diff options
Diffstat (limited to '7358-h/7358-h.htm')
| -rw-r--r-- | 7358-h/7358-h.htm | 4598 |
1 files changed, 4598 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/7358-h/7358-h.htm b/7358-h/7358-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6448a29 --- /dev/null +++ b/7358-h/7358-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,4598 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<HTML> +<HEAD> +<TITLE>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Brought Home, by Hesba Stretton</TITLE> +<META HTTP-EQUIV="content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=us-ascii"> + <style type="text/css"> + <!-- + * { font-family: Times;} + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + font-size: 14pt; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + --> + </style> +</HEAD> +<BODY> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Brought Home, by Hesba Stretton + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Brought Home + +Author: Hesba Stretton + +Posting Date: October 14, 2012 [EBook #7358] +Release Date: January, 2005 +First Posted: April 20, 2003 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BROUGHT HOME *** + + + + +Produced by David Garcia, Tiffany Vergon, Juliet Sutherland, +Charles Franks, and the Online Distributed Proofreaders Team + + + + + + +</pre> + + + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h1> + BROUGHT HOME. + </h1> + <center> + <p> + BY + </p> + <p> + HESBA STRETTON. + </p> + </center> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + CONTENTS. + </h2> + <p> + <a href="#chapter01">CHAPTER I. UPTON RECTORY</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter02">CHAPTER II. ANN HOLLAND</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter03">CHAPTER III. WHAT WAS HER DUTY?</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter04">CHAPTER IV. A BABY'S GRAVE</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter05">CHAPTER V. TOWN'S TALK</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter06">CHAPTER VI. THE RECTOR'S RETURN</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter07">CHAPTER VII. WORSE THAN DEAD</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter08">CHAPTER VIII. HUSBAND AND WIFE</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter09">CHAPTER IX. SAD DAYS</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter10">CHAPTER X. A SIN AND A SHAME</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter11">CHAPTER XI. LOST</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter12">CHAPTER XII. A COLONIAL CURACY</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter13">CHAPTER XIII. SELF-SACRIFICE</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter14">CHAPTER XIV. FAREWELLS</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter15">CHAPTER XV. IN DESPAIR</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter16">CHAPTER XVI. A LONG VOYAGE</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter17">CHAPTER XVII. ALMOST SHIPWRECKED</a> + </p> + <p> + <a href="#chapter18">CHAPTER XVIII. SAVED</a> + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter01">CHAPTER I.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + UPTON RECTORY + </h3> + <p> + So quiet is the small market town of Upton, that it is + difficult to believe in the stir and din of London, which is + little more than an hour's journey from it. It is the + terminus of the single line of rails branching off from the + main line eight miles away, and along it three trains only + travel each way daily. The sleepy streets have old-fashioned + houses straggling along each side, with trees growing amongst + them; and here and there, down the roads leading into the the + country, which are half street, half lane, green plots of + daisied grass are still to be found, where there were once + open fields that have left a little legacy to the birds and + children of coming generations. Half the houses are still + largely built of wood from the forest of olden times that has + now disappeared; and ancient bow-windows jut out over the + side causeways. Some of the old exclusive mansions continue + to boast in a breastwork of stone pillars linked together by + chains of iron, intended as a defence against impertinent + intruders, but more often serving as safe swinging-places for + the young children sent to play in the streets. Perhaps of + all times of the year the little town looks its best on a + sunny autumn morning, with its fine film of mist, when the + chestnut leaves are golden, and slender threads of gossamer + are floating in the air, and heavy dews, white as the + hoar-frost, glisten in the sunshine. But at any season Upton + seems a tranquil, peaceful, out-of-the-world spot, having no + connection with busier and more wretched places. + </p> + <p> + There were not many real gentry, as the townsfolk called + them, living near. A few retired Londoners, weary of the + great city, and finding rents and living cheaper at Upton, + had settled in trim villas, built beyond the boundaries of + the town. But for the most part the population consisted of + substantial trades-people and professional men, whose + families had been represented there for several generations. + As usual the society was broken up into very small cliques; + no one household feeling itself exactly on the same social + equality as another; even as far down as the laundresses and + charwomen, who could tell whose husband or son had been + before the justices, and which families had escaped that + disgrace. The nearest approach to that equality and + fraternity of which we all hear so much and see so little, + was unfortunately to be found in the bar-parlor and + billiard-room of the Upton Arms; but even this was lost as + soon as the threshold was recrossed, and the boon-companions + of the interior breathed the air of the outer world. There + were several religious sects of considerable strength, and of + very decided antagonistic views; any one of whose members was + always ready to give the reason of the special creed that was + in him. So, what with a variety of domestic circumstances, + and a diversity of religious opinions, it is not to be + wondered at that the society of Upton was broken up into very + small circles indeed. + </p> + <p> + There was one point, however, on which all the townspeople + were united. There could be no doubt whatever as to the + beauty of the old Norman church, lying just beyond the + eastern boundary of the town; not mingling with its business, + but standing in a solemn quiet of its own, as if to guard the + repose of the sleepers under its shadow. The churchyard too, + was beautiful, with its grand and dusky old yew-trees, + spreading their broad sweeping branches like cedars, and with + many a bright colored flower-bed lying amongst the dark green + of the graves. The townspeople loved to stroll down to it in + the twilight, with half-stirred idle thoughts of better + things soothing away the worries and cares of the day. A + narrow meadow of glebe-land separated the churchyard from the + Rectory garden, a bank of flowers and turf sloping up to the + house. Nowhere could a more pleasant, home-like dwelling be + found, lightly covered with sweet-scented creeping plants, + which climbed up to the highest gable, and flung down long + sprays of blossom-laden branches to toss to and fro in the + air. Many a weary, bedinned Londoner had felt heart-sick at + the sight of its tranquillity and peace. + </p> + <p> + The people of Upton, great and small, conformist or + nonconformist, were proud of their rector. It was no unusual + sight for a dozen or more carriages from a distance to be + seen waiting at the church door for the close of the service, + not only on a Sunday morning, when custom demands the + observance, but even in the afternoon, when public worship is + usually left to servant-maids. There was not a seat to be had + for love or money, either by gentle or simple, after the + reading of the Psalms had begun. The Dissenters themselves + were accustomed to attend church occasionally, with a + half-guilty sense, not altogether unpleasant, of acting + against their principles. But then the rector was always on + friendly terms with them: and made no distinction, in + distributing Christmas charities, between the poor old folks + who went to church or to chapel, Or, as it was said + regretfully, to no place at all. He had his failings; but the + one point on which all Upton agreed was, that their church + and rector were the best between that town and London. + </p> + <p> + It was a hard struggle with David Chantrey, this beloved + rector of Upton, to resolve upon leaving his parish, though + only for a time, when his physicians strenuously urged him to + spend two winters, and the intervening summer, in Madeira. + Very definitely they assured him that such an absence was his + only chance of assuring a fair share of the ordinary term of + human life. But it was a difficult thing to do, apart from + the hardness of the struggle; and the difficulty just verged + upon an impossibility. The living was not a rich one, its + whole income being a little under £400 a year. Now, + when he had provided a salary for the curate who must take + his duty, and decided upon the smallest sum necessary for his + own expenses, the remainder, in whatever way the sum was + worked, was clearly quite insufficient for the maintenance of + his young wife and child. They could not go with him; that + was impossible. But how were they to live whilst he was away? + No doubt, if his difficulty had been known, there were many + wealthy people among his friends who would gladly have + removed it; but not one of them even guessed at it. Was not + Mrs. Bolton, the widow of the late archdeacon, and the + richest woman in Upton, own aunt to the rector, David + Chantrey? + </p> + <p> + Next to Mr. Chantrey himself, Mrs. Bolton was the most + eminent personage in Upton. She had settled there upon the + archdeacon's death, which happened immediately after he had + obtained the living for his wife's favorite nephew. For some + years she had been the only lady connected with the rector, + and had acted as his female representative. There was neither + mansion nor cottage which she had not visited. The high were + her associates; the low her proteges, for whose souls she + labored. She was at the head of all charitable agencies and + benevolent societies. Nothing could be set on foot in Upton + under any other patronage. She was active, untiring, and not + very susceptible. So early and so completely had she obtained + the little sovereignty she had assumed, that when the + rightful queen came there was no room for her. The rector's + wife was only known as a pretty and pleasant-spoken young + lady, who left all the parish affairs in Mrs. Bolton's hands. + </p> + <p> + It is not to be wondered at, then, that no one guessed at + David Chantrey's difficulty, though everybody knew the exact + amount of his income. Neither he nor his wife hinted at it. + Sophy Chantrey would have freely given the world, had it been + hers, to accompany her husband; but there was no chance of + that. A friend was going out on the same doleful search for + health; and the two were to take charge of each other. But + how to live at all while David was away? She urged that she + could manage very well on seventy or eighty pounds a year, if + she and her boy went to some cheap lodgings in a strange + neighborhood, where nobody knew them; but her husband would + not listen to such a plan. The worry and fret of his brain + had grown almost to fever-height, when his aunt made a + proposal, which he accepted in impatient haste. This was that + Sophy should make her home at Bolton Villa for the full time + of his absence; on condition that Charlie, a boy of seven + years old, full of life and spirits, should be sent to school + for the same term. + </p> + <p> + Sophy rebelled for a little while, but in vain. In thinking + of the eighteen long and dreary months her husband would be + away, she had counted upon having the consolation of her + child's companionship. But no other scheme presented itself; + and she felt the sacrifice must be made for David's sake. A + suitable school was found for Charlie; and he was placed in + it a day or two before she had to journey down to Southampton + with her husband. No soul on deck that day was more sorrowful + than hers. David's hollow cheeks, and thin, stooping frame, + and the feeble hand that clasped hers till the last moment, + made the hope of ever seeing him again seem a mad folly. Her + sick heart refused to be comforted. He was sanguine, and + spoke almost gayly of his return; but she was filled with + anguish. A strong persuasion seized upon her that she should + see his face no more; and when the bitter moment of parting + was over, she travelled back alone, heart-stricken and + crushed in spirit, to her new home under Mrs. Bolton's roof. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter02">CHAPTER II.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + ANN HOLLAND + </h3> + <p> + Bolton Villa was not more than a stone's throw from the + rectory and the church. Sophy could hear the same shrieks of + the martins wheeling about the tower, and the same wintry + chant of the robins amid the ivy creeping up it. The familiar + striking of the church clock and the chime of the bells rang + alike through the windows of both houses. But there was no + sound of her husband's voice and no merry shout of Charlie's, + and the difference was appalling to her. She could not endure + it. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Bolton was exceedingly proud of her villa. It had been + bought expressly to please her by the late archdeacon, and + altered under her own superintendence. Her tastes and wishes + had been studied throughout. The interior was something like + a diary of her life. The broad oak staircase was decorated + with flags and banners from all the countries she had + travelled through; souvenirs labelled with the names of every + town she had visited, and the date of that event, lay + scattered about. The entrance-hall, darkened by the heavy + banners on the staircase, was a museum of curiosities + collected by herself. The corners and niches were filled with + plaster casts of famous statuary, which were supposed to look + as fine as their marble originals in the gloom surrounding + them. Every room was crowded with ornaments and knick-knacks, + all of which had some association with herself. Even those + apartments not seen by guests were no less encumbered with + mementoes that had been discarded from time to time in favor + of newer treasures. Mrs. Bolton never dared to change her + servants, and it cannot be wondered at, that while offering a + home to her nephew's wife, she could not extend her + invitation to a mischievous boy of seven. + </p> + <p> + But however interesting Bolton Villa might be to its + mistress, it was not altogether a home favorable for the + recovery of a bowed-down spirit, though Mrs. Bolton could not + understand why Sophy, surrounded with so many blessings and + with so much to be thankful for, should fall into a low, + nervous fever shortly after she had parted with her husband + and child. The house was quiet, fearfully quiet to Sophy. + There was a depressing hush about it altogether different + from the cheerful tranquillity of her own home. Very few + visitors broke through its monotony, for Mrs. Bolton's social + pinnacle was too high above her immediate neighbors for them + to climb up to it; whilst those whose station was somewhat on + a level with hers lived too faraway, or were too young and + frivolous for friendly intercourse. There were formal + dinner-parties at stated intervals, and occasionally a + neighboring clergyman to be entertained. But these came few + and far between, and Sophy Chantrey found herself very much + alone amid the banners and souvenirs that banished her boy + from the house. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Bolton herself was very often away. There was always + something to be done in the parish which should by right have + been Sophy's work, but her aunt had always discouraged any + interference and David had been quite content to keep her to + himself, as there was so able a substitute for her in the + ordinary duties of a clergyman's wife. She had made but few + acquaintances, and it was generally understood that Mrs. + Chantrey was quite a cipher. No one ever expected her to + become prominent in Upton. + </p> + <p> + About half-way down the High street of Upton stood a small + old-fashioned saddler's shop, the door of which was divided + across the middle, so as to form two parts, the upper one + always thrown open. Above the doorway, under a low-gabled + roof, hung a cracked and mouldering sign-board, bearing the + words "Ann Holland, Saddler." All the letters were faded, yet + a keen eye might detect that the name "Ann" was more distinct + than the others, as if painted at a later date. Within the + shop an old journeyman was always to be seen, busy at his + trade, and taking no heed of any customer coming in, unless + the ringing of a bell on the lower half of the door remained + unnoticed, when he would shamble away to call his mistress. + In an evening after the twilight had set in, and it was too + dark for her own ornamental stitching of the saddlery. Ann + Holland was often to be found leaning over the half-door of + her shop, and ready to exchange a friendly good-night, or a + more lengthy conversation, with her townsfolk as they passed + to and fro. She was a rosy, cheery-looking woman, still under + fifty, with a pleasant voice and a friendly word for every + one, and it was well known that she had refused several + offers of marriage, some of them very eligible for a person + of her station. There was not one of the townspeople she had + not known from their earliest appearance in Upton, and she + had the pedigree of all the families, high and low, at her + finger-ends. New-comers she could only tolerate until they + had lived respectably and paid their debts punctually for a + good number of years. She had a kindly love of gossip, a + simple real interest in the fortunes of all about her. There + was little else for her to think of, for books and newspapers + came seldom in her way, and were often far above her + comprehension when they did, Upton news that would bring + tears to her eyes or a laugh to her lips was the food her + mind lived upon. Ann Holland was almost as general a favorite + as the rector himself. + </p> + <p> + It was some months after David Chantrey had gone to Madeira + that Ann Holland was lingering late one evening over her + door, watching the little street subside into the quietness + of night. The wife of one of her best customers was passing + by, and stopped to speak to her. + </p> + <p> + "Have you happened to hear any talk of Mrs. Chantrey?" she + asked. Her voice fell into a low and mysterious tone, and she + glanced up and down the street lest any one should chance to + be within hearing. Ann Holland quickly guessed there was + something important to be told, and she opened the half door + to her neighbor. + </p> + <p> + "Come in, Mrs. Brown," she said; "Richard's not at home yet." + </p> + <p> + She led the way into the room behind the shop, as pleasant a + place as any in all Upton, except for the scent of the + leather, which she had grown so used to that its absence + would have seemed a loss. It was a kitchen spotlessly clean, + with an old-fashioned polished dresser and shelves above it + filled with pewter plates and dishes, upon which every gleam + of firelight twinkled. A tall mahogany clock, with its head + against the ceiling, and the round, good-humored face of a + full moon beaming above its dial-plate, stood in one corner; + while in the opposite one there was a corner cupboard with + glass doors, filled with antique china cups and tea-pots, and + a Chinese mandarin that never ceased to roll its head to and + fro helplessly. Bean-pots of flowers, as Ann Holland called + them, covered the broad window-sill; and a screen, adorned + with fragments of old ballads, and with newspaper + announcements of births, deaths, and marriages among Upton + people, was drawn across the outer door, which opened into a + little garden at the back of the house. There was a miniature + parlor behind the kitchen, filled with furniture worked in + tent stitch by Ann Holland's mother, and carefully covered + with white dimity; but it was only entered on most important + occasions. Even Mr. Chantrey had never yet been invited into + it; for any event short of a solemn crisis the kitchen was + considered good enough. + </p> + <p> + "You haven't heard anything of Mrs. Chantrey, then?" repeated + Mrs. Brown, still in low and important tones, as she seated + herself in a three-cornered chair, a seat of honor rather + than of ease, as one could not get a comfortable position + without sitting sideways. + </p> + <p> + "No, nothing," answered. Ann Holland; "nothing bad about Mr. + Chantrey, I hope. Have they had any bad news of him?" + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Brown was first cousin to Mrs. Bolton's butler, and was + naturally regarded as an oracle with regard to all that went + on at Bolton Villa. + </p> + <p> + "Oh no, he's all right: not him, but her," she answered, + almost in a whisper; "I can't say for certain it's true, for + Cousin James purses up his mouth ever so when it's spoken, + of; but cook swears to it, and he doesn't deny it, you know. + I shouldn't like it to go any farther; but I can depend on + yon, Miss Holland. A trusted woman like you must be choked up + with secrets, I'm sure. I often and often say, Ann Holland + knows some things, and could tell them, too, if she'd only + open her lips." + </p> + <p> + "You're right, Mrs. Brown," said Ann Holland, with a + gratified smile; "you may trust me with any secret." + </p> + <p> + "Well, then, they say," continued Mrs. Brown, "that Mrs. + Chantrey takes more than is good for her. She's getting fond + of it, you know; anything that'll excite her; and ladies, can + get all sorts of things, worse for them a dozen times than + what poor folks take. They say she doesn't know what she's + saying often." + </p> + <p> + "Dear, dear!" cried Ann Holland, in a sorrowful voice; "it + can't be true, and Mr. Chantrey away! She's such a sweet + pleasant-spoken young lady; I could never think it of her. He + brought her here the very first week after they came to + Upton, and she sat in that very chair you're set on, Mrs. + Brown, and I thought her the prettiest picture I'd seen for + many a year; and so did he, I'm sure. It can't be true, and + him such a good man, and such a preacher as he is, with all + the gentry round coming in their carnages to church." + </p> + <p> + "Well, it mayn't be true," answered Mrs. Brown, slowly, as if + the arguments used by Ann Holland were almost weighty enough + to outbalance the cook's evidence; "I hope it isn't true, I'm + sure. But they say at Bolton Villa it's a awful lonely life + she do lead without Master Charlie, and Mrs. Bolton away so + much. It 'ud give me the horrors, I know, to live in that + house with all those white plaster men and women as big as + life, standing everywhere about staring at you with blind + eyes. I should want something to keep up my spirits. But I'm + sure nobody could be sorrier than me if it turned out to be + true." + </p> + <p> + "Sorry!" exclaimed Ann Holland, "why, I'd cut my right hand + off to prevent it being true. No words can tell how good Mr. + Chantrey's been to me. Everybody knows what my poor brother + is, and how he'll drink and drink for weeks together. Well, + Mr. Chantrey's turned in here of an evening, and if Richard + was away at the Upton Arms, he's gone after him into the very + bar-room itself, and brought him home, just guiding him and + handling him like a baby, poor fellow! Often and often he's + promised to take the pledge with Richard, but he never could + get him to say Yes. No, no! I'd go through fire and water + before that should be true." + </p> + <p> + "Nobody could be sorrier than me," persisted Mrs. Brown, + somewhat offended at Ann Holland's vehemence; "I've only told + you hearsay, but it comes direct from the cook, and Cousin + James only pursed up his mouth. I don't say it's true or it's + not true, but nobody in Upton could be sorrier than me if my + words come correct. It can't be hidden under a bushel very + long, Miss Holland; but I hope as much as you do that it + isn't true." + </p> + <p> + Yet there was an undertone of conviction in Mrs. Brown's + manner of speaking that grieved Ann Holland sorely. She + accompanied her departing guest to the door, and long after + she was out of sight stood looking vacantly down the darkened + street. There was little light or sound there now, except in + the Upton Arms, where the windows glistened brightly, and the + merry tinkling of a violin sounded through the open door. Her + brother was there, she knew, and would not be home before + midnight. He had been less manageable since Mr. Chantrey went + away. + </p> + <p> + She could not bear to think of Mrs. Chantrey falling into the + same sin. The delicate, pretty, refined young lady degrading + herself to the level of the poor drunken wretch she called + her brother! Ann Holland could not and would not believe it; + it seemed too monstrous a scandal to deserve a moment's + anxiety. Yet when she went back into her lonely kitchen, her + eyes were dim with tears, partly for her brother and partly + for Sophy Chantrey. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter03">CHAPTER III.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + WHAT WAS HER DUTY? + </h3> + <p> + Ann Holland was a great favorite with Mrs. Bolton. The + elderly, old-fashioned woman held firmly to all old-fashioned + ways; knew her duty to God and her duty to her neighbor, as + taught by the Church Catechism, and faithfully fulfilled them + to the best of her power. She ordered herself lowly and + reverently to all her betters, especially to the widow of an + archdeacon. No new-fangled, radical notions, such as her + drunken brother picked up, could find any encouragement from + her. Mrs. Bolton always enjoyed an interview with her, so + marked was her deference. She had occasionally condescended + to visit Ann Holland in her kitchen, and sit on the + projecting angle of the three-cornered chair, a favor duly + appreciated by her delighted hostess. Mr. Chantrey ran in + often, as he was passing by, partly because he felt a real + friendship, for the true-hearted, struggling old maid, and + partly to see after her good-for-nothing brother. As Ann + Holland had said herself, she was ready to go through fire + and water for the sake of these friends and patrons of hers, + whose kindness was the brightest element in her life. + </p> + <p> + After much tearful deliberation, she received upon the daring + step of going to Bolton Villa, on an errand to Mrs. Bolton, + with a vague hope that she might discover how false this + cruel scandal was. There was a bridle of Mrs. Bolton's in the + shop, which had been sent for a new curb, and she would take + it home herself. Early the next afternoon, therefore. she + clad herself in her best Sunday clothes, and made her way + slowly along the streets toward the church. It was but slowly + for she rarely went out on a week day, when her neighbors' + shops were open; and there were too many attractions in the + windows for even her anxiety and consciousness of a solemn + mission to resist altogether. + </p> + <p> + The church and the rectory looked so peaceful amid the trees, + just tinged with the hues of autumn, that Ann Holland's + spirits insensibly revived. There was little sign of life + about the rectory, for no one was living in it at present but + Mr. Warden, the clergyman who had taken Mr. Chantrey's duty. + Ann Holland opened the church-yard gate and strolled + pensively up among the graves to the porch, that she might + rest a little and ponder over what she should say to Mrs. + Bolton. There was not a grave there that she did not know; + those lying under many of the grassy sods were as familiar to + her as the men and women now in full life in the neighboring + town. Just within sight, near the vestry window was a little + mound covered with flowers, where she had seen a little child + of David and Sophy Chantrey's laid to rest. A narrow path was + worn up to it; more bare and trodden than before Mr. Chantrey + had gone away. Ann Holland knew as well as if she had seen + her, that the poor solitary mother had worn the grass away. + </p> + <p> + The church door was open; for Mr. Warden had chosen to make + the vestry his study, and had intimated to all the parish + that there he might generally be found if any one among them + wished to see him in any difficulty or sorrow. Though this + was well known, no one of Mr. Chantrey's parishioners had + gone to him for counsel; for he was a grave, stern, silent + man, whose opinion it was difficult to guess at and + impossible to fathom. He was unmarried, and kept no servant, + except the housekeeper who had been left in charge of the + rectory. All society he avoided, especially that of women. + His abruptness and shyness in their presence was painful both + to himself and them. To Mrs. Bolton, however, he was + studiously civil, and to Sophy, his friend's wife, he would + gladly have shown kindness and sympathy, if he had only known + how. He often watched her tracing the narrow footworn track + to her baby's grave, and he longed to speak some friendly + words of comfort to her, but none came to his mind when they + encountered each other. No one in Upton, except Ann Holland, + had seen, as he had, how thin and wan her face grew; nor had + any one noticed as soon as he had done the strangeness of her + manner at times, the unsteadiness of her step, and the flush + upon her face, as she now and then passed to and fro under + the yew-trees. But he had never had the courage to speak to + her at such moments; and there was only a mournful suspicion + and dread in his heart, which he did his best to hide from + himself. + </p> + <p> + This afternoon Mrs. Bolton had sought him in the vestry, + where he had been silently brooding over his parish and its + sins and sorrows, in the dim, green light shining through the + lattice window, which was thickly overgrown with ivy. Mrs. + Bolton was a handsome woman still, always handsomely dressed, + as became a wealthy archdeacon's widow. Her presence seemed + to fill up the little vestry; and as she occupied his old, + high-backed chair, Mr. Warden stood opposite to her, looking + down painfully and shyly at the floor on which he stood, + rather than at the distinguished personage who was visiting + him. + </p> + <p> + "I come to you," she said, in a decisive, emphatic voice, "as + a clergyman, as well as my nephew's confidential friend. What + I say to you must go no farther than ourselves. We have no + confessional in our church, thank Heaven! but that which is + confided to a clergyman, even to a curate, ought to be as + sacred as a confession." + </p> + <p> + "Certainly," answered Mr. Warden, with painful abruptness. + </p> + <p> + "Sacred as a confession!" repeated Mrs. Bolton. "I must tell + you, then, that I am in the greatest trouble about my + nephew's wife. You know how ill she was last winter, after he + went away. A low, nervous fever, which hung over her for + months. She would not listen to my telling David about it, + and, indeed, I was reluctant to distress and disturb him + about a matter that he could not help. But she is very + strange now; very strange and flighty. Possibly you may have + observed some change in her?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," he replied, still looking down on the floor, but + seeing a vision of Sophy pacing the beaten track to the + little grave under the vestry window. + </p> + <p> + "When she was at the worst," pursued Mrs. Bolton, "and I had + the best advice in London for her, she was ordered to take + the best wine we could get. I told Brown to bring out for her + use some very choice port, purchased by the archdeacon years + ago. She must have perished without it; but + unfortunately—I speak to you as her pastor, in + confidence—she has grown fond of it." + </p> + <p> + "Fond of it?" repeated Mr. Warden. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," she answered, emphatically; "I leave the cellar + entirely in Brown's charge; a very trusty servant; and I find + that Mrs. Chantrey has lately been in the habit of getting a + great deal too much from him. But she will take anything she + can get that will either stupefy or excite her. She never + writes to David until her spirits are raised by stimulants of + one kind or another. It is a temptation I cannot understand. + I take a proper quantity, just as when the archdeacon was + alive, and I never think of exceeding that. I need no more, + and I desire no more. But Mrs. Chantrey grows quite excited, + almost violent at times. It makes me more anxious than words + can express." + </p> + <p> + There was a long pause, Mr. Warden neither lifting his head + nor opening his mouth. His pale face flushed a little, and + his lips quivered. David Chantrey was his dearest friend, and + an almost intolerable sense of shame and dread kept him + silent. His wife, of whom he always spoke so tenderly in all + his letters to him! The very spot where he was listening to + this charge against her, David's vestry, seemed to deepen the + shame of it, and the unutterable sorrow, if it should be + true. + </p> + <p> + "What would you counsel me to do?" asked Mrs. Bolton, after a + time. "Must I write to my nephew and tell him?" + </p> + <p> + "Do!" he cried, with sudden eagerness and emphasis; "do! Take + the temptation out of her way at once. Let everything of the + kind be removed from the house. Let no one touch it, or + mention it in her presence. Guard her as you would guard a + child from taking deadly poison." + </p> + <p> + "Impossible!" exclaimed Mrs. Bolton. "Have no wine in my + house? You forget my station and its duties, Mr. Warden, I + must give dinner parties occasionally; I must allow beer to + my servants. It is absurd. Nobody could expect me to take + such a step as that." + </p> + <p> + "Listen to me," he said, earnestly, and with an authority + quite at variance with his ordinary shyness. "I do not + venture to hope for any other remedy. I have known men, ay, + and women, who have not dared to pass close by the doors of a + tavern for fear lest they should catch but the smell of it, + and become brutes again in spite of themselves. Others have + not dared even to think of it. If Mrs. Chantrey be falling + into this sin, there is no other course for you to pursue + than to banish it from your table, and, if possible, from + your house. It is better for her to die, if needs be, than to + live a drunkard." + </p> + <p> + "A drunkard!" echoed Mrs. Bolton. "I am sure I never used + such a word about Sophy. I cannot believe it possible that my + nephew's wife, a clergyman's wife, could become a drunkard, + like a woman of the lowest classes! And I cannot understand + how you, a clergyman, could seriously propose so + extraordinary a step. Why, there is no danger to me; nobody + could ever suspect me of being fond of wine. I have taken it + in moderation all my life, and I cannot believe it is my duty + to give it up altogether at my age." + </p> + <p> + "Very possibly it has never been your duty before," answered + Mr. Warden, "and now I urge it, not for your own sake, but + for hers. She has fallen into the snare blindfolded, and you + can extricate her, though at some cost to yourself. I feel + persuaded you can induce her to abstain, if you will do so + yourself. You call yourself a Christian—" + </p> + <p> + "I should think there can be no doubt about that," she + interrupted, indignantly; "the archdeacon never expressed any + doubt about it, and surely I may depend upon his judgment." + </p> + <p> + "Forgive me," said Mr. Warden. "I ought to have said you are + a Christian, and a Christian is one who follows his Lord's + example." + </p> + <p> + "Who drank wine himself, and blessed it," interposed Mrs. + Bolton, in a tone of triumph. + </p> + <p> + "The great law of whose life was self-sacrifice," he pursued. + "If one of his brethren or sisters had been a drunkard, can + you think of him filling up his own cup with wine and + drinking it, as they sat side by side at the same table?" + </p> + <p> + "I should be shocked at imagining anything so presumptuous, + not to call it blasphemous," she said. "We can only go by the + plain words of Scripture, which tell us that He turned water + into wine, and that He drank wine Himself. I am not afraid of + going by the plain words of Scripture." + </p> + <p> + "But we have only fragments of His history," replied Mr. + Warden, "and only a few verses of His teachings. Would you + say that Paul had more of the spirit of self-sacrifice than + Christ? Yet he said, 'It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to + drink wine, nor anything whereby thy brother stumbleth.' And + again, 'If meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no + flesh while the world standeth.' If the servant spoke so, + what do you think the Master would have answered if any one + had asked Him, 'Lord, what shall I do to save my brother from + drunkenness?' It will be a self-denial to you; people will + wonder at it, and talk about you; yet I say, if you would + truly follow your Lord and Saviour, there is no choice for + you. You can save a soul for whom Christ died; and is it + possible that you can refuse to do it?" + </p> + <p> + "I thought," said Mrs. Bolton, "that you would expostulate + with her, and warn her as her pastor; and I cannot but + believe that, now I have made it known to you, you are + responsible for her—at least more responsible than I + am. You must use your influence with her; and if she is deaf + to reason, we have done all we could." + </p> + <p> + "I cannot accept the responsibility," he answered, in a tone + of pain. "If she were dwelling under my roof, it would be + mine; but I cannot take your share of it. As your pastor, I + place your duty before you, and you cannot neglect it without + peril. As a snare to her soul it has become an accursed thing + in your household; and I warn you of it most earnestly, + beseeching you to hear in time to save yourself, and her, and + David from misery!" + </p> + <p> + "Mr. Warden," exclaimed Mrs. Bolton, "I am astonished at your + fanaticism!" + </p> + <p> + She had risen from her chair, and was about to sail out of + the vestry with an air of outraged dignity, when Mr. Warden + said, in a low tone, and with a heavy sigh, "See, there she + is!" + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Bolton paused and turned toward the window, which + overlooked the little grave of her nephew's child, who had + been very dear to herself. Sophy had just sunk down beside + it. There was a slight strangeness and disorder about her + appearance, which no stranger might have noticed, but which + could not fail to strike both of them. She looked dejected + and unhappy, and hid her face in her hands, as though she + felt their gaze upon her. The clergyman laid his hand upon + Mrs. Bolton's arm with an unconscious pressure, and looked + earnestly into her clouded face. + </p> + <p> + "Look!" he said. "In Christ's name, I implore you to save + her." + </p> + <p> + "I will do what I can," she answered impatiently, "but I + cannot take your way to do it; it is irrational." + </p> + <p> + "There is no other way," he said mournfully, "and I warn you + of it." + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter04">CHAPTER IV.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + A BABY'S GRAVE + </h3> + <p> + Sophy Chantrey had strayed absently down to the churchyard in + one of those fits of restlessness and nervous despondency + which made it impossible to her to remain in the overcrowded + rooms of Bolton Villa or in the trim flower-garden + surrounding it. There was a continual vague sense of misery + in her lot, which she had not strength enough to cast off; + but at this moment she was not consciously mourning either + for her lost little one or for the absence of her husband and + boy. The sharpness and bitterness of her trouble were dulled, + and her brain was confused. Even this was a relief from the + heavy-heartedness that oppressed her at other times, and she + felt a comparative comfort in sitting half-asleep by her + child's grave, dreaming confusedly of happier days. She + started almost fretfully when Ann Holland's voice broke in + upon her drowsy languor. + </p> + <p> + "Begging your pardon, Mrs. Chantrey," she said, "but I + thought I might make bold to ask what news you've had from + Mr. Chantrey in Madeira?" + </p> + <p> + "David!" she answered absently; "David! Oh yes, I see. You + are Miss Holland, and he was always fond of you. Do you + remember him bringing me to see you just after our marriage? + He is getting quite well very fast, thank you. It is only + eight months now till he comes home; but that is a long + time." + </p> + <p> + The tears had gathered in her blue eyes, and fell one after + another down her cheeks as she looked up pitifully into Ann + Holland's kindly face. + </p> + <p> + "Ah! it is a long time, my dear," she replied, sitting down + beside her, though she had some dread of the damp grass; "but + we must all of us have patience, you know, and hope on, hope + ever. Dear, dear! to think how overjoyed he'll be, and how + happy all the folks in Upton will be, when he comes back! It + was hard to part with him; but when we see him again, strong + and hearty, all that'll be forgot." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, I've missed him so!" cried Sophy, with a burst of tears; + "I've been so solitary without him or Charlie. You cannot + think what it is. Sometimes I feel as if they were both dead, + and I was doomed to live here without them for ever and ever. + Everything seems ended. It is a dreadful feeling." + </p> + <p> + "And then, dear love," said Ann Holland, in her quietest + tones, "I know you just fall down on your knees, and tell God + all about it. That's how I do when my poor brother behaves so + bad, taking every penny, and pawning or selling all he can + lay hands on, to spend in drink. But you know better than me, + with all your learning, and music, and painting, and pretty + manners, let alone being a clergyman's wife; and when you are + that lonesome and sorrowful, you kneel down and tell God all + about it." + </p> + <p> + "No, no," sobbed Sophy, hiding her face again in her hands; + "I am so miserable—too miserable to be good, as I used + to be when David was at home." + </p> + <p> + The almost pleasant drowsiness was over now, and a swift tide + of thought and memory swept through her brain. The gulf on + whose verge she stood seemed to open before her, and she + looked down into it shudderingly. She could recollect the + temptation assailing her once before, when her baby died; but + then her husband was beside her, and his presence had saved + her, though not even he had guessed at her danger. What could + save her now, alone, with a perpetual weariness of spirit, + and a feeling of physical weakness amounting to positive + pain? Yet if she went but a few steps forward, she would sink + into the gloomy depths, which for the moment her quickened + conscience could so clearly perceive. If David could but be + at home now! If she could but have her little son to occupy + her time and thoughts! + </p> + <p> + "Dear, dear!" said Ann Holland's low and tender voice; + "nobody's too miserable for God not to love them. Why, a poor + thing like me can love my brother when he's as bad as bad can + be with drink. I could do anything for him out of pity; and + it's hard to think less of Him that made us. Sure He knows + how difficult it is to be good when we are miserable; and we + can't tire Him out. He'll help us out of our misery if we + keep stretching out our hands to Him. Nobody knows but Him + what we've all got to go through. It's because you're + lonesome, and fretting after old days. But they'll come back + again, dear love and we'll all be as happy as happy can be. I + know how you miss Mr. Chantrey, for I miss him badly, and + what must it be for you?" + </p> + <p> + Sophy lifted up her face, wet with tears, yet with a smile + breaking through them. Ann Holland's simple words of comfort + and hope had gone direct to her heart, and it seemed possible + for her to wait patiently now until David came home. + </p> + <p> + "You've done me good," she said, "and I shall tell David next + time I write to him." + </p> + <p> + "Dear, dear!" said Ann Holland, with a tone of surprise and + pleasure in her voice, "couldn't I do something better for + you? Couldn't I just go over to Master Charlie's school, and + take him a cake and a little whip out of the shop? It would + do me good, worlds of good; and he'd be glad, poor little + fellow! Mr. Chantrey's so good to my poor brother; he'd save + him from drink if he'd be saved, I know. I'd do anything for + your sake or Mr. Chantrey's. But there's Mrs. Bolton coming + out of the church, and I've a little business with her; so + I'll say good-day to you now, Mrs. Chantrey." + </p> + <p> + If at this point of her life Sophy Chantrey could have been + removed from the daily temptations which beset her, most + probably she would not have fallen lower into the degrading + sin, which was quickly becoming a habit. Until her husband's + enforced absence, she had been so carefully hedged in by the + numberless small barriers of a girl's sphere, so guided and + managed for by those about her, that it had been hardly + possible for any sore temptation to come near her. But now + suddenly cut adrift from her quiet moorings, she found + herself powerless to keep out of the rapid current which must + plunge her into deep misery and vice. There had not been a + doubt in her mind that she was not a real Christian, for she + had freely given a sentimental faith to the Christian dogmas + propounded to her by persons whom she held to be wiser and + better than herself. In the same manner she had taken the + customs and usages of modern life, always feeling satisfied + to do what others of her own class and rank did. Even now, + though she was conscious that there was some danger for + herself, she could not realize the half of the peril in which + she stood. After Ann Holland left her she lingered still + beside the little grave in a tranquil but somewhat + purposeless reverie. There could be no harm, she thought, in + taking just enough to deliver her from her very worst moments + of depression, or when she had to write cheerfully to her + husband. That was a duty, and she must keep a stricter guard + over herself than she had done lately. She would take exactly + what her aunt Bolton drank, and then she could not go wrong. + With this resolution she gathered a flower from the little + grave beside her, and, turning away, hastened out of the + churchyard. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Warden had scarcely glanced through the vestry window + since Mrs. Bolton had gone away in anger, but he was well + aware of Sophy's lingering beside the grave. He felt crushed + and unhappy. His friend Chantrey had solemnly committed the + parish to his care, and he to the utmost of his power had + strenuously fulfilled his duties. But what was he to do with + this new case? Except under strong excitement his + constitutional shyness kept him dumb, and how was he to + venture to expostulate with his friend's wife upon such a + subject? It seemed to be his duty to do something to prevent + this lonely and sorrowful girl from drifting into a + commonplace and degrading phase of sin. But how was he to + begin? How could he even hint at such a suspicion? Besides, + he could do nothing to remove her out of temptation. So long + as Mrs. Bolton persisted in her angry refusal to follow his + advice, she must be exposed daily to indulge an appetite + which she had not the firmness to resist. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter05">CHAPTER V.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + TOWN'S TALK + </h3> + <p> + Perhaps no two persons, outside that nearest circle of + kinship which surrounds us all, ever suffered more grief and + anxiety in witnessing the slow but sure downfall of a + fellow-being, than did Mr. Warden and Ann Holland while + watching the gradual working of the curse that was destroying + David Chantrey's wife. + </p> + <p> + It was a miserable time for Mr. Warden. Now and then he + accepted Mrs. Bolton's formal invitations to dine with her, + and those few acquaintances who were considered worthy to + visit at Bolton Villa. On the first occasion he had gone with + a faint hope that she had thought over his advice, and + resolved to act upon it. But there had been no such result of + his solemn warning, which had been so painful to him to + deliver. He abstained from taking wine himself, as he + believed Christ would have done for the sake of any one so + tempted to sin; but his example had no weight. There was a + pleasant jest or two at his asceticism, and that was all, + Sophy Chantrey took wine as the others did; and, in spite of + her resolution, more than the others did; whilst Mrs. Bolton + raised her eyebrows, and drew down the corners of her lips, + with an air of rebuke. No one knew the meaning of that look + except Mr. Warden. The other guests were only entertained by + Mrs. Chantrey's fine flow of merry humor, and remarked how + well she bore her husband's absence. + </p> + <p> + "You saw her, Mr. Warden?" said Mrs. Bolton to him, in a low + voice, when they reassembled in the drawing-room. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," he answered, sorrowfully. + </p> + <p> + "You saw how I looked at her as much as to warn her," pursued + Mrs. Bolton. "I am sure she understood me, yet she allowed + Brown to fill her glass again and again. What could I do + more? I have spoken to her in private; I could not speak to + her before our friends." + </p> + <p> + "I have told you before," he answered, "there is only one + thing you can do, and you refuse to do it." + </p> + <p> + "It would be ridiculous to do it," she said, sharply. "I am + not going to make myself a laughing-stock to all the world; + and I cannot shut her up in her room, and send her meals to + her like a naughty child. You ought to remonstrate with her." + </p> + <p> + "I will," he replied, "but it will be of little use, so long + as the temptation is there. Have you seriously and + prayerfully thought of your own duty as a Christian, in this + case? Are you quite sure you are acting as Christ himself + would have done?" + </p> + <p> + "None of us can act as He would have, done," she answered, + moving from away him. Yet her conscience was uneasy. There + was, of a truth, no doubt in her mind as to what the Lord + would have done. Yet she could not break through the habits + of a lifetime; no, not even to save the wife of her favorite + nephew. She did not like to give up the hospitable custom. + Her wines were good, bought from the archdeacon's own + wine-merchant, and she enjoyed them herself, and liked to + hear her guests praise them. No question as to the lawfulness + of such an enjoyment had ever arisen before now; but now it + troubled her secretly, though she was resolved not to give + way. If Sophy Chantrey could not keep within proper limits, + it was no fault of hers, and no one could blame her for + preserving a harmless custom. + </p> + <p> + It was not long before Mr. Warden found an opportunity of + speaking to Sophy, though it was an agony to him to do it. A + few words only were spoken before she knew what he meant to + say, and she interrupted him passionately. + </p> + <p> + "Oh! if David was but here!" she cried, "I could keep right + then. But I cannot bear it; indeed, I cannot bear it. The + house is so dreary, and there is nothing for me to think of; + and then I begin to go down, down into such a misery you do + not know anything of. I think I should go mad without it; and + after I have taken it, I feel mad with shame. Aunt Bolton has + told me what she said to you; and I can hardly bear to look + either of you in the face. What shall I do?" + </p> + <p> + "You must break yourself of the habit," he said pitifully; + "God will help you, if you only keep Him in your thoughts. + Promise me you will neither taste it, nor look at it again, + and I will take the same solemn pledge with you now, before + God." + </p> + <p> + "It would be of no use," she answered, in a hopeless tone, + "the instant I see it, I long for it; and I cannot resist the + longing. I've vowed on my knees not to take any for a day + only; and the moment I have sat down to dinner, I could + hardly bear to wait till Brown comes around. If I wake in the + night—and I wake so often!—I think of it the + first thing. If I could get right away from it, perhaps there + might be a chance; but how can I get away?" + </p> + <p> + "Have you ever thought of what it must lead to?" he asked, + wondering at the power the terrible sin had already gained + over her. + </p> + <p> + "Thought!" she cried, "I think of it constantly. David will + hate me when he comes home, if I cannot conquer it before + then. But what am I to do? I cannot write to him unless I + take it. No; I cannot even pray to God, when I am so utterly + miserable. It would be better for me to be some poor man's + wife, and drudge for my husband and children, than to have + nothing to do, and be so much alone. There must be some way + of escaping from it; but I cannot find it." + </p> + <p> + This way of escape—how could he find it for her? It was + a question that occupied his thoughts day and night. There + was one way, but Mrs. Bolton firmly persisted in closing it, + and no other seemed open to her. He could not make known this + difficulty to his friend, David Chantrey; for it would be a + death-blow to him literally. He would hasten home from + Madeira, at the very worst season of the year, as it was now + late in October, The risk for him would be too great. There + was no other home open to Sophy; and it did not seem possible + to make any change in the conditions of that home. She must + still be lonely and miserable, and still be exposed to daily + temptations. All he could do was so little, that he did it + without hope in the results. + </p> + <p> + If possible, Ann Holland was yet more troubled than he was. + By and by it became common town's-talk, and many a neighbor + visited her with the purpose of gossiping about poor Mrs. + Chantrey. But they found her averse to dwell upon the + subject, as if gossip had suddenly grown distasteful to her. + Many an hour when she was waiting for her drunken brother to + come in from the Upton Arms, she pondered over what she could + do to save the wife of her beloved Mr. Chantrey. She knew + better than Mr. Warden, who had never been in close domestic + contact with the sin, how terrible and repulsive was the + degradation of it; and she was heart-sick for Sophy and her + husband. + </p> + <p> + "There's one thing I've done," she said one day to Mrs. + Bolton, speaking to her of her brother's drunkenness; "he's + never seen me drink a drop of it since he came home drunk the + first time. I hate the very sight of it, or to hear people + talk of the good it's done them! Why, if it did me worlds of + good, and made my poor Richard the miserable wretch he is, I + couldn't touch it. And he knows it; he knows I do it for his + sake, and maybe he'll turn some day. But if he doesn't turn, + I couldn't touch what is ruining him." + </p> + <p> + "That's very well in your station, Ann," answered Mrs. + Bolton, "but it is quite different with us. We owe a duty to + society, which must be discharged." + </p> + <p> + "Very likely, ma'am," she replied meekly; "it's my feelings I + was speaking of, not exactly my duty. I hate the name of it; + and to think of the thousands and thousands of folks it + ruins! When you've seen anybody belonging to you ruined by it + you'll hate it, I know. But pray God that may never be!" + </p> + <p> + "Ann," said Mrs. Bolton, cautiously, "do you suppose any one + belonging to me could ever drink more than is right?" + </p> + <p> + "It's the town's-talk," answered Ann Holland, bursting into + tears; "everybody knows it. Oh! Mrs. Bolton, if you can do + anything to help her, now is the time to do it. It will get + too hard to be rooted up by and by. I know that by my poor + brother. He'll never leave it off till he's on his deathbed + and can't get it. James Brown, your butler, ma'am, is always + talking to him, and exciting him about what he's got charge + of in your cellars; and they sit here talking about it for an + hour at a time, till they go off to the Upton Arms. I hate + the very sound of it." + </p> + <p> + "But I must have cellars, and I must have a butler," said + Mrs. Bolton, somewhat angrily. She was fond of Ann Holland, + and liked the reverence she had always paid to her. But this + ridiculous notion of Mr. Warden's seemed to have taken + possession of the poor, uneducated woman's brain, and + threatened to undermine her influence over her. She cut short + her visit to her at this point, and returned home + uncomfortable and disturbed, wishing she had never offered + the shelter of her roof to her nephew's unhappy and + weak-minded wife. + </p> + <p> + Presently, as the dreary winter wore away, Mr. Warden began + to shun the sight of Sophy Chantrey. All his efforts to save + her, or even to check her rapid downfall, had proved vain; + and he turned from her sin with a resentment tinged with + disgust. But Ann Holland could feel no resentment or disgust. + If it had been in her power she would have watched over her + and cared for her night and day with unwearied tenderness. As + far as she could she sought to keep alive within her all + kinds of softening and pleasant influences. She went often to + see Charlie at school, sometimes persuading Sophy to go with + her, though more often the unhappy mother shrank from meeting + her little son's innocent greetings and caresses. The + terrible fits of depression which followed every indulgence + of her craving frequently unfitted her for any exertion. She + clung to Ann Holland's faithful friendship; but it was not + near enough or strong enough to keep her from yielding when + she was tempted. + </p> + <p> + But Sophy Chantrey had not yet fallen to the lowest + depths—perhaps never would fall. Her husband's return + would save her. Ann Holland looked forward to it as the only + hope. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter06">CHAPTER VI.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + THE RECTOR'S RETURN + </h3> + <p> + David Chantrey's term of exile was over, and the spring had + brought release to him. He was returning to England in + stronger health and vigor than he had enjoyed for some years + before his absence. It seemed to himself that he had + completely regained the strength that had been his as a young + man. He was a young man yet, he told himself—not six + and thirty, with long years of happy work lying before him. + The last eighteen months had been weary ones, though he could + not count them as lost time, since they had restored him to + health. The voyage home was a succession of almost perfectly + happy days, as he dwelt beforehand upon the joy that awaited + him. He had a packet of letters, those which had reached him + from home during his absence; and he read them through once + more in the long leisure hours of the voyage. Those from his + friend Warden and his aunt which bore a recent date had + certainly a rather unsatisfactory tone; but all of Sophy's + had been brighter and more cheerful than he had anticipated. + Every one of them longed for his return, that was evident. + Even Warden, who did not know where his fate would take him + to next, expressed an almost extravagant anxiety for his + speedy presence in his own parish. + </p> + <p> + He loved his parish and his people with a peculiar pride and + affection. It was twelve years since he had gone to + Upton—a young man just in orders, and in the full glow + of a fresh enthusiasm as to his duties. He believed no office + to be equal to that of a minister of Christ. And though this + glow had somewhat passed away, the enthusiasm had deepened + rather than faded with the lapse of years, His long illness + and exclusion from his office had imparted to it a graver + tone. In former days, perhaps, he had been too much set upon + the outer ceremonials of religion. He had been proud of his + church and the overflowing congregation which assembled in it + week after week testifying to his popularity. To pass along + the streets of his little town, and receive everywhere the + tokens of respect that greeted him, had been exceedingly + pleasant. He had bent himself to win golden opinions, after + quoting the words of Paul, "I am made all things to all men, + that by all means I might save some." And he had succeeded in + gaining the esteem of almost every class of his parishioners. + </p> + <p> + But during the long and lonely months of absence he had + learned to love his people after a different fashion. There + were some pleasant vices in his parish to which he had shut + his eyes; some respectable delinquents with whom he had been + on friendly terms, without using his privilege as a friend to + point out their misdeeds. There was not a high tone of + morality in his parish. Possibly he had been too anxious to + please his people. He was going back to them with a deeper + and stronger glow of enthusiasm concerning his duties and + work among them; but with a graver sense of his own weakness, + and a more humble knowledge of the Divine Father for whom he + was an ambassador. + </p> + <p> + His vessel reached Southampton the day before its arrival + could have been expected, and neither Sophy nor his friend + Warden was there to welcome him. But this was an additional + pleasure; he would take them all by surprise in the midst of + their preparations for his return. Warden had warned him that + there would be quite a public reception of him, with a great + concourse of his parishioners, and every demonstration of + rejoicing. It was in his nature to enjoy this; but still he + would like a few quiet hours with Sophy first, and these he + could secure by hastening home by the first train. He would + reach Upton early in the evening. + </p> + <p> + It was an hour of intense happiness, and he felt it to his + inmost soul. All the route was familiar to him after he had + started from London; the streets and suburbs rushing past him + swiftly, and the meadows, in the bright green and gold of + spring, which followed them. He knew the populous villages, + with their churches, where he was himself well known. Every + station seemed almost like a home to him. As he drew nearer + to Upton he leaned through, the window to catch the first + glimpse of his own church, and the blue smoke rising from his + own house; and a minute or two afterward, with a gladness + that was half a pain, he found himself once more on the + platform at Upton station. + </p> + <p> + "I am back again," he said, shaking hands with the + station-master with a hearty grasp that spoke something of + his gladness. "Is all going on well among you?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, Mr. Chantrey; yes, sir," he answered. "You're welcome + home, sir. God bless you! You've been missed more than any of + us thought of when you went away. You're needed here, sir, + more than you think of." + </p> + <p> + "Nothing has gone very wrong, I hope," said the rector, + smiling. He had faithfully done his best to provide a good + substitute in "Warden, but it was not in human nature not to + feel pleased that no one could manage his parish as well as + himself. + </p> + <p> + "No, no, sir," replied the station-master, "nothing but what + you'll put right again at once by being at home yourself. No, + there's nothing very wrong, I may say. Upton meant to give + you a welcome home to-morrow, with arches of flowers and + music. They'll be disappointed you arrived to-day, I know." + </p> + <p> + David Chantrey laughed, thinking of the welcome they had + given him when he brought Sophy home as his young wife. His + heart felt a new tenderness for her, and a throb of + impatience to find her. He bade a hasty good-evening to the + station-master, and walked off buoyantly toward the High + street, along which his path lay. The station-master and the + ticket-clerk watched him, and shook their heads + significantly; but he was quite unconscious of their + scrutiny. Never had the quiet little town seemed so lovely to + him. The quaint irregular houses stood one-half of them in + shadow, and the rest in the level rays of the May sunset; the + chestnut-trees, with their young green leaves and their white + blossoms lighting up each branch to the very summit of them; + the hawthorn bushes here and there covered with snowy bloom; + the children playing, and the swallows darting to and fro + overhead; the distant shout of the cuckoo, and the deep low + tone of the church clock just striking the hour—this + was the threshold of home to him; the outer court, which was + dearer to him and more completely his own than any other + place in the wide world could ever be. + </p> + <p> + No one was quick to recognize him in his somewhat foreign + aspect; the children at their play took no notice of him. All + the tradespeople were busy getting their shops a little in + order before the shutters were put up. He might perhaps pass + through the street as far as Bolton Villa without being + observed, and so be sure of a perfectly quiet evening. But as + he thought so his heart gave a great bound, for there before + him was Sophy herself hurrying along the uneven causeway, now + lost behind some jutting building, and then seen once more, + still hastening with quick, unsteady steps, as if bent on + some pressing errand. He did not try to overtake her, though + he could have done so easily. He felt that their first + meeting must not be in the street, for the tears that smarted + under his eyelids and dimmed his sight, and the quicker + throbbing of his pulses, warned him that such a meeting would + be no common incident in their lives. She had been his wife + for nine years, and she was far dearer to him now than she + had been when he married her. Eighteen months of their life + together had been lost—a great price to pay for his + restored health. But now a long, happy union lay before them. + </p> + <p> + He had not followed her for more than a minute or two when + she suddenly turned and entered Ann Holland's little shop. + Well, he could not take her by surprise better in any other + house in Upton. Perhaps it might even be better than at + Bolton Villa, amid its cumbrous surroundings; he always + thought of his aunt's house with a sort of shudder. If Sophy + had fortunately fixed upon this quiet house for paying the + good old maid a kindly visit, there was not another place + except their own home where he would rather receive her first + greeting—that is if the drunken old saddler did not + happen to be in. He paused to inquire from the journeyman, + still at work in the shop; learning that Richard Holland was + not at home, he passed impatiently to the kitchen beyond. Ann + Holland was just closing the door of her little parlor, and + David Chantrey approached her, hardly able to control the + agitation he felt. + </p> + <p> + "I saw my wife step in here," he said, holding out his hand + to her, but attempting to pass her and to open the door + before which she still stood. She could not speak for a + moment, but she kept her post firmly in opposition to him. + </p> + <p> + "My wife is here?" he asked, in a sharp impetuous tone. + </p> + <p> + "Yes; oh yes!" cried Ann Holland; "but wait a moment, Mr. + Chantrey. Oh, wait a little while. Don't go in and see her + yet." + </p> + <p> + "Why not?" he asked again, a sudden terror taking hold of + him. + </p> + <p> + "Sit down a minute or two, sir," she answered. "Mrs. + Chantrey's ill, just ailing a little. She is not prepared to + meet you just yet. You were not expected before to-morrow, + and she's excited; she hardly knows what she's saying or + doing. You'd better not speak to her or see her till she's + recovered herself a little." + </p> + <p> + "Poor Sophy!" cried David Chantrey, with a tremor in his + voice; "did she see me coming, then? Go back to her, Miss + Holland; she will want you. Is there nothing I can do for + her? It has been a hard time for her, poor girl!" + </p> + <p> + Ann Holland went back into the parlor, and he smiled as he + heard her take the precaution of turning the key in the lock. + He threw himself into the three-cornered chair, and sat + listening to the murmur of voices on the other side of the + door. It seemed a very peaceful home. The quaintness and + antiqueness of the homely kitchen chimed in with his present + feeling; he wanted no display or grandeur. This was no common + every-day world he was in; there was a strange flavor about + every circumstance. Impatient as he was to see Sophy, and + hold her once more in his arms, he could not but feel a sense + of comfort and tranquillity mingling with his more unquiet + happiness. There was a fire burning cheerily on the hearth, + though it was a May evening. Coming from a warmer climate, he + felt chilly, and he bent over the fire, stretching over it + his long thin hands, which told plainly their story of mere + scholarly work and of health never very vigorous, Smiling all + the time, with the glow of the flame on his face, with its + expression of tranquil gladness, as of one who had long been + buffeted about, but had reached home at last, he sat + listening till the voices ceased. A profound silence + followed, which lasted some time, before Ann Holland returned + to him saying softly, "She is asleep." + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter07">CHAPTER VII.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + WORSE THAN DEAD + </h3> + <p> + Ann Holland sat down on the other side of the hearth, + opposite her rector; but she could not lift up her eyes to + his face. There was no on in the world whom she loved so + well. His forbearance and kindness toward her unfortunate + brother, who was the plague and shame of her life, had + completely won for him an affection that would have + astonished him if he could have known its devotion. This + moment would have been one of unalloyed delight to her had + there been no trouble lurking for him, of which he was + altogether unaware. So rejoiced she was at his return that it + seemed as if no event in her monotonous life hitherto had + been so happy; yet she was terrified at the very thought of + his coming wretchedness. When Sophy had fled to her with the + cry that her husband was come, and she dared not meet him as + she was, she had seen in an instant that she must prevent it + by some means or other. The hope that Mr. Chantrey's return + would bring about a reformation in his wife had grown faint + in her heart, for during the last few months the sin had + taken deeper and deeper root; and now, the day only before + she expected him, she had not had strength to resist the + temptation to it. Sophy had been crying hysterically, and + trembling at the thought of meeting him as she was; and she + had made Ann promise to break to him gently the confession + she would otherwise be compelled to make herself. Ann Holland + sat opposite to him, with downcast eyes, and a face almost + heart-broken by the shame and sorrow she foresaw for him. + </p> + <p> + "She is asleep," he said, repeating her words in a lowered + voice, as if he was afraid of disturbing her. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," she answered. + </p> + <p> + "It is strange," he said, after a short pause; "strange she + can sleep now. Has she been ill? Sophy always assured me she + was quite well and strong. It is strange she can sleep when + she knows I am here." + </p> + <p> + "She was very ill and low after you went, sir," she replied; + "it was like as if her heart was broken, parting with you and + Master Charlie both together. Dear, dear! it might have been + better for her if you'd been poor folks, and she'd had to + work hard for you both. She'd just nothing to do, and nobody + to turn to for comfort, poor thing. Mrs. Bolton meant to be + kind, and was kind in her way: but she fell into a low fever, + and the doctors all ordered her as much wine and support as + ever she could take." + </p> + <p> + "I never heard of it," said Mr. Chantrey; "they never told + me." + </p> + <p> + "No; they were fearful of your coming back too soon," she + went, on; "and, thank God, you are looking quite yourself + again, sir. All Upton will be as glad as glad can be, and the + old church'll be crammed again. Mr. Warden's done all a man + could do; but everybody said he wasn't you and we longed for + you back again, but not too soon—no, no, not too soon." + </p> + <p> + "But my wife," he said; "has she been ill all the time?" + </p> + <p> + For a minute or two she could not find words to answer his + question. She knew that it could not be long before he + learned the truth, if not from her or his wife, then from + Mrs. Bolton or his friend Mr. Warden. It was too much the + common talk of the neighborhood for him to escape hearing of + it, even if she could hope that Mrs. Chantrey would have + strength of mind enough to cast off the sin at once. Now was + the time to break it to him gently, with quiet and friendly + hints rather than with hard words. But how was she to do it? + How could she best soften the sorrow and disgrace? + </p> + <p> + "Is my wife ill yet?" he demanded again, in a more agitated + voice. + </p> + <p> + "Not ill now," she answered, "but she's not quite herself + yet. You'll help her, sir. You'll know how to treat her + kindly and softly, and bring her round again. There's a deal + in being mild and patient with folks. You know my poor + brother, as fierce as a tiger, and that obstinate, tortures + would not move him; but he's like a lamb with you, Mr. + Chantrey. I think sometimes if he could live in the same + house with you, if he'd been your brother, poor fellow you'd + save him; for he'll do anything for you, short of keeping + away from drink. You'll bring Mrs. Chantrey round, I'm sure." + </p> + <p> + Mr. Chantrey smiled again, as the comparison between the + drunken old saddler and his own fair, sweet young wife, + flitted across his brain. Ann Holland, in her voluble flow of + words, hit upon curious combinations. Still she had not + removed his anxiety about his wife. "Was Sophy suffering from + the effects of the low, nervous fever yet? + </p> + <p> + "Yes; I'll take care of my wife," he said, glancing toward + the parlor door; "it has been a sore trial, this long + separation of ours. But it's over now; and she is dearer to + me than ever she was." + </p> + <p> + "Ay! love will do almost everything," she answered, sadly, + "and I know you will never get tired or worn out, if it's for + years and years. A thing like this doesn't come right all at + once; but if it comes right at last, we have cause to be + thankful. Mr. Warden has not had full patience; and Mrs. + Bolton lost hers too soon. Neither of them knows it as I know + it. You can't storm it away; and it's no use raving at it. + Only love and patience can do it; and not that always. But we + are bound to bear with them, poor things! even to death. We + cannot measure God's patience with our measure." + </p> + <p> + Ann Holland's voice trembled, and her eyes filled with tears, + which glistened in the firelight. She could not bear to speak + more plainly to her rector, whom she loved and reverenced so + greatly. She could not think of him as being brought down on + a level with herself, the sister of a known drunkard. It + seemed a horrible thing to her; this sorrow hanging over him, + of which he was so utterly unconscious. Mr. Chantrey had + fastened his eyes upon her as if he would read her inmost + thoughts. His voice trembled a little too, when he spoke. + </p> + <p> + "What has this to do with my wife?" he asked, "for what + reason have my aunt and Mr. Warden lost patience with her?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh! it's best for me to tell you, not them," she said, the + tears streaming down her cheeks; "it will be very hard for + you to hear, whoever says it. Everybody knows it; and it + could never be kept from you. But you can save her, Mr. + Chantrey, if anybody can. It's best for me to tell you at + once. She was so ill, and low, and miserable; and the doctors + kept on ordering her wine, and things like that; and it was + the only thing that comforted her, and kept her up; and she + got to depend upon it to save her from loneliness and + wretchedness, and now she can't break herself of taking + it—of taking too much." + </p> + <p> + "Oh! my God!" cried Mr. Chantrey. It was a cry from the very + depths of his spirit, as by a sudden flash he saw the full + meaning of Ann Holland's faltered words. Sophy had fled from + him, conscious that she was in no fit state to meet him after + their long separation. She was sleeping now the heavy sleep + of excess. Was it possible that this was true? Could it be + anything but a feverish dream that he was sitting there, and + Ann Holland was telling him such an utterly incredible story? + Sophy, his wife, the mother of his child! + </p> + <p> + But Ann Holland's tearful face, with its expression of + profound grief and pity, was too real for her story to be a + dream. He, David Chantrey, the rector of Upton, whom all men + looked up to and esteemed, had a wife, who was whispered + about among them all as a victim to a vile and degrading sin. + A strong shock of revulsion ran through his veins, which had + been thrilling with an unquiet happiness all the day. There + was an inexplicable, mysterious misery in it. If he had come + home to find her dead, he could have borne to look upon her + lying in her coffin, knowing that life could never be bright + again for him; but he would have held up his head among his + fellow-men. It would have been no shame or degradation either + for him or her to have laid her in the tranquil churchyard, + beside their little child, where he could have seen her grave + through his vestry window, and gone from it to his pulpit, + facing his congregation, sorrowful but not disgraced. He was + just coming back to his people with higher aims, and greater + resolves, determined to fight more strenuously against every + form of evil among them; and this was the first gigantic sin, + which met him on his own threshold and his own hearth. + </p> + <p> + "She's so young," pleaded Ann Holland, frightened at the ashy + hue that had spread over his face, "and she's been so + lonesome. Then it was always easy to get it, when she felt + low; for Mrs. Bolton's servants rule the house, and there's + the best of everything in her cellars. James Brown says he + could never refuse Mrs. Chantrey, she was so miserable, poor + thing! But now you will take her home; and she'll have you, + and Master Charlie. You'll save her, sir, sooner or later; + never fear." + </p> + <p> + "Let me go and see her," he said, in a choking voice. + </p> + <p> + Ann Holland opened the door so carefully that the latch did + not click or the hinges creak; and, shading the light with + her hand, she stood beside him for a minute or two, as he + looked down upon his sleeping wife. She did not dare to lift + her eyes to his face; but she knew that all the light and + glow of gladness had fled from it, and a gray look of terror + had crept across it. He was a very different man from the one + who had been seated on her hearth a short half-hour ago. He + bade her leave him alone, and without a light, and she obeyed + him, though reluctantly, and with an undefined fear of him in + his wretchedness. + </p> + <p> + It seemed to Mr. Chantrey as if an age had passed over him. + As persons who are drowning see in one brief moment all the + course of their past lives, with its most trivial + circumstances, so he seemed to have looked into his own + future, stretching before him in gloom and darkness, and + foreseen a thousand miserable results springing from this + fatal source. She was his wife, dearer to him than any other + object in the world; but after she had repented and reformed, + as surely she would repent and reform, she could never be to + him again what she had been. There Was a faint gleam of + moonlight stealing into the familiar room, and he could just + distinguish her form lying on the white-covered sofa. With an + overwhelming sense of wretchedness and bewilderment he fell + upon his knees beside her, and burying his face in his hands, + cried again, "Oh! my God!" + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter08">CHAPTER VIII.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + HUSBAND AND WIFE + </h3> + <p> + How long he knelt there, Mr. Chantrey did not know. He felt + cramped and stiff, for he did not stir from his first + position; and he had uttered no other word of prayer. But at + last Sophy moved and turned her head; and he lifted up his + face at the sound. The moon was shining full into the room, + and they could see one another, but not distinctly, as in + daylight. She looked at him in dreamy silence for a few + moments, and then she timidly stretched out her hand, and + whispered, "David!" + </p> + <p> + "My wife!" he answered, laying his own cold hand upon hers. + </p> + <p> + For some few minutes neither of them spoke again. They gazed + at one another as though some great gulf had opened between + them, and neither of them could cross it. In the dim light + they could only see the pallid, outline of each other's face, + as though they had met in some strange, sad world. But + presently he leaned over her, and kissed her. + </p> + <p> + "Oh!" she cried, with a sudden loudness that rang through the + quiet room, "you know all! You know how wicked I am. But you + don't know how lonely and wretched I have been. I tried to + break myself of it I did try to keep from it; but it was + always there on the table when I sat down to my meals with + Aunt Bolton; and I could always find comfort in it. Oh! help + me! Don't cast me off; don't hate me. Help me." + </p> + <p> + "I will help you," he answered, earnestly; but he could say + no more. The mere sound of the words she spoke unnerved him. + </p> + <p> + "And I have made you miserable just as you are coming home!" + she went on. "I never meant to do that. But I was so + restless, looking forward to to-morrow; and aunt's maid + advised me to take a little, for fear I should be quite ill + when you came. I should have been all right to-morrow; and I + was so resolved never to touch it again, after you had come + home. You are come back quite strong, are you? There is no + more fear for you? Oh! I will conquer myself; I must conquer + myself. If it had not always been in my sight, and the + doctors had not ordered it, I should never have been so + wicked. Do you forgive me? Do you think God will forgive me?" + </p> + <p> + "Can you give it up?" he asked. + </p> + <p> + "Oh! I must, I will give it up," she sobbed; "but if I do, + and if you forgive me, it can never be the same again. You + will not think the same of me—and people have seen + me—they all talk about it—and I shall always be + ashamed before them. I am a disgrace to you; Aunt Bolton has + said so again and again. Then there's Charlie; I'm not fit to + be his mother. That is quite true. However long I live, + people in Upton will remember it, and gossip about, it. If + they had let me die it would have been better for us all. You + could have loved me then." + </p> + <p> + "But I love you still," he answered, in a voice of tenderness + and pity; "you are very dear to me. How can I ever cease to + love you?" + </p> + <p> + Yet as he spoke a terrible thought flashed through his mind + that his wife might some day become to him an object of + unutterable disgust. An image of a besotted, drunken woman + always in his house, and bearing his name, stood out for a + moment sharply and distinctly before his imagination. He + shuddered, and paused; but almost before she could notice it, + he went on in low and solemn tones. + </p> + <p> + "Your sin does not separate you from me; you are my wife. I + must help you and save you at whatever cost. Your soul is + nearer to mine than any other; and what one human being can + do for the soul of another, it is my lot to do. Do not be + afraid of me, Sophy. You cannot estrange yourself from me; + and yon cannot wear out the patience of God. He is ever + waiting to receive back those who have wandered farthest from + him. Can I refuse love and pity, when He freely gives them in + full measure to you? Will Christ forsake you—He who + saved Mary Magdalen? He will cast out this demon that has + possession of you." + </p> + <p> + He was replying to some of the questions which had troubled + him, while he was kneeling at her side, before she was awake. + There was no separation possible of their lives. If she broke + away from him, or if he sent her away from his home, they + would still be bound together by ties that could never be + broken. Whatever depth she sank to, she was his wife, and he + must tread step by step with her the path that ran through + all the future. But if any one could help her, and lead her + back out of her present bondage, it was he; and he must not + fail her in any extremity for lack of pity and tenderness. + </p> + <p> + He was about to speak again, when a loud, rough noise broke + in upon the quiet of the house. It was nearly midnight; and + Ann Holland's drunken brother was stumbling and staggering + through his shop into the peaceful little kitchen, Sophy sat + up and listened. They could hear his thick, coarse voice + shouting out snatches of vulgar songs, mingled with oaths at + his sister, who was doing her utmost to persuade him to go + quietly to bed. His shambling step, dragging across the + floor, seemed about to enter the darkened room where they + were sitting; and Sophy caught her husband's arm, clinging to + it with fright. It was a more bitter moment for Mr. Chantrey + than even for her. The comparison thrust upon him was too + terrible. His delicate, tender, beloved wife, and this + coarse, brutal, degraded man! Was it possible that both were + bound by the chains of the same sin? + </p> + <p> + But Ann Holland succeeded before long in getting her brother + out of the way, and releasing them from their painful + imprisonment. The streets of Upton were hushed in utter + solitude and silence as they walked through them, speechless + and heavy-hearted; those streets which, on the morrow, were + to have been crowded with groups of his people, eager to + welcome him home. They passed the church, lit up with the + moonlight, clear enough to make every grave visible; a lovely + light, in which all the dead seemed to be sleeping restfully. + He sighed heavily as he passed by. Sophy was clinging to him, + sobbing now and then; for her agitation had subsided into a + weak dejection, which found no relief but in tears. Every + step they trod along the too familiar road brought a fresh + pang to him. For thousands of memories of happy days haunted + him; and a thousand vague fears dogged him. He dared not open + his heart either to the memories or the fears. Nothing was + possible to him, except a silent, continuous cry to God for + help. + </p> + <p> + "It is a melancholy coming home," Sophy murmured, as they + stood together on the threshold of their aunt's house. He had + not time to answer, for the door was opened quickly, and Mrs. + Bolton hurried forward to welcome him. She had been expecting + him for some time, for Ann Holland had sent word that both he + and Mrs. Chantrey were at her house. One glance at his + anxious and sorrowful face revealed to her the anguish of the + last few hours. Sophy crept away guiltily up stairs; and she + put her arm through his, and led him into the dining-room, + where a luxurious supper was spread for him. + </p> + <p> + "You know all about it, then?" said Mrs. Bolton, as he threw + himself into a chair by the fireside, looking utterly bowed + down and wretched. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," he answered. "Oh! aunt, could you do nothing for her? + Could you not prevent it? It is a miserable thing for a man + to come back to." + </p> + <p> + "I have done all I could," she replied, hesitatingly. "I have + been quite wretched about it myself; but what could I do? I + told your friend Mr. Warden there was nothing in reason I + would refuse to do; but his ideas were so impracticable they + could not be carried out." + </p> + <p> + "What were they?" he asked. + </p> + <p> + "Positively that I should abstain altogether myself," she + said; "and not only that, but I must refuse it to my guests, + and have nothing of the kind in my house; not even those + choice wines your uncle bought, Neither wine for myself nor + ale for my servants! It was quite out of the question, you + know. Mr. Warden was meddlesome to the very verge of + impertinence about it, until I was compelled to give up + inviting him to my house. He went so far as to doubt my being + a Christian! And it was of no use telling him I followed our + Lord's example more strictly by drinking wine than he did by + abstaining from it. He used his influence with Sophy to + persuade her to suggest the same thing, that I would keep it + altogether out of her sight at all times; but she soon saw + how impossible it was for a person of my station and + responsibility to do such a thing. I told her it was putting + total abstinence above religion." + </p> + <p> + "Did Sophy think that would save her?" asked Mr. Chantrey. + </p> + <p> + "She had a fancy it would," answered Mrs. Bolton, "but only + because Mr. Warden put it into her head. She was quite + reasonable about it, poor girl! I proved to her that our Lord + did not do it, nor some of the best Christians that ever + lived; and she was quite convinced. Even Ann Holland was + troublesome about it, begging me to do all kinds of + extraordinary things—to have Charlie here was one of + them, as if that could cure her—but I soon made her + understand her position and mine. I am sure nobody can be + more anxious than I am to do what is right. I am afraid it is + the development of an hereditary taste in your wife, David, + and nothing will cure it; for I have made many inquiries + about her family, and I hear several of her relations were + given to excess; so you may depend upon it, it is hereditary + and incurable." + </p> + <p> + There was little comfort for him in this speech, which was + delivered in a satisfied and judicial tone. Sophy's sin had + been present to Mrs. Bolton for so many months, and she had + grown so accustomed to analyze it, and argue about it, that + she could not enter into the sudden and direful shock the + discovery had been to her nephew. An antagonism had risen in + her mind about it, not only against Mr. Warden, but against + some faint, suppressed reproaches of conscience, which made + her secretly cleave to the idea that this vice was + hereditary, and consequently incurable. She was afraid also + of David reproaching her. But he did not. He was too crushed + to reason yet about his wife's fall, or what measures might + have been taken to prevent it. Long after his aunt had left + him, and not a sound was to be heard in the house, he sat + alone, scarcely thinking, but with one deep, poignant, bitter + sense of anguish weighing upon his soul. Now and then he + cried to God inarticulately; that dumb, incoherent cry of the + stricken spirit to the only Saviour. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter09">CHAPTER IX.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + SAD DAYS + </h3> + <p> + There was no doubt in Upton, when the people saw their rector + again, that he knew full well the calamity that had befallen + him. No one ventured to speak to him of it; but their very + silence was a measure of the gravity of his trouble. His + friend Warden told him more accurately than any one else + could have done, how it had gradually come about, and what + remonstrances he had made both to Mrs. Bolton and Sophy. Mr. + Chantrey was impatient to get into his own house, where he + could do what his aunt had refused to do, and where he could + shield his wife from all temptation to yield to the craving + for stimulants in any form. When they were at home once more, + with their little son with them, filling up her time and + thoughts, all would be well again. + </p> + <p> + But he did not know the force of the habit she had fallen + into. At first there were a few gleams of hope and + thankfulness during the pleasant days of summer, while it was + a new thing for Sophy to have her husband and child with her. + But he could not keep her altogether from temptation, while + they visited constantly at Bolton Villa, and the houses of + other friends. It was in vain that he abstained himself; that + he made himself a fanatic on the question, as all his + acquaintances said; Sophy could not go out without being + exposed to temptation, and she was not strong enough to + resist it. Before the next spring came, the people of Upton + spoke of her as confirmed in her miserable failing. There was + no one but herself who could now break off this fatal habit; + and her will had grown wretchedly feeble. The sin domineered + over her, and she felt herself a helpless slave to it. There + had been no want of firmness or tenderness on the part of her + husband; but it had taken too strong a hold upon her before + he came to her aid. The intolerable sense of humiliation + which she suffered only drove her to seek to forget it by + sinking lower into the depth of her degradation and his. + </p> + <p> + A great change came over the rector of Upton. He went about + among his parishioners, no longer gladly taking the + leadership among them, and claiming the pre-eminence as his + by right. It had been one of his most pleasant thoughts in + former days that he was the rector of the parish, chosen of + God, and appointed by men, to teach them truths good for + himself and them, and to go before them, seeking out the path + in which they should walk. But his own feet were now + stumbling upon dark mountains. He was quickly losing his + popularity among them; for whereas, while he was himself + happy and honored, he had not seen clearly all the evils, and + wrongs, and excesses of his parish, now he was growing, as + they said, more fanatical and ascetic than Mr. Warden had + been, who had won the name of a puritan among them. Why could + he not leave the Upton Arms and the numerous smaller taverns + alone, so long as the landladies and their daughters attended + church, as they had been need to do? His presence at the + dinner-parties of his friends was a check upon all hilarity; + and by and by they ceased to invite him, and then, half + ashamed to see his face, ceased to go to his church, where + his sermons had not the smooth and flowery eloquence of + former days. + </p> + <p> + Probably Mr. Chantrey knew better now what was good for his + people; he had clearer views of the snares and dangers that + beset them, and the sorrows that lie lurking on every man's + path. He saw more distinctly what Christ came to do; and how + he did it by complete self-abnegation, and by descending to + the level of the lowest. But he had no delight in standing up + in his pulpit in full face of his dwindling congregation. + Language seemed poor to him; and it had grown difficult to + him to put his burning thoughts into words. As the bitter + experience of daily life seared his very soul, he found that + no smooth, fit expressions of his self-communing rose to his + lips. It pained him to face his people, and speak to them in + old, trite forms of speech, while his heart was burning + within him; and they knew it, as they sat quiet in their + pews, looking up to him with inquisitive or indifferent eyes. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Bolton could not escape her share of these troubles; + though she never accused herself for a moment as having had + any part in causing them. It was the archdeacon who had + obtained the living of Upton for her favorite nephew; and she + had settled there to be the patroness of every good thing in + the parish. Mr. Chantrey's popularity had been a source of + great satisfaction and self-applause to her. She had foreseen + how useful he would be; what a shining light in this somewhat + dark corner of the church. The increasing congregations, and + the number of carriages at the church-door, had given her + much pleasure. She had delighted in taking the lead, side by + side with her nephew, and in being looked up to in Upton, as + one who set an example in every good thing. But this + unfortunate failing in her nephew's wife, developed under her + roof and during his absence, had been a severe blow. No one + directly blamed her for it, except the late curate, Mr. + Warden, and a few extravagant, visionary persons, who deemed + it best to abstain totally from the source of so much misery + and poverty among their fellow-beings, and to take care, as + far as in them lay, to place no stumbling-block in the way of + feeble feet. But, strange to say, all the estimable people in + Upton regarded her with less veneration since her niece had + gone astray. Even Ann Holland was plainly less impressed and + swayed by the idea of her goodness; and there were many + others like Ann Holland. As for her nephew, he was gradually + falling away from her in his trouble. He would seldom go to + dine with her without Sophy; and he had urgent reasons to + decline every invitation for her. Their conversations upon + religious subjects, which had always tended to make her + comfortably assured of her own state of grace, had quite + ceased. David never talked to her now about his sermons, past + or future. He was in the "wasteful wilderness" himself, and + could not walk with her through trim alleys of the vineyards. + Now and then there fell from him, as from his friend, + unpractical notions of a Christian's duty; as if Christianity + consisted more in acts of self-denial than in an accurate + creed concerning fundamental doctrines. It was an uneasy time + for Mrs. Bolton; and her chief consolation was found in a + volume of sermons, published by the archdeacon, which made + her feel sure that all must be right with the widow of such a + dignitary. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter10">CHAPTER X.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + A SIN AND A SHAME + </h3> + <p> + It was May again; a soft, sunny day, with spring showers + falling, or gathering in glistening clouds in the blue sky. + The bells chimed for morning service, as the people came up + to church from the old-fashioned streets. They greeted one + another as they met in the churchyard, whispering that it had + been a very bad week for poor Mr. Chantrey. Every one knew + how uncontrollable his wife had been for some time past, + except a few strangers, who still drove in from a distance. + The congregation, some curiously, some wistfully, gazed + earnestly at him, as with a worn and weary face, and with + bowed-down head already streaked with gray, he took his place + in the reading-desk. Ann Holland wiped away her tears + stealthily, lest he should see she was weeping, and guess the + reason. In the rectory pew the young, fair-haired boy sat + alone, as he had often done of late; for his mother was to + unfit to appear in church. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Chantrey read the service in a clear, steady voice, but + with a tone of trouble in it which only a very dull ear could + have missed. When he ascended his pulpit, and looked down + with sad and sunken eyes upon his people, every face was + lifted up to him attentively, as he gave out the text, "Am I + my brother's keeper?" Mrs. Bolton moved uneasily in her pew, + for she knew he was going to preach a disagreeable sermon. It + was not as eloquent as many of his old ones; but it had a + hundredfold more power. His hearers had often been pleased + and touched before; now they were stirred, and made + uncomfortable. Their responsibilities, as each one the keeper + of his brother's soul, were solemnly laid before them. The + listless, contented indifference to the sins and sorrows of + their fellow-men was rudely shaken. Their satisfaction in + their own safety was attacked. As clearly as words could put + it, they were told that not one of them could go to heaven + alone; that there was no solitary path of salvation for any + foot to tread. As long as any fell because of temptation, + they were bound, as far as in them lay, to remove every kind + of temptation. If each one was not careful to be his + brother's keeper, then the voice of their brother's blood + would cry unto God against them. There was scarcely a person + present who could listen to their rector's sermon with + feelings of self-satisfaction. + </p> + <p> + He left his pulpit at the close of it, troubled and + exhausted. His little son followed him into the vestry to + wait until the congregation, that loved to linger a little + about the porch, should have dispersed. But hardly had he + entered, than, looking out, as it was his wont to do, upon + the grave of his other child, he saw a figure stretched + across it, asleep. Could it possibly be his wife? Large drops + of rain were beginning to fall upon her upturned face, but + they did not rouse her from her heavy slumber; nor did the + noise of many feet passing by along the churchyard path. It + was a moment of unutterable shame and agony to him. His + people saw her; they had heard of his trouble before, but now + they saw it; and they were lingering to look at her. He must + go out in the midst of them all, and they must see him take + his miserable wife home. + </p> + <p> + Those who were there that day will never forget the sight. + His people made way for him, as he passed among them, still + in the gown he had worn while preaching, with a rigid and wan + face, and eyes that seemed blind to every object except the + unhappy woman he could not save. His little boy was pressing + close behind him, but he bade him go back into the church, + and wait until he came for him. Then he knelt down beside his + wife in the falling rain, and lifted her gently, calling her + by her name, "Sophy! Sophy!" But her heavy head fell back + again upon the grave, and he was not strong enough to raise + her from it. He burst into tears, a passion of tears; such as + men only weep in hours of extreme anguish of mind. Slowly his + people melted away, helpless to do anything for him; except + two or three of his most familiar friends, who stayed to + assist him in taking the wretched wife back to her home. + </p> + <p> + Ann Holland lingered unseen in the porch until all were out + of sight. The child she loved so fondly was standing with the + great door ajar, holding it with his small hand, and peeping + out now and then. She called to him when all were gone, and + he came out of the church gladly, yet with an air of concern + on his round, rosy face. + </p> + <p> + "My mother is ill, very ill," he said, putting his hand into + hers. "I saw her lying on baby's grave. Couldn't anything be + done for her to make her well? Isn't there any doctor clever + enough to cure her?" + </p> + <p> + "I don't know, dear," answered Ann Holland. + </p> + <p> + "My father never lets me go to see her when she's worst," he + went on, "only Sarah goes into her room, and him. She talks + and laughs often, and yet my father says she is ill. When I + am a man I shall be a doctor, and learn how to make her well. + But it will be a long time before I am clever enough for + that, I'm afraid. My father says she's too ill for anybody to + come to see us; isn't it a pity?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, my dear," she answered. + </p> + <p> + "She can never hear me say my hymns now," he said; "and when + she's not so ill that my father won't let me see her, she + sits crying, crying ever so; and if I want to play with her, + or read to her, she can't bear it, she says. I should think + there ought to be somebody to cure her, if we could only find + out. My father scarcely ever laughs now, because she's so + ill; and when he plays with me he only looks sad, and he + speaks in a quiet voice as if it would make her worse. Do + try, Miss Holland, and ask everybody that comes to your house + if they don't know of some very, very clever doctor for my + mother." + </p> + <p> + "I will try," she said. "I'll do all I can. But you may run + home now, Master Charlie, See! There's your father coming + back for you." + </p> + <p> + "I know I sha'n't see my mother again to-day," he answered; + "good-by, and remember, please." + </p> + <p> + She watched him running across the little meadow to his + father; and then she turned away, and walked slowly through + the street homeward. Little knots of the towns-people + lingered still about the doorways, discussing their rector's + troubles. Though most of them greeted her, anxious to hear + her opinion as one who was considered on friendly terms with + the rector's family, she evaded their questionings, and + passed on to the solitude of her own dwelling. It had been + solitary now for some days, for her brother had disappeared + early in the week; having stripped the house of money, and + set off on one of his vagrant tramps, of which she knew + nothing except that he always returned penniless, and + generally with the good clothes she provided for him + exchanged for worthless rags. How many years it was that her + life had been embittered by his drunkenness she could hardly + reckon, so many had they been. These strange absences of his + had at first been a severe trial to her; but of late years + they had been a holiday time of rest, except for the + continual anxiety she felt on his behalf. Her quaint and + quiet kitchen, as she unlocked the door and entered it, + seemed a haven of refuge, where she could indulge in the + tears she had kept under control till now. The love she felt + for Mr. Chantrey was so deep and true, that any sorrow of his + must have grieved her. But she knew so well what this sorrow + was! She knew through what long years it might last; and how + hopeless it might grow before the end came. Looking back upon + her own blighted life, she could foresee for him only a + weary, miserable, ever-deepening wretchedness. The Sunday + afternoon passed by slowly, and the evening came, The soft + sunshine and spring showers of the morning were gone; and a + sullen sweep of rain, driven by the east wind, was beating + through the streets. A neighbor looked in to say she had seen + the curate from the next parish pass through the town toward + the church; and she thought Mr. Chantrey would very likely + not be there. But Ann Holland had already decided not to go. + At any moment she might hear her brother's shambling step + draw near the door, and his fingers fumbling at the latch. + She could not bear the neighbors to see him when he came off + one of his vagabond tramps, dirty and ragged as he usually + was. She must stay at home again for him; again, as she had + done hundreds of times, mourning pitifully over him, and + ready to receive him patiently, impenitent as he was. She + went up stairs to make his bed quite ready for him; and to + put out of his way everything that could by any chance hurt + him, if he should stumble and fall in his drunken weakness. + When she returned to the kitchen, she lighted a candle, and + opened the old family Bible, with its large type, which + seemed to her a more sacred book than the little one she used + daily. But she could not read; the words passed vaguely and + without meaning beneath her eyes. Her mind was full of the + thought of her unhappy brother, and Mr. Chantrey's miserable + wife. + </p> + <p> + It was past her usual hour of going to bed before she made up + the kitchen fire to be in readiness, lest her brother should + knock her up at any hour during the night. At the last moment + she opened the street-door, and stood listening for a little + while, as she always did when he was not at home. The rain + was still sweeping through the street, which was as silent as + if the town had been deserted. The gas-lights in the lamps + flickered with the wind, and lit up the pools and channels of + water running down the pavements. + </p> + <p> + But just as she turned to go in, her quick ear caught the + sound of distant footsteps, growing louder as they came in + her direction. It was the tramp of several feet, marching + slowly like those of persons bearing a heavy burden. She + waited to see who and what it could be so late this Sunday + night; and soon, under the flickering lamps, she caught sight + of several men, carrying among them a hurdle, with a + shapeless heap upon it. A sudden, vague panic seized her, and + she hastily retreated inside her house, shutting and barring + the door. She said to herself she did not wish to see what + they were carrying past. But were they going past? She heard + them still, tramping slowly on toward her house; would they + pass by with their burden? She put down the light, for her + hand trembled too much to hold it; and she stood listening, + her ears quickened for every sound, and her white face turned + toward the closed and fastened door. + </p> + <p> + A knock came upon it, which almost caused her to shriek + aloud. Yet it was a quiet rap, and a neighbor's voice + answered as she asked tremulously who was there. She hastened + to open the door, so welcome was the sound of the well-known + voice; but there, opposite to her, in the driving rain, + rested the hurdle, with the confused mass lying huddled + together upon it. The men who bore it were silent, standing + with their faces turned toward her; all of them strangers, + except the one neighbor, who was on her threshold. + </p> + <p> + "They found him lying out in the fields near the Woodhouse + farm," said her neighbor, in a loud whisper; "he'd strayed + there, we reckon." + </p> + <p> + "Is he dead?" she asked, mechanically. + </p> + <p> + "Not dead, bless your heart! no!" was the answer; "we'll + carry him in. There now! Don't take on. There's a special + providence over folks like him; they never come to much harm, + you know. Show us where to lay him." + </p> + <p> + Ann Holland made way for the men to pass her, as they carried + their burden into the quiet, pleasant kitchen. She followed + with the light, and looked down upon him; her brother, who + had played with her, and learned the same lessons, when they + were innocent little children together. His gray hair was + matted, and his bloated face smeared with dust and damp. He + was barefooted and bareheaded. But as she gazed down upon + him, and listened to his heavy struggle for breath, she cried + in a tone of terror. "He is dying." + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter11">CHAPTER XI.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + LOST + </h3> + <p> + An hour later the house was comparatively quiet again. A + doctor had been, and said nothing could be done for Richard + Holland, except to let him die where he was undisturbed. The + men who had carried him home had dispersed, or had adjourned + to the Upton Arms, to drink, and to talk over this close of a + drunkard's life. The news had in some way reached the + Rectory; and now only Mr. Chantrey and Ann Holland watched + beside him. They had laid him, as he was, on the little + white-covered sofa in the parlor, never so soiled before. Mr. + Chantrey sat gazing at the degraded, dying man. No deeper + debasement could come to any human being; almost the likeness + of a human being had been lost. The mire and slough of the + ditch into which he had fallen still clung to him; for only + his face had been hastily washed clean by his sister's hand; + a face that had forfeited all intelligence and seemliness; a + coarse, squalid, disfigured face. Yet Ann was not repulsed by + it; her tears fell upon it; and once she had bent over it, + and kissed it gently. Now and then she put her mouth close to + the deafened ear, and spoke to him, calling him by fond + names, and imploring him to give some sign that he heard, and + knew her. But there was no sign. The heavy breathing grew + more thick and labored, yet feebler as the time passed slowly + on. David Chantrey marvelled at the poor sister's patience + and tenderness. + </p> + <p> + "Don't trouble to stay with me, sir," she said, at last, "I + thought perhaps he'd come to himself, and you'd say a word to + him. But there's no hope of that now." + </p> + <p> + "No," he answered, "I will not go, Ann," and his-voice + trembled with dread. "Do you think my wife could ever be as + bad as this?" + </p> + <p> + "God forbid!" she cried, earnestly. "God keep her from it! + Oh! if she could but see; if she could but know! But he + wasn't always like this. He was a kind, good-natured, clever + man once. It's drinking that's ruined him." + </p> + <p> + "I will stay with you to the end," said Mr. Chantrey; "it is + fit for me. You are teaching me a lesson of patience, Ann. + All this day I have been thinking if it would be possible for + me to give up my wife, and send her away from me, to end her + days apart from mine. I have been in despair; in the very + deeps. But now; why! even if I knew she would die thus, I + cannot forsake her." + </p> + <p> + "Ay! we must have patience," she answered. "I always hoped to + win him back again, but it was too strong for him and me. God + knows how he's been tempted on all hands; even those that + call themselves religious, and go to church regular as can + be. He used to cry to me sometimes, and promise to turn over + a new leaf; and then somebody perhaps that he looked up to + would treat him at the Upton Arms. He might have been a good + man, if he'd been left alone." + </p> + <p> + "Let us pray together for him and ourselves," said Mr. + Chantrey, kneeling down once again by the little couch, as he + had knelt the night of his return home. Ann still held her + brother's head upon her arm, and her bowed face nearly rested + upon it. But all words failed David Chantrey. "Father!" he + cried, "Father!" There was nothing more that he could say. It + was the single, despairing call of a soul that was full of + trouble; that was "laid in the lowest pit, in darkness, in + the deeps." But the bewildered brain of the dying man caught + the cry, and he muttered it over to himself; "Father! father! + where is he?" + </p> + <p> + "It's God, our Father who art in heaven," said Ann Holland, + uttering the words very slowly and distinctly in his ear; + "try to think of Him, and pray to Him. He'll hear you, even + now." + </p> + <p> + "Father!" he muttered again, "why! he'd be ashamed of his + boy." + </p> + <p> + "It's God," she said, keeping down her sobs, "you've no other + father. Think of Him: God, who loves you." + </p> + <p> + "He'd be ashamed of me," repeated the dying man. + </p> + <p> + For a minute or two he kept on whispering to himself words + they could not hear, except the one word "shame." Then all + was still. The miserable end had come; and neither love nor + patience could avail him anything on this side the grave. He + had gone as a drunkard into the presence of his Judge. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter12">CHAPTER XII.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + A COLONIAL CURACY + </h3> + <p> + The death of Richard Holland might have had a salutary effect + upon Sophy Chantrey, if it had not been for the shock of + learning how deeply she had disgraced herself and her husband + in the sight of his people. She felt that she could never + again face those who had seen her on that Sunday morning. She + shut herself up in her room, refusing to admit any one, + except the servant who waited upon her, and steadily set + herself against any communication with the world outside. + Even her husband she would hardly speak to; and her child she + would not see. The strain and stress of her remorse was more + than she could bear. Before the week was gone, she had fled + for forgetfulness to the vice which bound her in so heavy a + chain. All the cunning of her nature, so strangely perverted, + was put into action to procure a supply of the stimulants she + craved; and she escaped from her misery for a little while by + losing herself in suicidal lethargy and stupefaction. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Chantrey himself felt it to be impossible to meet the + gaze of his usual congregation; he shrank even from walking + through the streets of his own town, while his shame was + fresh upon him. He exchanged duties with fellow-clergymen, + and so evaded the immediate difficulty. But he knew that this + could not go on for long. He could not conscientiously retain + a position such as he held, if he had not the moral and + mental strength necessary for the discharge of its + obligations. Strength of all kinds seemed to fail him. His + physical vitality was low; the health he had gained in + Madeira had been too severely taxed since his return. He had + fought bravely against the mental feebleness that was + creeping gradually over him with a paralyzing languor; but he + knew he could not bear the conflict much longer. Everything + was telling against him. He would fain have proved to his + people that a man can live out a noble, useful, Christ-like + life, under crushing sorrows, and shame that was worse than + sorrow. But it was not in him to do it. He found himself + feeble and crippled, in the very thick of life's battle; and + it appeared to him that his position as rector of the parish + rendered his feebleness tenfold disastrous. + </p> + <p> + But this decay of power came slowly, though surely. By the + close of his second winter in England he felt within himself + that he must quit his country again, if he wished to live + only a few years longer. There had been no bright sunny spot + of gladness for him, no gleam of hope throughout the whole + winter. He had been compelled to send his boy away again to + school, to shield him from seeing the disgrace of his mother. + His friends had almost ceased to come to his house, and he + had no heart to go to theirs. It was only now and then that + he accepted his aunt's invitations to dine alone with her. + </p> + <p> + "Aunt," he said one evening, when they two were alone + together in her fantastic drawing-room, "I have resigned my + living." + </p> + <p> + "Resigned your living!" she repeated, in utter amazement, + "resigned Upton Rectory!" + </p> + <p> + She could hardly pronounce the words; and she gazed at him + with an air of bewilderment which brought a smile to his + careworn face. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," he answered, "life has grown intolerable to me here." + </p> + <p> + "And what do you mean to do?" she asked. + </p> + <p> + "I am going out to my friend Warden," he replied, "who has a + charge in New Zealand; he promises me a curacy under him, if + I can get nothing better. But I am sure of a charge of my own + very soon." + </p> + <p> + "A curate to Warden! a curate in New Zealand!" ejaculated + Mrs. Bolton. "David, are you mad?" + </p> + <p> + "Not mad, but in most sober sadness," he said. "Life is + impossible to me here, and under my circumstances; and I wish + to live a few years longer for Sophy's sake, and my boy's. + New Zealand is the very place for me." + </p> + <p> + "But you can go away again for a year or two," said his aunt, + "and come back when your health is restored. The bishop will + give you permission readily. You must not give up your living + because your health fails." + </p> + <p> + "The bishop has my resignation, and my reasons for it," + answered Mr. Chantrey, "and ho has accepted it kindly and + regretfully, he says; but he fully approves of it. All there + is to be done now is to sell our household goods, and sail + for a new home, in a new world." + </p> + <p> + "And Sophy?" gasped Mrs. Bolton; "what do you mean to do with + her? Where shall you leave her?" + </p> + <p> + "She must come with me," he said; "I shall never leave her + again. It will be a new chance for her: and with God's help + she may yet conquer. Even if she cannot, it will be easier + for me to bear my burden among strangers than here, where + every one knows all about us. A missionary curate in New + Zealand will be a very different personage from the rector of + Upton." + </p> + <p> + He looked at his aunt with a smile, and an expression of + hope, such as had not lit up his gray face for many a month. + This new life opening before him, with all its social + disadvantages, and many privations, would give his wife such + an opportunity for recovery as the conventionalities of + society at home could not furnish. Hope had visited him + again, and he cherished it as a most welcome visitant. + </p> + <p> + "Good Heavens!" cried Mrs. Bolton, lost in astonishment, + "David, you must not throw yourself away in this manner! I + will see the bishop myself, and recall to his memory his old + friendship for the archdeacon. He cannot have promised the + living yet to any one. What would become of me, here in + Upton, settled as I am, with a stranger in the rectory? Why + did you not ask my advice before taking such a rash step?" + </p> + <p> + "Because I should not have followed your advice," he + answered. "I settled the whole matter in my own mind before I + broached it even to Warden. It is the only chance for us + both. I am a broken, defeated man." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, my boy!" she exclaimed, with tears in her eyes, "I + cannot consent to your going away. You have always been my + favorite nephew; and I could not endure to see a stranger in + your place. It is all Sophy's fault. And why should you + sacrifice your life, and Charlie's, for her? Let some place + at a distance be found for her; no one will blame you, and + you will not suffer so much from the disgrace, if you do not + witness it. Only stay in Upton, and all I have shall be + yours. It will be a happy place to you again, if you will + only wait patiently for brighter days." + </p> + <p> + "No," he said, sorrowfully; "it has been a pleasant place to + me, but it can never be so again. I must go for Sophy's sake. + There is no hope for her here; there is hope for her among + new scenes and fresh influences. I have spoken to her about + it, and she is eager to go; she feels that there would be a + chance for her. To turn away from my purpose now would be to + doom her to her sin without hope of deliverance. It would be + impossible for me to do that." + </p> + <p> + It was a terrible blow to Mrs. Bolton. She foresaw endless + mortifications and heartburnings for herself in the presence, + and under the rule, of a strange rector at Upton, over whom + she would have no more authority or influence than any other + parishioner. Besides, she was really fond of her nephew, and + anxious to make his life smooth and agreeable to him. No one + could be blind to the fact that his health was giving way + again, and she thought with some apprehension of the life of + hardship and poverty he was choosing. That he should throw + away all that was desirable and advantageous for the sake of + his wife, who was merely a trouble and dishonor to him, was + an infatuation that she could not understand. He pointed out + to her that he was also losing his influence over his people, + and she maintained that even this was no reason why he should + give up a suitable living and a pleasant rectory. At last, + angry with him, and apprehensive for her future position in + the parish, she refused to listen any longer to his + representations, and spent the few weeks that intervened + before their departure in a state of offended estrangement. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter13">CHAPTER XIII.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + SELF-SACRIFICE + </h3> + <p> + All Upton was thrown into a ferment by the unexpected news + that their rector had resigned his living, and was about to + emigrate to New Zealand. At first it was declared too strange + to be true. Then in a few of the lower class taverns it was + said to be too good to be true; but in the Upton Arms, where + the landlady considered it her duty to be regular at church, + and even the landlord thought it the thing to go there pretty + often, a civil amount of regret was expressed. It was the + fault of his wife, said most of the respectable parishioners, + who unfortunately did not know when she had had enough of a + good thing. Even those who were in the same plight with + herself threw a stone at poor Sophy when they heard that + their pleasant-spoken, affable, popular rector, as he used to + be, was about to flee his country. Very few sympathized with + him. He was taking an unheard-of, preposterous, fanatical + course. How could a man in his senses give up a living of + £400 a year, with a pretty rectory and glebe-land, for + a colonial curacy? + </p> + <p> + But there was one person who heard the news, and brooded over + it silently, with very different feelings. The last few + months had been very tranquil ones for Ann Holland. The one + anxiety of her quiet life had been removed, and after the + first sorrow was passed she had found her home a very + peaceful place without her brother. Her old neighbors could + come in now to take tea with her without any dread of being + rudely disturbed. The business did not suffer; it was rather + increasing, and she had had some thoughts of employing a + second journeyman. But to hear that Mr. Chantrey was going to + leave Upton, and that very soon she should see neither him + nor Charlie, who made her house so merry whenever he ran in, + was as great a blow to her as to Mrs. Bolton. + </p> + <p> + Ann Holland had been born in the house she lived in, and had + never dwelt anywhere else. All her world lay within the + compass of a few miles from it, among the farm-houses where + her business or her early friendships had made her acquainted + with the inhabitants. The people of Upton only were her + fellow-countrymen; all others were foreigners, and to her, + lawful objects of mistrust. Every other land save her own + seemed a strange and perilous place. Of New Zealand she had + not even any vague ideas, for it was nothing but a name to + her. She had far clearer views of heaven, of that other world + into which she had seen so many of her childhood's friends + pass away. To lie down upon her bed and die would have been a + familiar journey to her compared with that strange voyage + across boundless seas to a country of which she knew nothing + but the name. + </p> + <p> + Yet they were going—Mr. Chantrey, with his failing + health; Mrs. Chantrey, a victim to a miserable vice; and + Charlie, the young, inexperienced boy. What a helpless set! + She tried to picture them passing through the discomforts and + dangers of a savage life, as she supposed it to be; Mr. + Chantrey ill, poor, friendless, and homeless. Upon her screen + were the announcements of his coming to the living, of his + marriage, the birth of both children, and the death of one. + She read them over word for word, with eyes fast filling and + growing dim with tears. Very soon there would be another + column in the newspaper telling of his resignation and + departure—perhaps shortly afterward of his death. He + would die in that far-off country, with no one to care for + him or nurse him except his unhappy wife. She could not bear + to think of it. She must go with them. + </p> + <p> + But how could she ever bear to quit Upton? All her own people + were buried in the churchyard there, and she kept their + graves green with turf, and their headstones free from moss. + She had no memories or associations anywhere else, and she + clung to all such memories and cherished them fondly. There + was no one in Upton who knew the pedigrees of every family as + she did. Even her household goods, old and quaint as they + were, had a halo from the light of other days about them. How + many persons, dead and gone now, had she seen sit opposite to + her in that old arm-chair! How often had childish faces + looked laughingly at themselves in her pewter plates? Her + mother's chairs and sofa, worked in tent-stitch, which only + saw the daylight twice a year—what would become of + them, and what common uses would they be put to in any other + house? Her heart failed her when she thought of leaving these + things. It was not, moreover, simply leaving them, as she + would have to do when she died, but she must see them sold + and scattered before her eyes, and behold the vacant places + empty and forlorn, without their old belongings. Could she + bear to be so uprooted? + </p> + <p> + "Sir," she said one evening, when Mr. Chantrey, worn out with + the conflict of his own parting with his people, was sitting + depressed and silent by her fireside, "Mr. Chantrey, are you + thinking of taking out a servant with you?" + </p> + <p> + "No," he answered; "the cost would be too much. You forget we + are going to be poor folks out yonder, Ann. Don't you + remember telling me it might have been better for my wife if + she had had to work hard for Charlie and me?" + </p> + <p> + "That was long ago," she replied; "it's different now. Who's + to mind you if you are ill? and who's to see Master Charlie + kept nice, like a gentleman's son? I've been thinking it + would break my heart to sit at home thinking of you all. + There is nothing to keep me here, now my poor brother's gone. + Take me with you, sir." + </p> + <p> + "No, no!" he exclaimed, vehemently—so vehemently that + she knew how his heart leaped at the thought of it; "you must + not sacrifice yourself for us. What! give up this pleasant + home of yours, and all your old friends?! No; it cannot be." + </p> + <p> + "There'd be trouble in it," she said; "but it would be a + harder trouble to think of you in foreign parts, with none + but savages about you, and no roof over your head, and wild + beasts marauding about." + </p> + <p> + "Not so bad as that," he interrupted, smiling so cheerfully + that her own face brightened. "There are no wild beasts, and + not many natives, and I shall have a home of my own + somewhere." + </p> + <p> + "I could never sleep at nights," she went on, "or eat my + bread in comfort, for wondering about you. I don't want to be + a cost to you; and when I've sold all, I shall have a little + sum of money in hand that will keep me a year or two after my + passage is paid. I'm not too old for work yet. If it's too + bad a place for me to go to, what must it be for you? And + you're not as strong as you ought to be, sir. If anything + should happen to you out there, you'd like to know I was with + them you love, taking care of them." + </p> + <p> + "It would be a greater comfort than I can tell," said Mr. + Chantrey, in a tremulous voice. "Now and then the thought + crosses my mind that I might die yonder; and what would + become of Sophy and Charlie, left so desolate? There's + Warden; but he is too austere and harsh, good as he is. But, + Ann, I ought not to let you come." + </p> + <p> + "There's no duty to keep me at home," she answered. "If my + poor brother was alive, I could never forsake him, you know; + but that is all over now. And I could have patience with her, + poor lady! Aye, I'd have patience for her own sake as well as + yours. She could never try me as I've been tried. And I've + great hopes of her. Maybe if James, poor fellow, could have + broken off all his old ways, and begun again fresh, turning + over a new leaf where folks hadn't seen the old one, he might + have been saved. I've great hopes of Mrs. Chantrey; and + nobody could help her as I could. It seems almost as if our + blessed Lord laid this thing before me, and asked me to do it + for his sake. Sure if he asked me to go all round the world + for him, I couldn't say no. To go to New Zealand with folks I + love will be nothing to him leaving heaven, with his Father + and the holy angels there, to live and work like a poor man + in this world, and to die on the cross at the end of all." + </p> + <p> + Her voice fell into its lowest and tenderest key as she spoke + these last words, and the tears stood in her eyes, as if the + thought of Christ's life, so long familiar, had started into + a new meaning for her. The opportunity for copying Him more + literally than she had ever done before was granted to her, + and her spirit sprang forward eagerly to seize it. Mr. + Chantrey sat silent, yet with a lighter heart than he had had + for months. He felt that if Ann Holland went out with them + half his load would be gone. There was a brighter hope for + Sophy, and there would be a sure friend for his boy, whatever + his own fate might be. Yet he shrank from accepting such a + sacrifice, and could only see the selfishness of doing so at + the first moment. + </p> + <p> + "You must take another week to think of it," he said. + </p> + <p> + But when the week was ended Ann Holland was more confirmed in + her wish than before. The news that she was going out with + Mr. Chantrey's family caused as great a stir in the town as + that of the rector's resignation. The Hollands had always + been saddlers in Upton, and all the true old Upton people had + faithfully adhered to them, never being tempted away by + interlopers from London or other places, who professed to do + better work at lower prices. To be sure the last male Holland + was gone, but every one knew that his only share in the + business for many years had been the spending of the money it + brought in. That Ann Holland should give up her good trade + and go out as servant to the Chantreys—for so it was + represented by the news-bearers—was an unheard-of, + incredible thing. Many were the remonstrances she had to + listen to, and to answer as best she could. + </p> + <p> + It was a bitter day for Ann Holland when she saw her + treasured household furniture sold by auction and scattered + to the four winds. Many of her old neighbors bought for + themselves some mementoes of the place they knew so well, but + the bulk of the larger articles were sold without sentiment + or feeling. It was a pang to part with each one of them, as + they were carried off to some strange or hostile house to be + put to common uses. The bare walls and empty rooms that were + left, which she had never seen bare and empty before, seemed + terribly new, yet familiar to her. She wandered through them + for a few minutes, loitering in each one as she thought of + all that had happened to her during her monotonous life; and + then, with a sorrowful yet brave heart, she walked along the + street to the rectory, which was already dismantled and bare + like the home she had just left. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter14">CHAPTER XIV.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + FAREWELLS + </h3> + <p> + During these busy weeks Mrs. Bolton had looked on in almost + sullen silence, except when now and then she had broken out + into a passionate invective of her nephew's madness. He had + never been indifferent to the luxuries and refinements that + give a charm to life, and her nature could not comprehend how + all these were poisoned at their source for him. He was eager + to exchange them for a chance of a true home, however lowly + that home might be. He would willingly have gone to the wilds + of Siberia, if by so doing he could secure his wife's + reformation An almost feverish haste possessed him. To carry + her away from Upton, from England, and to enter upon a quite + new career in a strange place, and to accomplish this plan + quickly, absorbed him nearly to the exclusion of any other + thought. Mrs. Bolton felt herself very much neglected and + greatly aggrieved. Her plans were frustrated and her comforts + threatened, yet her nephew hardly seemed to think of + her—he for whom she had done so much, who would not + have been even rector of Upton but for the late archdeacon. + </p> + <p> + Yet she relented a little from her displeasure as the day for + parting came. She was as fond of him and his boy as her + nature would allow. Sophy had never been otherwise than an + object of her jealousy, and now she positively detested her. + But when Mr. Chantrey came on the last evening to sit an hour + or two with her, and she saw, as with newly-opened eyes, his + care-worn face and wearied, feeble frame, her heart quite + melted toward him. + </p> + <p> + "Remember," she said, eagerly, "you can come back again + whenever yon choose, as soon as you grow sure how useless + this mad scheme is. I wish I could have persuaded you to keep + on your living, but yon are too wilful. You are welcome to + draw upon me for funds to return at any time, and I shall + supply them gladly, and give you a home here. If yon find + your expectations fail, promise me to come back." + </p> + <p> + "And bring Sophy with me?" he asked, with almost a smile. + </p> + <p> + "No, no," she answered, shrinking involuntarily from the idea + of having her in her house. "Oh, my poor boy! what can yon + do?" + </p> + <p> + "I can only bear the burden sin lays upon me," he said. "It + is not permitted to us to shake off the iniquities of others. + All of us, more or less, must share in the sufferings of + Christ, bearing our portion of the sins of the world, which + he bore, even unto death. I am ready to die, if that will + save my poor Sophy from her sin. + </p> + <p> + "But all that makes a Christian life so miserable!" exclaimed + Mrs. Bolton. + </p> + <p> + "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, then are we of + all men most miserable," he answered. + </p> + <p> + "And you would teach that we must give up everything," she + cried, "all advantages, and blessings, and innocent + indulgences, and pleasures of every kind?" + </p> + <p> + "If the sins or temptations of those about call for such a + sacrifice, we must give them up, every one," he replied; + "they are no longer blessings or innocent indulgences. If God + calls upon us to make some sacrifice, and we refuse to do it, + do you think he will yield like some weak parent, who will + suffer his child to run the risk of serious injury rather + than give him present pain? The whole law of our life is + sacrifice, as it was the law of Christ's life. It is possible + that some small self-denial at the right moment may spare us + some costly expiation later on. Christianity must perish if + it loses sight of this law." + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Bolton did not answer him. Was he thinking of her own + refusal to remove temptation out of the way of his wife when + she first began to fall into her fatal habit? He was not in + reality thinking of her at all, but her conscience pricked + her, though her pride kept her silent. It was such an + unheard-of course for a person in her station, that none but + fanatics could expect her to take it. Quixotic, irrational, + eccentric, visionary, were words that flitted incoherently + through her brain; but her tongue refused to utter them. Was + Christ then so prudent, so cautious, so anxious to secure + innocent indulgences and to grasp worldly advantages? Could + she think of Him making life easy and comfortable to Himself + while hundreds of thousands, nay, millions of unhappy souls + were hurrying each year into misery and ruin? + </p> + <p> + There was not much conversation between her and her nephew; + for as a parting draws very near, our memories refuse to + serve us, and we forget to say the many, many things we may + perhaps never again have any season for saying. They bade one + another farewell tenderly and sorrowfully; and he went out, + under the tranquil, starry sky, to wander once more beside + the grave of his little child, and under the old gray walls + of his church. He had not known till now how hard the trial + would be. Up to this time he had been kept incessantly + occupied with the numberless arrangements necessary for so + great a change; but these were all completed. He had said + farewell to his people; but the aching of his own great + personal grief and shame had prevented him from feeling that + separation too forcibly. But the stir and excitement were + over for the hour. Here there were no cold, curious eyes + fastened upon him; no fear of any harsh voice putting into + words of untimely lamentation the unacknowledged reason of + his departure. The beloved familiar places, so quiet yet so + full of associations to him, had full power over his spirit; + and he could not resist them. The very ivy-leaves rustling + against the tower, and the low, sleepy chirp of the little + birds disturbed by his tread, were dear to him. What, then, + was the church itself, every lineament of which he knew as + well as if they were the features of a friend? It was a + beautiful old church; but if it had been the homeliest and + barest building ever erected, he must still have mourned over + the pulpit, where he had taught his people; the pews, where + their listening faces were lifted up to him; the little + vestry, where he had spent so many peaceful hours. And the + small mound, blooming with flowers, under which his child + slept, how much power had that over him! He paced restlessly + up and down beneath the solemn yew-trees, his heart breaking + over them all. To-morrow by this time he would have left them + far behind him; and never more would his eyes behold them, or + his feet tread the path he had so often trod. They seemed to + cry to him like living, sentient things. To and fro he + wandered, while the silent stars and the waning moon, lying + low in the sky above the church, looked down upon him with a + pale and mournful light. At last the morning came; and he + remembered that to-day he must quit them all, and sail for a + far-off country. + </p> + <p> + The vessel Mr. Chantrey had chosen for the long voyage was a + merchant ship, sailing for Melbourne, under a captain who had + been an early friend of his own, and who knew the reason for + his leaving England. No other cabin passengers had taken + berths on board her, though there were a few emigrants in the + steerage. Captain Scott, himself a water-drinker, had + arranged that no intoxicating beverages, in any form, should + appear in the saloon. The steward was strictly forbidden to + supply them to any person except Mr. Chantrey himself. This + enforced abstinence, the complete change of scene, and the + fresh sea-breezes during the protracted voyage, he reckoned + upon as the best means of restoring his wife to health of + body and mind. Ann Holland, too, would watch over her as + vigilantly and patiently as himself; and Charlie would be + always at hand to amuse her with his boyish chatter. A bright + hope was already dawning upon him. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter15">CHAPTER XV.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + IN DESPAIR + </h3> + <p> + It was early in June when they set sail; and as the vessel + floated down the Channel somewhat slowly against the western + wind Ann Holland spent most of her time on deck, watching, + often with dim eyes, the coasts of England, as they glided + past her. She could still hardly realize the change that had + torn her so completely away from her old life. It made her + brain swim to think of Upton, and the old neighbors going + about the streets on their daily business, and the + church-clock striking out the hours; and the sun rising and + setting, and the days passing by, and she not there. It felt + all a dream to her; an odd, inexplicable, endless dream, + which never could become as real as the old days had been. + Her thoughts were all busy with the past, recalling faces and + events long ago forgotten; she scarcely ever looked on to the + end of the voyage. The sea was calm, and the soft wind sang + low among the rigging, while point after point along the + shores stole by, and were lost to sight almost unheeded, + though she could not turn her steadfast, sorrowful gaze from + them till she could see them no more. Yet when Mr. Chantrey, + reproaching himself for bringing her, asked her if she + repented, she was always ready to say heartily that she would + not go back, and leave them, for the world. + </p> + <p> + Charlie alone of them all was quite happy in the change. For + the last nine months he had been constantly at school; seldom + going home, and then but for a day or two, when his mother + was at her best. The boy found himself all at once set free + from school restraints, restored to his father and mother, + who had no one else to interest them; and with all the + delights of a ship and a voyage added to his other joys. He + was wild with happiness. There was not one thing left him to + wish for; for even his mother's nervous state of health could + not cast any gloom upon his gladness. He had grown accustomed + to think of her as a confirmed invalid; and when she came on + deck he would sit quietly beside her for a little while, and + lower his clear young voice in speaking to her, without + feeling that his short-lived self-control damped his + pleasure. But she was not often there long enough to test his + devotion too greatly. + </p> + <p> + Sophy Chantrey was passing through a season of intense + misery, both of mind and body; more bitter even than the + wretchedness she had felt when she could indulge the craving + that had taken so deep a hold upon her. There was nothing + voluntary in her abstinence, and consequently neither + pleasure nor pride in being able to exercise self-command. + Her health was greatly enfeebled; and her mind had been + weakened almost to childishness. She felt as if her husband + was treating her cruelly; yet she could see keenly that it + was she who had brought ruin upon his future prospects, as + well as those of her boy. She had never been able to sink + into utter indifference; and she could not forget, strive as + she would, all the happy past, and the unutterably wretched + present. Here, on board ship, there was no chance for her to + procure the narcotics, with which she had lulled her + self-reproaches formerly. Her longing for such stimulants + amounted almost to delirium. She could not sleep for want of + them; and all day long she thought of them, and cried for + them, until her husband and Ann Holland could scarcely + persevere in refusing them to her. It seemed to them at times + as if she must lose her reason, the little that remained to + her, and become insane, unless they yielded to her vehement + entreaties. Even when, after the first week was gone, and the + craving was in some measure deadened, her spirits did not + rally. She would lie still on deck when her husband carried + her there, or on the narrow berth in their cabin, with eyes + closed, and hands listlessly folded, an image of despair. + </p> + <p> + "Sophy!" he cried one day, when she had not stirred, or + raised her eyelids for hours; "Sophy, do you wish to kill + me?" + </p> + <p> + "I have killed you," she muttered, still without moving, or + looking at him. + </p> + <p> + "Sophy," he answered, "you are dreaming Look up, and see me + here alive, beside you Life lies before us yet; for you and + me together." + </p> + <p> + "No," she said, "don't I know it is death to you to be tied to + me as you are? I am a curse to you, and you hate and loathe + me, as I do myself. But we cannot get rid of each other, you + and me. Oh! if I could but die, and set you free!" + </p> + <p> + "I do not hate you," he answered, tenderly; "you are still + very dear to me. I do not wish to be free from you." + </p> + <p> + "Then you ought," she cried, with sudden passion; "you ought + to hate that which degrades and shames you. I am dragging you + down to ruin; you and Charlie. Do you think I do not know it? + Oh! if I could but die. Perhaps I may live for many, many + years yet; live to be an old woman, a drunken old wretch! + Think what it will be to live for years and years with a lost + creature like me. It is death, and worse than death, for + you." + </p> + <p> + "But why should you be lost?" he asked; "have you never + thought of One who came to seek and to save that which is + lost?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes; He found me once," she said, in tones of despair, "He + found me once; but I strayed away again, wilfully, in spite + of His love, and all He had done for me. I knew what He had + done, and how He loved me; yet I went away from Him wilfully. + I chose ruin; and now He leaves me to my choice." + </p> + <p> + "This is the delusion of a sick brain," he answered; "you + have no power to think rightly of our Lord. Listen to what I + can tell you about Him, and His love for you." + </p> + <p> + "No," she interrupted; "none of you others know, you people + who have never fallen like me. You do not know what it is to + feel yourselves given up and sold to sin. You and Ann Holland + think you can save me by keeping temptation out of my way; + but I know that as soon as it comes again I shall be as weak + as water against it." + </p> + <p> + "Have you no wish to be saved, then?" he asked, his heart + sinking within him at her hopeless words. + </p> + <p> + "Wish to be saved!" she repeated; "did the rich man in + torments wish to be saved? He only asked for one drop of + water to cool his tongue but for a moment. He knew he could + not be saved, and he did not pray for it." + </p> + <p> + "Do you think that I have no wish for your salvation?" he + asked. "Am I leaving you in your sin? Have I done nothing, + given up nothing, to secure it? Has Ann Holland given up + nothing?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh! you have," she cried. "You are doing all you can for me, + but it is useless." + </p> + <p> + "Christ has done more," he said. "His love for you passes + ours infinitely. Then if you have not wearied out ours, can + you possibly exhaust his? He can stoop to you in all your + misery and sinfulness, if you will but stretch out your hand + toward Him. There is no sin He will not forgive, and none He + cannot conquer, if you will but rouse yourself to work with + Him. Against your own will He cannot save you." + </p> + <p> + "I will try," she murmured. + </p> + <p> + Yet time after time the same subject, almost in the same + words, was renewed. Sophy's enfeebled brain could not long + retain the thought of a divine love and power, which was + ceaselessly though secretly striving to reclaim her. There + was no opportunity for her to exert her own will, for she + could not be tempted in her present circumstances, and the + strength gained by such an exertion was impossible to her. + Again and again, with untiring patience, did Mr. Chantrey + give ear to her despairing utterances, and meet them with + soothing arguments. But often he felt himself on the verge of + despair, doubtful of the truths he was trying so earnestly to + implant again in her heart. In the smooth happy days of old, + both of them had believed them. But now he asked himself, + Does God indeed care? Does He see and know? Is He near at + hand, and not afar off? + </p> + <p> + Their vessel had entered the tropical seas, and a profound + unbroken monotony reigned around them. They had not sighted + land since the shores of England had sunk below the horizon. + A waste of waters encircled them, and a dead calm prevailed. + Through the sultry and hazy atmosphere no rain fell in + cooling showers. Day after day the sea was of perfect + stillness, and an oppressive silence, as of death, brooded + over the low, regular heaving of the waters. The dry torrid + heat was exhausting, and the ship with its idle sails made + but little way across the quiet sea. Mr. Chantrey's weakened + frame suffered greatly, and even Ann Holland's brave and + cheery spirit almost sank into despondency. + </p> + <p> + "If it hadn't been for Mrs. Chantrey," she thought + mournfully, "we should all have been at Upton now, as happy + as the day's long. The summer's at its height there, and the + harvest is being gathered in. How cool it would be under the + chestnut-trees, or under the church walls! Mr. Chantrey's + sinking, plain enough, and what is to become of us if he + should die before we get to that foreign land? Dear, dear! + whoever would go to sea if they could get only a place to lay + their heads on land?" + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter16">CHAPTER XVI.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + A LONG VOYAGE + </h3> + <p> + It was a dreary and monotonous time. After the sun had gone + down, red and sullen, through the haze, and when the ship + left a long track of phosphorescent light sparkling behind + it, Mr. Chantrey would pace up and down the deck, as he had + often walked to and fro in the churchyard paths in the + starlight. He had many things to think of. For his wife his + hope was strengthening; a dim star shone before him in the + future. Her brain was gradually regaining clearness, and her + mind strength. Something of the old buoyancy and elasticity + was returning to her, for she would play sometimes with her + child merrily, and her laugh was like music to him. But how + would it be in the hour of temptation, which must come? She + said her craving for stimulants was passing away; but how + would she bear being again able to procure them? He would + watch over her and guard her as long as he lived, but what + would become of her if he should die? + </p> + <p> + This last question was becoming every day more and more + urgent. The exhausting oppressive heat and the protracted + voyage were sapping his strength, and he knew it. The fresh + sweet sea-breezes on which he had reckoned had failed him, + and he was consciously nearer death than when he left + England. He longed eagerly for life and health, that he might + see his wife and child in happier circumstances before he + died. To leave them thus seemed intolerable to him. What was + he to do with his boy? He could not leave him in the care of + a mother not yet delivered from the bondage of such a fatal + sin. Yet to separate him harshly from her would almost + certainly doom her to continue in it. If life might be spared + to him only a few years longer, he would probably see her + once more a fitting guardian for their child. The growing + hope for her, the dim dread for himself—these two held + alternate sway over him as he paced to and fro under the + southern skies. + </p> + <p> + Captain Scott, his friend, urged upon him that there was one + remedy open to him, and only one on board the ship. The long + stress and strain upon his physical as well as his mental + health had weakened him until his strength was slowly ebbing + away; his heart beat feebly, and his whole system had fallen + under a nervous depression. Now was the time when, as a + medicine, the alcohol, which was poison and death to his + wife, would prove restoration to him. Could he but keep up + his vital powers until the voyage was ended, all would be + well with him. His life might be prolonged for those few + years he so ardently desired. He could still watch over his + wife, and protect his child during boyhood, and die in + peace—young perhaps, but having accomplished what he + had set his mind upon. But Sophy? How could she bear this + unexpected temptation? He did not suppose he could + effectually conceal it from her, for of late she had clung to + him like a child, following him about humbly and meekly, with + a touching dependence upon him, striving to catch his eye and + to smile faintly when he looked at her, as a child might do + who was seeking to win forgiveness. She was very feeble and + delicate still, her appetite was as dainty as his own, and + the heat oppressed her almost as much as himself. Yet that + which might save him would certainly destroy her. + </p> + <p> + Day after day the debate with Captain Scott was resumed. But + there was no real debate in his own mind. He would gladly + take the remedy if he could do so with safety to his wife, + but not for a thousand lives would he endanger her soul. Not + for the certainty of prolonging his own years would he take + from her the merest chance of overcoming her sin. To do it + for an uncertainty was impossible. + </p> + <p> + There was hope for him still, if the vessel could but get + past these sultry seas into a cooler climate. One good fresh + sea-breeze would do him more good than any stimulant, and + they were slowly gliding to latitudes where they might meet + them at any hour. Once out of the tropics, and around the + Cape of Good Hope, there would be no fear of exhausting heat + in the air they breathed. All his languor would be gone and + the rest of the voyage would bring health and vigor to his + fevered frame. Only let them double the Cape, and a new life + in a new world lay before them. + </p> + <p> + His brain felt confused and delirious at times, but he knew + it so well that he grew used to sit down silently in the bow + of the ship, and let the dizzy dreams pass over him, careful + not to alarm his wife or Ann Holland. Cool visions of the + pleasant English home he had quitted for ever; the shadows + and the calm of his church, where the sunshine slanted in + through narrow windows made green with ivy-leaves; the + rustling of leaves in the elm-trees on his lawn in the soft + low wind of a summer's evening; the deep grassy glades of + thick woods, where he had loved to walk; the murmuring and + tinkling of hidden brooks—all these flitted across his + clouded mind as he sat speechless, with his throbbing head + resting upon his hands. Often his wife crouched beside him, + herself silent, thinking sadly how he was brooding over all + the wrong and injury she had done him, yet fearing in her + humiliation to ask him if it were so. Her repentance was very + deep and real, her love for him very true. Yet she dreaded + the hour when she must face temptation again. She could not + even bear to think of it. + </p> + <p> + But shortly after they had passed the southern tropic, as + they neared the Cape, the climate changed suddenly, with so + swift an alteration that from sultry heat of a torrid summer + they plunged almost directly into the biting cold of winter. + As they doubled the Cape a strong north-west gale met them, + with icy cold in its blast. The ropes were frozen, and the + sails grew stiff with hoar-frost. Rough seas rolled about + them, tossing the vessel like a toy upon their waves. The + change was too sudden and too great. All the passengers were + ill, and David Chantrey lay down in his low, narrow berth, + knowing well that no hope was left to him. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter17">CHAPTER XVII.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + ALMOST SHIPWRECKED + </h3> + <p> + Sophy Chantrey was left alone to nurse her dying husband, for + Ann Holland was lying ill in her own cabin, ignorant of his + extremity. Captain Scott came down for a minute or two, but + he could not stay beside him. His presence was sorely needed + on deck, yet he lingered awhile, looking sorrowfully at his + friend. Sophy watched him with a clearer and keener glance in + her blue eyes than he had ever yet seen in them. + </p> + <p> + "What is the matter with him?" she asked, following him to + the cabin door. + </p> + <p> + "As near dying as possible," he answered, gruffly. He + believed that a good life had been sacrificed to a bad one, + and he could not bring himself to speak softly to the woman + who was the cause of it. + </p> + <p> + "Dying!" she cried. There was no color to fade from her face, + but the light died from her eyes, and the word faltered on + her lips. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," he answered, "dying." + </p> + <p> + "Sophy, come to me," called her husband, in feeble tones. + </p> + <p> + She left the captain, and returned at once to his side. The + low berth was almost on the floor, and she had to kneel to + bring her face nearer to his. It was night, and the only + light was the dim glimmer of an oil-lamp, which the captain + had hung to the ceiling, and which swung to and fro with the + lurching of the ship. The wind was whistling shrilly among + the rigging, and every plank and board in the vessel groaned + and creaked under the beating of the waves. Now and then her + feet were ankle-deep in water, and she dreaded to see it + sweep over the low berth. In the rare intervals of the storm + she could hear the hurried movements overhead, and the shouts + of the sailors as they called to one another from the + rigging. But vaguely she heard, and saw, and felt. Her + husband's face, white and haggard and thin, with his gray + hair and his eyes sunken with unshed tears, was all that she + could distinctly realize. + </p> + <p> + "Sophy," he said, "do not leave me again." + </p> + <p> + He held out his hand, and she laid hers into it, shuddering + as she felt its chilly grasp. Her head fell on to the pillow + beside his, and her lips, close to his ear, spoke to him + through sobs. + </p> + <p> + "Is there nothing that can be done?" she cried. "It is I who + have killed you. Must you really die for my sin, and leave + us?" + </p> + <p> + "I think I must die," he said, touching her head softly with + his feeble hand. "I would live for you if I could—for + you and my poor boy. Sophy, promise me while I can hear you, + while you can speak to me, promise me you will never fall + into this sin again." + </p> + <p> + "How can I?" she cried. "I have killed you, and now who will + care?" + </p> + <p> + "God will care," he said, faintly, "and I shall care; + wherever I may be I shall care. Promise me, my darling, my + poor girl!" + </p> + <p> + "I promise you," she answered, with a deep sob. + </p> + <p> + "You will never let yourself enter into temptation?" + </p> + <p> + "Never!" she cried. + </p> + <p> + "Never taste it; never look at it; never think of it, if + possible. Promise," he whispered again. + </p> + <p> + "Never!" she sobbed; "never! Oh, live, and you shall see me + conquer. God will help me to conquer, and you will help me. + Do not leave us. O God, do not let him die!" + </p> + <p> + But he did not hear her. A faintness and numbness that seemed + like death, which had been creeping languidly through his + veins for some time, darkened his eyes and sealed his lips. + He could not see her, and her voice sounded far away. She + called again and again upon him, but there was no answer. The + deep roar of the storm on the other side of the frail wooden + walls thundered continuously, and the groan of the straining + planks grated upon her ear as she listened intently for one + or more word from him. Was she then alone with him, dying? + Was there no help, nothing that could be at least attempted + for his help? Through the uproar and tumult she caught the + sound of some one stirring in the saloon. She sprang to the + door, and met Captain Scott on the point of opening it. + </p> + <p> + "Come," said she frantic with terror; "he is dead already." + </p> + <p> + The captain bent over the dying man, and with the promptitude + of one to whom time was of the utmost value passed his hand + rapidly over his benumbed and paralyzed body. + </p> + <p> + "No, not dead," he exclaimed; "but he's sinking fast, and + there's only one remedy. You can leave him to die, or you can + save him, Mrs. Chantrey. There is no one else to nurse him, + and every moment is precious to me. Here's a brandy-flask. + Give him some at once; force a few drops through his teeth, + and watch the effect it has upon him. As he swallows it give + him a little more every few minutes. Watch him carefully; it + will be life or death with him. If I can get down again I'll + come in to see you, but I am badly wanted on deck this + moment. There's enough there, but not too much, remember. Get + him warm, if possible. God bless you, Mrs. Chantrey." + </p> + <p> + He had been busily heaping rugs and blankets upon his + friend's insensible form; and now, with a hearty grasp of the + hand, and an earnest glance into her face, he hurried away, + leaving Sophy alone once more. + </p> + <p> + A shudder of terror ran through her, and she called to him + not to leave her; but he did not hear. She stood in the + middle of the cabin, looking around as if for help, but there + was none. The craving, which had been starved within her by + the forced abstinence of the last few weeks, awoke again with + insufferable fierceness. She was cold herself, chilled to the + very heart; her misery of body and soul were extreme. The dim + light and the ceaseless roar of the storm oppressed her. The + very scent of the brandy seemed to intoxicate her, and steal + away her resolution. If she took but a very little of it, she + reasoned with herself, she would be better fitted for the + long, exhausting task of watching her husband. How would she + have strength to stand over him through the cold, dark hours + of the night, feeble and worn out as she already felt + herself? For his sake, then, she must taste it; she would + take but a very little. The captain had said there was not + more than enough; but surely he would give her more, to save + her husband's life. Only a little, just to stay the + intolerable craving. + </p> + <p> + Sophy poured out a small, portion into the little horn + belonging to the flask. The strong spirituous scent excited + her. How warm, and strong, and useful it would make her to + her husband in his extremity! Yet still she hesitated. + Suppose she could not resist the temptation to take more, and + yet more, until she lost her consciousness, and left him to + perish with cold and faintness? She knew how often she had + resolved to take but a taste, enough to drive away the + painful dejection of the passing hour; and how fatally her + resolution had failed her, when once she had yielded. If she + should fail now, if the temptation conquered her, there was + no shadow of a hope for him. When she came to her senses + again he would be dead. + </p> + <p> + Why did not somebody come to her help? Where was Ann Holland, + that she should be away just at the very moment when her + presence was most desirable and most necessary? How could + Captain Scott think of trusting her with poison? How could + she do battle with so close and subtle a tempter? So long a + battle, too; though all the dreary hours of the storm! Only a + little while ago she had made a solemn promise never to fall + into this sin, never to enter into temptation. But she had + been thrust into temptation unawares, in an instant, with no + one to help her, and no time to gather strength for + resistance. Even David himself could not blame her if she + broke her promise. It should be only a taste; it could not be + more than that, for the flask was not full; and now she came + to think of it she could not get on deck to ask the captain + for more, because the hatches were closed. That would save + her from taking too much. She would keep the thought before + her that every drop she swallowed was taken from her dying + husband, for whom there was barely enough. She could only + taste it, and she did it for his sake, not her own. + </p> + <p> + She lifted the little horn to her lips; but before tasting + the stimulant, she glanced round, as she had often done + before, to see if any one was looking at her; a stealthy + cunning movement, born of the sense of shame she had never + quite lost. Every nerve was quivering with excitement, and + her heart was beating quickly. But her glance fell upon her + husband's face turned toward her, yet with no watchful, + reproachful eyes fastened upon her. The eyelids half closed; + the pallid, hollow cheeks; the head fallen back upon the + pillow, looked like death. Was he then gone from her already? + Had she suffered his flickering life to die out altogether, + while she had been dallying with temptation? With a wild and + very bitter cry Sophy Chantrey sprang to his side, and forced + a few drops of the eau-de-vie between his clenched teeth. + Again and again, patiently, she repeated her efforts, + watching eagerly for the least sign of returning animation. + Every thought of herself was gone now; she became absorbed + between alternate hope and dread. He was alive still; slowly + the death-like pallor was passing away, faint tokens of + returning circulation tingled through his benumbed veins. The + beating of his heart was stronger, and his hands seemed less + icily cold. But so slowly, and with so many intermissions, + did the change creep on, that she did not dare to assure + herself that he was reviving. Now and then the scent made her + feel sick with terror; for she knew that his life depended + upon her unceasing attention, and the tempter was still + beside her, though thrust back for the time by her + newly-awakened will. "I will not let him die!" she cried to + herself; yet she was inwardly fearful of failing in her + resolution, and leaving him to die. Would the daylight never + come? Would the storm never cease? + </p> + <p> + It was raging more wildly than ever; and Captain Scott found + it impossible to go below, even though his friend was + probably dying. Sophy was left absolutely alone. It seemed to + her like an eternity, as she knelt beside her husband, + desperately, fighting against sin, and intently watching for + some sure sign of life in him. He was not dead, that was + almost all she knew. The night was dark still, and very + lonely. There was no one who saw her, none to care for her; + and her misery was very great. + </p> + <p> + Was there none who cared? A still small voice in her own + soul, long unheard, but speaking clearly through the din of + the storm around and within her, asked, "Does not Christ + care? He who came to seek and to save that which was lost? He + whom God sent into the world to be the Captain of salvation, + and to suffer being tempted, that He might be able to succor + all those who are tempted?" For a moment she listened + breathlessly as if some new thing had been said to her. + Christ really cared for her; really knew her extremity in + this dire temptation; was ready with His help, if she would + but have it. Could it be true? If He were beside her, + witnessing her temptation and her struggling, seeing and + entering into all the bitterness of the passing hours, why! + then such a presence and such a sympathy were a thousand + times greater and better than if all the world beside had + been by to cheer her. Why had she never realized this before? + He knew; God knew; she was not alone, because the Father + Himself was with her. + </p> + <p> + She had no time to pray consciously, in so many words of set + speech; but her whole heart was full of prayer and hope. The + terror of temptation was gone; nay, for the time, the + temptation itself was gone, for she was lifted up far above + it. She could use the powerful remedy on which her husband's + life depended with no danger to herself. Her thoughts ran + busily forward into a blissful future. How happy they would + all be again! How diligently she would guard herself! Her + life henceforth should be spent as under the eye of God. + </p> + <p> + At last the morning dawned, and a gray light stole even + through the darkened portholes—a faint light, but + sufficient for her to see her husband's face more clearly. + His heart beat under her hand with more vigor, and the color + had come back to his lips. She could see now how every drop + he swallowed brought, a more healthy hue to his face. He had + attempted to speak more than once, but she laid her hand on + his mouth to enforce silence until his strength was more + equal to the effort. At last he whispered earnestly that she + could not refuse to listen. + </p> + <p> + "Sophy," he said, "is it safe for you?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," she answered; "God has made it safe for me." + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <h2> + <a name="chapter18">CHAPTER XVIII.</a> + </h2> + <h3> + SAVED + </h3> + <p> + The gale off the Cape of Good Hope was weathered at last, and + the vessel sailed into smoother seas. The bitterness of the + cold was over, and only fresh invigorating breezes swept + across the water. Nothing could have been more helpful toward + Mr. Chantrey's recovery, except his new freedom from sorrow. + His trouble had passed away like the storm. He could not but + trust that the same strength which had been given to his wife + in her hour of fiercest temptation would be still granted to + her in ordinary trials, from which he could not always shield + her. Sophy herself was full of hope. She felt her will, so + long enslaved, regaining its former freedom, and her brain + recovering its old clearness. The pleasures and duties of + life had once more a charm for her. It was as though some + madness and delusion had passed away, and she was once more + in her right mind. + </p> + <p> + The voyage between Australia and New Zealand, taken in a + crowded and comfortless steamer, was a severe testing time + for her. It lasted for several days, and she could not be + kept from the influence of the drinking customs of those on + board. But she never quitted the side either of her husband + or Ann Holland. In New Zealand, where no one knew the story + of her past life, except Mr. Warden, it was more easy to face + the future, and to carry out the reformation begun in her. + They were poor, far poorer than she had ever expected to be, + and she had harder work than she had been accustomed to do; + but such exertions were beneficial to her. Ann Holland, as a + matter of course, lived with them in their little home, from + which Mr. Chantrey was often absent while visiting the + distant portions of his large parish, which extended over + many miles. But Ann was not left to do all the drudgery of + the household unaided. Sophy Chantrey would take her share in + her every duty, and seldom sat down to sew or write unless + Ann was ready to rest also. The old want of something to do + could never revisit her; the old sense of loneliness could + not come back. There was her boy to teach, and her simple, + homely neighbors to associate with. The customs and + conventionalities of English life had no force here, and she + was free to act as she pleased. As the years passed by, David + Chantrey lost forever a secret lurking dread lest his wife's + sin should be only biding its time. He could go away in + peace, and return home gladly, having almost forgotten the + reason of his exchanging the pleasant rectory of Upton for + the hard work of a colonial living. + </p> + <p> + From time to time letters reached them from Mrs. Bolton, + complaining bitterly of the changes introduced by the new + rector, whose customs and opinions constantly clashed with + her own. She found herself put on one side, and quietly + neglected in all questions concerning the parish; while her + influence gradually died away. Again and again she urged her + nephew to return to England, promising that she would make + him her heir, and procure for him a living as valuable as the + one he had resigned. She could not understand that to a man + like David Chantrey the calm happy consciousness of days well + spent, and the grateful remembrance of a terrible sorrow + having been removed, were better than anything earth could + give. The old pride he had once felt in his social position + and personal popularity could never lift up its crest again. + He had gone down to the Valley of Humiliation, and there, to + his surprise, he found "that the air was pleasant, and that + here a man shall be free from the noise and hurryings of this + life, and shall not be let and hindered in his contemplation, + as in other places he is apt to be." His laborious simple + life suited him, and no entreaties or promises of Mrs. Bolton + could recall him to England. + </p> + <p> + Eight tranquil years had passed by when Sophy Chantrey + detected in her husband a degree of preoccupation and + reticence that had long been unusual to him. For a few days + he kept the secret; but at last, just as she began to feel + she could bear his reserve no longer he spoke out. + </p> + <p> + "Sophy," he said, "I have had some letters from England." + </p> + <p> + "From Aunt Bolton?" she asked, with a faint undertone of + vexation in her voice, for Mrs. Bolton's letters always + revived bitter memories in her mind. + </p> + <p> + "No," he answered, holding out to her a large bulky packet; + "they are from the bishop—our English bishop, you + know—just a few lines; and from the Upton people. It + seems that the living is about to be vacant again, for + Seymour has had a very good one presented to him in the + north; and the parishioners have petitioned the bishop, and + petitioned me to accept the charge again. See, here are + hundreds of signatures, and the churchwardens tell me every + man and woman in the parish would have signed if there had + been room. The bishop speaks very kindly about it, too, and + they want my answer by the mail going out next week." + </p> + <p> + "And what will you say?" asked Sophy breathlessly. + </p> + <p> + "It is for you to say," he answered; "you must decide. Could + you go back happily, Sophy? As for me, I never loved, or + shall love, any place like Upton. I dream of it often. Yet I + could not return to it at any great cost to you, be sure of + that. You must answer the question. We have been very happy + together here, all of us; and you and I have been truer + Christians than perhaps we could ever have been if we had + stayed at home. If you decide to settle here, I for one will + never regret it." + </p> + <p> + "Would it be safe for me to go back?" she faltered. + </p> + <p> + "As safe for you as for me," he answered emphatically; "do + not be afraid of that. A sin conquered and uprooted, as yours + has been, is less likely to overcome us than some new + temptation. I have no fear of that." + </p> + <p> + For the next few days Sophy Chantrey went through her daily + work as in a dream. There were many things to weigh and + consider, and her husband left her to herself, acting as if + he had dismissed the subject altogether from his mind. For + herself she shrank from returning among the people who had + known her in her worst days, and whose curious suspicious + eyes would be always watching her, and bringing to her mind + sad recollections. She knew well that all her life long there + would be the memory of her sin kept alive in the hearts of + her husband's parishioners if he went back as rector of + Upton. Yet she could not resolve to banish him from the place + he loved so well, and the people who were so eager to have + him with them again as their pastor. There was nothing to be + dreaded on account of his health, which was fully + reestablished. There was her boy, too, who was growing old + enough to require better teaching than they could secure for + him in the colony. Ann Holland would be overjoyed to think of + seeing Upton again, and to return to her old friends and + townsfolk. No; they must not be doomed to continual exile for + her sake. She must take up the cross that lay before her, + from which she had so long escaped, and be willing to bear + the penalty of her transgressions, learning that no sins, + though forgiven, can be blotted out as far as their + consequences are concerned—can never be, through + endless years, as though they had never been. + </p> + <p> + "We must go home to Upton," she said to her husband the + evening before the mail left for England. "I have considered + everything, and we must go." + </p> + <p> + "Willingly, Sophy? Gladly?" he asked, looking keenly into her + face, so changed from when he had seen it first. What lines + there were upon it which ought not to have been there so + early, he knew well. How different it was from the fair fresh + face of his young wife when they first went home to Upton + Rectory. Yet he loved her better now than then. + </p> + <p> + "Willingly, though not gladly yet," she answered; "but do not + argue with me. Do not try to persuade me against my own + decision. You all came out for my sake, and I am bent upon + returning for yours. In time I shall be as glad that I + returned as you are that you came out, though I am not glad + now. I shall be a standing lesson to the people of Upton." + </p> + <p> + "But I do not wish my wife to be a lesson," he said fondly. + Yet he could not urge her to alter her decision. The old home + and the old church, which he had diligently tried to forget, + thrust themselves as freshly and imperiously upon his memory + as if he had left them but yesterday. He had not known how + great his sacrifice had been when he had given them up in his + misery. Ann Holland and his boy shared his delight, and + before they sailed for home Sophy herself found that she + could take very real pleasure in their new prospects. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Bolton did not live to welcome them back to Upton. The + last few years had been years of vexation and loneliness to + her, and there had been no one to care for her and to help + her to bear her troubles. She had been ailing for some time, + and the trying changes of the spring hastened her death + before her favorite nephew could reach England. The hired + nurses who attended her through her last illness heard her + often muttering to herself, as if her enfeebled brain was + possessed by one idea, "If any will come after Me, let him + deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me." + The words haunted her, and once she said, in an awed voice + and with a look of pain, "He that taketh not up his cross and + followeth after Me, is not worthy of Me." "Not worthy of me!" + she repeated, mournfully, "not worthy of me!" + </p> + <p> + The rector of Upton and his wife have dwelt among their own + people again for some years. Though the story is still + sometimes told of Mrs. Chantrey's sin, the life she leads + among them is a better lesson than perhaps it could have been + had she never fallen. They see in her one who has not merely + been tempted, but who has conquered and escaped from the + tyranny of a vice shamefully common among us. There is hope + for the feeblest and the most degraded when they hear of her, + or when they learn the story from her own lips. For if by the + sorrowful confession she can help any one, she does not + shrink from making it, with tears often, but with a profound + thankfulness for the deliverance wrought out for her by those + who made themselves "fellow-workers with God." + </p> + <p> + Ann Holland found her shop and pleasant kitchen transformed + into a fashionable draper's establishment, with plate glass + windows down to the pavement. But she did not need a home. + David and Sophy Chantrey would not have parted from her if + the old house had not been gone. A few of her old-fashioned + goods she managed to gather together again, to furnish her + own room at the rectory, and among them was the screen + containing the newspaper records of events at Upton. One long + column gives a high-flown description of the rector's return + to his old parish, and Ann feels a glow of pleasant pride at + seeing her own name there in print. + </p> + <hr> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> + <p> + + </p> +<BR> +<BR> +<BR> +<BR> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Brought Home, by Hesba Stretton + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BROUGHT HOME *** + +***** This file should be named 7358-h.htm or 7358-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/7/3/5/7358/ + +Produced by David Garcia, Tiffany Vergon, Juliet Sutherland, +Charles Franks, and the Online Distributed Proofreaders Team + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at + www.gutenberg.org/license. + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at 809 +North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email +contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the +Foundation's web site and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + + +</pre> + +</BODY> +</HTML> |