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If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Nuts to crack, Multum in parvo library, v. 2, no. 20, August 1895 - A galaxy of puzzles, riddles, conundrums, etc. - -Author: Anonymous - -Release Date: December 12, 2022 [eBook #69528] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Demian Katz, Craig Kirkwood, and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (Images courtesy - of the Digital Library@Villanova University.) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NUTS TO CRACK, MULTUM IN -PARVO LIBRARY, V. 2, NO. 20, AUGUST 1895 *** - - -Transcriber’s Note: - -Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_), and text -enclosed by equal signs is in bold (=bold=). - -Additional Transcriber’s Notes are at the end. - - * * * * * - -MULTUM IN PARVO LIBRARY. - -Entered at the Boston Post office as second class matter. - -Vol. 2. AUG., 1895. Published Monthly. No. 20. - - - - -NUTS TO CRACK - - - A Galaxy of Puzzles, Riddles, - Conundrums, Etc. - - Smallest Magazine in the world. Subscription price - 50 cts. per year. Single Copies 5 cts. each. - - PUBLISHED BY - A. B. COURTNEY, - Room 74, 45 Milk Street, - BOSTON, MASS. - - - - -Two Puzzling Queries. - - -Read the following surprising sentence. - -=All 0.= - -_Ans._ Nothing after all. - -Make one word of the letters of words _new door_. - -_Ans._ One word. - - - - -Grammatical Puzzle. - - - Let the rich, great and noble, banquet in the festal halls, - And pass the hours away, as the most thoughtless revel; - Then seek the poor man’s dreary home, whose very dingy walls - Proclaim full well to all how low his rank and level. - -Take away one letter from a word in the above stanza and substitute -another, leaving the word so metamorphosed still a word of the -English language; and, by that change, totally alter the syntactical -construction of the whole sentence, changing the moods and tenses of -verbs, turning verbs into nouns, nouns into adjectives, and adjectives -into adverbs, etc., and so make the entire stanza bear quite a -different meaning from that which it has as it stands above. - - - - -Answer to Grammatical Puzzle. - - -Take away L in the subjunctive “Let” at the beginning of the first -line, and substitute S, and so turn it into the imperative “Set,” when -the changes which necessarily follow will be immediately apparent. - - - - -Conundrums. - - -1. Why is ambition like a weathercock? Because it is a vain and -glittering thing to aspire (_a-spire_). - -2. What preserve would an egg name if it could speak? Ma-me-laid -(_Marmelade_). - -3. What is the difference between a schoolmaster and an engine driver? -One trains the mind, the other minds the train. - -4. Why are railways like laundresses? Because they have “ironed” the -world, and occasionally done a little mangling. - -5. Which is the most difficult train to catch? The 12:50, because it is -ten to one if you do catch it. - -6. What nation does a criminal dread most? Condem-nation. - -7. What musical instrument invites you to fish? Cast-a-net (_castanet_). - -8. What trees flourish best upon the hearth? Ashes. - -9. Which is the queen of the roses, and why? The rose of the watering -pot, because it rains (_reigns_) over them all. - -10. Why is a dog biting his own tail like a good manager? Because he -makes both ends meet. - -11. Why is love like pattens? Because it elevates the soul (_sole_). - -12. Why are stars the best astronomers? Because they have studded -(_studied_) the heavens since the Creation. - -13. If Mr. Rowland Hill were to give each of his children a gold dollar -why would he be like the rising sun? Because he tips the little Hills -with gold. - -14. What is the difference between Mario and Cardinal Wiseman? One -performs mass in white and the other mass in yellow (_Masaniello_). - -15. What is the difference between a pastry cook and a bill sticker? -One puffs up paste and the other pastes up puffs. - -16. Who was the first whistler, and what was his tune? The wind, when -he whistled “Over the hills and far away.” - -17. Why have fowls no future state? Because they have their next world -in this world (_necks twirled in this world_). - -18. Which is the easiest of the three professions? Divinity; because it -is easier to _preach_ than to _practice_. - -19. Why are your nose and chin always at variance? Because words are -continually passing between them. - -20. What kind of vice is that which people shun if they are ever so -bad? Ad-vice. - -21. Why should a little man never marry a bouncing widow? Because he -would be called “the widow’s mite.” - -22. What is that which every one wishes for and yet tries to get rid -of? A good appetite. - -23. What kind of sweetmeats did they have in the Ark? Preserved pairs -(_pears_). - -24. Why are potatoes and corn like certain sinners of old? Because -having _eyes_ they see not, and _ears_ they hear not. - -25. Why is wit like a Chinese lady’s foot? Because _brevity_ is the -_sole_ of it. - -26. Why is a man who does not bet as bad as one who does? Because he is -no bettor. - -27. Which travels at the greatest speed, heat or cold? Heat, for you -can easily _catch cold_. - -28. Why is a spider a good correspondent? Because he drops a line by -every post. - -29. If you suddenly saw a house on fire, what three celebrated authors -would you feel inclined to name? Dickens, Howitt, Burns (_Dickens! How -it burns_). - -30. Why should the male sex avoid the letter A? Because it makes men, -mean. - -31. What kind of wine is both meat and drink? Old port, with a crust. - -32. Why are people who stutter not to be relied on? Because they are -always breaking their word. - -33. Why is a game of cards like a timber yard? Because there are always -a great many _deals_ in it. - -34. What is the difference between forms and ceremonies? You sit upon -one and stand upon the other. - -35. In what color should a secret be kept? Inviolate (_in violet_). - -36. Which would you rather have, five silver dollars or a five-dollar -bill? The latter, because you _double_ it when you put it in your -pocket, and find it _in-creases_ when you take it out. - -37. In what part of the church do they ring the bells (_belles_)? At -the altar. - -38. We will send you 100 useful articles for 10 cts., postpaid. W. S. -Everett & Co., Lynn, Mass. - -39. What is that of which the common sort is best? Sense. - -40. Why should a perfumer be a good editor? Because he is accustomed to -make _elegant extracts_. - -41. Why is a man like a green gooseberry? Because any woman can make a -_fool_ of him. - -42. What is the color of a grass plot covered with snow? Invisible -green. - -43. Why ought a greedy man to wear a plaid waistcoat? To keep a check -upon his stomach. - -44. Why is an accepted suitor like a person guilty of a crime? Because -he ought to be transported. - -45. Send 10 cents to Keystone Book Co., P. O. Box 1634, Philadelphia, -Pa., and you will receive 12 new and complete books, entirely different -from the set of which this “Nuts to Crack” book is sold with. - -46. Why is an avaricious man like one troubled with a bad memory? -Because he is always forgetting. - -47. What is the best kind of tea? Pacific Tea. - -48. Why is a girl not a noun? Because a lass (_alas!_) is an -interjection. - -49. Why are indolent persons’ beds too short for them? Because they lie -too long in them. - -50. When is a man like a looking-glass? When he reflects. - -51. When is a window like a star? When it is a skylight. - -52. Why is a widower like a house in a state of dilapidation? Because -he wants re-pairing. - -53. What part of their infant tuition have old bachelors and old maids -most profited by? Learning to _go alone_. - -54. When is a wineglass like an accomplished prediction? When it is -fulfilled (_full-filled_). - -55. Which of the heathen gods is most resorted to in sickness? Mercury. - -56. Why is the letter E like death? Because it is the end of life. - -57. Why is a lady in a cotton dress like anything published? Because -she appears in _print_. - -58. What parts of speech are shopkeepers most anxious to dispose of? -Articles. - -59. Why are weary persons like carriage wheels? Because they are tired. - -60. When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar. - -61. What is that which we all eat and drink, though it is sometimes a -woman and sometimes a man? A toast. - -62. Why would a tanner make a good chemist? Because he understands -oxides (_ox hides_). - -63. Why is Ireland like a bottle of wine? Because it has _Cork_ in it. - -64. Send 12 cents in stamps to Rex Company, Box 494, Philadelphia, Pa., -and you will receive one package of tea, one silver plated thimble, one -Colorado gold pen and one gold watch chain. Don’t miss this great offer. - -65. Why is a well trained horse like a benevolent man? Because it stops -at the sound of woe (_whoa_). - -66. Why is the port of New Haven like a very wonderful phenomenon in -acoustics? Because it includes a part of the sea, called the Sound; and -_that_ is the only _sound_ that you can _see_. - -67. When may a man be considered to be really over head and ears in -debt? When he owes for his wig. - - - - -A Batch of Puzzles. - - -_See Answers Following._ - -1. The following letters are inscribed on a stone tablet placed -immediately above the Ten Commandments in a country church in the -northwest of England, and are deciphered with only one letter: - - P R S V R Y P R F C T M N! - V R K P T H S P R C P T S T N. - -2. If the =B= m t put some: but if the =B=. - -3. What difference is there between twice eight and fifty, and twice -fifty-eight--and what is their product? - -4. In an army consisting of 187 squadrons of horse, each 157 men, and -207 battalions, each 560 men--how many effective soldiers, supposing -that in 7 hospitals there are 473 sick? - -5. The Spectator mentions a club of fat people, whose number was only -15, and yet weighed no less than 3 tons--what was the weight of each -person? - -6. Three boys met a servant maid carrying apples to the market. The -first took half what she had, but returned to her ten; the second took -one-third, but returned two; and the third took away half those she had -left, but returned her one. She had then twelve apples left--how many -had she at first? - -7. A schoolmaster being asked how many scholars he had, said: “If I -had as many, half as many, and one-quarter as many more, I should have -88”--how many had he? - -8. A person having about him a certain number of Portugal pieces, said: -“If the third, fourth and sixth of them were added together, they would -make 54.” I desire to know how many he had? - -9. A man overtaking a maid driving a flock of geese, said to her: “How -do you do, sweetheart; where are you going with these 30 geese?” “No, -sir,” said she, “I have not 30; but if I had as many more, half as many -more, and 5 geese besides, I should have 30.” How many had she? - -10. Three persons discoursing concerning their ages: says H, “I am 30 -years of age;” says K, “I am as old as H, and one-fourth of L;” and -says L, “I am as old as you both.” What was the age of each person? - -11. What is the difference between twice 8 and 20, and twice 28; as -also between twice 5 and 50, and twice 55? - -12. A schoolmaster being asked how many scholars he had, said if he had -as many more, one-half as many, and one-fourth as many, he should have -99. How many had he? - -13. An ancient lady, being asked how old she was, to avoid a direct -answer, said: “I have 9 children, and there are 3 years between the -birth of each of them; the eldest was born when I was 19 years old, -which is now exactly the age of the youngest.” How old was the lady? - -14. A gentleman went to sea at 17 years of age; 8 years after that he -had a son born, who lived 40 years, and died before his father; after -whom the father lived twice twenty years, and then died also. What was -the age of the father when he died? - -15. A person said he had 20 children, that it happened there was a year -and a half between each of their ages; his eldest son was born when -he was 24 years old, and the age of the youngest is 21. What was the -father’s age? - -16. A sheepfold was robbed three nights successively; the first night -one-half of the sheep were stolen and half a sheep more; the second -night half the remainder were lost, and half a sheep more; the last -night they took half that were left and half a sheep more, by which -time they were reduced to 20. How many were there at first? - -17. There are two numbers, the one 48, the other twice as much. What is -the difference between their sum and difference? - -18. Two men depart both from one place, the one goes north the other -south; the one goes 7 miles and the other 11 miles a day. How far are -they distant at the twelfth day of their departure? - -19. - - When first the marriage knot was tied between my wife and me, - Her age did mine as far exceed, as three times three does three; - But when seven years, and half seven years, we man and wife had been, - My age came then as near to her’s as eight is to sixteen. - What was each of our ages when married? - -20. If 12 oxen will eat 3 acres and one-third of grass in four weeks -and 21 oxen will eat 10 acres in 9 weeks--how many oxen will eat 24 -acres in 18 weeks, the grass being allowed to grow uniformly? - -21. A lady was asked her age, who replied thus: - - My age, if multiplied by three, - Two-sevenths of that product tripled be, - The square root of two-ninths of that is four-- - Now tell my age, or never see me more. - - - - -Answers to Batch of Puzzles. - - -1. The letter E. - - “Persevere, ye perfect men! - Ever keep these precepts ten.” - -2. If the grate be empty, put some coal on; but if the grate be full, -stop. - -3. Difference 50, product 7656. - -4. 144808. - -5. 448 lbs. - -6. 40. - -7. 32. - -8. 72. - -9. 10. - -10. H 30, K 50 and L 80. - -11. 20 and 50. - -12. 36. - -13. 62. - -14. 114. - -15. 73-1/2 years. - -16. 107. - -17. 96. - -18. 216 miles. - -19. 10-1/2 years the man, 31-1/2 years the woman. - -20. 30. - -21. 28 years. - - - - -Arithmetical Puzzle. - - - The sum of four figures, in value will be - Above seven thousand, nine hundred and three; - But when they are halved, you’ll find very fair - The sum will be nothing, in truth I declare. - - - - -Answer to Arithmetical Puzzle. - - -The four figures are 8888, which, being divided by a line drawn through -the middle, becomes - - 0000 - 0000 - -the sum of which is eight 0s, or nothing. - -Send 12 cents to the firm from whom you received this book, and get the -Marvelous Package of Games, including checkers, dominoes, authors, etc. -Biggest bargain lot of Games ever offered. - - - - -Magic Age Table. - - - 1 2 4 8 16 32 - 3 3 5 9 17 33 - 5 6 6 10 19 34 - 7 7 7 11 18 35 - 9 10 12 12 20 36 - 11 11 13 13 21 37 - 13 14 14 14 22 38 - 15 15 15 15 23 39 - 17 18 20 24 24 40 - 19 19 21 25 25 41 - 21 22 22 26 26 42 - 23 23 23 27 27 43 - 25 26 28 28 28 44 - 27 27 29 29 29 45 - 29 30 30 30 30 46 - 31 31 31 31 31 47 - 33 34 36 40 48 48 - 35 35 37 41 49 49 - 37 38 38 42 50 50 - 39 38 39 43 51 51 - 41 42 44 44 52 52 - 43 43 45 45 53 53 - 45 46 46 46 54 54 - 47 47 47 47 55 55 - 49 50 52 56 56 56 - 51 51 53 57 57 57 - 53 54 54 58 58 58 - 55 55 55 59 59 59 - 57 58 60 60 60 60 - 59 59 61 61 61 61 - 61 62 62 62 62 62 - 63 63 63 63 63 63 - -KEY TO TABLE.--Add together the figures at the top of each column in -which the age is found and the sum will be the age sought. Example: -Hand the table to a lady and request her to tell you in which column -or columns her age is found; if she says the first, second and fifth, -you can say it is 19 by mentally adding together the first figures of -those three columns, and so on for any age up to 63. - - - - -Cracked Nuts. - - -“Parlor Matches”--Courting in the front room. - -All men are not homeless, but some are home less than others. - -A young Oil City gent calls his girl revenge, because she is sweet. - -When is a small baby like a big banker? When he is a wroth-child. - -Before slates were used people multiplied on the face of the earth. - -How may a man always become four-handed? By doubling his fists. - -The economical baby puts its toes in its mouth to make both ends meet. - -There’s nothing boisterous about the love for whiskey--it’s a still -affection. - -Why is a situation of great trust like a back tooth? Because it is hard -to fill. - -In art matters the education of the eye, of course, includes the proper -treatment of the pupils. - -Why are balloons in the air like vagabonds? Because they have no -visible means of support. - -Jones calls his dog Hickory, because he has a rough bark. - -The only perpetual thing about perpetual motion is its failure. - -Some shoemakers are notoriously long-lived--the lasters, for instance. - -Billiards must be an easy game, for it’s mostly done on cushions. - -Ricrac is a tidy affair.--_Barber’s Gazette._ - -Domestic “sauce” is kept in family jars. - -Bronze is a very fashionable hue nowadays, but brass has not entirely -gone out. - -The _Barber’s Gazette_, of New York City, has failed. It was strapped. -Next! - -A man with a noisy dog calls him “Tree,” because all the bark is on the -outside. - -Society is a fraction whose numerator is clothes and whose denominator -is cash. - -To introduce our celebrated Perfume, we will send a case postpaid, -for 12 cents. We will mail with it, _absolutely free_, a beautiful -gold plated Garnet and Opal ring. Send 12 cents in stamps and we will -surprise and delight you. Address: W. S. Everett & Co., Lynn, Mass. - -Flats are growing popular in New York. New York “flats” are unpopular -the country over. - -We fear the Montreal courts will hold that the matter of compulsory -vaccination is ultra virus. - -It is generally when you are not looking out for a woman that you get -on her trail. - -The best telephone bell--The hello girl at the other end of the line. - -The poetry of motion--A picnic girl with a bug down her back. - -In some of our down town restaurants, macadamized pie crust seems to be -very popular. - -The letter D is truly an old salt--been following the C for years. - -“How to get fat”--Go to the butcher shop and purchase it by the pound. - -The expense of evening walks is diminished now that ice cream has been -called in. - -A classical farmer in Burlington Township names all his pigs after the -Greek roots. - -Approaching a Crisis--Walking toward a restless girl baby. - -A Boston girl visiting in Danbury claims to wear limbbings during -severe weather. - -Blessed is the man who loveth his wife’s relations; and not only -blessed, but also scarce. - -Love laughs at locksmiths, but we defy anybody or anything to laugh at -a plumber. - -The _Rochester Express_ complains that the mornings get up too early. - -The difference between a woman and an umbrella is, that you can shut up -an umbrella. - -Youth--“Pa, give me an example of a ‘floating debt.’” Pa--(sadly)--“My -yacht.” - -A cold wave--The preliminary flourish of the handkerchief. - -A goose is an inoffensive fowl, and yet everybody gets down on her. - -When a man bows assent to what you are saying he stoops to concur. - -If you lack pluck, just eat buckwheat cakes. They’ll make you come to -the scratch. - -The church festival season is nearly over, and the solitary oyster will -soon be out of his stew. - -Talk is cheap, but the love prattle of a pretty girl is dear. - -A flirt’s heart is like an omnibus--it always has room for one more. - -He was “Claude” before he married her, and they say he was more clawed -afterward. - -He--“The music was so loud that I couldn’t hear myself talk.” She -(bored)--“Oh, how nice!” - -Slight of Hand--Refusing a marriage proposal. - -It takes a Japanese girl thirteen hours to dress for a party. - -Sweetening one’s coffee is the first stirring event of the day. - -Free! We will send you an elegant large magazine 6 months, free, if you -send 10 cents to have your name and address inserted in our Directory, -which goes to over 1000 publishers, importers, etc., who will send you -samples of new goods, latest books, newspapers, catalogues, etc. You -will get a big mail daily. All at a cost of 10 cents. W. S. Everett & -Co., Publishers, Lynn, Mass. - -A lightning express would be unsafe were it not for the conductor. - -Whatever the season, a gymnast wears both spring and fall clothing. - -It is beauty’s privilege to kill time, and time’s privilege to kill -beauty. - -“I am climbin’ the ’ill of experience,” as the boy said who was made -sick by smoking. - -Strange behavior--A vessel “hugging” the coast. - -What is the great want of the age?--Want of funds. - -When is the water most liable to escape?--When it is only half tide. - -The violinist who “carried the house by storm” used a rain bow -afterward. - -Even a clothes line becomes unsteady when it has too many sheets in the -wind. - -“Mankind,” said the preacher, “includes woman; for man embraces woman.” - -When is a ship like a dressmaker?--When she’s rounding the Cape or -tacking about. - -“The only way to look at a lady’s faults,” exclaimed a gallant, “is to -shut your eyes.” - -“Cutter & Fitts” are said to be the names of the fashionable -dressmakers in New York. - -Handsome is as handsome drives without upsetting the hansom. - -Those who toil and spin--The bicycle riders. - - * * * * * - -Transcriber’s Notes: - -Punctuation has been made consistent. - -Variations in spelling and hyphenation were retained as they appear in -the original publication, except that obvious typographical errors have -been corrected. - -The following changes were made: - -p. 8: In question 5, “tons” means “long tons” (than 3 tons). - -p. 11: The correct answer to question 16 is 167 (16. 107.). - -p. 13: Partially illegible word assumed to be “thirteen” (girl thirteen -hours). - -p. 13: Partially illegible phrase assumed to be “coffee is the first -stirring event” (Sweetening one’s coffee is the first stirring event -of). - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NUTS TO CRACK, MULTUM IN PARVO -LIBRARY, V. 2, NO. 20, AUGUST 1895 *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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