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The Play’s the Thing | Project Gutenberg
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<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75451 ***</div>
<div class="chapter">
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<img class="w100" src="images/decor_1.jpg" alt="" data-role="presentation">
</figure>
</div>
<p class="ph2">
<i>FERENC MOLNAR</i></p>
<h1>THE PLAY’S<br>
THE THING</h1>
<br>
<figure class="figcenter illowp100" id="decor_2" style="width: 6.25em;">
<img class="w100" src="images/decor_2.jpg" alt="" data-role="presentation">
</figure><br>
<br>
<p class="ph4"><i>Adapted from the Hungarian</i></p>
<p class="ph3"><i>By</i> P. G. WODEHOUSE</p>
<br>
<figure class="figcenter illowp100" id="decor_3" style="width: 12.5em;">
<img class="w100" src="images/decor_3.jpg" alt="logo">
</figure><br>
<br>
<p class="ph2">BRENTANO’S</p>
<p class="ph3"><i>Publishers</i> <i>New York</i><br>
</p>
<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
<div class="chapter">
<p class="ph3">COPYRIGHT, 1927, BY CHARLES FROHMAN, INC.</p>
</div>
<p>All rights, including stage, motion picture, and
amateur production, are reserved. No performance
or public reading may be given without
the written consent of the author, or his
recognized agents. Application should be made
to the author, in care of Charles Frohman, Inc.</p>
<p class="ph3">Manufactured in the United States of America</p>
<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
<div class="chapter">
<p><i>On Thursday, October twenty-first, 1926, at Irving
M. Lesser’s Great Neck Playhouse, Great Neck,
Long Island, the Charles Frohman Company, Gilbert
Miller, Managing Director, presented Holbrook
Blinn in THE PLAY’S THE THING by Ferenc
Molnar, for the first time on any stage in any language.
The play was presented for the first time in
New York City under the same auspices at Henry
Miller’s Theatre on Wednesday, November the
third, 1926. It was produced by Holbrook Blinn
with the following cast</i>:—</p>
</div>
<table class="autotable">
<tr>
<td class="tdl">SANDOR TURAI</td>
<td></td>
<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Holbrook Blinn</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdl">MANSKY</td>
<td></td>
<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Hubert Druce</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdl">ALBERT ADAM</td>
<td></td>
<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Edward Crandall</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdl">ILONA SZABO</td>
<td></td>
<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Catherine Dale Owen</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdl">ALMADY</td>
<td></td>
<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Reginald Owen</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdl">JOHANN DWORNITSCHEK</td>
<td></td>
<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Ralph Nairn</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdl">MELL</td>
<td></td>
<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Claud Allister</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdl">LACKEYS</td>
<td class="tdl">{</td>
<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Stephen Kendal</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdl"></td>
<td class="tdl">{</td>
<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">John Gerard</span></td>
</tr>
</table>
<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
<div class="chapter">
<h2 class="nobreak" id="THE_PLAYS_THE_THING">THE PLAY’S THE THING</h2>
</div>
<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
<div class="chapter">
<h2 class="nobreak" id="THE_CHARACTERS">THE CHARACTERS</h2>
</div>
<p>
SANDOR TURAI, A Famous Dramatist<br>
MANSKY, His Collaborator<br>
ALBERT ADAM, A Young Composer<br>
ILONA SZABO, A Prima Donna<br>
ALMADY, A Leading Actor<br>
JOHANN DWORNITSCHEK, A Footman<br>
MELL, The Count’s Secretary<br>
TWO LACKEYS.<br>
</p>
<p>The action takes place in a room in a castle on the Italian
Riviera, on a Saturday in summer.</p>
<p>
<span class="smcap">Act I—2:00 a. m.</span><br>
<span class="smcap">Act II—6:00 a. m.</span><br>
<span class="smcap">Act III—7:30 p. m.</span><br>
</p>
<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
<div class="chapter">
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</span></p>
<p class="ph2">THE PLAY’S THE THING</p>
</div>
<hr class="tiny">
<div class="chapter">
<h2 class="nobreak" id="ACT_ONE">ACT ONE</h2>
</div>
<div class="blockquot">
<p class="hanging-indent1"><i>As the curtain rises a distant orchestra is heard playing
Leoncavallo’s “Mattinata.” The stage is almost
dark. The only light comes through two large
French windows at the back. Through them we see
the moonlit Mediterranean far below, the vague
outlines of the precipitous coast, twinkling lights
along quays and esplanades, and here and there
the faint glow from some lighted window. A lighthouse
blinks intermittently in the far distance.
Within the dark room three darker shadows loom
against the moonlit windows; the lighted ends of
three cigarettes prick the blackness. There is a
long pause. It is almost embarrassingly long. Just
before one wonders if anything is ever going to
happen a man’s voice breaks the silence.</i></p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">THE MAN’S VOICE.</span> When you stop talking, Sandor,
for sixty consecutive seconds, there’s something
wrong.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>One of the shadowy forms is seen to rise and
cross to the right wall. We hear the click of an
electric switch and instantly the stage is flooded<span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</span>
with the warm glow of several electric sconces
and candelabra lamps. The light reveals a room
beautifully furnished in Italian Renaissance. At
the back one shallow step leads up to a raised
portion which runs the whole width of the room.
Behind it are the French windows, now closed,
with a balcony beyond them. To the right a
short flight of steps leads to a landing and a
door to a bedroom suite. To the left one step
leads up to a door to the hall and the remainder
of the castle. Occupying the right wall of the
lower portion of the room is a great fireplace
with a corbelled chimney. A long table stands
near it. At the left is a grand piano. Below the
piano in the left wall is a door to another bedroom.
All these doors are closed. Above the piano
toward the center is a small stand with a telephone
on it. There are comfortable chairs here
and there. The ceiling is beamed and carved.
The whole room reflects wealth and beauty.</i></p>
<p><i>The speaker, who has just lighted the room,
is a large and portly man of middle age. His
name is</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>. <i>He is in a dinner jacket, as
are his two companions</i>, <span class="smcap">Sandor Turai</span> <i>seated
in the center, and</i> <span class="smcap">Albert Adam</span> <i>near the piano</i>.
<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>is also middle aged, but younger-looking
and less portly than</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>. <i>A glance shows
him to be a man of consequence and dynamic
personality. He is wearing a monocle.</i> <span class="smcap">Albert<span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</span>
Adam</span> <i>is a dreamy, handsome boy just over the
threshold of manhood. The distant orchestra has
stopped playing.</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>reseats himself to the
right of</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>and speaks again</i>.]</p>
<p>What’s on your mind, Sandor?</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I was just thinking how extraordinarily difficult
it is to begin a play. The eternal problem of
how to introduce your principal characters.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I suppose it must be hard.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It is—devilish hard. Up goes the curtain,
there is a hush all over the theatre, people come
on the stage. Then what? It’s an eternity—sometimes
as much as a quarter of an hour before the
audience finds out who’s who and what they are all
up to.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I never saw such a fellow. Can’t you forget
the theatre for a single minute?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No. That’s why I’m such a great dramatist.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> You can’t be happy for half an hour unless
you’re talking shop. Life isn’t all theatre.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, it is—if you write plays. You know what
Alphonse Daudet says in his Memoirs? When he
stood by his father’s death-bed, all he could think
of was what a wonderful scene it would make for
the stage.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> It’s silly to let your job become an obsession.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, that’s the theatre. Either you master
it or it masters you. And of all the brain-racking
things in the world, beginning a play is the worst.
That’s where your technique comes in, my boy.
Take this scene here, for instance. We three—Curtain
goes up on three ordinary men in ordinary
dinner jackets. How is anybody to know even
that this room we’re sitting in is a room in a castle?
And how are they to know who we are? If this
were a play we would have to start jabbering
about a lot of thoroughly uninteresting things until
the audience gradually found out who we were.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well? Why not?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Think how much simpler it would be if we
were to cut out all that stuff and just introduce
ourselves? [<i>He rises and addresses the audience.</i>]
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. We three
arrived to-night to spend a couple of weeks at this
castle. We’ve just left the dining-room where we
did ourselves remarkably well with some excellent
champagne. My name is Sandor Turai. I am a
playwright. I have been a playwright for thirty
years. I make a very good thing of it. I bow and
step back leaving the stage to you.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>steps back and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>steps forward
and addresses the audience</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mansky—I,
too, am a playwright, and this gentleman’s
life-long collaborator. We are probably the best-known
firm in the business.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come to Mansky and Turai for all comedies,
farces and operettas. Satisfaction guaranteed.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I, too, make a very good thing out of it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Which brings us—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> —to the remaining member of the trio.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>They indicate</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>who rises and addresses
the audience in similar fashion but with more
diffidence and none of their assurance</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> The last <i>and</i> least. I, ladies and gentlemen, am
Albert Adam. I am twenty-five years old and I
compose music.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Very good music, too.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I have done the score for the latest operetta
by these two kind gentlemen. My first effort. They
discovered me. They got me invited to this castle.
Regardless of expense, they bought me a complete
wardrobe. Without them I am a complete nonentity.
I have no parents, no reputation, and no
money.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> But—you’re young.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> And gifted.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> And in love with the prima donna.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t bother to tell them that. An audience
takes it for granted that the young composer is
in love with the prima donna. It’s tradition.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Thank heaven.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Again addressing the audience.</i>] Isn’t that
the simplest way to begin a play?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Very crude. If that were all there was to
it, any fool could write plays.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> A great many do. But you see how absurdly
easy it is—All you have to do is—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> All right, all right, all right. For heaven’s
sake, stop talking shop. I’ve had enough. Save it
for to-morrow.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Perhaps you’re right. Yes, it’s a treat to get
a couple of hours off for a change. Wonderful,
that trip in the car—Italy!... And here we
are, free at last from the stuffy world of behind
the scenes, out of the reach of thin-skinned actors
and thick-skinned managers. All the year I’ve
looked forward to these two weeks. A princely host
and a house full of smart people—just what men
like ourselves need to inspire us. And, mark this,
my friends, nothing to worry about—for our job
is done. [<i>He goes to the window, opens it, steps on<span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</span>
to the balcony and speaks from there.</i>] The operetta
is finished and off our minds. And, moreover,
it is summer. The weather is perfect, the night
is gorgeous, the sea—is the sea, and the dinner
was good. [<i>He comes back into the room.</i>] Yes,
we must remember it. It’s been a great day. August
the 20th.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Friday.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What of it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I wish it wasn’t.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t be such an old woman!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> No one ought to arrive anywhere on a
Friday.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Dreamily.</i>] What difference does it make—Friday,
Saturday, Sunday—Spring, Summer,
Autumn, Winter—life’s always wonderful.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Crosses to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] <i>My</i> unlucky day is Tuesday.
Among other things—[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] you
were born on a Tuesday.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well, look at it for yourself. Here’s to-day’s
little bag of bad luck. San Martino—mid-day—violent
thunderstorm followed by blow-out. Set us
back an hour. Fiero—early afternoon—ran over
dog, surrounded by angry multitude, had to scatter
money to every one in sight to keep from getting<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span>
mobbed. More delay, and we reach here at
ten instead of eight. Friday. And when we arrive,
who is out? Our princely host. Who else? Everybody.
All gone off on a picnic. Friday. And the
beautiful, the one and only, the most vitally important
member of the whole house party—our
adorable prima donna—where is she? Also off on
a picnic. Is she expected home to-night? No. When
is she expected? No one knows. Friday.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, she’ll be back.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well, that won’t spoil Friday’s record, because
it’s Saturday now.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> And I’ve got to wait a whole night before I
see her. It’s cruel.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Just Friday.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, now listen to <i>me</i>. I’ll give you <i>my</i>
version of the day’s proceedings. Friday, San
Martino—mid-day—capital luncheon including
some really drinkable coffee. During the meal, a
few passing drops of rain. Result: perfect roads—no
dust. Fiero—early afternoon— Injured a
dog and for a while it looked as though the populace
were about to injure <i>us</i>. But our Friday good
luck held. The dog made a miraculous recovery
and when last seen was sitting up and taking
nourishment. And a few insignificant coins, judiciously<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span>
distributed, made the populace our friends
for life. To resume. We arrived here some hours
late, but—what a bit of luck <i>that</i> was. Everybody
away, nobody in the house to expect tired men to
make conversation. Furthermore we dine on a
picturesque terrace of a wonderful old Italian
castle and are given as fine a curried chicken as I
ever tasted.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I loathe curry.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> And in conclusion, let me tell you the crowning
piece of good fortune of this magical Friday.
[<i>He indicates the door to the bedroom at left.</i>]
The next room to this is Ilona’s.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> What!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, through that door is the room of the
beautiful, the one and only. And having a pull
with the butler, I managed to get this suite for
ourselves. There’s luck for you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> For him.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> And for us. We profit indirectly. When a
composer is happy he writes song-hits. When a
prima donna is happy, she stops singing off the
key. And the librettists gather royalties from the
resulting triumph.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Sordid brute. You’ve no poetry in your soul.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> But I have a balance in my bank—much more
satisfactory. As for Ilona being away, that’s good
luck too. Think of the pleasant surprise she will
get. It is night. The little darling comes home
from her picnic. All unsuspecting, she goes to her
little room, sinks upon her little bed—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Why on earth must everything always be so
little?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why not?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Damned sentimentalism. I know the house
well. She has a <i>huge</i> room and an <i>enormous</i> bed.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Immaterial. Quite immaterial. The point is
that she comes home, all unsuspecting. She doesn’t
know we’re here. [<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>who has been sitting dreamily
at the piano begins playing softly</i>.] She doesn’t
know we’ve brought the finished operetta with us.
She doesn’t know I’m going to sing her the waltz
song from Act Two—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> God help her!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> ... the world-famous waltz—[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span>
<i>looks at him skeptically</i>] at least, it’s not world-famous
yet, but it’s bound to become so ... anyway,
the ravishing theme-waltz upon which this infant
genius has poured out all the treasure of his
love-bewitched soul....</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>stops playing</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Be quiet—never praise a composer. It unsettles
him. [<i>Rises. Looks at watch.</i>] Do you know
it’s after three—I have been thinking and I’ve got
an idea.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Beginner’s luck.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Let’s go to bed. You can do any singing
you want to-morrow. If they’re not home yet, it
means they’re staying out all night. I know the
ways of this house. We’ve been up since five and
I’m all in. Three hundred miles are chasing themselves
through my head. As for your infant genius
with the love-bewitched soul, he’s asleep already.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Who has been nodding over the piano, awakens
with a start.</i>] I’m not.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’ve no objection to postponing the surprise-party.
Suppose we <i>wake</i> her with the waltz.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> If only she doesn’t find out before.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s all right. I particularly told my friend
the butler that nobody must know of our arrival
till to-morrow morning. The butler is a very important
man. He practically runs this house.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Rising.</i>] Then I’m going to take a bath.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I don’t follow your logic. What has the importance
of the butler to do with taking baths?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I hate logic. [<i>Starts toward the door at right,
but stops to gaze out of the window.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Do you really intend to bathe at this hour?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> In the sea?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Stands by balcony door.</i>] No. In the tub.
[<i>The sound of a distant orchestra is heard playing
Toselli’s Serenade.</i>] When you’re tired and
sleepy and looking forward to something particularly
nice, it’s wonderful to lie in luke-warm water
with your eyes closed.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Hear! Hear! [<i>Sits in large armchair.</i>]
Well—Do as you please, infant. When an artist
is working he must pamper himself. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.]
You have to humor these composers. Did
you ever know his grandmother?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I had not that pleasure.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>comes down the steps and sits down
again</i>.] She brought him up when his parents died.
She was about <i>so</i> high. The littlest old woman I
ever saw in my life.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Tiny, wasn’t she?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> And the very opposite of this dreamy boy.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span>
Always hustling, always on the go. It’s her fault
that our young friend here has always remained
such an unsophisticated babe. She not only mothered
him—she smothered him with her love. She
was like a little witch in a fairy-tale guarding
hidden treasure. I’ll never forget the day she
brought him to me, for the first time.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> My goodness, I was scared that day.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> So was I. This little half-portion of a woman
fixed me with blazing eyes and fairly hissed:
“This boy is a <i>genius</i>. You <i>must</i> hear his <i>work</i>.”
[<i>Pensively.</i>] His mother was a gentle, beautiful
woman.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I hardly remember her.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I can see her—very clearly—<i>still</i>.... [<i>He
rises and goes to <span class="smcap">Adam</span> whom he pats affectionately
on the shoulder</i>.] Ah, well, you’re going to escape
the struggles most young artists have before they
reach the top. No wasting of time and brain and
nerve-energy for you. You’ve got a very clever
man behind you, pushing you on.</p>
<p>[<i>Music stops.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Significantly.</i>] <i>Two</i> clever men.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Two? [<i>Laughs.</i>] Ah, yes, of course, two. [<i>To</i>
<span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] So run away and have your bath and sleep
and dream and love and enjoy this beautiful world<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span>
and all that there is in it. Happiness will make
your music all the sweeter.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> You ought to be ashamed of yourself, encouraging
him to be a dreamer. He should be
learning by this time that life isn’t all music and
roses and happiness.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why be in such a hurry to teach him that?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I’m not in a hurry.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then why must he be in a hurry to learn it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Who has run up the steps at right, pauses at
the door.</i>] This is my room, eh?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Whose else could it be? Have you forgotten
who is sleeping or about to be sleeping on the
other side of that wall? [<i>He indicates the left
wall.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I should say I haven’t.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It’s rather a good situation. Lovers—and
separated by a wall. Like Pyramus and Thisbe.
What is that speech of Pyramus’s? [<i>Speaking to
the left wall.</i>]</p>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse indent0">“And thou, oh wall, oh sweet, oh lovely wall!</div>
<div class="verse indent2">Oh wicked wall, through whom I see no bliss!”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Impatiently.</i>] Shop again! Always shop!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> And what about you two?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We’re all right. Our room is on the other side
of yours.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Are you sharing a room?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We have to. Real collaborators never separate
for a moment, or the most priceless ideas might be
lost forever. Besides, I talk in my sleep. I’m told
that’s when I say some of my best things. Mansky
is a light sleeper, and he wakes up and jots them
down. [<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>rises indignantly</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I think I’m going to like this place. Well,
gentlemen, before I go, one last word. I am very
fond of both of you. I am finding life very beautiful.
And I am very happy. [<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>goes out. Once
again the distant orchestra is heard. This time
playing the Brise Argentine.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Which startling utterance seems to call for
a glass of very old brandy. [<i>He crosses to the bell
rope on left wall and pulls it.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Make it two.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It’s nice to see the boy so happy. Now I’m
on the shady side of fifty, I find myself full of
parental affection and nobody to lavish it on.
[<i>Reflectively.</i>] Yes ... his mother was a gentle,
beautiful woman. [<i>He goes up to window, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span>
looks down the cliff.</i>] They’re still dancing down
there on the hotel terrace. With spot-lights on the
dancers. With that dark blue sky in the background
and the coloured lights on the water, that
wouldn’t make a bad setting for a first act finale.
[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>who has just taken a cigarette from
his case, snaps it shut with irritation</i>.] Yes, I’m
coming to think the boy’s right and life is beautiful.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Sandor.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I didn’t like to tell you before, though it
really belongs to Friday, too.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Tell me what?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Sits on bench with the unconscious relish
of the confirmed pessimist.</i>] Something rather unpleasant.
A little piece of news. Rather unpleasant.
[<i>The music has stopped.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>who
has been at the window, turns toward</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’re a queer chap. Just when a man’s feeling
happy for five minutes you have to come along
and take the joy out of life.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> It concerns you, too. It’s rather unpleasant.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Going to</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>—<i>speaks ironically</i>.]<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span>
Well, come on, old friend. Ruin my evening. What
is it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I was looking in the visitors’ book downstairs,
and I saw a certain name. [<i>Puffs cigarette.</i>]
Yes, it’s rather unpleasant.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t sit there, making my flesh creep. What
name did you see in the visitors’ book?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Almady.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The actor?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> He’s here?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> He is.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> H’m. This <i>is</i>, as you say, rather unpleasant.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> You realize what this means?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It means that you’re thoroughly happy.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Not at all. I may be a pessimist, but unfortunately
I’m a tender-hearted pessimist. When
I am proved right, I do not enjoy the fact. The
fact is that Mr. Almady is here.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> But how? Why? He hasn’t been invited here
for ten years. I always understood he spent his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span>
summers with his wife and children at Lake
Balaton.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I suppose he fished for an invitation. He
probably had his reasons.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Does our young friend know anything about
that business?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> He hasn’t an inkling of the part Mr.
Almady has played in his fiancée’s life.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, hang it all, it wasn’t so much of a part.
What does it amount to? When she was starting
on the stage he gave her lessons in voice production.
And then—well, it was just the usual business—the
romantic leading actor and the little
pupil. The sort of thing that lasts a couple of
months at the outside. And, besides, it was all over
and done with long ago.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Apparently it is <i>not</i> over and done with.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Rot! Because by <i>pure</i> chance he happens to
be in the same house?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> It isn’t pure chance. It’s impure intention.
Use your intelligence, man. Ilona was Almady’s
discovery—he taught her all she knows.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s a thing of the past. Ilona’s intelligent.
She’s in love and she’s engaged to be married.
And you know how whole-heartedly, how passionately,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span>
an actress can be engaged when she <i>is</i>
engaged to be married. I’m bound to say I’m not
remarkably enthusiastic about this match, but if
it makes the boy happy that’s the main thing. My
dear chap, you’re crazy. She wouldn’t be such
a fool ... with a worn-out elderly actor—a
father of a family—with four children. She’s got
too much sense.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I never said a word about that. I merely
said I had seen his name in the visitors’ book.
That means he is staying here. Is that pleasant?
No. It is unpleasant. That was all I said. I now
say something more. We <i>ought</i> to have <i>wired</i>
Ilona that we were coming to-night.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I admit it. You’re right again. So be happy.
Never surprise a woman. Always wire her in
plenty of time. On several occasions in a longish
life I have prepared a joyful surprise for a
woman, and every time I was the one surprised.
The telegraph was invented for no other purpose
than that women should not get surprises. [<i>There
is a knock at the door left.</i>] Come in. [<i>A footman
enters from the hall. He is an elderly man in
blue livery.</i>] What do you want?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">FOOTMAN.</span> What do <i>you</i> want, sir? You rang, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, yes. Cognac.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">FOOTMAN.</span> Any particular brand, sir?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] Do me a favor, old man, and
go up and keep Albert talking for a few minutes.
I want to have a few words with this fellow.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Don’t drink both the brandies. [<span class="smcap">Mansky</span>
<i>goes out through door at right</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What’s your name?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">FOOTMAN.</span> Mine, sir?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, yours.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">FOOTMAN.</span> Johann Dwornitschek, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Johann?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">FOOTMAN.</span> Dwornitschek.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Ah—Age?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Fifty-two, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Born?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I should have said, where were you born?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Podmokly. In Tcheko-Slovakia, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Nice place?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> No, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Ah—married?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir, thank you, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Wife living?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Well, in a sense.... She ran away
with a soldier two years ago, sir—thank you, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t thank me—thank the soldier. You’re
new here, I think?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> When did you come?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Last summer, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Thank you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no. Thank <i>you</i>. You’ve answered my
questions most patiently.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Excuse me, sir, would it be taking a
liberty if I enquired why?...</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why I have asked those questions? Not at all.
You’ll find that out later on. But don’t alarm
yourself. I’m not a detective. Now—Johann
Dwornitschek. Here are more questions. That
room next door there is Miss Ilona Szabo’s? [<i>He
indicates the door at left to bedroom.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Has she been gone long?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I have not seen her come in, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Did you see her go out?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. They left at six o’clock this
afternoon.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> They? Who?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> The entire house-party, sir, including
the master. They were going to San Pietro,
I think, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Is that far?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> The yacht would take them there in
about an hour and a half. Twenty-six persons
in all, sir. Supper served on board. A nice cold
collation, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> When do you expect them back?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Well, sir—they took a considerable
quantity of liquor with them.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The question I asked was “When do you expect
them back?”</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> That is the question I’m answering,
sir. Hardly before to-morrow morning at the earliest.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I see. Who’s in the party?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> The core or center of it, if I may
use the expression, sir....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Certainly you may use the expression. It’s a
beautiful expression.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank you, sir. The core or center
of it is an American family, distant relatives of
the master. Every time a holiday comes around,
they insist on a picnic.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What holiday is to-day?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I don’t know, sir. They have two
every week here. They always go off at night in
the big yacht. They’re quite wild about the young
lady. She sings for them on the yacht. With the
gypsy band.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, they have gypsies, too?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. Four pieces. From the Hotel.
But they’re not much good. No—A gypsy’s
not at his best, sir, on the water. Gypsies need
<i>solid</i> ground.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Solid ground—yes, of course. Well, passing
over the subject of gypsies for a moment, if you
don’t mind—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Oh, no, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, then lightly passing over the subject of
gypsies, do you know a Mr. Almady?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Oh yes, indeed, sir. I know Mr. Almady.
I know Mr. Almady very well. He has been
here three days.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Here in the castle?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. In the old wing facing the
park.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That would be on this floor?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir, on this floor.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> And—he’s one of the yachting party, you
say?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir, along with the young lady.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What do you mean, <i>along</i> with the young
lady?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Well, sir, he escorted her to the
boat. They’re—you might say—sort of partners.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> How partners?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I mean, sir—well, working together—like—like—as
it were, partners.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I see. You mean partners.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. Partners. Mr. Almady
gives recitations on the boat.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> How do you know that?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> They took me with them, sir, last
Tuesday.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Tuesday? It would be Tuesday.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir—Tuesday.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> All right—Thank you....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir. Will that be all,
sir?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, that will be all.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Excuse me, sir, but you said that I
would find out later on....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why I began by asking you all those personal
questions.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Exactly, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Quite simple. It’s a little matter of psychology.
When you want a man to speak the truth,
begin by making him tell you all about himself.
It gives him a feeling of responsibility and
makes him afraid to lie, later on. That’s from a
detective-play by Mansky and Turai. You can
take the tip as some slight return for your
trouble.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank you very much, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t mention it.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> And which shall I bring you, sir?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Which? What which?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Which brand of cognac?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Which brands have you?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> All the best brands, sir. Hennessey,
Three Star Martel, Biscuit, Dubouche, Rivière—Gardrat....
[<i>A door is heard to slam somewhere
at left.</i>] Excuse me, sir. I rather think ... if you
would be good enough to remain quite quiet for
just one moment ... I rather fancy that’s the
young lady coming back now. [<i>They listen. From
the adjoining room at the left a soprano voice is
heard singing casually but clearly a well-known
aria from an operetta.</i>] Yes, sir. That’s the young
lady all right.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Going up toward the door at right.</i>] It is.
It’s she. Splendid. Then never mind the cognac.
<i>Champagne</i> is clearly indicated. My favorite
brand—Mumm’s Cordon Rouge. See that it’s iced
and hurry it along. Look sharp, man!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> You wish it here—sir?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Going out at right.</i>] Of course. Of course.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Very good, sir. [<i>Exit</i> <span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span>.
<i>He goes out through the door at left to
the hall. The singing grows louder.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI’S VOICE.</span> [<i>In the room at right.</i>] Hey! Stop
that bath. You haven’t time for baths now. She’s
back! Sh! Hurry up. Quick, both of you. [<i>The
voices of</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>are also heard</i>.] I
tell you she <i>is</i>. She’s in her room. Do be quick.
I’ve ordered champagne. Here, I’ll help you dress.
[<i>The door at the right is closed from the outside.
From inside the adjoining room on the left the
singing continues until interrupted by</i> <span class="smcap">Almady’s
Voice</span> <i>raised in protest</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> What do you mean by this singing?
I believe you’re doing it just to annoy me. [<i>She
trills a few notes.</i>] You’re trying to torture me.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Well—it’s pretty cool to come walking
into my bedroom at this hour.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I came with you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Now, listen. Everything’s over and
ended. I’ve put you out of my life forever. I’m
engaged to be married and I intend to be a good
little wife. You’ve no right to behave like this.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> No right? I, who made you? I, with
whom you have lived so many hours of madness—wonderful,
unforgettable—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Not unforgettable at all. Watch how
quickly <i>I’m</i> going to forget them. Do go away,
and leave me alone. Don’t touch me. [<i>A pause.</i>]<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span>
Stop. I won’t let you kiss me. Can’t you understand
my fiancé will be arriving any day now?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I’ll kill him.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> You’ll do nothing of the kind. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span>
<i>sobs loudly</i>.] Oh, stop <i>crying</i>! The idea—a
grown-up man, the father of a family, with four
children.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> But I love you so, Ilona. And you
throw me over for another man. Don’t you love
me—still—just a little?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> You’re nothing but a great big baby.
Cheer up, do. That’s better. All right, then, you
<i>may</i> kiss me. [<i>A pause while they kiss.</i>] What are
you doing? Don’t take off your coat.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I must. I want to say goodbye.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Well, you don’t need to say it in your
shirt-sleeves. [<i>Pause.</i>] <i>Now</i> run away and let me
get some sleep. I’m worn out.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I’m only waiting till you’re in bed.
Is there anything to drink here?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> You’ll find it in the ante-room. Take
the whole bottle if you want to—but <i>go</i>. [<i>Pause.
Shouting.</i>] Look on the sideboard. And stay
where you are till I’ve got my nightie on. Don’t<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span>
come <i>in</i> and don’t <i>look</i>. [<i>There is a silence during
which the door right is opened and</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <span class="smcap">Adam</span>,
<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>tiptoe in like three mischievous boys.
They speak in whispers as they cross to the door
to</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>bedroom</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Hush! She’s gone to bed.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Do you think she’s asleep already?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I doubt it. Come on. Faces to the wall as close
as you can get. [<i>They group themselves in a row
as near the wall as the furniture will permit.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Whispers.</i>] Ready? Now ... Ilona, Ilona,
Ilona ... take the time from me. [<i>Raises his
hand like a conductor; at the same moment</i> <span class="smcap">Almady’s</span>
<i>voice is heard</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I worship you—I adore you. [<i>The
three are riveted where they stand, transfixed
with amazement.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Are you starting all over again?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> Yes, I am. All over again. I love
you as the church steeple loves the cloud that settles
above it and floats away with the first passing
breeze. I can’t go on living without you. Not a
week, not a day, not an hour. [<i>The three men turn
simultaneously.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> [<i>contemptuously.</i>] Just words.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> It’s the truth. I’m crazy about you.
And you—you’ve used me up and squeezed me
like a lemon, and now you want to throw me away.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> I don’t want to throw you away, silly.
Where’s the sense in raving like this? Oh, come
on, then. Come here and let me kiss your beautiful
classic brow.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> She said—did you hear what she said?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> That’s not a kiss—that’s a tip—Nothing
but a paltry tip.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Sinks into chair.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Don’t shout like that.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I will shout. I’m a squeezed lemon.
That’s what I am—[<i>Sobs.</i>] A lemon! The whole
world shall know that I’m a lemon.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Get off your knees. And, oh, please,
do stop crying. I can’t bear it. You know how
fond I am of you. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>clap their
hands to their heads</i>. <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>collapses on the piano
stool</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> Those nights of love—those flaming
wonderful nights! Have you forgotten them so
completely?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Looking up.</i>] That’s Almady.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> You can’t be sure.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] Don’t be an ass. Don’t
try to deceive a musician about a voice! There’s
no use talking—the thing’s a tragedy and we’ve
got to face it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Friday!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Stop! Control yourself.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> You ask me to control myself—when
I look at <i>that</i>—at that perfect shape. The
rose flush of that skin.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Hands off!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> My God! How round it is! How
smooth, how velvety—and how fragrant. [<i>A
pause.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Don’t bite!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I must—I am <i>so hungry</i>....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>and patting him on the shoulder</i>.]
I think you had better go, old man. Go and turn
in in our room.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] And I thought she was a Madonna.
Holding her in his arms—stroking—[<i>rising
in sudden fury and rushing to the door</i>.] God,
I could kill him!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Restraining him.</i>] Steady, old man, steady.
[<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>covers his ears with his hands</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> Ah, well! I see I am nothing to you
any more.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Oh, for goodness sake. I swear that
no man has ever meant so much to me as you.
From the top of your head to the soles of your feet
you are a <i>man</i>! Who should know that better
than I?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come, come, my boy—let’s get out of this.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Goes to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Come on, old chap.
You’re going to sleep in our room. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and</i>
<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>lead him to stairway</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Sleep! [<i>He goes out at right.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and</i>
<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>are on the landing</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Oh! Don’t look so pathetic....
Well, come here—kiss me.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I was right— We ought to have sent a
telegram. [<i>He goes out at right.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>comes
down to table, lights a cigarette and sits on edge
of table</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I want you to remember that kiss
forever.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> It was your old kiss. Sweet and burning—like
hot punch. But do be a dear and go
away now. It was mad of you to come here. If my
fiancé ever hears of this I’ll kill myself. Oh, damn
my idiotic sentimentality for getting me into this
mess. You must leave here to-morrow on the first
train. He’ll be here any day now. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>shifts
uneasily</i>.] Every day I’ve been expecting a telegram.
[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>groans</i>.] Get out, I tell you, get
out!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> If you insist, dear heart, so be it!
Your word is law. I am going to bed now. Farewell,
dear heart. But grant me one last kiss.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To himself.</i>] Damn all fools who don’t know
when they’ve had enough.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Go <i>now</i>—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> So be it. Good-night, dear heart.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Good-night, you baby. [<i>Silence. A
door is heard closing.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To himself.</i>] <i>At last!</i> Good-night, dear
heart! [<i>After a moment he sits down in armchair.
Pause.</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>re-enters</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>With a gesture of inquiry toward</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span>
<i>room</i>.] This silence—what does it mean?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> This silence is a highly moral silence. The
baritone hero has departed. And the fair heroine
has deposited herself in bed.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> After depositing <i>us</i> in the worst mess in my
whole experience. Wasn’t it awful?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Awful!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Smooth, round, fragrant! And he wanted
to bi— oh, my God! [<i>He sits.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Ten minutes ago we were three happy men.
That poor boy! How is he?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I got him to bed. Poor little Pyramus. A
jolly wall, that, isn’t it? Church Steeple! Lemon!
The damned fool.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I can’t look him in the face. That little old
grandmother of his—she’d let me have it with
her broomstick if she were here.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> It’s certainly the most appalling mess. You
got it through your pull with the butler! Marvelous
luck! Pyramus and Thisbe! “Oh sweet
wall!” Well, I hope you’re satisfied!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, go to the devil.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I don’t want to be unkind, but whichever
way you look at it you’re to blame for this catastrophe.
Why the deuce was it necessary to put the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span>
boy next door to his lady-love? Friendship <i>is</i>
friendship, but there are limits.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I was merely trying to be sympathetic and
helpful. I meant well.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Never mean “well.” It’s fatal. See what’s
happened as a result. Bride gone—love gone—waltz
gone—operetta gone. All a total loss. On
the other hand, the dog didn’t die and the coffee
<i>was good</i>. Well, Friday has certainly made a nice
clean, efficient job of it <i>this</i> time!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’m only thinking about that boy.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> And I’m also thinking about our operetta.
The lady kissed the lemon’s classic brow. After
this, can you see her playing the part?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Do stop jabbering about that side of it. I’m
only interested in the boy. Did he say anything?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Plenty. I wish I hadn’t heard it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What <i>did</i> he say?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> One of his remarks was “I’ll tear up the
score and kill Ilona.” The round and fragrant
one. And the problem that presents itself to me is
this: if he tears up his music and kills the prima
donna, what sort of a <i>first night</i> shall we have?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Thinks a moment, then with emphasis.</i>]
We’ll have a first night. I promise you that.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> What, after all this?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, after all <i>this</i>. Don’t worry, we’ll have
a first night all right.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> With that music?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> With that music and that composer and that
prima donna. And I’ll tell you some other things.
We’ll have a hit, a wedding, and a happy ending.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well, of all the optimists! It’s just a suggestion,
but wouldn’t it be a good idea if you were
to mention just what you propose to <i>do</i>. This is
where Sandor Turai, famous for his happy endings,
had better try to surpass himself. [<i>Turns
toward stairs.</i>] Get busy, my play-writing genius,
and let’s see how good you are.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> One can but do one’s best. [<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>goes out
at right. A clock in the hall is heard to strike four.</i>
<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>takes a blank sheet of music from the
piano. He paces up and down in deep thought,
occasionally glancing toward</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>room. He
jots down a few words.</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>re-enters</i>.] Well,
how is he?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. That’s
bad. He didn’t even answer my question.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What did you ask him?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I said: [<i>Plaintively.</i>] “Feeling better
now?”</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What did you expect him to answer to a damn
fool question like that?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well, have <i>you</i> solved the problem?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> If I have I’m not going to tell you. You’ve
ruined enough good ideas of mine already with
your collaboration. This time I mean to work
alone. Without a partner. [<i>Goes to table. Sits on
bench.</i>] All I ask of you is a little information.
There are a few <i>facts</i> I require.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Huffily.</i>] That’s all I’m good for, is it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s all. Where are Almady’s wife and
family now?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> At Lake Balaton, I believe.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Lake Balaton. Address?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Verona Cottage.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Putting it down.</i>] Verona Cottage. What’s
Ilona’s mother’s name?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Adele,—Alma, something.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, it begins with an A?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Yes, I know that.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Thank God! Mrs. A. Szabo. What’s her address?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> 70 Elizabeth Avenue, Fured.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Would she be there now?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Petulantly.</i>] Oh God! How should I
know? But, listen—[<i>Points to</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>room</i>.]
My own humble suggestion would be to wake her
up now and have a little chat.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What about?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Starting across.</i>] I’ll rout her out. [<i>Goes
left.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Excitedly.</i>] For heaven’s sake, no! The only
thing a woman can do is deny everything. What
could she deny? Could she unsay those words of
hers? Gloss over that mad sensual outburst? Explain
her half-hearted resistance? Of course, she
might point out that it was nice of her to forbid
the man to bite. No, I can’t quite see where denials
come in.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Women have lots of other tricks. Falling
on their knees—fainting—bursting into tears—laughing
hysterically—or just going <i>rigid</i> all
over.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That might be good enough for you or me.
When you’re a middle-aged dramatist, you welcome<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span>
a chance to do the noble, forgiving business.
It’s good theatre. But that boy in there is twenty-five
and he isn’t a dramatist. So think again.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Collapsing hopelessly in armchair.</i>] Then
there’s no solution to the problem.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> There’s a solution to everything—one has
only to find it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> By Jove! Rather a good line, that.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Not bad. Jot it down. [<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>does so, on
his cuff</i>.] And now the most important thing is—be
very tactful and understanding with the boy.
Sit by his bed till he falls asleep.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> He won’t sleep to-night.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Give him something to make him ... he
must have sleep. To-morrow’s going to be a big
day. One false move and he will be the center of
a record scandal. It would break his heart. And on
his peace of mind depends....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Our success. Capacity business. A year’s
run.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Beastly words.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> And yet only yesterday—how beautiful
they sounded!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Go away. I’ll take on this job. [<i>Rises.</i>] Leave<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span>
everything to me, and base your confidence on
past experience. Which shows the moment <i>you</i>
stop trying to help me, I can solve anything.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Bows stiffly and turns toward stairs.</i>]
Thank you, my dear fellow.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Not at all.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Good-night.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good-night. See you to-morrow. Till then,
don’t leave him for an instant. That’s official. I’ve
enjoyed our little talk so much. Good-night.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Good-night. [<i>Goes out at right.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>
<i>goes to table, sits and jots down some more notes.
There is a knock at door left to hall.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come in. [<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>enters with cooler
and champagne, four glasses on a tray</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> The champagne, sir. Mumm’s Cordon
Rouge—just as you ordered.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Motioning it away.</i>] ’M yes. But that was a
long time ago. A very long time ago. Since then
the world has changed quite a good deal. However,
the motto of the Turais is “Never refuse
champagne,” so put it down. [<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span>
<i>places tray on the table and the cooler on the
floor</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Will four glasses be sufficient, sir?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Three more than sufficient. [<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span>
<i>leaves one glass on the tray before</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>he
places the other three on the table. There is a
pause.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>stares at him</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Something in the expression of your
eye, sir, tells me that you are trying to remember
my name.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Quite right. What is it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Dwornitschek, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Still Dwornitschek? Well, well! All right,
Dwornitschek, you can go to bed.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> At what hour would you desire
breakfast, sir?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What time is it now?—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Quarter past four, sir.—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then let us say at seven—or perhaps six.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Anything special that you fancy,
sir?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>In offhand way.</i>] No. Just ham, eggs, cold
chicken, smoked salmon, cold beef, bacon, butter,
milk, honey, jam, rolls and tea.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> With lemon?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Shouts with revulsion.</i>] No! [<i>Quietly.</i>] No—with
rum.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> [<i>Starts to go.</i>] Very good, sir. At
six precisely.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Tell me, Dwornitschek, when do you sleep?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> In the winter, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What are you waiting for?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I was wondering if there were any
more questions you desired to ask me, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, thank you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no, thank <span class="allsmcap">YOU</span>.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I love being asked questions, sir. It
shows that gentlemen take an interest.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You mean in Dwornitschek, the man? As opposed
to Dwornitschek, the servant?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. You are sure you have
nothing more to ask, sir? It would be a treat for
me.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Nothing more, thanks. My stock of knowledge
for to-day is complete. I wish it weren’t.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Then I will bid you good-night, sir.
[<i>Starts to go.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good-night.... One moment! There is one
other thing. Where is the writing paper? And I’d
like some telegraph blanks too. And ink, and also
a pen.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> The writing materials are in the library,
sir, but I can bring them to you here.
[<i>Starts to go.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t bother. I’ll do my writing in the library.
It’s a good idea. No chance of being interrupted.
[<i>Rises and goes up the first step.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I’ll go and turn on the lights, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> One moment. [<i>Points to champagne.</i>] That—can
come too.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Very good, sir. [<i>Takes cooler and
one glass.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Pausing.</i>] After you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK</span>. Oh no, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> My dear Dwornitschek, I insist. You’re sure
that really <i>is</i> your name?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Oh yes, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I only wondered. Thank you.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no. Thank <span class="allsmcap">YOU</span>. [<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>goes
out</i>. <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>puffs his cigarette, gazes for a moment
at the wall of</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>room, sighs and then goes
out at left as the curtain falls</i>.]</p>
<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
<div class="chapter">
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span></p>
<h2 class="nobreak" id="ACT_TWO">ACT TWO</h2>
</div>
<div class="blockquot">
<p class="hanging-indent1"><i>As the curtain rises a clock in the hall is heard to
strike six. Golden sunlight pours in the windows.
The Mediterranean is as blue as tradition has
painted it.</i> <span class="smcap">Sandor Turai</span>, <i>now jauntily attired
in white flannels is seated in the armchair at the
center, with the loose leaves of a manuscript before
him. As the clock stops striking, the door at
left to the hall is opened by</i> <span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span>, <i>who
comes down to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>bringing a newspaper on a
salver</i>. <span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>is followed by two lackeys
in livery, each carrying an enormous silver tray
piled high with</i> <span class="smcap">Turai’s</span> <i>breakfast. During the
dialogue that follows, the lackeys place the breakfast
upon the long table at the right. This done,
one of them stands at attention while the other goes
up to the window, opens it, steps out on the balcony
and lowers an awning which shuts off some
of the now too brilliant sunlight.</i></p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Good morning, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good morning. What’s this?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Morning paper, sir.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’ve read it, of course?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Oh yes, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Anything about me in it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> No, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then take it away.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>gives salver with the newspaper
to one of the lackeys and motions both
off</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Let me see, sir, I <i>think</i> it was ham,
eggs, cold chicken, smoked salmon, cold beef, bacon,
butter, milk, honey, jam and rolls that you
ordered, was it not?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Quite right.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> And tea with lemon.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With revulsion.</i>] Not lemon!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> There’s rum, sir—or cognac, if you
prefer.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Pardon my emotion—I loathe lemons.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. Many people do. I had an
aunt—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Suppose we don’t talk about your aunt just
for the moment.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Very good, sir.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Later on, perhaps.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> At any time that suits <i>you</i>, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You must make allowances for the artistic
temperament. When I have been sitting up all
night writing, I somehow don’t feel in the vein
for discussing other people’s aunts. You understand,
don’t you?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I quite understand, sir.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>has risen and crossed to the table,
upon which he has put the manuscript. He now
goes round to the right side where his place is
set, he examines the breakfast with evident satisfaction.
He lifts the covers from several silver
dishes, looks at their contents with pleasure,
and smiles at</i> <span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>with approval</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’re really a wonderful fellow. How on
earth did you manage not to forget anything?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> It was a labour of love, sir. My
heart is in that breakfast.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Sitting down.</i>] Your heart, <i>too</i>? [<i>After he
has taken a sip of tea.</i>] Ah! that puts new life into
a man.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> You must have had very little
sleep, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Not much.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I hadn’t any.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, I remember you told me you were essentially
a hibernating animal.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Nobody else is stirring as yet. This
is the time when I sometimes manage to lie down
myself for a few moments.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then you will get some sleep, after all?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Just forty winks, sir. That’s the
advantage of being by the sea. Gentlemen stay in
bed till noon. Very different from the mountains.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Who throughout this dialogue is eating and
drinking with relish and satisfaction.</i>] They get
up early in the mountains, eh?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> At about five or four-thirty. They
like to go climbing. But there’s always a bright
side, sir; they go to bed at nine.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You know, you’re broadening my mind tremendously.
Every time I see you, I learn something
new.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> If it’s not a liberty, sir, I should
like to say something.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’ll bet it’s something good. Go on.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> You ought to take more care of
your health, sir. You don’t get enough sleep.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> <i>I</i> don’t?!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> And you smoke too much, sir. I
found at least fifty cigarette-butts in the ashtray
in the library.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Wrong. Thirty-seven.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Too many, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What’s your daily allowance?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Fifteen, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’ll live to be a hundred.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank you—is that a medical opinion,
sir?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No—just a hope. This weary world needs
men like you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> No, no, sir. Like <i>you</i>.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, shall we say like both of us?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Would it be a liberty, sir, if I expressed
the opinion that you have a heart of gold?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Not at all. Thank you very much.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no. Thank <span class="allsmcap">YOU</span>.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> It’s the way you take an interest<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</span>
that touches a man, sir. I wish there was something
I could do for <i>you</i>.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> At the moment, I think the best thing you
can do for me is to leave me alone. And if anyone
asks for me, tell them I’m sleeping and must not
be disturbed. Understand?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Oh, yes, indeed, sir.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>starts to exit</i>. <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>stops
him</i>. <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>pantomimes</i> “Wait a minute. I
must remember your name.” <i>He registers despair.</i>
<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>smiles indulgently and
whispers</i> “Dwornitschek.”]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Thank you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>He goes out at the left to hall.</i>]</p>
<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>rises, listens at staircase, then goes
to the telephone and takes up the receiver</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Hello. Will you give me Miss Ilona Szabo’s
room?</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>He waits. Telephone bell rings loudly in the
room at the left. After a pause it rings again.</i>]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> [<i>Sleepily.</i>] <span class="allsmcap">YES???</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Speaks into telephone, very mildly.</i>] Hello.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> HELLO!!!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Softly.</i>] Hello.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> WHO’S THAT?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The unfeeling brute who has aroused you
from your slumber is known to the police as Sandor
Turai.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> [<i>Changing in a flash, delighted.</i>]
Sandor! Dear old Sandor!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, and how’s the prima donna?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Where are you speaking from?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Next door.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> What!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I thought you’d be surprised. I’m in the next
room.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> How on earth?...</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> My dear little Ilona, let’s postpone the explanations.
I want to see you at once—immediately.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> [<i>Anxiously.</i>] You’re frightening me.
What is it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Deliberately puts down the receiver and
speaks toward the wall.</i>] Don’t get alarmed.
[<i>Lights cigarette at piano.</i>] Come in here at once.
This minute.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> This minute?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> This very minute. [<i>Taps door at left.</i>] Open
this door. Put something on.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> What?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Anything you have.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Do what? I can’t hear. There must
be something wrong with the telephone.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Goes to the wall.</i>] Put something on and
come in here at once. Can you hear better now?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Yes, I can hear beautifully now.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> I’ll be right in. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>goes back to
the telephone and hangs up the receiver. There is
a short pause. Then the door at left to bedroom
is thrown open and</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona Szabo</span> <i>enters. She is an
extraordinarily beautiful, blonde young woman.
Having just got out of bed and slipped a flimsy
alluring negligee over her nightie, she is somewhat
dishevelled. Her golden hair is awry. Moreover
she is, at the moment, more than anxious, her
apprehension and fright are close to panic.</i>]
Sandor—what is it? I feel something terrible has
happened. What’s the matter? When did you get
here?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Calmly.</i>] Sit down, my dear. You and I have
got to do some quick talking.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> But what’s <i>happened</i>? For heaven’s sake, tell
me!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sit down.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Why?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Because if you don’t sit down now, you’ll sit
down later on when you hear what I’ve got to say—and
you’ll sit down <i>hard</i>. Better do it gracefully
while you can.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>He pushes her gently into the armchair at
center.</i>]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I don’t understand.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You will. My dear little Ilona, in spite of the
fact that you are engaged to my young friend
Adam, you are still carrying on an affair with
Mr. Almady.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>With indignation.</i>] It’s an outrageous lie.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good! I thought you were going to say it
was none of my business.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I couldn’t say that, because you’re Albert’s
guardian, guide, philosopher and friend and God
knows what else. And you’re a friend of <i>mine</i> and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span>
write plays for me. So I simply say that it’s a
lie.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’m glad you do, because it’s an observation
which I can answer. I’ve been in this room since
last night and the walls in this new wing are as
thin as paper.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Looks at walls. As the truth dawns upon her
she is horrified.</i>] Good God!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Lemon. [<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>hides her face</i>.] Lemon....
Church steeple. Well, dear Ilona. Suppose we talk
this over? Something’s got to be done—and done
quickly.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> If you heard, you heard what <i>I</i> said too.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Every word.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Then you know that I told him to get out—and
he’s <i>getting</i> out to-day. At twelve o’clock. So,
if you don’t say anything—and of course you
won’t....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Not quite so fast, please. If the thing were as
simple as that, you would never have known from
me that I had overheard you. I regret to say
matters are much more unpleasant.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Sinking back in chair.</i>] My God! You don’t
mean?...</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I see you’ve guessed.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Did—did—I can’t say it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I will say it for you. Yes, the boy <i>did</i> hear it,
too.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] God!... He’s <i>here</i>
then?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> He is here.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Where?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sh! He’s up in Mansky’s room—asleep. And
last night he was in this room—awake.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Rises, goes toward her room.</i>] I’ll take
veronal, all there is in my bottle.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s not enough.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Turns.</i>] Ten ounces.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I was not referring to the veronal. I mean
suicide is no solution.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> There isn’t any solution that I could survive.
[<i>Dramatically.</i>] There are only two things I can
possibly do—kill myself or deny the whole story.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Deny the whole story? Do you suppose if it
were just a question of telling lies, I would have
troubled you? I’d have told them myself long ago.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Then we come back to the veronal.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Exactly. We come back to the veronal—and
find it safely tucked away in its bottle.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, what <i>do</i> you suggest?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I have my plan. And all I ask of you is not
to hinder it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Almost crying.</i>] You know I worship Albert.
If anybody knows that, you do. I’ve been a different
woman since I met him. He looks on me as
a saint. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>gives her a quick ironic glance</i>.]
And he’s right. I <i>have</i> turned into a saint since I
began to love him. It was the only thing I wanted
to do in life—to keep straight for his sake. I was
so happy. [<i>She sinks into armchair crying.</i>] I love
him so.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> And yet you can’t be true to him.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Indignantly.</i>] You’ve no right to say that.
It was nothing but my damned sentimentality.
You know very well that affair with that beast
Almady didn’t last a couple of months. First he
gave me breathing lessons and taught me how to
throw my voice—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With a significant glance.</i>] Yes, he taught
you that, all right.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I’m just a victim of my kind heart. I thought
I was rid of him, but he got himself invited here.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</span>
And he’s always bursting into tears. A woman
hates to see a man cry. He stuck to me like a leech.
[<i>Rises and stalks about hysterically.</i>] But why
on earth would I want to start in with him again?
I give you my word, Sandor, that last night was
simply—like the last dying vibrations of a high
note.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’d have done better to stop vibrating a
little earlier. Still, there it is. What we’ve got to
do now is—get you out of the mess.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Runs across to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and throws herself on
her knees, clasping him beseechingly</i>.] Sandor!
Sandor darling! Do you really think you <i>can</i>?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, I can. But don’t think I’m doing it for
your sake, my dear; not for the sake of your
beautiful eyes. You deserve to be drawn and
quartered. I’m doing it for that poor decent boy
who still retains a few ideals in this unpleasant
world. Yes, my dear Ilona, I think I must ask you
to be a little ashamed of yourself.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] Don’t worry. [<i>Rises.</i>] I am.
What can I do?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Goes to telephone.</i>] I am just going to tell
you. And you won’t enjoy it. Still, good medicine’s
rarely pleasant. [<i>Picks up receiver.</i>] Hello. [<i>To</i>
<span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.] What’s the number of Almady’s room?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Apprehensively.</i>] What do you want with
him?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] Give me Mr. Almady’s
room, please. [<i>Pause.</i>] Never mind about all that,
my good man. I don’t care what instructions he
left—call him. And go on ringing till he answers.
It’s a matter of life and death.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What are you doing?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>In telephone.</i>] Mr. Almady? Yes, yes, I
know you gave instructions.... Will you please
be quiet for a moment?... This is Sandor Turai
speaking. Here in the new wing.... Last
night, by car.... Good morning—you were
awake already! Capital! Would you mind coming
here at once. Room number four.... Yes, I
mean <span class="allsmcap">NOW</span>, right away.... Yes, matter of life
and death was what I said, but I made a slight error.
I should have said a matter of death—Yes,
yes, this very minute—right. [<i>He hangs up the
receiver.</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>starts to go</i>.] Where are you off
to?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> If Almady is coming here?...</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You will kindly stay just where you were.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Looking toward</i> <span class="smcap">Albert’s</span> <i>bedroom at right,
crying</i>.] He looked on me as a saint. He thought<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</span>
I was everything that was fine and pure. He called
me his Madonna.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You should have thought of that a long time
ago.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Tell me—what did Albert say?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I wouldn’t ask that if I were you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> God! What was the plan you said you had?...
Can’t you speak?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Patience.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> It’s too cruel.... Just because I hate hurting
people’s feelings.... [<i>She breaks off as a
knock sounds on the door left to hall.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come in.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span>, <i>who enters is also in a state of
nervous apprehension. He is attired in elaborate,
not to say loud, house pajamas. A tall and but
recently handsome man, now well into middle
age.</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>is first, last and always the actor.
He dramatizes every moment of his existence.
He does not walk, he struts; he does not talk,
he declaims.</i>]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Good morning. [<i>Sees</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>, <i>surprised</i>.]
Hullo. <i>You</i> here?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, she’s here.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> But what’s the matter? Has something
happened?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Oh, do sit down.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Grimly.</i>] He’ll sit down quite soon enough.
I’m not afraid of <i>his</i> not sitting down.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] You’ll forgive me if I seem
nervous....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Glass of brandy?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Thank you. [<i>Deliberately.</i>] <i>Never</i> in the
morning.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Mr. Almady, you are a married man and the
father of a family. And you are forcing your attentions
on another man’s fiancée.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Indignantly.</i>] It’s an outrageous lie.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good. I thought you were going to say it was
none of my business. You would have been quite
right. But a lie—no, I’m afraid that won’t do.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Aggressively.</i>] Mr. Turai, I would have
you know—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Shut up!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Outraged.</i>] “Shut up!”</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Significantly.</i>] Lemon! [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>sits down
abruptly</i>.] I told you he’d sit down. [<span class="smcap">Almady<span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span></span>
<i>looks at the left wall</i>.] Yes, quite right. It’s as
thin as paper.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Rises.</i>] Now come, Mr. Turai, between
two gentlemen....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I beg your pardon?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> As one gentleman to another, I ask your
discretion....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sit down.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Sitting down anxiously.</i>] Why? Is there
something else coming?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Crosses to right and listens at staircase.</i>]
Yes, there is something else coming. Are you
sitting down?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then listen. I wasn’t the only one who heard
everything. Her fiancé was in this room with me
at the time, and his hearing is excellent.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Strangling.</i>] Brandy!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Pouring it out.</i>] In the morning? [<i>Gives</i>
<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>the brandy</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I always take it in the morning. [<i>He gulps
it down.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, what are you going to do now, you
miserable idiot, you? You see what you’ve done.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span>
You’ve driven me to suicide. Oh God! I shall die.
I shall die!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Rising melodramatically.</i>] I’ll die with
you!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I don’t want you! I’m going to die alone.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Pompously.</i>] I am ready to give him satisfaction.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s the last straw. [<i>As</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>starts to
speak</i>.] I’ll tell you what you are going to do. You
are going to do just as I order.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Starting up.</i>] Order?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sit down.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>sits down</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes—order. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>—<i>rapidly</i>.] Tell us,
please. Never mind how much he rants.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Indignantly.</i>] Rants! You dare to criticise
my diction?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh! Damn your diction! Just thank your
stars that I’m going to get you out of this. A
married man! Father of a family. With four children
at home—four little lemons! [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>rises</i>.]
One word from you, and this telegram, all ready
and written, goes off to your wife.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>looks again at wall and groans</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Look at him. Don’t look at the wall. Last
night was the time to have done that.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> In that room next door—last night—something
occurred.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Ashamed.</i>] Yes, yes, <i>please</i>. We know what
occurred.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That is just what you don’t know. You are
now going to hear. What occurred was the rehearsal
of a play. Do you grasp my meaning?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> In the middle of the night?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> In the middle of the night.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> How do you mean—the rehearsal of a play?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Your very loud remarks, so loud that they
actually penetrated the wall—were dialogue from
a play. Now, do you understand?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I do. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] Don’t you—idiot?
[<i>Rises.</i>] It’s the most marvelous, wonderful idea,
you old darling....</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>She is just about to embrace</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>when
she stops in consternation</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> It’s no good. He’d never believe it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why wouldn’t he believe it?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Where on earth is there a play with lines in
it like those?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Where? [<i>Picking up pile of papers from the
table.</i>] Here.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What do you mean?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Pointing.</i>] Here you are. Here’s the play.
This is it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Who wrote it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I did. Don’t stare at me, my dear child, with
those starry eyes of blue. [<i>Sits on bench.</i>] Rather
ask when I wrote it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> When could you have written it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> This morning—between four and six. After
all, one is either a playwright or one isn’t. Half of
it I heard through the wall; the other half I wrote
to fit. In this life, everyone has to fight with his
own weapons. My weapon is the pen! And, on this
occasion I hope it will prove considerably mightier
than the sword. I am feeling this morning like an
acrobat, who for once has the chance to use his skill
to save a life. I don’t suppose any play has ever
yet been written with such purely altruistic
motives. Well, there you are. There’s the play.
Read it—learn it and play it.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>He gives her the manuscript.</i>]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> <i>Play</i> it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Naturally you must play it. How else can
you make him believe without a shadow of doubt
that what you were saying last night was just
dialogue? Off you go. Dress rehearsal early this
evening. Opening to-night.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> To-night? But where?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> At the concert, of course. After dinner in the
ballroom. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.] You’re down on the programme
already for something or other.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> A couple of songs. [<i>Contemptuously.</i>] He’s
to recite some poems.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then there’ll be a slight change in the programme.
He’ll act with you instead—a one-act
play.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Looking at script.</i>] But how on earth can
I learn all this by to-night?</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>goes to window</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, really! Last night you knew it well
enough. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>sighs deeply</i>.] What’s the matter
with you?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Comes down.</i>] Mr. Turai, that was a sigh
of relief. Do you <i>know</i> my wife?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I do. Didn’t I tell you that it was a matter of
death?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> How can I ever thank you?</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>He holds out his hand.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>ignores it</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t bother to try. If you think I’m doing
this for your sake, my good man, you’re greatly
mistaken. Unfortunately, my life-saving apparatus
is so constructed that you automatically have
to be rescued, too.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Oh, but listen....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Now what is it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What earthly reason could we have had for
rehearsing at three in the morning?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s what I ask myself, but I answer myself—quite
simple. You had to play the thing to-night.
You’d lost a lot of time on a picnic. Every
moment was precious. You were so conscientious
that when you came home you insisted on rehearsing
even though it was three o’clock in the morning.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, we’d better go and start studying at
once. I’m a very slow study.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> One minute. Don’t get excited. Who’s supposed
to be running this concert?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> The Count’s secretary, Mr. Mell.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We must notify him of this change in the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span>
programme. [<i>Goes to telephone.</i>] Hello....
Give me Mr. Mell’s room, please.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> But he’ll be asleep.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh no, my dear. Not after this telephone bell
has rung once or twice. [<i>He hands</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>the receiver</i>.]
There you are—ladies first.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Taking telephone.</i>] But what am I to say?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Keep calm. I’ll prompt you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Hello! Is that Mr. Mell? Yes, it is early, isn’t
it?</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>She looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>for directions</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good morning.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] Good morning.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> How did you sleep?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Her hand over the receiver.</i>] I <i>can’t</i> say
that. The poor man is furious.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Shrugging.</i>] Use your own judgment, then.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone in her most seductive
manner.</i>] Dear Mr. Mell! [<i>Coos.</i>] I’m so dreadfully
sorry to wake you up at this hour, but I
wanted to tell you that there will be a little change
in the programme to-night. I’m sure the Count
will be pleased. I’m sure you will be pleased. I’m
sure the audience will be pleased.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Unanimous.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] Instead of working
alone, I’m going to appear with Mr. Almady. Yes,
Mr. Almady. In an extremely witty, charming,
brilliant little duologue. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>bows</i>. <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>
<i>listens at the telephone for a moment. Then she
turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and asks, as if she were still speaking
to</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span>.] What kind of a play is it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> French.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] French. [<i>As before.</i>]
Who wrote it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Geraldy.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Geraldy, I believe.... [<i>Pause.</i>] Oh, isn’t
that nice!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Apprehensive.</i>] What’s nice?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Hand over receiver.</i>] He says he knows
every line that Geraldy ever wrote.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then it’s by Sardou.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] No, I’m sorry. I’ve just
been looking at the script again. It’s not by
Geraldy; it’s by Sardou.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The Great Sardou.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] The Great Sardou!...
Indeed?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> How is he up on Sardou?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Covering receiver.</i>] He says the only thing
of Sardou’s he knows is Hedda Gabbler.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Delighted.</i>] That’s the man for us!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] That’s the man for us.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no, no! That last remark was supposed to
be confidential.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Good-bye, and thank you so much, Mr. Mell.
You’ve been so sweet.... Oh, of course—as if
we’d dream of having anybody but you as a
prompter!... The title?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> A tooth for a tooth!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] A truth....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Tooth, tooth.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> A tooth for a tooth.... Yes, isn’t it? Quite
snappy. [<i>Coos.</i>] Good-bye. [<i>She hangs up receiver
and turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] Why a <i>French</i> piece?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Merely to ensure that nobody will know who
wrote it. That’s the beauty of French literature—there’s
such a lot of it. Besides, one has one’s conscience.
I’ve stolen so much from the French in
my time that it’s only fair I should give <i>them</i>
something for a change. And now that everything
seems to be working out all right, let me say with<span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span>
all the emphasis at my disposal—get out. Go and
study! [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] And—so that no one will
recognize my handwriting—<i>you</i> have got to copy
out the script.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> All of it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> From beginning to end.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You think of everything.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Unlike a certain Southern fruit.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Who has been looking through the script.</i>]
Oh, but this isn’t right.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What isn’t?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> This line. You make me say “Your kiss is revolting
to me.” What I really said was....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> “That was your old kiss. Sweet and burning
like hot punch.” I know. My memory is excellent.
But fortunately we got the boy out of the room
before you got that far.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> And may I be permitted to inquire <i>why</i> my
kiss should be described as revolting?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The line occurs in the second part of the
play, where I was relying on my native inspiration.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You call my kiss revolting? I wish to know
why.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That is how I <i>see</i> it. I am the author of this
play, and that is my opinion of your kiss.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>goes up stage in a huff</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I do think you might have made some noise
to warn us. Why couldn’t you have coughed or
something?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Suppose I had, what should I have been able
to do <i>now</i>? You overlook the fact that your very
first words, my dear Ilona, left no room for misunderstanding.
If I had stopped you then nothing
could have averted the tragedy.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Coming down mollified.</i>] What a brain!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You flatter me!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No, he doesn’t. He’s right for once. Did this
idea come to you the moment you heard us?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, I got it from you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> From us?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, stupid of me, I admit. You see, I always
assume the best of my fellowmen. And just for a
minute I did think that you really were acting.
Later on, I realized my mistake.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You thought we were acting. Why?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Because it all sounded so artificial. No ring<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span>
of conviction. I refer particularly to the more
erotic passages.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I don’t wonder. Considering I don’t care one
little bit for the man....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> What’s that?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You heard.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You don’t love me?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Furious.</i>] So you were lying.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Just to get rid of me?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>With loathing, vehemently.</i>] Yes. I hate the
sight of you!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] Serpent!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I’d like to murder you!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Bursts into ludicrous sobs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> My God!—this is the limit!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> If you want to cry all over anyone, cry all
over me. I like it. It’s like a tonic to me.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> What made you realize that we were not
acting?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The disgusting, sloppy way you began carrying<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</span>
on. No author living would dare put slush like
that in the mouth of an actor who was supposed to
be making love.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Sloppy?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Beyond words.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>With indignation.</i>] Allow me to inform
you—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Shut up!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>His dignity collapsing.</i>] Oh, very well.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> My friends may be here any minute now.
Please go and study your parts. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>, <i>who
has been turning over the leaves of the script</i>.]
That’s a bit you’ll have to learn particularly well.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Which?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Pointing to manuscript.</i>] These lines here.
This loathsome series of speeches—the ones we
overheard last night. [<i>Points.</i>] From there to
there.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>looks at script</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Reads.</i>] Odd—I hardly remember—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I do. Nor is your fiancé likely to have forgotten.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Reading.</i>] “I worship you. I adore you. I
love you as the church steeple loves the cloud that<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span>
settles on its summit.” [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>turns away, embarrassed</i>.]
Just words!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Takes script.</i>] “You have used me up and
squeezed me like a lemon.”</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Takes script.</i>] Yes, now I remember—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It’s all down, word for word.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>takes script</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, the passage is underlined in red ink.
Three pages—here—from page sixteen. It goes on
“Come here and let me kiss that beautiful classic
brow”—and then—this is the worst bit, here—this
mad outburst of sensuality—[<i>Reads
rapidly.</i>] “When I look at <i>that</i>—at the perfect
shape. The rose flush of that skin—Just to stroke
it!...”</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes, but I....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I know, I know. [<i>Reads.</i>] “Hands off!” you
said. But he couldn’t have obeyed you for he goes
on “My God! How round it is! How smooth! How
velvety!” And then I’m afraid he must have got
very close indeed for he adds, “And how fragrant.”
That’s right, isn’t it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Quite right. It <i>was</i> fragrant.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> But I....</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, my dear, you did <i>not</i>. There was a complete
silence until you exclaimed, “You mustn’t
bite....” [<i>Both turn away.</i>] Yes, I should think
you <i>would</i> be ashamed of yourselves. [<i>He gives</i>
<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>the script</i>.] All right, then; copy it out and
learn it. If you ever studied parts in your lives,
study these. We’ll have the dress rehearsal at
seven-thirty sharp, here in this room. I’ll give
you a run through. And after dinner, first performance.
And now—?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Out we go, eh?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You took the words out of my mouth. And
don’t forget, we’ve not seen each other for three
months.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> All right—three months.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Going out.</i>] A colossal brain!</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>They bow.</i>]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I thank you.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>go into her room</i>. <span class="smcap">Turai</span>
<i>sits down and resumes his interrupted breakfast.
Throughout the following scene he goes on
eating quietly, deliberately, and with a good
appetite.</i>]</p>
<p>[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>enters at right, also in white
flannels, but looking more doleful and dejected
than ever</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Have you been up long?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I couldn’t sleep. [<i>He goes on eating.</i>] How’s
our infant?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Woke up a moment ago. I left him dressing.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You had breakfast yet?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Not a mouthful. Couldn’t touch it. <i>You</i>
seem to have no difficulty in putting it away.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With mock sadness.</i>] One must keep up
one’s strength.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I’m amazed, and, if I may say so, a little
shocked. Sitting there gorging as if nothing had
happened. Can’t you realize we’re absolutely
ruined? I’m positively ill thinking about it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Mysteriously.</i>] Shall I let you into a secret,
Mansky?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>With excited anticipation.</i>] Yes. Tell me.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With great deliberation.</i>] I am a man who
weighs his words. I do not speak lightly. And I
say to you solemnly, my friend, [<i>dramatic
pause.</i>] that this is the best bit of ham I’ve ever
tasted.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Furious.</i>] Bah!</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>Crosses left to a mirror.</i>]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Continuing as before.</i>] Juicy—nutty—positively
good. [<i>Solicitously.</i>] Did the boy sleep
at all?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> He dropped off about daylight out of sheer
exhaustion. [<i>Looks in the glass.</i>] I’m pale.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Say anything?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Not a word. Just stared at the ceiling.
You know, that’s bad.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Ceilings aren’t so bad. Walls are much worse.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> What I can’t understand is why a magnificent
place like this should have walls like tissue-paper.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Ah! These are deep waters.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Irritated.</i>] Do stop eating!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> But I haven’t finished.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Gobble—gobble—gobble! [<i>Looks in the
glass.</i>] My God! I am pale!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Suits you. Intellectual pallor.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Crosses to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] What about that solution
you were hinting at last night?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> There were several possibilities. I considered
them all thoroughly in the night watches—while
you lay snoring in your bed. Oh yes, I heard you<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</span>
while I was changing my clothes. [<i>Points to the
table.</i>] Telegrams, letters, all ready. Finally I hit
on the best and simplest plan.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Which is?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’m going to do everything possible to make
him break with her.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> What for?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Because that’s the surest way of bringing
them together. If he casts her off forever—in two
weeks he’ll be rushing after her and falling at her
feet. The lady—after a little coaxing—will allow
herself to melt. He will coax a little more. She will
melt a little more. Finally she will melt altogether—and
the curtain will fall on the lovers’ slow embrace.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>With cumulative contempt.</i>] You thought
of that in the night, did you?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I did.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> All by yourself?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> All by myself.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well!!! I’ve noticed all this past year that
you’ve been slipping. I realise now, that you’ve
completely lost your grip. Our last show died the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</span>
death simply because you would write psychology
into it. And now you’ve become simply drivelling.
It’s a great shock to me. Do you know what’s happening?
Little by little you’re beginning to think—and
that spells ruin for both of us. Haven’t you
grasped yet what a frightful knock-down blow
last night’s affair was to that boy?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sh! Sh! [<i>Listens, pointing to door right.</i>]
Here he is! [<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>. <i>He is also in white
flannels. Very solemn and miserable. Pause. He
passes them without a word and goes to balcony.</i>]
Hullo! Not even a good morning?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Oh, good morning.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>rises</i>; <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>looks longingly at
breakfast things</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>with his best bed-side manner</i>.]
Had breakfast?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> No.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>goes above table and sits down;
starts to eat</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Sleep?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> No.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Nor did I. [<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>looks at left wall</i>.] No.
Nothing from there. Not another sound. He left<span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span>
and she went to sleep. <i>I</i> didn’t on your account.
[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] Hullo! Appetite picking up?
Appetite picking up?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Starting guiltily and pushing his plate
away.</i>] No. I can’t swallow. Too nervous. I’m a
wreck.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Try the ham.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Goes to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] I—my dear Uncle Sandor—I
don’t want to be a burden to you two any
longer—now that my life has been blown to bits.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come, come, come!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I mean it. I know what I’m talking about.
There’s a great crack in my heart, and—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come now,—be a man. We had enough of
that sort of talk last night. Tell me just what is it
you want to do?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Before anything else, I want to get away
from this place.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Quite reasonable. And then?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Then I’ll tear up the music I wrote for her—tear
it into little bits and burn it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Right. And after that?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Don’t be so casual. You know I have nobody<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span>
in the world but you—you two. If you hadn’t been
here, I’d have ended things long ago.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>, <i>who has once more started on
the breakfast</i>.] That’s right. Peck a bit.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Jumping up.</i>] No. It’s no good. Absolutely
can’t swallow. I’m a very sick man.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> You see? I’m to blame for that.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Now listen to me, my boy. Sit down. [<span class="smcap">Adam</span>
<i>sits</i>.] What has happened, has happened. It’s
over, done with, a thing of the past. And I’m
going to say something to you now which no
young person will ever believe. You’re twenty-five
and you’re gifted. The world’s at your feet. And
that world, let me remind you, contains a great
many million women.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> What good are they to me? I only wanted this
one. [<i>Rises.</i>] Can’t we get away now—at once. I
won’t see her!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh yes, you will. No scandals, if you please.
You arrived here late at night; everybody knows
she is your fiancée, you can’t run away this morning.
Now, I’m not going to urge—in fact, I—er—positively
forbid you to become reconciled to her,—but
you must do the sensible thing. In the
course of the morning we will go to her and pay
our respects, and stay on here another day or two,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</span>
and we will not breathe a word of what happened
last night. You will behave towards her quite
nicely and naturally. I know it will hurt. It’s a bitter
pill to swallow. But to-day you are a man.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Yes. You’re right.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Up with the head and out with the chin and
damn everybody! That’s the stuff. The day after
to-morrow, when we leave, you shall write her a
letter, and let yourself go as much as you like.
And, no matter how it may hurt, you have finished
with that woman forever.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>With an effort.</i>] Very well. And if—it
should hurt <i>too</i> much, don’t be afraid that I’ll go
back to her. I’ll always have pluck enough to put
a bullet through my head.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> There! See where you have got us to with
your psychology.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] You ought to be ashamed of
yourself.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Smilingly.</i>] It’s all right. It was silly of me
to talk nonsense like that. I won’t let you down.
You shall be satisfied with me.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Good. Then you won’t—er—tear
anything up?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> No.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’ll behave towards Ilona as if nothing
had happened?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Yes. Honour bright.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>He holds out his hand.</i>]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Rises.</i>] I am satisfied.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Sitting down to breakfast, a completely
changed man.</i>] It’s an enormous relief to me to see
you getting hold of yourself again so capitally.
[<i>Eats rapidly.</i>] Bless my soul, yes, an enormous
relief. I really feel a little better.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’m proud of you. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] Haven’t
you finished breakfast <i>yet</i>?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Delighted.</i>] I can swallow.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> So I notice.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Come and join me, my boy.
You’ll find your appetite steals back, little by
little. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>who is standing beside him</i>.]
He’s suffering. He can’t get over it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We must try to make him.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Come on, my boy—just a mouthful. Try
a little of this excellent ham.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I don’t want any ham.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well, a slice of chicken, then—and some
nice hot tea with a drop of brandy.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Oh, all right. [<i>Sits down.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>who is sitting deep in
thought</i>.] Well, what’s on <i>your</i> mind?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> After trying to cheer <i>me</i> up, are you going to
be depressed yourself?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Do you know what I think’s the matter
with him? He’s got another—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You win. Another problem.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Theatre?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> As always.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Oh, my God!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Last night, when we came into this room, I
was saying how hard it was to begin a play. I’m
now thinking how hard it is to end a second act.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Oh, come and end your breakfast.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, I mean it. It’s worrying me. Take this
situation of ours, for instance—just as we did
yesterday—We have had a curious experience.
We arrived perfectly happy and immediately got
a terrible shock—a ghastly disillusionment. We’ve
managed to survive it, and we’ve got ourselves in
hand again. But, suppose these things had happened
not in real life but on the stage—suppose
this were not a real room but a painted set—suppose<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</span>
we three were characters in a play who had
just passed through the experiences we have
passed through—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, how would you end the act?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Impatiently.</i>] My dear fellow! It’s ended
already.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> In a way, yes. But don’t forget that, at the
last moment, before the curtain actually falls, you
need something more—a new note of suspense—a
punch—both, if you can manage it. In fact,
just what is implied in that word “Curtain.” Curtain—Curtain.
The act must end and yet it must
not quite end. The audience’s interest must be
snapped up—given a jolt. So, my distinguished
collaborator, how about it? You’ve often told me
how good you are—try your hand at ending the
second act of this dismal adventure of ours.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> My dear chap, simplicity itself. Come here.
Sit down. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>sits at table</i>.] Now then. I’m
all for the quiet curtain. One of those charming
delicate things the French do so well. <i>You</i> know—sophisticated—lightly
sentimental—the smile
behind the tear. The three friends sit down to
breakfast. Audiences always like to see actors
eating. The storm has passed. The skies are still<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</span>
a little dark, but there is sunshine in the heart and
all that sort of thing. Let this sink in for a bit—everything
very cozy and pleasant. Business of
eating—we each have a glass of wine. [<i>They all
take up their glasses.</i>] For a moment—silence—their
thoughts are busy with what has passed.
[<i>Pause.</i>] Capital. And then—[<i>He raises his
glass.</i>]—you want a couple of smart lines, spoken
with something of a flourish. [<i>Thinks.</i>] Oh, well—[<i>Then
as if he had thought of what he wanted to
say—to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] My young friend, to-day you have
become a man—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Pointing to where he was sitting at the
time.</i>] <i>I</i> said that.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> For—always remember—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, that shows ’em it’s coming.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Not heeding him.</i>] Always remember that
in affairs of the heart it is not the first victory
that makes us men, but the first defeat. [<i>Lifts his
glass.</i>] To Woman’s Treachery, which has made
our child a man! [<i>Raises his hand toward the
curtain.</i>] Curtain. [<i>Curtain starts to come down.
They put their glasses down on the table, simultaneously,
untasted.</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>smiles complacently</i>.]
How’s that?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Rotten! [<i>Curtain slowly goes up again.</i>]<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</span>
[<i>Gets up.</i>] Tame. Feeble. Nothing in the nature
of a high spot. I’m not saying it isn’t pretty and
graceful. Charming even—but it lacks suspense.
[<i>Pause.</i>] [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] How would <i>you</i> do it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I? Feeling as I do now?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Give us your idea.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>With tremendous intensity.</i>] Very well, I’ll
give you my idea. We start from where Mansky
gave that toast.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> To Woman’s—?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Rises.</i>] Treachery. That’s it. I’d say—“No.
I won’t drink any toast.” [<i>Throws glass against
the wall smashing it to bits.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Approvingly.</i>] Effective.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Rapidly losing control of himself and becoming
hysterical.</i>] That woman was not just an
incident in my life. She was my first great passion.
I promised to act as if nothing had happened. I
meant to keep that promise. But when I remember
that I gave her my life and that she whispers
words of love to another man—and—and kisses
another man, that’s such unbearable, burning
torture, that the only right solution— [<i>Grabs
small game carving knife from table.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Leaping forward.</i>] Hey! Stop that!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Struggling with him.</i>] No! No!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Rushing forward.</i>] My God! You weren’t
really—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Struggling.</i>] Let me go. I want to die.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>has got knife away from him. He
looks at it intently.</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>stands, pale and defiant</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What the devil do you think you’re doing?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] Just—finishing the act. [<i>He sits
down.</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>follows him and sits down, too.
Smiles wanly.</i>] Curtain!</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>Curtain starts to come down.</i>]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Putting the knife away.</i>] Very bad. [<i>Curtain
goes up slowly again.</i>] Quite impossible. Death’s
all right for the end of a play, but absolutely no
good for a second act. Besides, the scene was too
crude. I don’t say the gallery might not like it,
but think what the critics would say. They despise
melodrama. Suspense is what you want—suspense
and then a quick curtain.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> And now, I suppose, you could show us
how it really ought to be done?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Goes to telephone.</i>] Hello. Will you give me
Miss Ilona Szabo’s room, please.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>Bell sounds in</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>room</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Starting.</i>] What on earth—?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Hello.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Hello. Ilona?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Yes. Who is that speaking?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t you recognize my voice? This is
Sandor Turai.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Oh, how wonderful! Are you here,
then? Where are you speaking from?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, I’m right here in the castle. Next door
to you. Number four.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> What a perfectly delightful surprise.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We came by car last night. All three of us.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> You don’t mean Albert, too?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes—and Mansky, if you think that worth
mentioning. We’re all three here in this room, and
we’ve brought you the finished script of the
operetta.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Marvellous! That’s something like a
surprise.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We were hesitating about waking you so
early, but I particularly wanted to see you about<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</span>
something. Can you come in here for a minute?</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>Replaces receiver and goes to door.</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>
<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>stand where they are</i>.]</p>
<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>with assumed joy and excitement</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, this is wonderful of you all. [<i>She kisses</i>
<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>lightly and crosses quickly to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>who
kisses her hands</i>.] What a surprise. Albert darling!
This <i>is</i> a surprise. [<i>She hangs onto</i> <span class="smcap">Adam’s</span>
<i>arm</i>.] Sandor! To think that it’s—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> —three whole months—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> —three whole months since I’ve seen you.
How brown you’re looking. And younger than
ever. Let me look at you. Wonderful! [<i>She crosses
to</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and kisses him on each cheek</i>.] And
Mansky—how are <i>you</i>, Mansky dear? I think this
is too sweet of you all. You don’t know how I’ve
been longing to see you. When did you get here?
[<i>She returns to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Very gravely.</i>] Just a minute, Ilona. [<i>He
looks through door into her room.</i>] Why, Mr.
Almady! Of all people! Won’t you come in?</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Nervously.</i>] Good morning.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Fancy finding <i>you</i> here after all these years.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Pompously.</i>] Passing through. Just passing
through. I only wanted to say how-d’you-do
to the Count, but they wouldn’t let me go. The—er—the
shooting-party you know, and the concert.
They insisted on my staying.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I was <i>so</i> surprised to see him.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Pardon me for disturbing you and possibly
casting a slight gloom on what must have been a
joyful reunion, but I have something rather important
to say.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>drops</i> <span class="smcap">Adam’s</span> <i>arm</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Crosses to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] What do you mean?
Nothing—nothing unpleasant, I hope?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes—extremely unpleasant. [<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>sits
down, terrified. To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] Please. [<i>He motions
them to sit down.</i>] Well, then. We arrived
here last night— [<i>Long pause.</i>] And just now
we were sitting having breakfast—we three—
[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] Weren’t we?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Puzzled.</i>] Yes.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Keep quite calm, please. We were sitting here,
having breakfast—all three of us. [<i>He lowers his
voice and speaks very earnestly.</i>] I must entreat<span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</span>
you all to hear what I am about to say quite
calmly— Don’t lose your heads—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> For God’s sake—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Uneasily.</i>] Well? What is it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Holds up his hand.</i>] Please! [<i>Dead silence.</i>]
What I am about to say—and I shall not detain
you long now—must almost inevitably have a
shattering effect on the lives—both the private
and the professional lives—of all us five people.
I have asked myself—is it wise to speak? And I
have answered myself—wise or not, it is unavoidable.
Ilona— [<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>rises, gasping</i>.] I have a
question to ask you— [<i>Breaks off. Dead silence.
Then very simply to</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] How’s that for
suspense?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Yes. Yes. Well? What now?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Nothing. That’s all. [<i>Smiles.</i>] Curtain!
[<i>Curtain comes down quickly and rises immediately.
He offers</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>his arm, as the rest of the
group breathe again and relax their tension</i>.]
We’ve just been having an argument about the
proper way to end a second act. [<i>Leads</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>
<i>slowly to door, left to hall, the others following</i>.]
I couldn’t resist the temptation to show these colleagues
of mine how, by the most simple methods,
you can make an act end on a note of suspense.
You see—</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</span></p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>He goes out, talking, followed first by</i>
<span class="smcap">Almady</span>, <i>then by</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Going out; to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Crazy. Absolutely
crazy. Thinks of nothing in the world but the
theatre— [<i>The curtain falls again.</i>]</p>
<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
<div class="chapter">
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</span></p>
<h2 class="nobreak" id="ACT_THREE">ACT THREE</h2>
</div>
<div class="blockquot">
<p class="hanging-indent1"><i>As the curtain rises it reveals the room lighted up
by the electric sconces and candelabra. A large
and elaborately painted screen in silver and green
has been placed in front of the window. It is
painted to suggest an orchard. The screen shuts
out the view of the Mediterranean, but to the left
and right of it we glimpse the lighted esplanade,
and many more twinkling lights than in the first
act, for it is early evening. There are two garden
chairs in front of the screen in the raised portion
of the room; otherwise the scene is unchanged.</i>
<span class="smcap">Mr. Mell</span>, <i>the count’s secretary, and the master
of ceremonies, enters at left from the hall. He is
a fussy, pale young man with high pitched voice.
He wears glasses and is in evening clothes. He is
carrying a wicker table, and carrying it with difficulty
and discomfort. He places it between the
two wicker chairs in front of the screen and stands
caressing his hands where the table has cut into
them.</i></p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Calls.</i>] Dwornitschek. [<i>To himself.</i>] Where
is that man? [<i>Calls.</i>] Dwornitschek.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK’S VOICE.</span> Coming, sir, coming.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>enters from the hall, followed
by a lackey. They are both in formal, full
dress livery of white with knee breeches, and
powdered wigs.</i> <span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>carries a book,
two letters, a scarf and a woman’s hat. The
lackey carries a tall brown hunting hat, whip,
gauntlets and a large, luscious peach.</i>]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Oh, there you are at last. Why are you so
late?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I fell downstairs, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Well, that oughtn’t to have taken you long.
[<i>He fiddles with the screen.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> You should have let <i>me</i> carry those
things, Mr. Mell.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I couldn’t wait. You are so slow.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Slow but sure, sir. [<i>He puts things
on table.</i>] When I was a lad, my mother used to
say....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I don’t want to hear about your mother.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> No, sir. Very few people do.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Have you got all the properties?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Props, sir, is the more professional
expression.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I was using the more technical term....
Well, properties or props, have you got them?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. Book....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> ... Peach....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> ... Scarf....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> ... Whip....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> ... Two letters and a pair of
gloves.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Good. [<i>Mops his forehead.</i>] Oh dear, what a
headache I’m getting.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> What you want is an aspirin.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Have you an aspirin?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> No, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> You’re a great help.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank you, sir. If I might be allowed
to say so, you let yourself get too nervous
on these festive nights, sir. You <i>worry</i>.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> How can I help worrying, with all the responsibility
there is on my shoulders?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> What I always say is— Never worry
too much to-day. Things may be worse to-morrow,
and then you can worry twice as hard.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> It does make me so nervous when people want
to alter the programme at the last moment. First
Miss Szabo says she’s going to sing, then she
says she’s going to act.... [<i>He breaks off as</i>
<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>enters, goes to</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] Good evening,
sir, good evening. You are first in the field.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Grouchily.</i>] Good evening. The others
will be here directly. They’re dressing.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> A wonderful shooting party to-day, sir. Capital
sport, capital. There is nothing like a good
brisk day out in the open with the guns. What a
colour it has given you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I wasn’t there.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Eh? Oh! Not there?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> No. I’ve been in my room all day, writing.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Pardon my curiosity, but may one ask what
you were writing?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> No, one may not.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> [<i>Explaining.</i>] I think the gentleman
does not wish to say what he was writing, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Oh, are you still there?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. Still here.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Then go away.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Very good, sir. Really I shouldn’t
worry, Mr. Mell. Look on the bright side, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> All very well for you. You have no responsibilities,
and the guests give you big tips.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> That <i>is</i> the bright side, sir. [<i>He
goes out at left to hall followed by the lackey.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> A secretary’s life is a dog’s life, Mr. Almady.
Work, work, work from morning till night, and
never a word of thanks. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>takes no notice</i>.]
You are very silent, Mr. Almady.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I sometimes find it soothing to be silent.
Try it yourself one of these days ... I take it
the concert begins directly after dinner?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Immediately following the serving of coffee.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> And when does this—this play of ours
come on?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> It is the last item on the programme. The
place of honour.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Bah! [<i>Walks away upstage.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Sir? [<i>Follows him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Absorbed in his part which he is studying.</i>]
Nothing.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Miss Szabo tells me that no scenery is required
but two elegant chairs and one elegant table.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Is that an elegant table?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Well, really—no. But what can one expect in
a garden? Oh—if only the scene had been an interior—there’s
some perfectly lovely furniture in
the Count’s room—genuine Louis the Fifteenth. A
very elegant period, Louis the Fifteenth.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I don’t care a damn. They’re all the same
to me. Louis the Fifteenth or Louis the Fourteenth
or Louis the Seventeenth.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> But there isn’t a Louis the <i>Seventeenth</i>, and
I’ve often wondered why. Why, I’ve wondered,
should there be a Louis the <i>Sixteenth</i> and a Louis
the <i>Eighteenth</i>, but not a Louis the <i>Seventeenth</i>?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Exasperated.</i>] Oh, God. Ask a furniture
dealer.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I did. I’m <i>always</i> asking furniture dealers.
But they only know as far as Louis the <i>Sixteenth</i>.
That’s where the Louis stop for furniture dealers.
Whenever I say Louis the <i>Seventeenth</i> they say
you mean the <i>Sixteenth</i>, and I say no, I don’t
mean Louis the <i>Sixteenth</i>, I mean Louis the <i>Seventeenth</i>
and.... [<i>Breaks off and mops his
brow.</i>] I’m afraid I’m talking a great deal, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Oh, you’ve noticed that?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> The fact is, Mr. Almady, I’m all of a twitter.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> What have <i>you</i> got to be nervous about?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I’m always like this on these big nights. You
see I’m responsible for everything and its terribly
wearing on the nerves. [<i>During this long speech of</i>
<span class="smcap">Mell’s</span>, <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>becomes bored and walks away</i>,
<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>suddenly aware that he is talking to the air,
follows him</i>.] I’m stage manager, property man
and prompter. I turn the music, show the ladies to
their seats, hand bouquets onto the stage—and
I’m expected always to applaud at the right moment.
I assure you I have often gone to bed after
one of these entertainments with my hands so tender
I could scarcely hold my toothbrush. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span>
<i>does not answer</i>.] You will pardon me for mentioning
it, sir, but you don’t seem quite your merry
old self to-night.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I’m as cheerful as any man would be whose
brain had been addled from studying an infernal
part all day.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> But I thought you said you had spent the day
writing?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Yes, I—I always memorize a part by writing
it out.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> What energy! What enthusiasm! Have you
a nice part?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> No. Rotten.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Dear, dear, dear! You’ll feel better when you
hear the applause. We’re great applauders here.
We don’t care <i>how</i> bad an actor is—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Offended; moves away.</i>] Thank you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Follows.</i>] I beg your pardon. I—I don’t
mean it like that. [<i>Goes to door of</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>room
and knocks</i>.] Miss Szabo, please. Miss Szabo,
please. Beginners, please.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>in evening dress</i>.]</p>
<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>right, in dress clothes</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, we seem to be all here. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>bows</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Good evening, Miss Szabo, good evening,
good evening.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, we may as well begin.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Wouldn’t it be as well to wait for Mr.
Turai? [<i>Bitterly.</i>] Seeing that he is being so kind
as to give us his invaluable assistance.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> He’ll be here directly. Where is the prompter?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Present. Present.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Here’s the script. [<i>Hands it to him.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Goes to stage.</i>] I hope this extemporé set
meets with your approval? [<i>Pointing to screen.</i>]
A little idea quite of my own.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Charming. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>sincerely, deeply concerned</i>.]
Albert—you seem—you seem—very quiet—this
evening.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>sits</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Oh, no, not a bit. A little tired, that’s all. We
had rather a long motor drive and I didn’t get
much sleep last night— Please don’t think— [<i>Breaks
off as</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>shows signs of impatience</i>.]
I’m afraid our friend the secretary is getting restive.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What on earth is the matter?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I’m all of a twitter.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, do simmer down. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>, <i>who has
sat down</i>.] Surely you’re not going to stay for
this rehearsal?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> If you don’t mind.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Oh, I don’t mind. But you’ll be thoroughly
bored. A silly little French piece. You’ll be seeing
it after dinner. I should have thought once would
have been enough.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Well, as a matter of fact, Mr. Turai asked me
to stay and help out till he came. And I promised
him I would.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Just as you please. [<i>Very nervous.</i>] Can’t we
begin? Are the props here?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Nothing is ever missing when I am the property
man. There they all are—on the table.
[<i>Points to table.</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>picks up scarf and hat and
helps</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Takes book and letter.</i>] Those are yours.
[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>pockets the peach and the remaining
letter</i>.] Now then—let’s start. The Countess—that’s
me—discovered alone. Seated in chair,
reading book. [<i>Sits down.</i>] [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] You’re
not on yet. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>stalks off to the left</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Do we go on now?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Don’t ask so many questions. Yes, go on.
[<i>She reads book.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Reading from the script.</i>] Curtain rises on
a glorious garden. Period Louis the Fifteenth.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You don’t have to read <i>that</i>.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Doubtfully.</i>] I always <i>have</i>.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You only have to give the actors the spoken
lines.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Now, I never knew <i>that</i> before— Now, that’s
very interesting. [<i>He looks stupidly at script.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Coming down.</i>] What on earth’s the matter
now?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I’m afraid Mr. Mell is not much of a
prompter.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Taking script from</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span>.] It’s all right—let
<i>me</i> hold the book.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Simultaneously.</i>] No, no.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You mustn’t.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> What do you mean?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I won’t have it—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Why not?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>, <i>offended, sarcastically</i>.] No doubt
Miss Szabo means that it is beneath the dignity of
such an important person. Please give <i>me</i> the
book.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Do stop fussing. Can’t you see you make them
nervous.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Make <i>them</i> nervous? What about <i>my</i> nervousness?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I tell you <i>I’ll</i> hold the book. And you can do
it for the performance. Does <i>that</i> satisfy you?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Deeply offended.</i>] Oh, quite. Oh, perfectly—</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Now you’ve hurt the poor man’s
feelings. You’ve insulted him—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Madam, I’m a secretary. I spend all my time
receiving insults.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Oh?— Well, let’s begin. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.]
You’re off. [<i>Again</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>stalks to left</i>.] Countess
discovered seated in armchair, reading book.
[<i>Takes up book.</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>is wearing the brown
hat, gauntlets and carrying the riding whip</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Prompting.</i>] What a silly—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Speaking her lines.</i>] What a silly story.
[<i>Closes book.</i>] Just like all novels.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> What <i>can</i> I do—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Yawning.</i>] What <i>can</i> I do to kill the time?
The Count is always out riding. Paris seems very
far away amidst these sleepy fields of Normandy.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Hoof-beats heard off— [<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>imitates hoof-beats,
by beating his thighs with his hands</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Hark! I hear him coming— Can this be my
husband? Surely he went off on his horse to visit
our old tenant, honest Jacques Benoit.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>makes the hoof-beats louder and
louder</i>. <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>comes into the scene dramatically,
ominously, but his entrance is completely
ruined by</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>continuing the hoof-beats</i>.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</span>
<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>stamps his feet impatiently and
at last</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>stops</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> So, madame!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Why, what is the matter? Why do you frown,
my dear Count?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Why do I frown? That, madame, you will
learn—and speedily, as sure as my name is Count—Count— [<i>He can’t remember his name.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Prompting.</i>] Maurice du Veyrier—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> As sure as my name is Count Maurice du
Veyrier de la Grande Contumace Saint Emilion.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You frighten me, Maurice.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It is your guilty conscience that frightens
you, madame.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Traitress.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>starts and looks at him nervously</i>.]</p>
<p>[<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>rises</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p>Traitress! No doubt you supposed me a credulous
imbecile whom it was simple to hoodwink—</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>, <i>both in evening
dress from the right</i>. <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>confused
by their guilt, for the moment believe
that</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>is accusing them</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Very embarrassed.</i>] No doubt—you—I—</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Still prompting.</i>] You thought that any
story would do for me? You imagined that I was
fool enough to swallow anything——</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Coming down, horrified, thinking that</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>
<i>is making a scene</i>.] What!!!!!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Shhhh!— [<i>Goes on prompting.</i>] No doubt
you supposed me a credulous fool—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Relieved; he grasps the situation.</i>] O-oh!
[<i>Takes the script from him.</i>] Let <i>me</i> have that
script.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Why? [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.] Aren’t I prompting well?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Simultaneously.</i>] No.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Ruffled.</i>] Nothing like being frank.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Goes to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>and pats his shoulder</i>.] Don’t
take it to heart. Even <i>I</i> wasn’t good enough for
them.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Perhaps you’ll tell me where I went wrong?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t ask so many questions. [<i>Seats himself
in</i> <span class="smcap">Mell’s</span> <i>place</i>.] I’ll take on this job.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Everybody is so rude.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Looking at script.</i>] All right. From where
you stopped.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Glibly.</i>] Traitress, you have deceived me.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</span>
I have long had my suspicions. I have now in my
possession the proofs. No doubt you supposed me
a credulous imbecile whom it was simple to hoodwink.
You thought that any story would do for
me? You imagined that I was fool enough to
swallow anything. Let me tell you, madame, that
you are mistaken. For a long time I have suspected
that there was something behind all these rides of
yours with our neighbor the Marquis Jean François
Gilette de la Tour d’Argent. Day after day,
for hours at a time, you have made a practice of
riding with him on the road from Duvernois Sur
Saône to Saint Sulpice de la Grande Parmentière—and
slowly at that!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> It’s a lie. Who told you?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Silence, woman! The proofs are in my
pocket. Mon Dieu, is there no gratitude in this
world? When I married you, who were you? A
nobody. Your father, Brigadier-General Pierre
Jean Bourmond de la Seconde-Chaumière-Rambouillet,
fell in battle at Grande-Lagruyère Sur
Marne, and you eked out a scanty living as a
seamstress at your mother’s home in the village
of Saint Genevieve, in the Department of Seine
et Oise. So, madame! And then what happened?
<i>I</i> came. I gave you name, rank, and wealth
such as you had never dreamed of. You became
Madame La Countess du Veyrier de la Grande<span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</span>
Contumace Saint Emilion. I bestowed upon you
not only my estates in Pardubien-Grand-Amanoir,
but also my two castles in Challenges-Debicourt
de la Romanée and at Rivalieux-Quandamouzières
Sur Vantera-aux Alpes Maritimes. [<i>He stops exhausted.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t stop. What’s wrong? [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>takes
off his hat and gloves, puts the whip down on the
table, and, stepping out of character comes down
to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It’s these damned <i>French names</i>, they’re
perfectly frightful.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I don’t see what we can do about it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You surely don’t need them all?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> They’re in the script.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> But I’ll go mad trying to memorize them.
Titles with six hyphens in them and names of
places with a dozen ‘aux’ and ‘de la’s’ and ‘sur’s.’
And, damn it, they’re all in <i>my</i> part. [<i>Choking
with fury.</i>] It’s deadly. At least, let’s leave out
that second castle.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Coldly.</i>] My dear fellow, have you no sense
of dramatic construction? If he had given her
only one castle, the audience would think her perfectly
justified in deceiving him. If he had given<span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</span>
her three, they would look on him as a purse-proud
fool who didn’t deserve a faithful wife. No,
two is exactly the right number. You can’t beat
Sardou when it comes to technique. Go on please.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>goes up hopelessly and replaces his
hat and gloves and takes up the whip</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I made you a countess and a wealthy
woman. And what return do I get? You betray
me—yes, madame, betray me—with my best friend
and nearest neighbor, the Marquis Jean François
Gilette de la Tour d’Argent, lord of Perigord
des Champignons and Saint Sulpice de la Grand
Parmentière. [<i>He breaks off, and removes hat and
gloves as before.</i>] My God, it’s enough to give a
fellow apoplexy.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Surprised.</i>] I beg your pardon? That
doesn’t seem to be in the script.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Down to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>as before</i>.] I’m sorry. I
can’t help it. It’s these names.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, I’m always open to suggestions. What
would <i>you</i> like to call the gentleman?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Foche or Briand—or something short like
that.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Sarcastically.</i>] Perhaps—Vichy! Get on,
please. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>goes upstage more hopeless than
before</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Nervously.</i>] Oh, do let’s get on. Count, you
have said enough.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> So <i>he</i> seems to think.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I will not endure these shameful accusations.
You are insulting the woman who bears your
name.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Again taking off hat and gloves and puts
down the whip.</i>] It’s a damned shame.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What is?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I always have to say the whole infernal
thing from beginning to end, and she just says
“your name.”</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Coldly.</i>] We’re wasting time.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Another word, madame, and I produce the
proof.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Laughing.</i>] The proof? One is amused. One
smiles.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Takes stage and turns.</i>] A smile which I
will make to die upon your lips. Behold! The
proof! [<i>He fuddles in his coat-tail pocket from
which he belatedly takes the peach with a sinister
flourish.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>With insincere terror.</i>] Ah, gracious heaven!
The peach! [<i>Sits.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Lays peach on table.</i>] Yes, madame, the
peach. The first peach that ripened on the lovingly
cherished, early-blooming, richly bearing,
East Indian dwarf peach trees in my orchard at
Simarineux de la Pomme d’Api, making a triumphant
entry into the world days ahead of any
other peach in the whole of France. [<i>He turns and
glares at</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>resentfully</i>, <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>pays no attention</i>,
<i>so he resumes his part</i>.] You know what
a passionate fruit-grower I am. You know that I
have tended this peach from its first budding—cared
for it—watched over it—wrapped it about
with my love—kept a diary about it—and awaited
its ripening like the coming of a Messiah. And
what happens? This afternoon I go out riding.
I am proceeding at a gentle jog-trot—</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>imitates hoof-beats as before</i>. <span class="smcap">Almady</span>
<i>is incensed by his stupidity</i>. <span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>subsides
abashed, and</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>resumes</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p>I am proceeding at a gentle jog-trot from Duvernois
Sur Saône to Saint Sulpice de la Grand
Parmentière— [<i>He breaks off with an anguished
look at</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Coldly.</i>] Along the high road—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Along the high road. And whom should I
see there, tripping along, but Juliette—your
maid. I speak to her. She betrays embarrassment
at seeing me. She stammers and ties her apron-strings<span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</span>
in a knot. I ask her where she is going.
Terrified, she bursts into tears and whispers, ‘My
lady sent me to the Marquis Jean François Gilette
de la Tour d’Argent’—curse him!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Right. This time that <i>was</i> in the script.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Why, I ask the girl, did your mistress send
you to the Marquis? And then suddenly, happening
to look closer, I see that she is trying desperately
to hide a little parcel from me. I take it from
her, I open it, and what do I see? [<i>Points to
peach.</i>] That peach! The King of Peaches, the
apple of my eye—my pride and joy, my firstborn,
the supreme peach from the orchards of
Simarineux de la Pomme d’Api—the last word in
stoneless fruit which I have been guarding since
birth like a baby sister— And, as if this were not
enough, wrapped round that glorious specimen of
its kind, I discover a letter. [<i>He fuddles in his
inside coat-pocket, draws out a letter, sees it is
the wrong one, replaces it hastily, and draws forth
the proper one.</i>] This letter [<i>He reads.</i>] “My beloved.
This is the first peach that has ripened in
France this year. I send it to <i>you</i>. Eat it reverently.”
[<i>He holds the letter under her nose.</i>]
There!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Are you trying to make me smell it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I am. For even if you were shameless<span class="pagenum" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</span>
enough to deny your writing you cannot deny
your perfume. Or are you proposing to deny it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Ha! Then you admit it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> <i>You</i> sent him this peach?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Again takes off his hat and gloves.</i> <i>To</i>
<span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] It’s simply rank injustice. I’ve got to
say yard-long speeches at the top of my voice,
and all her part consists of is little exclamations
like ‘oh!’ ‘no!’ and ‘yes!’</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes—I noticed that myself. These short crisp
speeches are characteristic of Sardou’s women! It
can’t be helped. Go on, please.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Goes back, puts on hat and gloves, more
miserable than ever.</i>] So! You accept from me
everything—love, name, rank, riches, estates—<i>two</i>
castles—and then you go about the place
sending my most cherished fruit to your lover!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Rises, tragically.</i>] No.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You have the effrontery to pretend that the
Marquis is <i>not</i> your lover?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You mean he is?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You mean he is <i>not</i>?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Triumphantly.</i>] Yes.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>With a theatrical laugh.</i>] A likely story.
Madame, I am a fruit-grower, the leading amateur
horticulturist in France and President of the
Paris Peach Club. I know—I say, I <i>know</i>—that
one does not give fruit like this save where one
has first given—the heart. Madame, I despise you.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You consider conduct like mine despicable?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I do.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Good! Then I have one little question to ask
you. In the early Spring of this year there ripened
in your orchard the first crop of white-heart
cherries. To whom did you send those cherries?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Turns away embarrassed.</i>] To my mother.
The Dowager Countess du Veyrier de la Grande
Contumace Saint Emilion.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Indeed? To your mother? Then permit me
to show you something. You are not the only one
who has discovered an interesting letter. [<i>Takes
letter from table.</i>] Smell that! Do you recognize
the perfume? [<i>Holds it under his nose.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] What a <i>situation</i>! Sardou at his
best. There’s no one like him.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> The perfume is that of Mademoiselle Emilienne,
première danseuse at the Folies Bergères,
whom you honor with your friendship and protection.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> How—how did you get this?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Never mind. Always remember letters are like
sped arrows. You never can tell where they are
going to drop.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Applauds vigorously, to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] An epigram.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Read it, please.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Reading.</i>] “My dearest. This morning
that doddering old idiot of a count of mine—”</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You notice how your divinity writes of you?
Go on!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Reading.</i>] —“that doddering old idiot of
a count of mine sent me a basket of cherries. Did
I tell you he was a famous fruit grower? He says
these are the first cherries that have ripened in
France this year and he sends them to me as a
token of his love. Drop in this evening, darling,
and we’ll eat the old fool’s cherries together. Your<span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</span>
loving Emilienne, P. S. Ring twice as usual!” [<i>He
sobs.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You see, what you do to me, I do to you. An
eye for an eye, a <i>tooth for a tooth</i>, a peach for a
cherry.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Brokenly.</i>] Yes. It’s true.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> And now, leave my garden. This very afternoon
I pack my boxes and go back to my mother.
And if you will question my maid you will find
that I told her to hang about till you came by—to
blush and stammer—and finally to give you the
letter <i>and</i> the peach. [<i>She breaks into stage
laughter.</i>] Ha, ha, ha! Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Well, I must face it. I’ve lost.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You’ve lost <i>me</i>.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Kneeling.</i>] Yvonne! Don’t say that. See!
I beg your forgiveness on my knees ... overlook
this one false step.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> The idea! A count, and an <i>elderly</i> count—grovelling
like that. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>gets up and turns
away</i>.] All the same, you have touched me. So I
will forgive you. But you are not to get off without
punishment. Firstly, I forbid you to eat this
peach.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> My God! Not that!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Firmly.</i>] Yes.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> So be it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Secondly, you will permit me to go to Paris
alone—</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Despairingly.</i>] Yvonne!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Not a word. Either you trust me or you do
not! If you <i>do</i>, I will return. If <i>not</i>, <i>not</i>.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Oh, heavens! And how long do you expect
to stay in Paris?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> A week. [<i>Short pause.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Suddenly bursting out.</i>] No! I can’t live
without you. I worship you. I adore you. I love
you as the church steeple loves the cloud that settles
on its summit, only to be wafted away by the
first passing breeze. I can’t live without you. Not
a week, not a day. Not an hour.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Just words. [<i>At the word “church steeple”</i>
<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>have exchanged a glance of
utter astonishment</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Rises.</i>] But ... but ... but.... Just
one moment.... <i>What</i> was that you said?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I beg your pardon?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Now, listen, <i>please</i>. We can’t have these interruptions.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</span>
Don’t pull them up the moment they’ve
got nicely into the swing of it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I can’t wait to see how it all ends. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.]
Will she leave him? Or will the memory of their
past love prove too strong?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Goes to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>—<i>Aside to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] This is
devilish queer.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Quiet, quiet, please. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] All right.
Go on. Better go back to “Not a week! Not a day!
Not an hour!”</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> <i>Not a week! Not a day! Not an hour!</i></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Just words.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It’s the truth. I’m crazy about you. And
you—you have used me up and squeezed me like
a lemon, and now you want to throw me away.
[<i>At the word “lemon”</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>again
exchange glances</i>. <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>gets up, deeply agitated</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Sandor....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What is it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] You’ll excuse
me? I have something very urgent to say to Mr.
Turai. [<i>He crosses to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and drags him over
to the corner below the fireplace</i>.] Do you hear
what they’re saying?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Feigning non-comprehension.</i>] How do you
mean, do I hear what they’re saying?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I mean ... didn’t those last lines sound
familiar to you?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s right. Now you mention it. I did notice
something, only I thought it was my fancy.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Come here. [<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>tries to
become a part of the whispered conference, but</i>
<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>waves him away, and he withdraws upstage
disconsolate</i>.] [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] I give you my word,
Sandor—those lines were syllable for syllable the
ones we heard last night through the wall.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Looking at script.</i>] By Jove, you’re right....
This is uncanny.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Go on with the rehearsal, or they will be
suspecting something. I want to hear some more.
[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>takes hold of</i> <span class="smcap">Adam’s</span> <i>arm</i>. <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>is very
excited. Both listen intently.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, let’s get on. “Now you want to throw me
away.”</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I don’t want to throw you away, silly, Oh,
come on, then. Come here and let me kiss that
beautiful classic brow. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>goes to her</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Shouting out.</i>] Great Heavens!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Jumping.</i>] What’s the matter?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Whispering.</i>] Listen, you two. They’re
saying word for word what we heard them say last
night. Do you grasp now what they were doing
last night? <i>Rehearsing!</i> Simply going through
their lines.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] I must admit ... this has
come upon me as a complete surprise.... Really,
I’m quite shaken.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Imitate <i>me</i>. If I can be perfectly calm, you
can.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Pointing at</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] And he never recognized
it!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Mr. Turai! What’s going on?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Yes. What’s all the discussion about?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] Well, it’s like this. Mansky
says—and I’m bound to say I agree with him—that
for the actual performance to-night you will
have to dig up a classic brow from somewhere.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Dig up a classic brow?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You see, it’s rather awkward. The script says
... “Kiss that beautiful classic brow.”</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Well?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, you’ll have to get one somewhere.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] You think my own would not
be convincing?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> My God, no!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It has been so described.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> In this play, yes. But, if you’ll pardon my
saying so, you wouldn’t suggest that any woman
of taste could say such a thing in <i>real</i> life?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] Very good. No doubt the property
man will be able to supply me with a face.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>is appalled at the prospect of having
to get a “face” but he dutifully makes a notation
of it in his little book</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh—my dear fellow. [<i>All go back to places.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Impatiently.</i>] We’re wasting time. Let’s get
on.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sh! Sh! We’ve only a few minutes more.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> No more interruptions.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Thank God!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Where were we? Oh, yes. Come here and let
me kiss that beautiful classic brow. [<i>Kisses him
on forehead.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> That’s not a kiss. That’s a tip.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Surely that line is a trifle vulgar.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It’s vulgar because it’s spoken by a vulgar
man.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> The speaker is a count.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> But a dull-witted bounder, for all that.
He’s the sort of man who <i>would</i> say things like
that. Don’t you start trying to teach Sardou how
to write dialogue.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Furious.</i>] For God’s sake, are we going
to rehearse?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes—go on, please.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> That’s not a kiss. That’s a tip.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Don’t shout like that.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I will shout. I’m a squeezed lemon. That’s
what I am—a lemon. The whole world shall know
I’m a lemon. [<i>Falls sobbing at her feet.</i>]</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>whispers something to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.
<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>smiles happily and whispers back. They
shake hands.</i>]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Please—please— What’s the matter?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Nothing. I was merely saying to Adam
that I think that word “<i>lemon</i>” is all wrong.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I think it’s excellent. Absolutely in character.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</span>
The speaker is a big lemon-and-peach man from
Saint Sulpice de la Grande Parmentière, and he
naturally goes to the orchard for his similes. Try
to realize that he’s practically an imbecile with
virtually no vocabulary.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>looks up from</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>lap and
registers indignation</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p>[<i>Prompting.</i>] ‘Please, please’— [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.]
From you, my dear. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] You’re crying.
[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>sobs</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Please, please. Don’t cry. I can’t bear it.
You know how fond I am of you. [<i>She goes to
table where peach is.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Those nights of love—those flaming, wonderful
nights! Have you forgotten them so completely?
[<i>He stands up, and starts to touch
the peach.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Stop! Control yourself.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Gazing at peach.</i>] You ask me to control
myself—when I look at <i>that</i>? At that perfect
shape. The rose flush of that skin. [<i>Starts to
touch peach.</i>] Just to stroke it....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Hands off.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Snatching up the peach, holds it in one
hand and with the other strokes it voluptuously.</i>]<span class="pagenum" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</span>
My God! How round it is! How smooth, how velvety—and
how fragrant! [<i>Raises it to his mouth.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You mustn’t bite it. [<i>She snatches his hand.</i>]</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>gives a shriek and goes into fits
of laughter</i>. <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>stretches his arms out to</i>
<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and roars</i>. <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>slaps</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>on
the back</i>, <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>laughing uninterruptedly</i>.
<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>turns away furiously</i>. <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>turns
away, ashamed</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Putting his arm around</i> <span class="smcap">Adam’s</span> <i>shoulder</i>,
<i>still laughing</i>.] Heavens! What fools we’ve been!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Haven’t we?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Eagerly.</i>] Won’t you tell me the joke?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> You wouldn’t understand.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What are you two so amused about?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Curtly.</i>] Come, come. We’re wasting time.
Let’s get on.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Yes, get on. I want to hear this. Round,
smooth, velvety and fragrant.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> And you mustn’t bite.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You mustn’t bite it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I must—I am so hungry.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</span></p><div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>go on laughing</i>. <span class="smcap">Mell</span>
<i>laughs too, but with a puzzled look, as much
as to say “I’m joining in, but I really don’t
understand.”</i>]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Sits.</i>] Ah well! I see I am nothing to you
any more.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Oh, for goodness sake! I swear that no man— [<i>Breaks
off, unable to go on.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Prompting.</i>] No man who has ever come
into my life ...</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> ... has meant so much to me as you. From
the top of your head to the soles of your feet you
are a <i>man</i>.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I think we might cut that last bit.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Why?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, I mean to say.... A <i>little</i> too <i>explicit</i>,
don’t you think? Rather too obvious a sexual
implication. A wee bit <i>coarse</i>, perhaps, yes?
We must consider the feelings of the audience.
[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span>.] Will there be any young girls there
to-night?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Oh, yes, indeed.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then we must cut it. They may bring their
parents. Instead suppose we say—“I love you,
even though you <i>are</i> only a poor imitation of a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</span>
man.” [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>registers rage</i>.] Go on. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.]
“My God! I suffer....”</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] My God! I suffer like a sick
horse. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] Look here, that ought to come
out.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> How could anyone speak of himself so vulgarly?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We went into all that just now. Just what a
cattle-raiser <i>would</i> say.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> But he’s a fruit-raiser!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Cattle, too. Cattle as a side line.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Don’t look so pathetic.... Well, come here.
Kiss me. You donkey.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Furiously to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] It’s too much....
Horse <i>and</i> donkey.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Aside to</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] This is where I went out.
How funny it seems now.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Looks at script.</i>] We’re getting near the
end now. They kiss here. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>starts to kiss</i>
<span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Pushing him away.</i>] Oh, never mind the
kiss. Kiss over.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Offended.</i>] Just as you please. I want
you to remember that kiss for ever.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Your kiss is revolting to me.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Despairingly—To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] Does that
stay in?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> My dear fellow, we can’t cut everything.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> But a line like that’s so damned personal.
The audience will loathe me.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> It beats me why on earth you ever chose a
part like this.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>looks toward</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>in mute appeal,
but</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>is adamant and metes out no
mercy</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With subtle mockery.</i>] Yes. It’s no business
of mine, but I must say I can’t understand that,
either. It doesn’t help to cut lines here and there.
It’s the whole part. The character’s a bounder and
a fool.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> The author must have loathed this fellow.
[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] You notice that, Sandor, don’t you?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Ironically.</i>] Of course, I noticed it.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Do let’s get to the end. [<i>Rises.</i>] Mademoiselle
Emilienne describes you as an old fool. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span>
<i>glares</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Prompting.</i>] And so I am.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> And so I am, Yvonne. [<i>Furious.</i>] So I am.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> You certainly are.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Sincerely.</i>] It’s disgusting that a man of
your age should persecute a woman, and by playing
on her sense of gratitude seek to obtain a
love which she would never bestow as a free gift.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Crossing down to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and whispering</i>.]
Uncle Sandor—will you give me your word of
honor that Ilona shall never know how shamefully
I suspected her?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t be childish.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> If ever she found out—she’d never look at me
again.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’ll never tell her.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Please don’t interrupt any more.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Bows elaborately and says with meaning.</i>]
Forgive me. [<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>accepts his apology with an
affectionate gesture, and when his back is turned
it is she who is mutely asking his forgiveness</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Go on!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Think of your wife. Think of your children.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Turns away.</i>] My children!</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What would your son say? Your son, a
highly respected colonel in the Dragoons.</p>
<div class="blockquot">
<p>[<i>This is too much. The Actor in</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>is crushed.
He comes down to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>brokenly and speaks
supplicatingly</i>.]</p>
</div>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Mr. Turai.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Amiably.</i>] Yes?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It’s just a suggestion, but couldn’t we say
lieutenant there?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’m afraid not. You see it was “general” in
the text.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Wildly.</i>] My son a general?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] How far back <i>can</i> I go?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> At the most a major.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Quickly.</i>] Very well. Your son, a highly respected
major in the Dragoons.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You are right, Yvonne. The shock would
kill him. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>breaks off, evidently unwilling
to speak his next line. But</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>prompts
him relentlessly</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> A ridiculous old petticoat-chaser.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Speaking the lines almost sotto voce in<span class="pagenum" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</span>
a casual offhand manner.</i>] A ridiculous old petticoat-chaser,
that’s what I am. Bah!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, come, Mr. Almady. Not so tamely, please.
More <i>life</i>. Once more.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Comes down to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and says the line
with petulance and irritation</i>.] A ridiculous old
petticoat-chaser, that’s what I am. Bah!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Relentlessly.</i>] Still not quite strong enough.
More gusto. More sincerity.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Shouts the line to relieve his fury.</i>] <span class="allsmcap">A RIDICULOUS
OLD PETTICOAT-CHASER, THAT’S WHAT
I AM. BAH!</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Coldly.</i>] Once more, please.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Shouting to the full limit of his vocal
chords in wild desperation.</i>] A RIDICULOUS
OLD PETTICOAT-CHASER, THAT’S WHAT
I AM. BAH!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With approval.</i>] Fine—<i>that’s</i> it. Now read
it that way at the performance. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>returns
upstage completely crushed and beaten</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Genuinely.</i>] I promise you I shall never
again make myself obnoxious to this woman who
loves another man and is sick and tired of me.
Never, never again.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Briskly.</i>] Never again?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Briskly.</i>] Never again.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Then, Maurice, I will be generous. I will not
go to Paris, and you may eat the peach.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Hurls himself at the peach.</i>] My God! At
last! [<i>Gnaws the peach.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Rising.</i>] Curtain.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> The end?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The end.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> He really should have given his wife the
peach. That would have made a much prettier
finish.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, my dear fellow! Where’s your sense of
character? The man’s selfish to the core. He’d
never give his wife peaches.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> A very unsympathetic part. Still, he played
it well.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It fitted him.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Dancing about in anguish, pointing to</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>,
<i>incoherent with agitation</i>.] Oh! Oh!</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What’s the matter with you?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> He’s eating the peach! He’s eating the peach!
I never dreamed he was going to <i>eat</i> the peach. I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</span>
shall have to dash out and get another. [<i>He
rushes off to the hall.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Takes off scarf. To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>, <i>who stands overcome
with happiness</i>.] Well, how do you like me in
this part?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Oh, darling, you were wonderful, simply wonderful.
And, if you want to know what I think—this
little comedy is worth all Shakespeare put
together. [<i>He kisses her hands.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Oh, no, no, no. The thing dates terribly.
When did Sardou write it?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I don’t know. What period Sardou is this,
Mr. Almady?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I should imagine it was his last work.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Then he must have been a very old man at
the time. It’s terrible. He probably wrote it just
before he died.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Or just after. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.] Can I have a
minute? Just a few things I’d like to tell you
about your part.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes, yes, I shall be very grateful. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>
<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Go along. We shan’t be a moment.
[<i>They go up the stairs at right.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> What beats me is why an actor who has
always played heroes picked a part like that for
himself. He must be terribly fond of acting.
[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>go out at right</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>, <i>who is sitting dejectedly at
left</i>.] You seem upset.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Miserably.</i>] Not at all. [<i>He glares at</i>
<span class="smcap">Turai</span>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> So you’ve decided to take the midnight express
directly after the performance?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Yes.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I think you’re wise. A good, fruity train,
highly spoken of by connoisseurs. Well, just to
show you the sort of fellows we Turais are, I’ll
let you off the major. Ilona, you can say lieutenant.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Even lieutenant seems a little....</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good God! We can’t make him a drummer
boy.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Picks up part.</i>] Very well. So be it. I suppose
I ought to be thankful for small mercies.
[<i>Goes toward door to hall.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Where are you off to?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I’m going to have another go at those infernal
French names. But in spite of everything—thank
you. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>bows and then goes out</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Going to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and embracing him</i>.] Sandor,
you’re an angel. Was it awfully difficult,
writing that play?</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, no. That damned peach stumped me for
a while. Smooth, round, velvety and fragrant, and
you mustn’t bite. It wasn’t easy to get round that.
Believe me, there are very few things in this world
that are round, smooth, velvety—and respectable.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Turns head away.</i>] Oh—he was talking
about my shoulder.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With delicate irony and gazing at her shoulder,
then kissing it.</i>] Really? I thought it was
your forehead.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You’re an old devil—that’s what you are.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Just what I expected. Now that it’s all over,
everybody else is a gentleman and I’m an old
devil. But somehow I don’t think I am. My little
Ilona, I have saved a young man a bad heartache.
It’s a negative kindness, but is there a positive
one that’s better? Yes, on the whole, I think
I’m fairly well satisfied with myself. And there’s<span class="pagenum" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</span>
a little old woman looking at me from somewhere—probably
from hell—and her eyes seem to be
twinkling, as if she was satisfied, too. It’s unfortunate,
that you won’t have me always on hand
to.... [<i>Re-enter</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>On the landing, to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Poor old Turai’s
feeling awfully sore about all this. He had
a wonderful scheme for bringing you two together,
based on what he calls psychology. And now he’s
furious because that won’t be needed. [<i>Enter</i>
<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>from hall</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Sh! Ilona will hear you. Let’s drop the subject.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> [<i>Standing at center.</i>] Dinner is
served. [<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>meets</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>at center. They embrace
and kiss lovingly and go out to the hall arm
in arm.</i>]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>With self-satisfaction to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] So, my
friend, it comes down to this. There are many
clever writers, but the most successful of them all
is still old man life himself.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s because he doesn’t have to collaborate
with you. [<i>He takes</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky’s</span> <i>arm. As he passes</i>
<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>he stops and looks at him</i>.]</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> [<i>Smiling.</i>] Dwornitschek, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Still Dwornitschek—Thank you.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</span></p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p>
<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no, my dear Dwornitschek, thank YOU.
[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>go out</i>.]</p>
<p class="ph4">THE CURTAIN FALLS</p>
<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
<div class="chapter">
<div class="tnote">
<h2 class="nobreak" id="Transcribers_note">Transcriber’s note</h2>
<p>Minor punctuation errors have been changed without notice. Inconsistencies in
hyphenation have been standardized.</p>
<p>Other spelling has been retained as originally published except
for the changes below.</p>
<table class="autotable">
<tr>
<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_35">35</a>: “Everyday I’ve been”</td>
<td class="tdl">“Every day I’ve been”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_62">62</a>: “<span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.]”</td>
<td class="tdl">“<span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.]”</td>
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<tr>
<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_74">74</a>: “<span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> My God!”</td>
<td class="tdl">“<span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> My God!”</td>
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<tr>
<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_111">111</a>: “put the whip down on the”</td>
<td class="tdl">“puts the whip down on the”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_115">115</a>: “peace that has ripened”</td>
<td class="tdl">“peach that has ripened”</td>
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<tr>
<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_132">132</a>: “This is to much.”</td>
<td class="tdl">“This is too much.”</td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>
</div>
<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75451 ***</div>
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