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diff --git a/old/6923-8.txt b/old/6923-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9f6ed17 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/6923-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3741 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Miser (L'Avare), by Molière, Translated +by Charles Heron Wall + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Miser (L'Avare) + + +Author: Molière + + + +Release Date: February 11, 2003 [eBook #6923] +Most recently updated: January 6, 2009 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MISER (L'AVARE)*** + + +E-text prepared by Delphine Lettau and the Project Gutenberg Online +Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net) + + + +THE MISER. (L'AVARE.) + +by + +MOLIÈRE + +Translated into English Prose + +With a Short Introduction and Explanatory Notes. + +by + +CHARLES HERON WALL + + + + + + + +This play was acted for the first time on September 9, 1668. In it, +Molière has borrowed from Plautus, and has imitated several other +authors, but he far surpasses them in the treatment of his subject. +The picture of the miser, in whom love of money takes the place of all +natural affections, who not only withdraws from family intercourse, +but considers his children as natural enemies, is finely drawn, and +renders Molière's Miser altogether more dramatic and moral than those +of his predecessors. + +Molière acted the part of Harpagon. + + + + +PERSONS REPRESENTED. + + +HARPAGON, _father to_ CLÉANTE, _in love with_ MARIANNE. +CLÉANTE, HARPAGON'S _son, lover to_ MARIANNE. +VALÈRE, _son to_ ANSELME, _and lover to_ ÉLISE. +ANSELME, _father to_ VALÈRE _and_ MARIANNE. +MASTER SIMON, _broker_. +MASTER JACQUES, _cook and coachman to_ HARPAGON. +LA FLÈCHE, _valet to_ CLÉANTE. +BRINDAVOINE _and_ LA MERLUCHE, _lackeys to_ HARPAGON. +A MAGISTRATE _and his_ CLERK. +ÉLISE, _daughter to_ HARPAGON. +MARIANNE, _daughter to_ ANSELME. +FROSINE, _an intriguing woman_. +MISTRESS CLAUDE, _servant to_ HARPAGON. + + * * * * * + +_The scene is at_ PARIS, _in_ HARPAGON'S _house_. + + + + +THE MISER. + + + +ACT I. + +SCENE I.--VALÈRE, ÉLISE. + + +VAL. What, dear Élise! you grow sad after having given me such dear +tokens of your love; and I see you sigh in the midst of my joy! Can +you regret having made me happy? and do you repent of the engagement +which my love has forced from you? + +ELI. No, Valère, I do not regret what I do for you; I feel carried on +by too delightful a power, and I do not even wish that things should +be otherwise than they are. Yet, to tell you the truth, I am very +anxious about the consequences; and I greatly fear that I love you +more than I should. + +VAL. What can you possibly fear from the affection you have shown me? + +ELI. Everything; the anger of my father, the reproaches of my family, +the censure of the world, and, above all, Valère, a change in your +heart! I fear that cruel coldness with which your sex so often repays +the too warm proofs of an innocent love. + +VAL. Alas! do not wrong me thus; do not judge of me by others. Think +me capable of everything, Élise, except of falling short of what I owe +to you. I love you too much for that; and my love will be as lasting +as my life! + +ELI. Ah! Valère, all men say the same thing; all men are alike in +their words; their actions only show the difference that exists +between them. + +VAL. Then why not wait for actions, if by them alone you can judge of +the truthfulness of my heart? Do not suffer your anxious fears to +mislead you, and to wrong me. Do not let an unjust suspicion destroy +the happiness which is to me dearer than life; but give me time to +show you by a thousand proofs the sincerity of my affection. + +ELI. Alas! how easily do we allow ourselves to be persuaded by those +we love. I believe you, Valère; I feel sure that your heart is utterly +incapable of deceiving me, that your love is sincere, and that you +will ever remain faithful to me. I will no longer doubt that happiness +is near. If I grieve, it will only be over the difficulties of our +position, and the possible censures of the world. + +VAL. But why even this fear? + +ELI. Oh, Valère! if everybody knew you as I do, I should not have much +to fear. I find in you enough to justify all I do for you; my heart +knows all your merit, and feels, moreover, bound to you by deep +gratitude. How can I forget that horrible moment when we met for the +first time? Your generous courage in risking your own life to save +mine from the fury of the waves; your tender care afterwards; your +constant attentions and your ardent love, which neither time nor +difficulties can lessen! For me you neglect your parents and your +country; you give up your own position in life to be a servant of my +father! How can I resist the influence that all this has over me? Is +it not enough to justify in my eyes my engagement to you? Yet, who +knows if it will be enough to justify it in the eyes of others? and +how can I feel sure that my motives will be understood? + +VAL. You try in vain to find merit in what I have done; it is by my +love alone that I trust to deserve you. As for the scruples you feel, +your father himself justifies you but too much before the world; and +his avarice and the distant way in which he lives with his children +might authorise stranger things still. Forgive me, my dear Élise, for +speaking thus of your father before you; but you know that, +unfortunately, on this subject no good can be said of him. However, if +I can find my parents, as I fully hope I shall, they will soon be +favourable to us. I am expecting news of them with great impatience; +but if none comes I will go in search of them myself. + +ELI. Oh no! Valère, do not leave me, I entreat you. Try rather to +ingratiate yourself in my father's favour. + +VAL. You know how much I wish it, and you can see how I set about it. +You know the skilful manoeuvres I have had to use in order to +introduce myself into his service; under what a mask of sympathy and +conformity of tastes I disguise my own feelings to please him; and +what a part I play to acquire his affection. I succeed wonderfully +well, and I feel that to obtain favour with men, there are no better +means than to pretend to be of their way of thinking, to fall in with +their maxims, to praise their defects, and to applaud all their +doings. One need not fear to overdo it, for however gross the +flattery, the most cunning are easily duped; there is nothing so +impertinent or ridiculous which they will not believe, provided it be +well seasoned with praise. Honesty suffers, I acknowledge; but when we +have need of men, we may be allowed without blame to adapt ourselves +to their mode of thought; and if we have no other hope of success but +through such stratagem, it is not after all the fault of those who +flatter, but the fault of those who wish to be flattered. + +ELI. Why do you not try also to gain my brother's goodwill, in case +the servant should betray our secret? + +VAL. I am afraid I cannot humour them both. The temper of the father +is so different from that of the son that it would be difficult to be +the confidant of both at the same time. Rather try your brother +yourself; make use of the love that exists between you to enlist him +in our cause. I leave you, for I see him coming. Speak to him, sound +him, and see how far we can trust him. + +ELI. I greatly fear I shall never have the courage to speak to him of +my secret. + + +SCENE II.--CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, + +CLE. I am very glad to find you alone, sister. I longed to speak to +you and to tell you a secret. + +ELI. I am quite ready to hear you, brother. What is it you have to +tell me? + +CLE. Many things, sister, summed up in one word--love. + +ELI. You love? + +CLE. Yes, I love. But, before I say more, let me tell you that I know +I depend on my father, and that the name of son subjects me to his +will; that it would be wrong to engage ourselves without the consent +of the authors of our being; that heaven has made them the masters of +our affections, and that it is our duty not to dispose of ourselves +but in accordance to their wish; that their judgment is not biassed by +their being in love themselves; that they are, therefore, much more +likely not to be deceived by appearances, and to judge better what is +good for us; that we ought to trust their experience rather than the +passion which blinds us; and that the rashness of youth often carries +us to the very brink of dangerous abysses. I know all this, my sister, +and I tell it you to spare you the trouble of saying it to me, for my +love will not let me listen to anything, and I pray you to spare me +your remonstrances. + +ELI. Have you engaged yourself, brother, to her you love? + +CLE. No, but I have determined to do so; and I beseech you once more +not to bring forward any reason to dissuade me from it. + +ELI. Am I such a very strange person, brother? + +CLE. No, dear sister; but you do not love. You know not the sweet +power that love has upon our hearts; and I dread your wisdom. + +ELI. Alas! my brother, let us not speak of my wisdom. There are very +few people in this world who do not lack wisdom, were it only once in +their lifetime; and if I opened my heart to you, perhaps you would +think me less wise than you are yourself. + +CLE. Ah! would to heaven that your heart, like mine ... + +ELI. Let us speak of you first, and tell me whom it is you love. + +CLE. A young girl who has lately come to live in our neighbourhood, +and who seems made to inspire love in all those who behold her. +Nature, my dear sister, has made nothing more lovely; and I felt +another man the moment I saw her. Her name is Marianne, and she lives +with a good, kind mother, who is almost always ill, and for whom the +dear girl shows the greatest affection. She waits upon her, pities and +comforts her with a tenderness that would touch you to the very soul. +Whatever she undertakes is done in the most charming way; and in all +her actions shine a wonderful grace, a most winning gentleness, an +adorable modesty, a ... ah! my sister, how I wish you had but seen +her. + +ELI. I see many things in what you tell me, dear brother; and it is +sufficient for me to know that you love her for me to understand what +she is. + +CLE. I have discovered, without their knowing it, that they are not in +very good circumstances, and that, although they live with the +greatest care, they have barely enough to cover their expenses. Can +you imagine, my sister, what happiness it must be to improve the +condition of those we love; skilfully to bring about some relief to +the modest wants of a virtuous family? And think what grief it is for +me to find myself deprived of this great joy through the avarice of a +father, and for it to be impossible for me to give any proof of my +love to her who is all in all to me. + +ELI. Yes, I understand, dear brother, what sorrow this must be to you. + +CLE. It is greater, my sister, than you can believe. For is there +anything more cruel than this mean economy to which we are subjected? +this strange penury in which we are made to pine? What good will it do +us to have a fortune if it only comes to us when we are not able to +enjoy it; if now to provide for my daily maintenance I get into debt +on every side; if both you and I are reduced daily to beg the help of +tradespeople in order to have decent clothes to wear? In short, I +wanted to speak to you that you might help me to sound my father +concerning my present feelings; and if I find him opposed to them, I +am determined to go and live elsewhere with this most charming girl, +and to make the best of what Providence offers us. I am trying +everywhere to raise money for this purpose; and if your circumstances, +dear sister, are like mine, and our father opposes us, let us both +leave him, and free ourselves from the tyranny in which his hateful +avarice has for so long held us. + +ELI. It is but too true that every day he gives us more and more +reason to regret the death of our mother, and that ... + +CLE. I hear his voice. Let us go a little farther and finish our talk. +We will afterwards join our forces to make a common attack on his hard +and unkind heart. + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, LA FLÈCHE. + +HAR. Get out of here, this moment; and let me have no more of your +prating. Now then, be gone out of my house, you sworn pickpocket, you +veritable gallows' bird. + +LA FL. (_aside_). I never saw anything more wicked than this +cursed old man; and I truly believe, if I may be allowed to say so, +that he is possessed with a devil. + +HAR. What are you muttering there between your teeth? + +LA FL. Why do you send me away? + +HAR. You dare to ask me my reasons, you scoundrel? Out with you, this +moment, before I give you a good thrashing. + +LA FL. What have I done to you? + +HAR. Done this, that I wish you to be off. + +LA FL. My master, your son, gave me orders to wait for him. + +HAR. Go and wait for him in the street, then; out with you; don't stay +in my house, straight and stiff as a sentry, to observe what is going +on, and to make your profit of everything. I won't always have before +me a spy on all my affairs; a treacherous scamp, whose cursed eyes +watch all my actions, covet all I possess, and ferret about in every +corner to see if there is anything to steal. + +LA FL. How the deuce could one steal anything from you? Are you a man +likely to be robbed when you put every possible thing under lock and +key, and mount guard day and night? + +HAR. I will lock up whatever I think fit, and mount guard when and +where I please. Did you ever see such spies as are set upon me to take +note of everything I do? (_Aside_) I tremble for fear he should +suspect something of my money. (_Aloud_) Now, aren't you a fellow +to give rise to stories about my having money hid in my house? + +LA FL. You have some money hid in your house? + +HAR. No, scoundrel! I do not say that. (_Aside_) I am furious! +(_Aloud_) I only ask if out of mischief you do not spread abroad +the report that I have some? + +LA FL. Oh! What does it matter whether you have money, or whether you +have not, since it is all the same to us? + +HAR. (_raising his hand to give_ LA FLÈCHE _a blow_). Oh! oh! You +want to argue, do you? I will give you, and quickly too, some few of +these arguments about your ears. Get out of the house, I tell you once +more. + +LA FL. Very well; very well. I am going. + +HAR. No, wait; are you carrying anything away with you? + +LA FL. What can I possibly carry away? + +HAR. Come here, and let me see. Show me your hands. + +LA FL. There they are. + +HAR. The others. + +LA FL. The others? + +HAR. Yes. + +LA FL. There they are. + +HAR. (_pointing to_ LA FLÈCHE'S _breeches_). Have you anything hid +in here? + +LA FL. Look for yourself. + +HAR. (_feeling the knees of the breeches_). These wide knee-breeches +are convenient receptacles of stolen goods; and I wish a pair of them +had been hanged. + +LA FL. (_aside_). Ah! how richly such a man deserves what he fears, +and what joy it would be to me to steal some of his ... + +HAR. Eh? + +LA FL. What? + +HAR. What is it you talk of stealing? + +LA FL. I say that you feel about everywhere to see if I have been +stealing anything. + +HAR. And I mean to do so too. (_He feels in_ LA FLÈCHE'S _pockets_). + +LA FL. Plague take all misers and all miserly ways! + +HAR. Eh? What do you say? + +LA FL. What do I say? + +HAR. Yes. What is it you say about misers and miserly ways. + +LA FL. I say plague take all misers and all miserly ways. + +HAR. Of whom do you speak? + +LA FL. Of misers. + +HAR. And who are they, these misers? + +LA FL. Villains and stingy wretches! + +HAR. But what do you mean by that? + +LA FL. Why do you trouble yourself so much about what I say? + +HAR. I trouble myself because I think it right to do so. + +LA FL. Do you think I am speaking about you? + +HAR. I think what I think; but I insist upon your telling me to whom +you speak when you say that. + +LA FL. To whom I speak? I am speaking to the inside of my hat. + +HAR. And I will, perhaps, speak to the outside of your head. + +LA FL. Would you prevent me from cursing misers? + +HAR. No; but I will prevent you from prating and from being insolent. +Hold your tongue, will you? + +LA FL. I name nobody. + +HAR. Another word, and I'll thrash you. + +LA FL. He whom the cap fits, let him wear it. + +HAR. Will you be silent? + +LA FL. Yes; much against my will. + +HAR. Ah! ah! + +LA FL. (_showing_ HARPAGON _one of his doublet pockets_). Just look, +here is one more pocket. Are you satisfied? + +HAR. Come, give it up to me without all that fuss. + +LA FL. Give you what? + +HAR. What you have stolen from me. + +LA FL. I have stolen nothing at all from you. + +HAR. Are you telling the truth? + +LA FL. Yes. + +HAR. Good-bye, then, and now you may go to the devil. + +LA FL. (_aside_). That's a nice way of dismissing anyone. + +HAR. I leave it to your conscience, remember! + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON (_alone_.) + +This rascally valet is a constant vexation to me; and I hate the very +sight of the good-for-nothing cripple. Really, it is no small anxiety +to keep by one a large sum of money; and happy is the man who has all +his cash well invested, and who needs not keep by him more than he +wants for his daily expenses. I am not a little puzzled to find in the +whole of this house a safe hiding-place. Don't speak to me of your +strong boxes, I will never trust to them. Why, they are just the very +things thieves set upon! + + +SCENE V.--HARPAGON, ÉLISE _and_ CLÉANTE _are seen talking together at +the back of the stage._ + +HAR. (_thinking himself alone_.) Meanwhile, I hardly know whether I +did right to bury in my garden the ten thousand crowns which were paid +to me yesterday. Ten thousand crowns in gold is a sum sufficiently ... +(_Aside, on perceiving_ ÉLISE _and_ CLÉANTE _whispering together_) +Good heavens! I have betrayed myself; my warmth has carried me away. I +believe I spoke aloud while reasoning with myself. (_To_ CLÉANTE _and_ +ÉLISE) What do you want? + +CLE. Nothing, father. + +HAR. Have you been here long? + +ELI. We have only just come. + +HAR. Did you hear...? + +CLE. What, father? + +HAR. There...! + +CLE. What? + +HAR. What I was just now saying. + +CLE. No. + +HAR. You did. I know you did. + +ELI. I beg your pardon, father, but we did not. + +HAR. I see well enough that you overheard a few words. The fact is, I +was only talking to myself about the trouble one has nowadays to raise +any money; and I was saying that he is a fortunate man who has ten +thousand crowns in his house. + +CLE. We were afraid of coming near you, for fear of intruding. + +HAR. I am very glad to tell you this, so that you may not misinterpret +things, and imagine that I said that it was I who have ten thousand +crowns. + +CLE. We do not wish to interfere in your affairs. + +HAR. Would that I had them, these ten thousand crowns! + +CLE. I should not think that ... + +HAR. What a capital affair it would be for me. + +CLE. There are things ... + +HAR. I greatly need them. + +CLE. I fancy that ... + +HAR. It would suit me exceedingly well. + +ELI. You are ... + +HAR. And I should not have to complain, as I do now, that the times +are bad. + +CLE. Dear me, father, you have no reason to complain; and everyone +knows that you are well enough off. + +HAR. How? I am well enough off! Those who say it are liars. Nothing +can be more false; and they are scoundrels who spread such reports. + +ELI. Don't be angry. + +HAR. It is strange that my own children betray me and become my +enemies. + +CLE. Is it being your enemy to say that you have wealth? + +HAR. Yes, it is. Such talk and your extravagant expenses will be the +cause that some day thieves will come and cut my throat, in the belief +that I am made of gold. + +CLE. What extravagant expenses do I indulge in? + +HAR. What! Is there anything more scandalous than this sumptuous +attire with which you jaunt it about the town? I was remonstrating +with your sister yesterday, but you are still worse. It cries +vengeance to heaven; and were we to calculate all you are wearing, +from head to foot, we should find enough for a good annuity. I have +told you a hundred times, my son, that your manners displease me +exceedingly; you affect the marquis terribly, and for you to be always +dressed as you are, you must certainly rob me. + +CLE. Rob you? And how? + +HAR. How should I know? Where else could you find money enough to +clothe yourself as you do? + +CLE. I, father? I play; and as I am very lucky, I spend in clothes all +the money I win. + +HAR. It is very wrong. If you are lucky at play, you should profit by +it, and place the money you win at decent interest, so that you may +find it again some day. I should like to know, for instance, without +mentioning the rest, what need there is for all these ribbons with +which you are decked from head to foot, and if half a dozen tags are +not sufficient to fasten your breeches. What necessity is there for +anyone to spend money upon wigs, when we have hair of our own growth, +which costs nothing. I will lay a wager that, in wigs and ribbons +alone, there are certainly twenty pistoles spent, and twenty pistoles +brings in at least eighteen livres six sous eight deniers per annum, +at only eight per cent interest. + +CLE. You are quite right. + +HAR. Enough on this subject; let us talk of something else. (_Aside, +noticing_ CLÉANTE _and_ ÉLISE, _who make signs to one another_) +I believe they are making signs to one another to pick my pocket. +(_Aloud_) What do you mean by those signs? + +ELI. We are hesitating as to who shall speak first, for we both have +something to tell you. + +HAR. And I also have something to tell you both. + +CLE. We wanted to speak to you about marriage, father. + +HAR. The very thing I wish to speak to you about. + +ELI. Ah! my father! + +HAR. What is the meaning of that exclamation? Is it the word, +daughter, or the thing itself that frightens you? + +CLE. Marriage may frighten us both according to the way you take it; +and our feelings may perhaps not coincide with your choice. + +HAR. A little patience, if you please. You need not be alarmed. I know +what is good for you both, and you will have no reason to complain of +anything I intend to do. To begin at the beginning. (_To_ CLÉANTE) Do +you know, tell me, a young person, called Marianne, who lives not far +from here? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. And you? + +ELI. I have heard her spoken of. + +HAR. Well, my son, and how do you like the girl? + +CLE. She is very charming. + +HAR. Her face? + +CLE. Modest and intelligent. + +HAR. Her air and manner? + +CLE. Perfect, undoubtedly. + +HAR. Do you not think that such a girl well deserves to be thought of? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. She would form a very desirable match? + +CLE. Very desirable. + +HAR. That there is every likelihood of her making a thrifty and +careful wife. + +CLE. Certainly. + +HAR. And that a husband might live very happily with her? + +CLE. I have not the least doubt about it. + +HAR. There is one little difficulty; I am afraid she has not the +fortune we might reasonably expect. + +CLE. Oh, my father, riches are of little importance when one is sure +of marrying a virtuous woman. + +HAR. I beg your pardon. Only there is this to be said: that if we do +not find as much money as we could wish, we may make it up in +something else. + +CLE. That follows as a matter of course. + +HAR. Well, I must say that I am very much pleased to find that you +entirely agree with me, for her modest manner and her gentleness have +won my heart; and I have made up my mind to marry her, provided I find +she has some dowry. + +CLE. Eh! + +HAR. What now? + +CLE. You are resolved, you say...? + +HAR. To marry Marianne. + +CLE. Who? you? you? + +HAR. Yes, I, I, I. What does all this mean? + +CLE. I feel a sudden dizziness, and I must withdraw for a little +while. + +HAR. It will be nothing. Go quickly into the kitchen and drink a large +glass of cold water, it will soon set you all right again. + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ÉLISE. + +HAR. There goes one of your effeminate fops, with no more stamina than +a chicken. That is what I have resolved for myself, my daughter. As to +your brother, I have thought for him of a certain widow, of whom I +heard this morning; and you I shall give to Mr. Anselme. + +ELI. To Mr. Anselme? + +HAR. Yes, a staid and prudent man, who is not above fifty, and of +whose riches everybody speaks. + +ELI. (_curtseying_). I have no wish to marry, father, if you +please. + +HAR. (_imitating_ ÉLISE). And I, my little girl, my darling, I wish +you to marry, if you please. + +ELI. (_curtseying again_). I beg your pardon, my father. + +HAR. (_again imitating_ ÉLISE). I beg your pardon, my daughter. + +ELI. I am the very humble servant of Mr. Anselme, but (_curtseying +again_), with your leave, I shall not marry him. + +HAR. I am your very humble servant, but (_again imitating_ ÉLISE) you +will marry him this very evening. + +ELI. This evening? + +HAR. This evening. + +ELI. (_curtseying again_). It cannot be done, father. + +HAR. (_imitating_ ÉLISE). It will be done, daughter. + +ELI. No. + +HAR. Yes. + +ELI. No, I tell you. + +HAR. Yes, I tell you. + +ELI. You will never force me to do such a thing + +HAR. I will force you to it. + +ELI. I had rather kill myself than marry such a man. + +HAR. You will not kill yourself, and you will marry him. But did you +ever see such impudence? Did ever any one hear a daughter speak in +such a fashion to her father? + +ELI. But did ever anyone see a father marry his daughter after such a +fashion? + +HAR. It is a match against which nothing can be said, and I am +perfectly sure that everybody will approve of my choice. + +ELI. And I know that it will be approved of by no reasonable person. + +HAR. (_seeing_ VALÈRE). There is Valère coming. Shall we make him +judge in this affair? + +ELI. Willingly. + +HAR. You will abide by what he says? + +ELI. Yes, whatever he thinks right, I will do. + +HAR. Agreed. + + +SCENE VII.--VALÈRE, HARPAGON, ÉLISE. + +HAR. Valère, we have chosen you to decide who is in the right, my +daughter or I. + +VAL. It is certainly you, Sir. + +HAR. But have you any idea of what we are talking about? + +VAL. No; but you could not be in the wrong; you are reason itself. + +HAR. I want to give her to-night, for a husband, a man as rich as he +is good; and the hussy tells me to my face that she scorns to take +him. What do you say to that? + +VAL. What I say to it? + +HAR. Yes? + +VAL. Eh! eh! + +HAR. What? + +VAL. I say that I am, upon the whole, of your opinion, and that you +cannot but be right; yet, perhaps, she is not altogether wrong; +and ... + +HAR. How so? Mr. Anselme is an excellent match; he is a nobleman, and +a gentleman too; of simple habits, and extremely well off. He has no +children left from his first marriage. Could she meet with anything +more suitable? + +VAL. It is true. But she might say that you are going rather fast, and +that she ought to have at least a little time to consider whether her +inclination could reconcile itself to ... + +HAR. It is an opportunity I must not allow to slip through my fingers. +I find an advantage here which I should not find elsewhere, and he +agrees to take her without dowry. + +VAL. Without dowry? + +HAR. Yes. + +VAL. Ah! I have nothing more to say. A more convincing reason could +not be found; and she must yield to that. + +HAR. It is a considerable saving to me. + +VAL. Undoubtedly; this admits of no contradiction. It is true that +your daughter might represent to you that marriage is a more serious +affair than people are apt to believe; that the happiness or misery of +a whole life depends on it, and that an engagement which is to last +till death ought not to be entered into without great consideration. + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. That must of course decide everything. There are certainly people +who might tell you that on such occasions the wishes of a daughter are +no doubt to be considered, and that this great disparity of age, of +disposition, and of feelings might be the cause of many an unpleasant +thing in a married life. + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. Ah! it must be granted that there is no reply to that; who in the +world could think otherwise? I do not mean to say but that there are +many fathers who would set a much higher value on the happiness of +their daughter than on the money they may have to give for their +marriage; who would not like to sacrifice them to their own interests, +and who would, above all things, try to see in a marriage that sweet +conformity of tastes which is a sure pledge of honour, tranquillity +and joy; and that ... + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. That is true; nothing more can be said. Without dowry. How can +anyone resist such arguments? + +HAR. (_aside, looking towards the garden_). Ah! I fancy I hear a dog +barking. Is anyone after my money. (_To_ VALÈRE) Stop here, I'll come +back directly. + + +SCENE VIII.--ÉLISE, VALÈRE. + +ELI. Surely, Valère, you are not in earnest when you speak to him in +that manner? + +VAL. I do it that I may not vex him, and the better to secure my ends. +To resist him boldly would simply spoil everything. There are certain +people who are only to be managed by indirect means, temperaments +averse from all resistance, restive natures whom truth causes to rear, +who always kick when we would lead them on the right road of reason, +and who can only be led by a way opposed to that by which you wish +them to go. Pretend to comply with his wishes; you are much more +likely to succeed in the end, and ... + +ELI. But this marriage, Valère? + +VAL. We will find some pretext for breaking it off. + +ELI. But what pretext can we find if it is to be concluded to-night? + +VAL. You must ask to have it delayed, and must feign some illness or +other. + +ELI. But he will soon discover the truth if they call in the doctor. + +VAL. Not a bit of it. Do you imagine that a doctor understands what he +is about? Nonsense! Don't be afraid. Believe me, you may complain of +any disease you please, the doctor will be at no loss to explain to +you from what it proceeds. + + +SCENE IX--HARPAGON, ÉLISE, VALÈRE. + +HAR. (_alone, at the farther end of the stage_). It is nothing, +thank heaven! + +VAL. (_not seeing_ HARPAGON). In short, flight is the last resource we +have left us to avoid all this; and if your love, dear Élise, is as +strong as ... (_Seeing_ HARPAGON) Yes, a daughter is bound to obey her +father. She has no right to inquire what a husband offered to her is +like, and when the most important question, "without dowry," presents +itself, she should accept anybody that is given her. + +HAR. Good; that was beautifully said! + +VAL. I beg your pardon, Sir, if I carry it a little too far, and take +upon myself to speak to her as I do. + +HAR. Why, I am delighted, and I wish you to have her entirely under +your control. (_To_ ÉLISE) Yes, you may run away as much as you like. +I give him all the authority over you that heaven has given me, and I +will have you do all that he tells you. + +VAL. After that, resist all my expostulations, if you can. + + +SCENE X.--HARPAGON, VALÈRE. + + +VAL. I will follow her, Sir, if you will allow me, and will continue +the lecture I was giving her. + +HAR. Yes, do so; you will oblige me greatly. + +VAL. She ought to be kept in with a tight hand. + +HAR. Quite true, you must.... + +VAL. Do not be afraid; I believe I shall end by convincing her. + +HAR. Do so, do so. I am going to take a short stroll in the town, and +I will come back again presently. + +VAL. (_going towards the door through which_ ÉLISE _left, and speaking +as if it were to her_). Yes, money is more precious than anything else +in the world, and you should thank heaven that you have so worthy a +man for a father. He knows what life is. When a man offers to marry a +girl without a dowry, we ought to look no farther. Everything is +comprised in that, and "without dowry" compensates for want of beauty, +youth, birth, honour, wisdom, and probity. + +HAR. Ah! the honest fellow! he speaks like an oracle. Happy is he who +can secure such a servant! + + + + +ACT II. + +SCENE I.--CLÉANTE, LA FLÈCHE. + + +CLE. How now, you rascal! where have you been hiding? Did I not give +you orders to...? + +LA FL. Yes, Sir, and I came here resolved to wait for you without +stirring, but your father, that most ungracious of men, drove me into +the street in spite of myself, and I well nigh got a good drubbing +into the bargain. + +CLE. How is our affair progressing? Things are worse than ever for us, +and since I left you, I have discovered that my own father is my +rival. + +LA FL. Your father in love? + +CLE. It seems so; and I found it very difficult to hide from him what +I felt at such a discovery. + +LA FL. He meddling with love! What the deuce is he thinking of? Does +he mean to set everybody at defiance? And is love made for people of +his build? + +CLE. It is to punish me for my sins that this passion has entered his +head. + +LA FL. But why do you hide your love from him? + +CLE. That he may not suspect anything, and to make it more easy for me +to fall back, if need be, upon some device to prevent this marriage. +What answer did you receive? + +LA FL. Indeed, Sir, those who borrow are much to be pitied, and we +must put up with strange things when, like you, we are forced to pass +through the hands of the usurers. + +CLE. Then the affair won't come off? + +LA FL. Excuse me; Mr. Simon, the broker who was recommended to us, is +a very active and zealous fellow, and says he has left no stone +unturned to help you. He assures me that your looks alone have won his +heart. + +CLE. Shall I have the fifteen thousand francs which I want? + +LA FL. Yes, but under certain trifling conditions, which you must +accept if you wish the bargain to be concluded. + +CLE. Did you speak to the man who is to lend the money? + +LA FL. Oh! dear no. Things are not done in that way. He is still more +anxious than you to remain unknown. These things are greater mysteries +than you think. His name is not by any means to be divulged, and he is +to be introduced to you to-day at a house provided by him, so that he +may hear from yourself all about your position and your family; and I +have not the least doubt that the mere name of your father will be +sufficient to accomplish what you wish. + +CLE. Particularly as my mother is dead, and they cannot deprive me of +what I inherit from her. + +LA FL. Well, here are some of the conditions which he has himself +dictated to our go-between for you to take cognisance of, before +anything is begun. + +"Supposing that the lender is satisfied with all his securities, and +that the borrower is of age and of a family whose property is ample, +solid, secure, and free from all incumbrances, there shall be drawn up +a good and correct bond before as honest a notary as it is possible to +find, and who for this purpose shall be chosen by the lender, because +he is the more concerned of the two that the bond should be rightly +executed." + +CLE. There is nothing to say against that. + +LA FL. "The lender, not to burden his conscience with the least +scruple, does not wish to lend his money at more than five and a half +per cent." + +CLE. Five and a half per cent? By Jove, that's honest! We have nothing +to complain of. + +LA FL. That's true. + +"But as the said lender has not in hand the sum required, and as, in +order to oblige the borrower, he is himself obliged to borrow from +another at the rate of twenty per cent., it is but right that the said +first borrower shall pay this interest, without detriment to the rest; +since it is only to oblige him that the said lender is himself forced +to borrow." + +CLE. The deuce! What a Jew! what a Turk we have here! That is more +than twenty-five per cent. + +LA FL. That's true; and it is the remark I made. It is for you to +consider the matter before you act. + +CLE. How can I consider? I want the money, and I must therefore accept +everything. + +LA FL. That is exactly what I answered. + +CLE. Is there anything else? + +LA FL. Only a small item. + +"Of the fifteen thousand francs which are demanded, the lender will +only be able to count down twelve thousand in hard cash; instead of +the remaining three thousand, the borrower will have to take the +chattels, clothing, and jewels, contained in the following catalogue, +and which the said lender has put in all good faith at the lowest +possible figure." + +CLE. What is the meaning of all that? + +LA FL. I'll go through the catalogue:-- + +"Firstly:--A fourpost bedstead, with hangings of Hungary lace very +elegantly trimmed with olive-coloured cloth, and six chairs and a +counterpane to match; the whole in very good condition, and lined with +soft red and blue shot-silk. Item:--the tester of good pale pink +Aumale serge, with the small and the large fringes of silk." + +CLE. What does he want me to do with all this? + +LA FL. Wait. + +"Item:--Tapestry hangings representing the loves of Gombaud and +Macée.[1] Item:--A large walnut table with twelve columns or turned +legs, which draws out at both ends, and is provided beneath with six +stools." + +CLE. Hang it all! What am I to do with all this? + +LA FL. Have patience. + +"Item:--Three large matchlocks inlaid with mother-of-pearl, with rests +to correspond. Item:--A brick furnace with two retorts and three +receivers, very useful to those who have any taste for distilling." + +CLE. You will drive me crazy. + +LA FL. Gently! + +"Item:--A Bologna lute with all its strings, or nearly all. Item:--A +pigeon-hole table and a draught-board, and a game of mother goose, +restored from the Greeks, most useful to pass the time when one has +nothing to do. Item:--A lizard's skin, three feet and a half in +length, stuffed with hay, a pleasing curiosity to hang on the ceiling +of a room. The whole of the above-mentioned articles are really worth +more than four thousand five hundred francs, and are reduced to the +value of a thousand crowns through the considerateness of the lender." + +CLE. Let the plague choke him with his considerateness, the wretch, +the cut-throat that he is! Did ever anyone hear of such usury? Is he +not satisfied with the outrageous interest he asks that he must force +me to take, instead of the three thousand francs, all the old rubbish +which he picks up. I shan't get two hundred crowns for all that, and +yet I must bring myself to yield to all his wishes; for he is in a +position to force me to accept everything, and he has me, the villain, +with a knife at my throat. + +LA FL. I see you, Sir, if you'll forgive my saying so, on the +high-road followed by Panurge[2] to ruin himself--taking money in +advance, buying dear, selling cheap, and cutting your corn while it is +still grass. + +CLE. What would you have me do? It is to this that young men are +reduced by the accursed avarice of their fathers; and people are +astonished after that, that sons long for their death. + +LA FL. No one can deny that yours would excite against his meanness +the most quiet of men. I have not, thank God, any inclination +gallows-ward, and among my colleagues whom I see dabbling in various +doubtful affairs, I know well enough how to keep myself out of hot +water, and how to keep clear of all those things which savour ever so +little of the ladder; but to tell you the truth, he almost gives me, +by his ways of going on, the desire of robbing him, and I should think +that in doing so I was doing a meritorious action. + +CLE. Give me that memorandum that I may have another look at it. + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, MR. SIMON (CLÉANTE _and_ LA FLÈCHE _at the back +of the stage_). + +SIM. Yes, Sir; it is a young man who is greatly in want of money; his +affairs force him to find some at any cost, and he will submit to all +your conditions. + +HAR. But are you sure, Mr. Simon, that there is no risk to run in this +case? and do you know the name, the property, and the family of him +for whom you speak? + +SIM. No; I cannot tell you anything for certain, as it was by mere +chance that I was made acquainted with him; but he will tell you +everything himself, and his servant has assured me that you will be +quite satisfied when you know who he is. All I can tell you is that +his family is said to be very wealthy, that he has already lost his +mother, and that he will pledge you his word, if you insist upon it, +that his father will die before eight months are passed. + +HAR. That is something. Charity, Mr. Simon, demands of us to gratify +people whenever we have it in our power. + +SIM. Evidently. + +LA FL. (_aside to_ CLÉANTE, _on recognising_ MR. SIMON). What does +this mean? Mr. Simon talking with your father! + +CLE. (_aside to_ LA FLÈCHE). Has he been told who I am, and would you +be capable of betraying me? + +SIM. (_to_ CLÉANTE _and_ LA FLÈCHE). Ah! you are in good time! But who +told you to come here? (_To_ HARPAGON) It was certainly not I who told +them your name and address; but I am of opinion that there is no great +harm done; they are people who can be trusted, and you can come to +some understanding together. + +HAR. What! + +SIM. (_showing_ CLÉANTE). This is the gentleman who wants to borrow +the fifteen thousand francs of which I have spoken to you. + +HAR. What! miscreant! is it you who abandon yourself to such excesses? + +CLE. What! father! is it you who stoop to such shameful deeds? + +(MR. SIMON _runs away, and_ LA FLÈCHE _hides himself_.) + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE. + +HAR. It is you who are ruining yourself by loans so greatly to be +condemned! + +CLE. So it is you who seek to enrich yourself by such criminal usury! + +HAR. And you dare, after that, to show yourself before me? + +CLE. And you dare, after that, to show yourself to the world? + +HAR. Are you not ashamed, tell me, to descend to these wild excesses, +to rush headlong into frightful expenses, and disgracefully to +dissipate the wealth which your parents have amassed with so much +toil. + +CLE. Are you not ashamed of dishonouring your station by such +dealings, of sacrificing honour and reputation to the insatiable +desire of heaping crown upon crown, and of outdoing the most infamous +devices that have ever been invented by the most notorious usurers? + +HAR. Get out of my sight, you reprobate; get out of my sight! + +CLE. Who is the more criminal in your opinion: he who buys the money +of which he stands in need, or he who obtains, by unfair means, money +for which he has no use? + +HAR. Begone, I say, and do not provoke me to anger. (_Alone_) After +all, I am not very much vexed at this adventure; it will be a lesson +to me to keep a better watch over all his doings. + + +SCENE IV.--FROSINE, HARPAGON. + +FRO. Sir. + +HAR. Wait a moment, I will come back and speak to you. (_Aside_) I had +better go and see a little after my money. + + + + +SCENE V.--LA FLÈCHE, FROSINE. + + +LA FL. (_without seeing_ FROSINE). The adventure is most comical. +Hidden somewhere he must have a large store of goods of all kinds, for +the list did not contain one single article which either of us +recognised. + +FRO. Hallo! is it you, my poor La Flèche? How is it we meet here? + +LA FL. Ah! ah! it is you, Frosine; and what have you come to do here? + +FRO. What have I come to do? Why! what I do everywhere else, busy +myself about other people's affairs, make myself useful to the +community in general, and profit as much as I possibly can by the +small talent I possess. Must we not live by our wits in this world? +and what other resources have people like me but intrigue and cunning? + +LA FL. Have you, then, any business with the master of this house? + +FRO. Yes. I am transacting for him a certain small matter for which he +is pretty sure to give me a reward. + +LA FL. He give you a reward! Ah! ah! Upon my word, you will be 'cute +if you ever get one, and I warn you that ready money is very scarce +hereabouts. + +FRO. That may be, but there are certain services which wonderfully +touch our feelings. + +LA FL. Your humble servant; but as yet you don't know Harpagon. +Harpagon is the human being of all human beings the least humane, the +mortal of all mortals the hardest and closest. There is no service +great enough to induce him to open his purse. If, indeed, you want +praise, esteem, kindness, and friendship, you are welcome to any +amount; but money, that's a different affair. There is nothing more +dry, more barren, than his favour and his good grace, and "_give_" is +a word for which he has such a strong dislike that he never says _I +give_, but _I lend, you a good morning_. + +FRO. That's all very well; but I know the art of fleecing men. I have +a secret of touching their affections by flattering their hearts, and +of finding out their weak points. + +LA FL. All useless here. I defy you to soften, as far as money is +concerned, the man we are speaking of. He is a Turk on that point, of +a Turkishness to drive anyone to despair, and we might starve in his +presence and never a peg would he stir. In short, he loves money +better than reputation, honour, and virtue, and the mere sight of +anyone making demands upon his purse sends him into convulsions; it is +like striking him in a vital place, it is piercing him to the heart, +it is like tearing out his very bowels! And if ... But here he comes +again; I leave you. + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, FROSINE. + +HAR. (_aside_). All is as it should be. (_To_ FROSINE) Well, what is +it, Frosine? + +FRO. Bless me, how well you look! You are the very picture of health. + +HAR. Who? I? + +FRO. Never have I seen you looking more rosy, more hearty. + +HAR. Are you in earnest? + +FRO. Why! you have never been so young in your life; and I know many a +man of twenty-five who looks much older than you do. + +HAR. And yet, Frosine, I have passed threescore. + +FRO. Threescore! Well, and what then? You don't mean to make a trouble +of that, do you? It's the very flower of manhood, the threshold of the +prime of life. + +HAR. True; but twenty years less would do me no harm, I think. + +FRO. Nonsense! You've no need of that, and you are of a build to last +out a hundred. + +HAR. Do you really think so? + +FRO. Decidedly. You have all the appearance of it. Hold yourself up a +little. Ah! what a sign of long life is that line there straight +between your two eyes! + +HAR. You know all about that, do you? + +FRO. I should think I do. Show me your hand. [3] [Footnote: Frosine +professes a knowledge of palmistry.] Dear me, what a line of life +there is there! + +HAR. Where? + +FRO. Don't you see how far this line goes? + +HAR. Well, and what does it mean? + +FRO. What does it mean? There ... I said a hundred years; but no, it +is one hundred and twenty I ought to have said. + +HAR. Is it possible? + +FRO. I tell you they will have to kill you, and you will bury your +children and your children's children. + +HAR. So much the better! And what news of our affair? + +FRO. Is there any need to ask? Did ever anyone see me begin anything +and not succeed in it? I have, especially for matchmaking, the most +wonderful talent. There are no two persons in the world I could not +couple together; and I believe that, if I took it into my head, I +could make the Grand Turk marry the Republic of Venice.[4] But we had, +to be sure, no such difficult thing to achieve in this matter. As I +know the ladies very well, I told them every particular about you; and +I acquainted the mother with your intentions towards Marianne since +you saw her pass in the street and enjoy the fresh air out of her +window. + +HAR. What did she answer...? + +FRO. She received your proposal with great joy; and when I told her +that you wished very much that her daughter should come to-night to +assist at the marriage contract which is to be signed for your own +daughter, she assented at once, and entrusted her to me for the +purpose. + +HAR. You see, Frosine, I am obliged to give some supper to Mr. +Anselme, and I should like her to have a share in the feast. + +FRO. You are quite right. She is to come after dinner to pay a visit +to your daughter; then she means to go from here to the fair, and +return to your house just in time for supper. + +HAR. That will do very well; they shall go together in my carriage, +which I will lend them. + +FRO. That will suit her perfectly. + +HAR. But I say, Frosine, have you spoken to the mother about the dowry +she can give her daughter? Did you make her understand that under such +circumstances she ought to do her utmost and to make a great +sacrifice? For, after all, one does not marry a girl without her +bringing something with her. + +FRO. How something! She is a girl who will bring you a clear twelve +thousand francs a year? + +HAR. Twelve thousand francs a year? + +FRO. Yes! To begin with, she has been nursed and brought up with the +strictest notions of frugality. She is a girl accustomed to live upon +salad, milk, cheese, and apples, and who consequently will require +neither a well served up table, nor any rich broth, nor your +everlasting peeled barley; none, in short, of all those delicacies +that another woman would want. This is no small matter, and may well +amount to three thousand francs yearly. Besides this, she only cares +for simplicity and neatness; she will have none of those splendid +dresses and rich jewels, none of that sumptuous furniture in which +girls like her indulge so extravagantly; and this item is worth more +than four thousand francs per annum. Lastly, she has the deepest +aversion to gambling; and this is not very common nowadays among +women. Why, I know of one in our neighbourhood who lost at least +twenty thousand francs this year. But let us reckon only a fourth of +that sum. Five thousand francs a year at play and four thousand in +clothes and jewels make nine thousand; and three thousand francs which +we count for food, does it not make your twelve thousand francs? + +HAR. Yes, that's not bad; but, after all, that calculation has nothing +real in it. + +FRO. Excuse me; is it nothing real to bring you in marriage a great +sobriety, to inherit a great love for simplicity in dress, and the +acquired property of a great hatred for gambling? + +HAR. It is a farce to pretend to make up a dowry with all the expenses +she will not run into. I could not give a receipt for what I do not +receive; and I must decidedly get something. + +FRO. Bless me! you will get enough; and they have spoken to me of a +certain country where they have some property, of which you will be +master. + +HAR. We shall have to see to that. But, Frosine, there is one more +thing that makes me uneasy. The girl is young, you know; and young +people generally like those who are young like themselves, and only +care for the society of the young. I am afraid that a man of my age +may not exactly suit her taste, and that this may occasion in my +family certain complications that would in nowise be pleasant to me. + +FRO. Oh, how badly you judge her! This is one more peculiarity of +which I had to speak to you. She has the greatest detestation to all +young men, and only likes old people. + +HAR. Does she? + +FRO. I should like you to hear her talk on that subject; she cannot +bear at all the sight of a young man, and nothing delights her more +than to see a fine old man with a venerable beard. The oldest are to +her the most charming, and I warn you beforehand not to go and make +yourself any younger than you really are. She wishes for one sixty +years old at least; and it is not more than six months ago that on the +very eve of being married she suddenly broke off the match on learning +that her lover was only fifty-six years of age, and did not put on +spectacles to sign the contract. + +HAR. Only for that? + +FRO. Yes; she says there is no pleasure with a man of fifty-six; and +she has a decided affection for those who wear spectacles. + +HAR. Well, this is quite new to me. + +FRO. No one can imagine how far she carries this. She has in her room +a few pictures and engravings, and what do you imagine they are? An +Adonis, a Cephalus, a Paris, an Apollo? Not a bit of it! Fine +portraits of Saturn, of King Priam, of old Nestor, and of good father +Anchises on his son's shoulders. + +HAR. That's admirable. I should never have guessed such a thing; and I +am very pleased to hear that she has such taste as this. Indeed had I +been a woman, I should never have loved young fellows. + +FRO. I should think not. Fine trumpery indeed, these young men, for +any one to fall in love with. Fine jackanapes and puppies for a woman +to hanker after. I should like to know what relish anyone can find in +them? + +HAR. Truly; I don't understand it myself, and I cannot make out how it +is that some women dote so on them. + +FRO. They must be downright idiots. Can any one be in his senses who +thinks youth amiable? Can those curly-pated coxcombs be men, and can +one really get attached to such animals? + +HAR. Exactly what I say every day! With their effeminate voices, their +three little bits of a beard turned up like cat's whiskers, their tow +wigs, their flowing breeches and open breasts! + +FRO. Yes; they are famous guys compared with yourself. In you we see +something like a man. There is enough to satisfy the eye. It is thus +that one should be made and dressed to inspire love. + +HAR. Then you think I am pretty well? + +FRO. Pretty well! I should think so; you are charming, and your face +would make a beautiful picture. Turn round a little, if you please. +You could not find anything better anywhere. Let me see you walk. You +have a well-shaped body, free and easy, as it should be, and one which +gives no sign of infirmity. + +HAR. I have nothing the matter to speak of, I am thankful to say. It +is only my cough, which returns from time to time.[5] + +FRO. That is nothing, and coughing becomes you exceedingly well. + +HAR. Tell me, Frosine, has Marianne seen me yet? Has she not noticed +me when I passed by? + +FRO. No; but we have had many conversations about you. I gave her an +exact description of your person, and I did not fail to make the most +of your merit, and to show her what an advantage it would be to have a +husband like you. + +HAR. You did right, and I thank you very much for it. + +FRO. I have, Sir, a small request to make to you. I am in danger of +losing a lawsuit for want of a little money (HARPAGON _looks grave_), +and you can easily help me with it, if you have pity upon me. You +cannot imagine how happy she will be to see you. (HARPAGON _looks +joyful_.) Oh! how sure you are to please her, and how sure that +antique ruff of yours is to produce a wonderful effect on her mind. +But, above all, she will be delighted with your breeches fastened to +your doublet with tags; that will make her mad after you, and a lover +who wears tags will be most welcome to her. + +HAR. You send me into raptures, Frosine, by saying that. + +FRO. I tell you the truth, Sir; this lawsuit is of the utmost +importance for me. (HARPAGON _looks serious again_.) If I lose it, I +am for ever ruined; but a very small sum will save me. I should like +you to have seen the happiness she felt when I spoke of you to her. +(HARPAGON _looks pleased again_.) Joy sparkled in her eyes while I +told her of all your good qualities; and I succeeded, in short, in +making her look forward with the greatest impatience to the conclusion +of the match. + +HAR. You have given me great pleasure, Frosine, and I assure you I ... + +FRO. I beg of you, Sir, to grant me the little assistance I ask of +you. (HARPAGON _again looks grave_.) It will put me on my feet again, +and I shall feel grateful to you for ever. + +HAR. Good-bye; I must go and finish my correspondence. + +FRO. I assure you, Sir, that you could not help me in a more pressing +necessity. + +HAR. I will see that my carriage is ready to take you to the fair. + +FRO. I would not importune you so if I were not compelled by +necessity. + +HAR. And I will see that we have supper early, so that nobody may be +ill. + +FRO. Do not refuse me the service; I beg of you. You can hardly +believe, Sir, the pleasure that ... + +HAR. I must go; somebody is calling me. We shall see each other again +by and by. + +FRO. (_alone_). May the fever seize you, you stingy cur, and send you +to the devil and his angels! The miser has held out against all my +attacks; but I must not drop the negotiation; for I have the other +side, and there, at all events, I am sure of a good reward. + + + + +ACT III. + +SCENE I.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, DAME CLAUDE (_holding a +broom_), MASTER JACQUES, LA MERLUCHE, BRINDAVOINE. + + +HAR. Here, come here, all of you; I must give you orders for by and +by, and arrange what each one will have to do. Come nearer, Dame +Claude; let us begin with you. (_Looking at her broom._) Good; you are +ready armed, I see. To you I commit the care of cleaning up +everywhere; but, above all, be very careful not to rub the furniture +too hard, for fear of wearing it out. Besides this, I put the bottles +under your care during supper, and if any one of them is missing, or +if anything gets broken, you will be responsible for it, and pay it +out of your wages. + +JAC. (_aside_). A shrewd punishment that. + +HAR. (_to_ DAME CLAUDE.) Now you may go. + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES, +BRINDAVOINE, LA MERLUCHE. + +HAR. To you, Brindavoine, and to you, La Merluche, belongs the duty of +washing the glasses, and of giving to drink, but only when people are +thirsty, and not according to the custom of certain impertinent +lackeys, who urge them to drink, and put the idea into their heads +when they are not thinking about it. Wait until you have been asked +several times, and remember always to have plenty of water. + +JAC. (_aside_). Yes; wine without water gets into one's head. + +LA MER. Shall we take off our smocks, Sir? + +HAR. Yes, when you see the guests coming; but be very careful not to +spoil your clothes. + +BRIND. You know, Sir, that one of the fronts of my doublet is covered +with a large stain of oil from the lamp. + +LA MER. And I, Sir, that my breeches are all torn behind, and that, +saving your presence ... + +HAR. (_to_ LA MERLUCHE). Peace! Turn carefully towards the wall, and +always face the company. (_To_ BRINDAVOINE, _showing him how he is to +hold his hat before his doublet, to hide the stain of oil_) And you, +always hold your hat in this fashion when you wait on the guests. + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES. + +HAR. As for you, my daughter, you will look after all that is cleared +off the table, and see that nothing is wasted: this care is very +becoming to young girls. Meanwhile get ready to welcome my lady-love, +who is coming this afternoon to pay you a visit, and will take you off +to the fair with her. Do you understand what I say? + +ELI. Yes, father. + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES. + +HAR. And you, my young dandy of a son to whom I have the kindness of +forgiving what happened this morning, mind you don't receive her +coldly, or show her a sour face. + +CLE. Receive her coldly! And why should I? + +HAR. Why? why? We know pretty well the ways of children whose fathers +marry again, and the looks they give to those we call stepmothers. But +if you wish me to forget your last offence, I advise you, above all +things, to receive her kindly, and, in short, to give her the +heartiest welcome you can. + +CLE. To speak the truth, father, I cannot promise you that I am very +happy to see her become my stepmother; but as to receiving her +properly, and as to giving her a kind welcome, I promise to obey you +in that to the very letter. + +HAR. Be careful you do, at least. + +CLE. You will see that you have no cause to complain. + +HAR. You will do wisely. + + +SCENE V.--HARPAGON, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES. + +HAR. Valère, you will have to give me your help in this business. Now, +Master Jacques, I kept you for the last. + +JAC. Is it to your coachman, Sir, or to your cook you want to speak, +for I am both the one and the other? + +HAR. To both. + +JAC. But to which of the two first? + +HAR. To the cook. + +JAC. Then wait a minute, if you please. + +(JACQUES _takes off his stable-coat and appears dressed as a cook._) + +HAR. What the deuce is the meaning of this ceremony? + +JAC. Now I am at your service. + +HAR. I have engaged myself, Master Jacques, to give a supper to-night. + +JAC. (_aside_). Wonderful! + +HAR. Tell me, can you give us a good supper? + +JAC. Yes, if you give me plenty of money. + +HAR. The deuce! Always money! I think they have nothing else to say +except money, money, money! Always that same word in their mouth, +money! They always speak of money! It's their pillow companion, money! + +VAL. Never did I hear such an impertinent answer! Would you call it +wonderful to provide good cheer with plenty of money? Is it not the +easiest thing in the world? The most stupid could do as much. But a +clever man should talk of a good supper with little money. + +JAC. A good supper with little money? + +VAL. Yes. + +JAC. (_to_ VALÈRE). Indeed, Mr. Steward, you will oblige me greatly by +telling me your secret, and also, if you like, by filling my place as +cook; for you keep on meddling here, and want to be everything. + +HAR. Hold your tongue. What shall we want? + +JAC. Ask that of Mr. Steward, who will give you good cheer with little +money. + +HAR. Do you hear? I am speaking to you, and expect you to answer me. + +JAC. How many will there be at your table? + +HAR. Eight or ten; but you must only reckon for eight. When there is +enough for eight, there is enough for ten. + +VAL. That is evident. + +JAC. Very well, then; you must have four tureens of soup and five side +dishes; soups, entrées ... + +HAR. What! do you mean to feed a whole town? + +JAC. Roast ... + +HAR. (_clapping his hand on_ MASTER JACQUES' _mouth_). Ah! Wretch! you +are eating up all my substance. + +JAC. Entremêts ... + +HAR. (_again putting his hand on_ JACQUES' _mouth_). More still? + +VAL. (_to_ JACQUES). Do you mean to kill everybody? And has your +master invited people in order to destroy them with over-feeding? Go +and read a little the precepts of health, and ask the doctors if there +is anything so hurtful to man as excess in eating. + +HAR. He is perfectly right. + +VAL. Know, Master Jacques, you and people like you, that a table +overloaded with eatables is a real cut-throat; that, to be the true +friends of those we invite, frugality should reign throughout the +repast we give, and that according to the saying of one of the +ancients, "We must eat to live, and not live to eat." + +HAR. Ah! How well the man speaks! Come near, let me embrace you for +this last saying. It is the finest sentence that I have ever heard in +my life: "We must live to eat, and not eat to live." No; that isn't +it. How do you say it? + +VAL. That we must eat to live, and not live to eat. + +HAR. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES). Yes. Do you hear that? (_To_ VALÈRE) Who +is the great man who said that? + +VAL. I do not exactly recollect his name just now. + +HAR. Remember to write down those words for me. I will have them +engraved in letters of gold over the mantel-piece of my dining-room. + +VAL. I will not fail. As for your supper, you had better let me manage +it. I will see that it is all as it should be. + +HAR. Do so. + +JAC. So much the better; all the less work for me. + +HAR. (_to_ VALÈRE). We must have some of those things of which it is +not possible to eat much, and that satisfy directly. Some good fat +beans, and a pâté well stuffed with chestnuts. + +VAL. Trust to me. + +HAR. Now, Master Jacques, you must clean my carriage. + +JAC. Wait a moment; this is to the coachman. (JACQUES _puts on his +coat._) You say ... + +HAR. That you must clean my carriage, and have my horses ready to +drive to the fair. + +JAC. Your horses! Upon my word, Sir, they are not at all in a +condition to stir. I won't tell you that they are laid up, for the +poor things have got nothing to lie upon, and it would not be telling +the truth. But you make them keep such rigid fasts that they are +nothing but phantoms, ideas, and mere shadows of horses. + +HAR. They are much to be pitied. They have nothing to do. + +JAC. And because they have nothing to do, must they have nothing to +eat? It would be much better for them, poor things, to work much and +eat to correspond. It breaks my heart to see them so reduced; for, in +short, I love my horses; and when I see them suffer, it seems as if it +were myself. Every day I take the bread out of my own mouth to feed +them; and it is being too hard-hearted, Sir, to have no compassion +upon one's neighbour. + +HAR. It won't be very hard work to go to the fair. + +JAC. No, Sir. I haven't the heart to drive them; it would go too much +against my conscience to use the whip to them in the state they are +in. How could you expect them to drag a carriage? They have not even +strength enough to drag themselves along. + +VAL. Sir, I will ask our neighbour, Picard, to drive them; +particularly as we shall want his help to get the supper ready. + +JAC. Be it so. I had much rather they should die under another's hand +than under mine. + +VAL. Master Jacques is mightily considerate. + +JAC. Mr. Steward is mightily indispensable. + +HAR. Peace. + +JAC. Sir, I can't bear these flatteries, and I can see that, whatever +this man does, his continual watching after the bread, wine, wood, +salt, and candles, is done but to curry favour and to make his court +to you. I am indignant to see it all; and I am sorry to hear every day +what is said of you; for, after all, I have a certain tenderness for +you; and, except my horses, you are the person I like most in the +world. + +HAR. And I would know from you, Master Jacques, what it is that is +said of me. + +JAC. Yes, certainly, Sir, if I were sure you would not get angry with +me. + +HAR. No, no; never fear. + +JAC. Excuse me, but I am sure you will be angry. + +HAR. No, on the contrary, you will oblige me. I should be glad to know +what people say of me. + +JAC. Since you wish it, Sir, I will tell you frankly that you are the +laughing-stock of everybody; that they taunt us everywhere by a +thousand jokes on your account, and that nothing delights people more +than to make sport of you, and to tell stories without end about your +stinginess. One says that you have special almanacks printed, where +you double the ember days and vigils, so that you may profit by the +fasts to which you bind all your house; another, that you always have +a ready-made quarrel for your servants at Christmas time or when they +leave you, so that you may give them nothing. One tells a story how +not long since you prosecuted a neighbour's cat because it had eaten +up the remainder of a leg of mutton; another says that one night you +were caught stealing your horses' oats, and that your coachman,--that +is the man who was before me,--gave you, in the dark, a good sound +drubbing, of which you said nothing. In short, what is the use of +going on? We can go nowhere but we are sure to hear you pulled to +pieces. You are the butt and jest and byword of everybody; and never +does anyone mention you but under the names of miser, stingy, mean, +niggardly fellow and usurer. + +HAR. (_beating_ JACQUES). You are a fool, a rascal, a scoundrel, and +an impertinent wretch. + +JAC. There, there! Did not I know how it would be? You would not +believe me. I told you I should make you angry if I spoke the truth? + +HAR. Learn how to speak. + + +SCENE VI.--VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES. + +VAL. (_laughing_). Well, Master Jacques, your frankness is badly +rewarded, I fear. + +JAC. S'death! Mr. Upstart, you who assume the man of consequence, it +is no business of yours as far as I can see. Laugh at your own +cudgelling when you get it, and don't come here and laugh at mine. + +VAL. Ah! Master Jacques, don't get into a passion, I beg of you. + +JAC. (_aside_). He is drawing in his horns. I will put on a bold face, +and if he is fool enough to be afraid of me, I will pay him back +somewhat. (_To_ VALÈRE) Do you know, Mr. Grinner, that I am not +exactly in a laughing humour, and that if you provoke me too much, I +shall make you laugh after another fashion. (JACQUES _pushes_ VALÈRE +_to the farther end of the stage, threatening him_.) + +VAL. Gently, gently. + +JAC. How gently? And if it does not please me to go gently? + +VAL. Come, come! What are you about? + +JAC. You are an impudent rascal. + +VAL. Master Jacques.... + +JAC. None of your Master Jacques here! If I take up a stick, I shall +soon make you feel it. + +VAL. What do you mean by a stick? (_Drives back_ JACQUES _in his +turn_.) + +JAC. No; I don't say anything about that. + +VAL. Do you know, Mr. Conceit, that I am a man to give you a drubbing +in good earnest? + +JAC. I have no doubt of it. + +VAL. That, after all, you are nothing but a scrub of a cook? + +JAC. I know it very well. + +VAL. And that you don't know me yet? + +JAC. I beg your pardon. + +VAL. You will beat me, you say? + +JAC. I only spoke in jest. + +VAL. I don't like your jesting, and (_beating_ JACQUES) remember that +you are but a sorry hand at it. + +JAC. (_alone_). Plague take all sincerity; it is a bad trade. I give +it up for the future, and will cease to tell the truth. It is all very +well for my master to beat me; but as for that Mr. Steward, what right +has he to do it? I will be revenged on him if I can. + + +SCENE VII.--MARIANNE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES. + +FRO. Do you know if your master is at home? + +JAC. Yes, he is indeed; I know it but too well. + +FRO. Tell him, please, that we are here. + + +SCENE VIII.--MARIANNE, FROSINE. + +MAR. Ah! Frosine, how strange I feel, and how I dread this interview! + +FRO. Why should you? What can you possibly dread? + +MAR. Alas! can you ask me? Can you not understand the alarms of a +person about to see the instrument of torture to which she is to be +tied. + +FRO. I see very well that to die agreeably, Harpagon is not the +torture you would embrace; and I can judge by your looks that the fair +young man you spoke of to me is still in your thoughts. + +MAR. Yes, Frosine; it is a thing I do not wish to deny. The respectful +visits he has paid at our house have left, I confess, a great +impression on my heart. + +FRO. But do you know who he is? + +MAR. No, I do not. All I know is that he is made to be loved; that if +things were left to my choice, I would much rather marry him than any +other, and that he adds not a little to the horrible dread that I have +of the husband they want to force upon me. + +FRO. Oh yes! All those dandies are very pleasant, and can talk +agreeably enough, but most of them are as poor as church mice; and it +is much better for you to marry an old husband, who gives you plenty +of money. I fully acknowledge that the senses somewhat clash with the +end I propose, and that there are certain little inconveniences to be +endured with such a husband; but all that won't last; and his death, +believe me, will soon put you in a position to take a more pleasant +husband, who will make amends for all. + +MAR. Oh, Frosine! What a strange state of things that, in order to be +happy, we must look forward to the death of another. Yet death will +not fall in with all the projects we make. + +FRO. You are joking. You marry him with the express understanding that +he will soon leave you a widow; it must be one of the articles of the +marriage contract. It would be very wrong in him not to die before +three months are over. Here he is himself. + +MAR. Ah! dear Frosine, what a face! + + +SCENE IX.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, FROSINE. + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). Do not be offended, fair one, if I come to you +with my glasses on. I know that your beauty is great enough to be seen +with the naked eye; but, still, it is with glasses that we look at the +stars, and I maintain and uphold that you are a star, the most +beautiful and in the land of stars. Frosine, she does not answer, +star, it seems to me, shows no joy at the sight of me. + +FRO. It is because she is still quite awe-struck, and young girls are +always shy at first, and afraid of showing what they feel. + +HAR. (_to_ FROSINE). You are right. (_To_ MARIANNE) My pretty darling, +there is my daughter coming to welcome you. + + +SCENE X.--HARPAGON, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE. + +MAR. I am very late in acquitting myself of the visit I owed you. + +ELI. You have done what I ought to have done. It was for me to have +come and seen you first. + +HAR. You see what a great girl she is; but ill weeds grow apace. + +MAR. (_aside to_ FROSINE). Oh, what an unpleasant man! + +HAR. (_to_ FROSINE). What does my fair one say? + +FRO. That she thinks you perfect. + +HAR. You do me too much honour, my adorable darling. + +MAR. (_aside_). What a dreadful creature! + +HAR. I really feel too grateful to you for these sentiments. + +MAR. (_aside_). I can bear it no longer. + + +SCENE XI.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, FROSINE, +BRINDAVOINE. + +HAR. Here is my son, who also comes to pay his respects to you. + +MAR. (_aside to_ FROSINE). Oh, Frosine! what a strange meeting! He is +the very one of whom I spoke to you. + +FRO. (_to_ MARIANNE). Well, that is extraordinary. + +HAR. You are surprised to see that my children can be so old; but I +shall soon get rid of both of them. + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). Madam, to tell you the truth, I little expected +such an event; and my father surprised me not a little when he told me +to-day of the decision he had come to. + +MAR. I can say the same thing. It is an unexpected meeting; and I +certainly was far from being prepared for such an event. + +CLE. Madam, my father cannot make a better choice, and it is a great +joy to me to have the honour of welcoming you here. At the same time, +I cannot say that I should rejoice if it were your intention to become +my stepmother. I must confess that I should find it difficult to pay +you the compliment; and it is a title, forgive me, that I cannot wish +you to have. To some this speech would seem coarse, but I feel that +you understand it. This marriage, Madam, is altogether repugnant to +me. You are not ignorant, now that you know who I am, how opposed it +is to all my own interests, and with my father's permission I hope you +will allow me to say that, if things depended on me, it would never +take place. + +HAR. (_aside_). What a very impertinent speech to make; and what a +confession to make to her! + +MAR. And as my answer, I must tell you that things are much the same +with me, and that, if you have any repugnance in seeing me your +stepmother, I shall have no less in seeing you my stepson. Do not +believe, I beg of you, that it is of my own will that this trouble has +come upon you. I should be deeply grieved to cause you the least +sorrow, and unless I am forced to it by a power I must obey, I give +you my word that, I will never consent to a marriage which is so +painful to you. + +HAR. She is right. A foolish speech deserves a foolish answer. I beg +your pardon, my love, for the impertinence of my son. He is a silly +young fellow, who has not yet learnt the value of his own words. + +MAR. I assure you that he has not at all offended me. I am thankful, +on the contrary, that he has spoken so openly. I care greatly for such +a confession from him, and if he had spoken differently, I should feel +much less esteem for him. + +HAR. It is very kind of you to excuse him thus. Time will make him +wiser, and you will see that his feelings will change. + +CLE. No, father, they will never change; and I earnestly beg of you, +Madam, to believe me. + +HAR. Did ever anybody see such folly? He is becoming worse and worse. + +CLE. Would you have me false to my inmost feelings? + +HAR. Again! Change your manners, if you please. + +CLE. Very well, since you wish me to speak differently. Allow me, +Madam, to take for a moment my father's place; and forgive me if I +tell you that I never saw in the world anybody more charming than you +are; that I can understand no happiness to equal that of pleasing you, +and that to be your husband is a glory, a felicity, I should prefer to +the destinies of the greatest princes upon earth. Yes, Madam, to +possess you is, in my mind, to possess the best of all treasures; to +obtain you is all my ambition. There is nothing I would not do for so +precious a conquest, and the most powerful obstacles ... + +HAR. Gently, gently, my son, if you please. + +CLE. These are complimentary words which I speak to her in your name. + +HAR. Bless me! I have a tongue of my own to explain my feelings, and I +really don't care for such an advocate as you... Here, bring us some +chairs. + +FRO. No; I think it is better for us to go at once to the fair, in +order to be back earlier, and have plenty of time for talking. + +HAR. (_to_ BRINDAVOINE). Have the carriage ready at once. + + +SCENE XII.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, FROSINE. + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). I hope you will excuse me, my dear, but I forgot +to order some refreshments for you, before you went out. + +CLE. I have thought of it, father, and have ordered to be brought in +here some baskets of China oranges, sweet citrons, and preserves, +which I sent for in your name. + +HAR. (_aside, to_ VALÈRE). Valère! + +VAL. (_aside, to_ HARPAGON). He has lost his senses! + +CLE. You are afraid, father, that it will not be enough? I hope, +Madam, that you will have the kindness to excuse it. + +MAR. It was by no means necessary. + +CLE. Did you ever see, Madam, a more brilliant diamond than the one my +father has upon his finger? + +MAR. It certainly sparkles very much. + +CLE. (_taking the diamond off his father's finger_). You must see it +near. + +MAR. It is a beautiful one; it possesses great lustre. + +CLE. (_steps before_ MARIANNE, _who wants to restore it_). No, Madam, +it is in hands too beautiful; it is a present my father gives you. + +HAR. I? + +CLE. Is it not true, father, that you wish her to keep it for your +sake? + +HAR. (_aside, to his son_). What? + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). A strange question indeed! He is making me signs +that I am to force you to accept it. + +MAR. I would not.... + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). I beg of you.... He would not take it back. + +HAR. (_aside_). I am bursting with rage! + +MAR. It would be ... + +CLE. (_still hindering_ MARIANNE _from returning it_). No; I tell you, +you will offend him. + +MAR. Pray ... + +CLE. By no means. + +HAR. (_aside_). Plague take ... + +CLE. He is perfectly shocked at your refusal. + +HAR. (_aside, to his son_). Ah! traitor! + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). You see he is in despair. + +HAR. (_aside, to his son, threatening him_). You villain! + +CLE. Really, father, it is not my fault. I do all I can to persuade +her to accept it; but she is obstinate. + +HAR. (_in a rage, aside to his son_). Rascal! + +CLE. You are the cause, Madam, of my father scolding me. + +HAR. (_aside, with the same looks_). Scoundrel! + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). You will make him ill; for goodness' sake, +hesitate no longer. + +FRO. (_to_ MARIANNE). Why so much ceremony? Keep the ring, since the +gentleman wishes you to. + +MAR. (_to_ HARPAGON). I will keep it now, Sir, in order not to make +you angry, and I shall take another opportunity of returning it to +you. + + +SCENE XIII.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, FROSINE, BRINDAVOINE. + +BRIND. Sir, there is a gentleman here who wants to speak to you. + +HAR. Tell him that I am engaged, and that I cannot see him to-day. + +BRIND. He says he has some money for you. + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). Pray, excuse me; I will come back directly. + + +SCENE XIV.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, FROSINE, LA MERLUCHE. + +LA MER. (_comes in running, and throws_ HARPAGON _down_). Sir.... + +HAR. Oh! he has killed me. + +CLE. What's the matter, father? Have you hurt yourself? + +HAR. The wretch must have been bribed by some of my debtors to break +my neck. + +VAL. (_to_ HARPAGON). There is nothing serious. + +LA MER. (_to_ HARPAGON). I beg your pardon, Sir; I thought I had +better run fast to tell you.... + +HAR. What? + +LA MER. That your two horses have lost their shoes. + +HAR. Take them quickly to the smith. + +CLE. In the meantime, father, I will do the honours of the house for +you, and take this lady into the garden, where lunch will be brought. + + +SCENE XV.--HARPAGON, VALÈRE. + +HAR. Valère, look after all this; and take care, I beseech you, to +save as much of it as you can, so that we may send it back to the +tradesman again. + +VAL. I will. + +HAR. (_alone_). Miscreant! do you mean to ruin me? + + + + +ACT IV. + +SCENE I.--CLÉANTE, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, FROSINE. + + +CLE. Let us come in here; we shall be much better. There is no one +about us that we need be afraid of, and we can speak openly. + +ELI. Yes, Madam, my brother has told me of the love he has for you. I +know what sorrow and anxiety such trials as these may cause, and I +assure you that I have the greatest sympathy for you. + +MAR. I feel it a great comfort in my trouble to have the sympathy of a +person like you, and I entreat you, Madam, ever to retain for me a +friendship so capable of softening the cruelty of my fate. + +FRO. You really are both very unfortunate not to have told me of all +this before. I might certainly have warded off the blow, and not have +carried things so far. + +CLE. What could I do? It is my evil destiny which has willed it so. +But you, fair Marianne, what have you resolved to do? What resolution +have you taken? + +MAR. Alas! Is it in my power to take any resolution? And, dependent as +I am, can I do anything else except form wishes? + +CLE. No other support for me in your heart? Nothing but mere wishes? +No pitying energy? No kindly relief? No active affection? + +MAR. What am I to say to you? Put yourself in my place, and judge what +I can possibly do. Advise me, dispose of me, I trust myself entirely +to you, for I am sure that you will never ask of me anything but what +is modest and seemly. + +CLE. Alas! to what do you reduce me when you wish me to be guided +entirely by feelings of strict duty and of scrupulous propriety. + +MAR. But what would you have me do? Even if I were, for you, to divest +myself of the many scruples which our sex imposes on us, I have too +much regard for my mother, who has brought me up with great +tenderness, for me to give her any cause of sorrow. Do all you can +with her. Strive to win her. I give you leave to say and do all you +wish; and if anything depends upon her knowing the true state of my +feelings, by all means tell her what they are; indeed I will do it +myself if necessary. + +CLE. Frosine, dear Frosine, will you not help us? + +FRO. Indeed, I should like to do so, as you know. I am not naturally +unkind. Heaven has not given me a heart of flint, and I feel but too +ready to help when I see young people loving each other in all +earnestness and honesty. What can we do in this case? + +CLE. Try and think a little. + +MAR. Advise us. + +ELI. Invent something to undo what you have done. + +FRO. Rather a difficult piece of business. (_To_ MARIANNE) As far as +your mother is concerned, she is not altogether unreasonable and we +might succeed in making her give to the son the gift she reserved for +the father. (_To_ CLÉANTE) But the most disheartening part of it all +is that your father is your father. + +CLE. Yes, so it is. + +FRO. I mean that he will bear malice if he sees that he is refused, +and he will be in no way disposed afterwards to give his consent to +your marriage. It would be well if the refusal could be made to come +from him, and you ought to try by some means or other to make him +dislike you, Marianne. + +CLE. You are quite right. + +FRO. Yes, right enough, no doubt. That is what ought to be done; but +how in the world are we to set about it? Wait a moment. Suppose we had +a somewhat elderly woman with a little of the ability which I possess, +and able sufficiently well to represent a lady of rank, by means of a +retinue made up in haste, and of some whimsical title of a marchioness +or viscountess, whom we would suppose to come from Lower Brittany. I +should have enough power over your father to persuade him that she is +a rich woman, in possession, besides her houses, of a hundred thousand +crowns in ready money; that she is deeply in love with him, and that +she would marry him at any cost, were she even to give him all her +money by the marriage contract. I have no doubt he would listen to the +proposal. For certainly he loves you very much, my dear, but he loves +money still better. When once he has consented to your marriage, it +does not signify much how he finds out the true state of affairs about +our marchioness. + +CLE. All that is very well made up. + +FRO. Leave it to me; I just remember one of my friends who will do +beautifully. + +CLE. Depend on my gratitude, Frosine, if you succeed. But, dear +Marianne, let us begin, I beg of you, by gaining over your mother; it +would be a great deal accomplished if this marriage were once broken +off. Make use, I beseech you, of all the power that her tenderness for +you gives you over her. Display without hesitation those eloquent +graces, those all-powerful charms, with which Heaven has endowed your +eyes and lips; forget not, I beseech you, those sweet persuasions, +those tender entreaties, those loving caresses to which, I feel, +nothing could be refused. + +MAR. I will do all I can, and will forget nothing. + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, FROSINE. + +HAR. (_aside, and without being seen_). Ah! ah! my son is kissing the +hand of his intended stepmother, and his intended stepmother does not +seem much averse to it! Can there be any mystery in all this? + +ELI. Here comes my father. + +HAR. The carriage is quite ready, and you can start when you like. + +CLE. Since you are not going, father, allow me to take care of them. + +HAR. No, stop here; they can easily take care of themselves, and I +want you. + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE. + +HAR. Well, now, all consideration of stepmother aside, tell me what do +you think of this lady? + +CLE. What I think of her? + +HAR. Yes, what do you think of her appearance, her figure, her beauty +and intelligence? + +CLE. So, so. + +HAR. But still? + +CLE. To tell you the truth, I did not find her such as I expected. Her +manner is that of a thorough coquette, her figure is rather awkward, +her beauty very middling, and her intelligence of the meanest order. +Do not suppose that I say this to make you dislike her; for if I must +have a stepmother, I like the idea of this one as well as of any +other. + +HAR. You spoke to her just now, nevertheless.... + +CLE. I paid her several compliments in your name, but it was to please +you. + +HAR. So then you don't care for her? + +CLE. Who? I? Not in the least. + +HAR. I am sorry for it, for that puts an end to a scheme which had +occurred to me. Since I have seen her here, I have been thinking of my +own age; and I feel that people would find fault with me for marrying +so young a girl. This consideration had made me determine to abandon +the project, and as I had demanded her in marriage, and had given her +my promise, I would have given her to you if it were not for the +dislike you have for her. + +CLE. To me? + +HAR. To you. + +CLE. In marriage? + +HAR. In marriage. + +CLE. It is true she is not at all to my taste; but, to please you, +father, I will bring myself to marry her, if you please. + +HAR. If I please! I am more reasonable than you think. I don't wish to +compel you. + +CLE. Excuse me! I will make an attempt to love her. + +HAR. No, no; a marriage cannot be happy where there is no love. + +CLE. That, my father, will, perhaps, come by and by, and it is said +that love is often the fruit of marriage. + +HAR. No, it is not right to risk it on the side of the man, and there +are some troublesome things I don't care to run the chance of. If you +had felt any inclination for her, you should have married her instead +of me, but as it is, I will return to my first intention and marry her +myself. + +CLE. Well, father, since things are so, I had better be frank with +you, and reveal our secret to you. The truth is that I have loved her +ever since I saw her one day on the promenade. I intended to ask you +today to let me marry her, and I was only deterred from it because you +spoke of marrying her, and because I feared to displease you. + +HAR. Have you ever paid her any visits? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. Many? + +CLE. Yes; considering how long we have been acquainted. + +HAR. You were well received. + +CLE. Very well, but without her knowing who I was; and that is why +Marianne was so surprised when she saw me today. + +HAR. Have you told her of your love, and of your intention of marrying +her? + +CLE. Certainly, and I also spoke a little to the mother on the +subject. + +HAR. Did she kindly receive your proposal for her daughter? + +CLE. Yes, very kindly. + +HAR. And does the daughter return your love? + +CLE. If I can believe appearances, she is certainly well disposed +towards me. + +HAR. (_aside_). Well! I am very glad to have found out this secret; it +is the very thing I wanted to know. (_To his son_) Now, look here, my +son, I tell you what. You will have, if you please, to get rid of your +love for Marianne, to cease to pay your attentions to a person I +intend for myself, and to marry very soon the wife I have chosen for +you. + +CLE. So, father, it is thus you deceive me! Very well, since things +are come to such a pass, I openly declare to you that I shall not give +up my love for Marianne. No! understand that henceforth there is +nothing from which I shall shrink in order to dispute her with you; +and if you have on your side the consent of the mother, perhaps I +shall have some other resources left to aid me. + +HAR. What, rascal! You dare to trespass on my grounds? + +CLE. It is you who trespass on mine. I was the first. + +HAR. Am I not your father, and do you not owe me respect? + +CLE. There are things in which children are not called upon to pay +deference to their fathers; and love is no respector of persons. + +HAR. My stick will make you know me better. + +CLE. All your threatenings are nothing to me. + +HAR. You will give up Marianne? + +CLE. Never! + +HAR. Bring me my stick. Quick, I say! my stick! + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, MASTER JACQUES. + +JAC. Hold! hold! Gentlemen, what does this mean? What are you thinking +of? + +CLE. I don't care a bit for it. + +JAC. (_to_ CLÉANTE). Ah! Sir, gently. + +HAR. He dares to speak to me with such impudence as that! + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). Ah! Sir, I beg of you. + +CLE. I shall keep to it. + +JAC. (_to_ CLÉANTE). What! to your father? + +HAR. Let me do it. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). What! to your son? To me it's different. + +HAR. I will make you judge between us, Master Jacques, so that you may +see that I have right on my side. + +JAC. Willingly. (_To_ CLÉANTE) Go a little farther back. + +HAR. There is a young girl I love and want to marry, and the scoundrel +has the impudence to love her also, and wants to marry her in spite of +me. + +JAC. Oh! he is wrong. + +HAR. Is it not an abominable thing to see a son who does not shrink +from becoming the rival of his father? And is it not his bounden duty +to refrain from interfering with my love? + +JAC. You are quite right; stop here, and let me go and speak to him. + +CLE. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES, _who comes near him_). Very well; if he +wants to make you a judge between us, I have no objection. I care +little who it is, and I don't mind referring our quarrel to you. + +JAC. You do me great honour. + +CLE. I am in love with a young girl who returns my affection, and who +receives kindly the offer of my heart; but my father takes it into his +head to disturb our love by asking her in marriage. + +JAC. He certainly is wrong. + +CLE. Is it not shameful for a man of his age to think of marrying? I +ask you if it is right for him to fall in love? and ought he not now +to leave that to younger men? + +JAC. You are quite right; he is not serious; let me speak a word or +two to him. (_To_ HARPAGON) Really, your son is not so extravagant as +you think, and is amenable to reason. He says that he is conscious of +the respect he owes you, and that he only got angry in the heat of the +moment. He will willingly submit to all you wish if you will only +promise to treat him more kindly than you do, and will give him in +marriage a person to his taste. + +HAR. Ah! tell him, Master Jacques, that he will obtain everything from +me on those terms, and that, except Marianne, I leave him free to +choose for his wife whomsoever he pleases. + +JAC. Leave that to me. (_To_ CLÉANTE) Really, your father is not so +unreasonable as you make him out to me; and he tells me that it is +your violence which irritated him. He only objects to your way of +doing things, and is quite ready to grant you all you want, provided +you will use gentle means and will give him the deference, respect, +and submission that a son owes to his father. + +CLE. Ah! Master Jacques, you can assure him that if he grants me +Marianne, he will always find me the most submissive of men, and that +I shall never do anything contrary to his pleasure. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). It's all right; he consents to what you say. + +HAR. Nothing could be better. + +JAC. (_to_ CLÉANTE). It's all settled; he is satisfied with your +promises. + +CLE. Heaven be praised! + +JAC. Gentlemen, you have nothing to do but to talk quietly over the +matter together; you are agreed now, and yet you were on the point of +quarrelling through want of understanding each other. + +CLE. My poor Jacques, I shall be obliged to you all my life. + +JAC. Don't mention it, Sir. + +HAR. You have given me great pleasure, Master Jacques, and deserve a +reward. (HARPAGON _feels in his pocket_, JACQUES _holds out his hand, +but_ HARPAGON _only pulls out his handkerchief, and says_,) Go; I will +remember it, I promise you. + +JAC. I thank you kindly, Sir. + + +SCENE V.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE. + +CLE. I beg your pardon, father, for having been angry. + +HAR. It is nothing. + +CLE. I assure you that I feel very sorry about it. + +HAR. I am very happy to see you reasonable again. + +CLE. How very kind of you so soon to forget my fault. + +HAR. One easily forgets the faults of children when they return to +their duty. + +CLE. What! you are not angry with me for my extravagant behaviour? + +HAR. By your submission and respectful conduct you compel me to forget +my anger. + +CLE. I assure you, father, I shall for ever keep in heart the +remembrance of all your kindness. + +HAR. And I promise you that, in future, you will obtain all you like +from me. + +CLE. Oh, father! I ask nothing more; it is sufficient for me that you +give me Marianne. + +HAR. What? + +CLE. I say, father, that I am only too thankful already for what you +have done, and that when you give me Marianne, you give me everything. + +HAR. Who talks of giving you Marianne? + +CLE. You, father. + +HAR. I? + +CLE. Yes. + +HAR. What! is it not you who promised to give her up? + +CLE. I! give her up? + +HAR. Yes. + +CLE. Certainly not. + +HAR. Did you not give up all pretensions to her? + +CLE. On the contrary, I am more determined than ever to have her. + +HAR. What, scoundrel! again? + +CLE. Nothing can make me change my mind. + +HAR. Let me get at you again, wretch! + +CLE. You can do as you please. + +HAR. I forbid you ever to come within my sight. + +CLE. As you like. + +HAR. I abandon you. + +CLE. Abandon me. + +HAR. I disown you. + +CLE. Disown me. + +HAR. I disinherit you. + +CLE. As you will. + +HAR. I give you my curse. + +CLE. I want none of your gifts. + + +SCENE VI.--CLÉANTE, LA FLÈCHE. + +LA FL. (_leaving the garden with a casket_). Ah! Sir, you are just in +the nick of time. Quick! follow me. + +CLE. What is the matter? + +LA FL. Follow me, I say. We are saved. + +CLE. How? + +LA FL. Here is all you want. + +CLE. What? + +LA FL. I have watched for this all day. + +CLE. What is it? + +LA FL. Your father's treasure that I have got hold of. + +CLE. How did you manage it? + +LA FL. I will tell you all about it. Let us be off. I can hear him +calling out. + + +SCENE VII.--HARPAGON, _from the garden, rushing in without his hat, +and crying_-- + +Thieves! thieves! assassins! murder! Justice, just heavens! I am +undone; I am murdered; they have cut my throat; they have stolen my +money! Who can it be? What has become of him? Where is he? Where is he +hiding himself? What shall I do to find him? Where shall I run? Where +shall I not run? Is he not here? Who is this? Stop! (_To himself, +taking hold of his own arm_) Give me back my money, wretch.... Ah...! +it is myself.... My mind is wandering, and I know not where I am, who +I am, and what I am doing. Alas! my poor money! my poor money! my +dearest friend, they have bereaved me of thee; and since thou art +gone, I have lost my support, my consolation, and my joy. All is ended +for me, and I have nothing more to do in the world! Without thee it is +impossible for me to live. It is all over with me; I can bear it no +longer. I am dying; I am dead; I am buried. Is there nobody who will +call me from the dead, by restoring my dear money to me, or by telling +me who has taken it? Ah! what is it you say? It is no one. Whoever has +committed the deed must have watched carefully for his opportunity, +and must have chosen the very moment when I was talking with my +miscreant of a son. I must go. I will demand justice, and have the +whole of my house put to the torture--my maids and my valets, my son, +my daughter, and myself too. What a crowd of people are assembled +here! Everyone seems to be my thief. I see no one who does not rouse +suspicion in me. Ha! what are they speaking of there? Of him who stole +my money? What noise is that up yonder? Is it my thief who is there? +For pity's sake, if you know anything of my thief, I beseech you to +tell me. Is he hiding there among you? They all look at me and laugh. +We shall see that they all have a share in the robbery. Quick! +magistrates, police, provosts, judges, racks, gibbets, and +executioners. I will hang everybody, and if I do not find my money, I +will hang myself afterwards. + + + + +ACT V. + +SCENE I.--HARPAGON, A POLICE OFFICER. + + +OFF. Leave that to me. I know my business. Thank Heaven! this is not +the first time I have been employed in finding out thieves; and I wish +I had as many bags of a thousand francs as I have had people hanged. + +HAR. Every magistrate must take this affair in hand; and if my money +is not found, I shall call justice against justice itself. + +OFF. We must take all needful steps. You say there was in that +casket...? + +HAR. Ten thousand crowns in cash. + +OFF. Ten thousand crowns! + +HAR. Ten thousand crowns. + +OFF. A considerable theft. + +HAR. There is no punishment great enough for the enormity of the +crime; and if it remain unpunished, the most sacred things are no +longer secure. + +OFF. In what coins was that sum? + +HAR. In good louis d'or and pistoles of full weight. + +OFF. Whom do you suspect of this robbery? + +HAR. Everybody. I wish you to take into custody the whole town and +suburbs. + +OFF. You must not, if you trust me, frighten anybody, but must use +gentle means to collect evidence, in order afterwards to proceed with +more rigour for the recovery of the sum which has been taken from you. + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES. + +JAC. (_at the end of the stage, turning back to the door by which he +came in_). I am coming back. Have his throat cut at once; have his +feet singed; put him in boiling water, and hang him up to the ceiling. + +HAR. What! Him who has robbed me? + +JAC. I was speaking of a sucking pig that your steward has just sent +me; and I want to have it dressed for you after my own fancy. + +HAR. This is no longer the question; and you have to speak of +something else to this gentleman. + +OFF. (_to_ JACQUES). Don't get frightened. I am not a man to cause any +scandal, and matters will be carried on by gentle means. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). Is this gentleman coming to supper with you? + +OFF. You must, in this case, my good man, hide nothing from your +master. + +JAC. Indeed, Sir, I will show you all I know, and will treat you in +the best manner I possibly can. + +OFF. That's not the question. + +JAC. If I do not give as good fare as I should like, it is the fault +of your steward, who has clipped my wings with the scissors of his +economy. + +HAR. Rascal! We have other matters to talk about than your supper; and +I want you to tell me what has become of the money which has been +stolen from me. + +JAC. Some money has been stolen from you? + +HAR. Yes, you rascal! And I'll have you hanged if you don't give it me +back again. + +OFF. (_to_ HARPAGON). Pray, don't be hard upon him. I see by his looks +that he is an honest fellow, and that he will tell you all you want to +know without going to prison. Yes, my friend, if you confess, no harm +shall come to you, and you shall be well rewarded by your master. Some +money has been stolen from him, and it is not possible that you know +nothing about it. + +JAC. (_aside_). The very thing I wanted in order to be revenged of our +steward. Ever since he came here, he has been the favourite, and his +advice is the only one listened to. Moreover, I have forgotten neither +the cudgelling of to-day nor ... + +HAR. What are you muttering about there? + +OFF. (_to_ HARPAGON). Leave him alone. He is preparing himself to +satisfy you; I told you that he was an honest fellow. + +JAC. Sir, since you want me to tell you what I know, I believe it is +your steward who has done this. + +HAR. Valère? + +JAC. Yes. + +HAR. He who seemed so faithful to me! + +JAC. Himself. I believe that it is he who has robbed you. + +HAR. And what makes you believe it? + +JAC. What makes me believe it? + +HAR. Yes. + +JAC. I believe it...because I believe it. + +OFF. But you must tell us the proofs you have. + +HAR. Did you see him hanging about the place where I had put my money? + +JAC. Yes, indeed. Where was your money? + +HAR. In the garden. + +JAC. Exactly; I saw him loitering about in the garden; and in what was +your money? + +HAR. In a casket. + +JAC. The very thing. I saw him with a casket. + +HAR. And this casket, what was it like? I shall soon see if it is +mine. + +JAC. What it was like? + +HAR. Yes. + +JAC. It was like ... like a casket. + +OFF. Of course. But describe it a little, to see if it is the same. + +JAC. It was a large casket. + +HAR. The one taken from me is a small one. + +JAC. Yes, small if you look at it in that way; but I call it large +because of what it contains. + +HAR. And what colour was it? + +JAC. What colour? + +OFF. Yes. + +JAC. Of a colour ... of a certain colour.... Can't you help me to find +the word? + +HAR. Ugh! + +JAC. Red; isn't it? + +HAR. No, grey. + +JAC. Ha! yes, reddish-grey! That's what I meant. + +HAR. There is no doubt about it, it's my casket for certain. Write +down his evidence, Sir! Heavens! whom can we trust after that? We must +never swear to anything, and I believe now that I might rob my own +self. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). There he is coming back, Sir; I beg of you not +to go and tell him that it was I who let it all out, Sir. + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES. + +HAR. Come, come near, and confess the most abominable action, the most +horrible crime, that was ever committed. + +VAL. What do you want, Sir? + +HAR. What, wretch! you do not blush for shame after such a crime? + +VAL. Of what crime do you speak? + +HAR. Of what crime I speak? Base villain, as if you did not know what +I mean! It is in vain for you to try to hide it; the thing is +discovered, and I have just heard all the particulars. How could you +thus abuse my kindness, introduce yourself on purpose into my house to +betray me, and to play upon me such an abominable trick? + +VAL. Sir, since everything is known to you, I will neither deny what I +have done nor will I try to palliate it. + +JAC. (_aside_). Oh! oh! Have I guessed the truth? + +VAL. I intended to speak to you about it, and I was watching for a +favourable opportunity; but, as this is no longer possible, I beg of +you not to be angry, and to hear my motives. + +HAR. And what fine motives can you possibly give me, infamous thief? + +VAL. Ah! Sir, I do not deserve these names. I am guilty towards you, +it is true; but, after all, my fault is pardonable. + +HAR. How pardonable? A premeditated trick, and such an assassination +as this! + +VAL. I beseech you not to be so angry with me. When you have heard all +I have to say, you will see that the harm is not so great as you make +it out to be. + +HAR. The harm not so great as I make it out to be! What! my heart's +blood, scoundrel! + +VAL. Your blood, Sir, has not fallen into bad hands. My rank is high +enough not to disgrace it, and there is nothing in all this for which +reparation cannot be made. + +HAR. It is, indeed, my intention that you should restore what you have +taken from me. + +VAL. Your honour, Sir, shall be fully satisfied. + +HAR. Honour is not the question in all this. But tell me what made you +commit such a deed? + +VAL. Alas! do you ask it? + +HAR. Yes, I should rather think that I do. + +VAL. A god, Sir, who carries with him his excuses for all he makes +people do: Love. + +HAR. Love? + +VAL. Yes. + +HAR. Fine love that! fine love, indeed! the love of my gold! + +VAL. No, Sir, it is not your wealth that has tempted me, it is not +that which has dazzled me; and I swear never to pretend to any of your +possessions, provided you leave me what I have. + +HAR. In the name of all the devils, no, I shall not leave it to you. +But did anyone ever meet with such villainy! He wishes to keep what he +has robbed me of! + +VAL. Do you call that a robbery? + +HAR. If I call that a robbery? A treasure like that! + +VAL. I readily acknowledge that it is a treasure, and the most +precious one you have. But it will not be losing it to leave it to me. +I ask you on my knees to leave in my possession this treasure so full +of charms; and if you do right, you will grant it to me. + +HAR. I will do nothing of the kind. What in the world are you driving +at? + +VAL. We have pledged our faith to each other, and have taken an oath +never to forsake one another. + +HAR. The oath is admirable, and the promise strange enough! + +VAL. Yes, we are engaged to each other for ever. + +HAR. I know pretty well how to disengage you, I assure you of that. + +VAL. Nothing but death can separate us. + +HAR. You must be devilishly bewitched by my money. + +VAL. I have told you already, Sir, that it is not self-interest which +has prompted me to what I have done. It was not that which prompted my +heart; a nobler motive inspired me. + +HAR. We shall hear presently that it is out of Christian charity that +he covets my money! But I will put a stop to all this, and justice, +impudent rascal, will soon give me satisfaction. + +VAL. You will do as you please, and I am ready to suffer all the +violence you care to inflict upon me, but I beg of you to believe, at +least, that if there is any harm done, I am the only one guilty, and +that your daughter has done nothing wrong in all this. + +HAR. I should think not! It would be strange, indeed, if my daughter +had a share in this crime. But I will have that treasure back again, +and you must confess to what place you have carried it off.[6] + +VAL. I have not carried it off, and it is still in your house. + +HAR. (_aside_). O my beloved casket! (_To_ VALÈRE) My treasure has not +left my house? + +VAL. No, Sir. + +HAR. Well, then, tell me, have you taken any liberties with...? + +VAL. Ah! Sir, you wrong us both; the flame with which I burn is too +pure, too full of respect. + +HAR. (_aside_). He burns for my casket! + +VAL. I had rather die than show the least offensive thought: I found +too much modesty and too much purity for that. + +HAR. (_aside_). My cash-box modest! + +VAL. All my desires were limited to the pleasures of sight, and +nothing criminal has profaned the passion those fair eyes have +inspired me with. + +HAR. (_aside_). The fair eyes of my cash-box! He speaks of it as a +lover does of his mistress. + +VAL. Dame Claude knows the whole truth, and she can bear witness to +it. + +HAR. Hallo! my servant is an accomplice in this affair? + +VAL. Yes, Sir, she was a witness to our engagement; and it was after +being sure of the innocence of my love that she helped me to persuade +your daughter to engage herself to me. + +HAR. Ah! (_Aside_) Has the fear of justice made him lose his senses? +(_To_ VALÈRE) What rubbish are you talking about my daughter? + +VAL. I say, Sir, that I found it most difficult to make her modesty +consent to what my love asked of her. + +HAR. The modesty of whom? + +VAL. Of your daughter; and it was only yesterday that she could make +up her mind to sign our mutual promise of marriage. + +HAR. My daughter has signed a promise of marriage? + +VAL. Yes, Sir, and I have also signed. + +HAR. O heavens! another misfortune! + +JAC. (_to the_ OFFICER). Write, Sir, write. + +HAR. Aggravation of misery! Excess of despair! (_To the_ OFFICER) Sir, +discharge your duty, and draw me up an indictment against him as a +thief and a suborner. + +JAC. As a thief and a suborner. + +VAL. These are names which I do not deserve, and when you know who I +am.... + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, VALÈRE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES, +THE POLICE OFFICER. + +HAR. Ah! guilty daughter! unworthy of a father like me! is it thus +that you put into practice the lessons I have given you? You give your +love to an infamous thief, and engage yourself to him without my +consent! But you shall both be disappointed. (_To_ ÉLISE) Four strong +walls will answer for your conduct in the future; (_to_ VALÈRE) and +good gallows, impudent thief, shall do me justice for your audacity. + +VAL. Your anger will be no judge in this affair, and I shall at least +have a hearing before I am condemned. + +HAR. I was wrong to say gallows; you shall be broken alive on the +wheel. + +ELI. (_kneeling to her father_). Ah! my father, be more merciful, I +beseech you, and do not let your paternal authority drive matters to +extremes. Do not suffer yourself to be carried away by the first +outburst of your anger, but give yourself time to consider what you +do. Take the trouble of inquiring about him whose conduct has offended +you. He is not what you imagine, and you will think it less strange +that I should have given myself to him, when you know that without him +you would long ago have lost me for ever. Yes, father, it is he who +saved me from the great danger I ran in the waters, and to whom you +owe the life of that very daughter who ... + +HAR. All this is nothing; and it would have been much better for me if +he had suffered you to be drowned rather than do what he has done. + +ELI. My father, I beseech you, in the name of paternal love, grant +me ... + +HAR. No, no. I will hear nothing, and justice must have its course. + +JAC. (_aside_). You shall pay me for the blows you gave me. + +FRO. What a perplexing state of affairs! + + +SCENE V.--ANSELME, HARPAGON, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE, VALÈRE, THE +POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES. + +ANS. What can have happened, Mr. Harpagon? You are quite upset. + +HAR. Ah, Mr. Anselme, you see in me the most unfortunate of men; and +you can never imagine what vexation and disorder is connected with the +contract you have come to sign! I am attacked in my property; I am +attacked in my honour; and you see there a scoundrel and a wretch who +has violated the most sacred rights, who has introduced himself into +my house as a servant in order to steal my money, and seduce my +daughter. + +VAL. Who ever thought of your money about which you rave? + +HAR. Yes; they have given each other a promise of marriage. This +insult concerns you, Mr. Anselme; and it is you who ought to be +plaintiff against him, and who at your own expense ought to prosecute +him to the utmost, in order to be revenged. + +ANS. It is not my intention to force anybody to marry me, and to lay +claim to a heart which has already bestowed itself; but as far as your +interests are concerned, I am ready to espouse them as if they were my +own. + +HAR. This is the gentleman, an honest commissary, who has promised +that he will omit nothing of what concerns the duties of his office. +(_To the_ OFFICER, _showing_ VALÈRE) Charge him, Sir, as he ought to +be, and make matters very criminal. + +VAL. I do not see what crime they can make of my passion for your +daughter, nor the punishment you think I ought to be condemned to for +our engagement; when it is known who I am ... + +HAR. I don't care a pin for all those stories, and the world is full, +nowadays, of those pretenders to nobility, of those impostors, who +take advantage of their obscurity and deck themselves out insolently +with the first illustrious name that comes into their head. + +VAL. Know that I am too upright to adorn myself with a name which is +not mine, and that all Naples can bear testimony to my birth! + +ANS. Softly! Take care of what you are about to say. You speak before +a man to whom all Naples is known, and who can soon see if your story +is true. + +VAL. (_proudly putting on his hat_). I am not the man to fear +anything; and if all Naples is known to you, you know who was Don +Thomas d'Alburci. + +ANS. Certainly; I know who he is, and few people know him better than +I do. + +HAR. I care neither for Don Thomas nor Don Martin. (_Seeing two +candles burning, he blows one out_.) + +ANS. Have patience and let him speak; we shall soon know what he has +to say of him. + +VAL. That it is to him that I owe my birth. + +ANS. To him? + +VAL. Yes. + +ANS. Nonsense; you are laughing. Try and make out a more likely story, +and don't pretend to shelter yourself under such a piece of imposture. + +VAL. Consider your words better before you speak; it is no imposture, +and I say nothing here that I cannot prove. + +ANS. What! You dare to call yourself the son of Don Thomas d'Alburci? + +VAL. Yes, I dare to do so; and I am ready to maintain the truth +against anyone, who ever he may be. + +ANS. This audacity is marvellous. Learn to your confusion that it is +now at least sixteen years ago since the man of whom you speak died in +a shipwreck at sea with his wife and children, when he was trying to +save their lives from the cruel persecutions which accompanied the +troubles at Naples, and which caused the banishment of several noble +families. + +VAL. Yes; but learn to your confusion that his son, seven years of +age, was, with a servant, saved from the wreck by a Spanish vessel, +and that this son is he who now speaks to you. Learn that the captain +of that ship, touched with compassion at my misfortune, loved me; that +he had me brought up as his own son, and that the profession of arms +has been my occupation ever since I was fit for it; that lately I +heard that my father is not dead, as I thought he was; that, passing +this way to go and find him out, an accident, arranged by heaven, +brought to my sight the charming Élise; that the sight of her made me +a slave to her beauty, and that the violence of my love and the +harshness of her father made me take the resolution to come into his +house disguised as a servant, and to send some one else to look after +my parents. + +ANS. But what other proofs have you besides your own words that all +this is not a fable based by you upon truth. + +VAL. What proofs? The captain of the Spanish vessel; a ruby seal which +belonged to my father; an agate bracelet which my mother put upon my +arm; and old Pedro, that servant who was saved with me from the wreck. + +MAR. Alas! I can answer here for what you have said; that you do not +deceive us; and all you say clearly tells me that you are my brother. + +VAL. You my sister! + +MAR. Yes, my heart was touched as soon as you began to speak; and our +mother, who will be delighted at seeing you, often told me of the +misfortunes of our family. Heaven spared us also in that dreadful +wreck; but our life was spared at the cost of our liberty, for my +mother and myself were taken up by pirates from the wreck of our +vessel. After ten years of slavery a lucky event gave us back to +liberty, and we returned to Naples, where we found all our property +sold, and could hear no news of our father. We embarked for Genoa, +where my mother went to gather what remained of a family estate which +had been much disputed. Leaving her unjust relatives, she came here, +where she has lived but a weary life. + +ANS. O heaven! how wonderful are thy doings, and how true it is that +it only belongs to thee to work miracles! Come to my arms, my +children, and share the joy of your happy father! + +VAL. You are our father? + +MAR. It was for you that my mother wept? + +ANS. Yes, my daughter; yes, my son; I am Don Thomas d'Alburci, whom +heaven saved from the waves, with all the money he had with him, and +who, after sixteen years, believing you all dead, was preparing, after +long journeys, to seek the consolations of a new family in marrying a +gentle and virtuous woman. The little security there was for my life +in Naples has made me abandon the idea of returning there, and having +found the means of selling what I had, I settled here under the name +of Anselme. I wished to forget the sorrows of a name associated with +so many and great troubles. + +HAR. (_to_ ANSELME). He is your son? + +ANS. Yes. + +HAR. That being so, I make you responsible for the ten thousand crowns +that he has stolen from me. + +ANS. He steal anything from you! + +HAR. Yes. + +VAL. Who said so? + +HAR. Master Jacques. + +VAL. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES). You say that? + +JAC. You see that I am not saying anything. + +HAR. He certainly did. There is the officer who has received his +deposition. + +VAL. Can you really believe me capable of such a base action? + +HAR. Capable or not capable, I must find my money. + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ANSELME, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, +FROSINE, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES, LA FLÈCHE. + +CLE. Do not grieve for your money, father, and accuse any one. I have +news of it, and I come here to tell you that if you consent to let me +marry Marianne, your money will be given back to you. + +HAR. Where is it? + +CLE. Do not trouble yourself about that. It is in a safe place, and I +answer for it; everything depends on your resolve. It is for you to +decide, and you have the choice either of losing Marianne or your +cash-box. + +HAR. Has nothing been taken out? + +CLE. Nothing at all. Is it your intention to agree to this marriage, +and to join your consent to that of her mother, who leaves her at +liberty to do as she likes? + +MAR. (_to_ CLÉANTE). But you do not know that this consent is no +longer sufficient, and that heaven has given me back a brother +(_showing_ VALÈRE), at the same time that it has given me back a +father (_showing_ ANSELME); and you have now to obtain me from him. + +ANS. Heaven, my dear children, has not restored you to me that I might +oppose your wishes. Mr. Harpagon, you must be aware that the choice of +a young girl is more likely to fall upon the son than upon the father. +Come, now, do not force people to say to you what is unnecessary, and +consent, as I do, to this double marriage. + +HAR. In order for me to be well advised, I must see my casket. + +CLE. You shall see it safe and sound. + +HAR. I have no money to give my children in marriage. + +ANS. Never mind, I have some; do not let this trouble you. + +HAR. Do you take upon yourself to defray the expenses of these two +weddings? + +ANS. Yes, I will take this responsibility upon myself. Are you +satisfied? + +HAR. Yes, provided you order me a new suit of clothes for the wedding. + +ANS. Agreed! Let us go and enjoy the blessings this happy day brings +us. + +OFF. Stop, Sirs, stop; softly, if you please. Who is to pay me for my +writing? + +HAR. We have nothing to do with your writing. + +OFF. Indeed! and yet I do not pretend to have done it for nothing. + +HAR. (_showing_ MASTER JACQUES). There is a fellow you can hang in +payment! + +JAC. Alas! what is one to do? I receive a good cudgelling for telling +the truth, and now they would hang me for lying. + +ANS. Mr. Harpagon, you must forgive him this piece of imposture. + +HAR. You will pay the officer then? + +ANS. Let it be so. Let us go quickly, my children, to share our joy +with your mother! + +HAR. And I to see my dear casket + +THE END + + + + + FOOTNOTES: + + [1] An old comic pastoral. + + [2] The real hero in Rabelais' 'Pantagruel.' + + [3] Frosine professes a knowledge of palmistry. + + [4] Old enemies. The Turks took Candia from the Venetians in 1669, + after a war of twenty years. + + [5] Molière makes use even of his own infirmities. Compare act i. scene + iii. This cough killed him at last. + + [6] A good deal of the mystification is lost in the translation through + the necessity of occasionally putting _it_ for _casket_, and _she_ for + Élise. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MISER (L'AVARE)*** + + +******* This file should be named 6923-8.txt or 6923-8.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/6/9/2/6923 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p class="noindent">Title: The Miser (L'Avare)</p> +<p class="noindent">Author: Molière</p> +<p class="noindent">Release Date: February 11, 2003 [eBook #6923]<br /> +Most recently updated: January 6, 2009</p> +<p class="noindent">Language: English</p> +<p class="noindent">Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p class="noindent">***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MISER (L'AVARE)***</p> +<p> </p> +<h3>E-text prepared by Delphine Lettau<br /> + and the<br /> + Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br /> + (http://www.pgdp.net)</h3> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<h1>THE MISER.</h1> + +<h2>(L'AVARE.)</h2> + +<h4>BY</h4> + +<p> </p> + +<h1>MOLIÈRE</h1> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<h4>TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH PROSE.</h4> + +<h4><i>WITH A SHORT INTRODUCTION AND EXPLANATORY NOTES.</i></h4> + +<h4>BY</h4> + +<p> </p> + +<h2>CHARLES HERON WALL</h2> + +<p> </p> + +<p>This play was acted for the first time on September 9, 1668. In it, +Molière has borrowed from Plautus, and has imitated several other +authors, but he far surpasses them in the treatment of his subject. +The picture of the miser, in whom love of money takes the place of all +natural affections, who not only withdraws from family intercourse, +but considers his children as natural enemies, is finely drawn, and +renders Molière's Miser altogether more dramatic and moral than those +of his predecessors.</p> + +<p>Molière acted the part of Harpagon.</p> + +<hr class="narrow" /> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>PERSONS REPRESENTED.</h3> + +<p> </p> + +<div class="ind8"> + <p class="noindent"> +<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>, <i>father to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>, <i>in love with</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>.<br /> + +<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>, +<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon's</span> <i>son, lover to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>.<br /> + +<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>, +<i>son to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Anselme</span>, +<i>and lover to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>.<br /> + +<span class="smallcaps">Anselme</span>, <i>father to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span> <i>and</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>.<br /> + +<span class="smallcaps">Master Simon</span>, <i>broker</i>.<br /> + + +<span class="smallcaps">Master Jacques</span>, <i>cook and coachman to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>.<br /> + + +<span class="smallcaps">La Flèche</span>, <i>valet to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>.<br /> + + +<span class="smallcaps">Brindavoine</span>, +<i>and</i> <span class="smallcaps">La Merluche</span>, +<i>lackeys to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>.<br /> + + +<span class="smallcaps">A Magistrate</span> <i>and his</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Clerk</span>.<br /> + + +<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>, +<i>daughter to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>.<br /> + + +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>, +<i>daughter to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Anselme</span>.<br /> + + +<span class="smallcaps">Frosine</span>, <i>an intriguing woman</i>.<br /> + + +<span class="smallcaps">Mistress Claude</span>, +<i>servant to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>.</p> + +<p class="noindent"><i>The scene is at</i> <span class="smallcaps">Paris</span>, +<i>in</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon's</span> <i>house</i>.</p> + +</div> +<p> </p> + +<hr class="narrow" /> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<h1>THE MISER.</h1> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + + +<h2>ACT I.</h2> + +<h3>SCENE I.——VALÈRE, ÉLISE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +What, dear Élise! you grow sad after having given me such dear +tokens of your love; and I see you sigh in the midst of my joy! Can +you regret having made me happy? and do you repent of the engagement +which my love has forced from you?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +No, Valère, I do not regret what I do for you; I feel carried on +by too delightful a power, and I do not even wish that things should +be otherwise than they are. Yet, to tell you the truth, I am very +anxious about the consequences; and I greatly fear that I love you +more than I should.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +What can you possibly fear from the affection you have shown me?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Everything; the anger of my father, the reproaches of my family, +the censure of the world, and, above all, Valère, a change in your +heart! I fear that cruel coldness with which your sex so often repays +the too warm proofs of an innocent love.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Alas! do not wrong me thus; do not judge of me by others. Think +me capable of everything, Élise, except of falling short of what I owe +to you. I love you too much for that; and my love will be as lasting +as my life!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Ah! Valère, all men say the same thing; all men are alike in +their words; their actions only show the difference that exists +between them.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Then why not wait for actions, if by them alone you can judge of +the truthfulness of my heart? Do not suffer your anxious fears to +mislead you, and to wrong me. Do not let an unjust suspicion destroy +the happiness which is to me dearer than life; but give me time to +show you by a thousand proofs the sincerity of my affection.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Alas! how easily do we allow ourselves to be persuaded by those +we love. I believe you, Valère; I feel sure that your heart is utterly +incapable of deceiving me, that your love is sincere, and that you +will ever remain faithful to me. I will no longer doubt that happiness +is near. If I grieve, it will only be over the difficulties of our +position, and the possible censures of the world.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. But why even this fear?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Oh, Valère! if everybody knew you as I do, I should not have much +to fear. I find in you enough to justify all I do for you; my heart +knows all your merit, and feels, moreover, bound to you by deep +gratitude. How can I forget that horrible moment when we met for the +first time? Your generous courage in risking your own life to save +mine from the fury of the waves; your tender care afterwards; your +constant attentions and your ardent love, which neither time nor +difficulties can lessen! For me you neglect your parents and your +country; you give up your own position in life to be a servant of my +father! How can I resist the influence that all this has over me? Is +it not enough to justify in my eyes my engagement to you? Yet, who +knows if it will be enough to justify it in the eyes of others? and +how can I feel sure that my motives will be understood?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +You try in vain to find merit in what I have done; it is by my +love alone that I trust to deserve you. As for the scruples you feel, +your father himself justifies you but too much before the world; and +his avarice and the distant way in which he lives with his children +might authorise stranger things still. Forgive me, my dear Élise, for +speaking thus of your father before you; but you know that, +unfortunately, on this subject no good can be said of him. However, if +I can find my parents, as I fully hope I shall, they will soon be +favourable to us. I am expecting news of them with great impatience; +but if none comes I will go in search of them myself.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Oh no! Valère, do not leave me, I entreat you. Try rather to +ingratiate yourself in my father's favour.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +You know how much I wish it, and you can see how I set about it. +You know the skilful manoeuvres I have had to use in order to +introduce myself into his service; under what a mask of sympathy and +conformity of tastes I disguise my own feelings to please him; and +what a part I play to acquire his affection. I succeed wonderfully +well, and I feel that to obtain favour with men, there are no better +means than to pretend to be of their way of thinking, to fall in with +their maxims, to praise their defects, and to applaud all their +doings. One need not fear to overdo it, for however gross the +flattery, the most cunning are easily duped; there is nothing so +impertinent or ridiculous which they will not believe, provided it be +well seasoned with praise. Honesty suffers, I acknowledge; but when we +have need of men, we may be allowed without blame to adapt ourselves +to their mode of thought; and if we have no other hope of success but +through such stratagem, it is not after all the fault of those who +flatter, but the fault of those who wish to be flattered.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Why do you not try also to gain my brother's goodwill, in case +the servant should betray our secret?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I am afraid I cannot humour them both. The temper of the father +is so different from that of the son that it would be difficult to be +the confidant of both at the same time. Rather try your brother +yourself; make use of the love that exists between you to enlist him +in our cause. I leave you, for I see him coming. Speak to him, sound +him, and see how far we can trust him.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +I greatly fear I shall never have the courage to speak to him of +my secret.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE II.——CLÉANTE, ÉLISE,</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I am very glad to find you alone, sister. I longed to speak to +you and to tell you a secret.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +I am quite ready to hear you, brother. What is it you have to +tell me?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Many things, sister, summed up in one word—love.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. You love?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Yes, I love. But, before I say more, let me tell you that I know +I depend on my father, and that the name of son subjects me to his +will; that it would be wrong to engage ourselves without the consent +of the authors of our being; that heaven has made them the masters of +our affections, and that it is our duty not to dispose of ourselves +but in accordance to their wish; that their judgment is not biassed by +their being in love themselves; that they are, therefore, much more +likely not to be deceived by appearances, and to judge better what is +good for us; that we ought to trust their experience rather than the +passion which blinds us; and that the rashness of youth often carries +us to the very brink of dangerous abysses. I know all this, my sister, +and I tell it you to spare you the trouble of saying it to me, for my +love will not let me listen to anything, and I pray you to spare me +your remonstrances.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Have you engaged yourself, brother, to her you love?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +No, but I have determined to do so; and I beseech you once more +not to bring forward any reason to dissuade me from it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Am I such a very strange person, brother?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +No, dear sister; but you do not love. You know not the sweet +power that love has upon our hearts; and I dread your wisdom.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Alas! my brother, let us not speak of my wisdom. There are very +few people in this world who do not lack wisdom, were it only once in +their lifetime; and if I opened my heart to you, perhaps you would +think me less wise than you are yourself.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Ah! would to heaven that your heart, like mine …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Let us speak of you first, and tell me whom it is you love.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +A young girl who has lately come to live in our neighbourhood, +and who seems made to inspire love in all those who behold her. +Nature, my dear sister, has made nothing more lovely; and I felt +another man the moment I saw her. Her name is Marianne, and she lives +with a good, kind mother, who is almost always ill, and for whom the +dear girl shows the greatest affection. She waits upon her, pities and +comforts her with a tenderness that would touch you to the very soul. +Whatever she undertakes is done in the most charming way; and in all +her actions shine a wonderful grace, a most winning gentleness, an +adorable modesty, a … ah! my sister, how I wish you had but seen +her.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +I see many things in what you tell me, dear brother; and it is +sufficient for me to know that you love her for me to understand what +she is.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I have discovered, without their knowing it, that they are not in +very good circumstances, and that, although they live with the +greatest care, they have barely enough to cover their expenses. Can +you imagine, my sister, what happiness it must be to improve the +condition of those we love; skilfully to bring about some relief to +the modest wants of a virtuous family? And think what grief it is for +me to find myself deprived of this great joy through the avarice of a +father, and for it to be impossible for me to give any proof of my +love to her who is all in all to me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Yes, I understand, dear brother, what sorrow this must be to you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +It is greater, my sister, than you can believe. For is there +anything more cruel than this mean economy to which we are subjected? +this strange penury in which we are made to pine? What good will it do +us to have a fortune if it only comes to us when we are not able to +enjoy it; if now to provide for my daily maintenance I get into debt +on every side; if both you and I are reduced daily to beg the help of +tradespeople in order to have decent clothes to wear? In short, I +wanted to speak to you that you might help me to sound my father +concerning my present feelings; and if I find him opposed to them, I +am determined to go and live elsewhere with this most charming girl, +and to make the best of what Providence offers us. I am trying +everywhere to raise money for this purpose; and if your circumstances, +dear sister, are like mine, and our father opposes us, let us both +leave him, and free ourselves from the tyranny in which his hateful +avarice has for so long held us.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +It is but too true that every day he gives us more and more +reason to regret the death of our mother, and that …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I hear his voice. Let us go a little farther and finish our talk. +We will afterwards join our forces to make a common attack on his hard +and unkind heart.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE III.——HARPAGON, LA FLÈCHE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Get out of here, this moment; and let me have no more of your +prating. Now then, be gone out of my house, you sworn pickpocket, you +veritable gallows' bird.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. (<i>aside</i>). +I never saw anything more wicked than this +cursed old man; and I truly believe, if I may be allowed to say so, +that he is possessed with a devil.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What are you muttering there between your teeth?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Why do you send me away?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You dare to ask me my reasons, you scoundrel? Out with you, this +moment, before I give you a good thrashing.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +What have I done to you?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Done this, that I wish you to be off.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +My master, your son, gave me orders to wait for him.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Go and wait for him in the street, then; out with you; don't stay +in my house, straight and stiff as a sentry, to observe what is going +on, and to make your profit of everything. I won't always have before +me a spy on all my affairs; a treacherous scamp, whose cursed eyes +watch all my actions, covet all I possess, and ferret about in every +corner to see if there is anything to steal.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +How the deuce could one steal anything from you? Are you a man +likely to be robbed when you put every possible thing under lock and +key, and mount guard day and night?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I will lock up whatever I think fit, and mount guard when and +where I please. Did you ever see such spies as are set upon me to take +note of everything I do? (<i>Aside</i>) I tremble for fear he should +suspect something of my money. (<i>Aloud</i>) Now, aren't you a fellow +to give rise to stories about my having money hid in my house?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +You have some money hid in your house?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +No, scoundrel! I do not say that. (<i>Aside</i>) I am furious! +(<i>Aloud</i>) I only ask if out of mischief you do not spread abroad +the report that I have some?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Oh! What does it matter whether you have money, or whether you +have not, since it is all the same to us?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>raising his hand to give</i> <span class="smallcaps">La Flèche</span> +<i>a blow</i>). Oh! oh! You +want to argue, do you? I will give you, and quickly too, some few of +these arguments about your ears. Get out of the house, I tell you once +more.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Very well; very well. I am going.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +No, wait; are you carrying anything away with you?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +What can I possibly carry away?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Come here, and let me see. Show me your hands.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. There they are.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. The others.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. The others?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. There they are.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>pointing to</i> <span class="smallcaps">La Flèche's</span> <i>breeches</i>). +Have you anything hid +in here?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Look for yourself.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>feeling the knees of the breeches</i>). These wide knee-breeches +are convenient receptacles of stolen goods; and I wish a pair +of them had been hanged.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +(<i>aside</i>). Ah! how richly such a man deserves what he +fears, and what joy it would be to me to steal some of his …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Eh?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. What?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What is it you talk of stealing?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +I say that you feel about everywhere to see if I have been +stealing anything.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And I mean to do so too. (<i>He feels in</i> +<span class="smallcaps">La Flèche's</span> +<i>pockets</i>).</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Plague take all misers and all miserly ways!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Eh? What do you say?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. What do I say?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes. What is it you say about misers and miserly ways.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +I say plague take all misers and all miserly ways.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Of whom do you speak?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Of misers.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. And who are they, these misers?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Villains and stingy wretches!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. But what do you mean by that?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Why do you trouble yourself so much about what I say?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I trouble myself because I think it right to do so.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Do you think I am speaking about you?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I think what I think; but I insist upon your telling me to whom +you speak when you say that.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +To whom I speak? I am speaking to the inside of my hat.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And I will, perhaps, speak to the outside of your head.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Would you prevent me from cursing misers?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +No; but I will prevent you from prating and from being insolent. +Hold your tongue, will you?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +I name nobody.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Another word, and I'll thrash you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +He whom the cap fits, let him wear it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Will you be silent?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Yes; much against my will.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Ah! ah!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +(<i>showing</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span> +<i>one of his doublet pockets</i>). +Just look, here is one more pocket. Are you satisfied?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Come, give it up to me without all that fuss.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Give you what?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What you have stolen from me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +I have stolen nothing at all from you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Are you telling the truth?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Good-bye, then, and now you may go to the devil.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +(<i>aside</i>). That's a nice way of dismissing anyone.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I leave it to your conscience, remember!</p> + +<p> </p> + + +<h3>SCENE IV.——HARPAGON (<i>alone</i>.)</h3> + + +<p>This rascally valet is a constant vexation to me; and I hate the very +sight of the good-for-nothing cripple. Really, it is no small anxiety +to keep by one a large sum of money; and happy is the man who has all +his cash well invested, and who needs not keep by him more than he +wants for his daily expenses. I am not a little puzzled to find in the +whole of this house a safe hiding-place. Don't speak to me of your +strong boxes, I will never trust to them. Why, they are just the very +things thieves set upon!</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE V.——HARPAGON, ÉLISE <i>and</i> +CLÉANTE <i>are seen talking together at +the back of the stage</i>.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>thinking himself alone</i>.) Meanwhile, I hardly know whether +I did right to bury in my garden the ten thousand crowns which were +paid to me yesterday. Ten thousand crowns in gold is a sum +sufficiently … (<i>Aside, on perceiving</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span> <i>and</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span> +<i>whispering together</i>) Good heavens! I have betrayed myself; my +warmth has carried me away. I believe I spoke aloud while reasoning +with myself. (<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span> <i>and</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>) What do you want?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Nothing, father.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Have you been here long?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. We have only just come.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Did you hear…?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. What, father?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. There…!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. What?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What I was just now saying.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. No.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. You did. I know you did.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +I beg your pardon, father, but we did not.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I see well enough that you overheard a few words. The fact is, I +was only talking to myself about the trouble one has nowadays to raise +any money; and I was saying that he is a fortunate man who has ten +thousand crowns in his house.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +We were afraid of coming near you, for fear of intruding.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I am very glad to tell you this, so that you may not misinterpret +things, and imagine that I said that it was I who have ten thousand +crowns.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +We do not wish to interfere in your affairs.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Would that I had them, these ten thousand crowns!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I should not think that …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What a capital affair it would be for me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. There are things …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. I greatly need them.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. I fancy that …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It would suit me exceedingly well.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. You are …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And I should not have to complain, as I do now, that the times +are bad.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Hear me, father, you have no reason to complain; and everyone +knows that you are well enough off.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +How? I am well enough off! Those who say it are liars. Nothing +can be more false; and they are scoundrels who spread such reports.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. Don't be angry.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It is strange that my own children betray me and become my +enemies.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Is it being your enemy to say that you have wealth?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes, it is. Such talk and your extravagant expenses will be the +cause that some day thieves will come and cut my throat, in the belief +that I am made of gold.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +What extravagant expenses do I indulge in?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What! Is there anything more scandalous than this sumptuous +attire with which you jaunt it about the town? I was remonstrating +with your sister yesterday, but you are still worse. It cries +vengeance to heaven; and were we to calculate all you are wearing, +from head to foot, we should find enough for a good annuity. I have +told you a hundred times, my son, that your manners displease me +exceedingly; you affect the marquis terribly, and for you to be always +dressed as you are, you must certainly rob me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Rob you? And how?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +How should I know? Where else could you find money enough to +clothe yourself as you do?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I, father? I play; and as I am very lucky, I spend in clothes all +the money I win.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It is very wrong. If you are lucky at play, you should profit by +it, and place the money you win at decent interest, so that you may +find it again some day. I should like to know, for instance, without +mentioning the rest, what need there is for all these ribbons with +which you are decked from head to foot, and if half a dozen tags are +not sufficient to fasten your breeches. What necessity is there for +anyone to spend money upon wigs, when we have hair of our own growth, +which costs nothing. I will lay a wager that, in wigs and ribbons +alone, there are certainly twenty pistoles spent, and twenty pistoles +brings in at least eighteen livres six sous eight deniers per annum, +at only eight per cent interest.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. You are quite right.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Enough on this subject; let us talk of something else. (<i>Aside, +noticing</i> <span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span> +<i>and</i> <span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>, +<i>who make signs to one another</i>) +I believe they are making signs to one another to pick my pocket. +(<i>Aloud</i>) What do you mean by those signs?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +We are hesitating as to who shall speak first, for we both have +something to tell you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And I also have something to tell you both.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +We wanted to speak to you about marriage, father.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +The very thing I wish to speak to you about.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. Ah! my father!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What is the meaning of that exclamation? Is it the word, +daughter, or the thing itself that frightens you?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Marriage may frighten us both according to the way you take it; +and our feelings may perhaps not coincide with your choice.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +A little patience, if you please. You need not be alarmed. I know +what is good for you both, and you will have no reason to complain of +anything I intend to do. To begin at the beginning. (<i>To</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>) +Do you know, tell me, a young person, called Marianne, who +lives not far from here?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Yes, father.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. And you?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +I have heard her spoken of.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Well, my son, and how do you like the girl?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +She is very charming.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Her face?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Modest and intelligent.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Her air and manner?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Perfect, undoubtedly.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Do you not think that such a girl well deserves to be thought of?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Yes, father.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +She would form a very desirable match?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Very desirable.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +That there is every likelihood of her making a thrifty and +careful wife.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Certainly.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And that a husband might live very happily with her?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I have not the least doubt about it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +There is one little difficulty; I am afraid she has not the +fortune we might reasonably expect.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Oh, my father, riches are of little importance when one is sure +of marrying a virtuous woman.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I beg your pardon. Only there is this to be said: that if we do +not find as much money as we could wish, we may make it up in +something else.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +That follows as a matter of course.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Well, I must say that I am very much pleased to find that you +entirely agree with me, for her modest manner and her gentleness have +won my heart; and I have made up my mind to marry her, provided I find +she has some dowry.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Eh!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What now?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +You are resolved, you say…?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +To marry Marianne.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Who? you? you?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes, I, I, I. What does all this mean?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I feel a sudden dizziness, and I must withdraw for a little +while.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It will be nothing. Go quickly into the kitchen and drink a large +glass of cold water, it will soon set you all right again.</p> + + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE VI.——HARPAGON, ÉLISE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +There goes one of your effeminate fops, with no more stamina than +a chicken. That is what I have resolved for myself, my daughter. As to +your brother, I have thought for him of a certain widow, of whom I +heard this morning; and you I shall give to Mr. Anselme.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. To Mr. Anselme?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes, a staid and prudent man, who is not above fifty, and of +whose riches everybody speaks.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. (<i>curtseying</i>). +I have no wish to marry, father, if you +please.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>imitating</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>). +And I, my little girl, my darling, I +wish you to marry, if you please.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +(<i>curtseying again</i>). I beg your pardon, my father.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>again imitating</i> <span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>). +I beg your pardon, my daughter.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +I am the very humble servant of Mr. Anselme, but (<i>curtseying +again</i>), with your leave, I shall not marry him.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I am your very humble servant, but (<i>again imitating</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>) +you will marry him this very evening.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. This evening?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. This evening.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. (<i>curtseying again</i>). +It cannot be done, father.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>imitating</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>). It will be done, daughter.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. No.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. No, I tell you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes, I tell you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +You will never force me to do such a thing</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. I will force you to it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +I had rather kill myself than marry such a man.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You will not kill yourself, and you will marry him. But did you +ever see such impudence? Did ever any one hear a daughter speak in +such a fashion to her father?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +But did ever anyone see a father marry his daughter after such a +fashion?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It is a match against which nothing can be said, and I am +perfectly sure that everybody will approve of my choice.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +And I know that it will be approved of by no reasonable person.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>seeing</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>). +There is Valère coming. Shall we make him +judge in this affair?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. Willingly.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You will abide by what he says?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Yes, whatever he thinks right, I will do.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Agreed.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE VII.——VALÈRE, HARPAGON, ÉLISE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Valère, we have chosen you to decide who is in the right, my +daughter or I.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +It is certainly you, Sir.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +But have you any idea of what we are talking about?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +No; but you could not be in the wrong; you are reason itself.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I want to give her to-night, for a husband, a man as rich as he +is good; and the hussy tells me to my face that she scorns to take +him. What do you say to that?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. What I say to it?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. Eh! eh!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I say that I am, upon the whole, of your opinion, and that you +cannot but be right; yet, perhaps, she is not altogether wrong; +and …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +How so? Mr. Anselme is an excellent match; he is a nobleman, and +a gentleman too; of simple habits, and extremely well off. He has no +children left from his first marriage. Could she meet with anything +more suitable?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +It is true. But she might say that you are going rather fast, and +that she ought to have at least a little time to consider whether her +inclination could reconcile itself to …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It is an opportunity I must not allow to slip through my fingers. +I find an advantage here which I should not find elsewhere, and he +agrees to take her without dowry.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. Without dowry?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Ah! I have nothing more to say. A more convincing reason could +not be found; and she must yield to that.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It is a considerable saving to me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Undoubtedly; this admits of no contradiction. It is true that +your daughter might represent to you that marriage is a more serious +affair than people are apt to believe; that the happiness or misery of +a whole life depends on it, and that an engagement which is to last +till death ought not to be entered into without great consideration.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Without dowry!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +That must of course decide everything. There are certainly people +who might tell you that on such occasions the wishes of a daughter are +no doubt to be considered, and that this great disparity of age, of +disposition, and of feelings might be the cause of many an unpleasant +thing in a married life.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Without dowry!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Ah! it must be granted that there is no reply to that; who in the +world could think otherwise? I do not mean to say but that there are +many fathers who would set a much higher value on the happiness of +their daughter than on the money they may have to give for their +marriage; who would not like to sacrifice them to their own interests, +and who would, above all things, try to see in a marriage that sweet +conformity of tastes which is a sure pledge of honour, tranquillity +and joy; and that …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Without dowry!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +That is true; nothing more can be said. Without dowry. How can +anyone resist such arguments?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>aside, looking towards the garden</i>). Ah! I fancy I hear a +dog barking. Is anyone after my money. +(<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>) Stop here, +I'll come back directly.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE VIII.——ÉLISE, VALÈRE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Surely, Valère, you are not in earnest when you speak to him in +that manner?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I do it that I may not vex him, and the better to secure my ends. +To resist him boldly would simply spoil everything. There are certain +people who are only to be managed by indirect means, temperaments +averse from all resistance, restive natures whom truth causes to rear, +who always kick when we would lead them on the right road of reason, +and who can only be led by a way opposed to that by which you wish +them to go. Pretend to comply with his wishes; you are much more +likely to succeed in the end, and …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +But this marriage, Valère?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +We will find some pretext for breaking it off.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +But what pretext can we find if it is to be concluded to-night?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +You must ask to have it delayed, and must feign some illness or +other.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +But he will soon discover the truth if they call in the doctor.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Not a bit of it. Do you imagine that a doctor understands what he +is about? Nonsense! Don't be afraid. Believe me, you may complain of +any disease you please, the doctor will be at no loss to explain to +you from what it proceeds.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE IX——HARPAGON, ÉLISE, VALÈRE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>alone, at the farther end of the stage</i>). It is nothing, +thank heaven!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +(<i>not seeing</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). +In short, flight is the last +resource we have left us to avoid all this; and if your love, dear +Élise, is as strong as … (<i>Seeing</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>) Yes, a daughter is +bound to obey her father. She has no right to inquire what a husband +offered to her is like, and when the most important question, "without +dowry," presents itself, she should accept anybody that is given her.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Good; that was beautifully said!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I beg your pardon, Sir, if I carry it a little too far, and take +upon myself to speak to her as I do.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Why, I am delighted, and I wish you to have her entirely under +your control. (<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>) +Yes, you may run away as much as you +like. I give him all the authority over you that heaven has given me, +and I will have you do all that he tells you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +After that, resist all my expostulations, if you can.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE X.——HARPAGON, VALÈRE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I will follow her, Sir, if you will allow me, and will continue +the lecture I was giving her.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes, do so; you will oblige me greatly.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +She ought to be kept in with a tight hand.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Quite true, you must …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Do not be afraid; I believe I shall end by convincing her.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Do so, do so. I am going to take a short stroll in the town, and +I will come back again presently.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +(<i>going towards the door through which</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Élise</span> <i>left, and +speaking as if it were to her</i>). Yes, money is more precious than +anything else in the world, and you should thank heaven that you have +so worthy a man for a father. He knows what life is. When a man offers +to marry a girl without a dowry, we ought to look no farther. +Everything is comprised in that, and "without dowry" compensates for +want of beauty, youth, birth, honour, wisdom, and probity.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Ah! the honest fellow! he speaks like an oracle. Happy is he who +can secure such a servant!</p> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + + +<h2>ACT II.</h2> + +<h3>SCENE I.——CLÉANTE, LA FLÈCHE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +How now, you rascal! where have you been hiding? Did I not give +you orders to…?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Yes, Sir, and I came here resolved to wait for you without +stirring, but your father, that most ungracious of men, drove me into +the street in spite of myself, and I well nigh got a good drubbing +into the bargain.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +How is our affair progressing? Things are worse than ever for us, +and since I left you, I have discovered that my own father is my +rival.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Your father in love?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +It seems so; and I found it very difficult to hide from him what +I felt at such a discovery.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +He meddling with love! What the deuce is he thinking of? Does +he mean to set everybody at defiance? And is love made for people of +his build?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +It is to punish me for my sins that this passion has entered his +head.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +But why do you hide your love from him?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +That he may not suspect anything, and to make it more easy for me +to fall back, if need be, upon some device to prevent this marriage. +What answer did you receive?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Indeed, Sir, those who borrow are much to be pitied, and we +must put up with strange things when, like you, we are forced to pass +through the hands of the usurers.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Then the affair won't come off?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Excuse me; Mr. Simon, the broker who was recommended to us, is +a very active and zealous fellow, and says he has left no stone +unturned to help you. He assures me that your looks alone have won his +heart.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Shall I have the fifteen thousand francs which I want?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Yes, but under certain trifling conditions, which you must +accept if you wish the bargain to be concluded.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Did you speak to the man who is to lend the money?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Oh! dear no. Things are not done in that way. He is still more +anxious than you to remain unknown. These things are greater mysteries +than you think. His name is not by any means to be divulged, and he is +to be introduced to you to-day at a house provided by him, so that he +may hear from yourself all about your position and your family; and I +have not the least doubt that the mere name of your father will be +sufficient to accomplish what you wish.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Particularly as my mother is dead, and they cannot deprive me of +what I inherit from her.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Well, here are some of the conditions which he has himself +dictated to our go-between for you to take cognisance of, before +anything is begun.</p> + +<p>"Supposing that the lender is satisfied with all his securities, and +that the borrower is of age and of a family whose property is ample, +solid, secure, and free from all incumbrances, there shall be drawn up +a good and correct bond before as honest a notary as it is possible to +find, and who for this purpose shall be chosen by the lender, because +he is the more concerned of the two that the bond should be rightly +executed."</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. There is nothing to say against that.</p> + +<p>LA FA. "The lender, not to burden his conscience with the least +scruple, does not wish to lend his money at more than five and a half +per cent."</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Five and a half per cent? By Jove, that's honest! We have nothing +to complain of.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. That's true.</p> + +<p>"But as the said lender has not in hand the sum required, and as, in +order to oblige the borrower, he is himself obliged to borrow from +another at the rate of twenty per cent., it is but right that the said +first borrower shall pay this interest, without detriment to the rest; +since it is only to oblige him that the said lender is himself forced +to borrow."</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +The deuce! What a Jew! what a Turk we have here! That is more +than twenty-five per cent.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +That's true; and it is the remark I made. It is for you to +consider the matter before you act.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +How can I consider? I want the money, and I must therefore accept +everything.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +That is exactly what I answered.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Is there anything else?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Only a small item.</p> + +<p>"Of the fifteen thousand francs which are demanded, the lender will +only be able to count down twelve thousand in hard cash; instead of +the remaining three thousand, the borrower will have to take the +chattels, clothing, and jewels, contained in the following catalogue, +and which the said lender has put in all good faith at the lowest +possible figure."</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. + What is the meaning of all that?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +I'll go through the catalogue:—</p> + +<p>"Firstly:—A fourpost bedstead, with hangings of Hungary lace very +elegantly trimmed with olive-coloured cloth, and six chairs and a +counterpane to match; the whole in very good condition, and lined with +soft red and blue shot-silk. Item:—the tester of good pale pink +Aumale serge, with the small and the large fringes of silk."</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. What does he want me to do with all this?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Wait.</p> + +<p>"Item:—Tapestry hangings representing the loves of Gombaud and +Macée.<a href="#fmis1"><sup><small>1</small></sup></a><a name="fmis1r" id="fmis1r"></a> +Item:—A large walnut table with +twelve columns or turned legs, which draws out at both ends, and is +provided beneath with six stools."</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Hang it all! What am I to do with all this?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Have patience.</p> + +<p>"Item:—Three large matchlocks inlaid with mother-of-pearl, with rests +to correspond. Item:—A brick furnace with two retorts and three +receivers, very useful to those who have any taste for distilling."</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. You will drive me crazy.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. Gently!</p> + +<p>"Item:—A Bologna lute with all its strings, or nearly all. Item:—A +pigeon-hole table and a draught-board, and a game of mother goose, +restored from the Greeks, most useful to pass the time when one has +nothing to do. Item:—A lizard's skin, three feet and a half in +length, stuffed with hay, a pleasing curiosity to hang on the ceiling +of a room. The whole of the above-mentioned articles are really worth +more than four thousand five hundred francs, and are reduced to the +value of a thousand crowns through the considerateness of the lender."</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Let the plague choke him with his considerateness, the wretch, +the cut-throat that he is! Did ever anyone hear of such usury? Is he +not satisfied with the outrageous interest he asks that he must force +me to take, instead of the three thousand francs, all the old rubbish +which he picks up. I shan't get two hundred crowns for all that, and +yet I must bring myself to yield to all his wishes; for he is in a +position to force me to accept everything, and he has me, the villain, +with a knife at my throat.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +I see you, Sir, if you'll forgive my saying so, on the high-road +followed by Panurge<a href="#fmis2"><small><sup>2</sup></small></a><a name="fmisr2" id="fmisr2"></a> to +ruin himself—taking money in advance, buying dear, selling cheap, +and cutting your corn while it is still grass.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +What would you have me do? It is to this that young men are +reduced by the accursed avarice of their fathers; and people are +astonished after that, that sons long for their death.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +No one can deny that yours would excite against his meanness +the most quiet of men. I have not, thank God, any inclination gallows- +ward, and among my colleagues whom I see dabbling in various doubtful +affairs, I know well enough how to keep myself out of hot water, and +how to keep clear of all those things which savour ever so little of +the ladder; but to tell you the truth, he almost gives me, by his ways +of going on, the desire of robbing him, and I should think that in +doing so I was doing a meritorious action.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Give me that memorandum that I may have another look at it.</p> + +<p> </p> +<h3>SCENE II.——HARPAGON, MR. SIMON +(CLÉANTE <i>and</i> LA FLÈCHE <i>at the +back of the stage</i>).</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Sim</span>. +Yes, Sir; it is a young man who is greatly in want of money; his +affairs force him to find some at any cost, and he will submit to all +your conditions.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +But are you sure, Mr. Simon, that there is no risk to run in this +case? and do you know the name, the property, and the family of him +for whom you speak?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Sim</span>. +No; I cannot tell you anything for certain, as it was by mere +chance that I was made acquainted with him; but he will tell you +everything himself, and his servant has assured me that you will be +quite satisfied when you know who he is. All I can tell you is that +his family is said to be very wealthy, that he has already lost his +mother, and that he will pledge you his word, if you insist upon it, +that his father will die before eight months are passed.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +That is something. Charity, Mr. Simon, demands of us to gratify +people whenever we have it in our power.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Sim</span>. Evidently.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. (<i>aside to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>, +<i>on recognising</i> <span class="smallcaps">Mr. Simon</span>). +What does this mean? Mr. Simon talking with your father!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. (<i>aside to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">La Flèche</span>). +Has he been told who I am, and would +you be capable of betraying me?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Sim</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span> <i>and</i> +<span class="smallcaps">La Flèche</span>). Ah! you are in good +time! But who told you to come here? (<i>To</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>) It was +certainly not I who told them your name and address; but I am of +opinion that there is no great harm done; they are people who can be +trusted, and you can come to some understanding together.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Sim</span>. (<i>showing</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>). This is the gentleman who wants to +borrow the fifteen thousand francs of which I have spoken to you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What! miscreant! is it you who abandon yourself to such excesses?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +What! father! is it you who stoop to such shameful deeds?</p> + +<p>(<span class="smallcaps">M. Simon</span> <i>runs away, and</i> +<span class="smallcaps">La Flèche</span> <i>hides himself</i>.)</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE III.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It is you who are ruining yourself by loans so greatly to be +condemned!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +So it is you who seek to enrich yourself by such criminal usury!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And you dare, after that, to show yourself before me?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +And you dare, after that, to show yourself to the world?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Are you not ashamed, tell me, to descend to these wild excesses, +to rush headlong into frightful expenses, and disgracefully to +dissipate the wealth which your parents have amassed with so much +toil.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Are you not ashamed of dishonouring your station by such +dealings, of sacrificing honour and reputation to the insatiable +desire of heaping crown upon crown, and of outdoing the most infamous +devices that have ever been invented by the most notorious usurers?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Get out of my sight, you reprobate; get out of my sight!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Who is the more criminal in your opinion: he who buys the money +of which he stands in need, or he who obtains, by unfair means, money +for which he has no use?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Begone, I say, and do not provoke me to anger. (<i>Alone</i>) +After all, I am not very much vexed at this adventure; it will be a +lesson to me to keep a better watch over all his doings.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE IV.——FROSINE, HARPAGON.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. Sir.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Wait a moment, I will come back and speak to you. (<i>Aside</i>) +I had better go and see a little after my money.</p> + +<p> </p> + + +<h3>SCENE V.——LA FLÈCHE, FROSINE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. (<i>without seeing</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Frosine</span>). The adventure is most comical. +Hidden somewhere he must have a large store of goods of all kinds, for +the list did not contain one single article which either of us +recognised.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Hallo! is it you, my poor La Flèche? How is it we meet here?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Ah! ah! it is you, Frosine; and what have you come to do here?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +What have I come to do? Why! what I do everywhere else, busy +myself about other people's affairs, make myself useful to the +community in general, and profit as much as I possibly can by the +small talent I possess. Must we not live by our wits in this world? +and what other resources have people like me but intrigue and cunning?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Have you, then, any business with the master of this house?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Yes. I am transacting for him a certain small matter for which he +is pretty sure to give me a reward.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +He give you a reward! Ah! ah! Upon my word, you will be 'cute +if you ever get one, and I warn you that ready money is very scarce +hereabouts.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +That may be, but there are certain services which wonderfully +touch our feelings.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Your humble servant; but as yet you don't know Harpagon. +Harpagon is the human being of all human beings the least humane, the +mortal of all mortals the hardest and closest. There is no service +great enough to induce him to open his purse. If, indeed, you want +praise, esteem, kindness, and friendship, you are welcome to any +amount; but money, that's a different affair. There is nothing more +dry, more barren, than his favour and his good grace, and +"<i>give</i>" is a word for which he has such a strong dislike that he +never says <i>I give</i>, but <i>I lend, you a good morning</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +That's all very well; but I know the art of fleecing men. I have +a secret of touching their affections by flattering their hearts, and +of finding out their weak points.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +All useless here. I defy you to soften, as far as money is +concerned, the man we are speaking of. He is a Turk on that point, of +a Turkishness to drive anyone to despair, and we might starve in his +presence and never a peg would he stir. In short, he loves money +better than reputation, honour, and virtue, and the mere sight of +anyone making demands upon his purse sends him into convulsions; it is +like striking him in a vital place, it is piercing him to the heart, +it is like tearing out his very bowels! And if … But here he comes +again; I leave you.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE VI.——HARPAGON, FROSINE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>aside</i>). All is as it should be. +(<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Frosine</span>) Well, +what is it, Frosine?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Bless me, how well you look! You are the very picture of health.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Who? I?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Never have I seen you looking more rosy, more hearty.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Are you in earnest?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Why! you have never been so young in your life; and I know many a +man of twenty-five who looks much older than you do.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And yet, Frosine, I have passed threescore.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Threescore! Well, and what then? You don't mean to make a trouble +of that, do you? It's the very flower of manhood, the threshold of the +prime of life.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +True; but twenty years less would do me no harm, I think.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Nonsense! You've no need of that, and you are of a build to last +out a hundred.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Do you really think so?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Decidedly. You have all the appearance of it. Hold yourself up a +little. Ah! what a sign of long life is that line there straight +between your two eyes!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You know all about that, do you?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +I should think I do. Show me your hand.<a href="#fmis3"><sup><small>3</small></sup></a> +<a name="fmis3r" id="fmis3r"></a> + Dear me, what a line of life there is there!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Where?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Don't you see how far this line goes?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Well, and what does it mean?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +What does it mean? There … I said a hundred years; but no, it +is one hundred and twenty I ought to have said.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Is it possible?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +I tell you they will have to kill you, and you will bury your +children and your children's children.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +So much the better! And what news of our affair?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Is there any need to ask? Did ever anyone see me begin anything +and not succeed in it? I have, especially for matchmaking, the most +wonderful talent. There are no two persons in the world I could not +couple together; and I believe that, if I took it into my head, I +could make the Grand Turk marry the Republic of +Venice.<a href="#fmis4"><small><sup>4</sup></small></a> +<a name="fmisr4" id="fmisr4"></a> But we had, +to be sure, no such difficult thing to +achieve in this matter. As I know the ladies very well, I told them +every particular about you; and I acquainted the mother with your +intentions towards Marianne since you saw her pass in the street and +enjoy the fresh air out of her window.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What did she answer…?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +She received your proposal with great joy; and when I told her +that you wished very much that her daughter should come to-night to +assist at the marriage contract which is to be signed for your own +daughter, she assented at once, and entrusted her to me for the +purpose.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You see, Frosine, I am obliged to give some supper to Mr. +Anselme, and I should like her to have a share in the feast.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +You are quite right. She is to come after dinner to pay a visit +to your daughter; then she means to go from here to the fair, and +return to your house just in time for supper.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +That will do very well; they shall go together in my carriage, +which I will lend them.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +That will suit her perfectly.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +But I say, Frosine, have you spoken to the mother about the dowry +she can give her daughter? Did you make her understand that under such +circumstances she ought to do her utmost and to make a great +sacrifice? For, after all, one does not marry a girl without her +bringing something with her.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +How something! She is a girl who will bring you a clear twelve +thousand francs a year?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Twelve thousand francs a year?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Yes! To begin with, she has been nursed and brought up with the +strictest notions of frugality. She is a girl accustomed to live upon +salad, milk, cheese, and apples, and who consequently will require +neither a well served up table, nor any rich broth, nor your +everlasting peeled barley; none, in short, of all those delicacies +that another woman would want. This is no small matter, and may well +amount to three thousand francs yearly. Besides this, she only cares +for simplicity and neatness; she will have none of those splendid +dresses and rich jewels, none of that sumptuous furniture in which +girls like her indulge so extravagantly; and this item is worth more +than four thousand francs per annum. Lastly, she has the deepest +aversion to gambling; and this is not very common nowadays among +women. Why, I know of one in our neighbourhood who lost at least +twenty thousand francs this year. But let us reckon only a fourth of +that sum. Five thousand francs a year at play and four thousand in +clothes and jewels make nine thousand; and three thousand francs which +we count for food, does it not make your twelve thousand francs?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes, that's not bad; but, after all, that calculation has nothing +real in it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Excuse me; is it nothing real to bring you in marriage a great +sobriety, to inherit a great love for simplicity in dress, and the +acquired property of a great hatred for gambling?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It is a farce to pretend to make up a dowry with all the expenses +she will not run into. I could not give a receipt for what I do not +receive; and I must decidedly get something.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Bless me! you will get enough; and they have spoken to me of a +certain country where they have some property, of which you will be +master.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +We shall have to see to that. But, Frosine, there is one more +thing that makes me uneasy. The girl is young, you know; and young +people generally like those who are young like themselves, and only +care for the society of the young. I am afraid that a man of my age +may not exactly suit her taste, and that this may occasion in my +family certain complications that would in nowise be pleasant to me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Oh, how badly you judge her! This is one more peculiarity of +which I had to speak to you. She has the greatest detestation to all +young men, and only likes old people.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Does she?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +I should like you to hear her talk on that subject; she cannot +bear at all the sight of a young man, and nothing delights her more +than to see a fine old man with a venerable beard. The oldest are to +her the most charming, and I warn you beforehand not to go and make +yourself any younger than you really are. She wishes for one sixty +years old at least; and it is not more than six months ago that on the +very eve of being married she suddenly broke off the match on learning +that her lover was only fifty-six years of age, and did not put on +spectacles to sign the contract.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Only for that?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Yes; she says there is no pleasure with a man of fifty-six; and +she has a decided affection for those who wear spectacles.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Well, this is quite new to me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +No one can imagine how far she carries this. She has in her room +a few pictures and engravings, and what do you imagine they are? An +Adonis, a Cephalus, a Paris, an Apollo? Not a bit of it! Fine +portraits of Saturn, of King Priam, of old Nestor, and of good father +Anchises on his son's shoulders.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +That's admirable. I should never have guessed such a thing; and I +am very pleased to hear that she has such taste as this. Indeed had I +been a woman, I should never have loved young fellows.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +I should think not. Fine trumpery indeed, these young men, for +any one to fall in love with. Fine jackanapes and puppies for a woman +to hanker after. I should like to know what relish anyone can find in +them?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Truly; I don't understand it myself, and I cannot make out how it +is that some women dote so on them.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +They must be downright idiots. Can any one be in his senses who +thinks youth amiable? Can those curly-pated coxcombs be men, and can +one really get attached to such animals?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Exactly what I say every day! With their effeminate voices, their +three little bits of a beard turned up like cat's whiskers, their tow +wigs, their flowing breeches and open breasts!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Yes; they are famous guys compared with yourself. In you we see +something like a man. There is enough to satisfy the eye. It is thus +that one should be made and dressed to inspire love.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Then you think I am pretty well?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Pretty well! I should think so; you are charming, and your face +would make a beautiful picture. Turn round a little, if you please. +You could not find anything better anywhere. Let me see you walk. You +have a well-shaped body, free and easy, as it should be, and one which +gives no sign of infirmity.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I have nothing the matter to speak of, I am thankful to say. It +is only my cough, which returns from time to +time.<a href="#fmis5"><small><sup>5</sup></small></a> +<a name="fmisr5" id="fmisr5"></a></p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +That is nothing, and coughing becomes you exceedingly well.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Tell me, Frosine, has Marianne seen me yet? Has she not noticed +me when I passed by?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +No; but we have had many conversations about you. I gave her an +exact description of your person, and I did not fail to make the most +of your merit, and to show her what an advantage it would be to have a +husband like you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You did right, and I thank you very much for it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +I have, Sir, a small request to make to you. I am in danger of +losing a lawsuit for want of a little money +(<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span> <i>looks +grave</i>), and you can easily help me with it, if you have pity upon +me. You cannot imagine how happy she will be to see you. +(<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span> +<i>looks joyful</i>.) Oh! how sure you are to please her, and how sure +that antique ruff of yours is to produce a wonderful effect on her +mind. But, above all, she will be delighted with your breeches +fastened to your doublet with tags; that will make her mad after you, +and a lover who wears tags will be most welcome to her.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You send me into raptures, Frosine, by saying that.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +I tell you the truth, Sir; this lawsuit is of the utmost +importance for me. (<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span> +<i>looks serious again</i>.) If I lose +it, I am for ever ruined; but a very small sum will save me. I should +like you to have seen the happiness she felt when I spoke of you to +her. (<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span> <i>looks pleased again</i>.) +Joy sparkled in her eyes +while I told her of all your good qualities; and I succeeded, in +short, in making her look forward with the greatest impatience to the +conclusion of the match.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You have given me great pleasure, Frosine, and I assure you I …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +I beg of you, Sir, to grant me the little assistance I ask of +you. (<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span> <i>again looks grave</i>.) +It will put me on my feet +again, and I shall feel grateful to you for ever.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Good-bye; I must go and finish my correspondence.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +I assure you, Sir, that you could not help me in a more pressing +necessity.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I will see that my carriage is ready to take you to the fair.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +I would not importune you so if I were not compelled by +necessity.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And I will see that we have supper early, so that nobody may be +ill.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Do not refuse me the service; I beg of you. You can hardly +believe, Sir, the pleasure that …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I must go; somebody is calling me. We shall see each other again +by and by.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. (<i>alone</i>). +May the fever seize you, you stingy cur, and send +you to the devil and his angels! The miser has held out against all my +attacks; but I must not drop the negotiation; for I have the other +side, and there, at all events, I am sure of a good reward.</p> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + + +<h2>ACT III.</h2> + +<h3>SCENE I.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, +DAME CLAUDE (<i>holding a +broom</i>), MASTER JACQUES, LA MERLUCHE, BRINDAVOINE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Here, come here, all of you; I must give you orders for by and +by, and arrange what each one will have to do. Come nearer, Dame +Claude; let us begin with you. (<i>Looking at her broom.</i>) Good; +you are ready armed, I see. To you I commit the care of cleaning up +everywhere; but, above all, be very careful not to rub the furniture +too hard, for fear of wearing it out. Besides this, I put the bottles +under your care during supper, and if any one of them is missing, or +if anything gets broken, you will be responsible for it, and pay it +out of your wages.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>aside</i>). A shrewd punishment that.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Dame Claude</span>.) Now you may go.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE II.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, +ÉLISE, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES, +BRINDAVOINE, LA MERLUCHE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +To you, Brindavoine, and to you, La Merluche, belongs the duty of +washing the glasses, and of giving to drink, but only when people are +thirsty, and not according to the custom of certain impertinent +lackeys, who urge them to drink, and put the idea into their heads +when they are not thinking about it. Wait until you have been asked +several times, and remember always to have plenty of water.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. (<i>aside</i>). +Yes; wine without water gets into one's head.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Mer</span>. +Shall we take off our smocks, Sir?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes, when you see the guests coming; but be very careful not to +spoil your clothes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Brind</span>. +You know, Sir, that one of the fronts of my doublet is covered +with a large stain of oil from the lamp.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Mer</span>. +And I, Sir, that my breeches are all torn behind, and that, +saving your presence …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">La Merluche</span>). +Peace! Turn carefully towards the wall, +and always face the company. (<i>To</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Brindavoine</span>, <i>showing him +how he is to hold his hat before his doublet, to hide the stain of +oil</i>) And you, always hold your hat in this fashion when you wait +on the guests.</p> + + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE III.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, +ÉLISE, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +As for you, my daughter, you will look after all that is cleared +off the table, and see that nothing is wasted: this care is very +becoming to young girls. Meanwhile get ready to welcome my lady-love, +who is coming this afternoon to pay you a visit, and will take you off +to the fair with her. Do you understand what I say?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. Yes, father.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE IV.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, +VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And you, my young dandy of a son to whom I have the kindness of +forgiving what happened this morning, mind you don't receive her +coldly, or show her a sour face.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Receive her coldly! And why should I?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Why? why? We know pretty well the ways of children whose fathers +marry again, and the looks they give to those we call stepmothers. But +if you wish me to forget your last offence, I advise you, above all +things, to receive her kindly, and, in short, to give her the +heartiest welcome you can.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +To speak the truth, father, I cannot promise you that I am very +happy to see her become my stepmother; but as to receiving her +properly, and as to giving her a kind welcome, I promise to obey you +in that to the very letter.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Be careful you do, at least.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +You will see that you have no cause to complain.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. You will do wisely.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE V.——HARPAGON, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Valère, you will have to give me your help in this business. Now, +Master Jacques, I kept you for the last.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Is it to your coachman, Sir, or to your cook you want to speak, +for I am both the one and the other?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. To both.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +But to which of the two first?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. To the cook.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Then wait a minute, if you please.</p> + +<p>(<span class="smallcaps">Jacques</span> +<i>takes off his stable-coat and appears dressed as a +cook.</i>)</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What the deuce is the meaning of this ceremony?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. Now I am at your service.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I have engaged myself, Master Jacques, to give a supper to-night.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. (<i>aside</i>). Wonderful!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Tell me, can you give us a good supper?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. Yes, if you give me plenty of money.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +The deuce! Always money! I think they have nothing else to say +except money, money, money! Always that same word in their mouth, +money! They always speak of money! It's their pillow companion, money!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Never did I hear such an impertinent answer! Would you call it +wonderful to provide good cheer with plenty of money? Is it not the +easiest thing in the world? The most stupid could do as much. But a +clever man should talk of a good supper with little money.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +A good supper with little money?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>). +Indeed, Mr. Steward, you will oblige me +greatly by telling me your secret, and also, if you like, by filling +my place as cook; for you keep on meddling here, and want to be +everything.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Hold your tongue. What shall we want?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Ask that of Mr. Steward, who will give you good cheer with little +money.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Do you hear? I am speaking to you, and expect you to answer me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +How many will there be at your table?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Eight or ten; but you must only reckon for eight. When there is +enough for eight, there is enough for ten.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. That is evident.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Very well, then; you must have four tureens of soup and five side +dishes; soups, entrées …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What! do you mean to feed a whole town?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. Roast …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>clapping his hand on</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Master Jacques'</span> <i>mouth</i>). Ah! +Wretch! you are eating up all my substance.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. Entremêts …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>again putting his hand on</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Jacques'</span> <i>mouth</i>). More +still?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Jacques</span>). +Do you mean to kill everybody? And has your +master invited people in order to destroy them with over-feeding? Go +and read a little the precepts of health, and ask the doctors if there +is anything so hurtful to man as excess in eating.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. He is perfectly right.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Know, Master Jacques, you and people like you, that a table +overloaded with eatables is a real cut-throat; that, to be the true +friends of those we invite, frugality should reign throughout the +repast we give, and that according to the saying of one of the +ancients, "We must eat to live, and not live to eat."</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Ah! How well the man speaks! Come near, let me embrace you for +this last saying. It is the finest sentence that I have ever heard in +my life: "We must live to eat, and not eat to live." No; that isn't +it. How do you say it?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +That we must eat to live, and not live to eat.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Master Jacques</span>). +Yes. Do you hear that? (<i>To</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>) +Who is the great man who said that?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I do not exactly recollect his name just now.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Remember to write down those words for me. I will have them +engraved in letters of gold over the mantel-piece of my dining-room.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I will not fail. As for your supper, you had better let me manage +it. I will see that it is all as it should be.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Do so.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +So much the better; all the less work for me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>). +We must have some of those things of which it +is not possible to eat much, and that satisfy directly. Some good fat +beans, and a pâté well stuffed with chestnuts.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. Trust to me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Now, Master Jacques, you must clean my carriage.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. Wait a moment; this is to the coachman. +(<span class="smallcaps">Jacques</span> <i>puts on his +coat.</i>) You say …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +That you must clean my carriage, and have my horses ready to +drive to the fair.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Your horses! Upon my word, Sir, they are not at all in a +condition to stir. I won't tell you that they are laid up, for the +poor things have got nothing to lie upon, and it would not be telling +the truth. But you make them keep such rigid fasts that they are +nothing but phantoms, ideas, and mere shadows of horses.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +They are much to be pitied. They have nothing to do.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +And because they have nothing to do, must they have nothing to +eat? It would be much better for them, poor things, to work much and +eat to correspond. It breaks my heart to see them so reduced; for, in +short, I love my horses; and when I see them suffer, it seems as if it +were myself. Every day I take the bread out of my own mouth to feed +them; and it is being too hard-hearted, Sir, to have no compassion +upon one's neighbour.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It won't be very hard work to go to the fair.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +No, Sir. I haven't the heart to drive them; it would go too much +against my conscience to use the whip to them in the state they are +in. How could you expect them to drag a carriage? They have not even +strength enough to drag themselves along.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Sir, I will ask our neighbour, Picard, to drive them; +particularly as we shall want his help to get the supper ready.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Be it so. I had much rather they should die under another's hand +than under mine.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Master Jacques is mightily considerate.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Mr. Steward is mightily indispensable.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Peace.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Sir, I can't bear these flatteries, and I can see that, whatever +this man does, his continual watching after the bread, wine, wood, +salt, and candles, is done but to curry favour and to make his court +to you. I am indignant to see it all; and I am sorry to hear every day +what is said of you; for, after all, I have a certain tenderness for +you; and, except my horses, you are the person I like most in the +world.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And I would know from you, Master Jacques, what it is that is +said of me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Yes, certainly, Sir, if I were sure you would not get angry with +me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +No, no; never fear.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Excuse me, but I am sure you will be angry.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +No, on the contrary, you will oblige me. I should be glad to know +what people say of me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Since you wish it, Sir, I will tell you frankly that you are the +laughing-stock of everybody; that they taunt us everywhere by a +thousand jokes on your account, and that nothing delights people more +than to make sport of you, and to tell stories without end about your +stinginess. One says that you have special almanacks printed, where +you double the ember days and vigils, so that you may profit by the +fasts to which you bind all your house; another, that you always have +a ready-made quarrel for your servants at Christmas time or when they +leave you, so that you may give them nothing. One tells a story how +not long since you prosecuted a neighbour's cat because it had eaten +up the remainder of a leg of mutton; another says that one night you +were caught stealing your horses' oats, and that your coachman,—that +is the man who was before me,—gave you, in the dark, a good sound +drubbing, of which you said nothing. In short, what is the use of +going on? We can go nowhere but we are sure to hear you pulled to +pieces. You are the butt and jest and byword of everybody; and never +does anyone mention you but under the names of miser, stingy, mean, +niggardly fellow and usurer.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>beating</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Jacques</span>). You are a fool, a rascal, a scoundrel, +and an impertinent wretch.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +There, there! Did not I know how it would be? You would not +believe me. I told you I should make you angry if I spoke the truth?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Learn how to speak.</p> + +<p> </p> + + +<h3>SCENE VI.——VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. (<i>laughing</i>). +Well, Master Jacques, your frankness is badly +rewarded, I fear.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +S'death! Mr. Upstart, you who assume the man of consequence, it +is no business of yours as far as I can see. Laugh at your own +cudgelling when you get it, and don't come here and laugh at mine.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Ah! Master Jacques, don't get into a passion, I beg of you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. (<i>aside</i>). +He is drawing in his horns. I will put on a bold +face, and if he is fool enough to be afraid of me, I will pay him back +somewhat. (<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>) +Do you know, Mr. Grinner, that I am not +exactly in a laughing humour, and that if you provoke me too much, I +shall make you laugh after another fashion. +(<span class="smallcaps">Jacques</span> <i>pushes</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span> +<i>to the farther end of the stage, threatening him.</i>)</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Gently, gently.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +How gently? And if it does not please me to go gently?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Come, come! What are you about?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +You are an impudent rascal.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Master Jacques …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +None of your Master Jacques here! If I take up a stick, I shall +soon make you feel it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +What do you mean by a stick? (<i>Drives back</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Jacques</span> <i>in +his turn.</i>)</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +No; I don't say anything about that.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Do you know, Mr. Conceit, that I am a man to give you a drubbing +in good earnest?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +I have no doubt of it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +That, after all, you are nothing but a scrub of a cook?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. I know it very well.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +And that you don't know me yet?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. I beg your pardon.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +You will beat me, you say?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. I only spoke in jest.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I don't like your jesting, and (<i>beating</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Jacques</span>) remember +that you are but a sorry hand at it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. (<i>alone</i>). +Plague take all sincerity; it is a bad trade. I +give it up for the future, and will cease to tell the truth. It is all +very well for my master to beat me; but as for that Mr. Steward, what +right has he to do it? I will be revenged on him if I can.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE VII.——MARIANNE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Do you know if your master is at home?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Yes, he is indeed; I know it but too well.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Tell him, please, that we are here.</p> + +<p> </p> + + +<h3>SCENE VIII.——MARIANNE, FROSINE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +Ah! Frosine, how strange I feel, and how I dread this interview!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Why should you? What can you possibly dread?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +Alas! can you ask me? Can you not understand the alarms of a +person about to see the instrument of torture to which she is to be +tied.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +I see very well that to die agreeably, Harpagon is not the +torture you would embrace; and I can judge by your looks that the fair +young man you spoke of to me is still in your thoughts.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +Yes, Frosine; it is a thing I do not wish to deny. The respectful +visits he has paid at our house have left, I confess, a great +impression on my heart.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +But do you know who he is?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +No, I do not. All I know is that he is made to be loved; that if +things were left to my choice, I would much rather marry him than any +other, and that he adds not a little to the horrible dread that I have +of the husband they want to force upon me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Oh yes! All those dandies are very pleasant, and can talk +agreeably enough, but most of them are as poor as church mice; and it +is much better for you to marry an old husband, who gives you plenty +of money. I fully acknowledge that the senses somewhat clash with the +end I propose, and that there are certain little inconveniences to be +endured with such a husband; but all that won't last; and his death, +believe me, will soon put you in a position to take a more pleasant +husband, who will make amends for all.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +Oh, Frosine! What a strange state of things that, in order to be +happy, we must look forward to the death of another. Yet death will +not fall in with all the projects we make.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +You are joking. You marry him with the express understanding that +he will soon leave you a widow; it must be one of the articles of the +marriage contract. It would be very wrong in him not to die before +three months are over. Here he is himself.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. Ah! dear Frosine, what a face!</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE IX.——HARPAGON, MARIANNE, FROSINE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>). Do not be offended, fair one, if I come to +you with my glasses on. I know that your beauty is great enough to be +seen with the naked eye; but, still, it is with glasses that we look +at the stars, and I maintain and uphold that you are a star, the most +beautiful and in the land of stars. Frosine, she does not answer, +star, it seems to me, shows no joy at the sight of me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +It is because she is still quite awe-struck, and young girls are +always shy at first, and afraid of showing what they feel.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Frosine</span>). You are right. +(<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>) My +pretty darling, there is my daughter coming to welcome you.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE X.——HARPAGON, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +I am very late in acquitting myself of the visit I owed you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +You have done what I ought to have done. It was for me to have +come and seen you first.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You see what a great girl she is; but ill weeds grow apace.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. (<i>aside to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Frosine</span>). Oh, what an unpleasant man!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Frosine</span>). What does my fair one say?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. That she thinks you perfect.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You do me too much honour, my adorable darling.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +(<i>aside</i>). What a dreadful creature!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I really feel too grateful to you for these sentiments.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. (<i>aside</i>). I can bear it no longer.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE XI.——HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, +VALÈRE, FROSINE, BRINDAVOINE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Here is my son, who also comes to pay his respects to you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +(<i>aside to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Frosine</span>). +Oh, Frosine! what a strange meeting! +He is the very one of whom I spoke to you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>). Well, that is extraordinary.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You are surprised to see that my children can be so old; but I +shall soon get rid of both of them.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>). Madam, to tell you the truth, I little +expected such an event; and my father surprised me not a little when +he told me to-day of the decision he had come to.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +I can say the same thing. It is an unexpected meeting; and I +certainly was far from being prepared for such an event.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Madam, my father cannot make a better choice, and it is a great +joy to me to have the honour of welcoming you here. At the same time, +I cannot say that I should rejoice if it were your intention to become +my stepmother. I must confess that I should find it difficult to pay +you the compliment; and it is a title, forgive me, that I cannot wish +you to have. To some this speech would seem coarse, but I feel that +you understand it. This marriage, Madam, is altogether repugnant to +me. You are not ignorant, now that you know who I am, how opposed it +is to all my own interests, and with my father's permission I hope you +will allow me to say that, if things depended on me, it would never +take place.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>aside</i>). +What a very impertinent speech to make; and what +a confession to make to her!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +And as my answer, I must tell you that things are much the same +with me, and that, if you have any repugnance in seeing me your +stepmother, I shall have no less in seeing you my stepson. Do not +believe, I beg of you, that it is of my own will that this trouble has +come upon you. I should be deeply grieved to cause you the least +sorrow, and unless I am forced to it by a power I must obey, I give +you my word that, I will never consent to a marriage which is so +painful to you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +She is right. A foolish speech deserves a foolish answer. I beg +your pardon, my love, for the impertinence of my son. He is a silly +young fellow, who has not yet learnt the value of his own words.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +I assure you that he has not at all offended me. I am thankful, +on the contrary, that he has spoken so openly. I care greatly for such +a confession from him, and if he had spoken differently, I should feel +much less esteem for him.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It is very kind of you to excuse him thus. Time will make him +wiser, and you will see that his feelings will change.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +No, father, they will never change; and I earnestly beg of you, +Madam, to believe me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Did ever anybody see such folly? He is becoming worse and worse.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Would you have me false to my inmost feelings?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Again! Change your manners, if you please.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Very well, since you wish me to speak differently. Allow me, +Madam, to take for a moment my father's place; and forgive me if I +tell you that I never saw in the world anybody more charming than you +are; that I can understand no happiness to equal that of pleasing you, +and that to be your husband is a glory, a felicity, I should prefer to +the destinies of the greatest princes upon earth. Yes, Madam, to +possess you is, in my mind, to possess the best of all treasures; to +obtain you is all my ambition. There is nothing I would not do for so +precious a conquest, and the most powerful obstacles …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Gently, gently, my son, if you please.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +These are complimentary words which I speak to her in your name.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Bless me! I have a tongue of my own to explain my feelings, and I +really don't care for such an advocate as you … Here, bring us some +chairs.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +No; I think it is better for us to go at once to the fair, in +order to be back earlier, and have plenty of time for talking.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Brindavoine</span>). Have the carriage ready at once.</p> + +<p> </p> + + +<h3>SCENE XII.——HARPAGON, +MARIANNE, ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, FROSINE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>). +I hope you will excuse me, my dear, but I +forgot to order some refreshments for you, before you went out.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I have thought of it, father, and have ordered to be brought in +here some baskets of China oranges, sweet citrons, and preserves, +which I sent for in your name.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>aside, to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>). Valère!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. (<i>aside, to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). He has lost his senses!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +You are afraid, father, that it will not be enough? I hope, +Madam, that you will have the kindness to excuse it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +It was by no means necessary.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Did you ever see, Madam, a more brilliant diamond than the one my +father has upon his finger?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +It certainly sparkles very much.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +(<i>taking the diamond off his father's finger</i>). You must see +it near.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +It is a beautiful one; it possesses great lustre.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. (<i>steps before</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>, <i>who wants to restore it</i>). +No, Madam, it is in hands too beautiful; it is a present my father +gives you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. I?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Is it not true, father, that you wish her to keep it for your +sake?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>aside, to his son</i>). What?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>). +A strange question indeed! He is making me +signs that I am to force you to accept it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. I would not …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>). +I beg of you…. He would not take it back.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>aside</i>). I am bursting with rage!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +It would be …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. (<i>still hindering</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span> <i>from returning it</i>). No; I +tell you, you will offend him.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. Pray …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. By no means.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>aside</i>). Plague take …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +He is perfectly shocked at your refusal.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>aside, to his son</i>). Ah! traitor!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>). +You see he is in despair.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>aside, to his son, threatening him</i>). You villain!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Really, father, it is not my fault. I do all I can to persuade +her to accept it; but she is obstinate.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>in a rage, aside to his son</i>). Rascal!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +You are the cause, Madam, of my father scolding me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>aside, with the same looks</i>). Scoundrel!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>). +You will make him ill; for goodness' sake, +hesitate no longer.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>). +Why so much ceremony? Keep the ring, since +the gentleman wishes you to.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). +I will keep it now, Sir, in order not to +make you angry, and I shall take another opportunity of returning it +to you.</p> + +<p> </p> + + +<h3>SCENE XIII.——HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, +VALÈRE, FROSINE, BRINDAVOINE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Brind</span>. +Sir, there is a gentleman here who wants to speak to you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Tell him that I am engaged, and that I cannot see him to-day.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Brind</span>. +He says he has some money for you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>). +Pray, excuse me; I will come back directly.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE XIV.——HARPAGON, MARIANNE, +ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, FROSINE, LA MERLUCHE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Mer</span>. +(<i>comes in running, and throws</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span> <i>down</i>). +Sir …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Oh! he has killed me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +What's the matter, father? Have you hurt yourself?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +The wretch must have been bribed by some of my debtors to break +my neck.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). +There is nothing serious.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Mer</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). +I beg your pardon, Sir; I thought I had +better run fast to tell you….</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Mer</span>. +That your two horses have lost their shoes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Take them quickly to the smith.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +In the meantime, father, I will do the honours of the house for +you, and take this lady into the garden, where lunch will be brought.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE XV.——HARPAGON, VALÈRE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Valère, look after all this; and take care, I beseech you, to +save as much of it as you can, so that we may send it back to the +tradesman again.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. I will.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>alone</i>). Miscreant! do you mean to ruin me?</p> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<h2>ACT IV.</h2> + +<h3>SCENE I.——CLÉANTE, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, FROSINE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Let us come in here; we shall be much better. There is no one +about us that we need be afraid of, and we can speak openly.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Yes, Madam, my brother has told me of the love he has for you. I +know what sorrow and anxiety such trials as these may cause, and I +assure you that I have the greatest sympathy for you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +I feel it a great comfort in my trouble to have the sympathy of a +person like you, and I entreat you, Madam, ever to retain for me a +friendship so capable of softening the cruelty of my fate.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +You really are both very unfortunate not to have told me of all +this before. I might certainly have warded off the blow, and not have +carried things so far.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +What could I do? It is my evil destiny which has willed it so. +But you, fair Marianne, what have you resolved to do? What resolution +have you taken?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +Alas! Is it in my power to take any resolution? And, dependent as +I am, can I do anything else except form wishes?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +No other support for me in your heart? Nothing but mere wishes? +No pitying energy? No kindly relief? No active affection?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +What am I to say to you? Put yourself in my place, and judge what +I can possibly do. Advise me, dispose of me, I trust myself entirely +to you, for I am sure that you will never ask of me anything but what +is modest and seemly.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Alas! to what do you reduce me when you wish me to be guided +entirely by feelings of strict duty and of scrupulous propriety.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +But what would you have me do? Even if I were, for you, to divest +myself of the many scruples which our sex imposes on us, I have too +much regard for my mother, who has brought me up with great +tenderness, for me to give her any cause of sorrow. Do all you can +with her. Strive to win her. I give you leave to say and do all you +wish; and if anything depends upon her knowing the true state of my +feelings, by all means tell her what they are; indeed I will do it +myself if necessary.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Frosine, dear Frosine, will you not help us?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Indeed, I should like to do so, as you know. I am not naturally +unkind. Heaven has not given me a heart of flint, and I feel but too +ready to help when I see young people loving each other in all +earnestness and honesty. What can we do in this case?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Try and think a little.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. Advise us.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Invent something to undo what you have done.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Rather a difficult piece of business. +(<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Marianne</span>) As far +as your mother is concerned, she is not altogether unreasonable and we +might succeed in making her give to the son the gift she reserved for +the father. (<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>) +But the most disheartening part of it +all is that your father is your father.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Yes, so it is.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +I mean that he will bear malice if he sees that he is refused, +and he will be in no way disposed afterwards to give his consent to +your marriage. It would be well if the refusal could be made to come +from him, and you ought to try by some means or other to make him +dislike you, Marianne.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. You are quite right.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Yes, right enough, no doubt. That is what ought to be done; but +how in the world are we to set about it? Wait a moment. Suppose we had +a somewhat elderly woman with a little of the ability which I possess, +and able sufficiently well to represent a lady of rank, by means of a +retinue made up in haste, and of some whimsical title of a marchioness +or viscountess, whom we would suppose to come from Lower Brittany. I +should have enough power over your father to persuade him that she is +a rich woman, in possession, besides her houses, of a hundred thousand +crowns in ready money; that she is deeply in love with him, and that +she would marry him at any cost, were she even to give him all her +money by the marriage contract. I have no doubt he would listen to the +proposal. For certainly he loves you very much, my dear, but he loves +money still better. When once he has consented to your marriage, it +does not signify much how he finds out the true state of affairs about +our marchioness.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +All that is very well made up.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +Leave it to me; I just remember one of my friends who will do +beautifully.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Depend on my gratitude, Frosine, if you succeed. But, dear +Marianne, let us begin, I beg of you, by gaining over your mother; it +would be a great deal accomplished if this marriage were once broken +off. Make use, I beseech you, of all the power that her tenderness for +you gives you over her. Display without hesitation those eloquent +graces, those all-powerful charms, with which Heaven has endowed your +eyes and lips; forget not, I beseech you, those sweet persuasions, +those tender entreaties, those loving caresses to which, I feel, +nothing could be refused.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +I will do all I can, and will forget nothing.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE II.——HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, FROSINE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>aside, and without being seen</i>). +Ah! ah! my son is kissing the +hand of his intended stepmother, and his intended stepmother does not +seem much averse to it! Can there be any mystery in all this?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +Here comes my father.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +The carriage is quite ready, and you can start when you like.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Since you are not going, father, allow me to take care of them.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +No, stop here; they can easily take care of themselves, and I +want you.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE III.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Well, now, all consideration of stepmother aside, tell me what do +you think of this lady?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +What I think of her?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes, what do you think of her appearance, her figure, her beauty +and intelligence?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. So, so.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. But still?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +To tell you the truth, I did not find her such as I expected. Her +manner is that of a thorough coquette, her figure is rather awkward, +her beauty very middling, and her intelligence of the meanest order. +Do not suppose that I say this to make you dislike her; for if I must +have a stepmother, I like the idea of this one as well as of any +other.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You spoke to her just now, nevertheless….</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I paid her several compliments in your name, but it was to please +you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +So then you don't care for her?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Who? I? Not in the least.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I am sorry for it, for that puts an end to a scheme which had +occurred to me. Since I have seen her here, I have been thinking of my +own age; and I feel that people would find fault with me for marrying +so young a girl. This consideration had made me determine to abandon +the project, and as I had demanded her in marriage, and had given her +my promise, I would have given her to you if it were not for the +dislike you have for her.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. To me?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. To you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. In marriage?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. In marriage.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +It is true she is not at all to my taste; but, to please you, +father, I will bring myself to marry her, if you please.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +If I please! I am more reasonable than you think. I don't wish to +compel you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Excuse me! I will make an attempt to love her.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +No, no; a marriage cannot be happy where there is no love.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +That, my father, will, perhaps, come by and by, and it is said +that love is often the fruit of marriage.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +No, it is not right to risk it on the side of the man, and there +are some troublesome things I don't care to run the chance of. If you +had felt any inclination for her, you should have married her instead +of me, but as it is, I will return to my first intention and marry her +myself.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Well, father, since things are so, I had better be frank with +you, and reveal our secret to you. The truth is that I have loved her +ever since I saw her one day on the promenade. I intended to ask you +today to let me marry her, and I was only deterred from it because you +spoke of marrying her, and because I feared to displease you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Have you ever paid her any visits?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Yes, father.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Many?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Yes; considering how long we have been acquainted.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. You were well received.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Very well, but without her knowing who I was; and that is why +Marianne was so surprised when she saw me today.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Have you told her of your love, and of your intention of marrying +her?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Certainly, and I also spoke a little to the mother on the +subject.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Did she kindly receive your proposal for her daughter?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Yes, very kindly.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And does the daughter return your love?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +If I can believe appearances, she is certainly well disposed +towards me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>aside</i>). Well! I am very glad to have found out this +secret; it is the very thing I wanted to know. (<i>To his son</i>) +Now, look here, my son, I tell you what. You will have, if you please, +to get rid of your love for Marianne, to cease to pay your attentions +to a person I intend for myself, and to marry very soon the wife I +have chosen for you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +So, father, it is thus you deceive me! Very well, since things +are come to such a pass, I openly declare to you that I shall not give +up my love for Marianne. No! understand that henceforth there is +nothing from which I shall shrink in order to dispute her with you; +and if you have on your side the consent of the mother, perhaps I +shall have some other resources left to aid me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What, rascal! You dare to trespass on my grounds?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +It is you who trespass on mine. I was the first.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Am I not your father, and do you not owe me respect?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +There are things in which children are not called upon to pay +deference to their fathers; and love is no respector of persons.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +My stick will make you know me better.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +All your threatenings are nothing to me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. You will give up Marianne?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Never!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Bring me my stick. Quick, I say! my stick!</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE IV.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, MASTER JACQUES.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Hold! hold! Gentlemen, what does this mean? What are you thinking +of?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I don't care a bit for it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>). Ah! Sir, gently.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +He dares to speak to me with such impudence as that!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). Ah! Sir, I beg of you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. I shall keep to it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>). +What! to your father?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Let me do it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). +What! to your son? To me it's different.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I will make you judge between us, Master Jacques, so that you may +see that I have right on my side.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. Willingly. +(<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>) +Go a little farther back.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +There is a young girl I love and want to marry, and the scoundrel +has the impudence to love her also, and wants to marry her in spite of +me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. Oh! he is wrong.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Is it not an abominable thing to see a son who does not shrink +from becoming the rival of his father? And is it not his bounden duty +to refrain from interfering with my love?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +You are quite right; stop here, and let me go and speak to him.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Master Jacques</span>, +<i>who comes near him</i>). Very well; +if he wants to make you a judge between us, I have no objection. I +care little who it is, and I don't mind referring our quarrel to you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. You do me great honour.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I am in love with a young girl who returns my affection, and who +receives kindly the offer of my heart; but my father takes it into his +head to disturb our love by asking her in marriage.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +He certainly is wrong.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Is it not shameful for a man of his age to think of marrying? I +ask you if it is right for him to fall in love? and ought he not now +to leave that to younger men?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +You are quite right; he is not serious; let me speak a word or +two to him. (<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>) +Really, your son is not so extravagant +as you think, and is amenable to reason. He says that he is conscious +of the respect he owes you, and that he only got angry in the heat of +the moment. He will willingly submit to all you wish if you will only +promise to treat him more kindly than you do, and will give him in +marriage a person to his taste.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Ah! tell him, Master Jacques, that he will obtain everything from +me on those terms, and that, except Marianne, I leave him free to +choose for his wife whomsoever he pleases.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. Leave that to me. +(<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>) +Really, your father is not +so unreasonable as you make him out to me; and he tells me that it is +your violence which irritated him. He only objects to your way of +doing things, and is quite ready to grant you all you want, provided +you will use gentle means and will give him the deference, respect, +and submission that a son owes to his father.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Ah! Master Jacques, you can assure him that if he grants me +Marianne, he will always find me the most submissive of men, and that +I shall never do anything contrary to his pleasure.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). +It's all right; he consents to what you +say.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Nothing could be better.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>). +It's all settled; he is satisfied with your +promises.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Heaven be praised!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Gentlemen, you have nothing to do but to talk quietly over the +matter together; you are agreed now, and yet you were on the point of +quarrelling through want of understanding each other.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +My poor Jacques, I shall be obliged to you all my life.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Don't mention it, Sir.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You have given me great pleasure, Master Jacques, and deserve a +reward. (<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span> <i>feels in his pocket</i>, +<span class="smallcaps">Jacques</span> <i>holds out his +hand, but</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span> +<i>only pulls out his handkerchief, and +says</i>,) Go; I will remember it, I promise you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. I thank you kindly, Sir.</p> + +<p> </p> + + +<h3>SCENE V.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I beg your pardon, father, for having been angry.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It is nothing.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I assure you that I feel very sorry about it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I am very happy to see you reasonable again.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +How very kind of you so soon to forget my fault.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +One easily forgets the faults of children when they return to +their duty.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +What! you are not angry with me for my extravagant behaviour?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +By your submission and respectful conduct you compel me to forget +my anger.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I assure you, father, I shall for ever keep in heart the +remembrance of all your kindness.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And I promise you that, in future, you will obtain all you like +from me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Oh, father! I ask nothing more; it is sufficient for me that you +give me Marianne.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I say, father, that I am only too thankful already for what you +have done, and that when you give me Marianne, you give me everything.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Who talks of giving you Marianne?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. You, father.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. I?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What! is it not you who promised to give her up?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. I! give her up?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Certainly not.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Did you not give up all pretensions to her?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +On the contrary, I am more determined than ever to have her.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What, scoundrel! again?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Nothing can make me change my mind.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Let me get at you again, wretch!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. You can do as you please.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I forbid you ever to come within my sight.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. As you like.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. I abandon you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Abandon me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. I disown you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. Disown me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. I disinherit you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. As you will.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I give you my curse.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +I want none of your gifts.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE VI.——CLÉANTE, LA FLÈCHE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +(<i>leaving the garden with a casket</i>). Ah! Sir, you are +just in the nick of time. Quick! follow me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. What is the matter?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Follow me, I say. We are saved.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. How?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Here is all you want.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. What?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +I have watched for this all day.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. What is it?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +Your father's treasure that I have got hold of.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. How did you manage it?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">La Fl</span>. +I will tell you all about it. Let us be off. I can hear him +calling out.</p> + +<p> </p> + + +<h3>SCENE VII.——HARPAGON, <i>from the garden, rushing in without his hat, +and crying</i>—</h3> + + +<p>Thieves! thieves! assassins! murder! Justice, just heavens! I am +undone; I am murdered; they have cut my throat; they have stolen my +money! Who can it be? What has become of him? Where is he? Where is he +hiding himself? What shall I do to find him? Where shall I run? Where +shall I not run? Is he not here? Who is this? Stop! (<i>To himself, +taking hold of his own arm</i>) Give me back my money, wretch…. +Ah…! it is myself…. My mind is wandering, and I know not where I +am, who I am, and what I am doing. Alas! my poor money! my poor money! +my dearest friend, they have bereaved me of thee; and since thou art +gone, I have lost my support, my consolation, and my joy. All is ended +for me, and I have nothing more to do in the world! Without thee it is +impossible for me to live. It is all over with me; I can bear it no +longer. I am dying; I am dead; I am buried. Is there nobody who will +call me from the dead, by restoring my dear money to me, or by telling +me who has taken it? Ah! what is it you say? It is no one. Whoever has +committed the deed must have watched carefully for his opportunity, +and must have chosen the very moment when I was talking with my +miscreant of a son. I must go. I will demand justice, and have the +whole of my house put to the torture—my maids and my valets, my son, +my daughter, and myself too. What a crowd of people are assembled +here! Everyone seems to be my thief. I see no one who does not rouse +suspicion in me. Ha! what are they speaking of there? Of him who stole +my money? What noise is that up yonder? Is it my thief who is there? +For pity's sake, if you know anything of my thief, I beseech you to +tell me. Is he hiding there among you? They all look at me and laugh. +We shall see that they all have a share in the robbery. Quick! +magistrates, police, provosts, judges, racks, gibbets, and +executioners. I will hang everybody, and if I do not find my money, I +will hang myself afterwards.</p> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<h2>ACT V.</h2> + +<h3>SCENE I.——HARPAGON, A POLICE OFFICER.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +Leave that to me. I know my business. Thank Heaven! this is not +the first time I have been employed in finding out thieves; and I wish +I had as many bags of a thousand francs as I have had people hanged.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Every magistrate must take this affair in hand; and if my money +is not found, I shall call justice against justice itself.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +We must take all needful steps. You say there was in that +casket…?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Ten thousand crowns in cash.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +Ten thousand crowns!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Ten thousand crowns.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +A considerable theft.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +There is no punishment great enough for the enormity of the +crime; and if it remain unpunished, the most sacred things are no +longer secure.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +In what coins was that sum?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +In good louis d'or and pistoles of full weight.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +Whom do you suspect of this robbery?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Everybody. I wish you to take into custody the whole town and +suburbs.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +You must not, if you trust me, frighten anybody, but must use +gentle means to collect evidence, in order afterwards to proceed with +more rigour for the recovery of the sum which has been taken from you.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE II.——HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>at the end of the stage, turning back to the door by which he +came in</i>). I am coming back. Have his throat cut at once; have his +feet singed; put him in boiling water, and hang him up to the ceiling.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. What! Him who has robbed me?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +I was speaking of a sucking pig that your steward has just sent +me; and I want to have it dressed for you after my own fancy.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +This is no longer the question; and you have to speak of +something else to this gentleman.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Jacques</span>). Don't get frightened. I am not a man to +cause any scandal, and matters will be carried on by gentle means.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). Is this gentleman coming to supper with +you?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +You must, in this case, my good man, hide nothing from your +master.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Indeed, Sir, I will show you all I know, and will treat you in +the best manner I possibly can.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +That's not the question.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +If I do not give as good fare as I should like, it is the fault +of your steward, who has clipped my wings with the scissors of his +economy.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. R +ascal! We have other matters to talk about than your supper; and +I want you to tell me what has become of the money which has been +stolen from me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Some money has been stolen from you?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes, you rascal! And I'll have you hanged if you don't give it me +back again.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. (<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). +Pray, don't be hard upon him. I see by his +looks that he is an honest fellow, and that he will tell you all you +want to know without going to prison. Yes, my friend, if you confess, +no harm shall come to you, and you shall be well rewarded by your +master. Some money has been stolen from him, and it is not possible +that you know nothing about it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. (<i>aside</i>). +The very thing I wanted in order to be revenged +of our steward. Ever since he came here, he has been the favourite, +and his advice is the only one listened to. Moreover, I have forgotten +neither the cudgelling of to-day nor …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What are you muttering about there?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). +Leave him alone. He is preparing himself to +satisfy you; I told you that he was an honest fellow.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Sir, since you want me to tell you what I know, I believe it is +your steward who has done this.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Valère?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +He who seemed so faithful to me!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Himself. I believe that it is he who has robbed you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And what makes you believe it?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +What makes me believe it?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +I believe it … because I believe it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +But you must tell us the proofs you have.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Did you see him hanging about the place where I had put my money?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. Yes, indeed. Where was your money?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. In the garden.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Exactly; I saw him loitering about in the garden; and in what was +your money?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +In a casket.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +The very thing. I saw him with a casket.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And this casket, what was it like? I shall soon see if it is +mine.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +What it was like?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +It was like … like a casket.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +Of course. But describe it a little, to see if it is the same.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +It was a large casket.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +The one taken from me is a small one.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Yes, small if you look at it in that way; but I call it large +because of what it contains.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And what colour was it?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. What colour?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Of a colour … of a certain colour…. Can't you help me to find +the word?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Ugh!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. Red; isn't it?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. No, grey.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Ha! yes, reddish-grey! That's what I meant.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +There is no doubt about it, it's my casket for certain. Write +down his evidence, Sir! Heavens! whom can we trust after that? We must +never swear to anything, and I believe now that I might rob my own +self.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Harpagon</span>). +There he is coming back, Sir; I beg of you +not to go and tell him that it was I who let it all out, Sir.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE III.——HARPAGON, +THE POLICE OFFICER, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Come, come near, and confess the most abominable action, the most +horrible crime, that was ever committed.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +What do you want, Sir?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +What, wretch! you do not blush for shame after such a crime?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Of what crime do you speak?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Of what crime I speak? Base villain, as if you did not know what +I mean! It is in vain for you to try to hide it; the thing is +discovered, and I have just heard all the particulars. How could you +thus abuse my kindness, introduce yourself on purpose into my house to +betray me, and to play upon me such an abominable trick?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Sir, since everything is known to you, I will neither deny what I +have done nor will I try to palliate it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>aside</i>). Oh! oh! Have I guessed the truth?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I intended to speak to you about it, and I was watching for a +favourable opportunity; but, as this is no longer possible, I beg of +you not to be angry, and to hear my motives.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And what fine motives can you possibly give me, infamous thief?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Ah! Sir, I do not deserve these names. I am guilty towards you, +it is true; but, after all, my fault is pardonable.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +How pardonable? A premeditated trick, and such an assassination +as this!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I beseech you not to be so angry with me. When you have heard all +I have to say, you will see that the harm is not so great as you make +it out to be.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +The harm not so great as I make it out to be! What! my heart's +blood, scoundrel!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Your blood, Sir, has not fallen into bad hands. My rank is high +enough not to disgrace it, and there is nothing in all this for which +reparation cannot be made.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +It is, indeed, my intention that you should restore what you have +taken from me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Your honour, Sir, shall be fully satisfied.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Honour is not the question in all this. But tell me what made you +commit such a deed?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Alas! do you ask it?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes, I should rather think that I do.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +A god, Sir, who carries with him his excuses for all he makes +people do: Love.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Love?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Fine love that! fine love, indeed! the love of my gold!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +No, Sir, it is not your wealth that has tempted me, it is not +that which has dazzled me; and I swear never to pretend to any of your +possessions, provided you leave me what I have.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +In the name of all the devils, no, I shall not leave it to you. +But did anyone ever meet with such villainy! He wishes to keep what he +has robbed me of!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. Do you call that a robbery?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +If I call that a robbery? A treasure like that!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I readily acknowledge that it is a treasure, and the most +precious one you have. But it will not be losing it to leave it to me. +I ask you on my knees to leave in my possession this treasure so full +of charms; and if you do right, you will grant it to me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I will do nothing of the kind. What in the world are you driving +at?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +We have pledged our faith to each other, and have taken an oath +never to forsake one another.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +The oath is admirable, and the promise strange enough!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Yes, we are engaged to each other for ever.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I know pretty well how to disengage you, I assure you of that.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Nothing but death can separate us.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You must be devilishly bewitched by my money.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I have told you already, Sir, that it is not self-interest which +has prompted me to what I have done. It was not that which prompted my +heart; a nobler motive inspired me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +We shall hear presently that it is out of Christian charity that +he covets my money! But I will put a stop to all this, and justice, +impudent rascal, will soon give me satisfaction.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +You will do as you please, and I am ready to suffer all the +violence you care to inflict upon me, but I beg of you to believe, at +least, that if there is any harm done, I am the only one guilty, and +that your daughter has done nothing wrong in all this.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I should think not! It would be strange, indeed, if my daughter +had a share in this crime. But I will have that treasure back again, +and you must confess to what place you have carried it off. +<a href="#fmis6"><sup><small>6</small></sup></a><a name="fmisr6" id="fmisr6"></a> +</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I have not carried it off, and it is still in your house.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>aside</i>). O my beloved casket! +(<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>) My +treasure has not left my house?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. No, Sir.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Well, then, tell me, have you taken any liberties with…?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Ah! Sir, you wrong us both; the flame with which I burn is too +pure, too full of respect.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>aside</i>). He burns for my casket!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I had rather die than show the least offensive thought: I found +too much modesty and too much purity for that.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>aside</i>). My cash-box modest!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +All my desires were limited to the pleasures of sight, and +nothing criminal has profaned the passion those fair eyes have +inspired me with.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>aside</i>). +The fair eyes of my cash-box! He speaks of it as +a lover does of his mistress.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Dame Claude knows the whole truth, and she can bear witness to +it.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Hallo! my servant is an accomplice in this affair?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Yes, Sir, she was a witness to our engagement; and it was after +being sure of the innocence of my love that she helped me to persuade +your daughter to engage herself to me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Ah! +(<i>Aside</i>) Has the fear of justice made him lose his +senses? (<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>) +What rubbish are you talking about my +daughter?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I say, Sir, that I found it most difficult to make her modesty +consent to what my love asked of her.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +The modesty of whom?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Of your daughter; and it was only yesterday that she could make +up her mind to sign our mutual promise of marriage.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +My daughter has signed a promise of marriage?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Yes, Sir, and I have also signed.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +O heavens! another misfortune!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +(<i>to the</i> <span class="smallcaps">Officer</span>). +Write, Sir, write.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Aggravation of misery! +Excess of despair! (<i>To the</i> <span class="smallcaps">Officer</span>) +Sir, discharge your duty, and draw me up an indictment against him as +a thief and a suborner.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +As a thief and a suborner.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +These are names which I do not deserve, and when you know who I +am …</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE IV.——HARPAGON, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, +VALÈRE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES, THE POLICE OFFICER.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Ah! guilty daughter! unworthy of a father like me! is it thus +that you put into practice the lessons I have given you? You give your +love to an infamous thief, and engage yourself to him without my +consent! But you shall both be disappointed. +(<i>To</i> <span class="smallcaps">Élise</span>) Four +strong walls will answer for your conduct in the future; (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>) +and good gallows, impudent thief, shall do me justice for your +audacity.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Your anger will be no judge in this affair, and I shall at least +have a hearing before I am condemned.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I was wrong to say gallows; you shall be broken alive on the +wheel.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +(<i>kneeling to her father</i>). Ah! my father, be more merciful, +I beseech you, and do not let your paternal authority drive matters to +extremes. Do not suffer yourself to be carried away by the first +outburst of your anger, but give yourself time to consider what you +do. Take the trouble of inquiring about him whose conduct has offended +you. He is not what you imagine, and you will think it less strange +that I should have given myself to him, when you know that without him +you would long ago have lost me for ever. Yes, father, it is he who +saved me from the great danger I ran in the waters, and to whom you +owe the life of that very daughter who …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +All this is nothing; and it would have been much better for me if +he had suffered you to be drowned rather than do what he has done.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Eli</span>. +My father, I beseech you, in the name of paternal love, grant +me …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +No, no. I will hear nothing, and justice must have its course.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. (<i>aside</i>). +You shall pay me for the blows you gave me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Fro</span>. +What a perplexing state of affairs!</p> + +<p> </p> + + +<h3>SCENE V.——ANSELME, HARPAGON, ÉLISE, +MARIANNE, FROSINE, VALÈRE, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +What can have happened, Mr. Harpagon? You are quite upset.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Ah, Mr. Anselme, you see in me the most unfortunate of men; and +you can never imagine what vexation and disorder is connected with the +contract you have come to sign! I am attacked in my property; I am +attacked in my honour; and you see there a scoundrel and a wretch who +has violated the most sacred rights, who has introduced himself into +my house as a servant in order to steal my money, and seduce my +daughter.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Who ever thought of your money about which you rave?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes; they have given each other a promise of marriage. This +insult concerns you, Mr. Anselme; and it is you who ought to be +plaintiff against him, and who at your own expense ought to prosecute +him to the utmost, in order to be revenged.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +It is not my intention to force anybody to marry me, and to lay +claim to a heart which has already bestowed itself; but as far as your +interests are concerned, I am ready to espouse them as if they were my +own.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +This is the gentleman, an honest commissary, who has promised +that he will omit nothing of what concerns the duties of his office. +(<i>To the</i> <span class="smallcaps">Officer</span>, <i>showing</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>) Charge him, Sir, as he +ought to be, and make matters very criminal.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +I do not see what crime they can make of my passion for your +daughter, nor the punishment you think I ought to be condemned to for +our engagement; when it is known who I am …</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I don't care a pin for all those stories, and the world is full, +nowadays, of those pretenders to nobility, of those impostors, who +take advantage of their obscurity and deck themselves out insolently +with the first illustrious name that comes into their head.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Know that I am too upright to adorn myself with a name which is +not mine, and that all Naples can bear testimony to my birth!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +Softly! Take care of what you are about to say. You speak before +a man to whom all Naples is known, and who can soon see if your story +is true.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. (<i>proudly putting on his hat</i>). +I am not the man to fear +anything; and if all Naples is known to you, you know who was Don +Thomas d'Alburci.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +Certainly; I know who he is, and few people know him better than +I do.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I care neither for Don Thomas nor Don Martin. (<i>Seeing two +candles burning, he blows one out</i>.)</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +Have patience and let him speak; we shall soon know what he has +to say of him.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +That it is to him that I owe my birth.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. To him?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +Nonsense; you are laughing. Try and make out a more likely story, +and don't pretend to shelter yourself under such a piece of imposture.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Consider your words better before you speak; it is no imposture, +and I say nothing here that I cannot prove.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +What! You dare to call yourself the son of Don Thomas d'Alburci?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Yes, I dare to do so; and I am ready to maintain the truth +against anyone, who ever he may be.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +This audacity is marvellous. Learn to your confusion that it is +now at least sixteen years ago since the man of whom you speak died in +a shipwreck at sea with his wife and children, when he was trying to +save their lives from the cruel persecutions which accompanied the +troubles at Naples, and which caused the banishment of several noble +families.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Yes; but learn to your confusion that his son, seven +years of age, was, with a servant, saved from the wreck by a Spanish +vessel, and that this son is he who now speaks to you. Learn that the +captain of that ship, touched with compassion at my misfortune, loved +me; that he had me brought up as his own son, and that the profession +of arms has been my occupation ever since I was fit for it; that +lately I heard that my father is not dead, as I thought he was; that, +passing this way to go and find him out, an accident, arranged by +heaven, brought to my sight the charming Élise; that the sight of her +made me a slave to her beauty, and that the violence of my love and +the harshness of her father made me take the resolution to come into +his house disguised as a servant, and to send some one else to look +after my parents.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +But what other proofs have you besides your own words that all +this is not a fable based by you upon truth.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +What proofs? The captain of the Spanish vessel; a ruby seal which +belonged to my father; an agate bracelet which my mother put upon my +arm; and old Pedro, that servant who was saved with me from the wreck.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +Alas! I can answer here for what you have said; that you do not +deceive us; and all you say clearly tells me that you are my brother.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. You my sister!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +Yes, my heart was touched as soon as you began to speak; and our +mother, who will be delighted at seeing you, often told me of the +misfortunes of our family. Heaven spared us also in that dreadful +wreck; but our life was spared at the cost of our liberty, for my +mother and myself were taken up by pirates from the wreck of our +vessel. After ten years of slavery a lucky event gave us back to +liberty, and we returned to Naples, where we found all our property +sold, and could hear no news of our father. We embarked for Genoa, +where my mother went to gather what remained of a family estate which +had been much disputed. Leaving her unjust relatives, she came here, +where she has lived but a weary life.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +O heaven! how wonderful are thy doings, and how true it is that +it only belongs to thee to work miracles! Come to my arms, my +children, and share the joy of your happy father!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +You are our father?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +It was for you that my mother wept?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +Yes, my daughter; yes, my son; I am Don Thomas d'Alburci, whom +heaven saved from the waves, with all the money he had with him, and +who, after sixteen years, believing you all dead, was preparing, after +long journeys, to seek the consolations of a new family in marrying a +gentle and virtuous woman. The little security there was for my life +in Naples has made me abandon the idea of returning there, and having +found the means of selling what I had, I settled here under the name +of Anselme. I wished to forget the sorrows of a name associated with +so many and great troubles.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. (<i>to</i> +<span class="smallcaps">Anselme</span>). He is your son?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +That being so, I make you responsible for the ten thousand crowns +that he has stolen from me.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +He steal anything from you!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. Who said so?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Master Jacques.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Master Jacques</span>). You say that?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +You see that I am not saying anything.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +He certainly did. There is the officer who has received his +deposition.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Val</span>. +Can you really believe me capable of such a base action?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Capable or not capable, I must find my money.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>SCENE VI.——HARPAGON, ANSELME, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, +CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, FROSINE, THE POLICE OFFICER, +MASTER JACQUES, LA FLÈCHE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Do not grieve for your money, father, and accuse any one. I have +news of it, and I come here to tell you that if you consent to let me +marry Marianne, your money will be given back to you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. Where is it?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Do not trouble yourself about that. It is in a safe place, and I +answer for it; everything depends on your resolve. It is for you to +decide, and you have the choice either of losing Marianne or your +cash-box.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Has nothing been taken out?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +Nothing at all. Is it your intention to agree to this marriage, +and to join your consent to that of her mother, who leaves her at +liberty to do as she likes?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Mar</span>. +(<i>to</i> <span class="smallcaps">Cléante</span>). +But you do not know that this consent is no +longer sufficient, and that heaven has given me back a brother +(<i>showing</i> <span class="smallcaps">Valère</span>), +at the same time that it has given me back a +father (<i>showing</i> <span class="smallcaps">Anselme</span>); +and you have now to obtain me from him.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +Heaven, my dear children, has not restored you to me that I might +oppose your wishes. Mr. Harpagon, you must be aware that the choice of +a young girl is more likely to fall upon the son than upon the father. +Come, now, do not force people to say to you what is unnecessary, and +consent, as I do, to this double marriage.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +In order for me to be well advised, I must see my casket.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Cle</span>. +You shall see it safe and sound.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +I have no money to give my children in marriage.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +Never mind, I have some; do not let this trouble you.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Do you take upon yourself to defray the expenses of these two +weddings?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +Yes, I will take this responsibility upon myself. Are you +satisfied?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +Yes, provided you order me a new suit of clothes for the wedding.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +Agreed! Let us go and enjoy the blessings this happy day brings +us.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +Stop, Sirs, stop; softly, if you please. Who is to pay me for my +writing?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +We have nothing to do with your writing.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Off</span>. +Indeed! and yet I do not pretend to have done it for nothing.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +(<i>showing</i> <span class="smallcaps">Master Jacques</span>). +There is a fellow you can hang +in payment!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Jac</span>. +Alas! what is one to do? I receive a good cudgelling for telling +the truth, and now they would hang me for lying.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +Mr. Harpagon, you must forgive him this piece of imposture.</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +You will pay the officer then?</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Ans</span>. +Let it be so. Let us go quickly, my children, to share our joy +with your mother!</p> + +<p><span class="smallcaps">Har</span>. +And I to see my dear casket</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h4>THE END</h4> + +<p> </p> + +<hr class="narrow" /> + + +<h3>FOOTNOTES</h3> + +<p class="noindent"> +<a name="fmis1" id="fmis1"></a><a href="#fmis1r">1.</a> An old comic pastoral.</p> + +<p class="noindent"> +<a name="fmis2" id="fmis2"></a><a href="#fmisr2">2</a>. The real hero in Rabelais' 'Pantagruel.'</p> + +<p class="noindent"> +<a name="fmis3" id="fmis3"></a><a href="#fmis3r">3</a>. Frosine professes a knowledge of palmistry.</p> + +<p class="noindent"> +<a name="fmis4" id="fmis4"></a><a href="#fmisr4">4</a>. Old enemies. The Turks took Candia from +the Venetians in 1669, after a war of twenty years.</p> + +<p class="noindent"> +<a name="fmis5" id="fmis5"></a><a href="#fmisr5">5</a>. Molière makes use even of his own infirmities. +Compare act i. scene iii. This cough killed him at last.</p> + +<p class="noindent"> +<a name="fmis6" id="fmis6"></a><a href="#fmisr6">6</a>. A good deal of the mystification +is lost in the translation through the necessity of occasionally +putting <i>it</i> for <i>casket</i>, and <i>she</i> for <i>Élise</i>.</p> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MISER (L'AVARE)***</p> +<p>******* This file should be named 6923-h.txt or 6923-h.zip *******</p> +<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> +<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/6/9/2/6923">http://www.gutenberg.org/6/9/2/6923</a></p> +<p>Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed.</p> + +<p>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Miser (L'Avare) + + +Author: Molière + + + +Release Date: February 11, 2003 [eBook #6923] +Most recently updated: January 6, 2009 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MISER (L'AVARE)*** + + +E-text prepared by Delphine Lettau and the Project Gutenberg Online +Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net) + + + +THE MISER. (L'AVARE.) + +by + +MOLIERE + +Translated into English Prose + +With a Short Introduction and Explanatory Notes. + +by + +CHARLES HERON WALL + + + + + + + +This play was acted for the first time on September 9, 1668. In it, +Moliere has borrowed from Plautus, and has imitated several other +authors, but he far surpasses them in the treatment of his subject. +The picture of the miser, in whom love of money takes the place of all +natural affections, who not only withdraws from family intercourse, +but considers his children as natural enemies, is finely drawn, and +renders Moliere's Miser altogether more dramatic and moral than those +of his predecessors. + +Moliere acted the part of Harpagon. + + + + +PERSONS REPRESENTED. + + +HARPAGON, _father to_ CLEANTE, _in love with_ MARIANNE. +CLEANTE, HARPAGON'S _son, lover to_ MARIANNE. +VALERE, _son to_ ANSELME, _and lover to_ ELISE. +ANSELME, _father to_ VALERE _and_ MARIANNE. +MASTER SIMON, _broker_. +MASTER JACQUES, _cook and coachman to_ HARPAGON. +LA FLECHE, _valet to_ CLEANTE. +BRINDAVOINE _and_ LA MERLUCHE, _lackeys to_ HARPAGON. +A MAGISTRATE _and his_ CLERK. +ELISE, _daughter to_ HARPAGON. +MARIANNE, _daughter to_ ANSELME. +FROSINE, _an intriguing woman_. +MISTRESS CLAUDE, _servant to_ HARPAGON. + + * * * * * + +_The scene is at_ PARIS, _in_ HARPAGON'S _house_. + + + + +THE MISER. + + + +ACT I. + +SCENE I.--VALERE, ELISE. + + +VAL. What, dear Elise! you grow sad after having given me such dear +tokens of your love; and I see you sigh in the midst of my joy! Can +you regret having made me happy? and do you repent of the engagement +which my love has forced from you? + +ELI. No, Valere, I do not regret what I do for you; I feel carried on +by too delightful a power, and I do not even wish that things should +be otherwise than they are. Yet, to tell you the truth, I am very +anxious about the consequences; and I greatly fear that I love you +more than I should. + +VAL. What can you possibly fear from the affection you have shown me? + +ELI. Everything; the anger of my father, the reproaches of my family, +the censure of the world, and, above all, Valere, a change in your +heart! I fear that cruel coldness with which your sex so often repays +the too warm proofs of an innocent love. + +VAL. Alas! do not wrong me thus; do not judge of me by others. Think +me capable of everything, Elise, except of falling short of what I owe +to you. I love you too much for that; and my love will be as lasting +as my life! + +ELI. Ah! Valere, all men say the same thing; all men are alike in +their words; their actions only show the difference that exists +between them. + +VAL. Then why not wait for actions, if by them alone you can judge of +the truthfulness of my heart? Do not suffer your anxious fears to +mislead you, and to wrong me. Do not let an unjust suspicion destroy +the happiness which is to me dearer than life; but give me time to +show you by a thousand proofs the sincerity of my affection. + +ELI. Alas! how easily do we allow ourselves to be persuaded by those +we love. I believe you, Valere; I feel sure that your heart is utterly +incapable of deceiving me, that your love is sincere, and that you +will ever remain faithful to me. I will no longer doubt that happiness +is near. If I grieve, it will only be over the difficulties of our +position, and the possible censures of the world. + +VAL. But why even this fear? + +ELI. Oh, Valere! if everybody knew you as I do, I should not have much +to fear. I find in you enough to justify all I do for you; my heart +knows all your merit, and feels, moreover, bound to you by deep +gratitude. How can I forget that horrible moment when we met for the +first time? Your generous courage in risking your own life to save +mine from the fury of the waves; your tender care afterwards; your +constant attentions and your ardent love, which neither time nor +difficulties can lessen! For me you neglect your parents and your +country; you give up your own position in life to be a servant of my +father! How can I resist the influence that all this has over me? Is +it not enough to justify in my eyes my engagement to you? Yet, who +knows if it will be enough to justify it in the eyes of others? and +how can I feel sure that my motives will be understood? + +VAL. You try in vain to find merit in what I have done; it is by my +love alone that I trust to deserve you. As for the scruples you feel, +your father himself justifies you but too much before the world; and +his avarice and the distant way in which he lives with his children +might authorise stranger things still. Forgive me, my dear Elise, for +speaking thus of your father before you; but you know that, +unfortunately, on this subject no good can be said of him. However, if +I can find my parents, as I fully hope I shall, they will soon be +favourable to us. I am expecting news of them with great impatience; +but if none comes I will go in search of them myself. + +ELI. Oh no! Valere, do not leave me, I entreat you. Try rather to +ingratiate yourself in my father's favour. + +VAL. You know how much I wish it, and you can see how I set about it. +You know the skilful manoeuvres I have had to use in order to +introduce myself into his service; under what a mask of sympathy and +conformity of tastes I disguise my own feelings to please him; and +what a part I play to acquire his affection. I succeed wonderfully +well, and I feel that to obtain favour with men, there are no better +means than to pretend to be of their way of thinking, to fall in with +their maxims, to praise their defects, and to applaud all their +doings. One need not fear to overdo it, for however gross the +flattery, the most cunning are easily duped; there is nothing so +impertinent or ridiculous which they will not believe, provided it be +well seasoned with praise. Honesty suffers, I acknowledge; but when we +have need of men, we may be allowed without blame to adapt ourselves +to their mode of thought; and if we have no other hope of success but +through such stratagem, it is not after all the fault of those who +flatter, but the fault of those who wish to be flattered. + +ELI. Why do you not try also to gain my brother's goodwill, in case +the servant should betray our secret? + +VAL. I am afraid I cannot humour them both. The temper of the father +is so different from that of the son that it would be difficult to be +the confidant of both at the same time. Rather try your brother +yourself; make use of the love that exists between you to enlist him +in our cause. I leave you, for I see him coming. Speak to him, sound +him, and see how far we can trust him. + +ELI. I greatly fear I shall never have the courage to speak to him of +my secret. + + +SCENE II.--CLEANTE, ELISE, + +CLE. I am very glad to find you alone, sister. I longed to speak to +you and to tell you a secret. + +ELI. I am quite ready to hear you, brother. What is it you have to +tell me? + +CLE. Many things, sister, summed up in one word--love. + +ELI. You love? + +CLE. Yes, I love. But, before I say more, let me tell you that I know +I depend on my father, and that the name of son subjects me to his +will; that it would be wrong to engage ourselves without the consent +of the authors of our being; that heaven has made them the masters of +our affections, and that it is our duty not to dispose of ourselves +but in accordance to their wish; that their judgment is not biassed by +their being in love themselves; that they are, therefore, much more +likely not to be deceived by appearances, and to judge better what is +good for us; that we ought to trust their experience rather than the +passion which blinds us; and that the rashness of youth often carries +us to the very brink of dangerous abysses. I know all this, my sister, +and I tell it you to spare you the trouble of saying it to me, for my +love will not let me listen to anything, and I pray you to spare me +your remonstrances. + +ELI. Have you engaged yourself, brother, to her you love? + +CLE. No, but I have determined to do so; and I beseech you once more +not to bring forward any reason to dissuade me from it. + +ELI. Am I such a very strange person, brother? + +CLE. No, dear sister; but you do not love. You know not the sweet +power that love has upon our hearts; and I dread your wisdom. + +ELI. Alas! my brother, let us not speak of my wisdom. There are very +few people in this world who do not lack wisdom, were it only once in +their lifetime; and if I opened my heart to you, perhaps you would +think me less wise than you are yourself. + +CLE. Ah! would to heaven that your heart, like mine ... + +ELI. Let us speak of you first, and tell me whom it is you love. + +CLE. A young girl who has lately come to live in our neighbourhood, +and who seems made to inspire love in all those who behold her. +Nature, my dear sister, has made nothing more lovely; and I felt +another man the moment I saw her. Her name is Marianne, and she lives +with a good, kind mother, who is almost always ill, and for whom the +dear girl shows the greatest affection. She waits upon her, pities and +comforts her with a tenderness that would touch you to the very soul. +Whatever she undertakes is done in the most charming way; and in all +her actions shine a wonderful grace, a most winning gentleness, an +adorable modesty, a ... ah! my sister, how I wish you had but seen +her. + +ELI. I see many things in what you tell me, dear brother; and it is +sufficient for me to know that you love her for me to understand what +she is. + +CLE. I have discovered, without their knowing it, that they are not in +very good circumstances, and that, although they live with the +greatest care, they have barely enough to cover their expenses. Can +you imagine, my sister, what happiness it must be to improve the +condition of those we love; skilfully to bring about some relief to +the modest wants of a virtuous family? And think what grief it is for +me to find myself deprived of this great joy through the avarice of a +father, and for it to be impossible for me to give any proof of my +love to her who is all in all to me. + +ELI. Yes, I understand, dear brother, what sorrow this must be to you. + +CLE. It is greater, my sister, than you can believe. For is there +anything more cruel than this mean economy to which we are subjected? +this strange penury in which we are made to pine? What good will it do +us to have a fortune if it only comes to us when we are not able to +enjoy it; if now to provide for my daily maintenance I get into debt +on every side; if both you and I are reduced daily to beg the help of +tradespeople in order to have decent clothes to wear? In short, I +wanted to speak to you that you might help me to sound my father +concerning my present feelings; and if I find him opposed to them, I +am determined to go and live elsewhere with this most charming girl, +and to make the best of what Providence offers us. I am trying +everywhere to raise money for this purpose; and if your circumstances, +dear sister, are like mine, and our father opposes us, let us both +leave him, and free ourselves from the tyranny in which his hateful +avarice has for so long held us. + +ELI. It is but too true that every day he gives us more and more +reason to regret the death of our mother, and that ... + +CLE. I hear his voice. Let us go a little farther and finish our talk. +We will afterwards join our forces to make a common attack on his hard +and unkind heart. + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, LA FLECHE. + +HAR. Get out of here, this moment; and let me have no more of your +prating. Now then, be gone out of my house, you sworn pickpocket, you +veritable gallows' bird. + +LA FL. (_aside_). I never saw anything more wicked than this +cursed old man; and I truly believe, if I may be allowed to say so, +that he is possessed with a devil. + +HAR. What are you muttering there between your teeth? + +LA FL. Why do you send me away? + +HAR. You dare to ask me my reasons, you scoundrel? Out with you, this +moment, before I give you a good thrashing. + +LA FL. What have I done to you? + +HAR. Done this, that I wish you to be off. + +LA FL. My master, your son, gave me orders to wait for him. + +HAR. Go and wait for him in the street, then; out with you; don't stay +in my house, straight and stiff as a sentry, to observe what is going +on, and to make your profit of everything. I won't always have before +me a spy on all my affairs; a treacherous scamp, whose cursed eyes +watch all my actions, covet all I possess, and ferret about in every +corner to see if there is anything to steal. + +LA FL. How the deuce could one steal anything from you? Are you a man +likely to be robbed when you put every possible thing under lock and +key, and mount guard day and night? + +HAR. I will lock up whatever I think fit, and mount guard when and +where I please. Did you ever see such spies as are set upon me to take +note of everything I do? (_Aside_) I tremble for fear he should +suspect something of my money. (_Aloud_) Now, aren't you a fellow +to give rise to stories about my having money hid in my house? + +LA FL. You have some money hid in your house? + +HAR. No, scoundrel! I do not say that. (_Aside_) I am furious! +(_Aloud_) I only ask if out of mischief you do not spread abroad +the report that I have some? + +LA FL. Oh! What does it matter whether you have money, or whether you +have not, since it is all the same to us? + +HAR. (_raising his hand to give_ LA FLECHE _a blow_). Oh! oh! You +want to argue, do you? I will give you, and quickly too, some few of +these arguments about your ears. Get out of the house, I tell you once +more. + +LA FL. Very well; very well. I am going. + +HAR. No, wait; are you carrying anything away with you? + +LA FL. What can I possibly carry away? + +HAR. Come here, and let me see. Show me your hands. + +LA FL. There they are. + +HAR. The others. + +LA FL. The others? + +HAR. Yes. + +LA FL. There they are. + +HAR. (_pointing to_ LA FLECHE'S _breeches_). Have you anything hid +in here? + +LA FL. Look for yourself. + +HAR. (_feeling the knees of the breeches_). These wide knee-breeches +are convenient receptacles of stolen goods; and I wish a pair of them +had been hanged. + +LA FL. (_aside_). Ah! how richly such a man deserves what he fears, +and what joy it would be to me to steal some of his ... + +HAR. Eh? + +LA FL. What? + +HAR. What is it you talk of stealing? + +LA FL. I say that you feel about everywhere to see if I have been +stealing anything. + +HAR. And I mean to do so too. (_He feels in_ LA FLECHE'S _pockets_). + +LA FL. Plague take all misers and all miserly ways! + +HAR. Eh? What do you say? + +LA FL. What do I say? + +HAR. Yes. What is it you say about misers and miserly ways. + +LA FL. I say plague take all misers and all miserly ways. + +HAR. Of whom do you speak? + +LA FL. Of misers. + +HAR. And who are they, these misers? + +LA FL. Villains and stingy wretches! + +HAR. But what do you mean by that? + +LA FL. Why do you trouble yourself so much about what I say? + +HAR. I trouble myself because I think it right to do so. + +LA FL. Do you think I am speaking about you? + +HAR. I think what I think; but I insist upon your telling me to whom +you speak when you say that. + +LA FL. To whom I speak? I am speaking to the inside of my hat. + +HAR. And I will, perhaps, speak to the outside of your head. + +LA FL. Would you prevent me from cursing misers? + +HAR. No; but I will prevent you from prating and from being insolent. +Hold your tongue, will you? + +LA FL. I name nobody. + +HAR. Another word, and I'll thrash you. + +LA FL. He whom the cap fits, let him wear it. + +HAR. Will you be silent? + +LA FL. Yes; much against my will. + +HAR. Ah! ah! + +LA FL. (_showing_ HARPAGON _one of his doublet pockets_). Just look, +here is one more pocket. Are you satisfied? + +HAR. Come, give it up to me without all that fuss. + +LA FL. Give you what? + +HAR. What you have stolen from me. + +LA FL. I have stolen nothing at all from you. + +HAR. Are you telling the truth? + +LA FL. Yes. + +HAR. Good-bye, then, and now you may go to the devil. + +LA FL. (_aside_). That's a nice way of dismissing anyone. + +HAR. I leave it to your conscience, remember! + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON (_alone_.) + +This rascally valet is a constant vexation to me; and I hate the very +sight of the good-for-nothing cripple. Really, it is no small anxiety +to keep by one a large sum of money; and happy is the man who has all +his cash well invested, and who needs not keep by him more than he +wants for his daily expenses. I am not a little puzzled to find in the +whole of this house a safe hiding-place. Don't speak to me of your +strong boxes, I will never trust to them. Why, they are just the very +things thieves set upon! + + +SCENE V.--HARPAGON, ELISE _and_ CLEANTE _are seen talking together at +the back of the stage._ + +HAR. (_thinking himself alone_.) Meanwhile, I hardly know whether I +did right to bury in my garden the ten thousand crowns which were paid +to me yesterday. Ten thousand crowns in gold is a sum sufficiently ... +(_Aside, on perceiving_ ELISE _and_ CLEANTE _whispering together_) +Good heavens! I have betrayed myself; my warmth has carried me away. I +believe I spoke aloud while reasoning with myself. (_To_ CLEANTE _and_ +ELISE) What do you want? + +CLE. Nothing, father. + +HAR. Have you been here long? + +ELI. We have only just come. + +HAR. Did you hear...? + +CLE. What, father? + +HAR. There...! + +CLE. What? + +HAR. What I was just now saying. + +CLE. No. + +HAR. You did. I know you did. + +ELI. I beg your pardon, father, but we did not. + +HAR. I see well enough that you overheard a few words. The fact is, I +was only talking to myself about the trouble one has nowadays to raise +any money; and I was saying that he is a fortunate man who has ten +thousand crowns in his house. + +CLE. We were afraid of coming near you, for fear of intruding. + +HAR. I am very glad to tell you this, so that you may not misinterpret +things, and imagine that I said that it was I who have ten thousand +crowns. + +CLE. We do not wish to interfere in your affairs. + +HAR. Would that I had them, these ten thousand crowns! + +CLE. I should not think that ... + +HAR. What a capital affair it would be for me. + +CLE. There are things ... + +HAR. I greatly need them. + +CLE. I fancy that ... + +HAR. It would suit me exceedingly well. + +ELI. You are ... + +HAR. And I should not have to complain, as I do now, that the times +are bad. + +CLE. Dear me, father, you have no reason to complain; and everyone +knows that you are well enough off. + +HAR. How? I am well enough off! Those who say it are liars. Nothing +can be more false; and they are scoundrels who spread such reports. + +ELI. Don't be angry. + +HAR. It is strange that my own children betray me and become my +enemies. + +CLE. Is it being your enemy to say that you have wealth? + +HAR. Yes, it is. Such talk and your extravagant expenses will be the +cause that some day thieves will come and cut my throat, in the belief +that I am made of gold. + +CLE. What extravagant expenses do I indulge in? + +HAR. What! Is there anything more scandalous than this sumptuous +attire with which you jaunt it about the town? I was remonstrating +with your sister yesterday, but you are still worse. It cries +vengeance to heaven; and were we to calculate all you are wearing, +from head to foot, we should find enough for a good annuity. I have +told you a hundred times, my son, that your manners displease me +exceedingly; you affect the marquis terribly, and for you to be always +dressed as you are, you must certainly rob me. + +CLE. Rob you? And how? + +HAR. How should I know? Where else could you find money enough to +clothe yourself as you do? + +CLE. I, father? I play; and as I am very lucky, I spend in clothes all +the money I win. + +HAR. It is very wrong. If you are lucky at play, you should profit by +it, and place the money you win at decent interest, so that you may +find it again some day. I should like to know, for instance, without +mentioning the rest, what need there is for all these ribbons with +which you are decked from head to foot, and if half a dozen tags are +not sufficient to fasten your breeches. What necessity is there for +anyone to spend money upon wigs, when we have hair of our own growth, +which costs nothing. I will lay a wager that, in wigs and ribbons +alone, there are certainly twenty pistoles spent, and twenty pistoles +brings in at least eighteen livres six sous eight deniers per annum, +at only eight per cent interest. + +CLE. You are quite right. + +HAR. Enough on this subject; let us talk of something else. (_Aside, +noticing_ CLEANTE _and_ ELISE, _who make signs to one another_) +I believe they are making signs to one another to pick my pocket. +(_Aloud_) What do you mean by those signs? + +ELI. We are hesitating as to who shall speak first, for we both have +something to tell you. + +HAR. And I also have something to tell you both. + +CLE. We wanted to speak to you about marriage, father. + +HAR. The very thing I wish to speak to you about. + +ELI. Ah! my father! + +HAR. What is the meaning of that exclamation? Is it the word, +daughter, or the thing itself that frightens you? + +CLE. Marriage may frighten us both according to the way you take it; +and our feelings may perhaps not coincide with your choice. + +HAR. A little patience, if you please. You need not be alarmed. I know +what is good for you both, and you will have no reason to complain of +anything I intend to do. To begin at the beginning. (_To_ CLEANTE) Do +you know, tell me, a young person, called Marianne, who lives not far +from here? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. And you? + +ELI. I have heard her spoken of. + +HAR. Well, my son, and how do you like the girl? + +CLE. She is very charming. + +HAR. Her face? + +CLE. Modest and intelligent. + +HAR. Her air and manner? + +CLE. Perfect, undoubtedly. + +HAR. Do you not think that such a girl well deserves to be thought of? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. She would form a very desirable match? + +CLE. Very desirable. + +HAR. That there is every likelihood of her making a thrifty and +careful wife. + +CLE. Certainly. + +HAR. And that a husband might live very happily with her? + +CLE. I have not the least doubt about it. + +HAR. There is one little difficulty; I am afraid she has not the +fortune we might reasonably expect. + +CLE. Oh, my father, riches are of little importance when one is sure +of marrying a virtuous woman. + +HAR. I beg your pardon. Only there is this to be said: that if we do +not find as much money as we could wish, we may make it up in +something else. + +CLE. That follows as a matter of course. + +HAR. Well, I must say that I am very much pleased to find that you +entirely agree with me, for her modest manner and her gentleness have +won my heart; and I have made up my mind to marry her, provided I find +she has some dowry. + +CLE. Eh! + +HAR. What now? + +CLE. You are resolved, you say...? + +HAR. To marry Marianne. + +CLE. Who? you? you? + +HAR. Yes, I, I, I. What does all this mean? + +CLE. I feel a sudden dizziness, and I must withdraw for a little +while. + +HAR. It will be nothing. Go quickly into the kitchen and drink a large +glass of cold water, it will soon set you all right again. + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ELISE. + +HAR. There goes one of your effeminate fops, with no more stamina than +a chicken. That is what I have resolved for myself, my daughter. As to +your brother, I have thought for him of a certain widow, of whom I +heard this morning; and you I shall give to Mr. Anselme. + +ELI. To Mr. Anselme? + +HAR. Yes, a staid and prudent man, who is not above fifty, and of +whose riches everybody speaks. + +ELI. (_curtseying_). I have no wish to marry, father, if you +please. + +HAR. (_imitating_ ELISE). And I, my little girl, my darling, I wish +you to marry, if you please. + +ELI. (_curtseying again_). I beg your pardon, my father. + +HAR. (_again imitating_ ELISE). I beg your pardon, my daughter. + +ELI. I am the very humble servant of Mr. Anselme, but (_curtseying +again_), with your leave, I shall not marry him. + +HAR. I am your very humble servant, but (_again imitating_ ELISE) you +will marry him this very evening. + +ELI. This evening? + +HAR. This evening. + +ELI. (_curtseying again_). It cannot be done, father. + +HAR. (_imitating_ ELISE). It will be done, daughter. + +ELI. No. + +HAR. Yes. + +ELI. No, I tell you. + +HAR. Yes, I tell you. + +ELI. You will never force me to do such a thing + +HAR. I will force you to it. + +ELI. I had rather kill myself than marry such a man. + +HAR. You will not kill yourself, and you will marry him. But did you +ever see such impudence? Did ever any one hear a daughter speak in +such a fashion to her father? + +ELI. But did ever anyone see a father marry his daughter after such a +fashion? + +HAR. It is a match against which nothing can be said, and I am +perfectly sure that everybody will approve of my choice. + +ELI. And I know that it will be approved of by no reasonable person. + +HAR. (_seeing_ VALERE). There is Valere coming. Shall we make him +judge in this affair? + +ELI. Willingly. + +HAR. You will abide by what he says? + +ELI. Yes, whatever he thinks right, I will do. + +HAR. Agreed. + + +SCENE VII.--VALERE, HARPAGON, ELISE. + +HAR. Valere, we have chosen you to decide who is in the right, my +daughter or I. + +VAL. It is certainly you, Sir. + +HAR. But have you any idea of what we are talking about? + +VAL. No; but you could not be in the wrong; you are reason itself. + +HAR. I want to give her to-night, for a husband, a man as rich as he +is good; and the hussy tells me to my face that she scorns to take +him. What do you say to that? + +VAL. What I say to it? + +HAR. Yes? + +VAL. Eh! eh! + +HAR. What? + +VAL. I say that I am, upon the whole, of your opinion, and that you +cannot but be right; yet, perhaps, she is not altogether wrong; +and ... + +HAR. How so? Mr. Anselme is an excellent match; he is a nobleman, and +a gentleman too; of simple habits, and extremely well off. He has no +children left from his first marriage. Could she meet with anything +more suitable? + +VAL. It is true. But she might say that you are going rather fast, and +that she ought to have at least a little time to consider whether her +inclination could reconcile itself to ... + +HAR. It is an opportunity I must not allow to slip through my fingers. +I find an advantage here which I should not find elsewhere, and he +agrees to take her without dowry. + +VAL. Without dowry? + +HAR. Yes. + +VAL. Ah! I have nothing more to say. A more convincing reason could +not be found; and she must yield to that. + +HAR. It is a considerable saving to me. + +VAL. Undoubtedly; this admits of no contradiction. It is true that +your daughter might represent to you that marriage is a more serious +affair than people are apt to believe; that the happiness or misery of +a whole life depends on it, and that an engagement which is to last +till death ought not to be entered into without great consideration. + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. That must of course decide everything. There are certainly people +who might tell you that on such occasions the wishes of a daughter are +no doubt to be considered, and that this great disparity of age, of +disposition, and of feelings might be the cause of many an unpleasant +thing in a married life. + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. Ah! it must be granted that there is no reply to that; who in the +world could think otherwise? I do not mean to say but that there are +many fathers who would set a much higher value on the happiness of +their daughter than on the money they may have to give for their +marriage; who would not like to sacrifice them to their own interests, +and who would, above all things, try to see in a marriage that sweet +conformity of tastes which is a sure pledge of honour, tranquillity +and joy; and that ... + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. That is true; nothing more can be said. Without dowry. How can +anyone resist such arguments? + +HAR. (_aside, looking towards the garden_). Ah! I fancy I hear a dog +barking. Is anyone after my money. (_To_ VALERE) Stop here, I'll come +back directly. + + +SCENE VIII.--ELISE, VALERE. + +ELI. Surely, Valere, you are not in earnest when you speak to him in +that manner? + +VAL. I do it that I may not vex him, and the better to secure my ends. +To resist him boldly would simply spoil everything. There are certain +people who are only to be managed by indirect means, temperaments +averse from all resistance, restive natures whom truth causes to rear, +who always kick when we would lead them on the right road of reason, +and who can only be led by a way opposed to that by which you wish +them to go. Pretend to comply with his wishes; you are much more +likely to succeed in the end, and ... + +ELI. But this marriage, Valere? + +VAL. We will find some pretext for breaking it off. + +ELI. But what pretext can we find if it is to be concluded to-night? + +VAL. You must ask to have it delayed, and must feign some illness or +other. + +ELI. But he will soon discover the truth if they call in the doctor. + +VAL. Not a bit of it. Do you imagine that a doctor understands what he +is about? Nonsense! Don't be afraid. Believe me, you may complain of +any disease you please, the doctor will be at no loss to explain to +you from what it proceeds. + + +SCENE IX--HARPAGON, ELISE, VALERE. + +HAR. (_alone, at the farther end of the stage_). It is nothing, +thank heaven! + +VAL. (_not seeing_ HARPAGON). In short, flight is the last resource we +have left us to avoid all this; and if your love, dear Elise, is as +strong as ... (_Seeing_ HARPAGON) Yes, a daughter is bound to obey her +father. She has no right to inquire what a husband offered to her is +like, and when the most important question, "without dowry," presents +itself, she should accept anybody that is given her. + +HAR. Good; that was beautifully said! + +VAL. I beg your pardon, Sir, if I carry it a little too far, and take +upon myself to speak to her as I do. + +HAR. Why, I am delighted, and I wish you to have her entirely under +your control. (_To_ ELISE) Yes, you may run away as much as you like. +I give him all the authority over you that heaven has given me, and I +will have you do all that he tells you. + +VAL. After that, resist all my expostulations, if you can. + + +SCENE X.--HARPAGON, VALERE. + + +VAL. I will follow her, Sir, if you will allow me, and will continue +the lecture I was giving her. + +HAR. Yes, do so; you will oblige me greatly. + +VAL. She ought to be kept in with a tight hand. + +HAR. Quite true, you must.... + +VAL. Do not be afraid; I believe I shall end by convincing her. + +HAR. Do so, do so. I am going to take a short stroll in the town, and +I will come back again presently. + +VAL. (_going towards the door through which_ ELISE _left, and speaking +as if it were to her_). Yes, money is more precious than anything else +in the world, and you should thank heaven that you have so worthy a +man for a father. He knows what life is. When a man offers to marry a +girl without a dowry, we ought to look no farther. Everything is +comprised in that, and "without dowry" compensates for want of beauty, +youth, birth, honour, wisdom, and probity. + +HAR. Ah! the honest fellow! he speaks like an oracle. Happy is he who +can secure such a servant! + + + + +ACT II. + +SCENE I.--CLEANTE, LA FLECHE. + + +CLE. How now, you rascal! where have you been hiding? Did I not give +you orders to...? + +LA FL. Yes, Sir, and I came here resolved to wait for you without +stirring, but your father, that most ungracious of men, drove me into +the street in spite of myself, and I well nigh got a good drubbing +into the bargain. + +CLE. How is our affair progressing? Things are worse than ever for us, +and since I left you, I have discovered that my own father is my +rival. + +LA FL. Your father in love? + +CLE. It seems so; and I found it very difficult to hide from him what +I felt at such a discovery. + +LA FL. He meddling with love! What the deuce is he thinking of? Does +he mean to set everybody at defiance? And is love made for people of +his build? + +CLE. It is to punish me for my sins that this passion has entered his +head. + +LA FL. But why do you hide your love from him? + +CLE. That he may not suspect anything, and to make it more easy for me +to fall back, if need be, upon some device to prevent this marriage. +What answer did you receive? + +LA FL. Indeed, Sir, those who borrow are much to be pitied, and we +must put up with strange things when, like you, we are forced to pass +through the hands of the usurers. + +CLE. Then the affair won't come off? + +LA FL. Excuse me; Mr. Simon, the broker who was recommended to us, is +a very active and zealous fellow, and says he has left no stone +unturned to help you. He assures me that your looks alone have won his +heart. + +CLE. Shall I have the fifteen thousand francs which I want? + +LA FL. Yes, but under certain trifling conditions, which you must +accept if you wish the bargain to be concluded. + +CLE. Did you speak to the man who is to lend the money? + +LA FL. Oh! dear no. Things are not done in that way. He is still more +anxious than you to remain unknown. These things are greater mysteries +than you think. His name is not by any means to be divulged, and he is +to be introduced to you to-day at a house provided by him, so that he +may hear from yourself all about your position and your family; and I +have not the least doubt that the mere name of your father will be +sufficient to accomplish what you wish. + +CLE. Particularly as my mother is dead, and they cannot deprive me of +what I inherit from her. + +LA FL. Well, here are some of the conditions which he has himself +dictated to our go-between for you to take cognisance of, before +anything is begun. + +"Supposing that the lender is satisfied with all his securities, and +that the borrower is of age and of a family whose property is ample, +solid, secure, and free from all incumbrances, there shall be drawn up +a good and correct bond before as honest a notary as it is possible to +find, and who for this purpose shall be chosen by the lender, because +he is the more concerned of the two that the bond should be rightly +executed." + +CLE. There is nothing to say against that. + +LA FL. "The lender, not to burden his conscience with the least +scruple, does not wish to lend his money at more than five and a half +per cent." + +CLE. Five and a half per cent? By Jove, that's honest! We have nothing +to complain of. + +LA FL. That's true. + +"But as the said lender has not in hand the sum required, and as, in +order to oblige the borrower, he is himself obliged to borrow from +another at the rate of twenty per cent., it is but right that the said +first borrower shall pay this interest, without detriment to the rest; +since it is only to oblige him that the said lender is himself forced +to borrow." + +CLE. The deuce! What a Jew! what a Turk we have here! That is more +than twenty-five per cent. + +LA FL. That's true; and it is the remark I made. It is for you to +consider the matter before you act. + +CLE. How can I consider? I want the money, and I must therefore accept +everything. + +LA FL. That is exactly what I answered. + +CLE. Is there anything else? + +LA FL. Only a small item. + +"Of the fifteen thousand francs which are demanded, the lender will +only be able to count down twelve thousand in hard cash; instead of +the remaining three thousand, the borrower will have to take the +chattels, clothing, and jewels, contained in the following catalogue, +and which the said lender has put in all good faith at the lowest +possible figure." + +CLE. What is the meaning of all that? + +LA FL. I'll go through the catalogue:-- + +"Firstly:--A fourpost bedstead, with hangings of Hungary lace very +elegantly trimmed with olive-coloured cloth, and six chairs and a +counterpane to match; the whole in very good condition, and lined with +soft red and blue shot-silk. Item:--the tester of good pale pink +Aumale serge, with the small and the large fringes of silk." + +CLE. What does he want me to do with all this? + +LA FL. Wait. + +"Item:--Tapestry hangings representing the loves of Gombaud and +Macee.[1] Item:--A large walnut table with twelve columns or turned +legs, which draws out at both ends, and is provided beneath with six +stools." + +CLE. Hang it all! What am I to do with all this? + +LA FL. Have patience. + +"Item:--Three large matchlocks inlaid with mother-of-pearl, with rests +to correspond. Item:--A brick furnace with two retorts and three +receivers, very useful to those who have any taste for distilling." + +CLE. You will drive me crazy. + +LA FL. Gently! + +"Item:--A Bologna lute with all its strings, or nearly all. Item:--A +pigeon-hole table and a draught-board, and a game of mother goose, +restored from the Greeks, most useful to pass the time when one has +nothing to do. Item:--A lizard's skin, three feet and a half in +length, stuffed with hay, a pleasing curiosity to hang on the ceiling +of a room. The whole of the above-mentioned articles are really worth +more than four thousand five hundred francs, and are reduced to the +value of a thousand crowns through the considerateness of the lender." + +CLE. Let the plague choke him with his considerateness, the wretch, +the cut-throat that he is! Did ever anyone hear of such usury? Is he +not satisfied with the outrageous interest he asks that he must force +me to take, instead of the three thousand francs, all the old rubbish +which he picks up. I shan't get two hundred crowns for all that, and +yet I must bring myself to yield to all his wishes; for he is in a +position to force me to accept everything, and he has me, the villain, +with a knife at my throat. + +LA FL. I see you, Sir, if you'll forgive my saying so, on the +high-road followed by Panurge[2] to ruin himself--taking money in +advance, buying dear, selling cheap, and cutting your corn while it is +still grass. + +CLE. What would you have me do? It is to this that young men are +reduced by the accursed avarice of their fathers; and people are +astonished after that, that sons long for their death. + +LA FL. No one can deny that yours would excite against his meanness +the most quiet of men. I have not, thank God, any inclination +gallows-ward, and among my colleagues whom I see dabbling in various +doubtful affairs, I know well enough how to keep myself out of hot +water, and how to keep clear of all those things which savour ever so +little of the ladder; but to tell you the truth, he almost gives me, +by his ways of going on, the desire of robbing him, and I should think +that in doing so I was doing a meritorious action. + +CLE. Give me that memorandum that I may have another look at it. + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, MR. SIMON (CLEANTE _and_ LA FLECHE _at the back +of the stage_). + +SIM. Yes, Sir; it is a young man who is greatly in want of money; his +affairs force him to find some at any cost, and he will submit to all +your conditions. + +HAR. But are you sure, Mr. Simon, that there is no risk to run in this +case? and do you know the name, the property, and the family of him +for whom you speak? + +SIM. No; I cannot tell you anything for certain, as it was by mere +chance that I was made acquainted with him; but he will tell you +everything himself, and his servant has assured me that you will be +quite satisfied when you know who he is. All I can tell you is that +his family is said to be very wealthy, that he has already lost his +mother, and that he will pledge you his word, if you insist upon it, +that his father will die before eight months are passed. + +HAR. That is something. Charity, Mr. Simon, demands of us to gratify +people whenever we have it in our power. + +SIM. Evidently. + +LA FL. (_aside to_ CLEANTE, _on recognising_ MR. SIMON). What does +this mean? Mr. Simon talking with your father! + +CLE. (_aside to_ LA FLECHE). Has he been told who I am, and would you +be capable of betraying me? + +SIM. (_to_ CLEANTE _and_ LA FLECHE). Ah! you are in good time! But who +told you to come here? (_To_ HARPAGON) It was certainly not I who told +them your name and address; but I am of opinion that there is no great +harm done; they are people who can be trusted, and you can come to +some understanding together. + +HAR. What! + +SIM. (_showing_ CLEANTE). This is the gentleman who wants to borrow +the fifteen thousand francs of which I have spoken to you. + +HAR. What! miscreant! is it you who abandon yourself to such excesses? + +CLE. What! father! is it you who stoop to such shameful deeds? + +(MR. SIMON _runs away, and_ LA FLECHE _hides himself_.) + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE. + +HAR. It is you who are ruining yourself by loans so greatly to be +condemned! + +CLE. So it is you who seek to enrich yourself by such criminal usury! + +HAR. And you dare, after that, to show yourself before me? + +CLE. And you dare, after that, to show yourself to the world? + +HAR. Are you not ashamed, tell me, to descend to these wild excesses, +to rush headlong into frightful expenses, and disgracefully to +dissipate the wealth which your parents have amassed with so much +toil. + +CLE. Are you not ashamed of dishonouring your station by such +dealings, of sacrificing honour and reputation to the insatiable +desire of heaping crown upon crown, and of outdoing the most infamous +devices that have ever been invented by the most notorious usurers? + +HAR. Get out of my sight, you reprobate; get out of my sight! + +CLE. Who is the more criminal in your opinion: he who buys the money +of which he stands in need, or he who obtains, by unfair means, money +for which he has no use? + +HAR. Begone, I say, and do not provoke me to anger. (_Alone_) After +all, I am not very much vexed at this adventure; it will be a lesson +to me to keep a better watch over all his doings. + + +SCENE IV.--FROSINE, HARPAGON. + +FRO. Sir. + +HAR. Wait a moment, I will come back and speak to you. (_Aside_) I had +better go and see a little after my money. + + + + +SCENE V.--LA FLECHE, FROSINE. + + +LA FL. (_without seeing_ FROSINE). The adventure is most comical. +Hidden somewhere he must have a large store of goods of all kinds, for +the list did not contain one single article which either of us +recognised. + +FRO. Hallo! is it you, my poor La Fleche? How is it we meet here? + +LA FL. Ah! ah! it is you, Frosine; and what have you come to do here? + +FRO. What have I come to do? Why! what I do everywhere else, busy +myself about other people's affairs, make myself useful to the +community in general, and profit as much as I possibly can by the +small talent I possess. Must we not live by our wits in this world? +and what other resources have people like me but intrigue and cunning? + +LA FL. Have you, then, any business with the master of this house? + +FRO. Yes. I am transacting for him a certain small matter for which he +is pretty sure to give me a reward. + +LA FL. He give you a reward! Ah! ah! Upon my word, you will be 'cute +if you ever get one, and I warn you that ready money is very scarce +hereabouts. + +FRO. That may be, but there are certain services which wonderfully +touch our feelings. + +LA FL. Your humble servant; but as yet you don't know Harpagon. +Harpagon is the human being of all human beings the least humane, the +mortal of all mortals the hardest and closest. There is no service +great enough to induce him to open his purse. If, indeed, you want +praise, esteem, kindness, and friendship, you are welcome to any +amount; but money, that's a different affair. There is nothing more +dry, more barren, than his favour and his good grace, and "_give_" is +a word for which he has such a strong dislike that he never says _I +give_, but _I lend, you a good morning_. + +FRO. That's all very well; but I know the art of fleecing men. I have +a secret of touching their affections by flattering their hearts, and +of finding out their weak points. + +LA FL. All useless here. I defy you to soften, as far as money is +concerned, the man we are speaking of. He is a Turk on that point, of +a Turkishness to drive anyone to despair, and we might starve in his +presence and never a peg would he stir. In short, he loves money +better than reputation, honour, and virtue, and the mere sight of +anyone making demands upon his purse sends him into convulsions; it is +like striking him in a vital place, it is piercing him to the heart, +it is like tearing out his very bowels! And if ... But here he comes +again; I leave you. + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, FROSINE. + +HAR. (_aside_). All is as it should be. (_To_ FROSINE) Well, what is +it, Frosine? + +FRO. Bless me, how well you look! You are the very picture of health. + +HAR. Who? I? + +FRO. Never have I seen you looking more rosy, more hearty. + +HAR. Are you in earnest? + +FRO. Why! you have never been so young in your life; and I know many a +man of twenty-five who looks much older than you do. + +HAR. And yet, Frosine, I have passed threescore. + +FRO. Threescore! Well, and what then? You don't mean to make a trouble +of that, do you? It's the very flower of manhood, the threshold of the +prime of life. + +HAR. True; but twenty years less would do me no harm, I think. + +FRO. Nonsense! You've no need of that, and you are of a build to last +out a hundred. + +HAR. Do you really think so? + +FRO. Decidedly. You have all the appearance of it. Hold yourself up a +little. Ah! what a sign of long life is that line there straight +between your two eyes! + +HAR. You know all about that, do you? + +FRO. I should think I do. Show me your hand. [3] [Footnote: Frosine +professes a knowledge of palmistry.] Dear me, what a line of life +there is there! + +HAR. Where? + +FRO. Don't you see how far this line goes? + +HAR. Well, and what does it mean? + +FRO. What does it mean? There ... I said a hundred years; but no, it +is one hundred and twenty I ought to have said. + +HAR. Is it possible? + +FRO. I tell you they will have to kill you, and you will bury your +children and your children's children. + +HAR. So much the better! And what news of our affair? + +FRO. Is there any need to ask? Did ever anyone see me begin anything +and not succeed in it? I have, especially for matchmaking, the most +wonderful talent. There are no two persons in the world I could not +couple together; and I believe that, if I took it into my head, I +could make the Grand Turk marry the Republic of Venice.[4] But we had, +to be sure, no such difficult thing to achieve in this matter. As I +know the ladies very well, I told them every particular about you; and +I acquainted the mother with your intentions towards Marianne since +you saw her pass in the street and enjoy the fresh air out of her +window. + +HAR. What did she answer...? + +FRO. She received your proposal with great joy; and when I told her +that you wished very much that her daughter should come to-night to +assist at the marriage contract which is to be signed for your own +daughter, she assented at once, and entrusted her to me for the +purpose. + +HAR. You see, Frosine, I am obliged to give some supper to Mr. +Anselme, and I should like her to have a share in the feast. + +FRO. You are quite right. She is to come after dinner to pay a visit +to your daughter; then she means to go from here to the fair, and +return to your house just in time for supper. + +HAR. That will do very well; they shall go together in my carriage, +which I will lend them. + +FRO. That will suit her perfectly. + +HAR. But I say, Frosine, have you spoken to the mother about the dowry +she can give her daughter? Did you make her understand that under such +circumstances she ought to do her utmost and to make a great +sacrifice? For, after all, one does not marry a girl without her +bringing something with her. + +FRO. How something! She is a girl who will bring you a clear twelve +thousand francs a year? + +HAR. Twelve thousand francs a year? + +FRO. Yes! To begin with, she has been nursed and brought up with the +strictest notions of frugality. She is a girl accustomed to live upon +salad, milk, cheese, and apples, and who consequently will require +neither a well served up table, nor any rich broth, nor your +everlasting peeled barley; none, in short, of all those delicacies +that another woman would want. This is no small matter, and may well +amount to three thousand francs yearly. Besides this, she only cares +for simplicity and neatness; she will have none of those splendid +dresses and rich jewels, none of that sumptuous furniture in which +girls like her indulge so extravagantly; and this item is worth more +than four thousand francs per annum. Lastly, she has the deepest +aversion to gambling; and this is not very common nowadays among +women. Why, I know of one in our neighbourhood who lost at least +twenty thousand francs this year. But let us reckon only a fourth of +that sum. Five thousand francs a year at play and four thousand in +clothes and jewels make nine thousand; and three thousand francs which +we count for food, does it not make your twelve thousand francs? + +HAR. Yes, that's not bad; but, after all, that calculation has nothing +real in it. + +FRO. Excuse me; is it nothing real to bring you in marriage a great +sobriety, to inherit a great love for simplicity in dress, and the +acquired property of a great hatred for gambling? + +HAR. It is a farce to pretend to make up a dowry with all the expenses +she will not run into. I could not give a receipt for what I do not +receive; and I must decidedly get something. + +FRO. Bless me! you will get enough; and they have spoken to me of a +certain country where they have some property, of which you will be +master. + +HAR. We shall have to see to that. But, Frosine, there is one more +thing that makes me uneasy. The girl is young, you know; and young +people generally like those who are young like themselves, and only +care for the society of the young. I am afraid that a man of my age +may not exactly suit her taste, and that this may occasion in my +family certain complications that would in nowise be pleasant to me. + +FRO. Oh, how badly you judge her! This is one more peculiarity of +which I had to speak to you. She has the greatest detestation to all +young men, and only likes old people. + +HAR. Does she? + +FRO. I should like you to hear her talk on that subject; she cannot +bear at all the sight of a young man, and nothing delights her more +than to see a fine old man with a venerable beard. The oldest are to +her the most charming, and I warn you beforehand not to go and make +yourself any younger than you really are. She wishes for one sixty +years old at least; and it is not more than six months ago that on the +very eve of being married she suddenly broke off the match on learning +that her lover was only fifty-six years of age, and did not put on +spectacles to sign the contract. + +HAR. Only for that? + +FRO. Yes; she says there is no pleasure with a man of fifty-six; and +she has a decided affection for those who wear spectacles. + +HAR. Well, this is quite new to me. + +FRO. No one can imagine how far she carries this. She has in her room +a few pictures and engravings, and what do you imagine they are? An +Adonis, a Cephalus, a Paris, an Apollo? Not a bit of it! Fine +portraits of Saturn, of King Priam, of old Nestor, and of good father +Anchises on his son's shoulders. + +HAR. That's admirable. I should never have guessed such a thing; and I +am very pleased to hear that she has such taste as this. Indeed had I +been a woman, I should never have loved young fellows. + +FRO. I should think not. Fine trumpery indeed, these young men, for +any one to fall in love with. Fine jackanapes and puppies for a woman +to hanker after. I should like to know what relish anyone can find in +them? + +HAR. Truly; I don't understand it myself, and I cannot make out how it +is that some women dote so on them. + +FRO. They must be downright idiots. Can any one be in his senses who +thinks youth amiable? Can those curly-pated coxcombs be men, and can +one really get attached to such animals? + +HAR. Exactly what I say every day! With their effeminate voices, their +three little bits of a beard turned up like cat's whiskers, their tow +wigs, their flowing breeches and open breasts! + +FRO. Yes; they are famous guys compared with yourself. In you we see +something like a man. There is enough to satisfy the eye. It is thus +that one should be made and dressed to inspire love. + +HAR. Then you think I am pretty well? + +FRO. Pretty well! I should think so; you are charming, and your face +would make a beautiful picture. Turn round a little, if you please. +You could not find anything better anywhere. Let me see you walk. You +have a well-shaped body, free and easy, as it should be, and one which +gives no sign of infirmity. + +HAR. I have nothing the matter to speak of, I am thankful to say. It +is only my cough, which returns from time to time.[5] + +FRO. That is nothing, and coughing becomes you exceedingly well. + +HAR. Tell me, Frosine, has Marianne seen me yet? Has she not noticed +me when I passed by? + +FRO. No; but we have had many conversations about you. I gave her an +exact description of your person, and I did not fail to make the most +of your merit, and to show her what an advantage it would be to have a +husband like you. + +HAR. You did right, and I thank you very much for it. + +FRO. I have, Sir, a small request to make to you. I am in danger of +losing a lawsuit for want of a little money (HARPAGON _looks grave_), +and you can easily help me with it, if you have pity upon me. You +cannot imagine how happy she will be to see you. (HARPAGON _looks +joyful_.) Oh! how sure you are to please her, and how sure that +antique ruff of yours is to produce a wonderful effect on her mind. +But, above all, she will be delighted with your breeches fastened to +your doublet with tags; that will make her mad after you, and a lover +who wears tags will be most welcome to her. + +HAR. You send me into raptures, Frosine, by saying that. + +FRO. I tell you the truth, Sir; this lawsuit is of the utmost +importance for me. (HARPAGON _looks serious again_.) If I lose it, I +am for ever ruined; but a very small sum will save me. I should like +you to have seen the happiness she felt when I spoke of you to her. +(HARPAGON _looks pleased again_.) Joy sparkled in her eyes while I +told her of all your good qualities; and I succeeded, in short, in +making her look forward with the greatest impatience to the conclusion +of the match. + +HAR. You have given me great pleasure, Frosine, and I assure you I ... + +FRO. I beg of you, Sir, to grant me the little assistance I ask of +you. (HARPAGON _again looks grave_.) It will put me on my feet again, +and I shall feel grateful to you for ever. + +HAR. Good-bye; I must go and finish my correspondence. + +FRO. I assure you, Sir, that you could not help me in a more pressing +necessity. + +HAR. I will see that my carriage is ready to take you to the fair. + +FRO. I would not importune you so if I were not compelled by +necessity. + +HAR. And I will see that we have supper early, so that nobody may be +ill. + +FRO. Do not refuse me the service; I beg of you. You can hardly +believe, Sir, the pleasure that ... + +HAR. I must go; somebody is calling me. We shall see each other again +by and by. + +FRO. (_alone_). May the fever seize you, you stingy cur, and send you +to the devil and his angels! The miser has held out against all my +attacks; but I must not drop the negotiation; for I have the other +side, and there, at all events, I am sure of a good reward. + + + + +ACT III. + +SCENE I.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, ELISE, VALERE, DAME CLAUDE (_holding a +broom_), MASTER JACQUES, LA MERLUCHE, BRINDAVOINE. + + +HAR. Here, come here, all of you; I must give you orders for by and +by, and arrange what each one will have to do. Come nearer, Dame +Claude; let us begin with you. (_Looking at her broom._) Good; you are +ready armed, I see. To you I commit the care of cleaning up +everywhere; but, above all, be very careful not to rub the furniture +too hard, for fear of wearing it out. Besides this, I put the bottles +under your care during supper, and if any one of them is missing, or +if anything gets broken, you will be responsible for it, and pay it +out of your wages. + +JAC. (_aside_). A shrewd punishment that. + +HAR. (_to_ DAME CLAUDE.) Now you may go. + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, ELISE, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES, +BRINDAVOINE, LA MERLUCHE. + +HAR. To you, Brindavoine, and to you, La Merluche, belongs the duty of +washing the glasses, and of giving to drink, but only when people are +thirsty, and not according to the custom of certain impertinent +lackeys, who urge them to drink, and put the idea into their heads +when they are not thinking about it. Wait until you have been asked +several times, and remember always to have plenty of water. + +JAC. (_aside_). Yes; wine without water gets into one's head. + +LA MER. Shall we take off our smocks, Sir? + +HAR. Yes, when you see the guests coming; but be very careful not to +spoil your clothes. + +BRIND. You know, Sir, that one of the fronts of my doublet is covered +with a large stain of oil from the lamp. + +LA MER. And I, Sir, that my breeches are all torn behind, and that, +saving your presence ... + +HAR. (_to_ LA MERLUCHE). Peace! Turn carefully towards the wall, and +always face the company. (_To_ BRINDAVOINE, _showing him how he is to +hold his hat before his doublet, to hide the stain of oil_) And you, +always hold your hat in this fashion when you wait on the guests. + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, ELISE, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES. + +HAR. As for you, my daughter, you will look after all that is cleared +off the table, and see that nothing is wasted: this care is very +becoming to young girls. Meanwhile get ready to welcome my lady-love, +who is coming this afternoon to pay you a visit, and will take you off +to the fair with her. Do you understand what I say? + +ELI. Yes, father. + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES. + +HAR. And you, my young dandy of a son to whom I have the kindness of +forgiving what happened this morning, mind you don't receive her +coldly, or show her a sour face. + +CLE. Receive her coldly! And why should I? + +HAR. Why? why? We know pretty well the ways of children whose fathers +marry again, and the looks they give to those we call stepmothers. But +if you wish me to forget your last offence, I advise you, above all +things, to receive her kindly, and, in short, to give her the +heartiest welcome you can. + +CLE. To speak the truth, father, I cannot promise you that I am very +happy to see her become my stepmother; but as to receiving her +properly, and as to giving her a kind welcome, I promise to obey you +in that to the very letter. + +HAR. Be careful you do, at least. + +CLE. You will see that you have no cause to complain. + +HAR. You will do wisely. + + +SCENE V.--HARPAGON, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES. + +HAR. Valere, you will have to give me your help in this business. Now, +Master Jacques, I kept you for the last. + +JAC. Is it to your coachman, Sir, or to your cook you want to speak, +for I am both the one and the other? + +HAR. To both. + +JAC. But to which of the two first? + +HAR. To the cook. + +JAC. Then wait a minute, if you please. + +(JACQUES _takes off his stable-coat and appears dressed as a cook._) + +HAR. What the deuce is the meaning of this ceremony? + +JAC. Now I am at your service. + +HAR. I have engaged myself, Master Jacques, to give a supper to-night. + +JAC. (_aside_). Wonderful! + +HAR. Tell me, can you give us a good supper? + +JAC. Yes, if you give me plenty of money. + +HAR. The deuce! Always money! I think they have nothing else to say +except money, money, money! Always that same word in their mouth, +money! They always speak of money! It's their pillow companion, money! + +VAL. Never did I hear such an impertinent answer! Would you call it +wonderful to provide good cheer with plenty of money? Is it not the +easiest thing in the world? The most stupid could do as much. But a +clever man should talk of a good supper with little money. + +JAC. A good supper with little money? + +VAL. Yes. + +JAC. (_to_ VALERE). Indeed, Mr. Steward, you will oblige me greatly by +telling me your secret, and also, if you like, by filling my place as +cook; for you keep on meddling here, and want to be everything. + +HAR. Hold your tongue. What shall we want? + +JAC. Ask that of Mr. Steward, who will give you good cheer with little +money. + +HAR. Do you hear? I am speaking to you, and expect you to answer me. + +JAC. How many will there be at your table? + +HAR. Eight or ten; but you must only reckon for eight. When there is +enough for eight, there is enough for ten. + +VAL. That is evident. + +JAC. Very well, then; you must have four tureens of soup and five side +dishes; soups, entrees ... + +HAR. What! do you mean to feed a whole town? + +JAC. Roast ... + +HAR. (_clapping his hand on_ MASTER JACQUES' _mouth_). Ah! Wretch! you +are eating up all my substance. + +JAC. Entremets ... + +HAR. (_again putting his hand on_ JACQUES' _mouth_). More still? + +VAL. (_to_ JACQUES). Do you mean to kill everybody? And has your +master invited people in order to destroy them with over-feeding? Go +and read a little the precepts of health, and ask the doctors if there +is anything so hurtful to man as excess in eating. + +HAR. He is perfectly right. + +VAL. Know, Master Jacques, you and people like you, that a table +overloaded with eatables is a real cut-throat; that, to be the true +friends of those we invite, frugality should reign throughout the +repast we give, and that according to the saying of one of the +ancients, "We must eat to live, and not live to eat." + +HAR. Ah! How well the man speaks! Come near, let me embrace you for +this last saying. It is the finest sentence that I have ever heard in +my life: "We must live to eat, and not eat to live." No; that isn't +it. How do you say it? + +VAL. That we must eat to live, and not live to eat. + +HAR. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES). Yes. Do you hear that? (_To_ VALERE) Who +is the great man who said that? + +VAL. I do not exactly recollect his name just now. + +HAR. Remember to write down those words for me. I will have them +engraved in letters of gold over the mantel-piece of my dining-room. + +VAL. I will not fail. As for your supper, you had better let me manage +it. I will see that it is all as it should be. + +HAR. Do so. + +JAC. So much the better; all the less work for me. + +HAR. (_to_ VALERE). We must have some of those things of which it is +not possible to eat much, and that satisfy directly. Some good fat +beans, and a pate well stuffed with chestnuts. + +VAL. Trust to me. + +HAR. Now, Master Jacques, you must clean my carriage. + +JAC. Wait a moment; this is to the coachman. (JACQUES _puts on his +coat._) You say ... + +HAR. That you must clean my carriage, and have my horses ready to +drive to the fair. + +JAC. Your horses! Upon my word, Sir, they are not at all in a +condition to stir. I won't tell you that they are laid up, for the +poor things have got nothing to lie upon, and it would not be telling +the truth. But you make them keep such rigid fasts that they are +nothing but phantoms, ideas, and mere shadows of horses. + +HAR. They are much to be pitied. They have nothing to do. + +JAC. And because they have nothing to do, must they have nothing to +eat? It would be much better for them, poor things, to work much and +eat to correspond. It breaks my heart to see them so reduced; for, in +short, I love my horses; and when I see them suffer, it seems as if it +were myself. Every day I take the bread out of my own mouth to feed +them; and it is being too hard-hearted, Sir, to have no compassion +upon one's neighbour. + +HAR. It won't be very hard work to go to the fair. + +JAC. No, Sir. I haven't the heart to drive them; it would go too much +against my conscience to use the whip to them in the state they are +in. How could you expect them to drag a carriage? They have not even +strength enough to drag themselves along. + +VAL. Sir, I will ask our neighbour, Picard, to drive them; +particularly as we shall want his help to get the supper ready. + +JAC. Be it so. I had much rather they should die under another's hand +than under mine. + +VAL. Master Jacques is mightily considerate. + +JAC. Mr. Steward is mightily indispensable. + +HAR. Peace. + +JAC. Sir, I can't bear these flatteries, and I can see that, whatever +this man does, his continual watching after the bread, wine, wood, +salt, and candles, is done but to curry favour and to make his court +to you. I am indignant to see it all; and I am sorry to hear every day +what is said of you; for, after all, I have a certain tenderness for +you; and, except my horses, you are the person I like most in the +world. + +HAR. And I would know from you, Master Jacques, what it is that is +said of me. + +JAC. Yes, certainly, Sir, if I were sure you would not get angry with +me. + +HAR. No, no; never fear. + +JAC. Excuse me, but I am sure you will be angry. + +HAR. No, on the contrary, you will oblige me. I should be glad to know +what people say of me. + +JAC. Since you wish it, Sir, I will tell you frankly that you are the +laughing-stock of everybody; that they taunt us everywhere by a +thousand jokes on your account, and that nothing delights people more +than to make sport of you, and to tell stories without end about your +stinginess. One says that you have special almanacks printed, where +you double the ember days and vigils, so that you may profit by the +fasts to which you bind all your house; another, that you always have +a ready-made quarrel for your servants at Christmas time or when they +leave you, so that you may give them nothing. One tells a story how +not long since you prosecuted a neighbour's cat because it had eaten +up the remainder of a leg of mutton; another says that one night you +were caught stealing your horses' oats, and that your coachman,--that +is the man who was before me,--gave you, in the dark, a good sound +drubbing, of which you said nothing. In short, what is the use of +going on? We can go nowhere but we are sure to hear you pulled to +pieces. You are the butt and jest and byword of everybody; and never +does anyone mention you but under the names of miser, stingy, mean, +niggardly fellow and usurer. + +HAR. (_beating_ JACQUES). You are a fool, a rascal, a scoundrel, and +an impertinent wretch. + +JAC. There, there! Did not I know how it would be? You would not +believe me. I told you I should make you angry if I spoke the truth? + +HAR. Learn how to speak. + + +SCENE VI.--VALERE, MASTER JACQUES. + +VAL. (_laughing_). Well, Master Jacques, your frankness is badly +rewarded, I fear. + +JAC. S'death! Mr. Upstart, you who assume the man of consequence, it +is no business of yours as far as I can see. Laugh at your own +cudgelling when you get it, and don't come here and laugh at mine. + +VAL. Ah! Master Jacques, don't get into a passion, I beg of you. + +JAC. (_aside_). He is drawing in his horns. I will put on a bold face, +and if he is fool enough to be afraid of me, I will pay him back +somewhat. (_To_ VALERE) Do you know, Mr. Grinner, that I am not +exactly in a laughing humour, and that if you provoke me too much, I +shall make you laugh after another fashion. (JACQUES _pushes_ VALERE +_to the farther end of the stage, threatening him_.) + +VAL. Gently, gently. + +JAC. How gently? And if it does not please me to go gently? + +VAL. Come, come! What are you about? + +JAC. You are an impudent rascal. + +VAL. Master Jacques.... + +JAC. None of your Master Jacques here! If I take up a stick, I shall +soon make you feel it. + +VAL. What do you mean by a stick? (_Drives back_ JACQUES _in his +turn_.) + +JAC. No; I don't say anything about that. + +VAL. Do you know, Mr. Conceit, that I am a man to give you a drubbing +in good earnest? + +JAC. I have no doubt of it. + +VAL. That, after all, you are nothing but a scrub of a cook? + +JAC. I know it very well. + +VAL. And that you don't know me yet? + +JAC. I beg your pardon. + +VAL. You will beat me, you say? + +JAC. I only spoke in jest. + +VAL. I don't like your jesting, and (_beating_ JACQUES) remember that +you are but a sorry hand at it. + +JAC. (_alone_). Plague take all sincerity; it is a bad trade. I give +it up for the future, and will cease to tell the truth. It is all very +well for my master to beat me; but as for that Mr. Steward, what right +has he to do it? I will be revenged on him if I can. + + +SCENE VII.--MARIANNE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES. + +FRO. Do you know if your master is at home? + +JAC. Yes, he is indeed; I know it but too well. + +FRO. Tell him, please, that we are here. + + +SCENE VIII.--MARIANNE, FROSINE. + +MAR. Ah! Frosine, how strange I feel, and how I dread this interview! + +FRO. Why should you? What can you possibly dread? + +MAR. Alas! can you ask me? Can you not understand the alarms of a +person about to see the instrument of torture to which she is to be +tied. + +FRO. I see very well that to die agreeably, Harpagon is not the +torture you would embrace; and I can judge by your looks that the fair +young man you spoke of to me is still in your thoughts. + +MAR. Yes, Frosine; it is a thing I do not wish to deny. The respectful +visits he has paid at our house have left, I confess, a great +impression on my heart. + +FRO. But do you know who he is? + +MAR. No, I do not. All I know is that he is made to be loved; that if +things were left to my choice, I would much rather marry him than any +other, and that he adds not a little to the horrible dread that I have +of the husband they want to force upon me. + +FRO. Oh yes! All those dandies are very pleasant, and can talk +agreeably enough, but most of them are as poor as church mice; and it +is much better for you to marry an old husband, who gives you plenty +of money. I fully acknowledge that the senses somewhat clash with the +end I propose, and that there are certain little inconveniences to be +endured with such a husband; but all that won't last; and his death, +believe me, will soon put you in a position to take a more pleasant +husband, who will make amends for all. + +MAR. Oh, Frosine! What a strange state of things that, in order to be +happy, we must look forward to the death of another. Yet death will +not fall in with all the projects we make. + +FRO. You are joking. You marry him with the express understanding that +he will soon leave you a widow; it must be one of the articles of the +marriage contract. It would be very wrong in him not to die before +three months are over. Here he is himself. + +MAR. Ah! dear Frosine, what a face! + + +SCENE IX.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, FROSINE. + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). Do not be offended, fair one, if I come to you +with my glasses on. I know that your beauty is great enough to be seen +with the naked eye; but, still, it is with glasses that we look at the +stars, and I maintain and uphold that you are a star, the most +beautiful and in the land of stars. Frosine, she does not answer, +star, it seems to me, shows no joy at the sight of me. + +FRO. It is because she is still quite awe-struck, and young girls are +always shy at first, and afraid of showing what they feel. + +HAR. (_to_ FROSINE). You are right. (_To_ MARIANNE) My pretty darling, +there is my daughter coming to welcome you. + + +SCENE X.--HARPAGON, ELISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE. + +MAR. I am very late in acquitting myself of the visit I owed you. + +ELI. You have done what I ought to have done. It was for me to have +come and seen you first. + +HAR. You see what a great girl she is; but ill weeds grow apace. + +MAR. (_aside to_ FROSINE). Oh, what an unpleasant man! + +HAR. (_to_ FROSINE). What does my fair one say? + +FRO. That she thinks you perfect. + +HAR. You do me too much honour, my adorable darling. + +MAR. (_aside_). What a dreadful creature! + +HAR. I really feel too grateful to you for these sentiments. + +MAR. (_aside_). I can bear it no longer. + + +SCENE XI.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, CLEANTE, VALERE, FROSINE, +BRINDAVOINE. + +HAR. Here is my son, who also comes to pay his respects to you. + +MAR. (_aside to_ FROSINE). Oh, Frosine! what a strange meeting! He is +the very one of whom I spoke to you. + +FRO. (_to_ MARIANNE). Well, that is extraordinary. + +HAR. You are surprised to see that my children can be so old; but I +shall soon get rid of both of them. + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). Madam, to tell you the truth, I little expected +such an event; and my father surprised me not a little when he told me +to-day of the decision he had come to. + +MAR. I can say the same thing. It is an unexpected meeting; and I +certainly was far from being prepared for such an event. + +CLE. Madam, my father cannot make a better choice, and it is a great +joy to me to have the honour of welcoming you here. At the same time, +I cannot say that I should rejoice if it were your intention to become +my stepmother. I must confess that I should find it difficult to pay +you the compliment; and it is a title, forgive me, that I cannot wish +you to have. To some this speech would seem coarse, but I feel that +you understand it. This marriage, Madam, is altogether repugnant to +me. You are not ignorant, now that you know who I am, how opposed it +is to all my own interests, and with my father's permission I hope you +will allow me to say that, if things depended on me, it would never +take place. + +HAR. (_aside_). What a very impertinent speech to make; and what a +confession to make to her! + +MAR. And as my answer, I must tell you that things are much the same +with me, and that, if you have any repugnance in seeing me your +stepmother, I shall have no less in seeing you my stepson. Do not +believe, I beg of you, that it is of my own will that this trouble has +come upon you. I should be deeply grieved to cause you the least +sorrow, and unless I am forced to it by a power I must obey, I give +you my word that, I will never consent to a marriage which is so +painful to you. + +HAR. She is right. A foolish speech deserves a foolish answer. I beg +your pardon, my love, for the impertinence of my son. He is a silly +young fellow, who has not yet learnt the value of his own words. + +MAR. I assure you that he has not at all offended me. I am thankful, +on the contrary, that he has spoken so openly. I care greatly for such +a confession from him, and if he had spoken differently, I should feel +much less esteem for him. + +HAR. It is very kind of you to excuse him thus. Time will make him +wiser, and you will see that his feelings will change. + +CLE. No, father, they will never change; and I earnestly beg of you, +Madam, to believe me. + +HAR. Did ever anybody see such folly? He is becoming worse and worse. + +CLE. Would you have me false to my inmost feelings? + +HAR. Again! Change your manners, if you please. + +CLE. Very well, since you wish me to speak differently. Allow me, +Madam, to take for a moment my father's place; and forgive me if I +tell you that I never saw in the world anybody more charming than you +are; that I can understand no happiness to equal that of pleasing you, +and that to be your husband is a glory, a felicity, I should prefer to +the destinies of the greatest princes upon earth. Yes, Madam, to +possess you is, in my mind, to possess the best of all treasures; to +obtain you is all my ambition. There is nothing I would not do for so +precious a conquest, and the most powerful obstacles ... + +HAR. Gently, gently, my son, if you please. + +CLE. These are complimentary words which I speak to her in your name. + +HAR. Bless me! I have a tongue of my own to explain my feelings, and I +really don't care for such an advocate as you... Here, bring us some +chairs. + +FRO. No; I think it is better for us to go at once to the fair, in +order to be back earlier, and have plenty of time for talking. + +HAR. (_to_ BRINDAVOINE). Have the carriage ready at once. + + +SCENE XII.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, CLEANTE, VALERE, FROSINE. + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). I hope you will excuse me, my dear, but I forgot +to order some refreshments for you, before you went out. + +CLE. I have thought of it, father, and have ordered to be brought in +here some baskets of China oranges, sweet citrons, and preserves, +which I sent for in your name. + +HAR. (_aside, to_ VALERE). Valere! + +VAL. (_aside, to_ HARPAGON). He has lost his senses! + +CLE. You are afraid, father, that it will not be enough? I hope, +Madam, that you will have the kindness to excuse it. + +MAR. It was by no means necessary. + +CLE. Did you ever see, Madam, a more brilliant diamond than the one my +father has upon his finger? + +MAR. It certainly sparkles very much. + +CLE. (_taking the diamond off his father's finger_). You must see it +near. + +MAR. It is a beautiful one; it possesses great lustre. + +CLE. (_steps before_ MARIANNE, _who wants to restore it_). No, Madam, +it is in hands too beautiful; it is a present my father gives you. + +HAR. I? + +CLE. Is it not true, father, that you wish her to keep it for your +sake? + +HAR. (_aside, to his son_). What? + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). A strange question indeed! He is making me signs +that I am to force you to accept it. + +MAR. I would not.... + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). I beg of you.... He would not take it back. + +HAR. (_aside_). I am bursting with rage! + +MAR. It would be ... + +CLE. (_still hindering_ MARIANNE _from returning it_). No; I tell you, +you will offend him. + +MAR. Pray ... + +CLE. By no means. + +HAR. (_aside_). Plague take ... + +CLE. He is perfectly shocked at your refusal. + +HAR. (_aside, to his son_). Ah! traitor! + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). You see he is in despair. + +HAR. (_aside, to his son, threatening him_). You villain! + +CLE. Really, father, it is not my fault. I do all I can to persuade +her to accept it; but she is obstinate. + +HAR. (_in a rage, aside to his son_). Rascal! + +CLE. You are the cause, Madam, of my father scolding me. + +HAR. (_aside, with the same looks_). Scoundrel! + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). You will make him ill; for goodness' sake, +hesitate no longer. + +FRO. (_to_ MARIANNE). Why so much ceremony? Keep the ring, since the +gentleman wishes you to. + +MAR. (_to_ HARPAGON). I will keep it now, Sir, in order not to make +you angry, and I shall take another opportunity of returning it to +you. + + +SCENE XIII.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, VALERE, FROSINE, BRINDAVOINE. + +BRIND. Sir, there is a gentleman here who wants to speak to you. + +HAR. Tell him that I am engaged, and that I cannot see him to-day. + +BRIND. He says he has some money for you. + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). Pray, excuse me; I will come back directly. + + +SCENE XIV.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, CLEANTE, FROSINE, LA MERLUCHE. + +LA MER. (_comes in running, and throws_ HARPAGON _down_). Sir.... + +HAR. Oh! he has killed me. + +CLE. What's the matter, father? Have you hurt yourself? + +HAR. The wretch must have been bribed by some of my debtors to break +my neck. + +VAL. (_to_ HARPAGON). There is nothing serious. + +LA MER. (_to_ HARPAGON). I beg your pardon, Sir; I thought I had +better run fast to tell you.... + +HAR. What? + +LA MER. That your two horses have lost their shoes. + +HAR. Take them quickly to the smith. + +CLE. In the meantime, father, I will do the honours of the house for +you, and take this lady into the garden, where lunch will be brought. + + +SCENE XV.--HARPAGON, VALERE. + +HAR. Valere, look after all this; and take care, I beseech you, to +save as much of it as you can, so that we may send it back to the +tradesman again. + +VAL. I will. + +HAR. (_alone_). Miscreant! do you mean to ruin me? + + + + +ACT IV. + +SCENE I.--CLEANTE, MARIANNE, ELISE, FROSINE. + + +CLE. Let us come in here; we shall be much better. There is no one +about us that we need be afraid of, and we can speak openly. + +ELI. Yes, Madam, my brother has told me of the love he has for you. I +know what sorrow and anxiety such trials as these may cause, and I +assure you that I have the greatest sympathy for you. + +MAR. I feel it a great comfort in my trouble to have the sympathy of a +person like you, and I entreat you, Madam, ever to retain for me a +friendship so capable of softening the cruelty of my fate. + +FRO. You really are both very unfortunate not to have told me of all +this before. I might certainly have warded off the blow, and not have +carried things so far. + +CLE. What could I do? It is my evil destiny which has willed it so. +But you, fair Marianne, what have you resolved to do? What resolution +have you taken? + +MAR. Alas! Is it in my power to take any resolution? And, dependent as +I am, can I do anything else except form wishes? + +CLE. No other support for me in your heart? Nothing but mere wishes? +No pitying energy? No kindly relief? No active affection? + +MAR. What am I to say to you? Put yourself in my place, and judge what +I can possibly do. Advise me, dispose of me, I trust myself entirely +to you, for I am sure that you will never ask of me anything but what +is modest and seemly. + +CLE. Alas! to what do you reduce me when you wish me to be guided +entirely by feelings of strict duty and of scrupulous propriety. + +MAR. But what would you have me do? Even if I were, for you, to divest +myself of the many scruples which our sex imposes on us, I have too +much regard for my mother, who has brought me up with great +tenderness, for me to give her any cause of sorrow. Do all you can +with her. Strive to win her. I give you leave to say and do all you +wish; and if anything depends upon her knowing the true state of my +feelings, by all means tell her what they are; indeed I will do it +myself if necessary. + +CLE. Frosine, dear Frosine, will you not help us? + +FRO. Indeed, I should like to do so, as you know. I am not naturally +unkind. Heaven has not given me a heart of flint, and I feel but too +ready to help when I see young people loving each other in all +earnestness and honesty. What can we do in this case? + +CLE. Try and think a little. + +MAR. Advise us. + +ELI. Invent something to undo what you have done. + +FRO. Rather a difficult piece of business. (_To_ MARIANNE) As far as +your mother is concerned, she is not altogether unreasonable and we +might succeed in making her give to the son the gift she reserved for +the father. (_To_ CLEANTE) But the most disheartening part of it all +is that your father is your father. + +CLE. Yes, so it is. + +FRO. I mean that he will bear malice if he sees that he is refused, +and he will be in no way disposed afterwards to give his consent to +your marriage. It would be well if the refusal could be made to come +from him, and you ought to try by some means or other to make him +dislike you, Marianne. + +CLE. You are quite right. + +FRO. Yes, right enough, no doubt. That is what ought to be done; but +how in the world are we to set about it? Wait a moment. Suppose we had +a somewhat elderly woman with a little of the ability which I possess, +and able sufficiently well to represent a lady of rank, by means of a +retinue made up in haste, and of some whimsical title of a marchioness +or viscountess, whom we would suppose to come from Lower Brittany. I +should have enough power over your father to persuade him that she is +a rich woman, in possession, besides her houses, of a hundred thousand +crowns in ready money; that she is deeply in love with him, and that +she would marry him at any cost, were she even to give him all her +money by the marriage contract. I have no doubt he would listen to the +proposal. For certainly he loves you very much, my dear, but he loves +money still better. When once he has consented to your marriage, it +does not signify much how he finds out the true state of affairs about +our marchioness. + +CLE. All that is very well made up. + +FRO. Leave it to me; I just remember one of my friends who will do +beautifully. + +CLE. Depend on my gratitude, Frosine, if you succeed. But, dear +Marianne, let us begin, I beg of you, by gaining over your mother; it +would be a great deal accomplished if this marriage were once broken +off. Make use, I beseech you, of all the power that her tenderness for +you gives you over her. Display without hesitation those eloquent +graces, those all-powerful charms, with which Heaven has endowed your +eyes and lips; forget not, I beseech you, those sweet persuasions, +those tender entreaties, those loving caresses to which, I feel, +nothing could be refused. + +MAR. I will do all I can, and will forget nothing. + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, FROSINE. + +HAR. (_aside, and without being seen_). Ah! ah! my son is kissing the +hand of his intended stepmother, and his intended stepmother does not +seem much averse to it! Can there be any mystery in all this? + +ELI. Here comes my father. + +HAR. The carriage is quite ready, and you can start when you like. + +CLE. Since you are not going, father, allow me to take care of them. + +HAR. No, stop here; they can easily take care of themselves, and I +want you. + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE. + +HAR. Well, now, all consideration of stepmother aside, tell me what do +you think of this lady? + +CLE. What I think of her? + +HAR. Yes, what do you think of her appearance, her figure, her beauty +and intelligence? + +CLE. So, so. + +HAR. But still? + +CLE. To tell you the truth, I did not find her such as I expected. Her +manner is that of a thorough coquette, her figure is rather awkward, +her beauty very middling, and her intelligence of the meanest order. +Do not suppose that I say this to make you dislike her; for if I must +have a stepmother, I like the idea of this one as well as of any +other. + +HAR. You spoke to her just now, nevertheless.... + +CLE. I paid her several compliments in your name, but it was to please +you. + +HAR. So then you don't care for her? + +CLE. Who? I? Not in the least. + +HAR. I am sorry for it, for that puts an end to a scheme which had +occurred to me. Since I have seen her here, I have been thinking of my +own age; and I feel that people would find fault with me for marrying +so young a girl. This consideration had made me determine to abandon +the project, and as I had demanded her in marriage, and had given her +my promise, I would have given her to you if it were not for the +dislike you have for her. + +CLE. To me? + +HAR. To you. + +CLE. In marriage? + +HAR. In marriage. + +CLE. It is true she is not at all to my taste; but, to please you, +father, I will bring myself to marry her, if you please. + +HAR. If I please! I am more reasonable than you think. I don't wish to +compel you. + +CLE. Excuse me! I will make an attempt to love her. + +HAR. No, no; a marriage cannot be happy where there is no love. + +CLE. That, my father, will, perhaps, come by and by, and it is said +that love is often the fruit of marriage. + +HAR. No, it is not right to risk it on the side of the man, and there +are some troublesome things I don't care to run the chance of. If you +had felt any inclination for her, you should have married her instead +of me, but as it is, I will return to my first intention and marry her +myself. + +CLE. Well, father, since things are so, I had better be frank with +you, and reveal our secret to you. The truth is that I have loved her +ever since I saw her one day on the promenade. I intended to ask you +today to let me marry her, and I was only deterred from it because you +spoke of marrying her, and because I feared to displease you. + +HAR. Have you ever paid her any visits? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. Many? + +CLE. Yes; considering how long we have been acquainted. + +HAR. You were well received. + +CLE. Very well, but without her knowing who I was; and that is why +Marianne was so surprised when she saw me today. + +HAR. Have you told her of your love, and of your intention of marrying +her? + +CLE. Certainly, and I also spoke a little to the mother on the +subject. + +HAR. Did she kindly receive your proposal for her daughter? + +CLE. Yes, very kindly. + +HAR. And does the daughter return your love? + +CLE. If I can believe appearances, she is certainly well disposed +towards me. + +HAR. (_aside_). Well! I am very glad to have found out this secret; it +is the very thing I wanted to know. (_To his son_) Now, look here, my +son, I tell you what. You will have, if you please, to get rid of your +love for Marianne, to cease to pay your attentions to a person I +intend for myself, and to marry very soon the wife I have chosen for +you. + +CLE. So, father, it is thus you deceive me! Very well, since things +are come to such a pass, I openly declare to you that I shall not give +up my love for Marianne. No! understand that henceforth there is +nothing from which I shall shrink in order to dispute her with you; +and if you have on your side the consent of the mother, perhaps I +shall have some other resources left to aid me. + +HAR. What, rascal! You dare to trespass on my grounds? + +CLE. It is you who trespass on mine. I was the first. + +HAR. Am I not your father, and do you not owe me respect? + +CLE. There are things in which children are not called upon to pay +deference to their fathers; and love is no respector of persons. + +HAR. My stick will make you know me better. + +CLE. All your threatenings are nothing to me. + +HAR. You will give up Marianne? + +CLE. Never! + +HAR. Bring me my stick. Quick, I say! my stick! + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, MASTER JACQUES. + +JAC. Hold! hold! Gentlemen, what does this mean? What are you thinking +of? + +CLE. I don't care a bit for it. + +JAC. (_to_ CLEANTE). Ah! Sir, gently. + +HAR. He dares to speak to me with such impudence as that! + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). Ah! Sir, I beg of you. + +CLE. I shall keep to it. + +JAC. (_to_ CLEANTE). What! to your father? + +HAR. Let me do it. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). What! to your son? To me it's different. + +HAR. I will make you judge between us, Master Jacques, so that you may +see that I have right on my side. + +JAC. Willingly. (_To_ CLEANTE) Go a little farther back. + +HAR. There is a young girl I love and want to marry, and the scoundrel +has the impudence to love her also, and wants to marry her in spite of +me. + +JAC. Oh! he is wrong. + +HAR. Is it not an abominable thing to see a son who does not shrink +from becoming the rival of his father? And is it not his bounden duty +to refrain from interfering with my love? + +JAC. You are quite right; stop here, and let me go and speak to him. + +CLE. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES, _who comes near him_). Very well; if he +wants to make you a judge between us, I have no objection. I care +little who it is, and I don't mind referring our quarrel to you. + +JAC. You do me great honour. + +CLE. I am in love with a young girl who returns my affection, and who +receives kindly the offer of my heart; but my father takes it into his +head to disturb our love by asking her in marriage. + +JAC. He certainly is wrong. + +CLE. Is it not shameful for a man of his age to think of marrying? I +ask you if it is right for him to fall in love? and ought he not now +to leave that to younger men? + +JAC. You are quite right; he is not serious; let me speak a word or +two to him. (_To_ HARPAGON) Really, your son is not so extravagant as +you think, and is amenable to reason. He says that he is conscious of +the respect he owes you, and that he only got angry in the heat of the +moment. He will willingly submit to all you wish if you will only +promise to treat him more kindly than you do, and will give him in +marriage a person to his taste. + +HAR. Ah! tell him, Master Jacques, that he will obtain everything from +me on those terms, and that, except Marianne, I leave him free to +choose for his wife whomsoever he pleases. + +JAC. Leave that to me. (_To_ CLEANTE) Really, your father is not so +unreasonable as you make him out to me; and he tells me that it is +your violence which irritated him. He only objects to your way of +doing things, and is quite ready to grant you all you want, provided +you will use gentle means and will give him the deference, respect, +and submission that a son owes to his father. + +CLE. Ah! Master Jacques, you can assure him that if he grants me +Marianne, he will always find me the most submissive of men, and that +I shall never do anything contrary to his pleasure. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). It's all right; he consents to what you say. + +HAR. Nothing could be better. + +JAC. (_to_ CLEANTE). It's all settled; he is satisfied with your +promises. + +CLE. Heaven be praised! + +JAC. Gentlemen, you have nothing to do but to talk quietly over the +matter together; you are agreed now, and yet you were on the point of +quarrelling through want of understanding each other. + +CLE. My poor Jacques, I shall be obliged to you all my life. + +JAC. Don't mention it, Sir. + +HAR. You have given me great pleasure, Master Jacques, and deserve a +reward. (HARPAGON _feels in his pocket_, JACQUES _holds out his hand, +but_ HARPAGON _only pulls out his handkerchief, and says_,) Go; I will +remember it, I promise you. + +JAC. I thank you kindly, Sir. + + +SCENE V.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE. + +CLE. I beg your pardon, father, for having been angry. + +HAR. It is nothing. + +CLE. I assure you that I feel very sorry about it. + +HAR. I am very happy to see you reasonable again. + +CLE. How very kind of you so soon to forget my fault. + +HAR. One easily forgets the faults of children when they return to +their duty. + +CLE. What! you are not angry with me for my extravagant behaviour? + +HAR. By your submission and respectful conduct you compel me to forget +my anger. + +CLE. I assure you, father, I shall for ever keep in heart the +remembrance of all your kindness. + +HAR. And I promise you that, in future, you will obtain all you like +from me. + +CLE. Oh, father! I ask nothing more; it is sufficient for me that you +give me Marianne. + +HAR. What? + +CLE. I say, father, that I am only too thankful already for what you +have done, and that when you give me Marianne, you give me everything. + +HAR. Who talks of giving you Marianne? + +CLE. You, father. + +HAR. I? + +CLE. Yes. + +HAR. What! is it not you who promised to give her up? + +CLE. I! give her up? + +HAR. Yes. + +CLE. Certainly not. + +HAR. Did you not give up all pretensions to her? + +CLE. On the contrary, I am more determined than ever to have her. + +HAR. What, scoundrel! again? + +CLE. Nothing can make me change my mind. + +HAR. Let me get at you again, wretch! + +CLE. You can do as you please. + +HAR. I forbid you ever to come within my sight. + +CLE. As you like. + +HAR. I abandon you. + +CLE. Abandon me. + +HAR. I disown you. + +CLE. Disown me. + +HAR. I disinherit you. + +CLE. As you will. + +HAR. I give you my curse. + +CLE. I want none of your gifts. + + +SCENE VI.--CLEANTE, LA FLECHE. + +LA FL. (_leaving the garden with a casket_). Ah! Sir, you are just in +the nick of time. Quick! follow me. + +CLE. What is the matter? + +LA FL. Follow me, I say. We are saved. + +CLE. How? + +LA FL. Here is all you want. + +CLE. What? + +LA FL. I have watched for this all day. + +CLE. What is it? + +LA FL. Your father's treasure that I have got hold of. + +CLE. How did you manage it? + +LA FL. I will tell you all about it. Let us be off. I can hear him +calling out. + + +SCENE VII.--HARPAGON, _from the garden, rushing in without his hat, +and crying_-- + +Thieves! thieves! assassins! murder! Justice, just heavens! I am +undone; I am murdered; they have cut my throat; they have stolen my +money! Who can it be? What has become of him? Where is he? Where is he +hiding himself? What shall I do to find him? Where shall I run? Where +shall I not run? Is he not here? Who is this? Stop! (_To himself, +taking hold of his own arm_) Give me back my money, wretch.... Ah...! +it is myself.... My mind is wandering, and I know not where I am, who +I am, and what I am doing. Alas! my poor money! my poor money! my +dearest friend, they have bereaved me of thee; and since thou art +gone, I have lost my support, my consolation, and my joy. All is ended +for me, and I have nothing more to do in the world! Without thee it is +impossible for me to live. It is all over with me; I can bear it no +longer. I am dying; I am dead; I am buried. Is there nobody who will +call me from the dead, by restoring my dear money to me, or by telling +me who has taken it? Ah! what is it you say? It is no one. Whoever has +committed the deed must have watched carefully for his opportunity, +and must have chosen the very moment when I was talking with my +miscreant of a son. I must go. I will demand justice, and have the +whole of my house put to the torture--my maids and my valets, my son, +my daughter, and myself too. What a crowd of people are assembled +here! Everyone seems to be my thief. I see no one who does not rouse +suspicion in me. Ha! what are they speaking of there? Of him who stole +my money? What noise is that up yonder? Is it my thief who is there? +For pity's sake, if you know anything of my thief, I beseech you to +tell me. Is he hiding there among you? They all look at me and laugh. +We shall see that they all have a share in the robbery. Quick! +magistrates, police, provosts, judges, racks, gibbets, and +executioners. I will hang everybody, and if I do not find my money, I +will hang myself afterwards. + + + + +ACT V. + +SCENE I.--HARPAGON, A POLICE OFFICER. + + +OFF. Leave that to me. I know my business. Thank Heaven! this is not +the first time I have been employed in finding out thieves; and I wish +I had as many bags of a thousand francs as I have had people hanged. + +HAR. Every magistrate must take this affair in hand; and if my money +is not found, I shall call justice against justice itself. + +OFF. We must take all needful steps. You say there was in that +casket...? + +HAR. Ten thousand crowns in cash. + +OFF. Ten thousand crowns! + +HAR. Ten thousand crowns. + +OFF. A considerable theft. + +HAR. There is no punishment great enough for the enormity of the +crime; and if it remain unpunished, the most sacred things are no +longer secure. + +OFF. In what coins was that sum? + +HAR. In good louis d'or and pistoles of full weight. + +OFF. Whom do you suspect of this robbery? + +HAR. Everybody. I wish you to take into custody the whole town and +suburbs. + +OFF. You must not, if you trust me, frighten anybody, but must use +gentle means to collect evidence, in order afterwards to proceed with +more rigour for the recovery of the sum which has been taken from you. + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES. + +JAC. (_at the end of the stage, turning back to the door by which he +came in_). I am coming back. Have his throat cut at once; have his +feet singed; put him in boiling water, and hang him up to the ceiling. + +HAR. What! Him who has robbed me? + +JAC. I was speaking of a sucking pig that your steward has just sent +me; and I want to have it dressed for you after my own fancy. + +HAR. This is no longer the question; and you have to speak of +something else to this gentleman. + +OFF. (_to_ JACQUES). Don't get frightened. I am not a man to cause any +scandal, and matters will be carried on by gentle means. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). Is this gentleman coming to supper with you? + +OFF. You must, in this case, my good man, hide nothing from your +master. + +JAC. Indeed, Sir, I will show you all I know, and will treat you in +the best manner I possibly can. + +OFF. That's not the question. + +JAC. If I do not give as good fare as I should like, it is the fault +of your steward, who has clipped my wings with the scissors of his +economy. + +HAR. Rascal! We have other matters to talk about than your supper; and +I want you to tell me what has become of the money which has been +stolen from me. + +JAC. Some money has been stolen from you? + +HAR. Yes, you rascal! And I'll have you hanged if you don't give it me +back again. + +OFF. (_to_ HARPAGON). Pray, don't be hard upon him. I see by his looks +that he is an honest fellow, and that he will tell you all you want to +know without going to prison. Yes, my friend, if you confess, no harm +shall come to you, and you shall be well rewarded by your master. Some +money has been stolen from him, and it is not possible that you know +nothing about it. + +JAC. (_aside_). The very thing I wanted in order to be revenged of our +steward. Ever since he came here, he has been the favourite, and his +advice is the only one listened to. Moreover, I have forgotten neither +the cudgelling of to-day nor ... + +HAR. What are you muttering about there? + +OFF. (_to_ HARPAGON). Leave him alone. He is preparing himself to +satisfy you; I told you that he was an honest fellow. + +JAC. Sir, since you want me to tell you what I know, I believe it is +your steward who has done this. + +HAR. Valere? + +JAC. Yes. + +HAR. He who seemed so faithful to me! + +JAC. Himself. I believe that it is he who has robbed you. + +HAR. And what makes you believe it? + +JAC. What makes me believe it? + +HAR. Yes. + +JAC. I believe it...because I believe it. + +OFF. But you must tell us the proofs you have. + +HAR. Did you see him hanging about the place where I had put my money? + +JAC. Yes, indeed. Where was your money? + +HAR. In the garden. + +JAC. Exactly; I saw him loitering about in the garden; and in what was +your money? + +HAR. In a casket. + +JAC. The very thing. I saw him with a casket. + +HAR. And this casket, what was it like? I shall soon see if it is +mine. + +JAC. What it was like? + +HAR. Yes. + +JAC. It was like ... like a casket. + +OFF. Of course. But describe it a little, to see if it is the same. + +JAC. It was a large casket. + +HAR. The one taken from me is a small one. + +JAC. Yes, small if you look at it in that way; but I call it large +because of what it contains. + +HAR. And what colour was it? + +JAC. What colour? + +OFF. Yes. + +JAC. Of a colour ... of a certain colour.... Can't you help me to find +the word? + +HAR. Ugh! + +JAC. Red; isn't it? + +HAR. No, grey. + +JAC. Ha! yes, reddish-grey! That's what I meant. + +HAR. There is no doubt about it, it's my casket for certain. Write +down his evidence, Sir! Heavens! whom can we trust after that? We must +never swear to anything, and I believe now that I might rob my own +self. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). There he is coming back, Sir; I beg of you not +to go and tell him that it was I who let it all out, Sir. + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES. + +HAR. Come, come near, and confess the most abominable action, the most +horrible crime, that was ever committed. + +VAL. What do you want, Sir? + +HAR. What, wretch! you do not blush for shame after such a crime? + +VAL. Of what crime do you speak? + +HAR. Of what crime I speak? Base villain, as if you did not know what +I mean! It is in vain for you to try to hide it; the thing is +discovered, and I have just heard all the particulars. How could you +thus abuse my kindness, introduce yourself on purpose into my house to +betray me, and to play upon me such an abominable trick? + +VAL. Sir, since everything is known to you, I will neither deny what I +have done nor will I try to palliate it. + +JAC. (_aside_). Oh! oh! Have I guessed the truth? + +VAL. I intended to speak to you about it, and I was watching for a +favourable opportunity; but, as this is no longer possible, I beg of +you not to be angry, and to hear my motives. + +HAR. And what fine motives can you possibly give me, infamous thief? + +VAL. Ah! Sir, I do not deserve these names. I am guilty towards you, +it is true; but, after all, my fault is pardonable. + +HAR. How pardonable? A premeditated trick, and such an assassination +as this! + +VAL. I beseech you not to be so angry with me. When you have heard all +I have to say, you will see that the harm is not so great as you make +it out to be. + +HAR. The harm not so great as I make it out to be! What! my heart's +blood, scoundrel! + +VAL. Your blood, Sir, has not fallen into bad hands. My rank is high +enough not to disgrace it, and there is nothing in all this for which +reparation cannot be made. + +HAR. It is, indeed, my intention that you should restore what you have +taken from me. + +VAL. Your honour, Sir, shall be fully satisfied. + +HAR. Honour is not the question in all this. But tell me what made you +commit such a deed? + +VAL. Alas! do you ask it? + +HAR. Yes, I should rather think that I do. + +VAL. A god, Sir, who carries with him his excuses for all he makes +people do: Love. + +HAR. Love? + +VAL. Yes. + +HAR. Fine love that! fine love, indeed! the love of my gold! + +VAL. No, Sir, it is not your wealth that has tempted me, it is not +that which has dazzled me; and I swear never to pretend to any of your +possessions, provided you leave me what I have. + +HAR. In the name of all the devils, no, I shall not leave it to you. +But did anyone ever meet with such villainy! He wishes to keep what he +has robbed me of! + +VAL. Do you call that a robbery? + +HAR. If I call that a robbery? A treasure like that! + +VAL. I readily acknowledge that it is a treasure, and the most +precious one you have. But it will not be losing it to leave it to me. +I ask you on my knees to leave in my possession this treasure so full +of charms; and if you do right, you will grant it to me. + +HAR. I will do nothing of the kind. What in the world are you driving +at? + +VAL. We have pledged our faith to each other, and have taken an oath +never to forsake one another. + +HAR. The oath is admirable, and the promise strange enough! + +VAL. Yes, we are engaged to each other for ever. + +HAR. I know pretty well how to disengage you, I assure you of that. + +VAL. Nothing but death can separate us. + +HAR. You must be devilishly bewitched by my money. + +VAL. I have told you already, Sir, that it is not self-interest which +has prompted me to what I have done. It was not that which prompted my +heart; a nobler motive inspired me. + +HAR. We shall hear presently that it is out of Christian charity that +he covets my money! But I will put a stop to all this, and justice, +impudent rascal, will soon give me satisfaction. + +VAL. You will do as you please, and I am ready to suffer all the +violence you care to inflict upon me, but I beg of you to believe, at +least, that if there is any harm done, I am the only one guilty, and +that your daughter has done nothing wrong in all this. + +HAR. I should think not! It would be strange, indeed, if my daughter +had a share in this crime. But I will have that treasure back again, +and you must confess to what place you have carried it off.[6] + +VAL. I have not carried it off, and it is still in your house. + +HAR. (_aside_). O my beloved casket! (_To_ VALERE) My treasure has not +left my house? + +VAL. No, Sir. + +HAR. Well, then, tell me, have you taken any liberties with...? + +VAL. Ah! Sir, you wrong us both; the flame with which I burn is too +pure, too full of respect. + +HAR. (_aside_). He burns for my casket! + +VAL. I had rather die than show the least offensive thought: I found +too much modesty and too much purity for that. + +HAR. (_aside_). My cash-box modest! + +VAL. All my desires were limited to the pleasures of sight, and +nothing criminal has profaned the passion those fair eyes have +inspired me with. + +HAR. (_aside_). The fair eyes of my cash-box! He speaks of it as a +lover does of his mistress. + +VAL. Dame Claude knows the whole truth, and she can bear witness to +it. + +HAR. Hallo! my servant is an accomplice in this affair? + +VAL. Yes, Sir, she was a witness to our engagement; and it was after +being sure of the innocence of my love that she helped me to persuade +your daughter to engage herself to me. + +HAR. Ah! (_Aside_) Has the fear of justice made him lose his senses? +(_To_ VALERE) What rubbish are you talking about my daughter? + +VAL. I say, Sir, that I found it most difficult to make her modesty +consent to what my love asked of her. + +HAR. The modesty of whom? + +VAL. Of your daughter; and it was only yesterday that she could make +up her mind to sign our mutual promise of marriage. + +HAR. My daughter has signed a promise of marriage? + +VAL. Yes, Sir, and I have also signed. + +HAR. O heavens! another misfortune! + +JAC. (_to the_ OFFICER). Write, Sir, write. + +HAR. Aggravation of misery! Excess of despair! (_To the_ OFFICER) Sir, +discharge your duty, and draw me up an indictment against him as a +thief and a suborner. + +JAC. As a thief and a suborner. + +VAL. These are names which I do not deserve, and when you know who I +am.... + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, ELISE, MARIANNE, VALERE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES, +THE POLICE OFFICER. + +HAR. Ah! guilty daughter! unworthy of a father like me! is it thus +that you put into practice the lessons I have given you? You give your +love to an infamous thief, and engage yourself to him without my +consent! But you shall both be disappointed. (_To_ ELISE) Four strong +walls will answer for your conduct in the future; (_to_ VALERE) and +good gallows, impudent thief, shall do me justice for your audacity. + +VAL. Your anger will be no judge in this affair, and I shall at least +have a hearing before I am condemned. + +HAR. I was wrong to say gallows; you shall be broken alive on the +wheel. + +ELI. (_kneeling to her father_). Ah! my father, be more merciful, I +beseech you, and do not let your paternal authority drive matters to +extremes. Do not suffer yourself to be carried away by the first +outburst of your anger, but give yourself time to consider what you +do. Take the trouble of inquiring about him whose conduct has offended +you. He is not what you imagine, and you will think it less strange +that I should have given myself to him, when you know that without him +you would long ago have lost me for ever. Yes, father, it is he who +saved me from the great danger I ran in the waters, and to whom you +owe the life of that very daughter who ... + +HAR. All this is nothing; and it would have been much better for me if +he had suffered you to be drowned rather than do what he has done. + +ELI. My father, I beseech you, in the name of paternal love, grant +me ... + +HAR. No, no. I will hear nothing, and justice must have its course. + +JAC. (_aside_). You shall pay me for the blows you gave me. + +FRO. What a perplexing state of affairs! + + +SCENE V.--ANSELME, HARPAGON, ELISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE, VALERE, THE +POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES. + +ANS. What can have happened, Mr. Harpagon? You are quite upset. + +HAR. Ah, Mr. Anselme, you see in me the most unfortunate of men; and +you can never imagine what vexation and disorder is connected with the +contract you have come to sign! I am attacked in my property; I am +attacked in my honour; and you see there a scoundrel and a wretch who +has violated the most sacred rights, who has introduced himself into +my house as a servant in order to steal my money, and seduce my +daughter. + +VAL. Who ever thought of your money about which you rave? + +HAR. Yes; they have given each other a promise of marriage. This +insult concerns you, Mr. Anselme; and it is you who ought to be +plaintiff against him, and who at your own expense ought to prosecute +him to the utmost, in order to be revenged. + +ANS. It is not my intention to force anybody to marry me, and to lay +claim to a heart which has already bestowed itself; but as far as your +interests are concerned, I am ready to espouse them as if they were my +own. + +HAR. This is the gentleman, an honest commissary, who has promised +that he will omit nothing of what concerns the duties of his office. +(_To the_ OFFICER, _showing_ VALERE) Charge him, Sir, as he ought to +be, and make matters very criminal. + +VAL. I do not see what crime they can make of my passion for your +daughter, nor the punishment you think I ought to be condemned to for +our engagement; when it is known who I am ... + +HAR. I don't care a pin for all those stories, and the world is full, +nowadays, of those pretenders to nobility, of those impostors, who +take advantage of their obscurity and deck themselves out insolently +with the first illustrious name that comes into their head. + +VAL. Know that I am too upright to adorn myself with a name which is +not mine, and that all Naples can bear testimony to my birth! + +ANS. Softly! Take care of what you are about to say. You speak before +a man to whom all Naples is known, and who can soon see if your story +is true. + +VAL. (_proudly putting on his hat_). I am not the man to fear +anything; and if all Naples is known to you, you know who was Don +Thomas d'Alburci. + +ANS. Certainly; I know who he is, and few people know him better than +I do. + +HAR. I care neither for Don Thomas nor Don Martin. (_Seeing two +candles burning, he blows one out_.) + +ANS. Have patience and let him speak; we shall soon know what he has +to say of him. + +VAL. That it is to him that I owe my birth. + +ANS. To him? + +VAL. Yes. + +ANS. Nonsense; you are laughing. Try and make out a more likely story, +and don't pretend to shelter yourself under such a piece of imposture. + +VAL. Consider your words better before you speak; it is no imposture, +and I say nothing here that I cannot prove. + +ANS. What! You dare to call yourself the son of Don Thomas d'Alburci? + +VAL. Yes, I dare to do so; and I am ready to maintain the truth +against anyone, who ever he may be. + +ANS. This audacity is marvellous. Learn to your confusion that it is +now at least sixteen years ago since the man of whom you speak died in +a shipwreck at sea with his wife and children, when he was trying to +save their lives from the cruel persecutions which accompanied the +troubles at Naples, and which caused the banishment of several noble +families. + +VAL. Yes; but learn to your confusion that his son, seven years of +age, was, with a servant, saved from the wreck by a Spanish vessel, +and that this son is he who now speaks to you. Learn that the captain +of that ship, touched with compassion at my misfortune, loved me; that +he had me brought up as his own son, and that the profession of arms +has been my occupation ever since I was fit for it; that lately I +heard that my father is not dead, as I thought he was; that, passing +this way to go and find him out, an accident, arranged by heaven, +brought to my sight the charming Elise; that the sight of her made me +a slave to her beauty, and that the violence of my love and the +harshness of her father made me take the resolution to come into his +house disguised as a servant, and to send some one else to look after +my parents. + +ANS. But what other proofs have you besides your own words that all +this is not a fable based by you upon truth. + +VAL. What proofs? The captain of the Spanish vessel; a ruby seal which +belonged to my father; an agate bracelet which my mother put upon my +arm; and old Pedro, that servant who was saved with me from the wreck. + +MAR. Alas! I can answer here for what you have said; that you do not +deceive us; and all you say clearly tells me that you are my brother. + +VAL. You my sister! + +MAR. Yes, my heart was touched as soon as you began to speak; and our +mother, who will be delighted at seeing you, often told me of the +misfortunes of our family. Heaven spared us also in that dreadful +wreck; but our life was spared at the cost of our liberty, for my +mother and myself were taken up by pirates from the wreck of our +vessel. After ten years of slavery a lucky event gave us back to +liberty, and we returned to Naples, where we found all our property +sold, and could hear no news of our father. We embarked for Genoa, +where my mother went to gather what remained of a family estate which +had been much disputed. Leaving her unjust relatives, she came here, +where she has lived but a weary life. + +ANS. O heaven! how wonderful are thy doings, and how true it is that +it only belongs to thee to work miracles! Come to my arms, my +children, and share the joy of your happy father! + +VAL. You are our father? + +MAR. It was for you that my mother wept? + +ANS. Yes, my daughter; yes, my son; I am Don Thomas d'Alburci, whom +heaven saved from the waves, with all the money he had with him, and +who, after sixteen years, believing you all dead, was preparing, after +long journeys, to seek the consolations of a new family in marrying a +gentle and virtuous woman. The little security there was for my life +in Naples has made me abandon the idea of returning there, and having +found the means of selling what I had, I settled here under the name +of Anselme. I wished to forget the sorrows of a name associated with +so many and great troubles. + +HAR. (_to_ ANSELME). He is your son? + +ANS. Yes. + +HAR. That being so, I make you responsible for the ten thousand crowns +that he has stolen from me. + +ANS. He steal anything from you! + +HAR. Yes. + +VAL. Who said so? + +HAR. Master Jacques. + +VAL. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES). You say that? + +JAC. You see that I am not saying anything. + +HAR. He certainly did. There is the officer who has received his +deposition. + +VAL. Can you really believe me capable of such a base action? + +HAR. Capable or not capable, I must find my money. + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ANSELME, ELISE, MARIANNE, CLEANTE, VALERE, +FROSINE, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES, LA FLECHE. + +CLE. Do not grieve for your money, father, and accuse any one. I have +news of it, and I come here to tell you that if you consent to let me +marry Marianne, your money will be given back to you. + +HAR. Where is it? + +CLE. Do not trouble yourself about that. It is in a safe place, and I +answer for it; everything depends on your resolve. It is for you to +decide, and you have the choice either of losing Marianne or your +cash-box. + +HAR. Has nothing been taken out? + +CLE. Nothing at all. Is it your intention to agree to this marriage, +and to join your consent to that of her mother, who leaves her at +liberty to do as she likes? + +MAR. (_to_ CLEANTE). But you do not know that this consent is no +longer sufficient, and that heaven has given me back a brother +(_showing_ VALERE), at the same time that it has given me back a +father (_showing_ ANSELME); and you have now to obtain me from him. + +ANS. Heaven, my dear children, has not restored you to me that I might +oppose your wishes. Mr. Harpagon, you must be aware that the choice of +a young girl is more likely to fall upon the son than upon the father. +Come, now, do not force people to say to you what is unnecessary, and +consent, as I do, to this double marriage. + +HAR. In order for me to be well advised, I must see my casket. + +CLE. You shall see it safe and sound. + +HAR. I have no money to give my children in marriage. + +ANS. Never mind, I have some; do not let this trouble you. + +HAR. Do you take upon yourself to defray the expenses of these two +weddings? + +ANS. Yes, I will take this responsibility upon myself. Are you +satisfied? + +HAR. Yes, provided you order me a new suit of clothes for the wedding. + +ANS. Agreed! Let us go and enjoy the blessings this happy day brings +us. + +OFF. Stop, Sirs, stop; softly, if you please. Who is to pay me for my +writing? + +HAR. We have nothing to do with your writing. + +OFF. Indeed! and yet I do not pretend to have done it for nothing. + +HAR. (_showing_ MASTER JACQUES). There is a fellow you can hang in +payment! + +JAC. Alas! what is one to do? I receive a good cudgelling for telling +the truth, and now they would hang me for lying. + +ANS. Mr. Harpagon, you must forgive him this piece of imposture. + +HAR. You will pay the officer then? + +ANS. Let it be so. Let us go quickly, my children, to share our joy +with your mother! + +HAR. And I to see my dear casket + +THE END + + + + + FOOTNOTES: + + [1] An old comic pastoral. + + [2] The real hero in Rabelais' 'Pantagruel.' + + [3] Frosine professes a knowledge of palmistry. + + [4] Old enemies. The Turks took Candia from the Venetians in 1669, + after a war of twenty years. + + [5] Moliere makes use even of his own infirmities. Compare act i. scene + iii. This cough killed him at last. + + [6] A good deal of the mystification is lost in the translation through + the necessity of occasionally putting _it_ for _casket_, and _she_ for + Elise. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MISER (L'AVARE)*** + + +******* This file should be named 6923.txt or 6923.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/6/9/2/6923 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: The Miser + +Author: Jean-Baptiste Poquelin + +Release Date: November, 2004 [EBook #6923] +[This file was first posted on February 11, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE MISER *** + + + + +Delphine Lettau and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + +THE MISER. (L'AVARE.) + +BY + +MOLIERE + + +TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH PROSE + +_WITH A SHORT INTRODUCTION AND EXPLANATORY NOTES._ + +BY + +CHARLES HERON WALL + + + +This play was acted for the first time on September 9, 1668. In it, +Moliere has borrowed from Plautus, and has imitated several other +authors, but he far surpasses them in the treatment of his subject. +The picture of the miser, in whom love of money takes the place of all +natural affections, who not only withdraws from family intercourse, +but considers his children as natural enemies, is finely drawn, and +renders Moliere's Miser altogether more dramatic and moral than those +of his predecessors. + +Moliere acted the part of Harpagon. + + + + +PERSONS REPRESENTED. + + +HARPAGON, _father to_ CLEANTE, _in love with_ MARIANNE. + +CLEANTE, HARPAGON'S _son, lover to_ MARIANNE. + +VALERE, _son to_ ANSELME, _and lover to_ ELISE. + +ANSELME, _father to_ VALERE _and_ MARIANNE. + +MASTER SIMON, _broker_. + +MASTER JACQUES, _cook and coachman to_ HARPAGON. + +LA FLECHE, _valet to_ CLEANTE. + +BRINDAVOINE, and LA MERLUCHE, _lackeys to_ HARPAGON. + +A MAGISTRATE _and his_ CLERK. + +ELISE, _daughter to_ HARPAGON. + +MARIANNE, _daughter to_ ANSELME. + +FROSINE, _an intriguing woman_. + +MISTRESS CLAUDE, _servant to_ HARPAGON. + + * * * * * + +_The scene is at_ PARIS, _in_ HARPAGON'S _house_. + + + + +THE MISER. + + + +ACT I. + +SCENE I.--VALERE, ELISE. + + +VAL. What, dear Elise! you grow sad after having given me such dear +tokens of your love; and I see you sigh in the midst of my joy! Can +you regret having made me happy? and do you repent of the engagement +which my love has forced from you? + +ELI. No, Valere, I do not regret what I do for you; I feel carried on +by too delightful a power, and I do not even wish that things should +be otherwise than they are. Yet, to tell you the truth, I am very +anxious about the consequences; and I greatly fear that I love you +more than I should. + +VAL. What can you possibly fear from the affection you have shown me? + +ELI. Everything; the anger of my father, the reproaches of my family, +the censure of the world, and, above all, Valere, a change in your +heart! I fear that cruel coldness with which your sex so often repays +the too warm proofs of an innocent love. + +VAL. Alas! do not wrong me thus; do not judge of me by others. Think +me capable of everything, Elise, except of falling short of what I owe +to you. I love you too much for that; and my love will be as lasting +as my life! + +ELI. Ah! Valere, all men say the same thing; all men are alike in +their words; their actions only show the difference that exists +between them. + +VAL. Then why not wait for actions, if by them alone you can judge of +the truthfulness of my heart? Do not suffer your anxious fears to +mislead you, and to wrong me. Do not let an unjust suspicion destroy +the happiness which is to me dearer than life; but give me time to +show you by a thousand proofs the sincerity of my affection. + +ELI. Alas! how easily do we allow ourselves to be persuaded by those +we love. I believe you, Valere; I feel sure that your heart is utterly +incapable of deceiving me, that your love is sincere, and that you +will ever remain faithful to me. I will no longer doubt that happiness +is near. If I grieve, it will only be over the difficulties of our +position, and the possible censures of the world. + +VAL. But why even this fear? + +ELI. Oh, Valere! if everybody knew you as I do, I should not have much +to fear. I find in you enough to justify all I do for you; my heart +knows all your merit, and feels, moreover, bound to you by deep +gratitude. How can I forget that horrible moment when we met for the +first time? Your generous courage in risking your own life to save +mine from the fury of the waves; your tender care afterwards; your +constant attentions and your ardent love, which neither time nor +difficulties can lessen! For me you neglect your parents and your +country; you give up your own position in life to be a servant of my +father! How can I resist the influence that all this has over me? Is +it not enough to justify in my eyes my engagement to you? Yet, who +knows if it will be enough to justify it in the eyes of others? and +how can I feel sure that my motives will be understood? + +VAL. You try in vain to find merit in what I have done; it is by my +love alone that I trust to deserve you. As for the scruples you feel, +your father himself justifies you but too much before the world; and +his avarice and the distant way in which he lives with his children +might authorise stranger things still. Forgive me, my dear Elise, for +speaking thus of your father before you; but you know that, +unfortunately, on this subject no good can be said of him. However, if +I can find my parents, as I fully hope I shall, they will soon be +favourable to us. I am expecting news of them with great impatience; +but if none comes I will go in search of them myself. + +ELI. Oh no! Valere, do not leave me, I entreat you. Try rather to +ingratiate yourself in my father's favour. + +VAL. You know how much I wish it, and you can see how I set about it. +You know the skilful manoeuvres I have had to use in order to +introduce myself into his service; under what a mask of sympathy and +conformity of tastes I disguise my own feelings to please him; and +what a part I play to acquire his affection. I succeed wonderfully +well, and I feel that to obtain favour with men, there are no better +means than to pretend to be of their way of thinking, to fall in with +their maxims, to praise their defects, and to applaud all their +doings. One need not fear to overdo it, for however gross the +flattery, the most cunning are easily duped; there is nothing so +impertinent or ridiculous which they will not believe, provided it be +well seasoned with praise. Honesty suffers, I acknowledge; but when we +have need of men, we may be allowed without blame to adapt ourselves +to their mode of thought; and if we have no other hope of success but +through such stratagem, it is not after all the fault of those who +flatter, but the fault of those who wish to be flattered. + +ELI. Why do you not try also to gain my brother's goodwill, in case +the servant should betray our secret? + +VAL. I am afraid I cannot humour them both. The temper of the father +is so different from that of the son that it would be difficult to be +the confidant of both at the same time. Rather try your brother +yourself; make use of the love that exists between you to enlist him +in our cause. I leave you, for I see him coming. Speak to him, sound +him, and see how far we can trust him. + +ELI. I greatly fear I shall never have the courage to speak to him of +my secret. + + + + +SCENE II.--CLEANTE, ELISE, + + +CLE. I am very glad to find you alone, sister. I longed to speak to +you and to tell you a secret. + +ELI. I am quite ready to hear you, brother. What is it you have to +tell me? + +CLE. Many things, sister, summed up in one word--love. + +ELI. You love? + +CLE. Yes, I love. But, before I say more, let me tell you that I know +I depend on my father, and that the name of son subjects me to his +will; that it would be wrong to engage ourselves without the consent +of the authors of our being; that heaven has made them the masters of +our affections, and that it is our duty not to dispose of ourselves +but in accordance to their wish; that their judgment is not biassed by +their being in love themselves; that they are, therefore, much more +likely not to be deceived by appearances, and to judge better what is +good for us; that we ought to trust their experience rather than the +passion which blinds us; and that the rashness of youth often carries +us to the very brink of dangerous abysses. I know all this, my sister, +and I tell it you to spare you the trouble of saying it to me, for my +love will not let me listen to anything, and I pray you to spare me +your remonstrances. + +ELI. Have you engaged yourself, brother, to her you love? + +CLE. No, but I have determined to do so; and I beseech you once more +not to bring forward any reason to dissuade me from it. + +ELI. Am I such a very strange person, brother? + +CLE. No, dear sister; but you do not love. You know not the sweet +power that love has upon our hearts; and I dread your wisdom. + +ELI. Alas! my brother, let us not speak of my wisdom. There are very +few people in this world who do not lack wisdom, were it only once in +their lifetime; and if I opened my heart to you, perhaps you would +think me less wise than you are yourself. + +CLE. Ah! would to heaven that your heart, like mine.... + +ELI. Let us speak of you first, and tell me whom it is you love. + +CLE. A young girl who has lately come to live in our neighbourhood, +and who seems made to inspire love in all those who behold her. +Nature, my dear sister, has made nothing more lovely; and I felt +another man the moment I saw her. Her name is Marianne, and she lives +with a good, kind mother, who is almost always ill, and for whom the +dear girl shows the greatest affection. She waits upon her, pities and +comforts her with a tenderness that would touch you to the very soul. +Whatever she undertakes is done in the most charming way; and in all +her actions shine a wonderful grace, a most winning gentleness, an +adorable modesty, a ... ah! my sister, how I wish you had but seen +her. + +ELI. I see many things in what you tell me, dear brother; and it is +sufficient for me to know that you love her for me to understand what +she is. + +CLE. I have discovered, without their knowing it, that they are not in +very good circumstances, and that, although they live with the +greatest care, they have barely enough to cover their expenses. Can +you imagine, my sister, what happiness it must be to improve the +condition of those we love; skilfully to bring about some relief to +the modest wants of a virtuous family? And think what grief it is for +me to find myself deprived of this great joy through the avarice of a +father, and for it to be impossible for me to give any proof of my +love to her who is all in all to me. + +ELI. Yes, I understand, dear brother, what sorrow this must be to you. + +CLE. It is greater, my sister, than you can believe. For is there +anything more cruel than this mean economy to which we are subjected? +this strange penury in which we are made to pine? What good will it do +us to have a fortune if it only comes to us when we are not able to +enjoy it; if now to provide for my daily maintenance I get into debt +on every side; if both you and I are reduced daily to beg the help of +tradespeople in order to have decent clothes to wear? In short, I +wanted to speak to you that you might help me to sound my father +concerning my present feelings; and if I find him opposed to them, I +am determined to go and live elsewhere with this most charming girl, +and to make the best of what Providence offers us. I am trying +everywhere to raise money for this purpose; and if your circumstances, +dear sister, are like mine, and our father opposes us, let us both +leave him, and free ourselves from the tyranny in which his hateful +avarice has for so long held us. + +ELI. It is but too true that every day he gives us more and more +reason to regret the death of our mother, and that.... + +CLE. I hear his voice. Let us go a little farther and finish our talk. +We will afterwards join our forces to make a common attack on his hard +and unkind heart. + + + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, LA FLECHE. + + +HAR. Get out of here, this moment; and let me have no more of your +prating. Now then, be gone out of my house, you sworn pickpocket, you +veritable gallows' bird. + +LA FL. (_aside_). I never saw anything more wicked than this +cursed old man; and I truly believe, if I may be allowed to say so, +that he is possessed with a devil. + +HAR. What are you muttering there between your teeth? + +LA FL. Why do you send me away? + +HAR. You dare to ask me my reasons, you scoundrel? Out with you, this +moment, before I give you a good thrashing. + +LA FL. What have I done to you? + +HAR. Done this, that I wish you to be off. + +LA FL. My master, your son, gave me orders to wait for him. + +HAR. Go and wait for him in the street, then; out with you; don't stay +in my house, straight and stiff as a sentry, to observe what is going +on, and to make your profit of everything. I won't always have before +me a spy on all my affairs; a treacherous scamp, whose cursed eyes +watch all my actions, covet all I possess, and ferret about in every +corner to see if there is anything to steal. + +LA FL. How the deuce could one steal anything from you? Are you a man +likely to be robbed when you put every possible thing under lock and +key, and mount guard day and night? + +HAR. I will lock up whatever I think fit, and mount guard when and +where I please. Did you ever see such spies as are set upon me to take +note of everything I do? (_Aside_) I tremble for fear he should +suspect something of my money. (_Aloud_) Now, aren't you a fellow +to give rise to stories about my having money hid in my house? + +LA FL. You have some money hid in your house? + +HAR. No, scoundrel! I do not say that. _(Aside)_ I am furious! +_(Aloud)_ I only ask if out of mischief you do not spread abroad +the report that I have some? + +LA FL. Oh! What does it matter whether you have money, or whether you +have not, since it is all the same to us? + +HAR. _(raising his hand to give LA FLECHE a blow)_. Oh! oh! You +want to argue, do you? I will give you, and quickly too, some few of +these arguments about your ears. Get out of the house, I tell you once +more. + +LA FL. Very well; very well. I am going. + +HAR. No, wait; are you carrying anything away with you? + +LA FL. What can I possibly carry away? + +HAR. Come here, and let me see. Show me your hands. + +LA FL. There they are. + +HAR. The others. + +LA FL. The others? + +HAR. Yes. + +LA FL. There they are. + +HAR. (_pointing to LA FLECHE'S breeches_). Have you anything hid +in here? + +LA FL. Look for yourself. + +HAR. (_feeling the knees of the breeches_). These wide knee- +breeches are convenient receptacles of stolen goods; and I wish a pair +of them had been hanged. + +LA FL. (_aside_). Ah! how richly such a man deserves what he +fears, and what joy it would be to me to steal some of his.... + +HAR. Eh? + +LA FL. What? + +HAR. What is it you talk of stealing? + +LA FL. I say that you feel about everywhere to see if I have been +stealing anything. + +HAR. And I mean to do so too. (_He feels in LA FLECHE'S +pockets_). + +LA FL. Plague take all misers and all miserly ways! + +HAR. Eh? What do you say? + +LA FL. What do I say? + +HAR. Yes. What is it you say about misers and miserly ways. + +LA FL. I say plague take all misers and all miserly ways. + +HAR. Of whom do you speak? + +LA FL. Of misers. + +HAR. And who are they, these misers? + +LA FL. Villains and stingy wretches! + +HAR. But what do you mean by that? + +LA FL. Why do you trouble yourself so much about what I say? + +HAR. I trouble myself because I think it right to do so. + +LA FL. Do you think I am speaking about you? + +HAR. I think what I think; but I insist upon your telling me to whom +you speak when you say that. + +LA FL. To whom I speak? I am speaking to the inside of my hat. + +HAR. And I will, perhaps, speak to the outside of your head. + +LA FL. Would you prevent me from cursing misers? + +HAR. No; but I will prevent you from prating and from being insolent. +Hold your tongue, will you? + +LA FL. I name nobody. + +HAR. Another word, and I'll thrash you. + +LA FL. He whom the cap fits, let him wear it. + +HAR. Will you be silent? + +LA FL. Yes; much against my will. + +HAR. Ah! ah! + +LA FL. (_showing_ HARPAGON _one of his doublet pockets_). +Just look, here is one more pocket. Are you satisfied? + +HAR. Come, give it up to me without all that fuss. + +LA FL. Give you what? + +HAR. What you have stolen from me. + +LA FL. I have stolen nothing at all from you. + +HAR. Are you telling the truth? + +LA FL. Yes. + +HAR. Good-bye, then, and now you may go to the devil. + +LA FL. (_aside_). That's a nice way of dismissing anyone. + +HAR. I leave it to your conscience, remember! + + + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON (_alone_.) + + +This rascally valet is a constant vexation to me; and I hate the very +sight of the good-for-nothing cripple. Really, it is no small anxiety +to keep by one a large sum of money; and happy is the man who has all +his cash well invested, and who needs not keep by him more than he +wants for his daily expenses. I am not a little puzzled to find in the +whole of this house a safe hiding-place. Don't speak to me of your +strong boxes, I will never trust to them. Why, they are just the very +things thieves set upon! + + + + +SCENE V.--_HARPAGON; ELISE and CLEANTE are seen talking together at +the back of the stage._ + + +HAR. (_thinking himself alone_.) Meanwhile, I hardly know whether +I did right to bury in my garden the ten thousand crowns which were +paid to me yesterday. Ten thousand crowns in gold is a sum +sufficiently.... (_Aside, on perceiving_ ELISE _and_ CLEANTE +_whispering together_) Good heavens! I have betrayed myself; my +warmth has carried me away. I believe I spoke aloud while reasoning +with myself. (_To_ CLEANTE _and_ ELISE) What do you want? + +CLE. Nothing, father. + +HAR. Have you been here long? + +ELI. We have only just come. + +HAR. Did you hear...? + +CLE. What, father? + +HAR. There...! + +CLE. What? + +HAR. What I was just now saying. + +CLE. No. + +HAR. You did. I know you did. + +ELI. I beg your pardon, father, but we did not. + +HAR. I see well enough that you overheard a few words. The fact is, I +was only talking to myself about the trouble one has nowadays to raise +any money; and I was saying that he is a fortunate man who has ten +thousand crowns in his house. + +CLE. We were afraid of coming near you, for fear of intruding. + +HAR. I am very glad to tell you this, so that you may not misinterpret +things, and imagine that I said that it was I who have ten thousand +crowns. + +CLE. We do not wish to interfere in your affairs. + +HAR. Would that I had them, these ten thousand crowns! + +CLE. I should not think that.... + +HAR. What a capital affair it would be for me. + +CLE. There are things.... + +HAR. I greatly need them. + +CLE. I fancy that.... + +HAR. It would suit me exceedingly well. + +ELI. You are.... + +HAR. And I should not have to complain, as I do now, that the times +are bad. + +CLE. Dear me, father, you have no reason to complain; and everyone +knows that you are well enough off. + +HAR. How? I am well enough off! Those who say it are liars. Nothing +can be more false; and they are scoundrels who spread such reports. + +ELI. Don't be angry. + +HAR. It is strange that my own children betray me and become my +enemies. + +CLE. Is it being your enemy to say that you have wealth? + +HAR. Yes, it is. Such talk and your extravagant expenses will be the +cause that some day thieves will come and cut my throat, in the belief +that I am made of gold. + +CLE. What extravagant expenses do I indulge in? + +HAR. What! Is there anything more scandalous than this sumptuous +attire with which you jaunt it about the town? I was remonstrating +with your sister yesterday, but you are still worse. It cries +vengeance to heaven; and were we to calculate all you are wearing, +from head to foot, we should find enough for a good annuity. I have +told you a hundred times, my son, that your manners displease me +exceedingly; you affect the marquis terribly, and for you to be always +dressed as you are, you must certainly rob me. + +CLE. Rob you? And how? + +HAR. How should I know? Where else could you find money enough to +clothe yourself as you do? + +CLE. I, father? I play; and as I am very lucky, I spend in clothes all +the money I win. + +HAR. It is very wrong. If you are lucky at play, you should profit by +it, and place the money you win at decent interest, so that you may +find it again some day. I should like to know, for instance, without +mentioning the rest, what need there is for all these ribbons with +which you are decked from head to foot, and if half a dozen tags are +not sufficient to fasten your breeches. What necessity is there for +anyone to spend money upon wigs, when we have hair of our own growth, +which costs nothing. I will lay a wager that, in wigs and ribbons +alone, there are certainly twenty pistoles spent, and twenty pistoles +brings in at least eighteen livres six sous eight deniers per annum, +at only eight per cent interest. + +CLE. You are quite right. + +HAR. Enough on this subject; let us talk of something else. (_Aside, +noticing_ CLEANTE _and_ ELISE, _who make signs to one another_) +I believe they are making signs to one another to pick my pocket. +(_Aloud_) What do you mean by those signs? + +ELI. We are hesitating as to who shall speak first, for we both have +something to tell you. + +HAR. And I also have something to tell you both. + +CLE. We wanted to speak to you about marriage, father. + +HAR. The very thing I wish to speak to you about. + +ELI. Ah! my father! + +HAR. What is the meaning of that exclamation? Is it the word, +daughter, or the thing itself that frightens you? + +CLE. Marriage may frighten us both according to the way you take it; +and our feelings may perhaps not coincide with your choice. + +HAR. A little patience, if you please. You need not be alarmed. I know +what is good for you both, and you will have no reason to complain of +anything I intend to do. To begin at the beginning. (_To_ +CLEANTE) Do you know, tell me, a young person, called Marianne, who +lives not far from here? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. And you? + +ELI. I have heard her spoken of. + +HAR. Well, my son, and how do you like the girl? + +CLE. She is very charming. + +HAR. Her face? + +CLE. Modest and intelligent. + +HAR. Her air and manner? + +CLE. Perfect, undoubtedly. + +HAR. Do you not think that such a girl well deserves to be thought of? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. She would form a very desirable match? + +CLE. Very desirable. + +HAR. That there is every likelihood of her making a thrifty and +careful wife. + +CLE. Certainly. + +HAR. And that a husband might live very happily with her? + +CLE. I have not the least doubt about it. + +HAR. There is one little difficulty; I am afraid she has not the +fortune we might reasonably expect. + +CLE. Oh, my father, riches are of little importance when one is sure +of marrying a virtuous woman. + +HAR. I beg your pardon. Only there is this to be said: that if we do +not find as much money as we could wish, we may make it up in +something else. + +CLE. That follows as a matter of course. + +HAR. Well, I must say that I am very much pleased to find that you +entirely agree with me, for her modest manner and her gentleness have +won my heart; and I have made up my mind to marry her, provided I find +she has some dowry. + +CLE. Eh! + +HAR. What now? + +CLE. You are resolved, you say...? + +HAR. To marry Marianne. + +CLE. Who? you? you? + +HAR. Yes, I, I, I. What does all this mean? + +CLE. I feel a sudden dizziness, and I must withdraw for a little +while. + +HAR. It will be nothing. Go quickly into the kitchen and drink a large +glass of cold water, it will soon set you all right again. + + + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ELISE. + + +HAR. There goes one of your effeminate fops, with no more stamina than +a chicken. That is what I have resolved for myself, my daughter. As to +your brother, I have thought for him of a certain widow, of whom I +heard this morning; and you I shall give to Mr. Anselme. + +ELI. To Mr. Anselme? + +HAR. Yes, a staid and prudent man, who is not above fifty, and of +whose riches everybody speaks. + +ELI. (_curtseying_). I have no wish to marry, father, if you +please. + +HAR. (_imitating_ ELISE). And I, my little girl, my darling, I +wish you to marry, if you please. + +ELI. (_curtseying again_). I beg your pardon, my father. + +HAR. (_again imitating_ ELISE). I beg your pardon, my daughter. + +ELI. I am the very humble servant of Mr. Anselme, but (_curtseying +again_), with your leave, I shall not marry him. + +HAR. I am your very humble servant, but (_again imitating_ ELISE) +you will marry him this very evening. + +ELI. This evening? + +HAR. This evening. + +ELI. (_curtseying again_). It cannot be done, father. + +HAR. (_imitating_ ELISE). It will be done, daughter. + +ELI. No. + +HAR. Yes. + +ELI. No, I tell you. + +HAR. Yes, I tell you. + +ELI. You will never force me to do such a thing + +HAR. I will force you to it. + +ELI. I had rather kill myself than marry such a man. + +HAR. You will not kill yourself, and you will marry him. But did you +ever see such impudence? Did ever any one hear a daughter speak in +such a fashion to her father? + +ELI. But did ever anyone see a father marry his daughter after such a +fashion? + +HAR. It is a match against which nothing can be said, and I am +perfectly sure that everybody will approve of my choice. + +ELI. And I know that it will be approved of by no reasonable person. + +HAR. (_seeing_ VALERE). There is Valere coming. Shall we make him +judge in this affair? + +ELI. Willingly. + +HAR. You will abide by what he says? + +ELI. Yes, whatever he thinks right, I will do. + +HAR. Agreed. + + + + +SCENE VII.--VALERE, HARPAGON, ELISE. + + +HAR. Valere, we have chosen you to decide who is in the right, my +daughter or I. + +VAL. It is certainly you, Sir. + +HAR. But have you any idea of what we are talking about? + +VAL. No; but you could not be in the wrong; you are reason itself. + +HAR. I want to give her to-night, for a husband, a man as rich as he +is good; and the hussy tells me to my face that she scorns to take +him. What do you say to that? + +VAL. What I say to it? + +HAR. Yes? + +VAL. Eh! eh! + +HAR. What? + +VAL. I say that I am, upon the whole, of your opinion, and that you +cannot but be right; yet, perhaps, she is not altogether wrong; +and.... + +HAR. How so? Mr. Anselme is an excellent match; he is a nobleman, and +a gentleman too; of simple habits, and extremely well off. He has no +children left from his first marriage. Could she meet with anything +more suitable? + +VAL. It is true. But she might say that you are going rather fast, and +that she ought to have at least a little time to consider whether her +inclination could reconcile itself to.... + +HAR. It is an opportunity I must not allow to slip through my fingers. +I find an advantage here which I should not find elsewhere, and he +agrees to take her without dowry. + +VAL. Without dowry? + +HAR. Yes. + +VAL. Ah! I have nothing more to say. A more convincing reason could +not be found; and she must yield to that. + +HAR. It is a considerable saving to me. + +VAL. Undoubtedly; this admits of no contradiction. It is true that +your daughter might represent to you that marriage is a more serious +affair than people are apt to believe; that the happiness or misery of +a whole life depends on it, and that an engagement which is to last +till death ought not to be entered into without great consideration. + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. That must of course decide everything. There are certainly people +who might tell you that on such occasions the wishes of a daughter are +no doubt to be considered, and that this great disparity of age, of +disposition, and of feelings might be the cause of many an unpleasant +thing in a married life. + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. Ah! it must be granted that there is no reply to that; who in the +world could think otherwise? I do not mean to say but that there are +many fathers who would set a much higher value on the happiness of +their daughter than on the money they may have to give for their +marriage; who would not like to sacrifice them to their own interests, +and who would, above all things, try to see in a marriage that sweet +conformity of tastes which is a sure pledge of honour, tranquillity +and joy; and that.... + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. That is true; nothing more can be said. Without dowry. How can +anyone resist such arguments? + +HAR. (_aside, looking towards the garden_). Ah! I fancy I hear a +dog barking. Is anyone after my money. (_To_ VALERE) Stop here, +I'll come back directly. + + + + +SCENE VIII.--ELISE, VALERE. + + +ELI. Surely, Valere, you are not in earnest when you speak to him in +that manner? + +VAL. I do it that I may not vex him, and the better to secure my ends. +To resist him boldly would simply spoil everything. There are certain +people who are only to be managed by indirect means, temperaments +averse from all resistance, restive natures whom truth causes to rear, +who always kick when we would lead them on the right road of reason, +and who can only be led by a way opposed to that by which you wish +them to go. Pretend to comply with his wishes; you are much more +likely to succeed in the end, and.... + +ELI. But this marriage, Valere? + +VAL. We will find some pretext for breaking it off. + +ELI. But what pretext can we find if it is to be concluded to-night? + +VAL. You must ask to have it delayed, and must feign some illness or +other. + +ELI. But he will soon discover the truth if they call in the doctor. + +VAL. Not a bit of it. Do you imagine that a doctor understands what he +is about? Nonsense! Don't be afraid. Believe me, you may complain of +any disease you please, the doctor will be at no loss to explain to +you from what it proceeds. + + + + +SCENE IX--HARPAGON, ELISE, VALERE. + + +HAR. (_alone, at the farther end of the stage_). It is nothing, +thank heaven! + +VAL. (_not seeing_ HARPAGON). In short, flight is the last +resource we have left us to avoid all this; and if your love, dear +Elise, is as strong as.... (_Seeing_ HARPAGON) Yes, a daughter is +bound to obey her father. She has no right to inquire what a husband +offered to her is like, and when the most important question, "without +dowry," presents itself, she should accept anybody that is given her. + +HAR. Good; that was beautifully said! + +VAL. I beg your pardon, Sir, if I carry it a little too far, and take +upon myself to speak to her as I do. + +HAR. Why, I am delighted, and I wish you to have her entirely under +your control. (_To_ ELISE) Yes, you may run away as much as you +like. I give him all the authority over you that heaven has given me, +and I will have you do all that he tells you. + +VAL. After that, resist all my expostulations, if you can. + + + + +SCENE X.-HARPAGON, VALERE. + + +VAL. I will follow her, Sir, if you will allow me, and will continue +the lecture I was giving her. + +HAR. Yes, do so; you will oblige me greatly. + +VAL. She ought to be kept in with a tight hand. + +HAR. Quite true, you must.... + +VAL. Do not be afraid; I believe I shall end by convincing her. + +HAR. Do so, do so. I am going to take a short stroll in the town, and +I will come back again presently. + +VAL. (_going towards the door through which_ ELISE _left, and +speaking as if it were to her_). Yes, money is more precious than +anything else in the world, and you should thank heaven that you have +so worthy a man for a father. He knows what life is. When a man offers +to marry a girl without a dowry, we ought to look no farther. +Everything is comprised in that, and "without dowry" compensates for +want of beauty, youth, birth, honour, wisdom, and probity. + +HAR. Ah! the honest fellow! he speaks like an oracle. Happy is he who +can secure such a servant! + + + + +ACT II. + +SCENE I.--CLEANTE, LA FLECHE. + + +CLE. How now, you rascal! where have you been hiding? Did I not give +you orders to...? + +LA FL. Yes, Sir, and I came here resolved to wait for you without +stirring, but your father, that most ungracious of men, drove me into +the street in spite of myself, and I well nigh got a good drubbing +into the bargain. + +CLE. How is our affair progressing? Things are worse than ever for us, +and since I left you, I have discovered that my own father is my +rival. + +LA FL. Your father in love? + +CLE. It seems so; and I found it very difficult to hide from him what +I felt at such a discovery. + +LA FL. He meddling with love! What the deuce is he thinking of? Does +he mean to set everybody at defiance? And is love made for people of +his build? + +CLE. It is to punish me for my sins that this passion has entered his +head. + +LA FL. But why do you hide your love from him? + +CLE. That he may not suspect anything, and to make it more easy for me +to fall back, if need be, upon some device to prevent this marriage. +What answer did you receive? + +LA FL. Indeed, Sir, those who borrow are much to be pitied, and we +must put up with strange things when, like you, we are forced to pass +through the hands of the usurers. + +CLE. Then the affair won't come off? + +LA FL. Excuse me; Mr. Simon, the broker who was recommended to us, is +a very active and zealous fellow, and says he has left no stone +unturned to help you. He assures me that your looks alone have won his +heart. + +CLE. Shall I have the fifteen thousand francs which I want? + +LA FL. Yes, but under certain trifling conditions, which you must +accept if you wish the bargain to be concluded. + +CLE. Did you speak to the man who is to lend the money? + +LA FL Oh! dear no. Things are not done in that way. He is still more +anxious than you to remain unknown. These things are greater mysteries +than you think. His name is not by any means to be divulged, and he is +to be introduced to you to-day at a house provided by him, so that he +may hear from yourself all about your position and your family; and I +have not the least doubt that the mere name of your father will be +sufficient to accomplish what you wish. + +CLE. Particularly as my mother is dead, and they cannot deprive me of +what I inherit from her. + +LA FL. Well, here are some of the conditions which he has himself +dictated to our go-between for you to take cognisance of, before +anything is begun. + +"Supposing that the lender is satisfied with all his securities, and +that the borrower is of age and of a family whose property is ample, +solid, secure, and free from all incumbrances, there shall be drawn up +a good and correct bond before as honest a notary as it is possible to +find, and who for this purpose shall be chosen by the lender, because +he is the more concerned of the two that the bond should be rightly +executed." + +CLE. There is nothing to say against that. + +LA FA. "The lender, not to burden his conscience with the least +scruple, does not wish to lend his money at more than five and a half +per cent." + +CLE. Five and a half per cent? By Jove, that's honest! We have nothing +to complain of, + +LA FL. That's true. + +"But as the said lender has not in hand the sum required, and as, in +order to oblige the borrower, he is himself obliged to borrow from +another at the rate of twenty per cent., it is but right that the said +first borrower shall pay this interest, without detriment to the rest; +since it is only to oblige him that the said lender is himself forced +to borrow." + +CLE. The deuce! What a Jew! what a Turk we have here! That is more +than twenty-five per cent. + +LA FL. That's true; and it is the remark I made. It is for you to +consider the matter before you act. + +CLE. How can I consider? I want the money, and I must therefore accept +everything. + +LA FL. That is exactly what I answered. + +CLE. Is there anything else? + +LA FL. Only a small item. + +"Of the fifteen thousand francs which are demanded, the lender will +only be able to count down twelve thousand in hard cash; instead of +the remaining three thousand, the borrower will have to take the +chattels, clothing, and jewels, contained in the following catalogue, +and which the said lender has put in all good faith at the lowest +possible figure." + +CLE. What is the meaning of all that? + +LA FL. I'll go through the catalogue:-- + +"Firstly:--A fourpost bedstead, with hangings of Hungary lace very +elegantly trimmed with olive-coloured cloth, and six chairs and a +counterpane to match; the whole in very good condition, and lined with +soft red and blue shot-silk. Item:--the tester of good pale pink +Aumale serge, with the small and the large fringes of silk." + +CLE. What does he want me to do with all this? + +LA FL. Wait. + +"Item:--Tapestry hangings representing the loves of Gombaud and Macee. +[Footnote: An old comic pastoral.] Item:--A large walnut table with +twelve columns or turned legs, which draws out at both ends, and is +provided beneath with six stools." + +CLE. Hang it all! What am I to do with all this? + +LA FL. Have patience. + +"Item:--Three large matchlocks inlaid with mother-of-pearl, with rests +to correspond. Item:--A brick furnace with two retorts and three +receivers, very useful to those who have any taste for distilling." + +CLE. You will drive me crazy. + +LA FL. Gently! + +"Item:--A Bologna lute with all its strings, or nearly all. Item:--A +pigeon-hole table and a draught-board, and a game of mother goose, +restored from the Greeks, most useful to pass the time when one has +nothing to do. Item:--A lizard's skin, three feet and a half in +length, stuffed with hay, a pleasing curiosity to hang on the ceiling +of a room. The whole of the above-mentioned articles are really worth +more than four thousand five hundred francs, and are reduced to the +value of a thousand crowns through the considerateness of the lender." + +CLE. Let the plague choke him with his considerateness, the wretch, +the cut-throat that he is! Did ever anyone hear of such usury? Is he +not satisfied with the outrageous interest he asks that he must force +me to take, instead of the three thousand francs, all the old rubbish +which he picks up. I shan't get two hundred crowns for all that, and +yet I must bring myself to yield to all his wishes; for he is in a +position to force me to accept everything, and he has me, the villain, +with a knife at my throat. + +LA FL. I see you, Sir, if you'll forgive my saying so, on the high-road +followed by Panurge [Footnote: The real hero in Rabelais' 'Pantagruel.'] +to ruin himself--taking money in advance, buying dear, selling cheap, +and cutting your corn while it is still grass. + +CLE. What would you have me do? It is to this that young men are +reduced by the accursed avarice of their fathers; and people are +astonished after that, that sons long for their death. + +LA FL. No one can deny that yours would excite against his meanness +the most quiet of men. I have not, thank God, any inclination gallows- +ward, and among my colleagues whom I see dabbling in various doubtful +affairs, I know well enough how to keep myself out of hot water, and +how to keep clear of all those things which savour ever so little of +the ladder; but to tell you the truth, he almost gives me, by his ways +of going on, the desire of robbing him, and I should think that in +doing so I was doing a meritorious action. + +CLE. Give me that memorandum that I may have another look at it. + + + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, MR. SIMON (CLEANTE _and_ LA FLECHE _at the +back of the stage_). + + +SIM. Yes, Sir; it is a young man who is greatly in want of money; his +affairs force him to find some at any cost, and he will submit to all +your conditions. + +HAR. But are you sure, Mr. Simon, that there is no risk to run in this +case? and do you know the name, the property, and the family of him +for whom you speak? + +SIM. No; I cannot tell you anything for certain, as it was by mere +chance that I was made acquainted with him; but he will tell you +everything himself, and his servant has assured me that you will be +quite satisfied when you know who he is. All I can tell you is that +his family is said to be very wealthy, that he has already lost his +mother, and that he will pledge you his word, if you insist upon it, +that his father will die before eight months are passed. + +HAR. That is something. Charity, Mr. Simon, demands of us to gratify +people whenever we have it in our power. + +SIM. Evidently. + +LA FL. (_aside to_ CLEANTE, _on recognising_ MR. SIMON). +What does this mean? Mr. Simon talking with your father! + +CLE. (_aside to_ LA FLECHE). Has he been told who I am, and would +you be capable of betraying me? + +SIM. (_to_ CLEANTE _and_ LA FLECHE). Ah! you are in good +time! But who told you to come here? (_To_ HARPAGON) It was +certainly not I who told them your name and address; but I am of +opinion that there is no great harm done; they are people who can be +trusted, and you can come to some understanding together. + +HAR. What! + +SIM. (_showing_ CLEANTE). This is the gentleman who wants to +borrow the fifteen thousand francs of which I have spoken to you. + +HAR. What! miscreant! is it you who abandon yourself to such excesses? + +CLE. What! father! is it you who stoop to such shameful deeds? + +(MR. SIMON _runs away, and_ LA FLECHE _hides himself_.) + + + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE. + + +HAR. It is you who are ruining yourself by loans so greatly to be +condemned! + +CLE. So it is you who seek to enrich yourself by such criminal usury! + +HAR. And you dare, after that, to show yourself before me? + +CLE. And you dare, after that, to show yourself to the world? + +HAR. Are you not ashamed, tell me, to descend to these wild excesses, +to rush headlong into frightful expenses, and disgracefully to +dissipate the wealth which your parents have amassed with so much +toil. + +CLE. Are you not ashamed of dishonouring your station by such +dealings, of sacrificing honour and reputation to the insatiable +desire of heaping crown upon crown, and of outdoing the most infamous +devices that have ever been invented by the most notorious usurers? + +HAR. Get out of my sight, you reprobate; get out of my sight! + +CLE. Who is the more criminal in your opinion: he who buys the money +of which he stands in need, or he who obtains, by unfair means, money +for which he has no use? + +HAR. Begone, I say, and do not provoke me to anger. (_Alone_) +After all, I am not very much vexed at this adventure; it will be a +lesson to me to keep a better watch over all his doings. + + + + +SCENE IV.--FROSINE, HARPAGON. + + +FRO. Sir. + +HAR. Wait a moment, I will come back and speak to you. (_Aside_) +I had better go and see a little after my money. + + + + +SCENE V.--LA FLECHE, FROSINE. + + +LA FL. (_without seeing_ FROSINE). The adventure is most comical. +Hidden somewhere he must have a large store of goods of all kinds, for +the list did not contain one single article which either of us +recognised. + +FRO. Hallo! is it you, my poor La Fleche? How is it we meet here? + +LA FL. Ah! ah! it is you, Frosine; and what have you come to do here? + +FRO. What have I come to do? Why! what I do everywhere else, busy +myself about other people's affairs, make myself useful to the +community in general, and profit as much as I possibly can by the +small talent I possess. Must we not live by our wits in this world? +and what other resources have people like me but intrigue and cunning? + +LA FL. Have you, then, any business with the master of this house? + +FRO. Yes. I am transacting for him a certain small matter for which he +is pretty sure to give me a reward. + +LA FL. He give you a reward! Ah! ah! Upon my word, you will be 'cute +if you ever get one, and I warn you that ready money is very scarce +hereabouts. + +FRO. That may be, but there are certain services which wonderfully +touch our feelings. + +LA FL. Your humble servant; but as yet you don't know Harpagon. +Harpagon is the human being of all human beings the least humane, the +mortal of all mortals the hardest and closest. There is no service +great enough to induce him to open his purse. If, indeed, you want +praise, esteem, kindness, and friendship, you are welcome to any +amount; but money, that's a different affair. There is nothing more +dry, more barren, than his favour and his good grace, and +"_give_" is a word for which be has such a strong dislike that he +never says _I give_, but _I lend, you a good morning_. + +FRO. That's all very well; but I know the art of fleecing men. I have +a secret of touching their affections by flattering their hearts, and +of finding out their weak points. + +LA FL. All useless here. I defy you to soften, as far as money is +concerned, the man we are speaking of. He is a Turk on that point, of +a Turkishness to drive anyone to despair, and we might starve in his +presence and never a peg would he stir. In short, he loves money +better than reputation, honour, and virtue, and the mere sight of +anyone making demands upon his purse sends him into convulsions; it is +like striking him in a vital place, it is piercing him to the heart, +it is like tearing out his very bowels! And if ... But here he comes +again; I leave you. + + + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, FROSINE. + + +HAR. (_aside_). All is as it should be. (_To_ FROSINE) Well, +what is it, Frosine? + +FRO. Bless me, how well you look! You are the very picture of health. + +HAR. Who? I? + +FRO. Never have I seen you looking more rosy, more hearty. + +HAR. Are you in earnest? + +FRO. Why! you have never been so young in your life; and I know many a +man of twenty-five who looks much older than you do. + +HAR. And yet, Frosine, I have passed threescore. + +FRO. Threescore! Well, and what then? You don't mean to make a trouble +of that, do you? It's the very flower of manhood, the threshold of the +prime of life. + +HAR. True; but twenty years less would do me no harm, I think. + +FRO. Nonsense! You've no need of that, and you are of a build to last +out a hundred. + +HAR. Do you really think so? + +FRO. Decidedly. You have all the appearance of it. Hold yourself up a +little. Ah! what a sign of long life is that line there straight +between your two eyes! + +HAR. You know all about that, do you? + +FRO. I should think I do. Show me your hand. [Footnote: Frosine +professes a knowledge of palmistry.] Dear me, what a line of life +there is there! + +HAR. Where? + +FRO. Don't you see how far this line goes? + +HAR. Well, and what does it mean? + +FRO. What does it mean? There ... I said a hundred years; but no, it +is one hundred and twenty I ought to have said. + +HAR. Is it possible? + +FRO. I tell you they will have to kill you, and you will bury your +children and your children's children. + +HAR. So much the better! And what news of our affair? + +FRO. Is there any need to ask? Did ever anyone see me begin anything +and not succeed in it? I have, especially for matchmaking, the most +wonderful talent. There are no two persons in the world I could not +couple together; and I believe that, if I took it into my head, I +could make the Grand Turk marry the Republic of Venice. [Footnote: Old +enemies. The Turks took Candia from the Venetians in 1669, after a war +of twenty years.] But we had, to be sure, no such difficult thing to +achieve in this matter. As I know the ladies very well, I told them +every particular about you; and I acquainted the mother with your +intentions towards Marianne since you saw her pass in the street and +enjoy the fresh air out of her window. + +HAR. What did she answer...? + +FRO. She received your proposal with great joy; and when I told her +that you wished very much that her daughter should come to-night to +assist at the marriage contract which is to be signed for your own +daughter, she assented at once, and entrusted her to me for the +purpose. + +HAR. You see, Frosine, I am obliged to give some supper to Mr. +Anselme, and I should like her to have a share in the feast. + +FRO. You are quite right. She is to come after dinner to pay a visit +to your daughter; then she means to go from here to the fair, and +return to your house just in time for supper. + +HAR. That will do very well; they shall go together in my carriage, +which I will lend them. + +FRO. That will suit her perfectly. + +HAR. But I say, Frosine, have you spoken to the mother about the dowry +she can give her daughter? Did you make her understand that under such +circumstances she ought to do her utmost and to make a great +sacrifice? For, after all, one does not marry a girl without her +bringing something with her. + +FRO. How something! She is a girl who will bring you a clear twelve +thousand francs a year? + +HAR. Twelve thousand francs a year? + +FRO. Yes! To begin with, she has been nursed and brought up with the +strictest notions of frugality. She is a girl accustomed to live upon +salad, milk, cheese, and apples, and who consequently will require +neither a well served up table, nor any rich broth, nor your +everlasting peeled barley; none, in short, of all those delicacies +that another woman would want. This is no small matter, and may well +amount to three thousand francs yearly. Besides this, she only cares +for simplicity and neatness; she will have none of those splendid +dresses and rich jewels, none of that sumptuous furniture in which +girls like her indulge so extravagantly; and this item is worth more +than four thousand francs per annum. Lastly, she has the deepest +aversion to gambling; and this is not very common nowadays among +women. Why, I know of one in our neighbourhood who lost at least +twenty thousand francs this year. But let us reckon only a fourth of +that sum. Five thousand francs a year at play and four thousand in +clothes and jewels make nine thousand; and three thousand francs which +we count for food, does it not make your twelve thousand francs? + +HAR. Yes, that's not bad; but, after all, that calculation has nothing +real in it. + +FRO. Excuse me; is it nothing real to bring you in marriage a great +sobriety, to inherit a great love for simplicity in dress, and the +acquired property of a great hatred for gambling? + +HAR. It is a farce to pretend to make up a dowry with all the expenses +she will not run into. I could not give a receipt for what I do not +receive; and I must decidedly get something. + +FRO. Bless me! you will get enough; and they have spoken to me of a +certain country where they have some property, of which you will be +master. + +HAR. We shall have to see to that. But, Frosine, there is one more +thing that makes me uneasy. The girl is young, you know; and young +people generally like those who are young like themselves, and only +care for the society of the young. I am afraid that a man of my age +may not exactly suit her taste, and that this may occasion in my +family certain complications that would in nowise be pleasant to me. + +FRO. Oh, how badly you judge her! This is one more peculiarity of +which I had to speak to you. She has the greatest detestation to all +young men, and only likes old people. + +HAR. Does she? + +FRO. I should like you to hear her talk on that subject; she cannot +bear at all the sight of a young man, and nothing delights her more +than to see a fine old man with a venerable beard. The oldest are to +her the most charming, and I warn you beforehand not to go and make +yourself any younger than you really are. She wishes for one sixty +years old at least; and it is not more than six months ago that on the +very eve of being married she suddenly broke off the match on learning +that her lover was only fifty-six years of age, and did not put on +spectacles to sign the contract. + +HAR. Only for that? + +FRO. Yes; she says there is no pleasure with a man of fifty-six; and +she has a decided affection for those who wear spectacles. + +HAR. Well, this is quite new to me. + +FRO. No one can imagine how far she carries this. She has in her room +a few pictures and engravings, and what do you imagine they are? An +Adonis, a Cephalus, a Paris, an Apollo? Not a bit of it! Fine +portraits of Saturn, of King Priam, of old Nestor, and of good father +Anchises on his son's shoulders. + +HAR. That's admirable. I should never have guessed such a thing; and I +am very pleased to hear that she has such taste as this. Indeed had I +been a woman, I should never have loved young fellows. + +FRO. I should think not. Fine trumpery indeed, these young men, for +any one to fall in love with. Fine jackanapes and puppies for a woman +to hanker after. I should like to know what relish anyone can find in +them? + +HAR. Truly; I don't understand it myself, and I cannot make out how it +is that some women dote so on them. + +FRO. They must be downright idiots. Can any one be in his senses who +thinks youth amiable? Can those curly-pated coxcombs be men, and can +one really get attached to such animals? + +HAR. Exactly what I say every day! With their effeminate voices, their +three little bits of a beard turned up like cat's whiskers, their tow +wigs, their flowing breeches and open breasts! + +FRO. Yes; they are famous guys compared with yourself. In you we see +something like a man. There is enough to satisfy the eye. It is thus +that one should be made and dressed to inspire love. + +HAR. Then you think I am pretty well? + +FRO. Pretty well! I should think so; you are charming, and your face +would make a beautiful picture. Turn round a little, if you please. +You could not find anything better anywhere. Let me see you walk. You +have a well-shaped body, free and easy, as it should be, and one which +gives no sign of infirmity. + +HAR. I have nothing the matter to speak of, I am thankful to say. It +is only my cough, which returns from time to time. [Footnote: Moliere +makes use even of his own infirmities. Compare act i. scene iii. This +cough killed him at last.] + +FRO. That is nothing, and coughing becomes you exceedingly well. + +HAR. Tell me, Frosine, has Marianne seen me yet? Has she not noticed +me when I passed by? + +FRO. No; but we have had many conversations about you. I gave her an +exact description of your person, and I did not fail to make the most +of your merit, and to show her what an advantage it would be to have a +husband like you. + +HAR. You did right, and I thank you very much for it. + +FRO. I have, Sir, a small request to make to you. I am in danger of +losing a lawsuit for want of a little money (HARPAGON _looks +grave_), and you can easily help me with it, if you have pity upon +me. You cannot imagine how happy she will be to see you. (HARPAGON +_looks joyful_.) Oh! how sure you are to please her, and how sure +that antique ruff of yours is to produce a wonderful effect on her +mind. But, above all, she will be delighted with your breeches +fastened to your doublet with tags; that will make her mad after you, +and a lover who wears tags will be most welcome to her. + +HAR. You send me into raptures, Frosine, by saying that. + +FRO. I tell you the truth, Sir; this lawsuit is of the utmost +importance for me. (HARPAGON _looks serious again_.) If I lose +it, I am for ever ruined; but a very small sum will save me. I should +like you to have seen the happiness she felt when I spoke of you to +her. (HARPAGON _looks pleased again_.) Joy sparkled in her eyes +while I told her of all your good qualities; and I succeeded, in +short, in making her look forward with the greatest impatience to the +conclusion of the match. + +HAR. You have given me great pleasure, Frosine, and I assure you I.... + +FRO. I beg of you, Sir, to grant me the little assistance I ask of +you. (HARPAGON _again looks grave_.) It will put me on my feet +again, and I shall feel grateful to you for ever. + +HAR. Good-bye; I must go and finish my correspondence. + +FRO. I assure you, Sir, that you could not help me in a more pressing +necessity. + +HAR. I will see that my carriage is ready to take you to the fair. + +FRO. I would not importune you so if I were not compelled by +necessity. + +HAR. And I will see that we have supper early, so that nobody may be +ill. + +FRO. Do not refuse me the service; I beg of you. You can hardly +believe, Sir, the pleasure that.... + +HAR. I must go; somebody is calling me. We shall see each other again +by and by. + +FRO. (_alone_). May the fever seize you, you stingy cur, and send +you to the devil and his angels! The miser has held out against all my +attacks; but I must not drop the negotiation; for I have the other +side, and there, at all events, I am sure of a good reward. + + + + +ACT III. + +SCENE I.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, ELISE, VALERE; DAME CLAUDE (_holding a +broom_), MASTER JACQUES, LA MERLUCHE, BRINDAVOINE. + + +HAR. Here, come here, all of you; I must give you orders for by and +by, and arrange what each one will have to do. Come nearer, Dame +Claude; let us begin with you. (_Looking at her broom._) Good; +you are ready armed, I see. To you I commit the care of cleaning up +everywhere; but, above all, be very careful not to rub the furniture +too hard, for fear of wearing it out. Besides this, I put the bottles +under your care during supper, and if any one of them is missing, or +if anything gets broken, you will be responsible for it, and pay it +out of your wages. + +JAC. (_aside_). A shrewd punishment that. + +HAR. (_to_ DAME CLAUDE.) Now you may go. + + + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, ELISE, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES, +BRINDAVOINE, LA MERLUCHE. + + +HAR. To you, Brindavoine, and to you, La Merluche, belongs the duty of +washing the glasses, and of giving to drink, but only when people are +thirsty, and not according to the custom of certain impertinent +lackeys, who urge them to drink, and put the idea into their heads +when they are not thinking about it. Wait until you have been asked +several times, and remember always to have plenty of water. + +JAC. (_aside_). Yes; wine without water gets into one's head. + +LA MER. Shall we take off our smocks, Sir? + +HAR. Yes, when you see the guests coming; but be very careful not to +spoil your clothes. + +BRIND. You know, Sir, that one of the fronts of my doublet is covered +with a large stain of oil from the lamp. + +LA MER. And I, Sir, that my breeches are all torn behind, and that, +saving your presence.... + +HAR. (_to_ LA MERLUCHE). Peace! Turn carefully towards the wall, +and always face the company. (_To_ BRINDAVOINE, _showing him +how he is to hold his hat before his doublet, to hide the stain of +oil_) And you, always hold your hat in this fashion when you wait +on the guests. + + + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON; CLEANTE, ELISE, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +HAR. As for you, my daughter, you will look after all that is cleared +off the table, and see that nothing is wasted: this care is very +becoming to young girls. Meanwhile get ready to welcome my lady-love, +who is coming this afternoon to pay you a visit, and will take you off +to the fair with her. Do you understand what I say? + +ELI. Yes, father. + + + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +HAR. And you, my young dandy of a son to whom I have the kindness of +forgiving what happened this morning, mind you don't receive her +coldly, or show her a sour face. + +CLE. Receive her coldly! And why should I? + +HAR. Why? why? We know pretty well the ways of children whose fathers +marry again, and the looks they give to those we call stepmothers. But +if you wish me to forget your last offence, I advise you, above all +things, to receive her kindly, and, in short, to give her the +heartiest welcome you can. + +CLE. To speak the truth, father, I cannot promise you that I am very +happy to see her become my stepmother; but as to receiving her +properly, and as to giving her a kind welcome, I promise to obey you +in that to the very letter. + +HAR. Be careful you do, at least. + +CLE. You will see that you have no cause to complain. + +HAR. You will do wisely. + + + + +SCENE V.--HARPAGON, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +HAR. Valere, you will have to give me your help in this business. Now, +Master Jacques, I kept you for the last. + +JAC. Is it to your coachman, Sir, or to your cook you want to speak, +for I am both the one and the other? + +HAR. To both. + +JAC. But to which of the two first? + +HAR. To the cook. + +JAC. Then wait a minute, if you please. + +(JACQUES _takes off his stable-coat and appears dressed as a +cook_.) + +HAR. What the deuce is the meaning of this ceremony? + +JAC. Now I am at your service. + +HAR. I have engaged myself, Master Jacques, to give a supper to-night. + +JAC. (_aside_). Wonderful! + +HAR. Tell me, can you give us a good supper? + +JAC. Yes, if you give me plenty of money. + +HAR. The deuce! Always money! I think they have nothing else to say +except money, money, money! Always that same word in their mouth, +money! They always speak of money! It's their pillow companion, money! + +VAL. Never did I hear such an impertinent answer! Would you call it +wonderful to provide good cheer with plenty of money? Is it not the +easiest thing in the world? The most stupid could do as much. But a +clever man should talk of a good supper with little money. + +JAC. A good supper with little money? + +VAL. Yes. + +JAC. (_to_ VALERE). Indeed, Mr. Steward, you will oblige me +greatly by telling me your secret, and also, if you like, by filling +my place as cook; for you keep on meddling here, and want to be +everything. + +HAR. Hold your tongue. What shall we want? + +JAC. Ask that of Mr. Steward, who will give you good cheer with little +money. + +HAR. Do you hear? I am speaking to you, and expect you to answer me. + +JAC. How many will there be at your table? + +HAR. Eight or ten; but you must only reckon for eight. When there is +enough for eight, there is enough for ten. + +VAL. That is evident. + +JAC. Very well, then; you must have four tureens of soup and five side +dishes; soups, entrees.... + +HAR. What! do you mean to feed a whole town? + +JAC. Roast.... + +HAR. (_clapping his hand on_ MASTER JACQUES' _mouth_). Ah! +Wretch! you are eating up all my substance. + +JAC. Entremets.... + +HAR. (_again putting his hand on_ JACQUES' _mouth_). More +still? + +VAL. (_to_ JACQUES). Do you mean to kill everybody? And has your +master invited people in order to destroy them with over-feeding? Go +and read a little the precepts of health, and ask the doctors if there +is anything so hurtful to man as excess in eating. + +HAR. He is perfectly right. + +VAL. Know, Master Jacques, you and people like you, that a table +overloaded with eatables is a real cut-throat; that, to be the true +friends of those we invite, frugality should reign throughout the +repast we give, and that according to the saying of one of the +ancients, "We must eat to live, and not live to eat." + +HAR. Ah! How well the man speaks! Come near, let me embrace you for +this last saying. It is the finest sentence that I have ever heard in +my life: "We must live to eat, and not eat to live." No; that isn't +it. How do you say it? + +VAL. That we must eat to live, and not live to eat. + +HAR. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES). Yes. Do you hear that? (_To_ +VALERE) Who is the great man who said that? + +VAL. I do not exactly recollect his name just now. + +HAR. Remember to write down those words for me. I will have them +engraved in letters of gold over the mantel-piece of my dining-room. + +VAL. I will not fail. As for your supper, you had better let me manage +it. I will see that it is all as it should be. + +HAR. Do so. + +JAC. So much the better; all the less work for me. + +HAR. (_to_ VALERE). We must have some of those things of which it +is not possible to eat much, and that satisfy directly. Some good fat +beans, and a pate well stuffed with chestnuts. + +VAL. Trust to me. + +HAR. Now, Master Jacques, you must clean my carriage. + +JAC. Wait a moment; this is to the coachman. (JACQUES _puts on his +coat_.) You say.... + +HAR. That you must clean my carriage, and have my horses ready to +drive to the fair. + +JAC. Your horses! Upon my word, Sir, they are not at all in a +condition to stir. I won't tell you that they are laid up, for the +poor things have got nothing to lie upon, and it would not be telling +the truth. But you make them keep such rigid fasts that they are +nothing but phantoms, ideas, and mere shadows of horses. + +HAR. They are much to be pitied. They have nothing to do. + +JAC. And because they have nothing to do, must they have nothing to +eat? It would be much better for them, poor things, to work much and +eat to correspond. It breaks my heart to see them so reduced; for, in +short, I love my horses; and when I see them suffer, it seems as if it +were myself. Every day I take the bread out of my own mouth to feed +them; and it is being too hard-hearted, Sir, to have no compassion +upon one's neighbour. + +HAR. It won't be very hard work to go to the fair. + +JAC. No, Sir. I haven't the heart to drive them; it would go too much +against my conscience to use the whip to them in the state they are +in. How could you expect them to drag a carriage? They have not even +strength enough to drag themselves along. + +VAL. Sir, I will ask our neighbour, Picard, to drive them; +particularly as we shall want his help to get the supper ready. + +JAC. Be it so. I had much rather they should die under another's hand +than under mine. + +VAL. Master Jacques is mightily considerate. + +JAC. Mr. Steward is mightily indispensable. + +HAR. Peace. + +JAC. Sir, I can't bear these flatteries, and I can see that, whatever +this man does, his continual watching after the bread, wine, wood, +salt, and candles, is done but to curry favour and to make his court +to you. I am indignant to see it all; and I am sorry to hear every day +what is said of you; for, after all, I have a certain tenderness for +you; and, except my horses, you are the person I like most in the +world. + +HAR. And I would know from you, Master Jacques, what it is that is +said of me. + +JAC. Yes, certainly, Sir, if I were sure you would not get angry with +me. + +HAR. No, no; never fear. + +JAC. Excuse me, but I am sure you will be angry. + +HAR. No, on the contrary, you will oblige me. I should be glad to know +what people say of me. + +JAC. Since you wish it, Sir, I will tell you frankly that you are the +laughing-stock of everybody; that they taunt us everywhere by a +thousand jokes on your account, and that nothing delights people more +than to make sport of you, and to tell stories without end about your +stinginess. One says that you have special almanacks printed, where +you double the ember days and vigils, so that you may profit by the +fasts to which you bind all your house; another, that you always have +a ready-made quarrel for your servants at Christmas time or when they +leave you, so that you may give them nothing. One tells a story how +not long since you prosecuted a neighbour's cat because it had eaten +up the remainder of a leg of mutton; another says that one night you +were caught stealing your horses' oats, and that your coachman,--that +is the man who was before me,--gave you, in the dark, a good sound +drubbing, of which you said nothing. In short, what is the use of +going on? We can go nowhere but we are sure to hear you pulled to +pieces. You are the butt and jest and byword of everybody; and never +does anyone mention you but under the names of miser, stingy, mean, +niggardly fellow and usurer. + +HAR. (_beating_ JACQUES). You are a fool, a rascal, a scoundrel, +and an impertinent wretch. + +JAC. There, there! Did not I know how it would be? You would not +believe me. I told you I should make you angry if I spoke the truth? + +HAR. Learn how to speak. + + + + +SCENE VI.--VALERE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +VAL. (_laughing_). Well, Master Jacques, your frankness is badly +rewarded, I fear. + +JAC. S'death! Mr. Upstart, you who assume the man of consequence, it +is no business of yours as far as I can see. Laugh at your own +cudgelling when you get it, and don't come here and laugh at mine. + +VAL. Ah! Master Jacques, don't get into a passion, I beg of you. + +JAC. (_aside_). He is drawing in his horns. I will put on a bold +face, and if he is fool enough to be afraid of me, I will pay him back +somewhat. (_To_ VALERE) Do you know, Mr. Grinner, that I am not +exactly in a laughing humour, and that if you provoke me too much, I +shall make you laugh after another fashion. (JACQUES _pushes_ +VALERE _to the farther end of the stage, threatening him_.) + +VAL. Gently, gently. + +JAC. How gently? And if it does not please me to go gently? + +VAL. Come, come! What are you about? + +JAC. You are an impudent rascal. + +VAL. Master Jacques.... + +JAC. None of your Master Jacques here! If I take up a stick, I shall +soon make you feel it. + +VAL. What do you mean by a stick? (_Drives back_ JACQUES _in +his turn_.) + +JAC. No; I don't say anything about that. + +VAL. Do you know, Mr. Conceit, that I am a man to give you a drubbing +in good earnest? + +JAC. I have no doubt of it. + +VAL. That, after all, you are nothing but a scrub of a cook? + +JAC. I know it very well. + +VAL. And that you don't know me yet? + +JAC. I beg your pardon. + +VAL. You will beat me, you say? + +JAC. I only spoke in jest. + +VAL. I don't like your jesting, and (_beating_ JACQUES) remember +that you are but a sorry hand at it. + +JAC. (_alone_). Plague take all sincerity; it is a bad trade. I +give it up for the future, and will cease to tell the truth. It is all +very well for my master to beat me; but as for that Mr. Steward, what +right has he to do it? I will be revenged on him if I can. + + + + +SCENE VII.--MARIANNE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +FRO. Do you know if your master is at home? + +JAC. Yes, he is indeed; I know it but too well. + +FRO. Tell him, please, that we are here. + + + + +SCENE VIII.--MARIANNE, FROSINE. + + +MAR. Ah! Frosine, how strange I feel, and how I dread this interview! + +FRO. Why should you? What can you possibly dread? + +MAR. Alas! can you ask me? Can you not understand the alarms of a +person about to see the instrument of torture to which she is to be +tied. + +FRO. I see very well that to die agreeably, Harpagon is not the +torture you would embrace; and I can judge by your looks that the fair +young man you spoke of to me is still in your thoughts. + +MAR. Yes, Frosine; it is a thing I do not wish to deny. The respectful +visits he has paid at our house have left, I confess, a great +impression on my heart. + +FRO. But do you know who he is? + +MAR. No, I do not. All I know is that he is made to be loved; that if +things were left to my choice, I would much rather marry him than any +other, and that he adds not a little to the horrible dread that I have +of the husband they want to force upon me. + +FRO. Oh yes! All those dandies are very pleasant, and can talk +agreeably enough, but most of them are as poor as church mice; and it +is much better for you to marry an old husband, who gives you plenty +of money. I fully acknowledge that the senses somewhat clash with the +end I propose, and that there are certain little inconveniences to be +endured with such a husband; but all that won't last; and his death, +believe me, will soon put you in a position to take a more pleasant +husband, who will make amends for all. + +MAR. Oh, Frosine! What a strange state of things that, in order to be +happy, we must look forward to the death of another. Yet death will +not fall in with all the projects we make. + +FRO. You are joking. You marry him with the express understanding that +he will soon leave you a widow; it must be one of the articles of the +marriage contract. It would be very wrong in him not to die before +three months are over. Here he is himself. + +MAR. Ah! dear Frosine, what a face! + + + + +SCENE IX.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, FROSINE. + + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). Do not be offended, fair one, if I come to +you with my glasses on. I know that your beauty is great enough to be +seen with the naked eye; but, still, it is with glasses that we look +at the stars, and I maintain and uphold that you are a star, the most +beautiful and in the land of stars. Frosine, she does not answer, +star, it seems to me, shows no joy at the sight of me. + +FRO. It is because she is still quite awe-struck, and young girls are +always shy at first, and afraid of showing what they feel. + +HAR. (_to_ FROSINE). You are right. (_To_ MARIANNE) My +pretty darling, there is my daughter coming to welcome you. + + + +SCENE X.--HARPAGON, ELISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE. + + +MAR. I am very late in acquitting myself of the visit I owed you. + +ELI. You have done what I ought to have done. It was for me to have +come and seen you first. + +HAR. You see what a great girl she is; but ill weeds grow apace. + +MAR. (_aside to_ FROSINE). Oh, what an unpleasant man! + +HAR. (_to_ FROSINE). What does my fair one say? + +FRO. That she thinks you perfect. + +HAR. You do me too much honour, my adorable darling. + +MAR. (_aside_). What a dreadful creature! + +HAR. I really feel too grateful to you for these sentiments. + +MAR. (_aside_). I can bear it no longer. + + + + +SCENE XI.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, CLEANTE, VALERE, FROSINE, +BRINDAVOINE. + + +HAR. Here is my son, who also comes to pay his respects to you. + +MAR. (_aside to_ FROSINE). Oh, Frosine! what a strange meeting! +He is the very one of whom I spoke to you. + +FRO. (_to_ MARIANNE). Well, that is extraordinary. + +HAR. You are surprised to see that my children can be so old; but I +shall soon get rid of both of them. + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). Madam, to tell you the truth, I little +expected such an event; and my father surprised me not a little when +he told me to-day of the decision he had come to. + +MAR. I can say the same thing. It is an unexpected meeting; and I +certainly was far from being prepared for such an event. + +CLE. Madam, my father cannot make a better choice, and it is a great +joy to me to have the honour of welcoming you here. At the same time, +I cannot say that I should rejoice if it were your intention to become +my stepmother. I must confess that I should find it difficult to pay +you the compliment; and it is a title, forgive me, that I cannot wish +you to have. To some this speech would seem coarse, but I feel that +you understand it. This marriage, Madam, is altogether repugnant to +me. You are not ignorant, now that you know who I am, how opposed it +is to all my own interests, and with my father's permission I hope you +will allow me to say that, if things depended on me, it would never +take place. + +HAR. (_aside_). What a very impertinent speech to make; and what +a confession to make to her! + +MAR. And as my answer, I must tell you that things are much the same +with me, and that, if you have any repugnance in seeing me your +stepmother, I shall have no less in seeing you my stepson. Do not +believe, I beg of you, that it is of my own will that this trouble has +come upon you. I should be deeply grieved to cause you the least +sorrow, and unless I am forced to it by a power I must obey, I give +you my word that, I will never consent to a marriage which is so +painful to you. + +HAR. She is right. A foolish speech deserves a foolish answer. I beg +your pardon, my love, for the impertinence of my son. He is a silly +young fellow, who has not yet learnt the value of his own words. + +MAR. I assure you that he has not at all offended me. I am thankful, +on the contrary, that he has spoken so openly. I care greatly for such +a confession from him, and if he had spoken differently, I should feel +much less esteem for him. + +HAR. It is very kind of you to excuse him thus. Time will make him +wiser, and you will see that his feelings will change. + +CLE. No, father, they will never change; and I earnestly beg of you, +Madam, to believe me. + +HAR. Did ever anybody see such folly? He is becoming worse and worse. + +CLE. Would you have me false to my inmost feelings? + +HAR. Again! Change your manners, if you please. + +CLE. Very well, since you wish me to speak differently. Allow me, +Madam, to take for a moment my father's place; and forgive me if I +tell you that I never saw in the world anybody more charming than you +are; that I can understand no happiness to equal that of pleasing you, +and that to be your husband is a glory, a felicity, I should prefer to +the destinies of the greatest princes upon earth. Yes, Madam, to +possess you is, in my mind, to possess the best of all treasures; to +obtain you is all my ambition. There is nothing I would not do for so +precious a conquest, and the most powerful obstacles.... + +HAR. Gently, gently, my son, if you please. + +CLE. These are complimentary words which I speak to her in your name. + +HAR. Bless me! I have a tongue of my own to explain my feelings, and I +really don't care for such an advocate as you... Here, bring us some +chairs. + +FRO. No; I think it is better for us to go at once to the fair, in +order to be back earlier, and have plenty of time for talking. + +HAR. (_to_ BRINDAVOINE). Have the carriage ready at once. + + + + +SCENE XII.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, CLEANTE, VALERE, FROSINE. + + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). I hope you will excuse me, my dear, but I +forgot to order some refreshments for you, before you went out. + +CLE. I have thought of it, father, and have ordered to be brought in +here some baskets of China oranges, sweet citrons, and preserves, +which I sent for in your name. + +HAR. (_aside, to_ VALERE). Valere! + +VAL. (_aside, to_ HARPAGON). He has lost his senses! + +CLE. You are afraid, father, that it will not be enough? I hope, +Madam, that you will have the kindness to excuse it. + +MAR. It was by no means necessary. + +CLE. Did you ever see, Madam, a more brilliant diamond than the one my +father has upon his finger? + +MAR. It certainly sparkles very much. + +CLE. (_taking the diamond off his father's finger_). You must see +it near. + +MAR. It is a beautiful one; it possesses great lustre. + +CLE. (_steps before_ MARIANNE, _who wants to restore it_). +No, Madam, it is in hands too beautiful; it is a present my father +gives you. + +HAR. I? + +CLE. Is it not true, father, that you wish her to keep it for your +sake? + +HAR. (_aside, to his son_). What? + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). A strange question indeed! He is making me +signs that I am to force you to accept it. + +MAR. I would not.... + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). I beg of you.... He would not take it back. + +HAR. (_aside_). I am bursting with rage! + +MAR. It would be.... + +CLE. (_still hindering_ MARIANNE _from returning it_). No; I +tell you, you will offend him. + +MAR. Pray.... + +CLE. By no means. + +HAR. (_aside_). Plague take.... + +CLE. He is perfectly shocked at your refusal. + +HAR. (_aside, to his son_). Ah! traitor! + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). You see he is in despair. + +HAR. (_aside, to his son, threatening him_). You villain! + +CLE. Really, father, it is not my fault. I do all I can to persuade +her to accept it; but she is obstinate. + +HAR. (_in a rage, aside to his son_). Rascal! + +CLE. You are the cause, Madam, of my father scolding me. + +HAR. (_aside, with the same looks_). Scoundrel! + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). You will make him ill; for goodness' sake, +hesitate no longer. + +FRO. (_to_ MARIANNE). Why so much ceremony? Keep the ring, since +the gentleman wishes you to. + +MAR. (_to_ HARPAGON). I will keep it now, Sir, in order not to +make you angry, and I shall take another opportunity of returning it +to you. + + + + +SCENE XIII.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, VALERE, FROSINE, BRINDAVOINE. + + +BRIND. Sir, there is a gentleman here who wants to speak to you. + +HAR. Tell him that I am engaged, and that I cannot see him to-day. + +BRIND. He says he has some money for you. + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). Pray, excuse me; I will come back directly. + + + + +SCENE XIV.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, CLEANTE, FROSINE, LA MERLUCHE. + + +LA MER. (_comes in running, and throws_ HARPAGON _down_). +Sir.... + +HAR. Oh! he has killed me. + +CLE. What's the matter, father? Have you hurt yourself? + +HAR. The wretch must have been bribed by some of my debtors to break +my neck. + +VAL. (_to_ HARPAGON). There is nothing serious. + +LA MER. (_to_ HARPAGON). I beg your pardon, Sir; I thought I had +better run fast to tell you.... + +HAR. What? + +LA MER. That your two horses have lost their shoes. + +HAR. Take them quickly to the smith. + +CLE. In the meantime, father, I will do the honours of the house for +you, and take this lady into the garden, where lunch will be brought. + + + + +SCENE XV.--HARPAGON, VALERE. + + +HAR. Valere, look after all this; and take care, I beseech you, to +save as much of it as you can, so that we may send it back to the +tradesman again. + +VAL. I will. + +HAR. (_alone_). Miscreant! do you mean to ruin me? + + + + +ACT IV. + +SCENE I.--CLEANTE, MARIANNE, ELISE, FROSINE. + + +CLE. Let us come in here; we shall be much better. There is no one +about us that we need be afraid of, and we can speak openly. + +ELI. Yes, Madam, my brother has told me of the love he has for you. I +know what sorrow and anxiety such trials as these may cause, and I +assure you that I have the greatest sympathy for you. + +MAR. I feel it a great comfort in my trouble to have the sympathy of a +person like you, and I entreat you, Madam, ever to retain for me a +friendship so capable of softening the cruelty of my fate. + +FRO. You really are both very unfortunate not to have told me of all +this before. I might certainly have warded off the blow, and not have +carried things so far. + +CLE. What could I do? It is my evil destiny which has willed it so. +But you, fair Marianne, what have you resolved to do? What resolution +have you taken? + +MAR. Alas! Is it in my power to take any resolution? And, dependent as +I am, can I do anything else except form wishes? + +CLE. No other support for me in your heart? Nothing but mere wishes? +No pitying energy? No kindly relief? No active affection? + +MAR. What am I to say to you? Put yourself in my place, and judge what +I can possibly do. Advise me, dispose of me, I trust myself entirely +to you, for I am sure that you will never ask of me anything but what +is modest and seemly. + +CLE. Alas! to what do you reduce me when you wish me to be guided +entirely by feelings of strict duty and of scrupulous propriety. + +MAR. But what would you have me do? Even if I were, for you, to divest +myself of the many scruples which our sex imposes on us, I have too +much regard for my mother, who has brought me up with great +tenderness, for me to give her any cause of sorrow. Do all you can +with her. Strive to win her. I give you leave to say and do all you +wish; and if anything depends upon her knowing the true state of my +feelings, by all means tell her what they are; indeed I will do it +myself if necessary. + +CLE. Frosine, dear Frosine, will you not help us? + +FRO. Indeed, I should like to do so, as you know. I am not naturally +unkind. Heaven has not given me a heart of flint, and I feel but too +ready to help when I see young people loving each other in all +earnestness and honesty. What can we do in this case? + +CLE. Try and think a little. + +MAR. Advise us. + +ELI. Invent something to undo what you have done. + +FRO. Rather a difficult piece of business. (_To_ MARIANNE) As far +as your mother is concerned, she is not altogether unreasonable and we +might succeed in making her give to the son the gift she reserved for +the father. (_To_ CLEANTE) But the most disheartening part of it +all is that your father is your father. + +CLE. Yes, so it is. + +FRO. I mean that he will bear malice if he sees that he is refused, +and he will be in no way disposed afterwards to give his consent to +your marriage. It would be well if the refusal could be made to come +from him, and you ought to try by some means or other to make him +dislike you, Marianne. + +CLE. You are quite right. + +FRO. Yes, right enough, no doubt. That is what ought to be done; but +how in the world are we to set about it? Wait a moment. Suppose we had +a somewhat elderly woman with a little of the ability which I possess, +and able sufficiently well to represent a lady of rank, by means of a +retinue made up in haste, and of some whimsical title of a marchioness +or viscountess, whom we would suppose to come from Lower Brittany. I +should have enough power over your father to persuade him that she is +a rich woman, in possession, besides her houses, of a hundred thousand +crowns in ready money; that she is deeply in love with him, and that +she would marry him at any cost, were she even to give him all her +money by the marriage contract. I have no doubt he would listen to the +proposal. For certainly he loves you very much, my dear, but he loves +money still better. When once he has consented to your marriage, it +does not signify much how he finds out the true state of affairs about +our marchioness. + +CLE. All that is very well made up. + +FRO. Leave it to me; I just remember one of my friends who will do +beautifully. + +CLE. Depend on my gratitude, Frosine, if you succeed. But, dear +Marianne, let us begin, I beg of you, by gaining over your mother; it +would be a great deal accomplished if this marriage were once broken +off. Make use, I beseech you, of all the power that her tenderness for +you gives you over her. Display without hesitation those eloquent +graces, those all-powerful charms, with which Heaven has endowed your +eyes and lips; forget not, I beseech you, those sweet persuasions, +those tender entreaties, those loving caresses to which, I feel, +nothing could be refused. + +MAR. I will do all I can, and will forget nothing. + + + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, FROSINE. + + +HAR. (aside, and without being seen). Ah! ah! my son is kissing the +hand of his intended stepmother, and his intended stepmother does not +seem much averse to it! Can there be any mystery in all this? + +ELI. Here comes my father. + +HAR. The carriage is quite ready, and you can start when you like. + +CLE. Since you are not going, father, allow me to take care of them. + +HAR. No, stop here; they can easily take care of themselves, and I +want you. + + + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE. + + +HAR. Well, now, all consideration of stepmother aside, tell me what do +you think of this lady? + +CLE. What I think of her? + +HAR. Yes, what do you think of her appearance, her figure, her beauty +and intelligence? + +CLE. So, so. + +HAR. But still? + +CLE. To tell you the truth, I did not find her such as I expected. Her +manner is that of a thorough coquette, her figure is rather awkward, +her beauty very middling, and her intelligence of the meanest order. +Do not suppose that I say this to make you dislike her; for if I must +have a stepmother, I like the idea of this one as well as of any +other. + +HAR. You spoke to her just now, nevertheless.... + +CLE. I paid her several compliments in your name, but it was to please +you. + +HAR. So then you don't care for her? + +CLE. Who? I? Not in the least. + +HAR. I am sorry for it, for that puts an end to a scheme which had +occurred to me. Since I have seen her here, I have been thinking of my +own age; and I feel that people would find fault with me for marrying +so young a girl. This consideration had made me determine to abandon +the project, and as I had demanded her in marriage, and had given her +my promise, I would have given her to you if it were not for the +dislike you have for her. + +CLE. To me? + +HAR. To you. + +CLE. In marriage? + +HAR. In marriage. + +CLE. It is true she is not at all to my taste; but, to please you, +father, I will bring myself to marry her, if you please. + +HAR. If I please! I am more reasonable than you think. I don't wish to +compel you. + +CLE. Excuse me! I will make an attempt to love her. + +HAR. No, no; a marriage cannot be happy where there is no love. + +CLE. That, my father, will, perhaps, come by and by, and it is said +that love is often the fruit of marriage. + +HAR. No, it is not right to risk it on the side of the man, and there +are some troublesome things I don't care to run the chance of. If you +had felt any inclination for her, you should have married her instead +of me, but as it is, I will return to my first intention and marry her +myself. + +CLE. Well, father, since things are so, I had better be frank with +you, and reveal our secret to you. The truth is that I have loved her +ever since I saw her one day on the promenade. I intended to ask you +today to let me marry her, and I was only deterred from it because you +spoke of marrying her, and because I feared to displease you. + +HAR. Have you ever paid her any visits? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. Many? + +CLE. Yes; considering how long we have been acquainted. + +HAR. You were well received. + +CLE. Very well, but without her knowing who I was; and that is why +Marianne was so surprised when she saw me today. + +HAR. Have you told her of your love, and of your intention of marrying +her? + +CLE. Certainly, and I also spoke a little to the mother on the +subject. + +HAR. Did she kindly receive your proposal for her daughter? + +CLE. Yes, very kindly. + +HAR. And does the daughter return your love? + +CLE. If I can believe appearances, she is certainly well disposed +towards me. + +HAR. (_aside_). Well! I am very glad to have found out this +secret; it is the very thing I wanted to know. (_To his son_) +Now, look here, my son, I tell you what. You will have, if you please, +to get rid of your love for Marianne, to cease to pay your attentions +to a person I intend for myself, and to marry very soon the wife I +have chosen for you. + +CLE. So, father, it is thus you deceive me! Very well, since things +are come to such a pass, I openly declare to you that I shall not give +up my love for Marianne. No! understand that henceforth there is +nothing from which I shall shrink in order to dispute her with you; +and if you have on your side the consent of the mother, perhaps I +shall have some other resources left to aid me. + +HAR. What, rascal! You dare to trespass on my grounds? + +CLE. It is you who trespass on mine. I was the first. + +HAR. Am I not your father, and do you not owe me respect? + +CLE. There are things in which children are not called upon to pay +deference to their fathers; and love is no respector of persons. + +HAR. My stick will make you know me better. + +CLE. All your threatenings are nothing to me. + +HAR. You will give up Marianne? + +CLE. Never! + +HAR. Bring me my stick. Quick, I say! my stick! + + + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +JAC. Hold! hold! Gentlemen, what does this mean? What are you thinking +of? + +CLE. I don't care a bit for it. + +JAC. (_to_ CLEANTE). Ah! Sir, gently. + +HAR. He dares to speak to me with such impudence as that! + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). Ah! Sir, I beg of you. + +CLE. I shall keep to it. + +JAC, (_to_ CLEANTE). What! to your father? + +HAR. Let me do it. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). What! to your son? To me it's different. + +HAR. I will make you judge between us, Master Jacques, so that you may +see that I have right on my side. + +JAC. Willingly. (_To_ CLEANTE) Go a little farther back. + +HAR. There is a young girl I love and want to marry, and the scoundrel +has the impudence to love her also, and wants to marry her in spite of +me. + +JAC. Oh! he is wrong. + +HAR. Is it not an abominable thing to see a son who does not shrink +from becoming the rival of his father? And is it not his bounden duty +to refrain from interfering with my love? + +JAC. You are quite right; stop here, and let me go and speak to him. + +CLE. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES, _who comes near him_). Very well; +if he wants to make you a judge between us, I have no objection. I +care little who it is, and I don't mind referring our quarrel to you. + +JAC. You do me great honour. + +CLE. I am in love with a young girl who returns my affection, and who +receives kindly the offer of my heart; but my father takes it into his +head to disturb our love by asking her in marriage. + +JAC. He certainly is wrong. + +CLE. Is it not shameful for a man of his age to think of marrying? I +ask you if it is right for him to fall in love? and ought he not now +to leave that to younger men? + +JAC. You are quite right; he is not serious; let me speak a word or +two to him. (_To_ HARPAGON) Really, your son is not so extravagant +as you think, and is amenable to reason. He says that he is conscious +of the respect he owes you, and that he only got angry in the heat of +the moment. He will willingly submit to all you wish if you will only +promise to treat him more kindly than you do, and will give him in +marriage a person to his taste. + +HAR. Ah! tell him, Master Jacques, that he will obtain everything from +me on those terms, and that, except Marianne, I leave him free to +choose for his wife whomsoever he pleases. + +JAC. Leave that to me. (_To_ CLEANTE) Really, your father is not +so unreasonable as you make him out to me; and he tells me that it is +your violence which irritated him. He only objects to your way of +doing things, and is quite ready to grant you all you want, provided +you will use gentle means and will give him the deference, respect, +and submission that a son owes to his father. + +CLE. Ah! Master Jacques, you can assure him that if he grants me +Marianne, he will always find me the most submissive of men, and that +I shall never do anything contrary to his pleasure. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). It's all right; he consents to what you +say. + +HARP. Nothing could be better. + +JAC. (_to_ CLEANTE). It's all settled; he is satisfied with your +promises. CLE. Heaven be praised! + +JAC. Gentlemen, you have nothing to do but to talk quietly over the +matter together; you are agreed now, and yet you were on the point of +quarrelling through want of understanding each other. + +CLE. My poor Jacques, I shall be obliged to you all my life. + +JAC. Don't mention it, Sir. + +HAR. You have given me great pleasure, Master Jacques, and deserve a +reward. (HARPAGON _feels in his pocket_, JACQUES _holds out his +hand, but_ HARPAGON _only pulls out his handkerchief, and +says_,) Go; I will remember it, I promise you. + +JAC. I thank you kindly, Sir. + + + + +SCENE V.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE. + + +CLE. I beg your pardon, father, for having been angry. + +HAR. It is nothing. + +CLE. I assure you that I feel very sorry about it. + +HAR. I am very happy to see you reasonable again. + +CLE. How very kind of you so soon to forget my fault. + +HAR. One easily forgets the faults of children when they return to +their duty. + +CLE. What! you are not angry with me for my extravagant behaviour? + +HAR. By your submission and respectful conduct you compel me to forget +my anger. + +CLE. I assure you, father, I shall for ever keep in heart the +remembrance of all your kindness. + +HAR. And I promise you that, in future, you will obtain all you like +from me. + +CLE. Oh, father! I ask nothing more; it is sufficient for me that you +give me Marianne. + +HAR. What? + +CLE. I say, father, that I am only too thankful already for what you +have done, and that when you give me Marianne, you give me everything. + +HAR. Who talks of giving you Marianne? + +CLE. You, father. + +HAR. I? + +CLE. Yes. + +HAR. What! is it not you who promised to give her up? + +CLE. I! give her up? + +HAR. Yes. + +CLE. Certainly not. + +HAR. Did you not give up all pretensions to her? + +CLE. On the contrary, I am more determined than ever to have her. + +HAR. What, scoundrel! again? + +CLE. Nothing can make me change my mind. + +HAR. Let me get at you again, wretch! + +CLE. You can do as you please. + +HAR. I forbid you ever to come within my sight. + +CLE. As you like. + +HAR. I abandon you. + +CLE. Abandon me. + +HAR. I disown you. + +CLE. Disown me. + +HAR. I disinherit you. + +CLE. As you will. + +HAR. I give you my curse. + +CLE. I want none of your gifts. + + + + +SCENE VI. CLEANTE, LA FLECHE. + + +LA FL. (_leaving the garden with a casket_). Ah! Sir, you are +just in the nick of time. Quick! follow me. + +CLE. What is the matter? + +LA FL. Follow me, I say. We are saved. + +CLE. How? + +LA FL. Here is all you want. + +CLE. What? + +LA FL. I have watched for this all day. + +CLE. What is it? + +LA FL. Your father's treasure that I have got hold of. + +CLE. How did you manage it? + +LA FL. I will tell you all about it. Let us be off. I can hear him +calling out. + + + + +SCENE VII.--HARPAGON, _from the garden, rushing in without his hat, +and crying_-- + + +Thieves! thieves! assassins! murder! Justice, just heavens! I am +undone; I am murdered; they have cut my throat; they have stolen my +money! Who can it be? What has become of him? Where is he? Where is he +hiding himself? What shall I do to find him? Where shall I run? Where +shall I not run? Is he not here? Who is this? Stop! (_To himself, +taking hold of his own arm_) Give me back my money, wretch.... +Ah...! it is myself.... My mind is wandering, and I know not where I +am, who I am, and what I am doing. Alas! my poor money! my poor money! +my dearest friend, they have bereaved me of thee; and since thou art +gone, I have lost my support, my consolation, and my joy. All is ended +for me, and I have nothing more to do in the world! Without thee it is +impossible for me to live. It is all over with me; I can bear it no +longer. I am dying; I am dead; I am buried. Is there nobody who will +call me from the dead, by restoring my dear money to me, or by telling +me who has taken it? Ah! what is it you say? It is no one. Whoever has +committed the deed must have watched carefully for his opportunity, +and must have chosen the very moment when I was talking with my +miscreant of a son. I must go. I will demand justice, and have the +whole of my house put to the torture--my maids and my valets, my son, +my daughter, and myself too. What a crowd of people are assembled +here! Everyone seems to be my thief. I see no one who does not rouse +suspicion in me. Ha! what are they speaking of there? Of him who stole +my money? What noise is that up yonder? Is it my thief who is there? +For pity's sake, if you know anything of my thief, I beseech you to +tell me. Is he hiding there among you? They all look at me and laugh. +We shall see that they all have a share in the robbery. Quick! +magistrates, police, provosts, judges, racks, gibbets, and +executioners. I will hang everybody, and if I do not find my money, I +will hang myself afterwards. + + + + +ACT V. + +SCENE I.--HARPAGON, A POLICE OFFICER. + + +OFF. Leave that to me. I know my business. Thank Heaven! this is not +the first time I have been employed in finding out thieves; and I wish +I had as many bags of a thousand francs as I have had people hanged. + +HAR. Every magistrate must take this affair in hand; and if my money +is not found, I shall call justice against justice itself. + +OFF. We must take all needful steps. You say there was in that +casket...? + +HAR. Ten thousand crowns in cash. + +OFF. Ten thousand crowns! + +HAR. Ten thousand crowns. + +OFF. A considerable theft. + +HAR. There is no punishment great enough for the enormity of the +crime; and if it remain unpunished, the most sacred things are no +longer secure. + +OFF. In what coins was that sum? + +HAR. In good louis d'or and pistoles of full weight. + +OFF. Whom do you suspect of this robbery? + +HAR. Everybody. I wish you to take into custody the whole town and +suburbs. + +OFF. You must not, if you trust me, frighten anybody, but must use +gentle means to collect evidence, in order afterwards to proceed with +more rigour for the recovery of the sum which has been taken from you. + + + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES. + + +JAC. (_at the end of the stage, turning back to the door by which he +came in_). I am coming back. Have his throat cut at once; have his +feet singed; put him in boiling water, and hang him up to the ceiling. + +HAR. What! Him who has robbed me? + +JAC. I was speaking of a sucking pig that your steward has just sent +me; and I want to have it dressed for you after my own fancy. + +HAR. This is no longer the question; and you have to speak of +something else to this gentleman. + +OFF. (_to_ JACQUES). Don't get frightened. I am not a man to +cause any scandal, and matters will be carried on by gentle means. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). Is this gentleman coming to supper with +you? + +OFF. You must, in this case, my good man, hide nothing from your +master. + +JAC. Indeed, Sir, I will show you all I know, and will treat you in +the best manner I possibly can. + +OFF. That's not the question. + +JAC. If I do not give as good fare as I should like, it is the fault +of your steward, who has clipped my wings with the scissors of his +economy. + +HAR. Rascal! We have other matters to talk about than your supper; and +I want you to tell me what has become of the money which has been +stolen from me. + +JAC. Some money has been stolen from you? + +HAR. Yes, you rascal! And I'll have you hanged if you don't give it me +back again. + +OFF. (_to_ HARPAGON). Pray, don't be hard upon him. I see by his +looks that he is an honest fellow, and that he will tell you all you +want to know without going to prison. Yes, my friend, if you confess, +no harm shall come to you, and you shall be well rewarded by your +master. Some money has been stolen from him, and it is not possible +that you know nothing about it. + +JAC. (_aside_). The very thing I wanted in order to be revenged +of our steward. Ever since he came here, he has been the favourite, +and his advice is the only one listened to. Moreover, I have forgotten +neither the cudgelling of to-day nor.... + +HAR. What are you muttering about there? + +OFF. (_to_ HARPAGON). Leave him alone. He is preparing himself to +satisfy you; I told you that he was an honest fellow. + +JAC. Sir, since you want me to tell you what I know, I believe it is +your steward who has done this. + +HAR. Valere? + +JAC. Yes. + +HAR. He who seemed so faithful to me! + +JAC. Himself. I believe that it is he who has robbed you. + +HAR. And what makes you believe it? + +JAC. What makes me believe it? + +HAR. Yes. + +JAC. I believe it...because I believe it. + +OFF. But you must tell us the proofs you have. + +HAR. Did you see him hanging about the place where I had put my money? + +JAC. Yes, indeed. Where was your money? + +HAR. In the garden. + +JAC. Exactly; I saw him loitering about in the garden; and in what was +your money? + +HAR. In a casket. + +JAC. The very thing. I saw him with a casket. + +HAR. And this casket, what was it like? I shall soon see if it is +mine. + +JAC. What it was like? + +HAR. Yes. + +JAC. It was like...like a casket. + +OFF. Of course. But describe it a little, to see if it is the same. + +JAC. It was a large casket. + +HAR. The one taken from me is a small one. + +JAC. Yes, small if you look at it in that way; but I call it large +because of what it contains. + +HAR. And what colour was it? + +JAC. What colour? + +OFF. Yes. + +JAC. Of a colour...of a certain colour.... Can't you help me to find +the word? + +HAR. Ugh! + +JAC. Red; isn't it? + +HAR. No, grey. + +JAC. Ha! yes, reddish-grey! That's what I meant. + +HAR. There is no doubt about it, it's my casket for certain. Write +down his evidence, Sir! Heavens! whom can we trust after that? We must +never swear to anything, and I believe now that I might rob my own +self. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). There he is coming back, Sir; I beg of you +not to go and tell him that it was I who let it all out, Sir. + + + + +SCENE III.-HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +HAR. Come, come near, and confess the most abominable action, the most +horrible crime, that was ever committed. + +VAL. What do you want, Sir? + +HAR. What, wretch! you do not blush for shame after such a crime? + +VAL. Of what crime do you speak? + +HAR. Of what crime I speak? Base villain, as if you did not know what +I mean! It is in vain for you to try to hide it; the thing is +discovered, and I have just heard all the particulars. How could you +thus abuse my kindness, introduce yourself on purpose into my house to +betray me, and to play upon me such an abominable trick? + +VAL. Sir, since everything is known to you, I will neither deny what I +have done nor will I try to palliate it. + +JAC. (_aside_). Oh! oh! Have I guessed the truth? + +VAL. I intended to speak to you about it, and I was watching for a +favourable opportunity; but, as this is no longer possible, I beg of +you not to be angry, and to hear my motives. + +HAR. And what fine motives can you possibly give me, infamous thief? + +VAL. Ah! Sir, I do not deserve these names. I am guilty towards you, +it is true; but, after all, my fault is pardonable. + +HAR. How pardonable? A premeditated trick, and such an assassination +as this! + +VAL. I beseech you not to be so angry with me. When you have heard all +I have to say, you will see that the harm is not so great as you make +it out to be. + +HAR. The harm not so great as I make it out to be! What! my heart's +blood, scoundrel! + +VAL. Your blood, Sir, has not fallen into bad hands. My rank is high +enough not to disgrace it, and there is nothing in all this for which +reparation cannot be made. + +HAR. It is, indeed, my intention that you should restore what you have +taken from me. + +VAL. Your honour, Sir, shall be fully satisfied. + +HAR. Honour is not the question in all this. But tell me what made you +commit such a deed? + +VAL. Alas! do you ask it? + +HAR. Yes, I should rather think that I do. + +VAL. A god, Sir, who carries with him his excuses for all he makes +people do: Love. + +HAR. Love? + +VAL. Yes. + +HAR. Fine love that! fine love, indeed! the love of my gold! + +VAL. No, Sir, it is not your wealth that has tempted me, it is not +that which has dazzled me; and I swear never to pretend to any of your +possessions, provided you leave me what I have. + +HAR. In the name of all the devils, no, I shall not leave it to you. +But did anyone ever meet with such villainy! He wishes to keep what he +has robbed me of! + +VAL. Do you call that a robbery? + +HAR. If I call that a robbery? A treasure like that! + +VAL. I readily acknowledge that it is a treasure, and the most +precious one you have. But it will not be losing it to leave it to me. +I ask you on my knees to leave in my possession this treasure so full +of charms; and if you do right, you will grant it to me. + +HAR. I will do nothing of the kind. What in the world are you driving +at? + +VAL. We have pledged our faith to each other, and have taken an oath +never to forsake one another. + +HAR. The oath is admirable, and the promise strange enough! + +VAL. Yes, we are engaged to each other for ever. + +HAR. I know pretty well how to disengage you, I assure you of that. + +VAL. Nothing but death can separate us. + +HAR. You must be devilishly bewitched by my money. + +VAL. I have told you already, Sir, that it is not self-interest which +has prompted me to what I have done. It was not that which prompted my +heart; a nobler motive inspired me. + +HAR. We shall hear presently that it is out of Christian charity that +he covets my money! But I will put a stop to all this, and justice, +impudent rascal, will soon give me satisfaction. + +VAL. You will do as you please, and I am ready to suffer all the +violence you care to inflict upon me, but I beg of you to believe, at +least, that if there is any harm done, I am the only one guilty, and +that your daughter has done nothing wrong in all this. + +HAR. I should think not! It would be strange, indeed, if my daughter +had a share in this crime. But I will have that treasure back again, +and you must confess to what place you have carried it off. [Footnote: +A good deal of the mystification is lost in the translation through +the necessity of occasionally putting _it_ for _casket_, and +_she_ for Elise.] + +VAL. I have not carried it off, and it is still in your house. + +HAR. (_aside_). O my beloved casket! (_To_ VALERE) My +treasure has not left my house? + +VAL. No, Sir. + +HAR. Well, then, tell me, have you taken any liberties with...? + +VAL. Ah! Sir, you wrong us both; the flame with which I burn is too +pure, too full of respect. + +HAR. (_aside_). He burns for my casket! + +VAL. I had rather die than show the least offensive thought: I found +too much modesty and too much purity for that. + +HAR. (_aside_). My cash-box modest! + +VAL. All my desires were limited to the pleasures of sight, and +nothing criminal has profaned the passion those fair eyes have +inspired me with. + +HAR. (_aside_). The fair eyes of my cash-box! He speaks of it as +a lover does of his mistress. + +VAL. Dame Claude knows the whole truth, and she can bear witness to +it. + +HAR. Hallo! my servant is an accomplice in this affair? + +VAL. Yes, Sir, she was a witness to our engagement; and it was after +being sure of the innocence of my love that she helped me to persuade +your daughter to engage herself to me. + +HAR. Ah! (_Aside_) Has the fear of justice made him lose his +senses? (_To_ VALERE) What rubbish are you talking about my +daughter? + +VAL. I say, Sir, that I found it most difficult to make her modesty +consent to what my love asked of her. + +HAR. The modesty of whom? + +VAL. Of your daughter; and it was only yesterday that she could make +up her mind to sign our mutual promise of marriage. + +HAR. My daughter has signed a promise of marriage? + +VAL. Yes, Sir, and I have also signed. + +HAR. O heavens! another misfortune! + +JAC. (_to the_ OFFICER). Write, Sir, write. + +HAR. Aggravation of misery! Excess of despair! (_To the_ OFFICER) +Sir, discharge your duty, and draw me up an indictment against him as +a thief and a suborner. + +JAC. As a thief and a suborner. + +VAL. These are names which I do not deserve, and when you know who I +am.... + + + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, ELISE, MARIANNE, VALERE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES, +THE POLICE OFFICER. + + +HAR. Ah! guilty daughter! unworthy of a father like me! is it thus +that you put into practice the lessons I have given you? You give your +love to an infamous thief, and engage yourself to him without my +consent! But you shall both be disappointed. (_To_ ELISE) Four +strong walls will answer for your conduct in the future; (_to_ +VALERE) and good gallows, impudent thief, shall do me justice for your +audacity. + +VAL. Your anger will be no judge in this affair, and I shall at least +have a hearing before I am condemned. + +HAR. I was wrong to say gallows; you shall be broken alive on the +wheel. + +ELI. (_kneeling to her father_). Ah! my father, be more merciful, +I beseech you, and do not let your paternal authority drive matters to +extremes. Do not suffer yourself to be carried away by the first +outburst of your anger, but give yourself time to consider what you +do. Take the trouble of inquiring about him whose conduct has offended +you. He is not what you imagine, and you will think it less strange +that I should have given myself to him, when you know that without him +you would long ago have lost me for ever. Yes, father, it is he who +saved me from the great danger I ran in the waters, and to whom you +owe the life of that very daughter who.... + +HAR. All this is nothing; and it would have been much better for me if +he had suffered you to be drowned rather than do what he has done. + +ELI. My father, I beseech you, in the name of paternal love, grant +me.... + +HAR. No, no. I will hear nothing, and justice must have its course. + +JAC. (_aside_). You shall pay me for the blows you gave me. + +FRO. What a perplexing state of affairs! + + + + +SCENE V.--ANSELME, HARPAGON, ELISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE, VALERE, THE +POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES. + + +ANS. What can have happened, Mr. Harpagon? You are quite upset. + +HAR. Ah, Mr. Anselme, you see in me the most unfortunate of men; and +you can never imagine what vexation and disorder is connected with the +contract you have come to sign! I am attacked in my property; I am +attacked in my honour; and you see there a scoundrel and a wretch who +has violated the most sacred rights, who has introduced himself into +my house as a servant in order to steal my money, and seduce my +daughter. + +VAL. Who ever thought of your money about which you rave? + +HAR. Yes; they have given each other a promise of marriage. This +insult concerns you, Mr. Anselme; and it is you who ought to be +plaintiff against him, and who at your own expense ought to prosecute +him to the utmost, in order to be revenged. + +ANS. It is not my intention to force anybody to marry me, and to lay +claim to a heart which has already bestowed itself; but as far as your +interests are concerned, I am ready to espouse them as if they were my +own. + +HAR. This is the gentleman, an honest commissary, who has promised +that he will omit nothing of what concerns the duties of his office. +(_To the_ OFFICER, _showing_ VALERE) Charge him, Sir, as he +ought to be, and make matters very criminal. + +VAL. I do not see what crime they can make of my passion for your +daughter, nor the punishment you think I ought to be condemned to for +our engagement; when it is known who I am.... + +HAR. I don't care a pin for all those stories, and the world is full, +nowadays, of those pretenders to nobility, of those impostors, who +take advantage of their obscurity and deck themselves out insolently +with the first illustrious name that comes into their head. + +VAL. Know that I am too upright to adorn myself with a name which is +not mine, and that all Naples can bear testimony to my birth! + +ANS. Softly! Take care of what you are about to say. You speak before +a man to whom all Naples is known, and who can soon see if your story +is true. + +VAL. (_proudly putting on his hat_). I am not the man to fear +anything; and if all Naples is known to you, you know who was Don +Thomas d'Alburci. + +ANS. Certainly; I know who he is, and few people know him better than +I do. + +HAR. I care neither for Don Thomas nor Don Martin. (_Seeing two +candles burning, he blows one out_.) + +ANS. Have patience and let him speak; we shall soon know what he has +to say of him. + +VAL. That it is to him that I owe my birth. + +ANS. To him? + +VAL. Yes. + +ANS. Nonsense; you are laughing. Try and make out a more likely story, +and don't pretend to shelter yourself under such a piece of imposture. + +VAL. Consider your words better before you speak; it is no imposture, +and I say nothing here that I cannot prove. + +ANS. What! You dare to call yourself the son of Don Thomas d'Alburci? + +VAL. Yes, I dare to do so; and I am ready to maintain the truth +against anyone, who ever he may be. + +ANS. This audacity is marvellous. Learn to your confusion that it is +now at least sixteen years ago since the man of whom you speak died in +a shipwreck at sea with his wife and children, when he was trying to +save their lives from the cruel persecutions which accompanied the +troubles at Naples, and which caused the banishment of several noble +families. VAL. Yes; but learn to your confusion that his son, seven +years of age, was, with a servant, saved from the wreck by a Spanish +vessel, and that this son is he who now speaks to you. Learn that the +captain of that ship, touched with compassion at my misfortune, loved +me; that he had me brought up as his own son, and that the profession +of arms has been my occupation ever since I was fit for it; that +lately I heard that my father is not dead, as I thought he was; that, +passing this way to go and find him out, an accident, arranged by +heaven, brought to my sight the charming Elise; that the sight of her +made me a slave to her beauty, and that the violence of my love and +the harshness of her father made me take the resolution to come into +his house disguised as a servant, and to send some one else to look +after my parents. + +ANS. But what other proofs have you besides your own words that all +this is not a fable based by you upon truth. + +VAL. What proofs? The captain of the Spanish vessel; a ruby seal which +belonged to my father; an agate bracelet which my mother put upon my +arm; and old Pedro, that servant who was saved with me from the wreck. + +MAR. Alas! I can answer here for what you have said; that you do not +deceive us; and all you say clearly tells me that you are my brother. + +VAL. You my sister! + +MAR. Yes, my heart was touched as soon as you began to speak; and our +mother, who will be delighted at seeing you, often told me of the +misfortunes of our family. Heaven spared us also in that dreadful +wreck; but our life was spared at the cost of our liberty, for my +mother and myself were taken up by pirates from the wreck of our +vessel. After ten years of slavery a lucky event gave us back to +liberty, and we returned to Naples, where we found all our property +sold, and could hear no news of our father. We embarked for Genoa, +where my mother went to gather what remained of a family estate which +had been much disputed. Leaving her unjust relatives, she came here, +where she has lived but a weary life. + +ANS. O heaven! how wonderful are thy doings, and how true it is that +it only belongs to thee to work miracles! Come to my arms, my +children, and share the joy of your happy father! + +VAL. You are our father? + +MAR. It was for you that my mother wept? + +ANS. Yes, my daughter; yes, my son; I am Don Thomas d'Alburci, whom +heaven saved from the waves, with all the money he had with him, and +who, after sixteen years, believing you all dead, was preparing, after +long journeys, to seek the consolations of a new family in marrying a +gentle and virtuous woman. The little security there was for my life +in Naples has made me abandon the idea of returning there, and having +found the means of selling what I had, I settled here under the name +of Anselme. I wished to forget the sorrows of a name associated with +so many and great troubles. + +HAR. (_to_ ANSELME). He is your son? + +ANS. Yes. + +HAR. That being so, I make you responsible for the ten thousand crowns +that he has stolen from me. + +ANS. He steal anything from you! + +HAR. Yes. + +VAL. Who said so? + +HAR. Master Jacques. + +VAL. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES). You say that? + +JAC. You see that I am not saying anything. + +HAR. He certainly did. There is the officer who has received his +deposition. + +VAL. Can you really believe me capable of such a base action? + +HAR. Capable or not capable, I must find my money. + + + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ANSELME, ELISE, MARIANNE, CLEANTE, VALERE, +FROSINE, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES, LA FLECHE. + + +CLE. Do not grieve for your money, father, and accuse any one. I have +news of it, and I come here to tell you that if you consent to let me +marry Marianne, your money will be given back to you. + +HAR. Where is it? + +CLE. Do not trouble yourself about that. It is in a safe place, and I +answer for it; everything depends on your resolve. It is for you to +decide, and you have the choice either of losing Marianne or your +cash-box. + +HAR. Has nothing been taken out? + +CLE. Nothing at all. Is it your intention to agree to this marriage, +and to join your consent to that of her mother, who leaves her at +liberty to do as she likes? + +MAR. (_to_ CLEANTE). But you do not know that this consent is no +longer sufficient, and that heaven has given me back a brother +(_showing_ VALERE), at the same time that it has given me back a +father (_showing_ ANSELME); and you have now to obtain me from +him. + +ANS. Heaven, my dear children, has not restored you to me that I might +oppose your wishes. Mr. Harpagon, you must be aware that the choice of +a young girl is more likely to fall upon the son than upon the father. +Come, now, do not force people to say to you what is unnecessary, and +consent, as I do, to this double marriage. + +HAR. In order for me to be well advised, I must see my casket. + +CLE. You shall see it safe and sound. + +HAR. I have no money to give my children in marriage. + +ANS. Never mind, I have some; do not let this trouble you. + +HAR. Do you take upon yourself to defray the expenses of these two +weddings? + +ANS. Yes, I will take this responsibility upon myself. Are you +satisfied? + +HAR. Yes, provided you order me a new suit of clothes for the wedding. + +ANS. Agreed! Let us go and enjoy the blessings this happy day brings +us. + +OFF. Stop, Sirs, stop; softly, if you please. Who is to pay me for my +writing? + +HAR. We have nothing to do with your writing. + +OFF. Indeed! and yet I do not pretend to have done it for nothing. + +HAR. (_showing_ MASTER JACQUES). There is a fellow you can hang +in payment! + +JAC. Alas! what is one to do? I receive a good cudgelling for telling +the truth, and now they would hang me for lying. + +ANS. Mr. Harpagon, you must forgive him this piece of imposture. + +HAR. You will pay the officer then? + +ANS. Let it be so. Let us go quickly, my children, to share our joy +with your mother! + +HAR. 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Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: The Miser + +Author: Jean-Baptiste Poquelin + +Release Date: November, 2004 [EBook #6923] +[This file was first posted on February 11, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO Latin-1 + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE MISER *** + + + + +Delphine Lettau and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + +THE MISER. (L'AVARE.) + +BY + +MOLIÈRE + + +TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH PROSE + +_WITH A SHORT INTRODUCTION AND EXPLANATORY NOTES._ + +BY + +CHARLES HERON WALL + + + +This play was acted for the first time on September 9, 1668. In it, +Molière has borrowed from Plautus, and has imitated several other +authors, but he far surpasses them in the treatment of his subject. +The picture of the miser, in whom love of money takes the place of all +natural affections, who not only withdraws from family intercourse, +but considers his children as natural enemies, is finely drawn, and +renders Molière's Miser altogether more dramatic and moral than those +of his predecessors. + +Molière acted the part of Harpagon. + + + + +PERSONS REPRESENTED. + + +HARPAGON, _father to_ CLÉANTE, _in love with_ MARIANNE. + +CLÉANTE, HARPAGON'S _son, lover to_ MARIANNE. + +VALÈRE, _son to_ ANSELME, _and lover to_ ÉLISE. + +ANSELME, _father to_ VALÈRE _and_ MARIANNE. + +MASTER SIMON, _broker_. + +MASTER JACQUES, _cook and coachman to_ HARPAGON. + +LA FLÈCHE, _valet to_ CLÉANTE. + +BRINDAVOINE, and LA MERLUCHE, _lackeys to_ HARPAGON. + +A MAGISTRATE _and his_ CLERK. + +ÉLISE, _daughter to_ HARPAGON. + +MARIANNE, _daughter to_ ANSELME. + +FROSINE, _an intriguing woman_. + +MISTRESS CLAUDE, _servant to_ HARPAGON. + + * * * * * + +_The scene is at_ PARIS, _in_ HARPAGON'S _house_. + + + + +THE MISER. + + + +ACT I. + +SCENE I.--VALÈRE, ÉLISE. + + +VAL. What, dear Élise! you grow sad after having given me such dear +tokens of your love; and I see you sigh in the midst of my joy! Can +you regret having made me happy? and do you repent of the engagement +which my love has forced from you? + +ELI. No, Valère, I do not regret what I do for you; I feel carried on +by too delightful a power, and I do not even wish that things should +be otherwise than they are. Yet, to tell you the truth, I am very +anxious about the consequences; and I greatly fear that I love you +more than I should. + +VAL. What can you possibly fear from the affection you have shown me? + +ELI. Everything; the anger of my father, the reproaches of my family, +the censure of the world, and, above all, Valère, a change in your +heart! I fear that cruel coldness with which your sex so often repays +the too warm proofs of an innocent love. + +VAL. Alas! do not wrong me thus; do not judge of me by others. Think +me capable of everything, Élise, except of falling short of what I owe +to you. I love you too much for that; and my love will be as lasting +as my life! + +ELI. Ah! Valère, all men say the same thing; all men are alike in +their words; their actions only show the difference that exists +between them. + +VAL. Then why not wait for actions, if by them alone you can judge of +the truthfulness of my heart? Do not suffer your anxious fears to +mislead you, and to wrong me. Do not let an unjust suspicion destroy +the happiness which is to me dearer than life; but give me time to +show you by a thousand proofs the sincerity of my affection. + +ELI. Alas! how easily do we allow ourselves to be persuaded by those +we love. I believe you, Valère; I feel sure that your heart is utterly +incapable of deceiving me, that your love is sincere, and that you +will ever remain faithful to me. I will no longer doubt that happiness +is near. If I grieve, it will only be over the difficulties of our +position, and the possible censures of the world. + +VAL. But why even this fear? + +ELI. Oh, Valère! if everybody knew you as I do, I should not have much +to fear. I find in you enough to justify all I do for you; my heart +knows all your merit, and feels, moreover, bound to you by deep +gratitude. How can I forget that horrible moment when we met for the +first time? Your generous courage in risking your own life to save +mine from the fury of the waves; your tender care afterwards; your +constant attentions and your ardent love, which neither time nor +difficulties can lessen! For me you neglect your parents and your +country; you give up your own position in life to be a servant of my +father! How can I resist the influence that all this has over me? Is +it not enough to justify in my eyes my engagement to you? Yet, who +knows if it will be enough to justify it in the eyes of others? and +how can I feel sure that my motives will be understood? + +VAL. You try in vain to find merit in what I have done; it is by my +love alone that I trust to deserve you. As for the scruples you feel, +your father himself justifies you but too much before the world; and +his avarice and the distant way in which he lives with his children +might authorise stranger things still. Forgive me, my dear Élise, for +speaking thus of your father before you; but you know that, +unfortunately, on this subject no good can be said of him. However, if +I can find my parents, as I fully hope I shall, they will soon be +favourable to us. I am expecting news of them with great impatience; +but if none comes I will go in search of them myself. + +ELI. Oh no! Valère, do not leave me, I entreat you. Try rather to +ingratiate yourself in my father's favour. + +VAL. You know how much I wish it, and you can see how I set about it. +You know the skilful manoeuvres I have had to use in order to +introduce myself into his service; under what a mask of sympathy and +conformity of tastes I disguise my own feelings to please him; and +what a part I play to acquire his affection. I succeed wonderfully +well, and I feel that to obtain favour with men, there are no better +means than to pretend to be of their way of thinking, to fall in with +their maxims, to praise their defects, and to applaud all their +doings. One need not fear to overdo it, for however gross the +flattery, the most cunning are easily duped; there is nothing so +impertinent or ridiculous which they will not believe, provided it be +well seasoned with praise. Honesty suffers, I acknowledge; but when we +have need of men, we may be allowed without blame to adapt ourselves +to their mode of thought; and if we have no other hope of success but +through such stratagem, it is not after all the fault of those who +flatter, but the fault of those who wish to be flattered. + +ELI. Why do you not try also to gain my brother's goodwill, in case +the servant should betray our secret? + +VAL. I am afraid I cannot humour them both. The temper of the father +is so different from that of the son that it would be difficult to be +the confidant of both at the same time. Rather try your brother +yourself; make use of the love that exists between you to enlist him +in our cause. I leave you, for I see him coming. Speak to him, sound +him, and see how far we can trust him. + +ELI. I greatly fear I shall never have the courage to speak to him of +my secret. + + + + +SCENE II.--CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, + + +CLE. I am very glad to find you alone, sister. I longed to speak to +you and to tell you a secret. + +ELI. I am quite ready to hear you, brother. What is it you have to +tell me? + +CLE. Many things, sister, summed up in one word--love. + +ELI. You love? + +CLE. Yes, I love. But, before I say more, let me tell you that I know +I depend on my father, and that the name of son subjects me to his +will; that it would be wrong to engage ourselves without the consent +of the authors of our being; that heaven has made them the masters of +our affections, and that it is our duty not to dispose of ourselves +but in accordance to their wish; that their judgment is not biassed by +their being in love themselves; that they are, therefore, much more +likely not to be deceived by appearances, and to judge better what is +good for us; that we ought to trust their experience rather than the +passion which blinds us; and that the rashness of youth often carries +us to the very brink of dangerous abysses. I know all this, my sister, +and I tell it you to spare you the trouble of saying it to me, for my +love will not let me listen to anything, and I pray you to spare me +your remonstrances. + +ELI. Have you engaged yourself, brother, to her you love? + +CLE. No, but I have determined to do so; and I beseech you once more +not to bring forward any reason to dissuade me from it. + +ELI. Am I such a very strange person, brother? + +CLE. No, dear sister; but you do not love. You know not the sweet +power that love has upon our hearts; and I dread your wisdom. + +ELI. Alas! my brother, let us not speak of my wisdom. There are very +few people in this world who do not lack wisdom, were it only once in +their lifetime; and if I opened my heart to you, perhaps you would +think me less wise than you are yourself. + +CLE. Ah! would to heaven that your heart, like mine.... + +ELI. Let us speak of you first, and tell me whom it is you love. + +CLE. A young girl who has lately come to live in our neighbourhood, +and who seems made to inspire love in all those who behold her. +Nature, my dear sister, has made nothing more lovely; and I felt +another man the moment I saw her. Her name is Marianne, and she lives +with a good, kind mother, who is almost always ill, and for whom the +dear girl shows the greatest affection. She waits upon her, pities and +comforts her with a tenderness that would touch you to the very soul. +Whatever she undertakes is done in the most charming way; and in all +her actions shine a wonderful grace, a most winning gentleness, an +adorable modesty, a ... ah! my sister, how I wish you had but seen +her. + +ELI. I see many things in what you tell me, dear brother; and it is +sufficient for me to know that you love her for me to understand what +she is. + +CLE. I have discovered, without their knowing it, that they are not in +very good circumstances, and that, although they live with the +greatest care, they have barely enough to cover their expenses. Can +you imagine, my sister, what happiness it must be to improve the +condition of those we love; skilfully to bring about some relief to +the modest wants of a virtuous family? And think what grief it is for +me to find myself deprived of this great joy through the avarice of a +father, and for it to be impossible for me to give any proof of my +love to her who is all in all to me. + +ELI. Yes, I understand, dear brother, what sorrow this must be to you. + +CLE. It is greater, my sister, than you can believe. For is there +anything more cruel than this mean economy to which we are subjected? +this strange penury in which we are made to pine? What good will it do +us to have a fortune if it only comes to us when we are not able to +enjoy it; if now to provide for my daily maintenance I get into debt +on every side; if both you and I are reduced daily to beg the help of +tradespeople in order to have decent clothes to wear? In short, I +wanted to speak to you that you might help me to sound my father +concerning my present feelings; and if I find him opposed to them, I +am determined to go and live elsewhere with this most charming girl, +and to make the best of what Providence offers us. I am trying +everywhere to raise money for this purpose; and if your circumstances, +dear sister, are like mine, and our father opposes us, let us both +leave him, and free ourselves from the tyranny in which his hateful +avarice has for so long held us. + +ELI. It is but too true that every day he gives us more and more +reason to regret the death of our mother, and that.... + +CLE. I hear his voice. Let us go a little farther and finish our talk. +We will afterwards join our forces to make a common attack on his hard +and unkind heart. + + + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, LA FLÈCHE. + + +HAR. Get out of here, this moment; and let me have no more of your +prating. Now then, be gone out of my house, you sworn pickpocket, you +veritable gallows' bird. + +LA FL. (_aside_). I never saw anything more wicked than this +cursed old man; and I truly believe, if I may be allowed to say so, +that he is possessed with a devil. + +HAR. What are you muttering there between your teeth? + +LA FL. Why do you send me away? + +HAR. You dare to ask me my reasons, you scoundrel? Out with you, this +moment, before I give you a good thrashing. + +LA FL. What have I done to you? + +HAR. Done this, that I wish you to be off. + +LA FL. My master, your son, gave me orders to wait for him. + +HAR. Go and wait for him in the street, then; out with you; don't stay +in my house, straight and stiff as a sentry, to observe what is going +on, and to make your profit of everything. I won't always have before +me a spy on all my affairs; a treacherous scamp, whose cursed eyes +watch all my actions, covet all I possess, and ferret about in every +corner to see if there is anything to steal. + +LA FL. How the deuce could one steal anything from you? Are you a man +likely to be robbed when you put every possible thing under lock and +key, and mount guard day and night? + +HAR. I will lock up whatever I think fit, and mount guard when and +where I please. Did you ever see such spies as are set upon me to take +note of everything I do? (_Aside_) I tremble for fear he should +suspect something of my money. (_Aloud_) Now, aren't you a fellow +to give rise to stories about my having money hid in my house? + +LA FL. You have some money hid in your house? + +HAR. No, scoundrel! I do not say that. _(Aside)_ I am furious! +_(Aloud)_ I only ask if out of mischief you do not spread abroad +the report that I have some? + +LA FL. Oh! What does it matter whether you have money, or whether you +have not, since it is all the same to us? + +HAR. _(raising his hand to give LA FLÈCHE a blow)_. Oh! oh! You +want to argue, do you? I will give you, and quickly too, some few of +these arguments about your ears. Get out of the house, I tell you once +more. + +LA FL. Very well; very well. I am going. + +HAR. No, wait; are you carrying anything away with you? + +LA FL. What can I possibly carry away? + +HAR. Come here, and let me see. Show me your hands. + +LA FL. There they are. + +HAR. The others. + +LA FL. The others? + +HAR. Yes. + +LA FL. There they are. + +HAR. (_pointing to LA FLÈCHE'S breeches_). Have you anything hid +in here? + +LA FL. Look for yourself. + +HAR. (_feeling the knees of the breeches_). These wide knee- +breeches are convenient receptacles of stolen goods; and I wish a pair +of them had been hanged. + +LA FL. (_aside_). Ah! how richly such a man deserves what he +fears, and what joy it would be to me to steal some of his.... + +HAR. Eh? + +LA FL. What? + +HAR. What is it you talk of stealing? + +LA FL. I say that you feel about everywhere to see if I have been +stealing anything. + +HAR. And I mean to do so too. (_He feels in LA FLÈCHE'S +pockets_). + +LA FL. Plague take all misers and all miserly ways! + +HAR. Eh? What do you say? + +LA FL. What do I say? + +HAR. Yes. What is it you say about misers and miserly ways. + +LA FL. I say plague take all misers and all miserly ways. + +HAR. Of whom do you speak? + +LA FL. Of misers. + +HAR. And who are they, these misers? + +LA FL. Villains and stingy wretches! + +HAR. But what do you mean by that? + +LA FL. Why do you trouble yourself so much about what I say? + +HAR. I trouble myself because I think it right to do so. + +LA FL. Do you think I am speaking about you? + +HAR. I think what I think; but I insist upon your telling me to whom +you speak when you say that. + +LA FL. To whom I speak? I am speaking to the inside of my hat. + +HAR. And I will, perhaps, speak to the outside of your head. + +LA FL. Would you prevent me from cursing misers? + +HAR. No; but I will prevent you from prating and from being insolent. +Hold your tongue, will you? + +LA FL. I name nobody. + +HAR. Another word, and I'll thrash you. + +LA FL. He whom the cap fits, let him wear it. + +HAR. Will you be silent? + +LA FL. Yes; much against my will. + +HAR. Ah! ah! + +LA FL. (_showing_ HARPAGON _one of his doublet pockets_). +Just look, here is one more pocket. Are you satisfied? + +HAR. Come, give it up to me without all that fuss. + +LA FL. Give you what? + +HAR. What you have stolen from me. + +LA FL. I have stolen nothing at all from you. + +HAR. Are you telling the truth? + +LA FL. Yes. + +HAR. Good-bye, then, and now you may go to the devil. + +LA FL. (_aside_). That's a nice way of dismissing anyone. + +HAR. I leave it to your conscience, remember! + + + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON (_alone_.) + + +This rascally valet is a constant vexation to me; and I hate the very +sight of the good-for-nothing cripple. Really, it is no small anxiety +to keep by one a large sum of money; and happy is the man who has all +his cash well invested, and who needs not keep by him more than he +wants for his daily expenses. I am not a little puzzled to find in the +whole of this house a safe hiding-place. Don't speak to me of your +strong boxes, I will never trust to them. Why, they are just the very +things thieves set upon! + + + + +SCENE V.--_HARPAGON; ÉLISE and CLÉANTE are seen talking together at +the back of the stage._ + + +HAR. (_thinking himself alone_.) Meanwhile, I hardly know whether +I did right to bury in my garden the ten thousand crowns which were +paid to me yesterday. Ten thousand crowns in gold is a sum +sufficiently.... (_Aside, on perceiving_ ÉLISE _and_ CLÉANTE +_whispering together_) Good heavens! I have betrayed myself; my +warmth has carried me away. I believe I spoke aloud while reasoning +with myself. (_To_ CLÉANTE _and_ ÉLISE) What do you want? + +CLE. Nothing, father. + +HAR. Have you been here long? + +ELI. We have only just come. + +HAR. Did you hear...? + +CLE. What, father? + +HAR. There...! + +CLE. What? + +HAR. What I was just now saying. + +CLE. No. + +HAR. You did. I know you did. + +ELI. I beg your pardon, father, but we did not. + +HAR. I see well enough that you overheard a few words. The fact is, I +was only talking to myself about the trouble one has nowadays to raise +any money; and I was saying that he is a fortunate man who has ten +thousand crowns in his house. + +CLE. We were afraid of coming near you, for fear of intruding. + +HAR. I am very glad to tell you this, so that you may not misinterpret +things, and imagine that I said that it was I who have ten thousand +crowns. + +CLE. We do not wish to interfere in your affairs. + +HAR. Would that I had them, these ten thousand crowns! + +CLE. I should not think that.... + +HAR. What a capital affair it would be for me. + +CLE. There are things.... + +HAR. I greatly need them. + +CLE. I fancy that.... + +HAR. It would suit me exceedingly well. + +ELI. You are.... + +HAR. And I should not have to complain, as I do now, that the times +are bad. + +CLE. Dear me, father, you have no reason to complain; and everyone +knows that you are well enough off. + +HAR. How? I am well enough off! Those who say it are liars. Nothing +can be more false; and they are scoundrels who spread such reports. + +ELI. Don't be angry. + +HAR. It is strange that my own children betray me and become my +enemies. + +CLE. Is it being your enemy to say that you have wealth? + +HAR. Yes, it is. Such talk and your extravagant expenses will be the +cause that some day thieves will come and cut my throat, in the belief +that I am made of gold. + +CLE. What extravagant expenses do I indulge in? + +HAR. What! Is there anything more scandalous than this sumptuous +attire with which you jaunt it about the town? I was remonstrating +with your sister yesterday, but you are still worse. It cries +vengeance to heaven; and were we to calculate all you are wearing, +from head to foot, we should find enough for a good annuity. I have +told you a hundred times, my son, that your manners displease me +exceedingly; you affect the marquis terribly, and for you to be always +dressed as you are, you must certainly rob me. + +CLE. Rob you? And how? + +HAR. How should I know? Where else could you find money enough to +clothe yourself as you do? + +CLE. I, father? I play; and as I am very lucky, I spend in clothes all +the money I win. + +HAR. It is very wrong. If you are lucky at play, you should profit by +it, and place the money you win at decent interest, so that you may +find it again some day. I should like to know, for instance, without +mentioning the rest, what need there is for all these ribbons with +which you are decked from head to foot, and if half a dozen tags are +not sufficient to fasten your breeches. What necessity is there for +anyone to spend money upon wigs, when we have hair of our own growth, +which costs nothing. I will lay a wager that, in wigs and ribbons +alone, there are certainly twenty pistoles spent, and twenty pistoles +brings in at least eighteen livres six sous eight deniers per annum, +at only eight per cent interest. + +CLE. You are quite right. + +HAR. Enough on this subject; let us talk of something else. (_Aside, +noticing_ CLÉANTE _and_ ÉLISE, _who make signs to one another_) +I believe they are making signs to one another to pick my pocket. +(_Aloud_) What do you mean by those signs? + +ELI. We are hesitating as to who shall speak first, for we both have +something to tell you. + +HAR. And I also have something to tell you both. + +CLE. We wanted to speak to you about marriage, father. + +HAR. The very thing I wish to speak to you about. + +ELI. Ah! my father! + +HAR. What is the meaning of that exclamation? Is it the word, +daughter, or the thing itself that frightens you? + +CLE. Marriage may frighten us both according to the way you take it; +and our feelings may perhaps not coincide with your choice. + +HAR. A little patience, if you please. You need not be alarmed. I know +what is good for you both, and you will have no reason to complain of +anything I intend to do. To begin at the beginning. (_To_ +CLÉANTE) Do you know, tell me, a young person, called Marianne, who +lives not far from here? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. And you? + +ELI. I have heard her spoken of. + +HAR. Well, my son, and how do you like the girl? + +CLE. She is very charming. + +HAR. Her face? + +CLE. Modest and intelligent. + +HAR. Her air and manner? + +CLE. Perfect, undoubtedly. + +HAR. Do you not think that such a girl well deserves to be thought of? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. She would form a very desirable match? + +CLE. Very desirable. + +HAR. That there is every likelihood of her making a thrifty and +careful wife. + +CLE. Certainly. + +HAR. And that a husband might live very happily with her? + +CLE. I have not the least doubt about it. + +HAR. There is one little difficulty; I am afraid she has not the +fortune we might reasonably expect. + +CLE. Oh, my father, riches are of little importance when one is sure +of marrying a virtuous woman. + +HAR. I beg your pardon. Only there is this to be said: that if we do +not find as much money as we could wish, we may make it up in +something else. + +CLE. That follows as a matter of course. + +HAR. Well, I must say that I am very much pleased to find that you +entirely agree with me, for her modest manner and her gentleness have +won my heart; and I have made up my mind to marry her, provided I find +she has some dowry. + +CLE. Eh! + +HAR. What now? + +CLE. You are resolved, you say...? + +HAR. To marry Marianne. + +CLE. Who? you? you? + +HAR. Yes, I, I, I. What does all this mean? + +CLE. I feel a sudden dizziness, and I must withdraw for a little +while. + +HAR. It will be nothing. Go quickly into the kitchen and drink a large +glass of cold water, it will soon set you all right again. + + + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ÉLISE. + + +HAR. There goes one of your effeminate fops, with no more stamina than +a chicken. That is what I have resolved for myself, my daughter. As to +your brother, I have thought for him of a certain widow, of whom I +heard this morning; and you I shall give to Mr. Anselme. + +ELI. To Mr. Anselme? + +HAR. Yes, a staid and prudent man, who is not above fifty, and of +whose riches everybody speaks. + +ELI. (_curtseying_). I have no wish to marry, father, if you +please. + +HAR. (_imitating_ ÉLISE). And I, my little girl, my darling, I +wish you to marry, if you please. + +ELI. (_curtseying again_). I beg your pardon, my father. + +HAR. (_again imitating_ ÉLISE). I beg your pardon, my daughter. + +ELI. I am the very humble servant of Mr. Anselme, but (_curtseying +again_), with your leave, I shall not marry him. + +HAR. I am your very humble servant, but (_again imitating_ ÉLISE) +you will marry him this very evening. + +ELI. This evening? + +HAR. This evening. + +ELI. (_curtseying again_). It cannot be done, father. + +HAR. (_imitating_ ÉLISE). It will be done, daughter. + +ELI. No. + +HAR. Yes. + +ELI. No, I tell you. + +HAR. Yes, I tell you. + +ELI. You will never force me to do such a thing + +HAR. I will force you to it. + +ELI. I had rather kill myself than marry such a man. + +HAR. You will not kill yourself, and you will marry him. But did you +ever see such impudence? Did ever any one hear a daughter speak in +such a fashion to her father? + +ELI. But did ever anyone see a father marry his daughter after such a +fashion? + +HAR. It is a match against which nothing can be said, and I am +perfectly sure that everybody will approve of my choice. + +ELI. And I know that it will be approved of by no reasonable person. + +HAR. (_seeing_ VALÈRE). There is Valère coming. Shall we make him +judge in this affair? + +ELI. Willingly. + +HAR. You will abide by what he says? + +ELI. Yes, whatever he thinks right, I will do. + +HAR. Agreed. + + + + +SCENE VII.--VALÈRE, HARPAGON, ÉLISE. + + +HAR. Valère, we have chosen you to decide who is in the right, my +daughter or I. + +VAL. It is certainly you, Sir. + +HAR. But have you any idea of what we are talking about? + +VAL. No; but you could not be in the wrong; you are reason itself. + +HAR. I want to give her to-night, for a husband, a man as rich as he +is good; and the hussy tells me to my face that she scorns to take +him. What do you say to that? + +VAL. What I say to it? + +HAR. Yes? + +VAL. Eh! eh! + +HAR. What? + +VAL. I say that I am, upon the whole, of your opinion, and that you +cannot but be right; yet, perhaps, she is not altogether wrong; +and.... + +HAR. How so? Mr. Anselme is an excellent match; he is a nobleman, and +a gentleman too; of simple habits, and extremely well off. He has no +children left from his first marriage. Could she meet with anything +more suitable? + +VAL. It is true. But she might say that you are going rather fast, and +that she ought to have at least a little time to consider whether her +inclination could reconcile itself to.... + +HAR. It is an opportunity I must not allow to slip through my fingers. +I find an advantage here which I should not find elsewhere, and he +agrees to take her without dowry. + +VAL. Without dowry? + +HAR. Yes. + +VAL. Ah! I have nothing more to say. A more convincing reason could +not be found; and she must yield to that. + +HAR. It is a considerable saving to me. + +VAL. Undoubtedly; this admits of no contradiction. It is true that +your daughter might represent to you that marriage is a more serious +affair than people are apt to believe; that the happiness or misery of +a whole life depends on it, and that an engagement which is to last +till death ought not to be entered into without great consideration. + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. That must of course decide everything. There are certainly people +who might tell you that on such occasions the wishes of a daughter are +no doubt to be considered, and that this great disparity of age, of +disposition, and of feelings might be the cause of many an unpleasant +thing in a married life. + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. Ah! it must be granted that there is no reply to that; who in the +world could think otherwise? I do not mean to say but that there are +many fathers who would set a much higher value on the happiness of +their daughter than on the money they may have to give for their +marriage; who would not like to sacrifice them to their own interests, +and who would, above all things, try to see in a marriage that sweet +conformity of tastes which is a sure pledge of honour, tranquillity +and joy; and that.... + +HAR. Without dowry! + +VAL. That is true; nothing more can be said. Without dowry. How can +anyone resist such arguments? + +HAR. (_aside, looking towards the garden_). Ah! I fancy I hear a +dog barking. Is anyone after my money. (_To_ VALÈRE) Stop here, +I'll come back directly. + + + + +SCENE VIII.--ÉLISE, VALÈRE. + + +ELI. Surely, Valère, you are not in earnest when you speak to him in +that manner? + +VAL. I do it that I may not vex him, and the better to secure my ends. +To resist him boldly would simply spoil everything. There are certain +people who are only to be managed by indirect means, temperaments +averse from all resistance, restive natures whom truth causes to rear, +who always kick when we would lead them on the right road of reason, +and who can only be led by a way opposed to that by which you wish +them to go. Pretend to comply with his wishes; you are much more +likely to succeed in the end, and.... + +ELI. But this marriage, Valère? + +VAL. We will find some pretext for breaking it off. + +ELI. But what pretext can we find if it is to be concluded to-night? + +VAL. You must ask to have it delayed, and must feign some illness or +other. + +ELI. But he will soon discover the truth if they call in the doctor. + +VAL. Not a bit of it. Do you imagine that a doctor understands what he +is about? Nonsense! Don't be afraid. Believe me, you may complain of +any disease you please, the doctor will be at no loss to explain to +you from what it proceeds. + + + + +SCENE IX--HARPAGON, ÉLISE, VALÈRE. + + +HAR. (_alone, at the farther end of the stage_). It is nothing, +thank heaven! + +VAL. (_not seeing_ HARPAGON). In short, flight is the last +resource we have left us to avoid all this; and if your love, dear +Élise, is as strong as.... (_Seeing_ HARPAGON) Yes, a daughter is +bound to obey her father. She has no right to inquire what a husband +offered to her is like, and when the most important question, "without +dowry," presents itself, she should accept anybody that is given her. + +HAR. Good; that was beautifully said! + +VAL. I beg your pardon, Sir, if I carry it a little too far, and take +upon myself to speak to her as I do. + +HAR. Why, I am delighted, and I wish you to have her entirely under +your control. (_To_ ÉLISE) Yes, you may run away as much as you +like. I give him all the authority over you that heaven has given me, +and I will have you do all that he tells you. + +VAL. After that, resist all my expostulations, if you can. + + + + +SCENE X.-HARPAGON, VALÈRE. + + +VAL. I will follow her, Sir, if you will allow me, and will continue +the lecture I was giving her. + +HAR. Yes, do so; you will oblige me greatly. + +VAL. She ought to be kept in with a tight hand. + +HAR. Quite true, you must.... + +VAL. Do not be afraid; I believe I shall end by convincing her. + +HAR. Do so, do so. I am going to take a short stroll in the town, and +I will come back again presently. + +VAL. (_going towards the door through which_ ÉLISE _left, and +speaking as if it were to her_). Yes, money is more precious than +anything else in the world, and you should thank heaven that you have +so worthy a man for a father. He knows what life is. When a man offers +to marry a girl without a dowry, we ought to look no farther. +Everything is comprised in that, and "without dowry" compensates for +want of beauty, youth, birth, honour, wisdom, and probity. + +HAR. Ah! the honest fellow! he speaks like an oracle. Happy is he who +can secure such a servant! + + + + +ACT II. + +SCENE I.--CLÉANTE, LA FLÈCHE. + + +CLE. How now, you rascal! where have you been hiding? Did I not give +you orders to...? + +LA FL. Yes, Sir, and I came here resolved to wait for you without +stirring, but your father, that most ungracious of men, drove me into +the street in spite of myself, and I well nigh got a good drubbing +into the bargain. + +CLE. How is our affair progressing? Things are worse than ever for us, +and since I left you, I have discovered that my own father is my +rival. + +LA FL. Your father in love? + +CLE. It seems so; and I found it very difficult to hide from him what +I felt at such a discovery. + +LA FL. He meddling with love! What the deuce is he thinking of? Does +he mean to set everybody at defiance? And is love made for people of +his build? + +CLE. It is to punish me for my sins that this passion has entered his +head. + +LA FL. But why do you hide your love from him? + +CLE. That he may not suspect anything, and to make it more easy for me +to fall back, if need be, upon some device to prevent this marriage. +What answer did you receive? + +LA FL. Indeed, Sir, those who borrow are much to be pitied, and we +must put up with strange things when, like you, we are forced to pass +through the hands of the usurers. + +CLE. Then the affair won't come off? + +LA FL. Excuse me; Mr. Simon, the broker who was recommended to us, is +a very active and zealous fellow, and says he has left no stone +unturned to help you. He assures me that your looks alone have won his +heart. + +CLE. Shall I have the fifteen thousand francs which I want? + +LA FL. Yes, but under certain trifling conditions, which you must +accept if you wish the bargain to be concluded. + +CLE. Did you speak to the man who is to lend the money? + +LA FL Oh! dear no. Things are not done in that way. He is still more +anxious than you to remain unknown. These things are greater mysteries +than you think. His name is not by any means to be divulged, and he is +to be introduced to you to-day at a house provided by him, so that he +may hear from yourself all about your position and your family; and I +have not the least doubt that the mere name of your father will be +sufficient to accomplish what you wish. + +CLE. Particularly as my mother is dead, and they cannot deprive me of +what I inherit from her. + +LA FL. Well, here are some of the conditions which he has himself +dictated to our go-between for you to take cognisance of, before +anything is begun. + +"Supposing that the lender is satisfied with all his securities, and +that the borrower is of age and of a family whose property is ample, +solid, secure, and free from all incumbrances, there shall be drawn up +a good and correct bond before as honest a notary as it is possible to +find, and who for this purpose shall be chosen by the lender, because +he is the more concerned of the two that the bond should be rightly +executed." + +CLE. There is nothing to say against that. + +LA FA. "The lender, not to burden his conscience with the least +scruple, does not wish to lend his money at more than five and a half +per cent." + +CLE. Five and a half per cent? By Jove, that's honest! We have nothing +to complain of, + +LA FL. That's true. + +"But as the said lender has not in hand the sum required, and as, in +order to oblige the borrower, he is himself obliged to borrow from +another at the rate of twenty per cent., it is but right that the said +first borrower shall pay this interest, without detriment to the rest; +since it is only to oblige him that the said lender is himself forced +to borrow." + +CLE. The deuce! What a Jew! what a Turk we have here! That is more +than twenty-five per cent. + +LA FL. That's true; and it is the remark I made. It is for you to +consider the matter before you act. + +CLE. How can I consider? I want the money, and I must therefore accept +everything. + +LA FL. That is exactly what I answered. + +CLE. Is there anything else? + +LA FL. Only a small item. + +"Of the fifteen thousand francs which are demanded, the lender will +only be able to count down twelve thousand in hard cash; instead of +the remaining three thousand, the borrower will have to take the +chattels, clothing, and jewels, contained in the following catalogue, +and which the said lender has put in all good faith at the lowest +possible figure." + +CLE. What is the meaning of all that? + +LA FL. I'll go through the catalogue:-- + +"Firstly:--A fourpost bedstead, with hangings of Hungary lace very +elegantly trimmed with olive-coloured cloth, and six chairs and a +counterpane to match; the whole in very good condition, and lined with +soft red and blue shot-silk. Item:--the tester of good pale pink +Aumale serge, with the small and the large fringes of silk." + +CLE. What does he want me to do with all this? + +LA FL. Wait. + +"Item:--Tapestry hangings representing the loves of Gombaud and Macée. +[Footnote: An old comic pastoral.] Item:--A large walnut table with +twelve columns or turned legs, which draws out at both ends, and is +provided beneath with six stools." + +CLE. Hang it all! What am I to do with all this? + +LA FL. Have patience. + +"Item:--Three large matchlocks inlaid with mother-of-pearl, with rests +to correspond. Item:--A brick furnace with two retorts and three +receivers, very useful to those who have any taste for distilling." + +CLE. You will drive me crazy. + +LA FL. Gently! + +"Item:--A Bologna lute with all its strings, or nearly all. Item:--A +pigeon-hole table and a draught-board, and a game of mother goose, +restored from the Greeks, most useful to pass the time when one has +nothing to do. Item:--A lizard's skin, three feet and a half in +length, stuffed with hay, a pleasing curiosity to hang on the ceiling +of a room. The whole of the above-mentioned articles are really worth +more than four thousand five hundred francs, and are reduced to the +value of a thousand crowns through the considerateness of the lender." + +CLE. Let the plague choke him with his considerateness, the wretch, +the cut-throat that he is! Did ever anyone hear of such usury? Is he +not satisfied with the outrageous interest he asks that he must force +me to take, instead of the three thousand francs, all the old rubbish +which he picks up. I shan't get two hundred crowns for all that, and +yet I must bring myself to yield to all his wishes; for he is in a +position to force me to accept everything, and he has me, the villain, +with a knife at my throat. + +LA FL. I see you, Sir, if you'll forgive my saying so, on the high-road +followed by Panurge [Footnote: The real hero in Rabelais' 'Pantagruel.'] +to ruin himself--taking money in advance, buying dear, selling cheap, +and cutting your corn while it is still grass. + +CLE. What would you have me do? It is to this that young men are +reduced by the accursed avarice of their fathers; and people are +astonished after that, that sons long for their death. + +LA FL. No one can deny that yours would excite against his meanness +the most quiet of men. I have not, thank God, any inclination gallows- +ward, and among my colleagues whom I see dabbling in various doubtful +affairs, I know well enough how to keep myself out of hot water, and +how to keep clear of all those things which savour ever so little of +the ladder; but to tell you the truth, he almost gives me, by his ways +of going on, the desire of robbing him, and I should think that in +doing so I was doing a meritorious action. + +CLE. Give me that memorandum that I may have another look at it. + + + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, MR. SIMON (CLÉANTE _and_ LA FLÈCHE _at the +back of the stage_). + + +SIM. Yes, Sir; it is a young man who is greatly in want of money; his +affairs force him to find some at any cost, and he will submit to all +your conditions. + +HAR. But are you sure, Mr. Simon, that there is no risk to run in this +case? and do you know the name, the property, and the family of him +for whom you speak? + +SIM. No; I cannot tell you anything for certain, as it was by mere +chance that I was made acquainted with him; but he will tell you +everything himself, and his servant has assured me that you will be +quite satisfied when you know who he is. All I can tell you is that +his family is said to be very wealthy, that he has already lost his +mother, and that he will pledge you his word, if you insist upon it, +that his father will die before eight months are passed. + +HAR. That is something. Charity, Mr. Simon, demands of us to gratify +people whenever we have it in our power. + +SIM. Evidently. + +LA FL. (_aside to_ CLÉANTE, _on recognising_ MR. SIMON). +What does this mean? Mr. Simon talking with your father! + +CLE. (_aside to_ LA FLÈCHE). Has he been told who I am, and would +you be capable of betraying me? + +SIM. (_to_ CLÉANTE _and_ LA FLÈCHE). Ah! you are in good +time! But who told you to come here? (_To_ HARPAGON) It was +certainly not I who told them your name and address; but I am of +opinion that there is no great harm done; they are people who can be +trusted, and you can come to some understanding together. + +HAR. What! + +SIM. (_showing_ CLÉANTE). This is the gentleman who wants to +borrow the fifteen thousand francs of which I have spoken to you. + +HAR. What! miscreant! is it you who abandon yourself to such excesses? + +CLE. What! father! is it you who stoop to such shameful deeds? + +(MR. SIMON _runs away, and_ LA FLÈCHE _hides himself_.) + + + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE. + + +HAR. It is you who are ruining yourself by loans so greatly to be +condemned! + +CLE. So it is you who seek to enrich yourself by such criminal usury! + +HAR. And you dare, after that, to show yourself before me? + +CLE. And you dare, after that, to show yourself to the world? + +HAR. Are you not ashamed, tell me, to descend to these wild excesses, +to rush headlong into frightful expenses, and disgracefully to +dissipate the wealth which your parents have amassed with so much +toil. + +CLE. Are you not ashamed of dishonouring your station by such +dealings, of sacrificing honour and reputation to the insatiable +desire of heaping crown upon crown, and of outdoing the most infamous +devices that have ever been invented by the most notorious usurers? + +HAR. Get out of my sight, you reprobate; get out of my sight! + +CLE. Who is the more criminal in your opinion: he who buys the money +of which he stands in need, or he who obtains, by unfair means, money +for which he has no use? + +HAR. Begone, I say, and do not provoke me to anger. (_Alone_) +After all, I am not very much vexed at this adventure; it will be a +lesson to me to keep a better watch over all his doings. + + + + +SCENE IV.--FROSINE, HARPAGON. + + +FRO. Sir. + +HAR. Wait a moment, I will come back and speak to you. (_Aside_) +I had better go and see a little after my money. + + + + +SCENE V.--LA FLÈCHE, FROSINE. + + +LA FL. (_without seeing_ FROSINE). The adventure is most comical. +Hidden somewhere he must have a large store of goods of all kinds, for +the list did not contain one single article which either of us +recognised. + +FRO. Hallo! is it you, my poor La Flèche? How is it we meet here? + +LA FL. Ah! ah! it is you, Frosine; and what have you come to do here? + +FRO. What have I come to do? Why! what I do everywhere else, busy +myself about other people's affairs, make myself useful to the +community in general, and profit as much as I possibly can by the +small talent I possess. Must we not live by our wits in this world? +and what other resources have people like me but intrigue and cunning? + +LA FL. Have you, then, any business with the master of this house? + +FRO. Yes. I am transacting for him a certain small matter for which he +is pretty sure to give me a reward. + +LA FL. He give you a reward! Ah! ah! Upon my word, you will be 'cute +if you ever get one, and I warn you that ready money is very scarce +hereabouts. + +FRO. That may be, but there are certain services which wonderfully +touch our feelings. + +LA FL. Your humble servant; but as yet you don't know Harpagon. +Harpagon is the human being of all human beings the least humane, the +mortal of all mortals the hardest and closest. There is no service +great enough to induce him to open his purse. If, indeed, you want +praise, esteem, kindness, and friendship, you are welcome to any +amount; but money, that's a different affair. There is nothing more +dry, more barren, than his favour and his good grace, and +"_give_" is a word for which be has such a strong dislike that he +never says _I give_, but _I lend, you a good morning_. + +FRO. That's all very well; but I know the art of fleecing men. I have +a secret of touching their affections by flattering their hearts, and +of finding out their weak points. + +LA FL. All useless here. I defy you to soften, as far as money is +concerned, the man we are speaking of. He is a Turk on that point, of +a Turkishness to drive anyone to despair, and we might starve in his +presence and never a peg would he stir. In short, he loves money +better than reputation, honour, and virtue, and the mere sight of +anyone making demands upon his purse sends him into convulsions; it is +like striking him in a vital place, it is piercing him to the heart, +it is like tearing out his very bowels! And if ... But here he comes +again; I leave you. + + + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, FROSINE. + + +HAR. (_aside_). All is as it should be. (_To_ FROSINE) Well, +what is it, Frosine? + +FRO. Bless me, how well you look! You are the very picture of health. + +HAR. Who? I? + +FRO. Never have I seen you looking more rosy, more hearty. + +HAR. Are you in earnest? + +FRO. Why! you have never been so young in your life; and I know many a +man of twenty-five who looks much older than you do. + +HAR. And yet, Frosine, I have passed threescore. + +FRO. Threescore! Well, and what then? You don't mean to make a trouble +of that, do you? It's the very flower of manhood, the threshold of the +prime of life. + +HAR. True; but twenty years less would do me no harm, I think. + +FRO. Nonsense! You've no need of that, and you are of a build to last +out a hundred. + +HAR. Do you really think so? + +FRO. Decidedly. You have all the appearance of it. Hold yourself up a +little. Ah! what a sign of long life is that line there straight +between your two eyes! + +HAR. You know all about that, do you? + +FRO. I should think I do. Show me your hand. [Footnote: Frosine +professes a knowledge of palmistry.] Dear me, what a line of life +there is there! + +HAR. Where? + +FRO. Don't you see how far this line goes? + +HAR. Well, and what does it mean? + +FRO. What does it mean? There ... I said a hundred years; but no, it +is one hundred and twenty I ought to have said. + +HAR. Is it possible? + +FRO. I tell you they will have to kill you, and you will bury your +children and your children's children. + +HAR. So much the better! And what news of our affair? + +FRO. Is there any need to ask? Did ever anyone see me begin anything +and not succeed in it? I have, especially for matchmaking, the most +wonderful talent. There are no two persons in the world I could not +couple together; and I believe that, if I took it into my head, I +could make the Grand Turk marry the Republic of Venice. [Footnote: Old +enemies. The Turks took Candia from the Venetians in 1669, after a war +of twenty years.] But we had, to be sure, no such difficult thing to +achieve in this matter. As I know the ladies very well, I told them +every particular about you; and I acquainted the mother with your +intentions towards Marianne since you saw her pass in the street and +enjoy the fresh air out of her window. + +HAR. What did she answer...? + +FRO. She received your proposal with great joy; and when I told her +that you wished very much that her daughter should come to-night to +assist at the marriage contract which is to be signed for your own +daughter, she assented at once, and entrusted her to me for the +purpose. + +HAR. You see, Frosine, I am obliged to give some supper to Mr. +Anselme, and I should like her to have a share in the feast. + +FRO. You are quite right. She is to come after dinner to pay a visit +to your daughter; then she means to go from here to the fair, and +return to your house just in time for supper. + +HAR. That will do very well; they shall go together in my carriage, +which I will lend them. + +FRO. That will suit her perfectly. + +HAR. But I say, Frosine, have you spoken to the mother about the dowry +she can give her daughter? Did you make her understand that under such +circumstances she ought to do her utmost and to make a great +sacrifice? For, after all, one does not marry a girl without her +bringing something with her. + +FRO. How something! She is a girl who will bring you a clear twelve +thousand francs a year? + +HAR. Twelve thousand francs a year? + +FRO. Yes! To begin with, she has been nursed and brought up with the +strictest notions of frugality. She is a girl accustomed to live upon +salad, milk, cheese, and apples, and who consequently will require +neither a well served up table, nor any rich broth, nor your +everlasting peeled barley; none, in short, of all those delicacies +that another woman would want. This is no small matter, and may well +amount to three thousand francs yearly. Besides this, she only cares +for simplicity and neatness; she will have none of those splendid +dresses and rich jewels, none of that sumptuous furniture in which +girls like her indulge so extravagantly; and this item is worth more +than four thousand francs per annum. Lastly, she has the deepest +aversion to gambling; and this is not very common nowadays among +women. Why, I know of one in our neighbourhood who lost at least +twenty thousand francs this year. But let us reckon only a fourth of +that sum. Five thousand francs a year at play and four thousand in +clothes and jewels make nine thousand; and three thousand francs which +we count for food, does it not make your twelve thousand francs? + +HAR. Yes, that's not bad; but, after all, that calculation has nothing +real in it. + +FRO. Excuse me; is it nothing real to bring you in marriage a great +sobriety, to inherit a great love for simplicity in dress, and the +acquired property of a great hatred for gambling? + +HAR. It is a farce to pretend to make up a dowry with all the expenses +she will not run into. I could not give a receipt for what I do not +receive; and I must decidedly get something. + +FRO. Bless me! you will get enough; and they have spoken to me of a +certain country where they have some property, of which you will be +master. + +HAR. We shall have to see to that. But, Frosine, there is one more +thing that makes me uneasy. The girl is young, you know; and young +people generally like those who are young like themselves, and only +care for the society of the young. I am afraid that a man of my age +may not exactly suit her taste, and that this may occasion in my +family certain complications that would in nowise be pleasant to me. + +FRO. Oh, how badly you judge her! This is one more peculiarity of +which I had to speak to you. She has the greatest detestation to all +young men, and only likes old people. + +HAR. Does she? + +FRO. I should like you to hear her talk on that subject; she cannot +bear at all the sight of a young man, and nothing delights her more +than to see a fine old man with a venerable beard. The oldest are to +her the most charming, and I warn you beforehand not to go and make +yourself any younger than you really are. She wishes for one sixty +years old at least; and it is not more than six months ago that on the +very eve of being married she suddenly broke off the match on learning +that her lover was only fifty-six years of age, and did not put on +spectacles to sign the contract. + +HAR. Only for that? + +FRO. Yes; she says there is no pleasure with a man of fifty-six; and +she has a decided affection for those who wear spectacles. + +HAR. Well, this is quite new to me. + +FRO. No one can imagine how far she carries this. She has in her room +a few pictures and engravings, and what do you imagine they are? An +Adonis, a Cephalus, a Paris, an Apollo? Not a bit of it! Fine +portraits of Saturn, of King Priam, of old Nestor, and of good father +Anchises on his son's shoulders. + +HAR. That's admirable. I should never have guessed such a thing; and I +am very pleased to hear that she has such taste as this. Indeed had I +been a woman, I should never have loved young fellows. + +FRO. I should think not. Fine trumpery indeed, these young men, for +any one to fall in love with. Fine jackanapes and puppies for a woman +to hanker after. I should like to know what relish anyone can find in +them? + +HAR. Truly; I don't understand it myself, and I cannot make out how it +is that some women dote so on them. + +FRO. They must be downright idiots. Can any one be in his senses who +thinks youth amiable? Can those curly-pated coxcombs be men, and can +one really get attached to such animals? + +HAR. Exactly what I say every day! With their effeminate voices, their +three little bits of a beard turned up like cat's whiskers, their tow +wigs, their flowing breeches and open breasts! + +FRO. Yes; they are famous guys compared with yourself. In you we see +something like a man. There is enough to satisfy the eye. It is thus +that one should be made and dressed to inspire love. + +HAR. Then you think I am pretty well? + +FRO. Pretty well! I should think so; you are charming, and your face +would make a beautiful picture. Turn round a little, if you please. +You could not find anything better anywhere. Let me see you walk. You +have a well-shaped body, free and easy, as it should be, and one which +gives no sign of infirmity. + +HAR. I have nothing the matter to speak of, I am thankful to say. It +is only my cough, which returns from time to time. [Footnote: Molière +makes use even of his own infirmities. Compare act i. scene iii. This +cough killed him at last.] + +FRO. That is nothing, and coughing becomes you exceedingly well. + +HAR. Tell me, Frosine, has Marianne seen me yet? Has she not noticed +me when I passed by? + +FRO. No; but we have had many conversations about you. I gave her an +exact description of your person, and I did not fail to make the most +of your merit, and to show her what an advantage it would be to have a +husband like you. + +HAR. You did right, and I thank you very much for it. + +FRO. I have, Sir, a small request to make to you. I am in danger of +losing a lawsuit for want of a little money (HARPAGON _looks +grave_), and you can easily help me with it, if you have pity upon +me. You cannot imagine how happy she will be to see you. (HARPAGON +_looks joyful_.) Oh! how sure you are to please her, and how sure +that antique ruff of yours is to produce a wonderful effect on her +mind. But, above all, she will be delighted with your breeches +fastened to your doublet with tags; that will make her mad after you, +and a lover who wears tags will be most welcome to her. + +HAR. You send me into raptures, Frosine, by saying that. + +FRO. I tell you the truth, Sir; this lawsuit is of the utmost +importance for me. (HARPAGON _looks serious again_.) If I lose +it, I am for ever ruined; but a very small sum will save me. I should +like you to have seen the happiness she felt when I spoke of you to +her. (HARPAGON _looks pleased again_.) Joy sparkled in her eyes +while I told her of all your good qualities; and I succeeded, in +short, in making her look forward with the greatest impatience to the +conclusion of the match. + +HAR. You have given me great pleasure, Frosine, and I assure you I.... + +FRO. I beg of you, Sir, to grant me the little assistance I ask of +you. (HARPAGON _again looks grave_.) It will put me on my feet +again, and I shall feel grateful to you for ever. + +HAR. Good-bye; I must go and finish my correspondence. + +FRO. I assure you, Sir, that you could not help me in a more pressing +necessity. + +HAR. I will see that my carriage is ready to take you to the fair. + +FRO. I would not importune you so if I were not compelled by +necessity. + +HAR. And I will see that we have supper early, so that nobody may be +ill. + +FRO. Do not refuse me the service; I beg of you. You can hardly +believe, Sir, the pleasure that.... + +HAR. I must go; somebody is calling me. We shall see each other again +by and by. + +FRO. (_alone_). May the fever seize you, you stingy cur, and send +you to the devil and his angels! The miser has held out against all my +attacks; but I must not drop the negotiation; for I have the other +side, and there, at all events, I am sure of a good reward. + + + + +ACT III. + +SCENE I.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE; DAME CLAUDE (_holding a +broom_), MASTER JACQUES, LA MERLUCHE, BRINDAVOINE. + + +HAR. Here, come here, all of you; I must give you orders for by and +by, and arrange what each one will have to do. Come nearer, Dame +Claude; let us begin with you. (_Looking at her broom._) Good; +you are ready armed, I see. To you I commit the care of cleaning up +everywhere; but, above all, be very careful not to rub the furniture +too hard, for fear of wearing it out. Besides this, I put the bottles +under your care during supper, and if any one of them is missing, or +if anything gets broken, you will be responsible for it, and pay it +out of your wages. + +JAC. (_aside_). A shrewd punishment that. + +HAR. (_to_ DAME CLAUDE.) Now you may go. + + + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES, +BRINDAVOINE, LA MERLUCHE. + + +HAR. To you, Brindavoine, and to you, La Merluche, belongs the duty of +washing the glasses, and of giving to drink, but only when people are +thirsty, and not according to the custom of certain impertinent +lackeys, who urge them to drink, and put the idea into their heads +when they are not thinking about it. Wait until you have been asked +several times, and remember always to have plenty of water. + +JAC. (_aside_). Yes; wine without water gets into one's head. + +LA MER. Shall we take off our smocks, Sir? + +HAR. Yes, when you see the guests coming; but be very careful not to +spoil your clothes. + +BRIND. You know, Sir, that one of the fronts of my doublet is covered +with a large stain of oil from the lamp. + +LA MER. And I, Sir, that my breeches are all torn behind, and that, +saving your presence.... + +HAR. (_to_ LA MERLUCHE). Peace! Turn carefully towards the wall, +and always face the company. (_To_ BRINDAVOINE, _showing him +how he is to hold his hat before his doublet, to hide the stain of +oil_) And you, always hold your hat in this fashion when you wait +on the guests. + + + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON; CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +HAR. As for you, my daughter, you will look after all that is cleared +off the table, and see that nothing is wasted: this care is very +becoming to young girls. Meanwhile get ready to welcome my lady-love, +who is coming this afternoon to pay you a visit, and will take you off +to the fair with her. Do you understand what I say? + +ELI. Yes, father. + + + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +HAR. And you, my young dandy of a son to whom I have the kindness of +forgiving what happened this morning, mind you don't receive her +coldly, or show her a sour face. + +CLE. Receive her coldly! And why should I? + +HAR. Why? why? We know pretty well the ways of children whose fathers +marry again, and the looks they give to those we call stepmothers. But +if you wish me to forget your last offence, I advise you, above all +things, to receive her kindly, and, in short, to give her the +heartiest welcome you can. + +CLE. To speak the truth, father, I cannot promise you that I am very +happy to see her become my stepmother; but as to receiving her +properly, and as to giving her a kind welcome, I promise to obey you +in that to the very letter. + +HAR. Be careful you do, at least. + +CLE. You will see that you have no cause to complain. + +HAR. You will do wisely. + + + + +SCENE V.--HARPAGON, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +HAR. Valère, you will have to give me your help in this business. Now, +Master Jacques, I kept you for the last. + +JAC. Is it to your coachman, Sir, or to your cook you want to speak, +for I am both the one and the other? + +HAR. To both. + +JAC. But to which of the two first? + +HAR. To the cook. + +JAC. Then wait a minute, if you please. + +(JACQUES _takes off his stable-coat and appears dressed as a +cook_.) + +HAR. What the deuce is the meaning of this ceremony? + +JAC. Now I am at your service. + +HAR. I have engaged myself, Master Jacques, to give a supper to-night. + +JAC. (_aside_). Wonderful! + +HAR. Tell me, can you give us a good supper? + +JAC. Yes, if you give me plenty of money. + +HAR. The deuce! Always money! I think they have nothing else to say +except money, money, money! Always that same word in their mouth, +money! They always speak of money! It's their pillow companion, money! + +VAL. Never did I hear such an impertinent answer! Would you call it +wonderful to provide good cheer with plenty of money? Is it not the +easiest thing in the world? The most stupid could do as much. But a +clever man should talk of a good supper with little money. + +JAC. A good supper with little money? + +VAL. Yes. + +JAC. (_to_ VALÈRE). Indeed, Mr. Steward, you will oblige me +greatly by telling me your secret, and also, if you like, by filling +my place as cook; for you keep on meddling here, and want to be +everything. + +HAR. Hold your tongue. What shall we want? + +JAC. Ask that of Mr. Steward, who will give you good cheer with little +money. + +HAR. Do you hear? I am speaking to you, and expect you to answer me. + +JAC. How many will there be at your table? + +HAR. Eight or ten; but you must only reckon for eight. When there is +enough for eight, there is enough for ten. + +VAL. That is evident. + +JAC. Very well, then; you must have four tureens of soup and five side +dishes; soups, entrées.... + +HAR. What! do you mean to feed a whole town? + +JAC. Roast.... + +HAR. (_clapping his hand on_ MASTER JACQUES' _mouth_). Ah! +Wretch! you are eating up all my substance. + +JAC. Entremêts.... + +HAR. (_again putting his hand on_ JACQUES' _mouth_). More +still? + +VAL. (_to_ JACQUES). Do you mean to kill everybody? And has your +master invited people in order to destroy them with over-feeding? Go +and read a little the precepts of health, and ask the doctors if there +is anything so hurtful to man as excess in eating. + +HAR. He is perfectly right. + +VAL. Know, Master Jacques, you and people like you, that a table +overloaded with eatables is a real cut-throat; that, to be the true +friends of those we invite, frugality should reign throughout the +repast we give, and that according to the saying of one of the +ancients, "We must eat to live, and not live to eat." + +HAR. Ah! How well the man speaks! Come near, let me embrace you for +this last saying. It is the finest sentence that I have ever heard in +my life: "We must live to eat, and not eat to live." No; that isn't +it. How do you say it? + +VAL. That we must eat to live, and not live to eat. + +HAR. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES). Yes. Do you hear that? (_To_ +VALÈRE) Who is the great man who said that? + +VAL. I do not exactly recollect his name just now. + +HAR. Remember to write down those words for me. I will have them +engraved in letters of gold over the mantel-piece of my dining-room. + +VAL. I will not fail. As for your supper, you had better let me manage +it. I will see that it is all as it should be. + +HAR. Do so. + +JAC. So much the better; all the less work for me. + +HAR. (_to_ VALÈRE). We must have some of those things of which it +is not possible to eat much, and that satisfy directly. Some good fat +beans, and a pâté well stuffed with chestnuts. + +VAL. Trust to me. + +HAR. Now, Master Jacques, you must clean my carriage. + +JAC. Wait a moment; this is to the coachman. (JACQUES _puts on his +coat_.) You say.... + +HAR. That you must clean my carriage, and have my horses ready to +drive to the fair. + +JAC. Your horses! Upon my word, Sir, they are not at all in a +condition to stir. I won't tell you that they are laid up, for the +poor things have got nothing to lie upon, and it would not be telling +the truth. But you make them keep such rigid fasts that they are +nothing but phantoms, ideas, and mere shadows of horses. + +HAR. They are much to be pitied. They have nothing to do. + +JAC. And because they have nothing to do, must they have nothing to +eat? It would be much better for them, poor things, to work much and +eat to correspond. It breaks my heart to see them so reduced; for, in +short, I love my horses; and when I see them suffer, it seems as if it +were myself. Every day I take the bread out of my own mouth to feed +them; and it is being too hard-hearted, Sir, to have no compassion +upon one's neighbour. + +HAR. It won't be very hard work to go to the fair. + +JAC. No, Sir. I haven't the heart to drive them; it would go too much +against my conscience to use the whip to them in the state they are +in. How could you expect them to drag a carriage? They have not even +strength enough to drag themselves along. + +VAL. Sir, I will ask our neighbour, Picard, to drive them; +particularly as we shall want his help to get the supper ready. + +JAC. Be it so. I had much rather they should die under another's hand +than under mine. + +VAL. Master Jacques is mightily considerate. + +JAC. Mr. Steward is mightily indispensable. + +HAR. Peace. + +JAC. Sir, I can't bear these flatteries, and I can see that, whatever +this man does, his continual watching after the bread, wine, wood, +salt, and candles, is done but to curry favour and to make his court +to you. I am indignant to see it all; and I am sorry to hear every day +what is said of you; for, after all, I have a certain tenderness for +you; and, except my horses, you are the person I like most in the +world. + +HAR. And I would know from you, Master Jacques, what it is that is +said of me. + +JAC. Yes, certainly, Sir, if I were sure you would not get angry with +me. + +HAR. No, no; never fear. + +JAC. Excuse me, but I am sure you will be angry. + +HAR. No, on the contrary, you will oblige me. I should be glad to know +what people say of me. + +JAC. Since you wish it, Sir, I will tell you frankly that you are the +laughing-stock of everybody; that they taunt us everywhere by a +thousand jokes on your account, and that nothing delights people more +than to make sport of you, and to tell stories without end about your +stinginess. One says that you have special almanacks printed, where +you double the ember days and vigils, so that you may profit by the +fasts to which you bind all your house; another, that you always have +a ready-made quarrel for your servants at Christmas time or when they +leave you, so that you may give them nothing. One tells a story how +not long since you prosecuted a neighbour's cat because it had eaten +up the remainder of a leg of mutton; another says that one night you +were caught stealing your horses' oats, and that your coachman,--that +is the man who was before me,--gave you, in the dark, a good sound +drubbing, of which you said nothing. In short, what is the use of +going on? We can go nowhere but we are sure to hear you pulled to +pieces. You are the butt and jest and byword of everybody; and never +does anyone mention you but under the names of miser, stingy, mean, +niggardly fellow and usurer. + +HAR. (_beating_ JACQUES). You are a fool, a rascal, a scoundrel, +and an impertinent wretch. + +JAC. There, there! Did not I know how it would be? You would not +believe me. I told you I should make you angry if I spoke the truth? + +HAR. Learn how to speak. + + + + +SCENE VI.--VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +VAL. (_laughing_). Well, Master Jacques, your frankness is badly +rewarded, I fear. + +JAC. S'death! Mr. Upstart, you who assume the man of consequence, it +is no business of yours as far as I can see. Laugh at your own +cudgelling when you get it, and don't come here and laugh at mine. + +VAL. Ah! Master Jacques, don't get into a passion, I beg of you. + +JAC. (_aside_). He is drawing in his horns. I will put on a bold +face, and if he is fool enough to be afraid of me, I will pay him back +somewhat. (_To_ VALÈRE) Do you know, Mr. Grinner, that I am not +exactly in a laughing humour, and that if you provoke me too much, I +shall make you laugh after another fashion. (JACQUES _pushes_ +VALÈRE _to the farther end of the stage, threatening him_.) + +VAL. Gently, gently. + +JAC. How gently? And if it does not please me to go gently? + +VAL. Come, come! What are you about? + +JAC. You are an impudent rascal. + +VAL. Master Jacques.... + +JAC. None of your Master Jacques here! If I take up a stick, I shall +soon make you feel it. + +VAL. What do you mean by a stick? (_Drives back_ JACQUES _in +his turn_.) + +JAC. No; I don't say anything about that. + +VAL. Do you know, Mr. Conceit, that I am a man to give you a drubbing +in good earnest? + +JAC. I have no doubt of it. + +VAL. That, after all, you are nothing but a scrub of a cook? + +JAC. I know it very well. + +VAL. And that you don't know me yet? + +JAC. I beg your pardon. + +VAL. You will beat me, you say? + +JAC. I only spoke in jest. + +VAL. I don't like your jesting, and (_beating_ JACQUES) remember +that you are but a sorry hand at it. + +JAC. (_alone_). Plague take all sincerity; it is a bad trade. I +give it up for the future, and will cease to tell the truth. It is all +very well for my master to beat me; but as for that Mr. Steward, what +right has he to do it? I will be revenged on him if I can. + + + + +SCENE VII.--MARIANNE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +FRO. Do you know if your master is at home? + +JAC. Yes, he is indeed; I know it but too well. + +FRO. Tell him, please, that we are here. + + + + +SCENE VIII.--MARIANNE, FROSINE. + + +MAR. Ah! Frosine, how strange I feel, and how I dread this interview! + +FRO. Why should you? What can you possibly dread? + +MAR. Alas! can you ask me? Can you not understand the alarms of a +person about to see the instrument of torture to which she is to be +tied. + +FRO. I see very well that to die agreeably, Harpagon is not the +torture you would embrace; and I can judge by your looks that the fair +young man you spoke of to me is still in your thoughts. + +MAR. Yes, Frosine; it is a thing I do not wish to deny. The respectful +visits he has paid at our house have left, I confess, a great +impression on my heart. + +FRO. But do you know who he is? + +MAR. No, I do not. All I know is that he is made to be loved; that if +things were left to my choice, I would much rather marry him than any +other, and that he adds not a little to the horrible dread that I have +of the husband they want to force upon me. + +FRO. Oh yes! All those dandies are very pleasant, and can talk +agreeably enough, but most of them are as poor as church mice; and it +is much better for you to marry an old husband, who gives you plenty +of money. I fully acknowledge that the senses somewhat clash with the +end I propose, and that there are certain little inconveniences to be +endured with such a husband; but all that won't last; and his death, +believe me, will soon put you in a position to take a more pleasant +husband, who will make amends for all. + +MAR. Oh, Frosine! What a strange state of things that, in order to be +happy, we must look forward to the death of another. Yet death will +not fall in with all the projects we make. + +FRO. You are joking. You marry him with the express understanding that +he will soon leave you a widow; it must be one of the articles of the +marriage contract. It would be very wrong in him not to die before +three months are over. Here he is himself. + +MAR. Ah! dear Frosine, what a face! + + + + +SCENE IX.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, FROSINE. + + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). Do not be offended, fair one, if I come to +you with my glasses on. I know that your beauty is great enough to be +seen with the naked eye; but, still, it is with glasses that we look +at the stars, and I maintain and uphold that you are a star, the most +beautiful and in the land of stars. Frosine, she does not answer, +star, it seems to me, shows no joy at the sight of me. + +FRO. It is because she is still quite awe-struck, and young girls are +always shy at first, and afraid of showing what they feel. + +HAR. (_to_ FROSINE). You are right. (_To_ MARIANNE) My +pretty darling, there is my daughter coming to welcome you. + + + +SCENE X.--HARPAGON, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE. + + +MAR. I am very late in acquitting myself of the visit I owed you. + +ELI. You have done what I ought to have done. It was for me to have +come and seen you first. + +HAR. You see what a great girl she is; but ill weeds grow apace. + +MAR. (_aside to_ FROSINE). Oh, what an unpleasant man! + +HAR. (_to_ FROSINE). What does my fair one say? + +FRO. That she thinks you perfect. + +HAR. You do me too much honour, my adorable darling. + +MAR. (_aside_). What a dreadful creature! + +HAR. I really feel too grateful to you for these sentiments. + +MAR. (_aside_). I can bear it no longer. + + + + +SCENE XI.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, FROSINE, +BRINDAVOINE. + + +HAR. Here is my son, who also comes to pay his respects to you. + +MAR. (_aside to_ FROSINE). Oh, Frosine! what a strange meeting! +He is the very one of whom I spoke to you. + +FRO. (_to_ MARIANNE). Well, that is extraordinary. + +HAR. You are surprised to see that my children can be so old; but I +shall soon get rid of both of them. + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). Madam, to tell you the truth, I little +expected such an event; and my father surprised me not a little when +he told me to-day of the decision he had come to. + +MAR. I can say the same thing. It is an unexpected meeting; and I +certainly was far from being prepared for such an event. + +CLE. Madam, my father cannot make a better choice, and it is a great +joy to me to have the honour of welcoming you here. At the same time, +I cannot say that I should rejoice if it were your intention to become +my stepmother. I must confess that I should find it difficult to pay +you the compliment; and it is a title, forgive me, that I cannot wish +you to have. To some this speech would seem coarse, but I feel that +you understand it. This marriage, Madam, is altogether repugnant to +me. You are not ignorant, now that you know who I am, how opposed it +is to all my own interests, and with my father's permission I hope you +will allow me to say that, if things depended on me, it would never +take place. + +HAR. (_aside_). What a very impertinent speech to make; and what +a confession to make to her! + +MAR. And as my answer, I must tell you that things are much the same +with me, and that, if you have any repugnance in seeing me your +stepmother, I shall have no less in seeing you my stepson. Do not +believe, I beg of you, that it is of my own will that this trouble has +come upon you. I should be deeply grieved to cause you the least +sorrow, and unless I am forced to it by a power I must obey, I give +you my word that, I will never consent to a marriage which is so +painful to you. + +HAR. She is right. A foolish speech deserves a foolish answer. I beg +your pardon, my love, for the impertinence of my son. He is a silly +young fellow, who has not yet learnt the value of his own words. + +MAR. I assure you that he has not at all offended me. I am thankful, +on the contrary, that he has spoken so openly. I care greatly for such +a confession from him, and if he had spoken differently, I should feel +much less esteem for him. + +HAR. It is very kind of you to excuse him thus. Time will make him +wiser, and you will see that his feelings will change. + +CLE. No, father, they will never change; and I earnestly beg of you, +Madam, to believe me. + +HAR. Did ever anybody see such folly? He is becoming worse and worse. + +CLE. Would you have me false to my inmost feelings? + +HAR. Again! Change your manners, if you please. + +CLE. Very well, since you wish me to speak differently. Allow me, +Madam, to take for a moment my father's place; and forgive me if I +tell you that I never saw in the world anybody more charming than you +are; that I can understand no happiness to equal that of pleasing you, +and that to be your husband is a glory, a felicity, I should prefer to +the destinies of the greatest princes upon earth. Yes, Madam, to +possess you is, in my mind, to possess the best of all treasures; to +obtain you is all my ambition. There is nothing I would not do for so +precious a conquest, and the most powerful obstacles.... + +HAR. Gently, gently, my son, if you please. + +CLE. These are complimentary words which I speak to her in your name. + +HAR. Bless me! I have a tongue of my own to explain my feelings, and I +really don't care for such an advocate as you... Here, bring us some +chairs. + +FRO. No; I think it is better for us to go at once to the fair, in +order to be back earlier, and have plenty of time for talking. + +HAR. (_to_ BRINDAVOINE). Have the carriage ready at once. + + + + +SCENE XII.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, FROSINE. + + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). I hope you will excuse me, my dear, but I +forgot to order some refreshments for you, before you went out. + +CLE. I have thought of it, father, and have ordered to be brought in +here some baskets of China oranges, sweet citrons, and preserves, +which I sent for in your name. + +HAR. (_aside, to_ VALÈRE). Valère! + +VAL. (_aside, to_ HARPAGON). He has lost his senses! + +CLE. You are afraid, father, that it will not be enough? I hope, +Madam, that you will have the kindness to excuse it. + +MAR. It was by no means necessary. + +CLE. Did you ever see, Madam, a more brilliant diamond than the one my +father has upon his finger? + +MAR. It certainly sparkles very much. + +CLE. (_taking the diamond off his father's finger_). You must see +it near. + +MAR. It is a beautiful one; it possesses great lustre. + +CLE. (_steps before_ MARIANNE, _who wants to restore it_). +No, Madam, it is in hands too beautiful; it is a present my father +gives you. + +HAR. I? + +CLE. Is it not true, father, that you wish her to keep it for your +sake? + +HAR. (_aside, to his son_). What? + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). A strange question indeed! He is making me +signs that I am to force you to accept it. + +MAR. I would not.... + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). I beg of you.... He would not take it back. + +HAR. (_aside_). I am bursting with rage! + +MAR. It would be.... + +CLE. (_still hindering_ MARIANNE _from returning it_). No; I +tell you, you will offend him. + +MAR. Pray.... + +CLE. By no means. + +HAR. (_aside_). Plague take.... + +CLE. He is perfectly shocked at your refusal. + +HAR. (_aside, to his son_). Ah! traitor! + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). You see he is in despair. + +HAR. (_aside, to his son, threatening him_). You villain! + +CLE. Really, father, it is not my fault. I do all I can to persuade +her to accept it; but she is obstinate. + +HAR. (_in a rage, aside to his son_). Rascal! + +CLE. You are the cause, Madam, of my father scolding me. + +HAR. (_aside, with the same looks_). Scoundrel! + +CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). You will make him ill; for goodness' sake, +hesitate no longer. + +FRO. (_to_ MARIANNE). Why so much ceremony? Keep the ring, since +the gentleman wishes you to. + +MAR. (_to_ HARPAGON). I will keep it now, Sir, in order not to +make you angry, and I shall take another opportunity of returning it +to you. + + + + +SCENE XIII.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, FROSINE, BRINDAVOINE. + + +BRIND. Sir, there is a gentleman here who wants to speak to you. + +HAR. Tell him that I am engaged, and that I cannot see him to-day. + +BRIND. He says he has some money for you. + +HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). Pray, excuse me; I will come back directly. + + + + +SCENE XIV.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, FROSINE, LA MERLUCHE. + + +LA MER. (_comes in running, and throws_ HARPAGON _down_). +Sir.... + +HAR. Oh! he has killed me. + +CLE. What's the matter, father? Have you hurt yourself? + +HAR. The wretch must have been bribed by some of my debtors to break +my neck. + +VAL. (_to_ HARPAGON). There is nothing serious. + +LA MER. (_to_ HARPAGON). I beg your pardon, Sir; I thought I had +better run fast to tell you.... + +HAR. What? + +LA MER. That your two horses have lost their shoes. + +HAR. Take them quickly to the smith. + +CLE. In the meantime, father, I will do the honours of the house for +you, and take this lady into the garden, where lunch will be brought. + + + + +SCENE XV.--HARPAGON, VALÈRE. + + +HAR. Valère, look after all this; and take care, I beseech you, to +save as much of it as you can, so that we may send it back to the +tradesman again. + +VAL. I will. + +HAR. (_alone_). Miscreant! do you mean to ruin me? + + + + +ACT IV. + +SCENE I.--CLÉANTE, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, FROSINE. + + +CLE. Let us come in here; we shall be much better. There is no one +about us that we need be afraid of, and we can speak openly. + +ELI. Yes, Madam, my brother has told me of the love he has for you. I +know what sorrow and anxiety such trials as these may cause, and I +assure you that I have the greatest sympathy for you. + +MAR. I feel it a great comfort in my trouble to have the sympathy of a +person like you, and I entreat you, Madam, ever to retain for me a +friendship so capable of softening the cruelty of my fate. + +FRO. You really are both very unfortunate not to have told me of all +this before. I might certainly have warded off the blow, and not have +carried things so far. + +CLE. What could I do? It is my evil destiny which has willed it so. +But you, fair Marianne, what have you resolved to do? What resolution +have you taken? + +MAR. Alas! Is it in my power to take any resolution? And, dependent as +I am, can I do anything else except form wishes? + +CLE. No other support for me in your heart? Nothing but mere wishes? +No pitying energy? No kindly relief? No active affection? + +MAR. What am I to say to you? Put yourself in my place, and judge what +I can possibly do. Advise me, dispose of me, I trust myself entirely +to you, for I am sure that you will never ask of me anything but what +is modest and seemly. + +CLE. Alas! to what do you reduce me when you wish me to be guided +entirely by feelings of strict duty and of scrupulous propriety. + +MAR. But what would you have me do? Even if I were, for you, to divest +myself of the many scruples which our sex imposes on us, I have too +much regard for my mother, who has brought me up with great +tenderness, for me to give her any cause of sorrow. Do all you can +with her. Strive to win her. I give you leave to say and do all you +wish; and if anything depends upon her knowing the true state of my +feelings, by all means tell her what they are; indeed I will do it +myself if necessary. + +CLE. Frosine, dear Frosine, will you not help us? + +FRO. Indeed, I should like to do so, as you know. I am not naturally +unkind. Heaven has not given me a heart of flint, and I feel but too +ready to help when I see young people loving each other in all +earnestness and honesty. What can we do in this case? + +CLE. Try and think a little. + +MAR. Advise us. + +ELI. Invent something to undo what you have done. + +FRO. Rather a difficult piece of business. (_To_ MARIANNE) As far +as your mother is concerned, she is not altogether unreasonable and we +might succeed in making her give to the son the gift she reserved for +the father. (_To_ CLÉANTE) But the most disheartening part of it +all is that your father is your father. + +CLE. Yes, so it is. + +FRO. I mean that he will bear malice if he sees that he is refused, +and he will be in no way disposed afterwards to give his consent to +your marriage. It would be well if the refusal could be made to come +from him, and you ought to try by some means or other to make him +dislike you, Marianne. + +CLE. You are quite right. + +FRO. Yes, right enough, no doubt. That is what ought to be done; but +how in the world are we to set about it? Wait a moment. Suppose we had +a somewhat elderly woman with a little of the ability which I possess, +and able sufficiently well to represent a lady of rank, by means of a +retinue made up in haste, and of some whimsical title of a marchioness +or viscountess, whom we would suppose to come from Lower Brittany. I +should have enough power over your father to persuade him that she is +a rich woman, in possession, besides her houses, of a hundred thousand +crowns in ready money; that she is deeply in love with him, and that +she would marry him at any cost, were she even to give him all her +money by the marriage contract. I have no doubt he would listen to the +proposal. For certainly he loves you very much, my dear, but he loves +money still better. When once he has consented to your marriage, it +does not signify much how he finds out the true state of affairs about +our marchioness. + +CLE. All that is very well made up. + +FRO. Leave it to me; I just remember one of my friends who will do +beautifully. + +CLE. Depend on my gratitude, Frosine, if you succeed. But, dear +Marianne, let us begin, I beg of you, by gaining over your mother; it +would be a great deal accomplished if this marriage were once broken +off. Make use, I beseech you, of all the power that her tenderness for +you gives you over her. Display without hesitation those eloquent +graces, those all-powerful charms, with which Heaven has endowed your +eyes and lips; forget not, I beseech you, those sweet persuasions, +those tender entreaties, those loving caresses to which, I feel, +nothing could be refused. + +MAR. I will do all I can, and will forget nothing. + + + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, FROSINE. + + +HAR. (aside, and without being seen). Ah! ah! my son is kissing the +hand of his intended stepmother, and his intended stepmother does not +seem much averse to it! Can there be any mystery in all this? + +ELI. Here comes my father. + +HAR. The carriage is quite ready, and you can start when you like. + +CLE. Since you are not going, father, allow me to take care of them. + +HAR. No, stop here; they can easily take care of themselves, and I +want you. + + + + +SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE. + + +HAR. Well, now, all consideration of stepmother aside, tell me what do +you think of this lady? + +CLE. What I think of her? + +HAR. Yes, what do you think of her appearance, her figure, her beauty +and intelligence? + +CLE. So, so. + +HAR. But still? + +CLE. To tell you the truth, I did not find her such as I expected. Her +manner is that of a thorough coquette, her figure is rather awkward, +her beauty very middling, and her intelligence of the meanest order. +Do not suppose that I say this to make you dislike her; for if I must +have a stepmother, I like the idea of this one as well as of any +other. + +HAR. You spoke to her just now, nevertheless.... + +CLE. I paid her several compliments in your name, but it was to please +you. + +HAR. So then you don't care for her? + +CLE. Who? I? Not in the least. + +HAR. I am sorry for it, for that puts an end to a scheme which had +occurred to me. Since I have seen her here, I have been thinking of my +own age; and I feel that people would find fault with me for marrying +so young a girl. This consideration had made me determine to abandon +the project, and as I had demanded her in marriage, and had given her +my promise, I would have given her to you if it were not for the +dislike you have for her. + +CLE. To me? + +HAR. To you. + +CLE. In marriage? + +HAR. In marriage. + +CLE. It is true she is not at all to my taste; but, to please you, +father, I will bring myself to marry her, if you please. + +HAR. If I please! I am more reasonable than you think. I don't wish to +compel you. + +CLE. Excuse me! I will make an attempt to love her. + +HAR. No, no; a marriage cannot be happy where there is no love. + +CLE. That, my father, will, perhaps, come by and by, and it is said +that love is often the fruit of marriage. + +HAR. No, it is not right to risk it on the side of the man, and there +are some troublesome things I don't care to run the chance of. If you +had felt any inclination for her, you should have married her instead +of me, but as it is, I will return to my first intention and marry her +myself. + +CLE. Well, father, since things are so, I had better be frank with +you, and reveal our secret to you. The truth is that I have loved her +ever since I saw her one day on the promenade. I intended to ask you +today to let me marry her, and I was only deterred from it because you +spoke of marrying her, and because I feared to displease you. + +HAR. Have you ever paid her any visits? + +CLE. Yes, father. + +HAR. Many? + +CLE. Yes; considering how long we have been acquainted. + +HAR. You were well received. + +CLE. Very well, but without her knowing who I was; and that is why +Marianne was so surprised when she saw me today. + +HAR. Have you told her of your love, and of your intention of marrying +her? + +CLE. Certainly, and I also spoke a little to the mother on the +subject. + +HAR. Did she kindly receive your proposal for her daughter? + +CLE. Yes, very kindly. + +HAR. And does the daughter return your love? + +CLE. If I can believe appearances, she is certainly well disposed +towards me. + +HAR. (_aside_). Well! I am very glad to have found out this +secret; it is the very thing I wanted to know. (_To his son_) +Now, look here, my son, I tell you what. You will have, if you please, +to get rid of your love for Marianne, to cease to pay your attentions +to a person I intend for myself, and to marry very soon the wife I +have chosen for you. + +CLE. So, father, it is thus you deceive me! Very well, since things +are come to such a pass, I openly declare to you that I shall not give +up my love for Marianne. No! understand that henceforth there is +nothing from which I shall shrink in order to dispute her with you; +and if you have on your side the consent of the mother, perhaps I +shall have some other resources left to aid me. + +HAR. What, rascal! You dare to trespass on my grounds? + +CLE. It is you who trespass on mine. I was the first. + +HAR. Am I not your father, and do you not owe me respect? + +CLE. There are things in which children are not called upon to pay +deference to their fathers; and love is no respector of persons. + +HAR. My stick will make you know me better. + +CLE. All your threatenings are nothing to me. + +HAR. You will give up Marianne? + +CLE. Never! + +HAR. Bring me my stick. Quick, I say! my stick! + + + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +JAC. Hold! hold! Gentlemen, what does this mean? What are you thinking +of? + +CLE. I don't care a bit for it. + +JAC. (_to_ CLÉANTE). Ah! Sir, gently. + +HAR. He dares to speak to me with such impudence as that! + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). Ah! Sir, I beg of you. + +CLE. I shall keep to it. + +JAC, (_to_ CLÉANTE). What! to your father? + +HAR. Let me do it. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). What! to your son? To me it's different. + +HAR. I will make you judge between us, Master Jacques, so that you may +see that I have right on my side. + +JAC. Willingly. (_To_ CLÉANTE) Go a little farther back. + +HAR. There is a young girl I love and want to marry, and the scoundrel +has the impudence to love her also, and wants to marry her in spite of +me. + +JAC. Oh! he is wrong. + +HAR. Is it not an abominable thing to see a son who does not shrink +from becoming the rival of his father? And is it not his bounden duty +to refrain from interfering with my love? + +JAC. You are quite right; stop here, and let me go and speak to him. + +CLE. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES, _who comes near him_). Very well; +if he wants to make you a judge between us, I have no objection. I +care little who it is, and I don't mind referring our quarrel to you. + +JAC. You do me great honour. + +CLE. I am in love with a young girl who returns my affection, and who +receives kindly the offer of my heart; but my father takes it into his +head to disturb our love by asking her in marriage. + +JAC. He certainly is wrong. + +CLE. Is it not shameful for a man of his age to think of marrying? I +ask you if it is right for him to fall in love? and ought he not now +to leave that to younger men? + +JAC. You are quite right; he is not serious; let me speak a word or +two to him. (_To_ HARPAGON) Really, your son is not so extravagant +as you think, and is amenable to reason. He says that he is conscious +of the respect he owes you, and that he only got angry in the heat of +the moment. He will willingly submit to all you wish if you will only +promise to treat him more kindly than you do, and will give him in +marriage a person to his taste. + +HAR. Ah! tell him, Master Jacques, that he will obtain everything from +me on those terms, and that, except Marianne, I leave him free to +choose for his wife whomsoever he pleases. + +JAC. Leave that to me. (_To_ CLÉANTE) Really, your father is not +so unreasonable as you make him out to me; and he tells me that it is +your violence which irritated him. He only objects to your way of +doing things, and is quite ready to grant you all you want, provided +you will use gentle means and will give him the deference, respect, +and submission that a son owes to his father. + +CLE. Ah! Master Jacques, you can assure him that if he grants me +Marianne, he will always find me the most submissive of men, and that +I shall never do anything contrary to his pleasure. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). It's all right; he consents to what you +say. + +HARP. Nothing could be better. + +JAC. (_to_ CLÉANTE). It's all settled; he is satisfied with your +promises. CLE. Heaven be praised! + +JAC. Gentlemen, you have nothing to do but to talk quietly over the +matter together; you are agreed now, and yet you were on the point of +quarrelling through want of understanding each other. + +CLE. My poor Jacques, I shall be obliged to you all my life. + +JAC. Don't mention it, Sir. + +HAR. You have given me great pleasure, Master Jacques, and deserve a +reward. (HARPAGON _feels in his pocket_, JACQUES _holds out his +hand, but_ HARPAGON _only pulls out his handkerchief, and +says_,) Go; I will remember it, I promise you. + +JAC. I thank you kindly, Sir. + + + + +SCENE V.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE. + + +CLE. I beg your pardon, father, for having been angry. + +HAR. It is nothing. + +CLE. I assure you that I feel very sorry about it. + +HAR. I am very happy to see you reasonable again. + +CLE. How very kind of you so soon to forget my fault. + +HAR. One easily forgets the faults of children when they return to +their duty. + +CLE. What! you are not angry with me for my extravagant behaviour? + +HAR. By your submission and respectful conduct you compel me to forget +my anger. + +CLE. I assure you, father, I shall for ever keep in heart the +remembrance of all your kindness. + +HAR. And I promise you that, in future, you will obtain all you like +from me. + +CLE. Oh, father! I ask nothing more; it is sufficient for me that you +give me Marianne. + +HAR. What? + +CLE. I say, father, that I am only too thankful already for what you +have done, and that when you give me Marianne, you give me everything. + +HAR. Who talks of giving you Marianne? + +CLE. You, father. + +HAR. I? + +CLE. Yes. + +HAR. What! is it not you who promised to give her up? + +CLE. I! give her up? + +HAR. Yes. + +CLE. Certainly not. + +HAR. Did you not give up all pretensions to her? + +CLE. On the contrary, I am more determined than ever to have her. + +HAR. What, scoundrel! again? + +CLE. Nothing can make me change my mind. + +HAR. Let me get at you again, wretch! + +CLE. You can do as you please. + +HAR. I forbid you ever to come within my sight. + +CLE. As you like. + +HAR. I abandon you. + +CLE. Abandon me. + +HAR. I disown you. + +CLE. Disown me. + +HAR. I disinherit you. + +CLE. As you will. + +HAR. I give you my curse. + +CLE. I want none of your gifts. + + + + +SCENE VI. CLÉANTE, LA FLÈCHE. + + +LA FL. (_leaving the garden with a casket_). Ah! Sir, you are +just in the nick of time. Quick! follow me. + +CLE. What is the matter? + +LA FL. Follow me, I say. We are saved. + +CLE. How? + +LA FL. Here is all you want. + +CLE. What? + +LA FL. I have watched for this all day. + +CLE. What is it? + +LA FL. Your father's treasure that I have got hold of. + +CLE. How did you manage it? + +LA FL. I will tell you all about it. Let us be off. I can hear him +calling out. + + + + +SCENE VII.--HARPAGON, _from the garden, rushing in without his hat, +and crying_-- + + +Thieves! thieves! assassins! murder! Justice, just heavens! I am +undone; I am murdered; they have cut my throat; they have stolen my +money! Who can it be? What has become of him? Where is he? Where is he +hiding himself? What shall I do to find him? Where shall I run? Where +shall I not run? Is he not here? Who is this? Stop! (_To himself, +taking hold of his own arm_) Give me back my money, wretch.... +Ah...! it is myself.... My mind is wandering, and I know not where I +am, who I am, and what I am doing. Alas! my poor money! my poor money! +my dearest friend, they have bereaved me of thee; and since thou art +gone, I have lost my support, my consolation, and my joy. All is ended +for me, and I have nothing more to do in the world! Without thee it is +impossible for me to live. It is all over with me; I can bear it no +longer. I am dying; I am dead; I am buried. Is there nobody who will +call me from the dead, by restoring my dear money to me, or by telling +me who has taken it? Ah! what is it you say? It is no one. Whoever has +committed the deed must have watched carefully for his opportunity, +and must have chosen the very moment when I was talking with my +miscreant of a son. I must go. I will demand justice, and have the +whole of my house put to the torture--my maids and my valets, my son, +my daughter, and myself too. What a crowd of people are assembled +here! Everyone seems to be my thief. I see no one who does not rouse +suspicion in me. Ha! what are they speaking of there? Of him who stole +my money? What noise is that up yonder? Is it my thief who is there? +For pity's sake, if you know anything of my thief, I beseech you to +tell me. Is he hiding there among you? They all look at me and laugh. +We shall see that they all have a share in the robbery. Quick! +magistrates, police, provosts, judges, racks, gibbets, and +executioners. I will hang everybody, and if I do not find my money, I +will hang myself afterwards. + + + + +ACT V. + +SCENE I.--HARPAGON, A POLICE OFFICER. + + +OFF. Leave that to me. I know my business. Thank Heaven! this is not +the first time I have been employed in finding out thieves; and I wish +I had as many bags of a thousand francs as I have had people hanged. + +HAR. Every magistrate must take this affair in hand; and if my money +is not found, I shall call justice against justice itself. + +OFF. We must take all needful steps. You say there was in that +casket...? + +HAR. Ten thousand crowns in cash. + +OFF. Ten thousand crowns! + +HAR. Ten thousand crowns. + +OFF. A considerable theft. + +HAR. There is no punishment great enough for the enormity of the +crime; and if it remain unpunished, the most sacred things are no +longer secure. + +OFF. In what coins was that sum? + +HAR. In good louis d'or and pistoles of full weight. + +OFF. Whom do you suspect of this robbery? + +HAR. Everybody. I wish you to take into custody the whole town and +suburbs. + +OFF. You must not, if you trust me, frighten anybody, but must use +gentle means to collect evidence, in order afterwards to proceed with +more rigour for the recovery of the sum which has been taken from you. + + + + +SCENE II.--HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES. + + +JAC. (_at the end of the stage, turning back to the door by which he +came in_). I am coming back. Have his throat cut at once; have his +feet singed; put him in boiling water, and hang him up to the ceiling. + +HAR. What! Him who has robbed me? + +JAC. I was speaking of a sucking pig that your steward has just sent +me; and I want to have it dressed for you after my own fancy. + +HAR. This is no longer the question; and you have to speak of +something else to this gentleman. + +OFF. (_to_ JACQUES). Don't get frightened. I am not a man to +cause any scandal, and matters will be carried on by gentle means. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). Is this gentleman coming to supper with +you? + +OFF. You must, in this case, my good man, hide nothing from your +master. + +JAC. Indeed, Sir, I will show you all I know, and will treat you in +the best manner I possibly can. + +OFF. That's not the question. + +JAC. If I do not give as good fare as I should like, it is the fault +of your steward, who has clipped my wings with the scissors of his +economy. + +HAR. Rascal! We have other matters to talk about than your supper; and +I want you to tell me what has become of the money which has been +stolen from me. + +JAC. Some money has been stolen from you? + +HAR. Yes, you rascal! And I'll have you hanged if you don't give it me +back again. + +OFF. (_to_ HARPAGON). Pray, don't be hard upon him. I see by his +looks that he is an honest fellow, and that he will tell you all you +want to know without going to prison. Yes, my friend, if you confess, +no harm shall come to you, and you shall be well rewarded by your +master. Some money has been stolen from him, and it is not possible +that you know nothing about it. + +JAC. (_aside_). The very thing I wanted in order to be revenged +of our steward. Ever since he came here, he has been the favourite, +and his advice is the only one listened to. Moreover, I have forgotten +neither the cudgelling of to-day nor.... + +HAR. What are you muttering about there? + +OFF. (_to_ HARPAGON). Leave him alone. He is preparing himself to +satisfy you; I told you that he was an honest fellow. + +JAC. Sir, since you want me to tell you what I know, I believe it is +your steward who has done this. + +HAR. Valère? + +JAC. Yes. + +HAR. He who seemed so faithful to me! + +JAC. Himself. I believe that it is he who has robbed you. + +HAR. And what makes you believe it? + +JAC. What makes me believe it? + +HAR. Yes. + +JAC. I believe it...because I believe it. + +OFF. But you must tell us the proofs you have. + +HAR. Did you see him hanging about the place where I had put my money? + +JAC. Yes, indeed. Where was your money? + +HAR. In the garden. + +JAC. Exactly; I saw him loitering about in the garden; and in what was +your money? + +HAR. In a casket. + +JAC. The very thing. I saw him with a casket. + +HAR. And this casket, what was it like? I shall soon see if it is +mine. + +JAC. What it was like? + +HAR. Yes. + +JAC. It was like...like a casket. + +OFF. Of course. But describe it a little, to see if it is the same. + +JAC. It was a large casket. + +HAR. The one taken from me is a small one. + +JAC. Yes, small if you look at it in that way; but I call it large +because of what it contains. + +HAR. And what colour was it? + +JAC. What colour? + +OFF. Yes. + +JAC. Of a colour...of a certain colour.... Can't you help me to find +the word? + +HAR. Ugh! + +JAC. Red; isn't it? + +HAR. No, grey. + +JAC. Ha! yes, reddish-grey! That's what I meant. + +HAR. There is no doubt about it, it's my casket for certain. Write +down his evidence, Sir! Heavens! whom can we trust after that? We must +never swear to anything, and I believe now that I might rob my own +self. + +JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). There he is coming back, Sir; I beg of you +not to go and tell him that it was I who let it all out, Sir. + + + + +SCENE III.-HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES. + + +HAR. Come, come near, and confess the most abominable action, the most +horrible crime, that was ever committed. + +VAL. What do you want, Sir? + +HAR. What, wretch! you do not blush for shame after such a crime? + +VAL. Of what crime do you speak? + +HAR. Of what crime I speak? Base villain, as if you did not know what +I mean! It is in vain for you to try to hide it; the thing is +discovered, and I have just heard all the particulars. How could you +thus abuse my kindness, introduce yourself on purpose into my house to +betray me, and to play upon me such an abominable trick? + +VAL. Sir, since everything is known to you, I will neither deny what I +have done nor will I try to palliate it. + +JAC. (_aside_). Oh! oh! Have I guessed the truth? + +VAL. I intended to speak to you about it, and I was watching for a +favourable opportunity; but, as this is no longer possible, I beg of +you not to be angry, and to hear my motives. + +HAR. And what fine motives can you possibly give me, infamous thief? + +VAL. Ah! Sir, I do not deserve these names. I am guilty towards you, +it is true; but, after all, my fault is pardonable. + +HAR. How pardonable? A premeditated trick, and such an assassination +as this! + +VAL. I beseech you not to be so angry with me. When you have heard all +I have to say, you will see that the harm is not so great as you make +it out to be. + +HAR. The harm not so great as I make it out to be! What! my heart's +blood, scoundrel! + +VAL. Your blood, Sir, has not fallen into bad hands. My rank is high +enough not to disgrace it, and there is nothing in all this for which +reparation cannot be made. + +HAR. It is, indeed, my intention that you should restore what you have +taken from me. + +VAL. Your honour, Sir, shall be fully satisfied. + +HAR. Honour is not the question in all this. But tell me what made you +commit such a deed? + +VAL. Alas! do you ask it? + +HAR. Yes, I should rather think that I do. + +VAL. A god, Sir, who carries with him his excuses for all he makes +people do: Love. + +HAR. Love? + +VAL. Yes. + +HAR. Fine love that! fine love, indeed! the love of my gold! + +VAL. No, Sir, it is not your wealth that has tempted me, it is not +that which has dazzled me; and I swear never to pretend to any of your +possessions, provided you leave me what I have. + +HAR. In the name of all the devils, no, I shall not leave it to you. +But did anyone ever meet with such villainy! He wishes to keep what he +has robbed me of! + +VAL. Do you call that a robbery? + +HAR. If I call that a robbery? A treasure like that! + +VAL. I readily acknowledge that it is a treasure, and the most +precious one you have. But it will not be losing it to leave it to me. +I ask you on my knees to leave in my possession this treasure so full +of charms; and if you do right, you will grant it to me. + +HAR. I will do nothing of the kind. What in the world are you driving +at? + +VAL. We have pledged our faith to each other, and have taken an oath +never to forsake one another. + +HAR. The oath is admirable, and the promise strange enough! + +VAL. Yes, we are engaged to each other for ever. + +HAR. I know pretty well how to disengage you, I assure you of that. + +VAL. Nothing but death can separate us. + +HAR. You must be devilishly bewitched by my money. + +VAL. I have told you already, Sir, that it is not self-interest which +has prompted me to what I have done. It was not that which prompted my +heart; a nobler motive inspired me. + +HAR. We shall hear presently that it is out of Christian charity that +he covets my money! But I will put a stop to all this, and justice, +impudent rascal, will soon give me satisfaction. + +VAL. You will do as you please, and I am ready to suffer all the +violence you care to inflict upon me, but I beg of you to believe, at +least, that if there is any harm done, I am the only one guilty, and +that your daughter has done nothing wrong in all this. + +HAR. I should think not! It would be strange, indeed, if my daughter +had a share in this crime. But I will have that treasure back again, +and you must confess to what place you have carried it off. [Footnote: +A good deal of the mystification is lost in the translation through +the necessity of occasionally putting _it_ for _casket_, and +_she_ for Élise.] + +VAL. I have not carried it off, and it is still in your house. + +HAR. (_aside_). O my beloved casket! (_To_ VALÈRE) My +treasure has not left my house? + +VAL. No, Sir. + +HAR. Well, then, tell me, have you taken any liberties with...? + +VAL. Ah! Sir, you wrong us both; the flame with which I burn is too +pure, too full of respect. + +HAR. (_aside_). He burns for my casket! + +VAL. I had rather die than show the least offensive thought: I found +too much modesty and too much purity for that. + +HAR. (_aside_). My cash-box modest! + +VAL. All my desires were limited to the pleasures of sight, and +nothing criminal has profaned the passion those fair eyes have +inspired me with. + +HAR. (_aside_). The fair eyes of my cash-box! He speaks of it as +a lover does of his mistress. + +VAL. Dame Claude knows the whole truth, and she can bear witness to +it. + +HAR. Hallo! my servant is an accomplice in this affair? + +VAL. Yes, Sir, she was a witness to our engagement; and it was after +being sure of the innocence of my love that she helped me to persuade +your daughter to engage herself to me. + +HAR. Ah! (_Aside_) Has the fear of justice made him lose his +senses? (_To_ VALÈRE) What rubbish are you talking about my +daughter? + +VAL. I say, Sir, that I found it most difficult to make her modesty +consent to what my love asked of her. + +HAR. The modesty of whom? + +VAL. Of your daughter; and it was only yesterday that she could make +up her mind to sign our mutual promise of marriage. + +HAR. My daughter has signed a promise of marriage? + +VAL. Yes, Sir, and I have also signed. + +HAR. O heavens! another misfortune! + +JAC. (_to the_ OFFICER). Write, Sir, write. + +HAR. Aggravation of misery! Excess of despair! (_To the_ OFFICER) +Sir, discharge your duty, and draw me up an indictment against him as +a thief and a suborner. + +JAC. As a thief and a suborner. + +VAL. These are names which I do not deserve, and when you know who I +am.... + + + + +SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, VALÈRE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES, +THE POLICE OFFICER. + + +HAR. Ah! guilty daughter! unworthy of a father like me! is it thus +that you put into practice the lessons I have given you? You give your +love to an infamous thief, and engage yourself to him without my +consent! But you shall both be disappointed. (_To_ ÉLISE) Four +strong walls will answer for your conduct in the future; (_to_ +VALÈRE) and good gallows, impudent thief, shall do me justice for your +audacity. + +VAL. Your anger will be no judge in this affair, and I shall at least +have a hearing before I am condemned. + +HAR. I was wrong to say gallows; you shall be broken alive on the +wheel. + +ELI. (_kneeling to her father_). Ah! my father, be more merciful, +I beseech you, and do not let your paternal authority drive matters to +extremes. Do not suffer yourself to be carried away by the first +outburst of your anger, but give yourself time to consider what you +do. Take the trouble of inquiring about him whose conduct has offended +you. He is not what you imagine, and you will think it less strange +that I should have given myself to him, when you know that without him +you would long ago have lost me for ever. Yes, father, it is he who +saved me from the great danger I ran in the waters, and to whom you +owe the life of that very daughter who.... + +HAR. All this is nothing; and it would have been much better for me if +he had suffered you to be drowned rather than do what he has done. + +ELI. My father, I beseech you, in the name of paternal love, grant +me.... + +HAR. No, no. I will hear nothing, and justice must have its course. + +JAC. (_aside_). You shall pay me for the blows you gave me. + +FRO. What a perplexing state of affairs! + + + + +SCENE V.--ANSELME, HARPAGON, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE, VALÈRE, THE +POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES. + + +ANS. What can have happened, Mr. Harpagon? You are quite upset. + +HAR. Ah, Mr. Anselme, you see in me the most unfortunate of men; and +you can never imagine what vexation and disorder is connected with the +contract you have come to sign! I am attacked in my property; I am +attacked in my honour; and you see there a scoundrel and a wretch who +has violated the most sacred rights, who has introduced himself into +my house as a servant in order to steal my money, and seduce my +daughter. + +VAL. Who ever thought of your money about which you rave? + +HAR. Yes; they have given each other a promise of marriage. This +insult concerns you, Mr. Anselme; and it is you who ought to be +plaintiff against him, and who at your own expense ought to prosecute +him to the utmost, in order to be revenged. + +ANS. It is not my intention to force anybody to marry me, and to lay +claim to a heart which has already bestowed itself; but as far as your +interests are concerned, I am ready to espouse them as if they were my +own. + +HAR. This is the gentleman, an honest commissary, who has promised +that he will omit nothing of what concerns the duties of his office. +(_To the_ OFFICER, _showing_ VALÈRE) Charge him, Sir, as he +ought to be, and make matters very criminal. + +VAL. I do not see what crime they can make of my passion for your +daughter, nor the punishment you think I ought to be condemned to for +our engagement; when it is known who I am.... + +HAR. I don't care a pin for all those stories, and the world is full, +nowadays, of those pretenders to nobility, of those impostors, who +take advantage of their obscurity and deck themselves out insolently +with the first illustrious name that comes into their head. + +VAL. Know that I am too upright to adorn myself with a name which is +not mine, and that all Naples can bear testimony to my birth! + +ANS. Softly! Take care of what you are about to say. You speak before +a man to whom all Naples is known, and who can soon see if your story +is true. + +VAL. (_proudly putting on his hat_). I am not the man to fear +anything; and if all Naples is known to you, you know who was Don +Thomas d'Alburci. + +ANS. Certainly; I know who he is, and few people know him better than +I do. + +HAR. I care neither for Don Thomas nor Don Martin. (_Seeing two +candles burning, he blows one out_.) + +ANS. Have patience and let him speak; we shall soon know what he has +to say of him. + +VAL. That it is to him that I owe my birth. + +ANS. To him? + +VAL. Yes. + +ANS. Nonsense; you are laughing. Try and make out a more likely story, +and don't pretend to shelter yourself under such a piece of imposture. + +VAL. Consider your words better before you speak; it is no imposture, +and I say nothing here that I cannot prove. + +ANS. What! You dare to call yourself the son of Don Thomas d'Alburci? + +VAL. Yes, I dare to do so; and I am ready to maintain the truth +against anyone, who ever he may be. + +ANS. This audacity is marvellous. Learn to your confusion that it is +now at least sixteen years ago since the man of whom you speak died in +a shipwreck at sea with his wife and children, when he was trying to +save their lives from the cruel persecutions which accompanied the +troubles at Naples, and which caused the banishment of several noble +families. VAL. Yes; but learn to your confusion that his son, seven +years of age, was, with a servant, saved from the wreck by a Spanish +vessel, and that this son is he who now speaks to you. Learn that the +captain of that ship, touched with compassion at my misfortune, loved +me; that he had me brought up as his own son, and that the profession +of arms has been my occupation ever since I was fit for it; that +lately I heard that my father is not dead, as I thought he was; that, +passing this way to go and find him out, an accident, arranged by +heaven, brought to my sight the charming Élise; that the sight of her +made me a slave to her beauty, and that the violence of my love and +the harshness of her father made me take the resolution to come into +his house disguised as a servant, and to send some one else to look +after my parents. + +ANS. But what other proofs have you besides your own words that all +this is not a fable based by you upon truth. + +VAL. What proofs? The captain of the Spanish vessel; a ruby seal which +belonged to my father; an agate bracelet which my mother put upon my +arm; and old Pedro, that servant who was saved with me from the wreck. + +MAR. Alas! I can answer here for what you have said; that you do not +deceive us; and all you say clearly tells me that you are my brother. + +VAL. You my sister! + +MAR. Yes, my heart was touched as soon as you began to speak; and our +mother, who will be delighted at seeing you, often told me of the +misfortunes of our family. Heaven spared us also in that dreadful +wreck; but our life was spared at the cost of our liberty, for my +mother and myself were taken up by pirates from the wreck of our +vessel. After ten years of slavery a lucky event gave us back to +liberty, and we returned to Naples, where we found all our property +sold, and could hear no news of our father. We embarked for Genoa, +where my mother went to gather what remained of a family estate which +had been much disputed. Leaving her unjust relatives, she came here, +where she has lived but a weary life. + +ANS. O heaven! how wonderful are thy doings, and how true it is that +it only belongs to thee to work miracles! Come to my arms, my +children, and share the joy of your happy father! + +VAL. You are our father? + +MAR. It was for you that my mother wept? + +ANS. Yes, my daughter; yes, my son; I am Don Thomas d'Alburci, whom +heaven saved from the waves, with all the money he had with him, and +who, after sixteen years, believing you all dead, was preparing, after +long journeys, to seek the consolations of a new family in marrying a +gentle and virtuous woman. The little security there was for my life +in Naples has made me abandon the idea of returning there, and having +found the means of selling what I had, I settled here under the name +of Anselme. I wished to forget the sorrows of a name associated with +so many and great troubles. + +HAR. (_to_ ANSELME). He is your son? + +ANS. Yes. + +HAR. That being so, I make you responsible for the ten thousand crowns +that he has stolen from me. + +ANS. He steal anything from you! + +HAR. Yes. + +VAL. Who said so? + +HAR. Master Jacques. + +VAL. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES). You say that? + +JAC. You see that I am not saying anything. + +HAR. He certainly did. There is the officer who has received his +deposition. + +VAL. Can you really believe me capable of such a base action? + +HAR. Capable or not capable, I must find my money. + + + + +SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ANSELME, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, +FROSINE, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES, LA FLÈCHE. + + +CLE. Do not grieve for your money, father, and accuse any one. I have +news of it, and I come here to tell you that if you consent to let me +marry Marianne, your money will be given back to you. + +HAR. Where is it? + +CLE. Do not trouble yourself about that. It is in a safe place, and I +answer for it; everything depends on your resolve. It is for you to +decide, and you have the choice either of losing Marianne or your +cash-box. + +HAR. Has nothing been taken out? + +CLE. Nothing at all. Is it your intention to agree to this marriage, +and to join your consent to that of her mother, who leaves her at +liberty to do as she likes? + +MAR. (_to_ CLÉANTE). But you do not know that this consent is no +longer sufficient, and that heaven has given me back a brother +(_showing_ VALÈRE), at the same time that it has given me back a +father (_showing_ ANSELME); and you have now to obtain me from +him. + +ANS. Heaven, my dear children, has not restored you to me that I might +oppose your wishes. Mr. Harpagon, you must be aware that the choice of +a young girl is more likely to fall upon the son than upon the father. +Come, now, do not force people to say to you what is unnecessary, and +consent, as I do, to this double marriage. + +HAR. In order for me to be well advised, I must see my casket. + +CLE. You shall see it safe and sound. + +HAR. I have no money to give my children in marriage. + +ANS. Never mind, I have some; do not let this trouble you. + +HAR. Do you take upon yourself to defray the expenses of these two +weddings? + +ANS. Yes, I will take this responsibility upon myself. Are you +satisfied? + +HAR. Yes, provided you order me a new suit of clothes for the wedding. + +ANS. Agreed! Let us go and enjoy the blessings this happy day brings +us. + +OFF. Stop, Sirs, stop; softly, if you please. Who is to pay me for my +writing? + +HAR. We have nothing to do with your writing. + +OFF. Indeed! and yet I do not pretend to have done it for nothing. + +HAR. (_showing_ MASTER JACQUES). There is a fellow you can hang +in payment! + +JAC. Alas! what is one to do? I receive a good cudgelling for telling +the truth, and now they would hang me for lying. + +ANS. Mr. Harpagon, you must forgive him this piece of imposture. + +HAR. You will pay the officer then? + +ANS. Let it be so. Let us go quickly, my children, to share our joy +with your mother! + +HAR. 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