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diff --git a/old/69817-0.txt b/old/69817-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 19139aa..0000000 --- a/old/69817-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,4228 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of A kiss for Cinderella, by J. M. Barrie - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: A kiss for Cinderella - A comedy - -Author: J. M. Barrie - -Release Date: January 16, 2023 [eBook #69817] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Charlene Taylor and the Online Distributed Proofreading - Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from - images generously made available by The Internet - Archive/American Libraries.) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A KISS FOR CINDERELLA *** - - - - - - - +---------------------------+ - | THE UNIFORM EDITION OF | - | THE PLAYS OF J. M. BARRIE | - +---------------------------+ - - - A KISS - FOR CINDERELLA - - - - - +--------------------------------------------------------+ - | _THE WORKS OF J. M. BARRIE._ | - | | - | | - | _NOVELS, STORIES, AND SKETCHES._ | - | _Uniform Edition._ | - | | - | AULD LICHT IDYLLS, BETTER DEAD. | - | WHEN A MAN’S SINGLE. | - | A WINDOW IN THRUMS, AN EDINBURGH ELEVEN. | - | THE LITTLE MINISTER. | - | SENTIMENTAL TOMMY. | - | MY LADY NICOTINE, MARGARET OGILVY. | - | TOMMY AND GRIZEL. | - | THE LITTLE WHITE BIRD. | - | PETER AND WENDY. | - | | - | _Also_ | - | | - | HALF HOURS, DER TAG. | - | ECHOES OF THE WAR. | - | | - | | - | _PLAYS._ | - | _Uniform Edition._ | - | | - | DEAR BRUTUS. | - | A KISS FOR CINDERELLA. | - | ALICE SIT-BY-THE-FIRE. | - | WHAT EVERY WOMAN KNOWS. | - | QUALITY STREET. | - | THE ADMIRABLE CRICHTON. | - | ECHOES OF THE WAR. | - | _Containing_: The Old Lady Shows Her Medals—The | - | New Word—Barbara’s Wedding—A Well-Remembered | - | Voice. | - | | - | HALF HOURS. | - | _Containing_: Pantaloon—The Twelve-Pound | - | Look—Rosalind—The Will. | - | | - | | - | _Others in Preparation._ | - | _INDIVIDUAL EDITIONS._ | - | | - | PETER PAN IN KENSINGTON GARDENS. | - | Illustrated by ARTHUR RACKHAM. | - | PETER AND WENDY. | - | Illustrated by F. D. BEDFORD. | - | PETER PAN AND WENDY. | - | Illustrated by MISS ATTWELL. | - | TOMMY AND GRIZEL. | - | Illustrated by BERNARD PARTRIDGE. | - | MARGARET OGILVY. | - | | - | | - | ⁂ For particulars concerning _The Thistle Edition_ of | - | the Works of J. M. BARRIE, sold only by subscription, | - | send for circular. | - | | - | | - | NEW YORK: CHARLES SCRIBNER’S SONS | - +--------------------------------------------------------+ - - - - - +--------------------------------------+ - | THE PLAYS OF | - | J. M. BARRIE | - |--------------------------------------| - | | - | | - | A KISS | - | FOR CINDERELLA | - | | - | A COMEDY | - | | - | | - |--------------------------------------| - | | - | CHARLES SCRIBNER’S SONS | - | NEW YORK : : : : : : : : : 1923 | - | | - +--------------------------------------+ - - - - - COPYRIGHT, 1920, BY - J. M. BARRIE - - Printed in the United States of America - - - _All rights reserved under the International Copyright Act. - Performance forbidden and right of representation reserved. - Application for the right of performing this play must be - made to Charles Frohman, Inc., Empire Theatre, New York._ - - -[Illustration: (Publisher colophon)] - - - - -I - - -_The least distinguished person in ‘Who’s Who’ has escaped, as it -were, from that fashionable crush, and is spending a quiet evening -at home. He is curled up in his studio, which is so dark that he -would be invisible, had we not obligingly placed his wicker chair -just where the one dim ray from the stove may strike his face. His -eyes are closed luxuriously, and we could not learn much about -him without first poking our fingers into them. According to the -tome mentioned (to which we must return him before morning), Mr. -Bodie is sixty-three, has exhibited in the Royal Academy, and is at -present unmarried. They do not proclaim him comparatively obscure: -they left it indeed to him to say the final word on this subject, -and he has hedged. Let us put it in this way, that he occupies more -space in his wicker chair than in the book, where nevertheless -he looks as if it was rather lonely not to be a genius. He is a -painter for the nicest of reasons, that it is delightful to live -and die in a messy studio; for our part, we too should have become -a painter had it not been that we always lost our paint-box. There -is no spirited bidding to acquire Mr. Bodie’s canvases: he loves -them at first sight himself, and has often got up in the night to -see how they are faring; but ultimately he has turned cold to them, -and has even been known to offer them, in lieu of alms, to beggars, -who departed cursing. We have a weakness for persons who don’t get -on, and so cannot help adding, though it is no business of ours, -that Mr. Bodie had private means. Curled up in his wicker chair he -is rather like an elderly cupid. We wish we could warn him that the -policeman is coming._ - -_The policeman comes: in his hand the weapon that has knocked down -more malefactors than all the batons—the bull’s-eye. He strikes -with it now, right and left, revealing, as if she had just entered -the room, a replica of the Venus of Milo, taller than himself -though he is stalwart. It is the first meeting of these two, but, -though a man who can come to the boil, he is as little moved -by her as she by him. After the first glance she continues her -reflections. Her smile over his head vaguely displeases him. For -two pins he would arrest her._ - -_The lantern finds another object, more worthy of his attention, -the artist. Mr. Bodie is more restive under the light than was his -goddess, perhaps because he is less accustomed to being stared at. -He blinks and sits up._ - -MR. BODIE (_giving his visitor a lesson in manners_). I beg your -pardon, officer. - -POLICEMAN (_confounded_). Not that, sir; not at all. - -MR. BODIE (_pressing his advantage_). But I insist on begging your -pardon, officer. - -POLICEMAN. I don’t see what for, sir. - -MR. BODIE (_fancying himself_). For walking uninvited into the -abode of a law-abiding London citizen, with whom I have not the -pleasure of being acquainted. - -POLICEMAN (_after thinking this out_). But I’m the one as has done -that, sir. - -MR. BODIE (_with neat surprise_). So you are, I beg your pardon, -officer. - - (_With pardonable pride in himself_ MR. BODIE _turns on the - light. The studio, as we can now gather from its sloped - roof, is at the top of a house; and its window is heavily - screened, otherwise we might see the searchlights through - it, showing that we are in the period of the great war. - Though no one speaks of_ MR. BODIE’S _pictures as Bodies, - which is the true test of fame, he is sufficiently eminent - not to have works of art painted or scratched on his walls, - mercy has been shown even to the panels of his door, and - he is handsomely stingy of draperies. The Venus stands so - prominent that the studio is evidently hers rather than - his. The stove has been brought forward so that he can rest - his feet on it, which ever of his easy chairs he is sitting - in, and he also falls over it at times when stepping back - to consider his latest failure. On a shelf is a large - stuffed penguin, which is to be one of the characters in - the play, and on each side of this shelf are two or three - tattered magazines. We had hankered after giving_ MR. BODIE - _many rows of books, but were well aware that he would - get only blocks of wood so cleverly painted to look like - books that they would deceive everyone except the audience. - Everything may be real on the stage except the books. So - there are only a few magazines in the studio (and very - likely when the curtain rings up it will be found that they - are painted too). But_ MR. BODIE _was a reader; he had - books in another room, and the careworn actor must suggest - this by his manner._ - - _Our_ POLICEMAN _is no bookman; we who write happen to - have it from himself that he had not bought a book since - he squeezed through the sixth standard: very tight was his - waist that day, he told us, and he had to let out every - button. Nevertheless it was literature of a sort that first - brought him into our ken. He was our local constable: and - common interests, as in the vagaries of the moon, gradually - made him and us cease to look at each other askance. We - fell into the way of chatting with him and giving him the - evening papers we had bought to read as we crossed the - streets. One of his duties was to herd the vagrant populace - under our arches during air-raids, and at such times he - could be properly gruff, yet comforting, like one who would - at once run in any bomb that fell in his beat. When he - had all his flock nicely plastered against the dank walls - he would occasionally come to rest beside us, and thaw, - and discuss the newspaper article that had interested him - most. It was seldom a war-record; more frequently it was - something on the magazine page, such as a symposium by - the learned on ‘Do you Believe in Love at First Sight?’ - Though reticent in many matters he would face this problem - openly; with the guns cracking all around, he would ask for - our views wistfully; he spoke of love without a blush, as - something recognised officially at Scotland Yard. At this - time he had been in love, to his own knowledge, for several - weeks, but whether the god had struck him at first sight - he was not certain; he was most anxious to know, and it - was in the hope of our being able to help him out that he - told us his singular story. On his face at such times was - often an amazed look, as if he were staring at her rather - than at us, and seeing a creature almost beyond belief. Our - greatest success was in saying that perhaps she had fallen - in love at first sight with him, which on reflection nearly - doubled him up. He insisted on knowing what had made us - put forward this extraordinary suggestion; he would indeed - scarcely leave our company that night, and discussed the - possibility with us very much as if it were a police case._ - - _Our policeman’s romance, now to be told, began, as we - begin, with his climbing up into_ MR. BODIE’S _studio_. - MR. BODIE _having turned on the light gave him the nasty - look that means ‘And now, my man, what can I do for you?’ - Our_ POLICEMAN, _however, was not one to be worsted without - striking a blow. He strode to the door, as he has told us, - and pointed to a light in the passage._) - - -POLICEMAN (_in his most brow-beating voice, so well known under the -arches_). Look here, sir, it’s that. - -MR. BODIE. I don’t follow. - -POLICEMAN. Look at that passage window. (_With natural pride in -language._) You are showing too much illumination. - -BODIE. Oh! well, surely— - -POLICEMAN (_with professional firmness_). It’s agin the regulations. -A party in the neighbouring skylight complains. - -BODIE (_putting out the light_). If that will do for to-night, I’ll -have the window boarded up. - -POLICEMAN. Anything so long as it obscures the illumination. - -BODIE (_irritated_). Shuts out the light. - -POLICEMAN (_determinedly_). Obscures the illumination. - -BODIE (_on reflection_). I remember now, I did have that window -boarded up. - -POLICEMAN (_who has himself a pretty vein of sarcasm_). I don’t see -the boards. - -BODIE. Nor do I see the boards. (_Pondering._) Can she have boned -them? - -POLICEMAN. She? (_He is at once aware that it has become a more -difficult case._) - -BODIE. You are right. She is scrupulously honest, and if she took -the boards we may be sure that I said she could have them. But that -only adds to the mystery. - -POLICEMAN (_obligingly_). Mystery? - -BODIE. Why this passion for collecting boards? Try her with a -large board, officer. Extraordinary! - -POLICEMAN (_heavily_). I don’t know what you are talking about, -sir. Are you complaining of some woman? - -BODIE. Now that is the question. Am I? As you are here, officer, -there is something I want to say to you. But I should dislike -getting her into trouble. - -POLICEMAN (_stoutly_). No man what is a man wants to get a woman -into trouble unnecessary. - -BODIE (_much struck_). That’s true! That’s absolutely true, officer. - -POLICEMAN (_badgered_). It’s true, but there’s nothing remarkable -about it. - -BODIE. Excuse me. - -POLICEMAN. See here, sir, I’m just an ordinary policeman. - -BODIE. I can’t let that pass. If I may say so, you have impressed -me most deeply. I wonder if I might ask a favour of you. Would you -mind taking off your helmet? As it happens, I have never seen a -policeman without his helmet. - - (_The perplexed officer puts his helmet on the table._) - -Thank you. (_Studying the effect._) Of course I knew they took off. -You sit also? - - (_The policeman sits._) - -Very interesting. - -POLICEMAN. About this woman, sir— - -BODIE. We are coming to her. Perhaps I ought to tell you my -name—Mr. Bodie. (_Indicating the Venus._) This is Mrs. Bodie. No, -I am not married. It is merely a name given her because she is my -ideal. - -POLICEMAN. You gave me a turn. - -BODIE. Now that I think of it, I believe the name was given to her -by the very woman we are talking about. - -POLICEMAN (_producing his note book_). To begin with, who is the -woman we are talking about? - -BODIE (_becoming more serious_). On the surface, she is just a -little drudge. These studios are looked after by a housekeeper, who -employs this girl to do the work. - -POLICEMAN. H’m! Sleeps on the premises? - -BODIE. No; she is here from eight to six. - -POLICEMAN. Place of abode? - -BODIE. She won’t tell anyone that. - -POLICEMAN. Aha! What’s the party’s name? - -BODIE. Cinderella. - - (_The_ POLICEMAN _writes it down unmoved_. MR. BODIE - _twinkles_.) - -Haven’t you heard that name before? - -POLICEMAN. Can’t say I have, sir. But I’ll make inquiries at the -Yard. - -BODIE. It was really I who gave her that name, because she -seemed such a poor little neglected waif. After the girl in the -story-book, you know. - -POLICEMAN. No, sir, I don’t know. In the Force we find it -impossible to keep up with current fiction. - -BODIE. She was a girl with a broom. There must have been more in -the story than that, but I forget the rest. - -POLICEMAN. The point is, that’s not the name she calls herself by. - -BODIE. Yes, indeed it is. I think she was called something else -when she came, Miss Thing, or some such name; but she took to the -name of Cinderella with avidity, and now she absolutely denies that -she ever had any other. - -POLICEMAN. Parentage? - -BODIE (_now interested in his tale_). That’s another odd thing. -I seem to remember vaguely her telling me that her parents when -alive were very humble persons indeed. Touch of Scotch about her, I -should say—perhaps from some distant ancestor; but Scotch words and -phrases still stick to the Cockney child like bits of egg-shell to -a chicken. - -POLICEMAN (_writing_). Egg-shell to chicken. - -BODIE. I find, however, that she has lately been telling the -housekeeper quite a different story. - -POLICEMAN (_like a counsel_). Proceed. - -BODIE. According to this, her people were of considerable -position—a Baron and Baroness, in fact. - -POLICEMAN. Proceed. - -BODIE. The only other relatives she seems to have mentioned are -two sisters of unprepossessing appearance. - -POLICEMAN (_cleverly_). If this story is correct, what is she doing -here? - -BODIE. I understand there is something about her father having -married again, and her being badly treated. She doesn’t expect this -to last. It seems that she has reason to believe that some very -remarkable change may take place in her circumstances at an early -date, at a ball for which her godmother is to get her what she -calls an invite. This is evidently to be a very swagger function at -which something momentous is to occur, the culminating moment being -at midnight. - -POLICEMAN (_writing_). Godmother. Invite. Twelve P.M. Fishy! Tell -me about them boards now. - -BODIE (_who is evidently fond of the child_). You can’t think how -wistful she is to get hold of boards. She has them on the brain. -Carries them off herself into the unknown. - -POLICEMAN. I daresay she breaks them up for firewood. - -BODIE. No; she makes them into large boxes. - -POLICEMAN (_sagaciously_). Very likely to keep things in. - -BODIE. She has admitted that she keeps things in them. But what -things? Ask her that, and her mouth shuts like a trap. - -POLICEMAN. Any suspicions? - - (MR. BODIE _hesitates. It seems absurd to suspect this - waif—and yet!_) - -BODIE. I’m sorry to say I have. I don’t know what the things are, -but I do know they are connected in some way with Germany. - -POLICEMAN (_darkly_). Proceed. - -BODIE (_really troubled_). Officer, she is too curious about -Germany. - -POLICEMAN. That’s bad. - -BODIE. She plies me with questions about it—not openly—very -cunningly. - -POLICEMAN. Such as—? - -BODIE. For instance, what would be the punishment for an English -person caught hiding aliens in this country? - -POLICEMAN. If she’s up to games of that kind— - -BODIE. Does that shed any light on the boxes, do you think? - -POLICEMAN. She can’t keep them shut up in boxes. - -BODIE. I don’t know. She is extraordinarily dogged. She knows a -number of German words. - -POLICEMAN. That’s ugly. - -BODIE. She asked me lately how one could send a letter to Germany -without Lord Haig knowing. By the way, do you, by any chance, know -anything against a firm of dressmakers called _Celeste et Cie._? - -POLICEMAN. Celest A. C.? No, but it has a German sound. - -BODIE. It’s French. - -POLICEMAN. Might be a blind. - -BODIE. I think she lives at Celeste’s. Now I looked up Celeste et -Cie. in the telephone book, and I find they are in Bond Street. -Immensely fashionable. - -POLICEMAN. She lives in Bond Street? London’s full of romance, sir, -to them as knows where to look for it—namely, the police. Is she on -the premises? - -BODIE (_reluctantly_). Sure to be; it isn’t six yet. - -POLICEMAN (_in his most terrible voice_). Well, leave her to me. - -BODIE. You mustn’t frighten her. I can’t help liking her. She’s so -extraordinarily _homely_ that you can’t be with her many minutes -before you begin thinking of your early days. Where were you born, -officer? - -POLICEMAN. I’m from Badgery. - -BODIE. She’ll make you think of Badgery. - -POLICEMAN (_frowning_). She had best try no games on me. - -BODIE. She will have difficulty in answering questions; she is so -used to asking them. I never knew a child with such an appetite for -information. She doesn’t search for it in books; indeed the only -book of mine I can remember ever seeing her read, was a volume of -fairy tales. - -POLICEMAN (_stupidly_). Well, that don’t help us much. What kind of -questions? - -BODIE. Every kind. What is the Censor? Who is Lord _Times_?—she has -heard people here talking of that paper and its proprietor, and -has mixed them up in the quaintest way; then again—when a tailor -measures a gentleman’s legs what does he mean when he says—26, -4—32, 11? What are doctors up to when they tell you to say 99? In -finance she has an almost morbid interest in the penny. - -POLICEMAN. The penny? It’s plain the first thing to find out is -whether she’s the slavey she seems to be, or a swell in disguise. - -BODIE. You won’t find it so easy. - -POLICEMAN. Excuse me, sir; we have an infall_ay_ble way at Scotland -Yard of finding out whether a woman is common or a lady. - -BODIE (_irritated_). An infallible way. - -POLICEMAN (_firmly_). Infallayable. - -BODIE. I should like to know what it is. - -POLICEMAN. There is nothing against my telling you. (_He settles -down to a masterly cross-examination._) Where, sir, does a common -female keep her valuables when she carries them about on her person? - -BODIE. In her pocket, I suppose. - -POLICEMAN. And you suppose correctly. But where does a lady keep -them? - -BODIE. In the same place, I suppose. - -POLICEMAN. Then you suppose wrongly. No, sir, here. (_He taps his -own chest, and indicates discreetly how a lady may pop something -down out of sight._) - -BODIE (_impressed_). I believe you are right, officer. - -POLICEMAN. I am right—it’s infallayble. A lady, what with drink -and such like misfortunes, may forget all her other refinements, -but she never forgets that. At the Yard it’s considered as sure as -finger-marks. - -BODIE. Strange! I wonder who was the first woman to do it. It -couldn’t have been Eve this time, officer. - -POLICEMAN (_after reflecting_). I see your point. And now I want -just to have a look at the party unbeknownst to her. Where could I -conceal myself? - -BODIE. Hide? - -POLICEMAN. Conceal myself. - -BODIE. That small door opens on to my pantry, where she washes up. - -POLICEMAN (_peeping in_). It will do. Now bring her up. - -BODIE. It doesn’t seem fair—I really can’t— - -POLICEMAN. War-time, sir. - - (MR. BODIE _decides that it is patriotic to ring. The_ - POLICEMAN _emerges from the pantry with a slavey’s hat and - jacket_.) - -These belong to the party, sir? - -BODIE. I forgot. She keeps them in there. (_He surveys the articles -with some emotion._) Gaudy feathers. And yet that hat may have done -some gallant things. The brave apparel of the very poor! Who knows, -officer, that you and I are not at this moment on rather holy -ground. - -POLICEMAN (_stoutly_). I see nothing wrong with the feathers. I -must say, sir, I like the feathers. - - (_He slips into the pantry with the hat and jacket, but - forgets his helmet, over which the artist hastily jams a - flower bowl. There were visiting cards in the bowl and - they are scattered on the floor._ MR. BODIE _sees them - not: it is his first attempt at the conspirator, and he - sits guiltily with a cigarette just in time to deceive_ - CINDERELLA, _who charges into the room as from a catapult. - This is her usual mode of entrance, and is owing to her - desire to give satisfaction._) - - _Our_ POLICEMAN, _as he has told us under the arches, - was watching her through the keyhole, but his first - impressions have been so coloured by subsequent events - that it is questionable whether they would be accepted - in any court of law. Is prepared to depose that to the - best of his recollection, they were unfavourable. Does - not imply by unfavourable any aspersion on her personal - appearance. Would accept the phrase ‘far from striking’ as - summing up her first appearance. Would no longer accept - the phrase. Had put her down as being a grown woman, but - not sufficiently grown. Thought her hair looked to be run - up her finger. Did not like this way of doing the hair. - Could not honestly say that she seemed even then to be - an ordinary slavey of the areas. She was dressed as one, - but was suspiciously clean. On the other hand, she had - the genuine hungry look. Among more disquieting features - noticed a sort of refinement in her voice and manner, - which was characteristic of the criminal classes. Knew now - that this was caused by the reading of fairy tales and the - thinking of noble thoughts. Noted speedily that she was - a domineering character who talked sixteen to the dozen, - and at such times reminded him of funny old ladies. Was - much struck by her eyes, which seemed to suggest that she - was all burning inside. This impression was strengthened - later when he touched her hands. Felt at once the curious - ‘homeliness’ of her, as commented on by_ MR. BODIE, _but - could swear on oath that this had not at once made him - think of Badgery. Could recall not the slightest symptoms - of love at first sight. On the contrary, listened carefully - to the conversation between her and_ MR. BODIE _and formed - a stern conclusion about her. Believed that this was all he - could say about his first impression._ - -CINDERELLA (_breathlessly_). Did you rang, sir? - -BODIE (_ashamed_). Did I? I did—but—I—I don’t know why. If you’re a -good servant, you ought to know why. - - (_The cigarette, disgusted with him, falls from his mouth; - and his little servant flings up her hands to heaven._) - -CINDERELLA (_taking possession of him_). There you go again! Fifty -years have you been at it, and you can’t hold a seegarette in your -mouth _yet_! (_She sternly produces the turpentine_.) - -BODIE (_in sudden alarm_). I won’t be brushed. I will not be -scraped. - -CINDERELLA (_twisting him round_). Just look at that tobaccy ash! -And I cleaned you up so pretty before luncheon. - -BODIE. I will _not_ be cleaned again. - -CINDERELLA (_in her element_). Keep still. - - (_She brushes, scrapes, and turpentines him. In the glory - of this she tosses her head at the Venus._) - -I gave Mrs. Bodie a good wipe down this morning with soap and water. - -BODIE (_indignant_). That is a little too much. You know quite well -I allow no one to touch her. - - (CINDERELLA _leaves him and gazes in irritation at the - statue_.) - -CINDERELLA. What is it about the woman? - -BODIE (_in his heat forgetting the policeman_). She is the glory of -glories. - -CINDERELLA (_who would be willowy if she were long enough_). She’s -thick. - -BODIE. Her measurements are perfection. All women long to be like -her, but none ever can be. - -CINDERELLA (_insisting_). I suppose that’s the reason she has that -snigger on her face. - -BODIE. That is perhaps the smile of motherhood. Some people think -there was once a baby in her arms. - -CINDERELLA (_with a new interest in Venus_). Her own? - -BODIE. I suppose so. - -CINDERELLA. A married woman then? - -BODIE (_nonplussed_). Don’t ask trivial questions. - -CINDERELLA (_generously_). It was clever of you to make her. - -BODIE. I didn’t make her. I was—forestalled. Some other artist -chappie did it. (_He likes his little maid again._) She was dug -up, Cinderella, after lying hidden in the ground for more than a -thousand years. - -CINDERELLA. And the baby gone? - -BODIE (_snapping_). Yes. - -CINDERELLA. If I had lost my baby I wouldn’t have been found with -that pleased look on my face, not in a thousand years. - -BODIE. Her arms were broken, you see, so she had to drop the baby— - -CINDERELLA. She could have up with her knee and catched it— - -BODIE (_excitedly_). By heavens, that may just be what she is -doing. (_He contemplates a letter to the ‘Times.’_) - -CINDERELLA (_little aware that she may have solved the question of -the ages_). Beauty’s a grand thing. - -BODIE. It is. - -CINDERELLA. I warrant _she_ led them a pretty dance in her day. - -BODIE. Men? - -CINDERELLA. Umpha! (_wistfully_). It must be fine to have men so -mad about you that they go off their feed and roar. (_She turns -with a sigh to the dusting of the penguin._) What did you say this -is? - -BODIE (_ignorant of what he is letting himself in for_). A bishop. - -CINDERELLA (_nearly choking_). The sort that marries swell couples? - -BODIE. Yes. - -CINDERELLA (_huskily, as if it made all the difference to her_). I -never thought of that. - -BODIE (_kindly_). Why should you, you queer little waif. Do you -know why I call you Cinderella? - -CINDERELLA. Fine, I know. - -BODIE. Why is it? - -CINDERELLA (_with shy happiness_). It’s because I have such pretty -feet. - -BODIE. You dear little innocent. (_He thinks shame of his -suspicions. He is planning how to get rid of the man in the pantry -when she brings him back to hard facts with a bump._) - -CINDERELLA (_in a whisper_). Mr. Bodie, if you wanted to get -into Buckingham Palace on the dodge, how would you slip by the -policeman? (_she wrings her hands_). The police is everywhere in -war-time. - -BODIE (_conscious how near one of them is_). They are—be careful, -Cinderella. - -CINDERELLA. I am—oh, I am! If you knew the precautions I’m taking— - -BODIE (_miserable_). Sh! - -CINDERELLA (_now in a quiver_). Mr. Bodie, you haven’t by any -chance got an invite for to-night, have you? - -BODIE. What for? - -CINDERELLA (_as still as the Venus_). For—for a ball. - -BODIE. There are no balls in war-time. - -CINDERELLA (_dogged_). Just the one. Mr. Bodie, did you ever see -the King? - -BODIE. The King? Several times. - -CINDERELLA (_as white as the Venus_). Was the Prince of Wales with -him? - -BODIE. Once. - -CINDERELLA. What’s he like? - -BODIE. Splendid! Quite young, you know. He’s not married. - -CINDERELLA (_with awful intensity_). No, not yet. - -BODIE. I suppose he is very difficult to satisfy. - -CINDERELLA (_knitting her lips_). He has never seen the feet that -pleased him. - -BODIE. Cinderella, your pulse is galloping. You frighten me. What -possesses you? - -CINDERELLA (_after hesitating_). There is something I want to tell -you. Maybe I’ll not be coming back after to-night. She has paid me -up to to-night. - -BODIE. Is she sending you away? - -CINDERELLA. No. I’ve sort of given notice. - -BODIE (_disappointed_). You’ve got another place? - - (_She shuts her mouth like a box._) - -Has it anything to do with the Godmother business? - - (_Her mouth remains closed. He barks at her._) - -Don’t then. (_He reconsiders her._) I like you, you know. - -CINDERELLA (_gleaming_). It’s fine to be liked. - -BODIE. Have you a lonely life? - -CINDERELLA. It’s kind of lonely. - -BODIE. You won’t tell me about your home? - - (_She shakes her head._) - -Is there any nice person to look after you in the sort of way in -which you look after me? - -CINDERELLA. I’m all alone. There’s just me and my feet. - -BODIE. If you go I’ll miss you. We’ve had some good times here, -Cinderella, haven’t we? - -CINDERELLA (_rapturously_). We have! You mind that chop you gave -me? Hey, hey, hey! (_considering it judicially_). That was the most -charming chop I ever saw. And many is the lick of soup you’ve given -me when you thought I looked down-like. Do you mind the chicken -that was too high for you? You give me the whole chicken. That was -a day. - -BODIE. I never meant you to eat it. - -CINDERELLA. I didn’t eat it all myself. I shared it with them. - -BODIE (_inquisitively_). With them? With whom? - - (_Her mouth shuts promptly, and he sulks. She picks up the - visiting cards that litter the floor._) - -CINDERELLA. What a spill! If you’re not messing you’re spilling. -Where’s the bowl? - - (_She lifts the bowl and discovers the helmet. She is - appalled._) - -BODIE (_in an agony of remorse pointing to the door_). Cinderella, -quick! - - (_But our_ POLICEMAN _has emerged and barred the way_.) - -POLICEMAN (_indicating that it is_ MR. BODIE _who must go_). If -_you_ please, sir. - -BODIE. I won’t! Don’t you dare to frighten her. - -POLICEMAN (_settling the matter with the palm of his hand_). That -will do. If I need you I’ll call you. - -BODIE (_flinching_). Cinderella, it’s—it’s just a form. I won’t be -far away. - - (_He departs reluctantly._) - -POLICEMAN (_sternly_). Stand up. - -CINDERELLA (_a quaking figure, who has never sat down_). I’m -standing up. - -POLICEMAN. Now, no sauce. - - (_He produces his note book. He is about to make a powerful - beginning when he finds her eyes regarding the middle of - his person._) - -Now then, what are you staring at? - -CINDERELLA. (_hotly_). That’s a poor way to polish a belt. If I was -a officer I would think shame of having my belt in that condition. - -POLICEMAN. (_undoubtedly affected by her homeliness though -unconscious of it_). It’s easy to speak; it’s a miserable polish I -admit, but mind you, I’m pretty done when my job’s over; and I have -the polishing to do myself. - -CINDERELLA. You have no woman person? - -POLICEMAN. Not me. - -CINDERELLA (_with passionate arms_). If I had that belt for half an -hour! - -POLICEMAN. What would you use? - -CINDERELLA. Spit. - -POLICEMAN. Spit? That’s like what my mother would have said. That -was in Badgery, where I was born. When I was a boy at Badgery—(_He -stops short. She has reminded him of Badgery!_) - -CINDERELLA. What’s wrong? - -POLICEMAN (_heavily_). How did you manage that about Badgery? - -CINDERELLA. What? - -POLICEMAN. Take care, prisoner. - - (_The word makes her shudder. He sits, prepared to take - notes._) - -Name? - -CINDERELLA. Cinderella. - -POLICEMAN. Take care, Thing. Occupation, if any? - -CINDERELLA (_with some pride_). Tempary help. - -POLICEMAN. Last place? - -CINDERELLA. 3 Robert Street. - -POLICEMAN. Scotch? - - (_Her mouth shuts._) - -Ah, they’ll never admit that. Reason for leaving? - -CINDERELLA. I had to go when the war broke out. - -POLICEMAN. Why dismissed? - -CINDERELLA (_forlorn_). They said I was a luxury. - -POLICEMAN (_getting ready to pounce_). Now be cautious. How do you -spend your evenings after you leave this building? - - (_Her mouth shuts._) - -Have you another and secret occupation? - - (_She blanches._) - -Has it to do with boxes? What do you keep in those boxes? Where -is it that these goings-on is going on? If you won’t tell me, I’m -willing to tell you. It’s at A. C. Celeste’s.... In Bond Street, W. - - (_He has levelled his finger at her, but it is a pistol - that does not go off. To his chagrin she looks relieved. He - tries hammer blows._) - -Are you living in guilty splendour? How do you come to know German -words? How many German words do you think _I_ know? Just one, -_espionage_. What’s the German for ‘six months hard’? - - (_She is now crumpled, and here he would do well to pause - and stride up and down the room. But he cannot leave well - alone._) - -What’s this nonsense about your feet? - -CINDERELLA (_plucking up courage_). It’s not nonsense. - -POLICEMAN. I see nothing particular about your feet. - -CINDERELLA. Then I’m sorry for you. - -POLICEMAN. What is it? - -CINDERELLA (_softly as if it were a line from the Bible_). Their -exquisite smallness and perfect shape. - -POLICEMAN (_with a friendly glance at the Venus_). For my part I’m -partial to big women with their noses in the air. - -CINDERELLA (_stung_). So is everybody (_pathetically_). I’ve tried. -But it’s none so easy, with never no butcher’s meat in the house. -You’ll see where the su-perb shoulders and the haughty manners come -from if you look in shop windows and see the whole of a cow turned -inside out and ‘Delicious’ printed on it. - -POLICEMAN (_always just_). There’s something in that. - -CINDERELLA (_swelling_). But it doesn’t matter how fine the rest of -you is if you doesn’t have small feet. - -POLICEMAN. I never gave feet a thought. - -CINDERELLA. The swells think of nothing else. (_Exploding._) Wait -till you are at the Ball. Many a haughty beauty with superb uppers -will come sailing in—as sure of the prize as if ‘Delicious’ was -pinned on her—and then forward steps the Lord Mayor, and, _utterly -disregarding her uppers_, he points to the bottom of her skirt, and -he says ‘Lift!’ and she _has_ to lift, and there’s a dead silence, -and nothing to be heard except the Prince crying ‘Throw her out!’ - -POLICEMAN (_somewhat staggered by her knowledge of the high life_). -What’s all this about a ball? - - (CINDERELLA _sees she has said too much and her mouth shuts_.) - -Was you ever at a ball? - -CINDERELLA (_with dignity_). At any rate I’ve been at the Horse -Show. - -POLICEMAN. A ball’s not like a Horse Show. - -CINDERELLA. You’ll see. - -POLICEMAN (_reverting to business_). It all comes to this, are you -genteel, or common clay? - -CINDERELLA (_pertly_). I leaves that to you. - -POLICEMAN. You couldn’t leave it in safer hands. I want a witness -to this. - -CINDERELLA (_startled_). A witness! What are you to do? - - (_With terrible self-confidence he has already opened the - door and beckoned._ MR. BODIE _comes in anxiously_.) - -POLICEMAN. Take note, sir. (_With the affable manner of a -conjuror._) We are now about to try a little experiment, the object -being to discover whether this party is genteel or common clay. - -CINDERELLA. Oh, Mr. Bodie, what is it? - -BODIE (_remembering what he has been told of the Scotland Yard -test_). I don’t like.... I won’t have it. - -POLICEMAN. It gives her the chance of proving once and for all -whether she’s of gentle blood. - -CINDERELLA (_eagerly_). Does it? - -BODIE. I must forbid.... - -CINDERELLA (_with dreadful resolution_). I’m ready. I wants to know -myself. - -POLICEMAN. _Ve_—ry well. Now then, I heard you say that the old -party downstairs had paid you your wages to-day. - -CINDERELLA. I see nothing you can prove by that. It was a -half-week’s wages—1s. 7d. Of course I could see my way clearer if -it had been 1s. 9d. - -POLICEMAN. That’s neither here nor there. We’ll proceed. Now, very -likely you wrapped the money up in a screw of paper. Did you? - - (_She is afraid of giving herself away._) - -Thinking won’t help you. - -CINDERELLA. It’s _my_ money. - -BODIE. Nobody wants your money, Cinderella. - -POLICEMAN. Answer me. Did you? - -CINDERELLA. Yes. - -POLICEMAN. Say ‘I did.’ - -CINDERELLA. I did. - -POLICEMAN. And possibly for the sake of greater security you tied a -string round it—did you? - -CINDERELLA. I did. - -POLICEMAN (_after a glance at_ MR. BODIE _to indicate that -the supreme moment has come_). You then deposited the little -parcel—where? - -BODIE (_in an agony_). Cinderella, be careful! - - (_She is so dreading to do the wrong thing that she can - only stare. Finally, alas, she produces the fatal packet - from her pocket. Quiet triumph of our policeman._) - -BODIE. My poor child! - -CINDERELLA (_not realising yet that she has given herself away_). -What is it? Go on. - -POLICEMAN. That’ll do. You can stand down. - -CINDERELLA. You’ve found out? - -POLICEMAN. I have. - -CINDERELLA (_breathless_). And what am I? - -POLICEMAN (_kindly_). I’m sorry. - -CINDERELLA. Am I—common clay? - - (_They look considerately at the floor; she bursts into - tears and runs into the pantry, shutting the door._) - -POLICEMAN (_with melancholy satisfaction_). It’s infall_ay_ble. - -BODIE. At any rate it shows that there’s nothing against her. - -POLICEMAN (_taking him further from the pantry door, in a low -voice_). I dunno. There’s some queer things. Where does she go -when she leaves this house? What about that ball?—and her German -connection?—and them boards she makes into boxes—and A. C. Celeste? -Well, I’ll find out. - -BODIE (_miserably_). What are you going to do? - -POLICEMAN. To track her when she leaves here. I may have to adopt a -disguise. I’m a masterpiece at that. - -BODIE. Yes, but— - -POLICEMAN (_stamping about the floor with the exaggerated tread of -the Law_). I’ll tell you the rest outside. I must make her think -that my suspicions are—allayed. (_He goes cunningly to the pantry -door and speaks in a loud voice._) Well, sir, that satisfies me -that she’s not the party I was in search of, and so, with your -permission, I’ll bid you good evening. What, you’re going out -yourself? Then I’ll be very happy to walk part of the way with you. - - (_Nodding and winking, he goes off with heavy steps, taking - with him the reluctant_ MR. BODIE, _who like one mesmerised - also departs stamping_. - - MISS THING _peeps out to make sure that they are gone. - She is wearing her hat and jacket, which have restored - her self-respect. The tears have been disposed of with - a lick of the palm. She is again a valiant soul who has - had too many brushes with the police not to be able to - face another with a tight lip. She is going, but she - is not going without her wooden board; law or no law - she cannot do without wooden boards. She gets it from a - corner where it has been artfully concealed. An imprudent - glance at the Venus again dispirits her. With a tape she - takes the Beauty’s measurements and then her own, with - depressing results. The Gods at last pity her, and advise - an examination of her rival’s foot. Excursions, alarms, - transport. She compares feet and is glorified. She slips - off her shoe and challenges Venus to put it on. Then, with - a derisive waggle of her foot at the shamed goddess, the - little enigma departs on her suspicious business, little - witting that a masterpiece of a constable is on her track._) - - - - -II - - -_It is later in the evening of the same day, and this is such a -street as harbours London’s poor. The windows are so close to us -that we could tap on the only one which shows a light. It is on the -ground floor, and makes a gallant attempt to shroud this light with -articles of apparel suspended within. Seen as shadows through the -blind, these are somehow very like Miss Thing, and almost suggest -that she has been hanging herself in several places in one of her -bouts of energy. The street is in darkness, save for the meagre -glow from a street lamp, whose glass is painted red in obedience to -war regulations. It is winter time, and there is a sprinkling of -snow on the ground._ - -_Our_ POLICEMAN _appears in the street, not perhaps for the first -time this evening, and flashes his lantern on the suspect’s window, -whose signboard (boards again!) we now see bears this odd device_, - - _Celeste et Cie_. ———— _The Penny Friend._ - -_Not perhaps for the first time this evening he scratches his -head at it. Then he pounds off in pursuit of some client who -has just emerged with a pennyworth. We may imagine the two of -them in conversation in the next street, the law putting leading -questions. Meanwhile the ‘fourth’ wall of the establishment of -Celeste dissolves, but otherwise the street is as it was, and we -are now in the position of privileged persons looking in at her -window. It is a tiny room in which you could just swing a cat, and -here_ CINDERELLA _swings cats all and every evening. The chief -pieces of furniture are a table and a bench, both of which have a -suspicious appearance of having been made out of boards by some -handy character. There is a penny in the slot fireplace which has -evidently been lately fed, there is a piece of carpet that has been -beaten into nothingness, but is still a carpet, there is a hearth -rug of brilliant rags that is probably gratified when your toes -catch in it and you are hurled against the wall. Two pictures—one -of them partly framed—strike a patriotic note, but they may be -there purposely to deceive. The room is lit by a lamp, and at first -sight presents no sinister aspect unless it comes from four boxes -nailed against the walls some five or six feet from the floor. In -appearance they are not dissimilar to large grocery boxes, but it -is disquieting to note that one of them has been mended with the -board we saw lately in_ MR. BODIE’S _studio. When our_ POLICEMAN -_comes, as come we may be sure he will, the test of his acumen will -be his box action._ - -_The persons in the room at present have either no acumen or -are familiar with the boxes. There are four of them, besides_ -CINDERELLA, _whom we catch in the act of adding to her means of -livelihood. Celeste et Cie., a name that has caught her delicate -fancy while she dashed through fashionable quarters, is the Penny -Friend because here everything is dispensed for that romantic coin. -It is evident that the fame of the emporium has spread. Three -would be customers sit on the bench awaiting their turn listlessly -and as genteelly unconscious of each other as society in a -dentist’s dining-room, while in the centre is_ CINDERELLA _fitting -an elderly gentleman with a new coat. There are pins in her mouth -and white threads in the coat, suggesting that this is not her -first struggle with it, and one of the difficulties with which she -has to contend is that it has already evidently been the coat of a -larger man_. CINDERELLA _is far too astute a performer to let it be -seen that she has difficulties, however. She twists and twirls her -patron with careless aptitude, kneads him if need be, and has him -in a condition of pulp while she mutters for her own encouragement -and his intimidation the cryptic remarks employed by tailors, as -to the exact meaning of which she has already probed_ MR. BODIE. - - -CINDERELLA (_wandering over her client with a tape_). 35—14. (_She -consults a paper on the table._) Yes, it’s 35—14. - - (_She pulls him out, contracts him and takes his elbows - measure._) - -28—7; 41—12; 15—19. (_There is something wrong, and she has to -justify her handiwork._) You was longer when you came on Monday. - -GENTLEMAN (_very moved by the importance of the occasion_). Don’t -be saying that, Missy. - -CINDERELLA (_pinning up the tails of his coat_). Keep still. - -GENTLEMAN (_with unexpected spirit_). I warns you, Missy, I won’t -have it cut. - -CINDERELLA (_an artist_). I’ll give you the bits. - -GENTLEMAN. I prefers to wear them. - - (_She compares the coat with the picture of an elegant dummy._) - -Were you going to make me like that picture? - -CINDERELLA. I had just set my heart on copying this one. It’s the -Volupty. - -GENTLEMAN (_faint-hearted_). I’m thinkin’ I couldn’t stand like -that man. - -CINDERELLA (_eagerly_). Fine you could—with just a little practice. -I’ll let you see the effect. - - (_She bends one of his knees, extends an arm and curves the - other till he looks like a graceful teapot. She puts his - stick in one hand and his hat in the other, and he is now - coquettishly saluting a lady._) - -GENTLEMAN (_carried away as he looks at himself in a glass_). By -Gosh! Cut away, Missy! - -CINDERELLA. I’ll need one more try-on. (_Suddenly._) That’s to say -if I’m here. - -GENTLEMAN (_little understanding the poignancy of the remark_). If -it would be convenient to you to have the penny now— - -CINDERELLA. No, not till I’ve earned it. It’s my rule. Good night -to you, Mr. Jennings. - -GENTLEMAN. Good night, Missy. - - (_We see him go out by the door and disappear up the street._) - -CINDERELLA (_sharply_). Next. - - (_An old woman comes to the table and_ CINDERELLA _politely - pretends not to have seen her sitting there_.) - -It’s Mrs. Maloney! - -MRS. M. Cinders, I have a pain. It’s like a jag of a needle down my -side. - -CINDERELLA (_with a sinking, for she is secretly afraid of medical -cases_). Wait till I pop the therm-mo-mometer in. It’s a real one. -(_She says this with legitimate pride. She removes the instrument -from_ MRS. MALONEY’S _mouth after a prudent interval, and is not -certain what to do next._) - -Take a deep breath.... Again.... Say 99. (_Her ear is against the -patient’s chest._) - -MRS. M. 99. - -CINDERELLA (_at a venture_). Oho! - -MRS. M. It ain’t there the pain is—it’s down my side. - -CINDERELLA (_firmly_). We never say 99 down there. - -MRS. M. What’s wrong wi’ me? - -CINDERELLA (_candidly_). I don’t want for to pretend, Mrs. Maloney, -that the 99 is any guidance to me. I can _not_ find out what it’s -for. I would make so bold as to call your complaint muscular -rheumatics if the pain came when you coughed. But you have no cough. - -MRS. M. (_coming to close quarters_). No, but he has—my old man. -It’s him that has the pains, not me. - -CINDERELLA (_hurt_). What for did you pretend it was you? - -MRS. M. That was his idea. He was feared you might stop his smoking. - -CINDERELLA. And so I will. - -MRS. M. What’s the treatment? - -CINDERELLA (_writing after consideration on a piece of paper_). One -of them mustard leaves. - -MRS. M. (_taking the paper_). Is there no medicine? - -CINDERELLA (_faltering_). I’m a little feared about medicine, Mrs. -Maloney. - -MRS. M. He’ll be a kind of low-spirited if there’s not a lick of -medicine. - -CINDERELLA. Have you any in the house? - -MRS. M. There’s what was left over of the powders my lodger had -when the kettle fell on his foot. - -CINDERELLA. You could give him one of them when the cough is -troublesome. Good night, Mrs. Maloney. - -MRS. M. Thank you kindly. (_She puts a penny on the table._) - -CINDERELLA (_with polite surprise_). What’s that? - -MRS. M. It’s the penny. - -CINDERELLA. So it is! Good night, Mrs. Maloney. - -MRS. M. Good night, Cinders. - - (_She departs. The penny falls into_ CINDERELLA’S _box with - a pleasant clink_.) - -CINDERELLA. Next. - - (_A woman of 35 comes forward. She is dejected, thin-lipped, - and unlovable._) - -MARION (_tossing her head_). You’re surprised to see _me_, I -daresay. - -CINDERELLA (_guardedly_). I haven’t the pleasure of knowing you. - -MARION (_glancing at the remaining occupant of the bench_). Is that -man sleeping? Who is he? I don’t know him. - -CINDERELLA. He’s sleeping. What can I do for you? - -MARION (_harshly_). Nothing, I daresay. I’m at Catullo’s Buildings. -Now they’re turning me out. They say I’m not respectable. - -CINDERELLA (_enlightened_). You’re—that woman? - -MARION (_defiantly_). That’s me. - -CINDERELLA (_shrinking_). I don’t think there’s nothing I could do -for you. - -MARION (_rather appealing_). Maybe there is. I see you’ve heard my -story. They say there’s a man comes to see me at times though he -has a wife in Hoxton. - -CINDERELLA. I’ve heard. - -MARION. So I’m being turned out. - -CINDERELLA. I don’t think it’s a case for me. - -MARION. Yes, it is. - -CINDERELLA. Are you terrible fond of him? - -MARION. Fond of him! Damn him! - - (CINDERELLA _shrinks_. MARION _makes sure that the man is - asleep_.) - -Cinders, they’ve got the story wrong; it’s me as is his wife; I was -married to him in a church. He met that woman long after and took -up with her. - -CINDERELLA. What! Then why do you not tell the truth? - -MARION. It’s my pride keeps me from telling. I would rather be -thought to be the wrong ’un he likes than the wife the law makes -him help. - -CINDERELLA. Is that pride? - -MARION. It’s all the pride that’s left to me. - -CINDERELLA. I’m awful sorry for you, but I can’t think of no advice -to give you. - -MARION. It’s not advice I want. - -CINDERELLA. What is it then? - -MARION. It’s pity. I fling back all the gutter words they fling at -me, but my heart, Cinders, is wet at times. It’s wet for one to -pity me. - -CINDERELLA. I pity you. - -MARION. You’ll tell nobody? - -CINDERELLA. No. - -MARION. Can I come in now and again at a time? - -CINDERELLA. I’ll be glad to see you—if I’m here. - -MARION. I’ll be slipping away now; he’s waking up. (_She puts down -her penny._) - -CINDERELLA. I’m not doing it for no penny. - -MARION. You’ve got to take it. That’s my pride. But—I wish you -well, Cinders. - -CINDERELLA. I like you. I wish you would wish me luck. Say ‘Good -luck to you to-night, Cinderella.’ - -MARION. Why to-night? - - (_The little waif, so practical until now, is afire inside - again. She needs a confidant almost as much as_ MARION.) - -CINDERELLA (_hastily_). You see— - - (_The man sits up._) - -MAN. Good evening, Missis. - -MARION. Good luck to you to-night, Cinderella. - - (_She goes._) - - (_The man slips forward and lifts the penny._) - -CINDERELLA (_returning to earth sharply_). Put that down. - -MAN. I was only looking at the newness of it. I was just admiring -the design. - - (_The newness and the design both disappear into the box. - A bearded person wearing the overalls of a sea-faring man - lurches down the street and enters the emporium. Have we - seen him before? Who can this hairy monster be?_) - -POLICEMAN (_in an incredibly gruff voice_). I want a pennyworth. - -CINDERELLA (_unsuspecting_). Sit down. (_She surveys the coster._) -It’s you that belongs to the shirt, isn’t it? - -MAN. Yes; is’t ready? - -CINDERELLA. It’s ready. - - (_It proves to be not a shirt, but a ‘front’ of linen, - very stiff and starched. The laundress cautiously retains - possession of it._) - -The charge is a penny. - -MAN. On delivery. - -CINDERELLA. Before delivery. - -MAN. Surely you can trust me. - -CINDERELLA. You’ve tried that on before, my man. Never again! All -in this street knows my rule,—Trust in the Lord—every other person, -cash. - - (_A penny and a ‘shirt’ pass between them and he departs._) - - (CINDERELLA _turns her attention to the newcomer_.) - -What’s your pleasure? - -POLICEMAN. Shave, please. - -CINDERELLA (_quivering before his beard_). Shave! I shaves in an -ordinary way, but I don’t know as I could tackle that. - -POLICEMAN. I thought you was a barber. - -CINDERELLA (_stung_). I’ll get the lather. - - (_She goes doubtfully into what she calls her bedroom._ - - _He seizes this opportunity to survey the room. A - remarkable man this, his attention is at once riveted on - the boxes, but before he can step on a chair and take a - peep the barber returns with the implements of her calling. - He reaches his chair in time not to be caught by her. She - brings in a bowl of soap and water and a towel, which she - puts round him in the correct manner._) - -CINDERELLA. You’re thin on the top. - -POLICEMAN (_in his winding sheet_). I’ve all run to beard. - -CINDERELLA (_the ever ready_). I have a ointment for the hair; it -is my own invention. The price is a penny. - -POLICEMAN (_gruffly_). Beard, please. - -CINDERELLA. I’ve got some voice drops. - -POLICEMAN. Beard, please. - -CINDERELLA (_as she prepares the lather_). Is the streets quiet? - -POLICEMAN (_cunningly_). Hereabouts they are; but there’s great -doings in the fashionable quarters. A ball, I’m told. - -CINDERELLA (_gasping_). You didn’t see no peculiar person about in -this street? - -POLICEMAN. How peculiar? - -CINDERELLA. Like a—a flunkey? - -POLICEMAN. Did I now—or did I not? - -CINDERELLA (_eagerly_). He would be carrying an invite maybe; it’s -a big card. - -POLICEMAN. I can’t say I saw him. - - (_Here an astonishing thing happens. The head of a child - rises from one of the boxes. She is unseen by either of the - mortals._) - -CINDERELLA (_considering the beard_). How do I start with the like -of this? - -POLICEMAN. First you saws.... - - (_She attempts to saw. The beard comes off in her hand._) - -CINDERELLA (_recognising his face_). You! - -POLICEMAN (_stepping triumphantly out of his disguise_). Me! - - (_As sometimes happens, however, the one who means to - give the surprise gets a greater. At sight of his dreaded - uniform the child screams, whereat two other children in - other boxes bob up and scream also. It is some time before - the policeman can speak._) - -So that’s what the boxes was for! - -CINDERELLA (_feebly_). Yes. - -POLICEMAN (_portentously_). Who and what are these phenomenons? - -CINDERELLA (_protectingly_). Don’t be frightened, children. Down! - - (_They disappear obediently._) - -There’s no wrong in it. They’re just me trying to do my bit. It’s -said all should do their bit in war-time. It was into a hospital -I wanted to go to nurse the wounded soldiers. I offered myself -at every hospital door, but none would have me, so this was all I -could do. - -POLICEMAN. You’re taking care of them? - - (_She nods._) - -Sounds all right. Neighbours’ children? - -CINDERELLA. The brown box is. She’s half of an orphan, her father’s -a bluejacket, so, of course, I said I would. - -POLICEMAN. You need say no more. I pass little bluejacket. - -CINDERELLA. Those other two is allies. She’s French—and her’s a -Belgy—(_calls_). Marie-Therese. - - (_The French child sits up._) - -Speak your language to the gentleman, Marie-Therese. - -MARIE. Bon soir, monsieur—comment portez-vous? Je t’aime. (_She -curtseys charmingly to him from the box._) - -POLICEMAN. Well, I’m ——d! - -CINDERELLA. Delphine. - - (_The Belgian looks up._) - -Make votre bow. - -Gladys! - - (_The English child bobs up._) - -A friend, Gladys. - - (GLADYS _and the policeman grin to each other_.) - -GLADYS. What cheer! - -CINDERELLA. Monsieur is a Britain’s defender. - -MARIE. Oh, la, la! Parlez-vous français, monsieur? Non! I blow you -two kisses, monsieur—the one is to you (_kisses hand_) to keep, the -other you will give—(_kisses hand_) to Kitch. - -POLICEMAN (_writing_). Sends kiss to Lord Kitchener. - -CINDERELLA. She’s the one that does most of the talking. - -POLICEMAN (_who is getting friendly_). I suppose that other box is -an empty. - - (CINDERELLA’S _mouth closes_.) - -Is that box empty? - -CINDERELLA. It’s not exactly empty. - -POLICEMAN. What’s inside? - -CINDERELLA. She’s the littlest. - - (_The children exchange glances and she is severe._) - -Couchy. - - (_They disappear._) - -POLICEMAN. An ally? - -CINDERELLA. She’s—she’s—Swiss. - -POLICEMAN (_lowering_). Now then! - -CINDERELLA. She’s not exactly Swiss. You can guess now what she is. - -POLICEMAN (_grave_). This puts me in a very difficult position. - -CINDERELLA (_beginning to cry_). Nobody would take her. She was -left over. I tried not to take her. I’m a patriot, I am. But there -she was—left over—and her so terrible little—I couldn’t help taking -her. - -POLICEMAN. I dunno. (_Quite unfairly._) If her folk had been in -your place and you in hers, they would have shown neither mercy nor -pity for you. - -CINDERELLA (_stoutly_). That makes no difference. - -POLICEMAN (_Was this the great moment?_). I think there’s something -uncommon about you. - -CINDERELLA (_pleased_). About _me_? - -POLICEMAN. I suppose she’s sleeping. - -CINDERELLA. Not her! - -POLICEMAN. What’s she doing? - -CINDERELLA. She’s strafing! - -POLICEMAN. Who’s she strafing? - -CINDERELLA. Very likely you. She misses nobody. You see I’ve put -some barb-wire round her box. - -POLICEMAN. I see now. - -CINDERELLA. It’s not really barb-wire. It’s worsted. I was feared -the wire would hurt her. But it just makes a difference. - -POLICEMAN. How do the others get on with her? - -CINDERELLA. I makes them get on with her. Of course there’s tongues -out, and little things like that. - -POLICEMAN. Were the foreign children shy of you at first? - -CINDERELLA. Not as soon as they heard my name. ‘Oh, are you -Cinderella?’ they said, in their various languages—and ‘when’s the -ball?’ they said. - -POLICEMAN. Somebody must have telled them about you. - -CINDERELLA (_happy_). Not here. They had heard about me in their -foreign lands. Everybody knows Cinderella, it’s fine. Even -her—(_indicating German_) the moment I mentioned my name—‘Where’s -your ugly sisters?’ says she, looking round. - -POLICEMAN. Sisters? It’s new to me, your having sisters. (_He -produces his note book._) - -CINDERELLA (_uneasily_). It’s kind of staggering to me, too. I -haven’t been able to manage them yet, but they’ll be at the ball. - -POLICEMAN. It’s queer. - -CINDERELLA. It _is_ queer. - -POLICEMAN. (_sitting down with her_). How do you know this ball’s -to-night? - -CINDERELLA. It had to be some night. You see, after I closes my -business I have chats with the children about things, and naturally -it’s mostly about the ball. I put it off as long as I could, but it -had to be some night—and this is the night. - -POLICEMAN. You mean it’s make-believe? - -CINDERELLA (_almost fiercely_). None of that! - -POLICEMAN (_shaking his head_). I don’t like it. - -CINDERELLA (_shining_). You wouldn’t say that if you heard the -blasts on the trumpet and loud roars of ‘Make way for the Lady -Cinderella!’ - - (_Three heads pop up again._) - -POLICEMAN. Lady? - -CINDERELLA (_in a tremble of exultation_). That’s me. That’s what -you’re called at royal balls. Then loud huzzas is heard outside -from the excited popu-lace, for by this time the fame of my beauty -has spread like wild-fire through the streets, and folks is hanging -out at windows and climbing lamp-posts to catch a sight of me. - - (_Delight of the children._) - -POLICEMAN. My sakes, you see the whole thing clear! - -CINDERELLA. I see it from beginning to end—like as if I could touch -it—the gold walls and the throne, and the lamp-posts and the horses. - -POLICEMAN. The horses? - -CINDERELLA. ... Well, the competitors. The speeches—everything. If -only I had my invite! That wasn’t a knock at the door, was it? - -POLICEMAN (_so carried away that he goes to see_). No. - -CINDERELLA (_vindictively_). I daresay that flunkey’s sitting -drinking in some public-house. - - (_Here_ MARIE-THERESE _and_ GLADYS, _who have been - communicating across their boxes, politely invite the_ - POLICEMAN _to go away_.) - -MARIE. Bonne nuit, Monsieur. - -GLADYS. Did you say you was going, Mister? - -POLICEMAN. They’re wonderful polite. - -CINDERELLA. I doubt that’s not politeness. The naughties—they’re -asking you to go away. - -POLICEMAN. Oh! (_He rises with hauteur._) - -CINDERELLA. You see we’re to have a bite of supper before I -start—to celebrate the night. - -POLICEMAN. Supper with the kids! When I was a kid in the country at -Badgery—you’ve done it again! - -CINDERELLA. Done what? - -POLICEMAN (_with that strange feeling of being at home_). I suppose -I would be in the way? - -CINDERELLA. There’s not very much to eat. There’s just one for each. - -POLICEMAN. I’ve had my supper. - -CINDERELLA (_seeing her way_). Have you? Then I would be very -pleased if you would stay. - -POLICEMAN. Thank you kindly. - - (_She prepares the table for the feast. Eyes sparkle from - the boxes._) - -CINDERELLA (_shining_). This is the first party we’ve ever had. -Please keep an eye on the door in case there’s a knock. - - (_She darts into her bedroom, and her charges are more at - their ease._) - -MARIE (_sitting up, the better to display her nightgown_). -Monsieur, Monsieur, Voilà! - -GLADYS. Cinderella made it out of watching a shop window. - -POLICEMAN (_like one who has known his hostess from infancy_). Just -like her. - -MARIE (_holding up a finger that is adorned with a ring_). Monsieur! - -GLADYS (_more practical_). The fire’s going out. - -POLICEMAN (_recklessly_). In with another penny. (_He feeds the -fire with that noble coin._) Fellow allies, I’m just going to take -a peep into the German trench! Hah! - - (_He stealthily mounts a chair and puts his hand into - Gretchen’s box. We must presume that it is bitten by the - invisible occupant, for he withdraws it hurriedly to the - hearty delight of the spectators. This mirth changes to - rapture as_ CINDERELLA _makes a conceited entrance carrying - a jug of milk and five hot potatoes in their jackets. - Handsomely laden as she is, it is her attire that calls - forth the applause. She is now wearing the traditional - short brown dress of_ CINDERELLA, _and her hair hangs - loose. She tries to look modest._) - -CINDERELLA (_displaying herself_). What do you think? - -POLICEMAN (_again in Badgery_). Great! Turn round. And I suppose -you made it yourself out of a shop window? - -CINDERELLA. No, we didn’t need no shop window; we all knew exactly -what I was wearing when the knock came. - -GLADYS. Of course we did. - - (_A potato is passed up to each and a cup of milk between - two. There is also a delicious saucerful of melted lard - into which they dip._ GRETCHEN _is now as much in evidence - as the others, and quite as attractive—the fun becomes fast - and furious_.) - -CINDERELLA (_to_ POLICEMAN). A potato? - -POLICEMAN. No, I thank you. - -CINDERELLA. Just a snack? - -POLICEMAN. Thank you. - - (_She shares with him._) - -CINDERELLA. A little dip? - -POLICEMAN. No, I thank you. - -CINDERELLA. Just to look friendly. - -POLICEMAN. I thank you. (_Dipping._) To you, Cinderella. - -CINDERELLA. I thank you. - -POLICEMAN (_proposing a toast_). The King! - -CINDERELLA (_rather consciously_). And the Prince of Wales. - -GLADYS. And father. - -POLICEMAN. The King, the Prince of Wales, and father. - - (_The toast is drunk, dipped and eaten with acclamation._ - GLADYS, _uninvited, recites ‘The Mariners of England.’_ - MARIE-THERESE _follows (without waiting for the end) with - the Marseillaise, and_ GRETCHEN _puts out her tongue at - both. Our_ POLICEMAN _having intimated that he desires to - propose another toast of a more lengthy character, the - children are lifted down and placed in their nightgowns at - the table_.) - -POLICEMAN (_suddenly becoming nervous_). I have now the honour to -propose absent friends. - -GLADYS (_with an inspiration to which_ MARIE-THERESE _bows -elegantly_). Vive la France! - -POLICEMAN. I mean our friends at the Front. And they have their -children, too. Your boxes we know about, but I daresay there’s many -similar and even queerer places, where the children, the smallest -of our allies, are sleeping this night within the sound of shells. - -MARIE. La petite Belgique. La pauvre enfant! - -DELPHINE (_proudly_). Me! - -POLICEMAN. So here’s to absent friends— - -GLADYS (_with another inspiration_). Absent boxes! - -POLICEMAN. Absent boxes! And there’s a party we know about who -would like uncommon to have the charge of the lot of them—(_looking -at Cinderella_). And I couples the toast with the name of the said -party. - -CINDERELLA (_giving a pennyworth for nothing_). Kind friends, it -would be pretending of me not to let on that I know I am the party -referred to by the last speaker—in far too flattersome words. When -I look about me and see just four boxes I am a kind of shamed, but -it wasn’t very convenient to me to have more. I will now conclude -by saying I wish I was the old woman that lived in a shoe, and it -doesn’t matter how many I had I would have known fine what to do. -The end. - -(_After further diversion._) It’s a fine party. I hope your potato -is mealy? - -POLICEMAN. I never had a better tatie. - -CINDERELLA. Don’t spare the skins. - -POLICEMAN. But you’re eating nothing yourself. - -CINDERELLA. I’m not hungry. And, of course, I’ll be expected to -take a bite at the ball. - - (_This reminder of the ball spoils the_ POLICEMAN’S _enjoyment_.) - -POLICEMAN. I wish—you wasn’t so sure of the ball. - -GLADYS (_in defence_). Why shouldn’t she not be sure of it? - -DELPHINE. Pourquoi, Monsieur? - -CINDERELLA (_rather hotly_). Don’t say things like that here. - -MARIE. Has Monsieur by chance seen God-mamma coming? - -POLICEMAN. God-mamma? - -CINDERELLA. That’s my Godmother; she brings my ball dress and a -carriage with four ponies. - -GLADYS. Then away she goes to the ball—hooray—hooray! - -CINDERELLA. It’s all perfectly simple once Godmother comes. - -POLICEMAN (_with unconscious sarcasm_). I can see she’s important. - -CINDERELLA (_with the dreadful sinking that comes to her at -times_). You think she’ll come, don’t you? - -POLICEMAN. Cinderella, your hand’s burning—and in this cold room. - -CINDERELLA. Say you think she’ll come. - -POLICEMAN. I—well, I.... I.... - -GLADYS (_imploringly_). Say it, Mister! - -DELPHINE (_begging_). Monsieur! Monsieur! - -MARIE. If it is that you love me, Monsieur! - -POLICEMAN (_in distress_). I question of there was ever before a -member of the Force in such a position. (_Yielding._) I expect -she’ll come. - - (_This settles it in the opinion of the children, but their - eyes are too bright for such a late hour, and they are ordered - to bed. Our_ POLICEMAN _replaces them in their boxes_.) - -CINDERELLA. One—two—three . . . couchy! - - (_They disappear._) - -POLICEMAN (_awkwardly and trying to hedge_). Of course this is an -out-of-the-way little street for a Godmother to find. - -CINDERELLA. Yes, I’ve thought of that. I’d best go and hang about -outside; she would know me by my dress. - -POLICEMAN (_hastily_). I wouldn’t do that. It’s a cold night. (_He -wanders about the room eyeing her sideways._) Balls is always late -things. - -CINDERELLA. I’m none so sure. In war-time, you see, with the -streets so dark and the King so kind, it would be just like him to -begin early and close at ten instead of twelve. I must leave before -twelve. If I don’t, there’s terrible disasters happens. - -POLICEMAN (_unable to follow this_). The ball might be put off -owing to the Prince of Wales being in France. - -CINDERELLA. He catched the last boat. I’ll go out and watch. - -POLICEMAN (_desperate_). Stay where you are, and—and I’ll have a -look for her. - -CINDERELLA. You’re too kind. - -POLICEMAN. Not at all. I must be stepping at any rate. If I can -lay hands on her I’ll march her here, though I have to put the -handcuffs on her. - -GLADYS (_looking up_). I think I heard a knock! - - (_The_ POLICEMAN _looks out, shakes his head, and finally - departs after a queer sort of handshake with_ MISS THING.) - -CINDERELLA. He’s a nice man. - -GLADYS. Have you known him long? - -CINDERELLA (_thinking it out_). A longish time. He’s head of the -secret police; him and me used to play together as children down in -Badgery. His folks live in a magnificent castle, with two doors. -(_She becomes a little bewildered._) I’m all mixed up. - - (_The children are soon asleep. She wanders aimlessly to - the door. The wall closes on the little room, and we now - see her standing in the street. Our_ POLICEMAN _returns and - flashes his lantern on her_.) - -CINDERELLA. It’s you! - -POLICEMAN. It’s me. But there’s no Godmother! There’s not a -soul.... No.... Good night, Cinderella. Go inside. - -CINDERELLA (_doggedly_). Not me! I don’t feel the cold—not much. -And one has to take risks to get a Prince. The only thing I’m -feared about is my feet. If they was to swell I mightn’t be able -to get the slippers on, and he would have naught to do with me. - -POLICEMAN. What slippers? If you won’t go back, I’ll stop here with -you. - -CINDERELLA. No, I think there’s more chance of her coming if I’m -alone. - -POLICEMAN. I’m very troubled about you. - -CINDERELLA (_wistfully_). Do you think I’m just a liar? Maybe I am. -You see I’m all mixed up. I’m sore in need of somebody to help me -out. - -POLICEMAN. I would do it if I could. - -CINDERELLA. I’m sure. (_Anxiously_.) Are you good at riddles? - - (_He shakes his head._) - -There’s always a riddle before you can marry into a royal family. - -POLICEMAN (_with increased gloom_). The whole thing seems to be -most terrible difficult. - -CINDERELLA. Yes.... Good night. - -POLICEMAN. You won’t let me stay with you? - -CINDERELLA. No. - - (_He puts his lantern on the ground beside her._) - -What’s that for? - -POLICEMAN (_humbly_). It’s just a sort of guard for you. (_He takes -off his muffler and puts it several times round her neck._) - -CINDERELLA. Nice! - -POLICEMAN. Good luck! - - (_She finds it easiest just to nod in reply._) - -I wish I was a Prince. - -CINDERELLA (_suddenly struck by the idea_). You’re kind of like him. - - (_He goes away. She sits down on the step to wait. She - shivers. She takes the muffler off her neck and winds it - round her more valuable feet. She falls asleep._ - - _Darkness comes, and snow. From somewhere behind, the - shadowy figure of_ CINDERELLA’S _Godmother, beautiful in - a Red Cross Nurse’s uniform, is seen looking benignantly - on the waif_. CINDERELLA _is just a little vague, huddled - form—there is no movement_.) - -GODMOTHER. Cinderella, my little godchild! - -CINDERELLA (_with eyes unopening_). Is that you, Godmother? - -GODMOTHER. It is I; my poor god-daughter is all mixed up, and I -have come to help her out. - -CINDERELLA. You have been long in coming. I very near gave you up. - -GODMOTHER. Sweetheart, I couldn’t come sooner, because in these -days, you know, even the fairy godmother is with the Red Cross. - -CINDERELLA. Was that the reason? I see now; I thought perhaps you -kept away because I wasn’t a good girl. - -GODMOTHER. You have been a good brave girl; I am well pleased with -my darling godchild. - -CINDERELLA. It is fine to be called darling; it heats me up. I’ve -been wearying for it, Godmother. Life’s a kind of hard. - -GODMOTHER. It will always be hard to you, Cinderella. I can’t -promise you anything else. - -CINDERELLA. I don’t suppose I could have my three wishes, Godmother. - -GODMOTHER. I am not very powerful in these days, Cinderella; but -what are your wishes? - -CINDERELLA. I would like fine to have my ball, Godmother. - -GODMOTHER. You shall have your ball. - -CINDERELLA. I would like to nurse the wounded. - -GODMOTHER. You shall nurse the wounded. - -CINDERELLA. I would like to be loved by the man of my choice, -Godmother. - -GODMOTHER. You shall be loved by the man of your choice. - -CINDERELLA. Thank you kindly. The ball first, if you please, and -could you squeeze in the children so that they may see me in my -glory. - -GODMOTHER. Now let this be my downtrodden godchild’s ball, not as -balls are, but as they are conceived to be in a little chamber in -Cinderella’s head. - - (_She fades from sight. In the awful stillness we can - now hear the tiny clatter of horses infinitely small and - infinitely far off. It is the equipage of_ CINDERELLA. - _Then an unearthly trumpet sounds thrice, and the darkness - is blown away._ - - _It is the night of the most celebrated ball in history, - and we see it through our heroine’s eyes. She has, as it - were, made everything with her own hands, from the cloths - of gold to the ices._ - - _Nearly everything in the ball-room is of gold: it was - only with an effort that she checked herself from dabbing - gold on the regal countenances. You can see that she has - not passed by gin-palaces without thinking about them. - The walls and furniture are so golden that you have but - to lean against them to acquire a competency. There is a - golden throne with gold cloths on it, and the royal seats - are three golden rocking chairs; there would be a fourth - golden rocking chair if it were not that_ CINDERELLA _does - not want you to guess where she is to sit. These chairs - are stuffed to a golden corpulency. The panoply of the - throne is about twenty feet high—each foot of pure gold; - and nested on the top of it is a golden reproduction of - the grandest thing_ CINDERELLA _has ever seen—the private - box of a theatre. In this box sit, wriggle, and sprawl - the four children in their nightgowns, leaning over the - golden parapet as if to the manner born and carelessly - kicking nuggets out of it. They are shouting, pointing, and - otherwise behaving badly, eating oranges out of paper bags, - then blowing out the bags and bursting them. The superb - scene is lit by four street lamps with red glass. Dancing - is going on: the ladies all in white, the gentlemen in - black with swords. If you were unused to royal balls you - would think every one of these people was worth describing - separately; but, compared to what is coming, it may be said - that_ CINDERELLA _has merely pushed them on with her lovely - foot. They are her idea of courtiers, and have anxious - expressions as if they knew she was watching them. They - have character in the lump, if we may put it that way, - but none individually. Thus one cannot smile or sigh, for - instance, without all the others smiling or sighing. At - night they probably sleep in two large beds, one for ladies - and one for gentlemen, and if one of the ladies, say, wants - to turn round, she gives the signal, and they all turn - simultaneously. As children they were not like this; they - had genuine personal traits, but these have gradually been - blotted out as they basked in royal favour; thus, if the_ - KING _wipes his glasses they all pretend that their glasses - need wiping, and when the_ QUEEN _lets her handkerchief - fall they all stoop loyally to pick up their own_. - - _Down the golden steps at the back comes the_ LORD MAYOR, - _easily recognisable by his enormous chain_.) - -LORD MAYOR. O yes, O yes, make way everyone for the Lord -Mayor—namely myself. - - (_They all make way for him. Two black boys fling open - lovely curtains._) - -O yes, O yes, make way every one, and also myself, for Lord Times. - - (_This is a magnificent person created by_ CINDERELLA _on - learning from_ MR. BODIE _that the press is all powerful - and that the ‘Times’ is the press. He carries one hand - behind his back, as if it might be too risky to show the - whole of himself at once, and it is noticeable that as he - walks his feet do not quite touch the ground. He is the - only person who is not a little staggered by the amount - of gold: you almost feel that he thinks there is not - quite enough of it. He very nearly sits down on one of - the royal rocking chairs: and the_ LORD MAYOR, _looking - red and unhappy, and as if he had now done for himself, - has to whisper to him that the seats under the throne are - reserved_.) - -O yes, O yes, make way for the Censor. - - (CINDERELLA _has had a good deal of trouble over this - person, of whom she has heard a great deal in war-time, - without meeting anyone who can tell her what he is like. - She has done her best, and he is long and black and thin, - dressed as tightly as a fish, and carries an executioner’s - axe. All fall back from him in fear, except_ LORD TIMES, - _who takes a step forward, and then the_ CENSOR _falls - back_.) - -O yes, O yes, make way everybody for his Royal Highness the King, -and his good lady the Queen. - - (_The_ KING _and_ QUEEN _are attired like their portraits - on playing cards, who are the only royalties_ CINDERELLA - _has seen, and they advance grandly to their rocking - chairs, looking as if they thought the whole public was - dirt, but not so much despised dirt as dirt with good - points._ LORD TIMES _fixes them with his eye, and the_ KING - _hastily crosses and shakes hands with him_.) - -O yes, O yes, make way everyone, except the King, and Queen, and -Lord Times, for His Highness Prince Hard-to-Please. - - (_The heir apparent comes, preceded by trumpeters. His - dress may a little resemble that of the extraordinary - youth seen by_ CINDERELLA _in her only pantomime, but - what quite takes our breath away is his likeness to our_ - POLICEMAN. _If the ball had taken place a night earlier - it may be hazarded that the_ PRINCE _would have presented - quite a different face. It is as if_ CINDERELLA’S _views of - his personality had undergone some unaccountable change, - confusing even to herself, and for a moment the whole scene - rocks, the street lamps wink, and odd shadows stalk among - the courtiers, shadows of_ MR. BODIE, MARION, _and the - party in an unfinished coat, who have surely no right to be - here. This is only momentarily; then the palace steadies - itself again._ - - _The_ KING _rises, and in stately manner addresses his - guests in the words Cinderella conceives to be proper - to his royal mouth. As he stands waiting superbly for - the applause to cease, he holds on to a strap hanging - conveniently above his head. To_ CINDERELLA _strap-hanging - on the Underground has been a rare and romantic privilege._) - -KING. My loyal subjects, all ’ail! I am as proud of you as you are -of me. It gives me and my good lady much pleasure to see you ’ere -by special invite, feasting at our expense. There is a paper bag -for each, containing two sandwiches, buttered on both sides, a -piece of cake, a hard-boiled egg, and an orange or a banana. - - (_The cheers of the delighted courtiers gratify him, but - the vulgar children over his head continue their rub-a-dub - on the parapet until he glares up at them. Even then they - continue._) - -Ladies and Gents all, pleasant though it is to fill up with good -victuals, that is not the chief object of this royal invite. We are -’ere for a solemn purpose, namely, to find a mate for our noble -son. All the beauties are waiting in the lobby: no wonder he is -excited. - - (_All look at the_ PRINCE, _who is rocking and yawning_.) - -He will presently wake up; but first I want to say—(_here he -becomes conscious of_ LORD TIMES). What is it? - -LORD TIMES. Less talk. - -KING. Certainly. (_He sits down._) - -PRINCE (_encouraged to his feet by various royal nudges_). My liege -King and Queen-Mother, you can have the competitors brought in, and -I will take a look at them; but I have no hope. My curse is this, -that I am a scoffer about females. I can play with them for a idle -hour and then cast them from me even as I cast this banana skin. I -can find none so lovely that I may love her for aye from the depths -of my passionate heart. I am so blasted particular. O yes! O yes! -(_He sits down and looks helpless._) - -KING (_undismayed_). All ready? - - (_The_ LORD MAYOR _bows_.) - -All is ready, my son. - -PRINCE (_bored_). Then let loose the Beauts. - - (_To heavenly music from the royal hurdy-gurdies the_ - BEAUTIES _descend the stairs, one at a time. There are a - dozen of the fine creatures, in impudent confections such - as_ CINDERELLA _has seen in papers in_ MR. BODIE’S _studio; - some of them with ropes of hair hanging down their proud - backs as she has seen them in a hair-dresser’s window. As - we know, she has once looked on at a horse show, and this - has coloured her conception of a competition for a prince. - The ladies prance round the ball-room like high-stepping - steeds; it is evident that_ CINDERELLA _has had them fed - immediately before releasing them; her pride is to show - them at their very best, and then to challenge them._ - - _They paw the floor wantonly until_ LORD TIMES _steps - forward. Peace thus restored_, HIS MAJESTY _proceeds_.) - -KING. The first duty of a royal consort being to be _good_, the -test of goodness will now be applied by the Lord Mayor. Every -competitor who does not pass in goodness will be made short work of. - - (_Several ladies quake, and somewhere or other unseen_ - CINDERELLA _is chuckling_.) - -ONE OF THE STEEDS. I wasn’t told about this. It isn’t fair. - -LORD MAYOR (_darkly_). If your Grace wishes to withdraw— - - (_She stamps._) - -KING. The Lord Mayor will now apply the test. - -LORD MAYOR (_to a gold page_). The therm-mo-ometers, boy! - - (_A whole boxful of thermometers is presented to him by - the page on bended knee. The_ LORD MAYOR _is now in his - element. He has ridden in gold coaches and knows what - hussies young women often are. To dainty music he trips up - the line of beauties and pops a tube into each pouting - mouth. The competitors circle around, showing their paces - while he stands, watch in hand, giving them two minutes. - Then airily he withdraws the tubes; he is openly gleeful - when he finds sinners. Twice he is in doubt, it is a very - near thing, and he has to consult the_ KING _in whispers: - the_ KING _takes the_ QUEEN _aside, to whisper behind - the door as it were; then they both look at_ LORD TIMES, - _who, without even stepping forward, says ‘No’—and the - doubtfuls are at once bundled out of the chamber with the - certainties. Royalty sighs, and the courtiers sigh and - the_ LORD MAYOR _sighs in a perfunctory way, but there - is a tossing of manes from the beauties who have scraped - through_.) - -KING (_stirring up the_ PRINCE, _who has fallen asleep_). Our Royal -Bud will now graciously deign to pick out a few possibles. - - (_His Royal Highness yawns._) - -LORD MAYOR (_obsequiously_). If your Highness would like a little -assistance— - -PRINCE (_you never know how they will take things_). We shall do -this for ourselves, my good fellow. - - (_He smacks the_ LORD MAYOR’S _face with princely elegance. - The_ LORD MAYOR _takes it as a favour, and the courtiers - gently smack each other’s faces and are very proud to - be there. The_ PRINCE _moves languidly down the line of - beauties considering their points, occasionally nodding - approval but more often screwing up his nose. The courtiers - stand ready with nods or noses. Several ladies think - they have been chosen, but he has only brought them into - prominence to humiliate them; he suddenly says ‘Good-bye,’ - and they have to go, while he is convulsed with merriment. - He looks sharply at the courtiers to see if they are - convulsed also, and they are. The others are flung out._) - -QUEEN (_hanging on to her strap_). Does our Royal one experience no -palpitation at all? - -PRINCE (_sleepily_). Ah me, ah me! - -LORD TIMES (_irritated_). You’re well called ’Ard-to-Please. You -would turn up your nose at a lady though she were shaped like -Apollo’s bow. - - (_The_ PRINCE _shrugs his shoulder to indicate that love - cannot be forced_.) - -LORD MAYOR (_darkly_). And now we come to the severer test. - - (_With a neat action, rather like taking a lid off a pot, - the_ LORD MAYOR _lets it be known to the ladies that - they must now lift their skirts to show their feet. When - this devastating test is concluded, there are only two - competitors left in the room._) - -LORD TIMES (_almost as if he were thinking of himself_). Can’t have -Two. - - (_Cards such as_ CINDERELLA _saw at the horse show, with - ‘1st,’ ‘2nd,’ and ‘3rd’ on them, are handed to the_ PRINCE. - _Like one well used to such proceedings, he pins 2nd and - 3rd into the ladies’ bodices._) - -QUEEN (_gloomily_). But still no first. - - (_The_ CHILDREN _applaud; they have been interfering - repeatedly_.) - -KING. Come, come, proud youth, you feel no palps at all? - -PRINCE. Not a palp. Perhaps for a moment this one’s nose—that one’s -cock of the head—But it has passed. - - (_He drearily resumes his rocking chair. No one seems to - know what to do next._) - -MARIE (_to the rescue_). The two Ugly Sisters! Monsieur le Roi, the -two Ugly Sisters! (_She points derisively at the winners._) - -KING (_badgered_). How did these children get their invites? - - (_This is another thing that no one knows. Once more the - room rocks, and_ MR. BODIE _passes across it as if looking - for some one. Then a growing clamour is heard outside. - Bugles sound. The_ LORD MAYOR _goes and returns with - strange news_.) - -LORD MAYOR. Another competitor, my King. Make way for the Lady -Cinderella! - -KING. Cinderella? I don’t know her. - -GLADYS (_nearly falling out of the box_). You’ll soon know her. Now -you’ll see! Somebody wake the Prince up. - - (_The portals are flung open, and_ CINDERELLA _is seen - alighting from her lovely equipage, which we will not - describe because some one has described it before. But - note the little waggle of her foot just before she favours - the ground. We have thought a great deal about how our_ - CINDERELLA _should be dressed for this occasion: white of - course, and she looked a darling in it, but we boggle at - its really being of the grandest stuff and made in the shop - where the Beauties got theirs. No, the material came from - poorer warehouses in some shabby district not far from the - street of the penny shop; her eyes had glistened as she - gazed at it through the windows, and she paid for it with - her life’s blood, and made the frock herself. Very possibly - it was bunchy here and there._ - - CINDERELLA _then comes sailing down into the ball-room, not - a sound to be heard except the ecstatic shrieks of the four - children. She is modest but calmly confident; she knows - exactly what to do. She moves once round the room to show - her gown, then curtseys to the Royal personages; then, - turning to the_ LORD MAYOR, _opens her mouth and signs to - him to pop in the thermometer. He does it as in a dream. - Presently he is excitedly showing the thermometer to the_ - KING.) - -KING. Marvellous! 99! - - (_The cry is repeated from all sides. The_ QUEEN _hands - the_ KING _a long pin from her coiffure, and the_ PRINCE - _is again wakened_.) - -PRINCE (_with his hand to his brow_). What, another! Oh, all right; -but you know this is a dog’s life. (_He goes to_ CINDERELLA, _takes -one glance at her and resumes his chair_.) - -LORD MAYOR (_while the children blub_). That settles it, I think. -(_He is a heartless fellow._) That will do. Stand back, my girl. - -CINDERELLA (_calmly_). I don’t think. - -KING. It’s no good, you know. - -CINDERELLA (_curtseying_). Noble King, there is two bits of me -thy son hath not yet seen. I crave my rights. (_She points to the -two bits referred to, which are encased in the loveliest glass -slippers._) - -KING. True. Boy, do your duty. - -PRINCE. Oh, bother! - - (_Those words are the last spoken by him in his present - state. When we see him again, which is the moment - afterwards, he is translated. He looks the same, but so - does a clock into which new works have been put. The change - is effected quite simply by_ CINDERELLA _delicately raising - her skirt and showing him her foot. As the exquisite nature - of the sight thus vouchsafed to him penetrates his being a - tremor passes through his frame; his vices take flight from - him and the virtues enter. It is a heady wakening, and he - falls at her feet. The courtiers are awkward, not knowing - whether they should fall also._ CINDERELLA _beams to the - children, who utter ribald cries of triumph_.) - -KING (_rotating on his strap_). Give him air! Fill your lungs, my -son! - -QUEEN (_on hers_). My boy! My boy! - -LORD MAYOR (_quickly taking the royal cue_). Oh, lady fair! - - (_The_ PRINCE’S _palpitations increase in violence_.) - -QUEEN. Oh, happy sight! - -KING. Oh, glorious hour! - -LORD MAYOR (_not sure that he was heard the first time_). Oh, lady -fair! - - (_The_ PRINCE _springs to his feet. He is looking very - queer_.) - -LORD TIMES (_probably remembering how he looked once_). The Prince -is about to propose! - -LORD MAYOR. O yes, O yes, O yes! - -KING. Proceed, my son. - -PRINCE (_with lover-like contortions and addressing himself largely -to the feet_). Dew of the morning, garden of delight, sweet petals -of enchanted nights, the heavens have opened and through the chink -thou hast fallen at my feet, even as I fall at thine. Thou art not -one but twain, and these the twain—Oh, pretty feet on which my lady -walks, are they but feet? O no, O no, O no! They are so small I -cannot see them. Hie! A candle that I may see my lady’s feet! - - (_He kisses one foot, and she holds up the other for similar - treatment._) - -O Cinderella, if thou wilt deign to wife with me, I’ll do my best -to see that through the years you always walk on kisses. - - (_The courtiers resolve to walk on kisses for evermore._) - -LORD MAYOR. The Prince has proposed. The Lady Cinderella will now -reply. - -KING. Lovely creature, take pity on my royal son. - -QUEEN. Cinderella, be my daughter. - -LORD TIMES (_succinctly_). Yes, or no? - -CINDERELLA. There’s just one thing. Before I answer, I would like -that little glass thing to be put in his mouth. - -LORD MAYOR (_staggered_). The Ther-mo-mo-meter? - -KING. In our _Prince’s_ mouth! - -LORD TIMES. Why not? - -CINDERELLA. Just to make sure that he is good. - -PRINCE (_with a sinking_). Oh, I say! - -QUEEN. Of course he is good, Cinderella—he is our son. - -CINDERELLA (_doggedly_). I would like it put in his mouth. - -KING. But— - -PRINCE (_alarmed_). Pater! - -LORD TIMES. It must be done. - - (_The test is therefore made. The royal mouth has to open - to the thermometer, which is presently passed to the_ KING - _for examination. He looks very grave. The_ PRINCE _seizes - the tell-tale thing, and with a happy thought lets it fall_.) - -PRINCE. 99! - - (_The joyous cry is taken up by all, and_ CINDERELLA _goes - divinely on one knee to her lord and master_.) - -CINDERELLA (_simply_). I accepts. - -KING (_when the uproar has ceased_). All make merry! The fire is -going low. (_Recklessly._) In with another shilling! - - (_A shilling is dumped into the shilling-in-the-slot stove, - which blazes up. The_ PRINCE _puts his arm round his love_.) - -LORD TIMES (_again remembering his day of days_). My Prince, not so -fast. There is still the riddle. - -PRINCE. I had forgotten. - -CINDERELLA (_quaking_). I was feared there would be a riddle. - -KING (_prompted by_ LORD TIMES). Know ye all, my subjects, that -before blue blood can wed there is a riddle; and she who cannot -guess it—(_darkly_) is taken away and censored. - - (_The_ CENSOR _with his axe comes into sudden prominence - behind_ CINDERELLA _and the two other competitors_.) - -My Lord Times, the riddle! - -LORD TIMES. I hold in my one hand the riddle, and in the other -the answer in a sealed envelope, to prevent any suspicion of -hanky-panky. Third prize, forward! Now, my child, this is the -riddle. On the night of the Zeppelin raids, what was it that -everyone rushed to save first? - -3RD PRIZE. The children. - -LORD TIMES. Children not included. - - (_The lady is at a loss._) - -PRINCE. Time’s up! Hoo-ray! - - (_He signs callously to the_ CENSOR, _who disappears with - his victim through a side door, to reappear presently, - wiping his axe and skipping gaily_.) - -LORD TIMES. Second prize, forward. Now, Duchess, answer. - -2ND PRIZE. Her jewels! - - (LORD TIMES _shakes his head_.) - -PRINCE (_brightly_). Off with her head! Drown her in a bucket! - - (_The_ CENSOR _again removes the lady and does his fell work_.) - -LORD TIMES. First prize, forward. Now, Cinderella, answer. - - (_The_ CENSOR, _a kindly man but used to his calling, puts - his hand on her shoulder, to lead her away. She removes it - without looking at him._) - -CINDERELLA. It’s not a catch, is it? - -LORD TIMES (_hotly_). No, indeed. - -CINDERELLA. There’s just one thing all true Britons would be -anxious about. - -KING (_who has been allowed to break the envelope and read the -answer_). But what, Cinderella—what? - -LORD MAYOR (_hedging again_). What, chit? - -CINDERELLA. Their love-letters. - -KING and LORD TIMES (_together, but_ LORD TIMES _a little in -front_). The fair Cinderella has solved the riddle! - -LORD MAYOR (_promptly_). Oh, fair lady! - -CINDERELLA (_remembering the Venus_). There’s just one thing that -makes it not quite a perfect ball. I wanted Mrs. Bodie to be one of -the competitors—so as I could beat her. - -KING. Send for her at once. Take a taxi. - - (_A courtier rushes out whistling, and returns with_ VENUS, - _now imbued with life. Her arms go out wantonly to the_ - PRINCE. _He signs to the_ CENSOR, _who takes her away and - breaks her up_.) - -PRINCE. I crave a boon. The wedding at once, my lord. - - (LORD TIMES _signifies assent_.) - -KING. The marriage ceremony will now take place. - -CINDERELLA (_calling to the children_). Bridesmaids! - - (_They rush down and become her bridesmaids. At the top of - the stair appears a penguin—a penguin or a bishop, they - melt into each other on great occasions. The regal couple - kneel._) - -PENGUIN. Do you, O Prince, take this lady to be your delightful -wife—and to adore her for ever? - -PRINCE. I do, I do! Oh, I do, I do indeed! I do—I do—I do! - -PENGUIN. Do you, Cinderella, loveliest of your sex, take this -Prince for husband, and to love, honour, and obey him? - -CINDERELLA (_primly_). If you please. - -PENGUIN. The ring? - - (_It is_ MARIE-THERESE’S _great hour; she passes her ring - to_ CINDERELLA, _who is married in it. Triumphant music - swells out as a crown is put upon our Princess’s head, and - an extraordinary long train attached to her person. Her - husband and she move dreamily round the ball-room, the - children holding up the train._ LORD TIMES _with exquisite - taste falls in behind them. Then follow the courtiers, all - dreamily; and completing the noble procession is the_ LORD - MAYOR, _holding aloft on a pole an enormous penny. It has - the face of_ CINDERELLA _on one side of it—the penny which - to those who know life is the most romantic of coins unless - its little brother has done better._ - - _The music, despite better intentions, begins to lose its - head. It obviously wants to dance. Everyone wants to dance. - Even_ LORD TIMES _has trouble with his legs_.) - -KING (_threatening, supplicating_). Don’t dance yet. I’ve got a -surprise for you. Don’t dance. I haven’t told you about it, so as -to keep you on the wonder. - - (_In vain do they try to control themselves._) - -It’s ices! - - (_All stop dancing._) - -(_Hoarsely._) There’s an ice-cream for everybody. - - (_Amid applause the royal ice-cream barrow is wheeled on by - haughty menials who fill the paper sieves with dabs of the - luscious condiment. The paper sieves are of gold, but there - are no spoons. The children, drunk with expectation, forget - their manners and sit on the throne. Somehow_ CINDERELLA’S - _penny clients drift in again, each carrying a sieve._) - -None touches till one royal lick has been taken by us four.... (_He -gives them a toast._) To the Bridal Pair! - - (_At the royal word ‘Go!’_ ALL _attack the ices with their - tongues, greedily but gracefully. They end in the approved - manner by gobbling up the sieves. It is especially charming - to see the last of_ LORD TIME’S _sieve unbend. The music - becomes irresistible. If you did not dance you would be - abandoned by your legs. It is as if a golden coin had - been dropped into a golden slot. Ranks are levelled. The_ - KING _asks_ GLADYS _for this one; the_ QUEEN _is whisked - away by_ MR. BODIE. _Perhaps they dance like costers: if - you had time to reflect you might think it a scene in the - streets. It becomes too merry to last; couples are whirled - through the walls as if the floor itself were rotating: - soon_ CINDERELLA _and her_ PRINCE _dance alone. It is then - that the clock begins to strike twelve._ CINDERELLA _should - fly now, or woe befall her. Alas, she hears nothing save - the whispers of her lover. The hour has struck, and her - glorious gown shrinks slowly into the tattered frock of a - girl with a broom. Too late she huddles on the floor to - conceal the change. In another moment the_ PRINCE _must - see. The children gather round her with little cries, and, - spreading out their nightgowns to conceal her, rush her - from the scene. It is then that the_ PRINCE _discovers his - loss. In a frenzy he calls her sweet name. The bewildered - girl has even forgotten to drop the slipper, without - which he shall never find her._ MARIE-THERESE, _the - ever-vigilant, steals back with it, and leaves it on the - floor_. - - _The ball-room is growing dark. The lamps have gone out. - There is no light save the tiniest glow, which has been - showing on the floor all the time, unregarded by us. It - seems to come from a policeman’s lantern. The gold is all - washed out by the odd streaks of white that come down like - rain. Soon the_ PRINCE’S _cry of_ ‘CINDERELLA, CINDERELLA’ - _dies away. It is no longer a ball-room on which the - lantern sheds this feeble ray. It is the street outside_ - CINDERELLA’S _door, a white street now, silent in snow. The - child in her rags, the policeman’s scarf still round her - precious feet, is asleep on the door step, very little life - left in her, very little oil left in the lantern._) - - - - -III - - -_The retreat in which_ CINDERELLA _is to be found two months later -has been described to us by our policeman with becoming awe. It -seems to be a very pleasant house near the sea, and possibly in -pre-war days people were at ease in it. None of that, says the -policeman emphatically, with_ DR. BODIE _in charge. He could -wink discreetly at_ DR. BODIE _in absence, but was prepared to -say on oath that no one ever winked at her when she was present. -In the old days he had been more than a passive observer of the -suffragette in action, had even been bitten by them in the way of -business; had not then gone into the question of their suitability -for the vote, but liked the pluck of them; had no objection to his -feelings on the woman movement being summed up in this way, that -he had vaguely disapproved of their object, but had admired their -methods. After knowing_ DR. BODIE _he must admit that his views -about their object had undergone a change; was now a whole-hearted -supporter, felt in his bones that_ DR. BODIE _was born to command: -astonishing thing about her that she did it so natural-like. She -was not in the least mannish or bullying; she was a very ladylike -sort of person, a bit careful about the doing of her hair, and the -set of her hat, and she had a soft voice, though what you might -call an arbitrary manner. Very noticeable the way she fixed you -with her steely eye. In appearance she was very like her room -at the retreat, or the room was very like her; everything in -cruel good order, as you might say; an extraordinarily decorous -writing table near the centre, the sort of table against which -you instinctively stood and waited to make your deposition; the -friendliest thing in the room (to a policeman) was the book-cases -with wire doors, because the books looked through the wires at you -in a homely way like prisoners. It was a sunny room at times, but -this did not take away from its likeness to the doctor, who could -also smile on occasion._ - -_Into this room_ MR. BODIE _is shown on a summer afternoon by a -maid with no nonsense about her in working hours._ - - -MAID (_who knows that male visitors should be impressed at once_). -This way, sir; I shall see whether Dr. Bodie is disengaged. - -BODIE (_doggedly_). _Miss_ Bodie. - -MAID (_with firm sweetness_). Dr. Bodie, sir. What name shall I say? - -BODIE (_wincing_). Mr. Bodie. Her brother. - -MAID (_unmoved_). I shall tell Dr. Bodie, sir. - -BODIE (_a fighter to the last_). Miss Bodie. - -MAID. Dr. Bodie, sir. - - (_He is surveying the room with manly disapproval when - his sister appears and greets him. She is all that the - policeman has said of her, and more; if we did not have a - heroine already we would choose_ DR. BODIE. _At the same - time it cannot be denied that she is enough to make any - brother wince. For instance, immediately she has passed - him the time of day, she seems to be considering his case. - Perhaps this is because she has caught him frowning at her - stethescope. There is certainly a twinkle somewhere about - her face. Before he can step back indignantly she raises - one of his eyelids and comes to a conclusion._) - -DR. BODIE. Oh dear! Well, Dick, it’s entirely your own fault. - - (MR. BODIE _has a curious trick of kicking backwards with - one foot when people take liberties with him, and a liberty - has been taken with him now._) - -Kick away Dick, but you needn’t pretend that you have no faith in -me as a medical man; for when you are really ill you always take -the first train down here. In your heart I am the only doctor you -believe in. - -BODIE. Stuff, Nellie. - -DR. BODIE. Then why did you put Cinderella under my care? - -BODIE. I didn’t know where else to send her when she was discharged -from the hospital. Had to give her a chance of picking up. -(_Thawing._) It was good of you to give her board and lodging. - -DR. BODIE (_sitting down to her day-book_). Not at all. I’ll send -you in a whacking bill for her presently. - -BODIE (_kicking_). Well, I’ve come all this way to see her. How is -she getting on, Nellie? - -DR. BODIE. She is in the garden. I daresay you can see her from the -window. - -BODIE. I see some men only; I believe they are wounded Tommies. - -DR. BODIE. Yes. There’s a Convalescent Home down here. That is part -of my job. Do the men look as if they were gathering round anything? - -BODIE. They do. - -DR. BODIE. Ah! Then that is Cinderella. She is now bossing the -British Army, Dick. - -BODIE. I might have guessed it. (_Chuckling._) Does she charge a -penny? - -DR. BODIE. Not to the military. - -BODIE. Nellie, I have had some inquiries made lately about her -parents. - -DR. BODIE. She doesn’t know much about them herself. - -BODIE. No, and we needn’t tell her this. Her mother—ah well, poor -soul!—and the father was a very bad egg. And from that soil, -Nellie, this flower has sprung. Nobody to tend it. Can’t you see -little Cinderella with her watering-can carefully bringing up -herself. I wish I could paint that picture. - - (_Perhaps_ DR. BODIE _sees the picture even more clearly - than he does_.) - -I see her now. She’s on a bed, Nellie. - -DR. BODIE. Yes. That is for convenience, for wheeling her about. - -BODIE (_waving_). She sees me. And how is she, Nell? - -DR. BODIE. She is always bright—perhaps too bright. - -BODIE. Can’t be too bright. - -DR. BODIE (_controlling her feelings_). A girl who is found frozen -in the street by a policeman and taken to a London Hospital, where -she has pneumonia—poor little waif! You know, she is very frail, -Dick. - -BODIE. I know; but she will get better, won’t she? - - (_He has said it confidently, but his sister looks at him - and turns away. He is startled._) - -Come, Nellie, she is going to get better, isn’t she? - -DR. BODIE (_shaking her head_). There isn’t much chance, Dick. Her -body and soul have had to do too long without the little things -they needed. - -BODIE. She shall have them now, I promise. What are they? - -DR. BODIE. First of all, just food. She has been half starved all -her life. And then human affection. She has been starved of that -also; she who has such a genius for it. - - (_She goes to the window and calls._) - -DR. BODIE. No. 7, bring Cinderella in here. - - (CINDERELLA _in her bed is wheeled in through the window by - the soldier_, DANNY. _She is wearing a probationer’s cap - and dressing jacket. The bed is a simple iron one, small - and low, of the kind that was so common in war hospitals; - it is on tiny pneumatic wheels with ball bearings for easy - propulsion. Though frail_, CINDERELLA _is full of glee_.) - -BODIE. Hurray, Cinderella! - -CINDERELLA. Hurray! Isn’t it lovely. I’m glad you’ve seen me in my -carriage. When I saw there was visitor I thought at first it might -be David. - -BODIE. David? I didn’t know you.... Is he a relative? - - (CINDERELLA _finds this extremely funny—so does_ DANNY; - _even the_ DOCTOR _is discreetly amused_.) - -CINDERELLA (_to Danny_). Tell the men that! He’s not exactly a -relative. (_She pulls Mr. Bodie down by the lapels of his coat._) -He’s just that great big ridiculous policeman! - -BODIE. Oho! Our policeman again! Does he come all this way to see -you? - -CINDERELLA (_her shoulders rising in pride_). Twice already; and -he’s coming again to-day! Mr. Bodie, get the Doctor to take you -over the Convalescent Home. There’s a field with cows in it, a -whole litter of them! And the larder? There’s barrel upon barrel -full of eggs and sawdust, and Danny says—this is Danny— - - (DANNY, _who is slightly lame and is in hospital blue, - comes to attention_.) - -Danny says the hens lay in the barrels so as to save time in -packing. - - (DANNY _finds the severe eye of the Doctor upon him and is - abashed_.) - -Mr. Bodie, look! (_displaying her cap_). The Doctor lets me wear -it; it makes me half a nurse, a kind of nurse’s help. I make -bandages, and they’re took away in glass bottles and sterilized. -Mr. Bodie, as sure as death I’m doing something for my country. - -DR. BODIE. Cinderella, you’re talking too much. - -CINDERELLA (_subsiding meekly_). Yes, Doctor. - -DR. BODIE. Dick, I’m going over to the hospital presently. If you -like to come with me—_really_ want to see it—no affected interest— - -BODIE. Thanks, I should like it—Dr. Bodie. - -DR. BODIE (_to Danny_). You’re not required any more, No. 7. - - (DANNY _is going thankfully, but she suddenly pulls him - forward to examine his face_.) - -No. 7, you are wearing that brown eye again. - -DANNY (_who has a glass eye_). Yes, Doctor—you see it’s like this. -First they sent me a brown eye. Then some meddlesome person finds -out my natural eye is blue. So then they sends me a blue eye. - -DOCTOR. Yes, where is it? - -DANNY. It was a beautiful eye, Doctor—but I had taken a fancy to -little browny. And I have a young lady; so I took the liberty of -having the blue eye made up into a brooch and I sent it to her. - -DR. BODIE (_without moving a muscle_). I shall report you. - -BODIE (_when the martinet and Danny have gone_). Are you afraid of -her, Cinderella? I am. - -CINDERELLA. No! She sometimes dashes me, but she is a fearful -kind lady. (_She pulls him down again for further important -revelations._) She’s very particular about her feet. - -BODIE (_staggered_). Is she! In a feminine way? - -CINDERELLA. Yes. - -BODIE. Hurray! Then I have her. The Achilles Heel! (_He is once -more jerked down._) - -CINDERELLA. I have a spring bed. - -BODIE. Ah! - -CINDERELLA (_in some awe_). The first time I woke in hospital, an -angel with streamers was standing there holding a tray in her hand, -and on the tray was a boiled egg. Then I thought it was the egg you -get the day before you die. - -BODIE. What egg is that? - -CINDERELLA (_who in the course of a troubled life has acquired much -miscellaneous information_). In the Workhouse you always get an egg -to your tea the day before you die. (_She whispers._) I know now -I’m not the real Cinderella. - -BODIE (_taking her hand_). How did you find out? - -CINDERELLA (_gravely_). It’s come to me. The more I eat the -clearer I see things. I think it was just an idea of mine; being -lonely-like I needed to have something to hang on to. - -BODIE. That was it. Are you sorry you’re not the other one? - -CINDERELLA. I’m glad to be just myself. It’s a pity though about -the glass slippers. That’s a lovely idea. - -BODIE. Yes. - -CINDERELLA. Tell me about _Them_. - -BODIE. The children? They’re still with me, of course. I’m keeping -my promise, and they will be with me till you are able to take -care of them again. I have them a great deal in the studio in the -day-time. - -CINDERELLA (_cogitating_). I wonder if that’s wise. - -BODIE. Oh, they don’t disturb me much. - -CINDERELLA. I was meaning perhaps the smell of the paint would be -bad for them. - -BODIE. I see! Of course I could give up painting! - -CINDERELLA (_innocently_). I think that would be safest. - - (MR. BODIE _kicks_.) - -Are you kind to Gretchen? - -BODIE. I hope so. I feel it’s my duty. - -CINDERELLA (_with a sinking_). It’ll not be no use for Gretchen if -that’s how you do it. I’m sure I should get up. (_She attempts to -rise._) - -BODIE. Now, now! - -CINDERELLA. Are you fond of her, especially when she’s bad? - -BODIE (_hurriedly_). Yes, I am, I am! But she’s never bad! they are -all good, they are like angels. - -CINDERELLA (_despairing_). Then they’re cheating you. Where’s my -boots? - -BODIE. Quiet! That’s all right. - - (_A pretty and not very competent_ PROBATIONER _comes in at - the window, carrying fishing rods, followed by_ DANNY _with - croquet mallets and balls_.) - -PROBATIONER (_laden_). I want to shake hands with you, Mr. Bodie, -but you see how I am placed. - -CINDERELLA. Do your pretty bow at any rate. - - (_The attractive girl does her pretty bow to_ MR. BODIE. - _It is one of the few things she does well, and will - probably by and by bring her into some safe matrimonial - harbour; but in her country’s great hour she is of less - value to it than a ball of twine. She is of a nice nature - and would like to be of use, but things slip through her - hands as through her mind; she cannot even carry a few - lengths of fishing rods without an appeal to heaven. She is - counting the pieces now with puckered brow._) - -DANNY (_one of the few men in the world who can carry four croquet -balls in two hands_). You see, sir, there is a pond in the garden, -and we have a fishing competition; and as there are not enough -rods the men hides them so as to be sure of having a rod next day. - -PROBATIONER. It is very unfair to the others, Danny. - -DANNY (_warmly_). That’s what I say, Nurse. - -CINDERELLA. The Matron found a rod the other morning hidden beneath -one of the men’s mattresses. - -PROBATIONER. The odd thing is how he could have got it to the -house without being seen. (_Her counting of the pieces ends in her -discomfiture._) - -BODIE. Anything wrong? - -PROBATIONER. There are only nine pieces. A whole rod is missing! - -CINDERELLA (_trembling for her_). Nurse, I’m so sorry! - -BODIE. After all, it’s a trivial matter, isn’t it? - -PROBATIONER (_her beautiful empty eyes filling_). Trivial! I’m -responsible. Just think what Doctor Bodie will say to me! - -BODIE. Are you afraid of her too? - -PROBATIONER. Afraid! I should think I am. - -DANNY. And so am I. - - (_Before_ MR. BODIE _has time to kick, the terrible one - reappears_.) - -DR. BODIE. I’m going over to the Home now, Dick. You must come at -once, if you are coming. - -BODIE (_cowed and getting his coat_). Yes, all right. - -DR. BODIE. A great coat on a day like this! Absurd! - -BODIE (_remembering what_ CINDERELLA _has told him and pointing -sternly_). French shoes on roads like these, ridiculous! - - (DR. BODIE _kicks this time—it is evidently a family trait. - Delight of_ DANNY.) - -DR. BODIE. No. 7, you needn’t grin unless there is a reason! Is -there a reason? - -DANNY. No, no, Doctor. - -DR. BODIE. Fishing rods all right this time, Nurse? - -PROBATIONER (_faltering_). I’m so ashamed, Doctor Bodie—there is -one missing. - -DR. BODIE. Again! I must ask you, Nurse, to report yourself to the -Matron. - -PROBATIONER (_crushed_). Yes, Doctor Bodie. - -DR. BODIE (_observing that_ DANNY _is stealing away unobtrusively_). -No. 7! - -DANNY (_still backing_). Yes, Doctor. - -DR. BODIE. Come here. What is the matter with your right leg? It -seems stiff. - -DANNY (_with the noble resignation of Tommies, of which he has read -in the papers_). It’s a twinge of the old stiffness come back, -Doctor. I think there’s a touch of east in the wind. The least -touch of east seems to find the hole that bullet made. But I’m not -complaining. - -DR. BODIE (_brutally_). No, it is I who am complaining. - - (_She feels his leg professionally._) - -Give me that fishing rod. - - (_The long-suffering man unbuttons, and to his evident - astonishment produces the missing rod._) - -DANNY (_without hope but in character_). Well, I am surprised! - -DR. BODIE. You will be more surprised presently. Come along, Dick. - - (_She takes her brother away._) - -DANNY (_the magnanimous_). She’s great! Words couldn’t express my -admiration for that woman—lady—man—doctor. - -PROBATIONER. How mean of you, Danny—to get me into trouble. - -DANNY (_in the public school manner_). Sorry. But I’ll have to pay -for this. (_Seeing visions._) She has a way of locking one up in -the bathroom. - -PROBATIONER (_with spirit_). Let us three conspirators combine to -defy her. Carried. Proposed, that No. 7, being a male, conveys our -challenge to her. Carried. - -CINDERELLA (_gleefully_). Go on, Danny. - -DANNY (_of the bull-dog breed_). I never could refuse the -ladies. (_He uses the stethescope as a telephone._) Give me the -Convalescent Home, please. Is that you, Doctor? How are you? We’ve -just rung up to defy you. Now, now, not another word, or I’ll have -you locked up in the bathroom. Wait a mo; there’s a nurse here -wants to give you a piece of her mind. - -PROBATIONER (_with the stethescope_). Is that you, Miss Bodie? -What? No, I have decided not to call you Dr. Bodie any more. - - (_Alas_, DR. BODIE _returns unseen by the window and hears - her_.) - -Please to report yourself as in disgrace at once to the Matron. -That will do. Good-bye. Run along. Heavens, if she had caught us! - -DANNY. It would have meant permanent residence in bathroom for me. - - (_It is then that they see her._) - -DR. BODIE (_after an awful pause_). I have come back for my -stethescope, Nurse. - - (_The_ PROBATIONER _can think of no suitable reply_.) - -DANNY (_searching his person_). I don’t think I have it, Doctor. - -DR. BODIE. Don’t be a fool, No. 7. - -PROBATIONER (_surrendering it_). Here it is, Dr. Bodie, I—I— - -DR. BODIE (_charmingly_). Thank you. And, my dear, don’t be always -Doctor Bodieing me. That, of course, at the Home, and on duty, but -here in my house you are my guest. I am Miss Bodie to you here. -Don’t let me forget that I am a woman. I assure you I value that -privilege. (_She lingers over Cinderella’s pillow._) Dear, you -must invite Nurse and Danny to tea with you, and all be happy -together. Little Cinderella, if I will do as a substitute, you -haven’t altogether lost your Godmother. - - (_She goes, shaking a reproving finger at_ DANNY.) - -DANNY. We’re done again! - -PROBATIONER (_reduced to tears_). Horrid little toad that I’ve -been. Some one take me out and shoot me. - - (_The_ MAID _comes with tea things_.) - -DANNY. Allow me, maiden. - -ELLEN. Dr. Bodie says I’m to bring two more cups. - -DANNY (_whose manner is always that of one who, bathroom or no -bathroom, feels he is a general favourite_). If you please, child. - -PROBATIONER (_as soon as_ ELLEN _has gone_). Dr. Bodie is an angel. - -DANNY (_quite surprised that he has not thought of this before_). -That’s what she is! - -CINDERELLA. Danny, can’t you say something comforting to poor -Nurse. - -DANNY (_manfully_). I’m thankful to say I can. Nurse, I’ve often -had fits of remorse; and I can assure you that they soon pass away, -leaving not a mark behind. - -PROBATIONER. Dear Dr. Bodie! - -DANNY. Exactly. You’ve taken the words out of my mouth. The only -thing for us to think of henceforth is what to do to please her. -Her last words to us were to draw up to the tea-table. Are we to -disregard the last words of that sublime female? - -PROBATIONER (_recovering_). No! - - (_The extra cups having been brought, the company of three - settle down to their war-time tea-party, the tray being on_ - CINDERELLA’S _lap and a guest on each side of the bed_.) - -DANNY. Our plain duty is now to attack the victuals so as to become -strong in that Wonder’s service. Here’s to dear Dr. Bodie, and may -she find plenty to do elsewhere till this party is over. - -PROBATIONER (_able to toss her head again_). After all, she put us -in a false position. - -DANNY. That’s true. Down with her! - -PROBATIONER. I drink to you, Danny. - -DANNY (_gallantly_). And I reply with mine. - -CINDERELLA. It’s queer to think I’m being—what’s the word?—hostess. - -DANNY. All things are queer ever since the dull old days before the -war; and not the unqueerest is that Daniel Duggan, once a plumber, -is now partaking of currant cake with the Lady Charlotte something! - -CINDERELLA (_nearly letting her cup fall_). What? - -PROBATIONER. You weren’t supposed to know that. - -CINDERELLA. Does he mean you? Are you—? - -PROBATIONER. It’s nothing to make a fuss about, Cinderella. How did -you find out, Danny? - -DANNY. Excuse me, but your haughty manner of wringing out a -dishcloth betrayed you? My war-worn eyes, of various hues, have had -the honour of seeing the Lady Charlotte washing the ward floor. O -memorable day! O glorified floor! O blushing dishcloth! - -PROBATIONER. That was just a beginning. Some day I hope when I rise -in the profession to be allowed to wash you, Danny. - -DANNY (_bowing grandly_). The pleasure, my lady, will be mutual. -(_He hums a tune of the moment._) - -‘And when I tell them that some day washed by her I’ll be—they’ll -never believe me’— - -PROBATIONER (_with abandon_). ‘But when I tell them ’twas a jolly -good thing for me—they’ll all believe me!’ - -DANNY. And when I tell them—and I certainly mean to tell them—that -one day she’ll walk out with me— - - (_In a spirit of devilry he crooks his arm; she takes it—she - walks out with him for a moment._) - -PROBATIONER (_coming to_). No. 7, what are we doing! - -CINDERELLA. It’s just the war has mixed things up till we forget -how different we are. - -PROBATIONER (_with a moment of intuition_). Or it has straightened -things out so that we know how like we are. - - (_From the garden comes the sound of a gramophone._) - -CINDERELLA. David’s a long time in coming. - -DANNY. The four-twenty’s not in yet. - -CINDERELLA. Yes, it is; I heard the whistle. - -DANNY (_sarcastically_). Would you like me to see if he hasn’t lost -his way? Those policemen are stupid fellows. - -CINDERELLA. None of that, Danny; but I would like fine if you take -a look. - -DANNY. Anything to oblige you, though it brings our social to a -close. None of these little tea-parties after the war is over, fine -lady! - -PROBATIONER. Oh dear! I’ll often enjoy myself less, Danny. - -DANNY. Daniel Duggan will sometimes think of this day when you are -in your presentation gown and he is on your roof, looking for that -there leakage. - -PROBATIONER. Oh, Danny, don’t tell me that when I meet you with -your bag of tools I’ll be a beast. Surely there will be at least a -smile of friendship between us in memory of the old days. - -DANNY. I wonder! That’s up to you, my lady. (_But he will be wiser -if he arranges that it is to be up to himself._) - -PROBATIONER (_calling attention to the music_). Listen! No. -7—to-day is ours. - - (_She impulsively offers herself for the waltz; they dance - together._) - -DANNY (_when all is over_). Thank you, my lady. - - (_She curtseys and he goes out rather finely. It is not - likely that her next partner will be equal to her plumber. - The two girls are left alone, both nice girls of about the - same age; but the poor one has already lived so long that - the other, though there may be decades before her, will - never make up on_ CINDERELLA. _It would be grand to see - this waif, the moment after death, setting off stoutly on - the next adventure._) - -CINDERELLA. He is a droll character, Danny! (_Examining herself in -a hand-mirror._) Nurse, would you say my hair is looking right? He -likes the cap. - -PROBATIONER (_who will soon forget her, but is under the spell at -present_). Your David? - -CINDERELLA (_on her dignity_). He’s not mine, Nurse. - -PROBATIONER. Isn’t he? - -CINDERELLA. Hey, hey, hey! Nurse, when he comes you don’t need to -stay very long. - -PROBATIONER (_in the conspiracy_). I won’t. - -CINDERELLA (_casually_). He might have things to say to me, you see. - -PROBATIONER. Yes, he might. - -CINDERELLA (_solemnly_). You and me are both very young, but maybe -you understand about men better than I do. You’ve seen him, and -this is terrible important. Swear by Almighty God you’re to tell me -the truth. Would you say that man loves little children? - -PROBATIONER (_touched_). Don’t frighten me, Cinderella; I believe -him to be that kind of man. Are you fond of your policeman, dear? - -CINDERELLA (_winking_). That’s telling! (_Importantly._) Nurse, did -you ever have a love-letter? - -PROBATIONER (_gaily_). Not I! Don’t want to; horrid little -explosives! But have you—has he—? - -CINDERELLA (_becoming larger_). In my poor opinion, if it’s not a -love-letter, it’s a very near thing. - -PROBATIONER. If I could see the darling little detestable? - -CINDERELLA. Oh no, oh no, no, no, no! But I’ll tell you one thing -as is in it. This—‘There are thirty-four policemen sitting in this -room, but I would rather have you, my dear.’ What do you think? -That’s a fine bit at the end. - -PROBATIONER (_sparkling_). Lovely! Go on, Cinderella, fling -reticence to the winds. - -CINDERELLA (_doing so_). Unless I am—very far out—in my judgment of -men—that man is infatuate about me! - -PROBATIONER (_clapping her hands_). The delicious scoundrel! -Cinderella, be merciless to him! Knife him, you dear! Give him -beans! - -CINDERELLA (_gurgling_). I ill-treats him most terrible! - -PROBATIONER. That’s the way! down with lovers, slit them to -ribbons, stamp on them. - -CINDERELLA. Sometimes I—(_she sits up_). Listen! - -PROBATIONER (_alarmed_). It isn’t Dr. Bodie, is it? - -CINDERELLA. No, it’s _him_. - -PROBATIONER. I don’t hear a sound. - -CINDERELLA. I can hear him fanning his face with his helmet. He has -come in such a hurry. Nurse, you watch me being cruel to him. - -PROBATIONER. At him, Cinderella, at him! - -DANNY (_flinging open the door_). The Constabulary’s carriage stops -the way. - - (_Our_ POLICEMAN _stalks in, wetting his lips as he does so_.) - -PROBATIONER (_giving him her hand_). How do you do? You forget, I -daresay, that I met you when you were here last; but I remember -‘our policeman.’ - - (_He is bashful._) - -There she is. - - (_The wicked invalid is looking the other way._) - -POLICEMAN. A visitor to see you, Jane. - -CINDERELLA (_without looking round_). I thought it had a visitor’s -sound. (_She peeps at the_ PROBATIONER _gleefully_.) - -POLICEMAN (_very wooden_). You don’t ask who it is, Jane? - -CINDERELLA. I thought it might be that great big ridiculous -policeman. - - (DANNY _laughs, and our_ POLICEMAN _gives him a very stern - look_.) - -POLICEMAN (_after reflection_). I’m here again, Jane. - -CINDERELLA (_admitting it with a glance_). Perhaps you didn’t ought -to come so often; it puts them about. - -POLICEMAN (_cleverly_). But does it put you about, Jane? - -CINDERELLA. Hey! Hey! (_With a cunning waggle of the hand she -intimates to the_ NURSE _that she may go_.) - -DANNY (_who is not so easily got rid of_). You had best be going -too, Robert. The lady has answered you in the negative. - -POLICEMAN (_lowering_). You make a move there. - - (DANNY, _affecting alarm, follows the_ PROBATIONER.) - -CINDERELLA. I like fine to hear you ordering the public about, -David. - -POLICEMAN (_humbly_). I’m very pleased, Jane, if there’s any little -thing about me that gives you satisfaction. - - (_He puts down a small parcel that he has brought in._) - -CINDERELLA (_curious_). What’s in the parcel, David? - -POLICEMAN. That remains to be seen. (_He stands staring at his -divinity._) - -CINDERELLA (_sneering_). What are you looking at? - -POLICEMAN. Just at you. - -CINDERELLA (_in high delight_). Me! There’s little to look at in -me. You should see the larder at the Home! You’ll have a cup of -China tea and some of this cake? - -POLICEMAN. No, Jane, no. (_In a somewhat melancholy voice._) Things -to eat have very little interest to me now. - -CINDERELLA. Oh? - -POLICEMAN. I’ve gone completely off my feed. - - (CINDERELLA _would have liked the_ PROBATIONER _to hear - this_.) - -CINDERELLA (_artfully_). I wonder how that can be! - -POLICEMAN. Did you get my letter, Jane? - -CINDERELLA (_calmly_). I got it— - -POLICEMAN. Did you—did you think it was a peculiar sort of a letter? - -CINDERELLA (_mercilessly_). I don’t mind nothing peculiar in it. - -POLICEMAN. There was no word in it that took you aback, was there? - -CINDERELLA. Not that I mind of. - -POLICEMAN (_worried_). Maybe you didn’t read it very careful? - -CINDERELLA. I may have missed something. What was the word, David? - -POLICEMAN (_in gloom_). Oh, it was just a small affair. It was just -a beginning. I thought, if she stands that she’ll stand more. But -if you never noticed it—(_He sighs profoundly._) - -CINDERELLA. I’ll take another look— - -POLICEMAN (_brightening_). You’ve kept it? - -CINDERELLA. I have it here. - -POLICEMAN. I could let you see the word if it’s convenient to you -to get the letter out of your pocket. - -CINDERELLA. It’s not in my pocket. - -POLICEMAN. Is it under the pillow? - -CINDERELLA. No. - -POLICEMAN (_puzzled_). Where, then? - - (CINDERELLA, _with charming modesty, takes the letter from - her bodice. Her lover is thunderstruck._) - -What made you think of keeping it there? - -CINDERELLA. I didn’t think, David; it just came to me. - -POLICEMAN (_elate_). It’s infall_ay_able! I’ll let you see the word. - -CINDERELLA (_smiling at the ridiculous man_). You don’t need to -bother, David. Fine I know what the word is. - -POLICEMAN (_anxious_). And you like it? - -CINDERELLA. If you like it. - -POLICEMAN. That emboldens me tremendous. - -CINDERELLA. I don’t like that so much. If there’s one thing I like -more than any other thing in the world— - -POLICEMAN (_eager_). Yes? - -CINDERELLA. It’s seeing you, David, tremendous bold before all -other folk, and just in a quake before me. - -POLICEMAN (_astounded_). It’s what I am! And yet there’s something -bold I must say to you. - -CINDERELLA (_faltering genteelly_). Is there? - -POLICEMAN. It’ll be a staggering surprise to you. - - (CINDERELLA _giggles discreetly_.) - -I promised the Doctor as I came in not to tire you. (_With some -awe._) She’s a powerful woman that. - -CINDERELLA. If you tire me I’ll hold up my hand just like you do to -stop the traffic. Go on, David. Just wait a moment. (_She takes off -his helmet and holds it to her thin breast._) Here’s a friend of -mine. Now? - -POLICEMAN (_despairing of himself_). I wish I was a man in a -book. It’s pretty the way they say it; and if ever there was a -woman that deserved to have it said pretty to her it’s you. I’ve -been reading the books. There was one chap that could speak six -languages. Jane, I wish I could say it to you in six languages, one -down and another come up, till you had to take me in the end. - -CINDERELLA. To take you? - -POLICEMAN (_in woe_). Now I’ve gone and said it in the poorest, -silliest way! Did you hold up your hand to stop me, Jane? - -CINDERELLA. No. - -POLICEMAN (_encouraged_). But I’ve said it. Will you, Jane? - -CINDERELLA (_doggedly_). Will I what? - -POLICEMAN. Do you not see what I’m driving at? - -CINDERELLA. Fine I see what you’re driving at. - -POLICEMAN. Then won’t you help me out? - -CINDERELLA. No. - -POLICEMAN. If you could just give me a shove. - -CINDERELLA (_sympathetically_). Try Badgery. - -POLICEMAN (_brightening_). Have you forgotten that pool in Badgery -Water where the half-pounder used—No, you never was there! Jane, -the heart of me is crying out to walk with you by Badgery Water. - -CINDERELLA. That’s better! - -POLICEMAN. I would never think of comparing Mrs. Bodie to you. For -my part I think nothing of uppers. Feet for me. - - (_She gives him her hand to hold._) - -My dear! - -CINDERELLA. You said _that_ was only a beginning! - -POLICEMAN. My dearest! - -CINDERELLA (_glistening_). I’m not feeling none tired, David. - -POLICEMAN. My pretty! - -CINDERELLA. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! - -POLICEMAN. I don’t set up to be a prince, Jane; but I love you in a -princely way, and if you would marry me, you wonder, I’ll be a true -man to you till death us do part. Come on, Cinders. (_Pause._) It’s -the only chance that belt of mine has. - -CINDERELLA. No, no, I haven’t took you yet! There’s a thing you -could do for me, that would gratify me tremendous. - -POLICEMAN. It’s done. - -CINDERELLA. I want you to let me have the satisfaction, David, of -having refused you once. - -POLICEMAN. Willingly; but what for? - -CINDERELLA. I couldn’t say. Just because I’m a woman. Mind you, I -daresay I’ll cast it up at you in the future. - -POLICEMAN. I’ll risk that. Will you be my princess, Jane? - -CINDERELLA. You promise to ask again? At once? - -POLICEMAN. Yes. - -CINDERELLA. Say—I do. - -POLICEMAN. I do. - -CINDERELLA (_firmly_). It’s a honour you do me, policeman, to which -I am not distasteful. But I don’t care for you in that way, so let -there be no more on the subject. (_Anxiously._) Quick, David! - -POLICEMAN. For the second time, will you marry me, Jane? - -CINDERELLA (_who has been thinking out the answer for several -days_). David, I love thee, even as the stars shining on the -parched earth, even as the flowers opening their petals to the sun; -even as mighty ocean with its billows; even so do I love thee, -David. (_She nestles her head on his shoulder._) - -POLICEMAN. If only I could have said it like that! - -CINDERELLA (_happily_). That’s just a bit I was keeping handy. -(_Almost in a whisper._) David, do you think I could have a -engagement ring? - -POLICEMAN (_squaring his shoulders_). As to that, Jane, first tell -me frankly, do you think the Police Force is romantical? - -CINDERELLA. They’re brave and strong, but— - -POLICEMAN. The general verdict is no. And yet a more romantical -body of men do not exist. I have been brooding over this question -of engagement rings, and I consider them unromantical affairs! (_He -walks toward his parcel._) - -CINDERELLA. David, what’s in that parcel? - -POLICEMAN. Humbly hoping you would have me, Jane, I have had -something special made for you— - -CINDERELLA (_thrilling_). Oh, David, what is it? - -POLICEMAN. It’s a policeman’s idea of an engagement ring— - -CINDERELLA. Quick! Quick! - -POLICEMAN. —for my amazing romantical mind said to me that, instead -of popping a ring on the finger of his dear, a true lover should -pop a pair of glass slippers upon her darling feet! - -CINDERELLA. David, you’re a poet! - -POLICEMAN (_not denying it_). It’s what you’ve made me—and proud I -would be if, for the honour of the Force, I set this new fashion in -engagement rings. (_He reveals the glass slippers._) - - (CINDERELLA _holds out her hands for the little doves_.) - -They’re not for hands. (_He uncovers her feet._) - -CINDERELLA. They’re terrible small! Maybe they’ll not go on! - - (_They go on._) - -CINDERELLA. They’re like two kisses. - -POLICEMAN. More like two love-letters. - -CINDERELLA. No, David, no,—kisses. - -POLICEMAN. We won’t quarrel about it, Cinders; but at the same -time.... However! - - (_He presses her face to him for a moment so that he - may not see its transparency._ DR. BODIE _has told him - something_.) - - - - -TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE - - - Italic text is denoted by _underscores_. - - Obvious typographical errors and punctuation errors have been - corrected after careful comparison with other occurrences within - the text and consultation of external sources. - - Some hyphens in words have been silently removed, some added, - when a predominant preference was found in the original book. - - Except for those changes noted below, all misspellings in the - text, and inconsistent or archaic usage, have been retained. - - Pg 7: ‘in the passage.’ replaced by ‘in the passage.)’. - - Pg 30: ‘He stops short’ replaced by ‘(He stops short’. - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A KISS FOR CINDERELLA *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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