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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d1190c4 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #68892 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/68892) diff --git a/old/68892-0.txt b/old/68892-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 58bfadc..0000000 --- a/old/68892-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2415 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of The gnome's gneiss, by Kendell Foster -Crossen - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: The gnome's gneiss - -Author: Kendell Foster Crossen - -Illustrator: Alex Schomburg - -Release Date: September 1, 2022 [eBook #68892] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GNOME'S GNEISS *** - - - - - - The Gnome's Gneiss - - A NOVELET BY - KENDELL FOSTER CROSSEN - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Startling Stories, May 1952. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - - - - I - - -A mood was upon Kevan MacGreene. As of the moment, he did not consider -this the best of all possible worlds. In fact, many arguments to the -contrary were running through his head--on shoes of iron, it seemed. -Only twenty-five years of age, Kevan MacGreene was foot-loose and fancy -free, but his thoughts were cast in gloom and darkly shaped. - -It was 1952 and the threats of atomic warfare appeared almost daily in -the newspapers. The cost of living continued to go up. The prisons and -asylums were overflowing. Congress, having investigated everything -else, had formed a Goober-Natural Committee (fifteen governors had -misunderstood and resigned the first day it was announced) and were -knee-deep in peanuts. The Soviet representative had just stormed out -of another U.N. meeting. The American representative wanted to lock -the door so he couldn't get back in. A columnist had written that -"the world is going to hell on a street car" and had been forced to -apologize to seven railroad companies and a major-interest-owned bus -line. - -But it was because of none of these things that Kevan MacGreene walked -the streets of lower Manhattan and pondered on the frailty of Man. It -was now only a few days since he had received his draft notice. Far -from objecting, he had welcomed the opportunity to become a hero--even -a radioactive one. He had quit his job in Macy's complaint department -and the night before he'd spent all of his money financing a binge for -himself and a few select friends. It had lasted until morning and then, -complete with hangover, Kevan MacGreene had reported for his physical. - -It was while being questioned by a fatherly doctor, who, it turned out, -was a psychiatrist, that Kevan made his first slip. Usually he was more -alert, but the hangover was demanding attention and he automatically -admitted that he often heard voices. Under the pressure of questioning, -while wondering if his head was really as hollow as it felt, he went -into some detail on the voices and what they said. By the time he -realized what was happening it was too late. He was classified as an -unstable personality and was being ushered through the door reserved -for those who weren't wanted. - - * * * * * - -Broke, hungry, and considerably vexed at being called an unstable -personality, especially since everything now combined to make him feel -like one, Kevan MacGreene walked through the streets of Greenwich -Village. It was in this mood that he arrived on the corner where -Fourth Street unaccountably crosses Twelfth Street. Standing there for -a minute, he happened to glance up and see the sign over one of the -buildings: - - TROUBLESHOOTERS, INC. - -Below that, in smaller letters, it said: - - _Come in._ - -Kevan MacGreene went in. - -The girl at the desk was lovely beyond words. Her hair was like black -velvet and her eyes were an emerald green. Just looking at her made -Kevan MacGreene feel better. - -"I have some troubles I'd like shot," he said, saying the first thing -that came into his aching head. - -The girl smiled with a distant friendliness. "Do you mean you'd like to -employ us?" she asked. - -"No," said Kevan MacGreene, realizing what it was that he did want. -"I'd like you to employ me." - -"I'm sorry," the girl said, "but I'm afraid there are no positions -open--none, at least, that you could fill." - -"But I need a job," Kevan said. "I--I gave up my last job because I -thought I was going to be drafted. Now I have no job and I'm broke. And -the draft board rejected me because I hear voices." - -For the first time, the black-haired girl looked interested. "What kind -of voices?" she asked. - -"Thin little piping voices," Kevan said. He didn't know why but he -felt that she would understand. "Most of the time I can't understand -what they're saying. Sometimes they sing. Like this." Wincing from the -pain in his head, Kevan sang in the highest pitch he could reach. "_Gie -brownie coat, gie brownie sark, ye'll get nae mair o' brownie's wark._" -He stopped and looked at the girl. Her smile was warmer. - -"What's your name?" she asked. - -"Kevan MacGreene." - -She nodded. "I'll see," she said. She picked up the phone and pressed -a button. He could hear the faint buzz in the inner office. "There's a -young man here," she said into the phone, "looking for a job. He says -his name is Kevan MacGreene and that he hears voices." She listened a -minute and then put the phone down. - -"He'll see you," she said. "Go in." She indicated the door beyond her -desk. - -Kevan stopped beside the desk and glanced down at the hair that was -like a raven's wing. "What's your name?" he asked. - -"Kathleen Culanna." - -"Ah," he said, "I knew there was a reason for the green in your eyes -and the harp's song in your voice. Will you have dinner with me -tonight?" - -"Go along with you," the girl said, but there was no rebuke in her -voice. "He's waiting for you." - -"Will you have dinner with me tonight?" - -"Ask me when you come back," the girl said. "If I'm still here, I will." - -"I'll be back," he said. He walked through the door and closed it -behind him. He stopped there, gazing at the man who sat at the desk in -the small room. - -He was a short man, with a face Kevan thought of as jolly even though -it seemed pinched with worry. Tufts of golden blond hair ringed a bald -head, resembling a halo. He looked up from his cluttered desk and -studied Kevan. - -"MacGreene, is it?" he said finally. "Where were you born?" - -"In New York," Kevan answered, wondering at the question. - -"And your father?" - -"Fergus MacGreene. He was born in the old country, Ulster, I think, -but he became a citizen as soon as he could after arriving here." He -wondered if this was some sort of loyalty check. - -"You hear voices, do you?" the little man asked. - -"I do," Kevan said shortly, thinking that it had been a mistake to -mention it. "As did my mother, and her mother before her. But it's -never interfered with a job I've held." - -"Of course not." The worried expression was fading from his face. -"You're hired. My name is Brian Shanachie." - -"But--but I don't understand," Kevan said. He was feeling confused and -he wasn't sure whether it was the hangover or the company. "Don't you -want to know my qualifications?" - -"You've already told me," said Brian Shanachie. "Your name's MacGreene -and you hear voices. What more could I ask--even though it's true I'm -in a bit of a pinch? Here I was, with every one of my men out on a job -and me with an emergency on my hands, when, Finbheara be praised, in -you walked. You'll be quite ready to go to work at once?" - - * * * * * - -Kevan MacGreene was more confused than ever, but a generous streak of -stubbornness came to his aid. "You may be satisfied," he said, dropping -into the chair in front of the desk, "but I want to know something -about the job before I take it. What does Troubleshooters, Inc., do?" - -"You don't know?" the little man asked in surprise. - -Kevan shook his head, an act which painfully reminded him of his -headache. - -"Oh, well," sighed Brian Shanachie, "but it'll have to be brief. There -is an emergency. Tell me, Kevan MacGreene, you know of the Little -People?" - -It was Kevan's turn to be surprised. "Gnomes?" he asked. - -"Gnomes, dwarfs, brownies, leprechauns, fairies, druids, apuku, the -Wanagemeswak, it matters little what you call them. You know of them?" - -"My mother used to tell me about them," Kevan said, "but she was a -woman without education. I've been through college and while they are -interesting legends--" - -"Agh!" interrupted Brian Shanachie. "There's the trouble with the -world. Too much education in the wrong things. If it weren't for people -like you, Kevan MacGreene, who've given up the old ways, I wouldn't -have to be working here, slaving away all hours--" - -It was obvious that he was working himself into a rage, so Kevan -interrupted. "Okay, so there _are_ Little People," he said. He thought -he might as well humor his prospective employer. He glanced at him more -closely. "Don't tell me you're one? You're too big." - -"Too big for a gnome, too small for a mortal," said Brian Shanachie, -his humor restored, "No, I'm neither. My father was the son of -Finbheara himself, but my mother was a mortal. So I am well suited for -this job." - -"Which is what?" - -"I'm telling you," said Brian Shanachie, with a scowl. "In the -days when people had enough sense to believe in the Little People, -diplomatic relations were handled on an individual basis. The -individual who aroused the anger of a gnome would himself put out an -offering of milk, with perhaps a wee drop of brandy in it, or offer him -a new cloak and hood. But with the coming of such fine education that -the Little People were forgotten there was a problem. It was then that -my little organization was started. More properly it should be known -as the Bureau of Mortal-Gnomic Adjustments, but there are too many -non-believers who would only plague me with their silly questions, so I -called it Troubleshooters, Inc." - -"But what do you do?" Kevan asked. He had a strange feeling that the -more it was explained the less he understood. - -"Adjust matters between mortals and gnomes, of course," snapped the -other. He picked up some papers on his desk. "Now, take the case I'm -assigning you to, the emergency--I'm putting it in the files as The -Case of the Gnome's Gneiss...." - -"I beg your pardon?" - -"Gneiss," said Brian Shanachie with some irritation. "G-N-E-I-S-S. -Everybody certainly knows what gneisses are." - -"I don't." - -"College education," the little man sneered. "Gneisses are rocks -made of thin layers of minerals. Now, a gnome, or a dwarf, if you -prefer--he's been called both--named Alviss is one of the finest -gneiss-makers in the world. Recently, he had just finished what he -considered his masterpiece, a gneiss composed of some fifteen different -minerals, and all of fifty feet long, when directly over the spot where -it was located an atom bomb test was held. You can imagine the results. -The gneiss was cracked beyond repair. Alviss, with certain provocation -you must admit, is angry. In fact, he grows angrier every minute and I -understand that he is on the verge of declaring open war against all -mortals." - -"So what?" asked Kevan. "What could he do?" - -"What could he do?" echoed Brian Shanachie in horror. "Why, there is no -end to what he could do. Sour milk, make cows go dry, put changelings -in the place of mortal infants, make the hens lay square eggs. Water -might run uphill, hens would crow and roosters cackle, and the sun set -in the east. And that, mind you, would be only the work of Alviss. If -the others of the Little People helped him, and fully half of them -would have to, then you can imagine the chaos. - -"No, it's obvious Alviss must be appeased and since the ones who -dropped the bomb will not do so, it is up to us to avert the war." - -"Why not just explain to--er--Alviss that it was all a mistake?" Kevan -suggested. - -"'Twouldn't do. Alviss is a sensitive one, as you will see, and it'll -take more than that to make him forget his grudge." - -"As I will see?" - -"Certainly," said Brian Shanachie, nodding his head. "It is you who -will go to see Alviss." - - * * * * * - -It wasn't that Kevan MacGreene was willing to so quickly forego his -skepticism and embrace a belief in the Little People, but his head hurt -too much to argue and he was in a mood to take what came along and let -things work themselves out. - -"But what do I do after I see him?" he asked. - -"Find out what will keep him peaceful and, if it's within reason, give -it to him. If it isn't, then you may have to appeal to the Council -of Gnomes, or even to the four kings. I'll be giving you this--" -Brian Shanachie came around the desk and fixed what seemed to be a -small metal flower in the lapel of Kevan's coat--"by which you can -discuss any settlement with me. All you have to do is shout my name -and the contact will be made. It is also possible for me to deliver -to you, by teleportation, certain mortal materials when they will aid -in adjustments. I remember one time when peace was made with Sindri, -over the matter of a mortal who tried to steal his treasure, with -the presentation of a radio.... But now get along with you, Kevan -MacGreene." - -"Just a minute," said Kevan, "how much does this job pay?" - -"Enough in mortal money that you'll have no complaint," Brian Shanachie -snapped. "Be gone with you." - -"Where?" Kevan asked. "I mean how do I get there?" - -Brian Shanachie looked surprised, then nodded. "Of course, you wouldn't -know, would you? I best look it up, to be sure that we still have it -right." He took a thick book from his desk, thumbing through it rapidly -while muttering to himself. Then he nodded again. "Yes, 'tis still in -the proper alignment. And all you have to do, my boy, is walk through -yon door." - -For the first time, Kevan noticed another door in the office near to -the chair in which he sat. He stood up and looked at it uncertainly. - -"But be sure and watch the first step," said Brian Shanachie. "It's -been a bit broken since the time Regin came to see me and stomped on -the step instead of knocking." - -"But how do I find Alviss after I get through the door?" Kevan wanted -to know. - -"Ask," said Brian Shanachie. "You can ask anyone--no, but better, -perhaps since you're a new employee you'd best first go and pay your -respects to Finbheara, Iubdan, Geanncanac, and Daoine Glas, the four -kings. They'll be sure to know where you can find Alviss. Run along -with you." - - - - - II - - -Taking a deep breath, Kevan MacGreene put his hand on the door knob and -opened it. Then he stepped through. - -He felt his foot strike the edge of something solid and then he was -falling. He tried to twist and grab, but there was nothing to grab. -Down he went--falling, it seemed, slowly and interminably--until -finally he landed with a thump. Looking around, he realized he was -sitting on the ground of a forest. There was an eerie look to the trees -around him, their limbs twisting skyward, their leaves looking like -green woven silk. - -Sitting there on the ground, Kevan MacGreene became aware of the most -startling thing. His hangover was gone as if it had never existed. -That, more than anything, made him decide to believe that he was in the -land of the Little People. He'd had many a hangover, but never had one -vanished so quickly and painlessly. - -"It's a pity you wouldn't watch where you're falling," a voice said -peevishly. - -Kevan looked around, but saw nothing except the trees. "Where are you?" -he asked cautiously. - -"Right here," answered the voice. And it did sound as though it was -right beside him. - -"I can't see you," he said. - -"Of course, you can't," snapped the voice. "That's because I'm looking -at you. Oh, all right, I'll turn, although I don't know why I should." - -Then in front of Kevan's eyes there suddenly appeared a little man, no -more than two feet high. His face, in profile, was sharp and pointed. - -"How did you do that?" Kevan asked with interest. - -"Do what?" - -"You were invisible. Then suddenly you were visible." - -"I wasn't anything of the kind," the little man said. "I was merely -looking at you. When I'm looking at you, you can't see me. When you can -see me, I can't see you--but I don't start making nasty cracks about -you being invisible." - -"Why?" - -"Because I'm good-natured," grumbled the gnome. - -"No, I mean why can't I see you if you're looking at me?" - -"Because I'm one of the Wanagemeswak of Penobscot," the gnome announced -with pride. "I'm so thin that mortals can only see me when I'm in -profile. So when I turn to look at you, you can't see me. Like this." -The gnome's head slowly turned to face Kevan--and then it vanished. -"Now do you understand?" asked the voice. - -Kevan MacGreene blinked his eyes rapidly and then switched his gaze to -one of the more solid-looking trees. - -"No," he said, "but don't try to explain it to me again. I'm afraid I'd -only understand less than I do now. But, if you will, you can tell me -how to find the four kings." - -"Oh, sure," said the voice. "Just go straight down this path and turn -left at the third snail. You can't miss it after that." - -"Thanks," said Kevan, waving one hand toward the spot where he thought -the gnome was. He set out in the direction indicated, keeping a sharp -watch-out for snails. - -As Kevan MacGreene walked through the forest, he became aware of -the sounds about him. From every side flooded the songs of birds. -Somewhere ahead of him two squirrels barked indignantly at each -other. He caught sight of huge antlers as a deer crashed through the -underbrush to his right. But having lived all of his life in New York -City, Kevan was not attuned to these new sounds. - -"Noisy place," he said to himself. "It's interesting to visit a place -like this, but I'd certainly hate to live here." - -After what seemed like a long walk, he sighted his third snail and -turned left. For a moment he considered speaking to the snail, -remembering that in all the stories he'd heard speech was standard -equipment for all forms of life in fairyland, but he refrained because -of the petulant look on the snail's face. - -The new path seemed well-worn and he strode along at a fast pace. It -wasn't long before he saw an impressive castle ahead. Long before he -reached it, he could hear the sound of loud and quarrelsome voices -coming from it. He wondered if this was the beginning of the riot he -was to quell and hesitated. But only for a minute. - -"I'll be damned," he muttered under his breath, "if any two-foot -fugitive from a Walt Disney movie is going to scare me." He set his jaw -grimly and marched on. - - * * * * * - -When he entered the castle, Kevan MacGreene found himself in what was -obviously the throne room. There were four elegant thrones, all empty. -From in front of the thrones came the loud voices, even more shrill -now that he was nearer. His eyes became accustomed to the dim light -and Kevan saw four little old men. They were alike as four peas in a -pod. None of them was more than two feet in height, although each wore -a peaked hat which gave the illusion of adding eight or ten inches. -Each of them had a long white beard, almost reaching the floor. At the -moment, four faces were screwed up in rage, while four fists shook -themselves in the air. - -"Isn't it a grand brawl?" asked a voice near Kevan. He turned and saw -another gnome, his eyes fixed admiringly on the four old men. - -"What's wrong with them?" Kevan asked. - -"There's nothing wrong with them," the other said. "'Tis but a bit of -an argument. They're just working themselves up to the interesting -stage." - -"What are they arguing about?" - -"Sure and it's the same old argument--which of them has the longest -beard. It's been going on ever since Finbheara endorsed Macushla's -Magic Beard Groom, claiming that he had the longest beard in all -Midgard. Iubdan brought suit in the Court of the Leprechauns to prove -Finbheara a liar, but then Geanncanac and Daoine Glas called both of -them liars and so it started." - -"Do you think it'll last long?" Kevan asked anxiously. - -"Until there's not a hair left on the chin of a one of them," the gnome -said with anticipation. "Then they'll retire for a few hours until -their beards grow back--and they'll be at it again. Isn't it heavenly?" - -"I was hoping to ask them where to find someone," Kevan said. - -The gnome turned and looked up at Kevan, who in turn noted that since -he could still see the little man he must not be of the Wanagemeswak. - -"You're a mortal," said the gnome in tones of accusation. - -"Yes," confessed Kevan. - -"Then, by the same reasoning," continued the gnome, "it must be that -you were sent here by Brian Shanachie and that it's Alviss you're -looking for. Now, that will be a donnybrook for fair when you find him. -I've a notion to go with you." - -"It'll really amount to very little," Kevan said hastily. "I'm sure -you'll find this much more interesting. But you could tell me how to -find Alviss." - -The gnome seemed to be debating with himself, but renewed shrieks of -rage from the other side of the throne room drew his gaze back there. -He jerked a thumb in the direction from which Kevan had come. "Across -the way and into the hill," he said. - -Kevan MacGreene stepped back outdoors and saw a small brass door set in -the hill. He walked across and entered. As the door swung shut behind -him, he found himself in a tunnel running straight back through the -hill. It was dimly lighted, but Kevan managed to make his way along -it--with some difficulty, however, since he had to walk stooped over to -keep from bumping his head. - -After walking for some time, around numerous twists and bends, Kevan -heard the murmur of a voice somewhere ahead. As he proceeded, it became -louder. Finally, he rounded a turn in the tunnel and saw a small, -stocky dwarf busily stirring a huge cauldron with one hand while with -the other he kept throwing various ingredients into the steaming pot. -It was he who muttered and Kevan could now make out the words. - -"A pinch of chlorite, a bit of mica, some biotite, spoon of felspar; -a little graphite, and now amphibole, dust with kyanite, and top with -idocrase--" - -"What's idocrase?" Kevan asked. - -"_Don't do that!_" screamed the little man. He whirled around, molten -rock dripping from the spoon in his hand, to glare at Kevan, his bushy -red beard bristling with anger. - -"I merely asked what idocrase is," Kevan said mildly. - -"You didn't have to sneak up on me like that. And any fool knows that -idocrase is a hydrous silicate of calcium and aluminum and that you -can't bake a decent gneiss without it." His eyes suddenly narrowed as -he took in Kevan's size. "You're a mortal," he said. - - * * * * * - -Kevan nodded. The little man reached behind him, grabbed a pickaxe and -came up swinging. Kevan MacGreene leaped to one side only in time. - -"Wait a minute," he yelled. "I claim diplomatic immunity." - -The dwarf stopped short and glared. "Diplomatic immunity?" he said. -"What's that?" - -"It means you're not allowed to attack me," said Kevan. "Brian -Shanachie sent me here on a diplomatic errand." - -It was plain that the dwarf saw no reason for restraining his anger, -but he was sufficiently uncertain to hold back. "Brian Shanachie should -mind his own business," he growled. - -"Now, I'm looking for Alviss...." - -"I'm Alviss." - -"Good," Kevan said. He had no idea of how to go about adjusting the -matter which he'd been sent to fix, but he had determined on a firm -course. "Now, what seems to be the matter, Alviss?" he asked briskly. - -"Matter?" repeated Alviss, his voice going up a few octaves. For a -moment, it looked as if he might succumb to his rage, but he controlled -it. "I made the finest gneiss that has ever been formed in the entire -history of Midgard. No sooner had it hardened than you mortals came -along and cracked it right down the center." - -"But it was an accident," Kevan said. "An atom bomb was being tested -and it was by accident that they happened to set it off over your work. -You see, these atom bomb tests are a part of our national defense -program--" - -"So it's defending yourselves you are," Alviss said grimly. "Then you -can just defend yourselves against me." - -"I'm sure," Kevan said, "that the Combined Command would have been more -careful but--well, I'm afraid that the truth of the matter is that the -Army doesn't officially believe in gnomes." - -"They don't, eh?" said Alviss with a nasty grin. "Then they'll have -nobody to blame but themselves when their fine bombs bounce back in -their laps and when the barrels of their guns turn to rubber and drop -the bullets at their feet." - -"You mustn't do that," Kevan said hastily. "The psychiatrists would -only pin a label on it which would destroy the morale of our Army. To -say nothing to what it would do to the WAC and the WAVE. There must be -some other solution." - -"No," said Alviss firmly. "My honor is at stake." - -"But there must be another way of saving your honor. You look like a -reasonable--er--person, Mr. Alviss. I'm sure that between the two of -us, we can find a way...." - -"Well," said Alviss and there was a shrewd look in his eyes, "perhaps, -if you were to bring me Thrud...." - -"Thread?" exclaimed Kevan, relief coming with the misunderstanding. -"What kind?" - -"Not thread," said Alviss. "Thrud. Do you mean, mortal, that you do not -know the story of Alviss?" - -Kevan shook his head. - -"What's your name, mortal?" - -"Kevan MacGreene." - -"'Tis a good name," said the dwarf. - - * * * * * - -Alviss sat down on the floor and for the first time his face lost its -look of anger. "It was long ago," he said. "More years than you mortals -can reckon. But I was an adventurous lad and one night I crossed the -bridge Bifrost from Midgard to Asgard. Asgard, you understand, is the -land of the old gods, but I was safe there as long as it was dark. -While I was there, I met Thrud, only daughter of Thor, god of the -yeomen and peasants, dispenser of thunder. Aye, she was beautiful--more -beautiful than you'd know, Kevan MacGreene--and I knew she was the lass -for Alviss. It seemed that she felt the same way about me, despite the -fact that she was three times my height. Hand in hand, we went to see -Thor--faith and there's one for whom I would set bear traps every night -if he were my father-in-law." - -"I gather that he turned you down?" Kevan said. - -"Worse," said Alviss. Rage and sorrow intermingled on his face. "By -the beard of Daoine Glas, he tricked me. He said that Thrud could marry -me and come away if I would answer thirteen questions. Bad cess to him, -I agreed. His twelve questions were to give the names for the world, -the moon, the sun, the clouds, the wind, the calm, the sea, the trees, -the night, fire, wheat and beer in all the worlds of the Aesir, Vanir, -giants, elves and gods." - -"What are they?" Kevan asked curiously. - -"There is no time to tell you, as you will see. But I was then fresh -from visiting the worlds he'd mentioned and I knew the names well. -We sat there in Thor's palace, Belskirnir, before a great roaring -fire--Thor holding his great head in his hands as he listened, Thrud -sitting beside me and holding my hand--and I recited the names. It was -a long task and I didn't notice that it was daylight as I finished. I -spoke the last name and then demanded Thrud's hand. Thor only grinned -and pointed. I turned to look in the direction he was pointing and the -last thing I saw in Asgard was the sun streaming through the window. As -it touched me, I turned to stone." - -Two tears streaked down the dwarf's face and were lost in his red beard. - -"Why did you turn to stone?" Kevan asked. - -"It was the law of the land--and still is," said Alviss. "If the sun -shines on any of the Little People while in Asgard, they turn to stone. -Thor had tricked me. I would be there still if Hreidmar and Sindri -hadn't come to rescue me. As soon as they carried me back to Midgard, -the spell was gone and I was myself again. But Thrud was lost to me -forever." - -"Why didn't you go back some night and get her?" asked Kevan. Being a -practical man, he added, "Or why didn't she run away and join you?" - -"You're excessively stupid, even for a mortal," snapped the dwarf. -"Once the spell had been upon me, I would turn to stone should I ever -again set foot in Asgard. And it has been decreed that there are only -three ways in which Thrud may ever leave Asgard. Hand in hand with her -true love, carried over Bifrost by a mortal, or when she goes to Gimli -after Ragnarok." - -"Well," said Kevan MacGreene finally, "it's a very touching and -romantic story and I assure you that you have my deepest sympathy--but -I'm afraid I fail to see how it concerns our present problem." - -"Do you now?" asked Alviss. He gazed up from beneath his bushy red -eyebrows. "All you have to do, my lad, is go to Asgard and bring Thrud -here to me. If you do that, I'll not make war against the mortals. Fail -and I'll strike immediately." - -"Oh, come now," said Kevan. "You can't seriously expect me to go in and -kidnap the girl out from under the nose of her father and I don't know -how many other characters. It's not fair." - -"Its fair enough and you'll get no more from me," said Alviss. "Be off -with you--for if you're not back here by the end of the month, I'll -start my war." - -"The end of the month? Mortal time or your own?" - -"Mine, of course." - -"How much time does that give me?" asked Kevan. - -The dwarf scratched his head, lost in deep thought. Then he began -chanting to himself: - -"Junius, Aprilis, Septemq, Novemq, tricenos - -"Unum plus reliqui, Februs tenet octo vicenos - -"At si bissextus fuerit superadditur unus--" He rolled his eyes toward -the roof and seemed to be counting. "That'll give you until tomorrow -morning," he finally announced. - -"But that's impossible," exclaimed Kevan. - -"Not impossible if you stretch your legs instead of standing here -stretching your tongue," said Alviss. "Your only problem with time is -getting from here to Yggdrasil and then from there to here. The time -you spend in Asgard will not count since time there does not exist in -relation to our time." - -"Yggdrasil?" repeated Kevan. "Where is that?" - -"That's part of your problem," said the dwarf. He turned back and began -stirring his cauldron and it was obvious that he intended to talk no -more. Kevan MacGreene turned and went back through the long, winding -tunnel. - - - - - III - - -When he was once more outside, across from the palace of the -four kings, he suddenly remembered something that the head of -Troubleshooters, Inc. had told him. He looked and saw that the small -metal flower was still in his lapel. He put his mouth close to it and -shouted. - -"Brian Shanachie!" - -"Well," said a voice which seemed to come out of the air directly over -his head, "I was wondering if I were ever going to hear from you." - -"What do you mean?" Kevan demanded indignantly. "I haven't been here -more than an hour." - -"Time, my dear boy, is relative," the voice said airily. "How did you -make out with Alviss?" - -Kevan quickly related all that had happened. "What shall I do?" he -asked when he'd finished. "Obviously I can't go to--wherever it is--and -just steal the girl." - -There was a heavy sigh out of the air above his head. "It is a rather -difficult task," admitted the voice, "for one of your inexperience. -Unfortunately, there are no other agents unengaged at the moment, so I -guess there's nothing to do but go get the girl." - -"I won't," Kevan MacGreene said grimly. "I've had enough of this. I -quit." - -"My dear boy," the voice said, "you can't quit. If you're not employed -by me, there is no way back here, and without the badge of my office -you might find it rather difficult to get along where you are." - -Kevan was silent in the grip of frustration. - -"Besides," the voice continued sternly, "don't forget that you're a -MacGreene. Once removed from the County Ulster 'tis true, but still a -MacGreene. Quitting is not for the likes of you." - -It was, moreover, the only argument to sway Kevan MacGreene. "Okay," he -said wearily, "where do I find this Yggdrasil?" - -"Just go due Southeast by Northwest and you can't miss it." The voice -sounded pleased with itself. - -"And what is Yggdrasil?" Kevan asked. - -"The world tree--and that's why you can't miss it. You'll see it miles -before you reach it. How much time did Alviss give you?" - -"Until tomorrow morning." - -There was a thin whistle in the air. "That isn't much time. I guess -you'll be needing some assistance. Don't move for the next minute, my -lad." - -There seemed to be a crackling in the air around Kevan's head and -then beside him stood a new jeep. It was painted a pleasant emerald -green--which reminded Kevan of Kathleen Culanna's eyes--and lettered on -the side were the words _TROUBLESHOOTERS, INC.--OUR SPELLS, CURSES AND -KNELLS ARE GUARANTEED_. - -"What's the slogan for?" Kevan asked. - -"Oh," said the voice of Brian Shanachie, "that jeep was built to be -used only in the land of the Little People and it doesn't hurt to -advertise, you know. After all, we do work for both sides in making -our adjustments. It helps to build confidence if they know that we -guarantee to handle any matter up here which threatens them. But -it's getting late. Perhaps you'd better run along. Oh, yes, there is -one more thing. That is a new jeep and I didn't have time to install -a spell-bumper. Some of the more provincial gnomes are not yet -accustomed to our jeeps and may try to throw a spell at you. So if you -notice one apparently weaving something in the air, I'd suggest that -you dodge as quickly as possible. Good-by--and don't hesitate to call -on me if you need anything." - -There was dismissal in the voice, so Kevan MacGreene stepped gingerly -into the jeep. It turned out, however, to be quite solid, so he sat -down with growing confidence. The first thing that caught his eye was -the compass just over the steering wheel. If anyone had told Kevan that -a compass could manage to point Southeast by Northwest, he wouldn't -have believed him--but this one did. - - * * * * * - -He stepped on the starter and the motor of the jeep caught with a -full-throated roar which was the most comforting thing that had -happened to Kevan since he'd left Brian Shanachie's office. He put it -in gear and let out the clutch. The jeep leaped forward eagerly. - -He was just driving past the palace, from which could still be heard a -subdued roar, when he discovered a small gnome standing in the shadow -of the building. The gnome was glaring at the green jeep and his -hands were making strange passes in front of him. Kevan gazed at him -curiously and then suddenly remembered what Brian Shanachie had said. -He twisted the wheel and sent the jeep bouncing over a small hill. - -Glancing back, he was glad he had remembered, for he was just in time -to see a tree turn into some sort of giant pink worm and go wriggling -off at a mad pace. The tree was just beyond where the jeep would have -been if he'd continued straight. Kevan had no doubt that if he'd failed -to turn, he would have been riding just such a pink monstrosity. - -He soon got the jeep straightened out again in the direction of the -compass needle and pressed the accelerator to the floor. The little car -went bouncing over rocks and hills, undaunted by all that was in its -path, and Kevan MacGreene grinned happily. This was the sort of magic -which gave him a sense of reality. - -After what seemed like a couple hours of riding, Kevan found he was -approaching the giant tree which he assumed must be Yggdrasil. He'd -sighted it more than an hour back and for the past half hour had been -driving in the shade of the tree. Now, just beyond it, he could see the -huge flat rainbow arching up into the sky. - -He arrived near the trunk of the tree and stopped the jeep, while -he looked around for the bridge. There was nothing that resembled -one--except the rainbow. He noticed that its incline was gradual enough -to be ascended and finally decided that it must be the bridge for which -he was looking. He was about to put the jeep into gear, when a new -voice spoke to him. - -"Really, old chap," it said, in the broadest of English accents, "I -wouldn't, y'know. Bifrost is composed of fire, air and water. I should -imagine the fire element might harm your tyres, to say nothing of -exploding your petrol." - -Kevan looked around but saw only a huge serpent coiled around the -tree, apparently gnawing on its roots, and a sneaky looking squirrel -which was just then scurrying up the trunk of the tree. He had about -concluded that he was again dealing with a gnome who was too thin to be -seen when he noticed that the serpent's eyes were fixed on him and that -there seemed to be a friendly gleam in them. - -"Were you addressing me?" he asked. - -"Yes," said the serpent. "I'm aware that it was forward of me, -y'know--we haven't been introduced and all that--but, dash it all, one -just can't let a chap rush into danger." - -Kevan found himself grinning at the accent. "Who are you?" he asked. - -"Nidhoggr, the serpent of Yggdrasil," the snake said. - -"I'm Kevan MacGreene. How do you do." - -"Charmed, I'm sure," said the serpent, with what was obviously meant -for a friendly smile. The effect was modified unpleasantly by the -appearance of his fangs. - -"If you're a part of this set-up," Kevan said, with a wave which -included the tree and the rainbow bridge, "I should guess that you must -be Teutonic in origin, yet you seem to have a rather marked English -accent." - -"Do you like it?" the serpent said eagerly. "I think it sounds -rather cultured myself. I picked it up from an English sparrow who -occasionally visits me. He's taught me some rather jolly songs -too--especially one, I believe it's called 'The Base-born King of -England.' Would you care to hear it?" - -"Some other time, perhaps," Kevan said, smothering a desire to laugh. -"Although I believe you have the title slightly wrong. Now, what were -you saying about not crossing the bridge in my jeep?" - -"I don't believe it's safe," the serpent said. "I understand that fire -and petrol do not mix well. You can walk across, y'know--it makes a -splendid little outing. I believe the water and air keep the fire -cool enough not to burn and I understand, in fact, that it's rather -invigorating." - -"Well, I suppose there's nothing to do but walk," Kevan said. He shut -off the motor and climbed out of the jeep. - -"You're quite sure it's safe?" - -"Positive, old chap. It's safe for everyone except Thor. He's been -forbidden to step on it because of his heavy tread--he's a peasant, -y'know. It's not as if he were a gentleman." The serpent glanced up -toward the trunk of the tree, where a squirrel could be seen now -scurrying downward. "There comes Ratatosk again," he said, lowering his -voice. "He spends all his time between Vedfolnir, on the upper branch, -and myself trying to stir up trouble. An officious little blighter. -You'd best hurry along or he's bound to think there's something -subversive in our little chat." - -"Okay," Kevan said with a grin. "Thanks for the advice." He waved to -the serpent and started up the rainbow bridge. To his surprise, the -mere touch of the bridge was invigorating. Through the soles of his -shoes he could feel a combination of heat and coolness and it seemed -that strength flowed up into him. He strode briskly along. - - * * * * * - -When he was well up over the curve of the bridge, he stopped a moment -and looked back. By stretching his neck, he could make out the top -of the tree and he caught a glimpse of a golden rooster perched on -the very tip. It looked like a tiny spot of gold in the midst of the -evergreen leaves. - -In only a few more minutes, he was nearing the other end of the rainbow -bridge. In the far distance, he could see the turrets of a number of -huge castles. - -The rest of the way was mostly down hill and he completed it at a fast -pace. He stepped off the bridge and stopped to look around, wondering -about his next move, when he was startled by a loud roar of pain. It -seemed to come not far from his right, so he turned in that direction. -After a moment's walk, he came around a small hill and found himself in -front of a large cave. - -A young man stood in the entrance of the cave. He was clad in golden -chain mail, but wore no helmet so that his bright yellow hair fell to -his shoulders. He was handsome beyond the highest standards set by -mortal movies, yet his beauty was all masculine. There, Kevan found -himself thinking, stands one who looks every inch a god. - -He'd been staring at the blond man for several minutes before he -realized what was represented in the full picture. The young man was -standing in the mouth of the cave because he was chained here. Huge -golden chains ran from his arms and legs, and from a collar around his -neck, to the walls of the cave. The chains were tight so that he had -little room to move about. Directly above the cave a large serpent was -lying. Its open mouth was just above the entrance to the cave and its -venom was steadily dripping from the gleaming fangs toward the man -below. But standing alongside of the cave was a beautiful blonde--and, -Kevan noted with some embarrassment, scantily-clad--young woman. She -held a silver cup in her hand in which she caught the dripping venom -just before it reached the young man. - -"By Gimli," the young man was saying as Kevan arrived, "you took long -to empty that last draught, Signe. I thought a sea of venom had struck -me. Now--" He broke off as he caught sight of Kevan. His bright blue -eyes moved swiftly as he looked Kevan over. - -"What manner of a one have we here?" he said. "Although it's been -immortal long since I've seen a mortal, I could swear this is one. And -in Asgard." He raised his voice. "Are you a mortal, strange one?" - -"Yes," Kevan said, trying to be polite enough not to show that he found -anything strange in the scene before him. "My name is Kevan MacGreene." - -"Welcome to Asgard, Kevan MacGreene," the blond young man said. He -grinned merrily and rattled the chains that held him. "It may seem -strange to you to be welcomed by one so carefully chained, but after -all I am a son of Odin and I presume I can still shout a welcome. I am -Loki and this is my wife, Signe. As you can see, she's busy." - -[Illustration: "Welcome to Asgard, Kevan MacGreene," the blond young -man said, grinning merrily and rattling the chains.] - -The young woman glanced quickly around to acknowledge the introduction -with a smile, then turned her attention back to the cup she held. - - - - - IV - - -Now Kevan MacGreene was not especially accustomed to travel--before -this day his travels had been limited to a few trips to Coney Island, -once or twice to Canarsie, and once to Staten Island when he'd made -the mistake of asking a girl for a date before finding out where she -lived. As a result, he was none too sure how to act in the present -circumstances. In the travels already mentioned, he'd never come across -a god imprisoned in golden chains--he wasn't even sure he'd ever read -of such a thing before. Yet it was rather foolish to act as if nothing -were unusual. At the same time, the god might be sensitive to strange -remarks about his condition. - -It needed a diplomacy which Kevan MacGreene wasn't sure he possessed. -Should he (he wondered) offer his help or would such an offer coming -from a mere mortal be considered an impudence. - -"I'll wager," said Loki with a laugh, "that the mortal caught sight -of your ruby lips, Signe, and is wondering if you'd reward him for -rescuing your husband." He laughed louder as Kevan MacGreene blushed. -"She would at that, Kevan MacGreene," he said, "but I fear you'll go -unrewarded. I was put here by my father and brothers and no mortal can -undo their work. But it shall be undone in time, never fear. As it -is, I don't find it too bad except for the moments when Signe goes to -empty the cup. Although it is a bit confining." He laughed again in -appreciation of his own wit, rattling the chains to the accompaniment -of his laughter. - -"You're a brother of Thor?" Kevan asked. - -"Aye, that I am. If you're looking for Thor, I can tell you one thing. -He'll bore you to tears trying to show you how strong and smart he is. -I'd rather be in chains than with Thor." - -"Well," said Kevan, "the truth of the matter is that I don't want to -see Thor, but I'm afraid I have to." - -"Ah," said Loki, "is it a matter of asking Thor for some sort of -intercession on behalf of the yeomen or peasants? I wasn't aware that -we were still worshipped among people. It seems to me I remember Hermod -returning from one of his trips with the news that other gods now had -the concession among you mortals. But then I suppose that new gods are -a bit like wine--all fizz and not very much kick." - -Kevan had been embarrassed by the turn of the conversation but saw no -way of stopping it once it had started. When the god finished speaking, -he cleared his throat nervously and tried to straighten things out. - -"I'm sorry, Mr. Loki," he said, "but I'm afraid that you aren't -worshipped by mortals--at least, by none that I know. In fact, most -people know nothing about you." He thought he saw a look of sorrow -cross the face of the chained god. "I must confess I'm not very -familiar with the facts about you myself, but I do know there are a -number of written records about all of you. I believe some of them are -quite complete, although of course they usually add that you were only -superstitious myths." - -"Oh, well," Loki said, laughing softly, "I don't care what you call me -so long as you spell my name right." - -Kevan was pleased that the god was taking it so well. - -"But," Loki continued, "if it's not a matter of arranging a sacrifice, -what does bring you here? I cannot remember when a mortal last visited -Asgard." - - * * * * * - -Kevan quickly debated the matter in his mind and decided there could be -no harm in telling this god the reason for his visit. It even occurred -to him that since Thor had helped to chain him in the cave, Loki -might be anxious for revenge and would be willing to furnish him with -valuable clues. - -"Do you remember a dwarf named Alviss?" he asked. "He once visited -here, although I believe it was quite some time ago." - -"Alviss," mused the god, staring into space, although still managing to -keep one eye on his wife to be sure she didn't shift the cup. "Wasn't -that the one who became infatuated with Thrud?" - -"That's the one," said Kevan. - -"I remember him now," said Loki. "He's the one that Thor tricked into -staying around until morning and he turned to stone." Loki laughed -until the cave rang with the merry sound. "Thor was always a tricky -one. Oh, a fine fellow when it came to drinking or wenching, but -tricky. I well remember the time he and I met two little redheads at -a convention of--_OUCH!_" The last was a bellow of pain as his wife -moved the cup just enough to permit a drop of venom to fall on him. He -strained against the chains until the pain subsided. Then he grinned -ruefully at Kevan. "Sorry," he said. "It must have been two other -fellows." - -"Well," said Kevan, rushing to fill what he thought was an embarrassing -gap, "Alviss is still in love with Thrud." - -"Even as a stone," exclaimed Loki. "Oh, I remember now--he was stolen -from Thor's palace a few nights later. I suppose his friends unstoned -him, as it were." - -Kevan nodded. "Exactly," he said. "Now, there's a small matter with -Alviss which needs adjusting and his price is that I bring Thrud to -him." - -"Hmmmm," said Loki. He re-examined Kevan, with something like -admiration in his gaze. "I could better understand it if you were -after Thrud yourself--she is a winsome wench. But to do it for this -Alviss--well, you've sliced yourself a bit of a job." - -"I'm well aware of it," Kevan said modestly. "Naturally, I'd appreciate -any advice...." - -"Naturally," Loki said, not unkindly. He looked at Kevan again. "I -admit I wouldn't mind seeing you put one over on Thor. Maybe...." - -"Loki," the god's wife said sharply, speaking for the first time, "you -promised to keep out of politics." - -"But this isn't politics, honey," Loki said. "It's romance. In a way, -it's legitimately part of my business. If love is a fire kindled in the -heart, then surely the god of fire can concern himself with it. Tell -me, Kevan MacGreene, is there anything in your mortal world which Thor -might consider flattering to himself?" - -Kevan thought for a minute and then suddenly remembered something. "I -believe so," he said. "One of the days of our week is called Thursday. -I believe that it was originally named after Thor." - -"Just the thing. When you leave here--wait, do you come from a -particular province in the mortal world?" - -"Not exactly a province. I'm from New York City in America. It's the -largest and greatest city in the world, located, I might add, in the -greatest country in the world." - -"Of course," Loki said amiably. "Now, when you leave here you will stop -at the first station you come to and send Thor a ravengram. You'll tell -him that you're the American ambassador and--" - -"But I couldn't say that," protested Kevan. "It's not true." - - * * * * * - -Loki encouraged him. "You're an American, aren't you?" - -"Yes." - -"And didn't you tell me that this Alviss had sent you here as his -ambassador to get Thrud?" - -"Y-yes." - -"Well, then, you're an American ambassador," Loki said with finality. -"Tell Thor that you want to see him about presiding at a dedication -ceremony for this day. It's been so long since a mortal asked Thor -to preside at anything he's bound to fall for it. That will get you -invited to Belskirnir." - -"I guess I could do that," Kevan said doubtfully. "But getting out will -be harder than getting in, won't it?" - -"Nothing to it," said Loki with confidence. "Do you know any good -riddles?" - -"Riddles?" repeated the amazed Kevan. "You mean things like--like 'What -flies forever and rests never?'" - -"The wind," Loki said promptly. "That's the general idea, although -you'll need to get newer ones than that. The really old ones Thor will -know. Can you manage some more modern ones?" - -"I'll try," Kevan said. He remembered that his mother had often read -riddles to him as a child and he thought he could recall some of them. - -"About three good riddles should be about right. When you get to -Belskirnir, the first thing you'd better do is tip off Thrud why you're -there. Then you challenge Thor to guess your three riddles. If he -fails--and he will if you use good ones for nobody ever accused Thor of -being bright--then he lets you take Thrud away." - -"That sounds all right, except for one thing. What if Thor doesn't -accept the challenge?" - -"I'm coming to that," Loki said thoughtfully. "At the same time you -send the message to Thor, you send one to my father." - -"Your father?" Kevan asked, wishing he could remember more of the old -legends. He resolved to brush up on them if he kept this job. - -"Odin," Loki explained. "He's Thor's father too and he's still the -head of the family. The old man is a stickler for convention, so you -merely send him a message asking to call on him first before visiting -Thor. Better not mention that you've already met me. The old man will -be pleased that a mortal recognizes that he's still the head of the -house. While you're talking to him, casually mention that you're going -to challenge Thor to three new riddles. Be sure to stress the _new_." - -Kevan nodded. He could see little sense in any of this, but was willing -to grant that this was possibly because he was a stranger in the land. - -"My father," continued Loki, "is a real pig for knowledge. He'll try to -pump you for the answers to the riddles. If you refuse then he'll show -up at Belskirnir and he'll make Thor accept the challenge, just so he -can hear the answers." - -"You're sure?" Kevan asked. - -"Positive. The old man will go through anything just to learn something -new. He once gave up one of his eyes just for one drink from Mimir's -well of knowledge. Another time, he hung in a trance from Yggdrasil, -with his head in Niflheim, for nine days in order to learn to write -runes. You can't miss if you do as I tell you." - - * * * * * - -Some of Loki's confidence surged through Kevan. "This is mighty nice of -you, Mr. Loki," he said. "Isn't there something I can do to repay you?" - -"I guess not," Loki said sadly, "There is only one way in which these -chains can be broken and I doubt if you could manage it by yourself. -It's really not too bad--although I do get rather bored at times -just standing here and seeing the same things all the time. It was a -pleasure to talk with you." - -"Wait a minute," Kevan cried. "I think I have an idea. I'll be right -back." He ran around the side of the hill. As soon as he was out of -sight and hearing, he stopped. He put his mouth close to his lapel and -called: "Brian Shanachie." - -"Midgard to Asgard, over," said the voice from above his head. The tone -and the words seemed to indicate that Brian Shanachie was in good humor. - -"I believe," Kevan said carefully, "that there may be a good chance -of my being able to get Thrud for Alviss. I've just met my first -inhabitant of Asgard and he's been very helpful. In fact, I'd like to -repay him in some way, which is why I called." - -"A friend at court, eh?" said the voice. "Who did you meet?" - -"He said his name is Loki." - -"Loki?" said the voice. "Isn't he in durance vile, or some such thing?" - -"He's chained in a cave, if that's what you mean," Kevan said. "I can't -imagine why they would treat him like that. He seems very nice." - -"What did he tell you about himself?" - -"Nothing. I did gather from some reference he made to his wife that -he's the god of fire." - -"That's right," said the voice. "Also god of mischief and evil. You -understand, my boy, we make a practice of not interfering with an -agent in the field, but if I were you I'd go rather easy on making -gifts to Loki. No files baked in a cake, or that sort of thing. If Loki -ever breaks loose from his chains, it means the end of the world." - -"I find it very difficult to believe that Loki is evil in any way," -Kevan said with dignity. "However, I was merely thinking of providing -him with some entertainment. He told me that he gets bored just -standing there, always with the same view." - -"Well--do whatever you think best. What sort of a gift did you have in -mind? Dancing girls?" - -"No," Kevan said indignantly. "I don't think his wife would approve and -I doubt if we could morally justify such a gift. But didn't you mention -that you had once made a gift of a radio to one of the gnomes?" - -"That's right." - -"I was wondering how such things would work here," Kevan said. "After -all, they are electrically powered and I doubt if they have many modern -conveniences here." - -"No problem at all," the voice said cheerfully. "Electrical objects -become so charged during teleportation that they run for a long time. -Did you want to give Loki a radio?" - -"No, I was thinking of a television set. Perhaps one with a twenty-four -inch screen. Now, after your information, I'm even more sure that this -will make a superb gift for him. If you are correct in saying that he's -the god of the evil, some good wholesome entertainment may be good for -him. Television, you know, is an excellent way of keeping the children -off the streets and--" - -"Spare me the commercials," snapped the voice. "You want it right -there?" - -"No, wait until I get back to the cave. You might also include a remote -control tuning device. I imagine he might find it difficult to handle -the controls otherwise." - -Kevan hurried back to the cave, whereupon Loki stopped trying to guess -how full the cup was that Signe held and watched him with interest. -Kevan stood at a spot where he judged that Loki could get the best view -and once more spoke into the flower in his lapel. - -"Okay, send it along," he said. - - * * * * * - -Once more the air seemed to crackle around him and there was a solid -thump as the television set came to rest only a few inches from Kevan's -foot. - -"In the name of Garm, what is that?" demanded Loki. - -"A television set," Kevan said. "I think you will find that it will do -much to relieve your boredom." He bent over and turned on the switch -and was pleasantly surprised to see the screen light up. He fiddled -around with the controls until he got a station tuned. It was a news -broadcast, which normally would have interested him, but he was more -curious to see Loki's reaction. The god was staring at the screen -with bulging eyes. Satisfied, Kevan turned the volume down so that he -wouldn't have to compete with the announcer's voice. - -"That," he said, "happens to be what we call a news broadcast. That -is, the man is telling what is actually happening in the world of the -mortals. But you will find other things that are more amusing. In fact, -there are a few comedians you might find highly entertaining--I imagine -that you are of a sufficiently ancient period to find their jokes new." - -Kevan went on to explain to the god how the remote control device could -be used to change stations and to raise or lower the volume. A look of -speculation crept into Loki's face as the explanation was being given. - -"This is really very nice of you," he said when Kevan had finished. "I -wonder if I might impose on you for another favor?" - -"Of course," Kevan said promptly. - -"I have three children," Loki said, "two boys and a girl. Would it be -possible to get such a machine for each of them? I'm sure they would -enjoy it." - -Kevan nodded. "Television is wonderful for children," he said. "I -understand they have some very delightful children's programs on, too. -Do you think table models might do for them?" - -"Anything," Loki said. - -"And where would you like them delivered?" Kevan asked. "I could go to -wherever they live, so the sets would be delivered there." - -"No, I wouldn't think of putting you out. Right here will be fine. I'm -sure we can arrange for them to be picked up." - -Kevan nodded again and bent his head to speak into the metal flower. -"Three more television sets," he ordered. "Table models, if you don't -mind." - -He thought he heard a grumbling grunt from the air above his head, but -a moment later three small television sets were dumped on the ground -beside the larger one. - - - - - V - - -After accepting Loki's profuse thanks, Kevan MacGreene went on his -way, feeling virtuous for having performed such a good deed. It did -occur to him that he should have recommended a few good programs for -Loki, perhaps one or two of a spiritual nature, but he decided against -turning back to correct it. There was a possibility that a god might -resent being instructed by a mere mortal. - -Kevan walked rapidly along the broad path he discovered and it -wasn't long before he arrived at what Loki had called the first -station--although in reality it was little more than a thatched hut. -Kevan entered and soon composed the two messages which he wanted to -send to Thor and Odin. He handed them over to the old man who ran the -station and almost immediately two ravens darted from the hut. Kevan -retired to a corner to await their return, but much to his surprise he -had barely seated himself when the ravens were back. - -Impressed by the service, Kevan toyed with the idea of learning -more about the method, thinking that it might be knowledge he could -take back and sell for a reasonable price to the various telegraph -companies. But he dismissed this as probably being unfair to Brian -Shanachie. - -While the answers were brief and to the point, it seemed that both -Odin and Thor would be happy to see the mortal ambassador. After -some dickering with the old man who ran the ravengraph agency, which -involved handing over his wristwatch, Kevan received a horse and -instructions on how to reach Odin's local castle. As he rode off, the -old man was holding the watch to his ear and nodding in time to the -rhythmic ticking. - -It was a pleasant ride over the rolling hills of Asgard, and Kevan soon -arrived at the huge, sprawling castle. The guards evidently expected -him, for he was immediately shown into the throne room of the chief of -the gods. - -Odin, bald-headed and gray-bearded, slouched on his throne and regarded -his visitor with interest. It was a mutual attitude, with Kevan finally -deciding that Odin must be something of a local character. There were -two ravens seated on his shoulders and they seemed to be constantly -whispering in his ears. On either side of the throne a gigantic wolf -was crouched. Except for his costume, Odin reminded Kevan of an aging -Hollywood producer ready to have his picture taken for the press. But, -of course, he permitted none of this disrespect to show in his manner. - -Kevan delivered a carefully-rehearsed speech, in which he praised -Odin's great knowledge, then fell silent. - -Odin nodded, as though agreeing with all the points made. "And what are -your plans now, mortal?" he asked. - -"I thought of visiting Thor," Kevan said. - -"My son?" the old god asked, blinking in astonishment. "Why should you -visit him? You seem interested in knowledge. I'm afraid you'll find -my son rather dull company. Or were you planning to ask for a thunder -license?" - -"I want to challenge him to answer three riddles," Kevan said. "If he -fails to answer them, then I will claim his daughter, Thrud." - -"Thrud, eh?" Odin said. A crafty look came into his eyes. "If it's only -a matter of a woman, why not stay here and expound your riddles. I'll -let you have one of the Valkyries. It'll be a much better bargain. They -are all quite skilled in the arts of love and Thor is rather strict -with Thrud so she may be a little too innocent for a man of the world -such as yourself." - -"No, it must be Thrud," Kevan said, deciding there was no use in -defending the purity of his own intentions. - -"Jaded appetites, eh?" the old god said, shrugging his shoulders. "What -riddles are you going to try on my son? Perhaps I can advise you." - -"I'm sorry, sir," Kevan said, "but I'd rather not say. You know the old -saying, 'the walls have ears'?" - -"Of course they do," Odin said a trifle impatiently. "They're battle -trophies. I removed every single one of them myself." - -At first, Kevan thought the god might be a little mad, but then he -realized that the walls of the throne room were indeed covered with -ears. And not very attractive ears at that. "No, no," he said, averting -his eyes, "I meant that someone might overhear the riddles and tip off -Thor." - -"And he wouldn't be above using the information," Odin agreed. "Well, -I'll tell you what--I'll ride you over to Thor's." - -"I wouldn't want to trouble you," Kevan began, but was stopped by a -wave of Odin's hand. - -"No trouble. After all, we seldom have visitors here. I wouldn't want -it said that Odin lets visitors just wander off by themselves--maybe -even be eaten up by a stray dragon. Besides, I wouldn't mind seeing -that son of mine taken down a notch or two." He looked pleased at the -prospect. - - * * * * * - -The mention of dragons was enough to keep Kevan from protesting -further. Within a few minutes, he was again mounted on his horse while -Odin rode beside him. As they galloped through the gate, they were -joined by a dozen of the Valkyries. These beautiful young women, their -charms not sufficiently concealed by the armor they wore, immediately -began casting covetous glances at Kevan. He was careful to ride close -beside Odin. - -Their arrival at Thor's castle, Belskirnir, was filled with confusion -for Kevan. The palace was swarming with various lusty gods, their -wives, mistresses and children. He was introduced to so many that he -could remember the names of none. He did, however, catch the name of -Thrud when he was introduced to a shapely blonde girl, with a sullen -face. He managed to whisper to her, telling her who he was and the -purpose of his errand, whereupon the sullenness fell from her face. The -result was so startling that Kevan found it difficult to remember that -he was there on behalf of Alviss. - -It seemed that they were just in time for a banquet and Kevan found -himself forced to go through what seemed like a hundred course meal, -consisting mostly of half-cooked venison, and so many cups of mead that -his head was swimming. - -Kevan had tried several times to get Thor's attention to bring up the -matter of his challenge, but found it almost impossible to make himself -heard above the roar of voices in the banquet hall. But the matter was -finally settled for him by Odin, whose curiosity could no longer stand -the strain. - -"Quiet," shouted the chief of the gods, leaping to his feet. He struck -the table a mighty blow with his hand, causing the mead cups to jump -and spill. "Silence!" He waited until the shouting and talking died -down. "The mortal who is our guest would like to challenge my son, -Thor, on three riddles." - -Thor looked up from the head of the table, but there was no evidence of -pleasure in his face. He was dressed in a peasant costume and Kevan had -secretly decided that the costume was an affectation. - -"I'm not interested in riddles," Thor grunted. "I know enough of them -anyway." - -"Well, I am," retorted Odin. "So you'll accept the challenge or I'll -take the thunder concession away from you and give it to Sif." - -There was a burst of laughter from around the table and Thor frowned. -He didn't really care about the thunder concession, but if it were -taken from him and given to his wife, the symbolism would be one he'd -never live down. "All right," he growled. "Where is this mortal?" - -"Here," Kevan said, standing up. He had expected to be nervous but the -mead had bolstered his courage. "But there's more to the challenge. If -you fail to answer two of the three riddles then I get to take Thrud -away with me." - -"You mean you want to marry her?" Thor asked, scowling. - -"No," Kevan said. The sudden silence that followed made his ears burn, -but he was afraid to explain more fully. If Thor knew that there was -a chance that Alviss might finally triumph over him, there was a -possibility he would brook his father's anger. So Kevan ignored the -knowing glances and kept quiet. - -"That's the trouble with you mortals," grumbled Thor. He cast a quick -glance at his father and decided not to risk arguing about it. "All -right, I agree," he said reluctantly. "What do you pay, if I answer the -riddles?" - -Kevan was taken aback. "I--I hadn't thought about that," he admitted. - -"Well, think about it," Thor snapped. "I have it. If I answer your -riddles, you'll stay here as my personal goatherd." - - * * * * * - -Kevan had gone too far to back down, so he nodded. He thought, a little -ruefully, that the next job of Troubleshooters, Inc. might be to rescue -a former agent turned goatherd. It also occurred to him that perhaps -Brian Shanachie didn't bother rescuing agents, but he pushed the -thought away. - -"Okay," he said, "here is my first riddle." He'd finally decided on a -first riddle which he suspected was too old, but it was the weakest -of his three and he wanted to get it over with. He cleared his throat -and began: "What we caught, we left behind; what we brought, we cannot -find." - -Thor's expression of worry vanished and he burst out laughing. "I -learned that one so long ago," he roared, "that when I first knew it, -it went: Hos' helomen lipometha, Hos' ouk helomen pherometha. The -answer is a flea." - -Kevan MacGreene nodded, feeling the first pangs of fear. It suddenly -dawned on him that he had little business pitting wits with a god--even -a discarded one--and he could only hope that his next two riddles -were new enough. In terms of mortal life they too were old; it was so -difficult to tell what was new for a god. - -"Here is my second riddle," he said nervously. "I have an apple I can't -cut, a blanket I can't fold, and so much money I can't count it." If -Thor guessed this one, he was finished. - -There was a long silence. Kevan sneaked a glance at Odin and the older -god's puzzled expression gave him more confidence than Thor's frown. - -The silence stretched into minutes. - -"Enough of this," shouted Odin. "Give up, you idiot, so he can tell us -the answer." - -"All right," Thor said sullenly. "I give up." - -Elation flooded over Kevan. "The apple is the sun," he said, "the -blanket is the sky, and the money is the stars." He grinned happily -at the expression of rage on Thor's face. "Here's my third and last -riddle," he said. "A long white barn, two roofs on it, and no door at -all, at all." He almost held his breath as he waited. - -Thor looked around the table as though he thought someone there might -know the answer and signal him. But the other faces were as blank as -his own. - -"By Gimli," shouted Odin, "I think he's got you, son. And a good thing, -too. It's high time that daughter of yours was getting out and learning -a thing or two. Go on--confess you're licked." - -His face red with anger, Thor nodded. - -"It's an egg," Kevan said triumphantly. - -The other gods around the table leaped to their feet and slapped Kevan -on the back in token of victory. He had just started to take a drink of -mead, however, and the result was that he choked. - - * * * * * - -Before Kevan could stop choking, the door to the banquet hall broke -down. A horse and rider came through the door, the horse rearing and -plunging, scattering gods before it. An armored god was astride the -horse, swinging a short-handled axe in his right hand. - -In a minute all of the gods were on their feet, shouting. It was Odin -who quieted them with a bellow that shook the rafters. "Well, Hermod?" -he asked as the others quieted. - -"It's Ragnarok," the newcomer shouted. "Loki is on his way, with -Jormungandr, Fenris, Hel, Garm, and the Hel-brood. To battle!" - -The gods shouted in response and before Kevan had a chance to ask a -single question, the banquet hall was emptied. Only Kevan MacGreene -still sat at the table, staring at the door through which they had all -rushed. - -"Better not to get mixed up in any strange fights," Kevan said to -himself, remembering something his father had always told him. He got -up from the table and left the room. - -Some fifteen rooms later, he found Thrud and told her of his success. -She nodded, smiling. - -"I am ready," she said. "I was sure that anyone Alviss sent would -succeed. Where is my father?" - -"They all rushed out to battle," Kevan said. "I didn't catch the -details, but I expect it's just some local argument. Maybe we'd better -hurry before your father returns and changes his mind." - - - - - VI - - -With Thrud leading the way, they went down to the courtyard. There was -a single gray horse standing there patiently. At first, Kevan thought -that it was the horse on which he had arrived, but he changed his mind -when he noticed that this one had eight legs. He counted them three -times to make sure but each time it came out eight. - -"It's a good omen," Thrud cried. "This is Sleipnir, Odin's favorite -horse." - -Kevan was in no mood to haggle over the ownership of a horse, so he -helped Thrud mount and then leaped on in front of her. He was no -sooner in the saddle than the gray horse sped through the gates. When -the eight legs really got to working, Kevan realized that they were -traveling faster than he'd ever gone in his life. - -"I must remember," he thought to himself, "to look for eight-legged -horses the next time I go to the riding academy." - -Back over the trail toward Bifrost sped the gray horse. Once far off to -the left Kevan caught sight of a warrior who looked like Odin battling -with a giant wolf. - -They were almost to the rainbow bridge when their way was barred by -another horseman, with drawn sword. The gray horse reared, six legs -threshing the air, which kept Kevan busy for a few minutes just staying -on. When that was finally accomplished, he recognized the horseman as -Loki. - -Recognition came to Loki at the same moment and he lowered the sword. -"Hello, Kevan MacGreene," he said with an odd smile. "I owe you too -much to bar your way. Go on--as far as you can." - -"Well, Mr. Loki," Kevan said. "I thought you'd be home--er--watching -television. What happened?" - -"Thanks to you, I'm free," Loki said. "It was decreed that there was -only one way that I could get free--when the greed and lust and vice -and warfare of men became great enough that it would give me the -strength to break my chains. But it is long since we've had contact -with mortals. Then, due to what you call television, I was able to see -the men of your world. There were men whose greed robbed other men. -There were men whose lust destroyed all before them. There were men -whose vices corrupted the innocent and enslaved the free. And there was -warfare on such a scale as never imagined by gods. As I watched, my -strength grew." - -"You watched the wrong people," Kevan said. "There are many good -people--although I suppose you don't hear much of them. Still, I'm glad -you were able to get free." - -Loki's gaze switched to Kevan's companion. "Thrud," he said, "I'm -sorry, but Ragnarok cannot be held back by a mere romance.... Goodbye, -Kevan MacGreene." He spurred his horse and was gone. - -The gray, eight-legged horse was half way over the rainbow bridge -before Kevan realized that the girl behind him was no longer the happy -person who had started with him. He twisted in the saddle and looked at -her. The tears were streaming down her face. - -"What's wrong?" he asked. - -"It's Ragnarok," the girl said between sobs. - -"But why are you crying?" Kevan asked, bewildered. "Your Uncle Loki -seemed happy that it was Ragnarok." - -"He would be," the girl said bitterly. "Don't you understand, Kevan, -Ragnarok is the end of the world." - -"Oh, pshaw," scoffed Kevan. "People are always predicting the end of -the world whenever there's a little argument." - -"But I'm not people," Thrud said. "I'm the daughter of Thor, the -granddaughter of Odin, and I tell you that Ragnarok means the complete -destruction of the universe. Only Lif and Lifthrasir will be left to -start a new world. But I will have to go to Gimli with my father and -the others, while Alviss will have to go to the Nida Mountains with the -rest of the dwarfs and I'll never see him again." - -"And where will I go--no, don't answer that," Kevan added quickly. "My -goodness, this is a mess. You're sure this is the end of the world?" - -"Positive," Thrud said. "And you caused it by giving Loki whatever it -was that you gave him. Without that, he would not have learned of the -evil of mortals and he'd still be chained.... I'm sorry, Kevan," she -added in a softer voice, "I know that you didn't realize what you were -doing." - -"I'd heard a lot of criticism of television," muttered Kevan, "but I -never thought it was that bad. The destruction of the universe...." - - * * * * * - -The eight-legged horse galloped off the rainbow bridge and came to a -halt near the trunk of Yggdrasil, sniffing with disdain at the parked -jeep. - -"Well," said Kevan with sudden energy, "we'll have to do something -about this. Don't you worry, my dear, Alviss and I will think of -something." He raised his voice. "Oh, you--whatever your name is!" - -"Were you addressing me?" the serpent asked, raising its head from the -roots on which it gnawed. "Oh, it's you, old boy. I was just thinking -of that song I wanted to sing to you--" - -"Not now," Kevan said hastily. "There's a lady present. Besides I want -you to do me a favor. Something called Ragnarok has started and I'm in -rather a hurry to stop it. I wonder if Miss Thrud might stay here with -you until I get back." - -"Of course," said the serpent. "Glad to have her. As a matter of fact, -I have a song which might amuse her. I believe it's called Britannia -Waives the Rules. It's a jolly song--" - -"Never mind," said Kevan. "Just see that nothing happens to her. I'll -be right back." He leaped from the back of the horse and climbed -quickly into the jeep. - -"If you're thinking of stopping Ragnarok," called the serpent, "you -had better hurry, old chap. Surtr and his men will be coming along any -minute to join the battle and I'm very much afraid that Bifrost will -collapse beneath their weight." - -"I'll hurry," promised Kevan. He waved to Thrud and started the jeep. -Within seconds, he had it traveling at top speed. - -Alviss was still stirring his cauldron when Kevan MacGreene came -bursting back through the tunnel. "Oh, it's you," he said. "Where's -Thrud? Don't tell me you didn't get her!" - -"I did and I didn't," panted Kevan. He quickly explained what had -happened, neglecting only to make it clear that the television set -had been entirely his own idea. The dwarf's face paled throughout the -recital. - -"I don't know if Ragnarok can be stopped," he muttered when Kevan had -finished. "But maybe we can find out. I've long had a suspicion...." -He walked over to one of the tunnels leading from where they stood. -"Fialer," he bellowed at the top of his voice. "Galar!" - -There was a distant answering shout and Alviss came back to where Kevan -stood. "If anybody will know," he said, "it will be Fialer and Galar. -They're the two who killed Kvaser, the god who knew all answers. You -may remember hearing of the mead which they made of Kvaser's blood and -honey, one draught of which would create a great poet." - -"I'm afraid I never heard of it," confessed Kevan, at a total loss. - -"Never mind," said Alviss. He stopped as two white-bearded dwarfs came -running into the chamber. He reached out and grabbed each of them by -the beard before the startled dwarfs had any idea of what was happening. - -"Remember when the two of you killed Kvaser?" he asked. - -"Hey, that's old stuff," one of the dwarfs said. "It's not fair -dragging it up now." - -"Besides," said the other, "the statute of limitations has run out." - -"I don't care about that," growled Alviss. "I've always had a hunch -that before you made the mead, one or both of you drank his blood -straight and gained his power of all knowledge. I want to know if -that's true and I'm going to find out or I'll knock your heads together -until there's an earthquake up above." - - * * * * * - -For a minute the two dwarfs met Alviss' gaze, but one of them finally -weakened. "It was him," he said, jerking a thumb in the direction of -his companion. - -"Is that true, Fialer?" Alviss asked. - -"Yes," the dwarf gulped. "But--" - -"I don't care about the reason," snapped Alviss. "Ragnarok has started -and I want to know if there's any way it can be stopped?" - -"Yes," said the dwarf. - -"How?" - -"A special brew of the same forces which permitted Loki and his -children to escape will imprison them again," said Fialer. "I can write -out the prescription for you in a few minutes." - -"All right," said Alviss. "Get busy and write it out. Galar, you -get going. I want every available gnome, dwarf, fairy, leprechaun, -brownie--in short, everyone here as quickly as they can make it. As for -you," he added, whirling on Kevan, "you get over in the corner and stay -out of the way until I'm ready for you." - -Kevan MacGreene got over in the farthest corner and huddled against -the wall. He had no idea of how much time passed, but the tunnel was -suddenly choked with the comings and goings of Little People. He -noticed that some carried pickaxes, some were armed with huge needles, -and others carried bags. While some were still going out on the orders -of Alviss, others were returning and mysterious objects were being -dropped in a new cauldron. Alviss was already stirring and chanting -before the last of the workers returned. It was only a little later -that Alviss looked up and beckoned to Kevan. The latter hurried over, -conscious of a horrible stench coming from the cauldron. As he arrived, -Alviss was pouring the contents into a tiny bucket. - -"A magic bucket," he explained, seeing Kevan's stare. "Now, listen -carefully. You must take this bucket and go back into Asgard. First, -get into position where the wind will blow from you toward all of the -gods. That will stop the fighting. Then if you advance with the bucket -you will be able to drive the Hel-brood, Loki, Garm, Jormungandr, -Fenris and Hel before you. When each is back in the place where they -were originally imprisoned, pour the contents of this bucket over -Loki's chains, the silken cord that bound Fenris, the water in which -Jormungandr coils, and the door to Niflheim. Then you can bring Thrud -safely here." - -"What's in it?" Kevan asked. - -"There's no time to tell you now," Alviss said. "But I guarantee you -that this will stop Ragnarok if you get there before the fighting -has stopped. If you do as I say, it will also keep Loki and his pack -chained up. There will be only one way they can ever get loose in the -future--and that will be all right. Now, hurry." - -Kevan MacGreene ran down the tunnel, swinging the bucket at his side. -If anything, the odor from the bucket spurred him on to greater speed. - -The great bridge Bifrost still stood when he once again braked the jeep -beside Yggdrasil. Thrud sat sadly beneath the tree, but the serpent -looked up in excitement as Kevan jumped from the jeep. - -"You may just have time," he said. "I can hear the hoofbeats of Surtr's -horses, but they still have some distance to come." - -"Thanks," said Kevan. He waved encouragement to Thrud and leaped on -the back of Sleipnir. He dug his heels into the great horse's side and -Sleipnir took off up the bridge with the speed of the wind. - -As the horse leaped madly from the other end of the bridge, Kevan -caught a glimpse of the fighters. He saw Thor battling valiantly -against a serpent so huge that there seemed no end to his coils; saw -Vidar warding off the slashing leap of the giant wolf that earlier had -been fighting with Odin; saw the one-armed Tyr drawing more blood from -the already stained watchdog, Garm. Then Sleipnir was circling around -the fight, traveling at such speed that the figures blurred. Kevan held -to the saddle with one hand and with the other held high the bucket. - - * * * * * - -After a moment, he became aware that the giant horse had slowed down, -that he no longer heard the sounds of battle. He looked around and saw -all the battling gods stiff and unmoving as though suddenly frozen in -action. - -Kevan touched his knee to Sleipnir's neck and the gray horse headed -for the group. Kevan held the bucket in front of him. Slowly, some of -the figures came to life, began to move backward ahead of him. Fenris -the Wolf slavered and snarled and Jormungandr's hissing was like the -sound of a tornado, but they moved steadily before him. Garm growled -threateningly; curses spilled from the lips of the black and white Hel, -but they too gave ground. Only Hel's army of the dead and Loki remained -unmoved in the face of their defeat. - -One by one, Kevan MacGreene put the legion of evil back in their -prisons and sealed the chains and the doors with the contents of the -bucket. The last one was Jormungandr, who slid his giant coils back -into the ocean and waited with flattened head. Kevan poured the last of -the bucket into the ocean, heard Jormungandr twist and splash, saw the -ocean turn a strange and fearsome blue. Then he flung the bucket from -him and, weak-kneed, rode back toward Bifrost. - -As the gray horse came down off the rainbow bridge, Kevan heard a -strange noise and realized that it was the serpent singing "For he's a -jolly good fellow" only slightly off key. He collapsed over the horse -in hysterical laughter. - -As he fell off the horse, Thrud rushed up and kissed him on the cheek. -At the moment, that seemed a greater reward than the fact that he was -alive. - -Kevan and Thrud said goodbye to Nidhoggr, the serpent, who furtively -shook a tear from his eyes and went back to gnawing on the roots of -Yggdrasil as the jeep bounced away. - -For the third time that night, Kevan MacGreene walked up the tunnel -in the hill across from the four kings' palace. This time, Thrud -walked ahead of him. As they reached the chamber, Alviss was nervously -waiting. With a little cry, Thrud rushed ahead, picked the dwarf up -from the ground and hugged him to her breast. - - * * * * * - -It was a long and passionate clinch. While it was going on, Kevan -suddenly realized that his job was finished and that he was tired. It -had been a long night's work. Finally, when he could wait no longer, he -leaned over and tapped the dwarf on the shoulder. - -Alviss tore his lips from Thrud's and looked over his shoulder, -scowling. "Go get your own woman," he said. - -"I was about," Kevan said with dignity, "to announce that I was -leaving. I wondered if perhaps you might know of a shorter way back -than the way I came. I'm rather tired and would like to get home as -soon as I can." - -"Put me down, dear," Alviss told Thrud. She obeyed and the little dwarf -seemed to listen a moment. Then he picked up his pickaxe and strode -over to the wall. With a few swings, he'd opened a fairly large hole. - -"There," he said to Kevan, "that'll let you into a subway passage -that's right beneath Shanachie's office. I must admit that I'm grateful -to you, Kevan MacGreene." - -"Think nothing of it," Kevan said. He started to step through the hole, -then hesitated. "There is one thing I'd like to know," he said. - -"What?" - -"What was in that mixture that stopped Ragnarok and is strong enough to -hold the evil gods of Asgard?" - -"Just what the recipe called for," Alviss said proudly. "All of the -pitch-blende in the world. The egos of a general, a dictator, and a -number of lesser persons. The vanity of some American Congressmen. The -greed of an infinite number of men. One drop of blood from the left -thumb of a communist, a capitalist, a religious fanatic, a censor, -a racist, and from every man in the world who would like to be a -little better than some other man. A drop of marrow, as a substitute -for blood, from all executive vice-presidents. One page each from -a contract, a mortgage, a promissory note, an international cartel -agreement. Three corporation charters. One lobbyist's expense account. -Finger-nail cuttings from every politician in the world. All of these -boiled together in the juice of man's inhumanity to man. Your world is -now minus all of those things, but we achieved a brew which possessed -more evil than Loki and his pack could stand." - -"I can still remember the odor," Kevan said nodding. - -"What it contained that may be of value, if used differently," said -Alviss, "can sometime be regained by a world in which the mortals -cannot misuse them. Although such action will also release Loki, it -will then do no harm. When men are not evil, then their gods dare not -be. Now, be along with you, Kevan MacGreene--I have a spot of courting -to do." - -Kevan stepped through the hole and found himself in a subway station. -He hurried up the stairs and a moment later stepped out on the streets -of New York. - -While he'd been sure that it was almost daylight when he'd left Alviss, -here it was only approaching evening. Although he did not look closely, -being in a hurry to check in, it seemed to him that there was something -different about everything in the city. - -He finally arrived at the corner of Fourth and Twelfth Streets and -stopped, puzzled. There ahead of him was the sign _TROUBLESHOOTERS, -INC._, but it was on a fine modern building that looked as if it were -made from spun glass. He could have sworn that it had been on an old -brownstone building. Deciding that it must have been the hangover, he -hurried inside. - -"Kathleen," he shouted to the dark-haired girl at the desk. - -She looked up with a friendly but distant smile. "I beg your pardon," -she said. - - * * * * * - -Kevan looked at her and frowned. She looked almost exactly like -Kathleen Culanna, even to the emerald green eyes, but she was -different. "You're not Kathleen Culanna," he said. - -The girl shook her head. "No," she said, "I'm afraid that she left some -time ago. You must be one of our men, aren't you?" - -"Yes," said Kevan. "Kevan MacGreene's the name. You can be telling his -nibs I'm back." The more he looked at the girl the more he thought he'd -recover from the disappointment of not seeing Kathleen. "And what's -your name?" - -"Colleen Dannan." - -"A pretty name to go with a pretty lass," Kevan said. "Is his nibs in?" - -"Yes, Mr. Shanachie is in," the girl said. "He asked me to give you -your salary check if you came in this way." She held up a pink oblong -of paper. - -"Salary, then, is it?" said Kevan, reaching for it. "It must be that -he remembered I said that I was broke. You know I never did learn what -this job pays." - -"I believe the pay for agents is ten dollars a week," said Colleen. - -"Ten dollars a week?" said Kevan, feeling the rage grow in him. "Why, -of all the doublecrossing, thieving--" He broke off and gulped. He'd -just looked at the check and saw the figure that was written on it. -_Pay to the order of Kevan MacGreene $468,000.00._ "There must be some -mistake," he said in a weak voice. "This check is for almost a half a -million dollars." - -"No mistake," the dark-haired girl said with a smile. "You were working -in the land of the Little People, weren't you?" - -Kevan nodded. - -"And you were there for a whole night?" - -Kevan nodded again. - -"Then there's no mistake," the girl said. "One night in the land of the -Little People is the same as nine hundred years here. This is the year -2852 and that represents your back pay." - -For a moment, the room spun about Kevan MacGreene's head. He gripped -the desk hard and hung on and after a moment he could see a pair of -emerald green eyes clearly. They looked friendly--and soothing. - -"Colleen Dannan," he said, "would you have dinner with me and explain -all of this again while you're holding my hand to protect me from the -shock?" - -"He's waiting for you," the girl said, indicating the door. "Ask me -when you come back. If I'm still here, I will." - -Kevan MacGreene took two steps toward the door and then came back, -shaking his head. - -"No," he said firmly. "If I've been working nine hundred years then I'm -entitled to a night off. And I lost one girl by walking through that -door. I'm taking no chances on this one. Come with me, Colleen--you're -going to dinner." - -And that is how Colleen Dannan, a descendent of Macha De Dannan -herself, came to have dinner with Kevan MacGreene, but one generation -and nine hundred years removed from the County Ulster. - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GNOME'S GNEISS *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The gnome's gneiss</p> -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Kendell Foster Crossen</p> -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Illustrator: Alex Schomburg</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: September 1, 2022 [eBook #68892]</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</p> -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GNOME'S GNEISS ***</div> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>The Gnome's Gneiss</h1> - -<h2>A NOVELET BY<br /> -KENDELL FOSTER CROSSEN</h2> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Startling Stories, May 1952.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph1">I</p> - - -<p>A mood was upon Kevan MacGreene. As of the moment, he did not consider -this the best of all possible worlds. In fact, many arguments to the -contrary were running through his head—on shoes of iron, it seemed. -Only twenty-five years of age, Kevan MacGreene was foot-loose and fancy -free, but his thoughts were cast in gloom and darkly shaped.</p> - -<p>It was 1952 and the threats of atomic warfare appeared almost daily in -the newspapers. The cost of living continued to go up. The prisons and -asylums were overflowing. Congress, having investigated everything -else, had formed a Goober-Natural Committee (fifteen governors had -misunderstood and resigned the first day it was announced) and were -knee-deep in peanuts. The Soviet representative had just stormed out -of another U.N. meeting. The American representative wanted to lock -the door so he couldn't get back in. A columnist had written that -"the world is going to hell on a street car" and had been forced to -apologize to seven railroad companies and a major-interest-owned bus -line.</p> - -<p>But it was because of none of these things that Kevan MacGreene walked -the streets of lower Manhattan and pondered on the frailty of Man. It -was now only a few days since he had received his draft notice. Far -from objecting, he had welcomed the opportunity to become a hero—even -a radioactive one. He had quit his job in Macy's complaint department -and the night before he'd spent all of his money financing a binge for -himself and a few select friends. It had lasted until morning and then, -complete with hangover, Kevan MacGreene had reported for his physical.</p> - -<p>It was while being questioned by a fatherly doctor, who, it turned out, -was a psychiatrist, that Kevan made his first slip. Usually he was more -alert, but the hangover was demanding attention and he automatically -admitted that he often heard voices. Under the pressure of questioning, -while wondering if his head was really as hollow as it felt, he went -into some detail on the voices and what they said. By the time he -realized what was happening it was too late. He was classified as an -unstable personality and was being ushered through the door reserved -for those who weren't wanted.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Broke, hungry, and considerably vexed at being called an unstable -personality, especially since everything now combined to make him feel -like one, Kevan MacGreene walked through the streets of Greenwich -Village. It was in this mood that he arrived on the corner where -Fourth Street unaccountably crosses Twelfth Street. Standing there for -a minute, he happened to glance up and see the sign over one of the -buildings:</p> - -<p class="ph1">TROUBLESHOOTERS, INC.</p> - -<p>Below that, in smaller letters, it said:</p> - -<p class="ph1"><i>Come in.</i></p> - -<p>Kevan MacGreene went in.</p> - -<p>The girl at the desk was lovely beyond words. Her hair was like black -velvet and her eyes were an emerald green. Just looking at her made -Kevan MacGreene feel better.</p> - -<p>"I have some troubles I'd like shot," he said, saying the first thing -that came into his aching head.</p> - -<p>The girl smiled with a distant friendliness. "Do you mean you'd like to -employ us?" she asked.</p> - -<p>"No," said Kevan MacGreene, realizing what it was that he did want. -"I'd like you to employ me."</p> - -<p>"I'm sorry," the girl said, "but I'm afraid there are no positions -open—none, at least, that you could fill."</p> - -<p>"But I need a job," Kevan said. "I—I gave up my last job because I -thought I was going to be drafted. Now I have no job and I'm broke. And -the draft board rejected me because I hear voices."</p> - -<p>For the first time, the black-haired girl looked interested. "What kind -of voices?" she asked.</p> - -<p>"Thin little piping voices," Kevan said. He didn't know why but he -felt that she would understand. "Most of the time I can't understand -what they're saying. Sometimes they sing. Like this." Wincing from the -pain in his head, Kevan sang in the highest pitch he could reach. "<i>Gie -brownie coat, gie brownie sark, ye'll get nae mair o' brownie's wark.</i>" -He stopped and looked at the girl. Her smile was warmer.</p> - -<p>"What's your name?" she asked.</p> - -<p>"Kevan MacGreene."</p> - -<p>She nodded. "I'll see," she said. She picked up the phone and pressed -a button. He could hear the faint buzz in the inner office. "There's a -young man here," she said into the phone, "looking for a job. He says -his name is Kevan MacGreene and that he hears voices." She listened a -minute and then put the phone down.</p> - -<p>"He'll see you," she said. "Go in." She indicated the door beyond her -desk.</p> - -<p>Kevan stopped beside the desk and glanced down at the hair that was -like a raven's wing. "What's your name?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Kathleen Culanna."</p> - -<p>"Ah," he said, "I knew there was a reason for the green in your eyes -and the harp's song in your voice. Will you have dinner with me -tonight?"</p> - -<p>"Go along with you," the girl said, but there was no rebuke in her -voice. "He's waiting for you."</p> - -<p>"Will you have dinner with me tonight?"</p> - -<p>"Ask me when you come back," the girl said. "If I'm still here, I will."</p> - -<p>"I'll be back," he said. He walked through the door and closed it -behind him. He stopped there, gazing at the man who sat at the desk in -the small room.</p> - -<p>He was a short man, with a face Kevan thought of as jolly even though -it seemed pinched with worry. Tufts of golden blond hair ringed a bald -head, resembling a halo. He looked up from his cluttered desk and -studied Kevan.</p> - -<p>"MacGreene, is it?" he said finally. "Where were you born?"</p> - -<p>"In New York," Kevan answered, wondering at the question.</p> - -<p>"And your father?"</p> - -<p>"Fergus MacGreene. He was born in the old country, Ulster, I think, -but he became a citizen as soon as he could after arriving here." He -wondered if this was some sort of loyalty check.</p> - -<p>"You hear voices, do you?" the little man asked.</p> - -<p>"I do," Kevan said shortly, thinking that it had been a mistake to -mention it. "As did my mother, and her mother before her. But it's -never interfered with a job I've held."</p> - -<p>"Of course not." The worried expression was fading from his face. -"You're hired. My name is Brian Shanachie."</p> - -<p>"But—but I don't understand," Kevan said. He was feeling confused and -he wasn't sure whether it was the hangover or the company. "Don't you -want to know my qualifications?"</p> - -<p>"You've already told me," said Brian Shanachie. "Your name's MacGreene -and you hear voices. What more could I ask—even though it's true I'm -in a bit of a pinch? Here I was, with every one of my men out on a job -and me with an emergency on my hands, when, Finbheara be praised, in -you walked. You'll be quite ready to go to work at once?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Kevan MacGreene was more confused than ever, but a generous streak of -stubbornness came to his aid. "You may be satisfied," he said, dropping -into the chair in front of the desk, "but I want to know something -about the job before I take it. What does Troubleshooters, Inc., do?"</p> - -<p>"You don't know?" the little man asked in surprise.</p> - -<p>Kevan shook his head, an act which painfully reminded him of his -headache.</p> - -<p>"Oh, well," sighed Brian Shanachie, "but it'll have to be brief. There -is an emergency. Tell me, Kevan MacGreene, you know of the Little -People?"</p> - -<p>It was Kevan's turn to be surprised. "Gnomes?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Gnomes, dwarfs, brownies, leprechauns, fairies, druids, apuku, the -Wanagemeswak, it matters little what you call them. You know of them?"</p> - -<p>"My mother used to tell me about them," Kevan said, "but she was a -woman without education. I've been through college and while they are -interesting legends—"</p> - -<p>"Agh!" interrupted Brian Shanachie. "There's the trouble with the -world. Too much education in the wrong things. If it weren't for people -like you, Kevan MacGreene, who've given up the old ways, I wouldn't -have to be working here, slaving away all hours—"</p> - -<p>It was obvious that he was working himself into a rage, so Kevan -interrupted. "Okay, so there <i>are</i> Little People," he said. He thought -he might as well humor his prospective employer. He glanced at him more -closely. "Don't tell me you're one? You're too big."</p> - -<p>"Too big for a gnome, too small for a mortal," said Brian Shanachie, -his humor restored, "No, I'm neither. My father was the son of -Finbheara himself, but my mother was a mortal. So I am well suited for -this job."</p> - -<p>"Which is what?"</p> - -<p>"I'm telling you," said Brian Shanachie, with a scowl. "In the -days when people had enough sense to believe in the Little People, -diplomatic relations were handled on an individual basis. The -individual who aroused the anger of a gnome would himself put out an -offering of milk, with perhaps a wee drop of brandy in it, or offer him -a new cloak and hood. But with the coming of such fine education that -the Little People were forgotten there was a problem. It was then that -my little organization was started. More properly it should be known -as the Bureau of Mortal-Gnomic Adjustments, but there are too many -non-believers who would only plague me with their silly questions, so I -called it Troubleshooters, Inc."</p> - -<p>"But what do you do?" Kevan asked. He had a strange feeling that the -more it was explained the less he understood.</p> - -<p>"Adjust matters between mortals and gnomes, of course," snapped the -other. He picked up some papers on his desk. "Now, take the case I'm -assigning you to, the emergency—I'm putting it in the files as The -Case of the Gnome's Gneiss...."</p> - -<p>"I beg your pardon?"</p> - -<p>"Gneiss," said Brian Shanachie with some irritation. "G-N-E-I-S-S. -Everybody certainly knows what gneisses are."</p> - -<p>"I don't."</p> - -<p>"College education," the little man sneered. "Gneisses are rocks -made of thin layers of minerals. Now, a gnome, or a dwarf, if you -prefer—he's been called both—named Alviss is one of the finest -gneiss-makers in the world. Recently, he had just finished what he -considered his masterpiece, a gneiss composed of some fifteen different -minerals, and all of fifty feet long, when directly over the spot where -it was located an atom bomb test was held. You can imagine the results. -The gneiss was cracked beyond repair. Alviss, with certain provocation -you must admit, is angry. In fact, he grows angrier every minute and I -understand that he is on the verge of declaring open war against all -mortals."</p> - -<p>"So what?" asked Kevan. "What could he do?"</p> - -<p>"What could he do?" echoed Brian Shanachie in horror. "Why, there is no -end to what he could do. Sour milk, make cows go dry, put changelings -in the place of mortal infants, make the hens lay square eggs. Water -might run uphill, hens would crow and roosters cackle, and the sun set -in the east. And that, mind you, would be only the work of Alviss. If -the others of the Little People helped him, and fully half of them -would have to, then you can imagine the chaos.</p> - -<p>"No, it's obvious Alviss must be appeased and since the ones who -dropped the bomb will not do so, it is up to us to avert the war."</p> - -<p>"Why not just explain to—er—Alviss that it was all a mistake?" Kevan -suggested.</p> - -<p>"'Twouldn't do. Alviss is a sensitive one, as you will see, and it'll -take more than that to make him forget his grudge."</p> - -<p>"As I will see?"</p> - -<p>"Certainly," said Brian Shanachie, nodding his head. "It is you who -will go to see Alviss."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It wasn't that Kevan MacGreene was willing to so quickly forego his -skepticism and embrace a belief in the Little People, but his head hurt -too much to argue and he was in a mood to take what came along and let -things work themselves out.</p> - -<p>"But what do I do after I see him?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Find out what will keep him peaceful and, if it's within reason, give -it to him. If it isn't, then you may have to appeal to the Council -of Gnomes, or even to the four kings. I'll be giving you this—" -Brian Shanachie came around the desk and fixed what seemed to be a -small metal flower in the lapel of Kevan's coat—"by which you can -discuss any settlement with me. All you have to do is shout my name -and the contact will be made. It is also possible for me to deliver -to you, by teleportation, certain mortal materials when they will aid -in adjustments. I remember one time when peace was made with Sindri, -over the matter of a mortal who tried to steal his treasure, with -the presentation of a radio.... But now get along with you, Kevan -MacGreene."</p> - -<p>"Just a minute," said Kevan, "how much does this job pay?"</p> - -<p>"Enough in mortal money that you'll have no complaint," Brian Shanachie -snapped. "Be gone with you."</p> - -<p>"Where?" Kevan asked. "I mean how do I get there?"</p> - -<p>Brian Shanachie looked surprised, then nodded. "Of course, you wouldn't -know, would you? I best look it up, to be sure that we still have it -right." He took a thick book from his desk, thumbing through it rapidly -while muttering to himself. Then he nodded again. "Yes, 'tis still in -the proper alignment. And all you have to do, my boy, is walk through -yon door."</p> - -<p>For the first time, Kevan noticed another door in the office near to -the chair in which he sat. He stood up and looked at it uncertainly.</p> - -<p>"But be sure and watch the first step," said Brian Shanachie. "It's -been a bit broken since the time Regin came to see me and stomped on -the step instead of knocking."</p> - -<p>"But how do I find Alviss after I get through the door?" Kevan wanted -to know.</p> - -<p>"Ask," said Brian Shanachie. "You can ask anyone—no, but better, -perhaps since you're a new employee you'd best first go and pay your -respects to Finbheara, Iubdan, Geanncanac, and Daoine Glas, the four -kings. They'll be sure to know where you can find Alviss. Run along -with you."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph1">II</p> - - -<p>Taking a deep breath, Kevan MacGreene put his hand on the door knob and -opened it. Then he stepped through.</p> - -<p>He felt his foot strike the edge of something solid and then he was -falling. He tried to twist and grab, but there was nothing to grab. -Down he went—falling, it seemed, slowly and interminably—until -finally he landed with a thump. Looking around, he realized he was -sitting on the ground of a forest. There was an eerie look to the trees -around him, their limbs twisting skyward, their leaves looking like -green woven silk.</p> - -<p>Sitting there on the ground, Kevan MacGreene became aware of the most -startling thing. His hangover was gone as if it had never existed. -That, more than anything, made him decide to believe that he was in the -land of the Little People. He'd had many a hangover, but never had one -vanished so quickly and painlessly.</p> - -<p>"It's a pity you wouldn't watch where you're falling," a voice said -peevishly.</p> - -<p>Kevan looked around, but saw nothing except the trees. "Where are you?" -he asked cautiously.</p> - -<p>"Right here," answered the voice. And it did sound as though it was -right beside him.</p> - -<p>"I can't see you," he said.</p> - -<p>"Of course, you can't," snapped the voice. "That's because I'm looking -at you. Oh, all right, I'll turn, although I don't know why I should."</p> - -<p>Then in front of Kevan's eyes there suddenly appeared a little man, no -more than two feet high. His face, in profile, was sharp and pointed.</p> - -<p>"How did you do that?" Kevan asked with interest.</p> - -<p>"Do what?"</p> - -<p>"You were invisible. Then suddenly you were visible."</p> - -<p>"I wasn't anything of the kind," the little man said. "I was merely -looking at you. When I'm looking at you, you can't see me. When you can -see me, I can't see you—but I don't start making nasty cracks about -you being invisible."</p> - -<p>"Why?"</p> - -<p>"Because I'm good-natured," grumbled the gnome.</p> - -<p>"No, I mean why can't I see you if you're looking at me?"</p> - -<p>"Because I'm one of the Wanagemeswak of Penobscot," the gnome announced -with pride. "I'm so thin that mortals can only see me when I'm in -profile. So when I turn to look at you, you can't see me. Like this." -The gnome's head slowly turned to face Kevan—and then it vanished. -"Now do you understand?" asked the voice.</p> - -<p>Kevan MacGreene blinked his eyes rapidly and then switched his gaze to -one of the more solid-looking trees.</p> - -<p>"No," he said, "but don't try to explain it to me again. I'm afraid I'd -only understand less than I do now. But, if you will, you can tell me -how to find the four kings."</p> - -<p>"Oh, sure," said the voice. "Just go straight down this path and turn -left at the third snail. You can't miss it after that."</p> - -<p>"Thanks," said Kevan, waving one hand toward the spot where he thought -the gnome was. He set out in the direction indicated, keeping a sharp -watch-out for snails.</p> - -<p>As Kevan MacGreene walked through the forest, he became aware of -the sounds about him. From every side flooded the songs of birds. -Somewhere ahead of him two squirrels barked indignantly at each -other. He caught sight of huge antlers as a deer crashed through the -underbrush to his right. But having lived all of his life in New York -City, Kevan was not attuned to these new sounds.</p> - -<p>"Noisy place," he said to himself. "It's interesting to visit a place -like this, but I'd certainly hate to live here."</p> - -<p>After what seemed like a long walk, he sighted his third snail and -turned left. For a moment he considered speaking to the snail, -remembering that in all the stories he'd heard speech was standard -equipment for all forms of life in fairyland, but he refrained because -of the petulant look on the snail's face.</p> - -<p>The new path seemed well-worn and he strode along at a fast pace. It -wasn't long before he saw an impressive castle ahead. Long before he -reached it, he could hear the sound of loud and quarrelsome voices -coming from it. He wondered if this was the beginning of the riot he -was to quell and hesitated. But only for a minute.</p> - -<p>"I'll be damned," he muttered under his breath, "if any two-foot -fugitive from a Walt Disney movie is going to scare me." He set his jaw -grimly and marched on.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>When he entered the castle, Kevan MacGreene found himself in what was -obviously the throne room. There were four elegant thrones, all empty. -From in front of the thrones came the loud voices, even more shrill -now that he was nearer. His eyes became accustomed to the dim light -and Kevan saw four little old men. They were alike as four peas in a -pod. None of them was more than two feet in height, although each wore -a peaked hat which gave the illusion of adding eight or ten inches. -Each of them had a long white beard, almost reaching the floor. At the -moment, four faces were screwed up in rage, while four fists shook -themselves in the air.</p> - -<p>"Isn't it a grand brawl?" asked a voice near Kevan. He turned and saw -another gnome, his eyes fixed admiringly on the four old men.</p> - -<p>"What's wrong with them?" Kevan asked.</p> - -<p>"There's nothing wrong with them," the other said. "'Tis but a bit of -an argument. They're just working themselves up to the interesting -stage."</p> - -<p>"What are they arguing about?"</p> - -<p>"Sure and it's the same old argument—which of them has the longest -beard. It's been going on ever since Finbheara endorsed Macushla's -Magic Beard Groom, claiming that he had the longest beard in all -Midgard. Iubdan brought suit in the Court of the Leprechauns to prove -Finbheara a liar, but then Geanncanac and Daoine Glas called both of -them liars and so it started."</p> - -<p>"Do you think it'll last long?" Kevan asked anxiously.</p> - -<p>"Until there's not a hair left on the chin of a one of them," the gnome -said with anticipation. "Then they'll retire for a few hours until -their beards grow back—and they'll be at it again. Isn't it heavenly?"</p> - -<p>"I was hoping to ask them where to find someone," Kevan said.</p> - -<p>The gnome turned and looked up at Kevan, who in turn noted that since -he could still see the little man he must not be of the Wanagemeswak.</p> - -<p>"You're a mortal," said the gnome in tones of accusation.</p> - -<p>"Yes," confessed Kevan.</p> - -<p>"Then, by the same reasoning," continued the gnome, "it must be that -you were sent here by Brian Shanachie and that it's Alviss you're -looking for. Now, that will be a donnybrook for fair when you find him. -I've a notion to go with you."</p> - -<p>"It'll really amount to very little," Kevan said hastily. "I'm sure -you'll find this much more interesting. But you could tell me how to -find Alviss."</p> - -<p>The gnome seemed to be debating with himself, but renewed shrieks of -rage from the other side of the throne room drew his gaze back there. -He jerked a thumb in the direction from which Kevan had come. "Across -the way and into the hill," he said.</p> - -<p>Kevan MacGreene stepped back outdoors and saw a small brass door set in -the hill. He walked across and entered. As the door swung shut behind -him, he found himself in a tunnel running straight back through the -hill. It was dimly lighted, but Kevan managed to make his way along -it—with some difficulty, however, since he had to walk stooped over to -keep from bumping his head.</p> - -<p>After walking for some time, around numerous twists and bends, Kevan -heard the murmur of a voice somewhere ahead. As he proceeded, it became -louder. Finally, he rounded a turn in the tunnel and saw a small, -stocky dwarf busily stirring a huge cauldron with one hand while with -the other he kept throwing various ingredients into the steaming pot. -It was he who muttered and Kevan could now make out the words.</p> - -<p>"A pinch of chlorite, a bit of mica, some biotite, spoon of felspar; -a little graphite, and now amphibole, dust with kyanite, and top with -idocrase—"</p> - -<p>"What's idocrase?" Kevan asked.</p> - -<p>"<i>Don't do that!</i>" screamed the little man. He whirled around, molten -rock dripping from the spoon in his hand, to glare at Kevan, his bushy -red beard bristling with anger.</p> - -<p>"I merely asked what idocrase is," Kevan said mildly.</p> - -<p>"You didn't have to sneak up on me like that. And any fool knows that -idocrase is a hydrous silicate of calcium and aluminum and that you -can't bake a decent gneiss without it." His eyes suddenly narrowed as -he took in Kevan's size. "You're a mortal," he said.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Kevan nodded. The little man reached behind him, grabbed a pickaxe and -came up swinging. Kevan MacGreene leaped to one side only in time.</p> - -<p>"Wait a minute," he yelled. "I claim diplomatic immunity."</p> - -<p>The dwarf stopped short and glared. "Diplomatic immunity?" he said. -"What's that?"</p> - -<p>"It means you're not allowed to attack me," said Kevan. "Brian -Shanachie sent me here on a diplomatic errand."</p> - -<p>It was plain that the dwarf saw no reason for restraining his anger, -but he was sufficiently uncertain to hold back. "Brian Shanachie should -mind his own business," he growled.</p> - -<p>"Now, I'm looking for Alviss...."</p> - -<p>"I'm Alviss."</p> - -<p>"Good," Kevan said. He had no idea of how to go about adjusting the -matter which he'd been sent to fix, but he had determined on a firm -course. "Now, what seems to be the matter, Alviss?" he asked briskly.</p> - -<p>"Matter?" repeated Alviss, his voice going up a few octaves. For a -moment, it looked as if he might succumb to his rage, but he controlled -it. "I made the finest gneiss that has ever been formed in the entire -history of Midgard. No sooner had it hardened than you mortals came -along and cracked it right down the center."</p> - -<p>"But it was an accident," Kevan said. "An atom bomb was being tested -and it was by accident that they happened to set it off over your work. -You see, these atom bomb tests are a part of our national defense -program—"</p> - -<p>"So it's defending yourselves you are," Alviss said grimly. "Then you -can just defend yourselves against me."</p> - -<p>"I'm sure," Kevan said, "that the Combined Command would have been more -careful but—well, I'm afraid that the truth of the matter is that the -Army doesn't officially believe in gnomes."</p> - -<p>"They don't, eh?" said Alviss with a nasty grin. "Then they'll have -nobody to blame but themselves when their fine bombs bounce back in -their laps and when the barrels of their guns turn to rubber and drop -the bullets at their feet."</p> - -<p>"You mustn't do that," Kevan said hastily. "The psychiatrists would -only pin a label on it which would destroy the morale of our Army. To -say nothing to what it would do to the WAC and the WAVE. There must be -some other solution."</p> - -<p>"No," said Alviss firmly. "My honor is at stake."</p> - -<p>"But there must be another way of saving your honor. You look like a -reasonable—er—person, Mr. Alviss. I'm sure that between the two of -us, we can find a way...."</p> - -<p>"Well," said Alviss and there was a shrewd look in his eyes, "perhaps, -if you were to bring me Thrud...."</p> - -<p>"Thread?" exclaimed Kevan, relief coming with the misunderstanding. -"What kind?"</p> - -<p>"Not thread," said Alviss. "Thrud. Do you mean, mortal, that you do not -know the story of Alviss?"</p> - -<p>Kevan shook his head.</p> - -<p>"What's your name, mortal?"</p> - -<p>"Kevan MacGreene."</p> - -<p>"'Tis a good name," said the dwarf.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Alviss sat down on the floor and for the first time his face lost its -look of anger. "It was long ago," he said. "More years than you mortals -can reckon. But I was an adventurous lad and one night I crossed the -bridge Bifrost from Midgard to Asgard. Asgard, you understand, is the -land of the old gods, but I was safe there as long as it was dark. -While I was there, I met Thrud, only daughter of Thor, god of the -yeomen and peasants, dispenser of thunder. Aye, she was beautiful—more -beautiful than you'd know, Kevan MacGreene—and I knew she was the lass -for Alviss. It seemed that she felt the same way about me, despite the -fact that she was three times my height. Hand in hand, we went to see -Thor—faith and there's one for whom I would set bear traps every night -if he were my father-in-law."</p> - -<p>"I gather that he turned you down?" Kevan said.</p> - -<p>"Worse," said Alviss. Rage and sorrow intermingled on his face. "By -the beard of Daoine Glas, he tricked me. He said that Thrud could marry -me and come away if I would answer thirteen questions. Bad cess to him, -I agreed. His twelve questions were to give the names for the world, -the moon, the sun, the clouds, the wind, the calm, the sea, the trees, -the night, fire, wheat and beer in all the worlds of the Aesir, Vanir, -giants, elves and gods."</p> - -<p>"What are they?" Kevan asked curiously.</p> - -<p>"There is no time to tell you, as you will see. But I was then fresh -from visiting the worlds he'd mentioned and I knew the names well. -We sat there in Thor's palace, Belskirnir, before a great roaring -fire—Thor holding his great head in his hands as he listened, Thrud -sitting beside me and holding my hand—and I recited the names. It was -a long task and I didn't notice that it was daylight as I finished. I -spoke the last name and then demanded Thrud's hand. Thor only grinned -and pointed. I turned to look in the direction he was pointing and the -last thing I saw in Asgard was the sun streaming through the window. As -it touched me, I turned to stone."</p> - -<p>Two tears streaked down the dwarf's face and were lost in his red beard.</p> - -<p>"Why did you turn to stone?" Kevan asked.</p> - -<p>"It was the law of the land—and still is," said Alviss. "If the sun -shines on any of the Little People while in Asgard, they turn to stone. -Thor had tricked me. I would be there still if Hreidmar and Sindri -hadn't come to rescue me. As soon as they carried me back to Midgard, -the spell was gone and I was myself again. But Thrud was lost to me -forever."</p> - -<p>"Why didn't you go back some night and get her?" asked Kevan. Being a -practical man, he added, "Or why didn't she run away and join you?"</p> - -<p>"You're excessively stupid, even for a mortal," snapped the dwarf. -"Once the spell had been upon me, I would turn to stone should I ever -again set foot in Asgard. And it has been decreed that there are only -three ways in which Thrud may ever leave Asgard. Hand in hand with her -true love, carried over Bifrost by a mortal, or when she goes to Gimli -after Ragnarok."</p> - -<p>"Well," said Kevan MacGreene finally, "it's a very touching and -romantic story and I assure you that you have my deepest sympathy—but -I'm afraid I fail to see how it concerns our present problem."</p> - -<p>"Do you now?" asked Alviss. He gazed up from beneath his bushy red -eyebrows. "All you have to do, my lad, is go to Asgard and bring Thrud -here to me. If you do that, I'll not make war against the mortals. Fail -and I'll strike immediately."</p> - -<p>"Oh, come now," said Kevan. "You can't seriously expect me to go in and -kidnap the girl out from under the nose of her father and I don't know -how many other characters. It's not fair."</p> - -<p>"Its fair enough and you'll get no more from me," said Alviss. "Be off -with you—for if you're not back here by the end of the month, I'll -start my war."</p> - -<p>"The end of the month? Mortal time or your own?"</p> - -<p>"Mine, of course."</p> - -<p>"How much time does that give me?" asked Kevan.</p> - -<p>The dwarf scratched his head, lost in deep thought. Then he began -chanting to himself:</p> - -<p>"Junius, Aprilis, Septemq, Novemq, tricenos</p> - -<p>"Unum plus reliqui, Februs tenet octo vicenos</p> - -<p>"At si bissextus fuerit superadditur unus—" He rolled his eyes toward -the roof and seemed to be counting. "That'll give you until tomorrow -morning," he finally announced.</p> - -<p>"But that's impossible," exclaimed Kevan.</p> - -<p>"Not impossible if you stretch your legs instead of standing here -stretching your tongue," said Alviss. "Your only problem with time is -getting from here to Yggdrasil and then from there to here. The time -you spend in Asgard will not count since time there does not exist in -relation to our time."</p> - -<p>"Yggdrasil?" repeated Kevan. "Where is that?"</p> - -<p>"That's part of your problem," said the dwarf. He turned back and began -stirring his cauldron and it was obvious that he intended to talk no -more. Kevan MacGreene turned and went back through the long, winding -tunnel.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph1">III</p> - - -<p>When he was once more outside, across from the palace of the -four kings, he suddenly remembered something that the head of -Troubleshooters, Inc. had told him. He looked and saw that the small -metal flower was still in his lapel. He put his mouth close to it and -shouted.</p> - -<p>"Brian Shanachie!"</p> - -<p>"Well," said a voice which seemed to come out of the air directly over -his head, "I was wondering if I were ever going to hear from you."</p> - -<p>"What do you mean?" Kevan demanded indignantly. "I haven't been here -more than an hour."</p> - -<p>"Time, my dear boy, is relative," the voice said airily. "How did you -make out with Alviss?"</p> - -<p>Kevan quickly related all that had happened. "What shall I do?" he -asked when he'd finished. "Obviously I can't go to—wherever it is—and -just steal the girl."</p> - -<p>There was a heavy sigh out of the air above his head. "It is a rather -difficult task," admitted the voice, "for one of your inexperience. -Unfortunately, there are no other agents unengaged at the moment, so I -guess there's nothing to do but go get the girl."</p> - -<p>"I won't," Kevan MacGreene said grimly. "I've had enough of this. I -quit."</p> - -<p>"My dear boy," the voice said, "you can't quit. If you're not employed -by me, there is no way back here, and without the badge of my office -you might find it rather difficult to get along where you are."</p> - -<p>Kevan was silent in the grip of frustration.</p> - -<p>"Besides," the voice continued sternly, "don't forget that you're a -MacGreene. Once removed from the County Ulster 'tis true, but still a -MacGreene. Quitting is not for the likes of you."</p> - -<p>It was, moreover, the only argument to sway Kevan MacGreene. "Okay," he -said wearily, "where do I find this Yggdrasil?"</p> - -<p>"Just go due Southeast by Northwest and you can't miss it." The voice -sounded pleased with itself.</p> - -<p>"And what is Yggdrasil?" Kevan asked.</p> - -<p>"The world tree—and that's why you can't miss it. You'll see it miles -before you reach it. How much time did Alviss give you?"</p> - -<p>"Until tomorrow morning."</p> - -<p>There was a thin whistle in the air. "That isn't much time. I guess -you'll be needing some assistance. Don't move for the next minute, my -lad."</p> - -<p>There seemed to be a crackling in the air around Kevan's head and -then beside him stood a new jeep. It was painted a pleasant emerald -green—which reminded Kevan of Kathleen Culanna's eyes—and lettered on -the side were the words <i>TROUBLESHOOTERS, INC.—OUR SPELLS, CURSES AND -KNELLS ARE GUARANTEED</i>.</p> - -<p>"What's the slogan for?" Kevan asked.</p> - -<p>"Oh," said the voice of Brian Shanachie, "that jeep was built to be -used only in the land of the Little People and it doesn't hurt to -advertise, you know. After all, we do work for both sides in making -our adjustments. It helps to build confidence if they know that we -guarantee to handle any matter up here which threatens them. But -it's getting late. Perhaps you'd better run along. Oh, yes, there is -one more thing. That is a new jeep and I didn't have time to install -a spell-bumper. Some of the more provincial gnomes are not yet -accustomed to our jeeps and may try to throw a spell at you. So if you -notice one apparently weaving something in the air, I'd suggest that -you dodge as quickly as possible. Good-by—and don't hesitate to call -on me if you need anything."</p> - -<p>There was dismissal in the voice, so Kevan MacGreene stepped gingerly -into the jeep. It turned out, however, to be quite solid, so he sat -down with growing confidence. The first thing that caught his eye was -the compass just over the steering wheel. If anyone had told Kevan that -a compass could manage to point Southeast by Northwest, he wouldn't -have believed him—but this one did.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He stepped on the starter and the motor of the jeep caught with a -full-throated roar which was the most comforting thing that had -happened to Kevan since he'd left Brian Shanachie's office. He put it -in gear and let out the clutch. The jeep leaped forward eagerly.</p> - -<p>He was just driving past the palace, from which could still be heard a -subdued roar, when he discovered a small gnome standing in the shadow -of the building. The gnome was glaring at the green jeep and his -hands were making strange passes in front of him. Kevan gazed at him -curiously and then suddenly remembered what Brian Shanachie had said. -He twisted the wheel and sent the jeep bouncing over a small hill.</p> - -<p>Glancing back, he was glad he had remembered, for he was just in time -to see a tree turn into some sort of giant pink worm and go wriggling -off at a mad pace. The tree was just beyond where the jeep would have -been if he'd continued straight. Kevan had no doubt that if he'd failed -to turn, he would have been riding just such a pink monstrosity.</p> - -<p>He soon got the jeep straightened out again in the direction of the -compass needle and pressed the accelerator to the floor. The little car -went bouncing over rocks and hills, undaunted by all that was in its -path, and Kevan MacGreene grinned happily. This was the sort of magic -which gave him a sense of reality.</p> - -<p>After what seemed like a couple hours of riding, Kevan found he was -approaching the giant tree which he assumed must be Yggdrasil. He'd -sighted it more than an hour back and for the past half hour had been -driving in the shade of the tree. Now, just beyond it, he could see the -huge flat rainbow arching up into the sky.</p> - -<p>He arrived near the trunk of the tree and stopped the jeep, while -he looked around for the bridge. There was nothing that resembled -one—except the rainbow. He noticed that its incline was gradual enough -to be ascended and finally decided that it must be the bridge for which -he was looking. He was about to put the jeep into gear, when a new -voice spoke to him.</p> - -<p>"Really, old chap," it said, in the broadest of English accents, "I -wouldn't, y'know. Bifrost is composed of fire, air and water. I should -imagine the fire element might harm your tyres, to say nothing of -exploding your petrol."</p> - -<p>Kevan looked around but saw only a huge serpent coiled around the -tree, apparently gnawing on its roots, and a sneaky looking squirrel -which was just then scurrying up the trunk of the tree. He had about -concluded that he was again dealing with a gnome who was too thin to be -seen when he noticed that the serpent's eyes were fixed on him and that -there seemed to be a friendly gleam in them.</p> - -<p>"Were you addressing me?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Yes," said the serpent. "I'm aware that it was forward of me, -y'know—we haven't been introduced and all that—but, dash it all, one -just can't let a chap rush into danger."</p> - -<p>Kevan found himself grinning at the accent. "Who are you?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Nidhoggr, the serpent of Yggdrasil," the snake said.</p> - -<p>"I'm Kevan MacGreene. How do you do."</p> - -<p>"Charmed, I'm sure," said the serpent, with what was obviously meant -for a friendly smile. The effect was modified unpleasantly by the -appearance of his fangs.</p> - -<p>"If you're a part of this set-up," Kevan said, with a wave which -included the tree and the rainbow bridge, "I should guess that you must -be Teutonic in origin, yet you seem to have a rather marked English -accent."</p> - -<p>"Do you like it?" the serpent said eagerly. "I think it sounds -rather cultured myself. I picked it up from an English sparrow who -occasionally visits me. He's taught me some rather jolly songs -too—especially one, I believe it's called 'The Base-born King of -England.' Would you care to hear it?"</p> - -<p>"Some other time, perhaps," Kevan said, smothering a desire to laugh. -"Although I believe you have the title slightly wrong. Now, what were -you saying about not crossing the bridge in my jeep?"</p> - -<p>"I don't believe it's safe," the serpent said. "I understand that fire -and petrol do not mix well. You can walk across, y'know—it makes a -splendid little outing. I believe the water and air keep the fire -cool enough not to burn and I understand, in fact, that it's rather -invigorating."</p> - -<p>"Well, I suppose there's nothing to do but walk," Kevan said. He shut -off the motor and climbed out of the jeep.</p> - -<p>"You're quite sure it's safe?"</p> - -<p>"Positive, old chap. It's safe for everyone except Thor. He's been -forbidden to step on it because of his heavy tread—he's a peasant, -y'know. It's not as if he were a gentleman." The serpent glanced up -toward the trunk of the tree, where a squirrel could be seen now -scurrying downward. "There comes Ratatosk again," he said, lowering his -voice. "He spends all his time between Vedfolnir, on the upper branch, -and myself trying to stir up trouble. An officious little blighter. -You'd best hurry along or he's bound to think there's something -subversive in our little chat."</p> - -<p>"Okay," Kevan said with a grin. "Thanks for the advice." He waved to -the serpent and started up the rainbow bridge. To his surprise, the -mere touch of the bridge was invigorating. Through the soles of his -shoes he could feel a combination of heat and coolness and it seemed -that strength flowed up into him. He strode briskly along.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>When he was well up over the curve of the bridge, he stopped a moment -and looked back. By stretching his neck, he could make out the top -of the tree and he caught a glimpse of a golden rooster perched on -the very tip. It looked like a tiny spot of gold in the midst of the -evergreen leaves.</p> - -<p>In only a few more minutes, he was nearing the other end of the rainbow -bridge. In the far distance, he could see the turrets of a number of -huge castles.</p> - -<p>The rest of the way was mostly down hill and he completed it at a fast -pace. He stepped off the bridge and stopped to look around, wondering -about his next move, when he was startled by a loud roar of pain. It -seemed to come not far from his right, so he turned in that direction. -After a moment's walk, he came around a small hill and found himself in -front of a large cave.</p> - -<p>A young man stood in the entrance of the cave. He was clad in golden -chain mail, but wore no helmet so that his bright yellow hair fell to -his shoulders. He was handsome beyond the highest standards set by -mortal movies, yet his beauty was all masculine. There, Kevan found -himself thinking, stands one who looks every inch a god.</p> - -<p>He'd been staring at the blond man for several minutes before he -realized what was represented in the full picture. The young man was -standing in the mouth of the cave because he was chained here. Huge -golden chains ran from his arms and legs, and from a collar around his -neck, to the walls of the cave. The chains were tight so that he had -little room to move about. Directly above the cave a large serpent was -lying. Its open mouth was just above the entrance to the cave and its -venom was steadily dripping from the gleaming fangs toward the man -below. But standing alongside of the cave was a beautiful blonde—and, -Kevan noted with some embarrassment, scantily-clad—young woman. She -held a silver cup in her hand in which she caught the dripping venom -just before it reached the young man.</p> - -<p>"By Gimli," the young man was saying as Kevan arrived, "you took long -to empty that last draught, Signe. I thought a sea of venom had struck -me. Now—" He broke off as he caught sight of Kevan. His bright blue -eyes moved swiftly as he looked Kevan over.</p> - -<p>"What manner of a one have we here?" he said. "Although it's been -immortal long since I've seen a mortal, I could swear this is one. And -in Asgard." He raised his voice. "Are you a mortal, strange one?"</p> - -<p>"Yes," Kevan said, trying to be polite enough not to show that he found -anything strange in the scene before him. "My name is Kevan MacGreene."</p> - -<p>"Welcome to Asgard, Kevan MacGreene," the blond young man said. He -grinned merrily and rattled the chains that held him. "It may seem -strange to you to be welcomed by one so carefully chained, but after -all I am a son of Odin and I presume I can still shout a welcome. I am -Loki and this is my wife, Signe. As you can see, she's busy."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/> - <div class="caption"> - <p>"Welcome to Asgard, Kevan MacGreene," the blond young man said, grinning merrily and rattling the chains.</p> - </div> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>The young woman glanced quickly around to acknowledge the introduction -with a smile, then turned her attention back to the cup she held.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph1">IV</p> - - -<p>Now Kevan MacGreene was not especially accustomed to travel—before -this day his travels had been limited to a few trips to Coney Island, -once or twice to Canarsie, and once to Staten Island when he'd made -the mistake of asking a girl for a date before finding out where she -lived. As a result, he was none too sure how to act in the present -circumstances. In the travels already mentioned, he'd never come across -a god imprisoned in golden chains—he wasn't even sure he'd ever read -of such a thing before. Yet it was rather foolish to act as if nothing -were unusual. At the same time, the god might be sensitive to strange -remarks about his condition.</p> - -<p>It needed a diplomacy which Kevan MacGreene wasn't sure he possessed. -Should he (he wondered) offer his help or would such an offer coming -from a mere mortal be considered an impudence.</p> - -<p>"I'll wager," said Loki with a laugh, "that the mortal caught sight -of your ruby lips, Signe, and is wondering if you'd reward him for -rescuing your husband." He laughed louder as Kevan MacGreene blushed. -"She would at that, Kevan MacGreene," he said, "but I fear you'll go -unrewarded. I was put here by my father and brothers and no mortal can -undo their work. But it shall be undone in time, never fear. As it -is, I don't find it too bad except for the moments when Signe goes to -empty the cup. Although it is a bit confining." He laughed again in -appreciation of his own wit, rattling the chains to the accompaniment -of his laughter.</p> - -<p>"You're a brother of Thor?" Kevan asked.</p> - -<p>"Aye, that I am. If you're looking for Thor, I can tell you one thing. -He'll bore you to tears trying to show you how strong and smart he is. -I'd rather be in chains than with Thor."</p> - -<p>"Well," said Kevan, "the truth of the matter is that I don't want to -see Thor, but I'm afraid I have to."</p> - -<p>"Ah," said Loki, "is it a matter of asking Thor for some sort of -intercession on behalf of the yeomen or peasants? I wasn't aware that -we were still worshipped among people. It seems to me I remember Hermod -returning from one of his trips with the news that other gods now had -the concession among you mortals. But then I suppose that new gods are -a bit like wine—all fizz and not very much kick."</p> - -<p>Kevan had been embarrassed by the turn of the conversation but saw no -way of stopping it once it had started. When the god finished speaking, -he cleared his throat nervously and tried to straighten things out.</p> - -<p>"I'm sorry, Mr. Loki," he said, "but I'm afraid that you aren't -worshipped by mortals—at least, by none that I know. In fact, most -people know nothing about you." He thought he saw a look of sorrow -cross the face of the chained god. "I must confess I'm not very -familiar with the facts about you myself, but I do know there are a -number of written records about all of you. I believe some of them are -quite complete, although of course they usually add that you were only -superstitious myths."</p> - -<p>"Oh, well," Loki said, laughing softly, "I don't care what you call me -so long as you spell my name right."</p> - -<p>Kevan was pleased that the god was taking it so well.</p> - -<p>"But," Loki continued, "if it's not a matter of arranging a sacrifice, -what does bring you here? I cannot remember when a mortal last visited -Asgard."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Kevan quickly debated the matter in his mind and decided there could be -no harm in telling this god the reason for his visit. It even occurred -to him that since Thor had helped to chain him in the cave, Loki -might be anxious for revenge and would be willing to furnish him with -valuable clues.</p> - -<p>"Do you remember a dwarf named Alviss?" he asked. "He once visited -here, although I believe it was quite some time ago."</p> - -<p>"Alviss," mused the god, staring into space, although still managing to -keep one eye on his wife to be sure she didn't shift the cup. "Wasn't -that the one who became infatuated with Thrud?"</p> - -<p>"That's the one," said Kevan.</p> - -<p>"I remember him now," said Loki. "He's the one that Thor tricked into -staying around until morning and he turned to stone." Loki laughed -until the cave rang with the merry sound. "Thor was always a tricky -one. Oh, a fine fellow when it came to drinking or wenching, but -tricky. I well remember the time he and I met two little redheads at -a convention of—<i>OUCH!</i>" The last was a bellow of pain as his wife -moved the cup just enough to permit a drop of venom to fall on him. He -strained against the chains until the pain subsided. Then he grinned -ruefully at Kevan. "Sorry," he said. "It must have been two other -fellows."</p> - -<p>"Well," said Kevan, rushing to fill what he thought was an embarrassing -gap, "Alviss is still in love with Thrud."</p> - -<p>"Even as a stone," exclaimed Loki. "Oh, I remember now—he was stolen -from Thor's palace a few nights later. I suppose his friends unstoned -him, as it were."</p> - -<p>Kevan nodded. "Exactly," he said. "Now, there's a small matter with -Alviss which needs adjusting and his price is that I bring Thrud to -him."</p> - -<p>"Hmmmm," said Loki. He re-examined Kevan, with something like -admiration in his gaze. "I could better understand it if you were -after Thrud yourself—she is a winsome wench. But to do it for this -Alviss—well, you've sliced yourself a bit of a job."</p> - -<p>"I'm well aware of it," Kevan said modestly. "Naturally, I'd appreciate -any advice...."</p> - -<p>"Naturally," Loki said, not unkindly. He looked at Kevan again. "I -admit I wouldn't mind seeing you put one over on Thor. Maybe...."</p> - -<p>"Loki," the god's wife said sharply, speaking for the first time, "you -promised to keep out of politics."</p> - -<p>"But this isn't politics, honey," Loki said. "It's romance. In a way, -it's legitimately part of my business. If love is a fire kindled in the -heart, then surely the god of fire can concern himself with it. Tell -me, Kevan MacGreene, is there anything in your mortal world which Thor -might consider flattering to himself?"</p> - -<p>Kevan thought for a minute and then suddenly remembered something. "I -believe so," he said. "One of the days of our week is called Thursday. -I believe that it was originally named after Thor."</p> - -<p>"Just the thing. When you leave here—wait, do you come from a -particular province in the mortal world?"</p> - -<p>"Not exactly a province. I'm from New York City in America. It's the -largest and greatest city in the world, located, I might add, in the -greatest country in the world."</p> - -<p>"Of course," Loki said amiably. "Now, when you leave here you will stop -at the first station you come to and send Thor a ravengram. You'll tell -him that you're the American ambassador and—"</p> - -<p>"But I couldn't say that," protested Kevan. "It's not true."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Loki encouraged him. "You're an American, aren't you?"</p> - -<p>"Yes."</p> - -<p>"And didn't you tell me that this Alviss had sent you here as his -ambassador to get Thrud?"</p> - -<p>"Y-yes."</p> - -<p>"Well, then, you're an American ambassador," Loki said with finality. -"Tell Thor that you want to see him about presiding at a dedication -ceremony for this day. It's been so long since a mortal asked Thor -to preside at anything he's bound to fall for it. That will get you -invited to Belskirnir."</p> - -<p>"I guess I could do that," Kevan said doubtfully. "But getting out will -be harder than getting in, won't it?"</p> - -<p>"Nothing to it," said Loki with confidence. "Do you know any good -riddles?"</p> - -<p>"Riddles?" repeated the amazed Kevan. "You mean things like—like 'What -flies forever and rests never?'"</p> - -<p>"The wind," Loki said promptly. "That's the general idea, although -you'll need to get newer ones than that. The really old ones Thor will -know. Can you manage some more modern ones?"</p> - -<p>"I'll try," Kevan said. He remembered that his mother had often read -riddles to him as a child and he thought he could recall some of them.</p> - -<p>"About three good riddles should be about right. When you get to -Belskirnir, the first thing you'd better do is tip off Thrud why you're -there. Then you challenge Thor to guess your three riddles. If he -fails—and he will if you use good ones for nobody ever accused Thor of -being bright—then he lets you take Thrud away."</p> - -<p>"That sounds all right, except for one thing. What if Thor doesn't -accept the challenge?"</p> - -<p>"I'm coming to that," Loki said thoughtfully. "At the same time you -send the message to Thor, you send one to my father."</p> - -<p>"Your father?" Kevan asked, wishing he could remember more of the old -legends. He resolved to brush up on them if he kept this job.</p> - -<p>"Odin," Loki explained. "He's Thor's father too and he's still the -head of the family. The old man is a stickler for convention, so you -merely send him a message asking to call on him first before visiting -Thor. Better not mention that you've already met me. The old man will -be pleased that a mortal recognizes that he's still the head of the -house. While you're talking to him, casually mention that you're going -to challenge Thor to three new riddles. Be sure to stress the <i>new</i>."</p> - -<p>Kevan nodded. He could see little sense in any of this, but was willing -to grant that this was possibly because he was a stranger in the land.</p> - -<p>"My father," continued Loki, "is a real pig for knowledge. He'll try to -pump you for the answers to the riddles. If you refuse then he'll show -up at Belskirnir and he'll make Thor accept the challenge, just so he -can hear the answers."</p> - -<p>"You're sure?" Kevan asked.</p> - -<p>"Positive. The old man will go through anything just to learn something -new. He once gave up one of his eyes just for one drink from Mimir's -well of knowledge. Another time, he hung in a trance from Yggdrasil, -with his head in Niflheim, for nine days in order to learn to write -runes. You can't miss if you do as I tell you."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Some of Loki's confidence surged through Kevan. "This is mighty nice of -you, Mr. Loki," he said. "Isn't there something I can do to repay you?"</p> - -<p>"I guess not," Loki said sadly, "There is only one way in which these -chains can be broken and I doubt if you could manage it by yourself. -It's really not too bad—although I do get rather bored at times -just standing here and seeing the same things all the time. It was a -pleasure to talk with you."</p> - -<p>"Wait a minute," Kevan cried. "I think I have an idea. I'll be right -back." He ran around the side of the hill. As soon as he was out of -sight and hearing, he stopped. He put his mouth close to his lapel and -called: "Brian Shanachie."</p> - -<p>"Midgard to Asgard, over," said the voice from above his head. The tone -and the words seemed to indicate that Brian Shanachie was in good humor.</p> - -<p>"I believe," Kevan said carefully, "that there may be a good chance -of my being able to get Thrud for Alviss. I've just met my first -inhabitant of Asgard and he's been very helpful. In fact, I'd like to -repay him in some way, which is why I called."</p> - -<p>"A friend at court, eh?" said the voice. "Who did you meet?"</p> - -<p>"He said his name is Loki."</p> - -<p>"Loki?" said the voice. "Isn't he in durance vile, or some such thing?"</p> - -<p>"He's chained in a cave, if that's what you mean," Kevan said. "I can't -imagine why they would treat him like that. He seems very nice."</p> - -<p>"What did he tell you about himself?"</p> - -<p>"Nothing. I did gather from some reference he made to his wife that -he's the god of fire."</p> - -<p>"That's right," said the voice. "Also god of mischief and evil. You -understand, my boy, we make a practice of not interfering with an -agent in the field, but if I were you I'd go rather easy on making -gifts to Loki. No files baked in a cake, or that sort of thing. If Loki -ever breaks loose from his chains, it means the end of the world."</p> - -<p>"I find it very difficult to believe that Loki is evil in any way," -Kevan said with dignity. "However, I was merely thinking of providing -him with some entertainment. He told me that he gets bored just -standing there, always with the same view."</p> - -<p>"Well—do whatever you think best. What sort of a gift did you have in -mind? Dancing girls?"</p> - -<p>"No," Kevan said indignantly. "I don't think his wife would approve and -I doubt if we could morally justify such a gift. But didn't you mention -that you had once made a gift of a radio to one of the gnomes?"</p> - -<p>"That's right."</p> - -<p>"I was wondering how such things would work here," Kevan said. "After -all, they are electrically powered and I doubt if they have many modern -conveniences here."</p> - -<p>"No problem at all," the voice said cheerfully. "Electrical objects -become so charged during teleportation that they run for a long time. -Did you want to give Loki a radio?"</p> - -<p>"No, I was thinking of a television set. Perhaps one with a twenty-four -inch screen. Now, after your information, I'm even more sure that this -will make a superb gift for him. If you are correct in saying that he's -the god of the evil, some good wholesome entertainment may be good for -him. Television, you know, is an excellent way of keeping the children -off the streets and—"</p> - -<p>"Spare me the commercials," snapped the voice. "You want it right -there?"</p> - -<p>"No, wait until I get back to the cave. You might also include a remote -control tuning device. I imagine he might find it difficult to handle -the controls otherwise."</p> - -<p>Kevan hurried back to the cave, whereupon Loki stopped trying to guess -how full the cup was that Signe held and watched him with interest. -Kevan stood at a spot where he judged that Loki could get the best view -and once more spoke into the flower in his lapel.</p> - -<p>"Okay, send it along," he said.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Once more the air seemed to crackle around him and there was a solid -thump as the television set came to rest only a few inches from Kevan's -foot.</p> - -<p>"In the name of Garm, what is that?" demanded Loki.</p> - -<p>"A television set," Kevan said. "I think you will find that it will do -much to relieve your boredom." He bent over and turned on the switch -and was pleasantly surprised to see the screen light up. He fiddled -around with the controls until he got a station tuned. It was a news -broadcast, which normally would have interested him, but he was more -curious to see Loki's reaction. The god was staring at the screen -with bulging eyes. Satisfied, Kevan turned the volume down so that he -wouldn't have to compete with the announcer's voice.</p> - -<p>"That," he said, "happens to be what we call a news broadcast. That -is, the man is telling what is actually happening in the world of the -mortals. But you will find other things that are more amusing. In fact, -there are a few comedians you might find highly entertaining—I imagine -that you are of a sufficiently ancient period to find their jokes new."</p> - -<p>Kevan went on to explain to the god how the remote control device could -be used to change stations and to raise or lower the volume. A look of -speculation crept into Loki's face as the explanation was being given.</p> - -<p>"This is really very nice of you," he said when Kevan had finished. "I -wonder if I might impose on you for another favor?"</p> - -<p>"Of course," Kevan said promptly.</p> - -<p>"I have three children," Loki said, "two boys and a girl. Would it be -possible to get such a machine for each of them? I'm sure they would -enjoy it."</p> - -<p>Kevan nodded. "Television is wonderful for children," he said. "I -understand they have some very delightful children's programs on, too. -Do you think table models might do for them?"</p> - -<p>"Anything," Loki said.</p> - -<p>"And where would you like them delivered?" Kevan asked. "I could go to -wherever they live, so the sets would be delivered there."</p> - -<p>"No, I wouldn't think of putting you out. Right here will be fine. I'm -sure we can arrange for them to be picked up."</p> - -<p>Kevan nodded again and bent his head to speak into the metal flower. -"Three more television sets," he ordered. "Table models, if you don't -mind."</p> - -<p>He thought he heard a grumbling grunt from the air above his head, but -a moment later three small television sets were dumped on the ground -beside the larger one.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph1">V</p> - - -<p>After accepting Loki's profuse thanks, Kevan MacGreene went on his -way, feeling virtuous for having performed such a good deed. It did -occur to him that he should have recommended a few good programs for -Loki, perhaps one or two of a spiritual nature, but he decided against -turning back to correct it. There was a possibility that a god might -resent being instructed by a mere mortal.</p> - -<p>Kevan walked rapidly along the broad path he discovered and it -wasn't long before he arrived at what Loki had called the first -station—although in reality it was little more than a thatched hut. -Kevan entered and soon composed the two messages which he wanted to -send to Thor and Odin. He handed them over to the old man who ran the -station and almost immediately two ravens darted from the hut. Kevan -retired to a corner to await their return, but much to his surprise he -had barely seated himself when the ravens were back.</p> - -<p>Impressed by the service, Kevan toyed with the idea of learning -more about the method, thinking that it might be knowledge he could -take back and sell for a reasonable price to the various telegraph -companies. But he dismissed this as probably being unfair to Brian -Shanachie.</p> - -<p>While the answers were brief and to the point, it seemed that both -Odin and Thor would be happy to see the mortal ambassador. After -some dickering with the old man who ran the ravengraph agency, which -involved handing over his wristwatch, Kevan received a horse and -instructions on how to reach Odin's local castle. As he rode off, the -old man was holding the watch to his ear and nodding in time to the -rhythmic ticking.</p> - -<p>It was a pleasant ride over the rolling hills of Asgard, and Kevan soon -arrived at the huge, sprawling castle. The guards evidently expected -him, for he was immediately shown into the throne room of the chief of -the gods.</p> - -<p>Odin, bald-headed and gray-bearded, slouched on his throne and regarded -his visitor with interest. It was a mutual attitude, with Kevan finally -deciding that Odin must be something of a local character. There were -two ravens seated on his shoulders and they seemed to be constantly -whispering in his ears. On either side of the throne a gigantic wolf -was crouched. Except for his costume, Odin reminded Kevan of an aging -Hollywood producer ready to have his picture taken for the press. But, -of course, he permitted none of this disrespect to show in his manner.</p> - -<p>Kevan delivered a carefully-rehearsed speech, in which he praised -Odin's great knowledge, then fell silent.</p> - -<p>Odin nodded, as though agreeing with all the points made. "And what are -your plans now, mortal?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"I thought of visiting Thor," Kevan said.</p> - -<p>"My son?" the old god asked, blinking in astonishment. "Why should you -visit him? You seem interested in knowledge. I'm afraid you'll find -my son rather dull company. Or were you planning to ask for a thunder -license?"</p> - -<p>"I want to challenge him to answer three riddles," Kevan said. "If he -fails to answer them, then I will claim his daughter, Thrud."</p> - -<p>"Thrud, eh?" Odin said. A crafty look came into his eyes. "If it's only -a matter of a woman, why not stay here and expound your riddles. I'll -let you have one of the Valkyries. It'll be a much better bargain. They -are all quite skilled in the arts of love and Thor is rather strict -with Thrud so she may be a little too innocent for a man of the world -such as yourself."</p> - -<p>"No, it must be Thrud," Kevan said, deciding there was no use in -defending the purity of his own intentions.</p> - -<p>"Jaded appetites, eh?" the old god said, shrugging his shoulders. "What -riddles are you going to try on my son? Perhaps I can advise you."</p> - -<p>"I'm sorry, sir," Kevan said, "but I'd rather not say. You know the old -saying, 'the walls have ears'?"</p> - -<p>"Of course they do," Odin said a trifle impatiently. "They're battle -trophies. I removed every single one of them myself."</p> - -<p>At first, Kevan thought the god might be a little mad, but then he -realized that the walls of the throne room were indeed covered with -ears. And not very attractive ears at that. "No, no," he said, averting -his eyes, "I meant that someone might overhear the riddles and tip off -Thor."</p> - -<p>"And he wouldn't be above using the information," Odin agreed. "Well, -I'll tell you what—I'll ride you over to Thor's."</p> - -<p>"I wouldn't want to trouble you," Kevan began, but was stopped by a -wave of Odin's hand.</p> - -<p>"No trouble. After all, we seldom have visitors here. I wouldn't want -it said that Odin lets visitors just wander off by themselves—maybe -even be eaten up by a stray dragon. Besides, I wouldn't mind seeing -that son of mine taken down a notch or two." He looked pleased at the -prospect.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The mention of dragons was enough to keep Kevan from protesting -further. Within a few minutes, he was again mounted on his horse while -Odin rode beside him. As they galloped through the gate, they were -joined by a dozen of the Valkyries. These beautiful young women, their -charms not sufficiently concealed by the armor they wore, immediately -began casting covetous glances at Kevan. He was careful to ride close -beside Odin.</p> - -<p>Their arrival at Thor's castle, Belskirnir, was filled with confusion -for Kevan. The palace was swarming with various lusty gods, their -wives, mistresses and children. He was introduced to so many that he -could remember the names of none. He did, however, catch the name of -Thrud when he was introduced to a shapely blonde girl, with a sullen -face. He managed to whisper to her, telling her who he was and the -purpose of his errand, whereupon the sullenness fell from her face. The -result was so startling that Kevan found it difficult to remember that -he was there on behalf of Alviss.</p> - -<p>It seemed that they were just in time for a banquet and Kevan found -himself forced to go through what seemed like a hundred course meal, -consisting mostly of half-cooked venison, and so many cups of mead that -his head was swimming.</p> - -<p>Kevan had tried several times to get Thor's attention to bring up the -matter of his challenge, but found it almost impossible to make himself -heard above the roar of voices in the banquet hall. But the matter was -finally settled for him by Odin, whose curiosity could no longer stand -the strain.</p> - -<p>"Quiet," shouted the chief of the gods, leaping to his feet. He struck -the table a mighty blow with his hand, causing the mead cups to jump -and spill. "Silence!" He waited until the shouting and talking died -down. "The mortal who is our guest would like to challenge my son, -Thor, on three riddles."</p> - -<p>Thor looked up from the head of the table, but there was no evidence of -pleasure in his face. He was dressed in a peasant costume and Kevan had -secretly decided that the costume was an affectation.</p> - -<p>"I'm not interested in riddles," Thor grunted. "I know enough of them -anyway."</p> - -<p>"Well, I am," retorted Odin. "So you'll accept the challenge or I'll -take the thunder concession away from you and give it to Sif."</p> - -<p>There was a burst of laughter from around the table and Thor frowned. -He didn't really care about the thunder concession, but if it were -taken from him and given to his wife, the symbolism would be one he'd -never live down. "All right," he growled. "Where is this mortal?"</p> - -<p>"Here," Kevan said, standing up. He had expected to be nervous but the -mead had bolstered his courage. "But there's more to the challenge. If -you fail to answer two of the three riddles then I get to take Thrud -away with me."</p> - -<p>"You mean you want to marry her?" Thor asked, scowling.</p> - -<p>"No," Kevan said. The sudden silence that followed made his ears burn, -but he was afraid to explain more fully. If Thor knew that there was -a chance that Alviss might finally triumph over him, there was a -possibility he would brook his father's anger. So Kevan ignored the -knowing glances and kept quiet.</p> - -<p>"That's the trouble with you mortals," grumbled Thor. He cast a quick -glance at his father and decided not to risk arguing about it. "All -right, I agree," he said reluctantly. "What do you pay, if I answer the -riddles?"</p> - -<p>Kevan was taken aback. "I—I hadn't thought about that," he admitted.</p> - -<p>"Well, think about it," Thor snapped. "I have it. If I answer your -riddles, you'll stay here as my personal goatherd."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Kevan had gone too far to back down, so he nodded. He thought, a little -ruefully, that the next job of Troubleshooters, Inc. might be to rescue -a former agent turned goatherd. It also occurred to him that perhaps -Brian Shanachie didn't bother rescuing agents, but he pushed the -thought away.</p> - -<p>"Okay," he said, "here is my first riddle." He'd finally decided on a -first riddle which he suspected was too old, but it was the weakest -of his three and he wanted to get it over with. He cleared his throat -and began: "What we caught, we left behind; what we brought, we cannot -find."</p> - -<p>Thor's expression of worry vanished and he burst out laughing. "I -learned that one so long ago," he roared, "that when I first knew it, -it went: Hos' helomen lipometha, Hos' ouk helomen pherometha. The -answer is a flea."</p> - -<p>Kevan MacGreene nodded, feeling the first pangs of fear. It suddenly -dawned on him that he had little business pitting wits with a god—even -a discarded one—and he could only hope that his next two riddles -were new enough. In terms of mortal life they too were old; it was so -difficult to tell what was new for a god.</p> - -<p>"Here is my second riddle," he said nervously. "I have an apple I can't -cut, a blanket I can't fold, and so much money I can't count it." If -Thor guessed this one, he was finished.</p> - -<p>There was a long silence. Kevan sneaked a glance at Odin and the older -god's puzzled expression gave him more confidence than Thor's frown.</p> - -<p>The silence stretched into minutes.</p> - -<p>"Enough of this," shouted Odin. "Give up, you idiot, so he can tell us -the answer."</p> - -<p>"All right," Thor said sullenly. "I give up."</p> - -<p>Elation flooded over Kevan. "The apple is the sun," he said, "the -blanket is the sky, and the money is the stars." He grinned happily -at the expression of rage on Thor's face. "Here's my third and last -riddle," he said. "A long white barn, two roofs on it, and no door at -all, at all." He almost held his breath as he waited.</p> - -<p>Thor looked around the table as though he thought someone there might -know the answer and signal him. But the other faces were as blank as -his own.</p> - -<p>"By Gimli," shouted Odin, "I think he's got you, son. And a good thing, -too. It's high time that daughter of yours was getting out and learning -a thing or two. Go on—confess you're licked."</p> - -<p>His face red with anger, Thor nodded.</p> - -<p>"It's an egg," Kevan said triumphantly.</p> - -<p>The other gods around the table leaped to their feet and slapped Kevan -on the back in token of victory. He had just started to take a drink of -mead, however, and the result was that he choked.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Before Kevan could stop choking, the door to the banquet hall broke -down. A horse and rider came through the door, the horse rearing and -plunging, scattering gods before it. An armored god was astride the -horse, swinging a short-handled axe in his right hand.</p> - -<p>In a minute all of the gods were on their feet, shouting. It was Odin -who quieted them with a bellow that shook the rafters. "Well, Hermod?" -he asked as the others quieted.</p> - -<p>"It's Ragnarok," the newcomer shouted. "Loki is on his way, with -Jormungandr, Fenris, Hel, Garm, and the Hel-brood. To battle!"</p> - -<p>The gods shouted in response and before Kevan had a chance to ask a -single question, the banquet hall was emptied. Only Kevan MacGreene -still sat at the table, staring at the door through which they had all -rushed.</p> - -<p>"Better not to get mixed up in any strange fights," Kevan said to -himself, remembering something his father had always told him. He got -up from the table and left the room.</p> - -<p>Some fifteen rooms later, he found Thrud and told her of his success. -She nodded, smiling.</p> - -<p>"I am ready," she said. "I was sure that anyone Alviss sent would -succeed. Where is my father?"</p> - -<p>"They all rushed out to battle," Kevan said. "I didn't catch the -details, but I expect it's just some local argument. Maybe we'd better -hurry before your father returns and changes his mind."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph1">VI</p> - - -<p>With Thrud leading the way, they went down to the courtyard. There was -a single gray horse standing there patiently. At first, Kevan thought -that it was the horse on which he had arrived, but he changed his mind -when he noticed that this one had eight legs. He counted them three -times to make sure but each time it came out eight.</p> - -<p>"It's a good omen," Thrud cried. "This is Sleipnir, Odin's favorite -horse."</p> - -<p>Kevan was in no mood to haggle over the ownership of a horse, so he -helped Thrud mount and then leaped on in front of her. He was no -sooner in the saddle than the gray horse sped through the gates. When -the eight legs really got to working, Kevan realized that they were -traveling faster than he'd ever gone in his life.</p> - -<p>"I must remember," he thought to himself, "to look for eight-legged -horses the next time I go to the riding academy."</p> - -<p>Back over the trail toward Bifrost sped the gray horse. Once far off to -the left Kevan caught sight of a warrior who looked like Odin battling -with a giant wolf.</p> - -<p>They were almost to the rainbow bridge when their way was barred by -another horseman, with drawn sword. The gray horse reared, six legs -threshing the air, which kept Kevan busy for a few minutes just staying -on. When that was finally accomplished, he recognized the horseman as -Loki.</p> - -<p>Recognition came to Loki at the same moment and he lowered the sword. -"Hello, Kevan MacGreene," he said with an odd smile. "I owe you too -much to bar your way. Go on—as far as you can."</p> - -<p>"Well, Mr. Loki," Kevan said. "I thought you'd be home—er—watching -television. What happened?"</p> - -<p>"Thanks to you, I'm free," Loki said. "It was decreed that there was -only one way that I could get free—when the greed and lust and vice -and warfare of men became great enough that it would give me the -strength to break my chains. But it is long since we've had contact -with mortals. Then, due to what you call television, I was able to see -the men of your world. There were men whose greed robbed other men. -There were men whose lust destroyed all before them. There were men -whose vices corrupted the innocent and enslaved the free. And there was -warfare on such a scale as never imagined by gods. As I watched, my -strength grew."</p> - -<p>"You watched the wrong people," Kevan said. "There are many good -people—although I suppose you don't hear much of them. Still, I'm glad -you were able to get free."</p> - -<p>Loki's gaze switched to Kevan's companion. "Thrud," he said, "I'm -sorry, but Ragnarok cannot be held back by a mere romance.... Goodbye, -Kevan MacGreene." He spurred his horse and was gone.</p> - -<p>The gray, eight-legged horse was half way over the rainbow bridge -before Kevan realized that the girl behind him was no longer the happy -person who had started with him. He twisted in the saddle and looked at -her. The tears were streaming down her face.</p> - -<p>"What's wrong?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"It's Ragnarok," the girl said between sobs.</p> - -<p>"But why are you crying?" Kevan asked, bewildered. "Your Uncle Loki -seemed happy that it was Ragnarok."</p> - -<p>"He would be," the girl said bitterly. "Don't you understand, Kevan, -Ragnarok is the end of the world."</p> - -<p>"Oh, pshaw," scoffed Kevan. "People are always predicting the end of -the world whenever there's a little argument."</p> - -<p>"But I'm not people," Thrud said. "I'm the daughter of Thor, the -granddaughter of Odin, and I tell you that Ragnarok means the complete -destruction of the universe. Only Lif and Lifthrasir will be left to -start a new world. But I will have to go to Gimli with my father and -the others, while Alviss will have to go to the Nida Mountains with the -rest of the dwarfs and I'll never see him again."</p> - -<p>"And where will I go—no, don't answer that," Kevan added quickly. "My -goodness, this is a mess. You're sure this is the end of the world?"</p> - -<p>"Positive," Thrud said. "And you caused it by giving Loki whatever it -was that you gave him. Without that, he would not have learned of the -evil of mortals and he'd still be chained.... I'm sorry, Kevan," she -added in a softer voice, "I know that you didn't realize what you were -doing."</p> - -<p>"I'd heard a lot of criticism of television," muttered Kevan, "but I -never thought it was that bad. The destruction of the universe...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The eight-legged horse galloped off the rainbow bridge and came to a -halt near the trunk of Yggdrasil, sniffing with disdain at the parked -jeep.</p> - -<p>"Well," said Kevan with sudden energy, "we'll have to do something -about this. Don't you worry, my dear, Alviss and I will think of -something." He raised his voice. "Oh, you—whatever your name is!"</p> - -<p>"Were you addressing me?" the serpent asked, raising its head from the -roots on which it gnawed. "Oh, it's you, old boy. I was just thinking -of that song I wanted to sing to you—"</p> - -<p>"Not now," Kevan said hastily. "There's a lady present. Besides I want -you to do me a favor. Something called Ragnarok has started and I'm in -rather a hurry to stop it. I wonder if Miss Thrud might stay here with -you until I get back."</p> - -<p>"Of course," said the serpent. "Glad to have her. As a matter of fact, -I have a song which might amuse her. I believe it's called Britannia -Waives the Rules. It's a jolly song—"</p> - -<p>"Never mind," said Kevan. "Just see that nothing happens to her. I'll -be right back." He leaped from the back of the horse and climbed -quickly into the jeep.</p> - -<p>"If you're thinking of stopping Ragnarok," called the serpent, "you -had better hurry, old chap. Surtr and his men will be coming along any -minute to join the battle and I'm very much afraid that Bifrost will -collapse beneath their weight."</p> - -<p>"I'll hurry," promised Kevan. He waved to Thrud and started the jeep. -Within seconds, he had it traveling at top speed.</p> - -<p>Alviss was still stirring his cauldron when Kevan MacGreene came -bursting back through the tunnel. "Oh, it's you," he said. "Where's -Thrud? Don't tell me you didn't get her!"</p> - -<p>"I did and I didn't," panted Kevan. He quickly explained what had -happened, neglecting only to make it clear that the television set -had been entirely his own idea. The dwarf's face paled throughout the -recital.</p> - -<p>"I don't know if Ragnarok can be stopped," he muttered when Kevan had -finished. "But maybe we can find out. I've long had a suspicion...." -He walked over to one of the tunnels leading from where they stood. -"Fialer," he bellowed at the top of his voice. "Galar!"</p> - -<p>There was a distant answering shout and Alviss came back to where Kevan -stood. "If anybody will know," he said, "it will be Fialer and Galar. -They're the two who killed Kvaser, the god who knew all answers. You -may remember hearing of the mead which they made of Kvaser's blood and -honey, one draught of which would create a great poet."</p> - -<p>"I'm afraid I never heard of it," confessed Kevan, at a total loss.</p> - -<p>"Never mind," said Alviss. He stopped as two white-bearded dwarfs came -running into the chamber. He reached out and grabbed each of them by -the beard before the startled dwarfs had any idea of what was happening.</p> - -<p>"Remember when the two of you killed Kvaser?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Hey, that's old stuff," one of the dwarfs said. "It's not fair -dragging it up now."</p> - -<p>"Besides," said the other, "the statute of limitations has run out."</p> - -<p>"I don't care about that," growled Alviss. "I've always had a hunch -that before you made the mead, one or both of you drank his blood -straight and gained his power of all knowledge. I want to know if -that's true and I'm going to find out or I'll knock your heads together -until there's an earthquake up above."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>For a minute the two dwarfs met Alviss' gaze, but one of them finally -weakened. "It was him," he said, jerking a thumb in the direction of -his companion.</p> - -<p>"Is that true, Fialer?" Alviss asked.</p> - -<p>"Yes," the dwarf gulped. "But—"</p> - -<p>"I don't care about the reason," snapped Alviss. "Ragnarok has started -and I want to know if there's any way it can be stopped?"</p> - -<p>"Yes," said the dwarf.</p> - -<p>"How?"</p> - -<p>"A special brew of the same forces which permitted Loki and his -children to escape will imprison them again," said Fialer. "I can write -out the prescription for you in a few minutes."</p> - -<p>"All right," said Alviss. "Get busy and write it out. Galar, you -get going. I want every available gnome, dwarf, fairy, leprechaun, -brownie—in short, everyone here as quickly as they can make it. As for -you," he added, whirling on Kevan, "you get over in the corner and stay -out of the way until I'm ready for you."</p> - -<p>Kevan MacGreene got over in the farthest corner and huddled against -the wall. He had no idea of how much time passed, but the tunnel was -suddenly choked with the comings and goings of Little People. He -noticed that some carried pickaxes, some were armed with huge needles, -and others carried bags. While some were still going out on the orders -of Alviss, others were returning and mysterious objects were being -dropped in a new cauldron. Alviss was already stirring and chanting -before the last of the workers returned. It was only a little later -that Alviss looked up and beckoned to Kevan. The latter hurried over, -conscious of a horrible stench coming from the cauldron. As he arrived, -Alviss was pouring the contents into a tiny bucket.</p> - -<p>"A magic bucket," he explained, seeing Kevan's stare. "Now, listen -carefully. You must take this bucket and go back into Asgard. First, -get into position where the wind will blow from you toward all of the -gods. That will stop the fighting. Then if you advance with the bucket -you will be able to drive the Hel-brood, Loki, Garm, Jormungandr, -Fenris and Hel before you. When each is back in the place where they -were originally imprisoned, pour the contents of this bucket over -Loki's chains, the silken cord that bound Fenris, the water in which -Jormungandr coils, and the door to Niflheim. Then you can bring Thrud -safely here."</p> - -<p>"What's in it?" Kevan asked.</p> - -<p>"There's no time to tell you now," Alviss said. "But I guarantee you -that this will stop Ragnarok if you get there before the fighting -has stopped. If you do as I say, it will also keep Loki and his pack -chained up. There will be only one way they can ever get loose in the -future—and that will be all right. Now, hurry."</p> - -<p>Kevan MacGreene ran down the tunnel, swinging the bucket at his side. -If anything, the odor from the bucket spurred him on to greater speed.</p> - -<p>The great bridge Bifrost still stood when he once again braked the jeep -beside Yggdrasil. Thrud sat sadly beneath the tree, but the serpent -looked up in excitement as Kevan jumped from the jeep.</p> - -<p>"You may just have time," he said. "I can hear the hoofbeats of Surtr's -horses, but they still have some distance to come."</p> - -<p>"Thanks," said Kevan. He waved encouragement to Thrud and leaped on -the back of Sleipnir. He dug his heels into the great horse's side and -Sleipnir took off up the bridge with the speed of the wind.</p> - -<p>As the horse leaped madly from the other end of the bridge, Kevan -caught a glimpse of the fighters. He saw Thor battling valiantly -against a serpent so huge that there seemed no end to his coils; saw -Vidar warding off the slashing leap of the giant wolf that earlier had -been fighting with Odin; saw the one-armed Tyr drawing more blood from -the already stained watchdog, Garm. Then Sleipnir was circling around -the fight, traveling at such speed that the figures blurred. Kevan held -to the saddle with one hand and with the other held high the bucket.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>After a moment, he became aware that the giant horse had slowed down, -that he no longer heard the sounds of battle. He looked around and saw -all the battling gods stiff and unmoving as though suddenly frozen in -action.</p> - -<p>Kevan touched his knee to Sleipnir's neck and the gray horse headed -for the group. Kevan held the bucket in front of him. Slowly, some of -the figures came to life, began to move backward ahead of him. Fenris -the Wolf slavered and snarled and Jormungandr's hissing was like the -sound of a tornado, but they moved steadily before him. Garm growled -threateningly; curses spilled from the lips of the black and white Hel, -but they too gave ground. Only Hel's army of the dead and Loki remained -unmoved in the face of their defeat.</p> - -<p>One by one, Kevan MacGreene put the legion of evil back in their -prisons and sealed the chains and the doors with the contents of the -bucket. The last one was Jormungandr, who slid his giant coils back -into the ocean and waited with flattened head. Kevan poured the last of -the bucket into the ocean, heard Jormungandr twist and splash, saw the -ocean turn a strange and fearsome blue. Then he flung the bucket from -him and, weak-kneed, rode back toward Bifrost.</p> - -<p>As the gray horse came down off the rainbow bridge, Kevan heard a -strange noise and realized that it was the serpent singing "For he's a -jolly good fellow" only slightly off key. He collapsed over the horse -in hysterical laughter.</p> - -<p>As he fell off the horse, Thrud rushed up and kissed him on the cheek. -At the moment, that seemed a greater reward than the fact that he was -alive.</p> - -<p>Kevan and Thrud said goodbye to Nidhoggr, the serpent, who furtively -shook a tear from his eyes and went back to gnawing on the roots of -Yggdrasil as the jeep bounced away.</p> - -<p>For the third time that night, Kevan MacGreene walked up the tunnel -in the hill across from the four kings' palace. This time, Thrud -walked ahead of him. As they reached the chamber, Alviss was nervously -waiting. With a little cry, Thrud rushed ahead, picked the dwarf up -from the ground and hugged him to her breast.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It was a long and passionate clinch. While it was going on, Kevan -suddenly realized that his job was finished and that he was tired. It -had been a long night's work. Finally, when he could wait no longer, he -leaned over and tapped the dwarf on the shoulder.</p> - -<p>Alviss tore his lips from Thrud's and looked over his shoulder, -scowling. "Go get your own woman," he said.</p> - -<p>"I was about," Kevan said with dignity, "to announce that I was -leaving. I wondered if perhaps you might know of a shorter way back -than the way I came. I'm rather tired and would like to get home as -soon as I can."</p> - -<p>"Put me down, dear," Alviss told Thrud. She obeyed and the little dwarf -seemed to listen a moment. Then he picked up his pickaxe and strode -over to the wall. With a few swings, he'd opened a fairly large hole.</p> - -<p>"There," he said to Kevan, "that'll let you into a subway passage -that's right beneath Shanachie's office. I must admit that I'm grateful -to you, Kevan MacGreene."</p> - -<p>"Think nothing of it," Kevan said. He started to step through the hole, -then hesitated. "There is one thing I'd like to know," he said.</p> - -<p>"What?"</p> - -<p>"What was in that mixture that stopped Ragnarok and is strong enough to -hold the evil gods of Asgard?"</p> - -<p>"Just what the recipe called for," Alviss said proudly. "All of the -pitch-blende in the world. The egos of a general, a dictator, and a -number of lesser persons. The vanity of some American Congressmen. The -greed of an infinite number of men. One drop of blood from the left -thumb of a communist, a capitalist, a religious fanatic, a censor, -a racist, and from every man in the world who would like to be a -little better than some other man. A drop of marrow, as a substitute -for blood, from all executive vice-presidents. One page each from -a contract, a mortgage, a promissory note, an international cartel -agreement. Three corporation charters. One lobbyist's expense account. -Finger-nail cuttings from every politician in the world. All of these -boiled together in the juice of man's inhumanity to man. Your world is -now minus all of those things, but we achieved a brew which possessed -more evil than Loki and his pack could stand."</p> - -<p>"I can still remember the odor," Kevan said nodding.</p> - -<p>"What it contained that may be of value, if used differently," said -Alviss, "can sometime be regained by a world in which the mortals -cannot misuse them. Although such action will also release Loki, it -will then do no harm. When men are not evil, then their gods dare not -be. Now, be along with you, Kevan MacGreene—I have a spot of courting -to do."</p> - -<p>Kevan stepped through the hole and found himself in a subway station. -He hurried up the stairs and a moment later stepped out on the streets -of New York.</p> - -<p>While he'd been sure that it was almost daylight when he'd left Alviss, -here it was only approaching evening. Although he did not look closely, -being in a hurry to check in, it seemed to him that there was something -different about everything in the city.</p> - -<p>He finally arrived at the corner of Fourth and Twelfth Streets and -stopped, puzzled. There ahead of him was the sign <i>TROUBLESHOOTERS, -INC.</i>, but it was on a fine modern building that looked as if it were -made from spun glass. He could have sworn that it had been on an old -brownstone building. Deciding that it must have been the hangover, he -hurried inside.</p> - -<p>"Kathleen," he shouted to the dark-haired girl at the desk.</p> - -<p>She looked up with a friendly but distant smile. "I beg your pardon," -she said.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Kevan looked at her and frowned. She looked almost exactly like -Kathleen Culanna, even to the emerald green eyes, but she was -different. "You're not Kathleen Culanna," he said.</p> - -<p>The girl shook her head. "No," she said, "I'm afraid that she left some -time ago. You must be one of our men, aren't you?"</p> - -<p>"Yes," said Kevan. "Kevan MacGreene's the name. You can be telling his -nibs I'm back." The more he looked at the girl the more he thought he'd -recover from the disappointment of not seeing Kathleen. "And what's -your name?"</p> - -<p>"Colleen Dannan."</p> - -<p>"A pretty name to go with a pretty lass," Kevan said. "Is his nibs in?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, Mr. Shanachie is in," the girl said. "He asked me to give you -your salary check if you came in this way." She held up a pink oblong -of paper.</p> - -<p>"Salary, then, is it?" said Kevan, reaching for it. "It must be that -he remembered I said that I was broke. You know I never did learn what -this job pays."</p> - -<p>"I believe the pay for agents is ten dollars a week," said Colleen.</p> - -<p>"Ten dollars a week?" said Kevan, feeling the rage grow in him. "Why, -of all the doublecrossing, thieving—" He broke off and gulped. He'd -just looked at the check and saw the figure that was written on it. -<i>Pay to the order of Kevan MacGreene $468,000.00.</i> "There must be some -mistake," he said in a weak voice. "This check is for almost a half a -million dollars."</p> - -<p>"No mistake," the dark-haired girl said with a smile. "You were working -in the land of the Little People, weren't you?"</p> - -<p>Kevan nodded.</p> - -<p>"And you were there for a whole night?"</p> - -<p>Kevan nodded again.</p> - -<p>"Then there's no mistake," the girl said. "One night in the land of the -Little People is the same as nine hundred years here. This is the year -2852 and that represents your back pay."</p> - -<p>For a moment, the room spun about Kevan MacGreene's head. He gripped -the desk hard and hung on and after a moment he could see a pair of -emerald green eyes clearly. They looked friendly—and soothing.</p> - -<p>"Colleen Dannan," he said, "would you have dinner with me and explain -all of this again while you're holding my hand to protect me from the -shock?"</p> - -<p>"He's waiting for you," the girl said, indicating the door. "Ask me -when you come back. If I'm still here, I will."</p> - -<p>Kevan MacGreene took two steps toward the door and then came back, -shaking his head.</p> - -<p>"No," he said firmly. "If I've been working nine hundred years then I'm -entitled to a night off. And I lost one girl by walking through that -door. I'm taking no chances on this one. Come with me, Colleen—you're -going to dinner."</p> - -<p>And that is how Colleen Dannan, a descendent of Macha De Dannan -herself, came to have dinner with Kevan MacGreene, but one generation -and nine hundred years removed from the County Ulster.</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GNOME'S GNEISS ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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