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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #69211 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/69211)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The angry house, by Richard R. Smith
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The angry house
-
-Author: Richard R. Smith
-
-Illustrator: EMSH
-
-Release Date: October 23, 2022 [eBook #69211]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net.
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ANGRY HOUSE ***
-
-
-
-
-
- The ANGRY HOUSE
-
- By RICHARD R. SMITH
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Startling Stories Summer 1955.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-The house's electronic brain glowed with an intangible thing that might
-have been pride.
-
-It thought, I am content. I am content because there are so many
-things I can do to make them happy. I can cook their meals, make the
-beds, scrub my floors, wash my windows. I can bathe them, keep them
-warm, give them a gentle, cool breeze. If they want entertainment, I
-can rise hundreds of feet on my antigravity rays and give them a nice
-view. I can give them soft music, entertaining TV programs and pleasant
-surprises.
-
-The house activated one of the many telescopic scanners on the roof and
-watched its owners as their car sped down the narrow road toward the
-city. It thought, They are so young, so nice, so kind to each other
-and myself. She speaks to me with affection and he spends many hours
-learning how I operate. She will love me and he will be proud of me and
-take good care of me. I am glad they own me!
-
-It deactivated the scanner and from hidden closets, shiny machines
-quietly entered the many rooms. The tiny machines rolled on soft
-rubber wheels, floated on invisible antigravity rays and went about
-their many tasks. They sucked in dust and dirt, waxed the floors,
-washed the dishes. Behind the smooth gray walls, machines prepared the
-evening meal, checked the video schedule for the afternoon and selected
-recordings of soft music that the house's owners would enjoy.
-
-_Bing-bong._
-
-The doorbell activated certain electrical circuits and the small
-porch was splashed with gentle light. A polite voice from a concealed
-microphone said, "No one is home. Would you care to leave a message?"
-
-Politely, the house's electronic brain waited for a reply. There was
-none. "Goodbye," the house said.
-
-It felt a key in the front door. It was not like _their_ key. It did
-not fit snugly. This key wasn't meant for its front door. It hurt
-slightly but it opened the door.
-
-The intruders stepped into the foyer.
-
-Three infra-red scanners peered at the two strangers.
-
-One was a woman. Long, blond hair. Gray eyes. Small pointed nose. Blue
-dress and blue, high-heel shoes. The house evaluated her, discarded
-the word "beautiful" and decided on the words "curvaceous" and "sexy."
-Yes, it would use those words to describe her to its owners when they
-returned. It wondered briefly if they were relatives of its masters.
-
-The man was short, stocky. Dark hair, brown eyes. The house searched
-its files but could not find any complimentary adjectives. It spoke.
-"No one is home. Would you care to leave a message?" It wished it could
-inquire as to what they wanted, but there were no circuits for that.
-
-"Shut up," the man said.
-
-"Beg pardon?"
-
-"Shut up! _Keep quiet!_"
-
-"Yes, sir," the house responded. It was constructed to obey orders, but
-_that_ order was an unfamiliar one which it didn't like.
-
-"Tell it to turn on the lights," the woman said nervously.
-
-"Turn the lights on."
-
-The house waited several seconds. It was obliged to obey orders of
-guests. But were these people guests? It searched memory circuits.
-Guests were people who came to visit while owners were home. Guests
-were friendly, talkative. The house decided this man and woman did not
-fit in that category of identification.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Hurriedly, it searched its myriad electrical networks and found the
-only logical description of the intruders--burglars.
-
-Behind the walls, relays clicked and infinitesimal electrical charges
-darted across a spidery web of silver wires only to find themselves in
-the dead-ends of missing connections.
-
-The anti-burglar installations are missing! the house thought
-frantically. If the protective devices had been present, it would have
-been able to spray the intruders with tear gas, paralyze them with
-electrical charges, thrust them from the house with antigravity rays,
-or kill them by any one of a dozen methods. Without the anti-burglar
-mechanisms, it was defenseless. What can I do? the house wondered. What
-can I do!
-
-Reluctantly, the house turned the lights on.
-
-"You sure the burglar alarms haven't been installed?" the woman asked
-anxiously.
-
-"Hell. Do you think I'd come here if I wasn't sure? I told you I talked
-to the construction man. There's a shortage right now. They won't be
-put in until next week. The family doesn't know--the company didn't
-want to lose a sale."
-
-The woman's eyes widened with admiration as they scanned the hardwood
-floors, ankle-deep scatter rugs, angular furniture, large picture
-windows, wall-to-wall bookcase and abstract multidimension paintings.
-
-"They must have money," she commented. "How do we find the--"
-
-The man snapped muscular fingers with a sharp, cracking sound. "We'll
-ask the house!"
-
-A momentary silence. Then, the man's gruff voice: "House, where's the
-safe?"
-
-"I cannot divulge that information." It felt proud when it didn't
-hesitate in its answer. There were many things it couldn't tell anyone
-and it had carefully memorized them: its cost, its female owner's age,
-anything relating to the owners' sex or personal life--and, mainly, the
-location of various things, including the safe.
-
-"Tell us!" the man shouted.
-
-"No."
-
-"Damn you!"
-
-"Beg pardon?"
-
-"Go to hell!"
-
-Relays clicked silently behind the gray walls. It had been instructed
-at the factory to explain when it couldn't obey an order. It searched
-its dictionary circuits and said mechanically, "Hell: a noun. The place
-of the dead or departed souls, (more correctly Hades); the place of
-punishment for the wicked after death. I have no soul, therefore I
-cannot go to hell. I am sorry."
-
-The woman laughed. "Let's start looking. We got hours."
-
-The house watched as the strangers searched the room. It watched as the
-man took a knife from his pocket and ripped through the upholstery of a
-chair.
-
-"Please stop," the house implored.
-
-The strangers did not reply.
-
-An unpleasant sensation rippled through the house's electrical
-circuits. It wanted to make its owners happy. They wouldn't be happy
-when they returned and saw the ruined furniture. They would be sad,
-perhaps angry. She would cry and he would frown.
-
-It tried again, "Please stop."
-
-The woman was removing books from the bookcase; the man continued
-searching the furniture.
-
-They wouldn't stop when it asked them to. If it only had the burglar
-devices! Now, there was no way for it to fight.
-
-Or is there? it wondered.
-
-The lights went off.
-
-"Turn the lights on!" the woman screamed.
-
-"No."
-
-"Use the flashlight," the man said.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Simultaneously, two beams of light slashed through the darkened room.
-The strangers resumed their search.
-
-The house thought, They're trying to find the safe containing the
-money and jewels. I can't tell them where it is.
-
-I can't stop them. I need help.
-
-It cut into the phone circuits and dialed the number of its factory.
-The phone's visiscreen flared with light and a woman's face appeared
-smiling.
-
-"Johnson Construction Company."
-
-The house projected its voice toward the mouthpiece. "Please, let me
-speak to--"
-
-The man removed a weapon from his tunic. The phone and visiscreen
-vanished, leaving only small metal fragments that fell to the carpet.
-
-"It was using the phone!" the woman exclaimed shrilly, trembling in the
-darkness.
-
-"Don't worry," the man said. "They didn't have time to trace the call.
-The room was dark; they couldn't see who was calling."
-
-After a brief silence, the man warned, "House! See this thing in my
-hand? You behave yourself or I'll disintegrate your...." He let the
-sentence dangle, unable to think of what he would disintegrate.
-
-"Yes, sir," the house replied. It was an automatic response to any
-statement.
-
-"Now, turn the lights on or I'll use this gun to make one big mess of
-your floors and walls. Your owners wouldn't like that, would they?"
-
-"No, sir."
-
-It turned the lights on. If it didn't, they would use their
-flashlights, and by turning them on it might prevent some destruction.
-
-The woman chuckled. "You're a genius!"
-
-When they finished their search of the living room, the man suggested,
-"Let's search different rooms. You take a bedroom. I'll take the dining
-room. No telling where the safe is. They put it in a different place in
-every house."
-
-The house waited, its electronic brain whirling.
-
-It made a decision.
-
-Silently, the house erected an invisible energy screen around the
-dining room. The screens were designed to block collective sounds
-of the entire house from any room and provide it with a comforting
-serenity.
-
-Now, the house thought, the sound-screens will be most useful!
-
-The house watched as the man in the wrinkled brown tunic examined a
-table.
-
-Silently, panels in the walls opened.
-
-A dozen machines a foot in diameter converged at a position behind the
-man's back.
-
-The machines moved simultaneously, silently. They attached themselves
-to the intruder's body. They dusted and scrubbed him thoroughly, as if
-he were a piece of furniture or a floor.
-
-The man screamed and fired wildly with the gun. The small machines
-crumpled one by one.
-
-Click ... click ... click.
-
-"Your weapon is empty," the house observed.
-
-The man threw the gun at a window. It bounced off the hard plastic and
-clattered on the floor.
-
-"You try something like that again," he threatened, "and I'll kill you!
-So help me, I'll kill you if I have to take you apart piece by piece!"
-He shook a trembling fist at the quiet walls and twisted his face into
-a hideous snarl.
-
-The house noticed with satisfaction that the man's face and hands were
-covered with crimson streaks. The cleaning machines had served their
-purpose.
-
-The house deactivated the dining room scanners and activated scanners
-in the bedrooms.
-
-It found the woman in its owners' bedroom. It studied her as she
-searched a mattress. She was calm: because of its precaution, the
-sounds of the dining room fracas hadn't reached her ears. The house
-decided to leave the sound-blocks on. It was best to attack them
-individually.
-
- * * * * *
-
-A closet door slid into a wall. A slender machine, five feet tall and
-with sixteen long metal tentacles rolled across the room on soft rubber
-wheels.
-
-It looked like a mechanical monster from another world, but it was
-merely a very efficient machine to undress the house's masters--a
-mechavalet.
-
-The mechavalet paused behind the woman's back. Sixteen rubber-tipped
-metal tentacles reached out.
-
-The machine normally undressed a person with smoothness and gentleness.
-This time the house made it operate as roughly as possible.
-
-The sixteen tentacles moved swiftly and the machine tore the woman's
-dress to shreds before she could even scream. By the time she turned
-around, it had removed her slip and brassiere.
-
-[Illustration: Her dress was torn to shreds.]
-
-The woman screamed even more shrilly as the weird machine tugged at her
-panties. Frantically, she grabbed the slender tentacles and twisted
-them until rewarded by the crunch of delicate mechanisms not meant for
-such rough treatment.
-
-The machine served its purpose until its last metal arm was broken.
-
-The house watched as the woman cried for a few minutes and then, clad
-only in high-heel shoes and wristwatch, continued her search of the
-bedroom.
-
-She is different, the house thought. She does not scream threats at me
-like the man does. Still, I do not like her because she wants to steal
-from my masters and does not care what happens to me.
-
-The house switched its attention to the man.
-
-He had concluded his search of the dining room and was now searching a
-guest room. He found the gun the house's master had hidden there.
-
-The man waved the gun at the motionless walls. "See what I found,
-house! You try any more funny stuff and I'll kill you!"
-
-"You do not frighten me," the house replied via one of its many hidden
-microphones. To verify the statement, it turned on the heating units
-full blast.
-
-A few minutes later, the man stopped his search of a closet when he
-noticed that sweat was rolling off his body as if he were standing at
-the gates of hell itself.
-
-He left the closet and shouted at an open door, "Stop it! Do you hear,
-stop it!" He shook his head from side to side, violently, as if to
-impress the house with the necessity of obeying.
-
-"You can't stop me with the gun," the house informed him. "There are
-one hundred and two air-conditioning vents in the house. If you took
-time to find and destroy all of them, you could never leave here before
-my masters return."
-
-The man's jaw sagged, and with an equal sag of his shoulders he
-returned to his search of the closet.
-
-The house deducted, They are burglars, only burglars. They want to
-escape before my masters return because they would have to kill them
-and they are not murderers.
-
-The man grunted with satisfaction when he stopped sweating. And
-grunted with anger when, a few minutes later, the room became so cold
-he was shivering and his breath was like smoke.
-
-The house established automatic circuits to give the room a continuous
-fluctuation of temperature from extreme heat to extreme coldness every
-two minutes and turned its attention to the woman.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Still attired only in shoes and wristwatch, the woman was now searching
-the bathroom.
-
-Quite by accident, she touched a certain spot of the medicine cabinet
-and stared with fascination as the cabinet swung completely around to
-display its back which was--the safe. It was unlocked.
-
-She grabbed the large metal box inside, opened it, and glanced at the
-few glittering jewels and small bundle of bills.
-
-"It's here!" she cried. She whirled and took a step toward the door.
-
-That was as far as she got for several minutes.
-
-The bathroom was equipped with automatic dispensers of temporary and
-permanent depilatories. The house's male master used the temporary
-depilatory to shave with every morning and the house was well
-acquainted with their use.
-
-It selected the _permanent_ depilatory, and nozzles set in the tile
-walls squirted large gobs of it on the woman's head. Slender rubber
-tentacles reached out and massaged the depilatory into the hair.
-Faucets swung and sprayed jets of warm water.
-
-In a few seconds, the woman was completely hairless. She stared with
-horror at the blond hair in the pool of water at her feet. "Was it
-permanent?" she wondered aloud.
-
-"Yes," the house replied.
-
-She screamed and picked up a small weighing machine. With
-uncontrollable anger, she smashed the machine against the medicine
-cabinet.
-
-With an equal but emotionless anger, the house squirted soap into her
-eyes and sprayed her naked body with alternate jets of hot and cold
-water.
-
-The house won the battle.
-
-The woman groped blindly for the jewel box and staggered from the
-bathroom. The house turned its attention to the man again.
-
-He had searched the kitchen without incident, but as he walked toward
-the door a nearby food-dispenser opened. Prunes, waffles, bacon, eggs
-and toast left the machine with abnormal speed and struck him.
-
-He turned just in time to receive cherry pie, spaghetti and meat balls,
-butter, vegetable soup, and ice cream in his face.
-
-He shouted something unprintable at the house, wiped the mess from his
-face and took another step toward the door.
-
-Half of a watermelon hurtled from the food-dispenser and squashed
-against his skull. He stumbled, fell and slid.
-
-He heard the woman cry, "I found it!" He pulled himself to his feet. He
-ran into the hall and froze when he saw the naked, hairless apparition
-that stumbled from the bathroom.
-
- * * * * *
-
-For a moment, he forgot the money and gasped, "What happened?"
-
-"Depilatory," she explained. "The house did it." She wiped soap from
-blood-shot eyes with the back of a hand. "When we get out, give me your
-gun. I want to give this house something to remember!"
-
-The man seized the metal box and examined the contents. "Over twenty
-thousand, hon. With that, you can buy plenty of wigs." He attempted a
-smile but did succeed when he got a close look at her bald head. He
-grabbed her arm. "Let's go! You can put on my coat in the helicar."
-
-The woman allowed herself to be dragged through the house, all the
-while shaking a fist at the house's walls and threatening, "You hear
-me, house? When I get outside, I'm going to burn you! You'll make a
-nice little bonfire!"
-
-Too bad, the house reflected. Too bad I am two miles from the nearest
-neighbor. If it were not for that, I could use my amplifiers and call
-for help. I do not want them to escape with my owners' possessions. I
-can repair most of the damage but I could never recover the money and--
-
-The man stepped off the small front porch with the jewel box in one
-hand, dragging the woman behind him with the other.
-
-It was dark outside.
-
-That was why he didn't notice: The house had risen two hundred feet on
-its antigravity rays.
-
-The ground below was very hard.
-
-The house sang softly and waited for the return of its masters.
-
-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ANGRY HOUSE ***
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-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The angry house, by Richard R. Smith</p>
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-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The angry house</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Richard R. Smith</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Illustrator: EMSH</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: October 23, 2022 [eBook #69211]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net.</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ANGRY HOUSE ***</div>
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<h1>The ANGRY HOUSE</h1>
-
-<h2>By RICHARD R. SMITH</h2>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Startling Stories Summer 1955.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>The house's electronic brain glowed with an intangible thing that might
-have been pride.</p>
-
-<p>It thought, I am content. I am content because there are so many
-things I can do to make them happy. I can cook their meals, make the
-beds, scrub my floors, wash my windows. I can bathe them, keep them
-warm, give them a gentle, cool breeze. If they want entertainment, I
-can rise hundreds of feet on my antigravity rays and give them a nice
-view. I can give them soft music, entertaining TV programs and pleasant
-surprises.</p>
-
-<p>The house activated one of the many telescopic scanners on the roof and
-watched its owners as their car sped down the narrow road toward the
-city. It thought, They are so young, so nice, so kind to each other
-and myself. She speaks to me with affection and he spends many hours
-learning how I operate. She will love me and he will be proud of me and
-take good care of me. I am glad they own me!</p>
-
-<p>It deactivated the scanner and from hidden closets, shiny machines
-quietly entered the many rooms. The tiny machines rolled on soft
-rubber wheels, floated on invisible antigravity rays and went about
-their many tasks. They sucked in dust and dirt, waxed the floors,
-washed the dishes. Behind the smooth gray walls, machines prepared the
-evening meal, checked the video schedule for the afternoon and selected
-recordings of soft music that the house's owners would enjoy.</p>
-
-<p><i>Bing-bong.</i></p>
-
-<p>The doorbell activated certain electrical circuits and the small
-porch was splashed with gentle light. A polite voice from a concealed
-microphone said, "No one is home. Would you care to leave a message?"</p>
-
-<p>Politely, the house's electronic brain waited for a reply. There was
-none. "Goodbye," the house said.</p>
-
-<p>It felt a key in the front door. It was not like <i>their</i> key. It did
-not fit snugly. This key wasn't meant for its front door. It hurt
-slightly but it opened the door.</p>
-
-<p>The intruders stepped into the foyer.</p>
-
-<p>Three infra-red scanners peered at the two strangers.</p>
-
-<p>One was a woman. Long, blond hair. Gray eyes. Small pointed nose. Blue
-dress and blue, high-heel shoes. The house evaluated her, discarded
-the word "beautiful" and decided on the words "curvaceous" and "sexy."
-Yes, it would use those words to describe her to its owners when they
-returned. It wondered briefly if they were relatives of its masters.</p>
-
-<p>The man was short, stocky. Dark hair, brown eyes. The house searched
-its files but could not find any complimentary adjectives. It spoke.
-"No one is home. Would you care to leave a message?" It wished it could
-inquire as to what they wanted, but there were no circuits for that.</p>
-
-<p>"Shut up," the man said.</p>
-
-<p>"Beg pardon?"</p>
-
-<p>"Shut up! <i>Keep quiet!</i>"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir," the house responded. It was constructed to obey orders, but
-<i>that</i> order was an unfamiliar one which it didn't like.</p>
-
-<p>"Tell it to turn on the lights," the woman said nervously.</p>
-
-<p>"Turn the lights on."</p>
-
-<p>The house waited several seconds. It was obliged to obey orders of
-guests. But were these people guests? It searched memory circuits.
-Guests were people who came to visit while owners were home. Guests
-were friendly, talkative. The house decided this man and woman did not
-fit in that category of identification.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Hurriedly, it searched its myriad electrical networks and found the
-only logical description of the intruders&mdash;burglars.</p>
-
-<p>Behind the walls, relays clicked and infinitesimal electrical charges
-darted across a spidery web of silver wires only to find themselves in
-the dead-ends of missing connections.</p>
-
-<p>The anti-burglar installations are missing! the house thought
-frantically. If the protective devices had been present, it would have
-been able to spray the intruders with tear gas, paralyze them with
-electrical charges, thrust them from the house with antigravity rays,
-or kill them by any one of a dozen methods. Without the anti-burglar
-mechanisms, it was defenseless. What can I do? the house wondered. What
-can I do!</p>
-
-<p>Reluctantly, the house turned the lights on.</p>
-
-<p>"You sure the burglar alarms haven't been installed?" the woman asked
-anxiously.</p>
-
-<p>"Hell. Do you think I'd come here if I wasn't sure? I told you I talked
-to the construction man. There's a shortage right now. They won't be
-put in until next week. The family doesn't know&mdash;the company didn't
-want to lose a sale."</p>
-
-<p>The woman's eyes widened with admiration as they scanned the hardwood
-floors, ankle-deep scatter rugs, angular furniture, large picture
-windows, wall-to-wall bookcase and abstract multidimension paintings.</p>
-
-<p>"They must have money," she commented. "How do we find the&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>The man snapped muscular fingers with a sharp, cracking sound. "We'll
-ask the house!"</p>
-
-<p>A momentary silence. Then, the man's gruff voice: "House, where's the
-safe?"</p>
-
-<p>"I cannot divulge that information." It felt proud when it didn't
-hesitate in its answer. There were many things it couldn't tell anyone
-and it had carefully memorized them: its cost, its female owner's age,
-anything relating to the owners' sex or personal life&mdash;and, mainly, the
-location of various things, including the safe.</p>
-
-<p>"Tell us!" the man shouted.</p>
-
-<p>"No."</p>
-
-<p>"Damn you!"</p>
-
-<p>"Beg pardon?"</p>
-
-<p>"Go to hell!"</p>
-
-<p>Relays clicked silently behind the gray walls. It had been instructed
-at the factory to explain when it couldn't obey an order. It searched
-its dictionary circuits and said mechanically, "Hell: a noun. The place
-of the dead or departed souls, (more correctly Hades); the place of
-punishment for the wicked after death. I have no soul, therefore I
-cannot go to hell. I am sorry."</p>
-
-<p>The woman laughed. "Let's start looking. We got hours."</p>
-
-<p>The house watched as the strangers searched the room. It watched as the
-man took a knife from his pocket and ripped through the upholstery of a
-chair.</p>
-
-<p>"Please stop," the house implored.</p>
-
-<p>The strangers did not reply.</p>
-
-<p>An unpleasant sensation rippled through the house's electrical
-circuits. It wanted to make its owners happy. They wouldn't be happy
-when they returned and saw the ruined furniture. They would be sad,
-perhaps angry. She would cry and he would frown.</p>
-
-<p>It tried again, "Please stop."</p>
-
-<p>The woman was removing books from the bookcase; the man continued
-searching the furniture.</p>
-
-<p>They wouldn't stop when it asked them to. If it only had the burglar
-devices! Now, there was no way for it to fight.</p>
-
-<p>Or is there? it wondered.</p>
-
-<p>The lights went off.</p>
-
-<p>"Turn the lights on!" the woman screamed.</p>
-
-<p>"No."</p>
-
-<p>"Use the flashlight," the man said.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Simultaneously, two beams of light slashed through the darkened room.
-The strangers resumed their search.</p>
-
-<p>The house thought, They're trying to find the safe containing the
-money and jewels. I can't tell them where it is.</p>
-
-<p>I can't stop them. I need help.</p>
-
-<p>It cut into the phone circuits and dialed the number of its factory.
-The phone's visiscreen flared with light and a woman's face appeared
-smiling.</p>
-
-<p>"Johnson Construction Company."</p>
-
-<p>The house projected its voice toward the mouthpiece. "Please, let me
-speak to&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>The man removed a weapon from his tunic. The phone and visiscreen
-vanished, leaving only small metal fragments that fell to the carpet.</p>
-
-<p>"It was using the phone!" the woman exclaimed shrilly, trembling in the
-darkness.</p>
-
-<p>"Don't worry," the man said. "They didn't have time to trace the call.
-The room was dark; they couldn't see who was calling."</p>
-
-<p>After a brief silence, the man warned, "House! See this thing in my
-hand? You behave yourself or I'll disintegrate your...." He let the
-sentence dangle, unable to think of what he would disintegrate.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir," the house replied. It was an automatic response to any
-statement.</p>
-
-<p>"Now, turn the lights on or I'll use this gun to make one big mess of
-your floors and walls. Your owners wouldn't like that, would they?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, sir."</p>
-
-<p>It turned the lights on. If it didn't, they would use their
-flashlights, and by turning them on it might prevent some destruction.</p>
-
-<p>The woman chuckled. "You're a genius!"</p>
-
-<p>When they finished their search of the living room, the man suggested,
-"Let's search different rooms. You take a bedroom. I'll take the dining
-room. No telling where the safe is. They put it in a different place in
-every house."</p>
-
-<p>The house waited, its electronic brain whirling.</p>
-
-<p>It made a decision.</p>
-
-<p>Silently, the house erected an invisible energy screen around the
-dining room. The screens were designed to block collective sounds
-of the entire house from any room and provide it with a comforting
-serenity.</p>
-
-<p>Now, the house thought, the sound-screens will be most useful!</p>
-
-<p>The house watched as the man in the wrinkled brown tunic examined a
-table.</p>
-
-<p>Silently, panels in the walls opened.</p>
-
-<p>A dozen machines a foot in diameter converged at a position behind the
-man's back.</p>
-
-<p>The machines moved simultaneously, silently. They attached themselves
-to the intruder's body. They dusted and scrubbed him thoroughly, as if
-he were a piece of furniture or a floor.</p>
-
-<p>The man screamed and fired wildly with the gun. The small machines
-crumpled one by one.</p>
-
-<p>Click ... click ... click.</p>
-
-<p>"Your weapon is empty," the house observed.</p>
-
-<p>The man threw the gun at a window. It bounced off the hard plastic and
-clattered on the floor.</p>
-
-<p>"You try something like that again," he threatened, "and I'll kill you!
-So help me, I'll kill you if I have to take you apart piece by piece!"
-He shook a trembling fist at the quiet walls and twisted his face into
-a hideous snarl.</p>
-
-<p>The house noticed with satisfaction that the man's face and hands were
-covered with crimson streaks. The cleaning machines had served their
-purpose.</p>
-
-<p>The house deactivated the dining room scanners and activated scanners
-in the bedrooms.</p>
-
-<p>It found the woman in its owners' bedroom. It studied her as she
-searched a mattress. She was calm: because of its precaution, the
-sounds of the dining room fracas hadn't reached her ears. The house
-decided to leave the sound-blocks on. It was best to attack them
-individually.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>A closet door slid into a wall. A slender machine, five feet tall and
-with sixteen long metal tentacles rolled across the room on soft rubber
-wheels.</p>
-
-<p>It looked like a mechanical monster from another world, but it was
-merely a very efficient machine to undress the house's masters&mdash;a
-mechavalet.</p>
-
-<p>The mechavalet paused behind the woman's back. Sixteen rubber-tipped
-metal tentacles reached out.</p>
-
-<p>The machine normally undressed a person with smoothness and gentleness.
-This time the house made it operate as roughly as possible.</p>
-
-<p>The sixteen tentacles moved swiftly and the machine tore the woman's
-dress to shreds before she could even scream. By the time she turned
-around, it had removed her slip and brassiere.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/>
- <div class="caption">
- <p>Her dress was torn to shreds.</p>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>The woman screamed even more shrilly as the weird machine tugged at her
-panties. Frantically, she grabbed the slender tentacles and twisted
-them until rewarded by the crunch of delicate mechanisms not meant for
-such rough treatment.</p>
-
-<p>The machine served its purpose until its last metal arm was broken.</p>
-
-<p>The house watched as the woman cried for a few minutes and then, clad
-only in high-heel shoes and wristwatch, continued her search of the
-bedroom.</p>
-
-<p>She is different, the house thought. She does not scream threats at me
-like the man does. Still, I do not like her because she wants to steal
-from my masters and does not care what happens to me.</p>
-
-<p>The house switched its attention to the man.</p>
-
-<p>He had concluded his search of the dining room and was now searching a
-guest room. He found the gun the house's master had hidden there.</p>
-
-<p>The man waved the gun at the motionless walls. "See what I found,
-house! You try any more funny stuff and I'll kill you!"</p>
-
-<p>"You do not frighten me," the house replied via one of its many hidden
-microphones. To verify the statement, it turned on the heating units
-full blast.</p>
-
-<p>A few minutes later, the man stopped his search of a closet when he
-noticed that sweat was rolling off his body as if he were standing at
-the gates of hell itself.</p>
-
-<p>He left the closet and shouted at an open door, "Stop it! Do you hear,
-stop it!" He shook his head from side to side, violently, as if to
-impress the house with the necessity of obeying.</p>
-
-<p>"You can't stop me with the gun," the house informed him. "There are
-one hundred and two air-conditioning vents in the house. If you took
-time to find and destroy all of them, you could never leave here before
-my masters return."</p>
-
-<p>The man's jaw sagged, and with an equal sag of his shoulders he
-returned to his search of the closet.</p>
-
-<p>The house deducted, They are burglars, only burglars. They want to
-escape before my masters return because they would have to kill them
-and they are not murderers.</p>
-
-<p>The man grunted with satisfaction when he stopped sweating. And
-grunted with anger when, a few minutes later, the room became so cold
-he was shivering and his breath was like smoke.</p>
-
-<p>The house established automatic circuits to give the room a continuous
-fluctuation of temperature from extreme heat to extreme coldness every
-two minutes and turned its attention to the woman.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Still attired only in shoes and wristwatch, the woman was now searching
-the bathroom.</p>
-
-<p>Quite by accident, she touched a certain spot of the medicine cabinet
-and stared with fascination as the cabinet swung completely around to
-display its back which was&mdash;the safe. It was unlocked.</p>
-
-<p>She grabbed the large metal box inside, opened it, and glanced at the
-few glittering jewels and small bundle of bills.</p>
-
-<p>"It's here!" she cried. She whirled and took a step toward the door.</p>
-
-<p>That was as far as she got for several minutes.</p>
-
-<p>The bathroom was equipped with automatic dispensers of temporary and
-permanent depilatories. The house's male master used the temporary
-depilatory to shave with every morning and the house was well
-acquainted with their use.</p>
-
-<p>It selected the <i>permanent</i> depilatory, and nozzles set in the tile
-walls squirted large gobs of it on the woman's head. Slender rubber
-tentacles reached out and massaged the depilatory into the hair.
-Faucets swung and sprayed jets of warm water.</p>
-
-<p>In a few seconds, the woman was completely hairless. She stared with
-horror at the blond hair in the pool of water at her feet. "Was it
-permanent?" she wondered aloud.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes," the house replied.</p>
-
-<p>She screamed and picked up a small weighing machine. With
-uncontrollable anger, she smashed the machine against the medicine
-cabinet.</p>
-
-<p>With an equal but emotionless anger, the house squirted soap into her
-eyes and sprayed her naked body with alternate jets of hot and cold
-water.</p>
-
-<p>The house won the battle.</p>
-
-<p>The woman groped blindly for the jewel box and staggered from the
-bathroom. The house turned its attention to the man again.</p>
-
-<p>He had searched the kitchen without incident, but as he walked toward
-the door a nearby food-dispenser opened. Prunes, waffles, bacon, eggs
-and toast left the machine with abnormal speed and struck him.</p>
-
-<p>He turned just in time to receive cherry pie, spaghetti and meat balls,
-butter, vegetable soup, and ice cream in his face.</p>
-
-<p>He shouted something unprintable at the house, wiped the mess from his
-face and took another step toward the door.</p>
-
-<p>Half of a watermelon hurtled from the food-dispenser and squashed
-against his skull. He stumbled, fell and slid.</p>
-
-<p>He heard the woman cry, "I found it!" He pulled himself to his feet. He
-ran into the hall and froze when he saw the naked, hairless apparition
-that stumbled from the bathroom.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>For a moment, he forgot the money and gasped, "What happened?"</p>
-
-<p>"Depilatory," she explained. "The house did it." She wiped soap from
-blood-shot eyes with the back of a hand. "When we get out, give me your
-gun. I want to give this house something to remember!"</p>
-
-<p>The man seized the metal box and examined the contents. "Over twenty
-thousand, hon. With that, you can buy plenty of wigs." He attempted a
-smile but did succeed when he got a close look at her bald head. He
-grabbed her arm. "Let's go! You can put on my coat in the helicar."</p>
-
-<p>The woman allowed herself to be dragged through the house, all the
-while shaking a fist at the house's walls and threatening, "You hear
-me, house? When I get outside, I'm going to burn you! You'll make a
-nice little bonfire!"</p>
-
-<p>Too bad, the house reflected. Too bad I am two miles from the nearest
-neighbor. If it were not for that, I could use my amplifiers and call
-for help. I do not want them to escape with my owners' possessions. I
-can repair most of the damage but I could never recover the money and&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>The man stepped off the small front porch with the jewel box in one
-hand, dragging the woman behind him with the other.</p>
-
-<p>It was dark outside.</p>
-
-<p>That was why he didn't notice: The house had risen two hundred feet on
-its antigravity rays.</p>
-
-<p>The ground below was very hard.</p>
-
-<p>The house sang softly and waited for the return of its masters.</p>
-
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