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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ed33b2b --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #69282 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/69282) diff --git a/old/69282-0.txt b/old/69282-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index da62bfa..0000000 --- a/old/69282-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,7040 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of The doctor, &c., vol. I (of 7), by -Anonymous - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: The doctor, &c., vol. I (of 7) - -Author: Anonymous - -Contributor: Robert Southey - -Release Date: November 1, 2022 [eBook #69282] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Ron Swanson - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DOCTOR, &C., VOL. I (OF -7) *** - - -THE DOCTOR, &c. - - - - -There is a kind of physiognomy in the titles of books no less than in -the faces of men, by which a skilful observer will as well know what -to expect from the one as the other. - -BUTLER'S REMAINS. - - - - -THE DOCTOR, &c. - - -[Illustration: a tetrahedron] - - -VOL. I. - - - - -LONDON: - -LONGMAN, REES, ORME, BROWN, GREEN AND LONGMAN. - -1834. - - - - -LONDON: - -PRINTED BY W. NICOL, CLEVELAND-ROW, ST. JAMES'S. - - - - -PRELUDE OF MOTTOES. - - -Now they that like it may: the rest may chuse. - -G. WITHER. - - -_Je veux à face descouverte qu'on sçache que je fay le fol. Et -pourquoy ne me le sera-t-il permis, si le grand Solon dans Athenes, ne -douta de le faire pour apporter un grand bien à sa Republique? La -Republique dont j'ay charge, est ce petit monde que Dieu a estably en -moy; pour la conservation duquel je ne scay meilleur moyen que de -tromper mes afflictions par quelques honnestes jeux d'esprit; -appellez-les bouffonneries si ainsi le voulez._ - -PASQUIER. - - -If you are so bold as to venture a blowing-up, look closely to it! for -the plot lies deadly deep, and 'twill be between your legs before you -be aware of it.—But of all things have a care of putting it in your -pocket, for fear it takes fire, or runs away with your breeches. And -if you can shun it, read it not when you are alone; or at least not -late in the evening; for the venom is strongest about midnight, and -seizes most violently upon the head when the party is by himself. I -shall not tell you one line of what is in it; and therefore consider -well what you do, and look to yourself. But if you be resolved to -meddle, be sure have a care of catching cold, and keep to a moderate -diet; for there is danger and jeopardy in it besides. - -DR. EACHARD. - - -—For those faults of barbarism, Doric dialect, extemporanean stile, -tautologies, apish imitation, a rhapsody of rags gathered together -from several dung-hills, excrements of authors, toyes and fopperies, -confusedly tumbled out, without art, invention, judgement, wit, -learning, harsh, raw, rude, phantasticall, absurd, insolent, -indiscreet, ill-composed, indigested, vain, scurrile, idle, dull, and -dry:—I confess all; ('tis partly affected;) thou canst not think worse -of me than I do of myself. 'Tis not worth the reading! I yield it. I -desire thee not to lose time in perusing so vain a subject. I should -be peradventure loth myself to read him or thee so writing; 'tis not -_operæ pretium_. All I say is this, that I have precedents for it. - -BURTON. - - -A foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, -ideas, apprehensions, motions, revolutions; these are begot in the -ventricle of memory, nourished in the womb of _pia mater_, and -delivered upon the mellowing of the occasion. But the gift is good in -those in whom it is acute, and I am thankful for it. - -LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST. - - -If the world like it not, so much the worse for them. - -COWPER. - - - _—un boschetto, - Donne per quello givan fior cogliendo, - Con diletto, co' quel, co' quel dicendo; - Eccolo, eccol! . . che à?—è fiordaliso! - Va là per le viole; - Più colà per le rose, cole, cole, - Vaghe amorose. - O me, che' l prun mi punge! - Quell' altra me v' aggiunge. - U', ù, o, ch' è quel che salta? - Un grillo! un grillo! - Venite qua, correte, - Ramponzoli cogliete; - E' non con essi! - Si, son!—colei o colei - Vien qua, vien qua per funghi, un micolino - Piu colà, più cola per sermollino._ - -UGOLINO UBALDINI _or_ -FRANCO SACCHETTI. - - -If the particulars seem too large or to be over tediously insisted -upon, consider in how many impertinent and trifling discourses and -actions the best of us do consume far more hours than the perusal of -this requires minutes, and yet think it no tediousness: and let them -call to mind how many volumes this age imprints and reads which are -foolish if not wicked. Let them be persuaded likewise, that I have not -written this for those who have no need thereof, or to shew my own wit -or compendiousness but to instruct the ignorant; to whom I should more -often speak in vain, if I did not otherwhile by repetitions and -circumlocutions, stir up their affections, and beat into their -understandings the knowledge and feeling of those things which I -deliver. Yea, let them know that I know those expressions will be both -pleasing and profitable to some which they imagine to be needless and -superabundant; and that I had rather twenty nice critics should -censure me for a word here and there superfluous than that one of -those other should want that which might explain my meanings to their -capacities, and so make frustrate all my labour to those who have most -need of it, and for whom it was chiefly intended. - -G. WITHER. - - - _Tempus ad hoc mecum latuit, portuque resedit, - Nec fuit audaces impetus ire vias. - Nunc animi venere; juvat nunc denique funem - Solvere:—— - Ancora sublata est; terræ, portusque valete! - Imus; habet ventos nostra carina suos._ - -WALLIUS. - - - - -POSTSCRIPT. - - -There was a certain Pisander whose name has been preserved in one of -the proverbial sayings of the Greeks, because he lived in continual -fear of seeing his own ghost. How often have I seen mine while -arranging these volumes for publication, and carrying them through the -press! - -Twenty years have elapsed since the intention of composing them was -conceived, and the composition commenced, in what manner and in what -mood the reader will presently be made acquainted. The vicissitudes -which in the course of those years have befallen every country in -Europe are known to every one; and the changes, which, during such an -interval, must have occurred in a private family, there are few who -may not, from their own sad experience, readily apprehend. - -Circumstances which when they were touched upon in these volumes were -of present importance, and excited a lively interest, belong now to -the history of the past. They who were then the great performers upon -the theatre of public life have fretted their hour and disappeared -from the stage. Many who were living and flourishing when their names -were here sportively or severely introduced, are gone to their -account. The domestic circle which the introduction describes has in -the ordinary course of things been broken up; some of its members are -widely separated from others, and some have been laid to rest. The -reader may well believe that certain passages which were written with -most joyousness of heart, have been rendered purely painful to the -writer by time and change: and that some of his sweetest thoughts come -to him in chewing the cud, like wormwood and gall.—But it is a -wholesome bitterness. - -He has neither expunged nor altered any thing on any of these -accounts. It would be weakness to do this on the score of his own -remembrances, and in the case of allusions to public affairs and to -public men it would be folly. The Almanack of the current year will be -an old one as soon as next year begins. - -It is the writer's determination to remain unknown; and they who may -suppose that - - By certain signs here set in sundry place, - -they have discovered him, will deceive themselves. A Welsh Triad says -that the three unconcealable traits of a person by which he shall be -known, are the glance of his eye, the pronunciation of his speech, and -the mode of his self-motion;—in briefer English, his look, his voice, -and his gait. There are no such characteristics by which an author can -be identified. He must be a desperate mannerist who can be detected by -his style, and a poor proficient in his art if he cannot at any time -so vary it, as to put the critic upon a false scent. Indeed every -day's experience shews that they who assume credit to themselves, and -demand it from others for their discrimination in such things, are -continually and ridiculously mistaken. - -On that side the author is safe; he has a sure reliance upon the -honour as well as the discretion of the very few to whom he is -naturally or necessarily known; and if the various authors to whom the -Book will be ascribed by report, should derive any gratification from -the perusal, he requests of them in return that they will favour his -purpose by allowing such reports to pass uncontradicted. - - - - -CONTENTS. - - -PRELUDE OF MOTTOES.—Page v. - - -POSTSCRIPT.—p. ix. - - -CHAPTER VII. A. I.—p. 1. - -A FAMILY PARTY AT A NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR'S. - - Good Sir, reject it not, although it bring - Appearances of some fantastic thing - At first unfolding! - -GEORGE WITHER TO THE KING. - - -CHAPTER VI. A. I.—p. 6. - -SHEWING THAT AN AUTHOR MAY MORE EASILY BE KEPT AWAKE BY HIS OWN -IMAGINATIONS THAN PUT TO SLEEP BY THEM HIMSELF, WHATEVER MAY BE THEIR -EFFECT UPON HIS READERS. - -Thou sleepest worse than if a mouse should be forced to take up her -lodging in a cat's ear: a little infant that breeds its teeth, should -it lie with thee, would cry out as if thou wert the more unquiet -bedfellow. - -WEBSTER. - - -CHAPTER V. A. I.—p. 10. - -SOMETHING CONCERNING THE PHILOSOPHY OF DREAMS, AND THE AUTHOR'S -EXPERIENCE IN AERIAL HORSEMANSHIP. - - If a dream should come in now to make you afear'd, - With a windmill on his head and bells at his beard, - Would you straight wear your spectacles here at your toes, - And your boots on your brows and your spurs on your nose? - -BEN JONSON. - - -CHAPTER IV. A. I.—p. 15. - -A CONVERSATION AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE. - -_Tel condamne mon coq-à-l'âne qui un jour en justifiera le bon sens._ - -LA PRETIEUSE. - - -CHAPTER III. A. I.—p. 18. - -THE UTILITY OF POCKETS. A COMPLIMENT PROPERLY RECEIVED. - -_La tasca è propria cosa da Christiani._ - -BENEDETTO VARCHI. - - -CHAPTER II. A. I.—p. 25. - -CONCERNING DEDICATIONS, PRINTERS TYPES, AND IMPERIAL INK. - -_Il y aura des clefs, et des ouvertures de mes secrets._ - -LA PRETIEUSE. - - -DEDICATION.—p. 31. - - -CHAPTER I. A. I.—p. 33. - -NO BOOK CAN BE COMPLETE WITHOUT A PREFACE. - - I see no cause but men may pick their teeth, - Though Brutus with a sword did kill himself. - -TAYLOR, THE WATER POET. - - -ANTE-PREFACE.—p. 35. - -I here present thee with a hive of bees, laden some with wax, and some -with honey. Fear not to approach! There are no Wasps, there are no -Hornets here. If some wanton Bee should chance to buzz about thine -ears, stand thy ground and hold thy hands: there's none will sting -thee if thou strike not first. If any do, she hath honey in her bag -will cure thee too. - -QUARLES. - - -PREFACE.—p. 37. - -Oh for a quill plucked from a Seraph's wing! - -YOUNG. - - -INITIAL CHAPTER.—p. 43. - -᾿Εξ οὗ δὴ τὰ πρῶτα. - -HOMER. - - -THE DOCTOR, &c. - - _Eccoti il libro; mettivi ben cura - Iddio t' ajuti e dia buona ventura._ - -ORL. INNAM. - - -CHAPTER I. P. I.—p. 45. - -THE SUBJECT OF THIS HISTORY AT HOME AND AT TEA. - -If thou be a severe sour complexioned man then I here disallow thee to -be a competent judge. - -IZAAK WALTON. - - -CHAPTER II. P. I.—p. 47. - -WHEREIN CERTAIN QUESTIONS ARE PROPOSED CONCERNING TIME, PLACE AND -PERSONS. - -_Quis? quid? ubi? quibus auxiliis? cur? quomodo? quando?_ - -TECHNICAL VERSE. - - -CHAPTER III. P. I.—p. 51. - -WHOLESOME OBSERVATIONS UPON THE VANITY OF FAME. - -Whosoever shall address himself to write of matters of instruction, or -of any other argument of importance, it behoveth that before he enter -thereinto, he should resolutely determine with himself in what order -he will handle the same; so shall he best accomplish that he hath -undertaken, and inform the understanding, and help the memory of the -Reader. - -GWILLIM'S DISPLAY OF HERALDRY. - - -CHAPTER IV. P. I.—p. 56. - -BIRTH AND PARENTAGE OF DR. DOVE, WITH THE DESCRIPTION OF A YEOMAN'S -HOUSE IN THE WEST RIDING OF YORKSHIRE A HUNDRED YEARS AGO. - - _Non possidentem multa vocaveris - Recte beatum; rectius occupat - Nomen beati, qui Deorum - Muneribus sapienter uti, - Duramque callet pauperiem pati, - Pejusque letho flagitium timet._ - -HORACE, L. 4, Od. 9. - - -CHAPTER V. P. I.—p. 64. - -EXTENSION OF THE SCIENCE OF PHYSIOGNOMY, WITH SOME REMARKS UPON THE -PRACTICAL USES OF CRANIOLOGY. - -_Hanc ergo scientiam blande excipiamus, hilariterque amplectamur, ut -vere nostram et de nobismet ipsis tractantem; quam qui non amat, quam -qui non amplectitur, nec philosophiam amat, neque suæ vitæ discrimina -curat._ - -BAPTISTA PORTA. - - -CHAPTER VI. P. I.—p. 72. - -A COLLECTION OF BOOKS NONE OF WHICH ARE INCLUDED AMONGST THE -PUBLICATIONS OF ANY SOCIETY FOR THE PROMOTION OF KNOWLEDGE RELIGIOUS -OR PROFANE.—HAPPINESS IN HUMBLE LIFE. - - _Felix ille animi, divisque simillimus ipsis, - Quem non mordaci resplendens gloria fuco - Solicitat, non fastosi mala gaudia luxus, - Sed tacitos sinit ire dies, et paupere cultu - Exigit innocuæ tranquilla silentia vitæ._ - -POLITIAN. - - -CHAPTER VII. P. I.—p. 84. - -RUSTIC PHILOSOPHY. AN EXPERIMENT UPON MOONSHINE. - - _Quien comienza en juventud - A bien obrar, - Señal es de no errar - En senetud._ - -PROVERBIOS DEL MARQUES DE SANTILLANA. - - -CHAPTER VIII. P. I.—p. 93. - -A KIND SCHOOLMASTER AND A HAPPY SCHOOL BOY. - -Though happily thou wilt say that wands be to be wrought when they are -green, lest they rather break than bend when they be dry, yet know -also that he that bendeth a twig because he would see if it would bow -by strength may chance to have a crooked tree when he would have a -straight. - -EUPHUES. - - -INTERCHAPTER I.—p. 98. - -REMARKS IN THE PRINTING OFFICE. THE AUTHOR CONFESSES A DISPOSITION TO -GARRULITY. PROPRIETY OF PROVIDING CERTAIN CHAPTERS FOR THE RECEPTION -OF HIS EXTRANEOUS DISCOURSE. CHOICE OF AN APPELLATION FOR SUCH -CHAPTERS. - - _Perque vices aliquid, quod tempora longa videri - Non sinat, in medium vacuas referamus ad aures._ - -OVID. - - -CHAPTER IX. P. I.—p. 106. - -EXCEPTIONS TO ONE OF KING SOLOMON'S RULES—A WINTER'S EVENING AT -DANIEL'S FIRESIDE. - -These are my thoughts; I might have spun them out into a greater -length, but I think a little plot of ground, thick sown, is better -than a great field which, for the most part of it, lies fallow. - -NORRIS. - - -CHAPTER X. P. I.—p. 113. - -ONE WHO WAS NOT SO WISE AS HIS FRIENDS COULD HAVE WISHED, AND YET -QUITE AS HAPPY AS IF HE HAD BEEN WISER. NEPOTISM NOT CONFINED TO -POPES. - - There are of madmen as there are of tame, - All humoured not alike.———Some - Apish and fantastic; - And though 'twould grieve a soul to see God's image - So blemished and defaced, yet do they act - Such antic and such pretty lunacies, - That spite of sorrow, they will make you smile. - -DEKKER. - - -CHAPTER XI. P. I.—p. 121. - -A WORD TO THE READER, SHEWING WHERE WE ARE, AND HOW WE CAME HERE, AND -WHEREFORE; AND WHITHER WE ARE GOING. - - 'Tis my venture - On your retentive wisdom. - -BEN JONSON. - - -CHAPTER XII. P. I.—p. 129. - -A HISTORY NOTICED WHICH IS WRITTEN BACKWARD. THE CONFUSION OF TONGUES -AN ESPECIAL EVIL FOR SCHOOLBOYS. - - For never in the long and tedious tract - Of slavish grammar was I made to plod; - No tyranny of Rules my patience rackt; - I served no prenticehood to any Rod; - But in the freedom of the Practic way - Learnt to go right, even when I went astray. - -DR. BEAUMONT. - - -CHAPTER XIII. P. I.—p. 136. - -A DOUBT CONCERNING SCHOOL BOOKS, WHICH WILL BE DEEMED HERETICAL: AND -SOME ACCOUNT OF AN EXTRAORDINARY SUBSTITUTE FOR OVID OR VIRGIL. - -They say it is an ill mason that refuseth any stone; and there is no -knowledge but in a skilful hand serves, either positively as it is, or -else to illustrate some other knowledge. - -HERBERT'S REMAINS. - - -CHAPTER XIV. P. I.—p. 149. - -AN OBJECTION ANSWERED. - - Is this then your wonder? - Nay then you shall under- - stand more of my skill. - -BEN JONSON. - - -CHAPTER XV. P. I.—p. 154. - -THE AUTHOR VENTURES AN OPINION AGAINST THE PREVAILING WISDOM OF MAKING -CHILDREN PREMATURELY WISE. - - Pray you, use your freedom; - And so far, if you please allow me mine, - To hear you only; not to be compelled - To take your moral potions. - -MASSINGER. - - -CHAPTER XVI. P. I.—p. 159. - -USE AND ABUSE OF STORIES IN REASONING, WITH A WORD IN BEHALF OF -CHIMNEY-SWEEPERS AND IN REPROOF OF THE EARL OF LAUDERDALE. - -My particular inclination moves me in controversy especially to -approve his choice that said, _fortia mallem quam formosa_. - -DR. JACKSON. - - -INTERCHAPTER II.—p. 165. - -ABALLIBOOZOBANGANORRIBO. - -_Io'l dico dunque, e dicol che ognun m'ode._ - -BENEDETTO VARCHI. - - -CHAPTER XVII. P. I.—p. 172. - -THE HAPPINESS OF HAVING A CATHOLIC TASTE. - - There's no want of meat, Sir; - Portly and curious viands are prepared - To please all kinds of appetites. - -MASSINGER. - - -CHAPTER XVIII. P. I.—p. 179. - -ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL. - -Τὰ δ᾿ἄν ἐπιμνησϑῶ,—ὑπὸ τοῦ λόγου ἐξαναγκαζὀμενος ἐπιμνησϑῄσομαι. - -HERODOTUS. - - -CHAPTER XIX. P. I.—p. 184. - -A CONVERSATION WITH MISS GRAVEAIRS. - -_Operi suscepto inserviendum fuit;_ so Jacobus Mycillus pleadeth for -himself in his translation of Lucian's Dialogues, and so do I; I must -and will perform my task. - -BURTON. - - -CHAPTER XX. P. I.—p. 192. - -HOW TO MAKE GOLD. - - _L' Alchimista non travaglia a voto; - Ei cerca l' oro, ei cerca l' oro, io dico - Ch' ei cerca l' oro; e s' ei giungesse in porto - Fora ben per se stesso e per altrui. - L' oro e somma posanza infra mortali; - Chiedine a Cavalier, chiedine a Dame, - Chiedine a tutto il Mondo._ - -CHIABRERA. - - -CHAPTER XXI. P. I.—p. 201. - -A DOUBT CONCERNING THE USES OF PHILOSOPHY. - - _El comienzo de salud - es el saber, - distinguir y conocer - qual es virtud._ - -PROVERBIOS DEL MARQUES DE SANTILLANA. - - -CHAPTER. XXII. P. I.—p. 205. - -Τὸν δ᾿ ἀπαμειβόμενος. - - _O felice colui, che intender puote - Le cagion de le cose di natura, - Che al piu di que' che vivon sono ignote; - E sotto il piè si mette ogni paura - De fati, e de la morte, ch'è si trista, - Ne di vulgo gli cal, nè d'altro ha cura._ - -TANSILLO. - - -CHAPTER XXIII. P. I.—p. 213. - -ROWLAND DIXON AND HIS COMPANY OF PUPPETS. - - _Alli se ve tan eficaz el llanto, - las fabulas y historias retratadas, - que parece verdad, y es dulce encanto._ - - * * * * * - - _Y para el vulgo rudo, que ignorante - aborrece el manjar costoso, guisa - el plato del gracioso extravagante;_ - - _Con que les hartas de contento y risa, - gustando de mirar sayal grossero, - mas que sutil y candida camisa._ - -JOSEPH ORTIZ DE VILLENA. - - -CHAPTER XXIV. P. I.—p. 226. - -QUACK AND NO QUACK, BEING AN ACCOUNT OF DR. GREEN AND HIS MAN KEMP. -POPULAR MEDICINE, HERBARY, THEORY OF SIGNATURES, WILLIAM DOVE, JOHN -WESLEY, AND BAXTER. - - Hold thy hand! health's dear maintainer; - Life perchance may burn the stronger: - Having substance to maintain her - She untouched may last the longer. - When the Artist goes about - To redress her flame, I doubt - Oftentimes he snuffs it out. - -QUARLES. - - -CHAPTER XXV. P. I.—p. 254. - -_Hiatus valde lacrymabilis._ - - Time flies away fast, - The while we never remember - How soon our life here - Grows old with the year - That dies with the next December! - -HERRICK. - - -CHAPTER XXVI. P. I.—p. 258. - -DANIEL AT DONCASTER; THE REASON WHY HE WAS DESTINED FOR THE MEDICAL -PROFESSION, RATHER THAN HOLY ORDERS; AND SOME REMARKS UPON SERMONS. - -_Je ne veux dissimuler, amy Lecteur, que je n'aye bien préveu, et me -tiens pour deüement adverty, que ne puis eviter la reprehension -d'aucuns, et les calomnies de plusieurs, ausquels c'est éscrit -désplaira du tout._ - -CHRISTOFLE DE HERICOURT. - - -CHAPTER XXVII. P. I.—p. 272. - -A PASSAGE IN PROCOPIUS IMPROVED. A STORY CONCERNING URIM AND THUMMIM; -AND THE ELDER DANIEL'S OPINION OF THE PROFESSION OF THE LAW. - - Here is Domine Picklock - My man of Law, sollicits all my causes, - Follows my business, makes and compounds my quarrels - Between my tenants and me; sows all my strifes - And reaps them too, troubles the country for me, - And vexes any neighbour that I please. - -BEN JONSON. - - -CHAPTER XXVIII. P. I.—p. 278. - -PETER HOPKINS. EFFECTS OF TIME AND CHANGE. DESCRIPTION OF HIS -DWELLING-HOUSE. - - _Combien de changemens depuis que suis au monde, - Qui n'est qu' un point du tems!_ - -PASQUIER. - - -CHAPTER XXIX. P. I.—p. 284. - -A HINT OF REMINISCENCE TO THE READER. THE CLOCK OF ST. GEORGE'S. A -WORD IN HONOR OF ARCHDEACON MARKHAM. - -There is a ripe season for every thing, and if you slip that or -anticipate it, you dim the grace of the matter be it never so good. As -we say by way of Proverb that an hasty birth brings forth blind -whelps, so a good tale tumbled out before the time is ripe for it, is -ungrateful to the hearer. - -BISHOP HACKETT. - - -CHAPTER XXX. P. I.—p. 289. - -THE OLD BELLS RUNG TO A NEW TUNE. - - If the bell have any sides the clapper will find 'em. - -BEN JONSON. - - -CHAPTER XXXI. P. I.—p. 302. - -MORE CONCERNING BELLS. - - Lord, ringing changes all our bells hath marr'd; - Jangled they have and jarr'd - So long, they're out of tune, and out of frame; - They seem not now the same. - Put them in frame anew, and once begin - To tune them so, that they may chime all in. - -HERBERT. - - -CHAPTER XXXII. P. I.—p. 308. - -AN INTRODUCTION TO CERTAIN PRELIMINARIES ESSENTIAL TO THE PROGRESS OF -THIS WORK. - - _Mas demos ya el assiento en lo importante, - Que el tiempo huye del mundo por la posta._ - -BALBUENA. - - - - -THE DOCTOR, &c. - - - - -CHAPTER VII. A. I. - -A FAMILY PARTY AT A NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR'S. - - Good Sir, reject it not, although it bring - Appearances of some fantastic thing - At first unfolding! - -GEORGE WITHER TO THE KING. - - -I was in the fourth night of the story of the Doctor and his horse, -and had broken it off, not like Scheherezade because it was time to -get up, but because it was time to go to bed. It was at thirty-five -minutes after ten o'clock, on the 20th of July in the year of our Lord -1813. I finished my glass of punch, tinkled the spoon against its -side, as if making music to my meditations, and having my eyes fixed -upon the Bhow Begum, who was sitting opposite to me at the head of her -own table, I said, “It ought to be written in a Book!” - -There had been a heavy thunder-storm in the afternoon; and though the -thermometer had fallen from 78 to 70, still the atmosphere was -charged. If that mysterious power by which the nerves convey sensation -and make their impulses obeyed, be (as experiments seem to indicate) -identical with the galvanic fluid; and if the galvanic and electric -fluids be the same (as philosophers have more than surmised;) and if -the lungs (according to a happy hypothesis) elaborate for us from the -light of heaven this pabulum of the brain, and material essence, or -essential matter of genius,—it may be that the ethereal fire which I -had inhaled so largely during the day produced the bright conception, -or at least impregnated and quickened the latent seed. The punch, -reader, had no share in it. - -I had spoken as it were abstractedly, and the look which accompanied -the words was rather cogitative than regardant. The Bhow Begum laid -down her snuff-box and replied, entering into the feeling, as well as -echoing the words, “It _ought_ to be written in a book,—certainly it -ought.” - -They may talk as they will of the dead languages. Our auxiliary verbs -give us a power which the ancients, with all their varieties of mood, -and inflections of tense, never could attain. “It _must_ be written in -a book,” said I, encouraged by her manner. The mood was the same, the -tense was the same; but the gradation of meaning was marked in a way -which a Greek or Latin grammarian might have envied as well as -admired. - -“Pshaw! nonsense! stuff!” said my wife's eldest sister, who was -sitting at the right hand of the Bhow Begum; “I say write it in a book -indeed!” My wife's youngest sister was sitting diagonally opposite to -the last speaker: she lifted up her eyes and smiled. It was a smile -which expressed the same opinion as the late vituperative tones; there -was as much of incredulity in it; but more of wonder and less of -vehemence. - -My wife was at my left hand, making a cap for her youngest daughter, -and with her tortoiseshell-paper work-box before her. I turned towards -her and repeated the words, “It _must_ be written in a book!” But I -smiled while I was speaking, and was conscious of that sort of meaning -in my eyes, which calls out contradiction for the pleasure of sporting -with it. - -“Write it in a book?” she replied, “I am sure you wo'nt!” and she -looked at me with a frown. Poets have written much upon their ladies' -frowns, but I do not remember that they have ever described the thing -with much accuracy. When my wife frowns two perpendicular wrinkles, -each three quarters of an inch in length, are formed in the forehead, -the base of each resting upon the top of the nose, and equi-distant -from each other. The poets have also attributed dreadful effects to -the frown of those whom they love. I cannot say that I ever -experienced any thing very formidable in my wife's. At present she -knew her eyes would give the lie to it if they looked at me steadily -for a moment; so they wheeled to the left about quick, off at a -tangent, in a direction to the Bhow Begum, and then she smiled. She -could not prevent the smile; but she tried to make it scornful. - -My wife's nephew was sitting diagonally with her, and opposite his -mother, on the left hand of the Bhow Begum. “Oh!” he exclaimed, “it -ought to be written in a book! it will be a glorious book! write it, -uncle, I beseech you!” My wife's nephew is a sensible lad. He reads my -writings, likes my stories, admires my singing, and thinks as I do in -politics:—a youth of parts and considerable promise. - -“He _will_ write it!” said the Bhow Begum, taking up her snuff-box, -and accompanying the words with a nod of satisfaction and -encouragement. “He will never be so foolish!” said my wife. My wife's -eldest sister rejoined, “he is foolish enough for any thing.” - - - - -CHAPTER VI. A. I. - -SHEWING THAT AN AUTHOR MAY MORE EASILY BE KEPT AWAKE BY HIS OWN -IMAGINATIONS THAN PUT TO SLEEP BY THEM HIMSELF, WHATEVER MAY BE THEIR -EFFECT UPON HIS READERS. - -Thou sleepest worse than if a mouse should be forced to take up her -lodging in a cat's ear: a little infant that breeds its teeth, should -it lie with thee, would cry out as if thou wert the more unquiet -bedfellow. - -WEBSTER. - - -When I ought to have been asleep the “unborn pages crowded on my -soul.” The Chapters ante-initial and post-initial appeared in -delightful prospect “long drawn out:” the beginning, the middle and -the end were evolved before me: the whole spread itself forth, and -then the parts unravelled themselves and danced the hays. The very -types rose in judgment against me, as if to persecute me for the tasks -which during so many years I had imposed upon them. Capitals and small -letters, pica and long-primer, brevier and bourgeois, english and -nonpareil, minion and pearl, Romans and Italics, black-letter and red, -past over my inward sight. The notes of admiration!!! stood straight -up in view as I lay on the one side; and when I turned on the other to -avoid them, the notes of interrogation cocked up their hump-backs??? -Then came to recollection the various incidents of the eventful tale. -“Visions of glory spare my aching sight!” The various personages, like -spectral faces in a fit of the vapours, stared at me through my -eyelids. The Doctor oppressed me like an incubus; and for the -Horse,—he became a perfect night-mare. “Leave me, leave me to repose!” - -Twelve by the kitchen clock!—still restless!—One! O Doctor, for one of -thy comfortable composing draughts!—Two! here's a case of -insomnolence! I, who in summer close my lids as instinctively as the -daisy when the sun goes down; and who in winter could hybernate as -well as Bruin, were I but provided with as much fat to support me -during the season, and keep the wick of existence burning:—I, who, if -my pedigree were properly made out, should be found to have descended -from one of the Seven Sleepers, and from the Sleeping Beauty in the -Wood! - -I put my arms out of bed. I turned the pillow for the sake of applying -a cold surface to my cheek. I stretched my feet into the cold corner. -I listened to the river, and to the ticking of my watch. I thought of -all sleepy sounds and all soporific things: the flow of water, the -humming of bees, the motion of a boat, the waving of a field of corn, -the nodding of a mandarine's head on the chimney-piece, a horse in a -mill, the opera, Mr. Humdrum's conversation, Mr. Proser's poems, Mr. -Laxative's speeches, Mr. Lengthy's sermons. I tried the device of my -own childhood, and fancied that the bed revolved with me round and -round. Still the Doctor visited me as perseveringly as if I had been -his best patient; and, call up what thoughts I would to keep him off, -the Horse charged through them all. - -At last Morpheus reminded me of Dr. Torpedo's divinity lectures, where -the voice, the manner, the matter, even the very atmosphere, and the -streamy candle-light were all alike somnific;—where he who by strong -effort lifted up his head, and forced open the reluctant eyes, never -failed to see all around him fast asleep. Lettuces, cowslip-wine, -poppy-syrup, mandragora, hop-pillows, spiders'-web pills, and the -whole tribe of narcotics, up to bang and the black drop, would have -failed: but this was irresistible; and thus twenty years after date I -found benefit from having attended the course. - - - - -CHAPTER V. A. I. - -SOMETHING CONCERNING THE PHILOSOPHY OF DREAMS, AND THE AUTHOR'S -EXPERIENCE IN AERIAL HORSEMANSHIP. - - If a dream should come in now to make you afear'd, - With a windmill on his head and bells at his beard, - Would you straight wear your spectacles here at your toes, - And your boots on your brows and your spurs on your nose? - -BEN JONSON. - - -The wise ancients held that dreams are from Jove. Virgil hath told us -from what gate of the infernal regions they go out, but at which of -the five entrances of the town of Mansoul they get in John Bunyan hath -not explained. Some have conceited that unembodied spirits have access -to us during sleep, and impress upon the passive faculty, by divine -permission, presentiments of those things whereof it is fitting that -we should be thus dimly forewarned. This opinion is held by Baxter, -and to this also doth Bishop Newton incline. The old atomists supposed -that the likenesses or spectres of corporeal things, (_exuviæ scilicet -rerum, vel effluvia_, as they are called by Vaninus, when he takes -advantage of them to explain the _Fata Morgana_) the atomists I say, -supposed that these spectral forms which are constantly emitted from -all bodies, - - _Omne genus quoniam passim simulacra feruntur_[1] - -assail the soul when she ought to be at rest; according to which -theory all the lathered faces that are created every morning in the -looking-glass, and all the smiling ones that my Lord Simper and Mr. -Smallwit contemplate there with so much satisfaction during the day, -must at this moment be floating up and down the world. Others again -opine, as if in contradiction to those who pretend life to be a dream, -that dreams are realities, and that sleep sets the soul free like a -bird from a cage. John Henderson saw the spirit of a slumbering cat -pass from her in pursuit of a visionary mouse;—(I know not whether he -would have admitted the fact as an argument for materialism); and the -soul of Hans Engelbrecht not only went to hell, but brought back from -it a stench which proved to all the bystanders that it had been -there.—Faugh! - -[Footnote 1: Lucretius.] - -Whether then my spirit that night found its way out at the nose, (for -I sleep with my mouth shut) and actually sallied out seeking -adventures; or whether the spectrum of the Horse floated into my -chamber; or some benevolent genius or dæmon assumed the well-known and -welcome form; or whether the dream were merely a dream,— - - _si fuè en espiritu, ò fuè - en cuerpo, no sè; que yo - solo sè, que no lo sè;_[2] - -so however it was that in the visions of the night I mounted Nobs. -Tell me not of Astolfo's hippogriff, or Pacolet's wooden steed; nor - - Of that wonderous horse of brass - Whereon the Tartar King did pass; - -nor of Alborak, who was the best beast for a night-journey that ever -man bestrode. Tell me not even of Pegasus! I have ridden him many a -time; by day and by night have I ridden him; high and low, far and -wide, round the earth, and about it, and over it, and under it. I know -all his earth-paces, and his sky-paces. I have tried him at a walk, at -an amble, at a trot, at a canter, at a hand-gallop, at full gallop and -at full speed. I have proved him in the _manége_ with single turns and -the _manége_ with double turns, his bounds, his curvets, his -_pirouettes_, and his _pistes_, his _croupade_ and his _balotade_, his -gallop-galliard and his capriole. I have been on him when he has -glided through the sky with wings outstretched and motionless, like a -kite or a summer cloud; I have bestrode him when he went up like a -bittern with a strong spiral flight, round, round and round, and -upward, upward, upward, circling and rising still; and again when he -has gone full sail, or full fly, with his tail as straight as a -comet's behind him. But for a hobby or a night horse, Pegasus is -nothing to Nobs. - -[Footnote 2: Calderon.] - -Where did we go on that memorable night? What did we see?—What did we -do?—Or rather what did we not see! and what did we not perform! - - - - -CHAPTER IV. A. I. - -A CONVERSATION AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE. - -_Tel condamne mon Coq-à-l'âne qui un jour en justifiera le bon sens._ - -LA PRETIEUSE. - - -I went down to breakfast as usual overflowing with joyous thoughts. -For mirth and for music the skylark is but a type of me. I warbled a -few wood notes wild, and then full of the unborn work, addressed -myself to my wife's eldest sister, and asked if she would permit me to -dedicate the Book to her. “What book?” she replied. “The History,” -said I, “of Dr. Daniel Dove of Doncaster, and his Horse Nobs.” She -answered, “No indeed! I will have no such nonsense dedicated to -me!”—and with that she drew up her upper lip, and the lower region of -the nose. I turned to my wife's youngest sister: “Shall I have the -pleasure of dedicating it to you?” She raised her eyes, inclined her -head forwards with a smile of negation, and begged leave to decline -the honour. “Commandante,” said I, to my wife and Commandress, “shall -I dedicate it then to you?” My Commandante made answer, “not unless -you have something better to dedicate.” - -“So Ladies!” said I; “the stone which the builders rejected,”—and then -looking at my wife's youngest sister—“Oh, it will be such a book!” The -manner and the tone were so much in earnest that they arrested the -bread and butter on the way to her mouth; and she exclaimed, with her -eyes full of wonder and incredulity at the same time, “Why you never -can be serious?” “Not serious?” said I; “why I have done nothing but -think of it and dream of it the whole night.” “He told me so,” -rejoined my Commandante, “the first thing in the morning.” “Ah -Stupey!” cried my wife's eldest sister, accompanying the compliment -with a protrusion of the head, and an extension of the lips, which -disclosed not only the whole remaining row of teeth, but the chasms -that had been made in it by the tooth drawer; _hiatus valde -lacrymabiles_. - -“Two volumes,” said I, “and this in the title-page!” So taking out my -pencil, I drew upon the back of a letter the mysterious monogram, -erudite in its appearance as the digamma of Mr. A. F. Valpy. - -[Illustration: a tetrahedron] - -It past from hand to hand. “Why he is not in earnest?” said my wife's -youngest sister. “He never can be,” replied my wife. And yet beginning -to think that peradventure I was, she looked at me with a quick turn -of the eye,—“a pretty subject indeed for you to employ your time upon! -You,—_vema whehaha yohu almad otenba twandri athancod!_” I have -thought proper to translate this part of my Commandante's speech into -the Garamna tongue. - - - - -CHAPTER III. A. I. - -THE UTILITY OF POCKETS. A COMPLIMENT PROPERLY RECEIVED. - - _La tasca è proprio cosa da Christiani._ - -BENEDETTO VARCHI. - - -My eldest daughter had finished her Latin lessons, and my son had -finished his Greek; and I was sitting at my desk, pen in hand, and in -mouth at the same time, (a substitute for biting the nails which I -recommend to all onygophagists;) when the Bhow Begum came in with her -black velvet reticule, suspended as usual from her arm by its silver -chain. - -Now of all the inventions of the Tailor (who is of all artists the -most inventive) I hold the pocket to be the most commodious, and -saving the fig leaf, the most indispensible. Birds have their craw; -ruminating beasts their first or ante-stomach; the monkey has his -cheek, the opossum her pouch; and, so necessary is some convenience of -this kind for the human animal, that the savage who cares not for -clothing makes for himself a pocket if he can. The Hindoo carries his -snuff-box in his turban. Some of the inhabitants of Congo make a -secret fob in their wooly toupet, of which as P. Labat says, the worst -use they make is—to carry poison in it. The Matolas, a long haired -race who border upon the Caffres, form their locks into a sort of -hollow cylinder in which they bear about their little implements; -certes a more sensible bag than such as is worn at court. The New -Zealander is less ingenious; he makes a large opening in his ear, and -carries his knife in it. The Ogres, who are worse than savages, and -whose ignorance and brutality is in proportion to their bulk, are -said, upon the authority of tradition, when they have picked up a -stray traveller or two more than they require for their supper, to -lodge them in a hollow tooth as a place of security till breakfast; -whence it may be inferred that they are not liable to tooth ache, and -that they make no use of tooth-picks. Ogres, Savages, Beasts and Birds -all require something to serve the purpose of a pocket. Thus much for -the necessity of the thing. Touching its antiquity much might be said; -for it would not be difficult to show, with that little assistance -from the auxiliaries _must_ and _have_ and _been_ which enabled -Whitaker of Manchester to write whole quartos of hypothetical history -in the potential mood, that pockets are coeval with clothing: and, as -erudite men have maintained that language and even letters are of -divine origin, there might with like reason be a conclusion drawn from -the twenty-first verse of the third chapter of the book of Genesis, -which it would not be easy to impugn. Moreover Nature herself shows us -the utility, the importance, nay the indispensability, or, to take a -hint from the pure language of our diplomatists, the -_sinequanonniness_ of pockets. There is but one organ which is common -to all animals whatsoever: some are without eyes, many without noses; -some have no heads, others no tails; some neither one nor the other; -some there are who have no brains, others very pappy ones; some no -hearts, others very bad ones; but all have a stomach,—and what is the -stomach but a live inside pocket? Hath not Van Helmont said of it, -“_saccus vel pera est, ut ciborum olla?_” - -Dr. Towers used to have his coat pockets made of capacity to hold a -quarto volume—a wise custom; but requiring stout cloth, good buckram, -and strong thread well waxed. I do not so greatly commend the humour -of Dr. Ingenhouz, whose coat was lined with pockets of all sizes, -wherein, in his latter years, when science had become to him as a -plaything, he carried about various materials for chemical -experiments: among the rest so many compositions for fulminating -powders in glass tubes, separated only by a cork in the middle of the -tube, that, if any person had unhappily given him a blow with a stick, -he might have blown up himself and the Doctor too. For myself, four -coat pockets of the ordinary dimensions content me; in these a -sufficiency of conveniences may be carried, and that sufficiency -methodically arranged. For mark me, gentle or ungentle Reader! there -is nothing like method in pockets, as well as in composition: and what -orderly and methodical man would have his pocket-handkerchief, and his -pocket-book, and the key of his door (if he be a batchelor living in -chambers) and his knife, and his loose pence and half-pence, and the -letters which peradventure he might just have received, or -peradventure he may intend to drop in the post-office, two-penny or -general, as he passes by, and his snuff, if he be accustomed so to -regale his olfactory conduits, or his tobacco-box, if he prefer the -masticable to the pulverized weed; or his box of lozenges if he should -be troubled with a tickling cough; and the sugar-plumbs and the -gingerbread nuts which he may be carrying home to his own children, or -to any other small men and women upon whose hearts he may have a -design;—who I say would like to have all this in chaos and confusion, -one lying upon the other, and the thing which is wanted first fated -alway to be undermost!—(Mr. Wilberforce knows the inconvenience;—) the -snuff working its way out to the gingerbread, the sugar-plumbs -insinuating themselves into the folds of the pocket-handkerchief, the -pence grinding the lozenges to dust for the benefit of the -pocket-book, and the door key busily employed in unlocking the -letters? - -Now, forasmuch as the commutation of female pockets for the reticule -leadeth to inconveniences like this, (not to mention that the very -name of commutation ought to be held in abhorrence by all who hold -day-light and fresh air essential to the comfort and salubrity of -dwelling-houses,) I abominate that bag of the Bhow Begum, -notwithstanding the beauty of the silver chain upon the black velvet. -And perceiving at this time that the clasp of its silver setting was -broken, so that the mouth of the bag was gaping pitiably, like a sick -or defunct oyster, I congratulated her as she came in upon this -farther proof of the commodiousness of the invention; for here, in the -country, there is no workman who can mend that clasp, and the bag must -therefore either be laid aside, or used in that deplorable state. - -When the Bhow Begum had seated herself I told her how my proffered -dedication had been thrice rejected with scorn, and repeating the -offer I looked for a more gracious reply. But, as if scorn had been -the influenza of the female mind that morning, she answered, “No; -indeed she would not have it after it had been refused by every body -else.” “Nay, nay,” said I; “it is as much in your character to accept, -as it was in their's to refuse.” While I was speaking she took a pinch -of snuff; the nasal titillation co-operated with my speech, for when -any one of the senses is pleased, the rest are not likely to continue -out of humour. “Well,” she replied, “I will have it dedicated to me, -because I shall delight in the book.” And she powdered the carpet with -tobacco dust as she spake. - - - - -CHAPTER II. A. I. - -CONCERNING DEDICATIONS, PRINTERS TYPES AND IMPERIAL INK. - - _Il y aura des clefs, et des ouvertures de mes secrets._ - -LA PRETIEUSE. - - -Monsieur Dellon, having been in the Inquisition at Goa, dedicated an -account of that tribunal, and of his own sufferings to Mademoiselle Du -Cambout de Coislin, in these words: - - -_Mademoiselle_ - -_J'aurois tort de me plaindre des rigueurs de l'Inquisition, et des -mauvais traitemens que j'ay éprouvez de la part de ses ministres, -puisqu'en me fournissant la matiére de cet ouvrage, ils m'ont procuré -l'avantage de vous le dedier._ - - -This is the book which that good man Claudius Buchanan with so much -propriety put into the hands of the Grand Inquisitor of India, when he -paid him a visit at the Inquisition, and asked him his opinion of the -accuracy of the relation upon the spot! - -The Frenchman's compliment may truly be said to have been far-fetched -and dearly bought. Heaven forefend that I should either go so far for -one, or purchase it at such a price! - -A dedication has oftentimes cost the unhappy author a greater -consumption of thumb and finger-nail than the whole book besides, and -all varieties of matter and manner have been resorted to. Mine must be -so far in character with the delectable history which it introduces -that it shall be unlike all which have ever gone before it. I knew a -man, (one he was who would have been an ornament to his country if -methodism and madness had not combined to overthrow a bright and -creative intellect) who, in one of his insaner moods, printed a sheet -and a half of muddy rhapsodies with the title of the “Standard of God -Displayed:” and he prefaced it by saying that the price of a perfect -book, upon a perfect subject, ought to be a perfect sum in a perfect -coin; that is to say one guinea. Now as Dr. Daniel Dove was a perfect -Doctor, and his horse Nobs was a perfect horse, and as I humbly hope -their history will be a perfect history, so ought the Dedication -thereunto to be perfect in its kind. Perfect therefore it shall be, as -far as kalotypography can make it. For though it would be hopeless to -exceed all former Dedications in the turn of a compliment or of a -sentence, in the turn of the letters it is possible to exceed them -all. It was once my fortune to employ a printer who had a love for his -art; and having a taste that way myself, we discussed the merits of a -new font one day when I happened to call in upon him. I objected to -the angular inclination of a capital italic _A_ which stood upon its -pins as if it were starting aghast from the next letter on the left, -and was about to tumble upon that to the right; in which case down -would go the rest of the word, like a row of soldiers which children -make with cards. My printer was too deeply enamoured with the beauties -of his font, to have either ear or eye for its defects; and hastily -waiving that point he called my attention to a capital _R_ in the same -line, which cocked up its tail just as if it had been nicked; that -cock of the tail had fascinated him. “Look Sir,” said he, while his -eyes glistened with all the ardour of an amateur; “look at that -turn!—that's sweet, Sir!” and drawing off the hand with the forefinger -of which he had indicated it, he described in the air the turn that -had delighted him, in a sort of heroic flourish, his head with a -diminished axis, like the inner stile of a Pentegraph, following the -movement. I have never seen that _R_ since without remembering him. ** -*** ** **** ** *** ******** ** *** ***** ******* ** *******, *** -********* *****, ***, *** ** *** ******* ***** ** **********, *** *** -*******. He who can read the stars, may read in them the secret which -he seeketh. - -But the turns of my Dedication to the Bhow Begum shall not be trusted -to the letter founders, a set of men remarkable for involving their -craft in such mystery that no one ever taught it to another, every one -who has practised it having been obliged either surreptitiously to -obtain the secret, or to invent a method for himself. It shall be in -the old English letter, not only because that alphabet hath in its -curves and angles, its frettings and redundant lines, a sort of -picturesque similitude with Gothic architecture, but also because in -its breadth and beauty it will display the colour of the ink to most -advantage. For the Dedication shall not be printed in black after the -ordinary fashion, nor in white like the Sermon upon the Excise Laws, -nor in red after the mode of Mr. Dibdin's half titles, but in the -colour of that imperial encaustic ink, which by the laws of the Roman -Empire it was death for any but the Roman Emperor himself to use. We -Britons live in a free country, wherein every man may use what -coloured ink seemeth good to him, and put as much gall in it as he -pleases, or any other ingredient whatsoever. Moreover this is an -imperial age, in which to say nothing of M. Ingelby the Emperor of the -Conjurors, we have seen no fewer than four new Emperors. He of Russia -who did not think the old title of Peter the Great good enough for -him: he of France, for whom any name but that of Tyrant or Murderer is -too good; he of Austria who took up one imperial appellation to cover -over the humiliating manner in which he laid another down; and he of -Hayti, who if he be wise will order all public business to be carried -on in the talkee-talkee tongue, and make it high treason for any -person to speak or write French in his dominions. We also must dub our -old Parliament imperial forsooth! that we may not be behindhand with -the age. Then we have Imperial Dining Tables! Imperial Oil for -nourishing the hair! Imperial Liquid for Boot Tops! Yea, and, by all -the Cæsars deified and damnified, Imperial Blacking! For my part I -love to go with the stream, so I will have an Imperial Dedication. - -Behold it Reader. Therein is mystery. - - - - -[Illustration: To The Bhow Begum KEDORA NIABARMA] - - - - -CHAPTER I. A. I. - -NO BOOK CAN BE COMPLETE WITHOUT A PREFACE. - - I see no cause but men may pick their teeth, - Though Brutus with a sword did kill himself. - -TAYLOR, THE WATER POET. - - -Who was the Inventor of Prefaces? I shall be obliged to the immortal -Mr. Urban, (immortal, because like the king in law he never dies) if -he will propound this question for me in his Magazine, that great -lumber-room wherein small ware of all kinds has been laid up -higgledy-piggledy by half-penny-worths or farthing-worths at a time -for fourscore years, till like broken glass, rags, or rubbish it has -acquired value by mere accumulation. To send a book like this into the -world without a Preface would be as impossible as it is to appear at -Court without a bag at the head and a sword at the tail, for as the -perfection of dress must be shown at Court, so in this history should -the perfection of histories be exhibited. The book must be _omni -genere absolutum_; it must prove and exemplify the perfectibility of -books: yea with all imaginable respect for the “Delicate -Investigation,” which I leave in undisputed possession of an -appellation so exquisitely appropriate, I conceive that the title of -THE BOOK, as a popular designation κατ᾿ εξοχην, should be transferred -from the edifying report of that Inquiry, to the present unique, -unrivalled and unrivalable production;—a production the like whereof -hath not been, is not, and will not be. Here however let me warn my -Greek and Arabian translators how they render the word, that if they -offend the Mufti or the Patriarch, the offence as well as the danger -may be theirs: I wash my hands of both. I write in plain English, -innocently and in the simplicity of my heart: what may be made of it -in heathen languages concerns not me. - - - - -ANTE-PREFACE. - -I here present thee with a hive of bees, laden some with wax, and some -with honey. Fear not to approach! There are no Wasps, there are no -Hornets here. If some wanton Bee should chance to buzz about thine -ears, stand thy ground and hold thy hands: there's none will sting -thee if thou strike not first. If any do, she hath honey in her bag -will cure thee too. - -QUARLES. - - -Prefaces, said Charles Blount, Gent., who committed suicide because -the law would not allow him to marry his brother's widow,—(a law, be -it remarked in passing, which is not sanctioned by reason, and which -instead of being in conformity with scripture, is in direct opposition -to it, being in fact the mere device of a corrupt and greedy -church)—“Prefaces,” said this flippant, ill-opinioned and unhappy man, -“ever were, and still are but of two sorts, let other modes and -fashions vary as they please. Let the profane long peruke succeed the -godly cropt hair; the cravat, the ruff; presbytery, popery; and popery -presbytery again, yet still the author keeps to his old and wonted -method of prefacing; when at the beginning of his book he enters, -either with a halter about his neck, submitting himself to his -reader's mercy whether he shall be hanged, or no; or else in a huffing -manner he appears with the halter in his hand, and threatens to hang -his reader, if he gives him not his good word. This with the -excitement of some friends to his undertaking, and some few apologies -for want of time, books, and the like, are the constant and usual -shams of all scribblers as well ancient as modern.”—This was not true -then, nor is it now; but when he proceeds to say, “for my part I enter -the lists upon another score,”—so say I with him; and my Preface shall -say the rest. - - - - -PREFACE. - - Oh for a quill plucked from a Seraph's wing! - -YOUNG. - - -So the Poet exclaimed; and his exclamation may be quoted as one -example more of the vanity of human wishes; for in order to get a -Seraph's quill it would be necessary, according to Mrs. Glasse's -excellent item in her directions for roasting a hare, to begin by -catching a Seraph. A quill from a Seraph's wing is, I confess, above -my ambition; but one from a Peacock's tail was within my reach; and be -it known unto all people, nations and languages, that with a Peacock's -quill this Preface hath been penned—literally—truly, and _bona-fidely_ -speaking. And this is to write, as the learned old Pasquier says, -_pavonesquement_, which in latin minted for the nonce may be rendered -_pavonicè_ and in English peacockically or peacockishly, whichever the -reader may like best. That such a pen has verily and indeed been used -upon this occasion I affirm. I affirm it upon the word of a true man; -and here is a Captain of his Majesty's Navy at my elbow, who himself -made the pen, and who, if evidence were required to the fact, would -attest it by as round an oath as ever rolled over a right English -tongue. Nor will the time easily escape his remembrance, the bells -being at this moment ringing, June 4, 1814, to celebrate the King's -birthday, and the public notification that peace has been concluded -with France. - -I have oftentimes had the happiness of seeing due commendation -bestowed by gentle critics, unknown admirers and partial friends upon -my pen, which has been married to all amiable epithets:—classical, -fine, powerful, tender, touching, pathetic, strong, fanciful, daring, -elegant, sublime, beautiful. I have read these epithets with that -proper satisfaction which when thus applied they could not fail to -impart, and sometimes qualified the pride which they inspired by -looking at the faithful old tool of the Muses beside me, worn to the -stump in their service: the one end mended up to the quick in that -spirit of œconomy which becomes a son of the Lackland family, and -shortened at the other by the gradual and alternate processes of -burning and biting, till a scant inch only is left above the finger -place. Philemon Holland was but a type of me in this respect. Indeed I -may be allowed to say that I have improved upon his practice, or at -least that I get more out of a pen than he did, for in the engraved -title-page to his Cyrupædia, where there appears the Portrait of the -_Interpres_ marked by a great D inclosing the Greek letter Φ (which I -presume designates Doctor Philemon) _ætatis suæ_ 80. A°. 1632, it may -be plainly seen that he used his pen only at one end. Peradventure he -delighted not, as I do, in the mitigated ammoniac odour. - -But thou, O gentle reader, who in the exercise of thy sound judgment -and natural benignity wilt praise this Preface, thou mayest with -perfect propriety bestow the richest epithets upon the pen wherewith -its immortal words were first clothed in material forms. Beautiful, -elegant, fine, splendid, fanciful, will be to the very letter of -truth: versatile it is as the wildest wit; flexible as the most -monkey-like talent; and shouldst thou call it tender, I will whisper -in thine ear—that it is only too soft. Yet softness may be suitable; -for of my numerous readers one half will probably be soft by sex, and -of the other half a very considerable proportion soft by nature. Soft -therefore be the Pen and soft the strain. - -I have drawn up the window-blinds (though sunshine at this time acts -like snuff upon the mucous membrane of my nose) in order that the -light may fall upon this excellent Poet's wand as I wave it to and -fro, making cuts five and six of the broad-sword exercise. Every -feather of its fringe is now lit up by the sun; the hues of green and -gold and amethyst are all brought forth; and that predominant lustre -which can only be likened to some rich metallic oxyd; and that spot of -deepest purple, the pupil of an eye for whose glorious hue neither -metals nor flowers nor precious stones afford a resemblance: its -likeness is only to be found in animated life, in birds and insects -whom nature seems to have formed when she was most prodigal of beauty: -I have seen it indeed upon the sea, but it has been in some quiet bay -when the reflection of the land combined with the sky and the ocean to -produce it. - -And what can be more emblematic of the work which I am beginning than -the splendid instrument wherewith the Preface is traced? What could -more happily typify the combination of parts each perfect in itself -when separately considered, yet all connected into one harmonious -whole; the story running through like the stem or back-bone, which the -episodes and digressions fringe like so many featherlets, leading up -to that catastrophe, the gem or eye-star, for which the whole was -formed, and in which all terminate. - -They who are versed in the doctrine of sympathies and the arcana of -correspondences as revealed to the Swedish Emanuel, will doubtless -admire the instinct or inspiration which directed my choice to the -pavonian Pen. The example should be followed by all consumers of ink -and quill. Then would the lover borrow a feather from the turtle dove. -The lawyer would have a large assortment of kite, hawk, buzzard and -vulture: his clients may use pigeon or gull. Poets according to their -varieties. Mr. —— the Tom Tit. Mr. —— the Water-wagtail. Mr. —— the -Crow. Mr. —— the Mocking-bird. Mr. —— the Magpie. Mr. —— the Sky-lark. -Mr. —— the Eagle. Mr. —— the Swan. Lord —— the Black Swan. Critics -some the Owl, others the Butcher Bird. Your challenger must indite -with one from the wing of a game cock: he who takes advantage of a -privileged situation to offer the wrong and shrink from the atonement -will find a white feather. Your dealers in public and private scandal, -whether Jacobins or Anti-Jacobins, the pimps and pandars of a -profligate press should use none but duck feathers, and those of the -dirtiest that can be found in the purlieus of Pimlico or St. George's -Fields. But for the Editor of the Edinburgh Review, whether he -dictates in morals or in taste, or displays his peculiar talent in -political prophecy, he must continue to use goose quills. Stick to the -goose Mr. Jeffrey, while you live stick to the Goose! - - - - -INITIAL CHAPTER. - -᾿Εξ οὗ δὴ τὰ πρῶτα. - -HOMER. - - -They who remember the year 1800 will remember also the great -controversy whether it was the beginning of a century, or the end of -one; a controversy in which all Magazines, all Newspapers, and all -persons took part. Now as it has been deemed expedient to divide this -work, or to speak more emphatically this Opus, or more emphatically -still this Ergon, into Chapters Ante-Initial and Post-Initial, a -dispute of the same nature might arise among the commentators in after -ages, if especial care were not now taken to mark distinctly the -beginning. This therefore is the Initial Chapter, neither Ante nor -Post, but standing between both; the point of initiation, the goal of -the _Antes_, the starting place of the _Posts_; the mark at which the -former end their career, and from whence the latter take their -departure. - - - - -THE DOCTOR, &c. - - _Eccoti il libro; mettivi ben cura - Iddio t' ajuti e dia buona ventura._ - -ORL. INNAM. - - - - -CHAPTER I. P. I. - -THE SUBJECT OF THIS HISTORY AT HOME AND AT TEA. - -If thou be a severe sour complexioned man then I here disallow thee to -be a competent judge. - -IZAAK WALTON. - - -The clock of St. George's had struck five. Mrs. Dove had just poured -out the Doctor's seventh cup of tea. The Doctor was sitting in his -arm-chair. Sir Thomas was purring upon his knees; and Pompey stood -looking up to his mistress, wagging his tail, sometimes whining with a -short note of impatience, and sometimes gently putting his paw against -her apron to remind her that he wished for another bit of bread and -butter. Barnaby was gone to the farm: and Nobs was in the stable. - - - - -CHAPTER II. P. I. - -WHEREIN CERTAIN QUESTIONS ARE PROPOSED CONCERNING TIME, PLACE AND -PERSONS. - - _Quis? quid? ubi? quibus auxiliis? cur? quomodo? quando?_ - -TECHNICAL VERSE. - - -Thus have I begun according to the most approved forms; not like those -who begin the Trojan War from Leda's egg, or the History of Great -Britain from Adam, or the Life of General Washington from the -Discovery of the New World; but in conformity to the Horatian precept, -rushing into the middle of things. Yet the Giant Moulineau's appeal to -his friend the story-telling Ram may well be remembered here; _Belier -mon ami, si tu voulois commencer par le commencement tu me ferois -grand plaisir_. For in the few lines of the preceding chapter how much -is there that requires explanation?—Who was Nobs?—Who was Barnaby?—Who -was the Doctor?—Who was Mrs. Dove?—The place, where?—The time, -when?—The persons, who?— - - I maie not tell you all at once; - But as I maie and can, I shall - By order tellen you it all. - -So saith Chaucer; and in the same mind, _facilius discimus quæ congruo -dicuntur ordine quam quæ sparsim et confusim_, saith Erasmus. Think a -moment I beseech thee, Reader, what order is! Not the mere word which -is so often vociferated in the House of Commons or uttered by the -Speaker _ore rotundo_, when it is necessary for him to assume the tone -of Ζεὺς ὑψιβρεμέτης; but order in its essence and truth, in itself and -in its derivatives. - -Waiving the Orders in Council, and the Order of the Day, a phrase so -familiar in the disorderly days of the French National Convention, -think gentle Reader of the order of Knighthood, of holy orders, of the -orders of architecture, the Linnæan orders, the orderly Serjeant, the -ordinal numbers, the Ordinary of Newgate, the Ordinary on Sundays at 2 -o'clock in the environs of the Metropolis, the ordinary faces of those -who partake of what is ordinarily provided for them there; and under -the auspices of Government itself, and _par excellence_ the -Extraordinary Gazette. And as the value of health is never truly and -feelingly understood except in sickness, contemplate for a moment what -the want of order is. Think of disorder in things remote, and then as -it approaches thee. In the country wherein thou livest, bad; in the -town whereof thou art an inhabitant, worse; in thine own street, -worser; in thine own house, worst of all. Think of it in thy family, -in thy fortune, in thine intestines. In thy affairs, distressing; in -thy members, painful; in thy conduct, ruinous. Order is the sanity of -the mind, the health of the body, the peace of the city, the security -of the state. As the beams to a house, as the bones to the microcosm -of man, so is order to all things. Abstract it from a Dictionary, and -thou mayest imagine the inextricable confusion which would ensue. -Reject it from the Alphabet, and Zerah Colburne himself could not go -through the chriscross row. How then should I do without it in this -history? - -A Quaker by name Benjamin Lay (who was a little cracked in the head -though sound at heart) took one of his compositions once to Benjamin -Franklin that it might be printed and published. Franklin having -looked over the manuscript observed that it was deficient in -arrangement; it is no matter, replied the author, print any part thou -pleasest first. Many are the speeches and the sermons and the -treatises and the poems and the volumes which are like Benjamin Lay's -book; the head might serve for the tail, and the tail for the body, -and the body for the head,—either end for the middle, and the middle -for either end;—nay if you could turn them inside out like a polypus, -or a glove, they would be no worse for the operation. - -When the excellent Hooker was on his death-bed, he expressed his joy -at the prospect of entering a World of Order. - - - - -CHAPTER III. P. I. - -WHOLESOME OBSERVATIONS UPON THE VANITY OF FAME. - -Whosoever shall address himself to write of matters of instruction, or -of any other argument of importance, it behoveth that before he enter -thereinto, he should resolutely determine with himself in what order -he will handle the same; so shall he best accomplish that he hath -undertaken, and inform the understanding, and help the memory of the -Reader. - -GWILLIM'S DISPLAY OF HERALDRY. - - -Who was the Doctor? - -We will begin with the persons for sundry reasons, general and -specific. Doth not the Latin grammar teach us so to do, wherein the -personal verbs come before the impersonal, and the _Propria quæ -maribus_ precede all other nouns? Moreover by replying to this -question all needful explanation as to time and place will naturally -and of necessity follow in due sequence. - - Truly I will deliver and discourse - The sum of all.[1] - -[Footnote 1: G. PEELE.] - -Who was the Doctor? - -Can it then be necessary to ask?—Alas the vanity of human fame! Vanity -of vanities, all is Vanity! “How few,” says Bishop Jeremy Taylor, -“have heard of the name of Veneatapadino Ragium! He imagined that -there was no man in the world that knew him not: how many men can tell -me, that he was the King of Narsinga?” When I mention Arba, who but -the practised textualist can call to mind that he was “a great man -among the Anakim,” that he was the father of Anak, and that from him -Kirjath-Arba took its name? A great man among the Giants of the earth, -the founder of a city, the father of Anak!—and now there remaineth -nothing more of him or his race than the bare mention of them in one -of the verses of one of the chapters of the Book of Joshua: except for -that only record it would not now be known that Arba had ever lived, -or that Hebron was originally called after his name. _Vanitas -Vanitatum! Omnia Vanitas._ An old woman in a village in the West of -England was told one day that the King of Prussia was dead, such a -report having arrived when the great Frederic was in the noon-day of -his glory. Old Mary lifted up her great slow eyes at the news, and -fixing them in the fullness of vacancy upon her informant, replied, -“is a! is a!—The Lord ha' marcy!—Well, well! The King of Prussia! And -who's he?”—The “Who's he” of this old woman might serve as text for a -notable sermon upon ambition. “Who's he” may now be asked of men -greater as soldiers in their day than Frederic, or Wellington; greater -as discoverers than Sir Isaac, or Sir Humphrey. Who built the -Pyramids? Who ate the first Oyster? _Vanitas Vanitatum! Omnia -Vanitas._ - - Why then doth flesh, a bubble-glass of breath, - Hunt after honour and advancement vain, - And rear a trophy for devouring Death, - With so great labour and long-lasting pain, - As if his days for ever should remain? - Sith all that in this world is great or gay, - Doth as a vapour vanish and decay. - - Look back who list unto the former ages, - And call to count what is of them become; - Where be those learned wits and antique sages - Which of all wisdom knew the perfect sum? - Where those great warriors which did overcome - The world with conquest of their might and main, - And made one mear of the earth and of their reign?[2] - -[Footnote 2: SPENSER.] - -Who was the Doctor? - -Oh that thou hadst known him, Reader! Then should I have answered the -question—if orally, by an emphasis upon the article,—_the_ Doctor; or -if in written words, THE DOCTOR—thus giving the word that capital -designation to which, as the head of his profession within his own -orbit, he was so justly entitled. But I am not writing to those only -who knew him, nor merely to the inhabitants of the West Riding, nor to -the present generation alone;—No! to all Yorkshire,—all England; all -the British Empire; all the countries wherein the English tongue is, -or shall be, spoken or understood; Yea to all places, and all times to -come. _Para todos_, as saith the famous Doctor Juan Perez de Montalvan -_Natural de Madrid_, which is, being interpreted, a Spanish -Cockney—_para todos; porque es un aparato de varias materias, donde el -Filosofo, el Cortesano, el Humanista, el Poeta, el Predicador, el -Teologo, el Soldado, el Devoto, el Jurisconsulto, el Matematico, el -Medico, el Soltero, el Casado, el Religioso, el Ministro, el Plebeyo, -el Señor, el Oficial, y el Entretenido, hallaran juntamente utilidad y -gusto, erudicion y divertimiento, doctrina y desahogo, recreo y -enseñanza, moralidad y alivio, ciencia y descanso, provecho y -passatiempo, alabanzas y reprehensiones, y ultimamente exemplos y -donaires, que sin ofender las costumbres delecten el animo, y sazonen -el entendimiento_. - -Who was the Doctor? - - * * * * * - -The Doctor was Doctor Daniel Dove. - - - - -CHAPTER IV. P. I. - -BIRTH AND PARENTAGE OF DR. DOVE, WITH THE DESCRIPTION OF A YEOMAN'S -HOUSE IN THE WEST RIDING OF YORKSHIRE A HUNDRED YEARS AGO. - - _Non possidentem multa vocaveris - Recte beatum; rectius occupat - Nomen beati, qui Deorum - Muneribus sapienter uti, - Duramque callet pauperiem pati, - Pejusque letho flagitium timet._ - -HORACE, L. 4, Od. 9. - - -Daniel, the son of Daniel Dove and of Dinah his wife, was born near -Ingleton in the West Riding of Yorkshire, on Monday the twenty second -of April, old style, 1723, nine minutes and three seconds after three -in the afternoon; on which day Marriage came in and Mercury was with -the Moon; and the aspects were □ ♄ ♀: a week earlier, it would have -been a most glorious Trine of the Sun and Jupiter;—circumstances which -were all duly noted in the blank leaf of the family Bible. - -Daniel the father was one of a race of men who unhappily are now -almost extinct. He lived upon an estate of six and twenty acres which -his fathers had possessed before him, all Doves and Daniels, in -uninterrupted succession from time immemorial, farther than registers -or title deeds could ascend. The little church called Chapel le Dale, -stands about a bow shot from the family house. There they had all been -carried to the font; there they had each led his bride to the altar; -and thither they had, each in his turn, been borne upon the shoulders -of their friends and neighbours. Earth to earth they had been -consigned there for so many generations, that half of the soil of the -churchyard consisted of their remains. A hermit who might wish his -grave to be as quiet as his cell, could imagine no fitter resting -place. On three sides there was an irregular low stone wall, rather to -mark the limits of the sacred ground, than to inclose it; on the -fourth it was bounded by the brook whose waters proceed by a -subterraneous channel from Wethercote cave. Two or three alders and -rowan trees hung over the brook, and shed their leaves and seeds into -the stream. Some bushy hazels grew at intervals along the lines of the -wall; and a few ash trees, as the winds had sown them. To the East and -West some fields adjoined it, in that state of half cultivation which -gives a human character to solitude: to the South, on the other side -the brook, the common with its limestone rocks peering every where -above ground, extended to the foot of Ingleborough. A craggy hill, -feathered with birch, sheltered it from the North. - -The turf was as soft and fine as that of the adjoining hills; it was -seldom broken, so scanty was the population to which it was -appropriated; scarcely a thistle or a nettle deformed it, and the few -tomb-stones which had been placed there were now themselves half -buried. The sheep came over the wall when they listed, and sometimes -took shelter in the porch from the storm. Their voices, and the cry of -the kite wheeling above, were the only sounds which were heard there, -except when the single bell which hung in its niche over the entrance -tinkled for service on the Sabbath day, or with a slower tongue gave -notice that one of the children of the soil was returning to the earth -from which he sprung. - -The house of the Doves was to the East of the Church, under the same -hill, and with the same brook in front; and the intervening fields -belonged to the family. It was a low house, having before it a little -garden of that size and character which shewed that the inhabitants -could afford to bestow a thought upon something more than mere bodily -wants. You entered between two yew trees clipt to the fashion of two -pawns. There were hollyhocks and sunflowers displaying themselves -above the wall; roses and sweet peas under the windows, and the -everlasting pea climbing the porch. Over the door was a stone with -these letters. - - D - D + M - A.D - 1608. - -The A. was in the Saxon character. The rest of the garden lay behind -the house, partly on the slope of the hill. It had a hedge of -gooseberry-bushes, a few apple-trees, pot-herbs in abundance, onions, -cabbages, turnips and carrots; potatoes had hardly yet found their way -into these remote parts: and in a sheltered spot under the crag, open -to the south, were six bee-hives which made the family perfectly -independent of West India produce. Tea was in those days as little -known as potatoes, and for all other things honey supplied the place -of sugar. - -The house consisted of seven rooms, the dairy and cellar included -which were both upon the ground floor. As you entered the kitchen -there was on the right one of those open chimneys which afford more -comfort in a winter's evening than the finest register stove; in front -of the chimney stood a wooden bee-hive chair, and on each side was a -long oak seat with a back to it, the seats serving as chests in which -the oaten bread was kept. They were of the darkest brown, and well -polished by constant use. On the back of each were the same initials -as those over the door, with the date 1610. The great oak table, and -the chest in the best kitchen which held the house-linen, bore the -same date. The chimney was well hung with bacon, the rack which -covered half the ceiling bore equal marks of plenty; mutton hams were -suspended from other parts of the ceiling; and there was an odour of -cheese from the adjoining dairy, which the turf fire, tho' perpetual -as that of the Magi, or of the Vestal Virgins, did not overpower. A -few pewter dishes were ranged above the trenchers, opposite the door -on a conspicuous shelf. The other treasures of the family were in an -open triangular cupboard, fixed in one of the corners of the best -kitchen, half way from the floor, and touching the ceiling. They -consisted of a silver saucepan, a silver goblet, and four apostle -spoons. Here also King Charles's Golden Rules were pasted against the -wall, and a large print of Daniel in the Lion's Den. The Lions were -bedaubed with yellow, and the Prophet was bedaubed with blue, with a -red patch upon each of his cheeks: if he had been like his picture he -might have frightened the Lions; but happily there were no “judges” in -the family, and it had been bought for its name's sake. The other -print which ornamented the room had been purchased from a like -feeling, though the cause was not so immediately apparent. It -represented a Ship in full sail, with Joseph and the Virgin Mary, and -the Infant on board, and a Dove flying behind as if to fill the sails -with the motion of its wings. Six black chairs were ranged along the -wall, where they were seldom disturbed from their array. They had been -purchased by Daniel the grandfather upon his marriage, and were the -most costly purchase that had ever been made in the family; for the -goblet was a legacy. The backs were higher than the head of the -tallest man when seated; the seats flat and shallow, set in a round -frame, unaccommodating in their material, more unaccommodating in -shape; the backs also were of wood rising straight up, and ornamented -with balls and lozenges and embossments; and the legs and cross bars -were adorned in the same taste. Over the chimney were two Peacocks' -feathers, some of the dry silky pods of the honesty flower, and one of -those large “sinuous shells” so finely thus described by Landor; - - Of pearly hue - Within, and they that lustre have imbibed - In the sun's palace porch; where, when unyoked, - His chariot wheel stands midway in the wave, - Shake one, and it awakens; then apply - Its polished lips to your attentive ear, - And it remembers its august abodes, - And murmurs as the ocean murmurs there. - -There was also a head of Indian corn there, and a back scratcher, of -which the hand was ivory and the handle black. This had been a present -of Daniel the grandfather to his wife. The three apartments above -served equally for store-rooms and bed-chambers. William Dove the -brother slept in one, and Agatha the maid, or Haggy as she was called, -in another. - - - - -CHAPTER V. P. I. - -EXTENSION OF THE SCIENCE OF PHYSIOGNOMY, WITH SOME REMARKS UPON THE -PRACTICAL USES OF CRANIOLOGY. - -_Hanc ergo scientiam blande excipiamus, hilariterque amplectamur, ut -vere nostram et de nobismet ipsis tractantem; quam qui non amat, quam -qui non amplectitur, nec philosophiam amat, neque suæ vitæ discrimina -curat._ - -BAPTISTA PORTA. - - -They who know that the word physiognomy is not derived from phiz, and -infer from that knowledge that the science is not confined to the -visage alone, have extended it to handwritings also, and hence it has -become fashionable in this age of collectors to collect the autographs -of remarkable persons. But now that Mr. Rapier has arisen, “the -Reformer of illegible hands,” he and his rival Mr. Carstairs teach all -their pupils to write alike. The countenance however has fairer play -in our days than it had in old times, for the long heads of the -sixteenth century were made by the nurses, not by nature. Elongating -the nose, flattening the temples, and raising the forehead are no -longer performed by manual force, and the face undergoes now no other -artificial modelling than such as may be impressed upon it by the aid -of the looking-glass. So far physiognomy becomes less difficult, the -data upon which it has to proceed, not having been falsified _ab -initio_; but there arises a question in what state ought they to be -examined? Dr. Gall is for shaving the head, and overhauling it as a -Turk does a Circassian upon sale, that he may discover upon the -outside of the skull the organs of fighting, murder, cunning, and -thieving (near neighbours in his _mappa cerebri_,) of comparing -colours, of music, of sexual instinct, of philosophical judgement &c. -&c. all which, with all other qualities, have their latitudes and -longitudes in the brain, and are conspicuous upon the outward skull, -according to the degree in which they influence the character of the -individual. - -It must be admitted that if this learned German's theory of craniology -be well founded, the Gods have devised a much surer, safer and more -convenient means for discovering the real characters of the Lords and -Ladies of the creation, than what Momus proposed, when he advised that -a window should be placed in the breast. For if his advice had been -followed, and there had actually been a window in the sternum,—it is I -think beyond all doubt that a window-shutter would soon have been -found indispensably necessary in cold climates, more especially in -England where pulmonary complaints are so frequent; and, secondly, the -wind would not be more injurious to the lungs in high latitudes, than -the sun would be to the liver in torrid regions; indeed every where -during summer it would be impossible to exist without a green curtain, -or Venetian blinds to the window; and after all, take what precautions -we might, the world would be ten times more bilious than it is. -Another great physical inconvenience would also have arisen; for if -men could peep into their insides at any time, and see the motions and -the fermentations which are continually going on, and the rise and -progress of every malady distinctly marked in the changes it produced, -so many nervous diseases would be brought on by frequent inspection, -and so many derangements from attempting to regulate the machine, that -the only way to prevent it from making a full stop would be to put a -lock upon the shutter, and deliver the key to the Physician. - -But upon Dr. Gall's theory how many and what obvious advantages -result! Nor are they merely confined to the purposes of speculative -physiognomy; the uses of his theory as applied to practice offer to us -hopes scarcely less delightful than those which seemed to dawn upon -mankind with the discovery of the gasses, and with the commencement of -the French Revolution, and in these later days with the progress of -the Bible Society. In courts of Justice for instance how beautifully -would this new science supply any little deficiency of evidence upon -trial! If a man were arraigned for murder, and the case were doubtful, -but he were found to have a decided organ for the crime, it would be -of little matter whether he had committed the specific fact in the -indictment, or not; for hanging if not applicable as punishment, would -be proper for prevention. Think also in State Trials what infinite -advantages an Attorney General might derive from the opinion of a -Regius Professor of Craniology! Even these are but partial benefits. -Our Generals, Ministers, and Diplomatists would then unerringly be -chosen by the outside of the head, though a criterion might still be -wanted to ascertain when it was too thick and when too thin. But the -greatest advantages are those which this new system would afford to -education; for by the joint efforts of Dr. Gall and Mr. Edgeworth we -should be able to breed up men according to any pattern which Parents -or Guardians might think proper to bespeak. The Doctor would design -the mould, and Mr. Edgeworth by his skill in mechanics devise with -characteristic ingenuity the best means of making and applying it. As -soon as the child was born the professional cap, medical, military, -theological, commercial or legal, would be put on, and thus he would -be perfectly prepared for Mr. Edgeworth's admirable system of -professional education. I will pursue this subject no farther than -just to hint that the materials of the mould may operate -sympathetically, and therefore that for a lawyer in _rus_ the cap -should be made of brass, for a divine of lead, for a politician of -base-metal, for a soldier of steel, and for a sailor of heart of -English oak. - -Dr. Gall would doubtless require the naked head to be submitted to him -for judgement. Contrariwise I opine,—and all the Ladies will agree -with me in this opinion,—that the head ought neither to be stript, nor -even examined in undress, but that it should be taken with all its -accompaniments, when the owner has made the best of it, the -accompaniments being not unfrequently more indicative than the -features themselves. Long ago the question whether a man is most like -himself drest or undrest, was propounded to the British Apollo; and it -was answered by the Oracle that a man of God Almighty's making is most -like himself when undrest; but a man of a tailor's, periwig-maker's, -and sempstress's making, when drest. The Oracle answered rightly; for -no man can select his own eyes, nose, or mouth,—but his wig and his -whiskers are of his own chusing. And to use an illustrious instance, -how much of character is there in that awful wig which alway in its -box accompanies Dr. Parr upon his visits of ceremony, that it may be -put on in the hall, with all its feathery honours thick upon it, not a -curl deranged, a hair flattened, or a particle of powder wasted on the -way! - -But if we would form a judgement of the interior of that portentous -head which is thus formidably obumbrated, how could it be done so well -as by beholding the Doctor among his books, and there seeing the food -upon which his terrific intellect is fed. There we should see the -accents, quantities, dialects, digammas, and other such small gear as -in these days constitute the complete armour of a perfect scholar; and -by thus discovering what goes into the head we might form a fair -estimate of what was likely to come out of it. This is a truth which, -with many others of equal importance, will be beautifully elucidated -in this nonpareil history. For Daniel Dove the Father had a collection -of books; they were not so numerous as those of his contemporary -Harley, famous for his library, and infamous for the Peace of Utrecht; -but he was perfectly conversant with all their contents, which is more -than could be said of the Earl of Oxford. - -Reader whether thou art man, woman or child, thou art doubtless -acquainted with the doctrine of association as inculcated by the great -Mr. Locke and his disciples. But never hast thou seen that doctrine so -richly and so entirely exemplified as in this great history, the -association of ideas being, in oriental phrase, the silken thread upon -which its pearls are strung. And never wilt thou see it so clearly and -delightfully illustrated, not even if the ingenious Mr. John Jones -should one day give to the world the whole twelve volumes in which he -has proved the authenticity of the Gospel History, by bringing the -narratives of the Four Evangelists to the test of Mr. Locke's -metaphysics. - -“Desultoriness,” says Mr. Danby, “may often be the mark of a full -head; connection must proceed from a thoughtful one.” - - - - -CHAPTER VI. P. I. - -A COLLECTION OF BOOKS NONE OF WHICH ARE INCLUDED AMONGST THE -PUBLICATIONS OF ANY SOCIETY FOR THE PROMOTION OF KNOWLEDGE RELIGIOUS -OR PROFANE.—HAPPINESS IN HUMBLE LIFE. - - _Felix ille animi, divisque simillimus ipsis, - Quem non mordaci resplendens gloria fuco - Solicitat, non fastosi mala gaudia luxus, - Sed tacitos sinit ire dies, et paupere cultu - Exigit innocuæ tranquilla silentia vitæ._ - -POLITIAN. - - -Happily for Daniel, he lived before the age of Magazines, Reviews, -Cyclopædias, Elegant Extracts and Literary Newspapers, so that he -gathered the fruit of knowledge for himself, instead of receiving it -from the dirty fingers of a retail vender. His books were few in -number, but they were all weighty either in matter or in size. They -consisted of the Morte d'Arthur in the fine black-letter edition of -Copland; Plutarch's Morals and Pliny's Natural History, two goodly -folios, full as an egg of meat, and both translated by that old worthy -Philemon, who for the service which he rendered to his contemporaries -and to his countrymen deserves to be called the best of the Hollands, -without disparaging either the Lord or the Doctor of that appellation. -The whole works of Joshua Sylvester (whose name, let me tell thee -reader in passing, was accented upon the first syllable by his -contemporaries, not as now upon the second);—Jean Petit's History of -the Netherlands, translated and continued by Edward Grimeston, another -worthy of the Philemon order; Sir Kenelm Digby's Discourses; Stowe's -Chronicle; Joshua Barnes's Life of Edward III.; “Ripley Revived by -Eirenæus Philalethes, an Englishman styling himself Citizen of the -World,” with its mysterious frontispiece representing the _Domus -Naturæ_, to which, _Nil deest, nisi clavis_: the Pilgrim's Progress: -two volumes of Ozell's translation of Rabelais; Latimer's Sermons; and -the last volume of Fox's Martyrs, which latter book had been brought -him by his wife. The Pilgrim's Progress was a godmother's present to -his son: the odd volumes of Rabelais he had picked up at Kendal, at a -sale, in a lot with Ripley Revived and Plutarch's Morals: the others -he had inherited. - -Daniel had looked into all these books, read most of them, and -believed all that he read, except Rabelais, which he could not tell -what to make of. He was not however one of those persons who -complacently suppose every thing to be nonsense, which they do not -perfectly comprehend, or flatter themselves that they do. His simple -heart judged of books by what they ought to be, little knowing what -they are. It never occurred to him that any thing would be printed -which was not worth printing, any thing which did not convey either -reasonable delight or useful instruction: and he was no more disposed -to doubt the truth of what he read, than to question the veracity of -his neighbour, or any one who had no interest in deceiving him. A book -carried with it to him authority in its very aspect. The Morte -d'Arthur therefore he received for authentic history, just as he did -the painful chronicle of honest John Stowe, and the Barnesian labours -of Joshua the self-satisfied: there was nothing in it indeed which -stirred his English blood like the battles of Cressy and Poictiers and -Najara; yet on the whole he preferred it to Barnes's story, believed -in Sir Tor, Sir Tristram, Sir Lancelot and Sir Lamorack as entirely as -in Sir John Chandos, the Captal de Buche and the Black Prince, and -liked them better. - -Latimer and Du Bartas he used sometimes to read aloud on Sundays; and -if the departed take cognizance of what passes on earth, and poets -derive any satisfaction from that posthumous applause which is -generally the only reward of those who deserve it, Sylvester might -have found some compensation for the undeserved neglect into which his -works had sunk, by the full and devout delight which his rattling -rhymes and quaint collocations afforded to this reader. The -silver-tongued Sylvester however was reserved for a Sabbath book; as a -week-day author Daniel preferred Pliny, for the same reason that bread -and cheese, or a rasher of hung mutton contented his palate better -than a syllabub. He frequently regretted that so knowing a writer had -never seen or heard of Wethercote and Yordas caves; the ebbing and -flowing spring at Giggleswick, Malham Cove, and Gordale Scar, that he -might have described them among the wonders of the world. _Omne -ignotum pro magnifico_ is a maxim which will not in all cases hold -good. There are things which we do not undervalue because we are -familiar with them, but which are admired the more the more thoroughly -they are known and understood; it is thus with the grand objects of -nature and the finest works of art,—with whatsoever is truly great and -excellent. Daniel was not deficient in imagination; but no description -of places which he had never seen, however exaggerated (as such things -always are) impressed him so strongly as these objects in his own -neighbourhood, which he had known from childhood. Three or four times -in his life it had happened that strangers with a curiosity as -uncommon in that age as it is general in this, came from afar to visit -these wonders of the West Riding, and Daniel accompanied them with a -delight such as he never experienced on any other occasion. - -But the Author in whom he delighted most was Plutarch, of whose works -he was lucky enough to possess the worthier half: if the other had -perished Plutarch would not have been a popular writer, but he would -have held a higher place in the estimation of the judicious. Daniel -could have posed a candidate for university honors, and perhaps the -examiner too, with some of the odd learning which he had stored up in -his memory from these great repositories of ancient knowledge. -Refusing all reward for such services, the strangers to whom he -officiated as a guide, though they perceived that he was an -extraordinary person, were little aware how much information he had -acquired, and of how strange a kind. His talk with them did not go -beyond the subjects which the scenes they came to visit naturally -suggested, and they wondered more at the questions he asked, than at -any thing which he advanced himself. For his disposition was naturally -shy, and that which had been bashfulness in youth assumed the -appearance of reserve as he advanced in life; for having none to -communicate with upon his favorite studies he lived in an intellectual -world of his own, a mental solitude as complete as that of Alexander -Selkirk or Robinson Crusoe. Even to the Curate his conversation, if he -had touched upon his books, would have been heathen Greek; and to -speak the truth plainly, without knowing a letter of that language, he -knew more about the Greeks, than nine-tenths of the clergy at that -time, including all the dissenters, and than nine-tenths of the -schoolmasters also. - -Our good Daniel had none of that confidence which so usually and so -unpleasantly characterizes self-taught men. In fact he was by no means -aware of the extent of his acquirements, all that he knew in this kind -having been acquired for amusement not for use. He had never attempted -to teach himself any thing. These books had lain in his way in -boyhood, or fallen in it afterwards, and the perusal of them intently -as it was followed, was always accounted by him to be nothing more -than recreation. None of his daily business had ever been neglected -for it; he cultivated his fields and his garden, repaired his walls, -looked to the stable, tended his cows and salved his sheep, as -diligently and as contentedly as if he had possessed neither capacity -nor inclination for any higher employments. Yet Daniel was one of -those men, who, if disposition and aptitude were not overruled by -circumstances, would have grown pale with study, instead of being -bronzed and hardened by sun and wind and rain. There were in him -undeveloped talents which might have raised him to distinction as an -antiquary, a virtuoso of the Royal Society, a poet, or a theologian, -to which ever course the bias in his ball of fortune had inclined. But -he had not a particle of envy in his composition. He thought indeed -that if he had had grammar learning in his youth like the curate, he -would have made more use of it; but there was nothing either of the -sourness or bitterness (call it which you please) of repining in this -natural reflection. - -Never indeed was any man more contented with doing his duty in that -state of life to which it had pleased God to call him. And well he -might be so, for no man ever passed through the world with less to -disquiet or to sour him. Bred up in habits which secured the -continuance of that humble but sure independance to which he was born, -he had never known what it was to be anxious for the future. At the -age of twenty-five he had brought home a wife, the daughter of a -little landholder like himself, with fifteen pounds for her portion: -and the true-love of his youth proved to him a faithful helpmate in -those years when the dream of life is over, and we live in its -realities. If at any time there had been some alloy in his happiness -it was when there appeared reason to suppose that in him his family -would be extinct; for though no man knows what parental feelings are -till he has experienced them, and Daniel therefore knew not the whole -value of that which he had never enjoyed, the desire of progeny is -natural to the heart of man; and though Daniel had neither large -estates, nor an illustrious name to transmit, it was an unwelcome -thought that the little portion of the earth which had belonged to his -fathers time out of mind, should pass into the possession of some -stranger, who would tread on their graves and his own without any -regard to the dust that lay beneath. That uneasy apprehension was -removed after he had been married fifteen years, when to the great joy -of both parents, because they had long ceased to entertain any hope of -such an event, their wishes were fulfilled in the birth of a son. This -their only child was healthy, apt and docile, to all appearance as -happily disposed in mind and body as a father's heart could wish. If -they had fine weather for winning their hay or shearing their corn, -they thanked God for it; if the season proved unfavourable, the labour -was only a little the more and the crop a little the worse. Their -stations secured them from want, and they had no wish beyond it. What -more had Daniel to desire? - -The following passage in the divine Du Bartas he used to read with -peculiar satisfaction, applying it to himself:— - - O thrice, thrice happy he, who shuns the cares - Of city troubles, and of state-affairs; - And, serving Ceres, tills with his own team, - His own _free land_, left by his friends to him! - - Never pale Envy's poisony heads do hiss - To gnaw his heart: nor Vulture Avarice: - His fields' bounds, bound his thoughts: he never sups, - For nectar, poison mixed in silver cups; - Neither in golden platters doth he lick - For sweet ambrosia deadly arsenic: - His hand's his bowl (better than plate or glass) - The silver brook his sweetest hippocrass: - Milk cheese and fruit, (fruits of his own endeavour) - Drest without dressing, hath he ready ever. - - False counsellors (concealers of the law) - Turncoat attorneys that with both hands draw; - Sly pettifoggers, wranglers at the bar, - Proud purse-leeches, harpies of Westminster, - With feigned-chiding, and foul jarring noise, - Break not his brain, nor interrupt his joys; - But cheerful birds chirping him sweet good-morrows - With nature's music do beguile his sorrows; - Teaching the fragrant forests day by day - The diapason of their heavenly lay. - - His wandering vessel, reeling to and fro - On th' ireful ocean (as the winds do blow) - With sudden tempest is not overwhurled, - To seek his sad death in another world: - But leading all his life at home in peace, - Always in sight of his own smoke, no seas - No other seas he knows, no other torrent, - Than that which waters with its silver current - His native meadows: and that very earth - Shall give him burial which first gave him birth. - - To summon timely sleep, he doth not need - Æthiop's cold rush, nor drowsy poppy-seed; - Nor keep in consort (as Mecænas did) - Luxurious Villains—(Viols I should have said); - But on green carpets thrum'd with mossy bever, - Fringing the round skirts of his winding river, - The streams mild murmur, as it gently gushes, - His healthy limbs in quiet slumber hushes. - - Drum fife and trumpet, with their loud alarms, - Make him not start out of his sleep, to arms; - Nor dear respect of some great General, - Him from his bed unto the block doth call. - The crested cock sings “_Hunt-is-up_” to him, - Limits his rest, and makes him stir betime, - To walk the mountains and the flow'ry meads - Impearl'd with tears which great Aurora sheds. - - Never gross air poisoned in stinking streets, - To choke his spirit, his tender nostril meets; - But th'open sky where at full breath he lives, - Still keeps him sound, and still new stomach gives. - And Death, dread Serjeant of the Eternal Judge, - Comes very late to his sole-seated lodge. - - - - -CHAPTER VII. P. I. - -RUSTIC PHILOSOPHY. AN EXPERIMENT UPON MOONSHINE. - - _Quien comienza en juventud - A bien obrar, - Señal es de no errar - En senetud._ - -PROVERBIOS DEL MARQUES DE SANTILLA. - - -It is not however for man to rest in absolute contentment. He is born -to hopes and aspirations as the sparks fly upward, unless he has -brutified his nature and quenched the spirit of immortality which is -his portion. Having nothing to desire for himself, Daniel's ambition -had taken a natural direction and fixed upon his son. He was resolved -that the boy should be made a scholar; not with the prospect of -advancing him in the world, but in the hope that he might become a -philosopher, and take as much delight in the books which he would -inherit as his father had done before him. Riches and rank and power -appeared in his judgement to be nothing when compared to philosophy; -and herein he was as true a philosopher as if he had studied in the -Porch, or walked the groves of Academus. - -It was not however for this,—for he was as little given to talk of his -opinions as to display his reading,—but for his retired habits, and -general character, and some odd practices into which his books had led -him, that he was commonly called Flossofer Daniel by his neighbours. -The appellation was not affixed in derision, but respectfully and as -his due; for he bore his faculties too meekly ever to excite an -envious or an ill-natured feeling in any one. Rural Flossofers were -not uncommon in those days, though in the progress of society they -have disappeared like Crokers, Bowyers, Lorimers, Armourers, Running -Footmen and other descriptions of men whose occupations are gone by. -But they were of a different order from our Daniel. They were usually -Philomaths, Students in Astrology, or the Cœlestial Science, and not -unfrequently Empirics or downright Quacks. Between twenty and thirty -almanacs used to be published every year by men of this description, -some of them versed enough in mathematics to have done honor to -Cambridge, had the fates allowed; and others such proficients in -roguery, that they would have done equal honor to the whipping-post. - -A man of a different stamp from either came in declining life to -settle at Ingleton in the humble capacity of schoolmaster, a little -before young Daniel was capable of more instruction than could be -given him at home. Richard Guy was his name; he is the person to whom -the lovers of old rhyme are indebted for the preservation of the old -poem of Flodden Field, which he transcribed from an ancient -manuscript, and which was printed from his transcript by Thomas Gent -of York. In his way through the world, which had not been along the -King's high Dunstable road, Guy had picked up a competent share of -Latin, a little Greek, some practical knowledge of physic, and more of -its theory; astrology enough to cast a nativity, and more acquaintance -with alchemy than has often been possessed by one who never burnt his -fingers in its processes. These acquirements were grafted on a -disposition as obliging as it was easy; and he was beholden to nature -for an understanding so clear and quick that it might have raised him -to some distinction in the world if he had not been under the -influence of an imagination at once lively and credulous. Five and -fifty years had taught him none of the world's wisdom; they had -sobered his mind without maturing it; but he had a wise heart, and the -wisdom of the heart is worth all other wisdom. - -Daniel was too far advanced in life to fall in friendship; he felt a -certain degree of attractiveness in this person's company; there was -however so much of what may better be called reticence than reserve in -his own quiet habitual manners, that it would have been long before -their acquaintance ripened into any thing like intimacy, if an -accidental circumstance had not brought out the latent sympathy which -on both sides had till then rather been apprehended than understood. -They were walking together one day when young Daniel, who was then in -his sixth year, looking up in his father's face proposed this -question: “will it be any harm, Father, if I steal five beans when -next I go into Jonathan Dowthwaites, if I can do it without any one's -seeing me?” - -“And what wouldst thou steal beans for?” was the reply, “when any body -would give them to thee, and when thou knowest there are plenty at -home?” - -“But it wo'nt do to have them given, Father,” the boy replied. “They -are to charm away my warts. Uncle William says I must steal five -beans, a bean for every wart, and tie them carefully up in paper, and -carry them to a place where two roads cross, and then drop them, and -walk away without ever once looking behind me. And then the warts will -go away from me, and come upon the hands of the person that picks up -the beans.” - -“Nay boy,” the Father made answer; “that charm was never taught by a -white witch! If thy warts are a trouble to thee, they would be a -trouble to any one else; and to get rid of an evil from ourselves -Daniel, by bringing it upon another, is against our duty to our -neighbour. Have nothing to do with a charm like that!” - -“May I steal a piece of raw beef then,” rejoined the boy, “and rub the -warts with it and bury it? For Uncle says that will do, and as the -beef rots, so the warts will waste away.” - -“Daniel,” said the Father, “those can be no lawful charms that begin -with stealing; I could tell thee how to cure thy warts in a better -manner. There is an infallible way, which is by washing the hands in -moonshine, but then the moonshine must be caught in a bright silver -basin. You wash and wash in the basin, and a cold moisture will be -felt upon the hands, proceeding from the cold and moist rays of the -moon.” - -“But what shall we do for a silver basin,” said little Daniel? - -The Father answered, “a pewter dish might be tried if it were made -very bright; but it is not deep enough. The brass kettle perhaps might -do better.” - -“Nay,” said Guy, who had now begun to attend with some interest, “the -shape of a kettle is not suitable. It should be a concave vessel, so -as to concentrate the rays. Joshua Wilson I dare say would lend his -brass basin, which he can very well spare at the hour you want it, -because nobody comes to be shaved by moonlight. The moon rises early -enough to serve at this time. If you come in this evening at six -o'clock I will speak to Joshua in the mean time, and have the basin as -bright and shining as a good scouring can make it. The experiment is -curious and I should like to see it tried. Where Daniel didst thou -learn it?” “I read it,” replied Daniel, “in Sir Kenelm Digby's -Discourses, and he says it never fails.” - -Accordingly the parties met at the appointed hour. Mambrino's helmet -when new from the armourers, or when furbished for a tournament, was -not brighter than Guy had rendered the inside of the barber's basin. -Schoolmaster, Father and son retired to a place out of observation, by -the side of the river, a wild stream tumbling among the huge stones -which it had brought down from the hills. On one of these stones sate -Daniel the elder, holding the basin in such an inclination toward the -moon that there should be no shadow in it; Guy directed the boy where -to place himself so as not to intercept the light, and stood looking -complacently on, while young Daniel revolved his hands one in another -within the empty basin, as if washing them. “I feel them cold and -clammy Father!” said the boy. (It was the beginning of November) -“Aye,” replied the father, “that's the cold moisture of the moon!” -“Aye!” echoed the schoolmaster, and nodded his head in confirmation. - -The operation was repeated on the two following nights; and Daniel -would have kept up his son two hours later than his regular time of -rest to continue it on the third if the evening had not set in with -clouds and rain. In spite of the patient's belief that the warts would -waste away and were wasting, (for Prince Hohenlohe could not require -more entire faith than was given on this occasion) no alteration could -be perceived in them at a fortnight's end. Daniel thought the -experiment had failed because it had not been repeated sufficiently -often, nor perhaps continued long enough. But the Schoolmaster was of -opinion that the cause of failure was in the basin: for that silver -being the lunar metal would by affinity assist the influential virtues -of the moonlight, which finding no such affinity in a mixed metal of -baser compounds, might contrariwise have its potential qualities -weakened, or even destroyed when received in a brasen vessel, and -reflected from it. Flossofer Daniel assented to this theory. -Nevertheless as the child got rid of his troublesome excrescences in -the course of three or four months, all parties disregarding the lapse -of time at first, and afterwards fairly forgetting it, agreed that the -remedy had been effectual, and Sir Kenelm if he had been living, might -have procured the solemn attestation of men more veracious than -himself that moonshine was an infallible cure for warts. - - - - -CHAPTER VIII. P. I. - -A KIND SCHOOLMASTER AND A HAPPY SCHOOL BOY. - -Though happily thou wilt say that wands be to be wrought when they are -green, lest they rather break than bend when they be dry, yet know -also that he that bendeth a twig because he would see if it would bow -by strength may chance to have a crooked tree when he would have a -straight. - -EUPHUES. - - -From this time the two Flossofers were friends. Daniel seldom went to -Ingleton without looking in upon Guy, if it were between school hours. -Guy on his part would walk as far with him on the way back, as the -tether of his own time allowed, and frequently on Saturdays and -Sundays he strolled out and took a seat by Daniel's fire side. Even -the wearying occupation of hearing one generation of urchins after -another repeat _a-b-ab_, hammering the first rules of arithmetic into -leaden heads, and pacing like a horse in a mill the same dull dragging -round day after day, had neither diminished Guy's good-nature, nor -lessened his love for children. He had from the first conceived a -liking for young Daniel, both because of the right principle which was -evinced by the manner in which he proposed the question concerning -stealing the beans, and of the profound gravity (worthy of a -Flossofer's son) with which he behaved in the affair of the moonshine. -All that he saw and heard of him tended to confirm this favourable -prepossession; and the boy, who had been taught to read in the Bible -and in Stowe's Chronicle, was committed to his tuition at seven years -of age. - -Five days in the week (for in the North of England Saturday as well as -Sunday is a Sabbath to the Schoolmaster) did young Daniel after -supping his porringer of oat-meal pottage, set off to school, with a -little basket containing his dinner in his hand. This provision -usually consisted of oat-cake and cheese, the latter in goodly -proportion, but of the most frugal quality, whatever cream the milk -afforded having been consigned to the butter tub. Sometimes it was a -piece of cold bacon or of cold pork; and in winter there was the -luxury of a shred pie, which is a coarse north country edition of the -pie abhorred by puritans. The distance was in those days called two -miles; but miles of such long measure that they were for him a good -hour's walk at a cheerful pace. He never loitered on the way, being at -all times brisk in his movements, and going to school with a spirit as -light as when he returned from it, like one whose blessed lot it was -never to have experienced, and therefore never to stand in fear of -severity or unkindness. For he was not more a favorite with Guy for -his docility, and regularity and diligence, than he was with his -schoolfellows for his thorough good nature and a certain original -oddity of humour. - -There are some boys who take as much pleasure in exercising their -intellectual faculties, as others do when putting forth the power of -arms and legs in boisterous exertion. Young Daniel was from his -childhood fond of books. William Dove used to say he was a chip of the -old block; and this hereditary disposition was regarded with much -satisfaction by both parents, Dinah having no higher ambition nor -better wish for her son, than that he might prove like his father in -all things. This being the bent of his nature, the boy having a kind -master as well as a happy home, never tasted of what old Lily calls -(and well might call) the wearisome bitterness of the scholar's -learning. He was never subject to the brutal discipline of the Udals -and Busbys and Bowyers, and Parrs and other less notorious tyrants who -have trodden in their steps; nor was any of that inhuman injustice -ever exercised upon him to break his spirit, for which it is to be -hoped Dean Colet has paid in Purgatory;—to be hoped, I say, because if -there be no Purgatory, the Dean may have gone farther and fared worse. -Being the only _Latiner_ in the school his lessons were heard with -more interest and less formality. Guy observed his progress with -almost as much delight and as much hope as Daniel himself. A -schoolmaster who likes his vocation feels toward the boys who deserve -his favour something like a thrifty and thriving father toward the -children for whom he is scraping together wealth; he is contented that -his humble and patient industry should produce fruit not for himself, -but for them, and looks with pride to a result in which it is -impossible for him to partake, and which in all likelihood he may -never live to see. Even some of the old Phlebotomists have had this -feeling to redeem them. - - - - -“Sir,” says the Compositor to the Corrector of the Press, “there is no -heading in the Copy for this Chapter. What must I do?” - -“Leave a space for it,” the Corrector replies. “It is a strange sort -of book; but I dare say the Author has a reason for every thing that -he says or does, and most likely you will find out his meaning as you -set up.” - -Right Mr. Corrector! you are a judicious person, free from the common -vice of finding fault with what you do not understand. My meaning will -be explained presently. And having thus prologized, we will draw a -line if you please, and begin. - - * * * * * - -Ten measures of garrulity, says the Talmud, were sent down upon the -earth, and the women took nine. - -I have known in my time eight terrific talkers; and five of them were -of the masculine gender. - -But supposing that the Rabbis were right in allotting to the women a -ninefold proportion of talkativeness, I confess that I have inherited -my mother's share. - -I am liberal of my inheritance, and the Public shall have the full -benefit of it. - -And here if my gentle Public will consider to what profitable uses -this gift might have been applied, the disinterestedness of my -disposition in having thus benevolently dedicated it to their service, -will doubtless be appreciated as it deserves by their discrimination -and generosity. Had I carried it to the pulpit, think now how I might -have filled the seats, and raised the prices of a private chapel! Had -I taken it to the bar, think how I could have mystified a judge, and -bamboozled a jury! Had I displayed it in the senate, think how I could -have talked against time, for the purpose of delaying a division, till -the expected numbers could be brought together; or how efficient a -part I could have borne in the patriotic design of impeding the -business of a session, prolonging and multiplying the debates, and -worrying a minister out of his senses and his life. - -_Diis aliter visum_.—I am what I was to be,—what it is best for myself -that I should be,—and for you, my Public, also. The rough-hewn plans -of my destination have been better shaped for me by Providence than I -could have shaped them for myself. - -But to the purpose of this chapter, which is as headless as the -Whigs—Observe my Public, I have not said as brainless...If it were, -the book would be worth no more than a new Tragedy of Lord Byron's; or -an old number of Mr. Jeffrey's Review, when its prophecies have proved -false, its blunders have been exposed, and its slander stinks. - -Every thing here shall be in order. The digressions into which this -gift of discourse may lead me must not interrupt the arrangement of -our History. Never shall it be said of the Unknown that “he draweth -out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his -argument.” We have a journey to perform from Dan to Beersheba, and we -must halt occasionally by the way. Matter will arise contingent to the -story, correlative to it, or excrescent from it; not necessary to its -progress, and yet indispensable for your delight, my gentle Public, -and for mine own ease. My Public would not have me stifle the -_afflatus_ when I am labouring with it, and in the condition of Elihu -as described by himself in the 18th and 19th verses of the xxxii. -chapter of the book of Job. - -_Quemadmodum cælator oculos diu intentos ac fatigatos remittit atque -avocat, et, ut dici solet, pascit; sic nos animum aliquando debemus -relaxare et quibusdam oblectamentis reficere. Sed ipsa oblectamenta -opera sint; ex his quoque si observaveris, sumes quod possit fieri -salutare._[1] - -[Footnote 1: SENECA, Epist. 58.] - -But that the beautiful structure of this history may in no wise be -deranged, such matter shall be distributed into distinct chapters in -the way of intercalation; a device of which as it respects the year, -Adam is believed to have been the inventor; but according to the -Author of the book of Jalkut, it was only transmitted by him to his -descendants, being one of the things which he received by revelation. - -How then shall these Chapters be annominated? Intercalary they shall -not. That word will send some of my readers to Johnson's Dictionary -for its meaning; and others to Sheridan, or Walker for its -pronunciation. Besides, I have a dislike to all mongrel words, and an -especial dislike for strange compounds into which a preposition -enters. I owe them a grudge. They make one of the main difficulties in -Greek and German. - -From our own Calenders we cannot borrow an appellation. In the -Republican one of our neighbours, when the revolutionary fever was at -its height, the supplemental days were called _Sansculottedes_. The -Spaniards would call them _Dias Descamisados_. The holders of liberal -opinions in England would term them Radical Days. A hint might be -taken hence, and we might name them radical chapters, as having the -root of the matter in them;—Or _ramal_, if there were such a word, -upon the analogy of the Branch Bible societies. Or _ramage_ as the -king of Cockayne hath his Foliage. But they would not be truly and -philosophically designated by these names. They are not branches from -the tree of this history, neither are they its leaves; but rather -choice garlands suspended there to adorn it on festival days. They may -be likened to the waste weirs of a canal, or the safety valves of a -steam engine; (my gentle Public would not have me stifle the -_afflatus_!)—interludes;—symphonies between the acts;—voluntaries -during the service;—resting places on the ascent of a church tower; -angular recesses of an old bridge, into which foot passengers may -retire from carriages or horsemen;—houses-of-call upon the road; seats -by the way side, such as those which were provided by the Man of Ross, -or the not less meritorious Woman of Chippenham, Maud Heath of Langley -Burrel,—Hospices on the passages of the Alps,—Capes of Good Hope, or -Isles of St. Helena,—yea Islands of Tinian or Juan Fernandez, upon the -long voyage whereon we are bound. - -Leap-chapters they cannot properly be called; and if we were to call -them Ha Has! as being chapters which the Reader may leap if he likes, -the name would appear rather strained than significant, and might be -justly censured as more remarkable for affectation than for aptness. -For the same reason I reject the designation of Intermeans, though it -hath the sanction of great Ben's authority. - -Among the requisites for an accomplished writer Steele enumerates the -skill whereby common words are started into new significations. I will -not presume so far upon that talent (—modesty forbids me—) as to call -these intervening chapters either Interpellations or Interpositions, -or Interlocations, or Intervals. Take this Reader for a general rule, -that the readiest and plainest style is the most forcible (if the head -be but properly stored;) and that in all ordinary cases the word which -first presents itself is the best; even as in all matters of right and -wrong, the first feeling is that which the heart owns and the -conscience ratifies. - -But for a new occasion, a new word or a new composite must be formed. -Therefore I will strike one in the mint of analogy, in which alone the -king's English must be coined, and call them Interchapters—and thus -endeth - - -INTERCHAPTER I. - -REMARKS IN THE PRINTING OFFICE. THE AUTHOR CONFESSES A DISPOSITION TO -GARRULITY. PROPRIETY OF PROVIDING CERTAIN CHAPTERS FOR THE RECEPTION -OF HIS EXTRANEOUS DISCOURSE. CHOICE OF AN APPELLATION FOR SUCH -CHAPTERS. - - _Perque vices aliquid, quod tempora longa videri - Non sinat, in medium vacuas referamus ad aures._ - -OVID. - - - - -CHAPTER IX. P. I. - -EXCEPTIONS TO ONE OF KING SOLOMON'S RULES—A WINTER'S EVENING AT -DANIEL'S FIRE-SIDE. - -These are my thoughts; I might have spun them out into a greater -length, but I think a little plot of ground, thick sown, is better -than a great field which, for the most part of it, lies fallow. - -NORRIS. - - -“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old his feet -will not depart from it.” Generally speaking it will be found so; but -is there any other rule to which there are so many exceptions? - -Ask the serious Christian as he calls himself, or the Professor -(another and more fitting appellative which the Christian Pharisees -have chosen for themselves)—ask him whether he has found it hold good? -Whether his sons when they attained to years of discretion (which are -the most indiscreet years in the course of human life) have profited -as he expected by the long extemporaneous prayers to which they -listened night and morning, the sad sabbaths which they were compelled -to observe, and the soporific sermons which closed the domestic -religiosities of those melancholy days? Ask him if this discipline has -prevented them from running headlong into the follies and vices of the -age? from being birdlimed by dissipation? or caught in the spider's -web of sophistry and unbelief? “It is no doubt a true observation,” -says Bishop Patrick, “that the ready way to make the minds of youth -grow awry, is to lace them too hard, by denying them their just -freedom.” - -Ask the old faithful servant of Mammon, whom Mammon has rewarded to -his heart's desire, and in whom the acquisition of riches has only -encreased his eagerness for acquiring more—ask him whether he has -succeeded in training up his heir to the same service? He will tell -you that the young man is to be found upon race-grounds, and in -gaming-houses, that he is taking his swing of extravagance and excess, -and is on the high road to ruin. - -Ask the wealthy Quaker, the pillar of the meeting—most orthodox in -heterodoxy,—who never wore a garment of forbidden cut or colour, never -bent his body in salutation, or his knees in prayer,—never uttered the -heathen name of a day or month, nor ever addrest himself to any person -without religiously speaking illegitimate English,—ask him how it has -happened that the tailor has converted his sons? He will fold his -hands, and twirl his thumbs mournfully in silence. It has not been for -want of training them in the way wherein it was his wish that they -should go. - -You are about, Sir, to send your son to a public school; Eton or -Westminster; Winchester or Harrow; Rugby or the Charter House, no -matter which. He may come from either an accomplished scholar to the -utmost extent that school education can make him so; he may be the -better both for its discipline and its want of discipline; it may -serve him excellently well as a preparatory school for the world into -which he is about to enter. But also he may come away an empty coxcomb -or a hardened brute—a spendthrift—a profligate—a blackguard or a sot. - -To put a boy in the way he should go, is like sending out a ship well -found, well manned and stored, and with a careful captain; but there -are rocks and shallows in her course, winds and currents to be -encountered, and all the contingencies and perils of the sea. - -How often has it been seen that sons, not otherwise deficient in duty -toward their parents, have, in the most momentous concerns of life, -taken the course most opposite to that in which they were trained to -go, going wrong where the father would have directed them aright, or -taking the right path in spite of all inducements and endeavours for -leading them wrong! The son of Charles Wesley, born and bred in -methodism and bound to it by all the strongest ties of pride and -prejudice, became a papist. This indeed was but passing from one -erroneous persuasion to another, and a more inviting one. But Isaac -Casaubon also had the grief of seeing a son seduced into the Romish -superstition, and on the part of that great and excellent man, there -had been no want of discretion in training him, nor of sound learning -and sound wisdom. Archbishop Leighton, an honor to his church, his -country, and his kind, was the child of one of those firebrands who -kindled the Great Rebellion. And Franklin had a son, who -notwithstanding the example of his father (and such a father!) -continued stedfast in his duty as a soldier and a subject; he took the -unsuccessful side—but - - _nunquam successu crescat honestum._[1] - -[Footnote 1: LUCAN.] - -No such disappointment was destined to befal our Daniel. The way in -which he trained up his son was that into which the bent of the boy's -own nature would have led him; and all circumstances combined to -favour the tendency of his education. The country abounding in natural -objects of sublimity and beauty (some of these singular in their kind) -might have impressed a duller imagination than had fallen to his lot; -and that imagination had time enough for its workings during his -solitary walks to and from school morning and evening. His home was in -a lonely spot; and having neither brother nor sister, nor neighbours -near enough in any degree to supply their place as playmates, he -became his father's companion imperceptibly as he ceased to be his -fondling. And the effect was hardly less apparent in Daniel than in -the boy. He was no longer the same taciturn person as of yore; it -seemed as if his tongue had been loosened, and when the reservoirs of -his knowledge were opened they flowed freely. - -Their chimney corner on a winter's evening presented a group not -unworthy of Sir Joshua's pencil. There sate Daniel, richer in -marvellous stories than ever traveller who in the days of mendacity -returned from the East; the peat fire shining upon a countenance which -weather-hardened as it was, might have given the painter a model for a -Patriarch, so rare was the union which it exhibited of intelligence, -benevolence and simplicity. There sate the boy with open eyes and -ears, raised head, and fallen lip, in all the happiness of wonder and -implicit belief. There sate Dinah, not less proud of her husband's -learning than of the towardly disposition and promising talents of her -son,—twirling the thread at her spinning wheel, but attending to all -that past; and when there was a pause in the discourse, fetching a -deep sigh, and exclaiming “Lord bless us! what wonderful things there -are in the world!” There also sate Haggy, knitting stockings, and -sharing in the comforts and enjoyments of the family when the day's -work was done. And there sate William Dove;—but William must have a -chapter to himself. - - - - -CHAPTER X. P. I. - -ONE WHO WAS NOT SO WISE AS HIS FRIENDS COULD HAVE WISHED, AND YET -QUITE AS HAPPY AS IF HE HAD BEEN WISER. NEPOTISM NOT CONFINED TO -POPES. - - There are of madmen as there are of tame, - All humoured not alike.———Some - Apish and fantastic; - And though 'twould grieve a soul to see God's image - So blemished and defaced, yet do they act - Such antic and such pretty lunacies, - That spite of sorrow, they will make you smile. - -DEKKER. - - -William Dove was Daniel's only surviving brother, seven years his -junior. He was born with one of those heads in which the thin -partition that divides great wits from folly is wanting. Had he come -into the world a century sooner, he would have been taken _nolens -volens_ into some Baron's household, to wear motley, make sport for -the guests and domestics, and live in fear of the rod. But it was his -better fortune to live in an age when this calamity rendered him -liable to no such oppression, and to be precisely in that station -which secured for him all the enjoyments of which he was capable, and -all the care he needed. In higher life, he would probably have been -consigned to the keeping of strangers who would have taken charge of -him for pay; in a humbler degree he must have depended upon the parish -for support; or have been made an inmate of one of those moral -lazar-houses in which age and infancy, the harlot and the idiot, the -profligate and the unfortunate are herded together. - -William Dove escaped these aggravations of calamity. He escaped also -that persecution to which he would have been exposed in populous -places where boys run loose in packs, and harden one another in -impudence, mischief and cruelty. Natural feeling, when natural feeling -is not corrupted, leads men to regard persons in his condition with a -compassion not unmixed with awe. It is common with the country people -when they speak of such persons to point significantly at the head and -say _'tis not all there_;—words denoting a sense of the mysteriousness -of our nature which perhaps they feel more deeply on this than on any -other occasion. No outward and visible deformity can make them so -truly apprehend how fearfully and wonderfully we are made. - -William Dove's was not a case of fatuity. Though _all_ was not there, -there was a great deal. He was what is called _half-saved_. Some of -his faculties were more than ordinarily acute, but the power of self -conduct was entirely wanting in him. Fortunately it was supplied by a -sense of entire dependence which produced entire docility. A dog does -not obey his master more dutifully than William obeyed his brother; -and in this obedience there was nothing of fear; with all the strength -and simplicity of a child's love, it had also the character and merit -of a moral attachment. - -The professed and privileged Fool was generally characterized by a -spice of knavery, and not unfrequently of maliciousness: the unnatural -situation in which he was placed, tended to excite such propensities -and even to produce them. William had shrewdness enough for the -character, but nothing of this appeared in his disposition; ill-usage -might perhaps have awakened it, and to a fearful degree, if he had -proved as sensible to injury as he was to kindness. But he had never -felt an injury. He could not have been treated with more tenderness in -Turkey (where a degree of holiness is imputed to persons in his -condition) than was uniformly shewn him within the little sphere of -his perambulations. It was surprizing how much he had picked up within -that little sphere. Whatever event occurred, whatever tale was -current, whatever traditions were preserved, whatever superstitions -were believed, William knew them all; and all that his insatiable ear -took in, his memory hoarded. Half the proverbial sayings in Ray's -volume were in his head, and as many more with which Ray was -unacquainted. He knew many of the stories which our children are now -receiving as novelties in the selections from Grimm's _Kinder- und -Haus-Marchen_, and as many of those which are collected in the Danish -Folk-Sagn. And if some zealous lover of legendary lore, (like poor -John Leyden, or Sir Walter Scott) had fallen in with him, the -Shakesperian commentators might perhaps have had the whole story of -St. Withold; the Wolf of the World's End might have been identified -with Fenris and found to be a relic of the Scalds: and Rauf Collyer -and John the Reeve might still have been as well known as Adam Bell, -and Clym of the Clough and William of Cloudeslie. - -William had a great fondness for his nephew. Let not Protestants -suppose that Nepotism is an affection confined to the dignitaries of -the Roman Catholic Church. In its excess indeed it is peculiarly a -Papal vice,—which is a degree higher than a Cardinal one; but like -many other sins it grows out of the corruption of a good feeling. It -may be questioned whether fond uncles are not as numerous as unkind -ones, notwithstanding our recollections of King Richard and the -Children in the Wood. We may use the epithet nepotious for those who -carry this fondness to the extent of doting, and as expressing that -degree of fondness it may be applied to William Dove: he was a -nepotious uncle. The father regarded young Daniel with a deeper and -more thoughtful, but not with a fonder affection, not with such a -doting attachment. Dinah herself, though a fond as well as careful -mother did not more thoroughly - - ———delight to hear - Her early child mis-speak half-uttered words;[1] - -and perhaps the boy so long as he was incapable of distinguishing -between their moral qualities, and their relative claims to his -respect and love and duty, loved his uncle most of the three. The -father had no idle hours; in the intervals when he was not otherwise -employed, one of his dear books usually lay open before him, and if he -was not feeding upon the page, he was ruminating the food it had -afforded him. But William Dove from the time that his nephew became -capable of noticing and returning caresses seemed to have concentered -upon him all his affections. With children affection seldom fails of -finding its due return; and if he had not thus won the boy's heart in -infancy, he would have secured it in childhood by winning his ear with -these marvellous stories. But he possessed another talent which would -alone have made him a favourite with children,—the power of imitating -animal sounds with singular perfection. A London manager would have -paid him well for performing the cock in Hamlet. He could bray in -octaves to a nicety, set the geese gabbling by addressing them in -their own tongue, and make the turkey-cock spread his fan, brush his -wing against the ground, and angrily gob-gobble in answer to a gobble -of defiance. But he prided himself more upon his success with the -owls, as an accomplishment of more difficult attainment. In this Mr. -Wordsworth's boy of Winander was not more perfect. Both hands were -used as an instrument in producing the notes; and if Pope could have -heard the responses which came from barn and doddered oak and ivied -crag, he would rather, (satirist as he was,) have left Ralph -unsatirized, than have vilified one of the wildest and sweetest of -nocturnal sounds. - -[Footnote 1: DONNE.] - -He was not less expert to a human ear in hitting off the wood-pigeon's -note, though he could not in this instance provoke a reply. This sound -he used to say ought to be natural to him, and it was wrong in the -bird not to acknowledge his relation. Once when he had made too free -with a lasses lips, he disarmed his brother of a reprehensive look, by -pleading that as his name was William Dove it behoved him both to -_bill_ and to _coo_. - - - - -CHAPTER XI. P. I. - -A WORD TO THE READER, SHEWING WHERE WE ARE, AND HOW WE CAME HERE, AND -WHEREFORE; AND WHITHER WE ARE GOING. - - 'Tis my venture - On your retentive wisdom. - -BEN JONSON. - - -Reader, you have not forgotten where we are at this time: you remember -I trust, that we are neither at Dan nor Beersheba; nor any where -between those two celebrated places; nor on the way to either of them: -but that we are in the Doctor's parlour, that Mrs. Dove has just -poured out his seventh cup of tea, and that the clock of St. George's -has struck five. In what street, parade, place, square, row, terrace -or lane, and in what town, and in what county; and on what day, and in -what month, and in what year, will be explained in due time. You -cannot but remember what was said in the second chapter _post-initium_ -concerning the importance and the necessity of order in an undertaking -like this. “All things,” says Sir Thomas Brown, “began in order; so -shall they end, and so shall they begin again; according to the -ordainer of order, and mystical mathematics of the City of Heaven:” -This awful sentence was uttered by the Philosopher of Norwich upon -occasion of a subject less momentous than that whereon we have -entered, for what are the mysteries of the _Quincunx_ compared to the -delineation of a human mind? Be pleased only at present to bear in -mind where we are. Place but as much confidence in me as you do in -your review, your newspaper, and your apothecary; give me but as much -credit as you expect from your tailor; and if your apothecary deserves -that confidence as well, it will be well for you, and if your credit -is as punctually redeemed it will be well for your tailor. It is not -without cause that I have gone back to the Doctor's childhood and his -birth place. Be thou assured, O Reader! that he never could have been -seated thus comfortably in that comfortable parlour where we are now -regarding him—never by possibility could have been at that time in -that spot, and in those circumstances;—never could have been the -Doctor that he was,—nay according to all reasonable induction, all -tangible or imaginable probabilities,—never would have been a Doctor -at all,—consequently thou never couldst have had the happiness of -reading this delectable history, nor I the happiness of writing it for -thy benefit and information and delight,—had it not been for his -father's character, his father's books, his schoolmaster Guy, and his -Uncle William, with all whom and which, it was therefore indispensable -that thou shouldst be made acquainted. - -A metaphysician, or as some of my contemporaries would affect to say a -psychologist, if he were at all a master of his art bablative (for it -is as much an _ars bablativa_ as the Law, which was defined to be so -by that old traitor and time-server Serjeant Maynard)—a metaphysician -I say, would not require more than three such octavo volumes as those -of Mr. Malthus's Essay on Population, to prove that no existing -circumstance could at this time be what it is, unless all preceding -circumstances had from the beginning of time been precisely what they -were. But, my good Reader, I have too much respect for you, and too -much regard for your precious time, and too much employment, or -amusement (which is a very rational kind of employment) for my own, to -waste it in demonstrating a truism. No man knows the value of time -more feelingly, than I do! - - Man's life, Sir, being - So short, and then the way that leads unto - The knowledge of ourselves, so long and tedious, - Each minute should be precious.[1] - -[Footnote 1: BEAUMONT and FLETCHER.] - -It is my wish and intention to make you acquainted with a person most -worthy to be known, for such the subject of this history will be -admitted to be: one whom when you once know him it will be impossible -that you should ever forget: one for whom I have the highest possible -veneration and regard; (and though it is not possible that your -feelings towards him should be what mine are) one who, the more he is -known, will and must be more and more admired. I wish to introduce -this person to you. Now, Sir, I appeal to your good sense, and to your -own standard of propriety, should I act with sufficient respect either -to yourself or him, if, without giving you any previous intimation, -any information, concerning his character and situation in life; or in -any way apprizing you who and what he was, I were to knock at your -door and simply present him to you as Doctor Dove? No, my dear Sir! it -is indispensable that you should be properly informed who it is whom I -thus introduce to your acquaintance; and if you are the judicious -person that I suppose you to be, you will be obliged to me as long as -you live. “For why,” as old Higgins hath it,— - - For why, who writes such histories as these - Doth often bring the Reader's heart such ease - As when they sit and see what he doth note, - Well fare his heart, say they, this book that wrote! - -Ill fare that reader's heart who of this book says otherwise! “_Tam -suavia dicam facinora, ut malè sit ei qui talibus non delectetur!_” -said a very different person from old Higgins, writing in a different -vein, I have not read his book, but so far as my own is concerned, I -heartily adopt his malediction. - -Had I been disposed, as the Persians say, to let the steed of the pen -expatiate in the plains of prolixity, I should have carried thee -farther back in the generations of the Doves. But the good garrulous -son of Garcilasso my Lord (Heaven rest the soul of the Princess who -bore him,—for Peru has never produced any thing else half so precious -as his delightful books,)—the Inca-blooded historian himself, I say, -was not more anxious to avoid that failing than I am. Forgive me, -Reader, if I should have fallen into an opposite error; forgive me if -in the fear of saying too much I should have said too little. I have -my misgivings:—I may have run upon Scylla while striving to avoid -Charybdis. Much interesting matter have I omitted; much have I past by -on which I “cast a longing lingering look behind;”—much which might -worthily find a place in the History of Yorkshire;—or of the West -Riding (if that history were tripartitively distributed;)—or in the -Gentleman's Magazine;—or in John Nichols's Illustrations of the -Literary History of the Eighteenth Century: (I honor John Nichols, I -honor Mr. Urban!) much more might it have had place,—much more might -it be looked for here. - -I might have told thee, Reader, of Daniel the Grandfather, and of -Abigail his second wife, who once tasted tea in the housekeeper's -apartments at Skipton Castle; and of the Great Grandfather who at the -age of twenty-eight died of the small pox, and was the last of the -family that wore a leathern jerkin; and of his father Daniel the -_atavus_, who was the first of the family that shaved, and who went -with his own horse and arms to serve in that brave troop, which during -the wreck of the King's party the heir of Lowther raised for the loyal -cause: and of that Daniel's Grandfather (the _tritavus_) who going to -Kentmere to bring home a wife was converted from the popish -superstition by falling in with Bernard Gilpin on the way. That -apostolic man was so well pleased with his convert, that he gave him -his own copy of Latimer's sermons,—that copy which was one of our -Daniel's Sunday books, and which was religiously preserved in -reverence for this ancestor, and for the Apostle of the North (as -Bernard Gilpin was called) whose autograph it contained. - -The history of any private family, however humble, could it be fully -related for five or six generations, would illustrate the state and -progress of society better than could be done by the most elaborate -dissertation. And the History of the Doves might be rendered as -interesting and as instructive as that of the Seymours or the Howards. -Frown not, My Lord of Norfolk, frown not, your Grace of Somerset, when -I add, that it would contain less for their descendants to regret. - - - - -CHAPTER XII. P. I. - -A HISTORY NOTICED WHICH IS WRITTEN BACKWARD. THE CONFUSION OF TONGUES -AN ESPECIAL EVIL FOR SCHOOLBOYS. - - For never in the long and tedious tract - Of slavish grammar was I made to plod; - No tyranny of Rules my patience rackt; - I served no prenticehood to any Rod; - But in the freedom of the Practic way - Learnt to go right, even when I went astray. - -DR. BEAUMONT. - - -It has been the general practice of historians, from the time of -Moses, to begin at the beginning of their subject: but as a river may -be traced either from its sources or its mouth, so it appears that a -history may be composed in the reversed order of its chronology; and a -French author of very considerable ability and great learning has -actually written a history of the Christian religion from his own -times upwards. It forms part of an elaborate and extensive work -entitled _Parallele des Religions_, which must have been better known -than it appears to be at present if it had not happened to be -published in Paris during the most turbulent year of the Revolution. -Perhaps if I had carried back the memoirs of the Dove family, I might -have followed his example in chusing the up-hill way, and have -proceeded from son to father in the ascending line. But having -resolved (whether judiciously or not) not to go farther back in these -family records than the year of our Lord 1723, being the year of the -Doctor's birth, I shall continue in the usual course, and pursue his -history _ab incunabulis_ down to that important evening on which we -find him now reaching out his hand to take that cup of tea which Mrs. -Dove has just creamed and sugared for him. After all the beaten way is -usually the best, and always the safest. “He ought to be well -mounted,” says Aaron Hill, “who is for leaping the hedges of custom.” -For myself I am not so adventurous a horseman as to take the hazards -of a steeple chace. - -Proceeding therefore after the model of a Tyburn biography, which -being an ancient as well as popular form is likely to be the best,—we -come after birth and parentage to education. “That the world from -Babel was scattered into divers tongues, we need not other proof,” -says a grave and good author, “than as Diogenes proved that there is -motion,—by walking;—so we may see the confusion of languages by our -confused speaking. Once all the earth was of one tongue, one speech -and one consent; for they all spake in the holy tongue wherein the -world was created in the beginning. But _pro peccato dissentionis -humanæ_ (as saith St. Austin,)—for the sin of men disagreeing,—not -only different dispositions but also different languages came into the -world.—They came to Babel with a disagreeing agreement; and they came -away punished with a speechless speech. They disagree among -themselves, while every one strives for dominion. They agree against -God in their _Nagnavad lan Liguda_,—we will make ourselves a -rendezvous for idolatry. But they come away speaking to each other, -but not understood of each other; and so speak to no more purpose than -if they spake not at all. This punishment of theirs at Babel is like -Adam's corruption, hereditary to us; for we never come under the rod -at the Grammar School, but we smart for our ancestor's rebellion at -Babel.” - -Light lie the earth upon the bones of Richard Guy, the Schoolmaster of -Ingleton! He never consumed birch enough in his vocation to have made -a besom; and his ferule was never applied unless when some moral -offence called for a chastisement that would be felt. There is a -closer connection between good-nature and good sense than is commonly -supposed. A sour ill-tempered pedagogue would have driven Daniel -through the briars and brambles of the Grammar and foundered him in -its sloughs; Guy led him gently along the green-sward. He felt that -childhood should not be made altogether a season of painful -acquisition, and that the fruits of the sacrifices then made are -uncertain as to the account to which they may be turned, and are also -liable to the contingencies of life at least, if not otherwise -jeopardized. “_Puisque le jour peut lui manquer, laissons le un peu -jouir de l'Aurore!_” The precepts which warmth of imagination inspired -in Jean Jacques was impressed upon Guy's practice by gentleness of -heart. He never crammed the memory of his pupil with such horrific -terms as Prothesis, Aphæresis, Epenthesis, Syncope, Paragoge, and -Apocope; never questioned him concerning Appositio, Evocatio, -Syllepsis, Prolepsis, Zeugma, Synthesis, Antiptosis, and Synecdoche; -never attempted to deter him (as Lily says boys are above all things -to be deterred) from those faults which Lily also says, seem almost -natural to the English,—the heinous faults of Iotacism, Lambdacism, -(which Alcibiades affected,)—Ischnotesism, Trauli'sm and Plateasm. But -having grounded him well in the nouns and verbs, and made him -understand the concords, he then followed in part the excellent advice -of Lily thus given in his address to the Reader: - -“When these concords be well known unto them (an easy and pleasant -pain, if the foregrounds be well and thoroughly beaten in) let them -not continue in learning of the rules orderly, as they lie in their -Syntax, but rather learn some pretty book wherein is contained not -only the eloquence of the tongue, but also a good plain lesson of -honesty and godliness; and thereof take some little sentence as it -lieth, and learn to make the same first out of English into Latin, not -seeing the book, or construing it thereupon. And if there fall any -necessary rule of the Syntax to be known, then to learn it, as the -occasion of the sentence giveth cause that day; which sentence once -made well, and as nigh as may be with the words of the book, then to -take the book and construe it; and so shall he be less troubled with -the parsing of it, and easiliest carry his lesson in mind.” - -Guy followed this advice in part; and in part he deviated from it, -upon Lily's own authority, as “judging that the most sufficient way -which he saw to be the readiest mean;” while therefore he exercised -his pupil in writing Latin pursuant to this plan, he carried him on -faster in construing, and promoted the boy's progress by gratifying -his desire of getting forward. When he had done with Cordery, Erasmus -was taken up,—for some of Erasmus's colloquies were in those days used -as a school book, and the most attractive one that could be put into a -boy's hands. After he had got through this, the aid of an English -version was laid aside. And here Guy departed from the ordinary -course, not upon any notion that he could improve upon it, but merely -because he happened to possess an old book composed for the use of -Schools, which was easy enough to suit young Daniel's progress in the -language, and might therefore save the cost of purchasing Justin or -Phædrus or Cornelius Nepos, or Eutropius,—to one or other of which he -would otherwise have been introduced. - - - - -CHAPTER XIII. P. I. - -A DOUBT CONCERNING SCHOOL BOOKS, WHICH WILL BE DEEMED HERETICAL: AND -SOME ACCOUNT OF AN EXTRAORDINARY SUBSTITUTE FOR OVID OR VIRGIL. - -They say it is an ill mason that refuseth any stone; and there is no -knowledge but in a skilful hand serves, either positively as it is, or -else to illustrate some other knowledge. - -HERBERT'S REMAINS. - - -I am sometimes inclined to think that pigs are brought up upon a wiser -system, than boys at a grammar school. The Pig is allowed to feed upon -any kind of offal, however coarse, on which he can thrive, till the -time approaches when pig is to commence pork, or take a degree as -bacon; and then he is fed daintily. Now it has sometimes appeared to -me that in like manner, boys might acquire their first knowledge of -Latin from authors very inferior to those which are now used in all -schools; provided the matter was unexceptionable and the Latinity -good; and that they should not be introduced to the standard works of -antiquity till they are of an age in some degree to appreciate what -they read. - -Understand me, Reader, as speaking doubtfully,—and that too upon a -matter of little moment; for the scholar will return in riper years to -those authors which are worthy of being studied, and as for the -blockhead—it signifies nothing whether the book which he consumes by -thumbing it in the middle and dog-earing it at the corners be worthy -or not of a better use. Yet if the dead have any cognizance of -posthumous fame, one would think it must abate somewhat of the -pleasure with which Virgil and Ovid regard their earthly immortality, -when they see to what base purposes their productions are applied. -That their verses should be administered to boys in regular doses, as -lessons or impositions, and some dim conception of their meaning whipt -into the tail when it has failed to penetrate the head, cannot be just -the sort of homage to their genius which they anticipated or desired. - -Not from any reasonings or refinements of this kind, but from the mere -accident of possessing the book, Guy put into his pupil's hands the -Dialogues of Johannes Ravisius Textor. Jean Tixier, Seigneur de -Ravisy, in the Nivernois, who thus latinized his name, is a person -whose works, according to Baillet's severe censure, were buried in the -dust of a few petty colleges and unfrequented shops, more than a -century ago. He was however in his day a person of no mean station in -the world of letters, having been Rector of the University of Paris, -at the commencement of the 16th century; and few indeed are the -writers whose books have been so much used; for perhaps no other -author ever contributed so largely to the manufacture of exercises -whether in prose or verse, and of sermons also. Textor may be -considered as the first compiler of the _Gradus ad Parnassum_; and -that collection of Apopthegms was originally formed by him, which -Conrade Lycosthenes enlarged and re-arranged; which the Jesuits -adopted after expurgating it; and which during many generations served -as one of the standard common-place books for common-place divines in -this country as well as on the continent. - -But though Textor was continually working in classical literature with -a patience and perseverance which nothing but the delight he -experienced in such occupations could have sustained, he was without a -particle of classical taste. His taste was that of the age wherein he -flourished, and these his Dialogues are Moralities in Latin verse. The -designs and thoughts which would have accorded with their language had -they been written either in old French or old English, appear when -presented in Latinity, which is always that of a scholar, and largely -interwoven with scraps from familiar classics, as strange as Harlequin -and Pantaloon would do in heroic costume. - -Earth opens the first of these curious compositions with a bitter -complaint for the misfortunes which it is her lot to witness. Age -(_Ætas_) overhears the lamentation and enquires the cause; and after a -dialogue in which the author makes the most liberal use of his own -common-places, it appears that the perishable nature of all sublunary -things is the cause of this mourning. _Ætas_ endeavours to persuade -_Terra_ that her grief is altogether unreasonable by such brief and -cogent observations as _Fata jubent_, _Fata volunt_, _Ita Diis -placitum_. Earth asks the name of her philosophic consoler, but upon -discovering it, calls her _falsa virago_, and _meretrix_, and abuses -her as being the very author of all the evils that distress her. -However _Ætas_ succeeds in talking _Terra_ into better humour, advises -her to exhort man that he should not set his heart upon perishable -things, and takes her leave as _Homo_ enters. After a recognition -between mother and son, _Terra_ proceeds to warn _Homo_ against all -the ordinary pursuits of this world. To convince him of the vanity of -glory she calls up in succession the ghosts of Hector, Achilles, -Alexander and Samson, who tell their tales and admonish him that valor -and renown afford no protection against Death. To exemplify the vanity -of beauty Helen, Lais, Thisbe and Lucretia are summoned, relate in -like manner their respective fortunes, and remind him that _pulvis et -umbra sumus_. Virgil preaches to him upon the emptiness of literary -fame. Xerxes tells him that there is no avail in power, Nero that -there is none in tyranny, Sardanapalus that there is none in -voluptuousness. But the application which _Homo_ makes of all this, is -the very reverse to what his mother intended: he infers that seeing he -must die at last, live how he will, the best thing he can do is to -make a merry life of it, so away he goes to dance and revel and enjoy -himself: and _Terra_ concludes with the mournful observation that men -will still pursue their bane, unmindful of their latter end. - -Another of these Moralities begins with three Worldlings (_Tres -Mundani_) ringing changes upon the pleasures of profligacy, in -Textor's peculiar manner, each in regular succession saying something -to the same purport in different words. As thus - - PRIMUS MUNDANUS. - _Si breve tempus abit_, - - SECUNDUS MUNDANUS. - _Si vita caduca recedit_; - - TERTIUS MUNDANUS. - _Si cadit hora_. - - PRIMUS MUNDANUS. - _Dies abeunt_, - - SECUNDUS MUNDANUS. - _Perit Omne_, - - TERTIUS MUNDANUS. - _Venit Mors_, - - PRIMUS MUNDANUS. - _Quidnam prodesset fati meminisse futuri?_ - - SECUNDUS MANDANUS. - _Quidnam prodesset lachrymis consumere vitam?_ - - TERTIUS MUNDANUS. - _Quidnam prodesset tantis incumbere curis?_ - -Upon which an unpleasant personage who has just appeared to interrupt -their trialogue observes, - - _Si breve tempus abit, si vita caduca recedit, - Si cadit hora, dies abeunt, perit omne, venit Mors, - Quidnam lethiferæ Mortis meminisse nocebit?_ - -It is _Mors_ herself who asks the question. The three Worldlings -however behave as resolutely as Don Juan in the old drama; they tell -Death that they are young and rich and active and vigorous, and set -all admonition at defiance. Death or rather Mrs. Death, (for _Mors_ -being feminine is called _læna_, and _meretrix_, and _virago_,) takes -all this patiently, and letting them go off in a dance, calls up Human -Nature who has been asleep meantime, and asks her how she can sleep in -peace while her sons are leading a life of dissipation and debauchery? -Nature very coolly replies by demanding why they should not? and Death -answers, because they must go to the infernal regions for so doing. -Upon this Nature, who appears to be liberally inclined, asks if it is -credible that any should be obliged to go there? and Death to convince -her calls up a soul from bale to give an account of his own -sufferings. A dreadful account this _Damnatus_ gives; and when Nature, -shocked at what she hears, enquires if he is the only one who is -tormented in _Orcus_, _Damnatus_ assures her that hardly one in a -thousand goes to Heaven, but that his fellow-sufferers are in number -numberless; and he specifies among them Kings and Popes, and Senators -and severe Schoolmasters,—a class of men whom Textor seems to have -held in great and proper abhorrence—as if like poor Thomas Tusser he -had suffered under their inhuman discipline. - -Horrified at this, Nature asks advice of _Mors_, and _Mors_ advises -her to send a Son of Thunder round the world, who should reprove the -nations for their sins, and sow the seeds of virtue by his preaching. -_Peregrinus_ goes upon this mission and returns to give an account of -it. Nothing can be worse than the report. As for the Kings of the -Earth, it would be dangerous, he says, to say what they were doing. -The Popes suffered the ship of Peter to go wherever the winds carried -it. Senators were won by intercession or corrupted by gold. Doctors -spread their nets in the temples for prey, and Lawyers were dumb -unless their tongues were loosened by money.—Had he seen the -Italians?—Italy was full of dissentions, ripe for war, and defiled by -its own infamous vice. The Spaniards?—They were suckled by Pride. The -English?— - - _Gens tacitis prægnans arcanis, ardua tentans, - Edita tartareis mihi creditur esse tenebris._ - -In short the Missionary concludes that he has found every where an -abundant crop of vices, and that all his endeavours to produce -amendment have been like ploughing the sea shore. Again afflicted -Nature asks advice of _Mors_, and _Mors_ recommends that she should -call up Justice and send her abroad with her scourge to repress the -wicked. But Justice is found to be so fast asleep that no calling can -awaken her. _Mors_ then advises her to summon _Veritas_; alas! unhappy -_Veritas_ enters complaining of pains from head to foot and in all the -intermediate parts, within and without; she is dying and entreats that -Nature will call some one to confess her. But who shall be applied -to?—Kings? They will not come.—Nobles? _Veritas_ is a hateful -personage to them.—Bishops, or mitred Abbots? They have no regard for -Truth.—Some Saint from the desert? Nature knows not where to find one! -Poor _Veritas_ therefore dies “unhouseled, disappointed, unanealed;” -and forthwith three Demons enter rejoicing that Human Nature is left -with none to help her, and that they are Kings of this world. They -call in their Ministers, _Caro_ and _Voluptas_ and _Vitium_, and send -them to do their work among mankind. These successful missionaries -return, and relate how well they have sped every where; and the Demons -being by this time hungry, after washing in due form, and many -ceremonious compliments among themselves, sit down to a repast which -their ministers have provided. The bill of fare was one which -Beelzebub's Court of Aldermen might have approved. There were the -brains of a fat monk,—a roasted Doctor of Divinity who afforded great -satisfaction,—a King's sirloin,—some broiled Pope's flesh, and part of -a Schoolmaster; the joint is not specified, but I suppose it to have -been the rump. Then came a Senator's lights and a Lawyer's tongue. - -When they have eaten of these dainties till the distended stomach can -hold no more, _Virtus_ comes in and seeing them send off the fragments -to their Tartarean den, calls upon mankind to bestow some sustenance -upon her, for she is tormented with hunger. The Demons and their -ministers insult her and drive her into banishment; they tell Nature -that to-morrow the great King of Orcus will come and carry her away in -chains; off they go in a dance, and Nature concludes the piece by -saying that what they have threatened must happen, unless Justice -shall be awakened, Virtue fed, and _Veritas_ restored to life by the -sacred book. - -There are several other Dialogues in a similar strain of fiction. The -rudest and perhaps oldest specimen of this style is to be found in -Pierce Ploughman, the most polished in Calderon, the most popular in -John Bunyan's Holy War, and above all in his Pilgrim's Progress. It -appears from the Dialogues that they were not composed for the use of -youth alone as a school book, but were represented at College; and -poor as they are in point of composition, the oddity of their -combinations, and the wholesome honesty of their satire, were well -adapted to strike young imaginations and make an impression there -which better and wiser works might have failed to leave. - -A schoolmaster who had been regularly bred would have regarded such a -book with scorn, and discerning at once its obvious faults, would have -been incapable of perceiving any thing which might compensate for -them. But Guy was not educated well enough to despise a writer like -old Textor. What he knew himself, he had picked up where and how he -could, in bye ways and corners. The book was neither in any respect -above his comprehension, nor below his taste; and Joseph Warton, never -rolled off the hexameters of Virgil or Homer, _ore rotundo_, with more -delight, when expatiating with all the feelings of a scholar and a -poet upon their beauties, to such pupils as Headley and Russell and -Bowles, than Guy paraphrased these rude but striking allegories to his -delighted Daniel. - - - - -CHAPTER XIV. P. I. - -AN OBJECTION ANSWERED. - - Is this then your wonder? - Nay then you shall under- - stand more of my skill. - -BEN JONSON. - - -“This account of Textor's Dialogues,” says a critical Reader, “might -have done very well for the Retrospective Review, or one of the -Magazines, or D'Israeli's Curiosities of Literature. But no one would -have looked for it here, where it is completely out of place.” - -“My good Sir, there is quite enough left untouched in Textor to form a -very amusing paper for the journal which you have mentioned, and the -Editor may thank you for the hint. But you are mistaken in thinking -that what has been said of those Dialogues is out of place here. May I -ask what you expected in these volumes?” - -“What the Title authorized me to look for.” - -“Do you know, Sir, what mutton broth means at a city breakfast on the -Lord Mayor's Day, mutton broth being the appointed breakfast for that -festival? It means according to established usage—by liberal -interpretation—mutton broth and every thing else that can be wished -for at a breakfast. So, Sir, you have here not only what the title -seems to specify, but every thing else that can be wished for in a -book. In treating of the Doctor, it treats _de omnibus rebus et -quibusdam aliis_. It is the Doctor &c., and that &c., like one of -Lyttleton's, implies every thing that can be deduced from the words -preceding. - -“But I maintain that the little which has been said of comical old -Textor (for it is little compared to what his Dialogues contain) -strictly relates to the main thread of this most orderly and well -compacted work. You will remember that I am now replying to the -question proposed in the third chapter P. I. ‘Who was the Doctor?’ And -as he who should undertake to edite the works of Chaucer, or Spenser, -or Shakespear would not be qualified for the task, unless he had made -himself conversant with the writings of those earlier authors, from -whose storehouses (as far as they drew from books) their minds were -fed; so it behoved me (as far as my information and poor ability -extend) to explain in what manner so rare a character as Dr. Dove's -was formed. - -“_Quo semel est imbuta recens_,—you know the rest of the quotation, -Sir. And perhaps you may have tasted water out of a beery glass,—which -it is not one or two rinsings that can purify. - -“You have seen yew trees cut into the forms of pyramids, chess-kings, -and peacocks:—nothing can be more unlike their proper growth—and yet -no tree except the yew could take the artificial figures so well. The -garden passes into the possession of some new owner who has no taste -for such ornaments: the yews are left to grow at their own will; they -lose the preposterous shape which had been forced upon them, without -recovering that of their natural growth, and what was formal becomes -grotesque—a word which may be understood as expressing the incongruous -combination of formality with extravagance or wildness.” - -The intellectual education which young Daniel received at home was as -much out of the ordinary course as the book in which he studied at -school. Robinson Crusoe had not yet reached Ingleton. Sandford and -Merton had not been written, nor that history of Pecksey and Flapsey -and the Robin's Nest, which is the prettiest fiction that ever was -composed for children, and for which its excellent authoress will one -day rank high among women of genius when time shall have set its seal -upon desert. The only book within his reach, of all those which now -come into the hands of youth, was the Pilgrim's Progress, and this he -read at first without a suspicion of its allegorical import. What he -did not understand was as little remembered as the sounds of the wind, -or the motions of the passing clouds; but the imagery and the -incidents took possession of his memory and his heart. After a while -Textor became an interpreter of the immortal Tinker, and the boy -acquired as much of the meaning by glimpses as was desirable, enough -to render some of the personages more awful by spiritualizing them, -while the tale itself remained as a reality. Oh! what blockheads are -those wise persons who think it necessary that a child should -comprehend every thing it reads! - - - - -CHAPTER XV. P. I. - -THE AUTHOR VENTURES AN OPINION AGAINST THE PREVAILING WISDOM OF MAKING -CHILDREN PREMATURELY WISE. - - Pray you, use your freedom; - And so far, if you please allow me mine, - To hear you only; not to be compelled - To take your moral potions. - -MASSINGER. - - -“What, Sir,” exclaims a Lady, who is bluer than ever one of her naked -and woad-stained ancestors appeared at a public festival in full -dye,—“what, Sir, do you tell us that children are not to be made to -understand what they are taught?” And she casts her eyes complacently -toward an assortment of those books which so many writers, male and -female, some of the infidel, some of the semi-fidel, and some of the -super-fidel schools have composed for the laudable purpose of enabling -children to understand every thing.—“What, Sir,” she repeats, “are we -to make our children learn things by rote like parrots, and fill their -heads with words to which they cannot attach any signification?” - -“Yes, Madam, in very many cases.” - -“I should like, Sir, to be instructed why?” - -She says this in a tone, and with an expression both of eyes and lips -which plainly show, in direct opposition to the words, that the Lady -thinks herself much fitter to instruct, than to be instructed. It is -not her fault. She is a good woman, and naturally a sensible one, but -she has been trained up in the way women should not go. She has been -carried from lecture to lecture, like a student who is being crammed -at a Scotch University. She has attended lectures on chemistry, -lectures on poetry, lectures on phrenology, lectures on mnemonics; she -has read the latest and most applauded essays on Taste: she has -studied the newest and most approved treatises practical and -theoretical upon Education: she has paid sufficient attention to -metaphysics to know as much as a professed philosopher about matter -and spirit; she is a proficient in political economy, and can -discourse upon the new science of population. Poor Lady, it would -require large draughts of Lethe to clear out all this undigested and -undigestible trash, and fit her for becoming what she might have been! -Upon this point however it may be practicable to set her right. - -“You are a mother, Madam, and a good one. In caressing your infants -you may perhaps think it unphilosophical to use what I should call the -proper and natural language of the nursery. But doubtless you talk to -them; you give some utterance to your feelings; and whether that -utterance be in legitimate and wise words, or in good extemporaneous -nonsense it is alike to the child. The conventional words convey no -more meaning to him than the mere sound; but he understands from -either all that is meant, all that you wish him to understand, all -that is to be understood. He knows that it is an expression of your -love and tenderness, and that he is the object of it. - -“So too it continues after he is advanced from infancy into childhood. -When children are beginning to speak they do not and cannot affix any -meaning to half the words which they hear; yet they learn their mother -tongue. What I say is, do not attempt to force their intellectual -growth. Do not feed them with meat till they have teeth to masticate -it. - -“There is a great deal which they ought to learn, can learn, and must -learn, before they can or ought to understand it. How many questions -must you have heard from them which you have felt to be best answered, -when they were with most dexterity put aside! Let me tell you a story -which the Jesuit Manuel de Vergara used to tell of himself. When he -was a little boy he asked a Dominican Friar what was the meaning of -the seventh commandment, for he said he could not tell what committing -adultery was. The Friar not knowing how to answer, cast a perplexed -look round the room, and thinking he had found a safe reply pointed to -a kettle on the fire, and said the Commandment meant that he must -never put his hand in the pot while it was boiling. The very next day, -a loud scream alarmed the family, and behold there was little Manuel -running about the room holding up his scalded finger, and exclaiming -‘Oh dear, oh dear, I've committed adultery! I've committed adultery! -I've committed adultery!’” - - - - -CHAPTER XVI. P. I. - -USE AND ABUSE OF STORIES IN REASONING, WITH A WORD IN BEHALF OF -CHIMNEY-SWEEPERS AND IN REPROOF OF THE EARL OF LAUDERDALE. - -My particular inclination moves me in controversy especially to -approve his choice that said, _fortia mallem quam formosa_. - -DR. JACKSON. - - -I ended that last chapter with a story, and though “I say it who -should not say it,” it is a good story well applied. Of what use a -story may be even in the most serious debates may be seen from the -circulation of old Joes in Parliament, which are as current there as -their sterling namesakes used to be in the city some threescore years -ago. A jest though it should be as stale as last weeks newspaper, and -as flat as Lord Flounder's face, is sure to be received with laughter -by the Collective Wisdom of the Nation: nay it is sometimes thrown out -like a tub to the whale, or like a trail of carrion to draw off hounds -from the scent. - -The Bill which should have put an end to the inhuman practice of -employing children to sweep chimneys, was thrown out on the third -reading in the House of Lords (having passed the Commons without a -dissentient voice) by a speech from Lord Lauderdale, the force of -which consisted in, literally, a Joe Millar jest. He related that an -Irishman used to sweep his chimney by letting a rope down, which was -fastened round the legs of a goose, and then pulling the goose after -it. A neighbour to whom he recommended this as a convenient mode -objected to it upon the score of cruelty to the goose: upon which he -replied, that a couple of ducks might do as well. Now if the Bill -before the house had been to enact that men should no longer sweep -chimneys but that boys should be used instead, the story would have -been applicable. It was no otherwise applicable than as it related to -chimney-sweeping: but it was a joke, and that sufficed. The Lords -laughed; his Lordship had the satisfaction of throwing out the Bill, -and the home Negro trade has continued from that time, now seven -years, till this day, and still continues. His Lordship had his jest, -and it is speaking within compass to say that in the course of those -seven years two thousand children have been _sacrificed_ in -consequence. - -The worst actions of Lord Lauderdale's worst ancestor admit of a -better defence before God and Man. - -Had his Lordship perused the evidence which had been laid before the -House of Commons when the Bill was brought in, upon which evidence the -Bill was founded? Was he aware of the shocking barbarities connected -with the trade, and inseparable from it? Did he know that children -inevitably lacerate themselves in learning this dreadful occupation? -that they are frequently crippled by it? frequently lose their lives -in it by suffocation, or by slow fire? that it induces a peculiar and -dreadful disease? that they who survive the accumulated hardships of a -childhood during which they are exposed to every kind of misery, and -destitute of every kind of comfort, have at the age of seventeen or -eighteen to seek their living how they can in some other -employment,—for it is only by children that this can be carried on? -Did his Lordship know that girls as well as boys are thus abused? that -their sufferings begin at the age of six, sometimes a year earlier? -finally that they are sold to this worst and most inhuman of all -slaveries, and sometimes stolen for the purpose of being sold to it? - -I bear no ill-will towards Lord Lauderdale, either personally or -politically: far from it. His manly and honorable conduct on the -Queen's trial, when there was such an utter destitution of honor in -many quarters where it was believed to exist, and so fearful a want of -manliness where it ought to have been found, entitles him to the -respect and gratitude of every true Briton. But I will tell his -Lordship that rather than have spoken as he did against an act which -would have lessened the sum of wickedness and suffering in this -country,—rather than have treated a question of pure humanity with -contempt and ridicule,—rather than have employed my tongue for such a -purpose and with such success, I would———But no: I will not tell him -how I had concluded. I will not tell him what I had added in the -sincerity of a free tongue and an honest heart. I leave the sentence -imperfect rather than that any irritation which the strength of my -language might excite should lessen the salutary effects of -self-condemnation. - -James Montgomery! these remarks are too late for a place in thy -Chimney Sweepers' Friend: but insert them I pray thee in thy -newspaper, at the request of one who admires and loves thee as a Poet, -honors and respects thee as a man, and reaches out in spirit at this -moment a long arm to shake hands with thee in cordial good will. - -My compliments to you Mr. Bowring! your little poem in Montgomery's -benevolent album is in a strain of true poetry and right feeling. None -but a man of genius could have struck off such stanzas upon such a -theme. But when you wrote upon Humanity at Home, the useful reflection -might have occurred that Patriotism has no business abroad. Whatever -cause there may be to wish for amendment in the government and -institutions of other countries, keep aloof from all revolutionary -schemes for amending them, lest you should experience a far more -painful disappointment in their success than in their failure. No -spirit of prophecy is required for telling you that this must be the -result. Lay not up that cause of remorse for yourself, and time will -ripen in you what is crude, confirm what is right, and gently rectify -all that is erroneous; it will abate your political hopes, and enlarge -your religious faith, and stablish both upon a sure foundation. My -good wishes and sincere respects to you Mr. Bowring! - - - - -INTERCHAPTER II. - -ABALLIBOOZOBANGANORRIBO. - - _Io'l dico dunque, e dicol che ognun m'ode._ - -BENEDETTO VARCHI. - - -Whether the secret of the Freemasons be comprized in the mystic word -above is more than I think proper to reveal at present. But I have -broken no vow in uttering it. - -And I am the better for having uttered it. - -Mahomet begins some of the chapters of the Koran with certain letters -of unknown signification, and the commentators say that the meaning of -these initials ought not to be enquired. So Gelaleddin says, so sayeth -Taleb. And they say truly. Some begin with A. L. M. Some with K. H. I. -A. S.: some with T. H.;—T. S. M.;—T. S. or I. S. others with K. M.;—H. -M. A. S. K.;—N. M.;—a single _Kaf_, a single _Nun_ or a single _Sad_, -and _sad_ work would it be either for _Kaffer_ or Mussulman to search -for meaning where _none_ is. Gelaleddin piously remarks that there is -only One who knoweth the import of these letters—I reverence the name -which he uses too much to employ it upon this occasion. Mahomet -himself tells us that they are the signs of the Book which teacheth -the true doctrine,—the Book of the Wise,—the Book of Evidence, the -Book of Instruction. When he speaketh thus of the Koran he lieth like -an impostor as he is: but what he has said falsely of that false book -may be applied truly to this. It is the Book of Instruction inasmuch -as every individual reader among the thousands and tens of thousands -who peruse it will find something in it which he did not know before. -It is the Book of Evidence because of its internal truth. It is the -Book of the Wise, because the wiser a man is the more he will delight -therein; yea, the delight which he shall take in it will be the -measure of his intellectual capacity. And that it teacheth the true -doctrine is plain from this circumstance, that I defy the British -Critic, the Antijacobin, the Quarterly and the Eclectic Reviews,—aye, -and the Evangelical, the Methodist, the Baptist and the Orthodox -Churchman's Magazine, with the Christian Observer to boot, to detect -any one heresy in it. Therefore I say again - - Aballiboozobanganorribo, - -and like Mahomet I say that it is the Sign of the Book; and therefore -it is that I have said it; - - _Nondimen nè la lingua degli Hebrei - Nè la Latina, nè la Greca antica, - Nè quella forse ancor degli Aramei._[1] - -[Footnote 1: MOLZA.] - -Happen it may,—for things not less strange have happened, and what has -been may be again;—for may be and has been are only tenses of the same -verb, and that verb is eternally being declined:——Happen I say it may; -and peradventure if it may it must; and certainly if it must it -will:—but what with indicatives and subjunctives, presents, -præterperfects and paulo-post-futura, the parenthesis is becoming too -long for the sentence, and I must begin it again. A prudent author -should never exact too much from the breath or the attention of his -reader,—to say nothing of the brains. - -Happen then it may that this Book may outlive Lord Castlereagh's -Peace, Mr. Pitt's reputation (we will throw Mr. Fox's into the -bargain); Mr. Locke's Metaphysics, and the Regent's Bridge in St. -James's Park. It may outlive the eloquence of Burke, the discoveries -of Davy, the poems of Wordsworth, and the victories of Wellington. It -may outlive the language in which it is written; and in heaven knows -what year of heaven knows what era, be discovered by some learned -inhabitant of that continent which the insects who make coral and -madrepore are now, and from the beginning of the world have been, -fabricating in the Pacific Ocean. It may be dug up among the ruins of -London, and considered as one of the Sacred Books of the Sacred Island -of the West,—for I cannot but hope that some reverence will always be -attached to this most glorious and most happy island when its power -and happiness and glory like those of Greece shall have passed away. -It may be decyphered and interpreted, and give occasion to a new -religion called Dovery or Danielism, which may have its Chapels, -Churches, Cathedrals, Abbeys, Priories, Monasteries, Nunneries, -Seminaries, Colleges and Universities;—its Synods, Consistories, -Convocations and Councils;—its Acolytes, Sacristans, Deacons, Priests, -Archdeacons, Rural Deans, Chancellors, Prebends, Canons, Deans, -Bishops, Archbishops, Prince Bishops, Primates, Patriarchs, Cardinals -and Popes;—its most Catholic Kings, and its Kings most Dovish or most -Danielish. It may have Commentators and Expounders—(who can doubt that -it will have them?) who will leave unenlightened that which is dark, -and darken that which is clear. Various interpretations will be given, -and be followed by as many sects. Schisms must ensue; and the -tragedies, comedies and farces, with all the varieties of tragi-comedy -and tragi-farce or farcico-tragedy which have been represented in this -old world, be enacted in that younger one. Attack on the one side, -defence on the other; high Dovers and low Dovers; Danielites of a -thousand unimagined and unimaginable denominations; schisms, heresies, -seditions, persecutions, wars,—the dismal game of Puss-catch-corner -played by a nation instead of a family of children, and in dreadful -earnest, when power, property and life are to be won and lost! - -But without looking so far into the future history of Dovery, let me -exhort the learned Australian to whom the honour is reserved of -imparting this treasure to his countrymen, that he abstain from all -attempts at discovering the mysteries of Aballiboozobanganorribo! The -unapocalyptical arcana of that stupendous vocable are beyond his -reach;—so let him rest assured. Let him not plunge into the fathomless -depths of that great word, let him not attempt to soar to its -unapproachable heights. Perhaps,—and surely no man of judgement will -suppose that I utter any thing lightly,—perhaps if the object were -attainable, he might have cause to repent its attainment. If too -“little learning be a dangerous thing,” too much is more so; - - _Il saper troppo qualche volta nuoce._[2] - -[Footnote 2: MOLZA.] - -“Curiosity,” says Fuller, “is a kernel of the Forbidden Fruit, which -still sticketh in the throat of a natural man, sometimes to the danger -of his choaking.” - -There is a knowledge which is forbidden because it is dangerous. -Remember the Apple! Remember the beautiful tale of Cupid and Psyche! -Remember Cornelius Agrippa's library; the youth who opened in unhappy -hour his magical volume; and the choice moral which Southey, who -always writes so morally, hath educed from that profitable story! -Remember Bluebeard! But I am looking far into futurity. Bluebeard may -be forgotten; Southey may be forgotten; Cornelius Agrippa may be no -more remembered; Cupid and Psyche may be mere names which shall have -outlived all tales belonging to them;—Adam and Eve—Enough. - -Eat beans, if thou wilt, in spite of Pythagoras. Eat bacon with them, -for the Levitical law hath been abrogated: and indulge in -black-puddings, if thou likest such food, though there be Methodists -who prohibit them as sinful. But abstain from Aballiboozobanganorribo. - - - - -CHAPTER XVII. P. I. - -THE HAPPINESS OF HAVING A CATHOLIC TASTE. - - There's no want of meat, Sir; - Portly and curious viands are prepared - To please all kinds of appetites. - -MASSINGER. - - -A fastidious taste is like a squeamish appetite; the one has its -origin in some disease of mind, as the other has in some ailment of -the stomach. Your true lover of literature is never fastidious. I do -not mean the _helluo librorum_, the swinish feeder, who thinks that -every name which is to be found in a title-page, or on a tomb-stone, -ought to be rescued from oblivion; nor those first cousins of the -moth, who labour under a bulimy for black-letter, and believe every -thing to be excellent which was written in the reign of Elizabeth. I -mean the man of robust and healthy intellect, who gathers the harvest -of literature into his barns, threshes the straw, winnows the grain, -grinds it at his own mill, bakes it in his own oven, and then eats the -true bread of knowledge. If he bake his loaf upon a cabbage leaf, and -eat onions with his bread and cheese, let who will find fault with him -for his taste,—not I! - -The Doves, father as well as son, were blest with a hearty -intellectual appetite, and a strong digestion: but the son had the -more catholic taste. He would have relished caviare; would have -ventured upon laver undeterred by its appearance—and would have liked -it. - - What an excellent thing did God bestow on man - When he did give him a good stomach![1] - -[Footnote 1: BEAUMONT and FLETCHER.] - -He would have eaten sausages for breakfast at Norwich, Sally Luns at -Bath, Sweet Butter in Cumberland, Orange Marmalade at Edinburgh, -Findon Haddocks at Aberdeen, and drunk punch with Beef steaks to -oblige the French if they insisted upon obliging him with a _dejeûner -a l'Angloise_. - - A good digestion turneth all to health.[2] - -[Footnote 2: HERBERT.] - -He would have eaten squab-pye in Devonshire, and the pye which is -squabber than squab in Cornwall; sheep's head with the hair on in -Scotland, and potatoes roasted on the hearth in Ireland; frogs with -the French, pickled herrings with the Dutch, sour-krout with the -Germans, maccaroni with the Italians, aniseed with the Spaniards, -garlic with any body; horse-flesh with the Tartars; ass-flesh with the -Persians; dogs with the North Western American Indians, curry with the -Asiatic East Indians, birds' nests with the Chinese, mutton roasted -with honey with the Turks, pismire cakes on the Orinoco, and turtle -and venison with the Lord Mayor; and the turtle and venison he would -have preferred to all the other dishes, because his taste, though -catholic, was not indiscriminating. He would have tried all, tasted -all, thriven upon all, and lived contentedly and cheerfully upon -either, but he would have liked best that which was best. And his -intellectual appetite had the same happy catholicism. - -He would not have said with Euphues, “if I be in Crete, I can lie; if -in Greece, I can shift; if in Italy, I can court it:” but he might -have said with him, “I can carouse with Alexander; abstain with -Romulus; eat with the Epicure; fast with the Stoic; sleep with -Endymion; watch with Chrysippus.” - -The Reader will not have forgotten I trust, (but if he should I now -remind him of it,) that in the brief inventory of Daniel's library -there appeared some odd volumes of that “book full of Pantagruelism,” -the inestimable life of the Great Gargantua. The elder Daniel could -make nothing of this book; and the younger, who was about ten years -old when he began to read it, less than he could of the Pilgrim's -Progress. But he made out something. - -Young Daniel was free from all the _isms_ in Lily, and from rhotacism -to boot; he was clear too of schism, and all the worse _isms_ which -have arisen from it: having by the blessing of Providence been bred up -not in any denomination ending in _ist_ or _inian_, or _erian_ or -_arian_, but as a dutiful and contented son of the church of England. -In humour however he was by nature a Pantagruelist. And indeed in his -mature years he always declared that one of the reasons which had led -him to reject the old humoral pathology was that it did not include -Pantagruelism, which he insisted depended neither upon heat or cold, -moisture or dryness, nor upon any combination of those qualities; but -was itself a peculiar and elementary humour; a truth he said, of which -he was feelingly and experimentally convinced, and lauded the Gods -therefore. - -Mr. Wordsworth in that Poem which Mr. Jeffrey has said _won't do_—(Mr. -Jeffrey is always lucky in his predictions whether as a politician or -a critic,—bear witness Wellington! bear witness Wordsworth and -Southey! bear witness Elia and Lord Byron!) Mr. Wordsworth in that -Poem which - - The high and tender Muses shall accept - With gracious smile deliberately pleased, - And listening Time reward with sacred praise: - -Mr. Wordsworth in that noble Poem observes, - - Oh many are the Poets that are sown - By nature! - -Among the Emblems of Daniel Heinsius (look at his head, Reader, if -thou hast a collection of portraits to refer to, and thou wilt marvel -how so queer a conceit should have entered it, for seldom has there -been a face more gnarled and knotted with crabbed cogitation than that -of this man, who was one of the last of the Giants;)—among his -emblems, I say, is one which represents Cupid sowing a field, and -little heads springing out of the ground on all sides, some up to the -neck, others to the shoulders, and some with the arms out. If the crop -were examined I agree with Mr. Wordsworth that Poets would be found -there as thick as darnel in the corn;—and grave counsellors would not -be wanting whose advice would be that they should be weeded out. - -The Pantagruelists are scarcer. Greece produced three great tragic -Poets, and only one Aristophanes. The French had but one Rabelais when -the seven Pleiades shone in their poetical hemisphere. We have seen a -succession of great Tragedians from Betterton to the present time; and -in all that time there has been but one Grimaldi in whom the -Pantagruelism of Pantomime has found its perfect representative. - -And yet the Reader must not hastily conclude that I think -Pantagruelism a better thing than Poetry, because it is rarer; that -were imputing to me the common error of estimating things by their -rarity rather than their worth, an error more vulgar than any which -Sir Thomas Brown has refuted. But I do hold this, that all the -greatest Poets have had a spice of Pantagruelism in their composition, -which I verily believe was essential to their greatness. What the -world lost in losing the Margites of Homer we know not, we only know -that Homer had there proved himself a Pantagruelist. Shakespear was a -Pantagruelist; so was Cervantes; and till the world shall have -produced two other men in whom that humour has been wanting equal to -these, I hold my point established. - -Some one objects Milton. I thank him for the exception; it is just -such an exception as proves the rule; for look only at Milton's Limbo -and you will see what a glorious Pantagruelist he might have been,—if -the Puritans had not spoilt him for Pantagruelism. - - - - -CHAPTER XVIII. P. I. - -ALL'S WELL THAN ENDS WELL. - - Τὰ δ᾿ἄν ἐπιμνησϑῶ,—ὑπὸ τοῦ λόγου ἐξαναγκαζὀμενος ἐπιμνησϑῄσομαι. - -HERODOTUS. - - -If William Dove had been installed in office with cap and bells and -bauble, he would have been a Professor of Pantagruelism, and might -have figured in Flógel's History of such Professors with Tyll -Eulenspiegel, Piovano Arlotto, and Peter the Lion; and in Douce's -Illustrations of Shakespear with Muckle John, Rees Pengelding and -Robin Rush. The humour lay latent till the boy his nephew hit the -spring by reading to him some of those chapters in Rabelais which in -their literal grotesqueness were level to the capacity of both. These -readings led to a piece of practical Pantagruelism, for which William -would have been whipt if he had worn a Fool's coat. - -One unlucky day, Dan was reading to him that chapter wherein young -Gargantua relates the course of experiments which he had made with a -velvet mask, a leaf of vervain, his mother's glove, a lappet worked -with gold thread, a bunch of nettles, and other things more or less -unfit for the purpose to which they were applied. To those who are -acquainted with the history of Grandgousier's royal family, I need not -explain what that purpose was; nor must I to those who are not, (for -reasons that require no explanation) farther than to say, it was the -same purpose for which that wild enigma (the semi-composition of the -Sphinx's Ghost) was designed,—that enigma of all enigmas the wildest, - - “On which was written Ρῆγμάρωλ.” - -William had frequently interrupted him with bursts of laughter; but -when they came to that crowning experiment in which Gargantua thought -he had found the _beau ideal_ of what he was seeking, William clapt -his hands, and with an expression of glee in his countenance worthy of -Eulenspiegel himself exclaimed, “thou shalt try the Goose, Dan! thou -shalt try the Goose!” - -So with William's assistance the Goose was tried. They began with due -prudence, according to rule, by catching a Goose. In this matter a -couple of Ducks Lord Lauderdale knows would not have answered as well. -The boy then having gone through the ceremony which the devotees of -Baal are said to have performed at the foot of his Image, as the -highest act of devotion, (an act of super-reverence it was;) and for -which the Jews are said to have called him in mockery Baalzebul, -instead of Baalzebub;—cried out that he was ready. He was at that -moment in the third of those eight attitudes which form a _Rik'ath_. -My Readers who are versed in the fashionable Poets of the day (_this_ -day I mean—their fashion not being insured for tomorrow)—such Readers, -I say, know that a rose is called a ghul, and a nightingale a bulbul, -and that this is one way of dressing up English Poetry in Turkish -Costume. But if they desire to learn a little more of what Mahometan -customs are, they may consult D'Ohsson's _Tableau_ of the Ottoman -Empire, and there they may not only find the eight attitudes -described, but see them represented. Of the third attitude or _Rukeou_ -as it is denominated, I shall only say that the Ancients represented -one of their Deities in it, and that it is the very attitude in which -_As in præsenti_ committed that notorious act for which he is -celebrated in scholastic and immortal rhyme, and for which poor Syntax -bore the blame. _Verbum sit sat sapienti._ During the reign of Liberty -and Equality, a Frenchman was guillotined for exemplifying it under -Marat's Monument in the _Place du Carousal_. - -The bird was brought, but young Daniel had not the strength of young -Gargantua; the goose, being prevented by William from drawing back, -prest forward; they were by the side of the brook and the boy by this -violent and unexpected movement was, as the French would say in the -politest and most delicate of all languages, _culbuté_, or in sailors' -English capsized into the water. The misfortune did not end there; for -falling with his forehead against a stone, he received a cut upon the -brow which left a scar as long as he lived. - -It was not necessary to prohibit a repetition of what William called -the _speriment_. Both had been sufficiently frightened; and William -never felt more pain of mind than on this occasion, when the Father -with a shake of the head, a look of displeasure and a low voice told -him he ought to have known better than to have put the lad upon such -pranks! - -The mishap however was not without its use. For in after life when -Daniel felt an inclination to do any thing which might better be left -undone, the recollection that he had _tried the goose_ served as a -salutary memento, and saved him perhaps sometimes from worse -consequences. - - - - -CHAPTER XIX. P. I. - -A CONVERSATION WITH MISS GRAVEAIRS. - -_Operi suscepto inserviendum fuit_; so Jacobus Mycillus pleadeth for -himself in his translation of Lucian's Dialogues, and so do I; I must -and will perform my task. - -BURTON. - - -“It does not signify, Miss Graveairs! you may flirt your fan, and -overcloud that white forehead with a frown; but I assure you the last -chapter could not be dispensed with. The Doctor used to relate the -story himself to his friends; and often alluded to it as the most -wholesome lesson he had ever received. My dear Miss Graveairs, let not -those intelligent eyes shoot forth in anger arrows which ought to be -reserved for other execution. You ought not to be displeased; ought -not, must not, can not, shall not!” - -“But you ought not to write such things, Mr. Author; really you ought -not. What can be more unpleasant than to be reading aloud, and come -unexpectedly upon something so strange that you know not whether to -proceed or make a full stop, nor where to look, nor what to do? It is -too bad of you, Sir, let me tell you! and if I come to any thing more -of the kind, I must discard the book. It is provoking enough to meet -with so much that one does not understand; but to meet with any thing -that one ought not to understand is worse. Sir, it is not to be -forgiven; and I tell you again that if I meet with any thing more of -the same kind I must discard the book.” - -“Nay, dear Miss Graveairs!” - -“I must Mr. Author; positively I must.” - -“Nay, dear Miss Graveairs! Banish Tristram Shandy! banish Smollett, -banish Fielding, banish Richardson! But for the Doctor,—sweet Doctor -Dove, kind Doctor Dove, true Doctor Dove, banish not him! Banish -Doctor Dove, and banish all the world!—Come, come, good sense is -getting the better of preciseness. That stitch in the forehead will -not long keep the brows in their constrained position; and the -incipient smile which already brings out that dimple, is the natural -and proper feeling.” - -“Well, you are a strange man!” - -“Call me a rare one, and I shall be satisfied. ‘O rare Ben Jonson’ you -know was epitaph enough for one of our greatest men.” - -“But seriously why should you put any thing in your book, which if not -actually exceptionable exposes it at least to that sort of censure, -which is most injurious?” - -“That question, dear Madam, is so sensibly proposed that I will answer -it with all serious sincerity. There is nothing exceptionable in these -volumes; ‘Certes,’ as Euphues Lily has said, ‘I think there be more -speeches here which for gravity will mislike the foolish, than -unseemly terms which for vanity, may offend the wise.’ There is -nothing in them that I might not have read to Queen Elizabeth if it -had been my fortune to have lived in her golden days; nothing that can -by possibility taint the imagination, or strengthen one evil -propensity, or weaken one virtuous principle. But they are not -composed like a forgotten novel of Dr. Towers's to be read aloud in -dissenting families instead of a moral essay, or a sermon; nor like -Mr. Kett's Emily to complete the education of young ladies by -supplying them with an abstract of universal knowledge. Neither have -they any pretensions to be placed on the same shelf with Cœlebs. But -the book is a moral book; its tendency is good, and the morality is -both the wholesomer and pleasanter because it is not administered as -physic, but given as food. I don't like morality in doses.” - -“But why, my good Mr. Author, why lay yourself open to censure?” - -“Miss Graveairs, nothing excellent was ever produced by any author who -had the fear of censure before his eyes. He who would please posterity -must please himself by chusing his own course. There are only two -classes of writers who dare do this, the best and the worst,—for this -is one of the many cases in which extremes meet. The mediocres in -every grade aim at pleasing the public, and conform themselves to the -fashion of their age whatever it may be.” - -My Doctor, like the Matthew Henderson of Burns, was a queer man, and -in that respect I his friend and biographer, humbly resemble him. The -resemblance may be natural, or I may have caught it,—this I pretend -not to decide, but so it is. Perhaps it might have been well if I had -resolved upon a farther designation of Chapters, and distributed them -into Masculine and Feminine; or into the threefold arrangement of -virile, feminile and puerile; considering the book as a family -breakfast, where there should be meat for men, muffins for women, and -milk for children. Or I might have adopted the device of the -Porteusian Society, and marked my Chapters as they (very usefully) -have done the Bible, pointing out what should be read by all persons -for edification, and what may be passed over by the many, as -instructive or intelligible only to the learned. - -Here however the book is,— - - An orchard bearing several trees, - And fruits of several taste.[1] - -Ladies and Gentlemen, my gentle Readers, one of our liveliest and most -popular old Dramatists knew so well the capricious humour of an -audience that he made his Prologue say - - He'd rather dress upon a Triumph-Day - My Lord Mayor's Feast, and make them sauces too, - Sauce for each several Mouth; nay further go, - He'd rather build up those invincible Pies - And Castle-Custards that affright all eyes,— - Nay, eat them all and their artillery,— - Than dress for such a curious company, - One single dish. - -But I, gentle Readers, have set before you a table liberally spread. -It is not expected or desired that every dish should suit the palate -of all the guests, but every guest will find something that he likes. -You, Madam, may prefer those boiled chicken, with stewed celery,—or a -little of that fricandeau;—the Lady opposite will send her plate for -some pigeon pye. The Doctor has an eye upon the venison—and so I see -has the Captain.—Sir, I have not forgotten that this is one of your -fast days—I am glad therefore that the turbot proves so good,—and that -dish has been prepared for you. Sir John, there is garlic in the -fricassee. The Hungarian wine has a bitterness which every body may -not like; the Ladies will probably prefer Malmsey. The Captain sticks -to his Port, and the Doctor to his Madeira.—Sir John I shall be happy -to take Sauterne with you.—There is a splendid trifle for the young -folks, which some of the elders also will not despise:—and I only wish -my garden could have furnished a better dessert; but considering our -climate, it is not amiss.—Is not this entertainment better than if I -had set you all down to a round of beef and turnips? - - If any thing be set to a wrong taste - 'Tis not the meat there, but the mouth's displaced; - Remove but that sick palate all is well.[2] - -[Footnote 1: MIDDLETON and ROWLEY'S Spanish Gipsey.] - -[Footnote 2: BEN JONSON.] - -Like such a dinner I would have my book,—something for every body's -taste and all good of its kind. - -It ought also to resemble the personage of whom it treats; and - - If ony whiggish whingin sot - To blame the Doctor dare, man; - May dool and sorrow be his lot - For the Doctor was a rare man![3] - -[Footnote 3: BURNS.] - -Some whiggish sots I dare say will blame him, and whiggish sots they -will be who do! - -“_En un mot; mes amis, je n'ai entrepris de vous contenter tous en -general, ainsi uns et autres en particulier; et par special, -moymême._”[4] - -[Footnote 4: PASQUIER.] - - - - -CHAPTER XX. P. I. - -HOW TO MAKE GOLD. - - _L' Alchimista non travaglia a voto; - Ei cerca l' oro, ei cerca l' oro, io dico - Ch' ei cerca l' oro; e s' ei giungesse in porto - Fora ben per se stesso e per altrui. - L' oro e somma posanza infra mortali; - Chiedine a Cavalier, chiedine a Dame, - Chiedine a tutto il Mondo._ - -CHIABRERA. - - -William had heard so much about experiments that it is not surprising -he should have been for making some himself. It was well indeed for -his family that the speculative mind, which lay covered rather than -concealed under the elder Daniel's ruminating manners, and quiet -contented course of life, was not quickened by his acquaintance with -the schoolmaster into an experimental and dangerous activity, instead -of being satisfied with theoretical dreams. For Guy had found a book -in that little collection which might have produced more serious -consequences to the father than the imitation of Gargantua had done to -the son. - -This book was the Exposition of Eirenæus Philalethes upon Sir George -Ripley's Hermetico-Poetical works. Daniel had formerly set as little -value upon it as upon Rabelais. He knew indeed what its purport was, -thus much he had gathered from it: but although it professed to -contain “the plainest and most excellent discoveries of the most -hidden secrets of the Ancient Philosophers that were ever yet -published,” it was to him as unintelligible as the mysteries of -Pantagruelism. He could make nothing of the work that was to ascend in -_Bus_ and _Nubi_ from the Moon up to the Sun, though the Expositor had -expounded that this was in _Nubibus_; nor of the Lake which was to be -boiled with the ashes of Hermes's Tree, night and day without ceasing, -till the Heavenly Nature should ascend and the Earthly descend: nor of -the Crow's bill, the White Dove, the Sparkling Cherubim, and the Soul -of the Green Lion. But he took those cautions simply and honestly as -cautions, which were in fact the lures whereby so many infatuated -persons had been drawn on to their own undoing. The author had said -that his work was not written for the information of the illiterate, -and illiterate Daniel knew himself to be. “Our writings,” says the -dark Expositor, “shall prove as a curious edged knife; to some they -shall carve out dainties, and to others it shall serve only to cut -their fingers. Yet we are not to be blamed; for we do seriously -profess to any that shall attempt the work, that he attempts the -highest piece of Philosophy that is in Nature; and though we write in -English, yet our matter will be as hard as Greek to some, who will -think they understand us well, when they misconstrue our meaning most -perversely; for is it imaginable that they who are fools in Nature -should be wise in our Books, which are testimonies unto Nature?” And -again, “make sure of thy true matter, which is no small thing to know; -and though we have named it yet we have done it so cunningly, that -thou mayest sooner stumble at our Books than at any thou ever didst -read in thy life.—Be not deceived either with receipt or discourse; -for we verily do not intend to deceive you; but if you will be -deceived, be deceived!—Our way which is an easy way, and in which no -man may err,—our broad way, our _linear_ way, we have vowed never to -reveal it but in metaphor. I, being moved with pity, will hint it to -you. Take that which is not yet perfect, nor yet wholly imperfect, but -in a way to perfection, and out of it make what is most noble and most -perfect. This you may conceive to be an easier receipt than to take -that which is already perfect and extract out of it what is imperfect -and make it perfect, and after out of that perfection to draw a -_plusquam_ perfection; and yet this is true, and we have wrought it. -But this last discovery which I hinted in few words is it which no man -ever did so plainly lay open; nor may any make it more plain upon pain -of an anathema.” - -All this was heathen Greek to Daniel, except the admonition which it -contained. But Guy had meddled with this perilous pseudo-science, and -used to talk with him concerning its theory, which Daniel soon -comprehended, and which like many other theories wanted nothing but a -foundation to rest upon. That every thing had its own seed as well as -its own form seemed a reasonable position; and that the fermental -virtue, “which is the wonder of the world, and by which water becomes -herbs, trees and plants, fruits, flesh, blood, stones, minerals and -every thing, works only in kind. Was it not then absurd to allow that -the fermentive and multiplicative power existed in almost all other -things, and yet deny it to Gold, the most perfect of all sublunary -things?”—The secret lay in extracting from Gold its hidden seed. - -Ben Jonson has with his wonted ability presented the theory of this -delusive art. His knavish Alchemist asks of an unbeliever - - Why, what have you observed Sir, in our art - Seems so impossible? - _Surly_. But your whole work, no more! - That you should hatch gold in a furnace, Sir, - As they do eggs in Egypt. - _Subtle_. Sir, do you - Believe that eggs are hatch'd so? - _Surly_. If I should? - _Subtle_. Why I think that the greater miracle. - No egg but differs from a chicken more - Than metals in themselves. - _Surly_. That cannot be. - The egg's ordained by nature to that end, - And is a chicken _in potentiâ_. - _Subtle_. The same we say of lead and other metals, - Which would be gold if they had time. - _Mammon_. And that - Our art doth further. - _Subtle_. Aye, for 'twere absurd - To think that nature in the earth bred gold - Perfect in the instant: something went before. - There must be remote matter. - _Surly_. Ay, what is that? - _Subtle_. Marry we say— - _Mammon_. Ay, now it heats; stand father; - Pound him to dust. - _Subtle_. It is, of the one part, - A humid exhalation, which we call - _Materia liquida_, or the unctuous water; - On the other part a certain crass and viscous - Portion of earth; both which concorporate - Do make the elementary matter of gold; - Which is not yet _propria materia_, - But common to all metals and all stones; - For where it is forsaken of that moisture, - And hath more dryness, it becomes a stone; - Where it retains more of the humid fatness, - It turns to sulphur, or to quicksilver, - Who are the parents of all other metals. - Nor can this remote matter suddenly - Progress so from extreme unto extreme, - As to grow gold, and leap o'er all the means. - Nature doth first beget the imperfect, then - Proceeds she to the perfect. Of that airy - And oily water, mercury is engendered; - Sulphur of the fat and earthy part; the one, - Which is the last, supplying the place of male, - The other of the female in all metals. - Some so believe hermaphrodeity, - That both do act and suffer. But these too - Make the rest ductile, malleable, extensive. - And even in gold they are; for we do find - Seeds of them, by our fire, and gold in them; - And can produce the species of each metal - More perfect thence than nature doth in earth. - -I have no cause to say here with Sheik Mohammed Ali Hazin that “taste -for poetical and elegant composition has turned the reins of my -ink-dropping pen away from the road which lay before it:” For this -passage of learned Ben lay directly in the way; and no where, Reader, -couldst thou find the theory of the Alchemists more ably epitomized. - -“Father,” said the boy Daniel one day, after listening to a -conversation upon this subject, “I should like to learn to make gold.” - -“And what wouldst thou do, Daniel, if thou couldst make it?” was the -reply. - -“Why I would build a great house, and fill it with books; and have as -much money as the King, and be as great a man as the Squire.” - -“Mayhap, Daniel, in that case thou wouldst care for books as little as -the Squire, and have as little time for them as the King. Learning is -better than house or land. As for money, enough is enough; no man can -enjoy more; and the less he can be contented with the wiser and better -he is likely to be. What, Daniel, does our good poet tell us in the -great verse-book? - - Nature's with little pleased; enough's a feast: - A sober life but a small charge requires: - But man, the author of his own unrest, - The more he hath, the more he still desires. - -No, boy, thou canst never be as rich as the King, nor as great as the -Squire; but thou mayest be a Philosopher, and that is being as happy -as either.” - -“A great deal happier,” said Guy. “The Squire is as far from being the -happiest man in the neighbourhood, as he is from being the wisest or -the best. And the King, God bless him! has care enough upon his head -to bring on early grey hairs. - - Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.” - -“But what does a Philosopher do?” rejoined the boy. “The Squire hunts -and shoots and smokes, and drinks punch and goes to Justice-Meetings. -And the King goes to fight for us against the French, and governs the -Parliament, and makes laws. But I cannot tell what a Philosopher's -business is. Do they do any thing else besides making Almanacks and -gold?” - -“Yes,” said William, “they read the stars.” - -“And what do they read there?” - -“What neither thou nor I can understand, Daniel,” replied the father, -“however nearly it may concern us!” - - - - -CHAPTER XXI. P. I. - -A DOUBT CONCERNING THE USES OF PHILOSOPHY. - - _El comienzo de salud - es el saber, - distinguir y conocer - qual es virtud._ - -PROVERBIOS DEL MARQUES DE SANTILLANA. - - -That grave reply produced a short pause. It was broken by the boy, who -said returning to the subject, “I have been thinking, Father, that it -is not a good thing to be a Philosopher.” - -“And what, my Son, has led thee to that thought?” - -“What I have read at the end of the Dictionary, Father. There was one -Philosopher that was pounded in a mortar.” - -“That Daniel,” said the Father, “could neither have been the -Philosopher's fault nor his choice.” - -“But it was because he was a Philosopher, my lad,” said Guy, “that he -bore it so bravely, and said, beat on, you can only bruise the shell -of Anaxarchus! If he had not been a Philosopher they might have -pounded him just the same, but they would never have put him in the -Dictionary. Epictetus in like manner bore the torments which his -wicked master inflicted upon him, without a groan, only saying, ‘take -care, or you will break my leg;’ and when the leg was broken, he -looked the wretch in the face and said, ‘I told you you would break -it.’” - -“But,” said the youngster, “there was one Philosopher who chose to -live in a tub; and another who that he might never again see any thing -to withdraw his mind from meditation, put out his eyes by looking upon -a bright brass basin, such as I cured my warts in.” - -“He might have been a wise man,” said William Dove, “but not wondrous -wise: for if he had, he would not have used the basin to put his eyes -out. He would have jumped into a quickset hedge, and scratched them -out, like the Man of our Town; because when he saw his eyes were out, -he might then have jumped into another hedge and scratched them in -again. The Man of our Town was the greatest philosopher of the two.” - -“And there was one,” continued the boy, “who had better have blinded -himself at once, for he did nothing else but cry at every thing he -saw. Was not this being very foolish?” - -“I am sure,” says William, “it was not being merry and wise.” - -“There was another who said that hunger was his daily food.” - -“He must have kept such a table as Duke Humphrey,” quoth William; “I -should not have liked to dine with him.” - -“Then there was Crates,” said the persevering boy; “he had a good -estate and sold it and threw the money into the sea, saying, ‘away ye -paltry cares! I will drown you, that you may not drown me.’” - -“I should like to know,” quoth William, “what the overseers said to -that chap, when he applied to the parish for support.” - -“They sent him off to Bedlam, I suppose,” said the Mother, “it was the -fit place for him, poor creature.” - -“And when Aristippus set out upon a journey he bade his servants throw -away all their money, that they might travel the better. Why they must -have begged their way, and it cannot be right to beg if people are not -brought to it by misfortune. And there were some who thought there was -no God. I am sure they were fools, for the Bible says so.” - -“Well Daniel,” said Guy, “thou hast studied the end of the Dictionary -to some purpose!” - -“And the Bible too, Master Guy!” said Dinah,—her countenance -brightening with joy at her son's concluding remark. - -“It's the best part of the book,” said the boy, replying to his -schoolmaster; “there are more entertaining and surprizing things there -than I ever read in any other place, except in my Father's book about -Pantagruel.” - - - - -CHAPTER XXII. P. I. - -Τὸν δ᾿ ἀπαμειβόμενος. - - _O felice colui, che intender puote - Le cagion de le cose di natura, - Che al piu di que' che vivon sono ignote; - E sotto it piè si mette ogni paura - De fati, e de la morte, ch'è si trista, - Ne di vulgo gli cal, nè d'altro ha cura._ - -TANSILLO. - - -The elder Daniel had listened to this dialogue in his usual quiet way, -smiling sometimes at his brother William's observations. He now -stroked his forehead, and looking mildly but seriously at the boy -addressed him thus. - -“My son, many things appear strange or silly in themselves if they are -presented to us simply, without any notice when and where they were -done, and upon what occasion. If any strangers for example had seen -thee washing thy hands in an empty basin, without knowing the -philosophy of the matter, they would have taken thee for an innocent, -and thy master and me for little better; or they might have supposed -some conjuring was going on. The things which the old Philosophers -said and did, would appear, I dare say, as wise to us as they did to -the people of their own times, if we knew why and in what -circumstances they were done and said. - -“Daniel, there are two sorts of men in all ranks and ways of life, the -wise and the foolish; and there are a great many degrees between them. -That some foolish people have called themselves Philosophers, and some -wicked ones, and some who were out of their wits, is just as certain -as that persons of all these descriptions are to be found among all -conditions of men. - -“Philosophy, Daniel, is of two kinds: that which relates to conduct, -and that which relates to knowledge. The first teaches us to value all -things at their real worth, to be contented with little, modest in -prosperity, patient in trouble, equal-minded at all times. It teaches -us our duty to our neighbour and ourselves. It is that wisdom of which -King Solomon speaks in our rhyme-book. Reach me the volume!” Then -turning to the passage in his favourite Du Bartas he read these lines: - - “She's God's own mirror; she's a light whose glance - Springs from the lightening of his countenance. - She's mildest heaven's most sacred influence; - Never decays her beauties' excellence, - Aye like herself; and she doth always trace - Not only the same path but the same pace. - Without her honor, health and wealth would prove - Three poisons to me. Wisdom from above - Is the only moderatrix, spring and guide - Organ and honor of all gifts beside.” - -“But let us look in the Bible:—aye this is the place. - -“For in her is an understanding spirit, holy, one only, manifold, -subtil, lively, clear, undefiled, plain, not subject to hurt, loving -the thing that is good, quick, which cannot be letted, ready to do -good; - -“Kind to man, steadfast, sure, free from care, having all power, -overseeing all things, and going through all understanding, pure and -most subtil spirits. - -“For wisdom is more moving than any motion: she passeth and goeth -through all things by reason of her pureness. - -“For she is the breath of the power of God, and a pure influence, -flowing from the glory of the Almighty; therefore can no defiled thing -fall into her. - -“For she is the brightness of the everlasting light, the unspotted -mirror of the power of God, and the image of his goodness. - -“And being but one she can do all things; and remaining in herself she -maketh all things new: and in all ages entering into holy souls she -maketh them friends of God, and prophets. - -“For God loveth none but him that dwelleth with wisdom. - -“For she is more beautiful than the Sun, and above all the order of -Stars: being compared with the light she is found before it. - -“For after this cometh night: but vice shall not prevail against -wisdom.” - -He read this with a solemnity that gave weight to every word. Then -closing the book, after a short pause, he proceeded in a lower tone. - -“The Philosophers of whom you have read in the Dictionary possessed -this wisdom only in part, because they were heathens, and therefore -could see no farther than the light of mere reason sufficed to shew -the way. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and they had -not that to begin with. So the thoughts which ought to have made them -humble produced pride, and so far their wisdom proved but folly. The -humblest Christian who learns his duty, and performs it as well as he -can, is wiser than they. He does nothing to be seen of men; and that -was their motive for most of their actions. - -“Now for the philosophy which relates to knowledge. Knowledge is a -brave thing. I am a plain, ignorant, untaught man, and know my -ignorance. But it is a brave thing when we look around us in this -wonderful world to understand something of what we see: to know -something of the earth on which we move, the air which we breathe, and -the elements whereof we are made: to comprehend the motions of the -moon and stars, and measure the distances between them, and compute -times and seasons: to observe the laws which sustain the universe by -keeping all things in their courses: to search into the mysteries of -nature, and discover the hidden virtue of plants and stones, and read -the signs and tokens which are shown us, and make out the meaning of -hidden things, and apply all this to the benefit of our fellow -creatures. - -“Wisdom and knowledge, Daniel, make the difference between man and -man, and that between man and beast is hardly greater. - -“These things do not always go together. There may be wisdom without -knowledge, and there may be knowledge without wisdom. A man without -knowledge, if he walk humbly with his God, and live in charity with -his neighbours, may be wise unto salvation. A man without wisdom may -not find his knowledge avail him quite so well. But it is he who -possesses both that is the true Philosopher. The more he knows, the -more he is desirous of knowing; and yet the farther he advances in -knowledge the better he understands how little he can attain, and the -more deeply he feels that God alone can satisfy the infinite desires -of an immortal soul. To understand this is the height and perfection -of philosophy.” - -Then opening the Bible which lay before him, he read these verses from -the Proverbs. - -“My son, if thou wilt receive my words,— - -“So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom and apply thine heart to -understanding; - -“Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for -understanding; - -“If thou seekest after her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid -treasures; - -“Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord and find the -knowledge of God. - -“For the Lord giveth wisdom; out of His mouth cometh knowledge and -understanding. - -“He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous; He is a buckler to them -that walk uprightly. - -“He keepeth the paths of judgement and preserveth the way of his -Saints. - -“Then shalt thou understand righteousness and judgement and equity; -yea, every good path. - -“When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto -thy soul; - -“Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee, - -“To deliver thee from the way of the evil. - -“Daniel, my son,” after a pause he pursued, “thou art a diligent good -lad. God hath given thee a tender and a dutiful heart; keep it so, and -it will be a wise one, for thou hast the beginning of wisdom. I wish -thee to pursue knowledge, because in pursuing it happiness will be -found by the way. If I have said any thing now which is above thy -years, it will come to mind in after time, when I am gone perhaps, but -when thou mayest profit by it. God bless thee, my child!” - -He stretched out his right hand at these words, and laid it gently -upon the boy's head. What he said was not forgotten, and throughout -life the son never thought of that blessing without feeling that it -had taken effect. - - - - -CHAPTER XXIII. P. I. - -ROWLAND DIXON AND HIS COMPANY OF PUPPETS. - - _Alli se ve tan eficaz el llanto, - las fabulas y historias retratadas, - que parece verdad, y es dulce encanto._ - - * * * * * - - _Y para el vulgo rudo, que ignorante - aborrece el manjar costoso, guisa - el plato del gracioso extravagante;_ - - _Con que les hartas de contento y risa, - gustando de mirar sayal grossero, - mas que sutil y candida camisa._ - -JOSEPH ORTIZ DE VILLENA. - - -Were it not for that happy facility with which the mind in such cases -commonly satisfies itself, my readers would find it not more easy to -place themselves in imagination at Ingleton a hundred years ago, than -at Thebes or Athens, so strange must it appear to them that a family -should have existed in humble but easy circumstances, among whose -articles of consumption neither tea nor sugar had a place, who never -raised potatoes in their garden nor saw them at their table, and who -never wore a cotton garment of any kind. - -Equally unlike any thing to which my contemporaries have been -accustomed, must it be for them to hear of an Englishman whose talk -was of philosophy moral or speculative not of politics; who read books -in folio and had never seen a newspaper; nor ever heard of a magazine, -review, or literary journal of any kind. Not less strange must it seem -to them who if they please may travel by steam at the rate of thirty -miles an hour upon the Liverpool and Manchester rail-way, or at ten -miles an hour by stage upon any of the more frequented roads, to -consider the little intercourse which in those days was carried on -between one part of the kingdom and another. During young Daniel's -boyhood, and for many years after he had reached the age of manhood, -the whole carriage of the northern counties, and indeed of all the -remoter parts was performed by pack-horses, the very name of which -would long since have been as obsolete as their use, if it had not -been preserved by the sign or appellation of some of those inns at -which they were accustomed to put up. Rarely indeed were the roads -about Ingleton marked by any other wheels than those of its indigenous -carts. - -That little town however obtained considerable celebrity in those days -as being the home and head quarters of Rowland Dixon, the Gesticulator -Maximus, or Puppet-show-master-general, of the North; a person not -less eminent in his line than Powel whom the Spectator has -immortalized. - -My readers must not form their notion of Rowland Dixon's company from -the ambulatory puppet shows which of late years have added new sights -and sounds to the spectacles and cries of London. Far be it from me to -depreciate those peripatetic street exhibitions, which you may have -before your window at a call, and by which the hearts of so many -children are continually delighted: Nay I confess that few things in -that great city carry so much comfort to the cockles of my own, as the -well-known voice of Punch. - - ——the same which in my school-boy days - I listened to,—— - -as Wordsworth says of the Cuckoo, - - And I can listen to it yet— - And listen till I do beget - That golden time again. - -It is a voice that seems to be as much in accord with the noise of -towns, and the riotry of fairs, as the note of the Cuckoo, with the -joyousness of spring fields and the fresh verdure of the vernal woods. - -But Rowland Dixon's company of puppets would be pitifully disparaged, -if their size, uses or importance were to be estimated by the street -performances of the present day. - -The Dramatis Personæ of these modern exhibitions never I believe -comprehends more than four characters, and these four are generally -the same, to wit, Punch, Judy as she who used to be called Joan is now -denominated, the Devil and the Doctor, or sometimes the Constable in -the Doctor's stead. There is therefore as little variety in the action -as in the personages. And their dimensions are such that the whole -company and the theatre in which they are exhibited are carried along -the streets at quick time and with a light step by the two persons who -manage the concern. - -But the Rowlandian, Dixonian, or Ingletonian puppets were large as -life; and required for their removal a caravan (in the use to which -that word is now appropriated),—a vehicle of such magnitude and -questionable shape, that if Don Quixote had encountered its like upon -the highway, he would have regarded it as the most formidable -adventure which had ever been presented to his valour. And they went -as far beyond our street-puppets in the sphere of their subjects as -they exceeded them in size; for in that sphere _quicquid agunt -homines_ was included,—and a great deal more. - -In no country and in no stage of society has the drama ever existed in -a ruder state than that in which this company presented it. The Drolls -of Bartholomew Fair were hardly so far below the legitimate drama, as -they were above that of Rowland Dixon; for the Drolls were written -compositions: much ribaldry might be, and no doubt was, interpolated -as opportunity allowed or invited; but the main dialogue was prepared. -Here on the contrary, there was no other preparation than that of -frequent practice. The stock pieces were founded upon popular stories -or ballads, such as Fair Rosamond, Jane Shore, and Bateman who hanged -himself for love; with scriptural subjects for Easter and -Whitsun-week, such as the Creation, the Deluge, Susannah and the -Elders, and Nebuchadnezzar or the Fall of Pride. These had been handed -down from the time of the old mysteries and miracle-plays, having, in -the progress of time and change, descended from the monks and clergy -to become the property of such managers as Powel and Rowland Dixon. In -what manner they were represented when thus - - Fallen, fallen, fallen, fallen, - Fallen from their high estate, - -may be imagined from a play-bill of Queen Anne's reign, in which one -of them is thus advertised: - -“At Crawley's Booth, over against the Crown Tavern in Smithfield, -during the time of Bartholomew Fair, will be presented a little Opera, -called the Old Creation of the World, yet newly revived; with the -addition of Noah's flood. Also several fountains playing water during -the time of the play. The last scene does present Noah and his family -coming out of the Ark, with all the beasts two and two, and all the -fowls of the air seen in a prospect sitting upon trees. Likewise over -the Ark is seen the Sun rising in a most glorious manner. Moreover a -multitude of Angels will be seen in a double rank, which presents a -double prospect, one for the Sun, the other for a palace, where will -be seen six Angels, ringing of bells. Likewise machines descend from -above double and treble, with Dives rising out of Hell, and Lazarus -seen in Abraham's bosom; besides several figures dancing jigs, -sarabands and country dances, to the admiration of the spectators; -with the merry conceits of Squire Punch, and Sir John Spendall.” - -I have not found it any where stated at what time these irreverent -representations were discontinued in England, nor whether (which is -not unlikely) they were put an end to by the interference of the -magistrates. The _Autos Sacramentales_, which form the most -characteristic department of the Spanish drama, were prohibited at -Madrid in 1763, at the instance of the Conde de Teba, then Archbishop -of Toledo, chiefly because of the profaneness of the actors, and the -indecency of the places in which they were represented: it seems -therefore that if they had been performed by clerks, and within -consecrated precincts, he would not have objected to them. The -religious dramas, though they are not less extraordinary and far more -reprehensible, because in many instances nothing can be more -pernicious than their direct tendency, were not included in the same -prohibition; the same marks of external reverence not being required -for Saints and Images as for the great object of Romish Idolatry. -These probably will long continue to delight the Spanish people. But -facts of the same kind may be met with nearer home. So recently as the -year 1816, the Sacrifice of Isaac was represented on the stage at -Paris: Samson was the subject of the ballet; the unshorn son of Manoah -delighted the spectators by dancing a solo with the gates of Gaza on -his back; Dalilah clipt him during the intervals of a jig; and the -Philistines surrounded and captured him in a country dance! - -That Punch made his appearance in the puppet-show of the Deluge, most -persons know; his exclamation of “hazy weather, master Noah,” having -been preserved by tradition. In all of these wooden dramas whether -sacred or profane, Punch indeed bore a part, and that part is well -described in the verses entitled _Pupæ gesticulantes_, which may be -found among the _Selecta Poemata Anglorum Latina_, edited by Mr. -Popham. - - _Ecce tamen subitò, et medio discrimine rerum, - Ridiculus vultu procedit Homuncio, tergum - Cui riget in gibbum, immensusque protruditur alvus: - PUNCHIUS huic nomen, nec erat petulantior unquam - Ullus; quinetiam media inter seria semper - Importunus adest, lepidusque et garrulus usque - Perstat, permiscetque jocos, atque omnia turbat. - Sæpe puellarum densa ad subsellia sese - Convertens,—sedet en! pulchras mea, dixit, amica - Illic inter eas! Oculo simul improbus uno - Connivens, aliquam illarum quasi noverat, ipsam - Quæque pudens se signari pudefacta rubescit; - Totaque subridet juvenumque virumque corona. - Cum vero ambiguis obscœnas turpia dictis - Innuit, effuso testantur gaudia risu._ - -In one particular only this description is unlike the Punch of the -Ingleton Company. He was not an _homuncio_, but a full grown -personage, who had succeeded with little alteration either of -attributes or appearance to the Vice of the old Mysteries, and served -like the Clown of our own early stage, and the _Gracioso_ of the -Spaniards, to scatter mirth over the serious part of the performance, -or turn it into ridicule. The wife was an appendage of later times, -when it was not thought good for Punch to be alone; and when as these -performances had fallen into lower hands, the quarrels between such a -pair afforded a standing subject equally adapted to the capacity of -the interlocutor and of his audience. - -A tragic part was assigned to Punch in one of Rowland Dixon's pieces, -and that one of the most popular, being the celebrated tragedy of Jane -Shore. The Beadle in this piece, after proclaiming in obvious and -opprobrious rhyme the offence which had drawn upon Mistress Shore this -public punishment, prohibited all persons from relieving her on pain -of death, and turned her out, according to the common story, to die of -hunger in the streets. The only person who ventured to disobey this -prohibition was Punch the Baker; and the reader may judge of the -dialogue of these pieces by this Baker's words, when he stole behind -her, and nudging her furtively while he spake, offered her a loaf, -saying, “_tak it Jenny, tak it!_” for which act so little consonant -with his general character, Punch died a martyr to humanity by the -hangman's hands. - -Dr. Dove used to say he doubted whether Garrick and Mrs. Cibber could -have affected him more in middle life, than he had been moved by Punch -the Baker and this wooden Jane Shore in his boyhood. For rude as were -these performances, (and nothing could possibly be ruder,) the effect -on infant minds was prodigious, from the accompanying sense of wonder, -an emotion which of all others is at that time of life the most -delightful. Here was miracle in any quantity to be seen for two-pence, -and be believed in for nothing. No matter how confined the theatre, -how coarse and inartificial the scenery, or how miserable the -properties; the mind supplied all that was wanting. - -“Mr. Guy,” said young Daniel to the schoolmaster, after one of these -performances, “I wish Rowland Dixon could perform one of our Latin -dialogues!” - -“Aye Daniel,” replied the schoolmaster, entering into the boy's -feelings; “it would be a grand thing to have the Three Fatal Sisters -introduced, and to have them send for Death; and then for Death to -summon the Pope and jugulate him; and invite the Emperor and the King -to dance; and disarm the soldier, and pass sentence upon the Judge; -and stop the Lawyer's tongue; and feel the Physician's pulse; and make -the Cook come to be killed; and send the Poet to the shades; and give -the Drunkard his last draught. And then to have Rhadamanthus come in -and try them all! Methinks Daniel that would beat Jane Shore and Fair -Rosamond all to nothing, and would be as good as a sermon to boot.” - -“I believe it would indeed!” said the Boy: “and then to see MORS and -NATURA; and have DAMNATUS called up; and the Three Cacodæmons at -supper upon the sirloin of a King, and the roasted Doctor of Divinity, -and the cruel Schoolmaster's rump! Would not it be nice Mr. Guy?” - -“The pity is, Daniel,” replied Guy, “that Rowland Dixon is no Latiner, -any more than those who go to see his performances.” - -“But could not you put it into English for him, Mr. Guy?” - -“I am afraid Daniel, Rowland Dixon would not thank me for my pains. -Besides I could never make it sound half so noble in English as in -those grand Latin verses, which fill the mouth and the ears, and the -mind,—aye and the heart and soul too. No, boy! schools are the proper -places for representing such pieces, and if I had but Latiners enough -we would have them ourselves. But there are not many houses, my good -Daniel, in which learning is held in such esteem as it is at thy -father's; if there were, I should have more Latin scholars;—and what -is of far more consequence, the world would be wiser and better than -it is!” - - - - -CHAPTER XXIV. P. I. - -QUACK AND NO QUACK, BEING AN ACCOUNT OF DR. GREEN AND HIS MAN KEMP. -POPULAR MEDICINE, HERBARY, THEORY OF SIGNATURES, WILLIAM DOVE, JOHN -WESLEY, AND BAXTER. - - Hold thy hand! health's dear maintainer; - Life perchance may burn the stronger: - Having substance to maintain her - She untouched may last the longer. - When the Artist goes about - To redress her flame, I doubt - Oftentimes he snuffs it out. - -QUARLES. - - -It was not often that Rowland Dixon exhibited at Ingleton. He took his -regular circuits to the fairs in all the surrounding country far and -wide; but in the intervals of his vocation, he, who when abroad was -the servant of the public, became his own master at home. His puppets -were laid up in ordinary, the voice of Punch ceased, and the master of -the motions enjoyed _otium cum dignitate_. When he favoured his -friends and neighbours with an exhibition, it was _speciali gratiâ_, -and in a way that rather enhanced that dignity than derogated from it. - -A performer of a very different kind used in those days to visit -Ingleton in his rounds, where his arrival was always expected by some -of the community with great anxiety. This was a certain Dr. Green, who -having been regularly educated for the profession of medicine, and -regularly graduated in it, chose to practice as an itinerant, and take -the field with a Merry Andrew for his aid-de-camp. He was of a -respectable and wealthy family in the neighbourhood of Doncaster, -which neighbourhood on their account he never approached in his -professional circuits, though for himself he was far from being -ashamed of the character that he had assumed. The course which he had -taken had been deliberately chosen, with the twofold object of -gratifying his own humour, and making a fortune; and in the remoter as -well as in the immediate purpose, he succeeded to his heart's content. - -It is not often that so much worldly prudence is found connected with -so much eccentricity of character. A French poetess, Madame de -Villedieu, taking as a text for some verses the liberal maxim _que la -vertu dépend autant du temperament que des loix_, says, - - _Presque toujours chacun suit son caprice; - Heureux est le mortel que les destins amis - Ont partagé d'un caprice permis._ - -He is indeed a fortunate man who if he _must_ have a hobby-horse, -which is the same as saying if he _will_ have one, keeps it not merely -for pleasure, but for use, breaks it in well, has it entirely under -command, and gets as much work out of it as he could have done out of -a common roadster. Dr. Green did this; he had not taken to this -strange course because he was impatient of the restraints of society, -but because he fancied that his constitution both of body and of mind -required an erratic life; and that, within certain bounds which he -prescribed for himself, he might indulge in it, both to his own -advantage, and that of the community,—that part of the community at -least among whom it would be his lot to labour. Our laws had provided -itinerant Courts of Justice for the people. Our church had formerly -provided itinerant preachers; and after the Reformation when the -Mendicant Orders were abolished by whom this service used to be -performed, such preachers have never failed to appear during the -prevalence of any religious influenza. Dr. Green thought that -itinerant physicians were wanted; and that if practitioners regularly -educated and well qualified would condescend to such a course, the -poor ignorant people would no longer be cheated by travelling quacks, -and sometimes poisoned by them! - -One of the most reprehensible arts to which the Reformers resorted in -their hatred of popery, was that of adapting vulgar verses to church -tunes, and thus associating with ludicrous images, or with something -worse, melodies which had formerly been held sacred. It is related of -Whitefield that he, making a better use of the same device, fitted -hymns to certain popular airs, because, he said, “there was no reason -why the Devil should keep all the good tunes to himself.” Green acted -upon a similar principle when he took the field as a Physician Errant, -with his man Kemp, like another Sancho for his Squire. But the Doctor -was no Quixote; and his Merry Andrew had all Sancho's shrewdness, -without any alloy of his simpleness. - -In those times medical knowledge among the lower practitioners was at -the lowest point. Except in large towns the people usually trusted to -domestic medicine, which some Lady Bountiful administered from her -family receipt book; or to a Village Doctress whose prescriptions were -as likely sometimes to be dangerously active, as at others to be -ridiculous and inert. But while they held to their garden physic it -was seldom that any injury was done either by exhibiting wrong -medicines or violent ones. - - Herbs, Woods and Springs, the power that in you lies - If mortal man could know your properties![1] - -There was at one time abundant faith in those properties. The holy -Shepherdess in Fletcher's fine pastoral drama, which so infinitely -surpasses all foreign compositions of that class, thus apostrophises -the herbs which she goes out to cull: - - O you best sons of earth, - You only brood unto whose happy birth - Virtue was given, holding more of Nature - Than man, her first-born and most perfect creature,— - Let me adore you, you that only can - Help or kill Nature, drawing out that span - Of life and breath even to the end of time! - -So abundantly was the English garden stocked in the age of the Tudors, -that Tusser, after enumerating in an Appendix to one of his Chapters -two and forty herbs for the kitchen, fourteen others for sallads or -sauces, eleven to boil or butter, seventeen as strewing herbs, and -forty “herbs branches and flowers for windows and pots,” adds a list -of seventeen herbs “to still in summer,” and of five and twenty -“necessary herbs to grow in the garden for physic, not rehearsed -before;” and after all advises his readers to seek more in the fields. -He says, - - The nature of Flowers dame Physic doth shew; - She teacheth them all to be known to a few. - -Elsewhere he observes that - - The knowledge of stilling is one pretty feat, - The waters be wholesome, the charges not great. - -[Footnote 1: FLETCHER.] - -In a comedy of Lord Digby's, written more than a hundred years after -Tusser's didactics, one of the scenes is laid in a lady's laboratory, -“with a fountain in it, some stills, and many shelves, with pots of -porcelain and glasses;” and when the lady wishes to keep her attendant -out of the way, she sends her there, saying - - I have a task to give you,——carefully - To shift the oils in the perfuming room, - As in the several ranges you shall see - The old begin to wither. To do it well - Will take you up some hours, but 'tis a work - I oft perform myself. - -And Tusser among “the Points of Housewifery united to the Comfort of -Husbandry,” includes good housewifely physic, as inculcated in these -rhymes; - - Good houswife provides ere an sickness do come, - Of sundry good things in her house to have some; - Good _aqua composita_, and vinegar tart, - Rose water, and treacle to comfort the heart; - Cold herbs in her garden for agues that burn, - That over-strong heat to good temper may turn; - White endive, and succory, with spinage enow, - All such with good pot-herbs should follow the plough. - Get water of fumitory liver to cool, - And others the like, or else go like a fool; - Conserves of barberry, quinces and such, - With syrups that easeth the sickly so much. - -Old Gervase Markham in his “Approved Book called the English -Housewife, containing the inward and outward virtues which ought to be -in a complete woman,” places her skill in physic as one of the most -principal; “you shall understand,” he says, “that sith the -preservation and care of the family touching their health and -soundness of body consisteth most in her diligence, it is meet that -she have a physical kind of knowledge, how to administer any wholesome -receipts or medicines for the good of their healths, as well to -prevent the first occasion of sickness, as to take away the effects -and evil of the same, when it hath made seizure upon the body.” And -“as it must be confessed that the depths and secrets of this most -excellent art of physic, are far beyond the capacity of the most -skilful woman,” he relates for the Housewife's use some “approved -medecines and old doctrines, gathered together by two excellent and -famous physicians, and in a manuscript given to a great worthy -Countess of this land.” - -The receipts collected in this and other books for domestic practice -are some of them so hyper-composite that even Tusser's garden could -hardly supply all the indigenous ingredients; others are of the most -fantastic kind, and for the most part they were as troublesome in -preparation, and many of them as disgusting, as they were futile. That -“Sovereign Water” which was invented by Dr. Stephens was composed of -almost all known spices, and all savoury and odorous herbs, distilled -in claret. With this Dr. Stephens “preserved his own life until such -extreme old age that he could neither go nor ride; and he did continue -his life, being bed-rid five years, when other physicians did judge he -could not live one year; and he confessed a little before his death, -that if he were sick at any time, he never used any thing but this -water only. And also the Archbishop of Canterbury used it, and found -such goodness in it that he lived till he was not able to drink out of -a cup, but sucked his drink through a hollow pipe of silver.” - -Twenty-nine plants were used in the composition of Dr. Adrian -Gilbert's most sovereign Cordial Water, besides hartshorn, figs, -raisins, gillyflowers, cowslips, marygolds, blue violets, red -rose-buds, ambergris, bezoar-stone, sugar, aniseed, liquorice, and to -crown all, “what else you please.” But then it was sovereign against -all fevers; and one who in time of plague should take two spoonsfull -of it in good beer, or white wine, “he might walk safely from danger, -by the leave of God.”—The Water of Life was distilled from nearly as -many ingredients, to which were added a fleshy running capon, the -loins and legs of an old coney, the red flesh of the sinews of a leg -of mutton, four young chickens, twelve larks, the yolks of twelve -eggs, and a loaf of white bread, all to be distilled in white wine. - -For consumption, there were pills in which powder of pearls, of white -amber and of coral, were the potential ingredients; there was -cockwater, the cock being to be chased and beaten before he was -killed, or else plucked alive! and there was a special water procured -by distillation, from a peck of garden shell-snails and a quart of -earth worms, besides other things; this was prescribed not for -consumption alone, but for dropsy and all obstructions. For all -faintness, hot agues, heavy fantasies and imaginations, a cordial was -prepared in tabulates, which were called _Manus Christi_: the true -receipt required one ounce of prepared pearls to twelve of fine sugar, -boiled with rose water, violet water, cinnamon water, “or howsoever -one would have them.” But apothecaries seldom used more than a drachm -of pearls to a pound of sugar, because men would not go to the cost -thereof; and the _Manus Christi simplex_ was made without any pearl at -all. For broken bones, bones out of joint, or any grief in the bones -or sinews, oil of swallows was pronounced exceeding sovereign, and -this was to be procured by pounding twenty live swallows in a mortar -with about as many different herbs! A mole, male or female according -to the sex of the patient, was to be dried in an oven whole as taken -out of the earth, and administered in powder for the falling evil. A -grey eel with a white belly was to be closed in an earthen pot, and -buried alive in a dunghill, and at the end of a fortnight its oil -might be collected to “help hearing.” A mixture of rose leaves and -pigeon's dung quilted in a bag, and laid hot upon the parts affected, -was thought to help a stitch in the side; and for a quinsey, “give the -party to drink,” says Markham, “the herb mouse-ear, steept in ale or -beer; and look when you see a swine rub himself, and there upon the -same place rub a slick-stone, and then with it slick all the swelling, -and it will cure it.” - -To make hair grow on a bald part of the head, garden snails were to be -plucked out of their houses, and pounded with horse-leaches, bees, -wasps and salt, an equal quantity of each; and the baldness was to be -anointed with the moisture from this mixture after it had been buried -eight days in a hot bed. For the removal and extirpation of -superfluous hairs, a depilatory was to be made by drowning in a pint -of wine as many green frogs as it would cover, (about twenty was the -number,) setting the pot forty days in the sun, and then straining it -for use. - -A water specially good against gravel or dropsy might be distilled -from the dried and pulverized blood of a black buck or he-goat, three -or four years old. The animal was to be kept by himself, in the summer -time when the sun was in Leo, and dieted for three weeks upon certain -herbs given in prescribed order, and to drink nothing but red wine, if -you would have the best preparation, though some persons allowed him -his fill of water every third day. But there was a water of mans blood -which in Queen Elizabeth's days was a new invention, “whereof some -princes had very great estimation, and used it for to remain thereby -in their force, and, as they thought, to live long.” A strong man was -to be chosen, in his flourishing youth, and of twenty-five years, and -somewhat choleric by nature. He was to be well dieted for one month -with light and healthy meats, and with all kinds of spices, and with -good strong wine, and moreover to be kept with mirth; at the month's -end veins in both arms were to be opened, and as much blood to be let -out as he could “tolerate and abide.” One handful of salt was to be -added to six pounds of this blood, and this was to be seven times -distilled, pouring the water upon the residuum after every -distillation, till the last. This was to be taken three or four times -a year, an ounce at a time. One has sight of a theory here; the life -was thought to be in the blood, and to be made transferable when thus -extracted. - -Richard Brathwait, more famous since Mr. Haslewood has identified him -with Drunken Barnaby, than as author of “the English Gentleman and the -English Gentlewoman, presented to present times for ornaments, and -commended to posterity for precedents,” says of this Gentlewoman, -“herbals she peruseth, which she seconds with conference; and by -degrees so improves her knowledge, as her cautelous care perfits many -a dangerous cure.” But herbals were not better guides than the medical -books of which specimens have just been set before the reader, except -that they did not lead the practitioner so widely and perilously -astray. “Had Solomon,” says the author of Adam in Eden, or the -Paradise of Plants, “that great proficient in all sublunary -experiments, preserved those many volumes that he wrote in this kind, -for the instruction of future ages, so great was that spaciousness of -mind that God had bestowed on him, that he had immediately under the -Deity been the greatest of Doctors for the preservation of mankind: -but with the loss of his books so much lamented by the Rabbins and -others, the best part of this herbarary art hath since groaned under -the defects of many unworthy authors, and still remains under divers -clouds and imperfections.” This writer, “the ingeniously learned and -excellent Herbarist Mr. William Coles,” professing as near as possible -to acquaint all sorts of people with the very pith and marrow of -herbarism, arranges his work according to the anatomical application -of plants, “appropriating,” says he, “to every part of the body, (from -the crown of the head, with which I begin, and proceed till I come to -the sole of the foot,) such herbs and plants whose grand uses and -virtues do most specifically, and by signature thereunto belong, not -only for strengthening the same, but also for curing the evil effects -whereunto they are subjected:—the signatures being as it were the -books out of which the ancients first learned the virtues of herbs; -Nature, or rather the God of Nature, having stamped on divers of them -legible characters to discover their uses, though he hath left others -without any, that after he had shewed them the way, they, by their -labour and industry which renders every thing more acceptable, might -find out the rest.” It was an opinion often expressed by a physician -of great and deserved celebrity, that in course of time specifics -would be discovered for every malady to which the human frame is -liable. He never supposed, (though few men have ever been more -sanguine in their hopes and expectations,) that life was thus to be -indefinitely prolonged, and that it would be man's own fault, or his -own choice, if he did not live for ever; but he thought that when we -should thus have been taught to subdue those diseases which cut our -life short, we should, like the Patriarchs, live out the number of our -days, and then fall asleep,—Man being by this physical redemption -restored to his original corporeal state. - - Then shall like four straight pillars, the four Elements - Support the goodly structure of Mortality: - Then shall the four Complexions, like four heads - Of a clear river, streaming in his body, - Nourish and comfort every vein and sinew: - No sickness of contagion, no grim death, - Or deprivation of health's real blessings, - Shall then affright the creature, built by Heaven, - Reserved for immortality.[2] - -[Footnote 2: FORD.] - -He had not taken up this notion from any religious feeling; it was -connected in him with the pride of philosophy, and he expected that -this was one of the blessings which we were to obtain in the progress -of knowledge. - -Some specific remedies being known to exist, it is indeed reasonable -to suppose that others will be found. Old theorists went farther; and -in a world which everywhere bears such undeniable evidences of design -in every thing, few theories should seem more likely to be favourably -received than the one which supposed that every healing plant bears, -in some part of its structure, the type or signature of its peculiar -virtues: now this could in no other way be so obviously marked, as by -a resemblance to that part of the human frame for which its remedial -uses were intended. There is a fable indeed which says that he who may -be so fortunate as to taste the blood of a certain unknown animal -would be enabled thereby to hear the voice of plants and understand -their speech; and if he were on a mountain at sunrise, he might hear -the herbs which grow there, when freshened with the dews of night they -open themselves to the beams of the morning, return thanks to the -Creator for the virtues with which he has indued them, each specifying -what those virtues were, _le quali veramente son tante e tali che -beati i pastori che quelle capessero_. A botanical writer who -flourished a little before the theory of signatures was started -complains that herbal medicine had fallen into disuse; he says, -“_antequam chemia patrum nostrorum memoriâ orbi restitueretur, -contenti vivebant ὅι τῶν ἰατρῶν κομψὸι και χαριὲστατοι pharmacis ex -vegetabilium regno accersitis parum solliciti de Solis sulphure et -oleo, de Lunæ sale et essentiâ, de Saturni saccaro, de Martis tincturâ -et croco, de vitriolo Veneris, de Mercurio præcipitato, et Antimonii -floribus, de Sulphuris spiritu et Tartari crystallis: nihilominus -masculè debellabant morbos, et tutè et jucundè. Nunc sæculi nostri -infelicitas est, quod vegetabilibus contemptim habitis, plerique nihil -aliud spirant præter metallica ista, et extis parata horribilia -secreta._”[3] The new theory came in timely aid of the Galenists; it -connected their practice with a doctrine hardly less mysterious than -those of the Paracelsists, but more plausible because it seemed -immediately intelligible, and had a natural religious feeling to -strengthen and support it. - -[Footnote 3: Petri Laurembergii Rostochiensis Horticultura—Præloquium, -p. 10.] - -The Author of Adam in Eden refers to Oswald Crollius as “the great -discoverer of signatures,” and no doubt has drawn from him, most of -his remarks upon this theory of physical correspondence. The -resemblance is in some cases very obvious; but in many more the -Swedenborgian correspondences are not more fantastic; and where the -resemblances exist the inference is purely theoretical. - -Walnuts are said to have the perfect signature of the head; the outer -husks or green covering represents the _pericranium_, or outward skin -of the skull, whereon the hair groweth,—and therefore salt made of -those husks is exceeding good for wounds in the head. The inner woody -shell hath the signature of the skull, and the little yellow skin or -peel, that of the _dura_ and _pia mater_ which are the thin scarfs -that envelope the brain. The kernel hath “the very figure of the -brain, and therefore it is very profitable for the brain and resists -poisons.” So too the Piony, being not yet blown, was thought to have -“some signature and proportion with the head of man, having sutures -and little veins dispersed up and down, like unto those which environ -the brain: when the flowers blow they open an outward little skin -representing the skull:” the piony therefore besides its other virtues -was very available against the falling sickness. Poppy heads with -their crowns somewhat represent the head and brain, and therefore -decoctions of them were used with good success in several diseases of -the head. And Lillies of the Valley, which in Coles's days grew -plentifully upon Hampstead-heath, were known by signature to cure the -apoplexy; “for as that disease is caused by the dropping of humours -into the principal ventricles of the brain, so the flowers of this -lilly hanging on the plants as if they were drops, are of wonderful -use herein.” - -All capillary herbs were of course sovereign in diseases of the hair; -and because the purple and yellow spots and stripes upon the flowers -of Eyebright very much resemble the appearance of diseased eyes, it -was found out by that signature that this herb was very effectual “for -curing of the same.” The small Stone-crop hath the signature of the -gums, and is therefore good for scurvy. The exquisite Crollius -observed that the woody scales of which the cones of the pine tree are -composed, resemble the fore teeth; and therefore pine leaves boiled in -vinegar make a gargle which relieves the tooth-ache. The Pomegranate -has a like virtue for a like reason. Thistles and Holly leaves signify -by their prickles that they are excellent for pleurisy and stiches in -the side. Saxifrage manifesteth in its growth its power of breaking -the stone. It had been found experimentally that all roots, barks and -flowers which were yellow, cured the yellow jaundice; and though -Kidney beans as yet were only used for food, yet having so perfect a -signature, practitioners in physic were exhorted to take it into -consideration and try whether there were not in this plant some -excellent faculty to cure nephritic diseases. In pursuing this -fantastic system examples might be shown of that mischief, which, -though it may long remain latent, never fails at some time or other to -manifest itself as inherent in all error and falsehood. - -When the mistresses of families grounded their practice of physic upon -such systems of herbary, or took it from books which contained -prescriptions like those before adduced, (few being either more simple -or more rational,) Dr. Green might well argue that when he mounted his -hobby and rode out seeking adventures as a Physician-Errant, he went -forth for the benefit of his fellow creatures. The guidance of such -works, or of their own traditional receipts, the people in fact then -generally followed. Burton tells us that Paulus Jovius in his -description of Britain, and Levinus Lemnius have observed, of this our -island, how there was of old no use of physic amongst us, and but -little at this day, except he says “it be for a few nice idle -citizens, surfeiting courtiers, and stall-fed gentlemen lubbers. The -country people use kitchen physic.” There are two instances among the -papers of the Berkeley family, of the little confidence which persons -of rank placed upon such medical advice and medicinal preparations as -could be obtained in the country, and even in the largest of our -provincial cities. In the second year of Elizabeth's reign Henry Lord -Berkeley “having extremely heated himself by chasing on foot a tame -deer in Yate Park, with the violence thereof fell into an immoderate -bleeding of the nose, to stay which, by the ill counsel of some about -him, he dipt his whole face into a bason of cold water, whereby,” says -the family chronicler, “that flush and fulness of his nose which -forthwith arose could never be remedied, though for present help he -had Physicians in a few days from London, and for better help came -thither himself not long after to have the advice of the whole -College, and lodged with his mother at her house in Shoe-lane.”—He -never afterwards could sing with truth or satisfaction the old song, - - Nose, Nose, jolly red Nose, - And what gave thee that jolly red Nose? - Cinnamon and Ginger, Nutmegs and Cloves, - And they gave me this jolly red Nose. - -A few years later, “Langham an Irish footman of this Lord, upon the -sickness of the Lady Catherine, this Lord's wife, carried a letter -from Callowdon to old Dr. Fryer, a physician dwelling in Little -Britain in London; and returned with a glass bottle in his hand -compounded by the doctor for the recovery of her health, a journey of -an hundred and forty-eight miles performed by him in less than -forty-two hours, notwithstanding his stay of one night at the -physician's and apothecary's houses, which no one horse could have so -well and safely performed.” No doubt it was for the safer conveyance -of the bottle, that a footman was sent on this special errand, for -which the historian of that noble family adds, “the lady shall after -give him a new suit of cloaths.” - -In those days, and long after, they who required remedies were likely -to fare ill, under their own treatment, or that of their neighbours; -and worse under the travelling quack, who was always an ignorant and -impudent impostor, but found that human sufferings and human credulity -afforded him a never-failing harvest. Dr. Green knew this: he did not -say with the Romish priest _populus vult decipi, et decipietur!_ for -he had no intention of deceiving them; but he saw that many were to be -won by buffoonery, more by what is called _palaver_, and almost all by -pretensions. Condescending therefore to the common arts of quackery, -he employed his man Kemp to tickle the multitude with coarse wit; but -he stored himself with the best drugs that were to be procured, -distributed as general remedies such only as could hardly be -misapplied and must generally prove serviceable; and brought to -particular cases the sound knowledge which he had acquired in the -school of Boerhaave, and the skill which he had derived from -experience aided by natural sagacity. When it became convenient for -him to have a home, he established himself at Penrith, in the County -of Cumberland, having married a lady of that place; but he long -continued his favourite course of life and accumulated in it a large -fortune. He gained it by one maggot, and reduced it by many: -nevertheless there remained a handsome inheritance for his children. -His son proved as maggotty as the father, ran through a good fortune, -and when confined in the King's Bench prison for debt, wrote a book -upon the Art of cheap living in London! - -The father's local fame, though it has not reached to the third and -fourth generation, survived him far into the second; and for many -years after his retirement from practice, and even after his death -every travelling mountebank in the northern counties adopted the name -of Dr. Green. - -At the time to which this chapter refers, Dr. Green was in his -meridian career, and enjoyed the highest reputation throughout the -sphere of his itinerancy. Ingleton lay in his rounds, and whenever he -came there he used to send for the schoolmaster to pass the evening -with him. He was always glad if he could find an opportunity also of -conversing with the elder Daniel, as the Flossofer of those parts. -William Dove could have communicated to him more curious things -relating to his own art; but William kept out of the presence of -strangers, and had happily no ailments to make him seek the Doctor's -advice; his occasional indispositions were but slight, and he treated -them in his own way. That way was sometimes merely superstitious, -sometimes it was whimsical, and sometimes rough. If his charms failed -when he tried them upon himself, it was not for want of faith. When at -any time it happened that one of his eyes was blood-shot, he went -forthwith in search of some urchin whose mother, either for laziness, -or in the belief that it was wholesome to have it in that state, -allowed his ragged head to serve as a free warren for certain “small -deer.” One of these hexapeds William secured, and “using him as if he -loved him,” put it into his eye; when according to William's account -the insect fed upon what it found, cleared the eye, and disappearing -he knew not where or how, never was seen more. - -His remedy for the cholic was a pebble posset; white pebbles were -preferred, and of these what was deemed a reasonable quantity was -taken in some sort of milk porridge. Upon the same theory he sometimes -swallowed a pebble large enough as he said to clear all before it; and -for that purpose they have been administered of larger calibre than -any bolus that ever came from the hands of the most merciless -apothecary, as large indeed sometimes as a common sized walnut. Does -the reader hesitate at believing this of an ignorant man, living in a -remote part of the country? Well might William Dove be excused, for a -generation later than his John Wesley prescribed in his Primitive -Physic quicksilver, to be taken ounce by ounce, to the amount of one, -two, or three pounds, till the desired effect was produced. And a -generation earlier, Richard Baxter of happy memory and unhappy -digestion, having read in Dr. Gerhard “the admirable effects of the -swallowing of a gold bullet upon his father,” in a case which Baxter -supposed to be like his own, got a gold bullet of between twenty and -thirty shillings weight, and swallowed it. “Having taken it,” says he, -“I knew not how to be delivered of it again. I took clysters and -purges for about three weeks, but nothing stirred it; and a gentleman -having done the like, the bullet never came from him till he died, and -it was cut out. But at last my neighbours set a day apart to fast and -pray for me, and I was freed from my danger in the beginning of that -day!” - - - - -CHAPTER XXV. P. I. - -_Hiatus valde lacrymabilis._ - - Time flies away fast, - The while we never remember - How soon our life here - Grows old with the year - That dies with the next December! - -HERRICK. - - -I must pass over fourteen years, for were I to pursue the history of -our young Daniel's boyhood and adolescence into all the ramifications -which a faithful biography requires, fourteen volumes would not -contain it. They would be worth reading, for that costs little; they -would be worth writing, though that costs much. They would deserve the -best embellishments that the pencil and the graver could produce. The -most poetical of artists would be worthily employed in designing the -sentimental and melancholy scenes; Cruikshank for the grotesque; -Wilkie and Richter for the comic and serio-comic; Turner for the -actual scenery; Bewick for the head and tail pieces. They ought to be -written; they ought to be read. They should be written—and then they -would be read. But time is wanting: - - _Eheu! fugaces Posthume, Posthume, - Labuntur anni!_ - -and time is a commodity of which the value rises as long as we live. -We must be contented with doing not what we wish, but what we can,—our -_possible_ as the French call it. - -One of our Poets—(which is it?)—speaks of an _everlasting now_. If -such a condition of existence were offered to us in this world, and it -were put to the vote whether we should accept the offer and fix all -things immutably as they are, who are they whose voices would be given -in the affirmative? - -Not those who are in pursuit of fortune, or of fame, or of knowledge, -or of enjoyment, or of happiness; though with regard to all of these, -as far as any of them are attainable, there is more pleasure in the -pursuit than in the attainment. - -Not those who are at sea, or travelling in a stage coach. - -Not the man who is shaving himself. - -Not those who have the tooth ache, or who are having a tooth drawn. - -The fashionable beauty might; and the fashionable singer, and the -fashionable opera dancer, and the actor who is in the height of his -power and reputation. So might the alderman at a city feast. So would -the heir who is squandering a large fortune faster than it was -accumulated for him. And the thief who is not taken, and the convict -who is not hanged, and the scoffer at religion whose heart belies his -tongue. - -Not the wise and the good. - -Not those who are in sickness or in sorrow. - -Not I. - -But were I endowed with the power of suspending the effect of time -upon the things around me, methinks there are some of my flowers which -should neither fall nor fade: decidedly my kitten should never attain -to cathood; and I am afraid my little boy would continue to “mis-speak -half-uttered words;” and never, while I live, outgrow that epicene -dress of French grey, half European, half Asiatic in its fashion. - - - - -CHAPTER XXVI. P. I. - -DANIEL AT DONCASTER; THE REASON WHY HE WAS DESTINED FOR THE MEDICAL -PROFESSION, RATHER THAN HOLY ORDERS; AND SOME REMARKS UPON SERMONS. - -_Je ne veux dissimuler, amy Lecteur, que je n'aye bien préveu, et me -tiens pour deüement adverty, que ne puis eviter la reprehension -d'aucuns, et les calomnies de plusieurs, ausquels c'est éscrit -désplaira du tout._ - -CHRISTOFLE DE HERICOURT. - - -Fourteen years have elapsed since the scene took place which is -related in the twenty-second chapter: and Daniel the younger at the -time to which this present chapter refers was residing at Doncaster -with Peter Hopkins who practised the medical art in all its branches. -He had lived with him eight years, first as a pupil, latterly in the -capacity of an assistant, and afterwards as an adopted successor. - -How this connection between Daniel and Peter Hopkins was brought -about, and the circumstances which prepared the way for it, would have -appeared in some of the non-existent fourteen volumes, if it had -pleased Fate that they should have been written. - -Some of my readers, and especially those who pride themselves upon -their knowledge of the world, or their success in it, will think it -strange perhaps that the elder Daniel, when he resolved to make a -scholar of his son, did not determine upon breeding him either to the -Church, or the Law, in either of which professions the way was easier -and more inviting. Now though this will not appear strange to those -other readers who have perceived that the father had no knowledge of -the world, and could have none, it is nevertheless proper to enter -into some explanation upon that point. - -If George Herbert's Temple, or his Remains, or his life by old Izaak -Walton, had all or any of them happened to be among those few but -precious books which Daniel prized so highly and used so well, it is -likely that the wish of his heart would have been to train up his Son -for a Priest to the Temple. But so it was that none of his reading was -of a kind to give his thoughts that direction; and he had not -conceived any exalted opinion of the Clergy from the specimens which -had fallen in his way. A contempt which was but too general had been -brought upon the Order by the ignorance or the poverty of a great -proportion of its members. The person who served the humble church -which Daniel dutifully attended was almost as poor as a Capuchine, and -quite as ignorant. This poor man had obtained in evil hour from some -easy or careless Bishop a licence to preach. It was reprehensible -enough to have ordained one who was destitute of every qualification -that the office requires; the fault was still greater in promoting him -from the desk to the pulpit. - -“A very great Scholar,” is quoted by Dr. Eachard, as saying “that such -preaching as is usual is a hindrance of salvation rather than the -means to it.” This was said when the fashion of conceited preaching -which is satirized in Frey Gerundio, had extended to England, and -though that fashion has so long been obsolete, that many persons will -be surprized to hear it had ever existed among us, it may still -reasonably be questioned whether sermons such as they commonly are, do -not quench more devotion than they kindle. - -My Lord! put not the book aside in displeasure! (I address myself to -whatever Bishop may be reading it.) Unbiassed I will not call myself, -for I am a true and orthodox churchman, and have the interests of the -Church zealously at heart, because I believe and know them to be -essentially and inseparably connected with those of the commonwealth. -But I have been an attentive observer, and as such, request a hearing. -Receive my remarks as coming from one whose principles are in entire -accord with your Lordship's, whose wishes have the same scope and -purport, and who while he offers his honest opinion, submits it with -proper humility to your judgement. - -The founders of the English Church did not intend that the sermon -should invariably form a part of the Sunday services. It became so in -condescension to the Puritans, of whom it has long been the fashion to -speak with respect, instead of holding them up to the contempt and -infamy and abhorrence which they have so richly merited. They have -been extolled by their descendants and successors as models of -patriotism and piety; and the success with which this delusion has -been practised is one of the most remarkable examples of what may be -effected by dint of effrontery and persevering falsehood. - -That sentence I am certain will not be disapproved at Fulham or -Lambeth. Dr. Southey, or Dr. Phillpots might have written it. - -The general standard of the Clergy has undoubtedly been very much -raised since the days when they were not allowed to preach without a -licence for that purpose from the Ordinary. Nevertheless it is certain -that many persons who are in other, and more material respects well, -or even excellently qualified for the ministerial functions, may be -wanting in the qualifications for a preacher. A man may possess great -learning, sound principles and good sense, and yet be without the -talent of arranging and expressing his thoughts well in a written -discourse: he may want the power of fixing the attention, or reaching -the hearts of his hearers; and in that case the discourse, as some old -writer has said in serious jest, which was designed for _e_dification -turns to _te_dification. The evil was less in Addison's days when he -who distrusted his own abilities, availed himself of the compositions -of some approved Divine, and was not disparaged in the opinion of his -congregation, by taking a printed volume into the pulpit. This is no -longer practised; but instead of this, which secured wholesome -instruction to the people, sermons are manufactured for sale, and sold -in manuscript, or printed in a cursive type imitating manuscript. The -articles which are prepared for such a market, are for the most part -copied from obscure books, with more or less alteration of language, -and generally for the worse; and so far as they are drawn from such -sources they are not likely to contain any thing exceptionable on the -score of doctrine: but the best authors will not be resorted to, for -fear of discovery, and therefore when these are used, the congregation -lose as much in point of instruction, as he who uses them ought to -lose in self-esteem. - -But it is more injurious when a more scrupulous man composes his own -discourses, if he be deficient either in judgement or learning. He is -then more likely to entangle plain texts than to unravel knotty ones; -rash positions are sometimes advanced by such preachers, unsound -arguments are adduced by them in support of momentous doctrines, and -though these things neither offend the ignorant and careless, nor -injure the well-minded and well-informed, they carry poison with them -when they enter a diseased ear. It cannot be doubted that such sermons -act as corroboratives for infidelity. - -Nor when they contain nothing that is actually erroneous, but are -merely unimproving, are they in that case altogether harmless. They -are not harmless if they are felt to be tedious. They are not harmless -if they torpify the understanding: a chill that begins there may -extend to the vital regions. Bishop Taylor (the great Jeremy) says of -devotional books that “they are in a large degree the occasion of so -great indevotion as prevails among the generality of nominal -Christians, being,” he says, “represented naked in the conclusions of -spiritual life, without or art or learning; and made apt for persons -who can do nothing but believe and love, not for them that can -consider and love.” This applies more forcibly to bad sermons than to -common-place books of devotion; the book may be laid aside if it -offend the reader's judgement, but the sermon is a positive infliction -upon the helpless hearer. - -The same Bishop,—and his name ought to carry with it authority among -the wise and the good, has delivered an opinion upon this subject, in -his admirable Apology for Authorized and Set Forms of Liturgy. -“Indeed,” he says, “if I may freely declare my opinion, I think it -were not amiss, if the liberty of making sermons were something more -restrained than it is; and that such persons only were intrusted with -the liberty, for whom the church herself may safely be -responsive,—that is men learned and pious; and that the other part, -the _vulgus cleri_, should instruct the people out of the fountains of -the church and the public stock, till by so long exercise and -discipline in the schools of the Prophets they may also be intrusted -to minister of their own unto the people. This I am sure was the -practice of the Primitive Church.” - -“I am convinced,” said Dr. Johnson, “that I ought to be at Divine -Service more frequently than I am; but the provocations given by -ignorant and affected preachers too often disturb the mental calm -which otherwise would succeed to prayer. I am apt to whisper to myself -on such occasions, ‘How can this illiterate fellow dream of fixing -attention, after we have been listening to the sublimest truths, -conveyed in the most chaste and exalted language, throughout a liturgy -which must be regarded as the genuine offspring of piety impregnated -by wisdom!’”—“Take notice, however,” he adds, “though I make this -confession respecting myself, I do not mean to recommend the -fastidiousness that sometimes leads me to exchange congregational for -solitary worship.” - -The saintly Herbert says, - - “Judge not the Preacher, for he is thy Judge; - If thou mislike him thou conceiv'st him not. - God calleth preaching folly. Do not grudge - To pick out treasures from an earthen pot. - The worst speak something good. If all want sense - God takes a text and preacheth patience. - - He that gets patience and the blessing which - Preachers conclude with, hath not lost his pains.” - -This sort of patience was all that Daniel could have derived from the -discourses of the poor curate; and it was a lesson of which his meek -and benign temper stood in no need. Nature had endowed him with this -virtue, and this Sunday's discipline exercised without strengthening -it. While he was, in the phrase of the Religious Public, _sitting -under_ the preacher, he obeyed to a certain extent George Herbert's -precept,—that is he obeyed it as he did other laws with the existence -of which he was unacquainted,— - - Let vain or busy thoughts have there no part; - Bring not thy plough, thy plots, thy pleasure thither. - -Pleasure made no part of his speculations at any time. Plots he had -none. For the Plough,—it was what he never followed in fancy, -patiently as he plodded after the furrow in his own vocation. And then -for worldly thoughts they were not likely in that place to enter a -mind, which never at any time entertained them. But to that sort of -thought (if thought it may be called) which cometh as it listeth, and -which when the mind is at ease and the body in health, is the -forerunner and usher of sleep, he certainly gave way. The curate's -voice past over his ear like the sound of the brook with which it -blended, and it conveyed to him as little meaning and less feeling. -During the sermon therefore he retired into himself, with as much or -as little edification, as a Quaker finds at a silent meeting. - -It happened also that of the few clergy within the very narrow circle -in which Daniel moved, some were in no good repute for their conduct, -and none displayed either that zeal in the discharge of their pastoral -functions, or that earnestness and ability in performing the service -of the Church, which are necessary for commanding the respect and -securing the affections of the parishioners. The clerical profession -had never presented itself to him in its best, which is really its -true light; and for that cause he would never have thought of it for -the boy, even if the means of putting him forward in this path had -been easier and more obvious than they were. And for the dissenting -ministry, Daniel liked not the name of a Nonconformist. The Puritans -had left behind them an ill savour in his part of the country, as they -had done every where else; and the extravagances of the primitive -Quakers, which during his childhood were fresh in remembrance, had not -yet been forgotten. - -It was well remembered in those parts that the Vicar of Kirkby -Lonsdale through the malignity of some of his puritanical -parishioners, had been taken out of his bed—from his wife who was then -big with child, and hurried away to Lancaster jail, where he was -imprisoned three years for no other offence than that of fidelity to -his Church and his King. And that the man who was a chief instigator -of this persecution, and had enriched himself by the spoil of his -neighbour's goods, though he flourished for a while, bought a field -and built a fine house, came to poverty at last, and died in prison, -having for some time received his daily food there from the table of -one of this very Vicar's sons. It was well remembered also that, in a -parish of the adjoining county-palatine, the puritanical party had set -fire in the night to the Rector's barns, stable, and parsonage; and -that he and his wife and children had only as it were by miracle -escaped from the flames. - -William Dove had also among his traditional stores some stories of a -stranger kind concerning the Quakers, these parts of the North having -been a great scene of their vagaries in their early days. He used to -relate how one of them went into the church at Brough, during the -reign of the Puritans, with a white sheet about his body, and a rope -about his neck, to prophesy before the people and their Whig Priest -(as he called him) that the surplice which was then prohibited should -again come into use, and that the Gallows should have its due! And how -when their ringleader George Fox was put in prison at Carlisle, the -wife of Justice Benson would eat no meat unless she partook it with -him at the bars of his dungeon, declaring she was moved to do this; -wherefore it was supposed he had bewitched her. And not without -reason; for when this old George went, as he often did, into the -Church to disturb the people, and they thrust him out, and fell upon -him and beat him, sparing neither sticks nor stones if they came to -hand, he was presently for all that they had done to him, as sound and -as fresh as if nothing had touched him; and when they tried to kill -him, they could not take away his life! And how this old George rode a -great black horse, upon which he was seen in the course of the same -hour at two places threescore miles distant from each other! And how -some of the women who followed this old George used to strip off all -their clothes, and in that plight go into the church at service time -on the Sunday to bear testimony against the pomps and vanities of the -world; “and to be sure,” said William, “they must have been witched, -or they never would have done this.” “Lord deliver us!” said Dinah, -“to be sure they must!”—“To be sure they must, Lord bless us all!” -said Haggy. - - - - -CHAPTER XXVII. P. I. - -A PASSAGE IN PROCOPIUS IMPROVED. A STORY CONCERNING URIM AND THUMMIM; -AND THE ELDER DANIEL'S OPINION OF THE PROFESSION OF THE LAW. - - Here is Domine Picklock - My man of Law, sollicits all my causes, - Follows my business, makes and compounds my quarrels - Between my tenants and me; sows all my strifes - And reaps them too, troubles the country for me, - And vexes any neighbour that I please. - -BEN JONSON. - - -Among the people who were converted to the Christian faith during the -sixth century were two tribes or nations called the Lazi and the Zani. -Methinks it had been better if they had been left unconverted; for -they have multiplied prodigiously among us, so that between the Lazy -Christians and the Zany ones, Christianity has grievously suffered. - -It was one of the Zany tribe whom Guy once heard explaining to his -congregation what was meant by Urim and Thummim, and in technical -phrase _improving_ the text. Urim and Thummim, he said, were two -precious stones, or rather stones above all price, the Hebrew names of -which have been interpreted to signify Light and Perfection, or -Doctrine and Judgement, (which Luther prefers in his Bible, and in -which some of the northern versions, have followed him) or the Shining -and the Perfect, or Manifestation and Truth, the words in the original -being capable of any or all of these significations. They were set in -the High Priest's breast-plate of judgement; and when he consulted -them upon any special occasion to discover the will of God, they -displayed an extraordinary brilliancy if the matter which was referred -to this trial were pleasing to the Lord Jehovah, but they gave no -lustre if it were disapproved. “My Brethren,” said the Preacher, “this -is what learned Expositors, Jewish and Christian, tell me concerning -these two precious stones. The stones themselves are lost. But, my -Christian Brethren, we need them not, for we have a surer means of -consulting and discovering the will of God; and still it is by Urim -and Thummim if we alter only a single letter in one of those -mysterious words. Take your Bible, my brethren; _use him and thumb -him—use him and thumb him well_, and you will discover the will of God -as surely as ever the High Priest did by the stones in his breast -plate!” - -What Daniel saw of the Lazi, and what he heard of the Zani, prevented -him from ever forming a wish to educate his son for a North country -cure, which would have been all the preferment that lay within his -view. And yet if any person to whose judgement he deferred had -reminded him that Bishop Latimer had risen from as humble an origin, -it might have awakened in him a feeling of ambition for the boy, not -inconsistent with his own philosophy. - -But no suggestions could ever have induced Daniel to chuse for him the -profession of the Law. The very name of Lawyer was to him a word of -evil acceptation. Montaigne has a pleasant story of a little boy who -when his mother had lost a lawsuit which he had always heard her speak -of as a perpetual cause of trouble, ran up to him in great glee to -tell him of the loss as a matter for congratulation and joy; the poor -child thought it was like losing a cough, or any other bodily ailment. -Daniel entertained the same sort of opinion concerning all legal -proceedings. He knew that laws were necessary evils; but he thought -they were much greater evils than there was any necessity that they -should be; and believing this to be occasioned by those who were -engaged in the trade of administering them, he looked upon lawyers as -the greatest pests in the country— - - Because, their end being merely avarice, - Winds up their wits to such a nimble strain - As helps to blind the Judge, not give him eyes.[1] - -He had once been in the Courts at Lancaster, having been called upon -as witness in a civil suit, and the manner in which he was cross -examined there by one of those “young spruce Lawyers,” whom Donne has -so happily characterized as being - - ———“all impudence and tongue” - -had confirmed him in this prejudice. What he saw of the proceedings -that day induced him to agree with Beaumont and Fletcher, that - - Justice was a Cheese-monger, a mere cheese-monger, - Weighed nothing to the world but mites and maggots - And a main stink; Law, like a horse-courser, - Her rules and precepts hung with gauds and ribbands, - And pampered up to cozen him that bought her, - When she herself was hackney, lame and founder'd.[2] - -His was too simple and sincere an understanding to admire in any other -sense than that of wondering at them - - Men of that large profession that can speak - To every cause, and things mere contraries, - Till they are hoarse again, yet all be law! - That with most quick agility can turn - And re-return; can make knots and undo them, - Give forked counsel, take provoking gold - On either hand, and put it up. These men - He knew would thrive;—[3] - -but far was he from wishing that a son of his should thrive by such a -perversion of his intellectual powers, and such a corruption of his -moral nature. - -[Footnote 1: LORD BROOKE.] - -[Footnote 2: WOMAN PLEASED.] - -[Footnote 3: BEN JONSON.] - -On the other hand he felt a degree of respect amounting almost to -reverence for the healing art, which is connected with so many -mysteries of art and nature. And therefore when an opportunity offered -of placing his son with a respectable practitioner, who he had every -reason for believing would behave toward him with careful and prudent -kindness, his entire approbation was given to the youth's own choice. - - - - -CHAPTER XXVIII. - -PETER HOPKINS. EFFECTS OF TIME AND CHANGE. DESCRIPTION OF HIS -DWELLING-HOUSE. - - _Combien de changemens depuis que suis au monde, - Qui n'est qu' un point du tems!_ - -PASQUIER. - - -Peter Hopkins was a person who might have suffered death by the laws -of Solon, if that code had been established in this country; for -though he lived in the reigns of George I. and George II. he was -neither Whig nor Tory, Hanoverian nor Jacobite. When he drank the -King's health with any of his neighbours, he never troubled himself -with considering which King was intended, nor to which side of the -water their good wishes were directed. Under George or Charles he -would have been the same quiet subject, never busying himself with a -thought about political matters, and having no other wish concerning -them than that they might remain as they were,—so far he was a -Hanoverian, and no farther. There was something of the same temper in -his religion; he was a sincere Christian, and had he been born to -attendance at the Mass or the Meeting House would have been equally -sincere in his attachment to either of those extremes. For his whole -mind was in his profession. He was learned in its history; fond of its -theories; and skilful in its practice, in which he trusted little to -theory and much to experience. - -Both he and his wife were at this time well stricken in years; they -had no children, and no near kindred on either side; and being both -kind-hearted people, the liking which they soon entertained toward -Daniel for his docility, his simplicity of heart, his obliging temper, -his original cast of mind, and his never failing good-humour, ripened -into a settled affection. - -Hopkins lived next door to the Mansion House, which edifice was begun -a few years after Daniel went to live with him. There is a view of the -Mansion House in Dr. Miller's History of Doncaster, and in that print -the dwelling in question is included. It had undergone no other -alteration at the time this view was taken than that of having had its -casements replaced by sash windows, an improvement which had been made -by our Doctor, when the frame work of the casements had become -incapable of repair. The gilt pestle and mortar also had been removed -from its place above the door. Internally the change had been greater; -for the same business not being continued there after the Doctor's -decease, the shop had been converted into a sitting room, and the very -odour of medicine had passed away. But I will not allow myself to -dwell upon this melancholy subject. The world is full of mutations; -and there is hardly any that does not bring with it some regret at the -time,—and alas, more in the retrospect! I have lived to see the -American Colonies separated from Great Britain, the Kingdom of Poland -extinguished, the republic of Venice destroyed, its territory seized -by one Usurper, delivered over in exchange to another, and the -transfer sanctioned and confirmed by all the Powers of Europe in -Congress assembled! I have seen Heaven knows how many little -Principalities and States, proud of their independance, and happy in -the privileges connected with it, swallowed up by the Austrian or the -Prussian Eagle, or thrown to the Belgic Lion, as his share in the -division of the spoils. I have seen constitutions spring up like -mushrooms and kicked down as easily. I have seen the rise and fall of -Napoleon. - - I have seen Cedars fall - And in their room a mushroom grow; - I have seen Comets, threatening all, - Vanish themselves;[1] - -wherefore then should I lament over what time and mutability have done -to a private dwelling-house in Doncaster? - -[Footnote 1: HABINGTON.] - -It was an old house, which when it was built had been one of the best -in Doncaster; and even after the great improvements which have changed -the appearance of the town, had an air of antiquated respectability -about it. Had it been near the church it would have been taken for the -Vicarage; standing where it did, its physiognomy was such that you -might have guessed it was the Doctor's house, even if the pestle and -mortar had not been there as his insignia. There were eight windows -and two doors in front. It consisted of two stories, and was oddly -built, the middle part having, something in the Scotch manner, the -form of a gable end towards the street. Behind this was a single -chimney, tall, and shaped like a pillar. In windy nights the Doctor -was so often consulted by Mrs. Dove concerning the stability of that -chimney, that he accounted it the plague of his life. But it was one -of those evils which could not be removed without bringing on a worse, -the alternative being whether there should be a tall chimney, or a -smoky house. And after the mansion house was erected, there was one -wind which in spite of the chimney's elevation drove the smoke -down,—so inconvenient is it sometimes to be fixed near a great -neighbour. - -This unfortunate chimney, being in the middle of the house, served for -four apartments; the Doctor's study and his bedchamber on the upper -floor, the kitchen and the best parlour on the lower, that parlour, -yes Reader, that very parlour wherein, as thou canst not have -forgotten, Mrs. Dove was making tea for the Doctor on that ever -memorable afternoon with which our history begins. - - - - -CHAPTER XXIX. P. I. - -A HINT OF REMINISCENCE TO THE READER. THE CLOCK OF ST. GEORGE'S. A -WORD IN HONOR OF ARCHDEACON MARKHAM. - -There is a ripe season for every thing, and if you slip that or -anticipate it, you dim the grace of the matter be it never so good. As -we say by way of Proverb that an hasty birth brings forth blind -whelps, so a good tale tumbled out before the time is ripe for it, is -ungrateful to the hearer. - -BISHOP HACKETT. - - -The judicious reader will now have perceived that in the progress of -this narrative,—which may be truly said to - - ——bear - A music in the ordered history - It lays before us,—— - -we have arrived at that point which determines the scene and acquaints -him with the local habitation of the Doctor. He will perceive also -that in our method of narration nothing has been inartificially -anticipated; that there have been no premature disclosures, no -precipitation, no hurry, or impatience on my part; and that on the -other hand there has been no unnecessary delay, but that we have -regularly and naturally come to this developement. The author who -undertakes a task like mine, - - must nombre al the hole cyrcumstaunce - Of hys matter with brevyacion, - -as an old Poet says of the professors of the rhyming art, and must -moreover be careful - - That he walke not by longe continuance - The perambulate way, - -as I have been, O Reader! and as it is my fixed intention still to be. -Thou knowest, gentle Reader, that I have never wearied thee with idle -and worthless words; thou knowest that the old comic writer spake -truly when he said, that the man who speaks little says too much, if -he says what is not to the point; but that he who speaks well and -wisely will never be accused of speaking at too great length, - - Τὸν μὴ λέγοντα τῶν δεόντων μηδὲ ἓν - Μακρὸν νόμιζε, κᾂν δύ᾿ εἴπῃ συλλαβάς. - Τὸν δ᾿ εὗ λέγοντα, μὴ νόμιζ᾿ εἶναι μακρὸν, - Μηδ᾿ ἂν σφόδρ᾿ εἴπῃ πολλὰ, και πολὺν χρόνον.[1] - -[Footnote 1: PHILEMON.] - -My good Readers will remember that, as was duly noticed in our first -chapter P. I. the clock of St. George's had just struck five when Mrs. -Dove was pouring out the seventh cup of tea for her husband, and when -our history opens. I have some observations to make concerning both -the tea and the tea service, which will dear the Doctor from any -imputation of intemperance in his use of that most pleasant, -salutiferous and domesticizing beverage: but it would disturb the -method of my narration were they to be introduced in this place. Here -I have something to relate about the Clock. Some forty or fifty years -ago a Butcher being one of the Churchwardens of the year, and fancying -himself in that capacity invested with full power to alter and improve -any thing in or about the Church, thought proper to change the -position of the clock, and accordingly had it removed to the highest -part of the tower, immediately under the battlements. Much beautiful -Gothic work was cut away to make room for the three dials, which he -placed on three sides of this fine tower; and when he was asked what -had induced him thus doubly to disfigure the edifice, by misplacing -the dials, and destroying so much of the ornamental part, the great -and greasy killcow answered that by fixing the dials so high, he could -now stand at his own shop door and see what it was o'clock! That -convenience this arrant churchwarden had the satisfaction of enjoying -for several years, there being no authority that could call him to -account for the insolent mischief he had done. But Archdeacon Markham -(to his praise be it spoken) at the end of the last century prevailed -on the then churchwardens to remove two of the dials, and restore the -architectural ornaments which had been defaced. - -This was the clock which, with few intervals, measured out by hours -the life of Daniel Dove from the seventeenth year of his age, when he -first set up his rest within its sound. - -Perhaps of all the works of man sun-dials and church-clocks are those -which have conveyed most feeling to the human heart; the clock more -than the sun-dial because it speaks to the ear as well as to the eye, -and by night as well as by day. Our forefathers understood this, and -therefore they not only gave a Tongue to Time, but provided that he -should speak often to us and remind us that the hours are passing. -Their quarter-boys and their chimes were designed for this moral -purpose as much as the memento which is so commonly seen upon an old -clock-face,—and so seldom upon a new one. I never hear chimes that -they do not remind me of those which were formerly the first sounds I -heard in the morning, which used to quicken my step on my way to -school, and which announced my release from it, when the same tune -methought had always a merrier import. When I remember their tones, -life seems to me like a dream, and a train of recollections arises, -which if it were allowed to have its course would end in tears. - - - - -CHAPTER XXX. P. I. - -THE OLD BELLS RUNG TO A NEW TUNE. - -If the bell have any sides the clapper will find 'em. - -BEN JONSON. - - -That same St. George's Church has a peal of eight tunable bells, in -the key of E. b. the first bell weighing seven hundred, one quarter -and fourteen pounds. - - _Tra tutte quante le musiche humane, - O Signor mio gentil, tra le più care - Gioje del mondo, è 'l suon delle campane; - Don don don don don don, che ve ne pare?_[1] - -[Footnote 1: AGNOLO FIRENZUOLA.] - -They were not christened, because they were not Roman Catholic bells; -for in Roman Catholic countries church bells are christened with the -intention of causing them to be held in greater reverence,— - - _—però ordinò n'un consistoro - Un certo di quei buon papi all' antica, - Che non ci lavoravan di straforo, - Che la campana si, si benedica, - Poi si battezzi, e se le ponga il nome, - Prima che' in campanil l' ufizio dica. - Gli organi, ch' anco lor san sì ben come - Si dica il vespro, e le messe cantate, - Non hanno questo honor sopra le chiome. - Che le lor canne non son battezzate, - Ne' nome ha l' una Pier, l' altra Maria - Come hanno le campane prelibate._[2] - -[Footnote 2: AGNOLO FIRENZUOLA.] - -The bells of St. George's, Doncaster, I say, were not christened, -because they were Protestant bells; for distinction's sake however we -will name them as the bells stand in the dirge of that unfortunate Cat -whom Johnny Green threw into the well. - -But it will be better to exhibit their relative weights in figures, so -that they may be seen synoptically. Thus then;— - - Cwt. qr. lb. -Bim the first 7 . . 1 . . 14 -Bim the second 8 . . 0 . . 18 -Bim the third 8 . . 2 . . 6 -Bim the fourth 10 . . 3 . . 15 -Bim the fifth 13 . . 1 . . 0 -Bim the sixth 15 . . 2 . . 16 -Bom 22 . . 1 . . 0 -Bell 29 . . 1 . . 20 - -I cannot but admit that these appellations not so stately in -appearance as those of the peal which the Bishop of Chalons recently -baptized, and called a “happy and holy family” in the edifying -discourse that he delivered upon the occasion. The first of these was -called Marie, to which—or to whom,—the Duke and Duchess of Danderville -(so the newspapers give this name) stood sponsors. “It is you Marie,” -said the Bishop, “who will have the honor to announce the festivals, -and proclaim the glory of the Lord! You appear among us under the most -happy auspices, presented by those respectable and illustrious hands -to which the practices of piety have been so long familiar. And you -Anne,” he pursued, addressing the second bell,—“an object worthy of -the zeal and piety of our first magistrate (the Prefect) and of her -who so nobly shares his solicitude,—you shall be charged with the same -employment. Your voice shall be joined to Marie's upon important -occasions. Ah! what touching lessons will you not give in imitation of -her whose name you bear, and whom we reverence as the purest of -Virgins! You also Deodate, will take part in this concert, you whom an -angel, a new-born infant, has conjointly with me consecrated to the -Lord! Speak Deodate! and let us hear your marvellous accents.” This -Angel and Godmother in whose name the third bell was given was -Mademoiselle Deodate Boisset, then in the second month of her age, -daughter of Viscount Boisset. “And you Stephanie, crowned with glory,” -continued the orator, in learned allusion to the Greek word _σεφανος_, -“you are not less worthy to mingle your accents with the melody of -your sisters. And you lastly Seraphine and Pudentienne, you will raise -your voices in this touching concert, happy all of you in having been -presented to the benedictions of the Church, by these noble and -generous souls, so praiseworthy for the liveliness of their faith, and -the holiness of their example.” And then the Bishop concluded by -calling upon the congregation to join with him in prayer that the -Almighty would be pleased to preserve from all accidents this “happy -and holy family of the bells.” - -We have no such sermons from our Bishops! The whole ceremony must have -been as useful to the bells as it was edifying to the people. - -Were I called upon to act as sponsor upon such an occasion, I would -name my bell Peter Bell in honour of Mr. Wordsworth. There has been a -bull so called, and a bull it was of great merit. But if it were the -great bell, then it should be called Andrew, in honour of Dr. Bell; -and that bell should call the children to school. - -There are, I believe, only two bells in England which are known by -their Christian names, and they are both called Tom; but Great Tom of -Oxford which happens to be much the smaller of the two was christened -in the feminine gender, being called Mary, in the spirit of catholic -and courtly adulation at the commencement of the bloody Queen's reign. -Tresham the Vicechancellor performed the ceremony, and his exclamation -when it first summoned him to mass has been recorded:—“O delicate and -sweet harmony! O beautiful Mary! how musically she sounds! how -strangely she pleaseth my ear!” - -In spite of this christening, the object of Dr. Tresham's admiration -is as decidedly a Tom-Bell, as the Puss in Boots who appeared at a -Masquerade (Theodore Hook remembers when and where) was a Tom Cat. -Often as the said Tom-Bell has been mentioned, there is but one other -anecdote recorded of him; it occurred on Thursday the thirteenth day -of March 1806, and was thus described in a letter written two hours -after the event:—“An odd thing happened to-day about half past four, -Tom suddenly went mad; he began striking as fast as he could about -twenty times. Every body went out doubting whether there was an -earthquake, or whether the Dean was dead, or the College on fire. -However nothing was the matter but that Tom was taken ill in his -bowels: in other words something had happened to the works, but it was -not of any serious consequence, for he has struck six as well as ever, -and bids fair to toll 101 to-night as well as he did before the -attack.” - -This was written by a youth of great natural endowments, rare -acquirements, playful temper, and affectionate heart. If his days had -been prolonged, his happy industry, his inoffensive wit, his sound -judgement and his moral worth, favoured as they were by all favourable -circumstances, must have raised him to distinction, and the name of -Barrè Roberts which is now known only in the little circle of his own -and his father's friends, would have had its place with those who have -deserved well of their kind and reflected honor upon their country. - -But I return to a subject, which would have interested him in his -antiquarian pursuits,—for he loved to wander among the Ruins of Time. -We will return therefore to that ceremony of christening Church Bells, -which with other practices of the Holy Roman Catholic and Apostolic -Church, has been revived in France. - -Bells, say those Theologians in _issimi_ who have gravely written upon -this grave matter, Bells, say they, are not actually baptized with -that baptism which is administered for the remission of sins; but they -are said to be christened because the same ceremonies which are -observed in christening children, are also observed in consecrating -them, such as the washing, the anointing and the imposing a name; all -which however may more strictly be said to represent the signs and -symbols of baptism, than they may be called baptism itself.— - -Nothing can be more candid! Bells are not baptized for the remission -of sins, because the original sin of a bell would be a flaw in the -metal, or a defect in the tone, neither of which the Priest undertakes -to remove. There was however a previous ceremony of blessing the -furnace when the bells were cast within the precincts of a monastery, -as they most frequently were in former times, and this may have been -intended for the prevention of such defects. The Brethren stood round -the furnace ranged in processional order, sang the 150th Psalm, and -then after certain prayers blessed the molten metal, and called upon -the Lord to infuse into it his grace and overshadow it with his power, -for the honor of the Saint, to whom the bell was to be dedicated and -whose name it was to bear. - -When the time of christening came, the officiating Priest and his -assistant named every bell five times, as a sort of prelude, for some -unexplained reason which may perhaps be as significant and mystical as -the other parts of the ceremony. He then blessed the water in two -vessels which were prepared for the service. Dipping a clean linen -cloth in one of these vessels he washed the bell within and without, -the bell being suspended over a vessel wider in circumference than the -bell's mouth, in order that no drop of the water employed in this -washing might fall to the ground; for the water was holy. Certain -psalms were said or sung (they were the 96th and the four last in the -psalter;) during this part of the ceremony and while the officiating -Priest prepared the water in the second vessel: this he did by -sprinkling salt in it, and putting holy oil upon it, either with his -thumb, or with a stick; if the thumb were used, it was to be cleaned -immediately by rubbing it well with salt over the same water. Then he -dipt another clean cloth in this oiled and salted water, and again -washed the bell, within and without: after the service the cloths were -burnt lest they should be profaned by other uses. The bell was then -authentically named. Then it was anointed with chrism in the form of a -cross four times on the broadest part of the outside, thrice on the -smaller part, and four times on the inside, those parts being anointed -with most care against which the clapper was to strike. After this the -name was again given. Myrrh and frankincense were then brought, the -bell was incensed while part of a psalm was recited and the bell was -authentically named a third time; after which the priest carefully -wiped the chrism from the bell with tow, and the tow was immediately -burnt in the censer. Next the Priest struck each bell thrice with its -clapper, and named it again at every stroke; every one of the -assistants in like manner struck it and named it once. The bells were -then carefully covered each with a cloth and immediately hoisted that -they might not be contaminated by any irreverent touch. The Priest -concluded by explaining to the congregation, if he thought proper, the -reason for this ceremony of christening the bells, which was that they -might act as preservatives against thunder and lightning, and hail and -wind, and storms of every kind, and moreover that they might drive -away evil Spirits. To these and their other virtues the Bishop of -Chalons alluded in his late truly Gallican and Roman Catholic -discourse. “The Bells,” said he, “placed like centinels on the towers, -watch over us and turn away from us the temptations of the enemy of -our salvation, as well as storms and tempests. They speak and pray for -us in our troubles; they inform heaven of the necessities of the -earth.” - -Now were this edifying part of the Roman Catholic ritual to be -re-introduced in the British dominions,—as it very possibly may be now -that Lord Peter has appeared in his robes before the King, and been -introduced by his title,—the opportunity would no doubt be taken by -the Bishop or Jesuit who might direct the proceedings, of -complimenting the friends of their cause by naming the first “holy and -happy family” after them. And to commemorate the extraordinary union -of sentiment which that cause has brought about between persons not -otherwise remarkable for any similitude of feelings or opinions, they -might unite two or more names in one bell, (as is frequently done in -the human subject,) and thus with a peculiar felicity of compliment, -shew who and who upon this great and memorable occasion have _pulled -together_. In such a case the names selected for a peal of eight -tunable bells might run thus - - Bim 1st. — Canning O'Connel. - Bim 2d. — Plunkett Shiel. - Bim 3d. — Augustus Frederick Cobbett. - Bim 4th. — Williams Wynn Burdett Waithman. - Bim 5th. — Grenville Wood. - Bim 6th. — Palmerston Hume. - Bom — Lawless Brougham. - Bell — Lord King, _per se_;— - -—alone _par excellence_, as the thickest and thinnest friend of the -cause, and moreover because - - None but himself can be his parallel; - -and last in order because the base note accords best with him; and -because for the decorum and dignity with which he has at all times -treated the Bishops, the clergy and the subject of religion, he must -be allowed to bear the bell not from his compeers alone but from all -his contemporaries. - - - - -CHAPTER XXXI. P. I. - -MORE CONCERNING BELLS. - - Lord, ringing changes all our bells hath marr'd; - Jangled they have and jarr'd - So long, they're out of tune, and out of frame; - They seem not now the same. - Put them in frame anew, and once begin - To tune them so, that they may chime all in! - -HERBERT. - - -There are more mysteries in a peal of bells than were touched upon by -the Bishop of Chalons in his sermon. There are plain bob-triples, -bob-majors, bob-majors reversed, double bob-majors, and -grandsire-bob-cators, and there is a Bob-maximus. Who Bob was, and -whether he were Bob Major, or Major Bob, that is whether Major were -his name or his rank, and if his rank, to what service he belonged, -are questions which inexorable Oblivion will not answer, however -earnestly adjured. And there is no Witch of Endor who will call up Bob -from the grave to answer them himself. But there are facts in the -history of bell-ringing which Oblivion has not yet made her own, and -one of them is that the greatest performance ever completed by one -person in the world, was that of Mr. Samuel Thurston at the New -Theatre Public House in the City of Norwich, on Saturday evening, July -1, 1809, when he struck all these intricate short peals, the first -four upon a set of eight musical hand bells, the last on a peal of -ten. - -But a performance upon hand-bells when compared to bell-ringing is -even less than a review in comparison with a battle. Strength of arm -as well as skill is required for managing a bell-rope. Samuel -Thurston's peal of plain bob-triples was “nobly brought round” in two -minutes and three quarters, and his grandsire-bob-cators were as nobly -finished in five minutes and fourteen seconds. The reader shall now -see what real bell-ringing is. - -The year 1796 was remarkable for the performance of great exploits in -this manly and English art,—for to England the art is said to be -peculiar, the cheerful carrillons of the continent being played by -keys. In that year, and in the month of August the Westmorland youths -rang a complete peal of 5040 grandsire triples, in St. Mary's Church -Kendal, being the whole number of changes on seven bells. The peal was -divided into ten parts, or courses of 504 each; the bobs were called -by the sixth, a lead single was made in the middle of the peal, and -another at the conclusion which brought the bells home. Distinct leads -and exact divisions were observed throughout the whole, and the -performance was completed in three hours and twenty minutes. A like -performance took place in the same month at Kidderminster in three -hours and fourteen minutes. Stephen Hill composed and called the peal, -it was conducted through with one single, which was brought to the -4984th change, viz. 1267453. This was allowed by those who were -conversant in the art to exceed any peal ever yet rung in this kingdom -by that method. - -_Paulo majora canamus_. The Society of Cambridge youths that same year -rang in the Church of St. Mary the Great, a true and complete peal of -Bob maximus, in five hours and five minutes. This consisted of 6600 -changes, and for regularity of striking and harmony throughout the -peal was allowed by competent judges to be a very masterly -performance. In point of time the striking was to such a nicety that -in each thousand changes the time did not vary one sixteenth of a -minute, and the compass of the last thousand was exactly equal to the -first. - -Eight Birmingham youths (some of them were under twenty years of age) -attempted a greater exploit, they ventured upon a complete peal of -15120 bob major. They failed indeed, _magnis tamen ausis_. For after -they had rang upwards of eight hours and a half, they found themselves -so much fatigued that they desired the caller would take the first -opportunity to bring the bells home. This he soon did by omitting a -bob and so brought them round thus making a peal of 14224 changes in -eight hours and forty-five minutes, the longest which was ever rung in -that part of the country, or perhaps any where else. - -In that same year died Mr. Patrick the celebrated composer of -church-bell-music, and senior of the Society of Cumberland Youths,—an -Hibernian sort of distinction for one in middle or later life. He is -the same person whose name was well known in the scientific world as a -maker of barometers; and he it was who composed the whole peal of -Stedman's triples, 5040 changes, (which his obituarist says had till -then been deemed impracticable, and for the discovery of which he -received a premium of 50_l._ offered for that purpose by the Norwich -amateurs of the art) “his productions of real double and treble bob -royal being a standing monument of his unparalleled and superlative -merits.” This Mr. Patrick was interred on the afternoon of Sunday, -June 26, in the church-yard of St. Leonard, Shoreditch; the corpse was -followed to the grave by all the Ringing Societies in London and its -environs, each sounding hand bells with muffled clappers, the church -bells at the same time ringing a dead peal; - - ̔Ως οἵγ̕ ἀμφἰεπον τάφον Πατρἰκος βοϐϐοδάμοιο. - -James Ogden was interred with honours of the same kind at Ashton under -Line, in the year of this present writing, 1827. His remains were -borne to the grave by the ringers of St. Michael's Tower in that town, -with whom he had rung the tenor bell for more than fifty years, and -with whom he performed “the unprecedented feat” of ringing five -thousand on that bell (which weighed 28 cwt.) in his sixty-seventh -year. After the funeral his old companions rang a dead peal for him of -828 changes, that being the number of the months of his life. Such in -England are the funeral honors of the Βελτιϛοι. - -It would take 91 years to ring the changes upon twelve bells, at the -rate of two strokes to a second; the changes upon fourteen could not -be rung through at the same rate in less than 16575 years; and upon -four and twenty they would require more than 117,000 billions of -years. - -Great then are the mysteries of bell-ringing! And this may be said in -its praise, that of all devices which men have sought out for -obtaining distinction by making a noise in the world, it is the most -harmless. - - - - -CHAPTER XXXII. P. I. - -AN INTRODUCTION TO CERTAIN PRELIMINARIES ESSENTIAL TO THE PROGRESS OF -THIS WORK. - - _Mas demos ya el asiento en lo importante, - Que el tiempo huye del mundo por la posta._ - -BALBUENA. - - -The subject of these memoirs heard the bells of St. George's ring for -the battles of Dettingen and Culloden; for Commodore Anson's return -and Admiral Hawke's victory; for the conquest of Quebec; for other -victories, important in their day, though in the retrospect they may -seem to have produced little effect; and for more than one Peace; for -the going out of the Old Style, and for the coming in of the New; for -the accession, marriage and coronation of George the 3d; for the birth -of George the 4th; and that of all his royal brethren and sisters;—and -what was to him a subject of nearer and dearer interest than any of -these events,—for his own wedding. - -What said those bells to him that happy day? for that bells can convey -articulate sounds to those who have the gift of interpreting their -language, Whittington Lord Mayor of London Town knew by fortunate -experience. - -So did a certain Father Confessor in the Netherlands whom a buxom -widow consulted upon the perilous question whether she should marry a -second husband, or continue in widowed blessedness. The prudent Priest -deemed it too delicate a point for him to decide; so he directed her -to attend to the bells of her church when next they chimed—(they were -but three in number)—and bring him word what she thought they said; -and he exhorted her to pray in the mean time earnestly for grace to -understand them rightly, and in the sense that might be most for her -welfare here and hereafter, as he on his part would pray for her.—She -listened with mouth and ears, the first time that the bells struck up; -and the more she listened, the more plainly they said “_Nempt een man, -Nempt een man!_—Take a Spouse, Take a Spouse!” “Aye Daughter!” said -the Confessor, when she returned to him with her report, “If the bells -have said so, so say I; and not I alone, but the Apostle also, and the -Spirit who through that Apostle hath told us when it is best for us to -marry!” Reader thou mayest thank the Leonine poet Gummarus Van Craen -for this good story. - -What said the Bells of Doncaster to our dear Doctor on that happy -morning which made him a whole man by uniting to him the rib that he -till then had wanted? They said to him as distinctly as they spoke to -Whittington, and to the Flemish Widow, - - Daniel Dove brings Deborah home. - Daniel Dove brings Deborah home. - -[Illustration] - -But whither am I hurrying? It was not till the year 1761 that that -happy union was effected; and the fourteen years whose course of -events I have reluctantly, yet of necessity, pretermitted, bring us -only to 1748 in which year the Peace of Aix-la-Chapelle was made. -Peter Hopkins and Mrs. Hopkins were then both living, and Daniel had -not attained to the honors of his diploma. Before we come to the day -on which the bells rung that joyful peal, I must enter into some -details for the purpose of shewing how he became qualified for his -degree, and how he was enabled to take it; and it will be necessary -therefore to say something of the opportunities of instruction which -he enjoyed under Hopkins, and of the state of society in Doncaster at -that time. And preliminary to, as preparatory for all this, some -account is to be given of Doncaster itself. - -Reader, you may skip this preliminary account if you please, but it -will be to your loss if you do! You perhaps may be one of those -persons who can travel from Dan to Beersheba, and neither make enquiry -concerning, nor take notice of, any thing on the way; but, thank -Heaven, I cannot pass through Doncaster in any such mood of mind. If -however thou belongest to a better class, then may I promise that in -what is here to follow, thou wilt find something to recompense thee -for the little time thou wilt employ in reading it, were that time -more than it will be, or more valuable than it is. For I shall -assuredly either tell thee of something which thou didst not know -before; (and let me observe by the bye that I never obtained any -information of any kind, which did not on some occasion or other prove -available;)—or I shall waken up to pleasurable consciousness thy -napping knowledge. Snuff the candles therefore, if it be candle-light, -and they require it; (I hope, for thine eyes' sake, thou art not -reading by a lamp!)—stir the fire, if it be winter, and it be prudent -to refresh it with the poker; and then comfortably begin a new -chapter: - - _Faciam ut hujus loci semper memineris._[1] - -[Footnote 1: TERENCE.] - - - - -END OF VOL. I. - - - - -W. Nicol, Cleveland-row, St. James's. - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DOCTOR, &C., VOL. I (OF -7) *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following -the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use -of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for -copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very -easy. 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Thus, we do not -necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper -edition. - -Most people start at our website which has the main PG search -facility: www.gutenberg.org - -This website includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/old/69282-0.zip b/old/69282-0.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 81985f1..0000000 --- a/old/69282-0.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/69282-h.zip b/old/69282-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index b986dc6..0000000 --- a/old/69282-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/69282-h/69282-h.htm b/old/69282-h/69282-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index 6806a87..0000000 --- a/old/69282-h/69282-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,7959 +0,0 @@ - -<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> - -<html> -<head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> - <title>The Project Gutenberg e-Book of The Doctor, &c., by Anonymous</title> - <style type="text/css"> - <!-- - body {margin:10%; text-align:justify} - h1 {text-align:center} - h2 {text-align:center} - h3 {text-align:center} - h4 {text-align:center} - h5 {text-align:center} --> - </style> -</head> -<body> -<div lang='en' xml:lang='en'> -<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of <span lang='' xml:lang=''>The doctor, &c., vol. I (of 7)</span>, by Anonymous</p> -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: <span lang='' xml:lang=''>The doctor, &c., vol. I (of 7)</span></p> -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Anonymous</p> -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Contributor: Robert Southey</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: November 1, 2022 [eBook #69282]</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Ron Swanson</p> -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK <span lang='' xml:lang=''>THE DOCTOR, &C., VOL. I (OF 7)</span> ***</div> -<h1>THE DOCTOR,</h1> -<h2>&c.</h2> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<blockquote>There is a kind of physiognomy in the titles of books no less than in -the faces of men, by which a skilful observer will as well know what -to expect from the one as the other.</blockquote> - -<div align="right">B<small>UTLER'S</small> R<small>EMAINS</small>. - </div> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<h2>THE DOCTOR,</h2> -<h3>&c.</h3> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<center><img src="images/01.jpg" alt="logo"></center> -<br> -<br> -<h3>VOL. I.</h3> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<center>LONDON:<br> -<br> -LONGMAN, REES, ORME, BROWN, GREEN AND LONGMAN.<br> -<br> -1834.</center> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<center><small>LONDON:<br> -<br> -PRINTED BY W. NICOL, CLEVELAND-ROW, ST. JAMES'S.</small></center> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect01"></a> -<br> -<h3>PRELUDE OF MOTTOES.</h3> -<br> -<br> -<p>Now they that like it may: the rest may chuse.</p> - -<div align="right">G. W<small>ITHER</small>. </div> -<br> - -<p><i>Je veux à face descouverte qu'on sçache que je fay le fol. Et -pourquoy ne me le sera-t-il permis, si le grand Solon dans Athenes, ne -douta de le faire pour apporter un grand bien à sa Republique? La -Republique dont j'ay charge, est ce petit monde que Dieu a estably en -moy; pour la conservation duquel je ne scay meilleur moyen que de -tromper mes afflictions par quelques honnestes jeux d'esprit; -appellez-les bouffonneries si ainsi le voulez.</i></p> - -<div align="right">P<small>ASQUIER</small>. </div> -<br> - -<p>If you are so bold as to venture a blowing-up, look closely to it! for -the plot lies deadly deep, and 'twill be between your legs before you -be aware of it.—But of all things have a care of putting it in your -pocket, for fear it takes fire, or runs away with your breeches. And -if you can shun it, read it not when you are alone; or at least not -late in the evening; for the venom is strongest about midnight, and -seizes most violently upon the head when the party is by himself. I -shall not tell you one line of what is in it; and therefore consider -well what you do, and look to yourself. But if you be resolved to -meddle, be sure have a care of catching cold, and keep to a moderate -diet; for there is danger and jeopardy in it besides.</p> - -<div align="right">D<small>R</small>. E<small>ACHARD</small>. </div> -<br> - -<p>—For those faults of barbarism, Doric dialect, extemporanean stile, -tautologies, apish imitation, a rhapsody of rags gathered together -from several dung-hills, excrements of authors, toyes and fopperies, -confusedly tumbled out, without art, invention, judgement, wit, -learning, harsh, raw, rude, phantasticall, absurd, insolent, -indiscreet, ill-composed, indigested, vain, scurrile, idle, dull, and -dry:—I confess all; ('tis partly affected;) thou canst not think -worse of me than I do of myself. 'Tis not worth the reading! I yield -it. I desire thee not to lose time in perusing so vain a subject. I -should be peradventure loth myself to read him or thee so writing; -'tis not <i>operæ pretium</i>. All I say is this, that I have precedents -for it.</p> - -<div align="right">B<small>URTON</small>. </div> -<br> - -<p>A foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, -ideas, apprehensions, motions, revolutions; these are begot in the -ventricle of memory, nourished in the womb of <i>pia mater</i>, and -delivered upon the mellowing of the occasion. But the gift is good in -those in whom it is acute, and I am thankful for it.</p> - -<div align="right">L<small>OVE'S</small> L<small>ABOUR'S</small> -L<small>OST</small>. </div> -<br> - -<p>If the world like it not, so much the worse for them.</p> - -<div align="right">C<small>OWPER</small>. </div> -<br> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem1"> - <tr><td><i> - —un boschetto,<br> - Donne per quello givan fior cogliendo,<br> - Con diletto, co' quel, co' quel dicendo;<br> - Eccolo, eccol! . . che à?—è fiordaliso!<br> - Va là per le viole;<br> - Più colà per le rose, cole, cole,<br> - Vaghe amorose.<br> - O me, che' l prun mi punge!<br> - Quell' altra me v' aggiunge.<br> - U', ù, o, ch' è quel che salta?<br> - Un grillo! un grillo!<br> - Venite qua, correte,<br> - Ramponzoli cogliete;<br> - E' non con essi!<br> - Si, son!—colei o colei<br> - Vien qua, vien qua per funghi, un micolino<br> - Piu colà, più cola per sermollino.</i><br> - - - U<small>GOLINO</small> U<small>BALDINI</small> <i>or</i><br> - - - F<small>RANCO</small> S<small>ACCHETTI</small>.</td></tr> -</table><br> -<br> - -<p>If the particulars seem too large or to be over tediously insisted -upon, consider in how many impertinent and trifling discourses and -actions the best of us do consume far more hours than the perusal of -this requires minutes, and yet think it no tediousness: and let them -call to mind how many volumes this age imprints and reads which are -foolish if not wicked. Let them be persuaded likewise, that I have not -written this for those who have no need thereof, or to shew my own wit -or compendiousness but to instruct the ignorant; to whom I should more -often speak in vain, if I did not otherwhile by repetitions and -circumlocutions, stir up their affections, and beat into their -understandings the knowledge and feeling of those things which I -deliver. Yea, let them know that I know those expressions will be both -pleasing and profitable to some which they imagine to be needless and -superabundant; and that I had rather twenty nice critics should -censure me for a word here and there superfluous than that one of -those other should want that which might explain my meanings to their -capacities, and so make frustrate all my labour to those who have most -need of it, and for whom it was chiefly intended.</p> - -<div align="right">G. W<small>ITHER</small>. </div> -<br> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem2"> - <tr><td><i>Tempus ad hoc mecum latuit, portuque resedit,<br> - Nec fuit audaces impetus ire vias.<br> - Nunc animi venere; juvat nunc denique funem<br> - Solvere:——<br> - Ancora sublata est; terræ, portusque valete!<br> - Imus; habet ventos nostra carina suos.</i><br> - - - - - W<small>ALLIUS</small>.</td></tr> -</table><br> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect02"></a> -<br> -<h3>POSTSCRIPT.</h3> -<br> - -<p>There was a certain Pisander whose name has been preserved in one of -the proverbial sayings of the Greeks, because he lived in continual -fear of seeing his own ghost. How often have I seen mine while -arranging these volumes for publication, and carrying them through the -press!</p> - -<p>Twenty years have elapsed since the intention of composing them was -conceived, and the composition commenced, in what manner and in what -mood the reader will presently be made acquainted. The vicissitudes -which in the course of those years have befallen every country in -Europe are known to every one; and the changes, which, during such an -interval, must have occurred in a private family, there are few who -may not, from their own sad experience, readily apprehend.</p> - -<p>Circumstances which when they were touched upon in these volumes were -of present importance, and excited a lively interest, belong now to -the history of the past. They who were then the great performers upon -the theatre of public life have fretted their hour and disappeared -from the stage. Many who were living and flourishing when their names -were here sportively or severely introduced, are gone to their -account. The domestic circle which the introduction describes has in -the ordinary course of things been broken up; some of its members are -widely separated from others, and some have been laid to rest. The -reader may well believe that certain passages which were written with -most joyousness of heart, have been rendered purely painful to the -writer by time and change: and that some of his sweetest thoughts come -to him in chewing the cud, like wormwood and gall.—But it is a -wholesome bitterness.</p> - -<p>He has neither expunged nor altered any thing on any of these -accounts. It would be weakness to do this on the score of his own -remembrances, and in the case of allusions to public affairs and to -public men it would be folly. The Almanack of the current year will be -an old one as soon as next year begins.</p> - -<p>It is the writer's determination to remain unknown; and they who may -suppose that</p> - -<center><small>By certain signs here set in sundry place,</small></center> - -<p>they have discovered him, will deceive themselves. A Welsh Triad says -that the three unconcealable traits of a person by which he shall be -known, are the glance of his eye, the pronunciation of his speech, and -the mode of his self-motion;—in briefer English, his look, his voice, -and his gait. There are no such characteristics by which an author can -be identified. He must be a desperate mannerist who can be detected by -his style, and a poor proficient in his art if he cannot at any time -so vary it, as to put the critic upon a false scent. Indeed every -day's experience shews that they who assume credit to themselves, and -demand it from others for their discrimination in such things, are -continually and ridiculously mistaken.</p> - -<p>On that side the author is safe; he has a sure reliance upon the -honour as well as the discretion of the very few to whom he is -naturally or necessarily known; and if the various authors to whom the -Book will be ascribed by report, should derive any gratification from -the perusal, he requests of them in return that they will favour his -purpose by allowing such reports to pass uncontradicted.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<h3>CONTENTS.</h3> -<hr align="center" width="100"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect01">PRELUDE OF MOTTOES.</a></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect02">POSTSCRIPT.</a></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect03">CHAPTER VII. A. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>A FAMILY PARTY AT A NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR'S.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem3"> - <tr><td><small>Good Sir, reject it not, although it bring<br> - Appearances of some fantastic thing<br> - At first unfolding!<br> - - -G<small>EORGE</small> W<small>ITHER TO THE</small> K<small>ING</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect04">CHAPTER VI. A. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>SHEWING THAT AN AUTHOR MAY MORE EASILY BE KEPT AWAKE BY HIS OWN -IMAGINATIONS THAN PUT TO SLEEP BY THEM HIMSELF, WHATEVER MAY BE THEIR -EFFECT UPON HIS READERS.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>Thou sleepest worse than if a mouse should be forced to take up her -lodging in a cat's ear: a little infant that breeds its teeth, should -it lie with thee, would cry out as if thou wert the more unquiet -bedfellow.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>W<small>EBSTER</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect05">CHAPTER V. A. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>SOMETHING CONCERNING THE PHILOSOPHY OF DREAMS, AND THE AUTHOR'S -EXPERIENCE IN AERIAL HORSEMANSHIP.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem4"> - <tr><td><small>If a dream should come in now to make you afear'd,<br> - With a windmill on his head and bells at his beard,<br> - Would you straight wear your spectacles here at your toes,<br> - And your boots on your brows and your spurs on your nose?<br> - - - - - -B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect06">CHAPTER IV. A. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>A CONVERSATION AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small><i>Tel condamne mon coq-à-l'âne qui un jour en justifiera le bon sens.</i></small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>L<small>A</small> P<small>RETIEUSE</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect07">CHAPTER III. A. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>THE UTILITY OF POCKETS. A COMPLIMENT PROPERLY RECEIVED.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small><i>La tasca è propria cosa da Christiani.</i></small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>B<small>ENEDETTO</small> V<small>ARCHI</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect08">CHAPTER II. A. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>CONCERNING DEDICATIONS, PRINTERS TYPES, AND IMPERIAL INK.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small><i>Il y aura des clefs, et des ouvertures de mes secrets.</i></small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>L<small>A</small> P<small>RETIEUSE</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect09">DEDICATION.</a></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect10">CHAPTER I. A. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>NO BOOK CAN BE COMPLETE WITHOUT A PREFACE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem5"> - <tr><td><small>I see no cause but men may pick their teeth,<br> - Though Brutus with a sword did kill himself.<br> - - - -T<small>AYLOR</small>, <small>THE</small> W<small>ATER</small> P<small>OET</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect11">ANTE-PREFACE.</a></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>I here present thee with a hive of bees, laden some with wax, and some -with honey. Fear not to approach! There are no Wasps, there are no -Hornets here. If some wanton Bee should chance to buzz about thine -ears, stand thy ground and hold thy hands: there's none will sting -thee if thou strike not first. If any do, she hath honey in her bag -will cure thee too.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>Q<small>UARLES</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect12">PREFACE.</a></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small>Oh for a quill plucked from a Seraph's wing!</small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>Y<small>OUNG</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect13">INITIAL CHAPTER.</a></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small>᾿Εξ οὗ δὴ τὰ πρῶτα.</small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>H<small>OMER</small>. - </small></div> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<h2>THE DOCTOR,</h2> -<h3>&c.</h3> - -<hr align="center" width="100"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem6"> - <tr><td><small><i>Eccoti il libro; mettivi ben cura<br> - Iddio t' ajuti e dia buona ventura.</i><br> - - - -O<small>RL</small>. I<small>NNAM</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="100"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect14">CHAPTER I. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>THE SUBJECT OF THIS HISTORY AT HOME AND AT TEA.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>If thou be a severe sour complexioned man then I here disallow thee to -be a competent judge.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>I<small>ZAAK</small> W<small>ALTON</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect15">CHAPTER II. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<blockquote><center><small>WHEREIN CERTAIN QUESTIONS ARE PROPOSED CONCERNING TIME, PLACE AND -PERSONS.</small></center></blockquote> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small><i>Quis? quid? ubi? quibus auxiliis? cur? quomodo? quando?</i></small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>T<small>ECHNICAL</small> V<small>ERSE</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect16">CHAPTER III. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>WHOLESOME OBSERVATIONS UPON THE VANITY OF FAME.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>Whosoever shall address himself to write of matters of instruction, or -of any other argument of importance, it behoveth that before he enter -thereinto, he should resolutely determine with himself in what order -he will handle the same; so shall he best accomplish that he hath -undertaken, and inform the understanding, and help the memory of the -Reader.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>G<small>WILLIM'S</small> D<small>ISPLAY OF</small> H<small>ERALDRY</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect17">CHAPTER IV. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>BIRTH AND PARENTAGE OF DR. DOVE, WITH THE DESCRIPTION OF A YEOMAN'S -HOUSE IN THE WEST RIDING OF YORKSHIRE A HUNDRED YEARS AGO.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem7"> - <tr><td><small><i>Non possidentem multa vocaveris<br> - Recte beatum; rectius occupat<br> - Nomen beati, qui Deorum<br> - Muneribus sapienter uti,<br> - Duramque callet pauperiem pati,<br> - Pejusque letho flagitium timet.</i><br> - - - -H<small>ORACE</small>, L. 4, Od. 9.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect18">CHAPTER V. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>EXTENSION OF THE SCIENCE OF PHYSIOGNOMY, WITH SOME REMARKS UPON THE -PRACTICAL USES OF CRANIOLOGY.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small><i>Hanc ergo scientiam blande excipiamus, hilariterque amplectamur, ut -vere nostram et de nobismet ipsis tractantem; quam qui non amat, quam -qui non amplectitur, nec philosophiam amat, neque suæ vitæ discrimina -curat.</i></small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>B<small>APTISTA</small> P<small>ORTA</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect19">CHAPTER VI. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>A COLLECTION OF BOOKS NONE OF WHICH ARE INCLUDED AMONGST THE -PUBLICATIONS OF ANY SOCIETY FOR THE PROMOTION OF KNOWLEDGE RELIGIOUS -OR PROFANE.—HAPPINESS IN HUMBLE LIFE.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem8"> - <tr><td><small><i>Felix ille animi, divisque simillimus ipsis,<br> - Quem non mordaci resplendens gloria fuco<br> - Solicitat, non fastosi mala gaudia luxus,<br> - Sed tacitos sinit ire dies, et paupere cultu<br> - Exigit innocuæ tranquilla silentia vitæ.</i><br> - - - - -P<small>OLITIAN</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect20">CHAPTER VII. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>RUSTIC PHILOSOPHY. AN EXPERIMENT UPON MOONSHINE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem9"> - <tr><td><small><i>Quien comienza en juventud<br> - A bien obrar,<br> - Señal es de no errar<br> - En senetud.</i><br> - -P<small>ROVERBIOS DEL</small> M<small>ARQUES DE</small> S<small>ANTILLANA</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect21">CHAPTER VIII. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>A KIND SCHOOLMASTER AND A HAPPY SCHOOL BOY.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>Though happily thou wilt say that wands be to be wrought when they are -green, lest they rather break than bend when they be dry, yet know -also that he that bendeth a twig because he would see if it would bow -by strength may chance to have a crooked tree when he would have a -straight.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>E<small>UPHUES</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect22">INTERCHAPTER I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>REMARKS IN THE PRINTING OFFICE. THE AUTHOR CONFESSES A DISPOSITION TO -GARRULITY. PROPRIETY OF PROVIDING CERTAIN CHAPTERS FOR THE RECEPTION -OF HIS EXTRANEOUS DISCOURSE. CHOICE OF AN APPELLATION FOR SUCH -CHAPTERS.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem10"> - <tr><td><small><i>Perque vices aliquid, quod tempora longa videri<br> - Non sinat, in medium vacuas referamus ad aures.</i><br> - - - - - -O<small>VID</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect23">CHAPTER IX. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<blockquote><center><small>EXCEPTIONS TO ONE OF KING SOLOMON'S RULES—A WINTER'S EVENING AT -DANIEL'S FIRESIDE.</small></center></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>These are my thoughts; I might have spun them out into a greater -length, but I think a little plot of ground, thick sown, is better -than a great field which, for the most part of it, lies fallow.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>N<small>ORRIS</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect24">CHAPTER X. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>ONE WHO WAS NOT SO WISE AS HIS FRIENDS COULD HAVE WISHED, AND YET -QUITE AS HAPPY AS IF HE HAD BEEN WISER. NEPOTISM NOT CONFINED TO -POPES.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem11"> - <tr><td><small>There are of madmen as there are of tame,<br> - All humoured not alike.———Some<br> - Apish and fantastic;<br> - And though 'twould grieve a soul to see God's image<br> - So blemished and defaced, yet do they act<br> - Such antic and such pretty lunacies,<br> - That spite of sorrow, they will make you smile.<br> - - - - - -D<small>EKKER</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect25">CHAPTER XI. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>A WORD TO THE READER, SHEWING WHERE WE ARE, AND HOW WE CAME HERE, AND -WHEREFORE; AND WHITHER WE ARE GOING.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem12"> - <tr><td><small> -'Tis my venture<br> - On your retentive wisdom.<br> - - -B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect26">CHAPTER XII. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>A HISTORY NOTICED WHICH IS WRITTEN BACKWARD. THE CONFUSION OF TONGUES -AN ESPECIAL EVIL FOR SCHOOLBOYS.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem13"> - <tr><td><small>For never in the long and tedious tract<br> - Of slavish grammar was I made to plod;<br> - No tyranny of Rules my patience rackt;<br> - I served no prenticehood to any Rod;<br> - But in the freedom of the Practic way<br> - Learnt to go right, even when I went astray.<br> - - - -D<small>R</small>. B<small>EAUMONT</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect27">CHAPTER XIII. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>A DOUBT CONCERNING SCHOOL BOOKS, WHICH WILL BE DEEMED HERETICAL: AND -SOME ACCOUNT OF AN EXTRAORDINARY SUBSTITUTE FOR OVID OR VIRGIL.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>They say it is an ill mason that refuseth any stone; and there is no -knowledge but in a skilful hand serves, either positively as it is, or -else to illustrate some other knowledge.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>H<small>ERBERT'S</small> R<small>EMAINS</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect28">CHAPTER XIV. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>AN OBJECTION ANSWERED.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem14"> - <tr><td><small>Is this then your wonder?<br> - Nay then you shall under-<br> - stand more of my skill.<br> - - -B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect29">CHAPTER XV. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>THE AUTHOR VENTURES AN OPINION AGAINST THE PREVAILING WISDOM OF MAKING -CHILDREN PREMATURELY WISE.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem15"> - <tr><td><small> -Pray you, use your freedom;<br> - And so far, if you please allow me mine,<br> - To hear you only; not to be compelled<br> - To take your moral potions.<br> - - - -M<small>ASSINGER</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect30">CHAPTER XVI. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>USE AND ABUSE OF STORIES IN REASONING, WITH A WORD IN BEHALF OF -CHIMNEY-SWEEPERS AND IN REPROOF OF THE EARL OF LAUDERDALE.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>My particular inclination moves me in controversy especially to -approve his choice that said, <i>fortia mallem quam formosa</i>.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>D<small>R</small>. J<small>ACKSON</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect31">INTERCHAPTER II.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>ABALLIBOOZOBANGANORRIBO.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small><i>Io'l dico dunque, e dicol che ognun m'ode.</i></small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>B<small>ENEDETTO</small> V<small>ARCHI</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect32">CHAPTER XVII. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>THE HAPPINESS OF HAVING A CATHOLIC TASTE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem16"> - <tr><td><small> There's no want of meat, Sir;<br> - Portly and curious viands are prepared<br> - To please all kinds of appetites.<br> - - - -M<small>ASSINGER</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect33">CHAPTER XVIII. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>Τὰ δ᾿ἄν ἐπιμνησϑῶ,--ὑπὸ τοῦ λόγου ἐξαναγκαζὀμενος ἐπιμνησϑῄσομαι.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>H<small>ERODOTUS</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect34">CHAPTER XIX. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>A CONVERSATION WITH MISS GRAVEAIRS.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small><i>Operi suscepto inserviendum fuit;</i> so Jacobus Mycillus pleadeth for -himself in his translation of Lucian's Dialogues, and so do I; I must -and will perform my task.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>B<small>URTON</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect35">CHAPTER XX. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>HOW TO MAKE GOLD.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem17"> - <tr><td><small><i>L' Alchimista non travaglia a voto;<br> - Ei cerca l' oro, ei cerca l' oro, io dico<br> - Ch' ei cerca l' oro; e s' ei giungesse in porto<br> - Fora ben per se stesso e per altrui.<br> - L' oro e somma posanza infra mortali;<br> - Chiedine a Cavalier, chiedine a Dame,<br> - Chiedine a tutto il Mondo.</i><br> - - - -C<small>HIABRERA</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect36">CHAPTER XXI. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>A DOUBT CONCERNING THE USES OF PHILOSOPHY.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem18"> - <tr><td><small><i>El comienzo de salud<br> - es el saber,<br> - distinguir y conocer<br> - qual es virtud.</i><br> - -P<small>ROVERBIOS DEL</small> M<small>ARQUES DE</small> S<small>ANTILLANA</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect37">CHAPTER XXII. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center>Τὸν δ᾿ ἀπαμειβόμενος.</center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem19"> - <tr><td><small><i>O felice colui, che intender puote<br> - Le cagion de le cose di natura,<br> - Che al piu di que' che vivon sono ignote;<br> - E sotto il piè si mette ogni paura<br> - De fati, e de la morte, ch'è si trista,<br> - Ne di vulgo gli cal, nè d'altro ha cura.</i><br> - - - - -T<small>ANSILLO</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect38">CHAPTER XXIII. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>ROWLAND DIXON AND HIS COMPANY OF PUPPETS.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem20"> - <tr><td><small><i>Alli se ve tan eficaz el llanto,<br> - las fabulas y historias retratadas,<br> - que parece verdad, y es dulce encanto.</i><br> -<br> - * - * - * - * - *<br> -<br> - <i>Y para el vulgo rudo, que ignorante<br> - aborrece el manjar costoso, guisa<br> - el plato del gracioso extravagante;<br> -<br> - Con que les hartas de contento y risa,<br> - gustando de mirar sayal grossero,<br> - mas que sutil y candida camisa.</i><br> - - -J<small>OSEPH</small> O<small>RTIZ DE</small> V<small>ILLENA</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect39">CHAPTER XXIV. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>QUACK AND NO QUACK, BEING AN ACCOUNT OF DR. GREEN AND HIS MAN KEMP. -POPULAR MEDICINE, HERBARY, THEORY OF SIGNATURES, WILLIAM DOVE, JOHN -WESLEY, AND BAXTER.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem21"> - <tr><td><small>Hold thy hand! health's dear maintainer;<br> - Life perchance may burn the stronger:<br> - Having substance to maintain her<br> - She untouched may last the longer.<br> - When the Artist goes about<br> - To redress her flame, I doubt<br> - Oftentimes he snuffs it out.<br> - - - - -Q<small>UARLES</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect40">CHAPTER XXV. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><i>Hiatus valde lacrymabilis.</i></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem22"> - <tr><td><small> Time flies away fast,<br> - The while we never remember<br> - How soon our life here<br> - Grows old with the year<br> - That dies with the next December!<br> - - - -H<small>ERRICK</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect41">CHAPTER XXVI. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>DANIEL AT DONCASTER; THE REASON WHY HE WAS DESTINED FOR THE MEDICAL -PROFESSION, RATHER THAN HOLY ORDERS; AND SOME REMARKS UPON SERMONS.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small><i>Je ne veux dissimuler, amy Lecteur, que je n'aye bien préveu, et me -tiens pour deüement adverty, que ne puis eviter la reprehension -d'aucuns, et les calomnies de plusieurs, ausquels c'est éscrit -désplaira du tout.</i></small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>C<small>HRISTOFLE DE</small> H<small>ERICOURT</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect42">CHAPTER XXVII. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>A PASSAGE IN PROCOPIUS IMPROVED. A STORY CONCERNING URIM AND THUMMIM; -AND THE ELDER DANIEL'S OPINION OF THE PROFESSION OF THE LAW.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem23"> - <tr><td><small> -Here is Domine Picklock<br> - My man of Law, sollicits all my causes,<br> - Follows my business, makes and compounds my quarrels<br> - Between my tenants and me; sows all my strifes<br> - And reaps them too, troubles the country for me,<br> - And vexes any neighbour that I please.<br> - - - - -B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect43">CHAPTER XXVIII. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<blockquote><center><small>PETER HOPKINS. EFFECTS OF TIME AND CHANGE. DESCRIPTION OF HIS -DWELLING-HOUSE.</small></center></blockquote> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem24"> - <tr><td><small><i>Combien de changemens depuis que suis au monde,<br> - Qui n'est qu' un point du tems!</i><br> - - - - -P<small>ASQUIER</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect44">CHAPTER XXIX. P. I.</a></center> - -<blockquote><small>A HINT OF REMINISCENCE TO THE READER. THE CLOCK OF ST. GEORGE'S. A -WORD IN HONOR OF ARCHDEACON MARKHAM.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>There is a ripe season for every thing, and if you slip that or -anticipate it, you dim the grace of the matter be it never so good. As -we say by way of Proverb that an hasty birth brings forth blind -whelps, so a good tale tumbled out before the time is ripe for it, is -ungrateful to the hearer.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>B<small>ISHOP</small> H<small>ACKETT</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect45">CHAPTER XXX. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>THE OLD BELLS RUNG TO A NEW TUNE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small>If the bell have any sides the clapper will find 'em.</small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect46">CHAPTER XXXI. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<center><small>MORE CONCERNING BELLS.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem25"> - <tr><td><small>Lord, ringing changes all our bells hath marr'd;<br> - - Jangled they have and jarr'd<br> - So long, they're out of tune, and out of frame;<br> - - They seem not now the same.<br> - Put them in frame anew, and once begin<br> - To tune them so, that they may chime all in.<br> - - - - -H<small>ERBERT</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><a href="#sect47">CHAPTER XXXII. P. I.</a></center> -<br> -<blockquote><center><small>AN INTRODUCTION TO CERTAIN PRELIMINARIES ESSENTIAL TO THE PROGRESS OF -THIS WORK.</small></center></blockquote> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem26"> - <tr><td><small><i>Mas demos ya el assiento en lo importante,<br> - Que el tiempo huye del mundo por la posta.</i><br> - - - - -B<small>ALBUENA</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<h2>THE DOCTOR,</h2> -<h3>&c.</h3> - -<hr align="center" width="100"> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect03"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER VII. A. I.</h4> - -<center><small>A FAMILY PARTY AT A NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR'S.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem27"> - <tr><td><small>Good Sir, reject it not, although it bring<br> - Appearances of some fantastic thing<br> - At first unfolding!<br> - - -G<small>EORGE</small> W<small>ITHER TO THE</small> K<small>ING</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>I was in the fourth night of the story of the Doctor and his horse, -and had broken it off, not like Scheherezade because it was time to -get up, but because it was time to go to bed. It was at thirty-five -minutes after ten o'clock, on the 20th of July in the year of our Lord -1813. I finished my glass of punch, tinkled the spoon against its -side, as if making music to my meditations, and having my eyes fixed -upon the Bhow Begum, who was sitting opposite to me at the head of her -own table, I said, “It ought to be written in a Book!”</p> - -<p>There had been a heavy thunder-storm in the afternoon; and though the -thermometer had fallen from 78 to 70, still the atmosphere was -charged. If that mysterious power by which the nerves convey sensation -and make their impulses obeyed, be (as experiments seem to indicate) -identical with the galvanic fluid; and if the galvanic and electric -fluids be the same (as philosophers have more than surmised;) and if -the lungs (according to a happy hypothesis) elaborate for us from the -light of heaven this pabulum of the brain, and material essence, or -essential matter of genius,—it may be that the ethereal fire which I -had inhaled so largely during the day produced the bright conception, -or at least impregnated and quickened the latent seed. The punch, -reader, had no share in it.</p> - -<p>I had spoken as it were abstractedly, and the look which accompanied -the words was rather cogitative than regardant. The Bhow Begum laid -down her snuff-box and replied, entering into the feeling, as well as -echoing the words, “It <i>ought</i> to be written in a book,—certainly it -ought.”</p> - -<p>They may talk as they will of the dead languages. Our auxiliary verbs -give us a power which the ancients, with all their varieties of mood, -and inflections of tense, never could attain. “It <i>must</i> be written in -a book,” said I, encouraged by her manner. The mood was the same, the -tense was the same; but the gradation of meaning was marked in a way -which a Greek or Latin grammarian might have envied as well as -admired.</p> - -<p>“Pshaw! nonsense! stuff!” said my wife's eldest sister, who was -sitting at the right hand of the Bhow Begum; “I say write it in a book -indeed!” My wife's youngest sister was sitting diagonally opposite to -the last speaker: she lifted up her eyes and smiled. It was a smile -which expressed the same opinion as the late vituperative tones; there -was as much of incredulity in it; but more of wonder and less of -vehemence.</p> - -<p>My wife was at my left hand, making a cap for her youngest daughter, -and with her tortoiseshell-paper work-box before her. I turned towards -her and repeated the words, “It <i>must</i> be written in a book!” But I -smiled while I was speaking, and was conscious of that sort of meaning -in my eyes, which calls out contradiction for the pleasure of sporting -with it.</p> - -<p>“Write it in a book?” she replied, “I am sure you wo'nt!” and she -looked at me with a frown. Poets have written much upon their ladies' -frowns, but I do not remember that they have ever described the thing -with much accuracy. When my wife frowns two perpendicular wrinkles, -each three quarters of an inch in length, are formed in the forehead, -the base of each resting upon the top of the nose, and equi-distant -from each other. The poets have also attributed dreadful effects to -the frown of those whom they love. I cannot say that I ever -experienced any thing very formidable in my wife's. At present she -knew her eyes would give the lie to it if they looked at me steadily -for a moment; so they wheeled to the left about quick, off at a -tangent, in a direction to the Bhow Begum, and then she smiled. She -could not prevent the smile; but she tried to make it scornful.</p> - -<p>My wife's nephew was sitting diagonally with her, and opposite his -mother, on the left hand of the Bhow Begum. “Oh!” he exclaimed, “it -ought to be written in a book! it will be a glorious book! write it, -uncle, I beseech you!” My wife's nephew is a sensible lad. He reads my -writings, likes my stories, admires my singing, and thinks as I do in -politics:—a youth of parts and considerable promise.</p> - -<p>“He <i>will</i> write it!” said the Bhow Begum, taking up her snuff-box, -and accompanying the words with a nod of satisfaction and -encouragement. “He will never be so foolish!” said my wife. My wife's -eldest sister rejoined, “he is foolish enough for any thing.”</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect04"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER VI. A. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>SHEWING THAT AN AUTHOR MAY MORE EASILY BE KEPT AWAKE BY HIS OWN -IMAGINATIONS THAN PUT TO SLEEP BY THEM HIMSELF, WHATEVER MAY BE THEIR -EFFECT UPON HIS READERS.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>Thou sleepest worse than if a mouse should be forced to take up her -lodging in a cat's ear: a little infant that breeds its teeth, should -it lie with thee, would cry out as if thou wert the more unquiet -bedfellow.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>W<small>EBSTER</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>When I ought to have been asleep the “unborn pages crowded on my -soul.” The Chapters ante-initial and post-initial appeared in -delightful prospect “long drawn out:” the beginning, the middle and -the end were evolved before me: the whole spread itself forth, and -then the parts unravelled themselves and danced the hays. The very -types rose in judgment against me, as if to persecute me for the tasks -which during so many years I had imposed upon them. Capitals and small -letters, pica and long-primer, brevier and bourgeois, english and -nonpareil, minion and pearl, Romans and Italics, black-letter and red, -past over my inward sight. The notes of admiration!!! stood straight -up in view as I lay on the one side; and when I turned on the other to -avoid them, the notes of interrogation cocked up their hump-backs??? -Then came to recollection the various incidents of the eventful tale. -“Visions of glory spare my aching sight!” The various personages, like -spectral faces in a fit of the vapours, stared at me through my -eyelids. The Doctor oppressed me like an incubus; and for the -Horse,—he became a perfect night-mare. “Leave me, leave me to repose!”</p> - -<p>Twelve by the kitchen clock!—still restless!—One! O Doctor, for one -of thy comfortable composing draughts!—Two! here's a case of -insomnolence! I, who in summer close my lids as instinctively as the -daisy when the sun goes down; and who in winter could hybernate as -well as Bruin, were I but provided with as much fat to support me -during the season, and keep the wick of existence burning:—I, who, if -my pedigree were properly made out, should be found to have descended -from one of the Seven Sleepers, and from the Sleeping Beauty in the Wood!</p> - -<p>I put my arms out of bed. I turned the pillow for the sake of applying -a cold surface to my cheek. I stretched my feet into the cold corner. -I listened to the river, and to the ticking of my watch. I thought of -all sleepy sounds and all soporific things: the flow of water, the -humming of bees, the motion of a boat, the waving of a field of corn, -the nodding of a mandarine's head on the chimney-piece, a horse in a -mill, the opera, Mr. Humdrum's conversation, Mr. Proser's poems, Mr. -Laxative's speeches, Mr. Lengthy's sermons. I tried the device of my -own childhood, and fancied that the bed revolved with me round and -round. Still the Doctor visited me as perseveringly as if I had been -his best patient; and, call up what thoughts I would to keep him off, -the Horse charged through them all.</p> - -<p>At last Morpheus reminded me of Dr. Torpedo's divinity lectures, where -the voice, the manner, the matter, even the very atmosphere, and the -streamy candle-light were all alike somnific;—where he who by strong -effort lifted up his head, and forced open the reluctant eyes, never -failed to see all around him fast asleep. Lettuces, cowslip-wine, -poppy-syrup, mandragora, hop-pillows, spiders'-web pills, and the -whole tribe of narcotics, up to bang and the black drop, would have -failed: but this was irresistible; and thus twenty years after date I -found benefit from having attended the course.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect05"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER V. A. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>SOMETHING CONCERNING THE PHILOSOPHY OF DREAMS, AND THE AUTHOR'S -EXPERIENCE IN AERIAL HORSEMANSHIP.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem28"> - <tr><td><small>If a dream should come in now to make you afear'd,<br> - With a windmill on his head and bells at his beard,<br> - Would you straight wear your spectacles here at your toes,<br> - And your boots on your brows and your spurs on your nose?<br> - - - - - -B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>The wise ancients held that dreams are from Jove. Virgil hath told us -from what gate of the infernal regions they go out, but at which of -the five entrances of the town of Mansoul they get in John Bunyan hath -not explained. Some have conceited that unembodied spirits have access -to us during sleep, and impress upon the passive faculty, by divine -permission, presentiments of those things whereof it is fitting that -we should be thus dimly forewarned. This opinion is held by Baxter, -and to this also doth Bishop Newton incline. The old atomists supposed -that the likenesses or spectres of corporeal things, (<i>exuviæ scilicet -rerum, vel effluvia</i>, as they are called by Vaninus, when he takes -advantage of them to explain the <i>Fata Morgana</i>) the atomists I say, -supposed that these spectral forms which are constantly emitted from -all bodies,</p> - -<center><small><i>Omne genus quoniam passim simulacra feruntur</i><small><sup>1</sup></small></small></center> - -<p>assail the soul when she ought to be at rest; according to which -theory all the lathered faces that are created every morning in the -looking-glass, and all the smiling ones that my Lord Simper and Mr. -Smallwit contemplate there with so much satisfaction during the day, -must at this moment be floating up and down the world. Others again -opine, as if in contradiction to those who pretend life to be a dream, -that dreams are realities, and that sleep sets the soul free like a -bird from a cage. John Henderson saw the spirit of a slumbering cat -pass from her in pursuit of a visionary mouse;—(I know not whether he -would have admitted the fact as an argument for materialism); and the -soul of Hans Engelbrecht not only went to hell, but brought back from -it a stench which proved to all the bystanders that it had been -there.—Faugh!</p> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> Lucretius.</small></blockquote> - -<p>Whether then my spirit that night found its way out at the nose, (for -I sleep with my mouth shut) and actually sallied out seeking -adventures; or whether the spectrum of the Horse floated into my -chamber; or some benevolent genius or dæmon assumed the well-known and -welcome form; or whether the dream were merely a dream,—</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem29"> - <tr><td><small><i>si fuè en espiritu, ò fuè<br> - en cuerpo, no sè; que yo<br> - solo sè, que no lo sè;</i><small><sup>2</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>so however it was that in the visions of the night I mounted Nobs. -Tell me not of Astolfo's hippogriff, or Pacolet's wooden steed; nor</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem30"> - <tr><td><small>Of that wonderous horse of brass<br> - Whereon the Tartar King did pass;</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>nor of Alborak, who was the best beast for a night-journey that ever -man bestrode. Tell me not even of Pegasus! I have ridden him many a -time; by day and by night have I ridden him; high and low, far and -wide, round the earth, and about it, and over it, and under it. I know -all his earth-paces, and his sky-paces. I have tried him at a walk, at -an amble, at a trot, at a canter, at a hand-gallop, at full gallop and -at full speed. I have proved him in the <i>manége</i> with single turns and -the <i>manége</i> with double turns, his bounds, his curvets, his -<i>pirouettes</i>, and his <i>pistes</i>, his <i>croupade</i> and his <i>balotade</i>, his -gallop-galliard and his capriole. I have been on him when he has -glided through the sky with wings outstretched and motionless, like a -kite or a summer cloud; I have bestrode him when he went up like a -bittern with a strong spiral flight, round, round and round, and -upward, upward, upward, circling and rising still; and again when he -has gone full sail, or full fly, with his tail as straight as a -comet's behind him. But for a hobby or a night horse, Pegasus is -nothing to Nobs.</p> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>2</sup></small> Calderon.</small></blockquote> - -<p>Where did we go on that memorable night? What did we see?—What did we -do?—Or rather what did we not see! and what did we not perform!</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect06"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER IV. A. I.</h4> - -<center><small>A CONVERSATION AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small><i>Tel condamne mon coq-à-l'âne qui un jour en justifiera le bon sens.</i></small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>L<small>A</small> P<small>RETIEUSE</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>I went down to breakfast as usual overflowing with joyous thoughts. -For mirth and for music the skylark is but a type of me. I warbled a -few wood notes wild, and then full of the unborn work, addressed -myself to my wife's eldest sister, and asked if she would permit me to -dedicate the Book to her. “What book?” she replied. “The History,” -said I, “of Dr. Daniel Dove of Doncaster, and his Horse Nobs.” She -answered, “No indeed! I will have no such nonsense dedicated to -me!”—and with that she drew up her upper lip, and the lower region of -the nose. I turned to my wife's youngest sister: “Shall I have the -pleasure of dedicating it to you?” She raised her eyes, inclined her -head forwards with a smile of negation, and begged leave to decline -the honour. “Commandante,” said I, to my wife and Commandress, “shall -I dedicate it then to you?” My Commandante made answer, “not unless -you have something better to dedicate.”</p> - -<p>“So Ladies!” said I; “the stone which the builders rejected,”—and -then looking at my wife's youngest sister—“Oh, it will be such a -book!” The manner and the tone were so much in earnest that they -arrested the bread and butter on the way to her mouth; and she -exclaimed, with her eyes full of wonder and incredulity at the same -time, “Why you never can be serious?” “Not serious?” said I; “why I -have done nothing but think of it and dream of it the whole night.” -“He told me so,” rejoined my Commandante, “the first thing in the -morning.” “Ah Stupey!” cried my wife's eldest sister, accompanying the -compliment with a protrusion of the head, and an extension of the -lips, which disclosed not only the whole remaining row of teeth, but -the chasms that had been made in it by the tooth drawer; <i>hiatus valde -lacrymabiles</i>.</p> - -<p>“Two volumes,” said I, “and this in the title-page!” So taking out my -pencil, I drew upon the back of a letter the mysterious monogram, -erudite in its appearance as the digamma of Mr. A. F. Valpy.</p> - -<center><img src="images/01.jpg" alt="logo"></center> - -<p>It past from hand to hand. “Why he is not in earnest?” said my wife's -youngest sister. “He never can be,” replied my wife. And yet beginning -to think that peradventure I was, she looked at me with a quick turn -of the eye,—“a pretty subject indeed for you to employ your time -upon! You,—<i>vema whehaha yohu almad otenba twandri athancod!</i>” I have -thought proper to translate this part of my Commandante's speech into -the Garamna tongue.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect07"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER III. A. I.</h4> - -<center><small>THE UTILITY OF POCKETS. A COMPLIMENT PROPERLY RECEIVED.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small><i>La tasca è propria cosa da Christiani.</i></small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>B<small>ENEDETTO</small> V<small>ARCHI</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>My eldest daughter had finished her Latin lessons, and my son had -finished his Greek; and I was sitting at my desk, pen in hand, and in -mouth at the same time, (a substitute for biting the nails which I -recommend to all onygophagists;) when the Bhow Begum came in with her -black velvet reticule, suspended as usual from her arm by its silver chain.</p> - -<p>Now of all the inventions of the Tailor (who is of all artists the -most inventive) I hold the pocket to be the most commodious, and -saving the fig leaf, the most indispensible. Birds have their craw; -ruminating beasts their first or ante-stomach; the monkey has his -cheek, the opossum her pouch; and, so necessary is some convenience of -this kind for the human animal, that the savage who cares not for -clothing makes for himself a pocket if he can. The Hindoo carries his -snuff-box in his turban. Some of the inhabitants of Congo make a secret -fob in their wooly toupet, of which as P. Labat says, the worst use -they make is—to carry poison in it. The Matolas, a long haired race -who border upon the Caffres, form their locks into a sort of hollow -cylinder in which they bear about their little implements; certes a -more sensible bag than such as is worn at court. The New Zealander is -less ingenious; he makes a large opening in his ear, and carries his -knife in it. The Ogres, who are worse than savages, and whose -ignorance and brutality is in proportion to their bulk, are said, upon -the authority of tradition, when they have picked up a stray traveller -or two more than they require for their supper, to lodge them in a -hollow tooth as a place of security till breakfast; whence it may be -inferred that they are not liable to tooth ache, and that they make no -use of tooth-picks. Ogres, Savages, Beasts and Birds all require -something to serve the purpose of a pocket. Thus much for the -necessity of the thing. Touching its antiquity much might be said; for -it would not be difficult to show, with that little assistance from -the auxiliaries <i>must</i> and <i>have</i> and <i>been</i> which enabled Whitaker of -Manchester to write whole quartos of hypothetical history in the -potential mood, that pockets are coeval with clothing: and, as erudite -men have maintained that language and even letters are of divine -origin, there might with like reason be a conclusion drawn from the -twenty-first verse of the third chapter of the book of Genesis, which -it would not be easy to impugn. Moreover Nature herself shows us the -utility, the importance, nay the indispensability, or, to take a hint -from the pure language of our diplomatists, the <i>sinequanonniness</i> of -pockets. There is but one organ which is common to all animals -whatsoever: some are without eyes, many without noses; some have no -heads, others no tails; some neither one nor the other; some there are -who have no brains, others very pappy ones; some no hearts, others -very bad ones; but all have a stomach,—and what is the stomach but a -live inside pocket? Hath not Van Helmont said of it, “<i>saccus vel pera -est, ut ciborum olla?</i>”</p> - -<p>Dr. Towers used to have his coat pockets made of capacity to hold a -quarto volume—a wise custom; but requiring stout cloth, good buckram, -and strong thread well waxed. I do not so greatly commend the humour -of Dr. Ingenhouz, whose coat was lined with pockets of all sizes, -wherein, in his latter years, when science had become to him as a -plaything, he carried about various materials for chemical -experiments: among the rest so many compositions for fulminating -powders in glass tubes, separated only by a cork in the middle of the -tube, that, if any person had unhappily given him a blow with a stick, -he might have blown up himself and the Doctor too. For myself, four -coat pockets of the ordinary dimensions content me; in these a -sufficiency of conveniences may be carried, and that sufficiency -methodically arranged. For mark me, gentle or ungentle Reader! there -is nothing like method in pockets, as well as in composition: and what -orderly and methodical man would have his pocket-handkerchief, and his -pocket-book, and the key of his door (if he be a batchelor living in -chambers) and his knife, and his loose pence and half-pence, and the -letters which peradventure he might just have received, or -peradventure he may intend to drop in the post-office, two-penny or -general, as he passes by, and his snuff, if he be accustomed so to -regale his olfactory conduits, or his tobacco-box, if he prefer the -masticable to the pulverized weed; or his box of lozenges if he should -be troubled with a tickling cough; and the sugar-plumbs and the -gingerbread nuts which he may be carrying home to his own children, or -to any other small men and women upon whose hearts he may have a -design;—who I say would like to have all this in chaos and confusion, -one lying upon the other, and the thing which is wanted first fated -alway to be undermost!—(Mr. Wilberforce knows the inconvenience;—) -the snuff working its way out to the gingerbread, the sugar-plumbs -insinuating themselves into the folds of the pocket-handkerchief, the -pence grinding the lozenges to dust for the benefit of the -pocket-book, and the door key busily employed in unlocking the -letters?</p> - -<p>Now, forasmuch as the commutation of female pockets for the reticule -leadeth to inconveniences like this, (not to mention that the very -name of commutation ought to be held in abhorrence by all who hold -day-light and fresh air essential to the comfort and salubrity of -dwelling-houses,) I abominate that bag of the Bhow Begum, -notwithstanding the beauty of the silver chain upon the black velvet. -And perceiving at this time that the clasp of its silver setting was -broken, so that the mouth of the bag was gaping pitiably, like a sick -or defunct oyster, I congratulated her as she came in upon this -farther proof of the commodiousness of the invention; for here, in the -country, there is no workman who can mend that clasp, and the bag must -therefore either be laid aside, or used in that deplorable state.</p> - -<p>When the Bhow Begum had seated herself I told her how my proffered -dedication had been thrice rejected with scorn, and repeating the -offer I looked for a more gracious reply. But, as if scorn had been -the influenza of the female mind that morning, she answered, “No; -indeed she would not have it after it had been refused by every body -else.” “Nay, nay,” said I; “it is as much in your character to accept, -as it was in their's to refuse.” While I was speaking she took a pinch -of snuff; the nasal titillation co-operated with my speech, for when -any one of the senses is pleased, the rest are not likely to continue -out of humour. “Well,” she replied, “I will have it dedicated to me, -because I shall delight in the book.” And she powdered the carpet with -tobacco dust as she spake.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect08"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER II. A. I.</h4> - -<center><small>CONCERNING DEDICATIONS, PRINTERS TYPES AND IMPERIAL INK.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small><i>Il y aura des clefs, et des ouvertures de mes secrets.</i></small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>L<small>A</small> P<small>RETIEUSE</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Monsieur Dellon, having been in the Inquisition at Goa, dedicated an -account of that tribunal, and of his own sufferings to Mademoiselle Du -Cambout de Coislin, in these words:</p> - -<blockquote><i> Mademoiselle</i></blockquote> - -<blockquote><i>J'aurois tort de me plaindre des rigueurs de l'Inquisition, et des -mauvais traitemens que j'ay éprouvez de la part de ses ministres, -puisqu'en me fournissant la matiére de cet ouvrage, ils m'ont procuré -l'avantage de vous le dedier.</i></blockquote> - -<p>This is the book which that good man Claudius Buchanan with so much -propriety put into the hands of the Grand Inquisitor of India, when he -paid him a visit at the Inquisition, and asked him his opinion of the -accuracy of the relation upon the spot!</p> - -<p>The Frenchman's compliment may truly be said to have been far-fetched -and dearly bought. Heaven forefend that I should either go so far for -one, or purchase it at such a price!</p> - -<p>A dedication has oftentimes cost the unhappy author a greater -consumption of thumb and finger-nail than the whole book besides, and -all varieties of matter and manner have been resorted to. Mine must be -so far in character with the delectable history which it introduces -that it shall be unlike all which have ever gone before it. I knew a -man, (one he was who would have been an ornament to his country if -methodism and madness had not combined to overthrow a bright and -creative intellect) who, in one of his insaner moods, printed a sheet -and a half of muddy rhapsodies with the title of the “Standard of God -Displayed:” and he prefaced it by saying that the price of a perfect -book, upon a perfect subject, ought to be a perfect sum in a perfect -coin; that is to say one guinea. Now as Dr. Daniel Dove was a perfect -Doctor, and his horse Nobs was a perfect horse, and as I humbly hope -their history will be a perfect history, so ought the Dedication -thereunto to be perfect in its kind. Perfect therefore it shall be, as -far as kalotypography can make it. For though it would be hopeless to -exceed all former Dedications in the turn of a compliment or of a -sentence, in the turn of the letters it is possible to exceed them -all. It was once my fortune to employ a printer who had a love for his -art; and having a taste that way myself, we discussed the merits of a -new font one day when I happened to call in upon him. I objected to -the angular inclination of a capital italic <i>A</i> which stood upon its -pins as if it were starting aghast from the next letter on the left, -and was about to tumble upon that to the right; in which case down -would go the rest of the word, like a row of soldiers which children -make with cards. My printer was too deeply enamoured with the beauties -of his font, to have either ear or eye for its defects; and hastily -waiving that point he called my attention to a capital <i>R</i> in the same -line, which cocked up its tail just as if it had been nicked; that -cock of the tail had fascinated him. “Look Sir,” said he, while his -eyes glistened with all the ardour of an amateur; “look at that -turn!—that's sweet, Sir!” and drawing off the hand with the -forefinger of which he had indicated it, he described in the air the -turn that had delighted him, in a sort of heroic flourish, his head -with a diminished axis, like the inner stile of a Pentegraph, -following the movement. I have never seen that <i>R</i> since without -remembering him. ** *** ** **** ** *** ******** ** *** ***** ******* -** *******, *** ********* *****, ***, *** ** *** ******* ***** ** -**********, *** *** *******. He who can read the stars, may read in -them the secret which he seeketh.</p> - -<p>But the turns of my Dedication to the Bhow Begum shall not be trusted -to the letter founders, a set of men remarkable for involving their -craft in such mystery that no one ever taught it to another, every one -who has practised it having been obliged either surreptitiously to -obtain the secret, or to invent a method for himself. It shall be in -the old English letter, not only because that alphabet hath in its -curves and angles, its frettings and redundant lines, a sort of -picturesque similitude with Gothic architecture, but also because in -its breadth and beauty it will display the colour of the ink to most -advantage. For the Dedication shall not be printed in black after the -ordinary fashion, nor in white like the Sermon upon the Excise Laws, -nor in red after the mode of Mr. Dibdin's half titles, but in the -colour of that imperial encaustic ink, which by the laws of the Roman -Empire it was death for any but the Roman Emperor himself to use. We -Britons live in a free country, wherein every man may use what -coloured ink seemeth good to him, and put as much gall in it as he -pleases, or any other ingredient whatsoever. Moreover this is an -imperial age, in which to say nothing of M. Ingelby the Emperor of the -Conjurors, we have seen no fewer than four new Emperors. He of Russia -who did not think the old title of Peter the Great good enough for -him: he of France, for whom any name but that of Tyrant or Murderer is -too good; he of Austria who took up one imperial appellation to cover -over the humiliating manner in which he laid another down; and he of -Hayti, who if he be wise will order all public business to be carried -on in the talkee-talkee tongue, and make it high treason for any -person to speak or write French in his dominions. We also must dub our -old Parliament imperial forsooth! that we may not be behindhand with -the age. Then we have Imperial Dining Tables! Imperial Oil for -nourishing the hair! Imperial Liquid for Boot Tops! Yea, and, by all -the Cæsars deified and damnified, Imperial Blacking! For my part I -love to go with the stream, so I will have an Imperial Dedication.</p> - -<p>Behold it Reader. Therein is mystery.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect09"></a> -<br> -<center><img src="images/02.jpg" alt="logo"></center><br> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect10"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER I. A. I.</h4> - -<center><small>NO BOOK CAN BE COMPLETE WITHOUT A PREFACE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem31"> - <tr><td><small>I see no cause but men may pick their teeth,<br> - Though Brutus with a sword did kill himself.<br> - - - -T<small>AYLOR</small>, <small>THE</small> W<small>ATER</small> P<small>OET</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Who was the Inventor of Prefaces? I shall be obliged to the immortal -Mr. Urban, (immortal, because like the king in law he never dies) if -he will propound this question for me in his Magazine, that great -lumber-room wherein small ware of all kinds has been laid up -higgledy-piggledy by half-penny-worths or farthing-worths at a time -for fourscore years, till like broken glass, rags, or rubbish it has -acquired value by mere accumulation. To send a book like this into the -world without a Preface would be as impossible as it is to appear at -Court without a bag at the head and a sword at the tail, for as the -perfection of dress must be shown at Court, so in this history should -the perfection of histories be exhibited. The book must be <i>omni -genere absolutum;</i> it must prove and exemplify the perfectibility of -books: yea with all imaginable respect for the “Delicate -Investigation,” which I leave in undisputed possession of an -appellation so exquisitely appropriate, I conceive that the title of -<small>THE</small> B<small>OOK</small>, as a popular designation κατ᾿ εξοχην, should be -transferred from the edifying report of that Inquiry, to the present -unique, unrivalled and unrivalable production;—a production the like -whereof hath not been, is not, and will not be. Here however let me -warn my Greek and Arabian translators how they render the word, that -if they offend the Mufti or the Patriarch, the offence as well as the -danger may be theirs: I wash my hands of both. I write in plain -English, innocently and in the simplicity of my heart: what may be -made of it in heathen languages concerns not me.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect11"></a> -<br> -<h4>ANTE-PREFACE.</h4> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>I here present thee with a hive of bees, laden some with wax, and some -with honey. Fear not to approach! There are no Wasps, there are no -Hornets here. If some wanton Bee should chance to buzz about thine -ears, stand thy ground and hold thy hands: there's none will sting -thee if thou strike not first. If any do, she hath honey in her bag -will cure thee too.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>Q<small>UARLES</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Prefaces, said Charles Blount, Gent., who committed suicide because -the law would not allow him to marry his brother's widow,—(a law, be -it remarked in passing, which is not sanctioned by reason, and which -instead of being in conformity with scripture, is in direct opposition -to it, being in fact the mere device of a corrupt and greedy -church)—“Prefaces,” said this flippant, ill-opinioned and unhappy -man, “ever were, and still are but of two sorts, let other modes and -fashions vary as they please. Let the profane long peruke succeed the -godly cropt hair; the cravat, the ruff; presbytery, popery; and popery -presbytery again, yet still the author keeps to his old and wonted -method of prefacing; when at the beginning of his book he enters, -either with a halter about his neck, submitting himself to his -reader's mercy whether he shall be hanged, or no; or else in a huffing -manner he appears with the halter in his hand, and threatens to hang -his reader, if he gives him not his good word. This with the -excitement of some friends to his undertaking, and some few apologies -for want of time, books, and the like, are the constant and usual -shams of all scribblers as well ancient as modern.”—This was not true -then, nor is it now; but when he proceeds to say, “for my part I enter -the lists upon another score,”—so say I with him; and my Preface -shall say the rest.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect12"></a> -<br> -<h4>PREFACE.</h4> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small>Oh for a quill plucked from a Seraph's wing!</small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>Y<small>OUNG</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>So the Poet exclaimed; and his exclamation may be quoted as one -example more of the vanity of human wishes; for in order to get a -Seraph's quill it would be necessary, according to Mrs. Glasse's -excellent item in her directions for roasting a hare, to begin by -catching a Seraph. A quill from a Seraph's wing is, I confess, above -my ambition; but one from a Peacock's tail was within my reach; and be -it known unto all people, nations and languages, that with a Peacock's -quill this Preface hath been penned—literally—truly, and -<i>bona-fidely</i> speaking. And this is to write, as the learned old -Pasquier says, <i>pavonesquement</i>, which in latin minted for the nonce -may be rendered <i>pavonicè</i> and in English peacockically or -peacockishly, whichever the reader may like best. That such a pen has -verily and indeed been used upon this occasion I affirm. I affirm it -upon the word of a true man; and here is a Captain of his Majesty's -Navy at my elbow, who himself made the pen, and who, if evidence were -required to the fact, would attest it by as round an oath as ever -rolled over a right English tongue. Nor will the time easily escape -his remembrance, the bells being at this moment ringing, June 4, 1814, -to celebrate the King's birthday, and the public notification that -peace has been concluded with France.</p> - -<p>I have oftentimes had the happiness of seeing due commendation -bestowed by gentle critics, unknown admirers and partial friends upon -my pen, which has been married to all amiable epithets:—classical, -fine, powerful, tender, touching, pathetic, strong, fanciful, daring, -elegant, sublime, beautiful. I have read these epithets with that -proper satisfaction which when thus applied they could not fail to -impart, and sometimes qualified the pride which they inspired by -looking at the faithful old tool of the Muses beside me, worn to the -stump in their service: the one end mended up to the quick in that -spirit of œconomy which becomes a son of the Lackland family, and -shortened at the other by the gradual and alternate processes of -burning and biting, till a scant inch only is left above the finger -place. Philemon Holland was but a type of me in this respect. Indeed I -may be allowed to say that I have improved upon his practice, or at -least that I get more out of a pen than he did, for in the engraved -title-page to his Cyrupædia, where there appears the Portrait of the -<i>Interpres</i> marked by a great D inclosing the Greek letter Φ (which -I presume designates Doctor Philemon) <i>ætatis suæ</i> 80. A°. -1632, it may be plainly seen that he used his pen only at one end. -Peradventure he delighted not, as I do, in the mitigated ammoniac odour.</p> - -<p>But thou, O gentle reader, who in the exercise of thy sound judgment -and natural benignity wilt praise this Preface, thou mayest with -perfect propriety bestow the richest epithets upon the pen wherewith -its immortal words were first clothed in material forms. Beautiful, -elegant, fine, splendid, fanciful, will be to the very letter of -truth: versatile it is as the wildest wit; flexible as the most -monkey-like talent; and shouldst thou call it tender, I will whisper -in thine ear—that it is only too soft. Yet softness may be suitable; -for of my numerous readers one half will probably be soft by sex, and -of the other half a very considerable proportion soft by nature. Soft -therefore be the Pen and soft the strain.</p> - -<p>I have drawn up the window-blinds (though sunshine at this time acts -like snuff upon the mucous membrane of my nose) in order that the -light may fall upon this excellent Poet's wand as I wave it to and -fro, making cuts five and six of the broad-sword exercise. Every -feather of its fringe is now lit up by the sun; the hues of green and -gold and amethyst are all brought forth; and that predominant lustre -which can only be likened to some rich metallic oxyd; and that spot of -deepest purple, the pupil of an eye for whose glorious hue neither -metals nor flowers nor precious stones afford a resemblance: its -likeness is only to be found in animated life, in birds and insects -whom nature seems to have formed when she was most prodigal of beauty: -I have seen it indeed upon the sea, but it has been in some quiet bay -when the reflection of the land combined with the sky and the ocean to -produce it.</p> - -<p>And what can be more emblematic of the work which I am beginning than -the splendid instrument wherewith the Preface is traced? What could -more happily typify the combination of parts each perfect in itself -when separately considered, yet all connected into one harmonious -whole; the story running through like the stem or back-bone, which the -episodes and digressions fringe like so many featherlets, leading up -to that catastrophe, the gem or eye-star, for which the whole was -formed, and in which all terminate.</p> - -<p>They who are versed in the doctrine of sympathies and the arcana of -correspondences as revealed to the Swedish Emanuel, will doubtless -admire the instinct or inspiration which directed my choice to the -pavonian Pen. The example should be followed by all consumers of ink -and quill. Then would the lover borrow a feather from the turtle dove. -The lawyer would have a large assortment of kite, hawk, buzzard and -vulture: his clients may use pigeon or gull. Poets according to their -varieties. Mr. —— the Tom Tit. Mr. —— the Water-wagtail. Mr. —— -the Crow. Mr. —— the Mocking-bird. Mr. —— the Magpie. Mr. —— the -Sky-lark. Mr. —— the Eagle. Mr. —— the Swan. Lord —— the Black -Swan. Critics some the Owl, others the Butcher Bird. Your challenger -must indite with one from the wing of a game cock: he who takes -advantage of a privileged situation to offer the wrong and shrink from -the atonement will find a white feather. Your dealers in public and -private scandal, whether Jacobins or Anti-Jacobins, the pimps and -pandars of a profligate press should use none but duck feathers, and -those of the dirtiest that can be found in the purlieus of Pimlico or -St. George's Fields. But for the Editor of the Edinburgh Review, -whether he dictates in morals or in taste, or displays his peculiar -talent in political prophecy, he must continue to use goose quills. -Stick to the goose Mr. Jeffrey, while you live stick to the Goose!</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect13"></a> -<br> -<h4>INITIAL CHAPTER.</h4> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small>᾿Εξ οὗ δὴ τὰ πρῶτα.</small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>H<small>OMER</small>. - </small></div> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>They who remember the year 1800 will remember also the great -controversy whether it was the beginning of a century, or the end of -one; a controversy in which all Magazines, all Newspapers, and all -persons took part. Now as it has been deemed expedient to divide this -work, or to speak more emphatically this Opus, or more emphatically -still this Ergon, into Chapters Ante-Initial and Post-Initial, a -dispute of the same nature might arise among the commentators in after -ages, if especial care were not now taken to mark distinctly the -beginning. This therefore is the Initial Chapter, neither Ante nor -Post, but standing between both; the point of initiation, the goal of -the <i>Antes</i>, the starting place of the <i>Posts;</i> the mark at which the -former end their career, and from whence the latter take their -departure.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<h2>THE DOCTOR,</h2> -<h3>&c.</h3> - -<hr align="center" width="100"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem32"> - <tr><td><small><i>Eccoti il libro; mettivi ben cura<br> - Iddio t' ajuti e dia buona ventura.</i><br> - - - -O<small>RL</small>. I<small>NNAM</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="100"> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect14"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER I. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>THE SUBJECT OF THIS HISTORY AT HOME AND AT TEA.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>If thou be a severe sour complexioned man then I here disallow thee to -be a competent judge.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>I<small>ZAAK</small> W<small>ALTON</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>The clock of St. George's had struck five. Mrs. Dove had just poured -out the Doctor's seventh cup of tea. The Doctor was sitting in his -arm-chair. Sir Thomas was purring upon his knees; and Pompey stood -looking up to his mistress, wagging his tail, sometimes whining with a -short note of impatience, and sometimes gently putting his paw against -her apron to remind her that he wished for another bit of bread and -butter. Barnaby was gone to the farm: and Nobs was in the stable.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect15"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER II. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>WHEREIN CERTAIN QUESTIONS ARE PROPOSED CONCERNING TIME, PLACE AND -PERSONS.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small><i>Quis? quid? ubi? quibus auxiliis? cur? quomodo? quando?</i></small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>T<small>ECHNICAL</small> V<small>ERSE</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Thus have I begun according to the most approved forms; not like those -who begin the Trojan War from Leda's egg, or the History of Great -Britain from Adam, or the Life of General Washington from the -Discovery of the New World; but in conformity to the Horatian precept, -rushing into the middle of things. Yet the Giant Moulineau's appeal to -his friend the story-telling Ram may well be remembered here; <i>Belier -mon ami, si tu voulois commencer par le commencement tu me ferois -grand plaisir</i>. For in the few lines of the preceding chapter how much -is there that requires explanation?—Who was Nobs?—Who was -Barnaby?—Who was the Doctor?—Who was Mrs. Dove?—The place, -where?—The time, when?—The persons, who?—</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem33"> - <tr><td><small>I maie not tell you all at once;<br> - But as I maie and can, I shall<br> - By order tellen you it all.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>So saith Chaucer; and in the same mind, <i>facilius discimus quæ congruo -dicuntur ordine quam quæ sparsim et confusim</i>, saith Erasmus. Think a -moment I beseech thee, Reader, what order is! Not the mere word which -is so often vociferated in the House of Commons or uttered by the -Speaker <i>ore rotundo</i>, when it is necessary for him to assume the tone -of Ζεὺς ὑψιβρεμέτης; but order in its essence and truth, in -itself and in its derivatives.</p> - -<p>Waiving the Orders in Council, and the Order of the Day, a phrase so -familiar in the disorderly days of the French National Convention, -think gentle Reader of the order of Knighthood, of holy orders, of the -orders of architecture, the Linnæan orders, the orderly Serjeant, the -ordinal numbers, the Ordinary of Newgate, the Ordinary on Sundays at 2 -o'clock in the environs of the Metropolis, the ordinary faces of those -who partake of what is ordinarily provided for them there; and under -the auspices of Government itself, and <i>par excellence</i> the -Extraordinary Gazette. And as the value of health is never truly and -feelingly understood except in sickness, contemplate for a moment what -the want of order is. Think of disorder in things remote, and then as -it approaches thee. In the country wherein thou livest, bad; in the -town whereof thou art an inhabitant, worse; in thine own street, -worser; in thine own house, worst of all. Think of it in thy family, -in thy fortune, in thine intestines. In thy affairs, distressing; in -thy members, painful; in thy conduct, ruinous. Order is the sanity of -the mind, the health of the body, the peace of the city, the security -of the state. As the beams to a house, as the bones to the microcosm -of man, so is order to all things. Abstract it from a Dictionary, and -thou mayest imagine the inextricable confusion which would ensue. -Reject it from the Alphabet, and Zerah Colburne himself could not go -through the chriscross row. How then should I do without it in this -history?</p> - -<p>A Quaker by name Benjamin Lay (who was a little cracked in the head -though sound at heart) took one of his compositions once to Benjamin -Franklin that it might be printed and published. Franklin having -looked over the manuscript observed that it was deficient in -arrangement; it is no matter, replied the author, print any part thou -pleasest first. Many are the speeches and the sermons and the -treatises and the poems and the volumes which are like Benjamin Lay's -book; the head might serve for the tail, and the tail for the body, -and the body for the head,—either end for the middle, and the middle -for either end;—nay if you could turn them inside out like a polypus, -or a glove, they would be no worse for the operation.</p> - -<p>When the excellent Hooker was on his death-bed, he expressed his joy -at the prospect of entering a World of Order.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect16"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER III. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>WHOLESOME OBSERVATIONS UPON THE VANITY OF FAME.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>Whosoever shall address himself to write of matters of instruction, or -of any other argument of importance, it behoveth that before he enter -thereinto, he should resolutely determine with himself in what order -he will handle the same; so shall he best accomplish that he hath -undertaken, and inform the understanding, and help the memory of the -Reader.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>G<small>WILLIM'S</small> D<small>ISPLAY OF</small> H<small>ERALDRY</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Who was the Doctor?</p> - -<p>We will begin with the persons for sundry reasons, general and -specific. Doth not the Latin grammar teach us so to do, wherein the -personal verbs come before the impersonal, and the <i>Propria quæ -maribus</i> precede all other nouns? Moreover by replying to this -question all needful explanation as to time and place will naturally -and of necessity follow in due sequence.</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem34"> - <tr><td><small>Truly I will deliver and discourse<br> - The sum of all.<small><sup>1</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> G. P<small>EELE</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>Who was the Doctor?</p> - -<p>Can it then be necessary to ask?—Alas the vanity of human fame! -Vanity of vanities, all is Vanity! “How few,” says Bishop Jeremy -Taylor, “have heard of the name of Veneatapadino Ragium! He imagined -that there was no man in the world that knew him not: how many men can -tell me, that he was the King of Narsinga?” When I mention Arba, who -but the practised textualist can call to mind that he was “a great man -among the Anakim,” that he was the father of Anak, and that from him -Kirjath-Arba took its name? A great man among the Giants of the earth, -the founder of a city, the father of Anak!—and now there remaineth -nothing more of him or his race than the bare mention of them in one -of the verses of one of the chapters of the Book of Joshua: except for -that only record it would not now be known that Arba had ever lived, -or that Hebron was originally called after his name. <i>Vanitas -Vanitatum! Omnia Vanitas .</i> An old woman in a village in the West of -England was told one day that the King of Prussia was dead, such a -report having arrived when the great Frederic was in the noon-day of -his glory. Old Mary lifted up her great slow eyes at the news, and -fixing them in the fullness of vacancy upon her informant, replied, -“is a! is a!—The Lord ha' marcy!—Well, well! The King of Prussia! -And who's he?”—The “Who's he” of this old woman might serve as text -for a notable sermon upon ambition. “Who's he” may now be asked of men -greater as soldiers in their day than Frederic, or Wellington; greater -as discoverers than Sir Isaac, or Sir Humphrey. Who built the -Pyramids? Who ate the first Oyster? <i>Vanitas Vanitatum! Omnia -Vanitas.</i></p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem35"> - <tr><td><small>Why then doth flesh, a bubble-glass of breath,<br> - Hunt after honour and advancement vain,<br> - And rear a trophy for devouring Death,<br> - With so great labour and long-lasting pain,<br> - As if his days for ever should remain?<br> - Sith all that in this world is great or gay,<br> - Doth as a vapour vanish and decay.<br> -<br> - Look back who list unto the former ages,<br> - And call to count what is of them become;<br> - Where be those learned wits and antique sages<br> - Which of all wisdom knew the perfect sum?<br> - Where those great warriors which did overcome<br> - The world with conquest of their might and main,<br> - And made one mear of the earth and of their reign?<small><sup>2</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>2</sup></small> S<small>PENSER</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>Who was the Doctor?</p> - -<p>Oh that thou hadst known him, Reader! Then should I have answered the -question—if orally, by an emphasis upon the article,—<i>the</i> Doctor; -or if in written words, THE DOCTOR—thus giving the word that capital -designation to which, as the head of his profession within his own -orbit, he was so justly entitled. But I am not writing to those only -who knew him, nor merely to the inhabitants of the West Riding, nor to -the present generation alone;—No! to all Yorkshire,—all England; all -the British Empire; all the countries wherein the English tongue is, -or shall be, spoken or understood; Yea to all places, and all times to -come. <i>Para todos</i>, as saith the famous Doctor Juan Perez de Montalvan -<i>Natural de Madrid</i>, which is, being interpreted, a Spanish -Cockney—<i>para todos; porque es un aparato de varias materias, donde -el Filosofo, el Cortesano, el Humanista, el Poeta, el Predicador, el -Teologo, el Soldado, el Devoto, el Jurisconsulto, el Matematico, el -Medico, el Soltero, el Casado, el Religioso, el Ministro, el Plebeyo, -el Señor, el Oficial, y el Entretenido, hallaran juntamente utilidad y -gusto, erudicion y divertimiento, doctrina y desahogo, recreo y -enseñanza, moralidad y alivio, ciencia y descanso, provecho y -passatiempo, alabanzas y reprehensiones, y ultimamente exemplos y -donaires, que sin ofender las costumbres delecten el animo, y sazonen -el entendimiento</i>.</p> - -<p>Who was the Doctor?</p> -<br> - -<p>The Doctor was Doctor Daniel Dove.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect17"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER IV. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>BIRTH AND PARENTAGE OF DR. DOVE, WITH THE DESCRIPTION OF A YEOMAN'S -HOUSE IN THE WEST RIDING OF YORKSHIRE A HUNDRED YEARS AGO.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem36"> - <tr><td><small><i>Non possidentem multa vocaveris<br> - Recte beatum; rectius occupat<br> - Nomen beati, qui Deorum<br> - Muneribus sapienter uti,<br> - Duramque callet pauperiem pati,<br> - Pejusque letho flagitium timet.</i><br> - - - -H<small>ORACE</small>, L. 4, Od. 9.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Daniel, the son of Daniel Dove and of Dinah his wife, was born near -Ingleton in the West Riding of Yorkshire, on Monday the twenty second -of April, old style, 1723, nine minutes and three seconds after three -in the afternoon; on which day Marriage came in and Mercury was with -the Moon; and the aspects were □ ♄ ♀: a week earlier, it would -have been a most glorious Trine of the Sun and Jupiter;—circumstances -which were all duly noted in the blank leaf of the family Bible.</p> - -<p>Daniel the father was one of a race of men who unhappily are now -almost extinct. He lived upon an estate of six and twenty acres which -his fathers had possessed before him, all Doves and Daniels, in -uninterrupted succession from time immemorial, farther than registers -or title deeds could ascend. The little church called Chapel le Dale, -stands about a bow shot from the family house. There they had all been -carried to the font; there they had each led his bride to the altar; -and thither they had, each in his turn, been borne upon the shoulders -of their friends and neighbours. Earth to earth they had been -consigned there for so many generations, that half of the soil of the -churchyard consisted of their remains. A hermit who might wish his -grave to be as quiet as his cell, could imagine no fitter resting -place. On three sides there was an irregular low stone wall, rather to -mark the limits of the sacred ground, than to inclose it; on the -fourth it was bounded by the brook whose waters proceed by a -subterraneous channel from Wethercote cave. Two or three alders and -rowan trees hung over the brook, and shed their leaves and seeds into -the stream. Some bushy hazels grew at intervals along the lines of the -wall; and a few ash trees, as the winds had sown them. To the East and -West some fields adjoined it, in that state of half cultivation which -gives a human character to solitude: to the South, on the other side -the brook, the common with its limestone rocks peering every where -above ground, extended to the foot of Ingleborough. A craggy hill, -feathered with birch, sheltered it from the North.</p> - -<p>The turf was as soft and fine as that of the adjoining hills; it was -seldom broken, so scanty was the population to which it was -appropriated; scarcely a thistle or a nettle deformed it, and the few -tomb-stones which had been placed there were now themselves half -buried. The sheep came over the wall when they listed, and sometimes -took shelter in the porch from the storm. Their voices, and the cry of -the kite wheeling above, were the only sounds which were heard there, -except when the single bell which hung in its niche over the entrance -tinkled for service on the Sabbath day, or with a slower tongue gave -notice that one of the children of the soil was returning to the earth -from which he sprung.</p> - -<p>The house of the Doves was to the East of the Church, under the same -hill, and with the same brook in front; and the intervening fields -belonged to the family. It was a low house, having before it a little -garden of that size and character which shewed that the inhabitants -could afford to bestow a thought upon something more than mere bodily -wants. You entered between two yew trees clipt to the fashion of two -pawns. There were hollyhocks and sunflowers displaying themselves -above the wall; roses and sweet peas under the windows, and the -everlasting pea climbing the porch. Over the door was a stone with -these letters.</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="over door"> - <tr><td align="center">D<br> - D + M<br> -<small>A.D</small><br> - 1608.</td></tr> -</table> - -<p>The A. was in the Saxon character. The rest of the garden lay behind -the house, partly on the slope of the hill. It had a hedge of -gooseberry-bushes, a few apple-trees, pot-herbs in abundance, onions, -cabbages, turnips and carrots; potatoes had hardly yet found their way -into these remote parts: and in a sheltered spot under the crag, open -to the south, were six bee-hives which made the family perfectly -independent of West India produce. Tea was in those days as little -known as potatoes, and for all other things honey supplied the place -of sugar.</p> - -<p>The house consisted of seven rooms, the dairy and cellar included -which were both upon the ground floor. As you entered the kitchen -there was on the right one of those open chimneys which afford more -comfort in a winter's evening than the finest register stove; in front -of the chimney stood a wooden bee-hive chair, and on each side was a -long oak seat with a back to it, the seats serving as chests in which -the oaten bread was kept. They were of the darkest brown, and well -polished by constant use. On the back of each were the same initials -as those over the door, with the date 1610. The great oak table, and -the chest in the best kitchen which held the house-linen, bore the -same date. The chimney was well hung with bacon, the rack which -covered half the ceiling bore equal marks of plenty; mutton hams were -suspended from other parts of the ceiling; and there was an odour of -cheese from the adjoining dairy, which the turf fire, tho' perpetual -as that of the Magi, or of the Vestal Virgins, did not overpower. A -few pewter dishes were ranged above the trenchers, opposite the door -on a conspicuous shelf. The other treasures of the family were in an -open triangular cupboard, fixed in one of the corners of the best -kitchen, half way from the floor, and touching the ceiling. They -consisted of a silver saucepan, a silver goblet, and four apostle -spoons. Here also King Charles's Golden Rules were pasted against the -wall, and a large print of Daniel in the Lion's Den. The Lions were -bedaubed with yellow, and the Prophet was bedaubed with blue, with a -red patch upon each of his cheeks: if he had been like his picture he -might have frightened the Lions; but happily there were no “judges” in -the family, and it had been bought for its name's sake. The other -print which ornamented the room had been purchased from a like -feeling, though the cause was not so immediately apparent. It -represented a Ship in full sail, with Joseph and the Virgin Mary, and -the Infant on board, and a Dove flying behind as if to fill the sails -with the motion of its wings. Six black chairs were ranged along the -wall, where they were seldom disturbed from their array. They had been -purchased by Daniel the grandfather upon his marriage, and were the -most costly purchase that had ever been made in the family; for the -goblet was a legacy. The backs were higher than the head of the -tallest man when seated; the seats flat and shallow, set in a round -frame, unaccommodating in their material, more unaccommodating in -shape; the backs also were of wood rising straight up, and ornamented -with balls and lozenges and embossments; and the legs and cross bars -were adorned in the same taste. Over the chimney were two Peacocks' -feathers, some of the dry silky pods of the honesty flower, and one of -those large “sinuous shells” so finely thus described by Landor;</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem37"> - <tr><td><small> - - Of pearly hue<br> - Within, and they that lustre have imbibed<br> - In the sun's palace porch; where, when unyoked,<br> - His chariot wheel stands midway in the wave,<br> - Shake one, and it awakens; then apply<br> - Its polished lips to your attentive ear,<br> - And it remembers its august abodes,<br> - And murmurs as the ocean murmurs there.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>There was also a head of Indian corn there, and a back scratcher, of -which the hand was ivory and the handle black. This had been a present -of Daniel the grandfather to his wife. The three apartments above -served equally for store-rooms and bed-chambers. William Dove the -brother slept in one, and Agatha the maid, or Haggy as she was called, -in another.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect18"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER V. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>EXTENSION OF THE SCIENCE OF PHYSIOGNOMY, WITH SOME REMARKS UPON THE -PRACTICAL USES OF CRANIOLOGY.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small><i>Hanc ergo scientiam blande excipiamus, hilariterque amplectamur, ut -vere nostram et de nobismet ipsis tractantem; quam qui non amat, quam -qui non amplectitur, nec philosophiam amat, neque suæ vitæ discrimina -curat.</i></small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>B<small>APTISTA</small> P<small>ORTA</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>They who know that the word physiognomy is not derived from phiz, and -infer from that knowledge that the science is not confined to the -visage alone, have extended it to handwritings also, and hence it has -become fashionable in this age of collectors to collect the autographs -of remarkable persons. But now that Mr. Rapier has arisen, “the -Reformer of illegible hands,” he and his rival Mr. Carstairs teach all -their pupils to write alike. The countenance however has fairer play -in our days than it had in old times, for the long heads of the -sixteenth century were made by the nurses, not by nature. Elongating -the nose, flattening the temples, and raising the forehead are no -longer performed by manual force, and the face undergoes now no other -artificial modelling than such as may be impressed upon it by the aid -of the looking-glass. So far physiognomy becomes less difficult, the -data upon which it has to proceed, not having been falsified <i>ab -initio;</i> but there arises a question in what state ought they to be -examined? Dr. Gall is for shaving the head, and overhauling it as a -Turk does a Circassian upon sale, that he may discover upon the -outside of the skull the organs of fighting, murder, cunning, and -thieving (near neighbours in his <i>mappa cerebri</i>,) of comparing -colours, of music, of sexual instinct, of philosophical judgement &c. -&c. all which, with all other qualities, have their latitudes and -longitudes in the brain, and are conspicuous upon the outward skull, -according to the degree in which they influence the character of the -individual.</p> - -<p>It must be admitted that if this learned German's theory of craniology -be well founded, the Gods have devised a much surer, safer and more -convenient means for discovering the real characters of the Lords and -Ladies of the creation, than what Momus proposed, when he advised that -a window should be placed in the breast. For if his advice had been -followed, and there had actually been a window in the sternum,—it is -I think beyond all doubt that a window-shutter would soon have been -found indispensably necessary in cold climates, more especially in -England where pulmonary complaints are so frequent; and, secondly, the -wind would not be more injurious to the lungs in high latitudes, than -the sun would be to the liver in torrid regions; indeed every where -during summer it would be impossible to exist without a green curtain, -or Venetian blinds to the window; and after all, take what precautions -we might, the world would be ten times more bilious than it is. -Another great physical inconvenience would also have arisen; for if -men could peep into their insides at any time, and see the motions and -the fermentations which are continually going on, and the rise and -progress of every malady distinctly marked in the changes it produced, -so many nervous diseases would be brought on by frequent inspection, -and so many derangements from attempting to regulate the machine, that -the only way to prevent it from making a full stop would be to put a -lock upon the shutter, and deliver the key to the Physician.</p> - -<p>But upon Dr. Gall's theory how many and what obvious advantages -result! Nor are they merely confined to the purposes of speculative -physiognomy; the uses of his theory as applied to practice offer to us -hopes scarcely less delightful than those which seemed to dawn upon -mankind with the discovery of the gasses, and with the commencement of -the French Revolution, and in these later days with the progress of -the Bible Society. In courts of Justice for instance how beautifully -would this new science supply any little deficiency of evidence upon -trial! If a man were arraigned for murder, and the case were doubtful, -but he were found to have a decided organ for the crime, it would be -of little matter whether he had committed the specific fact in the -indictment, or not; for hanging if not applicable as punishment, would -be proper for prevention. Think also in State Trials what infinite -advantages an Attorney General might derive from the opinion of a -Regius Professor of Craniology! Even these are but partial benefits. -Our Generals, Ministers, and Diplomatists would then unerringly be -chosen by the outside of the head, though a criterion might still be -wanted to ascertain when it was too thick and when too thin. But the -greatest advantages are those which this new system would afford to -education; for by the joint efforts of Dr. Gall and Mr. Edgeworth we -should be able to breed up men according to any pattern which Parents -or Guardians might think proper to bespeak. The Doctor would design -the mould, and Mr. Edgeworth by his skill in mechanics devise with -characteristic ingenuity the best means of making and applying it. As -soon as the child was born the professional cap, medical, military, -theological, commercial or legal, would be put on, and thus he would -be perfectly prepared for Mr. Edgeworth's admirable system of -professional education. I will pursue this subject no farther than -just to hint that the materials of the mould may operate -sympathetically, and therefore that for a lawyer in <i>rus</i> the cap -should be made of brass, for a divine of lead, for a politician of -base-metal, for a soldier of steel, and for a sailor of heart of -English oak.</p> - -<p>Dr. Gall would doubtless require the naked head to be submitted to him -for judgement. Contrariwise I opine,—and all the Ladies will agree -with me in this opinion,—that the head ought neither to be stript, -nor even examined in undress, but that it should be taken with all its -accompaniments, when the owner has made the best of it, the -accompaniments being not unfrequently more indicative than the -features themselves. Long ago the question whether a man is most like -himself drest or undrest, was propounded to the British Apollo; and it -was answered by the Oracle that a man of God Almighty's making is most -like himself when undrest; but a man of a tailor's, periwig-maker's, -and sempstress's making, when drest. The Oracle answered rightly; for -no man can select his own eyes, nose, or mouth,—but his wig and his -whiskers are of his own chusing. And to use an illustrious instance, -how much of character is there in that awful wig which alway in its -box accompanies Dr. Parr upon his visits of ceremony, that it may be -put on in the hall, with all its feathery honours thick upon it, not a -curl deranged, a hair flattened, or a particle of powder wasted on the -way!</p> - -<p>But if we would form a judgement of the interior of that portentous -head which is thus formidably obumbrated, how could it be done so well -as by beholding the Doctor among his books, and there seeing the food -upon which his terrific intellect is fed. There we should see the -accents, quantities, dialects, digammas, and other such small gear as -in these days constitute the complete armour of a perfect scholar; and -by thus discovering what goes into the head we might form a fair -estimate of what was likely to come out of it. This is a truth which, -with many others of equal importance, will be beautifully elucidated -in this nonpareil history. For Daniel Dove the Father had a collection -of books; they were not so numerous as those of his contemporary -Harley, famous for his library, and infamous for the Peace of Utrecht; -but he was perfectly conversant with all their contents, which is more -than could be said of the Earl of Oxford.</p> - -<p>Reader whether thou art man, woman or child, thou art doubtless -acquainted with the doctrine of association as inculcated by the great -Mr. Locke and his disciples. But never hast thou seen that doctrine so -richly and so entirely exemplified as in this great history, the -association of ideas being, in oriental phrase, the silken thread upon -which its pearls are strung. And never wilt thou see it so clearly and -delightfully illustrated, not even if the ingenious Mr. John Jones -should one day give to the world the whole twelve volumes in which he -has proved the authenticity of the Gospel History, by bringing the -narratives of the Four Evangelists to the test of Mr. Locke's -metaphysics.</p> - -<p>“Desultoriness,” says Mr. Danby, “may often be the mark of a full -head; connection must proceed from a thoughtful one.”</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect19"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER VI. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>A COLLECTION OF BOOKS NONE OF WHICH ARE INCLUDED AMONGST THE -PUBLICATIONS OF ANY SOCIETY FOR THE PROMOTION OF KNOWLEDGE RELIGIOUS -OR PROFANE.—HAPPINESS IN HUMBLE LIFE.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem38"> - <tr><td><small><i>Felix ille animi, divisque simillimus ipsis,<br> - Quem non mordaci resplendens gloria fuco<br> - Solicitat, non fastosi mala gaudia luxus,<br> - Sed tacitos sinit ire dies, et paupere cultu<br> - Exigit innocuæ tranquilla silentia vitæ.</i><br> - - - - -P<small>OLITIAN</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Happily for Daniel, he lived before the age of Magazines, Reviews, -Cyclopædias, Elegant Extracts and Literary Newspapers, so that he -gathered the fruit of knowledge for himself, instead of receiving it -from the dirty fingers of a retail vender. His books were few in -number, but they were all weighty either in matter or in size. They -consisted of the Morte d'Arthur in the fine black-letter edition of -Copland; Plutarch's Morals and Pliny's Natural History, two goodly -folios, full as an egg of meat, and both translated by that old worthy -Philemon, who for the service which he rendered to his contemporaries -and to his countrymen deserves to be called the best of the Hollands, -without disparaging either the Lord or the Doctor of that appellation. -The whole works of Joshua Sylvester (whose name, let me tell thee -reader in passing, was accented upon the first syllable by his -contemporaries, not as now upon the second);—Jean Petit's History of -the Netherlands, translated and continued by Edward Grimeston, another -worthy of the Philemon order; Sir Kenelm Digby's Discourses; Stowe's -Chronicle; Joshua Barnes's Life of Edward III.; “Ripley Revived by -Eirenæus Philalethes, an Englishman styling himself Citizen of the -World,” with its mysterious frontispiece representing the <i>Domus -Naturæ</i>, to which, <i>Nil deest, nisi clavis:</i> the Pilgrim's Progress: -two volumes of Ozell's translation of Rabelais; Latimer's Sermons; and -the last volume of Fox's Martyrs, which latter book had been brought -him by his wife. The Pilgrim's Progress was a godmother's present to -his son: the odd volumes of Rabelais he had picked up at Kendal, at a -sale, in a lot with Ripley Revived and Plutarch's Morals: the others -he had inherited.</p> - -<p>Daniel had looked into all these books, read most of them, and -believed all that he read, except Rabelais, which he could not tell -what to make of. He was not however one of those persons who -complacently suppose every thing to be nonsense, which they do not -perfectly comprehend, or flatter themselves that they do. His simple -heart judged of books by what they ought to be, little knowing what -they are. It never occurred to him that any thing would be printed -which was not worth printing, any thing which did not convey either -reasonable delight or useful instruction: and he was no more disposed -to doubt the truth of what he read, than to question the veracity of -his neighbour, or any one who had no interest in deceiving him. A book -carried with it to him authority in its very aspect. The Morte -d'Arthur therefore he received for authentic history, just as he did -the painful chronicle of honest John Stowe, and the Barnesian labours -of Joshua the self-satisfied: there was nothing in it indeed which -stirred his English blood like the battles of Cressy and Poictiers and -Najara; yet on the whole he preferred it to Barnes's story, believed -in Sir Tor, Sir Tristram, Sir Lancelot and Sir Lamorack as entirely as -in Sir John Chandos, the Captal de Buche and the Black Prince, and -liked them better.</p> - -<p>Latimer and Du Bartas he used sometimes to read aloud on Sundays; and -if the departed take cognizance of what passes on earth, and poets -derive any satisfaction from that posthumous applause which is -generally the only reward of those who deserve it, Sylvester might -have found some compensation for the undeserved neglect into which his -works had sunk, by the full and devout delight which his rattling -rhymes and quaint collocations afforded to this reader. The -silver-tongued Sylvester however was reserved for a Sabbath book; as a -week-day author Daniel preferred Pliny, for the same reason that bread -and cheese, or a rasher of hung mutton contented his palate better -than a syllabub. He frequently regretted that so knowing a writer had -never seen or heard of Wethercote and Yordas caves; the ebbing and -flowing spring at Giggleswick, Malham Cove, and Gordale Scar, that he -might have described them among the wonders of the world. <i>Omne -ignotum pro magnifico</i> is a maxim which will not in all cases hold -good. There are things which we do not undervalue because we are -familiar with them, but which are admired the more the more thoroughly -they are known and understood; it is thus with the grand objects of -nature and the finest works of art,—with whatsoever is truly great -and excellent. Daniel was not deficient in imagination; but no -description of places which he had never seen, however exaggerated (as -such things always are) impressed him so strongly as these objects in -his own neighbourhood, which he had known from childhood. Three or -four times in his life it had happened that strangers with a curiosity -as uncommon in that age as it is general in this, came from afar to -visit these wonders of the West Riding, and Daniel accompanied them -with a delight such as he never experienced on any other occasion.</p> - -<p>But the Author in whom he delighted most was Plutarch, of whose works -he was lucky enough to possess the worthier half: if the other had -perished Plutarch would not have been a popular writer, but he would -have held a higher place in the estimation of the judicious. Daniel -could have posed a candidate for university honors, and perhaps the -examiner too, with some of the odd learning which he had stored up in -his memory from these great repositories of ancient knowledge. -Refusing all reward for such services, the strangers to whom he -officiated as a guide, though they perceived that he was an -extraordinary person, were little aware how much information he had -acquired, and of how strange a kind. His talk with them did not go -beyond the subjects which the scenes they came to visit naturally -suggested, and they wondered more at the questions he asked, than at -any thing which he advanced himself. For his disposition was naturally -shy, and that which had been bashfulness in youth assumed the -appearance of reserve as he advanced in life; for having none to -communicate with upon his favorite studies he lived in an intellectual -world of his own, a mental solitude as complete as that of Alexander -Selkirk or Robinson Crusoe. Even to the Curate his conversation, if he -had touched upon his books, would have been heathen Greek; and to -speak the truth plainly, without knowing a letter of that language, he -knew more about the Greeks, than nine-tenths of the clergy at that -time, including all the dissenters, and than nine-tenths of the -schoolmasters also.</p> - -<p>Our good Daniel had none of that confidence which so usually and so -unpleasantly characterizes self-taught men. In fact he was by no means -aware of the extent of his acquirements, all that he knew in this kind -having been acquired for amusement not for use. He had never attempted -to teach himself any thing. These books had lain in his way in -boyhood, or fallen in it afterwards, and the perusal of them intently -as it was followed, was always accounted by him to be nothing more -than recreation. None of his daily business had ever been neglected -for it; he cultivated his fields and his garden, repaired his walls, -looked to the stable, tended his cows and salved his sheep, as -diligently and as contentedly as if he had possessed neither capacity -nor inclination for any higher employments. Yet Daniel was one of -those men, who, if disposition and aptitude were not overruled by -circumstances, would have grown pale with study, instead of being -bronzed and hardened by sun and wind and rain. There were in him -undeveloped talents which might have raised him to distinction as an -antiquary, a virtuoso of the Royal Society, a poet, or a theologian, -to which ever course the bias in his ball of fortune had inclined. But -he had not a particle of envy in his composition. He thought indeed -that if he had had grammar learning in his youth like the curate, he -would have made more use of it; but there was nothing either of the -sourness or bitterness (call it which you please) of repining in this -natural reflection.</p> - -<p>Never indeed was any man more contented with doing his duty in that -state of life to which it had pleased God to call him. And well he -might be so, for no man ever passed through the world with less to -disquiet or to sour him. Bred up in habits which secured the -continuance of that humble but sure independance to which he was born, -he had never known what it was to be anxious for the future. At the -age of twenty-five he had brought home a wife, the daughter of a -little landholder like himself, with fifteen pounds for her portion: -and the true-love of his youth proved to him a faithful helpmate in -those years when the dream of life is over, and we live in its -realities. If at any time there had been some alloy in his happiness -it was when there appeared reason to suppose that in him his family -would be extinct; for though no man knows what parental feelings are -till he has experienced them, and Daniel therefore knew not the whole -value of that which he had never enjoyed, the desire of progeny is -natural to the heart of man; and though Daniel had neither large -estates, nor an illustrious name to transmit, it was an unwelcome -thought that the little portion of the earth which had belonged to his -fathers time out of mind, should pass into the possession of some -stranger, who would tread on their graves and his own without any -regard to the dust that lay beneath. That uneasy apprehension was -removed after he had been married fifteen years, when to the great joy -of both parents, because they had long ceased to entertain any hope of -such an event, their wishes were fulfilled in the birth of a son. This -their only child was healthy, apt and docile, to all appearance as -happily disposed in mind and body as a father's heart could wish. If -they had fine weather for winning their hay or shearing their corn, -they thanked God for it; if the season proved unfavourable, the labour -was only a little the more and the crop a little the worse. Their -stations secured them from want, and they had no wish beyond it. What -more had Daniel to desire?</p> - -<p>The following passage in the divine Du Bartas he used to read with -peculiar satisfaction, applying it to himself:—</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem39"> - <tr><td><small>O thrice, thrice happy he, who shuns the cares<br> - Of city troubles, and of state-affairs;<br> - And, serving Ceres, tills with his own team,<br> - His own <i>free land</i>, left by his friends to him!<br> -<br> - Never pale Envy's poisony heads do hiss<br> - To gnaw his heart: nor Vulture Avarice:<br> - His fields' bounds, bound his thoughts: he never sups,<br> - For nectar, poison mixed in silver cups;<br> - Neither in golden platters doth he lick<br> - For sweet ambrosia deadly arsenic:<br> - His hand's his bowl (better than plate or glass)<br> - The silver brook his sweetest hippocrass:<br> - Milk cheese and fruit, (fruits of his own endeavour)<br> - Drest without dressing, hath he ready ever.<br> -<br> - False counsellors (concealers of the law)<br> - Turncoat attorneys that with both hands draw;<br> - Sly pettifoggers, wranglers at the bar,<br> - Proud purse-leeches, harpies of Westminster,<br> - With feigned-chiding, and foul jarring noise,<br> - Break not his brain, nor interrupt his joys;<br> - But cheerful birds chirping him sweet good-morrows<br> - With nature's music do beguile his sorrows;<br> - Teaching the fragrant forests day by day<br> - The diapason of their heavenly lay.<br> -<br> - His wandering vessel, reeling to and fro<br> - On th' ireful ocean (as the winds do blow)<br> - With sudden tempest is not overwhurled,<br> - To seek his sad death in another world:<br> - But leading all his life at home in peace,<br> - Always in sight of his own smoke, no seas<br> - No other seas he knows, no other torrent,<br> - Than that which waters with its silver current<br> - His native meadows: and that very earth<br> - Shall give him burial which first gave him birth.<br> -<br> - To summon timely sleep, he doth not need<br> - Æthiop's cold rush, nor drowsy poppy-seed;<br> - Nor keep in consort (as Mecænas did)<br> - Luxurious Villains—(Viols I should have said);<br> - But on green carpets thrum'd with mossy bever,<br> - Fringing the round skirts of his winding river,<br> - The streams mild murmur, as it gently gushes,<br> - His healthy limbs in quiet slumber hushes.<br> -<br> - Drum fife and trumpet, with their loud alarms,<br> - Make him not start out of his sleep, to arms;<br> - Nor dear respect of some great General,<br> - Him from his bed unto the block doth call.<br> - The crested cock sings “<i>Hunt-is-up</i>” to him,<br> - Limits his rest, and makes him stir betime,<br> - To walk the mountains and the flow'ry meads<br> - Impearl'd with tears which great Aurora sheds.<br> -<br> - Never gross air poisoned in stinking streets,<br> - To choke his spirit, his tender nostril meets;<br> - But th'open sky where at full breath he lives,<br> - Still keeps him sound, and still new stomach gives.<br> - And Death, dread Serjeant of the Eternal Judge,<br> - Comes very late to his sole-seated lodge.</small></td></tr> -</table><br> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect20"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER VII. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>RUSTIC PHILOSOPHY. AN EXPERIMENT UPON MOONSHINE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem40"> - <tr><td><small><i>Quien comienza en juventud<br> - A bien obrar,<br> - Señal es de no errar<br> - En senetud.</i><br> - -P<small>ROVERBIOS DEL</small> M<small>ARQUES DE</small> S<small>ANTILLANA</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>It is not however for man to rest in absolute contentment. He is born -to hopes and aspirations as the sparks fly upward, unless he has -brutified his nature and quenched the spirit of immortality which is -his portion. Having nothing to desire for himself, Daniel's ambition -had taken a natural direction and fixed upon his son. He was resolved -that the boy should be made a scholar; not with the prospect of -advancing him in the world, but in the hope that he might become a -philosopher, and take as much delight in the books which he would -inherit as his father had done before him. Riches and rank and power -appeared in his judgement to be nothing when compared to philosophy; -and herein he was as true a philosopher as if he had studied in the -Porch, or walked the groves of Academus.</p> - -<p>It was not however for this,—for he was as little given to talk of -his opinions as to display his reading,—but for his retired habits, -and general character, and some odd practices into which his books had -led him, that he was commonly called Flossofer Daniel by his -neighbours. The appellation was not affixed in derision, but -respectfully and as his due; for he bore his faculties too meekly ever -to excite an envious or an ill-natured feeling in any one. Rural -Flossofers were not uncommon in those days, though in the progress of -society they have disappeared like Crokers, Bowyers, Lorimers, -Armourers, Running Footmen and other descriptions of men whose -occupations are gone by. But they were of a different order from our -Daniel. They were usually Philomaths, Students in Astrology, or the -Cœlestial Science, and not unfrequently Empirics or downright Quacks. -Between twenty and thirty almanacs used to be published every year by -men of this description, some of them versed enough in mathematics to -have done honor to Cambridge, had the fates allowed; and others such -proficients in roguery, that they would have done equal honor to the -whipping-post.</p> - -<p>A man of a different stamp from either came in declining life to -settle at Ingleton in the humble capacity of schoolmaster, a little -before young Daniel was capable of more instruction than could be -given him at home. Richard Guy was his name; he is the person to whom -the lovers of old rhyme are indebted for the preservation of the old -poem of Flodden Field, which he transcribed from an ancient -manuscript, and which was printed from his transcript by Thomas Gent -of York. In his way through the world, which had not been along the -King's high Dunstable road, Guy had picked up a competent share of -Latin, a little Greek, some practical knowledge of physic, and more of -its theory; astrology enough to cast a nativity, and more acquaintance -with alchemy than has often been possessed by one who never burnt his -fingers in its processes. These acquirements were grafted on a -disposition as obliging as it was easy; and he was beholden to nature -for an understanding so clear and quick that it might have raised him -to some distinction in the world if he had not been under the -influence of an imagination at once lively and credulous. Five and -fifty years had taught him none of the world's wisdom; they had -sobered his mind without maturing it; but he had a wise heart, and the -wisdom of the heart is worth all other wisdom.</p> - -<p>Daniel was too far advanced in life to fall in friendship; he felt a -certain degree of attractiveness in this person's company; there was -however so much of what may better be called reticence than reserve in -his own quiet habitual manners, that it would have been long before -their acquaintance ripened into any thing like intimacy, if an -accidental circumstance had not brought out the latent sympathy which -on both sides had till then rather been apprehended than understood. -They were walking together one day when young Daniel, who was then in -his sixth year, looking up in his father's face proposed this -question: “will it be any harm, Father, if I steal five beans when -next I go into Jonathan Dowthwaites, if I can do it without any one's -seeing me?”</p> - -<p>“And what wouldst thou steal beans for?” was the reply, “when any body -would give them to thee, and when thou knowest there are plenty at -home?”</p> - -<p>“But it wo'nt do to have them given, Father,” the boy replied. “They -are to charm away my warts. Uncle William says I must steal five -beans, a bean for every wart, and tie them carefully up in paper, and -carry them to a place where two roads cross, and then drop them, and -walk away without ever once looking behind me. And then the warts will -go away from me, and come upon the hands of the person that picks up -the beans.”</p> - -<p>“Nay boy,” the Father made answer; “that charm was never taught by a -white witch! If thy warts are a trouble to thee, they would be a -trouble to any one else; and to get rid of an evil from ourselves -Daniel, by bringing it upon another, is against our duty to our -neighbour. Have nothing to do with a charm like that!”</p> - -<p>“May I steal a piece of raw beef then,” rejoined the boy, “and rub the -warts with it and bury it? For Uncle says that will do, and as the -beef rots, so the warts will waste away.”</p> - -<p>“Daniel,” said the Father, “those can be no lawful charms that begin -with stealing; I could tell thee how to cure thy warts in a better -manner. There is an infallible way, which is by washing the hands in -moonshine, but then the moonshine must be caught in a bright silver -basin. You wash and wash in the basin, and a cold moisture will be -felt upon the hands, proceeding from the cold and moist rays of the -moon.”</p> - -<p>“But what shall we do for a silver basin,” said little Daniel?</p> - -<p>The Father answered, “a pewter dish might be tried if it were made -very bright; but it is not deep enough. The brass kettle perhaps might -do better.”</p> - -<p>“Nay,” said Guy, who had now begun to attend with some interest, “the -shape of a kettle is not suitable. It should be a concave vessel, so -as to concentrate the rays. Joshua Wilson I dare say would lend his -brass basin, which he can very well spare at the hour you want it, -because nobody comes to be shaved by moonlight. The moon rises early -enough to serve at this time. If you come in this evening at six -o'clock I will speak to Joshua in the mean time, and have the basin as -bright and shining as a good scouring can make it. The experiment is -curious and I should like to see it tried. Where Daniel didst thou -learn it?” “I read it,” replied Daniel, “in Sir Kenelm Digby's -Discourses, and he says it never fails.”</p> - -<p>Accordingly the parties met at the appointed hour. Mambrino's helmet -when new from the armourers, or when furbished for a tournament, was -not brighter than Guy had rendered the inside of the barber's basin. -Schoolmaster, Father and son retired to a place out of observation, by -the side of the river, a wild stream tumbling among the huge stones -which it had brought down from the hills. On one of these stones sate -Daniel the elder, holding the basin in such an inclination toward the -moon that there should be no shadow in it; Guy directed the boy where -to place himself so as not to intercept the light, and stood looking -complacently on, while young Daniel revolved his hands one in another -within the empty basin, as if washing them. “I feel them cold and -clammy Father!” said the boy. (It was the beginning of November) -“Aye,” replied the father, “that's the cold moisture of the moon!” -“Aye!” echoed the schoolmaster, and nodded his head in confirmation.</p> - -<p>The operation was repeated on the two following nights; and Daniel -would have kept up his son two hours later than his regular time of -rest to continue it on the third if the evening had not set in with -clouds and rain. In spite of the patient's belief that the warts would -waste away and were wasting, (for Prince Hohenlohe could not require -more entire faith than was given on this occasion) no alteration could -be perceived in them at a fortnight's end. Daniel thought the -experiment had failed because it had not been repeated sufficiently -often, nor perhaps continued long enough. But the Schoolmaster was of -opinion that the cause of failure was in the basin: for that silver -being the lunar metal would by affinity assist the influential virtues -of the moonlight, which finding no such affinity in a mixed metal of -baser compounds, might contrariwise have its potential qualities -weakened, or even destroyed when received in a brasen vessel, and -reflected from it. Flossofer Daniel assented to this theory. -Nevertheless as the child got rid of his troublesome excrescences in -the course of three or four months, all parties disregarding the lapse -of time at first, and afterwards fairly forgetting it, agreed that the -remedy had been effectual, and Sir Kenelm if he had been living, might -have procured the solemn attestation of men more veracious than -himself that moonshine was an infallible cure for warts.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect21"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER VIII. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>A KIND SCHOOLMASTER AND A HAPPY SCHOOL BOY.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>Though happily thou wilt say that wands be to be wrought when they are -green, lest they rather break than bend when they be dry, yet know -also that he that bendeth a twig because he would see if it would bow -by strength may chance to have a crooked tree when he would have a -straight.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>E<small>UPHUES</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>From this time the two Flossofers were friends. Daniel seldom went to -Ingleton without looking in upon Guy, if it were between school hours. -Guy on his part would walk as far with him on the way back, as the -tether of his own time allowed, and frequently on Saturdays and -Sundays he strolled out and took a seat by Daniel's fire side. Even -the wearying occupation of hearing one generation of urchins after -another repeat <i>a-b-ab</i>, hammering the first rules of arithmetic into -leaden heads, and pacing like a horse in a mill the same dull dragging -round day after day, had neither diminished Guy's good-nature, nor -lessened his love for children. He had from the first conceived a -liking for young Daniel, both because of the right principle which was -evinced by the manner in which he proposed the question concerning -stealing the beans, and of the profound gravity (worthy of a -Flossofer's son) with which he behaved in the affair of the moonshine. -All that he saw and heard of him tended to confirm this favourable -prepossession; and the boy, who had been taught to read in the Bible -and in Stowe's Chronicle, was committed to his tuition at seven years -of age.</p> - -<p>Five days in the week (for in the North of England Saturday as well as -Sunday is a Sabbath to the Schoolmaster) did young Daniel after -supping his porringer of oat-meal pottage, set off to school, with a -little basket containing his dinner in his hand. This provision -usually consisted of oat-cake and cheese, the latter in goodly -proportion, but of the most frugal quality, whatever cream the milk -afforded having been consigned to the butter tub. Sometimes it was a -piece of cold bacon or of cold pork; and in winter there was the -luxury of a shred pie, which is a coarse north country edition of the -pie abhorred by puritans. The distance was in those days called two -miles; but miles of such long measure that they were for him a good -hour's walk at a cheerful pace. He never loitered on the way, being at -all times brisk in his movements, and going to school with a spirit as -light as when he returned from it, like one whose blessed lot it was -never to have experienced, and therefore never to stand in fear of -severity or unkindness. For he was not more a favorite with Guy for -his docility, and regularity and diligence, than he was with his -schoolfellows for his thorough good nature and a certain original -oddity of humour.</p> - -<p>There are some boys who take as much pleasure in exercising their -intellectual faculties, as others do when putting forth the power of -arms and legs in boisterous exertion. Young Daniel was from his -childhood fond of books. William Dove used to say he was a chip of the -old block; and this hereditary disposition was regarded with much -satisfaction by both parents, Dinah having no higher ambition nor -better wish for her son, than that he might prove like his father in -all things. This being the bent of his nature, the boy having a kind -master as well as a happy home, never tasted of what old Lily calls -(and well might call) the wearisome bitterness of the scholar's -learning. He was never subject to the brutal discipline of the Udals -and Busbys and Bowyers, and Parrs and other less notorious tyrants who -have trodden in their steps; nor was any of that inhuman injustice -ever exercised upon him to break his spirit, for which it is to be -hoped Dean Colet has paid in Purgatory;—to be hoped, I say, because -if there be no Purgatory, the Dean may have gone farther and fared -worse. Being the only <i>Latiner</i> in the school his lessons were heard -with more interest and less formality. Guy observed his progress with -almost as much delight and as much hope as Daniel himself. A -schoolmaster who likes his vocation feels toward the boys who deserve -his favour something like a thrifty and thriving father toward the -children for whom he is scraping together wealth; he is contented that -his humble and patient industry should produce fruit not for himself, -but for them, and looks with pride to a result in which it is -impossible for him to partake, and which in all likelihood he may -never live to see. Even some of the old Phlebotomists have had this -feeling to redeem them.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect22"></a> -<br> - -<p>“Sir,” says the Compositor to the Corrector of the Press, “there is no -heading in the Copy for this Chapter. What must I do?”</p> - -<p>“Leave a space for it,” the Corrector replies. “It is a strange sort -of book; but I dare say the Author has a reason for every thing that -he says or does, and most likely you will find out his meaning as you -set up.”</p> - -<p>Right Mr. Corrector! you are a judicious person, free from the common -vice of finding fault with what you do not understand. My meaning will -be explained presently. And having thus prologized, we will draw a -line if you please, and begin.</p> - -<hr align="center" width="100"> - -<p>Ten measures of garrulity, says the Talmud, were sent down upon the -earth, and the women took nine.</p> - -<p>I have known in my time eight terrific talkers; and five of them were -of the masculine gender.</p> - -<p>But supposing that the Rabbis were right in allotting to the women a -ninefold proportion of talkativeness, I confess that I have inherited -my mother's share.</p> - -<p>I am liberal of my inheritance, and the Public shall have the full -benefit of it.</p> - -<p>And here if my gentle Public will consider to what profitable uses -this gift might have been applied, the disinterestedness of my -disposition in having thus benevolently dedicated it to their service, -will doubtless be appreciated as it deserves by their discrimination -and generosity. Had I carried it to the pulpit, think now how I might -have filled the seats, and raised the prices of a private chapel! Had -I taken it to the bar, think how I could have mystified a judge, and -bamboozled a jury! Had I displayed it in the senate, think how I could -have talked against time, for the purpose of delaying a division, till -the expected numbers could be brought together; or how efficient a -part I could have borne in the patriotic design of impeding the -business of a session, prolonging and multiplying the debates, and -worrying a minister out of his senses and his life.</p> - -<p><i>Diis aliter visum</i>.—I am what I was to be,—what it is best for -myself that I should be,—and for you, my Public, also. The rough-hewn -plans of my destination have been better shaped for me by Providence -than I could have shaped them for myself.</p> - -<p>But to the purpose of this chapter, which is as headless as the -Whigs—Observe my Public, I have not said as brainless...If it were, -the book would be worth no more than a new Tragedy of Lord Byron's; or -an old number of Mr. Jeffrey's Review, when its prophecies have proved -false, its blunders have been exposed, and its slander stinks.</p> - -<p>Every thing here shall be in order. The digressions into which this -gift of discourse may lead me must not interrupt the arrangement of -our History. Never shall it be said of the Unknown that “he draweth -out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his -argument.” We have a journey to perform from Dan to Beersheba, and we -must halt occasionally by the way. Matter will arise contingent to the -story, correlative to it, or excrescent from it; not necessary to its -progress, and yet indispensable for your delight, my gentle Public, -and for mine own ease. My Public would not have me stifle the -<i>afflatus</i> when I am labouring with it, and in the condition of Elihu -as described by himself in the 18th and 19th verses of the xxxii. -chapter of the book of Job.</p> - -<p><i>Quemadmodum cælator oculos diu intentos ac fatigatos remittit atque -avocat, et, ut dici solet, pascit; sic nos animum aliquando debemus -relaxare et quibusdam oblectamentis reficere. Sed ipsa oblectamenta -opera sint; ex his quoque si observaveris, sumes quod possit fieri -salutare.</i><small><small><sup>1</sup></small></small></p> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> S<small>ENECA</small>, Epist. 58.</small></blockquote> - -<p>But that the beautiful structure of this history may in no wise be -deranged, such matter shall be distributed into distinct chapters in -the way of intercalation; a device of which as it respects the year, -Adam is believed to have been the inventor; but according to the -Author of the book of Jalkut, it was only transmitted by him to his -descendants, being one of the things which he received by revelation.</p> - -<p>How then shall these Chapters be annominated? Intercalary they shall -not. That word will send some of my readers to Johnson's Dictionary -for its meaning; and others to Sheridan, or Walker for its -pronunciation. Besides, I have a dislike to all mongrel words, and an -especial dislike for strange compounds into which a preposition -enters. I owe them a grudge. They make one of the main difficulties in -Greek and German.</p> - -<p>From our own Calenders we cannot borrow an appellation. In the -Republican one of our neighbours, when the revolutionary fever was at -its height, the supplemental days were called <i>Sansculottedes</i>. The -Spaniards would call them <i>Dias Descamisados</i>. The holders of liberal -opinions in England would term them Radical Days. A hint might be -taken hence, and we might name them radical chapters, as having the -root of the matter in them;—Or <i>ramal</i>, if there were such a word, -upon the analogy of the Branch Bible societies. Or <i>ramage</i> as the -king of Cockayne hath his Foliage. But they would not be truly and -philosophically designated by these names. They are not branches from -the tree of this history, neither are they its leaves; but rather -choice garlands suspended there to adorn it on festival days. They may -be likened to the waste weirs of a canal, or the safety valves of a -steam engine; (my gentle Public would not have me stifle the -<i>afflatus!</i>)—interludes;—symphonies between the acts;—voluntaries -during the service;—resting places on the ascent of a church tower; -angular recesses of an old bridge, into which foot passengers may -retire from carriages or horsemen;—houses-of-call upon the road; -seats by the way side, such as those which were provided by the Man of -Ross, or the not less meritorious Woman of Chippenham, Maud Heath of -Langley Burrel,—Hospices on the passages of the Alps,—Capes of Good -Hope, or Isles of St. Helena,—yea Islands of Tinian or Juan -Fernandez, upon the long voyage whereon we are bound.</p> - -<p>Leap-chapters they cannot properly be called; and if we were to call -them Ha Has! as being chapters which the Reader may leap if he likes, -the name would appear rather strained than significant, and might be -justly censured as more remarkable for affectation than for aptness. -For the same reason I reject the designation of Intermeans, though it -hath the sanction of great Ben's authority.</p> - -<p>Among the requisites for an accomplished writer Steele enumerates the -skill whereby common words are started into new significations. I will -not presume so far upon that talent (—modesty forbids me—) as to -call these intervening chapters either Interpellations or -Interpositions, or Interlocations, or Intervals. Take this Reader for -a general rule, that the readiest and plainest style is the most -forcible (if the head be but properly stored;) and that in all -ordinary cases the word which first presents itself is the best; even -as in all matters of right and wrong, the first feeling is that which -the heart owns and the conscience ratifies.</p> - -<p>But for a new occasion, a new word or a new composite must be formed. -Therefore I will strike one in the mint of analogy, in which alone the -king's English must be coined, and call them Interchapters—and thus -endeth</p> -<br> -<h4>INTERCHAPTER I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>REMARKS IN THE PRINTING OFFICE. THE AUTHOR CONFESSES A DISPOSITION TO -GARRULITY. PROPRIETY OF PROVIDING CERTAIN CHAPTERS FOR THE RECEPTION -OF HIS EXTRANEOUS DISCOURSE. CHOICE OF AN APPELLATION FOR SUCH -CHAPTERS.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem41"> - <tr><td><small><i>Perque vices aliquid, quod tempora longa videri<br> - Non sinat, in medium vacuas referamus ad aures.</i><br> - - - - - -O<small>VID</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect23"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER IX. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>EXCEPTIONS TO ONE OF KING SOLOMON'S RULES—A WINTER'S EVENING AT -DANIEL'S FIRE-SIDE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>These are my thoughts; I might have spun them out into a greater -length, but I think a little plot of ground, thick sown, is better -than a great field which, for the most part of it, lies fallow.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>N<small>ORRIS</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old his feet -will not depart from it.” Generally speaking it will be found so; but -is there any other rule to which there are so many exceptions?</p> - -<p>Ask the serious Christian as he calls himself, or the Professor -(another and more fitting appellative which the Christian Pharisees -have chosen for themselves)—ask him whether he has found it hold -good? Whether his sons when they attained to years of discretion -(which are the most indiscreet years in the course of human life) have -profited as he expected by the long extemporaneous prayers to which -they listened night and morning, the sad sabbaths which they were -compelled to observe, and the soporific sermons which closed the -domestic religiosities of those melancholy days? Ask him if this -discipline has prevented them from running headlong into the follies -and vices of the age? from being birdlimed by dissipation? or caught -in the spider's web of sophistry and unbelief? “It is no doubt a true -observation,” says Bishop Patrick, “that the ready way to make the -minds of youth grow awry, is to lace them too hard, by denying them -their just freedom.”</p> - -<p>Ask the old faithful servant of Mammon, whom Mammon has rewarded to -his heart's desire, and in whom the acquisition of riches has only -encreased his eagerness for acquiring more—ask him whether he has -succeeded in training up his heir to the same service? He will tell -you that the young man is to be found upon race-grounds, and in -gaming-houses, that he is taking his swing of extravagance and excess, -and is on the high road to ruin.</p> - -<p>Ask the wealthy Quaker, the pillar of the meeting—most orthodox in -heterodoxy,—who never wore a garment of forbidden cut or colour, -never bent his body in salutation, or his knees in prayer,—never -uttered the heathen name of a day or month, nor ever addrest himself -to any person without religiously speaking illegitimate English,—ask -him how it has happened that the tailor has converted his sons? He -will fold his hands, and twirl his thumbs mournfully in silence. It -has not been for want of training them in the way wherein it was his -wish that they should go.</p> - -<p>You are about, Sir, to send your son to a public school; Eton or -Westminster; Winchester or Harrow; Rugby or the Charter House, no -matter which. He may come from either an accomplished scholar to the -utmost extent that school education can make him so; he may be the -better both for its discipline and its want of discipline; it may -serve him excellently well as a preparatory school for the world into -which he is about to enter. But also he may come away an empty coxcomb -or a hardened brute—a spendthrift—a profligate—a blackguard or a -sot.</p> - -<p>To put a boy in the way he should go, is like sending out a ship well -found, well manned and stored, and with a careful captain; but there -are rocks and shallows in her course, winds and currents to be -encountered, and all the contingencies and perils of the sea.</p> - -<p>How often has it been seen that sons, not otherwise deficient in duty -toward their parents, have, in the most momentous concerns of life, -taken the course most opposite to that in which they were trained to -go, going wrong where the father would have directed them aright, or -taking the right path in spite of all inducements and endeavours for -leading them wrong! The son of Charles Wesley, born and bred in -methodism and bound to it by all the strongest ties of pride and -prejudice, became a papist. This indeed was but passing from one -erroneous persuasion to another, and a more inviting one. But Isaac -Casaubon also had the grief of seeing a son seduced into the Romish -superstition, and on the part of that great and excellent man, there -had been no want of discretion in training him, nor of sound learning -and sound wisdom. Archbishop Leighton, an honor to his church, his -country, and his kind, was the child of one of those firebrands who -kindled the Great Rebellion. And Franklin had a son, who -notwithstanding the example of his father (and such a father!) -continued stedfast in his duty as a soldier and a subject; he took the -unsuccessful side—but</p> - -<center><small><i>nunquam successu crescat honestum.</i><small><sup>1</sup></small></small></center> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> L<small>UCAN</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>No such disappointment was destined to befal our Daniel. The way in -which he trained up his son was that into which the bent of the boy's -own nature would have led him; and all circumstances combined to -favour the tendency of his education. The country abounding in natural -objects of sublimity and beauty (some of these singular in their kind) -might have impressed a duller imagination than had fallen to his lot; -and that imagination had time enough for its workings during his -solitary walks to and from school morning and evening. His home was in -a lonely spot; and having neither brother nor sister, nor neighbours -near enough in any degree to supply their place as playmates, he -became his father's companion imperceptibly as he ceased to be his -fondling. And the effect was hardly less apparent in Daniel than in -the boy. He was no longer the same taciturn person as of yore; it -seemed as if his tongue had been loosened, and when the reservoirs of -his knowledge were opened they flowed freely.</p> - -<p>Their chimney corner on a winter's evening presented a group not -unworthy of Sir Joshua's pencil. There sate Daniel, richer in -marvellous stories than ever traveller who in the days of mendacity -returned from the East; the peat fire shining upon a countenance which -weather-hardened as it was, might have given the painter a model for a -Patriarch, so rare was the union which it exhibited of intelligence, -benevolence and simplicity. There sate the boy with open eyes and -ears, raised head, and fallen lip, in all the happiness of wonder and -implicit belief. There sate Dinah, not less proud of her husband's -learning than of the towardly disposition and promising talents of her -son,—twirling the thread at her spinning wheel, but attending to all -that past; and when there was a pause in the discourse, fetching a -deep sigh, and exclaiming “Lord bless us! what wonderful things there -are in the world!” There also sate Haggy, knitting stockings, and -sharing in the comforts and enjoyments of the family when the day's -work was done. And there sate William Dove;—but William must have a -chapter to himself.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect24"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER X. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>ONE WHO WAS NOT SO WISE AS HIS FRIENDS COULD HAVE WISHED, AND YET -QUITE AS HAPPY AS IF HE HAD BEEN WISER. NEPOTISM NOT CONFINED TO -POPES.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem42"> - <tr><td><small>There are of madmen as there are of tame,<br> - All humoured not alike.———Some<br> - Apish and fantastic;<br> - And though 'twould grieve a soul to see God's image<br> - So blemished and defaced, yet do they act<br> - Such antic and such pretty lunacies,<br> - That spite of sorrow, they will make you smile.<br> - - - - - -D<small>EKKER</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>William Dove was Daniel's only surviving brother, seven years his -junior. He was born with one of those heads in which the thin -partition that divides great wits from folly is wanting. Had he come -into the world a century sooner, he would have been taken <i>nolens -volens</i> into some Baron's household, to wear motley, make sport for -the guests and domestics, and live in fear of the rod. But it was his -better fortune to live in an age when this calamity rendered him -liable to no such oppression, and to be precisely in that station -which secured for him all the enjoyments of which he was capable, and -all the care he needed. In higher life, he would probably have been -consigned to the keeping of strangers who would have taken charge of -him for pay; in a humbler degree he must have depended upon the parish -for support; or have been made an inmate of one of those moral -lazar-houses in which age and infancy, the harlot and the idiot, the -profligate and the unfortunate are herded together.</p> - -<p>William Dove escaped these aggravations of calamity. He escaped also -that persecution to which he would have been exposed in populous -places where boys run loose in packs, and harden one another in -impudence, mischief and cruelty. Natural feeling, when natural feeling -is not corrupted, leads men to regard persons in his condition with a -compassion not unmixed with awe. It is common with the country people -when they speak of such persons to point significantly at the head and -say <i>'tis not all there;</i>—words denoting a sense of the -mysteriousness of our nature which perhaps they feel more deeply on -this than on any other occasion. No outward and visible deformity can -make them so truly apprehend how fearfully and wonderfully we are -made.</p> - -<p>William Dove's was not a case of fatuity. Though <i>all</i> was not there, -there was a great deal. He was what is called <i>half-saved</i>. Some of -his faculties were more than ordinarily acute, but the power of self -conduct was entirely wanting in him. Fortunately it was supplied by a -sense of entire dependence which produced entire docility. A dog does -not obey his master more dutifully than William obeyed his brother; -and in this obedience there was nothing of fear; with all the strength -and simplicity of a child's love, it had also the character and merit -of a moral attachment.</p> - -<p>The professed and privileged Fool was generally characterized by a -spice of knavery, and not unfrequently of maliciousness: the unnatural -situation in which he was placed, tended to excite such propensities -and even to produce them. William had shrewdness enough for the -character, but nothing of this appeared in his disposition; ill-usage -might perhaps have awakened it, and to a fearful degree, if he had -proved as sensible to injury as he was to kindness. But he had never -felt an injury. He could not have been treated with more tenderness in -Turkey (where a degree of holiness is imputed to persons in his -condition) than was uniformly shewn him within the little sphere of -his perambulations. It was surprizing how much he had picked up within -that little sphere. Whatever event occurred, whatever tale was -current, whatever traditions were preserved, whatever superstitions -were believed, William knew them all; and all that his insatiable ear -took in, his memory hoarded. Half the proverbial sayings in Ray's -volume were in his head, and as many more with which Ray was -unacquainted. He knew many of the stories which our children are now -receiving as novelties in the selections from Grimm's <i>Kinder- und -Haus-Marchen</i>, and as many of those which are collected in the Danish -Folk-Sagn. And if some zealous lover of legendary lore, (like poor -John Leyden, or Sir Walter Scott) had fallen in with him, the -Shakesperian commentators might perhaps have had the whole story of -St. Withold; the Wolf of the World's End might have been identified -with Fenris and found to be a relic of the Scalds: and Rauf Collyer -and John the Reeve might still have been as well known as Adam Bell, -and Clym of the Clough and William of Cloudeslie.</p> - -<p>William had a great fondness for his nephew. Let not Protestants -suppose that Nepotism is an affection confined to the dignitaries of -the Roman Catholic Church. In its excess indeed it is peculiarly a -Papal vice,—which is a degree higher than a Cardinal one; but like -many other sins it grows out of the corruption of a good feeling. It -may be questioned whether fond uncles are not as numerous as unkind -ones, notwithstanding our recollections of King Richard and the -Children in the Wood. We may use the epithet nepotious for those who -carry this fondness to the extent of doting, and as expressing that -degree of fondness it may be applied to William Dove: he was a -nepotious uncle. The father regarded young Daniel with a deeper and -more thoughtful, but not with a fonder affection, not with such a -doting attachment. Dinah herself, though a fond as well as careful -mother did not more thoroughly</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem43"> - <tr><td><small> - ———delight to hear<br> - Her early child mis-speak half-uttered words;<small><sup>1</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>and perhaps the boy so long as he was incapable of distinguishing -between their moral qualities, and their relative claims to his -respect and love and duty, loved his uncle most of the three. The -father had no idle hours; in the intervals when he was not otherwise -employed, one of his dear books usually lay open before him, and if he -was not feeding upon the page, he was ruminating the food it had -afforded him. But William Dove from the time that his nephew became -capable of noticing and returning caresses seemed to have concentered -upon him all his affections. With children affection seldom fails of -finding its due return; and if he had not thus won the boy's heart in -infancy, he would have secured it in childhood by winning his ear with -these marvellous stories. But he possessed another talent which would -alone have made him a favourite with children,—the power of imitating -animal sounds with singular perfection. A London manager would have -paid him well for performing the cock in Hamlet. He could bray in -octaves to a nicety, set the geese gabbling by addressing them in -their own tongue, and make the turkey-cock spread his fan, brush his -wing against the ground, and angrily gob-gobble in answer to a gobble -of defiance. But he prided himself more upon his success with the -owls, as an accomplishment of more difficult attainment. In this Mr. -Wordsworth's boy of Winander was not more perfect. Both hands were -used as an instrument in producing the notes; and if Pope could have -heard the responses which came from barn and doddered oak and ivied -crag, he would rather, (satirist as he was,) have left Ralph -unsatirized, than have vilified one of the wildest and sweetest of -nocturnal sounds.</p> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> D<small>ONNE</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>He was not less expert to a human ear in hitting off the wood-pigeon's -note, though he could not in this instance provoke a reply. This sound -he used to say ought to be natural to him, and it was wrong in the -bird not to acknowledge his relation. Once when he had made too free -with a lasses lips, he disarmed his brother of a reprehensive look, by -pleading that as his name was William Dove it behoved him both to -<i>bill</i> and to <i>coo</i>.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect25"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XI. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>A WORD TO THE READER, SHEWING WHERE WE ARE, AND HOW WE CAME HERE, AND -WHEREFORE; AND WHITHER WE ARE GOING.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem44"> - <tr><td><small> -'Tis my venture<br> - On your retentive wisdom.<br> - - -B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Reader, you have not forgotten where we are at this time: you remember -I trust, that we are neither at Dan nor Beersheba; nor any where -between those two celebrated places; nor on the way to either of them: -but that we are in the Doctor's parlour, that Mrs. Dove has just -poured out his seventh cup of tea, and that the clock of St. George's -has struck five. In what street, parade, place, square, row, terrace -or lane, and in what town, and in what county; and on what day, and in -what month, and in what year, will be explained in due time. You -cannot but remember what was said in the second chapter <i>post-initium</i> -concerning the importance and the necessity of order in an undertaking -like this. “All things,” says Sir Thomas Brown, “began in order; so -shall they end, and so shall they begin again; according to the -ordainer of order, and mystical mathematics of the City of Heaven:” -This awful sentence was uttered by the Philosopher of Norwich upon -occasion of a subject less momentous than that whereon we have -entered, for what are the mysteries of the <i>Quincunx</i> compared to the -delineation of a human mind? Be pleased only at present to bear in -mind where we are. Place but as much confidence in me as you do in -your review, your newspaper, and your apothecary; give me but as much -credit as you expect from your tailor; and if your apothecary deserves -that confidence as well, it will be well for you, and if your credit -is as punctually redeemed it will be well for your tailor. It is not -without cause that I have gone back to the Doctor's childhood and his -birth place. Be thou assured, O Reader! that he never could have been -seated thus comfortably in that comfortable parlour where we are now -regarding him—never by possibility could have been at that time in -that spot, and in those circumstances;—never could have been the -Doctor that he was,—nay according to all reasonable induction, all -tangible or imaginable probabilities,—never would have been a Doctor -at all,—consequently thou never couldst have had the happiness of -reading this delectable history, nor I the happiness of writing it for -thy benefit and information and delight,—had it not been for his -father's character, his father's books, his schoolmaster Guy, and his -Uncle William, with all whom and which, it was therefore indispensable -that thou shouldst be made acquainted.</p> - -<p>A metaphysician, or as some of my contemporaries would affect to say a -psychologist, if he were at all a master of his art bablative (for it -is as much an <i>ars bablativa</i> as the Law, which was defined to be so -by that old traitor and time-server Serjeant Maynard)—a metaphysician -I say, would not require more than three such octavo volumes as those -of Mr. Malthus's Essay on Population, to prove that no existing -circumstance could at this time be what it is, unless all preceding -circumstances had from the beginning of time been precisely what they -were. But, my good Reader, I have too much respect for you, and too -much regard for your precious time, and too much employment, or -amusement (which is a very rational kind of employment) for my own, to -waste it in demonstrating a truism. No man knows the value of time -more feelingly, than I do!</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem45"> - <tr><td><small> - -Man's life, Sir, being<br> - So short, and then the way that leads unto<br> - The knowledge of ourselves, so long and tedious,<br> - Each minute should be precious.<small><sup>1</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> B<small>EAUMONT</small> and -F<small>LETCHER</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>It is my wish and intention to make you acquainted with a person most -worthy to be known, for such the subject of this history will be -admitted to be: one whom when you once know him it will be impossible -that you should ever forget: one for whom I have the highest possible -veneration and regard; (and though it is not possible that your -feelings towards him should be what mine are) one who, the more he is -known, will and must be more and more admired. I wish to introduce -this person to you. Now, Sir, I appeal to your good sense, and to your -own standard of propriety, should I act with sufficient respect either -to yourself or him, if, without giving you any previous intimation, -any information, concerning his character and situation in life; or in -any way apprizing you who and what he was, I were to knock at your -door and simply present him to you as Doctor Dove? No, my dear Sir! it -is indispensable that you should be properly informed who it is whom I -thus introduce to your acquaintance; and if you are the judicious -person that I suppose you to be, you will be obliged to me as long as -you live. “For why,” as old Higgins hath it,—</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem46"> - <tr><td><small>For why, who writes such histories as these<br> - Doth often bring the Reader's heart such ease<br> - As when they sit and see what he doth note,<br> - Well fare his heart, say they, this book that wrote!</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>Ill fare that reader's heart who of this book says otherwise! “<i>Tam -suavia dicam facinora, ut malè sit ei qui talibus non delectetur!</i>” -said a very different person from old Higgins, writing in a different -vein, I have not read his book, but so far as my own is concerned, I -heartily adopt his malediction.</p> - -<p>Had I been disposed, as the Persians say, to let the steed of the pen -expatiate in the plains of prolixity, I should have carried thee -farther back in the generations of the Doves. But the good garrulous -son of Garcilasso my Lord (Heaven rest the soul of the Princess who -bore him,—for Peru has never produced any thing else half so precious -as his delightful books,)—the Inca-blooded historian himself, I say, -was not more anxious to avoid that failing than I am. Forgive me, -Reader, if I should have fallen into an opposite error; forgive me if -in the fear of saying too much I should have said too little. I have -my misgivings:—I may have run upon Scylla while striving to avoid -Charybdis. Much interesting matter have I omitted; much have I past by -on which I “cast a longing lingering look behind;”—much which might -worthily find a place in the History of Yorkshire;—or of the West -Riding (if that history were tripartitively distributed;)—or in the -Gentleman's Magazine;—or in John Nichols's Illustrations of the -Literary History of the Eighteenth Century: (I honor John Nichols, I -honor Mr. Urban!) much more might it have had place,—much more might -it be looked for here.</p> - -<p>I might have told thee, Reader, of Daniel the Grandfather, and of -Abigail his second wife, who once tasted tea in the housekeeper's -apartments at Skipton Castle; and of the Great Grandfather who at the -age of twenty-eight died of the small pox, and was the last of the -family that wore a leathern jerkin; and of his father Daniel the -<i>atavus</i>, who was the first of the family that shaved, and who went -with his own horse and arms to serve in that brave troop, which during -the wreck of the King's party the heir of Lowther raised for the loyal -cause: and of that Daniel's Grandfather (the <i>tritavus</i>) who going to -Kentmere to bring home a wife was converted from the popish -superstition by falling in with Bernard Gilpin on the way. That -apostolic man was so well pleased with his convert, that he gave him -his own copy of Latimer's sermons,—that copy which was one of our -Daniel's Sunday books, and which was religiously preserved in -reverence for this ancestor, and for the Apostle of the North (as -Bernard Gilpin was called) whose autograph it contained.</p> - -<p>The history of any private family, however humble, could it be fully -related for five or six generations, would illustrate the state and -progress of society better than could be done by the most elaborate -dissertation. And the History of the Doves might be rendered as -interesting and as instructive as that of the Seymours or the Howards. -Frown not, My Lord of Norfolk, frown not, your Grace of Somerset, when -I add, that it would contain less for their descendants to regret.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect26"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XII. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>A HISTORY NOTICED WHICH IS WRITTEN BACKWARD. THE CONFUSION OF TONGUES -AN ESPECIAL EVIL FOR SCHOOLBOYS.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem47"> - <tr><td><small>For never in the long and tedious tract<br> - Of slavish grammar was I made to plod;<br> - No tyranny of Rules my patience rackt;<br> - I served no prenticehood to any Rod;<br> - But in the freedom of the Practic way<br> - Learnt to go right, even when I went astray.<br> - - - -D<small>R</small>. B<small>EAUMONT</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>It has been the general practice of historians, from the time of -Moses, to begin at the beginning of their subject: but as a river may -be traced either from its sources or its mouth, so it appears that a -history may be composed in the reversed order of its chronology; and a -French author of very considerable ability and great learning has -actually written a history of the Christian religion from his own -times upwards. It forms part of an elaborate and extensive work -entitled <i>Parallele des Religions</i>, which must have been better known -than it appears to be at present if it had not happened to be -published in Paris during the most turbulent year of the Revolution. -Perhaps if I had carried back the memoirs of the Dove family, I might -have followed his example in chusing the up-hill way, and have -proceeded from son to father in the ascending line. But having -resolved (whether judiciously or not) not to go farther back in these -family records than the year of our Lord 1723, being the year of the -Doctor's birth, I shall continue in the usual course, and pursue his -history <i>ab incunabulis</i> down to that important evening on which we -find him now reaching out his hand to take that cup of tea which Mrs. -Dove has just creamed and sugared for him. After all the beaten way is -usually the best, and always the safest. “He ought to be well -mounted,” says Aaron Hill, “who is for leaping the hedges of custom.” -For myself I am not so adventurous a horseman as to take the hazards -of a steeple chace.</p> - -<p>Proceeding therefore after the model of a Tyburn biography, which -being an ancient as well as popular form is likely to be the best,—we -come after birth and parentage to education. “That the world from -Babel was scattered into divers tongues, we need not other proof,” -says a grave and good author, “than as Diogenes proved that there is -motion,—by walking;—so we may see the confusion of languages by our -confused speaking. Once all the earth was of one tongue, one speech -and one consent; for they all spake in the holy tongue wherein the -world was created in the beginning. But <i>pro peccato dissentionis -humanæ</i> (as saith St. Austin,)—for the sin of men disagreeing,—not -only different dispositions but also different languages came into the -world.—They came to Babel with a disagreeing agreement; and they came -away punished with a speechless speech. They disagree among -themselves, while every one strives for dominion. They agree against -God in their <i>Nagnavad lan Liguda</i>,—we will make ourselves a -rendezvous for idolatry. But they come away speaking to each other, -but not understood of each other; and so speak to no more purpose than if -they spake not at all. This punishment of theirs at Babel is like -Adam's corruption, hereditary to us; for we never come under the rod -at the Grammar School, but we smart for our ancestor's rebellion at -Babel.”</p> - -<p>Light lie the earth upon the bones of Richard Guy, the Schoolmaster of -Ingleton! He never consumed birch enough in his vocation to have made -a besom; and his ferule was never applied unless when some moral -offence called for a chastisement that would be felt. There is a -closer connection between good-nature and good sense than is commonly -supposed. A sour ill-tempered pedagogue would have driven Daniel -through the briars and brambles of the Grammar and foundered him in -its sloughs; Guy led him gently along the green-sward. He felt that -childhood should not be made altogether a season of painful -acquisition, and that the fruits of the sacrifices then made are -uncertain as to the account to which they may be turned, and are also -liable to the contingencies of life at least, if not otherwise -jeopardized. “<i>Puisque le jour peut lui manquer, laissons le un peu -jouir de l'Aurore!</i>” The precepts which warmth of imagination inspired -in Jean Jacques was impressed upon Guy's practice by gentleness of -heart. He never crammed the memory of his pupil with such horrific -terms as Prothesis, Aphæresis, Epenthesis, Syncope, Paragoge, and -Apocope; never questioned him concerning Appositio, Evocatio, -Syllepsis, Prolepsis, Zeugma, Synthesis, Antiptosis, and Synecdoche; -never attempted to deter him (as Lily says boys are above all things -to be deterred) from those faults which Lily also says, seem almost -natural to the English,—the heinous faults of Iotacism, Lambdacism, -(which Alcibiades affected,)—Ischnotesism, Trauli'sm and Plateasm. -But having grounded him well in the nouns and verbs, and made him -understand the concords, he then followed in part the excellent advice -of Lily thus given in his address to the Reader:</p> - -<p>“When these concords be well known unto them (an easy and pleasant -pain, if the foregrounds be well and thoroughly beaten in) let them -not continue in learning of the rules orderly, as they lie in their -Syntax, but rather learn some pretty book wherein is contained not -only the eloquence of the tongue, but also a good plain lesson of -honesty and godliness; and thereof take some little sentence as it -lieth, and learn to make the same first out of English into Latin, not -seeing the book, or construing it thereupon. And if there fall any -necessary rule of the Syntax to be known, then to learn it, as the -occasion of the sentence giveth cause that day; which sentence once -made well, and as nigh as may be with the words of the book, then to -take the book and construe it; and so shall he be less troubled with -the parsing of it, and easiliest carry his lesson in mind.”</p> - -<p>Guy followed this advice in part; and in part he deviated from it, -upon Lily's own authority, as “judging that the most sufficient way -which he saw to be the readiest mean;” while therefore he exercised -his pupil in writing Latin pursuant to this plan, he carried him on -faster in construing, and promoted the boy's progress by gratifying -his desire of getting forward. When he had done with Cordery, Erasmus -was taken up,—for some of Erasmus's colloquies were in those days -used as a school book, and the most attractive one that could be put -into a boy's hands. After he had got through this, the aid of an -English version was laid aside. And here Guy departed from the -ordinary course, not upon any notion that he could improve upon it, -but merely because he happened to possess an old book composed for the -use of Schools, which was easy enough to suit young Daniel's progress -in the language, and might therefore save the cost of purchasing -Justin or Phædrus or Cornelius Nepos, or Eutropius,—to one or other -of which he would otherwise have been introduced.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect27"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XIII. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>A DOUBT CONCERNING SCHOOL BOOKS, WHICH WILL BE DEEMED HERETICAL: AND -SOME ACCOUNT OF AN EXTRAORDINARY SUBSTITUTE FOR OVID OR VIRGIL.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>They say it is an ill mason that refuseth any stone; and there is no -knowledge but in a skilful hand serves, either positively as it is, or -else to illustrate some other knowledge.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>H<small>ERBERT'S</small> R<small>EMAINS</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>I am sometimes inclined to think that pigs are brought up upon a wiser -system, than boys at a grammar school. The Pig is allowed to feed upon -any kind of offal, however coarse, on which he can thrive, till the -time approaches when pig is to commence pork, or take a degree as -bacon; and then he is fed daintily. Now it has sometimes appeared to -me that in like manner, boys might acquire their first knowledge of -Latin from authors very inferior to those which are now used in all -schools; provided the matter was unexceptionable and the Latinity -good; and that they should not be introduced to the standard works of -antiquity till they are of an age in some degree to appreciate what -they read.</p> - -<p>Understand me, Reader, as speaking doubtfully,—and that too upon a -matter of little moment; for the scholar will return in riper years to -those authors which are worthy of being studied, and as for the -blockhead—it signifies nothing whether the book which he consumes by -thumbing it in the middle and dog-earing it at the corners be worthy -or not of a better use. Yet if the dead have any cognizance of -posthumous fame, one would think it must abate somewhat of the -pleasure with which Virgil and Ovid regard their earthly immortality, -when they see to what base purposes their productions are applied. -That their verses should be administered to boys in regular doses, as -lessons or impositions, and some dim conception of their meaning whipt -into the tail when it has failed to penetrate the head, cannot be just -the sort of homage to their genius which they anticipated or desired.</p> - -<p>Not from any reasonings or refinements of this kind, but from the mere -accident of possessing the book, Guy put into his pupil's hands the -Dialogues of Johannes Ravisius Textor. Jean Tixier, Seigneur de -Ravisy, in the Nivernois, who thus latinized his name, is a person -whose works, according to Baillet's severe censure, were buried in the -dust of a few petty colleges and unfrequented shops, more than a -century ago. He was however in his day a person of no mean station in -the world of letters, having been Rector of the University of Paris, -at the commencement of the 16th century; and few indeed are the -writers whose books have been so much used; for perhaps no other -author ever contributed so largely to the manufacture of exercises -whether in prose or verse, and of sermons also. Textor may be -considered as the first compiler of the <i>Gradus ad Parnassum;</i> and -that collection of Apopthegms was originally formed by him, which -Conrade Lycosthenes enlarged and re-arranged; which the Jesuits -adopted after expurgating it; and which during many generations served -as one of the standard common-place books for common-place divines in -this country as well as on the continent.</p> - -<p>But though Textor was continually working in classical literature with -a patience and perseverance which nothing but the delight he -experienced in such occupations could have sustained, he was without a -particle of classical taste. His taste was that of the age wherein he -flourished, and these his Dialogues are Moralities in Latin verse. The -designs and thoughts which would have accorded with their language had -they been written either in old French or old English, appear when -presented in Latinity, which is always that of a scholar, and largely -interwoven with scraps from familiar classics, as strange as Harlequin -and Pantaloon would do in heroic costume.</p> - -<p>Earth opens the first of these curious compositions with a bitter -complaint for the misfortunes which it is her lot to witness. Age -(<i>Ætas</i>) overhears the lamentation and enquires the cause; and after a -dialogue in which the author makes the most liberal use of his own -common-places, it appears that the perishable nature of all sublunary -things is the cause of this mourning. <i>Ætas</i> endeavours to persuade -<i>Terra</i> that her grief is altogether unreasonable by such brief and -cogent observations as <i>Fata jubent</i>, <i>Fata volunt</i>, <i>Ita Diis -placitum</i>. Earth asks the name of her philosophic consoler, but upon -discovering it, calls her <i>falsa virago</i>, and <i>meretrix</i>, and abuses -her as being the very author of all the evils that distress her. -However <i>Ætas</i> succeeds in talking <i>Terra</i> into better humour, advises -her to exhort man that he should not set his heart upon perishable -things, and takes her leave as <i>Homo</i> enters. After a recognition -between mother and son, <i>Terra</i> proceeds to warn <i>Homo</i> against all -the ordinary pursuits of this world. To convince him of the vanity of -glory she calls up in succession the ghosts of Hector, Achilles, -Alexander and Samson, who tell their tales and admonish him that valor -and renown afford no protection against Death. To exemplify the vanity -of beauty Helen, Lais, Thisbe and Lucretia are summoned, relate in -like manner their respective fortunes, and remind him that <i>pulvis et -umbra sumus</i>. Virgil preaches to him upon the emptiness of literary -fame. Xerxes tells him that there is no avail in power, Nero that -there is none in tyranny, Sardanapalus that there is none in -voluptuousness. But the application which <i>Homo</i> makes of all this, is -the very reverse to what his mother intended: he infers that seeing he -must die at last, live how he will, the best thing he can do is to -make a merry life of it, so away he goes to dance and revel and enjoy -himself: and <i>Terra</i> concludes with the mournful observation that men -will still pursue their bane, unmindful of their latter end.</p> - -<p>Another of these Moralities begins with three Worldlings (<i>Tres -Mundani</i>) ringing changes upon the pleasures of profligacy, in -Textor's peculiar manner, each in regular succession saying something -to the same purport in different words. As thus</p> - -<blockquote><small>P<small>RIMUS</small> M<small>UNDANUS</small>.<br> - <i>Si breve tempus abit</i>,</small></blockquote> - -<blockquote><small> S<small>ECUNDUS</small> M<small>UNDANUS</small>.<br> - -<i>Si vita caduca recedit;</i></small></blockquote> - -<blockquote><small> - T<small>ERTIUS</small> M<small>UNDANUS</small>.<br> - - <i>Si cadit hora</i>.</small></blockquote> - -<blockquote><small>P<small>RIMUS</small> M<small>UNDANUS</small>.<br> - <i>Dies abeunt</i>,</small></blockquote> - -<blockquote><small> S<small>ECUNDUS</small> M<small>UNDANUS</small>.<br> - -<i>Perit Omne</i>,</small></blockquote> - -<blockquote><small> - T<small>ERTIUS</small> M<small>UNDANUS</small>.<br> - - <i>Venit Mors</i>,</small></blockquote> - -<blockquote><small>P<small>RIMUS</small> M<small>UNDANUS</small>.<br> - <i>Quidnam prodesset fati meminisse futuri?</i></small></blockquote> - -<blockquote><small>S<small>ECUNDUS</small> M<small>UNDANUS</small>.<br> - <i>Quidnam prodesset lachrymis consumere vitam?</i></small></blockquote> - -<blockquote><small>T<small>ERTIUS</small> M<small>UNDANUS</small>.<br> - <i>Quidnam prodesset tantis incumbere curis?</i></small></blockquote> - -<p>Upon which an unpleasant personage who has just appeared to interrupt -their trialogue observes,</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem48"> - <tr><td><small><i>Si breve tempus abit, si vita caduca recedit,<br> - Si cadit hora, dies abeunt, perit omne, venit Mors,<br> - Quidnam lethiferæ Mortis meminisse nocebit?</i></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>It is <i>Mors</i> herself who asks the question. The three Worldlings -however behave as resolutely as Don Juan in the old drama; they tell -Death that they are young and rich and active and vigorous, and set -all admonition at defiance. Death or rather Mrs. Death, (for <i>Mors</i> -being feminine is called <i>læna</i>, and <i>meretrix</i>, and <i>virago</i>,) takes -all this patiently, and letting them go off in a dance, calls up Human -Nature who has been asleep meantime, and asks her how she can sleep in -peace while her sons are leading a life of dissipation and debauchery? -Nature very coolly replies by demanding why they should not? and Death -answers, because they must go to the infernal regions for so doing. -Upon this Nature, who appears to be liberally inclined, asks if it is -credible that any should be obliged to go there? and Death to convince -her calls up a soul from bale to give an account of his own -sufferings. A dreadful account this <i>Damnatus</i> gives; and when Nature, -shocked at what she hears, enquires if he is the only one who is -tormented in <i>Orcus</i>, <i>Damnatus</i> assures her that hardly one in a -thousand goes to Heaven, but that his fellow-sufferers are in number -numberless; and he specifies among them Kings and Popes, and Senators -and severe Schoolmasters,—a class of men whom Textor seems to have -held in great and proper abhorrence—as if like poor Thomas Tusser he -had suffered under their inhuman discipline.</p> - -<p>Horrified at this, Nature asks advice of <i>Mors</i>, and <i>Mors</i> advises -her to send a Son of Thunder round the world, who should reprove the -nations for their sins, and sow the seeds of virtue by his preaching. -<i>Peregrinus</i> goes upon this mission and returns to give an account of -it. Nothing can be worse than the report. As for the Kings of the -Earth, it would be dangerous, he says, to say what they were doing. -The Popes suffered the ship of Peter to go wherever the winds carried -it. Senators were won by intercession or corrupted by gold. Doctors -spread their nets in the temples for prey, and Lawyers were dumb -unless their tongues were loosened by money.—Had he seen the -Italians?—Italy was full of dissentions, ripe for war, and defiled by -its own infamous vice. The Spaniards?—They were suckled by Pride. The -English?—</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem49"> - <tr><td><small><i>Gens tacitis prægnans arcanis, ardua tentans,<br> - Edita tartareis mihi creditur esse tenebris.</i></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>In short the Missionary concludes that he has found every where an -abundant crop of vices, and that all his endeavours to produce -amendment have been like ploughing the sea shore. Again afflicted -Nature asks advice of <i>Mors</i>, and <i>Mors</i> recommends that she should -call up Justice and send her abroad with her scourge to repress the -wicked. But Justice is found to be so fast asleep that no calling can -awaken her. <i>Mors</i> then advises her to summon <i>Veritas;</i> alas! unhappy -<i>Veritas</i> enters complaining of pains from head to foot and in all the -intermediate parts, within and without; she is dying and entreats that -Nature will call some one to confess her. But who shall be applied -to?—Kings? They will not come.—Nobles? <i>Veritas</i> is a hateful -personage to them.—Bishops, or mitred Abbots? They have no regard for -Truth.—Some Saint from the desert? Nature knows not where to find -one! Poor <i>Veritas</i> therefore dies “unhouseled, disappointed, -unanealed;” and forthwith three Demons enter rejoicing that Human -Nature is left with none to help her, and that they are Kings of this -world. They call in their Ministers, <i>Caro</i> and <i>Voluptas</i> and -<i>Vitium</i>, and send them to do their work among mankind. These -successful missionaries return, and relate how well they have sped -every where; and the Demons being by this time hungry, after washing -in due form, and many ceremonious compliments among themselves, sit -down to a repast which their ministers have provided. The bill of fare -was one which Beelzebub's Court of Aldermen might have approved. There -were the brains of a fat monk,—a roasted Doctor of Divinity who -afforded great satisfaction,—a King's sirloin,—some broiled Pope's -flesh, and part of a Schoolmaster; the joint is not specified, but I -suppose it to have been the rump. Then came a Senator's lights and a -Lawyer's tongue.</p> - -<p>When they have eaten of these dainties till the distended stomach can -hold no more, <i>Virtus</i> comes in and seeing them send off the fragments -to their Tartarean den, calls upon mankind to bestow some sustenance -upon her, for she is tormented with hunger. The Demons and their -ministers insult her and drive her into banishment; they tell Nature -that to-morrow the great King of Orcus will come and carry her away in -chains; off they go in a dance, and Nature concludes the piece by -saying that what they have threatened must happen, unless Justice -shall be awakened, Virtue fed, and <i>Veritas</i> restored to life by the -sacred book.</p> - -<p>There are several other Dialogues in a similar strain of fiction. The -rudest and perhaps oldest specimen of this style is to be found in -Pierce Ploughman, the most polished in Calderon, the most popular in -John Bunyan's Holy War, and above all in his Pilgrim's Progress. It -appears from the Dialogues that they were not composed for the use of -youth alone as a school book, but were represented at College; and -poor as they are in point of composition, the oddity of their -combinations, and the wholesome honesty of their satire, were well -adapted to strike young imaginations and make an impression there -which better and wiser works might have failed to leave.</p> - -<p>A schoolmaster who had been regularly bred would have regarded such a -book with scorn, and discerning at once its obvious faults, would have -been incapable of perceiving any thing which might compensate for -them. But Guy was not educated well enough to despise a writer like -old Textor. What he knew himself, he had picked up where and how he -could, in bye ways and corners. The book was neither in any respect -above his comprehension, nor below his taste; and Joseph Warton, never -rolled off the hexameters of Virgil or Homer, <i>ore rotundo</i>, with more -delight, when expatiating with all the feelings of a scholar and a -poet upon their beauties, to such pupils as Headley and Russell and -Bowles, than Guy paraphrased these rude but striking allegories to his -delighted Daniel.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect28"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XIV. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>AN OBJECTION ANSWERED.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem50"> - <tr><td><small>Is this then your wonder?<br> - Nay then you shall under-<br> - stand more of my skill.<br> - - -B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>“This account of Textor's Dialogues,” says a critical Reader, “might -have done very well for the Retrospective Review, or one of the -Magazines, or D'Israeli's Curiosities of Literature. But no one would -have looked for it here, where it is completely out of place.”</p> - -<p>“My good Sir, there is quite enough left untouched in Textor to form a -very amusing paper for the journal which you have mentioned, and the -Editor may thank you for the hint. But you are mistaken in thinking -that what has been said of those Dialogues is out of place here. May I -ask what you expected in these volumes?”</p> - -<p>“What the Title authorized me to look for.”</p> - -<p>“Do you know, Sir, what mutton broth means at a city breakfast on the -Lord Mayor's Day, mutton broth being the appointed breakfast for that -festival? It means according to established usage—by liberal -interpretation—mutton broth and every thing else that can be wished -for at a breakfast. So, Sir, you have here not only what the title -seems to specify, but every thing else that can be wished for in a -book. In treating of the Doctor, it treats <i>de omnibus rebus et -quibusdam aliis</i>. It is the Doctor &c., and that &c., like one of -Lyttleton's, implies every thing that can be deduced from the words -preceding.</p> - -<p>“But I maintain that the little which has been said of comical old -Textor (for it is little compared to what his Dialogues contain) -strictly relates to the main thread of this most orderly and well -compacted work. You will remember that I am now replying to the -question proposed in the third chapter P. I. ‘Who was the Doctor?’ And -as he who should undertake to edite the works of Chaucer, or Spenser, -or Shakespear would not be qualified for the task, unless he had made -himself conversant with the writings of those earlier authors, from -whose storehouses (as far as they drew from books) their minds were -fed; so it behoved me (as far as my information and poor ability -extend) to explain in what manner so rare a character as Dr. Dove's -was formed.</p> - -<p>“<i>Quo semel est imbuta recens</i>,—you know the rest of the quotation, -Sir. And perhaps you may have tasted water out of a beery -glass,—which it is not one or two rinsings that can purify.</p> - -<p>“You have seen yew trees cut into the forms of pyramids, chess-kings, -and peacocks:—nothing can be more unlike their proper growth—and yet -no tree except the yew could take the artificial figures so well. The -garden passes into the possession of some new owner who has no taste -for such ornaments: the yews are left to grow at their own will; they -lose the preposterous shape which had been forced upon them, without -recovering that of their natural growth, and what was formal becomes -grotesque—a word which may be understood as expressing the -incongruous combination of formality with extravagance or wildness.”</p> - -<p>The intellectual education which young Daniel received at home was as -much out of the ordinary course as the book in which he studied at -school. Robinson Crusoe had not yet reached Ingleton. Sandford and -Merton had not been written, nor that history of Pecksey and Flapsey -and the Robin's Nest, which is the prettiest fiction that ever was -composed for children, and for which its excellent authoress will one -day rank high among women of genius when time shall have set its seal -upon desert. The only book within his reach, of all those which now -come into the hands of youth, was the Pilgrim's Progress, and this he -read at first without a suspicion of its allegorical import. What he -did not understand was as little remembered as the sounds of the wind, -or the motions of the passing clouds; but the imagery and the -incidents took possession of his memory and his heart. After a while -Textor became an interpreter of the immortal Tinker, and the boy -acquired as much of the meaning by glimpses as was desirable, enough -to render some of the personages more awful by spiritualizing them, -while the tale itself remained as a reality. Oh! what blockheads are -those wise persons who think it necessary that a child should -comprehend every thing it reads!</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect29"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XV. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>THE AUTHOR VENTURES AN OPINION AGAINST THE PREVAILING WISDOM OF MAKING -CHILDREN PREMATURELY WISE.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem51"> - <tr><td><small> -Pray you, use your freedom;<br> - And so far, if you please allow me mine,<br> - To hear you only; not to be compelled<br> - To take your moral potions.<br> - - - -M<small>ASSINGER</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>“What, Sir,” exclaims a Lady, who is bluer than ever one of her naked -and woad-stained ancestors appeared at a public festival in full -dye,—“what, Sir, do you tell us that children are not to be made to -understand what they are taught?” And she casts her eyes complacently -toward an assortment of those books which so many writers, male and -female, some of the infidel, some of the semi-fidel, and some of the -super-fidel schools have composed for the laudable purpose of enabling -children to understand every thing.—“What, Sir,” she repeats, “are we -to make our children learn things by rote like parrots, and fill their -heads with words to which they cannot attach any signification?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, Madam, in very many cases.”</p> - -<p>“I should like, Sir, to be instructed why?”</p> - -<p>She says this in a tone, and with an expression both of eyes and lips -which plainly show, in direct opposition to the words, that the Lady -thinks herself much fitter to instruct, than to be instructed. It is -not her fault. She is a good woman, and naturally a sensible one, but -she has been trained up in the way women should not go. She has been -carried from lecture to lecture, like a student who is being crammed -at a Scotch University. She has attended lectures on chemistry, -lectures on poetry, lectures on phrenology, lectures on mnemonics; she -has read the latest and most applauded essays on Taste: she has -studied the newest and most approved treatises practical and -theoretical upon Education: she has paid sufficient attention to -metaphysics to know as much as a professed philosopher about matter -and spirit; she is a proficient in political economy, and can -discourse upon the new science of population. Poor Lady, it would -require large draughts of Lethe to clear out all this undigested and -undigestible trash, and fit her for becoming what she might have been! -Upon this point however it may be practicable to set her right.</p> - -<p>“You are a mother, Madam, and a good one. In caressing your infants -you may perhaps think it unphilosophical to use what I should call the -proper and natural language of the nursery. But doubtless you talk to -them; you give some utterance to your feelings; and whether that -utterance be in legitimate and wise words, or in good extemporaneous -nonsense it is alike to the child. The conventional words convey no -more meaning to him than the mere sound; but he understands from -either all that is meant, all that you wish him to understand, all -that is to be understood. He knows that it is an expression of your -love and tenderness, and that he is the object of it.</p> - -<p>“So too it continues after he is advanced from infancy into childhood. -When children are beginning to speak they do not and cannot affix any -meaning to half the words which they hear; yet they learn their mother -tongue. What I say is, do not attempt to force their intellectual -growth. Do not feed them with meat till they have teeth to masticate -it.</p> - -<p>“There is a great deal which they ought to learn, can learn, and must -learn, before they can or ought to understand it. How many questions -must you have heard from them which you have felt to be best answered, -when they were with most dexterity put aside! Let me tell you a story -which the Jesuit Manuel de Vergara used to tell of himself. When he -was a little boy he asked a Dominican Friar what was the meaning of -the seventh commandment, for he said he could not tell what committing -adultery was. The Friar not knowing how to answer, cast a perplexed -look round the room, and thinking he had found a safe reply pointed to -a kettle on the fire, and said the Commandment meant that he must -never put his hand in the pot while it was boiling. The very next day, -a loud scream alarmed the family, and behold there was little Manuel -running about the room holding up his scalded finger, and exclaiming -‘Oh dear, oh dear, I've committed adultery! I've committed adultery! -I've committed adultery!’”</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect30"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XVI. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>USE AND ABUSE OF STORIES IN REASONING, WITH A WORD IN BEHALF OF -CHIMNEY-SWEEPERS AND IN REPROOF OF THE EARL OF LAUDERDALE.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>My particular inclination moves me in controversy especially to -approve his choice that said, <i>fortia mallem quam formosa</i>.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>D<small>R</small>. J<small>ACKSON</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>I ended that last chapter with a story, and though “I say it who -should not say it,” it is a good story well applied. Of what use a -story may be even in the most serious debates may be seen from the -circulation of old Joes in Parliament, which are as current there as -their sterling namesakes used to be in the city some threescore years -ago. A jest though it should be as stale as last weeks newspaper, and -as flat as Lord Flounder's face, is sure to be received with laughter -by the Collective Wisdom of the Nation: nay it is sometimes thrown out -like a tub to the whale, or like a trail of carrion to draw off hounds -from the scent.</p> - -<p>The Bill which should have put an end to the inhuman practice of -employing children to sweep chimneys, was thrown out on the third -reading in the House of Lords (having passed the Commons without a -dissentient voice) by a speech from Lord Lauderdale, the force of -which consisted in, literally, a Joe Millar jest. He related that an -Irishman used to sweep his chimney by letting a rope down, which was -fastened round the legs of a goose, and then pulling the goose after -it. A neighbour to whom he recommended this as a convenient mode -objected to it upon the score of cruelty to the goose: upon which he -replied, that a couple of ducks might do as well. Now if the Bill -before the house had been to enact that men should no longer sweep -chimneys but that boys should be used instead, the story would have -been applicable. It was no otherwise applicable than as it related to -chimney-sweeping: but it was a joke, and that sufficed. The Lords -laughed; his Lordship had the satisfaction of throwing out the Bill, -and the home Negro trade has continued from that time, now seven -years, till this day, and still continues. His Lordship had his jest, -and it is speaking within compass to say that in the course of those -seven years two thousand children have been <i>sacrificed</i> in -consequence.</p> - -<p>The worst actions of Lord Lauderdale's worst ancestor admit of a -better defence before God and Man.</p> - -<p>Had his Lordship perused the evidence which had been laid before the -House of Commons when the Bill was brought in, upon which evidence the -Bill was founded? Was he aware of the shocking barbarities connected -with the trade, and inseparable from it? Did he know that children -inevitably lacerate themselves in learning this dreadful occupation? -that they are frequently crippled by it? frequently lose their lives -in it by suffocation, or by slow fire? that it induces a peculiar and -dreadful disease? that they who survive the accumulated hardships of a -childhood during which they are exposed to every kind of misery, and -destitute of every kind of comfort, have at the age of seventeen or -eighteen to seek their living how they can in some other -employment,—for it is only by children that this can be carried on? -Did his Lordship know that girls as well as boys are thus abused? that -their sufferings begin at the age of six, sometimes a year earlier? -finally that they are sold to this worst and most inhuman of all -slaveries, and sometimes stolen for the purpose of being sold to it?</p> - -<p>I bear no ill-will towards Lord Lauderdale, either personally or -politically: far from it. His manly and honorable conduct on the -Queen's trial, when there was such an utter destitution of honor in -many quarters where it was believed to exist, and so fearful a want of -manliness where it ought to have been found, entitles him to the -respect and gratitude of every true Briton. But I will tell his -Lordship that rather than have spoken as he did against an act which -would have lessened the sum of wickedness and suffering in this -country,—rather than have treated a question of pure humanity with -contempt and ridicule,—rather than have employed my tongue for such a -purpose and with such success, I would———But no: I will not tell -him how I had concluded. I will not tell him what I had added in the -sincerity of a free tongue and an honest heart. I leave the sentence -imperfect rather than that any irritation which the strength of my -language might excite should lessen the salutary effects of -self-condemnation.</p> - -<p>James Montgomery! these remarks are too late for a place in thy -Chimney Sweepers' Friend: but insert them I pray thee in thy -newspaper, at the request of one who admires and loves thee as a Poet, -honors and respects thee as a man, and reaches out in spirit at this -moment a long arm to shake hands with thee in cordial good will.</p> - -<p>My compliments to you Mr. Bowring! your little poem in Montgomery's -benevolent album is in a strain of true poetry and right feeling. None -but a man of genius could have struck off such stanzas upon such a -theme. But when you wrote upon Humanity at Home, the useful reflection -might have occurred that Patriotism has no business abroad. Whatever -cause there may be to wish for amendment in the government and -institutions of other countries, keep aloof from all revolutionary -schemes for amending them, lest you should experience a far more -painful disappointment in their success than in their failure. No -spirit of prophecy is required for telling you that this must be the -result. Lay not up that cause of remorse for yourself, and time will -ripen in you what is crude, confirm what is right, and gently rectify -all that is erroneous; it will abate your political hopes, and enlarge -your religious faith, and stablish both upon a sure foundation. My -good wishes and sincere respects to you Mr. Bowring!</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect31"></a> -<br> -<h4>INTERCHAPTER II.</h4> - -<center><small>ABALLIBOOZOBANGANORRIBO.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small><i>Io'l dico dunque, e dicol che ognun m'ode.</i></small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>B<small>ENEDETTO</small> V<small>ARCHI</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Whether the secret of the Freemasons be comprized in the mystic word -above is more than I think proper to reveal at present. But I have -broken no vow in uttering it.</p> - -<p>And I am the better for having uttered it.</p> - -<p>Mahomet begins some of the chapters of the Koran with certain letters -of unknown signification, and the commentators say that the meaning of -these initials ought not to be enquired. So Gelaleddin says, so sayeth -Taleb. And they say truly. Some begin with A. L. M. Some with K. H. I. -A. S.: some with T. H.;—T. S. M.;—T. S. or I. S. others with K. -M.;—H. M. A. S. K.;—N. M.;—a single <i>Kaf</i>, a single <i>Nun</i> or a -single <i>Sad</i>, and <i>sad</i> work would it be either for <i>Kaffer</i> or -Mussulman to search for meaning where <i>none</i> is. Gelaleddin piously -remarks that there is only One who knoweth the import of these -letters—I reverence the name which he uses too much to employ it upon -this occasion. Mahomet himself tells us that they are the signs of the -Book which teacheth the true doctrine,—the Book of the Wise,—the -Book of Evidence, the Book of Instruction. When he speaketh thus of -the Koran he lieth like an impostor as he is: but what he has said -falsely of that false book may be applied truly to this. It is the -Book of Instruction inasmuch as every individual reader among the -thousands and tens of thousands who peruse it will find something in -it which he did not know before. It is the Book of Evidence because of -its internal truth. It is the Book of the Wise, because the wiser a -man is the more he will delight therein; yea, the delight which he -shall take in it will be the measure of his intellectual capacity. And -that it teacheth the true doctrine is plain from this circumstance, -that I defy the British Critic, the Antijacobin, the Quarterly and the -Eclectic Reviews,—aye, and the Evangelical, the Methodist, the -Baptist and the Orthodox Churchman's Magazine, with the Christian -Observer to boot, to detect any one heresy in it. Therefore I say -again</p> - -<center>Aballiboozobanganorribo,</center> - -<p>and like Mahomet I say that it is the Sign of the Book; and therefore -it is that I have said it;</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem52"> - <tr><td><small><i>Nondimen nè la lingua degli Hebrei<br> - Nè la Latina, nè la Greca antica,<br> - Nè quella forse ancor degli Aramei.</i><small><sup>1</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> M<small>OLZA</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>Happen it may,—for things not less strange have happened, and what -has been may be again;—for may be and has been are only tenses of the -same verb, and that verb is eternally being declined:——Happen I say -it may; and peradventure if it may it must; and certainly if it must -it will:—but what with indicatives and subjunctives, presents, -præterperfects and paulo-post-futura, the parenthesis is becoming too -long for the sentence, and I must begin it again. A prudent author -should never exact too much from the breath or the attention of his -reader,—to say nothing of the brains.</p> - -<p>Happen then it may that this Book may outlive Lord Castlereagh's -Peace, Mr. Pitt's reputation (we will throw Mr. Fox's into the -bargain); Mr. Locke's Metaphysics, and the Regent's Bridge in St. -James's Park. It may outlive the eloquence of Burke, the discoveries -of Davy, the poems of Wordsworth, and the victories of Wellington. It -may outlive the language in which it is written; and in heaven knows -what year of heaven knows what era, be discovered by some learned -inhabitant of that continent which the insects who make coral and -madrepore are now, and from the beginning of the world have been, -fabricating in the Pacific Ocean. It may be dug up among the ruins of -London, and considered as one of the Sacred Books of the Sacred Island -of the West,—for I cannot but hope that some reverence will always be -attached to this most glorious and most happy island when its power -and happiness and glory like those of Greece shall have passed away. -It may be decyphered and interpreted, and give occasion to a new -religion called Dovery or Danielism, which may have its Chapels, -Churches, Cathedrals, Abbeys, Priories, Monasteries, Nunneries, -Seminaries, Colleges and Universities;—its Synods, Consistories, -Convocations and Councils;—its Acolytes, Sacristans, Deacons, -Priests, Archdeacons, Rural Deans, Chancellors, Prebends, Canons, -Deans, Bishops, Archbishops, Prince Bishops, Primates, Patriarchs, -Cardinals and Popes;—its most Catholic Kings, and its Kings most -Dovish or most Danielish. It may have Commentators and -Expounders—(who can doubt that it will have them?) who will leave -unenlightened that which is dark, and darken that which is clear. -Various interpretations will be given, and be followed by as many -sects. Schisms must ensue; and the tragedies, comedies and farces, -with all the varieties of tragi-comedy and tragi-farce or -farcico-tragedy which have been represented in this old world, be -enacted in that younger one. Attack on the one side, defence on the -other; high Dovers and low Dovers; Danielites of a thousand unimagined -and unimaginable denominations; schisms, heresies, seditions, -persecutions, wars,—the dismal game of Puss-catch-corner played by a -nation instead of a family of children, and in dreadful earnest, when -power, property and life are to be won and lost!</p> - -<p>But without looking so far into the future history of Dovery, let me -exhort the learned Australian to whom the honour is reserved of -imparting this treasure to his countrymen, that he abstain from all -attempts at discovering the mysteries of Aballiboozobanganorribo! The -unapocalyptical arcana of that stupendous vocable are beyond his -reach;—so let him rest assured. Let him not plunge into the -fathomless depths of that great word, let him not attempt to soar to -its unapproachable heights. Perhaps,—and surely no man of judgement -will suppose that I utter any thing lightly,—perhaps if the object -were attainable, he might have cause to repent its attainment. If too -“little learning be a dangerous thing,” too much is more so;</p> - -<center><small><i>Il saper troppo qualche volta nuoce.</i><small><sup>2</sup></small></small></center> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>2</sup></small> M<small>OLZA</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>“Curiosity,” says Fuller, “is a kernel of the Forbidden Fruit, which -still sticketh in the throat of a natural man, sometimes to the danger -of his choaking.”</p> - -<p>There is a knowledge which is forbidden because it is dangerous. -Remember the Apple! Remember the beautiful tale of Cupid and Psyche! -Remember Cornelius Agrippa's library; the youth who opened in unhappy -hour his magical volume; and the choice moral which Southey, who -always writes so morally, hath educed from that profitable story! -Remember Bluebeard! But I am looking far into futurity. Bluebeard may -be forgotten; Southey may be forgotten; Cornelius Agrippa may be no -more remembered; Cupid and Psyche may be mere names which shall have -outlived all tales belonging to them;—Adam and Eve—Enough.</p> - -<p>Eat beans, if thou wilt, in spite of Pythagoras. Eat bacon with them, -for the Levitical law hath been abrogated: and indulge in -black-puddings, if thou likest such food, though there be Methodists -who prohibit them as sinful. But abstain from Aballiboozobanganorribo.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect32"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XVII. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>THE HAPPINESS OF HAVING A CATHOLIC TASTE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem53"> - <tr><td><small> There's no want of meat, Sir;<br> - Portly and curious viands are prepared<br> - To please all kinds of appetites.<br> - - - -M<small>ASSINGER</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>A fastidious taste is like a squeamish appetite; the one has its -origin in some disease of mind, as the other has in some ailment of -the stomach. Your true lover of literature is never fastidious. I do -not mean the <i>helluo librorum</i>, the swinish feeder, who thinks that -every name which is to be found in a title-page, or on a tomb-stone, -ought to be rescued from oblivion; nor those first cousins of the -moth, who labour under a bulimy for black-letter, and believe every -thing to be excellent which was written in the reign of Elizabeth. I -mean the man of robust and healthy intellect, who gathers the harvest -of literature into his barns, threshes the straw, winnows the grain, -grinds it at his own mill, bakes it in his own oven, and then eats the -true bread of knowledge. If he bake his loaf upon a cabbage leaf, and -eat onions with his bread and cheese, let who will find fault with him -for his taste,—not I!</p> - -<p>The Doves, father as well as son, were blest with a hearty -intellectual appetite, and a strong digestion: but the son had the -more catholic taste. He would have relished caviare; would have -ventured upon laver undeterred by its appearance—and would have liked -it.</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem54"> - <tr><td><small>What an excellent thing did God bestow on man<br> - When he did give him a good stomach!<small><sup>1</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> B<small>EAUMONT</small> and F<small>LETCHER</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>He would have eaten sausages for breakfast at Norwich, Sally Luns at -Bath, Sweet Butter in Cumberland, Orange Marmalade at Edinburgh, -Findon Haddocks at Aberdeen, and drunk punch with Beef steaks to -oblige the French if they insisted upon obliging him with a <i>dejeûner -a l'Angloise</i>.</p> - -<center><small>A good digestion turneth all to health.<small><sup>2</sup></small></small></center> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>2</sup></small> H<small>ERBERT</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>He would have eaten squab-pye in Devonshire, and the pye which is -squabber than squab in Cornwall; sheep's head with the hair on in -Scotland, and potatoes roasted on the hearth in Ireland; frogs with -the French, pickled herrings with the Dutch, sour-krout with the -Germans, maccaroni with the Italians, aniseed with the Spaniards, -garlic with any body; horse-flesh with the Tartars; ass-flesh with the -Persians; dogs with the North Western American Indians, curry with the -Asiatic East Indians, birds' nests with the Chinese, mutton roasted -with honey with the Turks, pismire cakes on the Orinoco, and turtle -and venison with the Lord Mayor; and the turtle and venison he would -have preferred to all the other dishes, because his taste, though -catholic, was not indiscriminating. He would have tried all, tasted -all, thriven upon all, and lived contentedly and cheerfully upon -either, but he would have liked best that which was best. And his -intellectual appetite had the same happy catholicism.</p> - -<p>He would not have said with Euphues, “if I be in Crete, I can lie; if -in Greece, I can shift; if in Italy, I can court it:” but he might -have said with him, “I can carouse with Alexander; abstain with -Romulus; eat with the Epicure; fast with the Stoic; sleep with -Endymion; watch with Chrysippus.”</p> - -<p>The Reader will not have forgotten I trust, (but if he should I now -remind him of it,) that in the brief inventory of Daniel's library -there appeared some odd volumes of that “book full of Pantagruelism,” -the inestimable life of the Great Gargantua. The elder Daniel could -make nothing of this book; and the younger, who was about ten years -old when he began to read it, less than he could of the Pilgrim's -Progress. But he made out something.</p> - -<p>Young Daniel was free from all the <i>isms</i> in Lily, and from rhotacism -to boot; he was clear too of schism, and all the worse <i>isms</i> which -have arisen from it: having by the blessing of Providence been bred up -not in any denomination ending in <i>ist</i> or <i>inian</i>, or <i>erian</i> or -<i>arian</i>, but as a dutiful and contented son of the church of England. -In humour however he was by nature a Pantagruelist. And indeed in his -mature years he always declared that one of the reasons which had led -him to reject the old humoral pathology was that it did not include -Pantagruelism, which he insisted depended neither upon heat or cold, -moisture or dryness, nor upon any combination of those qualities; but -was itself a peculiar and elementary humour; a truth he said, of which -he was feelingly and experimentally convinced, and lauded the Gods -therefore.</p> - -<p>Mr. Wordsworth in that Poem which Mr. Jeffrey has said <i>won't -do</i>—(Mr. Jeffrey is always lucky in his predictions whether as a -politician or a critic,—bear witness Wellington! bear witness -Wordsworth and Southey! bear witness Elia and Lord Byron!) Mr. -Wordsworth in that Poem which</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem55"> - <tr><td><small>The high and tender Muses shall accept<br> - With gracious smile deliberately pleased,<br> - And listening Time reward with sacred praise:</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>Mr. Wordsworth in that noble Poem observes,</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem56"> - <tr><td><small>Oh many are the Poets that are sown<br> - By nature!</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>Among the Emblems of Daniel Heinsius (look at his head, Reader, if -thou hast a collection of portraits to refer to, and thou wilt marvel -how so queer a conceit should have entered it, for seldom has there -been a face more gnarled and knotted with crabbed cogitation than that -of this man, who was one of the last of the Giants;)—among his -emblems, I say, is one which represents Cupid sowing a field, and -little heads springing out of the ground on all sides, some up to the -neck, others to the shoulders, and some with the arms out. If the crop -were examined I agree with Mr. Wordsworth that Poets would be found -there as thick as darnel in the corn;—and grave counsellors would not -be wanting whose advice would be that they should be weeded out.</p> - -<p>The Pantagruelists are scarcer. Greece produced three great tragic -Poets, and only one Aristophanes. The French had but one Rabelais when -the seven Pleiades shone in their poetical hemisphere. We have seen a -succession of great Tragedians from Betterton to the present time; and -in all that time there has been but one Grimaldi in whom the -Pantagruelism of Pantomime has found its perfect representative.</p> - -<p>And yet the Reader must not hastily conclude that I think -Pantagruelism a better thing than Poetry, because it is rarer; that -were imputing to me the common error of estimating things by their -rarity rather than their worth, an error more vulgar than any which -Sir Thomas Brown has refuted. But I do hold this, that all the -greatest Poets have had a spice of Pantagruelism in their composition, -which I verily believe was essential to their greatness. What the -world lost in losing the Margites of Homer we know not, we only know -that Homer had there proved himself a Pantagruelist. Shakespear was a -Pantagruelist; so was Cervantes; and till the world shall have -produced two other men in whom that humour has been wanting equal to -these, I hold my point established.</p> - -<p>Some one objects Milton. I thank him for the exception; it is just -such an exception as proves the rule; for look only at Milton's Limbo -and you will see what a glorious Pantagruelist he might have been,—if -the Puritans had not spoilt him for Pantagruelism.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect33"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XVIII. P. I.</h4> -<br> -<center><small>ALL'S WELL THAN ENDS WELL.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>Τὰ δ᾿ἄν ἐπιμνησϑῶ,--ὑπὸ τοῦ λόγου ἐξαναγκαζὀμενος ἐπιμνησϑῄσομαι.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>H<small>ERODOTUS</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>If William Dove had been installed in office with cap and bells and -bauble, he would have been a Professor of Pantagruelism, and might -have figured in Flógel's History of such Professors with Tyll -Eulenspiegel, Piovano Arlotto, and Peter the Lion; and in Douce's -Illustrations of Shakespear with Muckle John, Rees Pengelding and -Robin Rush. The humour lay latent till the boy his nephew hit the -spring by reading to him some of those chapters in Rabelais which in -their literal grotesqueness were level to the capacity of both. These -readings led to a piece of practical Pantagruelism, for which William -would have been whipt if he had worn a Fool's coat.</p> - -<p>One unlucky day, Dan was reading to him that chapter wherein young -Gargantua relates the course of experiments which he had made with a -velvet mask, a leaf of vervain, his mother's glove, a lappet worked -with gold thread, a bunch of nettles, and other things more or less -unfit for the purpose to which they were applied. To those who are -acquainted with the history of Grandgousier's royal family, I need not -explain what that purpose was; nor must I to those who are not, (for -reasons that require no explanation) farther than to say, it was the -same purpose for which that wild enigma (the semi-composition of the -Sphinx's Ghost) was designed,—that enigma of all enigmas the wildest,</p> - -<center>“On which was written Ρῆγμάρωλ.”</center> - -<p>William had frequently interrupted him with bursts of laughter; but -when they came to that crowning experiment in which Gargantua thought -he had found the <i>beau ideal</i> of what he was seeking, William clapt -his hands, and with an expression of glee in his countenance worthy of -Eulenspiegel himself exclaimed, “thou shalt try the Goose, Dan! thou -shalt try the Goose!”</p> - -<p>So with William's assistance the Goose was tried. They began with due -prudence, according to rule, by catching a Goose. In this matter a -couple of Ducks Lord Lauderdale knows would not have answered as well. -The boy then having gone through the ceremony which the devotees of -Baal are said to have performed at the foot of his Image, as the -highest act of devotion, (an act of super-reverence it was;) and for -which the Jews are said to have called him in mockery Baalzebul, -instead of Baalzebub;—cried out that he was ready. He was at that -moment in the third of those eight attitudes which form a <i>Rik'ath</i>. -My Readers who are versed in the fashionable Poets of the day (<i>this</i> -day I mean—their fashion not being insured for tomorrow)—such -Readers, I say, know that a rose is called a ghul, and a nightingale a -bulbul, and that this is one way of dressing up English Poetry in -Turkish Costume. But if they desire to learn a little more of what -Mahometan customs are, they may consult D'Ohsson's <i>Tableau</i> of the -Ottoman Empire, and there they may not only find the eight attitudes -described, but see them represented. Of the third attitude or <i>Rukeou</i> -as it is denominated, I shall only say that the Ancients represented -one of their Deities in it, and that it is the very attitude in which -<i>As in præsenti</i> committed that notorious act for which he is -celebrated in scholastic and immortal rhyme, and for which poor Syntax -bore the blame. <i>Verbum sit sat sapienti.</i> During the reign of Liberty -and Equality, a Frenchman was guillotined for exemplifying it under -Marat's Monument in the <i>Place du Carousal</i>.</p> - -<p>The bird was brought, but young Daniel had not the strength of young -Gargantua; the goose, being prevented by William from drawing back, -prest forward; they were by the side of the brook and the boy by this -violent and unexpected movement was, as the French would say in the -politest and most delicate of all languages, <i>culbuté</i>, or in sailors' -English capsized into the water. The misfortune did not end there; for -falling with his forehead against a stone, he received a cut upon the -brow which left a scar as long as he lived.</p> - -<p>It was not necessary to prohibit a repetition of what William called -the <i>speriment</i>. Both had been sufficiently frightened; and William -never felt more pain of mind than on this occasion, when the Father -with a shake of the head, a look of displeasure and a low voice told -him he ought to have known better than to have put the lad upon such -pranks!</p> - -<p>The mishap however was not without its use. For in after life when -Daniel felt an inclination to do any thing which might better be left -undone, the recollection that he had <i>tried the goose</i> served as a -salutary memento, and saved him perhaps sometimes from worse -consequences.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect34"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XIX. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>A CONVERSATION WITH MISS GRAVEAIRS.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small><i>Operi suscepto inserviendum fuit;</i> so Jacobus Mycillus pleadeth for -himself in his translation of Lucian's Dialogues, and so do I; I must -and will perform my task.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>B<small>URTON</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>“It does not signify, Miss Graveairs! you may flirt your fan, and -overcloud that white forehead with a frown; but I assure you the last -chapter could not be dispensed with. The Doctor used to relate the -story himself to his friends; and often alluded to it as the most -wholesome lesson he had ever received. My dear Miss Graveairs, let not -those intelligent eyes shoot forth in anger arrows which ought to be -reserved for other execution. You ought not to be displeased; ought -not, must not, can not, shall not!”</p> - -<p>“But you ought not to write such things, Mr. Author; really you ought -not. What can be more unpleasant than to be reading aloud, and come -unexpectedly upon something so strange that you know not whether to -proceed or make a full stop, nor where to look, nor what to do? It is -too bad of you, Sir, let me tell you! and if I come to any thing more -of the kind, I must discard the book. It is provoking enough to meet -with so much that one does not understand; but to meet with any thing -that one ought not to understand is worse. Sir, it is not to be -forgiven; and I tell you again that if I meet with any thing more of -the same kind I must discard the book.”</p> - -<p>“Nay, dear Miss Graveairs!”</p> - -<p>“I must Mr. Author; positively I must.”</p> - -<p>“Nay, dear Miss Graveairs! Banish Tristram Shandy! banish Smollett, -banish Fielding, banish Richardson! But for the Doctor,—sweet Doctor -Dove, kind Doctor Dove, true Doctor Dove, banish not him! Banish -Doctor Dove, and banish all the world!—Come, come, good sense is -getting the better of preciseness. That stitch in the forehead will -not long keep the brows in their constrained position; and the -incipient smile which already brings out that dimple, is the natural -and proper feeling.”</p> - -<p>“Well, you are a strange man!”</p> - -<p>“Call me a rare one, and I shall be satisfied. ‘O rare Ben Jonson’ you -know was epitaph enough for one of our greatest men.”</p> - -<p>“But seriously why should you put any thing in your book, which if not -actually exceptionable exposes it at least to that sort of censure, -which is most injurious?”</p> - -<p>“That question, dear Madam, is so sensibly proposed that I will answer -it with all serious sincerity. There is nothing exceptionable in these -volumes; ‘Certes,’ as Euphues Lily has said, ‘I think there be more -speeches here which for gravity will mislike the foolish, than -unseemly terms which for vanity, may offend the wise.’ There is -nothing in them that I might not have read to Queen Elizabeth if it -had been my fortune to have lived in her golden days; nothing that can -by possibility taint the imagination, or strengthen one evil -propensity, or weaken one virtuous principle. But they are not -composed like a forgotten novel of Dr. Towers's to be read aloud in -dissenting families instead of a moral essay, or a sermon; nor like -Mr. Kett's Emily to complete the education of young ladies by -supplying them with an abstract of universal knowledge. Neither have -they any pretensions to be placed on the same shelf with Cœlebs. But -the book is a moral book; its tendency is good, and the morality is -both the wholesomer and pleasanter because it is not administered as -physic, but given as food. I don't like morality in doses.”</p> - -<p>“But why, my good Mr. Author, why lay yourself open to censure?”</p> - -<p>“Miss Graveairs, nothing excellent was ever produced by any author who -had the fear of censure before his eyes. He who would please posterity -must please himself by chusing his own course. There are only two -classes of writers who dare do this, the best and the worst,—for this -is one of the many cases in which extremes meet. The mediocres in -every grade aim at pleasing the public, and conform themselves to the -fashion of their age whatever it may be.”</p> - -<p>My Doctor, like the Matthew Henderson of Burns, was a queer man, and -in that respect I his friend and biographer, humbly resemble him. The -resemblance may be natural, or I may have caught it,—this I pretend -not to decide, but so it is. Perhaps it might have been well if I had -resolved upon a farther designation of Chapters, and distributed them -into Masculine and Feminine; or into the threefold arrangement of -virile, feminile and puerile; considering the book as a family -breakfast, where there should be meat for men, muffins for women, and -milk for children. Or I might have adopted the device of the -Porteusian Society, and marked my Chapters as they (very usefully) -have done the Bible, pointing out what should be read by all persons -for edification, and what may be passed over by the many, as -instructive or intelligible only to the learned.</p> - -<p>Here however the book is,—</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem57"> - <tr><td><small> An orchard bearing several trees,<br> - And fruits of several taste.<small><sup>1</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>Ladies and Gentlemen, my gentle Readers, one of our liveliest and most -popular old Dramatists knew so well the capricious humour of an -audience that he made his Prologue say</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem58"> - <tr><td><small>He'd rather dress upon a Triumph-Day<br> - My Lord Mayor's Feast, and make them sauces too,<br> - Sauce for each several Mouth; nay further go,<br> - He'd rather build up those invincible Pies<br> - And Castle-Custards that affright all eyes,—<br> - Nay, eat them all and their artillery,—<br> - Than dress for such a curious company,<br> - One single dish.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>But I, gentle Readers, have set before you a table liberally spread. -It is not expected or desired that every dish should suit the palate -of all the guests, but every guest will find something that he likes. -You, Madam, may prefer those boiled chicken, with stewed celery,—or a -little of that fricandeau;—the Lady opposite will send her plate for -some pigeon pye. The Doctor has an eye upon the venison—and so I see -has the Captain.—Sir, I have not forgotten that this is one of your -fast days—I am glad therefore that the turbot proves so good,—and -that dish has been prepared for you. Sir John, there is garlic in the -fricassee. The Hungarian wine has a bitterness which every body may -not like; the Ladies will probably prefer Malmsey. The Captain sticks -to his Port, and the Doctor to his Madeira.—Sir John I shall be happy -to take Sauterne with you.—There is a splendid trifle for the young -folks, which some of the elders also will not despise:—and I only -wish my garden could have furnished a better dessert; but considering -our climate, it is not amiss.—Is not this entertainment better than -if I had set you all down to a round of beef and turnips?</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem59"> - <tr><td><small>If any thing be set to a wrong taste<br> - 'Tis not the meat there, but the mouth's displaced;<br> - Remove but that sick palate all is well.<small><sup>2</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> M<small>IDDLETON</small> and R<small>OWLEY'S</small> Spanish Gipsey.</small></blockquote> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>2</sup></small> B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>Like such a dinner I would have my book,—something for every body's -taste and all good of its kind.</p> - -<p>It ought also to resemble the personage of whom it treats; and</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem60"> - <tr><td><small>If ony whiggish whingin sot<br> - To blame the Doctor dare, man;<br> - May dool and sorrow be his lot<br> - For the Doctor was a rare man!<small><sup>3</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>3</sup></small> B<small>URNS</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>Some whiggish sots I dare say will blame him, and whiggish sots they -will be who do!</p> - -<p>“<i>En un mot; mes amis, je n'ai entrepris de vous contenter tous en -general, ainsi uns et autres en particulier; et par special, -moymême.</i>”<small><small><sup>4</sup></small></small></p> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>4</sup></small> P<small>ASQUIER</small>.</small></blockquote> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect35"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XX. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>HOW TO MAKE GOLD.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem61"> - <tr><td><small><i>L' Alchimista non travaglia a voto;<br> - Ei cerca l' oro, ei cerca l' oro, io dico<br> - Ch' ei cerca l' oro; e s' ei giungesse in porto<br> - Fora ben per se stesso e per altrui.<br> - L' oro e somma posanza infra mortali;<br> - Chiedine a Cavalier, chiedine a Dame,<br> - Chiedine a tutto il Mondo.</i><br> - - - -C<small>HIABRERA</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>William had heard so much about experiments that it is not surprising -he should have been for making some himself. It was well indeed for -his family that the speculative mind, which lay covered rather than -concealed under the elder Daniel's ruminating manners, and quiet -contented course of life, was not quickened by his acquaintance with -the schoolmaster into an experimental and dangerous activity, instead -of being satisfied with theoretical dreams. For Guy had found a book -in that little collection which might have produced more serious -consequences to the father than the imitation of Gargantua had done to -the son.</p> - -<p>This book was the Exposition of Eirenæus Philalethes upon Sir George -Ripley's Hermetico-Poetical works. Daniel had formerly set as little -value upon it as upon Rabelais. He knew indeed what its purport was, -thus much he had gathered from it: but although it professed to -contain “the plainest and most excellent discoveries of the most -hidden secrets of the Ancient Philosophers that were ever yet -published,” it was to him as unintelligible as the mysteries of -Pantagruelism. He could make nothing of the work that was to ascend in -<i>Bus</i> and <i>Nubi</i> from the Moon up to the Sun, though the Expositor had -expounded that this was in <i>Nubibus;</i> nor of the Lake which was to be -boiled with the ashes of Hermes's Tree, night and day without ceasing, -till the Heavenly Nature should ascend and the Earthly descend: nor of -the Crow's bill, the White Dove, the Sparkling Cherubim, and the Soul -of the Green Lion. But he took those cautions simply and honestly as -cautions, which were in fact the lures whereby so many infatuated -persons had been drawn on to their own undoing. The author had said -that his work was not written for the information of the illiterate, -and illiterate Daniel knew himself to be. “Our writings,” says the -dark Expositor, “shall prove as a curious edged knife; to some they -shall carve out dainties, and to others it shall serve only to cut -their fingers. Yet we are not to be blamed; for we do seriously -profess to any that shall attempt the work, that he attempts the -highest piece of Philosophy that is in Nature; and though we write in -English, yet our matter will be as hard as Greek to some, who will -think they understand us well, when they misconstrue our meaning most -perversely; for is it imaginable that they who are fools in Nature -should be wise in our Books, which are testimonies unto Nature?” And -again, “make sure of thy true matter, which is no small thing to know; -and though we have named it yet we have done it so cunningly, that -thou mayest sooner stumble at our Books than at any thou ever didst -read in thy life.—Be not deceived either with receipt or discourse; -for we verily do not intend to deceive you; but if you will be -deceived, be deceived!—Our way which is an easy way, and in which no -man may err,—our broad way, our <i>linear</i> way, we have vowed never to -reveal it but in metaphor. I, being moved with pity, will hint it to -you. Take that which is not yet perfect, nor yet wholly imperfect, but -in a way to perfection, and out of it make what is most noble and most -perfect. This you may conceive to be an easier receipt than to take -that which is already perfect and extract out of it what is imperfect -and make it perfect, and after out of that perfection to draw a -<i>plusquam</i> perfection; and yet this is true, and we have wrought it. -But this last discovery which I hinted in few words is it which no man -ever did so plainly lay open; nor may any make it more plain upon pain -of an anathema.”</p> - -<p>All this was heathen Greek to Daniel, except the admonition which it -contained. But Guy had meddled with this perilous pseudo-science, and -used to talk with him concerning its theory, which Daniel soon -comprehended, and which like many other theories wanted nothing but a -foundation to rest upon. That every thing had its own seed as well as -its own form seemed a reasonable position; and that the fermental -virtue, “which is the wonder of the world, and by which water becomes -herbs, trees and plants, fruits, flesh, blood, stones, minerals and -every thing, works only in kind. Was it not then absurd to allow that -the fermentive and multiplicative power existed in almost all other -things, and yet deny it to Gold, the most perfect of all sublunary -things?”—The secret lay in extracting from Gold its hidden seed.</p> - -<p>Ben Jonson has with his wonted ability presented the theory of this -delusive art. His knavish Alchemist asks of an unbeliever</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="dialogue"> - <tr><td><small> Why, what have you observed Sir, in our art<br> - Seems so impossible?<br> - - <i>Surly</i>. But your whole work, no more!<br> - That you should hatch gold in a furnace, Sir,<br> - As they do eggs in Egypt.<br> - - <i>Subtle</i>. Sir, do you<br> - Believe that eggs are hatch'd so?<br> - - <i>Surly</i>. If I should?<br> -<i>Subtle</i>. Why I think that the greater miracle.<br> - No egg but differs from a chicken more<br> - Than metals in themselves.<br> - - <i>Surly</i>. That cannot be.<br> - The egg's ordained by nature to that end,<br> - And is a chicken <i>in potentiâ</i>.<br> -<i>Subtle</i>. The same we say of lead and other metals,<br> - Which would be gold if they had time.<br> - - - <i>Mammon</i>. And that<br> - Our art doth further.<br> - - <i>Subtle</i>. Aye, for 'twere absurd<br> - To think that nature in the earth bred gold<br> - Perfect in the instant: something went before.<br> - There must be remote matter.<br> - - - <i>Surly</i>. Ay, what is that?<br> -<i>Subtle</i>. Marry we say—<br> - - <i>Mammon</i>. Ay, now it heats; stand father;<br> - Pound him to dust.<br> - - <i>Subtle</i>. It is, of the one part,<br> - A humid exhalation, which we call<br> - <i>Materia liquida</i>, or the unctuous water;<br> - On the other part a certain crass and viscous<br> - Portion of earth; both which concorporate<br> - Do make the elementary matter of gold;<br> - Which is not yet <i>propria materia</i>,<br> - But common to all metals and all stones;<br> - For where it is forsaken of that moisture,<br> - And hath more dryness, it becomes a stone;<br> - Where it retains more of the humid fatness,<br> - It turns to sulphur, or to quicksilver,<br> - Who are the parents of all other metals.<br> - Nor can this remote matter suddenly<br> - Progress so from extreme unto extreme,<br> - As to grow gold, and leap o'er all the means.<br> - Nature doth first beget the imperfect, then<br> - Proceeds she to the perfect. Of that airy<br> - And oily water, mercury is engendered;<br> - Sulphur of the fat and earthy part; the one,<br> - Which is the last, supplying the place of male,<br> - The other of the female in all metals.<br> - Some so believe hermaphrodeity,<br> - That both do act and suffer. But these too<br> - Make the rest ductile, malleable, extensive.<br> - And even in gold they are; for we do find<br> - Seeds of them, by our fire, and gold in them;<br> - And can produce the species of each metal<br> - More perfect thence than nature doth in earth.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>I have no cause to say here with Sheik Mohammed Ali Hazin that “taste -for poetical and elegant composition has turned the reins of my -ink-dropping pen away from the road which lay before it:” For this -passage of learned Ben lay directly in the way; and no where, Reader, -couldst thou find the theory of the Alchemists more ably epitomized.</p> - -<p>“Father,” said the boy Daniel one day, after listening to a -conversation upon this subject, “I should like to learn to make gold.”</p> - -<p>“And what wouldst thou do, Daniel, if thou couldst make it?” was the -reply.</p> - -<p>“Why I would build a great house, and fill it with books; and have as -much money as the King, and be as great a man as the Squire.”</p> - -<p>“Mayhap, Daniel, in that case thou wouldst care for books as little as -the Squire, and have as little time for them as the King. Learning is -better than house or land. As for money, enough is enough; no man can -enjoy more; and the less he can be contented with the wiser and better -he is likely to be. What, Daniel, does our good poet tell us in the -great verse-book?</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem62"> - <tr><td><small>Nature's with little pleased; enough's a feast:<br> - A sober life but a small charge requires:<br> - But man, the author of his own unrest,<br> - The more he hath, the more he still desires.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>No, boy, thou canst never be as rich as the King, nor as great as the -Squire; but thou mayest be a Philosopher, and that is being as happy -as either.”</p> - -<p>“A great deal happier,” said Guy. “The Squire is as far from being the -happiest man in the neighbourhood, as he is from being the wisest or -the best. And the King, God bless him! has care enough upon his head -to bring on early grey hairs.</p> - -<center><small>Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.”</small></center> - -<p>“But what does a Philosopher do?” rejoined the boy. “The Squire hunts -and shoots and smokes, and drinks punch and goes to Justice-Meetings. -And the King goes to fight for us against the French, and governs the -Parliament, and makes laws. But I cannot tell what a Philosopher's -business is. Do they do any thing else besides making Almanacks and -gold?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” said William, “they read the stars.”</p> - -<p>“And what do they read there?”</p> - -<p>“What neither thou nor I can understand, Daniel,” replied the father, -“however nearly it may concern us!”</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect36"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXI. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>A DOUBT CONCERNING THE USES OF PHILOSOPHY.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem63"> - <tr><td><small><i>El comienzo de salud<br> - es el saber,<br> - distinguir y conocer<br> - qual es virtud.</i><br> - -P<small>ROVERBIOS DEL</small> M<small>ARQUES DE</small> S<small>ANTILLANA</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>That grave reply produced a short pause. It was broken by the boy, who -said returning to the subject, “I have been thinking, Father, that it -is not a good thing to be a Philosopher.”</p> - -<p>“And what, my Son, has led thee to that thought?”</p> - -<p>“What I have read at the end of the Dictionary, Father. There was one -Philosopher that was pounded in a mortar.”</p> - -<p>“That Daniel,” said the Father, “could neither have been the -Philosopher's fault nor his choice.”</p> - -<p>“But it was because he was a Philosopher, my lad,” said Guy, “that he -bore it so bravely, and said, beat on, you can only bruise the shell -of Anaxarchus! If he had not been a Philosopher they might have -pounded him just the same, but they would never have put him in the -Dictionary. Epictetus in like manner bore the torments which his -wicked master inflicted upon him, without a groan, only saying, ‘take -care, or you will break my leg;’ and when the leg was broken, he -looked the wretch in the face and said, ‘I told you you would break -it.’”</p> - -<p>“But,” said the youngster, “there was one Philosopher who chose to -live in a tub; and another who that he might never again see any thing -to withdraw his mind from meditation, put out his eyes by looking upon -a bright brass basin, such as I cured my warts in.”</p> - -<p>“He might have been a wise man,” said William Dove, “but not wondrous -wise: for if he had, he would not have used the basin to put his eyes -out. He would have jumped into a quickset hedge, and scratched them -out, like the Man of our Town; because when he saw his eyes were out, -he might then have jumped into another hedge and scratched them in -again. The Man of our Town was the greatest philosopher of the two.”</p> - -<p>“And there was one,” continued the boy, “who had better have blinded -himself at once, for he did nothing else but cry at every thing he -saw. Was not this being very foolish?”</p> - -<p>“I am sure,” says William, “it was not being merry and wise.”</p> - -<p>“There was another who said that hunger was his daily food.”</p> - -<p>“He must have kept such a table as Duke Humphrey,” quoth William; “I -should not have liked to dine with him.”</p> - -<p>“Then there was Crates,” said the persevering boy; “he had a good -estate and sold it and threw the money into the sea, saying, ‘away ye -paltry cares! I will drown you, that you may not drown me.’”</p> - -<p>“I should like to know,” quoth William, “what the overseers said to -that chap, when he applied to the parish for support.”</p> - -<p>“They sent him off to Bedlam, I suppose,” said the Mother, “it was the -fit place for him, poor creature.”</p> - -<p>“And when Aristippus set out upon a journey he bade his servants throw -away all their money, that they might travel the better. Why they must -have begged their way, and it cannot be right to beg if people are not -brought to it by misfortune. And there were some who thought there was -no God. I am sure they were fools, for the Bible says so.”</p> - -<p>“Well Daniel,” said Guy, “thou hast studied the end of the Dictionary -to some purpose!”</p> - -<p>“And the Bible too, Master Guy!” said Dinah,—her countenance -brightening with joy at her son's concluding remark.</p> - -<p>“It's the best part of the book,” said the boy, replying to his -schoolmaster; “there are more entertaining and surprizing things there -than I ever read in any other place, except in my Father's book about -Pantagruel.”</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect37"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXII. P. I.</h4> - -<center>Τὸν δ᾿ ἀπαμειβόμενος.</center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem64"> - <tr><td><small><i>O felice colui, che intender puote<br> - Le cagion de le cose di natura,<br> - Che al piu di que' che vivon sono ignote;<br> - E sotto il piè si mette ogni paura<br> - De fati, e de la morte, ch'è si trista,<br> - Ne di vulgo gli cal, nè d'altro ha cura.</i><br> - - - - -T<small>ANSILLO</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>The elder Daniel had listened to this dialogue in his usual quiet way, -smiling sometimes at his brother William's observations. He now -stroked his forehead, and looking mildly but seriously at the boy -addressed him thus.</p> - -<p>“My son, many things appear strange or silly in themselves if they are -presented to us simply, without any notice when and where they were -done, and upon what occasion. If any strangers for example had seen -thee washing thy hands in an empty basin, without knowing the -philosophy of the matter, they would have taken thee for an innocent, -and thy master and me for little better; or they might have supposed -some conjuring was going on. The things which the old Philosophers -said and did, would appear, I dare say, as wise to us as they did to -the people of their own times, if we knew why and in what -circumstances they were done and said.</p> - -<p>“Daniel, there are two sorts of men in all ranks and ways of life, the -wise and the foolish; and there are a great many degrees between them. -That some foolish people have called themselves Philosophers, and some -wicked ones, and some who were out of their wits, is just as certain -as that persons of all these descriptions are to be found among all -conditions of men.</p> - -<p>“Philosophy, Daniel, is of two kinds: that which relates to conduct, -and that which relates to knowledge. The first teaches us to value all -things at their real worth, to be contented with little, modest in -prosperity, patient in trouble, equal-minded at all times. It teaches -us our duty to our neighbour and ourselves. It is that wisdom of which -King Solomon speaks in our rhyme-book. Reach me the volume!” Then -turning to the passage in his favourite Du Bartas he read these lines:</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem65"> - <tr><td><small>“She's God's own mirror; she's a light whose glance<br> - Springs from the lightening of his countenance.<br> - She's mildest heaven's most sacred influence;<br> - Never decays her beauties' excellence,<br> - Aye like herself; and she doth always trace<br> - Not only the same path but the same pace.<br> - Without her honor, health and wealth would prove<br> - Three poisons to me. Wisdom from above<br> - Is the only moderatrix, spring and guide<br> - Organ and honor of all gifts beside.”</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>“But let us look in the Bible:—aye this is the place.</p> - -<p>“For in her is an understanding spirit, holy, one only, manifold, -subtil, lively, clear, undefiled, plain, not subject to hurt, loving -the thing that is good, quick, which cannot be letted, ready to do -good;</p> - -<p>“Kind to man, steadfast, sure, free from care, having all power, -overseeing all things, and going through all understanding, pure and -most subtil spirits.</p> - -<p>“For wisdom is more moving than any motion: she passeth and goeth -through all things by reason of her pureness.</p> - -<p>“For she is the breath of the power of God, and a pure influence, -flowing from the glory of the Almighty; therefore can no defiled thing -fall into her.</p> - -<p>“For she is the brightness of the everlasting light, the unspotted -mirror of the power of God, and the image of his goodness.</p> - -<p>“And being but one she can do all things; and remaining in herself she -maketh all things new: and in all ages entering into holy souls she -maketh them friends of God, and prophets.</p> - -<p>“For God loveth none but him that dwelleth with wisdom.</p> - -<p>“For she is more beautiful than the Sun, and above all the order of -Stars: being compared with the light she is found before it.</p> - -<p>“For after this cometh night: but vice shall not prevail against -wisdom.”</p> - -<p>He read this with a solemnity that gave weight to every word. Then -closing the book, after a short pause, he proceeded in a lower tone.</p> - -<p>“The Philosophers of whom you have read in the Dictionary possessed -this wisdom only in part, because they were heathens, and therefore -could see no farther than the light of mere reason sufficed to shew -the way. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and they had -not that to begin with. So the thoughts which ought to have made them -humble produced pride, and so far their wisdom proved but folly. The -humblest Christian who learns his duty, and performs it as well as he -can, is wiser than they. He does nothing to be seen of men; and that -was their motive for most of their actions.</p> - -<p>“Now for the philosophy which relates to knowledge. Knowledge is a -brave thing. I am a plain, ignorant, untaught man, and know my -ignorance. But it is a brave thing when we look around us in this -wonderful world to understand something of what we see: to know -something of the earth on which we move, the air which we breathe, and -the elements whereof we are made: to comprehend the motions of the -moon and stars, and measure the distances between them, and compute -times and seasons: to observe the laws which sustain the universe by -keeping all things in their courses: to search into the mysteries of -nature, and discover the hidden virtue of plants and stones, and read -the signs and tokens which are shown us, and make out the meaning of -hidden things, and apply all this to the benefit of our fellow -creatures.</p> - -<p>“Wisdom and knowledge, Daniel, make the difference between man and -man, and that between man and beast is hardly greater.</p> - -<p>“These things do not always go together. There may be wisdom without -knowledge, and there may be knowledge without wisdom. A man without -knowledge, if he walk humbly with his God, and live in charity with -his neighbours, may be wise unto salvation. A man without wisdom may -not find his knowledge avail him quite so well. But it is he who -possesses both that is the true Philosopher. The more he knows, the -more he is desirous of knowing; and yet the farther he advances in -knowledge the better he understands how little he can attain, and the -more deeply he feels that God alone can satisfy the infinite desires -of an immortal soul. To understand this is the height and perfection -of philosophy.”</p> - -<p>Then opening the Bible which lay before him, he read these verses from -the Proverbs.</p> - -<p>“My son, if thou wilt receive my words,—</p> - -<p>“So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom and apply thine heart to -understanding;</p> - -<p>“Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for -understanding;</p> - -<p>“If thou seekest after her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid -treasures;</p> - -<p>“Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord and find the -knowledge of God.</p> - -<p>“For the Lord giveth wisdom; out of His mouth cometh knowledge and -understanding.</p> - -<p>“He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous; He is a buckler to them -that walk uprightly.</p> - -<p>“He keepeth the paths of judgement and preserveth the way of his -Saints.</p> - -<p>“Then shalt thou understand righteousness and judgement and equity; -yea, every good path.</p> - -<p>“When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto -thy soul;</p> - -<p>“Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee,</p> - -<p>“To deliver thee from the way of the evil.</p> - -<p>“Daniel, my son,” after a pause he pursued, “thou art a diligent good -lad. God hath given thee a tender and a dutiful heart; keep it so, and -it will be a wise one, for thou hast the beginning of wisdom. I wish -thee to pursue knowledge, because in pursuing it happiness will be -found by the way. If I have said any thing now which is above thy -years, it will come to mind in after time, when I am gone perhaps, but -when thou mayest profit by it. God bless thee, my child!”</p> - -<p>He stretched out his right hand at these words, and laid it gently -upon the boy's head. What he said was not forgotten, and throughout -life the son never thought of that blessing without feeling that it -had taken effect.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect38"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXIII. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>ROWLAND DIXON AND HIS COMPANY OF PUPPETS.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem66"> - <tr><td><small><i>Alli se ve tan eficaz el llanto,<br> - las fabulas y historias retratadas,<br> - que parece verdad, y es dulce encanto.</i><br> -<br> - * - * - * - * - *<br> -<br> - <i>Y para el vulgo rudo, que ignorante<br> - aborrece el manjar costoso, guisa<br> - el plato del gracioso extravagante;<br> -<br> - Con que les hartas de contento y risa,<br> - gustando de mirar sayal grossero,<br> - mas que sutil y candida camisa.</i><br> - - -J<small>OSEPH</small> O<small>RTIZ DE</small> V<small>ILLENA</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Were it not for that happy facility with which the mind in such cases -commonly satisfies itself, my readers would find it not more easy to -place themselves in imagination at Ingleton a hundred years ago, than -at Thebes or Athens, so strange must it appear to them that a family -should have existed in humble but easy circumstances, among whose -articles of consumption neither tea nor sugar had a place, who never -raised potatoes in their garden nor saw them at their table, and who -never wore a cotton garment of any kind.</p> - -<p>Equally unlike any thing to which my contemporaries have been -accustomed, must it be for them to hear of an Englishman whose talk -was of philosophy moral or speculative not of politics; who read books -in folio and had never seen a newspaper; nor ever heard of a magazine, -review, or literary journal of any kind. Not less strange must it seem -to them who if they please may travel by steam at the rate of thirty -miles an hour upon the Liverpool and Manchester rail-way, or at ten -miles an hour by stage upon any of the more frequented roads, to -consider the little intercourse which in those days was carried on -between one part of the kingdom and another. During young Daniel's -boyhood, and for many years after he had reached the age of manhood, -the whole carriage of the northern counties, and indeed of all the -remoter parts was performed by pack-horses, the very name of which -would long since have been as obsolete as their use, if it had not -been preserved by the sign or appellation of some of those inns at -which they were accustomed to put up. Rarely indeed were the roads -about Ingleton marked by any other wheels than those of its indigenous -carts.</p> - -<p>That little town however obtained considerable celebrity in those days -as being the home and head quarters of Rowland Dixon, the Gesticulator -Maximus, or Puppet-show-master-general, of the North; a person not -less eminent in his line than Powel whom the Spectator has -immortalized.</p> - -<p>My readers must not form their notion of Rowland Dixon's company from -the ambulatory puppet shows which of late years have added new sights -and sounds to the spectacles and cries of London. Far be it from me to -depreciate those peripatetic street exhibitions, which you may have -before your window at a call, and by which the hearts of so many -children are continually delighted: Nay I confess that few things in -that great city carry so much comfort to the cockles of my own, as the -well-known voice of Punch.</p> - -<center><small>——the same which in my school-boy days<br> - I listened to,——</small></center> - -<p>as Wordsworth says of the Cuckoo,</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem67"> - <tr><td><small>And I can listen to it yet—<br> - And listen till I do beget<br> - That golden time again.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>It is a voice that seems to be as much in accord with the noise of -towns, and the riotry of fairs, as the note of the Cuckoo, with the -joyousness of spring fields and the fresh verdure of the vernal woods.</p> - -<p>But Rowland Dixon's company of puppets would be pitifully disparaged, -if their size, uses or importance were to be estimated by the street -performances of the present day.</p> - -<p>The Dramatis Personæ of these modern exhibitions never I believe -comprehends more than four characters, and these four are generally -the same, to wit, Punch, Judy as she who used to be called Joan is now -denominated, the Devil and the Doctor, or sometimes the Constable in -the Doctor's stead. There is therefore as little variety in the action -as in the personages. And their dimensions are such that the whole -company and the theatre in which they are exhibited are carried along -the streets at quick time and with a light step by the two persons who -manage the concern.</p> - -<p>But the Rowlandian, Dixonian, or Ingletonian puppets were large as -life; and required for their removal a caravan (in the use to which -that word is now appropriated),—a vehicle of such magnitude and -questionable shape, that if Don Quixote had encountered its like upon -the highway, he would have regarded it as the most formidable -adventure which had ever been presented to his valour. And they went -as far beyond our street-puppets in the sphere of their subjects as -they exceeded them in size; for in that sphere <i>quicquid agunt -homines</i> was included,—and a great deal more.</p> - -<p>In no country and in no stage of society has the drama ever existed in -a ruder state than that in which this company presented it. The Drolls -of Bartholomew Fair were hardly so far below the legitimate drama, as -they were above that of Rowland Dixon; for the Drolls were written -compositions: much ribaldry might be, and no doubt was, interpolated -as opportunity allowed or invited; but the main dialogue was prepared. -Here on the contrary, there was no other preparation than that of -frequent practice. The stock pieces were founded upon popular stories -or ballads, such as Fair Rosamond, Jane Shore, and Bateman who hanged -himself for love; with scriptural subjects for Easter and -Whitsun-week, such as the Creation, the Deluge, Susannah and the -Elders, and Nebuchadnezzar or the Fall of Pride. These had been handed -down from the time of the old mysteries and miracle-plays, having, in -the progress of time and change, descended from the monks and clergy -to become the property of such managers as Powel and Rowland Dixon. In -what manner they were represented when thus</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem68"> - <tr><td><small>Fallen, fallen, fallen, fallen,<br> - Fallen from their high estate,</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>may be imagined from a play-bill of Queen Anne's reign, in which one -of them is thus advertised:</p> - -<blockquote>“At Crawley's Booth, over against the Crown Tavern in Smithfield, -during the time of Bartholomew Fair, will be presented a little Opera, -called the Old Creation of the World, yet newly revived; with the -addition of Noah's flood. Also several fountains playing water during -the time of the play. The last scene does present Noah and his family -coming out of the Ark, with all the beasts two and two, and all the -fowls of the air seen in a prospect sitting upon trees. Likewise over -the Ark is seen the Sun rising in a most glorious manner. Moreover a -multitude of Angels will be seen in a double rank, which presents a -double prospect, one for the Sun, the other for a palace, where will -be seen six Angels, ringing of bells. Likewise machines descend from -above double and treble, with Dives rising out of Hell, and Lazarus -seen in Abraham's bosom; besides several figures dancing jigs, -sarabands and country dances, to the admiration of the spectators; -with the merry conceits of Squire Punch, and Sir John Spendall.”</blockquote> - -<p>I have not found it any where stated at what time these irreverent -representations were discontinued in England, nor whether (which is -not unlikely) they were put an end to by the interference of the -magistrates. The <i>Autos Sacramentales</i>, which form the most -characteristic department of the Spanish drama, were prohibited at -Madrid in 1763, at the instance of the Conde de Teba, then Archbishop -of Toledo, chiefly because of the profaneness of the actors, and the -indecency of the places in which they were represented: it seems -therefore that if they had been performed by clerks, and within -consecrated precincts, he would not have objected to them. The -religious dramas, though they are not less extraordinary and far more -reprehensible, because in many instances nothing can be more -pernicious than their direct tendency, were not included in the same -prohibition; the same marks of external reverence not being required -for Saints and Images as for the great object of Romish Idolatry. -These probably will long continue to delight the Spanish people. But -facts of the same kind may be met with nearer home. So recently as the -year 1816, the Sacrifice of Isaac was represented on the stage at -Paris: Samson was the subject of the ballet; the unshorn son of Manoah -delighted the spectators by dancing a solo with the gates of Gaza on -his back; Dalilah clipt him during the intervals of a jig; and the -Philistines surrounded and captured him in a country dance!</p> - -<p>That Punch made his appearance in the puppet-show of the Deluge, most -persons know; his exclamation of “hazy weather, master Noah,” having -been preserved by tradition. In all of these wooden dramas whether -sacred or profane, Punch indeed bore a part, and that part is well -described in the verses entitled <i>Pupæ gesticulantes</i>, which may be -found among the <i>Selecta Poemata Anglorum Latina</i>, edited by Mr. -Popham.</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem69"> - <tr><td><small><i>Ecce tamen subitò, et medio discrimine rerum,<br> - Ridiculus vultu procedit Homuncio, tergum<br> - Cui riget in gibbum, immensusque protruditur alvus:</i><br> - P<small>UNCHIUS</small> <i>huic nomen, nec erat petulantior unquam<br> - Ullus; quinetiam media inter seria semper<br> - Importunus adest, lepidusque et garrulus usque<br> - Perstat, permiscetque jocos, atque omnia turbat.<br> - Sæpe puellarum densa ad subsellia sese<br> - Convertens,—sedet en! pulchras mea, dixit, amica<br> - Illic inter eas! Oculo simul improbus uno<br> - Connivens, aliquam illarum quasi noverat, ipsam<br> - Quæque pudens se signari pudefacta rubescit;<br> - Totaque subridet juvenumque virumque corona.<br> - Cum vero ambiguis obscœnas turpia dictis<br> - Innuit, effuso testantur gaudia risu.</i></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>In one particular only this description is unlike the Punch of the -Ingleton Company. He was not an <i>homuncio</i>, but a full grown -personage, who had succeeded with little alteration either of -attributes or appearance to the Vice of the old Mysteries, and served -like the Clown of our own early stage, and the <i>Gracioso</i> of the -Spaniards, to scatter mirth over the serious part of the performance, -or turn it into ridicule. The wife was an appendage of later times, -when it was not thought good for Punch to be alone; and when as these -performances had fallen into lower hands, the quarrels between such a -pair afforded a standing subject equally adapted to the capacity of -the interlocutor and of his audience.</p> - -<p>A tragic part was assigned to Punch in one of Rowland Dixon's pieces, -and that one of the most popular, being the celebrated tragedy of Jane -Shore. The Beadle in this piece, after proclaiming in obvious and -opprobrious rhyme the offence which had drawn upon Mistress Shore this -public punishment, prohibited all persons from relieving her on pain -of death, and turned her out, according to the common story, to die of -hunger in the streets. The only person who ventured to disobey this -prohibition was Punch the Baker; and the reader may judge of the -dialogue of these pieces by this Baker's words, when he stole behind -her, and nudging her furtively while he spake, offered her a loaf, -saying, “<i>tak it Jenny, tak it!</i>” for which act so little consonant -with his general character, Punch died a martyr to humanity by the -hangman's hands.</p> - -<p>Dr. Dove used to say he doubted whether Garrick and Mrs. Cibber could -have affected him more in middle life, than he had been moved by Punch -the Baker and this wooden Jane Shore in his boyhood. For rude as were -these performances, (and nothing could possibly be ruder,) the effect -on infant minds was prodigious, from the accompanying sense of wonder, -an emotion which of all others is at that time of life the most -delightful. Here was miracle in any quantity to be seen for two-pence, -and be believed in for nothing. No matter how confined the theatre, -how coarse and inartificial the scenery, or how miserable the -properties; the mind supplied all that was wanting.</p> - -<p>“Mr. Guy,” said young Daniel to the schoolmaster, after one of these -performances, “I wish Rowland Dixon could perform one of our Latin -dialogues!”</p> - -<p>“Aye Daniel,” replied the schoolmaster, entering into the boy's -feelings; “it would be a grand thing to have the Three Fatal Sisters -introduced, and to have them send for Death; and then for Death to -summon the Pope and jugulate him; and invite the Emperor and the King -to dance; and disarm the soldier, and pass sentence upon the Judge; -and stop the Lawyer's tongue; and feel the Physician's pulse; and make -the Cook come to be killed; and send the Poet to the shades; and give -the Drunkard his last draught. And then to have Rhadamanthus come in -and try them all! Methinks Daniel that would beat Jane Shore and Fair -Rosamond all to nothing, and would be as good as a sermon to boot.”</p> - -<p>“I believe it would indeed!” said the Boy: “and then to see M<small>ORS</small> and -N<small>ATURA</small>; and have D<small>AMNATUS</small> called up; and the Three Cacodæmons at -supper upon the sirloin of a King, and the roasted Doctor of Divinity, -and the cruel Schoolmaster's rump! Would not it be nice Mr. Guy?”</p> - -<p>“The pity is, Daniel,” replied Guy, “that Rowland Dixon is no Latiner, -any more than those who go to see his performances.”</p> - -<p>“But could not you put it into English for him, Mr. Guy?”</p> - -<p>“I am afraid Daniel, Rowland Dixon would not thank me for my pains. -Besides I could never make it sound half so noble in English as in -those grand Latin verses, which fill the mouth and the ears, and the -mind,—aye and the heart and soul too. No, boy! schools are the proper -places for representing such pieces, and if I had but Latiners enough -we would have them ourselves. But there are not many houses, my good -Daniel, in which learning is held in such esteem as it is at thy -father's; if there were, I should have more Latin scholars;—and what -is of far more consequence, the world would be wiser and better than -it is!”</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect39"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXIV. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>QUACK AND NO QUACK, BEING AN ACCOUNT OF DR. GREEN AND HIS MAN KEMP. -POPULAR MEDICINE, HERBARY, THEORY OF SIGNATURES, WILLIAM DOVE, JOHN -WESLEY, AND BAXTER.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem70"> - <tr><td><small>Hold thy hand! health's dear maintainer;<br> - Life perchance may burn the stronger:<br> - Having substance to maintain her<br> - She untouched may last the longer.<br> - When the Artist goes about<br> - To redress her flame, I doubt<br> - Oftentimes he snuffs it out.<br> - - - - -Q<small>UARLES</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>It was not often that Rowland Dixon exhibited at Ingleton. He took his -regular circuits to the fairs in all the surrounding country far and -wide; but in the intervals of his vocation, he, who when abroad was -the servant of the public, became his own master at home. His puppets -were laid up in ordinary, the voice of Punch ceased, and the master of -the motions enjoyed <i>otium cum dignitate</i>. When he favoured his -friends and neighbours with an exhibition, it was <i>speciali gratiâ</i>, -and in a way that rather enhanced that dignity than derogated from it.</p> - -<p>A performer of a very different kind used in those days to visit -Ingleton in his rounds, where his arrival was always expected by some -of the community with great anxiety. This was a certain Dr. Green, who -having been regularly educated for the profession of medicine, and -regularly graduated in it, chose to practice as an itinerant, and take -the field with a Merry Andrew for his aid-de-camp. He was of a -respectable and wealthy family in the neighbourhood of Doncaster, -which neighbourhood on their account he never approached in his -professional circuits, though for himself he was far from being -ashamed of the character that he had assumed. The course which he had -taken had been deliberately chosen, with the twofold object of -gratifying his own humour, and making a fortune; and in the remoter as -well as in the immediate purpose, he succeeded to his heart's content.</p> - -<p>It is not often that so much worldly prudence is found connected with -so much eccentricity of character. A French poetess, Madame de -Villedieu, taking as a text for some verses the liberal maxim <i>que la -vertu dépend autant du temperament que des loix</i>, says,</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem71"> - <tr><td><small><i>Presque toujours chacun suit son caprice;<br> - Heureux est le mortel que les destins amis<br> - Ont partagé d'un caprice permis.</i></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>He is indeed a fortunate man who if he <i>must</i> have a hobby-horse, -which is the same as saying if he <i>will</i> have one, keeps it not merely -for pleasure, but for use, breaks it in well, has it entirely under -command, and gets as much work out of it as he could have done out of -a common roadster. Dr. Green did this; he had not taken to this -strange course because he was impatient of the restraints of society, -but because he fancied that his constitution both of body and of mind -required an erratic life; and that, within certain bounds which he -prescribed for himself, he might indulge in it, both to his own -advantage, and that of the community,—that part of the community at -least among whom it would be his lot to labour. Our laws had provided -itinerant Courts of Justice for the people. Our church had formerly -provided itinerant preachers; and after the Reformation when the -Mendicant Orders were abolished by whom this service used to be -performed, such preachers have never failed to appear during the -prevalence of any religious influenza. Dr. Green thought that -itinerant physicians were wanted; and that if practitioners regularly -educated and well qualified would condescend to such a course, the -poor ignorant people would no longer be cheated by travelling quacks, -and sometimes poisoned by them!</p> - -<p>One of the most reprehensible arts to which the Reformers resorted in -their hatred of popery, was that of adapting vulgar verses to church -tunes, and thus associating with ludicrous images, or with something -worse, melodies which had formerly been held sacred. It is related of -Whitefield that he, making a better use of the same device, fitted -hymns to certain popular airs, because, he said, “there was no reason -why the Devil should keep all the good tunes to himself.” Green acted -upon a similar principle when he took the field as a Physician Errant, -with his man Kemp, like another Sancho for his Squire. But the Doctor -was no Quixote; and his Merry Andrew had all Sancho's shrewdness, -without any alloy of his simpleness.</p> - -<p>In those times medical knowledge among the lower practitioners was at -the lowest point. Except in large towns the people usually trusted to -domestic medicine, which some Lady Bountiful administered from her -family receipt book; or to a Village Doctress whose prescriptions were -as likely sometimes to be dangerously active, as at others to be -ridiculous and inert. But while they held to their garden physic it -was seldom that any injury was done either by exhibiting wrong -medicines or violent ones.</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem72"> - <tr><td><small>Herbs, Woods and Springs, the power that in you lies<br> - If mortal man could know your properties!<small><sup>1</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>There was at one time abundant faith in those properties. The holy -Shepherdess in Fletcher's fine pastoral drama, which so infinitely -surpasses all foreign compositions of that class, thus apostrophises -the herbs which she goes out to cull:</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem73"> - <tr><td><small> - O you best sons of earth,<br> - You only brood unto whose happy birth<br> - Virtue was given, holding more of Nature<br> - Than man, her first-born and most perfect creature,—<br> - Let me adore you, you that only can<br> - Help or kill Nature, drawing out that span<br> - Of life and breath even to the end of time!</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>So abundantly was the English garden stocked in the age of the Tudors, -that Tusser, after enumerating in an Appendix to one of his Chapters -two and forty herbs for the kitchen, fourteen others for sallads or -sauces, eleven to boil or butter, seventeen as strewing herbs, and -forty “herbs branches and flowers for windows and pots,” adds a list -of seventeen herbs “to still in summer,” and of five and twenty -“necessary herbs to grow in the garden for physic, not rehearsed -before;” and after all advises his readers to seek more in the fields. -He says,</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem74"> - <tr><td><small>The nature of Flowers dame Physic doth shew;<br> - She teacheth them all to be known to a few.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>Elsewhere he observes that</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem75"> - <tr><td><small>The knowledge of stilling is one pretty feat,<br> - The waters be wholesome, the charges not great.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> F<small>LETCHER</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>In a comedy of Lord Digby's, written more than a hundred years after -Tusser's didactics, one of the scenes is laid in a lady's laboratory, -“with a fountain in it, some stills, and many shelves, with pots of -porcelain and glasses;” and when the lady wishes to keep her attendant -out of the way, she sends her there, saying</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem76"> - <tr><td><small>I have a task to give you,——carefully<br> - To shift the oils in the perfuming room,<br> - As in the several ranges you shall see<br> - The old begin to wither. To do it well<br> - Will take you up some hours, but 'tis a work<br> - I oft perform myself.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>And Tusser among “the Points of Housewifery united to the Comfort of -Husbandry,” includes good housewifely physic, as inculcated in these -rhymes;</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem77"> - <tr><td><small>Good houswife provides ere an sickness do come,<br> - Of sundry good things in her house to have some;<br> - Good <i>aqua composita</i>, and vinegar tart,<br> - Rose water, and treacle to comfort the heart;<br> - Cold herbs in her garden for agues that burn,<br> - That over-strong heat to good temper may turn;<br> - White endive, and succory, with spinage enow,<br> - All such with good pot-herbs should follow the plough.<br> - Get water of fumitory liver to cool,<br> - And others the like, or else go like a fool;<br> - Conserves of barberry, quinces and such,<br> - With syrups that easeth the sickly so much.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>Old Gervase Markham in his “Approved Book called the English -Housewife, containing the inward and outward virtues which ought to be -in a complete woman,” places her skill in physic as one of the most -principal; “you shall understand,” he says, “that sith the -preservation and care of the family touching their health and -soundness of body consisteth most in her diligence, it is meet that -she have a physical kind of knowledge, how to administer any wholesome -receipts or medicines for the good of their healths, as well to -prevent the first occasion of sickness, as to take away the effects -and evil of the same, when it hath made seizure upon the body.” And -“as it must be confessed that the depths and secrets of this most -excellent art of physic, are far beyond the capacity of the most -skilful woman,” he relates for the Housewife's use some “approved -medecines and old doctrines, gathered together by two excellent and -famous physicians, and in a manuscript given to a great worthy -Countess of this land.”</p> - -<p>The receipts collected in this and other books for domestic practice -are some of them so hyper-composite that even Tusser's garden could -hardly supply all the indigenous ingredients; others are of the most -fantastic kind, and for the most part they were as troublesome in -preparation, and many of them as disgusting, as they were futile. That -“Sovereign Water” which was invented by Dr. Stephens was composed of -almost all known spices, and all savoury and odorous herbs, distilled -in claret. With this Dr. Stephens “preserved his own life until such -extreme old age that he could neither go nor ride; and he did continue -his life, being bed-rid five years, when other physicians did judge he -could not live one year; and he confessed a little before his death, -that if he were sick at any time, he never used any thing but this -water only. And also the Archbishop of Canterbury used it, and found -such goodness in it that he lived till he was not able to drink out of -a cup, but sucked his drink through a hollow pipe of silver.”</p> - -<p>Twenty-nine plants were used in the composition of Dr. Adrian -Gilbert's most sovereign Cordial Water, besides hartshorn, figs, -raisins, gillyflowers, cowslips, marygolds, blue violets, red -rose-buds, ambergris, bezoar-stone, sugar, aniseed, liquorice, and to -crown all, “what else you please.” But then it was sovereign against -all fevers; and one who in time of plague should take two spoonsfull -of it in good beer, or white wine, “he might walk safely from danger, -by the leave of God.”—The Water of Life was distilled from nearly as -many ingredients, to which were added a fleshy running capon, the -loins and legs of an old coney, the red flesh of the sinews of a leg -of mutton, four young chickens, twelve larks, the yolks of twelve -eggs, and a loaf of white bread, all to be distilled in white wine.</p> - -<p>For consumption, there were pills in which powder of pearls, of white -amber and of coral, were the potential ingredients; there was -cockwater, the cock being to be chased and beaten before he was -killed, or else plucked alive! and there was a special water procured -by distillation, from a peck of garden shell-snails and a quart of -earth worms, besides other things; this was prescribed not for -consumption alone, but for dropsy and all obstructions. For all -faintness, hot agues, heavy fantasies and imaginations, a cordial was -prepared in tabulates, which were called <i>Manus Christi:</i> the true -receipt required one ounce of prepared pearls to twelve of fine sugar, -boiled with rose water, violet water, cinnamon water, “or howsoever -one would have them.” But apothecaries seldom used more than a drachm -of pearls to a pound of sugar, because men would not go to the cost -thereof; and the <i>Manus Christi simplex</i> was made without any pearl at -all. For broken bones, bones out of joint, or any grief in the bones -or sinews, oil of swallows was pronounced exceeding sovereign, and -this was to be procured by pounding twenty live swallows in a mortar -with about as many different herbs! A mole, male or female according -to the sex of the patient, was to be dried in an oven whole as taken -out of the earth, and administered in powder for the falling evil. A -grey eel with a white belly was to be closed in an earthen pot, and -buried alive in a dunghill, and at the end of a fortnight its oil -might be collected to “help hearing.” A mixture of rose leaves and -pigeon's dung quilted in a bag, and laid hot upon the parts affected, -was thought to help a stitch in the side; and for a quinsey, “give the -party to drink,” says Markham, “the herb mouse-ear, steept in ale or -beer; and look when you see a swine rub himself, and there upon the -same place rub a slick-stone, and then with it slick all the swelling, -and it will cure it.”</p> - -<p>To make hair grow on a bald part of the head, garden snails were to be -plucked out of their houses, and pounded with horse-leaches, bees, -wasps and salt, an equal quantity of each; and the baldness was to be -anointed with the moisture from this mixture after it had been buried -eight days in a hot bed. For the removal and extirpation of -superfluous hairs, a depilatory was to be made by drowning in a pint -of wine as many green frogs as it would cover, (about twenty was the -number,) setting the pot forty days in the sun, and then straining it -for use.</p> - -<p>A water specially good against gravel or dropsy might be distilled -from the dried and pulverized blood of a black buck or he-goat, three -or four years old. The animal was to be kept by himself, in the summer -time when the sun was in Leo, and dieted for three weeks upon certain -herbs given in prescribed order, and to drink nothing but red wine, if -you would have the best preparation, though some persons allowed him -his fill of water every third day. But there was a water of mans blood -which in Queen Elizabeth's days was a new invention, “whereof some -princes had very great estimation, and used it for to remain thereby -in their force, and, as they thought, to live long.” A strong man was -to be chosen, in his flourishing youth, and of twenty-five years, and -somewhat choleric by nature. He was to be well dieted for one month -with light and healthy meats, and with all kinds of spices, and with -good strong wine, and moreover to be kept with mirth; at the month's -end veins in both arms were to be opened, and as much blood to be let -out as he could “tolerate and abide.” One handful of salt was to be -added to six pounds of this blood, and this was to be seven times -distilled, pouring the water upon the residuum after every -distillation, till the last. This was to be taken three or four times -a year, an ounce at a time. One has sight of a theory here; the life -was thought to be in the blood, and to be made transferable when thus -extracted.</p> - -<p>Richard Brathwait, more famous since Mr. Haslewood has identified him -with Drunken Barnaby, than as author of “the English Gentleman and the -English Gentlewoman, presented to present times for ornaments, and -commended to posterity for precedents,” says of this Gentlewoman, -“herbals she peruseth, which she seconds with conference; and by -degrees so improves her knowledge, as her cautelous care perfits many -a dangerous cure.” But herbals were not better guides than the medical -books of which specimens have just been set before the reader, except -that they did not lead the practitioner so widely and perilously -astray. “Had Solomon,” says the author of Adam in Eden, or the -Paradise of Plants, “that great proficient in all sublunary -experiments, preserved those many volumes that he wrote in this kind, -for the instruction of future ages, so great was that spaciousness of -mind that God had bestowed on him, that he had immediately under the -Deity been the greatest of Doctors for the preservation of mankind: -but with the loss of his books so much lamented by the Rabbins and -others, the best part of this herbarary art hath since groaned under -the defects of many unworthy authors, and still remains under divers -clouds and imperfections.” This writer, “the ingeniously learned and -excellent Herbarist Mr. William Coles,” professing as near as possible -to acquaint all sorts of people with the very pith and marrow of -herbarism, arranges his work according to the anatomical application -of plants, “appropriating,” says he, “to every part of the body, (from -the crown of the head, with which I begin, and proceed till I come to -the sole of the foot,) such herbs and plants whose grand uses and -virtues do most specifically, and by signature thereunto belong, not -only for strengthening the same, but also for curing the evil effects -whereunto they are subjected:—the signatures being as it were the -books out of which the ancients first learned the virtues of herbs; -Nature, or rather the God of Nature, having stamped on divers of them -legible characters to discover their uses, though he hath left others -without any, that after he had shewed them the way, they, by their -labour and industry which renders every thing more acceptable, might -find out the rest.” It was an opinion often expressed by a physician -of great and deserved celebrity, that in course of time specifics -would be discovered for every malady to which the human frame is -liable. He never supposed, (though few men have ever been more -sanguine in their hopes and expectations,) that life was thus to be -indefinitely prolonged, and that it would be man's own fault, or his -own choice, if he did not live for ever; but he thought that when we -should thus have been taught to subdue those diseases which cut our -life short, we should, like the Patriarchs, live out the number of our -days, and then fall asleep,—Man being by this physical redemption -restored to his original corporeal state.</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem78"> - <tr><td><small>Then shall like four straight pillars, the four Elements<br> - Support the goodly structure of Mortality:<br> - Then shall the four Complexions, like four heads<br> - Of a clear river, streaming in his body,<br> - Nourish and comfort every vein and sinew:<br> - No sickness of contagion, no grim death,<br> - Or deprivation of health's real blessings,<br> - Shall then affright the creature, built by Heaven,<br> - Reserved for immortality.<small><sup>2</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>2</sup></small> F<small>ORD</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>He had not taken up this notion from any religious feeling; it was -connected in him with the pride of philosophy, and he expected that -this was one of the blessings which we were to obtain in the progress -of knowledge.</p> - -<p>Some specific remedies being known to exist, it is indeed reasonable -to suppose that others will be found. Old theorists went farther; and -in a world which everywhere bears such undeniable evidences of design -in every thing, few theories should seem more likely to be favourably -received than the one which supposed that every healing plant bears, -in some part of its structure, the type or signature of its peculiar -virtues: now this could in no other way be so obviously marked, as by -a resemblance to that part of the human frame for which its remedial -uses were intended. There is a fable indeed which says that he who may -be so fortunate as to taste the blood of a certain unknown animal -would be enabled thereby to hear the voice of plants and understand -their speech; and if he were on a mountain at sunrise, he might hear -the herbs which grow there, when freshened with the dews of night they -open themselves to the beams of the morning, return thanks to the -Creator for the virtues with which he has indued them, each specifying -what those virtues were, <i>le quali veramente son tante e tali che -beati i pastori che quelle capessero</i>. A botanical writer who -flourished a little before the theory of signatures was started -complains that herbal medicine had fallen into disuse; he says, -“<i>antequam chemia patrum nostrorum memoriâ orbi restitueretur, -contenti vivebant ὅι τῶν ἰατρῶν κομψὸι και χαριὲστατοι -pharmacis ex vegetabilium regno accersitis parum solliciti de Solis -sulphure et oleo, de Lunæ sale et essentiâ, de Saturni saccaro, de -Martis tincturâ et croco, de vitriolo Veneris, de Mercurio -præcipitato, et Antimonii floribus, de Sulphuris spiritu et Tartari -crystallis: nihilominus masculè debellabant morbos, et tutè et -jucundè. Nunc sæculi nostri infelicitas est, quod vegetabilibus -contemptim habitis, plerique nihil aliud spirant præter metallica -ista, et extis parata horribilia secreta.</i>”<small><small><sup>3</sup></small></small> The new theory came in -timely aid of the Galenists; it connected their practice with a -doctrine hardly less mysterious than those of the Paracelsists, but -more plausible because it seemed immediately intelligible, and had a -natural religious feeling to strengthen and support it.</p> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>3</sup></small> Petri Laurembergii Rostochiensis -Horticultura—Præloquium, p. 10.</small></blockquote> - -<p>The Author of Adam in Eden refers to Oswald Crollius as “the great -discoverer of signatures,” and no doubt has drawn from him, most of -his remarks upon this theory of physical correspondence. The -resemblance is in some cases very obvious; but in many more the -Swedenborgian correspondences are not more fantastic; and where the -resemblances exist the inference is purely theoretical.</p> - -<p>Walnuts are said to have the perfect signature of the head; the outer -husks or green covering represents the <i>pericranium</i>, or outward skin -of the skull, whereon the hair groweth,—and therefore salt made of -those husks is exceeding good for wounds in the head. The inner woody -shell hath the signature of the skull, and the little yellow skin or -peel, that of the <i>dura</i> and <i>pia mater</i> which are the thin scarfs -that envelope the brain. The kernel hath “the very figure of the -brain, and therefore it is very profitable for the brain and resists -poisons.” So too the Piony, being not yet blown, was thought to have -“some signature and proportion with the head of man, having sutures -and little veins dispersed up and down, like unto those which environ -the brain: when the flowers blow they open an outward little skin -representing the skull:” the piony therefore besides its other virtues -was very available against the falling sickness. Poppy heads with -their crowns somewhat represent the head and brain, and therefore -decoctions of them were used with good success in several diseases of -the head. And Lillies of the Valley, which in Coles's days grew -plentifully upon Hampstead-heath, were known by signature to cure the -apoplexy; “for as that disease is caused by the dropping of humours -into the principal ventricles of the brain, so the flowers of this -lilly hanging on the plants as if they were drops, are of wonderful -use herein.”</p> - -<p>All capillary herbs were of course sovereign in diseases of the hair; -and because the purple and yellow spots and stripes upon the flowers -of Eyebright very much resemble the appearance of diseased eyes, it -was found out by that signature that this herb was very effectual “for -curing of the same.” The small Stone-crop hath the signature of the -gums, and is therefore good for scurvy. The exquisite Crollius -observed that the woody scales of which the cones of the pine tree are -composed, resemble the fore teeth; and therefore pine leaves boiled in -vinegar make a gargle which relieves the tooth-ache. The Pomegranate -has a like virtue for a like reason. Thistles and Holly leaves signify -by their prickles that they are excellent for pleurisy and stiches in -the side. Saxifrage manifesteth in its growth its power of breaking -the stone. It had been found experimentally that all roots, barks and -flowers which were yellow, cured the yellow jaundice; and though -Kidney beans as yet were only used for food, yet having so perfect a -signature, practitioners in physic were exhorted to take it into -consideration and try whether there were not in this plant some -excellent faculty to cure nephritic diseases. In pursuing this -fantastic system examples might be shown of that mischief, which, -though it may long remain latent, never fails at some time or other to -manifest itself as inherent in all error and falsehood.</p> - -<p>When the mistresses of families grounded their practice of physic upon -such systems of herbary, or took it from books which contained -prescriptions like those before adduced, (few being either more simple -or more rational,) Dr. Green might well argue that when he mounted his -hobby and rode out seeking adventures as a Physician-Errant, he went -forth for the benefit of his fellow creatures. The guidance of such -works, or of their own traditional receipts, the people in fact then -generally followed. Burton tells us that Paulus Jovius in his -description of Britain, and Levinus Lemnius have observed, of this our -island, how there was of old no use of physic amongst us, and but -little at this day, except he says “it be for a few nice idle -citizens, surfeiting courtiers, and stall-fed gentlemen lubbers. The -country people use kitchen physic.” There are two instances among the -papers of the Berkeley family, of the little confidence which persons -of rank placed upon such medical advice and medicinal preparations as -could be obtained in the country, and even in the largest of our -provincial cities. In the second year of Elizabeth's reign Henry Lord -Berkeley “having extremely heated himself by chasing on foot a tame -deer in Yate Park, with the violence thereof fell into an immoderate -bleeding of the nose, to stay which, by the ill counsel of some about -him, he dipt his whole face into a bason of cold water, whereby,” says -the family chronicler, “that flush and fulness of his nose which -forthwith arose could never be remedied, though for present help he -had Physicians in a few days from London, and for better help came -thither himself not long after to have the advice of the whole -College, and lodged with his mother at her house in Shoe-lane.”—He -never afterwards could sing with truth or satisfaction the old song,</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem79"> - <tr><td><small>Nose, Nose, jolly red Nose,<br> - And what gave thee that jolly red Nose?<br> - Cinnamon and Ginger, Nutmegs and Cloves,<br> - And they gave me this jolly red Nose.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>A few years later, “Langham an Irish footman of this Lord, upon the -sickness of the Lady Catherine, this Lord's wife, carried a letter -from Callowdon to old Dr. Fryer, a physician dwelling in Little -Britain in London; and returned with a glass bottle in his hand -compounded by the doctor for the recovery of her health, a journey of -an hundred and forty-eight miles performed by him in less than -forty-two hours, notwithstanding his stay of one night at the -physician's and apothecary's houses, which no one horse could have so -well and safely performed.” No doubt it was for the safer conveyance -of the bottle, that a footman was sent on this special errand, for -which the historian of that noble family adds, “the lady shall after -give him a new suit of cloaths.”</p> - -<p>In those days, and long after, they who required remedies were likely -to fare ill, under their own treatment, or that of their neighbours; -and worse under the travelling quack, who was always an ignorant and -impudent impostor, but found that human sufferings and human credulity -afforded him a never-failing harvest. Dr. Green knew this: he did not -say with the Romish priest <i>populus vult decipi, et decipietur!</i> for -he had no intention of deceiving them; but he saw that many were to be -won by buffoonery, more by what is called <i>palaver</i>, and almost all by -pretensions. Condescending therefore to the common arts of quackery, -he employed his man Kemp to tickle the multitude with coarse wit; but -he stored himself with the best drugs that were to be procured, -distributed as general remedies such only as could hardly be -misapplied and must generally prove serviceable; and brought to -particular cases the sound knowledge which he had acquired in the -school of Boerhaave, and the skill which he had derived from -experience aided by natural sagacity. When it became convenient for -him to have a home, he established himself at Penrith, in the County -of Cumberland, having married a lady of that place; but he long -continued his favourite course of life and accumulated in it a large -fortune. He gained it by one maggot, and reduced it by many: -nevertheless there remained a handsome inheritance for his children. -His son proved as maggotty as the father, ran through a good fortune, -and when confined in the King's Bench prison for debt, wrote a book -upon the Art of cheap living in London!</p> - -<p>The father's local fame, though it has not reached to the third and -fourth generation, survived him far into the second; and for many -years after his retirement from practice, and even after his death -every travelling mountebank in the northern counties adopted the name -of Dr. Green.</p> - -<p>At the time to which this chapter refers, Dr. Green was in his -meridian career, and enjoyed the highest reputation throughout the -sphere of his itinerancy. Ingleton lay in his rounds, and whenever he -came there he used to send for the schoolmaster to pass the evening -with him. He was always glad if he could find an opportunity also of -conversing with the elder Daniel, as the Flossofer of those parts. -William Dove could have communicated to him more curious things -relating to his own art; but William kept out of the presence of -strangers, and had happily no ailments to make him seek the Doctor's -advice; his occasional indispositions were but slight, and he treated -them in his own way. That way was sometimes merely superstitious, -sometimes it was whimsical, and sometimes rough. If his charms failed -when he tried them upon himself, it was not for want of faith. When at -any time it happened that one of his eyes was blood-shot, he went -forthwith in search of some urchin whose mother, either for laziness, -or in the belief that it was wholesome to have it in that state, -allowed his ragged head to serve as a free warren for certain “small -deer.” One of these hexapeds William secured, and “using him as if he -loved him,” put it into his eye; when according to William's account -the insect fed upon what it found, cleared the eye, and disappearing -he knew not where or how, never was seen more.</p> - -<p>His remedy for the cholic was a pebble posset; white pebbles were -preferred, and of these what was deemed a reasonable quantity was -taken in some sort of milk porridge. Upon the same theory he sometimes -swallowed a pebble large enough as he said to clear all before it; and -for that purpose they have been administered of larger calibre than -any bolus that ever came from the hands of the most merciless -apothecary, as large indeed sometimes as a common sized walnut. Does -the reader hesitate at believing this of an ignorant man, living in a -remote part of the country? Well might William Dove be excused, for a -generation later than his John Wesley prescribed in his Primitive -Physic quicksilver, to be taken ounce by ounce, to the amount of one, -two, or three pounds, till the desired effect was produced. And a -generation earlier, Richard Baxter of happy memory and unhappy -digestion, having read in Dr. Gerhard “the admirable effects of the -swallowing of a gold bullet upon his father,” in a case which Baxter -supposed to be like his own, got a gold bullet of between twenty and -thirty shillings weight, and swallowed it. “Having taken it,” says he, -“I knew not how to be delivered of it again. I took clysters and -purges for about three weeks, but nothing stirred it; and a gentleman -having done the like, the bullet never came from him till he died, and -it was cut out. But at last my neighbours set a day apart to fast and -pray for me, and I was freed from my danger in the beginning of that day!”</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect40"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXV. P. I.</h4> - -<center><i>Hiatus valde lacrymabilis.</i></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem80"> - <tr><td><small> Time flies away fast,<br> - The while we never remember<br> - How soon our life here<br> - Grows old with the year<br> - That dies with the next December!<br> - - - -H<small>ERRICK</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>I must pass over fourteen years, for were I to pursue the history of -our young Daniel's boyhood and adolescence into all the ramifications -which a faithful biography requires, fourteen volumes would not -contain it. They would be worth reading, for that costs little; they -would be worth writing, though that costs much. They would deserve the -best embellishments that the pencil and the graver could produce. The -most poetical of artists would be worthily employed in designing the -sentimental and melancholy scenes; Cruikshank for the grotesque; -Wilkie and Richter for the comic and serio-comic; Turner for the -actual scenery; Bewick for the head and tail pieces. They ought to be -written; they ought to be read. They should be written—and then they -would be read. But time is wanting:</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem81"> - <tr><td><small><i>Eheu! fugaces Posthume, Posthume,<br> - Labuntur anni!</i></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>and time is a commodity of which the value rises as long as we live. -We must be contented with doing not what we wish, but what we -can,—our <i>possible</i> as the French call it.</p> - -<p>One of our Poets—(which is it?)—speaks of an <i>everlasting now</i>. If -such a condition of existence were offered to us in this world, and it -were put to the vote whether we should accept the offer and fix all -things immutably as they are, who are they whose voices would be given -in the affirmative?</p> - -<p>Not those who are in pursuit of fortune, or of fame, or of knowledge, -or of enjoyment, or of happiness; though with regard to all of these, -as far as any of them are attainable, there is more pleasure in the -pursuit than in the attainment.</p> - -<p>Not those who are at sea, or travelling in a stage coach.</p> - -<p>Not the man who is shaving himself.</p> - -<p>Not those who have the tooth ache, or who are having a tooth drawn.</p> - -<p>The fashionable beauty might; and the fashionable singer, and the -fashionable opera dancer, and the actor who is in the height of his -power and reputation. So might the alderman at a city feast. So would -the heir who is squandering a large fortune faster than it was -accumulated for him. And the thief who is not taken, and the convict -who is not hanged, and the scoffer at religion whose heart belies his -tongue.</p> - -<p>Not the wise and the good.</p> - -<p>Not those who are in sickness or in sorrow.</p> - -<p>Not I.</p> - -<p>But were I endowed with the power of suspending the effect of time -upon the things around me, methinks there are some of my flowers which -should neither fall nor fade: decidedly my kitten should never attain -to cathood; and I am afraid my little boy would continue to “mis-speak -half-uttered words;” and never, while I live, outgrow that epicene -dress of French grey, half European, half Asiatic in its fashion.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect41"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXVI. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>DANIEL AT DONCASTER; THE REASON WHY HE WAS DESTINED FOR THE MEDICAL -PROFESSION, RATHER THAN HOLY ORDERS; AND SOME REMARKS UPON SERMONS.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small><i>Je ne veux dissimuler, amy Lecteur, que je n'aye bien préveu, et me -tiens pour deüement adverty, que ne puis eviter la reprehension -d'aucuns, et les calomnies de plusieurs, ausquels c'est éscrit -désplaira du tout.</i></small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>C<small>HRISTOFLE DE</small> H<small>ERICOURT</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Fourteen years have elapsed since the scene took place which is -related in the twenty-second chapter: and Daniel the younger at the -time to which this present chapter refers was residing at Doncaster -with Peter Hopkins who practised the medical art in all its branches. -He had lived with him eight years, first as a pupil, latterly in the -capacity of an assistant, and afterwards as an adopted successor.</p> - -<p>How this connection between Daniel and Peter Hopkins was brought -about, and the circumstances which prepared the way for it, would have -appeared in some of the non-existent fourteen volumes, if it had -pleased Fate that they should have been written.</p> - -<p>Some of my readers, and especially those who pride themselves upon -their knowledge of the world, or their success in it, will think it -strange perhaps that the elder Daniel, when he resolved to make a -scholar of his son, did not determine upon breeding him either to the -Church, or the Law, in either of which professions the way was easier -and more inviting. Now though this will not appear strange to those -other readers who have perceived that the father had no knowledge of -the world, and could have none, it is nevertheless proper to enter -into some explanation upon that point.</p> - -<p>If George Herbert's Temple, or his Remains, or his life by old Izaak -Walton, had all or any of them happened to be among those few but -precious books which Daniel prized so highly and used so well, it is -likely that the wish of his heart would have been to train up his Son -for a Priest to the Temple. But so it was that none of his reading was -of a kind to give his thoughts that direction; and he had not -conceived any exalted opinion of the Clergy from the specimens which -had fallen in his way. A contempt which was but too general had been -brought upon the Order by the ignorance or the poverty of a great -proportion of its members. The person who served the humble church -which Daniel dutifully attended was almost as poor as a Capuchine, and -quite as ignorant. This poor man had obtained in evil hour from some -easy or careless Bishop a licence to preach. It was reprehensible -enough to have ordained one who was destitute of every qualification -that the office requires; the fault was still greater in promoting him -from the desk to the pulpit.</p> - -<p>“A very great Scholar,” is quoted by Dr. Eachard, as saying “that such -preaching as is usual is a hindrance of salvation rather than the -means to it.” This was said when the fashion of conceited preaching -which is satirized in Frey Gerundio, had extended to England, and -though that fashion has so long been obsolete, that many persons will -be surprized to hear it had ever existed among us, it may still -reasonably be questioned whether sermons such as they commonly are, do -not quench more devotion than they kindle.</p> - -<p>My Lord! put not the book aside in displeasure! (I address myself to -whatever Bishop may be reading it.) Unbiassed I will not call myself, -for I am a true and orthodox churchman, and have the interests of the -Church zealously at heart, because I believe and know them to be -essentially and inseparably connected with those of the commonwealth. -But I have been an attentive observer, and as such, request a hearing. -Receive my remarks as coming from one whose principles are in entire -accord with your Lordship's, whose wishes have the same scope and -purport, and who while he offers his honest opinion, submits it with -proper humility to your judgement.</p> - -<p>The founders of the English Church did not intend that the sermon -should invariably form a part of the Sunday services. It became so in -condescension to the Puritans, of whom it has long been the fashion to -speak with respect, instead of holding them up to the contempt and -infamy and abhorrence which they have so richly merited. They have -been extolled by their descendants and successors as models of -patriotism and piety; and the success with which this delusion has -been practised is one of the most remarkable examples of what may be -effected by dint of effrontery and persevering falsehood.</p> - -<p>That sentence I am certain will not be disapproved at Fulham or -Lambeth. Dr. Southey, or Dr. Phillpots might have written it.</p> - -<p>The general standard of the Clergy has undoubtedly been very much -raised since the days when they were not allowed to preach without a -licence for that purpose from the Ordinary. Nevertheless it is certain -that many persons who are in other, and more material respects well, -or even excellently qualified for the ministerial functions, may be -wanting in the qualifications for a preacher. A man may possess great -learning, sound principles and good sense, and yet be without the -talent of arranging and expressing his thoughts well in a written -discourse: he may want the power of fixing the attention, or reaching -the hearts of his hearers; and in that case the discourse, as some old -writer has said in serious jest, which was designed for <i>e</i>dification -turns to <i>te</i>dification. The evil was less in Addison's days when he -who distrusted his own abilities, availed himself of the compositions -of some approved Divine, and was not disparaged in the opinion of his -congregation, by taking a printed volume into the pulpit. This is no -longer practised; but instead of this, which secured wholesome -instruction to the people, sermons are manufactured for sale, and sold -in manuscript, or printed in a cursive type imitating manuscript. The -articles which are prepared for such a market, are for the most part -copied from obscure books, with more or less alteration of language, -and generally for the worse; and so far as they are drawn from such -sources they are not likely to contain any thing exceptionable on the -score of doctrine: but the best authors will not be resorted to, for -fear of discovery, and therefore when these are used, the congregation -lose as much in point of instruction, as he who uses them ought to -lose in self-esteem.</p> - -<p>But it is more injurious when a more scrupulous man composes his own -discourses, if he be deficient either in judgement or learning. He is -then more likely to entangle plain texts than to unravel knotty ones; -rash positions are sometimes advanced by such preachers, unsound -arguments are adduced by them in support of momentous doctrines, and -though these things neither offend the ignorant and careless, nor -injure the well-minded and well-informed, they carry poison with them -when they enter a diseased ear. It cannot be doubted that such sermons -act as corroboratives for infidelity.</p> - -<p>Nor when they contain nothing that is actually erroneous, but are -merely unimproving, are they in that case altogether harmless. They -are not harmless if they are felt to be tedious. They are not harmless -if they torpify the understanding: a chill that begins there may -extend to the vital regions. Bishop Taylor (the great Jeremy) says of -devotional books that “they are in a large degree the occasion of so -great indevotion as prevails among the generality of nominal -Christians, being,” he says, “represented naked in the conclusions of -spiritual life, without or art or learning; and made apt for persons -who can do nothing but believe and love, not for them that can -consider and love.” This applies more forcibly to bad sermons than to -common-place books of devotion; the book may be laid aside if it -offend the reader's judgement, but the sermon is a positive infliction -upon the helpless hearer.</p> - -<p>The same Bishop,—and his name ought to carry with it authority among -the wise and the good, has delivered an opinion upon this subject, in -his admirable Apology for Authorized and Set Forms of Liturgy. -“Indeed,” he says, “if I may freely declare my opinion, I think it -were not amiss, if the liberty of making sermons were something more -restrained than it is; and that such persons only were intrusted with -the liberty, for whom the church herself may safely be -responsive,—that is men learned and pious; and that the other part, -the <i>vulgus cleri</i>, should instruct the people out of the fountains of -the church and the public stock, till by so long exercise and -discipline in the schools of the Prophets they may also be intrusted -to minister of their own unto the people. This I am sure was the -practice of the Primitive Church.”</p> - -<p>“I am convinced,” said Dr. Johnson, “that I ought to be at Divine -Service more frequently than I am; but the provocations given by -ignorant and affected preachers too often disturb the mental calm -which otherwise would succeed to prayer. I am apt to whisper to myself -on such occasions, ‘How can this illiterate fellow dream of fixing -attention, after we have been listening to the sublimest truths, -conveyed in the most chaste and exalted language, throughout a liturgy -which must be regarded as the genuine offspring of piety impregnated -by wisdom!’”—“Take notice, however,” he adds, “though I make this -confession respecting myself, I do not mean to recommend the -fastidiousness that sometimes leads me to exchange congregational for -solitary worship.”</p> - -<p>The saintly Herbert says,</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem82"> - <tr><td><small>“Judge not the Preacher, for he is thy Judge;<br> - If thou mislike him thou conceiv'st him not.<br> - God calleth preaching folly. Do not grudge<br> - To pick out treasures from an earthen pot.<br> - The worst speak something good. If all want sense<br> - God takes a text and preacheth patience.<br> -<br> - He that gets patience and the blessing which<br> - Preachers conclude with, hath not lost his pains.”</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>This sort of patience was all that Daniel could have derived from the -discourses of the poor curate; and it was a lesson of which his meek -and benign temper stood in no need. Nature had endowed him with this -virtue, and this Sunday's discipline exercised without strengthening -it. While he was, in the phrase of the Religious Public, <i>sitting -under</i> the preacher, he obeyed to a certain extent George Herbert's -precept,—that is he obeyed it as he did other laws with the existence -of which he was unacquainted,—</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem83"> - <tr><td><small>Let vain or busy thoughts have there no part;<br> - Bring not thy plough, thy plots, thy pleasure thither.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>Pleasure made no part of his speculations at any time. Plots he had -none. For the Plough,—it was what he never followed in fancy, -patiently as he plodded after the furrow in his own vocation. And then -for worldly thoughts they were not likely in that place to enter a -mind, which never at any time entertained them. But to that sort of -thought (if thought it may be called) which cometh as it listeth, and -which when the mind is at ease and the body in health, is the -forerunner and usher of sleep, he certainly gave way. The curate's -voice past over his ear like the sound of the brook with which it -blended, and it conveyed to him as little meaning and less feeling. -During the sermon therefore he retired into himself, with as much or -as little edification, as a Quaker finds at a silent meeting.</p> - -<p>It happened also that of the few clergy within the very narrow circle -in which Daniel moved, some were in no good repute for their conduct, -and none displayed either that zeal in the discharge of their pastoral -functions, or that earnestness and ability in performing the service -of the Church, which are necessary for commanding the respect and -securing the affections of the parishioners. The clerical profession -had never presented itself to him in its best, which is really its -true light; and for that cause he would never have thought of it for -the boy, even if the means of putting him forward in this path had -been easier and more obvious than they were. And for the dissenting -ministry, Daniel liked not the name of a Nonconformist. The Puritans -had left behind them an ill savour in his part of the country, as they -had done every where else; and the extravagances of the primitive -Quakers, which during his childhood were fresh in remembrance, had not -yet been forgotten.</p> - -<p>It was well remembered in those parts that the Vicar of Kirkby -Lonsdale through the malignity of some of his puritanical -parishioners, had been taken out of his bed—from his wife who was -then big with child, and hurried away to Lancaster jail, where he was -imprisoned three years for no other offence than that of fidelity to -his Church and his King. And that the man who was a chief instigator -of this persecution, and had enriched himself by the spoil of his -neighbour's goods, though he flourished for a while, bought a field -and built a fine house, came to poverty at last, and died in prison, -having for some time received his daily food there from the table of -one of this very Vicar's sons. It was well remembered also that, in a -parish of the adjoining county-palatine, the puritanical party had set -fire in the night to the Rector's barns, stable, and parsonage; and -that he and his wife and children had only as it were by miracle -escaped from the flames.</p> - -<p>William Dove had also among his traditional stores some stories of a -stranger kind concerning the Quakers, these parts of the North having -been a great scene of their vagaries in their early days. He used to -relate how one of them went into the church at Brough, during the -reign of the Puritans, with a white sheet about his body, and a rope -about his neck, to prophesy before the people and their Whig Priest -(as he called him) that the surplice which was then prohibited should -again come into use, and that the Gallows should have its due! And how -when their ringleader George Fox was put in prison at Carlisle, the -wife of Justice Benson would eat no meat unless she partook it with -him at the bars of his dungeon, declaring she was moved to do this; -wherefore it was supposed he had bewitched her. And not without -reason; for when this old George went, as he often did, into the -Church to disturb the people, and they thrust him out, and fell upon -him and beat him, sparing neither sticks nor stones if they came to -hand, he was presently for all that they had done to him, as sound and -as fresh as if nothing had touched him; and when they tried to kill -him, they could not take away his life! And how this old George rode a -great black horse, upon which he was seen in the course of the same -hour at two places threescore miles distant from each other! And how -some of the women who followed this old George used to strip off all -their clothes, and in that plight go into the church at service time -on the Sunday to bear testimony against the pomps and vanities of the -world; “and to be sure,” said William, “they must have been witched, -or they never would have done this.” “Lord deliver us!” said Dinah, -“to be sure they must!”—“To be sure they must, Lord bless us all!” -said Haggy.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect42"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXVII. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>A PASSAGE IN PROCOPIUS IMPROVED. A STORY CONCERNING URIM AND THUMMIM; -AND THE ELDER DANIEL'S OPINION OF THE PROFESSION OF THE LAW.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem84"> - <tr><td><small> -Here is Domine Picklock<br> - My man of Law, sollicits all my causes,<br> - Follows my business, makes and compounds my quarrels<br> - Between my tenants and me; sows all my strifes<br> - And reaps them too, troubles the country for me,<br> - And vexes any neighbour that I please.<br> - - - - -B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<p>Among the people who were converted to the Christian faith during the -sixth century were two tribes or nations called the Lazi and the Zani. -Methinks it had been better if they had been left unconverted; for -they have multiplied prodigiously among us, so that between the Lazy -Christians and the Zany ones, Christianity has grievously suffered.</p> - -<p>It was one of the Zany tribe whom Guy once heard explaining to his -congregation what was meant by Urim and Thummim, and in technical -phrase <i>improving</i> the text. Urim and Thummim, he said, were two -precious stones, or rather stones above all price, the Hebrew names of -which have been interpreted to signify Light and Perfection, or -Doctrine and Judgement, (which Luther prefers in his Bible, and in -which some of the northern versions, have followed him) or the Shining -and the Perfect, or Manifestation and Truth, the words in the original -being capable of any or all of these significations. They were set in -the High Priest's breast-plate of judgement; and when he consulted -them upon any special occasion to discover the will of God, they -displayed an extraordinary brilliancy if the matter which was referred -to this trial were pleasing to the Lord Jehovah, but they gave no -lustre if it were disapproved. “My Brethren,” said the Preacher, “this -is what learned Expositors, Jewish and Christian, tell me concerning -these two precious stones. The stones themselves are lost. But, my -Christian Brethren, we need them not, for we have a surer means of -consulting and discovering the will of God; and still it is by Urim -and Thummim if we alter only a single letter in one of those -mysterious words. Take your Bible, my brethren; <i>use him and thumb -him—use him and thumb him well</i>, and you will discover the will of -God as surely as ever the High Priest did by the stones in his breast -plate!”</p> - -<p>What Daniel saw of the Lazi, and what he heard of the Zani, prevented -him from ever forming a wish to educate his son for a North country -cure, which would have been all the preferment that lay within his -view. And yet if any person to whose judgement he deferred had -reminded him that Bishop Latimer had risen from as humble an origin, -it might have awakened in him a feeling of ambition for the boy, not -inconsistent with his own philosophy.</p> - -<p>But no suggestions could ever have induced Daniel to chuse for him the -profession of the Law. The very name of Lawyer was to him a word of -evil acceptation. Montaigne has a pleasant story of a little boy who -when his mother had lost a lawsuit which he had always heard her speak -of as a perpetual cause of trouble, ran up to him in great glee to -tell him of the loss as a matter for congratulation and joy; the poor -child thought it was like losing a cough, or any other bodily ailment. -Daniel entertained the same sort of opinion concerning all legal -proceedings. He knew that laws were necessary evils; but he thought -they were much greater evils than there was any necessity that they -should be; and believing this to be occasioned by those who were -engaged in the trade of administering them, he looked upon lawyers as -the greatest pests in the country—</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem85"> - <tr><td><small>Because, their end being merely avarice,<br> - Winds up their wits to such a nimble strain<br> - As helps to blind the Judge, not give him eyes.<small><sup>1</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>He had once been in the Courts at Lancaster, having been called upon -as witness in a civil suit, and the manner in which he was cross -examined there by one of those “young spruce Lawyers,” whom Donne has -so happily characterized as being</p> - -<center><small>———“all impudence and tongue”</small></center> - -<p>had confirmed him in this prejudice. What he saw of the proceedings -that day induced him to agree with Beaumont and Fletcher, that</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem86"> - <tr><td><small>Justice was a Cheese-monger, a mere cheese-monger,<br> - Weighed nothing to the world but mites and maggots<br> - And a main stink; Law, like a horse-courser,<br> - Her rules and precepts hung with gauds and ribbands,<br> - And pampered up to cozen him that bought her,<br> - When she herself was hackney, lame and founder'd.<small><sup>2</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>His was too simple and sincere an understanding to admire in any other -sense than that of wondering at them</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem87"> - <tr><td><small>Men of that large profession that can speak<br> - To every cause, and things mere contraries,<br> - Till they are hoarse again, yet all be law!<br> - That with most quick agility can turn<br> - And re-return; can make knots and undo them,<br> - Give forked counsel, take provoking gold<br> - On either hand, and put it up. These men<br> - He knew would thrive;—<small><sup>3</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>but far was he from wishing that a son of his should thrive by such a -perversion of his intellectual powers, and such a corruption of his -moral nature.</p> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> L<small>ORD</small> B<small>ROOKE</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>2</sup></small> W<small>OMAN</small> P<small>LEASED</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>3</sup></small> B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>On the other hand he felt a degree of respect amounting almost to -reverence for the healing art, which is connected with so many -mysteries of art and nature. And therefore when an opportunity offered -of placing his son with a respectable practitioner, who he had every -reason for believing would behave toward him with careful and prudent -kindness, his entire approbation was given to the youth's own choice.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect43"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXVIII. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>PETER HOPKINS. EFFECTS OF TIME AND CHANGE. DESCRIPTION OF HIS -DWELLING-HOUSE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem88"> - <tr><td><small><i>Combien de changemens depuis que suis au monde,<br> - Qui n'est qu' un point du tems!</i><br> - - - - -P<small>ASQUIER</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>Peter Hopkins was a person who might have suffered death by the laws -of Solon, if that code had been established in this country; for -though he lived in the reigns of George I. and George II. he was -neither Whig nor Tory, Hanoverian nor Jacobite. When he drank the -King's health with any of his neighbours, he never troubled himself -with considering which King was intended, nor to which side of the -water their good wishes were directed. Under George or Charles he -would have been the same quiet subject, never busying himself with a -thought about political matters, and having no other wish concerning -them than that they might remain as they were,—so far he was a -Hanoverian, and no farther. There was something of the same temper in -his religion; he was a sincere Christian, and had he been born to -attendance at the Mass or the Meeting House would have been equally -sincere in his attachment to either of those extremes. For his whole -mind was in his profession. He was learned in its history; fond of its -theories; and skilful in its practice, in which he trusted little to -theory and much to experience.</p> - -<p>Both he and his wife were at this time well stricken in years; they -had no children, and no near kindred on either side; and being both -kind-hearted people, the liking which they soon entertained toward -Daniel for his docility, his simplicity of heart, his obliging temper, -his original cast of mind, and his never failing good-humour, ripened -into a settled affection.</p> - -<p>Hopkins lived next door to the Mansion House, which edifice was begun -a few years after Daniel went to live with him. There is a view of the -Mansion House in Dr. Miller's History of Doncaster, and in that print -the dwelling in question is included. It had undergone no other -alteration at the time this view was taken than that of having had its -casements replaced by sash windows, an improvement which had been made -by our Doctor, when the frame work of the casements had become -incapable of repair. The gilt pestle and mortar also had been removed -from its place above the door. Internally the change had been greater; -for the same business not being continued there after the Doctor's -decease, the shop had been converted into a sitting room, and the very -odour of medicine had passed away. But I will not allow myself to -dwell upon this melancholy subject. The world is full of mutations; -and there is hardly any that does not bring with it some regret at the -time,—and alas, more in the retrospect! I have lived to see the -American Colonies separated from Great Britain, the Kingdom of Poland -extinguished, the republic of Venice destroyed, its territory seized -by one Usurper, delivered over in exchange to another, and the -transfer sanctioned and confirmed by all the Powers of Europe in -Congress assembled! I have seen Heaven knows how many little -Principalities and States, proud of their independance, and happy in -the privileges connected with it, swallowed up by the Austrian or the -Prussian Eagle, or thrown to the Belgic Lion, as his share in the -division of the spoils. I have seen constitutions spring up like -mushrooms and kicked down as easily. I have seen the rise and fall of -Napoleon.</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem89"> - <tr><td><small> I have seen Cedars fall<br> - And in their room a mushroom grow;<br> - I have seen Comets, threatening all,<br> - Vanish themselves;<small><sup>1</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>wherefore then should I lament over what time and mutability have done -to a private dwelling-house in Doncaster?</p> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> H<small>ABINGTON</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>It was an old house, which when it was built had been one of the best -in Doncaster; and even after the great improvements which have changed -the appearance of the town, had an air of antiquated respectability -about it. Had it been near the church it would have been taken for the -Vicarage; standing where it did, its physiognomy was such that you -might have guessed it was the Doctor's house, even if the pestle and -mortar had not been there as his insignia. There were eight windows -and two doors in front. It consisted of two stories, and was oddly -built, the middle part having, something in the Scotch manner, the -form of a gable end towards the street. Behind this was a single -chimney, tall, and shaped like a pillar. In windy nights the Doctor -was so often consulted by Mrs. Dove concerning the stability of that -chimney, that he accounted it the plague of his life. But it was one -of those evils which could not be removed without bringing on a worse, -the alternative being whether there should be a tall chimney, or a -smoky house. And after the mansion house was erected, there was one -wind which in spite of the chimney's elevation drove the smoke -down,—so inconvenient is it sometimes to be fixed near a great -neighbour.</p> - -<p>This unfortunate chimney, being in the middle of the house, served for -four apartments; the Doctor's study and his bedchamber on the upper -floor, the kitchen and the best parlour on the lower, that parlour, -yes Reader, that very parlour wherein, as thou canst not have -forgotten, Mrs. Dove was making tea for the Doctor on that ever -memorable afternoon with which our history begins.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect44"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXIX. P. I.</h4> - -<blockquote><small>A HINT OF REMINISCENCE TO THE READER. THE CLOCK OF ST. GEORGE'S. A -WORD IN HONOR OF ARCHDEACON MARKHAM.</small></blockquote> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> - -<blockquote><small>There is a ripe season for every thing, and if you slip that or -anticipate it, you dim the grace of the matter be it never so good. As -we say by way of Proverb that an hasty birth brings forth blind -whelps, so a good tale tumbled out before the time is ripe for it, is -ungrateful to the hearer.</small></blockquote> - -<div align="right"><small>B<small>ISHOP</small> H<small>ACKETT</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>The judicious reader will now have perceived that in the progress of -this narrative,—which may be truly said to</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem90"> - <tr><td><small> - - ——bear<br> - A music in the ordered history<br> - It lays before us,——</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>we have arrived at that point which determines the scene and acquaints -him with the local habitation of the Doctor. He will perceive also -that in our method of narration nothing has been inartificially -anticipated; that there have been no premature disclosures, no -precipitation, no hurry, or impatience on my part; and that on the -other hand there has been no unnecessary delay, but that we have -regularly and naturally come to this developement. The author who -undertakes a task like mine,</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem91"> - <tr><td><small> must nombre al the hole cyrcumstaunce<br> - Of hys matter with brevyacion,</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>as an old Poet says of the professors of the rhyming art, and must -moreover be careful</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem92"> - <tr><td><small>That he walke not by longe continuance<br> - The perambulate way,</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<p>as I have been, O Reader! and as it is my fixed intention still to be. -Thou knowest, gentle Reader, that I have never wearied thee with idle -and worthless words; thou knowest that the old comic writer spake -truly when he said, that the man who speaks little says too much, if -he says what is not to the point; but that he who speaks well and -wisely will never be accused of speaking at too great length,</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem93"> - <tr><td><small>Τὸν μὴ λέγοντα τῶν δεόντων μηδὲ ἓν<br> - Μακρὸν νόμιζε, κᾂν δύ᾿ εἴπῃ συλλαβάς.<br> - Τὸν δ᾿ εὗ λέγοντα, μὴ νόμιζ᾿ εἶναι μακρὸν,<br> - Μηδ᾿ ἂν σφόδρ᾿ εἴπῃ πολλὰ, και πολὺν χρόνον.<small><sup>1</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> P<small>HILEMON</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>My good Readers will remember that, as was duly noticed in our first -chapter P. I. the clock of St. George's had just struck five when Mrs. -Dove was pouring out the seventh cup of tea for her husband, and when -our history opens. I have some observations to make concerning both -the tea and the tea service, which will dear the Doctor from any -imputation of intemperance in his use of that most pleasant, -salutiferous and domesticizing beverage: but it would disturb the -method of my narration were they to be introduced in this place. Here -I have something to relate about the Clock. Some forty or fifty years -ago a Butcher being one of the Churchwardens of the year, and fancying -himself in that capacity invested with full power to alter and improve -any thing in or about the Church, thought proper to change the -position of the clock, and accordingly had it removed to the highest -part of the tower, immediately under the battlements. Much beautiful -Gothic work was cut away to make room for the three dials, which he -placed on three sides of this fine tower; and when he was asked what -had induced him thus doubly to disfigure the edifice, by misplacing -the dials, and destroying so much of the ornamental part, the great -and greasy killcow answered that by fixing the dials so high, he could -now stand at his own shop door and see what it was o'clock! That -convenience this arrant churchwarden had the satisfaction of enjoying -for several years, there being no authority that could call him to -account for the insolent mischief he had done. But Archdeacon Markham -(to his praise be it spoken) at the end of the last century prevailed -on the then churchwardens to remove two of the dials, and restore the -architectural ornaments which had been defaced.</p> - -<p>This was the clock which, with few intervals, measured out by hours -the life of Daniel Dove from the seventeenth year of his age, when he -first set up his rest within its sound.</p> - -<p>Perhaps of all the works of man sun-dials and church-clocks are those -which have conveyed most feeling to the human heart; the clock more -than the sun-dial because it speaks to the ear as well as to the eye, -and by night as well as by day. Our forefathers understood this, and -therefore they not only gave a Tongue to Time, but provided that he -should speak often to us and remind us that the hours are passing. -Their quarter-boys and their chimes were designed for this moral -purpose as much as the memento which is so commonly seen upon an old -clock-face,—and so seldom upon a new one. I never hear chimes that -they do not remind me of those which were formerly the first sounds I -heard in the morning, which used to quicken my step on my way to -school, and which announced my release from it, when the same tune -methought had always a merrier import. When I remember their tones, -life seems to me like a dream, and a train of recollections arises, -which if it were allowed to have its course would end in tears.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect45"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXX. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>THE OLD BELLS RUNG TO A NEW TUNE.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<center><small>If the bell have any sides the clapper will find 'em.</small></center> -<br> -<div align="right"><small>B<small>EN</small> J<small>ONSON</small>. - </small></div> - -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>That same St. George's Church has a peal of eight tunable bells, in -the key of E. b. the first bell weighing seven hundred, one quarter -and fourteen pounds.</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem94"> - <tr><td><small><i>Tra tutte quante le musiche humane,<br> - O Signor mio gentil, tra le più care<br> - Gioje del mondo, è 'l suon delle campane;<br> - Don don don don don don, che ve ne pare?</i><small><sup>1</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> A<small>GNOLO</small> F<small>IRENZUOLA</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>They were not christened, because they were not Roman Catholic bells; -for in Roman Catholic countries church bells are christened with the -intention of causing them to be held in greater reverence,—</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem95"> - <tr><td><small><i> —però ordinò n'un consistoro<br> - Un certo di quei buon papi all' antica,<br> - Che non ci lavoravan di straforo,<br> - Che la campana si, si benedica,<br> - Poi si battezzi, e se le ponga il nome,<br> - Prima che' in campanil l' ufizio dica.<br> - Gli organi, ch' anco lor san sì ben come<br> - Si dica il vespro, e le messe cantate,<br> - Non hanno questo honor sopra le chiome.<br> - Che le lor canne non son battezzate,<br> - Ne' nome ha l' una Pier, l' altra Maria<br> - Come hanno le campane prelibate.</i><small><sup>2</sup></small></small></td></tr> -</table> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>2</sup></small> A<small>GNOLO</small> F<small>IRENZUOLA</small>.</small></blockquote> - -<p>The bells of St. George's, Doncaster, I say, were not christened, -because they were Protestant bells; for distinction's sake however we -will name them as the bells stand in the dirge of that unfortunate Cat -whom Johnny Green threw into the well.</p> - -<p>But it will be better to exhibit their relative weights in figures, so -that they may be seen synoptically. Thus then;—</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" summary="weight of bells"> - <tr> - <td><small> </small></td> - <td><small> Cwt.</small></td> - <td><small> qr.</small></td> - <td><small> lb.</small></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bim the first</td> - <td align="right">7 </td> - <td align="right">1 </td> - <td align="right">14</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bim the second </td> - <td align="right">8 </td> - <td align="right">0 </td> - <td align="right">18</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bim the third</td> - <td align="right">8 </td> - <td align="right">2 </td> - <td align="right">6</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bim the fourth</td> - <td align="right">10 </td> - <td align="right">3 </td> - <td align="right">15</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bim the fifth</td> - <td align="right">13 </td> - <td align="right">1 </td> - <td align="right">0</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bim the sixth</td> - <td align="right">15 </td> - <td align="right">2 </td> - <td align="right">16</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bom</td> - <td align="right">22 </td> - <td align="right">1 </td> - <td align="right">0</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bell</td> - <td align="right">29 </td> - <td align="right">1 </td> - <td align="right">20</td> - </tr> -</table> - -<p>I cannot but admit that these appellations not so stately in -appearance as those of the peal which the Bishop of Chalons recently -baptized, and called a “happy and holy family” in the edifying -discourse that he delivered upon the occasion. The first of these was -called Marie, to which—or to whom,—the Duke and Duchess of -Danderville (so the newspapers give this name) stood sponsors. “It is -you Marie,” said the Bishop, “who will have the honor to announce the -festivals, and proclaim the glory of the Lord! You appear among us -under the most happy auspices, presented by those respectable and -illustrious hands to which the practices of piety have been so long -familiar. And you Anne,” he pursued, addressing the second bell,—“an -object worthy of the zeal and piety of our first magistrate (the -Prefect) and of her who so nobly shares his solicitude,—you shall be -charged with the same employment. Your voice shall be joined to -Marie's upon important occasions. Ah! what touching lessons will you -not give in imitation of her whose name you bear, and whom we -reverence as the purest of Virgins! You also Deodate, will take part -in this concert, you whom an angel, a new-born infant, has conjointly -with me consecrated to the Lord! Speak Deodate! and let us hear your -marvellous accents.” This Angel and Godmother in whose name the third -bell was given was Mademoiselle Deodate Boisset, then in the second -month of her age, daughter of Viscount Boisset. “And you Stephanie, -crowned with glory,” continued the orator, in learned allusion to the -Greek word <i>σεφανος</i>, “you are not less worthy to mingle your -accents with the melody of your sisters. And you lastly Seraphine and -Pudentienne, you will raise your voices in this touching concert, -happy all of you in having been presented to the benedictions of the -Church, by these noble and generous souls, so praiseworthy for the -liveliness of their faith, and the holiness of their example.” And -then the Bishop concluded by calling upon the congregation to join -with him in prayer that the Almighty would be pleased to preserve from -all accidents this “happy and holy family of the bells.”</p> - -<p>We have no such sermons from our Bishops! The whole ceremony must have -been as useful to the bells as it was edifying to the people.</p> - -<p>Were I called upon to act as sponsor upon such an occasion, I would -name my bell Peter Bell in honour of Mr. Wordsworth. There has been a -bull so called, and a bull it was of great merit. But if it were the -great bell, then it should be called Andrew, in honour of Dr. Bell; -and that bell should call the children to school.</p> - -<p>There are, I believe, only two bells in England which are known by -their Christian names, and they are both called Tom; but Great Tom of -Oxford which happens to be much the smaller of the two was christened -in the feminine gender, being called Mary, in the spirit of catholic -and courtly adulation at the commencement of the bloody Queen's reign. -Tresham the Vicechancellor performed the ceremony, and his exclamation -when it first summoned him to mass has been recorded:—“O delicate and -sweet harmony! O beautiful Mary! how musically she sounds! how -strangely she pleaseth my ear!”</p> - -<p>In spite of this christening, the object of Dr. Tresham's admiration -is as decidedly a Tom-Bell, as the Puss in Boots who appeared at a -Masquerade (Theodore Hook remembers when and where) was a Tom Cat. -Often as the said Tom-Bell has been mentioned, there is but one other -anecdote recorded of him; it occurred on Thursday the thirteenth day -of March 1806, and was thus described in a letter written two hours -after the event:—“An odd thing happened to-day about half past four, -Tom suddenly went mad; he began striking as fast as he could about -twenty times. Every body went out doubting whether there was an -earthquake, or whether the Dean was dead, or the College on fire. -However nothing was the matter but that Tom was taken ill in his -bowels: in other words something had happened to the works, but it was -not of any serious consequence, for he has struck six as well as ever, -and bids fair to toll 101 to-night as well as he did before the -attack.”</p> - -<p>This was written by a youth of great natural endowments, rare -acquirements, playful temper, and affectionate heart. If his days had -been prolonged, his happy industry, his inoffensive wit, his sound -judgement and his moral worth, favoured as they were by all favourable -circumstances, must have raised him to distinction, and the name of -Barrè Roberts which is now known only in the little circle of his own -and his father's friends, would have had its place with those who have -deserved well of their kind and reflected honor upon their country.</p> - -<p>But I return to a subject, which would have interested him in his -antiquarian pursuits,—for he loved to wander among the Ruins of Time. -We will return therefore to that ceremony of christening Church Bells, -which with other practices of the Holy Roman Catholic and Apostolic -Church, has been revived in France.</p> - -<p>Bells, say those Theologians in <i>issimi</i> who have gravely written upon -this grave matter, Bells, say they, are not actually baptized with -that baptism which is administered for the remission of sins; but they -are said to be christened because the same ceremonies which are -observed in christening children, are also observed in consecrating -them, such as the washing, the anointing and the imposing a name; all -which however may more strictly be said to represent the signs and -symbols of baptism, than they may be called baptism itself.—</p> - -<p>Nothing can be more candid! Bells are not baptized for the remission -of sins, because the original sin of a bell would be a flaw in the -metal, or a defect in the tone, neither of which the Priest undertakes -to remove. There was however a previous ceremony of blessing the -furnace when the bells were cast within the precincts of a monastery, -as they most frequently were in former times, and this may have been -intended for the prevention of such defects. The Brethren stood round -the furnace ranged in processional order, sang the 150th Psalm, and -then after certain prayers blessed the molten metal, and called upon -the Lord to infuse into it his grace and overshadow it with his power, -for the honor of the Saint, to whom the bell was to be dedicated and -whose name it was to bear.</p> - -<p>When the time of christening came, the officiating Priest and his -assistant named every bell five times, as a sort of prelude, for some -unexplained reason which may perhaps be as significant and mystical as -the other parts of the ceremony. He then blessed the water in two -vessels which were prepared for the service. Dipping a clean linen -cloth in one of these vessels he washed the bell within and without, -the bell being suspended over a vessel wider in circumference than the -bell's mouth, in order that no drop of the water employed in this -washing might fall to the ground; for the water was holy. Certain -psalms were said or sung (they were the 96th and the four last in the -psalter;) during this part of the ceremony and while the officiating -Priest prepared the water in the second vessel: this he did by -sprinkling salt in it, and putting holy oil upon it, either with his -thumb, or with a stick; if the thumb were used, it was to be cleaned -immediately by rubbing it well with salt over the same water. Then he -dipt another clean cloth in this oiled and salted water, and again -washed the bell, within and without: after the service the cloths were -burnt lest they should be profaned by other uses. The bell was then -authentically named. Then it was anointed with chrism in the form of a -cross four times on the broadest part of the outside, thrice on the -smaller part, and four times on the inside, those parts being anointed -with most care against which the clapper was to strike. After this the -name was again given. Myrrh and frankincense were then brought, the -bell was incensed while part of a psalm was recited and the bell was -authentically named a third time; after which the priest carefully -wiped the chrism from the bell with tow, and the tow was immediately -burnt in the censer. Next the Priest struck each bell thrice with its -clapper, and named it again at every stroke; every one of the -assistants in like manner struck it and named it once. The bells were -then carefully covered each with a cloth and immediately hoisted that -they might not be contaminated by any irreverent touch. The Priest -concluded by explaining to the congregation, if he thought proper, the -reason for this ceremony of christening the bells, which was that they -might act as preservatives against thunder and lightning, and hail and -wind, and storms of every kind, and moreover that they might drive -away evil Spirits. To these and their other virtues the Bishop of -Chalons alluded in his late truly Gallican and Roman Catholic -discourse. “The Bells,” said he, “placed like centinels on the towers, -watch over us and turn away from us the temptations of the enemy of -our salvation, as well as storms and tempests. They speak and pray for -us in our troubles; they inform heaven of the necessities of the -earth.”</p> - -<p>Now were this edifying part of the Roman Catholic ritual to be -re-introduced in the British dominions,—as it very possibly may be -now that Lord Peter has appeared in his robes before the King, and -been introduced by his title,—the opportunity would no doubt be taken -by the Bishop or Jesuit who might direct the proceedings, of -complimenting the friends of their cause by naming the first “holy and -happy family” after them. And to commemorate the extraordinary union -of sentiment which that cause has brought about between persons not -otherwise remarkable for any similitude of feelings or opinions, they -might unite two or more names in one bell, (as is frequently done in -the human subject,) and thus with a peculiar felicity of compliment, -shew who and who upon this great and memorable occasion have <i>pulled -together</i>. In such a case the names selected for a peal of eight -tunable bells might run thus</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" summary="names of bells"> - <tr> - <td>Bim 1st.</td> - <td align="center"> — </td> - <td>Canning O'Connel.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bim 2d.</td> - <td align="center"> — </td> - <td>Plunkett Shiel.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bim 3d.</td> - <td align="center"> — </td> - <td>Augustus Frederick Cobbett.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bim 4th.</td> - <td align="center"> — </td> - <td>Williams Wynn Burdett Waithman.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bim 5th.</td> - <td align="center"> — </td> - <td>Grenville Wood.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bim 6th.</td> - <td align="center"> — </td> - <td>Palmerston Hume.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bom</td> - <td align="center"> — </td> - <td>Lawless Brougham.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td>Bell</td> - <td align="center"> — </td> - <td>Lord King, <i>per se;</i>—</td> - </tr> -</table> - -<p>—alone <i>par excellence</i>, as the thickest and thinnest friend of the -cause, and moreover because</p> - -<center><small>None but himself can be his parallel;</small></center> - -<p>and last in order because the base note accords best with him; and -because for the decorum and dignity with which he has at all times -treated the Bishops, the clergy and the subject of religion, he must -be allowed to bear the bell not from his compeers alone but from all -his contemporaries.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect46"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXXI. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>MORE CONCERNING BELLS.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem96"> - <tr><td><small>Lord, ringing changes all our bells hath marr'd;<br> - - Jangled they have and jarr'd<br> - So long, they're out of tune, and out of frame;<br> - - They seem not now the same.<br> - Put them in frame anew, and once begin<br> - To tune them so, that they may chime all in.<br> - - - - -H<small>ERBERT</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>There are more mysteries in a peal of bells than were touched upon by -the Bishop of Chalons in his sermon. There are plain bob-triples, -bob-majors, bob-majors reversed, double bob-majors, and -grandsire-bob-cators, and there is a Bob-maximus. Who Bob was, and -whether he were Bob Major, or Major Bob, that is whether Major were -his name or his rank, and if his rank, to what service he belonged, -are questions which inexorable Oblivion will not answer, however -earnestly adjured. And there is no Witch of Endor who will call up Bob -from the grave to answer them himself. But there are facts in the -history of bell-ringing which Oblivion has not yet made her own, and -one of them is that the greatest performance ever completed by one -person in the world, was that of Mr. Samuel Thurston at the New -Theatre Public House in the City of Norwich, on Saturday evening, July -1, 1809, when he struck all these intricate short peals, the first -four upon a set of eight musical hand bells, the last on a peal of ten.</p> - -<p>But a performance upon hand-bells when compared to bell-ringing is -even less than a review in comparison with a battle. Strength of arm -as well as skill is required for managing a bell-rope. Samuel -Thurston's peal of plain bob-triples was “nobly brought round” in two -minutes and three quarters, and his grandsire-bob-cators were as nobly -finished in five minutes and fourteen seconds. The reader shall now -see what real bell-ringing is.</p> - -<p>The year 1796 was remarkable for the performance of great exploits in -this manly and English art,—for to England the art is said to be -peculiar, the cheerful carrillons of the continent being played by -keys. In that year, and in the month of August the Westmorland youths -rang a complete peal of 5040 grandsire triples, in St. Mary's Church -Kendal, being the whole number of changes on seven bells. The peal was -divided into ten parts, or courses of 504 each; the bobs were called -by the sixth, a lead single was made in the middle of the peal, and -another at the conclusion which brought the bells home. Distinct leads -and exact divisions were observed throughout the whole, and the -performance was completed in three hours and twenty minutes. A like -performance took place in the same month at Kidderminster in three -hours and fourteen minutes. Stephen Hill composed and called the peal, -it was conducted through with one single, which was brought to the -4984th change, viz. 1267453. This was allowed by those who were -conversant in the art to exceed any peal ever yet rung in this kingdom -by that method.</p> - -<p><i>Paulo majora canamus</i>. The Society of Cambridge youths that same year -rang in the Church of St. Mary the Great, a true and complete peal of -Bob maximus, in five hours and five minutes. This consisted of 6600 -changes, and for regularity of striking and harmony throughout the -peal was allowed by competent judges to be a very masterly -performance. In point of time the striking was to such a nicety that -in each thousand changes the time did not vary one sixteenth of a -minute, and the compass of the last thousand was exactly equal to the first.</p> - -<p>Eight Birmingham youths (some of them were under twenty years of age) -attempted a greater exploit, they ventured upon a complete peal of -15120 bob major. They failed indeed, <i>magnis tamen ausis</i>. For after -they had rang upwards of eight hours and a half, they found themselves -so much fatigued that they desired the caller would take the first -opportunity to bring the bells home. This he soon did by omitting a -bob and so brought them round thus making a peal of 14224 changes in -eight hours and forty-five minutes, the longest which was ever rung in -that part of the country, or perhaps any where else.</p> - -<p>In that same year died Mr. Patrick the celebrated composer of -church-bell-music, and senior of the Society of Cumberland Youths,—an -Hibernian sort of distinction for one in middle or later life. He is -the same person whose name was well known in the scientific world as a -maker of barometers; and he it was who composed the whole peal of -Stedman's triples, 5040 changes, (which his obituarist says had till -then been deemed impracticable, and for the discovery of which he -received a premium of 50<i>l.</i> offered for that purpose by the Norwich -amateurs of the art) “his productions of real double and treble bob -royal being a standing monument of his unparalleled and superlative -merits.” This Mr. Patrick was interred on the afternoon of Sunday, -June 26, in the church-yard of St. Leonard, Shoreditch; the corpse was -followed to the grave by all the Ringing Societies in London and its -environs, each sounding hand bells with muffled clappers, the church -bells at the same time ringing a dead peal;</p> - -<center><small> ̔Ως οἵγ̕ ἀμφἰεπον τάφον Πατρἰκος βοϐϐοδάμοιο.</small></center> - -<p>James Ogden was interred with honours of the same kind at Ashton under -Line, in the year of this present writing, 1827. His remains were -borne to the grave by the ringers of St. Michael's Tower in that town, -with whom he had rung the tenor bell for more than fifty years, and -with whom he performed “the unprecedented feat” of ringing five -thousand on that bell (which weighed 28 cwt.) in his sixty-seventh -year. After the funeral his old companions rang a dead peal for him of -828 changes, that being the number of the months of his life. Such in -England are the funeral honors of the Βελτιϛοι.</p> - -<p>It would take 91 years to ring the changes upon twelve bells, at the -rate of two strokes to a second; the changes upon fourteen could not -be rung through at the same rate in less than 16575 years; and upon -four and twenty they would require more than 117,000 billions of years.</p> - -<p>Great then are the mysteries of bell-ringing! And this may be said in -its praise, that of all devices which men have sought out for -obtaining distinction by making a noise in the world, it is the most -harmless.</p> -<br> -<br> -<br><a name="sect47"></a> -<br> -<h4>CHAPTER XXXII. P. I.</h4> - -<center><small>AN INTRODUCTION TO CERTAIN PRELIMINARIES ESSENTIAL TO THE PROGRESS OF -THIS WORK.</small></center> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem97"> - <tr><td><small><i>Mas demos ya el assiento en lo importante,<br> - Que el tiempo huye del mundo por la posta.</i><br> - - - - -B<small>ALBUENA</small>.</small></td></tr> -</table> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="50"> -<br> - -<p>The subject of these memoirs heard the bells of St. George's ring for -the battles of Dettingen and Culloden; for Commodore Anson's return -and Admiral Hawke's victory; for the conquest of Quebec; for other -victories, important in their day, though in the retrospect they may -seem to have produced little effect; and for more than one Peace; for -the going out of the Old Style, and for the coming in of the New; for -the accession, marriage and coronation of George the 3d; for the birth -of George the 4th; and that of all his royal brethren and -sisters;—and what was to him a subject of nearer and dearer interest -than any of these events,—for his own wedding.</p> - -<p>What said those bells to him that happy day? for that bells can convey -articulate sounds to those who have the gift of interpreting their -language, Whittington Lord Mayor of London Town knew by fortunate -experience.</p> - -<p>So did a certain Father Confessor in the Netherlands whom a buxom -widow consulted upon the perilous question whether she should marry a -second husband, or continue in widowed blessedness. The prudent Priest -deemed it too delicate a point for him to decide; so he directed her -to attend to the bells of her church when next they chimed—(they were -but three in number)—and bring him word what she thought they said; -and he exhorted her to pray in the mean time earnestly for grace to -understand them rightly, and in the sense that might be most for her -welfare here and hereafter, as he on his part would pray for her.—She -listened with mouth and ears, the first time that the bells struck up; -and the more she listened, the more plainly they said “<i>Nempt een man, -Nempt een man!</i>—Take a Spouse, Take a Spouse!” “Aye Daughter!” said -the Confessor, when she returned to him with her report, “If the bells -have said so, so say I; and not I alone, but the Apostle also, and the -Spirit who through that Apostle hath told us when it is best for us to -marry!” Reader thou mayest thank the Leonine poet Gummarus Van Craen -for this good story.</p> - -<p>What said the Bells of Doncaster to our dear Doctor on that happy -morning which made him a whole man by uniting to him the rib that he -till then had wanted? They said to him as distinctly as they spoke to -Whittington, and to the Flemish Widow,</p> - -<table align="center" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="poem98"> - <tr><td><small>Daniel Dove brings Deborah home.<br> - Daniel Dove brings Deborah home.</small></td></tr> -</table> - -<center><img src="images/03.jpg" alt="logo"></center> - -<p>But whither am I hurrying? It was not till the year 1761 that that -happy union was effected; and the fourteen years whose course of -events I have reluctantly, yet of necessity, pretermitted, bring us -only to 1748 in which year the Peace of Aix-la-Chapelle was made. -Peter Hopkins and Mrs. Hopkins were then both living, and Daniel had -not attained to the honors of his diploma. Before we come to the day -on which the bells rung that joyful peal, I must enter into some -details for the purpose of shewing how he became qualified for his -degree, and how he was enabled to take it; and it will be necessary -therefore to say something of the opportunities of instruction which -he enjoyed under Hopkins, and of the state of society in Doncaster at -that time. And preliminary to, as preparatory for all this, some -account is to be given of Doncaster itself.</p> - -<p>Reader, you may skip this preliminary account if you please, but it -will be to your loss if you do! You perhaps may be one of those -persons who can travel from Dan to Beersheba, and neither make enquiry -concerning, nor take notice of, any thing on the way; but, thank -Heaven, I cannot pass through Doncaster in any such mood of mind. If -however thou belongest to a better class, then may I promise that in -what is here to follow, thou wilt find something to recompense thee -for the little time thou wilt employ in reading it, were that time -more than it will be, or more valuable than it is. For I shall -assuredly either tell thee of something which thou didst not know -before; (and let me observe by the bye that I never obtained any -information of any kind, which did not on some occasion or other prove -available;)—or I shall waken up to pleasurable consciousness thy -napping knowledge. Snuff the candles therefore, if it be candle-light, -and they require it; (I hope, for thine eyes' sake, thou art not -reading by a lamp!)—stir the fire, if it be winter, and it be prudent -to refresh it with the poker; and then comfortably begin a new -chapter:</p> - -<center><small><i>Faciam ut hujus loci semper memineris.</i><small><sup>1</sup></small></small></center> - -<blockquote><small><small><sup>1</sup></small> T<small>ERENCE</small>.</small></blockquote> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<center><small>END OF VOL. I.</small></center> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<br> -<hr align="center" width="200"> -<center><small>W. Nicol, Cleveland-row, St. James's.</small></center> -<br> -<div lang='en' xml:lang='en'> -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK <span lang='' xml:lang=''>THE DOCTOR, &C., VOL. 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