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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Part 6
+by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Part 6
+       Chapters XXVI. to XXX.
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: June 27, 2004 [EBook #7105]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HUCKLEBERRY FINN, PART 6. ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+HUCKLEBERRY FINN
+
+By Mark Twain
+
+Part 6.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVI.
+
+WELL, when they was all gone the king he asks Mary Jane how they was off
+for spare rooms, and she said she had one spare room, which would do for
+Uncle William, and she'd give her own room to Uncle Harvey, which was a
+little bigger, and she would turn into the room with her sisters and
+sleep on a cot; and up garret was a little cubby, with a pallet in it.
+The king said the cubby would do for his valley--meaning me.
+
+So Mary Jane took us up, and she showed them their rooms, which was plain
+but nice.  She said she'd have her frocks and a lot of other traps took
+out of her room if they was in Uncle Harvey's way, but he said they
+warn't.  The frocks was hung along the wall, and before them was a
+curtain made out of calico that hung down to the floor.  There was an old
+hair trunk in one corner, and a guitar-box in another, and all sorts of
+little knickknacks and jimcracks around, like girls brisken up a room
+with.  The king said it was all the more homely and more pleasanter for
+these fixings, and so don't disturb them.  The duke's room was pretty
+small, but plenty good enough, and so was my cubby.
+
+That night they had a big supper, and all them men and women was there,
+and I stood behind the king and the duke's chairs and waited on them, and
+the niggers waited on the rest.  Mary Jane she set at the head of the
+table, with Susan alongside of her, and said how bad the biscuits was,
+and how mean the preserves was, and how ornery and tough the fried
+chickens was--and all that kind of rot, the way women always do for to
+force out compliments; and the people all knowed everything was tiptop,
+and said so--said "How DO you get biscuits to brown so nice?" and "Where,
+for the land's sake, DID you get these amaz'n pickles?" and all that kind
+of humbug talky-talk, just the way people always does at a supper, you
+know.
+
+And when it was all done me and the hare-lip had supper in the kitchen
+off of the leavings, whilst the others was helping the niggers clean up
+the things.  The hare-lip she got to pumping me about England, and blest
+if I didn't think the ice was getting mighty thin sometimes.  She says:
+
+"Did you ever see the king?"
+
+"Who?  William Fourth?  Well, I bet I have--he goes to our church."  I
+knowed he was dead years ago, but I never let on.  So when I says he goes
+to our church, she says:
+
+"What--regular?"
+
+"Yes--regular.  His pew's right over opposite ourn--on t'other side the
+pulpit."
+
+"I thought he lived in London?"
+
+"Well, he does.  Where WOULD he live?"
+
+"But I thought YOU lived in Sheffield?"
+
+I see I was up a stump.  I had to let on to get choked with a chicken
+bone, so as to get time to think how to get down again.  Then I says:
+
+"I mean he goes to our church regular when he's in Sheffield.  That's
+only in the summer time, when he comes there to take the sea baths."
+
+"Why, how you talk--Sheffield ain't on the sea."
+
+"Well, who said it was?"
+
+"Why, you did."
+
+"I DIDN'T nuther."
+
+"You did!"
+
+"I didn't."
+
+"You did."
+
+"I never said nothing of the kind."
+
+"Well, what DID you say, then?"
+
+"Said he come to take the sea BATHS--that's what I said."
+
+"Well, then, how's he going to take the sea baths if it ain't on the
+sea?"
+
+"Looky here," I says; "did you ever see any Congress-water?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Well, did you have to go to Congress to get it?"
+
+"Why, no."
+
+"Well, neither does William Fourth have to go to the sea to get a sea
+bath."
+
+"How does he get it, then?"
+
+"Gets it the way people down here gets Congress-water--in barrels.  There
+in the palace at Sheffield they've got furnaces, and he wants his water
+hot.  They can't bile that amount of water away off there at the sea.
+They haven't got no conveniences for it."
+
+"Oh, I see, now.  You might a said that in the first place and saved
+time."
+
+When she said that I see I was out of the woods again, and so I was
+comfortable and glad.  Next, she says:
+
+"Do you go to church, too?"
+
+"Yes--regular."
+
+"Where do you set?"
+
+"Why, in our pew."
+
+"WHOSE pew?"
+
+"Why, OURN--your Uncle Harvey's."
+
+"His'n?  What does HE want with a pew?"
+
+"Wants it to set in.  What did you RECKON he wanted with it?"
+
+"Why, I thought he'd be in the pulpit."
+
+Rot him, I forgot he was a preacher.  I see I was up a stump again, so I
+played another chicken bone and got another think.  Then I says:
+
+"Blame it, do you suppose there ain't but one preacher to a church?"
+
+"Why, what do they want with more?"
+
+"What!--to preach before a king?  I never did see such a girl as you.
+They don't have no less than seventeen."
+
+"Seventeen!  My land!  Why, I wouldn't set out such a string as that, not
+if I NEVER got to glory.  It must take 'em a week."
+
+"Shucks, they don't ALL of 'em preach the same day--only ONE of 'em."
+
+"Well, then, what does the rest of 'em do?"
+
+"Oh, nothing much.  Loll around, pass the plate--and one thing or
+another.  But mainly they don't do nothing."
+
+"Well, then, what are they FOR?"
+
+"Why, they're for STYLE.  Don't you know nothing?"
+
+"Well, I don't WANT to know no such foolishness as that.  How is servants
+treated in England?  Do they treat 'em better 'n we treat our niggers?"
+
+"NO!  A servant ain't nobody there.  They treat them worse than dogs."
+
+"Don't they give 'em holidays, the way we do, Christmas and New Year's
+week, and Fourth of July?"
+
+"Oh, just listen!  A body could tell YOU hain't ever been to England by
+that.  Why, Hare-l--why, Joanna, they never see a holiday from year's end
+to year's end; never go to the circus, nor theater, nor nigger shows, nor
+nowheres."
+
+"Nor church?"
+
+"Nor church."
+
+"But YOU always went to church."
+
+Well, I was gone up again.  I forgot I was the old man's servant.  But
+next minute I whirled in on a kind of an explanation how a valley was
+different from a common servant and HAD to go to church whether he wanted
+to or not, and set with the family, on account of its being the law.  But
+I didn't do it pretty good, and when I got done I see she warn't
+satisfied.  She says:
+
+"Honest injun, now, hain't you been telling me a lot of lies?"
+
+"Honest injun," says I.
+
+"None of it at all?"
+
+"None of it at all.  Not a lie in it," says I.
+
+"Lay your hand on this book and say it."
+
+I see it warn't nothing but a dictionary, so I laid my hand on it and
+said it.  So then she looked a little better satisfied, and says:
+
+"Well, then, I'll believe some of it; but I hope to gracious if I'll
+believe the rest."
+
+"What is it you won't believe, Joe?" says Mary Jane, stepping in with
+Susan behind her.  "It ain't right nor kind for you to talk so to him,
+and him a stranger and so far from his people.  How would you like to be
+treated so?"
+
+"That's always your way, Maim--always sailing in to help somebody before
+they're hurt.  I hain't done nothing to him.  He's told some stretchers,
+I reckon, and I said I wouldn't swallow it all; and that's every bit and
+grain I DID say.  I reckon he can stand a little thing like that, can't
+he?"
+
+"I don't care whether 'twas little or whether 'twas big; he's here in our
+house and a stranger, and it wasn't good of you to say it.  If you was in
+his place it would make you feel ashamed; and so you oughtn't to say a
+thing to another person that will make THEM feel ashamed."
+
+"Why, Maim, he said--"
+
+"It don't make no difference what he SAID--that ain't the thing.  The
+thing is for you to treat him KIND, and not be saying things to make him
+remember he ain't in his own country and amongst his own folks."
+
+I says to myself, THIS is a girl that I'm letting that old reptle rob her
+of her money!
+
+Then Susan SHE waltzed in; and if you'll believe me, she did give
+Hare-lip hark from the tomb!
+
+Says I to myself, and this is ANOTHER one that I'm letting him rob her of
+her money!
+
+Then Mary Jane she took another inning, and went in sweet and lovely
+again--which was her way; but when she got done there warn't hardly
+anything left o' poor Hare-lip.  So she hollered.
+
+"All right, then," says the other girls; "you just ask his pardon."
+
+She done it, too; and she done it beautiful.  She done it so beautiful it
+was good to hear; and I wished I could tell her a thousand lies, so she
+could do it again.
+
+I says to myself, this is ANOTHER one that I'm letting him rob her of her
+money.  And when she got through they all jest laid theirselves out to
+make me feel at home and know I was amongst friends.  I felt so ornery
+and low down and mean that I says to myself, my mind's made up; I'll hive
+that money for them or bust.
+
+So then I lit out--for bed, I said, meaning some time or another.  When I
+got by myself I went to thinking the thing over.  I says to myself, shall
+I go to that doctor, private, and blow on these frauds?  No--that won't
+do. He might tell who told him; then the king and the duke would make it
+warm for me.  Shall I go, private, and tell Mary Jane?  No--I dasn't do
+it. Her face would give them a hint, sure; they've got the money, and
+they'd slide right out and get away with it.  If she was to fetch in help
+I'd get mixed up in the business before it was done with, I judge.  No;
+there ain't no good way but one.  I got to steal that money, somehow; and
+I got to steal it some way that they won't suspicion that I done it.
+They've got a good thing here, and they ain't a-going to leave till
+they've played this family and this town for all they're worth, so I'll
+find a chance time enough. I'll steal it and hide it; and by and by, when
+I'm away down the river, I'll write a letter and tell Mary Jane where
+it's hid.  But I better hive it tonight if I can, because the doctor
+maybe hasn't let up as much as he lets on he has; he might scare them out
+of here yet.
+
+So, thinks I, I'll go and search them rooms.  Upstairs the hall was dark,
+but I found the duke's room, and started to paw around it with my hands;
+but I recollected it wouldn't be much like the king to let anybody else
+take care of that money but his own self; so then I went to his room and
+begun to paw around there.  But I see I couldn't do nothing without a
+candle, and I dasn't light one, of course.  So I judged I'd got to do the
+other thing--lay for them and eavesdrop.  About that time I hears their
+footsteps coming, and was going to skip under the bed; I reached for it,
+but it wasn't where I thought it would be; but I touched the curtain that
+hid Mary Jane's frocks, so I jumped in behind that and snuggled in
+amongst the gowns, and stood there perfectly still.
+
+They come in and shut the door; and the first thing the duke done was to
+get down and look under the bed.  Then I was glad I hadn't found the bed
+when I wanted it.  And yet, you know, it's kind of natural to hide under
+the bed when you are up to anything private.  They sets down then, and
+the king says:
+
+"Well, what is it?  And cut it middlin' short, because it's better for us
+to be down there a-whoopin' up the mournin' than up here givin' 'em a
+chance to talk us over."
+
+"Well, this is it, Capet.  I ain't easy; I ain't comfortable.  That
+doctor lays on my mind.  I wanted to know your plans.  I've got a notion,
+and I think it's a sound one."
+
+"What is it, duke?"
+
+"That we better glide out of this before three in the morning, and clip
+it down the river with what we've got.  Specially, seeing we got it so
+easy--GIVEN back to us, flung at our heads, as you may say, when of
+course we allowed to have to steal it back.  I'm for knocking off and
+lighting out."
+
+That made me feel pretty bad.  About an hour or two ago it would a been a
+little different, but now it made me feel bad and disappointed, The king
+rips out and says:
+
+"What!  And not sell out the rest o' the property?  March off like a
+passel of fools and leave eight or nine thous'n' dollars' worth o'
+property layin' around jest sufferin' to be scooped in?--and all good,
+salable stuff, too."
+
+The duke he grumbled; said the bag of gold was enough, and he didn't want
+to go no deeper--didn't want to rob a lot of orphans of EVERYTHING they
+had.
+
+"Why, how you talk!" says the king.  "We sha'n't rob 'em of nothing at
+all but jest this money.  The people that BUYS the property is the
+suff'rers; because as soon 's it's found out 'at we didn't own it--which
+won't be long after we've slid--the sale won't be valid, and it 'll all
+go back to the estate.  These yer orphans 'll git their house back agin,
+and that's enough for THEM; they're young and spry, and k'n easy earn a
+livin'.  THEY ain't a-goin to suffer.  Why, jest think--there's thous'n's
+and thous'n's that ain't nigh so well off.  Bless you, THEY ain't got
+noth'n' to complain of."
+
+Well, the king he talked him blind; so at last he give in, and said all
+right, but said he believed it was blamed foolishness to stay, and that
+doctor hanging over them.  But the king says:
+
+"Cuss the doctor!  What do we k'yer for HIM?  Hain't we got all the fools
+in town on our side?  And ain't that a big enough majority in any town?"
+
+So they got ready to go down stairs again.  The duke says:
+
+"I don't think we put that money in a good place."
+
+That cheered me up.  I'd begun to think I warn't going to get a hint of
+no kind to help me.  The king says:
+
+"Why?"
+
+"Because Mary Jane 'll be in mourning from this out; and first you know
+the nigger that does up the rooms will get an order to box these duds up
+and put 'em away; and do you reckon a nigger can run across money and not
+borrow some of it?"
+
+"Your head's level agin, duke," says the king; and he comes a-fumbling
+under the curtain two or three foot from where I was.  I stuck tight to
+the wall and kept mighty still, though quivery; and I wondered what them
+fellows would say to me if they catched me; and I tried to think what I'd
+better do if they did catch me.  But the king he got the bag before I
+could think more than about a half a thought, and he never suspicioned I
+was around.  They took and shoved the bag through a rip in the straw tick
+that was under the feather-bed, and crammed it in a foot or two amongst
+the straw and said it was all right now, because a nigger only makes up
+the feather-bed, and don't turn over the straw tick only about twice a
+year, and so it warn't in no danger of getting stole now.
+
+But I knowed better.  I had it out of there before they was half-way down
+stairs.  I groped along up to my cubby, and hid it there till I could get
+a chance to do better.  I judged I better hide it outside of the house
+somewheres, because if they missed it they would give the house a good
+ransacking:  I knowed that very well.  Then I turned in, with my clothes
+all on; but I couldn't a gone to sleep if I'd a wanted to, I was in such
+a sweat to get through with the business.  By and by I heard the king and
+the duke come up; so I rolled off my pallet and laid with my chin at the
+top of my ladder, and waited to see if anything was going to happen.  But
+nothing did.
+
+So I held on till all the late sounds had quit and the early ones hadn't
+begun yet; and then I slipped down the ladder.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVII.
+
+I CREPT to their doors and listened; they was snoring.  So I tiptoed
+along, and got down stairs all right.  There warn't a sound anywheres.  I
+peeped through a crack of the dining-room door, and see the men that was
+watching the corpse all sound asleep on their chairs.  The door was open
+into the parlor, where the corpse was laying, and there was a candle in
+both rooms. I passed along, and the parlor door was open; but I see there
+warn't nobody in there but the remainders of Peter; so I shoved on by;
+but the front door was locked, and the key wasn't there.  Just then I
+heard somebody coming down the stairs, back behind me.  I run in the
+parlor and took a swift look around, and the only place I see to hide the
+bag was in the coffin.  The lid was shoved along about a foot, showing
+the dead man's face down in there, with a wet cloth over it, and his
+shroud on.  I tucked the money-bag in under the lid, just down beyond
+where his hands was crossed, which made me creep, they was so cold, and
+then I run back across the room and in behind the door.
+
+The person coming was Mary Jane.  She went to the coffin, very soft, and
+kneeled down and looked in; then she put up her handkerchief, and I see
+she begun to cry, though I couldn't hear her, and her back was to me.  I
+slid out, and as I passed the dining-room I thought I'd make sure them
+watchers hadn't seen me; so I looked through the crack, and everything
+was all right.  They hadn't stirred.
+
+I slipped up to bed, feeling ruther blue, on accounts of the thing
+playing out that way after I had took so much trouble and run so much
+resk about it.  Says I, if it could stay where it is, all right; because
+when we get down the river a hundred mile or two I could write back to
+Mary Jane, and she could dig him up again and get it; but that ain't the
+thing that's going to happen; the thing that's going to happen is, the
+money 'll be found when they come to screw on the lid.  Then the king 'll
+get it again, and it 'll be a long day before he gives anybody another
+chance to smouch it from him. Of course I WANTED to slide down and get it
+out of there, but I dasn't try it.  Every minute it was getting earlier
+now, and pretty soon some of them watchers would begin to stir, and I
+might get catched--catched with six thousand dollars in my hands that
+nobody hadn't hired me to take care of.  I don't wish to be mixed up in
+no such business as that, I says to myself.
+
+When I got down stairs in the morning the parlor was shut up, and the
+watchers was gone.  There warn't nobody around but the family and the
+widow Bartley and our tribe.  I watched their faces to see if anything
+had been happening, but I couldn't tell.
+
+Towards the middle of the day the undertaker come with his man, and they
+set the coffin in the middle of the room on a couple of chairs, and then
+set all our chairs in rows, and borrowed more from the neighbors till the
+hall and the parlor and the dining-room was full.  I see the coffin lid
+was the way it was before, but I dasn't go to look in under it, with
+folks around.
+
+Then the people begun to flock in, and the beats and the girls took seats
+in the front row at the head of the coffin, and for a half an hour the
+people filed around slow, in single rank, and looked down at the dead
+man's face a minute, and some dropped in a tear, and it was all very
+still and solemn, only the girls and the beats holding handkerchiefs to
+their eyes and keeping their heads bent, and sobbing a little.  There
+warn't no other sound but the scraping of the feet on the floor and
+blowing noses--because people always blows them more at a funeral than
+they do at other places except church.
+
+When the place was packed full the undertaker he slid around in his black
+gloves with his softy soothering ways, putting on the last touches, and
+getting people and things all ship-shape and comfortable, and making no
+more sound than a cat.  He never spoke; he moved people around, he
+squeezed in late ones, he opened up passageways, and done it with nods,
+and signs with his hands.  Then he took his place over against the wall.
+He was the softest, glidingest, stealthiest man I ever see; and there
+warn't no more smile to him than there is to a ham.
+
+They had borrowed a melodeum--a sick one; and when everything was ready a
+young woman set down and worked it, and it was pretty skreeky and
+colicky, and everybody joined in and sung, and Peter was the only one
+that had a good thing, according to my notion.  Then the Reverend Hobson
+opened up, slow and solemn, and begun to talk; and straight off the most
+outrageous row busted out in the cellar a body ever heard; it was only
+one dog, but he made a most powerful racket, and he kept it up right
+along; the parson he had to stand there, over the coffin, and wait--you
+couldn't hear yourself think.  It was right down awkward, and nobody
+didn't seem to know what to do.  But pretty soon they see that
+long-legged undertaker make a sign to the preacher as much as to say,
+"Don't you worry--just depend on me."  Then he stooped down and begun to
+glide along the wall, just his shoulders showing over the people's heads.
+So he glided along, and the powwow and racket getting more and more
+outrageous all the time; and at last, when he had gone around two sides
+of the room, he disappears down cellar.  Then in about two seconds we
+heard a whack, and the dog he finished up with a most amazing howl or
+two, and then everything was dead still, and the parson begun his solemn
+talk where he left off.  In a minute or two here comes this undertaker's
+back and shoulders gliding along the wall again; and so he glided and
+glided around three sides of the room, and then rose up, and shaded his
+mouth with his hands, and stretched his neck out towards the preacher,
+over the people's heads, and says, in a kind of a coarse whisper, "HE HAD
+A RAT!"  Then he drooped down and glided along the wall again to his
+place.  You could see it was a great satisfaction to the people, because
+naturally they wanted to know.  A little thing like that don't cost
+nothing, and it's just the little things that makes a man to be looked up
+to and liked.  There warn't no more popular man in town than what that
+undertaker was.
+
+Well, the funeral sermon was very good, but pison long and tiresome; and
+then the king he shoved in and got off some of his usual rubbage, and at
+last the job was through, and the undertaker begun to sneak up on the
+coffin with his screw-driver.  I was in a sweat then, and watched him
+pretty keen. But he never meddled at all; just slid the lid along as soft
+as mush, and screwed it down tight and fast.  So there I was!  I didn't
+know whether the money was in there or not.  So, says I, s'pose somebody
+has hogged that bag on the sly?--now how do I know whether to write to
+Mary Jane or not? S'pose she dug him up and didn't find nothing, what
+would she think of me? Blame it, I says, I might get hunted up and
+jailed; I'd better lay low and keep dark, and not write at all; the
+thing's awful mixed now; trying to better it, I've worsened it a hundred
+times, and I wish to goodness I'd just let it alone, dad fetch the whole
+business!
+
+They buried him, and we come back home, and I went to watching faces
+again--I couldn't help it, and I couldn't rest easy.  But nothing come
+of it; the faces didn't tell me nothing.
+
+The king he visited around in the evening, and sweetened everybody up,
+and made himself ever so friendly; and he give out the idea that his
+congregation over in England would be in a sweat about him, so he must
+hurry and settle up the estate right away and leave for home.  He was
+very sorry he was so pushed, and so was everybody; they wished he could
+stay longer, but they said they could see it couldn't be done.  And he
+said of course him and William would take the girls home with them; and
+that pleased everybody too, because then the girls would be well fixed
+and amongst their own relations; and it pleased the girls, too--tickled
+them so they clean forgot they ever had a trouble in the world; and told
+him to sell out as quick as he wanted to, they would be ready.  Them poor
+things was that glad and happy it made my heart ache to see them getting
+fooled and lied to so, but I didn't see no safe way for me to chip in and
+change the general tune.
+
+Well, blamed if the king didn't bill the house and the niggers and all
+the property for auction straight off--sale two days after the funeral;
+but anybody could buy private beforehand if they wanted to.
+
+So the next day after the funeral, along about noon-time, the girls' joy
+got the first jolt.  A couple of nigger traders come along, and the king
+sold them the niggers reasonable, for three-day drafts as they called it,
+and away they went, the two sons up the river to Memphis, and their
+mother down the river to Orleans.  I thought them poor girls and them
+niggers would break their hearts for grief; they cried around each other,
+and took on so it most made me down sick to see it.  The girls said they
+hadn't ever dreamed of seeing the family separated or sold away from the
+town.  I can't ever get it out of my memory, the sight of them poor
+miserable girls and niggers hanging around each other's necks and crying;
+and I reckon I couldn't a stood it all, but would a had to bust out and
+tell on our gang if I hadn't knowed the sale warn't no account and the
+niggers would be back home in a week or two.
+
+The thing made a big stir in the town, too, and a good many come out
+flatfooted and said it was scandalous to separate the mother and the
+children that way.  It injured the frauds some; but the old fool he
+bulled right along, spite of all the duke could say or do, and I tell you
+the duke was powerful uneasy.
+
+Next day was auction day.  About broad day in the morning the king and
+the duke come up in the garret and woke me up, and I see by their look
+that there was trouble.  The king says:
+
+"Was you in my room night before last?"
+
+"No, your majesty"--which was the way I always called him when nobody but
+our gang warn't around.
+
+"Was you in there yisterday er last night?"
+
+"No, your majesty."
+
+"Honor bright, now--no lies."
+
+"Honor bright, your majesty, I'm telling you the truth.  I hain't been
+a-near your room since Miss Mary Jane took you and the duke and showed it
+to you."
+
+The duke says:
+
+"Have you seen anybody else go in there?"
+
+"No, your grace, not as I remember, I believe."
+
+"Stop and think."
+
+I studied awhile and see my chance; then I says:
+
+"Well, I see the niggers go in there several times."
+
+Both of them gave a little jump, and looked like they hadn't ever
+expected it, and then like they HAD.  Then the duke says:
+
+"What, all of them?"
+
+"No--leastways, not all at once--that is, I don't think I ever see them
+all come OUT at once but just one time."
+
+"Hello!  When was that?"
+
+"It was the day we had the funeral.  In the morning.  It warn't early,
+because I overslept.  I was just starting down the ladder, and I see
+them."
+
+"Well, go on, GO on!  What did they do?  How'd they act?"
+
+"They didn't do nothing.  And they didn't act anyway much, as fur as I
+see. They tiptoed away; so I seen, easy enough, that they'd shoved in
+there to do up your majesty's room, or something, s'posing you was up;
+and found you WARN'T up, and so they was hoping to slide out of the way
+of trouble without waking you up, if they hadn't already waked you up."
+
+"Great guns, THIS is a go!" says the king; and both of them looked pretty
+sick and tolerable silly.  They stood there a-thinking and scratching
+their heads a minute, and the duke he bust into a kind of a little raspy
+chuckle, and says:
+
+"It does beat all how neat the niggers played their hand.  They let on to
+be SORRY they was going out of this region!  And I believed they WAS
+sorry, and so did you, and so did everybody.  Don't ever tell ME any more
+that a nigger ain't got any histrionic talent.  Why, the way they played
+that thing it would fool ANYBODY.  In my opinion, there's a fortune in
+'em.  If I had capital and a theater, I wouldn't want a better lay-out
+than that--and here we've gone and sold 'em for a song.  Yes, and ain't
+privileged to sing the song yet.  Say, where IS that song--that draft?"
+
+"In the bank for to be collected.  Where WOULD it be?"
+
+"Well, THAT'S all right then, thank goodness."
+
+Says I, kind of timid-like:
+
+"Is something gone wrong?"
+
+The king whirls on me and rips out:
+
+"None o' your business!  You keep your head shet, and mind y'r own
+affairs--if you got any.  Long as you're in this town don't you forgit
+THAT--you hear?"  Then he says to the duke, "We got to jest swaller it
+and say noth'n':  mum's the word for US."
+
+As they was starting down the ladder the duke he chuckles again, and
+says:
+
+"Quick sales AND small profits!  It's a good business--yes."
+
+The king snarls around on him and says:
+
+"I was trying to do for the best in sellin' 'em out so quick.  If the
+profits has turned out to be none, lackin' considable, and none to carry,
+is it my fault any more'n it's yourn?"
+
+"Well, THEY'D be in this house yet and we WOULDN'T if I could a got my
+advice listened to."
+
+The king sassed back as much as was safe for him, and then swapped around
+and lit into ME again.  He give me down the banks for not coming and
+TELLING him I see the niggers come out of his room acting that way--said
+any fool would a KNOWED something was up.  And then waltzed in and cussed
+HIMSELF awhile, and said it all come of him not laying late and taking
+his natural rest that morning, and he'd be blamed if he'd ever do it
+again.  So they went off a-jawing; and I felt dreadful glad I'd worked it
+all off on to the niggers, and yet hadn't done the niggers no harm by it.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVIII.
+
+BY and by it was getting-up time.  So I come down the ladder and started
+for down-stairs; but as I come to the girls' room the door was open, and
+I see Mary Jane setting by her old hair trunk, which was open and she'd
+been packing things in it--getting ready to go to England.  But she had
+stopped now with a folded gown in her lap, and had her face in her hands,
+crying.  I felt awful bad to see it; of course anybody would.  I went in
+there and says:
+
+"Miss Mary Jane, you can't a-bear to see people in trouble, and I can't
+--most always.  Tell me about it."
+
+So she done it.  And it was the niggers--I just expected it.  She said
+the beautiful trip to England was most about spoiled for her; she didn't
+know HOW she was ever going to be happy there, knowing the mother and the
+children warn't ever going to see each other no more--and then busted out
+bitterer than ever, and flung up her hands, and says:
+
+"Oh, dear, dear, to think they ain't EVER going to see each other any
+more!"
+
+"But they WILL--and inside of two weeks--and I KNOW it!" says I.
+
+Laws, it was out before I could think!  And before I could budge she
+throws her arms around my neck and told me to say it AGAIN, say it AGAIN,
+say it AGAIN!
+
+I see I had spoke too sudden and said too much, and was in a close place.
+I asked her to let me think a minute; and she set there, very impatient
+and excited and handsome, but looking kind of happy and eased-up, like a
+person that's had a tooth pulled out.  So I went to studying it out.  I
+says to myself, I reckon a body that ups and tells the truth when he is
+in a tight place is taking considerable many resks, though I ain't had no
+experience, and can't say for certain; but it looks so to me, anyway; and
+yet here's a case where I'm blest if it don't look to me like the truth
+is better and actuly SAFER than a lie.  I must lay it by in my mind, and
+think it over some time or other, it's so kind of strange and unregular.
+I never see nothing like it.  Well, I says to myself at last, I'm a-going
+to chance it; I'll up and tell the truth this time, though it does seem
+most like setting down on a kag of powder and touching it off just to see
+where you'll go to. Then I says:
+
+"Miss Mary Jane, is there any place out of town a little ways where you
+could go and stay three or four days?"
+
+"Yes; Mr. Lothrop's.  Why?"
+
+"Never mind why yet.  If I'll tell you how I know the niggers will see
+each other again inside of two weeks--here in this house--and PROVE how I
+know it--will you go to Mr. Lothrop's and stay four days?"
+
+"Four days!" she says; "I'll stay a year!"
+
+"All right," I says, "I don't want nothing more out of YOU than just your
+word--I druther have it than another man's kiss-the-Bible."  She smiled
+and reddened up very sweet, and I says, "If you don't mind it, I'll shut
+the door--and bolt it."
+
+Then I come back and set down again, and says:
+
+"Don't you holler.  Just set still and take it like a man.  I got to tell
+the truth, and you want to brace up, Miss Mary, because it's a bad kind,
+and going to be hard to take, but there ain't no help for it.  These
+uncles of yourn ain't no uncles at all; they're a couple of frauds
+--regular dead-beats.  There, now we're over the worst of it, you can stand
+the rest middling easy."
+
+It jolted her up like everything, of course; but I was over the shoal
+water now, so I went right along, her eyes a-blazing higher and higher
+all the time, and told her every blame thing, from where we first struck
+that young fool going up to the steamboat, clear through to where she
+flung herself on to the king's breast at the front door and he kissed her
+sixteen or seventeen times--and then up she jumps, with her face afire
+like sunset, and says:
+
+"The brute!  Come, don't waste a minute--not a SECOND--we'll have them
+tarred and feathered, and flung in the river!"
+
+Says I:
+
+"Cert'nly.  But do you mean BEFORE you go to Mr. Lothrop's, or--"
+
+"Oh," she says, "what am I THINKING about!" she says, and set right down
+again.  "Don't mind what I said--please don't--you WON'T, now, WILL you?"
+Laying her silky hand on mine in that kind of a way that I said I would
+die first.  "I never thought, I was so stirred up," she says; "now go on,
+and I won't do so any more.  You tell me what to do, and whatever you say
+I'll do it."
+
+"Well," I says, "it's a rough gang, them two frauds, and I'm fixed so I
+got to travel with them a while longer, whether I want to or not--I
+druther not tell you why; and if you was to blow on them this town would
+get me out of their claws, and I'd be all right; but there'd be another
+person that you don't know about who'd be in big trouble.  Well, we got
+to save HIM, hain't we?  Of course.  Well, then, we won't blow on them."
+
+Saying them words put a good idea in my head.  I see how maybe I could
+get me and Jim rid of the frauds; get them jailed here, and then leave.
+But I didn't want to run the raft in the daytime without anybody aboard
+to answer questions but me; so I didn't want the plan to begin working
+till pretty late to-night.  I says:
+
+"Miss Mary Jane, I'll tell you what we'll do, and you won't have to stay
+at Mr. Lothrop's so long, nuther.  How fur is it?"
+
+"A little short of four miles--right out in the country, back here."
+
+"Well, that 'll answer.  Now you go along out there, and lay low till
+nine or half-past to-night, and then get them to fetch you home again
+--tell them you've thought of something.  If you get here before eleven put
+a candle in this window, and if I don't turn up wait TILL eleven, and
+THEN if I don't turn up it means I'm gone, and out of the way, and safe.
+Then you come out and spread the news around, and get these beats
+jailed."
+
+"Good," she says, "I'll do it."
+
+"And if it just happens so that I don't get away, but get took up along
+with them, you must up and say I told you the whole thing beforehand, and
+you must stand by me all you can."
+
+"Stand by you! indeed I will.  They sha'n't touch a hair of your head!"
+she says, and I see her nostrils spread and her eyes snap when she said
+it, too.
+
+"If I get away I sha'n't be here," I says, "to prove these rapscallions
+ain't your uncles, and I couldn't do it if I WAS here.  I could swear
+they was beats and bummers, that's all, though that's worth something.
+Well, there's others can do that better than what I can, and they're
+people that ain't going to be doubted as quick as I'd be.  I'll tell you
+how to find them.  Gimme a pencil and a piece of paper.  There--'Royal
+Nonesuch, Bricksville.'  Put it away, and don't lose it.  When the court
+wants to find out something about these two, let them send up to
+Bricksville and say they've got the men that played the Royal Nonesuch,
+and ask for some witnesses--why, you'll have that entire town down here
+before you can hardly wink, Miss Mary.  And they'll come a-biling, too."
+
+I judged we had got everything fixed about right now.  So I says:
+
+"Just let the auction go right along, and don't worry.  Nobody don't have
+to pay for the things they buy till a whole day after the auction on
+accounts of the short notice, and they ain't going out of this till they
+get that money; and the way we've fixed it the sale ain't going to count,
+and they ain't going to get no money.  It's just like the way it was with
+the niggers--it warn't no sale, and the niggers will be back before
+long.  Why, they can't collect the money for the NIGGERS yet--they're in
+the worst kind of a fix, Miss Mary."
+
+"Well," she says, "I'll run down to breakfast now, and then I'll start
+straight for Mr. Lothrop's."
+
+"'Deed, THAT ain't the ticket, Miss Mary Jane," I says, "by no manner of
+means; go BEFORE breakfast."
+
+"Why?"
+
+"What did you reckon I wanted you to go at all for, Miss Mary?"
+
+"Well, I never thought--and come to think, I don't know.  What was it?"
+
+"Why, it's because you ain't one of these leather-face people.  I don't
+want no better book than what your face is.  A body can set down and read
+it off like coarse print.  Do you reckon you can go and face your uncles
+when they come to kiss you good-morning, and never--"
+
+"There, there, don't!  Yes, I'll go before breakfast--I'll be glad to.
+And leave my sisters with them?"
+
+"Yes; never mind about them.  They've got to stand it yet a while.  They
+might suspicion something if all of you was to go.  I don't want you to
+see them, nor your sisters, nor nobody in this town; if a neighbor was to
+ask how is your uncles this morning your face would tell something.  No,
+you go right along, Miss Mary Jane, and I'll fix it with all of them.
+I'll tell Miss Susan to give your love to your uncles and say you've went
+away for a few hours for to get a little rest and change, or to see a
+friend, and you'll be back to-night or early in the morning."
+
+"Gone to see a friend is all right, but I won't have my love given to
+them."
+
+"Well, then, it sha'n't be."  It was well enough to tell HER so--no harm
+in it.  It was only a little thing to do, and no trouble; and it's the
+little things that smooths people's roads the most, down here below; it
+would make Mary Jane comfortable, and it wouldn't cost nothing.  Then I
+says:  "There's one more thing--that bag of money."
+
+"Well, they've got that; and it makes me feel pretty silly to think HOW
+they got it."
+
+"No, you're out, there.  They hain't got it."
+
+"Why, who's got it?"
+
+"I wish I knowed, but I don't.  I HAD it, because I stole it from them;
+and I stole it to give to you; and I know where I hid it, but I'm afraid
+it ain't there no more.  I'm awful sorry, Miss Mary Jane, I'm just as
+sorry as I can be; but I done the best I could; I did honest.  I come
+nigh getting caught, and I had to shove it into the first place I come
+to, and run--and it warn't a good place."
+
+"Oh, stop blaming yourself--it's too bad to do it, and I won't allow it
+--you couldn't help it; it wasn't your fault.  Where did you hide it?"
+
+I didn't want to set her to thinking about her troubles again; and I
+couldn't seem to get my mouth to tell her what would make her see that
+corpse laying in the coffin with that bag of money on his stomach.  So
+for a minute I didn't say nothing; then I says:
+
+"I'd ruther not TELL you where I put it, Miss Mary Jane, if you don't
+mind letting me off; but I'll write it for you on a piece of paper, and
+you can read it along the road to Mr. Lothrop's, if you want to.  Do you
+reckon that 'll do?"
+
+"Oh, yes."
+
+So I wrote:  "I put it in the coffin.  It was in there when you was
+crying there, away in the night.  I was behind the door, and I was mighty
+sorry for you, Miss Mary Jane."
+
+It made my eyes water a little to remember her crying there all by
+herself in the night, and them devils laying there right under her own
+roof, shaming her and robbing her; and when I folded it up and give it to
+her I see the water come into her eyes, too; and she shook me by the
+hand, hard, and says:
+
+"GOOD-bye.  I'm going to do everything just as you've told me; and if I
+don't ever see you again, I sha'n't ever forget you and I'll think of
+you a many and a many a time, and I'll PRAY for you, too!"--and she was
+gone.
+
+Pray for me!  I reckoned if she knowed me she'd take a job that was more
+nearer her size.  But I bet she done it, just the same--she was just that
+kind.  She had the grit to pray for Judus if she took the notion--there
+warn't no back-down to her, I judge.  You may say what you want to, but
+in my opinion she had more sand in her than any girl I ever see; in my
+opinion she was just full of sand.  It sounds like flattery, but it ain't
+no flattery.  And when it comes to beauty--and goodness, too--she lays
+over them all.  I hain't ever seen her since that time that I see her go
+out of that door; no, I hain't ever seen her since, but I reckon I've
+thought of her a many and a many a million times, and of her saying she
+would pray for me; and if ever I'd a thought it would do any good for me
+to pray for HER, blamed if I wouldn't a done it or bust.
+
+Well, Mary Jane she lit out the back way, I reckon; because nobody see
+her go.  When I struck Susan and the hare-lip, I says:
+
+"What's the name of them people over on t'other side of the river that
+you all goes to see sometimes?"
+
+They says:
+
+"There's several; but it's the Proctors, mainly."
+
+"That's the name," I says; "I most forgot it.  Well, Miss Mary Jane she
+told me to tell you she's gone over there in a dreadful hurry--one of
+them's sick."
+
+"Which one?"
+
+"I don't know; leastways, I kinder forget; but I thinks it's--"
+
+"Sakes alive, I hope it ain't HANNER?"
+
+"I'm sorry to say it," I says, "but Hanner's the very one."
+
+"My goodness, and she so well only last week!  Is she took bad?"
+
+"It ain't no name for it.  They set up with her all night, Miss Mary Jane
+said, and they don't think she'll last many hours."
+
+"Only think of that, now!  What's the matter with her?"
+
+I couldn't think of anything reasonable, right off that way, so I says:
+
+"Mumps."
+
+"Mumps your granny!  They don't set up with people that's got the mumps."
+
+"They don't, don't they?  You better bet they do with THESE mumps.  These
+mumps is different.  It's a new kind, Miss Mary Jane said."
+
+"How's it a new kind?"
+
+"Because it's mixed up with other things."
+
+"What other things?"
+
+"Well, measles, and whooping-cough, and erysiplas, and consumption, and
+yaller janders, and brain-fever, and I don't know what all."
+
+"My land!  And they call it the MUMPS?"
+
+"That's what Miss Mary Jane said."
+
+"Well, what in the nation do they call it the MUMPS for?"
+
+"Why, because it IS the mumps.  That's what it starts with."
+
+"Well, ther' ain't no sense in it.  A body might stump his toe, and take
+pison, and fall down the well, and break his neck, and bust his brains
+out, and somebody come along and ask what killed him, and some numskull
+up and say, 'Why, he stumped his TOE.'  Would ther' be any sense in that?
+NO.  And ther' ain't no sense in THIS, nuther.  Is it ketching?"
+
+"Is it KETCHING?  Why, how you talk.  Is a HARROW catching--in the dark?
+If you don't hitch on to one tooth, you're bound to on another, ain't
+you? And you can't get away with that tooth without fetching the whole
+harrow along, can you?  Well, these kind of mumps is a kind of a harrow,
+as you may say--and it ain't no slouch of a harrow, nuther, you come to
+get it hitched on good."
+
+"Well, it's awful, I think," says the hare-lip.  "I'll go to Uncle Harvey
+and--"
+
+"Oh, yes," I says, "I WOULD.  Of COURSE I would.  I wouldn't lose no
+time."
+
+"Well, why wouldn't you?"
+
+"Just look at it a minute, and maybe you can see.  Hain't your uncles
+obleegd to get along home to England as fast as they can?  And do you
+reckon they'd be mean enough to go off and leave you to go all that
+journey by yourselves?  YOU know they'll wait for you.  So fur, so good.
+Your uncle Harvey's a preacher, ain't he?  Very well, then; is a PREACHER
+going to deceive a steamboat clerk? is he going to deceive a SHIP CLERK?
+--so as to get them to let Miss Mary Jane go aboard?  Now YOU know he
+ain't.  What WILL he do, then?  Why, he'll say, 'It's a great pity, but
+my church matters has got to get along the best way they can; for my
+niece has been exposed to the dreadful pluribus-unum mumps, and so it's
+my bounden duty to set down here and wait the three months it takes to
+show on her if she's got it.'  But never mind, if you think it's best to
+tell your uncle Harvey--"
+
+"Shucks, and stay fooling around here when we could all be having good
+times in England whilst we was waiting to find out whether Mary Jane's
+got it or not?  Why, you talk like a muggins."
+
+"Well, anyway, maybe you'd better tell some of the neighbors."
+
+"Listen at that, now.  You do beat all for natural stupidness.  Can't you
+SEE that THEY'D go and tell?  Ther' ain't no way but just to not tell
+anybody at ALL."
+
+"Well, maybe you're right--yes, I judge you ARE right."
+
+"But I reckon we ought to tell Uncle Harvey she's gone out a while,
+anyway, so he won't be uneasy about her?"
+
+"Yes, Miss Mary Jane she wanted you to do that.  She says, 'Tell them to
+give Uncle Harvey and William my love and a kiss, and say I've run over
+the river to see Mr.'--Mr.--what IS the name of that rich family your
+uncle Peter used to think so much of?--I mean the one that--"
+
+"Why, you must mean the Apthorps, ain't it?"
+
+"Of course; bother them kind of names, a body can't ever seem to remember
+them, half the time, somehow.  Yes, she said, say she has run over for to
+ask the Apthorps to be sure and come to the auction and buy this house,
+because she allowed her uncle Peter would ruther they had it than anybody
+else; and she's going to stick to them till they say they'll come, and
+then, if she ain't too tired, she's coming home; and if she is, she'll be
+home in the morning anyway.  She said, don't say nothing about the
+Proctors, but only about the Apthorps--which 'll be perfectly true,
+because she is going there to speak about their buying the house; I know
+it, because she told me so herself."
+
+"All right," they said, and cleared out to lay for their uncles, and give
+them the love and the kisses, and tell them the message.
+
+Everything was all right now.  The girls wouldn't say nothing because
+they wanted to go to England; and the king and the duke would ruther Mary
+Jane was off working for the auction than around in reach of Doctor
+Robinson.  I felt very good; I judged I had done it pretty neat--I
+reckoned Tom Sawyer couldn't a done it no neater himself.  Of course he
+would a throwed more style into it, but I can't do that very handy, not
+being brung up to it.
+
+Well, they held the auction in the public square, along towards the end
+of the afternoon, and it strung along, and strung along, and the old man
+he was on hand and looking his level pisonest, up there longside of the
+auctioneer, and chipping in a little Scripture now and then, or a little
+goody-goody saying of some kind, and the duke he was around goo-gooing
+for sympathy all he knowed how, and just spreading himself generly.
+
+But by and by the thing dragged through, and everything was sold
+--everything but a little old trifling lot in the graveyard.  So they'd got
+to work that off--I never see such a girafft as the king was for wanting
+to swallow EVERYTHING.  Well, whilst they was at it a steamboat landed,
+and in about two minutes up comes a crowd a-whooping and yelling and
+laughing and carrying on, and singing out:
+
+"HERE'S your opposition line! here's your two sets o' heirs to old Peter
+Wilks--and you pays your money and you takes your choice!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIX.
+
+
+THEY was fetching a very nice-looking old gentleman along, and a
+nice-looking younger one, with his right arm in a sling.  And, my souls,
+how the people yelled and laughed, and kept it up.  But I didn't see no
+joke about it, and I judged it would strain the duke and the king some to
+see any.  I reckoned they'd turn pale.  But no, nary a pale did THEY
+turn. The duke he never let on he suspicioned what was up, but just went
+a goo-gooing around, happy and satisfied, like a jug that's googling out
+buttermilk; and as for the king, he just gazed and gazed down sorrowful
+on them new-comers like it give him the stomach-ache in his very heart to
+think there could be such frauds and rascals in the world.  Oh, he done
+it admirable.  Lots of the principal people gethered around the king, to
+let him see they was on his side.  That old gentleman that had just come
+looked all puzzled to death.  Pretty soon he begun to speak, and I see
+straight off he pronounced LIKE an Englishman--not the king's way, though
+the king's WAS pretty good for an imitation.  I can't give the old gent's
+words, nor I can't imitate him; but he turned around to the crowd, and
+says, about like this:
+
+"This is a surprise to me which I wasn't looking for; and I'll
+acknowledge, candid and frank, I ain't very well fixed to meet it and
+answer it; for my brother and me has had misfortunes; he's broke his arm,
+and our baggage got put off at a town above here last night in the night
+by a mistake.  I am Peter Wilks' brother Harvey, and this is his brother
+William, which can't hear nor speak--and can't even make signs to amount
+to much, now't he's only got one hand to work them with.  We are who we
+say we are; and in a day or two, when I get the baggage, I can prove it.
+But up till then I won't say nothing more, but go to the hotel and wait."
+
+So him and the new dummy started off; and the king he laughs, and
+blethers out:
+
+"Broke his arm--VERY likely, AIN'T it?--and very convenient, too, for a
+fraud that's got to make signs, and ain't learnt how.  Lost their
+baggage! That's MIGHTY good!--and mighty ingenious--under the
+CIRCUMSTANCES!"
+
+So he laughed again; and so did everybody else, except three or four, or
+maybe half a dozen.  One of these was that doctor; another one was a
+sharp-looking gentleman, with a carpet-bag of the old-fashioned kind made
+out of carpet-stuff, that had just come off of the steamboat and was
+talking to him in a low voice, and glancing towards the king now and then
+and nodding their heads--it was Levi Bell, the lawyer that was gone up to
+Louisville; and another one was a big rough husky that come along and
+listened to all the old gentleman said, and was listening to the king
+now. And when the king got done this husky up and says:
+
+"Say, looky here; if you are Harvey Wilks, when'd you come to this town?"
+
+"The day before the funeral, friend," says the king.
+
+"But what time o' day?"
+
+"In the evenin'--'bout an hour er two before sundown."
+
+"HOW'D you come?"
+
+"I come down on the Susan Powell from Cincinnati."
+
+"Well, then, how'd you come to be up at the Pint in the MORNIN'--in a
+canoe?"
+
+"I warn't up at the Pint in the mornin'."
+
+"It's a lie."
+
+Several of them jumped for him and begged him not to talk that way to an
+old man and a preacher.
+
+"Preacher be hanged, he's a fraud and a liar.  He was up at the Pint that
+mornin'.  I live up there, don't I?  Well, I was up there, and he was up
+there.  I see him there.  He come in a canoe, along with Tim Collins and
+a boy."
+
+The doctor he up and says:
+
+"Would you know the boy again if you was to see him, Hines?"
+
+"I reckon I would, but I don't know.  Why, yonder he is, now.  I know him
+perfectly easy."
+
+It was me he pointed at.  The doctor says:
+
+"Neighbors, I don't know whether the new couple is frauds or not; but if
+THESE two ain't frauds, I am an idiot, that's all.  I think it's our duty
+to see that they don't get away from here till we've looked into this
+thing. Come along, Hines; come along, the rest of you.  We'll take these
+fellows to the tavern and affront them with t'other couple, and I reckon
+we'll find out SOMETHING before we get through."
+
+It was nuts for the crowd, though maybe not for the king's friends; so we
+all started.  It was about sundown.  The doctor he led me along by the
+hand, and was plenty kind enough, but he never let go my hand.
+
+We all got in a big room in the hotel, and lit up some candles, and
+fetched in the new couple.  First, the doctor says:
+
+"I don't wish to be too hard on these two men, but I think they're
+frauds, and they may have complices that we don't know nothing about.  If
+they have, won't the complices get away with that bag of gold Peter Wilks
+left?  It ain't unlikely.  If these men ain't frauds, they won't object
+to sending for that money and letting us keep it till they prove they're
+all right--ain't that so?"
+
+Everybody agreed to that.  So I judged they had our gang in a pretty
+tight place right at the outstart.  But the king he only looked
+sorrowful, and says:
+
+"Gentlemen, I wish the money was there, for I ain't got no disposition to
+throw anything in the way of a fair, open, out-and-out investigation o'
+this misable business; but, alas, the money ain't there; you k'n send and
+see, if you want to."
+
+"Where is it, then?"
+
+"Well, when my niece give it to me to keep for her I took and hid it
+inside o' the straw tick o' my bed, not wishin' to bank it for the few
+days we'd be here, and considerin' the bed a safe place, we not bein'
+used to niggers, and suppos'n' 'em honest, like servants in England.  The
+niggers stole it the very next mornin' after I had went down stairs; and
+when I sold 'em I hadn't missed the money yit, so they got clean away
+with it.  My servant here k'n tell you 'bout it, gentlemen."
+
+The doctor and several said "Shucks!" and I see nobody didn't altogether
+believe him.  One man asked me if I see the niggers steal it.  I said no,
+but I see them sneaking out of the room and hustling away, and I never
+thought nothing, only I reckoned they was afraid they had waked up my
+master and was trying to get away before he made trouble with them.  That
+was all they asked me.  Then the doctor whirls on me and says:
+
+"Are YOU English, too?"
+
+I says yes; and him and some others laughed, and said, "Stuff!"
+
+Well, then they sailed in on the general investigation, and there we had
+it, up and down, hour in, hour out, and nobody never said a word about
+supper, nor ever seemed to think about it--and so they kept it up, and
+kept it up; and it WAS the worst mixed-up thing you ever see.  They made
+the king tell his yarn, and they made the old gentleman tell his'n; and
+anybody but a lot of prejudiced chuckleheads would a SEEN that the old
+gentleman was spinning truth and t'other one lies.  And by and by they
+had me up to tell what I knowed.  The king he give me a left-handed look
+out of the corner of his eye, and so I knowed enough to talk on the right
+side.  I begun to tell about Sheffield, and how we lived there, and all
+about the English Wilkses, and so on; but I didn't get pretty fur till
+the doctor begun to laugh; and Levi Bell, the lawyer, says:
+
+"Set down, my boy; I wouldn't strain myself if I was you.  I reckon you
+ain't used to lying, it don't seem to come handy; what you want is
+practice.  You do it pretty awkward."
+
+I didn't care nothing for the compliment, but I was glad to be let off,
+anyway.
+
+The doctor he started to say something, and turns and says:
+
+"If you'd been in town at first, Levi Bell--" The king broke in and
+reached out his hand, and says:
+
+"Why, is this my poor dead brother's old friend that he's wrote so often
+about?"
+
+The lawyer and him shook hands, and the lawyer smiled and looked pleased,
+and they talked right along awhile, and then got to one side and talked
+low; and at last the lawyer speaks up and says:
+
+"That 'll fix it.  I'll take the order and send it, along with your
+brother's, and then they'll know it's all right."
+
+So they got some paper and a pen, and the king he set down and twisted
+his head to one side, and chawed his tongue, and scrawled off something;
+and then they give the pen to the duke--and then for the first time the
+duke looked sick.  But he took the pen and wrote.  So then the lawyer
+turns to the new old gentleman and says:
+
+"You and your brother please write a line or two and sign your names."
+
+The old gentleman wrote, but nobody couldn't read it.  The lawyer looked
+powerful astonished, and says:
+
+"Well, it beats ME"--and snaked a lot of old letters out of his pocket,
+and examined them, and then examined the old man's writing, and then THEM
+again; and then says:  "These old letters is from Harvey Wilks; and
+here's THESE two handwritings, and anybody can see they didn't write
+them" (the king and the duke looked sold and foolish, I tell you, to see
+how the lawyer had took them in), "and here's THIS old gentleman's hand
+writing, and anybody can tell, easy enough, HE didn't write them--fact
+is, the scratches he makes ain't properly WRITING at all.  Now, here's
+some letters from--"
+
+The new old gentleman says:
+
+"If you please, let me explain.  Nobody can read my hand but my brother
+there--so he copies for me.  It's HIS hand you've got there, not mine."
+
+"WELL!" says the lawyer, "this IS a state of things.  I've got some of
+William's letters, too; so if you'll get him to write a line or so we can
+com--"
+
+"He CAN'T write with his left hand," says the old gentleman.  "If he
+could use his right hand, you would see that he wrote his own letters and
+mine too.  Look at both, please--they're by the same hand."
+
+The lawyer done it, and says:
+
+"I believe it's so--and if it ain't so, there's a heap stronger
+resemblance than I'd noticed before, anyway.  Well, well, well!  I
+thought we was right on the track of a solution, but it's gone to grass,
+partly.  But anyway, one thing is proved--THESE two ain't either of 'em
+Wilkses"--and he wagged his head towards the king and the duke.
+
+Well, what do you think?  That muleheaded old fool wouldn't give in THEN!
+Indeed he wouldn't.  Said it warn't no fair test.  Said his brother
+William was the cussedest joker in the world, and hadn't tried to write
+--HE see William was going to play one of his jokes the minute he put the
+pen to paper.  And so he warmed up and went warbling right along till he
+was actuly beginning to believe what he was saying HIMSELF; but pretty
+soon the new gentleman broke in, and says:
+
+"I've thought of something.  Is there anybody here that helped to lay out
+my br--helped to lay out the late Peter Wilks for burying?"
+
+"Yes," says somebody, "me and Ab Turner done it.  We're both here."
+
+Then the old man turns towards the king, and says:
+
+"Perhaps this gentleman can tell me what was tattooed on his breast?"
+
+Blamed if the king didn't have to brace up mighty quick, or he'd a
+squshed down like a bluff bank that the river has cut under, it took him
+so sudden; and, mind you, it was a thing that was calculated to make most
+ANYBODY sqush to get fetched such a solid one as that without any notice,
+because how was HE going to know what was tattooed on the man?  He
+whitened a little; he couldn't help it; and it was mighty still in there,
+and everybody bending a little forwards and gazing at him.  Says I to
+myself, NOW he'll throw up the sponge--there ain't no more use.  Well,
+did he?  A body can't hardly believe it, but he didn't.  I reckon he
+thought he'd keep the thing up till he tired them people out, so they'd
+thin out, and him and the duke could break loose and get away.  Anyway,
+he set there, and pretty soon he begun to smile, and says:
+
+"Mf!  It's a VERY tough question, AIN'T it!  YES, sir, I k'n tell you
+what's tattooed on his breast.  It's jest a small, thin, blue arrow
+--that's what it is; and if you don't look clost, you can't see it.  NOW
+what do you say--hey?"
+
+Well, I never see anything like that old blister for clean out-and-out
+cheek.
+
+The new old gentleman turns brisk towards Ab Turner and his pard, and his
+eye lights up like he judged he'd got the king THIS time, and says:
+
+"There--you've heard what he said!  Was there any such mark on Peter
+Wilks' breast?"
+
+Both of them spoke up and says:
+
+"We didn't see no such mark."
+
+"Good!" says the old gentleman.  "Now, what you DID see on his breast was
+a small dim P, and a B (which is an initial he dropped when he was
+young), and a W, with dashes between them, so:  P--B--W"--and he marked
+them that way on a piece of paper.  "Come, ain't that what you saw?"
+
+Both of them spoke up again, and says:
+
+"No, we DIDN'T.  We never seen any marks at all."
+
+Well, everybody WAS in a state of mind now, and they sings out:
+
+"The whole BILIN' of 'm 's frauds!  Le's duck 'em! le's drown 'em! le's
+ride 'em on a rail!" and everybody was whooping at once, and there was a
+rattling powwow.  But the lawyer he jumps on the table and yells, and
+says:
+
+"Gentlemen--gentleMEN!  Hear me just a word--just a SINGLE word--if you
+PLEASE!  There's one way yet--let's go and dig up the corpse and look."
+
+That took them.
+
+"Hooray!" they all shouted, and was starting right off; but the lawyer
+and the doctor sung out:
+
+"Hold on, hold on!  Collar all these four men and the boy, and fetch THEM
+along, too!"
+
+"We'll do it!" they all shouted; "and if we don't find them marks we'll
+lynch the whole gang!"
+
+I WAS scared, now, I tell you.  But there warn't no getting away, you
+know. They gripped us all, and marched us right along, straight for the
+graveyard, which was a mile and a half down the river, and the whole town
+at our heels, for we made noise enough, and it was only nine in the
+evening.
+
+As we went by our house I wished I hadn't sent Mary Jane out of town;
+because now if I could tip her the wink she'd light out and save me, and
+blow on our dead-beats.
+
+Well, we swarmed along down the river road, just carrying on like
+wildcats; and to make it more scary the sky was darking up, and the
+lightning beginning to wink and flitter, and the wind to shiver amongst
+the leaves. This was the most awful trouble and most dangersome I ever
+was in; and I was kinder stunned; everything was going so different from
+what I had allowed for; stead of being fixed so I could take my own time
+if I wanted to, and see all the fun, and have Mary Jane at my back to
+save me and set me free when the close-fit come, here was nothing in the
+world betwixt me and sudden death but just them tattoo-marks.  If they
+didn't find them--
+
+I couldn't bear to think about it; and yet, somehow, I couldn't think
+about nothing else.  It got darker and darker, and it was a beautiful
+time to give the crowd the slip; but that big husky had me by the wrist
+--Hines--and a body might as well try to give Goliar the slip.  He dragged
+me right along, he was so excited, and I had to run to keep up.
+
+When they got there they swarmed into the graveyard and washed over it
+like an overflow.  And when they got to the grave they found they had
+about a hundred times as many shovels as they wanted, but nobody hadn't
+thought to fetch a lantern.  But they sailed into digging anyway by the
+flicker of the lightning, and sent a man to the nearest house, a half a
+mile off, to borrow one.
+
+So they dug and dug like everything; and it got awful dark, and the rain
+started, and the wind swished and swushed along, and the lightning come
+brisker and brisker, and the thunder boomed; but them people never took
+no notice of it, they was so full of this business; and one minute you
+could see everything and every face in that big crowd, and the shovelfuls
+of dirt sailing up out of the grave, and the next second the dark wiped
+it all out, and you couldn't see nothing at all.
+
+At last they got out the coffin and begun to unscrew the lid, and then
+such another crowding and shouldering and shoving as there was, to
+scrouge in and get a sight, you never see; and in the dark, that way, it
+was awful.  Hines he hurt my wrist dreadful pulling and tugging so, and I
+reckon he clean forgot I was in the world, he was so excited and panting.
+
+All of a sudden the lightning let go a perfect sluice of white glare, and
+somebody sings out:
+
+"By the living jingo, here's the bag of gold on his breast!"
+
+Hines let out a whoop, like everybody else, and dropped my wrist and give
+a big surge to bust his way in and get a look, and the way I lit out and
+shinned for the road in the dark there ain't nobody can tell.
+
+I had the road all to myself, and I fairly flew--leastways, I had it all
+to myself except the solid dark, and the now-and-then glares, and the
+buzzing of the rain, and the thrashing of the wind, and the splitting of
+the thunder; and sure as you are born I did clip it along!
+
+When I struck the town I see there warn't nobody out in the storm, so I
+never hunted for no back streets, but humped it straight through the main
+one; and when I begun to get towards our house I aimed my eye and set it.
+No light there; the house all dark--which made me feel sorry and
+disappointed, I didn't know why.  But at last, just as I was sailing by,
+FLASH comes the light in Mary Jane's window! and my heart swelled up
+sudden, like to bust; and the same second the house and all was behind me
+in the dark, and wasn't ever going to be before me no more in this world.
+She WAS the best girl I ever see, and had the most sand.
+
+The minute I was far enough above the town to see I could make the
+towhead, I begun to look sharp for a boat to borrow, and the first time
+the lightning showed me one that wasn't chained I snatched it and shoved.
+It was a canoe, and warn't fastened with nothing but a rope.  The towhead
+was a rattling big distance off, away out there in the middle of the
+river, but I didn't lose no time; and when I struck the raft at last I
+was so fagged I would a just laid down to blow and gasp if I could
+afforded it.  But I didn't.  As I sprung aboard I sung out:
+
+"Out with you, Jim, and set her loose!  Glory be to goodness, we're shut
+of them!"
+
+Jim lit out, and was a-coming for me with both arms spread, he was so
+full of joy; but when I glimpsed him in the lightning my heart shot up in
+my mouth and I went overboard backwards; for I forgot he was old King
+Lear and a drownded A-rab all in one, and it most scared the livers and
+lights out of me.  But Jim fished me out, and was going to hug me and
+bless me, and so on, he was so glad I was back and we was shut of the
+king and the duke, but I says:
+
+"Not now; have it for breakfast, have it for breakfast!  Cut loose and
+let her slide!"
+
+So in two seconds away we went a-sliding down the river, and it DID seem
+so good to be free again and all by ourselves on the big river, and
+nobody to bother us.  I had to skip around a bit, and jump up and crack
+my heels a few times--I couldn't help it; but about the third crack I
+noticed a sound that I knowed mighty well, and held my breath and
+listened and waited; and sure enough, when the next flash busted out over
+the water, here they come!--and just a-laying to their oars and making
+their skiff hum!  It was the king and the duke.
+
+So I wilted right down on to the planks then, and give up; and it was all
+I could do to keep from crying.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXX.
+
+WHEN they got aboard the king went for me, and shook me by the collar,
+and says:
+
+"Tryin' to give us the slip, was ye, you pup!  Tired of our company,
+hey?"
+
+I says:
+
+"No, your majesty, we warn't--PLEASE don't, your majesty!"
+
+"Quick, then, and tell us what WAS your idea, or I'll shake the insides
+out o' you!"
+
+"Honest, I'll tell you everything just as it happened, your majesty.  The
+man that had a-holt of me was very good to me, and kept saying he had a
+boy about as big as me that died last year, and he was sorry to see a boy
+in such a dangerous fix; and when they was all took by surprise by
+finding the gold, and made a rush for the coffin, he lets go of me and
+whispers, 'Heel it now, or they'll hang ye, sure!' and I lit out.  It
+didn't seem no good for ME to stay--I couldn't do nothing, and I didn't
+want to be hung if I could get away.  So I never stopped running till I
+found the canoe; and when I got here I told Jim to hurry, or they'd catch
+me and hang me yet, and said I was afeard you and the duke wasn't alive
+now, and I was awful sorry, and so was Jim, and was awful glad when we
+see you coming; you may ask Jim if I didn't."
+
+Jim said it was so; and the king told him to shut up, and said, "Oh, yes,
+it's MIGHTY likely!" and shook me up again, and said he reckoned he'd
+drownd me.  But the duke says:
+
+"Leggo the boy, you old idiot!  Would YOU a done any different?  Did you
+inquire around for HIM when you got loose?  I don't remember it."
+
+So the king let go of me, and begun to cuss that town and everybody in
+it. But the duke says:
+
+"You better a blame' sight give YOURSELF a good cussing, for you're the
+one that's entitled to it most.  You hain't done a thing from the start
+that had any sense in it, except coming out so cool and cheeky with that
+imaginary blue-arrow mark.  That WAS bright--it was right down bully; and
+it was the thing that saved us.  For if it hadn't been for that they'd a
+jailed us till them Englishmen's baggage come--and then--the
+penitentiary, you bet! But that trick took 'em to the graveyard, and the
+gold done us a still bigger kindness; for if the excited fools hadn't let
+go all holts and made that rush to get a look we'd a slept in our cravats
+to-night--cravats warranted to WEAR, too--longer than WE'D need 'em."
+
+They was still a minute--thinking; then the king says, kind of
+absent-minded like:
+
+"Mf!  And we reckoned the NIGGERS stole it!"
+
+That made me squirm!
+
+"Yes," says the duke, kinder slow and deliberate and sarcastic, "WE did."
+
+After about a half a minute the king drawls out:
+
+"Leastways, I did."
+
+The duke says, the same way:
+
+"On the contrary, I did."
+
+The king kind of ruffles up, and says:
+
+"Looky here, Bilgewater, what'r you referrin' to?"
+
+The duke says, pretty brisk:
+
+"When it comes to that, maybe you'll let me ask, what was YOU referring
+to?"
+
+"Shucks!" says the king, very sarcastic; "but I don't know--maybe you was
+asleep, and didn't know what you was about."
+
+The duke bristles up now, and says:
+
+"Oh, let UP on this cussed nonsense; do you take me for a blame' fool?
+Don't you reckon I know who hid that money in that coffin?"
+
+"YES, sir!  I know you DO know, because you done it yourself!"
+
+"It's a lie!"--and the duke went for him.  The king sings out:
+
+"Take y'r hands off!--leggo my throat!--I take it all back!"
+
+The duke says:
+
+"Well, you just own up, first, that you DID hide that money there,
+intending to give me the slip one of these days, and come back and dig it
+up, and have it all to yourself."
+
+"Wait jest a minute, duke--answer me this one question, honest and fair;
+if you didn't put the money there, say it, and I'll b'lieve you, and take
+back everything I said."
+
+"You old scoundrel, I didn't, and you know I didn't.  There, now!"
+
+"Well, then, I b'lieve you.  But answer me only jest this one more--now
+DON'T git mad; didn't you have it in your mind to hook the money and hide
+it?"
+
+The duke never said nothing for a little bit; then he says:
+
+"Well, I don't care if I DID, I didn't DO it, anyway.  But you not only
+had it in mind to do it, but you DONE it."
+
+"I wisht I never die if I done it, duke, and that's honest.  I won't say
+I warn't goin' to do it, because I WAS; but you--I mean somebody--got in
+ahead o' me."
+
+"It's a lie!  You done it, and you got to SAY you done it, or--"
+
+The king began to gurgle, and then he gasps out:
+
+"'Nough!--I OWN UP!"
+
+I was very glad to hear him say that; it made me feel much more easier
+than what I was feeling before.  So the duke took his hands off and says:
+
+"If you ever deny it again I'll drown you.  It's WELL for you to set
+there and blubber like a baby--it's fitten for you, after the way you've
+acted. I never see such an old ostrich for wanting to gobble everything
+--and I a-trusting you all the time, like you was my own father.  You ought
+to been ashamed of yourself to stand by and hear it saddled on to a lot
+of poor niggers, and you never say a word for 'em.  It makes me feel
+ridiculous to think I was soft enough to BELIEVE that rubbage.  Cuss you,
+I can see now why you was so anxious to make up the deffisit--you wanted
+to get what money I'd got out of the Nonesuch and one thing or another,
+and scoop it ALL!"
+
+The king says, timid, and still a-snuffling:
+
+"Why, duke, it was you that said make up the deffisit; it warn't me."
+
+"Dry up!  I don't want to hear no more out of you!" says the duke.  "And
+NOW you see what you GOT by it.  They've got all their own money back,
+and all of OURN but a shekel or two BESIDES.  G'long to bed, and don't
+you deffersit ME no more deffersits, long 's YOU live!"
+
+So the king sneaked into the wigwam and took to his bottle for comfort,
+and before long the duke tackled HIS bottle; and so in about a half an
+hour they was as thick as thieves again, and the tighter they got the
+lovinger they got, and went off a-snoring in each other's arms.  They
+both got powerful mellow, but I noticed the king didn't get mellow enough
+to forget to remember to not deny about hiding the money-bag again.  That
+made me feel easy and satisfied.  Of course when they got to snoring we
+had a long gabble, and I told Jim everything.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Part 6
+by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HUCKLEBERRY FINN, PART 6. ***
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