diff options
Diffstat (limited to '75864-0.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 75864-0.txt | 9209 |
1 files changed, 9209 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/75864-0.txt b/75864-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8dbb466 --- /dev/null +++ b/75864-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9209 @@ + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75864 *** + + + + + + +“THIS WAS A MAN” + + + + + _NOEL COWARD_ + + “THIS WAS A MAN” + + A Comedy in Three Acts + + [Illustration] + + Garden City, New York + Doubleday, Doran & Company, Inc. + MCMXXXIII + + COPYRIGHT, 1926 + BY NOEL COWARD + ALL RIGHTS RESERVED + PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES + + + + +ERRATUM + + +_Applications regarding performing rights should be addressed to the +author, care of the publishers._ + + + + + TO + JOHN C. WILSON + + PALERMO, _April 1926_ + + + + +“THIS WAS A MAN” + + +CHARACTERS + +(In the order of their appearance) + + EDWARD CHURT + CAROL CHURT + HARRY CHALLONER + MARGOT BUTLER + BERRY + BOBBIE ROMFORD + ZOE ST. MERRYN + MAJOR EVELYN BATHURST + BLACKWELL + + +SCENES + +ACT I + + SCENE I: Edward Chart’s studio in Knightsbridge—2.30 A.M. + + SCENE II: The same. The following afternoon. + +ACT II + + SCENE: Evelyn Bathurst’s flat. The same night. + +ACT III + + SCENE: The same as Act I. The following morning. + + + + +“THIS WAS A MAN” + +Act One + + + + +ACT I + + +SCENE I + +_EDWARD CHURT’S studio in Knightsbridge is furnished with mingled opulence +and good taste—he is a successful modern portrait-painter._ + + [_When the curtain rises it is about 2.30 a.m. There is a faint glow + from the fireplace on the left; a table stands more or less C., + upon which is a reading lamp illumining a decanter of whisky, some + siphons, a plate of biscuits and another of sandwiches, and two or + three glasses; there are also a box of cigarettes and matches. The + rest of the room is in comparative darkness. There is the sound of + a taxi drawing up in the street, then after a suitable pause the + noise of the front door being opened. CAROL CHURT enters, followed + by HARRY CHALLONER. They are both in evening dress. CAROL is lovely + and exquisitely gowned; her vivid personality is composed of a + minimum of intellect and a maximum of sex. HARRY possesses all the + earmarks of a social success—he is an excellent ballroom dancer, + compared with which his activities in the city are negligible._] + +CAROL + +Don’t make a noise. + +HARRY + +I wasn’t. + +CAROL + +I didn’t say you were—I said don’t. + +HARRY + +All right. + +CAROL + +Do you want a drink? + +HARRY + +Yes, please. + +CAROL + +Help yourself then—and give me one. + + [_She takes off her cloak and lights a cigarette._] + +HARRY + +Say when. + +CAROL + +That’s enough. + + [_He fills up the glass with soda and hands it to her._] + +HARRY + +Here. + +CAROL + +Thanks. + +HARRY + +You are a marvel. + +CAROL + +Why? + +HARRY + +You’re so steady. + +CAROL + +I don’t see any reason for being anything else. + +HARRY + +You don’t think he’ll find out? + +CAROL + +Of course not. + +HARRY + +Where does he sleep? + +CAROL + + [_Pointing to door, R._] + +In there. + + [_HARRY, with big drink in his hand, tiptoes over and listens at the + door._] + +HARRY + +I can’t hear a sound. + +CAROL + +He doesn’t snore unless he’s taken to it lately. + +HARRY + + [_Returning_] + +Darling, do you love me? + +CAROL + +What a silly question! + +HARRY + +It’s all been so wonderful. + +CAROL + + [_Smiling_] + +Has it? + +HARRY + +Well, hasn’t it? + +CAROL + +Yes, it has rather. [_He puts down his drink and takes her in his arms._] +Look out— + + [_She is holding her glass out at arm’s length to prevent it + upsetting._] + +HARRY + +Put it down, darling— + + [_There is a good deal of passion in his voice when he says, + “darling.”_] + +CAROL + +Why? + +HARRY + +I want to kiss you. + +CAROL + +Again? + +HARRY + +Yes, again and again and again—forever. + + [_He takes her glass and slams it down on the table._] + +CAROL + +Shhh! Don’t be a fool. + +HARRY + +I don’t care— + + [_He kisses her lingeringly._] + +CAROL + + [_Gently disentangling herself_] + +I do—it’s silly to be reckless. + +HARRY + +I don’t believe you love me as much as you did before. + +CAROL + +It isn’t that at all—you know it isn’t. + +HARRY + +Kiss me then. + +CAROL + +Very well. + + [_She goes up to him and quietly kisses him on the mouth. They stand + there motionless for a moment._] + +HARRY + +I want you—all over again—for the first time. + +CAROL + + [_Stroking his face_] + +Darling. + +HARRY + +I’m crazy about you. + +CAROL + +You must go home to bed now. + +HARRY + +Will you telephone me? + +CAROL + +Yes. + +HARRY + +First thing? + +CAROL + +Yes. + +HARRY + +Promise. + +CAROL + +Promise. + + [_They go out of the door. There is a little whispering in the hall. + Then a silence and the sound of the front door closing gently. CAROL + comes back into the studio pensively. She finishes her whisky and + soda, takes a biscuit, and flings her cloak over her arm; then she + switches off the light and goes slowly off up R. Her door closes. + After a slight pause EDWARD CHURT rises from the big armchair by + the fire in which he has been sitting with his back to the audience, + and goes over to the table. He switches on the lamp again and helps + himself to a sandwich; he munches it thoughtfully for a moment, then + with an air of determination picks up the whole plate, switches off + the lamp and—retires to his room._] + + CURTAIN + + +SCENE II + +_The scene is the same. It is an afternoon a few weeks later about five +o’clock._ + + [_When the curtain rises, LADY MARGOT BUTLER is seated down-stage in + a slightly picturesque attitude. She is a good-looking woman of about + thirty-five. EDWARD is working on a sketch of her and is hidden from + view behind an easel._] + +MARGOT + +I’m much more comfortable now, Edward. + +EDWARD + +Yes, I see you are. Would you mind getting uncomfortable again? + +MARGOT + + [_Rearranging herself_] + +It _is_ a shame. Why do you insist on drawing people in such agonizing +positions? + +EDWARD + +It makes them feel they’re getting their money’s worth. You can rest in a +moment and have a cigarette. + +MARGOT + +Was Violet Netherson pleased with your malicious portrayal of all her +worst points? + +EDWARD + +Delighted. As a matter of fact, it _is_ one of the best things I’ve done. + +MARGOT + +Yes, but hardly from her point of view. I should never forgive you if you +did that to me. + +EDWARD + +I shall do something much worse if you don’t keep still. + +MARGOT + +What about that cigarette? + +EDWARD + +Shut up. + +MARGOT + +All right. [_There is silence for a moment._] Is that one by the door new? + +EDWARD + +Yes, it’s the Fenwick girl—her mother’s convinced that she’s a wild +woodland type. + +MARGOT + +St. John’s Woodland. + +EDWARD + +I had a bit of a tussle with her. + +MARGOT + +I like it. + +EDWARD + +There now, you can relax. I shan’t do any more to-day. + + [_MARGOT rises quickly and strides about._] + +MARGOT + +I should loathe to be a professional model. + +EDWARD + +There are worse fates I believe. Would you like tea or cocktails or +anything? + +MARGOT + +I should like some tea now and a cocktail later on. + +EDWARD + +Are you going to stay a long time? + +MARGOT + +I told Bobbie to pick me up. + +EDWARD + + [_Ringing bell_] + +How is Bobbie? + +MARGOT + +Splendid. I’m still mad about him. + +EDWARD + +That’s right. + +MARGOT + +You don’t like him, do you? + +EDWARD + +I hardly know him. + +MARGOT + +He’s such a darling, and a great comfort to me. + +EDWARD + + [_Standing back and regarding his sketch_] + +I shall only need one more sitting. + +MARGOT + +I believe you disapprove of me and Bobbie. + +EDWARD + +Don’t be ridiculous. Why should I? + +MARGOT + +You must _never_ disapprove of things, Edward. It’s so second rate. + +EDWARD + +You don’t mean that a bit. + +MARGOT + +Yes, I do. + +EDWARD + +You secretly disapprove of the whole affair, yourself, really. That’s +why you always talk about it so much—to sort of brazen it out and put +yourself straight with yourself. + +MARGOT + +Edward, how _can_ you! Anyhow, why shouldn’t I talk about it. You all +know. Everybody knows. + +EDWARD + +Reticence as a national quality seems to be on the wane. + +MARGOT + +What a pompous remark! + +EDWARD + +Perhaps—but true. [_Enter BERRY._] Tea please, Berry. + +BERRY + +Very good, sir. + +MARGOT + +Lemon with mine, please, Berry. + +BERRY + +Yes, my lady. + + [_He goes out._] + +MARGOT + +You’re an awfully difficult person to know properly. + +EDWARD + +Am I? + +MARGOT + +You don’t give an inch, do you? + +EDWARD + +Why should I? + +MARGOT + +Oh, I don’t know. Confidences and discussions of everything make life so +much more amusing. + +EDWARD + +Modern society seems to demand intimacy all in a minute. You all lay bare +your private affairs to comparative strangers without a qualm. + +MARGOT + +Oh, Edward, dear, _we’re_ not strangers. + +EDWARD + +We met for the first time six months ago. + +MARGOT + +It seems _ever_ so much more. + +EDWARD + +You’d told me all about Jim and Bobbie and your exact feelings toward +each of them before we’d known each other a month. + +MARGOT + +It’s because you’re so sympathetic; you invite confidence. + +EDWARD + +Nonsense. + +MARGOT + +You’re being perfectly horrid to-day. Has anything happened to upset you? + +EDWARD + +No, I don’t think so. + +MARGOT + +Well I shan’t sit for you again unless you’re in a better temper. + +EDWARD + +Don’t be cross. + +MARGOT + +I’m not cross. I’m hurt. + +EDWARD + +I think perhaps I do feel a little nervy. + +MARGOT + +There now, I knew it. + + [_BERRY enters with tea._] + +EDWARD + +Here’s tea, anyhow. When Lord Romford calls, Berry, show him straight in, +will you? + +BERRY + +Yes, sir. + +EDWARD + +You’d better make some cocktails. + +BERRY + +Very well, sir. + + [_He goes out._] + +MARGOT + +Do you want lemon or milk? + +EDWARD + +Neither, thanks. Just plain unvarnished tea. + +MARGOT + +Is that Katherine Loring? [_Looking at picture._] + +EDWARD + +Yes, unfinished. + +MARGOT + +She always is unfinished. She has a negligible personality, I’m afraid. +Here you are. + + [_She hands him his tea._] + +EDWARD + +Thank you. + +MARGOT + +I hear Zoe’s back. + +EDWARD + +Yes, she rang me up this morning. + +MARGOT + +Where’s she been, exactly? + +EDWARD + +All over the place. + +MARGOT + +Who with? + +EDWARD + +By herself, I believe. + +MARGOT + +My dear, she must have been with _somebody_. She couldn’t have been all +alone after all that awful business. She’d have gone mad. + +EDWARD + +She’ll be here soon. You’ll be able to ask her about it. + +MARGOT + +You were engaged to her once, weren’t you? + +EDWARD + +Now then, Margot. + +MARGOT + +You were. I _know_ you were. Carol told me. + +EDWARD + +Well, as a matter of fact, we weren’t actually. We’ve been friends since +we were children and we did discuss marriage at one time, but without +great conviction. + +MARGOT + +I can’t understand why she let Kenneth divorce her. Everybody knows— + +EDWARD + +Zoe wished for her freedom and just went about getting it as quickly as +possible. + +MARGOT + +Well I don’t know how she could have faced it. I shouldn’t have dared— + +EDWARD + +You’re less independent than she is. + +MARGOT + +I believe you’re going to be horrid again. + + [_BERRY enters._] + +BERRY + + [_Announcing_] + +Lord Romford. + + [_BOBBIE ROMFORD enters. He is a nice-looking, meaningless young man._] + +BOBBIE + +Excuse my butting in like this, Churt. + + [_He and EDWARD shake hands._] + +EDWARD + +We were expecting you. The cocktails will be here in a moment. + +BOBBIE + +Hallo, Margot! How’s the picture going? + +MARGOT + +It’s nearly finished, but Edward won’t let me see it. He’s been +thoroughly soured up all the afternoon. + +EDWARD + +Margot has been trying to persuade me to brush my hair with her. + +BOBBIE + + [_Puzzled_] + +Brush your hair? + +EDWARD + +Yes, metaphorically speaking. + +BOBBIE + + [_Relieved_] + +Oh, I see. + +EDWARD + +Hair-brushing is a symbol of girlish confidences. Even the nicest people +do it. + +MARGOT + +Edward shuts up like a clam the moment I try to discuss anything in the +least interesting. Where have you been, Bobbie? + +BOBBIE + +Playing squash with Evie at the Bath Club. + +EDWARD + +Why didn’t you bring him along? + +BOBBIE + +He said he was coming on later. + +MARGOT + +I suppose he won. + +BOBBIE + +Yes; he always does. + + [_Enter BERRY with a tray of cocktails._] + +EDWARD + +Put them down here, Berry. [_He clears a space on the table._] Do you +want any more tea, Margot? + +MARGOT + +No thanks. + +EDWARD + +Take away the remains, then, Berry. + +BERRY + +Yes, sir. + + [_He piles the tea things up and takes them out._] + +BOBBIE + +I saw your wife in St. James’s Street, Churt. + +MARGOT + + [_Eagerly_] + +Who was she with? + +BOBBIE + +Harry Challoner. + +MARGOT + +I love Harry. Don’t you, Edward? + +EDWARD + +Passionately. + +MARGOT + +I expect they were going to Fanny’s. She’s got a mah-jong party. She +seems to imagine it’s a novelty. I ought to be there, really, but I just +felt I couldn’t bear it—all those hot scented women squabbling over the +scores. + +BOBBIE + +Do you mind if I take a cigarette, Churt? + +EDWARD + +Of course not. I’m so sorry. [_He hands the box._] Margot? + +MARGOT + +Thanks, Edward dear. + + [_BERRY enters._] + +BERRY + + [_Announcing_] + +Mrs. St. Merryn. + + [_ZOE ST. MERRYN enters. She is beautifully dressed and pleasantly + unexaggerated._] + +ZOE + +Edward! [_She takes both his hands._] I’m terribly excited at seeing you +again. + +EDWARD + +It’s grand, isn’t it, after a whole year. + +ZOE + +I’ve got so much to say I don’t know where to start. [_She sees MARGOT._] +Margot, this is lovely. How are you? + + [_They kiss._] + +MARGOT + +You look divine, darling. Do you know Bobbie? + +ZOE + + [_Shaking hands with him_] + +Bobbie who? + +MARGOT + +Romford, dear. + +ZOE + + [_With a swift glance at MARGOT._] + +Oh, yes, of course. I’ve heard of you. + +MARGOT + +_What_ have you heard? You must tell me. + +ZOE + +I can’t remember at the moment. Edward, give me a cigarette and a +cocktail and tell me all about everything. + +EDWARD + + [_Ministering to her_] + +Cigarette—cocktail—there. + +ZOE + +Thank you. Now then— + +EDWARD + +I don’t know where to start any better than you do. + +ZOE + +How’s Carol? + +EDWARD + +Awfully well. + +ZOE + +Where is she? + +EDWARD + +Out. She leads rather a hectic life I’m afraid—matinées, bridge, +mah-jong, dancing— + +ZOE + +You reel off those four harmless occupations as though they were the most +ignoble of human frailties. + +EDWARD + +I didn’t mean to, really. + +ZOE + +They’re wonderful _pis allers_ for people who don’t do things. + +EDWARD + +I don’t believe in _pis allers_. + +ZOE + +That’s not a virtue; it’s just part of your creative equipment. + +MARGOT + +I want to hear all about your travels, Zoe—where you’ve been and who +with. + +ZOE + + [_Laughing_] + +It’s difficult to remember accurately who I was with all the time. You +may rest assured that I had an endless succession of lovers, beginning +with an elderly mulatto in Honolulu and finishing with a retired matador +in Seville. + +EDWARD + +I hope you’re satisfied, Margot. + +MARGOT + +Don’t be so annoying, Zoe. I really am frightfully interested. + +ZOE + +You always are, darling, in other people’s affairs. + +MARGOT + +Naturally—they all sound so much more entertaining than my own. Did you +see Jim anywhere about in Spain? + +ZOE + +Yes, in Barcelona. He’d just come in from a yachting cruise. + +MARGOT + + [_Eagerly_] + +_Who_ was with him? _Do_ tell me! + +ZOE + +Nobody. I met him coming out of a bathroom at the Ritz. + +MARGOT + +Did he look more or less unattached? + +ZOE + +Yes. He seemed quite happy. + +EDWARD + +Margot’s interest in her husband is so maternal, it always makes me feel +as though I were in the presence of something sacred! + +MARGOT + +I’m awfully fond of Jim, really—particularly when he’s on a yachting +cruise. + +ZOE + +Are you definitely living apart now? + +MARGOT + +Oh yes—except for religious festivals like Easter and Christmas; then we +forgather and go down to Draycott with the children. + +EDWARD + + [_Smiling_] + +It seems a comfortable arrangement, doesn’t it? + +ZOE + +Frightfully. + +MARGOT + + [_Reflectively_] + +We _could_ get a divorce, I suppose, but it would make such dreary +complications. And then when you’re free there’s the awful danger of +starting the whole thing over again with some one else. + +ZOE + +I haven’t noticed it. + +MARGOT + +You will, I expect, dear—later on. [_She rises._] I’ve enjoyed my nice +cocktail very much, thank you, Edward. I must go now. Come and lunch on +Thursday, Zoe darling. I’ve only got Rebecca coming. She’ll adore seeing +you again. + +ZOE + +All right. One-thirty? + +MARGOT + +Yes. Come along, Bobbie. Good-by, Edward. Give my love to Carol. + +EDWARD + +I will. Good bye. + +BOBBIE + +Good bye. + +MARGOT + + [_At door_] + +You’ve come back from abroad a changed woman, Zoe, if _that’s_ any +comfort to you. + + [_She and BOBBIE go out._] + +ZOE + +What a sham Margot is, isn’t she? + +EDWARD + +Not really. Just a type. + +ZOE + +Yes, but she’s a type that couldn’t exist unless surrounded by false +values. + +EDWARD + +She’s making the best of a bad job. + +ZOE + +She’s letting everything slide—morals, dignity, and discretion. Thank +Heaven, I broke away. I might have got like that. + +EDWARD + +I wonder if breaking away _is_ such a very good plan. + +ZOE + +Of course it is. It’s the most regenerating thing in the world. + +EDWARD + +You’re so dashing, Zoe. Have another cigarette? + +ZOE + + [_Taking one_] + +Thanks. I feel almost panic-stricken, you know. + +EDWARD + +Why? + +ZOE + +Coming back anywhere is always such a dreadful anti-climax. + +EDWARD + +Not such an anti-climax as staying still. + +ZOE + +To think that all this used to be my life before I let Kenneth divorce me. + +EDWARD + +It’s pretty futile, isn’t it? + +ZOE + +Futile! I return after a year’s oblivion, thrilled and excited, longing +to see all my old friends, and what do I find? Clacking shallow +nonentities doing the same things, saying the same things, thinking the +same things. They’re stale. They seem to have lost all wit and charm, +and restraint—or perhaps they never had any. Oh dear! I’ve never felt so +depressed in my life. + +EDWARD + +I hope I haven’t let you down, too. + +ZOE + +No, Edward. You’re unchanged; a little dim, perhaps. + +EDWARD + +Dim? + +ZOE + +Yes. All your vitality seems to have been snuffed out by something. I +expect it’s success. That’s always frightfully undermining. + +EDWARD + +Yes, I suppose it is. + +ZOE + +Are you pleased with everything? + +EDWARD + +Naturally. + +ZOE + +I’m sorry. + +EDWARD + +Why? Oughtn’t I to be? + +ZOE + +You oughtn’t to pretend. + +EDWARD + +Pretend? + +ZOE + +Yes. You never used to—with me, anyhow. + +EDWARD + +One gets into the habit of accepting things at their surface value and +not looking any deeper. + +ZOE + +It’s a bad habit. + +EDWARD + +I must pretend. Don’t you see? + +ZOE + +No. + +EDWARD + +I’m successful—prosperous. I’ve got everything I wanted. + +ZOE + +You haven’t. You’ve merely got what other people think you wanted. + +EDWARD + + [_Smiling_] + +You’re wonderfully stimulating, Zoe—like a breath of Brighton air. + +ZOE + +You look as if you need stimulating, badly. + +EDWARD + +I do. + +ZOE + +I’m glad I came back now. + +EDWARD + +So am I. Devoutly glad. + +ZOE + +What’s wrong? + +EDWARD + +Lots of things. + +ZOE + +Carol? + +EDWARD + +Yes. + +ZOE + +I thought so. + +EDWARD + +You were right from the first. It’s been a dreary failure. + +ZOE + +I apologize. It’s so irritating being right. + +EDWARD + +It doesn’t irritate me in the least. With anyone else it would, perhaps. +But you’re different; you always have been. + +ZOE + +I know you better than most people. + +EDWARD + +I know you do. + +ZOE + +What has she been doing? + +EDWARD + +The obvious thing. + +ZOE + +I must say I consider marriage an overrated amusement. + +EDWARD + +I feel rather lost. + +ZOE + +Yes, I did, too—over Kenneth. It’s a nasty feeling. + +EDWARD + +It’s so difficult to know exactly the right attitude to adopt. + +ZOE + +Are you in love with her still? + +EDWARD + +I don’t know, really. Not violently like at first—that’s died down, +naturally—but somehow—things get an awful hold on you, don’t they? + +ZOE + +Yes, fortunately for the sanctity of home life. + +EDWARD + +But the hold ought to be mutual. + +ZOE + +Quite. + +EDWARD + +I have moments of fierce rage, you know; then it evaporates, leaving a +dead sort of a calm. + +ZOE + +How long have you known? + +EDWARD + +Ages, subconsciously; definitely, only a few weeks. + +ZOE + +Does she know you know? + +EDWARD + +She hasn’t the faintest suspicion. She’s always been marvelously +self-assured. + +ZOE + +She’s a lovely creature—governed entirely by sex. That’s why she’s +self-assured. + +EDWARD + +Will she always go on like this? + +ZOE + +I expect so. Anyhow, as long as she remains attractive—probably after. +That’s the penalty of her type. + +EDWARD + +It’s beastly, isn’t it? + +ZOE + +Yes, but quite inevitable, I’m afraid. You see she’s got no intellect to +provide ballast. + +EDWARD + +Poor Carol. + +ZOE + +I think you’re the one to be considered most at the present moment. + +EDWARD + +Do you think I ought to have a scene with her about it? I shrink from +that. It seems to double the humiliation. + +ZOE + +I honestly don’t know what to say. She’s been actually unfaithful to you? + +EDWARD + +Yes. + +ZOE + +Often? + +EDWARD + + [_Wearily_] + +I suppose so. Harry Challoner is in possession at present. + +ZOE + +Oh dear! How typical. + +EDWARD + +Everything of that sort is made so much easier for people nowadays. I +suppose it’s an aftermath of the war. + +ZOE + +It’s the obvious result of this “barriers down” phase through which we +seem to be passing. Everyone is at close quarters with everyone else. +There’s no more glamour. Everything’s indefinite and blurred except sex, +so people are instinctively turning to that with a rather jaded vigor. +It’s pathetic when you begin to analyze it. + +EDWARD + +What fools they all are! + +ZOE + + [_Half smiling_] + +Has being a success made you realize that? + +EDWARD + +Yes. There wasn’t time before. + +ZOE + +Why don’t you do what I did—go away? + +EDWARD + +It means sacrificing a good deal of work here in London. I’ve only just +got my foot in, really. + +ZOE + +Divorce? + +EDWARD + +I don’t feel equal to it at the moment—all the vile publicity, and the +lascivious curiosity leveled at Carol and me. It makes me shudder to +think of it. + +ZOE + +For a society portrait-painter you seem unduly sensitive. + +EDWARD + +If I felt vindictive toward Carol it would be so much easier. But I +don’t—I merely feel nauseated and frightfully, frightfully bored. + +ZOE + +The longer you allow it to drift, the worse it will become. + +EDWARD + +You think I ought to clinch it finally. + +ZOE + +Yes, I do. Once you’ve embarked you’ll feel better. + +EDWARD + +No, I shan’t. + +ZOE + +I believe you are still in love with her. + +EDWARD + +No; but I could be again if everything were all right. Oh, Zoe, I loathe +this age and everything to do with it. Men of my sort are the products of +over-civilization. All the red-blooded honest-to-God emotions have been +squeezed out of us. We’re incapable of hating enough or loving enough. +When any big moment comes along, good or bad, we hedge round it, arguing, +weighing it in the balance of reason and psychology, trying to readjust +the values until there’s nothing left and nothing achieved. I wish I were +primitive enough to thrash Carol and drive her out of my life forever—or +strong enough to hold her—but I’m not; I’m just an ass—an intelligent +spineless ass! + + [_He flings himself into a chair and takes a cigarette._] + +ZOE + +All the same, being the product of an Age equips you for grappling with +it. You’ve got more chance as you are than, say, Evie Bathurst, for +instance. + +EDWARD + +Evie goes straight for what he wants and gets it. + +ZOE + +He doesn’t demand as much as you. + +EDWARD + +He’s a damned sight happier. + +ZOE + +I should imagine he misses a good deal. + +EDWARD + +What does that matter? This situation could never happen to him. He +wouldn’t let it. + +ZOE + +You mustn’t place too much faith in the strong and silent, Edward. They +crumple up quicker than any of us when confronted with something outside +their very limited range. + +EDWARD + +You don’t like Evie, do you? + +ZOE + +You forget I’ve been married to one of his species. + +EDWARD + +Evie’s not a cad. + +ZOE + +How do you know? + +EDWARD + +He could never behave as foully as Kenneth. + +ZOE + +Kenneth was never anything but an honorable, clean-living Englishman. + +EDWARD + +He divorced you. + +ZOE + +Only because I made him. + +EDWARD + +Why didn’t he let you divorce him? + +ZOE + +It would have been bad for his military career. + +EDWARD + +You deliberately put yourself in the wrong. + +ZOE + +Yes. + +EDWARD + +And you really think it was worth while? + +ZOE + +Certainly I do. Our mutual boredom was verging on hatred—there was no +hope of getting back, ever. What’s the use of going on with a thing +that’s dead and done for? I decided to break free. + +EDWARD + +Is one really happier free? + +ZOE + +Don’t be fatuous, Edward darling. + +EDWARD + +I don’t think I have enough initiative to do anything definite like that. + +ZOE + +You don’t need much initiative. All you’ve got to do is wait for your +opportunity, and grab it! + + [_Enter BERRY._] + +BERRY + + [_Announcing_] + +Major Bathurst. + + [_Enter EVELYN BATHURST. He is tall, handsome, soldierly, and + essentially masculine. His gaze is frank and correct._] + + [_BERRY exits._] + +EVELYN + +Hullo, Edward! Zoe, I haven’t seen you for years. + + [_They shake hands._] + +ZOE + +How are you, Evie? + +EVELYN + +Splendid! I feel awfully guilty, though. I meant to have written and +sympathized over all your beastly divorce business. Will you forgive me? + +ZOE + +There’s nothing to forgive. It was all a howling success, anyway. + +EVELYN + +Success! Whew! You must have had the hell of a time! + +ZOE + +It was unpleasant but illuminating. + +EDWARD + +Want a cocktail, Evie? + +EVELYN + +No, thanks. + +EDWARD + +Cigarette? + +EVELYN + +Rather—yes. + + [_He takes one._] + +ZOE + +How was India? + +EVELYN + +I don’t know. I haven’t been there. + +ZOE + +I’m so sorry. I thought you had. + +EVELYN + +No. Morocco was quite warm enough for me. + +ZOE + +You arrived at an opportune moment. We were just discussing you. + +EVELYN + +Good God! What for? + +ZOE + +Edward was wishing he were more like you. + +EVELYN + +That’s uncommonly nice and right of him. Why this sudden burst of +inferiority, Edward? + +EDWARD + +It’s been brewing up for a long time. + +EVELYN + + [_Laughing_] + +Oh, well, we all come to our senses sooner or later. + +ZOE + +Not always, Evie. + +EVELYN + +My only quarrel with Edward is he doesn’t take enough exercise. + +EDWARD + +I’m not very good at exercise. + +EVELYN + +You never make any effort. Why don’t you come and play squash with me +sometimes? + +EDWARD + +That’s not exercise, it’s flagellation. + +EVELYN + +He’s looking a bit off color, don’t you think, Zoe? + +ZOE + +Only comparatively. + +EVELYN + +Been over-working, I suppose? + +EDWARD + +No, not really. + +ZOE + + [_Rising_] + +I must go now, Edward. + +EVELYN + +I shall take it as a personal affront if you leave the moment I arrive. + +ZOE + +No, you won’t, Evie. Good-by. + +EVELYN + + [_Shaking hands_] + +Come and have a bit of food sometime. + +ZOE + +I should love to. + +EVELYN + +Where are you staying? + +ZOE + +Claridges. + +EVELYN + +Right. I’ll call you up. + +ZOE + +Good-by, Edward. + +EDWARD + +Come again soon, please. + +ZOE + +Of course. Telephone me to-morrow morning. + +EDWARD + +I will. + +ZOE + +Give my love to Carol. + + [_EVELYN opens the door for her and she goes out. EDWARD stands looking + after her thoughtfully._] + +EVELYN + + [_Sitting down again_] + +Extraordinary woman Zoe. + +EDWARD + +Why extraordinary? + +EVELYN + +I don’t know. She’s so self-assured. + +EDWARD + + [_Absently_] + +Yes. I think she has every reason to be. + +EVELYN + +She faced all that divorce business very pluckily. Kenneth seems to have +behaved like a pretty average swine. + +EDWARD + +Yes. + +EVELYN + +Why on earth did she ever marry him? + +EDWARD + + [_Wearily_] + +Why does anyone ever marry anyone? + +EVELYN + +I’ve never felt the urge very strongly. I suppose I’ve seen too much of +it. + +EDWARD + +That doesn’t make any difference, really. + +EVELYN + +Women are so damned complicated to live with—specially Zoe’s sort. + +EDWARD + +I don’t think Zoe is particularly complicated. She’s always appeared to +me to be pretty clear-headed and direct. + +EVELYN + +Oh well, you know her better than I do. + +EDWARD + +You’re wonderfully single-minded, aren’t you? + +EVELYN + +Single-minded? + +EDWARD + +Yes. You live according to formulated codes, and you never try to look +either under or over them. I do envy you. + +EVELYN + +You needn’t. I have my ups and downs. + +EDWARD + +Do you, really? Ever since we were at school I’ve always regarded you as +being quite invulnerable. + +EVELYN + + [_Complacently_] + +Don’t be a fool, old man. + +EDWARD + +I suppose it’s a remnant of hero worship. + +EVELYN + +Rot! I’m a bit more balanced than you, that’s all. + +EDWARD + +That wouldn’t be very difficult. + +EVELYN + +I came here to-day with a purpose. I’m a bit worried. I want to talk to +you seriously. + +EDWARD + +What about? + +EVELYN + +Lots of things. + +EDWARD + +All right. Go on. + +EVELYN + +I don’t know how to start, quite; it’s difficult. + +EDWARD + +Why difficult? + +EVELYN + +Well, you’re a bit touchy at times, aren’t you? + +EDWARD + +What’s the matter, Evie? + +EVELYN + +Nothing actually yet—at least, I hope not. + +EDWARD + +I know what you’re driving at. + +EVELYN + +Do you? + +EDWARD + +Yes. + +EVELYN + +Are you sure you do? + +EDWARD + +People have been talking about Carol, I suppose. + +EVELYN + +Exactly. + +EDWARD + +Well, you needn’t worry. + +EVELYN + +I shouldn’t, ordinarily, but somehow in this case it’s different. + +EDWARD + +No, it isn’t; it’s exactly the same; it’s a situation that occurs over +and over again with everybody. That’s why it’s such a bore. + +EVELYN + +That’s a silly sort of attitude to take up. + +EDWARD + +No sillier than any other. + +EVELYN + +Aren’t you going to do anything? + +EDWARD + +O God! + + [_He turns away._] + +EVELYN + +Well, you’ll have to sooner or later. + +EDWARD + +What is there to do? + +EVELYN + +Read the riot act. + +EDWARD + +Do you seriously imagine that that’s in any way a final solution? + +EVELYN + +It ought to bring her to her senses a bit, if you did it with conviction. + +EDWARD + +That’s the trouble. I haven’t got a conviction. + +EVELYN + +Hang it all man, she is your wife! + +EDWARD + +I’m not a man of property. + +EVELYN + +How do you mean? + +EDWARD + +I mean I can’t look on Carol as a sort of American trunk. + +EVELYN + + [_Exasperated_] + +What _are_ you talking about? + +EDWARD + +She’s a human being, not an inanimate object over which I can assert +legal rights. + +EVELYN + +If all husbands adopted that tone, England would be in a nice state. + +EDWARD + +It _is_ in a nice state. + +EVELYN + +You make me tired sometimes, Edward. + +EDWARD + +I expect I do, but it can’t be helped. + +EVELYN + +Yes, it can. + +EDWARD + +How? + +EVELYN + +Pull yourself together; show a little spirit. + +EDWARD + +I suppose you think that if I grabbed Carol by the hair of the head +and banged her about and hurled abuse at her, she’d fall at my feet in +ecstasies of adoration? + +EVELYN + +I shouldn’t be surprised. Anyhow, it probably would do her good. + +EDWARD + +For an upstanding British soldier you have an astounding sense of the +theater. + +EVELYN + +Oh, you can think me a red-blooded savage if you like, but I’m damned if +I’d sit down quietly and let my wife make a fool of me. + +EDWARD + + [_Gently_] + +You haven’t got a wife, Evie. If you had you’d probably be utterly +vanquished quicker than anyone. + +EVELYN + +Not me. I know the game too well. + +EDWARD + +Only from looking on, though. That makes an enormous difference. + +EVELYN + +Look here, Edward. Why not be sensible about all this? + +EDWARD + +I am, really. + +EVELYN + +Nonsense! + +EDWARD + +It’s no use, Evie. Things will have to take their course. + +EVELYN + + [_Contemptuously_] + +Line of least resistance, eh? + +EDWARD + +Yes. + +EVELYN + +To hell with the line of least resistance. + +EDWARD + +She can’t help herself; she’s made like that. + +EVELYN + +Rubbish! + +EDWARD + +It isn’t rubbish. She’s the sort of woman who must attract people all the +time. One conquest isn’t enough; she must go on and on. + +EVELYN + +You talk as though she were only just flirting about for the fun of the +thing. + +EDWARD + +Perhaps she is. + +EVELYN + +What’s the use of blinding yourself? + +EDWARD + +Oh, shut up, Evie! + +EVELYN + +This is more serious than you think. + +EDWARD + +No, it isn’t. + +EVELYN + +What do you feel—honestly? + +EDWARD + +I’ve told you—bored. + +EVELYN + +That’s not true. + +EDWARD + +All right. + +EVELYN + +I know it isn’t. We haven’t been pals all these years for nothing. You +can’t deceive me as easily as that. + +EDWARD + +What do you want me to feel, exactly? + +EVELYN + +You’ve got to _do_ something. + +EDWARD + +What? + +EVELYN + +If you don’t, I shall. + +EDWARD + +Evie, if you mention one word of all this to Carol or anyone in the +world, I’ll never forgive you. + +EVELYN + +You needn’t worry. I’ve got a better plan than talking. + +EDWARD + +What is it? + +EVELYN + +Leave it to me. + +EDWARD + +Evie— + +EVELYN + +She ought to be taught a lesson. + +EDWARD + +What sort of lesson? + +EVELYN + +She wants some of the self-assurance knocked out of her. + +EDWARD + + [_Smiling_] + +Really, Evie! + +EVELYN + +She needs humiliating. + +EDWARD + +You’re positively vindictive. + +EVELYN + +Perhaps I am, but it’s for your sake. + +EDWARD + +I’d no idea you disliked Carol so heartily. + +EVELYN + +It isn’t that at all. I don’t like or dislike her. She never pays +attention to me, anyhow. + +EDWARD + +To think that there’s even a streak of feminine in you! + +EVELYN + +What do you mean? + +EDWARD + +Never mind. + +EVELYN + +I won’t stand by and see you let down all along the line. + +EDWARD + +It’s awfully sweet of you, Evie, to be so cross, but you really mustn’t +be. I’m the one to get cross if necessary. + +EVELYN + +It is necessary. + +EDWARD + +You must allow me to be the best judge of that. + +EVELYN + +Now look here, Edward— + +EDWARD + +Remember what I said—you’re not to interfere. It’s my affair, and mine +alone. + +EVELYN + +I know a good deal more about women than you. + +EDWARD + +Do you, Evie? + +EVELYN + +I’ve handled too many of them not to. + +EDWARD + +How mechanical that sounds. + + [_He laughs._] + +EVELYN + +Oh, you’re hopeless. + + [_The door opens and CAROL comes in. She is, as usual, looking + delightful._] + +CAROL + +Hallo, Evie! [_She shakes hands with him._] Are there any telephone +messages for me, Edward? + +EDWARD + +No. + +CAROL + + [_Taking off her gloves_] + +I’m quite exhausted. + +EDWARD + +Where have you been? + +CAROL + +Playing mah-jong with Fanny, I won a good deal. + +EVELYN + +Splendid. + +CAROL + +How’s Margot’s picture going? + +EDWARD + +It’s nearly finished. + +CAROL + +Give me a cigarette, Evie. + +EVELYN + + [_Handing her a cigarette_] + +You look remarkably fit, Carol. + +CAROL + + [_Smiling_] + +I am fit, but I’m a tiny bit worried over Edward. + +EVELYN + +Why, he looks all right to me. + +CAROL + +You don’t know him like I do. I can always tell when he’s tired and +overworked, can’t I, darling? + +EDWARD + +Yes, I’m sure you can. + +CAROL + +It’s all these people buzzing round him all day. Let’s go away, Edward, +and have a real holiday—somewhere quiet. + +EVELYN + +That’s a damned good idea. + +EDWARD + + [_Smiling_] + +I can’t—for the next six weeks, anyhow. + +CAROL + + [_With a slight shrug_] + +There you see? It’s quite impossible to do anything with him. + +EVELYN + +Why don’t you chuck everything, and just go? + +EDWARD + +Funnily enough, Zoe suggested that this afternoon. + +CAROL + +Zoe? I didn’t know she was back. + +EDWARD + +She arrived yesterday. + +CAROL + +Why didn’t you tell me? + +EDWARD + +I didn’t know until this morning. She rang me up. + +CAROL + +Well, she didn’t lose much time anyhow. + +EDWARD + +I don’t see why she should. + +CAROL + +I suppose she talked and talked and talked as usual. + +EDWARD + +Yes, we both talked a good bit. + +CAROL + +What about? + +EDWARD + +Everything. + +CAROL + +No wonder you look tired. + +EVELYN + +She looked awfully well. + +CAROL + +She always does. She’s wonderfully healthy. + +EDWARD + + [_With faint malice_] + +She sent you her love. + +CAROL + + [_Bored_] + +Oh—give her mine when she rings up again. + +EDWARD + +You’ll see her to-night at the Harringtons’. + +CAROL + +No, I shan’t. I’m not going. They’re going to have that awful string +quartette again. I suffered so acutely last time. + +EDWARD + +I shall go by myself, then. + +CAROL + +Never mind. You’ll be able to talk to Zoe. + +EDWARD + +Where are you dining? + +CAROL + +With the Challoners at the Embassy; then we’re going on somewhere. + +EDWARD + +Do you want the car? + +CAROL + +No. They’re picking me up. + +EDWARD + +Right. I’ll go and dress. Don’t go, Evie. We might have a slight aperitif +at one of your disreputable clubs before dinner. + +CAROL + +Are you dining together? + +EDWARD + +No. I’m going to the Russian Ballet with Richard and Sheila. They’ve got +a box or something. + + [_EDWARD goes off into his bedroom._] + +EVELYN + +You’re looking charming, Carol. + +CAROL + + [_Raising her eyebrows_] + +Thank you. + +EVELYN + +That’s a splendid hat. Is it new? + +CAROL + +No—incredibly old. + +EVELYN + +Well, it doesn’t look it. + +CAROL + +I’m glad. + + [_She goes toward the door._] + +EVELYN + +Carol— + +CAROL + + [_Turning_] + +Yes? + +EVELYN + +Nothing. + +CAROL + + [_Surprised_] + +Is there anything the matter? + +EVELYN + +No—honestly it’s nothing. + +CAROL + +Oh well, I must go and dress, too. See you later on. + +EVELYN + +I shall be gone when you come down. + +CAROL + +Really, Evie, you’re behaving very strangely. + +EVELYN + +Why? + +CAROL + +I don’t know. You seem different, somehow. + +EVELYN + +Won’t you stay and talk for a moment. I haven’t seen you to speak to for +ages. + +CAROL + +That’s your fault. + +EVELYN + +You’re always so engaged. + +CAROL + +I never seem to have a minute for anything. I _do_ wish life wasn’t so +hectic. + +EVELYN + +Why do you let it be? + +CAROL + +I don’t. It just happens like that. + +EVELYN + +I’d resent it a good deal if you were my wife. + +CAROL + + [_Smiling_] + +Aren’t you glad I’m not, Evie? + +EVELYN + +I don’t know. + +CAROL + + [_Surprised_] + +Well, now! I thought you disliked me thoroughly! + +EVELYN + +Disliked you? + +CAROL + +Yes. You always have such a polite preoccupied air with me. It makes me +feel terribly frivolous and shallow. + +EVELYN + +How can you, Carol? + +CAROL + + [_Gayly_] + +It’s true. You’re the kind of man who despises women dreadfully—I know +you are. + +EVELYN + +You’re quite wrong. I adore them. + +CAROL + +Well, that’s a lovely surprise, isn’t it? + +EVELYN + +I can’t get over you imagining that I disliked you. + +CAROL + +I expect it’s because you’re so tremendously fond of Edward. One always +feels that with one’s husband’s friends. + +EVELYN + +I don’t see any reason, just because I like Edward, that—— + +CAROL + +Don’t you, Evie? + +EVELYN + +Of course not. + +CAROL + +Well, I’m very, very glad. + +EVELYN + +That’s settled, then, isn’t it? + +CAROL + +Quite. I shan’t be frightened of you any more. + +EVELYN + +Frightened of me! How ridiculous! + +CAROL + +It isn’t ridiculous; it’s quite natural. + +EVELYN + +I don’t see why. I’m perfectly harmless. + +CAROL + +Are you? + +EVELYN + +Mild as a kitten. + +CAROL + +I wonder. + +EVELYN + +To think you’ve been building up the most frightful image of me in your +mind all this time and I never knew. + +CAROL + +You can’t blame me, really. + +EVELYN + +Yes, I can. It’s awfully suspicious and distrustful of you. + +CAROL + +It’s your own fault, for holding so aloof. + +EVELYN + +I don’t hold aloof a bit. + +CAROL + +You’ve never talked anything but commonplaces to me ever since I’ve known +you. + +EVELYN + +You never gave me the chance. + +CAROL + +What did you expect me to do? + +EVELYN + +I don’t know. Just be nice. + +CAROL + +Haven’t I been nice? I’m so sorry. + +EVELYN + +Yes, I suppose you have, really, but I’ve always felt you thought me +rather dull. + +CAROL + +You have been—up to now. + +EVELYN + + [_Despondently_] + +There you are, then! + +CAROL + + [_Quietly_] + +I said “up to now.” + +EVELYN + +Men of my sort are all wrong in society. We don’t seem to fit in, somehow. + +CAROL + +Are you glad or sorry? + +EVELYN + +Well, to be frank, I’m glad, until moments like this crop up. + +CAROL + +You’re awfully funny, you know. + +EVELYN + +Funny? + +CAROL + +Yes. You do despise women, after all. + +EVELYN + +How do you mean? + +CAROL + +You think we only like men who play up and talk well and dance well. + +EVELYN + +It’s only natural that you should. + +CAROL + +Oh no, it isn’t. + +EVELYN + +You think there’s some hope for me, after all, then? + +CAROL + +Now you’re fishing. + +EVELYN + +It’s cruel of you to snap me up like that. + +CAROL + +I’m sorry, Evie. + +EVELYN + +You’d find me a fearful bore after a bit, you know. + +CAROL + +Why should I? + +EVELYN + +I take things so damned seriously. + +CAROL + +That’s refreshing! Most of the men I know don’t take things seriously +enough. + +EVELYN + +What an extraordinary woman you are! + +CAROL + +Why extraordinary? + +EVELYN + +Making me talk like this. I never have before. + +CAROL + +I shall take that as a compliment, whether you like it or not. + +EVELYN + +I mean it. + +CAROL + +Yes, I know you do. + +EVELYN + +I see now why your life’s so hectic and why everyone runs after you so +much. + +CAROL + + [_Smiling_] + +Why? + +EVELYN + +You’ve got the most amazing knack of drawing people out. + +CAROL + +Not always. Only people I like. + +EVELYN + +You’ve made me feel lonely for the first time in my life. + +CAROL + +How hateful of me! + +EVELYN + +It’s not your fault; it’s mine. + +CAROL + +In what way? + +EVELYN + +I ought to make more efforts and not be so boorish. + +CAROL + +You’re not in the least boorish. + +EVELYN + +Yes, I am—utterly wrapped up in my own affairs, then suddenly some one +like you comes along and makes me realize all in a minute what a lot I’m +missing. + +CAROL + +You’re not missing much, really. It’s much better to remain yourself than +try to be something you’re not. + +EVELYN + +It’s awfully sweet of you to say that. + +CAROL + +I mean it honestly. You never can guess how tired I get by having the +same sort of things said to me always. + +EVELYN + +Do you really? + +CAROL + +Of course. + +EVELYN + +I wish you weren’t dining out to-night. + +CAROL + +Why? + +EVELYN + +I’d like better than anything in the world for you to come and dine with +me quietly. + +CAROL + +I’d adore to, Evie, but, you see— + +EVELYN + +Oh, I know you can’t possibly; but it seems hard that the moment I begin +to get to know you properly you’re whisked out of sight again. + +CAROL + + [_Gently_] + +There are lots of other nights. + +EVELYN + +Yes, I suppose there are. + +CAROL + +I’m certainly not frightened of you any more now—you’re an absolute baby. + +EVELYN + +Crying for the moon? + +CAROL + +I don’t rate myself quite so high as that. + +EVELYN + +You’re just as unattainable. + +CAROL + +Evie! + +EVELYN + +I’m sorry. I oughtn’t to have said that. + +CAROL + + [_After a slight pause_] + +I don’t mind. + +EVELYN + +You are a dear. + +CAROL + +Am I? + +EVELYN + +May I ring you up to-morrow morning? + +CAROL + +Of course. + +EVELYN + +And perhaps—some time soon—? + +CAROL + + [_With determination_] + +I’ll dine with you to-night, Evie. + +EVELYN + +Carol! + +CAROL + +Yes. I can put off the Challoners. They bore me stiff, anyway. I’d much +rather talk to you. + +EVELYN + +I say, it’s most terribly sweet of you to take pity on me like this. + +CAROL + +Don’t be silly. It’ll be a mutual benefit. I’m bored and you’re bored. +Where shall we dine? + +EVELYN + +Anywhere you choose. + +CAROL + +The awful thing is I simply daren’t go anywhere where I’m likely to be +seen. + +EVELYN + +We could dine at the flat if you like, but it will be fearfully dull. + +CAROL + +Oh, _let’s_ do that. And we can creep out somewhere afterward if we feel +like it. + +EVELYN + +Are you sure that’s all right? + +CAROL + +Positive. It will be divine being quiet for once. + +EVELYN + +Don’t say anything to Edward. + +CAROL + + [_Quickly_] + +Why not? + +EVELYN + +Well, I got out of dining with him to-night. I wanted to be by myself, +you see. + +CAROL + +Well, you’re not going to be now. + +EVELYN + +I know. Isn’t it damnable? + +CAROL + +Beastly. Will you fetch me? + +EVELYN + +Yes. What time? + +CAROL + +Latish—about nine. + +EVELYN + +Splendid— + + [_Enter EDWARD in evening dress._] + +CAROL + +You have been quick. + +EDWARD + +I’ve hurried. I know how impatient Evie is. Are you quite determined +about the Harringtons, Carol? + +CAROL + +_Quite!_ I simply couldn’t bear it. + +EDWARD + +Oh, all right, then. I’ll apologize for you. + +CAROL + +Do, there’s a dear. Good-by, Evie. Come and see me again soon. + +EVELYN + +Thanks. I will. + +EDWARD + +Come on. I haven’t got much time. Good-night, Carol. + +CAROL + +Good-night, darling. + + [_EDWARD and EVELYN go off. CAROL lights a cigarette and goes to the + telephone._] + +CAROL + + [_At telephone_] + +Mayfair 7,065 please.... Yes. [_A pause_] Hallo! Is that you, Fay.... +Yes. Can I speak to Harry? Oh yes, rather. I’ll hold on.... Harry.... +Yes, it’s me. Look here, I can’t dine to-night, because I can’t, I feel +too tired. I may not have looked tired this afternoon, but I tell you +I am now.... Don’t be so annoying, Harry.... No, it isn’t that at all. +I’m going to dine in bed.... No, don’t. I shall probably be asleep.... +Well, of course, if you’re going to talk like that.... I’m afraid you’re +developing into a bore, Harry. I’m _so_ sorry! [_She bangs down the +receiver._] Silly fool! + + [_She picks up her bag and gloves and goes off._] + + CURTAIN + + + + +“THIS WAS A MAN” + +Act Two + + + + +ACT II + + +_The scene is EVELYN BATHURST’S flat. It is a manly apartment, furnished +with precision but no imagination. There is a door up left opening into a +small hall and thence to the front door. Up right is EVIE’S bedroom and +down left a service door. Between these two is the fireplace, in front of +which is a large sofa and a couple of armchairs. The windows occupy the +right wall. The table, center, is laid for two._ + + [_When the curtain rises, it is about 9.15 p.m. and BLACKWELL is + putting the finishing touches, which consist of a bowl of roses + and a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket. He is regarding his + handiwork pensively when there comes the sound of a key in the + front door. After a moment EVELYN and CAROL enter. EVELYN is + wearing a dinner jacket; CAROL, an elaborately simple dinner + dress and cloak._] + +CAROL + +What a nice flat! + +EVELYN + +I’ve been here for years. + +CAROL + +It’s all quite typical of you. + +EVELYN + +How do you know? + +CAROL + +Well, don’t you think it is? + +EVELYN + +I’ve never thought about it much. + +CAROL + +Solid and rather austere. + +EVELYN + +That sounds beastly. + +CAROL + +No. I like it. + +EVELYN + +I’m glad. Let me take your cloak. [_He takes her cloak and lays it over a +chair._] Cocktails please, Blackwell. + +BLACKWELL + +Yes, sir. + + [_He goes off._] + +CAROL + +I suppose he’s been with you as long as the flat? + +EVELYN + +Longer, really; he was my batman when I was a raw subaltern. + +CAROL + + [_Smiling_] + +You must have been rather nice as a subaltern. + +EVELYN + +Oh no, I wasn’t. You ask Edward. + +CAROL + +Edward adores you. + +EVELYN + +We’re very old friends. + +CAROL + +It’s always puzzled me. You’re so very different from each other. + +EVELYN + +Edward’s a damn sight cleverer. + +CAROL + +Now then— + +EVELYN + +But he is. + +CAROL + +You seem to have done very well at your job and you’re always winning +things. + +EVELYN + +I haven’t done anything. + +CAROL + +Nonsense. [_She wanders round the room, looking at photographs._] Who’s +this? + +EVELYN + +Mary Liddle. I was engaged to her once. + +CAROL + +Oh, I see. + +EVELYN + +I suppose you want to know why nothing ever came of it. + +CAROL + +Of course. + +EVELYN + +She ran off with some one she hardly knew. + +CAROL + +What a shame! + +EVELYN + +I expect I bored her stiff— + +CAROL + +Were you very much in love with her? + +EVELYN + +Yes. I think I was. + +CAROL + +I can’t imagine you in love. + +EVELYN + +It doesn’t happen often. + +CAROL + + [_Smiling and patting his arm_] + +Never mind, Evie. + +EVELYN + +I don’t. It’s a relief really. + + [_BLACKWELL enters with the cocktails; they both take them._] + +EVELYN + +Dinner please, Blackwell. + +BLACKWELL + +Very good, sir. + + [_He goes out._] + +CAROL + + [_At another photograph_] + +Is this your mother? + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +CAROL + +You’re awfully like her. + +EVELYN + +It’s the nose, I think. + +CAROL + +And the chin—so firm and unrelenting. I love firm chins. + +EVELYN + +They’re awfully deceptive. + +CAROL + + [_Sipping her cocktail_] + +Are they, Evie? + +EVELYN + +Yes. I’m as weak as water, really. + +CAROL + +You’ll have to prove it to me before I believe it. + +EVELYN + +I’d rather not. + + [_BLACKWELL enters with caviare._] + +EVELYN + +Come and sit down. + +CAROL + + [_Sitting at table_] + +What divine roses! + +EVELYN + +They’re in your honor. + +CAROL + +Thank you. I hoped they were. + + [_BLACKWELL helps her to caviare._] + +EVELYN + + [_Opening champagne_] + +I feel awfully flattered at your being here. + +CAROL + +Why should you? + +EVELYN + +I just do. + +CAROL + +Don’t be silly. [_He fills her glass and his own._] Thanks. + +EVELYN + +I feel flattered because it’s something I never thought possible. + +CAROL + +Me dining with you? + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +CAROL + +Idiot. + + [_She smiles._] + +EVELYN + +I’ve always seen you as a frightfully dazzling creature—always in +demand—always rushing about. + +CAROL + +Just because you feel flattered yourself, you mustn’t begin to flatter me. + +EVELYN + +Is that flattery? + +CAROL + +Isn’t it? + +EVELYN + +Well yes, and no. + +CAROL + +You mean you’ve never quite approved of me. + +EVELYN + +I didn’t say that. + +CAROL + +I believe it’s true, all the same. + +EVELYN + +I’ve wondered a bit what you were really like. + +CAROL + + [_With subtle pathos_] + +I don’t think I know, myself. + +EVELYN + +You haven’t had much time to think, have you? + +CAROL + +No—I suppose not. + +EVELYN + + [_Sententiously_] + +We’re all so different underneath. + +CAROL + + [_Laughing_] + +Oh, Evie! + +EVELYN + +What? + +CAROL + +You’re awfully serious. + +EVELYN + +Don’t laugh at me. + +CAROL + +I wasn’t. + +EVELYN + +I don’t mind, really; it shows that you’re enjoying yourself. + +CAROL + +I am thoroughly. + +EVELYN + +I was terrified that you’d be bored. + +CAROL + +You’re fishing again. + +EVELYN + +I wish you weren’t so quick; it embarrasses me. + + [_He laughs._] + +CAROL + +I’ll try to be slower. + + [_She laughs too._] + +EVELYN + +I’m the plodding sort, you know—gets there in the end, but takes a long +time about it. + +CAROL + +Nonsense! + +EVELYN + +The British army doesn’t specialize in wit. + +CAROL + +I won’t hear a word against the British army. + +EVELYN + + [_With jocularity_] + +Hurrah! + + [_They both laugh._] + +CAROL + +You’re like a schoolboy. + +EVELYN + +I feel one with you. + +CAROL + +Do I look so terribly old? + +EVELYN + +You know I didn’t mean that. + +CAROL + +I’ll let you off this time, but you mustn’t do it again. + + [_BLACKWELL enters with the soup; he takes away the caviare plates._] + +EVELYN + +How long is it since you dined quietly like this? + +CAROL + +Oh, ages. + +EVELYN + +I thought so. + +CAROL + +You’re looking disapproving again. + + [_BLACKWELL serves the soup and exits._] + +EVELYN + +I think I’m envious. + +CAROL + +Envious? + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +CAROL + +No, you’re not, really. + +EVELYN + +Your life would never suit me, I know, but somehow it does sound rather +fun, for a change. + +CAROL + +Let’s make a bargain. + +EVELYN + +I know what you’re going to say. + +CAROL + +Change over for a bit. + +EVELYN + +Temptress. + +CAROL + +You come out to a few theaters and parties with me— + +EVELYN + +I can’t dance well enough. + +CAROL + +I’ll soon teach you. + +EVELYN + +I’d drive you mad. + +CAROL + +Have you a gramophone here? + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +CAROL + +We’ll start after dinner. + +EVELYN + +All right. + +CAROL + +And whenever I’m tired and sick of everything, I’ll come here and dine +quietly like this. + +EVELYN + +Will you, honestly? + +CAROL + +Of course, if you stick to your side of the compact. + +EVELYN + +I don’t believe you’ll have the patience to carry it through. + +CAROL + +You must despise me. + +EVELYN + +Despise you? Good Heavens! Why? + +CAROL + +You’re so untrusting. + +EVELYN + +No, I’m not; but it does look as though I were going to get more out of +this than you. + +CAROL + +Not at all. It’s a perfectly fair exchange. You’ve no idea how utterly +weary I get every now and then. + +EVELYN + +Poor Carol. + +CAROL + +This is peace, absolute peace, and I’m tremendously grateful to you for +it. + + [_They look at each other in silence for a moment. EVELYN’S expression + is faintly nonplused._] + +EVELYN + +The compact’s on. + +CAROL + +Good! Shake hands. + +EVELYN + +Right you are. + + [_They shake hands across the table. CAROL allows hers to remain in + his a shade more than is strictly necessary._] + +CAROL + +Do you want to come to the first night of “Round Pegs” on Thursday? + +EVELYN + +What on earth’s that? + +CAROL + +A new play by Burton Trask. + +EVELYN + +Who’s he? + +CAROL + + [_Laughing_] + +Oh, Evie! + +EVELYN + +Well, how should I know? + +CAROL + +He’s only the most talked of dramatist we’ve got. + +EVELYN + +Sorry. + +CAROL + +He wrote “The Sinful Spinster.” + +EVELYN + +Oh, the play all the fuss was about last year. + +CAROL + +Yes. + +EVELYN + +It sounded pretty hot stuff. + +CAROL + +It wasn’t, really, but the woman in it fell in love with a man younger +than herself and the Church of England didn’t like it. + +EVELYN + +Oh, I see! + +CAROL + +You need educating badly. + +EVELYN + +I’m afraid I do. + + [_BLACKWELL enters and takes away their soup plates._] + +CAROL + +Wasn’t it funny us talking this afternoon and you asking me to dine all +in a minute? + +EVELYN + +Awfully funny, but very lucky for me. + +CAROL + +You make me feel shy when you say things like that. It was just as lucky +for me. + +EVELYN + + [_With intensity_] + +Was it, honestly? + +CAROL + + [_Looking down_] + +Of course. + + [_BLACKWELL enters with partridges and attendant vegetables. He serves + them during the ensuing dialogue._] + +EVELYN + +Edward’s looking awfully tired these days. + +CAROL + + [_Absently_] + +Is he? I haven’t noticed it. + +EVELYN + +Why, you said so yourself this afternoon. + +CAROL + +So I did. I remember he looked very wan when I came in. By the way, what +were you two discussing so intently. I felt as though I were interrupting +a Masonic meeting. + +EVELYN + +Nothing particular. + +CAROL + +Me, by any chance? + +EVELYN + +Good Heavens, no! + +CAROL + +There’s no need to be so vehement about it; it wouldn’t have mattered if +you had been. + +EVELYN + +Have some more champagne. + +CAROL + +Thanks—just a little. + + [_She holds out her glass and he fills it, also his own._] + +EVELYN + + [_With great boldness_] + +Why did you think we were talking about you? + +CAROL + +You both looked so guilty. + +EVELYN + +Surely that proves we weren’t. + +CAROL + +Very good, Evie. + +EVELYN + +You’re embarrassing me dreadfully. + +CAROL + +Am I? Why? + +EVELYN + +Because we _were_ discussing you. + +CAROL + +Ah! + +EVELYN + +I see it’s useless to try and deceive you for moment. + +CAROL + +What were you saying? + +EVELYN + +Must I tell you? + +CAROL + +Certainly. + +EVELYN + +You’re terribly unrelenting. + +CAROL + +Come on—out with it. + +EVELYN + +I was lecturing Edward. + + [_BLACKWELL goes out._] + +CAROL + +Lecturing him? + +EVELYN + +Yes. I said he was paying too much attention to his work and not enough +to you. + +CAROL + +And do you think that’s true? + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +CAROL + +It isn’t; it’s the other way round, really. I neglect Edward. You should +have saved your lecture for me. + +EVELYN + +I’m sure it’s his fault, really, he’s so damned lackadaisical. + +CAROL + +It was nice of you, but a little interfering. + +EVELYN + +I’m sorry. I suppose I deserve to be snubbed. + +CAROL + +I’m not snubbing you, exactly, but I’m puzzled. + +EVELYN + +Why puzzled? + +CAROL + +It seems so strange that you should have taken up the cudgels on my side. + +EVELYN + +That was how I saw the situation. + +CAROL + +I never realized there was a situation. + +EVELYN + +There isn’t, but there may be soon. + +CAROL + +How horrid of you! + +EVELYN + +I know Edward pretty well, you know. + +CAROL + +And me hardly at all. + +EVELYN + +Exactly. That’s why I went to him, as I told you this afternoon. I always +felt that you disliked me and thought me dull. + +CAROL + +How absurd! + +EVELYN + +You did, all the same. You’d have crushed me to the earth if I’d dared +mention the subject to you. + +CAROL + +You must have thought me a prig. + +EVELYN + +Not in the least. I quite saw your point. + +CAROL + +And now—? + +EVELYN + +Now I’m muddled. + +CAROL + +Have I muddled you, Evie? + +EVELYN + +Yes, terribly. + +CAROL + +I’m so glad. + +EVELYN + +That’s malicious of you. + +CAROL + +Go ahead with your lecture. + +EVELYN + +Certainly not. + +CAROL + +Whose fault do you consider this slight drifting apart—Edward’s or mine? + +EVELYN + +Edward’s. + +CAROL + +I told you it was mine. + +EVELYN + +I don’t believe you. + +CAROL + +Stubborn. + +EVELYN + +Is it yours? + +CAROL + +Yes. + +EVELYN + +Why? + +CAROL + + [_Seriously_] + +Oh, Evie— + +EVELYN + +Tell me. + +CAROL + +It’s rather difficult. + +EVELYN + +I’m awfully sympathetic. + +CAROL + +I believe you are. + +EVELYN + +You love him still, don’t you? + +CAROL + +Yes—in a way. + +EVELYN + +But not so much as you did? + +CAROL + +Not quite so much. + +EVELYN + +I suppose that’s inevitable in married life, always. + +CAROL + +I expect it is. + +EVELYN + +It’s sad, though. + +CAROL + +Not if one isn’t sentimental about it. + +EVELYN + +Are you ever sentimental about anything? + +CAROL + + [_Wistfully_] + +Do I seem so hard? + +EVELYN + +A little, I think. + +CAROL + +I’m not, really. + +EVELYN + +I’m afraid Edward’s unhappy. + +CAROL + +Not deep down inside. + +EVELYN + +Are you sure? + +CAROL + +He may think he is. + +EVELYN + +Poor Edward. + +CAROL + +He doesn’t love me quite so much, either, you know. + +EVELYN + +Perhaps he wants to, but you won’t let him. + +CAROL + +Evie, why are we talking like this? + +EVELYN + +I don’t know. + +CAROL + +I can’t bear to pretend about things. + +EVELYN + +You’re quite right; it doesn’t pay in the long run. + +CAROL + +But I don’t want you to blame Edward and lecture him for something that’s +not entirely his fault. + +EVELYN + +I see. + +CAROL + +I’m awfully fond of him and I always shall be, but— + +EVELYN + +But what? + +CAROL + +Don’t let’s say any more about it. + +EVELYN + +All right. You’re rather a dear, you know. + +CAROL + +Am I? + +EVELYN + +More than I ever suspected! + +CAROL + +Oh, Evie! + + [_They look at each other for a moment, EVELYN intently, CAROL with a + faintly wistful smile. BLACKWELL enters to collect the plates and + serve the sweet—pêche Melba—which he does during ensuing dialogue._] + +EVELYN + +You don’t like Zoe St. Merryn, do you? + +CAROL + +Why do you suddenly ask that? + +EVELYN + +I felt you didn’t this afternoon. + +CAROL + +She’s rather obvious, I think. + +EVELYN + +In what way? + +CAROL + +She tries to be clever. + +EVELYN + +I always thought she was clever. + +CAROL + +Yes, most men do, but very few women. + +EVELYN + +Why is that? + +CAROL + +Because they see through her. All that divorce business was a put-up job. + +EVELYN + +I say, Carol! + +CAROL + +Don’t look so shocked. Of course it was. She’s been so brave and defiant +over it. Men love that. + +EVELYN + +Aren’t you being a little hard on her? + +CAROL + +No, not really. I know her type so well. + +EVELYN + +She’s an old friend of Edward’s, isn’t she? + +CAROL + +Yes, but that hasn’t anything to do with it. She tried to marry him once. + +EVELYN + +He seems very fond of her. + +CAROL + +She flatters him terribly. He’s an awful baby. + +EVELYN + +Thank Heaven I haven’t got your feminine intuition. It must complicate +life dreadfully. + +CAROL + +It’s very useful sometimes. + +EVELYN + +Do you size everyone up so mercilessly. + +CAROL + + [_Laughing_] + +Perhaps. + +EVELYN + +I’m trembling visibly. + +CAROL + +Nonsense! You’re not frightened by anything, really. + +EVELYN + +You don’t know! + + [_BLACKWELL goes out._] + +CAROL + +Well, you shouldn’t be, anyhow. + +EVELYN + +That’s different. + +CAROL + +Why did you ask me not to tell Edward I was dining with you? + +EVELYN + + [_Nonplused_] + +Did I? + +CAROL + +You know you did. + +EVELYN + +Perhaps I was afraid he’d think I was interfering again. + +CAROL + +Did he tell you that, too? + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +CAROL + + [_Smiling_] + +Never mind. + +EVELYN + +I don’t. I’m used to Edward. + +CAROL + +So am I. + +EVELYN + +But when you tell me I’m interfering, I feel beastly. + +CAROL + +You are, you know. + +EVELYN + +There! You’ve done it again. + +CAROL + +People like Edward and me should be left to manage our own troubles. + +EVELYN + +All right. From now on I won’t say a word. + +CAROL + +Cheer up. + +EVELYN + +I’m a blundering fool, anyhow. + +CAROL + + [_Laughing_] + +Yes. + +EVELYN + +And instead of making you like me, I’ve made you laugh at me. + +CAROL + +That’s not quite true. + +EVELYN + +I’m afraid it is. + +CAROL + +You don’t know a bit what I’m really like. + +EVELYN + +No. + +CAROL + +Do you want to? + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +CAROL + +I’m not sure that it’s wise. + +EVELYN + +Why not? + +CAROL + +You might be shocked. + +EVELYN + +As bad as that? + +CAROL + +Yes—as bad as that. + +EVELYN + +I don’t believe it. + +CAROL + +Good. + +EVELYN + +You’re too sensitive to behave really badly. + +CAROL + +That’s nonsense. + +EVELYN + +No, it isn’t. + +CAROL + +Sensitiveness hasn’t anything to do with it. + +EVELYN + +Yes, it has. + +CAROL + +Don’t contradict me. + +EVELYN + + [_With truculence_] + +Why shouldn’t I? + +CAROL + +Because it infuriates me. + +EVELYN + + [_Slowly_] + +We’re almost quarreling. + +CAROL + +Yes. + +EVELYN + +I’m sorry. + +CAROL + +Antagonism is a bad sign. + +EVELYN + +What do you mean? + +CAROL + + [_Suddenly burying her face in her hands_] + +Oh, Evie! + +EVELYN + + [_Alarmed_] + +What on earth’s the matter? + +CAROL + + [_Muffled_] + +Nothing. + +EVELYN + +Carol, don’t—please— + + [_He gets up and comes to her._] + +CAROL + +No, no. Sit down. Your man will be in in a moment. + +EVELYN + +Do tell me what’s wrong. + +CAROL + +Sit down, please. + +EVELYN + +All right. + + [_He sits down._] + +CAROL + +Give me my bag, will you? It’s over there. I want to powder my nose. + + [_EVELYN rises. When his back is toward her, an expression of extreme + satisfaction flits across CAROL’S face. By the time he has turned + she is once again bravely melancholy._] + +EVELYN + +Here. + + [_He gives her her bag._] + +CAROL + +Thank you. + + [_She looks up at him with a weary smile. BLACKWELL enters and takes + away the remains of the sweet._] + +EVELYN + +Serve the coffee at once, Blackwell; then I shan’t want you any more. + +BLACKWELL + +Very good, sir. + + [_He goes out._] + +CAROL + +I feel better now. + +EVELYN + +I don’t suppose you’ll ever want to dine with me again. + +CAROL + +Don’t be silly. Of course I shall. + +EVELYN + +I seem to have depressed you terribly. + +CAROL + +No—it’s not your fault, really. + +EVELYN + +I wish I understood you a bit better. + +CAROL + +I’m glad you don’t. + + [_BLACKWELL enters with coffee and liqueurs, which he places beside + EVELYN._] + +EVELYN + +Thank you, Blackwell. Good night. + +BLACKWELL + +Good night, sir. + + [_He goes out._] + +EVELYN + +Coffee? + +CAROL + +Yes, please. + +EVELYN + + [_Pouring it out_] + +Sugar? + +CAROL + +One. + +EVELYN + + [_Handing it to her_] + +There. Cointreau or brandy? + +CAROL + +Cointreau—just a little. + +EVELYN + +The brandy’s very good. + +CAROL + +All right. Brandy, then—you’re so dominant. + +EVELYN + +Don’t laugh at me any more. + +CAROL + +I must a little. + +EVELYN + +Here you are. + + [_He gives her some brandy and takes some himself._] + +CAROL + +Next time I come I’ll try to be more amusing. + +EVELYN + +I don’t want you to be amusing if you don’t feel like it. + +CAROL + +You’re awfully kind and gentle. + +EVELYN + +I want you to relax completely. + +CAROL + +I am relaxing completely. + +EVELYN + +I feel you need it. + +CAROL + +No one else has ever taken the trouble to feel that. + +EVELYN + +They’re all too occupied in enjoying themselves. + +CAROL + +But I don’t think they do, really. + +EVELYN + +That’s true, but they wouldn’t dare admit it. + +CAROL + +Put the gramophone on. + +EVELYN + +Now? + +CAROL + +Yes, please, or I shall cry again. + +EVELYN + + [_Rising_] + +What shall we have? + +CAROL + +Something blaring and noisy. + +EVELYN + +What a baby you are! + +CAROL + +Am I? [_He puts on a foxtrot and stands by the machine looking at her. +After a pause she speaks._] I love this tune. + +EVELYN + +It’s not very new, I’m afraid. I must get some more of the latest ones. + +CAROL + +Are you ready for your lesson? + +EVELYN + +Lesson? + +CAROL + +Yes, your dancing lesson. + +EVELYN + +If you are. + +CAROL + +Of course I am! Come on. + + [_She rises._] + +EVELYN + +I’ll push the table back. [_He does so._] There. + +CAROL + +Now then. + + [_They begin to dance._] + +EVELYN + +Is the time all right? + +CAROL + +A scrap too fast. + +EVELYN + +Wait a minute. + + [_He stops for a second and regulates the time._] + +CAROL + +That’s better. + + [_They dance again._] + +EVELYN + +I’m so sorry. Did I kick you? + +CAROL + +No. + +EVELYN + +I warned you, didn’t I? + +CAROL + +Hold me a little tighter. + +EVELYN + +All right. + + [_They dance in silence for a moment._] + +CAROL + +This is divine. + +EVELYN + +You’re not teaching me a thing. + +CAROL + +You don’t need it. + +EVELYN + +You’re just being polite. I dance like an elephant. + +CAROL + +Don’t be ridiculous. It would be terribly funny if anyone suddenly came +in and found us. + +EVELYN + +There’s not the least chance of it. + + [_They dance in silence for a little._] + +CAROL + +Oh! + +EVELYN + +What is it? + +CAROL + +We nearly crashed into that chair. + +EVELYN + +I’m afraid I wasn’t concentrating. + +CAROL + +That’s very naughty of you. You must. + +EVELYN + +All right. + + [_The record comes to an end._] + +CAROL + +Put on another. + +EVELYN + +Very well. + + [_While he does so, CAROL looks at herself carefully in the glass over + the mantelpiece._] + +CAROL + +I’m enjoying myself frightfully. + +EVELYN + +Are you, really? + +CAROL + +Aren’t you? + +EVELYN + +You know I am. + + [_He takes her in his arms again._] + +CAROL + +You really must hold me a little tighter—it’s so much easier to follow. + +EVELYN + +Like that? + +CAROL + +Yes—like that. + + [_They stand still, she surrendering herself to him, and holds up her + face deliberately to be kissed._] + +EVELYN + + [_Softly_] + +Carol! + + [_He kisses her. They stand tightly clasped for a moment; then he + firmly disentangles himself and turns off the gramophone._] + +CAROL + + [_Sinking onto the sofa and passing her hand across her eyes_] + +Oh, Evie! + +EVELYN + + [_In a different tone_] + +I thought so. + +CAROL + + [_Looking up quickly_] + +What do you mean? + +EVELYN + +It’s unbelievable. + + [_He strides about a little._] + +CAROL + + [_Alarmed_] + +What on earth are you talking about? + +EVELYN + +I was right. I knew it. + +CAROL + + [_Becoming exasperated_] + +Knew what? + +EVELYN + +I’m not quite such easy game as all that. + +CAROL + + [_Rising_] + +Evie! + +EVELYN + +What a little rotter you are. + +CAROL + + [_Outraged_] + +What!! + +EVELYN + +Yes, you may well look surprised. I, unfortunately, am _not_ surprised. + +CAROL + + [_After a pause_] + +I’m beginning to understand. + +EVELYN + +I’m glad. + +CAROL + +Very clever. I must congratulate Edward. + +EVELYN + +It’s nothing to do with Edward. + +CAROL + +Liar! + + [_She goes and takes up her cloak._] + +EVELYN + +You’re not going yet. + +CAROL + +On the contrary, I’m going immediately. + +EVELYN + +Not until I choose. + +CAROL + +Don’t speak to me like that. + +EVELYN + +I’m going to speak to you as you’ve never been spoken to before. + +CAROL + +Pompous ass! + + [_She flings her cloak over her arm and goes toward the door. EVELYN + stands between her and the door._] + +EVELYN + +You’re going to stay here. + +CAROL + + [_Contemptuously_] + +Don’t be so ridiculous. + +EVELYN + +I mean it. + +CAROL + +Are you quite mad? + +EVELYN + +No, not at all; I’m unflatteringly sane. + +CAROL + +Do you intend to use force to keep me here? + +EVELYN + +Yes, if necessary. + +CAROL + +Evie—what have you been reading? + + [_She flings down her cloak and returns to the sofa._] + +EVELYN + +That’s right. + +CAROL + + [_Helping herself to a cigarette_] + +I always thought you were a fool. + +EVELYN + +Thank you. I’m sorry I was less of a fool than you hoped. + +CAROL + +I didn’t hope for much, whatever happened. + +EVELYN + +You’d forgotten I was Edward’s best friend. + +CAROL + +You’re very, very sure of yourself. + +EVELYN + +I can afford to be. I live decently. + +CAROL + +Rubbish! + +EVELYN + +And I’ve got a little honor left. + +CAROL + +Even after living decently. + +EVELYN + +You would say a thing like that. + +CAROL + +I did. + +EVELYN + +I should like to say one thing— + +CAROL + +Please do. + +EVELYN + +If you and I were alone on a desert island I wouldn’t touch you. + +CAROL + +That would be very silly of you. + +EVELYN + + [_Rapidly losing his temper_] + +Haven’t you any modesty or shame anywhere? + +CAROL + + [_Smiling_] + +Oh dear! + +EVELYN + +Stop being flippant; it’s only a mask to cover your humiliation. + +CAROL + +How discerning you are! + +EVELYN + +I know you much better than you think I do. + +CAROL + +Idiot! + +EVELYN + +Flinging epithets at me won’t help. + +CAROL + +Fatuous prig. + +EVELYN + +Shut up. + +CAROL + + [_Rising_] + +May I go now please? + +EVELYN + + [_Almost shouting_] + +No. + +CAROL + + [_Sitting down_] + +Very well. + +EVELYN + +I’m Edward’s best friend. + +CAROL + +You’ve said that before. + +EVELYN + +And I’m damned if I’m going to stand by and see him cheapened and +humiliated by you. + +CAROL + +You’re insufferable. + +EVELYN + +That’s beside the point. + +CAROL + + [_Suddenly furious_] + +It is _not_ beside the point! How dare you behave like this! If you were +Edward’s Siamese twin you’ve no right to ask me here and insult me. You +surely don’t imagine that by talking until you’re blue in the face you +could ever alter my life one way or another. You’ve played a filthy +second-rate trick on me and you think you did it for Edward’s sake, but +all the time it was only to prove to yourself how clever you are. You’ve +got to let me go now—at once. Do you hear? If not I’ll scream the place +down. [_She rises and makes a dash for the door. He intercepts her. She +struggles. He grasps her wrist._] Let me go. Help! Help! + +EVELYN + +Shut up, you little fool! + + [_He puts his hand over her mouth and drags her back to the sofa, upon + which she collapses, sobbing._] + +CAROL + + [_Almost hysterical, in muffled tones_] + +How dare you! Oh, how dare you! It’s outrageous! It’s— + +EVELYN + +Do you want some brandy? + +CAROL + +Don’t speak to me. + +EVELYN + + [_With emphasis_] + +Do you want some brandy! + +CAROL + +No. + +EVELYN + +You’d better have some. Stay where you are. [_He goes over and pours out +a glass of brandy and brings it to her._] Here—sit up. + +CAROL + +Go away. Don’t come near me. + +EVELYN + +You’re hysterical. Drink this and pull yourself together. + + [_He puts his arm round her to lift her up. She wriggles free of him, + sits up quickly by herself, snatches the glass from his hand and + flings it into the fireplace._] + +CAROL + +I don’t want your filthy brandy. + +EVELYN + +That was childish. + +CAROL + +Why are you doing this to me? Why? Why? What have I ever done to you? + +EVELYN + +You’re on the verge of ruining the life of one of the best men that ever +lived. + +CAROL + + [_Tearfully_] + +How? + +EVELYN + +You know perfectly well how. + +CAROL + +It’s no business of yours—what I do—ever. + +EVELYN + +I’ve made it my business. What you attempted to-night with me you’ve +accomplished with other men—you’ve flirted and encouraged them to make +love to you, and in many cases you’ve given yourself to them— + +CAROL + +Evie! + +EVELYN + +I don’t want you to deny it or affirm it. I _know_ it’s true, but I don’t +think Edward does; he loves you too much to believe it possible, and my +object in playing on you this second-rate trick, as you call it, is to +make you realize what a hideous mess you’re making both of his life and +your own. [_During this speech CAROL is looking at EVIE intently. He +begins to stride up and down while he talks._] Edward’s too sensitive and +reserved to fight for his own rights. I’ve known for ages that he wasn’t +happy—that something was weighing on his mind. To-day I asked him plump +out and he admitted— + + [_He pauses._] + +CAROL + +What did he admit? + +EVELYN + +That he was worried and miserable about you. + +CAROL + + [_Calmly_] + +And what did you advise him to do? + +EVELYN + +Give you hell. + +CAROL + +How crude of you! + +EVELYN + +Women of your sort require a little crudity occasionally. + +CAROL + +What do you mean “women of my sort”? + +EVELYN + +Do you want me to tell you? + +CAROL + +No; I don’t want you to say any more at all. + +EVELYN + +You have the soul of a harlot! + +CAROL + + [_Suddenly bursting out laughing_] + +Oh, Evie! + +EVELYN + + [_Losing control_] + +Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. + +CAROL + + [_Continuing to laugh_] + +What do you expect me to do? You’re so ridiculous— + +EVELYN + +I suppose you consider anyone with decent ideals ridiculous? + +CAROL + + [_Laughing helplessly_] + +Oh dear! Oh dear! + +EVELYN + + [_Working himself up more and more_] + +You think it funny that I should make an attempt to defend the honor of +my best friend, who is too shamed by your utter wantonness to defend +himself— + +CAROL + + [_Growing hysterical_] + +You’re mad—quite, quite mad— + +EVELYN + +You’re deliberately ruining his reputation and wrecking his happiness +because you never make the slightest effort to control your rotten +passions— + +CAROL + + [_Rising, trying to control her hysteria_] + +How dare you say that—how dare you— + +EVELYN + +Dare! I’ll say it again and again. Rotten passions! All you live for, all +you think of—women of your type can’t exist without men—men—nothing but +men all the time— + +CAROL + + [_Frantically_] + +Stop! Stop! You shan’t say any more. [_She gives him a ringing slap on +the face. He stands quite still._] Cad! cad! unutterable cad! [_She +gives him another slap between each word. He remains motionless. They +stand facing each other. CAROL puts her hand to her head._] I think—I +think I’m going to be ill. + + [_She falls in a heap at his feet. He carries her back to the sofa. He + deposits her there and rushes to get some more brandy. When his back + is turned she lifts her head sharply and looks at him, then lets it + drop attractively against the side of the sofa. He returns and + ministers the brandy. After a slight pause she opens her eyes and + sits up and finishes the brandy._] + +EVELYN + +Be careful. Don’t spill it on your dress. + +CAROL + +I’m awfully sorry to be so stupid. + +EVELYN + +I didn’t mean to make you ill. + +CAROL + + [_Meekly_] + +Please may I go home now? + +EVELYN + +You’d better wait a moment until you feel stronger. I won’t say any +more—I promise. + +CAROL + +My head aches. + +EVELYN + +Would you like some aspirin? I think I’ve got some somewhere. + +CAROL + +No, thanks. + +EVELYN + +It wasn’t out of any personal spite, you know— + +CAROL + +It doesn’t matter—it— + + [_She bursts into tears._] + +EVELYN + +I say, don’t cry—please. + +CAROL + +I can’t help it. + + [_She cries a little more._] + +EVELYN + +Please! Please! + +CAROL + +Leave me alone. I’ll be all right in a minute. + +EVELYN + +I had no intention of losing my temper. I apologize. + +CAROL + + [_With a fresh burst of tears_] + +It’s all so—so horrible! + +EVELYN + +Carol—please, please don’t! + +CAROL + + [_Sobbing bitterly_] + +I’d no idea—anyone could think of me like that. + +EVELYN + +I was only trying to show you, for Edward’s sake— + +CAROL + +Don’t—don’t say any more. You promised. + +EVELYN + +All right, but you see I— + +CAROL + +I understand why you did it. It’s not that I’m crying for. It’s—it’s— O +God! + +EVELYN + + [_Appealingly_] + +Carol— + +CAROL + +I’m crying because I’m so bitterly ashamed— + +EVELYN + + [_Gently_] + +Carol— + +CAROL + +I don’t want you to despise me utterly— + +EVELYN + +It’s all right. Don’t think any more about it. + +CAROL + +The things you’ve said to me are right—I have been shallow and cheap; but +there’s a reason that you don’t know. + +EVELYN + +Reason? + +CAROL + +You’ve heard Edward’s side of the story and you’ve mixed yourself up in +our lives—more than ever now. It’s only fair for you to hear my side, +too— + +EVELYN + +Now look here, Carol. Don’t let’s say any more about it at all. + +CAROL + +Do you mean that? + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +CAROL + + [_Rising_] + +Very well—I suppose I deserve it. Good night. + + [_She walks sadly toward the door._] + +EVELYN + +Carol— + +CAROL + + [_Turning_] + +Yes? + +EVELYN + +I’ll hear your side if you want me to, but what’s the use of going on any +further? + +CAROL + +Only that unless I explain now I can never look you in the face again. + +EVELYN + +Carol, don’t be so absurd. + +CAROL + +There are circumstances that justify me more than you realize. + +EVELYN + +Come back, then, and sit down. + +CAROL + + [_Wearily returning_] + +I feel so horribly tired. + + [_She comes back to the sofa and leans against it, looking at him. Her + face is pale and she looks extremely sad and quite lovely._] + +EVELYN + +Do sit down. + +CAROL + +No, but I want you to. Sit here where you needn’t look at me. + +EVELYN + +Very well. + + [_He sits down on the sofa and stares into the fire. CAROL stands just + behind him with her hands resting on his shoulders. Both their faces + are half turned to the audience. She speaks very slowly._] + +CAROL + +You’ve been pretty brutal to me to-night and some of the hard things you +said I deserve, but not all of them. I’m selfish and occasionally cheap +and rather vain—and I have been unfaithful to my husband, but not before +he had been unfaithful to me— + +EVELYN + + [_Starting_] + +What! + +CAROL + + [_Pressing him down_] + +Keep still, please. I’m telling you the truth— + +EVELYN + +You mean that Edward— + +CAROL + +I mean exactly what I say. I was completely faithful to Edward until +eighteen months ago, when I discovered that he was having an affair with +Zoe St. Merryn— + +EVELYN + +Good God! + + [_He moves again, but the holds him firmly._] + +CAROL + +That broke me up, rather. + +EVELYN + +I don’t believe it. + +CAROL + +I can’t help that; it’s true, all the same. + +EVELYN + +How did you discover it? What proof have you? + +CAROL + +I suspected for a little while and said nothing until I could bear it no +longer; then I asked Edward and he admitted it— + +EVELYN + + [_Twisting round_] + +I _must_ look at you. + +CAROL + + [_Firmly, looking into his eyes_] + +He admitted it. + +EVELYN + +It’s incredible. + +CAROL + +Why? Edward’s awfully weak, and Zoe—[_She laughs sadly._] Will you turn +around again now, please. [_EVELYN does so and buries his face in his +hands._] Don’t be upset about it, Evie—it’s between Edward and me, +really, and nobody knew—until now. I made him swear never to tell a soul, +otherwise he’d have told you ages ago—he always tells you everything. +I’ve behaved rather badly since then, I know, but something went dead, +inside me and—well, it doesn’t seem to matter much, does it? + +EVELYN + + [_After a pause_] + +May I get up now and get a drink? + +CAROL + +There’s nothing more to say, anyhow. + + [_EVELYN goes over and pours himself out a drink. He turns suddenly._] + +EVELYN + +You wouldn’t lie to me, would you? + +CAROL + + [_With dignity_] + +Even I have a little decency left. + + [_She turns to go again._] + +EVELYN + +Carol! + +CAROL + + [_Turning_] + +Yes. + +EVELYN + +What can I say to you? + +CAROL + +Nothing. + +EVELYN + +I’m desperately sorry. + +CAROL + +All right. + +EVELYN + +I’ve been an abject, blundering fool. It wasn’t my business, anyhow. + +CAROL + + [_With a wan smile_] + +Your motives were sound. + +EVELYN + +Can you forgive me? + +CAROL + +Yes, of course. + +EVELYN + +I mean really forgive me? + +CAROL + + [_Holding out her hand._] + +Completely. + +EVELYN + +You’re very generous. + + [_He takes it._] + +CAROL + +There’s one more thing I want to clear up. + +EVELYN + +What? + +CAROL + +I came here to-night for one reason only. + +EVELYN + +Yes? + +CAROL + +I love you! + +EVELYN + + [_Dropping her hand_] + +Carol! + +CAROL + +It’s all right—don’t be afraid. I’m going now—but I didn’t want you to +think me too cheap—that’s all. + +EVELYN + +I’m utterly bewildered. + +CAROL + +It hasn’t been very easy for either of us, has it? + +EVELYN + +You can’t mean what you say. + +CAROL + +You know I do—you’ve known it all along, subconsciously. + +EVELYN + +Carol—I’m dreadfully—horribly embarrassed. + +CAROL + +Poor old Evie. + +EVELYN + +I don’t know what to do. + +CAROL + +We’ll both laugh over to-night one day, won’t we? + +EVELYN + +Will we? + +CAROL + + [_With beautifully forced gayety_] + +Yes—you see. + +EVELYN + +You are an extraordinary woman. + +CAROL + +Just rather silly, I’m afraid. Good night. + +EVELYN + +I’m going to see you home. + +CAROL + +No, please. I’d rather go alone. Please, I mean it, honestly. + +EVELYN + +But— + +CAROL + +It’s only just round the corner. + +EVELYN + +I can’t let you go alone. + +CAROL + + [_With gentle firmness_] + +You must—please. + +EVELYN + + [_Looking down_] + +All right. + +CAROL + +We’re friends, aren’t we? + +EVELYN + + [_Still looking down_] + +Yes. + +CAROL + +In spite of everything? + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +CAROL + +Because of everything? + +EVELYN + +Oh, Carol! + +CAROL + +Good night, my dear. [_She comes to him and kisses him gently on the +mouth. Suddenly he crushes her to him. After a moment she disentangles +herself._] No, no! I didn’t mean it, really. I’m not going to be cheap +any more. Stand quite still where you are, not looking. I don’t want you +to move until I’ve gone. + + [_She goes out quietly, leaving him standing stock-still. After a + moment the front door slams. EVELYN turns in the direction of the + sound._] + +EVELYN + + [_Emotionally_] + +Carol—O God! + + [_He goes over to the sofa and flings himself down on it, with his + face buried in his hands. CAROL comes softly in again. Her cloak is + over her arm. She gives one look in his direction and then goes + noiselessly into his bedroom, closing the door after her._] + + CURTAIN + + + + +“THIS WAS A MAN” + +Act Three + + + + +ACT III + + +_The scene is the same as Act I. It is about twelve o’clock in the morning. +One night has elapsed since Act II._ + + [_When the curtain rises the studio is empty. There is the sound + of the front-door bell ringing with some violence. BERRY enters, + R., and crosses over L. He exits and reappears in a moment, + ushering in EVELYN. EVELYN is looking extremely white and + strained._] + +BERRY + +Can I offer you anything to drink, sir? + +EVELYN + +No, thanks. + +BERRY + +The master’s sure to be in soon, sir. + +EVELYN + +All right, thanks. + +BERRY + +He’s only taking a walk in the Park. + +EVELYN + +I think I will have a drink, after all. + +BERRY + +Very good, sir. Whisky and soda? + +EVELYN + +Yes, please. + + [_BERRY goes out. EVELYN proceeds to pace up and down the room a + little. BERRY returns with a whisky and soda._] + +EVELYN + +Oh, thanks. + + [_He takes it._] + +BERRY + +Would you like the papers, sir, or have you seen them already? + +EVELYN + +I’ve seen them, thanks. + +BERRY + +Shall I tell Mrs. Churt that you are here, sir? + +EVELYN + +No—no. Please don’t disturb her. + +BERRY + +Very good, sir. + + [_He goes out again. EVELYN once more proceeds to pace up and down with + the whisky and soda in his hand. He is obviously extremely agitated. + After a moment CAROL enters from R. She looks fresh and charming. She + gives a slight start on seeing EVELYN._] + +CAROL + +Evie! + +EVELYN + + [_Jumping—he turns_] + +I’ve come to see Edward. + +CAROL + +What’s the matter? + +EVELYN + +I’ve come to see Edward. + +CAROL + + [_With faint apprehension_] + +I know—you just said so. Aren’t you going to say good morning? + +EVELYN + +Good morning. + +CAROL + + [_Going over to him_] + +No more than that? + +EVELYN + +No—no more. + + [_He turns away._] + +CAROL + + [_Biting her lip_] + +I see. + +EVELYN + +I want to see him alone. + +CAROL + + [_Putting her hand on his arm_] + +Evie, what’s wrong? + +EVELYN + +You can seriously ask me that? + +CAROL + +Why are you behaving like this? + +EVELYN + + [_Turning away_] + +You’re hopeless. + +CAROL + +You’re not going to do anything foolish, are you? + +EVELYN + +I’m going to do the only thing possible. + +CAROL + + [_Swinging him round_] + +Evie! + +EVELYN + +Leave me alone. + +CAROL + +But listen— + +EVELYN + + [_Wrenching himself free from her_] + +Don’t touch me, please. + +CAROL + + [_Pleading_] + +Evie—please—why are you being so horrid? + +EVELYN + +I don’t want to look at you—or see you again ever! + +CAROL + +Why—why—what have I done? + +EVELYN + + [_Sinking into a chair with his face in his hands_] + +Leave me alone. Leave me alone. + +CAROL + +You don’t love me at all, then? + +EVELYN + +For God’s sake stop! + +CAROL + +You don’t—you don’t— + +EVELYN + +Shut up! Shut up! + +CAROL + +You coward! + + [_She goes over to the window._] + +EVELYN + +Please go away. You’ll only make everything much worse. + +CAROL + +Why have you come here this morning? + +EVELYN + +To tell Edward about last night. + +CAROL + +What will you tell him? + +EVELYN + +The truth. + +CAROL + +You’re insane. + +EVELYN + +I was—but I’m not any more. + +CAROL + + [_Coming quickly back to him_] + +You can’t mean this. + +EVELYN + +I do mean it. + +CAROL + +But why! Why!! Why!!! + +EVELYN + +I don’t expect you to understand. + +CAROL + +Evie, listen. Be sensible for a moment. + +EVELYN + +It’s no use going on like that. I’ve made up my mind. + +CAROL + +Evie— + +EVELYN + + [_Rising_] + +Go away! Go away! + +CAROL + + [_Following him_] + +I love you. + +EVELYN + +Be quiet. + +CAROL + +I love you—I love you. Tell what you like—shout it from the housetops. I +love you! + +EVELYN + + [_Catching hold of her_] + +Shut up—you must. Some one will hear. + +CAROL + +I don’t care. + +EVELYN + +You don’t love me—you never did for a moment—it was all a trick. + +CAROL + + [_Outraged_] + +Evie! + +EVELYN + +I can see it all now—I can see it all. + +CAROL + +You’re talking nonsense. + +EVELYN + +For God’s sake go away from me. + +CAROL + + [_Helplessly_] + +I don’t know what to do. + +EVELYN + +Leave me alone. I’ve got to tell Edward the truth. + +CAROL + +In Heaven’s name, why? + +EVELYN + +Can’t you see why? + +CAROL + +No. What good will it do? + +EVELYN + +I’ve betrayed him. + +CAROL + +That’s no reason for you to betray me as well. + +EVELYN + +He trusted me—completely. + +CAROL + +Well, why not let him go on trusting you? + +EVELYN + +Because I’m unworthy of it forever. + +CAROL + +And what about me? + +EVELYN + +It was your fault. + +CAROL + +How chivalrous. + +EVELYN + +You lied to me. + +CAROL + + [_Firmly_] + +I did _not_ lie to you. + +EVELYN + +You said you came last night because you loved me. + +CAROL + +So I did! + +EVELYN + +You came out of curiosity and stayed out of revenge. + +CAROL + +What a fool you are! + +EVELYN + +You determined to get even with me. + +CAROL + +Evie! + +EVELYN + +It’s true—it’s true—you know it is. + +CAROL + +Why have you built up this ridiculous story in your mind? + +EVELYN + +It’s true. + +CAROL + + [_With great firmness_] + +It’s nothing of the sort, and if you calm yourself and think seriously +for a moment, you’ll realize the complete absurdity of it. You must be +sensible. Do you hear—you _must_ be sensible. You’re on the verge of +wrecking everything out of sheer hysteria. + +EVELYN + +Everything is wrecked already. I’ve got nothing left—no honor, no +decency— + +CAROL + + [_Quietly_] + +I gave myself to you last night, Evie— + +EVELYN + +Don’t—don’t— + +CAROL + +I gave myself to you completely and for one reason only—I loved you. I +love you now. + +EVELYN + +Carol, please— + +CAROL + +If you tell Edward—I shall go away and never see either of you again. + +EVELYN + +I can’t help it. I— + +CAROL + +You _can_ help it. What you’re contemplating is utterly without reason. +If you’re trying to vindicate your honor, you can’t seriously achieve it +by betraying mine. We’ve both behaved abominably, I admit. We’ve both +been weak and uncontrolled and given way completely and we shall suffer +for it accordingly, you needn’t doubt that for a minute. We’re in a +terrible mess, but we’re in it together and together we must remain— + +EVELYN + +I shall never be able to look Edward in the face again. + +CAROL + +Will you be able to face him any better after you’ve told him? + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +CAROL + +Why? + +EVELYN + +Because I shall have done the only decent thing left to me. + +CAROL + +You’ll only succeed in making him suffer as well as yourself and me. +Can’t you see the uselessness of it? + +EVELYN + +I can’t see him and talk to him with this shame between us. + +CAROL + +You must—so must I. It’s the just penalty for what we’ve done. You said +just now you never wanted to see me again. Well, I promise you you never +shall—alone. You at least can go away. I can’t—I’ve got to stay and get +through the next few months as best I can— + + [_There comes a ring at the front-door bell._] + +EVELYN + + [_Pacing the room_] + +O God! what am I to do? + +CAROL + + [_Quickly_] + +Nothing—nothing yet, anyhow. Think sensibly and quietly—everything +depends on your keeping calm— + + [_BERRY enters and crosses over L. and exits._] + +EVELYN + +Is that Edward? + +CAROL + +Yes, I expect so. He’s always forgetting his key. + +EVELYN + + [_Terribly undecided_] + +Carol, I— + +CAROL + +Promise you’ll do nothing yet. + +EVELYN + +I can’t—I— + +CAROL + + [_Whispering violently_] + +Promise me—wait a little—promise me. Will you promise me? + +EVELYN + + [_Helplessly_] + +Yes. + + [_BERRY re-enters._] + +BERRY + + [_Announcing_] + +Mrs. St. Merryn. + + [_ZOE enters briskly._] + +ZOE + +Good morning, Carol. I haven’t seen you for months. How are you? + +CAROL + + [_As they kiss_] + +Splendid. I heard you were back. + +ZOE + +Hallo, Evie! + +EVELYN + + [_Coldly_] + +Good morning. + +ZOE + +I gather that Edward is expected? + +CAROL + +Yes, he’ll be back at any minute. + +EVELYN + +Good-by. + + [_He goes out abruptly._] + +ZOE + + [_Surprised_] + +That was one of the most sudden exits I’ve ever seen. + +CAROL + + [_Carelessly_] + +I think Evie’s upset about something. + +ZOE + +I didn’t think he was capable of it. + +CAROL + + [_Conventionally_] + +Are you glad to be back? + +ZOE + +Delighted. London’s looking so pretty with all the roads up. + +CAROL + + [_Absently_] + +Are they? I hadn’t noticed. + +ZOE + +I don’t see how you could fail to unless you travel exclusively in the +underground. + +CAROL + +Where are you staying? + +ZOE + +Claridge’s. + +CAROL + +Oh! + +ZOE + +It’s so beautifully austere. + +CAROL + +What? + +ZOE + + [_Patiently_] + +I said it was so beautifully austere. + +CAROL + +Oh yes, it is. + +ZOE + +You’re looking awfully well. + +CAROL + +I am, frightfully well. + +ZOE + +Don’t you think I’m looking frightfully well? + +CAROL + +Yes, you certainly are. Traveling obviously agrees with you. + +ZOE + +It’s so comforting to know that we both look so awfully well. Can I have +a cigarette? + +CAROL + +Yes, of course. I’m so sorry. Here— + + [_She hands her a box open._] + +ZOE + +Thank you, dear. There aren’t any in this box, but it doesn’t matter. + +CAROL + +How annoying! Wait a minute. [_She takes another box off a table, left._] +Here— + +ZOE + + [_Taking one_] + +You seem a little distrait this morning, if I may say so. + +CAROL + +I’ve got rather a headache. + +ZOE + +I’m so sorry. You don’t look very well. + +CAROL + +I think, if you’ll forgive me, I’ll go and take some aspirin. + +ZOE + +Of course. I should lie down until lunch if I were you. + +CAROL + +Perhaps I will. Edward’s certain to be in soon. + +ZOE + +I’ll be perfectly happy waiting. + +CAROL + +You must come and dine one night. + +ZOE + +I’d adore to. + +CAROL + +Good-by for the present, dear. + + [_She kisses her._] + +ZOE + +Good-by. I’m sorry you’re so seedy. I’m afraid you’ve been overdoing it +lately. + +CAROL + + [_Irritatedly_] + +Overdoing what? + +ZOE + + [_Vaguely_] + +Oh, everything. + +CAROL + +No, I haven’t. + +ZOE + +I’m so glad. + + [_CAROL goes out. ZOE wanders round the room, smiling to herself, + examining various portraits, etc. After a moment EDWARD enters._] + +EDWARD + +Zoe! How long have you been here? + +ZOE + +Only a few minutes. + +EDWARD + +I’ve been out in the Park. + +ZOE + +I didn’t know it was still there. + +EDWARD + +I’m afraid you’re finding the old town sadly changed. + +ZOE + +I’m sure it’s much more hygienic now. + +EDWARD + +Have you seen Carol? + +ZOE + +Yes. She’s just gone to bed. + +EDWARD + +Gone to bed? + +ZOE + +She said she had a headache. + +EDWARD + +How do you think she’s looking? + +ZOE + + [_Laughing_] + +Awfully well. + +EDWARD + +What are you laughing at? + +ZOE + +Carol always makes me laugh. + +EDWARD + +Why? + +ZOE + +She’s so consistent. + +EDWARD + +Are you lunching with me? + +ZOE + +If you like. I’ve got to go to Sloane Street first and look at Mary +Phillip’s house. She wants to let it to me. + +EDWARD + +Pick me up here on the way back. + +ZOE + +I really came to ask you to dine to-night and go to a play. + +EDWARD + +I’d love to. What do you want to see? + +ZOE + +A nice clean play, please, Edward. + +EDWARD + +Splendid. We shan’t have any trouble getting seats. + +ZOE + +I’m so old-fashioned—I like love stories without the slightest suggestion +of sex. + +EDWARD + +You ought to be a critic. + +ZOE + +You’re an awfully nice person to come back to! + +EDWARD + + [_Smiling_] + +Am I? + +ZOE + +Yes. One picks up the threads exactly where they were dropped. + +EDWARD + +They were never dropped. + +ZOE + +Carol’s an awful fool. + +EDWARD + +Why? + +ZOE + +She could hold you if she wanted to. + +EDWARD + +Don’t be tiresome, Zoe. + +ZOE + +What are you going to do about it? + +EDWARD + +About what? + +ZOE + +Do you really want me to be explicit? + +EDWARD + +No. I know perfectly well what you mean. + +ZOE + +You’re wasting time. + +EDWARD + +Not at all. I’m working hard. + +ZOE + +You said that yesterday and it was no more convincing then than it is +now. + +EDWARD + +It’s true. + +ZOE + +Perhaps, but rather beside the point. + +EDWARD + +What is the point? + +ZOE + +Your happiness. + +EDWARD + +What beautiful thoughts you have, Zoe. + +ZOE + +Don’t be flippant. + +EDWARD + +Flippancy alleviates my boredom with the whole subject. + +ZOE + +Are you sure you’re not confusing boredom with lack of moral courage? + +EDWARD + +Possibly. + +ZOE + +Well, don’t. + +EDWARD + +I refuse to be dominated, Zoe—even by you! + +ZOE + + [_Smiling_] + +That’s right, dear. + +EDWARD + +And don’t laugh at me. + +ZOE + +I always have. I fail to see why I should stop now. + +EDWARD + +I resent it bitterly. + +ZOE + +Dear Edward. + +EDWARD + +What do you expect me to do? + +ZOE + +Deliver an ultimatum. + +EDWARD + +That would be stepping out of my character. + +ZOE + +Nonsense! + +EDWARD + +I am essentially a weak-minded man. + +ZOE + +Nothing of the sort—you’re a lazy idealist. + +EDWARD + +That sounds delightful. + +ZOE + +So it is in theory; in practice it’s sterility personified. + +EDWARD + +You’re terribly didactic. + +ZOE + +I’m trying to rouse you. + +EDWARD + +Why? + +ZOE + +Because you’re discontented and unhappy. + +EDWARD + +I never said so. + +ZOE + +You don’t need to—it’s written all over you. + +EDWARD + +You think I’d be happier if I bashed about making scenes and delivering +ultimatums? + +ZOE + +Certainly—you at least might achieve something. + +EDWARD + +What, for instance? + +ZOE + +Freedom! + +EDWARD + +That’s a myth. + +ZOE + +Oh no, it isn’t. + +EDWARD + +In this case it’s impossible. + +ZOE + +Why? + +EDWARD + + [_Turning away_] + +Oh, don’t let’s discuss it any more. + +ZOE + +You _are_ annoying, Edward. + +EDWARD + +Evie went on like that for hours yesterday. + +ZOE + +Evie? + +EDWARD + +Yes. He seemed to advocate violence as being the best method. + +ZOE + +He would. + +EDWARD + +He even offered to teach Carol a lesson. + +ZOE + +What sort of lesson? + +EDWARD + +He didn’t explain. + +ZOE + +Poor Evie. + +EDWARD + +You needn’t despise him so utterly. He’s a good sort. + +ZOE + +He’s the quintessence of masculine complacency. + +EDWARD + +I’m sure it’s a great comfort to him. I wish I was. + +ZOE + +Evie will get into trouble one of these days. He’s too worldly. + +EDWARD + +If I were free, Zoe, would you marry me? + +ZOE + +Edward! + +EDWARD + +I suddenly thought of it. + +ZOE + + [_Laughing_] + +This is terribly sudden. + +EDWARD + +Don’t be silly. + +ZOE + +You must give me time to think. + +EDWARD + +Do shut up and be serious. + +ZOE + +I have a vague feeling that your proposal is a little previous. + +EDWARD + +It wasn’t a proposal—just an idea. + +ZOE + +Not exactly an original one. We discussed it all ages ago. + +EDWARD + +And whose fault was it that it never came off? + +ZOE + + [_Promptly_] + +Yours. + +EDWARD + +Zoe, how can you? It was entirely yours. + +ZOE + +Nonsense! I was dead set on it. + +EDWARD + +You refused me and rushed off to Africa. + +ZOE + +You can’t call Algiers Africa. + +EDWARD + +It is, all the same. + +ZOE + +If you’d loved me enough, you’d have followed me. + +EDWARD + +I was waiting for you to come back. + +ZOE + +Let’s stop talking about it—it’s rather painful. + +EDWARD + +We weren’t in love, really, anyhow. + +ZOE + +Weren’t we? + +EDWARD + +I don’t know. + +ZOE + +It’s all very difficult. + +EDWARD + +Yes. + +ZOE + +I think I shall go away again soon. + +EDWARD + +Oh, Zoe, please don’t! + +ZOE + +It’s going to be awkward if I stay. + +EDWARD + +No, it isn’t. + +ZOE + +We’re both on rather dangerous ground. + +EDWARD + +I don’t see why. + +ZOE + +Yes, you do, perfectly. + +EDWARD + +I do not. + +ZOE + +If I stay, we shall probably fall in love properly—we’re both at a +perilous age. + +EDWARD + +What if we do? + +ZOE + +It would be too horrible, with all this Carol business going on and +everything. + +EDWARD + +You’re crossing your bridges before you come to them. + +ZOE + +I shall go, all the same. + +EDWARD + +That is rank cowardice. + +ZOE + +No, it isn’t; it’s sound sense. + +EDWARD + +It will be beastly for me. + +ZOE + +Not so beastly as if I stayed, really—in the long run. + +EDWARD + +What could happen? + +ZOE + +Oh, the usual thing, I suppose—we should have an affair and spoil +everything. + +EDWARD + +I don’t see why. + +ZOE + +You’re being very obstinate this morning. + +EDWARD + +If I were in love with you at all, it would be in a very nice, restrained +way. + +ZOE + +We should both tire of that very quickly. + +EDWARD + +Zoe, how can you be so unpleasant? + +ZOE + +I’m only facing facts. + +EDWARD + +We’ve been together a good deal in the past. + +ZOE + +I know. + +EDWARD + +And everything was above reproach. + +ZOE + +Entirely. + +EDWARD + +Well, why can’t we go on like that? + +ZOE + +Because even if we do, people will say we don’t. + +EDWARD + +What does that matter? + +ZOE + +It matters a lot. I’ve had enough squalor in the past few years to last +me for life. + +EDWARD + +Yes, but I don’t see— + +ZOE + +Also I have a strange aversion to coming between man and wife. + +EDWARD + +Oh, shut up, Zoe. + +ZOE + +It’s true. I suffer from a pre-war conscience. + +EDWARD + +There’s no question of that, really. + +ZOE + +Don’t be silly. Of course there is. + +EDWARD + +Carol wouldn’t care. + +ZOE + +What difference does that make? Really, Edward, you’re being horribly +flaccid over the whole thing! + +EDWARD + +Don’t let’s argue about it. + +ZOE + +All right. + +EDWARD + +But please don’t go away again—just yet. + +ZOE + +I’ll think it over, Edward. + +EDWARD + +You’ve depressed me terribly. + +ZOE + +I’m sorry. + +EDWARD + +It’s all such a hopeless muddle. + +ZOE + +It needn’t be. + +EDWARD + +I’d no idea you were so designing. + +ZOE + +What a horrid thing to say! + +EDWARD + +It’s true though, isn’t it? + +ZOE + +Absolutely. + +EDWARD + +Oh, Zoe— + +ZOE + +I must go. + +EDWARD + +Remember lunch. + +ZOE + +I’ll pick you up here. + +EDWARD + +No, don’t—I’ll meet you. + +ZOE + +Where? + +EDWARD + +Berkeley—one o’clock. + +ZOE + +I’m sure to be late. + +EDWARD + +So am I. + +ZOE + +Good-by, dear. + + [_She goes up to him and kisses him lightly._] + +EDWARD + +Zoe! + +ZOE + +That was part of the design! + + [_She goes out. EDWARD walks up and down irritably for a moment, then + lights a cigarette and flings himself into an armchair. The telephone + rings. He gives an exclamation of annoyance and rises to answer it._] + +EDWARD + + [_At telephone_] + +Hallo!... Yes—yes.... Who is it speaking?... No, I’m afraid you can’t. +She isn’t very well— + + [_CAROL enters in time to catch the last sentence._] + +CAROL + +Who is it? + +EDWARD + +Oh.... Hold on, please.... Harry Challoner. + + [_He hands her the telephone curtly and goes over to the window._] + +CAROL + + [_At telephone_] + +Hallo!... Yes, it’s me.... No—no, I can’t. I’m sorry.... All right, if +you like.... I’ll be in between six and seven.... Yes.... Good-by. + + [_She hangs up the receiver and looks toward EDWARD who has his back + turned. She is about to go out again, when he turns._] + +EDWARD + +Carol. + +CAROL + +Yes? + +EDWARD + +I want to talk to you. + +CAROL + +Is anything the matter? + +EDWARD + +Yes. Sit down, will you? + +CAROL + + [_Sitting_] + +If you like. + +EDWARD + +I want to get things settled. + +CAROL + +Get things settled? + +EDWARD + +Yes. + +CAROL + +What sort of things? + +EDWARD + +Our exact relationship. + +CAROL + +What _do_ you mean? + +EDWARD + +Just that. + +CAROL + +I don’t understand. + +EDWARD + +I think you do. + +CAROL + + [_By now extremely apprehensive_] + +I don’t Edward, honestly. + +EDWARD + +Do you intend to pursue your present course indefinitely? + +CAROL + +What are you talking about? + +EDWARD + +Infidelity. + +CAROL + +Are you insinuating that I— + +EDWARD + +I’m insinuating nothing. I’m stating that you have been unfaithful to me. + +CAROL + + [_Rising_] + +Edward! + +EDWARD + + [_Firmly_] + +Sit down. This is not a scene—it’s a process of readjustment. Please let +us keep it as brief as possible. + +CAROL + + [_Sinking down_] + +How can you be so horrible! + +EDWARD + +Do you deny it? + +CAROL + +Of course I do. + +EDWARD + +Carol, let me disillusion you. I’m not bluffing. I _know_. I’ve known for +ages. It’s no use wasting time denying and arguing. We must decide what’s +to be done about it. + +CAROL + +How can you be so foul! + +EDWARD + + [_Wearily_] + +Oh, Carol, do stop acting. + +CAROL + +You’re insufferable. + +EDWARD + +Once and for all will you be sensible? + +CAROL + +I hate you. + +EDWARD + +That would be beautifully definite if you weren’t so unreliable. + +CAROL + +Do you want me to hate you? + +EDWARD + +To be honest with you, I really don’t mind. + +CAROL + + [_Outraged_] + +Edward! + +EDWARD + +Don’t be a fool, Carol. + +CAROL + +How dare you! How dare you! + +EDWARD + +We will face facts, please. + +CAROL + + [_Rising_] + +I’m not going to stay here and be insulted. + +EDWARD + +You’re not being insulted—it’s I who have been insulted. You’ve been +publicly underrating my intelligence for months. + +CAROL + +That’s what’s upsetting you, is it? + +EDWARD + +Certainly it is. I wish you’d sit down. + +CAROL + +I’m going to my room. + +EDWARD + +You’re only temporarily evading the issues by doing that. + +CAROL + +What’s the object of all this? + +EDWARD + +The object, as I said before, is to get our relationship satisfactorily +defined. + +CAROL + + [_With grandeur_] + +It’s satisfactorily defined now as far as I am concerned. + +EDWARD + +I would prefer the satisfaction to be mutual. + +CAROL + +You think you’re very clever, don’t you? + +EDWARD + +What a common remark! You’ll be sticking your tongue out at me in a +minute. + +CAROL + +I suppose Zoe has been putting you up to this. + +EDWARD + +Meaning that I have no initiative of my own anyhow? + +CAROL + +Exactly. + +EDWARD + +That’s charming of you—and fits in beautifully with your behavior during +the last year. + +CAROL + +Are you in love with me still? + +EDWARD + +Do you expect me to be? + +CAROL + +Are you? + +EDWARD + +No, Carol. + +CAROL + +I see. + +EDWARD + +All of which is beside the point. + +CAROL + +No, it isn’t. If you loved me you’d never say such things to me. + +EDWARD + +I admit that it would be more comfortable for you if I just suffered and +suffered in silence. + +CAROL + +You’re too unemotional to be capable of any suffering. + +EDWARD + +Do you imagine you’re putting up a good defense for yourself? + +CAROL + +I’m not attempting to. + +EDWARD + +That brings us to my ultimatum. + +CAROL + + [_With a forced laugh_] + +Ultimatum! Really Edward! + +EDWARD + +You’ve been unfaithful to me three times during the past year—Maurice +Verney, Geoffrey Poole, and now Harry Challoner! + +CAROL + + [_Blanching slightly_] + +Edward! + +EDWARD + +All three married men, which adds considerably to the general sordidness +of the whole business. + +CAROL + + [_Losing control_] + +I will _not_ be spoken to like this! + +EDWARD + + [_With sudden force_] + +Be quiet! Do you still deny it? + +CAROL + + [_More dimly_] + +No. + +EDWARD + +That’s better. + +CAROL + + [_Sullenly_] + +I’m sorry. + +EDWARD + +That’s too sudden to be convincing. + +CAROL + + [_Breaking up slightly; after a long pause_] + +What are you going to do? + +EDWARD + +Wait until next time. + +CAROL + +Next time? + +EDWARD + +Yes. + +CAROL + +And what then? + +EDWARD + +I shall divorce you. + +CAROL + +Edward! + +EDWARD + +I mean it. Whether the man happens to be married or single will not make +the slightest difference. + +CAROL + + [_Looking down_] + +I see. + +EDWARD + +Is that quite clear? + +CAROL + +Quite. + +EDWARD + +Incidentally, I wish you to give up Harry Challoner entirely. I object to +you even being seen with such a second-rate bounder. + +CAROL + + [_Looking at him_] + +Very well. + +EDWARD + +We’ll both do our best to forget the whole thing. We can get along +perfectly well together with a little effort. + +CAROL + +There’s no more, is there? + +EDWARD + +No, that’s all. + + [_CAROL goes slowly toward the door in silence. Her expression is very + thoughtful. When she reaches the door she turns._] + +CAROL + + [_In a different voice_] + +Edward. + +EDWARD + +Yes? + +CAROL + +Please forgive me. + +EDWARD + +Forgiveness in this case is surely rather unimportant. + +CAROL + +Oh, please, please— + + [_She bursts into tears and goes toward him_] + +EDWARD + +Now then, Carol— + +CAROL + + [_Standing in front of him weeping_] + +You must forgive me—you must! + +EDWARD + +All right. + +CAROL + +I didn’t love any of them—I swear I didn’t. + +EDWARD + + [_Turning away irritably_] + +Oh, Carol— + +CAROL + +You’ve been utterly indifferent to me for ages. + +EDWARD + +Naturally. + +CAROL + +No, but before—I mean before—last year you stopped loving me. + +EDWARD + +Please don’t go on like this. + +CAROL + +It’s true—it’s true. I was lonely. + +EDWARD + +Don’t talk such utter nonsense. + +CAROL + + [_Working herself up_] + +It isn’t nonsense—it’s you I love really all the time. I hate Harry +Challoner, really. I’ve been trying to break with him for ages. I made a +vow weeks ago that I’d never be unfaithful to you again—honestly I did, +I swear it. I’m sick of everybody. I wanted to ask you to take me away +abroad somewhere, but I didn’t dare—you had so much work to do—and you +were so cold and horrid. Edward—Edward—you’ve got to love me again—you +must. I shall go mad if you don’t. Please—Edward darling. + + [_She flings herself into his arms._] + +EDWARD + + [_Gently disentangling himself_] + +There now—it’s all right. Do stop. + + [_He kisses her dutifully_] + +CAROL + +I feel so bitterly ashamed. + +EDWARD + +Stop crying. + +CAROL + +I swear I’ll be good. I swear I will. + +EDWARD + +That’s right. Now control yourself. + +CAROL + +I’ll never see Harry again. + +EDWARD + +Very well. For Heaven’s sake stop crying. + +CAROL + +I do love you really, you know. That’s what makes it so awful. + +EDWARD + +Pull yourself together. + +CAROL + + [_Dabbing her eyes_] + +I’ll try. + +EDWARD + +Go and lie down and take something. + +CAROL + +What shall I take? + +EDWARD + +Aspirin, I should think. + +CAROL + +I had some just now. + +EDWARD + +Have some more. + +CAROL + +All right. Oh, God! + + [_She goes out slowly, still half sobbing. EDWARD heaves a sigh of + mingled relief and irritation, he again flings himself into an + armchair. Then comes the sound of the front-door bell. He groans. + BERRY enters from R._] + +EDWARD + +Whoever it is, Berry, I’m out. + +BERRY + +Very good, sir. [_He goes out L. After a moment he re-enters._] I’m very +sorry, sir; it’s Major Bathurst. The porter downstairs told him you’d +just come in; he’s called already this morning. + +EDWARD + +Nobody told me. You’d better show him in. + +BERRY + +Yes, sir. [_He goes out and returns, announcing_] Major Bathurst. + + [_EVELYN comes in. He looks more harassed than ever. BERRY goes out._] + +EDWARD + +Hallo, Evie! + +EVELYN + + [_Haltingly_] + +Edward—I—I’ve come to say good-by. + +EDWARD + + [_Surprised_] + +Good-by! + +EVELYN + +Yes. I came earlier this morning, but you were out. + +EDWARD + +But where on earth are you going? + +EVELYN + +Australia. + +EDWARD + +Why Australia? + +EVELYN + + [_Weakly_] + +I’ve always wanted to go to Australia. + +EDWARD + +What _do_ you mean? + +EVELYN + +I mean I’ve got to go there on business. + +EDWARD + +It’s very sudden, isn’t it? + +EVELYN + +Yes. I had a wire from my brother. + +EDWARD + +I didn’t know he was in Australia. + +EVELYN + +He isn’t. He’s in Cheltenham, but he sent me a wire saying I ought to go +out there at once. + +EDWARD + +What’s the matter with you, Evie? + +EVELYN + +Nothing. + +EDWARD + +You’re not only telling me extremely fatuous lies, but you look like +death. + +EVELYN + +They’re not lies. I— + +EDWARD + +Don’t he an ass. Have a drink. + +EVELYN + +No—I don’t want a drink. + +EDWARD + +What’s wrong? + +EVELYN + +There’s nothing wrong. + +EDWARD + +You’d better tell me, you know. + +EVELYN + +I want to tell you. + +EDWARD + +Come on, then. + +EVELYN + +I’ve got to tell you. + +EDWARD + +Out with it. + +EVELYN + +But I can’t. + +EDWARD + +Surely that’s rather silly. + +EVELYN + +I tried to shoot myself this morning. + +EDWARD + +You what!!! + +EVELYN + +Tried to shoot myself. + +EDWARD + + [_Alarmed_] + +In God’s name, why? + +EVELYN + + [_Brokenly_] + +Oh, Edward! + +EDWARD + +Evie, what _has_ happened? + +EVELYN + +I’m the filthiest cad in the world. + +EDWARD + +Don’t be ridiculous. + +EVELYN + +Our friendship is over forever. + +EDWARD + + [_With irritation_] + +Do stop all this melodrama, Evie, and tell me what’s the matter. + +EVELYN + +I’ve betrayed you, utterly. + +EDWARD + + [_In great astonishment_] + +Betrayed _me_? + +EVELYN + + [_Looking down_] + +Yes. + +EDWARD + +How? + +EVELYN + + [_Brokenly_] + +Carol! + +EDWARD + +Carol! Well, what about her? + +EVELYN + +Carol dined with me last night. + +EDWARD + +Oh, did she? + +EVELYN + +And—and—O my God! + + [_He sinks into a chair by the table and leans his head on his arms._] + +EDWARD + + [_In amazement_] + +You don’t seriously mean to tell me— + +EVELYN + + [_In muffled tones_] + +Yes. + +EDWARD + +You and Carol! + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +EDWARD + +This is too much! + + [_He bursts out laughing._] + +EVELYN + + [_Looking up astounded_] + +Edward! + +EDWARD + +I can’t bear it. + + [_He laughs louder._] + +EVELYN + + [_Rising_] + +Edward—old man—please— + +EDWARD + + [_Helplessly_] + +It’s unbelievable—incredible. Oh dear! + + [_He collapses on the window seat._] + +EVELYN + + [_Approaching him_] + +Edward—for God’s sake— + +EDWARD + + [_Weakly_] + +Don’t come near me. I shall be all right in a minute. + +EVELYN + + [_With growing anger_] + +You must be mad. + +EDWARD + +I certainly feel very strange. + + [_He goes into fits of laughter again._] + +EVELYN + + [_Outraged_] + +Edward—do you realize what I’ve just told you? + +EDWARD + + [_Trying to control himself_] + +Yes—perfectly. + +EVELYN + +And you can laugh! + +EDWARD + +Will you hand me a cigarette, please? + +EVELYN + + [_Irately_] + +Look here, Edward— + +EDWARD + + [_With sudden firmness_] + +Will you hand me a cigarette, please. + +EVELYN + +Here. + + [_He offers him his case._] + +EDWARD + +Thanks. [_He takes one._] Light. + +EVELYN + +Here. + + [_He strikes a match._] + +EDWARD + +Thanks. I feel better now. + +EVELYN + +Well! What are you going to do about it? + +EDWARD + +Ring that bell, will you? By the door. + +EVELYN + +I can find my own way out. + +EDWARD + + [_Firmly_] + +You’re not going yet. Ring the bell, please. + + [_EVELYN looks at him and then goes and rings the bell._] + +EVELYN + +Look here, Edward, I came here this morning because I felt I owed it to +our friendship to confess the truth to you— + +EDWARD + +You’re out of your depth, Evie—far, far out of your depth. + +EVELYN + +I don’t know what you mean. + +EDWARD + +This is reality, not fiction. + + [_BERRY enters._] + +BERRY + +You rang, sir? + +EDWARD + +Will you ask your mistress to come down immediately, please, Berry? It’s +very important. + +BERRY + +Yes, sir. + + [_He goes out._] + +EVELYN + + [_Panic-stricken_] + +Edward, this is not fair of you. + +EDWARD + + [_Unceremoniously_] + +Shut up. + +EVELYN + +This is between us. + +EDWARD + +The three of us, Evie—what’s known, I believe, as the eternal triangle. + +EVELYN + +Let me tell you one thing—what happened was not deliberate. + +EDWARD + +You prefer to be thought a fool rather than a cad! + +EVELYN + +Yes, if you like to put it that way. + +EDWARD + +How typical! + +EVELYN + +I only asked Carol to dine, in the first place, for your sake. + +EDWARD + +For my sake? + +EVELYN + +Yes, I intended to teach her a lesson. + +EDWARD + +And she ended up by teaching you one. + +EVELYN + + [_Utterly shocked_] + +Edward! + +EDWARD + +Men of your sort should stick to athletics and not attempt physiology. + +EVELYN + +I deserve that. + +EDWARD + + [_Agreeably_] + +Fully. + + [_CAROL enters from R. She starts visibly on seeing EVELYN._] + +CAROL + +What’s the matter? + +EDWARD + +Don’t look so surprised, Carol. It’s terribly irritating. + +CAROL + +I don’t understand. + +EDWARD + +I gather that you and Evie— + +EVELYN + + [_Wounded by such frankness_] + +Edward! + +CAROL + + [_Looking at EVELYN_] + +You cad! + +EDWARD + +It was very unpleasant of you, Carol— + +CAROL + + [_Appealingly_] + +Edward, please— + +EDWARD + +I should like to know how it all happened. + +EVELYN + +I told you—I— + +EDWARD + +Carol will you explain, please? + +CAROL + +Certainly not. + +EDWARD + +Very well. You must allow me to reconstruct it for myself. + +EVELYN + +Surely this is unnecessary. + +EDWARD + +That is entirely for me to decide. + +CAROL + +You’re being unbelievably cheap. + +EDWARD + + [_Mildly_] + +Really, Carol—keep a slight grip on your values. + +EVELYN + +Say what you like. I don’t care. + +EDWARD + +It wouldn’t make the slightest difference if you did. + +EVELYN + +Damned ungenerous. + +EDWARD + +Shut up and don’t be an ass. You and Carol have brought about this +abominable situation. It’s up to you to keep quiet and let me straighten +it out in my own way. + +EVELYN + + [_Turning away_] + +Very well. + +EDWARD + +Thank you. Now then—Evie, you asked Carol to dine with you alone at your +flat? + +EVELYN + +Yes. + +EDWARD + +Why? + +EVELYN + +I told you. + +EDWARD + +In order to teach her a lesson. + +CAROL + +Oh, this is insufferable. + +EDWARD + +You’re perfectly right, it is. I gather that the first part of the +lesson, Evie, necessitated you making love to her. Am I right? + +EVELYN + + [_Impatiently_] + +Oh yes— + +EDWARD + +And then what? + + [_Turning_] + +EVELYN + +Look here, Edward, I’m damned if I’m going to listen to this any longer— + +CAROL + +Neither am I! + +EDWARD + +Tell me the truth, then, Carol. It will simplify matters considerably. Do +you love Evie? + +CAROL + +No. + +EDWARD + +Then why, if it’s not an indelicate question, did you— + +CAROL + + [_Violently_] + +Because he insulted me and tried to humiliate me and I determined to show +him that he wasn’t as clever as he thought he was. + +EDWARD + +Admirable. You, Evie, had the ineffable conceit to pit your meager +experience of the world against an extremely attractive and obviously +unscrupulous woman. You then give in to her completely despite the +fact that she is the wife of your friend; and not content with that, +you turn on her afterward, work yourself up into a frenzy of false +melodramatic values, rush round here and blurt it out to me doubtless +under the delusion that by uncovering the whole shameful business you are +vindicating your own honor! Oh, Evie, what a pitiful fool you are! + +EVELYN + +It’s no use blackguarding me any more, is it? What are you going to do +about it? + +EDWARD + +I don’t quite know yet. + +CAROL + +There’s nothing to be done. + +EDWARD + +You’re too sure of yourself, Carol—you always have been. + +EVELYN + +I wish to God I had shot myself. + +EDWARD + +It’s a little late to think of that now. + +EVELYN + +You’re being unnecessarily cruel, Edward. + +EDWARD + +I’m afraid I’m a bitter disappointment to you both. You see emotionally +I’m unmoved. The capacity for feeling very deeply over Carol died a long +while ago. + +EVELYN + +I should have thought that for the sake of our friendship— + +EDWARD + +That’s sheer cant. You’ve considerably over-estimated our friendship for +years. If you care to analyze it honestly you’ll discover that we both +bore one another stiff and always have. We were at school together—in +different forms—since when we’ve dined together on an average of once +a month. We’ve confided our troubles superficially for the want of +something to talk about. We’re poles apart mentally and physically; we’ve +built up this so-called great friendship on a basis of false tradition, +and the only reason I realized it first is because my brain functions +quicker than yours— + +EVELYN + + [_Shattered_] + +Edward! + +EDWARD + +And I should like to add—having naturally a more acute sense of sex +psychology than you—that the reason you took such a fatal interest in +Carol’s morals was not on my account at all, but because she’d snubbed +you severely several times and you were probably very much attracted to +her. + +EVELYN + +It’s not true. You’re disgusting. + +EDWARD + +Be that as it may, the solution to the whole thing is obvious. + +EVELYN + +What do you mean? + +EDWARD + +I’ll tell you. Carol, you must go away immediately. + +CAROL + + [_Horrified_] + +Edward— + +EVELYN + + [_Stricken_] + +But—I—I— + +EDWARD + +Wait a moment. Let me explain. Carol, you and I have no longer the +slightest justification for living together. If you go away abroad +somewhere I will make it perfectly easy for you to divorce me. If you +don’t agree to this, I shall file a petition against you at once, naming +Evie as corespondent. That’s the second ultimatum I’ve delivered this +morning and I’m feeling extremely tired. + + [_He sits down._] + +CAROL + +Edward, you can’t mean this—you can’t. + +EDWARD + +I do. I mean it more than I’ve ever meant anything in my life. + +CAROL + + [_Bursting into tears of rage_] + +I won’t stand it. I won’t! + +EDWARD + +You’re not being very polite to Evie. + +EVELYN + +You think you’re being damned clever. + +EDWARD + +That’s been hurled at me so often just lately that I’m honestly beginning +to believe I am. + +CAROL + +You utter beast. + +EDWARD + +Well—what’s the decision? + +CAROL + + [_Wailing_] + +I’ll never speak to you again—never—never—never. + +EDWARD + + [_Rising_] + +Evie? + +EVELYN + + [_Gruffly_] + +You’d better give us time to think. + +EDWARD + +What is the time now, anyhow? + +EVELYN + + [_Looking at his watch_] + +Twenty past one. + +EDWARD + +My God! I knew I should be late. I’ll be at the Berkeley if you want me. + + [_EDWARD goes out. EVELYN and CAROL look after him and then at each + other._] + + [_CAROL after a pause walks over and sits next to EVIE._] + +CAROL + +Evie. + +EVIE + +What? + +CAROL + + [_Sweetly_] + +There’s still time for you to shoot yourself! + + CURTAIN + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75864 *** |