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+The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Miser (L'Avare), by Molière, Translated
+by Charles Heron Wall
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Miser (L'Avare)
+
+
+Author: Molière
+
+
+
+Release Date: February 11, 2003  [eBook #6923]
+Most recently updated: January 6, 2009
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MISER (L'AVARE)***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Delphine Lettau and the Project Gutenberg Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net)
+
+
+
+THE MISER. (L'AVARE.)
+
+by
+
+MOLIERE
+
+Translated into English Prose
+
+With a Short Introduction and Explanatory Notes.
+
+by
+
+CHARLES HERON WALL
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+This play was acted for the first time on September 9, 1668. In it,
+Moliere has borrowed from Plautus, and has imitated several other
+authors, but he far surpasses them in the treatment of his subject.
+The picture of the miser, in whom love of money takes the place of all
+natural affections, who not only withdraws from family intercourse,
+but considers his children as natural enemies, is finely drawn, and
+renders Moliere's Miser altogether more dramatic and moral than those
+of his predecessors.
+
+Moliere acted the part of Harpagon.
+
+
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+
+HARPAGON, _father to_ CLEANTE, _in love with_ MARIANNE.
+CLEANTE, HARPAGON'S _son, lover to_ MARIANNE.
+VALERE, _son to_ ANSELME, _and lover to_ ELISE.
+ANSELME, _father to_ VALERE _and_ MARIANNE.
+MASTER SIMON, _broker_.
+MASTER JACQUES, _cook and coachman to_ HARPAGON.
+LA FLECHE, _valet to_ CLEANTE.
+BRINDAVOINE _and_ LA MERLUCHE, _lackeys to_ HARPAGON.
+A MAGISTRATE _and his_ CLERK.
+ELISE, _daughter to_ HARPAGON.
+MARIANNE, _daughter to_ ANSELME.
+FROSINE, _an intriguing woman_.
+MISTRESS CLAUDE, _servant to_ HARPAGON.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_The scene is at_ PARIS, _in_ HARPAGON'S _house_.
+
+
+
+
+THE MISER.
+
+
+
+ACT I.
+
+SCENE I.--VALERE, ELISE.
+
+
+VAL. What, dear Elise! you grow sad after having given me such dear
+tokens of your love; and I see you sigh in the midst of my joy! Can
+you regret having made me happy? and do you repent of the engagement
+which my love has forced from you?
+
+ELI. No, Valere, I do not regret what I do for you; I feel carried on
+by too delightful a power, and I do not even wish that things should
+be otherwise than they are. Yet, to tell you the truth, I am very
+anxious about the consequences; and I greatly fear that I love you
+more than I should.
+
+VAL. What can you possibly fear from the affection you have shown me?
+
+ELI. Everything; the anger of my father, the reproaches of my family,
+the censure of the world, and, above all, Valere, a change in your
+heart! I fear that cruel coldness with which your sex so often repays
+the too warm proofs of an innocent love.
+
+VAL. Alas! do not wrong me thus; do not judge of me by others. Think
+me capable of everything, Elise, except of falling short of what I owe
+to you. I love you too much for that; and my love will be as lasting
+as my life!
+
+ELI. Ah! Valere, all men say the same thing; all men are alike in
+their words; their actions only show the difference that exists
+between them.
+
+VAL. Then why not wait for actions, if by them alone you can judge of
+the truthfulness of my heart? Do not suffer your anxious fears to
+mislead you, and to wrong me. Do not let an unjust suspicion destroy
+the happiness which is to me dearer than life; but give me time to
+show you by a thousand proofs the sincerity of my affection.
+
+ELI. Alas! how easily do we allow ourselves to be persuaded by those
+we love. I believe you, Valere; I feel sure that your heart is utterly
+incapable of deceiving me, that your love is sincere, and that you
+will ever remain faithful to me. I will no longer doubt that happiness
+is near. If I grieve, it will only be over the difficulties of our
+position, and the possible censures of the world.
+
+VAL. But why even this fear?
+
+ELI. Oh, Valere! if everybody knew you as I do, I should not have much
+to fear. I find in you enough to justify all I do for you; my heart
+knows all your merit, and feels, moreover, bound to you by deep
+gratitude. How can I forget that horrible moment when we met for the
+first time? Your generous courage in risking your own life to save
+mine from the fury of the waves; your tender care afterwards; your
+constant attentions and your ardent love, which neither time nor
+difficulties can lessen! For me you neglect your parents and your
+country; you give up your own position in life to be a servant of my
+father! How can I resist the influence that all this has over me? Is
+it not enough to justify in my eyes my engagement to you? Yet, who
+knows if it will be enough to justify it in the eyes of others? and
+how can I feel sure that my motives will be understood?
+
+VAL. You try in vain to find merit in what I have done; it is by my
+love alone that I trust to deserve you. As for the scruples you feel,
+your father himself justifies you but too much before the world; and
+his avarice and the distant way in which he lives with his children
+might authorise stranger things still. Forgive me, my dear Elise, for
+speaking thus of your father before you; but you know that,
+unfortunately, on this subject no good can be said of him. However, if
+I can find my parents, as I fully hope I shall, they will soon be
+favourable to us. I am expecting news of them with great impatience;
+but if none comes I will go in search of them myself.
+
+ELI. Oh no! Valere, do not leave me, I entreat you. Try rather to
+ingratiate yourself in my father's favour.
+
+VAL. You know how much I wish it, and you can see how I set about it.
+You know the skilful manoeuvres I have had to use in order to
+introduce myself into his service; under what a mask of sympathy and
+conformity of tastes I disguise my own feelings to please him; and
+what a part I play to acquire his affection. I succeed wonderfully
+well, and I feel that to obtain favour with men, there are no better
+means than to pretend to be of their way of thinking, to fall in with
+their maxims, to praise their defects, and to applaud all their
+doings. One need not fear to overdo it, for however gross the
+flattery, the most cunning are easily duped; there is nothing so
+impertinent or ridiculous which they will not believe, provided it be
+well seasoned with praise. Honesty suffers, I acknowledge; but when we
+have need of men, we may be allowed without blame to adapt ourselves
+to their mode of thought; and if we have no other hope of success but
+through such stratagem, it is not after all the fault of those who
+flatter, but the fault of those who wish to be flattered.
+
+ELI. Why do you not try also to gain my brother's goodwill, in case
+the servant should betray our secret?
+
+VAL. I am afraid I cannot humour them both. The temper of the father
+is so different from that of the son that it would be difficult to be
+the confidant of both at the same time. Rather try your brother
+yourself; make use of the love that exists between you to enlist him
+in our cause. I leave you, for I see him coming. Speak to him, sound
+him, and see how far we can trust him.
+
+ELI. I greatly fear I shall never have the courage to speak to him of
+my secret.
+
+
+SCENE II.--CLEANTE, ELISE,
+
+CLE. I am very glad to find you alone, sister. I longed to speak to
+you and to tell you a secret.
+
+ELI. I am quite ready to hear you, brother. What is it you have to
+tell me?
+
+CLE. Many things, sister, summed up in one word--love.
+
+ELI. You love?
+
+CLE. Yes, I love. But, before I say more, let me tell you that I know
+I depend on my father, and that the name of son subjects me to his
+will; that it would be wrong to engage ourselves without the consent
+of the authors of our being; that heaven has made them the masters of
+our affections, and that it is our duty not to dispose of ourselves
+but in accordance to their wish; that their judgment is not biassed by
+their being in love themselves; that they are, therefore, much more
+likely not to be deceived by appearances, and to judge better what is
+good for us; that we ought to trust their experience rather than the
+passion which blinds us; and that the rashness of youth often carries
+us to the very brink of dangerous abysses. I know all this, my sister,
+and I tell it you to spare you the trouble of saying it to me, for my
+love will not let me listen to anything, and I pray you to spare me
+your remonstrances.
+
+ELI. Have you engaged yourself, brother, to her you love?
+
+CLE. No, but I have determined to do so; and I beseech you once more
+not to bring forward any reason to dissuade me from it.
+
+ELI. Am I such a very strange person, brother?
+
+CLE. No, dear sister; but you do not love. You know not the sweet
+power that love has upon our hearts; and I dread your wisdom.
+
+ELI. Alas! my brother, let us not speak of my wisdom. There are very
+few people in this world who do not lack wisdom, were it only once in
+their lifetime; and if I opened my heart to you, perhaps you would
+think me less wise than you are yourself.
+
+CLE. Ah! would to heaven that your heart, like mine ...
+
+ELI. Let us speak of you first, and tell me whom it is you love.
+
+CLE. A young girl who has lately come to live in our neighbourhood,
+and who seems made to inspire love in all those who behold her.
+Nature, my dear sister, has made nothing more lovely; and I felt
+another man the moment I saw her. Her name is Marianne, and she lives
+with a good, kind mother, who is almost always ill, and for whom the
+dear girl shows the greatest affection. She waits upon her, pities and
+comforts her with a tenderness that would touch you to the very soul.
+Whatever she undertakes is done in the most charming way; and in all
+her actions shine a wonderful grace, a most winning gentleness, an
+adorable modesty, a ... ah! my sister, how I wish you had but seen
+her.
+
+ELI. I see many things in what you tell me, dear brother; and it is
+sufficient for me to know that you love her for me to understand what
+she is.
+
+CLE. I have discovered, without their knowing it, that they are not in
+very good circumstances, and that, although they live with the
+greatest care, they have barely enough to cover their expenses. Can
+you imagine, my sister, what happiness it must be to improve the
+condition of those we love; skilfully to bring about some relief to
+the modest wants of a virtuous family? And think what grief it is for
+me to find myself deprived of this great joy through the avarice of a
+father, and for it to be impossible for me to give any proof of my
+love to her who is all in all to me.
+
+ELI. Yes, I understand, dear brother, what sorrow this must be to you.
+
+CLE. It is greater, my sister, than you can believe. For is there
+anything more cruel than this mean economy to which we are subjected?
+this strange penury in which we are made to pine? What good will it do
+us to have a fortune if it only comes to us when we are not able to
+enjoy it; if now to provide for my daily maintenance I get into debt
+on every side; if both you and I are reduced daily to beg the help of
+tradespeople in order to have decent clothes to wear? In short, I
+wanted to speak to you that you might help me to sound my father
+concerning my present feelings; and if I find him opposed to them, I
+am determined to go and live elsewhere with this most charming girl,
+and to make the best of what Providence offers us. I am trying
+everywhere to raise money for this purpose; and if your circumstances,
+dear sister, are like mine, and our father opposes us, let us both
+leave him, and free ourselves from the tyranny in which his hateful
+avarice has for so long held us.
+
+ELI. It is but too true that every day he gives us more and more
+reason to regret the death of our mother, and that ...
+
+CLE. I hear his voice. Let us go a little farther and finish our talk.
+We will afterwards join our forces to make a common attack on his hard
+and unkind heart.
+
+
+SCENE III.--HARPAGON, LA FLECHE.
+
+HAR. Get out of here, this moment; and let me have no more of your
+prating. Now then, be gone out of my house, you sworn pickpocket, you
+veritable gallows' bird.
+
+LA FL. (_aside_). I never saw anything more wicked than this
+cursed old man; and I truly believe, if I may be allowed to say so,
+that he is possessed with a devil.
+
+HAR. What are you muttering there between your teeth?
+
+LA FL. Why do you send me away?
+
+HAR. You dare to ask me my reasons, you scoundrel? Out with you, this
+moment, before I give you a good thrashing.
+
+LA FL. What have I done to you?
+
+HAR. Done this, that I wish you to be off.
+
+LA FL. My master, your son, gave me orders to wait for him.
+
+HAR. Go and wait for him in the street, then; out with you; don't stay
+in my house, straight and stiff as a sentry, to observe what is going
+on, and to make your profit of everything. I won't always have before
+me a spy on all my affairs; a treacherous scamp, whose cursed eyes
+watch all my actions, covet all I possess, and ferret about in every
+corner to see if there is anything to steal.
+
+LA FL. How the deuce could one steal anything from you? Are you a man
+likely to be robbed when you put every possible thing under lock and
+key, and mount guard day and night?
+
+HAR. I will lock up whatever I think fit, and mount guard when and
+where I please. Did you ever see such spies as are set upon me to take
+note of everything I do? (_Aside_) I tremble for fear he should
+suspect something of my money. (_Aloud_) Now, aren't you a fellow
+to give rise to stories about my having money hid in my house?
+
+LA FL. You have some money hid in your house?
+
+HAR. No, scoundrel! I do not say that. (_Aside_) I am furious!
+(_Aloud_) I only ask if out of mischief you do not spread abroad
+the report that I have some?
+
+LA FL. Oh! What does it matter whether you have money, or whether you
+have not, since it is all the same to us?
+
+HAR. (_raising his hand to give_ LA FLECHE _a blow_). Oh! oh! You
+want to argue, do you? I will give you, and quickly too, some few of
+these arguments about your ears. Get out of the house, I tell you once
+more.
+
+LA FL. Very well; very well. I am going.
+
+HAR. No, wait; are you carrying anything away with you?
+
+LA FL. What can I possibly carry away?
+
+HAR. Come here, and let me see. Show me your hands.
+
+LA FL. There they are.
+
+HAR. The others.
+
+LA FL. The others?
+
+HAR. Yes.
+
+LA FL. There they are.
+
+HAR. (_pointing to_ LA FLECHE'S _breeches_). Have you anything hid
+in here?
+
+LA FL. Look for yourself.
+
+HAR. (_feeling the knees of the breeches_). These wide knee-breeches
+are convenient receptacles of stolen goods; and I wish a pair of them
+had been hanged.
+
+LA FL. (_aside_). Ah! how richly such a man deserves what he fears,
+and what joy it would be to me to steal some of his ...
+
+HAR. Eh?
+
+LA FL. What?
+
+HAR. What is it you talk of stealing?
+
+LA FL. I say that you feel about everywhere to see if I have been
+stealing anything.
+
+HAR. And I mean to do so too. (_He feels in_ LA FLECHE'S _pockets_).
+
+LA FL. Plague take all misers and all miserly ways!
+
+HAR. Eh? What do you say?
+
+LA FL. What do I say?
+
+HAR. Yes. What is it you say about misers and miserly ways.
+
+LA FL. I say plague take all misers and all miserly ways.
+
+HAR. Of whom do you speak?
+
+LA FL. Of misers.
+
+HAR. And who are they, these misers?
+
+LA FL. Villains and stingy wretches!
+
+HAR. But what do you mean by that?
+
+LA FL. Why do you trouble yourself so much about what I say?
+
+HAR. I trouble myself because I think it right to do so.
+
+LA FL. Do you think I am speaking about you?
+
+HAR. I think what I think; but I insist upon your telling me to whom
+you speak when you say that.
+
+LA FL. To whom I speak? I am speaking to the inside of my hat.
+
+HAR. And I will, perhaps, speak to the outside of your head.
+
+LA FL. Would you prevent me from cursing misers?
+
+HAR. No; but I will prevent you from prating and from being insolent.
+Hold your tongue, will you?
+
+LA FL. I name nobody.
+
+HAR. Another word, and I'll thrash you.
+
+LA FL. He whom the cap fits, let him wear it.
+
+HAR. Will you be silent?
+
+LA FL. Yes; much against my will.
+
+HAR. Ah! ah!
+
+LA FL. (_showing_ HARPAGON _one of his doublet pockets_). Just look,
+here is one more pocket. Are you satisfied?
+
+HAR. Come, give it up to me without all that fuss.
+
+LA FL. Give you what?
+
+HAR. What you have stolen from me.
+
+LA FL. I have stolen nothing at all from you.
+
+HAR. Are you telling the truth?
+
+LA FL. Yes.
+
+HAR. Good-bye, then, and now you may go to the devil.
+
+LA FL. (_aside_). That's a nice way of dismissing anyone.
+
+HAR. I leave it to your conscience, remember!
+
+
+SCENE IV.--HARPAGON (_alone_.)
+
+This rascally valet is a constant vexation to me; and I hate the very
+sight of the good-for-nothing cripple. Really, it is no small anxiety
+to keep by one a large sum of money; and happy is the man who has all
+his cash well invested, and who needs not keep by him more than he
+wants for his daily expenses. I am not a little puzzled to find in the
+whole of this house a safe hiding-place. Don't speak to me of your
+strong boxes, I will never trust to them. Why, they are just the very
+things thieves set upon!
+
+
+SCENE V.--HARPAGON, ELISE _and_ CLEANTE _are seen talking together at
+the back of the stage._
+
+HAR. (_thinking himself alone_.) Meanwhile, I hardly know whether I
+did right to bury in my garden the ten thousand crowns which were paid
+to me yesterday. Ten thousand crowns in gold is a sum sufficiently ...
+(_Aside, on perceiving_ ELISE _and_ CLEANTE _whispering together_)
+Good heavens! I have betrayed myself; my warmth has carried me away. I
+believe I spoke aloud while reasoning with myself. (_To_ CLEANTE _and_
+ELISE) What do you want?
+
+CLE. Nothing, father.
+
+HAR. Have you been here long?
+
+ELI. We have only just come.
+
+HAR. Did you hear...?
+
+CLE. What, father?
+
+HAR. There...!
+
+CLE. What?
+
+HAR. What I was just now saying.
+
+CLE. No.
+
+HAR. You did. I know you did.
+
+ELI. I beg your pardon, father, but we did not.
+
+HAR. I see well enough that you overheard a few words. The fact is, I
+was only talking to myself about the trouble one has nowadays to raise
+any money; and I was saying that he is a fortunate man who has ten
+thousand crowns in his house.
+
+CLE. We were afraid of coming near you, for fear of intruding.
+
+HAR. I am very glad to tell you this, so that you may not misinterpret
+things, and imagine that I said that it was I who have ten thousand
+crowns.
+
+CLE. We do not wish to interfere in your affairs.
+
+HAR. Would that I had them, these ten thousand crowns!
+
+CLE. I should not think that ...
+
+HAR. What a capital affair it would be for me.
+
+CLE. There are things ...
+
+HAR. I greatly need them.
+
+CLE. I fancy that ...
+
+HAR. It would suit me exceedingly well.
+
+ELI. You are ...
+
+HAR. And I should not have to complain, as I do now, that the times
+are bad.
+
+CLE. Dear me, father, you have no reason to complain; and everyone
+knows that you are well enough off.
+
+HAR. How? I am well enough off! Those who say it are liars. Nothing
+can be more false; and they are scoundrels who spread such reports.
+
+ELI. Don't be angry.
+
+HAR. It is strange that my own children betray me and become my
+enemies.
+
+CLE. Is it being your enemy to say that you have wealth?
+
+HAR. Yes, it is. Such talk and your extravagant expenses will be the
+cause that some day thieves will come and cut my throat, in the belief
+that I am made of gold.
+
+CLE. What extravagant expenses do I indulge in?
+
+HAR. What! Is there anything more scandalous than this sumptuous
+attire with which you jaunt it about the town? I was remonstrating
+with your sister yesterday, but you are still worse. It cries
+vengeance to heaven; and were we to calculate all you are wearing,
+from head to foot, we should find enough for a good annuity. I have
+told you a hundred times, my son, that your manners displease me
+exceedingly; you affect the marquis terribly, and for you to be always
+dressed as you are, you must certainly rob me.
+
+CLE. Rob you? And how?
+
+HAR. How should I know? Where else could you find money enough to
+clothe yourself as you do?
+
+CLE. I, father? I play; and as I am very lucky, I spend in clothes all
+the money I win.
+
+HAR. It is very wrong. If you are lucky at play, you should profit by
+it, and place the money you win at decent interest, so that you may
+find it again some day. I should like to know, for instance, without
+mentioning the rest, what need there is for all these ribbons with
+which you are decked from head to foot, and if half a dozen tags are
+not sufficient to fasten your breeches. What necessity is there for
+anyone to spend money upon wigs, when we have hair of our own growth,
+which costs nothing. I will lay a wager that, in wigs and ribbons
+alone, there are certainly twenty pistoles spent, and twenty pistoles
+brings in at least eighteen livres six sous eight deniers per annum,
+at only eight per cent interest.
+
+CLE. You are quite right.
+
+HAR. Enough on this subject; let us talk of something else. (_Aside,
+noticing_ CLEANTE _and_ ELISE, _who make signs to one another_)
+I believe they are making signs to one another to pick my pocket.
+(_Aloud_) What do you mean by those signs?
+
+ELI. We are hesitating as to who shall speak first, for we both have
+something to tell you.
+
+HAR. And I also have something to tell you both.
+
+CLE. We wanted to speak to you about marriage, father.
+
+HAR. The very thing I wish to speak to you about.
+
+ELI. Ah! my father!
+
+HAR. What is the meaning of that exclamation? Is it the word,
+daughter, or the thing itself that frightens you?
+
+CLE. Marriage may frighten us both according to the way you take it;
+and our feelings may perhaps not coincide with your choice.
+
+HAR. A little patience, if you please. You need not be alarmed. I know
+what is good for you both, and you will have no reason to complain of
+anything I intend to do. To begin at the beginning. (_To_ CLEANTE) Do
+you know, tell me, a young person, called Marianne, who lives not far
+from here?
+
+CLE. Yes, father.
+
+HAR. And you?
+
+ELI. I have heard her spoken of.
+
+HAR. Well, my son, and how do you like the girl?
+
+CLE. She is very charming.
+
+HAR. Her face?
+
+CLE. Modest and intelligent.
+
+HAR. Her air and manner?
+
+CLE. Perfect, undoubtedly.
+
+HAR. Do you not think that such a girl well deserves to be thought of?
+
+CLE. Yes, father.
+
+HAR. She would form a very desirable match?
+
+CLE. Very desirable.
+
+HAR. That there is every likelihood of her making a thrifty and
+careful wife.
+
+CLE. Certainly.
+
+HAR. And that a husband might live very happily with her?
+
+CLE. I have not the least doubt about it.
+
+HAR. There is one little difficulty; I am afraid she has not the
+fortune we might reasonably expect.
+
+CLE. Oh, my father, riches are of little importance when one is sure
+of marrying a virtuous woman.
+
+HAR. I beg your pardon. Only there is this to be said: that if we do
+not find as much money as we could wish, we may make it up in
+something else.
+
+CLE. That follows as a matter of course.
+
+HAR. Well, I must say that I am very much pleased to find that you
+entirely agree with me, for her modest manner and her gentleness have
+won my heart; and I have made up my mind to marry her, provided I find
+she has some dowry.
+
+CLE. Eh!
+
+HAR. What now?
+
+CLE. You are resolved, you say...?
+
+HAR. To marry Marianne.
+
+CLE. Who? you? you?
+
+HAR. Yes, I, I, I. What does all this mean?
+
+CLE. I feel a sudden dizziness, and I must withdraw for a little
+while.
+
+HAR. It will be nothing. Go quickly into the kitchen and drink a large
+glass of cold water, it will soon set you all right again.
+
+
+SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ELISE.
+
+HAR. There goes one of your effeminate fops, with no more stamina than
+a chicken. That is what I have resolved for myself, my daughter. As to
+your brother, I have thought for him of a certain widow, of whom I
+heard this morning; and you I shall give to Mr. Anselme.
+
+ELI. To Mr. Anselme?
+
+HAR. Yes, a staid and prudent man, who is not above fifty, and of
+whose riches everybody speaks.
+
+ELI. (_curtseying_). I have no wish to marry, father, if you
+please.
+
+HAR. (_imitating_ ELISE). And I, my little girl, my darling, I wish
+you to marry, if you please.
+
+ELI. (_curtseying again_). I beg your pardon, my father.
+
+HAR. (_again imitating_ ELISE). I beg your pardon, my daughter.
+
+ELI. I am the very humble servant of Mr. Anselme, but (_curtseying
+again_), with your leave, I shall not marry him.
+
+HAR. I am your very humble servant, but (_again imitating_ ELISE) you
+will marry him this very evening.
+
+ELI. This evening?
+
+HAR. This evening.
+
+ELI. (_curtseying again_). It cannot be done, father.
+
+HAR. (_imitating_ ELISE). It will be done, daughter.
+
+ELI. No.
+
+HAR. Yes.
+
+ELI. No, I tell you.
+
+HAR. Yes, I tell you.
+
+ELI. You will never force me to do such a thing
+
+HAR. I will force you to it.
+
+ELI. I had rather kill myself than marry such a man.
+
+HAR. You will not kill yourself, and you will marry him. But did you
+ever see such impudence? Did ever any one hear a daughter speak in
+such a fashion to her father?
+
+ELI. But did ever anyone see a father marry his daughter after such a
+fashion?
+
+HAR. It is a match against which nothing can be said, and I am
+perfectly sure that everybody will approve of my choice.
+
+ELI. And I know that it will be approved of by no reasonable person.
+
+HAR. (_seeing_ VALERE). There is Valere coming. Shall we make him
+judge in this affair?
+
+ELI. Willingly.
+
+HAR. You will abide by what he says?
+
+ELI. Yes, whatever he thinks right, I will do.
+
+HAR. Agreed.
+
+
+SCENE VII.--VALERE, HARPAGON, ELISE.
+
+HAR. Valere, we have chosen you to decide who is in the right, my
+daughter or I.
+
+VAL. It is certainly you, Sir.
+
+HAR. But have you any idea of what we are talking about?
+
+VAL. No; but you could not be in the wrong; you are reason itself.
+
+HAR. I want to give her to-night, for a husband, a man as rich as he
+is good; and the hussy tells me to my face that she scorns to take
+him. What do you say to that?
+
+VAL. What I say to it?
+
+HAR. Yes?
+
+VAL. Eh! eh!
+
+HAR. What?
+
+VAL. I say that I am, upon the whole, of your opinion, and that you
+cannot but be right; yet, perhaps, she is not altogether wrong;
+and ...
+
+HAR. How so? Mr. Anselme is an excellent match; he is a nobleman, and
+a gentleman too; of simple habits, and extremely well off. He has no
+children left from his first marriage. Could she meet with anything
+more suitable?
+
+VAL. It is true. But she might say that you are going rather fast, and
+that she ought to have at least a little time to consider whether her
+inclination could reconcile itself to ...
+
+HAR. It is an opportunity I must not allow to slip through my fingers.
+I find an advantage here which I should not find elsewhere, and he
+agrees to take her without dowry.
+
+VAL. Without dowry?
+
+HAR. Yes.
+
+VAL. Ah! I have nothing more to say. A more convincing reason could
+not be found; and she must yield to that.
+
+HAR. It is a considerable saving to me.
+
+VAL. Undoubtedly; this admits of no contradiction. It is true that
+your daughter might represent to you that marriage is a more serious
+affair than people are apt to believe; that the happiness or misery of
+a whole life depends on it, and that an engagement which is to last
+till death ought not to be entered into without great consideration.
+
+HAR. Without dowry!
+
+VAL. That must of course decide everything. There are certainly people
+who might tell you that on such occasions the wishes of a daughter are
+no doubt to be considered, and that this great disparity of age, of
+disposition, and of feelings might be the cause of many an unpleasant
+thing in a married life.
+
+HAR. Without dowry!
+
+VAL. Ah! it must be granted that there is no reply to that; who in the
+world could think otherwise? I do not mean to say but that there are
+many fathers who would set a much higher value on the happiness of
+their daughter than on the money they may have to give for their
+marriage; who would not like to sacrifice them to their own interests,
+and who would, above all things, try to see in a marriage that sweet
+conformity of tastes which is a sure pledge of honour, tranquillity
+and joy; and that ...
+
+HAR. Without dowry!
+
+VAL. That is true; nothing more can be said.  Without dowry. How can
+anyone resist such arguments?
+
+HAR. (_aside, looking towards the garden_). Ah! I fancy I hear a dog
+barking. Is anyone after my money. (_To_ VALERE) Stop here, I'll come
+back directly.
+
+
+SCENE VIII.--ELISE, VALERE.
+
+ELI. Surely, Valere, you are not in earnest when you speak to him in
+that manner?
+
+VAL. I do it that I may not vex him, and the better to secure my ends.
+To resist him boldly would simply spoil everything. There are certain
+people who are only to be managed by indirect means, temperaments
+averse from all resistance, restive natures whom truth causes to rear,
+who always kick when we would lead them on the right road of reason,
+and who can only be led by a way opposed to that by which you wish
+them to go. Pretend to comply with his wishes; you are much more
+likely to succeed in the end, and ...
+
+ELI. But this marriage, Valere?
+
+VAL. We will find some pretext for breaking it off.
+
+ELI. But what pretext can we find if it is to be concluded to-night?
+
+VAL. You must ask to have it delayed, and must feign some illness or
+other.
+
+ELI. But he will soon discover the truth if they call in the doctor.
+
+VAL. Not a bit of it. Do you imagine that a doctor understands what he
+is about? Nonsense! Don't be afraid. Believe me, you may complain of
+any disease you please, the doctor will be at no loss to explain to
+you from what it proceeds.
+
+
+SCENE IX--HARPAGON, ELISE, VALERE.
+
+HAR. (_alone, at the farther end of the stage_). It is nothing,
+thank heaven!
+
+VAL. (_not seeing_ HARPAGON). In short, flight is the last resource we
+have left us to avoid all this; and if your love, dear Elise, is as
+strong as ... (_Seeing_ HARPAGON) Yes, a daughter is bound to obey her
+father. She has no right to inquire what a husband offered to her is
+like, and when the most important question, "without dowry," presents
+itself, she should accept anybody that is given her.
+
+HAR. Good; that was beautifully said!
+
+VAL. I beg your pardon, Sir, if I carry it a little too far, and take
+upon myself to speak to her as I do.
+
+HAR. Why, I am delighted, and I wish you to have her entirely under
+your control. (_To_ ELISE) Yes, you may run away as much as you like.
+I give him all the authority over you that heaven has given me, and I
+will have you do all that he tells you.
+
+VAL. After that, resist all my expostulations, if you can.
+
+
+SCENE X.--HARPAGON, VALERE.
+
+
+VAL. I will follow her, Sir, if you will allow me, and will continue
+the lecture I was giving her.
+
+HAR. Yes, do so; you will oblige me greatly.
+
+VAL. She ought to be kept in with a tight hand.
+
+HAR. Quite true, you must....
+
+VAL. Do not be afraid; I believe I shall end by convincing her.
+
+HAR. Do so, do so. I am going to take a short stroll in the town, and
+I will come back again presently.
+
+VAL. (_going towards the door through which_ ELISE _left, and speaking
+as if it were to her_). Yes, money is more precious than anything else
+in the world, and you should thank heaven that you have so worthy a
+man for a father. He knows what life is. When a man offers to marry a
+girl without a dowry, we ought to look no farther. Everything is
+comprised in that, and "without dowry" compensates for want of beauty,
+youth, birth, honour, wisdom, and probity.
+
+HAR. Ah! the honest fellow! he speaks like an oracle. Happy is he who
+can secure such a servant!
+
+
+
+
+ACT II.
+
+SCENE I.--CLEANTE, LA FLECHE.
+
+
+CLE. How now, you rascal! where have you been hiding? Did I not give
+you orders to...?
+
+LA FL. Yes, Sir, and I came here resolved to wait for you without
+stirring, but your father, that most ungracious of men, drove me into
+the street in spite of myself, and I well nigh got a good drubbing
+into the bargain.
+
+CLE. How is our affair progressing? Things are worse than ever for us,
+and since I left you, I have discovered that my own father is my
+rival.
+
+LA FL. Your father in love?
+
+CLE. It seems so; and I found it very difficult to hide from him what
+I felt at such a discovery.
+
+LA FL. He meddling with love! What the deuce is he thinking of? Does
+he mean to set everybody at defiance? And is love made for people of
+his build?
+
+CLE. It is to punish me for my sins that this passion has entered his
+head.
+
+LA FL. But why do you hide your love from him?
+
+CLE. That he may not suspect anything, and to make it more easy for me
+to fall back, if need be, upon some device to prevent this marriage.
+What answer did you receive?
+
+LA FL. Indeed, Sir, those who borrow are much to be pitied, and we
+must put up with strange things when, like you, we are forced to pass
+through the hands of the usurers.
+
+CLE. Then the affair won't come off?
+
+LA FL. Excuse me; Mr. Simon, the broker who was recommended to us, is
+a very active and zealous fellow, and says he has left no stone
+unturned to help you. He assures me that your looks alone have won his
+heart.
+
+CLE. Shall I have the fifteen thousand francs which I want?
+
+LA FL. Yes, but under certain trifling conditions, which you must
+accept if you wish the bargain to be concluded.
+
+CLE. Did you speak to the man who is to lend the money?
+
+LA FL. Oh! dear no. Things are not done in that way. He is still more
+anxious than you to remain unknown. These things are greater mysteries
+than you think. His name is not by any means to be divulged, and he is
+to be introduced to you to-day at a house provided by him, so that he
+may hear from yourself all about your position and your family; and I
+have not the least doubt that the mere name of your father will be
+sufficient to accomplish what you wish.
+
+CLE. Particularly as my mother is dead, and they cannot deprive me of
+what I inherit from her.
+
+LA FL. Well, here are some of the conditions which he has himself
+dictated to our go-between for you to take cognisance of, before
+anything is begun.
+
+"Supposing that the lender is satisfied with all his securities, and
+that the borrower is of age and of a family whose property is ample,
+solid, secure, and free from all incumbrances, there shall be drawn up
+a good and correct bond before as honest a notary as it is possible to
+find, and who for this purpose shall be chosen by the lender, because
+he is the more concerned of the two that the bond should be rightly
+executed."
+
+CLE. There is nothing to say against that.
+
+LA FL. "The lender, not to burden his conscience with the least
+scruple, does not wish to lend his money at more than five and a half
+per cent."
+
+CLE. Five and a half per cent? By Jove, that's honest! We have nothing
+to complain of.
+
+LA FL. That's true.
+
+"But as the said lender has not in hand the sum required, and as, in
+order to oblige the borrower, he is himself obliged to borrow from
+another at the rate of twenty per cent., it is but right that the said
+first borrower shall pay this interest, without detriment to the rest;
+since it is only to oblige him that the said lender is himself forced
+to borrow."
+
+CLE. The deuce! What a Jew! what a Turk we have here! That is more
+than twenty-five per cent.
+
+LA FL. That's true; and it is the remark I made. It is for you to
+consider the matter before you act.
+
+CLE. How can I consider? I want the money, and I must therefore accept
+everything.
+
+LA FL. That is exactly what I answered.
+
+CLE. Is there anything else?
+
+LA FL. Only a small item.
+
+"Of the fifteen thousand francs which are demanded, the lender will
+only be able to count down twelve thousand in hard cash; instead of
+the remaining three thousand, the borrower will have to take the
+chattels, clothing, and jewels, contained in the following catalogue,
+and which the said lender has put in all good faith at the lowest
+possible figure."
+
+CLE. What is the meaning of all that?
+
+LA FL. I'll go through the catalogue:--
+
+"Firstly:--A fourpost bedstead, with hangings of Hungary lace very
+elegantly trimmed with olive-coloured cloth, and six chairs and a
+counterpane to match; the whole in very good condition, and lined with
+soft red and blue shot-silk. Item:--the tester of good pale pink
+Aumale serge, with the small and the large fringes of silk."
+
+CLE. What does he want me to do with all this?
+
+LA FL. Wait.
+
+"Item:--Tapestry hangings representing the loves of Gombaud and
+Macee.[1] Item:--A large walnut table with twelve columns or turned
+legs, which draws out at both ends, and is provided beneath with six
+stools."
+
+CLE. Hang it all! What am I to do with all this?
+
+LA FL. Have patience.
+
+"Item:--Three large matchlocks inlaid with mother-of-pearl, with rests
+to correspond. Item:--A brick furnace with two retorts and three
+receivers, very useful to those who have any taste for distilling."
+
+CLE. You will drive me crazy.
+
+LA FL. Gently!
+
+"Item:--A Bologna lute with all its strings, or nearly all. Item:--A
+pigeon-hole table and a draught-board, and a game of mother goose,
+restored from the Greeks, most useful to pass the time when one has
+nothing to do. Item:--A lizard's skin, three feet and a half in
+length, stuffed with hay, a pleasing curiosity to hang on the ceiling
+of a room. The whole of the above-mentioned articles are really worth
+more than four thousand five hundred francs, and are reduced to the
+value of a thousand crowns through the considerateness of the lender."
+
+CLE. Let the plague choke him with his considerateness, the wretch,
+the cut-throat that he is! Did ever anyone hear of such usury? Is he
+not satisfied with the outrageous interest he asks that he must force
+me to take, instead of the three thousand francs, all the old rubbish
+which he picks up. I shan't get two hundred crowns for all that, and
+yet I must bring myself to yield to all his wishes; for he is in a
+position to force me to accept everything, and he has me, the villain,
+with a knife at my throat.
+
+LA FL. I see you, Sir, if you'll forgive my saying so, on the
+high-road followed by Panurge[2] to ruin himself--taking money in
+advance, buying dear, selling cheap, and cutting your corn while it is
+still grass.
+
+CLE. What would you have me do? It is to this that young men are
+reduced by the accursed avarice of their fathers; and people are
+astonished after that, that sons long for their death.
+
+LA FL. No one can deny that yours would excite against his meanness
+the most quiet of men. I have not, thank God, any inclination
+gallows-ward, and among my colleagues whom I see dabbling in various
+doubtful affairs, I know well enough how to keep myself out of hot
+water, and how to keep clear of all those things which savour ever so
+little of the ladder; but to tell you the truth, he almost gives me,
+by his ways of going on, the desire of robbing him, and I should think
+that in doing so I was doing a meritorious action.
+
+CLE. Give me that memorandum that I may have another look at it.
+
+
+SCENE II.--HARPAGON, MR. SIMON (CLEANTE _and_ LA FLECHE _at the back
+of the stage_).
+
+SIM. Yes, Sir; it is a young man who is greatly in want of money; his
+affairs force him to find some at any cost, and he will submit to all
+your conditions.
+
+HAR. But are you sure, Mr. Simon, that there is no risk to run in this
+case? and do you know the name, the property, and the family of him
+for whom you speak?
+
+SIM. No; I cannot tell you anything for certain, as it was by mere
+chance that I was made acquainted with him; but he will tell you
+everything himself, and his servant has assured me that you will be
+quite satisfied when you know who he is. All I can tell you is that
+his family is said to be very wealthy, that he has already lost his
+mother, and that he will pledge you his word, if you insist upon it,
+that his father will die before eight months are passed.
+
+HAR. That is something. Charity, Mr. Simon, demands of us to gratify
+people whenever we have it in our power.
+
+SIM. Evidently.
+
+LA FL. (_aside to_ CLEANTE, _on recognising_ MR. SIMON). What does
+this mean? Mr. Simon talking with your father!
+
+CLE. (_aside to_ LA FLECHE). Has he been told who I am, and would you
+be capable of betraying me?
+
+SIM. (_to_ CLEANTE _and_ LA FLECHE). Ah! you are in good time! But who
+told you to come here? (_To_ HARPAGON) It was certainly not I who told
+them your name and address; but I am of opinion that there is no great
+harm done; they are people who can be trusted, and you can come to
+some understanding together.
+
+HAR. What!
+
+SIM. (_showing_ CLEANTE). This is the gentleman who wants to borrow
+the fifteen thousand francs of which I have spoken to you.
+
+HAR. What! miscreant! is it you who abandon yourself to such excesses?
+
+CLE. What! father! is it you who stoop to such shameful deeds?
+
+(MR. SIMON _runs away, and_ LA FLECHE _hides himself_.)
+
+
+SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE.
+
+HAR. It is you who are ruining yourself by loans so greatly to be
+condemned!
+
+CLE. So it is you who seek to enrich yourself by such criminal usury!
+
+HAR. And you dare, after that, to show yourself before me?
+
+CLE. And you dare, after that, to show yourself to the world?
+
+HAR. Are you not ashamed, tell me, to descend to these wild excesses,
+to rush headlong into frightful expenses, and disgracefully to
+dissipate the wealth which your parents have amassed with so much
+toil.
+
+CLE. Are you not ashamed of dishonouring your station by such
+dealings, of sacrificing honour and reputation to the insatiable
+desire of heaping crown upon crown, and of outdoing the most infamous
+devices that have ever been invented by the most notorious usurers?
+
+HAR. Get out of my sight, you reprobate; get out of my sight!
+
+CLE. Who is the more criminal in your opinion: he who buys the money
+of which he stands in need, or he who obtains, by unfair means, money
+for which he has no use?
+
+HAR. Begone, I say, and do not provoke me to anger. (_Alone_) After
+all, I am not very much vexed at this adventure; it will be a lesson
+to me to keep a better watch over all his doings.
+
+
+SCENE IV.--FROSINE, HARPAGON.
+
+FRO. Sir.
+
+HAR. Wait a moment, I will come back and speak to you. (_Aside_) I had
+better go and see a little after my money.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE V.--LA FLECHE, FROSINE.
+
+
+LA FL. (_without seeing_ FROSINE). The adventure is most comical.
+Hidden somewhere he must have a large store of goods of all kinds, for
+the list did not contain one single article which either of us
+recognised.
+
+FRO. Hallo! is it you, my poor La Fleche? How is it we meet here?
+
+LA FL. Ah! ah! it is you, Frosine; and what have you come to do here?
+
+FRO. What have I come to do? Why! what I do everywhere else, busy
+myself about other people's affairs, make myself useful to the
+community in general, and profit as much as I possibly can by the
+small talent I possess. Must we not live by our wits in this world?
+and what other resources have people like me but intrigue and cunning?
+
+LA FL. Have you, then, any business with the master of this house?
+
+FRO. Yes. I am transacting for him a certain small matter for which he
+is pretty sure to give me a reward.
+
+LA FL. He give you a reward! Ah! ah! Upon my word, you will be 'cute
+if you ever get one, and I warn you that ready money is very scarce
+hereabouts.
+
+FRO. That may be, but there are certain services which wonderfully
+touch our feelings.
+
+LA FL. Your humble servant; but as yet you don't know Harpagon.
+Harpagon is the human being of all human beings the least humane, the
+mortal of all mortals the hardest and closest. There is no service
+great enough to induce him to open his purse. If, indeed, you want
+praise, esteem, kindness, and friendship, you are welcome to any
+amount; but money, that's a different affair. There is nothing more
+dry, more barren, than his favour and his good grace, and "_give_" is
+a word for which he has such a strong dislike that he never says _I
+give_, but _I lend, you a good morning_.
+
+FRO. That's all very well; but I know the art of fleecing men. I have
+a secret of touching their affections by flattering their hearts, and
+of finding out their weak points.
+
+LA FL. All useless here. I defy you to soften, as far as money is
+concerned, the man we are speaking of. He is a Turk on that point, of
+a Turkishness to drive anyone to despair, and we might starve in his
+presence and never a peg would he stir. In short, he loves money
+better than reputation, honour, and virtue, and the mere sight of
+anyone making demands upon his purse sends him into convulsions; it is
+like striking him in a vital place, it is piercing him to the heart,
+it is like tearing out his very bowels! And if ... But here he comes
+again; I leave you.
+
+
+SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, FROSINE.
+
+HAR. (_aside_). All is as it should be. (_To_ FROSINE) Well, what is
+it, Frosine?
+
+FRO. Bless me, how well you look! You are the very picture of health.
+
+HAR. Who? I?
+
+FRO. Never have I seen you looking more rosy, more hearty.
+
+HAR. Are you in earnest?
+
+FRO. Why! you have never been so young in your life; and I know many a
+man of twenty-five who looks much older than you do.
+
+HAR. And yet, Frosine, I have passed threescore.
+
+FRO. Threescore! Well, and what then? You don't mean to make a trouble
+of that, do you? It's the very flower of manhood, the threshold of the
+prime of life.
+
+HAR. True; but twenty years less would do me no harm, I think.
+
+FRO. Nonsense! You've no need of that, and you are of a build to last
+out a hundred.
+
+HAR. Do you really think so?
+
+FRO. Decidedly. You have all the appearance of it. Hold yourself up a
+little. Ah! what a sign of long life is that line there straight
+between your two eyes!
+
+HAR. You know all about that, do you?
+
+FRO. I should think I do. Show me your hand. [3] [Footnote: Frosine
+professes a knowledge of palmistry.] Dear me, what a line of life
+there is there!
+
+HAR. Where?
+
+FRO. Don't you see how far this line goes?
+
+HAR. Well, and what does it mean?
+
+FRO. What does it mean? There ... I said a hundred years; but no, it
+is one hundred and twenty I ought to have said.
+
+HAR. Is it possible?
+
+FRO. I tell you they will have to kill you, and you will bury your
+children and your children's children.
+
+HAR. So much the better! And what news of our affair?
+
+FRO. Is there any need to ask? Did ever anyone see me begin anything
+and not succeed in it? I have, especially for matchmaking, the most
+wonderful talent. There are no two persons in the world I could not
+couple together; and I believe that, if I took it into my head, I
+could make the Grand Turk marry the Republic of Venice.[4] But we had,
+to be sure, no such difficult thing to achieve in this matter. As I
+know the ladies very well, I told them every particular about you; and
+I acquainted the mother with your intentions towards Marianne since
+you saw her pass in the street and enjoy the fresh air out of her
+window.
+
+HAR. What did she answer...?
+
+FRO. She received your proposal with great joy; and when I told her
+that you wished very much that her daughter should come to-night to
+assist at the marriage contract which is to be signed for your own
+daughter, she assented at once, and entrusted her to me for the
+purpose.
+
+HAR. You see, Frosine, I am obliged to give some supper to Mr.
+Anselme, and I should like her to have a share in the feast.
+
+FRO. You are quite right. She is to come after dinner to pay a visit
+to your daughter; then she means to go from here to the fair, and
+return to your house just in time for supper.
+
+HAR. That will do very well; they shall go together in my carriage,
+which I will lend them.
+
+FRO. That will suit her perfectly.
+
+HAR. But I say, Frosine, have you spoken to the mother about the dowry
+she can give her daughter? Did you make her understand that under such
+circumstances she ought to do her utmost and to make a great
+sacrifice? For, after all, one does not marry a girl without her
+bringing something with her.
+
+FRO. How something! She is a girl who will bring you a clear twelve
+thousand francs a year?
+
+HAR. Twelve thousand francs a year?
+
+FRO. Yes! To begin with, she has been nursed and brought up with the
+strictest notions of frugality. She is a girl accustomed to live upon
+salad, milk, cheese, and apples, and who consequently will require
+neither a well served up table, nor any rich broth, nor your
+everlasting peeled barley; none, in short, of all those delicacies
+that another woman would want. This is no small matter, and may well
+amount to three thousand francs yearly. Besides this, she only cares
+for simplicity and neatness; she will have none of those splendid
+dresses and rich jewels, none of that sumptuous furniture in which
+girls like her indulge so extravagantly; and this item is worth more
+than four thousand francs per annum. Lastly, she has the deepest
+aversion to gambling; and this is not very common nowadays among
+women. Why, I know of one in our neighbourhood who lost at least
+twenty thousand francs this year. But let us reckon only a fourth of
+that sum. Five thousand francs a year at play and four thousand in
+clothes and jewels make nine thousand; and three thousand francs which
+we count for food, does it not make your twelve thousand francs?
+
+HAR. Yes, that's not bad; but, after all, that calculation has nothing
+real in it.
+
+FRO. Excuse me; is it nothing real to bring you in marriage a great
+sobriety, to inherit a great love for simplicity in dress, and the
+acquired property of a great hatred for gambling?
+
+HAR. It is a farce to pretend to make up a dowry with all the expenses
+she will not run into. I could not give a receipt for what I do not
+receive; and I must decidedly get something.
+
+FRO. Bless me! you will get enough; and they have spoken to me of a
+certain country where they have some property, of which you will be
+master.
+
+HAR. We shall have to see to that. But, Frosine, there is one more
+thing that makes me uneasy. The girl is young, you know; and young
+people generally like those who are young like themselves, and only
+care for the society of the young. I am afraid that a man of my age
+may not exactly suit her taste, and that this may occasion in my
+family certain complications that would in nowise be pleasant to me.
+
+FRO. Oh, how badly you judge her! This is one more peculiarity of
+which I had to speak to you. She has the greatest detestation to all
+young men, and only likes old people.
+
+HAR. Does she?
+
+FRO. I should like you to hear her talk on that subject; she cannot
+bear at all the sight of a young man, and nothing delights her more
+than to see a fine old man with a venerable beard. The oldest are to
+her the most charming, and I warn you beforehand not to go and make
+yourself any younger than you really are. She wishes for one sixty
+years old at least; and it is not more than six months ago that on the
+very eve of being married she suddenly broke off the match on learning
+that her lover was only fifty-six years of age, and did not put on
+spectacles to sign the contract.
+
+HAR. Only for that?
+
+FRO. Yes; she says there is no pleasure with a man of fifty-six; and
+she has a decided affection for those who wear spectacles.
+
+HAR. Well, this is quite new to me.
+
+FRO. No one can imagine how far she carries this. She has in her room
+a few pictures and engravings, and what do you imagine they are? An
+Adonis, a Cephalus, a Paris, an Apollo? Not a bit of it! Fine
+portraits of Saturn, of King Priam, of old Nestor, and of good father
+Anchises on his son's shoulders.
+
+HAR. That's admirable. I should never have guessed such a thing; and I
+am very pleased to hear that she has such taste as this. Indeed had I
+been a woman, I should never have loved young fellows.
+
+FRO. I should think not. Fine trumpery indeed, these young men, for
+any one to fall in love with. Fine jackanapes and puppies for a woman
+to hanker after. I should like to know what relish anyone can find in
+them?
+
+HAR. Truly; I don't understand it myself, and I cannot make out how it
+is that some women dote so on them.
+
+FRO. They must be downright idiots. Can any one be in his senses who
+thinks youth amiable? Can those curly-pated coxcombs be men, and can
+one really get attached to such animals?
+
+HAR. Exactly what I say every day! With their effeminate voices, their
+three little bits of a beard turned up like cat's whiskers, their tow
+wigs, their flowing breeches and open breasts!
+
+FRO. Yes; they are famous guys compared with yourself. In you we see
+something like a man. There is enough to satisfy the eye. It is thus
+that one should be made and dressed to inspire love.
+
+HAR. Then you think I am pretty well?
+
+FRO. Pretty well! I should think so; you are charming, and your face
+would make a beautiful picture. Turn round a little, if you please.
+You could not find anything better anywhere. Let me see you walk. You
+have a well-shaped body, free and easy, as it should be, and one which
+gives no sign of infirmity.
+
+HAR. I have nothing the matter to speak of, I am thankful to say. It
+is only my cough, which returns from time to time.[5]
+
+FRO. That is nothing, and coughing becomes you exceedingly well.
+
+HAR. Tell me, Frosine, has Marianne seen me yet? Has she not noticed
+me when I passed by?
+
+FRO. No; but we have had many conversations about you. I gave her an
+exact description of your person, and I did not fail to make the most
+of your merit, and to show her what an advantage it would be to have a
+husband like you.
+
+HAR. You did right, and I thank you very much for it.
+
+FRO. I have, Sir, a small request to make to you. I am in danger of
+losing a lawsuit for want of a little money (HARPAGON _looks grave_),
+and you can easily help me with it, if you have pity upon me. You
+cannot imagine how happy she will be to see you. (HARPAGON _looks
+joyful_.) Oh! how sure you are to please her, and how sure that
+antique ruff of yours is to produce a wonderful effect on her mind.
+But, above all, she will be delighted with your breeches fastened to
+your doublet with tags; that will make her mad after you, and a lover
+who wears tags will be most welcome to her.
+
+HAR. You send me into raptures, Frosine, by saying that.
+
+FRO. I tell you the truth, Sir; this lawsuit is of the utmost
+importance for me. (HARPAGON _looks serious again_.) If I lose it, I
+am for ever ruined; but a very small sum will save me. I should like
+you to have seen the happiness she felt when I spoke of you to her.
+(HARPAGON _looks pleased again_.) Joy sparkled in her eyes while I
+told her of all your good qualities; and I succeeded, in short, in
+making her look forward with the greatest impatience to the conclusion
+of the match.
+
+HAR. You have given me great pleasure, Frosine, and I assure you I ...
+
+FRO. I beg of you, Sir, to grant me the little assistance I ask of
+you. (HARPAGON _again looks grave_.) It will put me on my feet again,
+and I shall feel grateful to you for ever.
+
+HAR. Good-bye; I must go and finish my correspondence.
+
+FRO. I assure you, Sir, that you could not help me in a more pressing
+necessity.
+
+HAR. I will see that my carriage is ready to take you to the fair.
+
+FRO. I would not importune you so if I were not compelled by
+necessity.
+
+HAR. And I will see that we have supper early, so that nobody may be
+ill.
+
+FRO. Do not refuse me the service; I beg of you. You can hardly
+believe, Sir, the pleasure that ...
+
+HAR. I must go; somebody is calling me. We shall see each other again
+by and by.
+
+FRO. (_alone_). May the fever seize you, you stingy cur, and send you
+to the devil and his angels! The miser has held out against all my
+attacks; but I must not drop the negotiation; for I have the other
+side, and there, at all events, I am sure of a good reward.
+
+
+
+
+ACT III.
+
+SCENE I.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, ELISE, VALERE, DAME CLAUDE (_holding a
+broom_), MASTER JACQUES, LA MERLUCHE, BRINDAVOINE.
+
+
+HAR. Here, come here, all of you; I must give you orders for by and
+by, and arrange what each one will have to do. Come nearer, Dame
+Claude; let us begin with you. (_Looking at her broom._) Good; you are
+ready armed, I see. To you I commit the care of cleaning up
+everywhere; but, above all, be very careful not to rub the furniture
+too hard, for fear of wearing it out. Besides this, I put the bottles
+under your care during supper, and if any one of them is missing, or
+if anything gets broken, you will be responsible for it, and pay it
+out of your wages.
+
+JAC. (_aside_). A shrewd punishment that.
+
+HAR. (_to_ DAME CLAUDE.) Now you may go.
+
+
+SCENE II.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, ELISE, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES,
+BRINDAVOINE, LA MERLUCHE.
+
+HAR. To you, Brindavoine, and to you, La Merluche, belongs the duty of
+washing the glasses, and of giving to drink, but only when people are
+thirsty, and not according to the custom of certain impertinent
+lackeys, who urge them to drink, and put the idea into their heads
+when they are not thinking about it. Wait until you have been asked
+several times, and remember always to have plenty of water.
+
+JAC. (_aside_). Yes; wine without water gets into one's head.
+
+LA MER. Shall we take off our smocks, Sir?
+
+HAR. Yes, when you see the guests coming; but be very careful not to
+spoil your clothes.
+
+BRIND. You know, Sir, that one of the fronts of my doublet is covered
+with a large stain of oil from the lamp.
+
+LA MER. And I, Sir, that my breeches are all torn behind, and that,
+saving your presence ...
+
+HAR. (_to_ LA MERLUCHE). Peace! Turn carefully towards the wall, and
+always face the company. (_To_ BRINDAVOINE, _showing him how he is to
+hold his hat before his doublet, to hide the stain of oil_) And you,
+always hold your hat in this fashion when you wait on the guests.
+
+
+SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, ELISE, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES.
+
+HAR. As for you, my daughter, you will look after all that is cleared
+off the table, and see that nothing is wasted: this care is very
+becoming to young girls. Meanwhile get ready to welcome my lady-love,
+who is coming this afternoon to pay you a visit, and will take you off
+to the fair with her. Do you understand what I say?
+
+ELI. Yes, father.
+
+
+SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES.
+
+HAR. And you, my young dandy of a son to whom I have the kindness of
+forgiving what happened this morning, mind you don't receive her
+coldly, or show her a sour face.
+
+CLE. Receive her coldly! And why should I?
+
+HAR. Why? why? We know pretty well the ways of children whose fathers
+marry again, and the looks they give to those we call stepmothers. But
+if you wish me to forget your last offence, I advise you, above all
+things, to receive her kindly, and, in short, to give her the
+heartiest welcome you can.
+
+CLE. To speak the truth, father, I cannot promise you that I am very
+happy to see her become my stepmother; but as to receiving her
+properly, and as to giving her a kind welcome, I promise to obey you
+in that to the very letter.
+
+HAR. Be careful you do, at least.
+
+CLE. You will see that you have no cause to complain.
+
+HAR. You will do wisely.
+
+
+SCENE V.--HARPAGON, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES.
+
+HAR. Valere, you will have to give me your help in this business. Now,
+Master Jacques, I kept you for the last.
+
+JAC. Is it to your coachman, Sir, or to your cook you want to speak,
+for I am both the one and the other?
+
+HAR. To both.
+
+JAC. But to which of the two first?
+
+HAR. To the cook.
+
+JAC. Then wait a minute, if you please.
+
+(JACQUES _takes off his stable-coat and appears dressed as a cook._)
+
+HAR. What the deuce is the meaning of this ceremony?
+
+JAC. Now I am at your service.
+
+HAR. I have engaged myself, Master Jacques, to give a supper to-night.
+
+JAC. (_aside_). Wonderful!
+
+HAR. Tell me, can you give us a good supper?
+
+JAC. Yes, if you give me plenty of money.
+
+HAR. The deuce! Always money! I think they have nothing else to say
+except money, money, money! Always that same word in their mouth,
+money! They always speak of money! It's their pillow companion, money!
+
+VAL. Never did I hear such an impertinent answer! Would you call it
+wonderful to provide good cheer with plenty of money? Is it not the
+easiest thing in the world? The most stupid could do as much. But a
+clever man should talk of a good supper with little money.
+
+JAC. A good supper with little money?
+
+VAL. Yes.
+
+JAC. (_to_ VALERE). Indeed, Mr. Steward, you will oblige me greatly by
+telling me your secret, and also, if you like, by filling my place as
+cook; for you keep on meddling here, and want to be everything.
+
+HAR. Hold your tongue. What shall we want?
+
+JAC. Ask that of Mr. Steward, who will give you good cheer with little
+money.
+
+HAR. Do you hear? I am speaking to you, and expect you to answer me.
+
+JAC. How many will there be at your table?
+
+HAR. Eight or ten; but you must only reckon for eight. When there is
+enough for eight, there is enough for ten.
+
+VAL. That is evident.
+
+JAC. Very well, then; you must have four tureens of soup and five side
+dishes; soups, entrees ...
+
+HAR. What! do you mean to feed a whole town?
+
+JAC. Roast ...
+
+HAR. (_clapping his hand on_ MASTER JACQUES' _mouth_). Ah! Wretch! you
+are eating up all my substance.
+
+JAC. Entremets ...
+
+HAR. (_again putting his hand on_ JACQUES' _mouth_). More still?
+
+VAL. (_to_ JACQUES). Do you mean to kill everybody? And has your
+master invited people in order to destroy them with over-feeding? Go
+and read a little the precepts of health, and ask the doctors if there
+is anything so hurtful to man as excess in eating.
+
+HAR. He is perfectly right.
+
+VAL. Know, Master Jacques, you and people like you, that a table
+overloaded with eatables is a real cut-throat; that, to be the true
+friends of those we invite, frugality should reign throughout the
+repast we give, and that according to the saying of one of the
+ancients, "We must eat to live, and not live to eat."
+
+HAR. Ah! How well the man speaks! Come near, let me embrace you for
+this last saying. It is the finest sentence that I have ever heard in
+my life: "We must live to eat, and not eat to live." No; that isn't
+it. How do you say it?
+
+VAL. That we must eat to live, and not live to eat.
+
+HAR. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES). Yes. Do you hear that? (_To_ VALERE) Who
+is the great man who said that?
+
+VAL. I do not exactly recollect his name just now.
+
+HAR. Remember to write down those words for me. I will have them
+engraved in letters of gold over the mantel-piece of my dining-room.
+
+VAL. I will not fail. As for your supper, you had better let me manage
+it. I will see that it is all as it should be.
+
+HAR. Do so.
+
+JAC. So much the better; all the less work for me.
+
+HAR. (_to_ VALERE). We must have some of those things of which it is
+not possible to eat much, and that satisfy directly. Some good fat
+beans, and a pate well stuffed with chestnuts.
+
+VAL. Trust to me.
+
+HAR. Now, Master Jacques, you must clean my carriage.
+
+JAC. Wait a moment; this is to the coachman. (JACQUES _puts on his
+coat._) You say ...
+
+HAR. That you must clean my carriage, and have my horses ready to
+drive to the fair.
+
+JAC. Your horses! Upon my word, Sir, they are not at all in a
+condition to stir. I won't tell you that they are laid up, for the
+poor things have got nothing to lie upon, and it would not be telling
+the truth. But you make them keep such rigid fasts that they are
+nothing but phantoms, ideas, and mere shadows of horses.
+
+HAR. They are much to be pitied. They have nothing to do.
+
+JAC. And because they have nothing to do, must they have nothing to
+eat? It would be much better for them, poor things, to work much and
+eat to correspond. It breaks my heart to see them so reduced; for, in
+short, I love my horses; and when I see them suffer, it seems as if it
+were myself. Every day I take the bread out of my own mouth to feed
+them; and it is being too hard-hearted, Sir, to have no compassion
+upon one's neighbour.
+
+HAR. It won't be very hard work to go to the fair.
+
+JAC. No, Sir. I haven't the heart to drive them; it would go too much
+against my conscience to use the whip to them in the state they are
+in. How could you expect them to drag a carriage? They have not even
+strength enough to drag themselves along.
+
+VAL. Sir, I will ask our neighbour, Picard, to drive them;
+particularly as we shall want his help to get the supper ready.
+
+JAC. Be it so. I had much rather they should die under another's hand
+than under mine.
+
+VAL. Master Jacques is mightily considerate.
+
+JAC. Mr. Steward is mightily indispensable.
+
+HAR. Peace.
+
+JAC. Sir, I can't bear these flatteries, and I can see that, whatever
+this man does, his continual watching after the bread, wine, wood,
+salt, and candles, is done but to curry favour and to make his court
+to you. I am indignant to see it all; and I am sorry to hear every day
+what is said of you; for, after all, I have a certain tenderness for
+you; and, except my horses, you are the person I like most in the
+world.
+
+HAR. And I would know from you, Master Jacques, what it is that is
+said of me.
+
+JAC. Yes, certainly, Sir, if I were sure you would not get angry with
+me.
+
+HAR. No, no; never fear.
+
+JAC. Excuse me, but I am sure you will be angry.
+
+HAR. No, on the contrary, you will oblige me. I should be glad to know
+what people say of me.
+
+JAC. Since you wish it, Sir, I will tell you frankly that you are the
+laughing-stock of everybody; that they taunt us everywhere by a
+thousand jokes on your account, and that nothing delights people more
+than to make sport of you, and to tell stories without end about your
+stinginess. One says that you have special almanacks printed, where
+you double the ember days and vigils, so that you may profit by the
+fasts to which you bind all your house; another, that you always have
+a ready-made quarrel for your servants at Christmas time or when they
+leave you, so that you may give them nothing. One tells a story how
+not long since you prosecuted a neighbour's cat because it had eaten
+up the remainder of a leg of mutton; another says that one night you
+were caught stealing your horses' oats, and that your coachman,--that
+is the man who was before me,--gave you, in the dark, a good sound
+drubbing, of which you said nothing. In short, what is the use of
+going on? We can go nowhere but we are sure to hear you pulled to
+pieces. You are the butt and jest and byword of everybody; and never
+does anyone mention you but under the names of miser, stingy, mean,
+niggardly fellow and usurer.
+
+HAR. (_beating_ JACQUES). You are a fool, a rascal, a scoundrel, and
+an impertinent wretch.
+
+JAC. There, there! Did not I know how it would be? You would not
+believe me. I told you I should make you angry if I spoke the truth?
+
+HAR. Learn how to speak.
+
+
+SCENE VI.--VALERE, MASTER JACQUES.
+
+VAL. (_laughing_). Well, Master Jacques, your frankness is badly
+rewarded, I fear.
+
+JAC. S'death! Mr. Upstart, you who assume the man of consequence, it
+is no business of yours as far as I can see. Laugh at your own
+cudgelling when you get it, and don't come here and laugh at mine.
+
+VAL. Ah! Master Jacques, don't get into a passion, I beg of you.
+
+JAC. (_aside_). He is drawing in his horns. I will put on a bold face,
+and if he is fool enough to be afraid of me, I will pay him back
+somewhat. (_To_ VALERE) Do you know, Mr. Grinner, that I am not
+exactly in a laughing humour, and that if you provoke me too much, I
+shall make you laugh after another fashion. (JACQUES _pushes_ VALERE
+_to the farther end of the stage, threatening him_.)
+
+VAL. Gently, gently.
+
+JAC. How gently? And if it does not please me to go gently?
+
+VAL. Come, come! What are you about?
+
+JAC. You are an impudent rascal.
+
+VAL. Master Jacques....
+
+JAC. None of your Master Jacques here! If I take up a stick, I shall
+soon make you feel it.
+
+VAL. What do you mean by a stick? (_Drives back_ JACQUES _in his
+turn_.)
+
+JAC. No; I don't say anything about that.
+
+VAL. Do you know, Mr. Conceit, that I am a man to give you a drubbing
+in good earnest?
+
+JAC. I have no doubt of it.
+
+VAL. That, after all, you are nothing but a scrub of a cook?
+
+JAC. I know it very well.
+
+VAL. And that you don't know me yet?
+
+JAC. I beg your pardon.
+
+VAL. You will beat me, you say?
+
+JAC. I only spoke in jest.
+
+VAL. I don't like your jesting, and (_beating_ JACQUES) remember that
+you are but a sorry hand at it.
+
+JAC. (_alone_). Plague take all sincerity; it is a bad trade. I give
+it up for the future, and will cease to tell the truth. It is all very
+well for my master to beat me; but as for that Mr. Steward, what right
+has he to do it? I will be revenged on him if I can.
+
+
+SCENE VII.--MARIANNE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES.
+
+FRO. Do you know if your master is at home?
+
+JAC. Yes, he is indeed; I know it but too well.
+
+FRO. Tell him, please, that we are here.
+
+
+SCENE VIII.--MARIANNE, FROSINE.
+
+MAR. Ah! Frosine, how strange I feel, and how I dread this interview!
+
+FRO. Why should you? What can you possibly dread?
+
+MAR. Alas! can you ask me? Can you not understand the alarms of a
+person about to see the instrument of torture to which she is to be
+tied.
+
+FRO. I see very well that to die agreeably, Harpagon is not the
+torture you would embrace; and I can judge by your looks that the fair
+young man you spoke of to me is still in your thoughts.
+
+MAR. Yes, Frosine; it is a thing I do not wish to deny. The respectful
+visits he has paid at our house have left, I confess, a great
+impression on my heart.
+
+FRO. But do you know who he is?
+
+MAR. No, I do not. All I know is that he is made to be loved; that if
+things were left to my choice, I would much rather marry him than any
+other, and that he adds not a little to the horrible dread that I have
+of the husband they want to force upon me.
+
+FRO. Oh yes! All those dandies are very pleasant, and can talk
+agreeably enough, but most of them are as poor as church mice; and it
+is much better for you to marry an old husband, who gives you plenty
+of money. I fully acknowledge that the senses somewhat clash with the
+end I propose, and that there are certain little inconveniences to be
+endured with such a husband; but all that won't last; and his death,
+believe me, will soon put you in a position to take a more pleasant
+husband, who will make amends for all.
+
+MAR. Oh, Frosine! What a strange state of things that, in order to be
+happy, we must look forward to the death of another. Yet death will
+not fall in with all the projects we make.
+
+FRO. You are joking. You marry him with the express understanding that
+he will soon leave you a widow; it must be one of the articles of the
+marriage contract. It would be very wrong in him not to die before
+three months are over. Here he is himself.
+
+MAR. Ah! dear Frosine, what a face!
+
+
+SCENE IX.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, FROSINE.
+
+HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). Do not be offended, fair one, if I come to you
+with my glasses on. I know that your beauty is great enough to be seen
+with the naked eye; but, still, it is with glasses that we look at the
+stars, and I maintain and uphold that you are a star, the most
+beautiful and in the land of stars. Frosine, she does not answer,
+star, it seems to me, shows no joy at the sight of me.
+
+FRO. It is because she is still quite awe-struck, and young girls are
+always shy at first, and afraid of showing what they feel.
+
+HAR. (_to_ FROSINE). You are right. (_To_ MARIANNE) My pretty darling,
+there is my daughter coming to welcome you.
+
+
+SCENE X.--HARPAGON, ELISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE.
+
+MAR. I am very late in acquitting myself of the visit I owed you.
+
+ELI. You have done what I ought to have done. It was for me to have
+come and seen you first.
+
+HAR. You see what a great girl she is; but ill weeds grow apace.
+
+MAR. (_aside to_ FROSINE). Oh, what an unpleasant man!
+
+HAR. (_to_ FROSINE). What does my fair one say?
+
+FRO. That she thinks you perfect.
+
+HAR. You do me too much honour, my adorable darling.
+
+MAR. (_aside_). What a dreadful creature!
+
+HAR. I really feel too grateful to you for these sentiments.
+
+MAR. (_aside_). I can bear it no longer.
+
+
+SCENE XI.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, CLEANTE, VALERE, FROSINE,
+BRINDAVOINE.
+
+HAR. Here is my son, who also comes to pay his respects to you.
+
+MAR. (_aside to_ FROSINE). Oh, Frosine! what a strange meeting! He is
+the very one of whom I spoke to you.
+
+FRO. (_to_ MARIANNE). Well, that is extraordinary.
+
+HAR. You are surprised to see that my children can be so old; but I
+shall soon get rid of both of them.
+
+CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). Madam, to tell you the truth, I little expected
+such an event; and my father surprised me not a little when he told me
+to-day of the decision he had come to.
+
+MAR. I can say the same thing. It is an unexpected meeting; and I
+certainly was far from being prepared for such an event.
+
+CLE. Madam, my father cannot make a better choice, and it is a great
+joy to me to have the honour of welcoming you here. At the same time,
+I cannot say that I should rejoice if it were your intention to become
+my stepmother. I must confess that I should find it difficult to pay
+you the compliment; and it is a title, forgive me, that I cannot wish
+you to have. To some this speech would seem coarse, but I feel that
+you understand it. This marriage, Madam, is altogether repugnant to
+me. You are not ignorant, now that you know who I am, how opposed it
+is to all my own interests, and with my father's permission I hope you
+will allow me to say that, if things depended on me, it would never
+take place.
+
+HAR. (_aside_). What a very impertinent speech to make; and what a
+confession to make to her!
+
+MAR. And as my answer, I must tell you that things are much the same
+with me, and that, if you have any repugnance in seeing me your
+stepmother, I shall have no less in seeing you my stepson. Do not
+believe, I beg of you, that it is of my own will that this trouble has
+come upon you. I should be deeply grieved to cause you the least
+sorrow, and unless I am forced to it by a power I must obey, I give
+you my word that, I will never consent to a marriage which is so
+painful to you.
+
+HAR. She is right. A foolish speech deserves a foolish answer. I beg
+your pardon, my love, for the impertinence of my son. He is a silly
+young fellow, who has not yet learnt the value of his own words.
+
+MAR. I assure you that he has not at all offended me. I am thankful,
+on the contrary, that he has spoken so openly. I care greatly for such
+a confession from him, and if he had spoken differently, I should feel
+much less esteem for him.
+
+HAR. It is very kind of you to excuse him thus. Time will make him
+wiser, and you will see that his feelings will change.
+
+CLE. No, father, they will never change; and I earnestly beg of you,
+Madam, to believe me.
+
+HAR. Did ever anybody see such folly? He is becoming worse and worse.
+
+CLE. Would you have me false to my inmost feelings?
+
+HAR. Again! Change your manners, if you please.
+
+CLE. Very well, since you wish me to speak differently. Allow me,
+Madam, to take for a moment my father's place; and forgive me if I
+tell you that I never saw in the world anybody more charming than you
+are; that I can understand no happiness to equal that of pleasing you,
+and that to be your husband is a glory, a felicity, I should prefer to
+the destinies of the greatest princes upon earth. Yes, Madam, to
+possess you is, in my mind, to possess the best of all treasures; to
+obtain you is all my ambition. There is nothing I would not do for so
+precious a conquest, and the most powerful obstacles ...
+
+HAR. Gently, gently, my son, if you please.
+
+CLE. These are complimentary words which I speak to her in your name.
+
+HAR. Bless me! I have a tongue of my own to explain my feelings, and I
+really don't care for such an advocate as you... Here, bring us some
+chairs.
+
+FRO. No; I think it is better for us to go at once to the fair, in
+order to be back earlier, and have plenty of time for talking.
+
+HAR. (_to_ BRINDAVOINE). Have the carriage ready at once.
+
+
+SCENE XII.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, CLEANTE, VALERE, FROSINE.
+
+HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). I hope you will excuse me, my dear, but I forgot
+to order some refreshments for you, before you went out.
+
+CLE. I have thought of it, father, and have ordered to be brought in
+here some baskets of China oranges, sweet citrons, and preserves,
+which I sent for in your name.
+
+HAR. (_aside, to_ VALERE). Valere!
+
+VAL. (_aside, to_ HARPAGON). He has lost his senses!
+
+CLE. You are afraid, father, that it will not be enough? I hope,
+Madam, that you will have the kindness to excuse it.
+
+MAR. It was by no means necessary.
+
+CLE. Did you ever see, Madam, a more brilliant diamond than the one my
+father has upon his finger?
+
+MAR. It certainly sparkles very much.
+
+CLE. (_taking the diamond off his father's finger_). You must see it
+near.
+
+MAR. It is a beautiful one; it possesses great lustre.
+
+CLE. (_steps before_ MARIANNE, _who wants to restore it_). No, Madam,
+it is in hands too beautiful; it is a present my father gives you.
+
+HAR. I?
+
+CLE. Is it not true, father, that you wish her to keep it for your
+sake?
+
+HAR. (_aside, to his son_). What?
+
+CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). A strange question indeed! He is making me signs
+that I am to force you to accept it.
+
+MAR. I would not....
+
+CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). I beg of you.... He would not take it back.
+
+HAR. (_aside_). I am bursting with rage!
+
+MAR. It would be ...
+
+CLE. (_still hindering_ MARIANNE _from returning it_). No; I tell you,
+you will offend him.
+
+MAR. Pray ...
+
+CLE. By no means.
+
+HAR. (_aside_). Plague take ...
+
+CLE. He is perfectly shocked at your refusal.
+
+HAR. (_aside, to his son_). Ah! traitor!
+
+CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). You see he is in despair.
+
+HAR. (_aside, to his son, threatening him_). You villain!
+
+CLE. Really, father, it is not my fault. I do all I can to persuade
+her to accept it; but she is obstinate.
+
+HAR. (_in a rage, aside to his son_). Rascal!
+
+CLE. You are the cause, Madam, of my father scolding me.
+
+HAR. (_aside, with the same looks_). Scoundrel!
+
+CLE. (_to_ MARIANNE). You will make him ill; for goodness' sake,
+hesitate no longer.
+
+FRO. (_to_ MARIANNE). Why so much ceremony? Keep the ring, since the
+gentleman wishes you to.
+
+MAR. (_to_ HARPAGON). I will keep it now, Sir, in order not to make
+you angry, and I shall take another opportunity of returning it to
+you.
+
+
+SCENE XIII.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, VALERE, FROSINE, BRINDAVOINE.
+
+BRIND. Sir, there is a gentleman here who wants to speak to you.
+
+HAR. Tell him that I am engaged, and that I cannot see him to-day.
+
+BRIND. He says he has some money for you.
+
+HAR. (_to_ MARIANNE). Pray, excuse me; I will come back directly.
+
+
+SCENE XIV.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, CLEANTE, FROSINE, LA MERLUCHE.
+
+LA MER. (_comes in running, and throws_ HARPAGON _down_). Sir....
+
+HAR. Oh! he has killed me.
+
+CLE. What's the matter, father? Have you hurt yourself?
+
+HAR. The wretch must have been bribed by some of my debtors to break
+my neck.
+
+VAL. (_to_ HARPAGON). There is nothing serious.
+
+LA MER. (_to_ HARPAGON). I beg your pardon, Sir; I thought I had
+better run fast to tell you....
+
+HAR. What?
+
+LA MER. That your two horses have lost their shoes.
+
+HAR. Take them quickly to the smith.
+
+CLE. In the meantime, father, I will do the honours of the house for
+you, and take this lady into the garden, where lunch will be brought.
+
+
+SCENE XV.--HARPAGON, VALERE.
+
+HAR. Valere, look after all this; and take care, I beseech you, to
+save as much of it as you can, so that we may send it back to the
+tradesman again.
+
+VAL. I will.
+
+HAR. (_alone_). Miscreant! do you mean to ruin me?
+
+
+
+
+ACT IV.
+
+SCENE I.--CLEANTE, MARIANNE, ELISE, FROSINE.
+
+
+CLE. Let us come in here; we shall be much better. There is no one
+about us that we need be afraid of, and we can speak openly.
+
+ELI. Yes, Madam, my brother has told me of the love he has for you. I
+know what sorrow and anxiety such trials as these may cause, and I
+assure you that I have the greatest sympathy for you.
+
+MAR. I feel it a great comfort in my trouble to have the sympathy of a
+person like you, and I entreat you, Madam, ever to retain for me a
+friendship so capable of softening the cruelty of my fate.
+
+FRO. You really are both very unfortunate not to have told me of all
+this before. I might certainly have warded off the blow, and not have
+carried things so far.
+
+CLE. What could I do? It is my evil destiny which has willed it so.
+But you, fair Marianne, what have you resolved to do? What resolution
+have you taken?
+
+MAR. Alas! Is it in my power to take any resolution? And, dependent as
+I am, can I do anything else except form wishes?
+
+CLE. No other support for me in your heart? Nothing but mere wishes?
+No pitying energy? No kindly relief? No active affection?
+
+MAR. What am I to say to you? Put yourself in my place, and judge what
+I can possibly do. Advise me, dispose of me, I trust myself entirely
+to you, for I am sure that you will never ask of me anything but what
+is modest and seemly.
+
+CLE. Alas! to what do you reduce me when you wish me to be guided
+entirely by feelings of strict duty and of scrupulous propriety.
+
+MAR. But what would you have me do? Even if I were, for you, to divest
+myself of the many scruples which our sex imposes on us, I have too
+much regard for my mother, who has brought me up with great
+tenderness, for me to give her any cause of sorrow. Do all you can
+with her. Strive to win her. I give you leave to say and do all you
+wish; and if anything depends upon her knowing the true state of my
+feelings, by all means tell her what they are; indeed I will do it
+myself if necessary.
+
+CLE. Frosine, dear Frosine, will you not help us?
+
+FRO. Indeed, I should like to do so, as you know. I am not naturally
+unkind. Heaven has not given me a heart of flint, and I feel but too
+ready to help when I see young people loving each other in all
+earnestness and honesty. What can we do in this case?
+
+CLE. Try and think a little.
+
+MAR. Advise us.
+
+ELI. Invent something to undo what you have done.
+
+FRO. Rather a difficult piece of business. (_To_ MARIANNE) As far as
+your mother is concerned, she is not altogether unreasonable and we
+might succeed in making her give to the son the gift she reserved for
+the father. (_To_ CLEANTE) But the most disheartening part of it all
+is that your father is your father.
+
+CLE. Yes, so it is.
+
+FRO. I mean that he will bear malice if he sees that he is refused,
+and he will be in no way disposed afterwards to give his consent to
+your marriage. It would be well if the refusal could be made to come
+from him, and you ought to try by some means or other to make him
+dislike you, Marianne.
+
+CLE. You are quite right.
+
+FRO. Yes, right enough, no doubt. That is what ought to be done; but
+how in the world are we to set about it? Wait a moment. Suppose we had
+a somewhat elderly woman with a little of the ability which I possess,
+and able sufficiently well to represent a lady of rank, by means of a
+retinue made up in haste, and of some whimsical title of a marchioness
+or viscountess, whom we would suppose to come from Lower Brittany. I
+should have enough power over your father to persuade him that she is
+a rich woman, in possession, besides her houses, of a hundred thousand
+crowns in ready money; that she is deeply in love with him, and that
+she would marry him at any cost, were she even to give him all her
+money by the marriage contract. I have no doubt he would listen to the
+proposal. For certainly he loves you very much, my dear, but he loves
+money still better. When once he has consented to your marriage, it
+does not signify much how he finds out the true state of affairs about
+our marchioness.
+
+CLE. All that is very well made up.
+
+FRO. Leave it to me; I just remember one of my friends who will do
+beautifully.
+
+CLE. Depend on my gratitude, Frosine, if you succeed. But, dear
+Marianne, let us begin, I beg of you, by gaining over your mother; it
+would be a great deal accomplished if this marriage were once broken
+off. Make use, I beseech you, of all the power that her tenderness for
+you gives you over her. Display without hesitation those eloquent
+graces, those all-powerful charms, with which Heaven has endowed your
+eyes and lips; forget not, I beseech you, those sweet persuasions,
+those tender entreaties, those loving caresses to which, I feel,
+nothing could be refused.
+
+MAR. I will do all I can, and will forget nothing.
+
+
+SCENE II.--HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ELISE, FROSINE.
+
+HAR. (_aside, and without being seen_). Ah! ah! my son is kissing the
+hand of his intended stepmother, and his intended stepmother does not
+seem much averse to it! Can there be any mystery in all this?
+
+ELI. Here comes my father.
+
+HAR. The carriage is quite ready, and you can start when you like.
+
+CLE. Since you are not going, father, allow me to take care of them.
+
+HAR. No, stop here; they can easily take care of themselves, and I
+want you.
+
+
+SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE.
+
+HAR. Well, now, all consideration of stepmother aside, tell me what do
+you think of this lady?
+
+CLE. What I think of her?
+
+HAR. Yes, what do you think of her appearance, her figure, her beauty
+and intelligence?
+
+CLE. So, so.
+
+HAR. But still?
+
+CLE. To tell you the truth, I did not find her such as I expected. Her
+manner is that of a thorough coquette, her figure is rather awkward,
+her beauty very middling, and her intelligence of the meanest order.
+Do not suppose that I say this to make you dislike her; for if I must
+have a stepmother, I like the idea of this one as well as of any
+other.
+
+HAR. You spoke to her just now, nevertheless....
+
+CLE. I paid her several compliments in your name, but it was to please
+you.
+
+HAR. So then you don't care for her?
+
+CLE. Who? I? Not in the least.
+
+HAR. I am sorry for it, for that puts an end to a scheme which had
+occurred to me. Since I have seen her here, I have been thinking of my
+own age; and I feel that people would find fault with me for marrying
+so young a girl. This consideration had made me determine to abandon
+the project, and as I had demanded her in marriage, and had given her
+my promise, I would have given her to you if it were not for the
+dislike you have for her.
+
+CLE. To me?
+
+HAR. To you.
+
+CLE. In marriage?
+
+HAR. In marriage.
+
+CLE. It is true she is not at all to my taste; but, to please you,
+father, I will bring myself to marry her, if you please.
+
+HAR. If I please! I am more reasonable than you think. I don't wish to
+compel you.
+
+CLE. Excuse me! I will make an attempt to love her.
+
+HAR. No, no; a marriage cannot be happy where there is no love.
+
+CLE. That, my father, will, perhaps, come by and by, and it is said
+that love is often the fruit of marriage.
+
+HAR. No, it is not right to risk it on the side of the man, and there
+are some troublesome things I don't care to run the chance of. If you
+had felt any inclination for her, you should have married her instead
+of me, but as it is, I will return to my first intention and marry her
+myself.
+
+CLE. Well, father, since things are so, I had better be frank with
+you, and reveal our secret to you. The truth is that I have loved her
+ever since I saw her one day on the promenade. I intended to ask you
+today to let me marry her, and I was only deterred from it because you
+spoke of marrying her, and because I feared to displease you.
+
+HAR. Have you ever paid her any visits?
+
+CLE. Yes, father.
+
+HAR. Many?
+
+CLE. Yes; considering how long we have been acquainted.
+
+HAR. You were well received.
+
+CLE. Very well, but without her knowing who I was; and that is why
+Marianne was so surprised when she saw me today.
+
+HAR. Have you told her of your love, and of your intention of marrying
+her?
+
+CLE. Certainly, and I also spoke a little to the mother on the
+subject.
+
+HAR. Did she kindly receive your proposal for her daughter?
+
+CLE. Yes, very kindly.
+
+HAR. And does the daughter return your love?
+
+CLE. If I can believe appearances, she is certainly well disposed
+towards me.
+
+HAR. (_aside_). Well! I am very glad to have found out this secret; it
+is the very thing I wanted to know. (_To his son_) Now, look here, my
+son, I tell you what. You will have, if you please, to get rid of your
+love for Marianne, to cease to pay your attentions to a person I
+intend for myself, and to marry very soon the wife I have chosen for
+you.
+
+CLE. So, father, it is thus you deceive me! Very well, since things
+are come to such a pass, I openly declare to you that I shall not give
+up my love for Marianne. No! understand that henceforth there is
+nothing from which I shall shrink in order to dispute her with you;
+and if you have on your side the consent of the mother, perhaps I
+shall have some other resources left to aid me.
+
+HAR. What, rascal! You dare to trespass on my grounds?
+
+CLE. It is you who trespass on mine. I was the first.
+
+HAR. Am I not your father, and do you not owe me respect?
+
+CLE. There are things in which children are not called upon to pay
+deference to their fathers; and love is no respector of persons.
+
+HAR. My stick will make you know me better.
+
+CLE. All your threatenings are nothing to me.
+
+HAR. You will give up Marianne?
+
+CLE. Never!
+
+HAR. Bring me my stick. Quick, I say! my stick!
+
+
+SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE, MASTER JACQUES.
+
+JAC. Hold! hold! Gentlemen, what does this mean? What are you thinking
+of?
+
+CLE. I don't care a bit for it.
+
+JAC. (_to_ CLEANTE). Ah! Sir, gently.
+
+HAR. He dares to speak to me with such impudence as that!
+
+JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). Ah! Sir, I beg of you.
+
+CLE. I shall keep to it.
+
+JAC. (_to_ CLEANTE). What! to your father?
+
+HAR. Let me do it.
+
+JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). What! to your son? To me it's different.
+
+HAR. I will make you judge between us, Master Jacques, so that you may
+see that I have right on my side.
+
+JAC. Willingly. (_To_ CLEANTE) Go a little farther back.
+
+HAR. There is a young girl I love and want to marry, and the scoundrel
+has the impudence to love her also, and wants to marry her in spite of
+me.
+
+JAC. Oh! he is wrong.
+
+HAR. Is it not an abominable thing to see a son who does not shrink
+from becoming the rival of his father? And is it not his bounden duty
+to refrain from interfering with my love?
+
+JAC. You are quite right; stop here, and let me go and speak to him.
+
+CLE. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES, _who comes near him_). Very well; if he
+wants to make you a judge between us, I have no objection. I care
+little who it is, and I don't mind referring our quarrel to you.
+
+JAC. You do me great honour.
+
+CLE. I am in love with a young girl who returns my affection, and who
+receives kindly the offer of my heart; but my father takes it into his
+head to disturb our love by asking her in marriage.
+
+JAC. He certainly is wrong.
+
+CLE. Is it not shameful for a man of his age to think of marrying? I
+ask you if it is right for him to fall in love? and ought he not now
+to leave that to younger men?
+
+JAC. You are quite right; he is not serious; let me speak a word or
+two to him. (_To_ HARPAGON) Really, your son is not so extravagant as
+you think, and is amenable to reason. He says that he is conscious of
+the respect he owes you, and that he only got angry in the heat of the
+moment. He will willingly submit to all you wish if you will only
+promise to treat him more kindly than you do, and will give him in
+marriage a person to his taste.
+
+HAR. Ah! tell him, Master Jacques, that he will obtain everything from
+me on those terms, and that, except Marianne, I leave him free to
+choose for his wife whomsoever he pleases.
+
+JAC. Leave that to me. (_To_ CLEANTE) Really, your father is not so
+unreasonable as you make him out to me; and he tells me that it is
+your violence which irritated him. He only objects to your way of
+doing things, and is quite ready to grant you all you want, provided
+you will use gentle means and will give him the deference, respect,
+and submission that a son owes to his father.
+
+CLE. Ah! Master Jacques, you can assure him that if he grants me
+Marianne, he will always find me the most submissive of men, and that
+I shall never do anything contrary to his pleasure.
+
+JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). It's all right; he consents to what you say.
+
+HAR. Nothing could be better.
+
+JAC. (_to_ CLEANTE). It's all settled; he is satisfied with your
+promises.
+
+CLE. Heaven be praised!
+
+JAC. Gentlemen, you have nothing to do but to talk quietly over the
+matter together; you are agreed now, and yet you were on the point of
+quarrelling through want of understanding each other.
+
+CLE. My poor Jacques, I shall be obliged to you all my life.
+
+JAC. Don't mention it, Sir.
+
+HAR. You have given me great pleasure, Master Jacques, and deserve a
+reward. (HARPAGON _feels in his pocket_, JACQUES _holds out his hand,
+but_ HARPAGON _only pulls out his handkerchief, and says_,) Go; I will
+remember it, I promise you.
+
+JAC. I thank you kindly, Sir.
+
+
+SCENE V.--HARPAGON, CLEANTE.
+
+CLE. I beg your pardon, father, for having been angry.
+
+HAR. It is nothing.
+
+CLE. I assure you that I feel very sorry about it.
+
+HAR. I am very happy to see you reasonable again.
+
+CLE. How very kind of you so soon to forget my fault.
+
+HAR. One easily forgets the faults of children when they return to
+their duty.
+
+CLE. What! you are not angry with me for my extravagant behaviour?
+
+HAR. By your submission and respectful conduct you compel me to forget
+my anger.
+
+CLE. I assure you, father, I shall for ever keep in heart the
+remembrance of all your kindness.
+
+HAR. And I promise you that, in future, you will obtain all you like
+from me.
+
+CLE. Oh, father! I ask nothing more; it is sufficient for me that you
+give me Marianne.
+
+HAR. What?
+
+CLE. I say, father, that I am only too thankful already for what you
+have done, and that when you give me Marianne, you give me everything.
+
+HAR. Who talks of giving you Marianne?
+
+CLE. You, father.
+
+HAR. I?
+
+CLE. Yes.
+
+HAR. What! is it not you who promised to give her up?
+
+CLE. I! give her up?
+
+HAR. Yes.
+
+CLE. Certainly not.
+
+HAR. Did you not give up all pretensions to her?
+
+CLE. On the contrary, I am more determined than ever to have her.
+
+HAR. What, scoundrel! again?
+
+CLE. Nothing can make me change my mind.
+
+HAR. Let me get at you again, wretch!
+
+CLE. You can do as you please.
+
+HAR. I forbid you ever to come within my sight.
+
+CLE. As you like.
+
+HAR. I abandon you.
+
+CLE. Abandon me.
+
+HAR. I disown you.
+
+CLE. Disown me.
+
+HAR. I disinherit you.
+
+CLE. As you will.
+
+HAR. I give you my curse.
+
+CLE. I want none of your gifts.
+
+
+SCENE VI.--CLEANTE, LA FLECHE.
+
+LA FL. (_leaving the garden with a casket_). Ah! Sir, you are just in
+the nick of time. Quick! follow me.
+
+CLE. What is the matter?
+
+LA FL. Follow me, I say. We are saved.
+
+CLE. How?
+
+LA FL. Here is all you want.
+
+CLE. What?
+
+LA FL. I have watched for this all day.
+
+CLE. What is it?
+
+LA FL. Your father's treasure that I have got hold of.
+
+CLE. How did you manage it?
+
+LA FL. I will tell you all about it. Let us be off. I can hear him
+calling out.
+
+
+SCENE VII.--HARPAGON, _from the garden, rushing in without his hat,
+and crying_--
+
+Thieves! thieves! assassins! murder! Justice, just heavens! I am
+undone; I am murdered; they have cut my throat; they have stolen my
+money! Who can it be? What has become of him? Where is he? Where is he
+hiding himself? What shall I do to find him? Where shall I run? Where
+shall I not run? Is he not here? Who is this? Stop! (_To himself,
+taking hold of his own arm_) Give me back my money, wretch.... Ah...!
+it is myself.... My mind is wandering, and I know not where I am, who
+I am, and what I am doing. Alas! my poor money! my poor money! my
+dearest friend, they have bereaved me of thee; and since thou art
+gone, I have lost my support, my consolation, and my joy. All is ended
+for me, and I have nothing more to do in the world! Without thee it is
+impossible for me to live. It is all over with me; I can bear it no
+longer. I am dying; I am dead; I am buried. Is there nobody who will
+call me from the dead, by restoring my dear money to me, or by telling
+me who has taken it? Ah! what is it you say? It is no one. Whoever has
+committed the deed must have watched carefully for his opportunity,
+and must have chosen the very moment when I was talking with my
+miscreant of a son. I must go. I will demand justice, and have the
+whole of my house put to the torture--my maids and my valets, my son,
+my daughter, and myself too. What a crowd of people are assembled
+here! Everyone seems to be my thief. I see no one who does not rouse
+suspicion in me. Ha! what are they speaking of there? Of him who stole
+my money? What noise is that up yonder? Is it my thief who is there?
+For pity's sake, if you know anything of my thief, I beseech you to
+tell me. Is he hiding there among you? They all look at me and laugh.
+We shall see that they all have a share in the robbery. Quick!
+magistrates, police, provosts, judges, racks, gibbets, and
+executioners. I will hang everybody, and if I do not find my money, I
+will hang myself afterwards.
+
+
+
+
+ACT V.
+
+SCENE I.--HARPAGON, A POLICE OFFICER.
+
+
+OFF. Leave that to me. I know my business. Thank Heaven! this is not
+the first time I have been employed in finding out thieves; and I wish
+I had as many bags of a thousand francs as I have had people hanged.
+
+HAR. Every magistrate must take this affair in hand; and if my money
+is not found, I shall call justice against justice itself.
+
+OFF. We must take all needful steps. You say there was in that
+casket...?
+
+HAR. Ten thousand crowns in cash.
+
+OFF. Ten thousand crowns!
+
+HAR. Ten thousand crowns.
+
+OFF. A considerable theft.
+
+HAR. There is no punishment great enough for the enormity of the
+crime; and if it remain unpunished, the most sacred things are no
+longer secure.
+
+OFF. In what coins was that sum?
+
+HAR. In good louis d'or and pistoles of full weight.
+
+OFF. Whom do you suspect of this robbery?
+
+HAR. Everybody. I wish you to take into custody the whole town and
+suburbs.
+
+OFF. You must not, if you trust me, frighten anybody, but must use
+gentle means to collect evidence, in order afterwards to proceed with
+more rigour for the recovery of the sum which has been taken from you.
+
+
+SCENE II.--HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES.
+
+JAC. (_at the end of the stage, turning back to the door by which he
+came in_). I am coming back. Have his throat cut at once; have his
+feet singed; put him in boiling water, and hang him up to the ceiling.
+
+HAR. What! Him who has robbed me?
+
+JAC. I was speaking of a sucking pig that your steward has just sent
+me; and I want to have it dressed for you after my own fancy.
+
+HAR. This is no longer the question; and you have to speak of
+something else to this gentleman.
+
+OFF. (_to_ JACQUES). Don't get frightened. I am not a man to cause any
+scandal, and matters will be carried on by gentle means.
+
+JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). Is this gentleman coming to supper with you?
+
+OFF. You must, in this case, my good man, hide nothing from your
+master.
+
+JAC. Indeed, Sir, I will show you all I know, and will treat you in
+the best manner I possibly can.
+
+OFF. That's not the question.
+
+JAC. If I do not give as good fare as I should like, it is the fault
+of your steward, who has clipped my wings with the scissors of his
+economy.
+
+HAR. Rascal! We have other matters to talk about than your supper; and
+I want you to tell me what has become of the money which has been
+stolen from me.
+
+JAC. Some money has been stolen from you?
+
+HAR. Yes, you rascal! And I'll have you hanged if you don't give it me
+back again.
+
+OFF. (_to_ HARPAGON). Pray, don't be hard upon him. I see by his looks
+that he is an honest fellow, and that he will tell you all you want to
+know without going to prison. Yes, my friend, if you confess, no harm
+shall come to you, and you shall be well rewarded by your master. Some
+money has been stolen from him, and it is not possible that you know
+nothing about it.
+
+JAC. (_aside_). The very thing I wanted in order to be revenged of our
+steward. Ever since he came here, he has been the favourite, and his
+advice is the only one listened to. Moreover, I have forgotten neither
+the cudgelling of to-day nor ...
+
+HAR. What are you muttering about there?
+
+OFF. (_to_ HARPAGON). Leave him alone. He is preparing himself to
+satisfy you; I told you that he was an honest fellow.
+
+JAC. Sir, since you want me to tell you what I know, I believe it is
+your steward who has done this.
+
+HAR. Valere?
+
+JAC. Yes.
+
+HAR. He who seemed so faithful to me!
+
+JAC. Himself. I believe that it is he who has robbed you.
+
+HAR. And what makes you believe it?
+
+JAC. What makes me believe it?
+
+HAR. Yes.
+
+JAC. I believe it...because I believe it.
+
+OFF. But you must tell us the proofs you have.
+
+HAR. Did you see him hanging about the place where I had put my money?
+
+JAC. Yes, indeed. Where was your money?
+
+HAR. In the garden.
+
+JAC. Exactly; I saw him loitering about in the garden; and in what was
+your money?
+
+HAR. In a casket.
+
+JAC. The very thing. I saw him with a casket.
+
+HAR. And this casket, what was it like? I shall soon see if it is
+mine.
+
+JAC. What it was like?
+
+HAR. Yes.
+
+JAC. It was like ... like a casket.
+
+OFF. Of course. But describe it a little, to see if it is the same.
+
+JAC. It was a large casket.
+
+HAR. The one taken from me is a small one.
+
+JAC. Yes, small if you look at it in that way; but I call it large
+because of what it contains.
+
+HAR. And what colour was it?
+
+JAC. What colour?
+
+OFF. Yes.
+
+JAC. Of a colour ... of a certain colour.... Can't you help me to find
+the word?
+
+HAR. Ugh!
+
+JAC. Red; isn't it?
+
+HAR. No, grey.
+
+JAC. Ha! yes, reddish-grey! That's what I meant.
+
+HAR. There is no doubt about it, it's my casket for certain. Write
+down his evidence, Sir! Heavens! whom can we trust after that? We must
+never swear to anything, and I believe now that I might rob my own
+self.
+
+JAC. (_to_ HARPAGON). There he is coming back, Sir; I beg of you not
+to go and tell him that it was I who let it all out, Sir.
+
+
+SCENE III.--HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, VALERE, MASTER JACQUES.
+
+HAR. Come, come near, and confess the most abominable action, the most
+horrible crime, that was ever committed.
+
+VAL. What do you want, Sir?
+
+HAR. What, wretch! you do not blush for shame after such a crime?
+
+VAL. Of what crime do you speak?
+
+HAR. Of what crime I speak? Base villain, as if you did not know what
+I mean! It is in vain for you to try to hide it; the thing is
+discovered, and I have just heard all the particulars. How could you
+thus abuse my kindness, introduce yourself on purpose into my house to
+betray me, and to play upon me such an abominable trick?
+
+VAL. Sir, since everything is known to you, I will neither deny what I
+have done nor will I try to palliate it.
+
+JAC. (_aside_). Oh! oh! Have I guessed the truth?
+
+VAL. I intended to speak to you about it, and I was watching for a
+favourable opportunity; but, as this is no longer possible, I beg of
+you not to be angry, and to hear my motives.
+
+HAR. And what fine motives can you possibly give me, infamous thief?
+
+VAL. Ah! Sir, I do not deserve these names. I am guilty towards you,
+it is true; but, after all, my fault is pardonable.
+
+HAR. How pardonable? A premeditated trick, and such an assassination
+as this!
+
+VAL. I beseech you not to be so angry with me. When you have heard all
+I have to say, you will see that the harm is not so great as you make
+it out to be.
+
+HAR. The harm not so great as I make it out to be! What! my heart's
+blood, scoundrel!
+
+VAL. Your blood, Sir, has not fallen into bad hands. My rank is high
+enough not to disgrace it, and there is nothing in all this for which
+reparation cannot be made.
+
+HAR. It is, indeed, my intention that you should restore what you have
+taken from me.
+
+VAL. Your honour, Sir, shall be fully satisfied.
+
+HAR. Honour is not the question in all this. But tell me what made you
+commit such a deed?
+
+VAL. Alas! do you ask it?
+
+HAR. Yes, I should rather think that I do.
+
+VAL. A god, Sir, who carries with him his excuses for all he makes
+people do: Love.
+
+HAR. Love?
+
+VAL. Yes.
+
+HAR. Fine love that! fine love, indeed! the love of my gold!
+
+VAL. No, Sir, it is not your wealth that has tempted me, it is not
+that which has dazzled me; and I swear never to pretend to any of your
+possessions, provided you leave me what I have.
+
+HAR. In the name of all the devils, no, I shall not leave it to you.
+But did anyone ever meet with such villainy! He wishes to keep what he
+has robbed me of!
+
+VAL. Do you call that a robbery?
+
+HAR. If I call that a robbery? A treasure like that!
+
+VAL. I readily acknowledge that it is a treasure, and the most
+precious one you have. But it will not be losing it to leave it to me.
+I ask you on my knees to leave in my possession this treasure so full
+of charms; and if you do right, you will grant it to me.
+
+HAR. I will do nothing of the kind. What in the world are you driving
+at?
+
+VAL. We have pledged our faith to each other, and have taken an oath
+never to forsake one another.
+
+HAR. The oath is admirable, and the promise strange enough!
+
+VAL. Yes, we are engaged to each other for ever.
+
+HAR. I know pretty well how to disengage you, I assure you of that.
+
+VAL. Nothing but death can separate us.
+
+HAR. You must be devilishly bewitched by my money.
+
+VAL. I have told you already, Sir, that it is not self-interest which
+has prompted me to what I have done. It was not that which prompted my
+heart; a nobler motive inspired me.
+
+HAR. We shall hear presently that it is out of Christian charity that
+he covets my money! But I will put a stop to all this, and justice,
+impudent rascal, will soon give me satisfaction.
+
+VAL. You will do as you please, and I am ready to suffer all the
+violence you care to inflict upon me, but I beg of you to believe, at
+least, that if there is any harm done, I am the only one guilty, and
+that your daughter has done nothing wrong in all this.
+
+HAR. I should think not! It would be strange, indeed, if my daughter
+had a share in this crime. But I will have that treasure back again,
+and you must confess to what place you have carried it off.[6]
+
+VAL. I have not carried it off, and it is still in your house.
+
+HAR. (_aside_). O my beloved casket! (_To_ VALERE) My treasure has not
+left my house?
+
+VAL. No, Sir.
+
+HAR. Well, then, tell me, have you taken any liberties with...?
+
+VAL. Ah! Sir, you wrong us both; the flame with which I burn is too
+pure, too full of respect.
+
+HAR. (_aside_). He burns for my casket!
+
+VAL. I had rather die than show the least offensive thought: I found
+too much modesty and too much purity for that.
+
+HAR. (_aside_). My cash-box modest!
+
+VAL. All my desires were limited to the pleasures of sight, and
+nothing criminal has profaned the passion those fair eyes have
+inspired me with.
+
+HAR. (_aside_). The fair eyes of my cash-box! He speaks of it as a
+lover does of his mistress.
+
+VAL. Dame Claude knows the whole truth, and she can bear witness to
+it.
+
+HAR. Hallo! my servant is an accomplice in this affair?
+
+VAL. Yes, Sir, she was a witness to our engagement; and it was after
+being sure of the innocence of my love that she helped me to persuade
+your daughter to engage herself to me.
+
+HAR. Ah! (_Aside_) Has the fear of justice made him lose his senses?
+(_To_ VALERE) What rubbish are you talking about my daughter?
+
+VAL. I say, Sir, that I found it most difficult to make her modesty
+consent to what my love asked of her.
+
+HAR. The modesty of whom?
+
+VAL. Of your daughter; and it was only yesterday that she could make
+up her mind to sign our mutual promise of marriage.
+
+HAR. My daughter has signed a promise of marriage?
+
+VAL. Yes, Sir, and I have also signed.
+
+HAR. O heavens! another misfortune!
+
+JAC. (_to the_ OFFICER). Write, Sir, write.
+
+HAR. Aggravation of misery! Excess of despair! (_To the_ OFFICER) Sir,
+discharge your duty, and draw me up an indictment against him as a
+thief and a suborner.
+
+JAC. As a thief and a suborner.
+
+VAL. These are names which I do not deserve, and when you know who I
+am....
+
+
+SCENE IV.--HARPAGON, ELISE, MARIANNE, VALERE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES,
+THE POLICE OFFICER.
+
+HAR. Ah! guilty daughter! unworthy of a father like me! is it thus
+that you put into practice the lessons I have given you? You give your
+love to an infamous thief, and engage yourself to him without my
+consent! But you shall both be disappointed. (_To_ ELISE) Four strong
+walls will answer for your conduct in the future; (_to_ VALERE) and
+good gallows, impudent thief, shall do me justice for your audacity.
+
+VAL. Your anger will be no judge in this affair, and I shall at least
+have a hearing before I am condemned.
+
+HAR. I was wrong to say gallows; you shall be broken alive on the
+wheel.
+
+ELI. (_kneeling to her father_). Ah! my father, be more merciful, I
+beseech you, and do not let your paternal authority drive matters to
+extremes. Do not suffer yourself to be carried away by the first
+outburst of your anger, but give yourself time to consider what you
+do. Take the trouble of inquiring about him whose conduct has offended
+you. He is not what you imagine, and you will think it less strange
+that I should have given myself to him, when you know that without him
+you would long ago have lost me for ever. Yes, father, it is he who
+saved me from the great danger I ran in the waters, and to whom you
+owe the life of that very daughter who ...
+
+HAR. All this is nothing; and it would have been much better for me if
+he had suffered you to be drowned rather than do what he has done.
+
+ELI. My father, I beseech you, in the name of paternal love, grant
+me ...
+
+HAR. No, no. I will hear nothing, and justice must have its course.
+
+JAC. (_aside_). You shall pay me for the blows you gave me.
+
+FRO. What a perplexing state of affairs!
+
+
+SCENE V.--ANSELME, HARPAGON, ELISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE, VALERE, THE
+POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES.
+
+ANS. What can have happened, Mr. Harpagon? You are quite upset.
+
+HAR. Ah, Mr. Anselme, you see in me the most unfortunate of men; and
+you can never imagine what vexation and disorder is connected with the
+contract you have come to sign! I am attacked in my property; I am
+attacked in my honour; and you see there a scoundrel and a wretch who
+has violated the most sacred rights, who has introduced himself into
+my house as a servant in order to steal my money, and seduce my
+daughter.
+
+VAL. Who ever thought of your money about which you rave?
+
+HAR. Yes; they have given each other a promise of marriage. This
+insult concerns you, Mr. Anselme; and it is you who ought to be
+plaintiff against him, and who at your own expense ought to prosecute
+him to the utmost, in order to be revenged.
+
+ANS. It is not my intention to force anybody to marry me, and to lay
+claim to a heart which has already bestowed itself; but as far as your
+interests are concerned, I am ready to espouse them as if they were my
+own.
+
+HAR. This is the gentleman, an honest commissary, who has promised
+that he will omit nothing of what concerns the duties of his office.
+(_To the_ OFFICER, _showing_ VALERE) Charge him, Sir, as he ought to
+be, and make matters very criminal.
+
+VAL. I do not see what crime they can make of my passion for your
+daughter, nor the punishment you think I ought to be condemned to for
+our engagement; when it is known who I am ...
+
+HAR. I don't care a pin for all those stories, and the world is full,
+nowadays, of those pretenders to nobility, of those impostors, who
+take advantage of their obscurity and deck themselves out insolently
+with the first illustrious name that comes into their head.
+
+VAL. Know that I am too upright to adorn myself with a name which is
+not mine, and that all Naples can bear testimony to my birth!
+
+ANS. Softly! Take care of what you are about to say. You speak before
+a man to whom all Naples is known, and who can soon see if your story
+is true.
+
+VAL. (_proudly putting on his hat_). I am not the man to fear
+anything; and if all Naples is known to you, you know who was Don
+Thomas d'Alburci.
+
+ANS. Certainly; I know who he is, and few people know him better than
+I do.
+
+HAR. I care neither for Don Thomas nor Don Martin. (_Seeing two
+candles burning, he blows one out_.)
+
+ANS. Have patience and let him speak; we shall soon know what he has
+to say of him.
+
+VAL. That it is to him that I owe my birth.
+
+ANS. To him?
+
+VAL. Yes.
+
+ANS. Nonsense; you are laughing. Try and make out a more likely story,
+and don't pretend to shelter yourself under such a piece of imposture.
+
+VAL. Consider your words better before you speak; it is no imposture,
+and I say nothing here that I cannot prove.
+
+ANS. What! You dare to call yourself the son of Don Thomas d'Alburci?
+
+VAL. Yes, I dare to do so; and I am ready to maintain the truth
+against anyone, who ever he may be.
+
+ANS. This audacity is marvellous. Learn to your confusion that it is
+now at least sixteen years ago since the man of whom you speak died in
+a shipwreck at sea with his wife and children, when he was trying to
+save their lives from the cruel persecutions which accompanied the
+troubles at Naples, and which caused the banishment of several noble
+families.
+
+VAL. Yes; but learn to your confusion that his son, seven years of
+age, was, with a servant, saved from the wreck by a Spanish vessel,
+and that this son is he who now speaks to you. Learn that the captain
+of that ship, touched with compassion at my misfortune, loved me; that
+he had me brought up as his own son, and that the profession of arms
+has been my occupation ever since I was fit for it; that lately I
+heard that my father is not dead, as I thought he was; that, passing
+this way to go and find him out, an accident, arranged by heaven,
+brought to my sight the charming Elise; that the sight of her made me
+a slave to her beauty, and that the violence of my love and the
+harshness of her father made me take the resolution to come into his
+house disguised as a servant, and to send some one else to look after
+my parents.
+
+ANS. But what other proofs have you besides your own words that all
+this is not a fable based by you upon truth.
+
+VAL. What proofs? The captain of the Spanish vessel; a ruby seal which
+belonged to my father; an agate bracelet which my mother put upon my
+arm; and old Pedro, that servant who was saved with me from the wreck.
+
+MAR. Alas! I can answer here for what you have said; that you do not
+deceive us; and all you say clearly tells me that you are my brother.
+
+VAL. You my sister!
+
+MAR. Yes, my heart was touched as soon as you began to speak; and our
+mother, who will be delighted at seeing you, often told me of the
+misfortunes of our family. Heaven spared us also in that dreadful
+wreck; but our life was spared at the cost of our liberty, for my
+mother and myself were taken up by pirates from the wreck of our
+vessel. After ten years of slavery a lucky event gave us back to
+liberty, and we returned to Naples, where we found all our property
+sold, and could hear no news of our father. We embarked for Genoa,
+where my mother went to gather what remained of a family estate which
+had been much disputed. Leaving her unjust relatives, she came here,
+where she has lived but a weary life.
+
+ANS. O heaven! how wonderful are thy doings, and how true it is that
+it only belongs to thee to work miracles! Come to my arms, my
+children, and share the joy of your happy father!
+
+VAL. You are our father?
+
+MAR. It was for you that my mother wept?
+
+ANS. Yes, my daughter; yes, my son; I am Don Thomas d'Alburci, whom
+heaven saved from the waves, with all the money he had with him, and
+who, after sixteen years, believing you all dead, was preparing, after
+long journeys, to seek the consolations of a new family in marrying a
+gentle and virtuous woman. The little security there was for my life
+in Naples has made me abandon the idea of returning there, and having
+found the means of selling what I had, I settled here under the name
+of Anselme. I wished to forget the sorrows of a name associated with
+so many and great troubles.
+
+HAR. (_to_ ANSELME). He is your son?
+
+ANS. Yes.
+
+HAR. That being so, I make you responsible for the ten thousand crowns
+that he has stolen from me.
+
+ANS. He steal anything from you!
+
+HAR. Yes.
+
+VAL. Who said so?
+
+HAR. Master Jacques.
+
+VAL. (_to_ MASTER JACQUES). You say that?
+
+JAC. You see that I am not saying anything.
+
+HAR. He certainly did. There is the officer who has received his
+deposition.
+
+VAL. Can you really believe me capable of such a base action?
+
+HAR. Capable or not capable, I must find my money.
+
+
+SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ANSELME, ELISE, MARIANNE, CLEANTE, VALERE,
+FROSINE, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES, LA FLECHE.
+
+CLE. Do not grieve for your money, father, and accuse any one. I have
+news of it, and I come here to tell you that if you consent to let me
+marry Marianne, your money will be given back to you.
+
+HAR. Where is it?
+
+CLE. Do not trouble yourself about that. It is in a safe place, and I
+answer for it; everything depends on your resolve. It is for you to
+decide, and you have the choice either of losing Marianne or your
+cash-box.
+
+HAR. Has nothing been taken out?
+
+CLE. Nothing at all. Is it your intention to agree to this marriage,
+and to join your consent to that of her mother, who leaves her at
+liberty to do as she likes?
+
+MAR. (_to_ CLEANTE). But you do not know that this consent is no
+longer sufficient, and that heaven has given me back a brother
+(_showing_ VALERE), at the same time that it has given me back a
+father (_showing_ ANSELME); and you have now to obtain me from him.
+
+ANS. Heaven, my dear children, has not restored you to me that I might
+oppose your wishes. Mr. Harpagon, you must be aware that the choice of
+a young girl is more likely to fall upon the son than upon the father.
+Come, now, do not force people to say to you what is unnecessary, and
+consent, as I do, to this double marriage.
+
+HAR. In order for me to be well advised, I must see my casket.
+
+CLE. You shall see it safe and sound.
+
+HAR. I have no money to give my children in marriage.
+
+ANS. Never mind, I have some; do not let this trouble you.
+
+HAR. Do you take upon yourself to defray the expenses of these two
+weddings?
+
+ANS. Yes, I will take this responsibility upon myself. Are you
+satisfied?
+
+HAR. Yes, provided you order me a new suit of clothes for the wedding.
+
+ANS. Agreed! Let us go and enjoy the blessings this happy day brings
+us.
+
+OFF. Stop, Sirs, stop; softly, if you please. Who is to pay me for my
+writing?
+
+HAR. We have nothing to do with your writing.
+
+OFF. Indeed! and yet I do not pretend to have done it for nothing.
+
+HAR. (_showing_ MASTER JACQUES). There is a fellow you can hang in
+payment!
+
+JAC. Alas! what is one to do? I receive a good cudgelling for telling
+the truth, and now they would hang me for lying.
+
+ANS. Mr. Harpagon, you must forgive him this piece of imposture.
+
+HAR. You will pay the officer then?
+
+ANS. Let it be so. Let us go quickly, my children, to share our joy
+with your mother!
+
+HAR. And I to see my dear casket
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+ FOOTNOTES:
+
+ [1] An old comic pastoral.
+
+ [2] The real hero in Rabelais' 'Pantagruel.'
+
+ [3] Frosine professes a knowledge of palmistry.
+
+ [4] Old enemies. The Turks took Candia from the Venetians in 1669,
+ after a war of twenty years.
+
+ [5] Moliere makes use even of his own infirmities. Compare act i. scene
+ iii. This cough killed him at last.
+
+ [6] A good deal of the mystification is lost in the translation through
+ the necessity of occasionally putting _it_ for _casket_, and _she_ for
+ Elise.
+
+
+
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