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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's
+Court, Part 1., by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Part 1.
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: July 6, 2004 [EBook #7242]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CONNECTICUT YANKEE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+          A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR'S COURT
+
+                             by
+
+                         MARK TWAIN
+                     (Samuel L. Clemens)
+
+                           Part 1.
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE
+
+The ungentle laws and customs touched upon in this tale are
+historical, and the episodes which are used to illustrate them
+are also historical.  It is not pretended that these laws and
+customs existed in England in the sixth century; no, it is only
+pretended that inasmuch as they existed in the English and other
+civilizations of far later times, it is safe to consider that it is
+no libel upon the sixth century to suppose them to have been in
+practice in that day also.  One is quite justified in inferring
+that whatever one of these laws or customs was lacking in that
+remote time, its place was competently filled by a worse one.
+
+The question as to whether there is such a thing as divine right
+of kings is not settled in this book.  It was found too difficult.
+That the executive head of a nation should be a person of lofty
+character and extraordinary ability, was manifest and indisputable;
+that none but the Deity could select that head unerringly, was
+also manifest and indisputable; that the Deity ought to make that
+selection, then, was likewise manifest and indisputable; consequently,
+that He does make it, as claimed, was an unavoidable deduction.
+I mean, until the author of this book encountered the Pompadour,
+and Lady Castlemaine, and some other executive heads of that kind;
+these were found so difficult to work into the scheme, that it
+was judged better to take the other tack in this book (which
+must be issued this fall), and then go into training and settle
+the question in another book.  It is, of course, a thing which
+ought to be settled, and I am not going to have anything particular
+to do next winter anyway.
+
+MARK TWAIN
+
+HARTFORD, July 21, 1889
+
+
+
+
+
+A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR'S COURT
+
+
+
+
+A WORD OF EXPLANATION
+
+It was in Warwick Castle that I came across the curious stranger
+whom I am going to talk about.  He attracted me by three things:
+his candid simplicity, his marvelous familiarity with ancient armor,
+and the restfulness of his company--for he did all the talking.
+We fell together, as modest people will, in the tail of the herd
+that was being shown through, and he at once began to say things
+which interested me.  As he talked along, softly, pleasantly,
+flowingly, he seemed to drift away imperceptibly out of this world
+and time, and into some remote era and old forgotten country;
+and so he gradually wove such a spell about me that I seemed
+to move among the specters and shadows and dust and mold of a gray
+antiquity, holding speech with a relic of it!  Exactly as I would
+speak of my nearest personal friends or enemies, or my most familiar
+neighbors, he spoke of Sir Bedivere, Sir Bors de Ganis, Sir Launcelot
+of the Lake, Sir Galahad, and all the other great names of the
+Table Round--and how old, old, unspeakably old and faded and dry
+and musty and ancient he came to look as he went on!  Presently
+he turned to me and said, just as one might speak of the weather,
+or any other common matter--
+
+"You know about transmigration of souls; do you know about
+transposition of epochs--and bodies?"
+
+I said I had not heard of it.  He was so little interested--just
+as when people speak of the weather--that he did not notice
+whether I made him any answer or not. There was half a moment
+of silence, immediately interrupted by the droning voice of the
+salaried cicerone:
+
+"Ancient hauberk, date of the sixth century, time of King Arthur
+and the Round Table; said to have belonged to the knight Sir Sagramor
+le Desirous; observe the round hole through the chain-mail in
+the left breast; can't be accounted for; supposed to have been
+done with a bullet since invention of firearms--perhaps maliciously
+by Cromwell's soldiers."
+
+My acquaintance smiled--not a modern smile, but one that must
+have gone out of general use many, many centuries ago--and muttered
+apparently to himself:
+
+"Wit ye well, _I saw it done_."  Then, after a pause, added:
+"I did it myself."
+
+By the time I had recovered from the electric surprise of this
+remark, he was gone.
+
+All that evening I sat by my fire at the Warwick Arms, steeped
+in a dream of the olden time, while the rain beat upon the windows,
+and the wind roared about the eaves and corners.  From time to
+time I dipped into old Sir Thomas Malory's enchanting book, and
+fed at its rich feast of prodigies and adventures, breathed in
+the fragrance of its obsolete names, and dreamed again.  Midnight
+being come at length, I read another tale, for a nightcap--this
+which here follows, to wit:
+
+HOW SIR LAUNCELOT SLEW TWO GIANTS, AND MADE A CASTLE FREE
+
+   Anon withal came there upon him two great giants,
+   well armed, all save the heads, with two horrible
+   clubs in their hands.  Sir Launcelot put his shield
+   afore him, and put the stroke away of the one
+   giant, and with his sword he clave his head asunder.
+   When his fellow saw that, he ran away as he were
+   wood [*demented], for fear of the horrible strokes,
+   and Sir Launcelot after him with all his might,
+   and smote him on the shoulder, and clave him to
+   the middle.  Then Sir Launcelot went into the hall,
+   and there came afore him three score ladies and
+   damsels, and all kneeled unto him, and thanked
+   God and him of their deliverance.  For, sir, said
+   they, the most part of us have been here this
+   seven year their prisoners, and we have worked all
+   manner of silk works for our meat, and we are all
+   great gentle-women born, and blessed be the time,
+   knight, that ever thou wert born; for thou hast
+   done the most worship that ever did knight in the
+   world, that will we bear record, and we all pray
+   you to tell us your name, that we may tell our
+   friends who delivered us out of prison.  Fair
+   damsels, he said, my name is Sir Launcelot du
+   Lake.  And so he departed from them and betaught
+   them unto God.  And then he mounted upon his
+   horse, and rode into many strange and wild
+   countries, and through many waters and valleys,
+   and evil was he lodged.  And at the last by
+   fortune him happened against a night to come to
+   a fair courtilage, and therein he found an old
+   gentle-woman that lodged him with a good-will,
+   and there he had good cheer for him and his horse.
+   And when time was, his host brought him into a
+   fair garret over the gate to his bed. There
+   Sir Launcelot unarmed him, and set his harness
+   by him, and went to bed, and anon he fell on
+   sleep. So, soon after there came one on
+   horseback, and knocked at the gate in great
+   haste.  And when Sir Launcelot heard this he rose
+   up, and looked out at the window, and saw by the
+   moonlight three knights come riding after that
+   one man, and all three lashed on him at once
+   with swords, and that one knight turned on them
+   knightly again and defended him. Truly, said
+   Sir Launcelot, yonder one knight shall I help,
+   for it were shame for me to see three knights
+   on one, and if he be slain I am partner of his
+   death.  And therewith he took his harness and
+   went out at a window by a sheet down to the four
+   knights, and then Sir Launcelot said on high,
+   Turn you knights unto me, and leave your
+   fighting with that knight. And then they all
+   three left Sir Kay, and turned unto Sir Launcelot,
+   and there began great battle, for they alight
+   all three, and strake many strokes at Sir
+   Launcelot, and assailed him on every side. Then
+   Sir Kay dressed him for to have holpen Sir
+   Launcelot.  Nay, sir, said he, I will none of
+   your help, therefore as ye will have my help
+   let me alone with them.  Sir Kay for the pleasure
+   of the knight suffered him for to do his will,
+   and so stood aside. And then anon within six
+   strokes Sir Launcelot had stricken them to the earth.
+
+   And then they all three cried, Sir Knight, we
+   yield us unto you as man of might matchless.  As
+   to that, said Sir Launcelot, I will not take
+   your yielding unto me, but so that ye yield
+   you unto Sir Kay the seneschal, on that covenant
+   I will save your lives and else not.  Fair knight,
+   said they, that were we loath to do; for as for
+   Sir Kay we chased him hither, and had overcome
+   him had ye not been; therefore, to yield us unto
+   him it were no reason.  Well, as to that, said
+   Sir Launcelot, advise you well, for ye may
+   choose whether ye will die or live, for an ye be
+   yielden, it shall be unto Sir Kay.  Fair knight,
+   then they said, in saving our lives we will do
+   as thou commandest us.  Then shall ye, said Sir
+   Launcelot, on Whitsunday next coming go unto the
+   court of King Arthur, and there shall ye yield
+   you unto Queen Guenever, and put you all three
+   in her grace and mercy, and say that Sir Kay
+   sent you thither to be her prisoners.  On the morn
+   Sir Launcelot arose early, and left Sir Kay
+   sleeping; and Sir Launcelot took Sir Kay's armor
+   and his shield and armed him, and so he went to
+   the stable and took his horse, and took his leave
+   of his host, and so he departed.  Then soon after
+   arose Sir Kay and missed Sir Launcelot; and
+   then he espied that he had his armor and his
+   horse. Now by my faith I know well that he will
+   grieve some of the court of King Arthur; for on
+   him knights will be bold, and deem that it is I,
+   and that will beguile them; and because of his
+   armor and shield I am sure I shall ride in peace.
+   And then soon after departed Sir Kay, and
+   thanked his host.
+
+
+As I laid the book down there was a knock at the door, and my
+stranger came in.  I gave him a pipe and a chair, and made him
+welcome.  I also comforted him with a hot Scotch whisky; gave him
+another one; then still another--hoping always for his story.
+After a fourth persuader, he drifted into it himself, in a quite
+simple and natural way:
+
+
+
+THE STRANGER'S HISTORY
+
+I am an American.  I was born and reared in Hartford, in the State
+of Connecticut--anyway, just over the river, in the country.  So
+I am a Yankee of the Yankees--and practical; yes, and nearly
+barren of sentiment, I suppose--or poetry, in other words.  My
+father was a blacksmith, my uncle was a horse doctor, and I was
+both, along at first.  Then I went over to the great arms factory
+and learned my real trade; learned all there was to it; learned
+to make everything: guns, revolvers, cannon, boilers, engines, all
+sorts of labor-saving machinery.  Why, I could make anything
+a body wanted--anything in the world, it didn't make any difference
+what; and if there wasn't any quick new-fangled way to make a thing,
+I could invent one--and do it as easy as rolling off a log.  I became
+head superintendent; had a couple of thousand men under me.
+
+Well, a man like that is a man that is full of fight--that goes
+without saying.  With a couple of thousand rough men under one,
+one has plenty of that sort of amusement.  I had, anyway.  At last
+I met my match, and I got my dose.  It was during a misunderstanding
+conducted with crowbars with a fellow we used to call Hercules.
+He laid me out with a crusher alongside the head that made everything
+crack, and seemed to spring every joint in my skull and made it
+overlap its neighbor.  Then the world went out in darkness, and
+I didn't feel anything more, and didn't know anything at all
+--at least for a while.
+
+When I came to again, I was sitting under an oak tree, on the
+grass, with a whole beautiful and broad country landscape all
+to myself--nearly.  Not entirely; for there was a fellow on a horse,
+looking down at me--a fellow fresh out of a picture-book.  He was
+in old-time iron armor from head to heel, with a helmet on his
+head the shape of a nail-keg with slits in it; and he had a shield,
+and a sword, and a prodigious spear; and his horse had armor on,
+too, and a steel horn projecting from his forehead, and gorgeous
+red and green silk trappings that hung down all around him like
+a bedquilt, nearly to the ground.
+
+"Fair sir, will ye just?" said this fellow.
+
+"Will I which?"
+
+"Will ye try a passage of arms for land or lady or for--"
+
+"What are you giving me?" I said.  "Get along back to your circus,
+or I'll report you."
+
+Now what does this man do but fall back a couple of hundred yards
+and then come rushing at me as hard as he could tear, with his
+nail-keg bent down nearly to his horse's neck and his long spear
+pointed straight ahead.  I saw he meant business, so I was up
+the tree when he arrived.
+
+He allowed that I was his property, the captive of his spear.
+There was argument on his side--and the bulk of the advantage
+--so I judged it best to humor him.  We fixed up an agreement
+whereby I was to go with him and he was not to hurt me.  I came
+down, and we started away, I walking by the side of his horse.
+We marched comfortably along, through glades and over brooks which
+I could not remember to have seen before--which puzzled me and
+made me wonder--and yet we did not come to any circus or sign of
+a circus.  So I gave up the idea of a circus, and concluded he was
+from an asylum.  But we never came to an asylum--so I was up
+a stump, as you may say.  I asked him how far we were from Hartford.
+He said he had never heard of the place; which I took to be a lie,
+but allowed it to go at that.  At the end of an hour we saw a
+far-away town sleeping in a valley by a winding river; and beyond
+it on a hill, a vast gray fortress, with towers and turrets,
+the first I had ever seen out of a picture.
+
+"Bridgeport?" said I, pointing.
+
+"Camelot," said he.
+
+
+My stranger had been showing signs of sleepiness.  He caught
+himself nodding, now, and smiled one of those pathetic, obsolete
+smiles of his, and said:
+
+"I find I can't go on; but come with me, I've got it all written
+out, and you can read it if you like."
+
+In his chamber, he said: "First, I kept a journal; then by and by,
+after years, I took the journal and turned it into a book. How
+long ago that was!"
+
+He handed me his manuscript, and pointed out the place where
+I should begin:
+
+"Begin here--I've already told you what goes before."  He was
+steeped in drowsiness by this time.  As I went out at his door
+I heard him murmur sleepily: "Give you good den, fair sir."
+
+I sat down by my fire and examined my treasure.  The first part
+of it--the great bulk of it--was parchment, and yellow with age.
+I scanned a leaf particularly and saw that it was a palimpsest.
+Under the old dim writing of the Yankee historian appeared traces
+of a penmanship which was older and dimmer still--Latin words
+and sentences: fragments from old monkish legends, evidently.
+I turned to the place indicated by my stranger and began to read
+--as follows:
+
+
+
+
+THE TALE OF THE LOST LAND
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+CAMELOT
+
+"Camelot--Camelot," said I to myself.  "I don't seem to remember
+hearing of it before.  Name of the asylum, likely."
+
+It was a soft, reposeful summer landscape, as lovely as a dream,
+and as lonesome as Sunday.  The air was full of the smell of
+flowers, and the buzzing of insects, and the twittering of birds,
+and there were no people, no wagons, there was no stir of life,
+nothing going on.  The road was mainly a winding path with hoof-prints
+in it, and now and then a faint trace of wheels on either side in
+the grass--wheels that apparently had a tire as broad as one's hand.
+
+Presently a fair slip of a girl, about ten years old, with a cataract
+of golden hair streaming down over her shoulders, came along.
+Around her head she wore a hoop of flame-red poppies. It was as
+sweet an outfit as ever I saw, what there was of it.  She walked
+indolently along, with a mind at rest, its peace reflected in her
+innocent face.  The circus man paid no attention to her; didn't
+even seem to see her.  And she--she was no more startled at his
+fantastic make-up than if she was used to his like every day of
+her life.  She was going by as indifferently as she might have gone
+by a couple of cows; but when she happened to notice me, _then_
+there was a change!  Up went her hands, and she was turned to stone;
+her mouth dropped open, her eyes stared wide and timorously, she
+was the picture of astonished curiosity touched with fear.  And
+there she stood gazing, in a sort of stupefied fascination, till
+we turned a corner of the wood and were lost to her view.  That
+she should be startled at me instead of at the other man, was too
+many for me; I couldn't make head or tail of it.  And that she
+should seem to consider me a spectacle, and totally overlook her
+own merits in that respect, was another puzzling thing, and a
+display of magnanimity, too, that was surprising in one so young.
+There was food for thought here.  I moved along as one in a dream.
+
+As we approached the town, signs of life began to appear.  At
+intervals we passed a wretched cabin, with a thatched roof, and
+about it small fields and garden patches in an indifferent state of
+cultivation.  There were people, too; brawny men, with long, coarse,
+uncombed hair that hung down over their faces and made them look
+like animals.  They and the women, as a rule, wore a coarse
+tow-linen robe that came well below the knee, and a rude sort of
+sandal, and many wore an iron collar.  The small boys and girls
+were always naked; but nobody seemed to know it.  All of these
+people stared at me, talked about me, ran into the huts and fetched
+out their families to gape at me; but nobody ever noticed that
+other fellow, except to make him humble salutation and get no
+response for their pains.
+
+In the town were some substantial windowless houses of stone
+scattered among a wilderness of thatched cabins; the streets were
+mere crooked alleys, and unpaved; troops of dogs and nude children
+played in the sun and made life and noise; hogs roamed and rooted
+contentedly about, and one of them lay in a reeking wallow in
+the middle of the main thoroughfare and suckled her family.
+Presently there was a distant blare of military music; it came
+nearer, still nearer, and soon a noble cavalcade wound into view,
+glorious with plumed helmets and flashing mail and flaunting banners
+and rich doublets and horse-cloths and gilded spearheads; and
+through the muck and swine, and naked brats, and joyous dogs, and
+shabby huts, it took its gallant way, and in its wake we followed.
+Followed through one winding alley and then another,--and climbing,
+always climbing--till at last we gained the breezy height where
+the huge castle stood.  There was an exchange of bugle blasts;
+then a parley from the walls, where men-at-arms, in hauberk and
+morion, marched back and forth with halberd at shoulder under
+flapping banners with the rude figure of a dragon displayed upon
+them; and then the great gates were flung open, the drawbridge
+was lowered, and the head of the cavalcade swept forward under
+the frowning arches; and we, following, soon found ourselves in
+a great paved court, with towers and turrets stretching up into
+the blue air on all the four sides; and all about us the dismount
+was going on, and much greeting and ceremony, and running to and
+fro, and a gay display of moving and intermingling colors, and
+an altogether pleasant stir and noise and confusion.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+KING ARTHUR'S COURT
+
+The moment I got a chance I slipped aside privately and touched
+an ancient common looking man on the shoulder and said, in an
+insinuating, confidential way:
+
+"Friend, do me a kindness.  Do you belong to the asylum, or are
+you just on a visit or something like that?"
+
+He looked me over stupidly, and said:
+
+"Marry, fair sir, me seemeth--"
+
+"That will do," I said; "I reckon you are a patient."
+
+I moved away, cogitating, and at the same time keeping an eye
+out for any chance passenger in his right mind that might come
+along and give me some light.  I judged I had found one, presently;
+so I drew him aside and said in his ear:
+
+"If I could see the head keeper a minute--only just a minute--"
+
+"Prithee do not let me."
+
+"Let you _what_?"
+
+"_Hinder_ me, then, if the word please thee better.  Then he went
+on to say he was an under-cook and could not stop to gossip,
+though he would like it another time; for it would comfort his
+very liver to know where I got my clothes.  As he started away he
+pointed and said yonder was one who was idle enough for my purpose,
+and was seeking me besides, no doubt.  This was an airy slim boy
+in shrimp-colored tights that made him look like a forked carrot,
+the rest of his gear was blue silk and dainty laces and ruffles;
+and he had long yellow curls, and wore a plumed pink satin cap
+tilted complacently over his ear.  By his look, he was good-natured;
+by his gait, he was satisfied with himself.  He was pretty enough
+to frame.  He arrived, looked me over with a smiling and impudent
+curiosity; said he had come for me, and informed me that he was a page.
+
+"Go 'long," I said; "you ain't more than a paragraph."
+
+It was pretty severe, but I was nettled.  However, it never phazed
+him; he didn't appear to know he was hurt.  He began to talk and
+laugh, in happy, thoughtless, boyish fashion, as we walked along,
+and made himself old friends with me at once; asked me all sorts
+of questions about myself and about my clothes, but never waited
+for an answer--always chattered straight ahead, as if he didn't
+know he had asked a question and wasn't expecting any reply, until
+at last he happened to mention that he was born in the beginning
+of the year 513.
+
+It made the cold chills creep over me!  I stopped and said,
+a little faintly:
+
+"Maybe I didn't hear you just right.  Say it again--and say it
+slow.  What year was it?"
+
+"513."
+
+"513!  You don't look it!  Come, my boy, I am a stranger and
+friendless; be honest and honorable with me.  Are you in your
+right mind?"
+
+He said he was.
+
+"Are these other people in their right minds?"
+
+He said they were.
+
+"And this isn't an asylum?  I mean, it isn't a place where they
+cure crazy people?"
+
+He said it wasn't.
+
+"Well, then," I said, "either I am a lunatic, or something just
+as awful has happened.  Now tell me, honest and true, where am I?"
+
+"IN KING ARTHUR'S COURT."
+
+I waited a minute, to let that idea shudder its way home,
+and then said:
+
+"And according to your notions, what year is it now?"
+
+"528--nineteenth of June."
+
+I felt a mournful sinking at the heart, and muttered: "I shall
+never see my friends again--never, never again.  They will not
+be born for more than thirteen hundred years yet."
+
+I seemed to believe the boy, I didn't know why.  _Something_ in me
+seemed to believe him--my consciousness, as you may say; but my
+reason didn't.  My reason straightway began to clamor; that was
+natural.  I didn't know how to go about satisfying it, because
+I knew that the testimony of men wouldn't serve--my reason would
+say they were lunatics, and throw out their evidence.  But all
+of a sudden I stumbled on the very thing, just by luck.  I knew
+that the only total eclipse of the sun in the first half of the
+sixth century occurred on the 21st of June, A.D. 528, O.S., and
+began at 3 minutes after 12 noon.  I also knew that no total eclipse
+of the sun was due in what to _me_ was the present year--i.e., 1879.
+So, if I could keep my anxiety and curiosity from eating the heart
+out of me for forty-eight hours, I should then find out for certain
+whether this boy was telling me the truth or not.
+
+Wherefore, being a practical Connecticut man, I now shoved this
+whole problem clear out of my mind till its appointed day and hour
+should come, in order that I might turn all my attention to the
+circumstances of the present moment, and be alert and ready to
+make the most out of them that could be made.  One thing at a time,
+is my motto--and just play that thing for all it is worth, even
+if it's only two pair and a jack.  I made up my mind to two things:
+if it was still the nineteenth century and I was among lunatics
+and couldn't get away, I would presently boss that asylum or know
+the reason why; and if, on the other hand, it was really the sixth
+century, all right, I didn't want any softer thing: I would boss
+the whole country inside of three months; for I judged I would
+have the start of the best-educated man in the kingdom by a matter
+of thirteen hundred years and upward.  I'm not a man to waste
+time after my mind's made up and there's work on hand; so I said
+to the page:
+
+"Now, Clarence, my boy--if that might happen to be your name
+--I'll get you to post me up a little if you don't mind.  What is
+the name of that apparition that brought me here?"
+
+"My master and thine?  That is the good knight and great lord
+Sir Kay the Seneschal, foster brother to our liege the king."
+
+"Very good; go on, tell me everything."
+
+He made a long story of it; but the part that had immediate interest
+for me was this: He said I was Sir Kay's prisoner, and that
+in the due course of custom I would be flung into a dungeon and
+left there on scant commons until my friends ransomed me--unless
+I chanced to rot, first.  I saw that the last chance had the best
+show, but I didn't waste any bother about that; time was too
+precious.  The page said, further, that dinner was about ended
+in the great hall by this time, and that as soon as the sociability
+and the heavy drinking should begin, Sir Kay would have me in and
+exhibit me before King Arthur and his illustrious knights seated at
+the Table Round, and would brag about his exploit in capturing
+me, and would probably exaggerate the facts a little, but it
+wouldn't be good form for me to correct him, and not over safe,
+either; and when I was done being exhibited, then ho for the
+dungeon; but he, Clarence, would find a way to come and see me every
+now and then, and cheer me up, and help me get word to my friends.
+
+Get word to my friends!  I thanked him; I couldn't do less; and
+about this time a lackey came to say I was wanted; so Clarence
+led me in and took me off to one side and sat down by me.
+
+Well, it was a curious kind of spectacle, and interesting. It was
+an immense place, and rather naked--yes, and full of loud contrasts.
+It was very, very lofty; so lofty that the banners depending from
+the arched beams and girders away up there floated in a sort of
+twilight; there was a stone-railed gallery at each end, high up,
+with musicians in the one, and women, clothed in stunning colors,
+in the other.  The floor was of big stone flags laid in black and
+white squares, rather battered by age and use, and needing repair.
+As to ornament, there wasn't any, strictly speaking; though on
+the walls hung some huge tapestries which were probably taxed
+as works of art; battle-pieces, they were, with horses shaped like
+those which children cut out of paper or create in gingerbread;
+with men on them in scale armor whose scales are represented by
+round holes--so that the man's coat looks as if it had been done
+with a biscuit-punch.  There was a fireplace big enough to camp in;
+and its projecting sides and hood, of carved and pillared stonework,
+had the look of a cathedral door.  Along the walls stood men-at-arms,
+in breastplate and morion, with halberds for their only weapon
+--rigid as statues; and that is what they looked like.
+
+In the middle of this groined and vaulted public square was an oaken
+table which they called the Table Round.  It was as large as
+a circus ring; and around it sat a great company of men dressed
+in such various and splendid colors that it hurt one's eyes to look
+at them.  They wore their plumed hats, right along, except that
+whenever one addressed himself directly to the king, he lifted
+his hat a trifle just as he was beginning his remark.
+
+Mainly they were drinking--from entire ox horns; but a few were
+still munching bread or gnawing beef bones.  There was about
+an average of two dogs to one man; and these sat in expectant
+attitudes till a spent bone was flung to them, and then they went
+for it by brigades and divisions, with a rush, and there ensued
+a fight which filled the prospect with a tumultuous chaos of
+plunging heads and bodies and flashing tails, and the storm of
+howlings and barkings deafened all speech for the time; but that
+was no matter, for the dog-fight was always a bigger interest
+anyway; the men rose, sometimes, to observe it the better and bet
+on it, and the ladies and the musicians stretched themselves out
+over their balusters with the same object; and all broke into
+delighted ejaculations from time to time. In the end, the winning
+dog stretched himself out comfortably with his bone between his
+paws, and proceeded to growl over it, and gnaw it, and grease
+the floor with it, just as fifty others were already doing; and the
+rest of the court resumed their previous industries and entertainments.
+
+As a rule, the speech and behavior of these people were gracious
+and courtly; and I noticed that they were good and serious listeners
+when anybody was telling anything--I mean in a dog-fightless
+interval.  And plainly, too, they were a childlike and innocent lot;
+telling lies of the stateliest pattern with a most gentle and
+winning naivety, and ready and willing to listen to anybody else's
+lie, and believe it, too.  It was hard to associate them with
+anything cruel or dreadful; and yet they dealt in tales of blood
+and suffering with a guileless relish that made me almost forget
+to shudder.
+
+I was not the only prisoner present.  There were twenty or more.
+Poor devils, many of them were maimed, hacked, carved, in a frightful
+way; and their hair, their faces, their clothing, were caked with
+black and stiffened drenchings of blood.  They were suffering
+sharp physical pain, of course; and weariness, and hunger and
+thirst, no doubt; and at least none had given them the comfort
+of a wash, or even the poor charity of a lotion for their wounds;
+yet you never heard them utter a moan or a groan, or saw them show
+any sign of restlessness, or any disposition to complain.  The
+thought was forced upon me: "The rascals--_they_ have served other
+people so in their day; it being their own turn, now, they were
+not expecting any better treatment than this; so their philosophical
+bearing is not an outcome of mental training, intellectual fortitude,
+reasoning; it is mere animal training; they are white Indians."
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+KNIGHTS OF THE TABLE ROUND
+
+Mainly the Round Table talk was monologues--narrative accounts
+of the adventures in which these prisoners were captured and their
+friends and backers killed and stripped of their steeds and armor.
+As a general thing--as far as I could make out--these murderous
+adventures were not forays undertaken to avenge injuries, nor to
+settle old disputes or sudden fallings out; no, as a rule they were
+simply duels between strangers--duels between people who had never
+even been introduced to each other, and between whom existed no
+cause of offense whatever.  Many a time I had seen a couple of boys,
+strangers, meet by chance, and say simultaneously, "I can lick you,"
+and go at it on the spot; but I had always imagined until now that
+that sort of thing belonged to children only, and was a sign and
+mark of childhood; but here were these big boobies sticking to it
+and taking pride in it clear up into full age and beyond.  Yet there
+was something very engaging about these great simple-hearted
+creatures, something attractive and lovable.  There did not seem
+to be brains enough in the entire nursery, so to speak, to bait
+a fish-hook with; but you didn't seem to mind that, after a little,
+because you soon saw that brains were not needed in a society
+like that, and indeed would have marred it, hindered it, spoiled
+its symmetry--perhaps rendered its existence impossible.
+
+There was a fine manliness observable in almost every face; and
+in some a certain loftiness and sweetness that rebuked your
+belittling criticisms and stilled them.  A most noble benignity
+and purity reposed in the countenance of him they called Sir Galahad,
+and likewise in the king's also; and there was majesty and greatness
+in the giant frame and high bearing of Sir Launcelot of the Lake.
+
+There was presently an incident which centered the general interest
+upon this Sir Launcelot.  At a sign from a sort of master of
+ceremonies, six or eight of the prisoners rose and came forward
+in a body and knelt on the floor and lifted up their hands toward
+the ladies' gallery and begged the grace of a word with the queen.
+The most conspicuously situated lady in that massed flower-bed
+of feminine show and finery inclined her head by way of assent,
+and then the spokesman of the prisoners delivered himself and his
+fellows into her hands for free pardon, ransom, captivity, or death,
+as she in her good pleasure might elect; and this, as he said, he
+was doing by command of Sir Kay the Seneschal, whose prisoners
+they were, he having vanquished them by his single might and
+prowess in sturdy conflict in the field.
+
+Surprise and astonishment flashed from face to face all over
+the house; the queen's gratified smile faded out at the name of
+Sir Kay, and she looked disappointed; and the page whispered in
+my ear with an accent and manner expressive of extravagant derision--
+
+"Sir _Kay_, forsooth!  Oh, call me pet names, dearest, call me
+a marine!  In twice a thousand years shall the unholy invention
+of man labor at odds to beget the fellow to this majestic lie!"
+
+Every eye was fastened with severe inquiry upon Sir Kay. But he
+was equal to the occasion.  He got up and played his hand like
+a major--and took every trick.  He said he would state the case
+exactly according to the facts; he would tell the simple
+straightforward tale, without comment of his own; "and then,"
+said he, "if ye find glory and honor due, ye will give it unto him
+who is the mightiest man of his hands that ever bare shield or
+strake with sword in the ranks of Christian battle--even him that
+sitteth there!" and he pointed to Sir Launcelot.  Ah, he fetched
+them; it was a rattling good stroke.  Then he went on and told
+how Sir Launcelot, seeking adventures, some brief time gone by,
+killed seven giants at one sweep of his sword, and set a hundred
+and forty-two captive maidens free; and then went further, still
+seeking adventures, and found him (Sir Kay) fighting a desperate
+fight against nine foreign knights, and straightway took the battle
+solely into his own hands, and conquered the nine; and that night
+Sir Launcelot rose quietly, and dressed him in Sir Kay's armor and
+took Sir Kay's horse and gat him away into distant lands, and
+vanquished sixteen knights in one pitched battle and thirty-four
+in another; and all these and the former nine he made to swear
+that about Whitsuntide they would ride to Arthur's court and yield
+them to Queen Guenever's hands as captives of Sir Kay the Seneschal,
+spoil of his knightly prowess; and now here were these half dozen,
+and the rest would be along as soon as they might be healed of
+their desperate wounds.
+
+Well, it was touching to see the queen blush and smile, and look
+embarrassed and happy, and fling furtive glances at Sir Launcelot
+that would have got him shot in Arkansas, to a dead certainty.
+
+Everybody praised the valor and magnanimity of Sir Launcelot; and
+as for me, I was perfectly amazed, that one man, all by himself,
+should have been able to beat down and capture such battalions
+of practiced fighters.  I said as much to Clarence; but this mocking
+featherhead only said:
+
+"An Sir Kay had had time to get another skin of sour wine into him,
+ye had seen the accompt doubled."
+
+I looked at the boy in sorrow; and as I looked I saw the cloud of
+a deep despondency settle upon his countenance.  I followed the
+direction of his eye, and saw that a very old and white-bearded
+man, clothed in a flowing black gown, had risen and was standing
+at the table upon unsteady legs, and feebly swaying his ancient
+head and surveying the company with his watery and wandering eye.
+The same suffering look that was in the page's face was observable
+in all the faces around--the look of dumb creatures who know that
+they must endure and make no moan.
+
+"Marry, we shall have it again," sighed the boy; "that same old
+weary tale that he hath told a thousand times in the same words,
+and that he _will_ tell till he dieth, every time he hath gotten his
+barrel full and feeleth his exaggeration-mill a-working.  Would
+God I had died or I saw this day!"
+
+"Who is it?"
+
+"Merlin, the mighty liar and magician, perdition singe him for
+the weariness he worketh with his one tale!  But that men fear
+him for that he hath the storms and the lightnings and all the
+devils that be in hell at his beck and call, they would have dug
+his entrails out these many years ago to get at that tale and
+squelch it.  He telleth it always in the third person, making
+believe he is too modest to glorify himself--maledictions light
+upon him, misfortune be his dole!  Good friend, prithee call me
+for evensong."
+
+The boy nestled himself upon my shoulder and pretended to go
+to sleep.  The old man began his tale; and presently the lad was
+asleep in reality; so also were the dogs, and the court, the lackeys,
+and the files of men-at-arms.  The droning voice droned on; a soft
+snoring arose on all sides and supported it like a deep and subdued
+accompaniment of wind instruments.  Some heads were bowed upon
+folded arms, some lay back with open mouths that issued unconscious
+music; the flies buzzed and bit, unmolested, the rats swarmed
+softly out from a hundred holes, and pattered about, and made
+themselves at home everywhere; and one of them sat up like a
+squirrel on the king's head and held a bit of cheese in its hands
+and nibbled it, and dribbled the crumbs in the king's face with
+naive and impudent irreverence.  It was a tranquil scene, and
+restful to the weary eye and the jaded spirit.
+
+This was the old man's tale.  He said:
+
+"Right so the king and Merlin departed, and went until an hermit
+that was a good man and a great leech.  So the hermit searched
+all his wounds and gave him good salves; so the king was there
+three days, and then were his wounds well amended that he might
+ride and go, and so departed.  And as they rode, Arthur said,
+I have no sword.  No force,* [*Footnote from M.T.: No matter.]
+said Merlin, hereby is a sword that shall be yours and I may.
+So they rode till they came to a lake, the which was a fair water
+and broad, and in the midst of the lake Arthur was ware of an arm
+clothed in white samite, that held a fair sword in that hand.
+Lo, said Merlin, yonder is that sword that I spake of.  With that
+they saw a damsel going upon the lake.  What damsel is that?
+said Arthur.  That is the Lady of the lake, said Merlin; and within
+that lake is a rock, and therein is as fair a place as any on earth,
+and richly beseen, and this damsel will come to you anon, and then
+speak ye fair to her that she will give you that sword.  Anon
+withal came the damsel unto Arthur and saluted him, and he her
+again.  Damsel, said Arthur, what sword is that, that yonder
+the arm holdeth above the water?  I would it were mine, for I have
+no sword.  Sir Arthur King, said the damsel, that sword is mine,
+and if ye will give me a gift when I ask it you, ye shall have it.
+By my faith, said Arthur, I will give you what gift ye will ask.
+Well, said the damsel, go ye into yonder barge and row yourself
+to the sword, and take it and the scabbard with you, and I will ask
+my gift when I see my time.  So Sir Arthur and Merlin alight, and
+tied their horses to two trees, and so they went into the ship,
+and when they came to the sword that the hand held, Sir Arthur
+took it up by the handles, and took it with him.  And the arm
+and the hand went under the water; and so they came unto the land
+and rode forth.  And then Sir Arthur saw a rich pavilion.  What
+signifieth yonder pavilion?  It is the knight's pavilion, said
+Merlin, that ye fought with last, Sir Pellinore, but he is out,
+he is not there; he hath ado with a knight of yours, that hight
+Egglame, and they have fought together, but at the last Egglame
+fled, and else he had been dead, and he hath chased him even
+to Carlion, and we shall meet with him anon in the highway.  That
+is well said, said Arthur, now have I a sword, now will I wage
+battle with him, and be avenged on him.  Sir, ye shall not so,
+said Merlin, for the knight is weary of fighting and chasing, so
+that ye shall have no worship to have ado with him; also, he will
+not lightly be matched of one knight living; and therefore it is my
+counsel, let him pass, for he shall do you good service in short
+time, and his sons, after his days.  Also ye shall see that day
+in short space ye shall be right glad to give him your sister
+to wed.  When I see him, I will do as ye advise me, said Arthur.
+Then Sir Arthur looked on the sword, and liked it passing well.
+Whether liketh you better, said Merlin, the sword or the scabbard?
+Me liketh better the sword, said Arthur.  Ye are more unwise,
+said Merlin, for the scabbard is worth ten of the sword, for while
+ye have the scabbard upon you ye shall never lose no blood, be ye
+never so sore wounded; therefore, keep well the scabbard always
+with you.  So they rode into Carlion, and by the way they met with
+Sir Pellinore; but Merlin had done such a craft that Pellinore saw
+not Arthur, and he passed by without any words.  I marvel, said
+Arthur, that the knight would not speak.  Sir, said Merlin, he saw
+you not; for and he had seen you ye had not lightly departed.  So
+they came unto Carlion, whereof his knights were passing glad.
+And when they heard of his adventures they marveled that he would
+jeopard his person so alone.  But all men of worship said it was
+merry to be under such a chieftain that would put his person in
+adventure as other poor knights did."
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+SIR DINADAN THE HUMORIST
+
+It seemed to me that this quaint lie was most simply and beautifully
+told; but then I had heard it only once, and that makes a difference;
+it was pleasant to the others when it was fresh, no doubt.
+
+Sir Dinadan the Humorist was the first to awake, and he soon roused
+the rest with a practical joke of a sufficiently poor quality.
+He tied some metal mugs to a dog's tail and turned him loose,
+and he tore around and around the place in a frenzy of fright,
+with all the other dogs bellowing after him and battering and
+crashing against everything that came in their way and making
+altogether a chaos of confusion and a most deafening din and
+turmoil; at which every man and woman of the multitude laughed
+till the tears flowed, and some fell out of their chairs and
+wallowed on the floor in ecstasy.  It was just like so many children.
+Sir Dinadan was so proud of his exploit that he could not keep
+from telling over and over again, to weariness, how the immortal
+idea happened to occur to him; and as is the way with humorists
+of his breed, he was still laughing at it after everybody else had
+got through.  He was so set up that he concluded to make a speech
+--of course a humorous speech.  I think I never heard so many old
+played-out jokes strung together in my life.  He was worse than
+the minstrels, worse than the clown in the circus.  It seemed
+peculiarly sad to sit here, thirteen hundred years before I was
+born, and listen again to poor, flat, worm-eaten jokes that had
+given me the dry gripes when I was a boy thirteen hundred years
+afterwards.  It about convinced me that there isn't any such thing
+as a new joke possible.  Everybody laughed at these antiquities
+--but then they always do; I had noticed that, centuries later.
+However, of course the scoffer didn't laugh--I mean the boy.  No,
+he scoffed; there wasn't anything he wouldn't scoff at. He said
+the most of Sir Dinadan's jokes were rotten and the rest were
+petrified.  I said "petrified" was good; as I believed, myself,
+that the only right way to classify the majestic ages of some of
+those jokes was by geologic periods.  But that neat idea hit
+the boy in a blank place, for geology hadn't been invented yet.
+However, I made a note of the remark, and calculated to educate
+the commonwealth up to it if I pulled through.  It is no use
+to throw a good thing away merely because the market isn't ripe yet.
+
+Now Sir Kay arose and began to fire up on his history-mill with me
+for fuel.  It was time for me to feel serious, and I did.  Sir Kay
+told how he had encountered me in a far land of barbarians, who
+all wore the same ridiculous garb that I did--a garb that was a work
+of enchantment, and intended to make the wearer secure from hurt
+by human hands.  However he had nullified the force of the
+enchantment by prayer, and had killed my thirteen knights in
+a three hours' battle, and taken me prisoner, sparing my life
+in order that so strange a curiosity as I was might be exhibited
+to the wonder and admiration of the king and the court.  He spoke
+of me all the time, in the blandest way, as "this prodigious giant,"
+and "this horrible sky-towering monster," and "this tusked and
+taloned man-devouring ogre", and everybody took in all this bosh
+in the naivest way, and never smiled or seemed to notice that
+there was any discrepancy between these watered statistics and me.
+He said that in trying to escape from him I sprang into the top of
+a tree two hundred cubits high at a single bound, but he dislodged
+me with a stone the size of a cow, which "all-to brast" the most
+of my bones, and then swore me to appear at Arthur's court for
+sentence.  He ended by condemning me to die at noon on the 21st;
+and was so little concerned about it that he stopped to yawn before
+he named the date.
+
+I was in a dismal state by this time; indeed, I was hardly enough
+in my right mind to keep the run of a dispute that sprung up as
+to how I had better be killed, the possibility of the killing being
+doubted by some, because of the enchantment in my clothes. And yet
+it was nothing but an ordinary suit of fifteen-dollar slop-shops.
+Still, I was sane enough to notice this detail, to wit: many of
+the terms used in the most matter-of-fact way by this great
+assemblage of the first ladies and gentlemen in the land would
+have made a Comanche blush.  Indelicacy is too mild a term to convey
+the idea.  However, I had read "Tom Jones," and "Roderick Random,"
+and other books of that kind, and knew that the highest and first
+ladies and gentlemen in England had remained little or no cleaner
+in their talk, and in the morals and conduct which such talk
+implies, clear up to a hundred years ago; in fact clear into our
+own nineteenth century--in which century, broadly speaking,
+the earliest samples of the real lady and real gentleman discoverable
+in English history--or in European history, for that matter--may be
+said to have made their appearance.  Suppose Sir Walter, instead
+of putting the conversations into the mouths of his characters,
+had allowed the characters to speak for themselves?  We should
+have had talk from Rebecca and Ivanhoe and the soft lady Rowena
+which would embarrass a tramp in our day.  However, to the
+unconsciously indelicate all things are delicate.  King Arthur's
+people were not aware that they were indecent and I had presence
+of mind enough not to mention it.
+
+They were so troubled about my enchanted clothes that they were
+mightily relieved, at last, when old Merlin swept the difficulty
+away for them with a common-sense hint.  He asked them why they
+were so dull--why didn't it occur to them to strip me.  In half a
+minute I was as naked as a pair of tongs!  And dear, dear, to think
+of it: I was the only embarrassed person there.  Everybody discussed
+me; and did it as unconcernedly as if I had been a cabbage.
+Queen Guenever was as naively interested as the rest, and said
+she had never seen anybody with legs just like mine before.  It was
+the only compliment I got--if it was a compliment.
+
+Finally I was carried off in one direction, and my perilous clothes
+in another.  I was shoved into a dark and narrow cell in a dungeon,
+with some scant remnants for dinner, some moldy straw for a bed,
+and no end of rats for company.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+AN INSPIRATION
+
+I was so tired that even my fears were not able to keep me awake long.
+
+When I next came to myself, I seemed to have been asleep a very
+long time.  My first thought was, "Well, what an astonishing dream
+I've had!  I reckon I've waked only just in time to keep from
+being hanged or drowned or burned or something....  I'll nap again
+till the whistle blows, and then I'll go down to the arms factory
+and have it out with Hercules."
+
+But just then I heard the harsh music of rusty chains and bolts,
+a light flashed in my eyes, and that butterfly, Clarence, stood
+before me!  I gasped with surprise; my breath almost got away from me.
+
+"What!" I said, "you here yet?  Go along with the rest of
+the dream! scatter!"
+
+But he only laughed, in his light-hearted way, and fell to making
+fun of my sorry plight.
+
+"All right," I said resignedly, "let the dream go on; I'm in no hurry."
+
+"Prithee what dream?"
+
+"What dream?  Why, the dream that I am in Arthur's court--a person
+who never existed; and that I am talking to you, who are nothing
+but a work of the imagination."
+
+"Oh, la, indeed! and is it a dream that you're to be burned
+to-morrow?  Ho-ho--answer me that!"
+
+The shock that went through me was distressing.  I now began
+to reason that my situation was in the last degree serious, dream
+or no dream; for I knew by past experience of the lifelike intensity
+of dreams, that to be burned to death, even in a dream, would be
+very far from being a jest, and was a thing to be avoided, by any
+means, fair or foul, that I could contrive.  So I said beseechingly:
+
+"Ah, Clarence, good boy, only friend I've got,--for you _are_ my
+friend, aren't you?--don't fail me; help me to devise some way
+of escaping from this place!"
+
+"Now do but hear thyself!  Escape?  Why, man, the corridors are
+in guard and keep of men-at-arms."
+
+"No doubt, no doubt.  But how many, Clarence?  Not many, I hope?"
+
+"Full a score.  One may not hope to escape."  After a pause
+--hesitatingly: "and there be other reasons--and weightier."
+
+"Other ones? What are they?"
+
+"Well, they say--oh, but I daren't, indeed daren't!"
+
+"Why, poor lad, what is the matter?  Why do you blench?  Why do
+you tremble so?"
+
+"Oh, in sooth, there is need!  I do want to tell you, but--"
+
+"Come, come, be brave, be a man--speak out, there's a good lad!"
+
+He hesitated, pulled one way by desire, the other way by fear;
+then he stole to the door and peeped out, listening; and finally
+crept close to me and put his mouth to my ear and told me his
+fearful news in a whisper, and with all the cowering apprehension
+of one who was venturing upon awful ground and speaking of things
+whose very mention might be freighted with death.
+
+"Merlin, in his malice, has woven a spell about this dungeon, and
+there bides not the man in these kingdoms that would be desperate
+enough to essay to cross its lines with you!  Now God pity me,
+I have told it!  Ah, be kind to me, be merciful to a poor boy who
+means thee well; for an thou betray me I am lost!"
+
+I laughed the only really refreshing laugh I had had for some time;
+and shouted:
+
+"Merlin has wrought a spell!  _Merlin_, forsooth!  That cheap old
+humbug, that maundering old ass?  Bosh, pure bosh, the silliest bosh
+in the world!  Why, it does seem to me that of all the childish,
+idiotic, chuckle-headed, chicken-livered superstitions that ev
+--oh, damn Merlin!"
+
+But Clarence had slumped to his knees before I had half finished,
+and he was like to go out of his mind with fright.
+
+"Oh, beware!  These are awful words!  Any moment these walls
+may crumble upon us if you say such things.  Oh call them back
+before it is too late!"
+
+Now this strange exhibition gave me a good idea and set me to
+thinking.  If everybody about here was so honestly and sincerely
+afraid of Merlin's pretended magic as Clarence was, certainly
+a superior man like me ought to be shrewd enough to contrive
+some way to take advantage of such a state of things.  I went
+on thinking, and worked out a plan. Then I said:
+
+"Get up.  Pull yourself together; look me in the eye.  Do you
+know why I laughed?"
+
+"No--but for our blessed Lady's sake, do it no more."
+
+"Well, I'll tell you why I laughed.  Because I'm a magician myself."
+
+"Thou!"  The boy recoiled a step, and caught his breath, for
+the thing hit him rather sudden; but the aspect which he took
+on was very, very respectful.  I took quick note of that; it
+indicated that a humbug didn't need to have a reputation in this
+asylum; people stood ready to take him at his word, without that.
+I resumed.
+
+"I've known Merlin seven hundred years, and he--"
+
+"Seven hun--"
+
+"Don't interrupt me.  He has died and come alive again thirteen
+times, and traveled under a new name every time: Smith, Jones,
+Robinson, Jackson, Peters, Haskins, Merlin--a new alias every
+time he turns up.  I knew him in Egypt three hundred years ago;
+I knew him in India five hundred years ago--he is always blethering
+around in my way, everywhere I go; he makes me tired.  He don't
+amount to shucks, as a magician; knows some of the old common
+tricks, but has never got beyond the rudiments, and never will.
+He is well enough for the provinces--one-night stands and that
+sort of thing, you know--but dear me, _he_ oughtn't to set up for
+an expert--anyway not where there's a real artist.  Now look here,
+Clarence, I am going to stand your friend, right along, and in
+return you must be mine.  I want you to do me a favor.  I want
+you to get word to the king that I am a magician myself--and the
+Supreme Grand High-yu-Muck-amuck and head of the tribe, at that;
+and I want him to be made to understand that I am just quietly
+arranging a little calamity here that will make the fur fly in these
+realms if Sir Kay's project is carried out and any harm comes
+to me.  Will you get that to the king for me?"
+
+The poor boy was in such a state that he could hardly answer me.
+It was pitiful to see a creature so terrified, so unnerved, so
+demoralized.  But he promised everything; and on my side he made
+me promise over and over again that I would remain his friend, and
+never turn against him or cast any enchantments upon him. Then
+he worked his way out, staying himself with his hand along the
+wall, like a sick person.
+
+Presently this thought occurred to me: how heedless I have been!
+When the boy gets calm, he will wonder why a great magician like me
+should have begged a boy like him to help me get out of this place;
+he will put this and that together, and will see that I am a humbug.
+
+I worried over that heedless blunder for an hour, and called myself
+a great many hard names, meantime.  But finally it occurred to me
+all of a sudden that these animals didn't reason; that _they_ never
+put this and that together; that all their talk showed that they
+didn't know a discrepancy when they saw it.  I was at rest, then.
+
+But as soon as one is at rest, in this world, off he goes on
+something else to worry about.  It occurred to me that I had made
+another blunder: I had sent the boy off to alarm his betters with
+a threat--I intending to invent a calamity at my leisure; now
+the people who are the readiest and eagerest and willingest to
+swallow miracles are the very ones who are hungriest to see you
+perform them; suppose I should be called on for a sample?  Suppose
+I should be asked to name my calamity?  Yes, I had made a blunder;
+I ought to have invented my calamity first.  "What shall I do?
+what can I say, to gain a little time?"  I was in trouble again;
+in the deepest kind of trouble...
+
+"There's a footstep!--they're coming.  If I had only just a moment
+to think....  Good, I've got it.  I'm all right."
+
+You see, it was the eclipse.  It came into my mind in the nick
+of time, how Columbus, or Cortez, or one of those people, played
+an eclipse as a saving trump once, on some savages, and I saw my
+chance.  I could play it myself, now, and it wouldn't be any
+plagiarism, either, because I should get it in nearly a thousand
+years ahead of those parties.
+
+Clarence came in, subdued, distressed, and said:
+
+"I hasted the message to our liege the king, and straightway he
+had me to his presence.  He was frighted even to the marrow,
+and was minded to give order for your instant enlargement, and
+that you be clothed in fine raiment and lodged as befitted one so
+great; but then came Merlin and spoiled all; for he persuaded
+the king that you are mad, and know not whereof you speak; and
+said your threat is but foolishness and idle vaporing.  They
+disputed long, but in the end, Merlin, scoffing, said, 'Wherefore
+hath he not _named_ his brave calamity?  Verily it is because he
+cannot.'  This thrust did in a most sudden sort close the king's
+mouth, and he could offer naught to turn the argument; and so,
+reluctant, and full loth to do you the discourtesy, he yet prayeth
+you to consider his perplexed case, as noting how the matter stands,
+and name the calamity--if so be you have determined the nature
+of it and the time of its coming.  Oh, prithee delay not; to delay
+at such a time were to double and treble the perils that already
+compass thee about.  Oh, be thou wise--name the calamity!"
+
+I allowed silence to accumulate while I got my impressiveness
+together, and then said:
+
+"How long have I been shut up in this hole?"
+
+"Ye were shut up when yesterday was well spent.  It is 9 of
+the morning now."
+
+"No!  Then I have slept well, sure enough.  Nine in the morning
+now!  And yet it is the very complexion of midnight, to a shade.
+This is the 20th, then?"
+
+"The 20th--yes."
+
+"And I am to be burned alive to-morrow."  The boy shuddered.
+
+"At what hour?"
+
+"At high noon."
+
+"Now then, I will tell you what to say."  I paused, and stood over
+that cowering lad a whole minute in awful silence; then, in a voice
+deep, measured, charged with doom, I began, and rose by dramatically
+graded stages to my colossal climax, which I delivered in as sublime
+and noble a way as ever I did such a thing in my life: "Go back
+and tell the king that at that hour I will smother the whole world
+in the dead blackness of midnight; I will blot out the sun, and he
+shall never shine again; the fruits of the earth shall rot for lack
+of light and warmth, and the peoples of the earth shall famish
+and die, to the last man!"
+
+I had to carry the boy out myself, he sunk into such a collapse.
+I handed him over to the soldiers, and went back.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+THE ECLIPSE
+
+In the stillness and the darkness, realization soon began to
+supplement knowledge.  The mere knowledge of a fact is pale; but
+when you come to _realize_ your fact, it takes on color. It is
+all the difference between hearing of a man being stabbed to
+the heart, and seeing it done.  In the stillness and the darkness,
+the knowledge that I was in deadly danger took to itself deeper
+and deeper meaning all the time; a something which was realization
+crept inch by inch through my veins and turned me cold.
+
+But it is a blessed provision of nature that at times like these,
+as soon as a man's mercury has got down to a certain point there
+comes a revulsion, and he rallies.  Hope springs up, and cheerfulness
+along with it, and then he is in good shape to do something for
+himself, if anything can be done.  When my rally came, it came with
+a bound.  I said to myself that my eclipse would be sure to save me,
+and make me the greatest man in the kingdom besides; and straightway
+my mercury went up to the top of the tube, and my solicitudes
+all vanished.  I was as happy a man as there was in the world.
+I was even impatient for to-morrow to come, I so wanted to gather
+in that great triumph and be the center of all the nation's wonder
+and reverence.  Besides, in a business way it would be the making
+of me; I knew that.
+
+Meantime there was one thing which had got pushed into the background
+of my mind.  That was the half-conviction that when the nature
+of my proposed calamity should be reported to those superstitious
+people, it would have such an effect that they would want to
+compromise.  So, by and by when I heard footsteps coming, that
+thought was recalled to me, and I said to myself, "As sure as
+anything, it's the compromise.  Well, if it is good, all right,
+I will accept; but if it isn't, I mean to stand my ground and play
+my hand for all it is worth."
+
+The door opened, and some men-at-arms appeared.  The leader said:
+
+"The stake is ready. Come!"
+
+The stake!  The strength went out of me, and I almost fell down.
+It is hard to get one's breath at such a time, such lumps come into
+one's throat, and such gaspings; but as soon as I could speak, I said:
+
+"But this is a mistake--the execution is to-morrow."
+
+"Order changed; been set forward a day.  Haste thee!"
+
+I was lost.  There was no help for me.  I was dazed, stupefied;
+I had no command over myself, I only wandered purposely about,
+like one out of his mind; so the soldiers took hold of me, and
+pulled me along with them, out of the cell and along the maze of
+underground corridors, and finally into the fierce glare of daylight
+and the upper world.  As we stepped into the vast enclosed court
+of the castle I got a shock; for the first thing I saw was the stake,
+standing in the center, and near it the piled fagots and a monk.
+On all four sides of the court the seated multitudes rose rank
+above rank, forming sloping terraces that were rich with color.
+The king and the queen sat in their thrones, the most conspicuous
+figures there, of course.
+
+To note all this, occupied but a second.  The next second Clarence
+had slipped from some place of concealment and was pouring news
+into my ear, his eyes beaming with triumph and gladness.  He said:
+
+"Tis through _me_ the change was wrought!  And main hard have I worked
+to do it, too.  But when I revealed to them the calamity in store,
+and saw how mighty was the terror it did engender, then saw I also
+that this was the time to strike!  Wherefore I diligently pretended,
+unto this and that and the other one, that your power against the sun
+could not reach its full until the morrow; and so if any would save
+the sun and the world, you must be slain to-day, while your
+enchantments are but in the weaving and lack potency.  Odsbodikins,
+it was but a dull lie, a most indifferent invention, but you should
+have seen them seize it and swallow it, in the frenzy of their
+fright, as it were salvation sent from heaven; and all the while
+was I laughing in my sleeve the one moment, to see them so cheaply
+deceived, and glorifying God the next, that He was content to let
+the meanest of His creatures be His instrument to the saving of
+thy life.  Ah how happy has the matter sped!  You will not need
+to do the sun a _real_ hurt--ah, forget not that, on your soul forget
+it not!  Only make a little darkness--only the littlest little
+darkness, mind, and cease with that.  It will be sufficient.  They
+will see that I spoke falsely,--being ignorant, as they will fancy
+--and with the falling of the first shadow of that darkness you
+shall see them go mad with fear; and they will set you free and
+make you great!  Go to thy triumph, now!  But remember--ah, good
+friend, I implore thee remember my supplication, and do the blessed
+sun no hurt.  For _my_ sake, thy true friend."
+
+I choked out some words through my grief and misery; as much as
+to say I would spare the sun; for which the lad's eyes paid me back
+with such deep and loving gratitude that I had not the heart
+to tell him his good-hearted foolishness had ruined me and sent me
+to my death.
+
+As the soldiers assisted me across the court the stillness was
+so profound that if I had been blindfold I should have supposed
+I was in a solitude instead of walled in by four thousand people.
+There was not a movement perceptible in those masses of humanity;
+they were as rigid as stone images, and as pale; and dread sat
+upon every countenance.  This hush continued while I was being
+chained to the stake; it still continued while the fagots were
+carefully and tediously piled about my ankles, my knees, my thighs,
+my body.  Then there was a pause, and a deeper hush, if possible,
+and a man knelt down at my feet with a blazing torch; the multitude
+strained forward, gazing, and parting slightly from their seats
+without knowing it; the monk raised his hands above my head, and
+his eyes toward the blue sky, and began some words in Latin; in
+this attitude he droned on and on, a little while, and then stopped.
+I waited two or three moments; then looked up; he was standing
+there petrified.  With a common impulse the multitude rose slowly
+up and stared into the sky.  I followed their eyes, as sure as guns,
+there was my eclipse beginning!  The life went boiling through
+my veins; I was a new man!  The rim of black spread slowly into
+the sun's disk, my heart beat higher and higher, and still the
+assemblage and the priest stared into the sky, motionless.  I knew
+that this gaze would be turned upon me, next.  When it was, I was
+ready.  I was in one of the most grand attitudes I ever struck,
+with my arm stretched up pointing to the sun.  It was a noble
+effect.  You could _see_ the shudder sweep the mass like a wave.
+Two shouts rang out, one close upon the heels of the other:
+
+"Apply the torch!"
+
+"I forbid it!"
+
+The one was from Merlin, the other from the king.  Merlin started
+from his place--to apply the torch himself, I judged.  I said:
+
+"Stay where you are.  If any man moves--even the king--before
+I give him leave, I will blast him with thunder, I will consume
+him with lightnings!"
+
+The multitude sank meekly into their seats, and I was just expecting
+they would.  Merlin hesitated a moment or two, and I was on pins
+and needles during that little while.  Then he sat down, and I took
+a good breath; for I knew I was master of the situation now.
+The king said:
+
+"Be merciful, fair sir, and essay no further in this perilous matter,
+lest disaster follow.  It was reported to us that your powers could
+not attain unto their full strength until the morrow; but--"
+
+"Your Majesty thinks the report may have been a lie?  It _was_ a lie."
+
+That made an immense effect; up went appealing hands everywhere,
+and the king was assailed with a storm of supplications that
+I might be bought off at any price, and the calamity stayed.
+The king was eager to comply. He said:
+
+"Name any terms, reverend sir, even to the halving of my kingdom;
+but banish this calamity, spare the sun!"
+
+My fortune was made.  I would have taken him up in a minute, but
+I couldn't stop an eclipse; the thing was out of the question.  So
+I asked time to consider.  The king said:
+
+"How long--ah, how long, good sir?  Be merciful; look, it groweth
+darker, moment by moment.  Prithee how long?"
+
+"Not long.  Half an hour--maybe an hour."
+
+There were a thousand pathetic protests, but I couldn't shorten up
+any, for I couldn't remember how long a total eclipse lasts.  I was
+in a puzzled condition, anyway, and wanted to think.  Something
+was wrong about that eclipse, and the fact was very unsettling.
+If this wasn't the one I was after, how was I to tell whether this
+was the sixth century, or nothing but a dream?  Dear me, if I could
+only prove it was the latter!  Here was a glad new hope.  If the boy
+was right about the date, and this was surely the 20th, it _wasn't_
+the sixth century.  I reached for the monk's sleeve, in considerable
+excitement, and asked him what day of the month it was.
+
+Hang him, he said it was the _twenty-first_!  It made me turn cold
+to hear him.  I begged him not to make any mistake about it; but
+he was sure; he knew it was the 21st.  So, that feather-headed
+boy had botched things again!  The time of the day was right
+for the eclipse; I had seen that for myself, in the beginning,
+by the dial that was near by.  Yes, I was in King Arthur's court,
+and I might as well make the most out of it I could.
+
+The darkness was steadily growing, the people becoming more and
+more distressed.  I now said:
+
+"I have reflected, Sir King.  For a lesson, I will let this darkness
+proceed, and spread night in the world; but whether I blot out
+the sun for good, or restore it, shall rest with you.  These are
+the terms, to wit: You shall remain king over all your dominions,
+and receive all the glories and honors that belong to the kingship;
+but you shall appoint me your perpetual minister and executive,
+and give me for my services one per cent of such actual increase
+of revenue over and above its present amount as I may succeed
+in creating for the state.  If I can't live on that, I sha'n't ask
+anybody to give me a lift.  Is it satisfactory?"
+
+There was a prodigious roar of applause, and out of the midst
+of it the king's voice rose, saying:
+
+"Away with his bonds, and set him free! and do him homage, high
+and low, rich and poor, for he is become the king's right hand,
+is clothed with power and authority, and his seat is upon the highest
+step of the throne!  Now sweep away this creeping night, and bring
+the light and cheer again, that all the world may bless thee."
+
+But I said:
+
+"That a common man should be shamed before the world, is nothing;
+but it were dishonor to the _king_ if any that saw his minister naked
+should not also see him delivered from his shame.  If I might ask
+that my clothes be brought again--"
+
+"They are not meet," the king broke in.  "Fetch raiment of another
+sort; clothe him like a prince!"
+
+My idea worked.  I wanted to keep things as they were till the
+eclipse was total, otherwise they would be trying again to get
+me to dismiss the darkness, and of course I couldn't do it.  Sending
+for the clothes gained some delay, but not enough.  So I had to make
+another excuse.  I said it would be but natural if the king should
+change his mind and repent to some extent of what he had done
+under excitement; therefore I would let the darkness grow a while,
+and if at the end of a reasonable time the king had kept his mind
+the same, the darkness should be dismissed.  Neither the king nor
+anybody else was satisfied with that arrangement, but I had
+to stick to my point.
+
+It grew darker and darker and blacker and blacker, while I struggled
+with those awkward sixth-century clothes.  It got to be pitch dark,
+at last, and the multitude groaned with horror to feel the cold
+uncanny night breezes fan through the place and see the stars
+come out and twinkle in the sky.  At last the eclipse was total,
+and I was very glad of it, but everybody else was in misery; which
+was quite natural. I said:
+
+"The king, by his silence, still stands to the terms."  Then
+I lifted up my hands--stood just so a moment--then I said, with
+the most awful solemnity: "Let the enchantment dissolve and
+pass harmless away!"
+
+There was no response, for a moment, in that deep darkness and
+that graveyard hush.  But when the silver rim of the sun pushed
+itself out, a moment or two later, the assemblage broke loose with
+a vast shout and came pouring down like a deluge to smother me
+with blessings and gratitude; and Clarence was not the last of
+the wash, to be sure.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Connecticut Yankee in
+King Arthur's Court, Part 1., by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
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