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diff --git a/7007-8.txt b/7007-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..36b4087 --- /dev/null +++ b/7007-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6435 @@ +Project Gutenberg's The True Story of My Life, by Hans Christian Andersen + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The True Story of My Life + +Author: Hans Christian Andersen + +Translator: Mary Howitt + + +Release Date: December, 2004 [EBook #7007] +This file was first posted on February 21, 2003 +Last Updated: June 12, 2013 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE STORY OF MY LIFE *** + + + + +Produced by Eric Eldred; Juliet Sutherland,the Project +Manager--a DP text + + + + + + + + +THE TRUE STORY OF MY LIFE: + +A SKETCH + +By Hans Christian Andersen. + +Translated By Mary Howitt + + + +To MESSRS. MUNROE AND CO. + +Gentlemen,--I take this opportunity of forwarding to you, the _proof +sheets_ of the unpublished Life of Hans Christian Andersen--translated +from a copy transmitted to me for that purpose, by the Author. It is as +well to state that this is the Author's Edition, he being participant in +the proceeds of this work. + +I remain, gentlemen, + +Yours truly, + +MARY HOWITT. + +LONDON, June 29, 1847. + + + +TO + +JENNY LIND + +THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION + +OF + +THE TRUE STORY OF HER FRIEND'S LIFE + +IS INSCRIBED + +IN ADMIRATION OF HER BEAUTIFUL TALENTS + +AND STILL MORE BEAUTIFUL LIFE, + +BY + +MARY HOWITT. + + + +Project Gutenberg Editor's Note: There are many words in this file with +missing letters. These spaces were letters with diacritic marks which +at the time of the production of the digital file were not available +for the character set of the file. It is hoped that someone will be +interested enough in this work to supply these missing letters. DW + + + + +PREFACE. + +No literary labor is more delightful to me than translating the +beautiful thoughts and fancies of Hans Christian Andersen. My heart is +in the work, and I feel as if my spirit were kindred to his; just as our +Saxon English seems to me eminently fitted to give the simple, pure, and +noble sentiments of the Danish mind. + +This True Story of his Life will not be found the least interesting of +his writings; indeed, to me it seems one of the most so. It furnishes +the key, as it were, to all the rest; and the treasures which it unlocks +will be found to be possessed of additional value when viewed through +the medium of this introduction. It is gratifying for me to be able to +state that the original Author has a personal interest in this English +version of his "Life," as I have arranged with my publishers to pay Mr. +Andersen a certain sum on the publication of this translation, and the +same on all future editions. + +M. H. + +The Elms, Clapton, June 26. + + + + +THE TRUE STORY OF MY LIFE + + + +CHAPTER I. + +My life is a lovely story, happy and full of incident. If, when I was a +boy, and went forth into the world poor and friendless, a good fairy had +met me and said, "Choose now thy own course through life, and the object +for which thou wilt strive, and then, according to the development of +thy mind, and as reason requires, I will guide and defend thee to its +attainment," my fate could not, even then, have been directed more +happily, more prudently, or better. The history of my life will say to +the world what it says to me--There is a loving God, who directs all +things for the best. + +My native land, Denmark, is a poetical land, full of popular traditions, +old songs, and an eventful history, which has become bound up with that +of Sweden and Norway. The Danish islands are possessed of beautiful +beech woods, and corn and clover fields: they resemble gardens on a +great scale. Upon one of these green islands, Funen, stands Odense, the +place of my birth. Odense is called after the pagan god Odin, who, as +tradition states, lived here: this place is the capital of the province, +and lies twenty-two Danish miles from Copenhagen. + +In the year 1805 there lived here, in a small mean room, a young married +couple, who were extremely attached to each other; he was a shoemaker, +scarcely twenty-two years old, a man of a richly gifted and truly +poetical mind. His wife, a few years older than himself, was ignorant of +life and of the world, but possessed a heart full of love. The young man +had himself made his shoemaking bench, and the bedstead with which he +began housekeeping; this bedstead he had made out of the wooden frame +which had borne only a short time before the coffin of the deceased +Count Trampe, as he lay in state, and the remnants of the black cloth on +the wood work kept the fact still in remembrance. + +Instead of a noble corpse, surrounded by crape and wax-lights, here +lay, on the second of April, 1805, a living and weeping child,--that was +myself, Hans Christian Andersen. During the first day of my existence my +father is said to have sate by the bed and read aloud in Holberg, but +I cried all the time. "Wilt thou go to sleep, or listen quietly?" it is +reported that my father asked in joke; but I still cried on; and even in +the church, when I was taken to be baptized, I cried so loudly that the +preacher, who was a passionate man, said, "The young one screams like +a cat!" which words my mother never forgot. A poor emigrant, Gomar, who +stood as godfather, consoled her in the mean time by saying that the +louder I cried as a child, all the more beautifully should I sing when I +grew older. + +Our little room, which was almost filled with the shoemaker's bench, +the bed, and my crib, was the abode of my childhood; the walls, however, +were covered with pictures, and over the work-bench was a cupboard +containing books and songs; the little kitchen was full of shining +plates and metal pans, and by means of a ladder it was possible to go +out on the roof, where, in the gutters between and the neighbor's house, +there stood a great chest filled with soil, my mother's sole garden, and +where she grew her vegetables. In my story of the Snow Queen that garden +still blooms. + +I was the only child, and was extremely spoiled, but I continually heard +from my mother how very much happier I was than she had been, and that I +was brought up like a nobleman's child. She, as a child, had been driven +out by her parents to beg, and once when she was not able to do it, +she had sate for a whole day under a bridge and wept. I have drawn +her character in two different aspects, in old Dominica, in the +Improvisatore, and in the mother of Christian, in Only a Fiddler. + +My father gratified me in all my wishes. I possessed his whole heart; he +lived for me. On Sundays, he made me perspective glasses, theatres, and +pictures which could be changed; he read to me from Holberg's plays +and the Arabian Tales; it was only in such moments as these that I can +remember to have seen him really cheerful, for he never felt himself +happy in his life and as a handicrafts-man. His parents had been country +people in good circumstances, but upon whom many misfortunes had fallen; +the cattle had died; the farm house had been burned down; and lastly, +the husband had lost his reason. On this the wife had removed with him +to Odense, and there put her son, whose mind was full of intelligence, +apprentice to a shoemaker; it could not be otherwise, although it was +his ardent wish to be able to attend the Grammar School, where he might +have learned Latin. A few well-to-do citizens had at one time spoken +of this, of clubbing together a sufficient sum to pay for his board and +education, and thus giving him a start in life; but it never went beyond +words. My poor father saw his dearest wish unfulfilled; and he never +lost the remembrance of it. I recollect that once, as a child, I saw +tears in his eyes, and it was when a youth from the Grammar School came +to our house to be measured for a new pair of boots, and showed us his +books and told us what he learned. + +"That was the path upon which I ought to have gone!" said my father, +kissed me passionately, and was silent the whole evening. + +He very seldom associated with his equals. He went out into the woods on +Sundays, when he took me with him; he did not talk much when he was out, +but would sit silently, sunk in deep thought, whilst I ran about and +strung strawberries on a straw, or bound garlands. Only twice in the +year, and that in the month of May, when the woods were arrayed in their +earliest green, did my mother go with us, and then she wore a cotton +gown, which she put on only on these occasions, and when she partook of +the Lord's Supper, and which, as long as I can remember, was her holiday +gown. She always took home with her from the wood a great many fresh +beech boughs, which were then planted behind the polished stone. Later +in the year sprigs of St. John's wort were stuck into the chinks of the +beams, and we considered their growth as omens whether our lives would +be long or short. Green branches and pictures ornamented our little +room, which my mother always kept neat and clean; she took great pride +in always having the bed-linen and the curtains very white. + +The mother of my father came daily to our house, were it only for a +moment, in order to see her little grandson. I was her joy and her +delight. She was a quiet and most amiable old woman, with mild blue eyes +and a fine figure, which life had severely tried. From having been the +wife of a countryman in easy circumstances she had now fallen into great +poverty, and dwelt with her feeble-minded husband in a little house, +which was the last, poor remains of their property. I never saw her shed +a tear. But it made all the deeper impression upon me when she quietly +sighed, and told me about her own mother's mother, how she had been +a rich, noble lady in the city of Cassel, and that she had married a +"comedy-player," that was as she expressed it, and run away from parents +and home, for all of which her posterity had now to do penance. I +never can recollect that I heard her mention the family name of her +grandmother; but her own maiden name was Nommesen. She was employed to +take care of the garden belonging to a lunatic asylum, and every Sunday +evening she brought us some flowers, which they gave her permission +to take home with her. These flowers adorned my mother's cupboard; but +still they were mine, and to me it was allowed to put them in the glass +of water. How great was this pleasure! She brought them all to me; she +loved me with her whole soul. I knew it, and I understood it. + +She burned, twice in the year, the green rubbish of the garden; on such +occasions she took me with her to the asylum, and I lay upon the great +heaps of green leaves and pea-straw. I had many flowers to play with, +and--which was a circumstance upon which I set great importanceù I had +here better food to eat than I could expect at home. + +All such patients as were harmless were permitted to go freely about +the court; they often came to us in the garden, and with curiosity and +terror I listened to them and followed them about; nay, I even ventured +so far as to go with the attendants to those who were raving mad. A long +passage led to their cells. On one occasion, when the attendants were +out of the way, I lay down upon the floor, and peeped through the crack +of the door into one of these cells. I saw within a lady almost naked, +lying on her straw bed; her hair hung down over her shoulders, and she +sang with a very beautiful voice. All at once she sprang up, and threw +herself against the door where I lay; the little valve through which she +received her food burst open; she stared down upon me, and stretched out +her long arm towards me. I screamed for terror--I felt the tips of her +fingers touching my clothes--I was half dead when the attendant came; +and even in later years that sight and that feeling remained within my +soul. + +Close beside the place where the leaves were burned, the poor old women +had their spinning-room. I often went in there, and was very soon +a favorite. When with these people, I found myself possessed of an +eloquence which filled them with astonishment. I had accidentally heard +about the internal mechanism of the human frame, of course without +understanding anything about it; but all these mysteries were very +captivating to me; and with chalk, therefore, I drew a quantity of +flourishes on the door, which were to represent the intestines; and my +description of the heart and the lungs made the deepest impression. I +passed for a remarkably wise child, that would not live long; and they +rewarded my eloquence by telling me tales in return; and thus a world +as rich as that of the thousand and one nights was revealed to me. The +stories told by these old ladies, and the insane figures which I saw +around me in the asylum, operated in the meantime so powerfully upon me, +that when it grew dark I scarcely dared to go out of the house. I was +therefore permitted, generally at sunset, to lay me down in my parents' +bed with its long flowered curtains, because the press-bed in which +I slept could not conveniently be put down so early in the evening on +account of the room it occupied in our small dwelling; and here, in the +paternal bed, lay I in a waking dream, as if the actual world did not +concern me. I was very much afraid of my weak-minded grandfather. Only +once had he ever spoken to me, and then he had made use of the formal +pronoun "you." He employed himself in cutting out of wood strange +figures, men with beasts' heads, and beasts with wings; these he +packed in a basket and carried them out into the country, where he was +everywhere well received by the peasant women, because he gave to them +and their children these strange toys. One day, when he was returning to +Odense, I heard the boys in the street shouting after him; I hid myself +behind a flight of steps in terror, for I knew that I was of his flesh +and blood. + +Every circumstance around me tended to excite my imagination. Odense +itself, in those days in which there was not a single steamboat in +existence, and when intercourse with other places was much more rare +than now, was a totally different city to what it is in our day; a +person might have fancied himself living hundreds of years ago, because +so many customs prevailed then which belonged to an earlier age. The +guilds walked in procession through the town with their harlequin before +them with mace and bells; on Shrove Tuesday the butchers led the fattest +ox through the streets adorned with garlands, whilst a boy in a white +shirt and with great wings on his shoulders rode upon it; the sailors +paraded through the city with music and all their flags flying, and then +two of the boldest among them stood and wrestled upon a plank placed +between two boats, and the one who was not thrown into the water was the +victor. + +That, however, which more particularly stamped itself upon my memory, +and became refreshed by after often-repeated relations, was, the abode +of the Spaniards in Funen in 1808. It is true that at that time I was +but three years old; still I nevertheless perfectly remember the brown +foreign men who made disturbances in the streets, and the cannon which +were fired. I saw the people lying on straw in a half-tumbledown church, +which was near the asylum. One day, a Spanish soldier took me in his +arms and pressed a silver image, which he wore upon his breast, to my +lips. I remember that my mother was angry at it, because, she said, +there was something papistical about it; but the image, and the strange +man, who danced me about, kissed me and wept, pleased me: certainly +he had children at home in Spain. I saw one of his comrades led to +execution; he had killed a Frenchman. Many years afterwards this little +circumstance occasioned me to write my little poem, "The Soldier," which +Chamisso translated into German, and which afterwards was included in +the illustrated people's books of soldier-songs. [Footnote: This +same little song, sent to me by the author, was translated by me and +published in the 19th No. of Howitt's Journal.--M. H.] I very seldom +played with other boys; even at school I took little interest in their +games, but remained sitting within doors. At home I had playthings +enough, which my father made for me. My greatest delight was in making +clothes for my dolls, or in stretching out one of my mother's aprons +between the wall and two sticks before a currant-bush which I had +planted in the yard, and thus to gaze in between the sun-illumined +leaves. I was a singularly dreamy child, and so constantly went about +with my eyes shut, as at last to give the impression of having weak +sight, although the sense of sight was especially cultivated by me. + +Sometimes, during the harvest, my mother went into the field to glean. +I accompanied her, and we went, like Ruth in the Bible, to glean in the +rich fields of Boaz. One day we went to a place, the bailiff of which +was well known for being a man of a rude and savage disposition. We +saw him coming with a huge whip in his hand, and my mother and all the +others ran away. I had wooden shoes on my bare feet, and in my haste I +lost these, and then the thorns pricked me so that I could not run, and +thus I was left behind and alone. The man came up and lifted his whip to +strike me, when I looked him in the face and involuntarily exclaimed,-- + +"How dare you strike me, when God can see it?" + +The strong, stern man looked at me, and at once became mild; he patted +me on my cheeks, asked me my name, and gave me money. + +When I brought this to my mother and showed it her, she said to the +others, "He is a strange child, my Hans Christian; everybody is kind to +him: this bad fellow even has given him money." + +I grew up pious and superstitious. I had no idea of want or need; to be +sure my parents had only sufficient to live from day to day, but I +at least had plenty of every thing; an old woman altered my father's +clothes for me. Now and then I went with my parents to the theatre, +where the first representations which I saw were in German. "Das +Donauweibchen" was the favorite piece of the whole city; there, however, +I saw, for the first time, Holberg's Village Politicians treated as an +opera. + +The first impression which a theatre and the crowd assembled there made +upon me was, at all events, no sign of any thing poetical slumbering in +me; for my first exclamation on seeing so many people, was, "Now, if we +only had as many casks of butter as there are people here, then I would +eat lots of butter!" The theatre, however, soon became my favorite +place, but, as I could only very seldom go there, I acquired the +friendship of the man who carried out the playbills, and he gave me one +every day. With this I seated myself in a corner and imagined an entire +play, according to the name of the piece and the characters in it. That +was my first, unconscious poetising. + +My father's favorite reading was plays and stories, although he also +read works of history and the Scriptures. He pondered in silent thought +afterwards upon that which he had read, but my mother did not understand +him when he talked with her about them, and therefore he grew more and +more silent. One day, he closed the Bible with the words, "Christ was a +man like us, but an extraordinary man!" These words horrified my mother, +and she burst into tears. In my distress I prayed to God that he would +forgive this fearful blasphemy in my father. "There is no other devil +than that which we have in our own hearts," I heard my father say one +day and I made myself miserable about him and his soul; I was therefore +entirely of the opinion of my mother and the neighbours, when my father, +one morning, found three scratches on his arm, probably occasioned by +a nail, that the devil had been to visit him in the night, in order to +prove to him that he really existed. My father's rambles in the wood +became more frequent; he had no rest. The events of the war in Germany, +which he read in the newspapers with eager curiosity, occupied him +completely. Napoleon was his hero: his rise from obscurity was the +most beautiful example to him. At that time Denmark was in league with +France; nothing was talked of but war; my father entered the service as +a soldier, in hope of returning home a lieutenant. My mother wept. The +neighbours shrugged their shoulders, and said that it was folly to go +out to be shot when there was no occasion for it. + +The morning on which the corps were to march I heard my father singing +and talking merrily, but his heart was deeply agitated; I observed that +by the passionate manner in which he kissed me when he took his leave. +I lay sick of the measles and alone in the room, when the drums beat and +my mother accompanied my father, weeping, to the city gate. As soon as +they were gone my old grandmother came in; she looked at me with her +mild eyes and said, it would be a good thing if I died; but that God's +will was always the best. + +That was the first day of real sorrow which I remember. + +The regiment advanced no farther than Holstein, peace was concluded, and +the voluntary soldier returned to his work-stool. Everything fell into +its old course. I played again with my dolls, acted comedies, and always +in German, because I had only seen them in this language; but my German +was a sort of gibberish which I made up, and in which there occurred +only one real German word, and that was "_Besen_," a word which I had +picked up out of the various dialects which my father brought home from +Holstein. + +"Thou hast indeed some benefit from my travels," said he in joke. "God +knows whether thou wilt get as far; but that must be thy care. Think +about it, Hans Christian!" But it was my mother's intention that as long +as she had any voice in the matter, I should remain at home, and not +lose my health as he had done. + +That was the case with him; his health had suffered. One morning he woke +in a state of the wildest excitement, and talked only of campaigns and +Napoleon. He fancied that he had received orders from him to take the +command. My mother immediately sent me, not to the physician, but to +a so-called wise woman some miles from Odense. I went to her. She +questioned me, measured my arm with a woolen thread, made extraordinary +signs, and at last laid a green twig upon my breast. It was, she said, a +piece of the same kind of tree upon which the Saviour was crucified. + +"Go now," said she, "by the river side towards home. If your father will +die this time, then you will meet his ghost." + +My anxiety and distress may be imagined,--I, who was so full of +superstition, and whose imagination was so easily excited. + +"And thou hast not met anything, hast thou?" inquired my mother when I +got home. I assured her, with beating heart, that I had not. + +My father died the third day after that. His corpse lay on the bed: +I therefore slept with my mother. A cricket chirped the whole night +through. + +"He is dead," said my mother, addressing it; "thou needest not call him. +The ice maiden has fetched him." + +I understood what she meant. I recollected that, in the winter before, +when our window panes were frozen, my father pointed to them and showed +us a figure as that of a maiden with outstretched arms. "She is come to +fetch me," said he, in jest. And now, when he lay dead on the bed, my +mother remembered this, and it occupied my thoughts also. + +He was buried in St. Knud's churchyard, by the door on the left hand +side coming from the altar. My grandmother planted roses upon his grave. +There are now in the selfsame place two strangers' graves, and the grass +grows green upon them also. + +After my father's death I was entirely left to myself. My mother went +out washing. I sate alone at home with my little theatre, made dolls' +clothes and read plays. It has been told me that I was always clean and +nicely dressed. I had grown tall; my hair was long, bright, and almost +yellow, and I always went bare-headed. There dwelt in our neighborhood +the widow of a clergyman, Madame Bunkeflod, with the sister of her +deceased husband. This lady opened to me her door, and hers was the +first house belonging to the educated class into which I was kindly +received. The deceased clergyman had written poems, and had gained a +reputation in Danish literature. His spinning songs were at that time +in the mouths of the people. In my vignettes to the Danish poets I thus +sang of him whom my contemporaries had forgotten:-- + + Spindles rattle, wheels turn round, + Spinning-songs depart; + Songs which youth sings soon become + Music of the heart. + +Here it was that I heard for the first time the word _poet_ spoken, and +that with so much reverence, as proved it to be something sacred. It is +true that my father had read Holberg's play to me; but here it was not +of these that they spoke, but of verses and poetry. "My brother the +poet," said Bunkeflod's sister, and her eyes sparkled as she said +it. From her I learned that it was a something glorious, a something +fortunate, to be a poet. Here, too, for the first time, I read +Shakspeare, in a bad translation, to be sure; but the bold descriptions, +the heroic incidents, witches, and ghosts were exactly to my taste. I +immediately acted Shakspeare's plays on my little puppet theatre. I saw +Hamlet's ghost, and lived upon the heath with Lear. The more persons +died in a play, the more interesting I thought it. At this time I wrote +my first piece: it was nothing less than a tragedy, wherein, as a matter +of course, everybody died. The subject of it I borrowed from an old song +about Pyramus and Thisbe; but I had increased the incidents through +a hermit and his son, who both loved Thisbe, and who both killed +themselves when she died. Many speeches of the hermit were passages from +the Bible, taken out of the little catechism, especially from our duty +to our neighbors. To the piece I gave the title "Abor and Elvira." + +"It ought to be called 'Perch (Aborre) and Stockfish,'" said one of our +neighbors wittily to me, as I came with it to her after having read it +with great satisfaction and joy to all the people in our street. This +entirely depressed me, because I felt that she was turning both me and +my poem to ridicule. With a troubled heart I told it to my mother. + +"She only said so," replied my mother, "because her son had not done +it." I was comforted, and began a new piece, in which a king and queen +were among the dramatis personae. I thought it was not quite right that +these dignified personages, as in Shakspeare, should speak like other +men and women. I asked my mother and different people how a king ought +properly to speak, but no one knew exactly. They said that it was so +many years since a king had been in Odense, but that he certainly spoke +in a foreign language. I procured myself, therefore, a sort of lexicon, +in which were German, French, and English words with Danish meanings, +and this helped me. I took a word out of each language, and inserted +them into the speeches of my king and queen. It was a regular Babel-like +language, which I considered only suitable for such elevated personages. + +I desired now that everybody should hear my piece. It was a real +felicity to me to read it aloud, and it never occurred to me that others +should not have the same pleasure in listening to it. + +The son of one of our neighbors worked in a cloth manufactory, and every +week brought home a sum of money. I was at a loose end, people said, and +got nothing. I was also now to go to the manufactory, "not for the sake +of the money," my mother said, "but that she might know where I was, and +what I was doing." + +My old grandmother took me to the place, therefore, and was very much +affected, because, said she, she had not expected to live to see the +time when I should consort with the poor ragged lads that worked there. + +Many of the journeymen who were employed in the manufactory were +Germans; they sang and were merry fellows, and many a coarse joke of +theirs filled the place with loud laughter. I heard them, and I there +learned that, to the innocent ears of a child, the impure remains very +unintelligible. It took no hold upon my heart. I was possessed at that +time of a remarkably beautiful and high soprano voice, and I knew it; +because when I sang in my parents' little garden, the people in the +street stood and listened, and the fine folks in the garden of the +states-councillor, which adjoined ours, listened at the fence. When, +therefore, the people at the manufactory asked me whether I could sing, +I immediately began, and all the looms stood still: all the journeymen +listened to me. I had to sing again and again, whilst the other boys had +my work given them to do. I now told them that I also could act plays, +and that I knew whole scenes of Holberg and Shakspeare. Everybody liked +me; and in this way, the first days in the manufactory passed on very +merrily. One day, however, when I was in my best singing vein, and +everybody spoke of the extraordinary brilliancy of my voice, one of the +journeymen said that I was a girl, and not a boy. He seized hold of me. +I cried and screamed. The other journeymen thought it very amusing, +and held me fast by my arms and legs. I screamed aloud, and was as +much ashamed as a girl; and then, darting from them, rushed home to my +mother, who immediately promised me that I should never go there again. + +I again visited Madame Bunkeflod, for whose birthday I invented and made +a white silk pincushion. I also made an acquaintance with another old +clergyman's widow in the neighborhood. She permitted me to read aloud +to her the works which she had from the circulating library. One of +them began with these words: "It was a tempestuous night; the rain beat +against the window-panes." + +"That is an extraordinary book," said the old lady; and I quite +innocently asked her how she knew that it was. "I can tell from the +beginning," said she, "that it will turn out extraordinary." + +I regarded her penetration with a sort of reverence. + +Once in the harvest time my mother took me with her many miles from +Odense to a nobleman's seat in the neighborhood of Bogense, her native +place. The lady who lived there, and with whose parents my mother had +lived, had said that some time she might come and see her. That was a +great journey for me: we went most of the way on foot, and required, I +believe, two days for the journey. The country here made such a strong +impression upon me, that my most earnest wish was to remain in it, and +become a countryman. It was just in the hop-picking season; my mother +and I sat in the barn with a great many country people round a great +binn, and helped to pick the hops. They told tales as they sat at +their work, and every one related what wonderful things he had seen or +experienced. One afternoon I heard an old man among them say that God +knew every thing, both what had happened and what would happen. That +idea occupied my whole mind, and towards evening, as I went alone from +the court, where there was a deep pond, and stood upon some stones which +were just within the water, the thought passed through my head, whether +God actually knew everything which was to happen there. Yes, he has now +determined that I should live and be so many years old, thought I; but, +if I now were to jump into the water here and drown myself, then it +would not be as he wished; and all at once I was firmly and resolutely +determined to drown myself. I ran to where the water was deepest, and +then a new thought passed through my soul. "It is the devil who wishes +to have power over me!" I uttered a loud cry, and, running away from +the place as if I were pursued, fell weeping into my mother's arms. But +neither she nor any one else could wring from me what was amiss with me. + +"He has certainly seen a ghost," said one of the women; and I almost +believed so myself. + +My mother married a second time, a young handicraftsman; but his family, +who also belonged to the handicraft class, thought that he had married +below himself, and neither my mother nor myself were permitted to visit +them. My step-father was a young, grave man, who would have nothing to +do with my education. I spent my time, therefore, over my peep show and +my puppet theatre, and my greatest happiness consisted in collecting +bright colored pieces of cloth and silk, which I cut out myself and +sewed. My mother regarded it as good exercise preparatory to my becoming +a tailor, and took up the idea that I certainly was born for it. I, on +the contrary, said that I would go to the theatre and be an actor, a +wish which my mother most sedulously opposed, because she knew of no +other theatre than those of the strolling players and the rope-dancers. +No, a tailor I must and should be. The only thing which in some measure +reconciled me to this prospect was, that I should then get so many +fragments to make up for my theatre. + +My passion for reading, the many dramatic scenes which I knew by heart, +and my remarkably fine voice, had turned upon me in some sort the +attention of several of the more influential families of Odense. I was +sent for to their houses, and the peculiar characteristics of my mind +excited their interest. Among others who noticed me was the Colonel +Hoegh-Guldberg, who with his family showed me the kindest sympathy; so +much so, indeed, that he introduced me to the present king, then Prince +Christian. + +I grew rapidly, and was a tall lad, of whom my mother said that she +could not let him any longer go about without any object in life. I +was sent, therefore, to the charity school, but learned only religion, +writing, and arithmetic, and the last badly enough; I could also +scarcely spell a word correctly. On the master's birthday I always wove +him a garland and wrote him a poem; he received them half with smiles +and half as a joke; the last time, however, he scolded me. The street +lads had also heard from their parents of my peculiar turn of mind, +and that I was in the habit of going to the houses of the gentry. I was +therefore one day pursued by a wild crowd of them, who shouted after +me derisively, "There runs the play-writer!" I hid myself at home in a +corner, wept, and prayed to God. + +My mother said that I must be confirmed, in order that I might be +apprenticed to the tailor trade, and thus do something rational. She +loved me with her whole heart, but she did not understand my impulses +and my endeavors, nor indeed at that time did I myself. The people about +her always spoke against my odd ways, and turned me to ridicule. + +We belonged to the parish of St. Knud, and the candidates for +confirmation could either enter their names with the prevost or the +chaplain. The children of the so-called superior families and the +scholars of the grammar school went to the first, and the children of +the poor to the second. I, however, announced myself as a candidate +to the prevost, who was obliged to receive me, although he discovered +vanity in my placing myself among his catechists, where, although taking +the lowest place, I was still above those who were under the care of +the chaplain. I would, however, hope that it was not alone vanity which +impelled me. I had a sort of fear of the poor boys, who had laughed at +me, and I always felt as it were an inward drawing towards the scholars +of the grammar school, whom I regarded as far better than other boys. +When I saw them playing in the church-yard, I would stand outside the +railings, and wish that I were but among the fortunate ones,--not for +the sake of play, but for the sake of the many books they had, and +for what they might be able to become in the world. With the prevost, +therefore, I should be able to come together with them, and be as +they were; but I do not remember a single one of them now, so little +intercourse would they hold with me. I had daily the feeling of having +thrust myself in where people thought that I did not belong. One young +girl, however, there was, and one who was considered too of the highest +rank, whom I shall afterwards have to mention; she always looked gently +and kindly at me, and even once gave me a rose. I returned home full of +happiness, because there was one being who did not overlook and repel +me. + +An old female tailor altered my deceased father's great coat into a +confirmation suit for me; never before had I worn so good a coat. I +had also for the first time in my life a pair of boots. My delight was +extremely great; my only fear was that everybody would not see them, and +therefore I drew them up over my trousers, and thus marched through the +church. The boots creaked, and that inwardly pleased me, for thus +the congregation would hear that they were new. My whole devotion +was disturbed; I was aware of it, and it caused me a horrible pang of +conscience that my thoughts should be as much with my new boots as with +God. I prayed him earnestly from my heart to forgive me, and then again +I thought about my new boots. + +During the last year I had saved together a little sum of money. When +I counted it over I found it to be thirteen rix dollars banco (about +thirty shillings) I was quite overjoyed at the possession of so much +wealth, and as my mother now most resolutely required that I should be +apprenticed to a tailor, I prayed and besought her that I might make a +journey to Copenhagen, that I might see the greatest city in the world. +"What wilt thou do there?" asked my mother. + +"I will become famous," returned I, and I then told her all that I +had read about extraordinary men. "People have," said I, "at first an +immense deal of adversity to go through, and then they will be famous." + +It was a wholly unintelligible impulse that guided me. I wept, I prayed, +and at last my mother consented, after having first sent for a so-called +wise woman out of the hospital, that she might read my future fortune by +the coffee-grounds and cards. + +"Your son will become a great man," said the old woman, "and in honor of +him, Odense will one day be illuminated." + +My mother wept when she heard that, and I obtained permission to travel. +All the neighbors told my mother that it was a dreadful thing to let me, +at only fourteen years of age, go to Copenhagen, which was such a long +way off, and such a great and intricate city, and where I knew nobody. + +"Yes," replied my mother, "but he lets me have no peace; I have +therefore given my consent, but I am sure that he will go no further +than Nyborg; when he gets sight of the rough sea, he will be frightened +and turn back again." + +During the summer before my confirmation, a part of the singers and +performers of the Theatre Royal had been in Odense, and had given a +series of operas and tragedies there. The whole city was taken +with them. I, who was on good terms with the man who delivered the +play-bills, saw the performances behind the scenes, and had even acted a +part as page, shepherd, etc., and had spoken a few words. My zeal was +so great on such occasions, that I stood there fully apparelled when the +actors arrived to dress. By these means their attention was turned to +me; my childlike manners and my enthusiasm amused them; they talked +kindly with me, and I looked up to them as to earthly divinities. +Everything which I had formerly heard about my musical voice, and my +recitation of poetry, became intelligible to me. It was the theatre for +which I was born: it was there that I should become a famous man, and +for that reason Copenhagen was the goal of my endeavors. I heard a deal +said about the large theatre in Copenhagen, and that there was to be +soon what was called the ballet, a something which surpassed both the +opera and the play; more especially did I hear the solo-dancer, Madame +Schall, spoken of as the first of all. She therefore appeared to me as +the queen of everything, and in my imagination I regarded her as the one +who would be able to do everything for me, if I could only obtain her +support. Filled with these thoughts, I went to the old printer Iversen, +one of the most respectable citizens of Odense, and who, as I heard, had +had considerable intercourse with the actors when they were in the town. +He, I thought, must of necessity be acquainted with the famous dancer; +him I would request to give me a letter of introduction to her, and then +I would commit the rest to God. + +The old man saw me for the first time, and heard my petition with much +kindness; but he dissuaded me most earnestly from it, and said that I +might learn a trade. + +"That would actually be a great sin," returned I. + +He was startled at the manner in which I said that, and it prepossessed +him in my favor; he confessed that he was not personally acquainted with +the dancer, but still that he would give me a letter to her. I received +one from him, and now believed the goal to be nearly won. + +My mother packed up my clothes in a small bundle, and made a bargain +with the driver of a post carriage to take me back with him to +Copenhagen for three rix dollars banco. The afternoon on which we were +to set out came, and my mother accompanied me to the city gate. Here +stood my old grandmother; in the last few years her beautiful hair had +become grey; she fell upon my neck and wept, without being able to speak +a word. I was myself deeply affected. And thus we parted. I saw her no +more; she died in the following year. + +I do not even know her grave; she sleeps in the poor-house +burial-ground. + +The postilion blew his horn; it was a glorious sunny afternoon, and the +sunshine soon entered into my gay child-like mind. I delighted in every +novel object which met my eye, and I was journeying towards the goal of +my soul's desires. When, however, I arrived at Nyborg on the great Belt, +and was borne in the ship away from my native island, I then truly felt +how alone and forlorn I was, and that I had no one else except God in +heaven to depend upon. + +As soon as I set foot on Zealand, I stepped behind a shed, which stood +on the shore, and falling upon my knees, besought of God to help and +guide me aright; I felt myself comforted by so doing, and I firmly +trusted in God and my own good fortune. The whole day and the following +night I travelled through cities and villages; I stood solitarily by the +carriage, and ate my bread while it was repacked.--I thought I was far +away in the wide world. + + + +CHAPTER II. + +On Monday morning, September 5th, 1819, I saw from the heights of +Frederiksburg, Copenhagen, for the first time. At this place I alighted +from the carriage, and with my little bundle in my hand, entered the +city through the castle garden, the long alley and the suburb. + +The evening before my arrival had been made memorable by the breaking +out of the so-called Jews quarrel, which spread through many European +countries. The whole city was in commotion [Footnote: This remarkable +disturbance makes a fine incident in Anderson's romance of "Only a +Fiddler."--M. H.]; every body was in the streets; the noise and tumult +of Copenhagen far exceeded, therefore, any idea which my imagination had +formed of this, at that time, to me great city. + +With scarcely ten dollars in my pocket, I turned into a small +public-house. My first ramble was to the theatre. I went round it many +times; I looked up to its walls, and regarded them almost as a home. One +of the bill-sellers, who wandered about here each day, observed me, and +asked me if I would have a bill. I was so wholly ignorant of the world, +that I thought the man wished to give me one; I therefore accepted his +offer with thankfulness. He fancied I was making fun of him and was +angry; so that I was frightened, and hastened from the place which was +to me the dearest in the city. Little did I then imagine that ten years +afterwards my first dramatic piece would be represented there, and that +in this manner I should make my appearance before the Danish public. On +the following day I dressed myself in my confirmation suit, nor were the +boots forgotten, although, this time, they were worn, naturally, under +my trousers; and thus, in my best attire, with a hat on, which fell half +over my eyes, I hastened to present my letter of introduction to the +dancer, Madame Schall. Before I rung at the bell, I fell on my knees +before the door and prayed God that I here might find help and support. +A maid-servant came down the steps with her basket in her hand; she +smiled kindly at me, gave me a skilling (Danish), and tripped on. +Astonished, I looked at her and the money. I had on my confirmation +suit, and thought I must look very smart. How then could she think that +I wanted to beg? I called after her. + +"Keep it, keep it!" said she to me, in return, and was gone. + +At length I was admitted to the dancer; she looked at me in great +amazement, and then heard what I had to say. She had not the slightest +knowledge of him from whom the letter came, and my whole appearance and +behavior seemed very strange to her. I confessed to her my heartfelt +inclination for the theatre; and upon her asking me what characters I +thought I could represent, I replied, Cinderella. This piece had been +performed in Odense by the royal company, and the principal characters +had so greatly taken my fancy, that I could play the part perfectly from +memory. In the mean time I asked her permission to take off my boots, +otherwise I was not light enough for this character; and then taking up +my broad hat for a tambourine, I began to dance and sing,-- + + "Here below, nor rank nor riches, Are exempt from pain and woe." + +My strange gestures and my great activity caused the lady to think me +out of my mind, and she lost no time in getting rid of me. + +From her I went to the manager of the theatre, to ask for an engagement. +He looked at me, and said that I was "too thin for the theatre." + +"Oh," replied I, "if you will only engage me with one hundred rix +dollars banco salary, then I shall soon get fat!" The manager bade me +gravely go my way, adding, that they only engaged people of education. + +I stood there deeply wounded. I knew no one in all Copenhagen who could +give me either counsel or consolation. I thought of death as being the +only thing, and the best thing for me; but even then my thoughts rose +upwards to God, and with all the undoubting confidence of a child in his +father, they riveted themselves upon Him. I wept bitterly, and then I +said to myself, "When everything happens really miserably, then he sends +help. I have always read so. People must first of all suffer a great +deal before they can bring anything to accomplishment." + +I now went and bought myself a gallery-ticket for the opera of Paul and +Virginia. The separation of the lovers affected me to such a degree, +that I burst into violent weeping. A few women, who sat near me, +consoled me by saying that it was only a play, and nothing to trouble +oneself about; and then they gave me a sausage sandwich. I had the +greatest confidence in everybody, and therefore I told them, with the +utmost openness, that I did not really weep about Paul and Virginia, +but because I regarded the theatre as my Virginia, and that if I must be +separated from it, I should be just as wretched as Paul. They looked at +me, and seemed not to understand my meaning. I then told them why I +had come to Copenhagen, and how forlorn I was there. One of the women, +therefore, gave me more, bread andebutter, with fruit and cakes. + +On the following morning I paid my bill, and to my infinite trouble +I saw that my whole wealth consisted in one rix dollar banco. It was +necessary, therefore, either that I should find some vessel to take me +home, or put myself to work with some handicraftsman. I considered that +the last was the wiser of the two, because, if I returned to Odense, I +must there also put myself to work of a similar kind; besides which, I +knew very well that the people there would laugh at me if I came back +again. It was to me a matter of indifference what handicraft trade +I learned,--I only should make use of it to keep life within me +in Copenhagen. I bought a newspaper, therefore. I found among the +advertisements that a cabinet maker was in want of an apprentice. The +man received me kindly, but said that before I was bound to him he must +have an attestation, and my baptismal register from Odense; and that +till these came I could remove to his house, and try how the business +pleased me. At six o'clock the next morning I went to the workshop: +several journeymen were there, and two or three apprentices; but the +master was not come. They fell into merry and idle discourse. I was as +bashful as a girl, and as they soon perceived this, I was unmercifully +rallied upon it. Later in the day the rude jests of the young fellows +went so far, that, in remembrance of the scene at the manufactory, I +took the resolute determination not to remain a single day longer in +the workshop. I went down to the master, therefore, and told him that I +could not stand it; he tried to console me, but in vain: I was too much +affected, and hastened away. + +I now went through the streets; nobody knew me; I was quite forlorn. I +then bethought myself of having read in a newspaper in Odense the name +of an Italian, Siboni, who was the director of the Academy of Music in +Copenhagen. Everybody had praised my voice; perhaps he would assist me +for its sake; if not, then that very evening I must seek out the master +of some vessel who would take me home again. At the thoughts of the +journey home I became still more violently excited, and in this state of +suffering I hastened to Siboni's house. + +It happened that very day that he had a large party to dinner; our +celebrated composer Weyse was there, the poet Baggesen, and other +guests. The housekeeper opened the door to me, and to her I not only +related my wish to be engaged as a singer, but also the whole history +of my life. She listened to me with the greatest sympathy, and then she +left me. I waited a long time, and she must have been repeating to the +company the greater part of what I had said, for, in a while, the door +opened, and all the guests came out and looked at me. They would have +me to sing, and Siboni heard me attentively. I gave some scenes out of +Holberg, and repeated a few poems; and then, all at once, the sense of +my unhappy condition so overcame me that I burst into tears; the whole +company applauded. + +"I prophesy," said Baggesen, "that one day something will come out of +him; but do not be vain when, some day, the whole public shall applaud +thee!" and then he added something about pure, true nature, and that +this is too often destroyed by years and by intercourse with mankind. I +did not understand it all. + +Siboni promised to cultivate my voice, and that I therefore should +succeed as singer at the Theatre Royal. It made me very happy; I laughed +and wept; and as the housekeeper led me out and saw the excitement under +which I labored, she stroked my cheeks, and said that on the following +day I should go to Professor Weyse, who meant to do something for me, +and upon whom I could depend. + +I went to Weyse, who himself had risen from poverty; he had deeply +felt and fully comprehended my unhappy situation, and had raised by a +subscription seventy rix dollars banco for me. I then wrote my first +letter to my mother, a letter full of rejoicing, for the good fortune +of the whole world seemed poured upon me. My mother in her joy showed +my letter to all her friends; many heard of it with astonishment; others +laughed at it, for what was to be the end of it? In order to understand +Siboni it was necessary for me to learn something of German. A woman +of Copenhagen, with whom I travelled from Odense to this city, and +who gladly, according to her means, would have supported me, obtained, +through one of her acquaintance, a language-master, who gratuitously +gave me some German lessons, and thus I learned a few phrases in that +language. Siboni received me into his house, and gave me food and +instruction; but half a year afterwards my voice broke, or was injured, +in consequence of my being compelled to wear bad shoes through the +winter, and having besides no warm under-clothing. There was no longer +any prospect that I should become a fine singer. Siboni told me that +candidly, and counselled me to go to Odense, and there learn a trade. + +I, who in the rich colors of fancy had described to my mother the +happiness which I actually felt, must now return home and become an +object of derision! Agonized with this thought, I stood as if crushed +to the earth. Yet, precisely amid this apparently great un-happiness lay +the stepping-stones of a better fortune. + +As I found myself again abandoned, and was pondering by myself upon what +was best for me next to do, it occurred to me that the Poet Guldberg, a +brother of the Colonel of that name in Odense, who had shown me so +much kindness, lived in Copenhagen. He lived at that time near the new +church-yard outside the city, of which he has so beautifully sung in his +poems. I wrote to him, and related to him everything; afterwards I went +to him myself, and found him surrounded with books and tobacco pipes. +The strong, warm-hearted man received me kindly; and as he saw by my +letter how incorrectly I wrote, he promised to give me instruction in +the Danish tongue; he examined me a little in German, and thought that +it would be well if he could improve me in this respect also. More than +this, he made me a present of the profits of a little work which he had +just then published; it became known, and I believe they exceeded one +hundred rix dollars banco; the excellent Weyse and others also supported +me. + +It was too expensive for me to lodge at a public house; I was therefore +obliged to seek for private lodgings. My ignorance of the world led +me to a widow who lived in one of the most disreputable streets of +Copenhagen; she was inclined to receive me into her house, and I never +suspected what kind of world it was which moved around me. She was a +stern, but active dame; she described to me the other people of the city +in such horrible colors as made me suppose that I was in the only safe +haven there. I was to pay twenty rix dollars monthly for one room, which +was nothing but an empty store-room, without window and light, but I had +permission to sit in her parlor. I was to make trial of it at first for +two days, meantime on the following day she told me that I could decide +to stay or immediately go. I, who so easily attach myself to people, +already liked her, and felt myself at home with her; but more than +sixteen dollars per month Weyse had told me I must not pay, and this was +the sum which I had received from him and Guldberg, so that no surplus +remained to me for my other expenses. This troubled me very much; +when she was gone out of the room, I seated myself on the sofa, and +contemplated the portrait of her deceased husband. + +I was so wholly a child, that as the tears rolled down my own cheeks, +I wetted the eyes of the portrait with my tears, in order that the dead +man might feel how troubled I was, and influence the heart of his wife. +She must have seen that nothing more was to be drained out of me, for +when she returned to the room she said that she would receive me into +her house for the sixteen rix dollars. I thanked God and the dead man. I +found myself in the midst of the mysteries of Copenhagen, but I did +not understand how to interpret them. There was in the house in which +I lived a friendly young lady, who lived alone, and often wept; every +evening her old father came and paid her a visit. I opened the door to +him frequently; he wore a plain sort of coat, had his throat very much +tied up, and his hat pulled over his eyes. He always drank his tea with +her, and nobody dared to be present, because he was not fond of company: +she never seemed very glad at his coming. [Footnote: This character will +be recognised in Steffen Margaret, in Only a Fiddler.--M. H.] Many years +afterwards, when I had reached another step on the ladder of life, when +the refined world of fashionable life was opened before me, I saw +one evening, in the midst of a brilliantly lighted hall, a polite old +gentleman covered with orders--that was the old father in the shabby +coat, he whom I had let in. He had little idea that I had opened the +door to him when he played his part as guest, but I, on my side, then +had also no thought but for my own comedy-playing; that is to say, I was +at that time so much of a child that I played with my puppet-theatre and +made my dolls' clothes; and in order that I might obtain gaily-colored +fragments for this purpose, I used to go to the shops and ask for +patterns of various kinds of stuffs and ribbons. I myself did not +possess a single farthing; my landlady received all the money each month +in advance; only now and then, when I did any errands for her, she +gave me something, and that went in the purchase of paper or for old +play-books. I was now very happy, and was doubly so because Professor +Guldberg had induced Lindgron, the first comic actor at the theatre, to +give me instruction. He gave me several parts in Holberg to learn, such +as Hendrik, and the Silly Boy, for which I had shown some talent. My +desire, however, was to play the Correggio. I obtained permission to +learn this piece in my own way, although Lindgron asked, with comic +gravity, whether I expected to resemble the great painter? I, however, +repeated to him the soliloquy in the picture gallery with so much +feeling, that the old man clapped me on the shoulder and said, "Feeling +you have; but you must not be an actor, though God knows what else. +Speak to Guldberg about your learning Latin: that always opens the way +for a student." + +I a student! That was a thought which had never come before into my +head. The theatre lay nearer to me, and was dearer too; but Latin I +had also always wished to learn. But before I spoke on the subject to +Guldberg, I mentioned it to the lady who gave me gratuitous instruction +in German; but she told me that Latin was the most expensive language in +the world, and that it was not possible to gain free instruction in +it. Guldberg, however, managed it so that one of his friends, out of +kindness, gave me two lessons a week. + +The dancer, Dahlen, whose wife at that time was one of the first +artistes on the Danish boards, opened his house to me. I passed many +an evening there, and the gentle, warm-hearted lady was kind to me. The +husband took me with him to the dancing-school, and that was to me one +step nearer to the theatre. There stood I for whole mornings, with a +long staff, and stretched my legs; but notwithstanding all my good-will, +it was Dahlen's opinion that I should never get beyond a figurante. +One advantage, however, I had gained; I might in an evening make my +appearance behind the scenes of the theatre; nay, even sit upon the +farthest bench in the box of the figurantes. It seemed to me as if I had +got my foot just within the theatre, although I had never yet been upon +the stage itself. + +One night the little opera of the Two Little Savoyards was given; in +the market scene every one, even the mechanists, might go up to help in +filling the stage; I heard them say so, and rouging myself a little, +I went happily up with the others. I was in my ordinary dress; the +confirmation coat, which still held together, although, with regard to +brushing and repairs, it lookedebut miserably, and the great hat which +fell down over my face. I was very conscious of the ill condition of my +attire, and would have been glad to have concealed it; but, through the +endeavor to do so, my movements became still more angular. I did not +dare to hold myself upright, because, by so doing, I exhibited all the +more plainly the shortness of my waistcoat, which I had outgrown. I had +the feeling very plainly that people would make themselves merry about +me; yet, at this moment, I felt nothing but the happiness of stepping +for the first time before the foot-lamps. My heart beat; I stepped +forward; there came up one of the singers, who at that time was much +thought of, but now is forgotten; he took me by the hand, and jeeringly +wished me happiness on my debut. "Allow me to introduce you to the +Danish public," said he, and drew me forward to the lamps. The people +would laugh at me--I felt it; the tears rolled down my cheeks; I tore +myself loose, and left the stage full of anguish. + +Shortly after this, Dahlen arranged a ballet of Armida, in which +I received a little part: I was a spirit. In this ballet I became +acquainted with the lady of Professor Heiberg, the wife of the poet, and +now a highly esteemed actress on the Danish stage; she, then a little +girl, had also a part in it, and our names stood printed in the bill. +That was a moment in my life, when my name was printed! I fancied I +could see it a nimbus of immortality. I was continually looking at the +printed paper. I carried the programme of the ballet with me at night to +bed, lay and read my name by candle light--in short, I was happy. + +I had now been two years in Copenhagen. The sum of money which had been +collected for me was expended, but I was ashamed of making known my +wants and my necessities. I had removed to the house of a woman whose +husband, when living, was master of a trading-vessel, and there I had +only lodging and breakfast. Those were heavy, dark days for me. + +The lady believed that I went out to dine with various families, whilst +I only ate a little bread on one of the benches in the royal garden. +Very rarely did I venture into some of the lowest eating-houses, and +choose there the least expensive dish. I was, in truth, very forlorn; +but I did not feel the whole weight of my condition. Every person who +spoke to me kindly I took for a faithful friend. God was with me in my +little room; and many a night, when I have said my evening prayer, I +asked of Him, like a child, "Will things soon be better with me?" I had +the notion, that as it went with me on New Year's Day, so would it go +with me through the whole year; and my highest wishes were to obtain a +part in a play. + +It was now New Year's Day. The theatre was closed, and only a half-blind +porter sat at the entrance to the stage, on which there was not a soul. +I stole past him with beating heart, got between the movable scenes and +the curtain, and advanced to the open part of the stage. Here I fell +down upon my knees, but not a single verse for declamation could I +recall to my memory. I then said aloud the Lord's Prayer, and went out +with the persuasion, that because I had spoken from the stage on New +Year's Day, I should in the course of the year succeed in speaking still +more, as well as in having a part assigned to me. + +During the two years of my residence in Copenhagen I had never been out +into the open country. Once only had I been in the park, and there I had +been deeply engrossed by studying the diversions of the people and their +gay tumult. In the spring of the third year, I went out for the first +time amid the verdure of a spring morning. It was into the garden of +the Fredericksberg, the summer residence of Frederick VI. I stood still +suddenly under the first large budding beech tree. The sun made the +leaves transparent--there was a fragrance, a freshness--the birds sang. +I was overcome by it--I shouted aloud for joy, threw my arms around the +tree and kissed it. + +"Is he mad?" said a man close behind me. It was one of the servants +of the castle. I ran away, shocked at what I had heard, and then went +thoughtfully and calmly back to the city. + +My voice had, in the mean time, in part regained its richness. The +singing master of the choir-school heard it, offered me a place in +the school, thinking that, by singing with the choir, I should acquire +greater freedom in the exercise of my powers on the stage. I thought +that I could see by this means a new way opened for me. I went from the +dancing-school into the singing-school, and entered the choir, now as +a shepherd, and now as a warrior. The theatre was my world. I had +permission to go in the pit, and thus it fared ill with my Latin. I +heard many people say that there was no Latin required for singing +in the choir, and that without the knowledge of this language it was +possible to become a great actor. I thought there was good sense in +that, and very often, either with or without reason, excused myself +from my Latin evening lesson. Guldberg became aware of this, and for the +first time I received a reprimand which almost crushed me to the earth. +I fancy that no criminal could suffer more by hearing the sentence +of death pronounced upon him. My distress of mind must have expressed +itself in my countenance, for he said "Do not act any more comedy." But +it was no comedy to me. + +I was now to learn Latin no longer. I felt my dependence upon the +kindness of others in such a degree as I had never done before. +Occasionally I had had gloomy and earnest thoughts in looking forward +to my future, because I was in want of the very necessaries of life; at +other times I had the perfect thoughtlessness of a child. + +The widow of the celebrated Danish statesman, Christian Colbj÷rnsen, +and her daughter, were the first ladies of high rank who cordially +befriended the poor lad; who listened to me with sympathy, and saw +me frequently. Mrs. von Colbj÷rnsen resided, during the summer, at +Bakkehus, where also lived the poet Rahbek and his interesting wife. +Rahbek never spoke to me; but his lively and kind-hearted wife often +amused herself with me. I had at that time again begun to write a +tragedy, which I read aloud to her. Immediately on hearing the first +scenes, she exclaimed, "But you have actually taken whole passages out +of Oehlenschl ger and Ingemann." + +"Yes, but they are so beautiful!" replied I in my simplicity, and read +on. + +One day, when I was going from her to Mrs. von Colbj÷rnsen, she gave +me a handful of roses, and said, "Will you take them up to her? It will +certainly give her pleasure to receive them from the hand of a poet." +These words were said half in jest; but it was the first time that +anybody had connected my name with that of poet. It went through me, +body and soul, and tears filled my eyes. I know that, from this very +moment, my mind was awoke to writing and poetry. Formerly it had been +merely an amusement by way of variety from my puppet-theatre. + +At Bakkehus lived also Professor Thiele, a young student at that time, +but even then the editor of the Danish popular legends, and known to +the public as the solver of Baggesen's riddle, and as the writer of +beautiful poetry. He was possessed of sentiment, true inspiration, and +heart. He had calmly and attentively watched the unfolding of my mind, +until we now became friends. He was one of the few who, at that time, +spoke the truth of me, when other people were making themselves merry +at my expense, and having only eyes for that which was ludicrous in me. +People had called me, in jest, the little orator, and, as such, I was +an object of curiosity. They found amusement in me, and I mistook every +smile for a smile of applause. One of my later friends has told me that +it probably was about this period that he saw me for the first time. It +was in the drawing-room of a rich tradesman, where people were making +themselves very merry with me. They desired me to repeat one of my +poems, and, as I did this with great feeling, the merriment was changed +into sympathy with me. + +I heard it said every day, what a good thing it would be for me if I +could study. People advised me to devote myself to science, but no one +moved one step to enable me to do so; it was labor enough for me to keep +body and soul together. It therefore occurred to me to write a tragedy, +which I would offer to the Theatre Royal, and would then begin to study +with the money which I should thus obtain. Whilst Guldberg instructed +me in Danish, I had written a tragedy from a German story, called The +Chapel in the Wood; yet as this was done merely as an exercise in the +language, and, as he forbade me in the most decided manner to bring it +out, I would not do so. I originated my own material, therefore; and +within fourteen days I wrote my national tragedy called the Robbers in +Wissenberg (the name of a little village in Funen.) There was scarcely +a word in it correctly written, as I had no person to help me, because +I meant it to be anonymous; there was, nevertheless, one person admitted +into the secret, namely, the young lady whom I had met with in Odense, +during my preparation for confirmation, the only one who at that +time showed me kindness and good-will. It was through her that I was +introduced to the Colbj÷rnsen family, and thus known and received in all +those circles of which the one leads into the other. She paid some one +to prepare a legible copy of my piece, and undertook to present it for +perusal. After an interval of six weeks, I received it back, accompanied +by a letter which said the people did not frequently wish to retain +works which betrayed, in so great a degree, a want of elementary +knowledge. + +It was just at the close of the theatrical season, in May, 1823, that I +received a letter from the directors, by which I was dismissed from +the singing and dancing school, the letter adding also, that my +participation in the school-teaching could lead to no advantage for me, +but that they wished some of my many friends would enable me to receive +an education, without which, talent availed nothing. I felt myself +again, as it were, cast out into the wide world without help and without +support. It was absolutely necessary that I should write a piece for the +theatre, and that _must_ be accepted; there was no other salvation for +me. I wrote, therefore, a tragedy founded on a passage in history, and +I called it Alfsol. I was delighted with the first act, and with this I +immediately went to the Danish translator of Shakspeare, Admiral Wulff, +now deceased, who good-naturedly heard me read it. In after years I +met with the most cordial reception in his family. At that time I also +introduced myself to our celebrated physician Oersted, and his house has +remained to me to this day an affectionate home, to which my heart has +firmly attached itself, and where I find my oldest and most unchangeable +friends. + +A favorite preacher, the rural dean Gutfeldt, was living at that time, +and he it was who exerted himself most earnestly for my tragedy, which +was now finished; and having written a letter of recommendation, he +sent it to the managers of the theatre. I was suspended between hope and +fear. In the course of the summer I endured bitter want, but I told it +to no one, else many a one, whose sympathy I had experienced, would have +helped me to the utmost of their means. A false shame prevented me from +confessing what I endured. Still happiness filled my heart. I read then +for the first time the works of Walter Scott. A new world was opened to +me: I forgot the reality, and gave to the circulating library that which +should have provided me with a dinner. + +The present conference councillor, Collin, one of the most distinguished +men of Denmark, who unites with the greatest ability the noblest and +best heart, to whom I looked up with confidence in all things, who has +been a second father to me, and in whose children I have found brothers +and sisters;--this excellent man I saw now for the first time. He was at +that time director of the Theatre Royal, and people universally told me +that it would be the best thing for me if he would interest himself on +my behalf: it was either Oersted or Gutfeldt who first mentioned me to +him; and now for the first time I went to that house which was to become +so dear to me. Before the ramparts of Copenhagen were extended, this +house lay outside the gate, and served as a summer residence to +the Spanish Ambassador; now, however, it stands, a crooked, angular +frame-work building, in a respectable street; an old-fashioned wooden +balcony leads to the entrance, and a great tree spreads its green +branches over the court and its pointed gables. It was to become a +paternal house to me. Who does not willingly linger over the description +of home? + +I discovered only the man of business in Collin; his conversation was +grave and in few words. I went away, without expecting any sympathy from +this man; and yet it was precisely Collin who in all sincerity thought +for my advantage, and who worked for it silently, as he had done for +others, through the whole course of his active life. But at that time I +did not understand the apparent calmness with which he listened, whilst +his heart bled for the afflicted, and he always labored for them with +zeal and success, and knew how to help them. He touched so lightly upon +my tragedy, which had been sent to him, and on account of which many +people had overwhelmed me with flattering speeches, that I regarded him +rather as an enemy than a protector. + +In a few day I was sent for by the directors of the theatre, when Rahbek +gave me back my play as useless for the stage; adding, however, that +there were so many grains of corn scattered in it, that it was hoped, +that perhaps, by earnest study, after going to school and the previous +knowledge of all that is requisite, I might, some time, be able to write +a work which should be worthy of being acted on the Danish stage. + +In order therefore to obtain the means for my support and the necessary +instruction, Collin recommended me to King Frederick the Sixth, who +granted to me a certain sum annually for some years; and, by means of +Collin also, the directors of the high schools allowed me to receive +free instruction in the grammar school at Slagelse, where just then a +new, and, as was said, an active rector was appointed. I was almost +dumb with astonishment: never had I thought that my life would take this +direction, although I had no correct idea of the path which I had now to +tread. I was to go with the earliest mail to Slagelse, which lay twelve +Danish miles from Copenhagen, to the place where also the poets Baggesen +and Ingemann had gone to school. I was to receive money quarterly from +Collin; I was to apply to him in all cases, and he it was who was to +ascertain my industry and my progress. + +I went to him the second time to express to him my thanks. Mildly and +kindly he said to me, "Write to me without restraint about everything +which you require, and tell me how it goes with you." From this hour I +struck root in his heart; no father could have been more to me than he +was, and is; none could have more heartily rejoiced in my happiness, +and my after reception with the public; none have shared my sorrow more +kindly; and I am proud to say that one of the most excellent men +which Denmark possesses feels towards me as towards his own child. His +beneficence was conferred without his making me feel it painful either +by word or look. That was not the case with every one to whom, in this +change of my fortunes, I had to offer my thanks; I was told to think +of my inconceivable happiness and my poverty; in Collin's words was +expressed the warm-heartedness of a father, and to him it was that +properly I was indebted for everything. + +The journey was hastily determined upon, and I had yet for myself some +business to arrange. I had spoken to an acquaintance from Odense who had +the management of a small printing concern, for a widow, to get "Alfsal" +printed, that I might, by the sale of the work, make a little money. +Before, however, the piece was printed, it was necessary that I should +obtain a certain number of subscribers; but these were not obtained, and +the manuscript lay in the printing-office, which, at the time I went to +fetch it away, was shut up. Some years afterwards, however, it suddenly +made its appearance in print without my knowledge or my desire, in its +unaltered shape, but without my name. + +On a beautiful autumn day I set off with the mail from Copenhagen to +begin my school-life in Slagelse. A young student, who a month before +had passed his first examination, and now was travelling home to Jutland +to exhibit himself there as a student, and to see once more his parents +and his friends, sate at my side and exulted for joy over the new life +which now lay before him; he assured me that he should be the most +unhappy of human beings if he were in my place, and were again beginning +to go to the grammar school. But I travelled with a good heart towards +the little city of Zealand. My mother received a joyful letter from +me. I only wished that my father and the old grandmother yet lived, and +could hear that I now went to the grammar school. + + + +CHAPTER III. + +When, late in the evening, I arrived at the inn in Slagelse, I asked the +hostess if there were anything remarkable in the city. + +"Yes," said she, "a new English fire-engine and Pastor Bastholm's +library," and those probably were all the lions in the city. A few +officers of the Lancers composed the fine-gentleman world. Everybody +knew what was done in everybody's house, whether a scholar was elevated +or degraded in his class, and the like. A private theatre, to which, +at general rehearsal, the scholars of the grammar school and the +maid-servants of the town had free entrance, furnished rich material for +conversation. The place was remote from woods, and still farther from +the coast; but the great post-road went through the city, and the +post-horn resounded from the rolling carriage. + +I boarded with a respectable widow of the educated class, and had a +little chamber looking out into the garden and field. My place in +the school was in the lowest class, among little boys:--I knew indeed +nothing at all. + +I was actually like a wild bird which is confined in a cage; I had the +greatest desire to learn, but for the moment I floundered about, as if +I had been thrown into the sea; the one wave followed another; grammar, +geography, mathematics--I felt myself overpowered by them, and feared +that I should never be able to acquire all these. The rector, who took a +peculiar delight in turning everything to ridicule, did not, of course, +make an exception in my case. To me he stood then as a divinity; I +believed unconditionally every word which he spoke. One day, when I had +replied incorrectly to his question, and he said that I was stupid, I +mentioned it to Collin, and told him my anxiety, lest I did not deserve +all that people had done for me; but he consoled me. Occasionally, +however, on some subjects of instruction, I began to receive a +good certificate, and the teachers were heartily kind to me; yet, +notwithstanding that I advanced, I still lost confidence in myself more +and more. On one of the first examinations, however, I obtained the +praise of the rector. He wrote the same in my character-book; and, happy +in this, I went a few days afterwards to Copenhagen. Guldberg, who saw +the progress I had made, received me kindly, and commended my zeal; and +his brother in Odense furnished me the next summer with the means of +visiting the place of my birth, where I had not been since I left it to +seek adventures. I crossed the Belt, and went on foot to Odense. When +I came near enough to see the lofty old church tower, my heart was more +and more affected; I felt deeply the care of God for me, and I burst +into tears. My mother rejoiced over me. The families of Iversen and +Guldberg received me cordially; and in the little streets I saw the +people open their windows to look after me, for everybody knew how +remarkably well things had fared with me; nay, I fancied I actually +stood upon the pinnacle of fortune, when one of the principal citizens, +who had built a high tower to his house, led me up there, and I looked +out thence over the city, and the surrounding country, and some old +women in the hospital below, who had known me from childhood, pointed up +to me. + +As soon, however, as I returned to Slagelse, this halo of glory +vanished, as well as every thought of it. I may freely confess that I +was industrious, and I rose, as soon as it was possible, into a higher +class; but in proportion as I rose did I feel the pressure upon me more +strongly, and that my endeavors were not sufficiently productive. Many +an evening, when sleep overcame me, did I wash my head with cold water, +or run about the lonely little garden, till I was again wakeful, and +could comprehend the book anew. The rector filled up a portion of +his hours of teaching with jests, nicknames, and not the happiest of +witticisms. I was as if paralyzed with anxiety when he entered the room, +and from that cause my replies often expressed the opposite of +that which I wished to say, and thereby my anxiety was all the more +increased. What was to become of me? + +In a moment of ill-humor I wrote a letter to the head master, who was +one of those who was most cordially opposed to me. I said in this letter +that I regarded myself as a person so little gifted by nature, that it +was impossible for me to study, and that the people in Copenhagen threw +away the money which they spent upon me: I besought him therefore to +counsel me what I should do. The excellent man strengthened me with mild +words, and wrote to me a most friendly and consolatory letter; he said +that the rector meant kindly by me--that it was his custom and way of +acting--that I was making all the progress that people could expect +from me, and that I need not doubt of my abilities. He told me that he +himself was a peasant youth of three and twenty, older than I myself +was, when he began his studies; the misfortune for me was, that I ought +to have been treated differently to the other scholars, but that this +could hardly be done in a school; but that things were progressing, and +that I stood well both with the teachers and my fellow students. + +Every Sunday we had to attend the church and hear an old preacher; the +other scholars learned their lessons in history and mathematics while he +preached; I learned my task in religion, and thought that, by so doing, +it was less sinful. The general rehearsals at the private theatre were +points of light in my school life; they took place in a back building, +where the lowing of the cows might be heard; the street-decoration was +a picture of the marketplace of the city, by which means the +representation had something familiar about it; it amused the +inhabitants to see their own houses. + +On Sunday afternoons it was my delight to go to the castle of +Antvorskov, at that time only half ruinous, and once a monastery, where +I pursued the excavating of the ruined cellars, as if it had been a +Pompeii. I also often rambled to the crucifix of St. Anders, which +stands upon one of the heights of Slagelse, and which is one of the +wooden crosses erected in the time of Catholicism in Denmark. St. Anders +was a priest in Slagelse, and travelled to the Holy Land; on the last +day he remained so long praying on the holy grave, that the ship sailed +away without him. Vexed at this circumstance, he walked along the +shore, where a man met him riding on an ass, and took him up with him. +Immediately he fell asleep, and when he awoke he heard the bells of +Slagelse ringing. He lay upon the (Hvileh÷i) hill of rest, where the +cross now stands. He was at home a year and a day before the ship +returned, which had sailed away without him, and an angel had borne him +home. The legend, and the place where he woke, were both favorites +of mine. From this spot I could see the ocean and Funen. Here I could +indulge my fancies; when at home, my sense of duty chained my thoughts +only to my books. + +The happiest time, however, was when, once on a Sunday, whilst the wood +was green, I went to the city of Sor÷, two (Danish) miles from Slagelse, +and which lies in the midst of woods, surrounded by lakes. Here is an +academy for the nobility, founded by the poet Holberg. Everything lay in +a conventual stillness. I visited here the poet Ingemann, who had just +married, and who held a situation as teacher; he had already received me +kindly in Copenhagen; but here his reception of me was still more kind. +His life in this place seemed to me like a beautiful story; flowers +and vines twined around his window; the rooms were adorned with the +portraits of distinguished poets, and other pictures. We sailed upon +the lake with an Aeolian harp made fast to the mast. Ingemann talked so +cheerfully, and his excellent, amiable wife treated me as if she were +an elder sister:--I loved these people. Our friendship has grown with +years. I have been from that time almost every summer a welcome guest +there, and I have experienced that there are people in whose society one +is made better, as it were; that which is bitter passes away, and the +whole world appears in sunlight. + +Among the pupils in the academy of nobles, there were two who made +verses; they knew that I did the same, and they attached themselves +to me. The one was Petit, who afterwards, certainly with the best +intention, but not faithfully, translated several of my books; the +other, the poet Karl Bagger, one of the most gifted of men who has come +forward in Danish literature, but who has been unjustly judged. His +poems are full of freshness and originality; his story, "The Life of my +Brother," is a genial book, by the critique on which the Danish Monthly +Review of Literature has proved that it does not understand how to +give judgment. These two academicians were very different from me: life +rushed rejoicingly through their veins; I was sensitive and childlike. +In my character-book I always received, as regarded my conduct, +"remarkably good." On one occasion, however, I only obtained the +testimony of "very good;" and so anxious and childlike was I, that +I wrote a letter to Collin on that account, and assured him in grave +earnestness, that I was perfectly innocent, although I had only obtained +a character of "very good." + +The rector grew weary of his residence in Slagelse; he applied for the +vacant post of rector in the grammar-school of Helsing÷r, and obtained +it. He told me of it, and added kindly, that I might write to Collin and +ask leave to accompany him thither; that I might live in his house, and +could even now remove to his family; I should then in half a year become +a student, which could not be the case if I remained behind, and that +then he would himself give me some private lessons in Latin and Greek. +On this same occasion he wrote also to Collin; and this letter, which +I afterwards saw, contained the greatest praise of my industry, of the +progress I had made, and of my good abilities, which last I imagined +that he thoroughly mistook, and for the want of which, I myself had so +often wept. I had no conception that he judged of me so favorably; it +would have strengthened and relieved me had I known it; whereas, on the +contrary, his perpetual blame depressed me. I, of course, immediately +received Collin's permission, and removed to the house of the rector. +But that, alas! was an unfortunate house. + +I accompanied him to Helsing÷r, one of the loveliest places in Denmark, +close to the Sound, which is at this place not above a mile (Danish) +broad, and which seems like a blue, swelling river between Denmark and +Sweden. The ships of all nations sail past daily by hundreds; in winter +the ice forms a firm bridge between the two countries, and when in +spring this breaks up, it resembles a floating glacier. The scenery +here made a lively impression upon me, but I dared only to cast stolen +glances at it. When the school hours were over, the house door was +commonly locked; I was obliged to remain in the heated school-room and +learn my Latin, or else play with the children, or sit in my little +room; I never went out to visit anybody. My life in this family +furnishes the most evil dreams to my remembrance. I was almost overcome +by it, and my prayer to God every evening was, that he would remove this +cup from me and let me die. I possessed not an atom of confidence +in myself. I never mentioned in my letters how hard it went with me, +because the rector found his pleasure in making a jest of me, and +turning my feelings to ridicule. I never complained of any one, with the +exception of myself. I knew that they would say in Copenhagen, "He has +not the desire to do any thing; a fanciful being can do no good with +realities." + +My letters to Collin, written at this time, showed such a gloomy +despairing state of mind, that they touched him deeply; but people +imagined that was not to be helped; they fancied that it was my +disposition, and not, as was the case, that it was the consequence +of outward influences. My temper of mind was thoroughly buoyant, and +susceptible of every ray of sunshine; but only on one single holiday in +the year, when I could go to Copenhagen, was I able to enjoy it. + +What a change it was to get for a few days out of the rector's rooms +into a house in Copenhagen, where all was elegance, cleanliness, and +full of the comforts of refined life! This was at Admiral Wulff's, whose +wife felt for me the kindness of a mother, and whose children met me +with cordiality; they dwelt in a portion of the Castle of Amalienburg, +and my chamber looked out into the square. I remember the first evening +there; Aladdin's words passed through my mind, when he looked down from +his splendid castle into the square, and said, "Here came I as a poor +lad." My soul was full of gratitude. + + During my whole residence in Slagelse I had scarcely written more than +four or five poems; two of which, "The Soul," and "To my Mother," +will be found printed in my collected works. During my school-time at +Helsing÷r I wrote only one single poem, "The Dying Child;" a poem which, +of all my after works, became most popular and most widely circulated. I +read it to some acquaintance in Copenhagen; some were struck by it, but +most of them only remarked my Funen dialect, which drops the d in every +word. I was commended by many; but from the greater number I received +a lecture on modesty, and that I should not get too great ideas of +myself--I who really at that time thought nothing of myself. [Footnote: +How beautifully is all this part of the author's experience reflected +in that of Antonio, the Improvisatore, whose highly sensitive nature was +too often wounded by the well-meant lectures of patrons and common-place +minds.--M. H.] + +At the house of Admiral Wulff I saw many men of the most distinguished +talent, and among them all my mind paid the greatest homage to one--that +was the poet Adam Oehlenschl ger. I heard his praise resound from every +mouth around me; I looked up to him with the most pious faith: I +was happy when one evening, in a large brilliantly-lighted drawing +room--where I deeply felt that my apparel was the shabbiest there, and +for that reason I concealed myself behind the long curtains--Oehlenschl +ger came to me and offered me his hand. I could have fallen before him +on my knees. I again saw Weyse, and heard him improvise upon the piano. +Wulff himself read aloud his translations of Byron; and Oehlenschl ger's +young daughter Charlotte surprised me by her joyous, merry humor. + +From such a house as this, I, after a few days, returned to the rector, +and felt the difference deeply. He also came direct from Copenhagen, +where he had heard it said that I had read in company one of my own +poems. He looked at me with a penetrating glance, and commanded me to +bring him the poem, when, if he found in it one spark of poetry, he +would forgive me. I tremblingly brought to him "The Dying Child;" he +read it, and pronounced it to be sentimentality and idle trash. He gave +way freely to his anger. If he had believed that I wasted my time +in writing verses, or that I was of a nature which required a severe +treatment, then his intention would have been good; but he could +not pretend this. But from this day forward my situation was more +unfortunate than ever; I suffered so severely in my mind that I was very +near sinking under it. That was the darkest, the most unhappy time in my +life. + +Just then one of the masters went to Copenhagen, and related to Collin +exactly what I had to bear, and immediately he removed me from the +school and from the rector's house. When, in taking leave of him, +I thanked him for the kindness which I had received from him, the +passionate man cursed me, and ended by saying that I should never +become a student, that my verses would grow mouldy on the floor of the +bookseller's shop, and that I myself should end my days in a mad-house. +I trembled to my innermost being, and left him. + +Several years afterwards, when my writings were read, when the +Improvisatore first came out, I met him in Copenhagen; he offered me his +hand in a conciliatory manner, and said that he had erred respecting me, +and had treated me wrong; but it now was all the same to me. The heavy, +dark days had also produced their blessing in my life. A young man, who +afterwards became celebrated in Denmark for his zeal in the Northern +languages and in history, became my teacher. I hired a little garret; it +is described in the Fiddler; and in The Picture Book without Pictures, +people may see that I often received there visits from the moon. I had +a certain sum allowed for my support; but as instruction was to be paid +for, I had to make savings in other ways. A few families through the +week-days gave me a place at their tables. I was a sort of boarder, as +many another poor student in Copenhagen is still: there was a variety in +it; it gave an insight into the several kinds of family life, which +was not without its influence on me. I studied industriously; in +some particular branches I had considerably distinguished myself in +Helsing÷r, especially in mathematics; these were, therefore, now much +more left to myself: everything tended to assist me in my Greek and +Latin studies; in one direction, however, and that the one in which it +would least have been expected, did my excellent teacher find much to +do; namely, in religion. He closely adhered to the literal meaning of +the Bible; with this I was acquainted, because from my first entrance +in the school I had clearly understood what was said and taught by it. I +received gladly, both with feeling and understanding, the doctrine, that +God is love: everything which opposed this--a burning hell, therefore, +whose fire endured forever--I could not recognize. Released from the +distressing existence of the school-bench, I now expressed myself like a +free man; and my teacher, who was one of the noblest and most amiable +of human beings, but who adhered firmly to the letter, was often quite +distressed about me. We disputed, whilst pure flames kindled within our +hearts. It was nevertheless good for me that I came to this unspoiled, +highly-gifted young man, who was possessed of a nature as peculiar as my +own. + +That which, on the contrary, was an error in me, and which became very +perceptible, was a pleasure which I had, not in jesting with, but in +playing with my best feelings, and in regarding the understanding as the +most important thing in the world. The rector had completely mistaken my +undisguisedly candid and sensitive character; my excitable feelings were +made ridiculous, and thrown back upon themselves; and now, when I could +freely advance upon the way to my object, this change showed itself in +me. From severe suffering I did not rush into libertinism, but into an +erroneous endeavor to appear other than I was. I ridiculed feeling, +and fancied that I had quite thrown it aside; and yet I could be made +wretched for a whole day, if I met with a sour countenance where I +expected a friendly one. Every poem which I had formerly written with +tears, I now parodied, or gave to it a ludicrous refrain; one of which +I called "The Lament of the Kitten," another, "The Sick Poet." The few +poems which I wrote at that time were all of a humorous character: a +complete change had passed over me; the stunted plant was reset, and now +began to put forth new shoots. + +Wulff's eldest daughter, a very clever and lively girl, understood and +encouraged the humor, which made itself evident in my few poems; she +possessed my entire confidence; she protected me like a good sister, and +had great influence over me, whilst she awoke in me a feeling for the +comic. + +At this time, also, a fresh current of life was sent through the Danish +literature; for this the people had an interest, and politics played no +part in it. + +Heiberg, who had gained the acknowledged reputation of a poet by his +excellent works, "Psyche" and "Walter the Potter," had introduced the +vaudeville upon the Danish stage; it was a Danish vaudeville, blood of +our blood, and was therefore received with acclamation, and supplanted +almost everything else. Thalia kept carnival on the Danish stage, and +Heiberg was her secretary. I made his acquaintance first at Oersted's. +Refined, eloquent, and the hero of the day, he pleased me in a high +degree; he was most kind to me, and I visited him; he considered one of +my humorous poems worthy of a place in his most excellent weekly paper, +"The Flying Post." Shortly before I had, after a deal of trouble, got +my poem of "The Dying Child" printed in a paper; none of the many +publishers of journals, who otherwise accept of the most lamentable +trash, had the courage to print a poem by a schoolboy. My best known +poem they printed at that time, accompanied by an excuse for it. Heiberg +saw it, and gave it in his paper an honorable place. Two humorous poems, +signed H., were truly my debut with him. + +I remember the first evening when the "Flying Post" appeared with my +verses in it. I was with a family who wished me well, but who regarded +my poetical talent as quite insignificant, and who found something to +censure in every line. The master of the house entered with the "Flying +Post" in his hand. + +"This evening," said he, "there are two excellent poems: they are by +Heiberg; nobody else could write anything like them." And now my +poems were received with rapture. The daughter, who was in my secret, +exclaimed, in her delight, that I was the author. They were all struck +into silence, and were vexed. That wounded me deeply. + +One of our least esteemed writers, but a man of rank, who was very +hospitable, gave me one day a seat at his table. He told me that a +new year's gift would come out, and that he was applied to for a +contribution. I said that a little poem of mine, at the wish of the +publisher, would appear in the same new year's gift. + +"What, then, everybody and anybody are to contribute to this book!" said +the man in vexation: "then he will need nothing from me; I certainly can +hardly give him anything." + +My teacher dwelt at a considerable distance from me. I went to him +twice each day, and on the way there my thoughts were occupied with my +lessons. On my return, however, I breathed more freely, and then bright +poetical ideas passed through my brain, but they were never committed to +paper; only five or six humorous poems were written in the course of the +year, and these disturbed me less when they were laid to rest on paper +than if they had remained in my mind. + +In September, 1828, I was a student; and when the examination was over, +the thousand ideas and thoughts, by which I was pursued on the way to my +teacher, flew like a swarm of bees out into the world, and, indeed, into +my first work, "A Journey on Foot to Amack;" a peculiar, humorous book, +but one which fully exhibited my own individual character at that time, +my disposition to sport with everything, and to jest in tears over my +own feelings--a fantastic, gaily-colored tapestry-work. No publisher had +the courage to bring out that little book; I therefore ventured to do +it myself, and, in a few days after its appearance, the impression was +sold. Publisher Keitzel bought from me the second edition; after a while +he had a third; and besides this, the work was reprinted in Sweden. + +Everybody read my book; I heard nothing but praise; I was "a +student,"--I had attained the highest goal of my wishes. I was in a +whirl of joy; and in this state I wrote my first dramatic work, "Love on +the Nicholas Tower, or, What says the Pit?" It was unsuccessful, because +it satirized that which no longer existed amongst us, namely, the shows +of the middle ages; besides which, it rather ridiculed the enthusiasm +for the vaudeville. The subject of it was, in short, as follows:--The +watchman of the Nicholas Tower, who always spoke as a knight of the +castle, wished to give his daughter to the watchman of the neighboring +church-tower; but she loved a young tailor, who had made a journey to +the grave of Eulenspiegel, and was just now returned, as the punch-bowl +steamed, and was to be emptied in honor of the young lady's consent +being given. The lovers escape together to the tailor's herberg, where +dancing and merriment are going forward. The watchman, however, fetches +back his daughter; but she had lost her senses, and she assured them +that she never would recover them, unless she had her tailor. The old +watchman determines that Fate should decide the affair; but, then, who +was Fate? The idea then comes into his head that the public shall be +his Pythia, and that the public shall decide whether she should have the +tailor or the watchman. They determine, therefore, to send to one of the +youngest of the poets, and beg him to write the history in the style of +the vaudeville, a kind of writing which was the most successful at that +time, and when the piece was brought upon the stage, and the public +either whistled or hissed, it should be in no wise considered that the +work of the young author had been unsuccessful, but that it should be +the voice of Fate, which said, "She shall marry the watchman." If, on +the contrary, the piece was successful, it indicated that she should +have the tailor; and this last, remarked the father, must be said in +prose, in order that the public may understand it. Now every one of +the characters thought himself on the stage, where in the epilogue +the lovers besought the public for their applause, whilst the watchman +begged them either to whistle, or at least to hiss. + +My fellow students received the piece with acclamation; they were proud +of me. I was the second of their body who in this year had brought out +a piece on the Danish stage; the other was Arnesen, student at the same +time with me, and author of a vaudeville called "The Intrigue in the +People's Theatre," a piece which had a great run. We were the two young +authors of the October examination, two of the sixteen poets which this +year produced, and whom people in jest divided into the four great and +the twelve small poets. + +I was now a happy human being; I possessed the soul of a poet, and the +heart of youth; all houses began to be open to me; I flew from circle to +circle. Still, however, I devoted myself industriously to study, so that +in September, 1829, I passed my _Examen philologicum et philosophicum_, +and brought out the first collected edition of my poems, which met with +great praise. Life lay bright with sunshine before me. + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +Until now I had only seen a small part of my native land, that is to +say, a few points in Funen and Zealand, as well as Moen's Klint, which +last is truly one of our most beautiful places; the beechwoods there +hang like a garland over the white chalk cliffs, from which a view is +obtained far over the Baltic. I wished, therefore, in the summer of +1830, to devote my first literary proceeds to seeing Jutland, and making +myself more thoroughly acquainted with my own Funen. I had no idea how +much solidity of mind I should derive from this summer excursion, or +what a change was about to take place in my inner life. + +Jutland, which stretches between the German Ocean and the Baltic, +until it ends at Skagen in a reef of quicksands, possesses a peculiar +character. Towards the Baltic extend immense woods and hills; towards +the North Sea, mountains and quicksands, scenery of a grand and solitary +character; and between the two, infinite expanses of brown heath, with +their wandering gipsies, their wailing birds, and their deep solitude, +which the Danish poet, Steen Blicher, has described in his novels. + +This was the first foreign scenery which I had ever seen, and the +impression, therefore, which it made upon me was very strong. [Footnote: +This impressive and wild scenery, with its characteristic figures, of +gipsies etc., is most exquisitely introduced into the author's novel of +"O. T."; indeed it gives a coloring and tone to the whole work, which +the reader never can forget. In my opinion Andersen never wrote anything +finer in the way of description than many parts of this work, though as +a story it is not equal to his others.--M. H.] In the cities, where +my "Journey on Foot" and my comic poems were known, I met with a good +reception. Funen revealed her rural life to me; and, not far from my +birth-place of Odense, I passed several weeks at the country seat of the +elder Iversen as a welcome guest. Poems sprung forth upon paper, but +of the comic fewer and fewer. Sentiment, which I had so often derided, +would now be avenged. I arrived, in the course of my journey, at the +house of a rich family in a small city; and here suddenly a new world +opened before me, an immense world, which yet could be contained in four +lines, which I wrote at that time:-- + + A pair of dark eyes fixed my sight, + They were my world, my home, my delight, + The soul beamed in them, and childlike peace, + And never on earth will their memory cease. + +New plans of life occupied me. I would give up writing poetry,--to what +could it lead? I would study theology, and become a preacher; I had only +one thought, and that was _she_. But it was self-delusion: she loved +another; she married him. It was not till several years later that I +felt and acknowledged that it was best, both for her and for myself, +that things had fallen out as they were. She had no idea, perhaps, how +deep my feeling for her had been, or what an influence it produced in +me. She had become the excellent wife of a good man, and a happy mother. +God's blessing rest upon her! + +In my "Journey on Foot," and in most of my writings, satire had been the +prevailing characteristic. This displeased many people, who thought that +this bent of mind could lead to no good purpose. The critics now blamed +me precisely for that which a far deeper feeling had expelled from my +breast. A new collection of Poetry, "Fancies and Sketches," which +was published for the new year, showed satisfactorily what my heart +suffered. A paraphrase of the history of my own heart appeared in a +serious vaudeville, "Parting and Meeting," with this difference only, +that here the love was mutual: the piece was not presented on the stage +till five years later. + +Among my young friends in Copenhagen at that time was Orla Lehmann, who +afterwards rose higher in popular favor, on account of his political +efforts than any man in Denmark. Full of animation, eloquent and +undaunted, his character of mind was one which interested me also. The +German language was much studied at his father's; they had received +there Heine's poems, and they were very attractive for young Orla. +He lived in the country, in the neighborhood of the castle of +Fredericksberg. I went there to see him, and he sang as I came one of +Heine's verses, "Thalatta, Thalatta, du eviges Meer." We read Heine +together; the afternoon and the evening passed, and I was obliged to +remain there all night; but I had on this evening made the acquaintance +of a poet, who, as it seemed to me, sang from the soul; he supplanted +Hoffman, who, as might be seen by my "Journey on Foot," had formerly had +the greatest influence on me. In my youth there were only three authors +who as it were infused themselves into my blood,--Walter Scott, Hoffman, +and Heine. + +I betrayed more and more in my writings an unhealthy turn of mind. I +felt an inclination to seek for the melancholy in life, and to linger +on the dark side of things. I became sensitive and thought rather of +the blame than the praise which was lavished on me. My late school +education, which was forced, and my impulse to become an author whilst +I was yet a student, make it evident that my first work, the "Journey on +Foot," was not without grammatical errors. Had I only paid some one +to correct the press, which was a work I was unaccustomed to, then no +charge of this kind could have been brought against me. Now, on the +contrary, people laughed at these errors, and dwelt upon them, passing +over carelessly that in the book which had merit. I know people who only +read my poems to find out errors; they noted down, for instance, how +often I used the word _beautiful,_ or some similar word. A gentleman, +now a clergyman, at that time a writer of vaudevilles and a critic, was +not ashamed, in a company where I was, to go through several of my poems +in this style; so that a little girl of six years old, who heard with +amazement that he discovered everything to be wrong, took the book, and +pointing out the conjunction _and,_ said, "There is yet a little word +about which you have not scolded." He felt what a reproof lay in the +remark of the child; he looked ashamed and kissed the little one. All +this wounded me; but I had, since my school-days, become somewhat timid, +and that caused me to take it all quietly: I was morbidly sensitive, and +I was good-natured to a fault. Everybody knew it, and some were on +that account almost cruel to me. Everybody wished to teach me; almost +everybody said that I was spoiled by praise, and therefore they would +speak the truth to me. Thus I heard continually of my faults, the real +and the ideal weaknesses. In the mean time, however, my feelings burst +forth; and then I said that I would become a poet whom they should see +honored. But this was regarded only as the crowning mark of the most +unbearable vanity; and from house to house it was repeated. I was a good +man, they said, but one of the vainest in existence; and in that very +time I was often ready wholly to despair of my abilities, and had, as +in the darkest days of my school-life, a feeling, as if my whole talents +were a self-deception. I almost believed so; but it was more than I +could bear, to hear the same thing said, sternly and jeeringly, by +others; and if I then uttered a proud, an inconsiderate word, it was +addressed to the scourge with which I was smitten; and when those who +smite are those we love, then do the scourges become scorpions. + +For this reason Collin thought that I should make a little journey,--for +instance, to North Germany,--in order to divert my mind and furnish me +with new ideas. + +In the spring of 1831, I left Denmark for the first time. I saw L +bek and Hamburg. Everything astonished me and occupied my mind. I saw +mountains for the first time,--the Harzgebirge. The world expanded so +astonishingly before me. My good humor returned to me, as to the bird +of passage. Sorrow is the flock of sparrows which remains behind, and +builds in the nests of the birds of passage. But I did not feel myself +wholly restored. + +In Dresden I made acquaintance with Tieck. Ingemann had given me a +letter to him. I heard him one evening read aloud one of Shakspeare's +plays. On taking leave of him, he wished me a poet's success, embraced +and kissed me; which made the deepest impression upon me. The expression +of his eyes I shall never forget. I left him with tears, and prayed most +fervently to God for strength to enable me to pursue the way after which +my whole soul strove--strength, which should enable me to express that +which I felt in my soul; and that when I next saw Tieck, I might be +known and valued by him. It was not until several years afterwards, when +my later works were translated into German, and well received in his +country, that we saw each other again; I felt the true hand-pressure +of him who had given to me, in my second father-land, the kiss of +consecration. + +In Berlin, a letter of Oersted's procured me the acquaintance of +Chamisso. That grave man, with his long locks and honest eyes, opened +the door to me himself, read the letter, and I know not how it was, but +we understood each other immediately. I felt perfect confidence in +him, and told him so, though it was in bad German. Chamisso understood +Danish; I gave him my poems, and he was the first who translated any of +them, and thus introduced me into Germany. It was thus he spoke of me +at that time in the _Morgenblatt_: "Gifted with wit, fancy, humor, and +a national naivet , Andersen has still in his power tones which awaken +deeper echoes. He understands, in particular, how with perfect ease, by +a few slight but graphic touches, to call into existence little pictures +and landscapes, but which are often so peculiarly local as not to +interest those who are unfamiliar with the home of the poet. Perhaps +that which may be translated from him, or which is so already, may be +the least calculated to give a proper idea of him." + +Chamisso became a friend for my whole life. The pleasure which he had in +my later writings may be seen by the printed letters addressed to me in +the collected edition of his works. + +The little journey in Germany had great influence upon me, as my +Copenhagen friends acknowledged. The impressions of the journey were +immediately written down, and I gave them forth under the title of +"Shadow Pictures." Whether I were actually improved or not, there still +prevailed at home the same petty pleasure in dragging out my faults, the +same perpetual schooling of me; and I was weak enough to endure it from +those who were officious meddlers. I seldom made a joke of it; but if I +did so, it was called arrogance and vanity, and it was asserted that I +never would listen to rational people. Such an instructor once asked me +whether I wrote _Dog_ with a little _d_;--he had found such an error of +the press in my last work. I replied, jestingly, "Yes, because I here +spoke of a little dog." + +But these are small troubles, people will say. Yes, but they are drops +which wear hollows in the rock. I speak of it here; I feel a necessity +to do so; here to protest against the accusation of vanity, which, since +no other error can be discovered in my private life, is seized upon, and +even now is thrown at me like an old medal. + +From the end of the year 1828, to the beginning of 1839, I maintained +myself alone by my writings. Denmark is a small country; but few books +at that time went to Sweden and Norway; and on that account the profit +could not be great. It was difficult for me to pull through,--doubly +difficult, because my dress must in some measure accord with the +circles into which I went. To produce, and always to be producing, +was destructive, nay, impossible. I translated a few pieces for the +theatre,--_La Quarantaine_, and _La Reine de seize ans_; and as, at that +time, a young composer of the name of Hartmann, a grandson of him who +composed the Danish folks-song of "King Christian stood by the tall, +tall mast," wished for text to an opera, I was of course ready to write +it. Through the writings of Hoffman, my attention had been turned to the +masked comedies of Gozzi: I read _Il Corvo_, and finding that it was an +excellent subject, I wrote, in a few weeks, my opera-text of the Raven. +It will sound strange to the ears of countrymen when I say that I, +at that time, recommended Hartmann; that I gave my word for it, in my +letter to the theatrical directors, for his being a man of talent, who +would produce something good. He now takes the first rank among the +living Danish composers. + +I worked up also Walter Scott's "Bride of Lammermoor" for another young +composer, Bredal. Both operas appeared on the stage; but I was subjected +to the most merciless criticism, as one who had stultified the labors of +foreign poets. What people had discovered to be good in me before seemed +now to be forgotten, and all talent was denied to me. The composer +Weyse, my earliest benefactor, whom I have already mentioned, was, on +the contrary, satisfied in the highest degree with my treatment of these +subjects. He told me that he had wished for a long time to compose an +opera from Walter Scott's "Kenilworth." He now requested me to commence +the joint work, and write the text. I had no idea of the summary justice +which would be dealt to me. I needed money to live, and, what still more +determined me to it, I felt flattered to have to work with Weyse our +most celebrated composer. It delighted me that he, who had first spoken +in my favor at Siboni's house, now, as artist, sought a noble connection +with me. I had scarcely half finished the text, when I was already +blamed for having made use of a well-known romance. I wished to give +it up; but Weyse consoled me, and encouraged me to proceed. Afterwards, +before he had finished the music, when I was about to travel abroad, I +committed my fate, as regarded the text, entirely to his hands. He wrote +whole verses of it, and the altered conclusion is wholly his own. It +was a peculiarity of that singular man that he liked no book which ended +sorrowfully. For that reason, Amy must marry Leicester, and Elizabeth +say, "Proud England, I am thine." I opposed this at the beginning; but +afterwards I yielded, and the piece was really half-created by Weyse. It +was brought on the stage, but was not printed, with the exception of +the songs. To this followed anonymous attacks: the city post brought +me letters in which the unknown writers scoffed at and derided me. That +same year I published a new collection of poetry, "The Twelve Months of +the Year;" and this book, though it was afterwards pronounced to contain +the greater part of my best lyrical poems, was then condemned as bad. + +At that time "The Monthly Review of Literature," though it is now +gone to its grave, was in its full bloom. At its first appearance, it +numbered among its co-workers some of the most distinguished names. Its +want, however, was men who were qualified to speak ably on aesthetic +works. Unfortunately, everybody fancies himself able to give an opinion +upon these; but people may write excellently on surgery or pedagogical +science, and may have a name in those things, and yet be dolts in +poetry: of this proofs may be seen. By degrees it became more and more +difficult for the critical bench to find a judge for poetical works. +The one, however, who, through his extraordinary zeal for writing and +speaking, was ready at hand, was the historian and states-councillor +Molbeck, who played, in our time, so great a part in the history of +Danish criticism, that I must speak of him rather more fully. He is an +industrious collector, writes extremely correct Danish, and his Danish +dictionary, let him be reproached with whatever want he may, is a most +highly useful work; but, as a judge of aesthetic works, he is one-sided, +and even fanatically devoted to party spirit. He belongs, unfortunately, +to the men of science, who are only one sixty-fourth of a poet, and who +are the most incompetent judges of aesthetics. He has, for example, +by his critiques on Ingemann's romances, shown how far he is below the +poetry which he censures. He has himself published a volume of poems, +which belong to the common run of books, "A Ramble through Denmark," +written in the _fade_, flowery style of those times, and "A Journey +through Germany, France, and Italy," which seems to be made up out of +books, not out of life. He sate in his study, or in the Royal Library, +where he has a post, when suddenly he became director of the theatre and +censor of the pieces sent in. He was sickly, one-sided in judgment, and +irritable: people may imagine the result. He spoke of my first poems +very favorably; but my star soon sank for another, who was in the +ascendant, a young lyrical poet, Paludan Muller; and, as he no longer +loved, he hated me. That is the short history; indeed, in the selfsame +Monthly Review the very poems which had formerly been praised were +now condemned by the same judge, when they appeared in a new increased +edition. There is a Danish proverb, "When the carriage drags, everybody +pushes behind;" and I proved the truth of it now. + +It happened that a new star in Danish literature ascended at this time. +Heinrich Hertz published his "Letters from the Dead" anonymously: it was +a mode of driving all the unclean things out of the temple. The deceased +Baggesen sent polemical letters from Paradise, which resembled in +the highest degree the style of that author. They contained a sort +of apotheosis of Heiberg, and in part attacks upon Oehlenschl ger and +Hauch. The old story about my orthographical errors was again revived; +my name and my school-days in Slagelse were brought into connection with +St. Anders. + +I was ridiculed, or if people will, I was chastised. Hertz's book went +through all Denmark; people spoke of nothing but him. It made it still +more piquant that the author of the work could not be discovered. People +were enraptured, and justly. Heiberg, in his "Flying Post," defended +a few aesthetical insignificants, but not me. I felt the wound of the +sharp knife deeply. My enemies now regarded me as entirely shut out from +the world of spirits. I however in a short time published a little book, +"Vignettes to the Danish Poets," in which I characterized the dead and +the living authors in a few lines each, but only spoke of that which was +good in them. The book excited attention; it was regarded as one of the +best of my works; it was imitated, but the critics did not meddle with +it. It was evident, on this occasion, as had already been the case, that +the critics never laid hands on those of my works which were the most +successful. + +My affairs were now in their worst condition; and precisely in that same +year in which a stipend for travelling had been conferred upon Hertz, +I also had presented a petition for the same purpose. The universal +opinion was that I had reached the point of culmination, and if I was +to succeed in travelling it must be at this present time. I felt, what +since then has become an acknowledged fact, that travelling would be the +best school for me. In the mean time I was told that to bring it under +consideration I must endeavor to obtain from the most distinguished +poets and men of science a kind of recommendation; because this very +year there were so many distinguished young men who were soliciting a +stipend, that it would be difficult among these to put in an available +claim. I therefore obtained recommendations for myself; and I am, so +far as I know, the only Danish poet who was obliged to produce +recommendations to prove that he was a poet. + +And here also it is remarkable, that the men who recommended me have +each one made prominent some very different qualification which gave +me a claim: for instance, Oehlenschl ger, my lyrical power, and the +earnestness that was in me; Ingemann, my skill in depicting popular +life; Heiberg declared that, since the days of Wessel, no Danish poet +had possessed so much humor as myself; Oersted remarked, every one, +they who were against me as well as those who were for me, agreed on one +subject, and this was that I was a _true_ poet. Thiele expressed himself +warmly and enthusiastically about the power which he had seen in me, +combating against the oppression and the misery of life. I received a +stipend for travelling; Hertz a larger and I a smaller one: and that +also was quite in the order of things. + +"Now be happy," said my friends, "make yourself aware of your unbounded +good fortune! Enjoy the present moment, as it will probably be the only +time in which you will get abroad. You shall hear what people say about +you while you are travelling, and how we shall defend you; sometimes, +however, we shall not be able to do that." + +It was painful to me to hear such things said; I felt a compulsion of +soul to be away, that I might, if possible, breathe freely; but sorrow +is firmly seated on the horse of the rider. More than one sorrow +oppressed my heart, and although I opened the chambers of my heart to +the world, one or two of them I keep locked, nevertheless. On setting +out on my journey, my prayer to God was that I might die far away from +Denmark, or return strengthened for activity, and in a condition to +produce works which should win for me and my beloved ones joy and honor. + +Precisely at the moment of setting out on my journey, the form of my +beloved arose in my heart. Among the few whom I have already named, +there are two who exercised a great influence upon my life and my +poetry, and these I must more particularly mention. A beloved mother, +an unusually liberal-minded and well educated lady, Madame L ss c, had +introduced me into her agreeable circle of friends; she often felt the +deepest sympathy with me in my troubles; she always turned my attention +to the beautiful in nature and the poetical in the details of life, and +as almost everyone regarded me as a poet, she elevated my mind; yes, and +if there be tenderness and purity in anything which I have written, they +are among those things for which I have especially to be thankful +to her. Another character of great importance to me was Collin's +son Edward. Brought up under fortunate circumstances of life, he was +possessed of that courage and determination which I wanted. I felt that +he sincerely loved me, and I full of affection, threw myself upon him +with my whole soul; he passed on calmly and practically through the +business of life. I often mistook him at the very moment when he felt +for me most deeply, and when he would gladly have infused into me a +portion of his own character,--to me who was as a reed shaken by the +wind. In the practical part of life, he, the younger, stood actively by +my side, from the assistance which he gave in my Latin exercises, to +the arranging the business of bringing out editions of my works. He has +always remained the same; and were I to enumerate my friends, he would +be placed by me as the first on the list. When the traveller leaves the +mountains behind him, then for the first time he sees them in their true +form: so is it also with friends. + +I arrived at Paris by way of Cassel and the Rhine. I retained a vivid +impression of all that I saw. The idea for a poem fixed itself firmer +and firmer in my mind; and I hoped, as it became more clearly worked +out, to propitiate by it my enemies. There is an old Danish folks-song +of Agnete and the Merman, which bore an affinity to my own state of +mind, and to the treatment of which I felt an inward impulse. The song +tells that Agnete wandered solitarily along the shore, when a merman +rose up from the waves and decoyed her by his speeches. She followed him +to the bottom of the sea, remained there seven years, and bore him seven +children. One day, as she sat by the cradle, she heard the church bells +sounding down to her in the depths of the sea, and a longing seized her +heart to go to church. By her prayers and tears she induced the merman +to conduct her to the upper world again, promising soon to return. He +prayed her not to forget his children, more especially the little one in +the cradle; stopped up her ears and her mouth, and then led her upwards +to the sea-shore. When, however, she entered the church, all the holy +images, as soon as they saw her, a daughter of sin and from the depths +of the sea, turned themselves round to the walls. She was affrighted, +and would not return, although the little ones in her home below were +weeping. + +I treated this subject freely, in a lyrical and dramatic manner. I +will venture to say that the whole grew out of my heart; all the +recollections of our beechwoods and the open sea were blended in it. + +In the midst of the excitement of Paris I lived in the spirit of the +Danish folks-songs. The most heartfelt gratitude to God filled my soul, +because I felt that all which I had, I had received through his mercy; +yet at the same time I took a lively interest in all that surrounded me. +I was present at one of the July festivals, in their first freshness; it +was in the year 1833. I saw the unveiling of Napoleon's pillar. I gazed +on the world-experienced King Louis Philippe, who is evidently defended +by Providence. I saw the Duke of Orleans, full of health and the +enjoyment of life, dancing at the gay people's ball, in the gay Maison +de Ville. Accident led in Paris to my first meeting with Heine, the +poet, who at that time occupied the throne in my poetical world. When I +told him how happy this meeting and his kind words made me, he said that +this could not very well be the case, else I should have sought him out. +I replied, that I had not done so precisely because I estimated him so +highly. I should have feared that he might have thought it ridiculous +in me, an unknown Danish poet, to seek him out; "and," added I, "your +sarcastic smile would deeply have wounded me." In reply, he said +something friendly. + +Several years afterwards, when we again met in Paris, he gave me a +cordial reception, and I had a view into the brightly poetical portion +of his soul. + +Paul D port met me with equal kindness. Victor Hugo also received me. + + During my journey to Paris, and the whole month that I spent there, I +heard not a single word from home. Could my friends perhaps have nothing +agreeable to tell me? At length, however, a letter arrived; a large +letter, which cost a large sum in postage. My heart beat with joy and +yearning impatience; it was, indeed, my first letter. I opened it, but +I discovered not a single written word, nothing but a Copenhagen +newspaper, containing a lampoon upon me, and that was sent to me all +that distance with postage unpaid, probably by the anonymous writer +himself. This abominable malice wounded me deeply. I have never +discovered who the author was, perhaps he was one of those who +afterwards called me friend, and pressed my hand. Some men have base +thoughts: I also have mine. + +It is a weakness of my country-people, that commonly, when abroad, +during their residence in large cities, they almost live exclusively in +company together; they must dine together, meet at the theatre, and see +all the lions of the place in company. Letters are read by each other; +news of home is received and talked over, and at last they hardly know +whether they are in a foreign land or their own. I had given way to the +same weakness in Paris; and in leaving it, therefore, determined for one +month to board myself in some quiet place in Switzerland, and live only +among the French, so as to be compelled to speak their language, which +was necessary to me in the highest degree. + +In the little city of Lodi, in a valley of the Jura mountains, where the +snow fell in August, and the clouds floated below us, was I received by +the amiable family of a wealthy watchmaker. They would not hear a word +about payment. I lived among them and their friends as a relation, and +when we parted the children wept. We had become friends, although I +could not understand their patois; they shouted loudly into my ear, +because they fancied I must be deaf, as I could not understand them. +In the evenings, in that elevated region, there was a repose and a +stillness in nature, and the sound of the evening bells ascended to +us from the French frontier. At some distance from the city, stood +a solitary house, painted white and clean; on descending through two +cellars, the noise of a millwheel was heard, and the rushing waters of a +river which flowed on here, hidden from the world. I often visited this +place in my solitary rambles, and here I finished my poem of "Agnete and +the Merman," which I had begun in Paris. + +I sent home this poem from Lodi; and never, with my earlier or my later +works, were my hopes so high as they were now. But it was received +coldly. People said I had done it in imitation of Oehlenschl ger, who +at one time sent home masterpieces. Within the last few years, I fancy, +this poem has been somewhat more read, and has met with its friends. It +was, however, a step forwards, and it decided, as it were, unconsciously +to me, my pure lyrical phasis. It has been also of late critically +adjudged in Denmark, that, notwithstanding that on its first appearance +it excited far less attention than some of my earlier and less +successful works, still that in this the poetry is of a deeper, fuller, +and more powerful character than anything which I had hitherto produced. + +This poem closes one portion of my life. + + + +CHAPTER V. + +On the 5th of September, 1833, I crossed the Simplon on my way to Italy. +On the very day, on which, fourteen years before, I had arrived poor and +helpless in Copenhagen, did I set foot in this country of my longing and +of my poetical happiness. It happened in this case, as it often does, +by accident, without any arrangement on my part, as if I had preordained +lucky days in the year; yet good fortune has so frequently been with me, +that I perhaps only remind myself of its visits on my own self-elected +days. + +All was sunshine--all was spring! The vine hung in long trails from tree +to tree; never since have I seen Italy so beautiful. I sailed on Lago +Maggiore; ascended the cathedral of Milan; passed several days in Genoa, +and made from thence a journey, rich in the beauties of nature, along +the shore to Carrara. I had seen statues in Paris, but my eyes were +closed to them; in Florence, before the Venus de Medici, it was for the +first time as if scales fell from my eyes; a new world of art disclosed +itself before me; that was the first fruit of my journey. Here it was +that I first learned to understand the beauty of form--the spirit which +reveals itself in form. The life of the people--nature--all was new to +me; and yet as strangely familiar as if I were come to a home where I +had lived in my childhood. With a peculiar rapidity did I seize +upon everything, and entered into its life, whilst a deep northern +melancholy--it was not home-sickness, but a heavy, unhappy +feeling--filled my breast. I received the news in Rome, of how little +the poem of Agnete, which I had sent home, was thought of there; the +next letter in Rome brought me the news that my mother was dead. I was +now quite alone in the world. + +It was at this time, and in Rome, that my first meeting with Hertz took +place. In a letter which I had received from Collin, he had said that it +would give him pleasure to hear that Hertz and I had become friends; but +even without this wish it would have happened, for Hertz kindly offered +me his hand, and expressed sympathy with my sorrow. He had, of all those +with whom I was at that time acquainted, the most variously cultivated +mind. We had often disputations together, even about the attacks which +had been made upon me at home as a poet. He, who had himself given me a +wound, said the following words, which deeply impressed themselves on +my memory: "Your misfortune is, that you have been obliged to print +everything; the public has been able to follow you step by step. I +believe that even, a Goethe himself must have suffered the same fate, +had he been in your situation." And then he praised my talent for +seizing upon the characteristics of nature, and giving, by a few +intuitive sketches, pictures of familiar life. My intercourse with him +was very instructive to me, and I felt that I had one merciful judge +more. I travelled in company with him to Naples, where we dwelt together +in one house. + +In Rome I also became first acquainted with Thorwaldsen. Many years +before, when I had not long been in Copenhagen, and was walking through +the streets as a poor boy, Thorwaldsen was there too: that was on his +first return home. We met one another in the street. I knew that he was +a distinguished man in art; I looked at him, I bowed; he went on, and +then, suddenly turning round, came back to me, and said, "Where have I +seen you before? I think we know one another." I replied, "No, we do not +know one another at all." I now related this story to him in Rome; he +smiled, pressed my hand, and said, "Yet we felt at that time that +we should become good friends." I read Agnete to him; and that which +delighted me in his judgment upon it was the assertion, "It is just," +said he, "as if I were walking at home in the woods, and heard the +Danish lakes;" and then he kissed me. + +One day, when he saw how distressed I was, and I related to him about +the pasquinade which I had received from home in Paris, he gnashed his +teeth violently, and said, in momentary anger, "Yes, yes, I know the +people; it would not have gone any better with me if I had remained +there; I should then, perhaps, not even have obtained permission to set +up a model. Thank God that I did not need them, for then they know how +to torment and to annoy." He desired me to keep up a good heart, and +then things could not fail of going well; and with that he told me of +some dark passages in his own life, where he in like manner had been +mortified and unjustly condemned. + +After the Carnival, I left Rome for Naples; saw at Capri the blue +Grotto, which was at that time first discovered; visited the temple at +Paestum, and returned in the Easter week to Rome, from whence I went +through Florence and Venice to Vienna and Munich; but I had at that time +neither mind nor heart for Germany; and when I thought on Denmark, I +felt fear and distress of mind about the bad reception which I expected +to find there. Italy, with its scenery and its people's life, occupied +my soul, and towards this land I felt a yearning. My earlier life, and +what I had now seen, blended themselves together into an image--into +poetry, which I was compelled to write down, although I was convinced +that it would occasion me more trouble than joy, if my necessities at +home should oblige me to print it. I had written already in Rome the +first chapter. It was my novel of "The Improvisatore." + +At one of my first visits to the theatre at Odense, as a little boy, +where, as I have already mentioned, the representations were given in +the German language, I saw the Donauweibchen, and the public applauded +the actress of the principal part. Homage was paid to her, and she was +honored; and I vividly remember thinking how happy she must be. + +Many years afterwards, when, as a student, I visited Odense, I saw, +in one of the chambers of the hospital where the poor widows lived and +where one bed stood by another, a female portrait hanging over one bed +in a gilt frame. It was Lessing's Emilia Galotti, and represented her as +pulling the rose to pieces; but the picture was a portrait. It appeared +singular in contrast with the poverty by which it was surrounded. + +"Whom does it represent?" asked I. + +"Oh!" said one of the old women, "it is the face of the German lady, +the poor lady who once was an actress!" And then I saw a little delicate +woman, whose face was covered with wrinkles, and in an old silk gown +that once had been black. That was the once celebrated Singer, who, as +the Donauweibchen, had been applauded by every one. This circumstance +made an indelible impression upon me, and often occurred to my mind. + +In Naples I heard Malibran for the first time. Her singing and acting +surpassed anything which I had hitherto either heard or seen; and yet +I thought the while of the miserably poor singer in the hospital of +Odense: the two figures blended into the Annunciata of the novel. Italy +was the back ground for that which had been experienced and that which +was imagined. In August of 1834 I returned to Denmark. I wrote the first +part of the book at Ingemann's, in Sor÷, in a little chamber in the +roof, among fragrant lime-trees. I finished it in Copenhagen. + +At this time my best friends, even, had almost given me up as a poet; +they said that they had erred with regard to my talents. It was with +difficulty that I found a publisher for the book. I received a miserable +sum of money for it, and the "Improvisatore" made its appearance; +was read, sold out, and again published. The critics were silent; the +newspapers said nothing; but I heard all around me of the interest which +was felt for the work, and the delight that it occasioned. At length the +poet Carl Bagger, who was at that time the editor of a newspaper, wrote +the first critique upon it, and began ironically, with the customary +tirade against me--"that it was all over with this author, who had +already passed his heyday;"--in short, he went the whole length of the +tobacco and tea criticism, in order suddenly to dash out, and to express +his extremely warm enthusiasm for me; and my book. People now laughed +at me, but I wept. This was my mood of mind. I wept freely, and felt +gratitude to God and man. + +"To the Conference Councillor Collin and to his noble wife, in whom I +found parents, whose children were brethren and sisters to me, +whose house was my home, do I here present the best of which I am +possessed."--So ran the dedication. Many who formerly had been my enemy, +now changed their opinion; and among these one became my friend, who, +I hope, will remain so through the whole of my life. That was Hauch the +poet, one of the noblest characters with whom I am acquainted. He had +returned home from Italy after a residence of several years abroad, just +at the time when Heiberg's vaudevilles were intoxicating the inhabitants +of Copenhagen, and when my "Journey on Foot" was making me a little +known. He commenced a controversy with Heiberg, and somewhat scoffed +at me. Nobody called his attention to my better lyrical writings; I was +described to him as a spoiled, petulant child of fortune. He now read +my Improvisatore, and feeling that there was something good in me, his +noble character evinced itself by his writing a cordial letter to me, in +which he said, that he had done me an injustice, and offered me now the +hand of reconciliation. From that time we became friends. He used his +influence for me with the utmost zeal, and has watched my onward career +with heartfelt friendship. But so little able have many people been to +understand what is excellent in him, or the noble connection of heart +between us two, that not long since, when he wrote a novel, and drew in +it the caricature of a poet, whose vanity ended in insanity, the +people in Denmark discovered that he had treated me with the greatest +injustice, because he had described in it my weakness. People must +not believe that this was the assertion of one single person, or a +misapprehension of my character; no; and Hauch felt himself compelled to +write a treatise upon me as a poet, that he might show what a different +place he assigned to me. + +But to return to the "Improvisatore." This book raised my sunken +fortunes; collected my friends again around me, nay, even obtained +for me new ones. For the first time I felt that I had obtained a due +acknowledgment. The book was translated into German by Kruse, with a +long title, _"Jugendleben und Tr ume eines italienischen Dichter's."_ I +objected to the title; but he declared that it was necessary in order to +attract attention to the book. + +Bagger had, as already stated, been the first to pass judgment on +the work; after an interval of some time a second critique made its +appearance, more courteous, it is true, than I was accustomed to, but +still passing lightly over the best things in the book and dwelling +on its deficiencies, and on the number of incorrectly written Italian +words. And, as Nicolai's well-known book, "Italy as it really is," came +out just then, people universally said, "Now we shall be able to see +what it is about which Andersen has written, for from Nicolai a true +idea of Italy may be obtained for the first time." + +It was from Germany that resounded the first decided acknowledgment +of the merits of my work, or rather perhaps its over estimation. I bow +myself in joyful gratitude, like a sick man toward the sunshine, when +my heart is grateful. I am not, as the Danish Monthly Review, in its +critique of the "Improvisatore," condescended to assert, an unthankful +man, who exhibits in his work a want of gratitude towards his +benefactors. I was indeed myself poor Antonio who sighed under the +burden which I had to bear,--_I,_ the poor lad who ate the bread of +charity. From Sweden also, later, resounded my praise, and the Swedish +newspapers contained articles in praise of this work, which within the +last two years has been equally warmly received in England, where Mary +Howitt, the poetess, has translated it into English; the same good +fortune also is said to have attended the book in Holland and Russia. +Everywhere abroad resounded the loudest acknowledgments of its +excellence. + +There exists in the public a power which is stronger than all the +critics and cliques. I felt that I stood at home on firmer ground, and +my spirit again had moments in which it raised its wings for flight. +In this alternation of feeling between gaiety and ill humor, I wrote my +next novel, "O. T.," which is regarded by many persons in Denmark as my +best work;--an estimation which I cannot myself award to it. It contains +characteristic features of town life. My first Tales appeared before "O. +T;" but this is not the place in which to speak of them. I felt just at +this time a strong mental impulse to write, and I believed that I had +found my true element in novel-writing. In the following year, 1837, +I published "Only a Fiddler," a book which on my part had been deeply +pondered over, and the details of which sprang fresh to the paper. My +design was to show that talent is not genius, and that if the sunshine +of good fortune be withheld, this must go to the ground, though without +losing its nobler, better nature. This book likewise had its partisans; +but still the critics would not vouchsafe to me any encouragement; +they forgot that with years the boy becomes a man, and that people +may acquire knowledge in other than the ordinary ways. They could not +separate themselves from their old preconceived opinions. Whilst "O. +T." was going through the press it was submitted sheet by sheet to a +professor of the university, who had himself offered to undertake this +work, and by two other able men also; notwithstanding all this, the +Reviews said, "We find the usual grammatical negligence, which we always +find in Andersen, in this work also." That which contributed likewise to +place this book in the shade was the circumstance of Heiberg having +at that time published his Every-day Stories, which were written in +excellent language, and with good taste and truth. Their own merits, and +the recommendation of their being Heiberg's, who was the beaming star of +literature, placed them in the highest rank. + +I had however advanced so far, that there no longer existed any doubt as +to my poetical ability, which people had wholly denied to me before my +journey to Italy. Still not a single Danish critic had spoken of the +characteristics which are peculiar to my novels. It was not until my +works appeared in Swedish that this was done, and then several Swedish +journals went profoundly into the subject and analyzed my works with +good and honorable intentions. The case was the same in Germany; and +from this country too my heart was strengthened to proceed. It was not +until last year that in Denmark, a man of influence, Hauch the poet, +spoke of the novels in his already mentioned treatise, and with a few +touches brought their characteristics prominently forward. + +"The principal thing," says he, "in Andersen's best and most elaborate +works, in those which are distinguished for the richest fancy, the +deepest feeling, the most lively poetic spirit, is, of talent, or at +least of a noble nature, which will struggle its way out of narrow and +depressing circumstances. This is the case with his three novels, and +with this purpose in view, it is really an important state of existence +which he describes,--an inner world, which no one understands better +than he, who has himself, drained out of the bitter cup of suffering +and renunciation, painful and deep feelings which are closely related +to those of his own experience, and from which Memory, who, according +to the old significant myth, is the mother of the Muses, met him hand in +hand with them. That which he, in these his works, relates to the world, +deserves assuredly to be listened to with attention; because, at +the same time that it may be only the most secret inward life of the +individual, yet it is also the common lot of men of talent and genius, +at least when these are in needy circumstances, as is the case of +those who are here placed before our eyes. In so far as in his +'Improvisatore,' in 'O. T.,' and in 'Only a Fiddler,' he represents not +only himself, in his own separate individuality, but at the same time +the momentous combat which so many have to pass through, and which he +understands so well, because in it his own life has developed itself; +therefore in no instance can he be said to present to the reader what +belongs to the world of illusion, but only that which bears witness +to truth, and which, as is the case with all such testimony, has a +universal and enduring worth. + +"And still more than this, Andersen is not only the defender of talent +and genius, but, at the same time, of every human heart which is +unkindly and unjustly treated. And whilst he himself has so painfully +suffered in that deep combat in which the Laocoon-snakes seize upon the +outstretched hand; whilst he himself has been compelled to drink from +that wormwood-steeped bowl which the cold-blooded and arrogant world +so constantly offers to those who are in depressed circumstances, he is +fully capable of giving to his delineations in this respect a truth +and an earnestness, nay, even a tragic and a pain-awakening pathos that +rarely fails of producing its effect on the sympathizing human heart. +Who can read that scene in his 'Only a Fiddler,' in which the 'high-bred +hound,' as the poet expresses it, 'turned away with disgust from +the broken victuals which the poor youth received as alms, without +recognizing, at the same time, that this is no game in which vanity +seeks for a triumph, but that it expresses much more--human nature +wounded to its inmost depths, which here speaks out its sufferings.'" + +Thus is it spoken in Denmark of my works, after an interval of nine or +ten years; thus speaks the voice of a noble, venerated man. It is with +me and the critics as it is with wine,--the more years pass before it is +drunk the better is its flavor. + +During the year in which "The Fiddler" came out, I visited for the first +time the neighboring country of Sweden. I went by the G÷ta canal +to Stockholm. At that time nobody understood what is now called +Scandinavian sympathies; there still existed a sort of mistrust +inherited from the old wars between the two neighbor nations. Little +was known of Swedish literature, and there were only very few Danes who +could easily read and understand the Swedish language;--people scarcely +knew Tegn r's Frithiof and Axel, excepting through translations. I had, +however, read a few other Swedish authors, and the deceased, unfortunate +Stagnelius pleased me more as a poet than Tegn r, who represented poetry +in Sweden. I, who hitherto had only travelled into Germany and southern +countries, where by this means, the departure from Copenhagen was also +the departure from my mother tongue, felt, in this respect, almost at +home in Sweden: the languages are so much akin, that of two persons +each might read in the language of his own country, and yet the other +understand him. It seemed to me, as a Dane, that Denmark expanded +itself; kinship with the people exhibited itself, in many ways, more +and more; and I felt, livingly, how near akin are Swedes, Danes, and +Norwegians. + +I met with cordial, kind people,--and with these I easily made +acquaintance. I reckon this journey among the happiest I ever made. I +had no knowledge of the character of Swedish scenery, and therefore I +was in the highest degree astonished by the Trollh tta-voyage, and +by the extremely picturesque situation of Stockholm. It sounds to the +uninitiated half like a fairy-tale, when one says that the steam-boat +goes up across the lakes over the mountains, from whence may be seen +the outstretched pine and beechwoods below. Immense sluices heave up and +lower the vessel again, whilst the travellers ramble through the woods. +None of the cascades of Switzerland, none in Italy, not even that of +Terni, have in them anything so imposing as that of Trollh tta. Such is +the impression, at all events, which it made on me. + +On this journey, and at this last-mentioned place, commenced a very +interesting acquaintance, and one which has not been without its +influence on me,--an acquaintance with the Swedish authoress, Fredrika +Bremer. I had just been speaking with the captain of the steam-boat and +some of the passengers about the Swedish authors living in Stockholm, +and I mentioned my desire to see and converse with Miss Bremer. + +"You will not meet with her," said the Captain, "as she is at this +moment on a visit in Norway." + +"She will be coming back while I am there," said I in joke; "I always +am lucky in my journeys, and that which I most wish for is always +accomplished. + +"Hardly this time, however," said the captain. + +A few hours after this he came up to me laughing, with the list of the +newly arrived passengers in his hand. "Lucky fellow," said he aloud, +"you take good fortune with you; Miss Bremer is here, and sails with us +to Stockholm." + +I received it as a joke; he showed me the list, but still I was +uncertain. Among the new arrivals, I could see no one who resembled +an authoress. Evening came on, and about midnight we were on the great +Wener lake. At sunrise I wished to have a view of this extensive lake, +the shores of which could scarcely be seen; and for this purpose I left +the cabin. At the very moment that I did so, another passenger was also +doing the same, a lady neither young nor old, wrapped in a shawl and +cloak. I thought to myself, if Miss Bremer is on board, this must be +she, and fell into discourse with her; she replied politely, but still +distantly, nor would she directly answer my question, whether she was +the authoress of the celebrated novels. She asked after my name; was +acquainted with it, but confessed that she had read none of my works. +She then inquired whether I had not some of them with me, and I lent +her a copy of the "Improvisatore," which I had destined for Beskow. She +vanished immediately with the volumes, and was not again visible all +morning. + +When I again saw her, her countenance was beaming, and she was full of +cordiality; she pressed my hand, and said that she had read the greater +part of the first volume, and that she now knew me. + +The vessel flew with us across the mountains, through quiet inland +lakes and forests, till it arrived at the Baltic Sea, where islands +lie scattered, as in the Archipelago, and where the most remarkable +transition takes place from naked cliffs to grassy islands, and to +those on which stand trees and houses. Eddies and breakers make it here +necessary to take on board a skilful pilot; and there are indeed some +places where every passenger must sit quietly on his seat, whilst the +eye of the pilot is riveted upon one point. On shipboard one feels the +mighty power of nature, which at one moment seizes hold of the vessel +and the next lets it go again. + +Miss Bremer related many legends and many histories, which were +connected with this or that island, or those farm-premises up aloft on +the mainland. + +In Stockholm, the acquaintance with her increased, and year after year +the letters which have passed between us have strengthened it. She is a +noble woman; the great truths of religion, and the poetry which lies in +the quiet circumstances of life, have penetrated her being. + +It was not until after my visit to Stockholm that her Swedish +translation of my novel came out; my lyrical poems only, and my "Journey +on Foot," were known to a few authors; these received me with the utmost +kindness, and the lately deceased Dahlgr n, well known by his humorous +poems, wrote a song in my honor--in short, I met with hospitality, and +countenances beaming with Sunday gladness. Sweden and its inhabitants +became dear to me. The city itself, by its situation and its whole +picturesque appearance, seemed to me to emulate Naples. Of course, +this last has the advantage of fine atmosphere, and the sunshine of the +south; but the view of Stockholm is just as imposing; it has also some +resemblance to Constantinople, as seen from Pera, only that the minarets +are wanting. There prevails a great variety of coloring in the capital +of Sweden; white painted buildings; frame-work houses, with the +wood-work painted red; barracks of turf, with flowering plants; fir tree +and birches look out from among the houses, and the churches with their +balls and towers. The streets in S÷dermalm ascend by flights of +wooden steps up from the M lar lake, which is all active with smoking +steam-vessels, and with boats rowed by women in gay-colored dresses. + +I had brought with me a letter of introduction from Oersted, to the +celebrated Berzelius, who gave me a good reception in the old city of +Upsala. From this place I returned to Stockholm. City, country, and +people, were all dear to me; it seemed to me, as I said before, that +the boundaries of my native land had stretched themselves out, and I now +first felt the kindredship of the three peoples, and in this feeling I +wrote a Scandinavian song, a hymn of praise for all the three nations, +for that which was peculiar and best in each one of them. + +"One can see that the Swedes made a deal of him," was the first remark +which I heard at home on this song. + +Years pass on; the neighbors understand each other better; Oehlenschl +ger. Fredrika Bremer, and Tegn r, caused them mutually to read each +other's authors, and the foolish remains of the old enmity, which had no +other foundation than that they did not know each other, vanished. +There now prevails a beautiful, cordial relationship between Sweden and +Denmark. A Scandinavian club has been established in Stockholm; and +with this my song came to honor; and it was then said, "it will outlive +everything that Andersen has written:" which was as unjust as when they +said that it was only the product of flattered vanity. This song is now +sung in Sweden as well as in Denmark. + + On my return home I began to study history industriously, and made +myself still further acquainted with the literature of foreign +countries. Yet still the volume which afforded me the greatest pleasure +was that of nature; and in a summer residence among the country-seats of +Funen, and more especially at Lykkesholm, with its highly romantic +site in the midst of woods, and at the noble seat of Glorup, from whose +possessor I met with the most friendly reception, did I acquire more +true wisdom, assuredly, in my solitary rambles, than I ever could have +gained from the schools. + +The house of the Conference Councillor Collin in Copenhagen was at that +time, as it has been since, a second father's house to me, and there I +had parents, and brothers and sisters. The best circles of social life +were open to me, and the student life interested me: here I mixed in +the pleasures of youth. The student life of Copenhagen is, besides this, +different from that of the German cities, and was at this time peculiar +and full of life. For me this was most perceptible in the students' +clubs, where students and professors were accustomed to meet each other: +there was there no boundary drawn between the youthful and elder men of +letters. In this club were to be found the journals and books of various +countries; once a week an author would read his last work; a concert or +some peculiar burlesque entertainment would take place. It was here +that what may be called the first Danish people'scomedies took their +origin,--comedies in which the events of the day were worked up always +in an innocent, but witty and amusing manner. Sometimes dramatic +representations were given in the presence of ladies for the furtherance +of some noble purpose, as lately to assist Thorwaldsen's Museum, to +raise funds for the execution of Bissen's statue in marble, and for +similar ends. The professors and students were the actors. I also +appeared several times as an actor, and convinced myself that my terror +at appearing on the stage was greater than the talent which I perhaps +possessed. Besides this, I wrote and arranged several pieces, and thus +gave my assistance. Several scenes from this time, the scenes in the +students' club, I have worked up in my romance of "O. T." The humor and +love of life observable in various passages of this book, and in +the little dramatic pieces written about this time, are owing to the +influence of the family of Collin, where much good was done me in that +respect, so that my morbid turn of mind was unable to gain the mastery +of me. Collin's eldest married daughter, especially, exercised great +influence over me, by her merry humor and wit. When the mind is yielding +and elastic, like the expanse of ocean, it readily, like the ocean, +mirrors its environments. + +My writings, in my own country, were now classed among those which +were always bought and read; therefore for each fresh work I received a +higher payment. Yet, truly, when you consider what a circumscribed world +the Danish reading world is, you will see that this payment could not be +the most liberal. Yet I had to live. Collin, who is one of the men who +do more than they promise, was my help, my consolation, my support. + +At this time the late Count Conrad von Rantzau-Breitenburg, a native +of Holstein, was Prime Minister in Denmark. He was of a noble, amiable +nature, a highly educated man, and possessed of a truly chivalrous +disposition. He carefully observed the movements in German and Danish +literature. In his youth he had travelled much, and spent a long time +in Spain and Italy, He read my "Improvisatore" in the original; his +imagination was powerfully seized by it, and he spoke both at court and +in his own private circles of my book in the warmest manner. He did not +stop here; he sought me out, and became my benefactor and friend. One +forenoon, whilst I was sitting solitarily in my little chamber, this +friendly man stood before me for the first time. He belonged to that +class of men who immediately inspire you with confidence; he besought me +to visit him, and frankly asked me whether there were no means by which +he could be of use to me. I hinted how oppressive it was to be _forced_ +to write in order to live, always to be forced to think of the morrow, +and not move free from care, to be able to develop your mind and +thoughts. He pressed my hand in a friendly manner, and promised to be an +efficient friend. Collin and Oersted secretly associated themselves with +him, and became my intercessors. + +Already for many years there had existed, under Frederick VI., an +institution which does the highest honor to the Danish government, +namely, that beside the considerable sum expended yearly, for the +travelling expenses of young literary men and artists, a small pension +shall be awarded to such of them as enjoy no office emoluments. All our +most important poets have had a share of this assistance,--Oehlenschl +ger, Ingemann, Heiberg, C. Winther, and others. Hertz had just then +received such a pension, and his future life made thus the more secure. +It was my hope and my wish that the same good fortune might be mine--and +it was. Frederick VI. granted me two hundred rix dollars banco yearly. +I was filled with gratitude and joy. I was nolonger _forced_ to write in +order to live; I had a sure support in the possible event of sickness. +I was less dependent upon the people about me. A new chapter of my life +began. + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +From this day forward, it was as if a more constant sunshine had entered +my heart. I felt within myself more repose, more certainty; it was clear +to me, as I glanced back over my earlier life, that a loving Providence +watched over me, that all was directed for me by a higher Power; and +the firmer becomes such a conviction, the more secure does a man feel +himself. My childhood lay behind me, my youthful life began properly +from this period; hitherto it had been only an arduous swimming against +the stream. The spring of my life commenced; but still the spring had +its dark days, its storms, before it advanced to settled summer; it has +these in order to develop what shall then ripen. That which one of my +dearest friends wrote to me on one of my later travels abroad, may serve +as an introduction to what I have here to relate. He wrote in his own +peculiar style:--"It is your vivid imagination which creates the idea +of your being despised in Denmark; it is utterly untrue. You and Denmark +agree admirably, and you would agree still better, if there were in +Denmark no theatre--_Hinc illae lacrymae!_ This cursed theatre. Is this, +then, Denmark? and are you, then, nothing but a writer for the theatre?" + +Herein lies a solid truth. The theatre has been the cave out of which +most of the evil storms have burst upon me. They are peculiar people, +these people of the theatre,--as different, in fact, from others, as +Bedouins from Germans; from the first pantomimist to the first lover, +everyone places himself systematically in one scale, and puts all the +world in the other. The Danish theatre is a good theatre, it may indeed +be placed on a level with the Burg theatre in Vienna; but the theatre in +Copenhagen plays too great a part in conversation, and possesses in most +circles too much importance. I am not sufficiently acquainted with the +stage and the actors in other great cities, and therefore cannot compare +them with our theatre; but ours has too little military discipline, and +this is absolutely necessary where many people have to form a whole, +even when that whole is an artistical one. The most distinguished +dramatic poets in Denmark--that is to say, in Copenhagen, for there +only is a theatre--have their troubles. Those actors and actresses who, +through talent or the popular favor, take the first rank, very often +place themselves above both the managers and authors. These must pay +court to them, or they may ruin a part, or what is still worse, may +spread abroad an unfavorable opinion of the piece previous to its being +acted; and thus you have a coffee-house criticism before any one ought +properly to know anything of the work. It is moreover characteristic of +the people of Copenhagen, that when a new piece is announced, they do +not say, "I am glad of it," but, "It will probably be good for nothing; +it will be hissed off the stage." That hissing-off plays a great part, +and is an amusement which fills the house; but it is not the bad actor +who is hissed, no, the author and the composer only are the criminals; +for them the scaffold is erected. Five minutes is the usual time, +and the whistles resound, and the lovely women smile and felicitate +themselves, like the Spanish ladies at their bloody bullfights. All our +most eminent dramatic writers have been whistled down,--as Oehlenschl +ger, Heiberg, Oversko, and others; to say nothing of foreign classics, +as Moli re. In the mean time the theatre is the most profitable sphere +of labor for the Danish writer, whose public does not extend far beyond +the frontiers. This had induced me to write the opera-text already +spoken of, on account of which I was so severely criticised; and an +internal impulse drove me afterwards to add some other works. Collin +was no longer manager of the theatre, Councillor of Justice Molbeck had +taken his place; and the tyranny which now commenced degenerated into +the comic. I fancy that in course of time the manuscript volumes of the +censorship, which are preserved in the theatre, and in which Molbeck has +certainly recorded his judgments on received and rejected pieces, will +present some remarkable characteristics. Over all that I wrote the staff +was broken! One way was open to me by which to bring my pieces on the +stage; and that was to give them to those actors who in summer gave +representations at their own cost. In the summer of 1839 I wrote the +vaudeville of "The Invisible One on Sprog÷," to scenery which had been +painted for another piece which fell through; and the unrestrained +merriment of the piece gave it such favor with the public, that I +obtained its acceptance by the manager; and that light sketch still +maintains itself on the boards, and has survived such a number of +representations as I had never anticipated. + +This approbation, however, procured me no further advantage, for each of +my succeeding dramatic works received only rejection, and occasioned +me only mortification. Nevertheless, seized by the idea and the +circumstances of the little French narrative, "_Les paves_," I +determined to dramatise it; and as I had often heard that I did not +possess the assiduity sufficient to work my mat riel well, I resolved to +labor this drama--"The Mulatto"--from the beginning to the end, in the +most diligent manner, and to compose it in alternately rhyming verse, +as was then the fashion. It was a foreign subject of which I availed +myself; but if verses are music, I at least endeavored to adapt my music +to the text, and to let the poetry of another diffuse itself through my +spiritual blood; so that people should not be heard to say, as they had +done before, regarding the romance of Walter Scott, that the composition +was cut down and fitted to the stage. + +The piece was ready, and declared by able men, old friends, and actors +who were to appear in it, to be excellent; a rich dramatic capacity lay +in the mat riel, and my lyrical composition clothed this with so fresh +a green, that people appeared satisfied. The piece was sent in, and was +rejected by Molbeck. It was sufficiently known that what he cherished +for the boards, withered there the first evening; but what he cast away +as weeds were flowers for the garden--a real consolation for me. The +assistant-manager, Privy Counsellor of State, Adler, a man of taste and +liberality, became the patron of my work; and since a very favorable +opinion of it already prevailed with the public, after I had read it to +many persons, it was resolved on for representation. I had the honor to +read it before my present King and Queen, who received me in a very kind +and friendly manner, and from whom, since that time, I have experienced +many proofs of favor and cordiality. The day of representation arrived; +the bills were posted; I had not closed my eyes through the whole night +from excitement and expectation; the people already stood in throngs +before the theatre, to procure tickets, when royal messengers +galloped through the streets, solemn groups collected, the minute guns +pealed,--Frederick VI. had died this morning! + +For two months more was the theatre closed, and was opened under +Christian VIII., with my drama--"The Mulatto;" which was received with +the most triumphant acclamation; but I could not at once feel the joy of +it, I felt only relieved from a state of excitement, and breathed more +freely. + +This piece continued through a series of representations to receive the +same approbation; many placed this work far above all my former ones, +and considered that with it began my proper poetical career. It was +soon translated into the Swedish, and acted with applause at the royal +theatre in Stockholm. Travelling players introduced it into the smaller +towns in the neighboring country; a Danish company gave it in the +original language, in the Swedish city Malm÷, and a troop of students +from the university town of Lund, welcomed it with enthusiasm. I had +been for a week previous on a visit at some Swedish country houses, +where I was entertained with so much cordial kindness that the +recollection of it will never quit my bosom; and there, in a foreign +country, I received the first public testimony of honor, and which has +left upon me the deepest and most inextinguishable impression. I was +invited by some students of Lund to visit their ancient town. Here +a public dinner was given to me; speeches were made, toasts were +pronounced; and as I was in the evening in a family circle, I was +informed that the students meant to honor me with a serenade. + +I felt myself actually overcome by this intelligence; my heart throbbed +feverishly as I descried the thronging troop, with their blue caps, +and arm-in-arm approaching the house. I experienced a feeling of +humiliation; a most lively consciousness of my deficiencies, so that I +seemed bowed to the very earth at the moment others were elevating me. +As they all uncovered their heads while I stepped forth, I had need of +all my thoughts to avoid bursting into tears. In the feeling that I was +unworthy of all this, I glanced round to see whether a smile did not +pass over the face of some one, but I could discern nothing of the kind; +and such a discovery would, at that moment, have inflicted on me the +deepest wound. + +After an hurrah, a speech was delivered, of which I clearly recollect +the following words:--"When your native land, and the natives of Europe +offer you their homage, then may you never forget that the first public +honors were conferred on you by the students of Lund." + +When the heart is warm, the strength of the expression is not weighed. I +felt it deeply, and replied, that from this moment I became aware that +I must assert a name in order to render myself worthy of these tokens +of honor. I pressed the hands of those nearest to me, and returned them +thanks so deep, so heartfelt,--certainly never was an expression of +thanks more sincere. When I returned to my chamber, I went aside, in +order to weep out this excitement, this overwhelming sensation. "Think +no more of it, be joyous with us," said some of my lively Swedish +friends; but a deep earnestness had entered my soul. Often has the +memory of this time come back to me; and no noble-minded man, who reads +these pages will discover a vanity in the fact, that I have lingered so +long over this moment of life, which scorched the roots of pride rather +than nourished them. + +My drama was now to be brought on the stage at Malm÷; the students +wished to see it; but I hastened my departure, that I might not be in +the theatre at the time. With gratitude and joy fly my thoughts towards +the Swedish University city, but I myself have not been there again +since. In the Swedish newspapers the honors paid me were mentioned, and +it was added that the Swedes were not unaware that in my own country +there was a clique which persecuted me; but that this should not hinder +my neighbors from offering me the honors which they deemed my due. + +It was when I had returned to Copenhagen that I first truly felt how +cordially I had been received by the Swedes; amongst some of my old and +tried friends I found the most genuine sympathy. I saw tears in their +eyes, tears of joy for the honors paid me; and especially, said they, +for the manner in which I had received them. There is but one manner for +me; at once, in the midst of joy, I fly with thanks to God. + +There were certain persons who smiled at the enthusiasm; certain voices +raised themselves already against "The Mulatto;"--"the mat riel was +merely borrowed;" the French narrative was scrupulously studied. That +exaggerated praise which I had received, now made me sensitive to the +blame; I could bear it less easily than before, and saw more clearly, +that it did not spring out of an interest in the matter, but was only +uttered in order to mortify me. For the rest, my mind was fresh +and elastic; I conceived precisely at this time the idea of "The +Picture-Book without Pictures," and worked it out. This little book +appears, to judge by the reviews and the number of editions, to have +obtained an extraordinary popularity in Germany; it was also translated +into Swedish, and dedicated to myself; at home, it was here less +esteemed; people talked only of The Mulatto; and finally, only of +the borrowed mat riel of it. I determined, therefore to produce a +new dramatic work, in which both subject and development, in fact, +everything should be of my own conception. I had the idea, and now +wrote the tragedy of The Moorish Maiden, hoping through this to stop the +mouths of all my detractors, and to assert my place as a dramatic poet. +I hoped, too, through the income from this, together with the proceeds +of The Mulatto, to be able to make a fresh journey, not only to Italy, +but to Greece and Turkey. My first going abroad had more than all +besides operated towards my intellectual development; I was therefore +full of the passion for travel, and of the endeavor to acquire more +knowledge of nature and of human life. + +My new piece did not please Heiberg, nor indeed my dramatic endeavors at +all; his wife--for whom the chief part appeared to me especially to be +written--refused, and that not in the most friendly manner, to play +it. Deeply wounded, I went forth. I lamented this to some individuals. +Whether this was repeated, or whether a complaint against the favorite +of the public is a crime, enough: from this hour Heiberg became my +opponent,--he whose intellectual rank I so highly estimated,--he with +whom I would so willingly have allied myself,--and he who so often--I +will venture to say it--I had approached with the whole sincerity of my +nature. I have constantly declared his wife to be so distinguished an +actress, and continue still so entirely of this opinion, that I would +not hesitate one moment to assert that she would have a European +reputation, were the Danish language as widely diffused as the German +or the French. In tragedy she is, by the spirit and the geniality with +which she comprehends and fills any part, a most interesting object; and +in comedy she stands unrivalled. + +The wrong may be on my side or not,--no matter: a party was opposed to +me. I felt myself wounded, excited by many coincident annoyances there. +I felt uncomfortable in my native country, yes, almost ill. I therefore +left my piece to its fate, and, suffering and disconcerted, I hastened +forth. In this mood I wrote a prologue to The Moorish Maiden; which +betrayed my irritated mind far too palpably. If I would represent this +portion of my life more clearly and reflectively it would require me to +penetrate into the mysteries of the theatre, to analyze our aesthetic +cliques, and to drag into conspicuous notice many individuals, who do +not belong to publicity. Many persons in my place would, like me, have +fallen ill, or would have resented it vehemently: perhaps the latter +would have been the most sensible. + +At my departure, many of my young friends amongst the students prepared +a banquet for me; and amongst the elder ones who were present to +receive me were Collin, Oehlenschl ger and Oersted. This was somewhat of +sunshine in the midst of my mortification; songs by Oehlenschl ger and +Hillerup were sung; and I found cordiality and friendship, as I quitted +my country in distress. This was in October of 1840. + +For the second time I went to Italy and Rome, to Greece and +Constantinople--a journey which I have described after my own manner in +A Poet's Bazaar. + +In Holstein I continued some days with Count Rantzau-Breitenburg, who +had before invited me, and whose ancestral castle I now for the +first time visited. Here I became acquainted with the rich scenery of +Holstein, heath and moorland, and then hastened by Nuremberg to Munich, +where I again met with Cornelius and Schelling, and was kindly received +by Kaulbach and Schelling. I cast a passing glance on the artistic +life in Munich, but for the most part pursued my own solitary course, +sometimes filled with the joy of life, but oftener despairing of my +powers. I possessed a peculiar talent, that of lingering on the gloomy +side of life, of extracting the bitter from it, of tasting it; and +understood well, when the whole was exhausted, how to torment myself. + +In the winter season I crossed the Brenner, remained some days in +Florence, which I had before visited for a longer time, and about +Christmas reached Rome. Here again I saw the noble treasures of art, met +old friends, and once more passed a Carnival and Moccoli. But not alone +was I bodily ill; nature around me appeared likewise to sicken; there +was neither the tranquillity nor the freshness which attended my +first sojourn in Rome. The rocks quaked, the Tiber twice rose into the +streets, fever raged, and snatched numbers away. In a few days Prince +Borghese lost his wife and three sons. Rain and wind prevailed; in +short, it was dismal, and from home cold lotions only were sent me. My +letters told me that The Moorish Maiden had several times been +acted through, and had gone quietly off the stage; but, as was seen +beforehand, a small public only had been present, and therefore the +manager had laid the piece aside. Other Copenhagen letters to our +countrymen in Rome spoke with enthusiasm of a new work by Heiberg; a +satirical poem--A Soul after Death. It was but just out, they wrote; all +Copenhagen was full of it, and Andersen was famously handled in it. The +book was admirable, and I was made ridiculous in it. That was the whole +which I heard,--all that I knew. No one told me what really was said of +me; wherein lay the amusement and the ludicrous. It is doubly painful +to be ridiculed when we don't know wherefore we are so. The information +operated like molten lead dropped into a wound, and agonized me cruelly. +It was not till after my return to Denmark that I read this book, and +found that what was said of me in it, was really nothing in itself which +was worth laying to heart. It was a jest over my celebrity "from Schonen +to Hundsr ck", which did not please Heiberg; he therefore sent my +Mulatto and The Moorish Maiden to the infernal regions, where--and that +was the most witty conceit--the condemned were doomed to witness the +performance of both pieces in one evening; and then they could go away +and lay themselves down quietly. I found the poetry, for the rest, so +excellent, that I was half induced to write to Heiberg, and to return +him my thanks for it; but I slept upon this fancy, and when I awoke and +was more composed, I feared lest such thanks should be misunderstood; +and so I gave it up. + +In Rome, as I have said, I did not see the book; I only heard the arrows +whizz and felt their wound, but I did not know what the poison was which +lay concealed in them. It seemed to me that Rome was no joy-bringing +city; when I was there before, I had also passed dark and bitter days. I +was ill, for the first time in my life, truly and bodily ill, and I made +haste to get away. + +The Danish poet Holst was then in Rome; he had received this year a +travelling pension. Hoist had written an elegy on King Frederick VI., +which went from mouth to mouth, and awoke an enthusiasm, like that of +Becker's contemporaneous Rhine song in Germany. He lived in the same +house with me in Rome, and showed me much sympathy: with him I made the +journey to Naples, where, notwithstanding it was March, the sun would +not properly shine, and the snow lay on the hills around. There was +fever in my blood; I suffered in body and in mind; and I soon lay +so severely affected by it, that certainly nothing but a speedy +blood-letting, to which my excellent Neapolitan landlord compelled me, +saved my life. + +In a few days I grew sensibly better; and I now proceeded by a French +war steamer to Greece. Holst accompanied me on board. It was now as if +a new life had risen for me; and in truth this was the case; and if this +does not appear legibly in my later writings, yet it manifested itself +in my views of life, and in my whole inner development. As I saw my +European home lie far behind me, it seemed to me as if a stream of +forgetfulness flowed of all bitter and rankling remembrances: I felt +health in my blood, health in my thoughts, and freshly and courageously +I again raised my head. + +Like another Switzerland, with a loftier and clearer heaven than the +Italian, Greece lay before me; nature made a deep and solemn impression +upon me; I felt the sentiment of standing on the great battle field of +the world, where nation had striven with nation, and had perished. +No single poem can embrace such greatness; every scorched-up bed of a +stream, every height, every stone, has mighty memoirs to relate. How +little appear the inequalities of daily life in such a place! A kingdom +of ideas streamed through me, and with such a fulness, that none of them +fixed themselves on paper. I had a desire to express the idea, that the +godlike was here on earth to maintain its contest, that it is thrust +backward, and yet advances again victoriously through all ages; and I +found in the legend of the Wandering Jew an occasion for it. For twelve +months this fiction had been emerging from the sea of my thoughts; often +did it wholly fill me; sometimes I fancied with the alchemists that I +had dug up the treasure; then again it sank suddenly, and I despaired +of ever being able to bring it to the light. I felt what a mass of +knowledge of various kinds I must first acquire. Often at home, when I +was compelled to hear reproofs on what they call a want of study, I had +sat deep into the night, and had studied history in Hegel's Philosophy +of History. I said nothing of this, or other studies, or they would +immediately have been spoken of, in the manner of an instructive lady, +who said, that people justly complained that I did not possess learning +enough. "You have really no mythology" said she; "in all your poems +there appears no single God. You must pursue mythology; you must read +Racine and Corneille." That she called learning; and in like manner +every one had something peculiar to recommend. For my poem of Ahasuerus +I had read much and noted much, but yet not enough; in Greece, I +thought, the whole will collect itself into clearness. The poem is not +yet ready, but I hope that it will become so to my honor; for it happens +with the children of the spirit, as with the earthly ones,--they grow as +they sleep. + +In Athens I was heartily welcomed by Professor Ross, a native of +Holstein, and by my countrymen. I found hospitality and a friendly +feeling in the noble Prokesch-Osten; even the king and queen received me +most graciously. I celebrated my birthday in the Acropolis. + +From Athens I sailed to Smyrna, and with me it was no childish pleasure +to be able to tread another quarter of the globe. I felt a devotion in +it, like that which I felt as a child when I entered the old church at +Odense. I thought on Christ, who bled on this earth; I thought on Homer, +whose song eternally resounds hence over the earth. The shores of Asia +preached to me their sermons, and were perhaps more impressive than any +sermon in any church can be. + +In Constantinople I passed eleven interesting days; and according to +my good fortune in travel, the birthday of Mahomet itself fell exactly +during my stay there. I saw the grand illumination, which completely +transported me into the Thousand and One Nights. + +Our Danish ambassador lived several miles from Constantinople, and I had +therefore no opportunity of seeing him; but I found a cordial reception +with the Austrian internuntius, Baron von St rmer. With him I had a +German home and friends. I contemplated making my return by the Black +Sea and up the Danube; but the country was disturbed; it was said there +had been several thousand Christians murdered. My companions of the +voyage, in the hotel where I resided, gave up this route of the Danube, +for which I had the greatest desire, and collectively counselled me +against it. But in this case I must return again by Greece and Italy--it +was a severe conflict. + +I do not belong to the courageous; I feel fear, especially in little +dangers; but in great ones, and when an advantage is to be won, then I +have a will, and it has grown firmer with years. I may tremble, I may +fear; but I still do that which I consider the most proper to be done. +I am not ashamed to confess my weakness; I hold that when out of our +own true conviction we run counter to our inborn fear, we have done our +duty. I had a strong desire to become acquainted with the interior of +the country, and to traverse the Danube in its greatest expansion. I +battled with myself; my imagination pointed to me the most horrible +circumstances; it was an anxious night. In the morning I took counsel +with Baron St rmer; and as he was of opinion that I might undertake +the voyage, I determined upon it. From the moment that I had taken my +determination, I had the most immovable reliance on Providence, and +flung myself calmly on my fate. Nothing happened to me. The voyage was +prosperous, and after the quarantine on the Wallachian frontier, which +was painful enough to me, I arrived at Vienna on the twenty-first day +of the journey. The sight of its towers, and the meeting with numerous +Danes, awoke in me the thought of being speedily again at home. The idea +bowed down my heart, and sad recollections and mortifications rose up +within me once more. + +In August, 1841, I was again in Copenhagen. There I wrote my +recollections of travel, under the title of A Poet's Bazaar, in several +chapters, according to the countries. In various places abroad I had met +with individuals, as at home, to whom I felt myself attached. A poet is +like the bird; he gives what he has, and he gives a song. I was desirous +to give every one of those dear ones such a song. It was a fugitive +idea, born, may I venture to say, in a grateful mood. Count +Rantzau-Breitenburg, who had resided in Italy, who loved the land, and +was become a friend and benefactor to me through my Improvisatore, must +love that part of the book which treated of his country. To Liszt and +Thalberg, who had both shown me the greatest friendship, I dedicated +the portion which contained the voyage up the Danube, because one was a +Hungarian and the other an Austrian. With these indications, the reader +will easily be able to trace out the thought which influenced me in the +choice of each dedication. But these appropriations were, in my native +country, regarded as a fresh proof of my vanity;--"I wished to figure +with great names, to name distinguished people as my friends." + +The book has been translated into several languages, and the dedications +with it. I know not how they have been regarded abroad; if I have been +judged there as in Denmark, I hope that this explanation will change +the opinion concerning them. In Denmark my Bazaar procured me the most +handsome remuneration that I have as yet received,--a proof that I +was at length read there. No regular criticism appeared upon it, if +we except notices in some daily papers, and afterwards in the poetical +attempt of a young writer who, a year before, had testified to me in +writing his love, and his wish to do me honor; but who now, in his first +public appearance, launched his satirical poem against his friend. I +was personally attached to this young man, and am so still. He assuredly +thought more on the popularity he would gain by sailing in the wake +of Heiberg, than on the pain he would inflict on me. The newspaper +criticism in Copenhagen was infinitely stupid. It was set down as +exaggerated, that I could have seen the whole round blue globe of the +moon in Smyrna at the time of the new moon. That was called fancy and +extravagance, which there every one sees who can open his eyes. The new +moon has a dark blue and perfectly round disk. + +The Danish critics have generally no open eye for nature: even the +highest and most cultivated monthly periodical of literature in Denmark +censured me once because, in a poem I had described a rainbow by +moonlight. That too was my fancy, which, said they, carried me too far. +When I said in the Bazaar, "if I were a painter, I would paint this +bridge; but, as I am no painter, but a poet, I must therefore speak," +&c. Upon this the critic says, "He is so vain, that he tells us himself +that he is a poet." There is something so pitiful in such criticism, +that one cannot be wounded by it; but even when we are the most +peaceable of men, we feel a desire to flagellate such wet dogs, who come +into our rooms and lay themselves down in the best place in them. +There might be a whole Fool's Chronicle written of all the absurd and +shameless things which, from my first appearance before the public till +this moment, I have been compelled to hear. + +In the meantime the Bazaar was much read, and made what is called a +hit. I received, connected with this book, much encouragement and many +recognitions from individuals of the highest distinction in the realms +of intellect in my native land. + +The journey had strengthened me both in mind and body; I began to show +indications of a firmer purpose, a more certain judgment. I was now in +harmony with myself and with mankind around me. + +Political life in Denmark had, at that time, arrived at a higher +development, producing both good and evil fruits. The eloquence which +had formerly accustomed itself to the Demosthenic mode, that of putting +little pebbles in the mouth, the little pebbles of every day life, now +exercised itself more freely on subjects of greater interest. I felt no +call thereto, and no necessity to mix myself up in such matters; for I +then believed that the politics of our times were a great misfortune to +many a poet. Madame, politics are like Venus; they whom she decoys into +her castle perish. It fares with the writings of these poets as with the +newspapers: they are seized upon, read, praised, and forgotten. In our +days every one wishes to rule; the subjective makes its power of value; +people forget that that which is thought of cannot always be carried +out, and that many things look very different when contemplated from the +top of the tree, to what they did when seen from its roots. I will bow +myself before him who is influenced by a noble conviction, and who only +desires that which is conducive to good, be he prince or man of the +people. Politics are no affair of mine. God has imparted to me another +mission: that I felt, and that I feel still. I met in the so-called +first families of the country a number of friendly, kind-hearted men, +who valued the good that was in me, received me into their circles, and +permitted me to participate in the happiness of their opulent summer +residences; so that, still feeling independent, I could thoroughly give +myself up to the pleasures of nature, the solitude of woods, and country +life. There for the first time I lived wholly among the scenery of +Denmark, and there I wrote the greater number of my fairy tales. On +the banks of quiet lakes, amid the woods, on the green grassy pastures, +where the game sprang past me and the stork paced along on his red +legs, I heard nothing of politics, nothing of polemics; I heard no one +practising himself in Hagel's phraseology. Nature, which was around me +and within me, preached to me of my calling. I spent many happy days at +the old house of Gisselfeld, formerly a monastery, which stands in the +deepest solitude of the woods, surrounded with lakes and hills. The +possessor of this fine place, the old Countess Danneskjold, mother of +the Duchess of Augustenburg, was an agreeable and excellent lady, I was +there not as a poor child of the people, but as a cordially-received +guest. The beeches now overshadow her grave in the midst of that +pleasant scenery to which her heart was allied. + +Close by Gisselfeld, but in a still finer situation, and of much greater +extent, lies the estate of Bregentoed, which belongs to Count Moltke, +Danish Minister of Finance. The hospitality which I met with in this +place, one of the richest and most beautiful of our country, and the +happy, social life which surrounded me here, have diffused a sunshine +over my life. + +It may appear, perhaps, as if I desired to bring the names of great +people prominently forward, and make a parade of them; or as if I wished +in this way to offer a kind of thanks to my benefactors. They need it +not, and I should be obliged to mention many other names still if this +were my intention. I speak, however, only of these two places, and of +Nys÷, which belongs to Baron Stampe, and which has become celebrated +through Thorwaldsen. Here I lived much with the great sculptor, and here +I became acquainted with one of my dearest young friends, the future +possessor of the place. + +Knowledge of life in these various circles has had great influence on +me: among princes, among the nobility, and among the poorest of the +people, I have met with specimens of noble humanity. We all of us +resemble each other in that which is good and best. + +Winter life in Denmark has likewise its attractions and its rich +variety. I spent also some time in the country during this season, and +made myself acquainted with its peculiar characteristics. The greatest +part of my time, however, I passed in Copenhagen. I felt myself at home +with the married sons and daughters of Collin, where a number of amiable +children were growing up. Every year strengthened the bond of friendship +between myself and the nobly-gifted composer, Hartmann: art and the +freshness of nature prospered in his house. Collin was my counsellor in +practical life, and Oersted in my literary affairs. The theatre was, if +I may so say, my club. I visited it every evening, and in this very year +I had received a place in the so-called court stalls. An author must, +as a matter of course, work himself up to it. After the first accepted +piece he obtains admission to the pit; after the second greater work, +in the stalls, where the actors have their seats; and after three larger +works, or a succession of lesser pieces, the poet is advanced to the +best places. Here were to be found Thorwaldsen, Oehlenschl ger, and +several older poets; and here also, in 1840,1 obtained a place, after I +had given in seven pieces. Whilst Thorwaldsen lived, I often, by his own +wish, sate at his side. Oehlenschl ger was also my neighbor, and in many +an evening hour, when no one dreamed of it, my soul was steeped in deep +humility, as I sate between these great spirits. The different periods +of my life passed before me; the time when I sate on the hindmost bench +in the box of the female figurantes, as well as that in which, full of +childish superstition, I knelt down there upon the stage and repeated +the Lord's Prayer, just before the very place where I now sate among +the first and the most distinguished men. At the time, perhaps, when a +countryman of mine thus thought of and passed judgment upon me,--"there +he sits, between the two great spirits, full of arrogance and pride;" he +may now perceive by this acknowledgment how unjustly he has judged me. +Humility, and prayer to God for strength to deserve my happiness, filled +my heart. May He always enable me to preserve these feelings? I enjoyed +the friendship of Thorwaldsen as well as of Oehlenschl ger, those two +most distinguished stars in the horizon of the North. I may here bring +forward their reflected glory in and around me. + +There is in the character of Oehlenschl ger, when he is not seen in the +circles of the great, where he is quiet and reserved, something so open +and child-like, that no one can help becoming attached to him. As a +poet, he holds in the North a position of as great importance as Goethe +did in Germany. He is in his best works so penetrated by the spirit +of the North, that through him it has, as it were, ascended upon all +nations. In foreign countries he is not so much appreciated. The works +by which he is best known are "Correggio" and "Aladdin;" but assuredly +his masterly poem of "The Northern Gods" occupied a far higher rank: it +is our "Iliad." It possesses power, freshness--nay, any expression of +mine is poor. It is possessed of grandeur; it is the poet Oehlenschl ger +in the bloom of his soul. Hakon, Jarl, and Palnatoke will live in the +poetry of Oehlenschl ger as long as mankind endures. Denmark, Norway, +and Sweden have fully appreciated him, and have shown him that they do +so, and whenever it is asked who occupies the first place in the kingdom +of mind, the palm is always awarded to him. He is the true-born poet; +he appears always young, whilst he himself, the oldest of all, surpasses +all in the productiveness of his mind. He listened with friendly +disposition to my first lyrical outpourings; and he acknowledged +with earnestness and cordiality the poet who told the fairy-tales. My +Biographer in the Danish Pantheon brought me in contact with Oehlenschl +ger, when he said, "In our days it is becoming more and more rare for +any one, by implicitly following those inborn impulses of his soul, +which make themselves irresistibly felt, to step forward as an artist or +a poet. He is more frequently fashioned by fate and circumstances than +apparently destined by nature herself for this office. With the greater +number of our poets an early acquaintance with passion, early inward +experience, or outward circumstances, stand instead of the original vein +of nature, and this cannot in any case be more incontestably proved in +our own literature than by instancing Oehlenschl ger and Andersen. And +in this way it may be explained why the former has been so frequently +the object for the attacks of the critics, and why the latter was first +properly appreciated as a poet in foreign countries where civilization +of a longer date has already produced a disinclination for the +compulsory rule of schools, and has occasioned a reaction towards that +which is fresh and natural; whilst we Danes, on the contrary, cherish +a pious respect for the yoke of the schools and the worn-out wisdom of +maxims." + +Thorwaldsen, whom, as I have already said, I had become acquainted +with in Rome in the years 1833 and 1834, was expected in Denmark in the +autumn of 1838, and great festive preparations were made in consequence. +A flag was to wave upon one of the towers of Copenhagen as soon as +the vessel which brought him should come in sight. It was a national +festival. Boats decorated with flowers and flags filled the Rhede; +painters, sculptors, all had their flags with emblems; the students' +bore a Minerva, the poets' a Pegasus. It was misty weather, and the ship +was first seen when it was already close by the city, and all poured out +to meet him. The poets, who, I believe, according to the arrangement +of Heiberg, had been invited, stood by their boat; Oehlenschl ger and +Heiberg alone had not arrived. And now guns were fired from the ship, +which came to anchor, and it was to be feared that Thorwaldsen might +land before we had gone out to meet him. The wind bore the voice of +singing over to us: the festive reception had already begun. + +I wished to see him, and therefore cried out to the others, "Let us put +off!" + +"Without Oehlenschl ger and Heiberg?" asked some one. + +"But they are not arrived, and it will be all over." + +One of the poets declared that if these two men were not with us, I +should not sail under that flag, and pointed up to Pegasus. + +"We will throw it in the boat," said I, and took it down from the staff; +the others now followed me, and came up just as Thorwaldsen reached +land. We met with Oehlenschl ger and Heiberg in another boat, and they +came over to us as the enthusiasm began on shore. + +The people drew Thorwaldsen's carriage through the streets to his house, +where everybody who had the slightest acquaintance with him, or with +the friends of a friend of his, thronged around him. In the evening the +artists gave him a serenade, and the blaze of the torches illumined +the garden under the large trees, there was an exultation and joy which +really and truly was felt. Young and old hastened through the open +doors, and the joyful old man clasped those whom he knew to his breast, +gave them his kiss, and pressed their hands. There was a glory round +Thorwaldsen which kept me timidly back: my heart beat for joy of seeing +him who had met me when abroad with kindness and consolation, who +had pressed me to his heart, and had said that we must always remain +friends. But here in this jubilant crowd, where thousands noticed +every movement of his, where I too by all these should be observed and +criticised--yes, criticised as a vain man who now only wished to show +that he too was acquainted with Thorwaldsen, and that this great man was +kind and friendly towards him--here, in this dense crowd, I drew myself +back, and avoided being recognized by him. Some days afterwards, and +early in the morning, I went to call upon him, and found him as a friend +who had wondered at not having seen me earlier. + +In honor of Thorwaldsen a musical-poetic academy was established, and +the poets, who were invited to do so by Heiberg, wrote and read each +one a poem in praise of him who had returned home. I wrote of Jason who +fetched the golden fleece--that is to say, Jason-Thorwaldsen, who went +forth to win golden art. A great dinner and a ball closed the festival, +in which, for the first time in Denmark, popular life and a subject of +great interest in the realms of art were made public. + +From this evening I saw Thorwaldsen almost daily in company or in his +studio: I often passed several weeks together with him at Nys÷, where +he seemed to have firmly taken root, and where the greater number of his +works, executed in Denmark, had their origin. He was of a healthful and +simple disposition of mind, not without humor, and, therefore, he was +extremely attached to Holberg the poet: he did not at all enter into the +troubles and the disruptions of the world. + +One morning at Nys÷--at the time when he was working at his own +statue--I entered his work-room and bade him good morning; he appeared +as if he did not wish to notice me, and I stole softly away again. +At breakfast he was very parsimonious in the use of words, and when +somebody asked him to say something at all events, he replied in his dry +way:-- + +"I have said more during this morning than in many whole days, but +nobody heard me. There I stood, and fancied that Andersen was behind +me, for he came, and said good morning--so I told him a long story about +myself and Byron. I thought that he might give one word in reply, and +turned myself round; and there had I been standing a whole hour and +chattering aloud to the bare walls." + +We all of us besought him to let us hear the whole story yet once more; +but we had it now very short. + +"Oh, that was in Rome," said he, "when I was about to make Byron's +statue; he placed himself just opposite to me, and began immediately to +assume quite another countenance to what was customary to him. 'Will not +you sit still?' said I; 'but you must not make these faces.' 'It is +my expression,' said Byron. 'Indeed?' said I, and then I made him as +I wished, and everybody said, when it was finished, that I had hit the +likeness. When Byron, however, saw it, he said, 'It does not resemble me +at all; I look more unhappy.'" + +"He was, above all things, so desirous of looking extremely unhappy," +added Thorwaldsen, with a comic expression. + +It afforded the great sculptor pleasure to listen to music after dinner +with half-shut eyes, and it was his greatest delight when in the evening +the game of lotto began, which the whole neighborhood of Nys÷ was +obliged to learn; they only played for glass pieces, and on this account +I am able to relate a peculiar characteristic of this otherwise great +man--that he played with the greatest interest on purpose to win. He +would espouse with warmth and vehemence the part of those from whom +he believed that he had received an injustice; he opposed himself to +unfairness and raillery, even against the lady of the house, who for the +rest had the most childlike sentiments towards him, and who had no +other thought than how to make everything most agreeable to him. In his +company I wrote several of my tales for children--for example, "Ole Luck +Oin," ("Ole Shut Eye,") to which he listened with pleasure and interest. +Often in the twilight, when the family circle sate in the open garden +parlor, Thorwaldsen would come softly behind me, and, clapping me on the +shoulder, would ask, "Shall we little ones hear any tales tonight?" + +In his own peculiarly natural manner he bestowed the most bountiful +praise on my fictions, for their truth; it delighted him to hear the +same stories over and over again. Often, during his most glorious works, +would he stand with laughing countenance, and listen to the stories of +the Top and the Ball, and the Ugly Duckling. I possess a certain talent +of improvising in my native tongue little poems and songs. This talent +amused Thorwaldsen very much; and as he had modelled, at Nys÷, Holberg's +portrait in clay, I was commissioned to make a poem for his work, and he +received, therefore, the following impromptu:-- + + "No more shall Holberg live," by Death was said, + "I crush the clay, his soul's bonds heretofore." + "And from the formless clay, the cold, the dead," + Cried Thorwaldsen, "shall Holberg live once more." + +One morning, when he had just modelled in clay his great bas-relief of +the Procession to Golgotha, I entered his study. + +"Tell me," said he, "does it seem to you that I have dressed Pilate +properly?" + +"You must not say anything to him," said the Baroness, who was always +with him: "it is right; it is excellent; go away with you!" + +Thorwaldsen repeated his question. + +"Well, then," said I, "as you ask me, I must confess that it really does +appear to me as if Pilate were dressed rather as an Egyptian than as a +Roman." + +"It seems to me so too," said Thorwaldsen, seizing the clay with his +hand, and destroying the figure. + +"Now you are guilty of his having annihilated an immortal work," +exclaimed the Baroness to me with warmth. + +"Then we can make a new immortal work," said he, in a cheerful humor, +and modelled Pilate as he now remains in the bas-relief in the Ladies' +Church in Copenhagen. + +His last birth-day was celebrated there in the country. I had written a +merry little song, and it was hardly dry on the paper, when we sang +it, in the early morning, before his door, accompanied by the music +of jingling fire-irons, gongs, and bottles rubbed against a basket. +Thorwaldsen himself, in his morning gown and slippers, opened his door, +and danced round his chamber; swung round his Raphael's cap, and joined +in the chorus. There was life and mirth in the strong old man. + +On the last day of his life I sate by him at dinner; he was unusually +good-humored; repeated several witticisms which he had just read in the +Corsair, a well-known Copenhagen newspaper, and spoke of the journey +which he should undertake to Italy in the summer. After this we parted; +he went to the theatre, and I home. + +On the following morning the waiter at the hotel where I lived said, +"that it was a very remarkable thing about Thorwaldsen--that he had died +yesterday." + +"Thorwaldsen!" exclaimed I; "he is not dead, I dined with him +yesterday." + +"People say that he died last evening at the theatre," returned the +waiter. I fancied that he might be taken ill; but still I felt a strange +anxiety, and hastened immediately over to his house. There lay his +corpse stretched out on the bed; the chamber was filled with strangers; +the floor wet with melted snow; the air stifling; no one said a word: +the Baroness Stampe sate on the bed and wept bitterly. I stood trembling +and deeply agitated. + +A farewell hymn, which I wrote, and to which Hartmann composed the +music, was sung by Danish students over his coffin. + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +In the summer of 1842, I wrote a little piece for the summer theatre, +called, "The Bird in the Pear-tree," in which several scenes were acted +up in the pear-tree. I had called it a dramatic trifle, in order that +no one might expect either a great work or one of a very elaborate +character. It was a little sketch, which, after being performed a few +times, was received with so much applause, that the directors of the +theatre accepted it; nay, even Mrs. Heiberg, the favorite of the public, +desired to take a part in it. People had amused themselves; had thought +the selection of the music excellent. I knew that the piece had stood +its rehearsal--and then suddenly it was hissed. Some young men, who gave +the word to hiss, had said to some others, who inquired from them +their reasons for doing so, that the trifle had too much luck, and then +Andersen would be getting too mettlesome. + +I was not, on this evening, at the theatre myself, and had not the least +idea of what was going on. On the following I went to the house of one +of my friends. I had head-ache, and was looking very grave. The lady of +the house met me with a sympathizing manner, took my hand, and said, "Is +it really worth while to take it so much to heart? There were only two +who hissed, the whole house beside took your part." + +"Hissed! My part! Have I been hissed?" exclaimed I. + +It was quite comic; one person assured me that this hissing had been a +triumph for me; everybody had joined in acclamation, and "there was only +one who hissed." + +After this, another person came, and I asked him of the number of those +who hissed. "Two," said he. The next person said "three," and said +positively there were no more. One of my most veracious friends now made +his appearance, and I asked him upon his conscience, how many he had +heard; he laid his hand upon his heart, and said that, at the very +highest, they were five. + +"No," said I, "now I will ask nobody more; the number grows just as with +Falstaff; here stands one who asserts that there was only one person who +hissed." + +Shocked, and yet inclined to set it all right again, he replied, "Yes, +that is possible, but then it was a strong, powerful hiss." + +By my last works, and through a rational economy, I had now saved a +small sum of money, which I destined to the purposes of a new journey +to Paris, where I arrived in the winter of 1843, by way of D sseldorf, +through Belgium. + +Marmier had already, in the _R vue de Paris_, written an article on me, +_La Vie d'un Po te_. He had also translated several of my poems into +French, and had actually honored me with a poem which is printed in the +above-named _R vue_. My name had thus reached, like a sound, the ears of +some persons in the literary world, and I here met with a surprisingly +friendly reception. + +At Victor Hugo's invitation, I saw his abused _Burggraves_. Mr. and Mrs. +Ancelot opened their house to me, and there I met Martinez della Rosa +and other remarkable men of these times. Lamart ne seemed to me, in his +domestic, and in his whole personal appearance, as the prince of them +all. On my apologizing because I spoke such bad French, he replied, that +he was to blame, because he did not understand the northern languages, +in which, as he had discovered in late years, there existed a fresh and +vigorous literature, and where the poetical ground was so peculiar that +you had only to stoop down to find an old golden horn. He asked about +the Trollh tta canal, and avowed a wish to visit Denmark and Stockholm. +He recollected also our now reigning king, to whom, when as prince +he was in Castellamare, he had paid his respects; besides this, he +exhibited for a Frenchman, an extraordinary acquaintance with names and +places in Denmark. On my departure he wrote a little poem for me, which +I preserve amongst my dearest relics. + +I generally found the jovial Alexander Dumas in bed, even long after +mid-day: here he lay, with paper, pen, and ink, and wrote his newest +drama. I found him thus one day; he nodded kindly to me, and said, "Sit +down a minute; I have just now a visit from my muse; she will be going +directly." He wrote on; spoke aloud; shouted a _viva!_ sprang out of +bed, and said, "The third act is finished!" + +One evening he conducted me round into the various theatres, that I +might see the life behind the scenes. We wandered about, arm in arm, +along the gay Boulevard. + +I also have to thank him for my acquaintance with Rachel. I had not seen +her act, when Alexander Dumas asked me whether I had the desire to make +her acquaintance. One evening, when she was to come out as Phedra he led +me to the stage of the Th atre Fran ais. The Representation had begun, +and behind the scenes, where a folding screen had formed a sort of room, +in which stood a table with refreshments, and a few ottomans, sate the +young girl who, as an author has said, understands how to chisel living +statues out of Racine's and Corneille's blocks of marble. She was thin +and slenderly formed, and looked very young. She looked to me there, +and more particularly so afterwards in her own house, as an image of +mourning; as a young girl who has just wept out her sorrow, and will +now let her thoughts repose in quiet. She accosted us kindly in a deep +powerful voice. In the course of conversation with Dumas, she forgot +me. I stood there quite superfluous. Dumas observed it, said something +handsome of me, and on that I ventured to take part in the discourse, +although I had a depressing feeling that I stood before those who +perhaps spoke the most beautiful French in all France. I said that I +truly had seen much that was glorious and interesting, but that I +had never yet seen a Rachel, and that on her account especially had I +devoted the profits of my last work to a journey to Paris; and as, in +conclusion, I added an apology on account of my French, she smiled and +said, "When you say anything so polite as that which you have just said +to me, to a Frenchwoman, she will always think that you speak well." + +When I told her that her fame had resounded to the North, she declared +that it was her intention to go to Petersburg and Copenhagen: "and when +I come to your city", she said, "you must be my defender, as you are the +only one there whom I know; and in order that we may become acquainted, +and as you, as you say, are come to Paris especially on my account, +we must see each other frequently. You will be welcome to me. I see +my friends at my house every Thursday. But duty calls," said she, and +offering us her hand, she nodded kindly, and then stood a few paces from +us on the stage, taller, quite different, and with the expression of the +tragic muse herself. Joyous acclamations ascended to where we sat. + +As a Northlander I cannot accustom myself to the French mode of acting +tragedy. Rachel plays in this same style, but in her it appears to be +nature itself; it is as if all the others strove to imitate her. She is +herself the French tragic muse, the others are only poor human beings. +When Rachel plays people fancy that all tragedy must be acted in this +manner. It is in her truth and nature, but under another revelation to +that with which we are acquainted in the north. + +At her house everything is rich and magnificent, perhaps too _recherch +_. The innermost room was blue-green, with shaded lamps and statuettes +of French authors. In the salon, properly speaking, the color which +prevailed principally in the carpets, curtains, and bookcases +was crimson. She herself was dressed in black, probably as she is +represented in the well-known English steel engraving of her. Her +guests consisted of gentlemen, for the greater part artists and men +of learning. I also heard a few titles amongst them. Richly apparelled +servants announced the names of the arrivals; tea was drunk and +refreshments handed round, more in the German than the French style. + +Victor Hugo had told me that he found she understood the German +language. I asked her, and she replied in German, "ich kann es lesen; +ich bin ja in Lothringen geboren; ich habe deutsche B cher, sehn Sie +hier!" and she showed me Grillparzer's "Sappho," and then immediately +continued the conversation in French. She expressed her pleasure in +acting the part of Sappho, and then spoke of Schiller's "Maria Stuart," +which character she has personated in a French version of that play. I +saw her in this part, and she gave the last act especially with such a +composure and tragic feeling, that she might have been one of the best +of German actresses; but it was precisely in this very act that the +French liked her least. + +"My countrymen," said she, "are not accustomed to this manner, and in +this manner alone can the part be given. No one should be raving when +the heart is almost broken with sorrow, and when he is about to take an +everlasting farewell of his friends." + +Her drawing-room was, for the most part, decorated with books which were +splendidly bound and arranged in handsome book-cases behind glass. A +painting hung on the wall, which represented the interior of the +theatre in London, where she stood forward on the stage, and flowers +and garlands were thrown to her across the orchestra. Below this picture +hung a pretty little book-shelf, holding what I call "the high nobility +among the poets,"--Goethe, Schiller, Calderon, Shakspeare, &c. + +She asked me many questions respecting Germany and Denmark, art, and the +theatre; and she encouraged me with a kind smile around her grave mouth, +when I stumbled in French and stopped for a moment to collect myself, +that I might not stick quite fast. + +"Only speak," said she. "It is true that you do not speak French well. +I have heard many foreigners speak my native language better; but their +conversation has not been nearly as interesting as yours. I understand +the sense of your words perfectly, and that is the principal thing which +interests me in you." + +The last time we parted she wrote the following words in my album: +"L'art c'est le vrai! J'esp re que cet aphorisme ne semblera pas +paradoxal un crivain si distingu comme M. Andersen." + +I perceived amiability of character in Alfred de Vigny. He has married +an English lady, and that which is best in both nations seemed to unite +in his house. The last evening which I spent in Paris, he himself, who +is possessed of intellectual status and worldly wealth, came almost at +midnight to my lodging in the Rue Richelieu, ascended the many steps, +and brought me his works under his arm. So much cordiality beamed in +his eyes and he seemed to be so full of kindness towards me, that I felt +affected by our separation. + +I also became acquainted with the sculptor David. There was a something +in his demeanor and in his straightforward manner that reminded me of +Thorwaldsen and Bissen, especially of the latter. We did not meet till +towards the conclusion of my residence in Paris. He lamented it, and +said that he would execute a bust of me if I would remain there longer. + +When I said, "But you know nothing of me as a poet, and cannot tell +whether I deserve it or not," he looked earnestly in my face, clapped +me on the shoulder, and said, "I have, however, read you yourself before +your books. You are a poet." + +At the Countess ----'s, where I met with Balzac, I saw an old lady, +the expression of whose countenance attracted my attention. There was +something so animated, so cordial in it, and everybody gathered about +her. The Countess introduced me to her, and I heard that she was Madame +Reybaud, the authoress of Les Epaves, the little story which I had made +use of for my little drama of The Mulatto. I told her all about it, and +of the representation of the piece, which interested her so much, that +she became from this evening my especial protectress. We went out +one evening together and exchanged ideas. She corrected my French and +allowed me to repeat what did not appear correct to her. She is a lady +of rich mental endowments, with a clear insight into the world, and she +showed maternal kindness towards me. + +I also again met with Heine. He had married since I was last here. I +found him in indifferent health; but full of energy, and so friendly +and so natural in his behavior towards me, that I felt no timidity in +exhibiting myself to him as I was. One day he had been relating to his +wife my story of the Constant Tin Soldier, and, whilst he said that I +was the author of this story, he introduced me to her. She was a lively, +pretty young lady. A troop of children, who, as Heine says, belonged to +a neighbor, played about in their room. We two played with them whilst +Heine copied out one of his last poems for me. + +I perceived in him no pain-giving, sarcastic smile; I only heard the +pulsation of a German heart, which is always perceptible in the songs, +and which _must_ live. + +Through the means of the many people I was acquainted with here, among +whom I might enumerate many others, as, for instance, Kalkbrenner, +Gathy, &c., my residence in Paris was made very cheerful and rich in +pleasure. I did not feel myself like a stranger there: I met with a +friendly reception among the greatest and best. It was like a payment +by anticipation of the talent which was in me, and through which they +expected that I would some time prove them not to have been mistaken. + +Whilst I was in Paris, I received from Germany, where already several of +my works were translated and read, a delightful and encouraging proof +of friendship. A German family, one of the most highly cultivated and +amiable with whom I am acquainted, had read my writings with interest, +especially the little biographical sketch prefixed to Only a Fiddler, +and felt the heartiest goodwill towards me, with whom they were then not +personally acquainted. They wrote to me, expressed their thanks for my +works and the pleasure they had derived from them, and offered me a kind +welcome to their house if I would visit it on my return home. There was +a something extremely cordial and natural in this letter, which was +the first that I received of this kind in Paris, and it also formed a +remarkable contrast to that which was sent to me from my native land in +the year 1833, when I was here for the first time. + +In this way I found myself, through my writings, adopted, as it were, +into a family to which since then I gladly betake myself, and where I +know that it is not only as the poet, but as the man, that I am beloved. +In how many instances have I not experienced the same kindness in +foreign countries! I will mention one for the sake of its peculiarity. + +There lived in Saxony a wealthy and benevolent family; the lady of the +house read my romance of Only a Fiddler, and the impression of this book +was such that she vowed that, if ever, in the course of her life, she +should meet with a poor child which was possessed of great musical +talents, she would not allow it to perish as the poor Fiddler had done. +A musician who had heard her say this, brought to her soon after, not +one, but two poor boys, assuring her of their talent, and reminding +her of her promise. She kept her word: both boys were received into +her house, were educated by her, and are now in the Conservatorium; the +youngest of them played before me, and I saw that his countenance was +happy and joyful. The same thing perhaps might have happened; the same +excellent lady might have befriended these children without my book +having been written: but notwithstanding this, my book is now connected +with this as a link in the chain. + +On my return home from Paris, I went along the Rhine; I knew that the +poet Frieligrath, to whom the King of Prussia had given a pension, was +residing in one of the Rhine towns. The picturesque character of his +poems had delighted me extremely, and I wished to talk with him. I +stopped at several towns on the Rhine, and inquired after him. In St. +Goar, I was shown the house in which he lived. I found him sitting +at his writing table, and he appeared annoyed at being disturbed by a +stranger. I did not mention my name; but merely said that I could not +pass St. Goar without paying my respects to the poet Frieligrath. + +"That is very kind of you," said he, in a very cold tone; and then asked +who I was. + +"We have both of us one and the same friend, Chamisso!" replied I, and +at these words he leapt up exultantly. + +"You are then Andersen!" he exclaimed; threw his arms around my neck, +and his honest eyes beamed with joy. + +"Now you will stop several days here," said he. I told him that I could +only stay a couple of hours, because I was travelling with some of my +countrymen who were waiting for me. + +"You have a great many friends in little St. Goar," said he; "it is but +a short time since I read aloud your novel of O. T. to a large circle; +one of these friends I must, at all events, fetch here, and you must +also see my wife. Yes, indeed, you do not know that you had something to +do in our being married." + +He then related to me how my novel, Only a Fiddler, had caused them to +exchange letters, and then led to their acquaintance, which acquaintance +had ended in their being a married couple. He called her, mentioned to +her my name, and I was regarded as an old friend. Such moments as these +are a blessing; a mercy of God, a happiness--and how many such, how +various, have I not enjoyed! + +I relate all these, to me, joyful occurrences; they are facts in +my life: I relate them, as I formerly have related that which was +miserable, humiliating, and depressing; and if I have done so, in +the spirit which operated in my soul, it will not be called pride or +vanity;--neither of them would assuredly be the proper name for it. But +people may perhaps ask at home, Has Andersen then never been attacked in +foreign countries? I must reply,--no! + +No regular attack has been made upon me, at least they have never at +home called my attention to any such, and therefore there certainly +cannot have been anything of the kind;--with the exception of one which +made its appearance in Germany, but which originated in Denmark, at the +very moment when I was in Paris. + +A certain Mr. Boas made a journey at that time through Scandinavia, and +wrote a book on the subject. In this he gave a sort of survey of +Danish literature, which he also published in the journal called Die +Grenzboten; in this I was very severely handled as a man and as a poet. +Several other Danish poets also, as for instance, Christian Winter, have +an equally great right to complain. Mr. Boas had drawn his information +out of the miserable gossip of every-day life; his work excited +attention in Copenhagen, and nobody there would allow themselves to be +considered as his informants; nay even Holst the poet, who, as may be +seen from the work, travelled with him through Sweden, and had received +him at his house in Copenhagen, on this occasion published, in one of +the most widely circulated of our papers, a declaration that he was in +no way connected with Mr. Boas. + +Mr. Boas had in Copenhagen attached himself to a particular clique +consisting of a few young men; he had heard them full of lively spirits, +talking during the day, of the Danish poets and their writings; he had +then gone home, written down what he had heard and afterwards published +it in his work. This was, to use the mildest term, inconsiderate. That +my Improvisatore and Only a Fiddler did not please him, is a matter of +taste, and to that I must submit myself. But when he, before the whole +of Germany, where probably people will presume that what he has written +is true, if he declare it to be, as is the case, the universal judgment +against me in my native land; when he, I say, declared me before the +whole of Germany, to be the most haughty of men, he inflicts upon me a +deeper wound than he perhaps imagined. He conveyed the voice of a party, +formerly hostile to me, into foreign countries. Nor is he true even in +that which he represents; he gives circumstances as facts, which never +took place. + +In Denmark what he has written could not injure me, and many have +declared themselves afraid of coming into contact with any one, who +printed everything which he heard. His book was read in Germany, the +public of which is now also mine; and I believe, therefore, that I may +here say how faulty is his view of Danish literature and Danish poets; +in what manner his book was received in my native land and that people +there know in what way it was put together. But after I have expressed +myself thus on this subject I will gladly offer Mr. Boas my hand; and +if, in his next visit to Denmark, no other poet will receive him, I will +do my utmost for him; I know that he will not be able to judge me more +severely when we know each other, than when we knew each other not. His +judgment would also have been quite of another character had he come to +Denmark but one year later; things changed very much in a year's time. +Then the tide had turned in my favor; I then had published my new +children's stories, of which from that moment to the present there +prevailed, through the whole of my native land, but one unchanging +honorable opinion. When the edition of my collection of stories came out +at Christmas 1843, the reaction began; acknowledgment of my merits were +made, and favor shown me in Denmark, and from that time I have no cause +for complaint. I have obtained and I obtain in my own land that which I +deserve, nay perhaps, much more. + +I will now turn to those little stories which in Denmark have been +placed by every one, without any hesitation, higher than anything else I +had hitherto written. + +In the year 1835, some months after I published the Improvisatore, I +brought out my first volume of Stories for Children, [Footnote: I find +it very difficult to give a correct translation of the original word. +The Danish is _Eventyr_, equivalent to the German _Abentheur_, or +adventure; but adventures give in English a very different idea to +this class of stories. The German word _M rchen,_ gives the meaning +completely, and this we may English by _fairy tale_ or _legend,_ but +then neither of these words are fully correct with regard to Andersen's +stories. In my translation of his "Eventyr fortalte for Born," I gave as +an equivalent title, "Wonderful Stories for Children," and perhaps this +near as I could come.--M. H.] which at that time was not so very much +thought of. One monthly critical journal even complained that a young +author who had just published a work like the Improvisatore, should +immediately come out with anything so childish as the tales. I reaped a +harvest of blame, precisely where people ought to have acknowledged the +advantage of my mind producing something in a new direction. Several of +my friends, whose judgment was of value to me, counselled me entirely to +abstain from writing tales, as these were a something for which I had +no talent. Others were of opinion that I had better, first of all, study +the French fairy tale. I would willingly have discontinued writing them, +but they forced themselves from me. + +In the volume which I first published, I had, like Mus us, but in my own +manner, related old stories, which I had heard as a child. The volume +concluded with one which was original, and which seemed to have given +the greatest pleasure, although it bore a tolerably near affinity to a +story of Hoffman's. In my increasing disposition for children's stories, +I therefore followed my own impulse, and invented them mostly myself. In +the following year a new volume came out, and soon after that a third, +in which the longest story, The Little Mermaid, was my own invention. +This story, in an especial manner, created an interest which was +only increased by the following volumes. One of these came out every +Christmas, and before long no Christmas tree could exist without my +stones. + +Some of our first comic actors made the attempt of relating my little +stories from the stage; it was a complete change from the declamatory +poetry which had been heard to satiety. The Constant Tin Soldier, +therefore, the Swineherd, and the Top and Ball, were told from the Royal +stage, and from those of private theatres, and were well received. In +order that the reader might be placed in the proper point of view, with +regard to the manner in which I told the stories, I had called my first +volume Stories told for Children. I had written my narrative down upon +paper, exactly in the language, and with the expressions in which I had +myself related them, by word of mouth, to the little ones, and I had +arrived at the conviction that people of different ages were equally +amused with them. The children made themselves merry for the most part +over what might be called the actors, older people, on the contrary, +were interested in the deeper meaning. The stories furnished reading for +children and grown people, and that assuredly is a difficult task for +those who will write children's stories. They met with open doors and +open hearts in Denmark; everybody read them. I now removed the words +"told for children," from my title, and published three volumes of "New +Stories," all of which were of my own invention, and which were received +in my own country with the greatest favor. I could not wish it greater; +I felt a real anxiety in consequence, a fear of not being able to +justify afterwards such an honorable award of praise. + +A refreshing sunshine streamed into my heart; I felt courage and joy, +and was filled, with a living desire of still more and more developing +my powers in this direction,--of studying more thoroughly this class +of writing, and of observing still more attentively the rich wells of +nature out of which I must create it. If attention be paid to the order +in which my stories are written, it certainly will be seen that there +is in them a gradual progression, a clearer working out of the idea, a +greater discretion in the use of agency, and, if I may so speak, a more +healthy tone and a more natural freshness may be perceived. + +At this period of my life, I made an acquaintance which was of great +moral and intellectual importance to me. I have already spoken of +several persons and public characters who have had influence on me as +the poet; but none of these have had more, nor in a nobler sense of the +word, than the lady to whom I here turn myself; she, through whom I, +at the same time, was enabled to forget my own individual self, to feel +that which is holy in art, and to become acquainted with the command +which God has given to genius. + +I now turn back to the year 1840. One day in the hotel in which I lived +in Copenhagen, I saw the name of Jenny Lind among those of the strangers +from Sweden. I was aware at that time that she was the first singer in +Stockholm. I had been that same year, in this neighbor country, and had +there met with honor and kindness: I thought, therefore, that it would +not be unbecoming in me to pay a visit to the young artist. She was, at +this time, entirely unknown out of Sweden, so that I was convinced that, +even in Copenhagen, her name was known only by few. She received me very +courteously, but yet distantly, almost coldly. She was, as she said, +on a journey with her father to South Sweden, and was come over to +Copenhagen for a few days in order that she might see this city. We +again parted distantly, and I had the impression of a very ordinary +character which soon passed away from my mind. + +In the autumn of 1843, Jenny Lind came again to Copenhagen. One of +my friends, our clever ballet-master, Bournonville, who has married a +Swedish lady, a friend of Jenny Lind, informed me of her arrival here +and told me that she remembered me very kindly, and that now she had +read my writings. He entreated me to go with him to her, and to employ +all my persuasive art to induce her to take a few parts at the Theatre +Royal; I should, he said, be then quite enchanted with what I should +hear. + +I was not now received as a stranger; she cordially extended to me her +hand, and spoke of my writings and of Miss Fredrika Bremer, who also +was her affectionate friend. The conversation was soon turned to her +appearance in Copenhagen, and of this Jenny Lind declared that she stood +in fear. + +"I have never made my appearance," said she, "out of Sweden; everybody +in my native land is so affectionate and kind to me, and if I made my +appearance in Copenhagen and should be hissed!--I dare not venture on +it!" + +I said, that I, it was true, could not pass judgment on her singing, +because I had never heard it, neither did I know how she acted, but +nevertheless, I was convinced that such was the disposition at this +moment in Copenhagen, that only a moderate voice and some knowledge of +acting would be successful; I believed that she might safely venture. + +Bournonville's persuasion obtained for the Copenhageners the greatest +enjoyment which they ever had. + +Jenny Lind made her first appearance among them as Alice in Robert +le Diable--it was like a new revelation in the realms of art, the +youthfully fresh voice forced itself into every heart; here reigned +truth and nature; everything was full of meaning and intelligence. At +one concert Jenny Lind sang her Swedish songs; there was something +so peculiar in this, so bewitching; people thought nothing about +the concert room; the popular melodies uttered by a being so purely +feminine, and bearing the universal stamp of genius, exercised their +omnipotent sway--the whole of Copenhagen was in raptures. Jenny Lind was +the first singer to whom the Danish students gave a serenade: torches +blazed around the hospitable villa where the serenade was given: she +expressed her thanks by again singing some Swedish songs, and I then saw +her hasten into the darkest corner and weep for emotion. + +"Yes, yes," said she, "I will exert myself; I will endeavor, I will be +better qualified than I am when I again come to Copenhagen." + +On the stage, she was the great artiste, who rose above all those around +her; at home, in her own chamber, a sensitive young girl with all the +humility and piety of a child. + +Her appearance in Copenhagen made an epoch in the history of our opera; +it showed me art in its sanctity--I had beheld one of its vestals. She +journeyed back to Stockholm, and from there Fredrika Bremer wrote to +me:--"With regard to Jenny Lind as a singer, we are both of us perfectly +agreed; she stands as high as any artist of our time can stand; but as +yet you do not know her in her full greatness. Speak to her about her +art, and you will wonder at the expansion of her mind, and will see her +countenance beaming with inspiration. Converse then with her of God, and +of the holiness of religion, and you will see tears in those innocent +eyes; she is great as an artist, but she is still greater in her pure +human existence!" + +In the following year I was in Berlin; the conversation with Meyerbeer +turned upon Jenny Lind; he had heard her sing the Swedish songs, and was +transported by them. + +"But how does she act?" asked he. + +I spoke in raptures of her acting, and gave him at the same time some +idea of her representation of Alice. He said to me that perhaps it might +be possible for him to determine her to come to Berlin. + +It is sufficiently well known that she made her appearance there, threw +every one into astonishment and delight, and won for herself in Germany +a European name. Last autumn she came again to Copenhagen, and the +enthusiasm was incredible; the glory of renown makes genius perceptible +to every one. People bivouacked regularly before the theatre, to obtain +a ticket. Jenny Lind appeared still greater than ever in her art, +because they had an opportunity of seeing her in many and such extremely +different parts. Her Norma is plastic; every attitude might serve as the +most beautiful model to a sculptor, and yet people felt that these +were the inspiration of the moment, and had not been studied before +the glass; Norma is no raving Italian; she is the suffering, sorrowing +woman--the woman possessed of a heart to sacrifice herself for an +unfortunate rival--the woman to whom, in the violence of the moment, +the thought may suggest itself of murdering the children of a faithless +lover, but who is immediately disarmed when she gazes into the eyes of +the innocent ones. + +"Norma, thou holy priestess," sings the chorus, and Jenny Lind has +comprehended and shows to us this holy priestess in the aria, _Casta +diva_. In Copenhagen she sang all her parts in Swedish, and the other +singers sang theirs in Danish, and the two kindred languages mingled +very beautifully together; there was no jarring; even in the Daughter +of the Regiment where there is a deal of dialogue, the Swedish had +something agreeable--and what acting! nay, the word itself is a +contradiction--it was nature; anything as true never before appeared on +the stage. She shows us perfectly the true child of nature grown up in +the camp, but an inborn nobility pervades every movement. The Daughter +of the Regiment and the Somnambule are certainly Jenny Land's most +unsurpassable parts; no second can take their places in these beside +her. People laugh,--they cry; it does them as much good as going to +church; they become better for it. People feel that God is in art; and +where God stands before us face to face there is a holy church. + +"There will not in a whole century," said Mendelssohn, speaking to me +of Jenny Lind, "be born another being so gifted as she;" and his words +expressed my full conviction; one feels as she makes her appearance on +the stage, that she is a pure vessel, from which a holy draught will be +presented to us. + +There is not anything which can lessen the impression which Jenny Lind's +greatness on the stage makes, except her own personal character at home. +An intelligent and child-like disposition exercises here its astonishing +power; she is happy; belonging, as it were, no longer to the world, a +peaceful, quiet home, is the object of her thoughts--and yet she loves +art with her whole soul, and feels her vocation in it. A noble, pious +disposition like hers cannot be spoiled by homage. On one occasion only +did I hear her express her joy in her talent and her self-consciousness. +It was during her last residence in Copenhagen. Almost every evening +she appeared either in the opera or at concerts; every hour was in +requisition. She heard of a society, the object of which was, to assist +unfortunate children, and to take them out of the hands of their parents +by whom they were misused, and compelled either to beg or steal, and +to place them in other and better circumstances. Benevolent people +subscribed annually a small sum each for their support, nevertheless the +means for this excellent purpose were small. + +"But have I not still a disengaged evening?" said she; "let me give a +night's performance for the benefit of these poor children; but we will +have double prices!" + +Such a performance was given, and returned large proceeds; when she was +informed of this, and, that by this means, a number of poor children +would be benefited for several years, her countenance beamed, and the +tears filled her eyes. + +"It is however beautiful," said she, "that I can sing so!" + +I value her with the whole feeling of a brother, and I regard myself +as happy that I know and understand such a spirit. God give to her that +peace, that quiet happiness which she wishes for herself! + +Through Jenny Lind I first became sensible of the holiness there is in +art; through her I learned that one must forget oneself in the service +of the Supreme. No books, no men have had a better or a more ennobling +influence on me as the poet, than Jenny Lind, and I therefore have +spoken of her so long and so warmly here. + +I have made the happy discovery by experience, that inasmuch as art +and life are more clearly understood by me, so much more sunshine from +without has streamed into my soul. What blessings have not compensated +me for the former dark days! Repose and certainty have forced themselves +into my heart. Such repose can easily unite itself with the changing +life of travel; I feel myself everywhere at home, attach myself easily +to people, and they give me in return confidence and cordiality. + +In the summer of 1844 I once more visited North Germany. An intellectual +and amiable family in Oldenburg had invited me in the most friendly +manner to spend some time at their house. Count von Rantzau-Breitenburg +repeated also in his letters how welcome I should be to him. I set out +on the journey, and this journey was, if not one of my longest, still +one of my most interesting. + +I saw the rich marsh-land in its summer luxuriance, and made with +Rantzau several interesting little excursions. Breitenburg lies in the +middle of woods on the river St÷r; the steam-voyage to Hamburg gives +animation to the little river; the situation is picturesque, and life +in the castle itself is comfortable and pleasant. I could devote myself +perfectly to reading and poetry, because I was just as free as the +bird in the air, and I was as much cared for as if I had been a beloved +relation of the family. Alas it was the last time that I came hither; +Count Rantzau had, even then, a presentiment of his approaching death. +One day we met in the garden; he seized my hand, pressed it warmly, +expressed his pleasure in my talents being acknowledged abroad, and his +friendship for me, adding, in conclusion, "Yes, my dear young friend, +God only knows but I have the firm belief that this year is the last +time when we two shall meet here; my days will soon have run out their +full course." He looked at me with so grave an expression, that it +touched my heart deeply, but I knew not what to say. We were near to the +chapel; he opened a little gate between some thick hedges, and we stood +in a little garden, in which was a turfed grave and a seat beside it. + +"Here you will find me, when you come the next time to Breitenburg," +said he, and his sorrowful words were true. He died the following winter +in Wiesbaden. I lost in him a friend, a protector, a noble excellent +heart. + +When I, on the first occasion, went to Germany, I visited the Hartz and +the Saxon Switzerland. Goethe was still living. It was my most heartfelt +wish to see him. It was not far from the Hartz to Weimar, but I had no +letters of introduction to him, and, at that time, not one line of my +writings was translated. Many persons had described Goethe to me as a +very proud man, and the question arose whether indeed he would receive +me. I doubted it, and determined not to go to Weimar until I should have +written some work which would convey my name to Germany. I succeeded in +this, but alas, Goethe was already dead. + +I had made the acquaintance of his daughter-in-law Mrs. von Goethe, born +at Pogwitsch, at the house of Mendelssohn Bartholdy, in Leipsig, on my +return from Constantinople; this _spirituelle_ lady received me with +much kindness. She told me that her son Walter had been my friend for +a long time; that as a boy he had made a whole play out of my +Improvisatore; that this piece had been performed in Goethe's house; +and lastly, that Walter, had once wished to go to Copenhagen to make my +acquaintance. I thus had now friends in Weimar. + +An extraordinary desire impelled me to see this city where Goethe, +Schiller, Wieland, and Herder had lived, and from which so much light +had streamed forth over the world. I approached that land which had +been rendered sacred by Luther, by the strife of the Minnesingers on the +Wartburg, and by the memory of many noble and great events. + +On the 24th of June, the birthday of the Grand Duke, I arrived a +stranger in the friendly town. Everything indicated the festivity which +was then going forward, and the young prince was received with great +rejoicing in the theatre, where a new opera was being given. I did not +think how firmly, the most glorious and the best of all those whom I +here saw around me, would grow into my heart; how many of my future +friends sat around me here--how dear this city would become to me--in +Germany my second home. I was invited by Goethe's worthy friend, the +excellent Chancellor Muller, and I met with the most cordial reception +from him. By accident I here met on my first call, with the Kammerherr +Beaulieu de Marconnay, whom I had known in Oldenburg; he was now placed +in Weimar. He invited me to remove to his house. In the course of a few +minutes I was his stationary guest, and I felt "it is good to be here." + +There are people whom it only requires a few days to know and to love; I +won in Beaulieu, in these few days, a friend, as I believe, for my whole +life. He introduced me into the family circle, the amiable chancellor +received me equally cordially; and I who had, on my arrival, fancied +myself quite forlorn, because Mrs. von Goethe and her son Walter were in +Vienna, was now known in Weimar, and well received in all its circles. + +The reigning Grand Duke and Duchess gave me so gracious and kind a +reception as made a deep impression upon me. After I had been presented, +I was invited to dine, and soon after received an invitation to +visit the hereditary Grand Duke and his lady, at the hunting seat of +Ettersburg, which stands high, and close to an extensive forest. The +old fashioned furniture within the house, and the distant views from +the park into the Hartz mountains, produced immediately a peculiar +impression. All the young peasants had assembled at the castle to +celebrate the birthday of their beloved young Duke; climbing-poles, +from which fluttered handkerchiefs and ribbons, were erected; fiddles +sounded, and people danced merrily under the branches of the large and +flowering limetrees. Sabbath splendor, contentment and happiness were +diffused over the whole. + +The young andebut new married princely pair seemed to be united by true +heartfelt sentiment. The heart must be able to forget the star on the +breast under which it beats, if its possessor wish to remain long free +and happy in a court; and such a heart, certainly one of the noblest and +best which beats, is possessed by Karl Alexander of Saxe-Weimar. I had +the happiness of a sufficient length of time to establish this belief. +During this, my first residence here, I came several times to the happy +Ettersburg. The young Duke showed me the garden and the tree on the +trunk of which Goethe, Schiller, and Wieland had cut their names; +nay even Jupiter himself had wished to add his to theirs, for his +thunder-bolt had splintered it in one of the branches. + +The intellectual Mrs. von Gross (Amalia Winter), Chancellor von Muller, +who was able livingly to unroll the times of Goethe and to explain his +Faust, and the soundly honest and child-like minded Eckermann belonged +to the circle at Ettersburg. The evenings passed like a spiritual dream; +alternately some one read aloud; even I ventured, for the first time in +a foreign language to me, to read one of my own tales--the Constant Tin +Soldier. + +Chancellor von Muller accompanied me to the princely burial-place, where +Karl August sleeps with his glorious wife, not between Schiller and +Goethe, as I believed when I wrote--"the prince has made for himself +a rainbow glory, whilst he stands between the sun and the rushing +waterfall." Close beside the princely pair, who understood and valued +that which was great, repose these their immortal friends. Withered +laurel garlands lay upon the simple brown coffins, of which the whole +magnificence consists in the immortal names of Goethe and Schiller. In +life the prince and the poet walked side by side, in death they slumber +under the same vault. Such a place as this is never effaced from the +mind; in such a spot those quiet prayers are offered, which God alone +hears. + +I remained above eight days in Weimar; it seemed to me as if I had +formerly lived in this city; as if it were a beloved home which I must +now leave. As I drove out of the city, over the bridge and past the +mill, and for the last time looked back to the city and the castle, a +deep melancholy took hold on my soul, and it was to me as if a beautiful +portion of my life here had its close; I thought that the journey, after +I had left Weimar, could afford me no more pleasure. How often since +that time has the carrier pigeon, and still more frequently, the mind, +flown over to this place! Sunshine has streamed forth from Weimar upon +my poet-life. + +From Weimar I went to Leipzig where a truly poetical evening awaited me +with Robert Schumann. This great composer had a year before surprised me +by the honor of dedicating to me the music which he had composed to four +of my songs; the lady of Dr. Frege whose singing, so full of soul, has +pleased and enchanted so many thousands, accompanied Clara Schumann, +and the composer and the poet were alone the audience: a little festive +supper and a mutual interchange of ideas shortened the evening only +too much. I met with the old, cordial reception at the house of Mr. +Brockhaus, to which from former visits I had almost accustomed myself. +The circle of my friends increased in the German cities; but the first +heart is still that to which we most gladly turn again. + +I found in Dresden old friends with youthful feelings; my gifted +half-countryman Dahl, the Norwegian, who knows how upon canvas to make +the waterfall rush foaming down, and the birch-tree to grow as in the +valleys of Norway, and Vogel von Vogelstein, who did me the honor of +painting my portrait, which was included in the royal collection of +portraits. The theatre intendant, Herr von L ttichau, provided me every +evening with a seat in the manager's box; and one of the noblest +ladies, in the first circles of Dresden, the worthy Baroness von Decken, +received me as a mother would receive her son. In this character I was +ever afterwards received in her family and in the amiable circle of her +friends. + +How bright and beautiful is the world! How good are human beings! That +it is a pleasure to live becomes ever more and more clear to me. + + Beaulieu's younger brother Edmund, who is an officer in the army, came +one day from Tharand, where he had spent the summer months. I +accompanied him to various places, spent some happy days among the +pleasant scenery of the hills, and was received at the same time into +various families. + +I visited with the Baroness Decken, for the first time, the celebrated +and clever painter Retsch, who has published the bold outlines of +Goethe, Shakspeare, &c. He lives a sort of Arcadian life among lowly +vineyards on the way to Meissen. Every year he makes a present to his +wife, on her birthday, of a new drawing, and always one of his best; +the collection has grown through a course of years to a valuable album, +which she, if he die before her, is to publish. Among the many glorious +ideas there, one struck me as peculiar; the Flight into Egypt. It is +night; every one sleeps in the picture,--Mary, Joseph, the flowers and +the shrubs, nay even the ass which carries her--all, except the child +Jesus, who, with open round countenance, watches over and illumines all. +I related one of my stories to him, and for this I received a lovely +drawing,--a beautiful young girl hiding herself behind the mask of an +old woman; thus should the eternally youthful soul, with its blooming +loveliness, peep forth from behind the old mask of the fairy-tale. +Retsch's pictures are rich in thought, full of beauty, and a genial +spirit. + +I enjoyed the country-life of Germany with Major Serre and his amiable +wife at their splendid residence of Maren; it is not possible for +any one to exercise greater hospitality than is done by these two +kind-hearted people. A circle of intelligent, interesting individuals, +were here assembled; I remained among them above eight days, and there +became acquainted with Kohl the traveller, and the clever authoress, +the Countess Hahn-Hahn, in whom I discerned a woman by disposition and +individual character in whom confidence may be placed. Where one is well +received there one gladly lingers. I found myself unspeakably happy on +this little journey in Germany, and became convinced that I was there +no stranger. It was heart and truth to nature which people valued in my +writings; and, however excellent and praiseworthy the exterior beauty +may be, however imposing the maxims of this world's wisdom, still it is +heart and nature which have least changed by time, and which everybody +is best able to understand. + +I returned home by way of Berlin, where I had not been for several +years; but the dearest of my friends there--Chamisso, was dead. + + The fair wild swan which flew far o'er the earth, + And laid its head upon a wild-swan's breast, + +was now flown to a more glorious hemisphere; I saw his children, who +were now fatherless and motherless. From the young who here surround me, +I discover that I am grown older; I feel it not in myself. Chamisso's +sons, whom I saw the last time playing here in the little garden +with bare necks, came now to meet me with helmet and sword: they were +officers in the Prussian service. I felt in a moment how the years had +rolled on, how everything was changed and how one loses so many. + + Yet is it not so hard as people deem, + To see their soul's beloved from them riven; + God has their dear ones, and in death they seem + To form a bridge which leads them up to heaven. + +I met with the most cordial reception, and have since then always met +with the same, in the house of the Minister Savigny, where I became +acquainted with the clever, singularly gifted Bettina and her lovely +spiritual-minded daughter. One hour's conversation with Bettina during +which she was the chief speaker, was so rich and full of interest, that +I was almost rendered dumb by all this eloquence, this firework of wit. +The world knows her writings, but another talent which she is possessed +of, is less generally known, namely her talent for drawing. Here again +it is the ideas which astonish us. It was thus, I observed, she had +treated in a sketch an accident which had occurred just before, a young +man being killed by the fumes of wine. You saw him descending half-naked +into the cellar, round which lay the wine casks like monsters: +Bacchanals and Bacchantes danced towards him, seized their victim and +destroyed him! I know that Thorwaldsen, to whom she once showed all +her drawings, was in the highest degree astonished by the ideas they +contained. + +It does the heart such good when abroad to find a house, where, when +immediately you enter, eyes flash like festal lamps, a house where you +can take peeps into a quiet, happy domestic life--such a house is that +of Professor Weiss. Yet how many new acquaintance which were found, +and old acquaintance which were renewed, ought I not to mention! I met +Cornelius from Rome, Schelling from Munich, my countryman I might almost +call him; Steffens, the Norwegian, and once again Tieck, whom I had not +seen since my first visit to Germany. He was very much altered, yet his +gentle, wise eyes were the same, the shake of his hand was the same. I +felt that he loved me and wished me well. I must visit him in Potsdam, +where he lived in ease and comfort. At dinner I became acquainted with +his brother the sculptor. + +From Tieck I learnt how kindly the King and Queen of Prussia were +disposed towards me; that they had read my romance of Only a Fiddler, +and inquired from Tieck about me. Meantime their Majesties were absent +from Berlin. I had arrived the evening before their departure, when that +abominable attempt was made upon their lives. + +I returned to Copenhagen by Stettin in stormy weather, full of the joy +of life, and again saw my dear friends, and in a few days set off to +Count Moltke's in Funen, there to spend a few lovely summer days. I here +received a letter from the Minister Count Rantzau-Breitenburg, who was +with the King and Queen of Denmark at the watering-place of F÷hr. He +wrote, saying that he had the pleasure of announcing to me the most +gracious invitation of their Majesties to F÷hr. This island, as is well +known, lies in the North Sea, not far from the coast of Sleswick, in +the neighborhood of the interesting Halligs, those little islands which +Biernatzky described so charmingly in his novels. Thus, in a manner +wholly unexpected by me, I should see scenery of a very peculiar +character even in Denmark. + +The favor of my king and Queen made me happy, and I rejoiced to be once +more in close intimacy with Rantzau. Alas, it was for the last time! + +It was just now five and twenty years since I, a poor lad, travelled +alone and helpless to Copenhagen. Exactly the five and twentieth +anniversary would be celebrated by my being with my king and queen, to +whom I was faithfully attached, and whom I at that very time learned to +love with my whole soul. Everything that surrounded me, man and nature, +reflected themselves imperishably in my soul. I felt myself, as it were, +conducted to a point from which I could look forth more distinctly over +the past five and twenty years, with all the good fortune and happiness +which they had evolved for me. The reality frequently surpasses the most +beautiful dream. + +I travelled from Funen to Flensborg, which, lying in its great bay, is +picturesque with woods and hills, and then immediately opens out into +a solitary heath. Over this I travelled in the bright moonlight. The +journey across the heath was tedious; the clouds only passed rapidly. We +went on monotonously through the deep sand, and monotonous was the +wail of a bird among the shrubby heath. Presently we reached moorlands. +Long-continued rain had changed meadows and cornfields into great lakes; +the embankments along which we drove were like morasses; the horses sank +deeply into them. In many places the light carriage was obliged to be +supported by the peasants, that it might not fall upon the cottages +below the embankment. Several hours were consumed over each mile +(Danish). At length the North Sea with its islands lay before me. The +whole coast was an embankment, covered for miles with woven straw, +against which the waves broke. I arrived at high tide. The wind was +favorable, and in less than an hour I reached F÷hr, which, after my +difficult journey, appeared to me like a real fairy land. + +The largest city, Wyck, in which are the baths, is exactly built like a +Dutch town. The houses are only one story high, with sloping roofs and +gables turned to the street. The many strangers there, and the presence +of the court, gave a peculiar animation to the principal street. +Well-known faces looked out from almost every house; the Danish flag +waved, and music was heard. I was soon established in my quarters, and +every day, until the departure of their Majesties, had I the honor of an +invitation from them to dinner, as well as to pass the evening in their +circle. On several evenings I read aloud my little stories (M rchen) +to the king and queen, and both of them were gracious and affectionate +towards me. It is so good when a noble human nature will reveal itself +where otherwise only the king's crown and the purple mantle might be +discovered. Few people can be more amiable in private life than their +present Majesties of Denmark. May God bless them and give them joy, even +as they filled my breast with happiness and sunshine! + +I sailed in their train to the largest of the Halligs, those grassy +runes in the ocean, which bear testimony to a sunken country. The +violence of the sea has changed the mainland into islands, has riven +these again, and buried men and villages. Year after year are new +portions rent away, and, in half a century's time, there will be nothing +here but sea. The Halligs are now only low islets covered with a dark +turf, on which a few flocks graze. When the sea rises these are driven +into the garrets of the houses, and the waves roll over this little +region, which is miles distant from the shore. Oland, which we visited, +contains a little town. The houses stand closely side by side, as if, +in their sore need they would all huddle together. They are all erected +upon a platform, and have little windows, as in the cabin of a ship. +There, in the little room, solitary through half the year, sit the wife +and her daughters spinning. There, however, one always finds a little +collection of books. I found books in Danish, German, and Frieslandish. +The people read and work, and the sea rises round the houses, which +lie like a wreck in the ocean. Sometimes, in the night, a ship, having +mistaken the lights, drives on here and is stranded. + +In the year 1825, a tempestuous tide washed away men and houses. The +people sat for days and nights half naked upon the roofs, till these +gave way; nor from F÷hr nor the mainland could help be sent to them. +The church-yard is half washed away; coffins and corpses were frequently +exposed to view by the breakers: it is an appalling sight. And yet +the inhabitants of the Halligs are attached to their little home. They +cannot remain on the mainland, but are driven thence by home sickness. + +We found only one man upon the island, and he had only lately arisen +from a sick bed. The others were out on long voyages. We were received +by girls and women. They had erected before the church a triumphal arch +with flowers which they had fetched from F÷hr; but it was so small and +low, that one was obliged to go round it; nevertheless they showed by it +their good will. The queen was deeply affected by their having cut down +their only shrub, a rose bush, to lay over a marshy place which she +would have to cross. The girls are pretty, and are dressed in a half +Oriental fashion. The people trace their descent from Greeks. They wear +their faces half concealed, and beneath the strips of linen which lie +upon the head is placed a Greek fez, around which the hair is wound in +plaits. + +On our return, dinner was served on board the royal steamer; and +afterwards, as we sailed in a glorious sunset through this archipelago, +the deck of the vessel was changed to a dancing room. Young and old +danced; servants flew hither and thither with refreshments; sailors +stood upon the paddle-boxes and took the soundings, and their deep-toned +voices might be heard giving the depth of the water. The moon rose +round and large, and the promontory of Amrom assumed the appearance of a +snow-covered chain of Alps. + +I visited afterwards these desolate sand hills: the king went to shoot +rabbits there. Many years ago a ship was wrecked here, on board of which +were two rabbits, and from this pair Amrom is now stored with thousands +of their descendants. At low tide the sea recedes wholly from between +Amrom and F÷hr, and then people drive across from one island to another; +but still the time must be well observed and the passage accurately +known, or else, when the tide comes, he who crosses will be inevitably +lost. It requires only a few minutes, and then where dry land was large +ships may sail. We saw a whole row of wagons driving from F÷hr to Amrom. +Seen upon the white sand and against the blue horizon, they seem to be +twice as large as they really were. All around were spread out, like +a net, the sheets of water, as if they held firmly the extent of sand +which belonged to the ocean and which would be soon overflowed by it. +This promontory brings to one's memory the mounds of ashes at Vesuvius; +for here one sinks at every step, the wiry moor-grass not being able to +bind together the loose sand. The sun shone burningly hot between the +white sand hills: it was like a journey through the deserts of Africa. + +A peculiar kind of rose, and the heath were in flower in the valleys +between the hills; in other places there was no vegetation whatever; +nothing but the wet sand on which the waves had left their impress; the +sea had inscribed on its receding strange hieroglyphics. I gazed from +one of the highest points over the North Sea; it was ebb-tide; the sea +had retired above a mile; the vessels lay like dead fishes upon the +sand, and awaiting the returning tide. A few sailors had clambered down +and moved about on the sandy ground like black points. Where the sea +itself kept the white level sand in movement, a long bank elevated +itself, which, during the time of high-water, is concealed, and upon +which occur many wrecks. I saw the lofty wooden tower which is here +erected, and in which a cask is always kept filled with water, and +a basket supplied with bread and brandy, that the unfortunate human +beings, who are here stranded, may be able in this place, amid the +swelling sea, to preserve life for a few days until it is possible to +rescue them. + +To return from such a scene as this to a royal table, a charming +court-concert, and a little ball in the bath-saloon, as well as to the +promenade by moonlight, thronged with guests, a little Boulevard, had +something in it like a fairy tale,--it was a singular contrast. + +As I sat on the above-mentioned five-and-twentieth anniversary, on the +5th of September, at the royal dinner-table, the whole of my former life +passed in review before my mind. I was obliged to summon all my strength +to prevent myself bursting into tears. There are moments of thankfulness +in which, as it were, we feel a desire to press God to our hearts. How +deeply I felt, at this time, my own nothingness; how all, all, had come +from him. Rantzau knew what an interesting day this was to me. +After dinner the king and the queen wished me happiness, and that +so--_graciously_, is a poor word,--so cordially, so sympathizingly! The +king wished me happiness in that which I had endured and won. He asked +me about my first entrance into the world, and I related to him some +characteristic traits. + +In the course of conversation he inquired if I had not some certain +yearly income; I named the sum to him. + +"That is not much," said the king. + +"But I do not require much," replied I, "and my writings procure me +something." + +The king, in the kindest manner, inquired farther into my circumstances, +and closed by saying, + +"If I can, in any way, be serviceable to your literary labors, then come +to me." + +In the evening, during the concert, the conversation was renewed, and +some of those who stood near me reproached me for not having made use of +my opportunity. + +"The king," said they, "put the very words into your mouth." + +But I could not, I would not have done it. "If the king," I said, "found +that I required something more, he could give it to me of his own will." + +And I was not mistaken. In the following year King Christian VIII. +increased my annual stipend, so that with this and that which my +writings bring in, I can live honorably and free from care. My king gave +it to me out of the pure good-will of his own heart. King Christian +is enlightened, clear-sighted, with a mind enlarged by science; the +gracious sympathy, therefore, which he has felt in my fate is to me +doubly cheering and ennobling. + +The 5th of September was to me a festival-day; even the German visitors +at the baths honored me by drinking my health in the pump-room. + +So many flattering circumstances, some people argue, may easily spoil a +man, and make him vain. But, no; they do not spoil him, they make him on +the contrary--better; they purify his mind, and he must thereby feel an +impulse, a wish, to deserve all that he enjoys. At my parting-audience +with the queen, she gave me a valuable ring as a remembrance of our +residence at F÷hr; and the king again expressed himself full of kindness +and noble sympathy. God bless and preserve this exalted pair! + +The Duchess of Augustenburg was at this time also at F÷hr with her two +eldest daughters. I had daily the happiness of being with them, and +received repeated invitations to take Augustenburg on my return. For +this purpose I went from F÷hr to Als, one of the most beautiful islands +in the Baltic. That little region resembles a blooming garden; luxuriant +corn and clover-fields are enclosed, with hedges of hazels and wild +roses; the peasants' houses are surrounded by large apple-orchards, full +of fruit. Wood and hill alternate. Now we see the ocean, and now the +narrow Lesser Belt, which resembles a river. The Castle of Augustenburg +is magnificent, with its garden full of flowers, extending down to +the very shores of the serpentine bay. I met with the most cordial +reception, and found the most amiable family-life in the ducal circle. +I spent fourteen days here, and was present at the birth-day festivities +of the duchess, which lasted three days; among these festivities was +racing, and the town and the castle were filled with people. + +Happy domestic life is like a beautiful summer's evening; the heart is +filled with peace; and everything around derives a peculiar glory. +The full heart says "it is good to be here;" and this I felt at +Augustenburg. + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +In the spring of 1844 I had finished a dramatic tale, "The Flower of +Fortune." The idea of this was, that it is not the immortal name of the +artist, nor the splendor of a crown which can make man happy; but that +happiness is to be found where people, satisfied with little, love and +are loved again. The scene was perfectly Danish, an idyllian, sunbright +life, in whose clear heaven two dark pictures are reflected as in +a dream; the unfortunate Danish poet Ewald and Prince Buris, who is +tragically sung of in our heroic ballads. I wished to show, in honor +of our times, the middle ages to have been dark and miserable, as they +were, but which many poets only represent to us in a beautiful light. + +Professor Heiberg, who was appointed censor, declared himself against +the reception of my piece. During the last years I had met with nothing +but hostility from this party; I regarded it as personal ill-will, and +this was to me still more painful than the rejection of the pieces. It +was painful for me to be placed in a constrained position with regard +to a poet whom I respected, and towards whom, according to my own +conviction, I had done everything in order to obtain a friendly +relationship. A further attempt, however, must be made. I wrote to +Heiberg, expressed myself candidly, and, as I thought, cordially, and +entreated him to give me explicitly the reasons for his rejection of the +piece and for his ill-will towards me. He immediately paid me a visit, +which I, not being at home when he called, returned on the following +day, and I was received in the most friendly manner. The visit and the +conversation belong certainly to the extraordinary, but they occasioned +an explanation, and I hope led to a better understanding for the future. + +He clearly set before me his views in the rejection of my piece. Seen +from his point of sight they were unquestionably correct; but they were +not mine, and thus we could not agree. He declared decidedly that he +cherished no spite against me, and that he acknowledged my talent. I +mentioned his various attacks upon me, for example, in the Intelligence, +and that he had denied to me original invention: I imagined, however, +that I had shown this in my novels; "But of these," said I, "you have +read none; you, yourself have told me so." + +"Yes, that is the truth," replied he; "I have not yet read them, but I +will do so." + +"Since then," continued I, "you have turned me and my Bazaar to ridicule +in your poem called Denmark, and spoken about my fanaticism for the +beautiful Dardanelles; and yet I have, precisely in that book, described +the Dardanelles as not beautiful; it is the Bosphorus which I thought +beautiful; you seem not to be aware of that; perhaps you have not read +The Bazaar either?" + +"Was it the Bosphorus?" said he, with his own peculiar smile; "yes, +I had quite forgotten that, and, you see, people do not remember it +either; the object in this case was only to give you a stab." + +This confession sounded so natural, so like him, that I was obliged to +smile. I looked into his clever eyes, thought how many beautiful things +he had written, and I could not be angry with him. The conversation +became more lively, more free, and he said many kind things to me; for +example, he esteemed my stories very highly, and entreated me frequently +to visit him. I have become more and more acquainted with his poetical +temperament, and I fancy that he too will understand mine. We are +very dissimilar, but we both strive after the same object. Before we +separated he conducted me to his little observatory; now his dearest +world. He seems now to live for poetry and now for philosophy, andùfor +which I fancy he is least of all calculated--for astronomy. I could +almost sigh and sing, + + Thou wast erewhile the star at which them gazest now! + +My dramatic story came at length on the stage, and in the course of the +season was performed seven times. + +As people grow older, however much they may be tossed about in the +world, some one place must be the true home; even the bird of passage +has one fixed spot to which it hastens; mine was and is the house of my +friend Collin. Treated as a son, almost grown up with the children, +I have become a member of the family; a more heartfelt connection, +a better home have I never known: a link broke in this chain, and +precisely in the hour of bereavement, did I feel how firmly I have been +engrafted here, so that I was regarded as one of the children. + + If I were to give the picture of the mistress of a family who wholly +loses her own individual _I_ in her husband and children, I must name +the wife of Collin; with the sympathy of a mother, she also followed me +in sorrow and in gladness. In the latter years of her life she became +very deaf, and besides this she had the misfortune of being nearly +blind. An operation was performed on her sight, which succeeded so well, +that in the course of the winter she was able to read a letter, and +this was a cause of grateful joy to her. She longed in an extraordinary +manner for the first green of spring, and this she saw in her little +garden. + +I parted from her one Sunday evening in health and joy; in the night I +was awoke; a servant brought me a letter. Collin wrote, "My wife is very +ill; the children are all assembled here!" I understood it, and hastened +thither. She slept quietly and without pain; it was the sleep of the +just; it was death which was approaching so kindly and calmly. On the +third day she yet lay in that peaceful slumber: then her countenance +grew pale--and she was dead! + + Thou didst but close thine eyes to gather in + The large amount of all thy spiritual bliss; + We saw thy slumbers like a little child's. + O death! thou art all brightness and not shadow. + +Never had I imagined that the departure from this world could be so +painless, so blessed. A devotion arose in my soul; a conviction of God +and eternity, which this moment elevated to an epoch in my life. It +was the first death-bed at which I had been present since my childhood. +Children, and children's children were assembled. In such moments all is +holy around us. Her soul was love; she went to love and to God! + +At the end of July, the monument of King Frederick VI. was to +be uncovered at Skanderburg, in the middle of Jutland. I had, by +solicitation, written the cantata for the festival, to which Hartmann +had furnished the music, and this was to be sung by Danish students. I +had been invited to the festival, which thus was to form the object of +my summer excursion. + +Skanderburg lies in one of the most beautiful districts of Denmark. +Agreeable hills rise covered with vast beech-woods, and a large inland +lake of a pleasing form extends among them. On the outside of the city, +close by the church, which is built upon the ruins of an old castle, now +stands the monument, a work of Thorwaldsen's. The most beautiful moment +to me at this festival was in the evening, after the unveiling of the +monument; torches were lighted around it, and threw their unsteady flame +over the lake; within the woods blazed thousands of lights, and music +for the dance resounded from the tents. Round about upon the hills, +between the woods, and high above them, bonfires were lighted at one +and the same moment, which burned in the night like red stars. There was +spread over lake and land a pure, a summer fragrance which is peculiar +to the north, in its beautiful summer nights. The shadows of those who +passed between the monument and the church, glided gigantically along +its red walls, as if they were spirits who were taking part in the +festival. + +I returned home. In this year my novel of the Improvisatore was +translated into English, by the well-known authoress, Mary Howitt, +and was received by her countrymen with great applause. O. T. and the +Fiddler soon followed, and met with, as it seemed, the same reception. +After that appeared a Dutch, and lastly a Russian translation of the +Improvisatore. That which should never have ventured to have dreamed +of was accomplished; my writings seem to come forth under a lucky star; +they fly over all lands. There is something elevating, but at the same +time, a something terrific in seeing one's thoughts spread so far, and +among so many people; it is indeed, almost a fearful thing to belong to +so many. The noble and the good in us becomes a blessing; but the bad, +one's errors, shoot forth also, and involuntarily the thought forces +itself from us: God! let me never write down a word of which I shall not +be able to give an account to thee. A peculiar feeling, a mixture of +joy and anxiety, fills my heart every time my good genius conveys my +fictions to a foreign people. + +Travelling operates like an invigorating bath to the mind; like a +Medea-draft which always makes young again. I feel once more an impulse +for it--not in order to seek up material, as a critic fancied and said, +in speaking of my Bazaar; there exists a treasury of material in my own +inner self, and this life is too short to mature this young existence; +but there needs refreshment of spirit in order to convey it vigorously +and maturely to paper, and travelling is to me, as I have said, this +invigorating bath, from which I return as it were younger and stronger. + +By prudent economy, and the proceeds of my writings, I was in a +condition to undertake several journeys during the last year. That +which for me is the most sunbright, is the one in which these pages were +written. Esteem, perhaps over-estimation, but especially kindness, +in short, happiness and pleasure have flowed towards me in abundant +measure. + +I wished to visit Italy for the third time, there to spend a summer, +that I might become acquainted with the south in its warm season, and +probably return thence by Spain and France. At the end of October, 1845, +I left Copenhagen. Formerly I had thought when I set out on a journey, +God! what wilt thou permit to happen to me on this journey! This time my +thoughts were, God, what will happen to my friends at home during this +long time! And I felt a real anxiety. In one year the hearse may drive +up to the door many times, and whose name may shine upon the coffin! The +proverb says, when one suddenly feels a cold shudder, "now death passes +over my grave." The shudder is still colder when the thoughts pass over +the graves of our best friends. + +I spent a few days at Count Moltke's, at Glorup; strolling players were +acting some of my dramatic works at one of the nearest provincial towns. +I did not see them; country life firmly withheld me. There is something +in the late autumn poetically beautiful; when the leaf is fallen from +the tree, and the sun shines still upon the green grass, and the bird +twitters, one may often fancy that it is a spring-day; thus certainly +also has the old man moments in his autumn in which his heart dreams of +spring. + +I passed only one day in Odense--I feel myself there more of a stranger +than in the great cities of Germany. As a child I was solitary, and had +therefore no youthful friend; most of the families whom I knew have died +out; a new generation passes along the streets; and the streets even +are altered. The later buried have concealed the miserable graves of my +parents. Everything is changed. I took one of my childhood's rambles to +the Marian-heights which had belonged to the Iversen family; but this +family is dispersed; unknown faces looked out from the windows. How many +youthful thoughts have been here exchanged! + +One of the young girls who at that time sat quietly there with beaming +eyes and listened to my first poem, when I came here in the summer time +as a scholar from Slagelse, sits now far quieter in noisy Copenhagen, +and has thence sent out her first writings into the world. Her German +publisher thought that some introductory words from me might be useful +to them, and I, the stranger, but the almost too kindly received, have +introduced the works of this clever girl into Germany. + +It is Henriette Hanck of whom I speak, the authoress of "Aunt Anna," +and "An Author's Daughter." [Footnote: Since these pages were written, I +have received from home the news of her death, in July, 1846. She was an +affectionate daughter to her parents, and was, besides this, possessed +of a deeply poetical mind. In her I have lost a true friend from the +years of childhood, one who had felt an interest and a sisterly regard +for me, both in my good and my evil days.] I visited her birth-place +when the first little circle paid me homage and gave me joy. But all was +strange there, I myself a stranger. + +The ducal family of Augustenburg was now at Castle Gravenstein; they +were informed of my arrival, and all the favor and the kindness which +was shown to me on the former occasion at Augustenburg, was here renewed +in rich abundance. I remained here fourteen days, and it was as if these +were an announcement of all the happiness which should meet me when I +arrived in Germany. The country around here is of the most picturesque +description; vast woods, cultivated uplands in perpetual variety, with +the winding shore of the bay and the many quiet inland lakes. Even the +floating mists of autumn lent to the landscape a some what picturesque, +something strange to the islander. Everything here is on a larger scale +than on the island. Beautiful was it without, glorious was it within. I +wrote here a new little story. The Girl with the Brimstone-matches; the +only thing which I wrote upon this journey. Receiving the invitation +to come often to Gravenstein and Augustenburg, I left, with a grateful +heart, a place where I had spent such beautiful and such happy days. + +Now, no longer the traveller goes at a snail's pace through the deep +sand over the heath; the railroad conveys him in a few hours to Altona +and Hamburg. The circle of my friends there is increased within the last +years. The greater part of my time I spent with my oldest friends Count +Hoik, and the resident Minister Bille, and with Zeise, the excellent +translator of my stories. Otto Speckter, who is full of genius, +surprised me by his bold, glorious drawings for my stories; he had made +a whole collection of them, six only of which were known to me. The +same natural freshness which shows itself in every one of his works, +and makes them all little works of art, exhibits itself in his whole +character. He appears to possess a patriarchal family, an affectionate +old father, and gifted sisters, who love him with their whole souls. I +wished one evening to go to the theatre; it was scarcely a quarter of an +hour before the commencement of the opera: Speckter accompanied me, and +on our way we came up to an elegant house. + +"We must first go in here, dear friend," said he; "a wealthy family +lives here, friends of mine, and friends of your stories; the children +will be happy." + +"But the opera," said I. + +"Only for two minutes," returned he; and drew me into the house, +mentioned my name, and the circle of children collected around me. + +"And now tell us a tale," said he; "only one." + +I told one, and then hastened away to the theatre. + +"That was an extraordinary visit," said I. + +"An excellent one; one entirely out of the common way; one entirely out +of the common way!" said he exultingly; "only think; the children are +full of Andersen and his stories; he suddenly makes his appearance +amongst them, tells one of them himself, and then is gone! vanished! +That is of itself like a fairy-tale to the children, that will remain +vividly in their remembrance." + +I myself was amused by it. + +In Oldenburg my own little room, home-like and comfortable, was awaiting +me. Hofrath von Eisendecker and his well-informed lady, whom, among all +my foreign friends I may consider as my most sympathizing, expected +me. I had promised to remain with them a fortnight, but I stayed much +longer. A house where the best and the most intellectual people of a +city meet, is an agreeable place of residence, and such a one had I +here. A deal of social intercourse prevailed in the little city, and the +theatre, in which certainly either opera or ballet was given, is one +of the most excellent in Germany. The ability of Gall, the director, is +sufficiently known, and unquestionably the nominationof the poet Mosen +has a great and good influence. I have to thank him for enabling me +to see one of the classic pieces of Germany, "Nathan the Wise," the +principal part in which was played by Kaiser, who is as remarkable for +his deeply studied and excellent tragic acting, as for his readings. + +Moses, who somewhat resembles Alexander Dumas, with his half African +countenance, and brown sparkling eyes, although he was suffering in +body, was full of life and soul, and we soon understood one another. A +trait of his little son affected me. He had listened to me with great +devotion, as I read one of my stories; and when on the last day I was +there, I took leave, the mother said that he must give me his hand, +adding, that probably a long time must pass before he would see me +again, the boy burst into tears. In the evening, when Mosen came into +the theatre, he said to me, "My little Erick has two tin soldiers; one +of them he has given me for you, that you may take him with you on your +journey." + +The tin soldier has faithfully accompanied me; he is a Turk: probably +some day he may relate his travels. + +Mosen wrote in the dedication of his "John of Austria," the following +lines to me:-- + + Once a little bird flew over + From the north sea's dreary strand; + Singing, flew unto me over, + Singing M rchen through the land. + Farewell! yet again bring hither + Thy warm heart and song together. + +Here I again met with Mayer, who has described Naples and the +Neapolitans so charmingly. My little stories interested him so much +that he had written a little treaties on them for Germany, Kapellmeister +Pott, and my countryman Jerndorff, belong to my earlier friends. I made +every day new acquaintance, because all houses were open to me through +the family with whom I was staying. Even the Grand Duke was so generous +as to have me invited to a concert at the palace the day after my +arrival, and later I had the honor of being asked to dinner. I received +in this foreign court, especially, many unlooked-for favors. At the +Eisendeckers and at the house of the parents of my friend Beaulieu--the +Privy-Counsellor Beaulieu, at Oldenburg, I heard several times my little +stones read in German. + +I can read Danish very well, as it ought to be read, and I can give to +it perfectly the expression which ought to be given in reading; there +is in the Danish language a power which cannot be transfused into +a translation; the Danish language is peculiarly excellent for this +species of fiction. The stories have a something strange to me in +German; it is difficult for me in reading it to put my Danish soul into +it; my pronunciation of the German also is feeble, and with particular +words I must, as it were, use an effort to bring them out--and yet +people everywhere in Germany have had great interest in hearing me read +them aloud. I can very well believe that the foreign pronunciation in +the reading of these tales may be easily permitted, because this foreign +manner approaches, in this instance, to the childlike; it gives +a natural coloring to the reading. I saw everywhere that the most +distinguished men and women of the most highly cultivated minds, +listened to me with interest; people entreated me to read, and I did so +willingly. I read for the first time my stories in a foreign tongue, +and at a foreign court, before the Grand Duke of Oldenburg and a little +select circle. + +The winter soon came on; the meadows which lay under water, and which +formed large lakes around the city, were already covered with thick +ice; the skaters flew over it, and I yet remained in Oldenburg among +my hospitable friends. Days and evenings slid rapidly away; Christmas +approached, and this season I wished to spend in Berlin. But what are +distances in our days?--the steam-carriage goes from Hanover to Berlin +in one day! I must away from the beloved ones, from children and old +people, who were near, as it were, to my heart. + +I was astonished in the highest degree on taking leave of the Grand +Duke, to receive from him, as a mark of his favor and as a keepsake, a +valuable ring. I shall always preserve it, like every other remembrance +of this country, where I have found and where I possess true friends. + +When I was in Berlin on the former occasion, I was invited, as the +author of the Improvisatore, to the Italian Society, into which only +those who have visited Italy can be admitted. Here I saw Rauch for the +first time, who with his white hair and his powerful, manly figure, +is not unlike Thorwaldsen. Nobody introduced me to him, and I did not +venture to present myself, and therefore walked alone about his studio, +like the other strangers. Afterwards I became personally acquainted +with him at the house of the Prussian Ambassador, in Copenhagen; I now +hastened to him. + +He was in the highest degree captivated by my little stories, pressed me +to his breast, and expressed the highest praise, but which was honestly +meant. Such a momentary estimation or over-estimation from a man of +genius erases many a dark shadow from the mind. I received from Rauch my +first welcome in Berlin: he told me what a large circle of friends I had +in the capital of Prussia. I must acknowledge that it was so. They were +of the noblest in mind as well as the first in rank, in art, and in +science. Alexander von Humboldt, Prince Radziwil, Savigny, and many +others never to be forgotten. + +I had already, on the former occasion, visited the brothers Grimm, but I +had not at that time made much progress with the acquaintance. I had not +brought any letters of introduction to them with me, because people had +told me, and I myself believed it, that if I were known by any body +in Berlin, it must be the brothers Grimm. I therefore sought out their +residence. The servant-maid asked me with which of the brothers I wished +to speak. + +"With the one who has written the most," said I, because I did not know, +at that time, which of them had most interested himself in the M rchen. + +"Jacob is the most learned," said the maidservant. + +"Well, then, take me to him." + +I entered the room, and Jacob Grimm, with his knowing and +strongly-marked countenance, stood before me. + +"I come to you," said I, "without letters of introduction, because I +hope that my name is not wholly unknown to you." + +"Who are you?" asked he. + +I told him, and Jacob Grimm said, in a half-embarrassed voice, "I do not +remember to have heard this name; what have you written?" + +It was now my turn to be embarrassed in a high degree: but I now +mentioned my little stories. + +"I do not know them," said he; "but mention to me some other of your +writings, because I certainly must have heard them spoken of." + +I named the titles of several; but he shook his head. I felt myself +quite unlucky. + +"But what must you think of me," said I, "that I come to you as a total +stranger, and enumerate myself what I have written: you must know me! +There has been published in Denmark a collection of the M rchen of all +nations, which is dedicated to you, and in it there is at least one +story of mine." + +"No," said he good-humoredly, but as much embarrassed as myself; "I have +not read even that, but it delights me to make your acquaintance; allow +me to conduct you to my brother Wilhelm?" + +"No, I thank you," said I, only wishing now to get away; I had fared +badly enough with one brother. I pressed his hand and hurried from the +house. + +That same month Jacob Grimm went to Copenhagen; immediately on his +arrival, and while yet in his travelling dress, did the amiable kind man +hasten up to me. He now knew me, and he came to me with cordiality. I +was just then standing and packing my clothes in a trunk for a journey +to the country; I had only a few minutes time: by this means my +reception of him was just as laconic as had been his of me in Berlin. + +Now, however, we met in Berlin as old acquaintance. Jacob Grimm is one +of those characters whom one must love and attach oneself to. + +One evening, as I was reading one of my little stories at the Countess +Bismark-Bohlen's, there was in the little circle one person in +particular who listened with evident fellowship of feeling, and +who expressed himself in a peculiar and sensible manner on the +subject,--this was Jacob's brother, Wilhelm Grimm. + +"I should have known you very well, if you had come to me," said he, +"the last time you were here." + +I saw these two highly-gifted and amiable brothers almost daily; the +circles into which I was invited seemed also to be theirs, and it was my +desire and pleasure that they should listen to my little stories, that +they should participate in them, they whose names will be always spoken +as long as the German _Volks M rchen_ are read. + +The fact of my not being known to Jacob Grimm on my first visit to +Berlin, had so disconcerted me, that when any one asked me whether I had +been well received in this city, I shook my head doubtfully and said, +"but Grimm did not know me." + +I was told that Tieck was ill--could see no one; I therefore only +sent in my card. Some days afterwards I met at a friend's house, where +Rauch's birth-day was being celebrated, Tieck, the sculptor, who told me +that his brother had lately waited two hours for me at dinner. I went +to him and discovered that he had sent me an invitation, which, however, +had been taken to a wrong inn. A fresh invitation was given, and I +passed some delightfully cheerful hours with Raumer the historian, and +with the widow and daughter of Steffens. There is a music in Tieck's +voice, a spirituality in his intelligent eyes, which age cannot lessen, +but, on the contrary, must increase. The Elves, perhaps the most +beautiful story which has been conceived in our time, would alone be +sufficient, had Tieck written nothing else, to make his name immortal. +As the author of _M rchen_, I bow myself before him, the elder and The +master, and who was the first German poet, who many years before pressed +me to his breast, as if it were to consecrate me, to walk in the same +path with himself. + +The old friends had all to be visited; but the number of new ones grew +with each day. One invitation followed another. It required considerable +physical power to support so much good-will. I remained in Berlin +about three weeks, and the time seemed to pass more rapidly with each +succeeding day. I was, as it were, overcome by kindness. I, at +length, had no other prospect for repose than to seat myself in a +railway-carriage, and fly away out of the country. + +And yet amid these social festivities, with all the amiable zeal and +interest that then was felt for me, I had one disengaged evening; one +evening on which I suddenly felt solitude in its most oppressive form; +Christmas-eve, that very evening of all others on which I would +most willingly witness something festal, willingly stand beside a +Christmas-tree, gladdening myself with the joy of children, and seeing +the parents joyfully become children again. Every one of the many +families in which I in truth felt that I was received as a relation, had +fancied, as I afterwards discovered, that I must be invited out; but +I sat quite alone in my room at the inn, and thought on home. I seated +myself at the open window, and gazed up to the starry heavens, which was +the Christmas-tree that was lighted for me. + +"Father in Heaven," I prayed, as the children do, "what dost thou give +to me!" + +When the friends heard of my solitary Christmas night, there were on the +following evening many Christmas-trees lighted, and on the last evening +in the year, there was planted for me alone, a little tree with its +lights, and its beautiful presents--and that was by Jenny Lind. The +whole company consisted of herself, her attendant, and me; we three +children from the north were together on Sylvester-eve, and I was the +child for which the Christmas-tree was lighted. She rejoiced with the +feeling of a sister in my good fortune in Berlin; and I felt almost +pride in the sympathy of such a pure, noble, and womanly being. +Everywhere her praise resounded, not merely as a singer, but also as a +woman; the two combined awoke a real enthusiasm for her. + +It does one good both in mind and heart to see that which is glorious +understood and beloved. In one little anecdote contributing to her +triumph I was myself made the confidant. + +One morning as I looked out of my window _unter den Linden_, I saw a man +under one of the trees, half hidden, and shabbily dressed, who took a +comb out of his pocket, smoothed his hair, set his neckerchief straight, +and brushed his coat with his hand; I understood that bashful poverty +which feels depressed by its shabby dress. A moment after this, there +was a knock at my door, and this same man entered. It was W----, the +poet of nature, who is only a poor tailor, but who has a truly poetical +mind. Rellstab and others in Berlin have mentioned him with honor; there +is something healthy in his poems, among which several of a sincerely +religious character may be found. He had read that I was in Berlin, and +wished now to visit me. We sat together on the sofa and conversed: there +was such an amiable contentedness, such an unspoiled and good tone of +mind about him, that I was sorry not to be rich in order that I might do +something for him. I was ashamed of offering him the little that I could +give; in any case I wished to put it in as agreeable a form as I could. +I asked him whether I might invite him to hear Jenny Lind. + +"I have already heard her," said he smiling; "I had, it is true, no +money to buy a ticket; but I went to the leader of the supernumeraries, +and asked whether I might not act as a supernumerary for one evening in +Norma: I was accepted and habited as a Roman soldier, with a long sword +by my side, and thus got to the theatre, where I could hear her better +than any body else, for I stood close to her. Ah, how she sung, how she +played! I could not help crying; but they were angry at that: the leader +forbade and would not let me again make my appearance, because no one +must weep on the stage." + +With the exception of the theatre, I had very little time to visit +collections of any kind or institutions of art. The able and amiable +Olfers, however, the Director of the Museum, enabled me to pay a rapid +but extremely interesting visit to that institution. Olfers himself +was my conductor; we delayed our steps only for the most interesting +objects, and there are here not a few of these; his remarks threw light +upon my mind,--for this therefore I am infinitely obliged to him. + +I had the happiness of visiting the Princess of Prussia many times; the +wing of the castle in which she resided was so comfortable, and yet like +a fairy palace. The blooming winter-garden, where the fountain splashed +among the moss at the foot of the statue, was close beside the room in +which the kind-hearted children smiled with their soft blue eyes. On +taking leave she honored me with a richly bound album, in which, beneath +the picture of the palace, she wrote her name. I shall guard this volume +as a treasure of the soul; it is not the gift which has a value only, +but also the manner in which it is given. One forenoon I read to her +several of my little stories, and her noble husband listened kindly: +Prince P ckler-Muskau also was present. + +A few days after my arrival in Berlin, I had the honor to be invited to +the royal table. As I was better acquainted with Humboldt than any one +there, and he it was who had particularly interested himself about me, I +took my place at his side. Not only on account of his high intellectual +character, and his amiable and polite behavior, but also from his +infinite kindness towards me, during the whole of my residence in +Berlin, is he become unchangeably dear to me. + +The King received me most graciously, and said that during his stay +in Copenhagen he had inquired after me, and had heard that I was +travelling. He expressed a great interest in my novel of Only a Fiddler; +her Majesty the Queen also showed herself graciously and kindly disposed +towards me. I had afterwards the happiness of being invited to spend +an evening at the palace at Potsdam; an evening which is full of rich +remembrance and never to be forgotten! Besides the ladies and gentlemen +in waiting, Humboldt and myself were only invited. A seat was assigned +to me at the table of their Majesties, exactly the place, said the +Queen, where Oehlenschl ger had sat and read his tragedy of Dina. I read +four little stories, the Fir-Tree, the Ugly Duckling, the Ball and +the Top, and The Swineherd. The King listened with great interest, and +expressed himself most wittily on the subject. He said, how beautiful he +thought the natural scenery of Denmark, and how excellently he had seen +one of Holberg's comedies performed. + +It was so deliciously pleasant in the royal apartment,--gentle eyes were +gazing at me, and I felt that they all wished me well. When at night I +was alone in my chamber, my thoughts were so occupied with this evening, +and my mind in such a state of excitement, that I could not sleep. +Everything seemed to me like a fairy tale. Through the whole night the +chimes sounded in the tower, and the aerial music mingled itself with my +thoughts. + +I received still one more proof of the favor and kindness of the King +of Prussia towards me, on the evening before my departure from the city. +The order of the Red Eagle, of the third class, was conferred upon me. +Such a mark of honor delights certainly every one who receives it. +I confess candidly that I felt myself honored in a high degree. +I discerned in it an evident token of the kindness of the noble, +enlightened King towards me: my heart is filled with gratitude. I +received this mark of honor exactly on the birth-day of my benefactor +Collin, the 6th of January; this day has now a twofold festal +significance for me. May God fill with gladness the mind of the royal +donor who wished to give me pleasure! + +The last evening was spent in a warm-hearted circle, for the greater +part, of young people. My health was drunk; a poem, Der M rchenk÷nig, +declaimed. It was not until late in the night that I reached home, that +I might set off early in the morning by railroad. + +I have here given in part a proof of the favor and kindness which +was shown to me in Berlin: I feel like some one who has received a +considerable sum for a certain object from a large assembly, and now +would give an account thereof. I might still add many other names, as +well from the learned world, as Theodor, M gge, Geibel, H ring, etc., +as from the social circle;--the reckoning is too large. God give me +strength for that which I now have to perform, after I have, as an +earnest of good will, received such a richly abundant sum. + +After a journey of a day and night I was once more in Weimar, with my +noble Hereditary Grand Duke. What a cordial reception! A heart rich in +goodness, and a mind full of noble endeavors, live in this young prince. +I have no words for the infinite favor, which, during my residence here, +I received daily from the family of the Grand Duke, but my whole heart +is full of devotion. At the court festival, as well as in the familiar +family circle, I had many evidences of the esteem in which I was held. +Beaulieu cared for me with the tenderness of a brother. It was to me +a month-long Sabbath festival. Never shall I forget the quiet evenings +spent with him, when friend spoke freely to friend. + +My old friends were also unchanged; the wise and able Sch÷ll, as well as +Schober, joined them also. Jenny Lind came to Weimar; I heard her at the +court concerts and at the theatre; I visited with her the places which +are become sacred through Goethe and Schiller: we stood together beside +their coffins, where Chancellor von Muller led us. The Austrian poet, +Rollet, who met us here for the first time, wrote on this subject a +sweet poem, which will serve me as a visible remembrance of this hour +and this place. People lay lovely flowers in their books, and as such, I +lay in here this verse of his:-- + +Weimar, 29th January, 1846. + + M rchen rose, which has so often + Charmed me with thy fragrant breath; + Where the prince, the poets slumber, + Thou hast wreathed the hall of death. + + And with thee beside each coffin, + In the death-hushed chamber pale, + I beheld a grief-enchanted, + Sweetly dreaming nightingale. + + I rejoiced amid the stillness; + Gladness through my bosom past, + That the gloomy poets' coffins + Such a magic crowned at last. + + And thy rose's summer fragrance + Floated round that chamber pale, + With the gentle melancholy + Of the grief-hushed nightingale. + +It was in the evening circle of the intellectual Froriep that I met, for +the first time, with Auerbach, who then chanced to be staying in Weimar. +His "Village Tales" interested me in the highest degree; I regard them +as the most poetical, most healthy, and joyous production of the young +German literature. He himself made the same agreeable impression +upon me; there is something so frank and straightforward, and yet so +sagacious, in his whole appearance, I might almost say, that he looks +himself like a village tale, healthy to the core, body and soul, and his +eyes beaming with honesty. We soon became friends--and I hope forever. + +My stay in Weimar was prolonged; it became ever more difficult to tear +myself away. The Grand Duke's birth-day occurred at this time, and after +attending all the festivities to which I was invited, I departed. I +would and must be in Rome at Easter. Once more in the early morning, I +saw the Hereditary Grand Duke, and, with a heart full of emotion, bade +him farewell. Never, in presence of the world, will I forget the high +position which his birth gives him, but I may say, as the very poorest +subject may say of a prince, I love him as one who is dearest to my +heart. God give him joy and bless him in his noble endeavors! A generous +heart beats beneath the princely star. + +Beaulieu accompanied me to Jena. Here a hospitable home awaited me, and +filled with beautiful memories from the time of Goethe, the house of the +publisher Frommann. It was his kind, warm-hearted sister, who had shown +me such sympathy in Berlin; the brother was not here less kind. + +The Holstener Michelsen, who has a professorship at Jena, assembled a +number of friends one evening, and in a graceful and cordial toast for +me, expressed his sense of the importance of Danish literature, and the +healthy and natural spirit which flourished in it. + +In Michelsen's house I also became acquainted with Professor Hase, who, +one evening having heard some of my little stories, seemed filled with +great kindness towards me. What he wrote in this moment of interest on +an album leaf expresses this sentiment: + +"Schelling--not he who now lives in Berlin, but he who lives an immortal +hero in the world of mind--once said: 'Nature is the visible spirit.' +This spirit, this unseen nature, last evening was again rendered visible +to me through your little tales. If on the one hand you penetrate deeply +into the mysteries of nature; know and understand the language of birds, +and what are the feelings of a fir-tree or a daisy, so that each seems +to be there on its own account, and we and our children sympathize with +them in their joys and sorrows; yet, on the other hand, all is but the +image of mind; and the human heart in its infinity, trembles and throbs +throughout. May this fountain in the poet's heart, which God has lent +you, still for a time pour forth this refreshingly, and may these +stories in the memories of the Germanic nations, become the legends of +the people!" That object, for which as a writer of poetical fictions, I +must strive after, is contained in these last lines. + +It is also to Hase and the gifted improvisatore, Professor Wolff of +Jena, to whom I am most indebted for the appearance of a uniform German +edition of my writings. + +This was all arranged on my arrival at Leipzig: several hours of +business were added to my traveller's mode of life. The city of +bookselling presented me with her bouquet, a sum of money; but she +presented me with even more. I met again with Brockhaus, and passed +happy hours with Mendelssohn, that glorious man of genius. I heard +him play again and again; it seemed to me that his eyes, full of soul, +looked into the very depths of my being. Few men have more the stamp +of the inward fire than he. A gentle, friendly wife, and beautiful +children, make his rich, well-appointed house, blessed and pleasant. +When he rallied me about the Stork, and its frequent appearance in my +writings, there was something so childlike and amiable revealed in this +great artist! + +I also met again my excellent countryman Gade, whose compositions have +been so well received in Germany. I took him the text for a new opera +which I had written, and which I hope to see brought out on the German +stage. Gade had written the music to my drama of Agnete and the Merman, +compositions which were very successful. Auerbach, whom I again found +here, introduced me to many agreeable circles. I met with the composer +Kalliwoda, and with K hne, whose charming little son immediately won my +heart. + +On my arrival at Dresden I instantly hastened to my motherly friend, +the Baroness von Decken. That was a joyous hearty welcome! One equally +cordial I met with from Dahl. I saw once more my Roman friend, the +poet with word and color, Reineck, and met the kind-hearted Bendemann. +Professor Grahl painted me. I missed, however, one among my olden +friends, the poet Brunnow. With life and cordiality he received me the +last time in his room, where stood lovely flowers; now these grew over +his grave. It awakens a peculiar feeling, thus for once to meet on +the journey of life, to understand and love each other, and then to +part--until the journey for both is ended. + +I spent, to me, a highly interesting evening, with the royal family, who +received me with extraordinary favor. Here also the most happy domestic +life appeared to reign--a number of amiable children, all belonging to +Prince Johann, were present. The least of the Princesses, a little girl, +who knew that I had written the history of the Fir-tree, began very +confidentially with--"Last Christmas we also had a Fir-tree, and it +stood here in this room!" Afterwards, when she was led out before the +other children, and had bade her parents and the King and Queen good +night, she turned round at the half-closed door, and nodding to me in a +friendly and familiar manner, said I was her Fairy-tale Prince. + +My story of Holger Danske led the conversation to the rich stores of +legends which the north possesses. I related several, and explained the +peculiar spirit of the fine scenery of Denmark. Neither in this royal +palace did I feel the weight of ceremony; soft, gentle eyes shone +upon me. My last morning in Dresden was spent with the Minister von +K÷nneritz, where I equally met with the most friendly reception. + +The sun shone warm: it was spring who was celebrating her arrival, as +I rolled out of the dear city. Thought assembled in one amount all the +many who had rendered my visits so rich and happy: it was spring around +me, and spring in my heart. + +In Prague I had only one acquaintance, Professor Wiesenfeldt. But a +letter from Dr. Carus in Dresden opened to me the hospitable house of +Count Thun. The Archduke Stephan received me also in the most gracious +manner; I found in him a young man full of intellect and heart. +Besides it was a very interesting point of time when I left Prague. The +military, who had been stationed there a number of years, were hastening +to the railway, to leave for Poland, where disturbances had broken out. +The whole city seemed in movement to take leave of its military friends; +it was difficult to get through the streets which led to the railway. +Many thousand soldiers were to be accommodated; at length the train was +set in motion. All around the whole hill-side was covered with people; +it looked like the richest Turkey carpet woven of men, women and +children, all pressed together, head to head, and waving hats and +handkerchiefs. Such a mass of human beings I never saw before, or at +least, never at one moment surveyed them: such a spectacle could not be +painted. + +We travelled the whole night through wide Bohemia: at every town stood +groups of people; it was as though all the inhabitants had assembled +themselves. Their brown faces, their ragged clothes, the light of their +torches, their, to me, unintelligible language, gave to the whole a +stamp of singularity. We flew through tunnel and over viaduct; the +windows rattled, the signal whistle sounded, the steam horses snorted--I +laid back my head at last in the carriage, and fell asleep under the +protection of the god Morpheus. + +At Olm tz, where we had fresh carnages, a voice spoke my name--it was +Walter Goethe! We had travelled together the whole night without knowing +it. In Vienna we met often. Noble powers, true genius, live in Goethe's +grandsons, in the composer as well as in the poet; but it is as if the +greatness of their grandfather pressed upon them. Liszt was in Vienna, +and invited me to his concert, in which otherwise it would have been +impossible to find a place. I again heard his improvising of Robert! I +again heard him, like a spirit of the storm, play with the chords: he +is an enchanter of sounds who fills the imagination with astonishment. +Ernst also was here; when I visited him he seized the violin, and this +sang in tears the secret of a human heart. + +I saw the amiable Grillparzer again, and was frequently with the kindly +Castelli, who just at this time had been made by the King of Denmark +Knight of the Danebrog Order. He was full of joy at this, and begged me +to tell my countrymen that every Dane should receive a hearty welcome +from him. Some future summer he invited me to visit his grand country +seat. There is something in Castelli so open and honorable, mingled with +such good-natured humor, that one must like him: he appears to me the +picture of a thorough Viennese. Under his portrait, which he gave me, he +wrote the following little improvised verse in the style so peculiarly +his own: + + This portrait shall ever with loving eyes greet thee, + From far shall recall the smile of thy friend; + For thou, dearest Dane, 'tis a pleasure to meet thee, + Thou art one to be loved and esteemed to the end. + +Castelli introduced me to Seidl and Bauernfeld. At the Danisti +ambassador's, Baron von L÷wenstern, I met Zedlitz. Most of the shining +stars of Austrian literature I saw glide past me, as people on a railway +see church towers; you can still say you have seen them; and still +retaining the simile of the stars, I can say, that in the Concordia +Society I saw the entire galaxy. Here was a host of young growing +intellects, and here were men of importance. At the house of Count +Szechenye, who hospitably invited me, I saw his brother from Pest, whose +noble activity in Hungary is known. This short meeting I account one +of the most interesting events of my stay in Vienna; the man revealed +himself in all his individuality, and his eye said that you must feel +confidence in him. + +At my departure from Dresden her Majesty the Queen of Saxony had asked +me whether I had introductions to any one at the Court of Vienna, and +when I told her that I had not, the Queen was so gracious as to write +a letter to her sister, the Archduchess Sophia of Austria. Her imperial +Highness summoned me one evening, and received me in the most gracious +manner. The dowager Empress, the widow of the Emperor Francis I., was +present, and full of kindness and friendship towards me; also Prince +Wasa, and the hereditary Archduchess of Hesse-Darmstadt. The remembrance +of this evening will always remain dear and interesting to me. I read +several of my little stories aloud--when I wrote them, I thought least +of all that I should some day read them aloud in the imperial palace. + +Before my departure I had still another visit to make, and this was to +the intellectual authoress, Frau von Weissenthurn. She had just left a +bed of sickness and was still suffering, but wished to see me. As though +she were already standing on the threshold of the realm of shades, she +pressed my hand and said this was the last time we should ever see each +other. With a soft motherly gaze she looked at me, and at parting her +penetrating eye followed me to the door. + +With railway and diligence my route now led towards Triest. With steam +the long train of carriages flies along the narrow rocky way, following +all the windings of the river. One wonders that with all these abrupt +turnings one is not dashed against the rock, or flung down into the +roaring stream, and is glad when the journey is happily accomplished. +But in the slow diligence one wishes its more rapid journey might +recommence, and praise the powers of the age. + +At length Triest and the Adriatic sea lay before us; the Italian +language sounded in our ears, but yet for me it was not Italy, the land +of my desire. Meanwhile I was only a stranger here for a few hours; our +Danish consul, as well as the consuls of Prussia and Oldenburg, to whom +I was recommended, received me in the best possible manner. Several +interesting acquaintances were made, especially with the Counts +O'Donnell and Waldstein, the latter for me as a Dane having a peculiar +interest, as being the descendant of that unfortunate Confitz Ulfeld +and the daughter of Christian IV., Eleanore, the noblest of all Danish +women. Their portraits hung in his room, and Danish memorials of that +period were shown me. It was the first time I had ever seen Eleanore +Ulfeld's portrait, and the melancholy smile on her lips seemed to say, +"Poet, sing and free from chains which a hard age had cast upon him, +for whom to live and to suffer was my happiness!" Before Oehlenschl ger +wrote his Dina, which treats of an episode in Ulfeld's life, I was at +work on this subject, and wished to bring it on the stage, but it was +then feared this would not be allowed, and I gave it up--since then I +have only written four lines on Ulfeld:-- + + Thy virtue was concealed, not so thy failings, + Thus did the world thy greatness never know, + Yet still love's glorious monument proclaims it, + That the best wife from thee would never go. + +On the Adriatic sea I, in thought, was carried back to Ulfeld's time and +the Danish islands. This meeting with Count Waldstein and his ancestor's +portrait brought me back to my poet's world, and I almost forgot that +the following day I could be in the middle of Italy. In beautiful mild +weather I went with the steam-boat to Ancona. + +It was a quiet starlight night, too beautiful to be spent in sleep. In +the early morning the coast of Italy lay before us, the beautiful blue +mountains with glittering snow. The sun shone warmly, the grass and the +trees were so splendidly green. Last evening in Trieste, now in Ancona, +in a city of the papal states,--that was almost like enchantment! Italy +in all its picturesque splendor lay once more before me; spring had +ripened all the fruit trees so that they had burst forth into blossom; +every blade of grass in the field was filled with sunshine, the elm +trees stood like caryatides enwreathed with vines, which shot forth +green leaves, and above the luxuriance of foliage rose the wavelike +blue mountains with their snow covering. In company with Count Paar from +Vienna, the most excellent travelling companion, and a young nobleman +from Hungary, I now travelled on with a vetturino for five days: +solitary, and more picturesque than habitable inns among the +Apennines were our night's quarters. At length the Campagna, with its +thought-awakening desolation, lay before us. + +It was the 31st of March, 1846, when I again saw Rome, and for the third +time in my life should reach this city of the world. I felt so happy, +so penetrated with thankfulness and joy; how much more God had given me +than a thousand others--nay, than to many thousands! And even in this +very feeling there is a blessing--where joy is very great, as in +the deepest grief, there is only God on whom one can lean! The first +impression was--I can find no other word for it--adoration. When day +unrolled for me my beloved Rome, I felt what I cannot express more +briefly or better than I did in a letter to a friend: "I am growing here +into the very ruins, I live with the petrified gods, and the roses are +always blooming, and the church bells ringing--and yet Rome is not +the Rome it was thirteen years ago when I first was here. It is as if +everything were modernized, the ruins even, grass and bushes are cleared +away. Everything is made so neat; the very life of the people seems to +have retired; I no longer hear the tamborines in the streets, no longer +see the young girls dancing their Saltarella, even in the Campagna +intelligence has entered by invisible railroads; the peasant no longer +believes as he used to do. At the Easter festival I saw great numbers of +the people from the Campagna standing before St. Peters whilst the +Pope distributed his blessing, just as though they had been Protestant +strangers. This was repulsive to my feelings, I felt an impulse to kneel +before the invisible saint. When I was here thirteen years ago, all +knelt; now reason had conquered faith. Ten years later, when the +railways will have brought cities still nearer to each other, Rome will +be yet more changed. But in all that happens, everything is for the +best; one always must love Rome; it is like a story book, one is always +discovering new wonders, and one lives in imagination and reality." + +The first time I travelled to Italy I had no eyes for sculpture; in +Paris the rich pictures drew me away from the statues; for the first +time when I came to Florence and stood before the Venus de Medicis, I +felt as Thorwaldsen expressed, "the snow melted away from my eyes;" and +a new world of art rose before me. And now at my third sojourn in Rome, +after repeated wanderings through the Vatican, I prize the statues far +higher than the paintings. But at what other places as at Rome, and to +some degree in Naples, does this art step forth so grandly into life! +One is carried away by it, one learns to admire nature in the work of +art, the beauty of form becomes spiritual. + +Among the many clever and beautiful things which I saw exhibited in the +studios of the young artists, two pieces of sculpture were what most +deeply impressed themselves on my memory; and these were in the studio +of my countryman Jerichau. I saw his group of Hercules and Hebe, which +had been spoken of with such enthusiasm in the Allgemeine Zeitung and +other German papers, and which, through its antique repose, and its +glorious beauty, powerfully seized upon me. My imagination was filled +by it, and yet I must place Jerichau's later group, the Fighting Hunter, +still higher. It is formed after the model, as though it had sprung from +nature. There lies in it a truth, a beauty, and a grandeur which I am +convinced will make his name resound through many lands! + +I have known him from the time when he was almost a boy. We were both of +us born on the same island: he is from the little town of Assens. We met +in Copenhagen. No one, not even he himself, knew what lay within him; +and half in jest, half in earnest, he spoke of the combat with himself +whether he should go to America and become a savage, or to Rome and +become an artist--painter or sculptor; that he did not yet know. His +pencil was meanwhile thrown away: he modelled in clay, and my bust was +the first which he made. He received no travelling stipendium from +the Academy. As far as I know, it was a noble-minded woman, an artist +herself, unprovided with means, who, from the interest she felt for the +spark of genius she observed in him, assisted him so far that he reached +Italy by means of a trading vessel. In the beginning he worked in +Thorwaldsen's atelier. During a journey of several years, he has +doubtless experienced the struggles of genius and the galling fetters of +want; but now the star of fortune shines upon him. When I came to Rome, +I found him physically suffering and melancholy. He was unable to bear +the warm summers of Italy; and many people said he could not recover +unless he visited the north, breathed the cooler air, and took +sea-baths. His praises resounded through the papers, glorious works +stood in his atelier; but man does not live on heavenly bread alone. +There came one day a Russian Prince, I believe, and he gave a commission +for the Hunter. Two other commissions followed on the same day. +Jerichau came full of rejoicing and told this to me. A few days after +he travelled with his wife, a highly gifted painter, to Denmark, from +whence, strengthened body and soul, he returned, with the winter, to +Rome, where the strokes of his chisel will resound so that, I hope, the +world will hear them. My heart will beat joyfully with them! + +I also met in Rome, Kolberg, another Danish sculptor, until now only +known in Denmark, but there very highly thought of, a scholar of +Thorwaldsen's and a favorite of that great master. He honored me by +making my bust. I also sat once more with the kindly K chler, and saw +the forms fresh as nature spread themselves over the canvas. + +I sat once again with the Roman people in the amusing puppet theatre, +and heard the children's merriment. Among the German artists, as well as +among the Swedes and my own countrymen, I met with a hearty reception. +My birth-day was joyfully celebrated. Frau von Goethe, who was in +Rome, and who chanced to be living in the very house where I brought +my Improvisatore into the world, and made him spend his first years of +childhood, sent me from thence a large, true Roman bouquet, a fragrant +mosaic. The Swedish painter, S÷dermark, proposed my health to the +company whom the Danes, Swedes, and Norwegians had invited me to meet. +From my friends I received some pretty pictures and friendly keepsakes. + +The Hanoverian minister, K stner, to whose friendship I am indebted +for many pleasant hours, is an extremely agreeable man, possessed of no +small talent for poetry, music, and painting. At his house I really saw +for the first time flower-painting elevated by a poetical idea. In one +of his rooms he has introduced an arabesque of flowers which presents +us with the flora of the whole year. It commences with the first spring +flowers, the crocus, the snow drop, and so on; then come the summer +flowers, then the autumn, and at length the garland ends with the red +berries and yellow-brown leaves of December. + +Constantly in motion, always striving to employ every moment and to see +everything, I felt myself at last very much affected by the unceasing +sirocco. The Roman air did not agree with me, and I hastened, therefore, +as soon as I had seen the illumination of the dome and the _girandola_, +immediately after the Easter festival, through Terracina to Naples. +Count Paar travelled with me. We entered St. Lucia: the sea lay before +us; Vesuvius blazed. Those were glorious evenings! moonlight nights! It +was as if the heavens had elevated themselves above and the stars were +withdrawn. What effect of light! In the north the moon scatters silver +over the water: here it was gold. The circulating lanterns of the +lighthouse now exhibited their dazzling light, now were totally +extinguished. The torches of the fishing-boats threw their +obelisk-formed blaze along the surface of the water, or else the boat +concealed them like a black shadow, below which the surface of the water +was illuminated. One fancied one could see to the bottom, where fishes +and plants were in motion. Along the street itself thousands of lights +were burning in the shops of the dealers in fruit and fish. Now came a +troop of children with lights, and went in procession to the church of +St. Lucia. Many fell down with their lights; but above the whole stood, +like the hero of this great drama of light, Vesuvius with his blood-red +flame and his illumined cloud of smoke. + +I visited the islands of Capri and Ischia once more; and, as the heat +of the sun and the strong sirocco made a longer residence in Naples +oppressive to me, I went to Sarrento, Tasso's city, where the foliage of +the vine cast a shade, and where the air appears to me lighter. Here I +wrote these pages. In Rome, by the bay of Naples and amid the Pyrenees, +I put on paper the story of my life. + +The well-known festival of the Madonna dell' Arco called me again to +Naples, where I took up my quarters at an hotel in the middle of the +city, near the Toledo Street, and found an excellent host and hostess. +I had already resided here, but only in the winter. I had now to see +Naples in its summer heat and with all its wild tumult, but in what +degree I had never imagined. The sun shone down with its burning heat +into the narrow streets, in at the balcony door. It was necessary to +shut up every place: not a breath of air stirred. Every little corner, +every spot in the street on which a shadow fell was crowded with working +handicraftsmen, who chattered loudly and merrily; the carriages rolled +past; the drivers screamed; the tumult of the people roared like a sea +in the other streets; the church bells sounded every minute; my opposite +neighbor, God knows who he was, played the musical scale from morning +till evening. It was enough to make one lose one's senses! + +The sirocco blew its boiling-hot breath and I was perfectly overcome. +There was not another room to be had at St. Lucia, and the sea-bathing +seemed rather to weaken than to invigorate me. I went therefore again +into the country; but the sun burned there with the same beams; yet +still the air there was more elastic, yet for all that it was to me +like the poisoned mantle of Hercules, which, as it were, drew out of me +strength and spirit. I, who had fancied that I must be precisely a child +of the sun, so firmly did my heart always cling to the south, was forced +to acknowledge that the snow of the north was in my body, that the snow +melted, and that I was more and more miserable. + +Most strangers felt as I myself did in this, as the Neapolitans +themselves said, unusually hot summer; the greater number went away. I +also would have done the same, but I was obliged to wait several days +for a letter of credit; it had arrived at the right time, but lay +forgotten in the hands of my banker. Yet there was a deal for me to see +in Naples; many houses were open to me. I tried whether the will were +not stronger than the Neapolitan heat, but I fell into such a nervous +state in consequence, that till the time of my departure I was obliged +to lie quietly in my hot room, where the night brought no coolness. From +the morning twilight to midnight roared the noise of bells, the cry +of the people, the trampling of horses on the stone pavement, and the +before-mentioned practiser of the scale--it was like being on the rack; +and this caused me to give up my journey to Spain, especially as I was +assured, for my consolation, that I should find it just as warm there as +here. The physician said that, at this season of the year, I could not +sustain the journey. + +I took a berth in the steam-boat Castor for Marseilles; the vessel was +full to overflowing with passengers; the whole quarter-deck, even the +best place, was occupied by travelling carriages; under one of these I +had my bed laid; many people followed my example, and the quarter-deck +was soon covered with mattresses and carpets. It blew strongly; the wind +increased, and in the second and third night raged to a perfect storm; +the ship rolled from side to side like a cask in the open sea; the waves +dashed on the ship's side and lifted up their broad heads above the +bulwarks as if they would look in upon us. It was as if the carriages +under which we lay would crush us to pieces, or else would be washed +away by the sea. There was a lamentation, but I lay quiet, looked up at +the driving clouds, and thought upon God and my beloved. When at length +we reached Genoa most of the passengers went on land: I should have been +willing enough to have followed their example, that I might go by Milan +to Switzerland, but my letter of credit was drawn upon Marseilles and +some Spanish sea-ports. I was obliged to go again on board. The sea was +calm; the air fresh; it was the most glorious voyage along the charming +Sardinian coast. Full of strength and new life I arrived at Marseilles, +and, as I here breathed more easily, my longing to see Spain was again +renewed. I had laid the plan of seeing this country last, as the bouquet +of my journey. In the suffering state in which I had been I was obliged +to give it up, but I was now better. I regarded it therefore as a +pointing of the finger of heaven that I should be compelled to go to +Marseilles, and determined to venture upon the journey. The steam-vessel +to Barcelona had, in the meantime, just sailed, and several days must +pass before another set out. I determined therefore to travel by short +days' journeys through the south of France across the Pyrenees. + +Before leaving Marseilles, chance favored me with a short meeting with +one of my friends from the North, and this was Ole Bull! He came from +America, and was received in France with jubilees and serenades, of +which I was myself a witness. At the _table d'h te_ in the _H tel des +Empereurs_, where we both lodged, we flew towards each other. He told +me what I should have expected least of all, that my works had also many +friends in America, that people had inquired from him about me with the +greatest interest, and that the English translations of my romances had +been reprinted, and spread through the whole country in cheap editions. +My name flown over the great ocean! I felt myself at this thought quite +insignificant, but yet glad and happy; wherefore should I, in preference +to so many thousand others, receive such happiness? + +I had and still have a feeling as though I were a poor peasant lad over +whom a royal mantle is thrown. Yet I was and am made happy by all this! +Is _this_ vanity, or does it show itself in these expressions of my joy? + +Ole Bull went to Algiers, I towards the Pyrenees. Through Provence, +which looked to me quite Danish, I reached Nismes, where the grandeur +of the splendid Roman amphitheatre at once carried me back to Italy. The +memorials of antiquity in the south of France I have never heard praised +as their greatness and number deserve; the so-called _Maison Quar e_ is +still standing in all its splendor, like the Theseus Temple at Athens: +Rome has nothing so well preserved. + +In Nismes dwells the baker Reboul, who writes the most charming +poems: whoever may not chance to know him from these is, however, well +acquainted with him through Lamartine's Journey to the East. I found him +at the house, stepped into the bakehouse, and addressed myself to a +man in shirt sleeves who was putting bread into the oven; it was Reboul +himself! A noble countenance which expressed a manly character greeted +me. When I mentioned my name, he was courteous enough to say he was +acquainted with it through the Revue de Paris, and begged me to visit +him in the afternoon, when he should be able to entertain me better. +When I came again I found him in a little room which might be called +almost elegant, adorned with pictures, casts and books, not alone French +literature, but translations of the Greek classics. A picture on the +wall represented his most celebrated poem, "The Dying Child," from +Marmier's _Chansons du Nord_. He knew I had treated the same subject, +and I told him that this was written in my school days. If in the +morning I had found him the industrious baker, he now was the poet +completely; he spoke with animation of the literature of his country, +and expressed a wish to see the north, the scenery and intellectual life +of which seemed to interest him. With great respect I took leave of a +man whom the Muses have not meanly endowed, and who yet has good sense +enough, spite of all the homage paid him, to remain steadfast to his +honest business, and prefer being the most remarkable baker of Nismes to +losing himself in Paris, after a short triumph, among hundreds of other +poets. + +By railway I now travelled by way of Montpelier to Cette, with that +rapidity which a train possesses in France; you fly there as though +for a wager with the wild huntsman. I involuntarily remembered that at +Basle, at the corner of a street where formerly the celebrated Dance +of Death was painted, there is written up in large letters "Dance of +Death," and on the opposite corner "Way to the Railroad." This singular +juxtaposition just at the frontiers of France, gives play to the fancy; +in this rushing flight it came into my thoughts; it seemed as though the +steam whistle gave the signal to the dance. On German railways one does +not have such wild fancies. + +The islander loves the sea as the mountaineer loves his mountains! + +Every sea-port town, however small it may be, receives in my eyes a +peculiar charm from the sea. Was it the sea, in connexion perhaps with +the Danish tongue, which sounded in my ears in two houses in Cette, that +made this town so homelike to me? I know not, but I felt more in Denmark +than in the south of France. When far from your country you enter a +house where all, from the master and mistress to the servants, speak +your own language, as was here the case, these home tones have a +real power of enchantment: like the mantle of Faust, in a moment they +transport you, house and all, into your own land. Here, however, there +was no northern summer, but the hot sun of Naples; it might even have +burnt Faust's cap. The sun's rays destroyed all strength. For many years +there had not been such a summer, even here; and from the country round +about arrived accounts of people who had died from the heat: the very +nights were hot. I was told beforehand I should be unable to bear the +journey in Spain. I felt this myself, but then Spain was to be the +bouquet of my journey. I already saw the Pyrenees; the blue mountains +enticed me--and one morning early I found myself on the steam-boat. The +sun rose higher; it burnt above, it burnt from the expanse of waters, +myriads of jelly-like medusas filled the river; it was as though the +sun's rays had changed the whole sea into a heaving world of animal +life; I had never before seen anything like it. In the Languedoc canal +we had all to get into a large boat which had been constructed more for +goods than for passengers. The deck was coveted with boxes and trunks, +and these again occupied by people who sought shade under umbrellas. +It was impossible to move; no railing surrounded this pile of boxes and +people, which was drawn along by three or four horses attached by long +ropes. Beneath in the cabins it was as crowded; people sat close to each +other, like flies in a cup of sugar. A lady who had fainted from the +heat and tobacco smoke, was carried in and laid upon the only unoccupied +spot on the floor; she was brought here for air, but here there was +none, spite of the number of fans in motion; there were no refreshments +to be had, not even a drink of water, except the warm, yellow water +which the canal afforded. Over the cabin windows hung booted legs, which +at the same time that they deprived the cabin of light, seemed to give a +substance to the oppressive air. Shut up in this place one had also the +torment of being forced to listen to a man who was always trying to say +something witty; the stream of words played about his lips as the canal +water about the boat. I made myself a way through boxes, people, and +umbrellas, and stood in a boiling hot air; on either side the prospect +was eternally the same, green grass, a green tree, flood-gates--green +grass, a green tree, flood-gates--and then again the same; it was enough +to drive one insane. + +At the distance of a half-hour's journey from Beziers we were put on +land; I felt almost ready to faint, and there was no carriage here, +for the omnibus had not expected us so early; the sun burnt infernally. +People say the south of France is a portion of Paradise; under the +present circumstances it seemed to me a portion of hell with all its +heat. In Beziers the diligence was waiting, but all the best places were +already taken; and I here for the first, and I hope for the last +time, got into the hinder part of such a conveyance. An ugly woman in +slippers, and with a head-dress a yard high, which she hung up, took her +seat beside me; and now came a singing sailor who had certainly drunk +too many healths; then a couple of dirty fellows, whose first manoeuvre +was to pull off their boots and coats and sit upon them, hot and dirty, +whilst the thick clouds of dust whirled into the vehicle, and the sun +burnt and blinded me. It was impossible to endure this farther than +Narbonne; sick and suffering, I sought rest, but then came gensdarmes +and demanded my passport, and then just as night began, a fire must +needs break out in the neighboring village; the fire alarm resounded, +the fire-engines rolled along, it was just as though all manner of +tormenting spirits were let loose. From here as far as the Pyrenees +there followed repeated demands for your passport, so wearisome that +you know nothing like it even in Italy: they gave you as a reason, the +nearness to the Spanish frontiers, the number of fugitives from thence, +and several murders which had taken place in the neighborhood: all +conduced to make the journey in my then state of health a real torment. + +I reached Perpignan. The sun had here also swept the streets of people, +it was only when night came that they came forth, but then it was like a +roaring stream, as though a real tumult were about to destroy the +town. The human crowd moved in waves beneath my windows, a loud shout +resounded; it pierced through my sick frame. What was that?--what did +it mean? "Good evening, Mr. Arago!" resounded from the strongest voices, +thousands repeated it, and music sounded; it was the celebrated +Arago, who was staying in the room next to mine: the people gave him a +serenade. Now this was the third I had witnessed on my journey. Arago +addressed them from the balcony, the shouts of the people filled the +streets. There are few evenings in my life when I have felt so ill as on +this one, the tumult went through my nerves; the beautiful singing which +followed could not refresh me. Ill as I was, I gave up every thought of +travelling into Spain; I felt it would be impossible for me. Ah, if I +could only recover strength enough to reach Switzerland! I was filled +with horror at the idea of the journey back. I was advised to hasten as +quickly as possible to the Pyrenees, and there breathe the strengthening +mountain air: the baths of Vernet were recommended as cool and +excellent, and I had a letter of introduction to the head of the +establishment there. After an exhausting journey of a night and some +hours in the morning, I have reached this place, from whence I sent +these last sheets. The air is so cool, so strengthening, such as I have +not breathed for months. A few days here have entirely restored me, my +pen flies again over the paper, and my thoughts towards that wonderful +Spain. I stand like Moses and see the land before me, yet may not tread +upon it. But if God so wills it, I will at some future time in the +winter fly from the north hither into this rich beautiful land, from +which the sun with his sword of flame now holds me back. + +Vernet as yet is not one of the well-known bathing places, although it +possesses the peculiarity of being visited all the year round. The most +celebrated visitor last winter was Ibrahim Pacha; his name still lives +on the lips of the hostess and waiter as the greatest glory of the +establishment; his rooms were shown first as a curiosity. Among the +anecdotes current about him is the story of his two French words, +_merci_ and _tr s bien_, which he pronounced in a perfectly wrong +manner. + +In every respect, Vernet among baths is as yet in a state of innocence; +it is only in point of great bills that the Commandant has been able to +raise it on a level with the first in Europe. As for the rest, you live +here in a solitude, and separated from the world as in no other bathing +place: for the amusement of the guests nothing in the least has been +done; this must be sought in wanderings on foot or on donkey-back among +the mountains; but here all is so peculiar and full of variety, that the +want of artificial pleasures is the less felt. It is here as though the +most opposite natural productions had been mingled together,--northern +and southern, mountain and valley vegetation. From one point you will +look over vineyards, and up to a mountain which appears a sample card +of corn fields and green meadows, where the hay stands in cocks; from +another you will only see the naked, metallic rocks with strange crags +jutting forth from them, long and narrow as though they were broken +statues or pillars; now you walk under poplar trees, through small +meadows, where the balm-mint grows, as thoroughly Danish a production +as though it were cut out of Zealand; now you stand under shelter of the +rock, where cypresses and figs spring forth among vine leaves, and see a +piece of Italy. But the soul of the whole, the pulses which beat audibly +in millions through the mountain chain, are the springs. There is +a life, a babbling in the ever-rushing waters! It springs forth +everywhere, murmurs in the moss, rushes over the great stones. There is +a movement, a life which it is impossible for words to give; you hear a +constant rushing chorus of a million strings; above and below you, and +all around, you hear the babbling of the river nymphs. + +High on the cliff, at the edge of a steep precipice, lie the remains of +a Moorish castle; the clouds hang where hung the balcony; the path along +which the ass now goes, leads through the hall. From here you can enjoy +the view over the whole valley, which, long and narrow, seems like a +river of trees, which winds among the red scorched rocks; and in the +middle of this green valley rises terrace-like on a hill, the little +town of Vernet, which only wants minarets to look like a Bulgarian town. +A miserable church with two long holes as windows, and close to it a +ruined tower, form the upper portion, then come the dark brown roofs, +and the dirty grey houses with opened shutters instead of windows--but +picturesque it certainly is. + +But if you enter the town itself--where the apothecary's shop is, is +also the bookseller's--poverty is the only impression. Almost all the +houses are built of unhewn stones, piled one upon another, and two or +three gloomy holes form door and windows through which the swallows +fly out and in. Wherever I entered, I saw through the worn floor of +the first story down into a chaotic gloom beneath. On the wall hangs +generally a bit of fat meat with the hairy skin attached; it was +explained to me that this was used to rub their shoes with. The +sleeping-room is painted in the most glaring manner with saints, angels, +garlands, and crowns _al fresco_, as if done when the art of painting +was in its greatest state of imperfection. + +The people are unusually ugly; the very children are real gnomes; the +expression of childhood does not soften the clumsy features. But a few +hours' journey on the other side of the mountains, on the Spanish side, +there blooms beauty, there flash merry brown eyes. The only poetical +picture I retain of Vernet was this. In the market-place, under a +splendidly large tree, a wandering pedlar had spread out all his +wares,--handkerchiefs, books and pictures,--a whole bazaar, but the +earth was his table; all the ugly children of the town, burnt through by +the sun, stood assembled round these splendid things; several old women +looked out from their open shops; on horses and asses the visitors to +the bath, ladies and gentlemen, rode by in long procession, whilst +two little children, half hid behind a heap of planks; played at being +cocks, and shouted all the time, "kekkeriki!" + +Far more of a town, habitable and well-appointed, is the garrison town +of Villefranche, with its castle of the age of Louis XIV., which lies a +few hours' journey from this place. The road by Olette to Spain passes +through it, and there is also some business; many houses attract your +eye by their beautiful Moorish windows carved in marble. The church +is built half in the Moorish style, the altars are such as are seen +in Spanish churches, and the Virgin stands there with the Child, all +dressed in gold and silver. I visited Villefranche one of the first +days of my sojourn here; all the visitors made the excursion with me, to +which end all the horses and asses far and near were brought together; +horses were put into the Commandant's venerable coach, and it was +occupied by people within and without, just as though it had been a +French public vehicle. A most amiable Holsteiner, the best rider of the +company, the well-known painter Dauzats, a friend of Alexander Dumas's, +led the train. The forts, the barracks, and the caves were seen; the +little town of Cornelia also, with its interesting church, was not +passed over. Everywhere were found traces of the power and art of the +Moors; everything in this neighborhood speaks more of Spain than France, +the very language wavers between the two. + +And here in this fresh mountain nature, on the frontiers of a land whose +beauty and defects I am not yet to become acquainted with, I will close +these pages, which will make in my life a frontier to coming years, +with their beauty and defects. Before I leave the Pyrenees these written +pages will fly to Germany, a great section of my life; I myself +shall follow, and a new and unknown section will begin.--What may it +unfold?--I know not, but thankfully, hopefully, I look forward. My whole +life, the bright as well as the gloomy days, led to the best. It is like +a voyage to some known point,--I stand at the rudder, I have chosen my +path,--but God rules the storm and the sea. He may direct it otherwise; +and then, happen what may, it will be the best for me. This faith is +firmly planted in my breast, and makes me happy. + +The story of my life, up to the present hour, lies unrolled before me, +so rich and beautiful that I could not have invented it. I feel that I +am a child of good fortune; almost every one meets me full of love and +candor, and seldom has my confidence in human nature been deceived. +From the prince to the poorest peasant I have felt the noble human heart +beat. It is a joy to live and to believe in God and man. Openly and full +of confidence, as if I sat among dear friends, I have here related the +story of my life, have spoken both of my sorrows and joys, and have +expressed my pleasure at each mark of applause and recognition, as I +believe I might even express it before God himself. But then, whether +this may be vanity? I know not: my heart was affected and humble at the +same time, my thought was gratitude to God. That I have related it is +not alone because such a biographical sketch as this was desired from me +for the collected edition of my works, but because, as has been already +said, the history of my life will be the best commentary to all my +works. + +In a few days I shall say farewell to the Pyrenees, and return through +Switzerland to dear, kind Germany, where so much joy has flowed into my +life, where I possess so many sympathizing friends, where my writings +have been so kindly and encouragingly received, and where also +these sheets will be gently criticized, When the Christmas-tree is +lighted,--when, as people say, the white bees swarm,--I shall be, God +willing, again in Denmark with my dear ones, my heart filled with the +flowers of travel, and strengthened both in body and mind: then will new +works grow upon paper; may God lay his blessing upon them! He will +do so. A star of good fortune shines upon me; there are thousands who +deserve it far more than I; I often myself cannot conceive why I, in +preference to numberless others, should receive so much joy: may it +continue to shine! But should it set, perhaps whilst I conclude these +lines, still it has shone, I have received my rich portion; let it set! +From this also the best will spring. To God and men my thanks, my love! + +Vernet (Department of the East Pyrenees), July, 1846. + +H. C. ANDERSEN. + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The True Story of My Life, by +Hans Christian Andersen + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE STORY OF MY LIFE *** + +***** This file should be named 7007-8.txt or 7007-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/7/0/0/7007/ + +Produced by Eric Eldred; Juliet Sutherland,the Project +Manager--a DP text + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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