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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/75630-0.txt b/75630-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1bad0ed --- /dev/null +++ b/75630-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3224 @@ + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75630 *** + + + + + + FLASHLIGHTS + + + BY + MARY ALDIS + + AUTHOR OF + “THE PRINCESS JACK” + AND + “PLAYS FOR SMALL STAGES” + + [Illustration] + + NEW YORK + DUFFIELD & COMPANY + 1916 + + + + + Copyright, 1916, by MARY ALDIS + + + + +The author desires to make acknowledgement for permission to reprint +to _Poetry_, _The Little Review_, _The Masses_, _Others_, _The Trimmed +Lamp_, _The Survey_, _The Los Angeles Graphic_, _The Chicago Herald_ +and _The Chicago Evening Post_. + + + + + CONTENTS + + +I. CITY SKETCHES + PAGE + +The Barber Shop 3 +Love in the Loop 8 +Converse 12 +Window-wishing 16 +A Little Old Woman 20 + + +II. + +Design 27 +The World Cry 28 +Brown Sands 29 +Seeking 30 +May 11, 1915 31 +Watchers 32 +To Maurice Browne 35 +Prayers 37 +My Boat and I 39 +Pictures 42 +Forward, Singing! 44 +Barberries 46 +Two Paths 48 +When You Come 50 +Rest 52 +Moriturus Te Saluto 54 +Flashlights 56 +Floodgates 63 +Chloroform 69 +The Beginning of the Journey 75 + + +III. STORIES IN METRE + +The Prisoner 81 +Ellie 86 +The Park Bench 92 +The Sisters 105 +Reason 110 +Her Secret 115 +A Little Girl 117 + + + + +I + +CITY SKETCHES + + + _Go forth now, moods and metres, + Sing your song and tell your story; + You have companioned me + Through hours grave and gay, + What will you say + To him whose curious hand + Shall turn these pages?_ + + _Soon all my joy in setting forth + My vagrant thoughts + Shall pass + Into the silence; + Soon I shall be + One with the mystery._ + + _My book upon some quiet shelf + Beneath your touch + Shall wake, perhaps, + And speak again + My wonder, my delight, + My questioning before the night--_ + + _And as you read + Somewhere afar + I shall be singing, singing._ + + + + +_THE BARBER SHOP_ + + + I spend my life in a warren of worried men. + In and out and to and fro + And up and down in electric elevators + They rush about and speak each other, + Hurrying on to finish the deal, + Hurrying home to wash and eat and sleep, + Hurrying to love a little maybe + Between the dark and dawn + Or cuddle a tired child + Who blinks to see his father. + + I hurry too but with a sense + That Life is hurrying faster + And will catch up with me. + + Right in the middle of our furious activity + Two soft-voiced barbers in a little room, + White-tiled and fresh and smelling deliciously, + Flourish their glittering tools + And smile and barb + And talk about the war and stocks and the Honolulu earthquake + With equal impartiality. + + I like to go there. + Time seems slow and patient + While they tuck me up in white + And hover over me. + The room gives north and west and the sunset sky + Lights the grey river to a ribbon of glory + Where silhouetted tugs + Like tooting beetles fuss about their smoky businesses; + + Besides, in that high place + No curious passer-by + Can see my ignominious bald spot treated with a tonic, + Nor can a lady stop and bow to me, my chin in lather, + As happened once; + So I go there often + And even take a book. + + There’s another person all in white + Who comes and goes and manicures your nails + On application. + One can read with one hand while she does the other. + Because I feel that Life is hurrying me along + With horrid haste + Soon to desert me utterly, + I used to take my Inferno in my pocket + And reflect on what might happen + Were I among the usurers. + + One day a low-pitched voice broke in. + I listened vaguely, + What was the woman saying? + “Please listen for a moment, Mister Brown, + I’ve done your nails for almost half a year + You’ve never looked at me.” + I looked at that, + And sure enough the girl was young and round and sweet. + She coloured as I turned to her + And looked away. + I waited silently, enjoying her confusion. + The words had been shot out at me + And now apparently she wished them back. + “What do you want?” I said. + Again a silence while she rubbed away. + I opened my Inferno with an ironic glance + Towards Paradiso waiting just beyond. + “Well, rub away, my girl,” I thought, + “You opened up, go on.” + + The book provoked her. + “I’m straight,” she said. + “I never talked like this before. + The fellows that come round-- + Good Lord! + Showin’ me two pink ticket corners + Stickin’ out the pocket of their vest, + ‘Say, kid,--tonight,--you know,’ + Thinkin’ I’ll tumble + For a ticket to a show! + They make me sick, they do, + Boobs like that; + You’re different. I want to know + What’s in that book you read. + I want to hear you talk. + Oh, Mister, I’m so lonesome! + But I’m straight, I tell you. + I read, too, every evening in my room, + But I can’t ever find + The books you have. + I expect you think I’m horrid + To talk like this--but-- + I got some things by an Englishman + From the Public Library. + Say, they were queer! + He thinks a woman has a right + To say out if she likes a man; + He thinks they do the looking + Because they want-- + Oh, Mister, I’m so terribly ashamed + I’ll die when I get home, + An’ yet I had to speak-- + I’d be awful, awful good to you, if only, + Please, please, don’t think I’m like-- + Don’t think I’m one o’ them! + Whatever you say, don’t, don’t think that!” + + She stopped, and turned to hide her crying. + I looked at her again, + Looked at her young wet eyes, + At her abashed bent head, + Looked at her sweet, deft hands + Busy with mine.... + + But-- + Not for nothing + Were my grandfather and four of my uncles + Elders in the Sixth Presbyterian Church + Situated on the Avenue. + Oh not for nothing + Was I led + To squirm on those green rep seats + One day in seven. + + And now, + The white-tiled, sweetly-smelling barber shop + Is lost to me. + What a pity! + + + + +_LOVE IN THE LOOP_ + + + They sat by the fountain at a table for two, + The traditional couple-- + An awkward, ill-dressed girl, + With a lovely skin and a country smile, + And the man who was paying for her dinner. + There they were-- + Exploiter and Exploited. + + I could see only his back, clad in grey tweed. + His neck rolled over his collar + In a thick red fold, + And his hands, which he waved about, + Were fat and white with shiny nails + And diamond rings. + + I wondered if he was offering her better clothes + For the girl looked troubled. + Her shirt-waist wasn’t fresh, + Her skirt was draggled, + And her feet, curled up under the chair, + Shifted themselves uneasily, seeking cover + For most lamentable shoes; + But oh, her skin! + + Soft rose and the delicate white of summer mist. + Her hair was the brown of hazelnuts after a frost, + Glinting to saffron as she turned her head + Quickly from side to side + Like an enquiring dove. + + Soon oysters came; + She eyed them with distrust, + Then ate one thoughtfully and made a face. + He seemed concerned + And beckoned the waiter to remove the dish, + Asking if she’d rather have a “country sausage.” + She showed her baby teeth in a happy smile + And sausages were brought. + She ate them all while he watched her enviously, + Putting a little white pellet in some water + For his second course. + + Champagne was set before them and he filled her glass + While he turned his bottom side up. + She sipped, and made another face, and choked, + Then tried again and laughed. + “I do believe it’s good,” she said, + And finished the glass, + Holding it out for more. + “You’d best look out,” I heard him say + As he slid his hand along the table-cloth. + She cringed away. + “Oh, please, please don’t!” she said; + But he hitched his chair softly around the table. + + I watched it all, + Wondering miserably if it was my duty + To warn the girl, + And whether she would prove clinging if I did. + + Finally to secure her hands he turned himself. + My God, what a mug! + His beady eyes over his glistening cheeks + Blinked like a hurrying pig’s: + His protuberent lips wiggled themselves + In amourous expectancy + While little beads of ecstasy bedewed his brow. + I turned my chair around and raised my paper. + + Suddenly I heard her cry, “Oh, Mister! + That fuzzy stuff you made me drink--my head!” + And she grabbed her coat and slithered along the floor + To the front door, calling over her shoulder. + “Don’t come. I want some air, + I’ll be back in a minute or two.” + + After a startled forward step + He settled back and called the waiter, + Who hurried to busy himself expectantly + With the inevitable reckoning. + By the time it was ready, Mr. Amourous-One + Was deep in the stock reports and dead to the world. + The waiter stood on one foot and then on the other, + Finally wandering off. + + After some twenty minutes of troubled scrutiny + The paper was laid down, + And Mr. Amourous + Looked at his watch and jumped, + Then turned the bill and burrowed in his pocket, + Pulling out change. + Next came a leather wallet-- + And then what a bellowing rent the astonished air! + + “Eight hundred dollars gone!” he yelled. + “Hi! get that girl, I tell you, GET THAT GIRL!” + But nobody stirred. + Exploiter and Exploited-- + + + + +_CONVERSE_ + + + They were two disembodied heads on bath cabinets, + Just like “Une tête de femme” by Rodin, in a show, + Save that each head was topped + By a ruffled rubber cap, + One rose-lined grey, one brown. + They were two female heads, + And yet they were not pretty, + At least not then. + + They fixed their level-fronting eyes on a sanitary wall + In front of them + And waited. + The Bath Attendant turned a crank, + Consulted a thermometer, and vanished. + + Time draggled warmly by. + + Finally one head heaved a heavy sigh and turned itself + And looked at the other head, + Which bit its lip and frowned. + + Since names seem meaningless + When souls converse, + Let us call these souls quite simply Grey and Brown. + The one that heaved and turned itself was Brown; + The one that bit its lip was Grey. + + “Are you pretending that you didn’t see me?” + Queried Brown. + “Oh no!” said Grey. + + “I’ve been meaning to have a talk with you,” said Brown. + “And why not now?” + “And why not now?” said Grey. + + “You may as well understand,” continued Brown, + “You’ve got to give him up.” + “Him up?” said Grey. + + “That’s what I said,” said Brown. + “You very well know + His duty is to me. I bear his name, + I’ve given him seven children and a step, + All likely boys. + He’s very fond of them, you know.” + “I know,” said Grey. + + “Well, what have you got to say?” Brown trembled on. + “Why don’t you speak?” + Grey murmured softly, + “Isn’t it hot in these?” + + Brown looked at her and laughed. + “You’re pretty cool,” she said, + “But I’d like to tell you here and straight and now, + I’m tired of nonsense, + Tired of worrying, + And very, very tired of him and you.” + “Of him and me,” said Grey. + + “I’ve cried and then I’ve laughed + And said I didn’t care,” + Said whimpering Brown. + “I’ve dressed myself up beautifully + And then again I’d slump,” + Said sniffling Brown. + “But nothing mattered. + If he came home bright and gay, of course I’d know + He’d been with you, + And if he came home different, then I’d know + He wished he were, + So gradually it didn’t matter much + Which way he was. + And then I thought I’d try and keep + The boys from knowing, + So I’d make up lies and plan; + With seven and the step + It took considerable planning, + But luckily the little ones don’t notice. + And now I’ve got you here, I’m going to have my say!” + “Your say,” said Grey. + + “I’m going to get your promise here and now + To give him up for good, + Do you understand?” + “For good,” said Grey. + “Oh yes, I understand.” + + “Or else,” and beetling Brown + Grew dark and terrible, + “You’ll be the co-respondent in a suit!” + “A suit,” said Grey. + + “I said a suit,” said Brown, + “I mean a suit. + Moreover, as you haven’t said a word + I’ll bring it soon.” + “It soon,” said Grey. + + And then the Attendant came, + Looked at the clock and then the thermometer, + Got sheets and led them out. + + “Unless--” said Brown. + “Oh yes, unless--” said Grey. + + + + +_WINDOW-WISHING_ + + + Oh yes, we get off regular + By half past six, + And six on Saturdays. + Sister an’ I go marketing on Saturday nights, + Everything’s down. + Besides there’s Sunday comin’; + You can sleep, + Oh my, how you can sleep! + No mother shakin’ you + To “get up now,” + No coffee smell + Hurryin’ you while you dress, + No Beauty Shop to get to on the tick of the minute + Or pony up a fine. + Sister an’ I go window-wishin’ + Sunday afternoon, all over the Loop. + It’s lots of fun. + First she’ll choose what she thinks is the prettiest + Then my turn comes. + You mustn’t ever choose a thing + The other’s lookin’ at, + And when a window’s done + The one that beats + Can choose the first time when we start the next. + The hats are hardest + ’Specially when they’re turnin’ round and round. + But window-wishin’s great! + + Then there’s the pictures, + Bully ones sometimes, + Sometimes they’re queer. + Sister an’ I go in ’most every Sunday. + We took Mother ’long last week, + But she didn’t like ’em any too well. + Mother’s old, you know, + We have to kinda humour her. + Next day she couldn’t remember a single thing + But the lions on the steps. + + You know what happened the other night? + Sister and I didn’t know just what to do,-- + A gentleman came to see us. + He said Jim asked him to + Sometime when he was near. + Jim’s my brother, you know. + He lives down state. + We have to send him part of our wages regular, + Sister an’ I; + He doesn’t seem to get a steady place, + And Mother likes us to. + She’s dotty on Jim. + Sometimes I get real nasty-- + A great big man like that! + Anyway his friend came walkin’ in + And said Jim sent his love. + Sister an’ I didn’t exactly know what to do, + And Mother looked so queer! + Her dress was awful dirty. + He said he was livin’ in Chicago, + And Sister said she hoped + He had a place he liked. + He only stayed a little while, + Till half past eight, + And then he took his hat + From under the chair he was sittin’ on + And went away. + I said just now it happened the other night, + But it was seven weeks ago last Friday evening. + He said he’d come again. + I dunno as he will, + Sister an’ I keep wonderin’. + We dressed up-every night for quite a while + And stayed in Sundays. + Yesterday we thought + We’d go down window-wishin’ + And what do you think? + Just as she’d picked a lovely silver dress + Sister jerked my arm, + Then all of a sudden there she was + Cryin’ and snifflin’ in her handkerchief + Standin’ there on the sidewalk, + And what do you think she said? + “I’d like to kill the woman that wears that gown!” + I tell you I was scared, + She looked so queer, + But she’s all right today. + Oh thank you, two o’clock next Saturday the tenth? + I’ll put it down, + A shampoo and a wave, you said? + I’ll keep the time, + Good-morning. + + + + +_A LITTLE OLD WOMAN_ + + + There’s a twinkling little old woman + Brings me sandwiches after my Turkish bath. + Her cheeks are brown and pink, + And her eyes, behind her gold-bowed spectacles, + Smile in a curious fashion as if to say + “I know you’re worried about that letter in the pocket of your dress, + Hanging out there, but I’ll take care of it.” + + She sets the tray down on a chair beside my couch + And trots away to another languid lady in a sheet, + And as I fall asleep she says to me + “Don’t worry honey, I’ll take care of it.” + Perhaps it’s only in my dreams she says it, + But anyway she’s there. + + Once after she had hooked me up + She raised her sober dress + To show me that she too could wear a lace-trimmed petticoat; + And a dainty thing it was, with tiny rosebuds + Festooned all around. + She dropped her skirt and laughed. + “I’ve got one ... too,” she said. + This was uncanny, so I said Good-day. + + Next time I went I met him at the door + With a market basket! + It seems he brought the dainties every day + She made up into sandwiches for us who lolled about. + I took a look at him,-- + A delicate, chiselled face with soft blue eyes, + Under his chin from ear to ear a fringe of yellow down, + Around a bald spot, curls of whity-gold; + He blinked a little as she gave him charges + Then wandered thoughtfully away + Clutching his basket. + He wore a black frock coat too big for him, + And on his head, a round black hat like a French Curé’s. + + So that was why she wore the petticoat + And smiled so knowingly-- + But how she worked! + I wouldn’t work like that. + Perhaps she kept that little thing for pleasuring. + Well, this is a woman’s world, why not, + If so be that he pleased her? + + The steamy, scented atmosphere that day + Seemed teeming with intrigue; + I looked at the strapping, bare-legged wench + Who brought my sheet + Enquiring mutely, “Have you got a lover?” + And when a person next me roused herself + To ask the time, + I thought, “Ah-ha! He’s waiting!” + + It chanced when sandwiches were brought + I found myself alone + With her of the spectacles and petticoat. + I wanted to go to sleep, + But I wanted more to find out how + She got a lover, + And how she kept him. + + After some skirmishing I asked straight out, + “Was that your husband with the market basket?” + “My husband’s dead,” she said, and grinned + And took a chair beside my couch. + “Who is he, then?” I said. + “He’s mine,” she answered. “Mine! + I paid for him five hundred dollars cool, + And now he likes me!” + + I sat up at that. + “You paid for him?” I gulped. + “Why yes, he lived up-stairs, you know. + His heart is bad; he hadn’t any cash; + He got hauled up on a breach-of-promise suit; + I paid it for him. + Now he lives with me!” + + She emphasized her “me” triumphantly. + I looked her over. + Certainly there was something there of vividness, + Of quick vitality. + He and his funny hat and goldy curls-- + + Well, anything may be. + “Are you happy now?” I asked. + She smiled and bridled. + “The business pays,” she said. + “You ladies pay good prices for your food + And then the tips besides. + He gets the things for me and brings ’em fresh, + Then what do you suppose he does the rest of the time? + (His heart is bad, you know) + Writes verses all day long for the Sunday papers; + Mostly they don’t get in, + But every now and then he gets two dollars. + I bought him an Underwood last week. + He was so pleased, + Only the punctuation isn’t right. + It isn’t a second-hand; cost me a hundred and twenty-five; + I saved it up--” + + The bell rang and she rose. + “Say! please don’t tell them anything about-- + About--my husband.” + And she vanished. + + + + +II + + + + +_DESIGN_ + + + If all the world’s a stage, why do we know + Naught of the drama we the actors play? + Are we but puppets, we who come and go + Mumbling our parts through life’s quick-passing day? + + What if some master hand design the show + Planning a spacious pattern cunningly! + Time, color, drifting human shapes all go + Into a great discordant harmony: + + Let this one’s part be cast in delicate grey, + Let this a heavy purple shadow be, + Here let there come one clear, cold, bluish ray + And here--but hold! one actor suddenly + + In desperate rebellion cries his part-- + A scarlet tumult from his own hot heart. + + + + +_THE WORLD CRY_ + + + Joy, light, and love I crave + And shall discover-- + Life’s wild adventure opening to my will: + High thought and brave, + The rapture of a lover, + The Vision gleaming from yon western hill. + + Beyond my present sight + There lies some sweet allure, + Some crested glory waiting to be won; + Shimmering in light, + Beautiful and sure, + Beckoning bright hands that call me on. + + I know not where it lies, + Nor whither I go, nor how + The way is paved--with pleasure or with pain; + But the search is in my eyes, + And the dust upon my brow + Shall turn to aureoled gold when I attain. + + * * * * * + + Oh, old old hope-- + Unfulfilled desire! + Pitiful the faith, + Beautiful the fire! + + Know, soul who criest, + Thy gleaming from afar, + Thy quest of wild adventure, + Thy sweet far star + + Shall be the bitter path + To a high stern goal; + So bow thy head + To thine own soul. + + + + +_BROWN SANDS_ + + + My stallion impatiently + Stamps at my side, + Into the desert far + We two shall ride. + + Brown sands around us fly, + Winds whistle free, + The desert is sharing + Gladness with me. + + The madness of motion + Is mine again. + Forgotten forever + Sorrow and pain. + + Into the desert far + Swiftly we flee, + Knowing the passionate + Joy of the free. + + + + +_SEEKING_ + + + Swift like the lark + Out of the dark + One cometh, singing; + + Silent in flight + Out of the night + Answer is winging. + + Forth to the dawn + Leaps like a fawn + A cry of high greeting, + + Into the sun + Two that have run + Seeking, are meeting. + + + + +_MAY 11, 1915_ + + + A prayer is forming on my tightened lips-- + Lord grant that I may keep my soul from hate! + I have known love, I have been pitiful, + Lord, I would keep my grief compassionate! + + Pain-maddened cries I hear from out the sea, + Upstaring at me, faces of the dead; + Those silent bodies seem to call aloud, + Those silent souls are still and comforted. + + And we are here to bear the weight of pain-- + Oh, keep the poison from its awful task! + Lord, let me be as they are ere I hate, + Let me love on! this, this is what I ask! + + However long the way, there is a turning, + Somewhere beyond the storm there lies a land + Where Peace abides, where love shall live again, + And men shall greet with friendly outstretched hand + + While little children laugh, and women weep + With happiness--Oh, Lord, until that hour + Keep Thou my hope, keep Thou my tenderness, + Keep Thou my trust in Thy far-seeing power! + + + + +_WATCHERS_ + + + I watch the Eastern sky + For a sign of dawn + Long delayed. + Such stillness is around + That every separate sense + Is twice-attuned, twice-powerful, + And loneliness enwraps me like a sea + Into whose unplumbed depths I must go down: + A sea unsatisfied + Where drifting shapes, wan-eyed, + Reach forth wan arms + Towards them who pause to look at their own souls + Mirrored upon the sea. + + Somewhere a loon + Sends forth its weary cry across the dark. + Oh, wailing bird, I know, I know! + I think tonight the soul of the world is desolate + And you and I its watchers. + + Yet cease! oh cease! + The night air quivers and resounds + To bear your cry across the sleeping lake, + And I would have your silence + While I make + My own complaint. + + For I would ask why we who have so little space + To live and love and wonder + Must go down into eternal mystery + Alone: + And I would know + Why, since that awful loneliness must be, + We go about as strangers here on earth + And meet and laugh and mock and part again + With never a look into each others’ eyes, + With never a question of each others’ pain. + + So, even as I hear your melancholy plaint + Across the sleeping lake, + I send my questing cry across the world-- + And as I watch and listen, + Through the stillness + There comes to me an echoing and a far reverberation + Of the many who have gone + Into the limitless mystery, + And thus they speak-- + + “We too have known your questing, + We too have stretched our arms forth to the night + And clasped its nothingness, + We too have lived and loved and wondered + For a little space + And then gone onward, + And we seek across the silence + To send our voices + Out, out, across the dark.” + + Is it your voice I hear, oh far, strange bird, + Or is it theirs-- + Theirs who have gone onward + Alone and unafraid? + Is there an answer I may sometime find, + Or is it that our lips are dumb, + Our eyes are blind, + When love would come? + + * * * * * + + Now faint light comes upon the shadowy sky, + The East is waking and the day begins. + You send your cry across the quivering lake, + I send my question out across the world, + We watch, we two, + Alone. + + + + +_TO MAURICE BROWNE_ + +(_On his creation of Capulchard in Cloyd Head’s “Grotesques.”_) + + + Shadows are round me as the dawn breaks, + Shadows with long white swaying arms + And anguished faces. + I see them meet and touch and part + Crying their desire, + While a bitter figure moulds them + In a shifting decoration + Which enchants, eludes and maddens, + Imprisoning my dreams. + + Now they plead and droop and cower, + Holding wan hands + To whatever gods there be, + Praying intercession + From the malign enchantment + Of their decorative doom + Whence they weep their silent tears. + + Oh, Draughtsman terrible + Who puts out the moon and stars, + Who smiles and waves a hand + And puppet hearts are broken, + Let them love! + Only a moment in a theater, + Only a moment under the stars, + All there may be before the end-- + Let them love! + + * * * * * + + The show is over. + The swaying puppets of a little longer hour + Go forth and cry out their desire + To a Master of Decoration,-- + Their God unseen, + And He, like you, smiles, puts forth a hand + And blots the moon and stars + And tears the glory from the earth and sky + And cries: + “Back to your places, fools! + You shall not love!” + + + + +_PRAYERS_ + + + Day by day I tread my appointed way + Greeting the sun with dutiful intent, + Seeing his slow decline into the West, + Watching draw near my night of quietude. + + Each day I see fade slowly back to join + Those other days, unlived, unloved, unmourned, + That have passed by in grave processional + With never a golden one to mark their passing. + + Sometimes at night I ask the friendly stars + “Tell me, what do I here? Why have I breath + And this fair body in a world of shadows? + Why do I live?” + But the stars shine silently + And make no answer. + + Sometimes I ask of God, + “Dear Lord, I love Thee well + But Thou art far away-- + Couldst Thou not send to me + Someone on earth to love? + So should I love Thee more.” + But God sends no one. + + Sometimes I ask the far tumultuous sea, + “Oh Sea, give me of your great beating heart! + Let me be swept on the whirlwind, + Let me be lulled and rocked, + Let me be storm-tossed, made mad, + Then--let me perish!” + But the Sea roars on unheeding. + + So day by day I tread my appointed way + Greeting the sun with dutiful intent, + Seeing his slow decline into the West, + Watching draw near my night of quietude. + + + + +_MY BOAT AND I_ + + + My staunch little boat is tugging at its moorings + Eager to be free, + Eager to slip out on the great waters + Beyond the returning tides, + Out to the unknown sea. + + My staunch little boat, unwilling prisoner, + Frets and pulls at the anchor chain + While the wind calls, + “Come! come! + I will bear you + Out to the unknown sea!” + + Long time my boat and I have plied the harbour + On little busy journeyings intent, + Long time with wistful gazing + I have listened to the calling-- + The winds with buffeting caress, + The waves with ceaseless urge-- + Calling “Rest, rest, rest, + Rest on an unknown sea.” + + And now we are away + Into the mystery. + Quietly the swaying waters + Rock and beguile and soothe us + That we may not know + We are so far away. + + Along the shore + Are hands stretched out. + What would you with me now, + Oh pleading hands? + I come not to you any more, + I have set my sail + Out to the unknown sea, + Would you have me stay adventuring? + Would you have me come again + To be amidst you + With alien eyes and a heart unquiet? + + Oh cease your crying! + I come not back. + Long time my little boat and I + Have fretted at the mooring, + Long time we have looked out beyond the bar + With a great questioning, and a great wonder, + And then, an hour came which held the parting + And we slipped + Out, out, to the unknown sea. + + * * * * * + + The hands stretched out have faded from my sight, + The shore is dim, + The mountains fade into the limitless blue, + Only the wind and the sea companion me, + Singing + “Rest, rest, rest, + Rest on an unknown sea.” + + + + +_PICTURES_ + + + I saw a little boy go hurrying + Towards an old man nodding in the sun. + He tweaked him by the sleeve + And gazed at him with insistent frowning eyes + Asking his question. + The old man blinked and muttered + And the child let go his sleeve + And drooped and turned away. + + * * * * * + + I saw a mother counselling her daughter + About her lover, and the girl was sullen, + Looking from out averted eyes + For means to go to him; + And the mother bowed her head + And turned away. + + * * * * * + + I saw two lovers meet with hungry arms, + And kiss and speak and kiss again-- + Then speak with challenging tones and fall apart. + I saw them turn with tightened lips made dumb + And eyes quick-quenched and dark. + Slowly they went their ways. + + * * * * * + + I saw a woman kneeling in a church, + Her head was bent upon worn hands + Clasped tightly. + Her dress was black and poor. + After a time she rose and shook her head, + Then beat her fist upon the rail + And clattered noisily down the aisle. + At the door she paused, + Narrowed her eyes at the holy water + And passed on. + + + + +_FORWARD, SINGING!_ + + + Listen, girl, stand there near me, + Give me your two fluttering hands, + Then listen. + + Little hurrying human beings + Are important and significant + Only in so far as they can stand alone. + Most of them stand sideways, + Propping themselves + Against this brother or that brother + Or this sister or that sister, + Leaving each prop + Only to carom swiftly to the next. + + Now shall not every one of these + Sometime discover + If his prop fall down + He falls as well? + + Listen, beautiful child, + I would carve my destiny alone! + As a keen-eyed captain steers his ship + By the light of the far north star + Awake, alert, alone. + + So, laughing girl + Whom I call to my side, + Hear! + I stand by myself. + I can love, aye, with a fierce flame, + But I love none so much, no man, no woman, + That his passing or his forgetfulness + Shall undo me. + I and my soul + Stand beyond the need of comforting. + None has power to make me + Helpless, incomplete, beholden. + + Now, bright child, golden girl, + Warm woman with the fluttering hands + Whom desire has brought, + Will you come to my arms? + I will give you love, + No other lover can give you love like mine, + Come! + + Ah, that is well: + Quick, your mouth, + And then forward, singing! + + But,--if you had not come, + Laughing girl, + I would have gone forward singing + Alone! + + + + +_BARBERRIES_ + + + You say I touch the barberries + As a lover his mistress? + What a curious fancy! + One must be delicate, you know, + They have bitter thorns. + You say my hand is hurt? + Oh no, it was my breast, + It was crushed and pressed-- + I mean--why yes, of course, of course-- + There is a bright drop, isn’t there? + Right on my finger, + Just the color of a barberry, + But it comes from my heart. + + Do you love barberries? + In the autumn + When the sun’s desire + Touches them to a glory of crimson and gold? + I love them best then. + There is something splendid about them; + They are not afraid + Of being warm and glad and bold, + They flush joyously + Like a cheek under a lover’s kiss, + They bleed cruelly + Like a dagger wound in the breast, + They flame up madly for their little hour, + Knowing they must die-- + Do you love barberries? + + + + +_TWO PATHS_ + + + Today it seemed God bent to me and said, + “Pilgrim, you are weary, are you unaware + You have two paths?” + And I answered, wondering, + “Tell me of them that I may choose.” + And God said + “You have set your face towards a far goal, + To be attained + Only with heartbreak of endeavor. + It is written should you choose this path + Many times you shall faint and falter, + Raising yourself with bruised hands + And bewildered eyes, + And when at last + You see the ending of the journey, + Before eternal silence comes, + You shall hear + A little clamouring and tinkling of men’s voices: + But you will smile quietly + And turn away.” + + “And the other path?” I asked. + In a different voice God said, + “The other path is short, + It ends but a little way ahead, + There is no attainment, no acclaim; + Only darkness, quiet, + Rest from desire, + And memory + In the heart of the beloved.” + + And I answered, + “I have chosen.” + + + + +_WHEN YOU COME_ + + (“There was a girl with him for a time. She took him to her room when + he was desolate and warmed him and took care of him. One day he could + not find her. For many weeks he walked constantly in that locality in + search of her.”--From Life of Francis Thompson.) + + + When you come tonight + To our small room + You will look and listen-- + I shall not be there. + + You will cry out your dismay + To the unheeding gods; + You will wait and look and listen-- + I shall not be there. + + There is a part of you I love + More than your hands in mine at rest; + There is a part of you I love + More than your lips upon my breast. + + There is a part of you I wound + Even in my caress; + There is a part of you withheld + I may not possess. + + There is a part of you I hate-- + Your need of me + When you would be alone, + Alone and free. + + When you come tonight + To our small room + You will look and listen-- + I shall not be there. + + + + +_REST_ + + + Often I have listened curiously + To the sound of a simple word + All seemed to know, + And wondered why I could not find + Its meaning. + + Often I have dreamed + Of that great Nothingness, + That Silence which shall come, + And asked if that + Were rest. + + To the unquiet sea + I have gone down + Seeking companionship, + Calling out to the beating waves + “Do you too ask for rest?” + + Of the wind and the rain + Singing their requiem + Over dead summer + I have asked, + “You will be quiet soon; + Where do you find rest?” + + To the white moon + Sailing serenely + I have said, + “You are dim and old and cold; + Have you found rest?” + + To the eternal sun + Uprising solemnly + I have cried out, + “And this new day you bring, + Will it hold my rest?” + + Once to my heart tumultuous + There came a gleaming, + A far prophecy that like a fairy benison descending + Gave answer to my questioning-- + Strange message lit with wonderment-- + + “Deep in the city’s labyrinthine heart + There shall be moonlight for us and white song.” + So ran the words, + And like a diapason of sweet sound + Across the stillness, + Echoing, profound, + There crept the promise,--rest. + + And then--you came. + I turned to find your hand, your arms, your breast. + Deep in the city’s labyrinthine heart + You held me close, at rest. + + + + +_MORITURUS TE SALUTO_ + + + When one goes hence + By his own hand alone + We look aside. + In a hushed tone + We say--“What pain has gone before + The sudden end?” + + But I shall go + Because I know + No longer can the earth + Hold any other joy for me + Like this. + + One night we had together, + Only one. + In all the years + For all my tears + The gods have given me + Only one night, + And it is over. + + Now I am glad to go + Into the Silence. + I have breathed the heights. + I should but know + The level ways and paths + Of little valleys, + I will not, this should be. + + So, Beloved, + Remember + It is because of happiness, + Not sorrow, + That I go. + From the far coolness + Of eternity + I shall look out + To the grave stars, + Singing. + + + + +_FLASHLIGHTS_ + + + The winter dusk creeps up the Avenue + With biting cold. + Behind bright window panes + In gauzy garments + Waxen ladies smile + As shirt-sleeved men + Hustle them off their pedestals for the night. + + Along the Avenue + A girl comes hurrying, + Holding her shawl. + She stops to look in at the window. + “Oh Gee!” she says, “look at the chiffon muff!” + A whimpering dog + Falters up to cringe against her skirt. + + A man in his shirt sleeves lolls against a tree, + His feet stick out, + His hands lie on the grass, palms up. + He stares ahead. + Now and again he turns himself + As from the enshrouding darkness forms emerge + Dragging their feet, arms interlocked, + Wan faces raised to the flare of light. + Sometimes these kiss, + Scream in brief laughter, or throw their bodies + Prone on the welcoming earth. + The man watches them, then turns his head, + Gets himself upon his feet + And walks away. + + Candles toppling sideways in tomato cans + Sputter and sizzle at head and foot. + The gaudy patterns of a patch-work quilt + Lie smooth and straight + Save where upswelling over a silent shape. + A man in high boots stirs something on a rusty stove + Round and round and round, + As a new cry like a bleating lamb’s + Pierces his brain. + After a time the man busies himself + With hammer and nails and rough-hewn lumber + But fears to strike a blow. + Outside the moonlight sleeps white upon the plain + And the bark of a coyote shrills across the night. + + A woman rocking, rocking, rocking, + A small hand waving, nestling: + Outside, lights blurred to starriness + And summer rain. + + * * * * * + + Little waves slap softly and monotonously + Against the pier: + A triangle of geese honk by; + On the darkening sand + Fresh lines traced with a stick-- + “I am sorry, Forgive,” + And a little oblong mound with a cross of twigs. + Near by a girl’s hat and dainty scarf. + + A smell of musk + Comes to him pungently through the darkness. + On the screen + Scenes from foreign lands + Released by the censor + Shimmer in cool black and white + Historic information. + He shifts his seat sideways, sideways-- + A seeking hand creeps to another hand, + And a leaping flame + Illuminates the historic information. + + Within the room, sounds of weeping + Low and hushed: + Without, a man, beautiful with the beauty + Of young strength, + Holds pitifully to the handle of the door. + He hiccoughs and turns away + While a hand organ plays + “The hours I spend with thee, dear heart.” + + A pink feather atop of a greying white straw hat, + A peek-a-boo waist and skirt showing a line of stocking + Above white shoes, + Stand in front of a judge + Who leans over a desk of golden oak + And summons forward a sulky, slouching boy. + “You are required by this Court,” says the judge, + “To pay over to this woman + One-third of your weekly wage + For the support of your innocent child.” + And the clerk of the court calls out + “Next on the docket?” + + + + +_FLOODGATES_ + + +THE MAN + + Dear, try to understand. + I wish that you could see, + Now I am free + Of all the fret and torment, + The little daily miseries of love, + That I can take you in my arms at night + With a quick tenderness, + With a new delight, + Yet go my way untroubled if I do not find you, + Forgetting in my zest for many things + There is a you. + + I wonder if you can ever understand? + Do you not know + That I would go + Forth now to meet life’s great adventuring + Alone? + + I would be unloosed from why and wherefore, + I would not be stayed + By sorrowing or rejoicing, + Even the enchantment of your nearness, + Or your touch at night + Is powerless any more + To come between my loneliness and me. + + They say that prisoners grow to love their chains, + So now, after long years of bitter reaching out, + Of crying to the winds + And clasping only shadows of my dreaming, + I love my torment. + + We are such old companions, + Loneliness and I! + We have learned to ask but little of each other; + There is no longer any turning away + With hurt, averted eyes; + So, Beloved, + Let me keep my loneliness for friend, + The only friend I trust. + + When you and I first met + And looked to each other’s eyes + Our swift desire, + I gave with reckless hands + My life into your keeping. + Upon your eyes, your words, your body’s grace + I hung, poor fool, a-tremble; + For you had power + To blot the brightening day, + To irradiate the night, + With your sweet hands + To lift me to the mountains where the spirits danced + Or drag me through a hell of furious pain. + + And you would like to have that power again + In your two hands? + Oh no, my little one, + No, my pretty one, + Henceforward + For all your sighing + You shall but have my sudden, strong caresses, + My tenderness, my love, + But know + That out, out, out I go + Into the sun + Alone. + + +THE WOMAN + + So, Man of mine! + I may henceforward ask + Only your strong caresses? + I am your little one, + I am your pretty one, + Even your Beloved, now that you are free + Of little fret and torment. + I may give you pleasuring, + But no more pain. + Is that your meaning? + I would be clear at last. + Oh Man of mine, + We are standing face to face, + Now let there shine + The search-light of our speech + Across the night of silence. + + Before us two + There lie dim years for traversing, + Behind, a mist + Through which we long time groped + With futile hands, + And now, today, we meet. + + Dear, do I not know + That there were gleams across the darkness-- + Swift lightenings + Towards which we onward pressed + As, for an instant, + Seeing our far quest + Within our grasp? + Perhaps these were your beckoning hands, + Your dancing spirits on the mountain peaks, + But not for long we saw them. + And now today it seems + That I must find + What shall be done + When you go out alone + Into the sun. + + I have so often watched your silent face, + Your quiet mouth, + Your smooth, white brow, + And longed for speech! + I have so often wished to tell + Of pent-up treasures in my breast + You could not find! + I would have given you such golden wealth + Had you but come! + Had you but said “I want your all.” + But you were dumb. + + You went your ways silently + And never asked my gift. + Dear, day by day I lifted to your lips + A chalice brimming with rich wine, + And you but sipped a little and turned away, + And the wine was spilled. + + The years have passed: + There may not be upgathering + Of wasted days, + As seasons flushed and waned + We have sown and reaped and harvested. + Now, what shall come? + + I cannot go forth + As you, into the Sun + Alone, + I cannot take + My loneliness by the hand + For chosen friend, as you. + I am a woman and I want + Not tenderness, + Not strong caresses only, + But the soul of you, + My Man. + + +THE MAN + + Dear, give me your hands, + Look into my eyes and tell me + If you can find the soul of me. + I think it has gone questing. + Call it back! + Recapture the wingèd thing, + And I will give it gladly + Into your keeping. + But, dear heart, be fearful-- + Souls are delicate. + What if mine died long since, + What time it gave up seeking + To find your own? + Your eyes are wet, forgive! + Let there be no more hurting, + Joy there has been in our meeting. + I would banish weeping. + Let the still waters wash away pain + Into the sea of forgetting. + Still may we look into each other’s eyes, + Still answer to the senses’ quick demand, + But as the years have marked us in their passing + So must we go onward-- + Hand in hand still, + Yet alone. + + + + +_CHLOROFORM_ + +(_Written in collaboration with Arthur Davison Ficke._) + + + A sickening odour, treacherously sweet, + Steals through my sense heavily. + Above me leans an ominous shape, + Fearful, white-robed, hooded and masked in white. + The pits of his eyes + Peer like the portholes of an armoured ship, + Merciless, keen, inhuman, dark. + The hands alone are of my kindred; + Their slender strength, that soon shall press the knife + Silver and red, now lingers slowly above me, + The last links with my human world ... + + ... The living daylight + Clouds and thickens. + Flashes of sudden clearness stream before me,--and then + A menacing wave of darkness + Swallows the glow with floods of vast and indeterminate grey. + But in the flashes + I see the white form towering, + Dim, ominous, + Like some apostate monk whose will unholy + Has renounced God; and now + In this most awful secret laboratory + Would wring from matter + Its stark and appalling answer. + At the gates of a bitter hell he stands, to wrest with eager fierceness + More of that dark forbidden knowledge + Wherefrom his soul draws fervor to deny. + + The clouds have grown thicker; they sway around me + Dizzying, terrible, gigantic; pressing in upon me + Like a thousand monsters of the deep with formless arms. + I cannot push them back, I cannot! + From far, far off, a voice I knew long ago + Sounds faintly thin and clear. + Suddenly in a desperate rebellion I strive to answer,-- + I strive to call aloud,-- + But darkness chokes and overcomes me: + None may hear my soundless cry. + A depth abysmal opens, + Receives, enfolds, engulfs me,-- + Wherein to sink at last seems blissful + Even though to deeper pain.... + + O respite and peace of deliverance! + The silence + Lies over me like a benediction. + As in the earth’s first pale creation-morn + Among winds and waters holy + I am borne as I longed to be borne. + I am adrift in the depths of an ocean grey + Like seaweed, desiring solely + To drift with the winds and waters; I sway + Into their vast slow movements; all the shores + Of being are laved by my tides. + I am drawn out toward spaces wonderful and holy + Where peace abides, + And into golden æons far away. + + But over me + Where I swing slowly, + Bodiless in the bodiless sea, + Very far, + Oh very far away, + Glimmeringly + Hangs a ghostly star + Toward whose pure beam I must flow resistlessly. + Well do I know its ray! + It is the light beyond the worlds of space, + By groping, sorrowing man yet never known-- + The goal where all men’s blind and yearning desire + Has vainly longed to go + And has not gone:-- + Where Eternity has its blue-walled dwelling-place, + And the crystal ether opens endlessly + To all the recessed corners of the world, + Like liquid fire + Pouring a flood through the dimness revealingly; + Where my soul shall behold, and in lightness of wonder rise higher + Out of the shadow that long ago + Around me with mortality was furled. + + I rise where have winds + Of the night never flown; + Shaken with rapture + Is the vault of desire. + The weakness that binds + Like a shadow is gone. + The bonds of my capture + Are sundered with fire! + + This is the hour + When the wonders open! + The lightning-winged spaces + Through which I fly + Accept me, a power + Whose prisons are broken-- + + * * * * * + + ... But the wonder wavers-- + The light goes out. + I am in the void no more; changes are imminent. + Time with a million beating wings + Deafens the air in migratory flight + Like the roar of seas--and is gone ... + And a silence + Lasts deafeningly. + In darkness and perfect silence + I wander groping in my agony, + Far from the light lost in the upper ether-- + Unknown, unknowable, so nearly mine. + And the ages pass by me, + Thousands each instant, yet I feel them all + To the last second of their dragging time. + Thus have I striven always + Since the world began. + And when it dies I still must struggle ... + + * * * * * + + The voice I knew so long ago, like a muffled echo under the sea + Is coming nearer. + Strong hands + Grip mine. + And words whose tones are warm with some forgotten consolation, + Some unintelligible hope, + Drag me upward in horrible mercy; + And the cold once-familiar daylight glares into my eyes. + + He stands there, + The white apostate monk, + Speaking low lying words to soothe me. + And I lift my voice out of its vales of agony + And laugh in his face, + Mocking him with astonishment of wonder. + For he has denied; + And I have come so near, so near to knowing.... + Then as his hand touches me gently, I am drawn up from the lonely abysses, + And suffer him to lead me back into the green valleys of the living. + + + + +_THE BEGINNING OF THE JOURNEY_ + + + Where are you, Dear? + What is it that I hold-- + A shape, a phantom, who will not ease my pain? + O Beloved! My beloved! + What is it comes between our seeking arms? + Lip to lip we press + And breast to breast, + Straining to overleap the barrier, + And all the while we know + We are apart. + We know tomorrow we shall be + More horribly + Alone. + + Do you remember + When we first cried out each to each? + How the valleys rang with laughter and gay words + And eager promises? + Do you remember how we told each other + Pain was over, + That nothing now could come + We could not still with kisses? + Do you remember those first days + When the world was lost in a dream and a forgetting + And eternity was ours? + + Then, as the years followed, + Do you remember how we found + That pain must be? + How, heavy-hearted, we gazed bewildered + Into each other’s eyes, + Asking, why? + + One night you would not speak, + And when I pressed you for your cause of silence + You said “I tried to tell you once + My heart’s dim heaviness, + But you are a man, you can never understand.” + And then I saw + That we were far away from one another, + For I had thought the same. + + And after + In a quick ache of sympathy + We kissed and clung, + And then you slept. + I heard the little sobbing breaths + Like a hurt child’s + Of a loneliness I had no power to soothe. + We asked so much! + We looked to each other as some look to God, + And when God came not + And our lifted hands were empty + We cried out that love was dead. + + We have grown patient since + And pitifully wise, + We see how little may be given, + And we are thankful + Lest there be nothing. + Yet even when I lay my wearied head + Upon your knees and fall asleep + To waken with your hand on my hot brow, + Then, when I thank God, if there be a God, + For you-- + We are apart. + + Yesterday I watched you + Protect the child against the winter cold. + Warmly you wrapped him + While his baby face laughed back at you + From its frame of softest fur: + I think a great hand comes and wraps us so, + Each in his loneliness as in an enfolding garment, + That we shall be ready + To make our last great journeying + Alone. + + As the years go onward + Little by little we turn + And draw away from love’s dominion, + Little by little we loose the clinging hands + That hinder from adventuring, + Oftener and more often + We go apart + To ask ourselves + The inevitable question. + The friends we seek are questioners + Who strive, like us, to cross with thoughts + The illimitable void: + + Therefore, Dear, give over + Trying to comfort, + Give over the wish to yield me + All I need-- + + Once long ago I lost myself in you, + Once long ago I was but part of you, + Bereft without you, + Mad for lack of you, + Now I am I, + Preparing to go onward + When the end shall come + Alone. + + + + +III + +STORIES IN METRE + + + + +_THE PRISONER_ + + + “We had a prisoner once,” the Warden said, + “Who was no common man. I could not say + To make it clear, where lay the difference, + And yet, and yet,--something was there I know.” + + “Tell me of him,” I said, drawing a chair, + Knowing that in the old man’s heart there lay + Many a story. + + “Willingly,” he answered, + “Yet when all’s said, you’ll know no more than I + Why his words puzzle me; why, when I pass + His cell, I always think that I can see + His eyes, his following eyes, that seemed to ask + Over and over again, some kind of question.” + + He thought a moment, then began his story + As if by careful measuring of his words + He tried to make me see what he found dim. + + “You know the row of cells,” he said, “they built + To make the fourth row ’round the hollow square? + They front the East, and so I put him there. + I’d hardly like to say what was the reason,-- + It seems so foolish; but, the day he came, + Just as the big door opened, I had seen + Him turn his head, and this is what he said: + ‘And it is I,--I, who have loved the Dawn!’ + A queer thing, wasn’t it? I suppose he thought + That he would never see it any more. + + “It’s strange how little things come back to you! + I can remember when he saw his cell + He bent his head, making a kind of greeting, + Then quickly stepped across and glanced around: + ‘And this is what I have to call my home’ + Was what he thought, I guess. It always seems + To sicken me somehow, to show ’em in, + The hopeful ones the most, I know so well + How soon the eager look will disappear!” + + “But tell me what he was in prison for?” + I said, and met the old man’s quick “What for? + Oh well, there wasn’t room enough outside. + Why do you want to know? What does it matter? + He was no common man. You’d think by now + I’d stop my foolish bothering. I’m used + Enough, God knows, to tangled human threads-- + Oh what’s the use to try and tell it now? + I’m such a fool! I can’t go by his cell + Without the wondering clutching at me here!” + He laid his hand upon his breast; I thought + His mind had dwelt too long with pain, and now + His fancies troubled him. “Mad then, perhaps?” + I asked, and saw my blundering words had been + Salt to a wound. He turned away and said + “No, no, he was not that, not mad,” and stepped + Beside a shelf of little useless things + Fumbling among them. + + Presently he turned + And placed within my hands a woman’s picture. + I took it silently, afraid to comment. + “Think what you please,” he said, “for I don’t know, + As no one came to take away his things + I kept the picture. It was dear to him.” + + A gentle woman’s face looked up at me; + A tender face, lips parted, young grave eyes. + I seemed to see within their depths a question, + And turned to meet the old man’s twisted smile. + Nodding, he murmured, “So, you see it too?” + Then took the picture from me and began + Again, though haltingly, his troubled tale. + + “At first he read and spoke and ate his food + As if he thought he would not be here long + And must be patient. Often he would ask + What time it was, or if it rained or shone, + Begging for outside news, and when I brought + Letters or papers, seized them greedily + And strained his eyes to get the contents quickly. + Sometimes he’d hail me as I passed along + With such a flow of eager questioning talk, + I wondered anyone so rich in words + Could bear his solitude and not go mad + With silence; but--our prison rules are stern. + I shot the bolts that dulled that silver voice, + And now I hear it echoing down the years.” + + The old man rose and made a little pretence + To put the picture back upon the shelf. + + “Well, time went on,” seating himself, he said, + “And as I made my rounds each day I thought + The prisoner seemed to draw himself away. + Not rudely; more as if he could not break + The current of his thoughts, and up and down + He’d walk; they all do that, but he as if + He had some light inside his mind. Don’t think + I’m crazy, but,--it’s hard to put in words. + Sometimes I’d have my little try to break + Across the distance. With a sudden smile + He’d lay his hand upon me--‘Yes, I know, + I know,’ and so would push me to the door. + I feared to go to him, and yet I loved + The man as if he’d been my son. I knew + The end was coming soon. My heart was sore, + But I was powerless. + + “One thing alone + Could wean him from his strange expectancy, + A little written word that came half-yearly. + I knew that it was due, and when it came + I beat upon his door; I had the letter-- + Slowly he turned to meet me and I stopped, + Seeing it was too late. + + “Then from my hands + He took the letter, lifting it silently, + The way a priest lifts up the sacrament, + Then gave it slowly back to me and said, + ‘Why bring me bread? So little, little bread? + Why eke my life along so grudgingly? + Take back the letter, I am far away, + Keep back the bread and I shall sooner know.’ + And followed by his eyes, I left the cell + And soon he died. + + “No no, he was not mad, + But only one to whom the Dawn was real.” + + + + +_ELLIE_ + + + She came to do my nails. + Came in my door and stood before me waiting, + A great big lummox of a girl-- + A continent. + Her dress was rusty black + And scant, + Her hat, a melancholy jumble of basement counter bargains. + Her sullen eyes, + Like a whipped animal’s, + Shone out between her silly bulging cheeks and puffy forehead. + + She dropped her coat upon a chair + And waited; + Then, at a word, busied herself + With files and delicate scissors, + Sweet-smelling oils and my ten finger-tips. + + She proved so deft and silent + I bade her come again; + And twice a week + While summer dawned and flushed and waned + She used me in her parasitic trade. + The dress grew rustier, + The hat more melancholy, + And Ellie fatter. + + Each time she came I wondered as she worked + If thought lay anywhere + Behind that queer uncouthness. + She had a trick of seizing with her eyes + Each passing thing, + An insatiate greediness for something out of reach; + And yet she seemed enwrapped + In a kind of solemn patience, + Large, aloof and waiting. + We hardly ever spoke-- + I could not think of anything worth saying; + One does not chatter with a continent. + Finally it was homing time; + The seashore town was raw and desolate + And idlers flitted. + The last day Ellie came + Her calm was gone, she had been crying. + Fat people never ought to cry; + It’s awful.... + The hot drops fell upon my hand + While Ellie dropped the scissors suddenly + And sniffed and blew and sobbed + In disconcerting and unreserved abandonment. + I said the usual things; + I would have patted her but for the grease, + But Ellie was not comforted. + + Not until the storm was spent + And only little catching breaths were left + I got the reason. + “I’m so fat,” she gulped, “so awful, awful fat + The boys won’t look at me.” + And then it came, the stammered, passionate cry: + Could I not help? + Could I not find a medicine? + We talked and talked + And when at dusk she went, a teary smile + Hovered a moment on her mouth + And in those sullen, swollen eyes + A little hope perhaps; + I did not know. + + The city and its interests soon engulfed me. + A letter or two, + A doctor’s vague advice to bant and exercise, + And Ellie and her woes passed from my mind + Until, as summer dawned again, + I heard that she was dead. + A curious letter written stiffly, + From Ellie’s mother, + Told me I was invited to the funeral + “By wish of the Deceased.” + + Wondering I travelled to the little town + Where the sea beat and groaned + And sorrowed endlessly, + And made my way down the steep street + To Ellie’s door. + Her mother met me in the hall + And motioned, + “She wanted you to see her,” + Then ushered me into an awful place, the parlor-- + A place of emerald plush and golden oak + Set round with pride and symmetry, + And in the midst + A black and silver coffin-- + Ellie’s coffin. + Raising the lid she pointed and I looked. + + Somewhere in Florence Mino da Fiesole + Has made a tomb + Where deathless beauty lies with upturned face. + Two gentle hands, palms meeting, + Touch with their pointed forefingers + A delicate chin, and over the vibrant body + Clings a white robe + Enshrouding chastely + Warm curving lines of adolescent grace. + No sleeper this,-- + The figure glows, alert, awake, aware, + As if some sudden ecstacy had stolen life + And held imprisoned there + The moment of attainment + Rapt, imperishable and fair. + + Even so lay Ellie, + And when from somewhere far I heard + The mother’s voice + I listened vacantly. + + The woman chattered on, + “The dress you know, white chiffon, like a wedding dress-- + I never knew she had it, + She must ’a made it by herself. + It’s queer it fitted perfectly + An’ her all thin like that-- + She must ’a thought--” + + Then black-robed relatives came streaming in + To look at Ellie. + I watched them start + And glance around for explanation. + The mother pinched my arm: + “Don’t ask me anything now,” she whispered; + “Come back tonight.” + + Then old, old words were sung and prayed and droned, + While everybody dutifully cried, + And when the village parson + Rhythmically proclaimed, + And this mortal shall put on immortality,-- + With a great welcoming + And a great lightening + I knew at last the ancient affirmation. + + When evening came I found the mother + Sitting amidst her golden oak and plush + In a kind of isolated stateliness. + She led me in. + “’Twas the stuff she took that did it,” + She began; “I never knew till after she was dead. + The bottles in the woodshed, hundreds of ’em + All labelled ‘Caldwell’s Great Obesity Cure + Warranted Safe and Rapid.’ + Oh ain’t it awful?” and she fell to crying miserably; + “But wasn’t she real pretty in her coffin?” + And then she cried again + And clung to me. + + + + +_THE PARK BENCH_ + + +A STRANGER, A MAN, A WOMAN + + _The pallid night wind touched their burning cheeks + With fetid breath, whispered a dim distress + And flickered out; while whirling insects danced + Their crazy steps with death around the light._ + +THE STRANGER + + The night is hot and the crowds intolerable, + May I sit here between you on this bench? + +THE MAN + + I s’pose the bench is free to anybody. + +THE STRANGER + + I’ve been walking up and down and wondering + If I should speak. You sat here silently, + You two. I could not tell what troubled you. + +THE WOMAN + + I guess I was thinkin’, Mister. I didn’t know + There was any other person anywhere near. + +THE MAN + + I don’t know who she is. She’s nothin’ to me. + She’s got a kid there in her shawl, maybe + Her trouble’s there. + +THE STRANGER + + It’s hard to keep up courage; + The heat is sickening, it weighs you down. + I’d like to see the child; may I see its face? + +THE WOMAN + + He’s two weeks old today. + +THE STRANGER + + A sturdy youngster! + What do you call him? What’s his name, I mean? + Don’t turn away. I meant no harm, you know. + +THE MAN + + Didn’t I tell you? Something’s wrong, I guess. Maybe + He’s deserted, with another comin’ on. + Ask her again; likely she’s needin’ help. + +THE STRANGER + + You seem unhappy. Can’t you tell me why? + I’d like to help you if I can, because-- + Well, once I had a little son like that. + Come! what have you got to tell? Out with the story. + See there, the boy is stretching out a hand, + He knows a friend is somewhere ’round, eh, Sonny? + +THE WOMAN + + You’d like to know what I have got to tell? + I guess you don’t know what you’re askin’, Mister. + You see that big house over there? You see + This baby blinkin’ here? Well, that’s the house + His father lives in. I just found it out, + Found where it was, I mean, then I come here-- + Oh, what’s the sense o’ tellin’ any more? + That’s all there is, I guess. + +THE STRANGER + + I’d like the story; + Sometimes the pain is eased by speaking out. + +THE WOMAN + + I don’t know why you want to know about me, + It’s no concern of yours, but if you’ll promise + You’ll let him be, I’ll tell you all there is. + +THE STRANGER + + You have my promise. + +THE WOMAN + + More’n a year ago + It was, I seen him first, an’ ’twasn’t long + Before I thought a lot and so did he. + He said he’d take a flat and furnish it + And we’d keep house together all alone. + He said he had to travel, but he’d come + As often as he could, and stay as long. + I’d worked, you know; I never had a place + I liked to live in, an’ he let me buy + A lot of things I wanted; then he’d laugh + And say I liked the flat so much, perhaps + He’d better stay away and not muss up + The tidies on the chairs. He always had + A lot of money. When he gave me some + He’d never say how much it was, but just, + “Here’s more to buy the tidies with,” and laugh. + It wasn’t long--that little time. I like + To think about it, but it seems so far! + Just like another city or a place + That wasn’t any more; I don’t know why, + I guess the flat’s there still, if I should go-- + Hush, honey, hush--don’t you be cryin’ now. + + I s’pose I’d ought to tell you that he said + I mustn’t have the kid. I didn’t care; + I didn’t want it, neither. When I knew, + I had to tell, because I got so sick. + He didn’t say a word to make me cry, + Not much of anything. He put a lot + Of money in the drawer and went away-- + I never seen him since, until--today. + Until--today--over there, this afternoon + I seen him laughin’ with another kid, + And mine right here, right here, do you understand? + +THE STRANGER + + I think I understand, but please go on. + +THE WOMAN + + I told you he’d put money in the drawer; + I hated takin’ it; but o’ course it lasted + For quite a while,--until I had to go + And be took care of at a hospital. + At first I tried to find him, but I knew + He didn’t want me to. I thought perhaps + When I could take the kid, he’d like it then. + When I was packin’ up I found a paper, + A bill, I guess, all rumpled, in a coat + He left. It had a name I didn’t know. + At first I didn’t think, but lyin’ there + All quiet in the hospital I saw + It was his name, his truly name, and where + He lived and all. This afternoon my time + Was up--by rights I’d oughta left the ward + Four days ago. They gave me this, for the food, + Directions how to fix it right, you know, + And told me I could go, and so I came. + I thought he’d surely want to see me now, + When I was well again, just like I was. + + I waited in the park and watched the house, + It looked so big I couldn’t ring the bell. + Maybe ’twas six o’clock I saw him come; + Just by the steps a baby carriage turned + And waited for him comin’ up the street. + The woman wheelin’ it called out “Look there! + There’s Daddy! Can’t you throw a kiss to him?” + I saw him lift the baby ’way up high, + And carry it in the house. Then I come here. + +THE STRANGER + + I see. And that is all you plan to do? + I mean, you won’t go back? + +THE WOMAN + + What can I do? + You see, he doesn’t want me any more. + I’d like to die, but here’s the kid! I guess + I can’t leave him. An’ anyway I’m ’fraid + To die alone. I don’ know what I’ll do. + +THE MAN + + I wish that I could think of anything + To say that maybe’d help a little bit. + May I just--shake your hand?--Excuse me, Mister. + +THE WOMAN + + I didn’t know as you was listenin’ too. + +THE MAN + + Perhaps you’d like to hear what’s happened to me. + You’ll see that somebody has known the like + Of what you’re feelin’, maybe it will help. + +THE STRANGER + + Ah! I was right then? Both of you are troubled? + The night has brought us three together here; + We must be friends. It’s queer how loneliness + Makes one reach one, as I have reached, to you. + I think each one of us needs both the others. + +THE MAN + + Well, Mister, you don’t look as if you’d need + Our help, but maybe you do, maybe, who knows? + I’ll tell you what’s been happening to me. + I’m sick of thoughts goin’ round and round and round, + I wonder if anybody’ll ever know, + I mean to understand, what I’ve been thinkin’. + +THE STRANGER + + Why don’t you start? We’ll try to understand. + +THE MAN + + I’ll tell you first that I’m a drinking man, + And that’s a thing that causes lots of trouble. + She’s not to blame, she stood it for a while. + She had the children, there are two, you know, + But I was pretty bad. I hated it, + But there it was, and every day a fight, + And oftener and oftener I’d lose. + One day she went away and took the children. + They served some papers on me; I was drunk + And didn’t care; but pretty soon I knew + That she had gone for good. A lawyer came + And talked to me, after she’d talked to him. + And afterwards I saw her in the Court. + The Judge said I must leave our house, and if, + For two years, I could cut the liquor out + She’d let me back. + + And so I got a room + About two blocks away where I could see + The children as they passed along to school. + Sometimes I’d walk a little way with them, + But when I couldn’t answer all their questions + I’d think I’d better let ’em be, and so + I’d only watch ’em from behind the blind. + Well, Ma’am, I tried my best; I made a calendar + To mark the days. I got a good promotion. + The time went by, and all the while I thought + Two years are only seven hundred days + And thirty over! I can stick it out! + And then one day I’ll dress myself up clean + And meet the children and we’ll go back home. + I’d marked the calendar six hundred off + And eighty-six, and forty-four were left. + The heat came on and took the starch all out + Of everything. I didn’t care what happened. + I thought she didn’t mean to keep her promise-- + A week ago--oh, well, you know the rest. + I don’t know where I’ve been. I’d like to die, + Only I’ve been so lonesome in that room. + I seem to be afraid to die alone! + +THE WOMAN + + I’m awful sorry, Mister, awful sorry. + Seems like tonight most everybody’s luck + Has all gone back on ’em. Thank you for tellin’! + +THE STRANGER + + There’s no use sitting here in silence, is there? + We’ve got to find some way to help you both. + I’d like to if I can, but anyhow, + We’ve helped each other just by speaking out. + If you’ll wait here I’ll get a cab and take + You and the baby to the Sisters’ Home. + Perhaps you’ll come to my office in the morning; + I’d like to talk to you; I’m sure we’ll find + There’s something we can plan. Here is the address. + I sha’n’t be long, keep talking so’s to cheer her, + It was a kindly thought of yours to tell + Your story after hers. We’ll find some way. + +THE WOMAN + + What ’ud he mean? About the Sisters’ Home? + +THE MAN + + Some place where you an’ the kid can go, I s’pose. + +THE WOMAN + + It’s queer how everybody’s good to you + ’Ceptin’ the only one you want to be. + +THE MAN + + He said it wasn’t any use to sit + Here silent; that you’d better speak it out; + It always helped. He said he’d find a way. + Do you believe there’s anything ahead + For you or me? I wonder if there is. + +THE WOMAN + + I’m done with wonderin’ long ago, I know! + I want to die! God, how I want to die! + But here’s the kid, he didn’t ask to come, + And he’s so little, what ’ud become of him? + +THE MAN + + Do you believe there’s anything--over there? + +THE WOMAN + + There’s rest. + +THE MAN + + I know there’s rest, but when I’ve sat + All by myself there in that little room + Thinking things out, sometimes it seemed there must + Be something more. I’d mighty well like to know. + +THE WOMAN + + If I could find someone to take the kid + I’d like to rest, just rest, I wouldn’t want + Much of anything more. There isn’t anything. + I wish I wasn’t scared to die alone. + +THE MAN + + You said that once before. Do you mean it, really? + +THE WOMAN + + What are you thinkin’ about? Say it out, say it out! + +THE MAN + + What if we went together, you and I? + There ain’t any use of livin’ any more. + We’d find out something, anyhow. + +THE WOMAN + + You mean-- + +THE MAN + + I mean I’m sick o’ livin’, so are you. + Put the kid down there by the evergreens. + He’ll come and find it--he said he’d get a cab; + He’ll take it to the Sisters. Oh, I’m crazy! + Don’t put it there! Take it up again, I say! + A little kid like that! Don’t listen to me. + +THE WOMAN + + He’s sleeping now; he’ll never know what’s happened. + +THE MAN + + You’re goin’ to? Well, come along then fast + Or he’ll come back. We’re both of us crazy now, + But what’s the sense of livin’ any more? + Maybe there’s something better--over there. + +THE WOMAN + + Wait till I fix him comfortable. Say, Mister, + I was lookin’ at the river, by the pier, + Only I was afraid. Will you stay beside me? + +THE MAN + + Yes, that’s the place, come quickly, ’twon’t take long. + +THE WOMAN + + Maybe we could find a piece of iron + Or something heavy, so’s they wouldn’t find us; + There’s lots around the pier. + +THE MAN + + I’ll tell you what: + I’ll tie our hands together to the iron + So the waves won’t-- + + + + +_THE SISTERS_ + + + We four + Live here together + My three old sisters and I + In a white cottage + With flowers on each side of the path up to the door. + It is here we eat together, + At eight, one, and seven, + All the year round, + It is here we sew together + On garments for the Church sewing society + Here,--behind our fresh white dimity curtains + That I’ll soon have to do up and darn again. + It is this cottage we mean + When we use the word Home. + Is it not here we lie down and sleep + Each night all near together? + + We never meet + My three old sisters and I. + We never look into each others’ eyes + We never look into each others’ souls, + Or if we do for a moment + We quickly begin to talk about the jam + How much sugar to put in and when. + We run away and hide, like mice before the light; + We are afraid to look into each others’ souls + So we keep on sewing, sewing. + + My three old sisters are old + Very old. + It is not such a great while since they were born + Yet they are old. + I think it is because they will not look and see. + I am not old + But pretty soon I will be. + I was thinking of that when I went to him + Where he was waiting. + + My sisters had been talking together all the long afternoon + While I sat sewing and silent, + Clacking, clacking away while the lilac scent came in at the window + And the branches beckoned and sighed. + This is what they said-- + “How did that paper come into our house?” + “Fit to be burnt, don’t you think?” + Then the third, “It’s a shameless sheet + To print such a sensual thing.” + The paper lay on the table there, between my three sisters + With my poem in it,-- + My little happy poem without any name. + I had been with him when I wrote it and I wanted him again. + The words arose in my heart clamouring for birth-- + And there they were, between my three sisters. + Each read it in turn + Holding the paper far off with the tips of her fingers. + Then they hustled it into the fire + Giving it an extra poke with the tongs, a vicious poke. + Then each sister settled back to her sewing + With a satisfied air. + I looked at them and I wondered. + I looked at each one, + And I went to him that night-- + Where he was waiting. + + My three old sisters are dying + Though they do not know it. + They are not dying serenely + After life is over, + They are just getting dryer and dryer + And sharper and sharper; + Soon there will not be any more of them at all. + + I am not like them + I cannot be + For I have a reason for living. + While they were picking their little pale odourless blossoms + I gathered my great red flower + And oh I am glad, glad, + For now when the time comes I can die serenely, + I can die after living. + But first what is to come? + I am going to give my three old sisters a shock + Then what a rumpus there will be! + They will upbraid and reproach + And then they will whisper to each other, nodding slowly and sadly + Telling each other it is not theirs to judge. + So they will become kind and pitiful + Affirming that I am their sister + And that they will stick by and see me through. + But underneath they will be touching me with the lifted tips of their fingers. + They would like to hustle me into the fire + With an extra poke of the tongs. + + Perhaps I will pretend to hang my head, + Perhaps I will to please them, + I am very obliging-- + But in my heart I shall be laughing with a great laughter, + A great exaltation. + + Yes they will upbraid and reproach + In grave and sisterly accents + And mourn over me, + One who has fallen; + Yet I suspect + As each one goes to her cold little room, + Deep in her breast she will envy + With a terrible envy + The child that is mine + And the night + The incredible night + When the sun and the moon and the stars + Bent down + And gave me their secrets. + + + + +_REASON_ + + + Doctor! Doctor! I want you to come in. + Doctor! Don’t you hear me? Don’t go by! + That’s right, come in here now and shut the door. + Sit down there in that chair + And listen. + Don’t sit there with that silly smile all over you. + I’m going to make you listen. + + You know when I first came they wanted me to talk. + I could see them trying, with little tricks and questions. + Well, now I will,-- + I’ll tell you if you’ll let me out. + Will you, Doctor? Will you? + Those bars there at the window make me sick, + And the screaming all around. + You have to holler too, to keep from hearing! + The nurse said I’d be in the padded room + If I kept on-- + Say, Doctor, will you let me out + After I’ve told you everything there is? + Will you? Will you? Will you? + + Oh very well, + You can open the door then now. + I don’t want you any more; I’ll never tell-- + Say, Doctor, don’t go yet awhile; + Turn round, don’t go, I want to talk to you. + There, please sit down again, I’ll promise not to holler. + I’ll tell you all about it and then you’ll see-- + You’ll let me go, I know you will. + I tell you I’ve got to go and find ’em, + Find ’em all--Father and Grandfather, + All that made me go back home, + That made me do it-- + But you don’t know, + I’ll have to find some place to start at. + + The first night that he tried to get at me, and he like that, + I cried, + Soon as he saw me crying he went off + And got a quilt + And made a bed out in the sitting-room. + He got up early so I didn’t see him. + I thought all day, + And I kissed him when he came at supper time. + + That night he seemed just like he was at first, + I mean when we were married first, + I thought he wouldn’t do it ever again-- + Say, Doctor, don’t you tell, + But somebody came when I was out + And fixed his food up so’s he’d want the stuff, + I know who it was, but I won’t tell, + Not till I’m out of here. + + She did it out of spite, I know, I know-- + Doctor, who is that hollerin’? Make her stop-- + I guess you’d think it “mattered” some + If you heard it all the time-- + Well, finally I couldn’t keep him in the sitting-room, + I had to let him in, he hammered so, + And then--Oh, Doctor, stop her please! + I don’t see what she’s hollerin’ for, + Nobody got in her bed reeling drunk-- + I couldn’t help him coming--I couldn’t, an’ I tried! + + Next day I went around and did the dishes up, + And cooked the dinner ready, and all the time I thought + “Supposing it’s happened--what’ll the child be then? + What’ll I have to bring into the world? + Supposing it’s happened--” + + Perhaps it was nearly supper time, + I don’t know clearly, + But I couldn’t stay, I couldn’t! + I left a letter for him and went home. + I walked around the corner of the house and there they were + Sitting at supper, Father and Grandfather + And Ma and little Ben. + I stood and looked at them. + It seemed such a little while since I was sitting there + Not thinkin’ anything, + Finally I went in and said + “I’ve come home,--I’ve come away from Jim, I mean. + Don’t everybody look at me like that-- + I tell you I’ve come home.” + + Then Ma got up and took me in her room + And fixed the bed for me-- + She said we’d talk it over in the morning. + + I stayed pretty near two months at home, + And all the while Father and Grandfather + And even little Ben + Were at me to go back, + Father kept saying all he wanted was my happiness. + And then they got the clergyman + And he talked just the same. + And then Jim came. + They all were nice to him and Jim was dreadfully sorry. + He hadn’t had a drop, he said, and if I’d come + He’d never touch a single thing again-- + Oh, Doctor, make her stop! + Go make her stop, I say, what’s she got to holler for? + Don’t forget you promised if I’d tell + You’d let me out-- + Do you want to hear the rest? + I’m telling you straight enough, more’n I told the family-- + I never told them anything, + I mean what I thought might happen, + And nobody ever had the sense to guess + What I was afraid of, + Nobody but Ma, + And after the first she didn’t do anything but cry + And say Father knew best. + + The second time Jim came, I said I’d go, + I was so tired of everybody talkin’ at me-- + Oh I don’t want to tell you any more-- + I’m crazy with her hollerin’. + You know the rest--I squeezed his eyes out-- + ’Cause he was lookin’ at me + When I let him in--after his hammerin’-- + Then they brought me here-- + + Doctor, I’ve told you everything. + Doctor, let me out! + Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! + + + + +_HER SECRET_ + + + My secret and I stand here in front of the glass. + We are bedecking ourselves for an evening of gayety. + We look down and make our lips smile-- + We look up and make ourselves laugh, + And then we turn and look into the glass again + To see if others will believe that our eyes are smiling too. + + How long will it last, the evening? + It will be three hours at least, maybe four. + There will be music and bright dresses and clinking and chattering + And everybody will laugh; there will be a great deal of laughter. + Everybody will go about with smiling lips, + But if you stop and look + You will see that everybody’s eyes are hungry. + + None of them shall know my secret + No one knows that-- + Not any one in all the world. + + There was one other knew + But he is dead. + I heard that he was dead just now-- + + A little while ago-- + Just a few minutes ago by the clock. + I was putting on my beautiful dress + When I heard a list read out from the paper, many names, + A long, long list. + I went on fastening my embroidered slippers + While they read and read-- + It came while I was buttoning my gloves, my long gloves; + There are a number of buttons. + No one shall guess my secret. + + There is a woman somewhere, + I do not know where she is; + But all her friends are hastening, + Coming from all about + To surround her with their melancholy faces. + + Soon they will get for her a black dress and a long black veil. + They will lead her faltering to a church, + Her two wondering children held to her side, one by each hand. + She will be very important. + They will say beautiful things about him-- + Beautiful sad things-- + And all the time, hid by her long black veil, + Her eyes will be smiling--smiling. + + And what have I of him? + What shall I take with me to the party? + Only the memory of that last dawn + When I gave him all and bade him go. + + + + +_A LITTLE GIRL_ + + +I + + I see a little girl sitting bent over + On a white stone door-step. + In the street are other children running about; + The shadows of the waving trees flicker on their white dresses. + + Some one opens the door of the house + And speaks to the child on the steps. + She looks up and asks an eager question. + The figure shakes her head and shuts the door. + The child covers up her face + To hide her tears. + + +II + + Three children are playing in a garden-- + Two boys and an awe-struck little girl; + They have plastered the summer-house with clay, + Making it an unlovely object. + + A grown-up person comes along the path. + The little girl runs to her and stops, + Asking the same question--“Where is my Mother?” + The grown-up person does not make any answer. + She looks at the summer-house and passes along the path. + + The little girl goes slowly into the house + And climbs the stairs. + + +III + + The little girl is alone in the garden. + A white-haired lady of whom she is afraid + Comes to find her and tell her a joyful thing. + + The little girl runs to the nursery. + The young nurse is doing her hair in front of the glass. + The little girl sees how white her neck is + And her uplifted arms. + + Tomorrow they will be gone--they will not be here-- + They are going to find--Her. + The young nurse turns and smiles + And takes the little girl in her arms. + + +IV + + The little girl is travelling on a railway train, + Everything rushes by very fast,-- + Houses, and children in front of them, + Children who are just staying at home. + + The train cannot go fast enough, + The little girl is saying over and over again, + “My Mother--My onliest Mother-- + I am coming to you, coming very fast.” + + +V + + The little girl looks up at a great red building + With a great doorway. + It opens and the little girl is led in, + Looking all about her. + A Lady in a white dress and white cap comes. + + After a long time + A man in a black coat comes in. + He says “She is not well enough, I am afraid.” + The little girl is led away. + She always remembers the words + The man in the black coat said. + + +VI + + The little girl is waiting in the big hallway, + In the house of the white-haired lady. + At the end of the path she can see the summer-house + With its queer grey cover. + + The hall clock ticks very slowly. + The hands must go all around again + Before the mother will come. + + Now it is night. + The little girl is lying in her bed. + There is a piano going somewhere downstairs. + She is telling herself a story and waiting. + Soon She will come in at the door. + + There will be a swift shaft of light + Across the floor. + And She will come in with a rustling sound. + She will lie down on the bed + And the little girl will stroke her dress and crinkle it + To make the sound again. + + Pretty soon the mother will step slowly and softly to the door, + And quietly turn the handle. + The little girl will speak and stop her, + Asking something she has asked many times before,--“My Father?” + But the mother has never anything to answer. + + +VII + + The mother and the little girl are sitting together sewing. + Outside there is snow. + A woman with a big white apron + Comes to the door of the room and speaks. + + The mother drops her work on the floor + And runs down the stairs. + The little girl stands at the head of the stairs + And cries out “My Father!” but no one hears. + They pass along the hall-- + + The little girl creeps down the stairs, + But the door is closed. + + +VIII + + The little girl is held and rocked, + Held so tightly it hurts her. + She moves herself free. + + Then quickly she puts her face up close, + And there is a taste of salt on her tongue. + + +IX + + In a bed in an upper chamber, + A bed with high curtains, + A woman sits bowed over. + Her hair streams over her shoulders, + Her arms are about two children. + + The older one is trying to say comforting things, + The little girl wants to slip away,-- + There are so many people at the foot of the bed-- + + Out of the window, across the yellow river + There are houses climbing up the hillside. + The little girl wonders if anything like this + Is happening in any of those houses. + + +X + + Many children and grown-up people + Are standing behind their chairs around a bright table + Waiting for the youngest child to say grace. + + It is very troublesome for the youngest child + To get the big words out properly. + The little girl interrupts and says the grace quickly. + + The white-haired lady of whom the little girl is afraid + Is angry. + The little girl breaks away and runs + To the room of the bed with the high curtains. + + She rushes in-- + The room is empty. + She comes back to the table, + But she does not dare to ask the question. + She remembers the great red building + With the great doorway. + + +XI + + The little girl is trying to read a fairy story. + There is nobody in the garden. + There is nobody in the house but the white-haired lady. + + Someone comes to tell her her father is there-- + She does not want to see him, + She is afraid. + + +XII + + The front door is open. + There is rain, leaves are whirling about. + A carriage with two horses + And a coachman high up, holding a long whip, + Stands waiting in front of the door. + + The little girl is holding onto the banisters. + They take away her hands from the banisters + And lead her to the carriage in front of the door. + Someone gets in behind her, + The carriage door is shut, + The little girl draws herself to the far corner. + They drive away. + The little girl looks back out of the window. + + +XIII + + The little girl is in a strange house + Where there are young men called uncles + Who talk to her and laugh. + A large lady sits by the table and knits and smiles, + In her basket are different coloured balls of wool, + Pretty colours, but not enough to make a pattern. + There is a curly soft little black dog + That hides under the table. + The uncles pull him out, + And he tries to hold onto the carpet with his claws. + The little girl laughs-- + But at the sound she turns away + And goes up to her room and shuts the door. + Pretty soon the large lady comes to her + And takes her on her lap and rocks and sings. + + * * * * * + + + +XIV + + The little girl has grown taller, + She is fair and sweet and ready for love, + But over her is a great fear + As she remembers her mother’s weeping. + + + THE END + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75630 *** diff --git a/75630-h/75630-h.htm b/75630-h/75630-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5e3f761 --- /dev/null +++ b/75630-h/75630-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,4373 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html> +<html lang="en"> +<head> + <meta charset="UTF-8"> + <title> + Flashlights | Project Gutenberg + </title> + <link rel="icon" href="images/cover.jpg" type="image/x-cover"> + <style> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +p { + margin-top: .51em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .49em; + text-indent: 1em; +} + +.p2 {margin-top: 2em;} +.p4 {margin-top: 4em;} + +hr { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: 33.5%; + margin-right: 33.5%; + clear: both; +} + +hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} +hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} +@media print { hr.chap {display: none; visibility: hidden;} } + +div.chapter {page-break-before: always;} +h2.nobreak {page-break-before: avoid;} + +table { + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; +} +table.autotable { border-collapse: collapse; width: 60%;} +table.autotable td, +table.autotable th { padding: 4px; } +.x-ebookmaker table {width: 95%;} + +.tdc {text-align: center; vertical-align: top;} +.tdr {text-align: right; vertical-align: top;} +.pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + font-style: normal; + font-weight: normal; + font-variant: normal; + text-indent: 0; +} + +.blockquot { + margin-left: 5%; + margin-right: 5%; +} + +.center {text-align: center; text-indent: 0em;} + +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + +/* Images */ + +img { + max-width: 100%; + height: auto; +} +.w50 {width: 35%;} +.x-ebookmaker .w50 {width: 50%;} + +.figcenter { + margin: auto; + text-align: center; + page-break-inside: avoid; + max-width: 100%; +} + +.allsmcap {font-variant: small-caps; text-transform: lowercase;} + +/* Poetry */ + +.poetry { + display: block; + text-align: left; + margin-left: 0 + } +/* uncomment the next line for centered poetry in browsers */ +/* .poetry {display: inline-block;} */ +/* large inline blocks don't split well on paged devices */ +@media print { .poetry {display: block;} } + +.x-ebookmaker .poetry { + margin-left: 5%; + margin-right: 5% + } +.poetry-container { + margin: 1.5em auto; + text-align: center; + font-size: 98%; + display: flex; + justify-content: center + } +.poetry .stanza { + padding: 0.5em 0; + page-break-inside: avoid + } +.poetry .verse { + text-indent: -3em; + padding-left: 3em + } + + +.big {font-size: 1.3em;} +.small {font-size: 0.8em;} + +abbr[title] { + text-decoration: none; +} + +/* Poetry indents */ +.poetry .indent0 {text-indent: -3em;} +.poetry .indent14 {text-indent: 4em;} +.poetry .indent16 {text-indent: 5em;} +.poetry .indent18 {text-indent: 6em;} +.poetry .indent2 {text-indent: -2em;} +.poetry .indent20 {text-indent: 7em;} +.poetry .indent22 {text-indent: 8em;} +.poetry .indent24 {text-indent: 9em;} +.poetry .indent26 {text-indent: 10em;} +.poetry .indent28 {text-indent: 11em;} +.poetry .indent30 {text-indent: 12em;} +.poetry .indent32 {text-indent: 13em;} +.poetry .indent4 {text-indent: -1em;} + +/* Illustration classes */ +.illowp52 {width: 52%;} + + </style> +</head> +<body> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75630 ***</div> + + + + +<h1> FLASHLIGHTS</h1> + +<p class="center p2"> +BY<br><span class="big"> +MARY ALDIS</span> +<br><span class="small"> +AUTHOR OF<br> +“THE PRINCESS JACK”<br> +AND<br> +“PLAYS FOR SMALL STAGES”</span> +</p> + +<figure class="figcenter illowp52" id="001" style="max-width: 23.875em;"> + <img class="w50 p2" src="images/001.jpg" alt=""> +</figure> + +<p class="center p4"> +NEW YORK<br> +DUFFIELD & COMPANY<br> +1916<br> +</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p class="center"> +Copyright, 1916, by <span class="smcap">Mary Aldis</span><br> +</p> + + +<p class="p2">The author desires to make acknowledgement for permission to reprint +to <i>Poetry</i>, <i>The Little Review</i>, <i>The Masses</i>, +<i>Others</i>, <i>The Trimmed Lamp</i>, <i>The Survey</i>, <i>The Los +Angeles Graphic</i>, <i>The Chicago Herald</i> and <i>The Chicago +Evening Post</i>.</p> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<h2 class="nobreak" id="CONTENTS">CONTENTS</h2> +</div> + +<table class="autotable"> +<tr><th></th><th class="tdr"> PAGE</th></tr> +<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2"> +I. CITY SKETCHES</td></tr> +<tr><td> +The Barber Shop </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_3">3</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Love in the Loop </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_8">8</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Converse </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_12">12</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Window-wishing </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_16">16</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +A Little Old Woman </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_20">20</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2"> +II. +</td></tr> +<tr><td> +Design </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_27">27</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +The World Cry </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_28">28</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Brown Sands </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_29">29</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Seeking </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_30">30</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +May 11, 1915 </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_31">31</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Watchers </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_32">32</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +To Maurice Browne </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_35">35</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Prayers </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_37">37</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +My Boat and I </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_39">39</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Pictures </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_42">42</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Forward, Singing! </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_44">44</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Barberries </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_46">46</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Two Paths </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_48">48</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +When You Come </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_50">50</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Rest </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_52">52</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Moriturus Te Saluto </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_54">54</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Flashlights </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_56">56</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Floodgates </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_63">63</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Chloroform </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_69">69</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +The Beginning of the Journey </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_75">75</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2"> +III. STORIES IN METRE +</td> +<tr><td> +The Prisoner </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_81">81</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Ellie </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_86">86</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +The Park Bench </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_92">92</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +The Sisters </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_105">105</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Reason </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_110">110</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +Her Secret </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_115">115</a></td></tr> +<tr><td> +A Little Girl </td> +<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_117">117</a></td></tr> + +</table> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</span></p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<h2 class="nobreak" id="I">I<br><span class="small">CITY SKETCHES</span></h2> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</span></p> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Go forth now, moods and metres,</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Sing your song and tell your story;</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>You have companioned me</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Through hours grave and gay,</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>What will you say</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>To him whose curious hand</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Shall turn these pages?</i></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Soon all my joy in setting forth</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>My vagrant thoughts</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Shall pass</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Into the silence;</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Soon I shall be</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>One with the mystery.</i></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>My book upon some quiet shelf</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Beneath your touch</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Shall wake, perhaps,</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>And speak again</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>My wonder, my delight,</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>My questioning before the night—</i></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>And as you read</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Somewhere afar</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>I shall be singing, singing.</i></div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="THE_BARBER_SHOP"><i>THE BARBER SHOP</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I spend my life in a warren of worried men.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In and out and to and fro</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And up and down in electric elevators</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They rush about and speak each other,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hurrying on to finish the deal,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hurrying home to wash and eat and sleep,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hurrying to love a little maybe</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Between the dark and dawn</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or cuddle a tired child</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who blinks to see his father.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I hurry too but with a sense</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That Life is hurrying faster</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And will catch up with me.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Right in the middle of our furious activity</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Two soft-voiced barbers in a little room,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">White-tiled and fresh and smelling deliciously,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Flourish their glittering tools</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And smile and barb</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And talk about the war and stocks and the Honolulu earthquake</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With equal impartiality.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I like to go there.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Time seems slow and patient</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While they tuck me up in white</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And hover over me.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The room gives north and west and the sunset sky</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Lights the grey river to a ribbon of glory</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where silhouetted tugs</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like tooting beetles fuss about their smoky businesses;</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Besides, in that high place</div> + <div class="verse indent0">No curious passer-by</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Can see my ignominious bald spot treated with a tonic,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Nor can a lady stop and bow to me, my chin in lather,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As happened once;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So I go there often</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And even take a book.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There’s another person all in white</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who comes and goes and manicures your nails</div> + <div class="verse indent0">On application.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">One can read with one hand while she does the other.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Because I feel that Life is hurrying me along</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With horrid haste</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Soon to desert me utterly,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I used to take my Inferno in my pocket</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And reflect on what might happen</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Were I among the usurers.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">One day a low-pitched voice broke in.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I listened vaguely,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">What was the woman saying?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Please listen for a moment, Mister Brown,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ve done your nails for almost half a year</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You’ve never looked at me.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I looked at that,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And sure enough the girl was young and round and sweet.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She coloured as I turned to her</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And looked away.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I waited silently, enjoying her confusion.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The words had been shot out at me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And now apparently she wished them back.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“What do you want?” I said.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Again a silence while she rubbed away.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I opened my Inferno with an ironic glance</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Towards Paradiso waiting just beyond.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Well, rub away, my girl,” I thought,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You opened up, go on.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The book provoked her.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I’m straight,” she said.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I never talked like this before.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The fellows that come round—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Good Lord!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Showin’ me two pink ticket corners</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Stickin’ out the pocket of their vest,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">‘Say, kid,—tonight,—you know,’</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Thinkin’ I’ll tumble</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For a ticket to a show!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They make me sick, they do,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Boobs like that;</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">You’re different. I want to know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What’s in that book you read.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I want to hear you talk.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh, Mister, I’m so lonesome!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But I’m straight, I tell you.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I read, too, every evening in my room,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But I can’t ever find</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The books you have.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I expect you think I’m horrid</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To talk like this—but—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I got some things by an Englishman</div> + <div class="verse indent0">From the Public Library.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Say, they were queer!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He thinks a woman has a right</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To say out if she likes a man;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He thinks they do the looking</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Because they want—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh, Mister, I’m so terribly ashamed</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll die when I get home,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">An’ yet I had to speak—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d be awful, awful good to you, if only,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Please, please, don’t think I’m like—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Don’t think I’m one o’ them!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whatever you say, don’t, don’t think that!”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">She stopped, and turned to hide her crying.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I looked at her again,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Looked at her young wet eyes,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">At her abashed bent head,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Looked at her sweet, deft hands</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Busy with mine....</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">But—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Not for nothing</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Were my grandfather and four of my uncles</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Elders in the Sixth Presbyterian Church</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Situated on the Avenue.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh not for nothing</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Was I led</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To squirm on those green rep seats</div> + <div class="verse indent0">One day in seven.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">And now,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The white-tiled, sweetly-smelling barber shop</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Is lost to me.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What a pity!</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="LOVE_IN_THE_LOOP"><i>LOVE IN THE LOOP</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">They sat by the fountain at a table for two,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The traditional couple—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">An awkward, ill-dressed girl,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With a lovely skin and a country smile,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the man who was paying for her dinner.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There they were—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Exploiter and Exploited.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I could see only his back, clad in grey tweed.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">His neck rolled over his collar</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In a thick red fold,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And his hands, which he waved about,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Were fat and white with shiny nails</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And diamond rings.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I wondered if he was offering her better clothes</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For the girl looked troubled.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her shirt-waist wasn’t fresh,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her skirt was draggled,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And her feet, curled up under the chair,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Shifted themselves uneasily, seeking cover</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For most lamentable shoes;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But oh, her skin!</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Soft rose and the delicate white of summer mist.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her hair was the brown of hazelnuts after a frost,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Glinting to saffron as she turned her head</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Quickly from side to side</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like an enquiring dove.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Soon oysters came;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She eyed them with distrust,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then ate one thoughtfully and made a face.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He seemed concerned</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And beckoned the waiter to remove the dish,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Asking if she’d rather have a “country sausage.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She showed her baby teeth in a happy smile</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And sausages were brought.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She ate them all while he watched her enviously,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Putting a little white pellet in some water</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For his second course.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Champagne was set before them and he filled her glass</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While he turned his bottom side up.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She sipped, and made another face, and choked,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then tried again and laughed.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I do believe it’s good,” she said,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And finished the glass,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Holding it out for more.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You’d best look out,” I heard him say</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As he slid his hand along the table-cloth.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She cringed away.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Oh, please, please don’t!” she said;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But he hitched his chair softly around the table.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I watched it all,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Wondering miserably if it was my duty</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To warn the girl,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And whether she would prove clinging if I did.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Finally to secure her hands he turned himself.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">My God, what a mug!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">His beady eyes over his glistening cheeks</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Blinked like a hurrying pig’s:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">His protuberent lips wiggled themselves</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In amourous expectancy</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While little beads of ecstasy bedewed his brow.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I turned my chair around and raised my paper.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Suddenly I heard her cry, “Oh, Mister!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That fuzzy stuff you made me drink—my head!”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And she grabbed her coat and slithered along the floor</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To the front door, calling over her shoulder.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Don’t come. I want some air,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll be back in a minute or two.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">After a startled forward step</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He settled back and called the waiter,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who hurried to busy himself expectantly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With the inevitable reckoning.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">By the time it was ready, Mr. Amourous-One</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Was deep in the stock reports and dead to the world.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The waiter stood on one foot and then on the other,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Finally wandering off.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">After some twenty minutes of troubled scrutiny</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The paper was laid down,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And Mr. Amourous</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Looked at his watch and jumped,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then turned the bill and burrowed in his pocket,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Pulling out change.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Next came a leather wallet—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then what a bellowing rent the astonished air!</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“Eight hundred dollars gone!” he yelled.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Hi! get that girl, I tell you, <span class="allsmcap">GET THAT GIRL</span>!”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But nobody stirred.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Exploiter and Exploited—</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="CONVERSE"><i>CONVERSE</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">They were two disembodied heads on bath cabinets,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Just like “Une tête de femme” by Rodin, in a show,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Save that each head was topped</div> + <div class="verse indent0">By a ruffled rubber cap,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">One rose-lined grey, one brown.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They were two female heads,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And yet they were not pretty,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">At least not then.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">They fixed their level-fronting eyes on a sanitary wall</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In front of them</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And waited.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The Bath Attendant turned a crank,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Consulted a thermometer, and vanished.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Time draggled warmly by.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Finally one head heaved a heavy sigh and turned itself</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And looked at the other head,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Which bit its lip and frowned.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Since names seem meaningless</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When souls converse,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Let us call these souls quite simply Grey and Brown.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The one that heaved and turned itself was Brown;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The one that bit its lip was Grey.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“Are you pretending that you didn’t see me?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Queried Brown.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Oh no!” said Grey.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“I’ve been meaning to have a talk with you,” said Brown.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“And why not now?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“And why not now?” said Grey.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“You may as well understand,” continued Brown,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You’ve got to give him up.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Him up?” said Grey.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“That’s what I said,” said Brown.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You very well know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">His duty is to me. I bear his name,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ve given him seven children and a step,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">All likely boys.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He’s very fond of them, you know.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I know,” said Grey.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“Well, what have you got to say?” Brown trembled on.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Why don’t you speak?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Grey murmured softly,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Isn’t it hot in these?”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Brown looked at her and laughed.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You’re pretty cool,” she said,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">“But I’d like to tell you here and straight and now,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’m tired of nonsense,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Tired of worrying,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And very, very tired of him and you.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Of him and me,” said Grey.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“I’ve cried and then I’ve laughed</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And said I didn’t care,”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Said whimpering Brown.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I’ve dressed myself up beautifully</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then again I’d slump,”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Said sniffling Brown.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“But nothing mattered.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">If he came home bright and gay, of course I’d know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He’d been with you,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And if he came home different, then I’d know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He wished he were,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So gradually it didn’t matter much</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Which way he was.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then I thought I’d try and keep</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The boys from knowing,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So I’d make up lies and plan;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With seven and the step</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It took considerable planning,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But luckily the little ones don’t notice.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And now I’ve got you here, I’m going to have my say!”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Your say,” said Grey.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“I’m going to get your promise here and now</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To give him up for good,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Do you understand?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“For good,” said Grey.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Oh yes, I understand.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“Or else,” and beetling Brown</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Grew dark and terrible,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You’ll be the co-respondent in a suit!”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“A suit,” said Grey.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“I said a suit,” said Brown,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I mean a suit.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Moreover, as you haven’t said a word</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll bring it soon.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“It soon,” said Grey.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">And then the Attendant came,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Looked at the clock and then the thermometer,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Got sheets and led them out.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“Unless—” said Brown.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Oh yes, unless—” said Grey.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="WINDOW-WISHING"><i>WINDOW-WISHING</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh yes, we get off regular</div> + <div class="verse indent0">By half past six,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And six on Saturdays.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sister an’ I go marketing on Saturday nights,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Everything’s down.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Besides there’s Sunday comin’;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You can sleep,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh my, how you can sleep!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">No mother shakin’ you</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To “get up now,”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">No coffee smell</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hurryin’ you while you dress,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">No Beauty Shop to get to on the tick of the minute</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or pony up a fine.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sister an’ I go window-wishin’</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sunday afternoon, all over the Loop.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It’s lots of fun.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">First she’ll choose what she thinks is the prettiest</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then my turn comes.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You mustn’t ever choose a thing</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The other’s lookin’ at,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And when a window’s done</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The one that beats</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Can choose the first time when we start the next.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The hats are hardest</div> + <div class="verse indent0">’Specially when they’re turnin’ round and round.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But window-wishin’s great!</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Then there’s the pictures,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Bully ones sometimes,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometimes they’re queer.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sister an’ I go in ’most every Sunday.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We took Mother ’long last week,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But she didn’t like ’em any too well.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Mother’s old, you know,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We have to kinda humour her.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Next day she couldn’t remember a single thing</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But the lions on the steps.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">You know what happened the other night?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sister and I didn’t know just what to do,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A gentleman came to see us.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He said Jim asked him to</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometime when he was near.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Jim’s my brother, you know.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He lives down state.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We have to send him part of our wages regular,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sister an’ I;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He doesn’t seem to get a steady place,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And Mother likes us to.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She’s dotty on Jim.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometimes I get real nasty—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A great big man like that!</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Anyway his friend came walkin’ in</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And said Jim sent his love.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sister an’ I didn’t exactly know what to do,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And Mother looked so queer!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her dress was awful dirty.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He said he was livin’ in Chicago,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And Sister said she hoped</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He had a place he liked.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He only stayed a little while,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Till half past eight,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then he took his hat</div> + <div class="verse indent0">From under the chair he was sittin’ on</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And went away.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I said just now it happened the other night,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But it was seven weeks ago last Friday evening.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He said he’d come again.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I dunno as he will,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sister an’ I keep wonderin’.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We dressed up-every night for quite a while</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And stayed in Sundays.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Yesterday we thought</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We’d go down window-wishin’</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And what do you think?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Just as she’d picked a lovely silver dress</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sister jerked my arm,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then all of a sudden there she was</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Cryin’ and snifflin’ in her handkerchief</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Standin’ there on the sidewalk,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And what do you think she said?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I’d like to kill the woman that wears that gown!”</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">I tell you I was scared,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She looked so queer,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But she’s all right today.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh thank you, two o’clock next Saturday the tenth?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll put it down,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A shampoo and a wave, you said?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll keep the time,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Good-morning.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="A_LITTLE_OLD_WOMAN"><i>A LITTLE OLD WOMAN</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There’s a twinkling little old woman</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Brings me sandwiches after my Turkish bath.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her cheeks are brown and pink,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And her eyes, behind her gold-bowed spectacles,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Smile in a curious fashion as if to say</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I know you’re worried about that letter in the pocket of your dress,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hanging out there, but I’ll take care of it.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">She sets the tray down on a chair beside my couch</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And trots away to another languid lady in a sheet,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And as I fall asleep she says to me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Don’t worry honey, I’ll take care of it.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Perhaps it’s only in my dreams she says it,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But anyway she’s there.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Once after she had hooked me up</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She raised her sober dress</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To show me that she too could wear a lace-trimmed petticoat;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And a dainty thing it was, with tiny rosebuds</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Festooned all around.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She dropped her skirt and laughed.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I’ve got one ... too,” she said.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">This was uncanny, so I said Good-day.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Next time I went I met him at the door</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With a market basket!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It seems he brought the dainties every day</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She made up into sandwiches for us who lolled about.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I took a look at him,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A delicate, chiselled face with soft blue eyes,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Under his chin from ear to ear a fringe of yellow down,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Around a bald spot, curls of whity-gold;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He blinked a little as she gave him charges</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then wandered thoughtfully away</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Clutching his basket.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He wore a black frock coat too big for him,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And on his head, a round black hat like a French Curé’s.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">So that was why she wore the petticoat</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And smiled so knowingly—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But how she worked!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I wouldn’t work like that.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Perhaps she kept that little thing for pleasuring.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Well, this is a woman’s world, why not,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">If so be that he pleased her?</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The steamy, scented atmosphere that day</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Seemed teeming with intrigue;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I looked at the strapping, bare-legged wench</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who brought my sheet</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Enquiring mutely, “Have you got a lover?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And when a person next me roused herself</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To ask the time,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I thought, “Ah-ha! He’s waiting!”</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">It chanced when sandwiches were brought</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I found myself alone</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With her of the spectacles and petticoat.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I wanted to go to sleep,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But I wanted more to find out how</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She got a lover,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And how she kept him.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">After some skirmishing I asked straight out,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Was that your husband with the market basket?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“My husband’s dead,” she said, and grinned</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And took a chair beside my couch.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Who is he, then?” I said.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“He’s mine,” she answered. “Mine!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I paid for him five hundred dollars cool,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And now he likes me!”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I sat up at that.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You paid for him?” I gulped.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Why yes, he lived up-stairs, you know.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">His heart is bad; he hadn’t any cash;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He got hauled up on a breach-of-promise suit;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I paid it for him.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Now he lives with me!”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">She emphasized her “me” triumphantly.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I looked her over.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Certainly there was something there of vividness,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of quick vitality.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He and his funny hat and goldy curls—</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Well, anything may be.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Are you happy now?” I asked.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She smiled and bridled.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“The business pays,” she said.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You ladies pay good prices for your food</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then the tips besides.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He gets the things for me and brings ’em fresh,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then what do you suppose he does the rest of the time?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">(His heart is bad, you know)</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Writes verses all day long for the Sunday papers;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Mostly they don’t get in,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But every now and then he gets two dollars.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I bought him an Underwood last week.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He was so pleased,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only the punctuation isn’t right.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It isn’t a second-hand; cost me a hundred and twenty-five;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I saved it up—”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The bell rang and she rose.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Say! please don’t tell them anything about—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">About—my husband.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And she vanished.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span></p> +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span></p> +<h2 class="nobreak" id="II">II</h2> +</div> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="DESIGN"><i>DESIGN</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">If all the world’s a stage, why do we know</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Naught of the drama we the actors play?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Are we but puppets, we who come and go</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Mumbling our parts through life’s quick-passing day?</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">What if some master hand design the show</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Planning a spacious pattern cunningly!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Time, color, drifting human shapes all go</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Into a great discordant harmony:</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Let this one’s part be cast in delicate grey,</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Let this a heavy purple shadow be,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Here let there come one clear, cold, bluish ray</div> + <div class="verse indent2">And here—but hold! one actor suddenly</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">In desperate rebellion cries his part—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A scarlet tumult from his own hot heart.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="THE_WORLD_CRY"><i>THE WORLD CRY</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent4">Joy, light, and love I crave</div> + <div class="verse indent4">And shall discover—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Life’s wild adventure opening to my will:</div> + <div class="verse indent4">High thought and brave,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">The rapture of a lover,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The Vision gleaming from yon western hill.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent4">Beyond my present sight</div> + <div class="verse indent4">There lies some sweet allure,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Some crested glory waiting to be won;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Shimmering in light,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Beautiful and sure,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Beckoning bright hands that call me on.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent4">I know not where it lies,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Nor whither I go, nor how</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The way is paved—with pleasure or with pain;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But the search is in my eyes,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">And the dust upon my brow</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Shall turn to aureoled gold when I attain.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"> + +<hr class="tb"></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh, old old hope—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Unfulfilled desire!</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Pitiful the faith,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Beautiful the fire!</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Know, soul who criest,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Thy gleaming from afar,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Thy quest of wild adventure,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Thy sweet far star</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Shall be the bitter path</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To a high stern goal;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So bow thy head</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To thine own soul.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="BROWN_SANDS"><i>BROWN SANDS</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">My stallion impatiently</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Stamps at my side,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Into the desert far</div> + <div class="verse indent2">We two shall ride.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Brown sands around us fly,</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Winds whistle free,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The desert is sharing</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Gladness with me.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The madness of motion</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Is mine again.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Forgotten forever</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Sorrow and pain.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Into the desert far</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Swiftly we flee,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Knowing the passionate</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Joy of the free.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="SEEKING"><i>SEEKING</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Swift like the lark</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Out of the dark</div> + <div class="verse indent2">One cometh, singing;</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Silent in flight</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Out of the night</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Answer is winging.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Forth to the dawn</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Leaps like a fawn</div> + <div class="verse indent2">A cry of high greeting,</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Into the sun</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Two that have run</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Seeking, are meeting.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="MAY_11_1915"><i>MAY 11, 1915</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">A prayer is forming on my tightened lips—</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Lord grant that I may keep my soul from hate!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I have known love, I have been pitiful,</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Lord, I would keep my grief compassionate!</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Pain-maddened cries I hear from out the sea,</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Upstaring at me, faces of the dead;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Those silent bodies seem to call aloud,</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Those silent souls are still and comforted.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">And we are here to bear the weight of pain—</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Oh, keep the poison from its awful task!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Lord, let me be as they are ere I hate,</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Let me love on! this, this is what I ask!</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">However long the way, there is a turning,</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Somewhere beyond the storm there lies a land</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where Peace abides, where love shall live again,</div> + <div class="verse indent2">And men shall greet with friendly outstretched hand</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">While little children laugh, and women weep</div> + <div class="verse indent2">With happiness—Oh, Lord, until that hour</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Keep Thou my hope, keep Thou my tenderness,</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Keep Thou my trust in Thy far-seeing power!</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="WATCHERS"><i>WATCHERS</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I watch the Eastern sky</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For a sign of dawn</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Long delayed.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Such stillness is around</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That every separate sense</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Is twice-attuned, twice-powerful,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And loneliness enwraps me like a sea</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Into whose unplumbed depths I must go down:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A sea unsatisfied</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where drifting shapes, wan-eyed,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Reach forth wan arms</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Towards them who pause to look at their own souls</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Mirrored upon the sea.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Somewhere a loon</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sends forth its weary cry across the dark.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh, wailing bird, I know, I know!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I think tonight the soul of the world is desolate</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And you and I its watchers.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Yet cease! oh cease!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The night air quivers and resounds</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To bear your cry across the sleeping lake,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And I would have your silence</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While I make</div> + <div class="verse indent0">My own complaint.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">For I would ask why we who have so little space</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To live and love and wonder</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Must go down into eternal mystery</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Alone:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And I would know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Why, since that awful loneliness must be,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We go about as strangers here on earth</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And meet and laugh and mock and part again</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With never a look into each others’ eyes,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With never a question of each others’ pain.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">So, even as I hear your melancholy plaint</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Across the sleeping lake,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I send my questing cry across the world—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And as I watch and listen,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Through the stillness</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There comes to me an echoing and a far reverberation</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of the many who have gone</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Into the limitless mystery,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And thus they speak—</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“We too have known your questing,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We too have stretched our arms forth to the night</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And clasped its nothingness,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We too have lived and loved and wondered</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For a little space</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And then gone onward,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And we seek across the silence</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To send our voices</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Out, out, across the dark.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Is it your voice I hear, oh far, strange bird,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or is it theirs—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Theirs who have gone onward</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Alone and unafraid?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Is there an answer I may sometime find,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or is it that our lips are dumb,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Our eyes are blind,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When love would come?</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"> + +<hr class="tb"></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Now faint light comes upon the shadowy sky,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The East is waking and the day begins.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You send your cry across the quivering lake,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I send my question out across the world,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We watch, we two,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Alone.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="TO_MAURICE_BROWNE"><i>TO MAURICE BROWNE</i></h3> +</div> + +<p class="center">(<i>On his creation of Capulchard in Cloyd Head’s “Grotesques.”</i>)</p> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Shadows are round me as the dawn breaks,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Shadows with long white swaying arms</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And anguished faces.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I see them meet and touch and part</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Crying their desire,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While a bitter figure moulds them</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In a shifting decoration</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Which enchants, eludes and maddens,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Imprisoning my dreams.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Now they plead and droop and cower,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Holding wan hands</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To whatever gods there be,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Praying intercession</div> + <div class="verse indent0">From the malign enchantment</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of their decorative doom</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whence they weep their silent tears.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh, Draughtsman terrible</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who puts out the moon and stars,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who smiles and waves a hand</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And puppet hearts are broken,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Let them love!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only a moment in a theater,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only a moment under the stars,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">All there may be before the end—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Let them love!</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"> + +<hr class="tb"></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The show is over.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The swaying puppets of a little longer hour</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Go forth and cry out their desire</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To a Master of Decoration,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Their God unseen,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And He, like you, smiles, puts forth a hand</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And blots the moon and stars</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And tears the glory from the earth and sky</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And cries:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Back to your places, fools!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You shall not love!”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="PRAYERS"><i>PRAYERS</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Day by day I tread my appointed way</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Greeting the sun with dutiful intent,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Seeing his slow decline into the West,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Watching draw near my night of quietude.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Each day I see fade slowly back to join</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Those other days, unlived, unloved, unmourned,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That have passed by in grave processional</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With never a golden one to mark their passing.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometimes at night I ask the friendly stars</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Tell me, what do I here? Why have I breath</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And this fair body in a world of shadows?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Why do I live?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But the stars shine silently</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And make no answer.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometimes I ask of God,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Dear Lord, I love Thee well</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But Thou art far away—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Couldst Thou not send to me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Someone on earth to love?</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">So should I love Thee more.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But God sends no one.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometimes I ask the far tumultuous sea,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Oh Sea, give me of your great beating heart!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Let me be swept on the whirlwind,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Let me be lulled and rocked,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Let me be storm-tossed, made mad,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then—let me perish!”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But the Sea roars on unheeding.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">So day by day I tread my appointed way</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Greeting the sun with dutiful intent,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Seeing his slow decline into the West,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Watching draw near my night of quietude.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="MY_BOAT_AND_I"><i>MY BOAT AND I</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">My staunch little boat is tugging at its moorings</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Eager to be free,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Eager to slip out on the great waters</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Beyond the returning tides,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Out to the unknown sea.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">My staunch little boat, unwilling prisoner,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Frets and pulls at the anchor chain</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While the wind calls,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Come! come!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I will bear you</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Out to the unknown sea!”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Long time my boat and I have plied the harbour</div> + <div class="verse indent0">On little busy journeyings intent,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Long time with wistful gazing</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I have listened to the calling—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The winds with buffeting caress,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The waves with ceaseless urge—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Calling “Rest, rest, rest,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Rest on an unknown sea.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">And now we are away</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Into the mystery.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Quietly the swaying waters</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Rock and beguile and soothe us</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That we may not know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We are so far away.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Along the shore</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Are hands stretched out.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What would you with me now,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh pleading hands?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I come not to you any more,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I have set my sail</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Out to the unknown sea,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Would you have me stay adventuring?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Would you have me come again</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To be amidst you</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With alien eyes and a heart unquiet?</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh cease your crying!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I come not back.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Long time my little boat and I</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Have fretted at the mooring,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Long time we have looked out beyond the bar</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With a great questioning, and a great wonder,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then, an hour came which held the parting</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And we slipped</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Out, out, to the unknown sea.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"> + +<hr class="tb"></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The hands stretched out have faded from my sight,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The shore is dim,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">The mountains fade into the limitless blue,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only the wind and the sea companion me,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Singing</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Rest, rest, rest,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Rest on an unknown sea.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="PICTURES"><i>PICTURES</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I saw a little boy go hurrying</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Towards an old man nodding in the sun.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He tweaked him by the sleeve</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And gazed at him with insistent frowning eyes</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Asking his question.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The old man blinked and muttered</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the child let go his sleeve</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And drooped and turned away.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"> + +<hr class="tb"></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I saw a mother counselling her daughter</div> + <div class="verse indent0">About her lover, and the girl was sullen,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Looking from out averted eyes</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For means to go to him;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the mother bowed her head</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And turned away.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"> + +<hr class="tb"></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I saw two lovers meet with hungry arms,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And kiss and speak and kiss again—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then speak with challenging tones and fall apart.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I saw them turn with tightened lips made dumb</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And eyes quick-quenched and dark.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Slowly they went their ways.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"> + +<hr class="tb"></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I saw a woman kneeling in a church,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her head was bent upon worn hands</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Clasped tightly.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her dress was black and poor.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">After a time she rose and shook her head,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then beat her fist upon the rail</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And clattered noisily down the aisle.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">At the door she paused,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Narrowed her eyes at the holy water</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And passed on.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="FORWARD_SINGING"><i>FORWARD, SINGING!</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Listen, girl, stand there near me,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Give me your two fluttering hands,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then listen.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Little hurrying human beings</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Are important and significant</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only in so far as they can stand alone.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Most of them stand sideways,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Propping themselves</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Against this brother or that brother</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or this sister or that sister,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Leaving each prop</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only to carom swiftly to the next.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Now shall not every one of these</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometime discover</div> + <div class="verse indent0">If his prop fall down</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He falls as well?</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Listen, beautiful child,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I would carve my destiny alone!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As a keen-eyed captain steers his ship</div> + <div class="verse indent0">By the light of the far north star</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Awake, alert, alone.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">So, laughing girl</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whom I call to my side,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hear!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I stand by myself.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I can love, aye, with a fierce flame,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But I love none so much, no man, no woman,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That his passing or his forgetfulness</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Shall undo me.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I and my soul</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Stand beyond the need of comforting.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">None has power to make me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Helpless, incomplete, beholden.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Now, bright child, golden girl,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Warm woman with the fluttering hands</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whom desire has brought,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Will you come to my arms?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I will give you love,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">No other lover can give you love like mine,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Come!</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Ah, that is well:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Quick, your mouth,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then forward, singing!</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">But,—if you had not come,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Laughing girl,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I would have gone forward singing</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Alone!</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="BARBERRIES"><i>BARBERRIES</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">You say I touch the barberries</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As a lover his mistress?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What a curious fancy!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">One must be delicate, you know,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They have bitter thorns.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You say my hand is hurt?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh no, it was my breast,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It was crushed and pressed—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I mean—why yes, of course, of course—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is a bright drop, isn’t there?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Right on my finger,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Just the color of a barberry,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But it comes from my heart.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Do you love barberries?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In the autumn</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When the sun’s desire</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Touches them to a glory of crimson and gold?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I love them best then.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is something splendid about them;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They are not afraid</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of being warm and glad and bold,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They flush joyously</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Like a cheek under a lover’s kiss,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They bleed cruelly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like a dagger wound in the breast,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They flame up madly for their little hour,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Knowing they must die—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Do you love barberries?</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="TWO_PATHS"><i>TWO PATHS</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Today it seemed God bent to me and said,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Pilgrim, you are weary, are you unaware</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You have two paths?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And I answered, wondering,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Tell me of them that I may choose.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And God said</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You have set your face towards a far goal,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To be attained</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only with heartbreak of endeavor.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It is written should you choose this path</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Many times you shall faint and falter,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Raising yourself with bruised hands</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And bewildered eyes,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And when at last</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You see the ending of the journey,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Before eternal silence comes,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You shall hear</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A little clamouring and tinkling of men’s voices:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But you will smile quietly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And turn away.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“And the other path?” I asked.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In a different voice God said,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">“The other path is short,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It ends but a little way ahead,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is no attainment, no acclaim;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only darkness, quiet,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Rest from desire,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And memory</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In the heart of the beloved.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">And I answered,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I have chosen.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="WHEN_YOU_COME"><i>WHEN YOU COME</i></h3> +</div> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>(“There was a girl with him for a time. She took him to her room when +he was desolate and warmed him and took care of him. One day he could +not find her. For many weeks he walked constantly in that locality in +search of her.”—From Life of Francis Thompson.)</p> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">When you come tonight</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To our small room</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You will look and listen—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I shall not be there.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">You will cry out your dismay</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To the unheeding gods;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You will wait and look and listen—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I shall not be there.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There is a part of you I love</div> + <div class="verse indent0">More than your hands in mine at rest;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is a part of you I love</div> + <div class="verse indent0">More than your lips upon my breast.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There is a part of you I wound</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Even in my caress;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is a part of you withheld</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I may not possess.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There is a part of you I hate—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Your need of me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When you would be alone,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Alone and free.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">When you come tonight</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To our small room</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You will look and listen—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I shall not be there.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="REST"><i>REST</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Often I have listened curiously</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To the sound of a simple word</div> + <div class="verse indent0">All seemed to know,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And wondered why I could not find</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Its meaning.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Often I have dreamed</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of that great Nothingness,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That Silence which shall come,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And asked if that</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Were rest.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">To the unquiet sea</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I have gone down</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Seeking companionship,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Calling out to the beating waves</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Do you too ask for rest?”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Of the wind and the rain</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Singing their requiem</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Over dead summer</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I have asked,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You will be quiet soon;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where do you find rest?”</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">To the white moon</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sailing serenely</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I have said,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You are dim and old and cold;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Have you found rest?”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">To the eternal sun</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Uprising solemnly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I have cried out,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“And this new day you bring,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Will it hold my rest?”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Once to my heart tumultuous</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There came a gleaming,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A far prophecy that like a fairy benison descending</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Gave answer to my questioning—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Strange message lit with wonderment—</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“Deep in the city’s labyrinthine heart</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There shall be moonlight for us and white song.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So ran the words,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And like a diapason of sweet sound</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Across the stillness,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Echoing, profound,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There crept the promise,—rest.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">And then—you came.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I turned to find your hand, your arms, your breast.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Deep in the city’s labyrinthine heart</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You held me close, at rest.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="MORITURUS_TE_SALUTO"><i>MORITURUS TE SALUTO</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">When one goes hence</div> + <div class="verse indent0">By his own hand alone</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We look aside.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In a hushed tone</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We say—“What pain has gone before</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The sudden end?”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">But I shall go</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Because I know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">No longer can the earth</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hold any other joy for me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like this.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">One night we had together,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only one.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In all the years</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For all my tears</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The gods have given me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only one night,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And it is over.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Now I am glad to go</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Into the Silence.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">I have breathed the heights.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I should but know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The level ways and paths</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of little valleys,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I will not, this should be.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">So, Beloved,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Remember</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It is because of happiness,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Not sorrow,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That I go.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">From the far coolness</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of eternity</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I shall look out</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To the grave stars,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Singing.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="FLASHLIGHTS"><i>FLASHLIGHTS</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The winter dusk creeps up the Avenue</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With biting cold.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Behind bright window panes</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In gauzy garments</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Waxen ladies smile</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As shirt-sleeved men</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hustle them off their pedestals for the night.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Along the Avenue</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A girl comes hurrying,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Holding her shawl.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She stops to look in at the window.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Oh Gee!” she says, “look at the chiffon muff!”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A whimpering dog</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Falters up to cringe against her skirt.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">A man in his shirt sleeves lolls against a tree,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">His feet stick out,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">His hands lie on the grass, palms up.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He stares ahead.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Now and again he turns himself</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As from the enshrouding darkness forms emerge</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Dragging their feet, arms interlocked,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Wan faces raised to the flare of light.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometimes these kiss,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Scream in brief laughter, or throw their bodies</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Prone on the welcoming earth.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The man watches them, then turns his head,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Gets himself upon his feet</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And walks away.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Candles toppling sideways in tomato cans</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sputter and sizzle at head and foot.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The gaudy patterns of a patch-work quilt</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Lie smooth and straight</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Save where upswelling over a silent shape.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A man in high boots stirs something on a rusty stove</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Round and round and round,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As a new cry like a bleating lamb’s</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Pierces his brain.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">After a time the man busies himself</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With hammer and nails and rough-hewn lumber</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But fears to strike a blow.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Outside the moonlight sleeps white upon the plain</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the bark of a coyote shrills across the night.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">A woman rocking, rocking, rocking,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A small hand waving, nestling:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Outside, lights blurred to starriness</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And summer rain.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"> + +<hr class="tb"></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Little waves slap softly and monotonously</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Against the pier:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A triangle of geese honk by;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">On the darkening sand</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Fresh lines traced with a stick—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I am sorry, Forgive,”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And a little oblong mound with a cross of twigs.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Near by a girl’s hat and dainty scarf.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">A smell of musk</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Comes to him pungently through the darkness.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">On the screen</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Scenes from foreign lands</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Released by the censor</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Shimmer in cool black and white</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Historic information.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He shifts his seat sideways, sideways—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A seeking hand creeps to another hand,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And a leaping flame</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Illuminates the historic information.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Within the room, sounds of weeping</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Low and hushed:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Without, a man, beautiful with the beauty</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of young strength,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Holds pitifully to the handle of the door.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He hiccoughs and turns away</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While a hand organ plays</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“The hours I spend with thee, dear heart.”</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">A pink feather atop of a greying white straw hat,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A peek-a-boo waist and skirt showing a line of stocking</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Above white shoes,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Stand in front of a judge</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who leans over a desk of golden oak</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And summons forward a sulky, slouching boy.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“You are required by this Court,” says the judge,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“To pay over to this woman</div> + <div class="verse indent0">One-third of your weekly wage</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For the support of your innocent child.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the clerk of the court calls out</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Next on the docket?”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="FLOODGATES"><i>FLOODGATES</i></h3> +</div> + + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Dear, try to understand.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I wish that you could see,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Now I am free</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of all the fret and torment,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little daily miseries of love,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That I can take you in my arms at night</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With a quick tenderness,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With a new delight,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Yet go my way untroubled if I do not find you,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Forgetting in my zest for many things</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is a you.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I wonder if you can ever understand?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Do you not know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That I would go</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Forth now to meet life’s great adventuring</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Alone?</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I would be unloosed from why and wherefore,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I would not be stayed</div> + <div class="verse indent0">By sorrowing or rejoicing,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Even the enchantment of your nearness,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or your touch at night</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Is powerless any more</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To come between my loneliness and me.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">They say that prisoners grow to love their chains,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So now, after long years of bitter reaching out,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of crying to the winds</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And clasping only shadows of my dreaming,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I love my torment.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">We are such old companions,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Loneliness and I!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We have learned to ask but little of each other;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is no longer any turning away</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With hurt, averted eyes;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So, Beloved,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Let me keep my loneliness for friend,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The only friend I trust.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">When you and I first met</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And looked to each other’s eyes</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Our swift desire,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I gave with reckless hands</div> + <div class="verse indent0">My life into your keeping.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Upon your eyes, your words, your body’s grace</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I hung, poor fool, a-tremble;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For you had power</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To blot the brightening day,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To irradiate the night,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">With your sweet hands</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To lift me to the mountains where the spirits danced</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or drag me through a hell of furious pain.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">And you would like to have that power again</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In your two hands?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh no, my little one,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">No, my pretty one,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Henceforward</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For all your sighing</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You shall but have my sudden, strong caresses,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">My tenderness, my love,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That out, out, out I go</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Into the sun</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Alone.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">So, Man of mine!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I may henceforward ask</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only your strong caresses?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I am your little one,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I am your pretty one,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Even your Beloved, now that you are free</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of little fret and torment.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I may give you pleasuring,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But no more pain.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Is that your meaning?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I would be clear at last.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh Man of mine,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">We are standing face to face,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Now let there shine</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The search-light of our speech</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Across the night of silence.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Before us two</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There lie dim years for traversing,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Behind, a mist</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Through which we long time groped</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With futile hands,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And now, today, we meet.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Dear, do I not know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That there were gleams across the darkness—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Swift lightenings</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Towards which we onward pressed</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As, for an instant,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Seeing our far quest</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Within our grasp?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Perhaps these were your beckoning hands,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Your dancing spirits on the mountain peaks,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But not for long we saw them.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And now today it seems</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That I must find</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What shall be done</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When you go out alone</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Into the sun.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I have so often watched your silent face,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Your quiet mouth,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Your smooth, white brow,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And longed for speech!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I have so often wished to tell</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of pent-up treasures in my breast</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You could not find!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I would have given you such golden wealth</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Had you but come!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Had you but said “I want your all.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But you were dumb.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">You went your ways silently</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And never asked my gift.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Dear, day by day I lifted to your lips</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A chalice brimming with rich wine,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And you but sipped a little and turned away,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the wine was spilled.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The years have passed:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There may not be upgathering</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of wasted days,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As seasons flushed and waned</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We have sown and reaped and harvested.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Now, what shall come?</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I cannot go forth</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As you, into the Sun</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Alone,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I cannot take</div> + <div class="verse indent0">My loneliness by the hand</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For chosen friend, as you.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I am a woman and I want</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Not tenderness,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Not strong caresses only,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But the soul of you,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">My Man.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Dear, give me your hands,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Look into my eyes and tell me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">If you can find the soul of me.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I think it has gone questing.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Call it back!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Recapture the wingèd thing,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And I will give it gladly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Into your keeping.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But, dear heart, be fearful—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Souls are delicate.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What if mine died long since,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What time it gave up seeking</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To find your own?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Your eyes are wet, forgive!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Let there be no more hurting,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Joy there has been in our meeting.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I would banish weeping.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Let the still waters wash away pain</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Into the sea of forgetting.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Still may we look into each other’s eyes,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Still answer to the senses’ quick demand,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But as the years have marked us in their passing</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So must we go onward—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hand in hand still,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Yet alone.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="CHLOROFORM"><i>CHLOROFORM</i></h3> +</div> + +<p class="center">(<i>Written in collaboration with Arthur Davison Ficke.</i>)</p> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">A sickening odour, treacherously sweet,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Steals through my sense heavily.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Above me leans an ominous shape,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Fearful, white-robed, hooded and masked in white.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The pits of his eyes</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Peer like the portholes of an armoured ship,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Merciless, keen, inhuman, dark.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The hands alone are of my kindred;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Their slender strength, that soon shall press the knife</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Silver and red, now lingers slowly above me,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The last links with my human world ...</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">... The living daylight</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Clouds and thickens.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Flashes of sudden clearness stream before me,—and then</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A menacing wave of darkness</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Swallows the glow with floods of vast and indeterminate grey.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But in the flashes</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I see the white form towering,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Dim, ominous,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like some apostate monk whose will unholy</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Has renounced God; and now</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In this most awful secret laboratory</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Would wring from matter</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Its stark and appalling answer.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">At the gates of a bitter hell he stands, to wrest with eager fierceness</div> + <div class="verse indent0">More of that dark forbidden knowledge</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Wherefrom his soul draws fervor to deny.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The clouds have grown thicker; they sway around me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Dizzying, terrible, gigantic; pressing in upon me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like a thousand monsters of the deep with formless arms.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I cannot push them back, I cannot!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">From far, far off, a voice I knew long ago</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sounds faintly thin and clear.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Suddenly in a desperate rebellion I strive to answer,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I strive to call aloud,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But darkness chokes and overcomes me:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">None may hear my soundless cry.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A depth abysmal opens,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Receives, enfolds, engulfs me,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Wherein to sink at last seems blissful</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Even though to deeper pain....</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">O respite and peace of deliverance!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The silence</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Lies over me like a benediction.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As in the earth’s first pale creation-morn</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Among winds and waters holy</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I am borne as I longed to be borne.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">I am adrift in the depths of an ocean grey</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like seaweed, desiring solely</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To drift with the winds and waters; I sway</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Into their vast slow movements; all the shores</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of being are laved by my tides.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I am drawn out toward spaces wonderful and holy</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where peace abides,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And into golden æons far away.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">But over me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where I swing slowly,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Bodiless in the bodiless sea,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Very far,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh very far away,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Glimmeringly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hangs a ghostly star</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Toward whose pure beam I must flow resistlessly.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Well do I know its ray!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It is the light beyond the worlds of space,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">By groping, sorrowing man yet never known—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The goal where all men’s blind and yearning desire</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Has vainly longed to go</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And has not gone:—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where Eternity has its blue-walled dwelling-place,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the crystal ether opens endlessly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To all the recessed corners of the world,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like liquid fire</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Pouring a flood through the dimness revealingly;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where my soul shall behold, and in lightness of wonder rise higher</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Out of the shadow that long ago</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Around me with mortality was furled.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I rise where have winds</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of the night never flown;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Shaken with rapture</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Is the vault of desire.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The weakness that binds</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like a shadow is gone.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The bonds of my capture</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Are sundered with fire!</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">This is the hour</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When the wonders open!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The lightning-winged spaces</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Through which I fly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Accept me, a power</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose prisons are broken—</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"> + +<hr class="tb"></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">... But the wonder wavers—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The light goes out.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I am in the void no more; changes are imminent.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Time with a million beating wings</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Deafens the air in migratory flight</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like the roar of seas—and is gone ...</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And a silence</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Lasts deafeningly.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In darkness and perfect silence</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I wander groping in my agony,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Far from the light lost in the upper ether—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Unknown, unknowable, so nearly mine.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the ages pass by me,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Thousands each instant, yet I feel them all</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To the last second of their dragging time.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Thus have I striven always</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Since the world began.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And when it dies I still must struggle ...</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"> + +<hr class="tb"></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The voice I knew so long ago, like a muffled echo under the sea</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Is coming nearer.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Strong hands</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Grip mine.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And words whose tones are warm with some forgotten consolation,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Some unintelligible hope,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Drag me upward in horrible mercy;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the cold once-familiar daylight glares into my eyes.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">He stands there,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The white apostate monk,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Speaking low lying words to soothe me.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And I lift my voice out of its vales of agony</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And laugh in his face,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Mocking him with astonishment of wonder.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For he has denied;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And I have come so near, so near to knowing....</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Then as his hand touches me gently, I am drawn up from the lonely abysses,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And suffer him to lead me back into the green valleys of the living.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="THE_BEGINNING_OF_THE_JOURNEY"><i>THE BEGINNING OF THE JOURNEY</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Where are you, Dear?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What is it that I hold—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A shape, a phantom, who will not ease my pain?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">O Beloved! My beloved!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What is it comes between our seeking arms?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Lip to lip we press</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And breast to breast,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Straining to overleap the barrier,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And all the while we know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We are apart.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We know tomorrow we shall be</div> + <div class="verse indent0">More horribly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Alone.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Do you remember</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When we first cried out each to each?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">How the valleys rang with laughter and gay words</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And eager promises?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Do you remember how we told each other</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Pain was over,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That nothing now could come</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We could not still with kisses?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Do you remember those first days</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">When the world was lost in a dream and a forgetting</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And eternity was ours?</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Then, as the years followed,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Do you remember how we found</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That pain must be?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">How, heavy-hearted, we gazed bewildered</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Into each other’s eyes,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Asking, why?</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">One night you would not speak,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And when I pressed you for your cause of silence</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You said “I tried to tell you once</div> + <div class="verse indent0">My heart’s dim heaviness,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But you are a man, you can never understand.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then I saw</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That we were far away from one another,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For I had thought the same.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">And after</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In a quick ache of sympathy</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We kissed and clung,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then you slept.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I heard the little sobbing breaths</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like a hurt child’s</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of a loneliness I had no power to soothe.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We asked so much!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We looked to each other as some look to God,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And when God came not</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And our lifted hands were empty</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We cried out that love was dead.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">We have grown patient since</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And pitifully wise,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We see how little may be given,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And we are thankful</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Lest there be nothing.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Yet even when I lay my wearied head</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Upon your knees and fall asleep</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To waken with your hand on my hot brow,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then, when I thank God, if there be a God,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For you—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We are apart.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Yesterday I watched you</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Protect the child against the winter cold.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Warmly you wrapped him</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While his baby face laughed back at you</div> + <div class="verse indent0">From its frame of softest fur:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I think a great hand comes and wraps us so,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Each in his loneliness as in an enfolding garment,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That we shall be ready</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To make our last great journeying</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Alone.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">As the years go onward</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Little by little we turn</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And draw away from love’s dominion,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Little by little we loose the clinging hands</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">That hinder from adventuring,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oftener and more often</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We go apart</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To ask ourselves</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The inevitable question.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The friends we seek are questioners</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who strive, like us, to cross with thoughts</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The illimitable void:</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Therefore, Dear, give over</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Trying to comfort,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Give over the wish to yield me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">All I need—</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Once long ago I lost myself in you,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Once long ago I was but part of you,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Bereft without you,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Mad for lack of you,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Now I am I,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Preparing to go onward</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When the end shall come</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Alone.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span></p> +<h2 class="nobreak" id="III">III<br><span class="small">STORIES IN METRE</span></h2> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</span></p> + +<h3 class="nobreak" id="THE_PRISONER"><i>THE PRISONER</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“We had a prisoner once,” the Warden said,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Who was no common man. I could not say</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To make it clear, where lay the difference,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And yet, and yet,—something was there I know.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“Tell me of him,” I said, drawing a chair,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Knowing that in the old man’s heart there lay</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Many a story.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent16">“Willingly,” he answered,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Yet when all’s said, you’ll know no more than I</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Why his words puzzle me; why, when I pass</div> + <div class="verse indent0">His cell, I always think that I can see</div> + <div class="verse indent0">His eyes, his following eyes, that seemed to ask</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Over and over again, some kind of question.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">He thought a moment, then began his story</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As if by careful measuring of his words</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He tried to make me see what he found dim.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“You know the row of cells,” he said, “they built</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To make the fourth row ’round the hollow square?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They front the East, and so I put him there.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d hardly like to say what was the reason,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It seems so foolish; but, the day he came,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Just as the big door opened, I had seen</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Him turn his head, and this is what he said:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">‘And it is I,—I, who have loved the Dawn!’</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A queer thing, wasn’t it? I suppose he thought</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That he would never see it any more.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“It’s strange how little things come back to you!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I can remember when he saw his cell</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He bent his head, making a kind of greeting,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then quickly stepped across and glanced around:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">‘And this is what I have to call my home’</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Was what he thought, I guess. It always seems</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To sicken me somehow, to show ’em in,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The hopeful ones the most, I know so well</div> + <div class="verse indent0">How soon the eager look will disappear!”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“But tell me what he was in prison for?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I said, and met the old man’s quick “What for?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh well, there wasn’t room enough outside.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Why do you want to know? What does it matter?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He was no common man. You’d think by now</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d stop my foolish bothering. I’m used</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Enough, God knows, to tangled human threads—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh what’s the use to try and tell it now?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’m such a fool! I can’t go by his cell</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Without the wondering clutching at me here!”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He laid his hand upon his breast; I thought</div> + <div class="verse indent0">His mind had dwelt too long with pain, and now</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">His fancies troubled him. “Mad then, perhaps?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I asked, and saw my blundering words had been</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Salt to a wound. He turned away and said</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“No, no, he was not that, not mad,” and stepped</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Beside a shelf of little useless things</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Fumbling among them.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent22">Presently he turned</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And placed within my hands a woman’s picture.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I took it silently, afraid to comment.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Think what you please,” he said, “for I don’t know,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As no one came to take away his things</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I kept the picture. It was dear to him.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">A gentle woman’s face looked up at me;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A tender face, lips parted, young grave eyes.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I seemed to see within their depths a question,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And turned to meet the old man’s twisted smile.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Nodding, he murmured, “So, you see it too?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then took the picture from me and began</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Again, though haltingly, his troubled tale.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“At first he read and spoke and ate his food</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As if he thought he would not be here long</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And must be patient. Often he would ask</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What time it was, or if it rained or shone,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Begging for outside news, and when I brought</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Letters or papers, seized them greedily</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And strained his eyes to get the contents quickly.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometimes he’d hail me as I passed along</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">With such a flow of eager questioning talk,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I wondered anyone so rich in words</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Could bear his solitude and not go mad</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With silence; but—our prison rules are stern.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I shot the bolts that dulled that silver voice,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And now I hear it echoing down the years.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The old man rose and made a little pretence</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To put the picture back upon the shelf.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“Well, time went on,” seating himself, he said,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“And as I made my rounds each day I thought</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The prisoner seemed to draw himself away.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Not rudely; more as if he could not break</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The current of his thoughts, and up and down</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He’d walk; they all do that, but he as if</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He had some light inside his mind. Don’t think</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’m crazy, but,—it’s hard to put in words.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometimes I’d have my little try to break</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Across the distance. With a sudden smile</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He’d lay his hand upon me—‘Yes, I know,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I know,’ and so would push me to the door.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I feared to go to him, and yet I loved</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The man as if he’d been my son. I knew</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The end was coming soon. My heart was sore,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But I was powerless.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent20">“One thing alone</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Could wean him from his strange expectancy,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A little written word that came half-yearly.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">I knew that it was due, and when it came</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I beat upon his door; I had the letter—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Slowly he turned to meet me and I stopped,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Seeing it was too late.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent24">“Then from my hands</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He took the letter, lifting it silently,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The way a priest lifts up the sacrament,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then gave it slowly back to me and said,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">‘Why bring me bread? So little, little bread?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Why eke my life along so grudgingly?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Take back the letter, I am far away,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Keep back the bread and I shall sooner know.’</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And followed by his eyes, I left the cell</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And soon he died.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent18">“No no, he was not mad,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But only one to whom the Dawn was real.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="ELLIE"><i>ELLIE</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">She came to do my nails.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Came in my door and stood before me waiting,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A great big lummox of a girl—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A continent.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her dress was rusty black</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And scant,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her hat, a melancholy jumble of basement counter bargains.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her sullen eyes,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Like a whipped animal’s,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Shone out between her silly bulging cheeks and puffy forehead.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">She dropped her coat upon a chair</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And waited;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then, at a word, busied herself</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With files and delicate scissors,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sweet-smelling oils and my ten finger-tips.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">She proved so deft and silent</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I bade her come again;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And twice a week</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While summer dawned and flushed and waned</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She used me in her parasitic trade.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">The dress grew rustier,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The hat more melancholy,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And Ellie fatter.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Each time she came I wondered as she worked</div> + <div class="verse indent0">If thought lay anywhere</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Behind that queer uncouthness.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She had a trick of seizing with her eyes</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Each passing thing,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">An insatiate greediness for something out of reach;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And yet she seemed enwrapped</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In a kind of solemn patience,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Large, aloof and waiting.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We hardly ever spoke—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I could not think of anything worth saying;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">One does not chatter with a continent.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Finally it was homing time;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The seashore town was raw and desolate</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And idlers flitted.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The last day Ellie came</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her calm was gone, she had been crying.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Fat people never ought to cry;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It’s awful....</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The hot drops fell upon my hand</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While Ellie dropped the scissors suddenly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And sniffed and blew and sobbed</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In disconcerting and unreserved abandonment.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I said the usual things;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I would have patted her but for the grease,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But Ellie was not comforted.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Not until the storm was spent</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And only little catching breaths were left</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I got the reason.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I’m so fat,” she gulped, “so awful, awful fat</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The boys won’t look at me.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then it came, the stammered, passionate cry:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Could I not help?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Could I not find a medicine?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We talked and talked</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And when at dusk she went, a teary smile</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hovered a moment on her mouth</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And in those sullen, swollen eyes</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A little hope perhaps;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I did not know.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The city and its interests soon engulfed me.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A letter or two,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A doctor’s vague advice to bant and exercise,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And Ellie and her woes passed from my mind</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Until, as summer dawned again,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I heard that she was dead.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A curious letter written stiffly,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">From Ellie’s mother,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Told me I was invited to the funeral</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“By wish of the Deceased.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Wondering I travelled to the little town</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where the sea beat and groaned</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And sorrowed endlessly,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And made my way down the steep street</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">To Ellie’s door.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her mother met me in the hall</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And motioned,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“She wanted you to see her,”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then ushered me into an awful place, the parlor—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A place of emerald plush and golden oak</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Set round with pride and symmetry,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And in the midst</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A black and silver coffin—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Ellie’s coffin.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Raising the lid she pointed and I looked.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Somewhere in Florence Mino da Fiesole</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Has made a tomb</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where deathless beauty lies with upturned face.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Two gentle hands, palms meeting,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Touch with their pointed forefingers</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A delicate chin, and over the vibrant body</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Clings a white robe</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Enshrouding chastely</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Warm curving lines of adolescent grace.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">No sleeper this,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The figure glows, alert, awake, aware,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As if some sudden ecstacy had stolen life</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And held imprisoned there</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The moment of attainment</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Rapt, imperishable and fair.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Even so lay Ellie,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And when from somewhere far I heard</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">The mother’s voice</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I listened vacantly.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The woman chattered on,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“The dress you know, white chiffon, like a wedding dress—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I never knew she had it,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She must ’a made it by herself.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It’s queer it fitted perfectly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">An’ her all thin like that—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She must ’a thought—”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Then black-robed relatives came streaming in</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To look at Ellie.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I watched them start</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And glance around for explanation.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The mother pinched my arm:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Don’t ask me anything now,” she whispered;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Come back tonight.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Then old, old words were sung and prayed and droned,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While everybody dutifully cried,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And when the village parson</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Rhythmically proclaimed,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And this mortal shall put on immortality,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With a great welcoming</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And a great lightening</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I knew at last the ancient affirmation.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">When evening came I found the mother</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sitting amidst her golden oak and plush</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">In a kind of isolated stateliness.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She led me in.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“’Twas the stuff she took that did it,”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She began; “I never knew till after she was dead.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The bottles in the woodshed, hundreds of ’em</div> + <div class="verse indent0">All labelled ‘Caldwell’s Great Obesity Cure</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Warranted Safe and Rapid.’</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh ain’t it awful?” and she fell to crying miserably;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“But wasn’t she real pretty in her coffin?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then she cried again</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And clung to me.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="THE_PARK_BENCH"><i>THE PARK BENCH</i></h3> +</div> + + +<h4><span class="smcap">A Stranger, a Man, a Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>The pallid night wind touched their burning cheeks</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>With fetid breath, whispered a dim distress</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>And flickered out; while whirling insects danced</i></div> + <div class="verse indent0"><i>Their crazy steps with death around the light.</i></div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The night is hot and the crowds intolerable,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">May I sit here between you on this bench?</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I s’pose the bench is free to anybody.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ve been walking up and down and wondering</div> + <div class="verse indent0">If I should speak. You sat here silently,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You two. I could not tell what troubled you.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I guess I was thinkin’, Mister. I didn’t know</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There was any other person anywhere near.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</span></p> +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I don’t know who she is. She’s nothin’ to me.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She’s got a kid there in her shawl, maybe</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her trouble’s there.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent22">It’s hard to keep up courage;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The heat is sickening, it weighs you down.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d like to see the child; may I see its face?</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">He’s two weeks old today.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent24">A sturdy youngster!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What do you call him? What’s his name, I mean?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Don’t turn away. I meant no harm, you know.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Didn’t I tell you? Something’s wrong, I guess. Maybe</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He’s deserted, with another comin’ on.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Ask her again; likely she’s needin’ help.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">You seem unhappy. Can’t you tell me why?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d like to help you if I can, because—</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Well, once I had a little son like that.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Come! what have you got to tell? Out with the story.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">See there, the boy is stretching out a hand,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He knows a friend is somewhere ’round, eh, Sonny?</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">You’d like to know what I have got to tell?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I guess you don’t know what you’re askin’, Mister.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You see that big house over there? You see</div> + <div class="verse indent0">This baby blinkin’ here? Well, that’s the house</div> + <div class="verse indent0">His father lives in. I just found it out,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Found where it was, I mean, then I come here—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh, what’s the sense o’ tellin’ any more?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That’s all there is, I guess.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent28">I’d like the story;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometimes the pain is eased by speaking out.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I don’t know why you want to know about me,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It’s no concern of yours, but if you’ll promise</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You’ll let him be, I’ll tell you all there is.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">You have my promise.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</span></p> +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent26">More’n a year ago</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It was, I seen him first, an’ ’twasn’t long</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Before I thought a lot and so did he.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He said he’d take a flat and furnish it</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And we’d keep house together all alone.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He said he had to travel, but he’d come</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As often as he could, and stay as long.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d worked, you know; I never had a place</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I liked to live in, an’ he let me buy</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A lot of things I wanted; then he’d laugh</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And say I liked the flat so much, perhaps</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He’d better stay away and not muss up</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The tidies on the chairs. He always had</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A lot of money. When he gave me some</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He’d never say how much it was, but just,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Here’s more to buy the tidies with,” and laugh.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It wasn’t long—that little time. I like</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To think about it, but it seems so far!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Just like another city or a place</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That wasn’t any more; I don’t know why,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I guess the flat’s there still, if I should go—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Hush, honey, hush—don’t you be cryin’ now.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I s’pose I’d ought to tell you that he said</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I mustn’t have the kid. I didn’t care;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I didn’t want it, neither. When I knew,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I had to tell, because I got so sick.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He didn’t say a word to make me cry,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Not much of anything. He put a lot</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of money in the drawer and went away—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I never seen him since, until—today.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Until—today—over there, this afternoon</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I seen him laughin’ with another kid,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And mine right here, right here, do you understand?</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I think I understand, but please go on.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I told you he’d put money in the drawer;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I hated takin’ it; but o’ course it lasted</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For quite a while,—until I had to go</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And be took care of at a hospital.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">At first I tried to find him, but I knew</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He didn’t want me to. I thought perhaps</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When I could take the kid, he’d like it then.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When I was packin’ up I found a paper,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A bill, I guess, all rumpled, in a coat</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He left. It had a name I didn’t know.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">At first I didn’t think, but lyin’ there</div> + <div class="verse indent0">All quiet in the hospital I saw</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It was his name, his truly name, and where</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He lived and all. This afternoon my time</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Was up—by rights I’d oughta left the ward</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Four days ago. They gave me this, for the food,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Directions how to fix it right, you know,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And told me I could go, and so I came.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I thought he’d surely want to see me now,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When I was well again, just like I was.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I waited in the park and watched the house,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It looked so big I couldn’t ring the bell.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Maybe ’twas six o’clock I saw him come;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Just by the steps a baby carriage turned</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And waited for him comin’ up the street.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The woman wheelin’ it called out “Look there!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There’s Daddy! Can’t you throw a kiss to him?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I saw him lift the baby ’way up high,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And carry it in the house. Then I come here.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I see. And that is all you plan to do?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I mean, you won’t go back?</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent30">What can I do?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You see, he doesn’t want me any more.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d like to die, but here’s the kid! I guess</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I can’t leave him. An’ anyway I’m ’fraid</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To die alone. I don’ know what I’ll do.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I wish that I could think of anything</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To say that maybe’d help a little bit.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">May I just—shake your hand?—Excuse me, Mister.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</span></p> +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I didn’t know as you was listenin’ too.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Perhaps you’d like to hear what’s happened to me.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You’ll see that somebody has known the like</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of what you’re feelin’, maybe it will help.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Ah! I was right then? Both of you are troubled?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The night has brought us three together here;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We must be friends. It’s queer how loneliness</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Makes one reach one, as I have reached, to you.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I think each one of us needs both the others.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Well, Mister, you don’t look as if you’d need</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Our help, but maybe you do, maybe, who knows?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll tell you what’s been happening to me.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’m sick of thoughts goin’ round and round and round,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I wonder if anybody’ll ever know,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I mean to understand, what I’ve been thinkin’.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Why don’t you start? We’ll try to understand.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</span></p> +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll tell you first that I’m a drinking man,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And that’s a thing that causes lots of trouble.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She’s not to blame, she stood it for a while.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She had the children, there are two, you know,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But I was pretty bad. I hated it,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But there it was, and every day a fight,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And oftener and oftener I’d lose.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">One day she went away and took the children.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They served some papers on me; I was drunk</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And didn’t care; but pretty soon I knew</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That she had gone for good. A lawyer came</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And talked to me, after she’d talked to him.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And afterwards I saw her in the Court.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The Judge said I must leave our house, and if,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For two years, I could cut the liquor out</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She’d let me back.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent18">And so I got a room</div> + <div class="verse indent0">About two blocks away where I could see</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The children as they passed along to school.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sometimes I’d walk a little way with them,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But when I couldn’t answer all their questions</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d think I’d better let ’em be, and so</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d only watch ’em from behind the blind.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Well, Ma’am, I tried my best; I made a calendar</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To mark the days. I got a good promotion.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The time went by, and all the while I thought</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Two years are only seven hundred days</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And thirty over! I can stick it out!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then one day I’ll dress myself up clean</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And meet the children and we’ll go back home.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d marked the calendar six hundred off</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And eighty-six, and forty-four were left.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The heat came on and took the starch all out</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of everything. I didn’t care what happened.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I thought she didn’t mean to keep her promise—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A week ago—oh, well, you know the rest.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I don’t know where I’ve been. I’d like to die,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only I’ve been so lonesome in that room.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I seem to be afraid to die alone!</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I’m awful sorry, Mister, awful sorry.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Seems like tonight most everybody’s luck</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Has all gone back on ’em. Thank you for tellin’!</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There’s no use sitting here in silence, is there?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We’ve got to find some way to help you both.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d like to if I can, but anyhow,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We’ve helped each other just by speaking out.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">If you’ll wait here I’ll get a cab and take</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You and the baby to the Sisters’ Home.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Perhaps you’ll come to my office in the morning;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d like to talk to you; I’m sure we’ll find</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There’s something we can plan. Here is the address.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">I sha’n’t be long, keep talking so’s to cheer her,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It was a kindly thought of yours to tell</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Your story after hers. We’ll find some way.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">What ’ud he mean? About the Sisters’ Home?</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Some place where you an’ the kid can go, I s’pose.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">It’s queer how everybody’s good to you</div> + <div class="verse indent0">’Ceptin’ the only one you want to be.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">He said it wasn’t any use to sit</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Here silent; that you’d better speak it out;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It always helped. He said he’d find a way.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Do you believe there’s anything ahead</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For you or me? I wonder if there is.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I’m done with wonderin’ long ago, I know!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I want to die! God, how I want to die!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But here’s the kid, he didn’t ask to come,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And he’s so little, what ’ud become of him?</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</span> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Do you believe there’s anything—over there?</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There’s rest.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent14">I know there’s rest, but when I’ve sat</div> + <div class="verse indent0">All by myself there in that little room</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Thinking things out, sometimes it seemed there must</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Be something more. I’d mighty well like to know.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">If I could find someone to take the kid</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’d like to rest, just rest, I wouldn’t want</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Much of anything more. There isn’t anything.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I wish I wasn’t scared to die alone.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">You said that once before. Do you mean it, really?</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">What are you thinkin’ about? Say it out, say it out!</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</span></p> +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">What if we went together, you and I?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There ain’t any use of livin’ any more.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We’d find out something, anyhow.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">You mean—</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I mean I’m sick o’ livin’, so are you.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Put the kid down there by the evergreens.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He’ll come and find it—he said he’d get a cab;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He’ll take it to the Sisters. Oh, I’m crazy!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Don’t put it there! Take it up again, I say!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A little kid like that! Don’t listen to me.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">He’s sleeping now; he’ll never know what’s happened.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">You’re goin’ to? Well, come along then fast</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or he’ll come back. We’re both of us crazy now,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But what’s the sense of livin’ any more?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Maybe there’s something better—over there.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</span></p> +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Wait till I fix him comfortable. Say, Mister,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I was lookin’ at the river, by the pier,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only I was afraid. Will you stay beside me?</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Yes, that’s the place, come quickly, ’twon’t take long.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Woman</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Maybe we could find a piece of iron</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or something heavy, so’s they wouldn’t find us;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There’s lots around the pier.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Man</span></h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent32">I’ll tell you what:</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll tie our hands together to the iron</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So the waves won’t—</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="THE_SISTERS"><i>THE SISTERS</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">We four</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Live here together</div> + <div class="verse indent0">My three old sisters and I</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In a white cottage</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With flowers on each side of the path up to the door.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It is here we eat together,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">At eight, one, and seven,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">All the year round,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It is here we sew together</div> + <div class="verse indent0">On garments for the Church sewing society</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Here,—behind our fresh white dimity curtains</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That I’ll soon have to do up and darn again.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It is this cottage we mean</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When we use the word Home.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Is it not here we lie down and sleep</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Each night all near together?</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">We never meet</div> + <div class="verse indent0">My three old sisters and I.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We never look into each others’ eyes</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We never look into each others’ souls,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or if we do for a moment</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We quickly begin to talk about the jam</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">How much sugar to put in and when.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We run away and hide, like mice before the light;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We are afraid to look into each others’ souls</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So we keep on sewing, sewing.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">My three old sisters are old</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Very old.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It is not such a great while since they were born</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Yet they are old.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I think it is because they will not look and see.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I am not old</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But pretty soon I will be.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I was thinking of that when I went to him</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where he was waiting.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">My sisters had been talking together all the long afternoon</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While I sat sewing and silent,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Clacking, clacking away while the lilac scent came in at the window</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the branches beckoned and sighed.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">This is what they said—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“How did that paper come into our house?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Fit to be burnt, don’t you think?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then the third, “It’s a shameless sheet</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To print such a sensual thing.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The paper lay on the table there, between my three sisters</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With my poem in it,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">My little happy poem without any name.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I had been with him when I wrote it and I wanted him again.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The words arose in my heart clamouring for birth—</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And there they were, between my three sisters.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Each read it in turn</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Holding the paper far off with the tips of her fingers.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then they hustled it into the fire</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Giving it an extra poke with the tongs, a vicious poke.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then each sister settled back to her sewing</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With a satisfied air.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I looked at them and I wondered.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I looked at each one,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And I went to him that night—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where he was waiting.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">My three old sisters are dying</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Though they do not know it.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They are not dying serenely</div> + <div class="verse indent0">After life is over,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They are just getting dryer and dryer</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And sharper and sharper;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Soon there will not be any more of them at all.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I am not like them</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I cannot be</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For I have a reason for living.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While they were picking their little pale odourless blossoms</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I gathered my great red flower</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And oh I am glad, glad,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For now when the time comes I can die serenely,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I can die after living.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">But first what is to come?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I am going to give my three old sisters a shock</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then what a rumpus there will be!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They will upbraid and reproach</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then they will whisper to each other, nodding slowly and sadly</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Telling each other it is not theirs to judge.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So they will become kind and pitiful</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Affirming that I am their sister</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And that they will stick by and see me through.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But underneath they will be touching me with the lifted tips of their fingers.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They would like to hustle me into the fire</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With an extra poke of the tongs.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Perhaps I will pretend to hang my head,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Perhaps I will to please them,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I am very obliging—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But in my heart I shall be laughing with a great laughter,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A great exaltation.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Yes they will upbraid and reproach</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In grave and sisterly accents</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And mourn over me,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">One who has fallen;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Yet I suspect</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As each one goes to her cold little room,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Deep in her breast she will envy</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With a terrible envy</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The child that is mine</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And the night</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The incredible night</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When the sun and the moon and the stars</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Bent down</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And gave me their secrets.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="REASON"><i>REASON</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Doctor! Doctor! I want you to come in.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Doctor! Don’t you hear me? Don’t go by!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That’s right, come in here now and shut the door.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sit down there in that chair</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And listen.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Don’t sit there with that silly smile all over you.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’m going to make you listen.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">You know when I first came they wanted me to talk.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I could see them trying, with little tricks and questions.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Well, now I will,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll tell you if you’ll let me out.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Will you, Doctor? Will you?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Those bars there at the window make me sick,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the screaming all around.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You have to holler too, to keep from hearing!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The nurse said I’d be in the padded room</div> + <div class="verse indent0">If I kept on—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Say, Doctor, will you let me out</div> + <div class="verse indent0">After I’ve told you everything there is?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Will you? Will you? Will you?</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh very well,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You can open the door then now.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">I don’t want you any more; I’ll never tell—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Say, Doctor, don’t go yet awhile;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Turn round, don’t go, I want to talk to you.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There, please sit down again, I’ll promise not to holler.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll tell you all about it and then you’ll see—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You’ll let me go, I know you will.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I tell you I’ve got to go and find ’em,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Find ’em all—Father and Grandfather,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">All that made me go back home,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That made me do it—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But you don’t know,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll have to find some place to start at.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The first night that he tried to get at me, and he like that,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I cried,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Soon as he saw me crying he went off</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And got a quilt</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And made a bed out in the sitting-room.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He got up early so I didn’t see him.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I thought all day,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And I kissed him when he came at supper time.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">That night he seemed just like he was at first,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I mean when we were married first,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I thought he wouldn’t do it ever again—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Say, Doctor, don’t you tell,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But somebody came when I was out</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And fixed his food up so’s he’d want the stuff,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I know who it was, but I won’t tell,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Not till I’m out of here.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">She did it out of spite, I know, I know—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Doctor, who is that hollerin’? Make her stop—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I guess you’d think it “mattered” some</div> + <div class="verse indent0">If you heard it all the time—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Well, finally I couldn’t keep him in the sitting-room,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I had to let him in, he hammered so,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then—Oh, Doctor, stop her please!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I don’t see what she’s hollerin’ for,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Nobody got in her bed reeling drunk—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I couldn’t help him coming—I couldn’t, an’ I tried!</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Next day I went around and did the dishes up,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And cooked the dinner ready, and all the time I thought</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“Supposing it’s happened—what’ll the child be then?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What’ll I have to bring into the world?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Supposing it’s happened—”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Perhaps it was nearly supper time,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I don’t know clearly,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But I couldn’t stay, I couldn’t!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I left a letter for him and went home.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I walked around the corner of the house and there they were</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Sitting at supper, Father and Grandfather</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And Ma and little Ben.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I stood and looked at them.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It seemed such a little while since I was sitting there</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Not thinkin’ anything,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Finally I went in and said</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“I’ve come home,—I’ve come away from Jim, I mean.</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">Don’t everybody look at me like that—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I tell you I’ve come home.”</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Then Ma got up and took me in her room</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And fixed the bed for me—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She said we’d talk it over in the morning.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I stayed pretty near two months at home,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And all the while Father and Grandfather</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And even little Ben</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Were at me to go back,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Father kept saying all he wanted was my happiness.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then they got the clergyman</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And he talked just the same.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then Jim came.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They all were nice to him and Jim was dreadfully sorry.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He hadn’t had a drop, he said, and if I’d come</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He’d never touch a single thing again—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh, Doctor, make her stop!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Go make her stop, I say, what’s she got to holler for?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Don’t forget you promised if I’d tell</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You’d let me out—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Do you want to hear the rest?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’m telling you straight enough, more’n I told the family—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I never told them anything,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I mean what I thought might happen,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And nobody ever had the sense to guess</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What I was afraid of,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Nobody but Ma,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And after the first she didn’t do anything but cry</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And say Father knew best.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The second time Jim came, I said I’d go,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I was so tired of everybody talkin’ at me—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh I don’t want to tell you any more—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’m crazy with her hollerin’.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You know the rest—I squeezed his eyes out—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">’Cause he was lookin’ at me</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When I let him in—after his hammerin’—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Then they brought me here—</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Doctor, I’ve told you everything.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Doctor, let me out!</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="HER_SECRET"><i>HER SECRET</i></h3> +</div> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">My secret and I stand here in front of the glass.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We are bedecking ourselves for an evening of gayety.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We look down and make our lips smile—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">We look up and make ourselves laugh,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then we turn and look into the glass again</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To see if others will believe that our eyes are smiling too.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">How long will it last, the evening?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It will be three hours at least, maybe four.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There will be music and bright dresses and clinking and chattering</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And everybody will laugh; there will be a great deal of laughter.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Everybody will go about with smiling lips,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But if you stop and look</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You will see that everybody’s eyes are hungry.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">None of them shall know my secret</div> + <div class="verse indent0">No one knows that—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Not any one in all the world.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was one other knew</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But he is dead.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I heard that he was dead just now—</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">A little while ago—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Just a few minutes ago by the clock.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I was putting on my beautiful dress</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When I heard a list read out from the paper, many names,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A long, long list.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I went on fastening my embroidered slippers</div> + <div class="verse indent0">While they read and read—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It came while I was buttoning my gloves, my long gloves;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There are a number of buttons.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">No one shall guess my secret.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There is a woman somewhere,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I do not know where she is;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But all her friends are hastening,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Coming from all about</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To surround her with their melancholy faces.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Soon they will get for her a black dress and a long black veil.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They will lead her faltering to a church,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her two wondering children held to her side, one by each hand.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She will be very important.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They will say beautiful things about him—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Beautiful sad things—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And all the time, hid by her long black veil,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her eyes will be smiling—smiling.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">And what have I of him?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">What shall I take with me to the party?</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Only the memory of that last dawn</div> + <div class="verse indent0">When I gave him all and bade him go.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</span></p> +<h3 class="nobreak" id="A_LITTLE_GIRL"><i>A LITTLE GIRL</i></h3> +</div> + + +<h4>I</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">I see a little girl sitting bent over</div> + <div class="verse indent0">On a white stone door-step.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In the street are other children running about;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The shadows of the waving trees flicker on their white dresses.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Some one opens the door of the house</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And speaks to the child on the steps.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She looks up and asks an eager question.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The figure shakes her head and shuts the door.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The child covers up her face</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To hide her tears.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</span></p> + +<h4>II</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Three children are playing in a garden—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Two boys and an awe-struck little girl;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They have plastered the summer-house with clay,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Making it an unlovely object.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">A grown-up person comes along the path.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl runs to her and stops,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Asking the same question—“Where is my Mother?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The grown-up person does not make any answer.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She looks at the summer-house and passes along the path.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl goes slowly into the house</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And climbs the stairs.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</span></p> + +<h4>III</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl is alone in the garden.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A white-haired lady of whom she is afraid</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Comes to find her and tell her a joyful thing.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl runs to the nursery.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The young nurse is doing her hair in front of the glass.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl sees how white her neck is</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And her uplifted arms.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Tomorrow they will be gone—they will not be here—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They are going to find—Her.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The young nurse turns and smiles</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And takes the little girl in her arms.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</span></p> + +<h4>IV</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl is travelling on a railway train,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Everything rushes by very fast,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Houses, and children in front of them,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Children who are just staying at home.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The train cannot go fast enough,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl is saying over and over again,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">“My Mother—My onliest Mother—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I am coming to you, coming very fast.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</span></p> + +<h4>V</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl looks up at a great red building</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With a great doorway.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It opens and the little girl is led in,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Looking all about her.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A Lady in a white dress and white cap comes.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">After a long time</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A man in a black coat comes in.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He says “She is not well enough, I am afraid.”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl is led away.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She always remembers the words</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The man in the black coat said.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</span></p> + +<h4>VI</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl is waiting in the big hallway,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In the house of the white-haired lady.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">At the end of the path she can see the summer-house</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With its queer grey cover.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The hall clock ticks very slowly.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The hands must go all around again</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Before the mother will come.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Now it is night.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl is lying in her bed.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is a piano going somewhere downstairs.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She is telling herself a story and waiting.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Soon She will come in at the door.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There will be a swift shaft of light</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Across the floor.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And She will come in with a rustling sound.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She will lie down on the bed</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And the little girl will stroke her dress and crinkle it</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To make the sound again.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Pretty soon the mother will step slowly and softly to the door,</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</span> + <div class="verse indent0">And quietly turn the handle.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl will speak and stop her,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Asking something she has asked many times before,—“My Father?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But the mother has never anything to answer.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</span></p> + +<h4>VII</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The mother and the little girl are sitting together sewing.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Outside there is snow.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A woman with a big white apron</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Comes to the door of the room and speaks.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The mother drops her work on the floor</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And runs down the stairs.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl stands at the head of the stairs</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And cries out “My Father!” but no one hears.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They pass along the hall—</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl creeps down the stairs,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But the door is closed.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</span></p> + +<h4>VIII</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl is held and rocked,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Held so tightly it hurts her.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She moves herself free.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Then quickly she puts her face up close,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And there is a taste of salt on her tongue.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</span></p> + +<h4>IX</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">In a bed in an upper chamber,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A bed with high curtains,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A woman sits bowed over.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her hair streams over her shoulders,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Her arms are about two children.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The older one is trying to say comforting things,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl wants to slip away,—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There are so many people at the foot of the bed—</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Out of the window, across the yellow river</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There are houses climbing up the hillside.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl wonders if anything like this</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Is happening in any of those houses.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</span></p> + +<h4>X</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Many children and grown-up people</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Are standing behind their chairs around a bright table</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Waiting for the youngest child to say grace.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">It is very troublesome for the youngest child</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To get the big words out properly.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl interrupts and says the grace quickly.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The white-haired lady of whom the little girl is afraid</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Is angry.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl breaks away and runs</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To the room of the bed with the high curtains.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">She rushes in—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The room is empty.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She comes back to the table,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But she does not dare to ask the question.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She remembers the great red building</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With the great doorway.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</span></p> + +<h4>XI</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl is trying to read a fairy story.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is nobody in the garden.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is nobody in the house but the white-haired lady.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">Someone comes to tell her her father is there—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She does not want to see him,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She is afraid.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</span></p> + +<h4>XII</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The front door is open.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is rain, leaves are whirling about.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A carriage with two horses</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And a coachman high up, holding a long whip,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Stands waiting in front of the door.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl is holding onto the banisters.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They take away her hands from the banisters</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And lead her to the carriage in front of the door.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Someone gets in behind her,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The carriage door is shut,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl draws herself to the far corner.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They drive away.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl looks back out of the window.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</span></p> + +<h4>XIII</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl is in a strange house</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where there are young men called uncles</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who talk to her and laugh.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A large lady sits by the table and knits and smiles,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">In her basket are different coloured balls of wool,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Pretty colours, but not enough to make a pattern.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">There is a curly soft little black dog</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That hides under the table.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The uncles pull him out,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And he tries to hold onto the carpet with his claws.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl laughs—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But at the sound she turns away</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And goes up to her room and shuts the door.</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Pretty soon the large lady comes to her</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And takes her on her lap and rocks and sings.</div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0"> + +<hr class="tb"></div> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + </div> +</div> +</div> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</span></p> + +<h4>XIV</h4> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The little girl has grown taller,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She is fair and sweet and ready for love,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But over her is a great fear</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As she remembers her mother’s weeping.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p class="center p2">THE END +</p> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT 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