’s +arm, inquired to what happy accident she was indebted for the +timely intervention of himself and Sir Oran Haut-ton. Mr. +Forester informed her, that having a great wish to visit the +scene which had been the means of introducing him to her +acquaintance, he had made Sir Oran understand his desire, +and they had accordingly set out together, leaving Mr. Fax +at Redrose Abbey, deeply engaged in the solution of a problem +in political arithmetic.</p> + +<div id='i_145' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_145'>145</span> +<img src='images/i_145.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>He caught them both up, one under each arm.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_147'>147</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XIX<br> <span class='c013'>THE EXCURSION</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Anthelia found, from what Mr. Forester had said, that she +had excited a much greater interest in his mind than she had +previously supposed; and she did not dissemble to herself that +the interest was reciprocal. The occurrence of the morning, +by taking the feeling of safety from her solitary walks, and +unhinging her long associations with the freedom and security +of her native mountains, gave her an inclination to depart for a +time at least from Melincourt Castle; and this inclination, +combining with the wish to see more of one who appeared to +possess so much intellectual superiority to the generality of +mankind, rendered her very flexible to Mrs. Pinmoney’s wishes, +when that honourable lady renewed her solicitations to her to +join the expedition to Onevote. Anthelia, however, desired +that Mr. Hippy might be of the party, and that her going in +Sir Telegraph’s carriage should not be construed in any +degree into a reception of his addresses. The Honourable +Mrs. Pinmoney, delighted to carry her point, readily complied +with the condition, trusting to the influence of time and +intimacy to promote her own wishes and the happiness of her +dear nephew.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Hippy was so overjoyed at the project, that, in the first +ebullitions of his transport, meeting Harry Fell on the landing-place, +with a packet of medicine from Dr. Killquick, he seized +him by the arm, and made him dance a <i><span lang="fr">pas de deux</span></i>: the packet +fell to the earth, and Mr. Hippy, as he whirled old Harry +round to the tune of <cite><span lang="fr">La Belle Laitière</span></cite>, danced over that +which, but for this timely demolition, might have given his +heir an opportunity of dancing over him.</p> + +<p class='c007'>It was accordingly arranged that Sir Telegraph Paxarett, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_148'>148</span>with the ladies and Mr. Hippy, should call on the appointed +day at Redrose Abbey for Mr. Forester, Mr. Fax, and Sir +Oran Haut-ton.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Derrydown and Mr. O’Scarum were inconsolable on +the occasion, notwithstanding Mr. Hippy’s assurance that they +should very soon return, and that the hospitality of Melincourt +Castle should then be resumed under his supreme jurisdiction. +Mr. Derrydown determined to consume the interval at Keswick, +in the composition of dismal ballads; and Mr. O’Scarum to +proceed to Low-wood Inn, and drown his cares in claret with +Major O’Dogskin.</p> + +<p class='c007'>We shall pass over the interval till the arrival of the eventful +day on which Mr. Forester, from the windows of Redrose +Abbey, watched the approach of Sir Telegraph’s barouche. +The party from Melincourt arrived, as had been concerted, to +breakfast; after which, they surveyed the Abbey, and perambulated +the grounds. Mr. Forester produced the Abbot’s +skull,<a id='r50'></a><a href='#f50' class='c012'><sup>[50]</sup></a> and took occasion to expatiate very largely on the +diminution of the size of mankind; illustrating his theory by +quotations and anecdotes from Homer,<a id='r51'></a><a href='#f51' class='c012'><sup>[51]</sup></a> Herodotus<a id='r52'></a><a href='#f52' class='c012'><sup>[52]</sup></a> Arrian, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_149'>149</span>Plutarch, Philostratus, Pausanias, and Solinus Polyhistor. He +asked if it were possible that men of such a stature as they +have dwindled to in the present age could have erected that +<span class='pageno' id='Page_150'>150</span>stupendous monument of human strength, Stonehenge? in the +vicinity of which, he said, a body had been dug up, measuring +fourteen feet ten inches in length.<a id='r53'></a><a href='#f53' class='c012'><sup>[53]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_151'>151</span>The barouche bowled off from the Abbey gates, carrying +four inside, and eight out; videlicet, the Honourable Mrs. +Pinmoney, Miss Danaretta, Mr. Hippy, and Anthelia, inside; +Sir Telegraph Paxarett and Sir Oran Haut-ton on the box, the +former with his whip, and the latter with his French horn, in +the characters of coachman and guard; Mr. Forester and Mr. +Fax in the front of the roof; and Sir Telegraph’s two grooms, +with Peter Gray and Harry Fell, behind. Sir Telegraph’s +coachman, as the inside of the carriage was occupied, had +been left at Melincourt.</p> + +<p class='c007'>In addition to Sir Telegraph’s travelling library—(which +consisted of a single quarto volume, magnificently bound: +videlicet, a Greek Pindar, which Sir Telegraph always carried +with him; not that he ever read a page of it, but that he +thought such a classical inside passenger would be a perpetual +vindication of his tethrippharmatelasipedioploctypophilous +<span class='pageno' id='Page_152'>152</span>pursuits), Anthelia and Mr. Forester had taken with them a +few of their favourite authors; for, as the ancient and honourable +borough of Onevote was situated almost at the extremity +of the kingdom, and as Sir Telegraph’s diurnal stages were +necessarily limited, they had both conjectured that</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in14'>the poet’s page, by one</div> + <div class='line'>Made vocal for the amusement of the rest,</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>might furnish an agreeable evening employment in the dearth +of conversation. Anthelia also, in compliance with the general +desire, had taken her lyre, by which the reader may understand, +if he pleases, the <em>harp-lute-guitar</em>; which, whatever be +its merit as an instrument, has so unfortunate an appellation, +that we cannot think of dislocating our pages with such a +cacophonous compound.</p> + +<p class='c007'>They made but a short stage from Redrose Abbey, and +stopped for the first evening at Low-wood Inn, to the great +joy of Mr. O’Scarum and Major O’Dogskin. Mr. O’Scarum +introduced the Major; and both offered their services to assist +Mr. Hippy and Sir Telegraph Paxarett in the council they +were holding with the landlady on the eventful subject of +dinner. This being arranged, and the hour and minute +punctually specified, it was proposed to employ the interval in +a little excursion on the lake. The party was distributed in +two boats: Sir Telegraph’s grooms rowing the one, and Peter +Gray and Harry Fell the other. They rowed to the middle of +the lake, and rested on their oars. The sun sank behind the +summits of the western mountains: the clouds that, like other +mountains, rested motionless above them, crested with the +towers and battlements of aerial castles, changed by degrees +from fleecy whiteness to the deepest hues of crimson. A +solitary cloud, resting on an eastern pinnacle, became tinged +with the reflected splendour of the west: the clouds overhead +spreading, like a uniform veil of network, through the interstices +of which the sky was visible, caught in their turn the radiance, +and reflected it on the lake, that lay in its calm expanse like a +mirror, imaging with such stillness and accuracy the forms and +colours of all around and above it, that it seemed as if the +waters were withdrawn by magic, and the boats floated in +crimson light between the mountains and the sky.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The whole party was silent, even the Honourable Mrs. +<span class='pageno' id='Page_153'>153</span>Pinmoney, till Mr. O’Scarum entreated Anthelia to sing +‘something neat and characteristic; or a harmony now for +three voices, would be the killing thing; eh! Major?’—‘Indeed +and it would,’ said Major O’Dogskin; ‘there’s something +very soft and pathetic in a cool evening on the water, to +sit still doing nothing at all but listening to pretty words and +tender melodies.’ And lest the sincerity of his opinion should +be questioned, he accompanied it with an emphatical oath, to +show that he was in earnest; for which the Honourable Mrs. +Pinmoney called him to order.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Major O’Dogskin explained.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Anthelia, accompanied by Miss Danaretta and Mr. +O’Scarum, sang the following</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in20'>TERZETTO</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in3'>1. Hark! o’er the silent waters stealing,</div> + <div class='line in8'>The dash of oars sounds soft and clear:</div> + <div class='line in6'>Through night’s deep veil, all forms concealing,</div> + <div class='line in8'>Nearer it comes, and yet more near.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in3'>2. See! where the long reflection glistens,</div> + <div class='line in8'>In yon lone tower her watch-light burns:</div> + <div class='line in3'>3. To hear our distant oars she listens,</div> + <div class='line in8'>And, listening, strikes the harp by turns.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in3'>1. The stars are bright, the skies unclouded;</div> + <div class='line in8'>No moonbeam shines; no breezes wake.</div> + <div class='line in6'>Is it my love, in darkness shrouded,</div> + <div class='line in8'>Whose dashing oar disturbs the lake?</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in3'>2. O haste, sweet maid, the cords unrolling;</div> + <div class='line in3'>1. The holy hermit chides our stay!</div> + <div class='line'>2. 3. Hark! from his lonely islet tolling,</div> + <div class='line in8'>His midnight bell shall guide our way.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>Sir Oran Haut-ton now produced his flute, and treated the +company with a solo. Another pause succeeded. The contemplative +silence was broken by Major O’Dogskin, who began +to fidget about in the boat, and drawing his watch from his +fob held it up to Mr. Hippy, and asked him if he did not think +the partridges would be spoiled? ‘To be sure they will,’ said +Mr. Hippy, ‘unless we make the best of our way. Cold +<span class='pageno' id='Page_154'>154</span>comfort this, after all: sharp air and water;—give me a roaring +fire and a six-bottle cooper of claret.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The oars were dashed into the water, and the fairy reflections +of clouds, rocks, woods, and mountains were mingled in +the confusion of chaos. The reader will naturally expect that, +having two lovers on a lake, we shall not lose the opportunity +of throwing the lady into the water, and making the gentleman +fish her out; but whether that our Thalia is too veridicous to +permit this distortion of facts, or that we think it the more +original incident to return them to the shore as dry as they +left it, the reader must submit to the disappointment, and be +content to see the whole party comfortably seated, without let, +hindrance, or molestation, at a very excellent dinner, served up +under the judicious inspection of mine hostess of Low-wood.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The heroes and heroines of Homer used to eat and drink +all day till the setting sun;<a id='r54'></a><a href='#f54' class='c012'><sup>[54]</sup></a> and by dint of industry, contrived +to finish that important business by the usual period at +which modern beaux and belles begin it—who are, therefore, +necessitated, like Penelope, to sit up all night; not, indeed, to +destroy the works of the day, for how can nothing be annihilated? +This does not apply to all our party, and we hope not +to many of our readers.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_155'>155</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XX<br> <span class='c013'>THE SEA-SHORE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>They stopped the next evening at a village on the sea-shore. +The wind rose in the night, but without rain. Mr. Forester +was up before the sun, and descending to the beach, found +Anthelia there before him, sitting on a rock, and listening to +the dash of the waves, like a Nereid to Triton’s shell.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You are an early riser, Miss Melincourt.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> I always was so. The morning is the infancy +of the day, and, like the infancy of life, has health and bloom, +and cheerfulness and purity, in a degree unknown to the busy +noon, which is the season of care, or the languid evening, +which is the harbinger of repose. Perhaps the song of the +nightingale is not in itself less cheerful than that of the lark: +it is the season of her song that invests it with the character +of melancholy.<a id='r55'></a><a href='#f55' class='c012'><sup>[55]</sup></a> It is the same with the associations of +infancy: it is all cheerfulness, all hope: its path is on the +flowers of an untried world. The daisy has more beauty in +the eye of childhood than the rose in that of maturer life. The +spring is the infancy of the year: its flowers are the flowers of +promise and the darlings of poetry. The autumn, too, has its +flowers; but they are little loved, and little praised: for the +associations of autumn are not with ideas of cheerfulness, but +<span class='pageno' id='Page_156'>156</span>with yellow leaves and hollow winds, heralds of winter and +emblems of dissolution.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> These reflections have more in them of the +autumn than of the morning. But the mornings of autumn +participate in the character of the season.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> They do so; yet even in mists and storms the +opening must be always more cheerful than the closing day.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> But this morning is fine and clear, and the +wind blows over the sea. Yet this, to me at least, is not a +cheerful scene.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> Nor to me. But our long habits of association +with the sound of the winds and the waters have given them +to us a voice of melancholy majesty: a voice not audible by +those little children who are playing yonder on the shore. +To them all scenes are cheerful. It is the morning of life: it +is infancy that makes them so.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Fresh air and liberty are all that is necessary +to the happiness of children. In that blissful age ‘when nature’s +self is new,’ the bloom of interest and beauty is found alike in +every object of perception—in the grass of the meadow, the +moss on the rock, and the seaweed on the sand. They find +gems and treasures in shells and pebbles; and the gardens +of fairyland in the simplest flowers. They have no melancholy +associations with autumn or with evening. The +falling leaves are their playthings; and the setting sun +only tells them that they must go to rest as he does, and +that he will light them to their sports in the morning. It is +this bloom of novelty, and the pure, unclouded, unvitiated +feelings with which it is contemplated, that throw such an +unearthly radiance on the scenes of our infancy, however +humble in themselves, and give a charm to their recollections +which not even Tempe can compensate. It is the force +of first impressions. The first meadow in which we gather +cowslips, the first stream on which we sail, the first home in +which we awake to the sense of human sympathy, have all a +peculiar and exclusive charm, which we shall never find again +in richer meadows, mightier rivers, and more magnificent +dwellings; nor even in themselves, when we revisit them after +the lapse of years, and the sad realities of noon have dissipated +the illusions of sunrise. It is the same, too, with first +love, whatever be the causes that render it unsuccessful: the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_159'>159</span>second choice may have just preponderance in the balance of +moral estimation; but the object of first affection, of all the +perceptions of our being, will be most divested of the attributes +of mortality. The magical associations of infancy are revived +with double power in the feelings of first love; but when they +too have departed, then, indeed, the light of the morning is +gone.</p> + +<div id='i_158' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_158.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Their conversation was interrupted by the appearance of Mr. Hippy.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><span lang="it">Pensa che questo di mai non raggiorna!</span></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> If this be so, let me never be the object of a +second choice: let me never love, or love but once.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> The object of a second choice you cannot be +with any one who will deserve your love; for to have loved any +other woman, would show a heart too lightly captivated to be +worthy of yours. The only mind that can deserve to love you +is one that would never have known love if it never had +known you.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Anthelia and Mr. Forester were both so unfashionably +sincere, that they would probably, in a very few minutes, have +confessed to each other more than they had till that morning, +perhaps, confessed to themselves, but that their conversation +was interrupted by the appearance of Mr. Hippy fuming for +his breakfast, accompanied by Sir Telegraph cracking his +whip, and Sir Oran blowing the réveillée on his French horn.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘So ho!’ exclaimed Sir Telegraph; ‘Achilles and Thetis, I +protest, consulting on the sea-shore.’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> Do you mean to say, Sir Telegraph, that I am +old enough to be Mr. Forester’s mother?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> No, no; that is no part of the +comparison; but we are the ambassadors of Agamemnon +(videlicet, Mr. Fax, whom we left very busily arranging the +urns, not of lots by the bye, but of tea and coffee); here is old +Phoenix on one side of me, and Ajax on the other.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> And you of course are the wise Ulysses.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> There the simile fails again. +<i><span lang="la">Comparatio non urgenda</span></i>, as I think Heyne used to say, before +I was laughed out of reading at College.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You should have found me too, if you call +me Achilles, solacing my mind with music, φρενα τερπομενον +φορμιγγι λιγειῃ; but, to make amends for the deficiency, you +have brought me a musical Ajax.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_160'>160</span><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> You have no reason to wish even +for the golden lyre of my old friend Pindar himself: you have +been listening to the music of the winds and the waters, and +to what is more than music, the voice of Miss Melincourt.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Hippy.</em> And there is a very pretty concert waiting for +you at the inn—the tinkling of cups and spoons, and the divine +song of the tea-urn.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_161'>161</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXI<br> <span class='c013'>THE CITY OF NOVOTE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>On the evening of the tenth day the barouche rattled triumphantly +into the large and populous city of Novote, which +was situated at a short distance from the ancient and honourable +borough of Onevote. The city contained fifty thousand +inhabitants, and had no representative in the Honourable House, +the deficiency being virtually supplied by the two members for +Onevote; who, having no affairs to attend to for the borough, +or rather the burgess, that did return them, were supposed to +have more leisure for those of the city which did not; a system +somewhat analogous to that which the learned author of +<em>Hermes</em> calls <em>a method of supply by negation</em>.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Sir Oran signalised his own entrance by playing on his +French horn, <em>See the conquering hero comes!</em> Bells were ringing, +ale was flowing, mobs were huzzaing, and it seemed as if +the inhabitants of the large and populous city were satisfied of +the truth of the admirable doctrine, that the positive representation +of one individual is a virtual representation of fifty +thousand. They found afterwards that all this festivity had +been set in motion by Sir Oran’s brother candidate, Simon +Sarcastic, Esq., to whom we shall shortly introduce our +readers.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The barouche stopped at the door of a magnificent inn, and +the party was welcomed with some scores of bows from the +whole <em>corps d’hôtel</em>, with the fat landlady in the van, and Boots +in the rear. They were shown into a splendid apartment, a +glorious fire was kindled in a minute, and while Mr. Hippy +looked over the bill of fare, and followed mine hostess to +inspect the state of the larder, Sir Telegraph proceeded to <em>peel</em>, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_162'>162</span>and emerged from his four <em>benjamins</em>, like a butterfly from its +chrysalis.</p> + +<p class='c007'>After dinner they formed, as usual, a semicircle round the +fire, with the table in front supported by Mr. Hippy and Sir +Telegraph Paxarett.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Now this,’ said Sir Telegraph, rubbing his hands, ‘is what +I call devilish comfortable after a cold day’s drive—an excellent +inn, a superb fire, charming company, and better wine +than has fallen to our lot since we left Melincourt Castle.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The waiter had picked up from the conversation at dinner +that one of the destined members for Onevote was in the +company; and communicated this intelligence to Mr. Sarcastic, +who was taking his solitary bottle in another apartment. Mr. +Sarcastic sent his compliments to Sir Oran Haut-ton, and +hoped he would allow his future colleague the honour of being +admitted to join his party. Mr. Hippy, Mr. Forester, and Sir +Telegraph, undertook to answer for Sir Oran, who was silent +on the occasion: Mr. Sarcastic was introduced, and took his +seat in the semicircle.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Your future colleague, Mr. Sarcastic, +is <em>a man of few words</em>; but he will join in a bumper to +your better acquaintance. (<em>The collision of glasses ensued +between Sir Oran and Mr. Sarcastic.</em>)</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> I am proud of the opportunity of this introduction. +The day after to-morrow is fixed for the election. +I have made some preparations to give a little <em>éclat</em> to the +affair, and have begun by intoxicating half the city of Novote, +so that we shall have a great crowd at the scene of election, +whom I intend to harangue from the hustings, on the great +benefits and blessings of virtual representation.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I shall, perhaps, take the opportunity of +addressing them also, but with a different view of the subject.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> Perhaps our views of the subject are not +radically different, and the variety is in the mode of treatment. +In my ordinary intercourse with the world I reduce practice +to theory; it is a habit, I believe, peculiar to myself, and a +source of inexhaustible amusement.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Fill and explain.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> Nothing, you well know, is so rare as the +coincidence of theory and practice. A man who ‘will go +through fire and water to serve a friend’ in words, will not +<span class='pageno' id='Page_163'>163</span>give five guineas to save him from famine. A poet will write +Odes to Independence, and become the obsequious parasite +of any great man who will hire him. A burgess will hold up +one hand for purity of election, while the price of his own +vote is slily dropped into the other. I need not accumulate +instances.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You would find it difficult, I fear, to adduce +many to the contrary.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> This then is my system. I ascertain the +practice of those I talk to, and present it to them as from +myself, in the shape of theory; the consequence of which is, +that I am universally stigmatised as a promulgator of rascally +doctrines. Thus I said to Sir Oliver Oilcake, ‘When I get +into Parliament I intend to make the sale of my vote as +notorious as the sun at noonday. I will have no rule of right, +but my own pocket. I will support every measure of every +administration, even if they ruin half the nation for the purpose +of restoring the Great Lama, or of subjecting twenty millions +of people to be hanged, drawn, and quartered at the pleasure +of the man-milliner of Mahomet’s mother. I will have shiploads +of turtle and rivers of Madeira for myself, if I send the +whole swinish multitude to draff and husks.’ Sir Oliver flew +into a rage, and swore he would hold no further intercourse +with a man who maintained such infamous principles.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Hippy.</em> Pleasant enough, to show a man his own +picture, and make him damn the ugly rascal.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> I said to Miss Pennylove, whom I knew to +be <em>laying herself out for a good match</em>, ‘When my daughter +becomes of marriageable age, I shall commission Christie to +put her up to auction, “the highest bidder to be the buyer; and +if any dispute arise between two or more bidders, the lot to be +put up again and resold.”’ Miss Pennylove professed herself +utterly amazed and indignant that any man, and a father +especially, should imagine a scheme so outrageous to the +dignity and delicacy of the female mind.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Honourable Mrs. Pinmoney and Miss Danaretta.</em> A +most horrid idea certainly.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> The fact, my dear ladies, the fact; how +stands the fact? Miss Pennylove afterwards married a man +old enough to be her grandfather, for no other reason but +because he was rich; and broke the heart of a very worthy +<span class='pageno' id='Page_164'>164</span>friend of mine, to whom she had been previously engaged, who +had no fault but the folly of loving her, and was quite rich +enough for all purposes of matrimonial happiness. How the +dignity and delicacy of such a person could have been affected, +if the preliminary negotiation with her hobbling Strephon had +been conducted through the instrumentality of honest Christie’s +hammer, I cannot possibly imagine.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Hippy.</em> Nor I, I must say. All the difference is in +the form, and not in the fact. It is a pity that form does not +come into fashion; it would save a world of trouble.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> I irreparably offended the Reverend Doctor +Vorax by telling him, that having a nephew, whom I wished +to shine in the church, I was on the look-out for a luminous +butler, and a cook of solid capacity, under whose joint tuition +he might graduate. ‘Who knows,’ said I, ‘but he may immortalise +himself at the University, by giving his name to a +pudding?’—I lost the acquaintance of Mrs. Cullender, by +saying to her, when she had told me a piece of gossip as a +very particular secret, that there was nothing so agreeable to +me as to be in possession of a secret, for I made a point of +telling it to all my acquaintance;</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Intrusted under solemn vows,</div> + <div class='line'>Of Mum, and Silence, and the Rose,</div> + <div class='line'>To be retailed again in whispers,</div> + <div class='line'>For the easy credulous to disperse.<a id='r56'></a><a href='#f56' class='c012'><sup>[56]</sup></a></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>Mrs. Cullender left me in great wrath, protesting she would +never again throw away <em>her</em> confidence on so leaky a vessel.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Ha! ha! ha! Bravo! Come, a +bumper to Mrs. Cullender.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> With all my heart; and another if you +please to Mr. Christopher Corporate, the free, fat, and dependent +burgess of Onevote, of which ‘plural unit’ the Honourable +Baronet and myself are to be the joint representatives. (<em>Sir +Oran Haut-ton bowed.</em>)</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Hippy.</em> And a third, by all means, to his Grace the +Duke of Rottenburgh.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> And a fourth, to crown all, to <em>the blessings +of virtual representation</em>, which I shall endeavour to impress +on as many of the worthy citizens of Novote as shall think fit +<span class='pageno' id='Page_165'>165</span>to be present, the day after to-morrow, at the proceedings of +the borough of Onevote.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> And now for tea and coffee. +Touch the bell for the waiter.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The bottles and glasses vanished, and the beautiful array of +urns and cups succeeded. Sir Telegraph and Mr. Hippy +seceded from the table, and resigned their stations to Mrs. +and Miss Pinmoney.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Your system is sufficiently amusing, but I +much question its utility. The object of moral censure is +reformation, and its proper vehicle is plain and fearless +sincerity: <span class='sc'><span lang="la">Verba animi proferre, et vitam impendere +vero</span></span>.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> I tried that in my youth, when I was +troubled with the <em>passion for reforming the world</em>;<a id='r57'></a><a href='#f57' class='c012'><sup>[57]</sup></a> of which +I have been long cured by the conviction of the inefficacy of +moral theory with respect to producing a practical change in +the mass of mankind. Custom is the pillar round which +opinion twines, and interest is the tie that binds it. It is not +by reason that practical change can be effected, but by making +a puncture to the quick in the feelings of personal hope and +personal fear. The Reformation in England is one of the +supposed triumphs of reason. But if the passions of Henry +the Eighth had not been interested in that measure, he would +as soon have built mosques as pulled down abbeys; and you +will observe that, in all cases, reformation never goes as far as +reason requires, but just as far as suits the personal interest of +those who conduct it. Place Temperance and Bacchus side +by side, in an assembly of jolly fellows, and endow the first +with the most powerful eloquence that mere reason can give, +with the absolute moral force of mathematical demonstration, +Bacchus need not take the trouble of refuting one of her +arguments; he will only have to say, ‘Come, my boys, here’s +<em>Damn Temperance</em> in a bumper,’ and you may rely on the +toast being drunk with an unanimous three times three.</p> + +<p class='c007'>(<em>At the sound of the word</em> bumper, <em>with which Captain +Hawltaught had made him very familiar, Sir Oran Haut-ton +looked round for his glass, but, finding it vanished, comforted +himself with a dish of tea from the fair hand of Miss Danaretta, +which, as his friend Mr. Forester had interdicted him from the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_166'>166</span>use of sugar, he sweetened as well as he could with a copious +infusion of cream</em>.)<a id='r58'></a><a href='#f58' class='c012'><sup>[58]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> As an Opposition orator in the +Honourable House will bring forward a long detail of unanswerable +arguments, without even expecting that they will +have the slightest influence on the vote of the majority.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> A reform of that honourable body, if ever +it should take place, will be one of the ‘<em>triumphs of reason</em>.’ +But reason will have little to do with it. All that reason can +say on the subject has been said for years, by men of all +parties—while they were <em>out</em>; but the moment they were <em>in</em>, +the moment their own interest came in contact with their own +reason, the victory of interest was never for a moment doubtful. +While the great fountain of interest, rising in the caverns of +borough patronage and ministerial influence, flowed through +the whole body of the kingdom in channels of paper-money, +and loans, and contracts, and jobs, and places either found or +made for the useful dealers in secret services, so long the predominant +interests of corruption overpowered the true and +permanent interests of the country; but as those channels +become dry, and they are becoming so with fearful rapidity, +the crew of every boat that is left aground are convinced, not +by reason—that they had long heard and despised—but by +the unexpected pressure of personal suffering, that they had +been going on in the wrong way. Thus the reaction of +interest takes place; and when the concentrated interests of +thousands, combined by the same pressure of personal suffering, +shall have created an independent power, greater than the +power of the interest of corruption, then, and not till then, the +latter will give way, and this will be called the triumph of +reason; though, in truth, like all the changes in human society +that have ever taken place from the birthday of the world, it +will be only the triumph of one mode of interest over another; +but as the triumph in this case will be of the interest of the +many over that of the few, it is certainly a consummation +devoutly to be wished.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> If I should admit that ‘the hope of personal +advantage, and the dread of personal punishment,’ are the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_167'>167</span>only springs that set the mass of mankind in action, the +inefficacy of reason, and the inutility of moral theory, will by +no means follow from the admission. The progress of truth is +slow, but its ultimate triumph is secure; though its immediate +effects may be rendered almost imperceptible by the power of +habit and interest. If the philosopher cannot reform his own +times, he may lay the foundation of amendment in those that +follow. Give currency to reason, improve the moral code of +society, and the theory of one generation will be the practice +of the next. After a certain period of life, and that no very +advanced one, men in general become perfectly unpersuadable +to all practical purposes. Few philosophers, therefore, I +believe, expect to produce much change in the habits of their +contemporaries, as Plato proposed to banish from his republic +all above the age of ten, and give a good education to the rest.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Sarcastic.</em> Or, as Heraclitus the Ephesian proposed +to his countrymen, that all above the age of fourteen should +hang themselves, before he would consent to give laws to the +remainder.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_168'>168</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXII<br> <span class='c013'>THE BOROUGH OF ONEVOTE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The day of election arrived. Mr. Sarcastic’s rumoured preparations, +and the excellence of the ale which he had broached +in the city of Novote, had given a degree of <em>éclat</em> to the +election for the borough of Onevote, which it had never before +possessed; the representatives usually sliding into their +nomination with the same silence and decorum with which a +solitary spinster slides into her pew at Wednesday’s or Friday’s +prayers in a country church. The resemblance holds good +also in this respect, that, as the curate addresses the solitary +maiden with the appellation of <em>dearly beloved brethren</em>, so the +representatives always pluralised their solitary elector, by conferring +on him the appellation of <em>a respectable body of constituents</em>. +Mr. Sarcastic, however, being determined to amuse +himself at the expense of this most ‘venerable <em>feature</em>’ in our +old constitution, as Lord C. calls a rotten borough, had +brought Mr. Christopher Corporate into his views by the +adhibition of <em>persuasion in a tangible shape</em>. It was generally +known in Novote that something would be going forward at +Onevote, though nobody could tell precisely what, except that +a long train of brewer’s drays had left the city for the borough, +in grand procession, on the preceding day, under the escort of +a sworn band of special constables, who were to keep guard +over the ale all night. This detachment was soon followed by +another, under a similar escort, and with similar injunctions; +and it was understood that this second expedition of <em>frothy +rhetoric</em> was sent forth under the auspices of Sir Oran Haut-ton, +Baronet, the brother candidate of Simon Sarcastic, +Esquire, for the representation of the ancient and honourable +borough.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_169'>169</span>The borough of Onevote stood in the middle of a heath, +and consisted of a solitary farm, of which the land was so +poor and untractable, that it would not have been worth the +while of any human being to cultivate it, had not the Duke of +Rottenburgh found it very well worth his to pay his tenant for +living there, to keep the honourable borough in existence.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Sarcastic left the city of Novote some hours before his +new acquaintance, to superintend his preparations, followed by +crowds of persons of all descriptions, pedestrians and equestrians; +old ladies in chariots, and young ladies on donkeys; the +farmer on his hunter, and the tailor on his hack; the grocer +and his family six in a chaise; the dancing-master in his +tilbury; the banker in his tandem; mantua-makers and +servant-maids twenty-four in the waggon, fitted up for the +occasion with a canopy of evergreens; pastry-cooks, men-milliners, +and journeymen tailors, by the stage, running for +that day only, six inside and fourteen out; the sallow artisan +emerging from the cellar or the furnace, to freshen himself +with the pure breezes of Onevote Heath; the bumpkin in his +laced boots and Sunday coat, trudging through the dust with +his cherry-cheeked lass on his elbow; the gentleman coachman +on his box, with his painted charmer by his side; the lean +curate on his half-starved Rosinante; the plump bishop setting +an example of Christian humility in his carriage and six; the +doctor on his white horse, like Death in the Revelation; +and the lawyer on his black one, like the devil in the Wild +Huntsmen.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Almost in the rear of this motley cavalcade went the +barouche of Sir Telegraph Paxarett, and rolled up to the scene +of action amidst the shouts of the multitude.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The heath had very much the appearance of a race-ground; +with booths and stalls, the voices of pie-men and apple-women, +the grinding of barrel organs, the scraping of fiddles, the +squeaking of ballad-singers, the chirping of corkscrews, the +vociferations of ale-drinkers, the cries of the ‘last dying +speeches of desperate malefactors,’ and of ‘The History and +Antiquities of the honourable Borough of Onevote, a full and +circumstantial account, all in half a sheet, for the price of one +halfpenny!’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The hustings were erected in proper form, and immediately +opposite to them was an enormous marquee with a small +<span class='pageno' id='Page_170'>170</span>opening in front, in which was seated the important person of +Mr. Christopher Corporate, with a tankard of ale and a pipe. +The ladies remained in the barouche under the care of Sir +Telegraph and Mr. Hippy. Mr. Forester, Mr. Fax, and Sir +Oran Haut-ton joined Mr. Sarcastic on the hustings.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Sarcastic stepped forward amidst the shouts of the +assembled crowd, and addressed Mr. Christopher Corporate:</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Free, fat, and dependent burgess of this ancient and +honourable borough! I stand forward an unworthy candidate, +to be the representative of so important a personage, who +comprises in himself a three-hundredth part of the whole +elective capacity of this extensive empire. For if the whole +population be estimated at eleven millions, with what awe and +veneration must I look on one who is, as it were, the abstract +and quintessence of thirty-three thousand six hundred and +sixty-six people! The voice of Stentor was like the voice of +fifty, and the voice of Harry Gill<a id='r59'></a><a href='#f59' class='c012'><sup>[59]</sup></a> was like the voice of three; +but what are these to the voice of Mr. Christopher Corporate, +which gives utterance in one breath to the concentrated power +of thirty-three thousand six hundred and sixty-six voices? Of +such an one it may indeed be said, that <em>he is himself an host</em>, +and that <em>none but himself can be his parallel</em>.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Most potent, grave, and reverend signor! it is usual on +these occasions to make a great vapouring about honour and +conscience; but as those words are now generally acknowledged +to be utterly destitute of meaning, I have too much +respect for your understanding to say anything about them. +The <em>monied interest</em>, Mr. Corporate, for which you are as +illustrious <em>as the sun at noonday</em>, is the great point of connection +and sympathy between us; and no circumstances can throw +a <em>wet blanket</em> on the ardour of our reciprocal esteem, while the +<em>fundamental feature</em> of our mutual interests presents itself to us +in so <em>tangible a shape</em>.<a id='r60'></a><a href='#f60' class='c012'><sup>[60]</sup></a> How high a value I set upon your +voice, you may judge by the price I have paid for half of it; +which, indeed, deeply lodged as my feelings are in my pocket, +I yet see no reason to regret, since you will thus confer on +mine a transmutable and marketable value which I trust by +proper management will leave me no loser by the bargain.’</p> + +<div id='i_172' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_172'>172</span> +<img src='images/i_172.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p>‘<em>We shall always be deeply attentive to your interests.</em>’</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_173'>173</span>‘Huzza!’ said Mr. Corporate.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘People of the city of Novote!’ proceeded Mr. Sarcastic, +‘some of you, I am informed, consider yourselves aggrieved, +that while your large and populous city has no share whatever +in the formation of the Honourable House, the <em>plural unity</em> +of Mr. Christopher Corporate should be invested with the +privilege of double representation. But, gentlemen, representation +is of two kinds, actual and virtual; an important distinction, +and of great political consequence.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The Honourable Baronet and myself, being the actual +representatives of the fat burgess of Onevote, shall be the +virtual representatives of the worthy citizens of Novote; and +you may rely on it, gentlemen (<em>with his hand on his heart</em>), we +shall always be deeply attentive to your interests, when they +happen, as no doubt they sometimes will, to be perfectly compatible +with our own.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘A member of Parliament, gentlemen, to speak to you in +your own phrase, is a sort of staple commodity, manufactured +for home consumption. Much has been said of the improvement +of machinery in the present age, by which one man may +do the work of a dozen. If this be admirable, and admirable +it is acknowledged to be by all the civilised world, how much +more admirable is the improvement of political machinery, by +which one man does the work of thirty thousand! I am sure +I need not say another word to a great manufacturing population +like the inhabitants of the city of Novote, to convince +them of the beauty and utility of this most luminous arrangement.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The duty of a representative of the people, whether actual +or virtual, is simply <em>to tax</em>. Now this important branch of +public business is much more easily and expeditiously transacted +by the means of virtual, than it possibly could be by that +of actual representation. For when the minister draws up his +scheme of ways and means, he will do it with much more celerity +and confidence, when he knows that the propitious countenance +of virtual representation will never cease to smile upon him as +long as he continues in place, than if he had to encounter the +doubtful aspect of actual representation, which might, perhaps, +look black on some of his favourite projects, thereby greatly +impeding the distribution of secret service money at home, +and placing foreign legitimacy in a very awkward predicament. +<span class='pageno' id='Page_174'>174</span>The carriage of the state would then be like a chariot in a +forest, turning to the left for a troublesome thorn, and to the +right for a sturdy oak; whereas it now rolls forward like the +car of Juggernaut over the plain crushing whatever offers to +impede its way.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The constitution says that no man shall be taxed but by +his own consent; a very plausible theory, gentlemen, but not +reducible to practice. Who will apply a lancet to his own +arm, and bleed himself? Very few, you acknowledge. Who +then, <em>a fortiori</em>, would apply a lancet to his own pocket, and +draw off what is dearer to him than his blood—his money? +Fewer still, of course; I humbly opine, none.—What then +remains but to appoint a royal college of state surgeons, who +may operate on the patient according to their views of his +case? Taxation is political phlebotomy: the Honourable +House is, figuratively speaking, a royal college of state +surgeons. A good surgeon must have firm nerves and a +steady hand; and, perhaps, the less feeling the better. Now, +it is manifest that, as all feeling is founded on sympathy, the +fewer constituents a representative has, the less must be his +sympathy with the public, and the less, of course as is desirable, +his feeling for his patient—the people:—who, therefore, +with so much <em>sang froid</em>, can phlebotomise the nation, as the +representative of half an elector?</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Gentlemen, as long as a <em>full Gazette</em> is pleasant to the +<em>quidnunc</em>; as long as an empty purse is delightful to the +spendthrift; as long as the cry of <em>Question</em> is a satisfactory +<em>answer</em> to an argument, and to outvote reason is to refute it; +as long as the way to pay old debts is to incur new ones of +five times the amount; as long as the grand recipes of political +health and longevity are <em>bleeding</em> and <em>hot water</em>—so long must +you rejoice in the privileges of Mr. Christopher Corporate, so +long must you acknowledge from the very bottom of your +pockets the benefits and blessings of <em>virtual representation</em>.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>This harangue was received with great applause, acclamations +rent the air, and ale flowed in torrents. Mr. Forester +declined speaking, and the party on the hustings proceeded to +business. Sir Oran Haut-ton, Baronet, and Simon Sarcastic, +Esquire, were nominated in form. Mr. Christopher Corporate +held up both his hands, with his tankard in one, and his pipe +in the other; and neither poll nor scrutiny being demanded, the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_177'>177</span>two candidates were pronounced duly elected as representatives +of the ancient and honourable borough of Onevote.</p> + +<div id='i_176' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_176.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p>‘<em>Hail, plural unit!</em>’</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>The shouts were renewed; the ale flowed rapidly; the +pipe and tankard of Mr. Corporate were replenished. Sir +Oran Haut-ton, Baronet, M.P., bowed gracefully to the people +with his hand on his heart.</p> + +<p class='c007'>A cry was now raised of ‘Chair ’em! chair ’em!’ when +Mr. Sarcastic again stepped forward.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Gentlemen,’ said he, ‘a slight difficulty opposes itself to +the honour you would confer on us. The members should, +according to form, be chaired by their electors; and how can +one elector, great man as he is, chair two representatives? +But to obviate this dilemma as well as circumstances admit, +I move that the “large body corporate of one” whom the +Honourable Baronet and myself have the honour to represent, +do resolve himself into a committee.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>He had no sooner spoken, than the marquee opened, and +a number of bulky personages, all in dress, aspect, size, and +figure, very exact resemblances of Mr. Christopher Corporate, +each with his pipe and his tankard, emerged into daylight, +who, encircling their venerable prototype, lifted their tankards +high in air, and pronounced with Stentorian symphony, ‘<span class='sc'>Hail, +plural unit!</span>’ Then, after a simultaneous draught, throwing +away their pipes and tankards, for which the mob immediately +scrambled, they raised on high two magnificent chairs, and +prepared to carry into effect the last ceremony of the election. +The party on the hustings descended. Mr. Sarcastic stepped +into his chair; and his part of the procession, headed by Mr. +Christopher Corporate, and surrounded by a multiform and +many-coloured crowd, moved slowly off towards the city of +Novote, amidst the undistinguishable clamour of multitudinous +voices.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Sir Oran Haut-ton watched the progress of his precursor, +as his chair rolled and swayed over the sea of heads, like a +boat with one mast on a stormy ocean; and the more he +watched the agitation of its movements, the more his countenance +gave indications of strong dislike to the process; so that +when his seat in the second chair was offered to him, he with +a very polite bow declined the honour. The party that was +to carry him, thinking that his repugnance arose entirely from +diffidence, proceeded with gentle force to overcome his scruples, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_178'>178</span>when not precisely penetrating their motives, and indignant +at this attempt to violate the freedom of the natural man, he +seized a stick from a sturdy farmer at his elbow, and began to +lay about him with great vigour and effect. Those who +escaped being knocked down by the first sweep of his weapon +ran away with all their might, but were soon checked by the +pressure of the crowd, who, hearing the noise of conflict, and +impatient to ascertain the cause, bore down from all points +upon a common centre, and formed a circumferential pressure +that effectually prohibited the egress of those within; and +they, in their turn, in their eagerness to escape from Sir Oran +(who like Artegall’s Iron Man, or like Ajax among the Trojans, +or like Rodomonte in Paris, or like Orlando among the soldiers +of Agramant, kept clearing for himself an ample space in the +midst of the encircling crowd), waged desperate conflict with +those without; so that from the equal and opposite action of +the centripetal and centrifugal forces, resulted a stationary +combat, raging between the circumferences of two concentric +circles, with barbaric dissonance of deadly feud, and infinite +variety of oath and execration, till Sir Oran, charging desperately +along one of the radii, fought a free passage through all +opposition; and rushing to the barouche of Sir Telegraph +Paxarett, sprang to his old station on the box, from whence +he shook his sapling at the foe with looks of mortal defiance. +Mr. Forester, who had been forcibly parted from him at the +commencement of the strife, had been all anxiety on his +account, mounted with great alacrity to his station on the +roof; the rest of the party was already seated; the Honourable +Mrs. Pinmoney, half-fainting with terror, earnestly entreated +Sir Telegraph to fly: Sir Telegraph cracked his whip, the +horses sprang forward like racers, the wheels went round like +the wheels of a firework. The tumult of battle, lessening as +they receded, came wafted to them on the wings of the wind; +for the flame of discord having been once kindled, was not +extinguished by the departure of its first flambeau—Sir Oran; +but war raged wide and far, here in the thickest mass of +central fight, there in the light skirmishing of flying detachments. +The hustings were demolished, and the beams and +planks turned into offensive weapons: the booths were torn +to pieces, and the canvas converted into flags floating over +the heads of magnanimous heroes that rushed to revenge they +<span class='pageno' id='Page_181'>181</span>knew not what, in deadly battle with they knew not whom. +The stalls and barrows were upset; and the pears, apples, +oranges, mutton-pies, and masses of gingerbread, flew like +missiles of fate in all directions. The <i><span lang="la">sanctum sanctorum</span></i> of +the ale was broken into, and the guardians of the Hesperian +liquor were put to ignominious rout. Hats and wigs were +hurled into the air, never to return to the heads from which +they had suffered violent divorce. The collision of sticks, the +ringing of empty ale-casks, the shrieks of women, and the +vociferations of combatants, mingled in one deepening and +indescribable tumult; till at length, everything else being +levelled with the heath, they turned the mingled torrent of +their wrath on the cottage of Mr. Corporate, to which they +triumphantly set fire, and danced round the blaze like a rabble +of village boys round the effigy of the immortal Guy. In a +few minutes the ancient and honourable borough of Onevote +was reduced to ashes; but we have the satisfaction to state +that it was rebuilt a few days afterwards, at the joint expense +of its two representatives, and His Grace the Duke of Rottenburgh.</p> + +<div id='i_179' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_179.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Began to lay about him with great vigour and effect.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_182'>182</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXIII<br> <span class='c013'>THE COUNCIL OF WAR</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The compassionate reader will perhaps sympathise in our +anxiety to take one peep at Lord Anophel Achthar and the +Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub, whom we left perched on the +summit of the rock where Sir Oran had placed them, looking +at each other as ruefully as Hudibras and Ralpho in their +‘wooden bastile,’ and falling by degrees into as knotty an +argument, the <em>quaeritur</em> of which was, how to descend from +their elevation—an exploit which to them seemed replete with +danger and difficulty. Lord Anophel, having, for the first time +in his life, been made acquainted with the salutary effects of +manual discipline, sate boiling with wrath and revenge; while +the Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub, who in his youthful days had been +beaten black and blue in the capacity of <em>fag</em> (a practice which +reflects so much honour on our public seminaries), bore the +infliction with more humility.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar</em> (<em>rubbing his shoulder</em>). This is all +your doing, Grovelgrub—all your fault, curse me!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> Oh, my Lord! my intention +was good, though the catastrophe is ill. The race is not +always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> But the battle was to the strong +in this instance, Grovelgrub, curse me! though from the speed +with which you began to run off on the first alarm, it was no +fault of yours that the race was not to the swift.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> I must do your Lordship the +justice to say, that you too started with a degree of celerity +highly creditable to your capacity of natural locomotion; and +if that ugly monster, the dumb Baronet, had not knocked us +both down in the incipiency of our progression——</p> + +<div id='i_183' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_183'>183</span> +<img src='images/i_183.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Perched on the summit of the rock.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_185'>185</span><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> We should have escaped as our two +rascals did, who shall bitterly rue their dereliction. But as to +the dumb Baronet, who has treated me with gross impertinence +on various occasions, I shall certainly call him out, to give me +the satisfaction of a gentleman.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> Oh, my Lord.</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Though with pistols ’tis the fashion</div> + <div class='line'>To satisfy your passion;</div> + <div class='line'>Yet where’s the satisfaction,</div> + <div class='line'>If you perish in the action?</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> One of us must perish, Grovelgrub, +‘pon honour. Death or revenge! We’re blown, Grovelgrub. +He took off our masks; and though he can’t speak, he can +write, no doubt, and read too, as I shall try with a challenge.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> Can’t speak, my Lord, is by +no means clear. Won’t speak, perhaps; none are so dumb +as those who won’t speak. Don’t you think, my Lord, there +was a sort of melancholy about him—a kind of sullenness? +Crossed in love, I suspect. People crossed in love, Saint +Chrysostom says, lose their voice.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> Then I wish you were crossed in +love, Grovelgrub, with all my heart.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> Nay, my Lord, what so sweet +in calamity as the voice of the spiritual comforter? All shall +be well yet, my Lord. I have an infallible project hatching +here; Miss Melincourt shall be ensconced in Alga Castle, and +then the day is our own.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> Grovelgrub, you know the old +receipt for stewing a carp: ‘First, catch your carp.’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> Your Lordship is pleased to +be facetious; but if the carp be not caught, let me be devilled +like a biscuit after the second bottle, or a turkey’s leg at a +twelfth night supper. The carp shall be caught.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> Well, Grovelgrub, only take notice +that I’ll not come again within ten miles of dummy.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> You may rely upon it, my Lord, +I shall always know my distance from the Honourable Baronet. +But my plot is a good plot, and cannot fail of success.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> You are a very skilful contriver, +to be sure; this is your contrivance, our perch on the top of +<span class='pageno' id='Page_186'>186</span>this rock. Now contrive, if you can, some way of getting to +the bottom of it.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> My Lord, there is a passage +in Aeschylus very applicable to our situation, where the chorus +wishes to be in precisely such a place.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> Then I wish the chorus were here +instead of us, Grovelgrub, with all my soul.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> It is a very fine passage, my +Lord, and worth your attention: the rock is described as</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>λισσας αἰγιλιψ ἀπροσδεικτος</div> + <div class='line'>οἰοφρων ἐρημας γυπιας πετρα,</div> + <div class='line'>βαθυ πτωμα μαρτυρουσα μοι.<a id='r61'></a><a href='#f61' class='c012'><sup>[61]</sup></a></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>That is, my Lord, a precipitous rock, inaccessible to the goat—not +to be pointed at (from having, as I take it, its head in +the clouds), where there is the loneliness of mind, and the +solitude of desolation, where the vulture has its nest, and the +precipice testifies a deep and headlong fall.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> I’ll tell you what, Grovelgrub; if +ever I catch you quoting Aeschylus again, I’ll cashier you from +your tutorship—that’s positive.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> I am dumb, my Lord.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> Think, I tell you, of some way of +getting down.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> Nothing more easy, my Lord.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> Plummet fashion, I suppose?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> Why, as your Lordship seems +to hint, that certainly is the most expeditious method; but not, +I think, in all points of view, the most advisable. On this +side of the rock is a <em>dumetum</em>: we can descend, I think, by +the help of the roots and shoots. O dear! I shall be like +Virgil’s goat: I shall be seen from far to hang from the bushy +rock <i><span lang="la">dumosa pendere procul de rupe videbor</span></i>!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em>—Confound your Greek and Latin! +you know there is nothing I hate so much; and I thought you +did so too, or you have <em>finished</em> your <em>education</em> to no purpose +at college.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub.</em> I do, my Lord; I hate them +mortally, more than anything except philosophy and the dumb +Baronet.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_187'>187</span>Lord Anophel Achthar proceeded to examine the side of the +rock to which the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub had called his +attention; and as it seemed the most practicable mode of +descent, it was resolved to submit to necessity, and make a +valorous effort to regain the valley; Lord Anophel, however, +insisting on the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub leading the way. +The reverend gentleman seized with one hand the stem of a +hazel, with the other the branch of an ash; set one foot on the +root of an oak, and deliberately lowered the other in search of +a resting-place; which having found on a projecting point of +stone, he cautiously disengaged one hand and the upper foot, +for which in turn he sought and found a firm <em>appui</em>; and thus +by little and little he vanished among the boughs from the +sight of Lord Anophel, who proceeded with great circumspection +to follow his example.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Lord Anophel had descended about one third of the elevation, +comforting his ear with the rustling of the boughs below, +that announced the safe progress of his reverend precursor; +when suddenly, as he was shifting his right hand, a treacherous +twig in his left gave way, and he fell with fearful lapse from +bush to bush, till, striking violently on a bough to which the +unfortunate divine was appended, it broke beneath the shock, +and down they went, crashing through the bushes together. +Lord Anophel was soon wedged into the middle of a large +holly, from which he heard the intermitted sound of the boughs +as they broke and were broken by the fall of his companion; +till at length they ceased, and fearful silence succeeded. He +then extricated himself from the holly as well as he could, at +the expense of a scratched face, and lowered himself down +without further accident. On reaching the bottom, he had +the pleasure to find the reverend gentleman in safety, sitting +on a fragment of stone, and rubbing his shin. ‘Come, +Grovelgrub,’ said Lord Anophel, ‘let us make the best of our +way to the nearest inn.’—‘And pour oil and wine into our +wounds,’ pursued the reverend gentleman, ‘and over our +Madeira and walnuts lay a more hopeful scheme for our next +campaign.’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_188'>188</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXIV<br> <span class='c013'>THE BAROUCHE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The morning after the election Sir Oran Haut-ton and his +party took leave of Mr. Sarcastic, Mr. Forester having +previously obtained from him a promise to be present at the +anti-saccharine fête. The barouche left the city of Novote, +decorated with ribands; Sir Oran Haut-ton was loudly cheered +by the populace, and not least by those whom he had most +severely beaten; the secret of which was, that a double allowance +of ale had been distributed over-night, to wash away the +effects of his indiscretion; it having been ascertained by +political economists, that a practical appeal either to the palm +or the palate will induce the friends of <em>things as they are</em> +to submit to anything.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Autumn was now touching on the confines of winter, but +the day was mild and sunny. Sir Telegraph asked Mr. +Forester if he did not think the mode of locomotion very +agreeable.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> That I never denied; all I question is, the +right of any individual to indulge himself in it.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Surely a man has a right to do +what he pleases with his own money.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> A legal right, certainly, not a moral one. +The possession of power does not justify its abuse. The +quantity of money in a nation, the quantity of food, and the +number of animals that consume that food, maintain a triangular +harmony, of which, in all the fluctuations of time and circumstance, +the proportions are always the same. You must +consider, therefore, that for every horse you keep for pleasure, +you pass sentence of non-existence on two human beings.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Really, Forester, you are a very +<span class='pageno' id='Page_189'>189</span>singular fellow. I should not much mind what you say, if you +had not such a strange habit of practising what you preach; a +thing quite unprecedented, and, egad, preposterous. I cannot +think where you got it: I am sure you did not learn it at +college.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> In a political light, every object of perception +may be resolved into one of these three heads: the food consumed—the +consumers—and money. In this point of view all +convertible property that does not eat and drink is money. +Diamonds are money. When a man changes a bank-note for +a diamond, he merely changes one sort of money for another, +differing only in the facility of circulation and the stability of +value. None of the produce of the earth is wasted by the +permutation.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> The most pernicious species of luxury, +therefore, is that which applies the fruits of the earth to any +other purposes than those of human subsistence. All luxury is +indeed pernicious, because its infallible tendency is to enervate +the few and enslave the many; but luxury, which, in addition +to this evil tendency, destroys the fruits of the earth in the +wantonness of idle ostentation, and thereby prevents the +existence of so many human beings as the quantity of food so +destroyed would maintain, is marked by criminality of a much +deeper dye.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> At the same time you must consider that, in +respect of population, the great desideratum is not number, but +quality. If the whole surface of this country were divided into +gardens, and in every garden were a cottage, and in every +cottage a family living entirely on potatoes, the number of its +human inhabitants would be much greater than at present; +but where would be the spirit of commercial enterprise, the researches +of science, the exalted pursuits of philosophical leisure, +the communication with distant lands, and all that variety of +human life and intercourse, which is now so beautiful and +interesting? Above all, where would be the refuge of such a +population in times of the slightest defalcation? Now, the +waste of plenty is the resource of scarcity. The canal that +does not overflow in the season of rain will not be navigable in +the season of drought. The rich have been often ready, in +days of emergency, to lay their superfluities aside; but when +the fruits of the earth are applied in plentiful or even ordinary +<span class='pageno' id='Page_190'>190</span>seasons, to the utmost possibility of human subsistence, the +days of deficiency in their produce must be days of inevitable +famine.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> What then will you say of those who in +times of actual famine persevere in their old course, in the +wanton waste of luxury?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Truly I have nothing to say for them but that +they know not what they do.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> If, in any form of human society, any one +human being dies of hunger, while another wastes or consumes +in the wantonness of vanity as much as would have preserved +his existence, I hold that second man guilty of the death of +the first.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Surely, Forester, you are not +serious.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Indeed I am. What would you think of a +family of four persons, two of whom should not be contented +with consuming their own share of diurnal provision but, having +adventitiously the pre-eminence of physical power, should +either throw the share of the two others into the fire, or stew it +down into a condiment for their own?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> I should think it very abominable, +certainly.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Yet what is human society but one great +family? What is moral duty, but that precise line of conduct +which tends to promote the greatest degree of general happiness? +And is not this duty most flagrantly violated, when one +man appropriates to himself the subsistence of twelve; while, +perhaps in his immediate neighbourhood, eleven of his fellow-beings +are dying with hunger? I have seen such a man walk +with a demure face into church, as regularly as if the Sunday +bell had been a portion of his corporeal mechanism, to hear a +bloated and beneficed sensualist hold forth on the text of <em>Do +as ye would be done by</em>, or <em>Inasmuch as ye have done it unto +the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me</em>: +whereas, if he had wished his theory to coincide with his +practice he would have chosen for his text, <em>Behold a man +gluttonous, and a wine-bibber, a friend of publicans and sinners</em>:<a id='r62'></a><a href='#f62' class='c012'><sup>[62]</sup></a> +and when the duty of words was over, the auditor and his +ghostly adviser, issuing forth together, have committed poor +<span class='pageno' id='Page_191'>191</span>Lazarus to the care of Providence, and proceeded to feast in +the lordly mansion, like Dives that lived in purple.<a id='r63'></a><a href='#f63' class='c012'><sup>[63]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Well, Forester, there I escape +your shaft; for I have ‘forgotten what the inside of a church +is made of,’ since they made me go to chapel twice a day at +college. But go on, and don’t spare <em>me</em>.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Let us suppose that ten thousand quarters of +wheat will maintain ten thousand persons during any given portion +of time: if the ten thousand quarters be reduced to five, or +if the ten thousand persons be increased to twenty, the consequence +will be immediate and general distress: yet if the +proportions be equally distributed, as in a ship on short allowance, +the general perception of necessity and justice will +preserve general patience and mutual goodwill; but let the +first supposition remain unaltered, let there be ten thousand +quarters of wheat, which shall be full allowance for ten thousand +people; then, if four thousand persons take to themselves the +portion of eight thousand, and leave to the remaining six +thousand the portion of two (and this I fear is even an inadequate +picture of the common practice of the world), these +latter will be in a much worse condition on the last than on +the first supposition; while the habit of selfish prodigality +deadening all good feelings and extinguishing all sympathy on +the one hand, and the habit of debasement and suffering +combining with the inevitable sense of oppression and injustice +on the other, will produce an action and reaction of open, +unblushing, cold-hearted pride, and servile, inefficient, ill-disguised +resentment, which no philanthropist can contemplate +without dismay.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> What then will be the case if the same +<span class='pageno' id='Page_192'>192</span>disproportionate division continues by regular gradations through +the remaining six thousand, till the lowest thousand receive +such a fractional pittance as will scarcely keep life together? +If any of these perish with hunger, what are they but the victims +of the first four thousand, who appropriated more to themselves +than either nature required or justice allowed? This, whatever +the temporisers with the world may say of it, I have no hesitation +in pronouncing to be wickedness of the most atrocious +kind; and this I make no doubt was the sense of the founder +of the Christian religion when he said, <em>It is easier for a camel +to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter +the kingdom of heaven</em>.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> You must beware of the chimaera of an agrarian +law, the revolutionary doctrine of an equality of possession; +which can never be possible in practice, till the whole constitution +of human nature be changed.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I am no revolutionist. I am no advocate +for violent and arbitrary changes in the state of society. I +care not in what proportions property is divided (though I +think there are certain limits which it ought never to pass, and +approve the wisdom of the American laws in restricting the +fortune of a private citizen to twenty thousand a year), provided +the rich can be made to know that they are but the stewards +of the poor, that they are not to be the monopolisers of solitary +spoil, but the distributors of general possession; that they are +responsible for that distribution to every principle of general +justice, to every tie of moral obligation, to every feeling of +human sympathy; that they are bound to cultivate simple +habits in themselves, and to encourage most such arts of +industry and peace as are most compatible with the health and +liberty of others.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> On this principle, then, any species of luxury +in the artificial adornment of persons and dwellings, which +condemns the artificer to a life of pain and sickness in the +alternations of the furnace and the cellar, is more baleful and +more criminal than even that which, consuming in idle prodigality +the fruits of the earth, destroys altogether, in the +proportion of its waste, so much of the possibility of human +existence: since it is better not to be than to be in misery.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> That is some consolation for me, +as it shows me that there are others worse than myself; for I +<span class='pageno' id='Page_193'>193</span>really thought you were going between you to prove me one +of the greatest rogues in England. But seriously, Forester, +you think the keeping of pleasure-horses, for the reasons you +have given, a selfish and criminal species of luxury?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I am so far persuaded of it, that I keep +none myself.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> But are not these four very +beautiful creatures? Would you wish not to see them in +existence, living as they do a very happy and easy kind of +life?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> That I am disposed to question, when I +compare the wild horse, in his native deserts, in the full enjoyment +of health and liberty, and all the energies of his nature, +with those docked, cropped, curtailed, mutilated animals, pent +more than half their lives in the close confinement of a stable, +never let out but to run in trammels, subject, like their tyrant +man, to an infinite variety of diseases, the produce of civilisation +and unnatural life, and tortured every now and then by +some villain of a farrier, who has no more feeling for them +than a West Indian planter has for his slaves; and when +you consider, too, the fate of the most cherished of the species, +racers and hunters, instruments and often victims of sports +equally foolish and cruel, you will acknowledge that the life of +the civilised horse is not an enviable destiny.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Horses are noble and useful animals; but as +they must necessarily exist in great numbers for almost every +purpose of human intercourse and business, it is desirable that +none should be kept for purposes of mere idleness and ostentation. +A pleasure-horse is a sort of four-footed sinecurist.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Not quite so mischievous as a +two-footed one.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Perhaps not: but the latter has always a +large retinue of the former, and therefore the evil is doubled.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Upon my word, Forester, you +will almost talk me out of my barouche, and then what will +become of me? What shall I do to kill time?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Read ancient books, the only source of +permanent happiness left in this degenerate world.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Read ancient books! That may +be very good advice to some people: but you forget that I +have been at college, and <em>finished</em> my <em>education</em>. By the bye I +<span class='pageno' id='Page_194'>194</span>have one inside, a portable advocate for my proceedings, no +less a personage than old Pindar.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Pindar has written very fine odes on driving, +as Anacreon has done on drinking; but the first can no more +be adduced to prove the morality of the whip, than the second +to demonstrate the virtue of intemperance. Besides, as to the +mental tendency and emulative associations of the pursuit itself, +no comparison can be instituted between the charioteers of the +Olympic games and those of our turnpike roads; for the +former were the emulators of heroes and demigods, and the +latter of grooms and mail coachmen.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</em> Well, Forester, as I recall to +mind the various subjects against which I have heard you +declaim, I will make you a promise. When ecclesiastical +dignitaries imitate the temperance and humility of the founder +of that religion by which they feed and flourish: when the +man in place acts on the principles which he professed while +he was out: when borough electors will not sell their suffrage, +nor their representatives their votes: when poets are not to be +hired for the maintenance of any opinion: when learned divines +can afford to have a conscience: when universities are not a +hundred years in knowledge behind all the rest of the world: +when young ladies speak as they think, and when those who +shudder at a tale of the horrors of slavery will deprive their +own palates of a sweet taste, for the purpose of contributing +all in their power to its extinction:—why then, Forester, I will +lay down my barouche.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_195'>195</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXV<br> <span class='c013'>THE WALK</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>They were to pass, in their return, through an estate belonging +to Mr. Forester, for the purpose of taking up his aunt +Miss Evergreen, who was to accompany them to Redrose +Abbey. On arriving at an inn on the nearest point of the +great road, Mr. Forester told Sir Telegraph that, from the +arrangements he had made, it was impossible for any carriage +to enter his estate, as he had taken every precaution for preserving +the simplicity of his tenants from the contagious +exhibitions and examples of luxury. ‘This road,’ said he, ‘is +only accessible to pedestrians and equestrians: I have no wish +to exclude the visits of laudable curiosity, but there is nothing +I so much dread and deprecate as the intrusion of those +heartless fops, who take their fashionable autumnal tour, to +gape at rocks and waterfalls, for which they have neither eyes +nor ears, and to pervert the feelings and habits of the once +simple dwellers of the mountains.<a id='r64'></a><a href='#f64' class='c012'><sup>[64]</sup></a> Nature seems to have +<span class='pageno' id='Page_196'>196</span>raised her mountain-barriers for the purpose of rescuing a few +favoured mortals from the vortex of that torrent of physical and +moral degeneracy which seems to threaten nothing less than +the extermination of the human species:<a id='r65'></a><a href='#f65' class='c012'><sup>[65]</sup></a> but in vain, while +the annual opening of its sluices lets out a side stream of the +worst specimens of what is called refined society, to inundate +the mountain valleys with the corruptions of metropolitan folly. +Thus innocence, and health, and simplicity of life and manners, +are banished from their last retirement, and nowhere more +lamentably so than in the romantic scenery of the northern +lakes, where every wonder of nature is made an article of trade, +where the cataracts are locked up, and the echoes are sold: +so that even the rustic character of that ill-fated region is +condemned to participate in the moral stigma which must dwell +indelibly on its poetical name.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The party alighted, and a consultation being held, it was +resolved to walk to the village in a body, the Honourable Mrs. +Pinmoney lifting her hands and eyes in profound astonishment +at Mr. Forester’s old-fashioned notions.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_197'>197</span>They followed a narrow winding path through rocky and +sylvan hills. They walked in straggling parties of ones, twos, +and threes. Mr. Forester and Anthelia went first. Sir Oran +Haut-ton followed alone, playing a pensive tune on his flute. +Sir Telegraph Paxarett walked between his aunt and cousin, +the Honourable Mrs. Pinmoney and Miss Danaretta. Mr. +Hippy, in a melancholy vein, brought up the rear with Mr. +Fax. A very beautiful child which had sat on the old gentleman’s +knee, at the inn where they breakfasted, had thrown him, +not for the first time on a similar occasion, into a fit of dismal +repentance that he had not one of his own: he stalked along +accordingly, with a most ruefully lengthened aspect, uttering +every now and then a deep-drawn sigh. Mr. Fax in philosophic +sympathy determined to console him, by pointing out to him +the true nature and tendency of the principle of population, and +the enormous evils resulting from the multiplication of the +human species: observing that the only true criterion of the +happiness of a nation was to be found in the number of its old +maids and bachelors, whom he venerated as the sources and +symbols of prosperity and peace. Poor Mr. Hippy walked on +sighing and groaning, deaf as the adder to the voice of the +charmer: for, in spite of all the eloquence of the antipopulationist, +the image of the beautiful child which he had danced +on his knee continued to haunt his imagination, and threatened +him with the blue devils for the rest of the day.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I see,’ said Sir Telegraph to Mrs. Pinmoney, ‘my hopes +are at an end. Forester is the happy man, though I am by no +means sure that he knows it himself.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Impossible,’ said Mrs. Pinmoney; ‘Anthelia may be +amused a little while with his rhapsodies, but nothing more, +believe me. The man is out of his mind. Do you know, I +heard him say the other day, “that not a shilling of his +property was his own, that it was a portion of the general +possession of human society, of which the distribution had +devolved upon him: and that for the mode of that distribution +he was most rigidly responsible to the principles of immutable +justice.” If such a mode of talking——’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘And acting too,’ said Sir Telegraph; ‘for I assure you +he quadrates his practice as nearly as he can to his theory.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Monstrous!’ said Mrs. Pinmoney, ‘what would our +reverend friend, poor dear Doctor Bosky, say to him? But if +<span class='pageno' id='Page_198'>198</span>such a way of talking and acting be the way to win a young +heiress, I shall think the whole world is turned topsy-turvy.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Your remark would be just,’ said Sir Telegraph, ‘were that +young heiress any other than Anthelia Melincourt.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Well,’ said Mrs. Pinmoney, ‘there are maidens in Scotland +more lovely by far——’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘That I deny,’ said Sir Telegraph.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Who will gladly be bride to the young Lochinvar,’ proceeded +Mrs. Pinmoney.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘That will not do,’ said Sir Telegraph: ‘I shall resign with +the best grace I can muster to a more favoured candidate, but +I shall never think of another choice.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Twelve months hence,’ said Mrs. Pinmoney, ‘you will tell +another tale. In the meantime you will not die of despair as +long as there is a good turnpike road and a pipe of Madeira in +England.’</p> + +<p class='c016'>‘You will find,’ said Mr. Forester to Anthelia, ‘in the little +valley we are about to enter, a few specimens of that simple +and natural life which approaches as nearly as the present state +of things will admit to my ideas of the habits and manners +of the primaeval agriculturists, or the fathers of the Roman +republic. You will think perhaps of Fabricius under his oak, +of Curius in his cottage, of Regulus, when he solicited recall +from the command of an army, because the man whom he had +intrusted, in his absence, with the cultivation of his field and +garden had run away with his spade and rake, by which his +wife and children were left without support; and when the +senate decreed that the implements should be replaced, and a +man provided at the public expense to maintain the consul’s +family, by cultivating his fields in his absence. Then poverty +was as honourable as it is now disgraceful: then the same +public respect was given to him who could most simplify his +habits and manners that is now paid to those who can make +the most shameless parade of wanton and selfish prodigality. +Those days are past for ever: but it is something in the present +time to resuscitate their memory, to call up even the shadow +of the reflection of republican Rome—<em>Rome the seat of glory +and of virtue, if ever they had one on earth</em>.<a id='r66'></a><a href='#f66' class='c012'><sup>[66]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_199'>199</span>‘You excite my curiosity very highly,’ said Anthelia, ‘for, +from the time when I read</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in4'>——in those dear books that first</div> + <div class='line'>Woke in my heart the love of poesy,</div> + <div class='line'>How with the villagers Erminia dwelt,</div> + <div class='line'>And Calidore, for a fair shepherdess,</div> + <div class='line'>Forgot his guest to learn the shepherd’s lore;</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>how much have I regretted never to discover in the actual +inhabitants of the country the realisation of the pictures of +Spenser and Tasso!’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The palaces,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘that everywhere rise +around them to shame the meanness of their humble dwellings, +the great roads that everywhere intersect their valleys, and +bring them continually in contact with the overflowing corruption +of cities, the devastating monopoly of large farms, that +has almost swept the race of cottagers from the face of the +earth, sending the parents to the workhouse or the army, and +the children to perish like untimely blossoms in the blighting +imprisonment of manufactories, have combined to diminish the +numbers and deteriorate the character of the inhabitants of the +country; but whatever be the increasing ravages of the Triad +of Mammon, avarice, luxury, and disease, they will always be +the last involved in the vortex of progressive degeneracy, +realising the beautiful fiction of ancient poetry, that, when +primaeval Justice departed from the earth, her last steps were +among the cultivators of the fields.’<a id='r67'></a><a href='#f67' class='c012'><sup>[67]</sup></a></p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_200'>200</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXVI<br> <span class='c013'>THE COTTAGERS</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The valley expanded into a spacious amphitheatre, with a +beautiful stream winding among pastoral meadows, which, as +well as the surrounding hills, were studded with cottages, each +with its own trees, its little garden, and its farm. Sir Telegraph +was astonished to find so many human dwellings in a space +that, on the modern tactics of rural economy, appeared only +sufficient for three or four <em>moderate</em> farms; and Mr. Fax looked +perfectly aghast to perceive the principle of population in such +a fearful state of activity. Mrs. and Miss Pinmoney expressed +their surprise at not seeing a single lordly mansion asserting +its regal pre-eminence over the dwellings of its miserable vassals; +while the voices of the children at play served only to condense +the vapours that obfuscated the imagination of poor Mr. Hippy. +Anthelia, as their path wound among the cottages, was more +and more delighted with the neatness and comfort of the +dwellings, the exquisite order of the gardens, the ingenuous air +of happiness and liberty that characterised the simple inhabitants, +and the health and beauty of the little rosy children +that were sporting in the fields. Mr. Forester had been +recognised from a distance. The cottagers ran out in all directions +to welcome him: the valley and the hills seemed starting +into life, as men, women, and children poured down, as with one +impulse, on the path of his approach, while some hastened to the +residence of Miss Evergreen, ambitious of being the first to +announce to her the arrival of her nephew. Miss Evergreen +came forward to meet the party, surrounded by a rustic crowd +of both sexes, and of every age, from the old man leaning on +his stick, to the little child that could just run alone, but had +<span class='pageno' id='Page_201'>201</span>already learnt to attach something magical to the sound of the +name of Forester.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The first idea they entertained at the sight of his party was +that he was married, and had brought his bride to visit his +little colony; and Anthelia was somewhat disconcerted by the +benedictions that were poured upon her under this impression +of the warm-hearted rustics.</p> + +<p class='c007'>They entered Miss Evergreen’s cottage, which was small, +but in a style of beautiful simplicity. Anthelia was much +pleased with her countenance and manners; for Miss Evergreen +was an amiable and intelligent woman, and was single, +not from having wanted lovers, but from being of that order of +minds which can love but once.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Fax took occasion, during a temporary absence of +Miss Evergreen from the apartment in which they were taking +refreshment, to say he was happy to have seen so amiable a +specimen of that injured and calumniated class of human +beings commonly called old maids, who were often so from +possessing in too high a degree the qualities most conducive +to domestic happiness; for it might naturally be imagined +that the least refined and delicate minds would be the soonest +satisfied in the choice of a partner, and the most ready to +repair the loss of a first love by the substitution of a second. +This might have led to a discussion, but Miss Evergreen’s +re-entrance prevented it. They now strolled out among the +cottages in detached parties and in different directions. Mr. +Fax attached himself to Mr. Hippy and Miss Evergreen. +Anthelia and Mr. Forester went their own way. She was +above the little affectation of feeling her <em>dignity</em> offended, as +our female novel-writers express it, by the notions which the +peasants had formed respecting her. ‘You see,’ said Mr. +Forester, ‘I have endeavoured as much as possible to recall +the images of better times, when the country was well peopled, +from the farms being small, and cultivated chiefly by cottagers +who lived in what was in Scotland called a <em>cottar town</em>.<a id='r68'></a><a href='#f68' class='c012'><sup>[68]</sup></a> Now +you may go over vast tracts of country without seeing anything +like an <em>old English Cottage</em>, to say nothing of the fearful +difference which has been caused in the interior of the few that +remain by the pressure of exorbitant taxation, of which the +real, though not the nominal burden, always falls most heavily +<span class='pageno' id='Page_202'>202</span>on the labouring classes, backed by that <em>canker at the heart of +national prosperity</em>, the imaginary riches of paper-credit, of +which the means are delusion, the progress monopoly, and the +ultimate effect the extinction of the best portion of national +population, a healthy and industrious peasantry. Large farms +bring more rent to the landlord, and therefore landlords in +general make no scruple to increase their rents by depopulating +their estates,<a id='r69'></a><a href='#f69' class='c012'><sup>[69]</sup></a> though Anthelia Melincourt will not comprehend +the mental principle in which such feelings originate.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Is it possible,’ said Anthelia, ‘that you, so young as you +are, can have created such a scene as this?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘My father,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘began what I merely perpetuate. +He estimated his riches, not by the amount of rent +his estate produced, but the number of simple and happy beings +it maintained. He divided it into little farms of such a size as +were sufficient, even in indifferent seasons, to produce rather +more than the necessities of their cultivators required. So that all +these cottagers are rich, according to the definition of Socrates;<a id='r70'></a><a href='#f70' class='c012'><sup>[70]</sup></a> +for they have at all times a little more than they actually need, +a subsidium for age or sickness, or any accidental necessity.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>They entered several of the cottages, and found in them all +the same traces of comfort and content, and the same images +of the better days of England: the clean-tiled floor, the +polished beechen table, the tea-cups on the chimney, the +dresser with its glittering dishes, the old woman with her +spinning-wheel by the fire, and the old man with his little +grandson in the garden, giving him his first lessons in the use +of the spade, the good wife busy in her domestic arrangements, +and the pot boiling on the fire for the return of her husband +from his labour in the field.</p> + +<div id='i_203' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_203.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>‘My father,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘began what I merely perpetuate.’</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>‘Is it not astonishing,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘that there should +be any who think, as I know many do, the number of cottagers +on their land a grievance, and desire to be quit of them,<a id='r71'></a><a href='#f71' class='c012'><sup>[71]</sup></a> and +have no feeling of remorse in allotting to one solitary family as +much extent of cultivated land as was ploughed by the whole +Roman people in the days of Cincinnatus?<a id='r72'></a><a href='#f72' class='c012'><sup>[72]</sup></a> The three great +<span class='pageno' id='Page_205'>205</span>points of every political system are the health, the morals, and +the number of the people. Without health and morals the +people cannot be happy; but without numbers they cannot +be a great and powerful nation, nor even exist for any considerable +time.<a id='r73'></a><a href='#f73' class='c012'><sup>[73]</sup></a> And by numbers I do not mean the inhabitants +of the cities, the sordid and sickly victims of commerce, and +the effeminate and enervated slaves of luxury; but in estimating +the power and the riches of a country, I take my only +criterion from its agricultural population.’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_206'>206</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXVII<br> <span class='c013'>THE ANTI-SACCHARINE FÊTE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Miss Evergreen accompanied them in their return, to preside +at the anti-saccharine fête. Mr. Hippy was turned out to +make room for her in the barouche, and took his seat on the +roof with Messieurs Forester and Fax. Anthelia no longer +deemed it necessary to keep a guard over her heart: the +bud of mutual affection between herself and Mr. Forester, +both being, as they were, perfectly free and perfectly ingenuous, +was rapidly expanding into the full bloom of happiness: they +dreamed not that evil was near to check, if not to wither it.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The whole party was prevailed on by Miss Evergreen to be +her guests at Redrose Abbey till after the anti-saccharine fête, +which very shortly took place, and was attended by the +principal members of the Anti-saccharine Society, and by an +illustrious assemblage from near and from far: amongst the +rest by our old acquaintance, Mr. Derrydown, Mr. O’Scarum, +Major O’Dogskin, Mr. Sarcastic, the Reverend Mr. Portpipe, +and Mr. Feathernest the poet, who brought with him his friend +Mr. Vamp the reviewer. Lord Anophel Achthar and the +Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub deemed it not expedient to join the +party, but ensconced themselves in Alga Castle, studying +<em>michin malicho</em>, which means mischief.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The anti-saccharine fête commenced with a splendid dinner, +as Mr. Forester thought to make luxury on this occasion +subservient to morality, by showing what culinary art could +effect without the intervention of West Indian produce; and +the preparers of the feast, under the superintendence of Miss +Evergreen, had succeeded so well, that the company testified +very general satisfaction, except that a worthy Alderman and +Baronet from London (who had been studying the picturesque +at Low-wood Inn, and had given several manifestations of +<span class='pageno' id='Page_207'>207</span>exquisite taste that had completely won the hearts of Mr. +O’Scarum and Major O’Dogskin) having just helped himself +to a slice of venison, fell back aghast against the back of his +chair, and dropped the knife and fork from his nerveless +hands, on finding that currant-jelly was prohibited: but being +recovered by an application of the Honourable Mrs. Pinmoney’s +vinaigrette, he proceeded to revenge himself on a +very fine pheasant, which he washed down with floods of +Madeira, being never at a loss for some one to take wine with +him, as he had the good fortune to sit opposite to the +Reverend Mr. Portpipe, who was <i><span lang="fr">toujours prêt</span></i> on the occasion, +and a <em>coup-d’œil</em> between them arranged the whole preliminary +of the compotatory ceremonial.</p> + +<p class='c007'>After dinner Mr. Forester addressed the company. They +had seen, he said, that culinary luxury could be carried to a +great degree of refinement without the intervention of West +Indian produce: and though he himself deprecated luxury +altogether, yet he would waive that point for the present, and +concede a certain degree of it to those who fancied they +could not do without it, if they would only in return make so +very slight a concession to philanthropy, to justice, to liberty, +to every feeling of human sympathy, as to abstain from an +indulgence which was obtained by the most atrocious violation +of them all, an indulgence of which the foundations were tyranny, +robbery, and murder, and every form of evil, anguish, and oppression, +at which humanity shudders; all which were comprehended +in the single name of <span class='sc'>Slavery</span>. ‘Sugar,’ said he, ‘is +economically superfluous, nay, worse than superfluous: in the +middling classes of life it is a formidable addition to the +expenses of a large family, and for no benefit, for no addition to +the stock of domestic comfort, which is often sacrificed in more +essential points to this frivolous and wanton indulgence. It is +physically pernicious, as its destruction of the teeth, and its +effects on the health of children much pampered with sweetmeats, +sufficiently demonstrate. It is morally atrocious, from +being the primary cause of the most complicated corporeal +suffering and the most abject mental degradation that ever +outraged the form and polluted the spirit of man. It is +politically abominable, for covering with every variety of +wretchedness some of the fairest portions of the earth, which, +if the inhabitants of free countries could be persuaded <em>to +<span class='pageno' id='Page_208'>208</span>abstain from sugar till it were sent to them by free men</em>, might +soon become the abodes of happiness and liberty. Slaves +cannot breathe in the air of England: ‘They touch our +country and their fetters fall.’ Who is there among you that is +not proud of this distinction?—Yet this is not enough: the +produce of the labour of slavery should be banished from our +shores. Not anything, not an atom of anything, should enter +an Englishman’s dwelling, on which the Genius of Liberty had +not set his seal. What would become of slavery if there were +no consumers of its produce? Yet I have seen a party of +pretended philanthropists sitting round a tea-table, and while +they dropped the sugar into their cups repeat some tale of the +sufferings of a slave, and execrate the colonial planters, who +are but their caterers and stewards—the obsequious ministers +of their unfeeling sensuality! O my fair countrywomen! you +who have such tender hearts, such affectionate spirits, such +amiable and delicate feelings, do you consider the mass of +mischief and cruelty to which you contribute, nay, of which +you are among the primary causes, when you indulge yourselves +in so paltry, so contemptible a gratification as results +from the use of sugar? while to abstain from it entirely is a +privation so trivial, that it is most wonderful to think that +Justice and Charity should have such a boon to beg from Beauty +in the name of the blood and the tears of human beings. Be not +deterred by the idea that you will have few companions by the +better way: so much the rather should it be strictly followed by +amiable and benevolent minds.<a id='r74'></a><a href='#f74' class='c012'><sup>[74]</sup></a> Secure to yourselves at least +the delightful consciousness of reflecting that you are in no +way whatever accomplices in the cruelty and crime of slavery, +and accomplices in it you certainly are, nay, its very original +springs, as long as you are receivers and consumers of its +iniquitous acquisitions.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I will answer you, Mr. Forester,’ said Mr. Sarcastic, ‘for +myself and the rest of the company. You shock our feelings +excessively by calling us the primary causes of slavery; and +there are very few among us who have not shuddered at +the tales of West Indian cruelty. I assure you we are very +liberal of theoretical sympathy; but as to practical abstinence +<span class='pageno' id='Page_209'>209</span>from the use of sugar, do you consider what it is you require? +Do you consider how very agreeable to us is the sensation of +sweetness in our palates? Do you suppose we would give up +that sensation because human creatures of the same flesh and +blood as ourselves are oppressed and enslaved, and flogged +and tortured, to procure it for us? Do you consider that +Custom<a id='r75'></a><a href='#f75' class='c012'><sup>[75]</sup></a> is the great lord and master of our conduct? And +<span class='pageno' id='Page_210'>210</span>do you suppose that any feeling of pity, and sympathy, and +charity, and benevolence, and justice, will overcome the power +of Custom, more especially where any pleasure of sense is +attached to his dominion? In appealing to our pockets, +indeed, you touched us to the quick: you aimed your eloquence +at our weak side—you hit us in the vulnerable point; but if it +should appear that in this particular we really might save our +money, yet being expended in a matter of personal and +sensual gratification, it is not to be supposed so completely +lost and wasted as it would be if it were given either to a +friend or a stranger in distress. I will admit, however, that you +have touched our feelings a little, but this disagreeable +impression will soon wear off: with some of us it will last as +long as pity for a starving beggar, and with others as long as +grief for the death of a friend; and I find, on a very accurate +average calculation, that the duration of the former may be +considered to be at least three minutes, and that of the latter +at most ten days.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Mr. Sarcastic,’ said Anthelia, ‘you do not render justice +to the feelings of the company; nor is human nature so selfish +and perverted as you seem to consider it. Though there are +undoubtedly many who sacrifice the general happiness of humankind +to their own selfish gratification, yet even these, I am +willing to believe, err not in cruelty but in ignorance, from +not seeing the consequences of their own actions; but it is not +by persuading them that all the world is as bad as themselves, +that you will give them clearer views and better feelings. +Many are the modes of evil—many the scenes of human +suffering; but if the general condition of man is ever to be +ameliorated, it can only be through the medium of <span class='fss'>BELIEF IN +HUMAN VIRTUE</span>.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Well, Forester,’ said Sir Telegraph, ‘if you wish to +increase the numbers of the Anti-saccharine Society, set me +down for one.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Remember,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘by enrolling your name +among us you pledge yourself to perpetual abstinence from +West Indian produce.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I am aware of it,’ said Sir Telegraph, ‘and you shall find +me zealous in the cause.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The fat Alderman cried out about the ruin of commerce, +and Mr. Vamp was very hot on the subject of the revenue. +<span class='pageno' id='Page_211'>211</span>The question was warmly canvassed, and many of the party +who had not been quite persuaded by what Mr. Forester had +said in behalf of the anti-saccharine system, were perfectly +convinced in its favour when they had heard what Mr. Vamp +and the fat Alderman had to say against it; and the consequence +was, that, in spite of Mr. Sarcastic’s opinion of +the general selfishness of mankind, the numbers of the Anti-saccharine +Society were very considerably augmented.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘You see,’ said Mr. Fax to Mr. Sarcastic, ‘the efficacy of +associated sympathies. It is but to give an impulse of cooperation +to any good and generous feeling, and its progressive +accumulation, like that of an Alpine avalanche, though but a +snowball at the summit, becomes a mountain in the valley.’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_212'>212</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXVIII<br> <span class='c013'>THE CHESS DANCE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The dinner was followed by a ball, for the opening of which +Sir Telegraph Paxarett, who officiated as master of the ceremonies, +had devised a fanciful scheme, and had procured for +the purpose a number of appropriate masquerade dresses. An +extensive area in the middle of the ballroom was chalked out +into sixty-four squares of alternate white and red, in lines of +eight squares each. Sir Telegraph, while the rest of the +company was sipping, not without many wry faces, their anti-saccharine +tea, called out into another apartment the gentlemen +whom he had fixed on to perform in his little ballet; and Miss +Evergreen at the same time withdrew with the intended female +performers. Sir Telegraph now invested Mr. Hippy with the +dignity of White King, Major O’Dogskin with that of Black +King, and the Reverend Mr. Portpipe with that of White +Bishop, which the latter hailed as a favourable omen, not +precisely comprehending what was going forward. As the +reverend gentleman was the only one of his cloth in the +company, Sir Telegraph was under the necessity of appointing +three lay Bishops, whom he fixed on in the persons of two +country squires, Mr. Hermitage and Mr. Heeltap, and of the +fat Alderman already mentioned, Sir Gregory Greenmould. +Sir Telegraph himself, Mr. O’Scarum, Mr. Derrydown, and +Mr. Sarcastic, were the Knights: and the Rooks were Mr. +Feathernest the poet; Mr. Paperstamp, another variety of the +same genus, chiefly remarkable for an affected infantine lisp in +his speech, and for always wearing waistcoats of a duffel gray; +Mr. Vamp the reviewer; and Mr. Killthedead, from Frogmarsh +Hall, a great compounder of narcotics, under the denomination +of <span class='sc'>Battles</span>, for he never heard of a deadly field, especially if +<span class='pageno' id='Page_215'>215</span>dotage and superstition, to which he was very partial, gained +the advantage over generosity and talent, both of which he +abhorred, but immediately seizing his goosequill and foolscap,</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>He fought the <span class='sc'>Battle</span> o’er again,</div> + <div class='line'>And twice he slew the slain.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div id='i_213' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_213.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>The company was sipping, not without many wry faces, their anti-saccharine tea.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Feathernest was a little nettled on being told that he +was to be the <em>King’s Rook</em>, but smoothed his wrinkled brow +on being assured that no <i><span lang="la">mauvaise plaisanterie</span></i> was intended.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The Kings were accordingly crowned, and attired in regal +robes. The Reverend Mr. Portpipe and his three brother +Bishops were arrayed in full canonicals. The Knights were +equipped in their white and black armour, with sword, and +dazzling helm, and nodding crest. The Rooks were enveloped +in a sort of mural robe, with a headpiece formed on the model +of that which occurs in the ancient figures of Cybele; and +thus attired they bore a very striking resemblance to the +walking wall in Pyramus and Thisbe.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The Kings now led the way to the ballroom, and the two +beautiful Queens, Miss Danaretta Contantina Pinmoney and +Miss Celandina Paperstamp, each with eight beautiful nymphs, +arrayed for the mimic field in light Amazonian dresses, white +and black, did such instant execution among the hearts of the +young gentlemen present, that they might be said to have +‘fought and conquered ere a sword was drawn.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>They now proceeded to their stations on their respective +squares: but before we describe their manœuvres we will +recapitulate the</p> + +<table class='table1'> + <tr><th class='c011' colspan='2'>TRIPUDII PERSONAE</th></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c017'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>WHITE</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c017'> </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>King</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Mr. Hippy.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>Queen</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Miss Danaretta Contantina Pinmoney.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>King’s Bishop</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>The Reverend Mr. Portpipe.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>Queen’s Bishop</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Sir Gregory Greenmould.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>King’s Knight</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Mr. O’Scarum.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>Queen’s Knight</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Sir Telegraph Paxarett.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>King’s Rook</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Mr. Feathernest.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>Queen’s Rook</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Mr. Paperstamp.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>Eight Nymphs.</em></td> + <td class='c017'> </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><span class='pageno' id='Page_216'>216</span> </td> + <td class='c017'> </td> + </tr> + <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'>BLACK</td></tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'> </td> + <td class='c017'> </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>King</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Major O’Dogskin.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>Queen</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Miss Celandina Paperstamp.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>King’s Bishop</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Squire Hermitage.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>Queen’s Bishop</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Squire Heeltap.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>King’s Knight</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Mr. Sarcastic.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>Queen’s Knight</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Mr. Derrydown.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>King’s Rook</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Mr. Killthedead.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>Queen’s Rook</em></td> + <td class='c017'><span class='sc'>Mr. Vamp.</span></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class='c009'><em>Eight Nymphs.</em></td> + <td class='c017'> </td> + </tr> +</table> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Hippy took his station on a black square, near the +centre of one of the extreme lines, and Major O’Dogskin on +an opposite white square of the parallel extreme. The +Queens, who were to command in chief, stood on the left of +the Kings: the Bishops were posted to the right and left of +their respective sovereigns; the Knights next to the Bishops; +the corners were occupied by the Rooks. The two lines in +front of these principal personages were occupied by the +Nymphs;—a space of four lines of eight squares each being +left between the opposite parties for the field of action.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The array was now complete, with the exception of the +Reverend Mr. Portpipe, who being called by Miss Danaretta +to take his place at the right hand of Mr. Hippy, and perceiving +that he should be necessitated, in his character of Bishop, +to take a very active part in the diversion, began to exclaim +with great vehemence, <span class='sc'><span lang="la">Nolo episcopari!</span></span> which is probably +the only occasion on which these words were ever used with +sincerity. But Mr. O’Scarum, in his capacity of White +Knight, pounced on the reluctant divine, and placing him +between himself and Mr. Hippy, stood by him with his sword +drawn, as if to prevent his escape; then clapping a sword into +the hand of the reverend gentleman, exhorted him to conduct +himself in a manner becoming an efficient member of the true +church militant.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Lots were then cast for the privilege of attack; and the +chance falling on Miss Danaretta, the music struck up the +tune of <em>The Triumph</em>, and the whole of the white party began +dancing, with their faces towards the King, performing at the +same time various manœuvres of the sword exercise, with +appropriate pantomimic gestures, expressive of their entire +<span class='pageno' id='Page_217'>217</span>devotion to His Majesty’s service, and their desire to be immediately +sent forward on active duty. In vain did the +Reverend Mr. Portpipe remonstrate with Mr. O’Scarum that +his dancing days were over: the inexorable Knight compelled +him to caper and flourish his sword, ‘till the toil-drops fell +from his brows like rain.’ Sir Gregory Greenmould did his +best on the occasion, and danced like an elephant in black +drapery; but Miss Danaretta and her eight lovely Nymphs +rescued the exertions of the male performers from too critical +observation. King Hippy received the proffered service of his +army with truly royal condescension. Miss Danaretta waved +her sword with inimitable grace, and made a sign to the +damsel in front of the King to advance two squares. The +same manœuvres now took place on the black side; and Miss +Celandina sent forward the Nymph in front of Major O’Dogskin +to obstruct the further progress of the white damsel. The +dancing now recommenced on the white side, and Miss Danaretta +ordered out the Reverend Mr. Portpipe to occupy the +fourth square in front of Squire Heeltap. The reverend +gentleman rolled forward with great alacrity, in the secret +hope that he should very soon be taken prisoner, and put <i><span lang="fr">hors +de combat</span></i> for the rest of the evening. Squire Hermitage was +detached by Miss Celandina on a similar service; and these +two episcopal heroes being thus brought together in the centre +of the field, entered, like Glaucus and Diomede, into a friendly +parle, in the course of which the words Claret and Burgundy +were repeatedly overheard. The music frequently varied as +in a pantomime, according to circumstances: the manœuvres +were always directed by the waving of the sword of the Queen, +and were always preceded by the dancing of the whole party, +in the manner we have mentioned, which continued <em>ad libitum</em>, +till she had decided on her movement. The Nymph in front +of Sir Gregory Greenmould advanced one square. Mr. +Sarcastic stepped forward to the third square of Squire +Hermitage. Miss Danaretta’s Nymph advanced two squares, +and being immediately taken prisoner by the Nymph of Major +O’Dogskin, conceded her place with a graceful bow, and retired +from the field. The Nymph in front of Sir Gregory Greenmould +avenged the fate of her companion; and Mr. Hippy’s +Nymph withdrew in a similar manner. Squire Hermitage +was compelled to cut short his conversation with Mr. Portpipe, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_218'>218</span>and retire to the third square in front of Mr. Derrydown. Sir +Telegraph skipped into the place which Sir Gregory Greenmould’s +Nymph had last forsaken. Mr. Killthedead danced +into the deserted quarters of Squire Hermitage, and Major +O’Dogskin swept round him with a minuet step into those of +Mr. Sarcastic. To carry on the detail would require more +time than we can spare, and, perhaps, more patience than our +readers possess. The Reverend Mr. Portpipe saw his party +fall around him, one by one, and survived against his will to +the close of the contest. Miss Danaretta and Miss Celandina +moved like light over the squares, and Fortune alternately +smiled and frowned on their respective banners, till the heavy +mural artillery of Mr. Vamp being brought to bear on Mr. +Paperstamp, who fancied himself a tower of strength, the latter +was overthrown and carried off the field. Mr. Feathernest +avenged his fate on the embattled front of Mr. Killthedead, +and fell himself beneath the sword of Mr. Sarcastic. Squire +Heeltap was taken off by the Reverend Mr. Portpipe, who +begged his courteous prisoner to walk to the sideboard and +bring him a glass of Madeira; for Homer, he said, was very +orthodox in his opinion that wine was a great refresher in the +toils of war.<a id='r76'></a><a href='#f76' class='c012'><sup>[76]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'>The changeful scene concluded by Miss Danaretta, with +the aid of Sir Telegraph and the Reverend Mr. Portpipe, +hemming Major O’Dogskin into a corner, where he was +reduced to an incapacity of locomotion; on which the Major +bowed and made the best of his way to the sideboard, followed +by the reverend gentleman, who, after joining the Major in a +pacific libation, threw himself into an arm-chair, and slept very +comfortably till the annunciation of supper.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Waltzes, quadrilles, and country dances followed in succession, +and, with the exception of the interval of supper, in which +Miss Evergreen developed all the treasures of anti-saccharine +taste, were kept up with great spirit till the rising of the sun.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Anthelia, who of course did not join in the former, expressed +to Mr. Forester her astonishment to see waltzing in Redrose +Abbey. ‘I did not dream of such a thing,’ said Mr. Forester; +‘but I left the whole arrangement of the ball to Sir Telegraph, +and I suppose he deemed it incumbent on him to consult <em>the +general taste of the young ladies</em>. Even I, young as I am, can +<span class='pageno' id='Page_219'>219</span>remember the time when there was no point of resemblance +between an English girl in a private ballroom and a French +<em>figurante</em> in a theatrical <em>ballet</em>; but waltzing and Parisian +drapery have levelled the distinction, and the only criterion of +the difference is the place of the exhibition. Thus every +succeeding year witnesses some new inroad on the simple +manners of our ancestors; some importation of continental +vice and folly; some unnatural fretwork of tinsel and frippery +on the old Doric column of the domestic virtues of England. +An Englishman in stays, and an Englishwoman waltzing in +treble-flounced short petticoats, are anomalies so monstrous, +that till they actually existed, they never entered the most +ominous visions of the speculators on progressive degeneracy. +What would our Alfred, what would our third Edward, what +would our Milton, and Hampden, and Sidney, what would the +barons of Runnymead have thought, if the voice of prophecy +had denounced to them a period, when the perfection of +accomplishment in the daughters of England would be found +in the dress, manner, and action of the dancing girls of Paris?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The supper, of course, did not pass off without songs; and +among them Anthelia sang the following, which recalled to +Mr. Forester their conversation on the sea-shore.</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12'>THE MORNING OF LOVE</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>O the spring-time of life is the season of blooming,</div> + <div class='line'>And the morning of love is the season of joy;</div> + <div class='line'>Ere noontide and summer, with radiance consuming,</div> + <div class='line'>Look down on their beauty, to parch and destroy.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>O faint are the blossoms life’s pathway adorning,</div> + <div class='line'>When the first magic glory of hope is withdrawn;</div> + <div class='line'>For the flowers of the spring, and the light of the morning,</div> + <div class='line'>Have no summer budding, and no second dawn.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Through meadows all sunshine, and verdure, and flowers,</div> + <div class='line'>The stream of the valley in purity flies;</div> + <div class='line'>But mix’d with the tides, where some proud city lowers,</div> + <div class='line'>O where is the sweetness that dwelt on its rise?</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>The rose withers fast on the breast it first graces;</div> + <div class='line'>Its beauty is fled ere the day be half done:—</div> + <div class='line'>And life is that stream which its progress defaces,</div> + <div class='line'>And love is that flower which can bloom but for one.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_220'>220</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXIX<br> <span class='c013'>THE DISAPPEARANCE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The morning after the fête Anthelia and her party returned +to Melincourt. Before they departed she conversed a few +minutes alone with Mr. Forester in his library. What was +said on this occasion we cannot precisely report; but it seemed +to be generally suspected that Mr. Hippy’s authority would +soon be at an end, and that the services of the Reverend Mr. +Portpipe would be required in the old chapel of Melincourt +Castle, which, we are sorry to say, had fallen for some years +past very much into disuse, being never opened but on occasions +of birth, marriage, and death in the family; and these +occasions, as our readers are aware, had not of late been very +numerous.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The course of mutual love between Anthelia and Mr. +Forester was as smooth as the gliding of a skiff down a stream, +through the flowery meadows of June: and if matters were not +quite definitely settled between them, yet, as Mr. Forester was +shortly to be a visitor at the Castle, there was a very apparent +probability that their intercourse would terminate in that grand +climax and finale of all romantic adventure—marriage.</p> + +<p class='c007'>After the departure of the ladies, Mr. Forester observed +with concern that his friend Sir Oran’s natural melancholy +was visibly increased, and Mr. Fax was of opinion that he +was smitten with the tender passion: but whether for Miss +Melincourt, Mrs. Pinmoney, or Miss Danaretta, it was not so +easy to determine. But Sir Oran grew more and more fond +of solitude, and passed the greater part of the day in the +woods, though it was now the reign of the gloomy November, +which, however, accorded with the moody temper of his spirit; +and he often went without his breakfast, though he always +<span class='pageno' id='Page_223'>223</span>came home to dinner. His perpetual companion was his flute, +with which he made sad response to the wintry wind.</p> + +<div id='i_221' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_221.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Mr. Fax was of opinion that he was smitten.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester and Mr. Fax were one morning consulting +on the means to be adopted for diverting Sir Oran’s melancholy, +when Sir Telegraph Paxarett drove up furiously to the +door—sprang from the box—and rushed into the apartment +with the intelligence that Anthelia had disappeared. No one +had seen her since the hour of breakfast on the preceding +day. Mr. Hippy, Mr. Derrydown, Mr. O’Scarum, and Major +O’Dogskin were scouring the country in all directions in search +of her.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester determined not to rest night or day till he had +discovered Anthelia. Sir Telegraph drove him, with Mr. Fax +and Sir Oran, to the nearest inn, where leaving Sir Telegraph +to pursue another track, they took a chaise-and-four, and posted +over the country in all directions, day after day, without finding +any clue to her retreat. Mr. Forester had no doubt that this +adventure was connected with that which we have detailed in +the eighteenth chapter; but his ignorance of the actors on +that occasion prevented his deriving any light from the coincidence. +At length, having investigated in vain all the main +and cross roads for fifty miles round Melincourt, Mr. Fax was +of opinion that she could not have passed so far along any of +them, being conveyed, as no doubt she was, against her will, +without leaving some trace of her course, which their indefatigable +inquiries must have discovered. He therefore advised +that they should discontinue their system of posting, and take +a thorough pedestrian perlustration of all the most bye and +unfrequented paths of the whole mountain-district, in some +secluded part of which he had a strong presentiment she would +be found. This plan was adopted; but the season was unfavourable +to its expeditious accomplishment; and they could +sometimes make but little progress in a day, being often compelled +to turn aside from the wilder tracks, in search of a town +or village, for the purposes of refreshment or rest:—there +being this remarkable difference between the lovers of the +days of chivalry and those of modern times, that the former +could pass a week or two in a desert or a forest, without +meat, drink, or shelter—a very useful art for all travellers, +whether lovers or not, which these degenerate days have +unfortunately lost.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_224'>224</span>They arrived in the evening of the first day of their +pedestrianism at a little inn among the mountains. They +were informed they could have no beds; and that the only +parlour was occupied by two gentlemen, who meant to sit up +all night, and would, perhaps, have no objection to their +joining the party. A message being sent in, an affirmative +answer was very politely returned; and on entering the apartment +they discovered Mr. O’Scarum and Major O’Dogskin +engaged in a deep discussion over a large jug of wine.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Troth, now,’ said Mr. O’Scarum, ‘and this is a merry +meeting, sure enough, though it’s on a dismal occasion, for +it’s Miss Melincourt you’re looking for, as we are too, though +you have most cause, Mr. Forester; for I understand you are +to be the happy man. Troth, and I did not know so much +when I came to your fête, or, perhaps, I should have been for +arguing the point of a prior claim (as far as my own consent +was concerned) over a bit of neat turf, twelve yards long; but +Major O’Dogskin tells me, that by getting muzzy, and so I +did, sure enough, on your old Madeira, and rare stuff it is, by +my conscience, when Miss Melincourt was in your house, I +have sanctioned the matter, and there’s an end of it: but, by +my soul, I did not mean to have been cut out quietly: and +the Major says, too, you’re too good a fellow to be kilt, and +that’s true enough: so I’ll keep my ammunition for other +friends; and here’s to you and Miss Melincourt, and a happy +meeting to you both, and the devil take him that parts you, says +Harum O’Scarum.’—‘And so says Dermot O’Dogskin,’ said +the Major. ‘And my friend O’Scarum and myself will ride +about till we get news of her, for we don’t mind a little hardship.—You +shall be wanting some dinner, joys, and there’s +nothing but fat bacon and potatoes; but we have made a shift +with it, and then here is the very creature itself, old sherry, +my jewels! troth, and how did we come home by it, think +you? I know what it is to pass a night in a little inn in the +hills, and you don’t find Major O’Dogskin turning out of the +main road, without giving his man a couple of kegs of wine +just to balance the back of his saddle. Sherry’s a good +traveller, and will stand a little shaking; and what would one +do without it in such a place as this, where it is water in the +desert, and manna in the wilderness?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester thanked them very warmly for their good +<span class='pageno' id='Page_225'>225</span>wishes and active exertions. The humble dinner of himself +and his party was soon despatched; after which, the Major +placed the two little kegs on the table and said, ‘They were +both filled to-day; so, you see, there is no lack of the good +creature to keep us all alive till morning, and then we shall +part again in search of Miss Melincourt, the jewel! for there +is not such another on the face of the earth. Och!’ continued +the Major, as he poured the wine from one of the kegs into a +brown jug; for the house could not afford them a decanter, +and some little ale tumblers supplied the place of wine-glasses,—‘Och! +the ould jug that never held anything better than sour +ale: how proud he must feel of being filled to the brim with +sparkling sherry, for the first and last time in the course of +his life!’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_226'>226</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXX<br> <span class='c013'>THE PAPER-MILL</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Taking leave of Mr. O’Scarum and Major O’Dogskin, they continued +their wandering as choice or chance directed: sometimes +penetrating into the most sequestered valleys; sometimes +returning into the principal roads, and investigating the most +populous districts. Passing through the town of Gullgudgeon, +they found an immense crowd assembled in a state of extreme +confusion, exhibiting every symptom of hurry, anxiety, astonishment, +and dismay. They stopped to inquire the cause of the +tumult, and found it to proceed from the sudden explosion of a +paper-mill, in other words, the stoppage of the country bank +of Messieurs Smokeshadow, Airbubble, Hopthetwig, and Company. +Farmers, bumpkins, artisans, mechanics, tradesmen of +all descriptions, the innkeeper, the lawyer, the doctor, and the +parson; soldiers from the adjoining barracks, and fishermen +from the neighbouring coast, with their shrill-voiced and +masculine wives, rolled in one mass, like a stormy wave, +around a little shop, of which the shutters were closed, with +the word BANK in golden letters over the door, and a large +board on the central shutter, notifying that ‘Messieurs Smokeshadow, +Airbubble, Hopthetwig, and Company had found +themselves under the disagreeable necessity of suspending +their payments’; in plain English, had found it expedient to +fly by night, leaving all the machinery of their mill, and all +the treasures of their mine, that is to say, several reams of +paper, half a dozen account-books, a desk, a joint-stool, and +inkstand, a bunch of quills, and a copper-plate, to satisfy the +claims of the distracted multitude, who were shoaling in from +all quarters, with <em>promises to pay</em>, of the said Smokeshadow, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_227'>227</span>Airbubble, Hopthetwig, and Company, to the amount of a +hundred thousand pounds.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Fax addressed himself for an explanation of particulars +to a plump and portly divine, who was standing at a little +distance from the rest of the crowd, and whose countenance +exhibited no symptoms of the rage, grief, and despair which +were depicted on the physiognomies of his dearly beloved +brethren of the town of Gullgudgeon.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘You seem, sir,’ said Mr. Fax, ‘to bear the general calamity +with Christian resignation.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I do, sir,’ said the reverend gentleman, ‘and for a very +orthodox reason—I have none of their notes—not I. I was +obliged to take them now and then against my will, but I +always sent them off to town, and got cash for them directly.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘You mean to say,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘you got a Threadneedle +Street note for them.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘To be sure, sir,’ said the divine, ‘and that is the same +thing as cash. There is a Jacobin rascal in this town, who +says it is a bad sign when the children die before the parent, +and that a day of reckoning must come sooner or later for the +old lady as well as for her daughters; but myself and my +brother magistrates have taken measures for him, and shall +soon make the town of Gullgudgeon too hot to hold him, as +sure as my name is Peppertoast.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘You seriously think, sir,’ said Mr. Fax, ‘that his opinion +is false?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Sir,’ said the reverend gentleman, somewhat nettled, ‘I +do not know what right any one can have to ask a man of my +cloth what he seriously thinks, when all that the world has to +do with is what he seriously says.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Then you seriously say it, sir?’ said Mr. Fax.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I do, sir,’ said the divine; ‘and for this very orthodox +reason, that the system of paper-money is inseparably interwoven +with the present order of things, and the present order +of things I have made up my mind to stick by, precisely as +long as it lasts.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘<em>And no longer?</em>’ said Mr. Fax.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I am no fool, sir,’ said the divine.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘But, sir,’ said Mr. Fax, ‘as you seem to have perceived +the instability of what is called (like <i><span lang="la">lucus a non lucendo</span></i>) +the <em>firm</em> of Smokeshadow, Airbubble, Hopthetwig, and Company, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_228'>228</span>why did not you warn your flock of the impending +danger?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Sir,’ said the reverend gentleman, ‘I dined every week +with one of the partners.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester took notice of an elderly woman who was +sitting with a small handful of dirty paper, weeping bitterly on +the step of a door. ‘Forgive my intrusion,’ said he; ‘I need +not ask you why you weep; the cause is in your hand.’—‘Ah, +sir!’ said the poor woman, who could hardly speak for sobbing, +‘all the savings of twenty years taken from me in a moment; +and my poor boy, when he comes home from sea——’ She +could say no more: grief choked her utterance.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Good God!’ said Mr. Fax, ‘did you lay by your savings +in country paper?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘O sir!’ said the poor woman, ‘how was I to know that +one piece of paper was not as good as another? And everybody +said that the firm of Smokeshadow, Airbubble, Hopthetwig, +and Company was as good as the Bank of England.’ She +then unfolded one of the <em>promises to pay</em>, and fell to weeping +more bitterly than ever. Mr. Forester comforted her as well +as he could; but he found the purchasing of one or two of +her notes much more efficacious than all the lessons of his +philosophy.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘This is all your fault,’ said a fisherman to his wife; ‘you +would be hoarding and hoarding, and stinting me of my drop +of comfort when I came in after a hard day’s work, tossed and +beaten, and wet through with salt water, and there’s what we’ve +got by it.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘It was all your fault,’ retorted the wife; ‘when we had +scraped together twenty as pretty golden guineas as ever laid +in a chest, you would sell ’em, so you would, for twenty-seven +pounds of Mr. Smokeshadow’s paper; <em>and now you see the +difference</em>.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Here is an illustration,’ said Mr. Fax to Mr. Forester, ‘of +the old maxim of <em>experience teaching wisdom</em>, or, as Homer +expresses it, ῥεχθεν δε τε νηπιος ἐγνω.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘<em>We ought now to be convinced, if not before</em>,’ said Mr. +Forester, ‘<em>that what Plato has said is strictly true, that there +will be no end of human misery till governors become philosophers +or philosophers governors</em>; and that all the evils which +this country suffers, and, I fear, will suffer to a much greater +<span class='pageno' id='Page_229'>229</span>extent, from the bursting of this fatal bubble of paper-money—this +chimerical symbol of imaginary riches—<em>are owing to the +want of philosophy and true political wisdom in our rulers, by +which they might have seen things in their causes, not felt them +only in their effects, as even the most vulgar man does: and by +which foresight, all the mischiefs that are befalling us might have +been prevented</em>.’<a id='r77'></a><a href='#f77' class='c012'><sup>[77]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Very hard,’ said an old soldier, ‘very, very hard:—a poor +five pounds, laid up for a rainy day,—hardly got, and closely +kept—very, very hard.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Poor man!’ said Mr. Forester, who was interested in the +soldier’s physiognomy, ‘let me repair your loss. Here is +better paper for you; but get gold and silver for it as soon as +you can.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘God bless your honour,’ said the soldier, ‘and send as much +power as goodwill to all such generous souls. Many is the +worthy heart that this day’s work will break, and here is more +damage than one man can mend. God bless your honour.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>A respectable-looking female approached the crowd, and +addressing herself to Mr. Fax, who seemed most at leisure to +her, asked him what chance there seemed to be for the creditors +of Messieurs Smokeshadow, Airbubble, Hopthetwig, and +Company. ‘By what I can gather from the people around +me,’ said Mr. Fax, ‘none whatever.’ The lady was in great +distress at this intelligence, and said they were her bankers, +and it was the second misfortune of the kind that had happened +to her. Mr. Fax expressed his astonishment that she should +have been twice the victim of the system of paper-coinage, +which seemed to contradict the old adage about a burnt child; +and said it was for his part astonishing to him how any human +being could be so deluded after the perils of the system had +been so clearly pointed out, and amongst other things, in a +pamphlet of his own on the Insubstantiality of Smoke. ‘Indeed,’ +she said, ‘she had something better to do than to trouble +herself about politics, and wondered he should insult her in her +distress by talking of such stuff to her.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Was ever such infatuation?’ said Mr. Fax, as the lady +turned away. ‘This is one of those persons who choose to +walk blindfold on the edge of a precipice, because it is too +<span class='pageno' id='Page_230'>230</span>much trouble to see, and quarrel with their best friends for +requesting them to make use of their eyes. There are many +such, who think they have no business with politics; but they +find to their cost that politics will have business with them.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘A curse light on all kite-flyers!’ vociferated a sturdy farmer. +‘Od rabbit me, here be a bundle o’ trash, measters! not worth +a voive-and-zixpenny dollar all together. This comes o’ peaper-mills. +“I promise to pay,” ecod! O the good old days o’ +goulden guineas, when I used to ride whoame vrom market wi’ +a great heavy bag in my pocket; and when I whopped it down +on the old oak teable, it used to make zuch a zound as did +one’s heart good to hear it. No <em>promise to pay</em> then. Now a +man may eat his whole vortin in a zandwich, or zet vire to it in +a vardin rushlight. Promise to pay!—the lying rascals, they +never meant to pay: they knew all the while they had no +effects to pay; but zuch a pretty, zmooth-spoken, palavering +zet o’ fellers! why, Lord bless you! they’d ha’ made you +believe black was white! and though you could never get +anything of ’em but one o’ their own dirty bits o’ peaper in +change vor another, they made it out as clear as daylight that +they were as rich as zo many Jews. Ecod! and we were all +vools enough to believe ’em, and now mark the end o’t.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Yes, father,’ said a young fop at his elbow, ‘all blown, +curse me!’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Ees,’ said the farmer, ‘and thee beest blown, and thee mun +zell thy hunter, and turn to the plough-tail; and thy zisters +mun churn butter, and milk the cows, instead of jingling +penny-vorties, and dancing at race-balls wi’ squires. We mun +be old English varmers again, and none o’ your voine high-flying +promise-to-pay gentlevolks. There they be—spell ’em: +<em>I promise to pay to Mr. Gregory Gas, or bearer, on demand, +the zum o’ voive pounds. Gullgudgeon Bank, April the virst. +Vor Zmokeshadow, Airbubble, Zelf, and Company, Henry +Hopthetwig. Entered, William Walkoff.</em> And there be their +coat o’ arms: two blacksmiths blowing a vorge, wi’ the +chimney vor a crest, and a wreath o’ smoke coming out o’t; +and the motto, ‘<span class='sc'>You can’t catch a bowlful</span>.’ Od rabbit +me! here be a whole handvul of ’em, and I’ll zell ’em all vor a +voive-and-zixpenny dollar.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The ‘Jacobin rascal,’ of whom the reverend gentleman had +spoken, happened to be at the farmer’s elbow. ‘I told you +<span class='pageno' id='Page_231'>231</span>how it would be,’ said he, ‘Master Sheepshead, many years +ago; and I remember you wanted to put me in the stocks for +my trouble.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Why, I believe I did, Mr. Lookout,’ said the farmer, with +a very penitent face; ‘but if you’ll call on me zome day we’ll +drown old grudges in a jug o’ ale, and light our poipes wi’ the +promises o’ Measter Hopthetwig and his gang.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Not with all of them I entreat you,’ said Mr. Lookout. +‘I hope you will have one of them framed and glazed, and +suspended over your chimney, as a warning to your children, +and your children’s children for ever, against “<em>the blessed +comforts of paper-money</em>.”’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Why, Lord love you, Measter Lookout,’ said the farmer, +‘we shall ha’ nothing but peaper-money still, you zee, only vrom +another mill like.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘As to that, Master Sheepshead,’ replied Mr. Lookout, ‘I +will only say to you in your own phrase, <span class='sc'>Mark the end o’t</span>.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Do you hear him?’ said the Rev. Mr. Peppertoast; ‘do +you hear the Jacobin rascal? Do you hear the libellous, +seditious, factious, levelling, revolutionary, republican, democratical, +atheistical villain?’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_232'>232</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXXI<br> <span class='c013'>CIMMERIAN LODGE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>After a walk of some miles from the town of Gullgudgeon, +where no information was to be obtained of Anthelia, their +path wound along the shores of a lonely lake, embosomed in +dark pine-groves and precipitous rocks. As they passed near +a small creek, they observed a gentleman just stepping into a +boat, who paused and looked up at the sound of their approximation; +and Mr. Fax immediately recognised the poeticopolitical, +rhapsodicoprosaical, deisidaemoniacoparadoxographical, +pseudolatreiological, transcendental meteorosophist, Moley +Mystic, Esquire, of Cimmerian Lodge. This gentleman’s +Christian name, according to his own account, was improperly +spelt with an <em>e</em>, and was in truth nothing more nor less than</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12'>That Moly,</div> + <div class='line'>Which Hermes erst to wise Ulysses gave;</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>and which was, in the mind of Homer, <em>a pure anticipated +cognition</em> of the system of Kantian metaphysics, or grand +transcendental science of the <i><span lang="la">luminous obscure</span></i>; for it had a +<em>dark root</em>,<a id='r78'></a><a href='#f78' class='c012'><sup>[78]</sup></a> which was mystery; and <em>a white flower</em>, which was +abstract truth: <em>it was called Moly by the gods</em>, who then +kept it to themselves; and was <em>difficult to be dug up by mortal +men</em>, having, in fact, lain <em>perdu</em> in subterranean darkness till +the immortal Kant dug for it <em>under the stone of doubt</em>, and produced +it to the astonished world as the <em>root of human science</em>. +Other persons, however, derived his first name differently; +and maintained that the <em>e</em> in it showed it very clearly to be a +<span class='pageno' id='Page_233'>233</span>corruption of <em>Mole-eye</em>, it being the opinion of some naturalists +that the <em>mole</em> has <em>eyes</em>, which it can withdraw or project at +pleasure, implying a faculty of wilful blindness, most happily +characteristic of a transcendental metaphysician; since, according +to the old proverb, <em>None are so blind as those who won’t +see</em>. But be that as it may, Moley Mystic was his name, and +Cimmerian Lodge was his dwelling.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Mystic invited Mr. Fax and his friends to step with +him into the boat, and cross over his lake, which he called the +<em>Ocean of Deceitful Form</em>, to the <cite>Island of Pure Intelligence</cite>, +on which Cimmerian Lodge was situated: promising to give +them a great treat in looking over his grounds, which he had +laid out according to the <em>topography of the human mind</em>; and to +enlighten them, through the medium of ‘darkness visible,’ with +an opticothaumaturgical process of transcendentalising a <em>cylindrical +mirror</em>, which should teach them the difference between +<em>objective</em> and <em>subjective reality</em>.<a id='r79'></a><a href='#f79' class='c012'><sup>[79]</sup></a> Mr. Forester was unwilling to +remit his search, even for a few hours; but Mr. Fax observing +that great part of the day was gone, and that Cimmerian +Lodge was very remote from the human world; so that if they +did not avail themselves of Mr. Mystic’s hospitality, they should +probably be reduced to the necessity of passing the night +among the rocks, <i><span lang="la">sub Jove frigido</span></i>, which he did not think very +inviting, Mr. Forester complied; and with Mr. Fax and Sir +Oran Haut-ton stepped into the boat. The reader who is +deficient in <em>taste for the bombast</em>, and is no <em>admirer of the +obscure</em>, may as well wait on the shore till they return. But +we must not enter the regions of mystery without an Orphic +invocation.</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>ὙΠΝΕ ἀναξ, καλεω δε μολειν κεχαρηοτα ΜΥΣΤΑΙΣ·</div> + <div class='line'>και δε, μακαρ, λιτομαι, Tανυδιπτερε, οὐλε ὈΝΕΙΡΕ·</div> + <div class='line'>και ΝΕΦΕΛΑΣ καλεω, δροσοειμονας, ἠεροπλαγκτους·</div> + <div class='line'>ΝΥΚΤΑ τε πρεσβιστην, πολυηρατον ὈΡΓΙΟΦΑΝΤΑΙΣ,</div> + <div class='line'>ΝΥΚΤΕΡΙΟΥΣ τε ΘΕΟΥΣ, ὑπο κευθεδιν οἰκι έχοντας,</div> + <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_234'>234</span>ἀντρῳ ἐν ἠεροεντι, παρα ΣΤΥΓΟΣ ἱερον ὑδωρ·</div> + <div class='line'>ΠΡΩΤΕΙ συν πολυβουλῳ, ὁν ὈΛΒΟΔΟΤΗΝ<a id='r80'></a><a href='#f80' class='c012'><sup>[80]</sup></a> καλεουσιν.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Ο sovereign Sleep! in whose papaverous glen</div> + <div class='line'>Dwell the dark Muses of Cimmerian men!</div> + <div class='line'>O Power of Dreams! whose dusky pinions shed</div> + <div class='line'>Primaeval chaos on the slumberer’s head!</div> + <div class='line'>Ye misty Clouds! amid whose folds sublime</div> + <div class='line'>Blind Faith invokes the Ghost of Feudal Time!</div> + <div class='line'>And thou, thick night! beneath whose mantle rove</div> + <div class='line'>The Phantom Powers of Subterranean Jove!</div> + <div class='line'>Arise, propitious to the mystic strain,</div> + <div class='line'>From Lethe’s flood, and Zeal’s Tartarian fane;</div> + <div class='line'>Where Freedom’s Shade, ‘mid Stygian vapours damp,</div> + <div class='line'>Sits, cold and pale, by Truth’s extinguished lamp;</div> + <div class='line'>While Cowls and Crowns portentous orgies hold,</div> + <div class='line'>And tuneful Proteus seals his eyes with gold!</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>They had scarcely left the shore when they were involved +in a fog of unprecedented density, so that they could not see +one another; but they heard the dash of Mr. Mystic’s oars, +and were consoled by his assurances that he could not miss +his way in a state of the atmosphere so consentaneous to his +peculiar mode of vision; for that, though, in navigating his +little skiff on the <em>Ocean of Deceitful Form</em>, he had very often +wandered wide and far from the <cite>Island of Pure Intelligence</cite>, +yet this had always happened when he went with his eyes +open, in broad daylight; but that he had soon found the +means of obviating this little inconvenience, by always keeping +his eyes close shut whenever the sun had the impertinence to +shine upon him.</p> + +<p class='c007'>He immediately added that he would take the opportunity +of making a remark perfectly in point: ‘that Experience was +a Cyclops, with his eye in the back of his head’; and when +Mr. Fax remarked that he did not see the connection, Mr. +Mystic said he was very glad to hear it; for he should be +sorry if any one but himself could see the connection of his +ideas, as he arranged his thoughts <em>on a new principle</em>.</p> + +<p class='c007'>They went steadily on through the dense and heavy air, +over waters that slumbered like the Stygian pool; a chorus of +frogs, that seemed as much delighted with their own melody +as if they had been an oligarchy of poetical critics, regaling +<span class='pageno' id='Page_235'>235</span>them all the way with the Aristophanic symphony of <span class='sc'>Brek-ek-ek-ex! +ko-ax! ko-ax!</span><a id='r81'></a><a href='#f81' class='c012'><sup>[81]</sup></a> till the boat fixed its keel in the +<cite>Island of Pure Intelligence</cite>; and Mr. Mystic landed his party, +as Charon did Aeneas and the Sibyl, in a bed of weeds and +mud:<a id='r82'></a><a href='#f82' class='c012'><sup>[82]</sup></a> after floundering in which for some time, from losing +their guide in the fog, they were cheered by the sound of his +voice from above, and scrambling up the bank, found themselves +on a hard and barren rock; and, still following the sound of +Mr. Mystic’s voice, arrived at Cimmerian Lodge.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The fog had penetrated into all the apartments: there was +fog in the hall, fog in the parlour, fog on the staircases, fog in +the bedrooms;</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>The fog was here, the fog was there,</div> + <div class='line'>The fog was all around.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>It was a little rarefied in the kitchen, by virtue of the enormous +fire; so far, at least, that the red face of the cook shone +through it, as they passed the kitchen door, like the disk of the +rising moon through the vapours of an autumnal river: but to +make amends for this, it was condensed almost into solidity in +the library, where the voice of their invisible guide bade them +welcome to the <em>adytum</em> of the <span class='fss'>LUMINOUS OBSCURE</span>.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Mystic now produced what he called his <em>synthetical +torch</em>, and requested them to follow him, and look over his +grounds. Mr. Fax said it was perfectly useless to attempt it +in such a state of the atmosphere; but Mr. Mystic protested +that it was the only state of the atmosphere in which they +could be seen to advantage; as daylight and sunshine utterly +destroyed their beauty.</p> + +<p class='c007'>They followed the ‘darkness visible’ of the <em>synthetical torch</em>, +which, according to Mr. Mystic, <em>shed around it the rays of +transcendental illumination</em>; and he continued to march before +them, walking, and talking, and pointing out innumerable +images of singularly nubilous beauty, though Mr. Forester and +Mr. Fax both declared they could see nothing but the fog and +‘<i><span lang="fr">la pale lueur du magique flambeau</span></i>‘: till Mr. Mystic observing +that they were now in a <em>Spontaneity free from Time or Space</em>, +and at the point of <em>Absolute Limitation</em>, Mr. Fax said he was +very glad to hear it; for in that case they could go no farther. +<span class='pageno' id='Page_236'>236</span>Mr. Mystic observed that they must go farther; for they were +entangled in a maze, from which they would never be able to +extricate themselves without his assistance; and he must take +the liberty to tell them that <em>the categories of modality were +connected into the idea of absolute necessity</em>. As this was +spoken in a high tone, they took it to be meant for a reprimand; +which carried the more weight as it was the less +understood. At length, after floundering on another half-hour, +the fog still thicker and thicker, and the torch still dimmer and +dimmer, they found themselves once more in Cimmerian Lodge.</p> + +<div id='i_236' class='figcenter id003'> +<img src='images/i_236.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Mr. Mystic observed that they must go farther.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Mystic asked them how they liked his grounds, and +they both repeated they had seen nothing of them: on which +he flew into a rage and called them <em>empirical psychologists</em>, +and <em>slaves of definition, induction, and analysis</em>, which he intended +for terms of abuse, but which were not taken for such +by the persons to whom he addressed them.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Recovering his temper, he observed that it was nearly +the hour of dinner: and as they did not think it worth while +to be angry with him, they contented themselves with requesting +that they might dine in the kitchen, which seemed to be +the only spot on the <cite>Island of Pure Intelligence</cite> in which there +was a glimmer of light.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Mystic remarked that he thought this very bad taste, +but that he should have no objection if the cook would consent; +who, he observed, had paramount dominion over that important +division of the <cite>Island of Pure Intelligence</cite>. The cook, with +a little murmuring, consented for once to evacuate her citadel +<span class='pageno' id='Page_237'>237</span>as soon as the dinner was on table; entering, however, a +protest, that this infringement on her privileges should not be +pleaded as a precedent.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Fax was afraid that Mr. Mystic would treat them as +Lord Peter treated his brothers; that he would put nothing +on the table, and regale them with a dissertation on the <em>pure +idea of absolute substance</em>; but in this he was agreeably disappointed; +for the <em>anticipated cognition</em> of a good dinner very +soon smoked before them, in the <em>relation of determinate coexistence</em>; +and the <em>objective phenomenon</em> of some superexcellent +Madeira quickly put the whole party in perfect good humour. +It appeared, indeed, to have a diffusive quality of occult and +mysterious virtue; for, with every glass they drank, the fog +grew thin, till by the time they had taken off four bottles +among them, it had totally disappeared.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Mystic now prevailed on them to follow him to the +library, where they found a blazing fire and a four-branched +gas-lamp, shedding a much brighter radiance than that of the +<em>synthetical torch</em>. He said he had been obliged to light this +lamp, as it seemed they could not see by the usual illumination +of Cimmerian Lodge. The brilliancy of the gas-lights he much +disapproved; but he thought it would be very unbecoming in a +transcendental philosopher to employ any other material for a +purpose to which <em>smoke</em> was applicable. Mr. Fax said he +should have thought, on the contrary, that <i><span lang="la">ex fumo dare lucem</span></i> +would have been, of all things, the most repugnant to his +principles; and Mr. Mystic replied that it had not struck him +so before, but that Mr. Fax’s view of the subject ‘was exquisitely +dusky and fuliginous’: this being his usual mode of expressing +approbation, instead of the common phraseology of <em>bright +thoughts</em> and <em>luminous ideas</em>, which were equally abhorrent to +him both in theory and practice. However, he said, there the +light was, for their benefit, and not for his: and as other +men’s light was his darkness, he should put on a pair of +spectacles of smoked glass, which no one could see through +but himself. Having put on his spectacles, he undrew a black +curtain, discovered a <em>cylindrical mirror</em>, and placed a sphere +before it with great solemnity. ‘This sphere,’ said he, ‘is an +oblong spheroid in the perception of the cylindrical mirror: as +long as the mirror thought that the object of his perception +was the real external oblong spheroid, he was a mere <em>empirical +<span class='pageno' id='Page_238'>238</span>philosopher</em>; but he has grown wiser since he has been in my +library; and by reflecting very deeply on the degree in which +the manner of his construction might influence the forms of his +perception, has taken a very opaque and tenebricose view of +how much of the spheroidical perception belongs to the <em>object</em>, +which is the sphere, and how much to the <em>subject</em>, which is +himself, in his quality of <em>cylindrical mirror</em>. He has thus +discovered the difference between <em>objective</em> and <em>subjective +reality</em>: and this point of view is <em>transcendentalism</em>.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘A very dusky and fuliginous speculation, indeed,’ said Mr. +Fax, complimenting Mr. Mystic in his own phrase.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Tea and coffee were brought in. ‘I divide my day,’ said +Mr. Mystic, ‘<em>on a new principle</em>: I am always poetical at +breakfast, moral at luncheon, metaphysical at dinner, and +political at tea. Now you shall know my opinion of the hopes +of the world.—General discontent shall be the basis of public +resignation!<a id='r83'></a><a href='#f83' class='c012'><sup>[83]</sup></a> The materials of political gloom will build the +steadfast frame of hope.<a id='r84'></a><a href='#f84' class='c012'><sup>[84]</sup></a> The main point is to get rid of +analytical reason, which is experimental and practical, and live +only by faith,<a id='r85'></a><a href='#f85' class='c012'><sup>[85]</sup></a> which is synthetical and oracular. The contradictory +interests of ten millions may neutralise each other.<a id='r86'></a><a href='#f86' class='c012'><sup>[86]</sup></a> +But the spirit of Antichrist is abroad:<a id='r87'></a><a href='#f87' class='c012'><sup>[87]</sup></a>—the people read!—nay, +they think!! The people read and think!!! The public, +the public in general, the swinish multitude, the many-headed +monster, actually reads and thinks!!!!<a id='r88'></a><a href='#f88' class='c012'><sup>[88]</sup></a> Horrible in thought, +but in fact most horrible! Science classifies flowers. Can it +make them bloom where it has placed them in its classification!<a id='r89'></a><a href='#f89' class='c012'><sup>[89]</sup></a> +No. Therefore flowers ought not to be classified. This is +transcendental logic. Ha! in that cylindrical mirror I see +three shadowy forms:—dimly I see them through the smoked +glass of my spectacles. Who art thou?—<span class='sc'>Mystery!</span>—I hail +thee! Who art thou?—<span class='sc'>Jargon</span>—I love thee! Who art +thou?—<span class='sc'>Superstition!</span>—I worship thee! Hail, transcendental +<span class='fss'>TRIAD</span>!’</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Fax cut short the thread of his eloquence by saying he +would trouble him for the cream-jug.</p> + +<div id='i_240' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_240'>240</span> +<img src='images/i_240.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Sir Oran Haut-ton ascending the stairs with the great rain-water tub.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_241'>241</span>Mr. Mystic began again, and talked for three hours without +intermission, except that he paused a moment on the entrance +of sandwiches and Madeira. His visitors sipped his wine in +silence till he had fairly talked himself hoarse. Neither Mr. +Fax nor Mr. Forester replied to his paradoxes; for to what +end, they thought, should they attempt to answer what few +would hear and none would understand?</p> + +<p class='c007'>It was now time to retire, and Mr. Mystic showed his guests +to the doors of their respective apartments, in each of which +a gas-light was burning, and ascended another flight of stairs +to his own dormitory, with a little twinkling taper in his hand. +Mr. Forester and Mr. Fax stayed a few minutes on the landing-place, +to have a word of consultation before they parted for +the night. Mr. Mystic gained the door of his apartment—turned +the handle of the lock—and had just advanced one +step—when the whole interior of the chamber became suddenly +sheeted with fire: a tremendous explosion followed; and he +was precipitated to the foot of the stairs in <em>the smallest conceivable +fraction of the infinite divisibility of time</em>.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester picked him up, and found him not much hurt, +only a little singed, and very much frightened. But the whole +interior of the apartment continued to blaze. Mr. Forester +and Sir Oran Haut-ton ran for water: Mr. Fax rang the +nearest bell: Mr. Mystic vociferated ‘Fire!’ with singular +energy: the servants ran about half-undressed: pails, buckets, +and pitchers, were in active requisition; till Sir Oran Haut-ton +ascending the stairs with the great rain-water tub, containing +one hundred and eight gallons of water,<a id='r90'></a><a href='#f90' class='c012'><sup>[90]</sup></a> threw the whole +contents on the flames with one sweep of his powerful arm.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The fire being extinguished, it remained to ascertain its +cause. It appeared that the gas-tube in Mr. Mystic’s chamber +had been left unstopped, and the gas evolving without combustion +(the apartment being perfectly air-tight), had condensed +into a mass, which, on the approach of Mr. Mystic’s taper, +instantly ignited, blowing the transcendentalist downstairs, +and setting fire to his curtains and furniture.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Mystic, as soon as he recovered from his panic, began +to bewail the catastrophe: not so much, he said, for itself, as +<span class='pageno' id='Page_242'>242</span>because such an event in Cimmerian Lodge was an infallible +omen of evil—a type and symbol of an approaching period of +public light—when the smoke of metaphysical mystery, and +the vapours of ancient superstition, which he had done all that +in him lay to consolidate in the spirit of man, would explode +at the touch of analytical reason, leaving nothing but the plain +common sense matter-of-fact of moral and political truth—a +day that he earnestly hoped he might never live to see.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Certainly,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘it is a very bad omen for +all who make it their study to darken the human understanding, +when one of the pillars of their party <em>is blown up by his own +smoke</em>; but the symbol, as you call it, may operate as a warning +to the apostles of superstitious chimaera and political fraud, +that it is very possible <em>for smoke to be too thick</em>; and that, in +condensing in the human mind the vapours of ignorance and +delusion, they are only compressing a body of inflammable gas, +of which the explosion will be fatal in precise proportion to +its density.’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_243'>243</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXXII<br> <span class='c013'>THE DESERTED MANSION</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>They rose, as usual, before daylight, that they might pursue +their perlustration; and, on descending, found Mr. Mystic +awaiting them at a table covered with a sumptuous apparatus +of tea and coffee, a pyramid of hot rolls, and a variety of cold +provision. Cimmerian Lodge, he said, was famous for its +breed of tame geese, and he could recommend the cold one on +the table as one of his own training. The breakfast being +despatched, he rowed them over the <em>Ocean of Deceitful Form</em> +before the sun rose to disturb his navigation.</p> + +<p class='c007'>After walking some miles, a ruined mansion at the end of +an ancient avenue of elms attracted their attention. As they +made a point of leaving no place unexamined, they walked up +to it. There was an air of melancholy grandeur in its loneliness +and desolation which interested them to know its history. +The briers that choked the court, the weeds that grew from +the fissures of the walls and on the ledges of the windows, the +fractured glass, the half-fallen door, the silent and motionless +clock, the steps worn by the tread of other years, the total +silence of the scene of ancient hospitality, broken only by the +voices of the rooks whose nests were in the elms, all carried +back the mind to the years that were gone. There was a sun-dial +in the centre of the court: the sun shone on the brazen +plate, and the shadow of the index fell on the line of noon. +‘Nothing impresses me more,’ said Mr. Forester, ‘in a ruin of +this kind, than the contrast between the sun-dial and the clock, +which I have frequently observed. This contrast I once made +the basis of a little poem, which the similarity of circumstances +induces me to repeat to you though you are no votary of the +spirit of rhyme.’</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12'><span class='pageno' id='Page_244'>244</span>THE SUN-DIAL</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in2'>The ivy o’er the mouldering wall</div> + <div class='line'>Spreads like a tree, the growth of years:</div> + <div class='line'>The wild wind through the doorless hall</div> + <div class='line'>A melancholy music rears,</div> + <div class='line'>A solitary voice, that sighs,</div> + <div class='line'>O’er man’s forgotten pageantries.</div> + <div class='line in2'>Above the central gate, the clock,</div> + <div class='line'>Through clustering ivy dimly seen,</div> + <div class='line'>Seems, like the ghost of Time, to mock</div> + <div class='line'>The wrecks of power that once has been.</div> + <div class='line'>The hands are rusted on its face;</div> + <div class='line'>Even where they ceased, in years gone by,</div> + <div class='line'>To keep the flying moments’ pace:</div> + <div class='line'>Fixing, in Fancy’s thoughtful eye,</div> + <div class='line'>A point of ages passed away,</div> + <div class='line'>A speck of time, that owns no tie</div> + <div class='line'>With aught that lives and breathes to-day.</div> + <div class='line in2'>But ‘mid the rank and towering grass,</div> + <div class='line'>Where breezes wave, in mournful sport,</div> + <div class='line'>The weeds that choke the ruined court,</div> + <div class='line'>The careless hours, that circling pass,</div> + <div class='line'>Still trace upon the dialled brass</div> + <div class='line'>The shade of their unvarying way:</div> + <div class='line'>And evermore, with every ray</div> + <div class='line'>That breaks the clouds and gilds the air,</div> + <div class='line'>Time’s stealthy steps are imaged there:</div> + <div class='line'>Even as the long-revolving years</div> + <div class='line'>In self-reflecting circles flow,</div> + <div class='line'>From the first bud the hedgerow bears,</div> + <div class='line'>To wintry nature’s robe of snow.</div> + <div class='line'>The changeful forms of mortal things</div> + <div class='line'>Decay and pass; and art and power</div> + <div class='line'>Oppose in vain the doom that flings</div> + <div class='line'>Oblivion on their closing hour;</div> + <div class='line'>While still, to every woodland vale,</div> + <div class='line'>New blooms, new fruits, the seasons bring,</div> + <div class='line'>For other eyes and lips to hail</div> + <div class='line'>With looks and sounds of welcoming:</div> + <div class='line'>As where some stream light-eddying roves</div> + <div class='line'>By sunny meads and shadowy groves,</div> + <div class='line'>Wave following wave departs for ever,</div> + <div class='line'>But still flows on the eternal river.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div id='i_246' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_246.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Mr. Forester made inquiries of him.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>An old man approached them, in whom they observed that +look of healthy and cheerful antiquity which showed that time +<span class='pageno' id='Page_247'>247</span>only, and neither pain nor sickness, had traced wrinkles on his +cheek. Mr. Forester made inquiries of him on the object he +had most at heart: but the old man could give no gleam of +light to guide his steps. Mr. Fax then asked some questions +concerning the mansion before them.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Ah, zur!’ said the old man, ‘this be the zeat o’ Squire +Openhand: but he doan’t live here now; the house be growed +too large vor’n, as one may zay. I remember un playing +about here on the grass-plot, when he was half as high as the +sun-dial poast, as if it was but yesterday. The days that I +ha’ zeed here! Rare doings there used to be wi’ the house +vull o’ gentlevolks zometimes to be zure: but what he loiked +best was, to zee a merry-making of all his tenants, round the +great oak that stands there in the large vield by himzelf. He +used to zay if there was anything he could not abide it was the +zight of a zorrowful feace; and he was always prying about to +voind one: and if he did voind one, Lord bless you! it was +not a zorrowful feace long, if it was anything that he could +mend. Zo he lived to the length of his line, as the zaying is; +and when times grew worse, it was a hard matter to draw in; +howsomdever he did; and when the tax-gatherers came every +year vor more and more, and the peaper-money flew about, +buying up everything in the neighbourhood; and every vifty +pounds he got in peaper wasn’t worth, as he toald me, vorty +pounds o’ real money, why there was every year fewer horses +in his steable, and less wine on his board: and every now and +then came a queer zort o’ chap dropped out o’ the sky like—a +vundholder he called un—and bought a bit of ground vor a +handvul o’ peaper, and built a cottage horny, as they call it—there +be one there on the hill-zide—and had nothing to do wi’ +the country people, nor the country people wi’ he: nothing in +the world to do, as we could zee, but to eat and drink, and +make little bits o’ shrubberies, o’ quashies, and brutuses, and +zelies, and cubies, and filigrees, and ruddydunderums, instead +o’ the oak plantations the old landlords used to plant; and the +Squire could never abide the zight o’ one o’ they gimcrack +boxes; and all the while he was nailing up a window or two +every year, and his horses were going one way, and his dogs +another, and his old zervants were zent away, one by one, wi’ +heavy hearts, poor souls, and at last it came that he could not +get half his rents, and zome o’ his tenants went to the workhouse, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_248'>248</span>and others ran away, because o’ the poor-rates, and +everything went to zixes and zevens, and I used to meet the +Squire in his walks, and think to myzelf it was very hard that +he who could not bear to zee a zorrowful feace should have +zuch a zorrowful one of his own; and he used to zay to me +whenever I met un: “All this comes o’ peaper-money, Measter +Hawthorn.” Zo the upshot was, he could not afford any +longer to live in his own great house, where his vorevathers +had lived out o’ memory of man, and went to zome outlandish +place wi’ his vamily to live, as he said, in much zuch a box as +that gimcrack thing on the hill.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘You have told us a very melancholy story,’ said Mr. +Forester; ‘but at present, I fear, a very common one, and one +of which, if the present system continue, every succeeding year +will multiply examples.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Ah, zur!’ said the old man, ‘there was them as vorezeed +it long ago, and voretold it too, up in the great house in +Lunnon, where they zettles the affairs o’ the nation: a pretty +of zettling it be, to my thinking, to vill the country wi’ tax-gatherers +and vundholders, and peaper-money men, that turns +all the old families out o’ the country, and zends their tenants +to the workhouse: but there was them as vorezeed and voretold +it too, but nobody minded ’em then: they begins to mind +’em now.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘But how do you manage in these times?’ said Mr. +Forester.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I lives, measter,’ said the old man, ‘and pretty well too, +vor myself. I had a little vreehold varm o’ my own, that has +been in my vamily zeven hundred year, and we woan’t part wi’ +it, I promise you, vor all the tax-collectors and vundholders in +England. But my zon was never none o’ your gentleman +varmers, none a’ your reacing and hunting bucks, that it’s a +shame vor a honest varmer to be: he always zet his shoulder +to the wheel—alway a-vield by peep o’ day: zo now I be old, +I’ve given up the varm to him; and that I wouldn’t ha’ done +to the best man in all the county bezide: but he’s my son, and +I loves un. Zo I walks about the vields all day, and sits all +the evening in the chimney-corner wi’ an old neighbour or zo, +and a jug o’ ale, and talks over old times, when the Openhands, +and zuch as they, could afford to live in the homes o’ their +vorevathers. It be a bad state o’ things, my measters, and +<span class='pageno' id='Page_249'>249</span>must come to a bad end, zooner or later; but it’ll last my +time.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘You are not in the last stage of a consumption, are you, +honest friend?’ said Mr. Fax.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Lord love you, no, measter,’ said the old farmer, rather +frightened; ‘do I look zo?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘No,’ said Mr. Fax; ‘but you talked so.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Ah! thee beest a wag, I zee,’ said the farmer. ‘Things +be in a conzumption zure enough, but they’ll last my time vor +all that; and if they doan’t it’s no fault o’ mine; and I’se no +money in the vunds, nor no sinecure pleace, zo I eats my beefsteak +and drinks my ale, and lets the world slide.’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_250'>250</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXXIII<br> <span class='c013'>THE PHANTASM</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The course of their perambulations brought them into the +vicinity of Melincourt, and they stopped at the Castle to +inquire if any intelligence had been obtained of Anthelia. +The gate was opened to them by old Peter Gray, who informed +them that himself and the female domestics were at that time +the only inmates of the Castle, as the other male domestics +had gone off at the same time with Mr. Hippy in search of +their young mistress; and the Honourable Mrs. Pinmoney +and Miss Danaretta were gone to London, because of the +opera being open.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester inquired of the manner of Anthelia’s disappearance. +Old Peter informed him that she had gone into +her library as usual after breakfast, and when the hour of +dinner arrived she was missing. The central window was +open, as well as the little postern door of the shrubbery that +led into the dingle, the whole vicinity of which they had +examined, and had found the recent print of horses’ feet on a +narrow green road that skirted the other side of the glen; +these traces they had followed till they had totally lost them +in a place where the road became hard and rocky, and divided +into several branches: the pursuers had then separated into +parties of two and three, and each party had followed a different +branch of the road, but they had found no clue to guide +them, and had hitherto been unsuccessful. He should not +himself, he said, have remained inactive, but Mr. Hippy had +insisted on his staying to take care of the Castle. He then +observed that, as it was growing late, he should humbly advise +their continuing where they were till morning. To this they +assented, and he led the way to the library.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_251'>251</span>Everything in the library remained precisely in the place in +which Anthelia left it. Her chair was near the table, and the +materials of drawing were before it. The gloom of the winter +evening, which was now closing in, was deepened through the +stained glass of the windows. The moment the door was +thrown open, Mr. Forester started, and threw himself forward +into the apartment towards Anthelia’s chair; but before he +reached it, he stopped, placed his hand before his eyes, and, +turning round, leaned for support on the arm of Mr. Fax. He +recovered himself in a few minutes, and sate down by the +table. Peter Gray, after kindling the fire, and lighting the +Argand lamp that hung from the centre of the apartment, +went to give directions on the subject of dinner.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester observed, from the appearance of the drawing +materials, that they had been hastily left, and he saw that the +last subject on which Anthelia had been employed was a +sketch of Redrose Abbey. He sate with his head leaning on +his hand, and his eyes fixed on the drawing in perfect silence. +Mr. Fax thought it best not to disturb his meditations, and +took up a volume that was lying open on the table, the last +that Anthelia had been reading. It was a posthumous work +of the virtuous and unfortunate Condorcet, in which that most +amiable and sublime enthusiast, contemplating human nature +in the light of his own exalted spirit, had delineated a beautiful +vision of the future destinies of mankind.<a id='r91'></a><a href='#f91' class='c012'><sup>[91]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'>Sir Oran Haut-ton kept his eyes fixed on the door with +looks of anxious impatience, and showed manifest and increasing +disappointment at every re-entrance of Old Peter, who at +length summoned them to dinner.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Fax was not surprised that Mr. Forester had no appetite, +but that Sir Oran had lost his appeared to him extremely +curious. The latter grew more and more uneasy, rose from +table, took a candle in his hand, and wandered from room to +room, searching every closet and corner in the Castle, to the +infinite amazement of Old Peter Gray, who followed him everywhere, +and became convinced that the poor gentleman was +crazed for love of his young mistress, who, he made no doubt, +was the object of his search; and the conviction was strengthened +by the perfect inattention of Sir Oran to all his assurances +that his dear young lady was not in any of those places which +<span class='pageno' id='Page_252'>252</span>he searched so scrupulously. Sir Oran at length, having left +no corner of the habitable part of the Castle unexamined, +returned to the dining-room, and throwing himself into a chair +began to shed tears in great abundance.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Fax made his two disconsolate friends drink several +glasses of Madeira, by way of raising their spirits, and then +asked Mr. Forester what it was that had so affected him on +their first entering the library.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> It was the form of Anthelia, in the place +where I first saw her, in that chair by the table. The vision +was momentary, but, while it lasted, had all the distinctness +of reality.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> This is no uncommon effect of the association +of ideas when external objects present themselves to us after +an interval of absence, in their remembered arrangement, with +only one form wanting, and that the dearest among them, to +perfect the resemblance between the present sensation and the +recollected idea. A vivid imagination, more especially when +the nerves are weakened by anxiety and fatigue, will, under +such circumstances, complete the imperfect scene, by replacing +for a moment the one deficient form among those accustomed +objects which had long formed its accompaniments in the +contemplation of memory. This single mental principle will +explain the greater number of <em>credible</em> tales of apparitions, +and at the same time give a very satisfactory reason why +a particular spirit is usually found haunting a particular place.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Thus Petrarch’s beautiful pictures of the +Spirit of Laura on the banks of the Sorga are assuredly +something more than the mere fancies of the closet, and must +have originated in that system of mental connection, which, +under peculiar circumstances, gives ideas the force of sensations. +Anxiety and fatigue are certainly great promoters of +the state of mind most favourable to such impressions.</p> + +<div id='i_253' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_253.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Sir Oran, throwing himself into a chair, began to shed tears in great abundance.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> It was under the influence of such excitements +that Brutus saw the spirit of Caesar; and in similar states of +feeling the phantoms of poetry are usually supposed to be +visible: the ghost of Banquo, for example, and that of Patroclus. +But this only holds true of the poets who paint from nature; +for their artificial imitators, when they wish to call a spirit +from the vasty deep, are not always so attentive to the mental +circumstances of the persons to whom they present it. In the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_255'>255</span>early periods of society, when apparitions form a portion of +the general creed; when the life of man is wandering, precarious, +and turbulent; when the uncultured wildness of the +heath and the forest harmonises with the chimaeras of superstition; +and when there is not, as in later times, a rooted +principle of reason and knowledge, to weaken such perceptions +in their origin, and destroy the seeming reality of their subsequent +recollection, impressions of this nature will be more +frequent, and will be as much invested with the character of +external existence, as the scenes to which they are attached +by the connecting power of the mind. They will always be +found with their own appropriate character of time, and place, +and circumstance. The ghost of the warrior will be seen on +the eve of battle by him who keeps his lonely watch near the +blaze of the nightly fire, and the spirit of the huntress maid +will appear to her lover when he pauses on the sunny heath, +or rests in the moonlit cave.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_256'>256</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXXIV<br> <span class='c013'>THE CHURCHYARD</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The next morning Mr. Forester determined on following the +mountain road on the other side of the dingle, of which Peter +Gray had spoken: but wishing first to make some inquiries of +the Reverend Mr. Portpipe, they walked to his vicarage, which +was in a village at some distance. Just as they reached it, the +reverend gentleman emerged in haste, and seeing Mr. Forester +and his friends, said he was very sorry that he could not +attend to them just then, as he had a great press of business +to dispose of; namely, a christening, a marriage, and a +funeral; but he would knock them off as fast as he could, after +which he should be perfectly at their service, hoped they would +wait in the vicarage till his return, and observed he had good +ale and a few bottles of London Particular. He then left them +to despatch his affairs in the church.</p> + +<p class='c007'>They preferred waiting in the churchyard. ‘A christening, +a marriage, and a funeral!’ said Mr. Forester. ‘With what +indifference he runs through the whole drama of human life, +raises the curtain on its commencement, superintends the most +important and eventful action of its progress, and drops the +curtain on its close!’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Custom has rendered them all alike indifferent +to him. In every human pursuit and profession the routine of +ordinary business renders the mind indifferent to all the forms +and objects of which that routine is composed. The sexton +‘sings at grave-making’; the undertaker walks with a solemn +face before the coffin, because a solemn face is part of his +trade; but his heart is as light as if there were no funeral at +his heels: he is quietly conning over the items of his bill, or +thinking of the party in which he is to pass his evening; and +<span class='pageno' id='Page_259'>259</span>the reverend gentleman who concludes the process, and +consigns to its last receptacle the shell of extinguished intelligence, +has his thoughts on the wing of the sports of the field +or the jovial board of the Squire.</p> + +<div id='i_257' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_257.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>A great press of business to dispose of.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Your observation is just. It is this hardening +power of custom that gives steadiness to the hand of the +surgeon, firmness to the voice of the criminal judge, coolness +to the soldier ‘in the imminent deadly breach,’ self-possession +to the sailor in the rage of the equinoctial storm. It is under +this influence that the lawyer deals out writs and executions +as carelessly as he deals out cards at his evening whist; that +the gaoler turns the key with the same stern indifference on +unfortunate innocence as on hardened villainy; that the venal +senator votes away by piecemeal the liberties of his country; +and that the statesman sketches over the bottle his series of +deliberate schemes for the extinction of human freedom, the +enchaining of human reason, and the waste of human life.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Contemplate any of these men only in the sphere +of their routine, and you will think them utterly destitute of all +human sympathy. Make them change places with each other, +and you will see symptoms of natural feelings. Custom cannot +kill the better feelings of human nature: it merely lays them +asleep.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You must acknowledge, then, at least, that +their sleep is very sound.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> In most cases certainly as sound as that of +Epimenides, or of the seven sleepers of Ephesus. But these +did wake at last, and, therefore, according to Aristotle, they +had always the capacity of waking.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You must allow me to wait for a similar +proof before I admit such a capacity in respect to the feelings +of some of the characters we have mentioned. Yet I am no +sceptic in human virtue.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> You have no reason to be, with so much +evidence before your eyes of the excellence of the past generation, +and I do not suppose the present is much worse than its +predecessors. Read the epitaphs around you, and see what +models and mirrors of all the social virtues have left the +examples of their shining light to guide the steps of their +posterity.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I observe the usual profusion of dutiful +<span class='pageno' id='Page_260'>260</span>sons, affectionate husbands, faithful friends, kind neighbours, +and honest men. These are the luxuriant harvest of every +churchyard. But is it not strange that even the fertility of +fiction should be so circumscribed in the variety of monumental +panegyric? Yet a few words comprehend the summary of all +the moral duties of ordinary life. Their degrees and diversities +are like the shades of colour, that shun for the most part the +power of language: at all events, the nice distinctions and +combinations that give individuality to historical character +scarcely come within the limits of sepulchral inscription, which +merely serves to testify the regret of the survivors for one +whose society was dear, and whose faults are forgotten. For +there is a feeling in the human mind, that, in looking back on +former scenes of intercourse with those who are passed for ever +beyond the limits of injury and resentment, gradually destroys +all the bitterness and heightens all the pleasures of the remembrance; +as, when we revert in fancy to the days of our childhood, +we scarcely find a vestige of their tears, pains, and +disappointments, and perceive only their fields, their flowers, +and their sunshine, and the smiles of our little associates.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> The history of common life seems as circumscribed +as its moral attributes: for the most extensive information +I can collect from these gravestones is, that the parties +married, lived in trouble, and died of a conflict between a +disease and a physician. I observe a last request, which I +suppose was very speedily complied with—that of a tender +husband to his loving wife not to weep for him long. If it be +as you say, that the faults of the dead are soon forgotten, yet +the memory of their virtues is not much longer lived; and I +have often thought that these words of Rabelais would furnish +an appropriate inscription for ninety-nine gravestones out of +every hundred:—<i><span lang="fr">Sa mémoire expira avecque le son des cloches +qui carillonèrent à son enterrement.</span></i></p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_261'>261</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXXV<br> <span class='c013'>THE RUSTIC WEDDING</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The bride and bridegroom, with half a dozen of their friends, +now entered the churchyard. The bride, a strong, healthy-looking +country girl, was clinging to the arm of her lover, not +with the light and scarcely perceptible touch with which Miss +Simper complies with the request of Mr. Giggle, ‘that she will +do him the honour to take his arm,’ but with a cordial and +unsophisticated pressure that would have made such an arm as +Mr. Giggle’s black and blue. The bridegroom, with a pair of +chubby cheeks, which in colour precisely rivalled his new +scarlet waistcoat, and his mouth expanded into a broad grin +that exhibited the total range of his teeth, advanced in a sort +of step that was half a walk and half a dance, as if the preconceived +notion of the requisite solemnity of demeanour were +struggling with the natural impulses of the overflowing joy of +his heart.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Fax looked with great commiseration on this bridal +pair, and determined to ascertain if they had a clear notion of +the evils that awaited them in consequence of the rash step +they were about to take. He therefore accosted them with an +observation that the Reverend Mr. Portpipe was not at leisure, +but would be in a few minutes. ‘In the meantime,’ said he, +‘I stand here as the representative of general reason, to ask +if you have duly weighed the consequences of your present +proceeding.’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> General Reason! I be’s no soger man, +and bean’t countable to no General whatzomecomedever. We +bean’t under martial law, be we? Voine times indeed if +General Reason be to interpose between a poor man and his +sweetheart.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_262'>262</span><em>Mr. Fax.</em> That is precisely the case which calls most +loudly for such an interposition.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> If General Reason waits till I or Zukey +calls loudly vor’n, he’ll wait long enough. Woan’t he, Zukey?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bride.</em> Ees, zure, Robin.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> General reason, my friend, I assure you, has +nothing to do with martial law, nor with any other mode of +arbitrary power, but with authority that has truth for its +foundation, benevolence for its end, and the whole universe for +its sphere of action.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom</em> (<em>scratching his head</em>). There be a mort +o’ voine words, but I zuppose you means to zay as how this +General Reason be a Methody preacher; but I be’s true +earthy-ducks church, and zo be Zukey: bean’t you, Zukey?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bride.</em> Ees, zure, Robin.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> And we has nothing to do wi’ General +Reason neither on us. Has we, Zukey?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bride.</em> No, zure, Robin.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Well, my friend, be that as it may, you are +going to be married?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> Why, I think zo, zur, wi’ General +Reason’s leave. Bean’t we, Zukey?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bride.</em> Ees, zure, Robin.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> And are you fully aware, my honest friend, +what marriage is?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> Vor zartin I be: Zukey and I ha’ got it +by heart out o’ t’ Book o’ Common Prayer. Ha’n’t we, +Zukey? (<em>This time Susan did not think proper to answer.</em>) +It be ordained that zuch persons as hav’n’t the gift of——(<em>Susan +gave him such a sudden and violent pinch on the arm, +that his speech ended in a roar</em>). Od rabbit me! that wur a +twinger! I’ll have my revenge, howzomecomedever. (<em>And he +imprinted a very emphatical kiss on the lips of his blushing +bride that greatly scandalised Mr. Fax.</em>)</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Do you know, that in all likelihood, in the +course of six years, you will have as many children?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> The more the merrier, zur. Bean’t it, +Zukey? (<em>Susan was mute again.</em>)</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> I hope it may prove so, my friend; but I fear +you will find the more the sadder. What are your occupations?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> Anan, zur?</p> + +<div id='i_263' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_263'>263</span> +<img src='images/i_263.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p>‘<em>Do you know, that in all likelihood, in the course of six years, you will have as many children?</em>’</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_265'>265</span><em>Mr. Fax.</em> What do you do to get your living?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> Works vor Varmer Brownstout: zows +and reaps, threshes, and goes to market wi’ corn and cattle, +turns to plough-tail when hap chances, cleans and feeds horses, +hedges and ditches, fells timber, gathers in t’ orchard, brews +ale, and drinks it, and gets vourteen shill’n’s a week for my +trouble. And Zukey here ha’ laid up a mint o’ money: she +wur dairymaid at Varmer Cheesecurd’s, and ha’ gotten vour +pounds zeventeen shill’n’s and ninepence in t’ old chest wi’ +three vlat locks and a padlock. Ha’n’t you, Zukey?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bride.</em> Ees, zure, Robin.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> It does not appear to me, my worthy friend, +that your fourteen shillings a week, even with Mrs. Susan’s +consolidated fund of four pounds seventeen shillings and ninepence, +will be altogether adequate to the maintenance of such a +family as you seem likely to have.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> Why, sir, in t’ virst pleace I doan’t +know what be Zukey’s intentions in that respect——Od rabbit +it, Zukey! doan’t pinch zo——and in t’ next pleace, wi’ all due +submission to you and General Reason the Methody preacher, +I takes it to be our look-out, and none o’ nobody’s else.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> But it is somebody’s else, for this reason; that +if you cannot maintain your own children, the parish must do +it for you.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> Vor zartin—in a zort o’ way; and bad +enough at best. But I wants no more to do wi’ t’ parish than +parish wi’ me.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> I dare say you do not, at present. But, my +good friend, when the cares of a family come upon you, your +independence of spirit will give way to necessity; and if, by +any accident, you are thrown out of work, as in the present +times many honest fellows are, what will you do then?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> Do the best I can, measter, az I always +does, and nobody can’t do no better.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Do you suppose, then, you are doing the best +you can now, in marrying, with such a doubtful prospect +before you? How will you bring up your children?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> Why, in the vear o’ the Lord, to be zure.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Of course: but how will you bring them up to +get their living?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> That’s as thereafter may happen. +<span class='pageno' id='Page_266'>266</span>They woan’t starve, I’se warrant ’em, if they teakes after +their veyther. But I zees now who General Reason be. He +be one o’ your sinecure vundholder peaper-money taxing men, +as isn’t satisfied wi’ takin’ t’ bread out o’ t’ poor man’s mouth, +and zending his chilern to army and navy, and vactories, and +suchlike, but wants to take away his wife into t’ bargain.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> There, my honest friend, you have fallen into a +radical mistake, which I shall try to elucidate for your benefit. +It is owing to poor people having more children than they can +maintain, that those children are obliged to go to the army +and navy, and consequently that statesmen and conquerors +find so many ready instruments for the oppression and +destruction of the human species: it follows, therefore, that if +people would not marry till they could be certain of maintaining +all their children comfortably at home——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> Lord love you, that be all mighty voine +rigmarole; but the short and the long be this: I can’t live +without Zukey, nor Zukey without I, can you, Zukey?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bride.</em> No, zure, Robin.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Bridegroom.</em> Now there be a plain downright honest-hearted +old English girl; none o’ your quality madams, as +zays one thing and means another; and zo you may tell +General Reason he may teake away chair and teable, salt-box +and trencher, bed and bedding, pig and pig-stye, but neither +he nor all his peaper-men together shall take away his own +Zukey vrom Robin Ruddyfeace; if they shall I’m doomed.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘What profane wretch,’ said the Reverend Mr. Portpipe, +emerging from the church, ‘what profane wretch is swearing +in the very gate of the temple?’ and seeing by the bridegroom’s +confusion that he was the culprit, he reprimanded +him severely, and declared he would not marry him that day. +The very thought of such a disappointment was too much for +poor Robin to bear, and, after one or two ineffectual efforts to +speak, he distorted his face into a most rueful expression, and +struck up such a roar of crying as completely electrified the +Rev. Mr. Portpipe, whose wrath, nevertheless, was not to be +mollified by Robin’s grief and contrition, but yielded at length +to the intercessions of Mr. Forester. Robin’s face cleared up +in an instant, and the natural broad grin of his ruddy countenance +shone forth through his tears like the sun through a shower. +‘You are such an honest and warm-hearted fellow,’ said Mr. +<span class='pageno' id='Page_267'>267</span>Forester, putting a bank-note into Robin’s hand, ‘that you must +not refuse me the pleasure of making this little addition to +Mistress Susan’s consolidated fund.’—‘Od rabbit me!’ said the +bridegroom, overcome with joy and surprise, ‘I doan’t know who +thee beest, but thee beesn’t General Reason, that’s vor zartin.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The rustic party then followed the Reverend Mr. Portpipe +into the church. Robin, when he reached the porch, looked +round over his shoulder to Mr. Fax, and said with a very arch +look, ‘My dutiful sarvice to General Reason.’ And looking +round a second time before he entered the door, added: ‘and +Zukey’s too.’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_268'>268</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXXVI<br> <span class='c013'>THE VICARAGE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>When the Rev. Mr. Portpipe had despatched his ‘press of +business,’ he set before his guests in the old oak parlour of the +vicarage a cold turkey and ham, a capacious jug of ‘incomparable +ale,’ and a bottle of his London Particular; all which, +on trial, were approved to be excellent, and a second bottle of +the latter was very soon required, and produced with great +alacrity. The reverend gentleman expressed much anxiety in +relation to the mysterious circumstance of the disappearance +of Anthelia, on whom he pronounced a very warm eulogium, +saying she was the flower of the mountains, the type of ideal +beauty, the daughter of music, the rosebud of sweetness, and +the handmaid of charity. He professed himself unable to +throw the least light on the transaction, but supposed she had +been spirited away for some nefarious purpose. He said that +the mountain road had been explored without success in all its +ramifications, not only by Mr. Hippy and the visitors and +domestics of Melincourt, but by all the peasants and mountaineers +of the vicinity—that it led through a most desolate and +inhospitable tract of country, and he would advise them, if +they persisted in their intention of following it themselves, to +partake of his poor hospitality till morning, and set forward +with the first dawn of daylight. Mr. Fax seconded this +proposal, and Mr. Forester complied.</p> + +<p class='c007'>They spent the evening in the old oak parlour, and conversed +on various subjects, during which a knotty point opposing +itself to the solution of an historical question, Mr. Forester +expressed a wish to be allowed access to the reverend gentleman’s +library. The reverend gentleman hummed awhile with +great gravity and deliberation: then slowly rising from his +<span class='pageno' id='Page_269'>269</span>large arm-chair, he walked across the room to the farther +corner, where throwing open the door of a little closet, he said +with extreme complacency, ‘There is my library: Homer, +Virgil, and Horace, for old acquaintance sake, and the credit +of my cloth: Tillotson, Atterbury, and Jeremy Taylor, for +materials of exhortation and ingredients of sound doctrine: +and for my own private amusement in an occasional half-hour +between my dinner and my nap, a translation of Rabelais and +<cite>The Tale of a Tub</cite>.’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> A well-chosen collection.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Portpipe.</em>—<i><span lang="la">Multum in parvo.</span></i> But there is +something that may amuse you: a little drawer of mineral +specimens that have been picked up in this vicinity, and a +fossil or two. Among the latter is a curious bone that was +found in a hill just by, invested with stalactite.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> The bone of a human thumb, unquestionably.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Portpipe.</em> Very probably.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Which, by its comparative proportion, +must have belonged to an individual about eleven feet six or +seven inches in height: there are no such men now.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Except, perhaps, among the Patagonians, +whose existence is, however, disputed.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> It is disputed on no tenable ground, but +that of the narrow and bigoted vanity of civilised men, who, +pent in the unhealthy limits of towns and cities, where they +dwindle from generation to generation in a fearful rapidity of +declension towards the abyss of the infinitely little, in which +they will finally vanish from the system of nature, will not +admit that there ever were, or are, or can be, better, stronger, +and healthier men than themselves. The Patagonians are a +vagrant nation, without house or home, and are, therefore, only +occasionally seen on the coast: but because some voyagers +have not seen them, I know not why we should impeach the +evidence of those who have. The testimony of a man of +honour, like Mr. Byron, would alone have been sufficient: but +all his officers and men gave the same account. And there +are other testimonies: that, for instance, of M. de Guyot, who +brought from the coast of Patagonia a skeleton of one of these +great men, which measured between twelve and thirteen feet. +This skeleton he was bringing to Europe, but happening to be +<span class='pageno' id='Page_270'>270</span>caught in a great storm, and having on board a Spanish +Bishop (the Archbishop of Lima), who was of opinion that the +storm was caused by the bones of this Pagan which they had +on board; and having persuaded the crew that this was the +case, the captain was obliged to throw the skeleton overboard. +The Bishop died soon after, and was thrown overboard in his +turn. I could have wished that he had been thrown overboard +sooner, and then the bones of the Patagonian would +have arrived in Europe.<a id='r92'></a><a href='#f92' class='c012'><sup>[92]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>The Rev. Mr. Portpipe.</em> Your wish is orthodox, inasmuch +as the Bishop was himself a Pagan, and moreover an Inquisitor. +And your doctrine of large men is also orthodox, for the sons +of Anak and the family of Goliath did once exist, though now +their race is extinct.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> The multiplication of diseases, the diminution +of strength, and the contraction of the term of existence, +keep pace with the diminution of the stature of men. The +mortality of a manufacturing town, compared with that of a +mountain village, is more than three to one, which clearly +shows the evil effects of the departure from natural life, and of +the coacervation of multitudes within the narrow precincts of +cities, where the breath of so many animals, and the exhalations +from the dead, the dying, and corrupted things of all +kinds, make the air little better than a slow poison, and so +offensive as to be perceptible to the sense of those who are not +accustomed to it; for the wandering Arabs will smell a town +at the distance of several leagues. And in this country the +cottagers who are driven by the avarice of landlords and great +tenants to seek a subsistence in towns, are very soon destroyed +by the change.<a id='r93'></a><a href='#f93' class='c012'><sup>[93]</sup></a> And this hiving of human beings is not the +only evil effect of commerce, which tends also to keep up a +constant circulation of the elements of destruction, and to +make the vices and diseases of one country the vices and +diseases of all.<a id='r94'></a><a href='#f94' class='c012'><sup>[94]</sup></a> Thus, with every extension of our intercourse +with distant lands, we bring home some new seed of death; +and how many we leave as vestiges of our visitation, let the +South Sea Islanders testify. Consider, too, the frightful consequences +of the consumption of spirituous liquors: a practice +so destructive, that if all the devils were again to be assembled +<span class='pageno' id='Page_271'>271</span>in Pandemonium to contrive the ruin of the human species, +nothing so mischievous could be devised by them;<a id='r95'></a><a href='#f95' class='c012'><sup>[95]</sup></a> but which +it is considered politic to encourage, according to our method +of raising money on the vices of the people.<a id='r96'></a><a href='#f96' class='c012'><sup>[96]</sup></a> When these +and many other causes of destruction are considered, it would +be wonderful indeed if every new generation were not, as all +experience proves that it is, smaller, weaker, more diseased, +and more miserable than the preceding.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Do you find, in the progress of science and the +rapid diffusion of intellectual light, no counterpoise to this +mass of physical calamity, even admitting it to exist in the +extent you suppose?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Without such a counterpoise the condition +of human nature would be desperate indeed. The intellectual, +as I have often observed to you, are nourished at the expense +of the animal faculties.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> You cannot, then, conceive the existence of +<i><span lang="la">mens sana in corpore sano</span></i>?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Scarcely in the present state of human +degeneracy: at best in a very limited sense.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Nevertheless you do, nay, you must acknowledge +that the intellectual, which is the better part of human +nature, is in a progress of rapid improvement, continually +enlarging its views and multiplying its acquisitions.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> The collective stock of knowledge which is +the common property of scientific men necessarily increases, +and will increase from the circumstance of admitting the cooperation +of numbers: but collective knowledge is as distinct +from individual mental power as it is confessedly unconnected +with wisdom and moral virtue, and independent of political +liberty. A man of modern times, with machines of complicated +powers, will lift a heavier mass than that which Hector hurled +from his unassisted arm against the Grecian gates; but take +away his mechanism, and what comparison is there between +him and Hector? In the same way a modern man of science +<em>knows</em> more than Pythagoras knew: but consider them with +relation only to <em>mental power</em>, and what comparison remains +between them? No more than between a modern poet and +Homer—a comparison which the most strenuous partisan of +modern improvement will scarcely venture to institute.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_272'>272</span><em>Mr. Fax.</em> I will venture to oppose Shakespeare to him +nevertheless.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> That is, however, going back two centuries, +to a state of society very peculiar, and very fertile in genius. +Shakespeare is the great phenomenon of the modern world, but +his men and women are beings like ourselves; whereas those +of Homer are of a nobler and mightier race; and his poetry is +worthy of his characters: it is the language of the gods.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester rose, and approached the little closet, with +the avowed intention of taking down Homer. ‘Take care +how you touch him,’ said the Reverend Mr. Portpipe: ‘he is +in a very dusty condition, for he has not been disturbed these +thirty years.’</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_273'>273</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXXVI<br> <span class='c013'>THE MOUNTAINS</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>They followed the mountain road till they arrived at the spot +where it divided into several branches, one of which they +selected on some principle of preference, which we are not +sagacious enough to penetrate. They now proceeded by a +gradual ascent of several miles along a rugged passage of the +hills, where the now flowerless heath was the only vestige of +vegetation; and the sound of the little streams that everywhere +gleamed beside their way, the only manifestation of the life and +motion of nature.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘It is a subject worthy of consideration,’ said Mr. Fax, +‘how far scenes like these are connected with the genius of +liberty: how far the dweller of the mountains, who is certainly +surrounded by more sublime excitements, has more loftiness +of thought, and more freedom of spirit, than the cultivator of +the plains.’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> A modern poet has observed, that the +voices of the sea and the mountains are the two voices of +liberty: the words mountain liberty have, indeed, become so +intimately associated, that I never yet found any one who even +thought of questioning their necessary and natural connection.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> And yet I question it much; and in the present +state of human society I hold the universal inculcation of such +a sentiment, in poetry and romance, to be not only a most +gross delusion, but an error replete with the most pernicious +practical consequences. For I have often seen a young man +of high and aspiring genius, full of noble enthusiasm for the +diffusion of truth and the general happiness of mankind, withdrawn +from all intercourse with polished and intellectual +society, by the distempered idea that he would nowhere find +<span class='pageno' id='Page_274'>274</span>fit aliment for his high cogitations, but among heaths, and +rocks, and torrents.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> In a state of society so corrupted as that +in which we live, the best instructors and companions are +ancient books; and these are best studied in those congenial +solitudes, where the energies of nature are most pure and uncontrolled, +and the aspect of external things recalls in some +measure the departed glory of the world.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Holding, as I do, that no branch of knowledge +is valuable, but such as in its ultimate results has a plain and +practical tendency to the general diffusion of moral and +political truth, you must allow me to doubt the efficacy of +solitary intercourse with stocks and stones, however rugged +and fantastic in their shapes, towards the production of this +effect.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> It is matter of historical testimony that +occasional retirement into the recesses of nature has produced +the most salutary effects of the very kind you require, in the +instance of some of the most illustrious minds that have +adorned the name of man.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> That the health and purity of the country, its +verdure and its sunshine, have the most beneficial influence +on the mental and corporeal faculties, I am very far from being +inclined to deny: but this is a different consideration from that +of the connection between the scenery of the mountains and +the genius of liberty. Look into the records of the world. +What have the mountains done for freedom and mankind? +When have the mountains, to speak in the cant of the new +school of poetry, ‘sent forth a voice of power’ to awe the +oppressors of the world? Mountaineers are for the most part +a stupid and ignorant race: and where there are stupidity and +ignorance, there will be superstition; and where there is superstition, +there will be slavery.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> To a certain extent I cannot but agree with +you. The names of Hampden and Milton are associated with +the level plains and flat pastures of Buckinghamshire; but I +cannot now remember what names of true greatness and unshaken +devotion to general liberty are associated with these +heathy rocks and cloud-capped mountains of Cumberland. +We have seen a little horde of poets, who brought hither from +the vales of the south the harps which they had consecrated +<span class='pageno' id='Page_275'>275</span>to Truth and Liberty, to acquire new energy in the mountain +winds: and now those harps are attuned to the praise of +luxurious power, to the strains of courtly sycophancy, and to +the hymns of exploded superstition. But let not the innocent +mountains bear the burden of their transgressions.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> All I mean to say is, that there is nothing in +the nature of mountain scenery either to make men free or to +keep them so. The only source of freedom is intellectual +light. The ignorant are always slaves, though they dwell +among the Andes. The wise are always free, though they +cultivate a savannah. Who is so stupid and so servile as a +Swiss, whom you find, like a piece of living furniture, the +human latch of every great man’s door?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Let us look back to former days, to the +mountains of the North:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in14'>Wild the Runic faith,</div> + <div class='line'>And wild the realms where Scandinavian chiefs</div> + <div class='line'>And Scalds arose, and hence the Scald’s strong verse</div> + <div class='line'>Partook the savage wildness. And methinks,</div> + <div class='line'>Amid such scenes as these the poet’s soul</div> + <div class='line'>Might best attain full growth.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> As to the ‘Scald’s strong verse,’ I must say I +have never seen any specimens of it that I did not think mere +trash. It is little more than a rhapsody of rejoicing in carnage, +a ringing of changes on the biting sword and the flowing of +blood and the feast of the raven and the vulture, and fulsome +flattery of the chieftain, of whom the said Scald was the abject +slave, vassal, parasite, and laureate, interspersed with continual +hints that he ought to be well paid for his lying panegyrics.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> There is some justice in your observations: +nevertheless, I must still contend that those who seek the +mountains in a proper frame of feeling will find in them +images of energy and liberty, harmonising most aptly with the +loftiness of an unprejudiced mind, and nerving the arm of +resistance to every variety of oppression and imposture that +winds the chains of power round the free-born spirit of man.</p> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_276'>276</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXXVIII<br> <span class='c013'>THE FRACAS</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>After a long ramble among heath and rock, and over moss +and moor, they began to fear the probability of being benighted +among those desolate wilds, when fortunately they found that +their track crossed one of the principal roads, which they +followed for a short time, and entered a small town, where +they stopped for the night at an inn. They were shown upstairs +into an apartment separated from another only by a +movable partition, which allowed the two rooms to be occasionally +laid into one. They were just sitting down to dinner +when they heard the voices of some newly-arrived company +in the adjoining apartment, and distinguished the tones of a +female voice indicative of alarm and anxiety, and the masculine +accents of one who seemed to be alternately comforting the +afflicted fair one, and swearing at the obsequious waiter, with +reiterated orders, as it appeared, for another chaise immediately. +Mr. Fax was not long in divining that the new-comers were +two runaway lovers in momentary apprehension of being overtaken; +and this conjecture was confirmed, when, after a furious +rattle of wheels in the yard, the door of the next apartment +was burst open, and a violent scream from the lady was +followed by a gruff shout of—‘So ho, miss, here you are. +Gretna, eh? Your journey’s marred for this time; and if you +get off again, say you have my consent—that’s all.’ Low soft +tones of supplication ensued, but in undistinguishable words, +and continued to be repeated in the intervals of the following +harangue: ‘Love indeed! don’t tell me. Aren’t you my +daughter? Answer me that. And haven’t I a right over +you till you are twenty-one? You may marry then; but not +a rap of the ready: my money’s my own all my life. Haven’t +<span class='pageno' id='Page_277'>277</span>I chosen you a proper husband—a nice rich young fellow not +above forty-five?—Sixty, you minx! no such thing. Rolling +in riches: member for Threevotes: two places, three pensions, +and a sinecure: famous borough interest to make all your +children generals and archbishops. And here a miserable +vagabond with only five hundred a year in landed property.—Pish! +love indeed!—own age—congenial minds—pshaw! all +a farce. Money—money—money—that’s the matter: money +is the first thing—money is the second thing—money is the +third thing—money is the only thing—money is everything +and all things.’—‘Vagabond, sir,’ said a third voice: ‘I am +a gentleman, and have money sufficient to maintain your +daughter in comfort.’—‘Comfort!’ said the gruff voice again; +‘comfort with five hundred a year, ha! ha! ha! eh, Sir +Bonus?’—‘Hooh! hooh! hooh! very droll indeed,’ said a +fourth voice, in a sound that seemed a mixture of a cough +and a laugh.—‘Very well, sir,’ said the third voice; ‘I shall +not part with my treasure quietly, I assure you.’—‘Rebellion! +flat rebellion against parental authority,’ exclaimed the second. +‘But I’m too much for you, youngster. Where are all my +varlets and rascals?’</p> + +<p class='c007'>A violent trampling of feet, and various sounds of tumult +ensued, as if the old gentleman and his party were tearing the +lovers asunder by main force; and at length an agonising +scream from the young lady seemed to announce that their +purpose was accomplished. Mr. Forester started up with a +view of doing all in his power to assist the injured damsel; +and Sir Oran Haut-ton, who, as the reader has seen, had very +strong feelings of natural justice, and a most chivalrous +sympathy with females in distress, rushed with a desperate +impulse against the partition, and hurled a great portion of it, +with a violent crash, into the adjoining apartment. This unexpected +event had the effect of fixing the whole group within +for a few moments in motionless surprise in their respective +places.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The fat and portly father, who was no other than our old +acquaintance Sir Gregory Greenmould, and the old valetudinarian +he had chosen for his daughter, Sir Bonus Mac Scrip, +were directing the efforts of their myrmidons to separate the +youthful pair. The young lady was clinging to her lover with +the tenacity of the tendrils of a vine: the young gentleman’s +<span class='pageno' id='Page_278'>278</span>right arm was at liberty, and he was keeping the assailants at +bay with the poker, which he had seized on the first irruption +of the foe, and which had left vestiges of its impression, to +speak in ancient phraseology, in various green wounds and +bloody coxcombs.</p> + +<p class='c007'>As Sir Oran was not habituated to allow any very long +process of syllogistic reasoning to interfere between his conception +and execution of the dictates of natural justice, he +commenced operations by throwing the assailants one by one +downstairs, who, as fast as they could rise from the ground, +ran or limped away into sundry holes and coverts. Sir Bonus +Mac Scrip retreated through the breach, and concealed himself +under the dining-table in Mr. Forester’s apartment. Mr. +Forester succeeded in preventing Sir Gregory from being +thrown after his myrmidons: but Sir Oran kept the fat baronet +a close prisoner in the corner of the room, while the lovers +slipped away into the inn-yard, where the chaise they had +ordered was in readiness; and the cracking of whips, the +trampling of horses, and the rattling of wheels announced the +final discomfiture of the schemes of Sir Gregory Greenmould +and the hopes of Sir Bonus Mac Scrip.</p> + +<div id='i_279' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_279'>279</span> +<img src='images/i_279.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Sir Bonus Mac Scrip retreated through the breach, and concealed himself under the dining-table.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_281'>281</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXXIX<br> <span class='c013'>MAINCHANCE VILLA</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The next day they resumed their perquisitions, still without +any clue to guide them in their search. They had hitherto +had the advantage of those halcyon days which often make +the middle of winter a season of serenity and sunshine; but, +on this day, towards the evening, the sky grew black with +clouds, the snow fell rapidly in massy flakes, and the mountains +and valleys were covered with one uniform veil of whiteness. +All vestiges of roads and paths were obliterated. They +were winding round the side of a mountain, and their situation +began to wear a very unpromising aspect, when, on a sudden +turn of the road, the trees and chimneys of a villa burst upon +their view in the valley below. To this they bent their way, +and on ringing at the gate-bell, and making the requisite +inquiries, they found it to be Mainchance Villa, the new +residence of Peter Paypaul Paperstamp, Esquire, whom we +introduced to our readers in the twenty-eighth chapter. They +sent in their names, and received a polite invitation to walk in. +They were shown into a parlour, where they found their old +acquaintance Mr. Derrydown tête-à-tête at the piano with Miss +Celandina, with whom he was singing a duet. Miss Celandina +said, ‘her papa was just then engaged, but would soon have +the pleasure of waiting on them: in the meantime Mr. Derrydown +would do the honours of the house.’ Miss Celandina +left the room; and they learned in conversation with Mr. +Derrydown, that the latter, finding his case hopeless with +Anthelia, had discovered some good reasons in an old ballad +for placing his affections where they would be more welcome; +he had therefore thrown himself at the feet of Miss Celandina +Paperstamp; the young lady’s father, having inquired into +<span class='pageno' id='Page_282'>282</span>Mr. Derrydown’s fortune, had concluded, from the answer he +received, that it would be a very <em>good match</em> for his daughter; +and the day was already definitely arranged on which Miss +Celandina Paperstamp was to be metamorphosed into Mrs. +Derrydown.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Derrydown informed them that they would not see +Mr. Paperstamp till dinner, as he was closeted in close conference +with Mr. Feathernest, Mr. Vamp, Mr. Killthedead, +and Mr. Anyside Antijack, a very important personage just +arrived from abroad on the occasion of a letter from Mr. +Mystic of Cimmerian Lodge, denouncing an approaching period +of public light, which had filled Messieurs Paperstamp, Feathernest, +Vamp, Killthedead, and Antijack with the deepest dismay; +and they were now holding a consultation on the best means +to be adopted for totally and finally extinguishing the light of +the human understanding. ‘I am excluded from the council,’ +proceeded Mr. Derrydown, ‘and it is their intention to keep +me altogether in the dark on the subject; but I shall wait +very patiently for the operation of the second bottle, when the +wit will be out of the brain, and the cat will be out of the bag.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Is that picture a family piece?’ said Mr. Fax.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I hardly know,’ said Mr. Derrydown, ‘whether there is +any relationship between Mr. Paperstamp and the persons +there represented; but there is at least a very intimate connection. +The old woman in the scarlet cloak is the illustrious +Mother Goose;—the two children playing at see-saw are +Margery Daw and Tommy with his Banbury cake;—the little +boy and girl, the one with a broken pitcher, and the other +with a broken head, are little Jack and Jill: the house, at the +door of which the whole party is grouped, is the famous house +that Jack built; you see the clock through the window and +the mouse running up it, as in that sublime strain of immortal +genius, entitled Dickery Dock: and the boy in the corner is +little Jack Horner eating his Christmas pie. The latter is one +of the most splendid examples on record of the admirable +practical doctrine of “taking care of number one,” and he is +therefore in double favour with Mr. Paperstamp, for his excellence +as a pattern of moral and political wisdom, and for the +beauty of the poetry in which his great achievement of extracting +a plum from the Christmas pie is celebrated. Mr. Paperstamp, +Mr. Feathernest, Mr. Vamp, Mr. Killthedead, and Mr. +<span class='pageno' id='Page_283'>283</span>Anyside Antijack are unanimously agreed that the Christmas +pie in question is a type and symbol of the public purse; and +as that is a pie in which every one of them has a finger, they +look with great envy and admiration on little Jack Horner, +who extracted a <em>plum</em> from it, and who, I believe, haunts their +dreams with his pie and his plum, saying, “Go, and do thou +likewise!”’</p> + +<p class='c007'>The secret council broke up, and Mr. Paperstamp entering +with his four compeers, bade the new-comers welcome to +Mainchance Villa, and introduced to them Mr. Anyside Antijack. +Mr. Paperstamp did not much like Mr. Forester’s +modes of thinking; indeed he disliked them the more, from +their having once been his own; but a man of large landed +property was well worth a little civility, as there was no knowing +what turn affairs might take, what party might come into +place, and who might have the cutting up of the Christmas pie.</p> + +<p class='c007'>They now adjourned to dinner, during which, as usual, +little was said, and much was done. When the wine began to +circulate, Mr. Feathernest held forth for some time in praise +of himself; and by the assistance of a little smattering in Mr. +Mystic’s synthetical logic, proved himself to be a model of +taste, genius, consistency, and public virtue. This was too +good an example to be thrown away; and Mr. Paperstamp +followed it up with a very lofty encomium on his own virtues +and talents, declaring he did not believe so great a genius, or +so amiable a man as himself, Peter Paypaul Paperstamp, +Esquire, of Mainchance Villa, had appeared in the world since +the days of Jack the Giantkiller, whose <em>coat of darkness</em> he +hoped would become the costume of all the rising generation, +whenever adequate provision should be made for the whole +people to be taught and trained.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Vamp, Mr. Killthedead, and Mr. Anyside Antijack +were all very loud in their encomiums of the wine, which Mr. +Paperstamp observed had been tasted for him by his friend +Mr. Feathernest, who was a great connoisseur in ‘Sherris sack.’</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Derrydown was very intent on keeping the bottle in +motion, in the hope of bringing the members of the critico-poetical +council into that state of blind self-love, when the +great vacuum of the head, in which brain was, like Mr. Harris’s +indefinite article, <em>supplied by negation</em>, would be inflated with +oenogen gas, or, in other words, with the fumes of wine, the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_284'>284</span>effect of which, according to psychological chemistry, is, after +filling up every chink and crevice of the cranial void, to evolve +through the labial valve, bringing with it all the secrets both +of memory and anticipation which had been carefully laid up +in the said chinks and crevices. This state at length arrived; +and Mr. Derrydown, to quicken its operation, contrived to pick +a quarrel with Mr. Vamp, who being naturally very testy and +waspish, poured out upon him a torrent of invectives, to the +infinite amusement of Mr. Derrydown, who, however, affecting +to be angry, said to him in a tragical tone,</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Thus in dregs of folly sunk,</div> + <div class='line'>Art thou, miscreant, mad or drunk?</div> + <div class='line'>Cups intemperate always teach</div> + <div class='line'>Virulent abusive speech.<a id='r97'></a><a href='#f97' class='c012'><sup>[97]</sup></a></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>This produced a general cry of ‘Chair! chair!’ Mr. Paperstamp +called Mr. Derrydown to order. The latter apologised +with as much gravity as he could assume, and said, to make +amends for his warmth, he would give them a toast, and pronounced +accordingly: ‘Your scheme for extinguishing the +light of the human understanding: may it meet the success it +merits.’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> Nothing can be in a more hopeful +train. We must set the alarmists at work, as in the Antijacobin +war: when, to be sure, we had one or two honest men among +our opposers<a id='r98'></a><a href='#f98' class='c012'><sup>[98]</sup></a>—(<em>Mr. Feathernest and Mr. Paperstamp smiled +and bowed</em>)—though they were for the most part ill-read in +history, and ignorant of human nature.<a id='r99'></a><a href='#f99' class='c012'><sup>[99]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest and Mr. Paperstamp.</em> How, sir?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> For the most part, observe me. +Of course I do not include my quondam antagonists, and now +very dear friends, Mr. Paperstamp and Mr. Feathernest, who +have altered their minds, as the sublime Burke altered his +mind,<a id='r100'></a><a href='#f100' class='c012'><sup>[100]</sup></a> from the most disinterested motives.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Yet there are some persons, and those not +the lowest in the scale of moral philosophy, who have called +the sublime Burke a pensioned apostate.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp.</em> Moral philosophy! Every man who talks of +<span class='pageno' id='Page_285'>285</span>moral philosophy is a thief and a rascal, and will never make +any scruple of seducing his neighbour’s wife, or stealing his +neighbour’s property.<a id='r101'></a><a href='#f101' class='c012'><sup>[101]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> You can prove that assertion of course.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp.</em> Prove it! The editor of the Legitimate +Review required to prove an assertion!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> The church is in danger!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I confess I do not see how the church is +endangered by a simple request to prove the asserted necessary +connection between the profession of moral philosophy and the +practice of robbery.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> For your satisfaction, sir, and from +my disposition to oblige you, as you are a gentleman of family +and fortune, I will prove it. Every moral philosopher discards +the creed and commandments:<a id='r102'></a><a href='#f102' class='c012'><sup>[102]</sup></a> the sixth commandment says, +Thou shalt not steal; therefore, every moral philosopher is a +thief.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest, Mr. Killthedead, and Mr. Paperstamp.</em> +Nothing can be more logical. The church is in danger! The +church is in danger!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp.</em> Keep up that. It is an infallible tocsin for +rallying all the old women about us when everything else fails.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp, Mr. Feathernest, Mr. Paperstamp, Mr. Killthedead, +and Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> The church is in danger! +the church is in danger!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I am very well aware that the time has +been when the voice of reason could be drowned by clamour, +and by rallying round the banners of corruption and delusion +a mass of blind and bigoted prejudices, that had no real +connection with the political question which it was the object +to cry down: but I see with pleasure that those days are gone. +The people read and think: their eyes are opened; they know +that all their grievances arise from the pressure of taxation far +beyond their means, from the fictitious circulation of paper-money, +and from the corrupt and venal state of popular +representation. These facts lie in a very small compass; and +till you can reason them out of this knowledge, you may +vociferate ‘The church is in danger’ for ever, without a single +unpaid voice to join in the outcry.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> My friend Mr. Mystic holds that it is a +<span class='pageno' id='Page_286'>286</span>very bad thing for the people to read: so it certainly is. Oh +for the happy ignorance of former ages! when the people were +dolts, and knew themselves to be so.<a id='r103'></a><a href='#f103' class='c012'><sup>[103]</sup></a> An ignorant man, +judging from instinct, judges much better than a man who +reads, and is consequently misinformed.<a id='r104'></a><a href='#f104' class='c012'><sup>[104]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp.</em> Unless he reads the Legitimate Review.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Paperstamp.</em> Darkness! darkness! Jack the Giantkiller’s +coat of darkness! That is your only wear.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> There was a time when we could +lead the people any way, and make them join with all their +lungs in the yell of war: then they were people of sound +judgment, and of honest and honourable feelings:<a id='r105'></a><a href='#f105' class='c012'><sup>[105]</sup></a> but when +they pretend to feel the pressure of personal suffering, and to +read and think about its causes and remedies—such impudence +is intolerable.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Are they not the same people still? If they +were capable of judging then, are they not capable of judging +now?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> By no means: they are only +capable of judging when they see with our eyes; then they see +straight forward; when they pretend to use their own, they +squint.<a id='r106'></a><a href='#f106' class='c012'><sup>[106]</sup></a> They saw with our eyes in the beginning of the Antijacobin +war. They would have determined on that war, if it +had been decided by universal suffrage.<a id='r107'></a><a href='#f107' class='c012'><sup>[107]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Why was not the experiment tried?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> It was not convenient. But they +were in a most amiable ferment of intolerant loyalty.<a id='r108'></a><a href='#f108' class='c012'><sup>[108]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Of which the proof is to be found in the +immortal Gagging Bills, by which that intolerant loyalty was +coerced.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> The Gagging Bills? Hem! ha! +What shall we say to that? (<em>To Mr. Vamp.</em>)</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp.</em> Say? The church is in danger!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest, Mr. Paperstamp, Mr. Killthedead, and +Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> The church is in danger! the church +is in danger!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Why was a war undertaken to prevent +revolution, if all the people of this country were so well fortified +<span class='pageno' id='Page_287'>287</span>in loyalty? Did they go to war for the purpose of forcibly +preventing themselves from following a bad example against +their own will? For this is what your argument seems to +imply?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> That the people were in a certain degree of +ferment is true: but it required a great deal of management +and delusion to turn that ferment into the channel of foreign +war.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> Well, sir, and there was no other +way to avoid domestic reform, which every man who desires is +a ruffian, a scoundrel, and an incendiary,<a id='r109'></a><a href='#f109' class='c012'><sup>[109]</sup></a> as much so as those +two rascals Rousseau and Voltaire, who were the trumpeters of +Hebert and Marat.<a id='r110'></a><a href='#f110' class='c012'><sup>[110]</sup></a> Reform, sir, is not to be thought of; we +have been at war twenty-five years to prevent it; and to have +it, after all, would be very hard. We have got the national +debt instead of it: in my opinion a very pretty substitute.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Derrydown</em> sings—</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>And I’ll hang on thy neck, my love, my love,</div> + <div class='line'>And I’ll hang on thy neck for aye!</div> + <div class='line'>And closer and closer I’ll press thee, my love,</div> + <div class='line'>Until my <em>dying day</em>.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> I am happy to reflect that the silly +question of reform will have very few supporters in the +Honourable House: but few as they are, the number would be +lessened if all who come into Parliament by means which that +question attempts to stigmatise would abstain from voting upon +it. Undoubtedly such practices are scandalous, as being +legally, and therefore morally wrong: but it is false that any +evil to the legislature arises from them.<a id='r111'></a><a href='#f111' class='c012'><sup>[111]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Perhaps not, sir; but very great evil arises +through them from the legislature to the people. Your admission, +that they are legally, and <em>therefore</em> morally wrong, +implies a very curious method of deriving morality from law; +but I suspect there is much immorality that is perfectly legal, +and much legality that is supremely immoral. But these +practices, you admit, are both legally and morally wrong; yet +you call it a silly question to propose their cessation; and you +assert that all who wish to abolish them, all who wish to +<span class='pageno' id='Page_288'>288</span>abolish illegal and immoral practices, are ruffians, scoundrels, +and incendiaries.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Killthedead.</em> Yes, and madmen moreover, and villains.<a id='r112'></a><a href='#f112' class='c012'><sup>[112]</sup></a> +We are all upon gunpowder! The insane and the desperate +are scattering firebrands!<a id='r113'></a><a href='#f113' class='c012'><sup>[113]</sup></a> We shall all be blown up in a +<span class='pageno' id='Page_289'>289</span>body: sinecures, rotten boroughs, secret-service-men, and the +whole <em>honourable band of gentlemen pensioners</em>, will all be +blown up in a body! <em>A stand! a stand! it is time to make +a stand against popular encroachment!</em></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp, Mr. Feathernest, and Mr. Paperstamp.</em> The +church is in danger!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> Here is the great blunderbuss +that is to blow the whole nation to atoms! the Spencean +blunderbuss! (<em>Saying these words he produced a popgun +from his pocket</em>,<a id='r114'></a><a href='#f114' class='c012'><sup>[114]</sup></a> <em>and shot off a paper pellet in the ear of Mr. +Paperstamp</em>,</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><em>Who in a kind of study sate</em></div> + <div class='line in2'><em>Denominated brown</em>;</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'><em>which made the latter spring up in sudden fright, to the irremediable +perdition of a decanter of ‘Sherris sack,’ over which +Mr. Feathernest lamented bitterly.</em>)</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I do not see what connection the Spencean +theory, the impracticable chimaera of an obscure herd of fanatics, +has with the great national question of parliamentary reform.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> Sir, you may laugh at this popgun, +<span class='pageno' id='Page_290'>290</span>but you will find it the mallet of Thor.<a id='r115'></a><a href='#f115' class='c012'><sup>[115]</sup></a> The Spenceans +are far more respectable than the parliamentary reformers, and +have a more distinct and intelligible system!!!<a id='r116'></a><a href='#f116' class='c012'><sup>[116]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp.</em> Bravo! bravo! bravo! There is not another +man in our corps with brass enough to make such an assertion, +but Mr. Anyside Antijack. (<em>Reiterated shouts of Bravo! from +Mr. Vamp, Mr. Feathernest, Mr. Paperstamp, and Mr. Killthedead.</em>)</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Killthedead.</em> Make out that, and our job is done.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> Make it out! Nonsense! I shall +take it for granted: I shall set up the Spencean plan as a more +sensible plan than that of the parliamentary reformers: then +knock down the former, and argue against the latter, <em>a fortiori</em>. +(<em>The shouts of Bravo! here became perfectly deafening, the +critico-poetical corps being by this time much more than half-seas-over.</em>)</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Killthedead.</em>—The members for rotten boroughs are +the most independent members in the Honourable House, and +the representatives of most constituents least so.<a id='r117'></a><a href='#f117' class='c012'><sup>[117]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> How will you prove that?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Killthedead.</em> By calling the former gentlemen, and +the latter mob representatives.<a id='r118'></a><a href='#f118' class='c012'><sup>[118]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp.</em> Nothing can be more logical.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Do you call that logic?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp.</em> Excellent logic. At least it will pass for such +with our readers.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> We, and those who think with us, +are the only wise and good men.<a id='r119'></a><a href='#f119' class='c012'><sup>[119]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> May I take the liberty to inquire what you +mean by a wise and a good man?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> A wise man is he who looks after +the one thing needful; and a good man is he who has it. +The acme of wisdom and goodness in conjunction consists in +appropriating as much as possible of the public money; and +saying to those from whose pockets it is taken, ‘I am perfectly +satisfied with things as they are. Let <em>well</em> alone!’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Paperstamp.</em> We shall make out a very good case; +but you must not forget to call the present public distress an +<span class='pageno' id='Page_291'>291</span>awful dispensation:<a id='r120'></a><a href='#f120' class='c012'><sup>[120]</sup></a> a little pious cant goes a great way +towards turning the thoughts of men from the dangerous and +jacobinical propensity of looking into moral and political causes +for moral and political effects.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> But the moral and political causes are now too +obvious, and too universally known, to be obscured by any +such means. All the arts and eloquence of corruption may +be overthrown by the enumeration of these simple words: +boroughs, taxes, and paper-money.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> Paper-money! What, is the ghost +of bullion abroad?<a id='r121'></a><a href='#f121' class='c012'><sup>[121]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Yes! and till you can make the buried +substance burst the paper cerements of its sepulchre, its ghost +will continue to walk like the ghost of Caesar, saying to the +desolated nation: ‘I am thy evil spirit!’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> I must say, I am very sorry to find +a gentleman like you taking the part of the swinish multitude, +who are only fit for beasts of burden, to raise subsistence for +their betters, pay taxes for placemen, and recruit the army and +navy for the benefit of legitimacy, divine right, the Jesuits, the +Pope, the Inquisition, and the Virgin Mary’s petticoat.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Paperstamp.</em> Hear! hear! hear! Hear the voice +which the stream of Tendency is uttering for elevation of our +thought!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> It was once said by a poet, whose fallen +state none can more bitterly lament than I do:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>We shall exult if they who rule the land</div> + <div class='line'>Be men who hold its many blessings dear,</div> + <div class='line'>Wise, upright, valiant; not a venal band,</div> + <div class='line'>Who are to judge of danger which they fear,</div> + <div class='line'>And honour which they do not understand.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> Poets, sir, are not amenable to censure, +however frequently their political opinions may exhibit marks +of inconsistency.<a id='r122'></a><a href='#f122' class='c012'><sup>[122]</sup></a> The Muse, as a French author says, is a +mere <em>étourdie</em>, a <em>folâtre</em> who may play at her option on heath +or on turf, and transfer her song at pleasure from Hampden to +Ferdinand, and from Washington to Louis.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> If a poet be contented to consider himself +<span class='pageno' id='Page_292'>292</span>in the light of a merry-andrew, be it so. But if he assume +the garb of moral austerity, and pour forth against corruption +and oppression the language of moral indignation, there would +at least be some decency, if, when he changes sides, he would +let the world see that conversion and promotion have not gone +hand in hand.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> What decency might be in that, I know +not: but of this I am very certain, that there would be no +wisdom in it.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> No! no! there would be no +wisdom in it.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> Sir, I am a wise and a good man: mark +that, sir; ay, and an honourable man.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp.</em> ‘So are we all, all honourable men!’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> And we will stick by one another +with heart and hand——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Killthedead.</em> To make a stand against popular +encroachment——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> To bring back the glorious ignorance of +the feudal ages——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Paperstamp.</em> To rebuild the mystic temples of venerable +superstition——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Vamp.</em> To extinguish, totally and finally, the light of +the human understanding——</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Anyside Antijack.</em> And to get all we can for our +trouble!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Feathernest.</em> So we will all say.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Paperstamp.</em> And so we will all sing.</p> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div>QUINTETTO</div> + <div class='c004'><span class='sc'>Mr. Feathernest, Mr. Vamp, Mr. Killthedead, Mr. Paperstamp, and Mr. Anyside Antijack</span></div> + <div class='c004'>To the tune of ‘<em>Turning, turning, turning, as the wheel goes round</em>.’</div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12'>RECITATIVE—MR. PAPERSTAMP</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Jack Horner’s <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span> my learned nurse</div> + <div class='line'>Interpreted to mean the <em>public purse</em>.</div> + <div class='line'>From thence a <em>plum</em> he drew. O happy Horner!</div> + <div class='line'>Who would not be ensconced in thy snug corner?</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'><span class='pageno' id='Page_293'>293</span>THE FIVE</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>While round the public board all eagerly we linger,</div> + <div class='line'>For what we can get we will try, try, try:</div> + <div class='line'>And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,</div> + <div class='line'>We’ll all have a finger in the <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span>.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>MR. FEATHERNEST</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>By my own poetic laws, I’m a dealer in applause</div> + <div class='line'>For those who don’t deserve it, but will buy, buy, buy:</div> + <div class='line'>So round the court I linger, and thus I get a finger,</div> + <div class='line'>A finger, finger, finger in the <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span>.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>THE FIVE</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,</div> + <div class='line'>We’ll all have a finger in the <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span>.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>MR. VAMP</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>My share of pie to win, I will dash through thick and thin,</div> + <div class='line'>And philosophy and liberty shall fly, fly, fly:</div> + <div class='line'>And truth and taste shall know, that their everlasting foe</div> + <div class='line'>Has a finger, finger, finger in the <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span>.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>THE FIVE</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,</div> + <div class='line'>We’ll all have a finger in the <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span>.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>MR. KILLTHEDEAD</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>I’ll make my verses rattle with the din of war and battle,</div> + <div class='line'>For war doth increase sa-la-ry, ry, ry:</div> + <div class='line'>And I’ll shake the public ears with the triumph of Algiers,</div> + <div class='line'>And thus I’ll get a finger in the <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span>.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>THE FIVE</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,</div> + <div class='line'>We’ll all have a finger in the <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span>.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>MR. PAPERSTAMP</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>And while you thrive by ranting, I’ll try my luck at canting,</div> + <div class='line'>And scribble verse and prose all so dry, dry, dry:</div> + <div class='line'>And Mystic’s patent smoke public intellect shall choke,</div> + <div class='line'>And we’ll all have a finger in the <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span>.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>THE FIVE</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>We’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,</div> + <div class='line'>We’ll all have a finger in the <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span>.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_294'>294</span>MR. ANYSIDE ANTIJACK</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>My tailor is so clever, that my coat will turn for ever</div> + <div class='line'>And take any colour you can dye, dye, dye:</div> + <div class='line'>For my earthly wishes are among the loaves and fishes,</div> + <div class='line'>And to have my little finger in the <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span>.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>THE FIVE</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,</div> + <div class='line'>We’ll all have a finger in the <span class='sc'>Christmas pie</span>.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_295'>295</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XL<br> <span class='c013'>THE HOPES OF THE WORLD</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>The mountain-roads being now buried in snow, they were +compelled, on leaving Mainchance Villa, to follow the most +broad and beaten track, and they entered on a turnpike road +which led in the direction of the sea.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I no longer wonder,’ said Mr. Fax, ‘that men in general +are so much disposed as I have found them to look with +supreme contempt on the literary character, seeing the abject +servility and venality by which it is so commonly debased.’<a id='r123'></a><a href='#f123' class='c012'><sup>[123]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> What then becomes of the hopes of the +world, which you have admitted to consist entirely in the +progress of the mind, allowing, as you must allow, the incontrovertible +fact of the physical deterioration of the human race?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> When I speak of the mind, I do not allude +either to poetry or to periodical criticism, nor, in any great +<span class='pageno' id='Page_296'>296</span>degree, to physical science; but I rest my hopes on the very +same basis with Mr. Mystic’s fear—the general diffusion of +moral and political truth.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> For poetry, its best days are gone. Homer, +Shakspeare, and Milton will return no more.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Lucretius we yet may hope for.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Not till superstition and prejudice have been +shorn of a much larger portion of their power. If Lucretius +should arise among us in the present day, exile or imprisonment +would be his infallible portion. We have yet many steps +to make before we shall arrive at the liberality and toleration of +Tiberius!<a id='r124'></a><a href='#f124' class='c012'><sup>[124]</sup></a> And as to physical science, though it does in some +measure weaken the dominion of mental error, yet I fear, where +it proves itself in one instance the friend of human liberty, it +will be found in ninety-nine the slave of corruption and luxury.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> In many cases science is both morally and +politically neutral, and its speculations have no connection +whatever with the business of life.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> It is true; and such speculations are often +called sublime: though the sublimity of uselessness passes my +comprehension. But the neutrality is only apparent: for it +has in these cases the real practical effect, and a most +pernicious one it is, of withdrawing some of the highest and +most valuable minds from the only path of real utility, which I +agree with you to be that of moral and political knowledge, to +pursuits of no more real importance than that of keeping a +dozen eggs at a time dancing one after another in the air.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> If it be admitted, on the one hand, that the +progress of luxury has kept pace with that of physical science, +it must be acknowledged, on the other, that superstition has +decayed in at least an equal proportion; and I think it cannot +be denied that the world is a gainer by the exchange.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> The decay of superstition is immeasurably +beneficial; but the growth of luxury is not, therefore, the less +pernicious. It is lamentable to reflect that <em>there is most +indigence in the richest countries</em>;<a id='r125'></a><a href='#f125' class='c012'><sup>[125]</sup></a> and that the increase of +superfluous enjoyment in the few is counterbalanced by the +<span class='pageno' id='Page_297'>297</span>proportionate diminution of comfort in the many. Splendid +equipages and sumptuous dwellings are far from being +symbols of general prosperity. The palace of luxurious +indolence is much rather the symbol of a thousand hovels, by +the labours and privations of whose wretched inhabitants that +baleful splendour is maintained. Civilisation, vice, and folly +grow old together. Corruption begins among the higher +orders, and from them descends to the people; so that in +every nation the ancient nobility is the first to exhibit +symptoms of corporeal and mental degeneracy, and to show +themselves unfit both for council and war. If you recapitulate +the few titled names that will adorn the history of the present +times, you will find that almost all of them are new creations. +The corporeal decay of mankind I hold to be undeniable: the +increase of general knowledge I allow: but reason is of slow +growth; and if men in general only become more corrupt as +they become more learned, the progress of literature will oppose +no adequate counterpoise to that of avarice, luxury, and disease.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_298'>298</span><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Certainly, the progress of reason is slow, but +the ground which it has once gained it never abandons. The +interest of rulers, and the prejudices of the people, are equally +hostile to everything that comes in the shape of innovation; +but all that now wears the strongest sanction of antiquity was +once received with reluctance under the semblance of novelty: +and that reason, which in the present day can scarcely obtain +a footing from the want of precedents, will grow with the +growth of years, and become a precedent in its turn.<a id='r126'></a><a href='#f126' class='c012'><sup>[126]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Reason may be diffused in society, but it is +only in minds which <em>have courage enough to despise prejudice +and virtue enough to love truth only for itself</em>,<a id='r127'></a><a href='#f127' class='c012'><sup>[127]</sup></a> that its seeds will +germinate into wholesome and vigorous life. The love of +truth is the most noble quality of human intellect, the most +delightful in the interchange of private confidence, the most +important in the direction of those speculations which have +public happiness for their aim. Yet of all qualities this is the +most rare: it is the Phoenix of the intellectual world. In +private intercourse, how very very few are they whose assertions +carry conviction! How much petty deception, paltry +equivocation, hollow profession, smiling malevolence, and +polished hypocrisy combine to make a desert and a solitude +of what is called society! How much empty pretence and +simulated patriotism, and shameless venality, and unblushing +dereliction of principle, and clamorous recrimination, and +daring imposture, and secret cabal, and mutual undermining +of ‘Honourable Friends,’ render utterly loathsome and disgusting +the theatre of public life! How much timid deference to +vulgar prejudice, how much misrepresentation of the motives +of conscientious opponents, how many appeals to unreflecting +passion, how much assumption of groundless hypothesis, how +many attempts to darken the clearest light and entangle +the simplest clue, render not only nugatory, but pernicious, +the speculations of moral and political reason! Pernicious, +inasmuch as it is better for the benighted traveller to remain +stationary in darkness, than to follow an <i><span lang="la">ignis fatuus</span></i> through +the fen! Falsehood is the great vice of the age: falsehood +<span class='pageno' id='Page_299'>299</span>of heart, falsehood of mind, falsehood of every form and +mode of intellect and intercourse: so that it is hardly +possible <em>to find a man of worth and goodness of whom to make +a friend: but he who does find such an one will have more +enjoyment of friendship than in a better age; for he will be +doubly fond of him, and will love him as Hamlet does Horatio, +and with him retiring and getting, as it were, under the +shelter of a wall, will let the storm of life blow over him</em>.<a id='r128'></a><a href='#f128' class='c012'><sup>[128]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> But that retirement must be consecrated to +philosophical labour, or, however delightful to the individuals, +it will be treason to the public cause. Be the world as bad as +it may, it would necessarily be much worse if the votaries of +truth and the children of virtue were all to withdraw from its +vortex, and leave it to itself. If reason be progressive, however +slowly, the wise and good have sufficient encouragement +to persevere; and even if the doctrine of deterioration be true, +it is no less their duty to contribute all in their power to retard +its progress, by investigating its causes and remedies.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Undoubtedly. But the progress of theoretical +knowledge has a most fearful counterpoise in the +accelerated depravation of practical morality. The frantic +love of money, which seems to govern our contemporaries to a +degree unprecedented in the history of man, paralyses the +energy of independence, darkens the light of reason, and +blights the blossoms of love.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> The <i><span lang="la">amor sceleratus habendi</span></i> is not peculiar +either to our times or to civilised life. <em>Money you must have, +no matter from whence</em>, is a sentence, if we may believe +Euripides, as old as the heroic age: and <em>the monk Rubruquis +says of the Tartars, that, as parents keep all their daughters +till they can sell them, their maids are sometimes very stale +before they are married</em>.<a id='r129'></a><a href='#f129' class='c012'><sup>[129]</sup></a></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> In that respect, then, I must acknowledge +the Tartars and we are much on a par. It is a collateral +question well worth considering, how far the security of +property, which contributes so much to the diffusion of knowledge +and the permanence of happiness, is favourable to the +growth of individual virtue.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Security of property tranquillises the minds of +<span class='pageno' id='Page_300'>300</span>men, and fits them to shine rather in speculation than in +action. In turbulent and insecure states of society, when the +fluctuations of power, or the incursions of predatory neighbours, +hang like the sword of Damocles over the most flourishing +possessions, friends are more dear to each other, mutual +services and sacrifices are more useful and more necessary, the +energies of heart and hand are continually called forth, and +shining examples of the self-oblivious virtues are produced in +the same proportion as mental speculation is unknown or disregarded: +but our admiration of these virtues must be tempered +by the remark, that they arise more from impulsive feeling +than from reflective principle; and that where life and fortune +hold by such a precarious tenure, the first may be risked, and +the second abandoned, with much less effort than would be +required for inferior sacrifices in more secure and tranquil +times.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> Alas, my friend! I would willingly see +such virtues as do honour to human nature, without being very +solicitous as to the comparative quantities of impulse and +reflection in which they originate. If the security of property +and the diffusion of general knowledge were attended with a +corresponding increase of benevolence and <em>individual mental +power</em>, no philanthropist could look with despondency on the +prospects of the world: but I can discover no symptoms of +either the one or the other. Insatiable accumulators, overgrown +capitalists, fatteners on public spoil, I cannot but consider +as excrescences on the body politic, typical of disease +and prophetic of decay: yet it is to these and such as these +that the poet tunes his harp, and the man of science consecrates +his labours: it is for them that an enormous portion of the +population is condemned to unhealthy manufactories, not less +deadly but more lingering than the pestilence: it is for them +that the world rings with lamentations, if the most trivial +accident, the most transient sickness, the most frivolous disappointment +befall them: but when the prisons swarm, when +the workhouses overflow, when whole parishes declare themselves +bankrupt, when thousands perish by famine in the wintry +streets, where then is the poet, where is the man of science, +where is the <em>elegant</em> philosopher? The poet is singing hymns +to the great ones of the world, the man of science is making +discoveries for the adornment of their dwellings or the enhancement +<span class='pageno' id='Page_301'>301</span>of their culinary luxuries, and the <em>elegant</em> philosopher is +much too refined a personage to allow such vulgar subjects as +the sufferings of the poor to interfere with his sublime speculations. +<em>They are married and cannot come!</em></p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Ἐψαυσας ἀλγεινοτατας ἐμοι μεριμνας!<a id='r130'></a><a href='#f130' class='c012'><sup>[130]</sup></a> Those +<em>elegant</em> philosophers are among the most fatal enemies to the +advancement of moral and political knowledge; laborious +triflers, profound investigators of nothing, everlasting talkers +about taste and beauty, who see in the starving beggar only +the picturesqueness of his rags, and in the ruined cottage only +the harmonising tints of moss, mildew, and stonecrop.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> We talk of public feeling and national +sympathy. Our dictionaries may define those words and our +lips may echo them, but we must look for the realities among +less enlightened nations. The Canadian savages cannot +imagine the possibility of any individual in a community having +a full meal while another has but half an one:<a id='r131'></a><a href='#f131' class='c012'><sup>[131]</sup></a> still less could +they imagine that one should have too much, while another +had nothing. Theirs is that bond of brotherhood which nature +weaves and civilisation breaks, and from which the older +nations grow the farther they recede.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> It cannot be otherwise. The state you have +described is adapted only to a small community, and to the +infancy of human society. I shall make a very liberal concession +to your views, if I admit it to be possible that the +middle stage of the progress of man is worse than either the +point from which he started or that at which he will arrive. +But it is my decided opinion that we have passed that middle +stage, and that every evil incident to the present condition of +human society will be removed by the diffusion of moral and +political knowledge, and the general increase of moral and +political liberty. I contemplate with great satisfaction the +rapid decay of many hoary absurdities, which a few transcendental +<span class='pageno' id='Page_302'>302</span>hierophants of the venerable and the mysterious are +labouring in vain to revive. I look with well-grounded confidence +to a period when there will be neither slaves among +the northern, nor monks among the southern Americans. The +sun of freedom has risen over that great continent, with the +certain promise of a glorious day. I form the best hopes for +my own country, in the mental improvement of the people, +whenever she shall breathe from the pressure of that preposterous +system of finance which sooner or later must fall by its +own weight.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Forester.</em> I apply to our system of finance a fiction +of the northern mythology. The ash of Yggdrasil overshadows +the world: Ratatosk, the squirrel, sports in the branches: +Nidhogger, the serpent, gnaws at the root.<a id='r132'></a><a href='#f132' class='c012'><sup>[132]</sup></a> The ash of +Yggdrasil is the tree of national prosperity: Ratatosk the +squirrel is the careless and unreflecting fundholder: Nidhogger +the serpent is <span class='fss'>POLITICAL CORRUPTION</span>, which will in time +consume the root, and spread the branches on the dust. +What will then become of the squirrel?</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Mr. Fax.</em> Ratatosk must look to himself: Nidhogger +must be killed, and the ash of Yggdrasil will rise like a vegetable +Phoenix to flourish again for ages.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Thus conversing, they arrived on the sea-shore, where we +shall leave them to pursue their way, while we investigate the +fate of Anthelia.</p> + +<div id='i_304' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_304'>304</span> +<img src='images/i_304.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>She immediately ran through the shrubbery.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_305'>305</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XLI<br> <span class='c013'>ALGA CASTLE</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Anthelia had not ventured to resume her solitary rambles +after her return from Onevote; more especially as she +anticipated the period when she should revisit her favourite +haunts in the society of one congenial companion whose +presence would heighten the magic of their interest, and restore +to them that feeling of security which her late adventure had +destroyed. But as she was sitting in her library on the morning +of her disappearance, she suddenly heard a faint and +mournful cry, like the voice of a child in distress. She rose, +opened the window, and listened. She heard the sounds more +distinctly. They seemed to ascend from that part of the dingle +immediately beneath the shrubbery that fringed her windows. +It was certainly the cry of a child. She immediately ran +through the shrubbery and descended the rocky steps into the +dingle, where she found a little boy tied to the stem of a tree, +crying and sobbing as if his heart would break. Anthelia +easily set him at liberty, and his grief passed away like an +April shower. She asked who had the barbarity to treat him +in such a manner. He said he could not tell—four strange +men on horseback had taken him up on the common where +his father lived, and brought him there and tied him to the +tree, he could not tell why. Anthelia took his hand and was +leading him from the dingle, intending to send him home by +Peter Gray, when the men who had made the little child their +unconscious decoy broke from their ambush, seized Anthelia, +and taking effectual precautions to stifle her cries, placed her +on one of their horses, and travelled with great rapidity along +narrow and unfrequented ways, till they arrived at a solitary +castle on the sea-shore, where they conveyed her to a splendid +<span class='pageno' id='Page_306'>306</span>suite of apartments, and left her in solitude, locking, as they +retired, the door of the outer room.</p> + +<p class='c007'>She was utterly unable to comprehend the motive of so +extraordinary a proceeding, or to form any conjecture as to its +probable result. An old woman of a very unmeaning physiognomy +shortly after entered, to tender her services; but to +all Anthelia’s questions she only replied with a shake of the +head, and a smile which she meant to be very consolatory.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The old woman retired, and shortly after reappeared with +an elegant dinner, which Anthelia dismissed untouched. +‘There is no harm intended you, my sweet lady,’ said the old +woman; ‘so pray don’t starve yourself.’ Anthelia assured her +she had no such intention, but had no appetite at that time; +but she drank a glass of wine at the old woman’s earnest +entreaty.</p> + +<p class='c007'>In the evening the mystery was elucidated by a visit from +Lord Anophel Achthar; who, falling on his knees before her, +entreated her to allow the violence of his passion to plead his +pardon for a proceeding which nothing but the imminent peril +of seeing her in the arms of a rival could have induced him to +adopt. Anthelia replied that, if his object were to obtain her +affections, he had taken the most effectual method to frustrate +his own views; that if he thought by constraint and cruelty to +obtain her hand without her affections, he might be assured +that he would never succeed. Her heart, however, she +candidly told him, was no longer in her power to dispose of; +and she hoped, after this frank avowal, he would see the folly, +if not the wickedness, of protracting his persecution.</p> + +<p class='c007'>He now, still on his knees, broke out into a rhapsody about +love, and hope, and death, and despair, in which he developed +the whole treasury of his exuberant and overflowing folly. He +then expatiated on his expectations, and pointed out all the +advantages of wealth and consequence attached to the title of +Marchioness of Agaric, and concluded by saying that she +must be aware so important and decisive a measure had not +been taken without the most grave and profound deliberation, +and that he never could suffer her to make her exit from Alga +Castle in any other character than that of Lady Achthar. He +then left her to meditate on his heroic resolution.</p> + +<div id='i_308' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_308.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>He flattered himself that Anthelia would at length come to a determination.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>The next day he repeated his visit—resumed his supplications—reiterated +his determination to persevere—and received +<span class='pageno' id='Page_309'>309</span>from Anthelia the same reply. She endeavoured to reason +with him on the injustice and absurdity of his proceedings; +but he told her the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub and Mr. Feathernest +the poet had taught him that all reasonings pretending to +point out absurdity and injustice were manifestly jacobinical, +which he, as one of the pillars of the state, was bound not to +listen to.</p> + +<p class='c007'>He renewed his visits every day for a week, becoming with +every new visit less humble and more menacing, and consequently +more disagreeable to Anthelia, as the Reverend Mr. +Grovelgrub, by whose instructions he acted, secretly foresaw +and designed. The latter now undertook to plead his Lordship’s +cause, and set in a clear point of view to Anthelia the +inflexibility of his Lordship’s resolutions, which, properly +expounded, could not fail to have due weight against the +alternatives of protracted solitude and hopeless resistance.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The reverend gentleman, however, had other views than +those he held out to Lord Anophel, and presented himself to +Anthelia with an aspect of great commiseration. He said he +was an unwilling witness of his Lordship’s unjust proceedings, +which he had done all in his power to prevent, and which had +been carried into effect against his will. It was his firm +intention to set her at liberty as soon as he could devise the +means of doing so; but all the outlets of Alga Castle were so +guarded that he had not yet been able to devise any feasible +scheme for her escape; but it should be his sole study night +and day to effect it.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Anthelia thanked him for his sympathy, and asked why he +could not give notice to her friends of her situation, which +would accomplish the purpose at once. He replied that Lord +Anophel already mistrusted him, and that if anything of the +kind were done, however secretly he might proceed, the +suspicion would certainly fall upon him, and that he should +then be a ruined man, as all his worldly hopes rested on the +Marquis of Agaric. Anthelia offered to make him the utmost +compensation for the loss of the Marquis of Agaric’s favour; +but he said that was impossible, unless she could make him a +bishop, as the Marquis of Agaric would do. His plan, he said, +must be to effect her liberation, without seeming to be himself +in any way whatever concerned in it; and though he would +willingly lose everything for her sake, yet he trusted she would +<span class='pageno' id='Page_310'>310</span>not think ill of him for wishing to wait a few days, that he +might try to devise the means of serving her without ruining +himself.</p> + +<p class='c007'>He continued his daily visits of sympathy, sometimes +amusing her with a hopeful scheme, at others detailing with a +rueful face the formidable nature of some unexpected obstacle, +hinting continually at his readiness to sacrifice everything for +her sake, lamenting the necessity of delay, and assuring her +that in the meanwhile no evil should happen to her. He +flattered himself that Anthelia, wearied out with the irksomeness +of confinement, and the continual alternations of hope +and disappointment, and contrasting the respectful tenderness +of his manner with the disagreeable system of behaviour to +which he had fashioned Lord Anophel, would at length come +to a determination of removing all his difficulties by offering +him her hand and fortune as a compensation for his anticipated +bishopric. It was not, however, very long before Anthelia +penetrated his design; but as she did not deem it prudent to +come to a rupture with him at that time, she continued to listen +to his daily details of plans and impediments, and allowed him +to take to himself all the merit he seemed to assume for +supplying her with music and books; though he expressed +himself very much shocked at her asking him for Gibbon and +Rousseau, whose works, he said, ought to be burned <em>in foro</em> by +the hands of <em>Carnifex</em>.</p> + +<p class='c007'>The windows of her apartment were at an immense elevation +from the beach, as that part of the castle-wall formed a +continued line with the black and precipitous side of the rock +on which it stood. During the greater portion of the hours of +daylight she sate near the window with her harp, gazing on the +changeful aspects of the wintry sea, now slumbering like a +summer lake in the sunshine of a halcyon day—now raging +beneath the sway of the tempest, while the dancing snow-flakes +seemed to accumulate on the foam of the billows, and the +spray was hurled back like snow-dust from the rocks. The +feelings these scenes suggested she developed in the following +stanzas, to which she adapted a wild and impassioned air, and +they became the favourite song of her captivity.</p> + +<div id='i_311' class='figcenter id002'> +<span class='pageno' id='Page_311'>311</span> +<img src='images/i_311.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Gazing on the changeful aspects of the wintry sea.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in8'><span class='pageno' id='Page_313'>313</span>THE MAGIC BARK</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12'>I</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>O Freedom! power of life and light!</div> + <div class='line'>Sole nurse of truth and glory!</div> + <div class='line'>Bright dweller on the rocky cliff!</div> + <div class='line'>Lone wanderer on the sea!</div> + <div class='line'>Where’er the sunbeam slumbers bright</div> + <div class='line'>On snow-clad mountains hoary;</div> + <div class='line'>Wherever flies the veering skiff,</div> + <div class='line'>O’er waves that breathe of thee!</div> + <div class='line'>Be thou the guide of all my thought—</div> + <div class='line'>The source of all my being—</div> + <div class='line'>The genius of my waking mind—</div> + <div class='line'>The spirit of my dreams!</div> + <div class='line'>To me thy magic spell be taught,</div> + <div class='line'>The captive spirit freeing,</div> + <div class='line'>To wander with the ocean-wind</div> + <div class='line'>Where’er thy beacon beams.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>II</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>O sweet it were, in magic bark,</div> + <div class='line'>On one loved breast reclining,</div> + <div class='line'>To sail around the varied world,</div> + <div class='line'>To every blooming shore;</div> + <div class='line'>And oft the gathering storm to mark</div> + <div class='line'>Its lurid folds combining;</div> + <div class='line'>And safely ride, with sails unfurled,</div> + <div class='line'>Amid the tempest’s roar;</div> + <div class='line'>And see the mighty breakers rave</div> + <div class='line'>On cliff and sand and shingle,</div> + <div class='line'>And hear, with long re-echoing shock,</div> + <div class='line'>The caverned steeps reply;</div> + <div class='line'>And while the storm-cloud and the wave</div> + <div class='line'>In darkness seemed to mingle,</div> + <div class='line'>To skim beside the surf-swept rock,</div> + <div class='line'>And glide uninjured by.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>III</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>And when the summer seas were calm,</div> + <div class='line'>And summer skies were smiling,</div> + <div class='line'>And evening came, with clouds of gold,</div> + <div class='line'>To gild the western wave;</div> + <div class='line'>And gentle airs and dews of balm,</div> + <div class='line'>The pensive mind beguiling,</div> + <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_314'>314</span>Should call the Ocean Swain to fold</div> + <div class='line'>His sea-flocks in the cave,</div> + <div class='line'>Unearthly music’s tenderest spell,</div> + <div class='line'>With gentlest breezes blending</div> + <div class='line'>And waters softly rippling near</div> + <div class='line'>The prow’s light course along,</div> + <div class='line'>Should flow from Triton’s winding shell,</div> + <div class='line'>Through ocean’s depths ascending</div> + <div class='line'>From where it charmed the Nereid’s ear,</div> + <div class='line'>Her coral bowers among.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>IV</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>How sweet, where eastern Nature smiles,</div> + <div class='line'>With swift and mazy motion</div> + <div class='line'>Before the odour-breathing breeze</div> + <div class='line'>Of dewy morn to glide;</div> + <div class='line'>Or ‘mid the thousand emerald isles</div> + <div class='line'>That gem the southern ocean,</div> + <div class='line'>Where fruits and flowers, from loveliest trees,</div> + <div class='line'>O’erhang the slumbering tide:</div> + <div class='line'>Or up some western stream to sail,</div> + <div class='line'>To where its myriad fountains</div> + <div class='line'>Roll down their everlasting rills</div> + <div class='line'>From many a cloud-capped height,</div> + <div class='line'>Till mingling in some nameless vale,</div> + <div class='line'>‘Mid forest-cinctured mountains,</div> + <div class='line'>The river-cataract shakes the hills</div> + <div class='line'>With vast and volumed might.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'>V</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>The poison-trees their leaves should shed,</div> + <div class='line'>The yellow snake should perish,</div> + <div class='line'>The beasts of blood should crouch and cower,</div> + <div class='line'>Where’er that vessel past:</div> + <div class='line'>All plagues of fens and vapours bred,</div> + <div class='line'>That tropic fervours cherish,</div> + <div class='line'>Should fly before its healing power,</div> + <div class='line'>Like mists before the blast.</div> + <div class='line'>Where’er its keel the strand imprest</div> + <div class='line'>The young fruit’s ripening cluster,</div> + <div class='line'>The bird’s free song, its touch should greet</div> + <div class='line'>The opening flower’s perfume;</div> + <div class='line'>The streams along the green earth’s breast</div> + <div class='line'>Should roll in purer lustre,</div> + <div class='line'>And love should heighten every sweet,</div> + <div class='line'>And brighten every bloom.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in12 c003'><span class='pageno' id='Page_315'>315</span>VI</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>And, Freedom! thy meridian blaze</div> + <div class='line'>Should chase the clouds that lower,</div> + <div class='line'>Wherever mental twilight dim</div> + <div class='line'>Obscures Truth’s vestal flame,</div> + <div class='line'>Wherever Fraud and Slavery raise</div> + <div class='line'>The throne of bloodstained Power,</div> + <div class='line'>Wherever Fear and Ignorance hymn</div> + <div class='line'>Some fabled daemon’s name!</div> + <div class='line'>The bard, where torrents thunder down</div> + <div class='line'>Beside thy burning altar,</div> + <div class='line'>Should kindle, as in days of old,</div> + <div class='line'>The mind’s ethereal fire;</div> + <div class='line'>Ere yet beneath a tyrant’s frown</div> + <div class='line'>The Muse’s voice could falter,</div> + <div class='line'>Or Flattery strung with chords of gold</div> + <div class='line'>The minstrel’s venal lyre.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter'> + <span class='pageno' id='Page_316'>316</span> + <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XLII<br> <span class='c013'>CONCLUSION</span></h2> +</div> + +<p class='c006'>Lord Anophel one morning paid Anthelia his usual visit. +‘You must be aware, Miss Melincourt,’ said he, ‘that if your +friends could have found you out, they would have done it +before this; but they have searched the whole country far and +near, and have now gone home in despair.’</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> That, my Lord, I cannot believe; for there is +one, at least, who I am confident will never be weary of seeking +me, and who, I am equally confident, will not always seek +in vain.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> If you mean the young lunatic of +Redrose Abbey, or his friend the dumb Baronet, they are both +gone to London to attend the opening of the Honourable +House; and if you doubt my word, I will show you their +names in the <cite>Morning Post</cite>, among the Fashionable Arrivals +at Wildman’s Hotel.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> Your Lordship’s word is quite as good as the +authority you have quoted.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> Well, then, Miss Melincourt, I +presume you perceive that you are completely in my power, +and that I have gone too far to recede. If, indeed, I had +supposed myself an object of such very great repugnance to +you, which I must say (<em>looking at himself in a glass</em>) is quite +unaccountable, I might not, perhaps, have laid this little +scheme, which I thought would be only settling the affair in a +compendious way; for that any woman in England would +consider it a very great hardship to be Lady Achthar, and +hereafter Marchioness of Agaric, and would feel any very +mortal resentment for means that tended to make her so, was +an idea, egad, that never entered my head. However, as +<span class='pageno' id='Page_319'>319</span>I have already observed, you are completely in my power: +both our characters are compromised, and there is only one +way to mend the matter, which is to call in Grovelgrub, and +make him strike up ‘Dearly beloved.’</p> + +<div id='i_318' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_318.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>Preparing to administer natural justice by throwing him out at the window.</em></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> As to your character, Lord Anophel, that must +be your concern. Mine is in my own keeping; for, having +practised all my life a system of uniform sincerity, which gives +me a right to be believed by all who know me, and more +especially by all who love me, I am perfectly indifferent to +private malice or public misrepresentation.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> There is such a thing, Miss +Melincourt, as tiring out a man’s patience; and, ‘pon honour, +if gentle means don’t succeed with you, I must have recourse +to rough ones, ‘pon honour.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> My Lord!</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Lord Anophel Achthar.</em> I am serious, curse me. You will +be glad enough to hush all up, then, and we’ll go to court +together in due form.</p> + +<p class='c007'><em>Anthelia.</em> What you mean by hushing up, Lord Anophel, +I know not: but of this be assured, that under no circumstances +will I ever be your wife; and that whatever +happens to me in any time or place, shall be known to all who +are interested in my welfare. I know too well the difference +between the true quality of a pure and simple mind and the +false affected modesty which goes by that name in the world, +to be intimidated by threats which can only be dictated by a +supposition that your wickedness would be my disgrace, and +that false shame would induce me to conceal what both truth +and justice would command me to make known.</p> + +<div id='i_320' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_320.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p><em>We shall leave them to run</em> ad libitum.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>Lord Anophel stood aghast for a few minutes, at the +declaration of such unfashionable sentiments. At length +saying, ‘Ay, preaching is one thing, and practice another, as +Grovelgrub can testify,’ he seized her hand with violence, and +threw his arm round her waist. Anthelia screamed, and at +that very moment a violent noise of ascending steps was heard +on the stairs; the door was burst open, and Sir Oran Haut-ton +appeared in the aperture, with the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub +in custody, whom he dragged into the apartment, followed by +Mr. Forester and Mr. Fax. Mr. Forester flew to Anthelia, +who threw herself into his arms, hid her face in his bosom, and +burst into tears: which when Sir Oran saw, his wrath grew +<span class='pageno' id='Page_320'>320</span>boundless, and quitting his hold of the Rev. Mr. Grovelgrub +(who immediately ran downstairs, and out of the castle, as fast +as a pair of short thick legs could carry him), seized on Lord +Anophel Achthar, and was preparing to administer natural +justice by throwing him out at the window; but Mr. Fax +interposed, and calling Mr. Forester’s attention, which was +totally engaged with Anthelia, they succeeded in rescuing the +terrified sprig of nobility; who immediately, leaving the enemy +in free possession, flew downstairs after his reverend tutor; +whom, on issuing from the castle, he discovered at an immense +distance on the sands, still running with all his might. Lord +Anophel gave him chase, and after a long time came within +hail of him, and shouted to him to stop. But this only served +to quicken the reverend gentleman’s speed; who, hearing the +voice of pursuit, and too much terrified to look back, concluded +that the dumb Baronet had found his voice, and was then in +the very act of gaining on his flight. Therefore, the more +Lord Anophel shouted ‘Stop!’ the more nimbly the reverend +gentleman sped along the sands, running and roaring all the +way, like Falstaff on Gadshill; his Lordship still exerting all +his powers of speed in the rear, and gaining on his flying +<span class='pageno' id='Page_323'>323</span>Mentor by very imperceptible gradations: where we shall leave +them to run <em>ad libitum</em>, while we account for the sudden +appearance of Mr. Forester and his friends.</p> + +<div id='i_322' class='figcenter id002'> +<img src='images/i_322.jpg' alt='' class='ig001'> +<div class='ic002'> +<p>‘<em>He would confess all.</em>’</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>We left them walking along the shore of the sea, which they +followed till they arrived in the vicinity of Alga Castle, from +which the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub emerged in evil hour, to +take a meditative walk on the sands. The keen sight of the +natural man descried him from far. Sir Oran darted on his +prey; and though it is supposed that he could not have overtaken +the swift-footed Achilles,<a id='r133'></a><a href='#f133' class='c012'><sup>[133]</sup></a> he had very little difficulty in +overtaking the Reverend Mr. Grovelgrub, who had begun to run +for his life as soon as he was aware of the foe. Sir Oran +shook his stick over his head, and the reverend gentleman +dropping on his knees, put his hands together, and entreated +for mercy, saying ‘he would confess all.’ Mr. Forester and +Mr. Fax came up in time to hear the proposal: the former +restrained the rage of Sir Oran, who, however, still held his +prisoner fast by the arm; and the reluctant divine, with many +a heavy groan, conducted his unwelcome company to the door +of Anthelia’s apartments.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘O Forester!’ said Anthelia, ‘you have realised all my +wishes. I have found you the friend of the poor, the enthusiast +of truth, the disinterested cultivator of the rural virtues, the +active promoter of the cause of human liberty. It only +remained that you should emancipate a captive damsel, who, +however, will but change the mode of her durance, and become +your captive for life.’</p> + +<p class='c016'>It was not long after this event, before the Reverend Mr. +Portpipe and the old chapel of Melincourt Castle were put +in requisition, to make a mystical unit of Anthelia and Mr. +Forester. The day was celebrated with great festivity throughout +their respective estates, and the Reverend Mr. Portpipe +<span class='pageno' id='Page_324'>324</span>was <i><span lang="la">voti compos</span></i>, that is to say, he had taken a resolution on +the day of Anthelia’s christening, that he would on the day of +her marriage drink one bottle more than he had ever taken at +one sitting on any other occasion; which resolution he had +now the satisfaction of carrying into effect.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Sir Oran Haut-ton continued to reside with Mr. Forester +and Anthelia. They discovered in the progress of time that +he had formed for the latter the same kind of reverential +attachment as the Satyr in Fletcher forms for the Holy Shepherdess:<a id='r134'></a><a href='#f134' class='c012'><sup>[134]</sup></a> +and Anthelia might have said to him in the words +of Corin:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>They wrong thee that do call thee rude:</div> + <div class='line'>Though thou be’st outward rough and tawny-hued,</div> + <div class='line'>Thy manners are as gentle and as fair</div> + <div class='line'>As his who boasts himself born only heir</div> + <div class='line'>To all humanity.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>His greatest happiness was in listening to the music of her +harp and voice: in the absence of which he solaced himself, +as usual, with his flute and French horn. He became likewise +a proficient in drawing; but what progress he made in the art +of speech we have not been able to ascertain.</p> + +<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_325'>325</span>Mr. Fax was a frequent visitor at Melincourt, and there +was always a cover at the table for the Reverend Mr. Portpipe.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Hippy felt half inclined to make proposals to Miss +Evergreen; but understanding from Mr. Forester that, from +the death of her lover in early youth, that lady had irrevocably +determined on a single life,<a id='r135'></a><a href='#f135' class='c012'><sup>[135]</sup></a> he comforted himself with passing +half his time at Melincourt Castle, and dancing the little +Foresters on his knee, whom he taught to call him ‘grandpapa +Hippy,’ and seemed extremely proud of the imaginary relationship.</p> + +<p class='c007'>Mr. Forester disposed of Redrose Abbey to Sir Telegraph +Paxarett, who, after wearing the willow twelve months, married, +left off driving, and became a very respectable specimen of an +English country gentleman.</p> + +<p class='c007'>We must not conclude without informing those among our +<span class='pageno' id='Page_326'>326</span>tender-hearted readers who would be much grieved if Miss +Danaretta Contantina Pinmoney should have been disappointed +in her principal object of making a <em>good match</em>, that she had +at length the satisfaction, through the skilful management of +her mother, of making the happiest of men of Lord Anophel +Achthar.</p> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div>THE END</div> + <div class='c003'><em>Printed by</em> <span class='sc'>R. & R. Clark, Limited</span>, <em>Edinburgh</em>.</div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr class='c018'> +<div class='footnote' id='f1'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r1'>1</a>. The following is the motto of the title-page of the first edition:—‘<span lang="fr">Nous +nous moquons des Paladins! quand ces maximes romanesques +commencèrent à devenir ridicules, ce changement fut moins l’ouvrage de +la raison que celui des mauvaises mœurs.</span>’—<span class='sc'>Rousseau.</span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f2'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r2'>2</a>. Written in 1817.—Published in 1818.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f3'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r3'>3</a>. Hor. Epist. I. ii. 27–30.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f4'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r4'>4</a>. Junius.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f5'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r5'>5</a>. For Lucy Gray and Alice Fell, see Mr. Wordsworth’s Lyrical Ballads.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f6'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r6'>6</a>. Coleridge’s ‘Friend.’</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f7'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r7'>7</a>. ‘There is not any burden that some would gladlier post off to another +than the charge and care of their religion. There be of Protestants and +professors who live and die in as arrant and implicit faith as any lay Papist +of Loretto. A wealthy man, addicted to his pleasure and to his profits, +finds religion to be a traffic so entangled and of so many peddling accounts, +that, of all mysteries, he cannot skill to keep a stock going upon that trade. +What should he do? Fain would he have the name to be religious: fain +would he bear up with his neighbours in that. What does he, therefore, +but resolves to give over toiling, and to find himself out some factor, to +whose care and credit he may commit the whole management of his +religious affairs; some divine of note and estimation that must be. To +him he adheres, resigns the whole warehouse of his religion, with all the +locks and keys, into his custody, and, indeed, makes the very person of +that man his religion, esteems his associating with him a sufficient evidence +and commendatory of his own piety. So that a man may say, his religion +is now no more within himself, but is become a dividual movable, and goes +and comes near him according as that good man frequents the house. He +entertains him, gives him gifts, feasts him, lodges him: his religion comes +home at night, prays, is liberally supped, and sumptuously laid to sleep, +rises, is saluted, and after the malmsey, or some well-spiced brewage, and +better breakfasted than he whose morning appetite would have gladly fed +on green figs between Bethany and Jerusalem, his religion walks abroad at +eight, and leaves his kind entertainer in the shop, trading all day without +his religion.’—<span class='sc'>Milton’s</span> <cite>Speech for the Liberty of Unlicensed Printing</cite>.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f8'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r8'>8</a>. ‘I think I have established his humanity by proof that ought to +satisfy every one who gives credit to human testimony.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, +vol. iii. p. 40.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I have brought myself to a perfect conviction that the oran outang is +a human creature as much as any of us.’—<em>Ibid.</em></p> + +<p class='c007'>‘Nihil humani ei deesse diceres praeter loquelam.’—<span class='sc'>Bontius.</span></p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The fact truly is, that the man is easily distinguishable in him; nor +are there any differences betwixt him and us, but what may be accounted +for in so satisfactory a manner that it would be extraordinary and unnatural +if they were not to be found. His body, which is of the same shape as +ours, is bigger and stronger than ours, ... according to that general law +of nature above observed (<em>that all animals thrive best in their natural +state</em>). His mind is such as that of a man must be, uncultivated by arts +and sciences, and living wild in the woods.... One thing, at least, is +certain: that if ever men were in that state which I call natural, it must +have been in such a country and climate as Africa, where they could live +without art upon the natural fruits of the earth. “Such countries,” Linnaeus +says, “are the native country of man; there he lives naturally; in other +countries, <i><span lang="la">non nisi coacte</span></i>, that is, by force of art.” If this be so, then the +short history of man is, that the race, having begun in those fine climates, +and having, as is natural, multiplied there so much that the spontaneous +productions of the earth could not support them, they migrated into other +countries, where they were obliged to invent arts for their subsistence; and +with such arts, language, in process of time, would necessarily come.... +That my facts and arguments are so convincing as to leave no doubt of the +humanity of the oran outang, I will not take upon me to say; but thus +much I will venture to affirm, that I have said enough to make the +philosopher consider it as problematical, and a subject deserving to be +inquired into. <em>For, as to the vulgar, I can never expect that they should +acknowledge any relation to those inhabitants of the woods of Angola</em>; but +that they should continue, through a false pride, to think highly derogatory +from human nature what the philosopher, on the contrary, will think the +greatest praise of man, that from the savage state in which the oran outang +is, he should, by his own sagacity and industry, have arrived at the state +in which we now see him.’—<cite>Origin and Progress of Language</cite>, book ii. +chap. 5.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f9'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r9'>9</a>. <span lang="fr">‘L’Oran Outang, ou l’homme des bois, est un être particulier à la +zone torride de notre hémisphère: le Pline de la nation qui l’a rangé dans +la classe de singes ne me paroît pas conséquent; car il résulte des principaux +traits de sa description que c’est un homme dégénère.’—<cite>Philosophie +de la Nature.</cite></span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f10'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r10'>10</a>. ‘The dispositions and affections of his mind are mild, gentle, and +humane.’—<cite>Origin and Progress of Language</cite>, book ii. chap. 4.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The oran outang whom Buffon himself saw was of a sweet temper.’—<em>Ibid.</em></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f11'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r11'>11</a>. ‘But though I hold the oran outang to be of our species, it must not +be supposed that I think the monkey or ape, with or without a tail, participates +of our nature: on the contrary, I maintain that, however much +his form may resemble man’s, yet he is, as Linnaeus says, of the Troglodyte, +<i><span lang="la">nec nostri generis nec sanguinis</span></i>. For as the mind, or internal principle, is +the chief part of every animal, it is by it principally that the ancients have +distinguished the several species. Now it is laid down by Mr. Buffon, and +I believe it to be a fact that cannot be contested, that neither monkey, ape, +nor baboon, have anything mild or gentle, tractable or docile, benevolent +or humane in their dispositions; but, on the contrary, are malicious and +untractable, to be governed only by force and fear, and without any <em>gravity +or composure in their gait or behaviour, such as the oran outang has</em>.’—<cite>Origin +and Progress of Language</cite>, book ii. chap. 4.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f12'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r12'>12</a>. ‘He is capable of the greatest affection, not only to his brother oran +outangs, but to such among us as use him kindly. And it is a fact well +attested to me by a gentleman who was an eye-witness of it, that an oran +outang on board his ship conceived such an affection for the cook, that +when upon some occasion he left the ship to go ashore, the gentleman +saw the oran outang shed tears in great abundance.’—<em>Ibid.</em> book ii. +chap. 4.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f13'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r13'>13</a>. ‘One of them was taken, and brought with some negro slaves to the +capital of the kingdom of Malemba. He was a young one, but six feet and +a half tall. Before he came to this city he had been kept some months in +company with the negro slaves, and during that time was tame and gentle, +and took his victuals very quietly; but when he was brought into the town, +such crowds of people came about him to gaze at him, that he could not +bear it, but grew sullen, abstained from food, and died in four or five days.’—<em>Ibid.</em> +book ii. chap. 4.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f14'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r14'>14</a>. ‘He has the capacity of being a musician, and has actually learned +to play upon the pipe and harp: a fact attested, not by a common traveller, +but by a man of science, Mr. Peiresc, and who relates it, not as a hearsay, +but as a fact consisting with his own knowledge. And this is the more +to be attended to, as it shows that the oran outang has a perception of +numbers, measure, and melody, which has always been accounted peculiar +to our species. But the learning to speak, as well as the learning music, +must depend upon particular circumstances; and men living as the oran +outangs do, upon the natural fruits of the earth, with few or no arts, are +not in a situation that is proper for the invention of language. The oran +outangs who played upon the pipe had certainly not invented this art in +the woods, but they had learned it from the negroes or the Europeans; +and that they had not at the same time learned to speak, may be accounted +for in one or other of two ways: either the same pains had not been taken +to teach them articulation; or, secondly, music is more natural to man, +and more easily acquired than speech.’—<cite>Origin and Progress of Language</cite>, +book ii. chap. 5.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f15'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r15'>15</a>. <span lang="fr">‘Ces animaux,’ dit M. de la Brosse, ‘ont l’instinct de s’asseoir à +table comme les hommes; ils mangent de tout sans distinction; ils se +servent du couteau, de la cuillère, et de la fourchette, pour prendre et +couper ce qu’on sert sur l’assiette: <em>ils boivent du vin et d’autres liqueurs</em>: +nous les portâmes à bord; quand ils étoient à table ils se faisoient entendre +des mousses lorsqu’ils avoient besoin de quelque chose.’—<span class='sc'>Buffon.</span></span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f16'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r16'>16</a>. ‘If I can believe the newspapers, there was an oran outang of the +great kind, that was some time ago shipped aboard a French East India +ship. I hope he has had a safe voyage to Europe, and that his education +will be taken care of.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. p. 40.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f17'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r17'>17</a>. <cite>Origin and Progress of Language</cite>, book ii. chap. 4.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f18'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r18'>18</a>. <span lang="la">‘Homo nocturnus, Troglodytes, silvestris, orang outang Bontii. +Corpus album, incessu erectum.... Loquitur sibilo, cogitat, ratiocinatur, +credit sui causa factam tellurem, se aliquando iterum fore imperantem.’—<span class='sc'>Linnaeus.</span></span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f19'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r19'>19</a>. <span lang="fr">‘Il n’a point de queue: ses bras, ses mains, ses doigts, ses ongles, +sont pareils aux nôtres: il marche toujours debout: il a des traits +approchans de ceux de l’homme, des oreilles de la même forme, des +cheveux sur la tête, de la barbe au menton, et du poil ni plus ni moins que +l’homme en a dans l’état de nature. Aussi les habitans de son pays, les +Indiens policés, n’ont pas hésité de l’associer à l’espèce humaine, par le +nom d’oran outang, <em>homme sauvage</em>. Si l’on ne faisoit attention qu’à la +figure, on pourroit regarder l’oran outang comme le premier des singes ou +le dernier des hommes, parce qu’à l’exception de l’âme, il ne lui manque +rien de tout ce que nous avons, et parce qu’il diffère moins de l’homme +pour le corps qu’il ne diffère des autres animaux auxquels on a donné le +même nom de singe.—S’il y avoit un degré par lequel on pût descendre de +la nature humaine à celle des animaux, si l’essence de cette nature consistoit +en entier dans la forme du corps et dépendoit de son organisation, l’oran +outang se trouveroit plus près de l’homme que d’aucun animal: assis au +second rang des êtres, s’il ne pouvoit commander en premier, il feroit au +moins sentir aux autres sa supériorité, et s’efforceroit à ne pas obéir: si +l’imitation qui semble copier de si près la pensée en étoit le vrai signe ou +l’un des résultats, il se trouveroit encore à une plus grande distance des +animaux et plus voisin de l’homme.’—<span class='sc'>Buffon.</span></span></p> + +<p class='c007'><span lang="fr">‘On est tout étonné, d’après tous ces aveux, que M. de Buffon ne fasse +de l’oran outang qu’une espèce de magot, essentiellement circonscrit dans +les bornes de l’animalité: il falloit, ou infirmer les rélations des voyageurs, +ou s’en tenir à leurs résultats.—Quand on lit dans ce naturaliste l’histoire +du Nègre blanc, on voit que ce bipède diffère de nous bien plus que l’oran +outang, soit par l’organisation, soit par l’intelligence, et cependant on ne +balance pas à le mettre dans la classe des hommes.’—<cite>Philosophie de la +Nature.</cite></span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f20'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r20'>20</a>. <span lang="fr">‘Les jugemens précipités, et qui ne sont point le fruit d’une raison +éclairée, sont sujets à donner dans l’excès. Nos voyageurs font sans façon +des bêtes, sous les noms de pongos, de mandrills, d’oran outangs, de ces +mêmes êtres, dont, sous le nom de satyres, de faunes, de sylvains, les +anciens faisoient des divinités. Peut-être, après des recherches plus +exactes, trouvera-t-on que ce sont des hommes.’—<span class='sc'>Rousseau</span>, <cite>Discours +sur l’Inégalité</cite>, note 8.</span></p> + +<p class='c007'><span lang="fr">‘Il est presque démontré que les faunes, les satyres, les sylvains, les +ægipans, et toute cette foule de demi-dieux, difformes et libertins, à qui les +filles des Phocion et des Paul Émile s’avisèrent de rendre hommage, ne +furent dans l’origine que des oran outangs. Dans la suite, les poëtes +chargèrent le portrait de l’homme des bois, en lui donnant des pieds de +chèvre, une queue et des cornes; mais le type primordial resta, et le +philosophe l’apperçoit dans les monumens les plus défigurés par l’imagination +d’Ovide et le ciseau de Phidias. Les anciens, très embarrassés de +trouver la filiation de leurs sylvains, et de leurs satyres, se tirèrent d’affaire +en leur donnant des dieux pour pères: les dieux étoient d’un grand secours +aux philosophes des temps reculés, pour résoudre les problèmes d’histoire +naturelle; ils leur servoient comme les cycles et les épicycles dans le système +planétaire de Ptolomée: avec des cycles et des dieux on répond à tout, +quoiqu’on ne satisfasse personne.’—<cite>Philosophie de la Nature.</cite></span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f21'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r21'>21</a>. Orphica, Hymn. XI. (X <cite>Gesn.</cite>)</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f22'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r22'>22</a>. The words in italics are from the <cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. pp. 41, +42. Lord Monboddo adds: ‘I hold it to be impossible to convince any +philosopher, or any man of common sense, who has bestowed any time +to consider the mechanism of speech, that such various actions and configurations +of the organs of speech as are necessary for articulation can be +natural to man. Whoever thinks this possible, should go and see, as I +have done, Mr. Braidwood of Edinburgh, or the Abbé de l’Epée in Paris, +teach the dumb to speak; and when he has observed all the different +actions of the organs, which those professors are obliged to mark distinctly +to their pupils with a great deal of pains and labour, so far from thinking +articulation natural to man, he will rather wonder how, by any teaching +or imitation, he should attain to the ready performance of such various and +complicated operations.’</p> + +<p class='c007'><span lang="fr">‘Quoique l’organe de la parole soit naturel à l’homme, la parole elle-même +ne lui est pourtant pas naturelle.’—<span class='sc'>Rousseau</span>, <cite>Discours sur +l’Inégalité</cite>, note 8.</span></p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The oran outang, so accurately dissected by Tyson, had exactly the +same organs of voice that a man has.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. p. 44.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I have been told that the oran outang who is to be seen in Sir Ashton +Lever’s collection, had learned before he died to articulate some words.’—<em>Ibid.</em> +p. 40.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f23'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r23'>23</a>. ‘I desire any philosopher to tell me the specific difference between +an oran outang sitting at table, and behaving as M. de la Brosse or M. Buffon +himself has described him, and one of our dumb persons; and in general I +believe it will be very difficult, or rather impossible, for a man who is +accustomed to divide things according to specific marks, not individual +differences, to draw the line betwixt the oran outang and the dumb persons +among us: they have both their organs of pronunciation, and both show +signs of intelligence by their actions.’—<cite>Origin and Progress of Language</cite>, +book ii. chap. 4.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f24'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r24'>24</a>. <cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iv. p. 55.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f25'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r25'>25</a>. <span lang="fr">‘Toute la terre est couverte de nations, dont nous ne connoissons que +les noms, et nous nous mêlons de juger le genre humain! Supposons un +Montesquieu, un Buffon, un Diderot, un Duclos, un d’Alembert, un +Condillac, ou des hommes de cette trempe, voyageant pour instruire leurs +compatriotes, observant et décrivant comme ils sçavent faire, la Turquie, +l’Égypte, la Barbarie, l’Empire de Maroc, la Guinée, le pays des Caffres, +l’intérieur de l’Afrique et ses côtes orientales, les Malabares, le Mogol, les +rives du Gange, les royaumes de Siam, de Pégu et d’Ava, la Chine, la +Tartarie, et sur-tout le Japon; puis dans l’autre hémisphère le Méxique, le +Pérou, le Chili, les Terres Magellaniques, sans oublier les Patagons vrais +ou faux, le Tucuman, le Paraguai, s’il étoit possible, le Brésil, enfin les +Caraïbes, la Floride, et toutes les contrées sauvages, voyage le plus +important de tous, et celui qu’il faudroit faire avec le plus de soin; +supposons que ces nouveaux Hercules, de retour de ces courses mémorables, +fissent à loisir l’histoire naturelle, morale, et politique de ce qu’ils auroient +vus, nous verrions nous-mêmes sortir un monde nouveau de dessous leur +plume, et nous apprendrions ainsi à connoître le nôtre: je dis que quand +de pareils observateurs affirmeront d’un tel animal que c’est un homme, et +d’un autre que c’est une bête, il faudra les en croire: mais ce seroit une +grande simplicité de s’en rapporter là-dessus à des voyageurs grossiers, sur +lesquels on seroit quelquefois tenté de faire la même question qu’ils se +mêlent de résoudre sur d’autres animaux.’—<span class='sc'>Rousseau</span>, <cite>Discours sur +l’Inégalité</cite>, note 8.</span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f26'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r26'>26</a>. ΑΝΩΦΕΛον ΑΧΘος ΑΡουρας. <i><span lang="la">Terrae pondus inutile.</span></i></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f27'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r27'>27</a>. <em>Agaricus</em>, in Botany, a genus of plants of the class Cryptogamia, +comprehending the mushroom, and a copious variety of toadstools.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f28'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r28'>28</a>. ἐγγυς γαρ νυκτος τε και ἡματος εἰσι κελευθοι.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f29'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r29'>29</a>. <span lang="fr">‘Ils sont si robustes, dit le traducteur de l’Histoire des Voyages, que +dix hommes ne suffiroient pas pour les arrêter.’—<span class='sc'>Rousseau.</span></span></p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The oran outang is prodigiously strong.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. +iv. p. 51; vol. v. p. 4.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘I have heard the natives say, he can throw down a palm-tree, by his +amazing strength, to come at the wine.’—<cite>Letter of a Bristol Merchant in +a note to the Origin and Progress of Language</cite>, book ii. chap. 4.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f30'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r30'>30</a>. See Louvet’s <cite><span lang="fr">Récit de mes Périls</span></cite>.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f31'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r31'>31</a>. Rousseau, <cite>Émile</cite>, liv. 5.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f32'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r32'>32</a>. <span lang="fr">‘L’issue aucthorise souvent une tres-inepte conduitte. Nostre +entremise n’est quasy qu’une routine, et plus communement consideration +d’usage et d’exemple que de raison.... L’heur et le malheur sont à +mon gré deux souveraines puissances. C’est imprudence d’estimer que +l’humaine prudence puisse remplir le roolle de la fortune. Et vaine est +l’entreprinse de celuy qui presume d’embrasser et causes et consequences, +et meiner par la main le progrez de son faict.... Qu’on reguarde qui +sont les plus puissans aux villes, et qui font mieulx leurs besongnes, on +trouvera ordinairement que ce sont les moins habiles.... Nous +attribuons les effects de leur bonne fortune à leur prudence.... +Parquoy je dy bien, en toutes façons, que les evenements sont maigres +tesmoings de nostre prix et capacité.’—<span class='sc'>Montaigne</span>, liv. iii. chap. 8.</span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f33'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r33'>33</a>. Ecclesiastes, chap. iv.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f34'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r34'>34</a>. <cite>Origin and Progress of Language</cite>, book ii. chap. 4.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f35'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r35'>35</a>. ‘I have endeavoured to support the ancient definition of man, and +to show that it belongs to the oran outang, though he have not the use of +speech. And indeed it appears surprising to me that any man, pretending +to be a philosopher, should not be satisfied with the expression of intelligence +in the most useful way for the purposes of life; I mean by actions; +but should require likewise the expression of them, by those signs of +arbitrary institution we call <em>words</em>, before they will allow an animal to +deserve the name of <em>man</em>. Suppose that, upon inquiry, it should be found +that the oran outangs have not only invented the art of building huts, and +of attacking and defending with sticks, <em>but also have contrived a way of +communicating to the absent, and recording their ideas by the method of +painting or drawing</em>, as is practised by many barbarous nations (and the +supposition is not at all impossible, or even improbable); and suppose +they should have contrived some form of government, and should elect +kings or rulers, which is possible, and, according to the information of the +Bristol merchant above mentioned, is reported to be actually the case, what +would Mr. Buffon then say? Must they still be accounted brutes, because +they have not yet fallen upon the method of communication by articulate +sounds?’—<cite>Origin and Progress of Language</cite>, book ii. chap. 4.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f36'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r36'>36</a>. Wordsworth’s ‘Tintern Abbey.’</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f37'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r37'>37</a>. The <cite>Iliad</cite>.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f38'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r38'>38</a>. The <cite>Odyssey</cite>.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f39'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r39'>39</a>. The <cite>Prometheus</cite> of Aeschylus.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f40'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r40'>40</a>. The <cite>Philoctetes</cite> of Sophocles.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f41'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r41'>41</a>. The <cite>Hippolytus</cite> of Euripides.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f42'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r42'>42</a>. <span lang="fr">‘Je l’ai vu présenter sa main pour reconduire les gens qui venoient le +visiter; se promener gravement avec eux et comme de compagnie, etc.’—<span class='sc'>Buffon.</span> +<cite>H. N. de l’Oran Outang.</cite></span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f43'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r43'>43</a>. Fletcher’s ‘Sea Voyage.’</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f44'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r44'>44</a>. <span lang="la">Anima certe, quia spiritus est, in sicco habitare non potest.</span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f45'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r45'>45</a>. <cite>Edinburgh Review</cite>, No. liii. p. 10.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f46'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r46'>46</a>. See the preface to the third volume of the <cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>. See +also Rousseau’s <cite>Discourse on Inequality</cite> and that on the <cite>Arts and Sciences</cite>.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f47'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r47'>47</a>. </p> +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><span lang="la">nam si Pieria quadrans tibi nullus in umbra</span></div> + <div class='line'><span lang="la">ostendatur, ames nomen victumque Machaerae,</span></div> + <div class='line'><span lang="la">et vendas potius commissa quod auctio vendit, etc.—<span class='sc'>Juv.</span></span></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f48'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r48'>48</a>. ‘They use an artificial weapon for attack and defence, viz. a stick, +which no animal merely brute is known to do.’—<cite>Origin and Progress of +Language</cite>, book ii. chap. 4.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f49'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r49'>49</a>. ‘There is a story of one of them, which seems to show they have a +sense of justice as well as honour. For a negro having shot a female of +this kind, that was feeding among his Indian corn, the male, whom our +author calls the husband of this female, pursued the negro into his house, +of which having forced open the door, he seized the negro and dragged +him out of the house to the place where his wife lay dead or wounded, +and the people of the neighbourhood could not rescue the negro, nor force +the oran to quit his hold of him, till they shot him likewise.’—<cite>Origin and +Progress of Language</cite>, book ii. chap. 4.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f50'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r50'>50</a>. See Chap. IV.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f51'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r51'>51</a>. ‘Homer has said nothing, positively, of the size of any of his heroes, +but only comparatively, as I shall presently observe: nor is this to be +wondered at; for I know no historian, ancient or modern, that says +anything of the size of the men of his own nation, except comparatively +with that of other nations. But in that fine episode of his, called by the +ancient critics the Τειχοσκοπια or <cite>Prospect from the Walls</cite>, he has given us +a very accurate description of the persons of several of the Greek heroes; +which I am persuaded he had from very good information. In this +description he tells us that Ulysses was shorter than Agamemnon by the +head, shorter than Menelaus by the head and shoulders, and that Ajax +was taller than any of the Greeks by the head and shoulders; consequently, +Ulysses was shorter than Ajax by two heads and shoulders, which we +cannot reckon less than four feet. Now, if we suppose heroes to have +been no bigger than we, then Ajax must have been a man about six feet +and a half, or at most seven feet; and if so Ulysses must have been most +contemptibly short, not more than three feet, which is certainly not the +truth, but a most absurd and ridiculous fiction, such as we cannot suppose +in Homer: whereas, if we allow Ajax to have been twelve or thirteen feet +high, and, much more, if we suppose him to have been eleven cubits, as +Philostratus makes him, Ulysses, though four feet short of him, would +have been of a good size, and, with the extraordinary breadth which +Homer observes he had, may have been as strong a man as Ajax.’—<cite>Ancient +Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. p. 146.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f52'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r52'>52</a>. ‘It was only in after-ages, when the size of men was greatly decreased, +that the bodies of those heroes, if they happened to be discovered, were, as +was natural, admired and exactly measured. Such a thing happened in +Laconia, where the body of Orestes was discovered, and found to be of +length seven cubits, that is, ten feet and a half. The story is most +pleasantly told by Herodotus, and is to this effect: The Lacedemonians +were engaged in a war with the Tegeatae, a people of Arcadia, in which +they were unsuccessful. They consulted the oracle at Delphi, what they +should do in order to be more successful. The oracle answered ‘That +they must bring to Sparta the bones of Orestes, the son of Agamemnon.’ +But these bones they could not find, and therefore they sent again to the +oracle to inquire where Orestes lay buried. The god answered in hexameter +verse, but so obscurely and enigmatically that they could not +understand what he meant. They went about inquiring everywhere for +the bones of Orestes, till at last a wise man among them, called by +Herodotus <em>Liches</em>, found them out, partly by good fortune, and partly by +good understanding; for, happening to come one day to a smith’s shop in +the country of the Tegeatae, with whom at that time there was a truce and +intercourse betwixt the two nations, he looked at the operations of the +smith, and seemed to admire them very much; which the smith observing, +stopped his work, and, “Stranger,” says he, “you that seem to admire so +much the working of iron would have wondered much more if you had +seen what I saw lately; for, as I was digging for a well in this court here, +I fell upon a coffin that was seven cubits long; but <em>believing that there +never were at any time bigger men than the present</em>, I opened the coffin, +and found there a dead body as long as the coffin, which having measured +I again buried.” Hearing this, the Spartan conjectured that the words of +the oracle would apply to a smith’s shop, and to the operations there +performed; but taking care not to make this discovery to the smith, he +prevailed on him, with much difficulty, to give him a lease of the court; +which having obtained, he opened the coffin, and carried the bones to +Sparta. After which, says our author, the Spartans were upon every +occasion superior in fight to the Tegeatae.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. +p. 146.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘The most of our philosophers at present are, I believe, of the opinion +of the smith in Herodotus, who might be excused for having that opinion at +a time when perhaps no other heroic body had been discovered. But in +later times, I believe there was not the most vulgar man in Greece, who +did not believe that those heroes were very much superior, both in mind +and body, to the men of after-times. Indeed, they were not considered as +mere men, but as something betwixt gods and men, and had <em>heroic</em> +honours paid them, which were next to the <em>divine</em>. On the stage they +were represented as of extraordinary size, both as to length and breadth; +for the actor was not only raised upon very high shoes, which they called +<em>cothurns</em>, but he was put into a case that swelled his size prodigiously (and +I have somewhere read a very ridiculous story of one of them, who, coming +upon the stage, fell and broke his case, so that all the trash with which it +was stuffed, came out and was scattered upon the stage in the view of the +whole people). This accounts for the high style of ancient tragedy, in +which the heroes speak a language so uncommon, that, if I considered +them as men nowise superior to us, I should think it little better than +fustian, and should be apt to apply to it what Falstaff says to Pistol: +“Pr’ythee, Pistol, speak like a man of this world.” And I apply the same +observation to Homer’s poems. If I considered his heroes as no more +than men of this world, I should consider the things he relates of them as +quite ridiculous; but believing them to be men very much superior to us, +I read Homer with the highest admiration, not only as a poet, but as the +historian of the noblest race of men that ever existed. Thus, by having +right notions of the superiority of men in former times, we both improve +our philosophy of man and our taste in poetry.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. +iii. p. 150.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f53'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r53'>53</a>. ‘But though we should give no credit to those ancient authors, there +are monuments still extant, one particularly to be seen in our own island, +which I think ought to convince every man that the men of ancient times +were much superior to us, at least in the powers of the body. The +monument I mean is well known by the name of Stonehenge, and there +are several of the same kind to be seen in Denmark and Germany. I +desire to know where are the arms now, that, with so little help of +machinery as they must have had, could have raised and set up on end +such a number of prodigious stones, and put others on the top of them, +likewise of very great size? Such works are said by the peasants in +Germany to be the works of giants, and I think they must have been +giants compared with us. And, indeed, the men who erected Stonehenge +could not, I imagine, be of size inferior to that man whose body was found +in a quarry near to Salisbury, within a mile of which Stonehenge stands. +The body of that man was fourteen feet ten inches. The fact is attested +by an eye-witness, one Elyote, who writes, I believe, the first English-Latin +Dictionary that ever was published. It is printed in London in +1542, in folio, and has, under the word <em>Gigas</em>, the following passage: +“About thirty years past and somewhat more, I myself beynge with my +father Syr Rycharde Elyote at a monastery of regular canons, called Juy +Churche, two myles from the citie of Sarisburye, beholde the bones of a +deade man founde deep in the grounde, where they dygged stone, which +being joined togyther, was in length xiiii feet and ten ynches, there beynge +mette; whereof one of the teethe my father hadde, whych was of the +quantytie of a great walnutte. This have I wrytten, because some menne +wylle believe nothynge that is out of the compasse of theyre owne knowledge, +and yet some of them presume to have knowledge, above any other, +contempnynge all men but themselfes or suche as they favour.” It is for +the reason mentioned by this author that I have given so many examples +of the greater size of men than is to be seen in our day, to which I could +add several others concerning bodies that have been found in this our +island, particularly one mentioned by Hector Boece in his <cite>Description of +Scotland</cite>, prefixed to his Scotch History, where he tells us that in a certain +church which he names in the shire of Murray, the bones of a man of +much the same size as those of the man mentioned by Elyote, viz. fourteen +feet, were preserved. One of these bones Boece himself saw, and has +particularly described.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. p. 156.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘But without having recourse to bones or monuments of any kind, if +a man has looked upon the world as long as I have done with any +observation he must be convinced that the size of man is diminishing. I +have seen such bodies of men as are not now to be seen: I have observed +in families, of which I have known three generations, a gradual decline in +that, and I am afraid in other respects. Others may think otherwise; but +for my part I have so great a veneration for our ancestors, that I have +much indulgence for that ancient superstition among the Etrurians, and +from them derived to the Romans, of worshipping the <em>manes</em> of their +ancestors under the names of <em>Lares</em> or domestic gods, which undoubtedly +proceeded upon the supposition that they were men superior to themselves, +and their departed souls such genii as Hesiod has described,</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>ἐσθλοι, ἀλεξικακοι, φυλακες θνητων ἀνθρωπων.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>And if antiquity and the universal consent of nations can give a sanction +to any opinion, it is to this, that our forefathers were better men than we. +Even as far back as the Trojan war, the best age of men of which we +have any particular account, Homer has said that few men were better than +their fathers, and the greater part worse:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>οἱ πλεονες κακιους, παυροι δε τε πατρος ἀρειους.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c015'>And this he puts into the mouth of the Goddess of Wisdom.... But +when I speak of the universal consent of nations, I ought to except the +men, and particularly the young men, of this age, who generally believe +themselves to be better men than their fathers, or than any of their +predecessors.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. p. 161.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f54'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r54'>54</a>. </p> +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>ἡμεις μεν προπαν ἡμαρ, ἐς ἡελιον καταδυντα,</div> + <div class='line'>ἡμεθα, δαινυμενοι κρεα τ’ ἀσπετα και μεθυ ἡδυ κτλ.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f55'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r55'>55</a>. </p> +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>The nightingale is gay,</div> + <div class='line in2'>For she can vanquish night,</div> + <div class='line'>Dreaming, she sings of day,</div> + <div class='line in2'>Notes that make darkness bright.</div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>But when the refluent gloom</div> + <div class='line in2'>Saddens the gaps of song,</div> + <div class='line'>We charge on her the dolefulness,</div> + <div class='line in2'>And call her crazed with wrong.—<span class='sc'>Patmore.</span></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f56'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r56'>56</a>. Hudibras, Part III. ii. 1493.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f57'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r57'>57</a>. See Forsyth’s <cite>Principles of Moral Science</cite>.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f58'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r58'>58</a>. ‘<span lang="fr">Il buvoit du vin, mais le laissoit volontiers pour du lait, du thé, ou +d’autres liqueurs douces.</span>’—<span class='sc'>Buffon</span> <em>of the Oran Outang, whom he saw +himself in Paris</em>.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f59'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r59'>59</a>. See Mr. Wordsworth’s Lyrical Ballads.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f60'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r60'>60</a>. The figures of speech marked in italics are familiar to the admirers of +parliamentary rhetoric.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f61'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r61'>61</a>. <cite>Supplices</cite>, 807, ed. Schutz.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f62'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r62'>62</a>. Matthew xi. 19.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f63'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r63'>63</a>. ‘He that will mould a modern bishop into a primitive, must yield +him to be elected by the popular voice, undiocesed, unrevenued, unlorded, +and leave him nothing but brotherly equality, matchless temperance, +frequent fasting, incessant prayer and preaching, continual watchings and +labours in his ministry, which, what a rich booty it would be, what a plump +endowment to the many-benefice-gaping mouth of a prelate, what a relish +it would give to his canary-sucking and swan-eating palate, let old bishop +Mountain judge for me.—They beseech us, that we would think them fit +to be our justices of peace, our lords, our highest officers of state, though +they come furnished with no more knowledge than they learnt between the +cook and the manciple, or more profoundly at the college audit, or the +regent house, or to come to their deepest insight, at their patron’s table.’—<span class='sc'>Milton</span>: +<cite>Of Reformation in England</cite>.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f64'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r64'>64</a>. ‘Much have those travellers to answer for, whose casual intercourse +with this innocent and simple people tends to corrupt them: disseminating +among them ideas of extravagance and dissipation—giving them a taste +for pleasures and gratifications of which they had no ideas—inspiring them +with discontent at home—and tainting their rough industrious manners +with idleness and a thirst after dishonest means.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘If travellers would frequent this country with a view to examine its +grandeur and beauty, or to explore its varied and curious regions with the +eye of philosophy—if, in their passage through it, they could be content +with such fare as the country produces, or at least reconcile themselves to +it by manly exercise and fatigue (for there is a time when the stomach +and the plainest food will be found in perfect harmony)—if they could +thus, instead of corrupting the manners of an innocent people, learn to +amend their own, by seeing in how narrow a compass the wants of human +life may be compressed—a journey through these wild scenes might be +attended, perhaps, with more improvement than a journey to Rome or +Paris. Where manners are polished into vicious refinement, simplifying is +the best mode of improving; and the example of innocence is a more +instructive lesson than any that can be taught by artists and literati.</p> + +<p class='c007'>‘But these parts are too often the resort of gay company, who are +under no impressions of this kind—who have no ideas but of extending +the sphere of their amusements, or of varying a life of dissipation. The +grandeur of the country is not taken into the question, or at least it is not +otherwise considered than as affording some new mode of pleasurable +enjoyment. Thus, even the diversions of Newmarket are introduced—diversions, +one would imagine, more foreign to the nature of this country +than any other. A number of horses are carried into the middle of the +lake in a flat boat: a plug is drawn from the bottom: the boat sinks, and +the horses are left floating on the surface. In different directions they +make to land, and the horse which arrives soonest secures the prize.’—<span class='sc'>Gilpin’s</span> +<cite>Picturesque Observations on Cumberland and Westmoreland</cite>, +vol. ii. p. 67.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f65'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r65'>65</a>. ‘The necessary consequence of men living in so unnatural a way +with respect to houses, clothes, and diet, and continuing to live so for +many generations, each generation adding to the vices, diseases, and +weaknesses produced by the unnatural life of the preceding, is, that they +must gradually decline in strength, health, and longevity, till at length the +race dies out. To deny this would be to deny that the life allotted by +nature to man is the best life for the preservation of his health and +strength; for, if it be so, I think it is demonstration that the constant +deviation from it, going on for many centuries, must end in the extinction +of the race.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. v. p. 237.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f66'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r66'>66</a>. <span lang="fr">‘Rome, le siège de la gloire et de la vertu, si jamais elles en eurent +un sur la terre.’—<span class='sc'>Rousseau.</span></span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f67'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r67'>67</a>. </p> +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line in14'><span lang="la">——extrema per illos</span></div> + <div class='line'><span lang="la">Justitia, excedens terris, vestigia fecit.—<span class='sc'>Virg.</span></span></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f68'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r68'>68</a>. <cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. v. book iv. chap. 8.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f69'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r69'>69</a>. <cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. v. book iv. chap. 8.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f70'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r70'>70</a>. See <cite>Xenophon’s Memorabilia</cite>.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f71'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r71'>71</a>. <cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. v. book iv. chap. 8.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f72'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r72'>72</a>. </p> +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><span lang="la">si tantum culti solus possederis agri,</span></div> + <div class='line'><span lang="la">quantum sub Tatio populus Romanus arabat.—<span class='sc'>Juv.</span></span></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f73'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r73'>73</a>. <cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. v. book iv. chap. 8.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f74'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r74'>74</a>. </p> +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><span lang="it">‘Pochi compagni avrai per l’altra via:</span></div> + <div class='line'><span lang="it">Tanto ti prego più, gentile spirto,</span></div> + <div class='line'><span lang="it">Non lasciar la magnanima tua impresa.’—<span class='sc'>Petrarca.</span></span></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f75'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r75'>75</a>. ‘If it were seriously asked (and it would be no untimely question), +who of all teachers and masters that have ever taught hath drawn the most +disciples after him, both in religion and in manners, it might be not untruly +answered, Custom. Though Virtue be commended for the most persuasive +in her theory, and Conscience in the plain demonstration of the spirit finds +most evincing; yet, whether it be the secret of divine will, or the original +blindness we are born in, so it happens for the most part that Custom +still is silently received for the best instructor. Except it be because her +method is so glib and easy, in some manner like to that vision of Ezekiel, +rolling up her sudden book of implicit knowledge, for him that will to take +and swallow down at pleasure; which proving but of bad nourishment in +the concoction, as it was heedless in the devouring, puffs up unhealthily a +certain big face of pretended learning, mistaken among credulous men for +the wholesome habit of soundness and good constitution, but is, indeed, +no other than that swoln visage of counterfeit knowledge and literature +which not only in private mars our education, but also in public is the +common climber into every chair where either religion is preached or law +reported, filling each estate of life and profession with abject and servile +principles, depressing the high and heaven-born spirit of man, far beneath +the condition wherein either God created him, or sin hath sunk him. To +pursue the allegory, Custom being but a mere face, as Echo is a mere +voice, rests not in her unaccomplishment, until by secret inclination she +accorporate herself with Error, who being a blind and serpentine body, +without a head, willingly accepts what he wants, and supplies what her incompleteness +went seeking: hence it is that Error supports Custom, Custom +countenances Error, and these two, between them, would persecute and chase +away all truth and solid wisdom out of human life, were it not that God, +rather than man, once in many ages calls together the prudent and religious +counsels of men deputed to repress the encroachments, and to work off +the inveterate blots and obscurities wrought upon our minds by the subtle +insinuating of Error and Custom, who, with the numerous and vulgar +train of their followers, make it their chief design to envy and cry down +the industry of free reasoning, under the terms of humour and innovation, +as if the womb of teeming Truth were to be closed up, if she presume to +bring forth aught that sorts not with their unchewed notions and suppositions; +against which notorious injury and abuse of man’s free soul, to +testify and oppose the utmost that study and true labour can attain, +heretofore the incitement of men reputed grave hath led me among others, +and now the duty and the right of an instructed Christian calls me through +the chance of good or evil report <span class='fss'>TO BE THE SOLE ADVOCATE OF A +DISCOUNTENANCED TRUTH</span>.’—<span class='sc'>Milton</span>: <cite>The Doctrine and Discipline of +Divorce</cite>.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f76'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r76'>76</a>. Ιλ. Ζ. 261.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f77'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r77'>77</a>. The words in italics are Lord Monboddo’s: <cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. +iii. preface, p. 79.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f78'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r78'>78</a>. </p> +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>ῥιζῃ μεν μελαν ἐστι, γαλακτι δε εἰκελον ἀνθος,</div> + <div class='line'>ΜΩΛΥ δε μιν καλεουσι θεοι, χαλεπον δε τ’ ὀρυσσειν</div> + <div class='line'>θνητοις ἀνθρωποισι.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f79'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r79'>79</a>. The reader who is desirous of elucidating the mysteries of the words +and phrases marked in italics in this chapter may consult the German +works of Professor Kant, or Professor Born’s Latin translation of them, +or M. Villar’s <cite><span lang="fr">Philosophie de Kant, ou Principes fondamentaux de la +Philosophie Transcendentale</span></cite>; or the first article of the second number of +the <cite>Edinburgh Review</cite>, or the article ‘Kant,’ in the <cite><span lang="la">Encyclopaedia Londinensis</span></cite>, +or Sir William Drummond’s <cite>Academical Questions</cite>, book ii. chap. 9.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f80'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r80'>80</a>. Πρωτευς Ὀλβοδοτης, <em>Proteus the giver of riches</em>, certainly deserves a +place among the <cite>Lares</cite> of every poetical and political turncoat.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f81'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r81'>81</a>. See the Βατραχοι of Aristophanes.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f82'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r82'>82</a>. informi limo glaucaque exponit in ulva.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f83'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r83'>83</a>. <cite>Coleridge’s Lay Sermon</cite>, p. 10.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f84'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r84'>84</a>. <em>Ibid.</em></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f85'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r85'>85</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 21.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f86'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r86'>86</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 25.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f87'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r87'>87</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 27.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f88'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r88'>88</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> pp. 45, 46 (where the reader may find in a note the two worst +jokes that ever were cracked).</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f89'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r89'>89</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 17.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f90'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r90'>90</a>. ‘Some travellers speak of his strength as wonderful; greater they +say, than that of ten men such as we.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. +p. 105.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f91'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r91'>91</a>. <cite><span lang="fr">Esquisse d’un Tableau historique des Progrès de l’Esprit humain.</span></cite></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f92'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r92'>92</a>. <cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. p. 139.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f93'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r93'>93</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 193.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f94'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r94'>94</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 191.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f95'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r95'>95</a>. <cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. p. 181.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f96'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r96'>96</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 182.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f97'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r97'>97</a>. Cottle’s Edda, or, as the author calls it, <em>Translation</em> of the Edda, which +is a misnomer.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f98'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r98'>98</a>. <cite>Quarterly Review</cite>, No. xxxi. p. 237.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f99'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r99'>99</a>. <em>Ibid.</em></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f100'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r100'>100</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 252.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f101'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r101'>101</a>. <cite>Quarterly Review</cite>, No. xxxi. p. 252.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f102'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r102'>102</a>. <em>Ibid.</em></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f103'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r103'>103</a>. <cite>Quarterly Review</cite>, No. xxxi. p. 226.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f104'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r104'>104</a>. <em>Ibid.</em></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f105'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r105'>105</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 236.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f106'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r106'>106</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 226.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f107'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r107'>107</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 228.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f108'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r108'>108</a>. <em>Ibid.</em></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f109'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r109'>109</a>. <cite>Quarterly Review</cite>, No. xxxi. p. 273, <em>et passim</em>.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f110'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r110'>110</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 258.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f111'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r111'>111</a>. <em>Ibid.</em></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f112'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r112'>112</a>. <cite>Quarterly Review</cite>, No. xxxi. p. 249. It is curious, that in the fourth +article of the same number from which I have borrowed so many exquisite +passages, the reviewers are very angry that certain ‘scandalous and +immoral practices’ in the island of Wahoo are not reformed: but certainly, +according to the logic of these reviewers, the Government of Wahoo is +entitled to look upon <em>them</em> in the light of ‘ruffians, scoundrels, incendiaries, +firebrands, madmen, and villains’; since all these hard names belong of +primary right to those who propose the reformation of ‘scandalous and +immoral practices’! The people of Wahoo, it appears, are very much +addicted to drunkenness and debauchery; and the reviewers, in the plenitude +of their wisdom, recommend that a few clergymen should be sent out to +them, by way of mending their morals. It does not appear, whether King +Tamaahmaah is a king by <em>divine right</em>; but we must take it for granted +that he is not; as, otherwise, the <cite>Quarterly Reviewers</cite> would either not +admit that there were any ‘scandalous and immoral practices’ under his +government, or, if they did admit them, they would not be such ‘incendiaries, +madmen, and villains,’ as to advocate their reformation. There +are some circumstances, however, which are conclusive against the <em>legitimacy</em> +of King Tamaahmaah, which are these: that he is a man of great ‘feeling, +energy, and steadiness of conduct’; that he ‘goes about among his people +to learn their wants’; and that he has ‘prevented the recurrence of those +horrid murders’ which disgraced the reigns of his predecessors: from which +it is obvious that he has neither put to death brave and generous men, who +surrendered themselves under the faith of treaties, nor re-established a fallen +Inquisition, nor sent those to whom he owed his crown to the dungeon and +the galleys.</p> + +<p class='c007'>In the tenth article of the same number the reviewers pour forth the +bitterness of their gall against Mr. Warden of the Northumberland, who +has detected them in promulgating much gross and foolish falsehood concerning +the captive Napoleon. They labour most assiduously to <em>impeach +his veracity</em> and to <em>discredit his judgment</em>. On the first point, it is sufficient +evidence of the truth of his statements, that the <cite>Quarterly Reviewers</cite> +contradict them: but on the second, they accuse him, among other misdemeanours, +of having called their <cite>Review</cite> ‘<em>a respectable work</em>‘! which +certainly <em>discredits his judgment</em> completely.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f113'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r113'>113</a>. <cite>Quarterly Review</cite>, No. xxxi. p. 249. The reader will be reminded +of <cite>Croaker</cite> in the fourth act of the <cite>Good-natured Man</cite>: ‘Blood and gunpowder +in every line of it. Blown up! murderous dogs! all blown up! +(<em>Reads.</em>) “Our pockets are low, and money we must have.” Ay, there’s +the reason: they’ll blow us up <em>because they have got low pockets</em>.... +Perhaps this moment I’m treading on lighted matches, blazing brimstone, +and barrels of gunpowder. They are preparing to blow me up into the +clouds. Murder!... Here, John, Nicodemus, search the house. Look +into the cellars, to see if there be any combustibles below, and above in the +apartments, that no matches be thrown in at the windows. <em>Let all the fires +be put out</em>, and let the <em>engine</em> be drawn out in the yard, to <em>play upon the +house</em> in case of necessity.’—<cite>Croaker</cite> was a deep politician. The <em>engine</em> +to <em>play</em> upon the <em>house</em>: mark that!</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f114'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r114'>114</a>. This illustration of the old fable of the mouse and the mountain falls +short of an exhibition in the Honourable House, on the 29th of January +1817; when Mr. Canning, amidst a tremendous denunciation of the +parliamentary reformers, and a rhetorical chaos of storms, whirlwinds, +rising suns, and twilight assassins, produced in proof of his charges—<cite>Spence’s +Plan!</cite> which was received with an <em>éclat</em> of laughter on one side, +and shrugs of surprise, disappointment, and disapprobation on the other. +I can find but one parallel for the Right Honourable Gentleman’s dismay:</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>So having said, awhile he stood, expecting</div> + <div class='line'>Their universal shout and high applause</div> + <div class='line'>To fill his ear; when contrary he hears</div> + <div class='line'>On all sides, from innumerable tongues,</div> + <div class='line'>A dismal universal hiss, the sound</div> + <div class='line'>Of public scorn.—<cite>Paradise Lost</cite>, x. 504.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'>This Spencean chimaera, which is the very foolishness of folly, and which +was till lately invisible to the naked eye of the political entomologist, has +since been subjected to a <em>lens</em> of <em>extraordinary power</em>, under which, like +an insect in a microscope, it has appeared a formidable and complicated +monster, all bristles, scales, and claws, with a ‘husk about it like a +chestnut’: <i><span lang="la">horridus, in jaculis et pelle Libystidis ursae!</span></i></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f115'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r115'>115</a>. <cite>Quarterly Review</cite>, No. xxxi. p. 271.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f116'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r116'>116</a>. <em>Ibid.</em></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f117'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r117'>117</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 258.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f118'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r118'>118</a>. <em>Ibid.</em></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f119'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r119'>119</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 273.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f120'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r120'>120</a>. <cite>Quarterly Review</cite>, No. xxxi. p. 276.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f121'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r121'>121</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 260.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f122'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r122'>122</a>. <em>Ibid.</em> p. 192.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f123'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r123'>123</a>. ‘To scatter praise or blame without regard to justice is to destroy the +distinction of good and evil. Many have no other test of actions than +general opinion; and all are so far influenced by a sense of reputation, +that they are often restrained by fear of reproach, and excited by hope of +honour, when other principles have lost their power; nor can any species +of prostitution promote general depravity more, than that which destroys +the force of praise by showing that it may be acquired without deserving +it, and which, by setting free the active and ambitious from the dread of +infamy, lets loose the rapacity of power, and weakens the only authority +by which greatness is controlled. What credit can he expect who professes +himself the hireling of vanity however profligate, and without shame or +scruple celebrates the worthless, dignifies the mean, and gives to the corrupt, +licentious, and oppressive, the ornaments which ought only to add grace +to truth, and loveliness to innocence? <span class='sc'>Every other kind of adulteration, +however shameful, however mischievous, is less detestable +than the crime of counterfeiting characters, and fixing the +stamp of literary sanction upon the dross and refuse of the +world.</span>’—<cite>Rambler</cite>, No. 136.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f124'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r124'>124</a>. <span lang="la">Deorum injurias diis curae.—<cite>Tiberius apud Tacit. Ann. I.</cite> 73.</span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f125'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r125'>125</a>. ‘Besides all these evils of modern times which I have mentioned, +there is in some countries of Europe, and particularly in England, another +evil peculiar to civilised countries, but quite unknown in barbarous nations. +The evil I mean is <em>indigence</em>, and the reader will be surprised when I tell +him that it is <em>greatest in the richest countries</em>; and, therefore, in England, +which I believe is the richest country in Europe, there is more indigence +than in any other; for the number of people that are there maintained on +public or private charity, and who may therefore be called <em>beggars</em>, is +prodigious. What proportion they may bear to the whole people, I have +never heard computed: but I am sure it must be very great. And I am +afraid in those countries they call rich, indigence is not confined to the +lower sort of people, but extends even to the better sort: for such is the +effect of wealth in a nation, that (however paradoxical it may appear) it +does at last make all men poor and indigent; the lower sort through +idleness and debauchery, the better sort through luxury, vanity, and +extravagant expense. Now, I would desire to know from the greatest +admirers of modern times, who maintain that the human race is not +degenerated, but rather improved, whether they know any other source of +human misery, besides vice, disease, and indigence, and whether these +three are not in the greatest abundance in the rich and flourishing country +of England? I would further ask these gentlemen, whether, in the cities +of the ancient world, there were poor’s houses, hospitals, infirmaries, and +those other receptacles of indigence and disease which we see in the +modern cities? And whether, in the streets of ancient Athens and Rome, +there were so many objects of disease, deformity, and misery to be seen as +in our streets, besides those which are concealed from public view in the +houses above mentioned? In later times, indeed, in those cities, when +the corruption of manners was almost as great as among us, some such +things might have been seen as we are sure they were to be seen in Constantinople, +under the later Greek Emperors.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. +iii. p. 194.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f126'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r126'>126</a>. <span lang="la">‘Omnia, quae nunc vetustissima creduntur, nova fuere. Inveterascet +hoc quoque: et, quod hodie exemplis tuemur, inter exempla erit.’—<span class='sc'>Tacitus</span>, +<cite>Ann. XI.</cite> 24.</span></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f127'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r127'>127</a>. <cite>Drummond’s Academical Questions.</cite>—Preface, p. 4.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f128'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r128'>128</a>. <cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. p. 280.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f129'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r129'>129</a>. <cite>Malthus on Population</cite>, book i. chap. vii.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f130'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r130'>130</a>. Sophocles, Antigone, 850. (Ed. Erfurdt.)</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f131'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r131'>131</a>. ‘It is notorious, that towards one another the Indians are liberal in +the extreme, and for ever ready to supply the deficiencies of their neighbours +with any superfluities of their own. They have no idea of amassing wealth +for themselves individually; and they wonder that persons can be found in +any society so destitute of every generous sentiment as to enrich themselves +at the expense of others, and to live in ease and affluence regardless of the +misery and wretchedness of members of the same community to which they +themselves belong.’—<span class='sc'>Weld’s</span> <cite>Travels in Canada; Letter XXXV.</cite></p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f132'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r132'>132</a>. See the Edda and the Northern Antiquities.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f133'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r133'>133</a>. ‘The civilised man will submit to the greatest pain and labour, in +order to excel in any exercise which is honourable; and this induces me to +believe that such a man as Achilles might have beat in running even an +oran outang, or the savage of the Pyrenees, whom nobody could lay hold +of, though that be the exercise in which savages excel the most, and +though I am persuaded that the oran outang of Angola is naturally stronger +and swifter of foot than Achilles was, or than even the heroes of the +preceding age, such as Hercules, and such as Theseus, Pirithous, and +others mentioned by Nestor.’—<cite>Ancient Metaphysics</cite>, vol. iii. p. 76.</p> +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f134'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r134'>134</a>. See Fletcher’s <cite>Faithful Shepherdess</cite>. The following extracts from +the Satyr’s speeches to Corin will explain the allusion in the text.</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b c008'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>But behold a fairer sight!</div> + <div class='line'>By that heavenly form of thine,</div> + <div class='line'>Brightest fair! thou art divine!</div> + <div class='line'>Sprung from great immortal race</div> + <div class='line'>Of the gods; for in thy face</div> + <div class='line'>Shines more awful majesty</div> + <div class='line'>Than dull weak mortality</div> + <div class='line'>Dare with misty eyes behold,</div> + <div class='line'>And live! Therefore on this mould</div> + <div class='line'>Lowly do I bend my knee,</div> + <div class='line'>In worship of thy deity.</div> + <div class='line in24'><cite>Act I. Scene I.</cite></div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Brightest! if there be remaining</div> + <div class='line'>Any service, without feigning</div> + <div class='line'>I will do it: were I set</div> + <div class='line'>To catch the nimble wind, or get</div> + <div class='line'>Shadows gliding on the green,</div> + <div class='line'>Or to steal from the great queen</div> + <div class='line'>Of the fairies all her beauty,</div> + <div class='line'>I would do it, so much duty</div> + <div class='line'>Do I owe those precious eyes.</div> + <div class='line in24'><cite>Act IV. Scene II.</cite></div> + </div> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'>Thou divinest, fairest, brightest,</div> + <div class='line'>Thou most powerful maid, and whitest,</div> + <div class='line'>Thou most virtuous and most blessed,</div> + <div class='line'>Eyes of stars, and golden tressed</div> + <div class='line'>Like Apollo. Tell me, sweetest,</div> + <div class='line'>What new service now is meetest</div> + <div class='line'>For the Satyr? Shall I stray</div> + <div class='line'>In the middle air, and stay</div> + <div class='line'>The sailing rack? or nimbly take</div> + <div class='line'>Hold by the moon, and gently make</div> + <div class='line'>Suit to the pale queen of night</div> + <div class='line'>For a beam to give thee light?</div> + <div class='line'>Shall I dive into the sea,</div> + <div class='line'>And bring thee coral, making way</div> + <div class='line'>Through the rising waves that fall</div> + <div class='line'>In snowy fleeces? Dearest, shall</div> + <div class='line'>I catch thee wanton fauns, or flies</div> + <div class='line'>Whose woven wings the summer dyes</div> + <div class='line'>Of many colours? Get thee fruit?</div> + <div class='line'>Or steal from heaven old Orpheus’ lute?</div> + <div class='line'>All these I’ll venture for, and more,</div> + <div class='line'>To do her service all these woods adore.</div> + <div class='line in24'><cite>Act V. Scene V.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> +<div class='footnote' id='f135'> +<p class='c007'><a href='#r135'>135</a>. ‘There are very few women who might not have married in some +way or other. The old maid, who has either never formed an attachment, +or who has been disappointed in the object of it, has, under the circumstances +in which she has been placed, conducted herself with the most +perfect propriety; and has acted a much more virtuous and honourable +part in society than those women who marry without a proper degree of +love, or at least of esteem, for their husbands; a species of immorality +which is not reprobated as it deserves.’—<cite>Malthus on Population</cite>, book iv.</p> +</div> +<div class='pbb'> + <hr class='pb c004'> +</div> + +<div class='chapter ph2'> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c001'> + <div>MACMILLAN & CO.’S NEW NOVELS</div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div>Crown 8vo. 6s. each.</div> + <div class='c004'><em>Second Edition now ready.</em></div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c019'><cite class='strong'>THE COURTSHIP OF MORRICE BUCKLER.</cite> By <span class='sc'>A. 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Price 3s. 6d. each.</div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By ROLF BOLDREWOOD.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><cite>SATURDAY REVIEW.</cite>—“Mr. Boldrewood can tell what he knows with great +point and vigour, and there is no better reading than the adventurous parts of his +books.”</p> + +<p class='c007'><cite>PALL MALL GAZETTE.</cite>—“The volumes are brimful of adventure, in which +gold, gold-diggers, prospectors, claim-holders, take an active part.”</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Robbery under Arms.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Squatter’s Dream.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Colonial Reformer.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Miner’s Right.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Sydney-Side Saxon.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Nevermore.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Modern Buccaneer.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><em>By HUGH CONWAY.</em></div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><cite>MORNING POST.</cite>—“Life-like, and full of individuality.”</p> + +<p class='c007'><cite>DAILY NEWS.</cite>—“Throughout written with spirit, good feeling, and ability, +and a certain dash of humour.”</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Living or Dead?</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Family Affair.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By MRS. CRAIK.</em></span></div> + <div class='c004'>(The Author of ‘<span class='sc'>John Halifax, Gentleman</span>.’)</div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Olive.</cite> With Illustrations by <span class='sc'>G. Bowers</span>.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Ogilvies.</cite> With Illustrations.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Agatha’s Husband.</cite> With Illustrations.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Head of the Family.</cite> With Illustrations.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Two Marriages.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Laurel Bush.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>About Money, and other Things.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>My Mother and I.</cite> With Illustrations.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Miss Tommy: A Mediæval Romance.</cite> Illustrated.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>King Arthur: Not a Love Story.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Sermons out of Church.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Concerning Men, and other Papers.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By F. MARION CRAWFORD.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><cite>SPECTATOR.</cite>—“With the solitary exception of Mrs. Oliphant we have no living +novelist more distinguished for variety of theme and range of imaginative outlook +than Mr. Marion Crawford.”</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Mr. Isaacs: A Tale of Modern India.</cite> Portrait of Author.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Dr. Claudius</cite>: a True Story.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Roman Singer.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Zoroaster.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Marzio’s Crucifix.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Tale of a Lonely Parish.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Paul Patoff.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>With the Immortals.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Greifenstein.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Sant’ Ilario.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Cigarette-Maker’s Romance.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Khaled.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Three Fates.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Witch of Prague.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Children of the King.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Marion Darche.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Pietro Ghisleri.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Katharine Lauderdale.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Don Orsino.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><i>By <span class='sc'>Sir</span> HENRY CUNNINGHAM, K.C.I.E.</i></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><cite>ST. JAMES’S GAZETTE.</cite>—“Interesting as specimens of romance, the style +of writing is so excellent—scholarly and at the same time easy and natural—that the +volumes are worth reading on that account alone. But there is also masterly description +of persons, places, and things; skilful analysis of character; a constant play of +wit and humour; and a happy gift of instantaneous portraiture.”</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Cœruleans.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Heriots.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Wheat and Tares.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> + <div class='nf-center'> + <div>Crown 8vo. 3s. 6d. each volume.</div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By CHARLES DICKENS.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Pickwick Papers.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Oliver Twist.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Nicholas Nickleby.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Martin Chuzzlewit.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Old Curiosity Shop.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Barnaby Rudge.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Dombey and Son.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Christmas Books.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Sketches by Boz.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>David Copperfield.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>American Notes and Pictures from Italy.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Letters of Charles Dickens.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By MARY ANGELA DICKENS.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Mere Cypher.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Valiant Ignorance.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By BRET HARTE.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><cite>SPEAKER.</cite>—“The best work of Mr. Bret Harte stands entirely alone ... +marked on every page by distinction and quality.... Strength and delicacy, spirit +and tenderness, go together in his best work.”</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Cressy.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Heritage of Dedlow Marsh.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A First Family of Tasajara.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By THOMAS HUGHES.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Tom Brown’s Schooldays.</cite> With Illustrations by <span class='sc'>A. Hughes</span> and <span class='sc'>S. P. Hall</span>.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Tom Brown at Oxford.</cite> With Illustrations by <span class='sc'>S. P. Hall</span>.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Scouring of the White Horse, and The Ashen Faggot.</cite> With Illustrations by <span class='sc'>Richard Doyle</span>.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By HENRY JAMES.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><cite>SATURDAY REVIEW.</cite>—“He has the power of seeing with the artistic perception +of the few, and of writing about what he has seen, so that the many can +understand and feel with him.”</p> + +<p class='c007'><cite>WORLD.</cite>—“His touch is so light, and his humour, while shrewd and keen, so +free from bitterness.”</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A London Life.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Aspern Papers.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Tragic Muse.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By ANNIE KEARY.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><cite>SPECTATOR.</cite>—“In our opinion there have not been many novels published +better worth reading. The literary workmanship is excellent, and all the windings +of the stories are worked with patient fulness and a skill not often found.”</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Castle Daly.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A York and a Lancaster Rose.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Oldbury.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Doubting Heart.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Janet’s Home.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Nations around Israel.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By W. CLARK RUSSELL.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><cite>TIMES.</cite>—“Mr. Clark Russell is one of those writers who have set themselves to +revive the British sea story in all its glorious excitement. Mr. Russell has made a +considerable reputation in this line. His plots are well conceived, and that of +‘Marooned’ is no exception to this rule.”</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Marooned.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Strange Elopement.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By ARCHDEACON FARRAR.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Seekers after God.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Eternal Hope.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Fall of Man.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Witness of History to Christ.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Silence and Voices of God.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>In the Days of thy Youth.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Saintly Workers.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Ephphatha.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Mercy and Judgment.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Sermons and Addresses in America.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='chapter ph2'> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c001'> + <div>MACMILLAN’S THREE-AND-SIXPENNY SERIES.</div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div>Crown 8v. 3s. 6d. each volume.</div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By CHARLES KINGSLEY.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Westward Ho!</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Hypatia.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Yeast.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Alton Locke.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Two Years Ago.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Hereward the Wake.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Poems.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Heroes.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Water Babies.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Madam How and Lady Why.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>At Last.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Prose Idylls.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Plays and Puritans</cite>, etc.</div> + <div class='line in2'><cite class='strong'>The Roman and the Teuton.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Sanitary and Social Lectures and Essays.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Historical Lectures and Essays.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Scientific Lectures and Essays.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Literary and General Lectures.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Hermits.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Glaucus: or the Wonders of The Seashore.</cite> With Coloured Illustrations.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Village and Town and Country Sermons.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Water of Life, and other Sermons.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Sermons on National Subjects, and the King of the Earth.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Sermons for the Times.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Good News of God.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Gospel of the Pentateuch, and David.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Discipline, and other Sermons.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Westminster Sermons.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>All Saints’ Day, and other Sermons.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By D. CHRISTIE MURRAY.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><cite>SPECTATOR.</cite>—“Mr. Christie Murray has more power and genius for the +delineation of English rustic life than any half-dozen of our surviving novelists put +together.”</p> + +<p class='c007'><cite>SATURDAY REVIEW.</cite>—“Few modern novelists can tell a story of English +country life better than Mr. D. Christie Murray.”</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Aunt Rachel.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>John Vale’s Guardian.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Schwartz.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Weaker Vessel.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>He Fell among Thieves.</cite> <span class='sc'>D. C. Murray</span> and <span class='sc'>H. Herman</span>.</div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By Mrs. OLIPHANT.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<p class='c007'><cite>ACADEMY.</cite>—“At her best she is, with one or two exceptions, the best of living +English novelists.”</p> + +<p class='c007'><cite>SATURDAY REVIEW.</cite>—“Has the charm of style, the literary quality and +flavour that never fails to please.”</p> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Beleaguered City.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Joyce.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Neighbours on the Green.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Kirsteen.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Hester.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Sir Tom.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Country Gentleman and his Family.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Curate in Charge.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Second Son.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>He that Will Not when He May.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Railway Man and his Children.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Marriage of Elinor.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Heir Presumptive and the Heir-Apparent.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Son of the Soil.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Wizard’s Son.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Young Musgrave.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Lady William.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By J. H. SHORTHOUSE.</em></span></div> + <div class='c004'><cite>ANTI-JACOBIN.</cite>—“Powerful, striking, and fascinating romances.”</div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>John Inglesant.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Sir Percival.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Little Schoolmaster Mark.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Countess Eve.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Teacher of the Violin.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Blanche, Lady Falaise.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By FREDERICK DENISON MAURICE.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Sermons Preached in Lincoln’s Inn Chapel.</cite> In 6 vols.</div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Christmas Day, and Other Sermons.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Theological Essays.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Prophets and Kings.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Patriarchs and Lawgivers.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Gospel of the Kingdom of Heaven.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Gospel of St. John.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Epistles of St. John.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Lectures on the Apocalypse.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Friendship of Books.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Social Morality.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Prayer Book and Lord’s Prayer.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Doctrine of Sacrifice.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Acts of the Apostles.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> + <div class='nf-center'> + <div>Crown 8vo. 3s. 6d. each volume.</div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By CHARLOTTE M. YONGE.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Heir of Redclyffe.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Heartsease.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Hopes and Fears.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Dynevor Terrace.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Daisy Chain.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Trial: More Links of the Daisy Chain.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Pillars of the House. Vol. I.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Pillars of the House. Vol. II.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Young Stepmother.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Clever Woman of the Family.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Three Brides.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>My Young Alcides.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Caged Lion.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Dove in the Eagle’s Nest.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Chaplet of Pearls.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Lady Hester, and the Davers Papers.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Magnum Bonum.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Love and Life.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Unknown to History.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Stray Pearls.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Armourer’s ‘Prentices.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>The Two Sides of the Shield.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Nuttie’s Father.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Scenes and Characters.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Chantry House.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>A Modern Telemachus.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Bye-Words.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Beechcroft at Rockstone.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>More Bywords.</cite></div> + <div class='line in2'><cite class='strong'>A Reputed Changeling.</cite></div> + <div class='line in2'><cite class='strong'>The Little Duke.</cite></div> + <div class='line in2'><cite class='strong'>The Lances of Lynwood.</cite></div> + <div class='line in2'><cite class='strong'>The Prince and the Page.</cite></div> + <div class='line in2'><cite class='strong'>P’s and Q’s, and Little Lucy’s Wonderful Globe.</cite></div> + <div class='line in2'><cite class='strong'>Two Penniless Princesses.</cite></div> + <div class='line in2'><cite class='strong'>That Stick.</cite></div> + <div class='line in2'><cite class='strong'>An Old Woman’s Outlook.</cite></div> + <div class='line in2'><cite class='strong'>Grisly Grisell.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div><span class='large'><em>By VARIOUS WRITERS.</em></span></div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='lg-container-b'> + <div class='linegroup'> + <div class='group'> + <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Sir</span> S. W. BAKER.—<cite class='strong'>True Tales for My Grandsons.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>R. BLENNERHASSETT <span class='fss'>AND</span> L. SLEEMAN.—<cite class='strong'>Adventures in Mashonaland.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>FRANCES HODGSON BURNETT.—<cite class='strong'>Louisiana and That Lass O’ Lowrie’s.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>Sir MORTIMER DURAND, K.C.I.E.—<cite class='strong'>Helen Treveryan.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>‘English Men of Letters’ Series.</cite> In 13 Monthly Volumes, each Volume containing three books.</div> + <div class='line'>LANOE FALCONER.—<cite class='strong'>Cecilia de Noël.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>ARCHIBALD FORBES.—<cite class='strong'>Barracks, Bivouacs, and Battles.—Souvenirs of Some Continents.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>W. FORBES-MITCHELL.—<cite class='strong'>Reminiscences of the Great Mutiny, 1857–59.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>W. W. FOWLER.—<cite class='strong'>Tales of the Birds.</cite> Illustrated by <span class='sc'>Bryan Hook</span>. <b>A Year with the Birds.</b> Illustrated by <span class='sc'>Bryan Hook</span>.</div> + <div class='line'>Rev. J. GILMORE.—<cite class='strong'>Storm Warriors.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>P. KENNEDY.—<cite class='strong'>Legendary Fictions of the Irish Celts.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>HENRY KINGSLEY.—<cite class='strong'>Tales of Old Travel.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>MARGARET LEE.—<cite class='strong'>Faithful and Unfaithful.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>AMY LEVY.—<cite class='strong'>Reuben Sachs.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>S. R. LYSAGHT.—<cite class='strong'>The Marplot.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>LORD LYTTON.—<cite class='strong'>The Ring of Amasis.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>M. M’LENNAN.—<cite class='strong'>Muckle Jock, and other Stories of Peasant Life.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>LUCAS MALET.—<cite class='strong'>Mrs. Lorimer.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>GUSTAVE MASSON.—<cite class='strong'>A French Dictionary.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>A. B. MITFORD.—<cite class='strong'>Tales of Old Japan.</cite></div> + <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Major</span> G. PARRY.—<cite class='strong'>The Story of Dick.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>E. C. PRICE.—<cite class='strong'>In the Lion’s Mouth.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>W. C. RHOADES.—<cite class='strong'>John Trevennick.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>THE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE. Vol. I. <cite class='strong'>Comedies.</cite> Vol. II. <cite class='strong'>Histories.</cite> Vol. III. <cite class='strong'>Tragedies.</cite> 3 vols.</div> + <div class='line'>FLORA A. STEEL.—<cite class='strong'>Miss Stuart’s Legacy.</cite>—<cite class='strong'>The Flower of Forgiveness.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>MARCHESA THEODOLI.—<cite class='strong'>Under Pressure.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>“TIMES” Summaries.—<cite class='strong'>Biographies of Eminent Persons.</cite> In 4 vols.—<b>Annual Summaries.</b> In 2 vols.</div> + <div class='line'>Mrs. HUMPHRY WARD.—<cite class='strong'>Miss Bretherton.</cite></div> + <div class='line'>MONTAGU WILLIAMS, Q.C.—<cite class='strong'>Leaves of a Life.</cite>—<cite class='strong'>Later Leaves.</cite>—<b>Round London: Down East, and Up West.</b></div> + <div class='line'><cite class='strong'>Hogan, M.P.</cite>—<cite class='strong'>Tim.</cite>—<cite class='strong'>The New Antigone.</cite></div> + </div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c003'> + <div>MACMILLAN AND CO., LONDON.</div> + </div> +</div> + +<div class='pbb'> + <hr class='pb c004'> +</div> +<div class='tnotes x-ebookmaker'> + +<div class='chapter ph2'> + +<div class='nf-center-c0'> +<div class='nf-center c001'> + <div>TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES</div> + </div> +</div> + +</div> + + <ul class='ul_1 c003'> + <li>Typos fixed; non-standard spelling and dialect retained. + + </li> + <li>Used numbers for footnotes, placing them all at the end of the last chapter. + </li> + </ul> + +</div> + +<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75943 ***</div> + </body> + <!-- created with ppgen.py 3.57e (with regex) on 2025-04-23 13:44:43 GMT --> +</html> + diff --git a/75943-h/images/cover.jpg b/75943-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..04c994a --- /dev/null +++ b/75943-h/images/cover.jpg diff --git a/75943-h/images/i_004.jpg b/75943-h/images/i_004.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..767a145 --- /dev/null +++ b/75943-h/images/i_004.jpg diff --git a/75943-h/images/i_008.jpg b/75943-h/images/i_008.jpg Binary files differnew file 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