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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Crystal Age, by W. H. Hudson
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Crystal Age
+
+Author: W. H. Hudson
+
+Posting Date: March 24, 2014 [EBook #7401]
+Release Date: February, 2005
+First Posted: April 24, 2003
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A CRYSTAL AGE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Eric Eldred, David Garcia and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A CRYSTAL AGE
+
+BY W. H. HUDSON
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE
+
+_Romances of the future, however fantastic they may be, have for most
+of us a perennial if mild interest, since they are born of a very common
+feeling--a sense of dissatisfaction with the existing order of things,
+combined with a vague faith in or hope of a better one to come. The
+picture put before us is false; we knew it would be false before looking
+at it, since we cannot imagine what is unknown any more than we can
+build without materials. Our mental atmosphere surrounds and shuts us in
+like our own skins; no one can boast that he has broken out of that
+prison. The vast, unbounded prospect lies before us, but, as the poet
+mournfully adds, "clouds and darkness rest upon it." Nevertheless we
+cannot suppress all curiosity, or help asking one another, What is your
+dream--your ideal? What is your News from Nowhere, or, rather, what is
+the result of the little shake your hand has given to the old pasteboard
+toy with a dozen bits of colored glass for contents? And, most important
+of all, can you present it in a narrative or romance which will enable
+me to pass an idle hour not disagreeably? How, for instance, does it
+compare in this respect with other prophetic books on the shelf?_
+
+_I am not referring to living authors; least of all to that flamingo of
+letters who for the last decade or so has been a wonder to our island
+birds. For what could I say of him that is not known to every one--that
+he is the tallest of fowls, land or water, of a most singular shape, and
+has black-tipped crimson wings folded under his delicate rose-colored
+plumage? These other books referred to, written, let us say, from thirty
+or forty years to a century or two ago, amuse us in a way their poor
+dead authors never intended. Most amusing are the dead ones who take
+themselves seriously, whose books are pulpits quaintly carved and
+decorated with precious stones and silken canopies in which they stand
+and preach to or at their contemporaries._
+
+_In like manner, in going through this book of mine after so many years I
+am amused at the way it is colored by the little cults and crazes, and
+modes of thought of the 'eighties of the last century. They were so
+important then, and now, if remembered at all, they appear so trivial!
+It pleases me to be diverted in this way at "A Crystal Age"--to find, in
+fact, that I have not stood still while the world has been moving._
+
+_This criticism refers to the case, the habit, of the book rather than
+to its spirit, since when we write we do, as the red man thought, impart
+something of our souls to the paper, and it is probable that if I were
+to write a new dream of the future it would, though in some respects
+very different from this, still be a dream and picture of the human race
+in its forest period._
+
+_Alas that in this case the wish cannot induce belief! For now I remember
+another thing which Nature said--that earthly excellence can come in no
+way but one, and the ending of passion and strife is the beginning of
+decay. It is indeed a hard saying, and the hardest lesson we can learn
+of her without losing love and bidding good-by forever to hope._
+
+W. H. H.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A CRYSTAL AGE
+
+
+Chapter 1
+
+I do not quite know how it happened, my recollection of the whole matter
+ebbing in a somewhat clouded condition. I fancy I had gone somewhere on
+a botanizing expedition, but whether at home or abroad I don't know. At
+all events, I remember that I had taken up the study of plants with a
+good deal of enthusiasm, and that while hunting for some variety in the
+mountains I sat down to rest on the edge of a ravine. Perhaps it was on
+the ledge of an overhanging rock; anyhow, if I remember rightly, the
+ground gave way all about me, precipitating me below. The fall was a
+very considerable one--probably thirty or forty feet, or more, and I was
+rendered unconscious. How long I lay there under the heap of earth and
+stones carried down in my fall it is impossible to say: perhaps a long
+time; but at last I came to myself and struggled up from the
+_debris_, like a mole coming to the surface of the earth to feel
+the genial sunshine on his dim eyeballs. I found myself standing (oddly
+enough, on all fours) in an immense pit created by the overthrow of a
+gigantic dead tree with a girth of about thirty or forty feet. The tree
+itself had rolled down to the bottom of the ravine; but the pit in which
+it had left the huge stumps of severed roots was, I found, situated in a
+gentle slope at the top of the bank! How, then, I could have fallen
+seemingly so far from no height at all, puzzled me greatly: it looked as
+if the solid earth had been indulging in some curious transformation
+pranks during those moments or minutes of insensibility. Another
+singular circumstance was that I had a great mass of small fibrous
+rootlets tightly woven about my whole person, so that I was like a
+colossal basket-worm in its case, or a big man-shaped bottle covered
+with wicker-work. It appeared as if the roots had _grown_ round me!
+Luckily they were quite sapless and brittle, and without bothering my
+brains too much about the matter, I set to work to rid myself of them.
+After stripping the woody covering off, I found that my tourist suit of
+rough Scotch homespun had not suffered much harm, although the cloth
+exuded a damp, moldy smell; also that my thick-soled climbing boots had
+assumed a cracked rusty appearance as if I had been engaged in some
+brick-field operations; while my felt hat was in such a discolored and
+battered condition that I felt almost ashamed to put it on my head. My
+watch was gone; perhaps I had not been wearing it, but my pocket-book in
+which I had my money was safe in my breast pocket.
+
+Glad and grateful at having escaped with unbroken bones from such a
+dangerous accident, I set out walking along the edge of the ravine,
+which soon broadened to a valley running between two steep hills; and
+then, seeing water at the bottom and feeling very dry, I ran down the
+slope to get a drink. Lying flat on my chest to slake my thirst animal
+fashion, I was amazed at the reflection the water gave back of my face:
+it was, skin and hair, thickly encrusted with clay and rootlets! Having
+taken a long drink, I threw off my clothes to have a bath; and after
+splashing about for half an hour managed to rid my skin of its
+accumulations of dirt. While drying in the wind I shook the loose sand
+and clay from my garments, then dressed, and, feeling greatly refreshed,
+proceeded on my walk.
+
+For an hour or so I followed the valley in its many windings, but,
+failing to see any dwelling-place, I ascended a hill to get a view of
+the surrounding country. The prospect which disclosed itself when I had
+got a couple of hundred feet above the surrounding level, appeared
+unfamiliar. The hills among which I had been wandering were now behind
+me; before me spread a wide rolling country, beyond which rose a
+mountain range resembling in the distance blue banked-up clouds with
+summits and peaks of pearly whiteness. Looking on this scene I could
+hardly refrain from shouting with joy, so glad did the sunlit expanse of
+earth, and the pure exhilarating mountain breeze, make me feel. The
+season was late summer--that was plain to see; the ground was moist, as
+if from recent showers, and the earth everywhere had that intense living
+greenness with which it reclothes itself when the greater heats are
+over; but the foliage of the woods was already beginning to be touched
+here and there with the yellow and russet hues of decay. A more tranquil
+and soul-satisfying scene could not be imagined: the dear old mother
+earth was looking her very best; while the shifting golden sunlight, the
+mysterious haze in the distance, and the glint of a wide stream not very
+far off, seemed to spiritualize her "happy autumn fields," and bring
+them into a closer kinship with the blue over-arching sky. There was one
+large house or mansion in sight, but no town, nor even a hamlet, and not
+one solitary spire. In vain I scanned the horizon, waiting impatiently
+to see the distant puff of white steam from some passing engine. This
+troubled me not a little, for I had no idea that I had drifted so far
+from civilization in my search for specimens, or whatever it was that
+brought me to this pretty, primitive wilderness. Not quite a wilderness,
+however, for there, within a short hour's walk of the hill, stood the
+one great stone mansion, close to the river I had mentioned. There were
+also horses and cows in sight, and a number of scattered sheep were
+grazing on the hillside beneath me.
+
+Strange to relate, I met with a little misadventure on account of the
+sheep--an animal which one is accustomed to regard as of a timid and
+inoffensive nature. When I set out at a brisk pace to walk to the house
+I have spoken of, in order to make some inquiries there, a few of the
+sheep that happened to be near began to bleat loudly, as if alarmed, and
+by and by they came hurrying after me, apparently in a great state of
+excitement. I did not mind them much, but presently a pair of horses,
+attracted by their bleatings, also seemed struck at my appearance, and
+came at a swift gallop to within twenty yards of me. They were
+magnificent-looking brutes, evidently a pair of well-groomed carriage
+horses, for their coats, which were of a fine bronze color, sparkled
+wonderfully in the sunshine. In other respects they were very unlike
+carriage animals, for they had tails reaching to the ground, like
+funeral horses, and immense black leonine manes, which gave them a
+strikingly bold and somewhat formidable appearance. For some moments
+they stood with heads erect, gazing fixedly at me, and then
+simultaneously delivered a snort of defiance or astonishment, so loud
+and sudden that it startled me like the report of a gun. This tremendous
+equine blast brought yet another enemy on the field in the shape of a
+huge milk-white bull with long horns: a very noble kind of animal, but
+one which I always prefer to admire from behind a hedge, or at a
+distance through a field-glass. Fortunately his wrathful mutterings gave
+me timely notice of his approach, and without waiting to discover his
+intentions, I incontinently fled down the slope to the refuge of a grove
+or belt of trees clothing the lower portion of the hillside. Spent and
+panting from my run, I embraced a big tree, and turning to face the foe,
+found that I had not been followed: sheep, horses, and bull were all
+grouped together just where I had left them, apparently holding a
+consultation, or comparing notes.
+
+The trees where I had sought shelter were old, and grew here and there,
+singly or in scattered groups: it was a pretty wilderness of mingled
+tree, shrub and flower. I was surprised to find here some very large and
+ancient-looking fig-trees, and numbers of wasps and flies were busy
+feeding on a few over-ripe figs on the higher branches. Honey-bees also
+roamed about everywhere, extracting sweets from the autumn bloom, and
+filling the sunny glades with a soft, monotonous murmur of sound.
+Walking on full of happy thoughts and a keen sense of the sweetness of
+life pervading me, I presently noticed that a multitude of small birds
+were gathering about me, flitting through the trees overhead and the
+bushes on either hand, but always keeping near me, apparently as much
+excited at my presence as if I had been a gigantic owl, or some such
+unnatural monster. Their increasing numbers and incessant excited
+chirping and chattering at first served to amuse, but in the end began
+to irritate me. I observed, too, that the alarm was spreading, and that
+larger birds, usually shy of men--pigeons, jays, and magpies, I fancied
+they were--now began to make their appearance. Could it be, thought I
+with some concern, that I had wandered into some uninhabited wilderness,
+to cause so great a commotion among the little feathered people? I very
+soon dismissed this as an idle thought, for one does not find houses,
+domestic animals, and fruit-trees in desert places. No, it was simply
+the inherent cantankerousness of little birds which caused them to annoy
+me. Looking about on the ground for something to throw at them, I found
+in the grass a freshly-fallen walnut, and, breaking the shell, I quickly
+ate the contents. Never had anything tasted so pleasant to me before!
+But it had a curious effect on me, for, whereas before eating it I had
+not felt hungry, I now seemed to be famishing, and began excitedly
+searching about for more nuts. They were lying everywhere in the
+greatest abundance; for, without knowing it, I had been walking through
+a grove composed in large part of old walnut-trees. Nut after nut was
+picked up and eagerly devoured, and I must have eaten four or five dozen
+before my ravenous appetite was thoroughly appeased. During this feast I
+had paid no attention to the birds, but when my hunger was over I began
+again to feel annoyed at their trivial persecutions, and so continued to
+gather the fallen nuts to throw at them. It amused and piqued me at the
+same time to see how wide of the mark my missiles went. I could hardly
+have hit a haystack at a distance of ten yards. After half an hour's
+vigorous practice my right hand began to recover its lost cunning, and I
+was at last greatly delighted when of my nuts went hissing like a bullet
+through the leaves, not further than a yard from the wren, or whatever
+the little beggar was, I had aimed at. Their Impertinences did not like
+this at all; they began to find out that I was a rather dangerous person
+to meddle with: their ranks were broken, they became demoralized and
+scattered, in all directions, and I was finally left master of the
+field.
+
+"Dolt that I am," I suddenly exclaimed, "to be fooling away my time when
+the nearest railway station or hotel is perhaps twenty miles away."
+
+I hurried on, but when I got to the end of the grove, on the green sward
+near some laurel and juniper bushes, I came on an excavation apparently
+just made, the loose earth which had been dug out looking quite fresh
+and moist. The hole or foss was narrow, about five feet deep and seven
+feet long, and looked, I imagined, curiously like a grave. A few yards
+away was a pile of dry brushwood, and some faggots bound together with
+ropes of straw, all apparently freshly cut from the neighboring bushes.
+As I stood there, wondering what these things meant, I happened to
+glance away in the direction of the house where I intended to call,
+which was not now visible owing to an intervening grove of tall trees,
+and was surprised to discover a troop of about fifteen persons advancing
+along the valley in my direction. Before them marched a tall
+white-bearded old man; next came eight men, bearing a platform on their
+shoulders with some heavy burden resting upon it; and behind these
+followed the others. I began to think that they were actually carrying a
+corpse, with the intention of giving it burial in that very pit beside
+which I was standing; and, although it looked most unlike a funeral, for
+no person in the procession wore black, the thought strengthened to a
+conviction when I became able to distinguish a recumbent, human-like
+form in a shroud-like covering on the platform. It seemed altogether a
+very unusual proceeding, and made me feel extremely uncomfortable; so
+much so that I considered it prudent to step back behind the bushes,
+where I could watch the doings of the processionists without being
+observed.
+
+Led by the old man--who carried, suspended by thin chains, a large
+bronze censer, or brazier rather, which sent out a thin continuous
+wreath of smoke--they came straight on to the pit; and after depositing
+their burden on the grass, remained standing for some minutes,
+apparently to rest after their walk, all conversing together, but in
+subdued tones, so that I could not catch their words, although standing
+within fifteen yards of the grave. The uncoffined corpse, which seemed
+that of a full-grown man, was covered with a white cloth, and rested on
+a thick straw mat, provided with handles along the sides. On these
+things, however, I bestowed but a hasty glance, so profoundly absorbed
+had I become in watching the group of living human beings before me; for
+they were certainly utterly unlike any fellow-creatures I had ever
+encountered before. The old man was tall and spare, and from his
+snowy-white majestic beard I took him to be about seventy years old; but
+he was straight as an arrow, and his free movements and elastic tread
+were those of a much younger man. His head was adorned with a dark red
+skull-cap, and he wore a robe covering the whole body and reaching to
+the ankles, of a deep yellow or rhubarb color; but his long wide sleeves
+under his robe were dark red, embroidered with yellow flowers. The other
+men had no covering on their heads, and their luxuriant hair, worn to
+the shoulders, was, in most cases, very dark. Their garments were also
+made in a different fashion, and consisted of a kilt-like dress, which
+came half-way to the knees, a pale yellow shirt fitting tight to the
+skin, and over it a loose sleeveless vest. The entire legs were cased in
+stockings, curious in pattern and color. The women wore garments
+resembling those of the men, but the tight-fitting sleeves reached only
+half-way to the elbow, the rest of the arm being bare; and the
+outergarment was all in one piece, resembling a long sleeveless jacket,
+reaching below the hips. The color of their dresses varied, but in most
+cases different shades of blue and subdued yellow predominated. In all,
+the stockings showed deeper and richer shades of color than the other
+garments; and in their curiously segmented appearance, and in the
+harmonious arrangement of the tints, they seemed to represent the skins
+of pythons and other beautifully variegated serpents. All wore low shoes
+of an orange-brown color, fitting closely so as to display the shape of
+the foot.
+
+From the moment of first seeing them I had had no doubt about the sex of
+the tall old leader of the procession, his shining white beard being as
+conspicuous at a distance as a shield or a banner; but looking at the
+others I was at first puzzled to know whether the party was composed of
+men or women, or of both, so much did they resemble each other in
+height, in their smooth faces, and in the length of their hair. On a
+closer inspection I noticed the difference of dress of the sexes; also
+that the men, if not sterner, had faces at all events less mild and soft
+in expression than the women, and also a slight perceptible down on the
+cheeks and upper lip.
+
+After a first hasty survey of the group in general, I had eyes for only
+one person in it--a fine graceful girl about fourteen years old, and the
+youngest by far of the party. A description of this girl will give some
+idea, albeit a very poor one, of the faces and general appearance of
+this strange people I had stumbled on. Her dress, if a garment so brief
+can be called a dress, showed a slaty-blue pattern on a straw-colored
+ground, while her stockings were darker shades of the same colors. Her
+eyes, at the distance I stood from her, appeared black, or nearly black,
+but when seen closely they proved to be green--a wonderfully pure,
+tender sea-green; and the others, I found, had eyes of the same hue. Her
+hair fell to her shoulders; but it was very wavy or curly, and strayed
+in small tendril-like tresses over her neck, forehead and cheeks; in
+color it was golden black--that is, black in shade, but when touched
+with sunlight every hair became a thread of shining red-gold; and in
+some lights it looked like raven-black hair powdered with gold-dust. As
+to her features, the forehead was broader and lower, the nose larger,
+and the lips more slender, than in our most beautiful female types. The
+color was also different, the delicately molded mouth being purple-red
+instead of the approved cherry or coral hue; while the complexion was a
+clear dark, and the color, which mantled the cheeks in moments of
+excitement, was a dim or dusky rather than a rosy red.
+
+The exquisite form and face of this young girl, from the first moment of
+seeing her, produced a very deep impression; and I continued watching
+her every movement and gesture with an intense, even a passionate
+interest. She had a quantity of flowers in her hand; but these sweet
+emblems, I observed, were all gayly colored, which seemed strange, for
+in most places white flowers are used in funeral ceremonies. Some of the
+men who had followed the body carried in their hands broad,
+three-cornered bronze shovels, with short black handles, and these they
+had dropped upon the grass on arriving at the grave. Presently the old
+man stooped and drew the covering back from the dead one's face--a
+rigid, marble-white face set in a loose mass of black hair. The others
+gathered round, and some standing, others kneeling, bent on the still
+countenance before them a long earnest gaze, as if taking an eternal
+farewell of one they had deeply loved. At this moment the the beautiful
+girl I have described all at once threw herself with a sobbing cry on
+her knees before the corpse, and, stooping, kissed the face with
+passionate grief. "Oh, my beloved, must we now leave you alone forever!"
+she cried between the sobs that shook her whole frame. "Oh, my love--my
+love--my love, will you come back to us no more!"
+
+The others all appeared deeply affected at her grief, and presently a
+young man standing by raised her from the ground and drew her gently
+against his side, where for some minutes she continued convulsively
+weeping. Some of the other men now passed ropes through the handles of
+the straw mat on which the corpse rested, and raising it from the
+platform lowered it into the foss. Each person in turn then advanced and
+dropped some flowers into the grave, uttering the one word "Farewell" as
+they did so; after which the loose earth was shoveled in with the bronze
+implements. Over the mound the hurdle on which the straw mat had rested
+was then placed, the dry brushwood and faggots heaped over it and
+ignited with a coal from the brazier. White smoke and crackling flames
+issued anon from the pile, and in a few moments the whole was in a
+fierce blaze.
+
+Standing around they all waited in silence until the fire had burnt
+itself out; then the old man advancing stretched his arms above the
+white and still smoking ashes and cried in a loud voice: "Farewell
+forever, O well beloved son! With deep sorrow and tears we have given
+you back to Earth; but not until she has made the sweet grass and
+flowers grow again on this spot, scorched and made desolate with fire,
+shall our hearts be healed of their wound and forget their grief."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 2
+
+The thrilling, pathetic tone in which these words were uttered affected
+me not a little; and when the ceremony was over I continued staring
+vacantly at the speaker, ignorant of the fact that the beautiful young
+girl had her wide-open, startled eyes fixed on the bush which, I vainly
+imagined, concealed me from view.
+
+All at once she cried out: "Oh, father, look there! Who is that
+strange-looking man watching us from behind the bushes?"
+
+They all turned, and then I felt that fourteen or fifteen pairs of very
+keen eyes were on me, seeing me very plainly indeed, for in my curiosity
+and excitement I had come out from the thicker bushes to place myself
+behind a ragged, almost leafless shrub, which afforded the merest
+apology for a shelter. Putting a bold face on the matter, although I did
+not feel very easy, I came out and advanced to them, removing my
+battered old hat on the way, and bowing repeatedly to the assembled
+company. My courteous salutation was not returned; but all, with
+increasing astonishment pictured on their faces, continued staring at me
+as if they were looking on some grotesque apparition. Thinking it best
+to give an account of myself at once, and to apologize for intruding on
+their mysteries, I addressed myself to the old man:
+
+"I really beg your pardon," I said, "for having disturbed you at such an
+inconvenient time, and while you are engaged in these--these solemn
+rites; but I assure you, sir, it has been quite accidental. I happened
+to be walking here when I saw you coming, and thought it best to step
+out of the way until--well, until the funeral was over. The fact is, I
+met with a serious accident in the mountains over there. I fell down
+into a ravine, and a great heap of earth and stones fell on and stunned
+me, and I do not know how long I lay there before I recovered my senses.
+I daresay I am trespassing, but I am a perfect stranger here, and quite
+lost, and--and perhaps a little confused after my fall, and perhaps you
+will kindly tell me where to go to get some refreshment, and find out
+where I am."
+
+"Your story is a very strange one," said the old man in reply, after a
+pause of considerable duration. "That you are a perfect stranger in this
+place is evident from your appearance, your uncouth dress, and your
+thick speech."
+
+His words made me blush hotly, although I should not have minded his
+very personal remarks much if that beautiful girl had not been standing
+there listening to everything. My _uncouth_ garments, by the way,
+were made by a fashionable West End tailor, and fitted me perfectly,
+although just now they were, of course, very dirty. It was also a
+surprise to hear that I had a _thick speech_, since I had always
+been considered a remarkably clear speaker and good singer, and had
+frequently both sung and recited in public, at amateur entertainments.
+
+After a distressing interval of silence, during which they all continued
+regarding me with unabated curiosity, the old gentleman condescended to
+address me again and asked me my name and country.
+
+"My country," said I, with the natural pride of a Briton, "is England,
+and my name is Smith."
+
+"No such country is known to me," he returned; "nor have I ever heard
+such a name as yours."
+
+I was rather taken aback at his words, and yet did not just then by any
+means realize their full import. I was thinking only about my name; for
+without having penetrated into any perfectly savage country, I had been
+about the world a great deal for a young man, visiting the Colonies,
+India, Yokohama, and other distant places, and I had never yet been told
+that the name of Smith was an unfamiliar one.
+
+"I hardly know what to say," I returned, for he was evidently waiting
+for me to add something more to what I had stated. "It rather staggers
+me to hear that my name-well, you have not heard of _me_, of
+course, but there have been a great many distinguished men of the same
+name: Sydney Smith, for instance, and--and several others." It mortified
+me just then to find that I had forgotten all the other distinguished
+Smiths.
+
+He shook his head, and continued watching my face.
+
+"Not heard of them!" I exclaimed. "Well, I suppose you have heard of
+some of my great countrymen: Beaconsfield, Gladstone, Darwin,
+Burne-Jones, Ruskin, Queen Victoria, Tennyson, George Eliot, Herbert
+Spencer, General Gordon, Lord Randolph Churchill--"
+
+As he continued to shake his head after each name I at length paused.
+
+"Who are all these people you have named?" he asked.
+
+"They are all great and illustrious men and women who have a world-wide
+reputation," I answered.
+
+"And are there no more of them--have you told me the names of _all_
+the great people you have ever known or heard of?" he said, with a
+curious smile.
+
+"No, indeed," I answered, nettled at his words and manner. "It would
+take me until to-morrow to name _all_ the great men I have ever
+heard of. I suppose you have heard the names of Napoleon, Wellington,
+Nelson, Dante, Luther, Calvin, Bismarck, Voltaire?"
+
+He still shook his head.
+
+"Well, then," I continued, "Homer, Socrates, Alexander the Great,
+Confucius, Zoroaster, Plato, Shakespeare." Then, growing thoroughly
+desperate, I added in a burst: "Noah, Moses, Columbus, Hannibal, Adam
+and Eve!"
+
+"I am quite sure that I have never heard of any of these names," he
+answered, still with that curious smile. "Nevertheless I can understand
+your surprise. It sometimes happens that the mind, owing an an imperfect
+adjustment of its faculties, resembles the uneducated vision in its
+method of judgment, regarding the things which are near as great and
+important, and those further away as less important, according to their
+distance. In such a case the individuals one hears about or associates
+with, come to be looked upon as the great and illustrious beings of the
+world, and all men in all places are expected to be familiar with their
+names. But come, my children, our sorrowful task is over, let us now
+return to the house. Come with us, Smith, and you shall have the
+refreshment you require."
+
+I was, of course, pleased with the invitation, but did not relish being
+addressed as "Smith," like some mere laborer or other common person
+tramping about the country.
+
+The long disconcerting scrutiny I had been subjected to had naturally
+made me very uncomfortable, and caused me to drop a little behind the
+others as we walked towards the house. The old man, however, still kept
+at my side; but whether from motives of courtesy, or because he wished
+to badger me a little more about my uncouth appearance and defective
+intellect, I was not sure. I was not anxious to continue the
+conversation, which had not proved very satisfactory; moreover, the
+beautiful girl I have already mentioned so frequently, was now walking
+just before me, hand in hand with the young man who had raised her from
+the ground. I was absorbed in admiration of her graceful figure,
+and--shall I be forgiven for mentioning such a detail?--her exquisitely
+rounded legs under her brief and beautiful garments. To my mind the
+garment was quite long enough. Every time I spoke, for my companion
+still maintained the conversation and I was obliged to reply, she hung
+back a little to catch my words. At such times she would also turn her
+pretty head partially round so as to see me: then her glances, beginning
+at my face, would wander down to my legs, and her lips would twitch and
+curl a little, seeming to express disgust and amusement at the same
+time. I was beginning to hate my legs, or rather my trousers, for I
+considered that under them I had as good a pair of calves as any man in
+the company.
+
+Presently I thought of something to say, something very simple, which my
+dignified old friend would be able to answer without intimating that he
+considered me a wild man of the woods or an escaped lunatic.
+
+"Can you tell me," I said pleasantly, "what is the name of your nearest
+town or city? how far it is from this place, and how I can get there?"
+
+At this question, or series of questions, the young girl turned quite
+round, and, waiting until I was even with her, she continued her walk at
+my side, although still holding her companion's hand.
+
+The old man looked at me with a grave smile--that smile was fast
+becoming intolerable--and said: "Are you so fond of honey, Smith? You
+shall have as much as you require without disturbing the bees. They are
+now taking advantage of this second spring to lay by a sufficient
+provision before winter sets in."
+
+After pondering some time over these enigmatical words, I said: "I
+daresay we are at cross purposes again. I mean," I added hurriedly,
+seeing the inquiring look on his face, "that we do not exactly
+understand each other, for the subject of honey was not in my thoughts."
+
+"What, then, do you mean by a city?" he asked.
+
+"What do I mean? Why, a city, I take it, is nothing more than a
+collection or congeries of houses--hundreds and thousands, or hundreds
+_of_ thousands of houses, all built close together, where one can
+live very comfortably for years without seeing a blade of grass."
+
+"I am afraid," he returned, "that the accident you met with in the
+mountains must have caused some injury to your brain; for I cannot in
+any other way account for these strange fantasies."
+
+"Do you mean seriously to tell me, sir, that you have never even heard
+of the existence of a city, where millions of human beings live crowded
+together in a small space? Of course I mean a small space comparatively;
+for in some cities you might walk all day without getting into the
+fields; and a city like that might be compared to a beehive so large
+that a bee might fly in a straight line all day without getting out of
+it."
+
+It struck me the moment I finished speaking that this comparison was not
+quite right somehow; but he did not ask me to explain: he had evidently
+ceased to pay any attention to what I said. The girl looked at me with
+an expression of pity, not to say contempt, and I felt at the same time
+ashamed and vexed. This served to rouse a kind of dogged spirit in me,
+and I returned to the subject once more.
+
+"Surely," I said, "you have heard of such cities as Paris, Vienna, Rome,
+Athens, Babylon, Jerusalem?"
+
+He only shook his head, and walked on in silence.
+
+"And London! London is the capital of England. Why," I exclaimed,
+beginning to see light, and wondering at myself for not having seen it
+sooner, "you are at present talking to me in the English language."
+
+"I fail to understand your meaning, and am even inclined to doubt that
+you have any," said he, a little ruffled. "I am addressing you in the
+language of human beings--that is all."
+
+"Well, it seems awfully puzzling," said I; "but I hope you don't think I
+have been indulging in--well, tarradiddles." Then, seeing that I was
+making matters no clearer, I added: "I mean that I have not been telling
+untruths."
+
+"I could not think that," he answered sternly. "It would indeed be a
+clouded mind which could mistake mere disordered fancies for willful
+offenses against the truth. I have no doubt that when you have recovered
+from the effects of your late accident these vain thoughts and
+imaginations will cease to trouble you."
+
+"And in the meantime, perhaps, I had better say as little as possible,"
+said I, with considerable temper. "At present we do not seem able to
+understand each other at all."
+
+"You are right, we do not," he said; and then added with a grave smile,
+"although I must allow that this last remark of yours is quite
+intelligible."
+
+"I'm glad of that," I returned. "It is distressing to talk and not to be
+understood; it is like men calling to each other in a high wind, hearing
+voices but not able to distinguish words."
+
+"Again I understand you," said he approvingly; while the beautiful girl
+bestowed on me the coveted reward of a smile, which had no pity or
+contempt in it.
+
+"I think," I continued, determined to follow up this new train of ideas
+on which I had so luckily stumbled, "that we are not so far apart in
+mind after all. About some things we stand quite away from each other,
+like the widely diverging branches of a tree; but, like the branches, we
+have a meeting-place, and this is, I fancy, in that part of our nature
+where our feelings are. My accident in the hills has not disarranged
+that part of me, I am sure, and I can give you an instance. A little
+while ago when I was standing behind the bushes watching you all, I saw
+this young lady----"
+
+Here a look of surprise and inquiry from the girl warned me that I was
+once more plunging into obscurity.
+
+"When I saw _you_," I continued, somewhat amused at her manner,
+"cast yourself on the earth to kiss the cold face of one you had loved
+in life, I felt the tears of sympathy come to my own eyes."
+
+"Oh, how strange!" she exclaimed, flashing on me a glance from her
+green, mysterious eyes; and then, to increase my wonder and delight, she
+deliberately placed her hand in mine.
+
+"And yet not strange," said the old man, by way of comment on her words.
+
+"It seemed strange to Yoletta that one so unlike us outwardly should be
+so like us in heart," remarked the young man at her side.
+
+There was something about this speech which I did not altogether like,
+though I could not detect anything like sarcasm in the tone of the
+speaker.
+
+"And yet," continued the lovely girl, "you never saw him living--never
+heard his sweet voice, which still seems to come back to me like a
+melody from the distance."
+
+"Was he your father?" I asked.
+
+The question seemed to surprise her very much. "_He_ is our
+father," she returned, with a glance at the old gentleman, which seemed
+strange, for he certainly looked aged enough to be her great-grandfather.
+
+He smiled and said: "You forget, my daughter, that I am as little known
+to this stranger to our country as all the great and illustrious
+personages he has mentioned are to us."
+
+At this point I began to lose interest in the conversation. It was
+enough for me to feel that I held that precious hand in mine, and
+presently I felt tempted to administer a gentle squeeze. She looked at
+me and smiled, then glanced over my whole person, the survey finishing
+at my boots, which seemed to have a disagreeable fascination for her.
+She shivered slightly, and withdrew her hand from mine, and in my heart
+I cursed those rusty, thick-soled monstrosities in which my feet were
+cased. However, we were all on a better footing now; and I resolved for
+the future to avoid all dangerous topics, historical and geographical,
+and confine myself to subjects relating to the emotional side of our
+natures.
+
+At the end our way to the house was over a green turf, among great trees
+as in a park; and as there was no road or path, the first sight of the
+building seen near, when we emerged from the trees, came as a surprise.
+There were no gardens, lawns, inclosures or hedges near it, nor
+cultivation of any kind. It was like a wilderness, and the house
+produced the effect of a noble ruin. It was a hilly stone country where
+masses of stone cropped out here and there among the woods and on the
+green slopes, and it appeared that the house had been raised on the
+natural foundation of one of these rocks standing a little above the
+river that flowed behind it. The stone was gray, tinged with red, and
+the whole rock, covering an acre or so of ground, had been worn or hewn
+down to form a vast platform which stood about a dozen feet above the
+surrounding green level. The sloping and buttressed sides of the
+platform were clothed with ivy, wild shrubs, and various flowering
+plants. Broad, shallow steps led up to the house, which was all of the
+same material--reddish-gray stone; and the main entrance was beneath a
+lofty portico, the sculptured entablature of which was supported by
+sixteen huge caryatides, standing on round massive pedestals. The
+building was not high as a castle or cathedral; it was a dwelling-place,
+and had but one floor, and resembled a ruin to my eyes because of the
+extreme antiquity of its appearance, the weather-worn condition and
+massiveness of the sculptured surfaces, and the masses of ancient ivy
+covering it in places. On the central portion of the building rested a
+great dome-shaped roof, resembling ground glass of a pale reddish tint,
+producing the effect of a cloud resting on the stony summit of a hill.
+
+I remained standing on the grass about thirty yards from the first steps
+after the others had gone in, all but the old gentleman, who still kept
+with me. By-and-by, withdrawing to a stone bench under an oak-tree, he
+motioned to me to take a seat by his side. He said nothing, but appeared
+to be quietly enjoying my undisguised surprise and admiration.
+
+"A noble mansion!" I remarked at length to my venerable host, feeling,
+Englishman-like, a sudden great access of respect towards the owner of a
+big house. Men in such a position can afford to be as eccentric as they
+like, even to the wearing of Carnivalesque garments, burying their
+friends or relations in a park, and shaking their heads over such names
+as Smith or Shakespeare. "A glorious place! It must have cost a pot of
+money, and taken a long time to build."
+
+"What you mean by _a pot of money_ I do not know," said he. "When
+you add _a long time to build_, I am also puzzled to understand
+you. For are not all houses, like the forest of trees, the human race,
+the world we live in, eternal?"
+
+"If they stand forever they are so in one sense, I suppose," I answered,
+beginning to fear that I had already unfortunately broken the rule I had
+so recently laid down for my own guidance. "But the trees of the forest,
+to which you compare a house, spring from seed, do they not? and so have
+a beginning. Their end also, like the end of man, is to die and return
+to the dust."
+
+"That is true," he returned; "it is, moreover, a truth which I do not
+now hear for the first time; but it has no connection with the subject
+we are discussing. Men pass away, and others take their places. Trees
+also decay, but the forest does not die, or suffer for the loss of
+individual trees; is it not the same with the house and the family
+inhabiting it, which is one with the house, and endures forever, albeit
+the members composing it must all in time return to the dust?"
+
+"Is there no decay, then, of the materials composing a house?"
+
+"Assuredly there is! Even the hardest stone is worn in time by the
+elements, or by the footsteps of many generations of men; but the stone
+that decays is removed, and the house does not suffer."
+
+"I have never looked at it quite in this light before," said I. "But
+surely we can build a house whenever we wish!"
+
+"Build a house whenever we wish!" he repeated, with that astonished look
+which threatened to become the permanent expression of his face--so long
+as he had me to talk with, at any rate.
+
+"Yes, or pull one down if we find it unsuitable--" But his look of
+horror here made me pause, and to finish the sentence I added: "Of
+course, you must admit that a house had a beginning?"
+
+"Yes; and so had the forest, the mountain, the human race, the world
+itself. But the origin of all these things is covered with the mists of
+time."
+
+"Does it never happen, then, that a house, however substantially
+built--"
+
+"However what! But never mind; you continue to speak in riddles. Pray,
+finish what you were saying."
+
+"Does it never happen that a house is overthrown by some natural
+force--by floods, or subsidence of the earth, or is destroyed by
+lightning or fire?"
+
+"No!" he answered, with such tremendous emphasis that he almost made me
+jump from my seat. "Are you alone so ignorant of these things that you
+speak of building and of pulling down a house?"
+
+"Well, I fancied I knew a lot of things once," I answered, with a sigh.
+"But perhaps I was mistaken--people often are. I should like to hear you
+say something more about all these things--I mean about the house and
+the family, and the rest of it."
+
+"Are you not, then, able to read--have you been taught absolutely
+nothing?"
+
+"Oh yes, certainly I can read," I answered, joyfully seizing at once on
+the suggestion, which seemed to open a simple, pleasant way of escape
+from the difficulty. "I am by no means a studious person; perhaps I am
+never so happy as when I have nothing to read. Nevertheless, I do
+occasionally look into books, and greatly appreciate their gentle,
+kindly ways. They never shut themselves up with a sound like a slap, or
+throw themselves at your head for a duffer, but seem silently grateful
+for being read, even by a stupid person, and teach you very patiently,
+like a pretty, meek-spirited young girl."
+
+"I am very pleased to hear it," said he. "You shall read and learn all
+these things for yourself, which is the best method. Or perhaps I ought
+rather to say, you shall by reading recall them to your mind, for it is
+impossible to believe that it has always been in its present pitiable
+condition. I can only attribute such a mental state, with its disordered
+fancies about cities, or immense hives of human beings, and other things
+equally frightful to contemplate, and its absolute vacancy concerning
+ordinary matters of knowledge, to the grave accident you met with in the
+hills. Doubtless in falling your head was struck and injured by a stone.
+Let us hope that you will soon recover possession of your memory and
+other faculties. And now let us repair to the eating-room, for it is
+best to refresh the body first, and the mind afterwards."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 3
+
+We ascended the steps, and passing through the portico went into the
+hall by what seemed to me a doorless way. It was not really so, as I
+discovered later; the doors, of which there were several, some of
+colored glass, others of some other material, were simply thrust back
+into receptacles within the wall itself, which was five or six feet
+thick. The hall was the noblest I had ever seen; it had a stone and
+bronze fireplace some twenty or thirty feet long on one side, and
+several tall arched doorways on the other. The spaces between the doors
+were covered with sculpture, its material being a blue-gray stone
+combined or inlaid with a yellow metal, the effect being indescribably
+rich. The floor was mosaic of many dark colors, but with no definite
+pattern, and the concave roof was deep red in color. Though beautiful,
+it was somewhat somber, as the light was not strong. At all events, that
+is how it struck me at first on coming in from the bright sunlight. Nor,
+it appeared, was I alone in experiencing such a feeling. As soon as we
+were inside, the old gentleman, removing his cap and passing his thin
+fingers through his white hair, looked around him, and addressing some
+of the others, who were bringing in small round tables and placing them
+about the hall, said: "No, no; let us sup this evening where we can look
+at the sky."
+
+The tables were immediately taken away.
+
+Now some of those who were in the hall or who came in with the tables
+had not attended the funeral, and these were all astonished on seeing
+me. They did not stare at me, but I, of course, saw the expression on
+their faces, and noticed that the others who had made my acquaintance at
+the grave-side whispered in their ears to explain my presence. This made
+me extremely uncomfortable, and it was a relief when they began to go
+out again.
+
+One of the men was seated near me; he was of those who had assisted in
+carrying the corpse, and he now turned to me and remarked: "You have
+been a long time in the open air, and probably feel the change as much
+as we do."
+
+I assented, and he rose and walked away to the far end of the hall,
+where a great door stood facing the one by which we had entered. From
+the spot where I was--a distance of forty or fifty feet, perhaps--this
+door appeared to be of polished slate of a very dark gray, its surface
+ornamented with very large horse-chestnut leaves of brass or copper, or
+both, for they varied in shade from bright yellow to deepest copper-red.
+It was a double door with agate handles, and, first pressing on one
+handle, then on the other, he thrust it back into the walls on either
+side, revealing a new thing of beauty to my eyes, for behind the
+vanished door was a window, the sight of which came suddenly before me
+like a celestial vision. Sunshine, wind, cloud and rain had evidently
+inspired the artist who designed it, but I did not at the time
+understand the meaning of the symbolic figures appearing in the picture.
+Below, with loosened dark golden-red hair and amber-colored garments
+fluttering in the wind, stood a graceful female figure on the summit of
+a gray rock; over the rock, and as high as her knees, slanted the thin
+branches of some mountain shrub, the strong wind even now stripping them
+of their remaining yellow and russet leaves, whirling them aloft and
+away. Round the woman's head was a garland of ivy leaves, and she was
+gazing aloft with expectant face, stretching up her arms, as if to
+implore or receive some precious gift from the sky. Above, against the
+slaty-gray cloud-wrack, four exquisite slender girl-forms appeared, with
+loose hair, silver-gray drapery and gauzy wings as of ephemerae, flying
+in pursuit of the cloud. Each carried a quantity of flowers, shaped like
+lilies, in her dress, held up with the left hand; one carried red
+lilies, another yellow, the third violet, and the last blue; and the
+gauzy wings and drapery of each was also touched in places with the same
+hue as the flowers she carried. Looking back in their flight they were
+all with the disengaged hand throwing down lilies to the standing
+figure.
+
+This lovely window gave a fresh charm to the whole apartment, while the
+sunlight falling through it served also to reveal other beauties which I
+had not observed. One that quickly drew and absorbed my attention was a
+piece of statuary on the floor at some distance from me, and going to it
+I stood for some time gazing on it in the greatest delight. It was a
+statue about one-third the size of life, of a young woman seated on a
+white bull with golden horns. She had a graceful figure and beautiful
+countenance; the face, arms and feet were alabaster, the flesh tinted,
+but with colors more delicate than in nature. On her arms were broad
+golden armlets, and the drapery, a long flowing robe, was blue,
+embroidered with yellow flowers. A stringed instrument rested on her
+knee, and she was represented playing and singing. The bull, with
+lowered horns, appeared walking; about his chest hung a garland of
+flowers mingled with ears of yellow corn, oak, ivy, and various other
+leaves, green and russet, and acorns and crimson berries. The garland
+and blue dress were made of malachite, _lapis lazuli_, and various
+precious stones.
+
+"Aha, my fair Phoenician, I know you well!" thought I exultingly,
+"though I never saw you before with a harp in your hand. But were you
+not gathering flowers, O lovely daughter of Agenor, when that celestial
+animal, that masquerading god, put himself so cunningly in your way to
+be admired and caressed, until you unsuspiciously placed yourself on his
+back? That explains the garland. I shall have a word to say about this
+pretty thing to my learned and very superior host."
+
+The statue stood on an octagonal pedestal of a highly polished
+slaty-gray stone, and on each of its eight faces was a picture in which
+one human figure appeared. Now, from gazing on the statue itself I fell
+to contemplating one of these pictures with a very keen interest, for
+the figure, I recognized, was a portrait of the beautiful girl Yoletta.
+The picture was a winter landscape. The earth was white, not with snow,
+but with hoar frost; the distant trees, clothed by the frozen moisture
+as if with a feathery foliage, looked misty against the whitey-blue
+wintry sky. In the foreground, on the pale frosted grass, stood the
+girl, in a dark maroon dress, with silver embroidery on the bosom, and a
+dark red cap on her head. Close to her drooped the slender terminal
+twigs of a tree, sparkling with rime and icicle, and on the twigs were
+several small snow-white birds, hopping and fluttering down towards her
+outstretched hand; while she gazed up at them with flushed cheeks, and
+lips parting with a bright, joyous smile.
+
+Presently, while I stood admiring this most lovely work, the young man I
+have mentioned as having raised Yoletta from the ground at the grave
+came to my side and remarked, smiling: "You have noticed the
+resemblance."
+
+"Yes, indeed," I returned; "she is painted to the life."
+
+"This is not Yoletta's portrait," he replied, "though it is very like
+her;" and then, when I looked at him incredulously, he pointed to some
+letters under the picture, saying: "Do you not see the name and date?"
+
+Finding that I could not read the words, I hazarded the remark that it
+was Yoletta's mother, perhaps.
+
+"This portrait was painted four centuries ago," he said, with surprise
+in his accent; and then he turned aside, thinking me, perhaps, a rather
+dull and ignorant person.
+
+I did not want him to go away with that impression, and remarked,
+pointing to the statue I have spoken of: "I fancy I know very well who
+that is--that is Europa."
+
+"Europa? That is a name I never heard; I doubt that any one in the house
+ever bore it." Then, with a half-puzzled smile, he added: "How could you
+possibly know unless you were told? No, that is Mistrelde. It was
+formerly the custom of the house for the Mother to ride on a white bull
+at the harvest festival. Mistrelde was the last to observe it."
+
+"Oh, I see," I returned lamely, though I didn't see at all. The
+indifferent way in which he spoke of _centuries_ in connection with
+this brilliant and apparently fresh-painted picture rather took me
+aback.
+
+Presently he condescended to say something more. Pointing to the marks
+or characters which I could not read, he said: "You have seen the name
+of Yoletta here, and that and the resemblance misled you. You must know
+that there has always been a Yoletta in this house. This was the
+daughter of Mistrelde, the Mother, who died young and left but eight
+children; and when this work was made their portraits were placed on the
+eight faces of the pedestal."
+
+"Thanks for telling me," I said, wondering if it was all true, or only a
+fantastic romance.
+
+He then motioned me to follow him, and we quitted that room where it had
+been decided that we were not to sup.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 4
+
+We came to a large portico-like place open on three sides to the air,
+the roof being supported by slender columns. We were now on the opposite
+side of the house and looked upon the river, which was not more than a
+couple of hundred yards from the terrace or platform on which it stood.
+The ground here sloped rapidly to the banks, and, like that in the
+front, was a wilderness with rock and patches of tall fern and thickets
+of thorn and bramble, with a few trees of great size. Nor was wild life
+wanting in this natural park; some deer were feeding near the bank,
+while on the water numbers of wild duck and other water-fowl were
+disporting themselves, splashing and flapping over the surface and
+uttering shrill cries.
+
+The people of the house were already assembled, standing and sitting by
+the small tables. There was a lively hum of conversation, which ceased
+on my entrance; then those who were sitting stood up and the whole
+company fixed its eyes on me, which was rather disconcerting.
+
+The old gentleman, standing in the midst of the people, now bent on me a
+long, scrutinizing gaze; he appeared to be waiting for me to speak, and,
+finding that I remained silent, he finally addressed me with solemnity.
+"Smith," he said--and I did not like it--"the meeting with you today was
+to me and to all of us a very strange experience: I little thought that
+an even stranger one awaited me, that before you break bread in this
+house in which you have found shelter, I should have to remind you that
+you are now in a house."
+
+"Yes, I know I am," I said, and then added: "I'm sure, sir, I appreciate
+your kindness in bringing me here."
+
+He had perhaps expected something more or something entirely different
+from me, as he continued standing with his eyes fixed on me. Then with a
+sigh, and looking round him, he said in a dissatisfied tone: "My
+children, let us begin, and for the present put out of our minds this
+matter which has been troubling us."
+
+He then motioned me to a seat at his own table, where I was pleased to
+have a place since the lovely Yoletta was also there.
+
+I am not particular about what I eat, as with me good digestion waits on
+appetite, and so long as I get a bellyful--to use a good old English
+word--I am satisfied. On this particular occasion, with or without a
+pretty girl at the table, I could have consumed a haggis--that greatest
+abomination ever invented by flesh-eating barbarians--I was so
+desperately hungry. It was therefore a disappointment when nothing more
+substantial than a plate of whitey-green, crisp-looking stuff resembling
+endive, was placed before me by one of the picturesque handmaidens. It
+was cold and somewhat bitter to the taste, but hunger compelled me to
+eat it even to the last green leaf; then, when I began to wonder if it
+would be right to ask for more, to my great relief other more succulent
+dishes followed, composed of various vegetables. We also had some
+pleasant drinks, made, I suppose, from the juices of fruits, but the
+delicious alcoholic sting was not in them. We had fruits, too, of
+unfamiliar flavors, and a confection of crushed nuts and honey.
+
+We sat at table--or tables--a long time, and the meal was enlivened with
+conversation; for all now appeared in a cheerful frame of mind,
+notwithstanding the melancholy event which had occupied them during the
+day. It was, in fact, a kind of supper, and the one great meal of the
+day: the only other meals being a breakfast, and at noon a crust of
+brown bread, a handful of dried fruit, and drink of milk.
+
+At the conclusion of the repast, during which I had been too much
+occupied to take notice of everything that passed, I observed that a
+number of small birds had flown in, and were briskly hopping over the
+floor and tables, also perching quite fearlessly on the heads or
+shoulders of the company, and that they were being fed with the
+fragments. I took them to be sparrows and things of that kind, but they
+did not look altogether familiar to me. One little fellow, most lively
+in his motions, was remarkably like my old friend the robin, only the
+bosom was more vivid, running almost into orange, and the wings and tail
+were tipped with the same hue, giving it quite a distinguished
+appearance. Another small olive-green bird, which I at first took for a
+green linnet, was even prettier, the throat and bosom being of a most
+delicate buff, crossed with a belt of velvet black. The bird that really
+seemed most like a common sparrow was chestnut, with a white throat and
+mouse-colored wings and tail. These pretty little pensioners
+systematically avoided my neighborhood, although I tempted them with
+crumbs and fruit; only one flew onto my table, but had no sooner done so
+than it darted away again, and out of the room, as if greatly alarmed. I
+caught the pretty girl's eye just then, and having finished eating, and
+being anxious to join the conversation, for I hate to sit silent when
+others are talking. I remarked that it was strange the little birds so
+persistently avoided me.
+
+"Oh no, not at all strange," she replied, with surprising readiness,
+showing that she too had noticed it. "They are frightened at your
+appearance."
+
+"I must indeed appear strange to them," said I, with some bitterness,
+and recalling the adventures of the morning. "It is to me a new and very
+painful experience to walk about the world frightening men, cattle, and
+birds; yet I suppose it is entirely due to the clothes I am wearing--and
+the boots. I wish some kind person would suggest a remedy for this state
+of things; for just now my greatest desire is to be dressed in
+accordance with the fashion."
+
+"Allow me to interrupt you for one moment, Smith," said the old
+gentleman, who had been listening attentively to my words. "We
+understood what you said so well on this occasion that it seems a pity
+you should suddenly again render yourself unintelligible. Can you
+explain to us what you mean by dressing in accordance with the fashion?"
+
+"My meaning is, that I simply desire to dress like one of yourselves, to
+see the last of these _uncouth_ garments." I could not help putting
+a little vicious emphasis on that hateful word.
+
+He inclined his head and said, "Yes?"
+
+Thus encouraged, I dashed boldly into the middle of matter; for now,
+having dined, albeit without wine, I was inflamed with an intense
+craving to see myself arrayed in their rich, mysterious dress. "This
+being so," I continued, "may I ask you if it is in your power to provide
+me with the necessary garments, so that I may cease to be an object of
+aversion and offense to every living thing and person, myself included?"
+
+A long and uncomfortable silence ensued, which was perhaps not strange,
+considering the nature of the request. That I had blundered once more
+seemed likely enough, from the general suspense and the somewhat alarmed
+expression of the old gentleman's countenance; nevertheless, my motives
+had been good: I had expressed my wish in that way for the sake of peace
+and quietness, and fearing that if I had asked to be directed to the
+nearest clothing establishment, a new fit of amazement would have been
+the result.
+
+Finding the silence intolerable, I at length ventured to remark that I
+feared he had not understood me to the end.
+
+"Perhaps not," he answered gravely. "Or, rather let me say, I hope not."
+
+"May I explain my meaning?" said I, greatly distressed.
+
+"Assuredly you may," he replied with dignity. "Only before you speak,
+let me put this plain question to you: Do you ask us to provide you with
+garments--that is to say, to bestow them as a gift on you?"
+
+"Certainly not!" I exclaimed, turning crimson with shame to think that
+they were all taking me for a beggar. "My wish is to obtain them somehow
+from somebody, since I cannot make them for myself, and to give in
+return their full value."
+
+I had no sooner spoken than I greatly feared that I had made matters
+worse; for here was I, a guest in the house, actually offering to
+purchase clothing--ready-made or to to order--from my host, who, for all
+I knew, might be one of the aristocracy of the country. My fears,
+however, proved quite groundless.
+
+"I am glad to hear your explanation," he answered, "for it has
+completely removed the unpleasant impression caused by your former
+words. What can you do in return for the garments you are anxious to
+possess? And here, let me remark, I approve highly of your wish to
+escape, with the least possible delay, from your present covering. Do
+you wish to confine yourself to the finishing of some work in a
+particular line--as wood-carving, or stone, metal, clay or glass work;
+or in making or using colors? or have you only that general knowledge of
+the various arts which would enable you to assist the more skilled in
+preparing materials?"
+
+"No, I am not an artist," I replied, surprised at his question. "All I
+can do is to buy the clothes--to pay for them in money."
+
+"What do you mean by that? What is money?"
+
+"Surely----" I began, but fortunately checked myself in time, for I had
+meant to suggest that he was pulling my leg. But it was really hard to
+believe that a person of his years did not know what money was. Besides,
+I could not answer the question, having always abhorred the study of
+political economy, which tells you all about it; so that I had never
+learned to define money, but only how to spend it. Presently I thought
+the best way out of the muddle was to show him some, and I accordingly
+pulled out my big leather book-purse from my breast pocket. It had an
+ancient, musty smell, like everything else about me, but seemed pretty
+heavy and well-filled, and I proceeded to open it and turn the contents
+on the table. Eleven bright sovereigns and three half-crowns or florins,
+I forget which, rolled out; then, unfolding the papers, I discovered
+three five-pound Bank of England notes.
+
+"Surely this is very little for me to have about me!" said I, feeling
+greatly disappointed. "I fancy I must have been making ducks and drakes
+of a lot of cash before--before--well, before I was--I don't know what,
+or when, or where."
+
+Little notice was taken of this somewhat incoherent speech, for all were
+now gathering round the table, examining the gold and notes with eager
+curiosity. At length the old gentleman, pointing to the gold pieces,
+said: "What are these?"
+
+"Sovereigns," I answered, not a little amused. "Have you never seen any
+like them before?"
+
+"Never. Let me examine them again. Yes, these eleven are of gold. They
+are all marked alike, on one side with a roughly-executed figure of a
+woman's head, with the hair gathered on its summit in a kind of ball.
+There are also other things on them which I do not understand."
+
+"Can you not read the letters?" I asked.
+
+"No. The letters--if these marks are letters--are incomprehensible to
+me. But what have these small pieces of metal to do with the question of
+your garments? You puzzle me."
+
+"Why, everything. These pieces of metal, as you call them, are money,
+and represent, of course, so much buying power. I don't know yet what
+your currency is, and whether you have the dollar or the rupee"--here I
+paused, seeing that he did not follow me. "My idea is this," I resumed,
+and coming down to very plain speaking: "I can give one of these
+five-pound notes, or its equivalent in gold, if you prefer that--five of
+these sovereigns, I mean--for a suit of clothes such as you all wear."
+
+So great was my desire to possess the clothes that I was about to double
+the offer, which struck me as poor, and add that I would give ten
+sovereigns; but when I had spoken he dropped the piece he held in his
+hand upon the table, and stared fixedly at me, assisted by all the
+others. Presently, in the profound silence which ensued, a low, silvery
+gurgling became audible, as of some merry mountain burn--a sweet,
+warbling sound, swelling louder by degrees until it ended in a long
+ringing peal of laughter.
+
+This was from the girl Yoletta. I stared at her, surprised at her
+unseasonable levity; but the only effect of my doing so was a general
+explosion, men and women joining in such a tempest of merriment that one
+might have imagined they had just heard the most wonderful joke ever
+invented since man acquired the sense of the ludicrous.
+
+The old gentleman was the first to recover a decent gravity, although it
+was plain to see that he struggled severely at intervals to prevent a
+relapse.
+
+"Smith," said he, "of all the extraordinary delusions you appear to be
+suffering from, this, that you can have garments to wear in return for a
+small piece of paper, or for a few bits of this metal, is the most
+astounding! You cannot exchange these trifles for clothes, because
+clothes are the fruit of much labor of many hands."
+
+"And yet, sir, you said you understood me when I proposed to pay for the
+things I require," said I, in an aggrieved tone. "You seemed even to
+approve of the offer I made. How, then, am I to pay for them if all I
+possess is not considered of any value?"
+
+"_All_ you possess!" he replied. "Surely I did not say that! Surely
+you possess the strength and skill common to all men, and can acquire
+anything you wish by the labor of your hands."
+
+I began once more to see light, although my skill, I knew, would not
+count for much. "Ah yes," I answered: "to go back to that subject, I do
+not know anything about wood-carving or using colors, but I might be
+able to do something--some work of a simpler kind."
+
+"There are trees to be felled, land to be plowed, and many other things
+to be done. If you will do these things some one else will be released
+to perform works of skill; and as these are the most agreeable to the
+worker, it would please us more to have you labor in the fields than in
+the workhouse."
+
+"I am strong," I answered, "and will gladly undertake labor of the kind
+you speak of. There is, however, one difficulty. My desire is to change
+these clothes for others which will be more pleasing to the eye, at
+once; but the work I shall have to do in return will not be finished in
+a day. Perhaps not in--well, several days."
+
+"No, of course not," said he. "A year's labor will be necessary to pay
+for the garments you require."
+
+This staggered me; for if the clothes were given to me at the beginning,
+then before the end of the year they would be worn to rags, and I should
+make myself a slave for life. I was sorely perplexed in mind, and pulled
+about this way and that by the fear of incurring a debt, and the desire
+to see myself (and to be seen by Yoletta) in those strangely fascinating
+garments. That I had a decent figure, and was not a bad-looking young
+fellow, I was pretty sure; and the hope that I should be able to create
+an impression (favorable, I mean) on the heart of that supremely
+beautiful girl was very strong in me. At all events, by closing with the
+offer I should have a year of happiness in her society, and a year of
+healthy work in the fields could not hurt me, or interfere much with my
+prospects. Besides, I was not quite sure that my prospects were really
+worth thinking about just now. Certainly, I had always lived
+comfortably, spending money, eating and drinking of the best, and
+dressing well--that is, according to the London standard. And there was
+my dear old bachelor Uncle Jack--John Smith, Member of Parliament for
+Wormwood Scrubbs. That is to say, ex-Member; for, being a Liberal when
+the great change came at the last general election, he was ignominiously
+ousted from his seat, the Scrubbs proving at the finish a bitter place
+to him. He was put out in more ways than one, and tried to comfort
+himself by saying that there would soon be another dissolution--thinking
+of his own, possibly, being an old man. I remembered that I had rather
+looked forward to such a contingency, thinking how pleasant it would be
+to have all that money, and cruise about the world in my own yacht,
+enjoying myself as I knew how. And really I had some reason to hope. I
+remember he used to wind up the talk of an evening when I dined with him
+(and got a check) by saying: "My boy, you have talents, if you'd only
+use 'em." Where were those talents now? Certainly they had not made me
+shine much during the last few hours.
+
+Now, all this seemed unsubstantial, and I remembered these things dimly,
+like a dream or a story told to me in childhood; and sometimes, when
+recalling the past, I seemed to be thinking about ancient
+history--Sesostris, and the Babylonians and Assyrians, and that sort of
+thing. And, besides, it would be very hard to get back from a place
+where even the name of London was unknown. And perhaps, if I ever should
+succeed in getting back, it would only be to encounter a second Roger
+Tichborne case, or to be confronted with the statute of limitations.
+Anyhow, a year could not make much difference, and I should also keep my
+money, which seemed an advantage, though it wasn't much. I looked up:
+they were all once more studying the coins and notes, and exchanging
+remarks about them.
+
+"If I bind myself to work one year," said I, "shall I have to wait until
+the end of that time before I get the clothes?"
+
+The reply to this question, I thought, would settle the matter one way
+or the other.
+
+"No," said he. "It is your wish, and also ours, that you should be
+differently clothed at once, and the garments you require would be made
+for you immediately."
+
+"Then," said I, taking the desperate plunge, "I should like to have them
+as soon as possible, and I am ready to commence work at once."
+
+"You shall commence to-morrow morning," he answered, smiling at my
+impetuosity. "The daughters of the house, whose province it is to make
+these things, shall also suspend other work until your garments are
+finished. And now, my son, from this evening you are one of the house
+and one of us, and the things which we possess you also possess in
+common with us."
+
+I rose and thanked him. He too rose, and, after looking round on us with
+a fatherly smile, went away to the interior of the house.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 5
+
+When he was gone, and Yoletta had followed, leaving some of the others
+still studying those wretched sovereigns, I sat down again and rested my
+chin on my hand; for I was now thinking--deeply: thinking on the terms
+of the agreement. "I daresay I have succeeded in making a precious ass
+of myself," was the mental reflection that occurred to me--one I had not
+infrequently made, and, what is more, been justified in making on former
+occasions. Then, remembering that I had come to supper with an
+extravagant appetite, it struck me that my host, quietly observant, had,
+when proposing terms, taken into account the quantity of food necessary
+for my sustenance. I regretted too late that I had not exercised more
+restraint; but the hungry man does not and cannot consider consequences,
+else a certain hairy gentleman who figures in ancient history had never
+lent himself to that nefarious compact, which gave so great an advantage
+to a younger but sleek and well-nourished brother. In spite of all this,
+I felt a secret satisfaction in the thought of the clothes, and it was
+also good to know that the nature of the work I had undertaken would not
+lower my status in the house.
+
+Occupied with these reflections, I had failed to observe that the
+company had gradually been drifting away until but one person was left
+with me--the young man who had talked with me before. On his invitation
+I now rose, put by my money, and followed him. Returning by the hall we
+went through a passage and entered a room of vast extent, which in its
+form and great length and high arched roof was like the nave of a
+cathedral. And yet how unlike in that something ethereal in its aspect,
+as of a nave in a cloud cathedral, its far-stretching shining floors and
+walls and columns, pure white and pearl-gray, faintly touched with
+colors of exquisite delicacy. And over it all was the roof of white or
+pale gray glass tinged with golden-red--the roof which I had seen from
+the outside when it seemed to me like a cloud resting on the stony
+summit of a hill.
+
+On coming in I had the impression of an empty, silent place; yet the
+inmates of the house were all there; they were sitting and reclining on
+low couches, some lying at their ease on straw mats on the floor; some
+were reading, others were occupied with some work in their hands, and
+some were conversing, the sound coming to me like a faint murmur from a
+distance.
+
+At one side, somewhere about the center of the room, there was a broad
+raised place, or dais, with a couch on it, on which the father was
+reclining at his ease. Beside the couch stood a lectern on which a large
+volume rested, and before him there was a brass box or cabinet, and
+behind the couch seven polished brass globes were ranged, suspended on
+axles resting on bronze frames. These globes varied in size, the largest
+being not less than about twelve feet in circumference.
+
+I noticed that there were books on a low stand near me. They were all
+folios, very much alike in form and thickness; and seeing presently that
+the others were all following their own inclinations, and considering
+that I had been left to my own resources and that it is a good plan when
+at Rome to do as the Romans do, I by-and-by ventured to help myself to a
+volume, which I carried to one of the reading-stands.
+
+Books are grand things--sometimes, thought I, prepared to follow the
+advice I had received, and find out by reading all about the customs of
+this people, especially their ideas concerning _The House_, which
+appeared to be an object of almost religious regard with them. This
+would make me quite independent, and teach me how to avoid blundering in
+the future, or giving expression to any more "extraordinary delusions."
+On opening the volume I was greatly surprised to find that it was richly
+illuminated on every leaf, the middle only of each page being occupied
+with a rather narrow strip of writing; but the minute letters,
+resembling Hebrew characters, were incomprehensible to me. I bore the
+disappointment very cheerfully, I must say, for I am not over-fond of
+study; and, besides, I could not have paid proper attention to the text,
+surrounded with all that distracting beauty of graceful design and
+brilliant coloring.
+
+After a while Yoletta came slowly across the room, her fingers engaged
+with some kind of wool-work as she walked, and my heart beat fast when
+she paused by my side.
+
+"You are not reading," she said, looking curiously at me. "I have been
+watching you for some time."
+
+"Have you indeed?" said I, not knowing whether to feel flattered or not.
+"No, unfortunately, I can't read this book, as I do not understand the
+letters. But what a wonderfully beautiful book it is! I was just
+thinking what some of the great London book-buyers--Quaritch, for
+instance--would be tempted to give for it. Oh, I am forgetting--you have
+never heard his name, of course; but--but what a beautiful book it is!"
+
+She said nothing in reply, and only looked a little
+surprised--disgusted, I feared--at my ignorance, then walked away. I had
+hoped that she was going to talk to me, and with keen disappointment
+watched her moving across the floor. All the glory seemed now to have
+gone out of the leaves of the volume, and I continued turning them over
+listlessly, glancing at intervals at the beautiful girl, who was also
+like one of the pages before me, wonderful to look at and hard to
+understand. In a distant part of the room I saw her place some cushions
+on the floor, and settle herself on them to do her work.
+
+The sun had set by this time, and the interior was growing darker by
+degrees; the fading light, however, seemed to make no difference to
+those who worked or read. They appeared to be gifted with an owlish
+vision, able to see with very little light. The father alone did
+nothing, but still rested on his couch, perhaps indulging in a
+postprandial nap. At length he roused himself and looked around him.
+
+"There is no melody in our hearts this evening, my children," he said.
+"When another day has passed over us it will perhaps be different.
+To-night the voice so recently stilled in death forever would be too
+painfully missed by all of us."
+
+Some one then rose and brought a tall wax taper and placed it near him.
+The flame threw a little brightness on the volume, which he now
+proceeded to open; and here and there, further away, it flashed and
+trembled in points of rainbow-colored light on a tall column; but the
+greater part of the room still remained in twilight obscurity.
+
+He began to read aloud, and, although he did not seem to raise his voice
+above its usual pitch, the words he uttered fell on my ears with a
+distinctness and purity of sound which made them seem like a melody
+"sweetly played in tune." The words he read related to life and death,
+and such solemn matters; but to my mind his theology seemed somewhat
+fantastical, although it is right to confess that I am no judge of such
+matters. There was also a great deal about the _house_, which did
+not enlighten me much, being too rhapsodical, and when he spoke about
+our conduct and aims in life, and things of that kind, I understood him
+little better. Here is a part of his discourse:--
+
+"It is natural to grieve for those that die, because light and knowledge
+and love and joy are no longer theirs; but they grieve not any more,
+being now asleep on the lap of the Universal Mother, the bride of the
+Father, who is with us, sharing our sorrow, which was his first; but it
+dims not his everlasting brightness; and his desire and our glory is
+that we should always and in all things resemble him.
+
+"The end of every day is darkness, but the Father of life through our
+reason has taught us to mitigate the exceeding bitterness of our end;
+otherwise, we that are above all other creatures in the earth should
+have been at the last more miserable than they. For in the irrational
+world, between the different kinds, there reigns perpetual strife and
+bloodshed, the strong devouring the weak and the incapable; and when
+failure of life clouds the brightness of that lower soul, which is
+theirs, the end is not long delayed. Thus the life that has lasted many
+days goes out with a brief pang, and in its going gives new vigor to the
+strong that have yet many days to live. Thus also does the ever-living
+earth from the dust of dead generations of leaves re-make a fresh
+foliage, and for herself a new garment.
+
+"We only, of all things having life, being like the Father, slay not nor
+are slain, and are without enemies in the earth; for even the lower
+kinds, which have not reason, know without reason that we are highest on
+the earth, and see in us, alone of all his works, the majesty of the
+Father, and lose all their rage in our presence. Therefore, when the
+night is near, when life is a burden and we remember our mortality, we
+hasten the end, that those we love may cease to sorrow at the sight of
+our decline; and we know that this is his will who called us into being,
+and gave us life and joy on the earth for a season, but not forever.
+
+"It is better to lay down the life that is ours, to leave all
+things--the love of our kindred; the beauty of the world and of the
+house; the labor in which we take delight, to go forth and be no more;
+but the bitterness endures not, and is scarcely tasted when in our last
+moments we remember that our labor has borne fruit; that the letters we
+have written perish not with us, but remain as a testimony and a joy to
+succeeding generations, and live in the house forever.
+
+"For the house is the image of the world, and we that live and labor in
+it are the image of our Father who made the world; and, like him, we
+labor to make for ourselves a worthy habitation, which shall not shame
+our teacher. This is his desire; for in all his works, and that
+knowledge which is like pure water to one that thirsts, and satisfies
+and leaves no taste of bitterness on the palate, we learn the will of
+him that called us into life. All the knowledge we seek, the invention
+and skill we possess, and the labor of our hands, has this purpose only:
+for all knowledge and invention and labor having any other purpose
+whatsoever is empty and vain in comparison, and unworthy of those that
+are made in the image of the Father of life. For just as the bodily
+senses may become perverted, and the taste lose its discrimination, so
+that the hungry man will devour acrid fruits and poisonous herbs for
+aliment, so is the mind capable of seeking out new paths, and a
+knowledge which leads only to misery and destruction.
+
+"Thus we know that in the past men sought after knowledge of various
+kinds, asking not whether it was for good or for evil: but every offense
+of the mind and the body has its appropriate reward; and while their
+knowledge grew apace, that better knowledge and discrimination which the
+Father gives to every living soul, both in man and in beast, was taken
+from them. Thus by increasing their riches they were made poorer; and,
+like one who, forgetting the limits that are set to his faculties, gazes
+steadfastly on the sun, by seeing much they become afflicted with
+blindness. But they know not their poverty and blindness, and were not
+satisfied; but were like shipwrecked men on a lonely and barren rock in
+the midst of the sea, who are consumed with thirst, and drink of no
+sweet spring, but of the bitter wave, and thirst, and drink again, until
+madness possesses their brains, and death releases them from their
+misery. Thus did they thirst, and drink again, and were crazed; being
+inflamed with the desire to learn the secrets of nature, hesitating not
+to dip their hands in blood, seeking in the living tissues of animals
+for the hidden springs of life. For in their madness they hoped by
+knowledge to gain absolute dominion over nature, thereby taking from the
+Father of the world his prerogative.
+
+"But their vain ambition lasted not, and the end of it was death. The
+madness of their minds preyed on their bodies, and worms were bred in
+their corrupted flesh: and these, after feeding on their tissues,
+changed their forms; and becoming winged, flew out in the breath of
+their nostrils, like clouds of winged ants that issue in the springtime
+from their breeding-places; and, flying from body to body, filled the
+race of men in all places with corruption and decay; and the Mother of
+men was thus avenged of her children for their pride and folly, for they
+perished miserably, devoured of worms.
+
+"Of the human race only a small remnant survived, these being men of an
+humble mind, who had lived apart and unknown to their fellows; and after
+long centuries they went forth into the wilderness of earth and
+repeopled it; but nowhere did they find any trace or record of those
+that had passed away; for earth had covered all their ruined works with
+her dark mold and green forests, even as a man hides unsightly scars on
+his body with a new and beautiful garment. Nor is it known to us when
+this destruction fell upon the race of men; we only know that the
+history thereof was graven an hundred centuries ago on the granite
+pillars of the House of Evor, on the plains between the sea and the
+snow-covered mountains of Elf. Thither in past ages some of our pilgrims
+journeyed, and have brought a record of these things; nor in our house
+only are they known, but in many houses throughout the world have they
+been written for the instruction of all men and a warning for all time.
+
+"But to mankind there shall come no second darkness of error, nor
+seeking after vain knowledge; and in the Father's House there shall be
+no second desolation, but the sounds of joy and melody, which were
+silent, shall be heard everlastingly; since we had now continued long in
+this even mind, seeking only to inform ourselves of his will; until as
+in a clear crystal without flaw shining with colored light, or as a
+glassy lake reflecting within itself the heavens and every cloud and
+star, so is he reflected in our minds; and in the house we are his
+viceregents, and in the world his co-workers; and for the glory which he
+has in his work we have a like glory in ours.
+
+"He is our teacher. Morning and evening throughout the various world, in
+the procession of the seasons, and in the blue heavens powdered with
+stars; in mountain and plain and many-toned forest; in the sounding
+walls of the ocean, and in the billowy seas through which we pass in
+peril from land to land, we read his thoughts and listen to his voice.
+Here do we learn with what far-seeing intelligence he has laid the
+foundations of his everlasting mansion, how skillfully he has builded
+its walls, and with what prodigal richness he has decorated all his
+works. For the sunlight and moonlight and the blueness of heaven are
+his; the sea with its tides; the blackness and the lightnings of the
+tempest, and snow, and changeful winds, and green and yellow leaf; his
+are also the silver rain and the rainbow, the shadows and the
+many-colored mists, which he flings like a mantle over all the world.
+Herein do we learn that he loves a stable building, and that the
+foundations and walls shall endure for ever: yet loves not sameness;
+thus, from day to day and from season to season do all things change
+their aspect, and the walls and floor and roof of his dwelling are
+covered with a new glory. But to us it is not given to rise to this
+supreme majesty in our works; therefore do we, like him yet unable to
+reach so great a height, borrow nothing one from the other, but in each
+house learn separately from him alone who has infinite riches; so that
+every habitation, changeless and eternal in itself, shall yet differ
+from all others, having its own special beauty and splendor: for we
+inhabit one house only, but the Father of men inhabits all.
+
+"These things are written for the refreshment and delight of those who
+may no longer journey into distant lands; and they are in the library of
+the house in the seven thousand volumes of the Houses of the World which
+our pilgrims have visited in past ages. For once in a lifetime is it
+ordained that a man shall leave his own place and travel for the space
+of ten years, visiting the most famous houses in every land he enters,
+and also seeking out those of which no report has reached us.
+
+"When the time for this chief adventure comes, and we go forth for a
+long period, there is compensation for every weariness, with absence of
+kindred and the sweet shelter of our own home: for now do we learn the
+infinite riches of the Father; for just as the day changes every hour,
+from the morning to the evening twilight, so does the aspect of the
+world alter as we progress from day to day; and in all places our
+fellow-men, learning as we do from him only, and seeing that which is
+nearest, give a special color of nature to their lives and their houses;
+and every house, with the family which inhabits it, in their
+conversation and the arts in which they excel, is like a round lake set
+about with hills, wherein may be seen that visible world. And in all the
+earth there is no land without inhabitants, whether on wide continents
+or islands of the sea; and in all nature there is no grandeur or beauty
+or grace which men have not copied; knowing that this is pleasing to the
+Father: for we, that are made like him, delight not to work without
+witnesses; and we are his witnesses in the earth, taking pleasure in his
+works, even as he also does in ours.
+
+"Thus, at the beginning of our journey to the far south, where we go to
+look first on those bright lands, which have hotter suns and a greater
+variety than ours, we come to the wilderness of Coradine, which seems
+barren and desolate to our sight, accustomed to the deep verdure of
+woods and valleys, and the blue mists of an abundant moisture. There a
+stony soil brings forth only thorns, and thistles, and sere tufts of
+grass; and blustering winds rush over the unsheltered reaches, where the
+rough-haired goats huddle for warmth; and there is no melody save the
+many-toned voices of the wind and the plover's wild cry. There dwell the
+children of Coradine, on the threshold of the wind-vexed wilderness,
+where the stupendous columns of green glass uphold the roof of the House
+of Coradine; the ocean's voice is in their rooms, and the inland-blowing
+wind brings to them the salt spray and yellow sand swept at low tide
+from the desolate floors of the sea, and the white-winged bird flying
+from the black tempest screams aloud in their shadowy halls. There, from
+the high terraces, when the moon is at its full, we see the children of
+Coradine gathered together, arrayed like no others, in shining garments
+of gossamer threads, when, like thistle-down chased by eddying winds,
+now whirling in a cloud, now scattering far apart, they dance their
+moonlight dances on the wide alabaster floors; and coming and going they
+pass away, and seem to melt into the moonlight, yet ever to return again
+with changeful melody and new measures. And, seeing this, all those
+things in which we ourselves excel seem poor in comparison, becoming
+pale in our memories. For the winds and waves, and the whiteness and
+grace, has been ever with them; and the winged seed of the thistle, and
+the flight of the gull, and the storm-vexed sea, flowering in foam, and
+the light of the moon on sea and barren land, have taught them this art,
+and a swiftness and grace which they alone possess.
+
+"Yet does this moonlight dance, which is the chief glory of the House of
+Coradine, grow pale in the mind, and is speedily forgotten, when another
+is seen; and, going on our way from house to house, we learn how
+everywhere the various riches of the world have been taken into his soul
+by man, and made part of his life. Nor are we inferior to others, having
+also an art and chief excellence which is ours only, and the fame of
+which has long gone forth into the world; so that from many distant
+lands pilgrims gather yearly to our fields to listen to our harvest
+melody, when the sun-ripened fruits have been garnered, and our lips and
+hands make undying music, to gladden the hearts of those that hear it
+all their lives long. For then do we rejoice beyond others, rising like
+bright-winged insects from our lowly state to a higher life of glory and
+joy, which is ours for the space of three whole days. Then the august
+Mother, in a brazen chariot, is drawn from field to field by milk-white
+bulls with golden horns; then her children are gathered about her in
+shining yellow garments, with armlets of gold upon their arms; and with
+voice and instruments of forms unknown to the stranger, they make glad
+the listening fields with the great harvest melody.
+
+"In ancient days the children of our house conceived it in their hearts,
+hearing it in all nature's voices; and it was with them day and night,
+and they whispered it to one another when it was no louder than the
+whisper of the wind in the forest leaves; and as the Builder of the
+world brings from an hundred far places the mist, and the dew, and the
+sunshine, and the light west wind, to give to the morning hour its
+freshness and glory; and as we, his humbler followers, seek far off in
+caverns of the hills and in the dark bowels of the earth for minerals
+and dyes that outshine the flowers and the sun, to beautify the walls of
+our house, so everywhere by night and day for long centuries did we
+listen to all sounds, and made their mystery and melody ours, until this
+great song was perfected in our hearts, and the fame of it in all lands
+has caused our house to be called the House of the Harvest Melody; and
+when the yearly pilgrims behold our procession in the fields, and listen
+to our song, all the glory of the world seems to pass before them,
+overcoming their hearts, until, bursting into tears and loud cries, they
+cast themselves upon the earth and worship the Father of the whole
+world.
+
+"This shall be the chief glory of our house for ever; when a thousand
+years have gone by, and we that are now living, like those that have
+been, are mingled with the nature we come from, and speak to our
+children only in the wind's voice, and the cry of the passage-bird,
+pilgrims shall still come to these sun-bright fields, to rejoice, and
+worship the Father of the world, and bless the august Mother of the
+house, from whose sacred womb ever comes to it life and love and joy,
+and the harvest melody that shall endure for ever."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 6
+
+The reading went on, not of course "for ever," like that harvest melody
+he spoke of, but for a considerable time. The words, I concluded, were
+for the initiated, and not for me, and after a while I gave up trying to
+make out what it was all about. Those last expressions I have quoted
+about the "august Mother of the house" were unintelligible, and appeared
+to me meaningless. I had already come to the conclusion that however
+many of the ladies of the establishment might have experienced the
+pleasures and pains of maternity, there was really no mother of the
+house in the sense that there was a father of the house: that is to say,
+one possessing authority over the others and calling them all her
+children indiscriminately. Yet this mysterious non-existent mother of
+the house was continually being spoken of, as I found now and afterwards
+when I listened to the talk around me. After thinking the matter over, I
+came to the conclusion that "mother of the house" was merely a
+convenient fiction, and simply stood for the general sense of the
+women-folk, or something of the sort. It was perhaps stupid of me, but
+the story of Mistrelde, who died young, leaving only eight children, I
+had regarded as a mere legend or fable of antiquity.
+
+To return to the reading. Just as I had been absorbed before in that
+beautiful book without being able to read it, so now I listened to that
+melodious and majestic voice, experiencing a singular pleasure without
+properly understanding the sense. I remembered now with a painful
+feeling of inferiority that my _thick_ speech had been remarked On
+earlier in the day; and I could not but think that, compared with the
+speech of this people, it was thick. In their rare physical beauty, the
+color of their eyes and hair, and in their fascinating dress, they had
+struck me as being utterly unlike any people ever seen by me. But it was
+perhaps in their clear, sweet, penetrative voice, which sometimes
+reminded me of a tender-toned wind instrument, that they most differed
+from others.
+
+The reading, I have said, had struck me as almost of the nature of a
+religious service; nevertheless, everything went on as before--reading,
+working, and occasional conversation; but the subdued talking and moving
+about did not interfere with one's pleasure in the old man's musical
+speech any more than the soft murmur and flying about of honey bees
+would prevent one from enjoying the singing of a skylark. Emboldened by
+what I saw the others doing, I left my seat and made my way across the
+floor to Yoletta's side, stealing through the gloom with great caution
+to avoid making a clatter with those abominable boots.
+
+"May I sit down near you?" said I with some hesitation; but she
+encouraged me with a smile and placed a cushion for me.
+
+I settled myself down in the most graceful position I could assume,
+which was not at all graceful, doubling my objectionable legs out of her
+sight; and then began my trouble, for I was greatly perplexed to know
+what to say to her. I thought of lawn-tennis and archery. Ellen Terry's
+acting, the Royal Academy Exhibition, private theatricals, and twenty
+things besides, but they all seemed unsuitable subjects to start
+conversation with in this case. There was, I began to fear, no common
+ground on which we could meet and exchange thoughts, or, at any rate,
+words. Then I remembered that ground, common and broad enough, of our
+human feelings, especially the sweet and important feeling of love. But
+how was I to lead up to it? The work she was engaged with at length
+suggested an opening, and the opportunity to make a pretty little
+speech.
+
+"Your sight must be as good as your eyes are pretty," said I, "to enable
+you to work in such a dim light."
+
+"Oh, the light is good enough," she answered, taking no notice of the
+compliment. "Besides, this is such easy work I could do it in the dark."
+
+"It is very pretty work--may I look at it?"
+
+She handed the stuff to me, but instead of taking it in the ordinary
+way, I placed my hand under hers, and, holding up cloth and hand
+together, proceeded to give a minute and prolonged scrutiny to her work.
+
+"Do you know that I am enjoying two distinct pleasures at one and the
+same time?" said I. "One is in seeing your work, the other in holding
+your hand; and I think the last pleasure even greater than the first."
+As she made no reply, I added somewhat lamely: "May I--keep on holding
+it?"
+
+"That would prevent me from working," she answered, with the utmost
+gravity. "But you may hold it for a little while."
+
+"Oh, thank you," I exclaimed, delighted with the privilege; and then, to
+make the most of my precious "little while," I pressed it warmly,
+whereupon she cried out aloud: "Oh, Smith, you are squeezing too
+hard--you hurt my hand!"
+
+I dropped it instantly in the greatest confusion. "Oh, for goodness
+sake," I stammered, "please, do not make such an outcry! You don't know
+what a hobble you'll get me into."
+
+Fortunately, no notice was taken of the exclamation, though it was hard
+to believe that her words had not been overheard; and presently,
+recovering from my fright, I apologized for hurting her, and hoped she
+would forgive me.
+
+"There is nothing to forgive," she returned gently. "You did not really
+squeeze hard, only my hand hurts, because to-day when I pressed it on
+the ground beside the grave I ran a small thorn into it." Then the
+remembrance of that scene at the burial brought a sudden mist of tears
+into her lovely eyes.
+
+"I am so sorry I hurt you, Yoletta--may I call you Yoletta?" said I, all
+at once remembering that she had called me Smith, without the customary
+prefix.
+
+"Why, that is my name--what else should you call me?" she returned,
+evidently with surprise.
+
+"It is a pretty name, and so sweet on the lips that I should like to be
+repeating it continually," I answered. "But it is only right that you
+should have a pretty name, because--well, if I may tell you, because you
+are so very beautiful."
+
+"Yes; but is that strange--are not all people beautiful?"
+
+I thought of certain London types, especially among the "criminal
+classes," and of the old women with withered, simian faces and wearing
+shawls, slinking in or out of public-houses at the street corners; and
+also of some people of a better class I had known personally--some even
+in the House of Commons; and I felt that I could not agree with her,
+much as I wished to do so, without straining my conscience.
+
+"At all events, you will allow," said I, evading the question, "that
+there are _degrees_ of beauty, just as there are degrees of light.
+You may be able to see to work in this light, but it is very faint
+compared with the noonday light when the sun is shining."
+
+"Oh, there is not so great a difference between people as _that_,"
+she replied, with the air of a philosopher. "There are different kinds
+of beauty, I allow, and some people seem more beautiful to us than
+others, but that is only because we love them more. The best loved are
+always the most beautiful."
+
+This seemed to reverse the usual idea, that the more beautiful the
+person is the more he or she gets loved. However, I was not going to
+disagree with her any more, and only said: "How sweetly you talk,
+Yoletta; you are as wise as you are beautiful. I could wish for no
+greater pleasure than to sit here listening to you the whole evening."
+
+"Ah, then, I am sorry I must leave you now," she answered, with a bright
+smile which made me think that perhaps my little speech had pleased her.
+
+"Do you wonder why I smile?" she added, as if able to read my thoughts.
+"It is because I have often heard words like yours from one who is
+waiting for me now."
+
+This speech caused me a jealous pang. But for a few moments after
+speaking, she continued regarding me with that bright, spiritual smile
+on her lips; then it faded, and her face clouded and her glance fell. I
+did not ask her to tell me, nor did I ask myself, the reason of that
+change; and afterwards how often I noticed that same change in her, and
+in the others too--that sudden silence and clouding of the face, such as
+may be seen in one who freely expresses himself to a person who cannot
+hear, and then, all at once but too late, remembers the other's
+infirmity.
+
+"Must you go?" I only said. "What shall I do alone?".
+
+"Oh, you shall not be alone," she replied, and going away returned
+presently with another lady. "This is Edra," she said simply. "She will
+take my place by your side and talk with you."
+
+I could not tell her that she had taken my words too literally, that
+being alone simply meant being separated from her; but there was no help
+for it, and some one, alas! some one I greatly hated was waiting for
+her. I could only thank her and her friend for their kind intentions.
+But what in the name of goodness was I to say to this beautiful woman
+who was sitting by me? She was certainly very beautiful, with a far more
+mature and perhaps a nobler beauty than Yoletta's, her age being about
+twenty-seven or twenty-eight; but the divine charm in the young girl's
+face could, for me, exist in no other.
+
+Presently she opened the conversation by asking me if I disliked being
+alone.
+
+"Well, no, perhaps not exactly that," I said; "but I think it much
+jollier--much more pleasant, I mean--to have some very nice person to
+talk to."
+
+She assented, and, pleased at her ready intelligence, I added: "And it
+is particularly pleasant when you are understood. But I have no fear
+that you, at any rate, will fail to understand anything I may say."
+
+"You have had some trouble to-day," she returned, with a charming smile.
+"I sometimes think that women can understand even more readily than
+men."
+
+"There's not a doubt of it!" I returned warmly, glad to find that with
+Edra it was all plain sailing. "It must be patent to every one that
+women have far quicker, finer intellects than men, although their brains
+are smaller; but then quality is more important than mere quantity. And
+yet," I continued, "some people hold that women ought not to have the
+franchise, or suffrage, or whatever it is! Not that I care two straws
+about the question myself, and I only hope they'll never get it; but
+then I think it is so illogical--don't you?"
+
+"I am afraid I do not understand you, Smith," she returned, looking much
+distressed.
+
+"Well, no, I suppose not, but what I said was of no consequence," I
+replied; then, wishing to make a fresh start, I added: "But I am so glad
+to hear you call me Smith. It makes it so much more pleasant and
+homelike to be treated without formality. It is very kind of you, I'm
+sure."
+
+"But surely your name is Smith?" said she, looking very much surprised.
+
+"Oh yes, my name is Smith: only of course--well, the tact is, I was just
+wondering what to call you."
+
+"My name is Edra," she replied, looking more bewildered than ever; and
+from that moment the conversation, which had begun so favorably, was
+nothing but a series of entanglements, from which I could only escape in
+each case by breaking the threads of the subject under discussion, and
+introducing a new one.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 7
+
+The moment of retiring, to which I had been looking forward with
+considerable interest as one likely to bring fresh surprises, arrived at
+last: it brought only extreme discomfort. I was conducted (without a
+flat candlestick) along an obscure passage; then, at right angles with
+the first, a second broader, lighter passage, leading past a great many
+doors placed near together. These, I ascertained later, were the
+dormitories, or sleeping-cells, and were placed side by side in a row
+opening on the terrace at the back of the house. Having reached the door
+of my box, my conductor pushed back the sliding-panel, and when I had
+groped my way to the dark interior, closed it again behind me. There was
+no light for me except the light of the stars; for directly opposite the
+door by which I had entered stood another, open wide to the night, which
+was apparently not intended ever to be closed. The prospect was the one
+I had already seen--the wilderness sloping to the river, and the glassy
+surface of the broad water, reflecting the stars, and the black masses
+of large trees. There was no sound save the hooting of an owl in the
+distance, and the wailing note of some mournful-minded water-fowl. The
+night air blew in cold and moist, which made my bones ache, though they
+were not broken; and feeling very sleepy and miserable, I groped about
+until I Was rewarded by discovering a narrow bed, or cot of
+trellis-work, on which was a hard straw pallet and a small straw pillow;
+also, folded small, a kind of woolen sleeping garment. Too tired to keep
+out of even such an uninviting bed, I flung off my clothes, and with my
+moldy tweeds for only covering I laid me down, but not to sleep. The
+misery of it! for although my body was warm--too warm, in fact--the wind
+blew on my face and bare feet and legs, and made it impossible to sleep.
+
+About midnight, I was just falling into a doze when a sound as of a
+person coming with a series of jumps into the room disturbed me; and
+starting up I was horrified to see, sitting on the floor, a great beast
+much too big for a dog, with large, erect ears. He was intently watching
+me, his round eyes shining like a pair of green phosphorescent globes.
+Having no weapon, I was at the brute's mercy, and was about to utter a
+loud shout to summon assistance, but as he sat so still I refrained, and
+began even to hope that he would go quietly away. Then he stood up, went
+back to the door and sniffed audibly at it; and thinking that he was
+about to relieve me of his unwelcome presence, I dropped my head on the
+pillow and lay perfectly still. Then he turned and glared at me again,
+and finally, advancing deliberately to my side, sniffed at my face. It
+was all over with me now, I thought, and closing my eyes, and feeling my
+forehead growing remarkably moist in spite of the cold, I murmured a
+little prayer. When I looked again the brute had vanished, to my
+inexpressible relief.
+
+It seemed very astonishing that an animal like a wolf should come into
+the house; but I soon remembered that I had seen no dogs about, so that
+all kinds of savage, prowling beasts could come in with impunity. It was
+getting beyond a joke: but then all this seemed only a fit ending to the
+perfectly absurd arrangement into which I had been induced to enter.
+"Goodness gracious!" I exclaimed, sitting bolt upright on my straw bed,
+"am I a rational being or an inebriated donkey, or what, to have
+consented to such a proposal? It is clear that I was not quite in my
+right mind when I made the agreement, and I am therefore not morally
+bound to observe it. What! be a field laborer, a hewer of wood and
+drawer of water, and sleep on a miserable straw mat in an open porch,
+with wolves for visitors at all hours of the night, and all for a few
+barbarous rags! I don't know much about plowing and that sort of thing,
+but I suppose any able-bodied man can earn a pound a week, and that
+would be fifty-two pounds for a suit of clothes. Who ever heard of such
+a thing! Wolves and all thrown in for nothing! I daresay I shall have a
+tiger dropping in presently just to have a look round. No, no, my
+venerable friend, that was all excellent acting about my extraordinary
+delusions, and the rest of it, but I am not going to be carried so far
+by them as to adhere to such an outrageously one-sided bargain."
+
+Presently I remembered two things--divine Yoletta was the first; and the
+second was that thought of the rare pleasure it would be to array myself
+in those same "barbarous rags," as I had blasphemously called them.
+These things had entered into my soul, and had become a part of
+me--especially--well, both. Those strange garments had looked so
+refreshingly picturesque, and I had conceived such an intense longing to
+wear them! Was it a very contemptible ambition on my part? Is it sinful
+to wish for any adornments other than wisdom and sobriety, a meek and
+loving spirit, good works, and other things of the kind? Straight into
+my brain flashed the words of a sentence I had recently read--that is to
+say, just before my accident--in a biological work, and it comforted me
+as much as if an angel with shining face and rainbow-colored wings had
+paid me a visit in my dusky cell: "Unto Adam also, and his wife, did the
+Lord God make coats of skin and clothed them. This has become, as every
+one knows, a custom among the race of men, and shows at present no sign
+of becoming obsolete. Moreover, that first correlation, namely,
+milk-glands and a hairy covering, appears to have entered the very soul
+of creatures of this class, and to have become psychical as well as
+physical, for in that type, which is only _for a while_ inferior to
+the angels, the fondness for this kind of outer covering is a strong,
+ineradicable passion!" Most true and noble words, O biologist of the
+fiery soul! It was a delight to remember them. A "strong and
+ineradicable passion," not merely to clothe the body, but to clothe it
+appropriately, that is to say, beautifully, and by so doing please God
+and ourselves. This being so, must we go on for ever scraping our faces
+with a sharp iron, until they are blue and spotty with manifold
+scrapings; and cropping our hair short to give ourselves an artificial
+resemblance to old dogs and monkeys--creatures lower than us in the
+scale of being--and array our bodies, like mutes at a funeral, in
+repulsive black--we, "Eutheria of the Eutheria, the noble of the noble?"
+And all for what, since it pleases not heaven nor accords with our own
+desires? For the sake of respectability, perhaps, whatever that may
+mean. Oh, then, a million curses take it--respectability, I mean; may it
+sink into the bottomless pit, and the smoke of its torment ascend for
+ever and ever! And having thus, by taking thought, brought my mind into
+this temper, I once more finally determined to have the clothes, and
+religiously to observe the compact.
+
+It made me quite happy to end it in this way. The hard bed, the cold
+night wind blowing on me, my wolfish visitor, were all forgotten. Once
+more I gave loose to my imagination, and saw myself (clothed and in my
+right mind) sitting at Yoletta's feet, learning the mystery of that
+sweet, tranquil life from her precious lips. A whole year was mine in
+which to love her and win her gentle heart. But her hand--ah, that was
+another matter. What had I to give in return for such a boon as that?
+Only that strength concerning which my venerable host had spoken
+somewhat encouragingly. He had also been so good as to mention my skill;
+but I could scarcely trade on that. And if a whole year's labor was only
+sufficient to pay for a suit of clothing, how many years of toil would
+be required to win Yoletta's hand?
+
+Naturally, at this juncture, I began to draw a parallel between my case
+and that of an ancient historical personage, whose name is familiar to
+most. History repeats itself--with variations. Jacob--namely,
+Smith--cometh to the well of Haran. He taketh acquaintance of Rachel,
+here called Yoletta. And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice
+and wept. That is a touch of nature I can thoroughly appreciate--the
+kissing, I mean; but why he wept I cannot tell, unless it be because he
+was not an Englishman. And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father's
+brother. I am glad to have no such startling piece of information to
+give to the object of my affections: we are not even distant relations,
+and her age being, say, fifteen, and mine twenty-one, we are so far well
+suited to each other, according to my notions. Smith covenanted! for
+Yoletta, and said: "I will serve thee seven years for Yoletta, thy
+younger daughter"; and the old gentleman answered: "Abide with me, for I
+would rather you should have her than some other person." Now I wonder
+whether the matter will be complicated with Leah--that is, Edra? Leah
+was considerably older than Rachel, and, like Edra, tender-eyed. I do
+not aspire or desire to marry both, especially if I should, like Jacob,
+have to begin with the wrong one, however tender-eyed: but for divine
+Yoletta I could serve seven years; yea, and fourteen, if it comes to it.
+
+Thus I mused, and thus I questioned, tossing and turning on my
+inhospitable hard bed, until merciful sleep laid her quieting hands on
+the strings of my brain, and hushed their weary jangling.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 8
+
+Fortunately I woke early next morning, for I was now a member of an
+early-rising family, and anxious to conform to rules. On going to the
+door I found, to my inexpressible disgust, that I might easily have
+closed it in the way I had seen the other door closed, by simply pulling
+a sliding panel. There was ventilation enough without having the place
+open to prowling beasts of prey. I also found that if I had turned up
+the little stray bed I should have had warm woolen sheets to sleep in.
+
+I resolved to say nothing about my nocturnal visitor, not wishing to
+begin the day by furnishing fresh instances of what might seem like
+crass stupidity on my part. While occupied with these matters I began to
+hear people moving about and talking on the terrace, and peeping out, I
+beheld a curious and interesting spectacle. Down the broad steps leading
+to the water the people of the house were hurrying, and flinging
+themselves like agile, startled frogs on the bosom of the stream. There,
+in the midst of his family, my venerable host was already disporting
+himself, his long, silvery beard and hair floating like a foam on the
+waves of his own creating. And presently from other sleeping-rooms on a
+line with mine shot forth new bewitching forms, each sparsely clothed in
+a slender clinging garment, which concealed no beauteous curve beneath;
+and nimbly running and leaping down the slope, they quickly joined the
+masculine bathers.
+
+Looking about I soon found a pretty thing in which to array myself, and
+quickly started after the others, risking my neck in my desire to
+imitate the new mode of motion I had just witnessed. The water was
+delightfully cool and refreshing, and the company very agreeable, ladies
+and gentlemen all swimming and diving about together with the
+unconventional freedom and grace of a company of grebes.
+
+After dressing, we assembled in the eating-room or portico where we had
+supped, just when the red disk of the sun was showing itself above the
+horizon, kindling the clouds with yellow flame, and filling the green
+world with new light. I felt happy and strong that morning, very able
+and willing to work in the fields, and, better than all, very hopeful
+about that affair of the heart. Happiness, however, is seldom perfect,
+and in the clear, tender morning light I could not help contrasting my
+own repulsively ugly garments with the bright and beautiful costumes
+worn by the others, which seemed to harmonize so well with their fresh,
+happy morning mood. I also missed the fragrant cup of coffee, the
+streaky rasher from the dear familiar pig, and, after breakfast, the
+well-flavored cigar; but these lesser drawbacks were soon forgotten.
+
+After the meal a small closed basket was handed to me, and one of the
+young men led me out to a little distance from the house, then, pointing
+to a belt of wood about a mile away, told me to walk towards it until I
+came to a plowed field on the slope of a valley, where I could do some
+plowing. Before leaving me he took from his own person a metal
+dog-whistle, with a string attached, and hung it round my neck, but
+without explaining its use.
+
+Basket in hand I went away, over the dewy grass, whistling
+light-heartedly, and after half an hour's walk found the spot indicated,
+where about an acre and a half of land had been recently turned; there
+also, lying in the furrow, I found the plow, an implement I knew very
+little about. This particular plow, however, appeared to be a simple,
+primitive thing, consisting of a long beam of wood, with an upright pole
+to guide it; a metal share in the center, going off to one side,
+balanced on the other by a couple of small wheels; and there were also
+some long ropes attached to a cross-stick at the end of the beam. There
+being no horses or bullocks to do the work, and being unable to draw the
+plow myself as well as guide it, I sat down leisurely to examine the
+contents of my basket, which, I found, consisted of brown bread, dried
+fruit, and a stone bottle of milk. Then, not knowing what else to do, I
+began to amuse myself by blowing on the whistle, and emitted a most
+shrill and piercing sound, which very soon produced an unexpected
+effect. Two noble-looking horses, resembling those I had seen the day
+before, came galloping towards me as if in response to the sound I had
+made. Approaching swiftly to within fifty yards they stood still,
+staring and snorting as if alarmed or astonished, after which they swept
+round me three or four times, neighing in a sharp, ringing manner, and
+finally, after having exhausted their superfluous energy, they walked to
+the plow and placed themselves deliberately before it. It looked as if
+these animals had come at my call to do the work; I therefore approached
+them, with more than needful caution, using many soothing, conciliatory
+sounds and words the while, and after a little further study I
+discovered how to adjust the ropes to them. There were no blinkers or
+reins, nor did these superb animals seem to think any were wanted; but
+after I had taken the pole in my hand, and said "Gee up, Dobbin," in a
+tone of command, followed by some inarticulate clicks with the tongue,
+they rewarded me with a disconcerting stare, and then began dragging the
+plow. As long as I held the pole straight the share cut its way evenly
+through the mold, but occasionally, owing to my inadvertence, it would
+go off at a tangent or curve quite out of the ground; and whenever this
+happened the horses would stop, turn round and stare at me, then,
+touching their noses together seem to exchange ideas on the subject.
+When the first furrow was finished, they did not double back, as I
+expected, but went straight away to a distance of thirty yards, and
+then, turning, marched back, cutting a fresh furrow parallel with the
+first, and as straight as a line. Then they returned to the original
+starting-point and cut another, then again to the new furrow, and so on
+progressively. All this seemed very wonderful to me, giving the
+impression that I had been a skillful plowman all my life without
+knowing it. It was interesting work; and I was also amused to see the
+little birds that came in numbers from the wood to devour the worms in
+the fresh-turned mold; for between their fear of me and their desire to
+get the worms, they were in a highly perplexed state, and generally
+confined their operations to one end of the furrow while I was away at
+the other. The space the horses had marked out for themselves was plowed
+up in due time, whereupon they marched off and made a fresh furrow as
+before, where there was nothing to guide them; and so the work went on
+agreeably for some hours, until I felt myself growing desperately
+hungry. Sitting down on the beam of the plow, I opened my basket and
+discussed the homely fare with a keen appetite.
+
+After finishing the food I resumed work again, but not as cheerfully as
+at first: I began to feel a little stiff and tired, and the immense
+quantity of mold adhering to my boots made it heavy walking; moreover,
+the novelty had now worn off. The horses also did not work as smoothly
+as at the commencement: they seemed to have something on their minds,
+for at the end of every furrow they would turn and stare at me in the
+most exasperating manner.
+
+"Phew!" I ejaculated, as I stood wiping the honest sweat from my face
+with my moldy, ancient, and extremely dirty pocket-handkerchief. "Three
+hundred and sixty-four days of this sort of thing is a rather long price
+to pay for a suit of clothes."
+
+While standing there, I saw an animal coming swiftly towards me from the
+direction of the forest, bounding along over the earth with a speed like
+that of a greyhound--a huge, fierce-looking brute; and when close to me,
+I felt convinced that it was an animal of the same kind as the one I had
+seen during the night. Before I had made up my mind what to do, he was
+within a few yards of me, and then, coming to a sudden halt, he sat down
+on his haunches, and gravely watched me. Calling to mind some things I
+had heard about the terrifying effect of the human eye on royal tigers
+and other savage beasts, I gazed steadily at him, and then almost lost
+my fear in admiration of his beauty. He was taller than a boarhound, but
+slender in figure, with keen, fox-like features, and very large, erect
+ears; his coat was silvery-gray, and long; there were two black spots
+above his eyes; and the feet, muzzle, ear-tips, and end of the bushy
+tail were also velvet-black. After watching me quietly for two or three
+minutes, he started up, and, much to my relief, trotted away towards the
+wood; but after going about fifty yards he looked back, and seeing me
+still gazing after him, wheeled round and rushed at me, and when quite
+close uttered a sound like a ringing, metallic yelp, after which he once
+more bounded away, and disappeared from sight.
+
+The horses now turned round, and, deliberately walking up to me, stood
+still, in spite of all I could do to make them continue the work. After
+waiting a while they proceeded to wriggle themselves out of the ropes,
+and galloped off, loudly neighing to each other, and flinging up their
+disdainful heels so as to send a shower of dirt over me. Left alone in
+this unceremonious fashion, I presently began to think that they knew
+more about the work than I did, and that, finding me indisposed to
+release them at the proper moment, they had taken the matter into their
+own hands, or hoofs rather. A little more pondering, and I also came to
+the conclusion that the singular wolf-like animal was only one of the
+house-dogs; that he had visited me in the night to remind me that I was
+sleeping with the door open, and had come now to insist on a suspension
+of work.
+
+Glad at having discovered all these things without displaying my
+ignorance by asking questions, I took up my basket and started home.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 9
+
+When I arrived at the house I was met by the young man who had set me
+the morning's task; but he was taciturn now, and wore a cold, estranged
+look, which seemed to portend trouble. He at once led me to a part of
+the house at a distance from the hall, and into a large apartment I now
+saw for the first time. In a few moments the master of the house,
+followed by most of the other inmates, also entered, and on the faces of
+all of them I noticed the same cold, offended look.
+
+"The dickens take my luck!" said I to myself, beginning to feel
+extremely uncomfortable. "I suppose I have offended against the laws and
+customs by working the horses too long."
+
+"Smith," said the old man, advancing to the table, and depositing
+thereon a large volume he had brought with him, "come here, and read to
+me in this book."
+
+Advancing to the table, I saw that it was written in the same minute,
+Hebrew-like characters of the folio I had examined on the previous
+evening. "I cannot read it; I do not understand the letters," I said,
+feeling some shame at having thus publicly to confess my ignorance.
+
+"Then," said he, bending on me a look of the utmost severity, "there is
+indeed little more to be said. Nevertheless, we take into account the
+confused state of your intellect yesterday, and judge you leniently; and
+let us hope that the pangs of an outraged conscience will be more
+painful to you than the light punishment I am about to inflict for so
+destestable a crime."
+
+I now concluded that I had offended by squeezing Yoletta's hand, and had
+been told to read from the book merely to make myself acquainted with
+the pains and penalties attendant on such an indiscretion, for to call
+it a "detestable crime" seemed to me a very great abuse of language.
+
+"If I have offended," was my answer, delivered with little humility, "I
+can only plead my ignorance of the customs of the house."
+
+"No man," he returned, with increased severity, "is so ignorant as not
+to know right from wrong. Had the matter come to my knowledge sooner, I
+should have said: Depart from us, for your continued presence in the
+house offends us; but we have made a compact with you, and, until the
+year expires, we must suffer you. For the space of sixty days you must
+dwell apart from us, never leaving the room, where each day a task will
+be assigned to you, and subsisting on bread and water only. Let us hope
+that in this period of solitude and silence you will sufficiently repent
+your crime, and rejoin us afterwards with a changed heart; for all
+offenses may be forgiven a man, but it is impossible to forgive a lie."
+
+"A lie!" I exclaimed in amazement. "I have told no lie!"
+
+"This," said he, with an access of wrath, "is an aggravation of your
+former offense. It is even a worse offense than the first, and must be
+dealt with separately--when the sixty days have expired."
+
+"Are you, then, going to condemn me without hearing me speak, or telling
+me anything about it? What lie have I told?"
+
+After a pause, during which he closely scrutinized my face, he said,
+pointing to the open page before him: "Yesterday, in answer to my
+question, you told me that you could read. Last evening you made a
+contrary statement to Yoletta; and now here is the book, and you confess
+that you cannot read it."
+
+"But that is easily explained," said I, immensely relieved, for I
+certainly had felt a little guilty about the hand-squeezing performance,
+although it was not a very serious matter. "I can read the books of my
+own country, and naturally concluded that your books were written in the
+same kind of letters; but last evening I discovered that it was not so.
+You have already seen the letters of my country on the coins I showed
+you last evening."
+
+And here I again pulled out my pocket-book, and emptied the contents on
+the table.
+
+He began to pick up the sovereigns one by one to examine them.
+Meanwhile, finding my beautiful black and gold stylograph pen inserted
+in the book, I thought I could not do better than to show him how I
+wrote. Fortunately, the fluid in it had not become dry. Tearing a blank
+page from my book I hastily scribbled a few lines, and handed the paper
+to him, saying: "This is how I write."
+
+He began studying the paper, but his eyes, I perceived, wandered often
+to the stylograph pen in my hand.
+
+Presently he remarked: "This writing, or these marks you have made on
+the paper, are not the same as the letters on the gold."
+
+I took the paper and proceeded to copy the sentence I had written, but
+in printing letters, beneath it, then returned it to him.
+
+He examined it again, and, after comparing my letters with those on the
+sovereigns, said: "Pray tell me, now, what you have written here, and
+explain why you write in two different ways?"
+
+I told him, as well as I could, why letters of one form were used to
+stamp on gold and other substances, and of a different form for writing.
+Then, with a modest blush, I read the words of the sentence: "In
+different parts of the world men have different customs, and write
+different letters; but alike to all men in all places, a lie is
+hateful."
+
+"Smith," he said, addressing me in an impressive manner, but happily not
+to charge me with a third and bigger lie, "I have lived long in the
+world, and the knowledge others possess concerning it is mine also. It
+is common knowledge that in the hotter and colder regions men are
+compelled to live differently, owing to the conditions they are placed
+in; but we know that everywhere they have the same law of right and
+wrong inscribed on the heart, and, as you have said, hate a lie; also
+that they all speak the same language; and until this moment I also
+believed that they wrote in similar characters. You, however, have now
+succeeded in convincing me that this is not the case; that in some
+obscure valley, cut off from all intercourse by inaccessible mountains,
+or in some small, unknown island of the sea, a people may exist--ah, did
+you not tell me that you came from an island?"
+
+"Yes, my home was on an island," I answered.
+
+"So I imagined. An island of which no report has ever reached us, where
+the people, isolated from their fellows, have in the course of many
+centuries changed their customs--even their manner of writing. Although
+I had seen these gold pieces I did not understand, or did not realize,
+that such a human family existed: now I am persuaded of it, and as I
+alone am to blame for having brought this charge against you, I must now
+ask your forgiveness. We rejoice at your innocence, and hope with
+increased love to atone for our injustice. My son," he concluded,
+placing a hand on my shoulder, "I am now deeply in your debt."
+
+"I am glad it has ended so happily," I replied, wondering whether his
+being in my debt would increase my chances with Yoletta or not.
+
+Seeing him again directing curious glances at the stylograph, which I
+was turning about in my fingers, I offered it to him.
+
+He examined it with interest.
+
+"I have only been waiting for an opportunity," he said, "to look closely
+at this wonderful contrivance, for I had perceived that your writing was
+not made with a pencil, but with a fluid. It is black polished stone,
+beautifully fashioned and encircled with gold bands, and contains the
+writing-fluid within itself. This surprises me as much as anything you
+have told me."
+
+"Allow me to make you a present of it," said I, seeing him so taken with
+it.
+
+"No, not so," he returned. "But I should greatly like to possess it, and
+will keep it if I may bestow in return something you desire."
+
+Yoletta's hand was really the only thing in life I desired, but it was
+too early to speak yet, as I knew nothing about their matrimonial
+usages--not even whether or not the lady's consent was necessary to a
+compact of the kind. I therefore made a more modest request. "There is
+one thing I greatly desire," I said. "I am very anxious to be able to
+read in your books, and shall consider myself more than compensated if
+you will permit Yoletta to teach me."
+
+"She shall teach you in any case, my son," he returned. "That, and much
+more, is already owning to you."
+
+"There is nothing else I desire," said I. "Pray keep the pen and make me
+happy."
+
+And thus ended a disagreeable matter.
+
+The cloud having blown over, we all repaired to the supper-room, and
+nothing could exceed our happiness as we sat at meat--or vegetables. Not
+feeling so ravenously hungry as on the previous evening, and, moreover,
+seeing them all in so lively a mood, I did not hesitate to join in the
+conversation: nor did I succeed so very badly, considering the
+strangeness of it all; for like the bee that has been much hindered at
+his flowery work by geometric webs, I began to acquire some skill in
+pushing my way gracefully through the tangling meshes of thought and
+phrases that were new to me.
+
+The afternoon's experiences had certainly been remarkable--a strange
+mixture of pain and pleasure, not blending into homogeneous gray, but
+resembling rather a bright embroidery on a dark, somber ground; and of
+these surprising contrasts I was destined to have more that same
+evening.
+
+We were again assembled in the great room, the venerable father
+reclining at his ease on his throne-like couch near the brass globes,
+while the others pursued their various occupations as on the former
+evening. Not being able to get near Yoletta, and having nothing to do, I
+settled myself comfortably in one of the spacious seats, and gave up my
+mind to pleasant dreams. At length, to my surprise, the father, who had
+been regarding me for some time, said: "Will you lead, my son?"
+
+I started up, turning very red in the face, for I did not wish to
+trouble him with questions, yet was at a loss to know what he meant by
+leading. I thought of several things--whist, evening prayers, dancing,
+etc.; but being still in doubt, I was compelled to ask him to explain.
+
+"Will you lead the singing?" he returned, looking a little surprised.
+
+"Oh yes, with pleasure," said I. There being no music about, and no
+piano, I concluded naturally that my friends amused themselves with solo
+songs without accompaniment of an evening, and having a good tenor voice
+I was not unwilling to lead off with a song. Clearing my rusty throat
+with a _ghrr-ghrr-hram_ which made them all jump, I launched forth
+with the "Vicar of Bray"--a grand old song and a great favorite of mine.
+They all started when I commenced, exchanging glances, and casting
+astonished looks towards me; but it was getting so dusky in the room
+that I could not feel sure that my eyes were not deceiving me. Presently
+some that were near me began retiring to distant seats, and this
+distressed me so that it made me hoarse, and my singing became very bad
+indeed; but still I thought it best to go bravely on to the end.
+Suddenly the old gentleman, who had been staring wildly at me for some
+time, drew up his long yellow robe and wrapped it round his face and
+head. I glanced at Yoletta, sitting at some distance, and saw that she
+was holding her hands pressed to her ears.
+
+I thought it about time to leave off then, and stopping abruptly in the
+middle of the fourth stanza I sat down, feeling extremely hot and
+uncomfortable. I was almost choking, and unable to utter a word. But
+there was no word for me to utter: it was, of course, for them to thank
+me for singing, or to say something; but not a word was spoken. Yoletta
+dropped her hands and resumed her work, while the old man slowly emerged
+with a somewhat frightened look from the wrappings; and then the long
+dead silence becoming unendurable, I remarked that I feared my singing
+was not to their taste. No reply was made; only the father, putting out
+one of his hands, touched a handle or key near him, whereupon one of the
+brass globes began slowly revolving. A low murmur of sound arose, and
+seemed to pass like a wave through the room, dying away in the distance,
+soon to be succeeded by another, and then another, each marked by an
+increase of power; and often as this solemn sound died away, faint
+flute-like notes were heard as if approaching, but still at a great
+distance, and in the ensuing wave of sound from the great globes they
+would cease to be distinguishable. Still the mysterious coming sounds
+continued at intervals to grow louder and clearer, joined by other tones
+as they progressed, now altogether bursting out in joyous chorus, then
+one purest liquid note soaring bird-like alone, but whether from voices
+or wind-instruments I was unable to tell, until the whole air about me
+was filled and palpitating with the strange, exquisite harmony, which
+passed onwards, the tones growing fewer and fainter by degrees until
+they almost died out of hearing in the opposite direction. That all were
+now taking part in the performance I became convinced by watching in
+turn different individuals, some of them having small, curiously-shaped
+instruments in their hands, but there was a blending of voices and a
+something like ventriloquism in the tones which made it impossible to
+distinguish the notes of any one person. Deeper, more sonorous tones now
+issued from the revolving globes, sometimes resembling in character the
+vox humana of an organ, and every time they rose to a certain pitch
+there were responsive sounds--not certainly from any of the
+performers--low, tremulous, and Aeolian in character, wandering over the
+entire room, as if walls and ceiling were honey-combed with sensitive
+musical cells, answering to the deeper vibrations. These floating aerial
+sounds also answered to the higher notes of some of the female singers,
+resembling soprano voices, brightened and spiritualized in a wonderful
+degree; and then the wide room would be filled with a mist, as it were,
+of this floating, formless melody, which seemed to come from invisible
+harpers hovering in the shadows above.
+
+Lying back on my couch, listening with closed eyes to this mysterious,
+soul-stirring concert, I was affected to tears, and almost feared that I
+had been snatched away into some supra-mundane region inhabited by
+beings of an angelic or half-angelic order--feared, I say, for, with
+this new love in my heart, no elysium or starry abode could compare with
+this green earth for a dwellingplace. But when I remembered my own
+brutal bull of Bashan performance, my face, there in the dark, was on
+fire with shame; and I cursed the ignorant, presumptuous folly I had
+been guilty of in roaring out that abominable "Vicar of Bray" ballad,
+which had now become as hateful to me as my trousers or boots. The
+composer of that song, the writer of the words, and its subject, the
+double-faced Vicar himself, presented themselves to my mind as the three
+most damnable beings that had ever existed. "The devil take my luck!" I
+muttered, grinding my teeth with impotent anger; for it seemed such hard
+lines, just when I had succeeded in getting into favor, to go and spoil
+it all in that unhappy way. Now that I had become acquainted with their
+style of singing, the supposed fib, about which there had been such a
+pother, seemed a very venial offense compared with my attempt to lead
+the singing. Nevertheless, when the concert was over, not a word was
+said on the subject by any one, though I had quite expected to be taken
+at once to the magisterial chamber to hear some dreadful sentence passed
+on me; and when, before retiring, anxious to propitiate my host, I began
+to express regret for having inflicted pain on them by attempting to
+sing, the venerable gentleman raised his hands deprecatingly, and begged
+me to say no more about it, for painful subjects were best forgotten.
+"No doubt," he kindly added, "when you were lying there buried among the
+hills, you swallowed a large amount of earth and gravel in your efforts
+to breathe, and have not yet freed your lungs from it."
+
+This was the most charitable view he could take of the matter, and I was
+thankful that no worse result followed.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 10
+
+At length the joyful day arrived when I was to cease, in outward
+appearance at all events, to be an alien; for returning at noon from the
+fields, on entering my cell I beheld my beautiful new garments--two
+complete suits, besides underwear: one, the most soberly colored,
+intended only for working hours; but the second, which was for the
+house, claimed my first attention. Trembling with eagerness, I flung off
+the old tweeds, the cracked boots, and other vestiges of a civilization
+which they had perhaps survived, and soon found that I had been measured
+with faultless accuracy; for everything, down to the shoes, fitted to
+perfection. Green was the prevailing or ground tint--a soft sap green;
+the pattern on it, which was very beautiful, being a somewhat obscure
+red, inclining to purple. My delight culminated when I drew on the hose,
+which had, like those worn by the others, a curious design, evidently
+borrowed from the skin of some kind of snake. The ground color was light
+green, almost citron yellow, in fact, and the pattern a bright maroon
+red, with bronze reflections.
+
+I had no sooner arrayed myself than, with a flushed face and palpitating
+heart, I flew to exhibit myself to my friends, and found them assembled
+and waiting to see and admire the result of their work. The pleasure I
+saw reflected in their transparent faces increased my happiness a
+hundredfold, and I quite astonished them with the torrent of eloquence
+in which I expressed my overflowing gratitude.
+
+"Now, tell me one secret," I exclaimed, when the excitement began to
+abate a little. "Why is green the principal color in my clothes, when no
+other person in the house wears more than a very little of it?"
+
+I had no sooner spoken than I heartily wished that I had held my peace;
+for it all at once occurred to me that green was perhaps the color for
+an alien or mere hireling, in which light they perhaps regarded me.
+
+"Oh, Smith, can you not guess so simple a thing?" said Edra, placing her
+white hands on my shoulders and smiling straight into my face.
+
+How beautiful she looked, standing there with her eyes so near to mine!
+"Tell me why, Edra?" I said, still with a lingering apprehension.
+
+"Why, look at the color of my eyes and skin--would this green tint be
+suitable for me to wear?"
+
+"Oh, is that the reason!" cried I, immensely relieved. "I think, Edra,
+you would look very beautiful in any color that is on the earth, or in
+the rainbow above the earth. But am I so different from you all?"
+
+"Oh yes, quite different--have you never looked at yourself? Your skin
+is whiter and redder, and your hair has a very different color. It will
+look better when it grows long, I think. And your eyes--do you know that
+they never change! for when we look at you closely they are still
+blue-gray, and not green."
+
+"No; I wish they were," said I. "Now I shall value my clothes a hundred
+times more, since you have taken so much pains to make them--well, what
+shall I say?--harmonize, I suppose, with the peculiar color of my mug.
+Dash it all, I'm blundering again! I mean--I mean--don't you know----"
+
+Edra laughed and gave it up. Then we all laughed; for now evidently my
+blundering did not so much matter, since I had shed my outer integument,
+and come forth like a snake (with a divided tail) in a brand new skin.
+
+Presently I missed Yoletta from the room, and desiring above all things
+to have some word of congratulation from her lips, I went off to seek
+her. She was standing under the portico waiting for me. "Come," she
+said, and proceeded to lead me into the music-room, where we sat down on
+one of the couches close to the dais; there she produced some large
+white tablets, and red chalk pencils or crayons.
+
+"Now, Smith, I am going to begin teaching you," said she, with the grave
+air of a young schoolmistress; "and every afternoon, when your work is
+done, you must come to me here."
+
+"I hope I am very stupid, and that it will take me a long time to
+learn," said I.
+
+"Oh"--she laughed--"do you think it will be so pleasant sitting by me
+here? I am glad you think that; but if you prefer me for a teacher you
+must not try to be stupid, because if you do I shall ask some one else
+to take my place."
+
+"Would you really do that, Yoletta?"
+
+"Yes. Shall I tell you why? Because I have a quick, impatient temper.
+Everything wrong I have ever done, for which I have been punished, has
+been through my hasty temper."
+
+"And have you ever undergone that sad punishment of being shut up by
+yourself for many days, Yoletta?"
+
+"Yes, often; for what other punishment is there? But oh, I hope it will
+never happen again, because I think--I know that I suffer more than any
+one can imagine. To tread on the grass, to feel the sun and wind on my
+face, to see the earth and sky and animals--this is like life to me; and
+when I am shut up alone, every day seems--oh, a year at least!" She did
+not know how much dearer this confession of one little human weakness
+made her seem to me. "Come, let us begin," she said. "I waited for your
+new clothes to be finished, and we must make up for lost time."
+
+"But do you know, Yoletta, that you have not said anything about them?
+Do I look nice; and will you like me any better now?"
+
+"Yes, much better. You were a poor caterpillar before; I liked you a
+little because I knew what a pretty butterfly you would be in time. I
+helped to make your wings. Now, listen."
+
+For two hours she taught me, making her red letters or marks, which I
+copied on my tablet, and explaining them to me; and at the conclusion of
+the lesson, I had got a general idea that the writing was to a great
+extent phonographic, and that I was in for rather a tough job.
+
+"Do you think that you will be able to teach me to sing also?" I asked,
+when she had put the tablets aside.
+
+The memory of that miserable failure, when I "had led the singing," was
+a constant sore in my mind. I had begun to think that I had not done
+myself justice on that memorable occasion, and the desire to make
+another trial under more favorable circumstances was very strong in me.
+
+She looked a little startled at my question, but said nothing.
+
+"I know now," I continued pleadingly, "that you all sing softly. If you
+will only consent to try me once I promise to stick like cobbler's
+wax--I beg your pardon, I mean I will endeavor to adhere to the morendo
+and perdendosi style--don't you know? What am I saying! But I promise
+you, Yoletta, I shan't frighten you, if you will only let me try and
+sing to you once."
+
+She turned from me with a somewhat clouded expression of face, and
+walked with slow steps to the dais, and placing her hands on the keys,
+caused two of the small globes to revolve, sending soft waves of sound
+through the room.
+
+I advanced towards her, but she raised her hand apprehensively. "No, no,
+no; stand there," she said, "and sing low."
+
+It was hard to see her troubled face and obey, but I was not going to
+bellow at her like a bull, and I had set my heart on this trial. For the
+last three days, while working in the fields, I had been incessantly
+practicing my dear old master Campana's exquisite _M'appar sulla
+tomba_, the only melody I happened to know which had any resemblance
+to their divine music. To my surprise she seemed to play as I sang a
+suitable accompaniment on the globes, which aided and encouraged me,
+and, although singing in a subdued tone, I felt that I had never sung so
+well before. When I finished, I quite expected some word of praise, or
+to be asked why I had not sung this melody on that unhappy evening when
+I was asked to lead; but she spoke no word.
+
+"Will you sing something now?" I said.
+
+"Not now--this evening," she replied absently, slowly walking across the
+floor with eyes cast down.
+
+"What are you thinking of, Yoletta, that you look so serious?" I asked.
+
+"Nothing," she returned, a little impatiently.
+
+"You look very solemn about nothing, then. But you have not said one
+word about my singing--did you not like it?"
+
+"Your singing? Oh no! It was a pleasant-tasting little kernel in a very
+rough rind--I should like one without the other."
+
+"You talk in riddles, Yoletta; but I'm afraid the answers to them would
+not sound very flattering to me. But if you would like to know the song
+I shall be only too glad to teach it to you. The words are in Italian,
+but I can translate them."
+
+"The words?" she said absently.
+
+"The words of the song," I said.
+
+"I do not know what you mean by the words of a song. Do not speak to me
+now, Smith."
+
+"Oh, very well," said I, thinking it all very strange, and sitting down
+I divided my attention between my beautiful hose and Yoletta, still
+slowly pacing the floor with that absent look on her face.
+
+At length the curious mood changed, but I did not venture to talk any
+more about music, and before very long we repaired to the eating-room,
+where, for the next two or three hours, we occupied ourselves very
+agreeably with those processes which, some new theorist informs us,
+constitute our chief pleasure in life.
+
+That evening I overheard a curious little dialogue. The father of the
+house, as I had now grown accustomed to call our head, after rising from
+his seat, stood for a few minutes talking near me, while Yoletta, with
+her hand on his arm, waited for him to finish. When he had done
+speaking, and turned to her, she said in a low voice, which I, however,
+overheard: "Father, I shall lead to-night."
+
+He put his hand on her head, and, looking down, studied her upturned
+face. "Ah, my daughter," he said with a smile, "shall I guess what has
+inspired you to-day? You have been listening to the passage birds. I
+also heard them this morning passing in flocks. And you have been
+following them in thought far away into those sun-bright lands where
+winter never comes."
+
+"No, father," she returned, "I have only been a little way from home in
+thought--only to that spot where the grass has not yet grown to hide the
+ashes and loose mold." He stooped and kissed her forehead, and then left
+the room; and she, never noticing the hungry look with which I witnessed
+the tender caress, also went away.
+
+That some person was supposed to lead the singing every evening I knew,
+but it was impossible for me ever to discover who the leader was; now,
+however, after overhearing this conversation, I knew that on this
+particular occasion it would be Yoletta, and in spite of the very poor
+opinion she had expressed of my musical abilities, I was prepared to
+admire the performance more than I had ever done before.
+
+It commenced in the usual mysterious and indefinable manner; but after
+a time, when it began to shape itself into melodies, the idea possessed
+me that I was listening to strains once familiar, but long unheard and
+forgotten. At length I discovered that this was Campana's music, only
+not as I had ever heard it sung; for the melody of _M'appar sulla
+tomba_ had been so transmuted and etherealized, as it were, that the
+composer himself would have listened in wondering ecstasy to the
+mournful strains, which had passed through the alembic of their more
+delicately organized minds. Listening, I remembered with an
+unaccountable feeling of sadness, that poor Campana had recently died in
+London; and almost at the same moment there came to me a remembrance of
+my beloved mother, whose early death was my first great grief in
+boyhood. All the songs I had ever heard her sing came back to me,
+ringing in my mind with a wonderful joy, but ever ending in a strange,
+funereal sadness. And not only my mother, but many a dear one besides
+returned "in beauty from the dust" appeared to be present--white-haired
+old men who had spoken treasured words to me in bygone years;
+schoolfellows and other boyish friends and companions; and men, too, in
+the prime of life, of whose premature death in this or that far-off
+region of the world-wide English empire I had heard from time to time.
+They came back to me, until the whole room seemed filled with a pale,
+shadowy procession, moving past me to the sound of that mysterious
+melody. Through all the evening it came back, in a hundred bewildering
+disguises, filling me with a melancholy infinitely precious, which was
+yet almost more than my heart could bear. Again and yet again that
+despairing _Ah-i-me_ fell like a long shuddering sob from the
+revolving globes, and from voices far and near, to be taken up and borne
+yet further away by far-off, dying sounds, yet again responded to by
+nearer, clearer voices, in tones which seemed wrung "from the depths of
+some divine despair"; then to pass away, but not wholly pass, for all
+the hidden cells were stirred, and the vibrating air, like mysterious,
+invisible hands, swept the suspended strings, until the exquisite bliss
+and pain of it made me tremble and shed tears, as I sat there in the
+dark, wondering, as men will wonder at such moments, what this tempest
+of the soul which music wakes in us can mean: whether it is merely a
+growth of this our earth-life, or a something added, a divine hunger of
+the heart which is part of our immortality.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 11
+
+It seemed to me now that I had never really lived before so sweet was
+this new life--so healthy, and free from care and regret. The old life,
+which I had lived in cities, was less in my thoughts on each succeeding
+day; it came to me now like the memory of a repulsive dream, which I was
+only too glad to forget. How I had ever found that listless, worn-out,
+luxurious, do-nothing existence endurable, seemed a greater mystery
+every morning, when I went forth to my appointed task in the fields or
+the workhouse, so natural and so pleasant did it now seem to labor with
+my own hands, and to eat my bread in the sweat of my face. If there was
+one kind of work I preferred above all others, it was wood-cutting, and
+as a great deal of timber was required at this season, I was allowed to
+follow my own inclination. In the forest, a couple of miles from the
+house, several tough old giants--chiefly oak, chestnut, elm, and
+beech--had been marked out for destruction: in some cases because they
+had been scorched and riven by lightnings, and were an eyesore; in
+others, because time had robbed them of their glory, withering their
+long, desolate arms, and bestowing on their crowns that lusterless,
+scanty foliage which has a mournful meaning, like the thin white hairs
+on the bowed head of a very old man. At this distance from the house I
+could freely indulge my propensity for singing, albeit in that coarser
+tone which had failed to win favor with my new friends.
+
+Among the grand trees, out of earshot of them all, I could shout aloud
+to my heart's content, rejoicing in the boisterous old English ballads,
+which, like John Peele's view-hallo,
+
+  _"Might awaken the dead
+  Or the fox from his lair in the morning."_
+
+
+Meanwhile, with the frantic energy of a Gladstone out of office, I plied
+my ax, its echoing strokes making fit accompaniment to my strains, until
+for many yards about me the ground was littered with white and yellow
+chips; then, exhausted with my efforts, I would sit down to rest and eat
+my simple midday fare, to admire myself in my deep-green and chocolate
+working-dress, and, above everything, to think and dream of Yoletta.
+
+* * * * *
+
+In my walks to and from the forest I cast many a wistful look at a
+solitary flat-topped hill, almost a mountain in height, which stood two
+or three miles from the house, north of it, on the other side of the
+river. From its summit I felt sure that a very extensive view of the
+surrounding country might be had, and I often wished to pay this hill a
+visit. One afternoon, while taking my lesson in reading, I mentioned
+this desire to Yoletta.
+
+"Come, then, let us go there now," said she, laying the tablets aside.
+
+I joyfully agreed: I had never walked alone with her, nor, in fact, with
+her at all, since that first day when she had placed her hand in mine;
+and now we were so much nearer in heart to each other.
+
+She led me to a point, half a mile from the house, where the stream
+rushed noisily over its stony bed and formed numerous deep channels
+between the rocks, and one could cross over by jumping from rock to
+rock. Yoletta led the way, leaping airily from stone to stone, while I,
+anxious to escape a wetting, followed her with caution; but when I was
+safe over, and thought our delightful walk was about to begin, she
+suddenly started off towards the hill at a swift pace, which quickly
+left me far behind. Finding that I could not overtake her, I shouted to
+her to wait for me; then she stood still until I was within three or
+four yards Of her, when off she fled like the wind once more. At length
+she reached the foot of the hill, and sat down there until I joined her.
+
+"For goodness sake, Yoletta, let us behave like rational beings and walk
+quietly," I was beginning, when away she went again, dancing up the
+mountain-side with a tireless energy that amazed as well as exasperated
+me. "Wait for me just once more," I screamed after her; then, half-way
+up the side, she stopped and sat down on a stone.
+
+"Now my chance has come," thought I, ready to make up for insufficient
+speed and wind by superior cunning, which would make us equal. "I will
+go quietly up and catch her napping, and hold her fast by the arm until
+the walk is finished. So far it has been nothing but a mad chase."
+
+Slowly I toiled on, and then, when I got near her and was just about to
+execute my plan, she started nimbly away, with a merry laugh, and never
+paused again until the summit was reached. Thoroughly tired and beaten,
+I sat down to rest; but presently looking up I saw her at the top,
+standing motionless on a stone, looking like a statue outlined against
+the clear blue sky. Once more I got up and pressed on until I reached
+her, and then sank down on the grass, overcome with fatigue.
+
+"When you ask me to walk again, Yoletta," I panted, "I shall not move
+unless I have a rope round your waist to pull you back when you try to
+rush off in that mad fashion. You have knocked all the wind out of me;
+and yet I was in pretty good trim."
+
+She laughed, and jumping to the ground, sat down at my side on the
+grass.
+
+I caught her hand and held it tight. "Now you shall not escape and run
+away again," said I.
+
+"You may keep my hand," she replied; "it has nothing to do up here."
+
+"May I put it to some useful purpose--may I do what I like with it?"
+
+"Yes, you may," then she added with a smile: "There is no thorn in it
+now."
+
+I kissed it many times on the back, the palm, the wrist then bestowed a
+separate caress on each finger-tip.
+
+"Why do you kiss my hand?" she asked.
+
+"Do you not know--can you not guess? Because it is the sweetest thing I
+can kiss, except one other thing. Shall I tell you----"
+
+"My face? And why do you not kiss that?"
+
+"Oh, may I?" said I, and drawing her to me I kissed her soft cheek. "May
+I kiss the other cheek now?" I asked. She turned it to me, and when I
+had kissed it rapturously, I gazed into her eyes, which looked back,
+bright and unabashed, into mine. "I think--I think I made a slight
+mistake, Yoletta," I said. "What I meant to ask was, will you let me
+kiss you where I like--on your chin, for instance, or just where I
+like?"
+
+"Yes; but you are keeping me too long. Kiss me as many times as you
+like, and then let us admire the prospect."
+
+I drew her closer and kissed her mouth, not once nor twice, but clinging
+to it with all the ardor of passion, as if my lips had become glued to
+hers.
+
+Suddenly she disengaged herself from me. "Why do you kiss my mouth in
+that violent way?" she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling, her cheeks
+flushed. "You seem like some hungry animal that wanted to devour me."
+
+That was, oddly enough, just how I felt. "Do you not not know, sweetest,
+why I kiss you in that way? Because I love you."
+
+"I know you do, Smith. I can understand and appreciate your love without
+having my lips bruised."
+
+"And do you love me, Yoletta?"
+
+"Yes, certainly--did you not know that?"
+
+"And is it not sweet to kiss when you love? Do you know what love is,
+darling? Do you love me a thousand times more than any one else in the
+world?"
+
+"How extravagantly you talk!" she replied. "What strange things you
+say!"
+
+"Yes, dear, because love is strange--the strangest, sweetest thing in
+life. It comes once only to the heart, and the one person loved is
+infinitely more than all others. Do you not understand that?"
+
+"Oh no; what do you mean, Smith?"
+
+"Is there any other person dearer to your heart than I am?"
+
+"I love every one in the house, some more than others. Those that are
+closely related to me I love most."
+
+"Oh, please say no more! You love your people with one kind of love, but
+me with a different love--is it not so?"
+
+"There is only one kind of love," said she.
+
+"Ah, you say that because you are a child yet, and do not know. You are
+even younger than I thought, perhaps. How old are you, dear?"
+
+"Thirty-one years old," she replied, with the utmost gravity.
+
+"Oh, Yoletta, what an awful cram! I mean--oh, I beg your pardon for
+being so rude! But--but don't you think you can draw it mild?
+Thirty-one--what a joke! Why, I'm an old fellow compared with you, and
+I'm not twenty-two yet. Do tell me what you mean, Yoletta?"
+
+She was not listening to me, I saw: she had risen from the grass and
+seated herself again on the stone. For only answer to my question she
+pointed to the west with her hand, saying: "Look there, Smith."
+
+I stood up and looked. The sun was near the horizon now, and partially
+concealed by low clouds, which were beginning to form--gray, and tinged
+with purple and red; but their misty edges burned with an intense yellow
+flame. Above, the sky was clear as blue glass, barred with pale-yellow
+rays, shot forth by the sinking sun, and resembling the spokes of an
+immense celestial wheel reaching to the zenith. The billowy earth, with
+its forests in deep green and many-colored, autumnal foliage, stretched
+far before us, here in shadow, and there flushed with rich light; while
+the mountain range, looming near and stupendous on our right, had
+changed its color from dark blue to violet.
+
+The doubts and fears agitating my heart made me indifferent to the
+surpassing beauty of the scene: I turned impatiently from it to gaze
+again on her graceful figure, girlish still in its slim proportions; but
+her face, flushed with sunlight, and crowned with its dark, shining
+hair, seemed to me like the face of one of the immortals. The expression
+of rapt devotion on it made me silent, for it seemed as if she too had
+been touched by nature's magic, like earth and sky, and been
+transfigured; and waiting for the mood to pass, I stood by her side,
+resting my hand on her knee. By-and-by she looked down and smiled, and
+then I returned to the subject of her age.
+
+"Surely, Yoletta," said I, "you were only poking fun at me--I mean,
+amusing yourself at my expense. You can't possibly be more than about
+fifteen, or sixteen at the very outside."
+
+She smiled again and shook her head.
+
+"Oh, I know, I can solve the riddle now. Your years are different, of
+course, like everything else in this latitude. A month is called a year
+with you, and that would make you, let me see--how much is twelve times
+thirty-one? Oh, hang it, nearly five hundred, I should think. Why am I
+such a duffer at mental arithmetic! It is just the contrary--how many
+twelves in thirty-one? About two and a half in round numbers, and that's
+absurd, as you are not a baby. Oh, I have it: your seasons are called
+years, of course--why didn't I see it before! No, that would make you
+only seven and a half. Ah, yes, I see it now: a year means two years, or
+two of your years--summer and winter--mean a year; and that just makes
+you sixteen, exactly what I had imagined. Is it not so, Yoletta?"
+
+"I do not know what you are talking about, Smith; and I am not
+listening."
+
+"Well, listen for one moment, and tell me how long does a year last?"
+
+"It lasts from the time the leaves fall in the autumn until they fall
+again; and it lasts from the time the swallows come in spring until they
+come again."
+
+"And seriously, honestly, you are thirty-one years old?"
+
+"Did I not tell you so? Yes, I am thirty-one years old."
+
+"Well, I never heard anything to equal this! Good heavens, what does it
+mean? I know it is awfully rude to inquire a lady's age, but what am I
+to do? Will you kindly tell me Edra's age?"
+
+"Edra? I forget. Oh yes; she is sixty-three."
+
+"Sixty-three! I'll be shot if she's a day more than twenty-eight! Idiot
+that I am, why can't I keep calm! But, Yoletta, how you distress me! It
+almost frightens me to ask another question, but do tell me how old your
+father is?"
+
+"He is nearly two hundred years old--a hundred and ninety-eight, I
+think," she replied.
+
+"Heavens on earth--I shall go stark, staring mad!" But I could say no
+more; leaving her side I sat down on a low stone at some distance, with
+a stunned feeling in my brain, and something like despair in my heart.
+That she had told me the truth I could no longer doubt for one moment:
+it was impossible for her crystal nature to be anything but truthful.
+The number of her years mattered nothing to me; the virgin sweetness of
+girlhood was on her lips, the freshness and glory of early youth on her
+forehead; the misery was that she had lived thirty-one years in the
+world and did not understand the words I had spoken to her--did not know
+what love, or passion, was! Would it always be so--would my heart
+consume itself to ashes, and kindle no fire in hers?
+
+Then, as I sat there, filled with these despairing thoughts, she came
+down from her perch, and, dropping on her knees before me, put her arms
+about my neck and gazed steadily into my face. "Why are you troubled,
+Smith-have I said anything to hurt you?" said she. "And do you not know
+that you have offended me?"
+
+"Have I? Tell me how, dearest Yoletta."
+
+"By asking questions, and saying wild, meaningless things while I sat
+there watching the setting sun. It troubled me and spoiled my pleasure;
+but I will forgive you, Smith, because I love you. Do you not think I
+love you enough? You are very dear to me--dearer every day." And drawing
+down my face she kissed my lips.
+
+"Darling, you make me happy again," I returned, "for if your love
+increases every day, the time will perhaps come when you will understand
+me, and be all I wish to me."
+
+"What is it that you wish?" she questioned.
+
+"That you should be mine--mine alone, wholly mine--and give yourself to
+me, body and soul."
+
+She continued gazing up into my eyes. "In a sense we do, I suppose, give
+ourselves, body and soul, to those we love," she said. "And if you are
+not yet satisfied that I have given myself to you in that way, you must
+wait patiently, saying and doing nothing willfully to alienate my heart,
+until the time arrives when my love will be equal to your desire. Come,"
+she added, and, rising, pulled me up by the hand.
+
+Silently, and somewhat pensively, we started hand in hand on our walk
+down the hill. Presently she dropped on her knees, and opening the grass
+with her hands, displayed a small, slender bud, on a round, smooth stem,
+springing without leaves from the soil. "Do you see!" she said, looking
+up at me with a bright smile.
+
+"Yes, dear, I see a bud; but I do not know anything more about it."
+
+"Oh, Smith, do you not know that it is a rainbow lily!" And rising, she
+took my hand and walked on again.
+
+"What is the rainbow lily?"
+
+"By-and-by, in a few days, it will be in fullest bloom, and the earth
+will be covered with its glory."
+
+"It is so late in the season, Yoletta! Spring is the time to see the
+earth covered with the glory of flowers."
+
+"There is nothing to equal the rainbow lily, which comes when most
+flowers are dead, or have their bright colors tarnished. Have you lived
+in the moon, Smith, that I have to tell you these things?"
+
+"No, dear, but in that island where all things, including flowers, were
+different."
+
+"Ah, yes; tell me about the island."
+
+Now "that island" was an unfortunate subject, and I was not prepared to
+break the resolution I had made of prudently holding my tongue about its
+peculiar institutions. "How can I tell you?--how could you imagine it if
+I were to tell you?" I said, evading the question. "You have seen the
+heavens black with tempests, and have felt the lightnings blinding your
+eyes, and have heard the crash of the thunder: could you imagine all
+that if you had never witnessed it, and I described it to you?"
+
+"No."
+
+"Then it would be useless to tell you. And now tell me about the rainbow
+lilies, for I am a great lover of flowers."
+
+"Are you? Is it strange you should have a taste common to all human
+beings?" she returned with a pretty smile. "But it is easier to ask
+questions than to answer them. If you had never seen the sun setting in
+glory, or the midnight sky shining with myriads of stars, could you
+imagine these things if I described them to you?"
+
+"No."
+
+"That word is an echo, Smith. You must wait for the earth to bring forth
+her rainbow lilies, and the heart its love."
+
+"With or without flowers, the world is a paradise to me, with you at my
+side, Yoletta. Ah, if you will be my Eve! How sweet it is to walk hand
+in hand with you in the twilight; but it was not so nice when you were
+scuttling from me like a wild rabbit. I'm glad to find that you do walk
+sometimes."
+
+"Yes, sometimes--on solemn occasions."
+
+"Yes? Tell me about these solemn occasions."
+
+"This is not one of them," she replied, suddenly withdrawing her hand
+from mine; then with a ringing laugh, she sped from me, bounding down
+the hill-side with the speed and grace of a gazelle.
+
+I instantly gave chase; but it was a very vain chase, although I put
+forth all my powers. Occasionally she would drop on her knees to admire
+some wild flower, or search for a lily bud; and whenever she came to a
+large stone, she would spring on to it, and stand for some time
+motionless, gazing at the rich hues of the afterglow; but always at my
+approach she would spring lightly away, escaping from me as easily as a
+wild bird. Tired with running, I at last gave up the hunt, and walked
+soberly home by myself, wondering whether that conversation on the
+summit of the hill, and all the curious information I had gathered from
+it, should make me the most miserable or the most happy being upon
+earth.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 12
+
+The question whether I had reason to feel happy or the reverse still
+occupied me after going to bed, and kept me awake far into the night. I
+put it to myself in a variety of ways, concentrating my faculties on it;
+but the result still remained doubtful. Mine was a curious position for
+a man to be in; for here was I, very much in love with Yoletta, who said
+that her age was thirty-one, and yet who knew of only one kind of
+love--that sisterly affection which she gave me so unstintingly. Of
+course I was surrounded with mysteries, being in the house but not of
+it, to the manner born; and I had already arrived at the conclusion that
+these mysteries could only be known to me through reading, once that
+accomplishment was mine. For it seemed rather a dangerous thing to ask
+questions, since the most innocent interrogatory might be taken as an
+offense, only to be expiated by solitary confinement and a
+bread-and-water diet; or, if not punishable in that way, it would
+probably be regarded as a result of the supposed collision of my head
+with a stone. To be reticent, observant, and studious was a safe plan;
+this had served to make me diligent and attentive with my lessons, and
+my gentle teacher had been much pleased with the progress I had made,
+even in a few days. Her words on the hill had now, however, filled me
+with anxiety, and I wanted to go a little below the surface of this
+strange system of life. Why was this large family--twenty-two members
+present, besides some absent pilgrims, as they are called--composed only
+of adults? Again, more curious still, why was the father of the house
+adorned with a majestic beard, while the other men, of various ages, had
+smooth faces, or, at any rate, nothing more than a slight down on the
+upper lip and cheeks? It was plain that they never shaved. And were
+these people all really brothers and sisters? So far, I had been unable,
+even with the most jealous watching, to detect anything like love-making
+or flirting; they all treated each other, as Yoletta treated me, with
+kindness and affection, and nothing more. And if the head of the house
+was in fact the father of them all--since in two centuries a man might
+have an indefinite number of children--who was the mother or mothers? I
+was never good at guessing, but the result of my cogitations was one
+happy idea--to ask Yoletta whether she had a living mother or not? She
+was my teacher, my friend and guardian in the house, and if it should
+turn out that the question was an unfortunate one, an offense, she would
+be readier to forgive than another.
+
+Accordingly, next day, as soon as we were alone together I put the
+question to her, although not without a nervous qualm.
+
+She looked at me with the greatest surprise. "Do you mean to say," she
+answered, "that you do not know I have a mother--that there is a mother
+of the house?"
+
+"How should I know, Yoletta?" I returned. "I have not heard you address
+any one as mother; besides, how is one to know anything in a strange
+place unless he is told?"
+
+"How strange, then, that you never asked till now! There is a mother of
+the house--the mother of us all, of you since you were made one of us;
+and it happens, too, that I am her daughter--her only child. You have
+not seen her because you have never asked to be taken to her; and she is
+not among us because of her illness. For very long she has been
+afflicted with a malady from which she cannot recover, and for a whole
+year she has not left the Mother's Room."
+
+She spoke with eyes cast down, in a low and very sad voice. It was only
+too plain now that in my ignorance I had been guilty of a grave breach
+of the etiquette or laws of the house; and anxious to repair my fault,
+also to know more of the one female in this mysterious community who had
+loved, or at all events had known marriage, I asked if I might see her.
+
+"Yes," she answered, after some hesitation, still standing with eyes
+cast down. Then suddenly, bursting into tears, she exclaimed: "Oh,
+Smith, how could you be in the world and not know that there is a mother
+in every house! How could you travel and not know that when you enter a
+house, after greeting the father, you first of all ask to be taken to
+the mother to worship her and feel her hand on your head? Did you not
+see that we were astonished and grieved at your silence when you came,
+and we waited in vain for you to speak?"
+
+I was dumb with shame at her words. How well I remembered that first
+evening in the house, when I could not but see that something was
+expected of me, yet never ventured to ask for enlightment!
+
+Presently, recovering from her tears, she went from the room, and, left
+alone, I was more than ever filled with wonder at what she had told me.
+I had not imagined that she had come into the world without a mother;
+nevertheless, the fact that this passionless girl, who had told me that
+there was only one kind of love, was the daughter of a woman actually
+living in the house, of whose existence I had never before heard, except
+in an indirect way which I failed to understand, seemed like a dream to
+me. Now I was about to see this hidden woman, and the interview would
+reveal something to me, for I would discover in her face and
+conversation whether she was in the same mystic state of mind as the
+others, which made them seem like the dwellers in some better place than
+this poor old sinful, sorrowful world. My wishes, however, were not to
+be gratified, for presently Yoletta returned and said that her mother
+did not desire to see me then. She looked so distressed when she told me
+this, putting her white arms about my neck as if to console me for my
+disappointment, that I refrained from pressing her with questions, and
+for several days nothing more was spoken between us on the subject.
+
+At length, one day when our lesson was over, with an expression of
+mingled pleasure and anxiety on her face, she rose and took my hand,
+saying, "Come."
+
+I knew she was going to take me to her mother, and rose to obey her
+gladly, for since the conversation I had had with her the desire to know
+the lady of the house had given me no peace.
+
+Leaving the music room, we entered another apartment, of the same
+nave-like form, but vaster, or, at all events, considerably longer.
+There I started and stood still, amazed at the scene before me. The
+light, which found entrance through tall, narrow windows, was dim, but
+sufficient to show the whole room with everything in it, ending at the
+further extremity at a flight of broad stone steps. The middle part of
+the floor, running the entire length of the apartment, was about twenty
+feet wide, but on either side of this passage, which was covered with
+mosaic, the floor was raised; and on this higher level I saw, as I
+imagined, a great company of men and women, singly and in groups,
+standing or seated on great stone chairs in various positions and
+attitudes. Presently I perceived that these were not living beings, but
+life-like effigies of stone, the drapery they were represented as
+wearing being of many different richly-colored stones, having the
+appearance of real garments. So natural did the hair look, that only
+when I ascended the steps and touched the head of one of the statues was
+I convinced that it was also of stone. Even more wonderful in their
+resemblance to life were the eyes, which seemed to return my
+half-fearful glances with a calm, questioning scrutiny I found it hard
+to endure. I hurried on after my guide without speaking, but when I got
+to the middle of the room I paused involuntarily once more, so
+profoundly did one of the statues impress me. It was of a woman of a
+majestic figure and proud, beautiful face, with an abundance of
+silvery-white hair. She sat bending forward with her eyes fixed on mine
+as I advanced, one hand pressed to her bosom, while with the other she
+seemed in the act of throwing back her white unbound tresses from her
+forehead. There was, I thought, a look of calm, unbending pride on the
+face, but on coming closer this expression disappeared, giving place to
+one so wistful and pleading, so charged with subtle pain, that I stood
+gazing like one fascinated, until Yoletta took my hand and gently drew
+me away. Still, in spite of the absorbing nature of the matter on which
+I was bound, that strange face continued to haunt me, and glancing up
+and down through that long array of calm-browed, beautiful women, I
+could see no one that was like it.
+
+Arrived at the end of the gallery, we ascended the broad stone steps,
+and came to a landing twenty or thirty feet above the level of the floor
+we had traversed. Here Yoletta pushed a glass door aside and ushered me
+into another apartment--the Mother's Room. It was spacious, and, unlike
+the gallery, well-lighted; the air in it was also warm and balmy, and
+seemed charged with a subtle aroma. But now my whole attention was
+concentrated on a group of persons before me, and chiefly on its central
+figure--the woman I had so much desired to see. She was seated, leaning
+back in a somewhat listless attitude, on a very large, low, couch-like
+seat, covered with a soft, violet-colored material. My very first glance
+at her face revealed to me that she differed in appearance and
+expression from other inmates of the house: one reason was that she was
+extremely pale, and bore on her worn countenance the impress of
+long-continued suffering; but that was not all. She wore her hair, which
+fell unbound on her shoulders, longer than the others, and her eyes
+looked larger, and of a deeper green. There was something wonderfully
+fascinating to me in that pale, suffering face, for, in spite of
+suffering, it was beautiful and loving; but dearer than all these things
+to my mind were the marks of passion it exhibited, the petulant, almost
+scornful mouth, and the half-eager, half-weary expression of the eyes,
+for these seemed rather to belong to that imperfect world from which I
+had been severed, and which was still dear to my unregenerate heart. In
+other respects also she differed from the rest of the women, her dress
+being a long, pale-blue robe, embroidered with saffron-colored flowers
+and foliage down the middle, and also on the neck and the wide sleeves.
+On the couch at her side sat the father of the house, holding her hand
+and talking in low tones to her; two of the young women sat at her feet
+on cushions, engaged on embroidery work, while another stood behind her;
+one of the young men was also there, and was just now showing her a
+sketch, and apparently explaining something in it.
+
+I had expected to find a sick, feeble lady, in a dimly-lighted chamber,
+with perhaps one attendant at her side; now, coming so unexpectedly
+before this proud-looking, beautiful woman, with so many about her, I
+was completely abashed, and, feeling too confused to say anything, stood
+silent and awkward in her presence.
+
+"This is our stranger, Chastel," said the old man to her, at the same
+time bestowing an encouraging look on me.
+
+She turned from the sketch she had been studying, and raising herself
+slightly from her half-recumbent attitude, fixed her dark eyes on me
+with some interest.
+
+"I do not see why you were so much impressed," she remarked after a
+while. "There is nothing very strange in him after all."
+
+I felt my face grow hot with shame and anger, for she seemed to look on
+me and speak of me--not to me--as if I had been some strange, semi-human
+creature, discovered in the woods, and brought in as a great curiosity.
+
+"No; it was not his countenance, only his curious garments and his words
+that astonished us," said the father in reply.
+
+She made no answer to this, but presently, addressing me directly, said:
+"You were a long time in the house before you expressed a wish to see
+me."
+
+I found my speech then--a wretched, hesitating speech, for which I hated
+myself--and replied, that I had asked to be allowed to see her as soon
+as I had been informed of her existence.
+
+She turned on the father a look of surprise and inquiry.
+
+"You must remember, Chastel," said he, "that he comes to us from some
+strange, distant island, having customs different from ours--a thing I
+had never heard of before. I can give you no other explanation."
+
+Her lip curled, and then, turning to me, she continued: "If there are
+houses in your island without mothers in them, it is not so elsewhere in
+the world. That you went out to travel so poorly provided with knowledge
+is a marvel to us; and as I have had the pain of telling you this, I
+must regret that you ever left your own home."
+
+I could make no reply to these words, which fell on me like
+whip-strokes; and looking at the other faces, I could see no sympathy in
+them for me; as they looked at her--their mother--and listened to her
+words, the expression they wore was love and devotion to her only,
+reminding me a little of the angel faces on Guide's canvas of the
+"Coronation of the Virgin."
+
+"Go now," she presently added in a petulant tone; "I am tired, and wish
+to rest"; and Yoletta, who had been standing silently by me all the
+time, took my hand and led me from the room.
+
+With eyes cast down I passed through the gallery, paying no attention to
+its strange, stony occupants; and leaving my gentle conductress without
+a word at the door of the music-room, I hurried away from the house. For
+I could feel love and compassion in the touch of the dear girl's hand,
+and it seemed to me that if she had spoken one word, my overcharged
+heart would have found vent in tears. I only wished to be alone, to
+brood in secret on my pain and the bitterness of defeat; for it was
+plain that the woman I had so wished to see, and, since seeing her, so
+wished to be allowed to love, felt towards me nothing but contempt and
+aversion, and that from no fault of my own, she, whose friendship I most
+needed, was become my enemy in the house.
+
+My steps took me to the river. Following its banks for about a mile, I
+came at last to a grove of stately old trees, and there I seated myself
+on a large twisted root projecting over the water. To this sequestered
+spot I had come to indulge my resentful feelings; for here I could speak
+out my bitterness aloud, if I felt so minded, where there were no
+witnesses to hear me. I had restrained those unmanly tears, so nearly
+shed in Yoletta's presence, and kept back by dark thoughts on the way;
+now I was sitting quietly by myself, safe from observation, safe even
+from that sympathy my bruised spirit could not suffer.
+
+Scarcely had I seated myself before a great brown animal, with black
+eyes, round and fierce, rose to the surface of the stream half a dozen
+yards from my feet; then quickly catching sight of me, it plunged
+noisily again under water, breaking the clear image reflected there with
+a hundred ripples. I waited for the last wavelet to fade away, but when
+the surface was once more still and smooth as dark glass, I began to be
+affected by the profounded silence and melancholy of nature, and by a
+something proceeding from nature--phantom, emanation, essence, I know
+not what. My soul, not my sense, perceived it, standing with finger on
+lips, there, close to me; its feet resting on the motionless water,
+which gave no reflection of its image, the clear amber sunlight passing
+undimmed through its substance. To my soul its spoken "Hush!" was
+audible, and again, and yet again, it said "Hush!" until the tumult in
+me was still, and I could not think my own thoughts. I could thereafter
+only listen, breathless, straining my senses to catch some natural
+sound, however faint. Far away in the dim distance, in some blue
+pasture, a cow was lowing, and the recurring sound passed me like the
+humming flight of an insect, then fainter still, like an imagined sound,
+until it ceased. A withered leaf fell from the tree-top; I heard it
+fluttering downwards, touching other leaves in its fall until the silent
+grass received it. Then, as I listened for another leaf, suddenly from
+overhead came the brief gushing melody of some late singer, a robin-like
+sound, ringing out clear and distinct as a flourish on a clarionet:
+brilliant, joyous, and unexpected, yet in keeping with that melancholy
+quiet, affecting the mind like a spray of gold and scarlet embroidery on
+a pale, neutral ground. The sun went down, and in setting, kindled the
+boles of the old trees here and there into pillars of red fire, while
+others in deeper shade looked by contrast like pillars of ebony; and
+wherever the foliage was thinnest, the level rays shining through
+imparted to the sere leaves a translucence and splendor that was like
+the stained glass in the windows of some darkening cathedral. All along
+the river a white mist began to rise, a slight wind sprang up and the
+vapor drifted, drowning the reeds and bushes, and wreathing its ghostly
+arms about the old trees: and watching the mist, and listening to the
+"hallowed airs and symphonies" whispered by the low wind, I felt that
+there was no longer any anger in my heart. Nature, and something in and
+yet more than nature, had imparted her "soft influences" and healed her
+"wandering and distempered child" until he could no more be a "jarring
+and discordant thing" in her sweet and sacred presence.
+
+When I looked up a change had come over the scene: the round, full moon
+had risen, silvering the mist, and filling the wide, dim earth with a
+new mysterious glory. I rose from my seat and returned to the house, and
+with that new insight and comprehension which had come to me--that
+_message_, as I could not but regard it--I now felt nothing but
+love and sympathy for the suffering woman who had wounded me with her
+unmerited displeasure, and my only desire was to show my devotion to
+her.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 13
+
+As I approached the building, soft strains floating far out into the
+night-air became audible, and I knew that the sweet spirit of music, to
+which they were all so devoted, was present with them. After listening
+for awhile in the shadow of the portico I went in, and, anxious to avoid
+disturbing the singers, stole away into a dusky corner, where I sat down
+by myself. Yoletta had, however, seen me enter, for presently she came
+to me.
+
+"Why did you not come in to supper, Smith?" she said. "And why do you
+look so sad?"
+
+"Do you need to ask, Yoletta? Ah, it would have made me so happy if I
+could have won your mother's affection! If she only knew how much I wish
+for it, and how much I sympathize with her! But she will never like me,
+and all I wished to say to her must be left unsaid."
+
+"No, not so," she said. "Come with me to her now: if you feel like that,
+she will be kind to you--how should it be otherwise?"
+
+I greatly feared that she advised me to take an imprudent step; but she
+was my guide, my teacher and friend in the house, and I resolved to do
+as she wished. There were no lights in the long gallery when we entered
+it again, only the white moonbeams coming through the tall windows here
+and there lit up a column or a group of statues, which threw long, black
+shadows on floor and Wall, giving the chamber a weird appearance. Once
+more, when I reached the middle of the room, I paused, for there before
+me, ever bending forward, sat that wonderful woman of stone, the
+moonlight streaming full on her pale, wistful face and silvery hair.
+
+"Tell me, Yoletta, who is this?" I whispered. "Is it a statue of some
+one who lived in this house?"
+
+"Yes; you can read about her in the history of the house, and in this
+inscription on the stone. She was a mother, and her name was Isarte."
+
+"But why has she that strange, haunting expression on her face? Was she
+unhappy?"
+
+"Oh, can you not see that she was unhappy! She endured many sorrows, and
+the crowning calamity of her life was the loss of seven loved sons. They
+were away in the mountains together, and did not return when expected:
+for many years she waited for tidings of them. It was conjectured that a
+great rock had fallen on and crushed them beneath it. Grief for her lost
+children made her hair white, and gave that expression to her face."
+
+"And when did this happen?"
+
+"Over two thousand years ago."
+
+"Oh, then it is a very old family tradition. But the statue--when was
+that made and placed here?"
+
+"She had it made and placed here herself. It was her wish that the grief
+she endured should be remembered in the house for all time, for no one
+had ever suffered like her; and the inscription, which she caused to be
+put on the stone, says that if there shall ever come to a mother in the
+house a sorrow exceeding hers, the statue shall be removed from its
+place and destroyed, and the fragments buried in the earth with all
+forgotten things, and the name of Isarte forgotten in the house."
+
+It oppressed my mind to think of so long a period of time during which
+that unutterably sad face had gazed down on so many generations of the
+living. "It is most strange!" I murmured. "But do you think it right,
+Yoletta, that the grief of one person should be perpetuated like that in
+the house; for who can look on this face without pain, even when it is
+remembered that the sorrow it expresses ended so many centuries ago?"
+
+"But she was a mother, Smith, do you not understand? It would not be
+right for us to wish to have our griefs remembered for ever, to cause
+sorrow to those who succeed us; but a mother is different: her wishes
+are sacred, and what she wills is right."
+
+Her words surprised me not a little, for I had heard of infallible men,
+but never of women; moreover, the woman I was now going to see was also
+a "mother in the house," a successor to this very Isarte. Fearing that I
+had touched on a dangerous topic, I said no more, and proceeding on our
+way, we soon reached the mother's room, the large glass door of which
+now stood wide open. In the pale light of the moon--for there was no
+other in the room--we found Chastel on the couch where I had seen her
+before, but she was lying extended at full length now, and had only one
+attendant with her.
+
+Yoletta approached her, and, stooping, touched her lips to the pale,
+still face. "Mother," she said, "I have brought Smith again; he is
+anxious to say something to you, if you will hear him."
+
+"Yes, I will hear him," she replied. "Let him sit near me; and now go
+back, for your voice is needed. And you may also leave me now," she
+added, addressing the other lady.
+
+The two then departed together, and I proceeded to seat myself on a
+cushion beside the couch.
+
+"What is it you wish to say to me?" she asked. The words were not very
+encouraging, but her voice sounded gentler now, and I at once began.
+"Hush," she said, before I had spoken two words. "Wait until this
+ends--I am listening to Yoletta's voice."
+
+Through the long, dusky gallery and the open doors soft strains of music
+were floating to us, and now, mingling with the others, a clearer,
+bell-like voice was heard, which soared to greater heights; but soon
+this ceased to be distinguishable, and then she sighed and addressed me
+again. "Where have you been all the evening, for you were not at
+supper?"
+
+"Did you know that?" I asked in surprise.
+
+"Yes, I know everything that passes in the house. Reading and work of
+all kinds are a pain and weariness. The only thing left to me is to
+listen to what others do or say, and to know all their comings and
+goings. My life is nothing now but a shadow of other people's lives."
+
+"Then," I said, "I must tell you how I spent the time after seeing you
+to-day; for I was alone, and no other person can say what I did. I went
+away along the river until I came to the grove of great trees on the
+bank, and there I sat until the moon rose, with my heart full of
+unspeakable pain and bitterness."
+
+"What made you have those feelings?"
+
+"When I heard of you, and saw you, my heart was drawn to you, and I
+wished above all things in the world to be allowed to love and serve
+you, and to have a share in your affection; but your looks and words
+expressed only contempt and dislike towards me. Would it not have been
+strange if I had not felt extremely unhappy?"
+
+"Oh," she replied, "now I can understand the reason of the surprise your
+words have often caused in the house! Your very feelings seem unlike
+ours. No other person would have experienced the feelings you speak of
+for such a cause. It is right to repent your faults, and to bear the
+burden of them quietly; but it is a sign of an undisciplined spirit to
+feel bitterness, and to wish to cast the blame of your suffering on
+another. You forget that I had reason to be deeply offended with you.
+You also forget my continual suffering, which sometimes makes me seem
+harsh and unkind against my will."
+
+"Your words seem only sweet and gracious now," I returned. "They have
+lifted a great weight from my heart, and I wish I could repay you for
+them by taking some portion of your suffering on myself."
+
+"It is right that you should have that feeling, but idle to express it,"
+she answered gravely. "If such wishes could be fulfilled my sufferings
+would have long ceased, since any one of my children would gladly lay
+down his life to procure me ease."
+
+To this speech, which sounded like another rebuke, I made no reply.
+
+"Oh, this is bitterness indeed--a bitterness you cannot know," she
+resumed after a while. "For you and for others there is always the
+refuge of death from continued sufferings: the brief pang of
+dissolution, bravely met, is nothing in comparison with a lingering
+agony like mine, with its long days and longer nights, extending to
+years, and that great blackness of the end ever before the mind. This
+only a mother can know, since the horror of utter darkness, and vain
+clinging to life, even when it has ceased to have any hope or joy in it,
+is the penalty she must pay for her higher state."
+
+I could not understand all her words, and only murmured in reply: "You
+are young to speak of death."
+
+"Yes, young; that is why it is so bitter to think of. In old age the
+feelings are not so keen." Then suddenly she put out her hands towards
+me, and, when I offered mine, caught my fingers with a nervous grasp and
+drew herself to a sitting position. "Ah, why must I be afflicted with a
+misery others have not known!" she exclaimed excitedly. "To be lifted
+above the others, when so young; to have one child only; then after so
+brief a period of happiness, to be smitten with barrenness, and this
+lingering malady ever gnawing like a canker at the roots of life! Who
+has suffered like me in the house? You only, Isarte, among the dead. I
+will go to you, for my grief is more than I can bear; and it may be that
+I shall find comfort even in speaking to the dead, and to a stone. Can
+you bear me in your arms?" she said, clasping me round the neck. "Take
+me up in your arms and carry me to Isarte."
+
+I knew what she meant, having so recently heard the story of Isarte, and
+in obedience to her command I raised her from the couch. She was tall,
+and heavier than I had expected, though so greatly emaciated; but the
+thought that she was Yoletta's mother, and the mother of the house,
+nerved me to my task, and cautiously moving step by step through the
+gloom, I carried her safely to that white-haired, moonlit woman of stone
+in the long gallery. When I had ascended the steps and brought her
+sufficiently near, she put her arms about the statue, and pressed its
+stony lips with hers.
+
+"Isarte, Isarte, how cold your lips are!" she murmured, in low,
+desponding tones. "Now, when I look into these eyes, which are yours,
+and yet not yours, and kiss these stony lips, how sorely does the hunger
+in my heart tempt me to sin! But suffering has not darkened my reason; I
+know it is an offense to ask anything of Him who gives us life and all
+good things freely, and has no pleasure in seeing us miserable. This
+thought restrains me; else I would cry to Him to turn this stone to
+flesh, and for one brief hour to bring back to it the vanished spirit of
+Isarte. For there is no one living that can understand my pain; but you
+would understand it, and put my tired head against your breast, and
+cover me with your grief-whitened hair as with a mantle. For your pain
+was like mine, and exceeded mine, and no soul could measure it,
+therefore in the hunger of your heart you looked far off into the
+future, where some one would perhaps have a like affliction, and suffer
+without hope, as you suffered, and measure your pain, and love your
+memory, and feel united with you, even over the gulf of long centuries
+of time. You would speak to me of it all, and tell me that the greatest
+grief was to go away into darkness, leaving no one with your blood and
+your spirit to inherit the house. This also is my grief, Isarte, for I
+am barren and eaten up by death, and must soon go away to be where you
+are. When I am gone, the father of the house will take no other one to
+his bosom, for he is old, and his life is nearly complete; and in a
+little while he will follow me, but with no pain and anguish like mine
+to cloud his serene spirit. And who will then inherit our place? Ah, my
+sister, how bitter to think of it! for then a stranger will be the
+mother of the house, and my one only child will sit at her feet, calling
+her mother, serving her with her hands, and loving and worshiping her
+with her heart!"
+
+The excitement had now burned itself out: she had dropped her head
+wearily on my shoulder, and bade me take her back. When I had safely
+deposited her on the couch again, she remained for some minutes with her
+face covered, silently weeping.
+
+The scene in the gallery had deeply affected me; now, however, while I
+sat by her, pondering over it, my mind reverted to that vanished world
+of sorrow and different social conditions in which I had lived, and
+where the lot of so many poor suffering souls seemed to me so much more
+desolate than that of this unhappy lady, who had, I imagined, much to
+console her. It even seemed to me that the grief I had witnessed was
+somewhat morbid and overstrained; and, thinking that it would perhaps
+divert her mind from brooding too much over her own troubles, I
+ventured, when she had grown calm again, to tell her some of my
+memories. I asked her to imagine a state of the world and the human
+family, in which all women were, in one sense, on an equality--all
+possessing the same capacity for suffering; and where all were, or would
+be, wives and mothers, and without any such mysterious remedy against
+lingering pain as she had spoken of. But I had not proceeded far with my
+picture before she interrupted me.
+
+"Do not say more," she said, with an accent of displeasure. "This, I
+suppose, is another of those grotesque fancies you sometimes give
+expression to, about which I heard a great deal when you first came to
+us. That all people should be equal, and all women wives and mothers
+seems to me a very disordered and a very repulsive idea The one
+consolation in my pain, the one glory of my life could not exist in such
+a state as that, and my condition would be pitiable indeed. All others
+would be equally miserable. The human race would multiply, until the
+fruits of the soil would be insufficient for its support; and earth
+would be filled with degenerate beings, starved in body and debased in
+mind--all clinging to an existence utterly without joy. Life is dark to
+me, but not to others: these are matters beyond you, and it is
+presumptuous in one of your condition to attempt to comfort me with idle
+fancies."
+
+After some moments of silence, she resumed: "The father has said to-day
+that you came to us from an island where even the customs of the people
+are different from ours; and perhaps one of their unhappy methods is to
+seek to medicine a real misery by imagining some impossible and
+immeasurably greater one. In no other way can I account for your strange
+words to me; for I cannot believe that any race exists so debased as
+actually to practice the things you speak of. Remember that I do not ask
+or desire to be informed. We have a different way; for although it is
+conceivable that present misery might be mitigated, or forgotten for a
+season, by giving up the soul to delusions, even by summoning before the
+mind repulsive and horrible images, that would be to put to an unlawful
+use, and to pervert, the brightest faculties our Father has given us:
+therefore we seek no other support in all sufferings and calamities but
+that of reason only. If you wish for my affection, you will not speak of
+such things again, but will endeavor to purify yourself from a mental
+vice, which may sometimes, in periods of suffering, give you a false
+comfort for a brief season, only to degrade you, and sink you later in a
+deeper misery. You must now leave me."
+
+This unexpected and sharp rebuke did not anger me, but it made me very
+sad; for I now perceived plainly enough that no great advantage would
+come to me from Chastel's acquaintance, since it was necessary to be so
+very circumspect with her. Deeply troubled, and in a somewhat confused
+state of mind, I rose to depart. Then she placed her thin, feverish
+white hand on mine. "You need not go away again," she said, "to indulge
+in bitter feelings by yourself because I have said this to you. You may
+come with the others to see me and talk to me whenever I am able to sit
+here and bear it. I shall not remember your offense, but shall be glad
+to know that there is another soul in the house to love and honor me."
+
+With such comfort as these words afforded I returned to the music-room,
+and, finding it empty, went out to the terrace, where the others were
+now strolling about in knots and couples, conversing and enjoying the
+lovely moonlight. Wandering a little distance away by myself, I sat down
+on a bench under a tree, and presently Yoletta came to me there, and
+closely scrutinized my face.
+
+"Have you nothing to tell me?" she asked. "Are you happier now?"
+
+"Yes, dearest, for I have been spoke to very kindly; and I should have
+been happier if only--" But I checked myself in time, and said no more
+to her about my conversation with the mother. To myself I said: "Oh,
+that island, that island! Why can't I forget its miserable customs, or,
+at any rate, stick to my own resolution to hold my tongue about them?"
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 14
+
+From that day I was frequently allowed to enter the Mother's Room, but,
+as I had feared, these visits failed to bring me into any closer
+relationship with the lady of the house. She had indeed forgotten my
+offense: I was one of her children, sharing equally with the others in
+her impartial affection, and privileged to sit at her feet to relate to
+her the incidents of the day, or describe all I had seen, and sometimes
+to touch her thin white hand with my lips. But the distance separating
+us was not forgotten. At the two first interviews she had taught me,
+once for all, that it was for me to love, honor, and serve her, and that
+anything beyond that--any attempt to win her confidence, to enter into
+her thoughts, or make her understand my feelings and aspirations--was
+regarded as pure presumption on my part. The result was that I was less
+happy than I had been before knowing her: my naturally buoyant and
+hopeful temper became tinged with melancholy, and that vision of
+exquisite bliss in the future, which had floated before me, luring me
+on, now began to look pale, and to seem further and further away.
+
+After my walk with Yoletta--if it can be called a walk--I began to look
+out for the rainbow lilies, and soon discovered that everywhere under
+the grass they were beginning to sprout from the soil. At first I found
+them in the moist valley of the river, but very soon they were equally
+abundant on the higher lands, and even on barren, stony places, where
+they appeared latest. I felt very curious about these flowers, of which
+Yoletta had spoken so enthusiastically, and watched the slow growth of
+the long, slender buds from day to day with considerable impatience. At
+length, in a moist hollow of the forest, I was delighted to find the
+full-blown flower. In shape it resembled a tulip, but was more open, and
+the color a most vivid orange yellow; it had a slight delicate perfume,
+and was very pretty, with a peculiar waxy gloss on the thick petals,
+still, I was rather disappointed, since the name of "rainbow lily," and
+Yoletta's words, had led me to expect a many-colored flower of
+surpassing beauty.
+
+I plucked the lily carefully, and was taking it home to present it to
+her, when all at once I remembered that only on one occasion had I seen
+flowers in her hand, and in the hands of the others, and that was when
+they were burying their dead. They never wore a flower, nor had I ever
+seen one in the house, not even in that room where Chastel was kept a
+prisoner by her malady, and where her greatest delight was to have
+nature in all its beauty and fragrance brought to her in the
+conversation of her children. The only flowers in the house were in
+their illuminations, and those wrought in metal and carved in wood, and
+the immortal, stony flowers of many brilliant hues in their mosaics. I
+began to fear that there was some superstition which made it seem wrong
+to them to gather flowers, except for funeral ceremonies, and afraid of
+offending from want of thought, I dropped the lily on the ground, and
+said nothing about it to any one.
+
+Then, before any more open lilies were found, an unexpected sorrow came
+to me. After changing my dress on returning from the fields one
+afternoon, I was taken to the hall of judgment, and at once jumped to
+the conclusion that I had again unwittingly fallen into disgrace; but on
+arriving at that uncomfortable apartment I perceived that this was not
+the case. Looking round at the assembled company I missed Yoletta, and
+my heart sank in me, and I even wished that my first impression had
+proved correct. On the great stone table, before which the father was
+seated, lay an open folio, the leaf displayed being only illuminated at
+the top and inner margin; the colored part at the top I noticed was
+torn, the rent extending down to about the middle of the page.
+
+Presently the dear girl appeared, with tearful eyes and flushed face,
+and advancing hurriedly to the father, she stood before him with
+downcast eyes.
+
+"My daughter, tell me how and why you did this?" he demanded, pointing
+to the open volume.
+
+"Oh, father, look at this," she returned, half-sobbing, and touching the
+lower end of the colored margin with her finger. "Do you see how badly
+it is colored? And I had spent three days in altering and retouching it,
+and still it displeased me. Then, in sudden anger, I pushed the book
+from me, and seeing it slipping from the stand I caught the leaf to
+prevent it from falling, and it was torn by the weight of the book. Oh,
+dear father, will you forgive me?"
+
+"Forgive you, my daughter? Do you not know how it grieves my heart to
+punish you; but how can this offense to the house be forgiven, which
+must stand in evidence against us from generation to generation? For we
+cease to be, but the house remains; and the writing we leave on it,
+whether it be good or evil, that too remains for ever. An unkind word is
+an evil thing, an unkind deed a worse, but when these are repented they
+may be forgiven and forgotten. But an injury done to the house cannot be
+forgotten, for it is the flaw in the stone that keeps its place, the
+crude, inharmonious color which cannot be washed out with water.
+Consider, my daughter, in the long life of the house, how many unborn
+men will turn the leaves of this book, and coming to this leaf will be
+offended at so grievous a disfigurement! If we of this generation were
+destined to live for ever, then it might be written on this page for a
+punishment and warning:" Yoletta tore it in her anger. "But we must pass
+away and be nothing to succeeding generations, and it would not be right
+that Yoletta's name should be remembered for the wrong she did to the
+house, and all she did for its good forgotten."
+
+A painful silence ensued, then, lifting her tear-stained face, she said:
+"Oh father, what must my punishment be?"
+
+"Dear child, it will be a light one, for we consider your youth and
+impulsive nature, and also that the wrong you did was partly the result
+of accident. For thirty days you must live apart from us, subsisting on
+bread and water, and holding intercourse with one person only, who will
+assist you with your work and provide you with all things necessary."
+
+This seemed to me a harsh, even a cruel punishment for so trivial an
+offense, or accident, rather; but she was not perhaps of the same mind,
+for she kissed his hand, as if in gratitude for his leniency.
+
+"Tell me, child," he said, putting his hand on her head, and regarding
+her with misty eyes, "who shall attend you in your seclusion?"
+
+"Edra," she murmured; and the other, coming forward, took her by the
+hand and led her away.
+
+I gazed eagerly after her as she retired, hungering for one look from
+her dear eyes before that long separation; but they were filled with
+tears and bent on the floor, and in a moment she was gone from sight.
+
+The succeeding days were to me dreary beyond description. For the first
+time I became fully conscious of the strength of a passion which had now
+become a consuming fire in my breast, and could only end in utter
+misery--perhaps in destruction--or else in a degree of happiness no
+mortal had ever tasted before. I went about listlessly, like one on whom
+some heavy calamity has fallen: all interest in my work was lost; my
+food seemed tasteless; study and conversation had become a weariness;
+even in those divine concerts, which fitly brought each tranquil day to
+its close, there was no charm now, since Yoletta's voice, which love had
+taught my dull ear to distinguish no longer had any part in it. I was
+not allowed to enter the Mother's Room of an evening now, and the
+exclusion extended also to the others, Edra only excepted; for at this
+hour, when it was customary for the family to gather in the music-room,
+Yoletta was taken from her lonely chamber to be with her mother. This
+was told me, and I also elicited, by means of some roundabout
+questioning, that it was always in the mother's power to have any
+per-son undergoing punishment taken to her, she being, as it were, above
+the law. She could even pardon a delinquent and set him free if she felt
+so minded, although in this case she had not chosen to exercise her
+prerogative, probably because her "sufferings had not clouded her
+understanding." They were treating her very hardly--father and mother
+both--I thought in my bitterness.
+
+The gradual opening of the rainbow lilies served only to remind me every
+hour and every minute of that bright young spirit thus harshly deprived
+of the pleasure she had so eagerly anticipated. She, above them all,
+rejoiced in the beauty of this visible world, regarding nature in some
+of its moods and aspects with a feeling almost bordering on adoration;
+but, alas! she alone was shut out from this glory which God had spread
+over the earth for the delight of all his children.
+
+Now I knew why these autumnal flowers were called rainbow lilies, and
+remembered how Yoletta had told me that they gave a beauty to the earth
+which could not be described or imagined. The flowers were all
+undoubtedly of one species, having the same shape and perfume, although
+varying greatly in size, according to the nature of the soil on which
+they grew. But in different situations they varied in color, one color
+blending with, or passing by degrees into another, wherever the soil
+altered its character. Along the valleys, where they first began to
+bloom, and in all moist situations, the hue was yellow, varying,
+according to the amount of moisture in different places, from pale
+primrose to deep orange, this passing again into vivid scarlet and reds
+of many shades. On the plains the reds prevailed, changing into various
+purples on hills and mountain slopes; but high on the mountains the
+color was blue; and this also had many gradations, from the lower deep
+cornflower blue to a delicate azure on the summits, resembling that of
+the forget-me-not and hairbell.
+
+The weather proved singularly favorable to those who spent their time in
+admiring the lilies, and this now seemed to be almost the only
+occupation of the inmates, excepting, of course, sick Chastel,
+imprisoned Yoletta, and myself--I being too forlorn to admire anything.
+Calm, bright days without a cloud succeeded each other, as if the very
+elements held the lilies sacred and ventured not to cast any shadow over
+their mystic splendor. Each morning one of the men would go out some
+distance from the house and blow on a horn, which could be heard
+distinctly two miles away; and presently a number of horses, in couples
+and troops, would come galloping in, after which they would remain all
+the morning grazing and gamboling about the house. These horses were now
+in constant requisition, all the members of the family, male and female,
+spending several hours every day in careering over the surrounding
+country, seemingly without any particular object. The contagion did not
+affect me, however, for, although I had always been a bold rider (in my
+own country), and excessively fond of horseback exercise, their fashion
+of riding without bridles, and on diminutive straw saddles, seemed to me
+neither safe nor pleasant.
+
+One morning after breakfasting, I took my ax, and was proceeding slowly,
+immersed in thought, to the forest, when hearing a slight swishing sound
+of hoofs on the grass, I turned and beheld the venerable father, mounted
+on his charger, and rushing away towards the hills at an insanely
+break-neck pace. His long garment was gathered tightly round his spare
+form, his feet drawn up and his head bent far forward, while the wind of
+his speed divided his beard, which flew out in two long streamers
+behind. All at once he caught sight of me, and, touching the animal's
+neck, swept gracefully round in narrowing circles, each circle bringing
+him nearer, until he came to a stand at my side; then his horse began
+rubbing his nose on my hand, its breath feeling like fire on my skin.
+
+"Smith," said he, with a grave smile, "if you cannot be happy unless you
+are laboring in the forest with your ax you must proceed with your
+wood-cutting; but I confess it surprises me as much to see you going to
+work on a day like this, as it would to see you walking inverted on your
+hands, and dangling your heels in the air."
+
+"Why?" said I, surprised at this speech.
+
+"If you do not know I must tell you. At night we sleep; in the morning
+we bathe; we eat when we are hungry, converse when we feel inclined, and
+on most days labor a certain number of hours. But more than these
+things, which have a certain amount of pleasure in them, are the
+precious moments when nature reveals herself to us in all her beauty. We
+give ourselves wholly to her then, and she refreshes us; the splendor
+fades, but the wealth it brings to the soul remains to gladden us. That
+must be a dull spirit that cannot suspend its toil when the sun is
+setting in glory, or the violet rainbow appears on the cloud. Every day
+brings us special moments to gladden us, just as we have in the house
+every day our time of melody and recreation. But this supreme and more
+enduring glory of nature comes only once every year; and while it lasts,
+all labor, except that which is pressing and necessary, is unseemly, and
+an offense to the Father of the world." He paused, but I did not know
+what to say in reply, and presently he resumed: "My son, there are
+horses waiting for you, and unless you are more unlike us in mind than I
+ever imagined, you will now take one and ride to the hills, where, owing
+to the absence of forests, the earth can now be seen at its best."
+
+I was about to thank him and turn back, but the thought of Yoletta, to
+whom each heavy day now seemed a year, oppressed by heart, and I
+continued standing motionless, with downcast eyes, wishing, yet fearing,
+to speak.
+
+"Why is your mind troubled, my son?" he said kindly.
+
+"Father," I answered, that word which I now ventured to use for the
+first time trembling from my lips, "the beauty of the earth is very much
+to me, but I cannot help remembering that to Yoletta it is even more,
+and the thought takes away all my pleasure. The flowers will fade, and
+she will not see them."
+
+"My son, I am glad to hear these words," he answered, somewhat to my
+surprise, for I had greatly feared that I had adopted too bold a course.
+"For I see now," he continued, "that this seeming indifference, which
+gave me some pain, does not proceed from an incapacity on your part to
+feel as we do, but from a tender love and compassion--that most precious
+of all our emotions, which will serve to draw you closer to us. I have
+also thought much of Yoletta during these beautiful days, grieving for
+her, and this morning I have allowed her to go out into the hills, so
+that during this day, at least, she will be able to share in our
+pleasure."
+
+Scarcely waiting for another word to be spoken, I flew back to the
+house, anxious enough for a ride now. The little straw saddle seemed now
+as comfortable as a couch, nor was the bridle missed; for, nerved with
+that intense desire to find and speak to my love, I could have ridden
+securely on the slippery back of a giraffe, charging over rough ground
+with a pack of lions at its heels. Away I went at a speed never perhaps
+attained by any winner of the Derby, which made the shining hairs of my
+horse's mane whistle in the still air; down valleys, up hills, flying
+like a bird over roaring burns, rocks, and thorny bushes, never pausing
+until I was far away among those hills where that strange accident had
+befallen me, and from which I had recovered to find the earth so
+changed. I then ascended a great green hill, the top of which must have
+been over a thousand feet above the surrounding country. When I had at
+length reached this elevation, which I did walking and climbing, my
+steed docilely scrambling up after me, the richness and novelty of the
+unimaginable and indescribable scene which opened before me affected me
+in a strange way, smiting my heart with a pain intense and unfamiliar.
+For the first time I experienced within myself that miraculous power the
+mind possesses of reproducing instantaneously, and without perspective,
+the events, feelings, and thoughts of long years--an experience which
+sometimes comes to a person suddenly confronted with death, and in other
+moments of supreme agitation. A thousand memories and a thousand
+thoughts were stirring in me: I was conscious now, as I had not been
+before, of the past and the present, and these two existed in my mind,
+yet separated by a great gulf of time--a blank and a nothingness which
+yet oppressed me with its horrible vastness. How aimless and solitary,
+how awful my position seemed! It was like that of one beneath whose feet
+the world suddenly crumbles into ashes and dust, and is scattered
+throughout the illimitable void, while he survives, blown to some far
+planet whose strange aspect, however beautiful, fills him with an
+undefinable terror. And I knew, and the knowledge only intensified my
+pain, that my agitation, the strugglings of my soul to recover that lost
+life, were like the vain wing-beats of some woodland bird, blown away a
+thousand miles over the sea, into which it must at last sink down and
+perish.
+
+Such a mental state cannot endure for more than a few moments, and
+passing away, it left me weary and despondent. With dull, joyless eyes I
+continued gazing for upwards of an hour on the prospect beneath me; for
+I had now given up all hopes of seeing Yoletta, not yet having
+encountered a single person since starting for my ride. All about me the
+summit was dotted with small lilies of a delicate blue, but at a little
+distance the sober green of the grass became absorbed, as it were, in
+the brighter flower-tints, and the neighboring summits all appeared of a
+pure cerulean hue. Lower down this passed into the purples of the slopes
+and the reds of the plains, while the valleys, fringed with scarlet,
+were like rivers of crocus-colored fire. Distance, and the light,
+autumnal haze, had a subduing and harmonizing effect on the sea of
+brilliant color, and further away on the immense horizon it all faded
+into the soft universal blue. Over this flowery paradise my eyes
+wandered restlessly, for my heart was restless in me, and had lost the
+power of pleasure. With a slight bitterness I recalled some of the words
+the father had spoken to me that morning. It was all very well, I
+thought, for this venerable graybeard to talk about refreshing the soul
+with the sight of all this beauty; but he seemed to lose sight of the
+important fact that there was a considerable difference in our
+respective ages, that the raging hunger of the heart, which he had
+doubtless experienced at one time of his life, was, like bodily hunger,
+not to be appeased with splendid sunsets, rainbows and rainbow lilies,
+however beautiful they might seem to the eye.
+
+Presently, on a second and lower summit of the long mountain I had
+ascended, I caught sight of a person on horseback, standing motionless
+as a figure of stone. At that distance the horse looked no bigger than a
+greyhound, yet so marvelously transparent was the mountain air, that I
+distinctly recognized Yoletta in the rider. I started up, and sprang
+joyfully onto my own horse, and waving my hand to attract her attention,
+galloped recklessly down the slope; but when I reached the opposing
+summit she was no longer there, nor anywhere in sight, and it was as if
+the earth had opened and swallowed her.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 15
+
+During Yoletta's seclusion, my education was not allowed to suffer, her
+place as instructress having been taken by Edra. I was pleased with this
+arrangement, thinking to derive some benefit from it, beyond what she
+might teach me; but very soon I was forced to abandon all hope of
+communicating with the imprisoned girl through her friend and jailer.
+Edra was much disturbed at the suggestion; for I did venture to suggest
+it, though in a tentative, roundabout form, not feeling sure of my
+ground: previous mistakes had made me cautious. Her manner was a
+sufficient warning; and I did not broach the subject a second time. One
+afternoon, however, I met with a great and unexpected consolation,
+though even this was mixed with some perplexing matters.
+
+One day, after looking long and earnestly into my face, said my gentle
+teacher to me; "Do you know that you are changed? All your gay spirits
+have left you, and you are pale and thin and sad. Why is this?"
+
+My face crimsoned at this very direct question, for I knew of that
+change in me, and went about in continual fear that others would
+presently notice it, and draw their own conclusions. She continued
+looking at me, until for very shame I turned my face aside; for if I had
+confessed that separation from Yoletta caused my dejection, she would
+know what that feeling meant, and I feared that any such premature
+declaration would be the ruin of my prospects.
+
+"I know the reason, though I ask you," she continued, placing a hand on
+my shoulder. "You are grieving for Yoletta--I saw it from the first. I
+shall tell her how pale and sad you have grown--how different from what
+you were. But why do you turn your face from me?"
+
+I was perplexed, but her sympathy gave me courage, and made me
+determined to give her my confidence. "If you know," said I, "that I am
+grieving for Yoletta, can you not also guess why I hesitate and hide my
+face from you?"
+
+"No; why is it? You love me also, though not with so great a love; but
+we _do_ love each other, Smith, and you can confide in me?"
+
+I looked into her face now, straight into her transparent eyes, and it
+was plain to see that she had not yet guessed my meaning.
+
+"Dearest Edra," I said, taking her hand, "I love you as much as if one
+mother had given us birth. But I love Yoletta with a different love--not
+as one loves a sister. She is more to me than any one else in the world;
+so much is she that life without her would be a burden. Do you not know
+what that means?" And then, remembering Yoletta's words on the hills, I
+added: "Do you not know of more than one kind of love?"
+
+"No," she answered, still gazing inquiringly into my face. "But I know
+that your love for her so greatly exceeds all others, that it is like a
+different feeling. I shall tell her, since it is sweet to be loved, and
+she will be glad to know it."
+
+"And after you have told her, Edra, shall you make known her reply to
+me?"
+
+"No, Smith; it is an offense to suggest, or even to think, such a thing,
+however much you may love her, for she is not allowed to converse with
+any one directly or through me. She told me that she saw you on the
+hills, and that you tried to go to her, and it distressed her very much.
+But she will forgive you when I have told her how great your love is,
+that the desire to look on her face made you forget how wrong it was to
+approach her."
+
+How strange and incomprehensible it seemed that Edra had so
+misinterpreted my feeling! It seemed also to me that they all, from the
+father of the house downwards, were very blind indeed to set down so
+strong an emotion to mere brotherly affection. I had wished, yet feared,
+to remove the scales from their eyes; and now, in an unguarded moment, I
+had made the attempt, and my gentle confessor had failed to understand
+me. Nevertheless, I extracted some comfort from this conversation; for
+Yoletta would know how greatly my love exceeded that of her own kindred,
+and I hoped against hope that a responsive emotion would at last awaken
+in her breast.
+
+When the last of those leaden-footed thirty days arrived--the day on
+which, according to my computation, Yoletta would recover liberty before
+the sun set--I rose early from the straw pallet where I had tossed all
+night, prevented from sleeping by the prospect of reunion, and the fever
+of impatience I was in. The cold river revived me, and when we were
+assembled in the breakfast-room I observed Edra watching me, with a
+curious, questioning smile on her lips. I asked her the reason.
+
+"You are like a person suddenly recovered from sickness," she replied.
+"Your eyes sparkle like sunshine on the water, and your cheeks that were
+so pallid yesterday burn redder than an autumn leaf." Then, smiling, she
+added these precious words: "Yoletta will be glad to return to us, more
+on your account than her own."
+
+After we had broken our fast, I determined to go to the forest and spend
+the day there. For many days past I had shirked woodcutting; but now it
+seemed impossible for me to settle down to any quiet, sedentary kind of
+work, the consuming impatience and boundless energy I felt making me
+wish for some unusually violent task, such as would exhaust the body and
+give, perhaps, a rest to the mind. Taking my ax, and the usual small
+basket of provisions for my noonday meal, I left the house; and on this
+morning I did not walk, but ran as if for a wager, taking long, flying
+leaps over bushes and streams that had never tempted me before. Arrived
+at the scene of action, I selected a large tree which had been marked
+out for felling, and for hours I hacked at it with an energy almost
+superhuman; and at last, before I had felt any disposition to rest, the
+towering old giant, bowing its head and rustling its sere foliage as if
+in eternal farewell to the skies, came with a mighty crash to the earth.
+Scarcely was it fallen before I felt that I had labored too long and
+violently: the dry, fresh breeze stung my burning cheeks like needles of
+ice, my knees trembled under me, and the whole world seemed to spin
+round; then, casting myself upon a bed of chips and withered leaves, I
+lay gasping for breath, with only life enough left in me to wonder
+whether I had fainted or not. Recovered at length from this exhausted
+condition, I sat up, and rejoiced to observe that half the day--that
+last miserable day--had already flown. Then the thoughts of the
+approaching evening, and all the happiness it would bring, inspired me
+with fresh zeal and strength, and, starting to my feet, and taking no
+thought of my food, I picked up the ax and made a fresh onslaught on the
+fallen tree. I had already accomplished more than a day's work, but the
+fever in my blood and brain urged me on to the arduous task of lopping
+off the huge branches; and my exertions did not cease until once more
+the world, with everything on it, began revolving like a whirligig,
+compelling me to desist and take a still longer rest. And sitting there
+I thought only of Yoletta. How would she look after that long seclusion?
+Pale, and sad too perhaps; and her sweet, soulful eyes--oh, would I now
+see in them that new light for which I had watched and waited so long?
+
+Then, while I thus mused, I heard, not far off, a slight rustling sound,
+as of a hare startled at seeing me, and bounding away over the withered
+leaves; and lifting up my eyes from the ground, I beheld Yoletta herself
+hastening towards me, her face shining with joy. I sprang forward to
+meet her, and in another moment she was locked in my arms. That one
+moment of unspeakable happiness seemed to out-weigh a hundred times all
+the misery I had endured. "Oh, my sweet darling--at last, at last, my
+pain is ended!" I murmured, while pressing her again and again to my
+heart, and kissing that dear face, which looked now so much thinner than
+when I had last seen it.
+
+She bent back her head, like Genevieve in the ballad, to look me in the
+face, her eyes filled with tears--crystal, happy drops, which dimmed not
+their brightness. But her face was pale, with a pensive pallor like that
+of the _Gloire de Dijon_ rose; only now excitement had suffused her
+cheeks with the tints of that same rose--that red so unlike the bloom on
+other faces in vanished days; so tender and delicate and precious above
+all tints in nature!
+
+"I know," she spoke, "how you were grieving for me, that you were pale
+and dejected. Oh, how strange you should love me so much!"
+
+"Strange, darling--that word again! It is the one sweetness and joy of
+life. And are you not glad to be loved?"
+
+"Oh, I cannot tell you how glad; but am I not here in your arms to show
+it? When I heard that you had gone to the wood I did not wait, but ran
+here as fast as I could. Do you remember that evening on the hill, when
+you vexed me with questions, and I could not understand your words? Now,
+when I love you so much more, I can understand them better. Tell me,
+have I not done as you wished, and given myself to you, body and soul?
+How thirty days have changed you! Oh, Smith, do you love me so much?"
+
+"I love you so much, dear, that if you were to die, there would be no
+more pleasure in life for me, and I should prefer to lie near you
+underground. All day long I am thinking of you, and when I sleep you are
+in all ray dreams."
+
+She still continued gazing into my face, those happy tears still shining
+in her eyes, listening to my words; but alas! on that sweet, beautiful
+face, so full of changeful expression, there was not the expression I
+sought, and no sign of that maidenly shame which gave to Genevieve in
+the ballad such an exquisite grace in her lover's eyes.
+
+"I also had dreams of you," she answered. "They came to me after Edra
+had told me how pale and sad you had grown."
+
+"Tell me one of your dreams, darling."
+
+"I dreamed that I was lying awake on my bed, with the moon shining on
+me; I was cold, and crying bitterly because I had been left so long
+alone. All at once I saw you standing at my side in the moonlight. 'Poor
+Yoletta,' you said, 'your tears have chilled you like winter rain.' Then
+you kissed them dry, and when you had put your arms about me, I drew
+your face against my bosom, and rested warm and happy in your love."
+
+Oh, how her delicious words maddened me! Even my tongue and lips
+suddenly became dry as ashes with the fever in me, and could only
+whisper huskily when I strove to answer. I released her from my arms and
+sat down on the fallen tree, all my blissful raptures turned to a great
+despondence. Would it always be thus--would she continue to embrace me,
+and speak words that simulated passion while no such feeling touched her
+heart? Such a state of things could not endure, and my passion, mocked
+and baffled again and again, would rend me to pieces, and hurl me on to
+madness and self-destruction. For how many men had been driven by love
+to such an end, and the women they had worshiped, and miserably died
+for, compared with Yoletta, were like creatures of clay compared with
+one of the immortals. And was she not a being of a higher order than
+myself? It was folly to think otherwise. But how had mortals always
+fared when they aspired to mate with celestials? I tried then to
+remember something bearing on this important point, but my mind was
+becoming strangely confused. I closed my eyes to think, and presently
+opening them again, saw Yoletta kneeling before me, gazing up into my
+face with an alarmed expression.
+
+"What is the matter, Smith, you seem ill?" she said; and then, laying
+her fresh palm on my forehead, added: "Your head burns like fire."
+
+"No wonder," I returned. "I'm worrying my brains trying to remember all
+about them. What were their names, and what did they do to those who
+loved them--can't you tell me?"
+
+"Oh, you are ill--you have a fever and may die!" she exclaimed, throwing
+her arms about my neck and pressing her cheek to mine.
+
+I felt a strange imbecility of mind, yet it seemed to anger me to be
+told that I was ill. "I am not ill," I protested feebly. "I never felt
+better in my life! But can't you answer me--who were they, and what did
+they do? Tell me, or I shall go mad."
+
+She started up, and taking the small metal whistle hanging at her side,
+blew a shrill note that seemed to pierce my brain like a steel weapon. I
+tried to get up from my seat on the trunk, but only slipped down to the
+ground. A dull mist and gloom seemed to be settling down on everything;
+daylight, and hope with it, was fast forsaking the world. But something
+was coming to us--out of that universal mist and darkness closing around
+us it came bounding swiftly through the wood--a huge gray wolf! No, not
+a wolf--a wolf was nothing to it! A mighty, roaring lion crashing
+through the forest; a monster ever increasing in size, vast and of
+horrible aspect, surpassing all monsters of the imagination--all beasts,
+gigantic and deformed, that had ever existed in past geologic ages; a
+lion with teeth like elephants' tusks, its head clothed as with a black
+thunder-cloud, through which its eyes glared like twin, blood-red suns!
+And she--my love--with a cry on her lips, was springing forth to meet
+it--lost, lost for ever! I struggled frantically to rise and fly to her
+assistance, and rose, after many efforts, to my knees, only to fall
+again to the earth, insensible.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 16
+
+The violent fever into which I had fallen did not abate until the third
+day, when I fell into a profound slumber, from which I woke refreshed
+and saved. I did not, on awakening, find myself in my own familiar cell,
+but in a spacious apartment new to me, on a comfortable bed, beside
+which Edra was seated. Almost my first feeling was one of disappointment
+at not seeing Yoletta there, and presently I began to fear that in the
+ravings of delirium I had spoken things which had plucked the scales
+from the eyes of my kind friends in a very rough way indeed, and that
+the being I loved best had been permanently withdrawn from my sight. It
+was a blessed relief when Edra, in answer to the questions I put with
+some heart-quakings to her, informed me that I had talked a great deal
+in my fever, but unintelligibly, continually asking questions about
+Venus, Diana, Juno, and many other persons whose names had never before
+been heard in the house. How fortunate that my crazy brain had thus
+continued vexing itself with this idle question! She also told me that
+Yoletta had watched day and night at my side, that at last, when the
+fever left me, and I had fallen into that cooling slumber, she too, with
+her hand on mine, had dropped her head on the pillow and fallen asleep.
+Then, without waking her, they had carried her away to her own room, and
+Edra had taken her place by my side.
+
+"Have you nothing more to ask?" she said at length, with an accent of
+surprise.
+
+"No; nothing more. What you have told me has made me very happy--what
+more can I wish to know?"
+
+"But there is more to tell you, Smith. We know now that your illness is
+the result of your own imprudence; and as soon as you are well enough to
+leave your room and bear it, you must suffer the punishment."
+
+"What! Punished for being ill!" I exclaimed, sitting bolt upright in my
+bed. "What do you mean, Edra? I never heard such outrageous nonsense in
+my life!"
+
+She was disturbed at this outburst, but quietly and gravely repeated
+that I must certainly be punished for my illness.
+
+Remembering what their punishments were, I had the prospect of a second
+long separation from Yoletta, and the thought of such excessive
+severity, or rather of such cruel injustice, made me wild. "By Heaven, I
+shall not submit to it!" I exclaimed. "Punished for being ill--who ever
+heard of such a thing! I suppose that by-and-by it will be discovered
+that the bridge of my nose is not quite straight, or that I can't see
+round the corner, and that also will be set down as a crime, to be
+expiated in solitary confinement, on a bread-and-water diet! No, you
+shall not punish me; rather than give in to such tyranny I'll walk off
+and leave the house for ever!"
+
+She regarded me with an expression almost approaching to horror on her
+gentle face, and for some moments made no reply. Then I remembered that
+if I carried out that insane threat I should indeed lose Yoletta, and
+the very thought of such a loss was more than I could endure; and for a
+moment I almost hated the love which made me so helpless and
+miserable--so powerless to oppose their stupid and barbarous practices.
+It would have been sweet then to have felt free--free to fling them a
+curse, and go away, shaking the dust of their house from my shoes,
+supposing that any dust had adhered to them.
+
+Then Edra began to speak again, and gravely and sorrowfully, but without
+a touch of austerity in her tone or manner, censured me for making use
+of such irrational language, and for allowing bitter, resentful thoughts
+to enter my heart. But the despondence and sullen rage into which I had
+been thrown made me proof even against the medicine of an admonition
+imparted so gently, and, turning my face away, I stubbornly refused to
+make any reply. For a while she was silent, but I misjudged her when I
+imagined that she would now leave me, offended, to my own reflections.
+
+"Do you not know that you are giving me pain?" she said at last, drawing
+a little closer to me. "A little while ago you told me that you loved
+me: has that feeling faded so soon, or do you take any pleasure in
+wounding those you love?"
+
+Her words, and, more than her words, her tender, pleading tone, pierced
+me with compunction, and I could not resist. "Edra, my sweet sister, do
+not imagine such a thing!" I said. "I would rather endure many
+punishments than give you pain. My love for you cannot fade while I have
+life and understanding. It is in me like greenness in the leaf--that
+beautiful color which can only be changed by sere decay."
+
+She smiled forgiveness, and with a humid brightness in her eyes, which
+somehow made me think of that joy of the angels over one sinner that
+repenteth, bent down and touched her lips to mine. "How can you love any
+one more than that, Smith?" she said. "Yet you say that your love for
+Yoletta exceeds all others."
+
+"Yes, dear, exceeds all others, as the light of the sun exceeds that of
+the moon and the stars. Can you not understand that--has no man ever
+loved you with a love like that, my sister?"
+
+She shook her head and sighed. Did she not understand my meaning
+now--had not my words brought back some sweet and sorrowful memory? With
+her hands folded idly on her lap, and her face half averted, she sat
+gazing at nothing. It seemed impossible that this woman, so tender and
+so beautiful, should never have experienced in herself or witnessed in
+another, the feeling I had questioned her about. But she made no further
+reply to my words; and as I lay there watching her, the drowsy spirit
+the fever had left in me overcame my brain, and I slept once more.
+
+For several days, which brought me so little strength that I was not
+permitted to leave the sick-room, I heard nothing further about my
+punishment, for I purposely refrained from asking any questions, and no
+person appeared inclined to bring forward so disagreeable a subject. At
+length I was pronounced well enough to go about the house, although
+still very feeble, and I was conducted, not to the judgment-room, where
+I had expected to be taken, but to the Mother's Room; and there I found
+the father of the house, seated with Chastel, and with them seven or
+eight of the others. They all welcomed me, and seemed glad to see me out
+again; but I could not help remarking a certain subdued, almost solemn
+air about them, which seemed to remind me that I was regarded as an
+offender already found guilty, who had now been brought up to receive
+judgment.
+
+"My son," said the father, addressing me in a calm, judicial tone which
+at once put my last remaining hopes to flight, "it is a consolation to
+us to know that your offense is of such a nature that it cannot diminish
+our esteem for you, or loosen the bonds of affection which unite you to
+us. You are still feeble, and perhaps a little confused in mind
+concerning the events of the last few days: I do not therefore press you
+to give an account of them, but shall simply state your offense, and if
+I am mistaken in any particular you shall correct me. The great love you
+have for Yoletta," he continued--and at this I started and blushed
+painfully, but the succeeding words served to show that I had only too
+little cause for alarm--"the great love you have for Yoletta caused you
+much suffering during her thirty days' seclusion from us, so that you
+lost all enjoyment of life, and eating little, and being in continual
+dejection, your strength was much diminished. On the last day you were
+so much excited at the prospect of reunion with her, that you went to
+your task in the woods almost fasting, and probably after spending a
+restless night. Tell me if this is not so?"
+
+"I did not sleep that night," I replied, somewhat huskily.
+
+"Unrefreshed by sleep and with lessened strength," he continued, "you
+went to the woods, and in order to allay that excitement in your mind,
+you labored with such energy that by noon you had accomplished a task
+which, in another and calmer condition of mind and body, would have
+occupied you more than one day. In thus acting you had already been
+guilty of a serious offense against yourself; but even then you might
+have escaped the consequences if, after finishing your work, you had
+rested and refreshed yourself with food and drink. This, however, you
+neglected to do; for when you had fallen insensible to the earth, and
+Yoletta had called the dog and sent it to the house to summon
+assistance, the food you had taken with you was found untasted in the
+basket. Your life was thus placed in great peril; and although it is
+good to lay life down when it has become a burden to ourselves and
+others, being darkened by that failure of power from which there is no
+recovery, wantonly or carelessly to endanger it in the flower of its
+strength and beauty is a great folly and a great offense. Consider how
+deep our grief would have been, especially the grief of Yoletta, if this
+culpable disregard of your own safety and well-being had ended fatally,
+as it came so near ending! It is therefore just and righteous that an
+offense of such a nature should be recompensed; but it is a light
+offense, not like one committed against the house, or even against
+another person, and we also remember the occasion of it, since it was no
+unworthy motive, but exceeding love, which clouded your judgment, and
+therefore, taking all these things into account, it was my intention to
+put you away from us for the space of thirteen days."
+
+Here he paused, as if expecting me to make some reply. He had reproved
+me so gently, even approving of the emotion, although still entirely in
+the dark as to its meaning, which had caused my illness, that I was made
+to feel very submissive, and even grateful to him.
+
+"It is only just," I replied, "that I should suffer for my fault, and
+you have tempered justice with more mercy than I deserve."
+
+"You speak with the wisdom of a chastened spirit, my son," he said,
+rising and placing his hand on my head; "and your words gladden me all
+the more for knowing that you were filled with surprise and resentment
+when told that your offense was one deserving punishment. And now, my
+son, I have to tell you that you will not be separated from us, for the
+mother of the house has willed that your offense shall be pardoned."
+
+I looked in surprise at Chastel, for this was very unexpected: she was
+gazing at my face with the light of a strange tenderness in her eyes,
+never seen there before. She extended her hand, and, kneeling before
+her, I took it in mine and raised it to my lips, and tried, with poor
+success, to speak my thanks for this rare and beautiful act of mercy.
+Then the others surrounded me to express their congratulations, the men
+pressing my hands, but not so the women, for they all freely kissed me;
+but when Yoletta, coming last, put her white arms about my neck and
+pressed her lips to mine, the ecstasy I felt was so greatly overbalanced
+by the pain of my position, and the thought, now almost a conviction,
+that I was powerless to enlighten them with regard to the nature of the
+love I felt for her, that I almost shrank from her dear embrace.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 17
+
+My attack of illness, although sharp, had passed off so quickly that I
+confidently looked to complete restoration to my former vigorous state
+of health in a very short time. Nevertheless, many days went by, and I
+failed to recover strength, but remained pretty much in that condition
+of body in which I had quitted the sick-room. This surprised and
+distressed me at first, but in a little time I began to get reconciled
+to such a state, and even to discover that it had certain advantages,
+the chief of which was that the tumult of my mind was over for a season,
+so that I craved for nothing very eagerly. My friends advised me to do
+no work; but not wishing to eat the bread of idleness--although the
+bread was little now, as I had little appetite--I made it a rule to go
+every morning to the workhouse, and occupy myself for two or three hours
+with some light, mechanical task which put no strain on me, physical or
+mental. Even this playing at work fatigued me. Then, after changing my
+dress, I would repair to the music-room to resume my search after hidden
+knowledge in any books that happened to be there; for I could read now,
+a result which my sweet schoolmistress had been the first to see, and at
+once she had abandoned the lessons I had loved so much, leaving me to
+wander at will, but without a guide, in that wilderness of a strange
+literature. I had never been to the library, and did not even know in
+what part of the house it was situated; nor had I ever expressed a wish
+to see it. And that for two reasons: one was, that I had already
+half-resolved--my resolutions were usually of that complexion--never to
+run the risk of appearing desirous of knowing too much; the other and
+weightier reason was, that I had never loved libraries. They oppress me
+with a painful sense of my mental inferiority; for all those tens of
+thousands of volumes, containing so much important but unappreciated
+matter, seem to have a kind of collective existence, and to look down on
+me, like a man with great, staring, owlish eyes, as an intruder on
+sacred ground--a barbarian, whose proper place is in the woods. It is a
+mere fancy, I know, but it distresses me, and I prefer not to put myself
+in the way of it. Once in a book I met with a scornful passage about
+people with "bodily constitutions like those of horses, and small
+brains," which made me blush painfully; but in the very next passage the
+writer makes amends, saying that a man ought to think himself well off
+if, in the lottery of life, he draws the prize of a healthy stomach
+without a mind, that it is better than a fine intellect with a crazy
+stomach. I had drawn the healthy stomach--liver, lungs, and heart to
+match--and had never felt dissatisfied with my prize. Now, however, it
+seemed expedient that I should give some hours each day to reading; for
+so far my conversations and close intimacy with the people of the house
+had not dissipated the cloud of mystery in which their customs were hid;
+and by customs I here refer to those relating to courtship and matrimony
+only, for that was to me the main thing. The books I read, or dipped
+into, were all highly interesting, especially the odd volumes I looked
+at belonging to that long series on the _Houses of the World_, for
+these abounded in marvelous and entertaining matter. There were also
+histories of the house, and works on arts, agriculture, and various
+other subjects, but they were not what I wanted. After three or four
+hours spent in these fruitless researches, I would proceed to the
+Mother's Room, where I was now permitted to enter freely every
+afternoon, and when there, to remain as long as I wished. It was so
+pleasant that I soon dropped into the custom of remaining until
+supper-time compelled me to leave it, Chastel invariably treating me now
+with a loving tenderness of manner which seemed strange when I recalled
+the extremely unfavorable impression I had made at our first interview.
+
+It was never my nature to be indolent, or to love a quiet, dreamy
+existence: on the contrary, my fault had lain in the opposite direction,
+unlimited muscular exercise being as necessary to my well-being as fresh
+air and good food, and the rougher the exercise the better I liked it.
+But now, in this novel condition of languor, I experienced a wonderful
+restfulness both of body and mind, and in the Mother's Room, resting as
+if some weariness of labor still clung to me, breathing and steeped in
+that fragrant, summer-like atmosphere, I had long intervals of perfect
+inactivity and silence, while I sat or reclined, not thinking but in a
+reverie, while many dreams of pleasures to come drifted in a vague,
+vaporous manner through my brain. The very character of the room--its
+delicate richness, the exquisitely harmonious disposition of colors and
+objects, and the illusions of nature produced on the mind--seemed to
+lend itself to this unaccustomed mood, and to confirm me in it.
+
+The first impression produced was one of brightness: coming to it by way
+of the long, dim sculpture gallery was like passing out into the open
+air, and this effect was partly due to the white and crystal surfaces
+and the brilliancy of the colors where any color appeared. It was
+spacious and lofty, and the central arched or domed portion of the roof,
+which was of a light turquoise blue, rested on graceful columns of
+polished crystal. The doors were of amber-colored glass set in agate
+frames; but the windows, eight in number, formed the principal
+attraction. On the glass, hill and mountain scenery was depicted, the
+summits in some of them appearing beyond wide, barren plains, whitened
+with the noonday splendor and heat of midsummer, untempered by a cloud,
+the soaring peaks showing a pearly luster which seemed to remove them to
+an infinite distance. To look out, as it were, from the imitation shade
+of such an arbor, or pavilion, over those far-off, sun-lit expanses
+where the light appeared to dance and quiver as one gazed, was a
+never-failing delight. Such was its effect on me, combined with that of
+the mother's new tender graciousness, resulting I knew not whether from
+compassion or affection, that I could have wished to remain a permanent
+invalid in her room.
+
+Another cause of the mild kind of happiness I now experienced was the
+consciousness of a change in my own mental disposition, which made me
+less of an alien in the house; for I was now able, I imagined, to
+appreciate the beautiful character of my friends, their crystal purity
+of heart and the religion they professed. Far back in the old days I had
+heard, first and last, a great deal about sweetness and light and
+Philistines, and not quite knowing what this grand question was all
+about, and hearing from some of my friends that I was without the
+qualities they valued most, I thereafter proclaimed myself a Philistine,
+and was satisfied to have the controversy ended in that way, so far as
+it concerned me personally. Now, however, I was like one to whom some
+important thing has been told, who, scarcely hearing and straightway
+forgetting, goes about his affairs; but, lying awake at night in the
+silence of his chamber, recalls the unheeded words and perceives their
+full significance. My sojourn with this people--angelic women and
+mild-eyed men with downy, unrazored lips, so mild in manner yet in their
+arts "laying broad bases for eternity"--above all the invalid hours
+spent daily in the Mother's Room, had taught me how unlovely a creature
+I had been. It would have been strange indeed if, in such an atmosphere,
+I had not absorbed a little sweetness and light into my system.
+
+In this sweet refuge--this slumberous valley where I had been cast up by
+that swift black current that had borne me to an immeasurable distance
+on its bosom, and with such a change going on within me--I sometimes
+thought that a little more and I would touch that serene, enduring bliss
+which seemed to be the normal condition of my fellow-inmates. My passion
+for Yoletta now burned with a gentle flame, which did not consume, but
+only imparted an agreeable sense of warmth to the system. When she was
+there, sitting with me at her mother's feet, sometimes so near that her
+dark, shining hair brushed against my cheek, and her fragrant breath
+came on my face; and when she caressed my hand, and gazed full at me
+with those dear eyes that had no shadow of regret or anxiety in them,
+but only unfathomable love, I could imagine that our union was already
+complete, that she was altogether and eternally mine.
+
+I knew that this could not continue. Sometimes I could not prevent my
+thoughts from flying away from the present; then suddenly the complexion
+of my dream would change, darkening like a fair landscape when a cloud
+obscures the sun. Not forever would the demon of passion slumber and
+dream in my breast; with recovered strength it would wake again, and,
+ever increasing in power and ever baffled of its desire, would raise
+once more that black tempest of that past to overwhelm me. Other darker
+visions followed: I would see myself as in a magic glass, lying with
+upturned, ghastly face, with many people about me, hurrying to and fro,
+wringing their hands and weeping aloud with grief, shuddering at the
+abhorred sight of blood on their sacred, shining floors; or, worse
+still, I saw myself shivering in sordid rags and gaunt with long-lasting
+famine, a fugitive in some wintry, desolate land, far from all human
+companionship, the very image of Yoletta scorched by madness to formless
+ashes in my brain; and for all sensations, feelings, memories, thoughts,
+nothing left to me but a distorted likeness of the visible world, and a
+terrible unrest urging me, as with a whip of scorpions, ever on and on,
+to ford yet other black, icy torrents, and tear myself bleeding through
+yet other thorny thickets, and climb the ramparts of yet other gigantic,
+barren hills.
+
+But these moments of terrible depression, new to my life, were
+infrequent, and seldom lasted long. Chastel was my good angel; a word, a
+touch from her hand, and the ugly spirits would vanish. She appeared to
+possess a mysterious faculty--perhaps only the keen insight and sympathy
+of a highly spiritualized nature--which informed her of much that was
+passing in my heart: if a shadow came there when she had no wish or
+strength to converse, she would make me draw close to her seat, and rest
+her hand on mine, and the shadow would pass from me.
+
+I could not help reflecting often and wonderingly at this great change
+in her manner towards me. Her eyes dwelt lovingly on me, and her keenest
+suffering, and the unfortunate blundering expressions I frequently let
+fall, seemed equally powerless to wring one harsh or impatient word from
+her. I was not now only one among her children, privileged to come and
+sit at her feet, to have with them a share in her impartial affection;
+and remembering that I was a stranger in the house, and compared but
+poorly with the others, the undisguised preference she showed for me,
+and the wish to have me almost constantly with her, seemed a great
+mystery.
+
+One afternoon, as I sat alone with her, she made the remark that my
+reading lessons had ceased.
+
+"Oh yes, I can read perfectly well now," I answered. "May I read to you
+from this book?" Saying which, I put my hand towards a volume lying on
+the couch at her side. It differed from the other books I had seen, in
+its smaller size and blue binding.
+
+"No, not in this book," she said, with a shade of annoyance in her
+voice, putting out her hand to prevent my taking it.
+
+"Have I made another mistake?" I asked, withdrawing my hand. "I am very
+ignorant."
+
+"Yes, poor boy, you are very ignorant," she returned, placing her hand
+on my forehead. "You must know that this is a mother's book, and only a
+mother may read in it."
+
+"I am afraid," I said, with a sigh, "that it will be a long time before
+I cease to offend you with such mistakes."
+
+"There is no occasion to say that, for you have not offended me, only
+you make me feel sorry. Every day when you are with me I try to teach
+you something, to smooth the path for you; but you must remember, my
+son, that others cannot feel towards you as I do, and it may come to
+pass that they will sometimes be offended with you, because their love
+is less than mine."
+
+"But why do you care so much for me?" I asked, emboldened by her words.
+"Once I thought that you only of all in the house would never love me:
+what has changed your feelings towards me, for I know that they have
+changed?" She looked at me, smiling a little sadly, but did not reply.
+"I think I should be happier for knowing," I resumed, caressing her
+hand. "Will you not tell me?"
+
+There was a strange trouble on her face as her eyes glanced away and
+then returned to mine again, while her lips quivered, as if with
+unspoken words. Then she answered: "No, I cannot tell you now. It would
+make you happy, perhaps, but the proper time has not yet arrived. You
+must be patient, and learn, for you have much to learn. It is my desire
+that you should know all those things concerning the family of which you
+are ignorant, and when I say all, I mean not only those suitable to one
+in your present condition, as a son of the house, but also those higher
+matters which belong to the heads of the house--to the father and
+mother."
+
+Then, casting away all caution, I answered: "It is precisely a knowledge
+of those greater matters concerning the family which I have been
+hungering after ever since I came into the house."
+
+"I know it," she returned. "This hunger you speak of was partly the
+cause of your fever, and it is in you, keeping you feverish and feeble
+still; but for this, instead of being a prisoner here, you would now be
+abroad, feeling the sun and wind on your face."
+
+"And if you know that," I pleaded, "why do you not now impart the
+knowledge that can make me whole? For surely, all those lesser
+matters--those things suitable for one in my condition to know--can be
+learned afterwards, in due time. For they are not of pressing
+importance, but the other is to me a matter of life and death, if you
+only knew it."
+
+"I know everything," she returned quickly. But a cloud had come over her
+face at my concluding words, and a startled look into her eyes. "Life
+and death! do you know what you are saying?" she exclaimed, fixing her
+eyes on me with such intense earnestness in them that mine fell abashed
+before their gaze. Then, after a while, she drew my head down against
+her knees, and spoke with a strange tenderness. "Do you then find it so
+hard to exercise a little patience, my son, that you do not acquiesce in
+what I say to you, and fear to trust your future in my hands? My time is
+short for all that I have to do, yet I also must be patient and wait,
+although for me it is hardest. For now your coming, which I did not
+regard at first, seeing in you only a pilgrim like others--one who
+through accidents of travel had been cast away and left homeless in the
+world, until we found and gave you shelter--now, it has brought
+something new into my life: and if this fresh hope, which is only an
+old, perished hope born again, ever finds fulfillment, then death will
+lose much of its bitterness. But there are difficulties in the way which
+only time, and the energy of a soul that centers all its faculties in
+one desire, one enterprise, can overcome. And the chief difficulty I
+find is in yourself--in that strange, untoward disposition so often
+revealed in your conversation, which you have shown even now; for to be
+thus questioned and pressed, and to have my judgment doubted, would have
+greatly offended me in another. Remember this, and do not abuse the
+privilege you enjoy: remember that you must greatly change before I can
+share with you the secrets of my heart that concern you. And bear in
+mind, my son, that I am not rebuking you for a want of knowledge; for I
+know that for many deficiencies you are not blameworthy. I know, for
+instance, that nature has denied to you that melodious and flexible
+voice in which it is our custom every day to render homage to the
+Father, to express all the sacred feelings of our hearts, all our love
+for each other, the joy we have in life, and even our griefs and
+sorrows. For grief is like a dark, oppressive cloud, until from lip and
+hand it breaks in the rain of melody, and we are lightened, so that even
+the things that are painful give to life a new and chastened glory. And
+as with music, so with all other arts. There is a twofold pleasure in
+contemplating our Father's works: in the first and lower kind you share
+with us; but the second and more noble, springing from the first, is
+ours through that faculty by means of which the beauty and harmony of
+the visible world become transmuted in the soul, which is like a pencil
+of glass receiving the white sunbeam into itself, and changing it to
+red, green, and violet-colored light: thus nature transmutes itself in
+our minds, and is expressed in art. But in you this second faculty is
+wanting, else you would not willingly forego so great a pleasure as its
+exercise affords, and love nature like one that loves his fellow-man,
+but has no words to express so sweet a feeling. For the happiness of
+love with sympathy, when made known and returned, is increased an
+hundredfold; and in all artistic work we commune not with blind,
+irrational nature, but with the unseen spirit which is in nature,
+inspiring our hearts, returning love for love, and rewarding our labor
+with enduring bliss. Therefore it is your misfortune, not your fault,
+that you are deprived of this supreme solace and happiness."
+
+To this speech, which had a depressing effect on me, I answered sadly:
+"Every day I feel my deficiencies more keenly, and wish more ardently to
+lessen the great distance between us; but now--sweet mother, forgive me
+for saying it!--your words almost make me despond."
+
+"And yet, my son, I have spoken only to encourage you. I know your
+limitations, and expect nothing beyond your powers; nor do your errors
+greatly trouble me, believing as I do that in time you will be able to
+dismiss them from your mind. But the temper of your mind must be changed
+to be worthy of the happiness I have designed for you. Patience must
+chasten that reckless spirit in you; for feverish diligence, alternating
+with indifference or despondence, there must be unremitting effort; and
+for that unsteady flame of hope, which burns so brightly in the morning
+and in the evening sings so low, there must be a bright, unwavering, and
+rational hope. It would be strange indeed if after this you were cast
+down; and, lest you forget anything, I will say again that only by
+giving you enduring happiness and the desire of your heart can my one
+hope be fulfilled. Consider how much I say to you in these words; it
+saddens me to think that so much was necessary. And do not think hardly
+of me, my son, for wishing to keep you a little longer in this prison
+with me: for in a little while your weakness will pass away like a
+morning cloud. But for me there shall come no change, since I must
+remain day and night here with the shadow of death; and when I am taken
+forth, and the sunshine falls once more on my face, I shall not feel it,
+and shall not see it, and I shall lie forgotten when you are in the
+midst of your happy years."
+
+Her words smote on my heart with a keen pain of compassion. "Do not say
+that you will be forgotten!" I exclaimed passionately; "for should you
+be taken away, I shall still love and worship your memory, as I worship
+you now when you are alive."
+
+She caressed my hand, but did not speak; and when I looked up, her worn
+face had dropped on the pillow, and her eyes were closed. "I am
+tired--tired," she murmured. "Stay with me a little longer, but leave me
+if I sleep."
+
+And in a little while she slept. The light was on her face, resting on
+the purple pillow, and with the soulful eyes closed, and the lips that
+had no red color of life in them also closed and motionless, it was like
+a face carved in ivory of one who had suffered like Isarte in the house
+and perished long generations ago; and the abundant dark, lusterless
+hair that framed it, looked dead too, and of the color of wrought iron.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 18
+
+Chastel's words sank deep in my heart--deeper than words had ever sunk
+before into that somewhat unpromising soil; and although she had
+purposely left me in the dark with regard to many important matters, I
+now resolved to win her esteem, and bind her yet more closely to me by
+correcting those faults in my character she had pointed out with so much
+tenderness.
+
+Alas! the very next day was destined to bring me a sore trouble. On
+entering the breakfast-room I became aware that a shadow had fallen on
+the house. Among his silent people the father sat with gray, haggard
+face and troubled eyes; then Yoletta entered, her sweet face looking
+paler than when I had first seen it after her long punishment, while
+under her heavy, drooping eyelids her skin was stained with that
+mournful purple which tells of a long vigil and a heart oppressed with
+anxiety. I heard with profound concern that Chastel's malady had
+suddenly become aggravated; that she had passed the night in the
+greatest suffering. What would become of me, and of all those bright
+dreams of happiness, if she were to die? was my first idea. But at the
+same time I had the grace to feel ashamed of that selfish thought.
+Nevertheless, I could not shake off the gloom it had produced in me,
+and, too distressed in mind to work or read, I repaired to the Mother's
+Room, to be as near as possible to the sufferer on whose recovery so
+much now depended. How lonely and desolate it seemed there, now that she
+was absent! Those mountain landscapes, glowing with the white radiance
+of mimic sunshine, still made perpetual summer; yet there seemed to be a
+wintry chill and death-like atmosphere which struck to the heart, and
+made me shiver with cold. The day dragged slowly to its close, and no
+rest came to the sufferer, nor sign of improvement to relieve our
+anxiety. Until past midnight I remained at my post, then retired for
+three or four miserable, anxious hours, only to return once more when it
+was scarcely light. Chastel's condition was still unchanged, or, if
+there had been any change, it was for the worse, for she had not slept.
+Again I remained, a prey to desponding thoughts, all day in the room;
+but towards evening Yoletta came to take me to her mother. The summons
+so terrified me that for some moments I sat trembling and unable to
+articulate a word; for I could not but think that Chastel's end was
+approaching. Yoletta, however, divining the cause of my agitation,
+explained that her mother could not sleep for torturing pains in her
+head, and wished me to place my hand on her forehead, to try whether
+that would cause any relief. This seemed to me a not very promising
+remedy; but she told me that on former occasions they had often
+succeeded in procuring her ease by placing a hand on her forehead, and
+that having failed now, Chastel had desired them to call me to her to
+try my hand. I rose, and for the first time entered that sacred chamber,
+where Chastel was lying on a low bed placed on a slightly raised
+platform in the center of the floor. In the dim light her face looked
+white as the pillow on which it rested, her forehead contracted with
+sharp pain, while low moans came at short intervals from her twitching
+lips; but her wide-open eyes were fixed on my face from the moment I
+entered the room, and to me they seemed to express mental anguish rather
+than physical suffering. At the head of the bed sat the father, holding
+her hand in his; but when I entered he rose and made way for me,
+retiring to the foot of the bed, where two of the women were seated. I
+knelt beside the bed, and Yoletta raised and tenderly placed my right
+hand on the mother's forehead, and, after whispering to me to let it
+rest very gently there, she also withdrew a few paces.
+
+Chastel did not speak, but for some minutes continued her low, piteous
+moanings, only her eyes remained fixed on my face; and at last, becoming
+uneasy at her scrutiny, I said in a whisper: "Dearest mother, do you
+wish to say anything to me?"
+
+"Yes, come nearer," she replied; and when I had bent my cheek close to
+her face, she continued: "Do not fear, my son; I shall not die. I cannot
+die until that of which I have spoken to you has been accomplished."
+
+I rejoiced at her words, yet, at the same time, they gave me pain; for
+it seemed as though she knew how much my heart had been troubled by that
+ignoble fear.
+
+"Dear mother, may I say something?" I asked, wishing to tell her of my
+resolutions.
+
+"Not now; I know what you wish to say," she returned. "Be patient and
+hopeful always, and fear nothing, even though we should be long divided;
+for it will be many days before I can leave this room to speak with you
+again."
+
+So softly had she whispered, that the others who stood so near were not
+aware that she had spoken at all.
+
+After this brief colloquy she closed her eyes, but for some time the low
+moans of pain continued. Gradually they sank lower, and became less and
+less frequent, while the lines of pain faded out of her white,
+death-like face. And at length Yoletta, stealing softly to my side,
+whispered, "She is sleeping," and withdrawing my hand, led me away.
+
+When we were again in the Mother's Room she threw her arms about my neck
+and burst into a tempest of tears.
+
+"Dearest Yoletta, be comforted," I said, pressing her to my breast; "she
+will not die."
+
+"Oh, Smith, how do you know?" she returned quickly, looking up with her
+eyes still shining with large drops.
+
+Then, of Chastel's whispered words to me, I repeated those four, "I
+shall not die," but nothing more; they were however, a great relief to
+her, and her sweet, sorrowful face brightened like a drooping flower
+after rain.
+
+"Ah, she knew, then, that the touch of your hand would cause sleep, that
+sleep would save her," she said, smiling up at me.
+
+"And you, my darling, how long is it since you closed those sweet
+eyelids that seem so heavy?"
+
+"Not since I slept three nights ago."
+
+"Will you sit by me here, resting your head on me, and sleep a little
+now?"
+
+"Not there!" she cried quickly. "Not on the mother's couch. But if you
+will sit here, it will be pleasant if I can sleep for a little while,
+resting on you."
+
+I placed myself on the low seat she led me to, and then, when she had
+coiled herself up on the cushions, with her arms still round my neck,
+and her head resting on my bosom, she breathed a long happy sigh, and
+dropped like a tired child to sleep.
+
+How perfect my happiness would have been then, with Yoletta in my arms,
+clasping her weary little ministering hands in mine, and tenderly
+kissing her dark, shining hair, but for the fear that some person might
+come there to notice and disturb me. And pretty soon I was startled to
+see the father himself coming from Chastel's chamber to us. Catching
+sight of me he paused, smiling, then advanced, and deliberately sat down
+by my side.
+
+"This one is sleeping also," he said cheerfully, touching the girl's
+hair with his hand. "But you need not fear, Smith; I think we shall be
+able to talk very well without waking her."
+
+I had feared something quite different, if he had only known it, and
+felt considerably relieved by his words; nevertheless, I was not
+over-pleased at the prospect of a conversation just then, and should
+have preferred being left alone with my precious burden.
+
+"My son," he continued, placing a hand on my shoulder, "I sometimes
+recall, not without a smile, the effect your first appearance produced
+on us, when we were startled at your somewhat grotesque pilgrim costume.
+Your attempts at singing, and ignorance of art generally, also impressed
+me unfavorably, and gave me some concern when I thought about the
+future--that is, _your_ future; for it seemed to me that you had
+but slender foundations whereon to build a happy life. These doubts,
+however, no longer trouble me; for on several occasions you have shown
+us that you possess abundantly that richest of all gifts and safest
+guide to happiness--the capacity for deep affection. To this spirit of
+love in you--this summer of the heart which causes it to blossom with
+beautiful thoughts and deeds--I attribute your success just now, when
+the contact of your hand produced the long-desired, refreshing slumber
+so necessary to the mother at this stage of her malady. I know that this
+is a mysterious thing; and it is commonly said that in such cases relief
+is caused by an emanation from the brain through the fingers. Doubtless
+this is so; and I also choose to believe that only a powerful spirit of
+love in the heart can rightly direct this subtle energy, that where such
+a spirit is absent the desired effect cannot be produced."
+
+"I do not know," I replied. "Great as my love and devotion is, I cannot
+suppose it to equal, much less to surpass, that of others who yet failed
+on this occasion to give relief."
+
+"Yes, yes; only that is looking merely at the surface of the matter, and
+leaving out of sight the unfathomable mysteries of a being compounded of
+flesh and spirit. There are among our best instruments peculiar to this
+house, especially those used chiefly in our harvest music, some of such
+finely-tempered materials, and of so delicate a construction, that the
+person wishing to perform on them must not only be inspired with the
+melodious passion, but the entire system--body and soul--must be in the
+proper mood, the flesh itself elevated into harmony with the exalted
+spirit, else he will fail to elicit the tones or to give the expression
+desired. This is a rough and a poor simile, when we consider how
+wonderful an instrument a human being is, with the body that burns with
+thought, and the spirit that quivers and cries with pain, and when we
+think how its innumerable, complex chords may be injured and untuned by
+suffering. The will may be ours, but something, we know not what,
+interposes to defeat our best efforts. That you have succeeded in
+producing so blessed a result, after we had failed, has served to deepen
+and widen in our hearts the love we already felt for you; for how much
+more precious is this melody of repose, this sweet interval of relief
+from cruel pain the mother now experiences, than many melodies from
+clear voices and trained hands."
+
+In my secret heart I believed that he was taking much too lofty a view
+of the matter; but I had no desire to argue against so flattering a
+delusion, if it were one, and only wished that I could share it with
+him.
+
+"She is sleeping still," he said presently, "perhaps without pain, like
+Yoletta here, and her sleep will now probably last for some hours."
+
+"I pray Heaven that she may wake refreshed and free from pain," I
+remarked.
+
+He seemed surprised at my words, and looked searchingly into my face.
+"My son," he said, "it grieves me, at a moment like the present, to have
+to point out a great error to you; but it is an error hurtful to
+yourself and painful to those who see it, and if I were to pass it over
+in silence, or put off speaking of it to another time, I should not be
+fulfilling the part of a loving father towards you."
+
+Surprised at this speech, I begged him to tell me what I had said that
+was wrong.
+
+"Do you not then know that it is unlawful to entertain such a thought as
+you have expressed?" he said. "In moments of supreme pain or bitterness
+or peril we sometimes so far forget ourselves as to cry out to Heaven to
+save us or to give us ease; but to make any such petition when we are in
+the full possession of our faculties is unworthy of a reasonable being,
+and an offense to the Father: for we pray to each other, and are moved
+by such prayers, remembering that we are fallible, and often err through
+haste and forgetfulness and imperfect knowledge. But he who freely gave
+us life and reason and all good gifts, needs not that we should remind
+him of anything; therefore to ask him to give us the thing we desire is
+to make him like ourselves, and charge him with an oversight; or worse,
+we attribute weakness and irresolution to him, since the petitioner
+thinks my importunity to incline the balance in his favor."
+
+I was about to reply that I had always considered prayer to be an
+essential part of religion, and not of my form of religion only, but of
+all religions all over the world. Luckily I remembered in time that he
+probably knew more about matters "all over the world" than I did, and so
+held my tongue.
+
+"Have you any doubts on the subject?" he asked, after a while.
+
+"I must confess that I still have some doubts," I replied. "I believe
+that our Creator and Father desires the happiness of all his creatures
+and takes no pleasure in seeing us miserable; for it would be impossible
+not to believe it, seeing how greatly happiness overbalances misery in
+the world. But he does not come to us in visible form to tell us in an
+audible voice that to cry out to him in sore pain and distress is
+unlawful. How, then, do we know this thing? For a child cries to its
+mother, and a fledgling in the nest to its parent bird; and he is
+infinitely more to us than parent to child--infinitely stronger to help,
+and knows our griefs as no fellow-mortal can know them. May we not,
+then, believe, without hurt to our souls, that the cry of one of his
+children in affliction may reach him; that in his compassion, and by
+means of his sovereign power over nature, he may give ease to the racked
+body, and peace and joy to the desolate mind?"
+
+"You ask me, How, then, do we know this thing? and you answer the
+question yourself, yet fail to perceive that you answer it, when you say
+that although he does not come in a visible form to teach us this thing
+and that thing, yet we know that he desires our happiness; and to this
+you might have added a thousand or ten thousand other things which we
+know. If the reason he gave us to start with makes it unnecessary that
+he should come to tell us in an audible voice that he desires our
+happiness, it must also surely suffice to tell us which are lawful and
+which unlawful of all the thoughts continually rising in our hearts.
+That any one should question so evident and universally accepted a
+truth, the foundation of all religion, seems very surprising to me. If
+it had consisted with his plan to make these delicate mortal bodies
+capable of every agreeable sensation in the highest degree, yet not
+liable to accident, and not subject to misery and pain, he would surely
+have done this for all of us. But reason and nature show us that such an
+end did not consist with his plan; therefore to ask him to suspend the
+operations of nature for the benefit of any individual sufferer, however
+poignant and unmerited the sufferings may be, is to shut our eyes to the
+only light he has given us. All our highest and sweetest feelings unite
+with reason to tell us with one voice that he loves us; and our
+knowledge of nature shows us plainly enough that he also loves all the
+creatures inferior to man. To us he has given reason for a guide, and
+for the guidance and protection of the lower kinds he has given
+instinct: and though they do not know him, it would make us doubt his
+impartial love for all his creatures, if we, by making use of our
+reason, higher knowledge, and articulate speech, were able to call down
+benefits on ourselves, and avert pain and disaster, while the dumb,
+irrational brutes suffered in silence--the languishing deer that leaves
+the herd with a festering thorn in its foot; the passage bird blown from
+its course to perish miserably far out at sea."
+
+His conclusions were perhaps more logical than mine; nevertheless,
+although I could not argue the matter any more with him, I was not yet
+prepared to abandon this last cherished shred of old beliefs, although
+perhaps not cherished for its intrinsic worth, but rather because it had
+been given to me by a sweet woman whose memory was sacred to my
+heart--my mother before Chastel.
+
+Fortunately, it was not necessary to continue the discussion any longer,
+for at this juncture one of the watchers from the sick-room came to
+report that the mother was still sleeping peacefully, hearing which, the
+father rose to seek a little needful rest in an adjoining room. Before
+going, however, he proposed, with mistaken kindness, to relieve me of my
+burden, and place the girl without waking her on a couch. But I would
+not consent to have her disturbed; and finally, to my great delight,
+they left her still in my arms, the father warmly pressing my hand, and
+advising me to reflect well on his words concerning prayer.
+
+It was growing dark now, and how welcome that obscurity seemed, while
+with no one nigh to see or hear I kissed her soft tresses a hundred
+times, and murmured a hundred endearing words in her sleeping ears.
+
+Her waking, which gave me a pang at first, afforded me in the end a
+still greater bliss.
+
+"Oh, how dark it is--where am I?" she exclaimed, starting suddenly from
+repose.
+
+"With me, sweetest," I said. "Do you not remember going to sleep on my
+breast?"
+
+"Yes; but oh, why did you not wake me sooner? My mother--my mother--"
+
+"She is still quietly sleeping, dearest. Ah, I wish you also had
+continued sleeping! It was such a delight to have you in my arms."
+
+"My love!" she said, laying her soft cheek against mine. "How sweet it
+was to fall asleep in your arms! When we came in here I could scarcely
+say a word, for my heart was too full for speech; and now I have a
+hundred things to say. After all, I should only finish by giving you a
+kiss, which is more eloquent than speech; so I shall kiss you at once,
+and save myself the trouble of talking so much."
+
+"Say one of the hundred things, Yoletta."
+
+"Oh, Smith, before this evening I did not think that I could love you
+more; and sometimes, when I recalled what I once said to you--on the
+hill, do you remember?--it seemed to me that I already loved you a
+little too much. But now I am convinced that I was mistaken, for a
+thousand offenses could not alienate my heart, which is all yours
+forever."
+
+"Mine for ever, without a doubt, darling?" I murmured, holding her
+against my breast; and in my rapture almost forgetting that this angelic
+affection she lavished on me would not long satisfy my heart.
+
+"Yes, for ever, for you shall never, never leave the house. Your
+pilgrimage, from which you derived so little benefit, is over now. And
+if you ever attempt to go forth again to find out new wonders in the
+world, I shall clasp you round with my arms, as I do now, and keep you
+prisoner against your will; and if you say 'Farewell' a hundred times to
+me, I shall blot out that sad word every time with my lips, and put a
+better one in its place, until my word conquers yours."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 19
+
+Although deprived for the present of all intercourse with Chastel and
+Yoletta, now in constant attendance on her mother, I ought to have been
+happy, for all things seemed conspiring to make my life precious to me.
+Nevertheless, I was far from happy; and, having heard so much said about
+reason in my late conversations with the father and mother of the house,
+I began to pay an unusual amount of attention to this faculty in me, in
+order to discover by its aid the secret of the sadness which continued
+at all times during this period to oppress my heart. I only discovered,
+what others have discovered before me, that the practice of
+introspection has a corrosive effect on the mind, which only serves to
+aggravate the malady it is intended to cure. During those restful days
+in the Mother's Room, when I had sat with Chastel, this spirit of
+melancholy had been with me; but the mother's hallowing presence had
+given something of a divine color to it, my passions had slumbered, and,
+except at rare intervals, I had thought of sorrow as of something at an
+immeasurable distance from me. Then to my spirit
+
+  "_The gushing of the wave
+   Far, far away, did seem to mourn and rave
+   On alien shores_";
+
+and so sweet had seemed that pause, that I had hoped and prayed for its
+continuance. No sooner was I separated from her than the charm
+dissolved, and all my thoughts, like evening clouds that appear luminous
+and rich in color until the sun has set, began to be darkened with a
+mysterious gloom. Strive how I might, I was unable to compose my mind to
+that serene, trustful temper she had desired to see in me, and without
+which there could be no blissful futurity. After all the admonitions and
+the comforting assurances I had received, and in spite of reason and all
+it could say to me, each night I went to my bed with a heavy heart; and
+each morning when I woke, there, by my pillow, waited that sad phantom,
+to go with me where I went, to remind me at every pause of an implacable
+Fate, who held my future in its hands, who was mightier than Chastel,
+and would shatter all her schemes for my happiness like vessels of
+brittle glass.
+
+Several days--probably about fifteen, for I did not count them--had
+passed since I had been admitted into the mother's sleeping-room, when
+there came an exceedingly lovely day, which seemed to bring to me a
+pleasant sensation of returning health, and made me long to escape from
+morbid dreams and vain cravings. Why should I sit at home and mope, I
+thought; it was better to be active: sun and wind were full of healing.
+Such a day was in truth one of those captain jewels "that seldom placed
+are" among the blusterous days of late autumn, with winter already
+present to speed its parting. For a long time the sky had been overcast
+with multitudes and endless hurrying processions of wild-looking
+clouds--torn, wind-chased fugitives, of every mournful shade of color,
+from palest gray to slatey-black; and storms of rain had been frequent,
+impetuous, and suddenly intermitted, or passing away phantom-like
+towards the misty hills, there to lose themselves among other phantoms,
+ever wandering sorrowfully in that vast, shadowy borderland where earth
+and heaven mingled; and gusts of wind which, as they roared by over a
+thousand straining trees and passed off with hoarse, volleying sounds,
+seemed to mimic the echoing thunder. And the leaves--the millions and
+myriads of sere, cast-off leaves, heaped ankle-deep under the desolate
+giants of the wood, and everywhere, in the hollows of the earth, lying
+silent and motionless, as became dead, fallen things--suddenly catching a
+mock fantastic life from the wind, how they would all be up and
+stirring, every leaf with a hiss like a viper, racing, many thousands at
+a time, over the barren spaces, all hurriedly talking together in their
+dead-leaf language! until, smitten with a mightier gust, they would rise
+in flight on flight, in storms and stupendous, eddying columns, whirled
+up to the clouds, to fall to the earth again in showers, and freckle the
+grass for roods around. Then for a moment, far off in heavens, there
+would be a rift, or a thinning of the clouds, and the sunbeams, striking
+like lightning through their ranks, would illumine the pale blue mist,
+the slanting rain, the gaunt black boles and branches, glittering with
+wet, casting a momentary glory over the ocean-like tumult of nature.
+
+In the condition I was in, with a relaxed body and dejected mind, this
+tempestuous period, which would have only afforded fresh delight to a
+person in perfect health, had no charm for my spirit; but, on the
+contrary, it only served to intensify my gloom. And yet day after day it
+drew me forth, although in my weakness I shivered in the rough gale, and
+shrank from the touch of the big cold drops the clouds flung down on me.
+It fascinated me, like the sight of armies contending in battle, or of
+some tragic action from which the spectator cannot withdraw his gaze.
+For I had become infected with strange fancies, so persistent and somber
+that they were like superstitions. It seemed to me that not I but nature
+had changed, that the familiar light had passed like a kindly expression
+from her countenance, which was now charged with an awful menacing gloom
+that frightened my soul. Sometimes, when straying alone, like an unquiet
+ghost among the leafless trees, when a deeper shadow swept over the
+earth, I would pause, pale with apprehension, listening to the many
+dirge-like sounds of the forest, ever prophesying evil, until in my
+trepidation I would start and tremble, and look to this side and to
+that, as if considering which way to fly from some unimaginable calamity
+coming, I knew not from where, to wreck my life for ever.
+
+This bright day was better suited to my complaint. The sun shone as in
+spring; not a stain appeared on the crystal vault of heaven; everywhere
+the unfailing grass gave rest to the eye with its verdure; and a light
+wind blew fresh and bracing in my face, making my pulses beat faster,
+although feebly still. Remembering my happy wood-cutting days, before my
+trouble had come to me, I got my ax and started to walk to the wood;
+then seeing Yoletta watching my departure from the terrace, I waved my
+hand to her. Before I had gone far, however, she came running to me,
+full of anxiety, to warn me that I was not yet strong enough for such
+work. I assured her that I had no intention of working hard and tiring
+myself, then continued my walk, while she returned to attend on her
+mother.
+
+The day was so bright with sunshine that it inspired me with a kind of
+passing gladness, and I began to hum snatches of old half-remembered
+songs. They were songs of departing summer, tinged with melancholy, and
+suggested other verses not meant for singing, which I began repeating.
+
+  "Rich flowers have perished on the silent earth--
+   Blossoms of valley and of wood that gave
+   A fragrance to the winds."
+
+
+And again:
+
+  "The blithesome birds have sought a sunnier shore;
+   They lingered till the cold cold winds went in
+   And withered their green homes."
+
+
+And these also were fragments, breathing only of sadness, which made me
+resolve to dismiss poetry from my mind and think of nothing at all. I
+tried to interest myself in a flight of buzzard-like hawks, soaring in
+wide circles at an immense height above me. Gazing up into that far blue
+vault, under which they moved so serenely, and which seemed so infinite,
+I remembered how often in former days, when gazing up into such a sky, I
+had breathed a prayer to the Unseen Spirit; but now I recalled the words
+the father of the house had spoken to me, and the prayer died unformed
+in my heart, and a strange feeling of orphanhood saddened me, and
+brought my eyes to earth again.
+
+Half-way to the wood, on an open reach where there were no trees or
+bushes, I came on a great company of storks, half a thousand of them at
+least, apparently resting on their travels, for they were all standing
+motionless, with necks drawn in, as if dozing. They were very stately,
+handsome birds, clear gray in color, with a black collar on the neck,
+and red beak and legs. My approach did not disturb them until I was
+within twenty yards of the nearest--for they were scattered over an acre
+of ground; then they rose with a loud, rustling noise of wings, only to
+settle again at a short distance off.
+
+Incredible numbers of birds, chiefly waterfowl, had appeared in the
+neighborhood since the beginning of the wet, boisterous weather; the
+river too was filled with these new visitors, and I was told that most
+of them were passengers driven from distant northern regions, which they
+made their summer home, and were now flying south in search of a warmer
+climate.
+
+All this movement in the feathered world had, during my troubled days,
+brought me as little pleasure as the other changes going on about me:
+those winged armies ever hurrying by in broken detachments, wailing and
+clanging by day and by night in the clouds, white with their own terror,
+or black-plumed like messengers of doom, to my distempered fancy only
+added a fresh element of fear to a nature racked with disorders, and
+full of tremendous signs and omens.
+
+The interest with which I now remarked these pilgrim storks seemed to me
+a pleasant symptom of a return to a saner state of mind, and before
+continuing my walk I wished that Yoletta had been there with me to see
+them and tell me their history; for she was curious about such matters,
+and had a most wonderful affection for the whole feathered race. She had
+her favorites among the birds at different seasons, and the kind she
+most esteemed now had been arriving for over a month, their numbers
+increasing day by day until the woods and fields were alive with their
+flocks.
+
+This kind was named the cloud-bird, on account of its starling-like
+habit of wheeling about over its feeding-ground, the birds throwing
+themselves into masses, then scattering and gathering again many times,
+so that when viewed at a distance a large flock had the appearance of a
+cloud, growing dark and thin alternately, and continually changing its
+form. It was somewhat larger than a starling, with a freer flight, and
+had a richer plumage, its color being deep glossy blue, or blue-black,
+and underneath bright chestnut. When close at hand and in the bright
+sunshine, the aerial gambols of a flock were beautiful to witness, as
+the birds wheeled about and displayed in turn, as if moved by one
+impulse, first the rich blue, then the bright chestnut surfaces to the
+eye. The charming effect was increased by the bell-like, chirping notes
+they all uttered together, and as they swept round or doubled in the air
+at intervals came these tempests of melodious sound--a most perfect
+expression of wild jubilant bird-life. Yoletta, discoursing in the most
+delightful way about her loved cloud-birds, had told me that they spent
+the summer season in great solitary marshes, where they built their
+nests in the rushes; but with cold weather they flew abroad, and at such
+times seemed always to prefer the neighborhood of man, remaining in
+great flocks near the house until the next spring. On this bright sunny
+morning I was amazed at the multitudes I saw during my walk: yet it was
+not strange that birds were so abundant, considering that there were no
+longer any savages on the earth, with nothing to amuse their vacant
+minds except killing the feathered creatures with their bows and arrows,
+and no innumerable company of squaws clamorous for trophies--unchristian
+women of the woods with painted faces, insolence in their eyes, and for
+ornaments the feathered skins torn from slain birds on their heads.
+
+When I at length arrived at the wood, I went to that spot where I had
+felled the large tree on the occasion of my last and disastrous visit,
+and where Yoletta, newly released from confinement, had found me. There
+lay the rough-barked giant exactly as I had left it, and once more I
+began to hack at the large branches; but my feeble strokes seemed to
+make little impression, and becoming tired in a very short time, I
+concluded that I was not yet equal to such work, and sat myself down to
+rest. I remembered how, when sitting on that very spot, I had heard a
+slight rustling of the withered leaves, and looking up beheld Yoletta
+coming swiftly towards me with outstretched arms, and her face shining
+with joy. Perhaps she would come again to me to-day: yes, she would
+surely come when I wished for her so much; for she had followed me out
+to try to dissuade me from going to the woods, and would be anxiously
+thinking about me; and she could spare an hour from the sick-room now.
+The trees and bushes would prevent me from seeing her approach, but I
+should hear her, as I had heard her before. I sat motionless, scarcely
+breathing, straining my sense to catch the first faint sound of her
+light, swift step; and every time a small bird, hopping along the
+ground, rustled a withered leaf, I started up to greet and embrace her.
+But she did not come; and at last, sick at heart with hope deferred, I
+covered my face with my hands, and, weak with misery, cried like a
+disappointed child.
+
+Presently something touched me, and, removing my hands from my face, I
+saw that great silver-gray dog which had come to Yoletta's call when I
+fainted, sitting before me with his chin resting on my knees. No doubt
+he remembered that last wood-cutting day very well, and had come to take
+care of me now.
+
+"Welcome, dear old friend!" said I; and in my craving for sympathy of
+some kind I put my arms over him, and pressed my face against his. Then
+I sat up again, and gazed into the pair of clear brown eyes watching my
+face so gravely.
+
+"Look here, old fellow," said I, talking audibly to him for want of
+something in human shape to address, "you didn't lick my face just now
+when you might have done so with impunity; and when I speak to you, you
+don't wag that beautiful bushy tail which serves you for ornament. This
+reminds me that you are not like the dogs I used to know--the dogs that
+talked with their tails, caressed with their tongues, and were never
+over-clean or well-behaved. Where are they now--collies, rat-worrying
+terriers, hounds, spaniels, pointers, retrievers--dogs rough and dogs
+smooth; big brute boarhounds, St. Bernard's, mastiffs, nearly or quite
+as big as you are, but not so slender, silky-haired, and sharp-nosed,
+and without your refined expression of keenness without cunning. And
+after these canine noblemen of the old _regime_, whither has
+vanished the countless rabble of mongrels, curs, and pariah dogs; and
+last of all--being more degenerate--the corpulent, blear-eyed, wheezy
+pet dogs of a hundred breeds? They are all dead, no doubt: they have
+been dead so long that I daresay nature extracted all the valuable salts
+that were contained in their flesh and bones thousands of years ago, and
+used it for better things--raindrops, froth of the sea, flowers and
+fruit, and blades of grass. Yet there was not a beast in all that crew
+of which its master or mistress was not ready to affirm that it could do
+everything but talk! No one says that of you, my gentle guardian; for
+dog-worship, with all the ten thousand fungoid cults that sprang up and
+flourished exceedingly in the muddy marsh of man's intellect, has
+withered quite away, and left no seed. Yet in intelligence you are, I
+fancy, somewhat ahead of your far-off progenitors: long use has also
+given you something like a conscience. You are a good, sensible beast,
+that's all. You love and serve your master, according to your lights;
+night and day, you, with your fellows, guard his flocks and herds, his
+house and fields. Into his sacred house, however, you do not intrude
+your comely countenance, knowing your place."
+
+"What, then, happened to earth, and how long did that undreaming slumber
+last from which I woke to find things so altered? I do not know, nor
+does it matter very much. I only know that there has been a sort of
+mighty Savonarola bonfire, in which most of the things once valued have
+been consumed to ashes--politics, religions, systems of philosophy, isms
+and ologies of all descriptions; schools, churches, prisons, poorhouses;
+stimulants and tobacco; kings and parliaments; cannon with its hostile
+roar, and pianos that thundered peacefully; history, the press, vice,
+political economy, money, and a million things more--all consumed like
+so much worthless hay and stubble. This being so, why am I not
+overwhelmed at the thought of it? In that feverish, full age--so full,
+and yet, my God, how empty!--in the wilderness of every man's soul, was
+not a voice heard crying out, prophesying the end? I know that a thought
+sometimes came to me, passing through my brain like lightning through
+the foliage of a tree; and in the quick, blighting fire of that
+intolerable thought, all hopes, beliefs, dreams, and schemes seemed
+instantaneously to shrivel up and turn to ashes, and drop from me, and
+leave me naked and desolate. Sometimes it came when I read a book of
+philosophy; or listened on a still, hot Sunday to a dull preacher--they
+were mostly dull--prosing away to a sleepy, fashionable congregation
+about Daniel in the lions' den, or some other equally remote matter; or
+when I walked in crowded thoroughfares; or when I heard some great
+politician out of office--out in the cold, like a miserable working-man
+with no work to do--hurling anathemas at an iniquitous government; and
+sometimes also when I lay awake in the silent watches of the night. A
+little while, the thought said, and all this will be no more; for we
+have not found out the secret of happiness, and all our toil and effort
+is misdirected; and those who are seeking for a mechanical equivalent of
+consciousness, and those who are going about doing good, are alike
+wasting their lives; and on all our hopes, beliefs, dreams, theories,
+and enthusiasms, 'Passing away' is written plainly as the _Mene, mene,
+tekel, upharsin_ seen by Belshazzar on the wall of his palace in
+Babylon."
+
+"That withering thought never comes to me now. 'Passing away' is not
+written on the earth, which is still God's green footstool; the grass
+was not greener nor the flowers sweeter when man was first made out of
+clay, and the breath of life breathed into his nostrils. And the human
+family and race--outcome of all that dead, unimaginable past--this also
+appears to have the stamp of everlastingness on it; and in its tranquil
+power and majesty resembles some vast mountain that lifts its head above
+the clouds, and has its granite roots deep down in the world's center. A
+feeling of awe is in me when I gaze on it; but it is vain to ask myself
+now whether the vanished past, with its manifold troubles and transitory
+delights, was preferable to this unchanging peaceful present. I care for
+nothing but Yoletta; and if the old world was consumed to ashes that she
+might be created, I am pleased that it was so consumed; for nobler than
+all perished hopes and ambitions is the hope that I may one day wear
+that bright, consummate flower on my bosom."
+
+"I have only one trouble now--a wolf that follows me everywhere, always
+threatening to rend me to pieces with its black jaws. Not you, old
+friend--a great, gaunt, man-eating, metaphorical wolf, far more terrible
+than that beast of the ancients which came to the poor man's door. In
+the darkness its eyes, glowing like coals, are ever watching me, and
+even in the bright daylight its shadowy form is ever near me, stealing
+from bush to bush, or from room to room, always dogging my footsteps.
+Will it ever vanish, like a mere phantom--a wolf of the brain--or will
+it come nearer and more near, to spring upon and rend me at the last? If
+they could only clothe my mind as they have my body, to make me like
+themselves with no canker at my heart, ever contented and calmly glad!
+But nothing comes from taking thought. I am sick of thought--I hate it!
+Away with it! I shall go and look for Yoletta, since she does not come
+to me. Good-by, old friend, you have been well-behaved and listened with
+considerable patience to a long discourse. It will benefit you about as
+much as I have been benefited by many a lecture and many a sermon I was
+compelled to listen to in the old vanished days."
+
+Bestowing another caress on him I got up and went back to the house,
+thinking sadly as I walked that the bright weather had not yet greatly
+improved my spirits.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Chapter 20
+
+Arrived at the house I was again disappointed at not seeing Yoletta; yet
+without reasonable cause, since it was scarcely past midday, and she
+came out from attending on her mother only at long intervals--in the
+morning, and again just before evening--to taste the freshness of nature
+for a few minutes.
+
+The music-room was deserted when I went there; but it was made warm and
+pleasant by the sun shining brightly in at the doors opening to the
+south. I went on to the extreme end of the room, remembering now that I
+had seen some volumes there when I had no time or inclination to look at
+them, and I wanted something to read; for although I found reading very
+irksome at this period, there was really little else I could do. I found
+the books--three volumes--in the lower part of an alcove in the wall;
+above them, within a niche in the alcove, on a level with my face as I
+stood there, I observed a bulb-shaped bottle, with a long thin neck,
+very beautifully colored. I had seen it before, but without paying
+particular attention to it, there being so many treasures of its kind in
+the house; now, seeing it so closely, I could not help admiring its
+exquisite beauty, and feeling puzzled at the scene depicted on it. In
+the widest part it was encircled with a band, and on it appeared slim
+youths and maidens, in delicate, rose-colored garments, with butterfly
+wings on their shoulders, running or hurriedly walking, playing on
+instruments of various forms, their faces shining with gladness, their
+golden hair tossed by the wind--a gay procession, without beginning or
+end. Behind these joyful ones, in pale gray, and half-obscured by the
+mists that formed the background, appeared a second procession, hurrying
+in an opposite direction--men and women of all ages, but mostly old,
+with haggard, woebegone faces; some bowed down, their eyes fixed on the
+ground; others wringing their hands, or beating their breasts; and all
+apparently suffering the utmost affliction of mind.
+
+Above the bottle there was a deep circular cell in the alcove, about
+fifteen inches in diameter; fitted in it was a metal ring, to which were
+attached golden strings, fine as gossamer threads: behind the first ring
+was a second, and further in still others, all stringed like the first,
+so that looking into the cell it appeared filled with a mist of golden
+cobweb.
+
+Drawing a cushioned seat to this secluded nook, where no person passing
+casually through the room would be able to see me, I sat down, and
+feeling too indolent to get myself a reading-stand, I supported the
+volume I had taken up to read on my knees. It was entitled _Conduct
+and Ceremonial,_ and the subject-matter was divided into short
+sections, each with an appropriate heading. Turning over the leaves, and
+reading a sentence here and there in different sections, it occurred to
+me that this might prove a most useful work for me to study, whenever I
+could bring my mind into the right frame for such a task; for it
+contained minute instructions upon all points relating to individual
+conduct in the house--as the entertainment of pilgrims, the dress to be
+worn, and the conduct to be observed at the various annual festivals,
+with other matters of the kind. Glancing through it in this rapid way, I
+soon finished with the first volume, then went through the second in
+even less time, for many of the concluding sections related to
+lugubrious subjects which I did not care to linger over; the titles
+alone were enough to trouble me--Decay through Age, Ailments of Mind and
+of Body; then Death, and, finally, the Disposal of the Dead. This done I
+took up the third volume, the last of the series, the first portion of
+which was headed, _Renewal of the Family_. This part I began to
+examine with some attention, and pretty soon discovered that I had now
+at last accidentally stumbled upon a perfect mine of information of the
+precise kind I had so long and so vainly been seeking. Struggling to
+overcome my agitation I read on, hurrying through page after page with
+the greatest rapidity; for there was here much matter that had no
+special interest for me, but incidentally the things which concerned me
+most to know were touched on, and in some cases minutely explained. As I
+proceeded, the prophetic gloom which had oppressed me all that day, and
+for so many days before, darkened to the blackness of despair, and
+suddenly throwing up my arms, the book slipped from my knees and fell
+with a crash upon the floor. There, face downwards, with its beautiful
+leaves doubled and broken under its weight, it rested unheeded at my
+feet. For now the desired knowledge was mine, and that dream of
+happiness which had illumined my life was over. Now I possessed the
+secret of that passionless, everlasting calm of beings who had for ever
+outlived, and left as immeasurably far behind as the instincts of the
+wolf and ape, the strongest emotion of which my heart was capable. For
+the children of the house there could be no union by marriage; in body
+and soul they differed from me: they had no name for that feeling which
+I had so often and so vainly declared; therefore they had told me again
+and again that there was only one kind of love, for they, alas! could
+experience one kind only. I did not, for the moment, seek further in the
+book, or pause to reflect on that still unexplained mystery, which was
+the very center and core of the whole mater, namely, the existence of
+the father and mother in the house, from whose union the family was
+renewed, and who, fruitful themselves, were yet the parents of a barren
+race. Nor did I ask who their successors would be: for albeit
+long-lived, they were mortal like their own passionless children, and in
+this particular house their lives appeared now to be drawing to an end.
+These were questions I cared nothing about. It was enough to know that
+Yoletta could never love me as I loved her--that she could never be
+mine, body and soul, in my way and not in hers. With unspeakable
+bitterness I recalled my conversation with Chastel: now all her
+professions of affection and goodwill, all her schemes for smoothing my
+way and securing my happiness, seemed to me the veriest mockery, since
+even she had read my heart no better than the others, and that chill
+moonlight felicity, beyond which her children were powerless to imagine
+anything, had no charm for my passion-torn heart.
+
+Presently, when I began to recover somewhat from my stupefaction, and to
+realize the magnitude of my loss, the misery of it almost drove me mad.
+I wished that I had never made this fatal discovery, that I might have
+continued still hoping and dreaming, and wearing out my heart with
+striving after the impossible, since any fate would have been preferable
+to the blank desolation which now confronted me. I even wished to
+possess the power of some implacable god or demon, that I might shatter
+the sacred houses of this later race, and destroy them everlastingly,
+and repeople the peaceful world with struggling, starving millions, as
+in the past, so that the beautiful flower of love which had withered in
+men's hearts might blossom again.
+
+While these insane thoughts were passing through my brain I had risen
+from my seat, and stood leaning against the edge of the alcove, with
+that curious richly-colored bottle close to my eyes. There were letters
+on it, noticed now for the first time--minute, hair-like lines beneath
+the strange-contrasted processionists depicted on the band--and even in
+my excited condition I was a little startled when these letters, forming
+the end of a sentence, shaped themselves into the words--_and for the
+old life there shall be a new life_.
+
+Turning the bottle round I read the whole sentence. _When time and
+disease oppress, and the sun grows cold in heaven, and there is no
+longer any joy on the earth, and the fire of love grows cold in the
+heart, drink of me, and for the old life there shall be a new life._
+
+"Another important secret!" thought I; "this day has certainly been
+fruitful in discoveries. A panacea for all diseases, even for the
+disease of old age, so that a man may live two hundred years, and still
+find some pleasure in existence. But for me life has lost its savor, and
+I have no wish to last so long. There is more writing here--another
+secret perhaps, but I doubt very much that it will give me any comfort."
+
+_When your soul is darkened, so that it is hard to know evil from
+good, and the thoughts that are in you lead to madness, drink of me, and
+be cured._
+
+"No, I shall not drink and be cured! Better a thousand times the
+thoughts that lead to madness than this colorless existence without
+love. I do not wish to recover from so sweet a malady."
+
+I took the bottle in my hand and unstopped it. The stopper formed a
+curious little cup, round the rim of which was written, _Drink of
+me_. I poured some of the liquid out into the cup; it was pale yellow
+in color, and had a faint sickly smell as of honeysuckles. Then I poured
+it back again and replaced the bottle in its niche.
+
+_Drink and be cured_. No, not yet. Some day, perhaps, my trouble
+increasing till it might no longer be borne, would drive me to seek such
+dreary comfort as this cure-all bottle contained. To love without hope
+was sad enough, but to be without love was even sadder.
+
+I had grown calm now: the knowledge that I had it in my power to escape
+at once and for eyer from that rage of desire, had served to sober my
+mind, and at last I began to reason about the matter. The nature of my
+secret feelings could never be suspected, and in the unsubstantial realm
+of the imagination it would still be in my power to hide myself with my
+love, and revel in all supreme delight. Would not that be better than
+this cure--this calm contentment held out to me? And in time also my
+feelings would lose their present intensity, which often made them an
+agony, and would come at last to exist only as a gentle rapture stirring
+in my heart when I clasped my darling to my bosom and pressed her sweet
+lips with mine. Ah, no! that was a vain dream, I could not be deceived
+by it; for who can say to the demon of passion in him, thus far shalt
+thou go and no further?
+
+Perplexed in mind and unable to decide which thing was best, my troubled
+thoughts at length took me back to that far-off dead past, when the
+passion of love was so much in man's life. It was much; but in that
+over-populated world it divided the empire of his soul with a great,
+ever-growing misery--the misery of the hungry ones whose minds were
+darkened, through long years of decadence, with a sullen rage against
+God and man; and the misery of those who, wanting nothing, yet feared
+that the end of all things was coming to them.
+
+For the space of half an hour I pondered on these things, then said: "If
+I were to tell a hundredth part of this black retrospect to Yoletta,
+would not she bid me drink and forget, and herself pour out the divine
+liquor, and press it to my lips?"
+
+Again I took the bottle with trembling hand, and filled the same small
+cup to the brim, saying: "For your sake then, Yoletta, let me drink, and
+be cured; for this is what you desire, and you are more to me than life
+or passion or happiness. But when this consuming fire has left me--this
+feeling which until now burns and palpitates in every drop of my blood,
+every fiber of my being--I know that you shall still be to me a sweet,
+sacred sister and immaculate bride, worshipped more of my soul than any
+mother in the house; that loving and being loved by you shall be my one
+great joy all my life long."
+
+I drained the cup deliberately, then stopped the bottle and put it back
+in its place. The liquor was tasteless, but colder than ice, and made me
+shiver when I swallowed it. I began to wonder whether I would be
+conscious of the change it was destined to work in me or not; and then,
+half regretting what I had done, I wished that Yoletta would come to me,
+so that I might clasp her in my arms with all the old fervor once more,
+before that icy-cold liquor had done its work. Finally, I carefully
+raised the fallen book, and smoothed out its doubled leaves, regretting
+that I had injured it; and, sitting down again, I held the open volume
+as before, resting on my knees. Now, however, I perceived that it had
+opened at a place some pages in advance of the passages which had
+excited me; but, feeling no desire to go back to resume my reading just
+where I had left off, my eyes mechanically sought the top of the page
+before me, and this is what I read:
+
+"...make choice of one of the daughters of the house; it is fitting that
+she should rejoice for that brighter excellence which caused her to be
+raised to so high a state, and to have authority over all others, since
+in her, with the father, all the majesty and glory of the house is
+centered; albeit with a solemn and chastened joy, like that of the
+pilgrim who, journeying to some distant tropical region of the earth,
+and seeing the shores of his native country fading from sight, thinks at
+one and the same time of the unimaginable beauties of nature and art
+that fire his mind and call him away, and of the wide distance which
+will hold him for many years divided from all familiar scenes and the
+beings he loves best, and of the storms and perils of the great
+wilderness of waves, into which so many have ventured and have not
+returned. For now a changed body and soul shall separate her forever
+from those who were one in nature with her; and with that superior
+happiness destined to be hers there shall be the pains and perils of
+childbirth, with new griefs and cares unknown to those of humbler
+condition. But on that lesser gladness had by the children of the house
+in her exaltation, and because there will be a new mother in the
+house--one chosen from themselves--there shall be no cloud or shadow;
+and, taking her by the hand, and kissing her face in token of joy, and
+of that new filial love and obedience which will be theirs, they shall
+lead her to the Mother's Room, thereafter to be inhabited by her as long
+as life lasts. And she shall no longer serve in the house or suffer
+rebuke; but all shall serve her in love, and hold her in reverence, who
+is their predestined mother. And for the space of one year she shall be
+without authority in the house, being one apart, instructing herself in
+the secret books which it is not lawful for another to read, and
+observing day by day the directions contained therein, until that new
+knowledge and practice shall ripen her for that state she has been
+chosen to fill."
+
+* * * * *
+
+This passage was a fresh revelation to me. Again I recalled Chastel's
+words, her repeated assurances that she knew what was passing in my
+mind, that her eyes saw things more clearly than others could see them,
+that only by giving me the desire of my heart could the one remaining
+hope of her life be fulfilled. Now I seemed able to understand these
+dark sayings, and a new excitement, full of the joy of hope, sprang up
+in me, making me forget the misery I had so recently experienced, and
+even that increasing sensation of intense cold caused by the draught
+from the mysterious bottle.
+
+I continued reading, but the above passage was succeeded by minute
+instructions, extending over several pages, concerning the dress, both
+for ordinary and extraordinary occasions, to be worn by the chosen
+daughter during her year of preparation: the conduct to be observed by
+her towards other members of the family, also towards pilgrims visiting
+the house in the interval, with many other matters of secondary
+importance. Impatient to reach the end, I tried to turn the leaves
+rapidly, but now found that my arm had grown strangely stiff and cold,
+and seemed like an arm of iron when I raised it, so that the turning
+over of each leaf was an immense labor. Then I read yet another page,
+but with the utmost difficulty; for, notwithstanding the eagerness of my
+mind, my eyes began to remain more and more rigidly fixed on the center
+of the leaf, so that I could scarcely force them to follow the lines.
+Here I read that the bride-elect, her year of preparation being over,
+rises before daylight, and goes out alone to an appointed place at a
+great distance from the house, there to pass several hours in solitude
+and silence, communing with her own heart. Meanwhile, in the house all
+the others array themselves in purple garments, and go out singing at
+sunrise to gather flowers to adorn their heads; then, proceeding to the
+appointed spot, they seek for their new mother, and, finding her, lead
+her home with music and rejoicing.
+
+When, reading in this miserable, painful way, I had reached the bottom
+of the page, and attempted to turn it over, I found that I could no
+longer move my hand--my arms being now like arms of iron, absolutely
+devoid of sensation, while my hands, rigidly grasping the book like the
+hands of a frozen corpse, held it upright and motionless before me. I
+tried to start up and shake off this strange deadness from my body, but
+was powerless to move a muscle. What was the meaning of this condition?
+for I had absolutely no pain, no discomfort even; for the sensation of
+intense cold had almost ceased, and my mind was active and clear, and I
+could hear and see, and yet was as powerless as if I had been buried in
+a marble coffin a thousand fathoms deep in earth.
+
+Suddenly I remembered the draught from the bottle, and a terrible doubt
+shot through my heart. Alas! had I mistaken the meaning of those strange
+words I had read?--was _death_ the cure which that mysterious
+vessel promised to those who drank of its contents? "When life becomes a
+burden, it is good to lay it down"; now too late the words of the
+father, when reproving me after my fever, came back to my mind in all
+their awful significance.
+
+All at once I heard a voice calling my name, and in a moment the tempest
+in me was stilled. Yes, it was my darling's voice--she was coming to
+me--she would save me in this dire extremity. Again and again she
+called, but the voice now sounded further and further away; and with
+ineffable anguish I remembered that she would not be able to see me
+where I sat. I tried to cry out, "Come quick, Yoletta, and save me from
+death!" but though I mentally repeated the words again and again in an
+extreme agony of terror, my frozen tongue refused to make a sound.
+Presently I heard a light, quick step on the floor, then Yoletta's clear
+voice.
+
+"Oh, I have found you at last!" she cried. "I have been seeking you all
+over the house. I have something glad to tell you--something to make you
+happier than on that day--do you remember?--when you saw me coming to
+you in the wood. The mother has left her chamber at last; she is in the
+Mother's Room again, waiting impatiently to see you. Come, come!"
+
+Her words sounded distinctly in my ears, and although I could not lift
+or turn my rigid eyes to see her, yet I seemed to see her now better
+than ever before, with some fresh glory, as of a new, unaccustomed
+gladness or excitement enhancing her unsurpassed loveliness, so clearly
+at that moment did her image shine in my soul! And not hers only, for
+now suddenly, by a miracle of the mind, the entire family appeared there
+before me; and in the midst sat Chastel, my sweet, suffering mother, as
+on that day after my illness when she had pardoned me, and put out her
+hand for me to kiss. As on that occasion, now--now she was gazing on me
+with such divine love and compassion in her eyes, her lips half parted,
+and a slight color flushing her pale face, recalling to it the bloom and
+radiance of which cruel disease had robbed her! And in my soul also, at
+that supreme moment, like a scene starting at the lightning's flash out
+of thick darkness, shone the image of the house, with all its wide,
+tranquil rooms rich in art and ancient memories, every stone within them
+glowing, with everlasting beauty--a house enduring as the green plains
+and rushing rivers and solemn woods and world-old hills amid which it
+was set like a sacred gem! O sweet abode of love and peace and purity of
+heart! O bliss surpassing that of the angels! O rich heritage, must I
+lose you for ever! Save me from death, Yoletta, my love, my bride--save
+me--save me--save me!
+
+Then something touched or fell on my neck, and at the same moment a
+deeper shadow passed over the page before me, with all its rich coloring
+floating formless, like vapors, mingling and separating, or dancing
+before my vision, like bright-winged insects hovering in the sunlight;
+and I knew that she was bending over me, her hand on my neck, her loose
+hair falling on my forehead.
+
+In that enforced stillness and silence I waited expectant for some
+moments.
+
+Then a great cry, as of one who suddenly sees a black phantom, rang out
+loud in the room, jarring my brain with the madness of its terror, and
+striking as with a hundred passionate hands on all the hidden harps in
+wall and roof; and the troubled sounds came back to me, now loud and now
+low, burdened with an infinite anguish and despair, as of voices of
+innumerable multitudes wandering in the sunless desolations of space,
+every voice reverberating anguish and despair; and the successive
+reverberations lifted me like waves and dropped me again, and the waves
+grew less and the sounds fainter, then fainter still, and died in
+everlasting silence.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Crystal Age, by W. H. Hudson
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