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diff --git a/old/7152-h.htm.2021-01-26 b/old/7152-h.htm.2021-01-26 new file mode 100644 index 0000000..76771d2 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/7152-h.htm.2021-01-26 @@ -0,0 +1,15423 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + Cecilia, by Frances Burney + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + .side { float: right; font-size: 75%; width: 25%; padding-left: 0.8em; + border-left: dashed thin; margin-left: 0.8em; text-align: left; + text-indent: 0; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; + font-weight: bold; color: black; background: #eeeeee; border: solid 1px;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Cecilia, Volume 3 (of 3), by +Frances (Fanny) Burney (Madame d'Arblay) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Cecilia, Volume 3 (of 3) + Memoirs of an Heiress + +Author: Frances (Fanny) Burney (Madame d'Arblay) + + +Release Date: December, 2004 [EBook #7152] +This file was first posted on March 18, 2003 +Last Updated: March 15, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CECILIA, VOLUME 3 (OF 3) *** + + + + +Text file produced by Delphine Lettau, Charles Franks and the people at DP + +HTML file produced by David Widger + + + +</pre> + + <div style="height: 8em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + CECILIA + </h1> + <h3> + VOLUME III (of III) + </h3> + <h4> + Or + </h4> + <h2> + MEMOIRS OF AN HEIRESS + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Frances Burney + </h2> + <p> + <b>CONTENTS</b> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <b>BOOK VIII. <i>Continued</i></b>. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER ii. — AN EVENT. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER iii. — A CONSTERNATION. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER iv. — A PERTURBATION. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER v. — A COTTAGE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER vi. — A CONTEST. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER vii. — A MESSAGE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER vii. — A PARTING. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER viii. — A TALE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER ix. — A SHOCK. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> <b>BOOK IX.</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER i. — A COGITATION. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER ii. — A SURPRIZE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER iii. — A CONFABULATION. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER iv. — A WRANGLING. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0014"> CHAPTER v. — A SUSPICION. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0015"> CHAPTER vi. — A DISTURBANCE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER vii. — A CALM. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0017"> CHAPTER viii. — AN ALARM. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0018"> CHAPTER ix. — A SUSPENSE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0019"> CHAPTER x. — A RELATION. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0020"> CHAPTER xi. — AN ENTERPRISE. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0023"> <b>BOOK X.</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0021"> CHAPTER i </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0022"> CHAPTER ii. — AN INTERVIEW. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0023"> CHAPTER iii. — A SUMMONS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0024"> CHAPTER iv. — A DELIBERATION. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0025"> CHAPTER v. — A DECISION. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0026"> CHAPTER vi. — A PRATING. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0027"> CHAPTER vii. — A PURSUIT. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0028"> CHAPTER vii. — AN ENCOUNTER. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0029"> CHAPTER ix. — A TRIBUTE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0030"> CHAPTER x. — A TERMINATION. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + BOOK VIII. <i>Continued</i>. + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER ii. — AN EVENT. + </h2> + <p> + Scarce less unhappy in her decision than in her uncertainty, and every way + dissatisfied with her situation, her views and herself, Cecilia was still + so distressed and uncomfortable, when Delvile called the next morning, + that he could not discover what her determination had been, and fearfully + enquired his doom with hardly any hope of finding favour. + </p> + <p> + But Cecilia was above affectation, and a stranger to art. “I would not, + Sir,” she said, “keep you an instant in suspense, when I am no longer in + suspense myself. I may have appeared trifling, but I have been nothing + less, and you would readily exculpate me of caprice, if half the distress + of my irresolution was known to you. Even now, when I hesitate no more, my + mind is so ill at ease, that I could neither wonder nor be displeased + should you hesitate in your turn.” + </p> + <p> + “You hesitate no more?” cried he, almost breathless at the sound of those + words, “and is it possible—Oh my Cecilia!—is it possible your + resolution is in my favour?” + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” cried she, “how little is your reason to rejoice! a dejected and + melancholy gift is all you can receive!” + </p> + <p> + “Ere I take it, then,” cried he, in a voice that spoke joy; pain, and fear + all at once in commotion, “tell me if your reluctance has its origin in <i>me</i>, + that I may rather even yet relinquish you, than merely owe your hand to + the selfishness of persecution?” + </p> + <p> + “Your pride,” said she, half smiling, “has some right to be alarmed, + though I meant not to alarm it. No! it is with myself only I am at + variance, with my own weakness and want of judgment that I quarrel,—in + <i>you</i> I have all the reliance that the highest opinion of your honour + and integrity can give me.” + </p> + <p> + This was enough for the warm heart of Delvile, not only to restore peace, + but to awaken rapture. He was almost as wild with delight, as he had + before been with apprehension, and poured forth his acknowledgments with + so much fervour of gratitude, that Cecilia imperceptibly grew reconciled + to herself, and before she missed her dejection, participated in his + contentment. + </p> + <p> + She quitted him as soon as she had power, to acquaint Mrs Charlton with + what had passed, and assist in preparing her to accompany them to the + altar; while Delvile flew to his new acquaintance, Mr Singleton, the + lawyer, to request him to supply the place of Mr Monckton in giving her + away. + </p> + <p> + All was now hastened with the utmost expedition, and to avoid observation, + they agreed to meet at the church; their desire of secrecy, however + potent, never urging them to wish the ceremony should be performed in a + place less awful. + </p> + <p> + When the chairs, however, came, which were to carry the two ladies + thither, Cecilia trembled and hung back. The greatness of her undertaking, + the hazard of all her future happiness, the disgraceful secrecy of her + conduct, the expected reproaches of Mrs Delvile, and the boldness and + indelicacy of the step she was about to take, all so forcibly struck, and + so painfully wounded her, that the moment she was summoned to set out, she + again lost her resolution, and regretting the hour that ever Delvile was + known to her, she sunk into a chair, and gave up her whole soul to anguish + and sorrow. + </p> + <p> + The good Mrs Charlton tried in vain to console her; a sudden horror + against herself had now seized her spirits, which, exhausted by long + struggles, could rally no more. + </p> + <p> + In this situation she was at length surprised by Delvile, whose uneasy + astonishment that she had failed in her appointment, was only to be + equalled by that with which he was struck at the sight of her tears. He + demanded the cause with the utmost tenderness and apprehension; Cecilia + for some time could not speak, and then, with a deep sigh, “Ah!” she + cried, “Mr Delvile! how weak are we all when unsupported by our own + esteem! how feeble, how inconsistent, how changeable, when our courage has + any foundation but duty!” + </p> + <p> + Delvile, much relieved by finding her sadness sprung not from any new + affliction, gently reproached her breach of promise, and earnestly + entreated her to repair it. “The clergyman,” cried he, “is waiting; I have + left him with Mr Singleton in the vestry; no new objections have started, + and no new obstacles have intervened; why, then, torment ourselves with + discussing again the old ones, which we have already considered till every + possible argument upon them is exhausted? Tranquillize, I conjure you, + your agitated spirits, and if the truest tenderness, the most animated + esteem, and the gratefullest admiration, can soften your future cares, and + ensure your future peace, every anniversary of this day will recompense my + Cecilia for every pang she now suffers!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, half soothed and half ashamed, finding she had in fact nothing + new to say or to object, compelled herself to rise, and, penetrated by his + solicitations, endeavoured to compose her mind, and promised to follow + him. + </p> + <p> + He would not trust her, however, from his sight, but seizing the very + instant of her renewed consent, he dismissed the chairs, and ordering a + hackney-coach, preferred any risk to that of her again wavering, and + insisted upon accompanying her in it himself. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia had now scarce time to breathe, before she found herself at the + porch of——church. Delvile hurried her out of the carriage, and + then offered his arm to Mrs Charlton. Not a word was spoken by any of the + party till they went into the vestry, where Delvile ordered Cecilia a + glass of water, and having hastily made his compliments to the clergyman, + gave her hand to Mr Singleton, who led her to the altar. + </p> + <p> + The ceremony was now begun; and Cecilia, finding herself past all power of + retracting, soon called her thoughts from wishing it, and turned her whole + attention to the awful service; to which though she listened with + reverence, her full satisfaction in the object of her vows, made her + listen without terror. But when the priest came to that solemn adjuration, + <i>If any man can shew any just cause why they may not lawfully be joined + together</i>, a conscious tear stole into her eye, and a sigh escaped from + Delvile that went to her heart: but, when the priest concluded the + exhortation with <i>let him now speak, or else hereafter for-ever hold his + peace</i>, a female voice at some distance, called out in shrill accents, + “I do!” + </p> + <p> + The ceremony was instantly stopt. The astonished priest immediately shut + up the book to regard the intended bride and bridegroom; Delvile started + with amazement to see whence the sound proceeded; and Cecilia, aghast, and + struck with horror, faintly shriekt, and caught hold of Mrs Charlton. + </p> + <p> + The consternation was general, and general was the silence, though all of + one accord turned round towards the place whence the voice issued: a + female form at the same moment was seen rushing from a pew, who glided out + of the church with the quickness of lightning. + </p> + <p> + Not a word was yet uttered, every one seeming rooted to the spot on which + he stood, and regarding in mute wonder the place this form had crossed. + </p> + <p> + Delvile at length exclaimed, “What can this mean?” + </p> + <p> + “Did you not know the woman, Sir?” said the clergyman. + </p> + <p> + “No, Sir, I did not even see her.” + </p> + <p> + “Nor you, madam?” said he, addressing Cecilia. + </p> + <p> + “No, Sir,” she answered, in a voice that scarce articulated the two + syllables, and changing colour so frequently, that Delvile, apprehensive + she would faint, flew to her, calling out, “Let <i>me</i> support you!” + </p> + <p> + She turned from him hastily, and still, holding by Mrs Charlton, moved + away from the altar. + </p> + <p> + “Whither,” cried Delvile, fearfully following her, “whither are you + going?” + </p> + <p> + She made not any answer; but still, though tottering as much from emotion + as Mrs Charlton from infirmity, she walked on. + </p> + <p> + “Why did you stop the ceremony, Sir?” cried Delvile, impatiently speaking + to the clergyman. + </p> + <p> + “No ceremony, Sir,” he returned, “could proceed with such an + interruption.” + </p> + <p> + “It has been wholly accidental,” cried he, “for we neither of us know the + woman, who could not have any right or authority for the prohibition.” + Then yet more anxiously pursuing Cecilia, “why,” he continued, “do you + thus move off?—Why leave the ceremony unfinished?—Mrs + Charlton, what is it you are about?—Cecilia, I beseech you return, + and let the service go on!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, making a motion with her hand to forbid his following her, still + silently proceeded, though drawing along with equal difficulty Mrs + Charlton and herself. + </p> + <p> + “This is insupportable!” cried Delvile, with vehemence, “turn, I conjure + you!—my Cecilia!—my wife!—why is it you thus abandon me?—Turn, + I implore you, and receive my eternal vows!—Mrs Charlton, bring her + back,—Cecilia, you <i>must</i> not go!—” + </p> + <p> + He now attempted to take her hand, but shrinking from his touch, in an + emphatic but low voice, she said, “Yes, Sir, I must!—an interdiction + such as this!—for the world could I not brave it!” + </p> + <p> + She then made an effort to somewhat quicken her pace. + </p> + <p> + “Where,” cried Delvile, half frantic, “where is this infamous woman? This + wretch who has thus wantonly destroyed me!” + </p> + <p> + And he rushed out of the church in pursuit of her. + </p> + <p> + The clergyman and Mr Singleton, who had hitherto been wondering + spectators, came now to offer their assistance to Cecilia. She declined + any help for herself, but gladly accepted their services for Mrs Charlton, + who, thunderstruck by all that had past, seemed almost robbed of her + faculties. Mr Singleton proposed calling a hackney coach, she consented, + and they stopt for it at the church porch. + </p> + <p> + The clergyman now began to enquire of the pew-opener, what she knew of the + woman, who she was, and how she had got into the church? She knew of her, + she answered, nothing, but that she had come in to early prayers, and she + supposed she had hid herself in a pew when they were over, as she had + thought the church entirely empty. + </p> + <p> + An hackney coach now drew up, and while the gentlemen were assisting Mrs + Charlton into it, Delvile returned. + </p> + <p> + “I have pursued and enquired,” cried he, “in vain, I can neither discover + nor hear of her.—But what is all this? Whither are you going?—What + does this coach do here?—Mrs Charlton, why do you get into it?—Cecilia, + what are you doing?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia turned away from him in silence. The shock she had received, took + from her all power of speech, while amazement and terror deprived her even + of relief from tears. She believed Delvile to blame, though she knew not + in what, but the obscurity of her fears served only to render them more + dreadful. + </p> + <p> + She was now getting into the coach herself, but Delvile, who could neither + brook her displeasure, nor endure her departure, forcibly caught her hand, + and called out, “You are <i>mine</i>, you are my <i>wife</i>!—I will + part with you no more, and go whithersoever you will, I will follow and + claim you!” + </p> + <p> + “Stop me not!” cried she, impatiently though faintly, “I am sick, I am ill + already,—if you detain me any longer, I shall be unable to support + myself!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh then rest on <i>me</i>!” cried he, still holding her; “rest but upon + me till the ceremony is over!—you will drive me to despair and to + madness if you leave me in this barbarous manner!” + </p> + <p> + A crowd now began to gather, and the words bride and bridegroom reached + the ears of Cecilia; who half dead with shame, with fear, and with + distress, hastily said “You are determined to make me miserable!” and + snatching away her hand, which Delvile at those words could no longer + hold, she threw herself into the carriage. + </p> + <p> + Delvile, however, jumped in after her, and with an air of authority + ordered the coachman to Pall-Mall, and then drew up the glasses, with a + look of fierceness at the mob. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia had neither spirits nor power to resist him; yet, offended by his + violence, and shocked to be thus publickly pursued by him, her looks spoke + a resentment far more mortifying than any verbal reproach. + </p> + <p> + “Inhuman Cecilia!” cried he, passionately, “to desert me at the very + altar!—to cast me off at the instant the most sacred rites were + uniting us!—and then thus to look at me!—to treat me with this + disdain at a time of such distraction!—to scorn me thus injuriously + at the moment you unjustly abandon me!” + </p> + <p> + “To how dreadful a scene,” said Cecilia, recovering from her + consternation, “have you exposed me! to what shame, what indignity, what + irreparable disgrace!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh heaven!” cried he with horror, “if any crime, any offence of mine has + occasioned this fatal blow, the whole world holds not a wretch so culpable + as myself, nor one who will sooner allow the justice of your rigour! my + veneration for you has ever equalled my affection, and could I think it + was through <i>me</i> you have suffered any indignity, I should soon abhor + myself, as you seem to abhor me. But what is it I have done? How have I + thus incensed you? By what action, by what guilt, have I incurred this + displeasure? + </p> + <p> + “Whence,” cried she, “came that voice which still vibrates in my ear? The + prohibition could not be on <i>my</i> account, since none to whom I am + known have either right or interest in even wishing it.” + </p> + <p> + “What an inference is this! over <i>me</i>, then, do you conclude this + woman had any power?” + </p> + <p> + Here they stopt at the lodgings. Delvile handed both the ladies out. + Cecilia, eager to avoid his importunities, and dreadfully disturbed, + hastily past him, and ran up stairs; but Mrs Charlton refused not his arm, + on which she lent till they reached the drawing-room. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then rang the bell for her servant, and gave orders that a + post-chaise might be sent for immediately. + </p> + <p> + Delvile now felt offended in his turn; but suppressing his vehemence, he + gravely and quietly said “Determined as you are to leave me, indifferent + to my peace, and incredulous of my word, deign, at least, before we part, + to be more explicit in your accusation, and tell me if indeed it is + possible you can suspect that the wretch who broke off the ceremony, had + ever from me received provocation for such an action?” + </p> + <p> + “I know not what to suspect,” said Cecilia, “where every thing is thus + involved in obscurity; but I must own I should have some difficulty to + think those words the effect of chance, or to credit that their speaker + was concealed without design.” + </p> + <p> + “You are right, then, madam,” cried he, resentfully, “to discard me! to + treat me with contempt, to banish me without repugnance, since I see you + believe me capable of duplicity, and imagine I am better informed in this + affair than I appear to be. You have said I shall make you miserable,—no, + madam, no! your happiness and misery depend not upon one you hold so + worthless!” + </p> + <p> + “On whatever they depend,” said Cecilia, “I am too little at ease for + discussion. I would no more be daring than superstitious, but none of our + proceedings have prospered, and since their privacy has always been + contrary both to my judgment and my principles, I know not how to repine + at a failure I cannot think unmerited. Mrs Charlton, our chaise is coming; + you will be ready, I hope, to set off in it directly?” + </p> + <p> + Delvile, too angry to trust himself to speak, now walked about the room, + and endeavoured to calm himself; but so little was his success, that + though silent till the chaise was announced, when he heard that dreaded + sound, and saw Cecilia steady in her purpose of departing, he was so much + shocked and afflicted, that, clasping his hands in a transport of passion + and grief, he exclaimed. “This, then, Cecilia, is your faith! this is the + felicity you bid me hope! this is the recompense of my sufferings, and the + performing of your engagement!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, struck by these reproaches, turned back; but while she hesitated + how to answer them, he went on, “You are insensible to my misery, and + impenetrable to my entreaties; a secret enemy has had power to make me + odious in your sight, though for her enmity I can assign no cause, though + even her existence was this morning unknown to me! Ever ready to abandon, + and most willing to condemn me, you have more confidence in a vague + conjecture, than in all you have observed of the whole tenour of my + character. Without knowing why, you are disposed to believe me criminal, + without deigning to say wherefore, you are eager to banish me your + presence. Yet scarce could a consciousness of guilt itself, wound me so + forcibly, so keenly, as your suspecting I am guilty!” + </p> + <p> + “Again, then,” cried Cecilia, “shall I subject myself to a scene of such + disgrace and horror? No, never!—The punishment of my error shall at + least secure its reformation. Yet if I merit your reproaches, I deserve + not your regard; cease, therefore, to profess any for me, or make them no + more.” + </p> + <p> + “Shew but to them,” cried he, “the smallest sensibility, shew but for me + the most distant concern, and I will try to bear my disappointment without + murmuring, and submit to your decrees as to those from which there is no + appeal: but to wound without deigning even to look at what you destroy,—to + shoot at random those arrows that are pointed with poison,—to see + them fasten on the heart, and corrode its vital functions, yet look on + without compunction, or turn away with cold disdain,—Oh where is the + candour I thought lodged in Cecilia! where the justice, the equity, I + believed a part of herself!” + </p> + <p> + “After all that has past,” said Cecilia, sensibly touched by his distress, + “I expected not these complaints, nor that, from me, any assurances would + be wanted; yet, if it will quiet your mind, if it will better reconcile + you to our separation—-” + </p> + <p> + “Oh fatal prelude!” interrupted he, “what on earth can quiet my mind that + leads to our separation?—Give to me no condescension with any such + view,—preserve your indifference, persevere in your coldness, + triumph still in your power of inspiring those feelings you can never + return,—all, every thing is more supportable than to talk of our + separation!” + </p> + <p> + “Yet how,” cried she, “parted, torn asunder as we have been, how is it now + to be avoided?” + </p> + <p> + “Trust in my honour! Shew me but the confidence which I will venture to + say I deserve, and then will that union no longer be impeded, which in + future, I am certain, will never be repented!” + </p> + <p> + “Good heaven, what a request! faith so implicit would be frenzy.” + </p> + <p> + “You doubt, then, my integrity? You suspect—-” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed I do not; yet in a case of such importance, what ought to guide me + but my own reason, my own conscience, my own sense of right? Pain me not, + therefore, with reproaches, distress me no more with entreaties, when I + solemnly declare that no earthly consideration shall ever again make me + promise you my hand, while the terror of Mrs Delvile's displeasure has + possession of my heart. And now adieu.” + </p> + <p> + “You give me, then, up?” + </p> + <p> + “Be patient, I beseech you; and attempt not to follow me; 'tis a step I + cannot permit.” + </p> + <p> + “Not follow you? And who has power to prevent me?” + </p> + <p> + “<i>I</i> have, Sir, if to incur my endless resentment is of any + consequence to you.” + </p> + <p> + She then, with an air of determined steadiness, moved on; Mrs Charlton, + assisted by the servants, being already upon the stairs. + </p> + <p> + “O tyranny!” cried he, “what submission is it you exact!—May I not + even enquire into the dreadful mystery of this morning?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, certainly.” + </p> + <p> + “And may I not acquaint you with it, should it be discovered?” + </p> + <p> + “I shall not be sorry to hear it. Adieu.” + </p> + <p> + She was now half way down the stairs; when, losing all forbearance, he + hastily flew after her, and endeavouring to stop her, called out, “If you + do not hate and detest me,—if I am not loathsome and abhorrent to + you, O quit me not thus insensibly!—Cecilia! my beloved Cecilia!—speak + to me, at least, one word of less severity! Look at me once more, and tell + me we part not for-ever!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then turned round, and while a starting tear shewed her + sympathetic distress, said, “Why will you thus oppress me with entreaties + I ought not to gratify?—Have I not accompanied you to the altar,—and + can you doubt what I have thought of you?” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Have</i> thought?—Oh Cecilia!—is it then all over?” + </p> + <p> + “Pray suffer me to go quietly, and fear not I shall go too happily! + Suppress your own feelings, rather than seek to awaken mine. Alas! there + is little occasion!—Oh Mr Delvile! were our connection opposed by no + duty, and repugnant to no friends, were it attended by no impropriety, and + carried on with no necessity of disguise,—you would not thus charge + me with indifference, you would not suspect me of insensibility,—Oh + no! the choice of my heart would then be its glory, and all I now blush to + feel, I should openly and with pride acknowledge!” + </p> + <p> + She then hurried to the chaise, Delvile pursuing her with thanks and + blessings, and gratefully assuring her, as he handed her into it, that he + would obey all her injunctions, and not even attempt to see her, till he + could bring her some intelligence concerning the morning's transaction. + </p> + <p> + The chaise then drove off. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER iii. — A CONSTERNATION. + </h2> + <p> + The journey was melancholy and tedious: Mrs Charlton, extremely fatigued + by the unusual hurry and exercise both of mind and body which she had + lately gone through, was obliged to travel very slowly, and to lie upon + the road. Cecilia, however, was in no haste to proceed: she was going to + no one she wished to see, she was wholly without expectation of meeting + with any thing that could give her pleasure. The unfortunate expedition in + which she had been engaged, left her now nothing but regret, and only + promised her in future sorrow and mortification. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Charlton, after her return home, still continued ill, and Cecilia, who + constantly attended her, had the additional affliction of imputing her + indisposition to herself. Every thing she thought conspired to punish the + error she had committed; her proceedings were discovered, though her + motives were unknown; the Delvile family could not fail to hear of her + enterprize, and while they attributed it to her temerity, they would exult + in its failure: but chiefly hung upon her mind the unaccountable + prohibition of her marriage. Whence that could proceed she was wholly + without ability to divine, yet her surmizes were not more fruitless than + various. At one moment she imagined it some frolic of Morrice, at another + some perfidy of Monckton, and at another an idle and unmeaning trick of + some stranger to them all. But none of these suppositions carried with + them any air of probability; Morrice, even if he had watched their motions + and pursued them to the church, which his inquisitive impertinence made by + no means impossible, could yet hardly have either time or opportunity to + engage any woman in so extraordinary an undertaking; Mr Monckton, however + averse to the connection, she considered as a man of too much honour to + break it off in a manner so alarming and disgraceful; and mischief so + wanton in any stranger, seemed to require a share of unfeeling effrontery, + which could fall to the lot of so few as to make this suggestion unnatural + and incredible. + </p> + <p> + Sometimes she imagined that Delvile might formerly have been affianced to + some woman, who having accidentally discovered his intentions, took this + desperate method of rendering them abortive: but this was a short-lived + thought, and speedily gave way to her esteem for his general character, + and her confidence in the firmness of his probity. + </p> + <p> + All, therefore, was dark and mysterious; conjecture was baffled, and + meditation was useless. Her opinions were unfixed, and her heart was + miserable; she could only be steady in believing Delvile as unhappy as + herself, and only find consolation in believing him, also, as blameless. + </p> + <p> + Three days passed thus, without incident or intelligence; her time wholly + occupied in attending Mrs Charlton; her thoughts all engrossed upon her + own situation: but upon the fourth day she was informed that a lady was in + the parlour, who desired to speak with her. + </p> + <p> + She presently went down stairs,—and, upon entering the room, + perceived Mrs Delvile! + </p> + <p> + Seized with astonishment and fear, she stopt short, and, looking aghast, + held by the door, robbed of all power to receive so unexpected and + unwelcome a visitor, by an internal sensation of guilt, mingled with a + dread of discovery and reproach. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Delvile, addressing her with the coldest politeness, said, “I fear I + have surprised you; I am sorry I had not time to acquaint you of my + intention to wait upon you.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then, moving from the door, faintly answered, “I cannot, madam, + but be honoured by your notice, whenever you are pleased to confer it.” + </p> + <p> + They then sat down; Mrs Delvile preserving an air the most formal and + distant, and Cecilia half sinking with apprehensive dismay. + </p> + <p> + After a short and ill-boding silence, “I mean not,” said Mrs Delvile, “to + embarrass or distress you; I will not, therefore, keep you in suspense of + the purport of my visit. I come not to make enquiries, I come not to put + your sincerity to any trial, nor to torture your delicacy; I dispense with + all explanation, for I have not one doubt to solve: I <i>know</i> what has + passed, I <i>know</i> that my son loves you.” + </p> + <p> + Not all her secret alarm, nor all the perturbation of her fears, had + taught Cecilia to expect so direct an attack, nor enabled her to bear the + shock of it with any composure: she could not speak, she could not look at + Mrs Delvile; she arose, and walked to the window, without knowing what she + was doing. + </p> + <p> + Here, however, her distress was not likely to diminish; for the first + sight she saw was Fidel, who barked, and jumped up at the window to lick + her hands. + </p> + <p> + “Good God! Fidel here!” exclaimed Mrs Delvile, amazed. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, totally overpowered, covered her glowing face with both her + hands, and sunk into a chair. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Delvile for a few minutes was silent; and then, following her, said, + “Imagine not I am making any discovery, nor suspect me of any design to + develop your sentiments. That Mortimer could love in vain I never, + believed; that Miss Beverley, possessing so much merit, could be blind to + it in another, I never thought possible. I mean not, therefore, to solicit + any account or explanation, but merely to beg your patience while I talk + to you myself, and your permission to speak to you with openness and + truth.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, though relieved by this calmness from all apprehension of + reproach, found in her manner a coldness that convinced her of the loss of + her affection, and in the introduction to her business a solemnity that + assured her what she should decree would be unalterable. She uncovered her + face to shew her respectful attention, but she could not raise it up, and + could not utter a word. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Delvile then seated herself next her, and gravely continued her + discourse. + </p> + <p> + “Miss Beverley, however little acquainted with the state of our family + affairs, can scarcely have been uninformed that a fortune such as hers + seems almost all that family can desire; nor can she have failed to + observe, that her merit and accomplishments have no where been more felt + and admired: the choice therefore of Mortimer she could not doubt would + have our sanction, and when she honoured his proposals with her favour, + she might naturally conclude she gave happiness and pleasure to all his + friends.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, superior to accepting a palliation of which she felt herself + undeserving, now lifted up her head, and forcing herself to speak, said + “No, madam, I will not deceive you, for I have never been deceived myself: + I presumed not to expect your approbation,—though in missing it I + have for ever lost my own!” + </p> + <p> + “Has Mortimer, then,” cried she with eagerness, “been strictly honourable? + has he neither beguiled nor betrayed you?” + </p> + <p> + “No, madam,” said she, blushing, “I have nothing to reproach him with.” + </p> + <p> + “Then he is indeed my son!” cried Mrs Delvile, with emotion; “had he been + treacherous to you, while disobedient to us, I had indisputably renounced + him.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who now seemed the only culprit, felt herself in a state of + humiliation not to be borne; she collected, therefore, all her courage, + and said, “I have cleared Mr Delvile; permit me, madam, now, to say + something for myself.” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly; you cannot oblige me more than by speaking without disguise.” + </p> + <p> + “It is not in the hope of regaining your good opinion,—that, I see, + is lost!—but merely—” + </p> + <p> + “No, not lost,” said Mrs Delvile, “but if once it was yet higher, the + fault was my own, in indulging an expectation of perfection to which human + nature is perhaps unequal.” + </p> + <p> + Ah, then, thought Cecilia, all is over! the contempt I so much feared is + incurred, and though it may be softened, it can never be removed! + </p> + <p> + “Speak, then, and with sincerity,” she continued, “all you wish me to + hear, and then grant me your attention in return to the purpose of my + present journey.” + </p> + <p> + “I have little, madam,” answered the depressed Cecilia, “to say; you tell + me you already know all that has past; I will not, therefore, pretend to + take any merit from revealing it: I will only add, that my consent to this + transaction has made me miserable almost from the moment I gave it; that I + meant and wished to retract as soon as reflection pointed out to me my + error, and that circumstances the most perverse, not blindness to + propriety, nor stubbornness in wrong, led me to make, at last, that fatal + attempt, of which the recollection, to my last hour, must fill me with + regret and shame.” + </p> + <p> + “I wonder not,” said Mrs Delvile, “that in a situation where delicacy was + so much less requisite than courage, Miss Beverley should feel herself + distressed and unhappy. A mind such as hers could never err with impunity; + and it is solely from a certainty of her innate sense of right, that I + venture to wait upon her now, and that I have any hope to influence <i>her</i> + upon whose influence alone our whole family must in future depend. Shall I + now proceed, or is there any thing you wish to say first?” + </p> + <p> + “No, madam, nothing.” + </p> + <p> + “Hear me, then, I beg of you, with no predetermination to disregard me, + but with an equitable resolution to attend to reason, and a candour that + leaves an opening to conviction. Not easy, indeed, is such a task, to a + mind pre-occupied with an intention to be guided by the dictates of + inclination,—-” + </p> + <p> + “You wrong me, indeed, madam!” interrupted Cecilia, greatly hurt, “my mind + harbours no such intention, it has no desire but to be guided by duty, it + is wretched with a consciousness of having failed in it! I pine, I sicken + to recover my own good opinion; I should then no longer feel unworthy of + yours; and whether or not I might be able to regain it, I should at least + lose this cruel depression that now sinks me in your presence!” + </p> + <p> + “To regain it,” said Mrs Delvile, “were to exercise but half your power, + which at this moment enables you, if such is your wish, to make me think + of you more highly than one human being ever thought of another. Do you + condescend to hold this worth your while?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia started at the question; her heart beat quick with struggling + passions; she saw the sacrifice which was to be required, and her pride, + her affronted pride, arose high to anticipate the rejection; but the + design was combated by her affections, which opposed the indignant + rashness, and told her that one hasty speech might separate her from + Delvile for ever. When this painful conflict was over, of which Mrs + Delvile patiently waited the issue, she answered, with much hesitation, + “To regain your good opinion, madam, greatly, truly as I value it,—is + what I now scarcely dare hope.” + </p> + <p> + “Say not so,” cried she, “since, if you hope, you cannot miss it. I + purpose to point out to you the means to recover it, and to tell you how + greatly I shall think myself your debtor if you refuse not to employ + them.” + </p> + <p> + She stopt; but Cecilia hung back; fearful of her own strength, she dared + venture at no professions; yet, how either to support, or dispute her + compliance, she dreaded to think. + </p> + <p> + “I come to you, then,” Mrs Delvile solemnly resumed, “in the name of Mr + Delvile, and in the name of our whole family; a family as ancient as it is + honourable, as honourable as it is ancient. Consider me as its + representative, and hear in me its common voice, common opinion, and + common address. + </p> + <p> + “My son, the supporter of our house, the sole guardian of its name, and + the heir of our united fortunes, has selected you, we know, for the lady + of his choice, and so fondly has, fixed upon you his affections, that he + is ready to relinquish us all in preference to subduing them. To yourself + alone, then, can we apply, and I come to you—” + </p> + <p> + “O hold, madam, hold!” interrupted Cecilia, whose courage now revived from + resentment, “I know, what you would say; you come to tell me of your + disdain; you come to reproach my presumption, and to kill me with your + contempt! There is little occasion for such a step; I am depressed, I am + self-condemned already; spare me, therefore, this insupportable + humiliation, wound me not with your scorn, oppress me not with your + superiority! I aim at no competition, I attempt no vindication, I + acknowledge my own littleness as readily as you can despise it, and + nothing but indignity could urge me to defend it!” + </p> + <p> + “Believe me,” said Mrs Delvile, “I meant not to hurt or offend you, and I + am sorry if I have appeared to you either arrogant or assuming. The + peculiar and perilous situation of my family has perhaps betrayed me into + offensive expressions, and made me guilty myself of an ostentation which + in others has often disgusted me. Ill, indeed, can we any of us bear the + test of experiment, when tried upon those subjects which call forth our + particular propensities. We may strive to be disinterested, we may + struggle to be impartial, but self will still predominate, still shew us + the imperfection of our natures, and the narrowness of our souls. Yet + acquit me, I beg, of any intentional insolence, and imagine not that in + speaking highly of my own family, I, mean to depreciate yours: on the + contrary, I know it to be respectable, I know, too, that were it the + lowest in the kingdom, the first might envy it that it gave birth to such + a daughter.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, somewhat soothed by this speech, begged her pardon for having + interrupted her, and she proceeded. + </p> + <p> + “To your family, then, I assure you, whatever may be the pride of our own, + <i>you</i> being its offspring, we would not object. With your merit we + are all well acquainted, your character has our highest esteem, and your + fortune exceeds even our most sanguine desires. Strange at once and + afflicting! that not all these requisites for the satisfaction of + prudence, nor all these allurements for the gratification of happiness, + can suffice to fulfil or to silence the claims of either! There are yet + other demands to which we must attend, demands which ancestry and blood + call upon us aloud to ratify! Such claimants are not to be neglected with + impunity; they assert their rights with the authority of prescription, + they forbid us alike either to bend to inclination, or stoop to interest, + and from generation to generation their injuries will call out for + redress, should their noble and long unsullied name be voluntarily + consigned to oblivion!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, extremely struck by these words, scarce wondered, since so strong + and so established were her opinions, that the obstacle to her marriage, + though but one, should be considered as insuperable. + </p> + <p> + “Not, therefore, to <i>your</i> name are we averse,” she continued, “but + simply to our own more partial. To sink that, indeed, in <i>any</i> other, + were base and unworthy:—what, then, must be the shock of my + disappointment, should Mortimer Delvile, the darling of my hopes, the last + survivor of his house, in whose birth I rejoiced as the promise of its + support, in whose accomplishments I gloried, as the revival of its lustre,—should + <i>he</i>, should, <i>my</i> son be the first to abandon it! to give up + the name he seemed born to make live, and to cause in effect its utter + annihilation!—Oh how should I know my son when an alien to his + family! how bear to think I had cherished in my bosom the betrayer of its + dearest interests, the destroyer of its very existence!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, scarce more afflicted than offended, now hastily answered, “Not + for me, madam, shall he commit this crime, not on <i>my</i> account shall + he be reprobated by his family! Think of him, therefore, no more, with any + reference to me, for I would not be the cause of unworthiness or guilt in + him to be mistress of the universe!” + </p> + <p> + “Nobly said!” cried Mrs Delvile, her eyes sparkling with joy, and her + cheeks glowing with pleasure, “now again do I know Miss Beverley! now + again see the refined, the excellent young woman, whose virtues taught me + to expect the renunciation even of her own happiness, when found to be + incompatible with her duty!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia now trembled and turned pale; she scarce knew herself what she had + said, but, she found by Mrs Delvile's construction of her words, they had + been regarded as her final relinquishing of her son. She ardently wished + to quit the room before she was called upon to confirm the sentence, but, + she had not courage to make the effort, nor to rise, speak, or move. + </p> + <p> + “I grieve, indeed,” continued Mrs Delvile, whose coldness and austerity + were changed into mildness and compassion, “at the necessity I have been + under to draw from you a concurrence so painful: but no other resource was + in my power. My influence with Mortimer, whatever it may be, I have not + any right to try, without obtaining your previous consent, since I regard + him myself as bound to you in honour, and only to be released by your own + virtuous desire. I will leave you, however, for my presence, I see, is + oppressive to you. Farewell; and when you <i>can</i> forgive me, I think + you <i>will</i>.” + </p> + <p> + “I have nothing, madam,” said Cecilia, coldly, “to forgive; you have only + asserted your own dignity, and I have nobody to blame but myself, for + having given you occasion.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas,” cried Mrs Delvile, “if worth and nobleness of soul on your part, + if esteem and tenderest affection on mine, were all which that dignity + which offends you requires, how should I crave the blessing of such a + daughter! how rejoice in joining my son to excellence so like his own, and + ensuring his happiness while I stimulated his virtue!” + </p> + <p> + “Do not talk to me of affection, madam,” said Cecilia, turning away from + her; “whatever you had for me is past,—even your esteem is gone,—you + may pity me, indeed, but your pity is mixed with contempt, and I am not so + abject as to find comfort from exciting it.” + </p> + <p> + “O little,” cried Mrs Delvile, looking at her with the utmost tenderness, + “little do you see the state of my heart, for never have you appeared to + me so worthy as at this moment! In tearing you from my son, I partake all + the wretchedness I give, but your own sense of duty must something plead + for the strictness with which I act up to mine.” + </p> + <p> + She then moved towards the door. + </p> + <p> + “Is your carriage, madam,” said Cecilia, struggling to disguise her inward + anguish under an appearance of sullenness, “in waiting?” + </p> + <p> + Mrs Delvile then came back, and holding out her hand, while her eyes + glistened with tears, said, “To part from you thus frigidly, while my + heart so warmly admires you, is almost more than I can endure. Oh gentlest + Cecilia! condemn not a mother who is impelled to this severity, who + performing what she holds to be her duty, thinks the office her bitterest + misfortune, who forsees in the rage of her husband, and the resistance of + her son, all the misery of domestic contention, and who can only secure + the honour of her family by destroying its peace!—You will not, + then, give me your hand?—” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who had affected not to see that she waited for it, now coldly + put it out, distantly [courtseying], and seeking to preserve her + steadiness by avoiding to speak. Mrs Delvile took it, and as she repeated + her adieu, affectionately pressed it to her lips; Cecilia, starting, and + breathing short, from encreasing yet smothered agitation, called out “Why, + why this condescension?—pray,—I entreat you, madam!—” + </p> + <p> + “Heaven bless you, my love!” said Mrs Delvile, dropping a tear upon the + hand she still held, “heaven bless you, and restore the tranquillity you + so nobly deserve!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah madam!” cried Cecilia, vainly striving to repress any longer the tears + which now forced their way down her cheeks, “why will you break my heart + with this kindness! why will you still compel me to love!—when now I + almost wish to hate you!”— + </p> + <p> + “No, hate me not,” said Mrs Delvile, kissing from her cheeks the tears + that watered them, “hate me not, sweetest Cecilia, though in wounding your + gentle bosom, I am almost detestable to myself. Even the cruel scene which + awaits me with my son will not more deeply afflict me. But adieu,—I + must now prepare for him!” + </p> + <p> + She then left the room: but Cecilia, whose pride had no power to resist + this tenderness, ran hastily after her, saying “Shall I not see you again, + madam?” + </p> + <p> + “You shall yourself decide,” answered she; “if my coming will not give you + more pain than pleasure, I will wait upon you whenever you please.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia sighed and paused; she knew not what to desire, yet rather wished + any thing to be done, than quietly to sit down to uninterrupted + reflection. + </p> + <p> + “Shall I postpone quitting this place,” continued Mrs Delvile, “till + to-morrow morning, and will you admit me this afternoon, should I call + upon you again?” + </p> + <p> + “I should be sorry,” said she, still hesitating, “to detain you,”— + </p> + <p> + “You will rejoice me,” cried Mrs Delvile, “by bearing me in your sight.” + </p> + <p> + And she then went into her carriage. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, unfitted to attend her old friend, and unequal to the task of + explaining to her the cruel scene in which she had just been engaged, then + hastened to her own apartment. Her hitherto stifled emotions broke forth + in tears and repinings: her fate was finally determined, and its + determination was not more unhappy than humiliating; she was openly + rejected by the family whose alliance she was known to wish; she was + compelled to refuse the man of her choice, though satisfied his affections + were her own. A misery so peculiar she found hard to support, and almost + bursting with conflicting passions, her heart alternately swelled from + offended pride, and sunk from disappointed tenderness. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER iv. — A PERTURBATION. + </h2> + <p> + Cecelia was still in this tempestuous state, when a message was brought + her that a gentleman was below stairs, who begged to have the honour of + seeing her. She concluded he was Delvile, and the thought of meeting him + merely to communicate what must so bitterly afflict him, redoubled her + distress, and she went down in an agony of perturbation and sorrow. + </p> + <p> + He met her at the door, where, before he could speak, “Mr Delvile,” she + cried, in a hurrying manner, “why will you come? Why will you thus insist + upon seeing me, in defiance of every obstacle, and in contempt of my + prohibition?” + </p> + <p> + “Good heavens,” cried he, amazed, “whence this reproach? Did you not + permit me to wait upon you with the result of my enquiries? Had I not your + consent—but why do you look thus disturbed?—Your eyes are red,—you + have been weeping.—Oh my Cecilia! have I any share in your sorrow?—Those + tears, which never flow weakly, tell me, have they—has <i>one</i> of + them been shed upon my account?” + </p> + <p> + “And what,” cried she, “has been the result of your enquiries?—Speak + quick, for I wish to know,—and in another instant I must be gone.” + </p> + <p> + “How strange,” cried the astonished Delvile, “is this language! how + strange are these looks! What new has come to pass? Has any fresh calamity + happened? Is there yet some evil which I do not expect?” + </p> + <p> + “Why will you not answer first?” cried she; “when <i>I</i> have spoken, + you will perhaps be less willing.” + </p> + <p> + “You terrify, you shock, you amaze me! What dreadful blow awaits me? For + what horror are you preparing me?—That which I have just + experienced, and which tore you from me even at the foot of the altar, + still remains inexplicable, still continues to be involved in darkness and + mystery; for the wretch who separated us I have never been able to + discover.” + </p> + <p> + “Have you procured, then, no intelligence?” + </p> + <p> + “No, none; though since we parted I have never rested a moment.” + </p> + <p> + “Make, then, no further enquiry, for now all explanation would be useless. + That we <i>were</i> parted, we know, though <i>why</i> we cannot tell: but + that again we shall ever meet—-” + </p> + <p> + She, stopt; her streaming eyes cast upwards, and a deep sigh bursting from + her heart. + </p> + <p> + “Oh what,” cried Delvile, endeavouring to take her hand, which she hastily + withdrew from him, “what does this mean? loveliest, dearest Cecilia, my + betrothed, my affianced wife! why flow those tears which agony only can + wring from you? Why refuse me that hand which so lately was the pledge of + your faith? Am I not the same Delvile to whom so few days since you gave + it? Why will you not open to him your heart? Why thus distrust his honour, + and repulse his tenderness? Oh why, giving him such exquisite misery, + refuse him the smallest consolation?” + </p> + <p> + “What consolation,” cried the weeping Cecilia, “can I give? Alas! it is + not, perhaps, <i>you</i> who most want it!—” + </p> + <p> + Here the door was opened by one of the Miss Charltons, who came into the + room with a message from her grandmother, requesting to see Cecilia. + Cecilia, ashamed of being thus surprised with Delvile, and in tears, + waited not either to make any excuse to him, or any answer to Miss + Charlton, but instantly hurried out of the room;—not, however, to + her old friend, whom now less than ever she could meet, but to her own + apartment, where a very short indulgence of grief was succeeded by the + severest examination of her own conduct. + </p> + <p> + A retrospection of this sort rarely brings much subject of exultation, + when made with the rigid sincerity of secret impartiality: so much + stronger is our reason than our virtue, so much higher our sense of duty + than our performance! + </p> + <p> + All she had done she now repented, all she had said she disapproved; her + conduct, seldom equal to her notions of right, was now infinitely below + them, and the reproaches of her judgment made her forget for a while the + afflictions which had misled it. + </p> + <p> + The sorrow to which she had openly given way in the presence of Delvile, + though their total separation but the moment before had been finally + decreed, she considered as a weak effusion of tenderness, injurious to + delicacy, and censurable by propriety. “His power over my heart,” cried + she, “it were now, indeed, too late to conceal, but his power over my + understanding it is time to cancel. I am not to be his,—my own voice + has ratified the renunciation, and since I made it to his mother, it must + never, without her consent, be invalidated. Honour, therefore, to her, and + regard for myself, equally command me to fly him, till I cease to be thus + affected by his sight.” + </p> + <p> + When Delvile, therefore, sent up an entreaty that he might be again + admitted into her presence, she returned for answer that she was not well, + and could not see any body. + </p> + <p> + He then left the house, and, in a few minutes, she received the following + note from him. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Beverley</i>. You drive me from you, Cecilia, tortured with + suspense, and distracted with apprehension, you drive me from you, certain + of my misery, yet leaving me to bear it as I may! I would call you + unfeeling, but that I saw you were unhappy; I would reproach you with + tyranny, but that your eyes when you quitted me were swollen with weeping! + I go, therefore, I obey the harsh mandate, since my absence is your + desire, and I will shut myself up at Biddulph's till I receive your + commands. Yet disdain not to reflect that every instant will seem endless, + while Cecilia must appear to me unjust, or wound my very soul by the + recollection of her in sorrow. MORTIMER DELVILE. + </p> + <p> + The mixture of fondness and resentment with which this letter was + dictated, marked so strongly the sufferings and disordered state of the + writer, that all the softness of Cecilia returned when she perused it, and + left her not a wish but to lessen his inquietude, by assurances of + unalterable regard: yet she determined not to trust herself in his sight, + certain they could only meet to grieve over each other, and conscious that + a participation of sorrow would but prove a reciprocation of tenderness. + Calling, therefore, upon her duty to resist her inclination, she resolved + to commit the whole affair to the will of Mrs Delvile, to whom, though + under no promise, she now considered herself responsible. Desirous, + however, to shorten the period of Delvile's uncertainty, she would not + wait till the time she had appointed to see his mother, but wrote the + following note to hasten their meeting. + </p> + <p> + <i>To the Hon. Mrs Delvile</i>. MADAM,—Your son is now at Bury; + shall I acquaint him of your arrival? or will you announce it yourself? + Inform me of your desire, and I will endeavour to fulfil it. As my own + Agent I regard myself no longer; if, as yours, I can give pleasure, or be + of service, I shall gladly receive your commands. I have the honour to be, + Madam, your most obedient servant, CECILIA BEVERLEY. + </p> + <p> + When she had sent off this letter, her heart was more at ease, because + reconciled with her conscience: she had sacrificed the son, she had + resigned herself to the mother; it now only remained to heal her wounded + pride, by suffering the sacrifice with dignity, and to recover her + tranquility in virtue, by making the resignation without repining. + </p> + <p> + Her reflections, too, growing clearer as the mist of passion was + dispersed, she recollected with confusion her cold and sullen behaviour to + Mrs Delvile. That lady had but done what she had believed was her duty, + and that duty was no more than she had been taught to expect from her. In + the beginning of her visit, and while doubtful of its success, she had + indeed, been austere, but the moment victory appeared in view, she became + tender, affectionate and gentle. Her justice, therefore, condemned the + resentment to which she had given way, and she fortified her mind for the + interview which was to follow, by an earnest desire to make all reparation + both to Mrs Delvile and herself for that which was past. + </p> + <p> + In this resolution she was not a little strengthened, by seriously + considering with herself the great abatement to all her possible + happiness, which must have been made by the humiliating circumstance of + forcing herself into a family which held all connection with her as + disgraceful. She desired not to be the wife even of Delvile upon such + terms, for the more she esteemed and admired him, the more anxious she + became for his honour, and the less could she endure being regarded + herself as the occasion of its diminution. + </p> + <p> + Now, therefore, her plan of conduct settled, with calmer spirits, though a + heavy heart, she attended upon Mrs Charlton; but fearing to lose the + steadiness she had just acquired before it should be called upon, if she + trusted herself to relate the decision which had been made, she besought + her for the present to dispense with the account, and then forced herself + into conversation upon less interesting subjects. + </p> + <p> + This prudence had its proper effect, and with tolerable tranquility she + heard Mrs Delvile again announced, and waited upon her in the parlour with + an air of composure. + </p> + <p> + Not so did Mrs Delvile receive her; she was all eagerness and emotion; she + flew to her the moment she appeared, and throwing her arms around her, + warmly exclaimed “Oh charming girl! Saver of our family! preserver of our + honour! How poor are words to express my admiration! how inadequate are + thanks in return for such obligations as I owe you!” + </p> + <p> + “You owe me none, madam,” said Cecilia, suppressing a sigh; “on my side + will be all the obligation, if you can pardon the petulance of my + behaviour this morning.” + </p> + <p> + “Call not by so harsh a name,” answered Mrs Delvile, “the keenness of a + sensibility by which you have yourself alone been the sufferer. You have + had a trial the most severe, and however able to sustain, it was + impossible you should not feel it. That you should give up any man whose + friends solicit not your alliance, your mind is too delicate to make + wonderful; but your generosity in submitting, unasked, the arrangement of + that resignation to those for whose interest it is made, and your high + sense of honour in holding yourself accountable to me, though under no + tie, and bound by no promise, mark a greatness of mind which calls for + reverence rather than thanks, and which I never can praise half so much as + I admire.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who received this applause but as a confirmation of her + rejection, thanked her only by courtsying; and Mrs Delvile, having seated + herself next her, continued her speech. + </p> + <p> + “My son, you have the goodness to tell me, is here,—have you seen + him?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, madam,” answered she, blushing, “but hardly for a moment.” + </p> + <p> + “And he knows not of my arrival?” No,—I believe he certainly does + not.” + </p> + <p> + “Sad then, is the trial which awaits him, and heavy for me the office I + must perform! Do you expect to see him again?” + </p> + <p> + “No,—yes,—perhaps—indeed I hardly—” She stammered, + and Mrs Delvile, taking her hand, said “Tell me, Miss Beverley, <i>why</i> + should you see him again?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia was thunderstruck by this question, and, colouring yet more + deeply, looked down, but could not answer. + </p> + <p> + “Consider,” continued Mrs Delvile, “the <i>purpose</i> of any further + meeting; your union is impossible, you have nobly consented to relinquish + all thoughts of it why then tear your own heart, and torture his, by an + intercourse which seems nothing but an ill-judged invitation to fruitless + and unavailing sorrow?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia was still silent; the truth of the expostulation her reason + acknowledged, but to assent to its consequence her whole heart refused. + </p> + <p> + “The ungenerous triumph of little female vanity,” said Mrs Delvile, “is + far, I am sure, from your mind, of which the enlargement and liberality + will rather find consolation from lessening than from embittering his + sufferings. Speak to me, then, and tell me honestly, judiciously, candidly + tell me, will it not be wiser and more right, to avoid rather than seek an + object which can only give birth to regret? an interview which can excite + no sensations but of misery and sadness?” Cecilia then turned pale, she + endeavoured to speak, but could not; she wished to comply,—yet to + think she had seen him for the last time, to remember how abruptly she had + parted from him, and to fear she had treated him unkindly;—these + were obstacles which opposed her concurrence, though both judgment and + propriety demanded it. + </p> + <p> + “Can you, then,” said Mrs Delvile, after a pause, “can you wish to see + Mortimer merely to behold his grief? Can you desire he should see you, + only to sharpen his affliction at your loss?” + </p> + <p> + “O no!” cried Cecilia, to whom this reproof restored speech and + resolution, “I am not so despicable, I am not, I hope, so unworthy!—I + will—be ruled by you wholly; I will commit to you every thing;—yet + <i>once</i>, perhaps,—no more!”— + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my dear Miss Beverley! to meet confessedly for <i>once</i>,—what + were that but planting a dagger in the heart of Mortimer? What were it but + infusing poison into your own? + </p> + <p> + “If you think so, madam,” said she, “I had better—I will certainly—” + she sighed, stammered, and stopt. + </p> + <p> + “Hear me,” cried Mrs Delvile, “and rather let me try to convince than + persuade you. Were there any possibility, by argument, by reflection, or + even by accident, to remove the obstacles to our connection, then would it + be well to meet, for then might discussion turn to account, and an + interchange of sentiments be productive of some happy expedients: but here—” + </p> + <p> + She hesitated, and Cecilia, shocked and ashamed, turned away her face, and + cried “I know, madam, what you would say,—here all is over! and + therefore—” + </p> + <p> + “Yet suffer me,” interrupted she, “to be explicit, since we speak upon, + this matter now for the last time. Here, then, I say, where not ONE doubt + remains, where ALL is finally, though not happily decided, what can an + interview produce? Mischief of every sort, pain, horror, and repining! To + Mortimer you may think it would be kind, and grant it to his prayers, as + an alleviation of his misery; mistaken notion! nothing could so greatly + augment it. All his passions would be raised, all his prudence would be + extinguished, his soul would be torn with resentment and regret, and + force, only, would part him from you, when previously he knew that parting + was to be eternal. To yourself—” + </p> + <p> + “Talk not, madam, of me,” cried the unhappy Cecilia, “what you say of your + son is sufficient, and I will yield—-” + </p> + <p> + “Yet hear me,” proceeded she, “and believe me not so unjust as to consider + him alone; you, also, would be an equal, though a less stormy sufferer. + You fancy, at this moment, that once more to meet him would soothe your + uneasiness, and that to take of him a farewell, would soften the pain of + the separation: how false such reasoning! how dangerous such consolation! + acquainted ere you meet that you were to meet him no more, your heart + would be all softness and grief, and at the very moment when tenderness + should be banished from your intercourse, it would bear down all + opposition of judgment, spirit, and dignity: you would hang upon every + word, because every word would seem the last, every look, every expression + would be rivetted in your memory, and his image in this parting distress + would-be painted upon your mind, in colours that would eat into its peace, + and perhaps never be erased.” + </p> + <p> + “Enough, enough,” said Cecilia, “I will not see him,—I will not even + desire it!” + </p> + <p> + “Is this compliance or conviction? Is what I have said true, or only + terrifying?” + </p> + <p> + “Both, both! I believe, indeed, the conflict would have overpowered me,—I + see you are right,—and I thank you, madam, for saving me from a + scene I might so cruelly have rued.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh Daughter of my mind!” cried Mrs Delvile, rising and embracing her, + “noble, generous, yet gentle Cecilia! what tie, what connection, could + make you more dear to me? Who is there like you? Who half so excellent? So + open to reason, so ingenuous in error! so rational! so just! so feeling, + yet so wise!” + </p> + <p> + “You are very good,” said Cecilia, with a forced serenity, “and I am + thankful that your resentment for the past obstructs not your lenity for + the present.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, my love, how shall I resent the past, when I ought myself to have + foreseen this calamity! and I <i>should</i> have foreseen it, had I not + been informed you were engaged, and upon your engagement built our + security. Else had I been more alarmed, for my own admiration would have + bid me look forward to my son's. You were just, indeed, the woman he had + least chance to resist, you were precisely the character to seize his very + soul. To a softness the most fatally alluring, you join a dignity which + rescues from their own contempt even the most humble of your admirers. You + seem born to have all the world wish your exaltation, and no part of it + murmur at your superiority. Were any obstacle but this insuperable one in + the way, should nobles, nay, should princes offer their daughters to my + election, I would reject without murmuring the most magnificent proposals, + and take in triumph to my heart my son's nobler choice!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh madam,” cried Cecilia, “talk not to me thus!—speak not such + flattering words!—ah, rather scorn and upbraid me, tell me you + despise my character, my family and my connections,—load, load me + with contempt, but do not thus torture me with approbation!” + </p> + <p> + “Pardon me, sweetest girl, if I have awakened those emotions you so wisely + seek to subdue. May my son but emulate your example, and my pride in his + virtue shall be the solace of my affliction for his misfortunes.” + </p> + <p> + She then tenderly embraced her, and abruptly took her leave. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia had now acted her part, and acted it to her own satisfaction; but + the curtain dropt when Mrs Delvile left the house, nature resumed her + rights, and the sorrow of her heart was no longer disguised or repressed. + Some faint ray of hope had till now broke through the gloomiest cloud of + her misery, and secretly flattered her that its dispersion was possible, + though distant: but that ray was extinct, that hope was no more; she had + solemnly promised to banish Delvile her sight, and his mother had + absolutely declared that even the subject had been discussed for the last + time. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Charlton, impatient of some explanation of the morning's transactions, + soon sent again to beg Cecilia would come to her. Cecilia reluctantly + obeyed, for she feared encreasing her indisposition by the intelligence + she had to communicate; she struggled, therefore, to appear to her with + tolerable calmness, and in briefly relating what had passed, forbore to + mingle with the narrative her own feelings and unhappiness. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Charlton heard the account with the utmost concern; she accused Mrs + Delvile of severity, and even of cruelty; she lamented the strange + accident by which the marriage ceremony had been stopt, and regretted that + it had not again been begun, as the only means to have rendered + ineffectual the present fatal interposition. But the grief of Cecilia, + however violent, induced her not to join in this regret; she mourned only + the obstacle which had occasioned the separation, and not the incident + which had merely interrupted the ceremony: convinced, by the conversations + in which she had just been engaged, of Mrs Delvile's inflexibility, she + rather rejoiced than repined that she had put it to no nearer trial: + sorrow was all she felt; for her mind was too liberal to harbour + resentment against a conduct which she saw was dictated by a sense of + right; and too ductile and too affectionate to remain unmoved by the + personal kindness which had softened the rejection, and the many marks of + esteem and regard which had shewn her it was lamented, though considered + as indispensable. + </p> + <p> + How and by whom this affair had been betrayed to Mrs Delvile she knew not; + but the discovery was nothing less than surprising, since, by various + unfortunate accidents, it was known to so many, and since, in the horror + and confusion of the mysterious prohibition to the marriage, neither + Delvile nor herself had thought of even attempting to give any caution to + the witnesses of that scene, not to make it known: an attempt, however, + which must almost necessarily have been unavailing, as the incident was + too extraordinary and too singular to have any chance of suppression. + </p> + <p> + During this conversation, one of the servants came to inform Cecilia, that + a man was below to enquire if there was no answer to the note he had + brought in the forenoon. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, greatly distressed, knew not upon what to resolve; that the + patience of Delvile should be exhausted, she did not, indeed, wonder, and + to relieve his anxiety was now almost her only wish; she would therefore + instantly have written to him, confessed her sympathy in his sufferings, + and besought him to endure with fortitude an evil which was no longer to + be withstood: but she was uncertain whether he was yet acquainted with the + journey of his mother to Bury, and having agreed to commit to her the + whole management of the affair, she feared it would be dishonourable to + take any step in it without her concurrence. She returned, therefore, a + message that she had yet no answer ready. + </p> + <p> + In a very few minutes Delvile called himself, and sent up an earnest + request for permission to see her. + </p> + <p> + Here, at least, she had no perplexity; an interview she had given her + positive word to refuse, and therefore, without a moment's hesitation, she + bid the servant inform him she was particularly engaged, and sorry it was + not in her power to see any company. + </p> + <p> + In the greatest perturbation he left the house, and immediately wrote to + her the following lines. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Beverley</i>. I entreat you to see me! if only for an instant, + I entreat, I implore you to see me! Mrs Charlton may be present, all the + world, if you wish it, may be present,—but deny me not admission, I + supplicate, I conjure you! + </p> + <p> + I will call in an hour; in that time you may have finished your present + engagement. I will otherwise wait longer, and call again. You will not, I + think, turn me from' your door, and, till I have seen you, I can only live + in its vicinity. M. D. + </p> + <p> + The man who brought this note, waited not for any answer. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia read it in an agony of mind inexpressible: she saw, by its style, + how much Delvile was irritated, and her knowledge of his temper made her + certain his irritation proceeded from believing himself ill-used. She + ardently wished to appease and to quiet him, and regretted the necessity + of appearing obdurate and unfeeling, even more, at that moment, than the + separation itself. To a mind priding in its purity, and animated in its + affections, few sensations can excite keener misery, than those by which + an apprehension is raised of being thought worthless or ungrateful by the + objects of our chosen regard. To be deprived of their society is less + bitter, to be robbed of our own tranquillity by any other means, is less + afflicting. + </p> + <p> + Yet to this it was necessary to submit, or incur the only penalty which, + to such a mind, would be more severe, self-reproach: she had promised to + be governed by Mrs Delvile, she had nothing, therefore, to do but obey + her. + </p> + <p> + Yet <i>to turn</i>, as he expressed himself, <i>from the door</i>, a man + who, but for an incident the most incomprehensible, would now have been + sole master of herself and her actions, seemed so unkind and so + tyrannical, that she could not endure to be within hearing of his repulse: + she begged, therefore, the use of Mrs Charlton's carriage, and determined + to make a visit to Mrs Harrel till Delvile and his mother had wholly + quitted Bury. She was not, indeed, quite satisfied in going to the house + of Mr Arnott, but she had no time to weigh objections, and knew not any + other place to which still greater might not be started. + </p> + <p> + She wrote a short letter to Mrs Delvile, acquainting her with her purpose, + and its reason, and repeating her assurances that she would be guided by + her implicitly; and then, embracing Mrs Charlton, whom she left to the + care of her grand-daughters, she got into a chaise, accompanied only by + her maid, and one man and horse, and ordered the postilion to drive to Mr + Arnott's. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER v. — A COTTAGE. + </h2> + <p> + The evening was already far advanced, and before she arrived at the end of + her little journey it was quite dark. When they came within a mile of Mr + Arnott's house, the postilion, in turning too suddenly from the turnpike + to the cross-road, overset the carriage. The accident, however, occasioned + no other mischief than delaying their proceeding, and Cecilia and her maid + were helped out of the chaise unhurt. The servants, assisted by a man who + was walking upon the road, began lifting it up; and Cecilia, too busy + within to be attentive to what passed without, disregarded what went + forward, till she heard her footman call for help. She then hastily + advanced to enquire what was the matter, and found that the passenger who + had lent his aid, had, by working in the dark, unfortunately slipped his + foot under one of the wheels, and so much hurt it, that without great pain + he could not put it to the ground. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia immediately desired that the sufferer might be carried to his own + home in the chaise, while she and the maid walked on to Mr Arnott's, + attended by her servant on horseback. + </p> + <p> + This little incident proved of singular service to her upon first entering + the house; Mrs Harrel was at supper with her brother, and hearing the + voice of Cecilia in the hall, hastened with the extremest surprise to + enquire what had occasioned so late a visit; followed by Mr Arnott, whose + amazement was accompanied with a thousand other sensations too powerful + for speech. Cecilia, unprepared with any excuse, instantly related the + adventure she had met with on the road, which quieted their curiosity, by + turning their attention to her personal safety. They ordered a room to be + prepared for her, entreated her to go to rest with all speed, and postpone + any further account till the next day. With this request she most gladly + complied, happy to be spared the embarrassment of enquiry, and rejoiced to + be relieved from the fatigue of conversation. Her night was restless and + miserable: to know how Delvile would bear her flight was never a moment + from her thoughts, and to hear whether he would obey or oppose his mother + was her incessant wish. She was fixt, however, to be faithful in refusing + to see him, and at least to suffer nothing new from her own enterprize or + fault. + </p> + <p> + Early in the morning Mrs Harrel came to see her. She was eager to learn + why, after invitations repeatedly refused, she was thus suddenly arrived + without any; and she was still more eager to talk of herself, and relate + the weary life she led thus shut up in the country, and confined to the + society of her brother. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia evaded giving any immediate answer to her questions, and Mrs + Harrel, happy in an opportunity to rehearse her own complaints, soon + forgot that she had asked any, and, in a very short time, was perfectly, + though imperceptibly, contented to be herself the only subject upon which + they conversed. + </p> + <p> + But not such was the selfishness of Mr Arnott; and Cecilia, when she went + down to breakfast, perceived with the utmost concern that he had passed a + night as sleepless as her own. A visit so sudden, so unexpected, and so + unaccountable, from an object that no discouragement could make him think + of with indifference, had been a subject to him of conjecture and wonder + that had revived all the hopes and the fears which had lately, though + still unextinguished, lain dormant. The enquiries, however, which his + sister had given up, he ventured not to renew, and thought himself but too + happy in her presence, whatever might be the cause of her visit. + </p> + <p> + He perceived, however, immediately, the sadness that hung upon her mind, + and his own was redoubled by the sight: Mrs Harrel, also, saw that she + looked ill, but attributed it to the fatigue and fright of the preceding + evening, well knowing that a similar accident would have made her ill + herself, or fancy that she was so. + </p> + <p> + During breakfast, Cecilia sent for the postilion, to enquire of him how + the man had fared, whose good-natured assistance in their distress had + been so unfortunate to himself. He answered that he had turned out to be a + day labourer, who lived about half a mile off. And then, partly to gratify + her own humanity, and partly to find any other employment for herself and + friends than uninteresting conversation, she proposed that they should all + walk to the poor man's habitation, and offer him some amends for the + injury he had received. This was readily assented to, and the postilion + directed them whither to go. The place was a cottage, situated upon a + common; they entered it without ceremony, and found a clean looking woman + at work. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia enquired for her husband, and was told that he was gone out to + day-labour. + </p> + <p> + “I am very glad to hear it,” returned she; “I hope then he has got the + better of the accident he met with last night?” + </p> + <p> + “It was not him, madam,” said the woman, “met with the accident, it was + John;—there he is, working in the garden.” + </p> + <p> + To the garden then they all went, and saw him upon the ground, weeding. + </p> + <p> + The moment they approached he arose, and, without speaking, began to limp, + for he could hardly walk; away. + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry, master,” said Cecilia, “that you are so much hurt. Have you + had anything put to your foot?” + </p> + <p> + The man made no answer, but still turned away from her; a glance, however, + of his eye, which the next instant he fixed upon the ground, startled her; + she moved round to look at him again,—and perceived Mr Belfield! + </p> + <p> + “Good God!” she exclaimed; but seeing him still retreat, she recollected + in a moment how little he would be obliged to her for betraying him, and + suffering him to go on, turned back to her party, and led the way again + into the house. + </p> + <p> + As soon as the first emotion of her surprise was over, she enquired how + long John had belonged to this cottage, and what was his way of life. + </p> + <p> + The woman answered he had only been with them a week, and that he went out + to day-labour with her husband. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then, finding their stay kept him from his employment, and willing + to save him the distress of being seen by Mr Arnott or Mrs Harrel, + proposed their returning home. She grieved most sincerely at beholding in + so melancholy an occupation a young man of such talents and abilities; she + wished much to assist him, and began considering by what means it might be + done, when, as they were walking from the cottage, a voice at some + distance called out “Madam! Miss Beverley!” and, looking round, to her + utter amazement she saw Belfield endeavouring to follow her. + </p> + <p> + She instantly stopt, and he advanced, his hat in his hand, and his whole + air indicating he sought not to be disguised. + </p> + <p> + Surprised at this sudden change of behaviour, she then stept forward to + meet him, accompanied by her friends: but when they came up to each other, + she checked her desire of speaking, to leave him fully at liberty to make + himself known, or keep concealed. + </p> + <p> + He bowed with a look of assumed gaiety and ease, but the deep scarlet that + tinged his whole face manifested his internal confusion; and in a voice + that attempted to sound lively, though its tremulous accents betrayed + uneasiness and distress, he exclaimed, with a forced smile, “Is it + possible Miss Beverley can deign to notice a poor miserable day-labourer + such as I am? how will she be justified in the beau monde, when even the + sight of such a wretch ought to fill her with horror? Henceforth let + hysterics be blown to the winds, and let nerves be discarded from the + female vocabulary, since a lady so young and fair can stand this shock + without hartshorn or fainting!” + </p> + <p> + “I am happy,” answered Cecilia, “to find your spirits so good; yet my own, + I must confess, are not raised by seeing you in this strange situation.” + </p> + <p> + “My spirits!” cried he, with an air of defiance, “never were they better, + never so good as at this moment. Strange as seems my situation, it is all + that I wish; I have found out, at last, the true secret of happiness! that + secret which so long I pursued in vain, but which always eluded my grasp, + till the instant of despair arrived, when, slackening my pace, I gave it + up as a phantom. Go from me, I cried, I will be cheated no more! thou airy + bubble! thou fleeting shadow! I will live no longer in thy sight, since + thy beams dazzle without warming me! Mankind seems only composed as matter + for thy experiments, and I will quit the whole race, that thy delusions + may be presented to me no more!” + </p> + <p> + This romantic flight, which startled even Cecilia, though acquainted with + his character, gave to Mrs Harrel and Mr Arnott the utmost surprize; his + appearance, and the account they had just heard of him, having by no means + prepared them for such sentiments or such language. + </p> + <p> + “Is then this great secret of happiness,” said Cecilia, “nothing, at last, + but total seclusion from the world?” + </p> + <p> + “No, madam,” answered he, “it is Labour with Independence.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia now wished much to ask some explanation of his affairs, but was + doubtful whether he would gratify her before Mrs Harrel and Mr Arnott, and + hurt to keep him standing, though he leant upon a stick; she told him, + therefore, she would at present detain him no longer, but endeavour again + to see him before she quitted her friends. + </p> + <p> + Mr Arnott then interfered, and desired his sister would entreat Miss + Beverley to invite whom she pleased to his house. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia thanked him, and instantly asked Belfield to call upon her in the + afternoon. + </p> + <p> + “No, madam, no,” cried he, “I have done with visits and society! I will + not so soon break through a system with much difficulty formed, when all + my future tranquility depends upon adhering to it. The worthlessness of + mankind has disgusted me with the world, and my resolution in quitting it + shall be immoveable as its baseness.” + </p> + <p> + “I must not venture then,” said Cecilia, “to enquire—” + </p> + <p> + “Enquire, madam,” interrupted he, with quickness, “what you please: there + is nothing I will not answer to you,—to this lady, to this + gentleman, to any and to every body. What can I wish to conceal, where I + have nothing to gain or to lose? When first, indeed, I saw you, I + involuntarily shrunk; a weak shame for a moment seized me, I felt fallen + and debased, and I wished to avoid you: but a little recollection brought + me back to my senses, And where, cried I, is the disgrace of exercising + for my subsistence the strength with which I am endued? and why should I + blush to lead the life which uncorrupted Nature first prescribed to man?” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then,” said Cecilia, more and more interested to hear him, “if you + will not visit us, will you at least permit us to return with you to some + place where you can be seated?” + </p> + <p> + “I will with pleasure,” cried he, “go to any place where you may be seated + yourselves; but for me, I have ceased to regard accommodation or + inconvenience.” + </p> + <p> + They then all went back to the cottage, which was now empty, the woman + being out at work. + </p> + <p> + “Will you then, Sir,” said Cecilia, “give me leave to enquire whether Lord + Vannelt is acquainted with your retirement, and if it will not much + surprize and disappoint him?” + </p> + <p> + “Lord Vannelt,” cried he, haughtily, “has no right to be surprised. I + would have quitted <i>his</i> house, if no other, not even this cottage, + had a roof to afford me shelter!” + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry, indeed, to hear it,” said Cecilia; “I had hoped he would have + known your value, and merited your regard.” + </p> + <p> + “Ill-usage,” answered he, “is as hard to relate as to be endured. There is + commonly something pitiful in a complaint; and though oppression in a + general sense provokes the wrath of mankind, the investigation of its + minuter circumstances excites nothing but derision. Those who give the + offence, by the worthy few may be hated; but those who receive it, by the + world at large will be despised. Conscious of this, I disdained making any + appeal; myself the only sufferer, I had a right to be the only judge, and, + shaking off the base trammels of interest and subjection, I quitted the + house in silent indignation, not chusing to remonstrate, where I desired + not to be reconciled.” + </p> + <p> + “And was there no mode of life,” said Cecilia, “to adopt, but living with + Lord Vannelt, or giving up the whole world?” + </p> + <p> + “I weighed every thing maturely,” answered he, “before I made my + determination, and I found it so much, the most eligible, that I am + certain I can never repent it. I had friends who would with pleasure have + presented me to some other nobleman; but my whole heart revolted against + leading that kind of life, and I would not, therefore, idly rove from one + great man to another, adding ill-will to disgrace, and pursuing hope in + defiance of common sense; no; when I quitted Lord Vannelt, I resolved to + give up patronage for ever. + </p> + <p> + “I retired to private lodgings to deliberate what next could be done. I + had lived in many ways, I had been unfortunate or imprudent in all. The + law I had tried, but its rudiments were tedious and disgusting; the army, + too, but there found my mind more fatigued with indolence, than my body + with action; general dissipation had then its turn, but the expence to + which it led was ruinous, and self-reproach baffled pleasure while I + pursued it; I have even—yes, there are few things I have left + untried,—I have even,—for why now disguise it?—” + </p> + <p> + He stopt and coloured, but in a quicker voice presently proceeded. + </p> + <p> + “Trade, also, has had its share in my experiments; for that, in truth, I + was originally destined,—but my education had ill suited me to such + a destination, and the trader's first maxim I reversed, in lavishing when + I ought to have accumulated. + </p> + <p> + “What, then, remained for me? to run over again the same irksome round I + had not patience, and to attempt any thing new I was unqualified: money I + had none; my friends I could bear to burthen no longer; a fortnight I + lingered in wretched irresolution,—a simple accident at the end of + it happily settled me; I was walking, one morning, in Hyde Park, forming a + thousand plans for my future life, but quarrelling with them all; when a + gentleman met me on horseback, from whom, at my Lord Vannelt's, I had + received particular civilities; I looked another way not to be seen by + him, and the change in my dress since I left his Lordship's made me easily + pass unnoticed. He had rode on, however, but a few yards, before, by some + accident or mismanagement, he had a fall from his horse. Forgetting all my + caution, I flew instantly to his assistance; he was bruised, but not + otherwise hurt; I helpt him up, and he leant 'pon my arm; in my haste of + enquiring how he had fared, I called him by his name. He knew me, but + looked surprised at my appearance; he was speaking to me, however, with + kindness, when seeing some gentlemen of his acquaintance gallopping up to + him, he hastily disengaged himself from me, and instantly beginning to + recount to them what had happened, he sedulously looked another way, and + joining his new companions, walked off without taking further notice of + me. For a moment I was almost tempted to trouble him to come back; but a + little recollection told me how ill he deserved my resentment, and bid me + transfer it for the future from the pitiful individual to the worthless + community. + </p> + <p> + “Here finished my deliberation; the disgust to the world which I had + already conceived, this little incident confirmed; I saw it was only made + for the great and the rich;—poor, therefore, and low, what had I to + do in it? I determined to quit it for ever, and to end every + disappointment, by crushing every hope. + </p> + <p> + “I wrote to Lord Vannelt to send my trunks to my mother; I wrote to my + mother that I was well, and would soon let her hear more: I then paid off + my lodgings, and 'shaking the dust from my feet,' bid a long adieu to + London; and, committing my route to chance, strole on into the country, + without knowing or caring which way. + </p> + <p> + “My first thought was simply to seek retirement, and to depend for my + future repose upon nothing but a total seclusion from society: but my slow + method of travelling gave me time for reflection, and reflection soon + showed me the error of this notion. + </p> + <p> + “Guilt, cried I, may, indeed, be avoided by solitude; but will misery? + will regret? will deep dejection of mind? no, they will follow more + assiduously than ever; for what is there to oppose them, where neither + business occupies the time, nor hope the imagination? where the past has + left nothing but resentment, and the future opens only to a dismal, + uninteresting void? No stranger to life, I knew human nature could not + exist on such terms; still less a stranger to books, I respected the voice + of wisdom and experience in the first of moralists, and most enlightened + of men, [Footnote: Dr Johnson.] and reading the letter of Cowley, I saw + the vanity and absurdity of <i>panting after solitude</i>. [Footnote: Life + of Cowley, p.34.] + </p> + <p> + “I sought not, therefore, a cell; but, since I purposed to live for + myself, I determined for myself also to think. Servility of imitation has + ever been as much my scorn as servility of dependence; I resolved, + therefore, to strike out something new, and no more to retire as every + other man had retired, than to linger in the world as every other man had + lingered. + </p> + <p> + “The result of all you now see. I found out this cottage, and took up my + abode in it. I am here out of the way of all society, yet avoid the great + evil of retreat, <i>having nothing to do</i>. I am constantly, not + capriciously employed, and the exercise which benefits my health, + imperceptibly raises my spirits in despight of adversity. I am removed + from all temptation, I have scarce even the power to do wrong; I have no + object for ambition, for repining I have no time:—I have, found out, + I repeat, the true secret of happiness, Labour with Independence.” + </p> + <p> + He stopt; and Cecilia, who had listened to this narrative with a mixture + of compassion, admiration and censure, was too much struck with its + singularity to be readily able to answer it. Her curiosity to hear him had + sprung wholly from her desire to assist him, and she had expected from his + story to gather some hint upon which her services might be offered. But + none had occurred; he professed himself fully satisfied with his + situation; and though reason and probability contradicted the profession, + she could not venture to dispute it with any delicacy or prudence. + </p> + <p> + She thanked him, therefore, for his relation, with many apologies for the + trouble she had given him, and added, “I must not express my concern for + misfortunes which you seem to regard as conducive to your contentment, nor + remonstrate at the step you have taken, since you have been led to it by + choice, not necessity: but yet, you must pardon me if I cannot help hoping + I shall some time see you happier, according to the common, however vulgar + ideas of the rest of the world.” + </p> + <p> + “No, never, never! I am sick of mankind, not from theory, but experience; + and the precautions I have taken against mental fatigue, will secure me + from repentance, or any desire of change; for it is not the active, but + the indolent who weary; it is not the temperate, but the pampered who are + capricious.” + </p> + <p> + “Is your sister, Sir, acquainted with this change in your fortune and + opinions?” + </p> + <p> + “Poor girl, no! She and her unhappy mother have borne but too long with my + enterprizes and misfortunes. Even yet they would sacrifice whatever they + possess to enable me to play once more the game so often lost; but I will + not abuse their affection, nor suffer them again to be slaves to my + caprices, nor dupes to their own delusive expectations. I have sent them + word I am happy; I have not yet told them how or where. I fear much the + affliction of their disappointment, and, for a while, shall conceal from + them my situation, which they would fancy was disgraceful, and grieve at + as cruel.” + </p> + <p> + “And is it not cruel?” said Cecilia, “is labour indeed so sweet? and can + you seriously derive happiness from what all others consider as misery?” + </p> + <p> + “Not sweet,” answered he, “in itself; but sweet, most sweet and salutary + in its effects. When I work, I forget all the world; my projects for the + future, my disappointments from the past. Mental fatigue is overpowered by + personal; I toil till I require rest, and that rest which nature, not + luxury demands, leads not to idle meditation, but to sound, heavy, + necessary sleep. I awake the next morning to the same thought-exiling + business, work again till my powers are exhausted, and am relieved again + at night by the same health-recruiting insensibility.” + </p> + <p> + “And if this,” cried Cecilia, “is the life of happiness, why have we so + many complaints of the sufferings of the poor, and why so eternally do we + hear of their hardships and distress?” + </p> + <p> + “They have known no other life. They are strangers, therefore, to the + felicity of their lot. Had they mingled in the world, fed high their fancy + with hope, and looked forward with expectation of enjoyment; had they been + courted by the great, and offered with profusion adulation for their + abilities, yet, even when starving, been offered nothing else!—had + they seen an attentive circle wait all its entertainment from their + powers, yet found themselves forgotten as soon as out of sight, and + perceived themselves avoided when no longer buffoons!—Oh had they + known and felt provocations such as these, how gladly would their + resentful spirits turn from the whole unfeeling race, and how would they + respect that noble and manly labour, which at once disentangles them from + such subjugating snares, and enables them to fly the ingratitude they + abhor! Without the contrast of vice, virtue unloved may be lovely; without + the experience of misery, happiness is simply a dull privation of evil.” + </p> + <p> + “And are you so content,” cried Cecilia, “with your present situation, as + even to think it offers you reparation for your past sufferings?” + </p> + <p> + “Content!” repeated he with energy, “O more than content, I am proud of my + present situation! I glory in chewing to the world, glory still more in + shewing to myself, that those whom I cannot but despise I will not scruple + to defy, and that where I have been treated unworthily, I will scorn to be + obliged.” + </p> + <p> + “But will you pardon me,” said Cecilia, “should I ask again, why in + quitting Lord Vannelt, you concluded no one else worthy a trial?” + </p> + <p> + “Because it was less my Lord Vannelt, madam, than my own situation, that + disgusted me: for though I liked not his behaviour, I found him a man too + generally esteemed to flatter myself better usage would await me in merely + changing my abode, while my station was the same. I believe, indeed, he + never meant to offend me; but I was offended the more that he should think + me an object to receive indignity without knowing it. To have had this + pointed out to him, would have been at once mortifying and vain; for + delicacy, like taste, can only partially be taught, and will always be + superficial and erring where it is not innate. Those wrongs, which though + too trifling to resent, are too humiliating to be borne, speech can convey + no idea of; the soul must feel, or the understanding can never comprehend + them.” + </p> + <p> + “But surely,” said Cecilia, “though people of refinement are rare, they + yet exist; why, then, remove yourself from the possibility of meeting with + them?” + </p> + <p> + “Must I run about the nation,” cried he, “proclaiming my distress, and + describing my temper? telling the world that though dependent I demand + respect as well as assistance; and publishing to mankind, that though poor + I will accept no gifts if offered with contumely? Who will listen to such + an account? who will care for my misfortunes, but as they may humble me to + his service? Who will hear my mortifications, but to say I deserve them? + what has the world to do with my feelings and peculiarities? I know it too + well to think calamity will soften it; I need no new lessons to instruct + me that to conquer affliction is more wise than to relate it.” + </p> + <p> + “Unfortunate as you have been,” said Cecilia, “I cannot wonder at your + asperity; but yet, it is surely no more than justice to acknowledge, that + hard-heartedness to distress is by no means the fault of the present + times: on the contrary, it is scarce sooner made known, than every one is + ready to contribute to its relief.” + </p> + <p> + “And how contribute?” cried he, “by a paltry donation of money? Yes, the + man whose only want is a few guineas, may, indeed, obtain them; but he who + asks kindness and protection, whose oppressed spirit calls for consolation + even more than his ruined fortune for repair, how is his struggling soul, + if superior to his fate, to brook the ostentation of patronage, and the + insolence of condescension? Yes, yes, the world will save the poor beggar + who is starving; but the fallen wretch, who will not cringe for his + support, may consume in his own wretchedness without pity and without + help!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia now saw that the wound his sensibility had received was too + painful for argument, and too recent immediately to be healed. She + forbore, therefore, to detain him any longer, but expressing her best + wishes, without venturing to hint at her services, she arose, and they all + took their leave;—Belfield hastening, as they went, to return to the + garden, where, looking over the hedge as they passed, they saw him + employed again in weeding, with the eagerness of a man who pursues his + favourite occupation. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia half forgot her own anxieties and sadness, in the concern which + she felt for this unfortunate and extraordinary young man. She wished much + to devise some means for drawing him from a life of such hardship and + obscurity; but what to a man thus “jealous in honour,” thus scrupulous in + delicacy, could she propose, without more risk of offence, than + probability of obliging? His account had, indeed, convinced her how much + he stood in need of assistance, but it had shewn her no less how + fastidious he would be in receiving it. + </p> + <p> + Nor was she wholly without fear that an earnest solicitude to serve him, + his youth, talents, and striking manners considered, might occasion even + in himself a misconstruction of her motives, such as she already had given + birth to in his forward and partial mother. + </p> + <p> + The present, therefore, all circumstances weighed, seemed no season for + her liberality, which she yet resolved to exert the first moment it was + unopposed by propriety. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER vi. — A CONTEST. + </h2> + <p> + The rest of the day was passed in discussing this adventure; but in the + evening, Cecilia's interest in it was all sunk, by the reception of the + following letter from Mrs Delvile. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Beverley</i>. + </p> + <p> + I grieve to interrupt the tranquillity of a retirement so judiciously + chosen, and I lament the necessity of again calling to trial the virtue of + which the exertion, though so captivating, is so painful; but alas, my + excellent young friend, we came not hither to enjoy, but to suffer; and + happy only are those whose sufferings have neither by folly been sought, + nor by guilt been merited, but arising merely from the imperfection of + humanity, have been resisted with fortitude, or endured with patience. + </p> + <p> + I am informed of your virtuous steadiness, which corresponds with my + expectations, while it excites my respect. All further conflict I had + hoped to have saved you; and to the triumph of your goodness I had trusted + for the recovery of your peace: but Mortimer has disappointed me, and our + work is still unfinished. + </p> + <p> + He avers that he is solemnly engaged to you, and in pleading to me his + honour, he silences both expostulation and authority. From your own words + alone will he acknowledge his dismission; and notwithstanding my + reluctance to impose upon you this task, I cannot silence or quiet him + without making the request. + </p> + <p> + For a purpose such as this, can you, then, admit us? Can you bear with + your own lips to confirm the irrevocable decision? You will feel, I am + sure, for the unfortunate Mortimer, and it was earnestly my desire to + spare you the sight of his affliction; yet such is my confidence in your + prudence, that since I find him bent upon seeing you, I am not without + hope, that from witnessing the greatness of your mind, the interview may + rather calm than inflame him. + </p> + <p> + This proposal you will take into consideration, and if you are able, upon + such terms, to again meet my son, we will wait upon you together, where + and when you will appoint; but if the gentleness of your nature will make + the effort too severe for you, scruple not to decline it, for Mortimer, + when he knows your pleasure, will submit to it as he ought. + </p> + <p> + Adieu, most amiable and but too lovely Cecilia; whatever you determine, be + sure of my concurrence, for nobly have you earned, and ever must you + retain, the esteem, the affection, and the gratitude of AUGUSTA DELVILE. + </p> + <p> + “Alas,” cried Cecilia, “when shall I be at rest? when cease to be + persecuted by new conflicts! Oh why must I so often, so cruelly, though so + reluctantly, reject and reprove the man who of all men I wish to accept + and to please!” + </p> + <p> + But yet, though repining at this hard necessity, she hesitated not a + moment in complying with Mrs Delvile's request, and immediately sent an + answer that she would meet her the next morning at Mrs Charlton's. + </p> + <p> + She then returned to the parlour, and apologized to Mrs Harrel and Mr + Arnott for the abruptness of her visit, and the suddenness of her + departure. Mr Arnott heard her in silent dejection; and Mrs Harrel used + all the persuasion in her power to prevail with her to stay, her presence + being some relief to her solitude: but finding it ineffectual, she + earnestly pressed her to hasten her entrance into her own house, that + their absence might be shortened, and their meeting more sprightly. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia passed the night in planning her behaviour for the next day; she + found how much was expected from her by Mrs Delvile, who had even exhorted + her to decline the interview if doubtful of her own strength. Delvile's + firmness in insisting the refusal should come directly from herself, + surprised, gratified and perplexed her in turn; she had imagined, that + from the moment of the discovery, he would implicitly have submitted to + the award of a parent at once so reverenced and so beloved, and how he had + summoned courage to contend with her she could not conjecture: yet that + courage and that contention astonished not more than they soothed her, + since, from her knowledge of his filial tenderness, she considered them as + the most indubitable proofs she had yet received of the fervour and + constancy of his regard for her. But would he, when she had ratified the + decision of his mother, forbear all further struggle, and for ever yield + up all pretensions to her? this was the point upon which her uncertainty + turned, and the ruling subject of her thoughts and meditation. + </p> + <p> + To be steady, however, herself, be his conduct what it might, was + invariably her intention, and was all her ambition: yet earnestly she + wished the meeting over, for she dreaded to see the sorrow of Delvile, and + she dreaded still more the susceptibility of her own heart. + </p> + <p> + The next morning, to her great concern, Mr Arnott was waiting in the hall + when she came down stairs, and so much grieved at her departure, that he + handed her to the chaise without being able to speak to her, and hardly + heard her thanks and compliments but by recollection after she was gone. + </p> + <p> + She arrived at Mrs Charlton's very early, and found her old friend in the + same state she had left her. She communicated to her the purpose of her + return, and begged she would keep her granddaughters up stairs, that the + conference in the parlour might be uninterrupted and unheard. + </p> + <p> + She then made a forced and hasty breakfast, and went down to be ready to + receive them. They came not till eleven o'clock, and the time of her + waiting was passed in agonies of expectation. + </p> + <p> + At length they were announced, and at length they entered the room. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, with her utmost efforts for courage, could hardly stand to + receive them. They came in together, but Mrs Delvile, advancing before her + son, and endeavouring so to stand as to intercept his view of her, with + the hope that in a few instants her emotion would be less visible, said, + in the most soothing accents, “What honour Miss Beverley does us by + permitting this visit! I should have been sorry to have left Suffolk + without the satisfaction of again seeing you; and my son, sensible of the + high respect he owes you, was most unwilling to be gone, before he had + paid you his devoirs.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia courtsied; but depressed by the cruel task which awaited her, had + no power to speak; and Mrs Delvile, finding she still trembled, made her + sit down, and drew a chair next to her. + </p> + <p> + Mean while Delvile, with an emotion far more violent, because wholly + unrestrained, waited impatiently till the ceremonial of the reception was + over, and then, approaching Cecilia, in a voice of perturbation and + resentment, said, “In this presence, at least, I hope I may be heard; + though my letters have been unanswered, my visits refused, though + inexorably you have flown me—” + </p> + <p> + “Mortimer,” interrupted Mrs Delvile, “forget not that what I have told you + is irrevocable; you now meet Miss Beverley for no other purpose than to + give and to receive a mutual release of all to or engagement with each + other.” + </p> + <p> + “Pardon me, madam,” cried he, “this is a condition to which I have never + assented. I come not to release, but to claim her! I am hers, and hers + wholly! I protest it in the face of the world! The time, therefore, is now + past for the sacrifice which you demand, since scarce are you more my + mother, than I consider her as my wife.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, amazed at this dauntless declaration, now almost lost her fear in + her surprise; while Mrs Delvile, with an air calm though displeased, + answered, “This is not a point to be at present discussed, and I had hoped + you knew better what was due to your auditors. I only consented to this + interview as a mark of your respect for Miss Beverley, to whom in + propriety it belongs to break off this unfortunate connexion.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who at this call could no longer be silent, now gathered + fortitude to say, “Whatever tie or obligation may be supposed to depend + upon me, I have already relinquished; and I am now ready to declare—” + </p> + <p> + “That you wholly give me up?” interrupted Delvile, “is that what you would + say?—Oh how have I offended you? how have I merited a displeasure + that can draw upon me such a sentence?—Answer, speak to me, Cecilia, + what is it I have done?” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing, Sir,” said Cecilia, confounded at this language in the presence + of his mother, “you have done nothing,—but yet—” + </p> + <p> + “Yet what?—have you conceived to me an aversion? has any dreadful + and horrible antipathy succeeded to your esteem?—tell, tell me + without disguise, do you hate, do you abhor me?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia sighed, and turned away her head; and Mrs Delvile indignantly + exclaimed, “What madness and absurdity! I scarce know you under the + influence of such irrational violence. Why will you interrupt Miss + Beverley in the only speech you ought to hear from her? Why, at once, + oppress her, and irritate me, by words of more passion than reason? Go on, + charming girl, finish what so wisely, so judiciously you were beginning, + and then you shall be released from this turbulent persecution.” + </p> + <p> + “No, madam, she must not go on!” cried Delvile, “if she does not utterly + abhor me, I will not suffer her to go on;—Pardon, pardon me, + Cecilia, but your too exquisite delicacy is betraying not only my + happiness, but your own. Once more, therefore, I conjure you to hear me, + and then if, deliberately and unbiassed, you renounce me, I will never + more distress you by resisting your decree.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, abashed and changing colour, was silent, and he proceeded. + </p> + <p> + “All that has past between us, the vows I have offered you of faith, + constancy and affection, the consent I obtained from you to be legally + mine, the bond of settlement I have had drawn up, and the high honour you + conferred upon me in suffering me to lead you to the altar,—all + these particulars are already known to so many, that the least reflection + must convince you they will soon be concealed from none: tell me, then, if + your own fame pleads not for me, and if the scruples which lead you to + refuse, by taking another direction, will not, with much more propriety, + urge, nay enjoin you to accept me!—You hesitate at least,—O + Miss Beverley!—I see in that hesitation—” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing, nothing!” cried she, hastily, and checking her rising + irresolution; “there is nothing for you to see, but that every way I now + turn I have rendered myself miserable!” + </p> + <p> + “Mortimer,” said Mrs Delvile, seized with terror as she penetrated into + the mental yielding of Cecilia, “you have now spoken to Miss Beverley; and + unwilling as I am to obtrude upon her our difference of sentiment, it is + necessary, since she has heard you, that I, also, should claim her + attention.” + </p> + <p> + “First let her speak!” cried Delvile, who in her apparent wavering built + new hopes, “first let her answer what she has already deigned to listen + to.” + </p> + <p> + “No, first let her hear!” cried Mrs Delvile, “for so only can she judge + what answer will reflect upon her most honour.” + </p> + <p> + Then, solemnly turning to Cecilia, she continued: “You see here, Miss + Beverley, a young man who passionately adores you, and who forgets in his + adoration friends, family, and connections, the opinions in which he has + been educated, the honour of his house, his own former views, and all his + primitive sense of duty, both public and private!—A passion built on + such a defalcation of principle renders him unworthy your acceptance; and + not more ignoble for him would be a union which would blot his name from + the injured stock whence he sprung, than indelicate for you, who upon such + terms ought to despise him.” + </p> + <p> + “Heavens, madam,” exclaimed Delvile, “what a speech!” + </p> + <p> + “O never,” cried Cecilia, rising, “may I hear such another! Indeed, madam, + there is no occasion to probe me so deeply, for I would not now enter your + family, for all that the whole world could offer me!” + </p> + <p> + “At length, then, madam,” cried Delvile, turning reproachfully to his + mother, “are you satisfied? is your purpose now answered? and is the + dagger you have transfixed in my heart sunk deep enough to appease you?” + </p> + <p> + “O could I draw it out,” cried Mrs Delvile, “and leave upon it no stain of + ignominy, with what joy should my own bosom receive it, to heal the wound + I have most compulsatorily inflicted!—Were this excellent young + creature portionless, I would not hesitate in giving my consent; every + claim of interest would be overbalanced by her virtues, and I would not + grieve to see you poor, where so conscious you were happy; but here to + concede, would annihilate every hope with which hitherto I have looked up + to my son.” + </p> + <p> + “Let us now, then, madam,” said Cecilia, “break up this conference. I have + spoken, I have heard, the decree is past, and therefore,”— + </p> + <p> + “You are indeed an angel!” cried Mrs Delvile, rising and embracing her; + “and never can I reproach my son with what has passed, when I consider for + what an object the sacrifice was planned. <i>You</i> cannot be unhappy, + you have purchased peace by the exercise of virtue, and the close of every + day will bring to you a reward, in the sweets of a self-approving mind.—But + we will part, since you think it right; I do wrong to occasion any delay.” + </p> + <p> + “No, we will <i>not</i> part!” cried Delvile, with encreasing vehemence; + “if you force me, madam, from her, you will drive me to distraction! What + is there in this world that can offer me a recompense? And what can pride + even to the proudest afford as an equivalent? Her perfections you + acknowledge, her greatness of mind is like your own; she has generously + given me her heart,—Oh sacred and fascinating charge! Shall I, after + such a deposite, consent to an eternal separation? Repeal, repeal your + sentence, my Cecilia! let us live to ourselves and our consciences, and + leave the vain prejudices of the world to those who can be paid by them + for the loss of all besides!” + </p> + <p> + “Is this conflict, then,” said Mrs Delvile, “to last for-ever? Oh end it, + Mortimer, finish it, and make me happy! she is just, and will forgive you, + she is noble-minded, and will honour you. Fly, then, at this critical + moment, for in flight alone is your safety; and then will your father see + the son of his hopes, and then shall the fond blessings of your idolizing + mother soothe all your affliction, and soften all your regret!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh madam!” cried Delvile, “for mercy, for humanity, forbear this cruel + supplication!” + </p> + <p> + “Nay, more than supplication, you have my commands; commands you have + never yet disputed, and misery, ten-fold misery, will follow their + disobedience. Hear me, Mortimer, for I speak prophetically; I know your + heart, I know it to be formed for rectitude and duty, or destined by their + neglect to repentance and horror.” + </p> + <p> + Delvile, struck by these words, turned suddenly from them both, and in + gloomy despondence walked to the other end of the room. Mrs Delvile + perceived the moment of her power, and determined to pursue the blow: + taking, therefore, the hand of Cecilia, while her eyes sparkled with the + animation of reviving hope, “See,” she cried, pointing to her son, “see if + I am deceived! can he bear even the suggestion of future contrition! Think + you when it falls upon him, he will support it better? No; he will sink + under it. And you, pure as you are of mind, and steadfast in principle, + what would your chance be of happiness with a man who never erring till he + knew you, could never look at you without regret, be his fondness what it + might?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh madam,” cried the greatly shocked Cecilia, “let him, then, see me no + more!—take, take him all to yourself! forgive, console him! I will + not have the misery of involving him in repentance, nor of incurring the + reproaches of the mother he so much reverences!” + </p> + <p> + “Exalted creature!” cried Mrs Delvile; “tenderness such as this would + confer honour upon a monarch.” Then, calling out exultingly to her son, + “See,” she added, “how great a woman can act, when stimulated by + generosity, and a just sense of duty! Follow then, at least, the example + you ought to have led, and deserve my esteem and love, or be content to + forego them.” + </p> + <p> + “And can I only deserve them,” said Delvile, in a tone of the deepest + anguish, “by a compliance to which not merely my happiness, but my reason + must be sacrificed? What honour do I injure that is not factitious? What + evil threatens our union, that is not imaginary? In the general commerce + of the world it may be right to yield to its prejudices, but in matters of + serious importance, it is weakness to be shackled by scruples so + frivolous, and it is cowardly to be governed by the customs we condemn. + Religion and the laws of our country should then alone be consulted, and + where those are neither opposed nor infringed, we should hold ourselves + superior to all other considerations.” + </p> + <p> + “Mistaken notions!” said Mrs Delvile; “and how long do you flatter + yourself this independent happiness would endure? How long could you live + contented by mere self-gratification, in defiance of the censure of + mankind, the renunciation of your family, and the curses of your father?” + </p> + <p> + “The curses of my father!” repeated he, starting and shuddering, “O no, he + could never be so barbarous!” + </p> + <p> + “He could,” said she, steadily, “nor do I doubt but he would. If now, + however, you are affected by the prospect of his disclaiming you, think + but what you will feel when first forbid to appear before either of us! + and think of your remorse for involving Miss Beverley in such disgrace!” + </p> + <p> + “O speak not such words!” cried he, with agonizing earnestness, “to + disgrace her,—to be banished by you,—present not, I conjure + you, such scenes to my imagination!” + </p> + <p> + “Yet would they be unavoidable,” continued she; “nor have I said to you + all; blinded as you now are by passion, your nobler feelings are only + obscured, not extirpated; think, then, how they will all rise in revenge + of your insulted dignity, when your name becomes a stranger to your ears, + and you are first saluted by one so meanly adopted!—” + </p> + <p> + “Hold, hold, madam,” interrupted he, “this is more than I can bear!” + </p> + <p> + “Heavens!” still continued she, disregarding his entreaty, “what in the + universe can pay you for that first moment of indignity! Think of it well + ere you proceed, and anticipate your sensations, lest the shock should + wholly overcome you. How will the blood of your wronged ancestors rise + into your guilty cheeks, and how will your heart throb with secret shame + and reproach, when wished joy upon your marriage by the name of <i>Mr + Beverley</i>!” + </p> + <p> + Delvile, stung to the soul, attempted not any answer, but walked about the + room in the utmost disorder of mind. Cecilia would have retired, but + feared irritating him to some extravagance; and Mrs Delvile, looking after + him, added “For myself, I would still see, for I should pity your wife,—but + NEVER would I behold my son when sunk into an object of compassion!” + </p> + <p> + “It shall not be!” cried he, in a transport of rage; “cease, cease to + distract me!—be content, madam,—you have conquered!” + </p> + <p> + “Then you are my son!” cried she, rapturously embracing him; “now I know + again my Mortimer! now I see the fair promise of his upright youth, and + the flattering completion of my maternal expectations!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, finding all thus concluded, desired nothing so much as to + congratulate them on their reconciliation; but having only said “Let <i>me</i>, + too,—” her voice failed her, she stopt short, and hoping she had + been unheard, would have glided out of the room. + </p> + <p> + But Delvile, penetrated and tortured, yet delighted at this sensibility, + broke from his mother, and seizing her hand, exclaimed, “Oh Miss Beverley, + if <i>you</i> are not happy—-” + </p> + <p> + “I am! I am!” cried she, with quickness; “let me pass,—and think no + more of me.” + </p> + <p> + “That voice,—those looks,—” cried he, still holding her, “they + speak not serenity!—Oh if I have injured your peace,—if that + heart, which, pure as angels, deserves to be as sacred from sorrow, + through my means, or for my sake, suffers any diminution of tranquility—” + </p> + <p> + “None, none!” interrupted she, with precipitation. + </p> + <p> + “I know well,” cried he, “your greatness of soul; and if this dreadful + sacrifice gives lasting torture only to myself,—if of <i>your</i> + returning happiness I could be assured,—I would struggle to bear + it.” + </p> + <p> + “You <i>may</i>, be assured of it,” cried she, with reviving dignity, “I + have no right to expect escaping all calamity, but while I share the + common lot, I will submit to it without repining.” + </p> + <p> + “Heaven then bless, and hovering angels watch you!” cried he, and letting + go her hand, he ran hastily out of the room. + </p> + <p> + “Oh Virtue, how bright is thy triumph!” exclaimed Mrs Delvile, flying up + to Cecilia, and folding her in her arms; “Noble, incomparable young + creature! I knew not that so much worth was compatible with human + frailty!” + </p> + <p> + But the heroism of Cecilia, in losing its object, lost its force; she + sighed, she could not speak, tears gushed into her eyes, and kissing Mrs + Delvile's hand with a look that shewed her inability to converse with her, + she hastened, though scarce able to support herself, away, with intention + to shut herself up in her own apartment: and Mrs Delvile, who perceived + that her utmost fortitude was exhausted, opposed not her going, and wisely + forbore to encrease her emotion, by following her even with her blessings. + </p> + <p> + But when she came into the hall, she started, and could proceed no + further; for there she beheld Delvile, who in too great agony to be seen, + had stopt to recover some composure before he quitted the house. + </p> + <p> + At the first sound of an opening door, he was hastily escaping; but + perceiving Cecilia, and discerning her situation, he more hastily turned + back, saying, “Is it possible?—To <i>me</i> were you coming?” + </p> + <p> + She shook her head, and made a motion with her hand to say no, and would + then have gone on. + </p> + <p> + “You are weeping!” cried he, “you are pale!—Oh Miss Beverley! is + this your happiness!” + </p> + <p> + “I am very well,—” cried she, not knowing what she answered, “I am + quite well,—pray go,—I am very—” her words died away + inarticulated. + </p> + <p> + “O what a voice is that!” exclaimed he, “it pierces my very soul!” + </p> + <p> + Mrs Delvile now came to the parlour door, and looked aghast at the + situation in which she saw them: Cecilia again moved on, and reached the + stairs, but tottered, and was obliged to cling to the banisters. + </p> + <p> + “O suffer me to support you,” cried he; “you are not able to stand,—whither + is it you would go?” + </p> + <p> + “Any where,—I don't know,—” answered she, in faltering + accents, “but if you would leave me, I should be well.” + </p> + <p> + And, turning from him, she walked again towards the parlour, finding by + her shaking frame, the impossibility of getting unaided up the stairs. + </p> + <p> + “Give me your hand, my love,” said Mrs Delvile, cruelly alarmed by this + return; and the moment they re-entered the parlour, she said impatiently + to her son, “Mortimer, why are you not gone?” + </p> + <p> + He heard her not, however; his whole attention was upon Cecilia, who, + sinking into a chair, hid her face against Mrs Delvile: but, reviving in a + few moments, and blushing at the weakness she had betrayed, she raised her + head, and, with an assumed serenity, said, “I am better,—much + better,—I was rather sick,—but it is over; and now, if you + will excuse me, I will go to my own room.” + </p> + <p> + She then arose, but her knees trembled, and her head was giddy, and again + seating herself, she forced a faint smile, and said, “Perhaps I had better + keep quiet.” + </p> + <p> + “Can I bear this!” cried Delvile, “no, it shakes all my resolution!—loveliest + and most beloved Cecilia! forgive my rash declaration, which I hear + retract and forswear, and which no false pride, no worthless vanity shall + again surprise from me!—raise, then, your eyes—” + </p> + <p> + “Hot-headed young man!” interrupted Mrs Delvile, with an air of haughty + displeasure, “if you cannot be rational, at least be silent. Miss + Beverley, we will both leave him.” + </p> + <p> + Shame, and her own earnestness, how restored some strength to Cecilia, who + read with terror in the looks of Mrs Delvile the passions with which she + was agitated, and instantly obeyed her by rising; but her son, who + inherited a portion of her own spirit, rushed between them both and the + door, and exclaimed, “Stay, madam, stay! I cannot let you go: I see your + intention, I see your dreadful purpose; you will work upon the feelings of + Miss Beverley, you will extort from her a promise to see me no more!” + </p> + <p> + “Oppose not my passing!” cried Mrs Delvile, whose voice, face and manner + spoke the encreasing disturbance of her soul; “I have but too long talked + to you in vain; I must now take some better method for the security of the + honour of my family.” + </p> + <p> + This moment appeared to Delvile decisive; and casting off in desperation + all timidity and restraint, he suddenly sprang forward, and snatching the + hand of Cecilia from his mother, he exclaimed, “I cannot, I will not give + her up!—nor now, madam, nor ever!—I protest it most solemnly! + I affirm it by my best hopes! I swear it by all that I hold sacred!” + </p> + <p> + Grief and horror next to frenzy at a disappointment thus unexpected, and + thus peremptory, rose in the face of Mrs Delvile, who, striking her hand + upon her forehead, cried, “My brain is on fire!” and rushed out of the + room. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia had now no difficulty to disengage herself from Delvile, who, + shocked at the exclamation, and confounded by the sudden departure of his + mother, hastened eagerly to pursue her: she had only flown into the next + parlour; but, upon following her thither, what was his dread and his + alarm, when he saw her extended, upon the floor, her face, hands and neck + all covered with blood! “Great Heaven!” he exclaimed, prostrating himself + by her side, “what is it you have done!—where are you wounded?—what + direful curse have you denounced against your son?” + </p> + <p> + Not able to speak, she angrily shook her head, and indignantly made a + motion with her hand, that commanded him from her sight. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who had followed, though half dead with terror, had yet the + presence of mind to ring the bell. A servant came immediately; and + Delvile, starting up from his mother, ordered him to fetch the first + surgeon or physician he could find. + </p> + <p> + The alarm now brought the rest of the servants into the room, and Mrs + Delvile suffered herself to be raised from the ground, and seated in a + chair; she was still silent, but shewed a disgust to any assistance from + her son, that made him deliver her into the hands of the servants, while, + in speechless agony, he only looked on and watched her. + </p> + <p> + Neither did Cecilia, though forgetting her own sorrow, and no longer + sensible of personal weakness, venture to approach her: uncertain what had + happened, she yet considered herself as the ultimate cause of this + dreadful scene, and feared to risk the effect of the smallest additional + emotion. + </p> + <p> + The servant returned with a surgeon in a few minutes: Cecilia, unable to + wait and hear what he would say, glided hastily out of the room; and + Delvile, in still greater agitation, followed her quick into the next + parlour; but having eagerly advanced to speak to her, he turned + precipitately about, and hurrying into the hall, walked in hasty steps up + and down it, without courage to enquire what was passing. + </p> + <p> + At length the surgeon came out: Delvile flew to him, and stopt him, but + could ask no question. His countenance, however, rendered words + unnecessary; the surgeon understood him, and said, “The lady will do very + well; she has burst a blood vessel, but I think it will be of no + consequence. She must be kept quiet and easy, and upon no account suffered + to talk, or to use any exertion.” + </p> + <p> + Delvile now let him go, and flew himself into a corner to return thanks to + heaven that the evil, however great, was less than he had at first + apprehended. He then went into the parlour to Cecilia, eagerly calling + out, “Heaven be praised, my mother has not voluntarily cursed me!” + </p> + <p> + “O now then,” cried Cecilia, “once more make her bless you! the violence + of her agitation has already almost destroyed her, and her frame is too + weak for this struggle of contending passions;—go to her, then, and + calm the tumult of her spirits, by acquiescing wholly in her will, and + being to her again the son she thinks she has lost!” + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” said he, in a tone of the deepest dejection; “I have been + preparing myself for that purpose, and waited but your commands to finally + determine me.” + </p> + <p> + “Let us both go to her instantly,” said Cecilia; “the least delay may be + fatal.” + </p> + <p> + She now led the way, and approaching Mrs Delvile, who, faint and weak, was + seated upon an arm chair, and resting her head upon the shoulder of a maid + servant, said, “Lean, dearest madam, upon <i>me</i>, and speak not, but + hear us!” + </p> + <p> + She then took the place of the maid, and desired her and the other + servants to go out of the room. Delvile advanced, but his mother's eye, + recovering, at his sight, its wonted fire, darted upon him a glance of + such displeasure, that, shuddering with the apprehension of inflaming + again those passions which threatened her destruction, he hastily sank on + one knee, and abruptly exclaimed, “Look at me with less abhorrence, for I + come but to resign myself to your will.” + </p> + <p> + “Mine, also,” cried Cecilia, “that will shall be; you need not speak it, + we know it, and here solemnly we promise that we will separate for ever.” + </p> + <p> + “Revive, then, my mother,” said Delvile, “rely upon our plighted honours, + and think only of your health, for your son will never more offend you.” + </p> + <p> + Mrs Delvile, much surprised, and strongly affected, held out her hand to + him, with a look of mingled compassion and obligation, and dropping her + head upon the bosom of Cecilia, who with her other arm she pressed towards + her, she burst into an agony of tears. + </p> + <p> + “Go, go, Sir!” said Cecilia, cruelly alarmed, “you have said all that is + necessary; leave Mrs Delvile now, and she will be more composed.” + </p> + <p> + Delvile instantly obeyed, and then his mother, whose mouth still continued + to fill with blood, though it gushed not from her with the violence it had + begun, was prevailed upon by the prayers of Cecilia to consent to be + conveyed into her room; and, as her immediate removal to another house + might be dangerous, she complied also, though very reluctantly, with her + urgent entreaties, that she would take entire possession of it till the + next day. + </p> + <p> + This point gained, Cecilia left her, to communicate what had passed to Mrs + Charlton; but was told by one of the servants that Mr Delvile begged first + to speak with her in the next room. + </p> + <p> + She hesitated for a moment whether to grant this request; but recollecting + it was right to acquaint him with his mother's intention of staying all + night, she went to him. + </p> + <p> + “How indulgent you are,” cried he, in a melancholy voice, as she opened + the door; “I am now going post to Dr Lyster, whom I shall entreat to come + hither instantly; but I am fearful of again disturbing my mother, and must + therefore rely upon you to acquaint her what is become of me.” + </p> + <p> + “Most certainly; I have begged her to remain here to-night, and I hope I + shall prevail with her to continue with me till Dr Lyster's arrival; after + which she will, doubtless, be guided either in staying longer, or removing + elsewhere, by his advice.” + </p> + <p> + “You are all goodness,” said he, with a deep sigh; “and how I shall + support—but I mean not to return hither, at least not to this house,—unless, + indeed, Dr Lyster's account should be alarming. I leave my mother, + therefore, to your kindness, and only hope, only entreat, that your own + health,—your own peace of mind—neither by attendance upon her—by + anxiety—by pity for her son—” + </p> + <p> + He stopt, and seemed gasping for breath; Cecilia turned from him to hide + her emotion, and he proceeded with a rapidity of speech that shewed his + terror of continuing with her any longer, and his struggle with himself to + be gone: “The promise you have made in both our names to my mother, I + shall hold myself bound to observe. I see, indeed, that her reason or her + life would fall the sacrifice of further opposition: of myself, therefore, + it is no longer time to think.—I take of you no leave—I + cannot! yet I would fain tell you the high reverence—but it is + better to say nothing—” + </p> + <p> + “Much better,” cried Cecilia, with a forced and faint smile; “lose not, + therefore, an instant, but hasten to this good Dr Lyster.” + </p> + <p> + “I will,” answered he, going to the door; but there, stopping and turning + round, “one thing I should yet,” he added, “wish to say,—I have been + impetuous, violent, unreasonable,—with shame and with regret I + recollect how impetuous, and how unreasonable: I have persecuted, where I + ought in silence to have submitted; I have reproached, where I ought in + candour to have approved; and in the vehemence with which I have pursued + you, I have censured that very dignity of conduct which has been the basis + of my admiration, my esteem, my devotion! but never can I forget, and + never without fresh wonder remember, the sweetness with which you have + borne with me, even when most I offended you. For this impatience, this + violence, this inconsistency, I now most sincerely beg your pardon; and + if, before I go, you could so far condescend as to pronounce my + forgiveness, with a lighter heart, I think, I should quit you.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not talk of forgiveness,” said Cecilia, “you have never offended me; I + always knew—always was sure—always imputed—” she stopt, + unable to proceed. + </p> + <p> + Deeply penetrated by her apparent distress, he with difficulty restrained + himself from falling at her feet; but after a moment's pause and + recollection, he said, “I understand the generous indulgence you have + shewn me, an indulgence I shall ever revere, and ever grieve to have + abused. I ask you not to remember me,—far, far happier do I wish you + than such a remembrance could make you; but I will pain the humanity of + your disposition no longer. You will tell my mother—but no matter!—Heaven + preserve you, my angelic Cecilia!—Miss Beverley, I mean, Heaven + guide, protect, and bless you! And should I see you no more, should this + be the last sad moment—-” + </p> + <p> + He paused, but presently recovering himself, added, “May I hear, at least, + of your tranquillity, for that alone can have any chance to quiet or + repress the anguish I feel here!” + </p> + <p> + He then abruptly retreated, and ran out of the house. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia for a while remained almost stupified with sorrow; she forgot Mrs + Delvile, she forgot Mrs Charlton, she forgot her own design of apologizing + to one, or assisting the other: she continued in the posture in which he + had left her, quite without motion, and almost without sensibility. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER vii. — A MESSAGE. + </h2> + <p> + From this lethargy of sadness Cecilia was soon, however, awakened by the + return of the surgeon, who had brought with him a physician to consult + upon Mrs Delvile's situation. Terror for the mother once more drove the + son from her thoughts, and she waited with the most apprehensive + impatience to hear the result of the consultation. The physician declined + giving any positive opinion, but, having written a prescription, only + repeated the injunction of the surgeon, that she should be kept extremely + quiet, and on no account be suffered to talk. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, though shocked and frightened at the occasion, was yet by no + means sorry at an order which thus precluded all conversation; unfitted + for it by her own misery, she was glad to be relieved from all necessity + of imposing upon herself the irksome task of finding subjects for + discourse to which she was wholly indifferent, while obliged with sedulity + to avoid those by which alone her mind was occupied. + </p> + <p> + The worthy Mrs Charlton heard the events of the morning with the utmost + concern, but charged her grand-daughters to assist her young friend in + doing the honours of her house to Mrs Delvile, while she ordered another + apartment to be prepared for Cecilia, to whom she administered all the + consolation her friendly zeal could suggest. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, however unhappy, had too just a way of thinking to indulge in + selfish grief, where occasion called her to action for the benefit of + others: scarce a moment, therefore now did she allow to sorrow and + herself, but assiduously bestowed the whole of her time upon her two sick + friends, dividing her attention according to their own desire or + convenience, without consulting or regarding any choice of her own. + Choice, indeed, she had none; she loved Mrs Charlton, she revered Mrs + Delvile; the warmest wish with which her heart glowed, was the recovery of + both, but too deep was her affliction to receive pleasure from either. + </p> + <p> + Two days passed thus, during which the constancy of her attendance, which + at another time would have fatigued her, proved the only relief she was + capable of receiving. Mrs Delvile was evidently affected by her vigilant + tenderness, but seemed equally desirous with herself to make use of the + prohibition to speech as an excuse for uninterrupted silence. She enquired + not even after her son, though the eagerness of her look towards the door + whenever it was opened, shewed either a hope, or an apprehension that he + might enter. Cecilia wished to tell her whither he was gone, but dreaded + trusting her voice with his name; and their silence, after a while, seemed + so much by mutual consent, that she had soon as little courage as she had + inclination to break it. + </p> + <p> + The arrival of Dr Lyster gave her much satisfaction, for upon him rested + her hopes of Mrs Delvile's re-establishment. He sent for her down stairs, + to enquire whether he was expected; and hearing that he was not, desired + her to announce him, as the smallest emotion might do mischief. + </p> + <p> + She returned up stairs, and after a short preparation, said, “Your + favourite Dr Lyster, madam, is come, and I shall be much the happier for + having you under his care.” + </p> + <p> + “Dr Lyster?” cried she, “who sent for him?” + </p> + <p> + “I believe—I fancy—Mr Delvile fetched him.” + </p> + <p> + “My son?—is he here, then?” + </p> + <p> + “No,—he went, the moment he left you, for Dr Lyster,—and Dr + Lyster is come by himself.” + </p> + <p> + “Does he write to you?” + </p> + <p> + “No, indeed!—he writes not—he comes not—dearest madam be + satisfied, he will do neither to me ever more!” + </p> + <p> + “Exemplary young man!” cried she, in a voice hardly audible, “how great is + his loss!—unhappy Mortimer!—ill-fated, and ill-rewarded!” + </p> + <p> + She sighed, and said no more; but this short conversation, the only one + which had passed between them since her illness, agitated her so much, + that Dr Lyster, who now came up stairs, found her in a state of trembling + and weakness that both alarmed and surprised him. Cecilia, glad of an + opportunity to be gone, left the room, and sent, by Dr Lyster's desire, + for the physician and surgeon who had already attended. + </p> + <p> + After they had been some time with their patient, they retired to a + consultation, and when it was over, Dr Lyster waited upon Cecilia in the + parlour, and assured her he had no apprehension of danger for Mrs Delvile, + “Though, for another week,” he added, “I would have her continue your <i>patient</i>, + as she is not yet fit to be removed. But pray mind that she is kept quiet; + let nobody go near her, not even her own son. By the way he is waiting for + me at the inn, so I'll just speak again to his mother, and be gone.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia was well pleased by this accidental information, to learn both the + anxiety of Delvile for his mother, and the steadiness of his forbearance + for himself. When Dr Lyster came down stairs again, “I shall stay,” he + said, “till to-morrow, but I hope she will be able in another week to get + to Bristol. In the mean time I shall leave her, I see, with an excellent + nurse. But, my good young lady, in your care of her, don't neglect + yourself; I am not quite pleased with your looks, though it is but an old + fashioned speech to tell you so.—What have you been doing to + yourself?” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing;” said she, a little embarrassed; “but had you not better have + some tea?” + </p> + <p> + “Why yes, I think I had;—but what shall I do with my young man?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia understood the hint, but coloured, and made no answer. + </p> + <p> + “He is waiting for me,” he continued, “at the inn; however, I never yet + knew the young man I would prefer to a young woman, so if you will give me + some tea here, I shall certainly jilt him.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia instantly rang the bell, and ordered tea. + </p> + <p> + “Well now,” said he, “remember the sin of this breach of appointment lies + wholly at your door. I shall tell him you laid violent hands on me; and if + that is not, enough to excuse me, I shall desire he will try whether he + could be more of a stoic with you himself.” + </p> + <p> + “I think I must unorder the tea,” said she, with what gaiety she could + assume, “if I am to be responsible for any mischief from your drinking + it.” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, you shan't be off now; but pray would it be quite out of rule for + you to send and ask him to come to us?” + </p> + <p> + “Why I believe—I think—” said she, stammering, “it's very + likely he may be engaged.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, well, I don't mean to propose any violent incongruity. You must + excuse my blundering; I understand but little of the etiquette of young + ladies. 'Tis a science too intricate to be learned without more study than + we plodding men of business can well spare time for. However, when I have + done <i>writing</i> prescriptions, I will set about <i>reading</i> them, + provided you will be my instructress.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, though ashamed of a charge in which prudery and affectation were + implied, was compelled to submit to it, as either to send for Delvile, or + explain her objections, was equally impossible. The Miss Charltons, + therefore, joined them, and they went to tea. + </p> + <p> + Just as they had done, a note was delivered to Dr Lyster; “see here,” + cried he, when he had read it, “what a fine thing it is to be a <i>young</i> + man! Why now, Mr Mortimer understands as much of all this <i>etiquette</i> + as you ladies do yourselves; for he only writes a note even to ask how his + mother does.” + </p> + <p> + He then put it into Cecilia's hand. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Dr Lyster</i>. + </p> + <p> + Tell me, my dear Sir, how you have found my mother? I am uneasy at your + long stay, and engaged with my friend Biddulph, or I should have followed + you in person. + </p> + <p> + M.D. + </p> + <p> + “So you see,” continued the doctor, “I need not do penance for engaging + myself to you, when this young gentleman can find such good entertainment + for himself.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia who well knew the honourable motive of Delvile's engagement, with + difficulty forbore speaking in his vindication. Dr Lyster immediately + began an answer, but before he had finished it, called out, “Now as I am + told you are a very good young woman, I think you can do no less than + assist me to punish this gay spark, for playing the macaroni, when he + ought to visit his sick mother.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, much hurt for Delvile, and much confused for herself, looked + abashed, but knew not what to answer. + </p> + <p> + “My scheme,” continued the doctor, “is to tell him, that as he has found + one engagement for tea, he may find another for supper; but that as to me, + I am better disposed of, for you insist upon keeping me to yourself. Come, + what says <i>etiquette</i>? may I treat myself with this puff?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly,” said Cecilia, endeavouring to look pleased, “if you will + favour us with your company, Miss Charltons and myself will think the <i>puffing</i> + should rather be ours than yours.” + </p> + <p> + “That, then,” said the doctor, “will not answer my purpose, for I mean the + puff to be my own, or how do I punish him? So, suppose I tell him I shall + not only sup with three young ladies, but be invited to a <i>tete-a-tete</i> + with one of them into the bargain?” + </p> + <p> + The young ladies only laughed, and the doctor finished his note, and sent + it away; and then, turning gaily to Cecilia, “Come,” he said, “why don't + you give me this invitation? surely you don't mean to make me guilty of + perjury?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, but little disposed for pleasantry, would gladly now have dropt + the subject; but Dr Lyster, turning to the Miss Charltons, said, “Young + ladies, I call you both to witness if this is not very bad usage: this + young woman has connived at my writing a downright falsehood, and all the + time took me in to believe it was a truth. The only way I can think of to + cure her of such frolics, is for both of you to leave us together, and so + make her keep her word whether she will or no.” + </p> + <p> + The Miss Charltons took the hint, and went away; while Cecilia, who had + not at all suspected he meant seriously to speak with her, remained + extremely perplexed to think what he had to say. + </p> + <p> + “Mrs Delvile,” cried he, continuing the same air of easy good humour, + “though I allowed her not to speak to me above twenty words, took up near + ten of them to tell me that you had behaved to her like an angel. Why so + she ought, cried I; what else was she sent for here to look so like one? I + charged her, therefore, to take all that as a thing of course; and to + prove that I really think what I say, I am now going to make a trial of + you, that, if you are any thing less, will induce you to order some of + your men to drive me into the street. The truth is, I have had a little + commission given me, which in the first place I know not how to introduce, + and which, in the second, as far as I can judge, appears to be absolutely + superfluous.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia now felt uneasy and alarmed, and begged him to explain himself. He + then dropt the levity with which he had begun the discourse, and after a + grave, yet gentle preparation, expressive of his unwillingness to distress + her, and his firm persuasion of her uncommon worthiness, he acquainted her + that he was no stranger to her situation with respect to the Delvile + family. + </p> + <p> + “Good God!” cried she, blushing and much amazed; “and who”—- + </p> + <p> + “I knew it,” said he, “from the moment I attended Mr Mortimer in his + illness at Delvile Castle. He could not conceal from me that the seat of + his disorder was his mind; and I could not know that, without readily + conjecturing the cause, when I saw who was his father's guest, and when I + knew what was his father's character. He found he was betrayed to me, and + upon my advising a journey, he understood me properly. His openness to + counsel, and the manly firmness with which he behaved in quitting you, + made me hope the danger was blown over. But last week, when I was at the + Castle, where I have for some time attended Mr Delvile, who has had a + severe fit of the gout, I found him in an agitation of spirits that made + me apprehend it would be thrown into his stomach. I desired Mrs Delvile to + use her influence to calm him; but she was herself in still greater + emotion, and acquainting me she was obliged to leave him, desired I would + spend with him every moment in my power. I have therefore almost lived at + the Castle during her absence, and, in the course of our many + conversations, he has acknowledged to me the uneasiness under which he has + laboured, from the intelligence concerning his son, which he had just + received.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia wished here to enquire <i>how</i> received, and from whom, but had + not the courage, and therefore he proceeded. + </p> + <p> + “I was still with the father when Mr Mortimer arrived post at my house to + fetch me hither. I was sent for home; he informed me of his errand without + disguise, for he knew I was well acquainted with the original secret + whence all the evil arose. I told him my distress in what manner to leave + his father; and he was extremely shocked himself when acquainted with his + situation. We agreed that it would be vain to conceal from him the + indisposition of Mrs Delvile, which the delay of her return, and a + thousand other accidents, might in some unfortunate way make known to him. + He commissioned me, therefore, to break it to him, that he might consent + to my journey, and at the same time to quiet his own mind, by assuring him + all he had apprehended was wholly at an end.” + </p> + <p> + He stopt, and looked to see how Cecilia bore these words. + </p> + <p> + “It is all at an end, Sir;” said she, with firmness; “but I have not yet + heard your commission; what, and from whom is that?” + </p> + <p> + “I am thoroughly satisfied it is unnecessary;” he answered, “since the + young man can but submit, and you can but give him up.” + </p> + <p> + “But still, if there is a message, it is fit I should hear it.” + </p> + <p> + “If you chase it, so it is. I told Mr Delvile whither I was coming, and I + repeated to him his son's assurances. He was relieved, but not satisfied; + he would not see him, and gave me for him a prohibition of extreme + severity, and to <i>you</i> he bid me say—” + </p> + <p> + “From <i>him</i>, then, is my message?” cried Cecilia, half frightened, + and much disappointed. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said he, understanding her immediately, “for the son, after giving + me his first account, had the wisdom and forbearance not once to mention + you.” + </p> + <p> + “I am very glad,” said she, with a mixture of admiration and regret, “to + hear it. But, what, Sir, said Mr Delvile?” + </p> + <p> + “He bid me tell you that either <i>he</i>, or <i>you</i> must see his son + never more.” + </p> + <p> + “It was indeed unnecessary,” cried she, colouring with resentment, “to + send me such a message. I meant not to see him again, he meant not to + desire it. I return him, however, no answer, and I will make him no + promise; to Mrs Delvile alone I hold myself bound; to him, send what + messages he may, I shall always hold myself free. But believe me, Dr + Lyster, if with his name, his son had inherited his character, his desire + of our separation would be feeble, and trifling, compared with my own!” + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry, my good young lady,” said he, “to have given you this + disturbance; yet I admire your spirit, and doubt not but it will enable + you to forget any little disappointment you may have suffered. And what, + after all, have you to regret? Mortimer Delvile is, indeed, a young man + that any woman might wish to attach; but every woman cannot have him, and + you, of all women, have least reason to repine in missing him, for + scarcely is there another man you may not chuse or reject at your + pleasure.” + </p> + <p> + Little as was the consolation Cecilia could draw from this speech, she was + sensible it became not her situation to make complaints, and therefore, to + end the conversation she proposed calling in the Miss Charltons. + </p> + <p> + “No, no,” said he, “I must step up again to Mrs Delvile, and then be-gone. + To-morrow morning I shall but call to see how she is, and leave some + directions, and set off. Mr Mortimer Delvile accompanies me back: but he + means to return hither in a week, in order to travel with his mother to + Bristol. Mean time, I purpose to bring about a reconciliation between him + and his father, whose prejudices are more intractable than any man's I + ever met with.” + </p> + <p> + “It will be strange indeed,” said Cecilia, “should a reconciliation <i>now</i> + be difficult!” + </p> + <p> + “True; but it is long since he was young himself, and the softer + affections he never was acquainted with, and only regards them in his son + as derogatory to his whole race. However, if there were not some few such + men, there would hardly be a family in the kingdom that could count a + great grand-father. I am not, I must own, of his humour myself, but I + think it rather peculiarly stranger, than peculiarly worse than most other + peoples; and how, for example, was that of <i>your</i> uncle a whit the + better? He was just as fond of <i>his</i> name, as if, like Mr Delvile, he + could trace it from the time of the Saxons.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia strongly felt the truth of this observation, but not chusing to + discuss it, made not any answer, and Dr Lyster, after a few good-natured + apologies, both for his friends the Delviles and himself, went up stairs. + </p> + <p> + “What continual disturbance,” cried she, when left alone, “keeps me thus + for-ever from rest! no sooner is one wound closed, but another is opened; + mortification constantly succeeds distress, and when my heart is spared; + my pride is attacked, that not a moment of tranquility may ever be allowed + me! Had the lowest of women won the affections of Mr Delvile, could his + father with less delicacy or less decency have acquainted her with his + inflexible disapprobation? To send with so little ceremony a message so + contemptuous and so peremptory!—but perhaps it is better, for had + he, too, like Mrs Delvile, joined kindness with rejection, I might still + more keenly have felt the perverseness of my destiny.” + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER vii. — A PARTING. + </h2> + <p> + The next morning Dr Lyster called early, and having visited Mrs Delvile, + and again met the two gentlemen of the faculty in whose care she was to + remain, he took his leave. But not without contriving first to speak a few + words to Cecilia in private, in which he charged her to be careful of her + health, and re-animate her spirits. “Don't suppose,” said he, “that + because I am a friend of the Delvile family, I am either blind to your + merits, or to their foibles, far from it; but then why should they + interfere with one another? Let them keep their prejudices, which, though + different, are not worse than their neighbours, and do you retain your + excellencies, and draw from them the happiness they ought to give you. + People reason and refine themselves into a thousand miseries, by chusing + to settle that they can only be contented one way; whereas, there are + fifty ways, if they would but look about them, that would commonly do as + well.” + </p> + <p> + “I believe, indeed, you are right,” answered Cecilia, “and I thank you for + the admonition; I will do what I can towards studying your scheme of + philosophy, and it is always one step to amendment, to be convinced that + we want it.” + </p> + <p> + “You are a sensible and charming girl,” said Dr Lyster, “and Mr Delvile, + should he find a daughter-in-law descended in a right line from Egbert, + first king of all England, won't be so well off as if he had satisfied + himself with you. However, the old gentleman has a fair right, after all, + to be pleased his own way, and let us blame him how we will, we shall + find, upon sifting, it is for no other reason but because his humour + happens to clash with our own.” + </p> + <p> + “That, indeed,” said Cecilia, smiling, “is a truth incontrovertible! and a + truth to which, for the future, I will endeavour to give more weight. But + will you permit me now to ask one question?—Can you tell me from + whom, how, or when the intelligence which has caused all this disturbance—-” + </p> + <p> + She hesitated, but, comprehending her readily, he answered “How they got + at it, I never heard, for I never thought it worth while to enquire, as it + is so generally known, that nobody I meet with seems ignorant of it.” + </p> + <p> + This was another, and a cruel shock to Cecilia, and Dr Lyster, perceiving + it, again attempted to comfort her. “That the affair is somewhat spread,” + said he, “is now not to be helped, and therefore little worth thinking of; + every body will agree that the choice of both does honour to both, and + nobody need be ashamed to be successor to either, whenever the course of + things leads Mr Mortimer and yourself to make another election. He wisely + intends to go abroad, and will not return till he is his own man again. + And as to you, my good young lady, what, after a short time given to + vexation, need interrupt your happiness? You have the whole world before + you, with youth, fortune, talents, beauty and independence; drive, + therefore, from your head this unlucky affair, and remember there can + hardly be a family in the kingdom, this one excepted, that will not + rejoice in a connection with you.” + </p> + <p> + He then good-humouredly shook hands with her, and went into his chaise. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, though not slow in remarking the ease and philosophy with which + every one can argue upon the calamities, and moralize upon the misconduct + of others, had still the candour and good sense to see that there was + reason in what he urged, and to resolve upon making the best use in her + power of the hints for consolation she might draw from his discourse. + </p> + <p> + During the following week, she devoted herself almost wholly to Mrs + Delvile, sharing with the maid, whom she had brought with her from the + Castle, the fatigue of nursing her, and leaving to the Miss Charltons the + chief care of their grandmother. For Mrs Delvile appeared every hour more + sensible of her attention, and more desirous of her presence, and though + neither of them spoke, each was endeared to the other by the tender + offices of friendship which were paid and received. + </p> + <p> + When this week was expired, Dr Lyster was prevailed upon to return again + to Bury, in order to travel himself with Mrs Delvile to Bristol. “Well,” + cried he, taking Cecilia by the first opportunity aside, “how are you? + Have you studied my scheme of philosophy, as you promised me?” + </p> + <p> + “O yes,” said she, “and made, I flatter myself, no little proficiency.” + </p> + <p> + “You are a good girl,” cried he, “a very extraordinary girl! I am sure you + are; and upon my honour I pity poor Mortimer with all my soul! But he is a + noble young fellow, and behaves with a courage and spirit that does me + good to behold. To have obtained you, he would have moved heaven and + earth, but finding you out of his reach, he submits to his fate like a + man.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia's eyes glistened at this speech; “Yes,” said she, “he long since + said 'tis suspence, 'tis hope, that make the misery of life,—for + there the Passions have all power, and Reason has none. But when evils are + irremediable, and we have neither resources to plan, nor castle-building + to delude us, we find time for the cultivation of philosophy, and flatter + ourselves, perhaps, that we have found inclination!” + </p> + <p> + “Why you have considered this matter very deeply,” said he; “but I must + not have you give way to these serious reflections. Thought, after all, + has a cruel spite against happiness; I would have you, therefore, keep as + much as you conveniently can, out of its company. Run about and divert + yourself, 'tis all you have for it. The true art of happiness in this most + whimsical world, seems nothing more nor less than this—Let those who + have leisure, find employment, and those who have business, find leisure.” + </p> + <p> + He then told her that Mr Delvile senior was much better, and no longer + confined to his room: and that he had had the pleasure of seeing an entire + reconciliation take place between him and his son, of whom he was more + fond and more proud than any other father in the universe. + </p> + <p> + “Think of him, however, my dear young lady,” he continued, “no more, for + the matter I see is desperate: you must pardon my being a little + officious, when I confess to you I could not help proposing to the old + gentleman an expedient of my own; for as I could not drive you out of my + head, I employed myself in thinking what might be done by way of + accommodation. Now my scheme was really a very good one, only when people + are prejudiced, all reasoning is thrown away upon them. I proposed sinking + <i>both</i> your names, since they are so at variance with one another, + and so adopting a third, by means of a title. But Mr Delvile angrily + declared, that though such a scheme might do very well for the needy Lord + Ernolf, a Peer of twenty years, his own noble ancestors should never, by + his consent, forfeit a name which so many centuries had rendered + honourable. His son Mortimer, he added, must inevitably inherit the title + of his grandfather, his uncle being old and unmarried; but yet he would + rather see him a beggar, than lose his dearest hope that <i>Delvile</i>, + Lord <i>Delvile</i>, would descend, both name and title, from generation + to generation unsullied and uninterrupted.” + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry, indeed,” said Cecilia, “that such a proposal was made, and I + earnestly entreat that none of any sort may be repeated.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, well,” said he, “I would not for the world do any mischief, but who + would not have supposed such a proposal would have done good?” + </p> + <p> + “Mr Mortimer,” he then added, “is to meet us at—for he would not, he + said, come again to this place, upon such terms as he was here last week, + for the whole worth of the king's dominions.” + </p> + <p> + The carriage was now ready, and Mrs Delvile was prepared to depart. + Cecilia approached to take leave of her, but Dr Lyster following, said “No + talking! no thanking! no compliments of any sort! I shall carry off my + patient without permitting one civil speech, and for all the rudeness I + make her guilty of, I am willing to be responsible.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia would then have retreated, but Mrs Delvile, holding out both her + hands, said “To every thing else, Dr Lyster, I am content to submit; but + were I to die while uttering the words, I cannot leave this inestimable + creature without first saying how much I love her, how I honour, and how I + thank her! without entreating her to be careful of her health, and + conjuring her to compleat the greatness of her conduct, by not suffering + her spirits to sink from the exertion of her virtue. And now my love, God + bless you!” + </p> + <p> + She then embraced her, and went on; Cecilia, at a motion of Dr Lyster's, + forbearing to follow her. + </p> + <p> + “And thus,” cried she, when they were gone, “thus ends all my connection + with this family! which it seems as if I was only to have known for the + purpose of affording a new proof of the insufficiency of situation to + constitute happiness. Who looks not upon mine as the perfection of human + felicity?—And so, perhaps, it is, for it may be that Felicity and + Humanity are never permitted to come nearer.” + </p> + <p> + And thus, in philosophic sadness, by reasoning upon the universality of + misery, she restrained, at least, all violence of sorrow, though her + spirits were dejected, and her heart was heavy. + </p> + <p> + But the next day brought with it some comfort that a little lightened her + sadness; Mrs Charlton, almost wholly recovered, was able to go down + stairs, and Cecilia had at least the satisfaction of seeing an happy + conclusion to an illness of which, with the utmost concern and regret, she + considered herself as the cause. She attended her with the most + unremitting assiduity, and being really very thankful, endeavoured to + appear happy, and flattered herself that, by continual effort, the + appearance in a short time would become reality. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Charlton retired early, and Cecilia accompanied her up stairs: and + while she was with her, was informed that Mr Monckton was in the parlour. + </p> + <p> + The various, afflicting, and uncommon scenes in which she had been engaged + since she last saw him, had almost wholly driven him from her remembrance, + or when at any time he recurred to it, it was only to attribute the + discontinuance of his visits to the offence she had given him, in refusing + to follow his advice by relinquishing her London expedition. + </p> + <p> + Full, therefore, of the mortifying transactions which had passed since + their parting, and fearful of his enquiries into disgraces he had nearly + foretold, she heard him announced with chagrin, and waited upon him in the + most painful confusion. + </p> + <p> + Far different were the feelings of Mr Monckton; he read in her countenance + the dejection of disappointment, which impressed upon his heart the + vivacity of hope: her evident shame was to him secret triumph, her + ill-concealed sorrow revived all his expectations. + </p> + <p> + She hastily began a conversation by mentioning her debt to him, and + apologising for not paying it the moment she was of age. He knew but too + well how her time had been occupied, and assured her the delay was wholly + immaterial. + </p> + <p> + He then led to an enquiry into the present situation of her affairs; but + unable to endure a disquisition, which could only be productive of censure + and mortification, she hastily stopt it, exclaiming, “Ask me not, I + entreat you, Sir, any detail of what has passed,—the event has + brought me sufferings that may well make blame be dispensed with;—I + acknowledge all your wisdom, I am sensible of my own error, but the affair + is wholly dropt, and the unhappy connection I was forming is broken off + for-ever!” + </p> + <p> + Little now was Mr Monckton's effort in repressing his further curiosity, + and he started other subjects with readiness, gaiety and address. He + mentioned Mrs Charlton, for whom he had not the smallest regard; he talked + to her of Mrs Harrel, whose very existence was indifferent to him; and he + spoke of their common acquaintance in the country, for not one of whom he + would have grieved, if assured of meeting no more. His powers of + conversation were enlivened by his hopes; and his exhilarated spirits made + all subjects seem happy to him. A weight was removed from his mind which + had nearly borne down even his remotest hopes; the object of his eager + pursuit seemed still within his reach, and the rival into whose power he + had so lately almost beheld her delivered, was totally renounced, and no + longer to be dreaded. A revolution such as this, raised expectations more + sanguine than ever; and in quitting the house, he exultingly considered + himself released from every obstacle to his views—till, just as he + arrived home, he recollected his wife! + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER viii. — A TALE. + </h2> + <p> + A week passed, during which Cecilia, however sad, spent her time as usual + with the family, denying to herself all voluntary indulgence of grief, and + forbearing to seek consolation from solitude, or relief from tears. She + never named Delvile, she begged Mrs Charlton never to mention him; she + called to her aid the account she had received from Dr Lyster of his + firmness, and endeavoured, by an emulous ambition, to fortify her mind + from the weakness of depression and regret. + </p> + <p> + This week, a week of struggle with all her feelings, was just elapsed, + when she received by the post the following letter from Mrs Delvile. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Beverley</i>. + </p> + <p> + BRISTOL, <i>Oct</i>. 21. + </p> + <p> + My sweet young friend will not, I hope, be sorry to hear of my safe + arrival at this place: to me every account of her health and welfare, will + ever be the intelligence I shall most covet to receive. Yet I mean not to + ask for it in return; to chance I will trust for information, and I only + write now to say I shall write no more. + </p> + <p> + Too much for thanks is what I owe you, and what I think of you is beyond + all power of expression. Do not, then, wish me ill, ill as I have seemed + to merit of you, for my own heart is almost broken by the tyranny I have + been compelled to practise upon yours. And now let me bid a long adieu to + you, my admirable Cecilia; you shall not be tormented with a useless + correspondence, which can only awaken painful recollections, or give rise + to yet more painful new anxieties. Fervently will I pray for the + restoration of your happiness, to which nothing can so greatly contribute + as that wise, that uniform command, so feminine, yet so dignified, you + maintain over your passions; which often I have admired, though never so + feelingly as at this conscious moment! when my own health is the sacrifice + of emotions most fatally unrestrained. + </p> + <p> + Send to me no answer, even if you have the sweetness to wish it; every new + proof of the generosity of your nature is to me but a new wound. Forget + us, therefore, wholly,—alas! you have only known us for sorrow! + forget us, dear and invaluable Cecilia! though, ever, as you have nobly + deserved, must you be fondly and gratefully remembered by AUGUSTA DELVILE. + </p> + <p> + The attempted philosophy, and laboured resignation of Cecilia, this letter + destroyed: the struggle was over, the apathy was at an end, and she burst + into an agony of tears, which finding the vent they had long sought, now + flowed unchecked down her cheeks, sad monitors of the weakness of reason + opposed to the anguish of sorrow! + </p> + <p> + A letter at once so caressing, yet so absolute, forced its way to her + heart, in spite of the fortitude she had flattered herself was its guard. + In giving up Delvile she was satisfied of the propriety of seeing him no + more, and convinced that even to talk of him would be folly and + imprudence; but to be told that for the future they must remain strangers + to the existence of each other—there seemed in this a hardship, a + rigour, that was insupportable. + </p> + <p> + “Oh what,” cried she, “is human nature! in its best state how imperfect! + that a woman such as this, so noble in character, so elevated in + sentiment, with heroism to sacrifice to her sense of duty the happiness of + a son, whom with joy she would die to serve, can herself be thus governed + by prejudice, thus enslaved, thus subdued by opinion!” Yet never, even + when miserable, unjust or irrational; her grief was unmixed with anger, + and her tears streamed not from resentment, but affliction. The situation + of Mrs Delvile, however different, she considered to be as wretched as her + own. She read, therefore, with sadness, but not bitterness, her farewell, + and received not with disdain, but with gratitude, her sympathy. Yet + though her indignation was not irritated, her sufferings were doubled, by + a farewell so kind, yet so despotic, a sympathy so affectionate, yet so + hopeless. + </p> + <p> + In this first indulgence of grief which she had granted to her + disappointment, she was soon interrupted by a summons down stairs to a + gentleman. + </p> + <p> + Unfit and unwilling to be seen, she begged that he might leave his name, + and appoint a time for calling again. + </p> + <p> + Her maid brought for answer, that he believed his name was unknown to her, + and desired to see her now, unless she was employed in some matter of + moment. She then put up her letter, and went into the parlour; and there, + to her infinite amazement, beheld Mr Albany. + </p> + <p> + “How little, Sir,” she cried, “did I expect this pleasure.” + </p> + <p> + “This pleasure,” repeated he, “do you call it?—what strange abuse of + words! what causeless trifling with honesty! is language of no purpose but + to wound the ear with untruths? is the gift of speech only granted us to + pervert the use of understanding? I can give you no pleasure, I have no + power to give it any one; you can give none to me-the whole world could + not invest you with the means!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Sir,” said Cecilia, who had little spirit to defend herself, “I + will not vindicate the expression, but of this I will unfeignedly assure + you, I am at least as glad to see you just now, as I should be to see + anybody.” + </p> + <p> + “Your eyes,” cried he, “are red, your voice is inarticulate;—young, + rich, and attractive, the world at your feet; that world yet untried, and + its falsehood unknown, how have you thus found means to anticipate misery? + which way have you uncovered the cauldron of human woes? Fatal and early + anticipation! that cover once removed, can never be replaced; those woes, + those boiling woes, will pour out upon you continually, and only when your + heart ceases to beat, will their ebullition cease to torture you!” + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” cried Cecilia, shuddering, “how cruel, yet how true!” + </p> + <p> + “Why went you,” cried he, “to the cauldron? it came not to you. Misery + seeks not man, but man misery. He walks out in the sun, but stops not for + a cloud; confident, he pursues his way, till the storm which, gathering, + he might have avoided, bursts over his devoted head. Scared and amazed, he + repents his temerity; he calls, but it is then too late; he runs, but it + is thunder which follows him! Such is the presumption of man, such at once + is the arrogance and shallowness of his nature! And thou, simple and + blind! hast thou, too, followed whither Fancy has led thee, unheeding that + thy career was too vehement for tranquility, nor missing that lovely + companion of youth's early innocence, till, adventurous and unthinking, + thou hast lost her for ever!” + </p> + <p> + In the present weak state of Cecilia's spirits, this attack was too much + for her; and the tears she had just, and with difficulty restrained, again + forced their way down her cheeks, as she answered, “It is but too true,—I + have lost her for ever!” + </p> + <p> + “Poor thing,” said he, while the rigour of his countenance was softened + into the gentlest commiseration, “so young!—looking, too, so + innocent—'tis hard!—And is nothing left thee? no small + remaining hope, to cheat, humanely cheat thy yet not wholly extinguished + credulity?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia wept without answering. + </p> + <p> + “Let me not,” said he, “waste my compassion upon nothing; compassion is + with me no effusion of affectation; tell me, then, if thou deservest it, + or if thy misfortunes are imaginary, and thy grief is factitious?” + </p> + <p> + “Factitious,” repeated she, “Good heaven!” + </p> + <p> + “Answer me, then, these questions, in which I shall comprise the only + calamities for which sorrow has no controul, or none from human motives. + Tell me, then, have you lost by death the friend of your bosom?” + </p> + <p> + “No!” + </p> + <p> + “Is your fortune dissipated by extravagance, and your power of relieving + the distressed at an end?” + </p> + <p> + “No; the power and the will are I hope equally undiminished.” + </p> + <p> + “O then, unhappy girl! have you been guilty of some vice, and hangs + remorse thus heavy on your conscience?” + </p> + <p> + “No, no; thank heaven, to that misery, at least, I am a stranger!” + </p> + <p> + His countenance now again resumed its severity, and, in the sternest + manner, “Whence then,” he said, “these tears? and what is this caprice you + dignify with the name of sorrow?—strange wantonness of indolence and + luxury! perverse repining of ungrateful plenitude!—oh hadst thou + known what <i>I</i> have suffered!”— + </p> + <p> + “Could I lessen what you have suffered,” said Cecilia, “I should sincerely + rejoice; but heavy indeed must be your affliction, if mine in its + comparison deserves to be styled caprice!” + </p> + <p> + “Caprice!” repeated he, “'tis joy! 'tis extacy compared with mine!—Thou + hast not in licentiousness wasted thy inheritance! thou hast not by + remorse barred each avenue to enjoyment! nor yet has the cold grave seized + the beloved of thy soul!” + </p> + <p> + “Neither,” said Cecilia, “I hope, are the evils you have yourself + sustained so irremediable?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, I have borne them all!—<i>have</i> borne? I bear them still; I + shall bear them while I breathe! I may rue them, perhaps, yet longer.” + </p> + <p> + “Good God!” cried Cecilia, shrinking, “what a world is this! how full of + woe and wickedness!” + </p> + <p> + “Yet thou, too, canst complain,” cried he, “though happy in life's only + blessing, Innocence! thou, too, canst murmur, though stranger to death's + only terror, Sin! Oh yet if thy sorrow is unpolluted with guilt, be + regardless of all else, and rejoice in thy destiny!” + </p> + <p> + “But who,” cried she, deeply sighing, “shall teach me such a lesson of + joy, when all within rises to oppose it?” + </p> + <p> + “I,” cried he, “will teach it thee, for I will tell thee my own sad story. + Then wilt thou find how much happier is thy lot, then wilt thou raise thy + head in thankful triumph.” + </p> + <p> + “O no! triumph comes not so lightly! yet if you will venture to trust me + with some account of yourself, I shall be glad to hear it, and much + obliged by the communication.” + </p> + <p> + “I will,” he answered, “whatever I may suffer: to awaken thee from this + dream of fancied sorrow, I will open all my wounds, and thou shalt probe + them with fresh shame.” + </p> + <p> + “No, indeed,” cried Cecilia with quickness, “I will not hear you, if the + relation will be so painful.” + </p> + <p> + “Upon <i>me</i> this humanity is lost,” said he, “since punishment and + penitence alone give me comfort. I will tell thee, therefore, my crimes, + that thou mayst know thy own felicity, lest, ignorant it means nothing but + innocence, thou shouldst lose it, unconscious of its value. Listen then to + me, and learn what Misery is! Guilt is alone the basis of lasting + unhappiness;—Guilt is the basis of mine, and therefore I am a wretch + for ever!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia would again have declined hearing him, but he refused to be + spared: and as her curiosity had long been excited to know something of + his history, and the motives of his extraordinary conduct, she was glad to + have it satisfied, and gave him the utmost attention. + </p> + <p> + “I will not speak to you of my family,” said he; “historical accuracy + would little answer to either of us. I am a native of the West Indies, and + I was early sent hither to be educated. While I was yet at the University, + I saw, I adored, and I pursued the fairest flower that ever put forth its + sweet buds, the softest heart that ever was broken by ill-usage! She was + poor and unprotected, the daughter of a villager; she was untaught and + unpretending, the child of simplicity! But fifteen summers had she + bloomed, and her heart was an easy conquest; yet, once made mine, it + resisted all allurement to infidelity. My fellow students attacked her; + she was assaulted by all the arts of seduction; flattery, bribery, + supplication, all were employed, yet all failed; she was wholly my own; + and with sincerity so attractive, I determined to marry her in defiance of + all worldly objections. + </p> + <p> + “The sudden death of my father called me hastily to Jamaica; I feared + leaving this treasure unguarded, yet in decency could neither marry nor + take her directly; I pledged my faith, therefore, to return to her, as + soon as I had settled my affairs, and I left to a bosom friend the + inspection of her conduct in my absence. + </p> + <p> + “To leave her was madness,—to trust in man was madness,—Oh + hateful race! how has the world been abhorrent to me since that time! I + have loathed the light of the sun, I have shrunk from the commerce of my + fellow creatures; the voice of man I have detested, his sight I have + abominated!—but oh, more than all should I be abominated myself! + </p> + <p> + “When I came to my fortune, intoxicated with sudden power, I forgot this + fair blossom, I revelled in licentiousness and vice, and left it exposed + and forlorn. Riot succeeded riot, till a fever, incurred by my own + intemperance, first gave me time to think. Then was she revenged, for then + first remorse was my portion: her image was brought back to my mind with + frantic fondness, and bitterest contrition. The moment I recovered, I + returned to England; I flew to claim her,—but she was lost! no one + knew whither she was gone; the wretch I had trusted pretended to know + least of all; yet, after a furious search, I traced her to a cottage, + where he had concealed her himself! + </p> + <p> + “When she saw me, she screamed and would have flown; I stopt her, and told + her I came faithfully and honourably to make her my wife:—her own + faith and honour, though sullied, were not extinguished, for she instantly + acknowledged the fatal tale of her undoing! + </p> + <p> + “Did I recompense this ingenuousness? this unexampled, this beautiful + sacrifice to intuitive integrity? Yes! with my curses!—I loaded her + with execrations, I reviled her in language the most opprobrious, I + insulted her even for her confession! I invoked all evil upon her from the + bottom of my heart—She knelt at my feet, she implored my forgiveness + and compassion, she wept with the bitterness of despair,—and yet I + spurned her from me!—Spurned?—let me not hide my shame! I + barbarously struck her!—nor single was the blow!—it was + doubled, it was reiterated!—Oh wretch, unyielding and unpitying! + where shall hereafter be clemency for thee!—So fair a form! so young + a culprit! so infamously seduced! so humbly penitent! + </p> + <p> + “In this miserable condition, helpless and deplorable, mangled by these + savage hands, and reviled by this inhuman tongue, I left her, in search of + the villain who had destroyed her: but, cowardly as treacherous, he had + absconded. Repenting my fury, I hastened to her again; the fierceness of + my cruelty shamed me when I grew calmer, the softness of her sorrow melted + me upon recollection: I returned, therefore, to soothe her,—but + again she was gone! terrified with expectation of insult, she hid herself + from all my enquiries. I wandered in search of her two long years to no + purpose, regardless of my affairs, and of all things but that pursuit. At + length, I thought I saw her—in London, alone, and walking in the + streets at midnight,—I fearfully followed her,—and followed + her into an house of infamy! + </p> + <p> + “The wretches by whom she was surrounded were noisy and drinking, they + heeded me little,—but she saw and knew me at once! She did not + speak, nor did I,—but in two moments she fainted and fell. + </p> + <p> + “Yet did I not help her; the people took their own measures to recover + her, and when she was again able to stand, would have removed her to + another apartment. + </p> + <p> + “I then went forward, and forcing them away from her with all the strength + of desperation, I turned to the unhappy sinner, who to chance only seemed + to leave what became of her, and cried, From this scene of vice and horror + let me yet rescue you! you look still unfit for such society, trust + yourself, therefore, to me. I seized her hand, I drew, I almost dragged + her away. She trembled, she could scarce totter, but neither consented nor + refused, neither shed a tear, nor spoke a word, and her countenance + presented a picture of affright, amazement, and horror. + </p> + <p> + “I took her to a house in the country, each of us silent the whole way. I + gave her an apartment and a female attendant, and ordered for her every + convenience I could suggest. I stayed myself in the same house, but + distracted with remorse for the guilt and ruin into which I had terrified + her, I could not bear her sight. + </p> + <p> + “In a few days her maid assured me the life she led must destroy her; that + she would taste nothing but bread and water, never spoke, and never slept. + </p> + <p> + “Alarmed by this account, I flew into her apartment; pride and resentment + gave way to pity and fondness, and I besought her to take comfort. I + spoke, however, to a statue, she replied not, nor seemed to hear me. I + then humbled myself to her as in the days of her innocence and first + power, supplicating her notice, entreating even her commiseration! all was + to no purpose; she neither received nor repulsed me, and was alike + inattentive to exhortation and to prayer. + </p> + <p> + “Whole hours did I spend at her feet, vowing never to arise till she spoke + to me,—all, all, in vain! she seemed deaf, mute, insensible; her + face unmoved, a settled despair fixed in her eyes,—those eyes that + had never looked at me but with dove-like softness and compliance!—She + sat constantly in one chair, she never changed her dress, no persuasions + could prevail with her to lie down, and at meals she just swallowed so + much dry bread as might save her from dying for want of food. + </p> + <p> + “What was the distraction of my soul, to find her bent upon this course to + her last hour!—quick came that hour, but never will it be forgotten! + rapidly it was gone, but eternally it will be remembered! + </p> + <p> + “When she felt herself expiring, she acknowledged she had made a vow, upon + entering the house, to live speechless and motionless, as a pennance for + her offences! + </p> + <p> + “I kept her loved corpse till my own senses failed me,—it was then + only torn from me,—and I have lost all recollection of three years + of my existence!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia shuddered at this hint, yet was not surprised by it; Mr Gosport + had acquainted her he had been formerly confined; and his flightiness, + wildness, florid language, and extraordinary way of life, bad long led her + to suspect his reason had been impaired. + </p> + <p> + “The scene to which my memory first leads me back,” he continued, “is + visiting her grave; solemnly upon it I returned her vow, though not by one + of equal severity. To her poor remains did I pledge myself, that the day + should never pass in which I would receive nourishment, nor the night come + in which I would take rest, till I had done, or zealously attempted to do, + some service to a fellow-creature. + </p> + <p> + “For this purpose have I wandered from city to city, from the town to the + country, and from the rich to the poor. I go into every house where I can + gain admittance, I admonish all who will hear me, I shame even those who + will not. I seek the distressed where ever they are hid, I follow the + prosperous to beg a mite to serve them. I look for the Dissipated in + public, where, amidst their licentiousness, I check them; I pursue the + Unhappy in private, where I counsel and endeavour to assist them. My own + power is small; my relations, during my sufferings, limiting me to an + annuity; but there is no one I scruple to solicit, and by zeal I supply + ability. + </p> + <p> + “Oh life of hardship and pennance! laborious, toilsome, and restless! but + I have merited no better, and I will not repine at it; I have vowed that I + will endure it, and I will not be forsworn. + </p> + <p> + “One indulgence alone from time to time I allow myself,—'tis Music! + which has power to delight me even to rapture! it quiets all anxiety, it + carries me out of myself, I forget through it every calamity, even the + bitterest anguish. + </p> + <p> + “Now then, that thou hast heard me, tell me, hast <i>thou</i> cause of + sorrow?” + </p> + <p> + “Alas,” cried Cecilia, “this indeed is a Picture of Misery to make <i>my</i> + lot seem all happiness!” + </p> + <p> + “Art thou thus open to conviction?” cried he, mildly; “and dost thou not + fly the voice of truth! for truth and reproof are one.” + </p> + <p> + “No, I would rather seek it; I feel myself wretched, however inadequate + may be the cause; I wish to be more resigned, and if you can instruct me + how, I shall thankfully attend to you.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh yet uncorrupted creature!” cried he, “with joy will I be thy monitor,—joy + long untasted! Many have I wished to serve, all, hitherto, have rejected + my offices; too honest to flatter them, they had not the fortitude to + listen to me; too low to advance them, they had not the virtue to bear + with me. You alone have I yet found pure enough not to fear inspection, + and good enough to wish to be better. Yet words alone will not content me; + I must also have deeds. Nor will your purse, however readily opened, + suffice, you must give to me also your time and your thoughts; for money + sent by others, to others only will afford relief; to enlighten your own + cares, you must distribute it yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “You shall find me,” said she, “a docile pupil, and most glad to be + instructed how my existence may be useful.” + </p> + <p> + “Happy then,” cried he, “was the hour that brought me to this country; yet + not in search of you did I come, but of the mutable and ill-fated + Belfield. Erring, yet ingenious young man! what a lesson to the vanity of + talents, to the gaiety, the brilliancy of wit, is the sight of that green + fallen plant! not sapless by age, nor withered by disease, but destroyed + by want of pruning, and bending, breaking by its own luxuriance!” + </p> + <p> + “And where, Sir, is he now? + </p> + <p> + “Labouring wilfully in the field, with those who labour compulsatorily; + such are we all by nature, discontented, perverse, and changeable; though + all have not courage to appear so, and few, like Belfield, are worth + watching when they do. He told me he was happy; I knew it could not be: + but his employment was inoffensive, and I left him without reproach. In + this neighbourhood I heard of you, and found your name was coupled with + praise. I came to see if you deserved it; I have seen, and am satisfied.” + </p> + <p> + “You are not, then, very difficult, for I have yet done nothing. How are + we to begin these operations you propose? You have awakened me by them to + an expectation of pleasure, which nothing else, I believe, could just now + have given me.” + </p> + <p> + “We will work,” cried he, “together, till not a woe shall remain upon your + mind. The blessings of the fatherless, the prayers of little children, + shall heal all your wounds with balm of sweetest fragrance. When sad, they + shall cheer, when complaining, they shall soothe you. We will go to their + roofless houses, and see them repaired; we will exclude from their + dwellings the inclemency of the weather; we will clothe them from cold, we + will rescue them from hunger. The cries of distress shall be changed to + notes of joy: your heart shall be enraptured, mine, too, shall revive—oh + whither am I wandering? I am painting an Elysium! and while I idly speak, + some fainting object dies for want of succour! Farewell; I will fly to the + abodes of wretchedness, and come to you to-morrow to render them the + abodes of happiness.” + </p> + <p> + He then went away. + </p> + <p> + This singular visit was for Cecilia most fortunately timed: it almost + surprised her out of her peculiar grief, by the view which it opened to + her of general calamity; wild, flighty, and imaginative as were his + language and his counsels, their morality was striking, and their + benevolence was affecting. Taught by him to compare her state with that of + at least half her species, she began more candidly to weigh what was left + with what was withdrawn, and found the balance in her favour. The plan he + had presented to her of good works was consonant to her character and + inclinations; and the active charity in which he proposed to engage her, + re-animated her fallen hopes, though to far different subjects from those + which had depressed them. Any scheme of worldly happiness would have + sickened and disgusted her; but her mind was just in the situation to be + impressed with elevated piety, and to adopt any design in which virtue + humoured melancholy. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER ix. — A SHOCK. + </h2> + <p> + Cecelia passed the rest of the day in fanciful projects of beneficence; + she determined to wander with her romantic new ally whither-so-ever he + would lead her, and to spare neither fortune, time, nor trouble, in + seeking and relieving the distressed. Not all her attempted philosophy had + calmed her mind like this plan; in merely refusing indulgence to grief, + she had only locked it up in her heart, where eternally struggling for + vent, she was almost overpowered by restraining it; but now her affliction + had no longer her whole faculties to itself; the hope of doing good, the + pleasure of easing pain, the intention of devoting her time to the service + of the unhappy, once more delighted her imagination,—that source of + promissory enjoyment, which though often obstructed, is never, in youth, + exhausted. + </p> + <p> + She would not give Mrs Charlton the unnecessary pain of hearing the letter + with which she had been so, much affected, but she told her of the visit + of Albany, and pleased her with the account of their scheme. + </p> + <p> + At night, with less sadness than usual, she retired to rest. In her sleep + she bestowed riches, and poured plenty upon the land; she humbled the + oppressor, she exalted the oppressed; slaves were raised to dignities, + captives restored to liberty; beggars saw smiling abundance, and + wretchedness was banished the world. From a cloud in which she was + supported by angels, Cecilia beheld these wonders, and while enjoying the + glorious illusion, she was awakened by her maid, with news that Mrs + Charlton was dying! + </p> + <p> + She started up, and, undressed, was running to her apartment,—when + the maid, calling to stop her, confessed she was already dead! + </p> + <p> + She had made her exit in the night, but the time was not exactly known; + her own maid, who slept in the room with her, going early to her bedside + to enquire how she did, found her cold and motionless, and could only + conclude that a paralytic stroke had taken her off. + </p> + <p> + Happily and in good time had Cecilia been somewhat recruited by one night + of refreshing slumbers and flattering dreams, for the shock she now + received promised her not soon another. + </p> + <p> + She lost in Mrs Charlton a friend, whom nearly from her infancy she had + considered as a mother, and by whom she had been cherished with tenderness + almost unequalled. She was not a woman of bright parts, or much + cultivation, but her heart was excellent, and her disposition was amiable. + Cecilia had known her longer than her memory could look back, though the + earliest circumstances she could trace were kindnesses received from her. + Since she had entered into life, and found the difficulty of the part she + had to act, to this worthy old lady alone had she unbosomed her secret + cares. Though little assisted by her counsel, she was always certain of + her sympathy; and while her own superior judgment directed her conduct, + she had the relief of communicating her schemes, and weighing her + perplexities, with a friend to whom nothing that concerned her was + indifferent, and whose greatest wish and chief pleasure was the enjoyment + of her conversation. + </p> + <p> + If left to herself, in the present period of her life, Mrs Charlton had + certainly not been the friend of her choice. The delicacy of her mind, and + the refinement of her ideas, had now rendered her fastidious, and she + would have looked out for elegancies and talents to which Mrs Charlton had + no pretensions: but those who live in the country have little power of + selection; confined to a small circle, they must be content with what it + offers; and however they may idolize extraordinary merit when they meet + with it, they must not regard it as essential to friendship, for in their + circumscribed rotation, whatever may be their discontent, they can make + but little change. + </p> + <p> + Such had been the situation to which Mrs Charlton and Mrs Harrel owed the + friendship of Cecilia. Greatly their superior in understanding and + intelligence, had the candidates for her favour been more numerous, the + election had not fallen upon either of them. But she became known to both + before discrimination made her difficult, and when her enlightened mind + discerned their deficiencies, they had already an interest in her + affections, which made her see them with lenity: and though sometimes, + perhaps, conscious she should not have chosen them from many, she adhered + to them with sincerity, and would have changed them for none. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Harrel, however, too weak for similar sentiments, forgot her when out + of sight, and by the time they met again, was insensible to everything but + shew and dissipation. Cecilia, shocked and surprised, first grieved from + disappointed affection, and then lost that affection in angry contempt. + But her fondness for Mrs Charlton had never known abatement, as the + kindness which had excited it had never known allay. She had loved her + first from childish gratitude; but that love, strengthened and confirmed + by confidential intercourse, was now as sincere and affectionate as if it + had originated from sympathetic admiration. Her loss, therefore, was felt + with the utmost severity, and neither seeing nor knowing any means of + replacing it, she considered it as irreparable, and mourned it with + bitterness. + </p> + <p> + When the first surprize of this cruel stroke was somewhat lessened, she + sent an express to Mr Monckton with the news, and entreated to see him + immediately. He came without delay, and she begged his counsel what step + she ought herself to take in consequence of this event. Her own house was + still unprepared for her; she had of late neglected to hasten the workmen, + and almost forgotten her intention of entering it. It was necessary, + however, to change her abode immediately; she was no longer in the house + of Mrs Charlton, but of her grand-daughters and co-heiresses, each of whom + she disliked, and upon neither of whom she had any claim. + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton then, with the quickness of a man who utters a thought at the + very moment of its projection, mentioned a scheme upon which during his + whole ride he had been ruminating; which was that she would instantly + remove to his house, and remain there till settled to her satisfaction. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia objected her little right of surprising Lady Margaret; but, + without waiting to discuss it, lest new objections should arise, he + quitted her, to fetch himself from her ladyship an invitation he meant to + insist upon her sending. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, though heartily disliking this plan, knew not at present what + better to adopt, and thought anything preferable to going again to Mrs + Harrel, since that only could be done by feeding the anxiety of Mr Arnott. + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton soon returned with a message of his own fabrication; for his + lady, though obliged to receive whom he pleased, took care to guard + inviolate the independence of speech, sullenly persevering in refusing to + say anything, or perversely saying only what he least wished to hear. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then took a hasty leave of Miss Charltons, who, little affected by + what they had lost, and eager to examine what they had gained, parted from + her gladly, and, with a heavy heart and weeping eyes, borrowed for the + last time the carriage of her late worthy old friend, and for-ever + quitting her hospitable house, sorrowfully set out for the Grove. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + BOOK IX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER i. — A COGITATION. + </h2> + <p> + Lady Margaret Monckton received Cecilia with the most gloomy coldness: she + apologised for the liberty she had taken in making use of her ladyship's + house, but, meeting no return of civility, she withdrew to the room which + had been prepared for her, and resolved as much as possible to keep out of + her sight. + </p> + <p> + It now became necessary without further delay to settle her plan of life, + and fix her place of residence. The forbidding looks of Lady Margaret made + her hasten her resolves, which otherwise would for a while have given way + to grief for her recent misfortune. + </p> + <p> + She sent for the surveyor who had the superintendance of her estates, to + enquire how soon her own house would be fit for her reception; and heard + there was yet work for near two months. + </p> + <p> + This answer made her very uncomfortable. To continue two months under the + roof with Lady Margaret was a penance she could not enjoin herself, nor + was she at all sure Lady Margaret would submit to it any better: she + determined, therefore, to release herself from the conscious burthen of + being an unwelcome visitor, by boarding with some creditable family at + Bury, and devoting the two months in which she was to be kept from her + house, to a general arrangement of her affairs, and a final settling with + her guardians. + </p> + <p> + For these purposes it would be necessary she should go to London: but with + whom, or in what manner, she could not decide. She desired, therefore, + another conference with Mr Monckton, who met her in the parlour. + </p> + <p> + She then communicated to him her schemes; and begged his counsel in her + perplexities. + </p> + <p> + He was delighted at the application, and extremely well pleased with her + design of boarding at Bury, well knowing, he could then watch and visit + her at his pleasure, and have far more comfort in her society than even in + his own house, where all the vigilance with which he observed her, was + short of that with which he was himself observed by Lady Margaret. He + endeavoured, however, to dissuade her from going to town, but her + eagerness to pay the large sum she owed him, was now too great to be + conquered. Of age, her fortune wholly in her power, and all attendance + upon Mrs Charlton at an end, she had no longer any excuse for having a + debt in the world, and would suffer no persuasion to make her begin her + career in life, with a negligence in settling her accounts which she had + so often censured in others. To go to London therefore she was fixed, and + all that she desired was his advice concerning the journey. + </p> + <p> + He then told her that in order to settle with her guardians, she must + write to them in form, to demand an account of the sums that had been + expended during her minority, and announce her intention for the future to + take the management of her fortune into her own hands. + </p> + <p> + She immediately followed his directions, and consented to remain at the + Grove till their answers arrived. + </p> + <p> + Being now, therefore, unavoidably fixed for some time at the house, she + thought it proper and decent to attempt softening Lady Margaret in her + favour. She exerted all her powers to please and to oblige her; but the + exertion was necessarily vain, not only from the disposition, but the + situation of her ladyship, since every effort made for this conciliatory + purpose, rendered her doubly amiable in the eyes of her husband, and + consequently to herself more odious than ever. Her jealousy, already but + too well founded, received every hour the poisonous nourishment of fresh + conviction, which so much soured and exasperated a temper naturally harsh, + that her malignity and ill-humour grew daily more acrimonious. Nor would + she have contented herself with displaying this irascibility by general + moroseness, had not the same suspicious watchfulness which discovered to + her the passion of her husband, served equally to make manifest the + indifference and innocence of Cecilia; to reproach her therefore, she had + not any pretence, though her knowledge how much she had to dread her, past + current in her mind for sufficient reason to hate her. The Angry and the + Violent use little discrimination; whom they like, they enquire not if + they approve; but whoever, no matter how unwittingly, stands in their way, + they scruple not to ill use, and conclude they may laudably detest. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, though much disgusted, gave not over her attempt, which she + considered but as her due while she continued in her house. Her general + character, also, for peevishness and haughty ill-breeding, skilfully, from + time to time, displayed, and artfully repined at by Mr Monckton, still + kept her from suspecting any peculiar animosity to herself, and made her + impute all that passed to the mere rancour of ill-humour. She confined + herself, however, as much as possible to her own apartment, where her + sorrow for Mrs Charlton almost hourly increased, by the comparison she was + forced upon making of her house with the Grove. + </p> + <p> + That worthy old lady left her grand-daughters her co-heiresses and sole + executrixes. She bequeathed from them nothing considerable, though she + left some donations for the poor, and several of her friends were + remembered by small legacies. Among them Cecilia had her picture, and + favourite trinkets, with a paragraph in her will, that as there was no one + she so much loved, had her fortune been less splendid, she should have + shared with her grand-daughters whatever she had to bestow. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia was much affected by this last and solemn remembrance. She more + than ever coveted to be alone, that she might grieve undisturbed, and she + lamented without ceasing the fatigue and the illness which, in so late a + period, as it proved, of her life, she had herself been the means of + occasioning to her. + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton had too much prudence to interrupt this desire of solitude, + which indeed cost him little pain, as he considered her least in danger + when alone. She received in about a week answers from both her guardians. + Mr Delvile's letter was closely to the purpose, without a word but of + business, and couched in the haughtiest terms. As he had never, he said, + acted, he had no accounts to send in; but as he was going to town in a few + days, he would see her for a moment in the presence of Mr Briggs, that a + joint release might be signed, to prevent any future application to him. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia much lamented there was any necessity for her seeing him at all, + and looked forward to the interview as the greatest mortification she + could suffer. + </p> + <p> + Mr Briggs, though still more concise, was far kinder in his language: but + he advised her to defer her scheme of taking the money into her own hands, + assuring her she would be cheated, and had better leave it to him. + </p> + <p> + When she communicated these epistles to Mr Monckton, he failed not to + read, with an emphasis, by which his arrogant meaning was still more + arrogantly enforced, the letter of Mr Delvile aloud. Nor was he sparing in + comments that might render it yet more offensive. Cecilia neither + concurred in what he said, nor opposed it, but contented herself, when he + was silent, with producing the other letter. + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton read not this with more favour. He openly attacked the + character of Briggs, as covetous, rapacious, and over-reaching, and warned + her by no means to abide by his counsel, without first taking the opinion + of some disinterested person. He then stated the various arts which might + be practised upon her inexperience, enumerated the dangers to which her + ignorance of business exposed her, and annotated upon the cheats, double + dealings, and tricks of stock jobbing, to which he assured her Mr Briggs + owed all he was worth, till, perplexed and confounded, she declared + herself at a loss how to proceed, and earnestly regretted that she could + not have his counsel upon the spot. + </p> + <p> + This was his aim: to draw the wish from her, drew all suspicion of selfish + views from himself: and he told her that he considered her present + situation as so critical, the future confusion or regularity of her money + transactions seeming to depend upon it, that he would endeavour to arrange + his affairs for meeting her in London. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia gave him many thanks for the kind intention, and determined to be + totally guided by him in the disposal and direction of her fortune. + </p> + <p> + Mean time he had now another part to act; he saw that with Cecilia nothing + more remained to be done, and that, harbouring not a doubt of his motives, + she thought his design in her favour did her nothing but honour; but he + had too much knowledge of the world to believe it would judge him in the + same manner, and too much consciousness of duplicity to set its judgment + at defiance. + </p> + <p> + To parry, therefore, the conjectures which might follow his attending her, + he had already prepared Lady Margaret to wish herself of the party: for + however disagreeable to him was her presence and her company, he had no + other means to be under the same roof with Cecilia. + </p> + <p> + Miss Bennet, the wretched tool of his various schemes, and the mean + sycophant of his lady, had been employed by him to work upon her jealousy, + by secretly informing her of his intention to go to town, at the same time + that Cecilia went thither to meet her guardians. She pretended to have + learned this intelligence by accident, and to communicate it from + respectful regard; and advised her to go to London herself at the same + time, that she might see into his designs, and be some check upon his + pleasure. + </p> + <p> + The encreasing infirmities of Lady Margaret made this counsel by no means + palatable: but Miss Bennet, following the artful instructions which she + received, put in her way so strong a motive, by assuring her how little + her company was wished, that in the madness of her spite she determined + upon the journey. And little heeding how she tormented herself while she + had any view of tormenting Mr Monckton, she was led on by her false + confident to invite Cecilia to her own house. + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton, in whom by long practice, artifice was almost nature, well + knowing his wife's perverseness, affected to look much disconcerted at the + proposal; while Cecilia, by no means thinking it necessary to extend her + compliance to such a punishment, instantly made an apology, and declined + the invitation. + </p> + <p> + Lady Margaret, little versed in civility, and unused to the arts of + persuasion, could not, even for a favourite project, prevail upon herself + to use entreaty, and therefore, thinking her scheme defeated, looked + gloomily disappointed, and said nothing more. + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton saw with delight how much this difficulty inflamed her, though + the moment he could speak alone with Cecilia he made it his care to remove + it. + </p> + <p> + He represented to her that, however privately she might live, she was too + young to be in London lodgings by herself, and gave an hint which she + could not but understand, that in going or in staying with only servants, + suspicions might soon be raised, that the plan and motive of her journey + were different to those given out. + </p> + <p> + She knew he meant to insinuate that it would be conjectured she designed + to meet Delvile, and though colouring, vext and provoked at the + suggestion, the idea was sufficient to frighten her into his plan. + </p> + <p> + In a few days, therefore, the matter was wholly arranged, Mr Monckton, by + his skill and address, leading every one whither he pleased, while, by the + artful coolness of his manner, he appeared but to follow himself. He [set] + out the day before, though earnestly wishing to accompany them, but having + as yet in no single instance gone to town in the same carriage with Lady + Margaret, he dared trust neither the neighbourhood nor the servants with + so dangerous a subject for their comments. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, compelled thus to travel with only her Ladyship and Miss Bennet, + had a journey the most disagreeable, and determined, if possible, to stay + in London but two days. She had already fixed upon a house in which she + could board at Bury when she returned, and there she meant quietly to + reside till she could enter her own. + </p> + <p> + Lady Margaret herself, exhilarated by a notion of having outwitted her + husband, was in unusual good spirits, and almost in good humour. The idea + of thwarting his designs, and being in the way of his entertainment, gave + to her a delight she had seldom received from any thing; and the belief + that this was effected by the superiority of her cunning, doubled her + contentment, and raised it to exultation. She owed him, indeed, much + provocation and uneasiness, and was happy in this opportunity of paying + her arrears. + </p> + <p> + Mean while that consummate master in every species of hypocrisy, indulged + her in this notion, by the air of dissatisfaction with which he left the + house. It was not that she meant by her presence to obviate any + impropriety: early and long acquainted with the character of Cecilia, she + well knew, that during her life the passion of her husband must be + confined to his own breast: but conscious of his aversion to herself, + which she resented with the bitterest ill-will, and knowing how little, at + any time, he desired her company, she consoled herself for her inability + to give pleasure by the power she possessed of giving pain, and bore with + the fatigue of a journey disagreeable and inconvenient to her, with no + other view than the hope of breaking into his plan of avoiding her. Little + imagining that the whole time she was forwarding his favourite pursuit, + and only acting the part which he had appointed her to perform. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER ii. — A SURPRIZE. + </h2> + <p> + Lady Margaret's town house was in Soho Square; and scarcely had Cecilia + entered it, before her desire to speed her departure, made her send a note + to each of her guardians, acquainting them of her arrival, and begging, if + possible, to see them the next day. + </p> + <p> + She had soon the two following answers: + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Cecilia Beverley,——These November</i> 8, 1779. + Miss,—Received yours of the same date; can't come tomorrow. Will, + Wednesday the 10th.—Am, &c., Jno. Briggs. + </p> + <p> + Miss Cecilia Beverley + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Beverley</i>. + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile has too many affairs of importance upon his hands, to make any + appointment till he has deliberated how to arrange them. Mr Delvile will + acquaint Miss Beverley when it shall be in his power to see her. + </p> + <p> + St James's-square, <i>Nov</i> 8. + </p> + <p> + These characteristic letters, which at another time might have diverted + Cecilia, now merely served to torment her. She was eager to quit town, she + was more eager to have her meeting with Mr Delvile over, who, oppressive + to her even when he meant to be kind, she foresaw, now he was in wrath, + would be imperious even to rudeness. Desirous, however, to make one + interview suffice for both, and to settle whatever business might remain + unfinished by letters, she again wrote to Mr Briggs, whom she had not + spirits to encounter without absolute necessity, and informing him of Mr + Delvile's delay, begged he would not trouble himself to call till he heard + from her again. + </p> + <p> + Two days passed without any message from them; they were spent chiefly + alone, and very uncomfortably, Mr Monckton being content to see little of + her, while he knew she saw nothing of any body else. On the third morning, + weary of her own thoughts, weary of Lady Margaret's ill-humoured looks, + and still more weary of Miss Bennet's parasitical conversation, she + determined, for a little relief to the heaviness of her mind, to go to her + bookseller, and look over and order into the country such new publications + as seemed to promise her any pleasure. + </p> + <p> + She sent therefore, for a chair, and glad to have devised for herself any + amusement, set out in it immediately. + </p> + <p> + Upon entering the shop, she saw the Bookseller engaged in close conference + with a man meanly dressed, and much muffled up, who seemed talking to him + with uncommon earnestness, and just as she was approaching, said, “To + terms I am indifferent, for writing is no labour to me; on the contrary, + it is the first delight of my life, and therefore, and not for dirty pelf, + I wish to make it my profession.” + </p> + <p> + The speech struck Cecilia, but the voice struck her more, it was + Belfield's! and her amazement was so great, that she stopt short to look + at him, without heeding a man who attended her, and desired to know her + commands. + </p> + <p> + The bookseller now perceiving her, came forward, and Belfield, turning to + see who interrupted them, started as if a spectre had crossed his eyes, + slapped his hat over his face, and hastily went out of the shop. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia checking her inclination to speak to him, from observing his + eagerness to escape her, soon recollected her own errand, and employed + herself in looking over new books. + </p> + <p> + Her surprize, however, at a change so sudden in the condition of this + young man, and at a declaration of a passion for writing, so opposite to + all the sentiments which he had professed at their late meeting in the + cottage, awakened in her a strong curiosity to be informed of his + situation; and after putting aside some books which she desired to have + packed up for her, she asked if the gentleman who had just left the shop, + and who, she found by what he had said, was an Author, had written + anything that was published with his name? + </p> + <p> + “No, ma'am,” answered the Bookseller, “nothing of any consequence; he is + known, however, to have written several things that have appeared as + anonymous; and I fancy, now, soon, we shall see something considerable + from him.” + </p> + <p> + “He is about some great work, then?” + </p> + <p> + “Why no, not exactly that, perhaps, at present; we must feel our way, with + some little smart <i>jeu d'esprit</i> before we undertake a great work. + But he is a very great genius, and I doubt not will produce something + extraordinary.” + </p> + <p> + “Whatever he produces,” said Cecilia, “as I have now chanced to see him, I + shall be glad you will, at any time, send to me.” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly, ma'am; but it must be among other things, for he does not + chuse, just now to be known; and it is a rule in our business never to + tell people's names when they desire to be secret. He is a little out of + cash, just now, as you may suppose by his appearance, so instead of buying + books, he comes to sell them. However, he has taken a very good road to + bring himself home again, for we pay very handsomely for things of any + merit, especially if they deal smartly in a few touches of the times.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia chose not to risk any further questions, lest her knowledge of him + should be suspected, but got into her chair, and returned to Lady + Margaret's. + </p> + <p> + The sight of Belfield reminded her not only of himself; the gentle + Henrietta again took her place in her memory, whence her various + distresses and suspences had of late driven from it everybody but Delvile, + and those whom Delvile brought into it. But her regard for that amiable + girl, though sunk in the busy scenes of her calamitous uncertainties, was + only sunk in her own bosom, and ready, upon their removal, to revive with + fresh vigour. She was now indeed more unhappy than even in the period of + her forgetfulness, yet her mind, was no longer filled with the restless + turbulence of hope, which still more than despondency unfitted it for + thinking of others. + </p> + <p> + This remembrance thus awakened, awakened also a desire of renewing the + connection so long neglected. All scruples concerning Delvile had now lost + their foundation, since the doubts from which they arose were both + explained and removed: she was certain alike of his indifference to + Henrietta, and his separation from herself; she knew that nothing was to + be feared from painful or offensive rivalry, and she resolved, therefore, + to lose no time in seeking the first pleasure to which since her + disappointment she had voluntarily looked forward. + </p> + <p> + Early in the evening, she told Lady Margaret she was going out for an hour + or two, and sending again for a chair, was carried to Portland-street. + </p> + <p> + She enquired for Miss Belfield, and was shewn into a parlour, where she + found her drinking tea with her mother, and Mr Hobson, their landlord. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta almost screamed at her sight, from a sudden impulse of joy and + surprize, and, running up to her, flung her arms round her neck, and + embraced her with the most rapturous emotion: but then, drawing back with + a look of timidity and shame, she bashfully apologized for her freedom, + saying, “Indeed, dearest Miss Beverley, it is no want of respect, but I am + so very glad to see you it makes me quite forget myself!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, charmed at a reception so ingenuously affectionate, soon + satisfied her doubting diffidence by the warmest thanks that she had + preserved so much regard for her, and by doubling the kindness with which + she returned her caresses. + </p> + <p> + “Mercy on me, madam,” cried Mrs Belfield, who during this time had been + busily employed in sweeping the hearth, wiping some slops upon the table, + and smoothing her handkerchief and apron, “why the girl's enough to + smother you. Henny, how can you be so troublesome? I never saw you behave + in this way before.” + </p> + <p> + “Miss Beverley, madam,” said Henrietta, again retreating, “is so kind as + to pardon me, and I was so much surprised at seeing her, that I hardly + knew what I was about.” + </p> + <p> + “The young ladies, ma'am,” said Mr Hobson, “have a mighty way of saluting + one another till such time as they get husbands: and then I'll warrant you + they can meet without any salutation at all. That's my remark, at least, + and what I've seen of the world has set me upon making it.” + </p> + <p> + This speech led Cecilia to check, however artless, the tenderness of her + fervent young friend, whom she was much teized by meeting in such company, + but who seemed not to dare understand the frequent looks which she gave + her expressive of a wish to be alone with her. + </p> + <p> + “Come, ladies,” continued the facetious Mr Hobson, “what if we were all to + sit down, and have a good dish of tea? and suppose, Mrs Belfield, you was + to order us a fresh round of toast and butter? do you think the young + ladies here would have any objection? and what if we were to have a little + more water in the tea-kettle? not forgetting a little more tea in the + teapot. What I say is this, let us all be comfortable; that's my notion of + things.” + </p> + <p> + “And a very good notion too,” said Mrs Belfield, “for you who have nothing + to vex you. Ah, ma'am, you have heard, I suppose, about my son? gone off! + nobody knows where! left that lord's house, where he might have lived like + a king, and gone out into the wide world nobody knows for what!” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed?” said Cecilia, who, from seeing him in London concluded he was + again with his family, “and has he not acquainted you where he is?” + </p> + <p> + “No, ma'am, no,” cried Mrs Belfield, “he's never once told me where he is + gone, nor let me know the least about the matter, for if I did I would not + taste a dish of tea again for a twelvemonth till I saw him get back again + to that lord's! and I believe in my heart there's never such another in + the three kingdoms, for he has sent here after him I dare say a score of + times. And no wonder, for I will take upon me to say he won't find his + fellow in a hurry, Lord as he is.” + </p> + <p> + “As to his being a Lord,” said Mr Hobson, “I am one of them that lay no + great stress upon that, unless he has got a good long purse of his own, + and then, to be sure, a Lord's no bad thing. But as to the matter of + saying Lord such a one, how d'ye do? and Lord such a one, what do you + want? and such sort of compliments, why in my mind, it's a mere nothing, + in comparison of a good income. As to your son, ma'am, he did not go the + right way to work. He should have begun with business, and gone into + pleasure afterwards and if he had but done that, I'll be bold to say we + might have had him at this very minute drinking tea with us over this + fireside.” + </p> + <p> + “My son, Sir,” said Mrs Belfield, rather angrily, “was another sort of a + person than a person of business: he always despised it from a child, and + come of it what may, I am sure he was born to be a gentleman.” + </p> + <p> + “As to his despising business,” said Mr Hobson, very contemptuously, “why + so much the worse, for business is no such despiseable thing. And if he + had been brought up behind a counter, instead of dangling after these same + Lords, why he might have had a house of his own over his head, and been as + good a man as myself.” + </p> + <p> + “A house over his head?” said Mrs Belfield, “why he might have had what he + would, and have done what he would, if he had but followed my advice, and + put himself a little forward. I have told him a hundred times to ask some + of those great people he lived amongst for a place at court, for I know + they've so many they hardly know what to do with them, and it was always + my design from the beginning that he should be something of a great man; + but I never could persuade him, though, for anything I know, as I have + often told him, if he had but had a little courage he might have been an + Ambassador by this time. And now, all of a sudden, to be gone nobody knows + where!”— + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry, indeed,” said Cecilia, who knew not whether most to pity or + wonder at her blind folly; “but I doubt not you will hear of him soon.” + </p> + <p> + “As to being an Ambassador, ma'am,” said Mr Hobson, “it's talking quite + out of character. Those sort of great people keep things of that kind for + their own poor relations and cousins. What I say is this; a man's best way + is to take care of himself. The more those great people see you want them, + the less they like your company. Let every man be brought up to business, + and then when he's made his fortune, he may walk with his hat on. Why now + there was your friend, ma'am,” turning to Cecilia, “that shot out his + brains without paying any body a souse; pray how was that being more + genteel than standing behind a counter, and not owing a shilling?” + </p> + <p> + “Do you think a young lady,” cried Mrs Belfield warmly, “can bear to hear + of such a thing as standing behind a counter? I am sure if my son had ever + done it, I should not expect any lady would so much as look at him, And + yet, though I say it, she might look a good while, and not see many such + persons, let her look where she pleased. And then he has such a winning + manner into the bargain, that I believe in my heart there's never a lady + in the land could say no to him. And yet he has such a prodigious shyness, + I never could make him own he had so much as asked the question. And what + lady can begin first?” + </p> + <p> + “Why no,” said Mr Hobson, “that would be out of character another way. Now + my notion is this; let every man be agreeable! and then he may ask what + lady he pleases. And when he's a mind of a lady, he should look upon a + frown or two as nothing; for the ladies frown in courtship as a thing of + course; it's just like a man swearing at a coachman; why he's not a bit + more in a passion, only he thinks he sha'n't be minded without it.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, for my part,” said Mrs Belfield, “I am sure if I was a young lady, + and most especially if I was a young lady of fortune, and all that, I + should like a modest young gentleman, such as my son, for example, better + by half than a bold swearing young fellow, that would make a point to have + me whether I would or no.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha! Ha! Ha!” cried Mr Hobson; “but the young ladies are not of that way + of thinking; they are all for a little life and spirit. Don't I say right, + young ladies?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who could not but perceive that these speeches was levelled at + herself, felt offended and tired; and finding she had no chance of any + private conversation with Henrietta, arose to take leave: but while she + stopped in the passage to enquire when she could see her alone, a footman + knocked at the door, who, having asked if Mr Belfield lodged there, and + been answered in the affirmative; begged to know whether Miss Beverley was + then in the house? + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, much surprised, went forward, and told him who she was. + </p> + <p> + “I have been, madam,” said he, “with a message to you at Mr Monckton's, in + Soho-Square: but nobody knew where you was; and Mr Monckton came out and + spoke to me himself, and said that all he could suppose was that you might + be at this house. So he directed me to come here.” + </p> + <p> + “And from whom, Sir, is your message?” + </p> + <p> + “From the honourable Mr Delvile, madam, in St James's-Square. He desires + to know if you shall be at home on Saturday morning, the day after + to-morrow, and whether you can appoint Mr Briggs to meet him by twelve + o'clock exactly, as he sha'n't be able to stay above three minutes.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia gave an answer as cold as the message; that she would be in + Soho-Square at the time he mentioned, and acquaint Mr Briggs of his + intention. + </p> + <p> + The footman then went away; and Henrietta told her, that if she could call + some morning she might perhaps contrive to be alone with her, and added, + “indeed I wish much to see you, if you could possibly do me so great an + honour; for I am very miserable, and have nobody to tell so! Ah, Miss + Beverley! you that have so many friends, and that deserve as many again, + you little know what a hard thing it is to have none!—but my + brother's strange disappearing has half broke our hearts!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia was beginning a consolatory speech, in which she meant to give her + private assurances of his health and safety, when she was interrupted by + Mr Albany, who came suddenly into the passage. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta received him with a look of pleasure, and enquired why he had so + long been absent; but, surprised by the sight of Cecilia, he exclaimed, + without answering her, “why didst thou fail me? why appoint me to a place + thou wert quitting thyself?—thou thing of fair professions! thou + inveigler of esteem! thou vain, delusive promiser of pleasure!” + </p> + <p> + “You condemn me too hastily,” said Cecilia; “if I failed in my promise, it + was not owing to caprice or insincerity, but to a real and bitter + misfortune which incapacitated me from keeping it. I shall soon, however,—nay, + I am already at your disposal, if you have any commands for me.” + </p> + <p> + “I have always,” answered he, “commands for the rich, for I have always + compassion for the poor.” + </p> + <p> + “Come to me, then, at Mr Monckton's in Soho-Square,” cried she, and + hastened into her chair, impatient to end a conference which she saw + excited the wonder of the servants, and which also now drew out from the + parlour Mr Hobson and Mrs Belfield. She then kissed her hand to Henrietta, + and ordered the chairmen to carry her home. + </p> + <p> + It had not been without difficulty that she had restrained herself from + mentioning what she knew of Belfield, when she found his mother and sister + in a state of such painful uncertainty concerning him. But her utter + ignorance of his plans, joined to her undoubted knowledge of his wish of + concealment, made her fear doing mischief by officiousness, and think it + wiser not to betray what she had seen of him, till better informed of his + own views and intentions. Yet, willing to shorten a suspence so uneasy to + them, she determined to entreat Mr Monckton would endeavour to find him + out, and acquaint him with their anxiety. + </p> + <p> + That gentleman, when she returned to his house, was in a state of mind by + no means enviable. Missing her at tea, he had asked Miss Bennet where she + was, and hearing she had not left word, he could scarce conceal his + chagrin. Knowing, however, how few were her acquaintances in town, he soon + concluded she was with Miss Belfield, but, not satisfied with sending Mr + Delvile's messenger after her, he privately employed one in whom he + trusted for himself, to make enquiries at the house without saying whence + he came. + </p> + <p> + But though this man was returned, and he knew her safety, he still felt + alarmed; he had flattered himself, from the length of time in which she + had now done nothing without consulting him, she would scarce even think + of any action without his previous concurrence. And he had hoped, by a + little longer use, to make his counsel become necessary, which he knew to + be a very short step from rendering it absolute. + </p> + <p> + Nor was he well pleased to perceive, by this voluntary excursion, a + struggle to cast off her sadness, and a wish to procure herself + entertainment: it was not that he desired her misery, but he was earnest + that all relief from it should spring from himself: and though far from + displeased that Delvile should lose his sovereignty over her thoughts, he + was yet of opinion that, till his own liberty was restored, he had less to + apprehend from grief indulged, than grief allayed; one could but lead her + to repining retirement, the other might guide her to a consolatory rival. + </p> + <p> + He well knew, however, it was as essential to his cause to disguise his + disappointments as his expectations, and, certain that by pleasing alone + he had any chance of acquiring power, he cleared up when Cecilia returned, + who as unconscious of feeling, as of owing any subjection to him, + preserved uncontrolled the right of acting for herself, however desirous + and glad of occasional instruction. + </p> + <p> + She told him where she had been, and related her meeting Belfield, and the + unhappiness of his friends, and hinted her wish that he could be informed + what they suffered. Mr Monckton, eager to oblige her, went instantly in + search of him, and returning to supper, told her he had traced him through + the Bookseller, who had not the dexterity to parry his artful enquiries, + and had actually appointed him to breakfast in Soho-Square the next + morning. + </p> + <p> + He had found him, he said, writing, but in high spirits and good humour. + He had resisted, for a while, his invitation on account of his dress, all + his clothes but the very coat which he had on being packed up and at his + mother's: but, when laughed at by Mr Monckton for still retaining some + foppery, he gaily protested what remained of it should be extinguished; + and acknowledging that his shame was no part of his philosophy, declared + he would throw it wholly aside, and, in spite of his degradation, renew + his visits at his house. + </p> + <p> + “I would not tell him,” Mr Monckton continued, “of the anxiety of his + family; I thought it would come more powerfully from yourself, who, having + seen, can better enforce it.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia was very thankful for this compliance with her request, and + anticipated the pleasure she hoped soon to give Henrietta, by the + restoration of a brother so much loved and so regretted. + </p> + <p> + She sent, mean time, to Mr Briggs the message she had received from Mr + Delvile, and had the satisfaction of an answer that he would observe the + appointment. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER iii. — A CONFABULATION. + </h2> + <p> + The next morning, while the family was at breakfast, Belfield, according + to his promise, made his visit. + </p> + <p> + A high colour overspread his face as he entered the room, resulting from a + sensation of grief at his fallen fortune, and shame at his altered + appearance, which though he endeavoured to cover under an air of gaiety + and unconcern, gave an awkwardness to his manners, and a visible distress + to his countenance: Mr Monckton received him with pleasure, and Cecilia, + who saw the conflict of his philosophy with his pride, dressed her + features once more in smiles, which however faint and heartless, shewed + her desire to reassure him. Miss Bennet, as usual when not called upon by + the master or lady of the house, sat as a cypher; and Lady Margaret, + always disagreeable and repulsive to the friends of her husband, though + she was not now more than commonly ungracious, struck the quick-feeling + and irritable Belfield, to wear an air of rude superiority meant to + reproach him with his disgrace. + </p> + <p> + This notion, which strongly affected him, made him, for one instant, + hesitate whether he should remain another in the same room with her: but + the friendliness of Mr Monckton, and the gentleness and good breeding of + Cecilia, seemed so studious to make amends for her moroseness, that he + checked his too ready indignation, and took his seat at the table. Yet was + it some time before he could recover even the assumed vivacity which this + suspected insult had robbed him of, sufficiently to enter into + conversation with any appearance of ease or pleasure. But, after a while, + soothed by the attentions of Cecilia and Mr Monckton, his uneasiness wore + off, and the native spirit and liveliness of his character broke forth + with their accustomed energy. + </p> + <p> + “This good company, I hope,” said he, addressing himself, however, only to + Cecilia, “will not so much <i>mistake the thing</i> as to criticise my + dress of this morning; since it is perfectly according to rule, and to + rule established from time immemorial: but lest any of you should so much + err as to fancy shabby what is only characteristic, I must endeavour to be + beforehand with the malice of conjecture, and have the honour to inform + you, that I am enlisted in the Grub-street regiment, of the third story, + and under the tattered banner of scribbling volunteers! a race which, if + it boasts not the courage of heroes, at least equals them in enmity. This + coat, therefore, is merely the uniform of my corps, and you will all, I + hope, respect it as emblematical of wit and erudition.” + </p> + <p> + “We must at least respect you,” said Cecilia, “who thus gaily can sport + with it.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, madam!” said he, more seriously, “it is not from you I ought to look + for respect! I must appear to you the most unsteady and coward-hearted of + beings. But lately I blushed to see you from poverty, though more worthily + employed than when I had been seen by you in affluence; that shame + vanquished, another equally narrow took its place, and yesterday I blushed + again that you detected me in a new pursuit, though I had only quitted my + former one from a conviction it was ill chosen. There seems in human + nature a worthlessness not to be conquered! yet I will struggle with it to + the last, and either die in the attempt, or dare seem that which I am, + without adding to the miseries of life, the sting, the envenomed sting of + dastardly false shame!” + </p> + <p> + “Your language is wonderfully altered within this twelvemonth,” said Mr + Monckton; “<i>the worthlessness of human nature</i>! the <i>miseries of + life</i>! this from you! so lately the champion of human nature, and the + panegyrist of human life!” + </p> + <p> + “Soured by personal disappointment,” answered he, “I may perhaps speak + with too much acrimony; yet, ultimately, my opinions have not much + changed. Happiness is given to us with more liberality than we are willing + to confess; it is judgment only that is dealt us sparingly, and of that we + have so little, that when felicity is before us, we turn to the right or + left, or when at the right or left, we proceed strait forward. It has been + so with me; I have sought it at a distance, amidst difficulty and danger, + when all that I could wish has been immediately within my grasp.” + </p> + <p> + “It must be owned,” said Mr Monckton, “after what you have suffered from + this world you were wont to defend, there is little reason to wonder at + some change in your opinion.” + </p> + <p> + “Yet whatever have been my sufferings,” he answered, “I have generally + been involved in them by my own rashness or caprice. My last enterprise + especially, from which my expectations were highest, was the most + ill-judged of any. I considered not how little my way of life had fitted + me for the experiment I was making, how irreparably I was enervated by + long sedentary habits, and how insufficient for bodily strength was mental + resolution. We may fight against partial prejudices, and by spirit and + fortitude we may overcome them; but it will not do to war with the general + tenor of education. We may blame, despise, regret as we please, but + customs long established, and habits long indulged, assume an empire + despotic, though their power is but prescriptive. Opposing them is vain; + Nature herself, when forced aside, is not more elastic in her rebound.” + </p> + <p> + “Will you not then,” said Cecilia, “since your experiment has failed, + return again to your family, and to the plan of life you formerly + settled?” + </p> + <p> + “You speak of them together,” said he, with a smile, “as if you thought + them inseparable; and indeed my own apprehension they would be deemed so, + has made me thus fear to see my friends, since I love not resistance, yet + cannot again attempt the plan of life they would have me pursue. I have + given up my cottage, but my independence is as dear to me as ever; and all + that I have gathered from experience, is to maintain it by those + employments for which my education has fitted me, instead of seeking it + injudiciously by the very road for which it has unqualified me.” + </p> + <p> + “And what is this independence,” cried Mr Monckton, “which has thus + bewitched your imagination? a mere idle dream of romance and enthusiasm; + without existence in nature, without possibility in life. In uncivilised + countries, or in lawless times, independence, for a while, may perhaps + stalk abroad; but in a regular government, 'tis only the vision of a + heated brain; one part of a community must inevitably hang upon another, + and 'tis a farce to call either independent, when to break the chain by + which they are linked would prove destruction to both. The soldier wants + not the officer more than the officer the soldier, nor the tenant the + landlord, more than the landlord the tenant. The rich owe their + distinction, their luxuries, to the poor, as much as the poor owe their + rewards, their necessaries, to the rich.” + </p> + <p> + “Man treated as an Automaton,” answered Belfield, “and considered merely + with respect to his bodily operations, may indeed be called dependent, + since the food by which he lives, or, rather, without which he dies, + cannot wholly be cultivated and prepared by his own hands: but considered + in a nobler sense, he deserves not the degrading epithet; speak of him, + then, as a being of feeling and understanding, with pride to alarm, with + nerves to tremble, with honour to satisfy, and with a soul to be immortal!—as + such, may he not claim the freedom of his own thoughts? may not that claim + be extended to the liberty of speaking, and the power of being governed by + them? and when thoughts, words, and actions are exempt from controul, will + you brand him with dependency merely because the Grazier feeds his meat, + and the Baker kneads his bread?” + </p> + <p> + “But who is there in the whole world,” said Mr Monckton, “extensive as it + is, and dissimilar as are its inhabitants, that can pretend to assert, his + thoughts, words, and actions, are exempt from controul? even where + interest, which you so much disdain, interferes not,—though where + that is I confess I cannot tell!—are we not kept silent where we + wish to reprove by the fear of offending? and made speak where we wish to + be silent by the desire of obliging? do we not bow to the scoundrel as low + as to the man of honour? are we not by mere forms kept standing when + tired? made give place to those we despise? and smiles to those we hate? + or if we refuse these attentions, are we not regarded as savages, and shut + out of society?” + </p> + <p> + “All these,” answered Belfield, “are so merely matters of ceremony, that + the concession can neither cost pain to the proud, nor give pleasure to + the vain. The bow is to the coat, the attention is to the rank, and the + fear of offending ought to extend to all mankind. Homage such as this + infringes not our sincerity, since it is as much a matter of course as the + dress that we wear, and has as little reason to flatter a man as the + shadow which follows him. I no more, therefore, hold him deceitful for not + opposing this pantomimical parade, than I hold him to be dependent for + eating corn he has not sown.” + </p> + <p> + “Where, then, do you draw the line? and what is the boundary beyond which + your independence must not step?” + </p> + <p> + “I hold that man,” cried he, with energy, “to be independent, who treats + the Great as the Little, and the Little as the Great, who neither exults + in riches nor blushes in poverty, who owes no man a groat, and who spends + not a shilling he has not earned.” + </p> + <p> + “You will not, indeed, then, have a very numerous acquaintance, if this is + the description of those with whom you purpose to associate! but is it + possible you imagine you can live by such notions? why the Carthusian in + his monastery, who is at least removed from temptation, is not mortified + so severely as a man of spirit living in the world, who would prescribe + himself such rules.” + </p> + <p> + “Not merely have I prescribed,” returned Belfield, “I have already put + them in practice; and far from finding any pennance, I never before found + happiness. I have now adopted, though poor, the very plan of life I should + have elected if rich; my pleasure, therefore, is become my business, and + my business my pleasure.” + </p> + <p> + “And is this plan,” cried Monckton, “nothing more than turning + Knight-errant to the Booksellers?” + </p> + <p> + “'Tis a Knight-errantry,” answered Belfield, laughing, “which, however + ludicrous it may seem to you, requires more soul and more brains than any + other. Our giants may, indeed, be only windmills, but they must be + attacked with as much spirit, and conquered with as much bravery, as any + fort or any town, in time of war [to] be demolished; and though the siege, + I must confess, may be of less national utility, the assailants of the + quill have their honour as much at heart as the assailants of the sword.” + </p> + <p> + “I suppose then,” said Monckton, archly, “if a man wants a biting lampoon, + or an handsome panegyric, some newspaper scandal, or a sonnet for a lady—” + </p> + <p> + “No, no,” interrupted Belfield eagerly, “if you imagine me a hireling + scribbler for the purposes of defamation or of flattery, you as little + know my situation as my character. My subjects shall be my own, and my + satire shall be general. I would as much disdain to be personal with an + anonymous pen, as to attack an unarmed man in the dark with a dagger I had + kept concealed.” + </p> + <p> + A reply of rallying incredulity was rising to the lips of Mr Monckton, + when reading in the looks of Cecilia an entire approbation of this + sentiment, he checked his desire of ridicule, and exclaimed, “spoken like + a man of honour, and one whose works may profit the world!” + </p> + <p> + “From my earliest youth to the present hour,” continued Belfield, + “literature has been the favourite object of my pursuit, my recreation in + leisure, and my hope in employment. My propensity to it, indeed, has been + so ungovernable, that I may properly call it the source of my several + miscarriages throughout life. It was the bar to my preferment, for it gave + me a distaste to other studies; it was the cause of my unsteadiness in all + my undertakings, because to all I preferred it. It has sunk me to + distress, it has involved me in difficulties; it has brought me to the + brink of ruin by making me neglect the means of living, yet never, till + now, did I discern it might itself be my support.” + </p> + <p> + “I am heartily glad, Sir,” said Cecilia, “your various enterprizes and + struggles have at length ended in a project which promises you so much + satisfaction. But you will surely suffer your sister and your mother to + partake of it? for who is there that your prosperity will make so happy?” + </p> + <p> + “You do them infinite honour, madam, by taking any interest in their + affairs; but to own to you the truth, what to me appears prosperity, will + to them wear another aspect. They have looked forward to my elevation with + expectations the most improbable, and thought everything within my grasp, + with a simplicity incredible. But though their hopes were absurd, I am + pained by their disappointment, and I have not courage to meet their + tears, which I am sure will not be spared when they see me.” + </p> + <p> + “'Tis from tenderness, then,” said Cecilia, half smiling, “that you are + cruel, and from affection to your friends that you make them believe you + have forgotten them?” + </p> + <p> + There was a delicacy in this reproach exactly suited to work upon + Belfield, who feeling it with quickness, started up, and cried, “I believe + I am wrong!—I will go to them this moment!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia felt eager to second the generous impulse; but Mr Monckton, + laughing at his impetuosity, insisted he should first finish his + breakfast. + </p> + <p> + “Your friends,” said Cecilia, “can have no mortification so hard to bear + as your voluntary absence; and if they see but that you are happy, they + will soon be reconciled to whatever situation you may chuse.” + </p> + <p> + “Happy!” repeated he, with animation, “Oh I am in Paradise! I am come from + a region in the first rude state of nature, to civilization and + refinement! the life I led at the cottage was the life of a savage; no + intercourse with society, no consolation from books; my mind locked up, + every source dried of intellectual delight, and no enjoyment in my power + but from sleep and from food. Weary of an existence which thus levelled me + with a brute, I grew ashamed of the approximation, and listening to the + remonstrance of my understanding, I gave up the precipitate plan, to + pursue one more consonant to reason. I came to town, hired a room, and + sent for pen, ink and paper: what I have written are trifles, but the + Bookseller has not rejected them. I was settled, therefore, in a moment, + and comparing my new occupation with that I had just quitted, I seemed + exalted on the sudden from a mere creature of instinct, to a rational and + intelligent being. But when first I opened a book, after so long an + abstinence from all mental nourishment,—Oh it was rapture! no + half-famished beggar regaled suddenly with food, ever seized on his repast + with more hungry avidity.” + </p> + <p> + “Let fortune turn which way it will,” cried Monckton, “you may defy all + its malice, while possessed of a spirit of enjoyment which nothing can + subdue!” + </p> + <p> + “But were you not, Sir,” said Cecilia, “as great an enthusiast the other + day for your cottage, and for labour?” + </p> + <p> + “I was, madam; but there my philosophy was erroneous: in my ardour to fly + from meanness and from dependence, I thought in labour and retirement I + should find freedom and happiness; but I forgot that my body was not + seasoned for such work, and considered not that a mind which had once been + opened by knowledge, could ill endure the contraction of dark and + perpetual ignorance. The approach, however, of winter, brought me + acquainted with my mistake. It grew cold, it grew bleak; little guarded + against the inclemency of the ——, I felt its severity in every + limb, and missed a thousand indulgencies which in possession I had never + valued. To rise at break of day, chill, freezing, and comfortless! no sun + abroad, no fire at home! to go out in all weather to work, that work + rough, coarse, and laborious!—unused to such hardships, I found I + could not bear them, and, however unwillingly, was compelled to relinquish + the attempt.” + </p> + <p> + Breakfast now being over, he again arose to take leave. + </p> + <p> + “You are going, then, Sir,” said Cecilia, “immediately to your friends?” + </p> + <p> + “No, madam,” answered he hesitating, “not just this moment; to-morrow + morning perhaps,—but it is now late, and I have business for the + rest of the day.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Mr Monckton!” cried Cecilia, “what mischief have you done by + occasioning this delay!” + </p> + <p> + “This goodness, madam,” said Belfield, “my sister can never sufficiently + acknowledge. But I will own, that though, just now, in a warm moment, I + felt eager to present myself to her and my mother, I rather wish, now I am + cooler, to be saved the pain of telling them in person my situation. I + mean, therefore, first to write to them.” + </p> + <p> + “You will not fail, then, to see them to-morrow?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly—I think not.” + </p> + <p> + “Nay, but certainly you <i>must</i> not, for I shall call upon them + to-day, and assure them they may expect you. Can I soften your task of + writing by giving them any message from you?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, madam, have a care!” cried he; “this condescension to a poor author + may be more dangerous than you have any suspicion! and before you have + power to help yourself, you may see your name prefixed to the Dedication + of some trumpery pamphlet!” + </p> + <p> + “I will run,” cried she, “all risks; remember, therefore, you will be + responsible for the performance of my promise.” + </p> + <p> + “I will be sure,” answered he, “not to forget what reflects so much honour + upon myself.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia was satisfied by this assent, and he then went away. + </p> + <p> + “A strange flighty character!” cried Mr Monckton, “yet of uncommon + capacity, and full of genius. Were he less imaginative, wild and + eccentric, he has abilities for any station, and might fix and distinguish + himself almost where-ever he pleased.” + </p> + <p> + “I knew not,” said Cecilia, “the full worth of steadiness and prudence + till I knew this young man; for he has every thing else; talents the most + striking, a love of virtue the most elevated, and manners the most + pleasing; yet wanting steadiness and prudence, he can neither act with + consistency nor prosper with continuance.” + </p> + <p> + “He is well enough,” said Lady Margaret, who had heard the whole argument + in sullen taciturnity, “he is well enough, I say; and there comes no good + from young women's being so difficult.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, offended by a speech which implied a rude desire to dispose of + her, went up stairs to her own room; and Mr Monckton, always enraged when + young men and Cecilia were alluded to in the same sentence, retired to his + library. + </p> + <p> + She then ordered a chair, and went to Portland-street, to fulfil what she + had offered to Belfield, and to revive his mother and sister by the + pleasure of the promised interview. + </p> + <p> + She found them together: and her intelligence being of equal consequence + to both, she did not now repine at the presence of Mrs Belfield. She made + her communication with the most cautious attention to their characters, + softening the ill she had to relate with respect to Belfield's present way + of living, by endeavouring to awaken affection and joy from the prospect + of the approaching meeting. She counselled them as much as possible to + restrain their chagrin at his misfortunes, which he would but construe + into reproach of his ill management; and she represented that when once he + was restored to his family, he might almost imperceptibly be led into some + less wild and more profitable scheme of business. + </p> + <p> + When she had told all she thought proper to relate, kindly interspersing + her account with the best advice and best comfort she could suggest, she + made an end of her visit; for the affliction of Mrs Belfield upon hearing + the actual situation of her son, was so clamorous and unappeaseable, that, + little wondering at Belfield's want of courage to encounter it, and having + no opportunity in such a storm to console the soft Henrietta, whose tears + flowed abundantly that her brother should thus be fallen, she only + promised before she left town to see her again, and beseeching Mrs + Belfield to moderate her concern, was glad to leave the house, where her + presence had no power to quiet their distress. + </p> + <p> + She passed the rest of the day in sad reflections upon the meeting she was + herself to have the next morning with Mr Delvile. She wished ardently to + know whether his son was gone abroad, and whether Mrs Delvile was + recovered, whose health, in her own letter, was mentioned in terms the + most melancholy: yet neither of these enquiries could she even think of + making, since reasonably, without them, apprehensive of some reproach. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER iv. — A WRANGLING. + </h2> + <p> + Mr Monckton, the next day, as soon as breakfast was over, went out, to + avoid showing, even to Cecilia, the anxiety he felt concerning the + regulation of her fortune, and arrangement of her affairs. He strongly, + however, advised her not to mention her large debt, which, though + contracted in the innocence of the purest benevolence, would incur nothing + but reproof and disapprobation, from all who only heard of it, when they + heard of its inutility. + </p> + <p> + At eleven o'clock, though an hour before the time appointed, while Cecilia + was sitting in Lady Margaret's dressing room, “with sad civility and an + aching head,” she was summoned to Mr Briggs in the parlour. + </p> + <p> + He immediately began reproaching her with having eloped from him, in the + summer, and with the various expences she had caused him from useless + purchases and spoilt provisions. He then complained of Mr Delvile, whom he + charged with defrauding him of his dues; but observing in the midst of his + railing her dejection of countenance, he suddenly broke off, and looking + at her with some concern, said, “what's the matter, Ducky? a'n't well? + look as if you could not help it.” + </p> + <p> + “O yes,” cried Cecilia, “I thank you, Sir, I am very well.” + </p> + <p> + “What do you look so blank for, then?” said he, “bay? what are fretting + for?—crossed in love?—lost your sweetheart?” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, no,” cried she, with quickness. + </p> + <p> + “Never mind, my chick, never mind,” said he, pinching her cheek, with + resumed good humour, “more to be had; if one won't snap, another will; put + me in a passion by going off from me with that old grandee, or would have + got one long ago. Hate that old Don; used me very ill; wish I could + trounce him. Thinks more of a fusty old parchment than the price of + stocks. Fit for nothing but to be stuck upon an old monument for a Death's + head.” + </p> + <p> + He then told her that her accounts were all made out, and he was ready at + any time to produce them; he approved much of her finishing wholly with + the <i>old Don</i>, who had been a mere cypher in the executorship; but he + advised her not to think of taking her money into her own hands, as he was + willing to keep the charge of it himself till she was married. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, thanking him for the offer, said she meant now to make her + acknowledgments for all the trouble he had already taken, but by no means + purposed to give him any more. + </p> + <p> + He debated the matter with her warmly, told her she had no chance to save + herself from knaves and cheats, but by trusting to nobody but himself, and + informing her what interest he had already made of her money, enquired how + she would set about getting more? + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, though prejudiced against him by Mr Monckton, knew not how to + combat his arguments; yet conscious that scarce any part of the money to + which he alluded was in fact her own, she could not yield to them. He was, + however, so stubborn and so difficult to deal with, that she at length let + him talk without troubling herself to answer, and privately determined to + beg Mr Monckton would fight her battle. + </p> + <p> + She was not, therefore, displeased by his interruption, though very much + surprised by the sight of his person, when, in the midst of Mr Briggs's + oratory, Mr Hobson entered the parlour. + </p> + <p> + “I ask pardon, ma'am,” cried he, “if I intrude; but I made free to call + upon the account of two ladies that are acquaintances of yours, that are + quite, as one may say, at their wit's ends.” + </p> + <p> + “What is the matter with them, Sir?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, ma'am, no great matter, but mothers are soon frightened, and when + once they are upon the fret, one may as well talk to the boards! they know + no more of reasoning and arguing, than they do of a shop ledger! however, + my maxim is this; every body in their way; one has no more right to expect + courageousness from a lady in them cases, than one has from a child in + arms; for what I say is, they have not the proper use of their heads, + which makes it very excusable.” + </p> + <p> + “But what has occasioned any alarm? nothing, I hope, is the matter with + Miss Belfield?” + </p> + <p> + “No, ma'am; thank God, the young lady enjoys her health very well: but she + is taking on just in the same way as her mamma, as what can be more + natural? Example, ma'am, is apt to be catching, and one lady's crying + makes another think she must do the same, for a little thing serves for a + lady's tears, being they can cry at any time: but a man is quite of + another nature, let him but have a good conscience, and be clear of the + world, and I'll engage he'll not wash his face without soap! that's what I + say!” + </p> + <p> + “Will, will!” cried Mr Briggs, “do it myself! never use soap; nothing but + waste; take a little sand; does as well.” + </p> + <p> + “Let every man have his own proposal;” answered Hobson; “for my part, I + take every morning a large bowl of water, and souse my whole head in it; + and then when I've rubbed it dry, on goes my wig, and I am quite fresh and + agreeable: and then I take a walk in Tottenham Court Road as far as the + Tabernacle, or thereabouts, and snuff in a little fresh country air, and + then I come back, with a good wholesome appetite, and in a fine breathing + heat, asking the young lady's pardon; and I enjoy my pot of fresh tea, and + my round of hot toast and butter, with as good a relish as if I was a + Prince.” + </p> + <p> + “Pot of fresh tea,” cried Briggs, “bring a man to ruin; toast and butter! + never suffer it in my house. Breakfast on water-gruel, sooner done; fills + one up in a second. Give it my servants; can't eat much of it. Bob 'em + there!” nodding significantly. + </p> + <p> + “Water-gruel!” exclaimed Mr Hobson, “why I could not get it down if I + might have the world for it! it would make me quite sick, asking the young + lady's pardon, by reason I should always think I was preparing for the + small-pox. My notion is quite of another nature; the first thing I do is + to have a good fire; for what I say is this, if a man is cold in his + fingers, it's odds if ever he gets warm in his purse! ha! ha! warm, you + take me, Sir? I mean a pun. Though I ought to ask pardon, for I suppose + the young lady don't know what I am a saying.” + </p> + <p> + “I should indeed be better pleased, Sir,” said Cecilia, “to hear what you + have to say about Miss Belfield.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, ma'am, the thing is this; we have been expecting the young 'Squire, + as I call him, all the morning, and he has never come; so Mrs Belfield, + not knowing where to send after him, was of opinion he might be here, + knowing your kindness to him, and that.” + </p> + <p> + “You make the enquiry at the wrong place, Sir,” said Cecilia, much + provoked by the implication it conveyed; “if Mr Belfield is in this house, + you must seek him with Mr Monckton.” + </p> + <p> + “You take no offence, I hope, ma'am, at my just asking of the question? + for Mrs Belfield crying, and being in that dilemma, I thought I could do + no less than oblige her by coming to see if the young gentleman was here.” + </p> + <p> + “What's this? what's this?” cried Mr Briggs eagerly; “who are talking of? + hay?—who do mean? is this the sweet heart? eh, Duck?” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, Sir,” cried Cecilia. + </p> + <p> + “No tricks! won't be bit! who is it? will know; tell me, I say!” + </p> + <p> + “<i>I'll</i> tell Sir,” cried Mr Hobson; “it's a very handsome young + gentleman, with as fine a person, and as genteel a way of behaviour, and + withal, as pretty a manner of dressing himself, and that, as any lady need + desire. He has no great head for business, as I am told, but the ladies + don't stand much upon that topic, being they know nothing of it + themselves.” + </p> + <p> + “Has got the ready?” cried Mr Briggs, impatiently; “can cast an account? + that's the point; can come down handsomely? eh?” + </p> + <p> + “Why as to that, Sir, I'm not bound to speak to a gentleman's private + affairs. What's my own, is my own, and what is another person's, is + another person's; that's my way of arguing, and that's what I call talking + to the purpose.” + </p> + <p> + “Dare say he's a rogue! don't have him, chick. Bet a wager i'n't worth two + shillings; and that will go for powder and pomatum; hate a plaistered + pate; commonly a numscull: love a good bob-jerom.” + </p> + <p> + “Why this is talking quite wide of the mark,” said Mr Hobson, “to suppose + a young lady of fortunes would marry a man with a bob-jerom. What I say + is, let every body follow their nature; that's the way to be comfortable; + and then if they pay every one his own, who's a right to call 'em to + account, whether they wear a bob-jerom, or a pig-tail down to the calves + of their legs?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, ay,” cried Briggs, sneeringly, “or whether they stuff their gullets + with hot rounds of toast and butter.” + </p> + <p> + “And what if they do, Sir?” returned Hobson, a little angrily; “when a + man's got above the world, where's the harm of living a little genteel? as + to a round of toast and butter, and a few oysters, fresh opened, by way of + a damper before dinner, no man need be ashamed of them, provided he pays + as he goes: and as to living upon water-gruel, and scrubbing one's flesh + with sand, one might as well be a galley-slave at once. You don't + understand life, Sir, I see that.” + </p> + <p> + “Do! do!” cried Briggs, speaking through his shut teeth; “you're out + there! oysters!—come to ruin, tell you! bring you to jail!” + </p> + <p> + “To jail, Sir?” exclaimed Hobson, “this is talking quite ungenteel! let + every man be civil; that's what I say, for that's the way to make every + thing agreeable but as to telling a man he'll go to jail, and that, it's + tantamount to affronting him.” + </p> + <p> + A rap at the street-door gave now a new relief to Cecilia, who began to + grow very apprehensive lest the delight of spending money, thus warmly + contested with that of hoarding it, should give rise to a quarrel, which, + between two such sturdy champions for their own opinions, might lead to a + conclusion rather more rough and violent than she desired to witness: but + when the parlour-door opened, instead of Mr Delvile, whom she now fully + expected, Mr Albany made his entrance. + </p> + <p> + This was rather distressing, as her real business with her guardians made + it proper her conference with them should be undisturbed: and Albany was + not a man with whom a hint that she was engaged could be risked: but she + had made no preparation to guard against interruption, as her little + acquaintance in London had prevented her expecting any visitors. + </p> + <p> + He advanced with a solemn air to Cecilia, and, looking as if hardly + determined whether to speak with severity or gentleness, said, “once more + I come to prove thy sincerity; now wilt thou go with me where sorrow calls + thee? sorrow thy charity can mitigate?” + </p> + <p> + “I am very much concerned,” she answered, “but indeed at present it is + utterly impossible.” + </p> + <p> + “Again,” cried he, with a look at once stern and disappointed, “again thou + failest me? what wanton trifling! why shouldst thou thus elate a worn-out + mind, only to make it feel its lingering credulity? or why, teaching me to + think I had found an angel, so unkindly undeceive me?” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed,” said Cecilia, much affected by this reproof, “if you knew how + heavy a loss I had personally suffered—” + </p> + <p> + “I do know it,” cried he, “and I grieved for thee when I heard it. Thou + hast lost a faithful old friend, a loss which with every setting sun thou + mayst mourn, for the rising sun will never repair it! but was that a + reason for shunning the duties of humanity? was the sight of death a + motive for neglecting the claims of benevolence? ought it not rather to + have hastened your fulfilling them? and should not your own suffering + experience of the brevity of life, have taught you the vanity of all + things but preparing for its end?” + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps so, but my grief at that time made me think only of myself.” + </p> + <p> + “And of what else dost thou think now?” + </p> + <p> + “Most probably of the same person still!” said she, half smiling, “but yet + believe me, I have real business to transact.” + </p> + <p> + “Frivolous, unmeaning, ever-ready excuses! what business is so important + as the relief of a fellow-creature?” + </p> + <p> + “I shall not, I hope, there,” answered she, with alacrity, “be backward; + but at least for this morning I must beg to make you my Almoner.” + </p> + <p> + She then took out her purse. + </p> + <p> + Mr Briggs and Mr Hobson, whose quarrel had been suspended by the + appearance of a third person, and who had stood during this short dialogue + in silent amazement, having first lost their anger in their mutual + consternation, now lost their consternation in their mutual displeasure + Mr. Hobson felt offended to hear business spoken of slightly, and Mr + Briggs felt enraged at the sight of Cecilia's ready purse. Neither of + them, however, knew which way to interfere, the stem gravity of Albany, + joined to a language too lofty for their comprehension, intimidating them + both. They took, however, the relief of communing with one another, and Mr + Hobson said in a whisper “This, you must know, is, I am told, a very + particular old gentleman; quite what I call a genius. He comes often to my + house, to see my lodger Miss Henny Belfield, though I never happen to + light upon him myself, except once in the passage: but what I hear of him + is this; he makes a practice, as one may say, of going about into people's + houses, to do nothing but find fault.” + </p> + <p> + “Shan't get into mine!” returned Briggs, “promise him that! don't half + like him; be bound he's an old sharper.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, mean time, enquired what he desired to have. + </p> + <p> + “Half a guinea,” he answered. + </p> + <p> + “Will that do?” + </p> + <p> + “For those who have nothing,” said he, “it is much. Hereafter, you may + assist them again. Go but and see their distresses, and you will wish to + give them every thing.” + </p> + <p> + Mr Briggs now, when actually between her fingers he saw the half guinea, + could contain no longer; he twitched the sleeve of her gown, and pinching + her arm, with a look of painful eagerness, said in a whisper “Don't give + it! don't let him have it! chouse him, chouse him! nothing but an old + bite!” + </p> + <p> + “Pardon me, Sir,” said Cecilia, in a low voice, “his character is very + well known to me.” And then, disengaging her arm from him, she presented + her little offering. + </p> + <p> + At this sight, Mr Briggs was almost outrageous, and losing in his wrath, + all fear of the stranger, he burst forth with fury into the following + outcries, “Be ruined! see it plainly; be fleeced! be stript! be robbed! + won't have a gown to your back! won't have a shoe to your foot! won't have + a rag in the world! be a beggar in the street! come to the parish! rot in + a jail!—half a guinea at a time!—enough to break the Great + Mogul!” + </p> + <p> + “Inhuman spirit of selfish parsimony!” exclaimed Albany, “repinest thou at + this loan, given from thousands to those who have worse than nothing? who + pay to-day in hunger for bread they borrowed yesterday from pity? who to + save themselves from the deadly pangs of famine, solicit but what the rich + know not when they possess, and miss not when they give?” + </p> + <p> + “Anan!” cried Briggs, recovering his temper from the perplexity of his + understanding, at a discourse to which his ears were wholly unaccustomed, + “what d'ye say?” + </p> + <p> + “If to thyself distress may cry in vain,” continued Albany, “if thy own + heart resists the suppliant's prayer, callous to entreaty, and hardened in + the world, suffer, at least, a creature yet untainted, who melts at + sorrow, and who glows with charity, to pay from her vast wealth a generous + tax of thankfulness, that fate has not reversed her doom, and those whom + she relieves, relieve not her!” + </p> + <p> + “Anan!” was again all the wondering Mr Briggs could say. + </p> + <p> + “Pray, ma'am,” said Mr Hobson, to Cecilia, “if it's no offence, was the + Gentleman ever a player?” + </p> + <p> + “I fancy not, indeed!” + </p> + <p> + “I ask pardon, then, ma'am; I mean no harm; but my notion was the + gentleman might be speaking something by heart.” + </p> + <p> + “Is it but on the stage, humanity exists?” cried Albany, indignantly; “Oh + thither hasten, then, ye monopolizers of plenty! ye selfish, unfeeling + engrossers of wealth, which ye dissipate without enjoying, and of + abundance, which ye waste while ye refuse to distribute! thither, thither + haste, if there humanity exists!” + </p> + <p> + “As to engrossing,” said Mr Hobson, happy to hear at last a word with + which he was familiar, “it's what I never approved myself. My maxim is + this; if a man makes a fair penny, without any underhand dealings, why he + has as much a title to enjoy his pleasure as the Chief Justice, or the + Lord Chancellor: and it's odds but he's as happy as a greater man. Though + what I hold to be best of all, is a clear conscience, with a neat income + of 2 or 3000 a year. That's my notion; and I don't think it's a bad one.” + </p> + <p> + “Weak policy of short-sighted ignorance!” cried Albany, “to wish for what, + if used, brings care, and if neglected, remorse! have you not now beyond + what nature craves? why then still sigh for more?” + </p> + <p> + “Why?” cried Mr Briggs, who by dint of deep attention began now better to + comprehend him, “why to buy in, to be sure! ever hear of stocks, eh? know + any thing of money?” + </p> + <p> + “Still to make more and more,” cried Albany, “and wherefore? to spend in + vice and idleness, or hoard in chearless misery! not to give succour to + the wretched, not to support the falling; all is for self, however little + wanted, all goes to added stores, or added luxury; no fellow-creature + served, nor even one beggar relieved!” + </p> + <p> + “Glad of it!” cried Briggs, “glad of it; would not have 'em relieved; + don't like 'em; hate a beggar; ought to be all whipt; live upon spunging.” + </p> + <p> + “Why as to a beggar, I must needs say,” cried Mr Hobson, “I am by no means + an approver of that mode of proceeding; being I take 'em all for cheats: + for what I say is this, what a man earns, he earns, and it's no man's + business to enquire what he spends, for a free-born Englishman is his own + master by the nature of the law, and as to his being a subject, why a duke + is no more, nor a judge, nor the Lord High Chancellor, and the like of + those; which makes it tantamount to nothing, being he is answerable to + nobody by the right of Magna Charta: except in cases of treason, felony, + and that. But as to a beggar, it's quite another thing; he comes and asks + me for money; but what has he to shew for it? what does he bring me in + exchange? why a long story that he i'n't worth a penny! what's that to me? + nothing at all. Let every man have his own; that's my way of arguing.” + </p> + <p> + “Ungentle mortals!” cried Albany, “in wealth exulting; even in inhumanity! + think you these wretched outcasts have less sensibility than yourselves? + think you, in cold and hunger, they lose those feelings which even in + voluptuous prosperity from time to time disturb you? you say they are all + cheats? 'tis but the niggard cant of avarice, to lure away remorse from + obduracy. Think you the naked wanderer begs from choice? give him your + wealth and try.” + </p> + <p> + “Give him a whip!” cried Briggs, “sha'n't have a souse! send him to + Bridewell! nothing but a pauper; hate 'em; hate 'em all! full of tricks; + break their own legs, put out their arms, cut off their fingers, snap + their own ancles,—all for what? to get at the chink! to chouse us of + cash! ought to be well flogged; have 'em all sent to the Thames; worse + than the Convicts.” + </p> + <p> + “Poor subterfuge of callous cruelty! you cheat yourselves, to shun the + fraud of others! and yet, how better do you use the wealth so guarded? + what nobler purpose can it answer to you, than even a chance to snatch + some wretch from sinking? think less how <i>much</i> ye save, and more for + <i>what</i>; and then consider how thy full coffers may hereafter make + reparation, for the empty catalogue of thy virtues.” + </p> + <p> + “Anan!” said Mr Briggs, again lost in perplexity and wonder. + </p> + <p> + “Oh yet,” continued Albany, turning towards Cecilia, “preach not here the + hardness which ye practice; rather amend yourselves than corrupt her; and + give with liberality what ye ought to receive with gratitude!” + </p> + <p> + “This is not my doctrine,” cried Hobson; “I am not a near man, neither, + but as to giving at that rate, it's quite out of character. I have as good + a right to my own savings, as to my own gettings; and what I say is this, + who'll give to <i>me</i>? let me see that, and it's quite another thing: + and begin who will, I'll be bound to go on with him, pound for pound, or + pence for pence. But as to giving to them beggars, it's what I don't + approve; I pay the poor's rate, and that's what I call charity enough for + any man. But for the matter of living well, and spending one's money + handsomely, and having one's comforts about one, why it's a thing of + another nature, and I can say this for myself, and that is, I never + grudged myself any thing in my life. I always made myself agreeable, and + lived on the best. That's my way.” + </p> + <p> + “Bad way too,” cried Briggs, “never get on with it, never see beyond your + nose; won't be worth a plum while your head wags!” then, taking Cecilia + apart, “hark'ee, my duck,” he added, pointing to Albany, “who is that Mr + Bounce, eh? what is he?” + </p> + <p> + “I have known him but a short time, Sir; but I think of him very highly.” + </p> + <p> + “Is he a <i>good</i> man? that's the point, is he a <i>good</i> man?” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed he appears to me uncommonly benevolent and charitable.” + </p> + <p> + “But that i'n't the thing; is he <i>warm</i>? that's the point, is he <i>warm</i>?” + </p> + <p> + “If you mean <i>passionate</i>,” said Cecilia, “I believe the energy of + his manner is merely to enforce what he says.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't take me, don't take me,” cried he, impatiently; “can come down with + the ready, that's the matter; can chink the little gold boys? eh?” + </p> + <p> + “Why I rather fear not by his appearance; but I know nothing of his + affairs.” + </p> + <p> + “What does come for? eh? come a courting?” + </p> + <p> + “Mercy on me, no!” + </p> + <p> + “What for then? only a spunging?” + </p> + <p> + “No, indeed. He seems to have no wish but to assist and plead for others.” + </p> + <p> + “All fudge! think he i'n't touched? ay, ay; nothing but a trick! only to + get at the chink: see he's as poor as a rat, talks of nothing but giving + money; a bad sign! if he'd got any, would not do it. Wanted to make us + come down; warrant thought to bam us all! out there! a'n't so soon + gulled.” + </p> + <p> + A knock at the street door gave now a new interruption, and Mr Delvile at + length appeared. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, whom his sight could not fail to disconcert, felt doubly + distressed by the unnecessary presence of Albany and Hobson; she regretted + the absence of Mr Monckton, who could easily have taken them away; for + though without scruple she could herself have acquainted Mr Hobson she had + business, she dreaded offending Albany, whose esteem she was ambitious of + obtaining. + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile entered the room with an air stately and erect; he took off his + hat, but deigned not to make the smallest inclination of his head, nor + offered any excuse to Mr Briggs for being past the hour of his + appointment: but having advanced a few paces, without looking either to + the right or left, said, “as I have never acted, my coming may not, + perhaps, be essential; but as my name is in the Dean's Will, and I have + once or twice met the other executors mentioned in it, I think it a duty I + owe to my own heirs to prevent any possible future enquiry or trouble to + them.” + </p> + <p> + This speech was directly addressed to no one, though meant to be attended + to by every one, and seemed proudly uttered as a mere apology to himself + for not having declined the meeting. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, though she recovered from her confusion by the help of her + aversion to this self-sufficiency, made not any answer. Albany retired to + a corner of the room; Mr Hobson began to believe it was time for him to + depart; and Mr Briggs thinking only of the quarrel in which he had + separated with Mr Delvile in the summer, stood swelling with venom, which + he longed for an opportunity to spit out. + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile, who regarded this silence as the effect of his awe-inspiring + presence, became rather more complacent; but casting his eyes round the + room, and perceiving the two strangers, he was visibly surprised, and + looking at Cecilia for some explanation, seemed to stand suspended from + the purpose of his visit till he heard one. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, earnest to have the business concluded, turned to Mr Briggs, and + said, “Sir, here is pen and ink: are you to write, or am I? or what is to + be done?” + </p> + <p> + “No, no,” said he, with a sneer, “give it t'other; all in our turn; don't + come before his Grace the Right Honourable Mr Vampus.” + </p> + <p> + “Before whom, Sir?” said Mr Delvile, reddening. + </p> + <p> + “Before my Lord Don Pedigree,” answered Briggs, with a spiteful grin, + “know him? eh? ever hear of such a person?” + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile coloured still deeper, but turning contemptuously from him, + disdained making any reply. + </p> + <p> + Mr Briggs, who now regarded him as a defeated man, said exultingly to Mr + Hobson, “what do stand here for?—hay?—fall o' your + marrowbones; don't see 'Squire High and Mighty?” + </p> + <p> + “As to falling on my marrowbones,” answered Mr Hobson, “it's what I shall + do to no man, except he was the King himself, or the like of that, and + going to make me Chancellor of the Exchequer, or Commissioner of Excise. + Not that I mean the gentleman any offence; but a man's a man, and for one + man to worship another is quite out of law.” + </p> + <p> + “Must, must!” cried Briggs, “tell all his old grand-dads else: keeps 'em + in a roll; locks 'em in a closet; says his prayers to 'em; can't live + without 'em: likes 'em better than cash!—wish had 'em here! pop 'em + all in the sink!” + </p> + <p> + “If your intention, Sir,” cried Mr Delvile, fiercely, “is only to insult + me, I am prepared for what measures I shall take. I declined seeing you in + my own house, that I might not be under the same restraint as when it was + my unfortunate lot to meet you last.” + </p> + <p> + “Who cares?” cried Briggs, with an air of defiance, “what can do, eh? poke + me into a family vault? bind me o' top of an old monument? tie me to a + stinking carcase? make a corpse of me, and call it one of your famous + cousins?—” + </p> + <p> + “For heaven's sake, Mr Briggs,” interrupted Cecilia, who saw that Mr + Delvile, trembling with passion, scarce refrained lifting up his stick, + “be appeased, and let us finish our business!” + </p> + <p> + Albany now, hearing in Cecilia's voice the alarm with which she was + seized, came forward and exclaimed, “Whence this unmeaning dissension? to + what purpose this irritating abuse? Oh vain and foolish! live ye so + happily, last ye so long, that time and peace may thus be trifled with?” + </p> + <p> + “There, there!” cried Briggs, holding up his finger at Mr Delvile, “have + it now! got old Mr Bounce upon you! give you enough of it; promise you + that!” + </p> + <p> + “Restrain,” continued Albany, “this idle wrath; and if ye have ardent + passions, employ them to nobler uses; let them stimulate acts of virtue, + let them animate deeds of beneficence! Oh waste not spirits that may urge + you to good, lead you to honour, warm you to charity, in poor and angry + words, in unfriendly, unmanly debate!” + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile, who from the approach of Albany, had given him his whole + attention, was struck with astonishment at this address, and almost + petrified with wonder at his language and exhortations. + </p> + <p> + “Why I must own,” said Mr Hobson, “as to this matter I am much of the same + mind myself; for quarreling's a thing I don't uphold; being it advances + one no way; for what I say is this, if a man gets the better, he's only + where he was before, and if he gets worsted, why it's odds but the laugh's + against him: so, if I may make bold to give my verdict, I would have one + of these gentlemen take the other by the hand, and so put an end to bad + words. That's my maxim, and that's what I call being agreeable.” + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile, at the words <i>one of these gentlemen take the other by the + hand</i>, looked scornfully upon Mr Hobson, with a frown that expressed + his highest indignation, at being thus familiarly coupled with Mr Briggs. + And then, turning from him to Cecilia, haughtily said, “Are these two + persons,” pointing towards Albany and Hobson, “waiting here to be + witnesses to any transaction?” + </p> + <p> + “No, Sir, no,” cried Hobson, “I don't mean to intrude, I am going + directly. So you can give me no insight, ma'am,” addressing Cecilia, “as + to where I might light upon Mr Belfield?” + </p> + <p> + “Me? no!” cried she, much provoked by observing that Mr Delvile suddenly + looked at her. + </p> + <p> + “Well, ma'am, well, I mean no harm: only I hold it that the right way to + hear of a young gentleman, is to ask for him of a young lady: that's my + maxim. Come, Sir,” to Mr Briggs, “you and I had like to have fallen out, + but what I say is this; let no man bear malice; that's my way: so I hope + we part without ill blood?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, ay;” said Mr Briggs, giving him a nod. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then,” added Hobson, “I hope the good-will may go round, and that + not only you and I, but these two good old gentlemen will also lend a + hand.” + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile now was at a loss which way to turn for very rage; but after + looking at every one with a face flaming with ire, he said to Cecilia, “If + you have collected together these persons for the purpose of affronting + me, I must beg you to remember I am not one to be affronted with + impunity!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, half frightened, was beginning an answer that disclaimed any such + intention, when Albany, with the most indignant energy, called out, “Oh + pride of heart, with littleness of soul! check this vile arrogance, too + vain for man, and spare to others some part of that lenity thou nourishest + for thyself, or justly bestow on thyself that contempt thou nourishest for + others!” + </p> + <p> + And with these words he sternly left the house. + </p> + <p> + The thunderstruck Mr Delvile began now to fancy that all the demons of + torment were designedly let loose upon him, and his surprise and + resentment operated so powerfully that it was only in broken sentences he + could express either. “Very extraordinary!—a new method of conduct!—liberties + to which I am not much used!—impertinences I shall not hastily + forget,—treatment that would scarce be pardonable to a person wholly + unknown!—” + </p> + <p> + “Why indeed, Sir,” said Hobson, “I can't but say it was rather a cut up; + but the old gentleman is what one may call a genius, which makes it a + little excusable; for he does things all his own way, and I am told it's + the same thing who he speaks to, so he can but find fault, and that.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir,” interrupted the still more highly offended Mr Delvile, “what <i>you</i> + may be told is extremely immaterial to <i>me</i>; and I must take the + liberty to hint to you, a conversation of this easy kind is not what I am + much in practice in hearing.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir, I ask pardon,” said Hobson, “I meant nothing but what was agreeable; + however, I have done, and I wish you good day. Your humble servant, ma'am, + and I hope, Sir,” to Mr Briggs, “you won't begin bad words again?” + </p> + <p> + “No, no,” said Briggs, “ready to make up; all at end; only don't much like + <i>Spain</i>, that's all!” winking significantly, “nor a'n't over fond of + a <i>skeleton</i>!” + </p> + <p> + Mr Hobson now retired; and Mr Delvile and Mr Briggs, being both wearied + and both in haste to have done, settled in about five minutes all for + which they met, after passing more than an hour in agreeing what that was. + </p> + <p> + Mr Briggs then, saying he had an engagement upon business, declined + settling his own accounts till another time, but promised to see Cecilia + again soon, and added, “be sure take care of that old Mr Bounce! cracked + in the noddle; see that with half an eye! better not trust him! break out + some day: do you a mischief!” + </p> + <p> + He then went away: but while the parlour-door was still open, to the no + little surprise of Cecilia, the servant announced Mr Belfield. He hardly + entered the room, and his countenance spoke haste and eagerness. “I have + this moment, madam,” he said, “been informed a complaint has been lodged + against me here, and I could not rest till I had the honour of assuring + you, that though I have been rather dilatory, I have not neglected my + appointment, nor has the condescension of your interference been thrown + away.” + </p> + <p> + He then bowed, shut the door, and ran off Cecilia, though happy to + understand by this speech that he was actually restored to his family, was + sorry at these repeated intrusions in the presence of Mr Delvile, who was + now the only one that remained. + </p> + <p> + She expected every instant that he would ring for his chair, which he kept + in waiting; but, after a pause of some continuance, to her equal surprise + and disturbance, he made the following speech. “As it is probable I am now + for the last time alone with you, ma'am, and as it is certain we shall + meet no more upon business, I cannot, in justice to my own character, and + to the respect I retain for the memory of the Dean, your uncle, take a + final leave of the office with which he was pleased to invest me, without + first fulfilling my own ideas of the duty it requires from me, by giving + you some counsel relating to your future establishment.” + </p> + <p> + This was not a preface much to enliven Cecilia; it prepared her for such + speeches as she was least willing to hear, and gave to her the mixt and + painful sensation of spirits depressed, with ride alarmed. + </p> + <p> + “My numerous engagements,” he continued, “and the appropriation of my + time, already settled, to their various claims, must make me brief in what + I have to represent, and somewhat, perhaps, abrupt in coming to the + purpose. But that you will excuse.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia disdained to humour this arrogance by any compliments or + concessions: she was silent, therefore; and when they were both seated, he + went on. + </p> + <p> + “You are now at a time of life when it is natural for young women to wish + for some connection: and the largeness of your fortune will remove from + you such difficulties as prove bars to the pretensions, in this expensive + age, of those who possess not such advantages. It would have been some + pleasure to me, while I yet considered you as my Ward, to have seen you + properly disposed of: but as that time is past, I can only give you some + general advice, which you may follow or neglect as you think fit. By + giving it, I shall satisfy myself; for the rest, I am not responsible.” + </p> + <p> + He paused; but Cecilia felt less and less inclination to make use of the + opportunity by speaking in her turn. + </p> + <p> + “Yet though, as I just now hinted, young women of large fortunes may have + little trouble in finding themselves establishments, they ought not, + therefore, to trifle when proper ones are in their power, nor to suppose + themselves equal to any they may chance to desire.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia coloured high at this pointed reprehension; but feeling her + disgust every moment encrease, determined to sustain herself with dignity, + and at least not suffer him to perceive the triumph of his ostentation and + rudeness. + </p> + <p> + “The proposals,” he continued, “of the Earl of Ernolf had always my + approbation; it was certainly an ill-judged thing to neglect such an + opportunity of being honourably settled. The clause of the name was, to <i>him</i>, + immaterial; since his own name half a century ago was unheard of, and + since he is himself only known by his title. He is still, however, I have + authority to acquaint you, perfectly well disposed to renew his + application to you.” + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry, Sir,” said Cecilia coldly, “to hear it.” + </p> + <p> + “You have, perhaps, some other better offer in view?” + </p> + <p> + “No, Sir,” cried she, with spirit, “nor even in desire.” + </p> + <p> + “Am I, then, to infer that some inferior offer has more chance of your + approbation?” + </p> + <p> + “There is no reason, Sir, to infer any thing; I am content with my actual + situation, and have, at present, neither prospect nor intention of + changing it.” + </p> + <p> + “I perceive, but without surprise, your unwillingness to discuss the + subject; nor do I mean to press it: I shall merely offer to your + consideration one caution, and then relieve you from my presence. Young + women of ample fortunes, who are early independent, are sometimes apt to + presume they may do every thing with impunity; but they are mistaken; they + are as liable to censure as those who are wholly unprovided for.” + </p> + <p> + “I hope, Sir,” said Cecilia, staring, “this at least is a caution rather + drawn from my situation than my behaviour?” + </p> + <p> + “I mean not, ma'am, narrowly to go into, or investigate the subject; what + I have said you may make your own use of; I have only to observe further, + that when young women, at your time of life, are at all negligent of so + nice a thing as reputation, they commonly live to repent it.” + </p> + <p> + He then arose to go, but Cecilia, not more offended than amazed, said, “I + must beg, Sir, you will explain yourself!” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly this matter,” he answered, “must be immaterial to <i>me</i>: + yet, as I have once been your guardian by the nomination of the Dean your + uncle, I cannot forbear making an effort towards preventing any + indiscretion: and frequent visits to a young man—” + </p> + <p> + “Good God! Sir,” interrupted Cecilia, “what is it you mean?” + </p> + <p> + “It can certainly, as I said before, be nothing to <i>me</i>, though I + should be glad to see you in better hands: but I cannot suppose you have + been led to take such steps without some serious plan; and I would advise + you, without loss of time, to think better of what you are about.” + </p> + <p> + “Should I think, Sir, to eternity,” cried Cecilia, “I could never + conjecture what you mean!” + </p> + <p> + “You may not chuse,” said he, proudly, “to understand me; but I have done. + If it had been in my power to have interfered in your service with my Lord + Derford, notwithstanding my reluctance to being involved in any fresh + employment, I should have made a point of not refusing it: but this young + man is nobody,—a very imprudent connection—” + </p> + <p> + “What young man, Sir?” + </p> + <p> + “Nay, <i>I</i> know nothing of him! it is by no means likely I should: but + as I had already been informed of your attention to him, the corroborating + incidents of my servant's following you to his house, his friend's seeking + him at yours, and his own waiting upon you this morning; were not well + calculated to make me withdraw my credence to it.” + </p> + <p> + “Is it, then, Mr Belfield, Sir, concerning whom you draw these inferences, + from circumstances the most accidental and unmeaning?” + </p> + <p> + “It is by no means my practice,” cried he, haughtily, and with evident + marks of high displeasure at this speech, “to believe any thing lightly, + or without even unquestionable authority; what once, therefore, I have + credited, I do not often find erroneous. Mistake not, however, what I have + said into supposing I have any objection to your marrying; on the + contrary, it had been for the honour of my family had you been married a + year ago I should not then have suffered the degradation of seeing a son + of the first expectations in the kingdom upon the point of renouncing his + birth, nor a woman of the first distinction ruined in her health, and + broken for ever in her constitution.” + </p> + <p> + The emotions of Cecilia at this speech were too powerful for concealment; + her colour varied, now reddening with indignation, now turning pale with + apprehension; she arose, she trembled and sat down, she arose again, but + not knowing what to say or what to do, again sat down. + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile then, making a stiff bow, wished her good morning. + </p> + <p> + “Go not so, Sir!” cried she, in faltering accents; “let me at least + convince you of the mistake with regard to Mr Belfield—” + </p> + <p> + “My mistakes, ma'am,” said he, with a contemptuous smile, “are perhaps not + easily convicted: and I may possibly labour under others that would give + you no less trouble: it may therefore be better to avoid any further + disquisition.” + </p> + <p> + “No, not better,” answered she, again recovering her courage from this + fresh provocation; “I fear no disquisition; on the contrary, it is my + interest to solicit one.” + </p> + <p> + “This intrepidity in a young woman,” said he, ironically, “is certainly + very commendable; and doubtless, as you are your own mistress, your having + run out great part of your fortune, is nothing beyond what you have a + right to do.” + </p> + <p> + “Me!” cried Cecilia, astonished, “run out great part of my fortune!” + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps that is another <i>mistake</i>! I have not often been so + unfortunate; and you are not, then, in debt?” + </p> + <p> + “In debt, Sir?” + </p> + <p> + “Nay, I have no intention to inquire into your affairs. Good morning to + you, ma'am.” + </p> + <p> + “I beg, I entreat, Sir, that you will stop!—make me, at least, + understand what you mean, whether you deign to hear my justification or + not.” + </p> + <p> + “O, I am mistaken, it seems! misinformed, deceived; and you have neither + spent more than you have received, nor taken up money of Jews? your + minority has been clear of debts? and your fortune, now you are of age, + will be free from incumbrances?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who now began to understand him, eagerly answered, “do you mean, + Sir, the money which I took up last spring?” + </p> + <p> + “O no; by no means, I conceive the whole to be a <i>mistake</i>!” + </p> + <p> + And he went to the door. + </p> + <p> + “Hear me but a moment, Sir!” cried she hastily, following him; “since you + know of that transaction, do not refuse to listen to its occasion; I took + up the money for Mr Harrel; it was all, and solely for him.” + </p> + <p> + “For Mr Harrel, was it?” said he, with an air of supercilious incredulity; + “that was rather an unlucky step. Your servant, ma'am.” + </p> + <p> + And he opened the door. + </p> + <p> + “You will not hear me, then? you will not credit me?” cried she in the + cruellest agitation. + </p> + <p> + “Some other time, ma'am; at present my avocations are too numerous to + permit me.” + </p> + <p> + And again, stiffly bowing, he called to his servants, who were waiting in + the hall, and put himself into his chair. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER v. — A SUSPICION. + </h2> + <p> + Cecilia was now left in a state of perturbation that was hardly to be + endured. The contempt with which she had been treated during the whole + visit was nothing short of insult, but the accusations with which it was + concluded did not more irritate than astonish her. + </p> + <p> + That some strange prejudice had been taken against her, even more than + belonged to her connection with young Delvile, the message brought her by + Dr Lyster had given her reason to suppose: what that prejudice was she now + knew, though how excited she was still ignorant; but she found Mr Delvile + had been informed she had taken up money of a Jew, without having heard it + was for Mr Harrel, and that he had been acquainted with her visits in + Portland-street, without seeming to know Mr Belfield had a sister. Two + charges such as these, so serious in their nature, and so destructive of + her character, filled her with horror and consternation, and even somewhat + served to palliate his illiberal and injurious behaviour. + </p> + <p> + But how reports thus false and thus disgraceful should be raised, and by + what dark work of slander and malignity they had been spread, remained a + doubt inexplicable. They could not, she was certain, be the mere rumour of + chance, since in both the assertions there was some foundation of truth, + however cruelly perverted, or basely over-charged. + </p> + <p> + This led her to consider how few people there were not only who had + interest, but who had power to propagate such calumnies; even her + acquaintance with the Belfields she remembered not ever mentioning, for + she knew none of their friends, and none of her own knew them. How, then, + should it be circulated, that she “visited often at the house?” however be + invented that it was from her “attention to the young man?” Henrietta, she + was sure, was too good and too innocent to be guilty of such perfidy; and + the young man himself had always shewn a modesty and propriety that + manifested his total freedom from the vanity of such a suspicion, and an + elevation of sentiment that would have taught him to scorn the boast, even + if he believed the partiality. + </p> + <p> + The mother, however, had neither been so modest nor so rational; she had + openly avowed her opinion that Cecilia was in love with her son; and as + that son, by never offering himself, had never been refused, her opinion + had received no check of sufficient force, for a mind so gross and + literal, to change it. + </p> + <p> + This part, therefore, of the charge she gave to Mrs Belfield, whose + officious and loquacious forwardness she concluded had induced her to + narrate her suspicions, till, step by step, they had reached Mr Delvile. + </p> + <p> + But though able, by the probability of this conjecture, to account for the + report concerning Belfield, the whole affair of the debt remained a + difficulty not to be solved. Mr Harrel, his wife, Mr Arnott, the Jew and + Mr Monckton, were the only persons to whom the transaction was known; and + though from five, a secret, in the course of so many months, might easily + be supposed likely to transpire, those five were so particularly bound to + silence, not only for her interest but their own, that it was not + unreasonable to believe it as safe among them all, as if solely consigned + to one. For herself, she had revealed it to no creature but Mr Monckton; + not even to Delvile; though, upon her consenting to marry him, he had an + undoubted right to be acquainted with the true state of her affairs; but + such had been the hurry, distress, confusion and irresolution of her mind + at that period, that this whole circumstance had been driven from it + entirely, and she had, since, frequently blamed herself for such want of + recollection. Mr Harrel, for a thousand reasons, she was certain had never + named it; and had the communication come from his widow or from Mr Arnott, + the motives would have been related as well as the debt, and she had been + spared the reproach of contracting it for purposes of her own + extravagance. The Jew, indeed, was, to her, under no obligation of + secrecy, but he had an obligation far more binding,—he was tied to + himself. + </p> + <p> + A suspicion now arose in her mind which made it thrill with horror; “good + God! she exclaimed, can Mr Monckton—-” + </p> + <p> + She stopt, even to herself;—she checked the idea;—she drove it + hastily from her;—she was certain it was false and cruel,—she + hated herself for having started it. + </p> + <p> + “No,” cried she, “he is my friend, the confirmed friend of many years, my + well-wisher from childhood, my zealous counsellor and assistant almost + from my birth to this hour:—such perfidy from him would not even be + human!” + </p> + <p> + Yet still her perplexity was undiminished; the affair was undoubtedly + known, and it only could be known by the treachery of some one entrusted + with it: and however earnestly her generosity combated her rising + suspicions, she could not wholly quell them; and Mr Monckton's strange + aversion to the Delviles, his earnestness to break off her connexion with + them, occurred to her remembrance, and haunted her perforce with surmises + to his disadvantage. + </p> + <p> + That gentleman, when he came home, found her in this comfortless and + fluctuating state, endeavouring to form conjectures upon what had + happened, yet unable to succeed, but by suggestions which one moment + excited her abhorrence of him, and the next of herself. + </p> + <p> + He enquired, with his usual appearance of easy friendliness, into what had + passed with her two guardians, and how she had settled her affairs. She + answered without hesitation all his questions, but her manner was cold and + reserved, though her communication was frank. + </p> + <p> + This was not unheeded by Mr Monckton, who, after a short time, begged to + know if any thing had disturbed her. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, ashamed of her doubts, though unable to get rid of them, then + endeavoured to brighten up, and changed the subject to the difficulties + she had had to encounter from the obstinacy of Mr Briggs. + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton for a while humoured this evasion; but when, by her own + exertion, her solemnity began to wear off, he repeated his interrogatory, + and would not be satisfied without an answer. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, earnest that surmises so injurious should be removed, then + honestly, but without comments, related the scene which had just past + between Mr Delvile and herself. + </p> + <p> + No comments were, however, wanting to explain to Mr Monckton the change of + her behaviour. “I see,” he cried hastily, “what you cannot but suspect; + and I will go myself to Mr Delvile, and insist upon his clearing me.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, shocked to have thus betrayed what was passing within her, + assured him his vindication required not such a step, and begged he would + counsel her how to discover this treachery, without drawing from her + concern at it a conclusion so offensive to himself. + </p> + <p> + He was evidently, however, and greatly disturbed; he declared his own + wonder equal to hers how the affair had been betrayed, expressed the + warmest indignation at the malevolent insinuations against her conduct, + and lamented with mingled acrimony and grief, that there should exist even + the possibility of casting the odium of such villainy upon himself. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, distressed, perplexed, and ashamed at once, again endeavoured to + appease him, and though a lurking doubt obstinately clung to her + understanding, the purity of her own principles, and the softness of her + heart, pleaded strongly for his innocence, and urged her to detest her + suspicion, though to conquer it they were unequal. + </p> + <p> + “It is true,” said he, with an air ingenuous though mortified, “I dislike + the Delviles, and have always disliked them; they appear to me a jealous, + vindictive, and insolent race, and I should have thought I betrayed the + faithful regard I professed for you, had I concealed my opinion when I saw + you in danger of forming an alliance with them; I spoke to you, therefore, + with honest zeal, thoughtless of any enmity I might draw upon myself; but + though it was an interference from which I hoped, by preventing the + connection, to contribute to your happiness, it was not with a design to + stop it at the expence of your character,—a design black, horrible, + and diabolic! a design which must be formed by a Daemon, but which even a + Daemon could never, I think, execute!” + </p> + <p> + The candour of this speech, in which his aversion to the Delviles was + openly acknowledged, and rationally justified, somewhat quieted the + suspicions of Cecilia, which far more anxiously sought to be confuted than + confirmed: she began, therefore, to conclude that some accident, + inexplicable as unfortunate, had occasioned the partial discovery to Mr + Delvile, by which her own goodness proved the source of her defamation: + and though something still hung upon her mind that destroyed that firm + confidence she had hitherto felt in the friendship of Mr Monckton, she + held it utterly unjust to condemn him without proof, which she was not + more unable to procure, than to satisfy herself with any reason why so + perfidiously he should calumniate her. + </p> + <p> + Comfortless, however, and tormented with conjectures equally vague and + afflicting, she could only clear him to be lost in perplexity, she could + only accuse him to be penetrated with horror. She endeavoured to suspend + her judgment till time should develop the mystery, and only for the + present sought to finish her business and leave London. + </p> + <p> + She renewed, therefore, again, the subject of Mr Briggs, and told him how + vain had been her effort to settle with him. Mr Monckton instantly offered + his services in assisting her, and the next morning they went together to + his house, where, after an obstinate battle, they gained a complete + victory: Mr Briggs gave up all his accounts, and, in a few days, by the + active interference of Mr Monckton, her affairs were wholly taken out of + his hands. He stormed, and prophesied all ill to Cecilia, but it was not + to any purpose; he was so disagreeable to her, by his manners, and so + unintelligible to her in matters of business, that she was happy to have + done with him; even though, upon inspecting his accounts, they were all + found clear and exact, and his desire to retain his power over her + fortune, proved to have no other motive than a love of money so potent, + that to manage it, even for another, gave him a satisfaction he knew not + how to relinquish. + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton, who, though a man of pleasure, understood business perfectly + well, now instructed and directed her in making a general arrangement of + her affairs. The estate which devolved to her from her uncle, and which + was all in landed property, she continued to commit to the management of + the steward who was employed in his life-time; and her own fortune from + her father, which was all in the stocks, she now diminished to nothing by + selling out to pay Mr Monckton the principal and interest which she owed + him, and by settling with her Bookseller. + </p> + <p> + While these matters were transacting, which, notwithstanding her eagerness + to leave town, could not be brought into such a train as to permit her + absence in less than a week, she passed her time chiefly alone. Her wishes + all inclined her to bestow it upon Henrietta, but the late attack of Mr + Delvile had frightened her from keeping up that connection, since however + carefully she might confine it to the daughter, Mrs Belfield, she was + certain, would impute it all to the son. + </p> + <p> + That attack rested upon her mind, in defiance of all her endeavours to + banish it; the contempt with which it was made seemed intentionally + offensive, as if he had been happy to derive from her supposed ill + conduct, a right to triumph over as well as reject her. She concluded, + also, that Delvile would be informed of these calumnies, yet she judged + his generosity by her own, and was therefore convinced he would not credit + them: but what chiefly at this time encreased her sadness and uneasiness, + was the mention of Mrs Delvile's broken constitution and ruined health. + She had always preserved for that lady the most affectionate respect, and + could not consider herself as the cause of her sufferings, without feeling + the utmost concern, however conscious she had not wilfully occasioned + them. + </p> + <p> + Nor was this scene the only one by which her efforts to forget this family + were defeated; her watchful monitor, Albany, failed not again to claim her + promise; and though Mr Monckton earnestly exhorted her not to trust + herself out with him, she preferred a little risk to the keenness of his + reproaches, and the weather being good on the morning that he called, she + consented to accompany him in his rambles: only charging her footman to + follow where-ever they went, and not to fail enquiring for her if she + stayed long out of his sight. These precautions were rather taken to + satisfy Mr Monckton than herself, who, having now procured intelligence of + the former disorder of his intellects, was fearful of some extravagance, + and apprehensive for her safety. + </p> + <p> + He took her to a miserable house in a court leading into Piccadilly, + where, up three pair of stairs, was a wretched woman ill in bed, while a + large family of children were playing in the room. + </p> + <p> + “See here,” cried he, “what human nature can endure! look at that poor + wretch, distracted with torture, yet lying in all this noise! unable to + stir in her bed, yet without any assistant! suffering the pangs of acute + disease, yet wanting the necessaries of life!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia went up to the bed-side, and enquired more particularly into the + situation of the invalid; but finding she could hardly speak from pain, + she sent for the woman of the house, who kept a Green Grocer's shop on the + ground floor, and desired her to hire a nurse for her sick lodger, to call + all the children down stairs, and to send for an apothecary, whose bill + she promised to pay. She then gave her some money to get what necessaries + might be wanted, and said she would come again in two days to see how they + went on. + </p> + <p> + Albany, who listened to these directions with silent, yet eager attention, + now clasped both his hands with a look of rapture, and exclaimed “Virtue + yet lives,—and I have found her?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, proud of such praise, and ambitious to deserve it, chearfully + said, “where, Sir, shall we go now?” + </p> + <p> + “Home;” answered he with an aspect the most benign; “I will not wear out + thy pity by rendering woe familiar to it.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, though at this moment more disposed for acts of charity than for + business or for pleasure, remembered that her fortune however large was + not unlimited, and would not press any further bounty for objects she knew + not, certain that occasions and claimants, far beyond her ability of + answering, would but too frequently arise among those with whom she was + more connected, she therefore yielded herself to his direction, and + returned to Soho-Square. + </p> + <p> + Again, however, he failed not to call the time she had appointed for + re-visiting the invalid, to whom, with much gladness, he conducted her. + </p> + <p> + The poor woman, whose disease was a rheumatic fever, was already much + better; she had been attended by an apothecary who had given her some + alleviating medicine; she had a nurse at her bedside, and the room being + cleared of the children, she had had the refreshment of some sleep. + </p> + <p> + She was now able to raise her head, and make her acknowledgments to her + benefactress; but not a little was the surprise of Cecilia, when, upon + looking in her face, she said, “Ah, madam, I have seen you before!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who had not the smallest recollection of her, in return desired + to know when, or where? + </p> + <p> + “When you were going to be married, madam, I was the Pew-Opener at —— + Church.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia started with secret horror, and involuntarily retreated from the + bed; while Albany with a look of astonishment exclaimed, “Married!—why, + then, is it unknown?” + </p> + <p> + “Ask me not!” cried she, hastily; “it is all a mistake.” + </p> + <p> + “Poor thing!” cried he, “this, then, is the string thy nerves endure not + to have touched! sooner will I expire than a breath of mine shall make it + vibrate! Oh sacred be thy sorrow, for thou canst melt at that of the + indigent!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then made a few general enquiries, and heard that the poor woman, + who was a widow, had been obliged to give up her office, from the frequent + attacks which she suffered of the rheumatism; that she had received much + assistance both from the Rector and the Curate of —— Church, + but her continual illness, with the largeness of her family, kept her + distressed in spite of all help. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia promised to consider what she could do for her, and then giving + her more money, returned to Lady Margaret's. + </p> + <p> + Albany, who found that the unfortunate recollection of the Pew-Opener had + awakened in his young pupil a melancholy train of reflections, seemed now + to compassionate the sadness which hitherto he had reproved, and walking + silently by her side till she came to Soho-Square, said in accents of + kindness, “Peace light upon thy head, and dissipate thy woes!” and left + her. + </p> + <p> + “Ah when!” cried she to herself, “if thus they are to be revived + for-ever!” + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton, who observed that something had greatly affected her, now + expostulated warmly against Albany and his wild schemes; “You trifle with + your own happiness,” he cried, “by witnessing these scenes of distress, + and you will trifle away your fortune upon projects you can never fulfil: + the very air in those miserable houses is unwholesome for you to breathe; + you will soon be affected with some of the diseases to which you so + uncautiously expose yourself, and while not half you give in charity will + answer the purpose you wish, you will be plundered by cheats and sharpers + till you have nothing left to bestow. You must be more considerate for + yourself, and not thus governed by Albany, whose insanity is but partially + cured, and whose projects are so boundless, that the whole capital of the + East India Company would not suffice to fulfil them.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, though she liked not the severity of this remonstrance, + acknowledged there was some truth in it, and promised to be discreet, and + take the reins into her own hands. + </p> + <p> + There remained for her, however, no other satisfaction; and the path which + had thus been pointed out to her, grew more and more alluring every step. + Her old friends, the poor Hills, now occurred to her memory, and she + determined to see herself in what manner they went on. + </p> + <p> + The scene which this enquiry presented to her, was by no means calculated + to strengthen Mr Monckton's doctrine, for the prosperity in which she + found this little family, amply rewarded the liberality she had shewn to + it, and proved an irresistible encouragement to similar actions. Mrs Hill + wept for joy in recounting how well she succeeded, and Cecilia, delighted + by the power of giving such pleasure, forgot all cautions and promises in + the generosity which she displayed. She paid Mrs Roberts the arrears that + were due to her, she discharged all that was owing for the children who + had been put to school, desired they might still be sent to it solely at + her expense, and gave the mother a sum of money to be laid out in presents + for them all. + </p> + <p> + To perform her promise with the Pew Opener was however more difficult; her + ill health, and the extreme youth of her children making her utterly + helpless: but these were not considerations for Cecilia to desert her, but + rather motives for regarding her as more peculiarly an object of charity. + She found she had once been a clear starcher, and was a tolerable plain + work-woman; she resolved, therefore, to send her into the country, where + she hoped to be able to get her some business, and knew that at least, she + could help her, if unsuccessful, and see that her children were brought up + to useful employments. The woman herself was enchanted at the plan, and + firmly persuaded the country air would restore her health. Cecilia told + her only to wait till she was well enough to travel, and promised, in the + mean time, to look out some little habitation for her. She then gave her + money to pay her bills, and for her journey, and writing a full direction + where she would hear of her at Bury, took leave of her till that time. + </p> + <p> + These magnificent donations and designs, being communicated to Albany, + seemed a renovation to him of youth, spirit, and joy! while their effect + upon Mr Monckton resembled an annihilation of all three! to see money thus + sported away, which he had long considered as his own, to behold those + sums which he had destined for his pleasures, thus lavishly bestowed upon + beggars, excited a rage he could with difficulty conceal, and an + uneasiness he could hardly endure; and he languished, he sickened for the + time, when he might put a period to such romantic proceedings. + </p> + <p> + Such were the only occupations which interrupted the solitude of Cecilia, + except those which were given to her by actual business; and the moment + her affairs were in so much forwardness that they could be managed by + letters, she prepared for returning into the country. She acquainted Lady + Margaret and Mr Monckton with her design, and gave orders to her servants + to be ready to set off the next day. + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton made not any opposition, and refused himself the satisfaction + of accompanying her: and Lady Margaret, whose purpose was now answered, + and who wished to be in the country herself, determined to follow her. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER vi. — A DISTURBANCE. + </h2> + <p> + This matter being settled at breakfast, Cecilia, having but one day more + to spend in London, knew not how to let it pass without taking leave of + Henrietta, though she chose not again to expose herself to the forward + insinuations of her mother; she sent her, therefore, a short note, begging + to see her at Lady Margaret's, and acquainting her that the next day she + was going out of town. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta returned the following answer. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Beverley</i>. + </p> + <p> + Madam,—My mother is gone to market, and I must not go out without + her leave; I have run to the door at every knock this whole week in hopes + you were coming, and my heart has jumpt at every coach that has gone + through the street. Dearest lady, why did you tell me you would come? I + should not have thought of such a great honour if you had not put it in my + head. And now I have got the use of a room where I can often be alone for + two or three hours together. And so I shall this morning, if it was + possible my dear Miss Beverley could come. But I don't mean to be teasing, + and I would not be impertinent or encroaching for the world; but only the + thing is I have a great deal to say to you, and if you was not so rich a + lady, and so much above me, I am sure I should love you better than any + body in the whole world, almost; and now I dare say I shan't see you at + all; for it rains very hard, and my mother, I know, will be sadly angry if + I ask to go in a coach. O dear! I don't know what I can do! for it will + half break my heart, if my dear Miss Beverley should go out of town, and I + not see her!—I am, Madam, with the greatest respectfulness, your + most humble servant, + </p> + <p> + HENRIETTA BELFIELD. + </p> + <p> + This artless remonstrance, joined to the intelligence that she could see + her alone, made Cecilia instantly order a chair, and go herself to + Portland-street: for she found by this letter there was much doubt if she + could otherwise see her, and the earnestness of Henrietta made her now not + endure to disappoint her. “She has much,” cried she, “to say to me, and I + will no longer refuse to hear her; she shall unbosom to me her gentle + heart, for we have now nothing to fear from each other. She promises + herself pleasure from the communication, and doubtless it must be some + relief to her. Oh were there any friendly bosom, in which I might myself + confide!—happier Henrietta! less fearful of thy pride, less + tenacious of thy dignity! thy sorrows at least seek the consolation of + sympathy,—mine, alas! fettered by prudence, must fly it!” + </p> + <p> + She was shewn into the parlour, which she had the pleasure to find empty; + and, in an instant, the warm-hearted Henrietta was in her arms. “This is + sweet of you indeed,” cried she, “for I did not know how to ask it, though + it rains so hard I could not have walked to you, and I don't know what I + should have done, if you had gone away and quite forgot me.” + </p> + <p> + She then took her into the back parlour, which she said they had lately + hired, and, as it was made but little use of, she had it almost entirely + to herself. + </p> + <p> + There had passed a sad scene, she told her, at the meeting with her + brother, though now they were a little more comfortable; yet, her mother, + she was sure, would never be at rest till he got into some higher way of + life; “And, indeed, I have some hopes,” she continued, “that we shall be + able by and bye to do something better for him; for he has got one friend + in the world, yet; thank God, and such a noble friend!—indeed I + believe he can do whatever he pleases for him,—that is I mean I + believe if he was to ask any thing for him, there's nobody would deny him. + And this is what I wanted to talk to you about.”— + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who doubted not but she meant Delvile, scarce knew how to press + the subject, though she came with no other view: Henrietta, however, too + eager to want solicitation, went on. + </p> + <p> + “But the question is whether we shall be able to prevail upon my brother + to accept any thing, for he grows more and more unwilling to be obliged, + and the reason is, that being poor, he is afraid, I believe, people should + think he wants to beg of them: though if they knew him as well as I do, + they would not long think that, for I am sure he would a great deal rather + be starved to death. But indeed, to say the truth, I am afraid he has been + sadly to blame in this affair, and quarrelled when there was no need to be + affronted; for I have seen a gentleman who knows a great deal better than + my brother what people should do, and he says he took every thing wrong + that was done, all the time he was at Lord Vannelt's.” + </p> + <p> + “And how does this gentleman know it?” + </p> + <p> + “O because he went himself to enquire about it; for he knows Lord Vannelt + very well, and it was by his means my brother came acquainted with him. + And this gentleman would not have wished my brother to be used ill any + more than I should myself, so I am sure I may believe what he says. But my + poor brother, not being a lord himself, thought every body meant to be + rude to him, and because he knew he was poor, he suspected they all + behaved disrespectfully to him. But this gentleman gave me his word that + every body liked him and esteemed him, and if he would not have been so + suspicious, they would all have done any thing for him in the world.” + </p> + <p> + “You know this gentleman very well, then?” + </p> + <p> + “O no, madam!” she answered hastily, “I don't know him at all! he only + comes here to see my brother; it would be very impertinent for me to call + him an acquaintance of mine.” + </p> + <p> + “Was it before your brother, then, he held this conversation with you?” + </p> + <p> + “O no, my brother would have been affronted with him, too, if he had! but + he called here to enquire for him at the time when he was lost to us, and + my mother quite went down upon her knees to him to beg him to go to Lord + Vannelt's, and make excuses for him, if he had not behaved properly: but + if my brother was to know this, he would hardly speak to her again! so + when this gentleman came next, I begged him not to mention it, for my + mother happened to be out, and so I saw him alone.” + </p> + <p> + “And did he stay with you long?” + </p> + <p> + “No, ma'am, a very short time indeed; but I asked him questions all the + while, and kept him as long as I could, that I might hear all he had to + say about my brother.” + </p> + <p> + “Have you never seen him since?” + </p> + <p> + “No, ma'am, not once! I suppose he does not know my brother is come back + to us. Perhaps when he does, he will call.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you wish him to call?” + </p> + <p> + “Me?” cried she, blushing, “a little;—sometimes I do;—for my + brother's sake.” + </p> + <p> + “For your brother's sake! Ah my dear Henrietta! but tell me,—or <i>don't</i> + tell me if you had rather not,—did I not once see you kissing a + letter? perhaps it was from this same noble friend?” + </p> + <p> + “It was not a letter, madam,” said she, looking down, “it was only the + cover of one to my brother.” + </p> + <p> + “The cover of a letter only!—and that to your brother!—is it + possible you could so much value it?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah madam! <i>You</i>, who are always used to the good and the wise, who + see no other sort of people but those in high life, <i>you</i> can have no + notion how they strike those that they are new to!—but I who see + them seldom, and who live with people so very unlike them—Oh you + cannot guess how sweet to <i>me</i> is every thing that belongs to them! + whatever has but once been touched by their hands, I should like to lock + up, and keep for ever! though if I was used to them, as you are, perhaps I + might think less of them.” + </p> + <p> + Alas! thought Cecilia, who by <i>them</i> knew she only meant <i>him</i>, + little indeed would further intimacy protect you! + </p> + <p> + “We are all over-ready,” continued Henrietta, “to blame others, and that + is the way I have been doing all this time myself; but I don't blame my + poor brother now for living so with the great as I used to do, for now I + have seen a little more of the world, I don't wonder any longer at his + behaviour: for I know how it is, and I see that those who have had good + educations, and kept great company, and mixed with the world,—O it + is another thing!—they seem quite a different species!—they + are so gentle, so soft-mannered! nothing comes from them but what is meant + to oblige! they seem as if they only lived to give pleasure to other + people, and as if they never thought at all of themselves!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah Henrietta!” said Cecilia, shaking her head, “you have caught the + enthusiasm of your brother, though you so long condemned it! Oh have a + care lest, like him also, you find it as pernicious as it is alluring!” + </p> + <p> + “There, is no danger for <i>me</i>, madam,” answered she, “for the people + I so much admire are quite out of my reach. I hardly ever even see them; + and perhaps it may so happen I may see them no more!” + </p> + <p> + “The people?” said Cecilia, smiling, “are there, then, many you so much + distinguish?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh no indeed!” cried she, eagerly, “there is only one! there <i>can</i> + be—I mean there are only a few—” she checked herself, and + stopt. + </p> + <p> + “Whoever you admire,” cried Cecilia, “your admiration cannot but honour: + yet indulge it not too far, lest it should wander from your heart to your + peace, and make you wretched for life.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah madam!—I see you know who is the particular person I was + thinking of! but indeed you are quite mistaken if you suppose any thing + bad of me!” + </p> + <p> + “Bad of you!” cried Cecilia, embracing her, “I scarce think so well of any + one!” + </p> + <p> + “But I mean, madam, if you think I forget he is so much above me. But + indeed I never do; for I only admire him for his goodness to my brother, + and never think of him at all, but just by way of comparing him, + sometimes, to the other people that I see, because he makes me hate them + so, that I wish I was never to see them again.” + </p> + <p> + “His acquaintance, then,” said Cecilia, “has done you but an ill office, + and happy it would be for you could you forget you had ever made it.” + </p> + <p> + “O, I shall never do that! for the more I think of him, the more I am out + of humour with every body else! O Miss Beverley! we have a sad + acquaintance indeed! I'm sure I don't wonder my brother was so ashamed of + them. They are all so rude, and so free, and put one so out of + countenance,—O how different is this person you are thinking of! he + would not distress anybody, or make one ashamed for all the world! <i>You</i> + only are like him! always gentle, always obliging!—sometimes I think + you must be his sister—once, too, I heard—but that was + contradicted.” + </p> + <p> + A deep sigh escaped Cecilia at this speech; she guessed too well what she + might have heard, and she knew too well how it might be contradicted. + </p> + <p> + “Surely, <i>you</i> cannot be unhappy, Miss Beverley!” said Henrietta, + with a look of mingled surprise and concern. + </p> + <p> + “I have much, I own,” cried Cecilia, assuming more chearfulness, “to be + thankful for, and I endeavour not to forget it.” + </p> + <p> + “O how often do I think,” cried Henrietta, “that you, madam, are the + happiest person in the world! with every thing at your own disposal,—with + every body in love with you, with all the money that you can wish for, and + so much sweetness that nobody can envy you it! with power to keep just + what company you please, and every body proud to be one of the number!—Oh + if I could chuse who I would be, I should sooner say Miss Beverley than + any princess in the world!” + </p> + <p> + Ah, thought Cecilia, if such is my situation,—how cruel that by one + dreadful blow all its happiness should be thrown away! + </p> + <p> + “Were I a rich lady, like you,” continued Henrietta, “and quite in my own + power, then, indeed, I might soon think of nothing but those people that I + admire! and that makes me often wonder that <i>you</i>, madam, who are + just such another as himself—but then, indeed, you may see so many + of the same sort, that just this one may not so much strike you: and for + that reason I hope with all my heart that he will never be married as long + as he lives, for as he must take some lady in just such high life as his + own, I should always be afraid that she would never love him as she ought + to do!” + </p> + <p> + He need not now be single, thought Cecilia, were that all he had cause to + apprehend! + </p> + <p> + “I often think,” added Henrietta, “that the rich would be as much happier + for marrying the poor, as the poor for marrying the rich, for then they + would take somebody that would try to deserve their kindness, and now they + only take those that know they have a right to it. Often and often have I + thought so about this very gentleman! and sometimes when I have been in + his company, and seen his civility and his sweetness, I have fancied I was + rich and grand myself, and it has quite gone out of my head that I was + nothing but poor Henrietta Belfield!” + </p> + <p> + “Did he, then,” cried Cecilia a little alarmed, “ever seek to ingratiate + himself into your favour?” + </p> + <p> + “No, never! but when treated with so much softness, 'tis hard always to + remember one's meanness! You, madam, have no notion of that task: no more + had I myself till lately, for I cared not who was high, nor who was low: + but now, indeed, I must own I have some times wished myself richer! yet he + assumes so little, that at other times, I have almost forgot all distance + between us, and even thought—Oh foolish thought!— + </p> + <p> + “Tell it, sweet Henrietta, however!” + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you, madam, every thing! for my heart has been bursting to + open itself, and nobody have I dared trust. I have thought, then, I have + sometimes thought,—my true affection, my faithful fondness, my glad + obedience,—might make him, if he did but know them, happier in me + than in a greater lady!” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed,” cried Cecilia, extremely affected by this plaintive tenderness, + “I believe it—and were I him, I could not, I think, hesitate a + moment in my choice!” + </p> + <p> + Henrietta now, hearing her mother coming in, made a sign to her to be + silent; but Mrs Belfield had not been an instant in the passage, before a + thundering knocking at the street-door occasioned it to be instantly + re-opened. A servant then enquired if Mrs Belfield was at home, and being + answered by herself in the affirmative, a chair was brought into the + house. + </p> + <p> + But what was the astonishment of Cecilia, when, in another moment, she + heard from the next parlour the voice of Mr Delvile senior, saying, “Your + servant, ma'am; Mrs Belfield, I presume?” + </p> + <p> + There was no occasion, now, to make a sign to her of silence, for her own + amazement was sufficient to deprive her of speech. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, Sir,” answered Mrs Belfield; “but I suppose, Sir, you are some + gentleman to my son.” + </p> + <p> + “No, madam,” he returned, “my business is with yourself.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia now recovering from her surprise, determined to hasten unnoticed + out of the house, well knowing that to be seen in it would be regarded as + a confirmation of all that he had asserted. She whispered, therefore, to + Henrietta, that she must instantly run away, but, upon softly opening the + door leading to the passage, she found Mr Delvile's chairmen, and a + footman there in waiting. + </p> + <p> + She closed it again, irresolute what to do: but after a little + deliberation, she concluded to out-stay him, as she was known to all his + servants, who would not fail to mention seeing her; and a retreat so + private was worse than any other risk. A chair was also in waiting for + herself, but it was a hackney one, and she could not be known by it; and + her footman she had fortunately dismissed, as he had business to transact + for her journey next day. + </p> + <p> + Mean-while the thinness of the partition between the two parlours made her + hearing every word that was said unavoidable. + </p> + <p> + “I am sure, Sir, I shall be very willing to oblige you,” Mrs Belfield + answered; “but pray, Sir, what's your name?” + </p> + <p> + “My name, ma'am,” he replied, in a rather elevated voice, “I am seldom + obliged to announce myself; nor is there any present necessity I should + make it known. It is sufficient I assure you, you are speaking to no very + common person, and probably to one you will have little chance to meet + with again.” + </p> + <p> + “But how can I tell your business, Sir, if I don't so much as know your + name?” + </p> + <p> + “My business, madam, I mean to tell myself; your affair is only to hear + it. I have some questions, indeed, to ask, which I must trouble you to + answer, but they will sufficiently explain themselves to prevent any + difficulty upon your part. There is no need, therefore, of any + introductory ceremonial.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Sir,” said Mrs Belfield, wholly insensible of this ambiguous + greatness, “if you mean to make your name a secret.” + </p> + <p> + “Few names, I believe, ma'am,” cried he, haughtily, “have less the + advantage of secrecy than mine! on the contrary, this is but one among a + very few houses in this town to which my person would not immediately + announce it. That, however, is immaterial; and you will be so good as to + rest satisfied with my assurances, that the person with whom you are now + conversing, will prove no disgrace to your character.” + </p> + <p> + Mrs Belfield, overpowered, though hardly knowing, with what, only said <i>he + was very welcome</i>, and begged him to sit down. + </p> + <p> + “Excuse me, ma'am,” he answered, “My business is but of a moment, and my + avocations are too many to suffer my infringing that time. You say you + have a son; I have heard of him, also, somewhere before; pray will you + give me leave to enquire—I don't mean to go deep into the matter,—but + particular family occurrences make it essential for me to know,—whether + there is not a young person of rather a capital fortune, to whom he is + supposed to make proposals?” + </p> + <p> + “Lack-a-day, no, Sir!” answered Mrs Belfield, to the infinite relief of + Cecilia, who instantly concluded this question referred to herself. + </p> + <p> + “I beg your pardon, then; good morning to you, ma'am,” said Mr Delvile, in + a tone that spoke his disappointment; but added “And there is no such + young person, you say, who favours his pretensions?” + </p> + <p> + “Dear Sir,” cried she, “why there's nobody he'll so much as put the + question to! there's a young lady at this very time, a great fortune, that + has as much a mind to him, I tell him, as any man need desire to see; but + there's no making him think it! though he has been brought up at the + university, and knows more about all the things, or as much, as any body + in the king's dominions.” + </p> + <p> + “O, then,” cried Mr Delvile, in a voice of far more complacency, “it is + not on the side of the young woman that the difficulty seems to rest?” + </p> + <p> + “Lord, no, Sir! he might have had her again and again only for asking! She + came after him ever so often; but being brought up, as I said, at the + university, he thought he knew better than me, and so my preaching was all + as good as lost upon him.” + </p> + <p> + The consternation of Cecilia at these speeches could by nothing be + equalled but by the shame of Henrietta, who, though she knew not to whom + her mother made them, felt all the disgrace and the shock of them herself. + </p> + <p> + “I suppose, Sir,” continued Mrs Belfield, “you know my son?” + </p> + <p> + “No, ma'am, my acquaintance is—not very universal.” + </p> + <p> + “Then, Sir, you are no judge how well he might make his own terms. And as + to this young lady, she found him out, Sir, when not one of his own + natural friends could tell where in the world he was gone! She was the + first, Sir, to come and tell me news of him though I was his own mother! + Love, Sir, is prodigious for quickness! it can see, I sometimes think, + through bricks and mortar. Yet all this would not do, he was so obstinate + not to take the hint!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia now felt so extremely provoked, she was upon the point of bursting + in upon them to make her own vindication; but as her passions, though they + tried her reason never conquered it, she restrained herself by considering + that to issue forth from a room in that house, would do more towards + strengthening what was thus boldly asserted, than all her protestations + could have chance to destroy. + </p> + <p> + “And as to young ladies themselves,” continued Mrs Belfield, “they know no + more how to make their minds known than a baby does: so I suppose he'll + shilly shally till somebody else will cry snap, and take her. It is but a + little while ago that it was all the report she was to have young Mr + Delvile, one of her guardian's sons.” + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry report was so impertinent,” cried Mr Delvile, with much + displeasure; “young Mr Delvile is not to be disposed of with so little + ceremony; he knows better what is due to his family.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia here blushed from indignation, and Henrietta sighed from + despondency. + </p> + <p> + “Lord, Sir,” answered Mrs Belfield, “what should his family do better? I + never heard they were any so rich, and I dare say the old gentleman, being + her guardian, took care to put his son enough in her way, however it came + about that they did not make a match of it: for as to old Mr Delvile, all + the world says—-” + </p> + <p> + “All the world takes a very great liberty,” angrily interrupted Mr + Delvile, “in saying any thing about him: and you will excuse my informing + you that a person of his rank and consideration, is not lightly to be + mentioned upon every little occasion that occurs.” + </p> + <p> + “Lord, Sir,” cried Mrs Belfield, somewhat surprised at this unexpected + prohibition, “I don't care for my part if I never mention the old + gentleman's name again! I never heard any good of him in my life, for they + say he's as proud as Lucifer, and nobody knows what it's of, for they say—” + </p> + <p> + “<i>They</i> say?” cried he, firing with rage, “and who are <i>they</i>? + be so good as inform me that?” + </p> + <p> + “Lord, every body, Sir! it's his common character.” + </p> + <p> + “Then every body is extremely indecent,” speaking very loud, “to pay no + more respect to one of the first families in England. It is a + licentiousness that ought by no means to be suffered with impunity.” + </p> + <p> + Here, the street-door being kept open by the servants in waiting, a new + step was heard in the passage, which Henrietta immediately knowing, + turned, with uplifted hands to Cecilia, and whispered, “How unlucky! it's + my brother! I thought he would not have returned till night!” + </p> + <p> + “Surely he will not come in here?” re-whispered Cecilia. + </p> + <p> + But, at the same moment, he opened the door, and entered the room. He was + immediately beginning an apology, and starting back, but Henrietta + catching him by the arm, told him in a low voice, that she had made use of + his room because she had thought him engaged for the day, but begged him + to keep still and quiet, as the least noise would discover them. + </p> + <p> + Belfield then stopt; but the embarrassment of Cecilia was extreme; to find + herself in his room after the speeches she had heard from his mother, and + to continue with him in it by connivance, when she knew she had been + represented as quite at his service, distressed and provoked her + immeasurably; and she felt very angry with Henrietta for not sooner + informing her whose apartment she had borrowed. Yet now to remove, and to + be seen, was not to be thought of; she kept, therefore, fixed to her seat, + though changing colour every moment from the variety of her emotions. + </p> + <p> + During this painful interruption she lost Mrs Belfield's next answer, and + another speech or two from Mr Delvile, to whose own passion and loudness + was owing Belfield's entering his room unheard: but the next voice that + called their attention was that of Mr Hobson, who just then walked into + the parlour. + </p> + <p> + “Why what's to do here?” cried he, facetiously, “nothing but chairs and + livery servants! Why, ma'am, what is this your rout day? Sir your most + humble servant. I ask pardon, but I did not know you at first. But come, + suppose we were all to sit down? Sitting's as cheap as standing, and what + I say is this; when a man's tired, it's more agreeable.” + </p> + <p> + “Have you any thing further, ma'am,” said Mr Delvile, with great + solemnity, “to communicate to me?” + </p> + <p> + “No, Sir,” said Mrs Belfield, rather angrily, “it's no business of mine to + be communicating myself to a gentleman that I don't know the name of. Why, + Mr Hobson, how come you to know the gentleman?” + </p> + <p> + “To know <i>me</i>!” repeated Mr Delvile, scornfully. + </p> + <p> + “Why I can't say much, ma'am,” answered Mr Hobson, “as to my knowing the + gentleman, being I have been in his company but once; and what I say is, + to know a person if one leaves but a quart in a hogshead, it's two pints + too much. That's my notion. But, Sir, that was but an ungain business at + 'Squire Monckton's t'other morning. Every body was no-how, as one may say. + But, Sir, if I may be so free, pray what is your private opinion of that + old gentleman that talked so much out of the way?” + </p> + <p> + “My private opinion, Sir?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, Sir; I mean if it's no secret, for as to a secret, I hold it's what + no man has a right to enquire into, being of its own nature it's a thing + not to be told. Now as to what I think myself, my doctrine is this; I am + quite of the old gentleman's mind about some things, and about others I + hold him to be quite wide of the mark. But as to talking in such a whisky + frisky manner that nobody can understand him, why its tantamount to not + talking at all, being he might as well hold his tongue. That's what <i>I</i> + say. And then as to that other article, of abusing a person for not giving + away all his lawful gains to every cripple in the streets, just because he + happens to have but one leg, or one eye, or some such matter, why it's + knowing nothing of business! it's what <i>I</i> call talking at random.” + </p> + <p> + “When you have finished, Sir,” said Mr Delvile, “you will be so good to + let me know.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't mean to intrude, Sir; that's not my way, so if you are upon + business—” + </p> + <p> + “What else, Sir, could you suppose brought me hither? However, I by no + means purpose any discussion. I have only a few words more to say to this + gentlewoman, and as my time is not wholly inconsequential, I should not be + sorry to have an early opportunity of being heard.” + </p> + <p> + “I shall leave you with the lady directly, Sir; for I know business better + than to interrupt it: but seeing chairs in the entry, my notion was I + should see ladies in the parlour, not much thinking of gentlemen's going + about in that manner, being I never did it myself. But I have nothing to + offer against that; let every man have his own way; that's what <i>I</i> + say. Only just let me ask the lady before I go, what's the meaning of my + seeing two chairs in the entry, and only a person for one in the parlour? + The gentleman, I suppose, did not come in <i>both</i>; ha! ha! ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Why now you put me in mind,” said Mrs Belfield, “I saw a chair as soon as + I come in; and I was just going to say who's here, when this gentleman's + coming put it out of my head.” + </p> + <p> + “Why this is what I call Hocus Pocus work!” said Mr Hobson; “but I shall + make free to ask the chairmen who they are waiting for.” + </p> + <p> + Mrs Belfield, however, anticipated him; for running into the passage, she + angrily called out, “What do you do here, Misters? do you only come to be + out of the rain? I'll have no stand made of my entry, I can tell you!” + </p> + <p> + “Why we are waiting for the lady,” cried one of them. + </p> + <p> + “Waiting for a fiddlestick!” said Mrs Belfield; “here's no lady here, nor + no company; so if you think I'll have my entry filled up by two hulking + fellows for nothing, I shall shew you the difference. One's dirt enough of + one's own, without taking people out of the streets to help one. Who do + you think's to clean after you?” + </p> + <p> + “That's no business of ours; the lady bid us wait,” answered the man. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia at this dispute could with pleasure have cast herself out of the + window to avoid being discovered; but all plan of escape was too late; Mrs + Belfield called aloud for her daughter, and then, returning to the front + parlour, said, “I'll soon know if there's company come to my house without + my knowing it!” and opened a door leading to the next room! + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who had hitherto sat fixed to her chair, now hastily arose, but + in a confusion too cruel for speech: Belfield, wondering even at his own + situation, and equally concerned and surprised at her evident distress, + had himself the feeling of a culprit, though without the least knowledge + of any cause: and Henrietta, terrified at the prospect of her mother's + anger, retreated as much as possible out of sight. + </p> + <p> + Such was the situation of the discovered, abashed, perplexed, and + embarrassed! while that of the discoverers, far different, was bold, + delighted, and triumphant! + </p> + <p> + “So!” cried Mrs Belfield, “why here's Miss Beverley!—in my son's + back room!” winking at Mr Delvile. + </p> + <p> + “Why here's a lady, sure enough!” said Mr Hobson, “and just where she + should be, and that is with a gentleman. Ha! ha! that's the right way, + according to my notion! that's the true maxim for living agreeable.” + </p> + <p> + “I came to see Miss Belfield,” cried Cecilia, endeavouring, but vainly, to + speak with composure, “and she brought me into this room.” + </p> + <p> + “I am but this moment,” cried Belfield, with eagerness, “returned home; + and unfortunately broke into the room, from total ignorance of the honour + which Miss Beverley did my sister.” + </p> + <p> + These speeches, though both literally true, sounded, in the circumstances + which brought them out, so much as mere excuses, that while Mr Delvile + haughtily marked his incredulity by a motion of his chin, Mrs Belfield + continued winking at him most significantly, and Mr Hobson, with still + less ceremony, laughed aloud. + </p> + <p> + “I have nothing more, ma'am,” said Mr Delvile to Mrs Belfield, “to + enquire, for the few doubts with which I came to this house are now + entirely satisfied. Good morning to you, ma'am.” + </p> + <p> + “Give me leave, Sir,” said Cecilia, advancing with more spirit, “to + explain, in presence of those who can best testify my veracity, the real + circumstances—” + </p> + <p> + “I would by no means occasion you such unnecessary trouble, ma'am,” + answered he, with an air at once exulting and pompous, “the situation in + which I see you abundantly satisfies my curiosity, and saves me from the + apprehension I was under of being again convicted of a <i>mistake</i>!” + </p> + <p> + He then made her a stiff bow, and went to his chair. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, colouring deeply at this contemptuous treatment, coldly took + leave of Henrietta, and courtsying to Mrs Belfield, hastened into the + passage, to get into her own. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta was too much intimidated to speak, and Belfield was too delicate + to follow her; Mr Hobson only said “The young lady seems quite dashed;” + but Mrs Belfield pursued her with entreaties she would stay. + </p> + <p> + She was too angry, however, to make any answer but by a distant bow of the + head, and left the house with a resolution little short of a vow never + again to enter it. + </p> + <p> + Her reflections upon this unfortunate visit were bitter beyond measure; + the situation in which she had been surprised,—clandestinely + concealed with only Belfield and his sister—joined to the positive + assertions of her partiality for him made by his mother, could not, to Mr + Delvile, but appear marks irrefragable that his charge in his former + conversation was rather mild than over-strained, and that the connection + he had mentioned, for whatever motives denied, was incontestably formed. + </p> + <p> + The apparent conviction of this part of the accusation, might also + authorise, to one but too happy in believing ill of her, an implicit faith + in that which regarded her having run out her fortune. His determination + not to hear her shewed the inflexibility of his character; and it was + evident, notwithstanding his parading pretensions of wishing her welfare, + that his inordinate pride was inflamed, at the very supposition he could + be mistaken or deceived for a moment. + </p> + <p> + Even Delvile himself, if gone abroad, might now hear this account with + exaggerations that would baffle all his confidence: his mother, too, + greatly as she esteemed and loved her, might have the matter so + represented as to stagger her good opinion;—these were thoughts the + most afflicting she could harbour, though their probability was such that + to banish them was impossible. + </p> + <p> + To apply again to Mr Delvile to hear her vindication, was to subject + herself to insolence, and almost to court indignity. She disdained even to + write to him, since his behaviour called for resentment, not concession; + and such an eagerness to be heard, in opposition to all discouragement, + would be practising a meanness that would almost merit repulsion. + </p> + <p> + Her first inclination was to write to Mrs Delvile, but what now, to her, + was either her defence or accusation? She had solemnly renounced all + further intercourse with her, she had declared against writing again, and + prohibited her letters: and, therefore, after much fluctuation of opinion, + her delicacy concurred with her judgment, to conclude it would be most + proper, in a situation so intricate, to leave the matter to chance, and + commit her character to time. + </p> + <p> + In the evening, while she was at tea with Lady Margaret and Miss Bennet, + she was suddenly called out to speak to a young woman; and found, to her + great surprise, she was no other than Henrietta. + </p> + <p> + “Ah madam!” she cried, “how angrily did you go away this morning! it has + made me miserable ever since, and if you go out of town without forgiving + me, I shall fret myself quite ill! my mother is gone out to tea, and I + have run here all alone, and in the dark, and in the wet, to beg and pray + you will forgive me, for else I don't know what I shall do!” + </p> + <p> + “Sweet, gentle girl!” cried Cecilia, affectionately embracing her, “if you + had excited all the anger I am capable of feeling, such softness as this + would banish it, and make me love you more than ever!” + </p> + <p> + Henrietta then said, in her excuse, that she had thought herself quite + sure of her brother's absence, who almost always spent the whole day at + the bookseller's, as in writing himself he perpetually wanted to consult + other authors, and had very few books at their lodgings: but she would not + mention that the room was his, lest Cecilia should object to making use of + it, and she knew she had no other chance of having the conversation with + her she had so very long wished for. She then again begged her pardon, and + hoped the behaviour of her mother would not induce her to give her up, as + she was shocked at it beyond measure, and as her brother, she assured her, + was as innocent of it as herself. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia heard her with pleasure, and felt for her an encreasing regard. + The openness of her confidence in the morning had merited all her + affection, and she gave her the warmest protestations of a friendship + which she was certain would be lasting as her life. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta then, with a countenance that spoke the lightness of her heart, + hastily took her leave, saying she did not dare be out longer, lest her + mother should discover her excursion. Cecilia insisted, however, upon her + going in a chair, which she ordered her servant to attend, and take care + himself to discharge. + </p> + <p> + This visit, joined to the tender and unreserved conversation of the + morning, gave Cecilia the strongest desire to invite her to her house in + the country; but the terror of Mrs Belfield's insinuations, added to the + cruel interpretations she had to expect from Mr Delvile, forbid her + indulging this wish, though it was the only one that just now she could + form. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER vii. — A CALM. + </h2> + <p> + Cecilia took leave over night of the family, as she would not stay their + rising in the morning: Mr Monckton, though certain not to sleep when she + was going, forbearing to mark his solicitude by quitting his apartment at + any unusual hour. Lady Margaret parted from her with her accustomed + ungraciousness, and Miss Bennet, because in her presence, in a manner + scarcely less displeasing. + </p> + <p> + The next morning, with only her servants, the moment it was light, she set + out. Her journey was without incident or interruption, and she went + immediately to the house of Mrs Bayley, where she had settled to board + till her own was finished. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Bayley was a mere good sort of woman, who lived decently well with her + servants, and tolerably well with her neighbours, upon a small annuity, + which made her easy and comfortable, though by no means superior to such + an addition to her little income as an occasional boarder might produce. + </p> + <p> + Here Cecilia continued a full month: which time had no other employment + than what she voluntarily gave to herself by active deeds of benevolence. + </p> + <p> + At Christmas, to the no little joy of the neighbourhood, she took + possession of her own house, which was situated about three miles from + Bury. + </p> + <p> + The better sort of people were happy to see her thus settled amongst them, + and the poorer, who by what they already had received, knew well what they + still might expect, regarded the day in which she fixed herself in her + mansion, as a day to themselves of prosperity and triumph. + </p> + <p> + As she was no longer, as hitherto, repairing to a temporary habitation, + which at pleasure she might quit, and to which, at a certain period, she + could have no possible claim, but to a house which was her own for ever, + or, at least, could solely by her own choice be transferred, she + determined, as much as was in her power, in quitting her desultory + dwellings, to empty her mind of the transactions which had passed in them, + and upon entering a house where she was permanently to reside, to make the + expulsion of her past sorrows, the basis upon which to establish her + future serenity. + </p> + <p> + And this, though a work of pain and difficulty, was not impracticable; her + sensibility, indeed, was keen, and she had suffered from it the utmost + torture; but her feelings were not more powerful than her understanding + was strong, and her fortitude was equal to her trials. Her calamities had + saddened, but not weakened her mind, and the words of Delvile in speaking + of his mother occurred to her now with all the conviction of experience, + that “evils inevitable are always best supported, because known to be past + amendment, and felt to give defiance to struggling.” [Footnote: See Vol. + ii. p. 317.] + </p> + <p> + A plan by which so great a revolution was to be wrought in her mind, was + not to be effected by any sudden effort of magnanimity, but by a regular + and even tenour of courage mingled with prudence. Nothing, therefore, + appeared to her so indispensable as constant employment, by which a + variety of new images might force their way in her mind to supplant the + old ones, and by which no time might be allowed for brooding over + melancholy retrospections. + </p> + <p> + Her first effort, in this work of mental reformation, was to part with + Fidel, whom hitherto she had almost involuntarily guarded, but whom she + only could see to revive the most dangerous recollections. She sent him, + therefore, to the castle, but without any message; Mrs Delvile, she was + sure, would require none to make her rejoice in his restoration. + </p> + <p> + Her next step was writing to Albany, who had given her his direction, to + acquaint him she was now ready to put in practice their long concerted + scheme. Albany instantly hastened to her, and joyfully accepted the office + of becoming at once her Almoner and her Monitor. He made it his business + to seek objects of distress, and always but too certain to find them, of + conducting her himself to their habitations, and then leaving to her own + liberality the assistance their several cases demanded: and, in the + overflowing of his zeal upon these occasions, and the rapture of his heart + in thus disposing, almost at his pleasure, of her noble fortune, he + seemed, at times, to feel an extasy that, from its novelty and its excess, + was almost too exquisite to be borne. He joined with the beggars in + pouring blessings upon her head, he prayed for her with the poor, and he + thanked her with the succoured. + </p> + <p> + The pew-opener and her children failed not to keep their appointment, and + Cecilia presently contrived to settle them in her neighbourhood: where the + poor woman, as she recovered her strength, soon got a little work, and all + deficiencies in her power of maintaining herself were supplied by her + generous patroness. The children, however, she ordered to be coarsely + brought up, having no intention to provide for them but by helping them to + common employments. + </p> + <p> + The promise, also, so long made to Mrs Harrel of an apartment in her + house, was now performed. That lady accepted it with the utmost alacrity, + glad to make any change in her situation, which constant solitude had + rendered wholly insupportable. Mr Arnott accompanied her to the house, and + spent one day there; but receiving from Cecilia, though extremely civil + and sweet to him, no hint of any invitation for repeating his visit, he + left it in sadness, and returned to his own in deep dejection. Cecilia saw + with concern how he nourished his hopeless passion, but knew that to + suffer his visits would almost authorise his feeding it; and while she + pitied unaffectedly the unhappiness she occasioned, she resolved to double + her own efforts towards avoiding similar wretchedness. + </p> + <p> + This action, however, was a point of honour, not of friendship, the time + being long since past that the society of Mrs Harrel could afford her any + pleasure; but the promises she had so often made to Mr Harrel in his + distresses, though extorted from her merely by the terrors of the moment, + still were promises, and, therefore, she held herself bound to fulfil + them. + </p> + <p> + Yet far from finding comfort in this addition to her family, Mrs Harrel + proved to her nothing more than a trouble and an incumbrance; with no + inherent resources, she was continually in search of occasional supplies; + she fatigued Cecilia with wonder at the privacy of her life, and tormented + her with proposals of parties and entertainments. She was eternally in + amazement that with powers so large, she had wishes so confined, and was + evidently disappointed that upon coming to so ample an estate, she lived, + with respect to herself and her family, with no more magnificence or shew + than if Heiress to only ú500 a year. + </p> + <p> + But Cecilia was determined to think and to live for herself, without + regard to unmeaning wonder or selfish remonstrances; she had neither + ambition for splendour, nor spirits for dissipation; the recent sorrow of + her heart had deadened it for the present to all personal taste of + happiness, and her only chance for regaining it, seemed through the medium + of bestowing it upon others. She had seen, too, by Mr Harrel, how + wretchedly external brilliancy could cover inward woe, and she had learned + at Delvile Castle to grow sick of parade and grandeur. Her equipage, + therefore, was without glare, though not without elegance, her table was + plain, though hospitably plentiful, her servants were for use, though too + numerous to be for labour. The system of her oeconomy, like that of her + liberality, was formed by rules of reason, and her own ideas of right, and + not by compliance with example, nor by emulation with the gentry in her + neighbourhood. + </p> + <p> + But though thus deviating in her actions from the usual customs of the + young and rich, she was peculiarly careful not to offend them by + singularity of manners. When she mixed with them, she was easy, + unaffected, and well bred, and though she saw them but seldom, her good + humour and desire of obliging kept them always her friends. The plan she + had early formed at Mrs Harrel's she now studied daily to put in practice; + but that part by which the useless or frivolous were to be excluded her + house, she found could only be supported by driving from her half her + acquaintance. + </p> + <p> + Another part, also, of that project she found still less easy of adoption, + which was solacing herself with the society of the wise, good, and + intelligent. Few answered this description, and those few were with + difficulty attainable. Many might with joy have sought out her liberal + dwelling, but no one had idly waited till the moment it was at her + disposal. All who possessed at once both talents and wealth, were so + generally courted they were rarely to be procured; and all who to talents + alone owed their consequence, demanded, if worth acquiring, time and + delicacy to be obtained. Fortune she knew, however, was so often at war + with Nature, that she doubted not shortly meeting those who would gladly + avail themselves of her offered protection. + </p> + <p> + Yet, tired of the murmurs of Mrs Harrel, she longed for some relief from + her society, and her desire daily grew stronger to owe that relief to + Henrietta Belfield. The more she meditated upon this wish, the less + unattainable it appeared to her, till by frequently combating its + difficulties, she began to consider them imaginary: Mrs Belfield, while + her son was actually with herself, might see she took not Henrietta as his + appendage; and Mr Delvile, should he make further enquiries, might hear + that her real connection was with the sister, since she received her in + the country, where the brother made no pretence to follow her. She + considered, too, how ill she should be rewarded in giving up Henrietta for + Mr Delvile, who was already determined to think ill of her, and whose + prejudices no sacrifice would remove. + </p> + <p> + Having hesitated, therefore, some time between the desire of present + alleviation, and the fear of future mischief, the consciousness of her own + innocence at length vanquished all dread of unjust censure, and she wrote + an invitation to Henrietta enclosed in a letter to her mother. + </p> + <p> + The answer of Henrietta expressed her rapture at the proposal; and that of + Mrs Belfield made no objection but to the expence. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, therefore, sent her own maid to travel with her into Suffolk, + with proper directions to pay for the journey. + </p> + <p> + The gratitude of the delighted Henrietta at the meeting was boundless; and + her joy at so unexpected a mark of favour made her half wild. Cecilia + suffered it not to languish for want of kindness to support it; she took + her to her bosom, became the soother of all her cares, and reposed in her, + in return, every thought that led not to Delvile. + </p> + <p> + There, however, she was uniformly silent; solemnly and eternally parted + from him, far from trusting the secret of her former connexion to + Henrietta, the whole study of her life was to drive the remembrance of it + from herself. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta now tasted a happiness to which as yet her whole life had been a + stranger; she was suddenly removed from turbulent vulgarity to the + enjoyment of calm elegance; and the gentleness of her disposition, instead + of being tyrannically imposed upon, not only made her loved with + affection, but treated with the most scrupulous delicacy. Cecilia had her + share in all the comfort she bestowed; she had now a friend to oblige, and + a companion to converse with. She communicated to her all her schemes, and + made her the partner of her benevolent excursions; she found her + disposition as amiable upon trial, as her looks and her manners had been + engaging at first sight; and her constant presence and constant sweetness, + imperceptibly revived her spirits, and gave a new interest to her + existence. + </p> + <p> + Meantime Mr Monckton, who returned in about a fortnight to the Grove, + observed the encreasing influence of Albany with the most serious concern. + The bounties of Cecilia, extensive, magnificent, unlimited, were the theme + of every tongue, and though sometimes censured and sometimes admired, they + were wondered at universally. He suffered her for a while to go on without + remonstrance, hoping her enthusiasm would abate, as its novelty wore out: + but finding that week following week was still distinguished by some fresh + act of beneficence, he grew so alarmed and uneasy, he could restrain + himself no longer. He spoke to her with warmth, he represented her conduct + as highly dangerous in its consequence; he said she would but court + impostors from every corner of the kingdom, called Albany a lunatic, whom + she should rather avoid than obey; and insinuated that if a report was + spread of her proceedings, a charity so prodigal, would excite such alarm, + that no man would think even her large and splendid fortune, would ensure + him from ruin in seeking her alliance. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia heard this exhortation without either terror or impatience, and + answered it with the utmost steadiness. His influence over her mind was no + longer uncontrolled, for though her suspicions were not strengthened, they + had never been removed, and friendship has no foe so dangerous as + distrust! She thanked him, however, for his zeal, but assured him his + apprehensions were groundless, since though she acted from inclination, + she acted not without thought. Her income was very large, and she was + wholly without family or connection; to spend it merely upon herself would + be something still worse than extravagance, it must result from wilfulness + the most inexcusable, as her disposition was naturally averse to luxury + and expence. She might save indeed, but for whom? not a creature had such + a claim upon her; and with regard to herself, she was so provided for it + would be unnecessary. She would never, she declared, run in debt even for + a week, but while her estate was wholly clear, she would spend it without + restriction. + </p> + <p> + To his hint of any future alliance, she only said that those who + disapproved her conduct, would probably be those she should disapprove in + her turn; should such an event however take place, the retrenching from + that time all her present peculiar expences, would surely, in a clear + ú3000 a-year, leave her rich enough for any man, without making it + incumbent upon her at present, to deny herself the only pleasure she could + taste, in bestowing that money which to her was superfluous, upon those + who received it as the prolongation of their existence. + </p> + <p> + A firmness so deliberate in a system he so much dreaded, greatly shocked + Mr Monckton, though it intimidated him from opposing it; he saw she was + too earnest, and too well satisfied she was right, to venture giving her + disgust by controverting her arguments; the conversation, therefore, ended + with new discontent to himself, and with an impression upon the mind of + Cecilia, that though he was zealous and friendly, he was somewhat too + worldly and suspicious. + </p> + <p> + She went on, therefore, as before, distributing with a lavish hand all she + could spare from her own household; careful of nothing but of guarding + against imposition, which, though she sometimes unavoidably endured, her + discernment, and the activity of her investigating diligence, saved her + from suffering frequently. And the steadiness with which she repulsed + those whom she detected in deceit, was a check upon tricks and fraud, + though it could not wholly put a stop to them. + </p> + <p> + Money, to her, had long appeared worthless and valueless; it had failed to + procure her the establishment for which she once flattered herself it + seemed purposely designed; it had been disdained by the Delviles, for the + sake of whose connection she had alone ever truly rejoiced in possessing + it; and after such a conviction of its inefficacy to secure her happiness, + she regarded it as of little importance to herself, and therefore thought + it almost the due of those whose distresses gave it a consequence to which + with her it was a stranger. + </p> + <p> + In this manner with Cecilia passed the first winter of her majority. She + had sedulously filled it with occupations, and her occupations had proved + fertile in keeping her mind from idleness, and in restoring it to + chearfulness. Calls upon her attention so soothing, and avocations so + various for her time, had answered the great purpose for which originally + she had planned them, in almost forcing from her thoughts those sorrows + which, if indulged, would have rested in them incessantly. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER viii. — AN ALARM. + </h2> + <p> + The spring was now advancing, and the weather was remarkably fine; when + one morning, while Cecilia was walking with Mrs Harrel and Henrietta on + the lawn before her house, to which the last dinner bell was just + summoning them, to return, Mrs Harrel looked round and stopt at sight of a + gentleman galloping towards them, who in less than a minute approached, + and dismounting and leaving his horse to his servant, struck them all at + the same instant to be no other than young Delvile! + </p> + <p> + A sight so unexpected, so unaccountable, so wonderful, after an absence so + long, and to which they were mutually bound, almost wholly over-powered + Cecilia from surprise and a thousand other feelings, and she caught Mrs + Harrel by the arm, not knowing what she did, as if for succour; while + Henrietta with scarce less, though much more glad emotion, suddenly + exclaimed, “'tis Mr Delvile!” and sprang forward to meet him. + </p> + <p> + He had reached them, and in a voice that spoke hurry and perturbation, + respectfully made his compliments to them all, before Cecilia recovered + even the use of her feet: but no sooner were they restored to her, than + she employed them with the quickest motion in her power, still leaning + upon Mrs Harrel, to hasten into the house. Her solemn promise to Mrs + Delvile became uppermost in her thoughts, and her surprise was soon + succeeded by displeasure, that thus, without any preparation, he forced + her to break it by an interview she had no means to prevent. + </p> + <p> + Just as they reached the entrance into the house, the Butler came to tell + Cecilia that dinner was upon the table. Delvile then went up to her, and + said, “May I wait upon you for one instant before—or after you + dine?” + </p> + <p> + “I am engaged, Sir,” answered she, though hardly able to speak, “for the + whole day.” + </p> + <p> + “You will not, I hope, refuse to hear me,” cried he, eagerly, “I cannot + write what I have to say,—” + </p> + <p> + “There is no occasion that you should, Sir,” interrupted she, “since I + should scarcely find time to read it.” + </p> + <p> + She then courtsied, though without looking at him, and went into the + house; Delvile remaining in utter dismay, not daring, however wishing, to + follow her. But when Mrs Harrel, much surprised at behaviour so unusual + from Cecilia, approached him with some civil speeches, he started, and + wishing her good day, bowed, and remounted his horse: pursued by the soft + eyes of Henrietta till wholly out of sight. + </p> + <p> + They then both followed Cecilia to the dining-parlour. + </p> + <p> + Had not Mrs Harrel been of this small party, the dinner would have been + served in vain; Cecilia, still trembling with emotion, bewildered with + conjecture, angry with Delvile for thus surprising her, angry with herself + for so severely receiving him, amazed what had tempted him to such a + violation of their joint agreement, and irresolute as much what to wish as + what to think, was little disposed for eating, and with difficulty + compelled herself to do the honours of her table. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta, whom the sight of Delvile had at once delighted and disturbed, + whom the behaviour of Cecilia had filled with wonder and consternation, + and whom the evident inquietude and disappointment which that behaviour + had given to Delvile, had struck with grief and terror, could not swallow + even a morsel, but having cut her meat about her plate, gave it, + untouched, to a servant. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Harrel, however, though she had had her share in the surprise, had + wholly escaped all other emotion; and only concluded in her own mind, that + Cecilia could sometimes be out of humour and ill bred, as well as the rest + of the world. + </p> + <p> + While the dessert was serving, a note was brought to Henrietta, which a + servant was waiting in great haste to have answered. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta, stranger to all forms of politeness, though by nature soft, + obliging and delicate, opened it immediately; she started as she cast her + eye over it, but blushed, sparkled, and looked enchanted, and hastily + rising, without even a thought of any apology, ran out of the room to + answer it. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, whose quick eye, by a glance unavoidable, had seen the hand of + Delvile, was filled with new amazement at the sight. As soon as the + servants were gone, she begged Mrs Harrel to excuse her, and went to her + own apartment. + </p> + <p> + Here, in a few minutes, she was followed by Henrietta, whose countenance + beamed with pleasure, and whose voice spoke tumultuous delight. “My dear, + dear Miss Beverley!” she cried, “I have such a thing to tell you!—you + would never guess it,—I don't know how to believe it myself,—but + Mr Delvile has written to me!—he has indeed! that note was from him.—I + have been locking it up, for fear of accidents, but I'll run and fetch it, + that you may see it yourself.” + </p> + <p> + She then ran away; leaving Cecilia much perplexed, much uneasy for + herself, and both grieved and alarmed for the too tender, too susceptible + Henrietta, who was thus easily the sport of every airy and credulous hope. + </p> + <p> + “If I did not shew it you,” cried Henrietta, running back in a moment, + “you would never think it possible, for it is to make such a request—that + it has frightened me almost out of my wits!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then read the note. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Belfield</i>. + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile presents his compliments to Miss Belfield, and begs to be + permitted to wait upon her for a few minutes, at any time in the afternoon + she will be so good as to appoint. + </p> + <p> + “Only think,” cried the rapturous Henrietta, “it was <i>me</i>, poor + simple <i>me</i>, of all people, that he wanted so to speak with!—I + am sure I thought a different thought when he went away! but do, dearest + Miss Beverley, tell me this one thing, what do you think he can have to + say to me?” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed,” replied Cecilia, extremely embarrassed, “it is impossible for me + to conjecture.” + </p> + <p> + “If <i>you</i> can't, I am sure, then, it is no wonder <i>I</i> can't! and + I have been thinking of a million of things in a minute. It can't be about + any business, because I know nothing in the world of any business; and it + can't be about my brother, because he would go to our house in town about + him, and there he would see him himself; and it can't be about my dear + Miss Beverley, because then he would have written the note to her and it + can't be about any body else, because I know nobody else of his + acquaintance.” + </p> + <p> + Thus went on the sanguine Henrietta, settling whom and what it could <i>not</i> + be about, till she left but the one thing to which her wishes pointed that + it <i>could</i> be about. Cecilia heard her with true compassion, certain + that she was deceiving herself with imaginations the most pernicious; yet + unable to know how to quell them, while in such doubt and darkness + herself. + </p> + <p> + This conversation was soon interrupted, by a message that a gentleman in + the parlour begged to speak with Miss Belfield. + </p> + <p> + “O dearest, dearest Miss Beverley!” cried Henrietta, with encreasing + agitation, “what in the world shall I say to him, advise me, pray advise + me, for I can't think of a single word!” + </p> + <p> + “Impossible, my dear Henrietta, unless I knew what he would say to you!” + </p> + <p> + “O but I can guess, I can guess!”—cried she, her cheeks glowing, + while her whole frame shook, “and I sha'n't know what in the whole world + to answer him! I know I shall behave like a fool,—I know I shall + disgrace myself sadly!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, truly sorry Delvile should see her in such emotion, endeavoured + earnestly to compose her, though never less tranquil herself. But she + could not succeed, and she went down stairs with expectations of happiness + almost too potent for her reason. + </p> + <p> + Not such were those of Cecilia; a dread of some new conflict took + possession of her mind, that mind so long tortured with struggles, so + lately restored to serenity! + </p> + <p> + Henrietta soon returned, but not the same Henrietta she went;—the + glow, the hope, the flutter were all over; she looked pale and wan, but + attempting, as she entered the room, to call up a smile, she failed, and + burst into tears. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia threw her arms round her neck, and tried to console her; but, + happy to hide her face in her bosom, she only gave the freer indulgence to + her grief, and rather melted than comforted by her tenderness, sobbed + aloud. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia too easily conjectured the disappointment she had met, to pain her + by asking it; she forbore even to gratify her own curiosity by questions + that could not but lead to her mortification, and suffering her therefore + to take her own time for what she had to communicate, she hung over her in + silence with the most patient pity. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta was very sensible of this kindness, though she knew not half its + merit: but it was a long time before she could articulate, for sobbing, + that <i>all</i> Mr Delvile wanted, at last, was only to beg she would + acquaint Miss Beverley, that he had done himself the honour of waiting + upon her with a message from Mrs Delvile. + </p> + <p> + “From Mrs Delvile?” exclaimed Cecilia, all emotion in her turn, “good + heaven! how much, then, have I been to blame? where is he now?—where + can I send to him?—tell me, my sweet Henrietta, this instant!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh madam!” cried Henrietta, bursting into a fresh flood of tears, “how + foolish have I been to open my silly heart to you!—he is come to pay + his addresses to you!—I am sure he is!—” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, no!” cried Cecilia, “indeed he is not!—but I must, I ought + to see him,—where, my love, is he?”, + </p> + <p> + “In the parlour,—waiting for an answer.—” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who at any other time would have been provoked at such a delay in + the delivery of a message so important, felt now nothing but concern for + Henrietta, whom she hastily kissed, but instantly, however, quitted, and + hurried to Delvile, with expectations almost equally sanguine as those her + poor friend but the moment before had crushed. + </p> + <p> + “Oh now,” thought she, “if at last Mrs Delvile herself has relented, with + what joy will I give up all reserve, all disguise, and frankly avow the + faithful affection of my heart!” + </p> + <p> + Delvile received her not with the eagerness with which he had first + addressed her; he looked extremely disturbed, and, even after her + entrance, undetermined how to begin. + </p> + <p> + She waited, however, his explanation in silence; and, after an irresolute + pause, he said, with a gravity not wholly free from resentment, “I + presumed, madam, to wait upon you from the permission of my mother; but I + believe I have obtained it so late, that the influence I hoped from it is + past!” + </p> + <p> + “I had no means, Sir,” answered she, chearfully, “to know that you came + from her: I should else have received her commands without any + hesitation.” + </p> + <p> + “I would thank you for the honour you do her, were it less pointedly + exclusive. I have, however, no right of reproach! yet suffer me to ask, + could you, madam, after such a parting, after a renunciation so absolute + of all future claim upon you, which though extorted from me by duty, I was + bound, having promised, to fulfil by principle,-could you imagine me so + unsteady, so dishonourable, as to obtrude myself into your presence while + that promise was still in force?” + </p> + <p> + “I find,” cried Cecilia, in whom a secret hope every moment grew stronger, + “I have been too hasty; I did indeed believe Mrs Delvile would never + authorise such a visit; but as you have so much surprised me, I have a + right to your pardon for a little doubt.” + </p> + <p> + “There spoke Miss Beverley!” cried Delvile, reanimating at this little + apology, “the same, the unaltered Miss Beverley I hoped to find!—yet + <i>is</i> she unaltered? am I not too precipitate? and is the tale I have + heard about Belfield a dream? an error? a falsehood?” + </p> + <p> + “But that so quick a succession of quarrels,” said Cecilia, half smiling, + “would be endless perplexity, I, now, would be affronted that you can ask + me such a question.” + </p> + <p> + “Had I, indeed, <i>thought</i> it a question,” cried he, “I would not have + asked it: but never for a moment did I credit it, till the rigour of your + repulse alarmed me. You have condescended, now, to account for that, and I + am therefore encouraged to make known to you the purpose of my venturing + this visit. Yet not with confidence shall I speak if, scarce even with + hope!—it is a purpose that is the offspring of despair,— + </p> + <p> + “One thing, Sir,” cried Cecilia, who now became frightened again, “let me + say before you proceed; if your purpose has not the sanction of Mrs + Delvile, as well as your visit, I would gladly be excused hearing it, + since I shall most certainly refuse it.” + </p> + <p> + “I would mention nothing,” answered he, “without her concurrence; she has + given it me: and my father himself has permitted my present application.” + </p> + <p> + “Good Heaven!” cried Cecilia, “is it possible!” clasping her hands + together in the eagerness of her surprise and delight. + </p> + <p> + “<i>Is it possible</i>!” repeated Delvile, with a look of rapture; “ah + Miss Beverley!—once my own Cecilia!—do you, can you <i>wish</i> + it possible?” + </p> + <p> + “No, No!” cried she, while pleasure and expectation sparkled in her eyes, + “I wish nothing about it.—Yet tell me how it has happened,—I + am <i>curious</i>,” added she, smiling, “though not interested in it.” + </p> + <p> + “What hope would this sweetness give me,” cried he, “were my scheme almost + any other than it is!—but you cannot,—no, it would be + unreasonable, it would be madness to expect your compliance!—it is + next to madness even in me to wish it,—but how shall a man who is + desperate be prudent and circumspect?” + </p> + <p> + “Spare, spare yourself,” cried the ingenuous Cecilia, “this, unnecessary + pain!—you will find from me no unnecessary scruples.” + </p> + <p> + “You know not what you say!—all noble as you are, the sacrifice I + have to propose—” + </p> + <p> + “Speak it,” cried she, “with confidence! speak it even with certainty of + success! I will be wholly undisguised, and openly, honestly own to you, + that no proposal, no sacrifice can be mentioned, to which I will not + instantly agree, if first it has had the approbation of Mrs Delvile.” + </p> + <p> + Delvile's gratitude and thanks for a concession never before so + voluntarily made to him, interrupted for a while, even his power of + explaining himself. And now, for the first time, Cecilia's sincerity was + chearful, since now, for the first time, it seemed opposed by no duty. + </p> + <p> + When still, therefore, he hesitated, she herself held out her hand to him, + saying, “what must I do more? must I offer this pledge to you?” + </p> + <p> + “For my life would I not resign it!” cried he, delightedly receiving it; + “but oh, how soon will you withdraw it, when the only terms upon which I + can hold it, are those of making it sign from itself its natural right and + inheritance?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, not comprehending him, only looked amazed, and he proceeded. + </p> + <p> + “Can you, for my sake, make such a sacrifice as this? can you for a man + who for yours is not permitted to give up his name, give up yourself the + fortune of your late uncle? consent to such settlements as I can make upon + you from my own? part with so splendid an income wholly and for-ever?—and + with only your paternal L10,000 condescend to become mine, as if your + uncle had never existed, and you had been Heiress to no other wealth?” + </p> + <p> + This, indeed, was a stroke to Cecilia unequalled by any she had met, and + more cruel than any she could have in reserve. At the proposal of parting + with her uncle's fortune, which, desirable as it was, had as yet been only + productive to her of misery, her heart, disinterested, and wholly careless + of money, was prompt to accede to the condition; but at the mention of her + paternal fortune, that fortune, of which, now, not the smallest vestige + remained, horror seized all her faculties! she turned pale, she trembled, + she involuntarily drew back her hand, and betrayed, by speechless + agitation, the sudden agonies of her soul! + </p> + <p> + Delvile, struck by this evident dismay, instantly concluded his plan had + disgusted her. He waited some minutes in anxious expectation of an answer, + but finding her silence continued while her emotion encreased, the deepest + crimson dyed his face, and unable to check his chagrin, though not daring + to confess his disappointment, he suddenly quitted her, and walked, in + much disorder, about the room. But soon recovering some composure, from + the assistance of pride, “Pardon, madam,” he said, “a trial such as no man + can be vindicated in making. I have indulged a romantic whim, which your + better judgment disapproves, and I receive but the mortification my + presumption deserved.” + </p> + <p> + “You know not then,” said Cecilia, in a faint voice, “my inability to + comply?” + </p> + <p> + “Your ability or inability, I presume, are elective?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh no!—my power is lost—my fortune itself is gone!” + </p> + <p> + “Impossible! utterly impossible!” cried he with vehemence. + </p> + <p> + “Oh that it were!—your father knows it but too well.” + </p> + <p> + “My father!” + </p> + <p> + “Did he, then, never hint it to you?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh distraction!” cried Delvile, “what horrible confirmation is coming!” + and again he walked away, as if wanting courage to hear her. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia was too much shocked to force upon him her explanation; but + presently returning to her, he said, “<i>you</i>, only, could have made + this credible!” + </p> + <p> + “Had you, then, actually heard it?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh I had heard it as the most infamous of falsehoods! my heart swelled + with indignation at so villainous a calumny, and had it not come from my + father, my resentment at it had been inveterate!” + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” cried Cecilia, “the fact is undeniable! yet the circumstances you + may have heard with it, are I doubt not exaggerated.” + </p> + <p> + “Exaggerated indeed!” he answered; “I was told you had been surprised + concealed with Belfield in a back room, I was told that your parental + fortune was totally exhausted, and that during your minority you had been + a dealer with Jews!—I was told all this by my father; you may + believe I had else not easily been made hear it!” + </p> + <p> + “Yet thus far,” said she, “he told you but what is true; though—” + </p> + <p> + “True!” interrupted Delvile, with a start almost frantic. “Oh never, then, + was truth so scandalously wronged!—I denied the whole charge!-I + disbelieved every syllable!—I pledged my own honour to prove every + assertion false!” + </p> + <p> + “Generous Delvile!” cried Cecilia, melting into tears, “this is what I + expected from you! and, believe me, in <i>your</i> integrity my reliance + had been similar!” + </p> + <p> + “Why does Miss Beverley weep?” cried he, softened, and approaching her, + “and why has she given me this alarm? these things must at least have been + misrepresented, deign, then, to clear up a mystery in which suspense is + torture!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, then, with what precision and clearness her agitation allowed + her, related the whole history of her taking up the money of the Jew for + Mr Harrel, and told, without reserve, the reason of her trying to abscond + from his father at Mrs Belfield's. Delvile listened to her account with + almost an agony of attention, now admiring her conduct; now resenting her + ill usage; now compassionating her losses; but though variously moved by + different parts, receiving from the whole the delight he most coveted in + the establishment of her innocence. + </p> + <p> + Thanks and applause the warmest, both accompanied and followed her + narration; and then, at her request, he related in return the several + incidents and circumstances to which he had owed the permission of this + visit. + </p> + <p> + He had meant immediately to have gone abroad; but the indisposition of his + mother made him unwilling to leave the kingdom till her health seemed in a + situation less precarious. That time, however, came not; the Winter + advanced, and she grew evidently worse. He gave over, therefore, his + design till the next Spring, when, if she were able, it was her desire to + try the South of France for her recovery, whither he meant to conduct her. + </p> + <p> + But, during his attendance upon her, the plan he had just mentioned + occurred to him, and he considered how much greater would be his chance of + happiness in marrying Cecilia with scarce any fortune at all, than in + marrying another with the largest. He was convinced she was far other than + expensive, or a lover of shew, and soon flattered himself she might be + prevailed upon to concur with him, that in living together, though + comparatively upon little, they should mutually be happier than in living + asunder upon much. + </p> + <p> + When he started this scheme to his mother, she heard it with mingled + admiration of his disinterestedness, and regret at its occasion: yet the + loftiness of her own mind, her high personal value for Cecilia, her + anxiety to see her son finally settled while she lived, lest his + disappointment should keep him single from a lasting disgust, joined to a + dejection of spirits from an apprehension that her interference had been + cruel, all favoured his scheme, and forbid her resistance. She had often + protested, in their former conflicts, that had Cecilia been portionless, + her objections had been less than to an estate so conditioned; and that to + give to her son a woman so exalted in herself, she would have conquered + the mere opposition of interest, though that of family honour she held + invincible. Delvile now called upon her to remember those words, and ever + strict in fidelity, she still promised to abide by them. + </p> + <p> + Ah! thought Cecilia, is virtue, then, as inconsistent as vice? and can the + same character be thus high-souled, thus nobly disinterested with regard + to riches, whose pride is so narrow and so insurmountable, with respect to + family prejudice! + </p> + <p> + Yet such a sacrifice from Cecilia herself, whose income intitled her to + settlements the most splendid, Mrs Delvile thought scarcely to be + solicited; but as her son was conscious he gave up in expectation no less + than she would give up in possession, he resolved upon making the + experiment, and felt an internal assurance of success. + </p> + <p> + This matter being finally settled with his mother, the harder task + remained of vanquishing the father, by whom, and before whom the name of + Cecilia was never mentioned, not even after his return from town, though + loaded with imaginary charges against her. Mr Delvile held it a diminution + of his own in the honour of his son, to suppose he wanted still fresh + motives for resigning her. He kept, therefore, to himself the ill opinion + he brought down, as a resource in case of danger, but a resource he + disdained to make use of, unless driven to it by absolute necessity. + </p> + <p> + But, at the new proposal of his son, the accusation held in reserve broke + out; he called Cecilia a dabler with Jews, and said she had been so from + the time of her uncle's death; he charged her with the grossest general + extravagance, to which he added a most insidious attack upon her + character, drawn from her visits at Belfield's of long standing, as well + as the particular time when he had himself surprised her concealed with + the young man in a back parlour: and he asserted, that most of the large + sums she was continually taking up from her fortune, were lavished without + scruple upon this dangerous and improper favourite. + </p> + <p> + Delvile had heard this accusation with a rage scarce restrained from + violence; confident in her innocence, he boldly pronounced the whole a + forgery, and demanded the author of such cruel defamation. Mr Delvile, + much offended, refused to name any authority, but consented, with an air + of triumph, to abide by the effect of his own proposal, and gave him a + supercilious promise no longer to oppose the marriage, if the terms he + meant to offer to Miss Beverley, of renouncing her uncle's estate, and + producing her father's fortune, were accepted. + </p> + <p> + “O little did I credit,” said Delvile in conclusion, “that he knew indeed + so well this last condition was impracticable! his assertions were without + proof; I thought them prejudiced surmises; and I came in the full hope I + should convict him of his error. My mother, too, who warmly and even + angrily defended you, was as firmly satisfied as myself that the whole was + a mistake, and that enquiry would prove your fortune as undiminished as + your purity. How will she be shocked at the tale I have now to unfold! how + irritated at your injuries from Harrel! how grieved that your own too + great benevolence should be productive of such black aspersions upon your + character!” + </p> + <p> + “I have been,” cried Cecilia, “too facile and too unguarded; yet always, + at the moment, I seemed but guided by common humanity. I have ever thought + myself secure of more wealth than I could require, and regarded the want + of money as an evil from which I was unavoidably exempted. My own fortune, + therefore, appeared to me of small consequence, while the revenue of my + uncle insured me perpetual prosperity.—Oh had I foreseen this moment—” + </p> + <p> + “Would you, then, have listened to my romantic proposal?” + </p> + <p> + “Would I have listened?—do you not see too plainly I could not have + hesitated!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh yet, then, most generous of human beings, yet then be mine! By our own + oeconomy we will pay off our mortgages; by living a while abroad, we will + clear all our estates; I will still keep the name to which my family is + bigotted, and my gratitude for your compliance shall make you forget what + you lose by it!” + </p> + <p> + “Speak not to me such words!” cried Cecilia, hastily rising; “your friends + will not listen to them, neither, therefore, must I.” + </p> + <p> + “My friends,” cried he with energy, “are henceforth out of the question: + my father's concurrence with a proposal he <i>knew</i> you had not power + to grant, was in fact a mere permission to insult you; for if, instead of + dark charges, he had given any authority for your losses, I had myself + spared you the shock you have so undeservedly received from hearing it.—But + to consent to a plan which <i>could</i> not be accepted!—to make me + a tool to offer indignity to Miss Beverley!—He has released me from + his power by so erroneous an exertion of it, and my own honour has a claim + to which his commands must give place. That honour binds me to Miss + Beverley as forcibly as my admiration, and no voice but her own shall + determine my future destiny.” + </p> + <p> + “That voice, then,” said Cecilia, “again refers you to your mother. Mr + Delvile, indeed, has not treated me kindly; and this last mock concession + was unnecessary cruelty; but Mrs Delvile merits my utmost respect, and I + will listen to nothing which has not her previous sanction.” + </p> + <p> + “But will her sanction be sufficient? and may I hope, in obtaining it, the + security of yours?” + </p> + <p> + “When I have said I will hear nothing without it, may you not almost infer—I + will refuse nothing with it!” + </p> + <p> + The acknowledgments he would now have poured forth, Cecilia would not + hear, telling him, with some gaiety, they were yet unauthorized by Mrs + Delvile. She insisted upon his leaving her immediately, and never again + returning, without his mother's express approbation. With regard to his + father, she left him totally to his own inclination; she had received from + him nothing but pride and incivility, and determined to skew publicly her + superior respect for Mrs Delvile, by whose discretion and decision she was + content to abide. + </p> + <p> + “Will you not, then, from time to time,” cried Delvile, “suffer me to + consult with you?” + </p> + <p> + “No, no,” answered she, “do not ask it! I have never been insincere with + you, never but from motives not to be overcome, reserved even for a + moment; I have told you I will put every thing into the power of Mrs + Delvile, but I will not a second time risk my peace by any action unknown + to her.” + </p> + <p> + Delvile gratefully acknowledged her goodness, and promised to require + nothing more. He then obeyed her by taking leave, eager himself to put an + end to this new uncertainty, and supplicating only that her good wishes + might follow his enterprise. + </p> + <p> + And thus, again, was wholly broken the tranquility of Cecilia; new hopes, + however faint, awakened all her affections, and strong fears, but too + reasonable, interrupted her repose. Her destiny, once more, was as + undecided as ever, and the expectations she had crushed, retook possession + of her heart. + </p> + <p> + The suspicions she had conceived of Mr Monckton again occurred to her; + though unable to ascertain and unwilling to believe them, she tried to + drive them from her thoughts. She lamented, however, with bitterness, her + unfortunate connexion with Mr Harrel, whose unworthy impositions upon her + kindness of temper and generosity, now proved to her an evil far more + serious and extensive, than in the midst of her repugnance to them she had + ever apprehended. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER ix. — A SUSPENSE. + </h2> + <p> + Delvile had been gone but a short time, before Henrietta, her eyes still + red, though no longer streaming, opened the parlour door, and asked if she + might come in? + </p> + <p> + Cecilia wished to be alone, yet could not refuse her. + </p> + <p> + “Well, madam,” cried she, with a forced smile, and constrained air of + bravery, “did not I guess right?” + </p> + <p> + “In what?” said Cecilia, unwilling to understand her. + </p> + <p> + “In what I said would happen?—I am sure you know what I mean.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, extremely embarrassed, made no answer; she much regretted the + circumstances which had prevented an earlier communication, and was + uncertain whether, now, it would prove most kind or most cruel to acquaint + her with what was in agitation, which, should it terminate in nothing, was + unnecessarily wounding her delicacy for the openness of her confidence, + and which, however serviceable it might prove to her in the end, was in + the means so rough and piercing she felt the utmost repugnance to the + experiment. + </p> + <p> + “You think me, madam, too free,” said Henrietta, “in asking such a + question; and indeed your kindness has been so great, it may well make me + forget myself: but if it does, I am sure I deserve you should send me home + directly, and then there is not much fear I shall soon be brought to my + senses!” + </p> + <p> + “No, my dear Henrietta, I can never think you too free; I have told you + already every thing I thought you would have pleasure in hearing; whatever + I have concealed, I have been fearful would only pain you.” + </p> + <p> + “I have <i>deserved</i>, madam,” said she, with spirit, “to be pained, for + I have behaved with the folly of a baby. I am very angry with myself + indeed! I was old enough to have known better,—and I ought to have + been wise enough.” + </p> + <p> + “You must then be angry with yourself, next,” said Cecilia, anxious to + re-encourage her, “for all the love that I bear you; since to your + openness and frankness it was entirely owing.” + </p> + <p> + “But there are some things that people should <i>not</i> be frank in; + however, I am only come now to beg you will tell me, madam, when it is to + be;—and don't think I ask out of nothing but curiosity, for I have a + very great reason for it indeed.” + </p> + <p> + “What be, my dear Henrietta?—you are very rapid in your ideas!” + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you, madam, what my reason is; I shall go away to my own + home,—and so I would if it were ten times a worse home than it is!—just + exactly the day before. Because afterwards I shall never like to look that + gentleman in the face,—never, never!—for married ladies I know + are not to be trusted!” + </p> + <p> + “Be not apprehensive; you have no occasion. Whatever may be my fate, I + will never be so treacherous as to betray my beloved Henrietta to <i>any</i> + body.” + </p> + <p> + “May I ask you, madam, one question?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly.” + </p> + <p> + “Why did all this never happen before?” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed,” cried Cecilia, much distressed, “I know not that it will happen + now.” + </p> + <p> + “Why what, dear madam, can hinder it?” + </p> + <p> + “A thousand, thousand things! nothing can be less secure.” + </p> + <p> + “And then I am still as much puzzled as ever. I heard, a good while ago, + and we all heard that it was to be; and I thought that it was no wonder, I + am sure, for I used often to think it was just what was most likely; but + afterwards we heard it was no such thing, and from that moment I always + believed there had been nothing at all in it.” + </p> + <p> + “I must speak to you, I find, with sincerity; my affairs have long been in + strange perplexity: I have not known myself what to expect; one day has + perpetually reversed the prospect of another, and my mind has been in a + state of uncertainty and disorder, that has kept it—that still keeps + it from comfort and from rest!” + </p> + <p> + “This surprises me indeed, madam! I thought <i>you</i> were all happiness! + but I was sure you deserved it, and I thought you had it for that reward. + And this has been the thing that has made me behave so wrong; for I took + it into my head I might tell you every thing, because I concluded it could + be nothing to you; for if great people loved one another, I always + supposed they married directly; poor people, indeed, must stay till they + are able to settle; but what in the whole world, thought I, if they like + one another, should hinder such a rich lady as Miss Beverley from marrying + such a rich gentleman at once?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia now, finding there was no longer any chance for concealment, + thought it better to give the poor Henrietta at least the gratification of + unreserved confidence, which might somewhat sooth her uneasiness by + proving her reliance in her faith. She frankly, therefore, confessed to + her the whole of her situation. Henrietta wept at the recital with + bitterness, thought Mr Delvile a monster, and Mrs Delvile herself scarce + human; pitied Cecilia with unaffected tenderness, and wondered that the + person could exist who had the heart to give grief to young Delvile! She + thanked her most gratefully for reposing such trust in her; and Cecilia + made use of this opportunity, to enforce the necessity of her struggling + more seriously to recover her indifferency. + </p> + <p> + She promised she would not fail; and forbore steadily from that time to + name Delvile any more: but the depression of her spirits shewed she had + suffered a disappointment such as astonished even Cecilia. Though modest + and humble, she had conceived hopes the most romantic, and though she + denied, even to herself, any expectations from Delvile, she involuntarily + nourished them with the most sanguine simplicity. To compose and to + strengthen her became the whole business of Cecilia; who, during her + present suspense, could find no other employment in which she could take + any interest. + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton, to whom nothing was unknown that related to Cecilia, was soon + informed of Delvile's visit, and hastened in the utmost alarm, to learn + its event. She had now lost all the pleasure she had formerly derived from + confiding in him, but though averse and confused, could not withstand his + enquiries. + </p> + <p> + Unlike the tender Henrietta's was his disappointment at this relation, and + his rage at such repeated trials was almost more than he could curb. He + spared neither the Delviles for their insolence of mutability in rejecting + or seeking her at their pleasure, nor herself for her easiness of + submission in being thus the dupe of their caprices. The subject was + difficult for Cecilia to dilate upon; she wished to clear, as he deserved, + Delvile himself from any share in the censure, and she felt hurt and + offended at the charge of her own improper readiness; yet shame and pride + united in preventing much vindication of either, and she heard almost in + silence what with pain she bore to hear at all. + </p> + <p> + He now saw, with inexpressible disturbance, that whatever was his power to + make her uneasy, he had none to make her retract, and that the conditional + promise she had given Delvile to be wholly governed by his mother, she was + firm in regarding to be as sacred as one made at the altar. + </p> + <p> + Perceiving this, he dared trust his temper with no further debate; he + assumed a momentary calmness for the purpose of taking leave of her, and + with pretended good wishes for her happiness, whatever might be her + determination, he stifled the reproaches with which his whole heart was + swelling, and precipitately left her. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, affected by his earnestness, yet perplexed in all her opinions, + was glad to be relieved from useless exhortations, and not sorry, in her + present uncertainty, that his visit was not repeated. + </p> + <p> + She neither saw nor heard from Delvile for a week, and augured nothing but + evil from such delay. The following letter then came by the post. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Beverley. April 2d</i>, 1780 + </p> + <p> + I must write without comments, for I dare not trust myself with making + any; I must write without any beginning address, for I know not how you + will permit me to address you. + </p> + <p> + I have lived a life of tumult since last compelled to leave you, and when + it may subside, I am still in utter ignorance. + </p> + <p> + The affecting account of the losses you have suffered through your + beneficence to the Harrels, and the explanatory one of the calumnies you + have sustained from your kindness to the Belfields, I related with the + plainness which alone I thought necessary to make them felt. I then told + the high honour I had received, in meeting with no other repulse to my + proposal, than was owing to an inability to accede to it; and informed my + mother of the condescending powers with which you had invested her. In + conclusion I mentioned my new scheme, and firmly, before I would listen to + any opposition, I declared that though wholly to their decision I left the + relinquishing my own name or your fortune, I was not only by your + generosity more internally yours than ever, but that since again I had + ventured, and with permission to apply to you, I should hold myself hence + forward unalterably engaged to you. + </p> + <p> + And so I do, and so I shall! nor, after a renewal so public, will any + prohibition but yours have force to keep me from throwing myself at your + feet. + </p> + <p> + My father's answer I will not mention; I would I could forget it! his + prejudices are irremediable, his resolutions are inflexible. Who or what + has worked him into an animosity so irreclaimable, I cannot conjecture, + nor will he tell; but something darkly mysterious has part in his wrath + and his injustice. + </p> + <p> + My mother was much affected by your reference to herself. Words of the + sweetest praise broke repeatedly from her; no other such woman, she said, + existed; no other such instance could be found of fidelity so exalted! her + son must have no heart but for low and mercenary selfishness, if, after a + proof of regard so unexampled, he could bear to live without her! Oh how + did such a sentence from lips so highly reverenced, animate, delight, + confirm, and oblige me at once! + </p> + <p> + The displeasure of my father at this declaration was dreadful; his + charges, always as improbable as injurious, now became too horrible for my + ears; he disbelieved you had taken up the money for Harrel, he discredited + that you visited the Belfields for Henrietta: passion not merely banished + his justice, but, clouded his reason, and I soon left the room, that at + least I might not hear the aspersions he forbid me to answer. + </p> + <p> + I left not, however, your fame to a weak champion: my mother defended it + with all the spirit of truth, and all the confidence of similar virtue! + yet they parted without conviction, and so mutually irritated with each + other, that they agreed to meet no more. + </p> + <p> + This was too terrible! and I instantly consolidated my resentment to my + father, and my gratitude to my mother, into concessions and supplications + to both; I could not, however, succeed; my mother was deeply offended, my + father was sternly inexorable: nor here rests the evil of their + dissention, for the violence of the conflict has occasioned a return more + alarming than ever of the illness of my mother. + </p> + <p> + All her faith in her recovery is now built upon going abroad; she is + earnest to set off immediately; but Dr Lyster has advised her to make + London in her way, and have a consultation of physicians before she + departs. + </p> + <p> + To this she has agreed; and we are now upon the road thither. + </p> + <p> + Such is, at present, the melancholy state of my affairs. My mother <i>advised</i> + me to write; forgive me, therefore, that I waited not something more + decisive to say. I could prevail upon neither party to meet before the + journey; nor could I draw from my father the base fabricator of the + calumnies by which he has been thus abused. + </p> + <p> + Unhappily, I have nothing more to add: and whether intelligence, such as + this, or total suspense, would be least irksome, I know not. If my mother + bears her journey tolerably well, I have yet one more effort to make; and + of that the success or the failure will be instantly communicated to Miss + Beverley, by her eternally devoted, but half distracted. + </p> + <p> + Mortimer Delvile. + </p> + <p> + Scarcely could Cecilia herself decide whether this comfortless letter or + none at all were preferable. The implacability of Mr Delvile was shocking, + but his slandering her character was still more intolerable; yet the + praises of the mother, and her generous vindication, joined to the + invariable reliance of Delvile upon her innocence, conferred upon her an + honour that offered some alleviation. + </p> + <p> + The mention of a fabricator again brought Mr Monckton to her mind, and not + all her unwillingness to think him capable of such treachery, could now + root out her suspicions. Delvile's temper, however, she knew was too + impetuous to be trusted with this conjecture, and her fear of committing + injustice being thus seconded by prudence, she determined to keep to + herself doubts that could not without danger be divulged. + </p> + <p> + She communicated briefly to Henrietta, who looked her earnest curiosity, + the continuance of her suspense; and to her own fate Henrietta became + somewhat more reconciled, when she saw that no station in life rendered + happiness certain or permanent. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0019" id="link2HCH0019"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER x. — A RELATION. + </h2> + <p> + Another week past still without any further intelligence. Cecilia was then + summoned to the parlour, and to Delvile himself. + </p> + <p> + He looked hurried and anxious; yet the glow of his face, and the animation + of his eyes, immediately declared he at least came not to take leave of + her. + </p> + <p> + “Can you forgive,” cried he, “the dismal and unsatisfactory letter I wrote + you? I would not disobey you twice in the same manner, and I could not + till now have written in any other.” + </p> + <p> + “The consultation with the physicians, then,” said Cecilia, “is over?” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, yes; and the result is most alarming; they all agree my mother is + in a dangerous way, and they rather forbear to oppose, than advise her + going abroad: but upon that she is earnestly bent, and intends to set out + without delay. I shall return to her, therefore, with all speed, and mean + not to take any rest till I have seen her.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia expressed with tenderness her sorrow for Mrs Delvile: nor were her + looks illiberal in including her son in her concern. + </p> + <p> + “I must hasten,” he cried, “to the credentials by which I am authorised + for coming, and I must hasten to prove if Miss Beverley has not flattered + my mother in her appeal.” + </p> + <p> + He then informed her that Mrs Delvile, apprehensive for herself, and + softened for him by the confession of her danger, which she had extorted + from her physicians, had tenderly resolved upon making one final effort + for his happiness, and ill and impatient as she was, upon deferring her + journey to wait its effect. + </p> + <p> + Generously, therefore, giving up her own resentment, she wrote to Mr + Delvile in terms of peace and kindness, lamenting their late dissention, + and ardently expressing her desire to be reconciled to him before she left + England. She told him the uncertainty of her recovery which had been + acknowledged by her physicians, who had declared a calmer mind was more + essential to her than a purer air. She then added, that such serenity was + only to be given her, by the removal of her anxiety at the comfortless + state of her son. She begged him, therefore, to make known the author of + Miss Beverley's defamation, assuring him, that upon enquiry, he would find + her character and her fame as unsullied as his own; and strongly + representing, that after the sacrifice to which she had consented, their + son would be utterly dishonourable in thinking of any other connexion. She + then to this reasoning joined the most earnest supplication, protesting, + in her present disordered state, of health, her life might pay the + forfeiture of her continual uneasiness. + </p> + <p> + “I held out,” she concluded, “while his personal dignity, and the honour + of his name and family were endangered; but where interest alone is + concerned, and that interest is combated by the peace of his mind, and the + delicacy of his word, my opposition is at an end. And though our extensive + and well founded views for a splendid alliance are abolished, you will + agree with me hereafter, upon a closer inspection, that the object for + whom he relinquishes them, offers in herself the noblest reparation.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia felt gratified, humbled, animated and depressed at once by this + letter, of which Delvile brought her a copy. “And what,” cried she, “was + the answer?” + </p> + <p> + “I cannot in decency,” he replied, “speak my opinion of it: read it + yourself,—and let me hear yours.” + </p> + <p> + <i>To the Honourable Mrs Delvile</i>. + </p> + <p> + Your extraordinary letter, madam, has extremely surprised me. I had been + willing to hope the affair over from the time my disapprobation of it was + formally announced. I am sorry you are so much indisposed, but I cannot + conclude your health would be restored by my acceding to a plan so + derogatory to my house. I disapprove it upon every account, not only of + the name and the fortune, but the lady herself. I have reasons more + important than those I assign, but they are such as I am bound in honour + not to mention. After such a declaration, nobody, I presume, will affront + me by asking them. Her defence you have only from herself, her accusation + I have received from authority less partial. I command, therefore, that my + son, upon pain of my eternal displeasure, may never speak to me on the + subject again, and I hope, madam, from you the same complaisance to my + request. I cannot explain myself further, nor is it necessary; it is no + news, I flatter myself, to Mortimer Delvile or his mother, that I do + nothing without reason, and I believe nothing upon slight grounds. + </p> + <p> + A few cold compliments concerning her journey, and the re-establishment of + her health, concluded the letter. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, having read, hastily returned it, and indignantly said, “My + opinion, Sir, upon this letter, must surely be yours; that we had done + wiser, long since, to have spared your mother and ourselves, those vain + and fruitless conflicts which we ought better to have foreseen were liable + to such a conclusion. Now, at least, let them be ended, and let us not + pursue disgrace wilfully, after suffering from it with so much rigour + involuntarily.” + </p> + <p> + “O no,” cried Delvile, “rather let us now spurn it for ever! those + conflicts must indeed be ended, but not by a separation still more bitter + than all of them.” + </p> + <p> + He then told her, that his mother, highly offended to observe by the + extreme coldness of this letter, the rancour he still nourished for the + contest preceding her leaving him, no longer now refused even her separate + consent, for a measure which she thought her son absolutely engaged to + take. + </p> + <p> + “Good heaven!” cried Cecilia, much amazed, “this from Mrs Delvile!—a + separate consent?”— + </p> + <p> + “She has always maintained,” he answered, “an independent mind, always + judged for herself, and refused all other arbitration: when so impetuously + she parted us, my father's will happened to be her's, and thence their + concurrence: my father, of a temper immoveable and stern, retains + stubbornly the prejudices which once have taken possession of him; my + mother, generous as fiery, and noble as proud, is open to conviction, and + no sooner convinced, than ingenuous in acknowledging it: and thence their + dissention. From my father I may hope forgiveness, but must never expect + concession; from my mother I may hope all she ought to grant, for pardon + but her vehemence,—and she has every great quality that can dignify + human nature!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, whose affection and reverence for Mrs Delvile were unfeigned, and + who loved in her son this filial enthusiasm, readily concurred with him in + praising her, and sincerely esteemed her the first among women. + </p> + <p> + “Now, then,” cried he, with earnestness, “now is the time when your + generous admiration of her is put to the test; see what she writes to you;—she + has left to me all explanation: but I insisted upon some credential, lest + you should believe I only owed her concurrence to a happy dream.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia in much trepidation took the letter, and hastily run it over. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Beverley</i>. + </p> + <p> + Misery, my sweet young friend, has long been busy with us all; much have + we owed to the clash of different interests, much to that rapacity which + to enjoy any thing, demands every thing, and much to that general + perverseness which labours to place happiness in what is with-held. Thus + do we struggle on till we can struggle no longer; the felicity with which + we trifle, at best is but temporary; and before reason and reflection shew + its value, sickness and sorrow are commonly become stationary. + </p> + <p> + Be it yours, my love, and my son's, to profit by the experience, while you + pity the errors, of the many who illustrate this truth. Your mutual + partiality has been mutually unfortunate, and must always continue so for + the interests of both: but how blind is it to wait, in our own peculiar + lots, for that perfection of enjoyment we can all see wanting in the lot + of others! My expectations for my son had “outstepped the modesty of” + probability. I looked for rank and high birth, with the fortune of + Cecilia, and Cecilia's rare character. Alas! a new constellation in the + heavens might as rationally have been looked for! + </p> + <p> + My extravagance, however, has been all for his felicity, dearer to me than + life,—dearer to me than all things but his own honour! Let us but + save that, and then let wealth, ambition, interest, grandeur and pride, + since they cannot constitute his happiness, be removed from destroying it. + I will no longer play the tyrant that, weighing good and evil by my own + feelings and opinions, insists upon his acting by the notions I have + formed, whatever misery they may bring him by opposing all his own. + </p> + <p> + I leave the kingdom with little reason to expect I shall return to it; I + leave it—Oh blindness of vanity and passion!—from the effect + of that violence with which so lately I opposed what now I am content to + advance! But the extraordinary resignation to which you have agreed, shews + your heart so wholly my son's, and so even more than worthy the whole + possession of his, that it reflects upon him an honour more bright and + more alluring, than any the most illustrious other alliance could now + confer. + </p> + <p> + I would fain see you ere I go, lest I should see you no more; fain ratify + by word of mouth the consent that by word of mouth I so absolutely + refused! I know not how to come to Suffolk,—is it not possible you + can come to London? I am told you leave to me the arbitration of your + fate, in giving you to my son, I best shew my sense of such an honour. + </p> + <p> + Hasten then, my love, to town, that I may see you once more! wait no + longer a concurrence thus unjustly with-held, but hasten, that I may bless + the daughter I have so often wished to own! that I may entreat her + forgiveness for all the pain I have occasioned her, and committing to her + charge the future happiness of my son, fold to my maternal heart the two + objects most dear to it! + </p> + <p> + AUGUSTA DELVILE. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia wept over this letter with tenderness, grief and alarm; but + declared, had it even summoned her to follow her abroad, she could not, + after reading it, have hesitated in complying. + </p> + <p> + “O now, then,” cried Delvile, “let our long suspenses end! hear me with + the candour; my mother has already listened to me—be mine, my + Cecilia, at once,—and force me not, by eternal scruples, to risk + another separation.” + </p> + <p> + “Good heaven, Sir!” cried Cecilia, starting, “in such a state as Mrs + Delvile thinks herself, would you have her journey delayed?” + </p> + <p> + “No, not a moment! I would but ensure you mine, and go with her all over + the world!” + </p> + <p> + “Wild and impossible!—and what is to be done with Mr Delvile?” + </p> + <p> + “It is on his account wholly I am thus earnestly precipitate. If I do not + by an immediate marriage prevent his further interference, all I have + already suffered may again be repeated, and some fresh contest with my + mother may occasion another relapse.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who now understood him, ardently protested she would not listen + for a moment to any clandestine expedient. + </p> + <p> + He besought her to be patient; and then anxiously represented to her their + peculiar situations. All application to his father he was peremptorily + forbid making, all efforts to remove his prejudices their impenetrable + mystery prevented; a public marriage, therefore, with such obstacles, + would almost irritate him to phrenzy, by its daring defiance of his + prohibition and authority. + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” exclaimed Cecilia, “we can never do right but in parting!” + </p> + <p> + “Say it not,” cried he, “I conjure you! we shall yet live, I hope, to + prove the contrary.” + </p> + <p> + “And can you, then,” cried she, reproachfully, “Oh Mr Delvile! can you + again urge me to enter your family in secret?” + </p> + <p> + “I grieve, indeed,” he answered, “that your goodness should so severely be + tried; yet did you not condescend to commit the arbitration to my mother?” + </p> + <p> + “True; and I thought her approbation would secure my peace of mind; but + how could I have expected Mrs Delvile's consent to such a scheme!” + </p> + <p> + “She has merely accorded it from a certainty there is no other resource. + Believe me, therefore, my whole hope rests upon your present compliance. + My father, I am certain, by his letter, will now hear neither petition nor + defence; on the contrary, he will only enrage at the temerity of offering + to confute him. But when he knows you are his daughter, his honour will + then be concerned in yours, and it will be as much his desire to have it + cleared, as it is now to have it censured.” + </p> + <p> + “Wait at least your return, and let us try what can be done with him.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh why,” cried Delvile, with much earnestness, “must I linger out month + after month in this wretched uncertainty! If I wait I am undone! my + father, by the orders I must unavoidably leave, will discover the + preparations making without his consent, and he will work upon you in my + absence, and compel you to give me up!” + </p> + <p> + “Are you sure,” said she, half smiling, “he would have so much power?” + </p> + <p> + “I am but too sure, that the least intimation, in his present irritable + state of mind, reaching him of my intentions, would make him not scruple, + in his fury, pronouncing some malediction upon my disobedience that <i>neither</i> + of us, I must own, could tranquilly disregard.” + </p> + <p> + This was an argument that came home to Cecilia, whose deliberation upon + it, though silent, was evidently not unfavourable. + </p> + <p> + He then told her that with respect to settlements, he would instantly have + a bond drawn up, similar to that prepared for their former intended union, + which should be properly signed and sealed, and by which he would engage + himself to make, upon coming to his estate, the same settlement upon her + that was made upon his mother. + </p> + <p> + “And as, instead of keeping up three houses,” he continued, “in the manner + my father does at present, I mean to put my whole estate <i>out to nurse</i>, + while we reside for a while abroad, or in the country, I doubt not but in + a very few years we shall be as rich and as easy as we shall desire.” + </p> + <p> + He told her, also, of his well-founded expectations from the Relations + already mentioned; which the concurrence of his mother with his marriage + would thence forward secure to him. + </p> + <p> + He then, with more coherence, stated his plan at large. He purposed, + without losing a moment, to return to London; he conjured her, in the name + of his mother, to set out herself early the next day, that the following + evening might be dedicated wholly to Mrs Delvile: through her intercession + he might then hope Cecilia's compliance, and every thing on the morning + after should be prepared for their union. The long-desired ceremony over, + he would instantly ride post to his father, and pay him, at least, the + respect of being the first to communicate it. He would then attend his + mother to the Continent, and leave the arrangement of everything to his + return. “Still, therefore, as a single man,” he continued, “I mean to make + the journey, and I shall take care, by the time I return, to have all + things in readiness for claiming my sweet Bride. Tell me, then, now, if + you can reasonably oppose this plan?” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed,” said Cecilia, after some hesitation, “I cannot see the necessity + of such violent precipitancy.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you not try me too much,” cried Delvile, impatiently, “to talk now of + precipitancy! after such painful waiting, such wearisome expectation! I + ask you not to involve your own affairs in confusion by accompanying me + abroad; sweet to me as would be such an indulgence, I would not make a + run-away of you in the opinion of the world. All I wish is the secret + certainty I cannot be robbed of you, that no cruel machinations may again + work our separation, that you are mine, unalterably mine, beyond the power + of caprice or ill fortune.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia made no answer; tortured with irresolution, she knew not upon what + to determine. + </p> + <p> + “We might then, according to the favour or displeasure of my father, + settle wholly abroad for the present, or occasionally visit him in + England; my mother would be always and openly our friend—Oh be firm, + then, I conjure you, to the promise you have given her, and deign to be + mine on the conditions she prescribes. She will be bound to you for ever + by so generous a concession, and even her health may be restored by the + cessation of her anxieties. With such a wife, such a mother, what will be + wanting for <i>me</i>! Could I lament not being richer, I must be + rapacious indeed!—Speak, then, my Cecilia! relieve me from the agony + of this eternal uncertainty, and tell me your word is invariable as your + honour, and tell me my mother gives not her sanction in vain!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia sighed deeply, but, after some hesitation, said, “I little knew + what I had promised, nor know I now what to perform!—there must + ever, I find, be some check to human happiness! yet, since upon these + terms, Mrs Delvile herself is content to wish me of her family—” + </p> + <p> + She stopt; but, urged earnestly by Delvile, added “I must not, I think, + withdraw the powers with which I entrusted her.” + </p> + <p> + Delvile, grateful and enchanted, now forgot his haste and his business, + and lost every wish but to re-animate her spirits: she compelled him, + however, to leave her, that his visit might less be wondered at, and sent + by him a message to Mrs. Delvile, that, wholly relying upon her wisdom, + she implicitly submitted to her decree. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0020" id="link2HCH0020"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER xi. — AN ENTERPRISE. + </h2> + <p> + Cecilia now had no time for afterthoughts or anxious repentance, since + notwithstanding the hurry of her spirits, and the confusion of her mind, + she had too much real business, to yield to pensive indulgence. + </p> + <p> + Averse to all falsehood, she invented none upon this occasion; she merely + told her guests she was summoned to London upon an affair of importance; + and though she saw their curiosity, not being at liberty to satisfy it + with the truth, she attempted not to appease it by fiction, but quietly + left it to its common fare, conjecture. She would gladly have made + Henrietta the companion of her journey, but Henrietta was the last to whom + that journey could give pleasure. She only, therefore, took her maid in + the chaise, and, attended by one servant on horseback, at six o'clock the + next morning, she quitted her mansion, to enter into an engagement by + which soon she was to resign it for ever. + </p> + <p> + Disinterested as she was, she considered her situation as peculiarly + perverse, that from the time of her coming to a fortune which most others + regarded as enviable, she had been a stranger to peace, a fruitless seeker + of happiness, a dupe to the fraudulent, and a prey to the needy! the + little comfort she had received, had been merely from dispensing it, and + now only had she any chance of being happy herself, when upon the point of + relinquishing what all others built their happiness upon obtaining! + </p> + <p> + These reflections only gave way to others still more disagreeable; she was + now a second time engaged in a transaction she could not approve, and + suffering the whole peace of her future life to hang upon an action dark, + private and imprudent: an action by which the liberal kindness of her late + uncle would be annulled, by which the father of her intended husband would + be disobeyed, and which already, in a similar instance, had brought her to + affliction and disgrace. These melancholy thoughts haunted her during the + whole journey, and though the assurance of Mrs Delvile's approbation was + some relief to her uneasiness, she involuntarily prepared herself for + meeting new mortifications, and was tormented with an apprehension that + this second attempt made her merit them. + </p> + <p> + She drove immediately, by the previous direction of Delvile, to a + lodging-house in Albemarle Street, which he had taken care to have + prepared for her reception. She then sent for a chair, and went to Mrs + Delvile's. Her being seen by the servants of that house was not very + important, as their master was soon to be acquainted with the real motive + of her journey. + </p> + <p> + She was shewn into a parlour, while Mrs Delvile was informed of her + arrival, and there flown to by Delvile with the most grateful eagerness. + Yet she saw in his countenance that all was not well, and heard upon + enquiry that his mother was considerably worse. Extremely shocked by this + intelligence, she already began to lament her unfortunate enterprise. + Delvile struggled, by exerting his own spirits, to restore hers, but + forced gaiety is never exhilarating; and, full of care and anxiety, he was + ill able to appear sprightly and easy. + </p> + <p> + They were soon summoned upstairs into the apartment of Mrs Delvile, who + was lying upon a couch, pale, weak, and much altered. Delvile led the way, + saying, “Here, madam, comes one whose sight will bring peace and pleasure + to you!” + </p> + <p> + “This, indeed,” cried Mrs Delvile, half rising and embracing her, “is the + form in which they are most welcome to me! virtuous, noble Cecilia! what + honour you do my son! with what joy, should I ever recover, shall I assist + him in paying the gratitude he owes you!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, grieved at her situation, and affected by her kindness, could + only answer with her tears; which, however, were not shed alone; for + Delvile's eyes were full, as he passionately exclaimed, “This, this is the + sight my heart has thus long desired! the wife of my choice taken to the + bosom of the parent I revere! be yet but well, my beloved mother, and I + will be thankful for every calamity that has led to so sweet a + conclusion!” + </p> + <p> + “Content yourself, however, my son, with one of us,” cried Mrs Delvile, + smiling; “and content yourself, if you can, though your hard lot should + make that one this creature of full bloom, health, and youth! Ah, my + love,” added she, more seriously, and addressing the still weeping + Cecilia, “should now Mortimer, in losing me, lose those cares by which + alone, for some months past, my life has been rendered tolerable, how + peaceably shall I resign him to one so able to recompense his filial + patience and services!” + </p> + <p> + This was not a speech to stop the tears of Cecilia, though such warmth of + approbation quieted her conscientious scruples. Delvile now earnestly + interfered; he told her that his mother had been ordered not to talk or + exert herself, and entreated her to be composed, and his mother to be + silent. + </p> + <p> + “Be it <i>your</i> business, then,” said Mrs Delvile, more gaily, “to find + us entertainment. We will promise to be very still if you will take that + trouble upon yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “I will not,” answered he, “be rallied from my purpose; if I cannot + entertain, it will be something to weary you, for that may incline you to + take rest, which will he answering a better purpose.” + </p> + <p> + “Mortimer,” returned she, “is this the ingenuity of duty or of love? and + which are you just now thinking of, my health, or a conversation + uninterrupted with Miss Beverley?” + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps a little of both!” said he, chearfully, though colouring. + </p> + <p> + “But you rather meant it should pass,” said Mrs Delvile, “you were + thinking only of me? I have always observed, that where one scheme answers + two purposes, the ostensive is never the purpose most at heart.” + </p> + <p> + “Why it is but common prudence,” answered Delvile, “to feel our way a + little before we mention what we most wish, and so cast the hazard of the + refusal upon something rather less important.” + </p> + <p> + “Admirably settled!” cried Mrs Delvile: “so my rest is but to prove Miss + Beverley's disturbance!—Well, it is only anticipating our future way + of life, when her disturbance, in taking the management of you to herself, + will of course prove my rest.” + </p> + <p> + She then quietly reposed herself, and Delvile discoursed with Cecilia upon + their future plans, hopes and actions. + </p> + <p> + He meant to set off from the church-door to Delvile Castle, to acquaint + his father with his marriage, and then to return instantly to London: + there he entreated Cecilia to stay with his mother, that, finding them + both together, he might not exhaust her patience, by making his parting + visit occasion another journey to Suffolk. + </p> + <p> + But here Cecilia resolutely opposed him; saying, her only chance to escape + discovery, was going instantly to her own house; and representing so + earnestly her desire that their marriage should be unknown till his return + to England, upon a thousand motives of delicacy, propriety, and + fearfulness, that the obligation he owed already to a compliance which he + saw grew more and more reluctant, restrained him both in gratitude and + pity from persecuting her further. Neither would she consent to seeing him + in Suffolk; which could but delay his mother's journey, and expose her to + unnecessary suspicions; she promised, however, to write to him often, and + as, from his mother's weakness, he must travel very slowly, she took a + plan of his route, and engaged that he should find a letter from her at + every great town. + </p> + <p> + The bond which he had already had altered, he insisted upon leaving in her + own custody, averse to applying to Mr Monckton, whose behaviour to him had + before given him disgust, and in whom Cecilia herself no longer wished to + confide. He had again applied to the same lawyer, Mr Singleton, to give + her away; for though to his secrecy he had no tie, he had still less to + any entire stranger. Mrs Delvile was too ill to attend them to church, nor + would Delvile have desired from her such absolute defiance of his father. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia now gave another sigh to her departed friend Mrs Charlton, whose + presence upon this awful occasion would else again have soothed and + supported her. She had no female friend in whom she could rely; but + feeling a repugnance invincible to being accompanied only by men, she + accepted the attendance of Mrs Delvile's own woman, who had lived many + years in the family, and was high in the favour and confidence of her + lady. + </p> + <p> + The arrangement of these and other articles, with occasional interruptions + from Mrs Delvile, fully employed the evening. Delvile would not trust + again to meeting her at the church; but begged her to send out her + servants between seven and eight o'clock in the morning, at which time he + would himself call for her with a chair. + </p> + <p> + She went away early, that Mrs Delvile might go to rest, and it was + mutually agreed they should risk no meeting the next day. Delvile conjured + them to part with firmness and chearfulness, and Cecilia, fearing her own + emotion, would have retired without bidding her adieu. But Mrs Delvile, + calling after her, said, “Take with you my blessing!” and tenderly + embracing her, added, “My son, as my chief nurse, claims a prescriptive + right to govern me, but I will break from his control to tell my sweet + Cecilia what ease and what delight she has already given to my mind! my + best hope of recovery is founded on the pleasure I anticipate to + witnessing your mutual happiness: but should my illness prove fatal, and + that felicity be denied me, my greatest earthly care is already removed by + the security I feel of Mortimer's future peace. Take with you, then, my + blessing, for you are become one to me! long daughter of my affection, now + wife of my darling son! love her, Mortimer, as she merits, and cherish her + with tenderest gratitude!—banish, sweetest Cecilia, every + apprehension that oppresses you, and receive in Mortimer Delvile a husband + that will revere your virtues, and dignify your choice!” + </p> + <p> + She then embraced her again, and seeing that her heart was too full for + speech, suffered her to go without making any answer. Delvile attended her + to her chair, scarce less moved than herself, and found only opportunity + to entreat her punctuality the next morning. + </p> + <p> + She had, indeed, no inclination to fail in her appointment, or risk the + repetition of scenes so affecting, or situations so alarming. Mrs + Delvile's full approbation somewhat restored to her her own, but nothing + could remove the fearful anxiety, which still privately tormented her with + expectations of another disappointment. + </p> + <p> + The next morning she arose with the light, and calling all her courage to + her aid, determined to consider this day as decisive of her destiny with + regard to Delvile, and, rejoicing that at least all suspense would be + over, to support herself with fortitude, be that destiny what it might. + </p> + <p> + At the appointed time she sent her maid to visit Mrs Hill, and gave some + errands to her man that carried him to a distant part of the town: but she + charged them both to return to the lodgings by nine o'clock, at which hour + she ordered a chaise for returning into the country. + </p> + <p> + Delvile, who was impatiently watching for their quitting the house, only + waited till they were out of sight, to present himself at the door. He was + shewn into a parlour, where she instantly attended him; and being told + that the clergyman, Mr Singleton, and Mrs Delvile's woman, were already in + the church, she gave him her hand in silence, and he led her to the chair. + </p> + <p> + The calmness of stifled hope had now taken place in Cecilia of quick + sensations and alarm. Occupied with a firm belief she should never be the + wife of Delvile, she only waited, with a desperate sort of patience, to + see when and by whom she was next to be parted from him. + </p> + <p> + When they arrived near the church, Delvile stopt the chair. He handed + Cecilia out of it, and discharging the chairmen, conducted her into the + church. He was surprised himself at her composure, but earnestly wishing + it to last, took care not to say to her a word that should make any answer + from her necessary. + </p> + <p> + He gave her, as before, to Mr Singleton, secretly praying that not, as + before, she might be given him in vain: Mrs Delvile's woman attended her; + the clergyman was ready, and they all proceeded to the altar. + </p> + <p> + The ceremony was begun; Cecilia, rather mechanically than with + consciousness, appearing to listen to it but at the words, <i>If any man + can shew any just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together</i>, + Delvile himself shook with terror, lest some concealed person should again + answer it, and Cecilia, with a sort of steady dismay in her countenance, + cast her eyes round the church, with no other view than that of seeing + from what corner the prohibiter would start. + </p> + <p> + She looked, however, to no purpose; no prohibiter appeared, the ceremony + was performed without any interruption, and she received the thanks of + Delvile, and the congratulations of the little set, before the idea which + had so strongly pre-occupied her imagination, was sufficiently removed + from it to satisfy her she was really married. + </p> + <p> + They then went to the vestry, where their business was not long; and + Delvile again put Cecilia into a chair, which again he accompanied on + foot. + </p> + <p> + Her sensibility now soon returned, though still attended with strangeness + and a sensation of incredulity. But the sight of Delvile at her lodgings, + contrary to their agreement, wholly recovered her senses from the stupor + which had dulled them. He came, however, but to acknowledge how highly she + had obliged him, to see her himself restored to the animation natural to + her, character, and to give her a million of charges, resulting from + anxiety and tenderness. And then, fearing the return of her servants, he + quitted her, and set out for Delvile Castle. + </p> + <p> + The amazement of Cecilia was still unconquerable; to be actually united + with Delvile! to be his with the full consent of his mother,—to have + him her's, beyond the power of his father,—she could not reconcile + it with possibility; she fancied it a dream,—but a dream from which + she wished not to wake. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0023" id="link2H_4_0023"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + BOOK X. + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0021" id="link2HCH0021"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER i + </h2> + <p> + A DISCOVERY. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia's journey back to the country was as safe and free from + interruption as her journey had been to town, and all that distinguished + them was what passed in her own mind: the doubts, apprehensions, and + desponding suspense which had accompanied her setting out, were now all + removed, and certainty, ease, the expectation of happiness, and the + cessation of all perplexity, had taken their place. She had nothing left + to dread but the inflexibility of Mr Delvile, and hardly any thing even to + hope but the recovery of his lady. + </p> + <p> + Her friends at her return expressed their wonder at her expedition, but + their wonder at what occasioned it, though still greater, met no + satisfaction. Henrietta rejoiced in her sight, though her absence had been + so short; and Cecilia, whose affection with her pity increased, intimated + to her the event for which she wished her to prepare herself, and frankly + acknowledged she had reason to expect it would soon take place. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta endeavoured with composure to receive this intelligence, and to + return such a mark of confidence with chearful congratulations: but her + fortitude was unequal to an effort so heroic, and her character was too + simple to assume a greatness she felt not: she sighed and changed colour; + and hastily quitted the room that she might sob aloud in another. + </p> + <p> + Warm-hearted, tender, and susceptible, her affections were all + undisguised: struck with the elegance of Delvile, and enchanted by his + services to her brother, she had lost to him her heart at first without + missing it, and, when missed, without seeking to reclaim it. The + hopelessness of such a passion she never considered, nor asked herself its + end, or scarce suspected its aim; it was pleasant to her at the time, and + she looked not to the future, but fed it with visionary schemes, and + soothed it with voluntary fancies. Now she knew all was over, she felt the + folly she had committed, but though sensibly and candidly angry at her own + error, its conviction offered nothing but sorrow to succeed it. + </p> + <p> + The felicity of Cecilia, whom she loved, admired and revered, she wished + with the genuine ardour of zealous sincerity; but that Delvile, the very + cause and sole subject of her own personal unhappiness, should himself + constitute that felicity, was too much for her spirits, and seemed to her + mortified mind too cruel in her destiny. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who in the very vehemence of her sorrow saw its innocence, was + too just and too noble to be offended by it, or impute to the bad passions + of envy or jealousy, the artless regret of an untutored mind. To be + penetrated too deeply with the merit of Delvile, with her wanted no + excuse, and she grieved for her situation with but little mixture of + blame, and none of surprise. She redoubled her kindness and caresses with + the hope of consoling her, but ventured to trust her no further, till + reflection, and her natural good sense, should better enable her to bear + an explanation. + </p> + <p> + Nor was this friendly exertion any longer a hardship to her; the sudden + removal, in her own feelings and affairs, of distress and expectation, had + now so much lightened her heart, that she could spare without repining, + some portion of its spirit to her dejected young friend. + </p> + <p> + But an incident happened two mornings after which called back, and most + unpleasantly, her attention to herself. She was told that Mrs Matt, the + poor woman she had settled in Bury, begged an audience, and upon sending + for her up stairs, and desiring to know what she could do for her, + “Nothing, madam, just now,” she answered, “for I don't come upon my own + business, but to tell some news to you, madam. You bid me never take + notice of the wedding, that was to be, and I'm sure I never opened my + mouth about it from that time to this; but I have found out who it was put + a stop to it, and so I come to tell you.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, extremely amazed, eagerly desired her to go on. + </p> + <p> + “Why, madam, I don't know the gentlewoman's name quite right yet, but I + can tell you where she lives, for I knew her as soon as I set eyes on her, + when I see her at church last Sunday, and I would have followed her home, + but she went into a coach, and I could not walk fast enough; but I asked + one of the footmen where she lived, and he said at the great house at the + Grove: and perhaps, madam, you may know where that is: and then he told me + her name, but that I can't just now think of.” + </p> + <p> + “Good heaven!” cried Cecilia,—“it could not be Bennet?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, ma'am, that's the very name; I know it again now I hear it.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then hastily dismissed her, first desiring her not to mention the + circumstance to any body. + </p> + <p> + Shocked and dismayed, she now saw, but saw with horror, the removal of all + her doubts, and the explanation of all her difficulties, in the full and + irrefragable discovery of the perfidy of her oldest friend and confident. + </p> + <p> + Miss Bennet herself she regarded in the affair as a mere tool, which, + though in effect it did the work, was innocent of its mischief, because + powerless but in the hand of its employer. + </p> + <p> + “That employer,” cried she, “must be Mr Monckton! Mr Monckton whom so long + I have known, who so willingly has been my counsellor, so ably my + instructor! in whose integrity I have confided, upon whose friendship I + have relied! my succour in all emergencies, my guide in all perplexities!—Mr + <i>Monckton</i> thus dishonourably, thus barbarously to betray me! to turn + against me the very confidence I had reposed in his regard for me! and + make use of my own trust to furnish the means to injure me!”— + </p> + <p> + She was now wholly confirmed that he had wronged her with Mr Delvile; she + could not have two enemies so malignant without provocation, and he who so + unfeelingly could dissolve a union at the very altar, could alone have the + baseness to calumniate her so cruelly. + </p> + <p> + Evil thoughts thus awakened, stopt not merely upon facts; conjecture + carried her further, and conjecture built upon probability. The + officiousness of Morrice in pursuing her to London, his visiting her when + there, and his following and watching Delvile, she now reasonably + concluded were actions directed by Mr Monckton, whose house he had but + just left, and whose orders, whatever they might be, she was almost + certain he would obey. Availing himself, therefore, of the forwardness and + suppleness which met in this young man, she doubted not but his + intelligence had contributed to acquaint him with her proceedings. + </p> + <p> + The motive of such deep concerted and accumulated treachery was next to be + sought: nor was the search long; one only could have tempted him to + schemes so hazardous and costly; and, unsuspicious as she was, she now saw + into his whole design. + </p> + <p> + Long accustomed to regard him as a safe and disinterested old friend, the + respect with which, as a child, she had looked up to him, she had + insensibly preserved when a woman. That respect had taught her to consider + his notice as a favour, and far from suspiciously shunning, she had + innocently courted it: and his readiness in advising and tutoring her, his + frank and easy friendliness of behaviour, had kept his influence + unimpaired, by preventing its secret purpose from being detected. + </p> + <p> + But now the whole mystery was revealed; his aversion to the Delviles, to + which hitherto she had attributed all she disapproved in his behaviour, + she was convinced must be inadequate to stimulate him to such lengths. + That aversion itself was by this late surmise accounted for, and no sooner + did it occur to her, than a thousand circumstances confirmed it. + </p> + <p> + The first among these was the evident ill will of Lady Margaret, which + though she had constantly imputed to the general irascibility for which + her character was notorious, she had often wondered to find impenetrable + to all endeavours to please or soften her. His care of her fortune, his + exhortations against her expences, his wish to make her live with Mr + Briggs, all contributed to point out the selfishness of his attentions, + which in one instance rendered visible, became obvious in every other. + </p> + <p> + Yet various as were the incidents that now poured upon her memory to his + disgrace, not one among them took its rise from his behaviour to herself, + which always had been scrupulously circumspect, or if for a moment + unguarded, only at a season when her own distress or confusion had + prevented her from perceiving it. This recollection almost staggered her + suspicions; yet so absolute seemed the confirmation they received from + every other, that her doubt was overpowered, and soon wholly extinguished. + </p> + <p> + She was yet ruminating on this subject, when, word was brought her that Mr + Monckton was in the parlour. + </p> + <p> + Mingled disgust and indignation made her shudder at his name, and without + pausing a moment, she sent him word she was engaged, and could not + possibly leave her room. + </p> + <p> + Astonished by such a dismission, he left the house in the utmost + confusion. But Cecilia could not endure to see him, after a discovery of + such hypocrisy and villainy. + </p> + <p> + She considered, however, that the matter could not rest here: he would + demand an explanation, and perhaps, by his unparalleled address, again + contrive to seem innocent, notwithstanding appearances were at present so + much against him. Expecting, therefore, some artifice, and determined not + to be duped by it, she sent again for the Pew-opener, to examine her more + strictly. + </p> + <p> + The woman was out at work in a private family, and could not come till the + evening: but, when further questioned, the description she gave of Miss + Bennet was too exact to be disputed. + </p> + <p> + She then desired her to call again the next morning and sent a servant to + the Grove, with her compliments to Miss Bennet, and a request that she + might send her carriage for her the next day, at any time she pleased, as + she wished much to speak with her. + </p> + <p> + This message, she was aware, might create some suspicion, and put her upon + her guard; but she thought, nevertheless, a sudden meeting with the + Pew-opener, whom she meant abruptly to confront with her, would baffle the + security of any previously settled scheme. + </p> + <p> + To a conviction such as this even Mr Monckton must submit, and since he + was lost to her as a friend, she might at least save herself the pain of + keeping up his acquaintance. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0022" id="link2HCH0022"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER ii. — AN INTERVIEW. + </h2> + <p> + The servant did not return till it was dark; and then, with a look of much + dismay, said he had been able to meet with nobody who could either give or + take a message; that the Grove was all in confusion, and the whole country + in an uproar, for Mr Monckton, just as he arrived, had been brought home + dead! + </p> + <p> + Cecilia screamed with involuntary horror; a pang like remorse seized her + mind, with the apprehension she had some share in this catastrophe, and + innocent as she was either of his fall or his crimes, she no sooner heard + he was no more, than she forgot he had offended her, and reproached + herself with severity for the shame to which she meant to expose him the + next morning. + </p> + <p> + Dreadfully disturbed by this horrible incident, she entreated Mrs Harrel + and Henrietta to sup by themselves, and going into her own room, + determined to write the whole affair to Delvile, in a letter she should + direct to be left at the post-office for him at Margate. + </p> + <p> + And here strongly she felt the happiness of being actually his wife; she + could now without reserve make him acquainted with all her affairs, and + tell to the master of her heart every emotion that entered it. + </p> + <p> + While engaged in this office, the very action of which quieted her, a + letter was brought her from Delvile himself. She received it with + gratitude and opened it with joy; he had promised to write soon, but so + soon she had thought impossible. + </p> + <p> + The reading took not much time; the letter contained but the following + words: + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Beverley</i>. + </p> + <p> + MY CECILIA!—Be alone, I conjure you; dismiss every body, and admit + me this moment! + </p> + <p> + Great was her astonishment at this note! no name to it, no conclusion, the + characters indistinct, the writing crooked, the words so few, and those + few scarce legible! + </p> + <p> + He desired to see her, and to see her alone; she could not hesitate in her + compliance,—but whom could she dismiss?—her servants, if + ordered away, would but be curiously upon the watch,—she could think + of no expedient, she was all hurry and amazement. + </p> + <p> + She asked if any one waited for an answer? The footman said no; that the + note was given in by somebody who did not speak, and who ran out of sight + the moment he had delivered it. + </p> + <p> + She could not doubt this was Delvile himself,—Delvile who should now + be just returned from the castle to his mother, and whom she had thought + not even a letter would reach if directed any where nearer than Margate! + </p> + <p> + All she could devise in obedience to him, was to go and wait for him alone + in her dressing-room, giving orders that if any one called they might be + immediately brought up to her, as she expected somebody upon business, + with whom she must not be interrupted. + </p> + <p> + This was extremely disagreeable to her; yet, contrary as it was to their + agreement, she felt no inclination to reproach Delvile; the abruptness of + his note, the evident hand-shaking with which it had been written, the + strangeness of the request in a situation such as theirs,—all + concurred to assure her he came not to her idly, and all led her to + apprehend he came to her with evil tidings. + </p> + <p> + What they might be, she had no time to conjecture; a servant, in a few + minutes, opened the dressing-room door, and said, “Ma'am, a gentleman;” + and Delvile, abruptly entering, shut it himself, in his eagerness to get + rid of him. + </p> + <p> + At his sight, her prognostication of ill became stronger! she went forward + to meet him, and he advanced to her smiling and in haste; but that smile + did not well do its office; it concealed not a pallid countenance, in + which every feature spoke horror; it disguised not an aching heart, which + almost visibly throbbed with intolerable emotion! Yet he addressed her in + terms of tenderness and peace; but his tremulous voice counteracted his + words, and spoke that all within was tumult and war! + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, amazed, affrighted, had no power to hasten an explanation, which, + on his own part, he seemed unable, or fearful to begin. He talked to her + of his happiness in again seeing her before he left the kingdom, entreated + her to write to him continually, said the same thing two and three times + in a breath, began with one subject, and seemed unconscious he wandered + presently into another, and asked her questions innumerable about her + health, journey, affairs, and ease of mind, without hearing from her any answer, + or seeming to miss that she had none. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia grew dreadfully terrified; something strange and most alarming she + was sure must have happened, but <i>what</i>, she had no means to know, + nor courage, nor even words to enquire. + </p> + <p> + Delvile, at length, the first hurry of his spirits abating, became more + coherent and considerate: and looking anxiously at her, said, “Why this + silence, my Cecilia?” + </p> + <p> + “I know not!” said she, endeavouring to recover herself, “but your coming + was unexpected: I was just writing to you at Margate.” + </p> + <p> + “Write still, then; but direct to Ostend; I shall be quicker than the + post; and I would not lose a letter—a line—a word from you, + for all the world can offer me!” + </p> + <p> + “Quicker than the post?” cried Cecilia; “but how can Mrs Delvile—” + she stopt; not knowing what she might venture to ask. + </p> + <p> + “She is now on the road to Margate; I hope to be there to receive her. I + mean but to bid you adieu, and be gone.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia made no answer; she was more and more astonished, more and more + confounded. + </p> + <p> + “You are thoughtful?” said he, with tenderness; “are you unhappy?—sweetest + Cecilia! most excellent of human creatures! if I have made you unhappy—and + I must!—it is inevitable!—” + </p> + <p> + “Oh Delvile!” cried she, now assuming more courage, “why will you not + speak to me openly?—something, I see, is wrong; may I not hear it? + may I not tell you, at least, my concern that any thing has distressed + you?” + </p> + <p> + “You are too good!” cried he; “to deserve you is not possible, but to + afflict you is inhuman!” + </p> + <p> + “Why so?” cried she, more chearfully; “must I not share the common lot? or + expect the whole world to be new modelled, lest I should meet in it any + thing but happiness?” + </p> + <p> + “There is not, indeed, much danger! Have you pen and ink here?” + </p> + <p> + She brought them to him immediately, with paper. + </p> + <p> + “You have been writing to me, you say?—I will begin a letter + myself.” + </p> + <p> + “To me?” cried she. + </p> + <p> + He made no answer, but took up the pen, and wrote a few words, and then, + flinging it down, said, “Fool!—I could have done this without + coming!” + </p> + <p> + “May I look at it?” said she; and, finding he made no opposition, advanced + and read. + </p> + <p> + <i>I fear to alarm you by rash precipitation,—I fear to alarm you by + lingering suspense,—but all is not well—</i> + </p> + <p> + “Fear nothing!” cried she, turning to him with the kindest earnestness; + “tell me, whatever it may be!—Am I not your wife? bound by every tie + divine and human to share in all your sorrows, if, unhappily, I cannot + mitigate them!” + </p> + <p> + “Since you allow me,” cried he, gratefully, “so sweet a claim, a claim to + which all others yield, and which if you repent not giving me, will make + all others nearly immaterial to me,—I will own to you that all, + indeed, is not well! I have been hasty,—you will blame me; I + deserve, indeed, to be blamed!—entrusted with your peace and + happiness, to suffer rage, resentment, violence, to make me forego what I + owed to such a deposite!—If your blame, however, stops short of + repentance—but it cannot!” + </p> + <p> + “What, then,” cried she with warmth, “must you have done? for there is not + an action of which I believe you capable, there is not an event which I + believe to be possible, that can ever make me repent belonging to you + wholly!” + </p> + <p> + “Generous, condescending Cecilia!” cried he; “Words such as these, hung + there not upon me an evil the most depressing, would be almost more than I + could bear—would make me too blest for mortality!” + </p> + <p> + “But words such as these,” said she more gaily, “I might long have + coquetted ere I had spoken, had you not drawn them from me by this alarm. + Take, therefore, the good with the ill, and remember, if all does not go + right, you have now a trusty friend, as willing to be the partner of your + serious as your happiest hours.” + </p> + <p> + “Shew but as much firmness as you have shewn sweetness,” cried he, “and I + will fear to tell you nothing.” + </p> + <p> + She reiterated her assurances; they then both sat down, and he began his + account. + </p> + <p> + “Immediately from your lodgings I went where I had ordered a chaise, and + stopped only to change horses till I reached Delvile Castle. My father saw + me with surprise, and received me with coldness. I was compelled by my + situation to be abrupt, and told him I came, before I accompanied my + mother abroad, to make him acquainted with an affair which I thought + myself bound in duty and respect to suffer no one to communicate to him + but myself. He then sternly interrupted me, and declared in high terms, + that if this affair concerned <i>you</i>, he would not listen to it. I + attempted to remonstrate upon this injustice, when he passionately broke + forth into new and horrible charges against you, affirming that he had + them from authority as indisputable as ocular demonstration. I was then + certain of some foul play.”— + </p> + <p> + “Foul play indeed!” cried Cecilia, who now knew but too well by whom she + had been injured. “Good heaven, how have I been deceived, where most I + have trusted!” + </p> + <p> + “I told him,” continued Delvile, “some gross imposition had been practiced + upon him, and earnestly conjured him no longer to conceal from me by whom. + This, unfortunately, encreased his rage; imposition, he said, was not so + easily played upon him, he left that for <i>me</i> who so readily was + duped; while for himself, he had only given credit to a man of much + consideration in Suffolk, who had known you from a child, who had solemnly + assured him he had repeatedly endeavoured to reclaim you, who had rescued + you from the hands of Jews at his own hazard and loss, and who actually + shewed him bonds acknowledging immense debts, which were signed with your + own hand.” + </p> + <p> + “Horrible!” exclaimed Cecilia, “I believed not such guilt and perfidy + possible!” + </p> + <p> + “I was scarce myself,” resumed Delvile, “while I heard him: I demanded + even with fierceness his author, whom I scrupled not to execrate as he + deserved; he coldly answered he was bound by an oath never to reveal him, + nor should he repay his honourable attention to his family by a breach of + his own word, were it even less formally engaged. I then lost all + patience; to mention honour, I cried, was a farce, where such infamous + calumnies were listened to;—but let me not shock you unnecessarily, + you may readily conjecture what passed.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah me!” cried Cecilia, “you have then quarrelled with your father!” + </p> + <p> + “I have!” said he; “nor does he yet know I am married: in so much wrath + there was no room for narration; I only pledged myself by all I held + sacred, never to rest till I had cleared your fame, by the detection of + this villainy, and then left him without further explanation.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh return, then, to him directly!” cried Cecilia, “he is your father, you + are bound to bear with his displeasure;—alas! had you never known + me, you had never incurred it!” + </p> + <p> + “Believe me,” he answered, “I am ill at ease under it: if you wish it, + when you have heard me, I will go to him immediately; if not, I will + write, and you shall yourself dictate what.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia thanked him, and begged he would continue his account. + </p> + <p> + “My first step, when I left the Castle, was to send a letter to my mother, + in which I entreated her to set out as soon as possible for Margate, as I + was detained from her unavoidably, and was unwilling my delay should + either retard our journey, or oblige her to travel faster. At Margate I + hoped to be as soon as herself, if not before her.” + </p> + <p> + “And why,” cried Cecilia, “did you not go to town as you had promised, and + accompany her?” + </p> + <p> + “I had business another way. I came hither.” + </p> + <p> + “Directly?” + </p> + <p> + “No; but soon.” + </p> + <p> + “Where did you go first?” + </p> + <p> + “My Cecilia, it is now you must summon your fortitude: I left my father + without an explanation on my part;—but not till, in his rage of + asserting his authority, he had unwarily named his informant.” + </p> + <p> + “Well!” + </p> + <p> + “That informant—the most deceitful of men!—was your long + pretended friend, Mr Monckton!” + </p> + <p> + “So I feared!” said Cecilia, whose blood now ran cold through her veins + with sudden and new apprehensions. + </p> + <p> + “I rode to the Grove, on hack-horses, and on a full gallop the whole way. + I got to him early in the evening. I was shewn into his library. I told + him my errand.—You look pale, my love? You are not well?—” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, too sick for speech, leant her head upon a table. Delvile was + going to call for help; but she put her hand upon his arm to stop him, + and, perceiving she was only mentally affected, he rested, and endeavoured + by every possible means to revive her. + </p> + <p> + After a while, she again raised her head, faintly saying, “I am sorry I + interrupted you; but the conclusion I already know,—Mr Monckton is + dead!” + </p> + <p> + “Not dead,” cried he; “dangerously, indeed, wounded, but thank heaven, not + actually dead!” + </p> + <p> + “Not dead?” cried Cecilia, with recruited strength and spirits, “Oh then + all yet may be well!—if he is not dead; he may recover!” + </p> + <p> + “He may; I hope he will!” + </p> + <p> + “Now, then,” she cried, “tell me all: I can bear any intelligence but of + death by human means.” + </p> + <p> + “I meant not to have gone such lengths; far from it; I hold duels in + abhorrence, as unjustifiable acts of violence, and savage devices of + revenge. I have offended against my own conviction,—but, transported + with passion at his infamous charges, I was not master of my reason; I + accused hum of his perfidy; he denied it; I told him I had it from my + father,—he changed the subject to pour abuse upon him; I insisted on + a recantation to clear you; he asked by what right? I fiercely answered; + by a husband's! His countenance, then, explained at least the motives of + his treachery,—he loves you himself! he had probably schemed to keep + you free till his wife died, and then concluded his machinations would + secure you his own. For this purpose, finding he was in danger of losing + you, he was content even to blast your character, rather than suffer you + to escape him! But the moment I acknowledged my marriage he grew more + furious than myself; and, in short-for why relate the frenzies of rage? we + walked out together; my travelling pistols were already charged; I gave + him his choice of them, and, the challenge being mine, for insolence + joined with guilt had robbed me of all forbearance, he fired first, but + missed me: I then demanded whether he would clear your fame? he called out + 'Fire! I will make no terms,'—I did fire,—and unfortunately + aimed better! We had neither of us any second, all was the result of + immediate passion; but I soon got people to him, and assisted in conveying + him home. He was at, first believed to be dead, and I was seized by his + servants; but he afterwards shewed signs of life, and by sending for my + friend Biddulph, I was released. Such is the melancholy transaction I came + to relate to you, flattering myself it would something less shock you from + me than from another: yet my own real concern for the affair, the + repentance with which from the moment the wretch fell, I was struck in + being his destroyer, and the sorrow, the remorse, rather, which I felt, in + coming to wound you with such black, such fearful intelligence,—you + to whom all I owe is peace and comfort!—these thoughts gave me so + much disturbance, that, in fact, I knew less than any other how to prepare + you for such a tale.” + </p> + <p> + He stopt; but Cecilia could say nothing: to censure him now would both be + cruel and vain; yet to pretend she was satisfied with his conduct, would + be doing violence to her judgment and veracity. She saw, too, that his + error had sprung wholly from a generous ardor in her defence, and that his + confidence in her character, had resisted, without wavering, every attack + that menaced it. For this she felt truly grateful; yet his quarrel with + his father,—the danger of his mother,—his necessary absence,—her + own clandestine situation,—and more than all, the threatened death + of Mr Monckton by his hands, were circumstances so full of dread and + sadness, she knew not upon which to speak,—how to offer him comfort,—how + to assume a countenance that looked able to receive any, or by what means + to repress the emotions which to many ways assailed her. Delvile, having + vainly waited some reply, then in a tone the most melancholy, said, “If it + is yet possible you can be sufficiently interested in my fate to care what + becomes of me, aid me now with your counsel, or rather with your + instructions; I am scarce able to think for myself, and to be thought for + by you, would yet be a consolation that would give me spirit for any + thing.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, starting from her reverie, repeated, “To care what becomes of + you-? Oh Delvile!—make not my heart bleed by words of such + unkindness!” + </p> + <p> + “Forgive me,” cried he, “I meant not a reproach; I meant but to state my + own consciousness how little I deserve from you. You talked to me of going + to my father? do you still wish it?” + </p> + <p> + “I think so!” cried she; too much disturbed to know what she said, yet + fearing again to hurt him by making him wait her answer. + </p> + <p> + “I will go then,” said he, “without doubt: too happy to be guided by you, + which-ever way I steer. I have now, indeed much to tell him; but whatever + may be his wrath, there is little fear, at this time, that my own temper + cannot bear it! what next shall I do?” + </p> + <p> + “What next?” repeated she; “indeed I know not!” + </p> + <p> + “Shall I go immediately to Margate? or shall I first ride hither?” + </p> + <p> + “If you please,” said she, much perturbed, and deeply sighing. + </p> + <p> + “I please nothing but by your direction, to follow that is my only chance + of pleasure. Which, then, shall I do?-you will not, now, refuse to direct + me?” + </p> + <p> + “No, certainly, not for the world!” + </p> + <p> + “Speak to me, then, my love, and tell me;—why are you thus silent?—is + it painful to you to counsel me?” + </p> + <p> + “No, indeed!” said she, putting her hand to her head, “I will speak to you + in a few minutes.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh my Cecilia!” cried he, looking at her with much alarm, “call back your + recollection! you know not what you say, you take no interest in what you + answer.” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed I do!” said she, sighing deeply, and oppressed beyond the power of + thinking, beyond any power but an internal consciousness of wretchedness. + </p> + <p> + “Sigh not so bitterly,” cried he, “if you have any compassion! sigh not so + bitterly,—I cannot bear to hear you!” + </p> + <p> + “I am very sorry indeed!” said she, sighing again, and not seeming + sensible she spoke. + </p> + <p> + “Good Heaven!” cried he, rising, “distract me not with this horror!—speak + not to me in such broken sentences!—Do you hear me, Cecilia?—why + will you not answer me?” + </p> + <p> + She started and trembled, looked pale and affrighted, and putting both her + hands upon her heart, said, “Oh yes!—but I have an oppression here,—a + tightness, a fulness,—I have not room for breath!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh beloved of my heart!” cried he, wildly casting himself at her feet, + “kill me not with this terror!—call back your faculties,—awake + from this dreadful insensibility! tell me at least you know me!—tell + me I have not tortured you quite to madness!—sole darling of my + affections! my own, my wedded Cecilia!—rescue me from this agony! it + is more than I can support!”—- + </p> + <p> + This energy of distress brought back her scattered senses, scarce more + stunned by the shock of all this misery, than by the restraint of her + feelings in struggling to conceal it. But these passionate exclamations + restoring her sensibility, she burst into tears, which happily relieved + her mind from the conflict with which it was labouring, and which, not + thus effected, might have ended more fatally. + </p> + <p> + Never had Delvile more rejoiced in her smiles than now in these seasonable + tears, which he regarded and blest as the preservers of her reason. They + flowed long without any intermission, his soothing and tenderness but + melting her to more sorrow: after a while, however, the return of her + faculties, which at first seemed all consigned over to grief, was + manifested by the returning strength of her mind: she blamed herself + severely for the little fortitude she had shewn, but having now given vent + to emotions too forcible to be wholly stiffed, she assured him he might + depend upon her' better courage for the future, and entreated him to + consider and settle his affairs. + </p> + <p> + Not speedily, however, could Delvile himself recover. The torture he had + suffered in believing, though only for a few moments, that the terror he + had given to Cecilia had affected her intellects, made even a deeper + impression upon his imagination, than the scene of fury and death, which + had occasioned that terror: and Cecilia, who now strained every nerve to + repair by her firmness, the pain which by her weakness she had given him, + was sooner in a condition for reasoning and deliberation than himself. + </p> + <p> + “Ah Delvile!” she cried, comprehending what passed within him, “do you + allow nothing for surprize? and nothing for the hard conflict of + endeavouring to suppress it? do you think me still as unfit to advise + with, and as worthless, as feeble a counsellor, as during the first + confusion of my mind?” + </p> + <p> + “Hurry not your tender spirits, I beseech you,” cried he, “we have time + enough; we will talk about business by and by.” + </p> + <p> + “What time?” cried she, “what is it now o'clock?” + </p> + <p> + “Good Heaven!” cried he, looking at his watch, “already past ten! you must + turn me out, my Cecilia, or calumny will still be busy, even though poor + Monckton is quiet.” + </p> + <p> + “I <i>will</i> turn you out,” cried she, “I am indeed most earnest to have + you gone. But tell me your plan, and which way you mean to go?” + </p> + <p> + “That;” he answered, “you shall decide for me yourself: whether to Delvile + Castle, to finish one tale, and wholly communicate another, or to Margate, + to hasten my mother abroad, before the news of this calamity reaches her.” + </p> + <p> + “Go to Margate,” cried she, eagerly, “set off this very moment! you can + write to your father from Ostend. But continue, I conjure you, on the + continent, till we see if this unhappy man lives, and enquire, of those + who can judge, what must follow if he should not!” + </p> + <p> + “A trial,” said he, “must follow, and it will go, I fear, but hardly with + me! the challenge was mine; his servants can all witness I went to him, + not he to me,—Oh my Cecilia! the rashness of which I have been + guilty, is so opposite to my principles, and, all generous as is your + silence, I know it so opposite to yours, that never, should his blood be + on my hands, wretch as he was, never will my heart be quiet more.” + </p> + <p> + “He will live, he will live!” cried Cecilia, repressing her horror, “fear + nothing, for he will live;—and as to his wound and his sufferings, + his perfidy has deserved them. Go, then, to Margate; think only of Mrs + Delvile, and save her, if possible, from hearing what has happened.” + </p> + <p> + “I will go,—stay,—do which and whatever you bid me: but, + should what I fear come to pass, should my mother continue ill, my father + inflexible, should this wretched man die, and should England no longer be + a country I shall love to dwell in,—could you, then, bear to own,—would + you, then, consent to follow me?” + </p> + <p> + “Could I?—am I not yours? may you not command me? tell me, then, you + have only to say,—shall I accompany you at once?” + </p> + <p> + Delvile, affected by her generosity, could scarce utter his thanks; yet he + did not hesitate in denying to avail himself of it; “No, my Cecilia,” he + cried, “I am not so selfish. If we have not happier days, we will at least + wait for more desperate necessity. With the uncertainty if I have not this + man's life to answer for at the hazard of my own, to take my wife—my + bride,—from the kingdom I must fly!—to make her a fugitive and + an exile in the first publishing that she is mine! No, if I am not a + destined alien for life I can never permit it. Nothing less, believe me, + shall ever urge my consent to wound the chaste propriety of your + character, by making you an eloper with a duelist.” + </p> + <p> + They then again consulted upon their future plans; and concluded that in + the present disordered state of their affairs, it would be best not to + acknowledge even to Mr Delvile their marriage, to whom the news of the + duel, and Mr Monckton's danger, would be a blow so severe, that, to add to + it any other might half distract him. + </p> + <p> + To the few people already acquainted with it, Delvile therefore determined + to write from Ostend, re-urging his entreaties for their discretion and + secrecy. Cecilia promised every post to acquaint him how Mr Monckton went + on, and she then besought him to go instantly, that he might out-travel + the ill news to his mother. + </p> + <p> + He complied, and took leave of her in the tenderest manner, conjuring her + to support her spirits, and be careful of her health. “Happiness,” said + he, “is much in arrears with us, and though my violence may have + frightened it away, your sweetness and gentleness will yet attract it + back: all that for me is in store must be received at your hands,—what + is offered in any other way, I shall only mistake for evil! droop not, + therefore, my generous Cecilia, but in yourself preserve me!” + </p> + <p> + “I will not droop,” said she; “you will find, I hope, you have not + intrusted yourself in ill hands.” + </p> + <p> + “Peace then be with you, my love!—my comforting, my soul-reviving + Cecilia! Peace, such as angels give, and such as may drive from your mind + the remembrance of this bitter hour!” + </p> + <p> + He then tore himself away. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who to his blessings could almost, like the tender Belvidera, + have exclaimed, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “O do not leave me!—stay with me and curse me!” + </pre> + <p> + listened to his steps till she could hear them no longer, as if the + remaining moments of her life were to be measured by them: but then, + remembering the danger both to herself and him of his stay, she + endeavoured to rejoice that he was gone, and, but that her mind was in no + state for joy, was too rational not to have succeeded. + </p> + <p> + Grief and horror for what was past, apprehension and suspense for what was + to come, so disordered her whole frame, so confused even her intellects, + that when not all the assistance of fancy could persuade her she still + heard the footsteps of Delvile, she went to the chair upon which he had + been seated, and taking possession of it, sat with her arms crossed, + silent, quiet, and erect, almost vacant of all thought, yet with a secret + idea she was doing something right. + </p> + <p> + Here she continued till Henrietta came to wish her good night; whose + surprise and concern at the strangeness of her look and attitude, once + more recovered her. But terrified herself at this threatened wandering of + her reason, and certain she must all night be a stranger to rest, she + accepted the affectionate offer of the kind-hearted girl to stay with her, + who was too much grieved for her grief to sleep any more than herself. + </p> + <p> + She told her not what had passed; that, she knew, would be fruitless + affliction to her: but she was soothed by her gentleness, and her + conversation was some security from the dangerous rambling of her ideas. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta herself found no little consolation in her own private sorrows, + that she was able to give comfort to her beloved Miss Beverley, from whom + she had received favours and kind offices innumerable. She quitted her not + night nor day, and in the honest pride of a little power to skew the + gratefulness of her heart, she felt a pleasure and self-consequence she + had never before experienced. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0023" id="link2HCH0023"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER iii. — A SUMMONS. + </h2> + <p> + Cecilia's earliest care, almost at break of day, was to send to the Grove; + from thence she heard nothing but evil; Mr Monckton was still alive, but + with little or no hope of recovery, constantly delirious, and talking of + Miss Beverley, and of her being married to young Delvile. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who knew well this, at least, was no delirium, though shocked + that he talked of it, hoped his danger less than was apprehended. + </p> + <p> + The next day, however, more fatal news was brought her, though not from + the quarter she expected it: Mr Monckton, in one of his raving fits, had + sent for Lady Margaret to his bed side, and used her almost inhumanly: he + had railed at her age and her infirmities with incredible fury, called her + the cause of all his sufferings, and accused her as the immediate agent of + Lucifer in his present wound and danger. Lady Margaret, whom neither + jealousy nor malignity had cured of loving him, was dismayed and + affrighted; and in hurrying out of the room upon his attempting, in his + frenzy, to strike her, she dropt down dead in an apoplectic fit. + </p> + <p> + “Good Heaven!” thought Cecilia, “what an exemplary punishment has this + man! he loses his hated wife at the very moment when her death could no + longer answer his purposes! Poor Lady Margaret! her life has been as + bitter as her temper! married from a view of interest, ill used as a bar + to happiness, and destroyed from the fruitless ravings of despair!” + </p> + <p> + She wrote all this intelligence to Ostend, whence she received a letter + from Delvile, acquainting her he was detained from proceeding further by + the weakness and illness of his mother, whose sufferings from seasickness + had almost put an end to her existence. + </p> + <p> + Thus passed a miserable week; Monckton still merely alive, Delvile + detained at Ostend, and Cecilia tortured alike by what was recently + passed, actually present, and fearfully expected; when one morning she was + told a gentleman upon business desired immediately to speak with her. + </p> + <p> + She hastily obeyed the summons; the constant image of her own mind, + Delvile, being already present to her, and a thousand wild conjectures + upon what had brought him back, rapidly occurring to her. + </p> + <p> + Her expectations, however, were ill answered, for she found an entire + stranger; an elderly man, of no pleasant aspect or manners. + </p> + <p> + She desired to know his business. + </p> + <p> + “I presume, madam, you are the lady of this house?” + </p> + <p> + She bowed an assent. + </p> + <p> + “May I take the liberty, madam, to ask your name?' + </p> + <p> + “My name, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “You will do me a favour, madam, by telling it me.” + </p> + <p> + “Is it possible you are come hither without already knowing it?” + </p> + <p> + “I know it only by common report, madam.” + </p> + <p> + “Common report, sir, I believe is seldom wrong in a matter where to be + right is so easy.” + </p> + <p> + “Have you any objection, madam, to telling me your name?” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir; but your business can hardly be very important, if you are yet + to learn whom you are to address. It will be time enough, therefore, for + us to meet when you are elsewhere satisfied in this point.” + </p> + <p> + She would then have left the room. + </p> + <p> + “I beg, madam,” cried the stranger, “you will have patience; it is + necessary, before I can open my business, that I should hear your name + from yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, sir,” cried she with some hesitation, “you can scarce have come to + this house, without knowing that its owner is Cecilia Beverley.” + </p> + <p> + “That, madam, is your maiden name.” + </p> + <p> + “My maiden name?” cried she, starting. + </p> + <p> + “Are you not married, madam?” + </p> + <p> + “Married, sir?” she repeated, while her cheeks were the colour of scarlet. + </p> + <p> + “It is, properly, therefore, madam, the name of your husband that I mean + to ask.” + </p> + <p> + “And by what authority, sir,” cried she, equally astonished and offended, + “do you make these extraordinary enquiries?” + </p> + <p> + “I am deputed, madam, to wait upon you by Mr Eggleston, the next heir to + this estate, by your uncle's will, if you die without children, or change + your name when you marry. His authority of enquiry, madam, I presume you + will allow, and he has vested it in me by a letter of attorney.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia's distress and confusion were now unspeakable; she knew not what + to own or deny, she could not conjecture how she had been betrayed, and + she had never made the smallest preparation against such an attack. + </p> + <p> + “Mr Eggleston, madam,” he continued, “has been pretty credibly informed + that you are actually married: he is very desirous, therefore, to know + what are your intentions, for your continuing to be called <i>Miss</i> + Beverley, as if still single, leaves him quite in the dark: but, as he is + so deeply concerned in the affair, he expects, as a lady of honour, you + will deal with him without prevarication.” + </p> + <p> + “This demand, sir,” said Cecilia, stammering, “is so extremely—so—so + little expected—” + </p> + <p> + “The way, madam, in these cases, is to keep pretty closely to the point; + are you married or are you not?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, quite confounded, made no answer: to disavow her marriage, when + thus formally called upon, was every way unjustifiable; to acknowledge it + in her present situation, would involve her in difficulties innumerable. + </p> + <p> + “This is not, madam, a slight thing; Mr Eggleston has a large family and a + small fortune, and that, into the bargain, very much encumbered; it + cannot, therefore, be expected that he will knowingly connive at cheating + himself, by submitting to your being actually married, and still enjoying + your estate though your husband does not take your name.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, now, summoning more presence of mind, answered, “Mr Eggleston, + sir, has, at least, nothing to fear from imposition: those with whom he + has, or may have any transactions in this affair, are not accustomed to + practice it.” + </p> + <p> + “I am far from meaning any offence, madam; my commission from Mr Eggleston + is simply this, to beg you will satisfy him upon what grounds you now + evade the will of your late uncle, which, till cleared up, appears a point + manifestly to his prejudice.” + </p> + <p> + “Tell him, then, sir, that whatever he wishes to know shall be explained + to him in about a week. At present I can give no other answer.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, madam; he will wait that time, I am sure, for he does not wish + to put you to any inconvenience. But when he heard the gentleman was gone + abroad without owning his marriage, he thought it high time to take some + notice of the matter.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who by this speech found she was every way discovered, was again + in the utmost confusion, and with much trepidation, said, “since you seem + so well, sir, acquainted with this affair, I should be glad you would + inform me by what means you came to the knowledge of it?” + </p> + <p> + “I heard it, madam, from Mr Eggleston himself, who has long known it.” + </p> + <p> + “Long, sir?—impossible! when it is not yet a fortnight—not ten + days, or no more, that—-” + </p> + <p> + She stopt, recollecting she was making a confession better deferred. + </p> + <p> + “That, madam,” he answered, “may perhaps bear a little contention: for + when this business comes to be settled, it will be very essential to be + exact as to the time, even to the very hour; for a large income per annum, + divides into a small one per diem: and if your husband keeps his own name, + you must not only give up your uncle's inheritance from the time of + relinquishing yours, but refund from the very day of your marriage.” + </p> + <p> + “There is not the least doubt of it,” answered she; “nor will the smallest + difficulty be made.” + </p> + <p> + “You will please, then, to recollect, madam, that this sum is every hour + encreasing; and has been since last September, which made half a year + accountable for last March. Since then there is now added—-” + </p> + <p> + “Good Heaven, Sir,” cried Cecilia, “what calculation are you making out? + do you call last week last September?” + </p> + <p> + “No, madam; but I call last September the month in which you were + married.” + </p> + <p> + “You will find yourself, then, sir, extremely mistaken; and Mr Eggleston + is preparing himself for much disappointment, if he supposes me so long in + arrears with him.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr Eggleston, madam, happens to be well informed of this transaction, as, + if there is any dispute in it, you will find. He was your immediate + successor in the house to which you went last September in Pall-Mall; the + woman who kept it acquainted his servants that the last lady who hired it + stayed with her but a day, and only came to town, she found, to be + married: and hearing, upon enquiry, this lady was Miss Beverley, the + servants, well knowing that their master was her conditional heir, told + him the circumstance.” + </p> + <p> + “You will find all this, sir, end in nothing.” + </p> + <p> + “That, madam, as I said before, remains to be proved. If a young lady at + eight o'clock in the morning, is seen,—and she was seen, going into + a church with a young gentleman, and one female friend; and is afterwards + observed to come out of it, followed by a clergyman and another person, + supposed to have officiated as father, and is seen get into a coach with + same young gentleman, and same female friend, why the circumstances are + pretty strong!—” + </p> + <p> + “They may seem so, Sir; but all conclusions drawn from them will be + erroneous. I was not married then, upon my honour!” + </p> + <p> + “We have little, madam, to do with professions; the circumstances are + strong enough to bear a trial, and—” + </p> + <p> + “A trial!—” + </p> + <p> + “We have traced, madam, many witnesses able to stand to divers + particulars; and eight months share of such an estate as this, is well + worth a little trouble.” + </p> + <p> + “I am amazed, sir! surely Mr Eggleston never desired you to make use of + this language to me?” + </p> + <p> + “Mr Eggleston, madam, has behaved very honourably; though he knew the + whole affair so long ago, he was persuaded Mr Delvile had private reasons + for a short concealment; and expecting every day when they would be + cleared up by his taking your name, he never interfered: but being now + informed he set out last week for the continent, he has been advised by + his friends to claim his rights.” + </p> + <p> + “That claim, sir, he need not fear will be satisfied; and without any + occasion for threats of enquiries or law suits.” + </p> + <p> + “The truth, madam, is this; Mr Eggleston is at present in a little + difficulty about some money matters, which makes it a point with him of + some consequence to have the affair settled speedily: unless you could + conveniently compromise the matter, by advancing a particular sum, till it + suits you to refund the whole that is due to him, and quit the premises.” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing, sir, is due to him! at least, nothing worth mentioning. I shall + enter into no terms, for I have no compromise to make. As to the premises, + I will quit them with all the expedition in my power.” + </p> + <p> + “You will do well, madam; for the truth is, it will not be convenient to + him to wait much longer.” + </p> + <p> + He then went away. + </p> + <p> + “When, next,” cried Cecilia, “shall I again be weak, vain, blind enough to + form any plan with a hope of secresy? or enter, with <i>any</i> hope, into + a clandestine scheme! betrayed by those I have trusted, discovered by + those I have not thought of, exposed to the cruellest alarms, and + defenceless from the most shocking attacks!—Such has been the life I + have led since the moment I first consented to a private engagement!—Ah + Delvile! your mother, in her tenderness, forgot her dignity, or she would + not have concurred in an action which to such disgrace made me liable!” + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0024" id="link2HCH0024"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER iv. — A DELIBERATION. + </h2> + <p> + It was necessary, however, not to moralize, but to act; Cecilia had + undertaken to give her answer in a week, and the artful attorney had drawn + from her an acknowledgment of her situation, by which he might claim it + yet sooner. + </p> + <p> + The law-suit with which she was threatened for the arrears of eight + months, alarmed her not, though it shocked her, as she was certain she + could prove her marriage so much later. + </p> + <p> + It was easy to perceive that this man had been sent with a view of working + from her a confession, and terrifying from her some money; the confession, + indeed, in conscience and honesty she could not wholly elude, but she had + suffered too often by a facility in parting with money to be there easily + duped. + </p> + <p> + Nothing, however, was more true, than that she now lived upon an estate of + which she no longer was the owner, and that all she either spent or + received was to be accounted for and returned, since by the will of her + uncle, unless her husband took her name, her estate on the very day of her + marriage was to be forfeited, and entered upon by the Egglestons. + Delvile's plan and hope of secresy had made them little weigh this matter, + though this premature discovery so unexpectedly exposed her to their + power. + </p> + <p> + The first thought that occurred to her, was to send an express to Delvile, + and desire his instructions how to proceed; but she dreaded his + impetuosity of temper, and was almost certain that the instant he should + hear she was in any uneasiness or perplexity, he would return to her, at + all hazards, even though Mr Monckton were dead, and his mother herself + dying. This step, therefore, she did not dare risk, preferring any + personal hardship, to endangering the already precarious life of Mrs + Delvile, or to hastening her son home while Mr Monckton was in so + desperate a situation. + </p> + <p> + But though what to avoid was easy to settle, what to seek was difficult to + devise. She bad now no Mrs Charlton to receive her, not a creature in whom + she could confide. To continue her present way of living was deeply + involving Delvile in debt, a circumstance she had never considered, in the + confusion and hurry attending all their plans and conversations, and a + circumstance which, though to him it might have occurred, he could not in + common delicacy mention. + </p> + <p> + Yet to have quitted her house, and retrenched her expences, would have + raised suspicions that must have anticipated the discovery she so much + wished to have delayed. That wish, by the present danger of its failure, + was but more ardent; to have her affairs and situation become publicly + known at the present period, she felt would half distract her.—Privately + married, parted from her husband at the very moment of their union, a + husband by whose hand the apparent friend of her earliest youth was all + but killed, whose father had execrated the match, whose mother was now + falling a sacrifice to the vehemence with which she had opposed it, and + who himself, little short of an exile, knew not yet if, with personal + safety, he might return to his native land! To circumstances so dreadful, + she had now the additional shock of being uncertain whether her own house + might not be seized, before any other could be prepared for her reception! + </p> + <p> + Yet still whither to go, what to do, or what to resolve, she was wholly + unable to determine; and after meditating almost to madness in the search + of some plan or expedient, she was obliged to give over the attempt, and + be satisfied with remaining quietly where she was, till she had better + news from Delvile of his mother, or better news to send him of Mr + Monckton; carefully, mean time, in all her letters avoiding to alarm him + by any hint of her distress. + </p> + <p> + Yet was she not idle, either from despair or helplessness: she found her + difficulties encreased, and she called forth more resolution to combat + them: she animated herself by the promise she had made Delvile, and + recovering from the sadness to which she had at first given way, she now + exerted herself with vigour to perform it as she ought. + </p> + <p> + She began by making an immediate inspection into her affairs, and + endeavouring, where expence seemed unnecessary, to lessen it. She gave + Henrietta to understand she feared they must soon part; and so afflicted + was the unhappy girl at the news, that she found it the most cruel office + she had to execute. The same intimation she gave to Mrs Harrel, who + repined at it more openly, but with a selfishness so evident that it + blunted the edge of pity. She then announced to Albany her inability to + pursue, at present, their extensive schemes of benevolence; and though he + instantly left her, to carry on his laborious plan elsewhere, the + reverence she had now excited in him of her character, made him leave her + with no sensation but of regret, and readily promise to return when her + affairs were settled, or her mind more composed. + </p> + <p> + These little preparations, which were all she could make, with enquiries + after Mr Monckton, and writing to Delvile, sufficiently filled up her + time, though her thoughts were by no means confined to them. Day after day + passed, and Mr Monckton continued to linger rather than live; the letters + of Delvile, still only dated from Ostend, contained the most melancholy + complaints of the illness of his mother; and the time advanced when her + answer would be claimed by the attorney. + </p> + <p> + The thought of such another visit was almost intolerable; and within two + days of the time that she expected it, she resolved to endeavour herself + to prevail with Mr Eggleston to wait longer. + </p> + <p> + Mr Eggleston was a gentleman whom she knew little more than by sight; he + was no relation to her family, nor had any connection with the Dean, but + by being a cousin to a lady he had married, and who had left him no + children. The dean had no particular regard for him, and had rather + mentioned him in his will as the successor of Cecilia, in case she died + unmarried or changed her name, as a mark that he approved of her doing + neither, than as a matter he thought probable, if even possible, to turn + out in his favour. + </p> + <p> + He was a man of a large family, the sons of which, who were extravagant + and dissipated, had much impaired his fortune by prevailing with him to + pay their debts, and much distressed him in his affairs by successfully + teasing him for money. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, acquainted with these circumstances, knew but too well with what + avidity her estate would be seized by them, and how little the sons would + endure delay, even if the father consented to it. Yet since the sacrifice + to which she had agreed must soon make it indisputably their own, she + determined to deal with them openly; and acknowledged, therefore, in her + letter, her marriage without disguise, but begged their patience and + secresy, and promised, in a short time, the most honourable retribution + and satisfaction. + </p> + <p> + She sent this letter by a man and horse, Mr Eggleston's habitation being + within fifteen miles of her own. + </p> + <p> + The answer was from his eldest son, who acquainted her that his father was + very ill, and had put all his affairs into the hands of Mr Carn, his + attorney, who was a man of great credit, and would see justice done on all + sides. + </p> + <p> + If this answer, which she broke open the instant she took it into her + hand, was in itself a cruel disappointment to her, how was that + disappointment embittered by shame and terror, when, upon again folding it + up, she saw it was directed to Mrs Mortimer Delvile! + </p> + <p> + This was a decisive stroke; what they wrote to her, she was sure they + would mention to all others; she saw they were too impatient for her + estate to be moved by any representations to a delay, and that their + eagerness to publish their right, took from them all consideration of what + they might make her suffer. Mr Eggleston, she found, permitted himself to + be wholly governed by his son; his son was a needy and profligate + spendthrift, and by throwing the management of the affair into the hands + of an attorney, craftily meant to shield himself from the future + resentment of Delvile, to whom, hereafter, he might affect, at his + convenience, to disapprove Mr Carn's behaviour, while Mr Carn was always + secure, by averring he only exerted himself for the interest of his + client. + </p> + <p> + The discerning Cecilia, though but little experienced in business, and + wholly unsuspicious by nature, yet saw into this management, and doubted + not these excuses were already arranged. She had only, therefore, to save + herself an actual ejectment, by quitting a house in which she was exposed + to such a disgrace. + </p> + <p> + But still whither to go she knew not! One only attempt seemed in her power + for an honourable asylum, and that was more irksomely painful to her than + seeking shelter in the meanest retreat: it was applying to Mr Delvile + senior. + </p> + <p> + The action of leaving her house, whether quietly or forcibly, could not + but instantly authenticate the reports spread by the Egglestons of her + marriage: to hope therefore for secresy any longer would be folly, and Mr + Delvile's rage at such intelligence might be still greater to hear it by + chance than from herself. She now lamented that Delvile had not at once + told the tale, but, little foreseeing such a discovery as the present, + they had mutually concluded to defer the communication till his return. + </p> + <p> + Her own anger at the contemptuous ill treatment she had repeatedly met + from him, she was now content not merely to suppress but to dismiss, + since, as the wife of his son without his consent, she considered herself + no longer as wholly innocent of incurring it. Yet, such was her dread of + his austerity and the arrogance of his reproaches, that, by choice, she + would have preferred an habitation with her own pensioner, the pew-opener, + to the grandest apartment in Delvile Castle while he continued its lord. + </p> + <p> + In her present situation, however, her choice was little to be consulted: + the honour of Delvile was concerned in her escaping even temporary + disgrace, and nothing, she knew, would so much gratify him, as any + attention from her to his father. She wrote to him, therefore, the + following letter, which she sent by an express. + </p> + <p> + <i>To the Hon. Compton Delvile. </i> + </p> + <p> + April 29th, 1780. + </p> + <p> + SIR,—I should not, even by letter, presume thus to force myself upon + your remembrance, did I not think it a duty I now owe your son, both to + risk and to bear the displeasure it may unhappily occasion. After such an + acknowledgment, all other confession would be superfluous; and uncertain + as I am if you will ever deign to own me, more words than are necessary + would be merely impertinent. + </p> + <p> + It was the intention of your son, Sir, when he left the kingdom, to submit + wholly to your arbitration, at his return, which should be resigned, his + own name or my fortune: but his request for your decision, and his + supplication for your forgiveness, are both, most unfortunately, + prevented, by a premature and unforeseen discovery of our situation, which + renders an immediate determination absolutely unavoidable. + </p> + <p> + At this distance from him, I cannot, in time, receive his directions upon + the measures I have to take; pardon me then, Sir, if well knowing my + reference to him will not be more implicit than his own to you, I venture, + in the present important crisis of my affairs, to entreat those commands + instantly, by which I am certain of being guided ultimately. + </p> + <p> + I would commend myself to your favour but that I dread exciting your + resentment. I will detain you, therefore, only to add, that the father of + Mr Mortimer Delvile, will ever meet the most profound respect from her + who, without his permission, dare sign no name to the honour she now has + in declaring herself his most humble, and most obedient servant. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Her mind was somewhat easier when this letter was written, because she + thought it a duty, yet felt reluctance in performing it. She wished to + have represented to him strongly the danger of Delvile's hearing her + distress, but she knew so well his inordinate self-sufficiency, she feared + a hint of that sort might be construed into an insult, and concluded her + only chance that he would do any thing, was by leaving wholly to his own + suggestions the weighing and settling what. + </p> + <p> + But though nothing was more uncertain than whether she should be received + at Delvile Castle, nothing was more fixed than that she must quit her own + house, since the pride of Mr Delvile left not even a chance that his + interest would conquer it. She deferred not, therefore, any longer making + preparations for her removal, though wholly unsettled whither. + </p> + <p> + Her first, which was also her most painful task, was to acquaint Henrietta + with her situation: she sent, therefore, to desire to speak with her, but + the countenance of Henrietta shewed her communication would not surprise + her. + </p> + <p> + “What is the matter with my dear Henrietta?” cried Cecilia; “who is it has + already afflicted that kind heart which I am now compelled to afflict for + myself?” + </p> + <p> + Henrietta, in whom anger appeared to be struggling with sorrow, answered, + “No, madam, not afflicted for <i>you</i>! it would be strange if I were, + thinking as I think!” + </p> + <p> + “I am glad,” said Cecilia, calmly, “if you are not, for I would give to + you, were it possible, nothing but pleasure and joy.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah madam!” cried Henrietta, bursting into tears, “why will you say so + when you don't care what becomes of me! when you are going to cast me off!—and + when you will soon be too happy ever to think of me more!” + </p> + <p> + “If I am never happy till then,” said Cecilia, “sad, indeed, will be my + life! no, my gentlest friend, you will always have your share in my heart; + and always, to me, would have been the welcomest guest in my house, but + for those unhappy circumstances which make our separating inevitable.” + </p> + <p> + “Yet you suffered me, madam, to hear from any body that you was married + and going away; and all the common servants in the house knew it before + me.” + </p> + <p> + “I am amazed!” said Cecilia; “how and which way can they have heard it?” + </p> + <p> + “The man that went to Mr Eggleston brought the first news of it, for he + said all the servants there talked of nothing else, and that their master + was to come and take possession here next Thursday.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia started at this most unwelcome intelligence; “Yet you envy me,” + she cried, “Henrietta, though I am forced from my house! though in + quitting it, I am unprovided with any other, and though him for whom I + relinquish it, is far off, without means of protecting, or power of + returning to me!” + </p> + <p> + “But you are married to him, madam!” cried she, expressively. + </p> + <p> + “True, my love; but, also, I am parted from him!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh how differently,” exclaimed Henrietta, “do the great think from the + little! were <i>I</i> married,—and <i>so</i> married, I should want + neither house, nor fine cloaths, nor riches, nor any thing;—I should + not care where I lived,—every place would be paradise! I would walk + to him barefoot if he were a thousand miles off, and I should mind nobody + else in the world while I had him to take care of me!” + </p> + <p> + Ah Delvile! thought Cecilia, what powers of fascination are yours! should + I be tempted to repine at what I have to bear, I will think of this + heroick girl and blush! + </p> + <p> + Mrs Harrel now broke in upon them, eager to be informed of the truth or + falsehood of the reports which were buzzed throughout the house. Cecilia + briefly related to them both the state of her affairs, earnestly + expressing her concern at the abrupt separation which must take place, and + for which she had been unable to prepare them, as the circumstances which + led to it had been wholly unforeseen by herself. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Harrel listened to the account with much curiosity and surprize; but + Henrietta wept incessantly in hearing it: the object of a passion ardent + as it was romantic, lost to her past recovery; torn herself, probably for + ever, from the best friend she had in the world; and obliged to return + thus suddenly to an home she detested,—Henrietta possessed not the + fortitude to hear evils such as these, which, to her inexperienced heart, + appeared the severest that could be inflicted. + </p> + <p> + This conversation over, Cecilia sent for her Steward, and desired him, + with the utmost expedition, to call in all her bills, and instantly to go + round to her tenants within twenty miles, and gather in, from those who + were able to pay, the arrears now due to her; charging him, however, upon + no account, to be urgent with such as seemed distressed. + </p> + <p> + The bills she had to pay were collected without difficulty; she never owed + much, and creditors are seldom hard of access; but the money she hoped to + receive fell very short of her expectations, for the indulgence she had + shewn to her tenants had ill prepared them for so sudden a demand. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0025" id="link2HCH0025"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER v. — A DECISION. + </h2> + <p> + This business effectually occupied the present and following day; the + third, Cecilia expected her answer from Delvile Castle, and the visit she + so much dreaded from the attorney. + </p> + <p> + The answer arrived first. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Miss Beverley</i>. + </p> + <p> + MADAM,—As my son has never apprized me of the extraordinary step + which your letter intimates, I am too unwilling to believe him capable of + so far forgetting what he owes his family, to ratify any such intimation + by interfering with my counsel or opinion.—I am, Madam, &c., + </p> + <p> + COMPTON DELVILE. + </p> + <p> + DELVILE CASTLE, <i>May 1st, 1780</i>. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia had little right to be surprised by this letter, and she had not a + moment to comment upon it, before the attorney arrived. + </p> + <p> + “Well, madam,” said the man, as he entered the parlour, “Mr Eggleston has + stayed your own time very patiently: he commissions me now to enquire if + it is convenient to you to quit the premises.” + </p> + <p> + “No, Sir, it is by no means convenient to me; and if Mr Eggleston will + wait some time longer, I shall be greatly obliged to him.” + </p> + <p> + “No doubt, madam, but he will, upon proper considerations.” + </p> + <p> + “What, Sir, do you call proper?” + </p> + <p> + “Upon your advancing to him, as I hinted before, an immediate particular + sum from what must, by and bye, be legally restituted.” + </p> + <p> + “If this is the condition of his courtesy, I will quit the house without + giving him further trouble.” + </p> + <p> + “Just as it suits you, madam. He will be glad to take possession to-morrow + or next day.” + </p> + <p> + “You did well, Sir, to commend his patience! I shall, however, merely + discharge my servants, and settle my accounts, and be ready to make way + for him.” + </p> + <p> + “You will not take it amiss, madam, if I remind you that the account with + Mr Eggleston must be the first that is settled.” + </p> + <p> + “If you mean the arrears of this last fortnight or three weeks, I believe + I must desire him to wait Mr Delvile's return, as I may otherwise myself + be distressed for ready money.” + </p> + <p> + “That, madam, is not likely, as it is well known you have a fortune that + was independent of your late uncle; and as to distress for ready money, it + is a plea Mr Eggleston can urge much more strongly.” + </p> + <p> + “This is being strangely hasty, Sir!—so short a time as it is since + Mr Eggleston could expect <i>any</i> of this estate!” + </p> + <p> + “That, madam, is nothing to the purpose; from the moment it is his, he has + as many wants for it as any other gentleman. He desired me, however, to + acquaint you, that if you still chose an apartment in this house, till Mr + Delvile returns, you shall have one at your service.” + </p> + <p> + “To be a <i>guest</i> in this house, Sir,” said Cecilia, drily, “might + perhaps seem strange to me; I will not, therefore, be so much in his way.” + </p> + <p> + Mr Carn then informed her she might put her seal upon whatever she meant + hereafter to claim or dispute, and took his leave. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia now shut herself up in her own room, to meditate without + interruption, before she would proceed to any action. She felt much + inclination to send instantly for some lawyer; but when she considered her + peculiar situation, the absence of her husband, the renunciation of his + father, the loss of her fortune, and her ignorance upon the subject, she + thought it better to rest quiet till Delvile's own fate, and own opinion + could be known, than to involve herself in a lawsuit she was so little + able to superintend. + </p> + <p> + In this cruel perplexity of her mind and her affairs, her first thought + was to board again with Mrs Bayley; but that was soon given up, for she + felt a repugnance unconquerable to continuing in her native county, when + deprived of her fortune, and cast out of her dwelling. + </p> + <p> + Her situation, indeed, was singularly unhappy, since, by this unforeseen + vicissitude of fortune, she was suddenly, from being an object of envy and + admiration, sunk into distress, and threatened with disgrace; from being + every where caressed, and by every voice praised, she blushed to be seen, + and expected to be censured; and, from being generally regarded as an + example of happiness, and a model of virtue, she was now in one moment to + appear to the world, an outcast from her own house, yet received into no + other! a bride, unclaimed by a husband! an HEIRESS, dispossessed of all + wealth! + </p> + <p> + To be first acknowledged as <i>Mrs Delvile</i> in a state so degrading, + she could not endure; and to escape from it, one way alone remained, which + was going instantly abroad. + </p> + <p> + Upon this, therefore, she finally determined: her former objections to + such a step being now wholly, though unpleasantly removed, since she had + neither estate nor affairs to demand her stay, and since all hopes of + concealment were totally at an end. Her marriage, therefore, and its + disgraceful consequences being published to the world, she resolved + without delay to seek the only asylum which was proper for her, in the + protection of the husband for whom she had given up every other. + </p> + <p> + She purposed, therefore, to go immediately and privately to London, whence + she could best settle her route for the continent: where she hoped to + arrive before the news of her distress reached Delvile, whom nothing, she + was certain, but her own presence, could keep there for a moment after + hearing it. + </p> + <p> + Thus decided, at length, in her plan, she proceeded to put it in execution + with calmness and intrepidity; comforting herself that the conveniencies + and indulgencies with which she was now parting, would soon be restored to + her, and though not with equal power, with far more satisfaction. She told + her steward her design of going the next morning to London, bid him pay + instantly all her debts, and discharge all her servants, determining to + keep no account open but that with Mr Eggleston, which he had made so + intricate by double and undue demands, that she thought it most prudent + and safe to leave him wholly to Delvile. + </p> + <p> + She then packed up all her papers and letters, and ordered her maid to + pack up her clothes. + </p> + <p> + She next put her own seal upon her cabinets, draws, and many other things, + and employed almost all her servants at once, in making complete + inventories of what every room contained. + </p> + <p> + She advised Mrs Harrel to send without delay for Mr Arnott, and return to + his house. She had first purposed to carry Henrietta home to her mother + herself; but another scheme for her now occurred, from which she hoped + much future advantage to the amiable and dejected girl. + </p> + <p> + She knew well, that deep as was at present her despondency, the removal of + all possibility of hope, by her knowledge of Delvile's marriage, must + awaken her before long from the delusive visions of her romantic fancy; Mr + Arnott himself was in a situation exactly similar, and the knowledge of + the same event would probably be productive of the same effect. When Mrs + Harrel, therefore, began to repine at the solitude to which she was + returning, Cecilia proposed to her the society of Henrietta, which, glad + to catch at any thing that would break into her loneliness, she listened + to with pleasure, and seconded by an invitation. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta, to whom all houses appeared preferable to her own home, + joyfully accepted the offer, committing to Cecilia the communication of + the change of her abode to Mrs Belfield. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who in the known and tried honour of Mr Arnott would + unreluctantly have trusted a sister, was much pleased by this little + arrangement, from which should no good ensue, no evil, at least, was + probable. But she hoped, through the mutual pity their mutual melancholy + might inspire, that their minds, already not dissimilar, would be softened + in favour of each other, and that, in conclusion, each might be happy in + receiving the consolation each could give, and a union would take place, + in which their reciprocal disappointment might, in time, be nearly + forgotten. + </p> + <p> + There was not, indeed, much promise of such an event in the countenance of + Mr Arnott, when, late at night, he came for his sister, nor in the + unbounded sorrow of Henrietta, when the moment of leave-taking arrived. Mr + Arnott looked half dead with the shock his sister's intelligence had given + him, and Henrietta's heart, torn asunder between friendship and love, was + scarce able to bear a parting, which from Cecilia, she regarded as + eternal, added to the consciousness it was occasioned by her going to join + Delvile for life! + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who both read and pitied these conflicting emotions, was herself + extremely hurt by this necessary separation. She tenderly loved Henrietta, + she loved her even the more for the sympathy of their affections, which + called forth the most forcible commiseration,—that which springs + from fellow-feeling! + </p> + <p> + “Farewell,” she cried, “my Henrietta, be but happy as you are innocent, + and be both as I love you, and nothing will your friends have to wish for + you, or yourself to regret.” + </p> + <p> + “I must always regret,” cried the sobbing Henrietta, “that I cannot live + with you for ever! I should regret it if I were queen of all the world, + how much more then, when I am nothing and nobody! I do not wish <i>you</i> + happy, madam, for I think happiness was made on purpose for you, and + nobody else ever had it before; I only wish you health and long life, for + the sake of those who will be made as happy as you,—for you will + spoil them,—as you have spoilt me,—from being ever happy + without you!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia re-iterated her assurances of a most faithful regard, embraced Mrs + Harrel, spoke words of kindness to the drooping Mr Arnott, and then parted + with them all. + </p> + <p> + Having still many small matters to settle, and neither company nor + appetite, she would eat no supper; but, in passing thro' the hall, in her + way to her own room, she was much surprised to see all her domestics + assembled in a body. She stopt to enquire their intention, when they + eagerly pressed forward, humbly and earnestly entreating to know why they + were discharged? “For no reason in the world,” cried Cecilia, “but because + it is at present out of my power to keep you any longer.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't part with <i>me</i>, madam, for that,” cried one of them, “for I + will serve you for nothing!” + </p> + <p> + “So will I!” cried another, “And I!” “And I!” was echoed by them all; + while “no other such mistress is to be found!” “We can never bear any + other place!” and “keep <i>me</i>, madam, at least!” was even clamorously + urged by each of them. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, distressed and flattered at once by their unwillingness to quit + her, received this testimony of gratitude for the kind and liberal + treatment they had received, with the warmest thanks both for their + services and fidelity, and assured them that when again she was settled, + all those who should be yet unprovided with places, should be preferred in + her house before any other claimants. + </p> + <p> + Having, with difficulty, broken from them, she sent for her own man, + Ralph, who had lived with her many years before the death of the Dean, and + told him she meant still to continue him in her service. The man heard it + with great delight, and promised to re-double his diligence to deserve her + favour. She then communicated the same news to her maid, who had also + resided with her some years, and by whom with the same, or more pleasure + it was heard. + </p> + <p> + These and other regulations employed her almost all night; yet late and + fatigued as she went to bed, she could not close her eyes: fearful + something was left undone, she robbed herself of the short time she had + allowed to rest, by incessant meditation upon what yet remained to be + executed. She could recollect, however, one only thing that had escaped + her vigilance, which was acquainting the pew-opener, and two or three + other poor women who had weekly pensions from her, that they must, at + least for the present, depend no longer upon her assistance. + </p> + <p> + Nothing indeed could be more painful to her than giving them such + information, yet not to be speedy with it would double the barbarity of + their disappointment. She even felt for these poor women, whose loss in + her she knew would be irreparable, a compassion that drove from her mind + almost every other subject, and determined her, in order to soften to them + this misfortune, to communicate it herself, that she might prevent them + from sinking under it, by reviving them with hopes of her future + assistance. + </p> + <p> + She had ordered at seven o'clock in the morning an hired chaise at the + door, and she did not suffer it long to wait for her. She quitted her + house with a heart full of care and anxiety, grieving at the necessity of + making such a sacrifice, uncertain how it would turn out, and labouring + under a thousand perplexities with respect to the measures she ought + immediately to take. She passed, when she reached the hall, through a row + of weeping domestics, not one of whom with dry eyes could see the house + bereft of such a mistress. She spoke to them all with kindness, and as + much as was in her power with chearfulness: but the tone of her voice gave + them little reason to think the concern at this journey was all their own. + </p> + <p> + She ordered her chaise to drive round to the pew-opener's and thence to + the rest of her immediate dependents. She soon, however, regretted that + she had given herself this task; the affliction of these poor pensioners + was clamorous, was almost heart-breaking; they could live, they said, no + longer, they were ruined for ever; they should soon be without bread to + eat, and they might cry for help in vain, when their generous, their only + benefactress was far away! + </p> + <p> + Cecilia made the kindest efforts, to comfort and encourage them, assuring + them the very moment her own affairs were arranged, she would remember + them all, visit them herself, and contribute to their relief, with all the + power she should have left. Nothing, however, could console them; they + clung about her, almost took the horses from the chaise, and conjured her + not to desert those who were solely cherished by her bounty! + </p> + <p> + Nor was this all she had to suffer; the news of her intention to quit the + county was now reported throughout the neighbourhood, and had spread the + utmost consternation among the poor in general, and the lower close of her + own tenants in particular, and the road was soon lined with women and + children, wringing their hands and crying. They followed her carriage with + supplications that she would return to them, mixing blessings with their + lamentations, and prayers for her happiness with the bitterest repinings + at their own loss! + </p> + <p> + Cecilia was extremely affected; her liberal and ever-ready hand was every + other instant involuntarily seeking her purse, which her many immediate + expences, made her prudence as often check: and now first she felt the + capital error she had committed, in living constantly to the utmost extent + of her income, without ever preparing, though so able to have done it, + against any unfortunate contingency. + </p> + <p> + When she escaped, at last, from receiving any longer this painful tribute + to her benevolence, she gave orders to her man to ride forward and stop at + the Grove, that a precise and minute account of Mr Monckton, might be the + last, as it was now become the most important, news she should hear in + Suffolk. This he did, when to her equal surprise and delight, she heard + that he was suddenly so much better, there were hopes of his recovery. + </p> + <p> + Intelligence so joyful made her amends for almost every thing; yet she + hesitated not in her plan of going abroad, as she knew not where to be in + England, and could not endure to hurry Delvile from his sick mother, by + acquainting him with her helpless and distressed situation. But so revived + were her spirits by these unexpected tidings, that a gleam of brightest + hope once more danced before her eyes, and she felt herself invigorated + with fresh courage and new strength, sufficient to support her through all + hardships and fatigues. + </p> + <p> + Spirits and courage were indeed much wanted for the enterprize she had + formed; but little used to travelling, and having never been out of + England, she knew nothing of the route but by a general knowledge of + geography, which, though it could guide her east or west, could teach her + nothing of foreign customs, the preparations necessary for the journey, + the impositions she should guard against, nor the various dangers to which + she might be exposed, from total ignorance of the country through which + she had to pass. + </p> + <p> + Conscious of these deficiencies for such an undertaking, she deliberated + without intermission how to obviate them. Yet sometimes, when to these + hazards, those arising from her youth and sex were added, she was upon the + point of relinquishing her scheme, as too perilous for execution, and + resolving to continue privately in London till some change happened in her + affairs. + </p> + <p> + But though to every thing she could suggest, doubts and difficulties + arose, she had no friend to consult, nor could devise any means by which + they might be terminated. Her maid was her only companion, and Ralph, who + had spent almost his whole life in Suffolk, her only guard and attendant. + To hire immediately some French servant, used to travelling in his own + country, seemed the first step she had to take, and so essential, that no + other appeared feasible till it was done. But where to hear of such a man + she could not tell, and to take one not well recommended, would be + exposing herself to frauds and dangers innumerable. + </p> + <p> + Yet so slow as Delvile travelled, from whom her last letter was still + dated Ostend, she thought herself almost certain, could she once reach the + continent, of overtaking him in his route within a day or two of her + landing. + </p> + <p> + The earnest inclination with which this scheme was seconded, made her + every moment less willing to forego it. It seemed the only harbour for her + after the storm she had weathered, and the only refuge she could properly + seek while thus houseless and helpless. Even were Delvile in England, he + had no place at present to offer her, nor could any thing be proposed so + unexceptionable as her living with Mrs Delvile at Nice, till he knew his + father's pleasure, and, in a separate journey home, had arranged his + affairs either for her return, or her continuance abroad. + </p> + <p> + With what regret did she now look back to the time when, in a distress + such as this, she should have applied for, and received the advice of Mr + Monckton as oracular! The loss of a counsellor so long, so implicitly + relied upon, lost to her also, only by his own interested worthlessness, + she felt almost daily, for almost daily some intricacy or embarrassment + made her miss his assistance: and though glad, since she found him so + undeserving, that she had escaped the snares he had spread for her, she + grieved much that she knew no man of honest character and equal abilities, + that would care for her sufficiently to supply his place in her + confidence. + </p> + <p> + As she was situated at present, she could think only of Mr Belfield to + whom she could apply for any advice. Nor even to him was the application + unexceptionable, the calumnies of Mr Delvile senior making it disagreeable + to her even to see him. But he was at once a man of the world and a man of + honour; he was the friend of Mortimer, whose confidence in him was great, + and his own behaviour had uniformly shewn a respect far removed from + impertinence or vanity, and a mind superior to being led to them by the + influence of his gross mother. She had, indeed, when she last quitted his + house, determined never to re-enter it; but determinations hasty or + violent, are rarely observed, because rarely practicable; she had promised + Henrietta to inform Mrs Belfield whither she was gone, and reconcile her + to the absence she still hoped to make from home. She concluded, + therefore, to go to Portland-street without delay, and enquire openly and + at once whether, and when, she might speak with Mr Belfield; resolving, if + tormented again by any forward insinuations, to rectify all mistakes by + acknowledging her marriage. + </p> + <p> + She gave directions accordingly to the post-boy and Ralph. + </p> + <p> + With respect to her own lodgings while in town, as money was no longer + unimportant to her, she meant from the Belfields to go to the Hills, by + whom she might be recommended to some reputable and cheap place. To the + Belfields, however, though very late when she arrived in town, she went + first, unwilling to lose a moment in promoting her scheme of going abroad. + </p> + <p> + She left her maid in the chaise, and sent Ralph on to Mrs Hill, with + directions to endeavour immediately to procure her a lodging. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0026" id="link2HCH0026"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER vi. — A PRATING. + </h2> + <p> + Cecilia was shewn into a parlour, where Mrs Belfield was very earnestly + discoursing with Mr Hobson and Mr Simkins; and Belfield himself, to her + great satisfaction, was already there, and reading. + </p> + <p> + “Lack a-day!” cried Mrs Belfield, “if one does not always see the people + one's talking of! Why it was but this morning, madam, I was saying to Mr + Hobson, I wonder, says I, a young lady of such fortunes as Miss Beverley + should mope herself up so in the country! Don't you remember it, Mr + Hobson?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, madam,” answered Mr Hobson, “but I think, for my part, the young + lady's quite in the right to do as she's a mind; for that's what I call + living agreeable: and if I was a young lady to-morrow, with such fine + fortunes, and that, it's just what I should do myself: for what I say is + this: where's the joy of having a little money, and being a little matter + above the world, if one has not one's own will?” + </p> + <p> + “Ma'am,” said Mr Simkins, who had scarce yet raised his head from the + profoundness of his bow upon Cecilia's entrance into the room, “if I may + be so free, may I make bold just for to offer you this chair?” + </p> + <p> + “I called, madam,” said Cecilia, seizing the first moment in her power to + speak, “in order to acquaint you that your daughter, who is perfectly + well, has made a little change in her situation, which she was anxious you + should hear from myself.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha! ha! stolen a match upon you, I warrant!” cried the facetious Mr + Hobson; “a good example for you, young lady; and if you take my advice, + you won't be long before you follow it; for as to a lady, let her be worth + never so much, she's a mere nobody, as one may say, till she can get + herself a husband, being she knows nothing of business, and is made to pay + for every thing through the nose.” + </p> + <p> + “Fie, Mr Hobson, fie!” said Mr Simkins, “to talk so slighting of the + ladies before their faces! what one says in a corner, is quite of another + nature; but for to talk so rude in their company,—I thought you + would scorn to do such a thing.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir, I don't want to be rude no more than yourself,” said Mr Hobson, “for + what I say is, rudeness is a thing that makes nobody agreeable; but I + don't see because of that, why a man is not to speak his mind to a lady as + well as to a gentleman, provided he does it in a complaisant fashion.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr Hobson,” cried Mrs Belfield, very impatiently, “you might as well let + <i>me</i> speak, when the matter is all about my own daughter.” + </p> + <p> + “I ask pardon, ma'am,” said he, “I did not mean to stop you; for as to not + letting a lady speak, one might as well tell a man in business not to look + at the Daily Advertiser; why, it's morally impossible!” + </p> + <p> + “But sure, madam,” cried Mrs Belfield, “it's no such thing? You can't have + got her off already?” + </p> + <p> + “I would I had!” thought Cecilia; who then explained her meaning; but in + talking of Mrs Harrel, avoided all mention of Mr Arnott, well foreseeing + that to hear such a man existed, and was in the same house with her + daughter, would be sufficient authority to her sanguine expectations, for + depending upon a union between them, and reporting it among her friends, + his circumstance being made clear, Cecilia added, “I could by no means + have consented voluntarily to parting so soon with Miss Belfield, but that + my own affairs call me at present out of the kingdom.” And then, + addressing herself to Belfield, she enquired if he could recommend to her + a trusty foreign servant, who would be hired only for the time she was to + spend abroad? + </p> + <p> + While Belfield was endeavouring to recollect some such person, Mr Hobson + eagerly called out “As to going abroad, madam, to be sure you're to do as + you like, for that, as I say, is the soul of every thing; but else I can't + say it's a thing I much approve; for my notion is this: here's a fine + fortune, got as a man may say, out of the bowels of one's mother country, + and this fine fortune, in default of male issue, is obliged to come to a + female, the law making no proviso to the contrary. Well, this female, + going into a strange country, naturally takes with her this fortune, by + reason it's the main article she has to depend upon; what's the upshot? + why she gets pilfered by a set of sharpers that never saw England in their + lives, and that never lose sight of her till she has not a sous in the + world. But the hardship of the thing is this: when it's all gone, the lady + can come back, but will the money come back?—No, you'll never see it + again: now this is what I call being no true patriot.” + </p> + <p> + “I am quite ashamed for to hear you talk so, Mr Hobson!” cried Mr Simkins, + affecting to whisper; “to go for to take a person to task at this rate, is + behaving quite unbearable; it's enough to make the young lady afraid to + speak before you.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, Mr Simkins,” answered Mr Hobson, “truth is truth, whether one speaks + it or not; and that, ma'am, I dare say, a young lady of your good sense + knows as well as myself.” + </p> + <p> + “I think, madam,” said Belfield, who waited their silence with great + impatience, “that I know just such a man as you will require, and one upon + whose honesty I believe you may rely.” + </p> + <p> + “That's more,” said Mr Hobson, “than I would take upon me to say for any + <i>Englishman</i>! where you may meet with such a <i>Frenchman</i>, I + won't be bold to say.” + </p> + <p> + “Why indeed,” said Mr Simkins, “if I might take the liberty for to put in, + though I don't mean in no shape to go to contradicting the young + gentleman, but if I was to make bold to speak my private opinion upon the + head, I should be inclinable for to say, that as to putting a dependance + upon the French, it's a thing quite dubious how it may turn out.” + </p> + <p> + “I take it as a great favour, ma'am,” said Mrs Belfield, “that you have + been so complaisant as to make me this visit to-night, for I was almost + afraid you would not have done me the favour any more; for, to be sure, + when you was here last, things went a little unlucky: but I had no notion, + for my part, who the old gentleman was till after he was gone, when Mr + Hobson told me it was old Mr Delvile: though, sure enough, I thought it + rather upon the extraordinary order, that he should come here into my + parlour, and make such a secret of his name, on purpose to ask me + questions about my own son.” + </p> + <p> + “Why I think, indeed, if I may be so free,” said Mr Simkins, “it was + rather petickeler of the gentleman; for, to be sure, if he was so over + curious to hear about your private concerns, the genteel thing, if I may + take the liberty for to differ, would have been for him to say, ma'am, + says he, I'm come to ask the favour of you just to let me a little into + your son's goings on; and any thing, ma'am, you should take a fancy for to + ask me upon the return, why I shall be very compliable, ma'am, says he, to + giving of you satisfaction.” + </p> + <p> + “I dare say,” answered Mrs Belfield, “he would not have said so much if + you'd have gone down on your knees to ask him. Why he was upon the very + point of being quite in a passion because I only asked him his name! + though what harm that could do him, I'm sure I never could guess. However, + as he was so mighty inquisitive about my son, if I had but known who he + was in time, I should have made no scruple in the world to ask him if he + could not have spoke a few words for him to some of those great people + that could have done him some good. But the thing that I believe put him + so out of humour, was my being so unlucky as to say, before ever I knew + who he was, that I had heard he was not over and above good-natured; for I + saw he did not seem much to like it at the time.” + </p> + <p> + “If he had done the generous thing,” said Mr Simkins, “it would have been + for him to have made the proffer of his services of his own free-will; and + it's rather surpriseable to me he should never have thought of it; for + what could be so natural as for him to say, I see, ma'am, says he, you've + got a very likely young gentleman here, that's a little out of cash, says + he, so I suppose, ma'am, says he, a place, or a pension, or something in + that shape of life, would be no bad compliment, says he.” + </p> + <p> + “But no such good luck as that will come to my share,” cried Mrs Belfield, + “I can tell you that, for every thing I want to do goes quite contrary. + Who would not have thought such a son as mine, though I say it before his + face, could not have made his fortune long ago, living as he did, among + all the great folks, and dining at their table just like one of + themselves? yet, for all that, you see they let him go on his own way, and + think of him no more than of nobody! I'm sure they might be ashamed to + shew their faces, and so I should tell them at once, if I could but get + sight of them.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't mean, ma'am,” said Mr Simkins, “for to be finding fault with what + you say, for I would not be unpelite in no shape; but if I might be so + free as for to differ a little bit, I must needs say I am rather for going + to work in anotherguess sort of a manner; and if I was as you—” + </p> + <p> + “Mr Simkins,” interrupted Belfield, “we will settle this matter another + time.” And then, turning to the wearied Cecilia, “The man, madam,” he + said, “whom I have done myself the honour to recommend to you, I can see + to-morrow morning; may I then tell him to wait upon you?” + </p> + <p> + “I ask pardon for just putting in,” cried Mr Simkins, before Cecilia could + answer, and again bowing down to the ground, “but I only mean to say I had + no thought for to be impertinent, for as to what I was agoing to remark, + is was not of no consequence in the least.” + </p> + <p> + “Its a great piece of luck, ma'am,” said Mrs Belfield, “that you should + happen to come here, of a holiday! If my son had not been at home, I + should have been ready to cry for a week: and you might come any day the + year through but a Sunday, and not meet with him any more than if he had + never a home to come to.” + </p> + <p> + “If Mr Belfield's home-visits are so periodical,” said Cecilia, “it must + be rather less, than more, difficult to meet with him.” + </p> + <p> + “Why you know, ma'am,” answered Mrs Belfield, “to-day is a red-letter day, + so that's the reason of it.” + </p> + <p> + “A red-letter day?” + </p> + <p> + “Good lack, madam, why have not you heard that my son is turned + book-keeper?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, much surprised, looked at Belfield, who, colouring very high, and + apparently much provoked by his mother's loquacity, said, “Had Miss + Beverley not heard it even now, madam, I should probably have lost with + her no credit.” + </p> + <p> + “You can surely lose none, Sir,” answered Cecilia, “by an employment too + little pleasant to have been undertaken from any but the most laudable + motives.” + </p> + <p> + “It is not, madam, the employment,” said he, “for which I so much blush as + for the person employed—for <i>myself</i>! In the beginning of the + winter you left me just engaged in another business, a business with which + I was madly delighted, and fully persuaded I should be enchanted for ever;—now, + again, in the beginning of the summer,—you find me, already, in a + new occupation!” + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry,” said Cecilia, “but far indeed from surprised, that you found + yourself deceived by such sanguine expectations.” + </p> + <p> + “Deceived!” cried he, with energy, “I was bewitched, I was infatuated! + common sense was estranged by the seduction of a chimera; my understanding + was in a ferment from the ebullition of my imagination! But when this new + way of life lost its novelty,—novelty! that short-liv'd, but + exquisite bliss! no sooner caught than it vanishes, no sooner tasted than + it is gone! which charms but to fly, and comes but to destroy what it + leaves behind!—when that was lost, reason, cool, heartless reason, + took its place, and teaching me to wonder at the frenzy of my folly, + brought me back to the tameness—the sadness of reality!” + </p> + <p> + “I am sure,” cried Mrs Belfield, “whatever it has brought you back to, it + has brought you back to no good! it's a hard case, you must needs think, + madam, to a mother, to see a son that might do whatever he would, if he'd + only set about it, contenting himself with doing nothing but scribble and + scribe one day, and when he gets tired of that, thinking of nothing better + than casting up two and two!” + </p> + <p> + “Why, madam,” said Mr Hobson, “what I have seen of the world is this; + there's nothing methodizes a man but business. If he's never so much upon + the stilts, that's always a sure way to bring him down, by reason he soon + finds there's nothing to be got by rhodomontading. Let every man be his + own carver; but what I say is, them gentlemen that are what one may call + geniuses, commonly think nothing of the main chance, till they get a tap + on the shoulder with a writ; and a solid lad, that knows three times five + is fifteen, will get the better of them in the long run. But as to arguing + with gentlemen of that sort, where's the good of it? You can never bring + them to the point, say what you will; all you can get from them, is a + farrago of fine words, that you can't understand without a dictionary.” + </p> + <p> + “I am inclinable to think,” said Mr Simkins, “that the young gentleman is + rather of opinion to like pleasure better than business; and, to be sure, + it's very excusable of him, because it's more agreeabler. And I must needs + say, if I may be so free, I'm partly of the young gentleman's mind, for + business is a deal more trouble.” + </p> + <p> + “I hope, however,” said Cecilia to Belfield, “your present situation is + less irksome to you?” + </p> + <p> + “Any situation, madam, must be less irksome than that which I quitted: to + write by rule, to compose by necessity, to make the understanding, + nature's first gift, subservient to interest, that meanest offspring of + art!—when weary, listless, spiritless, to rack the head for + invention, the memory for images, and the fancy for ornament and illusion; + and when the mind is wholly occupied by its own affections and affairs, to + call forth all its faculties for foreign subjects, uninteresting + discussions, or fictitious incidents!—Heavens! what a life of + struggle between the head and the heart! how cruel, how unnatural a war + between the intellects and the feelings!” + </p> + <p> + “As to these sort of things,” said Mr Hobson, “I can't say I am much + versed in them, by reason they are things I never much studied; but if I + was to speak my notion, it is this; the best way to thrive in the world is + to get money; but how is it to be got? Why by business: for business is to + money, what fine words are to a lady, a sure road to success. Now I don't + mean by this to be censorious upon the ladies, being they have nothing + else to go by, for as to examining if a man knows any thing of the world, + and that, they have nothing whereby to judge, knowing nothing of it + themselves. So that when they are taken in by rogues and sharpers, the + fault is all in the law, for making no proviso against their having money + in their own hands. Let every one be trusted according to their headpiece + and what I say is this: a lady in them cases is much to be pitied, for she + is obligated to take a man upon his own credit, which is tantamount to no + credit at all, being what man will speak an ill word of himself? you may + as well expect a bad shilling to cry out don't take me! That's what I say, + and that's my way of giving my vote.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, quite tired of these interruptions, and impatient to be gone, now + said to Belfield, “I should be much obliged to you, Sir, if you could send + to me the man you speak of tomorrow morning. I wished, also to consult you + with regard to the route I ought to take. My purpose is to go to Nice, and + as I am very desirous to travel expeditiously, you may perhaps be able to + instruct me what is the best method for me to pursue.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, Mr Hobson and Mr Simkins,” cried Mrs Belfield, with a look of much + significance and delight, “suppose you two and I was to walk into the next + room? There's no need for us to hear all the young lady may have a mind to + say.” + </p> + <p> + “She has nothing to say, madam,” cried Cecilia, “that the whole world may + not hear. Neither is it my purpose to talk, but to listen, if Mr Belfield + is at leisure to favour me with his advice.” + </p> + <p> + “I must always be at leisure, and always be proud, madam,” Belfield began, + when Hobson, interrupting him, said, “I ask pardon, Sir, for intruding, + but I only mean to wish the young lady good night. As to interfering with + business, that's not my way, for it's not the right method, by reason—” + </p> + <p> + “We will listen to your reason, Sir,” cried Belfield, “some other time; at + present we will give you all credit for it unheard.” + </p> + <p> + “Let every man speak his own maxim, Sir,” cried Hobson; “for that's what I + call fair arguing: but as to one person's speaking, and then making an + answer for another into the bargain, why it's going to work no-how; you + may as well talk to a counter, and think because you make a noise upon it + with your own hand, it gives you the reply.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, Mr Hobson,” cried Mrs Belfield, “I am quite ashamed of you for being + so dull! don't you see my son has something to say to the lady that you + and I have no business to be meddling with?” + </p> + <p> + “I'm sure, ma'am, for my part,” said Mr Simkins, “I'm very agreeable to + going away, for as to putting the young lady to the blush, it's what I + would not do in no shape.” + </p> + <p> + “I only mean,” said Mr Hobson, when he was interrupted by Mrs Belfield, + who, out of all patience, now turned him out of the room by the shoulders, + and, pulling Mr Simkins after, followed herself, and shut the door, though + Cecilia, much provoked, desired she would stay, and declared repeatedly + that all her business was public. + </p> + <p> + Belfield, who had, looked ready to murder them all during this short + scene, now approached Cecilia, and with an air of mingled spirit and + respect, said, “I am much grieved, much confounded, madam, that your ears + should be offended by speeches so improper to reach them; yet if it is + possible I can have the honour of being of any use to you, in me, still, I + hope, you feel you may confide. I am too distant from you in situation to + give you reason to apprehend I can form any sinister views in serving you; + and, permit me to add, I am too near you in mind, ever to give you the + pain of bidding me remember that distance.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then, extremely unwilling to shock a sensibility not more generous + than jealous, determined to continue her enquiries, and, at the same time, + to prevent any further misapprehension, by revealing her actual situation. + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry, Sir,” she answered, “to have occasioned this disturbance; Mrs + Belfield, I find, is wholly unacquainted with the circumstance which now + carries me abroad, or it would not have happened.” + </p> + <p> + Here a little noise in the passage interrupting her, she heard Mrs + Belfield, though in a low voice, say, “Hush, Sir, hush! you must not come + in just now; you've caught me, I confess, rather upon the listening order; + but to tell you the truth, I did not know what might be going forward. + However, there's no admittance now, I assure you, for my son's upon + particular business with a lady, and Mr Hobson and Mr Simkins and I, have + all been as good as turned out by them but just now.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia and Belfield, though they heard this speech with mutual + indignation, had no time to mark or express it, as it was answered without + in a voice at once loud and furious, “<i>You</i>, madam, may be content to + listen here; pardon me if I am less humbly disposed!” And the door was + abruptly opened by young Delvile! + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who half screamed from excess of astonishment, would scarcely, + even by the presence of Belfield and his mother, have been restrained from + flying to meet him, had his own aspect invited such a mark of tenderness; + but far other was the case; when the door was open, he stopt short with a + look half petrified, his feet seeming rooted to the spot upon which they + stood. + </p> + <p> + “I declare I ask pardon, ma'am,” cried Mrs Belfield, “but the interruption + was no fault of mine, for the gentleman would come in; and—” + </p> + <p> + “It is no interruption, madam;” cried Belfield, “Mr Delvile does me + nothing but honour.” + </p> + <p> + “I thank you, Sir!” said Delvile, trying to recover and come forward, but + trembling violently, and speaking with the most frigid coldness. + </p> + <p> + They were then, for a few instants, all silent; Cecilia, amazed by his + arrival, still more amazed by his behaviour, feared to speak lest he meant + not, as yet, to avow his marriage, and felt a thousand apprehensions that + some new calamity had hurried him home: while Belfield was both hurt by + his strangeness, and embarrassed for the sake of Cecilia; and his mother, + though wondering at them all, was kept quiet by her son's looks. + </p> + <p> + Delvile then, struggling for an appearance of more ease, said, “I seem to + have made a general confusion here:—pray, I beg”— + </p> + <p> + “None at all, Sir,” said Belfield, and offered a chair to Cecilia. + </p> + <p> + “No, Sir,” she answered, in a voice scarce audible, “I was just going.” + And again rang the bell. + </p> + <p> + “I fear I hurry you, madam?” cried Delvile, whose whole frame was now + shaking with uncontrollable emotion; “you are upon business—I ought + to beg your pardon—my entrance, I believe, was unseasonable.”— + </p> + <p> + “Sir!” cried she, looking aghast at this speech. + </p> + <p> + “I should have been rather surprised,” he added, “to have met you here, so + late,—so unexpectedly,—so deeply engaged—had I not + happened to see your servant in the street, who told me the honour I + should be likely to have by coming.” + </p> + <p> + “Good God!—” exclaimed she, involuntarily; but, checking herself as + well as she could, she courtsied to Mrs Belfield, unable to speak to her, + and avoiding even to look at Belfield, who respectfully hung back, she + hastened out of the room: accompanied by Mrs Belfield, who again began the + most voluble and vulgar apologies for the intrusion she had met with. + </p> + <p> + Delvile also, after a moment's pause, followed, saying, “Give me leave, + madam, to see you to your carriage.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then, notwithstanding Mrs Belfield still kept talking, could no + longer refrain saying, “Good heaven, what does all this mean?” + </p> + <p> + “Rather for <i>me</i> is that question,” he answered, in such agitation he + could not, though he meant it, assist her into the chaise, “for mine, I + believe, is the greater surprise!” + </p> + <p> + “What surprise?” cried she, “explain, I conjure you!” + </p> + <p> + “By and bye I will,” he answered; “go on postilion.” + </p> + <p> + “Where, Sir?” + </p> + <p> + “Where you came from, I suppose.” + </p> + <p> + “What, Sir, back to Rumford?” + </p> + <p> + “Rumford!” exclaimed he, with encreasing disorder, “you came then from + Suffolk hither?—from Suffolk to this very house?” + </p> + <p> + “Good heaven!” cried Cecilia, “come into the chaise, and let me speak and + hear to be understood!” + </p> + <p> + “Who is that now in it?” + </p> + <p> + “My Maid.” + </p> + <p> + “Your maid?—and she waits for you thus at the door?”— + </p> + <p> + “What, what is it you mean?” + </p> + <p> + “Tell the man, madam, whither to go.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't know myself—any where you please—do you order him.” + </p> + <p> + “I order him!—you came not hither to receive orders from <i>me</i>!—where + was it you had purposed to rest?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't know—I meant to go to Mrs Hill's—I have no place + taken.”— + </p> + <p> + “No place taken!” repeated he, in a voice faultering between passion and + grief; “you purposed, then, to stay here?—I have perhaps driven you + away?” + </p> + <p> + “Here!” cried Cecilia, mingling, in her turn, indignation with surprise, + “gracious heaven! what is it you mean to doubt?” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing!” cried he, with emphasis, “I never have had, I never <i>will</i> + have a doubt! I will know, I will have <i>conviction</i> for every thing! + Postilion, drive to St James's-square!—to Mr Delvile's. There, + madam, I will wait upon you.” + </p> + <p> + “No! stay, postilion!” called out Cecilia, seized with terror + inexpressible; “let me get out, let me speak with you at once!” + </p> + <p> + “It cannot be; I will follow you in a few minutes—drive on, + postilion!” + </p> + <p> + “No, no!—I will not go—I dare not leave you—unkind + Delvile!—what is it you suspect.” + </p> + <p> + “Cecilia,” cried he, putting his hand upon the chaise-door, “I have ever + believed you spotless as an angel! and, by heaven! I believe you so still, + in spite of appearances—in defiance of every thing!—Now then + be satisfied;—I will be with you very soon. Meanwhile, take this + letter, I was just going to send to you.—Postilion, drive on, or be + at your peril!” + </p> + <p> + The man waited no further orders, nor regarded the prohibition of Cecilia, + who called out to him without ceasing; but he would not listen to her till + he got to the end of the street; he then stopt, and she broke the seal of + her letter, and read, by the light of the lamps, enough to let her know + that Delvile had written it upon the road from Dover to London, to + acquaint her his mother was now better, and had taken pity of his suspense + and impatience, and insisted upon his coming privately to England, to + satisfy himself fully about Mr Monckton, communicate his marriage to his + father, and give those orders towards preparing for its being made public, + which his unhappy precipitation in leaving the kingdom had prevented. + </p> + <p> + This letter, which, though written but a few hours before she received it, + was full of tenderness, gratitude and anxiety for her happiness, instantly + convinced her that his strange behaviour had been wholly the effect of a + sudden impulse of jealousy; excited by so unexpectedly finding her in + town, at the very house where his father had assured him she had an + improper connexion, and alone, so suspiciously, with the young man + affirmed to be her favourite. He knew nothing of the ejectment, nothing of + any reason for her leaving Suffolk, every thing had the semblance of no + motive but to indulge a private and criminal inclination. + </p> + <p> + These thoughts, which confusedly, yet forcibly, rushed upon her mind, + brought with them at once an excuse for his conduct, and an alarm for his + danger; “He must think,” she cried, “I came to town only to meet Mr + Belfield!” then, opening the chaise-door herself, she jumpt out, and ran + back into Portland-street, too impatient to argue with the postilion to + return with her, and stopt not till she came to Mrs Belfield's house. + </p> + <p> + She knocked at the door with violence; Mrs Belfield came to it herself; + “Where,” cried she, hastily entering as she spoke, “are the gentlemen?” + </p> + <p> + “Lack-a-day! ma'am,” answered Mrs Belfield, “they are both gone out.” + </p> + <p> + “Gone out?—where to?—which way?” + </p> + <p> + “I am sure I can't tell, ma'am, no more than you can; but I am sadly + afraid they'll have a quarrel before they've done.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh heaven!” cried Cecilia, who now doubted not a second duel, “tell me, + shew me, which way they went?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, ma'am, to let you into the secret,” answered Mrs Belfield, “only I + beg you'll take no notice of it to my son, but, seeing them so much out of + sorts, I begged the favour of Mr Simkins, as Mr Hobson was gone out to his + club, just to follow them, and see what they were after.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia was much rejoiced this caution had been taken, and determined to + wait his return. She would have sent for the chaise to follow her; but Mrs + Belfield kept no servant, and the maid of the house was employed in + preparing the supper. + </p> + <p> + When Mr Simkins came back, she learnt, after various interruptions from + Mrs Belfield, and much delay from his own slowness and circumlocution, + that he had pursued the two gentlemen to the * * coffee-house. + </p> + <p> + She hesitated not a moment in resolving to follow them: she feared the + failure of any commission, nor did she know whom to entrust with one: and + the danger was too urgent for much deliberation. She begged, therefore, + that Mr. Simkins would walk with her to the chaise; but hearing that the + coffee-house was another way, she desired Mrs Belfield to let the servant + run and order it to Mrs Roberts, in Fetterlane, and then eagerly requested + Mr Simkins to accompany her on foot till they met with an hackney-coach. + </p> + <p> + They then set out, Mr Simkins feeling proud and happy in being allowed to + attend her, while Cecilia, glad of any protection, accepted his offer of + continuing with her, even after she met with an hackney-coach. + </p> + <p> + When she arrived at the coffee-house, she ordered the coachman to desire + the master of it to come and speak with her. + </p> + <p> + He came, and she hastily called out, “Pray, are two gentlemen here?” + </p> + <p> + “Here are several gentlemen here, madam.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, yes,—but are two upon any business—any particular + business—” + </p> + <p> + “Two gentlemen, madam, came about half an hour ago, and asked for a room + to themselves.” + </p> + <p> + “And where are they now?—are they up stairs?—down stairs?—where + are they?” + </p> + <p> + “One of them went away in about ten minutes, and the other soon after.” + </p> + <p> + Bitterly chagrined and disappointed, she knew not what step to take next; + but, after some consideration, concluded upon obeying Delvile's own + directions, and proceeding to St James's-square, where alone, now, she + seemed to have any chance of meeting with him. Gladly, however, she still + consented to be accompanied by Mr Simkins, for her dread of being alone, + at so late an hour, in an hackney-coach, was invincible. Whether Delvile + himself had any authority for directing her to his father's, or whether, + in the perturbation of his new—excited and agonising sensations of + jealousy, he had forgotten that any authority was necessary, she knew not; + nor could she now interest herself in the doubt: a second scene, such as + had so lately passed with Mr Monckton, occupied all her thoughts: she knew + the too great probability that the high spirit of Belfield would disdain + making the explanation which Delvile in his present agitation might + require, and the consequence of such a refusal must almost inevitably be + fatal. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0027" id="link2HCH0027"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER vii. — A PURSUIT. + </h2> + <p> + The moment the porter came to the door, Cecilia eagerly called out from + the coach, “Is Mr Delvile here?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, madam,” he answered, “but I believe he is engaged.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh no matter for any engagement!” cried she, “on the door,—I must + speak to him this moment!” + </p> + <p> + “If you will please to step into the parlour, madam, I will tell his + gentleman you are here; but he will be much displeased if he is disturbed + without notice.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah heaven!” exclaimed she, “what Mr Delvile are you talking of?” + </p> + <p> + “My master, madam.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who had got out of the coach, now hastily returned to it, and was + some time in too great agony to answer either the porter, who desired some + message, or the coachman, who asked whither he was to drive. To see Mr + Delvile, unprotected by his son, and contrary to his orders, appeared to + her insupportable; yet to what place could she go? where was she likely to + meet with Delvile? how could he find her if she went to Mrs Hill's? and in + what other house could she at present claim admittance? + </p> + <p> + After a little recovering from this cruel shock, she ventured, though in a + faultering voice, to enquire whether young Mr Delvile had been there? + </p> + <p> + “Yes, madam,” the porter answered; “we thought he was abroad, but he + called just now, and asked if any lady had been at the house. He would not + even stay to go up to my master, and we have not dared tell him of his + arrival.” + </p> + <p> + This a little revived her; to hear that he had actually been enquiring for + her, at least assured her of his safety from any immediate violence, and + she began to hope she might now possibly meet with him time enough to + explain all that had past in his absence, and occasioned her seemingly + strange and suspicious situation at Belfield's. She compelled herself, + therefore, to summon courage for seeing his father, since, as he had + directed her to the house, she concluded he would return there to seek + her, when he had wandered elsewhere to no purpose. + </p> + <p> + She then, though with much timidity and reluctance, sent a message to Mr + Delvile to entreat a moment's audience. + </p> + <p> + An answer was brought her that he saw no company so late at night. + </p> + <p> + Losing now all dread of his reproaches, in her superior dread of missing + Delvile, she called out earnestly to the man, “Tell him, Sir, I beseech + him not to refuse me! tell him I have something to communicate that + requires his immediate attention!” + </p> + <p> + The servant obeyed; but soon returning, said his master desired him to + acquaint her he was engaged every moment he stayed in town, and must + positively decline seeing her. + </p> + <p> + “Go to him again,” cried the harassed Cecilia, “assure him I come not from + myself, but by the desire of one he most values: tell him I entreat but + permission to wait an hour in his house, and that I have no other place in + the world whither I can go!” + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile's own gentleman brought, with evident concern, the answer to + this petition; which was, that while the Honourable Mr Delvile was himself + alive, he thought the desire of any other person concerning his house, was + taking with him a very extraordinary liberty; and that he was now going to + bed, and had given orders to his servants to carry him no more messages + whatsoever, upon pain of instant dismission. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia now seemed totally destitute of all resource, and for a few + dreadful minutes, gave herself up to utter despondency: nor, when she + recovered her presence of mind, could she form any better plan than that + of waiting in the coach to watch the return of Delvile. + </p> + <p> + She told the coachman, therefore, to drive to a corner of the square, + begging Mr Simkins to have patience, which he promised with much + readiness, and endeavoured to give her comfort, by talking without + cessation. + </p> + <p> + She waited here near half an hour. She then feared the disappointment of + Delvile in not meeting her at first, had made him conclude she meant not + to obey his directions, and had perhaps urged him to call again upon + Belfield, whom he might fancy privy to her non-appearance. This was new + horror to her, and she resolved at all risks to drive to Portland-street, + and enquire if Belfield himself was returned home. Yet, lest they should + mutually be pursuing each other all night, she stopt again at Mr + Delvile's, and left word with the porter, that if young Mr Delvile should + come home, he would hear of the person he was enquiring for at Mrs + Roberts's in Fetter-lane. To Belfield's she did not dare to direct him; + and it was her intention, if there she procured no new intelligence, to + leave the same message, and then go to Mrs Roberts without further delay. + To make such an arrangement with a servant who knew not her connection + with his young master, was extremely repugnant to her; but the exigence + was too urgent for scruples, and there was nothing to which she would not + have consented, to prevent the fatal catastrophe she apprehended. + </p> + <p> + When she came to Belfield's, not daring to enter the house, she sent in Mr + Simkins, to desire that Mrs Belfield would be so good as to step to the + coach door. + </p> + <p> + “Is your son, madam,” she cried, eagerly, “come home? and is any body with + him?” + </p> + <p> + “No, ma'am; he has never once been across the threshold since that + gentleman took him out; and I am half out of my wits to think”— + </p> + <p> + “Has that gentleman,” interrupted Cecilia, “been here anymore?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, ma'am, that's what I was going to tell you; he came again just now, + and said”— + </p> + <p> + “Just now?—good heaven!—and which way is he gone?” + </p> + <p> + “Why he is after no good, I am afraid, for he was in a great passion, and + would hardly hear any thing I said.” + </p> + <p> + “Pray, pray answer me quick!—where, which way did he go?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, he asked me if I knew whither my son was come from the * * + coffee-house; why, says I, I'm sure I can't tell, for if it had not been + for Mr Simkins, I should not so much as have known he ever went to the * * + coffee-house; however, I hope he a'n't come away, because if he is, poor + Miss Beverley will have had all that trouble for nothing; for she's gone + after him in a prodigious hurry; and upon my only saying that, he seemed + quite beside himself, and said, if I don't meet with your son at the * * + coffee-house myself, pray, when he comes in, tell him I shall be highly + obliged to him to call there; and then he went away, in as great a pet as + ever you saw.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia listened to this account with the utmost terror and misery; the + suspicions of Delvile would now be aggravated, and the message he had left + for Belfield, would by him be regarded as a defiance. Again, however, to + the * * coffee-house she instantly ordered the coach, an immediate + explanation from herself seeming the only possible chance for preventing + the most horrible conclusion to this unfortunate and eventful evening. + </p> + <p> + She was still accompanied by Mr Simkins, and, but that she attended to + nothing he said, would not inconsiderably have been tormented by his + conversation. She sent him immediately into the coffee-room, to enquire if + either of the gentlemen were then in the house. + </p> + <p> + He returned to her with a waiter, who said, “One of them, madam, called + again just now, but he only stopt to write a note, which he left to be + given to the gentleman who came with him at first. He is but this moment + gone, and I don't think he can be at the bottom of the street.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh drive then, gallop after him!”—cried Cecilia; “coachman! go this + moment!” + </p> + <p> + “My horses are tired,” said the man, “they have been out all day, and they + will gallop no further, if I don't stop and give them a drink.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, too full of hope and impatience for this delay, forced open the + door herself, and without saying another word, jumped out of the carriage, + with intention to run down the street; but the coachman immediately + seizing her, protested she should not stir till he was paid. + </p> + <p> + In the utmost agony of mind at an hindrance by which she imagined Delvile + would be lost to her perhaps for ever, she put her hand in her pocket, in + order to give up her purse for her liberty; but Mr Simkins, who was making + a tiresome expostulation with the coachman, took it himself, and declaring + he would not see the lady cheated, began a tedious calculation of his + fare. + </p> + <p> + “O pay him any thing!” cried she, “and let us be gone! an instant's delay + may be fatal!” + </p> + <p> + Mr Simkins, too earnest to conquer the coachman to attend to her distress, + continued his prolix harangue concerning a disputed shilling, appealing to + some gathering spectators upon the justice of his cause; while his + adversary, who was far from sober, still held Cecilia, saying the coach + had been hired for the lady, and he would be paid by herself. + </p> + <p> + “Good God!” cried the agitated Cecilia,—“give him my purse at once!—give + him every thing he desires!”— + </p> + <p> + The coachman, at this permission, encreased his demands, and Mr Simkins, + taking the number of his coach, protested he would summons him to the + Court of Conscience the next morning. A gentleman, who then came out of + the coffee-house, offered to assist the lady, but the coachman, who still + held her arm, swore he would have his right. + </p> + <p> + “Let me go! let me pass!” cried she, with encreasing eagerness and + emotion; “detain me at your peril!—release me this moment—only + let me run to the end of the street,—good God! good Heaven! detain + me not for mercy!” + </p> + <p> + Mr Simkins, humbly desiring her not to be in haste, began a formal apology + for his conduct; but the inebriety of the coachman became evident; a mob + was collecting; Cecilia, breathless with vehemence and terror, was + encircled, yet struggled in vain to break away; and the stranger + gentleman, protesting, with sundry compliments, he would himself take care + of her, very freely seized her hand. + </p> + <p> + This moment, for the unhappy Cecilia, teemed with calamity; she was wholly + overpowered; terror for Delvile, horror for herself, hurry, confusion, + heat and fatigue, all assailing her at once, while all means of repelling + them were denied her, the attack was too strong for her fears, feelings, + and faculties, and her reason suddenly, yet totally failing her, she madly + called out, “He will be gone! he will be gone! and I must follow him to + Nice!” + </p> + <p> + The gentleman now retreated; but Mr Simkins, who was talking to the mob, + did not hear her; and the coachman, too much intoxicated to perceive her + rising frenzy, persisted in detaining her. + </p> + <p> + “I am going to France!” cried she, still more wildly, “why do you stop me? + he will die if I do not see him, he will bleed to death!” + </p> + <p> + The coachman, still unmoved, began to grow very abusive; but the stranger, + touched by compassion, gave up his attempted gallantry, and Mr Simkins, + much astonished, entreated her not to be frightened: she was, however, in + no condition to listen to him; with a strength hitherto unknown to her, + she forcibly disengaged herself from her persecutors; yet her senses were + wholly disordered; she forgot her situation, her intention, and herself; + the single idea of Delvile's danger took sole possession of her brain, + though all connection with its occasion was lost, and the moment she was + released, she fervently clasped her hands, exclaiming, “I will yet heal + his wound, even at the hazard of my life!” and springing forward, was + almost instantly out of sight. + </p> + <p> + Mr Simkins now, much alarmed, and earnestly calling after her, entered + into a compromise with the coachman, that he might attend her; but the + length of his negociation defeated its purpose, and before he was at + liberty to follow her, all trace was lost by which he might have overtaken + her. He stopt every passenger he met to make enquiries, but though they + led him on some way, they led him on in vain; and, after a useless and + ill-managed pursuit, he went quietly to his own home, determining to + acquaint Mrs Belfield with what had happened the next morning. + </p> + <p> + Mean while the frantic Cecilia escaped both pursuit and insult by the + velocity of her own motion. She called aloud upon Delvile as she flew to + the end of the street. No Delvile was there!—she turned the corner; + yet saw nothing of him; she still went on, though unknowing whither, the + distraction of her mind every instant growing greater, from the + inflammation of fatigue, heat, and disappointment. She was spoken to + repeatedly; she was even caught once or twice by her riding habit; but she + forced herself along by her own vehement rapidity, not hearing what was + said, nor heeding what was thought. Delvile, bleeding by the arm of + Belfield, was the image before her eyes, and took such full possession of + her senses, that still, as she ran on, she fancied it in view. She scarce + touched the ground; she scarce felt her own motion; she seemed as if + endued with supernatural speed, gliding from place to place, from street + to street; with no consciousness of any plan, and following no other + direction than that of darting forward where-ever there was most room, and + turning back when she met with any obstruction; till quite spent and + exhausted, she abruptly ran into a yet open shop, where, breathless and + panting, she sunk upon the floor, and, with a look disconsolate and + helpless, sat for some time without speaking. + </p> + <p> + The people of the house, concluding at first she was a woman of the town, + were going roughly to turn her out; but soon seeing their mistake, by the + evident distraction of her air and manner, they enquired of some idle + people who, late as it was, had followed her, if any of them knew who she + was, or whence she came? + </p> + <p> + They could give no account of her, but supposed she was broke loose from + Bedlam. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then, wildly starting up, exclaimed, “No, no,—I am not mad,—I + am going to Nice—to my husband.” + </p> + <p> + “She's quite crazy,” said the man of the house, who was a Pawn-Broker; “we + had better get rid of her before she grows mischievous—” + </p> + <p> + “She's somebody broke out from a private mad house, I dare say,” said a + man who had followed her into the shop; “and if you were to take care of + her a little while, ten to one but you'll get a reward for it.” + </p> + <p> + “She's a gentlewoman, sure enough,” said the mistress of the house, + “because she's got such good things on.” + </p> + <p> + And then, under pretence of trying to find some direction to her upon a + letter, or paper, she insisted upon searching her pockets: here, however, + she was disappointed in her expectations: her purse was in the custody of + Mr Simkins, but neither her terror nor distress had saved her from the + daring dexterity of villainy, and her pockets, in the mob, had been rifled + of whatever else they contained. The woman therefore hesitated some time + whether to take charge of her or, not: but being urged by the man who made + the proposal, and who said they might depend upon seeing her soon + advertised, as having escaped from her keepers, they ventured to undertake + her. + </p> + <p> + Mean while she endeavoured again to get out, calling aloud upon Delvile to + rescue her, but so wholly bereft of sense and recollection, she could give + no account who she was, whence she came, or whither she wished to go. + </p> + <p> + They then carried her up stairs, and attempted to make her lie down upon a + bed; but supposing she refused because it was not of straw, they desisted; + and, taking away the candle, locked the door, and all went to rest. + </p> + <p> + In this miserable condition, alone and raving, she was left to pass the + night! in the early part of it, she called upon Delvile without + intermission, beseeching him to come to her defence in one moment, and + deploring his death the next; but afterwards, her strength being wholly + exhausted by these various exertions and fatigues, she threw herself upon + the floor, and lay for some minutes quite still. Her head then began to + grow cooler, as the fever into which terror and immoderate exercise had + thrown her abated, and her memory recovered its functions. + </p> + <p> + This was, however, only a circumstance of horror to her: she found herself + shut up in a place of confinement, without light, without knowledge where + she was, and not a human being near her! + </p> + <p> + Yet the same returning reason which enabled her to take this view of her + own situation, brought also to her mind that in which she had left + Delvile;—under all the perturbation of new-kindled jealousy, just + calling upon Belfield,—Belfield, tenacious of his honour even more + than himself,—to satisfy doubts of which the very mention would be + received as a challenge! + </p> + <p> + “Oh yet, oh yet,” cried she, “let me fly and overtake them!—I may + find them before morning, and to-night it must surely have been too late + for this work of death!” + </p> + <p> + She then arose to feel for the door, and succeeded; but it was locked, and + no effort she could make enabled her to open it. + </p> + <p> + Her agony was unspeakable; she called out with violence upon the people of + the house, conjured them to set her at liberty, offered any reward for + their assistance, and threatened them with a prosecution if detained. + </p> + <p> + Nobody, however, came near her: some slept on notwithstanding all the + disturbance she could make, and others; though awakened by her cries, + concluded them the ravings of a mad woman, and listened not to what she + said. + </p> + <p> + Her head was by no means in a condition to bear this violence of distress; + every pulse was throbbing, every vein seemed bursting, her reason, so + lately returned, could not bear the repetition of such a shock, and from + supplicating for help with all the energy of feeling and understanding, + she soon continued the cry from mere vehemence of distraction. + </p> + <p> + Thus dreadfully passed the night; and in the morning, when the woman of + the house came to see after her, she found her raving with such frenzy, + and desperation, that her conscience was perfectly at ease in the + treatment she had given her, being now firmly satisfied she required the + strictest confinement. + </p> + <p> + She still, however, tried to get away; talked of Delvile without + cessation, said she should be too late to serve him, told the woman she + desired but to prevent murder, and repeatedly called out, “Oh beloved of + my heart! wait but a moment, and I will snatch thee from destruction!” + </p> + <p> + Mrs Wyers, this woman, now sought no longer to draw from her whence she + came, or who she was, but heard her frantic exclamations without any + emotion, contentedly concluding that her madness was incurable: and though + she was in a high fever, refused all sustenance, and had every symptom of + an alarming and dangerous malady, she was fully persuaded that her case + was that of decided insanity, and had not any notion of temporary or + accidental alienation of reason. + </p> + <p> + All she could think of by way of indulgence to her, was to bring her a + quantity of straw, having heard that mad people were fond of it; and + putting it in a heap in one corner of the room, she expected to see her + eagerly fly at it. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, however, distracted as she was, was eager for nothing but to + escape, which was constantly her aim, alike when violent or when quiet. + Mrs Wyers, finding this, kept her closely confined, and the door always + locked, whether absent or present. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0028" id="link2HCH0028"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER vii. — AN ENCOUNTER. + </h2> + <p> + Two whole days passed thus; no enquiries reached Mrs Wyers, and she found + in the news-papers no advertisement. Meanwhile Cecilia grew worse every + moment, tasted neither drink nor food, raved incessantly, called out + twenty times in a breath, “Where is he? which way is he gone?” and + implored the woman by the most pathetic remonstrances, to save her unhappy + Delvile, <i>dearer to her than life, more precious than peace or rest</i>! + </p> + <p> + At other times she talked of her marriage, of the displeasure of his + family, and of her own remorse; entreated the woman not to betray her, and + promised to spend the remnant of her days in the heaviness of sorrow and + contrition. + </p> + <p> + Again her fancy roved, and Mr Monckton took sole possession of it. She + reproached him for his perfidy, she bewailed that he was massacred, she + would not a moment out-live him, and wildly declared <i>her last remains + should moulder in his hearse</i>! And thus, though naturally and commonly + of a silent and quiet disposition, she was now not a moment still, for the + irregular starts of a terrified and disordered imagination, were changed + into the constant ravings of morbid delirium. + </p> + <p> + The woman, growing uneasy from her uncertainty of pay for her trouble, + asked the advice of some of her friends what was proper for her to do; and + they counselled her to put an advertisement into the papers herself the + next morning. + </p> + <p> + The following, therefore, was drawn up and sent to the printer of the + Daily Advertiser. + </p> + <p> + MADNESS. + </p> + <p> + Whereas a crazy young lady, tall, fair complexioned, with blue eyes and + light hair, ran into the Three Blue Balls, in——street, on + Thursday night, the 2nd instant, and has been kept there since out of + charity. She was dressed in a riding habit. Whoever she belongs to is + desired to send after her immediately. She has been treated with the + utmost care and tenderness. She talks much of some person by the name of + Delvile. + </p> + <p> + N.B.—She had no money about her. + </p> + <p> + May, 1780. + </p> + <p> + This had but just been sent off, when Mr Wyers, the man of the house, + coming up stairs, said, “Now we shall have two of them, for here's the + crazy old gentleman below, that says he has just heard in the + neighbourhood of what has happened to us, and he desires to see the poor + lady.” + </p> + <p> + “It's as well let him come up, then,” answered Mrs Wyers, “for he goes to + all sort of places and people, and ten to one but he'll bustle about till + he finds out who she is.” + </p> + <p> + Mr Wyers then went down stairs to send him up. + </p> + <p> + He came instantly. It was Albany, who in his vagrant rambles, having heard + an unknown mad lady was at this pawn-broker's, came, with his customary + eagerness to visit and serve the unhappy, to see what could be done for + her. + </p> + <p> + When he entered the room, she was sitting upon the bed, her eyes earnestly + fixed upon the window, from which she was privately indulging a wish to + make her escape. Her dress was in much disorder, her fine hair was + dishevelled, and the feathers of her riding hat were broken and half + falling down, some shading her face, others reaching to her shoulder. + </p> + <p> + “Poor lady!” cried Albany, approaching her, “how long has she been in this + state?” + </p> + <p> + She started at the sound of a new voice, she looked round,—but what + was the astonishment of Albany to see who it was!—He stept back,-he + came forward,—he doubted his own senses,—he looked at her + earnestly,—he turned from her to look at the woman of the house,—he + cast his eyes round the room itself, and then, lifting up his hands, “O + sight of woe!” he cried, “the generous and good! the kind reliever of + distress! the benign sustainer of misery!—is <i>This</i> Cecilia!”— + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, imperfectly recollecting, though not understanding him, sunk down + at his feet, tremblingly called out, “Oh, if he is yet to be saved, if + already he is not murdered,—go to him! fly after him! you will + presently overtake him, he is only in the next street, I left him there + myself, his sword drawn, and covered with human blood!” + </p> + <p> + “Sweet powers of kindness and compassion!” cried the old man, “look upon + this creature with pity! she who raised the depressed, she who cheared the + unhappy! she whose liberal hand turned lamentations into joy! who never + with a tearless eye could hear the voice of sorrow!—is <i>This</i> + she herself!—can <i>This</i> be Cecilia!” + </p> + <p> + “O do not wait to talk!” cried she, “go to him now, or you will never see + him more! the hand of death is on him,—cold, clay-cold is its touch! + he is breathing his last—Oh murdered Delvile! massacred husband of + my heart! groan not so piteously! fly to him, and weep over him!—fly + to him and pluck the poniard from his wounded bosom!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh sounds of anguish and horror!” cried the melted moralist, tears + running quick down his rugged cheeks; “melancholy indeed is this sight, + humiliating to morality! such is human strength, such human felicity!—weak + as our virtues, frail as our guilty natures!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” cried she, more wildly, “no one will save me now! I am married, and + no one will listen to me! ill were the auspices under which I gave my + hand! Oh it was a work of darkness, unacceptable and offensive! it has + been sealed, therefore, with blood, and to-morrow it will be signed with + murder!” + </p> + <p> + “Poor distracted creature!” exclaimed he, “thy pangs I have felt, but thy + innocence I have forfeited!—my own wounds bleed afresh,—my own + brain threatens new frenzy.”— + </p> + <p> + Then, starting up, “Good woman,” he added, “kindly attend her,—I + will seek out her friends, put her into bed, comfort, sooth, compose her.—I + will come to you again, and as soon as I can.” + </p> + <p> + He then hurried away. + </p> + <p> + “Oh hour of joy!” cried Cecilia, “he is gone to rescue him! oh blissful + moment! he will yet be snatched from slaughter!” + </p> + <p> + The woman lost not an instant in obeying the orders she had received; she + was put into bed, and nothing was neglected, as far as she had power and + thought, to give a look of decency and attention to her accommodations. + </p> + <p> + He had not left them an hour, when Mary, the maid who had attended her + from Suffolk, came to enquire for her lady. Albany, who was now wandering + over the town in search of some of her friends, and who entered every + house where he imagined she was known, had hastened to that of Mrs Hill + the first of any, as he was well acquainted with her obligations to + Cecilia; there, Mary herself, by the directions which her lady had given + Mrs Belfield, had gone; and there, in the utmost astonishment and + uneasiness, had continued till Albany brought news of her. + </p> + <p> + She was surprised and afflicted beyond measure, not only at the state of + her mind, and her health, but to find her in a bed and an apartment so + unsuitable to her rank of life, and so different to what she had ever been + accustomed. She wept bitterly while she enquired at the bed-side how her + lady did, but wept still more, when, without answering, or seeming to know + her, Cecilia started up, and called out, “I must be removed this moment! I + must go to St James's-square,—if I stay an instant longer, the + passing-bell will toll, and then how shall I be in time for the funeral?” + </p> + <p> + Mary, alarmed and amazed, turned hastily from her to the woman of the + house, who calmly said, the lady was only in a raving fit, and must not be + minded. + </p> + <p> + Extremely frightened at this intelligence, she entreated her to be quiet + and lie still. But Cecilia grew suddenly so violent, that force only could + keep her from rising; and Mary, unused to dispute her commands, prepared + to obey them. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Wyers now in her turn opposed in vain; Cecilia was peremptory, and + Mary became implicit, and, though not without much difficulty, she was + again dressed in her riding habit. This operation over, she moved towards + the door, the temporary strength of delirium giving, her a hardiness that + combated fever, illness, fatigue, and feebleness. Mary, however averse and + fearful, assisted her, and Mrs Wyers, compelled by the obedience of her + own servant, went before them to order a chair. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, however, felt her weakness when she attempted to move down + stairs; her feet tottered, and her head became dizzy; she leaned it + against Mary, who called aloud for more help, and made her sit down till + it came. Her resolution, however, was not to be altered; a stubbornness, + wholly foreign to her genuine character, now made her stern and positive; + and Mary, who thought her submission indispensable, cried, but did not + offer to oppose her. + </p> + <p> + Mr and Mrs Wyers both came up to assist in supporting her, and Mr Wyers + offered to carry her in his arms; but she would not consent; when she came + to the bottom of the stairs, her head grew worse, she again lent it upon + Mary, but Mr Wyers was obliged to hold them both. She still, however, was + firm in her determination, and was making another effort to proceed, when + Delvile rushed hastily into the shop. + </p> + <p> + He had just encountered Albany; who, knowing his acquaintance, though + ignorant of his marriage, with Cecilia, had informed him where to seek + her. + </p> + <p> + He was going to make enquiry if he was come to the right house, when he + perceived her,—feeble, shaking, leaning upon one person, and half + carried by another!—he started back, staggered, gasped for breath,—but + finding they were proceeding, advanced with trepidation, furiously calling + out, “Hold! stop!—what is it you are doing? Monsters of savage + barbarity, are you murdering my wife?” + </p> + <p> + The well-known voice no sooner struck the ears of Cecilia, than instantly + recollecting it, she screamed, and, is suddenly endeavouring to spring + forward, fell to the ground. + </p> + <p> + Delvile had vehemently advanced to catch her in his arms and save her + fall, which her unexpected quickness had prevented her attendants from + doing; but the sight of her changed complection, and the wildness of her + eyes and air, again made him start,—his blood froze through his + veins, and he stood looking at her, cold and almost petrified. + </p> + <p> + Her own recollection of him seemed lost already; and exhausted by the + fatigue she had gone through in dressing and coming down stairs, she + remained still and quiet, forgetting her design of proceeding, and forming + no new one for returning. + </p> + <p> + Mary, to whom, as to all her fellow servants, the marriage of Cecilia had + been known, before she left the country, now desired from Delvile + directions what was to be done. + </p> + <p> + Delvile, starting suddenly at this call from the deepest horror into the + most desperate rage, fiercely exclaimed, “Inhuman wretches! unfeeling, + execrable wretches, what is it you have done to her? how came she hither?—who + brought her?—who dragged her?—by what infamous usage has she + been sunk into this state?” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, sir, I don't know!” cried Mary. + </p> + <p> + “I assure you, sir,” said Mrs Wyers, “the lady—” + </p> + <p> + “Peace!” cried he, furiously, “I will not hear your falsehoods!—peace, + and begone!”— + </p> + <p> + Then, casting himself upon the ground by her side, “Oh my Cecilia,” he + cried, “where hast thou been thus long? how have I lost thee? what + dreadful calamity has befallen thee?—answer me, my love! raise your + sweet head and answer me!—oh speak!—say to me any thing; the + bitterest words will be mercy to this silence!”—- + </p> + <p> + Cecilia then, suddenly looking up, called out with great quickness, “Who + are you?” + </p> + <p> + “Who am I!” cried he, amazed and affrighted. + </p> + <p> + “I should be glad you would go away,” cried she, in a hurrying manner, + “for you are quite unknown to me.” + </p> + <p> + Delvile, unconscious of her insanity, and attributing to resentment this + aversion and repulse, hastily moved from her, mournfully answering, “Well + indeed may you disclaim me, refuse all forgiveness, load me with hatred + and reproach, and consign me to eternal anguish! I have merited severer + punishment still; I have behaved like a monster, and I am abhorrent to + myself!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia now, half rising, and regarding him with mingled terror and anger, + eagerly exclaimed, “If you do not mean to mangle and destroy me, begone + this instant.” + </p> + <p> + “To mangle you!” repeated Delvile, shuddering, “how horrible!—but I + deserve it!—look not, however, so terrified, and I will tear myself + away from you. Suffer me but to assist in removing you from this place, + and I will only watch you at a distance, and never see you more till you + permit me to approach you.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, why,” cried Cecilia, with a look of perplexity and impatience, “will + you not tell me your name, and where you come from?” + </p> + <p> + “Do you not know me?” said he, struck with new horror; “or do you only + mean to kill me by the question?” + </p> + <p> + “Do you bring me any message from Mr Monckton?” + </p> + <p> + “From Mr Monckton?—no; but he lives and will recover.” + </p> + <p> + “I thought you had been Mr Monckton yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “Too cruel, yet justly cruel Cecilia!—is then Delvile utterly + renounced?—the guilty, the unhappy Delvile!—is he cast off for + ever? have you driven him wholly from your heart? do you deny him even a + place in your remembrance?” + </p> + <p> + “Is your name, then, Delvile?” + </p> + <p> + “O what is it you mean? Is it me or my name you thus disown?” + </p> + <p> + “'Tis a name,” cried she, sitting up, “I well remember to have heard, and + once I loved it, and three times I called upon it in the dead of night. + And when I was cold and wretched, I cherished it; and when I was abandoned + and left alone, I repeated it and sung to it.” + </p> + <p> + “All-gracious powers!” cried Delvile, “her reason is utterly gone!” And, + hastily rising, he desperately added, “what is death to this blow?—Cecilia, + I am content to part with thee!” + </p> + <p> + Mary now, and Mrs Wyers, poured upon him eagerly an account of her + illness, and insanity, her desire of removal, and their inability to + control her. + </p> + <p> + Delvile, however, made no answer; he scarce heard them: the deepest + despair took possession of his mind, and, rooted to the spot where he + stood, he contemplated iii dreadful stillness the fallen and altered + object of his best hopes and affections; already in her faded cheeks and + weakened frame, his agonising terror read the quick impending destruction + of all his earthly happiness! the sight was too much for his fortitude, + and almost for his understanding; and when his woe became utterable, he + wrung his hands, and groaning aloud, called out, “Art thou gone so soon! + my wife! my Cecilia! have I lost thee already?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, with utter insensibility to what was passing, now suddenly, and + with a rapid yet continued motion, turned her head from side to side, her + eyes wildly glaring, and yet apparently regarding nothing. + </p> + <p> + “Dreadful! dreadful!” exclaimed Delvile, “what a sight is this!” and + turning from her to the people of the house, he angrily said, “why is she + here upon the floor? could you not even allow her a bed? Who attends her? + Who waits upon her? Why has nobody sent for help?—Don't answer me,—I + will not hear you, fly this moment for a physician,—bring two, bring + three—bring all you can find?” + </p> + <p> + Then, still looking from Cecilia, whose sight he could no longer support, + he consulted with Mary whither she should be conveyed: and, as the night + was far advanced, and no place was prepared for her elsewhere, they soon + agreed that she could only be removed up stairs. + </p> + <p> + Delvile now attempted to carry her in his arms; but trembling and + unsteady, he had not strength to sustain her; yet not enduring to behold + the helplessness he could not assist, he conjured them to be careful and + gentle, and, committing her to their trust, ran out himself for a + physician. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia resisted them with her utmost power, imploring them not to bury + her alive, and averring she had received intelligence they meant to entomb + her with Mr Monckton. + </p> + <p> + They put her, however, to bed, but her raving grew still more wild and + incessant. + </p> + <p> + Delvile soon returned with a physician, but had not courage to attend him + to her room. He waited for him at the foot of the stairs, where, hastily + stopping him, + </p> + <p> + “Well, sir,” he cried, “is it not all over? is it not impossible she can + live?” + </p> + <p> + “She is very ill, indeed, sir,” he answered, “but I have given directions + which perhaps—-” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Perhaps</i>!” interrupted Delvile, shuddering, “do not stab me with + such a word!” + </p> + <p> + “She is very delirious,” he continued, “but as her fever is very high, + that is not so material. If the orders I have given take effect, and the + fever is got under, all the rest will be well of course.” + </p> + <p> + He then went away; leaving Delvile as much thunderstruck by answers so + alarming, as if he had consulted him in full hope, and without even + suspicion of her danger. + </p> + <p> + The moment he recovered from this shock, he flew out of the house for more + advice. + </p> + <p> + He returned and brought with him two physicians. They confirmed the + directions already given, but would pronounce nothing decisively of her + situation. + </p> + <p> + Delvile, half mad with the acuteness of his misery, charged them all with + want of skill, and wrote instantly into the country for Dr Lyster. + </p> + <p> + He went out himself in search of a messenger to ride off express, though + it was midnight, with his letter; and then, returning, he was hastening to + her room, but, while yet at the door, hearing her still raving, his horror + conquered his eagerness, and, hurrying down stairs, he spent the remnant + of the long and seemingly endless night in the shop. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0029" id="link2HCH0029"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER ix. — A TRIBUTE. + </h2> + <p> + Mean while Cecilia went through very severe discipline, sometimes strongly + opposing it, at other times scarce sensible what was done to her. + </p> + <p> + The whole of the next day passed in much the same manner, neither did the + next night bring any visible alteration. She had now nurses and attendants + even more than sufficient, for Delvile had no relief but from calling in + more help. His terror of again seeing her encreased with his forbearance; + the interview which had already past had almost torn him asunder, and + losing all courage for attempting to enter her room, he now spent almost + all his time upon the stairs which led to it. Whenever she was still, he + seated himself at her chamber door, where, if he could hear her breathe or + move, a sudden hope of her recovery gave to him a momentary extasy that + recompensed all his sufferings. But the instant she spoke, unable to bear + the sound of so loved a voice uttering nothing but the incoherent ravings + of lightheadedness, he hastened down stairs, and flying out of the house, + walked in the neighbouring streets, till he could again gather courage to + enquire or to listen how she went on. + </p> + <p> + The following morning, however, Dr Lyster came, and every hope revived. He + flew to embrace him, told him instantly his marriage with Cecilia, and + besought him by some superior effort of his extraordinary abilities to + save him the distraction of her loss. + </p> + <p> + “My good friend,” cried the worthy Doctor, “what is this you ask of me? + and how can this poor young lady herself want advice more than you do? Do + you think these able physicians actually upon the spot, with all the + experience of full practice in London to assist their skill, want a petty + Doctor out of the country to come and teach them what is right?” + </p> + <p> + “I have more reliance upon you,” cried Delvile, than upon the whole + faculty; come, therefore, and prescribe for her,—take some new + course “— + </p> + <p> + “Impossible, my good Sir, impossible! I must not lose my wits from vanity, + because you have lost yours from affliction. I could not refuse to come to + you when you wrote to me with such urgency, and I will now go and see the + young lady, as a <i>friend</i>, with all my heart. I am sorry for you at + my soul, Mr Mortimer! She is a lovely young creature, and has an + understanding, for her years and sex, unequalled.” + </p> + <p> + “Never mention her to me!” cried the impatient Delvile, “I cannot bear it! + Go up to her, dear Doctor, and if you want a consultation, send, if you + please, for every physician in town.” + </p> + <p> + Dr Lyster desired only that those who had already attended might be + summoned; and then, giving up to his entreaties the accustomed ceremonial + of waiting for them, he went to Cecilia. + </p> + <p> + Delvile did not dare accompany him; and so well was he acquainted with his + plainness and sincerity, that though he expected his return with + eagerness, he no sooner heard him upon the stairs, than fearing to know + his opinion, he hastily snatched up his hat, and rushed vehemently out of + the house to avoid him. + </p> + <p> + He continued to walk about the streets, till even the dread of ill news + was less horrible to him than this voluntary suspense, and then he + returned to the house. + </p> + <p> + He found Dr Lyster in a small back parlour, which Mrs Wyers, finding she + should now be well paid, had appropriated for Delvile's use. + </p> + <p> + Delvile, putting his hand upon the Doctor's shoulder, said, “Well, my dear + Dr Lyster, <i>you</i>, still, I hope”— + </p> + <p> + “I would I could make you easy!” interrupted the Doctor; “yet, if you are + rational, one comfort, at all events, I can give you; the crisis seems + approaching, and either she will recover, or before to-morrow morning”—- + </p> + <p> + “Don't go on, Sir!” cried Delvile, with mingled rage and horror, “I will + not have her days limited! I sent not for you to give me such an account!” + </p> + <p> + And again he flew out of the house, leaving Dr Lyster unaffectedly + concerned for him, and too kind-hearted and too wise to be offended at the + injustice of immoderate sorrow. + </p> + <p> + In a few minutes, however, from the effect rather of despair than + philosophy, Delvile grew more composed, and waited upon Dr Lyster to + apologize for his behaviour. He received his hearty forgiveness, and + prevailed upon him to continue in town till the whole was decided. + </p> + <p> + About noon, Cecilia, from the wildest rambling and most perpetual + agitation, sunk suddenly into a state of such utter insensibility, that + she appeared unconscious even of her existence; and but that she breathed, + she might already have passed for being dead. + </p> + <p> + When Delvile heard this, he could no longer endure even his post upon the + stairs; he spent his whole time in wandering about the streets, or + stopping in Dr Lyster's parlour to enquire if all was over. + </p> + <p> + That humane physician, not more alarmed at the danger of Cecilia, than + grieved at the situation of Delvile, thought the present fearful crisis at + least offered an opportunity of reconciling him with his father. He + waited, therefore, upon that gentleman in St James's-square, and openly + informed him of the dangerous state of Cecilia, and the misery of his son. + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile, though he would gladly, to have annulled an alliance he held + disgraceful to his family, have received intelligence that Cecilia was no + more, was yet extremely disconcerted to hear of sufferings to which his + own refusal of an asylum he was conscious had largely contributed; and + after a haughty struggle between tenderness and wrath, he begged the + advice of Dr Lyster how his son might be drawn from such a scene. + </p> + <p> + Dr Lyster, who well knew Delvile was too desperate to be tractable, + proposed surprising him into an interview by their returning together: Mr + Delvile, however apprehensive and relenting, conceded most unwillingly to + a measure he held beneath him, and, when he came to the shop, could scarce + be persuaded to enter it. Mortimer, at that time, was taking a solitary + ramble; and Dr Lyster, to complete the work he had begun of subduing the + hard pride of his father, contrived, under pretence of waiting for him, to + conduct him to the room of the invalide. + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile, who knew not whither he was going, at first sight of the bed + and the attendants, was hastily retreating; but the changed and livid face + of Cecilia caught his eye, and, struck with sudden consternation, he + involuntarily stopt. + </p> + <p> + “Look at the poor young lady!” cried Dr Lyster; “can you wonder a sight + such as this should make Mr Mortimer forget every thing else?” + </p> + <p> + She was wholly insensible, but perfectly quiet; she seemed to distinguish + nothing, and neither spoke nor moved. + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile regarded her with the utmost horror: the refuge he so + implacably refused her on the night when her intellects were disordered, + he would now gladly have offered at the expence of almost similar + sufferings, to have relieved himself from those rising pangs which called + him author of this scene of woe. His pride, his pomp, his ancient name, + were now sunk in his estimation; and while he considered himself the + destroyer of this unhappy young creature, he would have sacrificed them + all to have called himself her protector. Little is the boast of insolence + when it is analysed by the conscience! bitter is the agony of + self-reproach, where misery follows hardness of heart! yet, when the first + painful astonishment from her situation abated, the remorse she excited + being far stronger than the pity, he gave an angry glance at Dr Lyster for + betraying him into such a sight, and hastily left the room. + </p> + <p> + Delvile, who was now impatiently waiting to see Dr Lyster in the little + parlour, alarmed at the sound of a new step upon the stairs, came out to + enquire who had been admitted. When he saw his father, he shrunk back; but + Mr Delvile, no longer supported by pride, and unable to recover from the + shock he had just received, caught him in his arms, and said “Oh come home + to me, my son! this is a place to destroy you!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Sir,” cried Delvile, “think not of me now!—you must shew me no + kindness; I am not in a state to bear it!” And, forcibly breaking from + him, he hurried out of the house. + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile, all the father awakened in his bosom, saw his departure with + more dread than anger; and returned himself to St James's-square, tortured + with parental fears, and stung by personal remorse, lamenting his own + inflexibility, and pursued by the pale image of Cecilia. + </p> + <p> + She was still in this unconscious state, and apparently as free from + suffering as from enjoyment, when a new voice was suddenly heard without, + exclaiming, “Oh where is she? where is she? where is my dear Miss + Beverley?” and Henrietta Belfield ran wildly into the room. + </p> + <p> + The advertisement in the news-papers had at once brought her to town, and + directed her to the house: the mention that the lost lady <i>talked much + of a person by the name of Delvile</i>, struck her instantly to mean + Cecilia; the description corresponded with this idea, and the account of + the dress confirmed it: Mr Arnott, equally terrified with herself, had + therefore lent her his chaise to learn the truth of this conjecture, and + she had travelled all night. + </p> + <p> + Flying up to the bedside, “Who is this?” she cried, “this is not Miss + Beverley?” and then screaming with unrestrained horror, “Oh mercy! mercy!” + she called out, “yes, it is indeed! and nobody would know her!—her + own mother would not think her her child!” + </p> + <p> + “You must come away, Miss Belfield,” said Mary, “you must indeed,—the + doctors all say my lady must not be disturbed.” + </p> + <p> + “Who shall take me away?” cried she, angrily, “nobody Mary! not all the + doctors in the world! Oh sweet Miss Beverley! I will lie down by your + side,—I will never quit you while you live,—and I wish, I wish + I could die to save your precious life!” + </p> + <p> + Then, leaning over her, and wringing her hands, “Oh I shall break my + heart,” she cried, “to see her in this condition! Is this the so happy + Miss Beverley, that I thought every body born to give joy to? the Miss + Beverley that seemed queen of the whole world! yet so good and so gentle, + so kind to the meanest person! excusing every body's faults but her own, + and telling them how they might mend, and trying to make them as good as + herself!—Oh who would know her! who would know her! what have they + done to you, my beloved Miss Beverley? how have they altered and + disfigured you in this wicked and barbarous manner?” + </p> + <p> + In the midst of this simple yet pathetic testimony, to the worth and + various excellencies of Cecilia, Dr Lyster came into the room. The women + all flocked around him, except Mary, to vindicate themselves from any + share in permitting this new comer's entrance and behaviour; but Mary only + told him who she was, and said, that if her lady was well enough to know + her, there was nobody she was certain she would have been so glad to see. + </p> + <p> + “Young lady,” said the doctor, “I would advise you to walk into another + room till you are a little more composed.” + </p> + <p> + “Every body, I find, is for hurrying me away,” cried the sobbing + Henrietta, whose honest heart swelled with its own affectionate integrity; + “but they might all save themselves the trouble, for go I will not!” + </p> + <p> + “This is very wrong,” said the doctor, “and must not be suffered: do you + call it friendship to come about a sick person in this manner?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh my Miss Beverley!” cried Henrietta, “do you hear how they all upbraid + me? how they all want to force me away from you, and to hinder me even + from looking at you! Speak for me, sweet lady! speak for me yourself! tell + them the poor Henrietta will not do you any harm; tell them she only + wishes just to sit by you, and to see you!—I will hold by this dear + hand,—I will cling to it till the last minute; and you will not, I + know you will not, give orders to have it taken away from me!” + </p> + <p> + Dr Lyster, though his own good nature was much affected by this fond + sorrow, now half angrily represented to her the impropriety of indulging + it: but Henrietta, unused to disguise or repress her feelings, grew only + the more violent, the more she was convinced of Cecilia's danger: “Oh look + but at her,” she exclaimed, “and take me from her if you can! see how her + sweet eyes are fixed! look but what a change in her complexion!—She + does not see me, she does not know me,—she does not hear me! her + hand seems quite lifeless already, her face is all fallen away!—Oh + that I had died twenty deaths before I had lived to see this sight!—poor + wretched Henrietta, thou bast now no friend left in the world! thou mayst + go and lie down in some corner, and no one will come and say to thee a + word of comfort!” + </p> + <p> + “This must not be!” said Dr Lyster, “you must take her away.” + </p> + <p> + “You shall not!” cried she, desperately, “I will stay with her till she + has breathed her last, and I will stay with her still longer! and if she + was to speak to you this moment, she would tell you that she chose it. She + loved the poor Henrietta, and loved to have her near her; and when she was + ill, and in much distress, she never once bid me leave her room. Is it not + true, my sweet Miss Beverley? do you not know it to be true? Oh look not + so dreadfully! turn to your unhappy Henrietta; sweetest, best of ladies! + will you not speak to her once more? will you not say to her one single + word?” + </p> + <p> + Dr Lyster now grew very angry, and telling her such violence might have + fatal consequences, frightened her into more order, and drew her away + himself. He had then the kindness to go with her into another room, where, + when her first vehemence was spent, his remonstrances and reasoning + brought her to a sense of the danger she might occasion, and made her + promise not to return to the room till she had gained strength to behave + better. + </p> + <p> + When Dr Lyster went again to Delvile, he found him greatly alarmed by his + long stay; he communicated to him briefly what had passed, and counselled + him to avoid encreasing his own grief by the sight of what was suffered by + this unguarded and ardent girl. Delvile readily assented, for the weight + of his own woe was too heavy to bear any addition. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta now, kept in order by Dr Lyster, contented herself with only + sitting on the bed, without attempting to speak, and with no other + employment than alternately looking at her sick friend, and covering her + streaming eyes with her handkerchief; from time to time quitting the room + wholly, for the relief of sobbing at liberty and aloud in another. + </p> + <p> + But, in the evening, while Delvile and Dr Lyster were taking one of their + melancholy rambles, a new scene was acted in the apartment of the still + senseless Cecilia. Albany suddenly made his entrance into it, accompanied + by three children, two girls and one boy, from the ages of four to six, + neatly dressed, clean, and healthy. + </p> + <p> + “See here!”' cried he, as he came in, “see here what I've brought you! + raise, raise your languid head, and look this way! you think me rigid,—an + enemy to pleasure, austere, harsh, and a forbidder of joy: look at this + sight, and see the contrary! who shall bring you comfort, joy, pleasure, + like this? three innocent children, clothed and fed by your bounty!” + </p> + <p> + Henrietta and Mary, who both knew him well, were but little surprised at + anything he said or did, and the nurses presumed not to interfere but by + whispers. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, however, observed nothing that passed; and Albany, somewhat + astonished, approached nearer to the bed; “Wilt thou not speak?” he cried. + </p> + <p> + “She can't, Sir,” said one of the women; “she has been speechless many + hours.” + </p> + <p> + The air of triumph with which he had entered the room was now changed into + disappointment and consternation. For some minutes he thoughtfully and + sorrowfully contemplated her, and then, with a deep sigh, said, “How will + the poor rue this day!” Then, turning to the children, who, awed by this + scene, were quiet from terror. “Alas!” he said, “ye helpless babes, ye + know not what you have lost: presumptuously we came; unheeded we must + return! I brought you to be seen by your benefactress, but she is going + where she will find many such.” + </p> + <p> + He then led them away; but, suddenly coming back, “I may see her, perhaps, + no more! shall I not, then, pray for her? Great and aweful is the change + she is making; what are human revolutions, how pitiful, how insignificant, + compared with it!—Come, little babies, come; with gifts has she + often blessed <i>you</i>, with wishes bless <i>her</i>! Come, let us kneel + round her bed; let us all pray for her together; lift up your innocent + hands, and for all of you I will speak.” + </p> + <p> + He then made the children obey his injunctions, and having knelt himself, + while Henrietta and Mary instantly did the same, “Sweet flower!” he cried, + “untimely cropt in years, yet in excellence mature! early decayed in + misery, yet fragrant in innocence! Gentle be thy exit, for unsullied have + been thy days; brief be thy pains, for few have been thy offences! Look at + her sweet babes, and bear her in your remembrance; often will I visit you + and revive the solemn scene. Look at her ye, also, who are nearer to your + end—Ah! will you bear it like her!” + </p> + <p> + He paused; and the nurses and Mrs Wyers, struck by this call, and moved by + the general example, crept to the bed, and dropt on their knees, almost + involuntarily. + </p> + <p> + “She departs,” resumed Albany, “the envy of the world! while yet no guilt + had seized her soul, and no remorse had marred her peace. She was the + hand-maid of charity, and pity dwelt in her bosom! her mouth was never + open but to give comfort; her foot-steps were followed by blessings! Oh + happy in purity, be thine the song of triumph!—softly shalt thou + sink to temporary sleep,—sublimely shalt thou rise to life that + wakes for ever!” + </p> + <p> + He then got up, took the children by their little hands, and went away. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0030" id="link2HCH0030"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER x. — A TERMINATION. + </h2> + <p> + Dr Lyster and Delvile met them at the entrance into the house. Extremely + alarmed lest Cecilia had received any disturbance, they both hastened up + stairs, but Delvile proceeded only to the door. He stopt there and + listened; but all was silent; the prayers of Albany had struck an awe into + every one; and Dr Lyster soon returned to tell him there was no alteration + in his patient. + </p> + <p> + “And he has not disturbed her?” cried Delvile. + </p> + <p> + “No, not at all.” + </p> + <p> + “I think, then,” said he, advancing, though trembling, “I will yet see her + once more.” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, Mr Mortimer,” cried the doctor, “why should you give yourself so + unnecessary a shock?” + </p> + <p> + “The shock,” answered he, “is over!—tell me, however, is there any + chance I may hurt <i>her</i>?” + </p> + <p> + “I believe not; I do not think, just now, she will perceive you.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then,—I may grieve, perhaps, hereafter, that once more—that + one glance!”—He stopt, irresolute the doctor would again have + dissuaded him, but, after a little hesitation, he assured him he was + prepared for the worst, and forced himself into the room. + </p> + <p> + When again, however, he beheld Cecilia,—senseless, speechless, + motionless, her features void of all expression, her cheeks without + colour, her eyes without meaning,—he shrunk from the sight, he leant + upon Dr Lyster, and almost groaned aloud. + </p> + <p> + The doctor would have conducted him out of the apartment; but, recovering + from this first agony, he turned again to view her, and casting up his + eyes, fervently ejaculated, “Oh merciful powers! Take, or destroy her! let + her not linger thus, rather let me lose her for ever!—O far rather + would I see her dead, glad in this dreadful condition!” + </p> + <p> + Then, advancing to the bed side, and yet more earnestly looking at her, “I + pray not now,” he cried, “for thy life! inhumanly as I have treated thee, + I am not yet so hardened as to wish thy misery lengthened no; quick be thy + restoration, or short as pure thy passage to eternity!—Oh my + Cecilia! lovely, however altered! sweet even in the arms of death and + insanity! and dearer to my tortured heart in this calamitous state, than + in all thy pride of health and beauty!”— + </p> + <p> + He stopt, and turned from her, yet could not tear himself away; he came + back, he again looked at her, he hung over her in anguish unutterable; he + kissed each burning hand, he folded to his bosom her feeble form, and, + recovering his speech, though almost bursting with sorrow, faintly + articulated, “Is all over? no ray of reason left? no knowledge of thy + wretched Delvile?—no, none! the hand of death is on her, and she is + utterly gone!—sweet suffering excellence! loved, lost, expiring + Cecilia!—but I will not repine! peace and kindred angels are + watching to receive thee, and if thou art parted from thyself, it were + impious to lament thou shouldst be parted from me.—Yet in thy tomb + will be deposited all that to me could render existence supportable, every + frail chance of happiness, every sustaining hope, and all alleviation of + sorrow!”— + </p> + <p> + Dr Lyster now again approaching, thought he perceived some change in his + patient, and peremptorily forced him away from her: then returning + himself, he found that her eyes were shut, and she was dropt asleep. + </p> + <p> + This was an omen the most favourable he could hope. He now seated himself + by the bedside, and determined not to quit her till the expected crisis + was past. He gave the strictest orders for the whole house to be kept + quiet, and suffered no one in the room either to speak or move. + </p> + <p> + Her sleep was long and heavy; yet, when she awoke, her sensibility was + evidently returned. She started, suddenly raised her head from the pillow, + looked round her, and called out, “where am I now?” + </p> + <p> + “Thank Heaven!” cried Henrietta, and was rushing forward, when Dr Lyster, + by a stern and angry look, compelled her again to take her seat. + </p> + <p> + He then spoke to her himself, enquired how she did, and found her quite + rational. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta, who now doubted not her perfect recovery, wept as violently for + joy as she had before wept for grief; and Mary, in the same belief, ran + instantly to Delvile, eager to carry to him the first tidings that her + mistress had recovered her reason. + </p> + <p> + Delvile, in the utmost emotion, then returned to the chamber; but stood at + some distance from the bed, waiting Dr Lyster's permission to approach it. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia was quiet and composed, her recollection seemed restored, and her + intellects sound: hut she was faint and weak, and contentedly silent, to + avoid the effort of speaking. + </p> + <p> + Dr Lyster encouraged this stillness, and suffered not anyone, not even + Delvile, to advance to her. After a short time, however, she again, and + very calmly, began to talk to him. She now first knew him, and seemed much + surprised by his attendance. She could not tell, she said, what of late + had happened to her, nor could guess where she was, or by what means she + came into such a place. Dr Lyster desired her at present not to think upon + the subject, and promised her a full account of everything, when she was + stronger, and more fit for conversing. + </p> + <p> + This for a while silenced her. But, after a short pause, “Tell me,” she + said, “Dr Lyster, have I no friend in this place but you?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, yes, you have several friends here,” answered the Doctor, “only I + keep them in order, lest they should hurry or disturb you.” + </p> + <p> + She seemed much pleased by this speech; but soon after said, “You must + not, Doctor, keep them in order much longer, for the sight of them, I + think, would much revive me.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Miss Beverley!” cried Henrietta, who could not now restrain herself, + “may not <i>I</i>, among the rest, come and speak to you?” + </p> + <p> + “Who is that?” said Cecilia, in a voice of pleasure, though very feeble; + “is it my ever-dear Henrietta?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh this is joy indeed!” cried she, fervently kissing her cheeks and + forehead, “joy that I never, never expected to have more!” + </p> + <p> + “Come, come,” cried Dr Lyster, “here's enough of this; did I not do well + to keep such people off?” + </p> + <p> + “I believe you did,” said Cecilia, faintly smiling; “my too kind + Henrietta, you must be more tranquil!” + </p> + <p> + “I will, I will indeed, madam!—my dear, dear Miss Beverley, I will + indeed!—now once you have owned me, and once again I hear your sweet + voice, I will do any thing, and every thing, for I am made happy for my + whole life!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, sweet Henrietta!” cried Cecilia, giving her her hand, “you must + suppress these feelings, or our Doctor here will soon part us. But tell + me, Doctor, is there no one else that you can let me see?” + </p> + <p> + Delvile, who had listened to this scene in the unspeakable perturbation of + that hope which is kindled from the very ashes of despair, was now + springing forward; but Dr Lyster, fearful of the consequences, hastily + arose, and with a look and air not to be disputed, took hold of his arm, + and led him out of the room. He then represented to him strongly the + danger of agitating or disturbing her, and charged him to keep from her + sight till better able to bear it; assuring him at the same time that he + might now reasonably hope her recovery. + </p> + <p> + Delvile, lost in transport, could make no answer, but flew into his arms, + and almost madly embraced him; he then hastened out of sight to pour forth + fervent thanks, and hurrying back with equal speed, again embraced the + Doctor, and while his manly cheeks were burnt with tears of joy, he could + not yet articulate the glad tumult of his soul. + </p> + <p> + The worthy Dr Lyster, who heartily partook of his happiness, again urged + him to be discreet; and Delvile, no longer intractable and desperate, + gratefully concurred in whatever he commanded. Dr Lyster then returned to + Cecilia, and to relieve her mind from any uneasy suspense, talked to her + openly of Delvile, gave her to understand he was acquainted with her + marriage, and told her he had prohibited their meeting till each was + better able to support it. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia by this delay seemed half gratified, and half disappointed; but + the rest of the physicians, who had been summoned upon this happy change, + now appearing, the orders were yet more strictly enforced for keeping her + quiet. + </p> + <p> + She submitted, therefore, peaceably; and Delvile, whose gladdened heart + still throbbed with speechless rapture, contentedly watched at her chamber + door, and obeyed implicitly whatever was said to him. + </p> + <p> + She now visibly, and almost hourly grew better; and, in a short time, her + anxiety to know all that was passed, and by what means she became so ill, + and confined in a house of which she had not any knowledge, obliged Dr + Lyster to make himself master of these particulars, that he might + communicate them to her with a calmness that Delvile could not attain. + </p> + <p> + Delvile himself, happy to be spared the bitter task of such a relation, + informed him all he knew of the story, and then entreated him to narrate + to her also the motives of his own strange, and he feared unpardonable + conduct, and the scenes which had followed their parting. + </p> + <p> + He came, he said, to England, ignorant of all that had past in his + absence, intending merely to wait upon his father, and communicate his + marriage, before he gave directions to his lawyer for the settlements and + preparations which were to precede its further publication. He meant, + also, to satisfy himself, of the real situation of Mr Monckton, and then, + after an interview with Cecilia, to have returned to his mother, and + waited at Nice till he might publicly claim his wife. + </p> + <p> + To this purpose he had written in his letter, which he meant to have put + in the Post-office in London himself; and he had but just alighted from + his chaise, when he met Ralph, Cecilia's servant, in the street. + </p> + <p> + Hastily stopping him, he enquired if he had left his place? “No,” answered + Ralph, “I am only come up to town with my lady.” + </p> + <p> + “With your lady?” cried the astonished Delvile, is your lady then in + town?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir, she is at Mrs Belfield's.” + </p> + <p> + “At Mrs Belfield's?—is her daughter returned home? + </p> + <p> + “No, sir, we left her in the country.” + </p> + <p> + He was then going on with a further account, but, in too much confusion of + mind to hear him Delvile abruptly wished him good night, and marched on + himself towards Belfield's. + </p> + <p> + The pleasure with which he would have heard that Cecilia was so near to + him, was totally lost in his perplexity to account for her journey. Her + letters had never hinted at such a purpose,—the news reached him + only by accident,—it was ten o'clock at night,—yet she was at + Belfield's—though the sister was away,—though the mother was + professedly odious to her!—In an instant, all he had formerly heard, + all he had formerly disregarded, rushed suddenly upon his memory, and he + began to believe he had been deluded, that his father was right, and that + Belfield had some strange and improper influence over her heart. + </p> + <p> + The suspicion was death to him; he drove it from him, he concluded the + whole was some error: his reason as powerfully as his tenderness + vindicated her innocence; and though he arrived at the house in much + disorder, he yet arrived with a firm persuasion of an honourable + explanation. + </p> + <p> + The door was open,—a chaise was at it in waiting,—Mrs Belfield + was listening in the passage; these appearances were strange, and + encreased his agitation. He asked for her son in a voice scarce audible,—she + told him he was engaged with a lady, and must not be disturbed. + </p> + <p> + That fatal answer, at a moment so big with the most horrible surmises, was + decisive: furiously, therefore, he forced himself past her, and opened the + door:—but when he saw them together,—the rest of the family + confessedly excluded, his rage turned to horror, and he could hardly + support himself. + </p> + <p> + “O Dr Lyster!” he continued, “ask of the sweet creature if these + circumstances offer any extenuation for the fatal jealousy which seized + me? never by myself while I live will it be forgiven, but she, perhaps, + who is all softness, all compassion, and all peace, may some time hence + think my sufferings almost equal to my offence.” + </p> + <p> + He then proceeded in his narration. + </p> + <p> + When he had so peremptorily ordered her chaise to St James's-square, he + went back to the house, and desired Belfield to walk out with him. He + complied, and they were both silent till they came to a Coffee-house, + where they asked for a private room. The whole way they went, his heart, + secretly satisfied of the purity of Cecilia, smote him for the situation + in which he had left her; yet, having unfortunately gone so far as to make + his suspicions apparent, he thought it necessary to his character that + their abolition should be equally public. + </p> + <p> + When they were alone, “Belfield,” he said, “to obviate any imputation of + impertinence in my enquiries, I deny not, what I presume you have been + told by herself, that I have the nearest interest in whatever concerns the + lady from whom we are just now parted: I must beg, therefore, an explicit + account of the purpose of your private conversation with her.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr Delvile,” answered Belfield, with mingled candour and spirit, “I am + not commonly much disposed to answer enquiries thus cavalierly put to me; + yet here, as I find myself not the principal person concerned, I think I + am bound in justice to speak for the absent who is. I assure you, + therefore, most solemnly, that your interest in Miss Beverley I never + heard but by common report, that our being alone together was by both of + us undesigned and undesired, that the honour she did our house in calling + at it, was merely to acquaint my mother with my sister's removal to Mrs + Harrel's, and that the part which I had myself in her condescension, was + simply to be consulted upon a journey which she has in contemplation to + the South of France. And now, sir, having given you this peaceable + satisfaction, you will find me extremely at your service to offer any + other.” + </p> + <p> + Delvile instantly held out his hand to him; “What you assert,” he said, + “upon your honour, requires no other testimony. Your gallantry and your + probity are equally well known to me; with either, therefore, I am + content, and by no means require the intervention of both.” + </p> + <p> + They then parted; and now, his doubts removed, and his punctilio + satisfied, he flew to St James's-square, to entreat the forgiveness of + Cecilia for the alarm he had occasioned her, and to hear the reason of her + sudden journey, and change of measures. But when he came there, to find + that his father, whom he had concluded was at Delvile Castle, was in the + house, while Cecilia had not even enquired for him at the door,—“Oh + let me not,” he continued, “even to myself, let me not trace the agony of + that moment!—where to seek her I knew not, why she was in London I + could not divine, for what purpose she had given the postilion a new + direction I could form no idea. Yet it appeared that she wished to avoid + me, and once more, in the frenzy of my disappointment, I supposed Belfield + a party in her concealment. Again, therefore, I sought him,—at his + own house,—at the coffee-house where I had left him,—in vain, + wherever I came, I just missed him, for, hearing of my search, he went + with equal restlessness, from place to place to meet me. I rejoice we both + failed; a repetition of my enquiries in my then irritable state, must + inevitably have provoked the most fatal resentment. + </p> + <p> + “I will not dwell upon the scenes that followed,—my laborious + search, my fruitless wanderings, the distraction of my suspense, the + excess of my despair!—even Belfield, the fiery Belfield, when I met + with him the next day, was so much touched by my wretchedness, that he + bore with all my injustice; feeling, noble young man! never will I lose + the remembrance of his high-souled patience. + </p> + <p> + “And now, Dr Lyster, go to my Cecilia; tell her this tale, and try, for + you have skill sufficient, to soften, yet not wound her with my + sufferings. If then she can bear to see me, to bless me with the sound of + her sweet voice, no longer at war with her intellects, to hold out to me + her loved hand, in token of peace and forgiveness.—Oh, Dr Lyster! + preserver of <i>my</i> life in hers! give to me but that exquisite moment, + and every past evil will be for ever obliterated!” + </p> + <p> + “You must be calmer, Sir,” said the Doctor, “before I make the attempt. + These heroicks are mighty well for sound health, and strong nerves, but + they will not do for an invalide.” + </p> + <p> + He went, however, to Cecilia, and gave her this narration, suppressing + whatever he feared would most affect her, and judiciously enlivening the + whole by his strictures. Cecilia was much easier for this removal of her + perplexities, and, as her anguish and her terror had been unmixed with + resentment, she had now no desire but to reconcile Delvile with himself. + </p> + <p> + Dr Lyster, however, by his friendly authority, obliged her for some time + to be content with this relation; but when she grew better, her impatience + became stronger, and he feared opposition would be as hurtful as + compliance. + </p> + <p> + Delvile, therefore, was now admitted; yet slowly and with trepidation he + advanced, terrified for her, and fearful of himself, filled with remorse + for the injuries she had sustained, and impressed with grief and horror to + behold her so ill and altered. + </p> + <p> + Supported by pillows, she sat almost upright. The moment she saw him, she + attempted to bend forward and welcome him, calling out in a tone of + pleasure, though faintly, “Ah! dearest Delvile! is it you?” but too weak + for the effort she had made, she sunk back upon her pillow, pale, + trembling, and disordered. + </p> + <p> + Dr Lyster would then have interfered to postpone their further + conversation; but Delvile was no longer master of himself or his passions: + he darted forward, and kneeling at the bed side, “Sweet injured + excellence!” he cried, “wife of my heart! sole object of my chosen + affection! dost thou yet live? do I hear thy loved voice?—do I see + thee again?—art thou my Cecilia? and have I indeed not lost thee?” + then regarding her more fixedly, “Alas,” he cried, “art thou indeed my + Cecilia! so pale, so emaciated!—Oh suffering angel! and couldst thou + then call upon Delvile, the guilty, but heart-broken Delvile, thy + destroyer, thy murderer, and yet not call to execrate him?” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, extremely affected, could not utter a word; she held out to him + her hand, she looked at him with gentleness and kindness, but tears + started into her eyes, and trickled in large drops down her colourless + cheeks. + </p> + <p> + “Angelic creature!” cried Delvile, his own tears overflowing, while he + pressed to his lips the kind token of her pardon, “can you give to me + again a hand so ill deserved? can you look with such compassion on the + author of your woes? on the wretch, who for an instant could doubt the + purity of a mind so seraphic!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Delvile!” cried she, a little reviving, “think no more of what is + past!—to see you,—to be yours,—drives all evil from my + remembrance!” + </p> + <p> + “I am not worthy this joy!” cried he, rising, kneeling, and rising again; + “I know not how to sustain it! a forgiveness such as this,—when I + believed You must hate me for ever! when repulse and aversion were all I + dared expect,—when my own inhumanity had bereft thee of thy reason,—when + the grave, the pitiless grave, was already open to receive thee.”— + </p> + <p> + “Too kind, too feeling Delvile!” cried the penetrated Cecilia, “relieve + your loaded heart from these bitter recollections; mine is lightened + already,—lightened, I think, of every thing but its affection for <i>you</i>!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh words of transport and extacy!” cried the enraptured Delvile, “oh + partner of my life! friend, solace, darling of my bosom! that so lately I + thought expiring! that I folded to my bleeding heart in the agony of + eternal separation!”— + </p> + <p> + “Come away, Sir, come away,” cried Dr Lyster, who now saw that Cecilia was + greatly agitated, “I will not be answerable for the continuation of this + scene;” and taking him by the arm, he awakened him from his frantic + rapture, by assuring him she would faint, and forced him away from her. + </p> + <p> + Soon after he was gone, and Cecilia became more tranquil, Henrietta, who + had wept with bitterness in a corner of the room during this scene, + approached her, and, with an attempted smile, though in a voice hardly + audible, said, “Ah, Miss Beverley, you will, at last, then be happy! happy + as all your goodness deserves. And I am sure I should rejoice in it if I + was to die to make you happier!” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, who but too well knew her full meaning, tenderly embraced her, + but was prevented by Dr Lyster from entering into any discourse with her. + </p> + <p> + The first meeting, however, with Delvile being over, the second was far + more quiet, and in a very short time, he would scarcely quit her a moment, + Cecilia herself receiving from his sight a pleasure too great for denial, + yet too serene for danger. + </p> + <p> + The worthy Dr Lyster, finding her prospect of recovery thus fair, prepared + for leaving London: but, equally desirous to do good out of his profession + as in it, he first, at the request of Delvile, waited upon his father, to + acquaint him with his present situation, solicit his directions for his + future proceedings, and endeavour to negociate a general reconciliation. + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile, to whose proud heart social joy could find no avenue, was yet + touched most sensibly by the restoration of Cecilia. Neither his dignity + nor his displeasure had been able to repress remorse, a feeling to which, + with all his foibles, he had not been accustomed. The view of her + distraction had dwelt upon his imagination, the despondency of his son had + struck him with fear and horror. He had been haunted by self reproach, and + pursued by vain regret; and those concessions he had refused to tenderness + and entreaty, he now willingly accorded to change repentance for + tranquility. He sent instantly for his son, whom even with tears he + embraced, and felt his own peace restored as he pronounced his + forgiveness. + </p> + <p> + New, however, to kindness, he retained it not long, and a stranger to + generosity, he knew not how to make her welcome: the extinction of his + remorse abated his compassion for Cecilia, and when solicited to receive + her, he revived the charges of Mr Monckton. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, informed of this, determined to write to that gentleman herself, + whose long and painful illness, joined to his irrecoverable loss of her, + she now hoped might prevail with him to make reparation for the injuries + he had done her. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Mr Monckton</i>. + </p> + <p> + I write not, Sir, to upbraid you; the woes which have followed your ill + offices, and which you may some time hear, will render my reproaches + superfluous. I write but to beseech that what is past may content you; and + that, however, while I was single, you chose to misrepresent me to the + Delvile family, you will have so much honour, since I am now become one of + it, as to acknowledge my innocence of the crimes laid to my charge. + </p> + <p> + In remembrance of my former long friendship, I send you my good wishes; + and in consideration of my hopes from your recantation, I send you, Sir, + if you think it worth acceptance, my forgiveness. + </p> + <p> + CECILIA DELVILE. + </p> + <p> + Mr Monckton, after many long and painful struggles between useless rage, + and involuntary remorse, at length sent the following answer. + </p> + <p> + <i>To Mrs Mortimer Delvile</i>. + </p> + <p> + Those who could ever believe you guilty, must have been eager to think you + so. I meant but your welfare at all times, and to have saved you from a + connection I never thought equal to your merit. I am grieved, but not + surprised, to hear of your injuries; from the alliance you have formed, + nothing else could be expected: if my testimony to your innocence can, + however, serve to mitigate them, I scruple not to declare I believe it + without taint. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Delvile sent by Dr Lyster this letter to his father, whose rage at the + detection of the perfidy which had deceived him, was yet inferior to what + he felt that his family was mentioned so injuriously. + </p> + <p> + His conference with Dr Lyster was long and painful, but decisive: that + sagacious and friendly man knew well how to work upon, his passions, and + so effectually awakened them by representing the disgrace of his own + family from the present situation of Cecilia, that before he quitted his + house he was authorised to invite her to remove to it. + </p> + <p> + When he returned from his embassy, he found Delvile in her room, and each + waiting with impatience the event of his negociation. + </p> + <p> + The Doctor with much alacrity gave Cecilia the invitation with which he + had been charged; but Delvile, jealous for her dignity, was angry and + dissatisfied his father brought it not himself, and exclaimed with much + mortification, “Is this all the grace accorded me?” + </p> + <p> + “Patience, patience, Sir,” answered the Doctor; “when you have thwarted + any body in their first hope and ambition, do you expect they will send + you their compliments and many thanks for the disappointment? Pray let the + good gentleman have his way in some little matters, since you have taken + such effectual care to put out of his reach the power of having it in + greater.” + </p> + <p> + “O far from starting obstacles,” cried Cecilia, “let us solicit a + reconciliation with whatever concessions he may require. The misery of + DISOBEDIENCE we have but too fatally experienced; and thinking as we think + of filial ties and parental claims, how can we ever hope happiness till + forgiven and taken into favour?” + </p> + <p> + “True, my Cecilia,” answered Delvile, “and generous and condescending as + true; and if <i>you</i> can thus sweetly comply, I will gratefully forbear + making any opposition. Too much already have you suffered from the + impetuosity of my temper, but I will try to curb it in future by the + remembrance of your injuries.” + </p> + <p> + “The whole of this unfortunate business,” said Dr Lyster, “has been the + result of PRIDE and PREJUDICE. Your uncle, the Dean, began it, by his + arbitrary will, as if an ordinance of his own could arrest the course of + nature! and as if <i>he</i> had power to keep alive, by the loan of a + name, a family in the male branch already extinct. Your father, Mr + Mortimer, continued it with the same self-partiality, preferring the + wretched gratification of tickling his ear with a favourite sound, to the + solid happiness of his son with a rich and deserving wife. Yet this, + however, remember; if to PRIDE and PREJUDICE you owe your miseries, so + wonderfully is good and evil balanced, that to PRIDE and PREJUDICE you + will also owe their termination: for all that I could say to Mr Delvile, + either of reasoning or entreaty,—and I said all I could suggest, and + I suggested all a man need wish to hear,—was totally thrown away, + till I pointed out to him his <i>own</i> disgrace, in having a <i>daughter-in-law</i> + immured in these mean lodgings! + </p> + <p> + “Thus, my dear young lady, the terror which drove you to this house, and + the sufferings which have confined you in it, will prove, in the event, + the source of your future peace: for when all my best rhetorick failed to + melt Mr Delvile, I instantly brought him to terms by coupling his name + with a pawnbroker's! And he could not with more disgust hear his son + called Mr Beverley, than think of his son's wife when he hears of the <i>Three + Blue Balls</i>! Thus the same passions, taking but different directions, + <i>do</i> mischief and <i>cure</i> it alternately. + </p> + <p> + “Such, my good young friends, is the MORAL of your calamities. You have + all, in my opinion, been strangely at cross purposes, and trifled, no one + knows why, with the first blessings of life. My only hope is that now, + having among you thrown away its luxuries, you will have known enough of + misery to be glad to keep its necessaries.” + </p> + <p> + This excellent man was yet prevailed upon by Delvile to stay and assist in + removing the feeble Cecilia to St James's-square. + </p> + <p> + Henrietta, for whom Mr Arnott's equipage and servants had still remained + in town, was then, though with much difficulty, persuaded to go back to + Suffolk: but Cecilia, however fond of her society, was too sensible of the + danger and impropriety of her present situation, to receive from it any + pleasure. + </p> + <p> + Mr Delvile's reception of Cecilia was formal and cold: yet, as she now + appeared publicly in the character of his son's wife, the best apartment + in his house had been prepared for her use, his domestics were instructed + to wait upon her with the utmost respect, and Lady Honoria Pemberton, who + was accidentally in town, offered from curiosity, what Mr Delvile accepted + from parade, to be herself in St James's-square, in order to do honour to + his daughter-in-law's first entrance. + </p> + <p> + When Cecilia was a little recovered from the shock of the first interview, + and the fatigue of her removal, the anxious Mortimer would instantly have + had her conveyed to her own apartment; but, willing to exert herself, and + hoping to oblige Mr Delvile, she declared she was well able to remain some + time longer in the drawing-room. + </p> + <p> + “My good friends,” said Dr Lyster, “in the course of my long practice, I + have found it impossible to study the human frame, without a little + studying the human mind; and from all that I have yet been able to make + out, either by observation, reflection, or comparison, it appears to me at + this moment, that Mr Mortimer Delvile has got the best wife, and that you, + Sir, have here the most faultless daughter-in-law, that any husband or any + father in the three kingdoms belonging to his Majesty can either have or + desire.” + </p> + <p> + Cecilia smiled; Mortimer looked his delighted concurrence; Mr Delvile + forced himself to make a stiff inclination of the head; and Lady Honoria + gaily exclaimed, “Dr Lyster, when you say the <i>best</i> and the most <i>faultless</i>, + you should always add the rest of the company excepted.” + </p> + <p> + “Upon my word,” cried the Doctor, “I beg your ladyship's pardon; but there + is a certain unguarded warmth comes across a man now and then, that drives + <i>etiquette</i> out of his head, and makes him speak truth before he well + knows where he is.” + </p> + <p> + “O terrible!” cried she, “this is sinking deeper and deeper. I had hoped + the town air would have taught you better things; but I find you have + visited at Delvile Castle till you are fit for no other place.” + </p> + <p> + “Whoever, Lady Honoria,” said Mr Delvile, much offended, “is fit for + Delvile Castle, must be fit for every other place; though every other + place may by no means be fit for him.” + </p> + <p> + “O yes, Sir,” cried she, giddily, “every possible place will be fit for + him, if he can once bear with that. Don't you think so, Dr Lyster?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, when a man has the honour to see your ladyship,” answered he, + good-humouredly, “he is apt to think too much of the person, to care about + the place.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, I begin to have some hopes of you,” cried she, “for I see, for a + Doctor, you have really a very pretty notion of a compliment: only you + have one great fault still; you look the whole time as if you said it for + a joke.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, in fact, madam, when a man has been a plain dealer both in word and + look for upwards of fifty years, 'tis expecting too quick a reformation to + demand ductility of voice and eye from him at a blow. However, give me but + a little time and a little encouragement, and, with such a tutress, 'twill + be hard if I do not, in a very few lessons, learn the right method of + seasoning a simper, and the newest fashion of twisting words from + meaning.” + </p> + <p> + “But pray,” cried she, “upon those occasions, always remember to look + serious. Nothing sets off a compliment so much as a long face. If you are + tempted to an unseasonable laugh, think of Delvile Castle; 'tis an + expedient I commonly make use of myself when I am afraid of being too + frisky: and it always succeeds, for the very recollection of it gives me + the head-ache in a moment. Upon my word, Mr Delvile, you must have the + constitution of five men, to have kept such good health, after living so + long at that horrible place. You can't imagine how you've surprised me, + for I have regularly expected to hear of your death at the end of every + summer: and, I assure you, once, I was very near buying mourning.” + </p> + <p> + “The estate which descends to a man from his own ancestors, Lady Honoria,” + answered Mr Delvile, “will seldom be apt to injure his health, if he is + conscious of committing no misdemeanour which has degraded their memory.” + </p> + <p> + “How vastly odious this new father of yours is!” said Lady Honoria, in a + whisper to Cecilia; “what could ever induce you to give up your charming + estate for the sake of coming into this fusty old family! I would really + advise you to have your marriage annulled. You have only, you know, to + take an oath that you were forcibly run away with; and as you are an + Heiress, and the Delviles are all so violent, it will easily be credited. + And then, as soon as you are at liberty, I would advise you to marry my + little Lord Derford.” + </p> + <p> + “Would you only, then,” said Cecilia, “have me regain my freedom in order + to part with it?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly,” answered Lady Honoria, “for you can do nothing at all without + being married; a single woman is a thousand times more shackled than a + wife; for she is accountable to every body; and a wife, you know, has + nothing to do but just to manage her husband.” + </p> + <p> + “And that,” said Cecilia, smiling, “you consider as a trifle?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, if you do but marry a man you don't care for.” + </p> + <p> + “You are right, then, indeed, to recommend to me my Lord Derford!” + </p> + <p> + “O yes, he will make the prettiest husband in the world; you may fly about + yourself as wild as a lark, and keep him the whole time as tame as a + jack-daw: and though he may complain of you to your friends, he will never + have the courage to find fault to your face. But as to Mortimer, you will + not be able to govern him as long as you live; for the moment you have put + him upon the fret, you'll fall into the dumps yourself, hold out your hand + to him, and, losing the opportunity of gaining some material point, make + up at the first soft word.” + </p> + <p> + “You think, then, the quarrel more amusing than the reconciliation?” + </p> + <p> + “O, a thousand times! for while you are quarrelling, you may say any + thing, and demand any thing, but when you are reconciled, you ought to + behave pretty, and seem contented.” + </p> + <p> + “Those who presume to have any pretensions to your ladyship,” said + Cecilia, “would be made happy indeed should they hear your principles!” + </p> + <p> + “O, it would not signify at all,” answered she, “for one's fathers, and + uncles, and those sort of people, always make connexions for one, and not + a creature thinks of our principles, till they find them out by our + conduct: and nobody can possibly do that till we are married, for they + give us no power beforehand. The men know nothing of us in the world while + we are single, but how we can dance a minuet, or play a lesson upon the + harpsichord.” + </p> + <p> + “And what else,” said Mr Delvile, who advanced, and heard this last + speech, “need a young lady of rank desire to be known for? your ladyship + surely would not have her degrade herself by studying like an artist or + professor?” + </p> + <p> + “O no, Sir, I would not have her study at all; it's mighty well for + children, but really after sixteen, and when one is come out, one has + quite fatigue enough in dressing, and going to public places, and ordering + new things, without all that torment of first and second position, and E + upon the first line, and F upon the first, space!” + </p> + <p> + “Your ladyship must, however, pardon me for hinting,” said Mr Delvile, + “that a young lady of condition, who has a proper sense of her dignity, + cannot be seen too rarely, or known too little.” + </p> + <p> + “O but I hate dignity!” cried she carelessly, “for it's the dullest thing + in the world. I always thought it was owing to that you were so little + amusing;—really I beg your pardon, Sir, I meant to say so little + talkative.” + </p> + <p> + “I can easily credit that your ladyship spoke hastily,” answered he, + highly piqued, “for I believe, indeed, a person of a family such as mine, + will hardly be supposed to have come into the world for the office of + amusing it!” + </p> + <p> + “O no, Sir,” cried she, with pretended innocence, “nobody, I am sure, ever + saw you with such a thought.” Then, turning to Cecilia, she added in a + whisper, “You cannot imagine, my dear Mrs Mortimer, how I detest this old + cousin of mine! Now pray tell me honestly if you don't hate him yourself?” + </p> + <p> + “I hope,” said Cecilia, “to have no reason.” + </p> + <p> + “Lord, how you are always upon your guard! If I were half as cautious, I + should die of the vapours in a month; the only thing that keeps me at all + alive, is now and then making people angry; for the folks at our house let + me go out so seldom, and then send me with such stupid old chaperons, that + giving them a little torment is really the only entertainment I can + procure myself. O—but I had almost forgot to tell you a most + delightful thing!” + </p> + <p> + “What is it?” + </p> + <p> + “Why you must know I have the greatest hopes in the world that my father + will quarrel with old Mr Delvile!” + </p> + <p> + “And is that such a delightful thing!” + </p> + <p> + “O yes; I have lived upon the very idea this fortnight; for then, you + know, they'll both be in a passion, and I shall see which of them looks + frightfullest.” + </p> + <p> + “When Lady Honoria whispers,” cried Mortimer, “I always suspect some + mischief.” + </p> + <p> + “No indeed,” answered her ladyship, “I was merely congratulating Mrs + Mortimer about her marriage. Though really, upon second thoughts, I don't + know whether I should not rather condole with her, for I have long been + convinced she has a prodigious antipathy to you. I saw it the whole time I + was at Delvile Castle, where she used to change colour at the very sound + of your name; a symptom I never perceived when I talked to her of my Lord + Derford, who would certainly have made her a thousand times a better + husband.” + </p> + <p> + “If you mean on account of his title, Lady Honoria,” said Mr Delvile; + “your ladyship must be strangely forgetful of the connections of your + family, not to remember that Mortimer, after the death of his uncle and + myself, must inevitably inherit one far more honourable than a + new-sprung-up family, like my Lord Ernolf's, could offer.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, Sir; but then, you know, she would have kept her estate, which would + have been a vastly better thing than an old pedigree of new relations. + Besides, I don't find that any body cares for the noble blood of the + Delviles but themselves; and if she had kept her fortune, every body, I + fancy, would have cared for <i>that</i>.” + </p> + <p> + “Every body, then,” said Mr Delvile, “must be highly mercenary and + ignoble, or the blood of an ancient and honourable house, would be thought + contaminated by the most distant hint of so degrading a comparison.” + </p> + <p> + “Dear Sir, what should we all do with birth if it was not for wealth? it + would neither take us to Ranelagh nor the Opera; nor buy us caps nor wigs, + nor supply us with dinners nor bouquets.” + </p> + <p> + “Caps and wigs, dinners and bouquets!” interrupted Mr Delvile; “your + ladyship's estimate of wealth is really extremely minute.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, you know, Sir, as to caps and wigs, they are very serious things, + for we should look mighty droll figures to go about bare-headed; and as to + dinners, how would the Delviles have lasted all these thousand centuries + if they had disdained eating them?” + </p> + <p> + “Whatever may be your ladyship's satisfaction,” said Mr Delvile, angrily, + “in depreciating a house that has the honour of being nearly allied with + your own, you will not, I hope at least, instruct this lady,” turning to + Cecilia, “to adopt a similar contempt of its antiquity and dignity.” + </p> + <p> + “This lady,” cried Mortimer, “will at least, by condescending to become + one of it, secure us from any danger that such contempt may spread + further.” + </p> + <p> + “Let me but,” said Cecilia, looking gratefully at him, “be as secure from + exciting as I am from feeling contempt, and what can I have to wish?” + </p> + <p> + “Good and excellent young lady!” said Dr Lyster, “the first of blessings + indeed is yours in the temperance of your own mind. When you began your + career in life, you appeared to us short-sighted mortals, to possess more + than your share of the good things of this world; such a union of riches, + beauty, independence, talents, education and virtue, seemed a monopoly to + raise general envy and discontent; but mark with what scrupulous exactness + the good and bad is ever balanced! You have had a thousand sorrows to + which those who have looked up to you have been strangers, and for which + not all the advantages you possess have been equivalent. There is + evidently throughout this world, in things as well as persons, a levelling + principle, at war with pre-eminence, and destructive of perfection.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” cried Mortimer, in a low voice to Cecilia, “how much higher must we + all rise, or how much lower must you fall, ere any levelling principle + will approximate us with YOU!” + </p> + <p> + He then entreated her to spare her strength and spirits by returning to + her own apartment, and the conversation was broken up. + </p> + <p> + “Pray permit me, Mrs Mortimer,” cried Lady Honoria, in taking leave, “to + beg that the first guest you invite to Delvile Castle may be me. You know + my partiality to it already. I shall be particularly happy in waiting upon + you in tempestuous weather! We can all stroll out together, you know, very + sociably; and I sha'n't be much in your way, for if there should happen to + be a storm, you can easily lodge me under some great tree, and while you + amuse yourselves with a <i>tete-a-tete</i>, give me the indulgence of my + own reflections. I am vastly fond of thinking, and being alone, you know,—especially + in thunder and lightning!” + </p> + <p> + She then ran away; and they all separated: Cecilia was conveyed up stairs, + and the worthy Dr Lyster, loaded with acknowledgments of every kind, set + out for the country. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, still weak, and much emaciated, for some time lived almost wholly + in her own room, where the grateful and solicitous attendance of Mortimer, + alleviated the pain both of her illness and confinement: but as soon as + her health permitted travelling, he hastened with her abroad. + </p> + <p> + Here tranquility once more made its abode the heart of Cecilia; that heart + so long torn with anguish, suspense and horrour! Mrs Delvile received her + with the most rapturous fondness, and the impression of her sorrows + gradually wore away, from her kind and maternal cares, and from the + watchful affection and delighted tenderness of her son. + </p> + <p> + The Egglestons now took entire possession of her estate, and Delvile, at + her entreaty, forbore shewing any personal resentment of their conduct, + and put into the hands of a lawyer the arrangement of the affair. + </p> + <p> + They continued abroad some months, and the health of Mrs Delvile was + tolerably re-established. They were then summoned home by the death of + Lord Delvile, who bequeathed to his nephew Mortimer his town house, and + whatever of his estate was not annexed to his title, which necessarily + devolved to his brother. + </p> + <p> + The sister of Mrs Delvile, a woman of high spirit and strong passions, + lived not long after him; but having, in her latter days, intimately + connected herself with Cecilia, she was so much charmed with her + character, and so much dazzled by her admiration of the extraordinary + sacrifice she had made, that, in a fit of sudden enthusiasm, she altered + her will, to leave to her, and to her sole disposal, the fortune which, + almost from his infancy, she had destined for her nephew. Cecilia, + astonished and penetrated, opposed the alteration; but even her sister, + now Lady Delvile, to whom she daily became dearer, earnestly supported it; + while Mortimer, delighted to restore to her through his own family, any + part of that power and independence of which her generous and pure regard + for himself had deprived her, was absolute in refusing that the deed + should be revoked. + </p> + <p> + Cecilia, from this flattering transaction, received a further conviction + of the malignant falsehood of Mr Monckton, who had always represented to + her the whole of the Delvile family as equally poor in their + circumstances, and illiberal in their minds. The strong spirit of active + benevolence which had ever marked her character, was now again displayed, + though no longer, as hitherto, unbounded. She had learnt the error of + profusion, even in charity and beneficence; and she had a motive for + oeconomy, in her animated affection for Mortimer. + </p> + <p> + She soon sent for Albany, whose surprise that she still existed, and whose + rapture at her recovered prosperity, now threatened his senses from the + tumult of his joy, with nearly the same danger they had lately been + menaced by terror. But though her donations were circumscribed by + prudence, and their objects were selected with discrimination, she gave to + herself all her former benevolent pleasure, in solacing his afflictions, + while she softened his asperity, by restoring to him his favourite office + of being her almoner and monitor. + </p> + <p> + She next sent to her own pensioners, relieved those distresses which her + sudden absence had occasioned, and renewed and continued the salaries she + had allowed them. All who had nourished reasonable expectations from her + bounty she remembered, though she raised no new claimants but with + oeconomy and circumspection. But neither Albany nor the old pensioners + felt the satisfaction of Mortimer, who saw with new wonder the virtues of + her mind, and whose admiration of her excellencies, made his gratitude + perpetual for the happiness of his lot. + </p> + <p> + The tender-hearted Henrietta, in returning to her new friends, gave way, + with artless openness, to the violence of untamed grief; but finding Mr + Arnott as wretched as herself, the sympathy Cecilia had foreseen soon + endeared them to each other, while the little interest taken in either by + Mrs Harrel, made them almost inseparable companions. + </p> + <p> + Mrs Harrel, wearied by their melancholy, and sick of retirement, took the + earliest opportunity that was offered her of changing her situation; she + married very soon a man of fortune in the neighbourhood, and, quickly + forgetting all the past, thoughtlessly began the world again, with new + hopes, new connections,—new equipages and new engagements! + </p> + <p> + Henrietta was then obliged to go again to her mother, where, though + deprived of all the indulgencies to which she was now become familiar, she + was not more hurt by the separation than Mr Arnott. So sad and so solitary + his house seemed in her absence, that he soon followed her to town, and + returned not till he carried her back its mistress. And there the gentle + gratitude of her soft and feeling heart, engaged from the worthy Mr Arnott + the tenderest affection, and, in time, healed the wound of his early and + hopeless passion. + </p> + <p> + The injudicious, the volatile, yet noble-minded Belfield, to whose mutable + and enterprising disposition life seemed always rather beginning than + progressive, roved from employment to employment, and from public life to + retirement, soured with the world, and discontented with himself, till + vanquished, at length, by the constant friendship of Delvile, he consented + to accept his good offices in again entering the army; and, being + fortunately ordered out upon foreign service, his hopes were revived by + ambition, and his prospects were brightened by a view of future honour. + </p> + <p> + The wretched Monckton, dupe of his own cunning and artifices, still lived + in lingering misery, doubtful which was most acute, the pain of his wound + and confinement, or of his defeat and disappointment. Led on by a vain + belief that he had parts to conquer all difficulties, he had indulged + without restraint a passion in which interest was seconded by inclination. + Allured by such fascinating powers, he shortly suffered nothing to stop + his course; and though when he began his career he would have started at + the mention of actual dishonour, long before it was concluded, neither + treachery nor perjury were regarded by him as stumbling blocks. + </p> + <p> + All fear of failing was lost in vanity, all sense of probity was sunk in + interest, all scruples of conscience were left behind by the heat of the + chace. Yet the unforeseen and melancholy catastrophe of his long arts, + illustrated in his despite what his principles had obscured, that even in + worldly pursuits where fraud out-runs integrity, failure joins dishonour + to loss, and disappointment excites triumph instead of pity. + </p> + <p> + The upright mind of Cecilia, her purity, her virtue, and the moderation of + her wishes, gave to her in the warm affection of Lady Delvile, and the + unremitting fondness of Mortimer, all the happiness human life seems + capable of receiving:—yet human it was, and as such imperfect! she + knew that, at times, the whole family must murmur at her loss of fortune, + and at times she murmured herself to be thus portionless, tho' an HEIRESS. + Rationally, however, she surveyed the world at large, and finding that of + the few who had any happiness, there were none without some misery, she + checked the rising sigh of repining mortality, and, grateful with general + felicity, bore partial evil with chearfullest resignation. + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Cecilia, Volume 3 (of 3), by +Frances (Fanny) Burney (Madame d'Arblay) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CECILIA, VOLUME 3 (OF 3) *** + +***** This file should be named 7152-h.htm or 7152-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/7/1/5/7152/ + + +Text file produced by Delphine Lettau, Charles Franks and the people at DP + +HTML file produced by David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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