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diff --git a/old/69313-0.txt b/old/69313-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index edb45e3..0000000 --- a/old/69313-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,751 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Volume of anecdotes, Multum in parvo -library, vol. 2, no. 24, Dec., 1895, by Anonymous - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Volume of anecdotes, Multum in parvo library, vol. 2, no. 24, - Dec., 1895 - -Author: Anonymous - -Release Date: November 7, 2022 [eBook #69313] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Demian Katz, Craig Kirkwood, and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (Images courtesy - of the Digital Library@Villanova University.) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VOLUME OF ANECDOTES, MULTUM -IN PARVO LIBRARY, VOL. 2, NO. 24, DEC., 1895 *** - - -Transcriber’s Note: - -Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_). - -Additional Transcriber’s Notes are at the end. - - * * * * * - -MULTUM IN PARVO LIBRARY. - -Entered at the Boston Post office as second class matter. - -Vol. 2. DEC., 1895. Published Monthly. No. 24. - - - - -VOLUME OF ANECDOTES. - - - Smallest Magazine in the world. Subscription price - 50 cts. per year. Single Copies 5 cts. each. - - PUBLISHED BY - A.B. COURTNEY, - Room 74, 45 Milk Street, - BOSTON, MASS. - - - - -HUMOR OF THE BATTLEFIELD. - - -Many humorous incidents, says a writer in the _Century Magazine_, -occurred on battlefields. A Confederate colonel ran ahead of his -regiment at Malvern Hill, and, discovering that the men were not -following him as closely as he wished, he uttered a fierce oath and -exclaimed: “Come on! Do you want to live forever?” The appeal was -irresistible, and many a poor fellow who had laughed at the colonel’s -queer exhortation laid down his life soon after. - -A shell struck the wheel of a Federal fieldpiece toward the close of -the engagement at Fair Oaks, shivering the spokes and dismantling the -cannon. “Well, isn’t it lucky that didn’t happen before we used up -all our ammunition,” said one of the artillerists as he crawled from -beneath the gun. - -When General Pope was falling back before Lee’s advance in the Virginia -Valley, his own soldiers thought his bulletins and orders somewhat -strained in their rhetoric. At one of the numerous running engagements -that marked the disastrous campaign, a private in one of the Western -regiments was mortally wounded by a shell. Seeing the man’s condition, -a chaplain knelt beside him, and, opening his Bible at random, read out -Sampson’s slaughter of the Philistines with the jaw-bone of an ass. -He had not quite finished, when, as the story runs, the poor fellow -interrupted the reading by saying: “Hold on, chaplain. Don’t deceive a -dying man. Isn’t the name of John Pope signed to that?” - -A column of troops was pushing forward over the long and winding road -in Thoroughfare Gap to head off Lee after his retreat across the -Potomac at the close of the Gettysburg campaign. Suddenly the signal -officer who accompanied the general in command discovered that some of -his men, posted on a high hill in the rear, were reporting the presence -of a considerable body of Confederate troops on top of the bluffs -to their right. A halt was at once sounded, and the leading brigade -ordered forward to uncover the enemy’s position. The regiments were -soon scrambling up the steep incline, officers and men gallantly racing -to see who could reach the crest first. A young lieutenant and some -half dozen men gained the advance, but at the end of what they deemed -a perilous climb they were thrown into convulsions of laughter at -discovering that what the signal men took for Confederate troops were -only a tolerably large flock of sheep. As the leaders in this forlorn -hope rolled on the grass in a paroxysm of merriment they laughed all -the louder at seeing the pale but determined faces of their comrades, -who, of course, came up fully expecting a desperate hand-to-hand -struggle. It is perhaps needless to say the brigade supped on mutton -that evening. - -As the army was crossing South Mountain the day before the battle of -Antietam, General McClellan rode along the side of the moving column. -Overtaking a favorite Zouave regiment, he exclaimed, with his natural -_bonhommie_: “Well, and how is Old Fifth this evening?” “First-rate, -General,” replied one of the Zouaves. “But we’d be better off if -we weren’t living so much on supposition.” “Supposition?” said the -General, in a puzzled tone. “What do you mean by that?” “It’s easily -explained, sir. You see we expected to get our rations yesterday; but -as we didn’t, we’re living on the supposition that we did.” “Ah, I -understand; you shall have your rations, Zouzous, to-night,” replied -the General, putting spurs to his horse to escape the cheers of his -regiment. And he kept his promise. - - - - -NIGHT ON THE FIELD OF FREDERICKSBURG. - - -Many years have now passed, writes General Chamberlain, of Maine, since -“Fredericksburg.” Of what then was, not much is left but memory. Faces -and forms of men and things that then were have changed--perchance to -dust. New life has covered some; the rest look but lingering farewells. - -But, whatever changes may beautify those storm-swept and barren slopes, -there is one character from which they can never pass. Death gardens, -haunted by glorious hosts, they must abide. No bloom can there unfold -which does not wear the rich token of the inheritance of heroic blood; -no breeze be wafted that does not bear the breath of the immortal life -there breathed away. - -Of all that splendid but unavailing valor no one has told the story; -nor can I. The pen has no wing to follow where that sacrifice and -devotion sped their flight. But memory may rest down on some night -scenes too quiet and sombre with shadow to be vividly depicted, and -yet which have their interests from very contrast with the tangled and -lurid lights of battle. - -The desperate charge was over. We had not reached the enemy’s -fortifications, but only that fatal crest where we had seen five lines -of battle mount but to be cut to earth as by a sword-swoop of fire. We -had that costly honor which sometimes falls to the “reserve”--to go -in when all is havoc and confusion, through storm and slaughter, to -cover the broken and depleted ranks of comrades and take the battle -from their hands. Thus we had replaced the gallant few still lingering -on the crest, and received that withering fire which nothing could -withstand by throwing ourselves flat in a slight hollow of ground -within pistol shot of the enemy’s works, and mingled with the dead and -dying that strewed the field, we returned the fire till it reddened -into night, and at last fell away through darkness and silence. - -But out of that silence from the battle’s crash and roar rose new -sounds more appalling still; rose or fell, you knew not which, or -whether from the earth or air; a strange ventriloquism, of which you -could not locate the source, a smothered moan that seemed to come -from distances beyond reach of the natural sense, a wail so far and -deep and wide, as if a thousand discords were flowing together into a -keynote weird, unearthly, terrible to hear and bear, yet startling in -its nearness; the writhing concord broken by cries for help, pierced by -shrieks of paroxysm; some begging for a drop of water, some calling on -God for pity; and some on friendly hands to finish what the enemy had -so horribly begun; some with delirious, dreamy voices murmuring loved -names, as if the dearest were bending over them; some gathering their -last strength to fire a musket to call attention to them where they lay -helpless and deserted; and underneath all the time, the deep bass note -from closed lips too hopeless or too heroic to articulate their agony. - -Who could sleep, or who would? Our position was isolated and exposed. -Officers must be on the alert with their command. But the human took -the mastery of the officials; sympathy of soldiership. Command could -be devolved, but pity not. So with a staff officer I sallied forth -to see what we could do where the helpers seemed so few. Taking some -observation in order not to lose the bearing of our own position, we -guided our steps by the most pitious of the cries. Our part was but -little--to relieve a painful posture, to give a cooling draught to -fevered lips, to compress a severed artery, as we had learned to do, -though in bungling fashion; to apply a rude bandage, which might yet -prolong the life to the saving; to take a token or farewell message for -some stricken home--it was but little, yet it was an endless task. We -had moved to the right and rear of our own position--the part of the -field immediately above the city. The farther we went the more need -and the calls multiplied. - -Numbers half-awakening from the lethargy of death or of despair by -sounds of succor, begged us to take them quickly to a surgeon, and, -when we could not do that, imploring us to do the next most merciful -service and give them quick dispatch out of their misery. Right glad -were we when, after midnight, the shadowy ambulances came gliding -along and the kindly hospital stewards, with stretchers and soothing -appliances, let us feel that we might return to our proper duty. - -The night chill had now woven a misty veil over the field. Fortunately, -a picket fence we had encountered in our charge from the town had -compelled us to abandon our horses, and so had saved our lives on -the crest; but our overcoats had been strapped to the saddles, and -we missed them now. Most of the men, however, had their overcoats or -blankets--we were glad of that. Except the few sentries along the -front, the men had fallen asleep--the living with the dead. At last, -outwearied and depressed with the desolate scene, my own strength sank, -and I moved two dead men a little and lay down between them, making -a pillow of the breast of a third. The skirt of his overcoat drawn -over my face helped also to shield me from the bleak winds. There was -some comfort even in this companionship. But it was broken sleep. -The deepening chill drove many forth to take the garments of those -who could no longer need them, that they might keep themselves alive. -More than once I was startled from my unrest by some one turning back -the coat skirt from my face, peering, half vampire-like, to my fancy, -through the darkness to discover if it, too, were of the silent and -unresisting; turning away more disconcerted at my living word than if a -voice had spoken from the dead. - -And now we are aware of other figures wandering, ghost-like, over the -field. Some on errands like our own, drawn by compelling appeals; -some seeking a comrade with uncertain steps amid the unknown, and -ever and anon bending down to scan the pale visage closer, or, it may -be, by the light of a brief match, whose blue, flickering flame could -scarcely give the features a more recognizable or human look; some -man desperately wounded, yet seeking with faltering step, before his -fast ebbing blood shall have left him too weak to move, some quiet or -sheltered spot out of sound of the terrible appeals he could neither -answer nor endure, or out of reach of the raging battle coming with -the morning; one creeping, yet scarcely moving, from one lifeless form -to another, if, perchance, he might find a swallow of water in the -canteen which still swung from the dead soldier’s side; or another, as -with just returning or last remaining consciousness, vainly striving to -raise from a mangled heap, that he may not be buried with them while -yet alive, or some man yet sound of body, but pacing feverishly his -ground because in such a bivouac his spirit could not sleep. And so we -picked our way back amid the stark, upturned faces of our little living -line. - -Having held our places all the night, we had to keep to them all the -more closely the next day; for it would be certain death to attempt to -move away. As it was, it was only by making breastworks and barricades -of the dead men that covered the field that we saved any alive. We -did what we could to take a record of these men. A Testament that had -fallen from the breast pocket of the soldier who had been my pillow I -sent soon after to his home--he was not of my command--and it proved to -be the only clew his parents ever had of his fate. - -The next midnight, after thirty-six hours of this harrowing work, we -were bidden to withdraw into the town for refreshment and rest. But -neither rest nor motion was to be thought of till we had paid fitting -honor to our dead. We laid them on the spot where they had won, on the -sheltered edge of the crest, and committed their noble forms to the -earth, and their story to their country’s keeping. - - “We buried them darkly, at dead of night, - The sod with our bayonets turning.” - -Splinters of boards, torn by shot and shell from the fences we had -crossed, served as headstones, each name hurriedly carved under -brief match lights, anxiously hidden from the foe. It was a strange -scene around that silent and shadowy sepulchre. “We will give them a -starlight burial,” it was said; but heaven ordained a more sublime -illumination. As we bore them in dark and sad procession, their own -loved north took up the escort, and lifting all her glorious lights, -led the triumphal march over the bridge that spans the worlds--an -aurora borealis of marvelous majesty! Fiery lances and banners of blood -and flame, columns of pearly light, garlands and wreaths of gold, all -pointing upward and beckoning on. Who would not pass on as they did, -dead for their country’s life, lighted to burial by the meteor splendor -of their native sky? - - - - -PRESIDENT LINCOLN AND THE SOLDIERS. - - -The soldiers who were bearing the heat and burden of the war always -held a near place in Mr. Lincoln’s heart and sympathy. Upon one -occasion, when he had just written a pardon for a young soldier who -had been condemned by court-martial to be shot for sleeping at the post -as a sentinel, Mr. Lincoln remarked: - -“I could not think of going into eternity with the blood of that poor -young man on my skirts. It is not to be wondered at that a boy raised -on a farm, probably in the habit of going to bed at dark, should, when -required to watch, fall asleep; and I cannot consent to shoot him for -such an act.” The Rev. Newman Hall, in his funeral sermon upon Mr. -Lincoln, said that this young soldier was found dead on the field of -Fredericksburg with Mr. Lincoln’s photograph next to his heart, on -which he had inscribed, “God bless President Lincoln.” - -At another time there were twenty-four deserters sentenced to be shot, -and the warrants for their execution were sent to the President to be -signed. He refused, and the general of the division went to Washington -to see Mr. Lincoln. At the interview he said to the President that -unless these men were made an example of, the army itself would be -in danger. Mercy to the few is cruelty to the many. But Mr. Lincoln -replied: “There are already too many weeping widows in the United -States. For God’s sake don’t ask me to add to the number, for I won’t -do it.” - -“I am astonished at you, Ward,” said Mr. Lincoln; “you ought to have -known better. Hereafter, when you have to hit a man, use a club and not -your fist.” - - - - -A WOMAN’S COURAGE AT GETTYSBURG. - - -Mrs. Peter Thorn, of Gettysburg, lived in the house at the entrance -of the borough cemetery. The house was used as headquarters by -General O. O. Howard. Mrs. Thorn’s husband was away from home at that -time (serving in the 148th regiment of Pennsylvania volunteers, and -stationed in Virginia), leaving her with two quite young children. -During the first day of the fight General Howard wanted some one to -show him and tell about different roads leading from Gettysburg, and -asked a number of men and boys who were in the cellar of the house to -go with him and point them out. But these persons were all fearful and -refused to go. Then Mrs. Thorn showed her courage and patriotism by -voluntarily offering to show the roads. This offer was at first refused -by General Howard, who said he did not wish a woman to do what a man -had not the courage to do. Mrs. Thorn persisted in her offer, saying: -“Somebody must show you, and I can do it; I was born and brought up -here, and know the roads as well as anybody.” Her offer was accepted, -and with the general and his horse between her and the fire of the -enemy, Mrs. Thorn went from one spot to another pointing out the -different roads. When passing along the line of troops the general was -greeted with: “Why do you take a woman for a guide? This is no place -for her.” “I know it,” said the officer, “but I could not get a man to -come; they were all afraid.” This answer to them started cheers for -Mrs. Thorn, which lasted several minutes and showed that our soldiers -admired the courage shown at such a time. - - - - -STONEWALL JACKSON’S BRIDGE-BUILDER. - - -A useful man to Stonewall Jackson was old Miles, the Virginia -bridge-builder. The bridges were swept away so often by floods or -burned by the enemy that Miles was as necessary to the Confederate army -as Jackson himself. One day the Union troops had retreated, and burned -a bridge across the Shenandoah. Jackson, determined to follow them, -summoned Miles. - -“You must put all your men on that bridge,” said he; “they must work -all night, and the bridge must be completed by daylight. My engineer -will furnish you with the plan, and you can go right ahead.” - -Early next morning Jackson, in a very doubtful frame of mind, met the -old bridge-builder. - -“Well,” said the general, “did the engineer give you the plan for the -bridge?” - -“General,” returned Miles slowly, “the bridge is done. I don’t know -whether the pictur’ is or not.” - -From that time forth General Jackson allowed Miles to build the bridges -after his own fashion, without annoying him with “pictur’s.” - - - - -HOW CUSTER AND YOUNG TOOK DINNER. - - -Generals Pierce Young, of Georgia, and Custer were messmates and -classmates and devoted friends at West Point. In the war they were -major-generals of cavalry on opposing sides. One day General Young was -invited to breakfast at the Hunter mansion in Virginia. The beautiful -young ladies had prepared a smoking breakfast to which the general was -addressing himself with ardor when a shell burst through the house. -Glancing through a window he saw Custer charging toward the house at -the head of his staff. Out of the window Young went, calling to the -young ladies, “Tell Custer I leave this breakfast for him.” Custer -enjoyed it heartily, and looked forward with pleasure to the dinner in -the distance. In the meantime, Young, smarting over the loss of his -breakfast and his hasty retreat, drove the Federal line back, and by -dinner time was in sight of the Hunter mansion again. Custer, who was -just sitting down to dinner, laughed and said: “That’s Pierce Young -coming back. I knew he wouldn’t leave me here in peace. Here’s my -picture; give it to him, and tell him his old classmate leaves his love -with his excellent dinner.” And out of the window he went like a flash, -while the Georgia general walked in and sat down to dinner. - - * * * * * - -Transcriber’s Notes: - -Punctuation has been made consistent. - -Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. - -p. 13: The one-sentence paragraph that starts “I am astonished at -you...” does not belong in this story. It is from another story -entitled “Some of Lincoln’s Jokes” (George B. Herbert, _The Popular -History of the Civil War in America_, F. M. Lupton, Publisher, New -York, 1885, p. 476). - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VOLUME OF ANECDOTES, MULTUM IN -PARVO LIBRARY, VOL. 2, NO. 24, DEC., 1895 *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following -the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use -of the Project Gutenberg trademark. 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