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diff --git a/75130-0.txt b/75130-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..38c0516 --- /dev/null +++ b/75130-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4633 @@ + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75130 *** + +=Transcriber’s Note:= The chapter numbering in this book is as printed: +there is no Chapter VIII and no Chapter XII. + + + + + +TEX + + + + +[Illustration: Alexander Teixeira de Mattos] + + + + + TEX + + A CHAPTER IN THE LIFE + OF + + ALEXANDER TEIXEIRA DE MATTOS + + BY + STEPHEN McKENNA + + [Illustration] + + NEW YORK + DODD, MEAD AND COMPANY + 1922 + + COPYRIGHT, 1922, + BY DODD, MEAD AND COMPANY, INC. + + Printed in U.S.A. + + VAIL-BALLOU COMPANY + Binghamton and New York + + + + + To + ALFRED SUTRO + +I dedicate to you this slight tribute to the memory of our friend. You +were the luckier, in knowing him the longer. I shall be more than content +if you find, in reading this book, as I found in reading his letters +again, that he has returned to us even for a moment and that a whim of +his language or an echo of his laughter has recreated the triple alliance +which he founded. + + + + +I trust also you may be long without finding out the devil that there +is in a bereavement. After love it is the one great surprise that life +preserves for us. Now I don’t think I can be astonished any more. + + ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON: _Letters_. + + + + +TEX + + + + +Alexander Teixeira de Mattos + + + + +I + + +“_A great translator_,” one friend wrote of Teixeira, “_is far more rare +than a great author._” + +Judged by the quality and volume of his work, by the range of foreign +languages from which he translated and by the perfection of the English +in which he rendered them, Teixeira was incontestably the greatest +translator of his time. Throughout Great Britain and the United States +his name has long been held in honour by all who have watched, cheering, +as the literature of France and Belgium, of Germany and the Netherlands, +of Denmark and Norway strode along the broad viaduct which his labours +had, in great part, established. + +Of the man, apart from his name, little has been made public. His love +of laughing at himself might prompt him to say: “When you write my +_Life and Letters_ ...”; but his modesty and his humour would have been +perturbed in equal measure by the vision of a solemn biography and a +low-voiced press. “I was a little bit underpraised before,” he once +confessed; “I’m being a little bit overpraised now.” Since the best of +himself went impartially into all that he wrote, his conscience could +never be haunted by the recollection of shoddy workmanship, even in the +days before he had a reputation to jeopardize; nor, when he had won +recognition, could his head be turned by the announcement that he had +created a masterpiece. If he enjoyed the consciousness of having filled +the English treasury with the literary spoils of six countries, he +dissembled his enjoyment. In so far as he wished to be remembered at all, +it was not as a man of letters, but as a friend, a connoisseur of life, +a man of sympathy unaging and zest unstaled, a lover of simple jests, a +laughing philosopher. Of their charity, he wished those who loved him to +have masses said for the repose of his soul; he would have been tortured +by the thought that, in life or death, he had brought unhappiness to +any one or that, dead or living, he had prompted any one to discuss him +with pomposity. “Are you not being a little solemn?” was a question that +alternated with the advice: “Cultivate a pococurantist attitude to life.” + +“If there had been no _Alice in Wonderland_,” said another friend, “it +would have been necessary for Tex to create her.” + +Those who knew the translator of Fabre and Ewald, of Maeterlinck and +Couperus only by his awe-inspiring name must detect in this a hint that +Alexander Teixeira de Mattos had a lighter side to his nature; the +suspicion can best be established or laid by the evidence of his own +letters. + +The present volume is an attempt to sketch the man in outline for those +readers who have recognized his talent in scholarship without guessing +his genius for friendship. “The apostles are not all dead,” he wrote, +in criticism of the legends that were growing up around the men of the +nineties; “many of them are your living contemporaries; you could, if you +like, receive at first hand their memories of their dead fellows.” ... It +is the purpose of this sketch to present one ‘apostle’ as he revealed +himself to one of his disciples. A biography and bibliography will be +found in the appropriate works of reference. Only a single chapter has +been attempted here; of those who knew him during the nineties, which +he loved so well and of which he preserved the tradition so faithfully, +perhaps one will write that earlier chapter and describe Teixeira in the +position which he took up on their outskirts. And one better qualified +than the present writer should paint this sphinx of the bridge-table, +with his perversity of declaration and his brilliance of play. “You have +made your contract,” admitted a friend who was partnering him for the +first time; “but ... but ... but _why_ that declaration?” “I wanted to +see your expression,” answered Teixeira with the complacency of a man +who did not greatly mind whether he won or lost, but abominated a dull +game. Those who knew him all his life may feel, with the writer, that the +last half-dozen years constitute, naturally and dramatically, a chapter +by themselves. They are the period of his literary recognition and, +unhappily, of his physical decline; of his emergence from seclusion; of +his first public services and his last private friendships. + +By 1914 Teixeira stood in the forefront of English translators; and, +through his labours, translation had won a place in the forefront of +English literature. Almost simultaneously with the outbreak of war, +he was attacked by the heart-affection that ultimately killed him; +and the record of this period is the record of an invalid. Ill-health +notwithstanding, he offered his energy and ability to the country of his +adoption; and, in an emergency war-department largely staffed by men of +letters, the most retiring of them all became enmeshed in the machinery +of government. From his marriage until the war, Teixeira had lived an +almost monastic life, only relaxing his rule of solitary work in favour +of the bridge-table. Once set in the midst of appreciative friends, +this sham recluse found himself entertaining and being entertained, +joining new clubs, indulging his old inscrutable sociability and almost +overcoming his former shyness. + +For three-and-a-half out of these last seven years, one of Teixeira’s +colleagues worked with him almost daily at the same table in the same +room of the same department. The rare separations due to leave or illness +were countered by an almost daily correspondence, conducted in the spirit +of an intimate and elaborate game; and, when the work of the department +ended, the letters—sometimes interrupted by a diary or suspended for a +meeting—kept the intimacy unbroken. + +So written, they are as personal, as discursive and—to a stranger—as full +of allusion as the long-sustained conversation of two friends. It is to +be hoped that, in their present form, they are at least not obscure; of +these, and of all, letters it must not be forgotten that the writer was +not counting his words for a telegram nor selecting his subjects for +later publication. + +From his half of the correspondence—in a life untouched by +drama—Teixeira’s personality may be left to reconstruct itself. Not every +side of his character is revealed, for an interchange conducted primarily +as a game afforded him few opportunities of exhibiting his serene +philosophy and meditative bent. The absence of all calculation from his +mind—a part of his refusal to grow up—may, for want of counter-availing +ballast, be interpreted as flippancy. And, as the man was greater than +the word he wrote and the word he translated, his letters have to be +supplied by imagination with some of the radiance which he shed over +preposterous story and trivial jest. Charm, which is so hard to analyse +in the living, is yet harder to recapture from the dead; but, if the +record of a single friendship can suggest loyalty, courage, generosity +and tenderness, if a whimsical turn of phrase can indicate humour, +patience and an infinite capacity for providing and receiving enjoyment, +Teixeira’s letters will preserve, for those who did not know him, the +fragrance of spirit recognized and remembered by all who did. + + + + +II + + +In the autumn of 1914 a censorship department was improvised in the +office of the National Service League. A press-gang of two, working the +clubs of London and the colleges of Oxford, established the nucleus of +a staff; and the first recruits were given, as their earliest duty, the +task of bringing in more recruits. As the department had been formed to +examine the commercial correspondence of neutrals and enemies, the first +qualification of a candidate was a knowledge of languages; and, in the +preliminary search for recruits, Alfred Sutro convinced the friend who +had succeeded him in translating Maeterlinck that a man who was equally +at home in English, French, German, Flemish, Dutch and Danish, with +a smattering of ecclesiastical Latin, was too valuable to be spared. +Teixeira joined the growing brotherhood of lawyers, dons and business +men in Palace Street, Westminster, advising on intercepted letters and +cables, curtailing the activities of traders in contraband, assimilating +the procedure of a government department and being paid stealthily each +week, like a member of some criminal association, with a furtive bundle +of notes. + +It was his first experience of the public service, almost his only taste +of responsibility; and it marked the end of the cloistered life. Though +he brought to his new work a varied knowledge of affairs, Teixeira had +participated but little in them since his marriage in 1900. The friends +of his youth, when he was living in the Temple,—John Gray and Ernest +Dowson, William Wilde (whose widow he married) and William Campbell,—such +acquaintances as Oscar Wilde and Max Beerbohm, Robert Ross and Bernard +Shaw, Leonard Smithers and Frank Harris, were for the most part scattered +or dead; and, though he kept touch with J. T. Grein, Edgar Jepson, Alfred +Sutro and a few more, he seemed at this time, after Campbell’s death, to +lack opportunity and inclination for making new friends. + +His gregarious years, and the varied experience which they brought, +belonged to an earlier period. Coming from Amsterdam to London in 1874 +at the age of nine, the son of a Dutch father and an English mother, +Teixeira[1] placed himself under instruction with Monsignor Capel and +was received into the Holy Roman Catholic Church. In blood, faith and +nationality, the Dutch Protestant of Portuguese-Jewish extraction had +thus passed through many vicissitudes before he married an Irish wife, +became a British citizen and died a Catholic. Traces of the Jew survived +in his appearance; of the Dutchman in his speech; and his intellectual +and racial mixed ancestry was betrayed by a cosmopolitan outlook. +Ignorant of many prejudices that are the native Briton’s birthright, he +remained ever aloof from the passions of British thought and speech. If +he respected, at least he could not share the conventional enthusiasms +nor associate himself with the conventional judgements of his new +countrymen. He wrote of his neighbours among whom he had lived for +more than forty years, with an unaffected sense of remoteness, as “the +English”; after his naturalization, he was fond of talking, tongue +in cheek, about what “we English” thought and did; but, in the last +analysis, he embodied too many various strains to favour any single +nationality. + +After being educated at the Kensington Catholic Public School and at +Beaumont, Teixeira worked for some time in the City and was rescued for +literature by J. T. Grein, who made him secretary of the Independent +Theatre. By his work as a translator and as the London correspondent of a +Dutch paper, he lived precariously until his renderings of Maeterlinck, +whose official translator he became with _The Double Garden_, called +public attention to a new quality of scholarship. Though he flirted with +journalism, as editor of _Dramatic Opinions_ and of _The Candid Friend_, +and with publishing, in connection with Leonard Smithers, translation +was the business of his life until he entered government service. He is +best known for his version of Fabre’s natural history, which he lived +to complete and which he himself regarded as his greatest achievement, +for the later plays and essays of Maeterlinck, for the novels and stories +of Ewald and for the novels of Couperus. These, however, formed only a +part of his output; and his bibliography includes the names of Zola, +Châteaubriand, de Tocqueville, President Kruger, Maurice Leblanc, Madame +Leblanc, Streuvels and many more. One work alone ran to more than a +million words; and he married on a commission to translate what he called +“the longest book in any language”. + +The improvised censorship was not long suffered to function unmolested. +The home secretary, learning that his majesty’s mails were being opened +without due authority, warned the unorthodox censors that they were +incurring a heavy fine for each offence and advised them to regularize +their position. Simultaneously, the Customs were thrown into difficulty +and confusion,[2] by the proclamation of the king in council, forbidding +all trade with the enemy: in the absence of records, investigation and an +intelligence department, it was impossible to say whether goods cleared +from London would ultimately reach enemy destination; and the censors who +were watching the cable and wireless operations of Dutch and Scandinavian +importers seemed the natural advisers to approach. At this point the +embryonic department, which had risen from the ashes of the National +Service League, joined with a licensing delegation from the Customs to +form the War Trade Department and Trade Clearing House. + +Drifting about Westminster from Palace Street to Central Buildings, from +Central Buildings to Broadway House and from Broadway House to Lake +Buildings, St. James’ Park, the War Trade Intelligence Department, as it +came to be called, was made the advisory body to the Blockade Department +of the Foreign Office, with Lord Robert Cecil as its parliamentary +chief, Sir Henry Penson, of Worcester College, as its chairman, and H. +W. C. Davis, of Balliol, as its deputy-chairman. Teixeira, as the head +of the Intelligence Section, controlled the supply of advice on the +export of “prohibited commodities” to neutral countries; as a member +of the Advisory Board, he came later to share in responsibility for +the department as a whole. Among his colleagues, not already named, +were “Freddie” Browning, the first organizer of the department, O. +R. A. Simpkin, now Public Trustee, H. B. Betterton, now a member of +parliament, Michael Sadleir, the novelist, R. S. Rait, the Scottish +Historiographer-Royal, John Palmer, the dramatic critic, and G. L. +Bickersteth, the translator of Carducci. + +When the department came to an end, Teixeira resumed his interrupted task +of translation, which had, indeed, never been wholly abandoned; his daily +programme during the war was to work at home from 5.0 a.m. till 8.0 a.m. +and in his department from 10.0 a.m. till 6.0 p.m. or 7.0 p.m., then to +play bridge for an hour at the Cleveland Club, returning home in time for +a light dinner and an early bed.[3] + +Leisure, when at last it came to him, was not to be long enjoyed: +early in 1920, a further break in health compelled him to undertake +a rest-cure, first at Crowborough and then in the Isle of Wight. He +returned to Chelsea in the spring of 1921 and spent the summer and +autumn working in London or staying with friends in the country, to all +appearances better than he had been for some years, though in play and +work alike he had now to walk circumspectly. Towards the end of the year +he went to Cornwall for the winter and collapsed from _angina pectoris_ +on 5 December 1921. + +In a life of nearly fifty-seven years Teixeira escaped almost everything +that could be considered spectacular. Happy in the devotion of his wife +and the love of his friends, unshaken in the faith which he had embraced +and untroubled by the misgivings and melancholy that assail a temperament +less serene, he faced the world with a manner of gentle understanding +and a philosophy of almost universal toleration. His only child—a +boy—died within a few hours of birth; Teixeira was troubled for years by +ill-health; he was never rich and seldom even assured of a comfortable +income. Nevertheless his temper or faith gave him power to extract more +amusement from his sufferings than most men derive from the plentitude +of health and fortune. Of a malady new even to his experience he writes: +“Is death imminent? Why do I always have the rarer disorders?” He loved +life to the end—the world was always “God’s dear world” to him—; to the +end, he, who had known so many of the world’s waifs, continued forbearing +to all but the censorious. “I was taught very early in life,” he writes, +“to make every allowance for men of any genius, whereas you look for a +public-school attitude towards all and sundry.... You see, if one cared +to take the pains, one could make you detest pretty well everybody you +know and like. For everybody has a mean, petty, shabby, cowardly side to +him; and one had only to tell you of what the man in question chooses to +keep concealed.” ... + +“Life,” said Samuel Butler, “is like playing a violin solo in public +and learning the instrument as one goes on.” Those who met Teixeira +only in his later years must have felt that he was born a master of his +instrument; it is not to be imagined that there could ever have been a +time when he was ignorant of the grace, the urbanity, the consideration +and the gusto that mark off the artist in life from his fellows. + + + + +III + + +Though his letters contain scattered references to the principles which +he followed in translation, Teixeira could never be persuaded to publish +his complete and considered theory. His excuse was that he had never +been able to write more than eight hundred words of original matter, a +disability that once threatened him with disaster when he was invited +to lecture on the science and art of bridge to the members of a club +formed for mutual improvement and the pursuit of learning. After being +entertained at a fortifying banquet, Teixeira delivered his eight-hundred +words. As, at the end of the two and three-quarter minutes which his +reading occupied, the audience seemed ready and even anxious for more, +he read his address a second time. Later, he began in the middle; later +still, he ran disgracefully from the hall. + +The method which he followed in translation has, therefore, to be +reconstructed from the internal evidence of his books and from personal +experience in collaboration. + +“I shall not,” wrote Matthew Arnold in criticizing Newman, “in the least +concern myself with theories of translation as such. But I advise the +translator not to try ‘to rear on the basis of the _Iliad_, a poem that +shall affect our countrymen as the original may be conceived to have +affected its natural hearers’; and for this simple reason, that we cannot +possibly tell _how_ the _Iliad_ ‘affected its natural hearers.’” + +The first quality that distinguishes Teixeira from most of the +translators whose work and methods of work have swelled the controversial +literature of translation is that he confined himself to modern authors. +Unacquainted with Greek and little versed in Latin, he was never faced +with the difficulty of having to imagine how an original work affected +its natural hearers. Maeterlinck and Couperus were his personal friends; +Fabre and Ewald, who predeceased him, were older contemporaries; it is +only with de Tocqueville and Châteaubriand that he had to gauge the +intellectual atmosphere of an earlier generation. In judging whether +his English rendering left on the minds of English readers the same +impression as the original had left on its “natural hearers”, he had +a court of appeal always available; and, while the English reader is +“lulled into the illusion that he is reading an original work”, the +foreign author can testify to the fidelity with which his text has been +followed and his spirit reproduced. “What a magnificent translation _The +Tour_ is!” Couperus writes; “what a most charming little book it has +become! I am in raptures over it and have read it and reread it all day +and have had tears in my eyes and have laughed over it. You may think it +silly of me to say all this; but it has become an exquisitely beautiful +work in its English form. My warmest congratulations!” + +To achieve this illusion, Teixeira began his literary life with the +most essential quality of a translator: an equal knowledge of the +language that was to be translated and of the language into which he was +translating it. English and Dutch came to him by inheritance; French +and Flemish, German and Danish he added by study; and throughout his +working life he was incessantly sharpening, polishing and adding to +his tools. Limitless reading refreshed a vast vocabulary; meticulous +accuracy refined his meanings and justified his usages. His dictionaries +were annotated freely; and the margins of his manuscripts were filled +with challenges and suggestions for his friends to consider, until his +own exacting fastidiousness had at last been satisfied. Apart from +professional lexicographers, it would have been difficult to find a man +with more words in current use; it would have been almost impossible +to find one who employed them with nicer precision. Learning sat too +lightly on his shoulders to make him vain of it, but no one could hear +or correspond with him without realizing the presence of a purist; he +seldom quoted, mistrusting his memory, confessed himself an amateur +in colloquial dialogue and refused with equal obstinacy to venture on +English metaphors and English field-sports. “I do not know the difference +between a niblick and a foursome,” he would protest. “When you say that +your withers are unwrung, I do not know whether you are boasting or +complaining. What are your withers? Have you any, to begin with? Do you +‘wring’ them or ‘ring’ them? And why can’t you leave them alone?” + +Not content with mastering five foreign languages, Teixeira created a +new literary English for every new kind of book that he translated. His +versions of Maeterlinck’s _Blue Bird_, Couperus’ _Old People and The +Things That Pass_, Fabre’s _Hunting Wasps_ and Ewald’s _My Little Boy_ +have nothing in common but their exquisite sympathy and scholarship; +four different men might have produced them if four men could be +found with the same taste, knowledge and diligence. Fabre’s ingenuous +air of perpetual discovery demanded the style of a grave, grown-up +child; Maeterlinck’s mystical essays invited a hint of preciosity and +aloofness, to suggest that omniscience was expounding infinity through +symbols older than time; and the atmospheric sixth-sense of Couperus +had to be communicated by a sensitiveness of language that could create +pictures and conjure up intangible clouds of discontent, guilty terror, +suppressed antagonism or universal boredom. In reading the original, +Teixeira seemed to steep himself in the personality of his author until +he could pass, like a repertory actor, from one mood and expression +to another; his own mannerisms are confined to a few easily defended +peculiarities of spelling and punctuation. + +For a man who must surely have divined that his calibre was unique, +Teixeira was engagingly free from touchiness. In translating a book, as +in organizing a department, he was magnificently grateful for the word +that had eluded him and for the criticism which he had not foreseen. A +purist in language and a precisian in everything, he realized that a +living style is throttled by too great obedience to rules; but he was +afraid, even in dialogue, of unchaining a wind of colloquialism which +he might be unable to control; and, in constructing the deliberately +artificial speech of his Maeterlinck translations, he recognized that he +lacked his readers’ age-old familiarity with the English of the Bible. +Though his passion for consistency led him to say: “My name ought to +have been Procrus-Tex,” he stretched out both hands for an authority +that would justify him in broadening his rule. “I have always spelt +judgment without an e in the middle,” he declared in 1915, when, with the +gravity that characterized his more trivial decisions, he had abandoned +violet ink, because it seemed frivolous in war-time, and the long s (ſ), +because it bore a Teutonic aspect. “I am too old to change now; and you +know my rule, All or None.” Four years later he announced: “In future +I shall spell ‘judgement’ with an e in the middle. The New English +Dictionary favours it; you assure me that it is so spelt in your English +prayer-book; and Germany has signed the peace terms.” + +No comparison with other translators can be attempted until another +arise with Teixeira’s range of languages and his volume of achievement. +He himself could never say, within a dozen, how many books he had +translated; but in them all he created such an illusion of originality +that they are not suspected of being translations until his name is seen. +In a wider view, he undermined the pretensions of those who boasted +that they could never read translations; and, if no one is likely to be +found with all his gifts, he at least prepared the way for a new school +of translators. It may be hoped that, after the battles which he fought, +important foreign authors will not again be sacrificed to illiterate +hacks at five-shillings a thousand words: it may even be expected that +competent scholars will no longer disdain the task of translating +contemporary works. All literary predictions are rash; but there seems +little risk in prophesying that Teixeira’s renderings of Fabre, Couperus +and Maeterlinck will be read as long as the originals. + +The tangible fruits of his astonishing industry are only a part of his +achievement: it is to him, in company with Constance Garnett, William +Archer, Aylmer Maude and the other undaunted pioneers, that English +readers owe their escape from the self-satisfied insularity with which +they had protected themselves against continental literature. When +publishers have been convinced that translations need not be unprofitable +and when a conservative public has discovered that they need not be +unreadable, a future generation may be privileged to have prompt access +to every noteworthy book in whatsoever language it has been written, +without waiting as the present generation has had to wait for an English +rendering of Tolstoi, Turgenieff, Dostoieffski and Tchehov. + +In conversation Teixeira took little pleasure in discussing himself; +in correspondence he could not help giving himself away. The reader +will deduce, from his slow surrender of intimacy, the shyness that ever +conflicted with his sociability; the absence of all allusions to his +literary work, save when he fancied that a second opinion might help him, +is evidence of a personal modesty that amounted almost to unconsciousness +of his position in letters. Diffidence and sociability, first +conflicting, then joining forces, led him in his departmental work to +discuss every problem with a friend; and in all personal relationships, +he needed an hourly confidant because everything in life was an adventure +to be shared and might be worked in later to the saga with which he +strove to make himself ridiculous for the diversion of his company. +“Thus,” he writes of a childish freak, “do the elderly amuse themselves +for the further amusement of a limited circle.” Weighty commissions were +assembled, daring expeditions set out under his leadership to choose a +dressing-gown for country-house wear; the grey tall-hat with which he +surprised one private view of the Royal Academy was no less of a surprise +to him and even more of an abiding pleasure. For a year or two afterwards +he would telephone on the first of May: “If you will wear your goodish +white topper to-day, I will wear mine”; and once, when these conspicuous +headpieces were in evidence, he led the way to Covent Garden Market, with +the words: “It is not every day that the women of the market see two men +in such hats, such coats and such spats, standing before a fruit-stall +with their canes crooked over their arms and their yellow gloves +protruding from their pockets, consuming the first green figs of the year +in the year’s first sunshine.” + +In conversation he once boasted that he was never bored; and, though +every man and woman at the table volunteered the names of at least six +people who would bore him to extinction, the boast was justified in +that, however irksome one moment might be, it could always be invested +afterwards with the glamour of an eccentric adventure. Somewhere, +among his immediate ascendants, there must have been a not too remote +ancestor of Peter Pan. On his fifty-sixth birthday, Teixeira was having +a party arranged for him, with a cake and fifty-six tiny candles; for +days beforehand he had been asking for presents of any kind, to impress +the other visitors in his hotel; and, if he knew one joy greater than +receiving presents, it was finding an excuse to give them. + +With the heart of a child in all things, he had the child’s quality of +being frightened by small pains and undaunted by great; a cut finger was +an occasion for panic, but the threat of blindness found him indomitable. +Herein he was supported throughout life by the faith which he had +acquired in boyhood and which he preserved until his death. “I save my +temper,” he once wrote, “by not discussing religion except with Catholics +or politics except with liberals. There’s room for discussion in the +_nuances_; there’s too much room for it with those who call my black +white.” ... While it was generally known among his friends that he was +a devout Catholic, only a few were allowed to see how much reliance he +placed in religion; and he would grow impatient with what he considered a +morbid protestant passion for worrying at something that for him had been +immutably settled. + +In political debates he would only join at the prompting of extreme +sympathy or extreme exasperation. His native feeling for the Boers in +the Transvaal was little shared in England during the South African +war; and his loathing for English misrule in Ireland was too strong to +be ventilated acceptably among the people whom he met most commonly in +London. His connection with the Legitimist cause came to an end with the +outbreak of war: though he had hitherto delighted in penetrating between +the sentries at St. James’ Palace and placarding the wall with an appeal +to all loyal subjects of the rightful king, he was unable to continue +his allegiance when Prince Rupprecht of Bavaria became an enemy alien. + +Legitimacy and Catholicism, apart from other claims on his regard, +gratified a love for ceremonial and tradition that would have been more +incongruous in a liberal if Teixeira’s whole equipment of beliefs, +practices and preferences had not been a collection of incongruities. +Though he detested militarism, he could never understand why the English +civilians omitted to uncover to the colours; hating pomposity, he enjoyed +the grand manner in address and, on being greeted by a peer as “my dear +sir,” replied “my dear lord” in a formula beloved by Disraeli. As a +relief to an accuracy of expression which he himself called Procrustean +and pernickety, he would transform any word that he thought would look +or sound more engaging for a little mutilation. It was a bad day for the +English of his letters when he read Heine and entered into competition +for the most torturing play upon words; his case became hopeless when +he was introduced to a couple of friends who could pun with him in +four or five languages. It was this bent of mind that may justify the +description of him[4] as the son of Edward Lear and the grandson of +Charles Lamb. + +Underlying the whimsical humour of his letters and peeping through the +mock solemnity of his speech was a young child’s concern for the welfare +of his friends: himself never growing up, he never outgrew his generous +delight in any success that came to them; their ill-health and sorrow +were harder to bear than his own; and he shewed a child’s impulsive +generosity in offering all he had in comfort. Sympathy, help, experience +and advice were at hand for whosoever would take them: he had too long +lived precariously to forget the tragedy of those who failed and failed +again; he knew life too well to grow impatient with those who failed +through no one’s fault but their own. + +Love of life, enduring to the end, knowledge of life, increasing every +day, combined to join this heart of a child to the experience of an +old man. As a connoisseur of food and wine, as of style and manner, he +belonged to a generation that ranked life as the greatest of the fine +arts. To lunch with him was to receive a liberal education in gastronomy, +though his course of personal instruction sometimes broke down for lack +of material: from time to time he would announce with jubilation that +he had discovered some rare vintage in some unknown restaurant; a party +would be organized to sample it, only to be informed that the last bottle +had been consumed by Mr. Teixeira the day before. + +As an explorer, he remained, to his last hour, at the age when a +boy lingers rapturously before one shop after another, enjoying all +impartially, sharing his enjoyment with every passer-by, confident that +life is an unending vista of glittering shop-windows and that the day +must somehow be long enough for him to take them all in. + + + + +IV + + +Max Beerbohm’s caricature of Teixeira, discovered later—to the subject’s +delight—in the waiting-room of an eminent gynaecologist, emphasizes +the most strongly marked natural and acquired characteristics of his +appearance: a big nose and a liking for the fantastic in dress. There is +hardly space, in the drawing, even for the tiny hat of the music-hall +comedian, so devastating is the sweep of that nose, outward from the +lips, up and round, annihilating forehead and cranium until it merges +in the nape of the neck. Of the dress no more need be said than that it +looks like a valiant attempt to live up to the nose. + +As this caricature has not been published in any collection of Max +Beerbohm’s drawings, it was probably unknown to most of those who were +brought into the Intelligence Section of the War Trade Intelligence +Department, there to be introduced to its head, to receive the handshake +and bow of a courtier and to wonder how Tenniel could have drawn the +old sheep in _Alice Through the Looking-Glass_ without Teixeira as a +model. Tall and broad-shouldered, with thick black hair and a white face, +tortoise-shell-rimmed spectacles, and a cigarette in a holder, taciturn, +impassive and unsmiling, Teixeira never failed to conceal that he was +more shy than his visitor. With articulation as beautifully clear as +his writing and in words not less exquisitely chosen than the language +of his books, he would introduce the newcomer to those with whom he was +to work. Messengers would be despatched to bring an additional chair +and table. In the resultant confusion, the immense, silent figure would +walk away with a heavy tread, to find that a pile of papers, two feet +high, had risen like an Indian mango where there had been but six inches +a moment before. A voice of authority, rolling its r’s like the rumble +of distant artillery, would telephone for more messengers; in time the +pile would dwindle until the spectacles and then the nose and then the +cigarette-holder were visible. In time, too, the newcomer recovered from +his fright and set about learning the business of the department. + +It was a pleasant surprise to hear “this Olympian creature”, as Stevenson +called Prince Florizel, addressed by Sutro as “Tex”; and, although the +first terror was disabling, even the newcomer realized that every one in +the section seemed happy. The Olympian creature never lost his temper, he +condescended to jokes and invented nicknames; the appalling gravity was +found to be a mask for shyness and a disguise for bubbling absurdity. + +In the summer of 1915 the machinery of the blockade was still making. +The department, overworked and understaffed, was inadequately housed +in a corner of Central Buildings, Westminster. In the autumn it moved +to Broadway House, in Tothill Street; and one newcomer was invited to +sit at Teixeira’s table as deputy-head of the section. Thenceforth, +until the armistice, we worked together daily, save when one or other +was on leave or ill and during the early summer of 1917 when I was +sent to Washington. The office, changing almost weekly in personnel, +underwent reconstruction when the blockade was modified in 1918: Teixeira +became secretary to the department; I succeeded him as head of the +intelligence section; and, when I left in 1919, he stayed behind to help +in dismantling the old machine and in assembling a new one to supply +economic information to the peace conference. + +Our correspondence for the last three years of the war was restricted to +the times when one of us was away. These absences grew more frequent as +Teixeira exchanged one illness for another. His letters present him as +a government servant rejoicing in his work, tingling with the new sense +of new responsibility and, “from his circumstances having been always +such, that he had scarcely any share in the real business of life”, +suggesting irresistibly a comparison with Dr. Johnson at the sale of his +friend Thrale’s brewery, “bustling about, with an ink-horn and pen in his +button-hole, like an exciseman”. So much of them, however, is taken up +with departmental business that I have drawn sparingly upon them. + + + + +V + + +The first five months of 1916 were a time of relatively good health for +Teixeira; and our correspondence contains little more than an invitation, +which he acknowledged in departmental language. + +I wrote: + + _Tuesday, Jan. 4th, 1916._ + + _Though long I’ve wished to bid you come and dine,_ + _Your way of life stood ever in the way;_ + _For you, I gather, go to bed at nine_ + _And rise at five (or five-fifteen) next day._ + + _Yet Tuesday brings my chance. At half-past eight_ + _I go to guard my king; but, ere I go,_ + _With meat and wine I purpose to inflate_ + _My sagging stomach for an hour or so._ + + _Then will you join me? Seven o’clock, I think:_ + _The Mausoleum Club is fairly near:_ + _Whate’er your heart desire of food and drink,_ + _And any kind of clothes you choose to wear._ + + _S. McK._ + + _We should be glad, ~replies Teixeira~, if this application + could come up again in say a fortnight’s time._ + + _A. T._ + _Trade Clearing House._ + +When next I was summoned for duty as a special constable, the application +was submitted again; and Teixeira dined with me at the Reform Club. Later +in the year, though he had been warned by William Campbell, the greatest +friend of his middle years, that a man who laughed so much would never +be admitted to membership, I was allowed to propose him as a candidate; +and from the day of his election he became one of the most popular +figures both in the card-room and in the south-east corner of the big +smoking-room, where his most intimate associates gathered. + +His hours of work, to which the first stanza refers, have already +been mentioned; his methods call for a word or two of description. +The library in Cheltenham Terrace looked out over the Duke of York’s +School and was lined with book-cases wherever windows, fire-place or +door permitted. The furniture consisted of a sofa, which was used for +hat-boxes and more books; a writing-table, which was used for anything +but writing; a revolving book-case, filled with works of reference; and +the editorial chair from the office of _The Candid Friend_. Seating +himself in dressing-gown and slippers, between the fire-place and the +revolving book-case, Teixeira dug himself into position: a despatch-box +under his feet raised his knees to an angle at which he could balance +a dictionary upon them, with its edge resting on a miniature bureau; +on the dictionary rested a blotting-pad; and every book that he needed +was in reach either of his hand or an elongated pair of “lazy-tongs”; +scissors, string, sealing-wax, india-rubber and knives were ingeniously +and menacingly suspended from nails in the revolving book-case; on the +top stood cigarettes, matches, a paste-pot and a vast copper ash-tub; +and the colour of his violet carpet was chosen to conceal the occasional +splashings of a violet-ink pen. With a telephone on one side to put him +in touch with the outside world and with a bell on the other to secure +his morning coffee, Teixeira could work without moving until evicted by +force. + +In the beginning of June, he was ordered to Malvern. + + _No news, ~he writes on the 10th~, except that I have arrived + and had some tea...._ + + _There are hawthorns at Malvern and rhododendrons of -dra but + also the most bloodthirsty hills. And there was an officer + in the train who told me that the feeling in Franst was most + “optimistic”._ + + _The proprietress of this hotel pronounces my name Teisheira. + This must be looked into._ + + _I s’pose I’m enjoying myself, ~he writes next day~. I feel + very restless._ + + _~[My cook]~, I forgot to tell you, was mounting guard over the + dispatch-box like a very sentinel, with hands duly folded: a + most proper spectacle. I nearly died, but not entirely, hunting + for my porter up and down the length of the longest train you + ever saw (I am sure this must be correct, in view of the fact + that you never did see this particular train)...._ + + _This hotel is not so uncomfortable: I slept eight hours; I + have a writing-table in my room; my bath was too hot to get + into; these are signs of human comfort, are not they? Nor + is the food nasty. Fortunately, there is not much of it. I + ordered me a bottle of Berncastler Doctor. They brought me + Liebfraumilch. I waved it away, saying that hock was acid and + gave me gout. Then, persuaded to be a Christian, I sent one + running after it before the doctor was opened and drank two + glasses; and it was delicious; and I have no gout._ + + _Why I sit boring you with this dull stuff I do not know: it is + certainly not worth including in the Life and Letters._ + +Two days of solitude set him athirst for companionship. + + _Good-morning, fair sir, ~he writes on 12.6.16~. I hope this + finds you as it leaves me at present, a little improved in + health. But I would not wish my worst enemy the weariness from + which I am suffering.... Picture me buying useless things so + that I may exchange a word with a shopman; for no one talks to + me here. Also the weather is bitterly cold._ + +And next day: + + _I have ... talked at length to a highly intelligent Dane, with + a massy pair of calves that do credit to his pastoral country. + But he has returned to town this morning._ + + _They play very low at the club, fortunately, for I lost 13/-, + which would have been £10, had I been playing R.A.C. points. + Also they make me too late to dress for dinner, which doesn’t + matter: nothing matters in this world._ + + _For the rest, I have reason to think that I shall begin to + cheer up from to-morrow and to remain cheerful until Saturday. + That is “speech-day”—I presume at Malvern College—when I expect + to see an awful invasion of horribobble papas and mammas._ + + _Bless you._ + + _The hoped-for cheerfulness has not yet arrived, ~he laments + on 14.6.16~. I live in one of the most tragic of worlds. But + ... I have had more conversation. The place of the Dane with + the fatted calves ... has been taken by a parson, a passon, a + parsoon, an elderly parsoon with the complete manner of the + late Mr. Penley in ~The Private Secretary~: he would like + to give every German a good, hard slap, I am sure. He is a + much-travelled man; and his ignorance of every place which he + has visited is thoroughly entertaining...._ + + _I am becoming popular at the club: they took 12/- out of me + yesterday. I must set my teeth and get it back though._ + + _The influx of odious parents, ~he writes on 18.6.16~, with + their loathy, freckled criminals of offspring has flustered + the waiters and is spoiling all my meals. What I do now is to + change for dinner after all and come in exactly an hour late + for meals. They have some way of keeping the food—such as it + is—piping hot; and so I do not suffer unduly for avoiding the + sight of some, at least, of the carroty-headed boys and their + thick-ankled sisters...._ + + _Ah well! I can begin to count the days until I am back among + you; and a glad day that will be for me! Nobody in the world, I + think, hates either rest or enjoyment so much as I do._ + + _Good-bye. I am going for a walk. I tell you frankly, I am + going for a walk. I tell you this frankly...._ + +On Teixeira’s return to the department, our correspondence was suspended +until I went to Cornwall for a week’s leave in August. When I wrote in +praise of my surroundings, he replied with a warning: + + _You are probably too young ever to have heard of ... a + play-actress ... who brought a breach of promise action ... and + earned the then record damages of £10,000. She took a cottage + somewhere the other day and brought her mother to live in it. + The mother said, “This is just the sort of place I like; I + shall be happy here,” then fell down the stairs and was dead in + half an hour...._ + + _... Remember me to the Atlantic...._ + +The next letter contained a story from Ireland: + + _Sligo, 18 August 1916._ + + _... Here, in this most distressful country, we are about to + experience again the blessings of coercion, administered by + Duke, K.C., and Carson, high priest of the cult. In Sligo, the + other day, two ladies treating each other in a public-house, + the barman intervened at the tenth drink, saying:_ + + _“Stop it now; ye can’t have any more; troth, I won’t sarve ye + again. Don’t ye know it’s Martial Law that’s on the people?”_ + + _Whereupon one of them enquired of the other:_ + + _“For the love of God, Mrs. Murphy, what’s he talking about at + all? Who’s Martial Law?”_ + + _To which her friend replied ~sotto voce~:_ + + _“Whist, don’t be showing your ignorance, ma’am! Don’t ye know + he’s a brother of Bonar Law’s?”..._ + +As official papers accompanied every letter, a trace of departmental +style is occasionally visible in private notes: + + _War Trade Intelligence Department, 23 August, 1916._ + + _“Harry Edwin” ate a grouse last night and drank many glasses + of port. You can imagine the sort of grumpy ~commensal~ that he + is to-day._ + + _A. T._ + + _“Harry Edwin.” + To see. + 23.8.16._ + + _Seen and approved. + H. E. P._ + + _... Don’t overbathe, ~he adds as a postscript~. Why be so + reckless? You remind me of the London city “clurks” who arrive + in Switzerland one evening, run straight up the Matterhorn the + next morning. I believe that two per cent of them do not drop + dead._ + + _The Sehr Hochwohlgeboren und Verdammter Graf Zeppelin, ~he + writes on 25.18.16~, did some damage last night at Greenwich, + Blackwall (a power-station) etc. For the rest, no news. I am + picking up not wholly unconsidered trifles at the Wellington + and benefiting your Uncle Reggie ~pro rata~. ~[Bridge + winnings at this time were thriftily exchanged for War Savings + Certificates.]~ This morning I (pro)-rated the girl ... at the + post-office for not “pushing” those certificates. I said that, + whenever any one asked for a penny stamp, she should ask:_ + + _“May we not supply you with one of these?”_ + + _It went very well with the audience._ + + _This morning, ~he writes later~, I have bought my thirteenth + fifteen-and-sixpennyworth of Uncle Reggie. Mindful of my + injunction to “push” the goods, the post-office girl ... urged + me to buy a £19.7. affair which would be good for £25 in five + years’ time. Alas! Still, there are hopes._ + +In his preface to _The Admirable Bashville_, Bernard Shaw explains his +reason for throwing it into blank verse: “I had but a week to write it +in. Blank verse is so childishly easy and expedious (hence, by the way, +Shakespeare’s copious output), that by adopting it I was enabled to do +within the week what would have cost me a month in prose.” Pressure of +work sometimes drove Teixeira to a similar expedient in rimed verse: + + _Letter just received, ~he writes in haste on 26.8.16. to + acknowledge the account of a bathing mishap~:_ + + _With great relief at noon I found_ + _That S. McKenna was not drowned._ + + _Many thanks for the pendant to these lovely ~verses~._ + + _P.S. I note—and we all note—~he adds~—that you never express + the wish to see us all again. How different from my Malvern + letters! Ah, what a terrible thing is sincerity!_ + + + + +VI + + +On Holy Saturday, 1917, I was asked by the deputy-chairman whether I +would represent the department on the mission which Mr. Balfour was +taking to Washington with a view to coordinating the war-organization of +Great Britain and the United States. + +For the next two months Teixeira and I communicated whenever a bag passed +between the British Embassy and the Foreign Office, overflowing into a +brief journal betweenwhiles. He also disposed of my varied correspondence +with uniform discretion and with a courage that only failed him when +unknown mothers asked him if I would stand sponsor to their children. + + _The enquiries into the cause of your absence, ~he writes on + 12.4.17~, have been distressing. More people ask if you are ill + than if you are being married. The unit of the last idea was + Sutro, who then went off to Davis and found out what he wanted + to know...._ + + _13 April._ + + _The work is pretty stiff and I doubt if I can make this + desultory diary as gossipy as I could have wished. And, after + all, it will seem pretty stale and jejune by the time it + reaches you...._ + + _Your whereabouts are known now in the dept. and will be at the + club to-morrow, if any one asks me again. Hitherto great wonder + has reigned; but the “no blame attaches to his name” stunt has + worked exquisitely._ + +The figure of Max Beerbohm’s caricature is seen in the following +paragraph: + + _I have ordered eight new coloured shirts, bringing the total + up to 23. Then I have about a dozen black-and-white shirts; + and only seven dress-shirts, I find. This makes 42 in all. My + father’s theory was that no gentleman should have fewer than + eighty shirts to his name. Times have changed; and we are a + petty and pettyfogging generation of mankind. On the other + hand, I have 33 ties, exclusive of white ties. I feel almost + sure that my father did not have so many as that. And I outdo + him utterly in boot-trees, of which I have just ordered a pair + to be marked “L8” and “R8,” meaning thereby that it is my + eighth pair. ~Sursum corda.~_ + +Teixeira believed with almost complete sincerity that he would die on +21 April 1917. The origin of this belief he never explained to me; and +I do not know whether he confided it to others. This accounts for the +following entry: + + _Shall I live, I wonder, till the 22nd, to write to you that I + am still alive? When I allow my thoughts to dwell upon 21.4.17, + now but six brief days off, there rises to them the memory of + the horrible Widow’s Song which Vesta Victoria used to sing. I + will start the next page with the chorus; for you, poor young + fellow, know nothing of the songs that brightened the Augustan + age of the music-halls._ + + _Read and admire:_ + + _He was a good, kind husband,_ + _One of the best of men:_ + _So fond of his home, sweet home,_ + _He never, never wanted to roam._ + _There he would sit by the fire-side,_ + _Such a chilly man was John!_ + _I hope and trust_ + _There’s a nice, warm fire_ + _Where my old man’s gone._ + + _Gallows-humour, my dear executor, gallows-humour!_ + + _16 April._ + + _Yesterday being a fine day, I have caught cold. A bad + look-out, executor, a bad look-out!_ + + _Adieu, cher ami._ + + _You will observe a brief hiatus, ~he writes on 19 April, + 1917~. A letter begun to you on the 16th is reposing in my + drawer at the department, where I have not been since then, + having succumbed to an attack of bronchitis. And ~[my doctor]~ + will not let me out till the 21st (“der Tag!”) at the earliest._ + +_Der Tag_ was reached ... + + _21 April, 1917._ + + _It was a comfort and a joy to read this morning that your + party has arrived safely at Halifax. I propose to pass this + bloudie day without any cheap philosophizing. I am about cured + of my bronchitis, I think, though fearsomely weak; and, if + I “be” to “be” carried off to-day, it’ll be a motor-bus or + -cab that’ll do for me. Look out for a letter from me dated + to-morrow. I hope the voyage has done you all the good in the + world...._ + +... _and survived_. + + _22 April, 1917._ + + _Ebbene, caro mio Stefano! You will be able to tell your + grandchildren that you once knew a man who for twenty years was + convinced that he would die on the day when he was fifty-two + years and twelve days old and who lived to be fifty-two and + thirteen...._ + + _Bottomley has turned against the new government and is + adumbrating his ideal government. He retains the present + foreign secretary, but nominates H. H. A. as lord chancellor + and Sir Edward Holden as chancellor of the exchequer. He wants + Beresford as minister of blockade. Oof!_ + + _Robbie Ross has a story of a German poet, one Oskar Schmidt, + “a charming fellow,” who, armed with the best letters of + recommendation, went to Oxford and spent several agreeable + weeks there. The fine flower of his observations was:_ + + _“Der Oxfort oontercratuades, dey go apout between a melangolly + and a flegma.”..._ + + _24 April, 1917._ + + _Your name appeared in the ~Times~ yesterday; and I am now + able to read daily, or I hope, shall be, how Mr. McKenna + bowed, raised his hat and, escorted by cavalry, took his first + cocktail on American soil. I do hope that you are not only + having the time of your life but feeling amazingly well. J. + pictures you a victim of indigestion; but I, knowing your + justly celebrated strength of character, have no fears on that + score. ~Cura ut valeas.~_ + + _4 May, 1917._ + + _This is a private-view day. The sun is blazing truculently. I + am wearing a new shirt, white with black and yellow lines (the + Teixeira colours), and the white hat and all’s well in God’s + dear world._ + +That these sartorial efforts were not wasted is shewn by the next entry: + + _5 May, 1917._ + + _... From yesterday’s Star:_ + + _“Society Sees the Pictures_ + + _“The beautiful spring day induced one Beau Brummel to sport a + white box-hat”!!!_ + + + + +VII + + +In the middle of May I cabled to Teixeira in code, asking him to forward +no more letters; and I did not hear from him again until my return to +England in the second week of June. + +As soon as I was ready to take his place, he went to Harrogate for a +cure and remained there for six weeks. For part of the time I took his +place in another sense of the phrase. At the end of July the Air Board +commandeered my flat; and, until I could find, decorate and furnish +another, Teixeira and his wife most kindly placed their house at my +disposal. This will explain the following extract: + + _Harrogate: 15 July, 1917._ + + _Here is the key. Come in when you like, make yourself as + comfortable as you can and forgive all deficiencies. I feel a + compunction at not having the physical energy to “clear” things + a bit for you; but there you are...._ + + _I have started my cure, ~he writes on 18.7.17~, which promises + to be a most strenuous, arduous and tedious affair. I have to + take daily two soda-water tumblers of strong sulphur water and + two ordinary tumblers of warm magnesia water; and on alternate + days (a) a Nauheim bath and (b) a hot-air bath...._ + + _It is raining steadily. This doesn’t matter. But that + sulphur-water, on an empty stomach, at 8 a.m.! Two-and-twenty + ounces of it, hot! The stench of it! It is said to remind one + of rotten eggs; but, as I have never smelt a rotten egg, it + reminds me of nothing and only suggests hell._[5] + +Sugar seems to have been more scarce in Harrogate than in London; and +Teixeira’s appeals and contrivances were always pathetic and sometimes +frantic. + + _My wife did manage to get half a pound of it flung at her + head this morning, ~he writes on 19.7.17~. I had so entirely + forgotten the essential rudeness of the people of Yorkshire + that its discovery came upon me as an utter surprise. I amuse + myself by overcoming it with smiles. Smiles are unfamiliar + symptoms to them and take them aback._ + + _You may tell Sutro that I have bought a dozen silk collars._ + +After weary weeks of nauseating treatment, he writes: + + _It will be an awful sell if this cure ends without doing me + good. Still I always hope. Whatever happens I shall want at + least a week’s after-cure which I should probably take here: + simply a rest and air, without any waters or baths. But what is + your Cornish date?_ + +I replied, 27.7.17. + + _By this time you will have seen that our minds have been + working on parallel lines towards the same conclusion that an + after-cure is quite essential. It will suit me perfectly well + to stay here until, and including, Friday the 24th, or later if + you like. My Cornish arrangements are quite fluid...._ + + _For all your pagan pose, ~he writes~, you are a fine old Irish + Christian gentleman, as is proved by your suggestion of an + after-cure, dictated no doubt at the identical moment when I + was writing my answer to it. At any rate, I prefer to think of + you as a Christian brother rather than as a Corsican brother. + As I said, I shall probably take that after-cure, but take + it at Harrogate, which is about as bracing a spot as any in + the three kingdoms. To go straight to the sea might set up my + rheumatism again, if indeed it is suppressed; there is no sign + yet of that desiderandum...._ + +It is necessary to insert my letter of 30.7.17 in order to explain +Teixeira’s reply to it. + + _I went home for the week-end, ~I wrote~, and travelled up this + morning with C. H. C. has a new and most amusing game. It + consists of inviting people to stay with him for the week-end + and encouraging them to bathe in the river Thames and only + disclosing, when the damage has been done, that the bed of that + ancient river is richly studded with broken bottles. There was + a small boy in the carriage with one badly injured foot as a + result of C.’s pleasantry. I did a conspicuous St. Christopher + stunt and carried the boy on my shoulders the entire length of + the arrival platform at Paddington...._ + + _I, ~Teixeira answers, 30.7.17~, once carried Willie + Crosthwait, then aged 14, the whole length of the Euston + departure platform. That beats you (and perhaps caused the best + part of my present troubles). He is now an army chaplain; and I + sit moaning at Harrogate._ + + _Ululu!_ + +My eviction took place in the first week of August; and on 3.8.17 I wrote +to Teixeira: + + _I am thinking of moving to Chelsea on Tuesday.... You may + remember a story of Benjamin Jowett in connection with + two undergraduates who persisted in staying up at Balliol + throughout the Long Vacation. Jowett, by way of gently + dislodging them, insisted first that they should attend Chapel + daily. The undergraduates grumbled, but obeyed. Jowett, seeing + that his first attack had failed, arranged with the kitchen + authorities that the food served to these recalcitrant young + scholars should be entirely uneatable, and in the course of + time their spirit was so much broken that they left him and + Balliol in peace. He is reported to have said, as he watched + them driving down to the station: “That sort goeth not forth + but by prayer and fasting.” So with me. I have manfully + withstood the stalwart labourers who break walls down all + round me throughout the night; but, when the porters are paid + off, the maids deprived of their rooms, the hot-water supply + disconnected and the gas cut off at the main, I feel that I may + retire with dignity and the full honours of war...._ + + _Make yourself as comfortable in Chelsea as you can, ~he + answered on 4.8.17~. As at present advised, we return on + Wednesday fortnight, the 22nd...._ + + _The days here speed past on wings, thanks to their monotony. + Waters at 8; again at 10.30; a bath or baths at 11; lunch at + 1.30; a jog-trot drive from 3 to 4; bridge; dinner at 7.30; + massage at 9; all this with unfailing regularity. I believe + far more in my masseuse (she lives at this house) than in my + doctor. It will amuse your father to hear that this genius is + prescribing for me in the matter of rheumatism, neuritis and + fibrositis in the arm without having once had my shirt off! + I make suggestions, at the instance of the masseuse, and he + promptly annexes them as his own:_ + + _“Tell me, doctor, may I do so-and-so?”_ + + _“You ~are~ to do so-and-so; and this very day!”_ + + _The doctors here generally have the very worst name; but there + is nobody to pull them up or show them up._ + + _The place teems with people whom I know and don’t want to see._ + + _The rain it raineth every day and all day...._ + + _My cure is now over, ~he writes on 12.8.17~; it has been long + and costly; it has done me no good at all. Indeed my main + affliction is worse; certain movements of the right arm which + were possible with comparative ease before I came down are now + nearly impossible. On Saturday, at the final consultation, when + I took leave of my doctor and paid him five guineas, he told + me for the first time that I have no neuritis but that I have + bursitis. All the while, mark you, he has been treating me for + fibrositis. It is a consolation to know, however, that I have + no arthritis. What I have been having is what the vulgar would + call a hi-tiddlyhitis high old time...._ + +A week later I went again to Cornwall on leave. + + _Do devote yourself, ~wrote Teixeira, 25.8.17~, at any rate for + the first ten days of your absence, to becoming very well and + strong. I have never seen you quite so ill as yesterday and I + was infinitely distressed about it. Treat yourself as though + you were an exceedingly old man like me. Then when you have + entered upon your rejuvenescence you can begin to play pranks + with yourself again...._ + +Later he added: + + _Be careful not to honour the Atlantic with more than one + immersion a day...._ + + _~And, 30.8.17.~ I am exceedingly busy, but I am enjoying it + all. My health is as bad as ever and I have recovered my famous + lead-poisoning hue. I expect you, however, to return with the + bloom of roses and the stains of coffee on your cheeks. So make + up your mind to sleep and do it...._ + +In the first week of September there began the most persistent series of +air-raids that occurred at any stage during the war. + + _Last night, ~Teixeira writes, 5.9.17~, was made hideous by a + pack of confounded Germans who came over London and created no + end of a din. I looked out of the window, saw one shell burst + in a south-easterly direction, debated whether to go below or + remain in bed and remained in bed._ + + _~[My cook]~, from her basement, appears to have obtained a + much clearer aural view:_ + + _“Didn’t you hear them two raiders firing bom-m-ms at each + other, sir?”_ + + _There spoke your Sinn Feiner: they were both raiders to her. + The row lasted for over two hours; and I feel an utter wreck. + Lord knows what mischief the brutes have done this time._ + + _Vale et nos ama._ + +Next day, in a letter dated, _City of Dreadful Nights_, he adds: + + _Last night no air-raid was possible, because of an appalling + thunderstorm, which kept me awake for another three hours. If + you have ever heard thunder rolling for fifty seconds without + intercession and giving sixty of these rolls to the hour, you + will know the sort of thunderstorm it was._ + +This description prompts him to an anecdote: + + _“Then there’s Roche, the resident magistrate. Don’t go + shooting Roche now ... unless it’s by accident. What does he + look like? Well, if ye’ve ever seen a half-drowned rat, with a + grey worsted muffler round its neck, then ye know the kind of + man Roche is!”—Speech quoted before the Parnell Commission._ + +On my return from Cornwall, my flat was not yet ready for me, but the +Teixeiras’ hospitality allowed me to continue staying with them. + + _You will be as welcome on Thursday night as peace at + Christmas, ~wrote Teixeira, 9.9.17~. ~[My cook]~ is away on a + holiday and there is a possibility that she will not be back + by then; and in the meantime there is nobody else. You may, + therefore, have to submit to a modicum of discomfort: ... your + boots will probably have to accumulate to some extent before + they are cleaned on the larger scale. You have so many boots, + however, that I venture to hope that this will not incommode + you unduly._ + +This welcome was seasoned later by a story which Teixeira invented, +describing his efforts to dislodge me. According to this, he used to fall +resonantly from his bedroom to his study at 5.0 each morning and, if this +failed to rouse me, he would mount the stairs again and continue to throw +himself down until I waked. At 6.0 a cup of tea would be brought me; +at 7.0 the morning paper; at 8.0 my letters. When I went to my bath at +8.30, Teixeira used to assert that he flung my clothes into a suit-case, +tiptoed downstairs and laid the case on the doorstep. His tactics failed +because I only waited until he was locked in the bathroom before creeping +down and retrieving the case. + +As our leave was over for the year, there was no further exchange of +letters save when one or other was absent from our department. + + _I have read the new Maeterlinck play[6]—a good theme + infamously treated, ~I find myself writing, 27.12.18~. I beg + you to scrap the third act and with it your regard for M’s + feelings; then rewrite it with a little passion, a great deal + of fear and unlimited un-understanding horror. The invasion + of Belgium wasn’t a Greek tragedy where the afflicted prosed + and philosophised—with a chorus dilating on cattle-yas; it was + noisy, bloody and, above all, unbelievable. Maeterlinck has + brought no nightmare into it...._ + + _Letter just received, ~he replied next day~. You are a highly + illuminated and illuminating critick. Your remarks upon that + play are exactly right (as I now know, having just read my + first three Greek plays)...._ + + _I enclose, ~he writes 10.8.18~, 1¾ chapters of the Couperus + classical comedy-novel ~[The Tour]~, which I amused myself + by doing because you insisted so emphatically that the book + should be done. But I will go no further till I have your + verdict. Don’t trouble to do any work on this; the marginal + refs. were merely inserted as I went along. Just see if the + thing is the sort of thing that’s likely to take on; and talk + to me about it when you see me...._ + + + + +IX + + +In 1918 Teixeira’s health had so much improved that he was able to +dispense with all violent and disabling cures. + +This was the period when he was, socially, in greatest request. I +introduced him, in the spring, to Mr. and Mrs. Asquith, who shewed him +much hospitality and great kindness from this time until his death. His +leaves were now usually spent with them at Sutton Courtney; but, since he +required to take little or no sick-leave, the number of letters exchanged +in this year is small. + +At the armistice, he left the Intelligence Section to become secretary +to the department; and, though we worked in the same building for two or +three months more, I naturally saw less of him than when we shared the +same table. The last communication that passed between us as colleagues, +like the first, written three years before, contained an invitation. Its +form must be explained by reference to Stevenson’s and Osborne’s _Wrong +Box_. Rudyard Kipling has mentioned, in _A Diversity of Creatures_, the +sublime brotherhood to whom this book is a second Bible. + + “I remembered,” [he writes in _The Vortex_], “a certain Joseph + Finsbury who delighted the Tregonwell Arms ... with nine ... + versions of a single income of two hundred pounds, placing the + imaginary person in—but I could not recall the list of towns + further than ‘London, Paris, Bagdad, and Spitzbergen.’ This + last I must have murmured aloud, for the Agent-General suddenly + became human and went on: ‘Bussoran, Heligoland, and the Scilly + Islands’—‘What?’ growled Penfentenyou. ‘Nothing,’ said the + Agent-General, squeezing my hand affectionately. ‘Only we have + just found out that we are brothers.... I’ve got it. Brighton, + Cincinnati and Nijni-Novgorod!’ God bless R. L. S.[7]...” One + of the greatest living authorities on _The Wrong Box_ was a + member of the Reform Club; and, on joining, Teixeira found it + necessary to his self-protection to study the most aptly-quoted + work in the world. + + My invitation was couched in the cryptic terms of the + brotherhood: + + _MATTOS. Alexander William de Bent Teixeira, + if this should meet the eye of, he + will hear something to his advantage + by lunching with me to-day at the far + end of Waterloo Station (Departure + Platform) or even at Lincoln’s Inn._ + + _War Trade Intelligence Department._ + + _30 December, 1918._ + +On leaving the department early in 1919, I saw and heard little of +Teixeira until he invited me to collaborate in the translation of _The +Tour_. Occasional divergencies of opinion about translating Latin words +in the English rendering of a Dutch novel had the very desirable result +of making Teixeira set out some few of the principles which he followed. + + _Couperus sends me this postcard, ~he writes, 29.4.18~:_ + + _“Amice,_ + + _“You are of course at liberty to act according to your taste + and judgement. I do not however understand the thing: in every + novel treating of antiquity the classical word sometimes gives + a nuance to the untranslatable local colour. And every novelist + feels this: See ~Quo Vadis~, in Jeremiah Curtius’ translation. + However, do as you think proper._ + + _“Yours,_ + _“L. C.”_ + + _He has us on the hip with his Jeremiah Curtius. And I feel + more than ever that you were too drastic in your views and I + too weak in yielding to them...._ + + _We should always guard ourselves against the bees in our + bonnets. When I produced Zola’s ~Heirs of Rabourdin~, the + stage-manager said his play-actors couldn’t pronounce Monsieur, + Madame and Mademoiselle to his liking: might he try how it + would sound with Mr., Mrs., and Miss Rabourdin? He tried!_ + + _If your principle were carried to any length, you would + have to call a pagoda a tower, a jinrickshaw a buggy, + a café a coffee-house, a gendarme a policeman (i.e. a + ~sergent-de-ville~), a toga a cloak, a gondola a wherry, an + Alpenstock an Alpine stick, a ski a snowshoe: one could go on + for ever!_ + + _Yet I am ever yours,_ + + _Tex._ + +In the spring and summer of 1919 our letters became more frequent. +Though Teixeira spent most of his time in his department, I employed +the first months of liberation in staying with friends. The translation +of _The Tour_ went on apace; and arrangements were made for the English +publication of _Old People and the Things That Pass_. If he had given his +readers no other book by Couperus or by any other writer, he would still +have established two reputations with this. + + _It’s a funny thing, ~he writes~, 21.5.19; 4:57 a.m.; but I + find that I can no longer trs. Latin, even with a dictionary. + I suppose it’s because I can’t construe it. Would you mind + putting a line-and-a-bit of Ovid into English for me? Here it + is:_ + + Materian superabat opus, nam Mulciber illic + Æquora celarat. + + _... My intentions are to go down to I. for 5 or 6 days on the + 5th of June and to join my wife at Bexhill on or about the 18th + for 3 or 4 weeks._ + + _“Bexhill-on-Sea_ + _Is the haven for me,”_ + + _sang Clement Scott in a visitors’-book discovered by Max + Beerbohm, who tore him to pieces for it in the ~Saturday~, in + an article signed “Max.” Scott, pretending not to know who Max + was, flew to the ~Era~ and wrote his famous absurdity, “Come + out of your hole, rat!” Gad, how we used to laugh in those + days!..._ + +My reply began: + + _I resent your practice of heading your letters with the + unseemly time at which you leave a warm and comfortable bed. + ~And I dated my own~: 22 May, 1919. Cocktail-time. What would + you think of me if I headed my letters with the equally + unseemly time at which I sometimes go to bed? I have been + working so late one or two nights last week and this that the + times would coincide, and you might bid me good-morning as I + bade you good-night...._ + + _I went ... to a musical party.... I felt that it was incumbent + upon me to see whether you had done anything in the matter of + the Belgian quartette.[8] You will be shocked to hear that the + quartette is not only still in existence, but has added a + supernumerary to turn over the music of the pianist...._ + + _~On 7.6.19, he wrote from Somersetshire~: You are—it is borne + in upon me that you must be—a secret autograph-hunter. Here am + I, hoping to do nothing but sleep 26 hours out of the 24, to + do nothing ever, to the great ever; and here come you, hoping + for a letter, lest you be pained. A scripsomaniac, my poor + Stephen, a scripsomaniac you will surely be, if you do not + check yourself in time._ + + _Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! I know that I am Satan rebuking sin; + but was Satan ever better employed? Far rather would I see him + rebuking sin than prompting letters for idle hands to write._ + + _Well, I know that I am staying in Somersetshire with I., who + is at this moment speeding towards the Hôtel du Vieux Doelen + at the Hague, to nurse a sick friend. Ker pongsay voo der sah? + And I am happy as the day is long, petted and coddled by his + delightful mother, lolling from the morning unto the evening in + the open air and doing not one stroke of work. And utterly at + my ease, not even blushing when my brother cuckoo mocks me from + the tree-top, as he does sixty times to the minute._ + + _I return on the 12th; on the 13th I go cuckooing at the Wharf, + returning on the 16th; ... on the 18th I join my wife at + Bexhill; how, I ask you, can I come a-cuckooing in Lincoln’s + Inn?_ + + _Nor do see any chance of touching ~The Tour~ while I am here. + I am really too busy to do aught but play the sedulous cuckoo + in Cockayne. So let my visit to you be a pleasure (to both of + us) postponed...._ + + _~To this I replied, 14.7.19~: I lunched yesterday with one + Butterworth, who is opening up a publisher’s business. In the + course of conversation I mentioned to him your translation of + ~Old People and the Things that Pass~. More than that, I took + upon myself to lend him my copy of the American edition so that + he might have an opportunity of forming his own opinion of it. + You may, if you like, call me interfering and presumptuous, + but I have not committed you in any way to anything, and + yesterday’s transaction may be regarded as no more than the + loan of a book from one person to another. I, as you know, feel + it a reproach that that book is still unpublished in England, + and, if Butterworth thinks fit to make you a good offer, no one + will be better pleased than me...._ + + _~On 26.7.19 he wrote from Bexhill~: If it comes on to rain + as it threatens daily, I shall be returning ~The Tour~ to you + quite soon; and in any case it will go back to you before I + leave here on the 15th of July: I must reduce the weight of my + luggage; I had to run all over the town to find two stalwart + ruffians to carry it to the attic where I sleep._ + + _You need not look at it before we meet unless you wish; but + you may like to do Cora’s song[9] in your sleep meanwhile; and + my additional comments and queries are few._ + + _I am leading here that methodical humdrum life which alone + makes time fly. When I return to town you shall see me + occasionally at the opera, but not oftener than twice a + week. You will have to look for me, however, for I shall be + stalking behind pillars, cloaked in black, like Lucien de + What’s-his-name, hiding from my black beast, Lady...._ + + _P.S. Can you tell me if Beecham intends to do any light operas + at Drury Lane in addition to that tinkly, overrated ~Fille de + Madame Angot~? I am dying to hear the whole Offenbach series + before I die._ + +A letter from Bexhill, dated 2.7.19, touches on one general principle of +translating: + + _... With all deference, a translator’s first duty is not to + translate. His first duty is to love God, honour the king + and hate the Germans. His next duty is to produce a version + corresponding as near as may be with what an English original + writer, if he were writing that particular book, would set + down. His last duty is to translate every blessed word of the + original...._ + +Next day he wrote: + + _~T. B. [Thornton Butterworth]~ is taking “O. P.” ~[Old + People]~ and coming down here to see me on Saturday._ + + _Ever so many thanks for your generous offices in the + matter...._ + +On Peace Day, in a letter dated from Finsbury Circus, Teixeira writes: + + _Here sit I, putting in four or five hours before a train + leaves to take me to Herbert George and Jane Wells at Easton + Glebe and reading ~Quo Vadis~. Already, in 99 pages, I have + discovered 21 expressions which you would undoubtedly have + condemned in ~The Tour~._ + + _... This is interesting: ~[the author]~ says that in Nero’s + day it was already becoming a stunt among the Romans to call + the gods by their Greek Names. Tiberius was not so much + earlier—was he?—than Nero that the practice might not have + begun even then. If so, we can let Couperus have his way and + retain those few names. They are very few, I think. I can + remember at the moment only Aphrodite and Zeus and possibly + Eros. It may be that Juno is mentioned as Hera, but I doubt it._ + + _There is a charming garden, with a most beautifully kept lawn. + The flowers ... consist entirely of the only three that I + dislike: fuchsias, begonias and red geraniums._ + + _Still ..._ + + _I hope that you are spending the day as peacefully and that + this will find you well and happy...._ + + _Two east-end Jews within hail of me are talking Yiddish and + sharing a Daily Snail between them. There is a cat. There is or + am I. And there are those fuchsias._ + +On 18.8.19, I wrote: + + _The North of Ireland seems beating up for a storm, does not + it? I suppose there is no point in my reminding you that a + perfect gentleman would not fail to present himself at Euston + next Friday at 8.10 p.m. to tuck me into my sleeper and see + me safely off? My address in Ireland from Aug. 23rd to 31st + is (in the care of Sir John Leslie, Baronet) Glaslough, Co. + Monaghan...._ + + _At 8.10 on Friday, ~he replied, 20.8.19~, this perfect + gentleman will be eating his melon at Huntercombe Manor House, + Henley-on-Thames (in the care of Squire Nevile Foster), but + for which he would undoubtedly come to see you oft in the + stilly night. I wish you safely through the war-zone, happy + and interested in this, your first visit to Ireland and + prosperously home again. Now do not write and answer that you + have paid eighteen visits to Ireland before: those eighteen + visits have always been and always will be to my mind as + mythical as the travels of Mungo Park or Mendes Pinto...._ + +Feeling that I must acquaint Teixeira with my safe arrival in Ireland, I +wrote, 28.8.19: + + _Glaslough, Co. Monaghan._ + + _... I am here; yes, but how did I get here? I am here; yes, + but shall I ever get away? I left London on Friday with my + young and very lovely charge, encountered engine-trouble and + reached Holyhead an hour late. I sat on the boat-deck with + her (but without an overcoat), watching the dawn until I + was chilled to the marrow and any other man would have been + delirious with pneumonia. The breakfast-car train had left, so + we took a later one from Dublin. Being faced with the prospect + of waiting 2½ hours at Clones, I got out at Drogheda to send + a telegram to the Leslies, begging them to meet us there by + car. Unhappily, the train went on without me, bearing away my + young and very lovely charge, my suit-case, my despatch-box, my + umbrella and my hat. I was left with a pair of gloves and my + charge’s ticket.... I bought myself a cap of 4/6 and a clean + collar for /4d, and spent the day writing letters, contriving + epigrams and lunching off scrambled eggs and Irish whiskey._ + + _I have been taken to the McKenna grave at Donagh and + presented—by Shane—to the clan as its head, which I am + not. The recognition of Odysseus by his old nurse was + eclipsed by the recognition accorded me by an old woman who + remembered—unprompted—my coming to Glaslough twelve years ago + and thanked God that she had been spared to see me again. It is + a very lovely place that the Leslies have taken from us._ + + _But how to leave it? It is Horse Show week, and every sleeper + has been booked for three weeks. I shall have to cross from + Belfast to Liverpool, I think, and try to get my sleeping done + on the boat. And that means that I shall not be home till + Tuesday. Can’t be helped._ + +On 31.8.19 Teixeira wrote to greet me on my return from Ireland: + + _After your preliminary wanderings, my dear Stephen O’Dysseus, + welcome home again! You were always the worst courier in the + world; I’ve not ever known you to bring one of your young and + very lovely charges to her destination without encountering + cataclysmal adventures on the road.... Still, would that I had + known that you can buy collars, clean and therefore presumably + new collars, at Drogheda for fourpence apiece. Yesterday I paid + fifteen shillings for a dozen...._ + +On 21.12.19 he writes to offer me good wishes for Christmas: + + _The one and only thing that the Fortunate Youth appeared to + me not to possess will reach you in a little registered packet + to-morrow evening.... You are to accept it as a token of the + happiness which I wish you during this Christmas and the whole + of the coming year._ + + _That was a very jolly party on Wednesday: I enjoyed + everything: the gay and kindly company, the admirable + foodstuffs, even the music; and, if it be true, as I told you, + that Covent Garden has shrunk in size since my young days, I am + compelled to confess that your box was a larger than I ever saw + before._ + + _At this season of excess, ~he writes on Christmas Day~, I am + allowed to indulge my passion for chocolates, but not to buy + any for myself; and it was most thoughtful of you to pander to + my taste. Thank you ever so much. And thank you also for your + good wishes...._ + + _I must be off to mass, but not without first begging you to + hand your mother and sister my best wishes for a happy New + Year. As to you, I shall see or talk to you before then.... My + young Sinn Feiner has written a novel[10] which to my mind is + a most remarkable production and which will have to be read by + you at all costs. It is published in Dublin; and it is doubtful + whether a single other copy will find its way to this foreign + land._ + +In April Teixeira and his wife went to Hove: and on 27.4.20 he writes: + + _It is blowing what-you-may-call-it here: ’arf a mo’, ’arf a + brick, half a gale. Apart from that, we are well and send our + love._ + +Commenting on a house-party which I had described, he adds: + + _All we can do, my dear Stephen, is to ask you to remember the + old adage:_ + + _Birds of a feather flock together;_ + + _and the modern variants:_ + + _Birds of a beak meet twice a week;_ + _Birds of a voice share a Rolls-Royce;_ + _Birds of a kidney are Alf and Sydney;_ + _Birds of a tail are hail-fellow-hail;_ + _Birds of a crest are twins of the best;_ + _Birds of a gizzard are witch and wizzard;_ + _Birds of a chirrup are treacle and syrup;_ + _The hawk and the owl sit cheek by jowl._ + + _Yours ever, + Alexander and Lily Tex._ + +The next letter was from his wife and brought the news that Teixeira’s +health had taken an unexpected turn for the worse. His life was not in +immediate danger, but henceforward he must regard himself as an invalid +and must work under the conditions imposed by his doctor. + + + + +X + + +As soon as he was well enough to be moved, Teixeira came up from Hove +and, after a few days in Chelsea, went to a nursing-home in Crowborough +for the summer. + +Nothing is more characteristic of him than that the first message he sent +after the beginning of his illness was one of reassurance and optimism: + + _Sent you a wire this morning, ~he writes~, lest you be + seriously distressed. Really much better after nine hours’ + sleep.... I expect I shall be quite well by Saturday, when we + return but I shall have to be jolly careful...._ + + _Thanks for your letters, ~he writes, 8.5.20, when we were + arranging to meet~. Nothing you can do for me at present except + converse with me in the form of: Tex. Very short questions: + Stephen. Very long answers. I’m getting plaguily impatient + at the slowness of my recovery: it’s very wrong, wicked and + impatient of me._ + + _I enclose._ + + _A. Two lines from your favourite “poet” (save the Mark + Tapley)!_ + + _B. Some wedding-effusions which remind me that Burne-Jones, + when they told him that marriage was a lottery, said:_ + + _“Then it ought to be made illegal.”_ + +While undergoing his rest-cure, he not infrequently communicated with me +by means of annotations to the letters which I wrote him. His comments +are given in parenthesis. + + _I ... went to see ~As You Like It~ at the Lyric Theatre, + Hammersmith, ~I wrote, 15.5.20~. It is a good production but + an uncommonly bad play, like so many of that author’s. If any + dramatist of the present day served up that kind of musical + comedy without the music, but with all the existing purple + patches, I wonder what your modern critic would make of it._ + + _(Laurence Irving used to go about saying, “Teixeira says + that Shakespeare wrote only one decent play: ~Timon of + Athens!~ Wha-art d’ye think of that? The mun’s mud!” Talking + of Shakespeare, if you want to laugh, really to laugh, ~ce + qu’on appelle~ to laugh, read (you will never see it acted) a + stage-play called ~Titus Andronicus~....)_ + + _(Help! A man waved to me on the lawn y’day: an Ebrew Jew ... + had motored down to see his sister here; told me I’d find her + very “bright.” She’s fifty ~bien sonnés~. Told him I’d feel too + shy to talk to anybody for weeks. But I’m lending her books. + Help!)_ + +Strictly limited in the amount of work which he was allowed to do, +Teixeira in these weeks read voraciously; and his letters of this period +contain almost the only critical judgements that I was able to extract +from him. + +On 25.5.20. he writes: + + _Was Pearsall Smith the inventor of the pedigree tracing the + descent of the English from the ten lost tribes of Israel?_ + + _Isaac_ + | + | + _Isaacson_ + | + | + _Saxon_ + + _What was the other famous book, besides ~Erewhon~, which + George Meredith (whom I am beginning to dislike almost as much + as Henry James and Pearl Craigie) caused Smith, Elder & Co. to + reject? Was it ~Treasure Island~ or something quite different?_ + + _Which Samuel Butlers am I to buy now? I have (in the order of + which I have enjoyed them):_ + + The Way of all Flesh + Alps and Sanctuaries + The Notebooks + Erewhon Revisited + Erewhon + + _The machinery part of the last-named bored me; the philosophy + also; and I fear I missed much of the irony. But the style! + It’s unbeaten. It’s as good as Defoe. It knocks Stevenson silly + because it’s so utterly natural. Hats off to that for style._ + + _Should I enjoy ~The Humour of Homer~, though knowing nothing + or little about Homer? ~The Authoress of the Odyssey~: would + this be wasted on me? What is ~The Fair Haven~ about? I don’t + want to read Butler’s religious views—all you Britons think + and talk and write much too much about religion—nor his views + on evolution: he is too much in sympathy, I gather, with that + dishonest fellow, Darwin._ + + _What shall I read of that same Darwin, so that I may do my own + chuckling? Please name the best two or three, in their order + as written._ + + _Where shall I find the quarrels between Huxley and Darwin? + That accomplished gyurl, my stepdaughter, had read all about + them before she was sixteen but was unable to point me to the + book._ + + _At your leisure, my dear Stephen, answer me all these + questions. As you see, I’m making progress. I have neither + capacity nor inclination (thank God) for work yet, but I can + read day without end._ + + _Pearsall Smith’s ~Stories from the Old Testament~ would amuse + you. It’s too dear; but it would amuse you, in parts._ + +In discussing Darwin’s books, I suggested that Teixeira should find out +whether the members of his church were encouraged to read them. + +He replies, 28.5.20: + + _... I am very glad that Darwin is on the Index and I hope that + this interferes with his royalties...._ + +And on 2.6.20: + + _Pray bear with a postcard. I noticed that you used “detour” on + two occasions.... I sympathize. There’s no English equivalent + save Tony Lumpkin’s seriocomic “circumbendibus.” But I meant to + tell you of my recent discovery that Chesterton uses “detour,” + ~sic~ without an accent or italics. And it’s well worth + considering. I, for my part, have made up my mind to adopt + it in future, by analogy with “depot” and, for that matter, + “tour,” which is never italicized._ + + _I also intend to adopt your “judgement”...._ + + _What a lot one can still write for a penny!_ + + _Tex._ + +In acknowledging one of his translations, I wrote: + + _Two of my worst faults as a reader are that I always finish a + book which I have begun and always begin a book which has been + presented to me by the author or translator._ + +Teixeira comments: + + _(I always thought highly of your brain till now. I regret to + tell you that the only other human being who has ever confessed + that vice to me is J. T. Grein’s mother.... Drop that vice. + Why, I once “began” to read the Bible!...)_ + + _With most of your criticisms I agree, ~my letter continued. + Teixeira had been reading the manuscript of some short + stories;~ though there are one or two points on which I remain + adamant. If you wish to shorten your life, ask any Coldstreamer + whether he belongs to the Coldstreams. It is always either the + Coldstream Guards or the Coldstream...._[11] + + _(I suspected you of being right, but I was not ashamed to ask + you. You may or may not have observed how much less of a snob + I am than most of the people you strike. Cricketing terms, + nautical terms, military terms, Latin quantities, those endless + excuses for the worst forms of British snobbery, all leave me + cold.)_ + +In discussing methods of work, he writes: + + _(... It will interest you to know that Oscar Wilde dropped + all his pleasures when he wrote his plays; retired into rooms + in St. James’ Place, hired ~ad hoc~, to write the first line; + and did not leave them till he had written the last. And one + of them at least, ~The Importance~, was a perfect work of art, + whatever one may think of the others.)_ + +Though he enjoyed his rest-cure, it gave him—he complained—no news to +communicate: + + _You’re not interested in my brown dog and I speak to no one + else._ + +On my pointing out that I could not be interested in an animal of which I +had hitherto not heard, Teixeira wrote, 4.6.20: + + _... It must have been my morbid delicacy that prevented me, + knowing your dislike of dogs, from mentioning the brown dog + before. As a man gains strength, he loses delicacy: that + explains though it does not excuse my late reference to him. + He is an Irish terrier, endowed with a vast sense of humour, + who runs about on three legs (which is one more than I, who am + eighteen times his age, can boast) and plays with me from ten + till half-past six (when I go to bed). He saves me from all + boredom and I am grateful to him...._ + + _Little by little I am beginning to itch for work.... I can’t + work yet; but I regard the itching as a good sign. And I no + longer find these longish letters so much of a strain. It takes + a lot to kill a Portugal._[12] + + _Bring me to the gentle remembrance of your charming host and + hostess. I wonder if I shall ever meet either of them at one + of your pleasant dinners again. I wonder if I shall ever dine + with you again at all...._ + +On 8.6.20 he writes: + + _... I send you a letter from ... a Beaumont master and + scholastic in minor orders. Apart from its nice misspelling, + its noble, broad-minded casuistry will explain to you why + I love the Church, as it explains to me why you hate it. + ~Cependant~ I suppose that I must set to work and read me a + little Darwin._ + + _I am making fair progress, as my recent letters must have + proved to you. But I do not yet consider myself near enough to + complete recovery to return to town...._ + +In June Teixeira was created a Chevalier of the Order of Leopold II. My +letter of congratulation was annotated on this and other subjects: + +Referring to a criticism of _Kipps_, I had written: + + _It is excellent stuff, and I always regard Wells as being one + of the ... greatest ... comedy-writers. But I always feel that + in ~Kipps~ and all the earlier books he is only working up to + ~Mr. Polly~, which is the most exquisite thing that he has + done in that line._ + + _(I have read both down here and prefer ~Kipps~. The phrases + underlined, quoted in the ~Times~ notice (attached) of Wells’ + Polly-Kippsian “~History of the World~” reminds me irresistibly + of the old lady who, witnessing a performance of “~Anthony and + Cleopatra~,” by your Mr. Shakespeare or our Mr. Shaw, observed: + “How different from the home life of our dear queen!”)_ + + _... Let me offer you—a trifle belatedly perhaps—my + congratulations on your new dignity._ + + _(“Thanks.” A. Kipps)_ + + _Certainly you should tell the ~[Belgian]~ Ambassador that + it is not only inconvenient but impossible for you to be + invested in person and that he must send you the warrant and + insignia...._ + + _Did I ever tell you the story of Mr. G.’s search for a + decoration? The Kaiser refused to give him one on any + consideration, and he therefore toured Europe, lending or + giving money to one government after another in the hope of + being ultimately rewarded with the 4th class of the Speckled + Pig. In every court he was promised his decoration, but, when + he presented himself for the investiture, the court officials + turned from him with just that expression of loathing and + nausea which he had formerly observed on the face of the + Kaiser. It was only when he reached Bulgaria that he found the + Czar and his court less squeamish. On payment of a considerable + solatium he was invested with the 19th class of the Expiring + Porpoise and returned in triumph to his native Stettin. Here, + however, his troubles were only beginning, as he was unable to + obtain permission to wear the Expiring Porpoise at any public + function in Germany. Seeing that he had paid one considerable + sum to the Bulgarian Czar and another to the firm of jewellers, + who substituted diamonds for the paste of the jewel he felt, + naturally enough, that he was receiving little value for his + lavish expenditure. Bulgaria, it seemed, was the only country + where the Expiring Porpoise could be worn. Accordingly he + returned to Sofia and paid a further sum to be invited to the + banquet which the burgomaster of Sofia was giving on the Czar’s + birthday. Here he was at length rewarded for so many months of + disappointment and neglect. Before the soup had been served, + the Czar had hurried round to his place and was kissing him on + both cheeks. “My dear old friend!” said he, “No, you are not to + call me ‘sir’; henceforth it is ‘Fritz’ and ‘Ferdinand’ between + us, is it not? How long it is since last I saw you! I have been + waiting to express my heart-felt regret for the unpardonable + carelessness of my Chamberlain. When it was too late and you + had left Sofia (I feared for ever), my Chamberlain discovered + that you had been invested with the 19th Class of the Expiring + Porpoise. You must have thought me mad, for no sane man would + offer the 19th class to a person of your distinction. It was + the 1st class that I intended. This bauble that I am wearing + round my neck to-night. Tell me, my dear Fritz, that it is not + too late for me to repair my error.” With that word the Czar + removed the collar and jewel from his own neck and slipped it + over the head of G. taking in exchange G.’s despised collar and + jewel of the 19th class. It was only when our friend returned + to his hotel that he discovered the new jewel to be of the most + unfinished paste, as cheap or cheaper than the paste which he + had previously removed at such expense from the jewel of the + 19th class._ + + _(This is a splendid story.)_ + + _I am afraid, ~I added~, that I have no idea who is the + official to whom you apply for leave to wear these things...._ + + _(My dear Stephen, you had better here and now adopt as your + maxim what I said to Browning soon after he had engaged my + services on behalf of H.M.G.: “I yield to no man living in + my ignorance on every subject under the sun.” You outdo and + outvie me. You never know anything. In other words, you know + nothing. But I’ll wager that these are worn without permission. + What’s the penalty? ~The Morning Post~ to-day names a couple of + dozen to whom it’s been granted.)_ + +Evidently feeling that I was living too much alone, Teixeira enclosed a +copy of _The Times’_ list of forthcoming dances: + + (_Don’t wait for invitations, ~he urged in a postscript~. Ring + the top bell and walk inside._) + +The next letter needs to have Teixeira’s use of the word palimpsest +explained. His good-nature in reading his friends’ manuscripts was +inexhaustible. I never intended him to do more than give me a general +opinion; but his critical vision was microscopic, and he filled the +margins with questions and comments. In returning me one manuscript, he +wrote: + + _I have made some 800 notes, of which 600 are purely frivolous. + Six are worth serious attention._ + +While this textual scrutiny was quite invaluable, Teixeira seldom gave +that general opinion of which I always felt in most need at the moment +when I had lately finished a book and was unable to regard it with +detachment. Accordingly, the manuscript, on leaving him, was usually sent +to another friend, who commented not only on the text but also on the +marginalia. As her occasional controversies with Teixeira (expressed in +such minutes as: + +“Pull yourself together, Mr. T!” + +“You men! One’s as bad as the other, you know.” + +“Never mind what Mr. T. says, Stephen: _I_ understand.” + +“I _wish_ my brain worked as quickly as that.”) + +and with me invited rejoinders, the first version of a manuscript +sometimes took on the appearance of a contentious departmental file. It +was in this form that Teixeira called it a palimpsest. + +On 22.6.20 he writes: + + _Thanks for your letter and the palimpsest.... I’ve studied it + amid distressing circumstances, in a long-chair, on a lawn, + beneath the sun, surrounded by breezes and patients, who being + forbidden to speak to me, dare not help me to collect the + scattered pages...._ + + _Lady D. is another of England’s darlings. In the first place, + she nearly always agrees with me and there she’s right: I have + told you time after time that, if only everybody would agree + with me, the world would be an infinitely sweeter place. In + the second place, she dislikes Browning almost as much as I + do. No one can dislike him quite so much; but she certainly + disapproves of your particular taste in extracts from the + burjoice mountebank’s rhymed works._ + + _I can understand that she sometimes unsettles you by + condemning you for the quite logical behaviour of the male + characters in your trilogy: you might meet this by presenting + her with a copy of ~Thus spake Zarathustra~ in addition to + those pencils which will mark which you already had in mind for + her. On the other hand, I think that you may safely take her + word for it when she says:_ + + _“Oh, Stephen, women aren’t like this!”_ + + _Send me more! Send me more!_ + +In a letter of 22.6.20, he wrote: + + _To-morrow I make my way up to Oxford for the House Gaudy but + before leaving I may find a moment to report my movements._ + +Teixeira comments: + + _I have heard of the House Beautiful but never of the House + Gaudy. Now don’t be a British snob but answer like a little + Irish gentleman, as I should answer if you asked me what + “acht-en-tachtig Achtergracht” mean in Dutch. Of course, + working it out in the light of my own intelligence, I feel + that, if “House” is an Oxford sobriquet for Christ Church and + “gaudy” Oxford slang for a merrymaking of sorts, you ought to + have suppressed that capital G and written “the House gaudy,” + in distinction from the Balliol gaudy, the Magdalen gaudy, etc._ + + _You are not a Hottentot (Loud cheers), but you are as fond of + capital letters as a Hottentot is of glass beads._ + + _I’m feeling rather full of beans to-day ... (as you + perceive.)..._ + +The improvement was visibly maintained in his letter of 25.6.20: + + _Thanks for your two letters of the 23rd and 24th instant + postum. Don’t start; instant postum is the ridiculous name of + the toothsome beverage which my specialist ordered me to take + instead of tea or coffee...._ + + _I jump at the chance of playing the schoolmaster in the matter + of those capital letters. It is too utterly jolly finding you + in a compliant mood...._ + + _My rule and yours might well be to start with a definite + prejudice against capital letters in the middle of a sentence, + combined with a resolve never to use them if it can be + avoided. Having taken up this firm standpoint, we can afford + and we can begin to make concessions. For instance, my heart + leapt with joy, nearly twenty years ago, when the founders of + the ~Burlington Review~ decided to abolish all capitals to + adjectives, to print “french, german, egyptian, persian,” etc. + You have no idea how well this affected the page. But what is + all right in a majestic review (or was it magazine, by the + way?) like the ~Burlington~ may look ultraprecious in a novel. + Therefore I concede French, German, etc. Only remember that it + is a concession, a concession to Anglo-American vulgarity. A + Frenchman writes (and that not invariably: I mean, not every + Frenchman). “Un Français les Anglais,” but (invariably) “L’elan + français, le rosbif anglais”. The Germans and Danes begin all + nouns with a capital (as the English did, in some centuries), + but no adjectives whatever. The Italians, Norwegians and + Swedes have no capitals to their adjectives; the Dutch are + gradually discarding them; they are discarded entirely in + scientists’ Latin: the Narbonne Lycosa (a certain spider of the + Tarantula genus) in Latin becomes ~Lycosa narbonniensis~...._ + + _Your question about “high mass” is, involuntarily, not quite + fair. Mass quite conceivably comes within the category of such + words as State and a few others, which are spelt with a capital + in one sense and not in another.[13] I write “going to mass” + (no French catholic would write “allant à la Messe!”) and I + see no reason why catholics should write Mass except in a + technical work. They would write “the Host” because of the real + presence; but I see no more reason for the Mass than for Matins + or Compline. Obviously, it is different in a technical work in + translating Fabre, I speak of a Wasp, a Spider, a Beetle; in + translating Couperus, I do not...._ + + _“The Colonel, the Major, the Vicar,” in a novel; don’t they + set your teeth on edge? As well write about the Postmistress of + the village._ + + _When in doubt, as I wrote to you on the subject of the + hyphenated nouns, take little Murray[14] for your guide. He + has the sense to begin the vast, the immense majority of his + words with a lower-case letter. And there are doubtful words: + Titanic, Cyclopean. I never know these without turning ’em up + for myself._ + + _To sum up:_ + + _(a) take a firm stand against capitals generally;_ + + _(b) be prepared to make moderate (i.e. grudging,) concessions;_ + + _(c) have little Murray at your elbow._ + +After so long a letter, Teixeira contented himself with a few annotations +to one next day. + +On my telling him that I had congratulated a common friend of his son’s +“blue”, he interposed: + + (_I would write to A. P. if I knew what a “blue” was; but I + really have not the remotest idea. Word of honour, I’m not + conniegilchristing. I presume it has to do with cricket; and + it’s a mere guess._) + + _I have studied your exposition of capitals, ~I continued~, + with great interest and, I hope, profit, though there is a + fundamental difficulty which I hasten to put before you.... So + long as proper names intrude their capitals into mid-sentence + you cannot arrive at flat uniformity, and a few capitals more + or less do not offend me...._ + + _I did not intend to be unfair about High Mass and first + thought of suggesting for your consideration either Holy + Communion or that hideous, hypocritical, pusillanimous + compromise beloved of Anglicans, the “eucharist,” then + substituted the name of a ceremonial in your own church. You, I + see, write of the Real Presence without capitals._ + + (_Gross knavery and insincerity on my part; rank scoundrelism. + I’d have put caps, on any other occasion._) + + _I should give capitals to this and to such words as + Incarnation, Crucifixion and Ascension, when used in a + religious connection. Also to the word Hegira and any similar + words culled from any other religion. As I told you before, + I am without a rule and would let almost any word have its + capital, if I could please it thereby. Words used in a special + sense also have their capitals from me, as for example Hall, + when that means a college dinner served in hall. No, I am + afraid that a capital for colonel, major and vicar leaves my + teeth unmoved, and I could write postmistress with a capital + light-heartedly. On the other hand I should not use a capital + for dustman, as this is not a title or office._ + + _I am, as you see, quite illogical and inconsistent; and, if + I try to follow your rules, it will be only in the hope of + pleasing you. I cannot rouse myself to any enthusiasm for or + against a liberal use of capitals and I do not think that it is + a matter of great importance. On considerations of comeliness, + I think the French printed page, with its vile type and + vile, fluffy paper, is one of the ugliest things (Nonsense, + nonsense, you unæsthetic Celt! The unsought, natural beauty + and perfection of the page make up for all the inferiority of + the material. Never say that again! Your friend Seymour Leslie + would scratch and claw you for it.) ever allowed to issue from + a printing press, but that may be only insular prejudice...._ + + _Forgive a boring letter, I beg, but I am in a thoroughly + boring mood. (Grawnted.)..._ + +A postscript to this controversy came on a postcard dated 28.6.20: + + _... Darwin spells “the king” with a small “k.”_ + + _He is rather good in spelling, bad in punctuation, execrable + in statement, logic, deduction. In ~The Descent of Man~ he + says:_ + + _“Music arouses in us various emotions, but not the + more terrible ones of horror, fear, rage, etc.”_ + + _He had never heard of me, though I was 17 when he died._ + + _Tex._ + + _Crowborough, 30 June (alas, how time flies!) 1920._ + + _For your two letters of 28, 29 June, many thanks. I really + can’t write and congratulate H. on ~that~! How awful!_ + + _And to think that, if Lionel ~[the recipient of the “blue”]~ + had been “vowed” to the B.V.M. in his infancy, he’d have worn + nothing but blue and white, anyhow, till he came of age!..._ + +Objecting to my having enclosed the phrase “honest broker” in inverted +commas, he continues: + + _Lady Y., you may remember, said:_ + + _“Good beobles, we come here for your goots.”_ + + _“Ay,” they replied, “and for our chattels too!”_ + + _I don’t want your chattels; but I am convinced that I came + to England for your goots and to save you from degenerating + into a lady novelist. The worst of it is that Lady D. agreed + with you.... Seriously, however: suppose Winston were to use + a perfectly commonplace metaphor, to say, ~e.g.~, that he had + ordered the Gallipoli expedition off his own bat. Would that + for all time raise those four words from the commonplace to + the exceptional? Could you never employ that phrase except in + “quotes”?..._ + + _Be sensible. Do not fight against your rescuer. Let me, when I + receive the Royal Humane Society’s medal, feel that my gallant + efforts were not in vain, that I succeeded in saving your life + and soul!..._ + + _P.S. An invitation to the ... Oppenheim wedding has just + arrived. Like the man who answered the big-game-hunter’s + advertisement, I’m not going._[15] + + _Trusting that this will find you alive, ~he writes 7.7.20~, + I write to thank you for your letter and to return the book. + ~[The Diary of a Nobody]~. It amused me, though I am not + prepared to go as far as Rosebinger, Birringer or Bellinger. + I could certainly furnish a bedroom without it; in fact, I + hope to die before I read it again; I don’t rank it with Don + Quixote; and I have never seen the statue of St. John the + Baptist, so “can’t say.” I think that Mr. Hardfur Huttle, + towards the end, does much to cheer the reader._ + + _I have bought pahnds and pahnds’ worth of books; I am + rou-inned; and yet I never have aught to read. Can you lend me + Huxley’s Collected Essays? Can you lend me anything in which + somebody “goes for” somebody else? I yearn to read savage + attacks; you know what I mean: not attaxi-cabri-au lait, but + attacks free from all milk of human kindness._ + + _Here is a typical quotation from your favourite “poet”, whom, + by the way, Benjamin Beaconsfield disliked as much as I do:_ + + “Out of the wreck I rise, past Zeus to the P(sic)otency o’er + him.” + + _Nice and typical, isn’t it? But you mustn’t use it, as the + first six words form the title of a novel by Beatrice Harraden + which I have been driven to read down here by the dearth of + books._ + + _My last two purchases have just arrived; series i and ii of + the New Decameron. Shall I enjoy them?..._ + + _You will want something to read in the train, ~he writes on + 10.7.20~. Read this Muddiman’s ~Men of the Nineties~. But + please return it to me; it will serve to keep the child quiet + when she next comes down. And it served to make me feel very + young again (seven years younger than you are now) to read + of all those remarkable men with whom I foregathered in the + nineties._ + + _They would probably have accepted Squire and Siegfried + Sassoon.[16] None of the other poets; none of the + prose-writers, painters, “blasters” or blighters...._ + +In acknowledging the book, I objected to what I considered the excessive +importance that is still attached to the men of the nineties and to +their work: + + _I doubt, ~I wrote, 12.7.20~, whether the years 1890 to 1900 + have produced more permanent literature of the first order + than any other decade of the 19th century—or the twentieth. + Paris was discovered anew in those days and seemed a tremendous + discovery, though its influence was meretricious, and the + imitations from the French were usually of the worst French + models. The discovery of art for art’s sake was, I always feel, + the most meaningless and pretentious of all other shams. Even + Wilde never made clear what he meant by the phrase, though + he and his school interpreted it practically by a wholly + decadent over-elaboration of decoration. The interest of the + period lies in the astounding success achieved by this noisy + and self-sufficient coterie in imposing itself on the easily + startled, and easily shocked and still more easily impressed + middle and upper classes of London society. But that is a thing + that so many people can do and a thing that is so seldom worth + doing._ + +In a later letter, I added, 15.6.20: + + _I believe that the great bubble of the nineties has been + pricked for the present generation. All the work of Max, most + of Beardsley and a little of Wilde have a permanent place; + and, if some one would do for the poets and essayists of the + nineties what Eddie Marsh has done for the Georgian poets, we + might have one volume of moderate size containing the poetry + of interest and good craftsmanship though of little power or + originality...._ + + _Whether ~[the artistic movement of the nineties]~ effected + any great liberation of spirit or manner from the fetters of + mid-Victorian literature I cannot say, though I am inclined + to doubt it. That liberation was being achieved by individual + writers such as Meredith and Kipling, who never had anything + to do with the domino-room of the Cheshire Cheese. Never, I am + sure, was any artistic group so void of humour as the men of + the nineties._ + + _Having damned them, their period and work so far, I may + surprise you by conceding that they do still arouse great + interest.... I have been thinking that it is almost your duty + to put on permanent record your own knowledge and opinions + about this school. Max Beerbohm is unlikely to do it, and you + must now be one of the very few men living who were on terms + of intimacy with the leaders of the movement.... Men under + thirty have never heard of John Gray, Grackanthorpe or your + over advertised American friend Peters. Your annotations to + Muddiman’s book go some very little distance towards filling + this gap, but I think you should undertake something more + substantial. For heaven’s sake do not call it ~The History + of the Nineties~, but is there any reason why you should + not—from your memory and without consulting a single work of + reference—compile a little book of ~Notes on the ’Nineties~? + Make it an informal dictionary of biography, put down all the + names of the men associated with that movement at leisure, + record about each everything that has not yet appeared in + print and correct the occasionally incorrect accounts of other + writers. Such a book would be a valuable addition to literary + history, it would be amusing and not difficult for you to + write, it could be turned to the profit of your reputation and + pocket...._ + +For this criticism Teixeira took me to task in his letter of 14.7.20. + + _And now, Stephen, tremble. How often have I not called you + “the wise youth!” How constantly have I not believed you to + be filled with knowledge, either acquired or instinctive + and intuitive, of most things! And now your letter ... has + disappointed me almost to tears._ + + _Your only excuse would be that you took Oscar Wilde and + Bernard Shaw to be and practically alone to be the men of + the nineties. That is not so. And, if you agree with me that + Oscar was a man of the eighties and that Shaw is a man of the + twentieth century, you have no excuse whatever and 98% of the + first paragraph in your letter is dead wrong._ + + _I presume that you keep copies of your letters to me: you + should; they will be useful for your ~Memoirs of a Celibate~ + (~John Murray: 1950; 105/- net~). Anyhow, here goes:_ + + _There was no question of either a literary revival or + revolution in the nineties and there was no sham, colossal or + minute._ + + _The men engaged were not pretentious, not conceited, not + humbugs. They were a group of men, mostly under 30, who just + wrote and drew and painted as well as they could, in all + sincerity and with no view of financial gain. Dowson, Johnson, + Horner, Image, etc., etc., etc., were the humblest, most modest + lot of literary men I ever met._ + + _Their output was not immense: it was infinitesimal, just + because they were so careful to produce only work that was + “just so.” Think, Stephen. What did Henry Harland, one of the + few to live to over 40, put out? ~The Cardinal’s Snuff Box~, + ~My Friend Prospers~, ~Mademoiselle Miss and Other Stories~: + that is all! Ernest Dowson: two slim volumes of verse, + half-a-dozen short stories, a collaborator’s share in two + novels. John Gray: one slim volume of verse. Lionel Johnson: + God knows how little. And so on. Arthur Symns has worked on + steadily, but, though he is getting on for sixty, you cannot + say that his output is immense or contains anything that was + not worth doing._ + + _Immensely advertised! Where? And by whom?_ + + _Beardsley’s output was immense, for his years. Ought not the + world to be grateful for it? He told me once that he had an + itch for work; and it looked afterwards as if he knew that he + was doomed to die at 24 or 26 and wanted to throw off all he + could before. When he worked no one knew: no one ever saw him + at work and he was always about and always accessible._ + + _He was not conceited.... Rickets and Shannon were a little + conceited: they had a way of “coming the Pope” over the rest, + as Will Rothenstein once put it to me. (Will always took “a + proper pride” in his excellent work, but no more). But, Lord, + hadn’t they the right to be? Was ever a book more beautifully + designed than ~Silverpoints~ (cover, page, type, typesetting by + Ricketts)? Place Ricketts’ cover of the ~Pageant~ beside any + other book in your library and tell me how it strikes you. Look + at anything that Charles Shannon condescends to exhibit in the + Academy and see how the quality of it slays everything around + it exactly as a picture by Whistler or Rossetti would do._ + + _To revert to immensity of output (I have to keep levanting + and tacking about), I call immense the output of Belloc (the + modern Sterne), Chesterton (the modern Swift), E. V. Lucas + (the modern Addison); they themselves would be flattered at + the comparisons. These chaps, though they can and sometimes do + write as well as the men of the nineties, spoil their average + by writing immensely; and they write immensely because they + want a good deal of money. Now the men of the nineties hadn’t + clubs, homes, wives or children; lunched for a shilling; dined + for eighteen pence; and didn’t want a lot of money. They cared + neither for money nor fame; they cared for their own esteem and + that of what you call their coterie and I their set._ + + _And that (to answer a question which you once asked me) is art + for art’s sake; and I maintain that it is not right to call + this meaningless or pretentious or a sham._ + + _This coterie, or set, was not noisy: I never met a quieter; it + was self-sufficient only in the best sense; and it in no way + imposed or impressed itself on the middle and upper classes of + London society. How could they? I doubt if any number of the + ~Savoy~ ever sold 1,000 copies; certainly no number ever sold + 2,000. And they ... were never in society, were never in the + outskirts of society and never wanted to be in either._ + + _But there! I daresay you were thinking of Oscar all the + time...._ + + _Enter on the lawn a nurse bearing my dinner-tray. After dinner + I retire to bed...._ + + _One day, ~Teixeira added, 17.7.20~, I’ll return to those men + of the nineties (I will never write a book about them: really I + was too much outside them)...._ + + _I trust that some Leonard Merricks are on the way: I’m nigh + starved for books again. Don’t send me Zola or Balzac in + English: I couldn’t stomach the translations. And I expect + you’re right about Balzac’s French style. Those giants were + awful chaps: Balzac, Rubens, the pylon-designing Baines, + brrr!..._ + +On 22.7.20 he writes: + + _I beseech you, if you haven’t it, buy yourself a copy of ~The + Home Life of Herbert Spencer. By “Two.”~ It is the book + praised by “Rozbury” in his letter to Arrowsmith prefacing + ~The Diary of a Nobody~. I bought it and began to shake with + laughter at Rosebery’s being such an ass. But, after a few + pages, I began to see what he meant; and then, time after time, + I nearly rolled off my long-chair with laughing not at Rosebery + but with him. I’d lend it you, but it’ll only cost you 3/6; and + I want you to have it as a companion volume to ~The Diary~._ + + _However, if you will not buy it, I will lend it to you. You’ve + “got” to read it, or I will never write you another letter._ + +And on 23.7.20: + + _Some 32 years ago, “Pearl Hobbes” wrote to me that I ought to + translate Balzac; and I am sorry it is too late for me to do + ~Goriot~. I am rereading it all the same with much enjoyment, + though I think that these gala editions should be at least as + well translated as my Lutetian set of six Zola novels._ + + _Huxley, in his little autobiography, writes:_ + + _“As Rastignac, in the Père Goriot, says to Paris, I said to + London:_ + + _“‘A nous deux!’”_ + + _I remembered that this came at the end of the book, turned to + it and found:_ + + _“Rastignac ... saw beneath him Paris, ... The glance he darted + on this buzzing hive seemed in advance to drink its honey, + while he said proudly:_ + + _“‘Now for our turn—hers and mine.’”_ + + _An epigrammatic tag sadly boshed, I think._ + + _I find that “leave them nothing but their eyes to weep with” + occurs in this book; so we must absolve poor old Bismark at any + rate from inventing this bloodthirsty phrase._ + + _And I find the Ukraine mentioned! The Ukraine! The dear old + Ukraine! A sweet land of which I—and you? be honest! had never + heard before the days of the W.T.I.D._ + + _I have sent for a complete set of Heine from Heinemann; it + just occurred to me that I have read little of this great + man’s. And I am told that the translation is good...._ + + _Do E. and J., ~he asks, 26.7.20~, ever perpetrate those plays + upon words of which Heine was so fond? They are not exactly + puns; I am not sure that quodlibets isn’t the word for them. + E.G.: Herr von Schnabelowpski smites the heart of a Dutch + hotel-proprietress. Over the real china cups she gazes at him + porcela(i)nguidly._ + + _That is not a very good example. This one is better: Heine + calls on Rothschild at Frankfurt. Rothschild receives him quite + famillionairly._ + + _Good-bye. It threatens rain; and I propose to spend the day + in bed, with the proofs of ~The Inevitable~...._ + +A criticism of Plarr’s Life of Dowson leads Teixeira, 27.7.20, to +annotate the letter that contained it: + + _... I was suggesting, I wrote, that the effect ... on the + minds of a generation which knew not Dowson would be to make it + feel that it did not want to know him...._ + + _(Your cecession from catholicism, he replies, has done you + McKennas a lot of harm. You flout tradition and go in for + rational inference and deduction in its place. Horrible, + horrible! The apostles are not all dead; many of them are your + living contemporaries; you could, if you like, receive at first + hand their memories of their dead fellows; and you prefer to + make up your own mistaken impressions in the light of your own + mistaken intellect. Well, well!_ + + _And, if you write just that sort of life of me, I’ll wriggle + with pleasure in my coffin.)_ + + _This evening Henry Arthur Jones is giving a dinner ... to + James M. Beck.... I have been bidden to attend...._ + + _(Beck is the finest orator I ever heard; and I’ve heard + Gladstone ~inter alios~._ + + _Those Heine quodlibets about which I wrote y’day are, I + believe, called “split puns,” though I doubt the happiness of + the term. I made one in my sleep this morning: rowdies on the + Brighton road indulging in a charabanquet....)_ + + _I can never have news, as you may imagine, ~writes Teixeira, + 29.7.20~; my letters must be always replies to yours...._ + + _I like your Cave-Brown-Cave story if it was true; it probably + was, as a family of that name exists._[17] + + _I never heard John Redmond, I am sorry to say. He was, so to + speak, after my time. I heard Parnell and, if I were only a + mimic, could give you his curiously contemptuous, high-bred, + high-pitched voice to-day. I heard Randolph; and at the time, + in the eighties, both he and Arthur Balfour used to lisp. Does + A. B. lisp now? Answer this: it interests me; and it has a sort + of bearing on that passing-fashion competition which you were + starting. So essential to birth and breeding was the lisp in + those days that even the English-bred Comte de Paris lisped ... + in French! I was at his silver wedding and well remember his + reception of me._ + + “Vouth êtes le bienvenu ithi!” + + _Incidentally I remember that good King Edward (“then Prince of + Wales,” as the memoir-writers say) glared at me furiously on + that occasion, because I was wearing trousers of the identical + pattern as his: an Urquhart check with a pink line...._ + +In the course of a dinner-party given at this time, the conversation +turned on those men and women who had won everlasting renown with the +least effort or justification. The United States Ambassador (Mr. Davis) +proposed Eutychus, of whom little is known but that he fell asleep during +a sermon and tumbled from a window: I suggested the uncaring Gallio, who +did less and is better known. Some one else put forward Melchisedec. +Agreeing that every name in the Bible has a certain immortality, we +turned to secular history. At the subsequent instigation of Mr. Davis, +Lord Curzon of Kedleston propounded “the apple-bearing son of William +Tell.” I invited Teixeira to give his opinion. + + _I can’t compete with Curzon, ~he replied on 6.8.20~, though + I’ve tried. After all, he was one of the Souls! I did think + of Alfred and the cakes; but that monarch owes only 5/6 of + his immortality to those cakes and young Tell owed all his to + the apple. But stay! Many hold Tell and his offspring to be + mythical persons. If so, what about the good wife who scolded + Alfred? I should like you to find some one who will say that I + have beaten Curzon...._ + + _I shall be in town from 8 September to a few days later. + If you want to see me, you must arrange your engagements + accordingly. I am the colour which we can never get our brown + shoes to assume till just before the moment when they drop off + our feet. But I am as weak as ten thousand rats...._ + +On 7.8.20 he writes: + + _You will remember that ... I declined to join your Passing + Fashion Research Society, or whatever you decided to call it. + But I have no objection to being an honorary corresponding + member. And I will set you a subject._ + + _To establish the year in which it first became the vogue for + smart British males to don a deliberately dowdy attire._ + + _The dowdiness all burst upon my astonished eyes at once: the + up-and-down collar worn with a top hat and a morning coat; + permanently turned trousers worn with Oxford shoes, so as to + display an inch or so of sock; tie usually to match the socks + and often “self-coloured” and patternless. There are three + items of sheer deliberate dowdiness for you. Another dowdy item + was even a little earlier, I believe: the one-buttoned glove, + showing a bit of bare wrist between it and the shirt-cuff. But + the soft-fronted dress-shirt, also a piece of dowdy dandyism, + came in much at the same time as the three specimens cited + above._ + + _I should guess the year to be either 1907 or 1908, but I am + not quite sure. You, with your wonderful memory, may be able to + place it, for 1907-8 marks the period when you burst upon the + London firmament._ + + _I—who can remember witnessing a departure for Cremorne—I, I + need hardly tell you, remember much older and almost as strange + things. I remember peg-top trowsers, skin-tight trowsers, + bell-shaped trowsers, though I can’t fix the epoch of any of + these phenomena; and I can remember when we deliberately wore + our trowsers so long that we trod upon them with our heels and + frayed them; and that was in 1880-1._ + + _But all I ask that you should fix is the date of the + deliberately dowdy well-dressed man...._ + + _I think, ~he writes, 9.8.20~, that the time has come for you + to write ... a big political novel, a big, serious, flippant, + earnest, sarcastic, political novel.... Your book should be + quite Disraelian in scope; it should be a ~roman a clef~ to + this extent, that it would contain half—or quarter-portraits; + and you ought to concentrate on it very thoroughly. I am + convinced that the world is waiting for it._ + + _Do you observe the comparative sweetness of my mood. It is + doomed entirely to this glorious weather. For the rest, I hope + and believe that you never resent those whacks with which, when + the sky is overcast, I am apt to belabour my correspondents + like an elderly Mr. Punch on his hustings._ + + _My good, kind Brighton doctor—good because he is clever, kind + because he charges me no fee—was over here from Brighton y’day + to see me. He tells me that this peculiar susceptibility of + mine to atmospheric influence is a symptom of convalescence + rather than ill-health. He is much pleased with the improvement + in my condition; and he approves of my winter plans, though he + would rather have dispatched me to San Remo or even Egypt had + either been feasible._ + + _Read Max on Swinburne in the ~Fortnightly Review~ when you get + the chance and contrast it with George Moore’s account of his + visit to Swinburne, in which he can only tell us that he found + the poet naked in bed. I forget where it occurs...._ + +In answering this letter I pointed out that Disraeli avoided the great +political issues of the days in which he was writing and that any author, +such as H. G. Wells in _The New Machiavelli_, Granville Barker in +_Waste_ and H. M. Harwood in the _Grain of Mustard Seed_, who attempts a +political theme is almost bound to impale himself on one or other horn of +a dilemma; if his novel or play revolve round a living controversy such +as the right to strike in war-time or the justice of ordering reprisals +in Ireland, the theatre may become the scene of a nightly riot and the +critics will consider their own political preferences more earnestly than +the literary merits of the book; if the action of play or novel be based +on a dead or unborn controversy, it will fail to arouse the faintest +interest. I was sure that the other admirers of the three works which I +quoted were unmoved by the endowment of motherhood, by educational reform +and by housing schemes. + +In reply, Teixeira wrote, 11.8.20: + + _... Don’t slay the suggestions of the big political novel + off-hand or outright. I mean a bigger thing than you do; a + thing that not Wells nor Barker nor Harwood ... could write, + whereas you, I think, could; a thing as big as ~Coningsby~; a + thing called ~The Secretary of State~ or ~The First Lord of the + Treasury~, or some such frank affair as that._ + + _You have kept up a “very average” logical position in life. + You know a number of statesmen, but you know only those + whom you like and you like only those whom you esteem. Your + portraits of those whom you esteem could not offend them; your + sketch even of a genial rogue ... could not offend him; and you + don’t or ought not to care if your daguerreotypes of S., M. and + B. offended them or not...._ + + _Incidentally you might do no little good, to Ireland, which + should have been your native land, to England, which by your + own choice remains your home, and to the world in general, to + which I hope that you bear no ill-will...._ + +In his next letter, 14.8.20, he returns to the same subject: + + _Your letter ... pretty well convinces me, at any rate about + the Coningsby novel. Dizzy never wrote about the period in + which he was just then living. All his novels are antedated a + good many years. This by way of defending him against any idea + that he ever offended by betraying private or official secrets + in his novels...._ + +One of Teixeira’s last letters (19.8.20) from Crowborough contained a +translation of the terms (already quoted) in which Couperus congratulated +him on his version of _The Tour_: + +Couperus writes: + + _“Your last envoi has given me a most delightful day. What a + magnificent translation. ~The Tour~ is; what a most charming + little book it has become! I am in raptures over it and read + and reread it all day and have had tears in my eyes and have + laughed over it. You may think it silly of me to say all this; + but it has become an exquisitely beautiful work in its English + form. My warmest congratulations!..._ + + _“Thank McKenna for his assistance: the hymn has become very + fine. For that matter the whole book is a gem, if I may say so + myself.”_ + + _So I’ve had one appreciative reader at any rate!..._ + +On 27.8.20 he adds: + + _Tell Norman ~[Major Holden, then liberal candidate for the + Isle of Wight]~ that, should there be an election in “the + island” before I leave Ventnor, he’ll find me both able and + ready to impersonate the oldest inhabitant and gallop to the + polling-station, in my bath-chair, and vote for him...._ + +And, finally, in praise of toleration: + + _31 August 1920 (being the birthday of Her + Majesty the Queen of the Netherlands)._ + + _It won’t do to insist on this racial aspect of things. I + was never of those who called L. G. a damned little Welsh + solicitor. He would have been just the same had he been Scotch + or English or Irish. After all, our friend R. is little and + Welsh and was a solicitor and will as likely as not be damned + if he doesn’t join his wife’s church. And there is the converse + case, when you hear men describing an outrage committed by + Englishmen as “unenglish.” How can the things be unenglish + which the English do?_ + + _Like yourself, the late W. H. Smith was shocked when Parnell + stood up and told the House of Commons ... that he had lied to + them in the interests of his country. I like to think of you as + occupying a subtler and more philosophical standpoint than the + late W. H. Smith...._ + + _I continue to feel better; and the arrival of two very pretty + women patients has loosed my tongue and given me an outlet for + many a childish and innocent jest. I excuse these jests by + saying that they’re due to Minerva._ + + _“Who’s Minerva?”_ + + _“Mi-nervous breakdown. By the way, I hope you like your Alf?”_ + + _“Our Alf? What do you mean?”_ + + _“Your al-f-resco meals.”_ + + _Just like that!..._ + + + + +XI + + +For the next few days Teixeira was absorbed in his preparations for +leaving Crowborough. On arriving in London, he came to stay with me until +he and his wife went to the Isle of Wight for the autumn and winter. + +In acknowledging, on 1.9.20 his instructions about the diet on which he +now lived, I wrote: + + _Many thanks for your letter written on the anniversary of Her + Majesty the Queen of the Netherlands. Do not forget to date any + letters you may write on Friday the anniversary of Naseby, the + crowning mercy of Worcester and the death of O. Cromwell._ + +Teixeira interpolated here: + + (_And the birthday of my late aunt Judith Teixeira._) + +On 2.9.20 he writes: + + _Dodd ~[Dodd, Mead and Co. Inc.]~ is going to reissue + ~[Couperus’]~ ~Majesty~ in America and would like you to write + a preface to it.... Will you do this? I should very much like + you to. It involves re-reading the book, I fear; but after that + you will not have much to do except to draw an analogy between + the hero and the poor Czar, on whose character the recent + articles in the ~Times~ have thrown an interesting light._ + +I reminded Teixeira that I had never read _Majesty_, as I had never been +able to secure a copy. + + _You’re perfectly right, ~he replied on 5.9.20~. I’ll bring the + only copy in the world, that I know of, in my suit-case._ + + _You will be able to point to some remarkable prophecies on + C’s part (he foretold the Hague Conference years before it + happened) and, for the rest, to let yourself go as you please + on high continental dynastic politics. I doubt if any writer + ever entered into the soul of princes as this astonishing youth + of 25 or so did...._ + + _I propose to revise ~Majesty~ so thoroughly that I shall be + entitled to eliminate Ernest Dowson’s name from the title-page, + even as I eliminated John Gray’s from that of ~Ecstacy~. There + was no true collaboration in either case; and they did little + more for me than you did in ~Old People~: not so much as you + did in ~The Tour~. Neither had the original before him._ + + _I look forward greatly to my stay with you.... Eimar O’Duffy + ~[the author of The Wasted Island]~ has been married by another + novelist and has gone to live with her in a cottage in Wexford. + She spells her name Cathleen; and he has sent me his early + poems, in which he spelt his name Eimhar. He tells me that + this spelling was abandoned because it didn’t look well; this + I accept. He adds that it is pronounced Avar: this I do not + believe...._ + +On leaving me, Teixeira wrote 24.9.20 to tell me that he had reached +Ventnor without mishap: + + _This is not to acknowledge the receipt of any letter from + you that may or may not be awaiting me at the County & Castle + Club, an edifice into which I have not yet made my comital and + castellated entry. Rather is it to announce my safe arrival, + after four hours of wearying travel, and my complete revival, + after ten hours of refreshing sleep, and to repeat my thanks + for your utterly exceptional and debonnair hospitality._ + + _The first impression of Ventnor is favourable...._ + +This pococurantist attitude, if I may employ a phrase beloved by +Teixeira, was not supported by his wife in the postscript which she added: + + _Poor fellow, he was so tired travelling and so good over it. + This place one could wear rags in, it’s so antiquated; and + we shall return confirmed frumps and bores. There is some + miniature beauty in a low hill and a tinkly pier that would be + blown away in a quarter of a gale...._ + + _I have seen the sun and feel reasonably well and happy, + ~Teixeira proclaims in a second letter on the same day~...._ + +From the end of September to the end of December, when I left England, +our letters—though we corresponded almost daily were much taken up with +business matters. I therefore only reproduce such extracts as throw light +on Teixeira’s literary opinions and on his life at Ventnor. + + _My dear Stephen, loyal and true, ~he writes on 3.10.20~; A + thousand thanks for Lady Lilith, with its charming dedication, + and for your letter.... I cannot well lend you the Repington + volumes. I have them from the Times Book Club, which is all + that my poor wife has to supply her with books. But seriously + I advise you to buy them. They are as admirable as they are + beastly. They form a perfect record of the war as you and I saw + it; you will refer to them often in years to come; they mention + every one that I know (except yourself) and a host more, every + one that you know and a few more; and there is a very full + index to them...._ + + _No, do not send me the Tree book: it will arrive in the next + parcel from the Times Book Club...._ + +There follows an account of a characteristic dialogue between Teixeira +and his dentist: + + _New (enumerating every action, like a comic-conjurer): + “Spray!”_ + + _Tex: “Oremus!”..._ + + _I wish, ~he writes on 6.10.20~, that I had no correspondent + but you: what good stuff I could write to you! But 19 letters + in one day: think of it!..._ + + _My age is a melancholy one. The man of 50 or 60 sees all his + acquaintances and friends dying off in ones and twos: Heinemann + and Williamson to-day; who will it be to-morrow? When he’s 70, + he begins to be a sole survivor, with no friends left to lose._ + + _You will find the Tree book amusing as you go on with it. + Four-fifths of it represent the life of a dead fairy told by + living fairies, one wittier and more whimsical than the others. + I confess to tittering over Viola’s “screwing their screws + to the sticking-point” and “peacocks held in the leash.” And + that’s a glorious portrait of Julius, though, when I knew him, + he was more mature and more majestic...._ + +On 11.10.20 he breaks into verse: + + _My very dear Stephen McKenna,_ + _I’m reading your Lilith again,_ + _With much intellectual pleasure_ + _And some little physical pain._ + _This jingle shaped itself within my head_ + _As I stepped to my table from my bed._ + + _It’s that physical pain I’m after for the present. The book + hurts my eyes...._ + + _I’ve had a little petty cash from the Couperus books. It’s + been amusing to see that ~Small Souls~ in a given six months + produces 15 times as much in America as in this benighted + country...._ + +Though he commonly kept his religion and politics to himself, Teixeira’s +sympathy with the Irish moved him to write, 27.10.20: + + _I’m angrily unhappy at the death of McSwiney. To kill a man + with a face like that! Compare the faces of those who killed + him!..._ + + _It’s a brute of a world that the sun is shining on so + brightly...._ + +I had contemplated spending the winter in a voyage up the Amazon, but +abandoned it in favour of one down the east coast of South America. +Teixeira comments, 29.10.20: + + _Your new voyage is the more sensible and interesting by far. + What’s Amazon to you or you to Amazon? I pictured you and + trembled for you, steaming slowly up that mighty river between + alligators taking pot-shots at you with poisoned pea-shooters + from one bank and hummingbirds yapping split infinitives at + you from the other. You will be much better off on board your + goodish coasting tramp...._ + + _... It interested me, ~he adds, 30.10.20~, to read in this + morning’s ~Times~ that Brazilian stock has risen a couple of + points at the news of your contemplated visit. I hope that + Argentine rails will follow suit...._ + + _~[A lady]~ when returning Shane Leslie’s book, which I had + lent to her and she enjoyed ... had the asinine effrontery + to write to me ... of “McSwiney’s farcical death.” Isn’t it + dreadful to think that the world has given birth to women who + can write like that?_ + + _Can death ever be farcical? We know that the epithet is + wholly inapposite in the present instance. But can death ever + be farcical? I told you, I think, of Major Johnson, who, + throwing hot coppers from the balcony of the Grand Hôtel in + Paris at the crowd cheering Kruger, overbalanced himself, fell + to the pavement and was killed. That is the nearest approach + to a farcical death that I can think of. But I should call it + ironical. A farcical death. Alas!..._ + +On 31.10.20 he writes: + + _I fear you will have a hell of a windy time at Deal or Dover + or wherever Walmer Castle has its being (Walmer perhaps, as an + afterthought)? It is blowing half a gale here. The Dutch say + “to lie like a horse-thief.” The English ought to say “to lie + like a guide-book.” One lies before me at this moment:_ + + _“In fact, Ventnor is a sun-box; and the east and north winds + would have to confess that they have not even a visiting + acquaintance with her.”_ + + _At the same moment, these self-same winds are “a-sharting in + my ear”:_ + + _“We don’t confess to nothink of the sort!_ + _Ho, leave us in yer will before yer die!”_ + + _’Tis well to be you, looking forward to sailing the Spanish + Main...._ + +Of Philip Guedalla’s _Supers and Supermen_, Teixeira writes, 7.11.20: + + _I have got it out of the Times Book Club because of a kindly + notice. There are two or three delicious plums in it...._ + + _Among the happy phrases is one—“nudging us with his inimitably + knowing inverted commas”—to which I would in my mean, Parthian + way call your attention, as bearing upon one of our recent + controversies...._ + + _What is B.N.C., a Noxford college mentioned in Galsworthy’s + book?[18] ~he asks, 10.11.20~. Bras(?z)enos? How I hate these + initials!..._ + +On St. Stanislaus’ Day, he writes: + + _Many thanks for your letter of yesterday (which was the eve of + St. Stanislaus) ... I have no ... bright social news for you._ + + _Yet stay._ + + _A card was left upon me, a few days ago, by Captain + Cave-Brown-Cave, R.N., with a verbal message:_ + + _“Would Mr. Teixeira-de-Mattos-Teixeira care for a rubber of + bridge one afternoon?”_ + + _Yesterday I accepted the soft invitation and took 14/- off + Captain Cave-Brown-Cave and his fellow troglodytes. This would + have been £7 at my normal points._ + + _These are our island adventures._ + + _Here is your ~Inevitable~._ + + _Make me a list (will you?) of people who to your knowledge + have entreated me hospitably during the past twelve-month, so + that I may send them copies of this or some other book when + Christmas cometh round._ + + _With their addresses, please, of which I remembreth not one + single one...._ + +I had been recommended to go from Buenos Aires across the Andes to +Valparaiso and to come home by Chile, Peru and the Panama Canal rather +than to sail twice over the same course between Buenos Aires and +Southampton. + +Teixeira comments on this change of plans in his letter of 16.11.20: + + _They have had a cyclone, I see, at “Baires,” as the wireless + used to have it at the W.T.I.D; but, as we had a gale y’day at + Ventnor, there’s not much in that. On the other hand, how do + you propose to travel from Baires to Paradise Valley? I ask in + all ignorance: is there a railway? I know there are Argentine + Rails; but are the Andes tunnelled? If not, what about it? You + can travel from London to Ventnor ~via~ Cowes but also ~via~ + Ryde; in my days, the route from Baires to Valparaiso knew but + one method: to Ride, if you like, but to Ride ~via~ Llamas. Let + me warn you, a llama would spit in your eye as soon as look at + you. And you not knowing a word of the language! How’s it to + be done, Stephen, how’s it to be done? There are bits of the + Andes where you cross a crevasse, llama and all, in a basket + slung on a rope which stretches from precipice to precipice. Of + all the cinematographic stunts! Well, there! Have you a nice + revolver?..._ + + _... Tell me what you think that you are going to eat + between Baires and Valparaiso, ~he adds next day~. They grow + comparatively few fish on the slopes or even on the crests of + the Andes...._ + + _As a matter of curiosity, write to me to-morrow what your + weather was like now at 9.15 a.m. to-day. I am sitting at a + wide-open window actually perspiring (saving your presence) + with heat._ + +I reassured him as best I could (17.11.20): + + _... Those who know tell me that there is a perfectly good + railway from Buenos Aires to Valparaiso with a permanent + way, rolling stock, points and signals, tunnels to taste and + all the paraphernalia that one might buy on a small scale at + Hamley’s toy-shop. The Andes ought, of course, to be crossed + on mule-back, but this takes long and I do not know any mules. + Nor, from your exposition of their habits, am I desirous of + meeting any llamas...._ + + _My faithful Stephen, many thanks for your three letters, ~he + writes, 21.11.20~. I’ve been feeling rather out of sorts these + last few days and have not written to you since Thursday, I + believe; not that I have much to tell you ... except that, + were I weller and stronger, I should write and offer my sword + to that maligned monarch, Constantine I. of the Hellenes. I am + growing heartily sick of seeing countries meddling in other + countries’ business...._ + + _It were the baldest side on my part, ~he confesses on + 23.11.20~ to pretend that the weather here has not turned cold. + The winds are what is known as bitter. But the sun is shining + like blazes. And there you have what I was leading up to: once + bitter, twice shining._ + + _Ever yours, + Alexander Crawshay._ + +Not content with emulating Mrs. Robert Crawshay’s wit and appropriating +her name, Teixeira laid his witticism before her and challenged her to +say that it was not of the true brand. There is a reference to this in a +later letter; his next communication was a picture-postcard of Ventnor, +annotated by himself: + + _A. ~[A bathchair man]~ This is not me._ + + _B. ~[A child with a hoop]~ Nor is this, really._ + + _C. ~[An indistinguishable figure]~ This might be._ + + _D. ~[A picture of the hotel]~ But probably I am here, lurking + in the Royal Hotel, where I can sea the sea but the sea can’t + see me._ + + _I think little of your latest joke, ~I wrote, 24.11.20~, and + have myself made several of late that put yours into the shade. + Thus, on learning that a woman of my acquaintance had left her + rich husband and run away with a penniless lover, I added the + conclusion that they were now living in silver-gilty splendour. + I can assure you that that is far more in the true Crawshay + tradition...._ + +My effort met with less than no approval: + + _My poor Stephen!, ~Teixeira wrote 25.11.20~. The worst of your + jokes, when you attempt to play upon words, is that they have + all been made before. It must be 36 (thirty-six) years (I said, + years) since I saw at the old Strand Theatre a play called + ~Silver Guilt~ parodying ~The Silver King~._ + + _I am glad or sorry, whichever I should be, that your arm[19] + has taken (~arma virumque cano~: beat that if you can! ~Virus~ + poison, acc. (I hope and trust) ~virum~)...._ + + _My conscience smites me, ~he writes, 26.11.20~, for having + omitted in either of my last two letters to express the + sympathy which I feel with Seymour Leslie—and you—in this + serious illness of his. What is it exactly? Whatever it may be, + I hope that he will get the better of it...._ + + _His aunt Crawshay has been good enough to pass “once bitter, + twice shining.” She says that it “is a really worthy phrase and + will be of use to us all!”..._ + + _I have been reading a lot of French lately, in those very + cheap, double-columned, illustrated editions. It is perfectly + marvellous to see how happily the French draughtsmen succeed in + catching their authors’ ideas, whereas one may safely say that + “our” British illustrators do not catch them once in ten times. + Why is this? I am not sure that a certain rough, unwashed + Bohemianism is not at the bottom of it, achieving results which + are beyond that prim, priggish mode of life which nowadays + governs the artists on this side. I may be wrong: I certainly + couldn’t elaborate my theory; on the other hand, I may be + perfectly right...._ + +In an earlier letter I had asked why he sought a refuge where he could +see the sea but where the sea could not see him. The answer is given in a +postscript: + + _I might turn giddy if the ~sea saw~ me; but it would look very + ugly if ~I saw~ it._ + +By way of revenge I reminded Teixeira that the gender of _virus_ was +neuter: + + _Alas!, ~he replies, 27.11.20~._ + + _I suspected it at the time; and now my uprooted hairs are + beglooming the pink geraniums below my window. I have taken my + oath; and now you and I are pledged: no French, you; no Greek + or Latin, I. It may be all for the best._ + + _And ~arma virusqus cano~ would have sounded so much better!..._ + +Returning to the subject of French Illustration, he adds, 28.11.20: + + _It’s the knock-about, rough-and-tumble, café life in Paris + I expect, that accounts for the greater success of the + French illustrators. They all of them meet all the authors + in the great ~Bourse à poignées de main~ that are the Paris + coffee-houses. The subjects are discussed over a thousand + books; and the draughtsman is not overpaid.... What I’m “after” + is this, that the British illustrators, sitting at home in + their neatly-swept fiats or studios, decorated mainly with + Japanese fans, furnished with wives instead of mistresses, that + these smug dogs, with their pappy brains, ~cannot~ turn out + such good work or enter so well into the spirit of things, as + the Frenchman. And, if all this sounds damned immoral, I can’t + help it._ + +The shadow of Christmas fell across Teixeira’s mind so early as the +first day of December: + + _I ask myself, ~he writes~:_ + + _“What shall I give this Stephen? A book?... But he’s got a + book!... Ah, but has he a three-volume novel? No, bedad!... + And, as I live, I don’t believe that ~Violet Moses~ is included + in his collected edition of the works of that mighty writer, + Leonard Merrick.”_ + + _So here’s a first edition for you, with my blessing. ~[Your + secretary]~ should try to remove the labels with that nastiest + of utensils, a wet, hot sponge...._ + +For the first time in many months Teixeira was driven back on _The Wrong +Box_ to find an adequate comparison with the informative newcomer who now +disturbed the noiseless tenour of his way: + + _Joseph Finsbury has arrived, ~he writes, 2.12.20~. Overhearing + me tell my wife that Bucharest is the capital of Roumania, he + leant forward and asked me if I had been to Bucharest._ + + _Tex: No._ + + _Joseph: Oh, I thought I heard you mention Bucharest._ + + _Tex: I sometimes mention places which I have never visited._ + + _Joseph: Bucharest is a second Paris._ + + _Tex: Grrrrrrrrmph!_ + + _Joseph: Though I daresay it has been destroyed by now._ + + _Tex: (to his wife).... Have you done with ~Femina~? If so, + I’ll give it to those Dutch ladies._ + + (_Stalks off to Mrs. and Miss van L._) + + _Joseph: (to an Irish widow) I have been to all the capitals of + Europe ... (and holds the wretched Mrs. N. enthralled, so I am + told, for two mortal hours)...._ + + _Later. Joseph (to ~[my wife]~): How clever of your husband to + speak Dutch to those ladies!_ + + _~[My wife]~: Not at all! He’s a Dutchman._ + + _Joseph: I know Holland very well. I have been to Rotterdam. I + have been to Java. The finest botanical gardens in the world + are at Buitenzorg near Batavia._ + + _~[My wife]~: Re-e-ally!_ + + _Can you ~Teixeira asks, 2.12.20~, lend me that book by James + Joyce (~Portrait of the Artist~), which you once wrote to me + about? I see Barbellion praises it enthusiastically in the new + diary._ + + _Would you like me to lend you ~A Last Diary~ or have you + bought it?_ + + _Your Uncle Joseph was in disgrace yesterday. We have a girl + trio of musicians here, who play at tea-time and eke after + dinner. The pianist reports that he said to her:_ + + _“I have been to Japan. I was very ill there and I found myself + in the arms of a Japanese woman.”_ + + _To-day he stopped me in the road and said:_ + + _“I wish I could speak Dutch, sir, as well as you speak + English. I once learnt a continental language, but I mustn’t + speak it now. What it was” (throwing out his arms) “you can + guess....”_ + +I had read Barbellion’s two books without sharing Teixeira’s admiration +for them, in part because I thought that a book of self-revelation so +unreserved should only have been published posthumously, in part because +it was incongruous—to use no stronger word—to find a man, who had aroused +wide-spread compassion by what was taken to be the account of his last +hours, reading with relish the sympathetic press notices which it brought +him. + +To this criticism Teixeira replies, 5.12.20: + + _Thank you for your two letters and the loan of James Joyce.... + Barbellion I like and almost love—I should love him entirely + but for a common strain in him that makes itself heard + occasionally—but then I was taught very early in life to make + every allowance for men of any genius, whereas you look for the + public-school attitude towards all and sundry. Apart from this, + B. seems to me to have borne almost unparalleled suffering + with remarkable courage and to have shown a good deal of pluck + besides in laying bare his soul in the midst of it all._ + + _You see, if one cared to take the pains, one could make you + detest pretty well everybody you know and like. For everybody + has a mean, petty, shabby, cowardly side to him; and one has + only to tell you of what the man in question chooses to keep + concealed. B. chose to reveal it; that’s all about it...._ + + _My wife bids you be sure to say good-bye, when you go on your + travels, to the woman, whoever she may be, in whom you are most + interested. Her reason is that she dreamt two nights ago that + you were prevented from doing so. This does not imply that you + will not return alive. It means only that something prevented + you from saying good-bye to that person and that it would be + fun to stultify the dream...._ + +On 7.12.20 Teixeira writes: + + _... I am reading James Joyce, skippily. The fellow has a great + deal of talent, but much of it is misdirected. I should not be + surprised if one day he began to write books that he and his + country will be proud of...._ + + _Incidentally I admire his ruthless suppression of capitals and + am interested in his ditto ditto of hyphens...._ + +On Christmas Eve, he writes: + + _Forgive us our Christmases as we forgive them that Christmas + against us._ + + _What I want to know by your next letter and what you have not + told me, though you may think that you have, is how you propose + to travel home from the west coast of South America...._ + +And on 27.12.20: + + _I was asked to “recite” yesterday! I refused. I was asked + to take part in a hypnotic experiment: would I rather be the + professor or the subject?_ + + _“The subject,” I replied. “But I would even rather be dead.”_ + +And on 29.12.20: + + _... This is the last letter but one or two which I shall be + writing to you before you sail or puff down the Solent.... + Needless to add that I feel sad at the thought of your imminent + departure and glad at the thought that you appear to feel a + trifle sad too._ + + _The ~Almanzora~! Well, God speed her across the Atlantic! But + she’s got a plaguy hairdressing name. On my dressing-table + stand two bottles and two only. One contains Anzora cream; the + other Pandora brilliantine. Both are meant to preserve and + beautify my already well-preserved and beautiful hair. I must + try to “become” some Almanzora to keep them company...._ + + + + +XIII + + +The diary which Teixeira kept for me during my absence in South America +was, so far as I am aware, his first venture in this kind of literature. +Approaching it with trepidation, he abandoned it with loathing. The +mystery of a double cash-column quickly palled; and he was not long +intrigued even by printed reminders of the moon’s phases and of the days +on which dividends and insurance-policy renewals became due. + + 30 December 1920. + + As a large number of these Diaries circulate abroad it may be + well to point out that the Astronomical Data, such as phases of + the moon etc. are given in Greenwich time. + + _Perhaps it may be as well, ~Teixeira concurs, 30.12.20~._ + + 31 December 1920. + + _I did not see the old year out. I played 1/- bridge in the + afternoon at Captain Cave-Brown-Cave’s, with him, Captain B. + and Dr. F. and won_ + + _£—18.0._ + + _which at normal points would have been_ + + _9.5.0._ + + _(I presume that is what the right-hand column is for. But the + left-hand column? Ah, that left-hand column!...)_ + + _The last that I saw of the old year was a 68-7-0, grey-haired + parson in pumps and a prince-consort moustache and whiskers + waltzing a polka, or polkering a waltz—in short, dancing + something exceedingly modern—with a 15-7-0 flapper. Then we + went to bed, wondering how Stephen was spending his New Year’s + Eve, on board the ~Almanzora~, in a south-westerly gale._ + + Saturday, 1 January. + + _When at 5.30 I switched on my light and rose, I saw a + leprechaun standing on my writing-table, looking like a little + sandwich-man. Fearlessly I approached; and he changed into a + bottle of ~eau-de-Cologne~ with an envelope slung round his + neck, inscribed, “To my Best Beloved.” Mark ~[my wife’s]~ bold + capitals. And show me another couple whose united ages amount + to 117 years or more and who still do this sort of thing. O + olden times and olden manners!..._ + + Monday, 3 January. + + _Bridge at Cave’s with Captain B. and Dr. C._ + + _~[My wife]~: “What did you talk about at tea?”_ + + _Tex: “Jam.”_ + + _This question and answer never vary, after my return from a + visit to the C.-B.-C’s...._ + + _I foresee that this compilation is going to rival the ~Diary + of a Nobody~. And I am pledged to keep it up until the 7th of + March. Kismet! Or, as the dying Nelson said, “Kismet, Hardy.”_ + + Wednesday, 5 January. + + Dividends due + + _What dividends?_ + + Sunday, 9 January. + + _Thank goodness that I have only space to thank goodness that I + have only space wherein ... ~ad infinitum~...._ + + Thursday, 13 January. + + _Received from Stephen’s mother his letter to his mother...._ + + _Received from Lady D. Stephen’s letter to ~[her]~ and wrote + to her in appropriate terms, expressing doubts upon Stephen’s + dietary while crossing the South-American continent, where + there are neither fish nor eggs, save the eggs of condors and + hummingbirds...._ + + Friday, 14 January. + + _... My bank-balance is overdrawn, but I make 19/6 at bridge._ + + _... Mr. and Mrs. Hugh Martin arrive. I do not know if this is + the ~Daily News’~ Irish correspondent whom the Black and Tans + wanted to murder._ + + Tuesday, 18 January. + + _Begin Couperus’ ~Iskander: The novel of Alexander the Great~; + two enormous volumes, which I may hardly live to translate. + It is a great joy to see this artist building up his story + with firm and elegant perfection from the very first page, + with conviction and a fine self-confidence, no grouping, no + floundering, no hesitation...._ + + Saturday, 23 January. + + _Need something happen every day at Ventnor? Danged if there + need!_ + + Monday, 24 January. + + _... The new rich arrive, Rolls-Royce and all._ + + Tuesday, 25 January. + + _Those new rich! So new, so rich, so drearily unostentatious! + Young new richard bald, pan-snayed, ill-dressed; young new + wife and sister-in-law dowdy; young new secretary without a + dinner-jacket to his backside; young new baby and young new + nurse all over the place; young new Rolls-Royce, careering over + the island, the only sign of wealth._ + + _If only there were a few diamonds, a few banded cigars, a few + h’s dropping on the floor with a dull thud, one could at least + laugh. But the drabness, the gloom of these particular new + rich: O my lungs and O my liver!..._ + + Thursday, 27 January. + + _It is terrible, the number of people who come to this hotel; + and I regret the pleasant, non-“paying” days when we were six + visitors and three musicians, with a full staff of servants + to wait on us. There are now over thirty people at meals, one + uglier than the other. And as soon as one goes two others take + his place...._ + + Sunday, 30 January. + + _... To bed at 5, with my “special dinner” at 7, John Francis + Taylor’s meal: “Give me some milk; and let the milk be hot. + And give me some bread; and let the bread be inside the milk.”_ + + Monday, 31 January. + + The Insurance herein contained is not valid until your name has + been registered. + + _I don’t care. Yer can ’ave the insurance._ + + _The new rich have some business visitors._ + + Tuesday, 1 February. + + _... Departure of the new riches’ little thyndicate of friends._ + + _Arrival of the dividend on my Benson & Hedges’ 10% 2nd + pref., the only shares wherein I have ever invested that have + ever paid any dividend whatever. Lord, how I have moiled + and toiled to sink money in stumer companies! Shrewsburry & + Talbot Hansoms! Galician Oilfields! Rubber substitutes! Cork + substitutes! Tampico-Panuco Deferred! United Transport Co.! In + the three last I still have holdings: about £250 in all. And + the things that I have inherited: thousand of dollars’ worth of + Mexican (and Turkish and Hungarian and Russian) rubbish, which + would barely fetch a tenner, all told!..._ + + Thursday, 3 February. + + _... The new arrivals include a long, lean man ... and his + wife. His hair is dyed to suggest 55; he is probably a + cadaverous 77. He comes down to dinner in a white tie and + tails. His digestion is of the weakest. He refuses soup, leaves + the fish, refuses a cutlet, leaves the goose and seems to + dine mainly on ~crême Beau Rivage~, which is a ~crême carmel~ + decorated with a blob of whipped cream and angelica. His + conversation with his wife consists purely of whispered smiles._ + + Friday, 4 February. + + _I received letters from Stephen to me and from Stephen to his + mother. I have still to receive a letter from Stephen to Lady + D...._ + + _On his return he will borrow from me Frank Harris’ second + series of ~Contemporary Portraits~, just arrived from New York._ + + _There is no bridge at the Home-Sweet-Homes. I go to the club, + play with P. the local solicitor; Dr. W., of Harrogate; Mr. S., + of the same and win the sum of £——2½ d._ + + Saturday, 5 February and Sunday, 6 February + + _An episode of “And oh, the children’s voices in the lounge!” + was followed by my going to the office and saying:_ + + _“I am going to bed lest these children be the death of me. May + I have a special dinner, please?”_ + + _“Certainly. What would you like?”_ + + _“Send me some milk and let the milk be hot. And send me some + bread and let the bread be inside the milk.”_ + + _Next morning, having slept eight hours and fifteen minutes, I + went to the manageress and:_ + + _“People,” I said, “are far too proud of their children and + too fond of displaying them in public.... There is nothing + wonderful about parentage and nothing clever. Most people are + parents. I have been one myself.... Children should be seen and + not heard.... If they raise their voices in the public rooms, + they should be sent to their bedrooms. Some would suggest the + coal-hole; but I, as you know, have a gentle heart.... Remember + that we live in an age of reprisals. The privilege of screaming + and yelling is not confined to children. Adults enjoy equal + rights. Next time a child raises its voice in my presence, I + shall in quick succession bellow like a bull, roar like a + lion, howl like a jackal, laugh like a hyena. If you drive me + to it, I shall copy all the shriller domestic animals.... The + matter is now in your hands.”_ + + Monday, 7 February. + + _Peace reigns at Ventnor...._ + + Wednesday, 16 February. + + _... I start my sock-and-tie stunt, which consists in + “copycatting” daily, Austin Read seconding, an absurd young man + of half my age. Thus do the elderly amuse themselves for the + further amusement of a limited circle...._ + + Tuesday, 22 February. + + _Stephen’s letter of 20.1.21 to his mother arrives. ~[I + again varied my itinerary and had decided to make my way to + Valparaiso through the Straits of Magellan rather than across + the Andes.]~ So he is travelling in the wake of H.M.S. Beagle + and the late Charles Robert Darwin! He’ll be perished with + cold; but he’s more likely to get a fish or two to eat...._ + + Sunday, 27 February. + + _Stephen’s birthday. His health shall be drunk in brimming + barley-water; and, though I believe he has already had a + birthday-present, he shall have a copy of ~The Tour~ the moment + it arrives. Good luck to him!_ + + _P.S. Absolutely a good notice of ~The Tour~ in the ~Sunday + Times~. My wife says that the critic must have been drunk._ + + Monday, 28 February. + + _Arrival of a terrible Yorkshire group, two men and a woman.... + They foregather with ... a man who appears in carpet-slippers, + like Kipps, and talk of nothing but food, in broad Leeds._ + + Tuesday, 1 March. + + _... “Ah had hum-und-eggs to my breakfast this morning. Ah + was always partial to hum-und-eggs for breakfast.... Ah had + new potai-i-toes ut the dinner. Ah said to McKanner, ‘These + are too good to pass.’ We had summon with ’em, summon und new + potai-i-itoes.”_ + + _They seem to be bank-managers and to have dined with Reggie at + some London City and Midland Bank-wet...._ + + Thursday, 3 March. + + _T. takes me to East Dene, the childhood home of Swinburne, now + a convent of the Sacred Heart. I am shown over the entrancing + grounds by the Mother Superior. Before taking me into the + chapel:_ + + _“You are not a catholic, I suppose?” she asks._ + + _“Indeed I am.”_ + + _“I mean, a Roman catholic?”_ + + _“Reverend mother, are there any others?”_ + + _“Oh, they all call themselves Anglican catholics nowadays!”_ + + _Then on to Craigie Lodge, where Pearl Hobbes pesters the + tenants with trivial spirit-messages._ + + _Home, feeling cold as death...._ + + Saturday, 5 March. + + _... I am correcting proofs of ~The Three Eyes~ for Hurst & + Blackett. Altogether I shall have four books out this spring._ + + _~The Tour~, Butterworth._ + _~The Three Eyes~, Hurst & Blackett._ + _~Majesty~, Dodd._ + _~More Hunting Wasps~, Dodd._ + + _Not so bad for an owld, infirm mahn!_ + + Sunday, 6 March. + + _It is pleasant to see the sun gain strength daily, with + every sort of flower appearing, almond-blossoms in full + swing, cherry-blossoms hard at it and pear-blossoms making a + beginning._ + + Monday, 7 March. + + _Departure of ~[the married Yorkshire visitors]~._ + + _“Thank God, they’re gone!” the survivor is heard to say._ + + _Arrival of the survivor’s women-folk. He sees them to their + rooms and comes down to gloat over some woman. When his wife + returns to the hall:_ + + _“Hullo, Helen!” he says. “Are ye dahn olready?” And repeats + the bright question: “Hullo, Helen! Are ye dahn olready?”_ + + _What a people, the men of Yorkshire!..._ + + Wednesday, 9 March. + + _I begin a collodial sulphur treatment ... for that picturesque + right leg of mine. Irving’s left leg was a poem (Oscar Wilde); + my right leg is a money-box, adorned with three patches the + size of a shilling, a sixpence and a groat, all very nice and + silvery. I asked ~[the doctor]~ whether it was leprosy or + dropsy. He said it was soriasis, scoriasis, scloriasis: I don’t + know which and I don’t care._ + + Thursday, 10 March. + + _The ~[other Yorkshire visitors]~ are to go on Monday, when I + can say:_ + + _“Thank God, they’re gone!”_ + + _And I pray that the table next to ours may not be given to + people with provincial accents. Let it be noted that the + friend of “McKannar” is manager of the—branch of the L.J.C.M. + at Leeds, so that, when I go to live at Leeds, I may bank + elsewhere...._ + + Friday, 11 March. + + _At the club, I win 1861 points at bridge in 90 minutes._ + + £. s. d. + _In money, at 2½d the 100, this represents_ _4_ _0_ + _At the Cleveland it would have represented_ _9_ _12_ _0_ + _At the Reform Club it would have represented_ _2_ _8_ _0_ + + Sunday, 13 March. + + _John (“Shane”) Leslie’s book on Cardinal Manning seems to + me very good. Leslie is very nasty to Purcell, who no doubt + deserves it._ + + Monday, 14 March. + + _Departure of ~[the last Yorkshireman]~, leaving his + women-people behind him. He asked for it and he shall have it:_ + + _“Thank God he’s gone!”_ + + _He used to stare at me till I devised the retort: closing my + eyelids and yawning at him like a lion._ + + _I think I must talk to Reggie about him some day._ + + Tuesday, 15 March. + + _... The hotel is filling up madly for Easter. There will be + more here then than at Christmas. Help!..._ + + Thursday, 17 March. + + S. Patrick ☽ First Quarter, 3.49 a.m. + + _Well, I went to church to pray for Ireland: what else was + there to be done?_ + + _Stephen’s return seems to be unduly delayed; and I’ve + forgotten the name of his ship._ + + Friday, 18 March. + + _The sun shines in the morning._ + + _The rain falls in the afternoon._ + + _I play a little bridge._ + + _The sun shines all day._ + + _Thank God, a letter from Stephen and an end to this beastly + diary!_ + + + + +XIV + + +Teixeira continued to live at Ventnor until the beginning of May, with +spirits, health and powers of work all steadily improving. He returned +to London in time to welcome Couperus, who arrived in the middle of the +month and was entertained privately and publicly for five or six weeks. + + _I don’t know exactly when you’ll be back, ~he writes, + 11.3.21~, but I welcome you home with all my heart ... and with + an S.O.S._ + + _The title of ~[Couperus’]~ ~The Inevitable~[20] has been + forestalled, in a novel publishing with Holden & Harlingham. + And I want another good title in a hurry. Can you help me?_ + + _There is always:_ + + Cornélie. + + _Wilkie Collins would have called it:_ + + Could She Do Otherwise? + + _George Egerton would have said:_ + + The Woman Who Went Back. + + _(But that’s giving the solution away too soon)._ + + _Is there a possible title with “Doom” or “Fate” in it?_ + + _Henry James:_ + + How Cornélie Ended. + + _Stephen McKenna:_ + + The Reluctant Plover. + + _George Robey:_ + + Did She Fall or Was She Pushed? + + _The Bible:_ + + _(unquotable)_ + + _Tex:_ + + _Anything on the Wilkie Collins lines overleaf._ + + The Lure of Fate. + + Could She Avoid It? + + It Had To Be. + + _And, as I said, there’s always:_ + + Cornélie.... + + _Welcome home, my dear Stephen, ~he writes, 19.3.21~...._ + + _I look forward, with pleasure, to receiving your diary and + soon you may look backward, with disgust, to having received + mine._ + + _My health has made very reasonable progress and my wife + is exceedingly well. Frank Dodd visits us for two days on + Thursday: how we shall be after that ... well, how ~shall~ we + be after that?..._ + +On 27.3.21 he writes: + + _Dodd arrived on Thursday: I say, he arrived. He arrived by + travelling from London to Southhampton in a luggage-van with a + first-class ticket (what’s the penalty for that?); by running + his boat into the mud 10 minutes from Cowes; by missing his + connection; by changing at Ryde; and by repeating his offence + “thence” and “hither”: ~i.e.~ travelling with the same ticket + in a second luggage-van. At 9 p.m. he arrived, greeting me with + the words:_ + + _“I’ve had nothing to eat since breakfast.”_ + + _You should have seen the poor fellow torn between two + longings, with a plateful of soup before him while waiting + for a Ventnor cocktail, consisting of 98% Plymouth gin and 2% + orange bitters._ + + _We motored him on Friday to Blackgang, to Chale, to + Carisbrooke, to Newport, to Brading, to Bembridge, to Sandown, + to Shanklin and back. Having already familiarized himself with + Cowes and Ryde, he declared that he had now seen every city in + the Isle of Wight except Freshwater._ + + _I lay low about Yarmouth, but yesterday I walked him back from + Bonchurch, after my doctor had motored us “thither.”_ + + _We did a lot of talking in between, but he did not sap my + vitality.... He left after tea for France, ~via~ Southhampton + and Havre; and I was able to sit up, take nourishment and + even stand and watch a ball-room full of people dance Lent + out on what the festive programme called “Easter Saturday”: + Christians, you may or may not be aware, call it Holy + Saturday...._ + +And on 31.3.21: + + _... I booked a seat on a four-in-hand this morning to go + to certain point-to-point races; cancelled it; received an + invitation from my young doctor to take me there in his car; + declined it, feeling too weak and sulphurous.... I have a leg, + like Sir Willoughby what’s-his-name; but this leg is covered + with patterns (Sir Willoughby Patterne, was it?) and to cure it + I am covered and lined with brimstone. It is not curing; and I + am just tempersome, that’s all...._ + +In answer to my question what he would like for a birthday present, he +replies, 3.4.21: + + _This is one of the days on which I feel like nothing on + earth. Yet I must answer your three letters to the best of my + enfeebled power.... I want a ~Catholic Dictionary~_ + + or + + _Drummond’s ~Life of Erasmus~_ + + or + + _a second-hand copy of either + will be quite acceptable: the + second is an old book and + probably out of print._ + + _five fumable cigars “from stock”; but a present I must have + because I am working a stunt about the immense number of + birthday gifts which I am sure of receiving. The Cleveland Club + is being canvassed with this intent and the members urged to + make canvass-backed ducks and drakes of their money: oh, how + like nothing on earth I feel after being brought to bed of + this joke! I am to have a cake with 56 candles in it from my + doctor’s wife, which her name is Phyllis Twigg; so let no one + send me an other. If I ate more than 56 candles at my age, I + should have to go in cossack-cloth and ashes for the rest of + my life; oh, like nothing on earth, Stephen, like nothing on + earth!..._ + +The acknowledgement of the birthday present had to be delayed while +Teixeira described his effort to observe an eclipse: + + _I ordered a pail and some water (“and let the water be inside + the pail”) to be placed on the lawn this morning, so that I + might observe the eclipse of the sun. The eclipse was over + before I got down; as the pail was bright white that made no + difference. Things looked very uncanny from my bedroom window + and I tried to tremble like a Red Indian: they tremble, as you + know, like Red Indianything...._ + +It was written on the morrow of his birthday, 10.4.21: + + _Many thanks for your letter of the 8th, for your good wishes + and for a noble ~Catholic Dictionary~, with which I was + mightily pleased. It will be of great value to me if I live (a) + to edit ~The Autumn of the Middle Ages~, by Huisinga and (b) to + translate The Land of Rembrand, by Busken Huet, two monumental + tasks which I have been discussing with Dodd...._ + + _You have presumably bought ~Queen Victoria~, by the side of + which ~Eminent Victorians~ is quite a dull book. And I read + that, on Friday last, eight gentleman were seen sitting in a + row in Kensington Gardens, all reading Strachey’s book. If, + however K. G. were closed to the public on Friday, then the + story is mythical...._ + + _Your birthday-stunt worked wonders. Miracles never cease: + R—— sent me an Omar Khayyam! R. a round or circular + photograph-frame of a precious metal known as silver. N. F. 25 + cigars of the por Laranaga flavor. B. 50 of the flavour known + as Romeo y Julieta. P. 100 cigarettes of the snake-charming + flavour, which, being manufactured from the finest high-grade + selected Turkish leaf tobacco, must be exchanged for the + cigarettes of Ole Virginny when I am next in hail of one of + Messrs. Salmon & Gladstone’s famous establishments._ + + _This exhausts your list. Over and above these gifts, I + received from S. an Umps, ~i.e.~ a biscuit-ware naked doll, + with wings, practicable arms and a heart in the right, + non-commital place, in the middle of its chest. Also, a neat + black and grey tie. From Mrs. H. a tie.... From my wiff a tie + and a pair of mittens, for elderly early-morning wear. From + the manageress of the hotel, a knitted canary waistcoat with + sapphire buttons to cover the nudity of the Umps. From an + anonymous admirer, a smaller naked doll, made, I venture to + think, of celluloid-georgette. From a lady staying at the + hotel, a box of Sainsbury’s chocolates, which are the most + toothsome in the world. From G. H., aged 80, and F., his wife, + age 75, a box of other chocolates, and 50 De Reske cigarettes. + From A. T., aged 6, bought with her own money, a bottle of ink + and a ball of twine. From her mother, P. T., neé McKenna—nay, + Mackenzie—two blue-bird electric-light shades._ + + _The T’s, who belong to my local doctor, in the proportion + of one wife and one daughter, also gave me a birthday + party. To meet me were invited Dr. C., Dr. F., and Captain + Cave-Brown-Cave. It opened with an ode or oratorio about + fairies and happiness, intoned by Anne and Dr. C. to an + accompaniment by Mrs. T. Then Anne put her arms round my neck, + embraced me tenderly and told me not to mind what Mrs. Teixeira + said about my touting for presents: Mrs. Teixeira didn’t mean + it, couldn’t mean it; and Anne didn’t believe it, couldn’t + believe it. With the tears streaming down the knees of my + cashmere trouserings, I was led in to tea to see my name spelt + in letter-biscuits and my birthday-cake surrounded by 56 pink, + green, white and red candles. Then we played bridge and I won + eight shillings. And I doubt if Queen Victoria ever described a + birthday more fully._ + + _No, she would not have forgotten, as I nearly forgot, that F. + E. W. also sent me a tie...._ + +In the middle of the month, Teixeira began to make preparations, for his +return: + + _Should you happen, ~he writes, 14.4.21~, to buy a steam-yacht, + in addition to a motor-car, before the 5th of May, you might + send her for us: we would as soon travel that way, land at the + Temple stairs and lunch with you while the yacht takes our + luggage up-river to Chelsea...._ + + _You have evidently misunderstood my motives in deciding to buy + a car, ~I began to explain~._ + + _Get a neat, unobstrusive disk with “Hackney Carriage” fitted + to it, ~he interposed~: you can make a tidy income out of your + car then, when the Muse (should I say the Garage?) fails you._ + + _... If, ~he writes, 19.4.21~, you have not blewed or blued + (which is it?) your last fiver, consider whether your library + is really complete without the Greville Memoirs. Strachey’s + book will probably have set you lusting for them._ + + _They contain the original story about “speaking + disrespectfully of the Equator.”..._ + + _I send you the second edition of Harris’ life of Oscar. You + have already read the first edition. But you will like to + see such things, if any, in the appendix as may be new and + certainly Shaw’s contribution to the end...._ + +I had the misfortune to offend Teixeira by quoting a passage from Sir +James Frazer’s _Golden Bough_: + + _I save my temper, ~he writes, 22.4.21~, by not discussing + religion except with Catholics or politics except with + liberals. There’s room for discussion in the ~nuances~, + there’s too much room for it with those who call my black + white. I never dispute the goodness of certain infidels nor + the wickedness of many of the faithful. What I hate is the + smug-smiling affectation of superiority displayed by the + agnostics...._ + + _Huxley I have proved guilty—at least to my own satisfaction—of + intellectual dishonesty and financial turpitude; of Frazer I + know nothing whatever. I vaguely pictured him as one of several + distinguished compilers of whom I knew nothing; that beastly + quotation at the head of one of your chapters came as a great + shock to me, which grew into a very cataclysm when I found it + followed by another and a longer one._ + + _I won’t call you an Englishman again. But it is funny that + you can’t write about yourself without going into the matter of + what you think or do not think about religion...._ + + _I forgot to tell you, ~he writes, 24.4.21~, that I received + y’day, from Jack Tennant, from a house with an improbable name, + in a Scotch county which I had never heard of (Morayshire), a + salmon—the whole bird—weighing 7½ lbs. and measuring somewhere + about 7½ feet. I distributed 3 lbs. to my doctor and 3 lbs. to + the heir presumptive to the Cave-Brown-Cave baronetcy (with + apologies for the radical source of the gift). My wiff and I + ate 3 oz. of it to our dinner; and the remainder was consumed + by the manageress, the bookkeeper and housekeeper of the Royal + Hotel...._ + +Ten days later his preparations were complete. + + _Unless I ring you up at 11, on Friday, ~he writes, 3.5.21~, I + will be with you at 11, as suggested in your letter—the morning + is still my best time—and lunch at the club._ + + + + +XV + + +In the summer and autumn of 1921 Teixeira enjoyed better health than +at any time in the last seven years. He supported without ill-effects +the strain of incessant luncheon and dinner-parties during the visit of +Couperus to London; he moved from house to house, staying with friends; +he completed his unfinished work and laid ambitious schemes for the +future. + + _I have written to Couperus, ~he told me, 13.5.21~, preparing + him to be entertained by the Titmarsh Club and by the + Asquiths...._ + + _You might tell me in an early letter what to do in proposing + ~[him]~ for temporary honorary membership of the Reform Club + and when to do it...._ + + _My dear Stephen, ~he writes, 16.5.21~;_ + + _My dear Stephen, ~he repeats~;_ + + _The second allocution sounds almost superfluous; but I will + not waste a sheet of Ryman’s priceless Hertford Bank. I + intended the “M” of “My dear Stephen” to form the “M” of “Many + thanks for your letter of the 14th.” However, you may remember + that the only difference between Moses and Manchester is that + one ends in -oses and the other in -anchester; and there you + are...._ + + _I am calling on the Netherlands minister at half-past eleven + this morning.... Bisschop (of the Anglo-Batavian Society) rang + me up on Saturday evening.... There is to be a council-meeting + at 4 o’clock on Friday at the International Law Association in + King’s Bench Walk.... If you are back by Friday and likely to + be at home, I’ll come on to see you from there. And I’ll write + to you to-morrow about my call on Van Swinderen...._ + + _P.S. to my former letter, ~he writes on the same day:~ Van + Swinderen was most charming. He at once offered to have the + Dutch reading at the legation.... I said that, if Van S. would + make it an invitation matter, he would be doing a great honour + to C. and giving a very welcome reception to the Dutch colony + in London...._ + + _He leapt at this; said he would give a dinner to twenty of la + ~crême de la crême~; he could manage thirty at two tables; and + ask up to a hundred to the reception...._ + + _Everything is provisional to Mrs. Van Swinderen’s agreement; + and I am to lunch there on Friday and hear more...._ + +When Couperus returned to Holland, my correspondence with Teixeira was +suspended. We were meeting or communicating by telephone almost daily; +and it was only when we left London to stay with friends that the letters +were resumed. + + _Weather hot and stuffy, ~he writes, 1.8.21, from Sutton + Courtney~. Lawns running down to a perfectly full river and + absolutely dry: and I with not much to tell you...._ + + _I am sleeping beautifully and eating lightly; and I feel too + indolent for words._ + + _Good-bye and bless you!_ + + _My wife, ~he writes, 5.8.21~, pictures me surrounded by people + who, if she broke my heart by dying, would thrust women of + forty on me, “dear, dearest Mr. Tex,” to look after me. Is it + not a beautifully witty tag to a letter? I think so...._ + +To my reproach that he had left London without saying good-bye to me, he +replies, 16.8.21 with complete justification: + + _As our logical neighbours across the channel say:_ + + _“Zut!... Zut!... Et encore zut!...”_ + + _Had you profited as you ought by the careful bringing up which + your kind parents gave you, you would have known that it is for + those who go away to say good-bye, for those who arrive to say + good-day. You left London before I did. I say no more in reply + to your reproaches...._ + + _If ever you leave London, however, at about the same time + as I, remember, will you not, the etiquette (French) and the + punctilio (Italian)?..._ + + _... If you think that I have much to tell you, ~he adds, + 20.8.21~, you are mistaken. Y’day I went for a stroll, turned + up a footpath which I imagined would bring me back here, found + that it didn’t, after I had gone much too far to turn back, and + plodded on and on—my apprehensive mind full of a picture of + myself being devoured by onsticelli and stercoraceous geodurpes + amid a fine setting of ferns and bracken—until I reached + Abingdon. It might have been Oxford, so exhausted was I._ + + _A boy was bribed to fetch me a car and I returned just before + the search-party set out for me. I roam no more. There is a + lawn here: let me walk up and down it...._ + + _I do not despair about Ireland because I never despair about + anything._ + + _And I am ever yours,_ + + _Tex._ + + _Your letter of the 23rd, ~he writes, 25.8.21~, found me still + here. (The Wharf, Sutton Courtney): I go to-morrow to the + Norton Priory till Monday ... and longer if they will have me + longer. Then back home; and to Sutro’s for a brief week-end on + Saturday._ + + _Yes, I know Lancaster, its castle, where I have, and its + lunatic asylum, where I have never, stayed...._ + + _It were useless for me to pretend that I have not mislayed + your list of addresses. I may find it in some other suit; but + you might notify me of your next movement whenever you write. + But do not translate m.p.h. as miles per hour. Master of + phoxhounds, if you like, or miles per horam; but we English say + an hour and not per hour...._ + + _M. sent an enormous 120 h.p. (hocus pocus) land-yacht + to meet me at Portsmouth, ~he writes from Norton Priory, + 27.8.21~, relieving me of the worst part of the journey.... + N. arrived from town before dinner, bringing with him a ... + stockbroker.... They go up on Monday morning, but I stay on + till Wednesday, like a gay limpet but a perfectly moral: M’s + brother comes down on Monday._ + + _For the rest, I have the same room, but have not yet cracked + my skull against the canopy of the same fourposter; and I am + perfectly happy...._ + + _Your original waybill is found, ~he adds, 30.8.21~; but + I have the receipt of no letter from you to acknowledge. N. + ... went up after breakfast y’day and brother R. M. came down + before dinner. He is a pleasant New Zealander and took a lot + out of me at bridge._ + + _Life here pursues its quiet course. I accompanied M. and W. + to the sea’s edge yesterday but found the effort of ploughing + through the shingle tolerably exhausting and shall not repeat + it to-day. Indeed, the whole family, Miss T. included, + are bathing now and I am writing twaddle to you under the + pear-tree._ + + _And, as I live, I think I’ll write no more. I have no more to + say; and the papers have just come. I leave here after lunch + (eon) to-morrow, spend an hour or two in Chichester cathedral + and arrive home in time for my bread and milk...._ + +On his return to Chelsea and a typewriter, he says, 1.9.21: + + _You will be pleased to receive a letter from me in legible + type, instead of in that hand which is becoming almost as + crabbed as yours. And I continue to address you at Bamborough + Castle, though that stronghold figures as something very near + Zambuk Castle in your letter of 30 August._ + + _N. filled me with fears of internecine feuds within your + fortress, of bloody strife for the one shady nook of the + orchard and so on. You say nothing of these things; and I + assume that there has been no slaughter in your time. There + was a horrid game when I became a British kid in the early + seventies: I am king of the castle! Get out, you dirty rascal! + I trembled at the thought of you and N. playing this game + against ruthless border clansmen. All’s well that ends well...._ + + _I lost twenty goodish guineas at three-handed bridge after + Brother Roy arrived. He wanted to can everything on the estate: + the apples, the pears, the fleas on the dogs’ backs, the + flyaway ducks. He wanted to introduce New Zealand mutton-birds + into this country...._ + + _I had a tooth out yesterday, ~he writes, 3.9.21~,—until then + I had thirteen of my own left, an unlucky number—and was not + at my best.... The tooth was extracted at a high cost, in the + presence of a dentist, an anaesthetist and my body-physician + but without unpleasant consequences. And this afternoon I go to + the Sutros for a brief week-end._ + + _I have no news, except that I have bought some most attractive + socks, or half-hose...._ + + _... I have no news, ~he complains, 12.9.21.~ I write to you + simply out of friendship and duty. I spent five hours at the + Zoo y’day.... We lunched there; so did most of the beasts, + heavily. You should have seen S. staggering under the weight + of about nine pounds of the most expensive oranges, bananas, + apples and onions, not to mention sugar, monkey-nuts, and two + raw eggs. Say what you will, it is laffable to feed a small + monkey with slices of apple till he has both pouches full, all + four hands and his mouth. When you hand him the eighth slice, + you wait in breathless expectation...._ + + _I had a tooth extracted last week, reducing the number of my + real teeth to twelve. To-day the number of my pseudo-teeth is + to be increased to eighteen (quite correct: they swindle you + out of a couple) and I propose to lunch at the Reform Club with + many gaps in my mouth._ + + _I have arranged terms for two luvverly rooms at the Tregenna + Castle Hotel, St. Ives, from 1 November to 1 April. Rooms face + south, away from the beastly ocean; breakfast in the bedroom; + baths ~a volonte~. We hope to be well and happy there. I must + see much of you before you go to Sweden...._ + + _... I rejoice to hear that you are going to Copenhagen. It is + a charming coquette of a little city, with which you will fall + head over ears in love._ + + _Not to take a second risk, I send this to Crosswood, ~he + writes 13.9.21~, and I beg you to lay me at the feet of your + gracious chatelaine; and, if E. is there, you can give her the + love of her Uncle Tex._ + + _At the Reform Club ... I played a little bridge ... and won + 29/-; then, finding my rate of progress rather slow, I veered + off to Cleveland Club and won £7.12.0 more. This satisfied + me; and I came home, ate two little fillets of sole, some + apple-sauce and custard and (damn the expense) a ha’porth of + cheese and so to bed._ + + _To complete my ~Diary of a Nobody~, I am glad that you have + changed your name from Gowing to Cumming and I am_ + + _ever yours,_ + + _Tex._ + + _Many thanks for your letter of y’day, ~he writes, 14.9.21~, + bearing traces of the pear skin and plumstones therein + mentioned, not to speak of a spot of butter and a small burn + from your after-brekker cigarette._ + + _I have crossed Shap in a swift and powerful railway-train, + with a whiskered and spectacled judge of the high court, in the + opposite seat. I remember old Day’s teaching me how to observe + whether one were going up hill or down by watching the roadside + rills:_ + + _“Water invariably flows downwards,” said he, gravely...._ + + _Ecclefechan I don’t know and don’t want to; Carlisle, I do; + Gretna Green I do: I never want to set eyes on either again. + I have a desolating memory of brown fields between Carlisle + and Gretna Green. By now you have, I expect, seen as much + of England as you wish to see in the course of your natural + life...._ + + _To-day, seized with a sudden lech for art and beauty, my wiff + and I are going to Hammersmith to hear ~The Beggar’s Opera~...._ + + _I have again lost your waybill, ~he writes, 16.9.21~, and + cannot tell if this will still find you at Glow-worm Castle._ + + _~The Beggar’s Opera~ was a great affair._ + + _Little has happened to me since._ + + _But to-day Mrs. Asquith and her daughter are coming to play + different forms of the game of auction bridge at the Cleveland + Club._ + + _And to-morrow ... ah, to-morrow! To-morrow I am going to stay + for the week-end with a hostess, at or near Marlow, whose name + I do not even know.... I am promised a perfectly good end; + but so were any babies of old who ended in being eaten by the + ogress._ + + _We are never too old for adventures; but pray that I come + safely out of this one._ + +On 30.9.21 he writes: + + _Very many thanks for ~The Secret Victory~, with the delightful + dedication and preface. I am not at all sure that I shall not + read the book again._ + + _I have just returned from an interview with the local + income-tax brigand which filled me with some apprehensions.... + After a ... jest or two, I left the brigand’s cave + unscathed...._ + + _I go to the Wharf to-morrow for a week and may stay on a day + or two longer, if pressed: I always do, you know...._ + +I had been invited to deliver some lectures in Sweden and Denmark. +Teixeira was good enough to read the manuscript of these, as of almost +everything I wrote. With his letter of 3.10.21 he returned the first: + + _Here is your lecture ... I really cannot suggest any cuts. My + one and only lecture read 2¾ minutes: this is no reason why + yours should not read an hour and a quarter. Does any one want + to go and sit in a hall, with free light and warmth thrown in + for less than an hour and a quarter? No; the Swedes will admire + your fluency and be pleased with you._ + +On my return to England, he asks, 14.11.21: + + _When do we meet? We have decided to leave on the 30th. I can + lunch with you to-morrow, if you like, and bring you your two + Ewald books._ + +Teixeira’s departure to Cornwall, already delayed by his wife’s illness, +had now to be postponed again, as he was prostrated with ptomaine +poisoning. + +Both invalids were sufficiently recovered to face the journey on 2 +December; and, next day, Teixeira sent me news of his safe arrival: + + _Tregenna Castle Hotel, + St. Ives, Cornwall, + 3 December, 1921._ + + _My dear Stephen:_ + + _Thanks for your letter that reached me just before I left + town. This is my address: what else would it be? And the + enclosed ~[an invitation to lecture]~ is sent to show you that + you are not the only Beppo on the peach (damn your British + metaphors!): you might not believe it otherwise. But you may + picture the courteous terms in which I declined._ + + _There is nothing for nervous dyspepsia or gastric + horribobblums like seven goodish hours in a swift and powerful + railway-express. I have been free from pain or sickness for the + first night since Wednesday week. But I slept little. From 1 + a.m. onwards I spent a sleepless, painless night._ + + _The hotel is comfortable and commodious in an old-fashioned + country-house way; no central heating, but big fires; a certain + amount of intrigue with Lizzie the chambermaid to secure a + really hot bath: you know the sort of thing; immense grounds, a + very park of 100 acres, which I shall never leave, because, if + I did, I should never get back: we stand too high._ + + _Bless you._ + + _Ever yours, + Tex._ + +It was the last letter that I ever received from him; and on Monday, +December the fifth, as I was in the middle of answering it, a telegram +informed me that he had died that morning. As he was getting up, he +collapsed in his wife’s arms and slipped, unconscious, on the floor. +Death was instantaneous and, it may be presumed and hoped, painless. He +was buried in the Holy Roman Catholic Cemetery at St. Ives; and a requiem +mass for the repose of his soul was said at the Brompton Oratory. + +Even those with best cause to suspect how nerveless was his grasp on life +could not readily believe that one who loved life so well was to enjoy no +more of it. “He was spared old age,” said one friend; but to another Tex +had lately confessed that he would like to live for ever. + +Before he left London, we said good-bye for five months: he was to +winter in Cornwall, I in the West Indies. In seeing again the exquisite +handwriting of these many hundreds of letters that commemorate our +friendship for the last six years of his life, I at least cannot feel +that his voice has grown silent or that his laughter is at an end. The +big, solemn figure is vividly present; the favourite phrases and the +familiar gestures are stamped for ever on the memory of any one that +loved him. + +I am writing four thousand miles away from St. Ives: and it may be +possible to fancy that he has been ordered to remain there longer than we +expected. This time there may be no diary; perhaps the only letters will +be those already written; he may seem not to hear all that he once loved +hearing; but, wherever he has gone, his personality remains behind. + +It was an old-standing bond that the survivor should write of the other. +I have tried to make Teixeira paint his own portrait. If his letters +have failed to reveal him, what can I add? His literary position is +unchallenged; those who knew him how slightly soever knew his humour and +wit, his whimsical charm, his understanding and toleration. Those who +knew him best had strongest reason for loving him most deeply. Those who +knew him not missed knowing a ripe scholar, a fine and tender spirit, a +great and gallant gentleman, a matchless companion and the truest friend +on earth. + + _BERBICE, + BRITISH GUIANA_ + 15 February, 1922. + + + + +FOOTNOTES + + +[1] The Jonkheer Alexander Louis Teixeira de Mattos san Paio y Mendes. +The family was Jewish in origin and was driven from Portugal by the +persecution of the Holy Office. Teixeira was naturalized a British +subject in the middle of the war and gave up his Dutch title. Even before +this, he had contracted his full style to Alexander Teixeira de Mattos on +ceremonial occasions, to A. Teixeira in departmental correspondence and +to Tex or T. in letters to his friends. + +[2] I quote from Chapter VII of _While I Remember_, where the genesis of +the department is described, though only from hearsay. + +[3] Even in Teixeira’s wide reading there were occasional gaps; and, +until I brought it to his notice, he was unacquainted with the celebrated +life of Sir Christopher Wren by Mr. E. Clerihew and Mr. G. K. Chesterton: + + ‘Sir Christopher Wren + Said, “I am going to dine with some men. + If anybody calls + Say I am designing St. Paul’s.”’ + +After reading it, Teixeira’s nightly valediction as he left for his +bridge club was: “I think ... yes, I think I shall design St. Paul’s for +an hour or two.” + +[4] From the notice of his death in _The Times_. + +[5] Future letters were dated from ‘Hellgate’. + +[6] The Burgomaster of Stillemonde. + +[7] Frank MacKinnon K.C. + +[8] A short time before, Teixeira, who affected a loathing for music, had +been invited to hear the same quartette. Abandoning his usual gentleness +of speech and spirit, he had accepted on condition of being allowed to +massacre the quartette. + +[9] Hymn to Aphrodite. + +[10] Eimar O’Duffy’s _Wasted Island_. + +[11] Incidentally, my father lived 85 years, during all of which he +never spoke of his particular regiment, brigade, division or army corps +as anything but the Coldcream Guards; not in jest but in sheer, manly, +gentlemanly ignorance. + +[12] Perfectly good seventeenth-century English. + +[13] _Even the French write_, invariably, un coup d’Etat, le conseil +d’Etat, but l’état des coups, l’état du conseil. + +[14] The Concise Oxford Dictionary. + +[15] The reference here is to a story illustrative of the tricks which a +man’s memory sometimes plays him: + +Reading in the _Morning Post_, that Mr. John Brown, of 500 Clarges +Street, is shortly leaving for Uganda on a big-game-shooting expedition +and would like a gentleman to come with him, sharing expenses, thought +no more of the advertisement and went about his day’s work. That night +he dined intemperately. On being ejected from his club, he was bound +for home when he recalled the forgotten advertisement and decided that +something must be done about it. + +Driving to 500 Clarges Street, he demanded to see Mr. John Brown. + +“Are you Mr. John Brown?” he enquired of a sleepy and illhumoured figure +in pyjamas. + +“I am, sir,” answered John Brown. + +“You’re the Mr. John Brown going shooting Uganda?” + +“Yes.” + +“You want shome one come with you?” + +“Yes.”... + +“Share ’spenshes?” + +“Yes.” + +“You put that ’vertisshment in _Morning Posht_?” + +“Yes.” + +“I thought sho. Shorry knock you up. Felt I musht tell you.... that I’m +not coming.”... + +[16] They would have gone quite mad over the Russian Ballet. + +[17] The story in question was of a member of the Cave-Brown-Cave family, +who, after conversing with a stranger in a railway-carriage, was asked +his name. + +“Cave-Brown-Cave,” he replied. “And may I ask yours?” + +“Home-Sweet-Home,” answered his infuriated interlocutor. + +[18] In Chancery. + +[19] In preparation for visiting South America I had been vaccinated. + +[20] Ultimately this was published with the title: _The Law Inevitable_. + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75130 *** |