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+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #68727 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/68727)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The emerald of Catherine the Great, by
-Hilaire Belloc
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The emerald of Catherine the Great
-
-Author: Hilaire Belloc
-
-Illustrator: Gilbert Keith Chesterton
-
-Release Date: August 11, 2022 [eBook #68727]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: Laura Natal Rodrigues (Images generously made available by
- Hathi Trust Digital Library.)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE EMERALD OF CATHERINE THE
-GREAT ***
-
-
-_THE
-EMERALD
-CATHERINE THE GREAT_
-
-
-
-
-_By Hilaire Belloc_
-
-
-
-
-_With Illustrations by
-G. K. Chesterton_
-
-
-
-
-1926
-
-Publishers
-
-New York and London
-
-Harper & Brothers
-
-
-[Illustration: _Mr. Collop describes the Finesse Diplomatique
-of Bogotar._]
-
-
-
-
-TO MAURICE BARING
-
-
-MY DEAR MAURICE:
-
-
-This is the fourth book I have dedicated to you, and you will see why if
-you read it--which no one need do.
-
-First, emeralds are green; and, on principle, like the Green Overcoat,
-it owes to you of the Green Elephant, a dedication. Next, there is
-Catherine the Great. She plays no long part, but she founded the
-fortunes of them all; and we are in communion in the matter of that
-large and generous but regal soul; we agree that it is a pity she died
-before we were born. Also, you who know all about Russia, and I who know
-nothing, have, in the matter of Russia, this Monarch of all the Russias
-for a link.
-
-Lastly, you have often urged me to write a detective story, because (you
-assured me) they have gigantic sales. I promised you I would, on
-condition there was nothing to find out.
-
-
-Here it is.
-
-
-KING'S LAND,
-
-_Whitsun_, 1926.
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS
-CHAPTER ONE
-CHAPTER TWO
-CHAPTER THREE
-CHAPTER FOUR
-CHAPTER FIVE
-CHAPTER SIX
-CHAPTER SEVEN
-CHAPTER EIGHT
-CHAPTER NINE
-CHAPTER TEN
-CHAPTER ELEVEN
-CHAPTER TWELVE
-CHAPTER THIRTEEN
-CHAPTER FOURTEEN
-CHAPTER FIFTEEN
-CHAPTER SIXTEEN
-TALE-PIECE
-
-
-
-
-THE EMERALD OF
-CATHERINE THE GREAT
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER ONE
-
-
-William Bones was a stalwart man, some thirty-five years of age, the
-master of a Brig which sailed from the port of Boston in Lincolnshire
-and was half his own property. He was a native of that town, his father
-having been therein a pork butcher in a fair way of business, his mother
-the daughter of a small farmer in the Wring Land. He traded with the
-Baltic when George the Third was King--indeed, when George the Third was
-still young and long before George the Third first went mad.
-
-Among other ports, he had found profit more than once in visiting that
-of the River Neva, and was acquainted with the Russian trade. The great
-city of St. Petersburg, still new but already splendid, became familiar
-to him; and he himself, in his humble visits to the local factors,
-became a familiar figure to the Secret Police of that capital. Even his
-most domestic and private actions during his dealings in this port were
-registered; and, it must be added, his strong English frame and handsome
-English face admired, but also duly noted and their description passed
-on to the proper authorities.
-
-On his third voyage to Russia he was honoured by the invitation of a
-merchant somewhat wealthier than the common of his acquaintance and at
-that table met some official of the Court, of what exact situation his
-ignorance of Russian and of French forbade him to inquire. Before
-returning to his native Lincolnshire, his happy spouse and his young
-family, he enjoyed the singular privilege of a further unexpected
-invitation from this same Court official whom he had thus chanced to
-meet, and so found himself at supper in one of the smaller and more
-discreet rooms of the Palace, upon its mezzanine floor, in a choice
-company of both sexes.
-
-It is characteristic of the Empress herself--a great woman!--that a
-large humanity and a laudable curiosity combined rendered her
-indifferent to the conventions of rank. No sooner had she heard of the
-British merchant captain's cheerful and manly habit than she desired a
-more exact description, upon her receiving which he was permitted an
-entrance to the Presence.
-
-He enjoyed, partly by means of an elderly female who interpreted for him
-until he had improved his few words of German--the Empress's mother
-tongue and most familiar idiom--no little conversation with the august
-sovereign, who, when he arrived at this stage, deigned to keep him by
-her alone for some while. The interview was repeated upon more than one
-occasion and her Imperial Majesty was so good, upon his reluctant
-leave-taking some two or three weeks after his first arrival, as to
-press him with an invitation to return.
-
-Next season, the moment the Baltic ice was melted, he did so, disposing
-of a mixed cargo; and, while leisurely awaiting his return charge, was
-almost daily conveyed to the Palace from his humble lodging. For four
-successive seasons running this strange adventure persisted.
-
-Meanwhile his Boston neighbours could not but remark that his home in
-the British haven of which he was a native and mariner, showed a
-considerable advance in prosperity. His wife was better dressed, his
-growing family could boast an increasing and superior acquaintance among
-children of a rank with whom they would not earlier have mixed. It was
-even whispered that Bill Bones had made formidable investments in the
-City of London, which he certainly had visited more than half a dozen
-times during his last winter stay in England; and though his friends
-very charitably agreed that the profits of the Baltic trade might be
-large, and that Bill Bones might have had exceptional opportunities,
-they none the less talked among themselves upon the various possible
-sources of a fortune which that trade could hardly account for.
-
-With the fifth season there came an end to what had certainly been a
-remarkable series. Whatever advantages communion with a throne might
-have had for William Bones, the future would no doubt show; but the
-fifth season was the end. There had been farewells, and yet no loss of
-the high regard in which, for some extraordinary reason, he had been
-held by the Semiramis of the North. He had acquired a certain assurance
-of bearing which marked his new fortunes, and indeed, in this final
-scene of his presence upon the quays of St. Petersburg, he seemed by his
-gait to be some one of consequence. And no wonder, for he had left the
-Palace for the last time bearing secreted in the bosom of his ample coat
-a jewel worthy to be a memorial of the greatest passages in any life.
-
-It was an emerald, exceptionally large--the largest, he had been
-assured, in the world--square in shape, of the purest water and set in a
-delicate little gold mounting after a fashion which recalled the
-ornaments of the French Court.
-
-It speaks well for Captain Bones that on his return to Boston he handed
-this jewel to his wife, who thenceforward had it fixed with a pin, to
-serve the office of a brooch, and wore it upon great occasions; notably
-at a dance given by the mayor of the town, to which she brought her
-eldest daughter, though barely of an age for such ceremonials.
-
-The next year William Bones let his house in Boston and abruptly
-transported himself and his family to the metropolis. His neighbours
-were interested to discover that before abandoning them he had purchased
-not a little property in the town and had even appointed a substantial
-agent to deal with his rentals. He was clearly an advancing man and
-their respect for him grew profound when they learnt what figure he now
-cut in a world above their own. In London he was found entertaining
-largely and standing upon an equal footing with merchants of repute,
-though not perhaps as yet of the first fortune. Meanwhile he had
-preferred the name of Bone, in the singular, to that of his earlier
-life, conceiving it to be more consonant with his present position and
-his residence in Cornhill and his interests in the banking world.
-
-His only son George, when of an age for such occupations, which was some
-five years after the family had come up to London, was taken in as a
-partner by Mr. Worsle the India merchant, partly, no doubt, as a
-testimony of friendship to his father, but partly also because William
-Bone, who would now indifferently sign himself Bone or Bohun--the
-original form of the name--had put at the young fellow's disposal a very
-considerable capital.
-
-William Bohun himself died somewhat prematurely in the eighth year after
-his transmigration, and his wife, who, though much desiring to cut a
-proper figure in her new world, had never properly succeeded in doing
-so, followed him within three months to the grave. Her younger daughters
-had received an excellent education; her eldest, born in her father's
-earlier days, had perhaps less refinement of accent and deportment--but
-on the other hand, her solid worth and quite exceptional dowry had
-procured her alliance with the heir to Sir Philip Goole, a landed
-gentleman in the West of England possessed of a fine town house in
-Cavendish Square, but indifferent to politics.
-
-George de Bohun--he had at first rejected but later began to use the
-prefix "de" which a friend in the Heralds' College had suggested to
-him--prospered, I am glad to say, exceedingly, as the son of such a
-worthy father should, and acquired the playful nickname of "The Nabob,"
-which spread from the city to the more exalted circles into which he was
-welcomed, west of Temple Bar. It is a sufficient indication of the
-respect in which he was held when I say that he was elected to Brooks's
-Club, and there, by his generous behaviour at the card table, failed not
-to become a favourite with the most exalted of his contemporaries in
-Whig circles.
-
-It may or may not interest the reader to know that upon his father's
-death it was discovered that the Emerald of Catherine the Great had been
-made an heirloom and was devised by an explanatory letter--since the law
-could not enforce such a succession--for the eldest son, or, failing
-sons, the eldest daughter of the reigning de Bohun on arriving at his
-twenty-first, or her eighteenth birthday, his or her parents or trustees
-being its successive custodians until that date. Failing such a
-personage, the jewel was to be passed to any cadet branch, the eldest in
-succession. If the great line of de Bohun should fail--which Heaven
-forfend!--the sacred object was to be buried with the last of that
-illustrious lineage.
-
-The legal complications to which such a disposition would give rise need
-not concern us, for in fact they never arose. George de Bohun had but
-one son, Richard, born in the same year that saw the death of General
-Bonaparte, the famous Corsican adventurer. To this son in his old age he
-conveyed the jewel with the instructions concerning it, but he had
-previously got rid of its unfashionable Louis XVI mounting and had it
-set again, now as a pendant, after the fashion prevalent in the first
-years of Queen Victoria.
-
-Mr. George de Bohun had acquired--perhaps from his father--an unusual
-reverence for the gem which he believed, with a mystical devotion
-curious in a business man, to be in some way the tutelary genius of his
-House. He would frequently tell young Richard, his heir, during the
-boyhood of that philanthropist, the story of how Catherine the Great
-herself had given it to his own father, the grandfather of the lad, when
-that powerful genius was engaged upon a secret diplomatic mission to the
-Russian Court. Hence had the emerald come to be known by the title of
-"The Emerald of Catherine the Great" in the private circle of the de
-Bohuns--pronounced "Deboons." That it should be preserved in the family,
-certainly never sold and--please God!--never lost, was a religion with
-George, which grew more fanatical as he approached the tomb. He came,
-perhaps from an idea inherited from his father, to regard it as a
-necessary condition of their prosperity, and he imbued his son Richard
-with I know not what vague fears of disaster should its possession be
-abandoned or should the stone itself be mislaid.
-
-This second in the great line, George de Bohun--pronounced Deboon--the
-son of its founder, though born as long ago as 1780, lived to see the
-inauguration of the Hyde Park Exhibition by Queen Victoria in 1851, and,
-having refused a peerage, closed his eyes in the fine country house
-known as Paulings.
-
-This mansion was--and is--situated in Herts, at no more than twenty-five
-miles from Westminster. The successful Russian merchant purchased it
-upon advantageous terms from the bankrupt and disreputable Parrall
-family, whose last and seventeenth representative not only proved
-incapable of preserving the patrimony of his ancestors, but had joined
-the Romish Church and perished miserably at Boulogne.
-
-Richard de Bohun was of course the "Dirty Dick" of mid-Victorian
-politics, and an intimate friend of Lord Palmerston. There is little to
-record of him except that after doing good and lucrative work in two
-administrations he also refused a peerage; in which he was wise, for
-though the family fortunes had not diminished, the general increase of
-wealth around him made his position less conspicuous than that of his
-father had been in the City of London. Indeed, the family was now no
-longer connected with trade.
-
-He died--as he had been born--at Paulings, a country house of such
-absorbing interest that I shall later be compelled to describe it in
-accurate if tedious terms.
-
-The now reigning de Bohun, called Humphrey--after an illustrious
-ancestor, the Humphrey de Bohun who fought at Bannockburn under Edward
-II and undoubtedly held land, through his wife, in the neighbourhood of
-Boston--the son of this statesman, is the Mr. de Bohun--pronounced
-Deboon--of our own day: the highly respected Home Secretary who has
-already passed with such distinction through what he himself will call
-the _Cursus honorum_, having been Parliamentary Secretary to Harry Gates
-during all of the great Paramooka Scandal--when he was the Baby of the
-House--then successively rejected by Middleham West after the Seychelles
-Scandal--when Gates went to the Lords--elected after a second attempt by
-Middleham East, Under-Secretary during the period of the Second General
-Strike and at last, after the usual vicissitudes of public life,
-occupying the exalted position which he still adorns.
-
-His figure is familiar to the public, I fear, rather by early
-photographs than by recent portraits. He is a man tall and carefully
-clothed, with a rather weary expression, set on a long face, with
-insufficient grey hair neatly brushed. He is of a courteous demeanour.
-He is much attached to his country life at Paulings, so happily
-convenient to London, and sheltered from the large growth of suburban
-villas about it by a dense fringe of more or less ancient trees. He is a
-widower, possessed of three motor cars, but with only a flat in town. He
-has refused a baronetcy, for he has (alas!) no son, but one daughter,
-now just entering her nineteenth year. The name of the charming child is
-Marjorie, and it was but recently, upon her eighteenth birthday, the
-15th of January, that her father somewhat solemnly presented her with
-the famous heirloom.
-
-He had used no little ceremonial, speaking a little pompously of her
-dead mother--a Ginningham--of the immemorial traditions of their house,
-and with curious insistence upon the supposed influence of the jewel
-upon their fortunes. He smiled somewhat lugubriously as he touched that
-point, but Marjorie, though not extravagantly intelligent, had brains
-enough to believe in omens, mascots, talismans, and was proud, as a girl
-should be at her age, to enter upon the possession of the Sacred Gem of
-the de Bohuns.
-
-Her father had discarded, for so great an occasion, the Victorian gold
-setting which, he was assured by Mr. Marolovitch and other experts, was
-in deplorable taste. The jewel was now set once more--by Mr.
-Marolovitch--as a brooch, since a woman was to wear it. The new setting
-was in platinum, designed in the finest taste of Berlin, with writhing
-curves and dead square divisions of the most entrancing variety. Large
-as the Emerald was, and its new Prussian setting adequately broad, yet
-the whole lay easily on the palm.
-
-If it be not blasphemy to suggest any inefficiency in our Teutonic
-cousins, I should suggest that the pin was a thought too long and
-capable, on careless handling, of biting the hand that fed it. But for
-any such trifling defect the grey colour of the new and more expensive
-mounting, resembling that of a leaded grate, and the awful severity of
-its odd rectangles and unexpected heavings of its re-entrant curves,
-made ample atonement. Such was the aspect of the Emerald of Catherine
-the Great in the winter when it entered upon its liveliest activities.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER TWO
-
-
-About a fortnight had passed since Mr. de Bohun had given his daughter
-Marjorie the family mascot. It was Friday, the 30th of January, 1930:
-the weather unpleasantly cold, overcast, with a threat of snow, and the
-dark already set in.
-
-After the heavy strain of an English working week, especially in
-Parliament, complete relaxation is necessary from Friday after lunch to
-the Monday's return to town by the afternoon. Nor was any mansion more
-fitted to recuperate the exhausted energies of statesman or politician
-than Paulings.
-
-It had been built in the classical manner some twenty years before the
-decline of the Parrall fortunes, which got their worst blow after the
-year 1745. It was classical and highly symmetric; its fine great doors
-had been designed to stand slightly above the level of the drive and
-looked upon a shallow sweep of stone stairway. Upon either side of them,
-windows in the Palladian fashion, with a pediment above each, announced
-the wealth within; a hanging wreath of flowers and fruit in stone went
-the length of the great wall, and against the sky was a balustrade.
-
-That was all very well for the eighteenth century; but the nineteenth
-and the new wealth of the de Bohuns put on useful excrescences. There
-was a bulb to the east, and yet another bulb at the end of that, where
-new stables, now a garage, were added to new offices, and on the west
-there had been built, a little after the Crimean War, something like
-half as much again of house room, in a manner pleasingly different from
-all the rest. Here a new and more convenient door gave into a large
-hall, not without suits of armour purchased at considerable expense, and
-giving by various doors into the larger, older, and grander rooms of the
-house, into a panelled dining-room, a large drawing-room, too often
-changing in style, and on the extreme west a room very rarely used save
-for the reception of whatever was not wanted about the living parts of
-the house, or--in theory at least--for the complete seclusion of its
-master, when--in theory--his heavy responsibilities demanded heavy
-concentration.
-
-This room we must know, for it was here that blind Fate, an all-seeing
-Providence, or--more probably--a lively and mischievous sprite had laid
-the scene of the loss of the Emerald.
-
-The room was not large; it was in good proportions, for it dated from a
-time when we were still civilized. It was strangely apparelled. There
-was a large, rather shabby desk, at which the Home Secretary was
-supposed to write and where he did at least leave accumulated a few old
-letters and kept them down with a paper-weight of Chinese crystal,
-carefully chiselled into the form of a little god who smiled.
-
-There were five deep chairs of the sort called lounge, upholstered in a
-leather almost black. There were as many more comfortable common chairs.
-There was a really good fireplace brought over from one of the old
-houses in Dublin, of marble with a Bacchic frieze. There was in front of
-that really good fireplace a rug made of the skin of a polar bear,
-singularly fierce in its open red mouth of ferocious grin, its gleaming
-teeth and staring eyes--the room was so deserted that no one had knocked
-that head to pieces with his feet. It seemed almost new, fresh from the
-Arctic.
-
-There were six windows looking to the west, south, and north, and coming
-down close to the floor with deep sills forming seats after the fashion
-of our fathers. For the room projected out into the park upon three
-sides and the western one faced a long grass path between an avenue of
-trees. There were one or two tables which did nothing, after the fashion
-of most tables--outside dining-rooms, and even there they do no work
-which I can recommend. There was above the mantelpiece one of those
-looking-glasses of the First French Empire, round, lens-like, and
-diminishing the picture of all the room. It had a round, broad, gilded
-rim and upon its summit an eagle of the sort that flew from the Pyramids
-to Cadiz, from Cadiz to Paris, from Paris to Moscow, and from Moscow
-back again.
-
-The floor was of the sort called, I believe, in the trade, antique
-Austrian parquet. That is, it consisted of some half dozen slabs of
-cheap pine firmly bolted together, on the top of it a veneer of
-herring-bone Baltic oak, chemically treated to simulate the age and
-dignity of Schönbrunn. The thing was designed for rapid laying down and
-lifting and fitted together simply upon joists with what are--again
-technically--called invisible screws, but at the corners of the room the
-contraption was held by certain clamps which wanted a hell of a lot of
-hammering down when it was fixed. On the surface of this dignified
-flooring lay, carelessly chucked about, a few Oriental rugs from
-Brighton and one charming little Chinese mat from London, damnably out
-of place and swearing with the rest of the room like a cat run up a tree
-from a dog.
-
-What else was there in the room? Ah, yes, there was a parrot cage, and
-if you are wise, unfortunate reader, you will pay particular attention
-to that parrot cage, for later on it has a speaking part.
-
-It hung by a chain from the ceiling against the west window looking out
-on the long avenue, and within it lived--not melancholy, for he was too
-stupid, but in a mixture of stolid age, indifference, and
-nothingness--the parrot Attaboy. Nor must I omit either the appearance
-of the parrot Attaboy, but only later can I tell you how the parrot
-Attaboy came by his name.
-
-Of his lineage I know nothing, nor even of his age. He might well have
-been one hundred. Certainly there was nothing young about his eyes or
-gestures, and I have always heard that parrots, like family servants and
-others whom the gods hate, live to a great age.
-
-Aunt Amelia had made a pompous present of him three years before to her
-beloved niece Marjorie after her beloved Marjorie had reached her
-fifteenth birthday; she bestowed not only the parrot but the cage, and
-simultaneously a kiss upon her niece's forehead. At first the recipient
-of the fowl did not appreciate the gift. But love will grow. The
-thing--by which I mean the cage and the parrot and all--was hung by a
-hook--at Aunt Amelia's expense--to the roof of this room simply because
-it was so little used.
-
-It happened precisely at the opening of the flat racing season, three
-years before the opening of the story which you now have the ecstatic
-pleasure of reading, that young Lord Galton, Marjorie's cousin--recently
-acceded to the title by the sudden and unexpected death of his father
-from I know not what forms of excess--had pulled a horse.
-
-He was one of our modern youths, loving the risks of life and living
-dangerously. Therefore had he pulled a horse and the horse he had
-pulled--his very own--he had named Attaboy.
-
-It was never brought home to him, as the phrase goes; that is, everybody
-knew that it was true. Attaboy was famous at Paulings--a sort of family
-crime to be proud of--a word used as often as any other for the moment
-at Paulings; and the poor old parrot--we have no initiative in
-age--picked it up and refused to learn anything else.
-
-In a way it was awkward. Tommy Galton would come to his uncle's house
-from time to time, and when he came it was rather important to keep him
-out of the West Room during daylight. For the parrot had a way of
-croaking quite suddenly, in the strong colonial accent of his tribe,
-"Attaboy!" at the most unexpected moments. However, the parrot Attaboy
-possessed a cover of black felt carefully put over his cage at night,
-and whenever it found itself in darkness it was habitually silent after
-the honourable fashion of parrots--and, after all, the room was not
-commonly used. There was little risk of Lord Galton's being in it save
-after the black cover was over the detestable bird.
-
-Of Attaboy the parrot--Attaboy the horse had already gone to
-stud--Marjorie grew fond. For one thing, she was not unattracted by her
-cousin Tom, and Attaboy made a sort of bond between them. For another,
-she was at the age when women can be fond of anything, even Tommy
-Galton, let alone a parrot.
-
-So much for Attaboy and the deserted room.
-
-It has been remarked--without payment--by more than one philosopher that
-the great events of this world arrive through the action of agents who
-did not intend them. And this you will find to be true of Attaboy, of
-the Polar Bear, and the deserted West Room.
-
-I think it only fair to add, since I am writing a detective story, that
-when Aunt Amelia visited her brother the Home Secretary, which was, all
-totted up, for something like a third of the year, she was given the
-principal guest room, known in the family as Bannockburn, which lay
-immediately above.
-
-So much for Paulings and its now famous, then deserted, West Room; its
-Parrot, its Polar Bear.
-
-I return to that winter week-end, that cold January Friday and the few
-gathered in the great drawing-room of Paulings round its tea table.
-
-It was not a party: it was a family meeting of a very few people.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Dear Aunt, so good, so kind, and a little deaf._]
-
-
-Old Lady Bolter, a much elder sister of the Home Secretary, known among
-the Great as "Aunt Amelia," we have seen was half a permanency. She had
-already given them three weeks of herself a month before; and she had
-now settled down to another bout. They suffered her in this fashion
-often enough; but as for her, she knitted. I have read in one of those
-books which are published anonymously upon the people of that world,
-that she had been famous in King Edward's day for her wit. Maybe. She
-would hardly be famous for it now. However, she was not nearly so blind
-nor so deaf as she pretended to be. She had met most people up to the
-Great War and resembled a sheep.
-
-Victoria Mosel was there, Marjorie's friend of another generation, still
-sinuously moving round and round from house to house forever. There were
-two men, close relatives, cousins: an elder and a younger.
-
-The first was the hippo-phile, the expert in things of the Turf whom you
-have just heard of, young Lord Galton, the son of the Home Secretary's
-first cousin, Cecily, who had brought to Algernon, first--and very
-nearly last--Lord Galton, a sufficient dowry, drawn from the then ample
-funds of the de Bohuns, for her father had been the younger brother of
-the Home Secretary. But this first--and very nearly last--Lord Galton
-indeed was dead, and so was Lady Galton his wife, and the young man, now
-his own father, found his inheritance less than he might have desired.
-The Galtons, wisely taking their title from their name, had not done
-well since they had left Liverpool; they had left that town too early.
-So here he was, a tall, dark young man, a little too solid and certain
-of himself, and--unhappily--attached to racing, a pastime for which his
-fortune might have been sufficient fifty years ago, but was not at all
-sufficient to-day.
-
-It was not every house in England in which Lord Galton would have been
-welcomed; but family counts, and he was here, with his rather sullen
-face, strong chin and fixed mouth, and sub-challenging eyes. They were
-sub-challenging because of Attaboy the horse. He had not suffered as he
-might have done; he went a good deal less to one or two of his better
-clubs than he had done before the rumour spread, but he was still a
-constant member of the Posts and gambled there assiduously and with some
-success. Yet was he always embarrassed, and his embarrassment did not
-help his reputation.
-
-He sat at the tea table that afternoon, fighting the boredom of Aunt
-Amelia with what was toleration if it was not courtesy, and looking at
-Marjorie without admiration but perhaps with intention. Now and then he
-cast a furtive sharp look, when he thought it was safe, at Victoria
-Mosel. She always knew too much, and as she stood there in front of the
-fire, with a sham vacant look on her shrewd face, and the eternal
-cigarette hanging from her lip, he wished her farther.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Mr. B. Leader, Reader in Crystallogy to the
-University, reading in Crystallogy to the
-University._]
-
-
-The second guest at that table, next to the Home Secretary himself, was
-yet another cousin, but a whole first cousin this time--the only son of
-the youngest uncle of all, who had married very young and very
-imprudently. Wherefore was the said cousin, William by name, unable to
-go into the City, and, compelled to become a Don, had become by
-profession a professor. For a first cousin he was rather absurdly older
-than the head of the family. The Home Secretary, who had himself married
-late, was not more than fifty-five; but the Don, William de Bohun,
-Fellow of Burford and holding the Chair of Crystallography, was quite
-ten years older--perhaps a little more. He had a simple pride in the
-excellence of his birth, a distracted manner due to his immense
-learning--not indeed in the general field of the Humanities or the Arts,
-but upon the particular point of dodekahedral crystals--and even of
-octohedrals he had a smattering. Such was his fame that he had been
-mentioned more than once in the proceedings of learned societies abroad
-and had been elected Corresponding Member to the Crystallographic
-Society of Berne.
-
-Unmarried, with a small private income, the poor nest egg of his
-improvident father, amply endowed, with no pupils to speak of, and the
-dodekahedral hobby, he would have been as happy as it is possible for an
-atheist approaching death to be, had it not been for the existence of
-that infamous charlatan, Bertram Leader, not even a Fellow of St.
-Filbert's, and mere Reader to the University in Amorphic Crystallogy.
-
-I need not insist on the gulf that separates crystallography, a true
-science, from crystallogy, its base mercantile application. To the one,
-as was but right, a chair was attached; a chair founded by Z. Leizler
-the philanthropist, before his flight, and now occupied by the aged
-figure of the de Bohun. The other was thought hardly worth a Readership
-at £600 a year, and only under secret threats had that wealthy college,
-St. Filbert's, been persuaded by certain City men whom B. Leader in his
-turn had threatened, to cough up. It took its revenge by admitting B.
-Leader to its high table, and refusing to elect him a Fellow.
-
-He it was who, waging secret war upon university caste, dug his
-revengeful fangs into the Professor's naked soul. He it was who spotted
-with relentless eye all the misprints in the Professor's papers, and
-denounced them as enormities of ignorance in the _British
-Crystallographic Review_, with which is combined the _Crystal
-Gazetteer_ and _Bulletin_. He it was who exploded de Bohun's ancient
-German doctrines with the recent research of horrid Dagoes, and exposed
-it to derision whenever he lectured to a class of more than a dozen; for
-his department being mixed up with commerce, there was money in it, and
-a few undergraduates on the scent of the same; not so the Professor's
-department. Now two, now one student, sought the well of learning, and
-sometimes none.
-
-On the other hand, Professor de Bohun could--and did--nourish a burning
-happiness in his heart to remember that the infamous B. Leader was of no
-lineage and had no private income at all. Nay, worse; an accent--almost
-a twang.
-
-But alas! for the alloyed happiness of risen man, in whom the highest
-have something in them of the ape, (Poggles _General View_, Vol. II, Ch.
-XXII, p. 222). B. Leader himself nourished a secret burning joy in his
-heart; for he had found out--what the great thought was peculiar to
-their own circle--the dreadful story of William de Bohun and the
-Mullingar Diamond.
-
-Because he loved crystals--not because he loved wealth: because the
-Mullingar Diamond was the largest of its yellow kind in the world, and
-had a flaw which was confidently reported to be due--incredible!--to a
-bubble, William de Bohun had, eight years before, while stopping at the
-Abbey as an honoured guest, pinched the Mullingar Diamond--not for a
-permanency, but to make a close examination of the incredible bubble. He
-had returned it, but already his action had got known, and some people
-were cold to him. The less instructed among the great whispered that he
-had been a famous thief in youth; the more instructed believed that his
-profound science had produced a momentary lapse. The Family knew, but
-had long forgiven him; indeed, there was nothing to forgive--they said.
-
-Let it be added that Professor de Bohun had acquired, from so much
-concentrated study upon dodekahedral crystals--with fatiguing excursions
-among the octohedrals--a pleasing habit of repeating a word, never less
-than three times, and sometimes six or eight.
-
-In dress the old gentleman was careless, and, though perpetually
-washing, never apparently clean. However, he did shave--save for the
-whiskers which were the badge of his attainments in the learned world.
-
-There was expected a third man, as young as, or younger than, Lord
-Galton, and of a very different and meaner kind, a certain Hamish
-McTaggart, who had become suddenly famous within the narrow circle of
-the people in the know, because the Prime Minister, upon reading an
-article of his upon Protection had said--in the full hearing of the very
-narrow circle--"This is the only man on Protection whom I really
-understand." The article had appeared by the order of McTaggart's master
-in _The Howl_, whence it may be rightly assumed that McTaggart knew no
-more of economics than would a warthog of Botticelli. Hence the lucid
-style which the Prime Minister had saluted with such discovering joy.
-
-His argument had been very simple. If you prevent things coming in to
-the sacred Island, Albion, the Albionese will have to make these things
-for themselves, and that means more employment, doesn't it? The truth
-had struck the Prime Minister with far more effect thus set down in
-clean print, than when he had heard it, as he had heard it a thousand
-times, from the proprietor of _The Howl_, whom he had himself so rightly
-ennobled.
-
-Therefore was Hamish McTaggart now glowing with a vivid, though, alas!
-restricted fame.
-
-He himself was getting heartily tired of it. It had halved his
-income--that is, it had brought it down below five hundred pounds a
-year. No one would print him except upon the subject of Protection, and
-he had to write in the way that was really understood. And he was
-allowed to write only in those papers peculiar to the little inner
-circle with the little inner circulation corresponding--and there's no
-money in that! When he wanted to write about tigers, and get his
-expenses paid free to the East and a lump sum--a job he would have got
-for the asking two years before, when he wrote by the thousand words, to
-order, just after leaving the University--he was asked what on earth he
-knew about it? Tigers! And was bundled back to Protection.
-
-Therefore was his future black; but in the little circle he was a sort
-of lion. Victoria Mosel was always talking of him; Marjorie was eager to
-see him once and then to discard his company for ever; Lady Bolter, full
-of the intellectual Victorian time, wanted to be able to say that she
-had been in the same room with a man of whom the Prime Minister himself
-had said that he was the only man whose writing he really understood.
-The Home Secretary had met him once or twice in other people's houses;
-Marjorie herself and her aunt were the only two for whom he was still
-quite a stranger.
-
-"What train is he coming by?" said Tommy Galton, sunk into a deep chair.
-
-The Home Secretary looked at his watch, then at the clock, noted they
-did not correspond, frowned, and said he'd be here any time.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Victoria Mosel lays odds on Mr. McTaggart's
-saying "Dee-Boe-Hunn."_]
-
-
-"I'll give you evens," said Victoria Mosel, "that he calls you Dee Boe
-Hunn."
-
-"Done!" said Tommy Galton, putting up a finger.
-
-"Bradburys?" said Vic, sucking a pencil. "Gimme a bit o' paper."
-
-Tommy Galton wrote on his cuff. "That'll do," he said.
-
-"I often wish," bleated Aunt Amelia, "that you young people could have
-met John Bright. I was only in the schoolroom, of course, but my dear
-father had no scruples in----"
-
-She was not allowed to go on.
-
-"We can't all sit here kicking our heels till he's kind enough to
-parade," said Marjorie, with girlish simplicity.
-
-"No one wants you to," said Vic, delicately tearing off the last
-cigarette like a plaster, and sticking in another one. "I'm clamped
-down. Me for Hamish!"
-
-The Professor suddenly gave tongue. His exceedingly pale old eyes were
-wide open, and his foolish mouth almost as wide.
-
-"Oh, I think it'll be exceedingly interesting--exceedingly interesting,"
-he quavered. "Exceedingly interesting to meet one of the new generation
-of ... shall we say, ah! journalists? Yes, journalists.... Journalists."
-
-"Yes, Bill," replied young Galton. "We'll say journalists." Marjorie
-yawned and stretched.
-
-"Well, I'm not going to wait any longer," she said, when the buzz of a
-motor was heard on the gravel outside, the approach of middle-class
-feet, the door solemnly thrown open as for a dancing bear, and the
-unfortunate McTaggart appeared, his name preceding him.
-
-The Home Secretary, who had preserved some of the traditions, unfolded
-himself painfully from his chair and stood up, greeting McTaggart with
-the wan smile of the public man.
-
-"Good evening, Mr. de Bohun." And behold! he pronounced it Deboon. With
-the business-like rapidity that became her so well, Victoria Mosel
-handed a crushed ball of three one-pound notes undemonstratively to Tom
-Galton, who stretched forward to take it and elaborately crossed out the
-note on his cuff.
-
-Young McTaggart stood there a moment, not daring to sit down, suffering
-great torture. Nor did any of the company relieve it, though Aunt
-Amelia, to do her justice, did tell him how glad they all were to see
-him, much as a spokesman for the Divinities might welcome any clod.
-
-The poor devil was out of place. He did not know why he had come; he had
-come because he was pressed, because he had nothing else to do, because
-he was lonely, because he had heard of Paulings and wanted to see it,
-because he thought such a visit to such a house might improve his
-prospects; and now that he was here, he wished it had never been built.
-
-He was never at his ease with his social superiors. His father and
-grandfather had been mere soldiers; his great-grandfather one of
-Nelson's captains; _his_ father again a very small laird in
-Ayrshire--but one had to go back as far as that to get to gentility. He
-dressed awkwardly, and he knew it. He never seemed to know quite where
-to put the hands and feet at the extremities of his uncouth frame. He
-also had a rather irritating trick of never looking anybody in the face.
-It was nervousness, and came of writing too much. He was, I regret to
-say, terrified of women, but especially of Ladies; and he had already
-spent the first hours of his exile in wondering why on earth he had
-allowed himself to be over-persuaded and had come.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-So much for the tea table and those that sat round it. The Home
-Secretary, damnably full of courtesy but rather silent, sat helpless;
-Victoria Mosel still stood by the fire surveying them all--and
-particularly McTaggart--not unsaturnine for the others, but with a
-singular touch of kindness in her slits of eyes for the embarrassed boy.
-Then she recovered the firm pressure of her lips, emphasised by the
-drooping cigarette, and the others looked on inanely or surlily,
-according as God had made them.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-If you think I am going to describe to you in any detail how they passed
-their time between tea and dinner, you are mistaken. Some books are
-written like that, and there is an art of making them readable. I have
-it not.
-
-To action, therefore--to the Emerald!
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THREE
-
-
-It was that same Friday night, and about 9.55 by the clock. The men had
-just come in from the dining-room. They had been warned that the
-housekeeper, Mrs. Bankes (fear nothing--you will never meet her again)
-had commandeered the drawing-room. They were not allowed to go back
-there, for even now the belated serfs were spreading, under Mrs. Bankes'
-eye, large dingy cloths over the chairs and tables against the early
-sweep of the morrow.
-
-The Home Secretary had no choice but to shepherd them into the somewhat
-forlorn, hardly used West Room. A good fire had been ordered. He trusted
-humbly in God that the parrot Attaboy, securely covered in its black
-cage cloth, could utter no unseemly Attaboy cry. If it did--well, if it
-did, Tommy must laugh. After all, it was his fault if he had pulled a
-horse.
-
-The men crawled in. McTaggart, being by far the meanest, was
-compelled--in an agony--to go first. Next the Professor slid; after him
-with sullen assurance Tom Galton. And the great statesman filed in last,
-as host and chief, and shut the door with all the discretion of the
-Front Bench and fourteen years of Westminster.
-
-Marjorie was standing on the polar-bear skin rug by the fire, near that
-fierce grinning head, those ironical teeth, holding the emerald--the
-brooch--in her open hand; showing it to Victoria, who peered at it
-cynically enough. She had already heard the story of it--for the third
-time in two weeks, and for the three hundred and fifty-first in her
-life--she knew it to be false, and she dreaded to hear again the myth of
-the diplomat, the old Bohunian lie. But a good heart thumped behind that
-bony breast and Victoria Mosel spared the child.
-
-With this coming in of a new audience, Marjorie summoned them at once,
-and they crowded round in obedience to that summons; and once more to
-the listening earth she told--in her innocence!--the largesse of
-Catherine the Great to her ancestor the diplomat, in whom she firmly
-believed.
-
-Lord Galton looked at the jewel with a sort of animosity, as much as to
-say, "Put on no suspicious airs with me!" McTaggart tittered at it with
-a nervous smile, as though he liked it well enough, but was rather
-frightened of it; the Professor glared it down with an expert's pose.
-The three men stood thus, bunched round their young hostess, touching
-shoulders, while Marjorie continued her story of the de Bohun mission to
-the great Empress, adding sundry other details which in her judgment
-gave a heightened historical value to the gem.
-
-Then the gods struck.
-
-What she did, or how she did it, she never remembered. She felt a sharp
-shoot in her finger: she should have known it was due to the
-ill-calculated length of the pin. She said to herself--but in her heart
-she did not believe it--that some one had jogged her elbow. Anyhow, the
-Emerald of Catherine the Great jerked out suddenly and fell from her
-palm, making no noise. It must have fallen upon the bearskin at her
-feet, where a standard electric light upon a little table near at hand
-happened to cast a shadow. She gave a startled cry, and at once the
-three men were on their knees--yes, even the old Professor--groping in
-the fur.
-
-They were longer at their groping than one might have thought. The
-object was small, but not so small as all that. It was flat, heavy,
-metallic: it could not have rolled. It must be within a few inches, or a
-foot at the most, of the place on which its proprietress had stood.
-
-Unfortunately she moved, and in that movement no one could remember, to
-half a foot or so, exactly where it should have lain. While the three
-men still groped, and the impatient Marjorie tapped with her foot in the
-suspense of it, the unfortunate McTaggart cried excitedly, "I've got
-it!"
-
-Lord Galton at once jumped up, relieved; the Professor also extended
-upwards--less smartly; but when they had risen McTaggart was still on
-his knees. Then with his face peering into the fur of the bearskin, he
-added, "No! It's a splinter of coal,"--and he threw that fragment into
-the fire and continued to rummage.
-
-The Professor and Lord Galton looked at each other. They hesitated
-whether to go down again; they thought it better to leave it to
-McTaggart. Poor McTaggart thus remained in the abject attitude to which
-he had now been subjected for two minutes or more, becoming increasingly
-convinced that something terrible had happened.... He could not conceive
-why he should not put his hand upon the thing.... But it was not
-there.... At last, flushed, more disordered than ever, he pressed the
-fingers of his left hand upon the floor and stood upright. He was a
-little blown.
-
-"I can't find it!" he said.
-
-"You must find it!" said Marjorie sharply. Then, remembering herself,
-she looked at the two who were her equals and cousins and she said:
-
-"_One_ of you must find it! It can't be lost! Nonsense.... Look here,
-stand back!" She pushed her poor old aunt, who was peering about in a
-futile fashion. She enlarged the circle, and then said again:
-
-"Now then, you must find it! Look here, I'll find it." They went down
-again reluctantly, and she herself sank suddenly to her knees and helped
-the group.
-
-But they looked in vain. They separated the hair of the rug carefully,
-they lifted it up pettily, edge by edge, and looked beneath. They
-pressed upon it with their palms to see whether they could not find a
-lump. Then they took the poor beast up and shook him savagely. But he
-yielded no emerald. It was gone.
-
-When at last they all rose again--appalled, for the moment
-silent--Marjorie was as white as the skin upon which she trod.
-
-"It can't be lost," she said again, bitterly. "I say, it _can't_ be
-lost."
-
-But lost it was.
-
-"Father," she said angrily. "Do come and look!"
-
-The Home Secretary reluctantly hoisted himself from his chair with a
-secret groan, shuffled up to the place, and looked down at the rug in a
-refined manner.
-
-"Look for it, father! Do look for it! Come, it can't be lost!"
-
-Painfully but obediently the Home Secretary went down on his knees in
-his turn and groped about, with far less chance than any other man would
-have had, of laying his hand upon the stone. He drew blank, as the
-others had, and rose with more difficulty, McTaggart helping him; he
-shuffled back, and sank again into his chair.
-
-"Well, well, well!" he said. "Well! Well!"
-
-There were tears in Marjorie's eyes--which was a weakness in one so born
-and in such a place, but she could hardly keep them back. They were
-tears as much of anger as of anything else. Upon Victoria Mosel's
-face--somewhat apart, and smiling awfully at the bunch of them--there
-was a look you could not see through. But upon the face of each of the
-three men who had been first down upon their knees--not upon the face of
-the Home Secretary--was now drawn an indefinable veil, as of instinctive
-protection against a censorious world.
-
-It had dawned upon each of them, in varying degrees of rapidity, that
-_he_ was possibly suspect.
-
-It had flashed first upon the lordlet. He lived and breathed in an air
-of challenge. It would not have surprised him if he had seen some day on
-a glaring sky sign flaming up large over Piccadilly Circus and winking
-in and out to compel the eye: "Attaboy? Who pulled Attaboy? Tommy
-Galton!"
-
-The Professor got the message to his brain about a quarter of a minute
-later. He very nearly spoke--but he caught the words in time. The
-Mullingar Diamond oppressed him: all the world pointed a finger at him,
-and the air was full of demoniac whispers: "Mullingar! Mullingar!"
-
-And as for the miserable McTaggart, he was already such a worm in his
-own eyes among these exalted folk that he thought his poverty might
-alone have him arrested that very night. It struck him with a pang that,
-in his innocence, he had remained there on his knees long after the
-others had risen. Then a new shaft stabbed him. Ingenuous, he had dug
-his own grave! They would interpret that cry, "I've found it!" as the
-sudden shock of a real discovery: for him there sounded dully all
-around, "Ar-r-rest that mon!"--and he was nearly sick.
-
-So there they stood--three men, none of whom had any idea what had
-happened, and each well convinced that he was the suspect who must fight
-it out sooner or later: each at the same time firmly believing that one
-of the other two was the culprit. In Marjorie's pure mind there spread a
-growing certitude that they were all of them guilty, all of them, and
-that each of them had the emerald in his pocket--yet were there not
-three emeralds but one emerald. At least, that was how it felt. But
-within the soul of the Home Secretary--if I might so call it--there was
-a strong sense of botheration and of wishing the beastly thing had never
-happened.
-
-Under the keen inward light of Victoria Mosel's intelligence, standing
-apart, a fascinating problem was being discussed. She was delighted. It
-would occupy her for days. It was just what she liked.
-
-In all that circle of heads, showing in different degrees--Victoria's
-least of all--the mood of the mind through some transfiguration of the
-face, each silent for the moment, only one head stood frankly stamped
-with a fierce joy. It was the head of the polar bear.
-
-If he could have spoken he might--or he might not--have told them. It
-might have amused him more to keep them in suspense. His great red
-grinning open mouth and shining teeth were full of joy. His fierce glass
-eyes glared upon them mischievously. It was almost worth while being
-shot and skinned for such a revenge as this! _He knew where the emerald
-was_.... It was in his right ear.
-
-They had taken him and shaken him with great indignity, but they had
-foolishly taken him up by the hind legs. One should never take a polar
-bear up in that way, especially when it is a bear who has been a prince
-in his own country of keen wind, low shining sun, and little dancing
-seas against the ice. They had shaken him, but they had shaken--oh,
-shame!--upside down, and the more they had shaken him, the more firmly
-had they wedged the emerald in his right ear, where it so snugly lay.
-
-He could have told them, and I have hastened to tell you. Then where,
-you ask me, does the detective fun come in?
-
-You shall see!
-
- * * * * * * *
-
- Far in the Eastern Wing where, mured in stone
- Arrived at by a passage cold that ran
- Along the North o' the House, and barred with iron
- As to its windows: also by a door
- Which leads from the considerable room
- Wherein are great receptions held at Paulings
- [An Antrum gaunt, abandoned, having only
- Upon its walls the Oils of dead de Bohuns
- (Pronounced Deboons) and sundry dusty sofas:
- The Room grandiloquently named the Ballroom],
- There stand the Servants' Quarters. It is there,
- That, ruled by their dread Queen, the Housekeeper,
- And by her Coadjutor King, the Butler,
- The serfs Boonesque repose. The Cook, the Chauffeur,
- The Kitchen Maids, the Footmen, and the Boy:
- And Lord! how many others! These that night--
- That winter night of doom--held high discourse,
- Upon the EMERALD. Samuel had heard
- (While bearing in the tray of drinks, himself
- Arrayed in livery) how its disappearance
- Had flummoxed all the Toffs. "You bet your breeches!"
- Said he, to either sex, indifferent
- And indiscriminate. "You bet your breeches!
- Whoever's pinched it's got to cough it up!
- The Boss, he ain't Home Secretary, not
- For nothing!" and with that his tongue was still.
- Then spake young Gwendoline, the Tweeny Maid,
- "I pity Him or 'Er as 'as it!" Words
- Which, when she had them spoken, froze their souls--
- Nor none more starkly than the Second Housemaid's,
- Unless it were the Boy's--and so to Bed.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER FOUR
-
-
-The majestic poise of the Nordic blood is nowhere seen in greater
-perfection than in that crown of our civilization, a modest English
-Country House. Here is there no class consciousness, here is there no
-class war. Each is in his or her own place, and there is peace through
-order.
-
-To consider only the servile portion of the establishment: the Butler
-has his own dignity, and the various other males--upon whose titles I am
-a little shaky--have theirs. So the Females of the species: the Cook
-cooks; the Kitchen Attendants attend the kitchen; the Nurse nurses. So
-with the external squad: the Groom grooms; the Gardener and all his
-Assistants garden. With regularity and zeal the Footmen footle. The mere
-Maids go maidenly about their tasks. Below these specialised
-functionaries, for which Our Race is famous, comes one who may be
-regarded indifferently as the foundation of the fabric or the last rung
-of the ladder, and who is known as the Boy. On him the petty,
-unorganised, lesser work devolves, for which his Superiors are indeed
-responsible, but the mere brute labour of which is his alone.
-
-
-[Illustration: _The Boy Ethelbert in Captivity._]
-
-
-Thus it is the Boy who blacks the boots, fills all the coal scuttles and
-carries them about, lays the fires and lights them, polishes the knives,
-the silver plate--the silver itself, when there is any--and the antique
-pewter; washes up the dishes of the supper below stairs, cleans the door
-knobs and bell handles; pulls up the blinds; pulls back the curtains of
-the ground floor. Notably it is he also who conveys to the Upper
-Servants--who then shall have risen from slumber--the numbers of the
-bells that have sounded. It is he who opens the windows when they should
-be shut, and shuts them when they should be open--so far at least as the
-early hours are concerned, for when the Great are about this function is
-performed by a young man in uniform. It is the Boy who lays out the
-morning post, sets the newspapers in order--therein discovering the
-odds--lets out the little dog--or dogs--and after some few other
-trifling tasks accomplished, brushes and carefully folds the clothes of
-the male guests and lays them out where stronger and older men shall
-carry them up, each parcel to its room, and for that service receive an
-ultimate reward. It is the Boy who carries up the boots themselves--for
-these are defiling to the fingers!--and it is the Boy--mark you: this is
-essential to the tale, you must not miss it--_it is the Boy who picks up
-the rugs and shakes them_, room after room, a ritual preparatory to the
-settling of great clouds of dust, which, shortly after, not the Boy but
-a Maid brings down to the rugs again with feathery instruments and
-devastating cloths.
-
-Hence it was that the Boy--Ethelbert by his full baptismal name, but in
-the daily, Bert--before yet the wintry dawn was more than grey on that
-Saturday in January, whistling gaily at his task, was holding the polar
-bear up by its _forepaws_ and shaking it, as in duty bound.
-
-His heart was gay, for he was redeemed.
-
-Not so long since, this same Ethelbert had (alas!) in company with
-youths of his own age and a little more, not yet free from the trammels
-of elementary education, purloined from a shop certain fruits: two
-bananas.
-
-The Deed might have appeared upon his record at Scotland Yard and dogged
-him through life, for he was already eight years of age and knew full
-well the wickedness of his act. He had been spared by the noble
-elasticity of the English Common Law. His sobbing widowed mother had
-seen, indeed, the shadow of the police across her threshold,
-and Ethelbert had stood in the Felons' Dock before the dud
-parliamentary lawyer who had got the local stipendiary job. But our
-Magistracy--especially that of the Stipendiary Sort--is famous
-throughout the whole world for its merciful wisdom. Young Bert had
-escaped imprisonment, as having been led away by his senior Charlie
-Gasket, who was nearly ten.
-
-He had, I say, been saved; but the memory of the peril had burnt into
-his soul. And now, though he was nearly fifteen years of age, the
-incident still stood out the sharpest of his memories. It was known to
-his lord the Butler--perhaps to his Master--but to no others. He had
-been taken into the Great House in spite of it all, because his father
-had worked upon the estate. Therefore, I say, did Ethelbert feel himself
-redeemed. But he trembled still at the apparatus of National Justice.
-
-
-[Illustration: _The Boy Ethelbert untouched by
-Civilisation._]
-
-
-In the innocence of youth he whistled gently to himself. His other work
-was done; this performed, he had but now to settle the last rug, the
-Polar Bear, and then to rouse his superiors in the hierarchy below
-stairs, to lay their breakfast out and to attend thereon as minister. So
-shook he perfunctorily the Arctic Ursine Fleece, the Hyperborean
-Candour, when he heard something fall sharply at his feet. He even
-caught a flash of it as it fell. He saw it issuing from that ear of
-Thule which would hear no more; he saw it sliding down the whiteness of
-the hair and gleaming dully in the candlelight upon the polished wood of
-the flooring.
-
-There was no mistake. It was _IT_. It was that pledge of respect and
-esteem which the ever-memorable Catherine, Empress of All the Russias,
-had bestowed three lives ago upon the stalwart Bones. It was the
-heirloom of that noble House of de Bohun which Ethelbert served. It was
-the Stone on which he had heard all the domestics of the house inflamed
-in the last hours of the previous evening.
-
-There is an instinct planted in man by Mr. Darwin, which impels him to
-pick up a thing, anything dropped. That instinct Ethelbert obeyed. The
-act was half unconscious, immediate; he had slipped the Emerald into his
-pocket and was already off with a candle in one hand and the other in a
-side pocket, fondling the stone. He was off down the long stone corridor
-which led along the north of the house towards the offices; and as he
-went his mind was full of some vague intention to hand over the
-treasure-trove to those in authority--in good time.
-
-But even as he thus went up by the dim candlelight in the cold dawn,
-along that prison-like perspective of iron-barred windows and whitewash,
-with stone flags ringing to his feet, a vision of judgment arose within
-him. His teeth chattered at the memory of the police.
-
-Ethelbert, that product of no more than an elementary education, had
-received some general outline of the world from cinemas and from police
-reports, which that same education enabled him to read in the more
-widely circulated Sunday papers.
-
-He could not have told you that society was organized to the advantage
-of circles to which he did not belong, and to the disadvantage of his
-own; but he did know that this piece of green glass in its
-leaden-coloured setting of hideous lines would sell for a sum that would
-free him from servitude for ever. He also knew that to be found
-possessed of it would involve a far worse servitude; a servitude not to
-the Gentry but to the Force, and lasting, one way or another, the whole
-of his life. He knew that such servitude was torture. The people of his
-world knew all those things. Therefore did not the emerald represent to
-Ethelbert immediate wealth so much as a vision of confinement alone in
-a small mechanical cell; upon release, a life-long chain binding him as
-an informer and spy over whom further imprisonment should hang at will;
-a crushing and overwhelming tyranny; and perhaps at last a secret and
-abominable death. Of all these things had young Bert's mind been full
-from very early years, for all these things still haunt the distorted
-fancy of the poor.
-
-He saw himself presenting with trembling hand this Thing of Power, this
-Emerald, to his Emperor the Butler; he imagined a first awful and
-immediate trial at the hands of that Justiciar, and later an
-overwhelming sentence from the Master himself. He heard the key turning
-in the door of his room; he saw himself a gibbering prisoner therein; he
-heard the voices of the Inspector and his accompanying Sergeant; he felt
-the gyves upon his wrist.
-
-All this in the few seconds between the West Room of Paulings and the
-offices built out of the extreme east.
-
-So was Ethelbert's mind made up. For his good angel, failing to
-penetrate the first thick skin of stupidity and to suggest the simple
-delivery of the gem to his superiors, at any rate got through the second
-skin and suggested a second best.
-
-He had the brushing of the clothes. He would put it into the pocket of
-some one of the guests, and then he could breathe freely.
-
-Which guest should it be? No one was yet astir; he was free to choose.
-There was a minute or two before the clock would strike the half hour
-and bid him summon the earliest riser--after himself--the kitchen-maid.
-Her name, Kathleen Parkinson, I take the liberty of giving you, although
-she will appear no more in these pages.
-
-There lay the three little piles of clothes, to be carefully brushed and
-folded up by himself, within the next half hour, and among them how
-could a youth of romantic genius hesitate? Did not every novelette,
-every Sunday paper, every cinema, point with unerring finger to the
-lord? Are not lords and jewels made one for the other, like love and
-laughter, or politics and stocks and shares? The lord could not but be
-the recipient of the emerald, and when he should have received it, who
-fitter than he to deal with such trifles? Bert could see him in his
-mind's eye, and hear him in his mind's ear, strolling up to the Master
-of the House and saying, in that airy accent which had always so
-astonished him in the wealthy:
-
-"Oh, I say, Humph, I found the bloody thing this morning and picked it
-up--what?"
-
-Now into which pocket of Lord Galton's quiet blue suit should it go?
-Into the right-hand trousers pocket; for therein, as Bert knew by
-fruitful search, his lordship carried loose change. From the waistcoat
-it might fall out. In the coat pockets it might lurk for long without
-being found; in Lord Galton's right-hand trousers pocket, therefore, did
-the emerald go, to the full depth thereof. The garment was folded again
-very neatly. And all was well.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-In the fulness of time, the sun being already risen--yes, for an hour or
-more--one of those older young domestics of whom I have spoken bore up a
-parcel of clothes and a can of hot water to Lord Galton's door. All the
-ritual of these palaces was gone through. The socks were turned inside
-out, the shirt laid out like a corpse in its shroud, the pile of brushed
-and folded clothes set upon a chair, the fire lit--as though the room
-were not already stifling with a hot-air machine; the window opened
-wider, as though the piercing air had not already started a draught
-which had fought with the hot air all night long. The under-upper
-servant glided away, and Lord Galton got out of bed and shaved and
-washed and dressed; considering in his mind what all others woke to
-consider in that same house on that same morning, but especially the
-Fated Three: the Emerald.
-
-He looked at his watch; it was a quarter past nine. He stood gazing out
-of the window at the frosty mist on the damp gaunt trees of the park,
-and tried to estimate how he really stood in the minds of those about
-him.
-
-Who would believe that he knew nothing of the stone? Which of them had
-heard--several of them, he knew--which of them _believed_ that story
-about Attaboy? Certainly his host, almost certainly Vic--she knew
-everything. He was not quite certain that she had not meant to rag him
-about it in something she had said during the day before. She would not
-misunderstand, but she knew about it.
-
-Did that damned greasy fellow the journalist know? He doubted it; they
-never did know the things that counted. And as for the Don, he might as
-well have suspected the first imbecile in the County Asylum.
-
-Marjorie did not know; he was pretty sure of that by her way to him. But
-still ... it was known enough; it was known to two.... After all, what
-was pulling a horse, and what had it to do with pinching emeralds,
-anyhow? ... Yet ... yet ... he could not leave Paulings till it was
-cleared up.... If the damned thing turned up in town in some receiver's
-shop they might connect it with him.... He was glad he hadn't brought a
-man.... No, he must stay till it was cleared up. It was a damned
-nuisance. They were getting up a party on Sunday night at the Posts.
-There was to be a rich young fool from Ireland whom they would all play
-with. Those occasions were not so common nowadays. But he must sacrifice
-it. He must stay on.
-
-He made his decision; he slowly picked up the small change off his
-dressing table and shuffled it into his trousers pocket. Then he
-mechanically followed it with his hand, and found something that was not
-a coin....
-
-At first he had the grotesque idea that he was handling a pebble, though
-how it could have got there he could not conceive. Then a matchbox, for
-it was smooth and cold.... When he pulled it out and saw what it was,
-his whole mind went through a violent shock of revulsion.
-
-He was so sickened, strong as he was, that he had to sit down and
-recover himself. And as he so sat, he fixed the dreadful thing with his
-eye, holding it there between the fingers of his right hand, unmoving.
-
-Now indeed was a resolution to be taken!
-
-At first his mind would not work. A man possessed of a thing, no matter
-what he does with it, carries his communications about with him, leaves
-traces about of his possession. If he threw it out of the window, it
-would be found within the radius of such a throw. There was nowhere in
-the room where he would dare to hide it. If he dropped it as he went
-downstairs, a servant might pass and find it within a minute, connecting
-him with what was so found.
-
-Give it back himself he dared not. That would mean, "Poor Tommy! He gave
-way, but he did the honest thing in the end." He would be branded for
-life. Attaboy was enough, without that.
-
-At first the easiest course lured him; to say nothing; to keep it upon
-his person until everything had blown over; then to take it up with him
-to town.... Then? ... He could not help remembering how Alfred had told
-him about his uncle and the cutting establishment in Amsterdam. It was
-all mixed up with the committee for inquiring into the Meldon
-business when there was that trouble in Parliament a few years
-before.... It seemed that one could have a stone cut and get it back
-unrecognisable.... Then he thrust the thought out of his mind and
-shuddered a little at the danger.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Lord Galton discovers the Emerald._]
-
-
-But if he kept it, where should he put it? Where could he put it so as
-to be certain during the night--to be _absolutely_ certain--that no one
-could find it with him or near him? What if he should fall faint or ill?
-What if ... No, there was only one thing to be done. He must pass it on.
-No matter what tale he told--even if he told the truth--to appear with
-it in his possession and to make an explanation was to damn himself
-finally, and that just at the moment his half-damnation on the turf was
-beginning to be forgotten.... He must pass it on.... He must pass it on.
-
-There was one obvious repository; an aged fool of that profession whose
-incompetence is stamped upon them; a native dupe. It should go into the
-pocket of his distinguished cousin, the Professor; it should pass into
-the unwitting possession of the expert on dodekahedral crystals. His
-mind thus decided, he was half at peace.
-
-Lord Galton went down to breakfast. He found his host already at the
-table. The others came in gradually, and no one talked of the stone; nor
-upon anything else to speak of--for of the stone everyone was thinking.
-
-It was, naturally, the learned cousin, the Professor, who first put in
-the word that should not have been spoken. He did it somewhere about the
-jam, and when the Home Secretary was already feeling the need for a
-pipe. Perhaps food had strengthened him. He piped up in his quavering
-voice:
-
-"Ah! Any news about the emerald, Humphrey? Any news this morning about
-the emerald? About the emerald? ... the emerald? ... the emerald?"
-
-There is a natural sequence in fools, as in all others of God's
-creatures. Aunt Amelia came in a good second.
-
-"Oh, yes, Humphrey," she bleated, in that woolly-mutton voice which
-fitted her as does sodden mist a marshy formless hill. "Is there any
-news about the emerald?"
-
-"There is hardly likely to be, Amelia," said her brother, as tartly as
-he could be got to say anything, for long years of suave politician's
-make-believe had untartled his tongue.
-
-"I thought," said Aunt Amelia in self-defense, "that some servant might
-have found it and told you."
-
-"Well, they have not," said her brother, shortly; and there was silence.
-
-The journalist opened his mouth--which he should not have done--and
-began rather too loudly, and in too high a pitch:
-
-"What I think, you know ..." and then stopped suddenly--which put him in
-no better case.
-
-What Victoria Mosel would have said nobody knew, for she took her
-breakfast in bed--always. But Marjorie had come down in the midst of
-this, and spoke sharply. She had slept little and her temper was on
-edge.
-
-"Oh, that's enough about the emerald!" she said. "What's the good of
-talking of it _now_?" Then she gave one sweeping look around, like a
-searchlight trying to spot a boat, and betook herself to the jam.
-
-The one who said nothing was the young racing man with the emerald in
-his trousers pocket. He was not sure of it--he touched its pin point two
-or three times furtively to make certain the gem had not dropped out;
-and then he began, by way of clearing the air, to talk to the learned
-Professor about indifferent things.
-
-But these indifferent things had a purport in them. For first he talked
-of the University, then of that degraded College, St. Filbert's, and so
-worked things round to the infamous B. Leader, and that fairly started
-his companion off--as Lord Galton had intended he should be started.
-
-The old Don was still at it when they got up from the breakfast table.
-He was shepherded--though he did not know that he was being
-shepherded--by the younger man, out into the hall, helped into his rusty
-overcoat, led out through the glass doors into the park, and there did
-Lord Galton patiently listen to his academic victim for something over a
-quarter of an hour, as they walked side by side up the swept gravel to
-the very far end of the avenue, and then turned back again towards the
-house.
-
-Long before they thus faced about, the learned cousin's mind was a
-thousand miles away from reality. The harangue which poured forth
-against the infamous B. Leader needed but little sympathetic jogging--a
-word here and there--from his companion. His soul was not in his body.
-You might have stuck a pin into him, and he would not have felt it; and
-Lord Galton, who knew men nearly as well as he knew horses--at least on
-the side of their weaknesses--felt secure that the moment had come. And
-as he leaned forward, sympathetically close to the left side of his
-companion, he gently dropped into the loose, wrinkled side pocket of the
-rusty overcoat that perilous gem, and felt as though he had cast off a
-garment of lead.
-
-The expert in dodekahedral crystals still poured out unceasingly and
-shrilly his grievance, with many a "Would you believe it?" and "If you
-please!" and "Then he actually wrote to the Society at Berne," and so
-on; and Lord Galton, almost grateful in the new lightness of his heart,
-applauded heartily and loudly marvelled that the Society at Berne did
-not drum Leader out of their ranks with every mark of infamy.
-
-"So," he thought, as they came into the house again--the quavering voice
-of the Crystallographer still more emphatic within four
-walls--"salvation comes with a little intelligence, a little decision,
-and a little opportunity."
-
-He helped the old fool out of his overcoat; hung it up for him on a peg,
-and saw its owner go shambling off to his books.
-
-Lord Galton was pleased with himself; he saw his way fairly straight
-before him, but he would do nothing hastily ... which might flurry the
-head of the house.... It would be a wise and a small risk, to bide his
-time. He would bide it till the noon post had come in, until his host
-had looked at his letters. Then only would he take the next step in his
-programme. He sauntered out again into the Park, where he would feel the
-strain of waiting less, with a walk to occupy him. He looked back over
-his shoulder when he had got round towards the lodge, and saw for one
-moment through the window of the library his aged relative pottering
-among the shelves. He was safe till lunch. And Lord Galton, though all
-alone, smiled.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-The young man walked briskly for a couple of miles, thinking clearly and
-concisely. He came back to Paulings through the mill gate, up by the
-stables, walking strongly and well. He knew exactly what he had to do.
-
-He met one of the servants, and asked where Mr. de Bohun might be, and
-was told he was in the garage; sought him there, and found him giving
-orders about a repair, and trying--unsuccessfully--to understand whether
-the proud chauffeur were lying or no.
-
-He went straight up to his cousin, who turned round at hearing his step,
-and said in a very low voice, and quickly:
-
-"Let me see you in your study alone for a moment. It is urgent!"
-
-And the Home Secretary, glancing up hurriedly with a half-frightened
-look, said, "Yes? Certainly! Come."
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER FIVE
-
-
-Lord Galton stood by the Home Secretary in his study, looked round
-suddenly, and said, "May I lock the door?" locked it without leave and
-then came back and began talking.
-
-The young fellow talked as impressively as ever he had talked when he
-was giving instructions to a jockey, or rather, to the go-between who
-took the risk. He knew how to talk, as do most men who are successful in
-giving instructions to jockeys. His sentences came, weighty, short,
-decisive, and each had its effect. Men said he would have done well in
-the House of Commons, but the men who have said that do not know the
-House of Commons. Yes, he would have done well in the House of Commons:
-not by oratory, but by what I may call the Attaboy side of his
-character. He began:
-
-"Humphrey, I'm going to tell you about the emerald. I think I know where
-it is."
-
-The Home Secretary looked up, startled; but he did not interrupt.
-
-"I want to begin by saying that I know I am myself under suspicion."
-
-"Oh, my dear Tommy," began his unfortunate host. But the younger man put
-up a hand like a slab of stone.
-
-"No," he said. "There's no time to be wasted, and we must have things
-absolutely clear. One of us three must have got that brooch. No doubt we
-are all under suspicion--but I know why I am under suspicion. People say
-I pulled a horse." Again the Home Secretary would have interrupted, but
-the heavy hand made an impatient gesture, and again he checked himself.
-"Marjorie mayn't believe it, and of course that old fool of a Cousin
-Bill hasn't heard of it; and as for that journalist fellow McTibbert, or
-whatever his name is, he may or may not have; I don't care. But anyhow,
-you know it. _You've_ heard all about it!"
-
-"But, my dear Tommy," broke in the Home Secretary, lying eagerly and
-almost with affection, "I don't believe it. Believe me, I don't believe
-it. Do you suppose," he added with beautiful tact, "that if I believed
-it I'd have you here at Paulings?"
-
-Lord Galton just showed at the muscles of the mouth what a fool he
-thought the man. He went on undisturbed.
-
-"It's nothing to do with the value of the lie--they haven't turned me
-out of the Posts, for that matter; nor warned me off. But the point is,
-the story has gone the rounds. A man that would cheat would steal. Also
-you know I'm on the rocks, and therefore I'm under suspicion. Now we're
-all three under suspicion, as I say. That old ass, Cousin Bill, got
-mixed up with the Mullingar Diamond years ago--too much of a fool to
-pinch it for selling; wanted to look at it through one of his
-contraptions. Anyhow, he can't keep his hands off crystals. And an
-emerald's a crystal."
-
-"Is it?" asked the Head of the Family with great interest.
-
-"I think so--I don't know," said Galton impatiently. "Anyhow, it's a
-jewel, a precious stone--what?"
-
-"Oh, yes! It's a jewel, yes, a precious stone. Oh, yes," admitted
-Humphrey de Bohun.
-
-"Well then, so's a diamond. A man who'll take diamonds'll take
-emeralds--what? ... Then there's that journalist fellow--he's under
-suspicion because he's a journalist; they're all on their uppers, and
-you told me yourself about the one who stole the spoons when you were at
-the Board of Works."
-
-A faint smile appeared for a moment on the face of his host. It was his
-favourite funny story--all about a journalist who once stole some
-government spoons. He had told it on every occasion. He told it to
-journalists. But then he was never really featured by the Press.
-
-"Now of those three," went on Lord Galton, rather more slowly, and
-separating his words, "the man who has got it is our miserable old
-family goat, Cousin Bill...."
-
-The Home Secretary started.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Lord Galton explains to the Home Secretary his
-theory--or rather, certitude--upon the
-whereabouts of the Great Emerald._]
-
-
-"Yes, I know what you'll say ... he got the fright of his life over the
-Mullingar Diamond. You'd say he'd never dream of doing it in the house
-of the head of the family." (A dignified look passed over the features
-of the Chieftain of the de Bohuns.) "Then he's such a clumsy old ass
-that you can't imagine him doing it so quickly. After all, it took him
-half an hour to fish the Mullingar Diamond out of an open drawer, and
-even then he left things topsy-turvy. You'll say all that, and if I were
-just guessing I'd half agree with you. But I'm not guessing. And I tell
-you _he's got it_. I don't pretend to do any of this private detective
-work, and I've never read one of their rotten mystery stories in my
-life. That's how I've kept my common sense clear--men who are blown upon
-need their wits about them. I know Bill's got it for a very simple
-reason--_I've seen it in his hand with my own eyes_. Some one told the
-old goat that the place to hide anything was where it would be most
-obvious and simple. He's got it in the left-hand pocket of that damned
-smelly overcoat he wears; but he's such a nervous old balmy that he
-can't help fingering it the whole time; and when he thinks no one's
-looking he pulls it half out and looks at it furtively out of the corner
-of his eye. Dons are always as mad as hatters. He did it three separate
-times while we were out walking just now. He couldn't help himself. He's
-too much shut up inside his own addled head to notice other people. And
-I'll tell you something else, which is also common sense. He won't take
-it out of that pocket till he's left the house. An overcoat's the only
-thing they don't brush or fold up, in this house; you're old-fashioned,
-with these things on pegs and not on marble tables. He knows that. It'll
-hang there on the peg till he goes away. That's the whole point of
-leaving it in such a place.... _And it's there now_. You look for it
-there, and you'll find it."
-
-The Home Secretary put on his expression of gravity in the third
-degree--the expression with which he would meet a deputation for saving
-an innocent man from the gallows and gratify them with a majestic
-refusal.
-
-"What you say, Tommy," he began, slowly, "is very serious. Very serious
-indeed. In my judgment ..."
-
-"Oh, look here," said Lord Galton impatiently, "cut out all that! He's
-not in the hall. He went off to the library, and when he gets there he
-strikes root. There'll be no one about--they're laying the table. Come
-with me, and I'll prove it."
-
-"I hesitate ..." began the Home Secretary. His powerful young relative,
-by way of reply, hooked him by the arm, unlocked the door, and marched
-him straight out into the hall. The ghost of what might well have been
-an ancestor--for we all have such things--must have mourned, if, as such
-things do, it had taken up its kennel in a suit of armour standing by
-the side of the fireplace in the hall: it would have mourned to see the
-head of the de Bohuns stand by while the deed was done.
-
-Lord Galton went smartly up to the bunch of coats, plunged his hand into
-the left-hand pocket of that one wretched old garment, and turned it
-sharply inside out, so that the damning evidence should fall before his
-cousin's eyes. There fell out no small amount of gathered dirt, some
-paper torn into minute fragments, and a stub of pencil; also a rather
-repulsive handkerchief--nothing more. Nothing rang upon the hall floor.
-There was no Emerald.
-
-Lord Galton for once did a weak thing--or a superstitious one. As though
-not trusting his senses, he picked the repulsive handkerchief up and
-shook it. But there was no emerald. Indeed, one could see and hear by
-the way it had fallen that there was no emerald within its large but
-unattractive folds. He knew that well enough before he touched the
-rag--but it was a forlorn hope.
-
-It was the older man who hastily picked up these evidences, not of the
-Professor's dishonour, but his own, and rapidly put them back where they
-belonged; darting a glance over his left shoulder and sighing with
-relief to find that there was still no one about, not the sound of a
-distant footfall, not the glide of a serf. His companion's face was
-darker and flushed.
-
-"I could have sworn ..." he opened. Then he added, murmuring, "He must
-have taken it away."
-
-"I wish we hadn't ..." began the Home Secretary, and then switched off
-to, "You're quite sure you saw it with your own eyes, Tommy?"
-
-"Absolutely certain," said the young man, with a fearless steady gaze,
-and proud to be telling one truth at least.
-
-The Home Secretary held his chin in his hand, stood silent for a good
-quarter of a minute, and then said something characteristic of his
-profession as a statesman. He said, "Humm!"
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-What had happened?
-
-Dear--or, if that is too familiar a term--charming reader, this is not
-one of the detective stories of commerce. You shall know all about it
-beforehand, as you have already known all about it, step by step. You
-shall be subjected to no torture of suspense. We will leave that to the
-people of our story. They were born for it.
-
-What had happened was simple enough. The Professor had gone off to the
-library. He wanted to make certain of the Society at Berne in the
-_Almanac de Gotha_. With men such as he, an obsession having cropped up
-has a horrid fascination for the mind and holds it. He was worrying
-about the exact title: whether it was Crystallographique, or
-Crystallographische, or de Crystallographic. He was determined to get it
-right.
-
-He kept on talking to himself, as was his learned habit, repeating with
-a hideous smile the words, "Crystals ... ah! yes ... crystals....
-Crystals, eh? Crystals ... yes.... Crystallograph ... something, eh? Now
-then, it'll be among the books of reference, eh? Crystals.... Oh, what a
-dirty trick that was of Leader to play!" His left hand was fumbling in
-the left-hand pocket, where he always kept those indispensable
-instruments of research, his large tortoise-shell spectacles. His hand
-groped. He muttered the word "Berne" three times in less and less
-confident tones. Then the message so tardily conveyed reached his
-erudite brain. "Oh! ... I've lost my spectacles!"
-
-He never got used to the shock of losing his spectacles, though he
-suffered from it a dozen times a day. Each time he lost them it was all
-up with him; each time he went through a crisis. Here he was in the
-depths of the country and without eyes! There was a touch of agony in
-his muttering now, as came louder the words, "My spectacles, oh, ah! my
-spectacles ... now where could I ..." He bent his powerful will to the
-control of his, if possible, less powerful memory; he traced events back
-one after the other for a good three minutes, and then he remembered
-that he had gone out in his overcoat and had left it hanging in the
-hall.
-
-
-[Illustration: _The Professor gave an odd little scream like a shot
-rabbit._]
-
-
-He shambled out and groped in the recesses of the left-hand pocket, and
-there, side by side with his familiar handkerchief, the faithful
-companion of many days, was the feel of the rough spectacle case; it was
-all right, but also, what annoyed him a little, a pebble. It was natural
-that pebbles should get into one's pockets when one was out walking in
-the country; at least, he thought it was. He thought it went with those
-terrible animals called cows, and all that sort of thing. But he pulled
-it out mechanically, felt the prick of a pin and then gave an odd little
-scream, like a shot rabbit. Next (excuse him!) he rapped out a frightful
-oath. "My God!" cried the aged blasphemer. No less. But the violence of
-his emotion must have shaken his standards.
-
-He stood there, with the emerald in the palm of his right hand, staring
-at it, distraught. And once more in his bewilderment he fell to
-repeating the name of his Creator--upon whose existence indeed, he had
-more than once learnedly discoursed, concluding upon the whole against
-it.
-
-It is said that under the strain of very severe emotion men do things
-unnatural, out of themselves. And behold! Professor William de Bohun
-behaved for the next half hour like a whole group of characters, any one
-of whom you would have said he could not have thrown himself into for
-the world. Terror inspired him, and the tragic sense of impending doom.
-
-It must be got rid of!
-
-He had a mad impulse to swallow it. Luckily he restrained it in time: it
-was too big, its metal fastenings too angular for health; and then,
-there was the pin.
-
-After he had given up the swallowing baulk, another, far more feasible,
-arose and formed itself more clearly. There appeared before his mind's
-eye a young, round naïve face, fresh to the world, an awkward figure,
-the whole standing out against the background of known poverty. It was
-the figure of McTaggart, the journalist.
-
-A wicked glint illumined the Professor's eye.
-
-
- "Oh! Baleful, hellish light, thus to suffuse
- The inactive optic, wontedly so dulled,
- But now with evil purpose all inflamed!"
-
-
-as Milton has it in the matter of the fish-god, Dagon.
-
-He made no excuses for himself. He recked nothing of the young man's
-ruin. He plunged heartily and heavily into sin. As his colleague the
-Professor of Pastoral Theology had once finely quoted in his Luther
-Commemoration Lecture, "_Si peccas pecca fortiter_."
-
-It is generally held by the more liberal school among theologians that
-man acting of his own free will is not mastered by an external evil
-impulse, but may well submit to it.
-
-So it was with Cousin William on this never-to-be-forgotten occasion of
-his chief downfall.
-
-A Minor Devil happened at that moment to be wandering rather emptily
-through Paulings, seeking what he might devour. He was hungry, poor
-spirit; he had eaten nothing since he had left his own place at midnight
-and he had got lost in the fog all morning. He had almost caught a small
-housemaid, but she had slipped away through the efforts of her patron
-saint, sweet Millicent, and left him perfectly ravenous. It was almost
-noon and devils are not built for fasting. Judge then his joy at coming,
-by pure chance, upon this evil old man. He almost jumped out of his
-black fiendish skin for joy to perceive the flashing violet light which
-surrounds, in the eyes of supernatural beings, the head of a wicked man.
-He spotted it first from a corner of the hall where he had just come out
-of a corridor. He rubbed his hands together and even flapped his clawed
-wings in his excitement. He flew up to the Professor and began pouring
-all sorts of excellent suggestions into his ear--his left ear.
-
-Young McTaggart could play billiards ... the Professor had heard them
-say that ... young McTaggart was probably proud of his billiards ... he
-could be got to go round the table exhibiting his billiards. He would
-take off his coat before exhibiting his billiards. And when the coat was
-once off, and its owner's eye was concentrated on the billiard table ...
-oh, then!...
-
-The Devil, who can see through walls, gently shepherded his pupil into
-the little room next the library where the overflow of books was kept.
-That door, with horrid smile, the old conspirator opened; and there,
-indeed, he found the youth, looking miserably enough out of the window
-with his hands in his trousers pockets. He had slunk into that
-inhospitable fireless den in order to be free for a while from the
-terrors of high society.
-
-"Ah, Mr. McTaggart, Mr. McTaggart, Mr. McTaggart!" carolled the
-scientist--and as he said it he opened his arms wide in a most genial
-gesture. "I've been looking for you everywhere!" There slyly wagging a
-knotted forefinger, "And I wonder if you can guess why? Eh? Why? Guess
-why!" Which words said, and smiling still broader, he repeated them once
-more three times, as was his wont, and then added: "I wonder whether you
-can guess why, Mr. McTaggart, whether you can guess why ... whether you
-can guess why?"
-
-The Devil was now so happy that he could hardly refrain from manifesting
-himself, which would have been fatal. He whisked all round the room,
-jeering at McTaggart.
-
-Poor young Mr. McTaggart! He had been all night and all that morning a
-most unhappy man. He exaggerated in his own mind the suspicions under
-which he lay. He was too innocent to believe that he shared it with such
-exalted beings as the lord and the Professor, of whom--though he had
-never heard his name--he was assured the fame to be European, and who,
-anyhow, was connected by blood with a cabinet minister.
-
-The lad imagined himself watched by a thousand eyes. He dared not take
-his leave, and yet he was in hell during those hours he passed at
-Paulings. He would have been unhappy anyhow, for it was not his world;
-but to be within all that set and at the same time a marked
-criminal--for that is what he felt himself to be--was almost
-intolerable. How he had sprung up when the learned Ancient approached
-him, with those seeming kindly eyes! Ah! had McTaggart enjoyed a few
-more years of human experience he would have seen in those eyes such a
-mixture of cunning and evil joy as might have put him on his guard. But
-no; he thought that in his loneliness he had found a friend. Who
-knew?--perhaps a supporter.
-
-The Professor's plan was simple, but McTaggart was simpler still.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Sudden interest in the game of Billiards upon the
-part of the Professor of Crystallography
-to the University._]
-
-
-"Mr. McTaggart," said the Ancient, with horrible geniality, "I hear that
-you are astonishing at billiards.... Billiards, billiards, yes,
-billiards.... Billiards. The Home Secretary was telling me, Humphrey, I
-mean, my cousin, my cousin Humphrey ... the Home Secretary, yes ... the
-Home Secretary was telling me that you were astonishing at billiards.
-Now you know"--and here he went so far as to make a step sideways and
-seize the young man by the arm--"it is the one thing I can watch for
-hours ... billiards ... good billiards.... I have gone into the
-mechanics of the thing"--he was lying freely, and gambling, rightly, on
-the idea that his companion could not distinguish between
-Crystallography and any other science--"and it fascinates me ...
-fascinates me ... oh! fascinates me. I wonder whether--" and in a
-fashion which would have been crude to any other man, but to the lonely
-McTaggart was heavenly kindness, he urged with linked arm and long
-sidling crablike step towards the billiard-room.
-
-It was in the Professor's conception of things that when one is
-deceiving a fellow being one must talk the whole time. He is not the
-only one to suffer from that delusion.
-
-He talked all the way to the billiard-room; he talked while McTaggart
-was pulling off the cloth; he talked while McTaggart was putting on the
-lights to see clearly on that dim January day; he talked while McTaggart
-was chalking his cue and thoughtfully placing the three balls in
-position.
-
-The torrent of rapid words--all dealing with excellency at billiards,
-all squeaky--was interrupted only at one moment. It was the moment when
-McTaggart did what he had been expected to do--the moment when he took
-off his coat and threw it on the leather cushions by the side of his
-newly-made and slightly eccentric friend.
-
-The sight of that coat so thrown immediately by his side, and subject to
-his hand, almost choked the senile conspirator with joy. But he
-recovered himself, and still poured out a torrent of repeated words as
-the young fellow walked slowly round the table, getting absorbed in a
-continuous break. The Professor interrupted that verbal spate only now
-and then to gaze with a murderous keenness at a projected stroke and to
-mutter "Marvellous!" two or three times; but all the while his heart was
-failing him. It was not the only mean thing he had done in his life by a
-long chalk. He had spent the whole of his life doing nothing but mean
-things; but it was the first actively and perhaps dangerously wrong
-thing the old booby had ever dared to do: for he did not count the
-Mullingar Diamond--that was in the cause of Science, and in the cause of
-Science you can do anything.
-
-But the Devil chose his moment for him; it was a moment of silence when
-young McTaggart was waiting long and breathlessly to be certain of a
-stroke that would bring his break over the hundred. His back was turned
-to the Professor; he was intent upon his play.
-
-The old bony hand, with the gesture of one that takes rather than gives,
-put the emerald into a side pocket of the coat, where lay he knew not
-what--but in point of fact, a tobacco pouch, a pipe, a pencil, and a
-piece of chocolate--of all things in the world!--no longer clean. Nor
-had the Emerald ever been in such society before, from the day when it
-had started life in the splendid court of Moscovy to these last evil
-days of ours.
-
-McTaggart had brought off his shot: his break was 102, and the spot and
-the red lay perfect for a cannon and red in the pocket.
-
-But you exaggerate the diplomatic value of the Professor if you think
-that he had the wit to continue his stream of gabble after the deed was
-done.
-
-It was lucky for him that he was dealing with the candour of youth, or
-that abrupt retreat of his from the scene of his crime would have
-brought suspicion. For, his deed accomplished, he simply got up with a
-jerk, dropped all attention to the play, looked at his watch, muttered
-the time of day with an exclamation, and sidled out of the room, leaving
-his companion marooned ... and with him, full of success, went the
-Lesser Devil.
-
-McTaggart could do without him; he went on playing for another ten
-minutes or so, till the break ended, and had reached the pretty figure
-of 151. Then he in turn looked at his watch in his waistcoat pocket,
-found it would be time for luncheon in a few minutes, put up his cue,
-and sadly resumed his coat.
-
-Had he been of those who smoke all day he would have pulled out his
-pipe, and ten to one would have found the thing lurking there next his
-tobacco; but he thought of the meal coming on, and much more did he
-think with dread that it would be breaking some mysterious etiquette of
-country houses if he were to smoke a pipe. He would not dare to do it
-till he saw some one of his betters at the same work. For the same
-reason, after he had heard them going towards the dining-room and had
-joined them, he was too nervous to put his hands in his pockets in a
-gesture of repose. He kept them dangling in his extreme anxiety to
-commit no solecism. He moved nervously about amid the sullen silence of
-the rest and wondered a little why the burst of geniality upon the part
-of the man of gems should have dried up so suddenly. For not a word more
-did the Professor speak to him; and all through luncheon McTaggart sat
-there in the same terror and the same misfortune of soul, never daring
-to speak some artificial word during the rare moments when anyone broke
-the silence.
-
-They had not yet risen from table; he was still wondering what one did
-at the end of luncheon in the houses of the great--at what point one got
-up, whether immediately after one's host or simultaneously with one's
-host; whether the women went out first, as he knew they did at dinner;
-whether it was his duty to open the door for them--when Lord Galton
-pulled out his pipe, filled it deliberately enough, and lit it. After
-the easy manners of our happy times he slowly and with deliberation blew
-a cloud of smoke across the board which wreathed itself, not
-ungracefully, about the venerable head of Aunt Amelia. So natural an
-action was followed by his host, who in turn thoughtfully pulled out his
-own pipe and lit it, as he rose to fetch himself wine: he mixed tobacco
-and wine, did Humphrey de Bohun.
-
-"Then," thought McTaggart to himself, in an agony of desire for tobacco,
-"it seems this kind of thing _can_ be done,"--and he felt for his pipe,
-and pulled out his pouch.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Mr. McTaggart discovers the Emerald._]
-
-
-Now there happened to be in the room at that moment an Angel. He had
-come to Paulings express to counteract the Devil who had been putting in
-such strong work on the Professor, and the Angel saved the quill driver,
-whom, for his poverty, he loved. For that innocent, finding something
-that felt like his slab of chocolate in among his tobacco, and knowing
-himself to be well capable of having put it there, was just about to
-pull it out, and was already speculating on what sort of flavour
-chocolate gave to Bondman--or Bondman to chocolate--when the Angel
-seized his wrist and pinned it. He did not know the Angel was doing
-this--we never know our luck--he could not have told you what happened,
-except that he hesitated, and being of the opposite sex, was not lost.
-But for the Angel, he would have pulled out the thing before them all,
-and said, "Hallo, what's this?" and there would have been an end of
-McTaggart. Instead of which the Angel, with angelic swiftness, put a
-thought into his head.
-
-"Don't pull out that lump of chocolate! It will make you look a fool.
-The great don't eat chocolate, except out of large expensive wooden
-boxes with Japanese pictures outside; elaborate boxes. The rich do not
-carry half-broken slabs of chocolate in their pockets--still less in
-their tobacco pouches!"
-
-Therefore was it that McTaggart did not take out the lump, whatever it
-was; he grasped a fingerful of tobacco and peered down with one eye into
-the recesses of the pouch. When he saw what was there, his heart stopped
-beating! For a moment he felt faint and giddy.... But the angel firmly
-put the pouch back again, leaving the tobacco in his fingers, and with
-shaking hand he filled his pipe, and with shaking hand he lit it!
-
-What the devil?
-
-How on earth ...?
-
-The unfortunate boy actually examined his own mind to see whether he
-could possibly have done such a thing, and then forgotten it--have done
-it inadvertently. Then he thought it had fallen into his coat when
-Marjorie had let it drop. Then he remembered that he had not been
-wearing that coat, that he had been in evening dress. Then he thought
-that the universe was made in some way that he did not understand. He
-looked at his coat, and fingered it. It was all right. His mind would
-not work properly again until he had satisfied himself beyond a doubt
-not once, but many times. He allowed--through terror--too long a time to
-pass lest he should seem in haste; strolled, looking as careless as he
-could, towards the library, looked round to make sure that no one had
-noticed him, leaped upstairs to his room, locked the door, took out his
-pouch and that which was within. He gazed at it for something like half
-a minute, putting it down on his dressing-table in the strong light to
-make sure.
-
-There was no doubt at all. Either he was mad, or that was the emerald.
-He remembered some odiously vivid dreams that he had had as a child
-during the air raids--but he was certain this was no dream. He was
-McTaggart all right, a miserable young journalist against whom fate had
-woven some hellish plot; and there was the Emerald.
-
-Next he tortured himself as to what he should do; obviously he must keep
-it upon him; he dared not secrete it anywhere. If one secretes things
-one can be traced. Conscience for one moment bade him go and tell his
-host, and risk all; but unfortunately the Angel had been called away at
-that very moment to tackle the Devil again, who had settled in the
-Vicarage; and in lack of such heavenly aid McTaggart fell, as any one of
-us would have fallen. He put the emerald into the inner pocket of his
-coat, pinned three pins round it carefully to make certain that it
-should not escape; and then went down with leaden heart to mix with his
-fellow beings and to trust to time.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER SIX
-
-
-The boy Ethelbert was suffering; not from contrition--which, I need
-hardly tell one of your learning, is the pure sorrow for sin--but from
-attrition--which, I need hardly tell one of your learning, is the sorrow
-for sin only in so far as one considers its unpleasant consequences to
-oneself.
-
-The boy Ethelbert clearly appreciated that in attempting to save himself
-from one danger he had run himself into another far greater. He had put
-a valuable jewel into a nobleman's pocket and that might be, in legal
-terms, for all he knew, embezzlement, malversation or even a compound
-and chronic felony of _malice prepense_; perhaps a misdemeanour--with
-which word he was familiar through the fate of an uncle of his called
-John.
-
-He was in great agony, was the boy Ethelbert; in agony of that sort
-which youth cannot endure until it has relieved itself by communion. But
-how should he speak? His duty was to his natural lord, the Butler. The
-glorious, the remote Mr. Whaley: God of the Underworld. Should he
-confess to the Butler? It would be madness. Yet he must speak: he must
-unburden his mind.
-
-The innocent child was not long in finding a plan. He would go to his
-true superior and, naming no names, mentioning no-one-like, he would
-give a nod as good as a wink to a blind horse, and them as understood
-could follow if they chose, and if they asked no questions they wouldn't
-be told no lies. And mum's the word. Such, in rapid succession, were the
-Napoleonic thoughts of Ethelbert.
-
-It was shortly after luncheon that he sought the room in which the
-dignified O.C. of the household of Paulings was wont to repose from his
-labours: and never more thoroughly than after luncheon.
-
-Midday sleep is unknown to the young, at least after they are very, very
-young. Those of young Ethelbert's age have no use for it and cannot
-understand what a boon it may be to others. Foolishly, therefore, did
-young Ethelbert knock at the door of the holy of holies, thereby
-suddenly awakening the sacred being within, who jerked into a startled
-gasp. He pulled a handkerchief from his face, thought for a moment that
-the house was on fire, expected to see an angry master perhaps; was on
-his feet with labouring breath, purple, expectant; when there entered
-the Boy.
-
-A fine and hearty curse greeted the youth and almost blasted him from
-the room, but what he had to say was of such moment that he just stood
-his ground.
-
-"Oh, sir!" he said, "I thought I'd come and tell you..."
-
-"Come and tell me what? You young devil!" roared Mr. Whaley with a lack
-of dignity which I should have thought impossible had I not myself once
-spied upon him in his more relaxed moments, when he thought that none
-could observe. "I've a mind to have you larroped! Damned if I don't
-larrop you myself!" He made a vicious dash at the Boy, who was only
-spurred by such terror to the arresting cry of.
-
-"Ho, sir! The Hemerald....!"
-
-"The Emerald ..." gulped Mr. Whaley in a very changed tone. And then,
-almost meekly: "Well, what about the Emerald, young Bert? What about
-it?" The fierceness had gone out of him altogether; he sat down. "Anyone
-been saying who took it?" For conscience that makes cowards of us all
-makes us most cowardly when we are innocent--especially in a trade with
-perquisites.
-
-Ethelbert recovered some little of his composure, and there came into
-his eyes a look of simple cunning.
-
-"There's some," he said, nodding mysteriously, "what might speak if they
-chose."
-
-"Oh! Is there?" said Mr. Whaley. "Well then, speak, you little rat!"
-
-"I didn't say it was me as knew," answered Ethelbert a little
-plaintively. "But don't you think, sir, that when the clothes are
-brushed and all, him as brushes finds out what's in the pockets--yes"
-(mysteriously) "even in them of the 'ighest?"
-
-"'Oo'd be fool enough to leave such a thing in their pocket?" said Mr.
-Whaley contemptuously. "And 'oo do you mean by the 'ighest?"
-
-Ethelbert nodded with a superior air.
-
-"Ah!" he answered doggedly, "all I said was, 'there's some could speak
-if they chose.' And there's things that may be left in the pockets even
-of the 'ighest."
-
-"Look 'ere, young Bert," said Mr. Whaley, rising again ponderously, and
-with a new threat in his face: "I'm not going to have any of _that_."
-Then shaking a considerable sausage of a forefinger at the lad, he
-added, "When you say 'the 'ighest' that's enough! Don't let me 'ear you
-speak again: leastways not on jewels and such like. There's only one
-name that it can mean you're driving at"--and there rose up within his
-mind the majesty of the master, Humphrey de Bohun.
-
-"I'm driving at no one," said the Boy, struck suddenly again with
-terror. He had not dreamed that the upper servants felt so strongly upon
-the immunity of lords such as he in whose pocket the gem, to Ethelbert's
-certain knowledge, reposed--for he had put it there.
-
-"You've been a-brushing the clothes, young lad, have yer? Yes, of course
-you have; that's your place; and setting 'em out as they should be set.
-And you say you found something in the pocket of the 'ighest, did you?"
-
-"I never ..." began Ethelbert, almost on the point of howling.
-
-"You shut your dangerous young mouth," shouted Mr. Whaley. "It's talking
-like that against your betters as 'as put many and many a lad in
-prison."
-
-"Oh, sir!" said the unfortunate Bert.
-
-"Now look here, my Boy," went on Mr. Whaley, in his heaviest manner,
-slowly transforming himself into the distant Superior and pronouncing
-divine moral judgment and guidance, as it were, for the very young. "You
-listen to me, and listen solemn. This may be a turning point in your
-life, it may. Talk like this among the lower servants, let alone a
-little bastard not yet sixteen, 'as been the ruin of some--aye, of many.
-So I tell ye. The gaols are full of 'em. Now, you mark what I say, young
-Ethelbert"--it was the first time he had ever used the entire name, but
-the occasion demanded it--"one word from your lips, and you're ruined.
-It's well you come to one like me, that might be your father like, and
-that has a care for your future, my lad. Remember that! One word from
-your lips, and you're ruined. It's not for you to be piecing this and
-that together. Gentlemen 'ave got ways o' their own, and, anyhow, I'm
-slow to believe you. There may be a game about all this, and, anyhow,
-not a word from your lips. Mark, my lad!" he went on, his voice booming,
-"ye're lost if ye speak. Have you taken that?" he ended, almost shouting
-again.
-
-"Oh, yes, sir!" said the miserable Ethelbert, trembling. "Oh, sir, I
-meant no harm...."
-
-"Well, then, you go and _do_ no harm," concluded Mr. Whaley, and waved
-the infant away.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-Mr. Whaley rose to his full height and girth and stretched. He looked in
-a little square looking-glass, one of his necessaries of life, thought
-his tie doubtful, carefully and gingerly put on a new one, worthy of the
-occasion. His boots--he glanced down at them--yes, his boots would do.
-His trousers were just what they should be. The fringe of hair round the
-majestic dome of his head never needed attention less than now.
-
-It was a solemn moment in history. He, George Whaley, a man of weight
-and years, possessed, moreover, now of a sufficient competence, but not
-undesirous of making it larger still, was in possession of the dread
-secret. The head of the de Bohuns, one of His Majesty's principal
-Secretaries of State, had fallen, fallen, fallen! Humphrey de Bohun had
-pinched his own daughter's emerald. The Emerald of Catherine the Great.
-The fortune of the de Bohuns lay concealed by his master's hand,
-awaiting the receiver's gold. Oh, horror! In what embarrassment the
-unfortunate man had committed the fatal act Mr. Whaley knew not: could
-so good a man have been blackmailed by scoundrels? Why should he need
-money--and money at such risk? Alas! who can plumb the depths of the
-human heart? thought George Whaley--indeed, he almost spoke the words
-aloud, so apposite did they seem, and so often had he read them in his
-book of devotions. Yet was it so! And ever, in the least expected
-places, thought George Whaley again, lies the solution of a mystery. He
-shot his cuffs, drew himself up, coughed a little, and rehearsed the
-scene.
-
-"I beg your pardon, sir, may I have the honour of a moment's
-confidential word with you?" And then another discreet cough.
-
-Then how to put it? He thought long and deeply. He must put it with
-sympathy--almost as a friend. He must not forget that he was talking to
-a superior. It would need very skilful handling; but what are butlers
-for if they cannot skilfully handle? It is the very core of buttling!
-
-He had handled other situations in his other situations, had Mr. Whaley:
-none quite so delicate as this, but still, some of 'em pretty delicate.
-Yes; he must talk to Humphrey as a friend. Respectfully, but as a
-friend: and above all firmly. It was clear that such a service would
-merit some reward.
-
-God knows, there would be no tone of menace! Oh, no! Whatever honorarium
-might accrue to George Whaley as a reward for such revelation should be
-the gift of a grateful heart alone: and, said Mr. George Whaley to his
-own conscience, why not? He would be doing his master a very great
-service. Indeed, he would be doing a double service--nay, a treble one.
-For he would be rescuing the Home Secretary of England from his lower
-self; that was a moral service. He would be preventing him from
-inevitable discovery; that was a material service. He would be serving
-him faithfully as an honest domestic should; and that was a service of
-loyalty.
-
-Was it to be wondered at (the whole scene rose vividly before his eyes
-as it was to be--as it certainly would be), was it to be wondered at
-that the grateful man should, on an impulse, seize the honest servitor's
-hand, grasp it warmly, and then, with a catch in his voice, cry aloud,
-"Whaley, you have served me well!" The rest would follow. Not less, he
-took it, than five hundred pounds.
-
-Should he go further? Should he offer his services for taking back the
-gem discreetly and seeing that it should be laid, through means he could
-command, upon the dressing-table of the culprit's daughter--no one
-should know whence?
-
-Time must show; the opportunity would develop; the details of the drama
-would be filled in. But the main lines were clear. George Whaley would
-save the head of the family of de Bohun; he would save the soul--and,
-incidentally, the more earthly reputation--of the head of the family of
-de Bohun. He would receive the little spontaneous, heartfelt reward due
-to so honest a liegeman of the de Bohuns. Ah! Chivalry was not dead....
-
-But nothing must be done on impulse. He glanced at his watch. It was
-only just past three. He must watch the poor tortured soul until there
-had developed in it, as inevitably there would through the effect of
-time, a false security--a false security brought by suspicions and
-counter-suspicions among the guests, who could never dream the real
-truth. Upon such a mood the revelation would fall with tenfold effect.
-
-Then, and then only--he would watch his moment--would George Whaley
-unburden himself of the curse of the de Bohuns and turn that curse into
-a blessing; moral to his master, and to himself material.
-
-Such was the plan of George Whaley. Once more he recited, but in an
-undertone, a whisper, the words of which could not be heard by another,
-the very phrases he was to use, the gestures proper to the great moment
-when it should come. So discreetly did he rehearse that young Ethelbert
-without, his ear glued to the keyhole, heard nothing but a murmur of
-monologue within, and feared in one wild moment that the awful
-revelation about Lord Galton had driven the butler mad.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER SEVEN
-
-
-Marjorie had insisted upon seeing her father alone, and she had worked
-it easily enough.
-
-The Professor in his relief from the accursed emerald had fallen into a
-sprightly mood. He had compelled young Galton to take a _second_ walk,
-and therein had bored the turfist to agonies; which only shows that God
-is just, and that we are punished in that by which we sinned; in
-Galton's case, the avenue. During that walk the crystallographist
-volubly explained his exciting experiences in the past as an amateur
-detective. His large prattling mouth discoursed of marvellous
-sleuth-deeds in the past. But he did not go too far. He said nothing of
-emeralds. He kept the tit-bit, the great revelation, for his host--and
-he knew at what time to deliver it.
-
-As for McTaggart, there was no difficulty in getting rid of _him_. All
-he desired was to be alone. He wandered off all solitary. Victoria
-Mosel, left with no one but Aunt Amelia, fled; and Aunt Amelia, once in
-her chair, was safe to remain there for the rest of the afternoon.
-Therefore was Marjorie safe to tell her father what should be done.
-
-Her temper was at breaking point; she was in that mood when women will
-blame whatever is nearest at hand and most defenseless; and what more
-admirable butt than a widowed parent?
-
-"Papa," she said, "there's only one thing to be done. You must get a
-detective! At once!"
-
-"My dear child! My dear child!" said the shocked politician, all the
-traditions of the de Bohuns rising in his blood, "a detective at
-Paulings!"
-
-"Oh, stuff and nonsense!" said the dutiful daughter. "I'm sick of all
-that. Considering the kind of people you _do_ have in Paulings--gaol
-birds like Tommy, and that damned old fool Cousin Bill, who steals
-diamonds ..."
-
-"Hush! My dear, hush!" begged the appalled and terrified Home Secretary.
-He had noticed an open door, and hurriedly shut it. "Besides which,
-apart from being overheard, really, one must not say such things!"
-
-"Say what?" retorted Marjorie sharply. "Oh, papa, for Heaven's sake
-don't talk any more nonsense, but do get that detective!"
-
-"I can hardly telephone on such a thing as that," hesitated the poor man
-weakly. "Everything I say over the telephone is known at the exchange.
-And we know what happened that time when they were paid by _The Howl_.
-As for letting one of the servants do it ..."
-
-"Oh! Good heavens, papa!" said Marjorie. "Isn't there a car? Go up in
-the car! Tell Morden all about it."
-
-"Morden can hold his tongue," mused de Bohun thoughtfully.
-
-"Of course he can!" snapped Marjorie.
-
-"But ..." hesitated her father, again, "I don't see how ... what with
-the guests ... and I wouldn't have them suspect for worlds...."
-
-And as he said this he saw out of the corner of his eye his two cousins
-coming back towards the house, close at hand; the elder one was
-gesticulating in fine fury in his new-found happiness, and the other
-paced sombrely fierce at the end of his torture. Before they could open
-the front door ...
-
-"Oh, damn!" said Marjorie--and she nearly added "you." "I'll telephone
-to you from my room. I'll give you an excuse to say the Home Office is
-calling." And she flew upstairs.
-
-She was safely at her telephone before the two cousins had passed the
-front door. She gave them time to get into her father's presence, or for
-her to guess, at any rate, that one of them would be in the library.
-Then, with the promptitude of the young and the modern, she did the
-trick. The basement had put her through, and the bell on the big desk
-rang smartly. Galton and the Professor, sitting there in the room with
-the Home Secretary, looked up as quickly as did their host. He was on
-the receiver with a nervous rapidity; and the conversation was of a
-simple sort which I almost blush to recall.
-
-"Now, papa, just tell them you've got to go to town because there is a
-hurried summons in London. Tell them you'll be back in a couple of
-hours."
-
-"Who's on?" said Lord Galton.
-
-"Yes! Yes!" said de Bohun. "All right! Yes! The Home Office? Ah! Yes?
-Tell me the details," knitting his brows a little; then turning to his
-two cousins, "It seems they want me at Whitehall."
-
-_The Telephone_: "Hurry up, papa; it's all got to be fitted in pretty
-damn close, you know; they've got to get the man, and he's got to be got
-here by this afternoon, and got somehow!"
-
-_The Home Secretary_: "Ah? Yes!" Frowning, "Oh! that's serious--well!
-You want me at once? All right! It's Saturday afternoon you know! Is
-Morden there? Tell him I'll be up within the hour." Then he turned to
-his guests. "Yes, they want me at once, it seems. Most urgent. But they
-say it won't take long." He spoke into the receiver in his turn: "Do you
-think I can get back here by five or a little after in the car? ...
-Yes," turning round and nodding at his guests thoughtfully, "they say I
-can get back by five--or a little after, in the car. What a business it
-is! I have often wondered," he added sententiously as he hung up the
-receiver on its hook and rang the bell to order the car--"I have often
-wondered what makes men take office. It's a tradition," he sighed, "Some
-one must serve the State! But it's a weary business." All this for the
-benefit of his two cousins, as though they had been a public meeting.
-"I'll get back at once; my man can do it in forty minutes from here if
-he takes the cut by Muffler's Lane, and there's not much traffic after
-the first two hours of a Saturday afternoon."
-
-The car was round promptly enough. It was stopped within five miles for
-the great man to telephone back--from a local box--to Paulings for
-something he had forgotten to leave word of. But he did not telephone to
-Paulings. He telephoned to the Home Office, of which he was the chief.
-To such abasement do modern contrivances drive us. He called up the
-invaluable Morden and discovered to his enormous relief that the
-invaluable Morden, though it was a Saturday and already a quarter to
-four, was working away.
-
-Within twenty minutes more the great statesman was in his official
-palace of Whitehall. Morden was there all right, as the telephone had
-told him. Morden was there! Oh invaluable Morden! have you not earned
-those directorships and that sinecure in the Engrossing Department? By
-God! you have.
-
-"Morden," said the Home Secretary.
-
-"Aye, aye," answered Mr. Morden wittily.
-
-"You know Scotland Yard?"
-
-Morden did not turn a hair. Did he know Scotland Yard? Did he? He,
-Morden of the Home Office! The man who laid the traps for the
-scapegoats ... the man who worked the parks.
-
-So young--not forty--he had already seen pass before him a long troop of
-politicians, and he was ready to take any folly from them, short of
-physical violence. So when he was asked whether he, the junior brain of
-the Home Office, knew the place and institution called Scotland Yard, he
-said that he did; and he said it as naturally as though he had been
-asked for some information on Thibet.
-
-"Now who do you think," said the Home Secretary musingly, as he rose
-from his chair and paced up and down the enormous room, his brows
-tortured with deep thought--"who do you think there would be--connected
-with Scotland Yard, mind you!--who would undertake a private inquiry,
-and be rigidly secret?"
-
-"They are all rigidly secret," said Morden simply.
-
-The Home Secretary wagged his long head with a weary simulation of
-cunning, and a would-be sly smile illuminated--or at least undimmed--his
-eye.
-
-"That's all right for the _public_, Morden," he said. "But you'll see
-what I mean in a moment. Could they find some one even _more_ rigidly
-secret than the rest? Eh?"
-
-"_I_ could," said Morden. "I can tell you his name. A man called
-Brailton, close over sixty, but very good indeed. He was the man we used
-when there was that trouble about the death in Lady Matcham's house just
-before her administration went out of office."
-
-"Oh, was he?" cried the Home Secretary eagerly. "Was he?" Then with
-great satisfaction in his voice: "In that case he is all right. It was
-certainly astonishing, the way that was kept back....You see, Morden,
-it's something of the same case here. _The trouble is in my own
-house_ ... _Paulings_."
-
-For once Morden was genuinely taken aback. He was silent. "I see," he at
-last murmured gravely. "_Your_ house--and the safe side?--Of course!"
-
-"It's in my own house--and the safe side? Good God, yes!" The Home
-Secretary spoke firmly. Then after a pause he added, "When they find out
-who has done it ..."
-
-"Done what?" said Morden.
-
-"Never mind," answered his courteous chief. "You're bound to know all
-about it in good time. Well, as I was saying, when they know who's done
-it, it might turn out to be some one of whom not a soul in the Press
-must know that he has done it. I mean, if he _has_ done it, nobody must
-know that it was he who did it, outside the few who know that he _has_.
-Have I made myself quite, quite clear?" he asked anxiously.
-
-"Perfectly," said Morden.
-
-"Now this man Brailton. When could he get down to Paulings?"
-
-"He could come at an hour's notice," said Morden. "He got back from
-Yorkshire last night, and he's got nothing on for the moment."
-
-"Ring him up," said the Home Secretary.
-
-It was at six removes, and took just over ten minutes. The man in the
-outer room rang up the department, which told the section, which sent
-for the controller, who gave the order to the third floor, which got
-hold of the group, and the group had the good fortune to find Brailton
-at the end of a wire. Brailton would take whatever train he was told,
-and was waiting.
-
-The Home Secretary meditated.
-
-"I am going down by car now," he said. He looked at his watch. "It takes
-well under the hour by train--it's not seventeen miles. I shall be home
-by half past five, and I'll tell Marjorie. The best train is the
-six-thirty from St. Pancras. It gets down in forty minutes. I'll have
-him met and brought straight to Paulings. He'd be in time for dinner....
-By the way," he added suddenly, as a thought struck him, "he'll be all
-right, will he? Go down?"
-
-"Perfectly," said Morden eagerly. "Perfectly."
-
-"No one'll suspect anything?" persisted his chief anxiously.
-
-"Oh, no, no, no!" assured Morden airily. "I know the man like an uncle.
-Quiet, silver, rather too refined, silent, tall. Dresses--if
-anything--a little too carefully. At Lady Matcham's he passed for a Don
-working in Egypt who hadn't come to London for months. And in this last
-Yorkshire case he passed as a _Times_ correspondent just back in England
-from the east after some years. All you have to do is to make up good
-reasons for people not having seen him before. He passes perfectly."
-
-"The accent?" said the Home Secretary, knitting his brows again.
-"Is--well--you know what I mean?"
-
-"Oh, perfectly. It's beautiful; it's remarkably smooth--yet not
-conspicuous," said Morden. Then, "You knew old Dickie Hafton?" he added
-suddenly.
-
-"Of course I knew old Dickie Hafton!" answered the indignant Home
-Secretary. "He was my mother-in-law's first cousin--went to the Lords in
-1895 and to the Lord in 1910. Fond o' women." And there rose before his
-mental eye the image of that aged peer, thin, aquiline, too proud, too
-careful of his dress, a man of exquisite voice a trifle thin in tone,
-but how precise! with the old, not uncharming habit of a few French
-words here and there. A public figure to the last, famous for his
-activities in the evangelical world.
-
-"Well," answered Morden, "old Brailton's the startling image of Dickie
-Hafton. You'll like him. He goes down."
-
-"All right," said the Home Secretary, hugely satisfied. "That's settled!
-I'm off; I leave it to you to make arrangements. The six-thirty."
-
-But to make his chief quite at ease, Morden whispered something in his
-ear.
-
-"Really?" said the Home Secretary, as he struggled into his coat--and he
-said it very loudly, so that everyone could hear it in the next room, to
-Morden's horror. "Not old Dickie's _son_? There wouldn't be time for
-it!"
-
-Morden nodded mysteriously, and whispered again: "Yes, there is! He was
-only eighteen.... It was the housemaid at his grandmother's." And the
-Home Secretary went out bemused and marvelling at the strange
-revelations of this pur world.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER EIGHT
-
-
-Many of our most important modern inventions have been forestalled by
-the Chinese, for whom we should have the greater regard in that they are
-not Christians. Gunpowder, False Money, the art of Printing, Diplomacy,
-Propaganda, Prison Fortunes, Taximeters and the Strike--all these are of
-the extreme Orient. But what have I to do with all these? It is of the
-Mariner's Compass that I sing--which also was first spotted by the
-Chink.
-
-Now of the various forms of Mariner's Compass there is one with which
-some few of my readers may be acquainted. It is used in certain
-scientific experiments which have nothing to do with pointing to the
-North, but with the measurement of delicate electrical hints. The needle
-swings on a jewelled pivot, very nicely balanced, encased in a small
-round box about an inch across, covered in with glass so that no dust
-can affect the very sensitive affair; and at the side there is a little
-stud on a spring which you press with your finger when you want to fix
-and register the pointing of the needle. So long as you press the stud
-the needle stands firm. When you release the stud the needle trembles
-again.
-
-All very interesting. But what of it?
-
-Wait a moment. Retain this clearly in your mind, and I will proceed to
-the second point.
-
-It has been remarked by the less stupid of psychologists--and that is
-not saying much--that cunning and intelligence are not often combined.
-Conversely, as Dr. Nancy Neerly shrewdly remarked, when her assistant at
-the Hospital for Nervous Diseases, gonophed her microscope, extreme
-incompetence is often accompanied by cunning. Nothing is more cunning
-than your half-wit.
-
-Getting that principle firmly into your head, you will appreciate that
-when Professor de Bohun slunk out in the evening after his cousin's
-departure for town, into the neighbouring suburban villas of Bakeham
-(which, for one thing, fringed the Park--the de Bohuns had long ago
-screened it by a dense row of quickly-growing timber--and for another,
-provided the Home Secretary with a considerable part of his insufficient
-income) his action was not unconnected with that upon which his mind had
-been exercised for now nearly twenty-four hours.
-
-He sought a policeman, and said with a sudden squeak which made that
-high official jump:
-
-"Oh! Can you tell me if anyone round here sells scientific instruments?
-Optical instruments? Electrical instruments? ... Instruments?"
-
-"Wot?" said the policeman.
-
-"Let us say ... ah, for instance," went on the squeaky voice,
-"clinometers.... Shall we say Clinometers? Clinometers? ... Yes!
-Clinometers!"
-
-"Pass along!" said the policeman. "Pass along!" And there was that in
-his eye of a man who hesitates between a verdict of lunacy and arrest
-for leg-pull.
-
-"But, Constable ..." pleaded the unfortunate cadet of an ancient house.
-
-"Pass on! Pass on!" boomed the tyrant, and as there was a difference of
-at least three octaves between the two men's voices, the unfortunate
-Professor obeyed the double bass, crossed the street at the risk of his
-life, and wandered inanely past the shop windows.
-
-But there is a Providence for such as he, as also for drunkards and
-babes; and there, right before him, was an ancient bow window of
-bottle-glass panes; the name of the shop in old Georgian script; the
-information that it had been founded in 1805; and, behind the glass, two
-telescopes, a microscope, a clock, several watches, and a sextant of
-immense age.
-
-The Professor went in.
-
-"What I want ... ah!" he said. Then his eye fell upon the very thing he
-desired. It lay there in a glass case, and the owner of the shop, no
-younger than his customer, brought it out with a palsied hand.
-
-"That's it," said the Professor, nodding genially. "That's it. That's
-what I want. That's it." Slipping it into his pocket, he made for the
-door, nodding good day.
-
-"Hi! Mister! That'll be five guineas," said the ancient. Oh! vileness of
-avaricious age! He had seen his client coming out by the garden gate by
-the Great House, he had noted guilty haste, he had noted academic
-idiocy, and he charged accordingly.
-
-"Oh, yes! Of course ... ah! _What_! Five guineas? ... five _guineas_!
-FIVE GUINEAS!"
-
-It was a sickener. But the wages of Sin is Death. He must have it--or
-something of the sort. And he must have it now, before Humphrey got
-home. Sin will not wait.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Deplorable moral lapse of Professor de Bohun
-(pronounced Boon)._]
-
-
-Believe me or not, but there was positively a flush upon the yellow
-cheek of the hoary intriguer, a flush that contrasted charmingly with
-his straggling white whiskers, as he parted with two half crowns and a
-note. It was a severe struggle. To comfort himself he pressed the stud
-again. Yes, it worked all right. He toddled back, and got in at the very
-moment when his cousin's car was buzzing up the drive, back from London.
-
-Professor de Bohun was determined to lose no time. He got rid of his
-overcoat and his hat with surprising agility, and met the master of the
-house at the door as though he had been in for hours.
-
-But his was not a temperament to introduce a subject with finesse. He
-went blindly at it.
-
-"Humphrey," he said, ere ever the Home Secretary was across the step, "I
-want to see you. I want to see you now ... yes, now ... rather
-urgently.... I want to see you now."
-
-The Man of Little Peace nodded wearily.
-
-"Come along," he said.
-
-His mind jumped back to the false scent of the morning. He suddenly
-wondered whether, after all, Cousin Bill was going to confess? Galton's
-statement had been clear enough. He had said in so many words that he
-had _seen_ an emerald in the Professor's hand. And the head of the
-family would have believed anything, almost of the Professor in the way
-of such follies since the great Mullingar affair.
-
-"What is it, Bill?" he said, as he shut the door of his study.
-
-"Ah!" said the Ancient, almost archly. "What do you think? The
-E-M-E-R-A-L-D! Eh? Eh?"
-
-He searched in his pocket. Humphrey de Bohun looked to see the jewel
-appear. Not at all. What appeared was a little round brass box, glass
-cased, and in it a trembling needle, that shook and shivered like a
-gossamer in a breeze.
-
-"Now, my dear Humphrey," said the Professor, "let us take two chairs;
-yes ... two chairs ... two chairs. Ah! yes, two chairs." They took two
-chairs. "And let me pull up this little table...." He had become almost
-businesslike, not to say sprightly, in concentrating upon what he was
-about to do.
-
-"Now, then; here we are, we two on these two chairs as it were, are we
-not? Yes! And here you see this little instrument, do you not? Yes! And
-do you know what it does ... what it is? What it is ...? It's a
-talcometer."
-
-"A what?" said the Home Secretary.
-
-"A talcometer," said Professor de Bohun, lying freely, and puffing
-slightly after the effort. "Now, Humphrey, I want you to watch
-something. To watch something, eh! Ah! yes. You have, I take it--ah!--or
-Marjorie has, or some one has a jewel--sure to have one. A diamond, say.
-Any stone--crystal. A stone, at any rate...."
-
-"I don't know," began Humphrey de Bohun, wondering what was to be. "Will
-this do?" he asked, leaning over towards his writing table and pulling
-off it the little crystal Chinese god which was used to weight down the
-papers which he had abandoned there so many days.
-
-Anything would do for the deceitful pedant. He nodded cheerfully.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Professor de Bohun explains to the head of the
-family his theory--or rather, certitude--upon
-the whereabouts of the Great Emerald._]
-
-
-"Yes," he said, "so long as it's crystal. Anything crystal. Crystal."
-Then he added, "Now, Humphrey, watch. Here," holding the little round
-brass disk with its trembling needle, "I have our talcometer. Now here,"
-moving the Chinese god into line with the axis round which the tiny
-filament of metal trembled, "here we have this talcometer, _and_ the
-crystal. Eh! _And_ the crystal.... Now watch, Humphrey!"
-
-Holding the little round brass case with his left finger and thumb, he
-gradually with his right hand approached the heathenish idol, sliding
-the False God slowly along the polished table-top towards the
-instrument. It came closer and closer. It was at 9 inches, 6 inches, 3
-inches, ... but there was as yet no apparent effect, when, suddenly,
-with the Pot-bellied Dwarf Deity at about 2 inches off, or a little
-less, the needle behaved like a pointer: it stood immovable, held
-rigidly by some strange force. The stud, dear friends, but how could
-Humphrey de Bohun know that?
-
-"There! You see that? See that? See that?" squeaked the Professor
-triumphantly. "Now I want you to test it for yourself. Move the little
-devil away! Move it yourself! Humphrey, move it yourself!"
-
-Humphrey de Bohun very slowly pushed back the crystal, and almost
-immediately the needle trembled again.
-
-"There!" said the Professor in happy confidence, leaning back. "There!
-What did I tell you?"
-
-"Well, what of it, Bill?" said the harassed master.
-
-"What of it?" answered his cousin. "The Emerald. Ah! the Emerald!" and
-he rubbed his hands together.
-
-"I don't understand a word you're saying," said poor Humphrey.
-
-The Professor leaned forward and tapped his cousin twice upon the
-shoulder with that knotted forefinger.
-
-"That instrument," he said, as solemnly as such a voice can say
-anything, "tells a crystal close at hand. According to the cube of the
-distance. I have to use it perpetually. Very well known. German, you
-know--wonderful people, the Germans. It was Meitz's idea," he went on,
-adding verisimilitude by the effective use of detail. "But _he_ couldn't
-have done it without Speitzer. Often like that in research work. Any
-doubt about a crystal's character. Even amorphous--put that thing close
-enough, and it points at once. Now do you see? Eh! Now do you see?"
-
-"Not exactly," said Humphrey de Bohun.
-
-"Why, it's plain enough! I hadn't thought of it. It suddenly occurred to
-me. It suddenly came to me while you were off to London. Here I had what
-could solve all our troubles. I put it first here, then there.
-Everywhere I could. Went on for an hour--all over the room! All over the
-rug where it dropped. Then one of your guests came in. I didn't want to
-be seen at it. I was putting it back into my pocket when my hand came
-close by the side of his coat. Bless my heart! It pointed!"
-
-He leant forward again and tapped his cousin more solemnly still, this
-time on the chest. "Mark my words! That young man's got it!"
-
-"Which young man?" said Humphrey, remembering what counter accusation
-the Professor would naturally make, and thinking at once of Galton.
-
-"That young writing fellow," said Cousin Bill. "That newspaper chap
-McTaggart. McTaggart, McTaggart, McTaggart, McTaggart, McTaggart."
-
-Humphrey de Bohun hesitated. "My dear Bill," he said, "you never know.
-He might have had something else in his pocket--also crystal, or--I
-don't know ... something."
-
-The Professor wagged his head with all the dignity of a goat.
-
-"Won't work, Humphrey!" he said. "Won't work! One can always tell the
-size by the distance. It wasn't some ring or small thing of that kind.
-Besides which, he wouldn't have such a small thing of his own in his
-pocket. No, the Emerald's there all right. And I'll tell you something
-that makes me surer still. I took occasion to brush up against
-him--there was a hard slab in that pocket, Humphrey. In that pocket. A
-small, hard slab! Slab! ... Hard slab! ..."
-
-An awful task arose in the conscience of Humphrey de Bohun. He must play
-the spy again. He must mistrust yet another guest.
-
-But wait! Should he tell the great detective when he arrived? No. It
-would be only fair to seek the young man first and warn him. But he
-hesitated and he put it off. He would wait till dinner time, or nearly
-dinner, when the poor fellow was changing. He would make it quite clear
-that there would be no consequences--only, he must confess and restore.
-Then he suddenly thought of what would happen if he drew blank, as he
-had in the case of the strange being before him. But he was in some
-agony.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER NINE
-
-
-The Home Secretary was in his study before a pleasing fire. The
-Professor had left him. His daughter was with him. There was no one else
-in the room. He had asked her to come down a little earlier that he
-might explain things to her. There was yet a quarter of an hour before
-they need dress for dinner, and the dread stranger from the Yard might
-be with them at any moment. He had warned each of his guests that a
-distinguished diplomat had asked to run down to see him at short notice.
-The F.O. had sent him on to the Home Office. The matter concerned both
-departments. The distinguished diplomat would dine. They must excuse his
-retirement with that official, later in the evening, to discuss high
-affairs of State.
-
-Such was the fairy tale Humphrey de Bohun had pitched; he hoped it had
-gone down. And now he was alone again to discuss the matter with his
-only confidant, his daughter.
-
-"Marjorie," he said, "that man Brailton was to come by the six-thirty.
-It must be late. I have told them to show him in here at once. It is
-exceedingly important you should know all about it, and that nobody else
-should. We must hear from him, very briefly, some essential points: for
-instance, his assumed name."
-
-"He's all right, papa?" asked Marjorie anxiously.
-
-"Perfectly, my dear, perfectly. Morden assures me ... in fact, Morden
-told me that he is actually ..." and then checked himself. He was still
-Victorian, was poor Humphrey de Bohun. He didn't like to talk to the
-bastards of his own class, and to a daughter at that. "At any rate he's
-all right. Elderly, distinguished--what they call cavalier, I'm told,
-yes, cavalier.... I've already told Aunt Amelia and Tommy that he's a
-diplomat--a fellow I've got to see after dinner.... It's all exact.
-Which room did you say?"
-
-"Senlac, papa. Crécy's being repapered."
-
-The Home Secretary nodded solemnly.
-
-"Senlac will do all right. But you must remember, my dear, that this
-Mr.--ah!--_Brailton_, that is the name, _Brailton_, is somewhat advanced
-in years--and ... and ... I needn't insist ... but a refined man and on
-his _father's_ side, of good blood! He will be sensitive."
-
-There was a silence--but not for long. The door was solemnly flung open
-with a majesty worthy of the occasion, and the Master of the
-Ceremonies--if I may so call him--George Whaley announced in a
-controlled but oily voice:
-
-"Mr. Collop!"
-
-Collop? Collop? What was this? The disguise for Brailton?
-
-The father rose to his feet, somewhat painfully, the daughter looked
-round. And behold! a man sturdy, broad-shouldered, short, clad, not in
-some soft clinging stuff, but in stout Scotch tweed, which--as to his
-upper part--was a roomy coat with poachers' pockets, and--as to his
-lower--plus-fours. His stockings were thick and ribbed, as fashion in a
-certain world demanded at that moment; but his boots were of that
-unmistakable sort provided by the Government of the King for his police.
-The hair was short, coarse, and thick; the face broad and determined;
-the eyes straightforward, grey and far too bold. What the mouth might
-really be like only its Creator knew, for it was thatched by a moustache
-so bristling, curt, aggressive and sprouting-out that the eye of the
-onlooker was fascinated and could not note the ugly lips below.
-
-"Evenin'!" said the Apparition in a powerful voice of low pitch; and as
-he said it he bobbed the head and shoulders of him towards the man
-who--for a year or two--controlled the peace--and police--of England.
-
-"Evenin', ma'am," added the Apparition with the same jerk of the head
-and shoulders towards the Lady of the House. "Cold evenin'? Good fire, I
-see!" he added with a charming familiarity. "Pleasant thing evenin's the
-likes o' this, a good fire is."
-
-And as he thus delivered himself with all the natural grace and charm of
-long experience, his two staggered victims waited for their breaths.
-
-There was but one reply, and the Home Secretary made it pompously and, I
-am afraid, a little distantly.
-
-"Good evening, Mr....?"
-
-"Collop," said the stranger, decisively.
-
-"Collop. Ah, yes, Collop. I should have remembered. Mr. Collop, my
-dear," he said, bending his head towards his daughter, who stared
-astonished and had not yet recovered herself. "Collop. Yes. Mr.
-Collop.... Mr. Collop. I understand fully. We are to call you Mr.
-Collop."
-
-"Rather!" said that solid individual. "That's my name _here_," and he
-winked. "What my name may be elsewhere we both know, eh?" and he winked
-again.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Sudden Entry of Mr. Collop._]
-
-
-"Ah, Mr. Collop--it is to be Mister, is it not?"
-
-"Yes, Mister," answered the gentleman solemnly, "not Miss nor Master.
-Who ye're kidding?" He did not say it insolently. He knew his place. He
-knew he was talking to the Home Secretary. He said, "Who ye're kidding?"
-by way of a respectful jest.
-
-"Mr. Collop.... Yes.... Mr. Collop...." stuttered the Home Secretary
-like a man half stunned. "We expected ... ah! ... you will pardon
-me? ... a Mr. _Brailton_; yes, a Mr. _Brailton_.... Eh? Shall
-I ... ah! ... if by any accident there should be a mistake?"
-
-"There's no mistake," said the genial Collop, "old Brailton 'twas to be!
-You're right there, mister! But he was that sick he asked me to run
-down. ''Tis only a suburb job,' says he. So here I am!"
-
-The Home Secretary whispered to his daughter in an agony: "Can't we stop
-it? Shall we telephone?"
-
-"Too late now--before dressing," said the despairing girl. "I'll tell
-you when I hear."
-
-Her father knew she was right. They must make the best of it. "Put
-dinner on in twenty minutes," he whispered to her in an aside; then
-aloud to his guest, "What ... ah ... what shall we ... to put it
-plainly, Mr. Collop, what shall we say you are?"
-
-"Ah, I've got that all fixed," said Mr. Collop, his voice bravely riding
-the air. "Old Brailton told me what he was and I'm that. I'm a diplomat,
-I am. Tokio the last four years."
-
-The call on Marjorie's intelligence woke her to action.
-
-"It won't do," she said sharply.
-
-"Why not? Eh?" said Mr. Collop, with less ceremony than might have been
-expected from so recent an acquaintance.
-
-"Because," replied the young lady, a little acidly, "one of our guests,
-Miss Victoria Mosel, has just come back from Japan. She was there in
-September staying with our Ambassadress at Tokio."
-
-"Ah!" said Mr. Collop. "That makes it awkward like."
-
-"I think," began the Home Secretary timidly ... but the stronger will
-prevailed.
-
-"Make it Bogotar?" was Mr. Collop's suggestion.
-
-Time, which destroys love itself, and brings mighty states to ruin, the
-implacable master of ephemeral man, caught the unfortunate father and
-daughter in his iron grip. There was not a moment to spare. And it was
-as Mr. Collop, just back from his long but patriotic exile in "Bogotar,"
-that the welcome stranger was led out and ritually introduced to the
-guests in the next room. There is no need to introduce a guest at such
-an hour, but this guest! Oh, yes!
-
-As the master of the house and his daughter were making that
-introduction their cup of agony was full.
-
-What made it worse was that McTaggart, being less of a man of the world,
-as the saying goes, than the rest of the prisoners, was quite openly
-startled, and instead of looking at Mr. Collop's determined face, his
-eyes at once fell to the plus-fours, and he said to himself, as his eyes
-fell lower still, "Thank God, he hasn't put on those brown boots with
-funny little tabs to them! But really! For a detective...." Then he
-looked up at the face--and he, of Fleet Street, knew his man.
-
-Lord Galton stared at the Apparition. He could make neither head nor
-tail of it. He was not of the Horse Pulling, privileged world. Then he
-remembered that your professional politicians had to herd with all
-manner of cattle and he shrugged his mental shoulders so violently that
-his physical shoulders perceptibly heaved. He turned his back upon the
-company and examined a picture until the nervous strain was over.
-
-Victoria Mosel was vastly pleased. It was as good as the Zoo--and she
-loved the Zoo. She promised herself an unholy feast and whispered to
-Marjorie to put her next the Diplomat at dinner. She was not a woman of
-gesture, or of external expression; but she very nearly clapped her
-hands for joy. She had seen some funny things in the diplomatic service
-in the time of her teeth, which were no longer short, but the like of
-this she had never seen; and she thought, as many a contemporary has
-thought since Queen Victoria's death, "We're getting on!"
-
-Then she began to speculate within her own clear mind as to how this
-monster had got into the diplomatic service at all. But she remembered
-certain odd accidents during the war and other people than he who had
-suddenly popped up in embassies at the F.O.--quite out of nature; and
-just as she had all but clapped her hands, so she now all but whistled.
-However, she in fact did neither. Only she looked upon Mr. Collop with a
-happy, happy face, and felt that here, at last, was not a wasted day.
-
-The Professor was vastly interested. He said "Bogotar" three times,
-beamed, nodded, and then for a fourth time he said "Bogotar"
-lingeringly, as though he loved it, and then whispered again, "Ah, yes,
-of course. Bogotar." And put his head a little on one side and left it
-there.
-
-As for Aunt Amelia, her failing eyes did not distinguish the Apparition,
-but her ears distinguished the accent, and the type of English; and she
-marvelled feebly that things had changed so much since the days of the
-Great Lord Salisbury and Peace with Honour. But of one thing she was
-sure. That if the type of man used for delicate missions abroad might
-have changed, the policy of Britain was still secure in the hands of
-whomever the Secretary for Foreign Affairs might choose to entrust with
-that mighty task; and Bogotar (she imagined) was the capital of Ormuzd
-and of Ind; barbaric, splendid, and in fee to the British Crown.
-
-"Ah! Shall I show you to your room--eh?" said the Home Secretary
-courteously, putting an end to what could not be prolonged. "Ah, let me
-show you to your room."
-
-He went so far as to take the terrible thing by the elbow and actually
-conduct it out; ... after an interval sufficient, but not too long,
-McTaggart followed. He would again be alone. He could not bear to remain
-with the rich longer than he was compelled, and now that there was a
-detective in the house he would be discovered. Well, let it be so; let
-the end come soon.
-
-Now there stood, awaiting McTaggart in the hall, that Devil and that
-Angel who had been off duty for a few hours, and were now back again,
-fresh and keen, and bickering, as is the wont of such opposed beings of
-the other world.
-
-The Angel, seeing his human friend and ward, made him a suggestion at
-once:
-
-"You ass!" he blew into McTaggart's ear. "Put it in the Rozzer's
-pocket." The Devil began to object violently.
-
-"You shut up!" said the Angel, turning to him annoyed. "I'll come back
-and talk to you about it later!" Then he turned again to McTaggart, and
-pumped brilliant thoughts into his same ear with such violence that the
-young man's soul was all irradiated and full and he suddenly thought
-himself a genius. Such is the vanity of man! So little do we recognise
-inspiration from on high!
-
-"It's as easy," prompted the Angel, "as falling off a log. All you've
-got to do is to say you've met him, and tell him who you are. He'll know
-you're from the Press--you look like it--and he'll think he's met you.
-_Then_ slip it into his pocket, bully boy! Slip it into his pocket!"
-
-And all the time McTaggart was saying within his own soul: "That's a
-brilliant idea! Now I don't suppose anyone else would have an idea like
-that! But, there! I'm always getting good ideas at the right time!"
-
-He stalked his host and Collop round the top of the stairs and down the
-long passage above.
-
-He saw the door open; he heard the Home Secretary say cheerfully,
-"There's a bath through that door. Have you got everything you want? I
-hope they've unpacked your things?"
-
-He heard the cheerful voice of Collop reply: "Right-o! Everything in the
-garden's lovely!"
-
-He saw the Home Secretary go off with a very changed expression in the
-gloom of the passage. He flattened himself in a deep doorway, a little
-angry that he should be playing the spy--but necessity drove him. He
-waited till he had heard his host go down the stairs; then he knocked at
-the detective's bedroom door. Full of angelic inspiration--which human
-pride mistook for genius--he entered in.
-
-"Mr. Collop," he said without hesitation, "you know me? Hamish
-McTaggart--the Daily Sun? ... You'll excuse me for not using your real
-name?" And he smiled.
-
-"Why, Mr. McTaggart, I've heard of you often enough. Where did we meet?
-And as for the real name"--he winked--"less said the better! I'm in the
-Foreign Office just now. I'm from Bogotar ... How come? When did we
-meet?"
-
-"In the Savoy bar," hushed the Angel hurriedly into McTaggart's ear.
-
-"In the Savoy bar," said McTaggart, aloud.
-
-"Not during the Bullingdon case?" said the delighted but indiscreet Mr.
-so-called Collop, stretching out both his hands.
-
-"Wink!" pumped the Angel; and Hamish McTaggart winked--for the first
-time in his life.
-
-It was a clumsy wink, rather like that of the hippopotamus when he comes
-out of the water, in which element the huge pachyderm so serenely
-sleeps. But it was good enough for the Secret Service.
-
-"Ah! Mr. McTaggart, Mr. McTaggart!" said Collop, shaking both the
-journalist's hands up and down like pump handles. "Well met! Now then,
-you'll make a feature of this in the paper, won't you?"
-
-"I'm not here for that," said McTaggart modestly. "I'm only a guest; but
-of course I can see that _The Howl_ ..."
-
-"Ah! That's the style, laddie! You'll do!" said the Man of Mystery,
-bringing down a palm like a Westphalian ham on the wincing shoulder of
-the youth. "A few kind words on the discreet agent, eh? The Bosses'll
-note 'em down!" He dived into a pocket. "I've got a flask here!" he
-said, and winked in his turn. "What I call my good old prohibition!
-We'll drink to it, eh? To think of meeting the likes of you in a 'ouse
-like this!"
-
-This last remark wounded McTaggart's pride; but the Angel stood by him,
-and they that have angels at their side are firm.
-
-Mr. Collop's dress clothes lay beautifully aligned upon a couch, a shirt
-by the side of them; but the owner's brow clouded as he said:
-
-"Where the devil did I put that flask? Curse them slaveys! I do 'ate
-'avin' things done for me on these toff jobs!" He buried his head in the
-large kit-bag which he had been assured was the proper receptacle or
-container to bring to the Palaces of the Rich.
-
-And even as he therein delved and groped, with head hidden in the
-kit-bag, the Angel brought it off!
-
-"Attaboy!" urged the Angel to Hamish. "Slip it into the tail-coat
-pocket! QUICK!"
-
-And before you could have breathed a silent prayer the Emerald was in
-the tail-coat pocket of Mr. Collop's evening tail coat, lying there on
-the couch all innocent.
-
-Up came Mr. Collop's head out of the kit-bag, very red and puffy.
-
-"I thought as much, my 'earty," he said. "Dirty tykes! ... There it
-was...." And he brought out a gigantic flask holding perhaps a quart of
-the detestable beverage. The bottom of it was a silver cup fitted to the
-glass, and inscribed, "In grateful memory of the Bullingdon Burglary,
-August, 1928" and with the initials B.F. Mr. Collop solemnly half filled
-the receptacle, smelt it with delicate _bonhomie_, and handed it to his
-guest, who sipped it with the resolution in which a man must face
-whatever torture has to be endured.
-
-"Thank you," said Mr. McTaggart, gasping, from his flayed throat.
-
-"Cheerio!" said the Collop man, and he tossed off all that
-remained--enough, you would have thought, to have felled an elephant in
-stupor!--down his own more acclimatized gullet. Then he brought out a
-large tongue, licked his lips, and smacked them.
-
-"Ah, that's something like!" he said. He put the flask and the silver
-cup belonging to it down on his table with a happy grunt.
-
-"Well, boy, I've got to dress," he said. "So long! We meet again in the
-Khyber Pass, _i.e._, at his Nobship's groaning board!" And he laughed
-heartily at his own wit.
-
-McTaggart remembered something essential. "I say, they mustn't know that
-I know you!"
-
-"No fear!" said the redoubtable Collop, winking again. "I don't give you
-away, nor myself away, nor no one away." He had already taken off his
-tweed coat and waistcoat. "You run off and dress, laddie ... You keep
-mum. Same here!" And he dug a podgy finger into McTaggart's staggering
-chest. And they parted.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-From her room, interrupting the induing of those three pieces which
-formed all her raiment, shaking shorn hair, Marjorie telephoned in a
-fever regardless. "The Home Office.... Yes, the Home Office ... No
-reply? Oh! Nonsense! ... What, our line gone wrong? D'you mean to say we
-can't get London? ... Oh! hell!"
-
-She banged down the receiver ... There's a schlemozzle! Telephone broken
-down! Saturday night--the Monster in the Home! And no redress, no aid.
-
-Had she had tears she would have wept. What would come of all this?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER TEN
-
-
-Mr. Collop came out, dressed, he was surprised to find his host waiting
-for him, not to say waylaying him, in the passage outside.
-
-"I thought ..." began the politician nervously--"I thought I ought to
-have a word with you, Mr. Collop, before we ..."
-
-"That's right!" roared Mr. Collop. "That's my style too. Always think of
-everything!"
-
-"Not so loud! Not so loud!" implored his agonized host. He took the
-detective aside into yet another room with yet another fire. It looked
-like some little nursery or schoolroom, and Mr. Collop, used as he was
-to the houses of the great, marvelled at so many rooms, so many
-fires ... an empty room all ready, and with so many pictures in it,
-though on a bedroom floor.
-
-"Mr. Collop," said the Home Secretary hurriedly when he had shut the
-door, "I thought I ought to tell you privately, and alone, before we go
-down to dinner what the circumstances are. The jewel was dropped by my
-daughter--last night after dinner. My three guests went down on the
-floor at once to look for it--it was upon the polar-bear rug which you
-will see in the West Room later. We shall go there together after all
-have retired. When they got up it had not been found ... they _said_ it
-had not been found ... they _all_ said it had not been found.... There
-is suspicion naturally, Mr. Collop.... You understand me?"
-
-"There's always suspicion when vallybles are missing," said Mr. Collop,
-after some thought.
-
-"Yes, Mr. Collop, exactly! Precisely!" said the Home Secretary. "But of
-course, you know, I must be told when you come to any clue.... I blame
-no one. I suspect no one.... But the emerald is missing. And what's
-more," he added with the firmness of a newly stuffed pillow, "I shall
-not spare the culprit."
-
-"No, of course not," said Mr. Collop sympathetically. "I'll get it for
-you, never fear."
-
-His manner, though hearty, was respectful enough in such privacy, for he
-knew that though his promotion depended principally upon permanent
-officials, a good word from one of the fleeting politicians was not
-without its value at the Home Office. Therefore did he forbear to lay a
-hand upon the Home Secretary's shoulder; and therefore--still more--did
-he forbear to slap it as nature would have seemed to demand.
-
-"Thank you, Mr. Collop," said the Home Secretary gratefully, as though
-he had been given a considerable sum of money. "I trust you. I trust you
-implicitly."
-
-"You may trust me _im_plicitly and _ex_plicitly," declared Mr. Collop in
-solemn religious tones.
-
-"Thank you, oh! Ah! Thank you! Thank you again! Thank you most warmly!"
-said his host more and more nervously. "Really you know, we must not be
-seen together. Pray take your time, Mr. Collop; the ladies are always
-late coming down."
-
-"Ah, that's their sort, ain't it? Girls are the devil nowadays, aren't
-they?" said Mr. Collop in his friendliest tones; and with that farewell
-in his ears the master of the house slipped out.
-
-The Home Secretary's next action was to go straight to McTaggart's room.
-It was an act of decision and initiative that you would hardly have
-expected in so well-bred a man. But suffering is a powerful tonic. He
-knew what he was after. He had to speak. He would come boldly, directly
-and simply. He would tell the young man of what he was accused, and ask
-him straightforwardly and at once to clear himself--or at any rate to
-say "yes" or "no." He knocked on the door; he went in; and he began
-thus:
-
-"Ah, Mr. McTaggart! Mr. McTaggart! I'm afraid I am interrupting you in
-your dressing. It is really very rude of me! I wish ... But the fact
-is ... It's rather important.... I want to put it to you as clearly as I
-can, and you'll understand me when I say that time presses after a
-fashion ... so to speak...."
-
-McTaggart was at the last stage when the male brushes the hair before he
-puts on the coat; all the rest of the detestable ritual was
-accomplished, including the sacrosanct tie. He stood gaping with his
-round face, a brush in either hand. Then he said:
-
-"Yes, certainly, sir, if you please." He rapidly brushed his disordered
-hair into a shape yet more disordered, struggled into his coat, and
-then, with an odd reminiscence of manner elsewhere, said, "Won't you sit
-down," feeling that he was a temporary host, as it were, a host within
-his host's house; a nest of Chinese boxes.
-
-"Thank you," said the Home Secretary. "Thank you. Thank you very much.
-Thank you." And he sank his long, lean and therefore gentlemanly body
-into the only armchair. He crossed his long, lean and therefore
-gentlemanly legs, poised his two hands together like a steep Norwegian
-roof, and said:
-
-"Mr. McTaggart, you will think it very odd of me, this invasion of
-your ... er, your, ah ... privacy? Yes, your privacy, er! If I may say so.
-But there is something very important I must say to you before we go
-down to dinner."
-
-"Yes, sir," said McTaggart, still expectant, as he slowly filled his
-pockets with the various things which journalists carry about with them,
-even among the great, and which destroy the shape of their clothes.
-
-"Mr. McTaggart ..." began the Home Secretary desperately, now leaning
-forward with his elbow on his knee and his forehead in his hand. "What I
-have to say is not very easy, but it is best to get these difficult
-things over at once. Don't you think so?"
-
-"Yes, certainly," said McTaggart.
-
-"I mean," said the Home Secretary, "it would be a great pity to waste a
-moment in beating about the bush. There's no sense in mere verbiage and
-slow approach to the essentials. Moreover, my time is short: I mean our
-time is short.... I mean there's not much time before dinner, and to
-tell the truth, that's why I came in here, so apparently suddenly....
-What was I saying?"
-
-Then, looking up and leaning back again in the chair: "But we need not
-go into all that. As I say, the great thing is to come to the point at
-once, isn't it?"
-
-McTaggart was tired of standing up. He sat down in another chair, and
-said "Yes," with a look of expectancy not quite unmixed with approaching
-boredom.
-
-"Well, Mr. McTaggart," went on the great statesman at last desperately,
-like a man who has determined to take a plunge. "You will excuse my
-being quite blunt and straightforward, won't you?"
-
-"Of course," said McTaggart.
-
-"I mean, we have already agreed that wasting time in preliminaries over
-a matter of this kind ..."
-
-"But a matter of _what_ kind?" said McTaggart, now roused--though his
-guilty soul told him well what was coming.
-
-"Well, the fact is, Mr. McTaggart," said the Home Secretary, suddenly
-uncoiling himself and straightening out the joints until he stood up
-above the younger man--he felt it gave him a kind of moral advantage,
-and he needed it--"the fact is, it's only fair to tell you ... only the
-difficulty is how to put it. But one must be straightforward, mustn't
-one?"
-
-And once more Mr. McTaggart said "Yes." But certain ancient traditions
-of the middle class were stirring in his blood and he very nearly added,
-"You doddering old fool."
-
-"Why then, Mr. McTaggart, to put it quite plainly, ... well, now,
-perhaps I ought to say this first. You know my cousin William? The
-Professor?"
-
-"Yes," said Mr. McTaggart, for the sixth time and with a touch of
-savagery in his voice, "I do. I have been in this house with him for
-over twenty-four hours."
-
-"He tells me, Mr. McTaggart," began the Home Secretary seriously and
-half an octave lower--"mind you, I don't say I believe it!"
-
-"No?" said McTaggart, "Well, go on."
-
-"He tells me he has proof, scientific proof-- Mind you, I don't say I
-believe him! I'm only saying what he said."
-
-"Yes," said McTaggart, for the seventh time, and with more patience.
-
-"Scientific proof, I say--not personal, you understand. No personal
-insinuation whatever--only _scientific_ proof that the emerald is or
-was--shall I say, has been, upon your--damn it all!--_person_."
-
-McTaggart started up. The issue was joined. He behaved very well.
-
-"Mr. de Bohun," he said, in a slow but frank and straightforward way,
-"you are not bound to believe me. But not only have I not the emerald,
-but I will not even take the trouble to swear I have not got it. _I have
-not got the Emerald_. Is that clear?"
-
-"Yes," said his unfortunate host. With a world of apology in his voice
-and stretching forth a deprecating hand! "Oh, yes, Mr. McTaggart! Yes,
-quite clear!"
-
-"Not only have I _not_ got the emerald," McTaggart went on with
-painfully clear diction, "but I know who has."
-
-"Oh! Lord," thought the Home Secretary, "another of 'em!" Then he said
-aloud: "Ah? Oh! most _interesting_! Who?"
-
-The other phrases he had heard during the last twenty-four hours crowded
-upon him, and he felt slightly faint.
-
-"Yes," said McTaggart, continuing in a virile intonation, "I know who
-has it. _Mr. Collop has it_!"
-
-"What?" shouted the Home Secretary, startled into a lucid interval of
-terseness. "Think what you are saying, young man! Collop! He wasn't in
-the house when it was lost! He's only just come."
-
-"That's true," hesitated the journalist, slowly turning over in his own
-mind how he should get out of this mess. "But I tell you what, I tell
-you he's got it.... It's only an instinct," he added with sudden
-humility. "I have these odd feelings sometimes--and they are usually
-right. My mother was a Highland woman, and I am the seventh son of a
-seventh son. I don't pretend to any proof. All I say is"--more
-firmly--"Mr. Collop has got the emerald." He gathered confidence. He
-struck his left open palm with his right fist and said: "Mr. de Bohun,
-Mr. Collop has got the emerald ... and as for me, you may go through my
-pockets, here and now, you may have me searched, here and now if you
-will, and all my clothes and all the drawers in the room and every
-corner in the room, and anything else you will. And what's more," he
-said, as he saw still further weakness in that weak old face, "I mean to
-stay in this house till the emerald appears. I owe that to my honour."
-
-"Oh, Mr. McTaggart," said the Home Secretary imploringly, and even as he
-spoke, he heard steps on the stairs and knew that they must be going
-down, "don't misunderstand me! I am not accusing you! I wouldn't accuse
-you for a moment! I am only saying ... I am only repeating to you what
-was told to me. Indeed, I should be treating you very ill had I not done
-so. Don't you agree?" and he actually seized the young man's hand.
-
-McTaggart accepted the gesture.
-
-"I am grateful, sir," he said simply. "I quite understand that a man in
-my position would be naturally suspected."
-
-
-[Illustration: _Mr. McTaggart explains to the Great Statesman
-his theory--or rather, certitude--upon the
-whereabouts of the Great Emerald._]
-
-
-"Don't say that, Mr. McTaggart"--all the gentleman in him arising to
-patronize poverty--"don't say that!"
-
-"I say I can understand that a man in my position should be suspected.
-But you will see; mark my words, you will see after no long space of
-time that I was right. I have an instinct in such things."
-
-"But damn it all! Mr. McTaggart! Collop? Damn it all, think!"
-
-"No," said Mr. McTaggart, moving towards the door, "I tell you I am
-sure, for I had it in a dream." And he and his bewildered host went
-downstairs.
-
-The Home Secretary, as he moved by the young man's side towards the big
-drawing-room where they were all to assemble, felt in his mind something
-like a kaleidoscope or like the music in the drunken scene of "The
-Master Singer," or like a Wiggle-Woggle or like the Witching Waves....
-Galton had seen Cousin William with the emerald. He had seen it with his
-own eyes--or else he lied. Cousin William had worked an infallible
-scientific test, and the Emerald had certainly been on McTaggart or else
-_he_ lied. And yet McTaggart had not got it--or else _he_ lied. The Home
-Secretary's powerful mind kept on returning to the central point, "How
-the hell could they _all_ have it, and least of all how could Collop
-have it? That _must_ be nonsense! ... Anyhow, Collop was there, that was
-a relief. It was his business to find out." Had Mr. de Bohun been in the
-habit of prayer he would have prayed fervently that Collop would track
-down the real man.
-
-But side by side with that relief rose an immense wave of apprehension,
-for he remembered what manner of deep-sea beast Collop was, and he
-sickened at the coming ordeal of the dinner.
-
-Nor was he wrong.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-In the hall the Devil and the Angel were having a most furious row.
-
-"What I want to bring home to you," said the Devil, pressing a red-hot
-forefinger upon a smoking palm, "is that you've intruded. You've done
-something I only had the right to do. It was my place to suggest
-McTaggart passing the Emerald on!"
-
-"It was nothing of the sort," said the Angel angrily. "You're like all
-devils; you won't listen to reason." Then he began to count off on the
-larger feathers of his wing. "Firstly, it's up to me to protect the
-young man. _Secondly_, it does no sort of harm if the 'tec finds that
-stone; why, it's all the better for him! It relieves a lot of honest and
-dishonest men from suspicion. Thirdly"-- Here he hesitated, as
-theologians often do upon thirdly, thinking what he could scrape up. But
-the Devil interrupted him.
-
-"Never mind your 'thirdly.' It's a dirty trick, slipping jewels into
-people's pockets! And dirty tricks are my stunts, not yours. Wasn't it
-me," he added with a rising grievance in his voice, "that made the old
-Don stick it into his pocket to begin with?"
-
-Then the Angel played the trick which I am sorry to say is always being
-played upon poor devils: he played the trick of the superior person.
-
-"Well," he said, "you may be right. I can't bother about it. I've got
-something else to do, and you can go back to hell."
-
-The Devil, stung beyond endurance, grappled and closed. They wrestled
-magnificently and it was fifty-fifty--as it always is with devils and
-angels in this world--when the Angel began to get the worst of it. The
-Devil, though shorter, was in far better training--humanity had seen to
-that--and he was pressing the Angel down, when the Angel, without
-scruple, began to increase his size and strength prodigiously, till he
-towered above the poor Devil like a giant and half broke his back.
-
-"You're cheating!" gasped the Devil. "You're working a miracle!"
-
-"Anything's fair with devils!" said that most unjust Angel.
-
-With which words he transferred himself into the sixth dimension, and
-the Devil, snubbed, angered, disappointed, impotent to revenge himself,
-burning to be eased by some ill deed, flew through the night to the
-Duchess's--it was only four miles--and inspired her with the odious
-thought that she should start yet another league for bothering the
-poor. After such beastly solace he went back for the moment to his own
-place.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER ELEVEN
-
-
-During dinner Mr. Collop was not silent. In vain did the Home Secretary
-indicate to his servant by a grimace that Mr. Collop's wine should be
-spared. Mr. Collop had all the assurance of his breeding, and when he
-wanted more wine he asked for it. It added, if that were possible, to
-his remarkable courage.
-
-That night was forever memorable to all those present for the
-instructive lecture which he delivered upon the habits of the people of
-Bogotar. They all inwardly suffered, or chuckled, as their temperaments
-demanded. Vic ignored Marjorie's eyes and shamefully stayed on at table
-as late as possible to carry the torture forward.
-
-The men did not stop long over their wine--for by that name I deign to
-call the beverage. The evening passed as on a rack for most, while Mr.
-Collop roared busily of Bogotar, with many a droll tale and many a
-gesture of large effect to underline it. Once more Vic stuck it out. She
-was in heaven. She egged the Startler on. She asked question after
-question on the famous oil-town of the Pearson Contracts. She even asked
-about the women's love affairs and the British prospectors'
-entanglements in that ill-known resort.
-
-The Master of the House had to force the situation.
-
-"I am going to ask you," said the Home Secretary, rather pompously, "to
-excuse me for the rest of the evening. I have to talk of very important
-matters with Mr. Collop. We shall be closeted together, I fear, till the
-small hours of the morning; and I beg that you will not think me
-discourteous."
-
-The only one of the clot to whom this public speech could possibly be
-addressed--all the rest were of the Family--was the lately unfortunate,
-but now radiant, McTaggart. But it is a politician's habit to be pompous
-whenever he gets the least excuse, and McTaggart was the excuse.
-
-"On official business connected with the ... ah, with the ... well ...
-it would not be to the public interest to say precisely."
-
-McTaggart looked very carefully from under his eyelashes at his nearest
-neighbour; Victoria Mosel darted a corner look at Galton, and Galton
-grimly smiled at Marjorie. Aunt Amelia did not hear properly. Only the
-Professor rose to the occasion, carolling:
-
-"Certainly, Humphrey, certainly. By all means, Humphrey, by all means."
-Then he squeezed his bony hands together, as though he had made a joke.
-
-The women dropped out of the room. Marjorie waited above with her door
-ajar till she should know the way was clear. Then she was to come down.
-
-"Shall we go into my study?" said the Home Secretary to his latest
-guest, when the women had gone.
-
-"Thank you, I would not give ye that trouble, I wouldn't," said Mr.
-Collop heartily. "I'd as soon talk 'ere. I think better like in large
-rooms." And as he said that, the three men went out--perforce. But
-Galton went not to bet but to the small smoking-room, and Victoria Mosel
-did the same. Collop filled himself a whiskey and soda. And without
-giving his employer time to open the ball, he entered on the plan
-engendered by his mighty brain.
-
-As he began to speak, Marjorie, following the sound of voices, slipped
-in. Mr. Collop stared at her, said "'Ullo?" but returned to his
-business.
-
-"First of all," he said, with a good gulp at the spirits, "ye want a
-plan made of this here West Room, as ye call it. Now mark me," he
-insisted, as the Home Secretary half opened his never-quite-shut mouth,
-"that plan'll 'ave to be in not less than five colours--and I'll tell
-you for why. In a case of this kind, you 'ave got to distinguish between
-materials. Remember what ye're looking for! Ye're looking for a object
-that might be called transparent in a manner o' speaking."
-
-"Mr. Collop," broke in the Home Secretary desperately, "how long will it
-take to make such a plan?"
-
-"If there's a harchitect 'andy, it needn't take three days. I've 'ad
-dozens. And next," said Mr. Collop, as loudly as before, "we 'ave to
-'ave measurements. We don't need regular surveys and we don't need to
-fill the garden wi' standards nor flags, but just measurements."
-
-"And how long will these take?" asked the Home Secretary, a fabulous sum
-mounting up before his eyes, and the impossibility of keeping his guests
-forever.
-
-"You will observe," said Mr. Collop, clearing his throat as for a
-speech, and addressing the lady--"you will observe, Miss, that what two
-men can do in one time, four men can do in arf the time, and eight
-men--why, eight men in a quarter of the time. And sixteen men," he
-continued, turning to her progenitor, "they'd take arf as much again.
-While they're making the plan in one room, if you 'ave enough men with
-chains in the grounds. Then there's the probing."
-
-"The what?" asked de Bohun.
-
-"The probing," answered his guest briefly. "That's a longer job,
-'specially as I noticed that there's stone floors about. Now 'ere's
-another matter. Look at this carpet. That's Aubusson, that is. Ah, I
-notice everything! Aubusson--that's what it is."
-
-"Mr. Collop," broke in Marjorie, in her suffering....
-
-"Now, Miss," said Mr. Collop with command, "don't you interrupt me. Let
-me put the necessaries before you. When you get all this done, sir, what
-are you to do, then? What are you to do next? Why, I'll tell you. You'll
-have all the shutters shut: I noticed you 'ad shutters: and those
-curtains pulled. Then you'll put what they call Marlin's New Irridiant
-up. That's the light we work by. And I'll tell you for why. You 'ave
-plain electrics in the room and they casts shadows. Don't they, Miss?"
-he appealed to his hostess. But before she could agree, he went on, like
-a mighty river in flood:
-
-"Now, casting shadows, you might miss a small object. That's how objects
-do get missed. You've got to think of these things. Artificial light
-that is distributed high and in the corners...."
-
-The Home Secretary could bear no more. "Yes, yes, yes," he said. "Where
-does one get the stuff?"
-
-"You'll see!" said Mr. Collop tartly, but with pardonable pride. "It's
-expensive, mind you," he added honestly. "But you got to do this job
-well or not at all."
-
-"But, Mr. Collop," said poor Marjorie, who could hardly bear another
-moment, "before all this expense couldn't we ..."
-
-"No, Miss," said the redoubtable Collop, shaking his head firmly. "Not
-to be thought on! I wouldn't undertake the responsibility, I wouldn't.
-And mind you, this ain't the first job of the sort I've tackled; not by
-thousands it ain't." (An exaggeration--due, I am afraid, to the
-whiskey.) "I wouldn't undertake the responsibility! I'll put no man
-under a cloud till I've made certain that it's not lost and hiding of
-its own. If it's not found, why then it'll be time to begin."
-
-It was Marjorie who found the decision to break off the battle. She got
-up suddenly.
-
-"Good night, Mr. Collop," she said. "I understand all about it now. We
-leave it to you."
-
-"Thanks, Miss," said Mr. Collop. "That's the right spirit! You leave it
-to the perfessional man, and you'll never regret it! Is it good night to
-you, sir?" he added in a voice as loud as ever, stretching out a firm
-hand and seizing that of the Home Secretary. He crushed it in an iron
-grip, so that the poor old gentleman winced with pain.
-
-"No, Mr. Collop! ... No, pray ... I must see you again in a moment,
-indeed I must ... but will you excuse me a moment?" He rose. "My
-daughter and I must have a private word together I think...."
-
-"It's my place to retire, my lord," said Mr. Collop all in the grand
-manner, weak in the distinctions. "I'll be in the library, and when you
-want me, why, come and cop me," and out he went.
-
-Without a moment's warning, Marjorie threw herself upon a sofa, crossed
-her arms upon the back of it, and began crying and sobbing in a storm.
-Her father was enormously distressed.
-
-"There, there, my dear," he said, "you are quite overwrought; you are
-tired. Get to bed. It can't be helped. We must go through with it."
-
-"Oh, papa," she sobbed, "it's intolerable. I can't help thinking! Just
-think what they'll all think!"
-
-"Yes, my dear; I was thinking that they would be thinking what you say
-they will be thinking. I'm afraid some of them must have been thinking
-already."
-
-"Perhaps," moaned poor Marjorie, half consoled by the relief of tears,
-"that b-b-b-loody b-b-beast will find the b-b-b-b-b-bloody thing after
-all."
-
-"Yes, my dear, yes. I hope he will. I'm sure he will. I am indeed!"
-
-She dried her eyes, sighed wearily, kissed her father good night, and
-went off to bed. It was nearly one o'clock. The poor man, as he heard
-her step go slowly up the great stairs, retained his daughter's
-despairing voice vividly in his ears. It reminded him of his
-wife's--only the vocabulary had somewhat changed since the days when
-Queen Victoria gave so admirable an example to the ladies of the land.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-He rose wearily, feeling fevered, and the worry on him increasingly
-intolerable. He stepped out into the hall; it was still fully lit. He
-rang, and when the servant came he asked him whether the offices were
-shut up. He was told that all had gone to bed but the man who had come
-at his summons. He bade him go in his turn, and put out all the lights.
-Then he himself switched out the bulbs in the hall and stared at the
-great window beside the door. It was singularly light outside, and the
-air was oppressive within. Cold as was the weather, he needed to feel
-the open. He thrust up the sash and drank in the rush of freezing air.
-
-The moon must have just risen, but a slight mist was ascending. Half an
-hour's light fall of snow had again marked off the lawn, but evidently
-hours before, since the paths were swept round the house and along up
-the avenue to the left. He shut down the sash again, a little refreshed,
-but still most ill at ease.
-
-With a sigh he turned towards the door of the library, within which
-room, alone, crouched the nightmare policeman. He forced himself in, and
-found the fellow there.
-
-"We must go into the West Room, Mr. Collop," he said. "My daughter has
-gone to bed; the house is all shut up, and we can discuss matters
-undisturbed. It is in the West Room that the thing happened. Come."
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER TWELVE
-
-
-In the West Room the Home Secretary opened fire on his guest.
-
-"All these schemes of yours, Mr. Collop," he said firmly, "you must
-discard. Time is essential. I ask you for some immediate action. This
-very night. Mr. Collop, I beg you to proceed."
-
-Mr. Collop needed no further invitation. Proceeding was his passion--I
-might almost say, his vice.
-
-"Got to be done express?" he asked. "Right-o! Now I'll tell ye my way. I
-divide it," he continued, roaring powerfully, "into three heads." Then,
-much more loudly, "Head number one."
-
-"Pray, pray, Mr. Collop," agonised the Home Secretary, with outstretched
-hands. "A little lower, please! We must not be overheard!"
-
-"I'll tell you my express method--since ye want it express," said Mr.
-Collop, speaking now no louder than your ordinary street orator,
-railways guard or the cabinet minister at election. "First, to establish
-what I call negative evidence. This term," he added sententiously, "I
-will make clear in a moment. Two"--he ticked them off on his podgy
-fingers--"what I call the search, comparable to the experiment conducted
-by men of science; with no hypothetic bless you, none at all! Just
-random like. Now then, in the midst of that we shall find a clue. What
-then? Then number three. The hypothetic is formed, modified, readjusted,
-co-ordinated, and leads infallibly to the inevitable conclusion."
-
-He coughed and spat in the fire. It was perhaps the thirty-seventh time
-in the last ten years that he had recited that piece. It had been
-written out for him by his nephew, who, he was proud to say, attended
-lectures at Manchester University, and he had it typewritten on a now
-rather dirty sheet of paper which he carried about with him all over
-England.
-
-"So what do we do now?" he continued heartily. "Why, we begin by
-establishing our negative evidence. Chrm! Chrm! And how do we do that?
-Why, we make sure that it is not in this room."
-
-"But how can one make sure of that?" said the Home Secretary, puzzled.
-
-"Why, plain and straightforward, sir. I 'ave brought down my men and my
-apparatus. We'll want the floor taken up. But that won't take long."
-
-"What?" said the Home Secretary, in alarm.
-
-"The floor, sir. The floor," said Mr. Collop magisterially. "And I say
-again, it won't take long. My men will prise it up before you can say
-'Sir Garnet'! And afore we do that another set of 'em will cut the
-furniture open to see if it's not in the cracks. Then I have got two
-with the new white light."
-
-"What?" said the Home Secretary again.
-
-"Why, this new dazzle I told you on," said Mr. Collop proudly.
-
-"But my dear sir, my dear sir, when you say your men, what do you mean?"
-
-"My men, Mr. Dee Boe Hun? Why, them men I ordered to come and 'elp me
-with this job. They're at the Lion now, waiting."
-
-And without asking his host's leave, he sat down squarely at the little
-table by the telephone and rang up the Lion. When he had given his
-message, he waited, head in air, hands clasped behind his back, a
-monument of Induction and Deduction.
-
-"Do I understand you to say," groaned Mr. de Bohun miserably, "that you
-mean to pull up the floor to-night?"
-
-"That's it," nodded Mr. Collop. "That's right. And open the furniture.
-Only just enough to see it's not in any of the cracks. Then," he added,
-looking critically at the fine Empire looking-glass upon the wall, "we
-must have things down, of course. You never know what may lie concealed
-lurking behind."
-
-"Really, Mr. Collop, really," groaned the Home Secretary, clasping and
-unclasping his hands, "I should think that ..."
-
-"Job must be done thorough," frowned Mr. Collop, wagging his head. "I'd
-never undertake the responsibility of searching individuals till I'd
-made sure 'twasn't in the room where 'twas lost."
-
-Even as he spoke there came an honest bang upon the outer door; shortly
-after another, still more honest, upon the door of the room, and the
-shuffling of many feet. Once more dispensing with the formality of
-consulting his host, the great Collop unbolted the door, and with a
-Napoleonic gesture introduced his merry men.
-
-They were a sight, they were! Six of them seemed to have been chosen
-rather for strength than for intellectual power. Two staggered under an
-enormous iron tripod with heaven knows what contraption poised on its
-summit, and a cylinder of gas. Three more bore with them sundry
-instruments. And of all this little army Mr. Collop, with fine decision,
-took immediate charge.
-
-"Now, then, lads!" he said; "hearty! The job's got to be done quick. All
-the rugs first, please. You two with the light, stand off! Stand on the
-window-sill. Then you won't be in the way." So they did, the marks of
-their heavy boots contrasting finely with the delicate woodwork of that
-Jane Austen room.
-
-"Rugs all rolled?" said Mr. Collop. "Yes! That's right! Shake 'em first,
-yes! That's right! Pile 'em up on that other window. Now then, tables
-out of it! Smart!"
-
-He opened the door, and behold! half a dozen willing pairs of hands
-pushed the small table, the middle table, the big desk, the little
-table, and the what-not, one after the other, vigorously into the
-hall--and the door was shut again.
-
-"Now, me boys! up with the Austrians!"
-
-His heart was in his work, and he inspired his command as all great
-leaders can. The sundry instruments so useful in work of this kind did
-their rapid work, lifting one large square after another, while the
-owner of the same danced with astonishing agility from spot to spot,
-remaining at last on one isolated island, which he was courteously
-bidden to abandon; taking refuge then upon the remaining low
-window-sill, while the five large lounge chairs in the room were laid
-carefully on their backs across the joists as the work proceeded.
-
-"That's the style!" said Mr. Collop, cheerfully. "Pile 'em up, lads!
-Pile 'em up!"
-
-And those sham-ancient polished parquet squares, their very base modern
-pitch pine reverse pitifully exposed--but, as Mr. Collop proudly pointed
-out, not one of them broken--were carefully laid against the wall,
-nicely missing the Cox and the Morland, but threatening in some degree,
-should they shift or slip, the large picture of Paulings in the early
-eighteenth century, which was the place's pride--and so it ought to be!
-Paulings belonged to gentlemen then. Two of them were to be seen riding
-horses which had done nothing but eat for years and yet walked on their
-hind legs. They were followed by four dogs....
-
-But to my tale....
-
-The two citizens with the tripod set it down between the old dusty
-joists upon which the floor boards had rested, and of a sudden a most
-abominable glare, like the white heat from molten iron, shot in a shaft
-upon a corner in the uncovered lower flooring. It was brilliant beyond
-the dreams of avarice. It revealed like remorse. Mr. Collop with an
-agility surprising in a man of his build, leaped down that little
-distance, and kept on shouting directions.
-
-"That's right now! Sweep it along! Sweep it along! Sweep it along!" The
-blinding shaft of light slowly traversed the edges of the shallow void
-from end to end, from left to right. "Now back again!" said Mr. Collop.
-"Now back again!"
-
-The intense beam travelled back in another band, slightly nearer, from
-right to left; and all the while the detective followed with keen eyes
-every patch which it successively illuminated.
-
-It was not a long process. Three or four minutes at the most. And while
-it continued, the Home Secretary, perched in security on his
-window-sill, was interested in spite of himself: new science is always a
-toy.... And that was how they searched for the jewels in the flooring of
-the West Room.
-
-Mr. Collop's hand went up, and the blinding shaft of light disappeared
-as suddenly as it had come.
-
-"That'll do, lads!" he said. "We know one thing now, any'ow. It didn't
-get down through the flooring; that's certain. Now then, if you please,
-we'll open the furniture."
-
-Mr. de Bohun did not please.
-
-"Surely, surely it can be spared," he begged. "It's Victorian."
-
-"Now, sir," protested Collop firmly, "I'll be responsible for nothing
-unless I'm pursuing my own method."
-
-The Home Secretary sighed and surrendered. With deft fingers two of the
-three extras began picking out the stitching of the chairs after every
-loose cushion had been lifted, shaken, and put aside.
-
-It was beautiful to see such expert work; at least, it was beautiful in
-Mr. Collop's eyes; but the Home Secretary almost shed tears. Those
-chairs were his father's! The Great Peal, the immortal Benjamin Israel,
-had graced them. And again--who was going to pay for all this? All the
-edges of the leather stood out; the secret places were revealed. There
-was no emerald.
-
-Mr. Collop beamed with satisfaction.
-
-"That, sir," he said triumphantly, "is the end of what we've called our
-_Negative_ process. Hey! Number One!" And he ticked off on his thumb, as
-he had done before.
-
-"We are now assured," he boomed, tucking his thumbs into the armholes of
-his waistcoat, "that wherever the Em'rald may be, it's not in this room.
-Stay a moment! I'd forgotten! The pictures down, please!"
-
-Again the owner gave tongue. "Do you _really_ think, Mr. Collop ..."
-
-"Yes, I do," answered Mr. Collop with decision. "Come. Smartly, lads!"
-
-No harm was done to the pictures; they knew their work. The Cox was
-lifted down and now leaned at a secure angle. The Morland turned its
-back canvas to the ceiling, pushed on a capsized armchair. I wish I
-could say as much for the Napoleonic looking-glass.
-
-It was just too high for one of the men's hands; he slipped, and down it
-came: an omen of ill-fortune, smashed upon the floor--round gilded
-frame, Eagle of the Legions, and all.
-
-"Well, well!" said Mr. Collop cheerfully. "No battle without losses, ye
-know--hey?"
-
-"I really think...." urged the Home Secretary, with something as near
-anger as his temperament allowed.
-
-"Never you fuss, sir," thrust in Mr. Collop genially. "It's all right
-now. We've proved our point. That's the 'sential. I say again, the
-Negative part is accomplished," and he smiled upon his chief with all
-the satisfaction of genius. "The em'rald's not in this room where it was
-lost. That's a cert. What's the conclusion? Why, sir, the conclusion is
-that it's _somewhere else_. And when I say somewhere else, what do I
-mean?"
-
-"You mean...." began the Home Secretary nervously, stepping down
-gingerly from his perch and trying to make his way across the
-joists--"you mean that you must now consider which, if any, of my
-guests ..."
-
-Again Mr. Collop's hand went up.
-
-"Now, sir; pardon me! That's not the scientific spirit. I shall send
-these men back to the Lion, with your leave"--it was the first time he
-had asked it, and it was granted with enthusiasm--"and then I shall ask
-you, sir, to give me details, and I shall make notes. After that we'll
-sleep on it.... Before you go, men, get the Austrians down again. Hammer
-the clamps down: hammer 'em down good and strong at the corners; whang
-'em in! You know how these Austrians buckle! We'll 'ave everything right
-again in a jiffy"--to his host--"and then we'll sleep sound on it. Like
-'Ogs."
-
-With clamouring echo which shook those ancient walls, square after
-square of Austrian antique was thrown back into its place; with
-Cyclopean noise the clamps were driven into their former holes, and the
-shattering bangs of the heavy iron hammers sounded like thunder through
-the silent night. Twenty yards away, in the small smoking-room, Victoria
-Mosel and Tommy Galton had remained to exchange a few insults after the
-others had gone off to bed. They started at the unusual din; she very
-slightly, he with a jerk.
-
-"What are they doing?" said he suspiciously.
-
-"Making your scaffold," shot Vic decidedly: then, more doubtfully. "It's
-a damned shame! For I don't suppose you did take it after all, Tommy?
-Eh?"
-
-"If I thought there was room on you for that bloody stone," began Tommy
-viciously....
-
-"Oh, search me!" said Vic, without sincerity.
-
-"No, but, Vic, what _are_ they doing?"
-
-"Shifting the scenery, Tommy. Summoning the dead. Christ knows!" She
-yawned, to the peril of her agglutinative cigarette, but it held nobly.
-"It can't go on forever. I'm going to bed. By the time they've stopped
-I'll be asleep. So long! I'll come and look you up at Wormwood Scrubbs,
-never fear!" And the Virgin departed.
-
-"Not while you're still in Holloway," fired the puller of horses after
-her as he got up in his turn, and went out to get his candle for bed.
-
-A few moments later, when the Master of the House peeped out into the
-hall, he found all dark and deserted. He was pleased to think that his
-guests had suspected nothing.
-
-When everything was accomplished, and the little army of Scotland Yard
-men had fallen back upon its billets at the Lion (Humphrey de Bohun
-himself let them out at the front door, on tiptoe and with agonised
-whispers entreating caution. He himself had locked and bolted these
-doors); when, I say, all this affair was over Mr. Collop, first making
-quite sure that his seat was secure, took out a notebook, shot a blot of
-ink on to the re-established polar bear, and gave tongue.
-
-"Now, sir, fire away!"
-
-"What do you want me to do?" said de Bohun doubtfully.
-
-"Why, just give me details of what those coves 've been doing of," said
-Mr. Collop, relapsing into the vernacular.
-
-"You mean my guests?" said the Home Secretary rather stiffly.
-
-"That's right," said Mr. Collop cheerfully, "the toffs."
-
-"Well, really.... I haven't played the spy on my guests, Mr. Collop."
-
-"Oh, I'm looking after that," said Mr. Collop with another of his
-healthy winks. "Now, just you tell me all they did. I've got my first
-notes here. These three men what I've just met at dinner--and one of
-them's young McTaggart--I know 'im--they went down on their knees and
-they looked for it in that rug. Well and good. Then they got up, and
-they all swore they hadn't got it."
-
-"McTaggart was the last," said de Bohun, defending the interests of the
-family.
-
-"Ar? ... I didn't know that!" mused the modern Napoleon deeply. And he
-noted it down. "Well, what next?"
-
-"Why, to tell you the truth--the full truth, and I beg you to keep it
-private--my cousin, Lord Galton, has told me that he has seen the
-emerald--seen it with his own eyes--in the Professor's hands."
-
-"Ar!" said Mr. Collop again. "That's important, that is!" and down it
-went. "Saw it with 'is own eyes: where and 'ow?"
-
-"Wait a moment, Mr. Collop, wait a moment. Not long after, the Professor
-told me he had infallible scientific proof that it was in McTaggart's
-pocket. He showed me the very instrument wherewith he had been able to
-discover its presence through the thickness of the coat."
-
-"That's important too!" murmured Mr. Collop, intelligently noting it
-down. "An' what does McTaggart say?"
-
-"McTaggart ..." The Home Secretary was about to blurt out the truth and
-tell him what McTaggart had singularly announced. But he checked
-himself. To insult his last remaining prop would be fatal. "Oh,
-McTaggart?" he evaded. "Why, McTaggart said he hadn't got it."
-
-"Ar! just so. 'E did, did 'e? Now, that's _very_ important," affirmed
-Mr. Collop, and he noted that down also.
-
-"Now here," he continued, slipping an elastic band over the notebook and
-putting it back into his pocket--"here, Mr. Dee Boe Hun, we 'ave got
-three 'ypothetics." He again began ticking them off on the thumb and
-fingers of the left hand. "First 'ypothetic: Lord Galton stole the
-em'rald. Second 'ypothetic: Old Giglamps stole the em'rald ...
-Tortoise-shell specs, I mean: the schoolmaster," and he winked again.
-"Third 'ypothetic: McTaggart stole the em'rald. Now these three
-'ypothetics," he went on, "lead to three totally different conclusions.
-Each of 'em has its conjunctions and conjugations. Mr. Dee Boe Hun," he
-concluded, rising and assuming hieratic tones, "I shall not sleep
-to-night." (There is many a true word spoken in lying.) "I shall bend
-all the energies of me mind in the ensuing hours of darkness, and on the
-morrow you shall 'ave my conclusions.... I'll trouble you, sir, to leave
-me a syphon and a drop o' something. Helps me to concentrate."
-
-"I'm afraid," said the Home Secretary, "the servants will have cleared
-the drinks away from the library, and they have all gone to bed." Then,
-terrified lest the lack of sustenance should imperil victory, he added
-hurriedly: "Don't move! Pray don't move! I think I know where to find
-it."
-
-He was away some time, going on tiptoe in the offices. When he returned
-it was with an unopened bottle of whiskey, a syphon and a glass. "I'm
-afraid I have no corkscrew," he apologised.
-
-"I 'ave," said the imperturbable Collop, who had sat royally in his
-chair to receive this tribute. He pulled out the cork, smelt the brand,
-approved of it, poured himself out a dope and a most miserable little
-splash from the syphon.
-
-"Here's luck!" he said. "Cheerio! Now you leave me _to_ it!"
-
-And de Bohun left him to it, ardently praying with what was left of his
-childhood's faith to a God in whom he still vaguely believed, that never
-again in the remaining years of his declining life should he be
-compelled to harbour under the roof of Paulings any unit from the mighty
-Secret Service which he commanded, and inwardly deciding that he would
-relinquish that command for India, Paris, South Africa--nay, New
-Zealand--anything rather than bear such a burden again.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THIRTEEN
-
-
-It is a fascinating occupation to watch a powerful human brain at work
-upon some great problems--the face alive with mind, the tension of the
-muscles, the frowning eyes; and to feel behind it all that driving,
-compelling power of the intelligence wherein man is God-like.
-
-But no one would have seen this sight in the case of Mr. Collop had he
-remained. What he would have seen was a hand pouring out whiskey for
-itself over and over again and adding smaller and smaller splashes of
-soda; and at last an obese body attempting sleep in the lounge chair
-which it filled.
-
-He had comfortably made up his mind. He was going to stay in the West
-Room and sleep as he could, leaving his bed untouched by way of giving
-the impression of a long night's intellectual wrestling. Next morning he
-would take every one of the three in turn, tell each separately that he
-was from the Yard, tax them brutally with the theft, and terrify and
-bully the culprit, whichever of the three it might turn out to be, into
-confession. So decided, he chose a good chair among the mutilated
-victims, wheeled it close to the electric switches by the fire, settled
-himself down, turned off the light and shut his eyes for sleep.
-
-Now it is paradoxically true of the substantial more than it is of the
-insufficient, that they must shift and turn to find that posture in
-which their persons can best repose, especially in chairs. Nor could Mr.
-Collop at once and easily fall into the arms of Morpheus. He shifted and
-turned, and wedged in and re-wedged in and out, and moved again and
-replaced those various muscles and anatomical names of which escape
-me--or rather I never knew them, though the things themselves I know
-well enough--when all of a sudden he gave a loud and piercing cry and
-leapt up broad awake. Something had stuck into him--something abominably
-sharp. His reaction had been instantaneous. He struck a match. He
-switched on the light.
-
-He groped in the offending tail-coat pocket and--not the first to do
-so!--stared at what he found in his hand--the emerald! Its brooch
-setting was unclasped, the wicked steel pin of it was pointing at a
-challenging angle in the air. He glared viciously at the offending point
-which had wounded his innocent person; then his eyebrows relaxed into a
-stupefied stare at the stone itself.
-
-"Great God!" he said three times, "Great God! Great God!"
-
-
-[Illustration: _Birds of the Empire.
-I.--The Parrot Attaboy, in action._]
-
-
-There is a current impression, taken I think from the great spate of
-detective stories upon which we are all fed, that your professional
-detective has no brains whatsoever and would be no match for the sloth
-of the Andes, or the sluggish waddle-duck of Australian and Imperial
-fame. It is an error. They are men as we are and their intelligences,
-such as they are, work more or less under the spur of prospective
-advantage. Within three minutes Mr. Collop had grasped the fact that
-fame, security, promotion, a permanent, good, appreciated, livelihood
-lay in his outstretched palm. Had he not found the emerald? _How_ he had
-found it, why it was there at all, he knew not. But he had quickly seen
-how its possession might be used.
-
-"There you are, you great blighter," he murmured, addressing the
-charming gem. "Damn your green eyes! I'll make you work, I will!
-William, my boy, here's something that's got to be thought out!"
-
-For the first time for many months, Mr. Collop thought, really thought;
-"concentrated" as he would have put it.
-
-He would have done it better perhaps if he had not been so full of
-whiskey. But shock is a powerful stimulus. And he was already
-three-quarters sober and coming to conclusions.
-
-For a long time the effect of this unusual exercise was a blank and a
-confusion of mind; then there broke in upon the silence a sound which
-startled him horribly. A voice, somewhat muffled, uncertain, had spoken
-in that silence where none but him could be. He had heard it! Or was he
-mad?
-
-"Attaboy!"
-
-Was it a divine command? Had some dear wraith of the dead--his sainted
-mother perhaps, who could tell--come to comfort him in this dread hour
-of his fate? All was dead still. His hand trembled a little as he pulled
-out his watch. It was a quarter past two, and the silence was enormous.
-
-Most awfully it came again.
-
-"Attaboy!"
-
-He hardly dared to look around. Look round he did and there he saw what
-he had not before grasped--that the dome of black cloth, suspended,
-covered a cage; thence it was that once again, but this time in a
-failing, drowsy manner, came the unearthly summons:
-
-"Attaboy!"
-
-A revelation burst upon his mind. It was a revelation indeed! The whole
-scheme blazed suddenly before him.
-
-He walked boldly to the cage, took off the cover and saw what may very
-properly be called the blinking bird, for the sudden light had dazzled
-it.
-
-"Attaboy!" croaked the parrot again in a rather peevish fashion.
-
-"I'll Attaboy you!" hissed Mr. Collop through his teeth.
-
-He made his preparations to capture that innocent accomplice; his scheme
-was now fully developed.
-
-He had heard that this kind of fowl was of a very fierce and dangerous
-sort; but the plan must be pursued at all risks. He took his
-handkerchief from his pocket--a large bandanna of the noblest--and with
-a decision worthy of a better cause, whipped it round the gaudy coloured
-neck after the fashion of a cravat. A muffled protest proceeded from
-that insulted organ.
-
-"You wait!" muttered Mr. Collop vindictively, as though the poor bird
-were his enemy. He looked about him. There was a large square of black
-cloth on his host's writing-table. With that he made a second deadener,
-hoodlike, entirely covering the animal's head, and tied it securely on;
-all that now penetrated from within was a faint, varying sound which one
-had to be in the closest neighbourhood to hear. Next he cut off a piece
-of tape from the coil neatly disposed by the side of the official
-papers, and bound the fierce talons securely. Then with infinite
-precaution he slipped off the chain from its ring, and held the exotic
-biped firmly in both hands.
-
-The clipped wings fluttered a little, but they were contained by strong
-hands. Mr. Collop made for the window. He laid his living parcel down,
-where it struggled in vain; opened the shutters with infinite
-precautions for avoiding sound--above, Aunt Amelia, happily deaf, was
-deep in slumber; pulled up the sash so slowly that it seemed an age;
-went back on tiptoe, extinguished the light and--a stroke of
-genius--went noisily upstairs, bearing the parrot, to give full warning
-to anyone who might be still awake that he had gone to bed, after all.
-He tumbled his bed about. He returned.
-
-He came down gingerly in shoeless feet, and stepped out into the night.
-
-The stillness was awful, but all propitious to his plan. The thin snow
-lay even and spotless on the grass on either side of the avenue. The
-nearer trees were clear in the half light. The gravel walk, though well
-swept and clear of snow, leaving no trace of his passage, was bitterly
-cold to his thinly clad feet--for his socks were of silk, I am glad to
-say.
-
-There was a wintry mist and beyond it the white suffused radiance of the
-moon.
-
-He looked up cautiously. There was not a chink of light in any window.
-All slept, and the Holy One presided in the heavens above, beyond the
-fog in her blurred aureole of light. It was the hour for great deeds.
-And a great deed was done.
-
-Mr. Collop, with infinite precautions, lifted up his captive and planted
-its two talons firmly upon the snow to the side of the swept alleyway
-and pointing at a small, most aged and somewhat stunted oak about thirty
-yards ahead of him on the edge of the swept path. He himself kept
-crouching on the swept gravel and holding poor Attaboy to the side above
-the snow. Then, still creeping noiselessly along, he planted the bird's
-claws down again about six inches further. And so on, hop by hop.
-
-It was merciful in Providence to have spared that tropical exile any too
-sensitive nerves in its claws; but it protested. It thought the march an
-indignity, and it was abominably cold. The parrot squirmed. The parrot
-resisted. But the parrot was for it.
-
-Six inches by six inches the double imprint of the claws appeared in a
-lengthening chain upon the thin snow until they had come to within ten
-feet of the oak. Then did Mr. Collop most cautiously rise from his stoop
-and, taking the bird under his left arm and standing upon tiptoe,
-stretch his right hand up to a small hollow in the stump of a branch
-that had decayed long ago: he felt its concavity. It would do. He
-carefully felt for the emerald in (now) his waistcoat pocket. It was
-safe. He turned back swiftly towards the great dark house in the
-moonlight.
-
-The thing was accomplished.
-
-As stealthily as he had come, but far more rapidly, thanking Heaven that
-still no light showed through any cranny of the mansion, he loped back,
-shut the window down again with infinite precautions and even then
-dreaded a slight sound, put his dumb confederate back, released it of
-its bandages, slipped on the cover of the cage, and crept up to bed.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-So true it is that once in every man's life comes an opportunity and
-that in every man some talent, however unsuspected, lurks.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER FOURTEEN
-
-
-Sunday morning had dawned brilliant, had grown in splendour. The mist
-had gone. A low but clear and even glorious sun flashed heaven athwart
-the snowy levels and transfigured the winter sky.
-
-The Home Secretary came down to breakfast late, and no wonder! Marjorie
-came down to breakfast late, and no wonder! Tommy and Vic came down
-late, and no wonder! The Professor and Aunt Amelia had met at the table
-before anyone else was about. If she expected a flirtation, she was
-disappointed. If he expected a quiet reading of the Sunday newspaper, he
-was more bitterly disappointed still. The advent of the late comers was
-a relief.
-
-Last of all drifted in, heavy-eyed but big with mastery achieved, the
-Collop.
-
-At that breakfast very little was said. McTaggart was getting used to
-the rich. He lit a pipe. But he stood mum.
-
-Victoria Mosel and Tom Galton met in Marking Room.
-
-"Vic," said Tommy Galton, "who do you think has got it?" He lounged back
-in the absurdly low, fat chair, letting himself go all loose, as is the
-habit of your hard-riding man--especially those who pull horses--and
-looking down at her calves after the admirable breeding of our day.
-
-"You haven't, anyhow, Tommy!" lisped Victoria Mosel, in spite of the
-hanging cigarette. "I've got that much!"
-
-"Thank God for that! Spread it!" said Galton.
-
-"Thank me, too," said Vic.
-
-"All right. Thank _you_, too. Damn you! Who's got it?"
-
-Victoria Mosel turned round, spat the fragment of the cigarette into the
-fire, and lit another one.
-
-"I'm thinking," she said.
-
-"The natural thing," said Galton, shutting his eyes, "would be that
-putrid fellah McTaggart: the journalist fellah!"
-
-"_He_ hasn't got it," said Vic decidedly. "And he's not so putrid,
-either. Nothin' like as putrid as you are!"
-
-"That's neither here nor there. He's putrid, all right. Shall I tell you
-who's got it?"
-
-"You don't know," said Vic. "Lie away."
-
-"Old Footle's got it," said Tommy, with decision. "Cousin Bill. It may
-be sewn into his sagging skin: but he's got it."
-
-Victoria Mosel looked at him curiously through her half-closed
-buttonhole eyes.
-
-"Go on!" she said.
-
-"I saw him take it," said Galton. "I saw him with my own eyes."
-
-"And you told the chief, I suppose?" said Vic, with a sneer.
-
-"Yes, I told him," answered Tommy determinedly.
-
-"More fool you!" said Vic, sighing. "He hasn't. Old Bill hasn't got it,
-Tommy.... I've been watching you all since Collop came under this
-accursed roof. The Don's not oppressed. It's not with _him_. _He_ hasn't
-got it."
-
-"Well, then, who _has_, Vic? Damn it, who _has_?" savagely.
-
-Then did Victoria Mosel open her eyes wide, as wide as cigar-shaped eyes
-can open, and look at the questioner; next she folded her lids into a
-most natural slit of repose, and turned her gaze to the ceiling, saying:
-
-"Look here, Tommy, I've told you already that _you_ haven't got it, and
-that ought to be enough for you. _You_ ought to be grateful. In fact,
-you _were_ grateful just now. Only gratitude's short-lived."
-
-"I believe you've got the stinking brooch, Vic," said her cousin (by
-marriage) surlily.
-
-"You said that before--and I said, search me! I wish to Christ I had,"
-said Vic. "I'd hand it on through Baba to the van Burens next time
-Archie went to Amsterdam. They'd know what to do with it! I should get
-it back in four pieces. They'd keep the fifth--but I'd net a bellyful!"
-
-The young man got up from his lounge and stood surlily with his hands in
-his pockets.
-
-"It's got to be found!" he said.
-
-"It'll be found all right," assured Vic deliberately. "And who'll be
-relieved then, my boy?" And she dug a lean elbow with maidenly modesty
-under his fifth rib.
-
-"Go to hell!" shouted the goaded Tommy. He intended to convey, after his
-fashion, that the conversation was closed.
-
-He sauntered out of the room and Victoria Mosel, who always liked a warm
-chair in winter, sank back into the seat he had abandoned. She lit her
-third cigarette, the fifteenth of that morning, and shut her eyes to
-think over the matter fully. She had been up late the night before and
-Sunday morning is a good time for repose. She fell into a lounging
-little self-sufficient sleep, and snored in a gentle fashion, not
-unmusical ... dear Victoria!
-
-And that was the end of the judgment passed by one select--and
-small--section of the governing classes upon a problem so closely
-concerning them all.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-But the moment of revelation had come. Mr. Collop dared not stay, lest
-sure steps should obliterate the unwilling traces of Attaboy across the
-snow.
-
-"None of 'em going to church, I hopes?" said he to his host after
-breakfast.
-
-"Surely! Surely some one," was all the Victorian could say.
-
-"Well," brutally, "none of 'em can. They've all got to be here together.
-We want every witness, sir; every one.... _I've found the emerald_!"
-
-"What? Eh! What!" staggered Humphrey de Bohun.
-
-"_I've found the emerald_!" repeated the policeman enormously. "...
-Leastways, I've found where it is."
-
-"What am I to do?" begged the statesman, all of a flutter. "What are
-your plans? It's urgent! Innocent men must be cleared!"
-
-"Orl in good time!" pronounced the majestic Collop. "Orl in good time!
-First tell 'em there's no church this morning. Go and tell 'em that.
-Soak into 'em all. I've got to 'ave my witnesses--and you'll be glad,
-too, when it's over."
-
-In his heart the Victorian relic, bleeding though he was from such a
-manner, felt that he would.... Anything to get it over!
-
-"I've got a word to say to you, Sir Humphrey"--it was no longer "My
-lord"--"afore we summons 'em, and then you shall see what you shall see.
-Meanwhile, you go and tell 'em to stand by. I'll bide 'ere."
-
-And he bided, while the far wealthier and therefore greater man trotted
-round on his errand.
-
-"I'm sorry," he said to each couple, as he ferreted it out, "but I must
-ask you not to go out. _The emerald's found_; at least ... you'll see.
-Only wait where you are just a moment. I'll send for you all."
-
-He repeated that phrase three times and fixed them to their stations;
-then he ran back to the deliverer.
-
-He found the deliverer at the door of the West Room.
-
-"Come in here, Mr. Dee Boe Hun," he said. "Look round, Sir
-Humphrey--what do you perceive?"
-
-"Nothing," said the Home Secretary. Then he found the manhood to add,
-"Hurry up!"
-
-"Ar! 'Urry up, is it?" said the masterful policeman deliberately. "Now
-there's a little point to be settled first." He compressed his lips, as
-though for a reprimand to an inferior. "The first thing that's got to be
-proved--and that's simple--is, was there a winder left open here the
-night o' the great disaster?"
-
-"You mean on Friday night? The day before yesterday? The night the jewel
-was dropped?"
-
-"Yep!" answered Mr. Collop. "I do."
-
-"A window?" repeated the statesman, remembering the shutters, the
-curtains, the fire, all the scene.
-
-"A winder was left open," insisted bovinely Mr. Collop. "I'll lay to
-that. And if you'll settle that p'int you'll see 'ow the rest'll follow.
-I tell you I 'ave me clue; it's more than a clue; it's a find. Ye'll
-see!"
-
-The mechanism of a great house (delightful thought!) involves a
-hierarchy. The Home Secretary rang, and asked for the butler. An
-underling sought Mr. George Whaley, and Mr. George Whaley arrived. There
-was that in his eye which might have alarmed or warned the Head of the
-de Bohuns; but the Head of the de Bohuns was passing weary in the head
-just now, and he noted nothing.
-
-"Oh!" he said, "I wanted you, Whaley ... to ask you--er--whether ...
-yes, to ask you who it is who does the room here in the early morning?
-Who, for instance, would be in the room here, say, well, before anybody
-else?"
-
-George Whaley coughed discreetly.
-
-"By rights, sir," he said, "it ought to be Annie. But it is possible, of
-course, that the Boy----"
-
-"Ah! yes," said the Home Secretary. "The Boy. Of course!" He had vaguely
-heard that the Boy was the servant of the servants of the gods. "Well
-then, you think it would be the Boy? Send me the Boy!"
-
-"Very good, sir," said George Whaley. But as there had been that in his
-eyes, so there was now that in his more manly gesture, as he turned
-round to pass majestically through the door, which might have warned
-once more, his master that he, George Whaley, had acquired new powers.
-There was a sense of approaching equality with the Great in George
-Whaley's waddle as he went through the door. From the mere dependent he
-was attaining the higher and political rank of blackmailer. But all
-these indications fell without effect upon the jaded de Bohun.
-
-The Boy appeared. He stood at attention, after a fashion he had seen at
-the pictures. He stared with gooseberry eyes at his employer. The head
-of the de Bohuns was kind to him.
-
-"Look here, boy," he said. "Look here. I've got to ask you something.
-Did you open a window in this room, or leave it open, or find it open,
-yesterday, Saturday morning--eh? Were you here before anybody else--eh?
-You understand what I mean. Did you open a window, or any window, or
-find one open--eh?"
-
-The boy Ethelbert, standing as stiff as a poker and on the verge of
-tears, gave tongue.
-
-"I ain't done nuthin'!" he said. "Don't yer say I took that em'ral'! I
-never did! I never set eyes on it. Don't you say that. It ain't true. I
-knows no more about it than the child unborn, what's in the Good Book."
-
-The Head of the House was annoyed.
-
-"Who's saying you did, you little fool? All I want to know is, whether
-the window was open?"
-
-"I never touched it!" complained the youth more loudly still, and
-stiffer than ever, but with tears already gathering in his eyes. "I
-never did! So 'elp me Gawd! I couldn't tell it from a chunk o' cheese. I
-don't know what it looks like. I wish I may die. I wish I may drop down
-dead 'ere an' now!"
-
-Collop, the policeman, took charge.
-
-"Look 'ere, me lad," he said in the fine bullying voice of his noble
-trade, "none o' that! Did yer leave the window open, or 'ave yer seen it
-open?"
-
-"Oo're you?" perked Ethelbert, stunned to boldness by terror, though
-still at attention. "Mr. de Bones 'e's my master; not you!" Then turning
-to that master, he continued, "I tell you, sir, straight honest from the
-shoulder, I'm a British lad, I am, so help me Gawd as made me own sweet
-self and little apples, I swear I never seen the thing."
-
-"Look here, child," said Mr. de Bohun in a final sort of fashion, "was
-there a window open or was there not?"
-
-"No, sir, there was nawt."
-
-"Why the hell couldn't you say that before?" muttered the politician.
-"You're sure there was not?" he added. "Was there a catch undone?"
-
-"Never mind about the catch," broke in Collop. "Time'll show that
-doesn't matter."
-
-"There wasn't a window open, sir, at all, till I opened one, sir," said
-the Boy, "to let in Gawd's fresh air--which is orders."
-
-"Oh, you _did_ open one then?" said his master.
-
-"Yes, sir!" said Ethelbert, still at attention.
-
-"Ah! _Now_ we're getting on!" said Collop. "That's what I always said. A
-winder was opened! Eh? A winder was opened! Now you mark me," he went
-on, turning to his host and tapping the palm of his round left hand with
-the stubby forefinger of his right. "That's another clue. A winder was
-open."
-
-"Don't you dare say I touched it!" from the distraught Ethelbert.
-
-"You shut yer mouth, boy," answered Collop without courtesy. "Tell him
-to shut his mouth, sir--tell him plain. He's distracting me."
-
-"But there's some on us," went on Ethelbert desperately, refusing to
-shut that mouth, "as might speak if we knew...."
-
-"Ah, now," said de Bohun eagerly. "Do you hear that, Mr. Collop? Do you
-hear that? The Boy may reveal ..."
-
-Collop stepped in between. "Pay no attention, Mr. Dee Boe Hun. I got my
-clue, and we mustn't 'ave no cross scents. You take me?"
-
-"Well," said his host, legitimately nettled, "I don't see any harm in
-getting whatever evidence we can."
-
-"Ah, and you're right there," said young Ethelbert, still at attention.
-"And what's that sime hevidence, eh? That's what I say, sir.
-Hevidence--as clear as daylight, from them as knows. There's some as
-could speak if they would, and some as knows what others doesn't know.
-It isn't always them as needs things most as pinches 'em. And maybe,
-times, it's them as needs 'em least as pinches 'em!" He lowered his
-voice and mysteriously added, "The 'ighest!"
-
-"Look here, Boy," said de Bohun, fatigued with such recitals: "if you've
-got anything to say, say it. Mr. Collop and I are pressed."
-
-"What I've got to say," answered Ethelbert, with a solemnity beyond his
-years, "is plain enough, I tike it. 'Oo's to blame? Mum's the word. But
-there's some in this house that's 'igher than others. And 'oo's the
-'ighest? A lord, I tike it?"
-
-"Do you mean Lord Galton, child?" said the peer's cousin, sharply. "Are
-you saying Lord Galton took the Emerald?"
-
-"I've named no names," said Ethelbert, trembling between fear and
-importance. "But this I do say, and it is ..."
-
-"Have you any evidence against Lord Galton?"
-
-"Now, Mr. Dee Boe Hun," urged Mr. Collop with decisive hands. "Now,
-please don't let's 'ave a cross scent."
-
-The Home Secretary waved him aside. The family was concerned.
-
-"What have you got against--or about--Lord Galton? Say what you have to
-say, and let's have it over."
-
-"What I've got to say," said the Boy, "is what is but my plain duty to
-say. I names no names. I asks no questions and I don't get told no
-lies!"
-
-"Upon my word!" cried his master angrily, almost moved to action. The
-boy Ethelbert at the end of so long a tension gave a loud cry of terror
-and suddenly whipped round and fled through the open door.
-
-They were disconcerted.
-
-"Well, Mr. Collop," said Mr. de Bohun on the child's vanishing, "that's
-another complication. It's Lord Galton now!" and he sank into a chair.
-Things were becoming too much for him.
-
-"Don't you believe 'im," said Mr. Collop firmly. "What I say is, no
-cross scents. What do 'ounds do when they find a cross scent?"
-
-Mr. de Bohun would have been only too happy to tell him, but he had
-never hunted.
-
-"Why, they miss the right one. That's wot they do. And do they catch the
-fox? No. A thousand times, no! Now," said he, again tapping that palm of
-his with that forefinger of his. "You mark! Forget all about Lord
-Galton. It's servant's romancing. I told you I already 'ad one clue. And
-'ere I've gone and got _another_ clue! An' they both fit in.... And
-now," he added peculiarly, gazing out of the window as though he would
-admire the wintry morning with its clear scintillating skies, "I'd have
-you note another clue. Look there," he said--and with the gesture of
-Hannibal pointing out the plains of Italy, Mr. Collop extended his left
-arm and directed his somewhat too thick forefinger towards the avenue
-and the sheets of snow on either side of the great gravel walk. "What
-have we there?" he said.
-
-De Bohun, weary after his sleepless night, had to get up again from his
-chair and look where he was bidden. "I ... I don't see anything, Mr.
-Collop," he said.
-
-"No," said Mr. Collop indulgently. "You wouldn't. It wants a trained
-eye. Now, you'll excuse me, sir, but if you 'ad been in the Yard as I
-'ave, and as long as I 'ave, you'd see something. It's only a fine
-indication, like, but your mind would leap to it. At least mine 'as. Do
-you notice any marks on that snow?"
-
-Mr. de Bohun honestly said he could not--nor could any man have seen any
-from where he stood.
-
-"I certainly see no footprints," he said.
-
-"Footprints o' wot?" answered Mr. Collop. "Footprints o' 'uman beings?
-Man and woman? Leastways boots? Nah!" and he shook his head. "You
-want ... you want your eyes better skinned than that in our trade, if
-you'll excuse me saying it. Shall I _tell_ you what's there? I can see
-it."
-
-His host was justly irritated. "Well, I can't," he exploded. "What _is_
-there?"
-
-Mr. Collop leant over, made a shell of his hand and whispered in a voice
-to wake the dead:
-
-"Footprints of a fowl! Leastways," he added hurriedly, "not a domestic
-fowl, I mean. But a bird. A bird's been there!" he added, nodding
-solemnly.
-
-"Well, what of it?" said the last of the de Bohuns, still more
-irritated.
-
-"Ah! You'll see!" said Mr. Collop, in a tone of great equality.
-
-He stepped back, pulled his waistcoat down over his paunch, passed his
-hand cavalierly over his abominable moustache, and gave an order--as
-though he were master--for he now felt himself securely in the saddle.
-
-"Summon 'em here," he said, with a large wave of his right hand, "summon
-'em all. It's accomplished!"
-
-"Summon who?"
-
-"Me feller guests," said Mr. Collop. "They shall witness the
-_daynoumong_ and their souls shall be eased."
-
-"Mr. Collop," said the harassed Home Secretary, "what need is there for
-this?"
-
-"Witnesses! Mr. Dee Boe Hun!" royally. "Record! You'll be astonished."
-
-"Very well, Mr. Collop, if you require them."
-
-He made a gesture as though again to ring; then thought better of it and
-went out himself, looking at his watch as he moved to the door. He had
-seen no one go out. It was not yet half past ten o'clock: no one would
-yet have started for church. He remembered with pleasure that for once
-in her life Victoria Mosel had come to breakfast. He ferreted them all
-out, McTaggart cowering as usual--and very sad--in the old smoking-room;
-Galton and Vic, whom he surprised in the very act of repeating the word
-"putrid," he found in the library, already stale with smoke; Aunt Amelia
-he dragged out, almost by force, from the corner of the little
-morning-room where she was sitting, half somnolent, like the good mutton
-she was, her knitting laid aside on the Holy Day and wondering by the
-clock whether it was time for her to put on her bonnet (help!) for
-church. The Professor he had the good luck to catch at the very last
-moment as he was making for the glass doors of the hall, all ready
-muffled up for a walk. As for Marjorie, he had to go and find her in her
-room where she was desperately locked in, miserable.
-
-"Mr. Collop has got something to tell us, my dear. Won't you come down?"
-
-"Blast him!" came in tearful, broken tones from within.
-
-"No, my dear, but please do come down. He really wants us all."
-
-"I don't believe it's any use--no use at all, the rotter!" broke out
-that tearful voice.
-
-"Marjorie, dear, please come."
-
-"Very well"--with a grunt from within--"but it's no use!"
-
-So the shepherd got his flock together. He was in a strange mood that
-the occasion was ceremonial, and he felt a fool. He almost counted heads
-as he roped in his little herd. They were all there. They filtered into
-the West Room, expecting little, and annoyed in their various ways;
-Marjorie hideous with recent tears, Aunt Amelia almost baa-a-ing, the
-Professor inept, McTaggart desperately out of place, the puller of
-horses more sullen than ever, and ah! the triumphant Victoria Mosel,
-cool as the woodland goddess of old songs--but smoking.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Birds of the Empire.
-II.--The Parrot Attaboy, out of action._]
-
-
-They stood huddled in the West Room under that Sunday morning light,
-looking on the ravaged furniture, the staring pink circle where the now
-demolished glass had saved the paper from fading, the Parrot's cage--but
-gazing above all on the immortal Collop and awaiting his great news.
-
-In that solemn and expectant silence--the chimes for church were
-ringing--the parrot sneezed three times, with a grievance, and very
-hoarsely muttered "Attaboy!" and shivered. It had a cold in the head.
-
-Nor did Lord Galton wince--though that parrot had suddenly revealed to
-him a world of things about his cousin's conversations when his back was
-turned.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER FIFTEEN
-
-
-Mr. Collop was standing dramatically in the midst of that large
-apartment, a squat tower of triumphant modesty and unassailable success.
-
-"I asked His Honour, Mr. Dee Boe Hun, to bring you all in," he said, as
-though they were a school, "so's ye might see how things like this are
-_done_. It's the end of what's been troubling you all; what's been
-biting you! Oh! I know your distress," he added kindly, fixing Galton
-with his eye first, then the Professor. "But first and to start with, I
-'ave a confession to make, I 'ave. Ye thought me His Majesty's
-representative in Bogotar, just returned." He smiled genially. "Ar! ye
-thought that, and nat'rally enough. Well, now, I'm free to tell ye the
-truth. An' in _my_ trade," he went on, crossing his arms boldly, "that's
-not too often, Gawd helping us! Now 'oo am I? I'm from the Yard. In
-plain English, I'm what they call a detective. Now don't start!" he
-added, releasing his left hand and holding it up. Nor had any of them
-started, least of all Aunt Amelia, who had not clearly heard the last
-words. "There's no 'arm done, there's none o' you to blame. There's none
-o' you suspect. You'll none o' you have the darbies on," he added, with
-kindly jocularity. "Oo's done it?"
-
-"I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure ..." began the Professor with ready
-tongue.
-
-"You'll excuse _me_, Professor," said Mr. Collop with dignity, "but I
-must continue. Ah! 'oo's done it, I arsk? The question we 'ave all on us
-been asking. And now"--with mysterious dignity--"ye shall see. If any
-of ye is for wrapping up before ye go out of doors say so. It's only a
-little turn."
-
-No one was for wrapping up before going out of doors. They were getting
-intrigued.
-
-"Foller me," said Mr. Collop after the fashion of the great leaders of
-mankind. He threw open the window towards the avenue and heavily
-straddled himself out. The Professor's long legs followed; young Lord
-Galton, a good deal bored, with his hands in his pockets, took it at a
-stride; Marjorie's short skirts negotiated it; McTaggart tried to jump
-it, hit his head on the sash, rubbed it, and then more sensibly walked
-across. As for Vic, she put a bony hand upon the sill and vaulted
-lightly over. Poor Aunt Amelia stood looking after them in vain, like
-the women of Ithaca when first the king sailed away to the gathering of
-the chiefs and of whom it is written:
-
-
- "This is the hall where all the women spinning
- Sang of the Kings who sailed away to Troy."
-
-
-She could not vault; she could not even stride. Lastly, the Home
-Secretary himself hooked a lean shank over and stood with the shivering
-group. Outside they all came on to the swept gravel of the avenue, with
-its row of bare trees and its border of broad snow on either side. Mr.
-Collop with a gesture still more majestic than any he had yet assumed,
-pointed with iron hand and arm at the light snow which covered the grass
-upon the right. There, sure enough, was the mark of a bird's claw. And
-side by side with it, the other triple mark of the bird's other claw.
-
-"A bird 'ops," pontificated Mr. Collop, significantly. "'E don't
-run--'cept ostriches and such like. 'E 'ops. Foller me!"
-
-His left hand slightly clenched, with his right he pointed down
-continuously to the border of the snow, whence, at short intervals,
-those two triple marks appeared and reappeared.
-
-"Mark you," said Mr. Collop, facing the group--the now half-frozen
-group. "I said, a bird 'ops. What 'opped 'ere? A bird!"
-
-They approached the fatal tree.
-
-"And 'ere," said Mr. Collop in the tone of a guide conducting a party of
-tourists, "our marks are lost. And for why? 'E takes the air! Whither
-will 'e take the air? Put ye'self in his place. Whither would a bird
-take the air from hence, seeing what fatal burden 'e bore in 'is beak?"
-He half waved, half pointed, with his left hand at the hollow-branched
-stump just higher than their heads and some ten feet away. "Foller me,"
-he said again.
-
-They followed him--but not to the point of going on the snow, which Mr.
-Collop did with great courage and resolution. He stood on tiptoe by the
-trunk and stretched his clenched left hand upward, groped with it hidden
-to the wrist in the hollow of the rotten branch, lifted it out again
-high between them and the frosty January sky. There held between the
-thumb and forefinger, unmistakable, recovered, was the Emerald.
-
-"What did I tell yer?" he waved triumphantly in that keen air, "Brains,
-gentlemen ... ladies _and_ gentlemen, I mean.... Brains! Induction." And
-he calmly slipped the gem into his pocket.
-
-Had they been in a warm room they would have applauded: it was so
-exactly like the best tricks. But they were cold. They huddled back. It
-was only twenty or thirty yards; they would be in the warmth again in a
-moment.
-
-I know very well that there ought to have been a shock of surprise. A
-cheer. Excitement. What you will. But, Lord! it was so cold!
-
-One by one they clambered, straddled, strode, vaulted, crawled and
-shambled over the low window ledge and back into the room. Mr. Collop
-came last, and slammed the window down behind him: and Aunt Amelia
-welcomed them as might the old nurse of Ulysses when he returned at last
-from so much wandering. As the warm air revived them they began to feel
-him, very rightly, a hero.
-
-"Now," said he, "shall I show ye all 'ow these things are done? Step by
-step, unbeknownst to others? Ah! It's worth knowing! Look 'ere," and he
-began, their interest rising as their blood began to move again: "You
-mayn't see it, but I see it, here on this parky floor." He stooped down
-and tapped it with his finger. "Little marks. Little marks."
-
-There were no little marks--but no matter. He had done his best to
-suggest them. The Professor greatly helped them by his folly.
-
-"Yes! I see! Oh! Yes! Most interesting! I see them now!"
-
-"And where does they lead? Why, to the winder. Then what did I say to
-myself? I ses, 'A bird! A daw!' And mark you, gentlemen--ladies and
-gentlemen, I mean--I didn't come to that blindly, either. For you'll
-pardon me, but I know what you'd all said."
-
-The guests looked--or at least, most of them did--at their host. But he
-was modestly regarding the carpet.
-
-"I know as 'ow you 'ad, all or most of you, felt suspected like and
-might well enough think you could each o' ye be certain which o' ye it
-was. And ye were wrong," he continued, wagging his head solemnly. "Orl
-wrong! It was but an innocent bird. Or a thievish bird. Any'ow--a bird.
-That's what it was--a bird. When I 'eard of your confusion from our good
-host here"--and again Mr. de Bohun looked anyhow--"I says to meself,
-'They're innocent, they are!' That was my first clue. Orl innocent," he
-emphasized cheerily, nodding in a nice heartening way to McTaggart, the
-Professor and young Galton, the last of whom said, almost audibly, to
-Vic, "The stinker!" and to whom Vic whispered back, "Well, he found it,
-anyhow!"
-
-"Orl innocent," went on Mr. Collop. "Orl as white as the driven snow.
-And 'oo set things right and proved you so? Why, yours truly.... First,
-arter I'd thought 'ard orl night, I looks by the first white o' morning
-at the parky--and sure enough I sees them faint prints on the wax, like:
-an' them near the winder. What are the birds as thieves? Why, daws! Now,
-ladies and gentlemen, daws 'as claws; talons, ye may call 'em, of a
-'ighly partic'lar kind. It's our business in my trade to know orl we
-can--and I can tell a daw's claws from any other claws, or paws ... any
-other in the wide world.
-
-"So wot does I do? In this same early morning, afore any one of ye were
-up--at any rate, afore any of yer had showed themselves, I was out
-trailing. Sure enough, there I found where the bird had gone, for I
-marked his prints on the snow. When I found where the bird 'ad 'opped
-to, I follered to where he'd sat on the air. When I found where he'd
-taken the air, what does I do? Did I say to myself, ''E 'as flown far,
-far away; give up the search, William Collop? You are proven right, but
-the hem'rald will not be seen again by mortal eye.' Did I despair thus?
-No, not I! I thinks to myself, knowing the habits of birds better than
-most--we 'ave to know such things in our trade--he 'as put it near by,
-so's to be able to come and gloat on it. They love to go and gloat on
-what they 'ave taken, do daws. Then I noted that rotten stump o' branch
-just convenient to the bird where he took the air, and I says
-'Yureeker,' which is, being interpreted, 'Found.' But I didn't touch
-that bole; no, I trusted to my induction. I was as sure it was there as
-though I'd seen it, and I wanted to lead up to it step by step so's ye
-might be witness to the discovery. Weren't I right?
-
-"That's why I asked you all to be brought 'ere. That's why I took you
-all out and made the thing clear to you before your own eyes; William
-Collop said he'd find the hem'rald where his induction told him it would
-be. And there he found it!"
-
-His face was irradiated with no common glory.
-
-"An' now," he said, at the end of this harangue, and plunging his hand
-into his coat pocket to fish out the gem, "now I restore it--'Ullo!" he
-frowned; the groping of his hand in his pocket looked like some small
-animal fighting in a bag. "'Ullo!" he repeated and still he groped.
-"'Ullo--'ullo! Wot's this!" His face grew black. He eyed successively
-with some disfavour the Professor, McTaggart and Galton. "You were all
-close together," he said suspiciously, "as we came through that winder!"
-Then suddenly, "Ah! 'ere it is! Smother me if it 'adn't gone through a
-hole in the lining. That's my missus, that is. She's that careless." And
-turning the receptacle inside out he gingerly picked the jewel from the
-tear between the sateen, with threads still attached to its setting.
-
-"There now! Wot was I saying? I restore it to its rightful owner!" And
-with a bow, unlike that of Lord Chesterfield's dancing master, he handed
-it to Marjorie.
-
-"Oh, thank you, Mr. Collop, thank you!" said Marjorie. "Thank you a
-thousand times. I don't know how to thank you!"
-
-"It's really very remarkable, Mr. Collop, very remarkable indeed. Very
-remarkable," said the Home Secretary. He went so far as to wring his
-subordinate by the hand. "We are infinitely obliged to you."
-
-The guilty three were less enthusiastic; but they murmured as though
-they would be polite--though Galton's murmur, overheard by Vic, was, "I
-believe he pinched it himself!" And Vic answered in a second whisper,
-"Fat-head!"--a chosen epithet delivered with such real contempt in the
-slit of a dark eye as made the poor horse-puller wince.
-
-Then Aunt Amelia bleated:
-
-"I don't quite understand. _Who_ does Mr. Collop say stole the emerald?"
-
-"Amelia! Amelia!" protested her brother severely.
-
-"But I want to know," began poor Aunt Amelia pathetically. "I didn't
-hear properly. I want to know who it is has been found to have stolen
-the ..."
-
-Her brother interrupted desperately.
-
-"I'm so sorry," he cried, turning to the others, but directing his
-remarks particularly and courteously to McTaggart, as the stranger. "You
-must excuse my sister. She does not always hear."
-
-"I must thank you myself, personally and warmly, Mr. Collop," said
-Marjorie, the ancient courtesy of the Bohuns strong in her veins. "We'd
-all got lousy with worry, and you've hit the cocoanut."
-
-"Thank you, Miss, I'm sure," said Mr. Collop, bowing again in the manner
-aforesaid.
-
-And they all drew apart to various rooms, but Victoria Mosel, lingering
-for a moment, whispered in Mr. Collop's ear, "I saw it in your hand
-_before_ the tree!" The detective started. "For Gawd's sake!" he pleaded
-under his breath.
-
-"All right, I don't give people away." She nodded reassuringly and
-slipped away.... Hence for so many years the devoted service of Mr.
-Collop whenever Victoria cared to summon him.
-
-The Home Secretary had detained McTaggart, catching his arm as he turned
-to go, and had said, "Wait a moment, Mr. McTaggart, wait a moment. Mr.
-Collop, I think it is only just to say in your presence that I had
-repeated to this young gentleman--not my suspicions--they were not my
-suspicions--but what I had been told were the suspicions of others."
-
-Mr. Collop bowed again in the aforesaid manner.
-
-"Mr. McTaggart," the Home Secretary continued, "I'm going to ask Mr.
-Collop to let us have a few words together alone. Mr. Collop, where may
-I see you in five minutes?"
-
-"Where you will," said Mr. Collop with chivalry. "I'll be looking at the
-old paintings in the 'all. The ancestors, I've seen them in the ball
-room already," he added, nor was there any irony in his innocent soul.
-
-When he had shut the door behind him, the poor old Home Secretary put an
-almost fatherly hand on McTaggart's shoulder.
-
-"My dear young sir," he said, "what can I do? How can I apologise? It is
-not enough to ask you to forgive me. May I ask to communicate with you
-when we reach town?"
-
-The mind of McTaggart was not alert, but even he foresaw the
-possibilities. Politicians have not very great power nowadays save in
-patronage; that they still do retain; of public money there are some odd
-millions every year at the disposal of the politicians. It is only fair
-to say that most of them are content with moderate pickings for
-themselves and their connections.
-
-Therefore did McTaggart answer with a natural prescience of coming
-advantage. "It is very good of you, sir. May I call at the Home Office?"
-
-"Yes, yes. Shall we say Thursday at noon?" De Bohun marked it in a
-little pocket book and then joined Collop in the hall, as McTaggart
-walked off.
-
-"Mr. Collop," he said, "won't you come back and talk to me a moment in
-private?"
-
-They returned together. And exactly the same scene was rehearsed, except
-that he dared not put a hand on the shoulder of such a being as Collop.
-
-"Mr. Collop," he said, "you know that the Department of which I am the
-head is proud of you."
-
-"Thank you, sir," said Mr. Collop sedately. "Thank you very much." He
-then added: "I have only done my duty...." But I am glad to say that he
-did not add "as a man is bound to do," for if he had done that de Bohun,
-whose nerves were already on edge, might have had a fit. However, he
-meant something of that kind. So let it be credited to him.
-
-"Mr. Collop," went on the Home Secretary, "when I go to the office
-to-morrow, Monday, I hope you will allow me to make a particular point
-of seeing you. Men of your kind must not be wasted."
-
-"Thank you, sir," said Collop again, in a tone which showed a full sense
-of his worth. "I shall always be at your orders."
-
-And so, you will say, the great thing ended.
-
-Wrong again.
-
-De Bohun had sunk back into his chair, now at last at rest. There were
-still inexplicable things drifting through his mind. He had vague
-memories of Galton accusing his cousin the Professor, and the Professor
-accusing McTaggart, and McTaggart spotting Collop; of himself accusing
-McTaggart; of the boy Ethelbert accusing Galton. He even had confused
-recollections of their actually swearing to things they had seen which
-they could not have seen. But he sighed with deep content at the
-solution of it all, and he thought of his daughter's relief. He decided
-to worry himself with contradictions no more. The emerald had been
-found; a bird had taken it, and no one was to blame. That man Collop had
-genius.... Marjorie would be in a better temper now. He shut his tired
-eyes. He was on the point of falling into a short sleep after so much
-strain when there was a knock at the door, and he saw as he opened his
-eyes again, not too pleased at being wakened, the august, the discreet,
-the considerable figure of George Whaley.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER SIXTEEN
-
-
-"I beg your pardon, sir! May I have the honour of a moment's confidential
-word with you?"
-
-The refined, the courteous phrase, was followed by a discreet cough. The
-cough was a trifle mechanical, the words a little too rapidly spoken, as
-is (alas!) the common fate of words learned by heart for a set piece,
-whether by front benchers or perjuring policemen. What followed was
-marred by the same slight defect, but it was at least clear. It rattled
-out--to quote a noble simile from the _Wallet of Kai Lung_--"like a
-stream of pearls dropped into a bowl of jade."
-
-"There has come to my knowledge sir which would grieve my 'eart to
-distraction and breaking were it not overcome by the more powerful
-emotion of gratitude for so many happy years passed under this 'ere roof
-at Paulings I mean this roof at Paulings and formerly when we had a town
-house if I may make so bold in one hundred and twelve Curzon Street
-Mayfair moved by this my 'eart would not let me keep silent. Oh! sir. I
-know the dread secret and if I come to speak of it it is from loyal
-affection and no other cause and here and now I put at your service as
-in duty bound all that has come" ... here Mr. Whaley suddenly clasped a
-fat right hand against his chest: He ought to have done it at the word
-"heart," but the brakes had slipped and he had run past the station ...
-"all that has come to the knowledge of these poor humble ears of mine
-which would rather have been closed in death than have suffered the
-agony of them fatal news but told it shall not be to other human soul
-nor yet only to you for the respect I bear to that 'igh name of Deeboon
-which saving your honour sir ..."
-
-Humphrey de Bohun put his lean hands on his lean knees, sat up, and
-stared at this high-geared human gramophone on speed.
-
-"What on earth ..." he began. "Look here, Whaley, have you been
-drinking? ... Now, mark me, Whaley!" Humphrey de Bohun could speak with
-astonishing decision when he felt quite secure that the person spoken to
-was unable to answer back. "I've always made one absolute rule in this
-house. Any servant of mine who is found the worse for liquor--I don't
-care _where_," and he swept his feeble head down to the southwest, "I
-don't care _how_"--he swept it again--"I don't ... damn it, I don't even
-care on _what_! leaves me there and then!" He leaned back again,
-somewhat exhausted.
-
-"You wound me, sir," said George Whaley with dignity. "Ah, sir! you
-wound me! Indeed you do!"
-
-"Wound your what?" said the Home Secretary, without sufficient
-consideration.
-
-"My honour, sir," said George Whaley. "And a loyal heart."
-
-This time he remembered the connection of the word "heart" with the
-appropriate gesture, and he planked his hand on his merrythought with
-the noise of a distant 9.2.
-
-The Home Secretary remembered the lessons of his youth, the high
-traditions of the de Bohuns.
-
-"I owe you an apology, Whaley," he said, in the appropriate
-faded-earnest manner. "But the truth is, I can't pretend to follow what
-you were saying. I don't suggest that you spoke too quickly.... I was in
-a reverie when you came in. The fault is mine. Proceed."
-
-And in his turn George Whaley proceeded--but the chain was broken; he
-was thrown back upon impromptu too; and a native terseness, not to say
-inhibition of speech, returned to him.
-
-"Well, sir," and he coughed, "I'm afraid it's rather a delicate matter,"
-and he looked at the nails of his fingers. "Perhaps I ought to plunge
-_in medias res_." He sighed. "I've 'eard it's usually the wiser plan in
-cases like these."
-
-He stood for some fifteen seconds, his bold head with its fringe of grey
-hair slightly on one side, and gazing at the exalted culprit with
-infinite compassion. Then did George Whaley begin to shake that head,
-and there escaped him words unusual to his daily life, but native to his
-reading of fiction and to his experience on the stage.
-
-"Ah me! Ah me!" he said.
-
-"Look here, Whaley," said his master smartly. "What's the matter? Are
-you ill? Are you mad? Have you"--in a softer voice--"have you perhaps
-suffered some sudden bereavement?"
-
-"Only the bereavement of a loyal heart deceived, bewildered," moaned
-George Whaley, quoting textually from _The Waifs of the Whirlwind_. He
-linked his hands before his ample waistcoat and hung his saddened head.
-
-
-[Illustration: _The Home Secretary's Butler taking the
-liberty to observe: "Thou art
-the man."_]
-
-
-"Upon my word!" cried Humphrey de Bohun, moved to unexpected energy by
-an intolerable boredom, "this kind of thing's got to stop. Speak out,
-man, and don't make a fool of yourself!" He pulled out his watch. "I've
-not got all the time there is! Hurry up, now! Surely you can speak
-plainly!"
-
-"I can," said George Whaley, in tones of gloom, and moved by a mighty
-resolution. He was standing upright now; he fixed his employer with a
-steady glance, and each hand was half clenched at his side. "The
-emerald, sir!"
-
-And he waited for his effect.
-
-"Oh, damn the emerald!" shouted Humphrey de Bohun. "If you think this is
-the time, after all these two days ..."
-
-"It is the time," said George Whaley firmly, with a reminiscence of the
-worthy mother who had brought him up in the Countess of Huntingdon's
-connection and under all the discipline of the Jacobean Scriptures.
-"Yea, now is the acceptable time."
-
-"By God!" shouted the now inflamed minister, "this has got to stop! I'll
-have you certified! I'll ... I'll ..."
-
-But he got the thing full in the face. In a key nearly an octave lower
-than that he had been using for the purposes of the great interview,
-George Whaley stretched out a rigid solemn arm towards his master and
-spoke the words of doom.
-
-"I know all... Thou art the man! It is you, sir, that have on you the
-lost emerald!"
-
-Let me not do Humphrey de Bohun injustice. He had never yet in his life
-taken an initiative. He had never tackled any one of the human species.
-But there is a god latent in us all, and his name is Pan.
-
-"The emerald!" he shrieked. "Blackmail, eh, you damned lousy son of
-a ----!" He sprang at the astonished servitor, seized him round the
-neck--a dangerous gambit between elderly men, for it leads to strokes on
-both sides--shook him madly from side to side, then dug his right hand
-into his collar behind, swerved him round, and gave him one of those
-enormous kicks which form epochs in the history of Britain. Savagely did
-the unrestrained elder statesman, all the repressed manhood of half a
-century bursting forth, plant his foot upon what should properly be
-called the person of his unfortunate dependant and with a second gesture
-sent him sprawling through the open door into the hall.
-
-"The emerald!" he kept on shouting, as George Whaley, groaning, pulled
-himself up miserably, like a wounded sea lion. "When the hell am I to
-hear the last of the emerald ... you and your emerald! ... all of you
-and your emeralds! ... I wish to God! ..." A blasphemy was almost on his
-lips; he had almost said that he wished the emerald had been strangled
-at birth, and by such a phrase would he have forfeited the luck of the
-Boneses.
-
-"Get out!" he continued, in a somewhat milder because exhausted tone, as
-the ill-treated Good Samaritan hobbled towards the door which led to the
-offices, rubbing the affected portions of his frame. "Out! Out! Out!
-Never let me see your face again!"
-
-And they parted to meet no more. The conclusion of their mutual
-relations was concluded by correspondence.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-It is not with impunity that men between fifty and sixty, especially if
-they have lived under constant self-repression--which doesn't apply to
-colonels--let their angry passions rise. The Home Secretary was badly
-blown. He felt groggy. His exertion was already beginning to make him a
-little stiff. He halted towards the dining-room and groped for a pint of
-champagne which he knew to stand by. He pulled the cork with his last
-strength. He took a mighty draught. He felt better. He took another.
-Then he saw the world sanely, and he saw it whole--such is the power of
-the god. There was hardly a drain left. He glanced over his shoulder,
-found himself alone, put the neck of the bottle to his lips and sucked
-it down.
-
-"Ah!" said the arbiter of Wormwood Scrubbs and Lord of Pentonville.
-"That's better."
-
-He felt almost genial--normal, anyhow, at last. Even a trifle
-super-normal. With sprightlier step he regained that comfortable chair
-wherein he had been relaxing his overstrained mind when George Whaley
-had so imprudently intruded.
-
-It was not once in a blue moon that Humphrey de Bohun thought tobacco a
-boon, but the occasion called for it. For the matter of that, it was not
-once in a blue moon that he drank more than half a glass of wine at a
-sitting--let alone of a Sunday morning during church time--and bubbling
-wine in plenty leads to smoking: hence the fortunes made by Greeks and
-Egyptians in their sales of hay cigarettes to the young bloods. Humphrey
-de Bohun groped in his daughter's open box for a cigarette, tapped it,
-with a surprisingly modern gesture, on his thumbnail, and as he lit it
-sank back into the chair he had left and wondered whether indeed he had
-reached repose.
-
-Was there anyone left, he thought drowsily, who could come with yet
-another story of the blasted gem? He was already half asleep, but there
-passed before his drooping eyes what seemed a regiment: Galton had been
-sure of it--he had seen it, seen it on Bill; Bill had been sure of
-it--he had tested it, tested it on McTaggart; McTaggart had been sure of
-it--he had got it by second sight, and was absolutely certain of Collop;
-and Collop--oh well! God bless Collop! For after all he had _produced_
-it--snatched from the talons of a fowl. The elderly gentleman's head
-drooped and nodded; the cigarette fell from his lax fingers; it set fire
-to the Aubusson carpet, which smouldered in faint wreaths, but did no
-harm, and soon went out. Thus did the adventure of the Emerald of
-Catherine the Great end, as all things end, in smoke.
-
- * * * * * * *
-
-Far, far, in the less pretentious but roomy apartments of the East Wing,
-George Whaley, suffering untold things, sought for and found the Boy,
-the culprit, Ethelbert.
-
-They met in the passage that leads from the servants' hall to the Yard;
-but when I say met, I rather mean that their visages encountered the one
-the other at the turn of a corner separated by a space of some five
-yards.
-
-The countenance of George Whaley at that moment was not one to inspire
-confidence in the young. There was blood on his cheek-bone. His collar
-was torn, and all adrift upon the starboard side; his tie was under his
-ear; there was a gaping tear in his coat.
-
-"Ow! You young dose of poison!" bawled the injured man, as he lunged
-forward upon his prey, and with a loud cry Ethelbert fled. He fled
-through the open door into the coal yard, George Whaley limping after.
-There stood against the wall of the yard, leaning to its summit, a crazy
-old ladder. The light boy Ethelbert nipped up it, and at its foot stood
-the unhappy and ponderous victim of his misleading confidences, shaking
-an impotent fist.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Dialogue between the Boy Ethelbert and his
-fallen superior._]
-
-
-Security lent courage to the youth.
-
-"You look hot," he said kindly.
-
-"You come down!" hissed Whaley, clenching his teeth, "and I'll flay you
-alive--slowly--inch by inch!"
-
-"Sounds good," grinned Ethelbert; with thoughtful prevision he kicked
-the ladder down. Its rotten wood smashed into a dozen pieces as it fell,
-and the youth was delighted to note that a flying fragment had caught
-his superior a fine smack on the side of the jaw.
-
-For to him that hath, more shall be added.
-
-Ethelbert feared not the future; his judgment told him, not insecurely,
-that the butler's powers were at an end.
-
-"Been havin' a scrap?" continued Ethelbert, by way of making
-conversation. "'Ow's the other man?"
-
-George Whaley's cup was full. "Come down," he groaned stupidly. "Come
-down!"
-
-"Me come down?" answered his former subaltern with an air. "Why, what
-can you be thinking of? It's only just over church time yet. You can
-hear the sweet bells ringing--'ark!" and he lifted an ecstatic
-forefinger with heavenward-lifted eyes.
-
-The butler put his hand upon the old red brick wall. His adventures were
-beginning to tell upon him. He felt sick.
-
-"It's all along o' you!" he said thickly, spat, to see whether his lungs
-were injured, was pleased to find they were not; then, still suffering,
-repeated, "It's all along o' you! What," he added in a higher key of
-tragic indignation, "what the burning hell did yer mean by telling me
-the boss had pinched the emerald?"
-
-"_I_ tell you the boss had pinched the emerald?" sneered Ethelbert from
-his high place. "Oh, chase me, Ananias!"
-
-"Yes, yer did!" came again from the uplifted purple face. "Yer told me
-with yer own lips that you knew yerself it was in the 'ands of the
-'ighest."
-
-"I never! You dare say I did!" cried the indignant whelp. "Liar! What I
-may have _thought_ was that his lordship ..."
-
-"His lordship?" groaned the suffering man, a light breaking in upon him.
-
-"Yes, mubbe! Don't you dare go to say as I said so. Otherwise I'll have
-the lor on yer! So mind your fat feet! I'll be treading on 'em. I never
-said nuffing. I didn't. 'Sides which, it's all one now. The emerald's
-been found."
-
-"Found?" gasped Whaley with a stare.
-
-"Yes, found," nodded Ethelbert, from his dominion of vantage loftily.
-
-"Then ..." groaned his unfortunate elder, "I'm done!"
-
-"That's true, anyways! Congrats!"
-
-Whaley had already picked up half a brick, but his tormenter had seen
-the gesture, and had dropped on the far side of the wall to the high
-bank below, and was off to rejoin his quarters. He knew that the mighty
-had fallen and would trouble him no more.
-
-So ends the saga.
-
-
-
-
-TALE-PIECE
-
-
-It was the custom of our grandfathers and grandmothers--when they had
-any of them been fool enough to write a novel--to wind it up with a
-description of what the various characters in the beastly thing were
-doing at the moment when the book appeared--that is, supposedly, in a
-future some little while after the closing of the tale.
-
-Those of you who still read the novels of my own youth--and I for one
-read no others--will remember that they are invariably concerned with a
-well-to-do young woman of exquisite beauty who marries a manly young
-fellow of her own status, after various ups and downs. Then the book
-goes on to tell you that they have twenty-six boys and girls with long
-curly hair, all gold. And then the band plays.
-
-It is not easy for me to give you an appendix of this kind, because I
-have always thought it prudent to throw my own novels into the future,
-lest I should be sent to gaol for insulting the rich. Moreover, even if
-I did describe the final fate of my characters, I cannot make it a very
-pleasant one without treason to the realities of human life and the
-flattering of fools: and rather than flatter fools let me be torn to
-pieces by wild horses after the fashion of the Merovingian queens.
-
-However, I propose to give you some idea of how the various people you
-have come across in these pages continued their not too significant
-lives.
-
-When Marjorie had divorced Galton--having got married to him by way of
-preliminary--she was herself divorced by Pemberton--who had no further
-use for Lady Meinz--and then married--only last year--an extraordinarily
-fleshy man called (at the moment) Henry Munster. They are still
-happy--at least, she is. The child of the first union--if I may so
-describe it--is a girl; so that's the end of the Galton peerage.
-
-Aunt Amelia is dead: and high time.
-
-Her brother, the former Home Secretary, has in the interval developed
-astonishing talents which have fitted him for the Colonial Office, the
-India Office, and the Treasury, in rapid succession--and would doubtless
-have fitted him for the Foreign Office but for the determined opposition
-of the permanent officials. During the four years in which it had been
-arranged to let the other batch of professional politicians have a suck
-at the salaries, he acted as President (at £2,500) of the Commission
-for the Second Reduction of Wages, wrote a book of reminiscences
-(£3,000 Gubbins & Gubbins 42_s._). He was badly stoned during the
-progress of the fifth General Strike--some call it the seventh, but I
-follow the usual numeration. He had been taken by the mob for Henry
-Gaston, a man nearly forty years younger and twenty times as able--which
-only shows how important it is to educate the poor, and also, by the
-way, how important it is not to print in the papers pictures of people
-taken hundreds of years before the date of their appearance.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Last portrait of Professor de Bohun, a sketch
-reproduced in the "Figures Modernes"
-of Berne (Switzerland)._]
-
-
-William de Bohun is still Professor of Crystallography in the
-University, where he has still further attained a European reputation.
-He is now mentioned not only in Swiss papers, but occasionally in German
-ones. He is not more than seventy-nine, and there is every chance of his
-retaining the position for a few more years. He has not made it up with
-the reader in Crystallogy, Mr. Bertran Leader.
-
-I am sorry to say that these two distinguished men actually had a fight
-in the main street of their academic town, their weapons being
-umbrellas. Nor would the victory of the younger champion, Mr. B. Leader,
-have been for a moment doubtful had it not been that the umbrella of the
-elder, Professor de Bohun, was suddenly blown open by a gust of wind,
-affording him a sure and certain shield against the frenzied blows of
-his opponent.
-
-McTaggart has gone under for good. It seems shameful, considering the
-excellent position on the British Intelligence into which he had been
-put on a weekly contract at fifteen pounds by the influence of the Home
-Secretary, who thought some reparation due to him, and still more by the
-influence of Victoria Mosel, who had squeezed Lord Bernstein's hand. On
-the other hand it hurts nobody but himself. He is still unmarried.
-
-George Whaley, with his accumulated savings, purchased immediately upon
-his leaving the service of Humphrey de Bohun, the good will of the Bohun
-Arms, which I need hardly tell you does not belong to the family, but to
-a limited company. The pub stands at the gate of the park. Therein he
-regales the countryside with comic stories of his former employers; the
-rich middle-class motorists with scandal of the Great; the upper classes
-who deign to halt there on their way north in their superb cars with
-obsequience and silence, at a profit of about 30_s._ the bunch. He has
-done very well indeed, because it is a convenient lunching place for
-people motoring out from London to the north. His son is in this year's
-Oxford eight, but his daughter, I very much regret to say, has
-published, a book of verse--in Chelsea!
-
-Ethelbert, a bright lad of nineteen, ordered by his master into the
-special constabulary during the third General Strike--I use the
-conventional numeration--was so unfortunate as to crack smartly upon the
-head a high dignitary of the Church of England, and was thereupon put in
-prison at the instance of Lady Sophia--the eminent cleric's wife--who
-would take no denial. Upon release, the General Strike being still in
-progress--it was the first of the really _long_ General Strikes, as you
-will remember, he joined the regular police force, which is ever ready
-to welcome men of varied experience and initiative. But he never
-developed the intelligence required for the _agent provocateur_, in
-which capacity such members of the service as have had personal
-experience of the cells are commonly employed. He is now past thirty and
-doing clerical work in the Lost Property Department.
-
-What else remains? The horse, Attaboy, is dead, worn out in faithful
-labours at the stud. He was the sire of Get-On out of Get-Out. Get-Out,
-I need hardly tell you, was the sire of Success by Morning Star. Success
-was the sire of Repetition by Raseuse; and that is how Tabouche won the
-Oaks. I always did say the little filly would do well, for I have
-followed the strain--as, long ago, the form--of Attaboy, who now sleeps
-with his fathers--I means, sires, let alone dams.
-
-
-[Illustration: _Controversy conducted with umbrellas between a
-Professor (of Crystallography) and a Reader
-(in Crystallogy) to the University._]
-
-
-As for the parrot, whom I may call the second Attaboy, he is still the
-cherished, the beloved, of that constant heart, Marjorie; Mrs. Munster,
-_née_ de Bohun, sometime Lady Galton, as also Mrs. Pemberton--yes,
-Pemberton. So far as I can remember, she is nothing else--so far. Such a
-charming woman! Touching upon the lovely confines of middle age with
-large bulges under rather weary eyes. But her father provides
-handsomely.
-
-As for that father, the head of the family, Humphrey de
-Bohun--pronounced Deboon--he looks no older. It would be odd if he
-could. He feels no older--that would be impossible. But he is inclined
-to colds in the head. He now tells the same story over and over again,
-the story of the Emerald. And it always ends, "Now guess who it was?"
-They do not murder him, they give it up; and he dodders out, "Why! It
-was a jackdaw!"
-
-Victoria Mosel has, since the date of the great discovery of the
-Emerald, spent week-ends at Basingthorpe, Prawley, Hammerton, Gainger,
-Bifford, then again at Hammerton, then again at Gainger, after that at
-Little Wackham. Then at Bifford again, then at Gainger, and, of course,
-at Prawley. She also stayed at the Breitzes' place in Silesia for three
-months, where she shot the bailiff's dog--by accident. May I tell you
-that she has spent six weeks in every year on the Riviera? Can I deny
-that, at this very moment of writing, she is stopping at Hammerton,
-having passed the last week-end at Gainger and purposing to go on to
-Bifford?
-
-The years leave no mark upon her temporal frame, for the skin was ever
-tight upon her bones. But she knows that she is getting on--and not in
-the City sense of that term either. She already envisages the tomb. I am
-fond of her. I think she will save her soul.
-
-One great asset which endears her to the rich of her circle. Sir William
-Collop is always ready and even eager to come at her bidding to any
-country house, and there she puts him through his paces, to the enormous
-joy of the assembled hosts and guests. But she is a good girl--I use the
-word of a woman now nearing sixty--and she does him no harm. Only, she
-_does_ make him dance. And why _not_?
-
-After dinner, in the palaces of the rich, Sir William Collop is
-compelled to tell quaint stories of the other rich over whom his
-position in Scotland Yard gives him insight. Nor is he unwilling. They
-all call him a good fellow, by which they mean that his accent is as
-thick as cheese. He will be Collop till he dies. His original name is
-drowned ten fathoms deep; he is just coming into his pension, and he is
-an O. B. E. of the third crop.
-
-And the emerald? Ah, my friends! My brothers! I will tell you what
-happened to the emerald!
-
-When Mrs. Pemberton, formerly Lady Galton, then Mrs. Munster[1] _née_
-de Bohun, was making the straddle between the Pemberton and the Munster
-connections--what we call joining the slats--she needed five hundred
-pounds. It sounds ridiculous. But she did. One often does. She had
-outrun the constable. She did not want to bother her father, and for the
-very good reason that he had just got damnably knocked in the Hungarian
-Phosphates on the erroneous advice of that silly man Mowlem. Well, she
-had taken the emerald to the man who, Vic had told her, was the best
-expert in London--Mr. Marlovitch, Junior--and (behold!) he had proved to
-her by infallible tests that it was _paste_. What is more, he had given
-her proof out of learned books that no emerald of such size ever had
-existed, or could exist.
-
-The Bohuns had patriotism in their blood. Marjorie gave the famous
-trinket to the State--let me say to England!--under very easy conditions
-which earned her, I am glad to say, the entry of her daughter into
-Parliament. These conditions were modest: the emerald was to be
-permanently exhibited, in a very large case all by itself, in the
-British Museum, with a tablet engraved at the expense of England--I mean
-the State--describing it as the largest Emerald in the world--which it
-would have been if it had been an emerald--and assuring the honest
-public that it had been given by Catherine the Great to that member of
-the ancient family of de Bohuns who had served the interests of the
-State--or rather, let me say, of England--at the Court of All the
-Russias, in those days when the Semiramis of the North was the
-admiration of Europe.
-
-"What!" you'll exclaim (it's just like you!), "would that regal woman,
-that generous if somewhat demanding lady, that broad German strong in
-her nobility, that Monarch of the Snows, Empress of all the Russias,
-have fallen to deceiving handsome Bill Bones with a piece of paste?"
-
-Not a bit of it. You little understood the nature of those who serve
-power. She had given her emerald--and an emerald it was--to a man in
-whom she had the fullest confidence; she had given it him with the order
-to bestow it at once upon the English captain. But her messenger had
-preferred his own interest and had substituted that larger and false one
-round which all this dance has been led.
-
-And, as the Prime Minister said of his colleague on the front bench who
-got into trouble over the insurance shares, who shall blame him?
-
-Not I.
-
-
-[Footnote 1: Oh! Yes! I know all about it. She would have gone on
-calling herself Lady Galton from husband (save the mark!) to husband.
-No, child! It's already getting doubtful. In the future time of which I
-write it was unknown.]
-
-
-
-
-THE END
-
-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE EMERALD OF CATHERINE THE
-GREAT ***
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-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The emerald of Catherine the Great, by Hilaire Belloc</p>
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The emerald of Catherine the Great</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Hilaire Belloc</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Illustrator: Gilbert Keith Chesterton</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: August 11, 2022 [eBook #68727]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Laura Natal Rodrigues (Images generously made available by Hathi Trust Digital Library.)</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE EMERALD OF CATHERINE THE GREAT ***</div>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;">
-<img src="images/emerald_cover.jpg" width="500" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;">
-<img src="images/inner_cover.jpg" width="500" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-
-<h1><i>THE<br />
-EMERALD<br />
-CATHERINE THE GREAT</i></h1>
-
-<p><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h2><i>By Hilaire Belloc</i></h2>
-
-<p><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h3><i>With Illustrations by<br />
-G. K. Chesterton</i></h3>
-
-<p><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h5>1926</h5>
-
-<h5>Publishers</h5>
-
-<h5>New York and London</h5>
-
-<h4>Harper &amp; Brothers</h4>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure01"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure01.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Mr. Collop describes the Finesse Diplomatique<br />
-of Bogotar.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4>TO MAURICE BARING</h4>
-
-<p>
-MY DEAR MAURICE:
-</p>
-<p>
-This is the fourth book I have dedicated to you, and you will see why if
-you read it&mdash;which no one need do.
-</p>
-<p>
-First, emeralds are green; and, on principle, like the Green Overcoat,
-it owes to you of the Green Elephant, a dedication. Next, there is
-Catherine the Great. She plays no long part, but she founded the
-fortunes of them all; and we are in communion in the matter of that
-large and generous but regal soul; we agree that it is a pity she died
-before we were born. Also, you who know all about Russia, and I who know
-nothing, have, in the matter of Russia, this Monarch of all the Russias
-for a link.
-</p>
-<p>
-Lastly, you have often urged me to write a detective story, because (you
-assured me) they have gigantic sales. I promised you I would, on
-condition there was nothing to find out.
-</p>
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-Here it is.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-KING'S LAND,
-</p>
-<p>
-<i>Whitsun</i>, 1926.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4>CONTENTS</h4>
-<p class="nind">
-<a href="#CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER ONE</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER TWO</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER THREE</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER FOUR</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER FIVE</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER SIX</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_VII">CHAPTER SEVEN</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">CHAPTER EIGHT</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_IX">CHAPTER NINE</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_X">CHAPTER TEN</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XI">CHAPTER ELEVEN</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XII">CHAPTER TWELVE</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XIII">CHAPTER THIRTEEN</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XIV">CHAPTER FOURTEEN</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XV">CHAPTER FIFTEEN</a><br />
-<a href="#CHAPTER_XVI">CHAPTER SIXTEEN</a><br />
-<a href="#TALE_PIECE">TALE-PIECE</a></p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4>THE EMERALD OF<br />
-CATHERINE THE GREAT</h4>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER ONE</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-w.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-William Bones was a stalwart man, some thirty-five years of age, the
-master of a Brig which sailed from the port of Boston in Lincolnshire
-and was half his own property. He was a native of that town, his father
-having been therein a pork butcher in a fair way of business, his mother
-the daughter of a small farmer in the Wring Land. He traded with the
-Baltic when George the Third was King&mdash;indeed, when George the Third
-was still young and long before George the Third first went mad.
-</p>
-<p>
-Among other ports, he had found profit more than once in visiting that
-of the River Neva, and was acquainted with the Russian trade. The great
-city of St. Petersburg, still new but already splendid, became familiar
-to him; and he himself, in his humble visits to the local factors,
-became a familiar figure to the Secret Police of that capital. Even his
-most domestic and private actions during his dealings in this port were
-registered; and, it must be added, his strong English frame and handsome
-English face admired, but also duly noted and their description passed
-on to the proper authorities.
-</p>
-<p>
-On his third voyage to Russia he was honoured by the invitation of a
-merchant somewhat wealthier than the common of his acquaintance and at
-that table met some official of the Court, of what exact situation his
-ignorance of Russian and of French forbade him to inquire. Before
-returning to his native Lincolnshire, his happy spouse and his young
-family, he enjoyed the singular privilege of a further unexpected
-invitation from this same Court official whom he had thus chanced to
-meet, and so found himself at supper in one of the smaller and more
-discreet rooms of the Palace, upon its mezzanine floor, in a choice
-company of both sexes.
-</p>
-<p>
-It is characteristic of the Empress herself&mdash;a great woman!&mdash;that
-a large humanity and a laudable curiosity combined rendered her
-indifferent to the conventions of rank. No sooner had she heard of the
-British merchant captain's cheerful and manly habit than she desired a
-more exact description, upon her receiving which he was permitted an
-entrance to the Presence.
-</p>
-<p>
-He enjoyed, partly by means of an elderly female who interpreted for him
-until he had improved his few words of German&mdash;the Empress's mother
-tongue and most familiar idiom&mdash;no little conversation with the august
-sovereign, who, when he arrived at this stage, deigned to keep him by
-her alone for some while. The interview was repeated upon more than one
-occasion and her Imperial Majesty was so good, upon his reluctant
-leave-taking some two or three weeks after his first arrival, as to
-press him with an invitation to return.
-</p>
-<p>
-Next season, the moment the Baltic ice was melted, he did so, disposing
-of a mixed cargo; and, while leisurely awaiting his return charge, was
-almost daily conveyed to the Palace from his humble lodging. For four
-successive seasons running this strange adventure persisted.
-</p>
-<p>
-Meanwhile his Boston neighbours could not but remark that his home in
-the British haven of which he was a native and mariner, showed a
-considerable advance in prosperity. His wife was better dressed, his
-growing family could boast an increasing and superior acquaintance among
-children of a rank with whom they would not earlier have mixed. It was
-even whispered that Bill Bones had made formidable investments in the
-City of London, which he certainly had visited more than half a dozen
-times during his last winter stay in England; and though his friends
-very charitably agreed that the profits of the Baltic trade might be
-large, and that Bill Bones might have had exceptional opportunities,
-they none the less talked among themselves upon the various possible
-sources of a fortune which that trade could hardly account for.
-</p>
-<p>
-With the fifth season there came an end to what had certainly been a
-remarkable series. Whatever advantages communion with a throne might
-have had for William Bones, the future would no doubt show; but the
-fifth season was the end. There had been farewells, and yet no loss of
-the high regard in which, for some extraordinary reason, he had been
-held by the Semiramis of the North. He had acquired a certain assurance
-of bearing which marked his new fortunes, and indeed, in this final
-scene of his presence upon the quays of St. Petersburg, he seemed by his
-gait to be some one of consequence. And no wonder, for he had left the
-Palace for the last time bearing secreted in the bosom of his ample coat
-a jewel worthy to be a memorial of the greatest passages in any life.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was an emerald, exceptionally large&mdash;the largest, he had been
-assured, in the world&mdash;square in shape, of the purest water and set
-in a delicate little gold mounting after a fashion which recalled the
-ornaments of the French Court.
-</p>
-<p>
-It speaks well for Captain Bones that on his return to Boston he handed
-this jewel to his wife, who thenceforward had it fixed with a pin, to
-serve the office of a brooch, and wore it upon great occasions; notably
-at a dance given by the mayor of the town, to which she brought her
-eldest daughter, though barely of an age for such ceremonials.
-</p>
-<p>
-The next year William Bones let his house in Boston and abruptly
-transported himself and his family to the metropolis. His neighbours
-were interested to discover that before abandoning them he had purchased
-not a little property in the town and had even appointed a substantial
-agent to deal with his rentals. He was clearly an advancing man and
-their respect for him grew profound when they learnt what figure he now
-cut in a world above their own. In London he was found entertaining
-largely and standing upon an equal footing with merchants of repute,
-though not perhaps as yet of the first fortune. Meanwhile he had
-preferred the name of Bone, in the singular, to that of his earlier
-life, conceiving it to be more consonant with his present position and
-his residence in Cornhill and his interests in the banking world.
-</p>
-<p>
-His only son George, when of an age for such occupations, which was some
-five years after the family had come up to London, was taken in as a
-partner by Mr. Worsle the India merchant, partly, no doubt, as a
-testimony of friendship to his father, but partly also because William
-Bone, who would now indifferently sign himself Bone or Bohun&mdash;the
-original form of the name&mdash;had put at the young fellow's disposal a
-very considerable capital.
-</p>
-<p>
-William Bohun himself died somewhat prematurely in the eighth year after
-his transmigration, and his wife, who, though much desiring to cut a
-proper figure in her new world, had never properly succeeded in doing
-so, followed him within three months to the grave. Her younger daughters
-had received an excellent education; her eldest, born in her
-father's earlier days, had perhaps less refinement of accent and
-deportment&mdash;but on the other hand, her solid worth and quite
-exceptional dowry had procured her alliance with the heir to Sir Philip
-Goole, a landed gentleman in the West of England possessed of a fine
-town house in Cavendish Square, but indifferent to politics.
-</p>
-<p>
-George de Bohun&mdash;he had at first rejected but later began to use the
-prefix "de" which a friend in the Heralds' College had suggested to
-him&mdash;prospered, I am glad to say, exceedingly, as the son of such a
-worthy father should, and acquired the playful nickname of "The Nabob,"
-which spread from the city to the more exalted circles into which he was
-welcomed, west of Temple Bar. It is a sufficient indication of the
-respect in which he was held when I say that he was elected to Brooks's
-Club, and there, by his generous behaviour at the card table, failed not
-to become a favourite with the most exalted of his contemporaries in
-Whig circles.
-</p>
-<p>
-It may or may not interest the reader to know that upon his father's
-death it was discovered that the Emerald of Catherine the Great had been
-made an heirloom and was devised by an explanatory letter&mdash;since
-the law could not enforce such a succession&mdash;for the eldest son,
-or, failing sons, the eldest daughter of the reigning de Bohun on
-arriving at his twenty-first, or her eighteenth birthday, his or her
-parents or trustees being its successive custodians until that date.
-Failing such a personage, the jewel was to be passed to any cadet
-branch, the eldest in succession. If the great line of de Bohun should
-fail&mdash;which Heaven forfend!&mdash;the sacred object was to be
-buried with the last of that illustrious lineage.
-</p>
-<p>
-The legal complications to which such a disposition would give rise need
-not concern us, for in fact they never arose. George de Bohun had but
-one son, Richard, born in the same year that saw the death of General
-Bonaparte, the famous Corsican adventurer. To this son in his old age he
-conveyed the jewel with the instructions concerning it, but he had
-previously got rid of its unfashionable Louis XVI mounting and had it
-set again, now as a pendant, after the fashion prevalent in the first
-years of Queen Victoria.
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. George de Bohun had acquired&mdash;perhaps from his father&mdash;an
-unusual reverence for the gem which he believed, with a mystical
-devotion curious in a business man, to be in some way the tutelary
-genius of his House. He would frequently tell young Richard, his heir,
-during the boyhood of that philanthropist, the story of how Catherine
-the Great herself had given it to his own father, the grandfather of the
-lad, when that powerful genius was engaged upon a secret diplomatic
-mission to the Russian Court. Hence had the emerald come to be known by
-the title of "The Emerald of Catherine the Great" in the private circle
-of the de Bohuns&mdash;pronounced "Deboons." That it should be preserved
-in the family, certainly never sold and&mdash;please God!&mdash;never
-lost, was a religion with George, which grew more fanatical as he
-approached the tomb. He came, perhaps from an idea inherited from his
-father, to regard it as a necessary condition of their prosperity, and
-he imbued his son Richard with I know not what vague fears of disaster
-should its possession be abandoned or should the stone itself be
-mislaid.
-</p>
-<p>
-This second in the great line, George de Bohun&mdash;pronounced
-Deboon&mdash;the son of its founder, though born as long ago as 1780,
-lived to see the inauguration of the Hyde Park Exhibition by Queen
-Victoria in 1851, and, having refused a peerage, closed his eyes in the
-fine country house known as Paulings.
-</p>
-<p>
-This mansion was&mdash;and is&mdash;situated in Herts, at no more than
-twenty-five miles from Westminster. The successful Russian merchant
-purchased it upon advantageous terms from the bankrupt and disreputable
-Parrall family, whose last and seventeenth representative not only
-proved incapable of preserving the patrimony of his ancestors, but had
-joined the Romish Church and perished miserably at Boulogne.
-</p>
-<p>
-Richard de Bohun was of course the "Dirty Dick" of mid-Victorian
-politics, and an intimate friend of Lord Palmerston. There is little to
-record of him except that after doing good and lucrative work in two
-administrations he also refused a peerage; in which he was wise, for
-though the family fortunes had not diminished, the general increase of
-wealth around him made his position less conspicuous than that of his
-father had been in the City of London. Indeed, the family was now no
-longer connected with trade.
-</p>
-<p>
-He died&mdash;as he had been born&mdash;at Paulings, a country house of
-such absorbing interest that I shall later be compelled to describe it in
-accurate if tedious terms.
-</p>
-<p>
-The now reigning de Bohun, called Humphrey&mdash;after an illustrious
-ancestor, the Humphrey de Bohun who fought at Bannockburn under
-Edward II and undoubtedly held land, through his wife, in the
-neighbourhood of Boston&mdash;the son of this statesman, is the Mr. de
-Bohun&mdash;pronounced Deboon&mdash;of our own day: the highly respected
-Home Secretary who has already passed with such distinction
-through what he himself will call the <i>Cursus honorum</i>, having been
-Parliamentary Secretary to Harry Gates during all of the great Paramooka
-Scandal&mdash;when he was the Baby of the House&mdash;then successively
-rejected by Middleham West after the Seychelles Scandal&mdash;when Gates
-went to the Lords&mdash;elected after a second attempt by Middleham
-East, Under-Secretary during the period of the Second General Strike and
-at last, after the usual vicissitudes of public life, occupying the
-exalted position which he still adorns.
-</p>
-<p>
-His figure is familiar to the public, I fear, rather by early
-photographs than by recent portraits. He is a man tall and carefully
-clothed, with a rather weary expression, set on a long face, with
-insufficient grey hair neatly brushed. He is of a courteous demeanour.
-He is much attached to his country life at Paulings, so happily
-convenient to London, and sheltered from the large growth of suburban
-villas about it by a dense fringe of more or less ancient trees. He is a
-widower, possessed of three motor cars, but with only a flat in town. He
-has refused a baronetcy, for he has (alas!) no son, but one daughter,
-now just entering her nineteenth year. The name of the charming child is
-Marjorie, and it was but recently, upon her eighteenth birthday, the
-15th of January, that her father somewhat solemnly presented her with
-the famous heirloom.
-</p>
-<p>
-He had used no little ceremonial, speaking a little pompously of her
-dead mother&mdash;a Ginningham&mdash;of the immemorial traditions of
-their house, and with curious insistence upon the supposed influence of
-the jewel upon their fortunes. He smiled somewhat lugubriously as he
-touched that point, but Marjorie, though not extravagantly intelligent,
-had brains enough to believe in omens, mascots, talismans, and was
-proud, as a girl should be at her age, to enter upon the possession of
-the Sacred Gem of the de Bohuns.
-</p>
-<p>
-Her father had discarded, for so great an occasion, the Victorian gold
-setting which, he was assured by Mr. Marolovitch and other experts, was
-in deplorable taste. The jewel was now set once more&mdash;by Mr.
-Marolovitch&mdash;as a brooch, since a woman was to wear it. The new
-setting was in platinum, designed in the finest taste of Berlin, with
-writhing curves and dead square divisions of the most entrancing
-variety. Large as the Emerald was, and its new Prussian setting
-adequately broad, yet the whole lay easily on the palm.
-</p>
-<p>
-If it be not blasphemy to suggest any inefficiency in our Teutonic
-cousins, I should suggest that the pin was a thought too long and
-capable, on careless handling, of biting the hand that fed it. But for
-any such trifling defect the grey colour of the new and more expensive
-mounting, resembling that of a leaded grate, and the awful severity of
-its odd rectangles and unexpected heavings of its re-entrant curves,
-made ample atonement. Such was the aspect of the Emerald of Catherine
-the Great in the winter when it entered upon its liveliest activities.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER TWO</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-a.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-About a fortnight had passed since Mr. de Bohun had given his daughter
-Marjorie the family mascot. It was Friday, the 30th of January, 1930:
-the weather unpleasantly cold, overcast, with a threat of snow, and the
-dark already set in.
-</p>
-<p>
-After the heavy strain of an English working week, especially in
-Parliament, complete relaxation is necessary from Friday after lunch to
-the Monday's return to town by the afternoon. Nor was any mansion more
-fitted to recuperate the exhausted energies of statesman or politician
-than Paulings.
-</p>
-<p>
-It had been built in the classical manner some twenty years before the
-decline of the Parrall fortunes, which got their worst blow after the
-year 1745. It was classical and highly symmetric; its fine great doors
-had been designed to stand slightly above the level of the drive and
-looked upon a shallow sweep of stone stairway. Upon either side of them,
-windows in the Palladian fashion, with a pediment above each, announced
-the wealth within; a hanging wreath of flowers and fruit in stone went
-the length of the great wall, and against the sky was a balustrade.
-</p>
-<p>
-That was all very well for the eighteenth century; but the nineteenth
-and the new wealth of the de Bohuns put on useful excrescences. There
-was a bulb to the east, and yet another bulb at the end of that, where
-new stables, now a garage, were added to new offices, and on the west
-there had been built, a little after the Crimean War, something like
-half as much again of house room, in a manner pleasingly different from
-all the rest. Here a new and more convenient door gave into a large
-hall, not without suits of armour purchased at considerable expense, and
-giving by various doors into the larger, older, and grander rooms of the
-house, into a panelled dining-room, a large drawing-room, too often
-changing in style, and on the extreme west a room very rarely used save
-for the reception of whatever was not wanted about the living parts of
-the house, or&mdash;in theory at least&mdash;for the complete seclusion of
-its master, when&mdash;in theory&mdash;his heavy responsibilities demanded
-heavy concentration.
-</p>
-<p>
-This room we must know, for it was here that blind Fate, an all-seeing
-Providence, or&mdash;more probably&mdash;a lively and mischievous sprite
-had laid the scene of the loss of the Emerald.
-</p>
-<p>
-The room was not large; it was in good proportions, for it dated from a
-time when we were still civilized. It was strangely apparelled. There
-was a large, rather shabby desk, at which the Home Secretary was
-supposed to write and where he did at least leave accumulated a few old
-letters and kept them down with a paper-weight of Chinese crystal,
-carefully chiselled into the form of a little god who smiled.
-</p>
-<p>
-There were five deep chairs of the sort called lounge, upholstered in a
-leather almost black. There were as many more comfortable common chairs.
-There was a really good fireplace brought over from one of the old
-houses in Dublin, of marble with a Bacchic frieze. There was in front of
-that really good fireplace a rug made of the skin of a polar bear,
-singularly fierce in its open red mouth of ferocious grin, its gleaming
-teeth and staring eyes&mdash;the room was so deserted that no one had
-knocked that head to pieces with his feet. It seemed almost new, fresh
-from the Arctic.
-</p>
-<p>
-There were six windows looking to the west, south, and north, and coming
-down close to the floor with deep sills forming seats after the fashion
-of our fathers. For the room projected out into the park upon three
-sides and the western one faced a long grass path between an avenue of
-trees. There were one or two tables which did nothing, after the fashion
-of most tables&mdash;outside dining-rooms, and even there they do no work
-which I can recommend. There was above the mantelpiece one of those
-looking-glasses of the First French Empire, round, lens-like, and
-diminishing the picture of all the room. It had a round, broad, gilded
-rim and upon its summit an eagle of the sort that flew from the Pyramids
-to Cadiz, from Cadiz to Paris, from Paris to Moscow, and from Moscow
-back again.
-</p>
-<p>
-The floor was of the sort called, I believe, in the trade, antique
-Austrian parquet. That is, it consisted of some half dozen slabs of
-cheap pine firmly bolted together, on the top of it a veneer of
-herring-bone Baltic oak, chemically treated to simulate the age and
-dignity of Schönbrunn. The thing was designed for rapid laying down and
-lifting and fitted together simply upon joists with what are&mdash;again
-technically&mdash;called invisible screws, but at the corners of the room
-the contraption was held by certain clamps which wanted a hell of a lot of
-hammering down when it was fixed. On the surface of this dignified
-flooring lay, carelessly chucked about, a few Oriental rugs from
-Brighton and one charming little Chinese mat from London, damnably out
-of place and swearing with the rest of the room like a cat run up a tree
-from a dog.
-</p>
-<p>
-What else was there in the room? Ah, yes, there was a parrot cage, and
-if you are wise, unfortunate reader, you will pay particular attention
-to that parrot cage, for later on it has a speaking part.
-</p>
-<p>
-It hung by a chain from the ceiling against the west window looking out
-on the long avenue, and within it lived&mdash;not melancholy, for he was
-too stupid, but in a mixture of stolid age, indifference, and
-nothingness&mdash;the parrot Attaboy. Nor must I omit either the appearance
-of the parrot Attaboy, but only later can I tell you how the parrot
-Attaboy came by his name.
-</p>
-<p>
-Of his lineage I know nothing, nor even of his age. He might well have
-been one hundred. Certainly there was nothing young about his eyes or
-gestures, and I have always heard that parrots, like family servants and
-others whom the gods hate, live to a great age.
-</p>
-<p>
-Aunt Amelia had made a pompous present of him three years before to her
-beloved niece Marjorie after her beloved Marjorie had reached her
-fifteenth birthday; she bestowed not only the parrot but the cage, and
-simultaneously a kiss upon her niece's forehead. At first the recipient
-of the fowl did not appreciate the gift. But love will grow. The
-thing&mdash;by which I mean the cage and the parrot and all&mdash;was hung
-by a hook&mdash;at Aunt Amelia's expense&mdash;to the roof of this room
-simply because it was so little used.
-</p>
-<p>
-It happened precisely at the opening of the flat racing season, three
-years before the opening of the story which you now have the ecstatic
-pleasure of reading, that young Lord Galton, Marjorie's
-cousin&mdash;recently acceded to the title by the sudden and unexpected
-death of his father from I know not what forms of excess&mdash;had
-pulled a horse.
-</p>
-<p>
-He was one of our modern youths, loving the risks of life and living
-dangerously. Therefore had he pulled a horse and the horse he had
-pulled&mdash;his very own&mdash;he had named Attaboy.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was never brought home to him, as the phrase goes; that is, everybody
-knew that it was true. Attaboy was famous at Paulings&mdash;a sort of
-family crime to be proud of&mdash;a word used as often as any other for
-the moment at Paulings; and the poor old parrot&mdash;we have no
-initiative in age&mdash;picked it up and refused to learn anything else.
-</p>
-<p>
-In a way it was awkward. Tommy Galton would come to his uncle's house
-from time to time, and when he came it was rather important to keep him
-out of the West Room during daylight. For the parrot had a way of
-croaking quite suddenly, in the strong colonial accent of his tribe,
-"Attaboy!" at the most unexpected moments. However, the parrot Attaboy
-possessed a cover of black felt carefully put over his cage at night,
-and whenever it found itself in darkness it was habitually silent after
-the honourable fashion of parrots&mdash;and, after all, the room was not
-commonly used. There was little risk of Lord Galton's being in it save
-after the black cover was over the detestable bird.
-</p>
-<p>
-Of Attaboy the parrot&mdash;Attaboy the horse had already gone to
-stud&mdash;Marjorie grew fond. For one thing, she was not unattracted by
-her cousin Tom, and Attaboy made a sort of bond between them. For another,
-she was at the age when women can be fond of anything, even Tommy
-Galton, let alone a parrot.
-</p>
-<p>
-So much for Attaboy and the deserted room.
-</p>
-<p>
-It has been remarked&mdash;without payment&mdash;by more than one
-philosopher that the great events of this world arrive through the
-action of agents who did not intend them. And this you will find to be
-true of Attaboy, of the Polar Bear, and the deserted West Room.
-</p>
-<p>
-I think it only fair to add, since I am writing a detective story, that
-when Aunt Amelia visited her brother the Home Secretary, which was, all
-totted up, for something like a third of the year, she was given the
-principal guest room, known in the family as Bannockburn, which lay
-immediately above.
-</p>
-<p>
-So much for Paulings and its now famous, then deserted, West Room; its
-Parrot, its Polar Bear.
-</p>
-<p>
-I return to that winter week-end, that cold January Friday and the few
-gathered in the great drawing-room of Paulings round its tea table.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was not a party: it was a family meeting of a very few people.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure02"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure02.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Dear Aunt, so good, so kind, and a little deaf.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-Old Lady Bolter, a much elder sister of the Home Secretary, known among
-the Great as "Aunt Amelia," we have seen was half a permanency. She had
-already given them three weeks of herself a month before; and she had
-now settled down to another bout. They suffered her in this fashion
-often enough; but as for her, she knitted. I have read in one of those
-books which are published anonymously upon the people of that world,
-that she had been famous in King Edward's day for her wit. Maybe. She
-would hardly be famous for it now. However, she was not nearly so blind
-nor so deaf as she pretended to be. She had met most people up to the
-Great War and resembled a sheep.
-</p>
-<p>
-Victoria Mosel was there, Marjorie's friend of another generation, still
-sinuously moving round and round from house to house forever. There were
-two men, close relatives, cousins: an elder and a younger.
-</p>
-<p>
-The first was the hippo-phile, the expert in things of the Turf whom you
-have just heard of, young Lord Galton, the son of the Home Secretary's
-first cousin, Cecily, who had brought to Algernon, first&mdash;and very
-nearly last&mdash;Lord Galton, a sufficient dowry, drawn from the then
-ample funds of the de Bohuns, for her father had been the younger
-brother of the Home Secretary. But this first&mdash;and very nearly
-last&mdash;Lord Galton indeed was dead, and so was Lady Galton his wife,
-and the young man, now his own father, found his inheritance less than
-he might have desired. The Galtons, wisely taking their title from their
-name, had not done well since they had left Liverpool; they had left
-that town too early. So here he was, a tall, dark young man, a little
-too solid and certain of himself, and&mdash;unhappily&mdash;attached to
-racing, a pastime for which his fortune might have been sufficient fifty
-years ago, but was not at all sufficient to-day.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was not every house in England in which Lord Galton would have been
-welcomed; but family counts, and he was here, with his rather sullen
-face, strong chin and fixed mouth, and sub-challenging eyes. They were
-sub-challenging because of Attaboy the horse. He had not suffered as he
-might have done; he went a good deal less to one or two of his better
-clubs than he had done before the rumour spread, but he was still a
-constant member of the Posts and gambled there assiduously and with some
-success. Yet was he always embarrassed, and his embarrassment did not
-help his reputation.
-</p>
-<p>
-He sat at the tea table that afternoon, fighting the boredom of Aunt
-Amelia with what was toleration if it was not courtesy, and looking at
-Marjorie without admiration but perhaps with intention. Now and then he
-cast a furtive sharp look, when he thought it was safe, at Victoria
-Mosel. She always knew too much, and as she stood there in front of the
-fire, with a sham vacant look on her shrewd face, and the eternal
-cigarette hanging from her lip, he wished her farther.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure03"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure03.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Mr. B. Leader, Reader in Crystallogy to the<br />
-University, reading in Crystallogy to the<br />
-University.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-The second guest at that table, next to the Home Secretary himself, was
-yet another cousin, but a whole first cousin this time&mdash;the only son
-of the youngest uncle of all, who had married very young and very
-imprudently. Wherefore was the said cousin, William by name, unable to
-go into the City, and, compelled to become a Don, had become by
-profession a professor. For a first cousin he was rather absurdly older
-than the head of the family. The Home Secretary, who had himself married
-late, was not more than fifty-five; but the Don, William de Bohun,
-Fellow of Burford and holding the Chair of Crystallography, was quite
-ten years older&mdash;perhaps a little more. He had a simple pride in the
-excellence of his birth, a distracted manner due to his immense
-learning&mdash;not indeed in the general field of the Humanities or the
-Arts, but upon the particular point of dodekahedral crystals&mdash;and even
-of octohedrals he had a smattering. Such was his fame that he had been
-mentioned more than once in the proceedings of learned societies abroad
-and had been elected Corresponding Member to the Crystallographic
-Society of Berne.
-</p>
-<p>
-Unmarried, with a small private income, the poor nest egg of his
-improvident father, amply endowed, with no pupils to speak of, and the
-dodekahedral hobby, he would have been as happy as it is possible for an
-atheist approaching death to be, had it not been for the existence of
-that infamous charlatan, Bertram Leader, not even a Fellow of St.
-Filbert's, and mere Reader to the University in Amorphic Crystallogy.
-</p>
-<p>
-I need not insist on the gulf that separates crystallography, a true
-science, from crystallogy, its base mercantile application. To the one,
-as was but right, a chair was attached; a chair founded by Z. Leizler
-the philanthropist, before his flight, and now occupied by the aged
-figure of the de Bohun. The other was thought hardly worth a Readership
-at £600 a year, and only under secret threats had that wealthy college,
-St. Filbert's, been persuaded by certain City men whom B. Leader in his
-turn had threatened, to cough up. It took its revenge by admitting B.
-Leader to its high table, and refusing to elect him a Fellow.
-</p>
-<p>
-He it was who, waging secret war upon university caste, dug his
-revengeful fangs into the Professor's naked soul. He it was who spotted
-with relentless eye all the misprints in the Professor's papers, and
-denounced them as enormities of ignorance in the <i>British
-Crystallographic Review</i>, with which is combined the <i>Crystal
-Gazetteer</i> and <i>Bulletin</i>. He it was who exploded de Bohun's
-ancient German doctrines with the recent research of horrid Dagoes, and
-exposed it to derision whenever he lectured to a class of more than a
-dozen; for his department being mixed up with commerce, there was money
-in it, and a few undergraduates on the scent of the same; not so the
-Professor's department. Now two, now one student, sought the well of
-learning, and sometimes none.
-</p>
-<p>
-On the other hand, Professor de Bohun could&mdash;and did&mdash;nourish
-a burning happiness in his heart to remember that the infamous B. Leader
-was of no lineage and had no private income at all. Nay, worse; an
-accent&mdash;almost a twang.
-</p>
-<p>
-But alas! for the alloyed happiness of risen man, in whom the highest
-have something in them of the ape, (Poggles <i>General View</i>, Vol. II,
-Ch. XXII, p. 222). B. Leader himself nourished a secret burning joy in his
-heart; for he had found out&mdash;what the great thought was peculiar to
-their own circle&mdash;the dreadful story of William de Bohun and the
-Mullingar Diamond.
-</p>
-<p>
-Because he loved crystals&mdash;not because he loved wealth: because the
-Mullingar Diamond was the largest of its yellow kind in the world, and
-had a flaw which was confidently reported to be
-due&mdash;incredible!&mdash;to a bubble, William de Bohun had, eight
-years before, while stopping at the Abbey as an honoured guest, pinched
-the Mullingar Diamond&mdash;not for a permanency, but to make a close
-examination of the incredible bubble. He had returned it, but already
-his action had got known, and some people were cold to him. The less
-instructed among the great whispered that he had been a famous thief in
-youth; the more instructed believed that his profound science had
-produced a momentary lapse. The Family knew, but had long forgiven him;
-indeed, there was nothing to forgive&mdash;they said.
-</p>
-<p>
-Let it be added that Professor de Bohun had acquired, from so much
-concentrated study upon dodekahedral crystals&mdash;with fatiguing
-excursions among the octohedrals&mdash;a pleasing habit of repeating a
-word, never less than three times, and sometimes six or eight.
-</p>
-<p>
-In dress the old gentleman was careless, and, though perpetually
-washing, never apparently clean. However, he did shave&mdash;save for the
-whiskers which were the badge of his attainments in the learned world.
-</p>
-<p>
-There was expected a third man, as young as, or younger than, Lord
-Galton, and of a very different and meaner kind, a certain Hamish
-McTaggart, who had become suddenly famous within the narrow circle of
-the people in the know, because the Prime Minister, upon reading an
-article of his upon Protection had said&mdash;in the full hearing of the
-very narrow circle&mdash;"This is the only man on Protection whom I really
-understand." The article had appeared by the order of McTaggart's master
-in <i>The Howl</i>, whence it may be rightly assumed that McTaggart knew no
-more of economics than would a warthog of Botticelli. Hence the lucid
-style which the Prime Minister had saluted with such discovering joy.
-</p>
-<p>
-His argument had been very simple. If you prevent things coming in to
-the sacred Island, Albion, the Albionese will have to make these things
-for themselves, and that means more employment, doesn't it? The truth
-had struck the Prime Minister with far more effect thus set down in
-clean print, than when he had heard it, as he had heard it a thousand
-times, from the proprietor of <i>The Howl</i>, whom he had himself so
-rightly ennobled.
-</p>
-<p>
-Therefore was Hamish McTaggart now glowing with a vivid, though, alas!
-restricted fame.
-</p>
-<p>
-He himself was getting heartily tired of it. It had halved his
-income&mdash;that is, it had brought it down below five hundred pounds a
-year. No one would print him except upon the subject of Protection, and
-he had to write in the way that was really understood. And he was
-allowed to write only in those papers peculiar to the little inner
-circle with the little inner circulation corresponding&mdash;and there's no
-money in that! When he wanted to write about tigers, and get his
-expenses paid free to the East and a lump sum&mdash;a job he would have got
-for the asking two years before, when he wrote by the thousand words, to
-order, just after leaving the University&mdash;he was asked what on earth
-he knew about it? Tigers! And was bundled back to Protection.
-</p>
-<p>
-Therefore was his future black; but in the little circle he was a sort
-of lion. Victoria Mosel was always talking of him; Marjorie was eager to
-see him once and then to discard his company for ever; Lady Bolter, full
-of the intellectual Victorian time, wanted to be able to say that she
-had been in the same room with a man of whom the Prime Minister himself
-had said that he was the only man whose writing he really understood.
-The Home Secretary had met him once or twice in other people's houses;
-Marjorie herself and her aunt were the only two for whom he was still
-quite a stranger.
-</p>
-<p>
-"What train is he coming by?" said Tommy Galton, sunk into a deep chair.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary looked at his watch, then at the clock, noted they
-did not correspond, frowned, and said he'd be here any time.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure04"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure04.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Victoria Mosel lays odds on Mr. McTaggart's<br />
-saying "Dee-Boe-Hunn."</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-"I'll give you evens," said Victoria Mosel, "that he calls you Dee Boe
-Hunn."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Done!" said Tommy Galton, putting up a finger.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Bradburys?" said Vic, sucking a pencil. "Gimme a bit o' paper."
-</p>
-<p>
-Tommy Galton wrote on his cuff. "That'll do," he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I often wish," bleated Aunt Amelia, "that you young people could have
-met John Bright. I was only in the schoolroom, of course, but my dear
-father had no scruples in&mdash;&mdash;"
-</p>
-<p>
-She was not allowed to go on.
-</p>
-<p>
-"We can't all sit here kicking our heels till he's kind enough to
-parade," said Marjorie, with girlish simplicity.
-</p>
-<p>
-"No one wants you to," said Vic, delicately tearing off the last
-cigarette like a plaster, and sticking in another one. "I'm clamped
-down. Me for Hamish!"
-</p>
-<p>
-The Professor suddenly gave tongue. His exceedingly pale old eyes were
-wide open, and his foolish mouth almost as wide.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, I think it'll be exceedingly interesting&mdash;exceedingly
-interesting," he quavered. "Exceedingly interesting to meet one of the
-new generation of ... shall we say, ah! journalists? Yes,
-journalists.... Journalists."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, Bill," replied young Galton. "We'll say journalists." Marjorie
-yawned and stretched.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, I'm not going to wait any longer," she said, when the buzz of a
-motor was heard on the gravel outside, the approach of middle-class
-feet, the door solemnly thrown open as for a dancing bear, and the
-unfortunate McTaggart appeared, his name preceding him.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary, who had preserved some of the traditions, unfolded
-himself painfully from his chair and stood up, greeting McTaggart with
-the wan smile of the public man.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Good evening, Mr. de Bohun." And behold! he pronounced it Deboon. With
-the business-like rapidity that became her so well, Victoria Mosel
-handed a crushed ball of three one-pound notes undemonstratively to Tom
-Galton, who stretched forward to take it and elaborately crossed out the
-note on his cuff.
-</p>
-<p>
-Young McTaggart stood there a moment, not daring to sit down, suffering
-great torture. Nor did any of the company relieve it, though Aunt
-Amelia, to do her justice, did tell him how glad they all were to see
-him, much as a spokesman for the Divinities might welcome any clod.
-</p>
-<p>
-The poor devil was out of place. He did not know why he had come; he had
-come because he was pressed, because he had nothing else to do, because
-he was lonely, because he had heard of Paulings and wanted to see it,
-because he thought such a visit to such a house might improve his
-prospects; and now that he was here, he wished it had never been built.
-</p>
-<p>
-He was never at his ease with his social superiors. His father and
-grandfather had been mere soldiers; his great-grandfather one of
-Nelson's captains; <i>his</i> father again a very small laird in
-Ayrshire&mdash;but one had to go back as far as that to get to gentility.
-He dressed awkwardly, and he knew it. He never seemed to know quite where
-to put the hands and feet at the extremities of his uncouth frame. He
-also had a rather irritating trick of never looking anybody in the face.
-It was nervousness, and came of writing too much. He was, I regret to
-say, terrified of women, but especially of Ladies; and he had already
-spent the first hours of his exile in wondering why on earth he had
-allowed himself to be over-persuaded and had come.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-So much for the tea table and those that sat round it. The Home
-Secretary, damnably full of courtesy but rather silent, sat helpless;
-Victoria Mosel still stood by the fire surveying them all&mdash;and
-particularly McTaggart&mdash;not unsaturnine for the others, but with a
-singular touch of kindness in her slits of eyes for the embarrassed boy.
-Then she recovered the firm pressure of her lips, emphasised by the
-drooping cigarette, and the others looked on inanely or surlily,
-according as God had made them.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-If you think I am going to describe to you in any detail how they passed
-their time between tea and dinner, you are mistaken. Some books are
-written like that, and there is an art of making them readable. I have
-it not.
-</p>
-<p>
-To action, therefore&mdash;to the Emerald!
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER THREE</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-i.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-It was that same Friday night, and about 9.55 by the clock. The men had
-just come in from the dining-room. They had been warned that the
-housekeeper, Mrs. Bankes (fear nothing&mdash;you will never meet her again)
-had commandeered the drawing-room. They were not allowed to go back
-there, for even now the belated serfs were spreading, under Mrs. Bankes'
-eye, large dingy cloths over the chairs and tables against the early
-sweep of the morrow.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary had no choice but to shepherd them into the somewhat
-forlorn, hardly used West Room. A good fire had been ordered. He trusted
-humbly in God that the parrot Attaboy, securely covered in its black
-cage cloth, could utter no unseemly Attaboy cry. If it did&mdash;well, if
-it did, Tommy must laugh. After all, it was his fault if he had pulled a
-horse.
-</p>
-<p>
-The men crawled in. McTaggart, being by far the meanest, was
-compelled&mdash;in an agony&mdash;to go first. Next the Professor slid;
-after him with sullen assurance Tom Galton. And the great statesman
-filed in last, as host and chief, and shut the door with all the
-discretion of the Front Bench and fourteen years of Westminster.
-</p>
-<p>
-Marjorie was standing on the polar-bear skin rug by the fire, near that
-fierce grinning head, those ironical teeth, holding the emerald&mdash;the
-brooch&mdash;in her open hand; showing it to Victoria, who peered at it
-cynically enough. She had already heard the story of it&mdash;for the third
-time in two weeks, and for the three hundred and fifty-first in her
-life&mdash;she knew it to be false, and she dreaded to hear again the myth
-of the diplomat, the old Bohunian lie. But a good heart thumped behind that
-bony breast and Victoria Mosel spared the child.
-</p>
-<p>
-With this coming in of a new audience, Marjorie summoned them at once,
-and they crowded round in obedience to that summons; and once more to
-the listening earth she told&mdash;in her innocence!&mdash;the largesse of
-Catherine the Great to her ancestor the diplomat, in whom she firmly
-believed.
-</p>
-<p>
-Lord Galton looked at the jewel with a sort of animosity, as much as to
-say, "Put on no suspicious airs with me!" McTaggart tittered at it with
-a nervous smile, as though he liked it well enough, but was rather
-frightened of it; the Professor glared it down with an expert's pose.
-The three men stood thus, bunched round their young hostess, touching
-shoulders, while Marjorie continued her story of the de Bohun mission to
-the great Empress, adding sundry other details which in her judgment
-gave a heightened historical value to the gem.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then the gods struck.
-</p>
-<p>
-What she did, or how she did it, she never remembered. She felt a sharp
-shoot in her finger: she should have known it was due to the
-ill-calculated length of the pin. She said to herself&mdash;but in her
-heart she did not believe it&mdash;that some one had jogged her elbow.
-Anyhow, the Emerald of Catherine the Great jerked out suddenly and fell
-from her palm, making no noise. It must have fallen upon the bearskin at
-her feet, where a standard electric light upon a little table near at
-hand happened to cast a shadow. She gave a startled cry, and at once the
-three men were on their knees&mdash;yes, even the old
-Professor&mdash;groping in the fur.
-</p>
-<p>
-They were longer at their groping than one might have thought. The
-object was small, but not so small as all that. It was flat, heavy,
-metallic: it could not have rolled. It must be within a few inches, or a
-foot at the most, of the place on which its proprietress had stood.
-</p>
-<p>
-Unfortunately she moved, and in that movement no one could remember, to
-half a foot or so, exactly where it should have lain. While the three
-men still groped, and the impatient Marjorie tapped with her foot in the
-suspense of it, the unfortunate McTaggart cried excitedly, "I've got
-it!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Lord Galton at once jumped up, relieved; the Professor also extended
-upwards&mdash;less smartly; but when they had risen McTaggart was still on
-his knees. Then with his face peering into the fur of the bearskin, he
-added, "No! It's a splinter of coal,"&mdash;and he threw that fragment into
-the fire and continued to rummage.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Professor and Lord Galton looked at each other. They hesitated
-whether to go down again; they thought it better to leave it to
-McTaggart. Poor McTaggart thus remained in the abject attitude to which
-he had now been subjected for two minutes or more, becoming increasingly
-convinced that something terrible had happened.... He could not conceive
-why he should not put his hand upon the thing.... But it was not
-there.... At last, flushed, more disordered than ever, he pressed the
-fingers of his left hand upon the floor and stood upright. He was a
-little blown.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I can't find it!" he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You must find it!" said Marjorie sharply. Then, remembering herself,
-she looked at the two who were her equals and cousins and she said:
-</p>
-<p>
-"<i>One</i> of you must find it! It can't be lost! Nonsense.... Look here,
-stand back!" She pushed her poor old aunt, who was peering about in a
-futile fashion. She enlarged the circle, and then said again:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now then, you must find it! Look here, I'll find it." They went down
-again reluctantly, and she herself sank suddenly to her knees and helped
-the group.
-</p>
-<p>
-But they looked in vain. They separated the hair of the rug carefully,
-they lifted it up pettily, edge by edge, and looked beneath. They
-pressed upon it with their palms to see whether they could not find a
-lump. Then they took the poor beast up and shook him savagely. But he
-yielded no emerald. It was gone.
-</p>
-<p>
-When at last they all rose again&mdash;appalled, for the moment
-silent&mdash;Marjorie was as white as the skin upon which she trod.
-</p>
-<p>
-"It can't be lost," she said again, bitterly. "I say, it <i>can't</i> be
-lost."
-</p>
-<p>
-But lost it was.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Father," she said angrily. "Do come and look!"
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary reluctantly hoisted himself from his chair with a
-secret groan, shuffled up to the place, and looked down at the rug in a
-refined manner.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Look for it, father! Do look for it! Come, it can't be lost!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Painfully but obediently the Home Secretary went down on his knees in
-his turn and groped about, with far less chance than any other man would
-have had, of laying his hand upon the stone. He drew blank, as the
-others had, and rose with more difficulty, McTaggart helping him; he
-shuffled back, and sank again into his chair.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, well, well!" he said. "Well! Well!"
-</p>
-<p>
-There were tears in Marjorie's eyes&mdash;which was a weakness in one so
-born and in such a place, but she could hardly keep them back. They were
-tears as much of anger as of anything else. Upon Victoria Mosel's
-face&mdash;somewhat apart, and smiling awfully at the bunch of
-them&mdash;there was a look you could not see through. But upon the face
-of each of the three men who had been first down upon their
-knees&mdash;not upon the face of the Home Secretary&mdash;was now drawn
-an indefinable veil, as of instinctive protection against a censorious
-world.
-</p>
-<p>
-It had dawned upon each of them, in varying degrees of rapidity, that
-<i>he</i> was possibly suspect.
-</p>
-<p>
-It had flashed first upon the lordlet. He lived and breathed in an air
-of challenge. It would not have surprised him if he had seen some day on
-a glaring sky sign flaming up large over Piccadilly Circus and winking
-in and out to compel the eye: "Attaboy? Who pulled Attaboy? Tommy
-Galton!"
-</p>
-<p>
-The Professor got the message to his brain about a quarter of a minute
-later. He very nearly spoke&mdash;but he caught the words in time. The
-Mullingar Diamond oppressed him: all the world pointed a finger at him,
-and the air was full of demoniac whispers: "Mullingar! Mullingar!"
-</p>
-<p>
-And as for the miserable McTaggart, he was already such a worm in his
-own eyes among these exalted folk that he thought his poverty might
-alone have him arrested that very night. It struck him with a pang that,
-in his innocence, he had remained there on his knees long after the
-others had risen. Then a new shaft stabbed him. Ingenuous, he had dug
-his own grave! They would interpret that cry, "I've found it!" as the
-sudden shock of a real discovery: for him there sounded dully all
-around, "Ar-r-rest that mon!"&mdash;and he was nearly sick.
-</p>
-<p>
-So there they stood&mdash;three men, none of whom had any idea what had
-happened, and each well convinced that he was the suspect who must fight
-it out sooner or later: each at the same time firmly believing that one
-of the other two was the culprit. In Marjorie's pure mind there spread a
-growing certitude that they were all of them guilty, all of them, and
-that each of them had the emerald in his pocket&mdash;yet were there not
-three emeralds but one emerald. At least, that was how it felt. But
-within the soul of the Home Secretary&mdash;if I might so call
-it&mdash;there was a strong sense of botheration and of wishing the
-beastly thing had never happened.
-</p>
-<p>
-Under the keen inward light of Victoria Mosel's intelligence, standing
-apart, a fascinating problem was being discussed. She was delighted. It
-would occupy her for days. It was just what she liked.
-</p>
-<p>
-In all that circle of heads, showing in different degrees&mdash;Victoria's
-least of all&mdash;the mood of the mind through some transfiguration of the
-face, each silent for the moment, only one head stood frankly stamped
-with a fierce joy. It was the head of the polar bear.
-</p>
-<p>
-If he could have spoken he might&mdash;or he might not&mdash;have told
-them. It might have amused him more to keep them in suspense. His great
-red grinning open mouth and shining teeth were full of joy. His fierce
-glass eyes glared upon them mischievously. It was almost worth while
-being shot and skinned for such a revenge as this! <i>He knew where the
-emerald was</i>.... It was in his right ear.
-</p>
-<p>
-They had taken him and shaken him with great indignity, but they had
-foolishly taken him up by the hind legs. One should never take a polar
-bear up in that way, especially when it is a bear who has been a prince
-in his own country of keen wind, low shining sun, and little dancing
-seas against the ice. They had shaken him, but they had shaken&mdash;oh,
-shame!&mdash;upside down, and the more they had shaken him, the more firmly
-had they wedged the emerald in his right ear, where it so snugly lay.
-</p>
-<p>
-He could have told them, and I have hastened to tell you. Then where,
-you ask me, does the detective fun come in?
-</p>
-<p>
-You shall see!
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
-<span class="i2">Far in the Eastern Wing where, mured in stone</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Arrived at by a passage cold that ran</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Along the North o' the House, and barred with iron</span><br />
-<span class="i2">As to its windows: also by a door</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Which leads from the considerable room</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Wherein are great receptions held at Paulings</span><br />
-<span class="i2">[An Antrum gaunt, abandoned, having only</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Upon its walls the Oils of dead de Bohuns</span><br />
-<span class="i2">(Pronounced Deboons) and sundry dusty sofas:</span><br />
-<span class="i2">The Room grandiloquently named the Ballroom],</span><br />
-<span class="i2">There stand the Servants' Quarters. It is there,</span><br />
-<span class="i2">That, ruled by their dread Queen, the Housekeeper,</span><br />
-<span class="i2">And by her Coadjutor King, the Butler,</span><br />
-<span class="i2">The serfs Boonesque repose. The Cook, the Chauffeur,</span><br />
-<span class="i2">The Kitchen Maids, the Footmen, and the Boy:</span><br />
-<span class="i2">And Lord! how many others! These that night&mdash;</span><br />
-<span class="i2">That winter night of doom&mdash;held high discourse,</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Upon the EMERALD. Samuel had heard</span><br />
-<span class="i2">(While bearing in the tray of drinks, himself</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Arrayed in livery) how its disappearance</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Had flummoxed all the Toffs. "You bet your breeches!"</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Said he, to either sex, indifferent</span><br />
-<span class="i2">And indiscriminate. "You bet your breeches!</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Whoever's pinched it's got to cough it up!</span><br />
-<span class="i2">The Boss, he ain't Home Secretary, not</span><br />
-<span class="i2">For nothing!" and with that his tongue was still.</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Then spake young Gwendoline, the Tweeny Maid,</span><br />
-<span class="i2">"I pity Him or 'Er as 'as it!" Words</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Which, when she had them spoken, froze their souls&mdash;</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Nor none more starkly than the Second Housemaid's,</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Unless it were the Boy's&mdash;and so to Bed.</span>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER FOUR</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-t.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-The majestic poise of the Nordic blood is nowhere seen in greater
-perfection than in that crown of our civilization, a modest English
-Country House. Here is there no class consciousness, here is there no
-class war. Each is in his or her own place, and there is peace through
-order.
-</p>
-<p>
-To consider only the servile portion of the establishment: the Butler has
-his own dignity, and the various other males&mdash;upon whose titles I am
-a little shaky&mdash;have theirs. So the Females of the species: the Cook
-cooks; the Kitchen Attendants attend the kitchen; the Nurse nurses. So
-with the external squad: the Groom grooms; the Gardener and all his
-Assistants garden. With regularity and zeal the Footmen footle. The mere
-Maids go maidenly about their tasks. Below these specialised
-functionaries, for which Our Race is famous, comes one who may be
-regarded indifferently as the foundation of the fabric or the last rung
-of the ladder, and who is known as the Boy. On him the petty,
-unorganised, lesser work devolves, for which his Superiors are indeed
-responsible, but the mere brute labour of which is his alone.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure05"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure05.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>The Boy Ethelbert in Captivity.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-Thus it is the Boy who blacks the boots, fills all the coal scuttles and
-carries them about, lays the fires and lights them, polishes the knives,
-the silver plate&mdash;the silver itself, when there is any&mdash;and
-the antique pewter; washes up the dishes of the supper below stairs,
-cleans the door knobs and bell handles; pulls up the blinds; pulls back
-the curtains of the ground floor. Notably it is he also who conveys to
-the Upper Servants&mdash;who then shall have risen from
-slumber&mdash;the numbers of the bells that have sounded. It is he who
-opens the windows when they should be shut, and shuts them when they
-should be open&mdash;so far at least as the early hours are concerned,
-for when the Great are about this function is performed by a young man
-in uniform. It is the Boy who lays out the morning post, sets the
-newspapers in order&mdash;therein discovering the odds&mdash;lets out
-the little dog&mdash;or dogs&mdash;and after some few other trifling
-tasks accomplished, brushes and carefully folds the clothes of the male
-guests and lays them out where stronger and older men shall carry them
-up, each parcel to its room, and for that service receive an ultimate
-reward. It is the Boy who carries up the boots themselves&mdash;for
-these are defiling to the fingers!&mdash;and it is the Boy&mdash;mark
-you: this is essential to the tale, you must not miss it&mdash;<i>it is
-the Boy who picks up the rugs and shakes them</i>, room after room, a
-ritual preparatory to the settling of great clouds of dust, which,
-shortly after, not the Boy but a Maid brings down to the rugs again with
-feathery instruments and devastating cloths.
-</p>
-<p>
-Hence it was that the Boy&mdash;Ethelbert by his full baptismal name,
-but in the daily, Bert&mdash;before yet the wintry dawn was more than
-grey on that Saturday in January, whistling gaily at his task, was
-holding the polar bear up by its <i>forepaws</i> and shaking it, as in
-duty bound.
-</p>
-<p>
-His heart was gay, for he was redeemed.
-</p>
-<p>
-Not so long since, this same Ethelbert had (alas!) in company with
-youths of his own age and a little more, not yet free from the trammels
-of elementary education, purloined from a shop certain fruits: two
-bananas.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Deed might have appeared upon his record at Scotland Yard and dogged
-him through life, for he was already eight years of age and knew full
-well the wickedness of his act. He had been spared by the noble
-elasticity of the English Common Law. His sobbing widowed mother had
-seen, indeed, the shadow of the police across her threshold,
-and Ethelbert had stood in the Felons' Dock before the dud
-parliamentary lawyer who had got the local stipendiary job. But our
-Magistracy&mdash;especially that of the Stipendiary Sort&mdash;is famous
-throughout the whole world for its merciful wisdom. Young Bert had
-escaped imprisonment, as having been led away by his senior Charlie
-Gasket, who was nearly ten.
-</p>
-<p>
-He had, I say, been saved; but the memory of the peril had burnt into
-his soul. And now, though he was nearly fifteen years of age, the
-incident still stood out the sharpest of his memories. It was known to
-his lord the Butler&mdash;perhaps to his Master&mdash;but to no others. He
-had been taken into the Great House in spite of it all, because his father
-had worked upon the estate. Therefore, I say, did Ethelbert feel himself
-redeemed. But he trembled still at the apparatus of National Justice.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure06"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure06.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>The Boy Ethelbert untouched by<br />
-Civilisation.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-In the innocence of youth he whistled gently to himself. His other work
-was done; this performed, he had but now to settle the last rug, the
-Polar Bear, and then to rouse his superiors in the hierarchy below
-stairs, to lay their breakfast out and to attend thereon as minister. So
-shook he perfunctorily the Arctic Ursine Fleece, the Hyperborean
-Candour, when he heard something fall sharply at his feet. He even
-caught a flash of it as it fell. He saw it issuing from that ear of
-Thule which would hear no more; he saw it sliding down the whiteness of
-the hair and gleaming dully in the candlelight upon the polished wood of
-the flooring.
-</p>
-<p>
-There was no mistake. It was <i>IT</i>. It was that pledge of respect and
-esteem which the ever-memorable Catherine, Empress of All the Russias,
-had bestowed three lives ago upon the stalwart Bones. It was the
-heirloom of that noble House of de Bohun which Ethelbert served. It was
-the Stone on which he had heard all the domestics of the house inflamed
-in the last hours of the previous evening.
-</p>
-<p>
-There is an instinct planted in man by Mr. Darwin, which impels him to
-pick up a thing, anything dropped. That instinct Ethelbert obeyed. The
-act was half unconscious, immediate; he had slipped the Emerald into his
-pocket and was already off with a candle in one hand and the other in a
-side pocket, fondling the stone. He was off down the long stone corridor
-which led along the north of the house towards the offices; and as he
-went his mind was full of some vague intention to hand over the
-treasure-trove to those in authority&mdash;in good time.
-</p>
-<p>
-But even as he thus went up by the dim candlelight in the cold dawn,
-along that prison-like perspective of iron-barred windows and whitewash,
-with stone flags ringing to his feet, a vision of judgment arose within
-him. His teeth chattered at the memory of the police.
-</p>
-<p>
-Ethelbert, that product of no more than an elementary education, had
-received some general outline of the world from cinemas and from police
-reports, which that same education enabled him to read in the more
-widely circulated Sunday papers.
-</p>
-<p>
-He could not have told you that society was organized to the advantage
-of circles to which he did not belong, and to the disadvantage of his
-own; but he did know that this piece of green glass in its
-leaden-coloured setting of hideous lines would sell for a sum that would
-free him from servitude for ever. He also knew that to be found
-possessed of it would involve a far worse servitude; a servitude not to
-the Gentry but to the Force, and lasting, one way or another, the whole
-of his life. He knew that such servitude was torture. The people of his
-world knew all those things. Therefore did not the emerald represent to
-Ethelbert immediate wealth so much as a vision of confinement alone in
-a small mechanical cell; upon release, a life-long chain binding him as
-an informer and spy over whom further imprisonment should hang at will;
-a crushing and overwhelming tyranny; and perhaps at last a secret and
-abominable death. Of all these things had young Bert's mind been full
-from very early years, for all these things still haunt the distorted
-fancy of the poor.
-</p>
-<p>
-He saw himself presenting with trembling hand this Thing of Power, this
-Emerald, to his Emperor the Butler; he imagined a first awful and
-immediate trial at the hands of that Justiciar, and later an
-overwhelming sentence from the Master himself. He heard the key turning
-in the door of his room; he saw himself a gibbering prisoner therein; he
-heard the voices of the Inspector and his accompanying Sergeant; he felt
-the gyves upon his wrist.
-</p>
-<p>
-All this in the few seconds between the West Room of Paulings and the
-offices built out of the extreme east.
-</p>
-<p>
-So was Ethelbert's mind made up. For his good angel, failing to
-penetrate the first thick skin of stupidity and to suggest the simple
-delivery of the gem to his superiors, at any rate got through the second
-skin and suggested a second best.
-</p>
-<p>
-He had the brushing of the clothes. He would put it into the pocket of
-some one of the guests, and then he could breathe freely.
-</p>
-<p>
-Which guest should it be? No one was yet astir; he was free to choose.
-There was a minute or two before the clock would strike the half hour
-and bid him summon the earliest riser&mdash;after himself&mdash;the
-kitchen-maid. Her name, Kathleen Parkinson, I take the liberty of giving
-you, although she will appear no more in these pages.
-</p>
-<p>
-There lay the three little piles of clothes, to be carefully brushed and
-folded up by himself, within the next half hour, and among them how
-could a youth of romantic genius hesitate? Did not every novelette,
-every Sunday paper, every cinema, point with unerring finger to the
-lord? Are not lords and jewels made one for the other, like love and
-laughter, or politics and stocks and shares? The lord could not but be
-the recipient of the emerald, and when he should have received it, who
-fitter than he to deal with such trifles? Bert could see him in his
-mind's eye, and hear him in his mind's ear, strolling up to the Master
-of the House and saying, in that airy accent which had always so
-astonished him in the wealthy:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, I say, Humph, I found the bloody thing this morning and picked it
-up&mdash;what?"
-</p>
-<p>
-Now into which pocket of Lord Galton's quiet blue suit should it go?
-Into the right-hand trousers pocket; for therein, as Bert knew by
-fruitful search, his lordship carried loose change. From the waistcoat
-it might fall out. In the coat pockets it might lurk for long without
-being found; in Lord Galton's right-hand trousers pocket, therefore, did
-the emerald go, to the full depth thereof. The garment was folded again
-very neatly. And all was well.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-In the fulness of time, the sun being already risen&mdash;yes, for an
-hour or more&mdash;one of those older young domestics of whom I have
-spoken bore up a parcel of clothes and a can of hot water to Lord
-Galton's door. All the ritual of these palaces was gone through. The
-socks were turned inside out, the shirt laid out like a corpse in its
-shroud, the pile of brushed and folded clothes set upon a chair, the
-fire lit&mdash;as though the room were not already stifling with a
-hot-air machine; the window opened wider, as though the piercing air had
-not already started a draught which had fought with the hot air all
-night long. The under-upper servant glided away, and Lord Galton got out
-of bed and shaved and washed and dressed; considering in his mind what
-all others woke to consider in that same house on that same morning, but
-especially the Fated Three: the Emerald.
-</p>
-<p>
-He looked at his watch; it was a quarter past nine. He stood gazing out
-of the window at the frosty mist on the damp gaunt trees of the park,
-and tried to estimate how he really stood in the minds of those about
-him.
-</p>
-<p>
-Who would believe that he knew nothing of the stone? Which of them had
-heard&mdash;several of them, he knew&mdash;which of them <i>believed</i>
-that story about Attaboy? Certainly his host, almost certainly
-Vic&mdash;she knew everything. He was not quite certain that she had not
-meant to rag him about it in something she had said during the day
-before. She would not misunderstand, but she knew about it.
-</p>
-<p>
-Did that damned greasy fellow the journalist know? He doubted it; they
-never did know the things that counted. And as for the Don, he might as
-well have suspected the first imbecile in the County Asylum.
-</p>
-<p>
-Marjorie did not know; he was pretty sure of that by her way to him. But
-still ... it was known enough; it was known to two.... After all, what
-was pulling a horse, and what had it to do with pinching emeralds,
-anyhow? ... Yet ... yet ... he could not leave Paulings till it was
-cleared up.... If the damned thing turned up in town in some receiver's
-shop they might connect it with him.... He was glad he hadn't brought a
-man.... No, he must stay till it was cleared up. It was a damned
-nuisance. They were getting up a party on Sunday night at the Posts.
-There was to be a rich young fool from Ireland whom they would all play
-with. Those occasions were not so common nowadays. But he must sacrifice
-it. He must stay on.
-</p>
-<p>
-He made his decision; he slowly picked up the small change off his
-dressing table and shuffled it into his trousers pocket. Then he
-mechanically followed it with his hand, and found something that was not
-a coin....
-</p>
-<p>
-At first he had the grotesque idea that he was handling a pebble, though
-how it could have got there he could not conceive. Then a matchbox, for
-it was smooth and cold.... When he pulled it out and saw what it was,
-his whole mind went through a violent shock of revulsion.
-</p>
-<p>
-He was so sickened, strong as he was, that he had to sit down and
-recover himself. And as he so sat, he fixed the dreadful thing with his
-eye, holding it there between the fingers of his right hand, unmoving.
-</p>
-<p>
-Now indeed was a resolution to be taken!
-</p>
-<p>
-At first his mind would not work. A man possessed of a thing, no matter
-what he does with it, carries his communications about with him, leaves
-traces about of his possession. If he threw it out of the window, it
-would be found within the radius of such a throw. There was nowhere in
-the room where he would dare to hide it. If he dropped it as he went
-downstairs, a servant might pass and find it within a minute, connecting
-him with what was so found.
-</p>
-<p>
-Give it back himself he dared not. That would mean, "Poor Tommy! He gave
-way, but he did the honest thing in the end." He would be branded for
-life. Attaboy was enough, without that.
-</p>
-<p>
-At first the easiest course lured him; to say nothing; to keep it upon
-his person until everything had blown over; then to take it up with him
-to town.... Then? ... He could not help remembering how Alfred had told
-him about his uncle and the cutting establishment in Amsterdam. It was
-all mixed up with the committee for inquiring into the Meldon
-business when there was that trouble in Parliament a few years
-before.... It seemed that one could have a stone cut and get it back
-unrecognisable.... Then he thrust the thought out of his mind and
-shuddered a little at the danger.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure07"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure07.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Lord Galton discovers the Emerald.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-But if he kept it, where should he put it? Where could he put it so as
-to be certain during the night&mdash;to be <i>absolutely</i>
-certain&mdash;that no one could find it with him or near him? What if he
-should fall faint or ill? What if ... No, there was only one thing to be
-done. He must pass it on. No matter what tale he told&mdash;even if he
-told the truth&mdash;to appear with it in his possession and to make an
-explanation was to damn himself finally, and that just at the moment his
-half-damnation on the turf was beginning to be forgotten.... He must
-pass it on.... He must pass it on.
-</p>
-<p>
-There was one obvious repository; an aged fool of that profession whose
-incompetence is stamped upon them; a native dupe. It should go into the
-pocket of his distinguished cousin, the Professor; it should pass into
-the unwitting possession of the expert on dodekahedral crystals. His
-mind thus decided, he was half at peace.
-</p>
-<p>
-Lord Galton went down to breakfast. He found his host already at the
-table. The others came in gradually, and no one talked of the stone; nor
-upon anything else to speak of&mdash;for of the stone everyone was
-thinking.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was, naturally, the learned cousin, the Professor, who first put in
-the word that should not have been spoken. He did it somewhere about the
-jam, and when the Home Secretary was already feeling the need for a
-pipe. Perhaps food had strengthened him. He piped up in his quavering
-voice:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah! Any news about the emerald, Humphrey? Any news this morning about
-the emerald? About the emerald? ... the emerald? ... the emerald?"
-</p>
-<p>
-There is a natural sequence in fools, as in all others of God's
-creatures. Aunt Amelia came in a good second.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, yes, Humphrey," she bleated, in that woolly-mutton voice which
-fitted her as does sodden mist a marshy formless hill. "Is there any
-news about the emerald?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"There is hardly likely to be, Amelia," said her brother, as tartly as
-he could be got to say anything, for long years of suave politician's
-make-believe had untartled his tongue.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I thought," said Aunt Amelia in self-defense, "that some servant might
-have found it and told you."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, they have not," said her brother, shortly; and there was silence.
-</p>
-<p>
-The journalist opened his mouth&mdash;which he should not have
-done&mdash;and began rather too loudly, and in too high a pitch:
-</p>
-<p>
-"What I think, you know ..." and then stopped suddenly&mdash;which put him
-in no better case.
-</p>
-<p>
-What Victoria Mosel would have said nobody knew, for she took her
-breakfast in bed&mdash;always. But Marjorie had come down in the midst of
-this, and spoke sharply. She had slept little and her temper was on
-edge.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, that's enough about the emerald!" she said. "What's the good of
-talking of it <i>now</i>?" Then she gave one sweeping look around, like a
-searchlight trying to spot a boat, and betook herself to the jam.
-</p>
-<p>
-The one who said nothing was the young racing man with the emerald in
-his trousers pocket. He was not sure of it&mdash;he touched its pin point
-two or three times furtively to make certain the gem had not dropped out;
-and then he began, by way of clearing the air, to talk to the learned
-Professor about indifferent things.
-</p>
-<p>
-But these indifferent things had a purport in them. For first he talked
-of the University, then of that degraded College, St. Filbert's, and so
-worked things round to the infamous B. Leader, and that fairly started
-his companion off&mdash;as Lord Galton had intended he should be started.
-</p>
-<p>
-The old Don was still at it when they got up from the breakfast table.
-He was shepherded&mdash;though he did not know that he was being
-shepherded&mdash;by the younger man, out into the hall, helped into his
-rusty overcoat, led out through the glass doors into the park, and there
-did Lord Galton patiently listen to his academic victim for something over
-a quarter of an hour, as they walked side by side up the swept gravel to
-the very far end of the avenue, and then turned back again towards the
-house.
-</p>
-<p>
-Long before they thus faced about, the learned cousin's mind was a
-thousand miles away from reality. The harangue which poured forth
-against the infamous B. Leader needed but little sympathetic
-jogging&mdash;a word here and there&mdash;from his companion. His soul
-was not in his body. You might have stuck a pin into him, and he would
-not have felt it; and Lord Galton, who knew men nearly as well as he
-knew horses&mdash;at least on the side of their weaknesses&mdash;felt
-secure that the moment had come. And as he leaned forward,
-sympathetically close to the left side of his companion, he gently
-dropped into the loose, wrinkled side pocket of the rusty overcoat that
-perilous gem, and felt as though he had cast off a garment of lead.
-</p>
-<p>
-The expert in dodekahedral crystals still poured out unceasingly and
-shrilly his grievance, with many a "Would you believe it?" and "If you
-please!" and "Then he actually wrote to the Society at Berne," and so
-on; and Lord Galton, almost grateful in the new lightness of his heart,
-applauded heartily and loudly marvelled that the Society at Berne did
-not drum Leader out of their ranks with every mark of infamy.
-</p>
-<p>
-"So," he thought, as they came into the house again&mdash;the quavering
-voice of the Crystallographer still more emphatic within four
-walls&mdash;"salvation comes with a little intelligence, a little decision,
-and a little opportunity."
-</p>
-<p>
-He helped the old fool out of his overcoat; hung it up for him on a peg,
-and saw its owner go shambling off to his books.
-</p>
-<p>
-Lord Galton was pleased with himself; he saw his way fairly straight
-before him, but he would do nothing hastily ... which might flurry the
-head of the house.... It would be a wise and a small risk, to bide his
-time. He would bide it till the noon post had come in, until his host
-had looked at his letters. Then only would he take the next step in his
-programme. He sauntered out again into the Park, where he would feel the
-strain of waiting less, with a walk to occupy him. He looked back over
-his shoulder when he had got round towards the lodge, and saw for one
-moment through the window of the library his aged relative pottering
-among the shelves. He was safe till lunch. And Lord Galton, though all
-alone, smiled.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-The young man walked briskly for a couple of miles, thinking clearly and
-concisely. He came back to Paulings through the mill gate, up by the
-stables, walking strongly and well. He knew exactly what he had to do.
-</p>
-<p>
-He met one of the servants, and asked where Mr. de Bohun might be, and
-was told he was in the garage; sought him there, and found him giving
-orders about a repair, and trying&mdash;unsuccessfully&mdash;to understand
-whether the proud chauffeur were lying or no.
-</p>
-<p>
-He went straight up to his cousin, who turned round at hearing his step,
-and said in a very low voice, and quickly:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Let me see you in your study alone for a moment. It is urgent!"
-</p>
-<p>
-And the Home Secretary, glancing up hurriedly with a half-frightened
-look, said, "Yes? Certainly! Come."
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER FIVE</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-l.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-Lord Galton stood by the Home Secretary in his study, looked round
-suddenly, and said, "May I lock the door?" locked it without leave and
-then came back and began talking.
-</p>
-<p>
-The young fellow talked as impressively as ever he had talked when he
-was giving instructions to a jockey, or rather, to the go-between who
-took the risk. He knew how to talk, as do most men who are successful in
-giving instructions to jockeys. His sentences came, weighty, short,
-decisive, and each had its effect. Men said he would have done well in
-the House of Commons, but the men who have said that do not know the
-House of Commons. Yes, he would have done well in the House of Commons:
-not by oratory, but by what I may call the Attaboy side of his
-character. He began:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Humphrey, I'm going to tell you about the emerald. I think I know where
-it is."
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary looked up, startled; but he did not interrupt.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I want to begin by saying that I know I am myself under suspicion."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, my dear Tommy," began his unfortunate host. But the younger man put
-up a hand like a slab of stone.
-</p>
-<p>
-"No," he said. "There's no time to be wasted, and we must have things
-absolutely clear. One of us three must have got that brooch. No doubt we
-are all under suspicion&mdash;but I know why I am under suspicion. People
-say I pulled a horse." Again the Home Secretary would have interrupted, but
-the heavy hand made an impatient gesture, and again he checked himself.
-"Marjorie mayn't believe it, and of course that old fool of a Cousin
-Bill hasn't heard of it; and as for that journalist fellow McTibbert, or
-whatever his name is, he may or may not have; I don't care. But anyhow,
-you know it. <i>You've</i> heard all about it!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"But, my dear Tommy," broke in the Home Secretary, lying eagerly and
-almost with affection, "I don't believe it. Believe me, I don't believe
-it. Do you suppose," he added with beautiful tact, "that if I believed
-it I'd have you here at Paulings?"
-</p>
-<p>
-Lord Galton just showed at the muscles of the mouth what a fool he
-thought the man. He went on undisturbed.
-</p>
-<p>
-"It's nothing to do with the value of the lie&mdash;they haven't turned me
-out of the Posts, for that matter; nor warned me off. But the point is,
-the story has gone the rounds. A man that would cheat would steal. Also
-you know I'm on the rocks, and therefore I'm under suspicion. Now we're
-all three under suspicion, as I say. That old ass, Cousin Bill, got
-mixed up with the Mullingar Diamond years ago&mdash;too much of a fool to
-pinch it for selling; wanted to look at it through one of his
-contraptions. Anyhow, he can't keep his hands off crystals. And an
-emerald's a crystal."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Is it?" asked the Head of the Family with great interest.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I think so&mdash;I don't know," said Galton impatiently. "Anyhow, it's a
-jewel, a precious stone&mdash;what?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, yes! It's a jewel, yes, a precious stone. Oh, yes," admitted
-Humphrey de Bohun.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well then, so's a diamond. A man who'll take diamonds'll take
-emeralds&mdash;what? ... Then there's that journalist fellow&mdash;he's
-under suspicion because he's a journalist; they're all on their uppers, and
-you told me yourself about the one who stole the spoons when you were at
-the Board of Works."
-</p>
-<p>
-A faint smile appeared for a moment on the face of his host. It was his
-favourite funny story&mdash;all about a journalist who once stole some
-government spoons. He had told it on every occasion. He told it to
-journalists. But then he was never really featured by the Press.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now of those three," went on Lord Galton, rather more slowly, and
-separating his words, "the man who has got it is our miserable old
-family goat, Cousin Bill...."
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary started.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure08"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure08.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Lord Galton explains to the Home Secretary his<br />
-theory&mdash;or rather, certitude&mdash;upon the<br />
-whereabouts of the Great Emerald.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-"Yes, I know what you'll say ... he got the fright of his life over the
-Mullingar Diamond. You'd say he'd never dream of doing it in the house
-of the head of the family." (A dignified look passed over the features
-of the Chieftain of the de Bohuns.) "Then he's such a clumsy old ass
-that you can't imagine him doing it so quickly. After all, it took him
-half an hour to fish the Mullingar Diamond out of an open drawer, and
-even then he left things topsy-turvy. You'll say all that, and if I were
-just guessing I'd half agree with you. But I'm not guessing. And I tell
-you <i>he's got it</i>. I don't pretend to do any of this private
-detective work, and I've never read one of their rotten mystery stories
-in my life. That's how I've kept my common sense clear&mdash;men who are
-blown upon need their wits about them. I know Bill's got it for a very
-simple reason&mdash;<i>I've seen it in his hand with my own eyes</i>.
-Some one told the old goat that the place to hide anything was where it
-would be most obvious and simple. He's got it in the left-hand pocket of
-that damned smelly overcoat he wears; but he's such a nervous old balmy
-that he can't help fingering it the whole time; and when he thinks no
-one's looking he pulls it half out and looks at it furtively out of the
-corner of his eye. Dons are always as mad as hatters. He did it three
-separate times while we were out walking just now. He couldn't help
-himself. He's too much shut up inside his own addled head to notice
-other people. And I'll tell you something else, which is also common
-sense. He won't take it out of that pocket till he's left the house. An
-overcoat's the only thing they don't brush or fold up, in this house;
-you're old-fashioned, with these things on pegs and not on marble
-tables. He knows that. It'll hang there on the peg till he goes away.
-That's the whole point of leaving it in such a place.... <i>And it's
-there now</i>. You look for it there, and you'll find it."
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary put on his expression of gravity in the third
-degree&mdash;the expression with which he would meet a deputation for
-saving an innocent man from the gallows and gratify them with a majestic
-refusal.
-</p>
-<p>
-"What you say, Tommy," he began, slowly, "is very serious. Very serious
-indeed. In my judgment ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, look here," said Lord Galton impatiently, "cut out all that! He's
-not in the hall. He went off to the library, and when he gets there he
-strikes root. There'll be no one about&mdash;they're laying the table. Come
-with me, and I'll prove it."
-</p>
-<p>
-"I hesitate ..." began the Home Secretary. His powerful young relative,
-by way of reply, hooked him by the arm, unlocked the door, and marched
-him straight out into the hall. The ghost of what might well have been
-an ancestor&mdash;for we all have such things&mdash;must have mourned,
-if, as such things do, it had taken up its kennel in a suit of armour
-standing by the side of the fireplace in the hall: it would have mourned
-to see the head of the de Bohuns stand by while the deed was done.
-</p>
-<p>
-Lord Galton went smartly up to the bunch of coats, plunged his hand into
-the left-hand pocket of that one wretched old garment, and turned it
-sharply inside out, so that the damning evidence should fall before his
-cousin's eyes. There fell out no small amount of gathered dirt, some
-paper torn into minute fragments, and a stub of pencil; also a rather
-repulsive handkerchief&mdash;nothing more. Nothing rang upon the hall
-floor. There was no Emerald.
-</p>
-<p>
-Lord Galton for once did a weak thing&mdash;or a superstitious one. As
-though not trusting his senses, he picked the repulsive handkerchief up and
-shook it. But there was no emerald. Indeed, one could see and hear by
-the way it had fallen that there was no emerald within its large but
-unattractive folds. He knew that well enough before he touched the
-rag&mdash;but it was a forlorn hope.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was the older man who hastily picked up these evidences, not of the
-Professor's dishonour, but his own, and rapidly put them back where they
-belonged; darting a glance over his left shoulder and sighing with
-relief to find that there was still no one about, not the sound of a
-distant footfall, not the glide of a serf. His companion's face was
-darker and flushed.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I could have sworn ..." he opened. Then he added, murmuring, "He must
-have taken it away."
-</p>
-<p>
-"I wish we hadn't ..." began the Home Secretary, and then switched off
-to, "You're quite sure you saw it with your own eyes, Tommy?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Absolutely certain," said the young man, with a fearless steady gaze,
-and proud to be telling one truth at least.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary held his chin in his hand, stood silent for a good
-quarter of a minute, and then said something characteristic of his
-profession as a statesman. He said, "Humm!"
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-What had happened?
-</p>
-<p>
-Dear&mdash;or, if that is too familiar a term&mdash;charming reader,
-this is not one of the detective stories of commerce. You shall know all
-about it beforehand, as you have already known all about it, step by
-step. You shall be subjected to no torture of suspense. We will leave
-that to the people of our story. They were born for it.
-</p>
-<p>
-What had happened was simple enough. The Professor had gone off to the
-library. He wanted to make certain of the Society at Berne in the
-<i>Almanac de Gotha</i>. With men such as he, an obsession having cropped
-up has a horrid fascination for the mind and holds it. He was worrying
-about the exact title: whether it was Crystallographique, or
-Crystallographische, or de Crystallographic. He was determined to get it
-right.
-</p>
-<p>
-He kept on talking to himself, as was his learned habit, repeating with
-a hideous smile the words, "Crystals ... ah! yes ... crystals....
-Crystals, eh? Crystals ... yes.... Crystallograph ... something, eh? Now
-then, it'll be among the books of reference, eh? Crystals.... Oh, what a
-dirty trick that was of Leader to play!" His left hand was fumbling in
-the left-hand pocket, where he always kept those indispensable
-instruments of research, his large tortoise-shell spectacles. His hand
-groped. He muttered the word "Berne" three times in less and less
-confident tones. Then the message so tardily conveyed reached his
-erudite brain. "Oh! ... I've lost my spectacles!"
-</p>
-<p>
-He never got used to the shock of losing his spectacles, though he
-suffered from it a dozen times a day. Each time he lost them it was all
-up with him; each time he went through a crisis. Here he was in the
-depths of the country and without eyes! There was a touch of agony in
-his muttering now, as came louder the words, "My spectacles, oh, ah! my
-spectacles ... now where could I ..." He bent his powerful will to the
-control of his, if possible, less powerful memory; he traced events back
-one after the other for a good three minutes, and then he remembered
-that he had gone out in his overcoat and had left it hanging in the
-hall.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure09"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure09.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>The Professor gave an odd little scream like a shot<br />
-rabbit.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-He shambled out and groped in the recesses of the left-hand pocket, and
-there, side by side with his familiar handkerchief, the faithful
-companion of many days, was the feel of the rough spectacle case; it was
-all right, but also, what annoyed him a little, a pebble. It was natural
-that pebbles should get into one's pockets when one was out walking in
-the country; at least, he thought it was. He thought it went with those
-terrible animals called cows, and all that sort of thing. But he pulled
-it out mechanically, felt the prick of a pin and then gave an odd little
-scream, like a shot rabbit. Next (excuse him!) he rapped out a frightful
-oath. "My God!" cried the aged blasphemer. No less. But the violence of
-his emotion must have shaken his standards.
-</p>
-<p>
-He stood there, with the emerald in the palm of his right hand, staring
-at it, distraught. And once more in his bewilderment he fell to
-repeating the name of his Creator&mdash;upon whose existence indeed, he had
-more than once learnedly discoursed, concluding upon the whole against
-it.
-</p>
-<p>
-It is said that under the strain of very severe emotion men do things
-unnatural, out of themselves. And behold! Professor William de Bohun
-behaved for the next half hour like a whole group of characters, any one
-of whom you would have said he could not have thrown himself into for
-the world. Terror inspired him, and the tragic sense of impending doom.
-</p>
-<p>
-It must be got rid of!
-</p>
-<p>
-He had a mad impulse to swallow it. Luckily he restrained it in time: it
-was too big, its metal fastenings too angular for health; and then,
-there was the pin.
-</p>
-<p>
-After he had given up the swallowing baulk, another, far more feasible,
-arose and formed itself more clearly. There appeared before his mind's
-eye a young, round naïve face, fresh to the world, an awkward figure,
-the whole standing out against the background of known poverty. It was
-the figure of McTaggart, the journalist.
-</p>
-<p>
-A wicked glint illumined the Professor's eye.
-</p>
-
-<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
-<span class="i2">"Oh! Baleful, hellish light, thus to suffuse</span><br />
-<span class="i2">The inactive optic, wontedly so dulled,</span><br />
-<span class="i2">But now with evil purpose all inflamed!"</span>
-</div></div>
-
-<p>
-as Milton has it in the matter of the fish-god, Dagon.
-</p>
-<p>
-He made no excuses for himself. He recked nothing of the young man's
-ruin. He plunged heartily and heavily into sin. As his colleague the
-Professor of Pastoral Theology had once finely quoted in his Luther
-Commemoration Lecture, "<i>Si peccas pecca fortiter</i>."
-</p>
-<p>
-It is generally held by the more liberal school among theologians that
-man acting of his own free will is not mastered by an external evil
-impulse, but may well submit to it.
-</p>
-<p>
-So it was with Cousin William on this never-to-be-forgotten occasion of
-his chief downfall.
-</p>
-<p>
-A Minor Devil happened at that moment to be wandering rather emptily
-through Paulings, seeking what he might devour. He was hungry, poor
-spirit; he had eaten nothing since he had left his own place at midnight
-and he had got lost in the fog all morning. He had almost caught a small
-housemaid, but she had slipped away through the efforts of her patron
-saint, sweet Millicent, and left him perfectly ravenous. It was almost
-noon and devils are not built for fasting. Judge then his joy at coming,
-by pure chance, upon this evil old man. He almost jumped out of his
-black fiendish skin for joy to perceive the flashing violet light which
-surrounds, in the eyes of supernatural beings, the head of a wicked man.
-He spotted it first from a corner of the hall where he had just come out
-of a corridor. He rubbed his hands together and even flapped his clawed
-wings in his excitement. He flew up to the Professor and began pouring
-all sorts of excellent suggestions into his ear&mdash;his left ear.
-</p>
-<p>
-Young McTaggart could play billiards ... the Professor had heard them
-say that ... young McTaggart was probably proud of his billiards ... he
-could be got to go round the table exhibiting his billiards. He would
-take off his coat before exhibiting his billiards. And when the coat was
-once off, and its owner's eye was concentrated on the billiard table ...
-oh, then!...
-</p>
-<p>
-The Devil, who can see through walls, gently shepherded his pupil into
-the little room next the library where the overflow of books was kept.
-That door, with horrid smile, the old conspirator opened; and there,
-indeed, he found the youth, looking miserably enough out of the window
-with his hands in his trousers pockets. He had slunk into that
-inhospitable fireless den in order to be free for a while from the
-terrors of high society.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah, Mr. McTaggart, Mr. McTaggart, Mr. McTaggart!" carolled the
-scientist&mdash;and as he said it he opened his arms wide in a most genial
-gesture. "I've been looking for you everywhere!" There slyly wagging a
-knotted forefinger, "And I wonder if you can guess why? Eh? Why? Guess
-why!" Which words said, and smiling still broader, he repeated them once
-more three times, as was his wont, and then added: "I wonder whether you
-can guess why, Mr. McTaggart, whether you can guess why ... whether you
-can guess why?"
-</p>
-<p>
-The Devil was now so happy that he could hardly refrain from manifesting
-himself, which would have been fatal. He whisked all round the room,
-jeering at McTaggart.
-</p>
-<p>
-Poor young Mr. McTaggart! He had been all night and all that morning a
-most unhappy man. He exaggerated in his own mind the suspicions under
-which he lay. He was too innocent to believe that he shared it with such
-exalted beings as the lord and the Professor, of whom&mdash;though he had
-never heard his name&mdash;he was assured the fame to be European, and who,
-anyhow, was connected by blood with a cabinet minister.
-</p>
-<p>
-The lad imagined himself watched by a thousand eyes. He dared not take
-his leave, and yet he was in hell during those hours he passed at
-Paulings. He would have been unhappy anyhow, for it was not his world;
-but to be within all that set and at the same time a marked
-criminal&mdash;for that is what he felt himself to be&mdash;was almost
-intolerable. How he had sprung up when the learned Ancient approached
-him, with those seeming kindly eyes! Ah! had McTaggart enjoyed a few
-more years of human experience he would have seen in those eyes such a
-mixture of cunning and evil joy as might have put him on his guard. But
-no; he thought that in his loneliness he had found a friend. Who
-knew?&mdash;perhaps a supporter.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Professor's plan was simple, but McTaggart was simpler still.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure10"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure10.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Sudden interest in the game of Billiards upon the<br />
-part of the Professor of Crystallography<br />
-to the University.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-"Mr. McTaggart," said the Ancient, with horrible geniality, "I hear that
-you are astonishing at billiards.... Billiards, billiards, yes,
-billiards.... Billiards. The Home Secretary was telling me, Humphrey, I
-mean, my cousin, my cousin Humphrey ... the Home Secretary, yes ... the
-Home Secretary was telling me that you were astonishing at billiards.
-Now you know"&mdash;and here he went so far as to make a step sideways and
-seize the young man by the arm&mdash;"it is the one thing I can watch for
-hours ... billiards ... good billiards.... I have gone into the
-mechanics of the thing"&mdash;he was lying freely, and gambling, rightly,
-on the idea that his companion could not distinguish between
-Crystallography and any other science&mdash;"and it fascinates me ...
-fascinates me ... oh! fascinates me. I wonder whether&mdash;" and in a
-fashion which would have been crude to any other man, but to the lonely
-McTaggart was heavenly kindness, he urged with linked arm and long
-sidling crablike step towards the billiard-room.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was in the Professor's conception of things that when one is
-deceiving a fellow being one must talk the whole time. He is not the
-only one to suffer from that delusion.
-</p>
-<p>
-He talked all the way to the billiard-room; he talked while McTaggart
-was pulling off the cloth; he talked while McTaggart was putting on the
-lights to see clearly on that dim January day; he talked while McTaggart
-was chalking his cue and thoughtfully placing the three balls in
-position.
-</p>
-<p>
-The torrent of rapid words&mdash;all dealing with excellency at
-billiards, all squeaky&mdash;was interrupted only at one moment. It was
-the moment when McTaggart did what he had been expected to do&mdash;the
-moment when he took off his coat and threw it on the leather cushions by
-the side of his newly-made and slightly eccentric friend.
-</p>
-<p>
-The sight of that coat so thrown immediately by his side, and subject to
-his hand, almost choked the senile conspirator with joy. But he
-recovered himself, and still poured out a torrent of repeated words as
-the young fellow walked slowly round the table, getting absorbed in a
-continuous break. The Professor interrupted that verbal spate only now
-and then to gaze with a murderous keenness at a projected stroke and to
-mutter "Marvellous!" two or three times; but all the while his heart was
-failing him. It was not the only mean thing he had done in his life by a
-long chalk. He had spent the whole of his life doing nothing but mean
-things; but it was the first actively and perhaps dangerously wrong
-thing the old booby had ever dared to do: for he did not count the
-Mullingar Diamond&mdash;that was in the cause of Science, and in the cause
-of Science you can do anything.
-</p>
-<p>
-But the Devil chose his moment for him; it was a moment of silence when
-young McTaggart was waiting long and breathlessly to be certain of a
-stroke that would bring his break over the hundred. His back was turned
-to the Professor; he was intent upon his play.
-</p>
-<p>
-The old bony hand, with the gesture of one that takes rather than gives,
-put the emerald into a side pocket of the coat, where lay he knew not
-what&mdash;but in point of fact, a tobacco pouch, a pipe, a pencil, and
-a piece of chocolate&mdash;of all things in the world!&mdash;no longer
-clean. Nor had the Emerald ever been in such society before, from the
-day when it had started life in the splendid court of Moscovy to these
-last evil days of ours.
-</p>
-<p>
-McTaggart had brought off his shot: his break was 102, and the spot and
-the red lay perfect for a cannon and red in the pocket.
-</p>
-<p>
-But you exaggerate the diplomatic value of the Professor if you think
-that he had the wit to continue his stream of gabble after the deed was
-done.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was lucky for him that he was dealing with the candour of youth, or
-that abrupt retreat of his from the scene of his crime would have
-brought suspicion. For, his deed accomplished, he simply got up with a
-jerk, dropped all attention to the play, looked at his watch, muttered
-the time of day with an exclamation, and sidled out of the room, leaving
-his companion marooned ... and with him, full of success, went the
-Lesser Devil.
-</p>
-<p>
-McTaggart could do without him; he went on playing for another ten
-minutes or so, till the break ended, and had reached the pretty figure
-of 151. Then he in turn looked at his watch in his waistcoat pocket,
-found it would be time for luncheon in a few minutes, put up his cue,
-and sadly resumed his coat.
-</p>
-<p>
-Had he been of those who smoke all day he would have pulled out his
-pipe, and ten to one would have found the thing lurking there next his
-tobacco; but he thought of the meal coming on, and much more did he
-think with dread that it would be breaking some mysterious etiquette of
-country houses if he were to smoke a pipe. He would not dare to do it
-till he saw some one of his betters at the same work. For the same
-reason, after he had heard them going towards the dining-room and had
-joined them, he was too nervous to put his hands in his pockets in a
-gesture of repose. He kept them dangling in his extreme anxiety to
-commit no solecism. He moved nervously about amid the sullen silence of
-the rest and wondered a little why the burst of geniality upon the part
-of the man of gems should have dried up so suddenly. For not a word more
-did the Professor speak to him; and all through luncheon McTaggart sat
-there in the same terror and the same misfortune of soul, never daring
-to speak some artificial word during the rare moments when anyone broke
-the silence.
-</p>
-<p>
-They had not yet risen from table; he was still wondering what one did
-at the end of luncheon in the houses of the great&mdash;at what point one
-got up, whether immediately after one's host or simultaneously with one's
-host; whether the women went out first, as he knew they did at dinner;
-whether it was his duty to open the door for them&mdash;when Lord Galton
-pulled out his pipe, filled it deliberately enough, and lit it. After
-the easy manners of our happy times he slowly and with deliberation blew
-a cloud of smoke across the board which wreathed itself, not
-ungracefully, about the venerable head of Aunt Amelia. So natural an
-action was followed by his host, who in turn thoughtfully pulled out his
-own pipe and lit it, as he rose to fetch himself wine: he mixed tobacco
-and wine, did Humphrey de Bohun.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Then," thought McTaggart to himself, in an agony of desire for tobacco,
-"it seems this kind of thing <i>can</i> be done,"&mdash;and he felt for his
-pipe, and pulled out his pouch.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure11"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure11.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Mr. McTaggart discovers the Emerald.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-Now there happened to be in the room at that moment an Angel. He had
-come to Paulings express to counteract the Devil who had been putting in
-such strong work on the Professor, and the Angel saved the quill driver,
-whom, for his poverty, he loved. For that innocent, finding something
-that felt like his slab of chocolate in among his tobacco, and knowing
-himself to be well capable of having put it there, was just about to
-pull it out, and was already speculating on what sort of flavour
-chocolate gave to Bondman&mdash;or Bondman to chocolate&mdash;when the
-Angel seized his wrist and pinned it. He did not know the Angel was
-doing this&mdash;we never know our luck&mdash;he could not have told you
-what happened, except that he hesitated, and being of the opposite sex,
-was not lost. But for the Angel, he would have pulled out the thing
-before them all, and said, "Hallo, what's this?" and there would have
-been an end of McTaggart. Instead of which the Angel, with angelic
-swiftness, put a thought into his head.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Don't pull out that lump of chocolate! It will make you look a fool.
-The great don't eat chocolate, except out of large expensive wooden
-boxes with Japanese pictures outside; elaborate boxes. The rich do not
-carry half-broken slabs of chocolate in their pockets&mdash;still less in
-their tobacco pouches!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Therefore was it that McTaggart did not take out the lump, whatever it
-was; he grasped a fingerful of tobacco and peered down with one eye into
-the recesses of the pouch. When he saw what was there, his heart stopped
-beating! For a moment he felt faint and giddy.... But the angel firmly
-put the pouch back again, leaving the tobacco in his fingers, and with
-shaking hand he filled his pipe, and with shaking hand he lit it!
-</p>
-<p>
-What the devil?
-</p>
-<p>
-How on earth ...?
-</p>
-<p>
-The unfortunate boy actually examined his own mind to see whether he
-could possibly have done such a thing, and then forgotten it&mdash;have
-done it inadvertently. Then he thought it had fallen into his coat when
-Marjorie had let it drop. Then he remembered that he had not been
-wearing that coat, that he had been in evening dress. Then he thought
-that the universe was made in some way that he did not understand. He
-looked at his coat, and fingered it. It was all right. His mind would
-not work properly again until he had satisfied himself beyond a doubt
-not once, but many times. He allowed&mdash;through terror&mdash;too long
-a time to pass lest he should seem in haste; strolled, looking as
-careless as he could, towards the library, looked round to make sure
-that no one had noticed him, leaped upstairs to his room, locked the
-door, took out his pouch and that which was within. He gazed at it for
-something like half a minute, putting it down on his dressing-table in
-the strong light to make sure.
-</p>
-<p>
-There was no doubt at all. Either he was mad, or that was the emerald.
-He remembered some odiously vivid dreams that he had had as a child
-during the air raids&mdash;but he was certain this was no dream. He was
-McTaggart all right, a miserable young journalist against whom fate had
-woven some hellish plot; and there was the Emerald.
-</p>
-<p>
-Next he tortured himself as to what he should do; obviously he must keep
-it upon him; he dared not secrete it anywhere. If one secretes things
-one can be traced. Conscience for one moment bade him go and tell his
-host, and risk all; but unfortunately the Angel had been called away at
-that very moment to tackle the Devil again, who had settled in the
-Vicarage; and in lack of such heavenly aid McTaggart fell, as any one of
-us would have fallen. He put the emerald into the inner pocket of his
-coat, pinned three pins round it carefully to make certain that it
-should not escape; and then went down with leaden heart to mix with his
-fellow beings and to trust to time.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER SIX</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-t.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-The boy Ethelbert was suffering; not from contrition&mdash;which, I need
-hardly tell one of your learning, is the pure sorrow for sin&mdash;but from
-attrition&mdash;which, I need hardly tell one of your learning, is the
-sorrow for sin only in so far as one considers its unpleasant consequences
-to oneself.
-</p>
-<p>
-The boy Ethelbert clearly appreciated that in attempting to save himself
-from one danger he had run himself into another far greater. He had put
-a valuable jewel into a nobleman's pocket and that might be, in legal
-terms, for all he knew, embezzlement, malversation or even a compound
-and chronic felony of <i>malice prepense</i>; perhaps a
-misdemeanour&mdash;with which word he was familiar through the fate of
-an uncle of his called John.
-</p>
-<p>
-He was in great agony, was the boy Ethelbert; in agony of that sort
-which youth cannot endure until it has relieved itself by communion. But
-how should he speak? His duty was to his natural lord, the Butler. The
-glorious, the remote Mr. Whaley: God of the Underworld. Should he
-confess to the Butler? It would be madness. Yet he must speak: he must
-unburden his mind.
-</p>
-<p>
-The innocent child was not long in finding a plan. He would go to his
-true superior and, naming no names, mentioning no-one-like, he would
-give a nod as good as a wink to a blind horse, and them as understood
-could follow if they chose, and if they asked no questions they wouldn't
-be told no lies. And mum's the word. Such, in rapid succession, were the
-Napoleonic thoughts of Ethelbert.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was shortly after luncheon that he sought the room in which the
-dignified O.C. of the household of Paulings was wont to repose from his
-labours: and never more thoroughly than after luncheon.
-</p>
-<p>
-Midday sleep is unknown to the young, at least after they are very, very
-young. Those of young Ethelbert's age have no use for it and cannot
-understand what a boon it may be to others. Foolishly, therefore, did
-young Ethelbert knock at the door of the holy of holies, thereby
-suddenly awakening the sacred being within, who jerked into a startled
-gasp. He pulled a handkerchief from his face, thought for a moment that
-the house was on fire, expected to see an angry master perhaps; was on
-his feet with labouring breath, purple, expectant; when there entered
-the Boy.
-</p>
-<p>
-A fine and hearty curse greeted the youth and almost blasted him from
-the room, but what he had to say was of such moment that he just stood
-his ground.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, sir!" he said, "I thought I'd come and tell you..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Come and tell me what? You young devil!" roared Mr. Whaley with a lack
-of dignity which I should have thought impossible had I not myself once
-spied upon him in his more relaxed moments, when he thought that none
-could observe. "I've a mind to have you larroped! Damned if I don't
-larrop you myself!" He made a vicious dash at the Boy, who was only
-spurred by such terror to the arresting cry of.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ho, sir! The Hemerald....!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"The Emerald ..." gulped Mr. Whaley in a very changed tone. And then,
-almost meekly: "Well, what about the Emerald, young Bert? What about
-it?" The fierceness had gone out of him altogether; he sat down. "Anyone
-been saying who took it?" For conscience that makes cowards of us all
-makes us most cowardly when we are innocent&mdash;especially in a trade
-with perquisites.
-</p>
-<p>
-Ethelbert recovered some little of his composure, and there came into
-his eyes a look of simple cunning.
-</p>
-<p>
-"There's some," he said, nodding mysteriously, "what might speak if they
-chose."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh! Is there?" said Mr. Whaley. "Well then, speak, you little rat!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"I didn't say it was me as knew," answered Ethelbert a little
-plaintively. "But don't you think, sir, that when the clothes are
-brushed and all, him as brushes finds out what's in the pockets&mdash;yes"
-(mysteriously) "even in them of the 'ighest?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"'Oo'd be fool enough to leave such a thing in their pocket?" said Mr.
-Whaley contemptuously. "And 'oo do you mean by the 'ighest?"
-</p>
-<p>
-Ethelbert nodded with a superior air.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah!" he answered doggedly, "all I said was, 'there's some could speak
-if they chose.' And there's things that may be left in the pockets even
-of the 'ighest."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Look 'ere, young Bert," said Mr. Whaley, rising again ponderously, and
-with a new threat in his face: "I'm not going to have any of <i>that</i>."
-Then shaking a considerable sausage of a forefinger at the lad, he
-added, "When you say 'the 'ighest' that's enough! Don't let me 'ear you
-speak again: leastways not on jewels and such like. There's only one
-name that it can mean you're driving at"&mdash;and there rose up within his
-mind the majesty of the master, Humphrey de Bohun.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I'm driving at no one," said the Boy, struck suddenly again with
-terror. He had not dreamed that the upper servants felt so strongly upon
-the immunity of lords such as he in whose pocket the gem, to Ethelbert's
-certain knowledge, reposed&mdash;for he had put it there.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You've been a-brushing the clothes, young lad, have yer? Yes, of course
-you have; that's your place; and setting 'em out as they should be set.
-And you say you found something in the pocket of the 'ighest, did you?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"I never ..." began Ethelbert, almost on the point of howling.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You shut your dangerous young mouth," shouted Mr. Whaley. "It's talking
-like that against your betters as 'as put many and many a lad in
-prison."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, sir!" said the unfortunate Bert.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now look here, my Boy," went on Mr. Whaley, in his heaviest manner,
-slowly transforming himself into the distant Superior and pronouncing
-divine moral judgment and guidance, as it were, for the very young. "You
-listen to me, and listen solemn. This may be a turning point in your
-life, it may. Talk like this among the lower servants, let alone a
-little bastard not yet sixteen, 'as been the ruin of some&mdash;aye, of
-many. So I tell ye. The gaols are full of 'em. Now, you mark what I say,
-young Ethelbert"&mdash;it was the first time he had ever used the entire
-name, but the occasion demanded it&mdash;"one word from your lips, and
-you're ruined. It's well you come to one like me, that might be your
-father like, and that has a care for your future, my lad. Remember that!
-One word from your lips, and you're ruined. It's not for you to be
-piecing this and that together. Gentlemen 'ave got ways o' their own,
-and, anyhow, I'm slow to believe you. There may be a game about all
-this, and, anyhow, not a word from your lips. Mark, my lad!" he went on,
-his voice booming, "ye're lost if ye speak. Have you taken that?" he
-ended, almost shouting again.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, yes, sir!" said the miserable Ethelbert, trembling. "Oh, sir, I
-meant no harm...."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, then, you go and <i>do</i> no harm," concluded Mr. Whaley, and waved
-the infant away.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-Mr. Whaley rose to his full height and girth and stretched. He looked in
-a little square looking-glass, one of his necessaries of life, thought
-his tie doubtful, carefully and gingerly put on a new one, worthy of the
-occasion. His boots&mdash;he glanced down at them&mdash;yes, his boots
-would do. His trousers were just what they should be. The fringe of hair
-round the majestic dome of his head never needed attention less than now.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was a solemn moment in history. He, George Whaley, a man of weight
-and years, possessed, moreover, now of a sufficient competence, but not
-undesirous of making it larger still, was in possession of the dread
-secret. The head of the de Bohuns, one of His Majesty's principal
-Secretaries of State, had fallen, fallen, fallen! Humphrey de Bohun had
-pinched his own daughter's emerald. The Emerald of Catherine the Great.
-The fortune of the de Bohuns lay concealed by his master's hand,
-awaiting the receiver's gold. Oh, horror! In what embarrassment the
-unfortunate man had committed the fatal act Mr. Whaley knew not: could
-so good a man have been blackmailed by scoundrels? Why should he need
-money&mdash;and money at such risk? Alas! who can plumb the depths of the
-human heart? thought George Whaley&mdash;indeed, he almost spoke the words
-aloud, so apposite did they seem, and so often had he read them in his
-book of devotions. Yet was it so! And ever, in the least expected
-places, thought George Whaley again, lies the solution of a mystery. He
-shot his cuffs, drew himself up, coughed a little, and rehearsed the
-scene.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I beg your pardon, sir, may I have the honour of a moment's
-confidential word with you?" And then another discreet cough.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then how to put it? He thought long and deeply. He must put it with
-sympathy&mdash;almost as a friend. He must not forget that he was talking
-to a superior. It would need very skilful handling; but what are butlers
-for if they cannot skilfully handle? It is the very core of buttling!
-</p>
-<p>
-He had handled other situations in his other situations, had Mr. Whaley:
-none quite so delicate as this, but still, some of 'em pretty delicate.
-Yes; he must talk to Humphrey as a friend. Respectfully, but as a
-friend: and above all firmly. It was clear that such a service would
-merit some reward.
-</p>
-<p>
-God knows, there would be no tone of menace! Oh, no! Whatever honorarium
-might accrue to George Whaley as a reward for such revelation should be
-the gift of a grateful heart alone: and, said Mr. George Whaley to his
-own conscience, why not? He would be doing his master a very great
-service. Indeed, he would be doing a double service&mdash;nay, a treble
-one. For he would be rescuing the Home Secretary of England from his lower
-self; that was a moral service. He would be preventing him from
-inevitable discovery; that was a material service. He would be serving
-him faithfully as an honest domestic should; and that was a service of
-loyalty.
-</p>
-<p>
-Was it to be wondered at (the whole scene rose vividly before his eyes
-as it was to be&mdash;as it certainly would be), was it to be wondered at
-that the grateful man should, on an impulse, seize the honest servitor's
-hand, grasp it warmly, and then, with a catch in his voice, cry aloud,
-"Whaley, you have served me well!" The rest would follow. Not less, he
-took it, than five hundred pounds.
-</p>
-<p>
-Should he go further? Should he offer his services for taking back the
-gem discreetly and seeing that it should be laid, through means he could
-command, upon the dressing-table of the culprit's daughter&mdash;no one
-should know whence?
-</p>
-<p>
-Time must show; the opportunity would develop; the details of the drama
-would be filled in. But the main lines were clear. George Whaley would
-save the head of the family of de Bohun; he would save the soul&mdash;and,
-incidentally, the more earthly reputation&mdash;of the head of the family
-of de Bohun. He would receive the little spontaneous, heartfelt reward due
-to so honest a liegeman of the de Bohuns. Ah! Chivalry was not dead....
-</p>
-<p>
-But nothing must be done on impulse. He glanced at his watch. It was
-only just past three. He must watch the poor tortured soul until there
-had developed in it, as inevitably there would through the effect of
-time, a false security&mdash;a false security brought by suspicions and
-counter-suspicions among the guests, who could never dream the real
-truth. Upon such a mood the revelation would fall with tenfold effect.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then, and then only&mdash;he would watch his moment&mdash;would George
-Whaley unburden himself of the curse of the de Bohuns and turn that
-curse into a blessing; moral to his master, and to himself material.
-</p>
-<p>
-Such was the plan of George Whaley. Once more he recited, but in an
-undertone, a whisper, the words of which could not be heard by another,
-the very phrases he was to use, the gestures proper to the great moment
-when it should come. So discreetly did he rehearse that young Ethelbert
-without, his ear glued to the keyhole, heard nothing but a murmur of
-monologue within, and feared in one wild moment that the awful
-revelation about Lord Galton had driven the butler mad.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_VII">CHAPTER SEVEN</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-m.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-Marjorie had insisted upon seeing her father alone, and she had worked
-it easily enough.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Professor in his relief from the accursed emerald had fallen into a
-sprightly mood. He had compelled young Galton to take a <i>second</i> walk,
-and therein had bored the turfist to agonies; which only shows that God
-is just, and that we are punished in that by which we sinned; in
-Galton's case, the avenue. During that walk the crystallographist
-volubly explained his exciting experiences in the past as an amateur
-detective. His large prattling mouth discoursed of marvellous
-sleuth-deeds in the past. But he did not go too far. He said nothing of
-emeralds. He kept the tit-bit, the great revelation, for his host&mdash;and
-he knew at what time to deliver it.
-</p>
-<p>
-As for McTaggart, there was no difficulty in getting rid of <i>him</i>. All
-he desired was to be alone. He wandered off all solitary. Victoria
-Mosel, left with no one but Aunt Amelia, fled; and Aunt Amelia, once in
-her chair, was safe to remain there for the rest of the afternoon.
-Therefore was Marjorie safe to tell her father what should be done.
-</p>
-<p>
-Her temper was at breaking point; she was in that mood when women will
-blame whatever is nearest at hand and most defenseless; and what more
-admirable butt than a widowed parent?
-</p>
-<p>
-"Papa," she said, "there's only one thing to be done. You must get a
-detective! At once!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"My dear child! My dear child!" said the shocked politician, all the
-traditions of the de Bohuns rising in his blood, "a detective at
-Paulings!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, stuff and nonsense!" said the dutiful daughter. "I'm sick of all
-that. Considering the kind of people you <i>do</i> have in
-Paulings&mdash;gaol birds like Tommy, and that damned old fool Cousin
-Bill, who steals diamonds ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Hush! My dear, hush!" begged the appalled and terrified Home Secretary.
-He had noticed an open door, and hurriedly shut it. "Besides which,
-apart from being overheard, really, one must not say such things!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Say what?" retorted Marjorie sharply. "Oh, papa, for Heaven's sake
-don't talk any more nonsense, but do get that detective!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"I can hardly telephone on such a thing as that," hesitated the poor man
-weakly. "Everything I say over the telephone is known at the exchange.
-And we know what happened that time when they were paid by <i>The Howl</i>.
-As for letting one of the servants do it ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh! Good heavens, papa!" said Marjorie. "Isn't there a car? Go up in
-the car! Tell Morden all about it."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Morden can hold his tongue," mused de Bohun thoughtfully.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Of course he can!" snapped Marjorie.
-</p>
-<p>
-"But ..." hesitated her father, again, "I don't see how ... what with
-the guests ... and I wouldn't have them suspect for worlds...."
-</p>
-<p>
-And as he said this he saw out of the corner of his eye his two cousins
-coming back towards the house, close at hand; the elder one was
-gesticulating in fine fury in his new-found happiness, and the other
-paced sombrely fierce at the end of his torture. Before they could open
-the front door ...
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, damn!" said Marjorie&mdash;and she nearly added "you." "I'll telephone
-to you from my room. I'll give you an excuse to say the Home Office is
-calling." And she flew upstairs.
-</p>
-<p>
-She was safely at her telephone before the two cousins had passed the
-front door. She gave them time to get into her father's presence, or for
-her to guess, at any rate, that one of them would be in the library.
-Then, with the promptitude of the young and the modern, she did the
-trick. The basement had put her through, and the bell on the big desk
-rang smartly. Galton and the Professor, sitting there in the room with
-the Home Secretary, looked up as quickly as did their host. He was on
-the receiver with a nervous rapidity; and the conversation was of a
-simple sort which I almost blush to recall.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now, papa, just tell them you've got to go to town because there is a
-hurried summons in London. Tell them you'll be back in a couple of
-hours."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Who's on?" said Lord Galton.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes! Yes!" said de Bohun. "All right! Yes! The Home Office? Ah! Yes?
-Tell me the details," knitting his brows a little; then turning to his
-two cousins, "It seems they want me at Whitehall."
-</p>
-<p>
-<i>The Telephone</i>: "Hurry up, papa; it's all got to be fitted in pretty
-damn close, you know; they've got to get the man, and he's got to be got
-here by this afternoon, and got somehow!"
-</p>
-<p>
-<i>The Home Secretary</i>: "Ah? Yes!" Frowning, "Oh! that's
-serious&mdash;well! You want me at once? All right! It's Saturday
-afternoon you know! Is Morden there? Tell him I'll be up within the
-hour." Then he turned to his guests. "Yes, they want me at once, it
-seems. Most urgent. But they say it won't take long." He spoke into the
-receiver in his turn: "Do you think I can get back here by five or a
-little after in the car? ... Yes," turning round and nodding at his
-guests thoughtfully, "they say I can get back by five&mdash;or a little
-after, in the car. What a business it is! I have often wondered," he
-added sententiously as he hung up the receiver on its hook and rang the
-bell to order the car&mdash;"I have often wondered what makes men take
-office. It's a tradition," he sighed, "Some one must serve the State!
-But it's a weary business." All this for the benefit of his two cousins,
-as though they had been a public meeting. "I'll get back at once; my man
-can do it in forty minutes from here if he takes the cut by Muffler's
-Lane, and there's not much traffic after the first two hours of a
-Saturday afternoon."
-</p>
-<p>
-The car was round promptly enough. It was stopped within five miles for
-the great man to telephone back&mdash;from a local box&mdash;to Paulings
-for something he had forgotten to leave word of. But he did not telephone
-to Paulings. He telephoned to the Home Office, of which he was the chief.
-To such abasement do modern contrivances drive us. He called up the
-invaluable Morden and discovered to his enormous relief that the
-invaluable Morden, though it was a Saturday and already a quarter to
-four, was working away.
-</p>
-<p>
-Within twenty minutes more the great statesman was in his official
-palace of Whitehall. Morden was there all right, as the telephone had
-told him. Morden was there! Oh invaluable Morden! have you not earned
-those directorships and that sinecure in the Engrossing Department? By
-God! you have.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Morden," said the Home Secretary.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Aye, aye," answered Mr. Morden wittily.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You know Scotland Yard?"
-</p>
-<p>
-Morden did not turn a hair. Did he know Scotland Yard? Did he? He,
-Morden of the Home Office! The man who laid the traps for the
-scapegoats ... the man who worked the parks.
-</p>
-<p>
-So young&mdash;not forty&mdash;he had already seen pass before him a
-long troop of politicians, and he was ready to take any folly from them,
-short of physical violence. So when he was asked whether he, the junior
-brain of the Home Office, knew the place and institution called Scotland
-Yard, he said that he did; and he said it as naturally as though he had
-been asked for some information on Thibet.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now who do you think," said the Home Secretary musingly, as he rose
-from his chair and paced up and down the enormous room, his brows
-tortured with deep thought&mdash;"who do you think there would
-be&mdash;connected with Scotland Yard, mind you!&mdash;who would
-undertake a private inquiry, and be rigidly secret?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"They are all rigidly secret," said Morden simply.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary wagged his long head with a weary simulation of
-cunning, and a would-be sly smile illuminated&mdash;or at least
-undimmed&mdash;his eye.
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's all right for the <i>public</i>, Morden," he said. "But you'll see
-what I mean in a moment. Could they find some one even <i>more</i> rigidly
-secret than the rest? Eh?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"<i>I</i> could," said Morden. "I can tell you his name. A man called
-Brailton, close over sixty, but very good indeed. He was the man we used
-when there was that trouble about the death in Lady Matcham's house just
-before her administration went out of office."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, was he?" cried the Home Secretary eagerly. "Was he?" Then with
-great satisfaction in his voice: "In that case he is all right. It was
-certainly astonishing, the way that was kept back....You see, Morden,
-it's something of the same case here. <i>The trouble is in my own
-house</i> ... <i>Paulings</i>."
-</p>
-<p>
-For once Morden was genuinely taken aback. He was silent. "I see," he at
-last murmured gravely. "<i>Your</i> house&mdash;and the safe side?&mdash;Of
-course!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"It's in my own house&mdash;and the safe side? Good God, yes!" The Home
-Secretary spoke firmly. Then after a pause he added, "When they find out
-who has done it ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Done what?" said Morden.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Never mind," answered his courteous chief. "You're bound to know all
-about it in good time. Well, as I was saying, when they know who's done
-it, it might turn out to be some one of whom not a soul in the Press must
-know that he has done it. I mean, if he <i>has</i> done it, nobody must
-know that it was he who did it, outside the few who know that he
-<i>has</i>. Have I made myself quite, quite clear?" he asked anxiously.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Perfectly," said Morden.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now this man Brailton. When could he get down to Paulings?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"He could come at an hour's notice," said Morden. "He got back from
-Yorkshire last night, and he's got nothing on for the moment."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ring him up," said the Home Secretary.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was at six removes, and took just over ten minutes. The man in the
-outer room rang up the department, which told the section, which sent
-for the controller, who gave the order to the third floor, which got
-hold of the group, and the group had the good fortune to find Brailton
-at the end of a wire. Brailton would take whatever train he was told,
-and was waiting.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary meditated.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I am going down by car now," he said. He looked at his watch. "It takes
-well under the hour by train&mdash;it's not seventeen miles. I shall be
-home by half past five, and I'll tell Marjorie. The best train is the
-six-thirty from St. Pancras. It gets down in forty minutes. I'll have
-him met and brought straight to Paulings. He'd be in time for dinner....
-By the way," he added suddenly, as a thought struck him, "he'll be all
-right, will he? Go down?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Perfectly," said Morden eagerly. "Perfectly."
-</p>
-<p>
-"No one'll suspect anything?" persisted his chief anxiously.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, no, no, no!" assured Morden airily. "I know the man like an uncle.
-Quiet, silver, rather too refined, silent, tall. Dresses&mdash;if
-anything&mdash;a little too carefully. At Lady Matcham's he passed for a
-Don working in Egypt who hadn't come to London for months. And in this last
-Yorkshire case he passed as a <i>Times</i> correspondent just back in
-England from the east after some years. All you have to do is to make up
-good reasons for people not having seen him before. He passes perfectly."
-</p>
-<p>
-"The accent?" said the Home Secretary, knitting his brows again.
-"Is&mdash;well&mdash;you know what I mean?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, perfectly. It's beautiful; it's remarkably smooth&mdash;yet not
-conspicuous," said Morden. Then, "You knew old Dickie Hafton?" he added
-suddenly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Of course I knew old Dickie Hafton!" answered the indignant Home
-Secretary. "He was my mother-in-law's first cousin&mdash;went to the Lords
-in 1895 and to the Lord in 1910. Fond o' women." And there rose before his
-mental eye the image of that aged peer, thin, aquiline, too proud, too
-careful of his dress, a man of exquisite voice a trifle thin in tone,
-but how precise! with the old, not uncharming habit of a few French
-words here and there. A public figure to the last, famous for his
-activities in the evangelical world.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well," answered Morden, "old Brailton's the startling image of Dickie
-Hafton. You'll like him. He goes down."
-</p>
-<p>
-"All right," said the Home Secretary, hugely satisfied. "That's settled!
-I'm off; I leave it to you to make arrangements. The six-thirty."
-</p>
-<p>
-But to make his chief quite at ease, Morden whispered something in his
-ear.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Really?" said the Home Secretary, as he struggled into his coat&mdash;and
-he said it very loudly, so that everyone could hear it in the next room, to
-Morden's horror. "Not old Dickie's <i>son</i>? There wouldn't be time for
-it!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Morden nodded mysteriously, and whispered again: "Yes, there is! He was
-only eighteen.... It was the housemaid at his grandmother's." And the
-Home Secretary went out bemused and marvelling at the strange
-revelations of this pur world.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_VIII">CHAPTER EIGHT</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-m.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-Many of our most important modern inventions have been forestalled by
-the Chinese, for whom we should have the greater regard in that they are
-not Christians. Gunpowder, False Money, the art of Printing, Diplomacy,
-Propaganda, Prison Fortunes, Taximeters and the Strike&mdash;all these are
-of the extreme Orient. But what have I to do with all these? It is of the
-Mariner's Compass that I sing&mdash;which also was first spotted by the
-Chink.
-</p>
-<p>
-Now of the various forms of Mariner's Compass there is one with which
-some few of my readers may be acquainted. It is used in certain
-scientific experiments which have nothing to do with pointing to the
-North, but with the measurement of delicate electrical hints. The needle
-swings on a jewelled pivot, very nicely balanced, encased in a small
-round box about an inch across, covered in with glass so that no dust
-can affect the very sensitive affair; and at the side there is a little
-stud on a spring which you press with your finger when you want to fix
-and register the pointing of the needle. So long as you press the stud
-the needle stands firm. When you release the stud the needle trembles
-again.
-</p>
-<p>
-All very interesting. But what of it?
-</p>
-<p>
-Wait a moment. Retain this clearly in your mind, and I will proceed to
-the second point.
-</p>
-<p>
-It has been remarked by the less stupid of psychologists&mdash;and that is
-not saying much&mdash;that cunning and intelligence are not often combined.
-Conversely, as Dr. Nancy Neerly shrewdly remarked, when her assistant at
-the Hospital for Nervous Diseases, gonophed her microscope, extreme
-incompetence is often accompanied by cunning. Nothing is more cunning
-than your half-wit.
-</p>
-<p>
-Getting that principle firmly into your head, you will appreciate that
-when Professor de Bohun slunk out in the evening after his cousin's
-departure for town, into the neighbouring suburban villas of Bakeham
-(which, for one thing, fringed the Park&mdash;the de Bohuns had long ago
-screened it by a dense row of quickly-growing timber&mdash;and for another,
-provided the Home Secretary with a considerable part of his insufficient
-income) his action was not unconnected with that upon which his mind had
-been exercised for now nearly twenty-four hours.
-</p>
-<p>
-He sought a policeman, and said with a sudden squeak which made that
-high official jump:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh! Can you tell me if anyone round here sells scientific instruments?
-Optical instruments? Electrical instruments? ... Instruments?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Wot?" said the policeman.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Let us say ... ah, for instance," went on the squeaky voice,
-"clinometers.... Shall we say Clinometers? Clinometers? ... Yes!
-Clinometers!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Pass along!" said the policeman. "Pass along!" And there was that in
-his eye of a man who hesitates between a verdict of lunacy and arrest
-for leg-pull.
-</p>
-<p>
-"But, Constable ..." pleaded the unfortunate cadet of an ancient house.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Pass on! Pass on!" boomed the tyrant, and as there was a difference of
-at least three octaves between the two men's voices, the unfortunate
-Professor obeyed the double bass, crossed the street at the risk of his
-life, and wandered inanely past the shop windows.
-</p>
-<p>
-But there is a Providence for such as he, as also for drunkards and
-babes; and there, right before him, was an ancient bow window of
-bottle-glass panes; the name of the shop in old Georgian script; the
-information that it had been founded in 1805; and, behind the glass, two
-telescopes, a microscope, a clock, several watches, and a sextant of
-immense age.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Professor went in.
-</p>
-<p>
-"What I want ... ah!" he said. Then his eye fell upon the very thing he
-desired. It lay there in a glass case, and the owner of the shop, no
-younger than his customer, brought it out with a palsied hand.
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's it," said the Professor, nodding genially. "That's it. That's
-what I want. That's it." Slipping it into his pocket, he made for the
-door, nodding good day.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Hi! Mister! That'll be five guineas," said the ancient. Oh! vileness of
-avaricious age! He had seen his client coming out by the garden gate by
-the Great House, he had noted guilty haste, he had noted academic
-idiocy, and he charged accordingly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, yes! Of course ... ah! <i>What</i>! Five guineas? ... five
-<i>guineas</i>! FIVE GUINEAS!"
-</p>
-<p>
-It was a sickener. But the wages of Sin is Death. He must have it&mdash;or
-something of the sort. And he must have it now, before Humphrey got
-home. Sin will not wait.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure12"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure12.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Deplorable moral lapse of Professor de Bohun<br />
-(pronounced Boon).</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-Believe me or not, but there was positively a flush upon the yellow
-cheek of the hoary intriguer, a flush that contrasted charmingly with
-his straggling white whiskers, as he parted with two half crowns and a
-note. It was a severe struggle. To comfort himself he pressed the stud
-again. Yes, it worked all right. He toddled back, and got in at the very
-moment when his cousin's car was buzzing up the drive, back from London.
-</p>
-<p>
-Professor de Bohun was determined to lose no time. He got rid of his
-overcoat and his hat with surprising agility, and met the master of the
-house at the door as though he had been in for hours.
-</p>
-<p>
-But his was not a temperament to introduce a subject with finesse. He
-went blindly at it.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Humphrey," he said, ere ever the Home Secretary was across the step, "I
-want to see you. I want to see you now ... yes, now ... rather
-urgently.... I want to see you now."
-</p>
-<p>
-The Man of Little Peace nodded wearily.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Come along," he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-His mind jumped back to the false scent of the morning. He suddenly
-wondered whether, after all, Cousin Bill was going to confess? Galton's
-statement had been clear enough. He had said in so many words that he
-had <i>seen</i> an emerald in the Professor's hand. And the head of the
-family would have believed anything, almost of the Professor in the way
-of such follies since the great Mullingar affair.
-</p>
-<p>
-"What is it, Bill?" he said, as he shut the door of his study.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah!" said the Ancient, almost archly. "What do you think? The
-E-M-E-R-A-L-D! Eh? Eh?"
-</p>
-<p>
-He searched in his pocket. Humphrey de Bohun looked to see the jewel
-appear. Not at all. What appeared was a little round brass box, glass
-cased, and in it a trembling needle, that shook and shivered like a
-gossamer in a breeze.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now, my dear Humphrey," said the Professor, "let us take two chairs;
-yes ... two chairs ... two chairs. Ah! yes, two chairs." They took two
-chairs. "And let me pull up this little table...." He had become almost
-businesslike, not to say sprightly, in concentrating upon what he was
-about to do.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now, then; here we are, we two on these two chairs as it were, are we
-not? Yes! And here you see this little instrument, do you not? Yes! And
-do you know what it does ... what it is? What it is ...? It's a
-talcometer."
-</p>
-<p>
-"A what?" said the Home Secretary.
-</p>
-<p>
-"A talcometer," said Professor de Bohun, lying freely, and puffing
-slightly after the effort. "Now, Humphrey, I want you to watch
-something. To watch something, eh! Ah! yes. You have, I take
-it&mdash;ah!&mdash;or Marjorie has, or some one has a jewel&mdash;sure
-to have one. A diamond, say. Any stone&mdash;crystal. A stone, at any
-rate...."
-</p>
-<p>
-"I don't know," began Humphrey de Bohun, wondering what was to be. "Will
-this do?" he asked, leaning over towards his writing table and pulling
-off it the little crystal Chinese god which was used to weight down the
-papers which he had abandoned there so many days.
-</p>
-<p>
-Anything would do for the deceitful pedant. He nodded cheerfully.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure13"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure13.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Professor de Bohun explains to the head of the<br />
-family his theory&mdash;or rather, certitude&mdash;upon<br />
-the whereabouts of the Great Emerald.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-"Yes," he said, "so long as it's crystal. Anything crystal. Crystal."
-Then he added, "Now, Humphrey, watch. Here," holding the little round
-brass disk with its trembling needle, "I have our talcometer. Now here,"
-moving the Chinese god into line with the axis round which the tiny
-filament of metal trembled, "here we have this talcometer, <i>and</i> the
-crystal. Eh! <i>And</i> the crystal.... Now watch, Humphrey!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Holding the little round brass case with his left finger and thumb, he
-gradually with his right hand approached the heathenish idol, sliding
-the False God slowly along the polished table-top towards the
-instrument. It came closer and closer. It was at 9 inches, 6 inches, 3
-inches, ... but there was as yet no apparent effect, when, suddenly,
-with the Pot-bellied Dwarf Deity at about 2 inches off, or a little
-less, the needle behaved like a pointer: it stood immovable, held
-rigidly by some strange force. The stud, dear friends, but how could
-Humphrey de Bohun know that?
-</p>
-<p>
-"There! You see that? See that? See that?" squeaked the Professor
-triumphantly. "Now I want you to test it for yourself. Move the little
-devil away! Move it yourself! Humphrey, move it yourself!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Humphrey de Bohun very slowly pushed back the crystal, and almost
-immediately the needle trembled again.
-</p>
-<p>
-"There!" said the Professor in happy confidence, leaning back. "There!
-What did I tell you?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, what of it, Bill?" said the harassed master.
-</p>
-<p>
-"What of it?" answered his cousin. "The Emerald. Ah! the Emerald!" and
-he rubbed his hands together.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I don't understand a word you're saying," said poor Humphrey.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Professor leaned forward and tapped his cousin twice upon the
-shoulder with that knotted forefinger.
-</p>
-<p>
-"That instrument," he said, as solemnly as such a voice can say
-anything, "tells a crystal close at hand. According to the cube of the
-distance. I have to use it perpetually. Very well known. German, you
-know&mdash;wonderful people, the Germans. It was Meitz's idea," he went
-on, adding verisimilitude by the effective use of detail. "But <i>he</i>
-couldn't have done it without Speitzer. Often like that in research
-work. Any doubt about a crystal's character. Even amorphous&mdash;put
-that thing close enough, and it points at once. Now do you see? Eh! Now
-do you see?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Not exactly," said Humphrey de Bohun.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Why, it's plain enough! I hadn't thought of it. It suddenly occurred to
-me. It suddenly came to me while you were off to London. Here I had what
-could solve all our troubles. I put it first here, then there.
-Everywhere I could. Went on for an hour&mdash;all over the room! All over
-the rug where it dropped. Then one of your guests came in. I didn't want to
-be seen at it. I was putting it back into my pocket when my hand came
-close by the side of his coat. Bless my heart! It pointed!"
-</p>
-<p>
-He leant forward again and tapped his cousin more solemnly still, this
-time on the chest. "Mark my words! That young man's got it!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Which young man?" said Humphrey, remembering what counter accusation
-the Professor would naturally make, and thinking at once of Galton.
-</p>
-<p>
-"That young writing fellow," said Cousin Bill. "That newspaper chap
-McTaggart. McTaggart, McTaggart, McTaggart, McTaggart, McTaggart."
-</p>
-<p>
-Humphrey de Bohun hesitated. "My dear Bill," he said, "you never know.
-He might have had something else in his pocket&mdash;also crystal,
-or&mdash;I don't know ... something."
-</p>
-<p>
-The Professor wagged his head with all the dignity of a goat.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Won't work, Humphrey!" he said. "Won't work! One can always tell the
-size by the distance. It wasn't some ring or small thing of that kind.
-Besides which, he wouldn't have such a small thing of his own in his
-pocket. No, the Emerald's there all right. And I'll tell you something
-that makes me surer still. I took occasion to brush up against
-him&mdash;there was a hard slab in that pocket, Humphrey. In that pocket. A
-small, hard slab! Slab! ... Hard slab! ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-An awful task arose in the conscience of Humphrey de Bohun. He must play
-the spy again. He must mistrust yet another guest.
-</p>
-<p>
-But wait! Should he tell the great detective when he arrived? No. It
-would be only fair to seek the young man first and warn him. But he
-hesitated and he put it off. He would wait till dinner time, or nearly
-dinner, when the poor fellow was changing. He would make it quite clear
-that there would be no consequences&mdash;only, he must confess and
-restore. Then he suddenly thought of what would happen if he drew blank,
-as he had in the case of the strange being before him. But he was in
-some agony.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_IX">CHAPTER NINE</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-t.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-The Home Secretary was in his study before a pleasing fire. The
-Professor had left him. His daughter was with him. There was no one else
-in the room. He had asked her to come down a little earlier that he
-might explain things to her. There was yet a quarter of an hour before
-they need dress for dinner, and the dread stranger from the Yard might
-be with them at any moment. He had warned each of his guests that a
-distinguished diplomat had asked to run down to see him at short notice.
-The F.O. had sent him on to the Home Office. The matter concerned both
-departments. The distinguished diplomat would dine. They must excuse his
-retirement with that official, later in the evening, to discuss high
-affairs of State.
-</p>
-<p>
-Such was the fairy tale Humphrey de Bohun had pitched; he hoped it had
-gone down. And now he was alone again to discuss the matter with his
-only confidant, his daughter.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Marjorie," he said, "that man Brailton was to come by the six-thirty.
-It must be late. I have told them to show him in here at once. It is
-exceedingly important you should know all about it, and that nobody else
-should. We must hear from him, very briefly, some essential points: for
-instance, his assumed name."
-</p>
-<p>
-"He's all right, papa?" asked Marjorie anxiously.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Perfectly, my dear, perfectly. Morden assures me ... in fact, Morden
-told me that he is actually ..." and then checked himself. He was still
-Victorian, was poor Humphrey de Bohun. He didn't like to talk to the
-bastards of his own class, and to a daughter at that. "At any rate he's
-all right. Elderly, distinguished&mdash;what they call cavalier, I'm told,
-yes, cavalier.... I've already told Aunt Amelia and Tommy that he's a
-diplomat&mdash;a fellow I've got to see after dinner.... It's all exact.
-Which room did you say?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Senlac, papa. Crécy's being repapered."
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary nodded solemnly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Senlac will do all right. But you must remember, my dear, that this
-Mr.&mdash;ah!&mdash;<i>Brailton</i>, that is the name, <i>Brailton</i>,
-is somewhat advanced in years&mdash;and ... and ... I needn't insist ...
-but a refined man and on his <i>father's</i> side, of good blood! He
-will be sensitive."
-</p>
-<p>
-There was a silence&mdash;but not for long. The door was solemnly flung
-open with a majesty worthy of the occasion, and the Master of the
-Ceremonies&mdash;if I may so call him&mdash;George Whaley announced in a
-controlled but oily voice:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. Collop!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Collop? Collop? What was this? The disguise for Brailton?
-</p>
-<p>
-The father rose to his feet, somewhat painfully, the daughter looked
-round. And behold! a man sturdy, broad-shouldered, short, clad, not in
-some soft clinging stuff, but in stout Scotch tweed, which&mdash;as to his
-upper part&mdash;was a roomy coat with poachers' pockets, and&mdash;as to
-his lower&mdash;plus-fours. His stockings were thick and ribbed, as fashion
-in a certain world demanded at that moment; but his boots were of that
-unmistakable sort provided by the Government of the King for his police.
-The hair was short, coarse, and thick; the face broad and determined;
-the eyes straightforward, grey and far too bold. What the mouth might
-really be like only its Creator knew, for it was thatched by a moustache
-so bristling, curt, aggressive and sprouting-out that the eye of the
-onlooker was fascinated and could not note the ugly lips below.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Evenin'!" said the Apparition in a powerful voice of low pitch; and as
-he said it he bobbed the head and shoulders of him towards the man
-who&mdash;for a year or two&mdash;controlled the peace&mdash;and
-police&mdash;of England.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Evenin', ma'am," added the Apparition with the same jerk of the head
-and shoulders towards the Lady of the House. "Cold evenin'? Good fire, I
-see!" he added with a charming familiarity. "Pleasant thing evenin's the
-likes o' this, a good fire is."
-</p>
-<p>
-And as he thus delivered himself with all the natural grace and charm of
-long experience, his two staggered victims waited for their breaths.
-</p>
-<p>
-There was but one reply, and the Home Secretary made it pompously and, I
-am afraid, a little distantly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Good evening, Mr....?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Collop," said the stranger, decisively.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Collop. Ah, yes, Collop. I should have remembered. Mr. Collop, my
-dear," he said, bending his head towards his daughter, who stared
-astonished and had not yet recovered herself. "Collop. Yes. Mr.
-Collop.... Mr. Collop. I understand fully. We are to call you Mr.
-Collop."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Rather!" said that solid individual. "That's my name <i>here</i>," and he
-winked. "What my name may be elsewhere we both know, eh?" and he winked
-again.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure14"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure14.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Sudden Entry of Mr. Collop.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-"Ah, Mr. Collop&mdash;it is to be Mister, is it not?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, Mister," answered the gentleman solemnly, "not Miss nor Master.
-Who ye're kidding?" He did not say it insolently. He knew his place. He
-knew he was talking to the Home Secretary. He said, "Who ye're kidding?"
-by way of a respectful jest.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. Collop.... Yes.... Mr. Collop...." stuttered the Home Secretary
-like a man half stunned. "We expected ... ah! ... you will pardon
-me? ... a Mr. <i>Brailton</i>; yes, a Mr. <i>Brailton</i>.... Eh? Shall
-I ... ah! ... if by any accident there should be a mistake?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"There's no mistake," said the genial Collop, "old Brailton 'twas to be!
-You're right there, mister! But he was that sick he asked me to run
-down. ''Tis only a suburb job,' says he. So here I am!"
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary whispered to his daughter in an agony: "Can't we stop
-it? Shall we telephone?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Too late now&mdash;before dressing," said the despairing girl. "I'll tell
-you when I hear."
-</p>
-<p>
-Her father knew she was right. They must make the best of it. "Put
-dinner on in twenty minutes," he whispered to her in an aside; then
-aloud to his guest, "What ... ah ... what shall we ... to put it
-plainly, Mr. Collop, what shall we say you are?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah, I've got that all fixed," said Mr. Collop, his voice bravely riding
-the air. "Old Brailton told me what he was and I'm that. I'm a diplomat,
-I am. Tokio the last four years."
-</p>
-<p>
-The call on Marjorie's intelligence woke her to action.
-</p>
-<p>
-"It won't do," she said sharply.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Why not? Eh?" said Mr. Collop, with less ceremony than might have been
-expected from so recent an acquaintance.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Because," replied the young lady, a little acidly, "one of our guests,
-Miss Victoria Mosel, has just come back from Japan. She was there in
-September staying with our Ambassadress at Tokio."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah!" said Mr. Collop. "That makes it awkward like."
-</p>
-<p>
-"I think," began the Home Secretary timidly ... but the stronger will
-prevailed.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Make it Bogotar?" was Mr. Collop's suggestion.
-</p>
-<p>
-Time, which destroys love itself, and brings mighty states to ruin, the
-implacable master of ephemeral man, caught the unfortunate father and
-daughter in his iron grip. There was not a moment to spare. And it was
-as Mr. Collop, just back from his long but patriotic exile in "Bogotar,"
-that the welcome stranger was led out and ritually introduced to the
-guests in the next room. There is no need to introduce a guest at such
-an hour, but this guest! Oh, yes!
-</p>
-<p>
-As the master of the house and his daughter were making that
-introduction their cup of agony was full.
-</p>
-<p>
-What made it worse was that McTaggart, being less of a man of the world,
-as the saying goes, than the rest of the prisoners, was quite openly
-startled, and instead of looking at Mr. Collop's determined face, his
-eyes at once fell to the plus-fours, and he said to himself, as his eyes
-fell lower still, "Thank God, he hasn't put on those brown boots with
-funny little tabs to them! But really! For a detective...." Then he
-looked up at the face&mdash;and he, of Fleet Street, knew his man.
-</p>
-<p>
-Lord Galton stared at the Apparition. He could make neither head nor
-tail of it. He was not of the Horse Pulling, privileged world. Then he
-remembered that your professional politicians had to herd with all
-manner of cattle and he shrugged his mental shoulders so violently that
-his physical shoulders perceptibly heaved. He turned his back upon the
-company and examined a picture until the nervous strain was over.
-</p>
-<p>
-Victoria Mosel was vastly pleased. It was as good as the Zoo&mdash;and she
-loved the Zoo. She promised herself an unholy feast and whispered to
-Marjorie to put her next the Diplomat at dinner. She was not a woman of
-gesture, or of external expression; but she very nearly clapped her
-hands for joy. She had seen some funny things in the diplomatic service
-in the time of her teeth, which were no longer short, but the like of
-this she had never seen; and she thought, as many a contemporary has
-thought since Queen Victoria's death, "We're getting on!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Then she began to speculate within her own clear mind as to how this
-monster had got into the diplomatic service at all. But she remembered
-certain odd accidents during the war and other people than he who had
-suddenly popped up in embassies at the F.O.&mdash;quite out of nature; and
-just as she had all but clapped her hands, so she now all but whistled.
-However, she in fact did neither. Only she looked upon Mr. Collop with a
-happy, happy face, and felt that here, at last, was not a wasted day.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Professor was vastly interested. He said "Bogotar" three times,
-beamed, nodded, and then for a fourth time he said "Bogotar"
-lingeringly, as though he loved it, and then whispered again, "Ah, yes,
-of course. Bogotar." And put his head a little on one side and left it
-there.
-</p>
-<p>
-As for Aunt Amelia, her failing eyes did not distinguish the Apparition,
-but her ears distinguished the accent, and the type of English; and she
-marvelled feebly that things had changed so much since the days of the
-Great Lord Salisbury and Peace with Honour. But of one thing she was
-sure. That if the type of man used for delicate missions abroad might
-have changed, the policy of Britain was still secure in the hands of
-whomever the Secretary for Foreign Affairs might choose to entrust with
-that mighty task; and Bogotar (she imagined) was the capital of Ormuzd
-and of Ind; barbaric, splendid, and in fee to the British Crown.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah! Shall I show you to your room&mdash;eh?" said the Home Secretary
-courteously, putting an end to what could not be prolonged. "Ah, let me
-show you to your room."
-</p>
-<p>
-He went so far as to take the terrible thing by the elbow and actually
-conduct it out; ... after an interval sufficient, but not too long,
-McTaggart followed. He would again be alone. He could not bear to remain
-with the rich longer than he was compelled, and now that there was a
-detective in the house he would be discovered. Well, let it be so; let
-the end come soon.
-</p>
-<p>
-Now there stood, awaiting McTaggart in the hall, that Devil and that
-Angel who had been off duty for a few hours, and were now back again,
-fresh and keen, and bickering, as is the wont of such opposed beings of
-the other world.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Angel, seeing his human friend and ward, made him a suggestion at
-once:
-</p>
-<p>
-"You ass!" he blew into McTaggart's ear. "Put it in the Rozzer's
-pocket." The Devil began to object violently.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You shut up!" said the Angel, turning to him annoyed. "I'll come back
-and talk to you about it later!" Then he turned again to McTaggart, and
-pumped brilliant thoughts into his same ear with such violence that the
-young man's soul was all irradiated and full and he suddenly thought
-himself a genius. Such is the vanity of man! So little do we recognise
-inspiration from on high!
-</p>
-<p>
-"It's as easy," prompted the Angel, "as falling off a log. All you've
-got to do is to say you've met him, and tell him who you are. He'll know
-you're from the Press&mdash;you look like it&mdash;and he'll think he's met
-you. <i>Then</i> slip it into his pocket, bully boy! Slip it into his
-pocket!"
-</p>
-<p>
-And all the time McTaggart was saying within his own soul: "That's a
-brilliant idea! Now I don't suppose anyone else would have an idea like
-that! But, there! I'm always getting good ideas at the right time!"
-</p>
-<p>
-He stalked his host and Collop round the top of the stairs and down the
-long passage above.
-</p>
-<p>
-He saw the door open; he heard the Home Secretary say cheerfully,
-"There's a bath through that door. Have you got everything you want? I
-hope they've unpacked your things?"
-</p>
-<p>
-He heard the cheerful voice of Collop reply: "Right-o! Everything in the
-garden's lovely!"
-</p>
-<p>
-He saw the Home Secretary go off with a very changed expression in the
-gloom of the passage. He flattened himself in a deep doorway, a little
-angry that he should be playing the spy&mdash;but necessity drove him. He
-waited till he had heard his host go down the stairs; then he knocked at
-the detective's bedroom door. Full of angelic inspiration&mdash;which human
-pride mistook for genius&mdash;he entered in.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. Collop," he said without hesitation, "you know me? Hamish
-McTaggart&mdash;the Daily Sun? ... You'll excuse me for not using your real
-name?" And he smiled.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Why, Mr. McTaggart, I've heard of you often enough. Where did we meet?
-And as for the real name"&mdash;he winked&mdash;"less said the better! I'm
-in the Foreign Office just now. I'm from Bogotar ... How come? When did we
-meet?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"In the Savoy bar," hushed the Angel hurriedly into McTaggart's ear.
-</p>
-<p>
-"In the Savoy bar," said McTaggart, aloud.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Not during the Bullingdon case?" said the delighted but indiscreet Mr.
-so-called Collop, stretching out both his hands.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Wink!" pumped the Angel; and Hamish McTaggart winked&mdash;for the first
-time in his life.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was a clumsy wink, rather like that of the hippopotamus when he comes
-out of the water, in which element the huge pachyderm so serenely
-sleeps. But it was good enough for the Secret Service.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah! Mr. McTaggart, Mr. McTaggart!" said Collop, shaking both the
-journalist's hands up and down like pump handles. "Well met! Now then,
-you'll make a feature of this in the paper, won't you?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"I'm not here for that," said McTaggart modestly. "I'm only a guest; but
-of course I can see that <i>The Howl</i> ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah! That's the style, laddie! You'll do!" said the Man of Mystery,
-bringing down a palm like a Westphalian ham on the wincing shoulder of
-the youth. "A few kind words on the discreet agent, eh? The Bosses'll
-note 'em down!" He dived into a pocket. "I've got a flask here!" he
-said, and winked in his turn. "What I call my good old prohibition!
-We'll drink to it, eh? To think of meeting the likes of you in a 'ouse
-like this!"
-</p>
-<p>
-This last remark wounded McTaggart's pride; but the Angel stood by him,
-and they that have angels at their side are firm.
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. Collop's dress clothes lay beautifully aligned upon a couch, a shirt
-by the side of them; but the owner's brow clouded as he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Where the devil did I put that flask? Curse them slaveys! I do 'ate
-'avin' things done for me on these toff jobs!" He buried his head in the
-large kit-bag which he had been assured was the proper receptacle or
-container to bring to the Palaces of the Rich.
-</p>
-<p>
-And even as he therein delved and groped, with head hidden in the
-kit-bag, the Angel brought it off!
-</p>
-<p>
-"Attaboy!" urged the Angel to Hamish. "Slip it into the tail-coat
-pocket! QUICK!"
-</p>
-<p>
-And before you could have breathed a silent prayer the Emerald was in
-the tail-coat pocket of Mr. Collop's evening tail coat, lying there on
-the couch all innocent.
-</p>
-<p>
-Up came Mr. Collop's head out of the kit-bag, very red and puffy.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I thought as much, my 'earty," he said. "Dirty tykes! ... There it
-was...." And he brought out a gigantic flask holding perhaps a quart of
-the detestable beverage. The bottom of it was a silver cup fitted to the
-glass, and inscribed, "In grateful memory of the Bullingdon Burglary,
-August, 1928" and with the initials B.F. Mr. Collop solemnly half filled
-the receptacle, smelt it with delicate <i>bonhomie</i>, and handed it to
-his guest, who sipped it with the resolution in which a man must face
-whatever torture has to be endured.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Thank you," said Mr. McTaggart, gasping, from his flayed throat.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Cheerio!" said the Collop man, and he tossed off all that
-remained&mdash;enough, you would have thought, to have felled an elephant
-in stupor!&mdash;down his own more acclimatized gullet. Then he brought
-out a large tongue, licked his lips, and smacked them.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah, that's something like!" he said. He put the flask and the silver
-cup belonging to it down on his table with a happy grunt.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, boy, I've got to dress," he said. "So long! We meet again in the
-Khyber Pass, <i>i.e.</i>, at his Nobship's groaning board!" And he laughed
-heartily at his own wit.
-</p>
-<p>
-McTaggart remembered something essential. "I say, they mustn't know that
-I know you!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"No fear!" said the redoubtable Collop, winking again. "I don't give you
-away, nor myself away, nor no one away." He had already taken off his
-tweed coat and waistcoat. "You run off and dress, laddie ... You keep
-mum. Same here!" And he dug a podgy finger into McTaggart's staggering
-chest. And they parted.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-From her room, interrupting the induing of those three pieces which
-formed all her raiment, shaking shorn hair, Marjorie telephoned in a
-fever regardless. "The Home Office.... Yes, the Home Office ... No
-reply? Oh! Nonsense! ... What, our line gone wrong? D'you mean to say we
-can't get London? ... Oh! hell!"
-</p>
-<p>
-She banged down the receiver ... There's a schlemozzle! Telephone broken
-down! Saturday night&mdash;the Monster in the Home! And no redress, no aid.
-</p>
-<p>
-Had she had tears she would have wept. What would come of all this?
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_X">CHAPTER TEN</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-m.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-Mr. Collop came out, dressed, he was surprised to find his host waiting
-for him, not to say waylaying him, in the passage outside.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I thought ..." began the politician nervously&mdash;"I thought I ought to
-have a word with you, Mr. Collop, before we ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's right!" roared Mr. Collop. "That's my style too. Always think of
-everything!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Not so loud! Not so loud!" implored his agonized host. He took the
-detective aside into yet another room with yet another fire. It looked
-like some little nursery or schoolroom, and Mr. Collop, used as he was
-to the houses of the great, marvelled at so many rooms, so many
-fires ... an empty room all ready, and with so many pictures in it,
-though on a bedroom floor.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. Collop," said the Home Secretary hurriedly when he had shut the
-door, "I thought I ought to tell you privately, and alone, before we go
-down to dinner what the circumstances are. The jewel was dropped by my
-daughter&mdash;last night after dinner. My three guests went down on the
-floor at once to look for it&mdash;it was upon the polar-bear rug which you
-will see in the West Room later. We shall go there together after all have
-retired. When they got up it had not been found ... they <i>said</i> it
-had not been found ... they <i>all</i> said it had not been found.... There
-is suspicion naturally, Mr. Collop.... You understand me?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"There's always suspicion when vallybles are missing," said Mr. Collop,
-after some thought.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, Mr. Collop, exactly! Precisely!" said the Home Secretary. "But of
-course, you know, I must be told when you come to any clue.... I blame
-no one. I suspect no one.... But the emerald is missing. And what's
-more," he added with the firmness of a newly stuffed pillow, "I shall
-not spare the culprit."
-</p>
-<p>
-"No, of course not," said Mr. Collop sympathetically. "I'll get it for
-you, never fear."
-</p>
-<p>
-His manner, though hearty, was respectful enough in such privacy, for he
-knew that though his promotion depended principally upon permanent
-officials, a good word from one of the fleeting politicians was not
-without its value at the Home Office. Therefore did he forbear to lay a
-hand upon the Home Secretary's shoulder; and therefore&mdash;still
-more&mdash;did he forbear to slap it as nature would have seemed to demand.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Thank you, Mr. Collop," said the Home Secretary gratefully, as though
-he had been given a considerable sum of money. "I trust you. I trust you
-implicitly."
-</p>
-<p>
-"You may trust me <i>im</i>plicitly and <i>ex</i>plicitly," declared Mr.
-Collop in solemn religious tones.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Thank you, oh! Ah! Thank you! Thank you again! Thank you most warmly!"
-said his host more and more nervously. "Really you know, we must not be
-seen together. Pray take your time, Mr. Collop; the ladies are always
-late coming down."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah, that's their sort, ain't it? Girls are the devil nowadays, aren't
-they?" said Mr. Collop in his friendliest tones; and with that farewell
-in his ears the master of the house slipped out.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary's next action was to go straight to McTaggart's room.
-It was an act of decision and initiative that you would hardly have
-expected in so well-bred a man. But suffering is a powerful tonic. He
-knew what he was after. He had to speak. He would come boldly, directly
-and simply. He would tell the young man of what he was accused, and ask
-him straightforwardly and at once to clear himself&mdash;or at any rate to
-say "yes" or "no." He knocked on the door; he went in; and he began
-thus:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah, Mr. McTaggart! Mr. McTaggart! I'm afraid I am interrupting you in
-your dressing. It is really very rude of me! I wish ... But the fact
-is ... It's rather important.... I want to put it to you as clearly as I
-can, and you'll understand me when I say that time presses after a
-fashion ... so to speak...."
-</p>
-<p>
-McTaggart was at the last stage when the male brushes the hair before he
-puts on the coat; all the rest of the detestable ritual was
-accomplished, including the sacrosanct tie. He stood gaping with his
-round face, a brush in either hand. Then he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, certainly, sir, if you please." He rapidly brushed his disordered
-hair into a shape yet more disordered, struggled into his coat, and
-then, with an odd reminiscence of manner elsewhere, said, "Won't you sit
-down," feeling that he was a temporary host, as it were, a host within
-his host's house; a nest of Chinese boxes.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Thank you," said the Home Secretary. "Thank you. Thank you very much.
-Thank you." And he sank his long, lean and therefore gentlemanly body
-into the only armchair. He crossed his long, lean and therefore
-gentlemanly legs, poised his two hands together like a steep Norwegian
-roof, and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. McTaggart, you will think it very odd of me, this invasion of
-your ... er, your, ah ... privacy? Yes, your privacy, er! If I may say so.
-But there is something very important I must say to you before we go
-down to dinner."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, sir," said McTaggart, still expectant, as he slowly filled his
-pockets with the various things which journalists carry about with them,
-even among the great, and which destroy the shape of their clothes.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. McTaggart ..." began the Home Secretary desperately, now leaning
-forward with his elbow on his knee and his forehead in his hand. "What I
-have to say is not very easy, but it is best to get these difficult
-things over at once. Don't you think so?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, certainly," said McTaggart.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I mean," said the Home Secretary, "it would be a great pity to waste a
-moment in beating about the bush. There's no sense in mere verbiage and
-slow approach to the essentials. Moreover, my time is short: I mean our
-time is short.... I mean there's not much time before dinner, and to
-tell the truth, that's why I came in here, so apparently suddenly....
-What was I saying?"
-</p>
-<p>
-Then, looking up and leaning back again in the chair: "But we need not
-go into all that. As I say, the great thing is to come to the point at
-once, isn't it?"
-</p>
-<p>
-McTaggart was tired of standing up. He sat down in another chair, and
-said "Yes," with a look of expectancy not quite unmixed with approaching
-boredom.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, Mr. McTaggart," went on the great statesman at last desperately,
-like a man who has determined to take a plunge. "You will excuse my
-being quite blunt and straightforward, won't you?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Of course," said McTaggart.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I mean, we have already agreed that wasting time in preliminaries over
-a matter of this kind ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"But a matter of <i>what</i> kind?" said McTaggart, now roused&mdash;though
-his guilty soul told him well what was coming.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, the fact is, Mr. McTaggart," said the Home Secretary, suddenly
-uncoiling himself and straightening out the joints until he stood up
-above the younger man&mdash;he felt it gave him a kind of moral advantage,
-and he needed it&mdash;"the fact is, it's only fair to tell you ... only
-the difficulty is how to put it. But one must be straightforward, mustn't
-one?"
-</p>
-<p>
-And once more Mr. McTaggart said "Yes." But certain ancient traditions
-of the middle class were stirring in his blood and he very nearly added,
-"You doddering old fool."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Why then, Mr. McTaggart, to put it quite plainly, ... well, now,
-perhaps I ought to say this first. You know my cousin William? The
-Professor?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes," said Mr. McTaggart, for the sixth time and with a touch of
-savagery in his voice, "I do. I have been in this house with him for
-over twenty-four hours."
-</p>
-<p>
-"He tells me, Mr. McTaggart," began the Home Secretary seriously and
-half an octave lower&mdash;"mind you, I don't say I believe it!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"No?" said McTaggart, "Well, go on."
-</p>
-<p>
-"He tells me he has proof, scientific proof&mdash; Mind you, I don't say I
-believe him! I'm only saying what he said."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes," said McTaggart, for the seventh time, and with more patience.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Scientific proof, I say&mdash;not personal, you understand. No personal
-insinuation whatever&mdash;only <i>scientific</i> proof that the
-emerald is or was&mdash;shall I say, has been, upon your&mdash;damn it
-all!&mdash;<i>person</i>."
-</p>
-<p>
-McTaggart started up. The issue was joined. He behaved very well.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. de Bohun," he said, in a slow but frank and straightforward way,
-"you are not bound to believe me. But not only have I not the emerald,
-but I will not even take the trouble to swear I have not got it. <i>I have
-not got the Emerald</i>. Is that clear?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes," said his unfortunate host. With a world of apology in his voice
-and stretching forth a deprecating hand! "Oh, yes, Mr. McTaggart! Yes,
-quite clear!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Not only have I <i>not</i> got the emerald," McTaggart went on with
-painfully clear diction, "but I know who has."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh! Lord," thought the Home Secretary, "another of 'em!" Then he said
-aloud: "Ah? Oh! most <i>interesting</i>! Who?"
-</p>
-<p>
-The other phrases he had heard during the last twenty-four hours crowded
-upon him, and he felt slightly faint.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes," said McTaggart, continuing in a virile intonation, "I know who
-has it. <i>Mr. Collop has it</i>!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"What?" shouted the Home Secretary, startled into a lucid interval of
-terseness. "Think what you are saying, young man! Collop! He wasn't in
-the house when it was lost! He's only just come."
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's true," hesitated the journalist, slowly turning over in his own
-mind how he should get out of this mess. "But I tell you what, I tell
-you he's got it.... It's only an instinct," he added with sudden
-humility. "I have these odd feelings sometimes&mdash;and they are usually
-right. My mother was a Highland woman, and I am the seventh son of a
-seventh son. I don't pretend to any proof. All I say is"&mdash;more
-firmly&mdash;"Mr. Collop has got the emerald." He gathered confidence. He
-struck his left open palm with his right fist and said: "Mr. de Bohun,
-Mr. Collop has got the emerald ... and as for me, you may go through my
-pockets, here and now, you may have me searched, here and now if you
-will, and all my clothes and all the drawers in the room and every
-corner in the room, and anything else you will. And what's more," he
-said, as he saw still further weakness in that weak old face, "I mean to
-stay in this house till the emerald appears. I owe that to my honour."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, Mr. McTaggart," said the Home Secretary imploringly, and even as he
-spoke, he heard steps on the stairs and knew that they must be going
-down, "don't misunderstand me! I am not accusing you! I wouldn't accuse
-you for a moment! I am only saying ... I am only repeating to you what
-was told to me. Indeed, I should be treating you very ill had I not done
-so. Don't you agree?" and he actually seized the young man's hand.
-</p>
-<p>
-McTaggart accepted the gesture.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I am grateful, sir," he said simply. "I quite understand that a man in
-my position would be naturally suspected."
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure15"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure15.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Mr. McTaggart explains to the Great Statesman<br />
-his theory&mdash;or rather, certitude&mdash;upon the<br />
-whereabouts of the Great Emerald.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-"Don't say that, Mr. McTaggart"&mdash;all the gentleman in him arising to
-patronize poverty&mdash;"don't say that!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"I say I can understand that a man in my position should be suspected.
-But you will see; mark my words, you will see after no long space of
-time that I was right. I have an instinct in such things."
-</p>
-<p>
-"But damn it all! Mr. McTaggart! Collop? Damn it all, think!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"No," said Mr. McTaggart, moving towards the door, "I tell you I am
-sure, for I had it in a dream." And he and his bewildered host went
-downstairs.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary, as he moved by the young man's side towards the big
-drawing-room where they were all to assemble, felt in his mind something
-like a kaleidoscope or like the music in the drunken scene of "The
-Master Singer," or like a Wiggle-Woggle or like the Witching Waves....
-Galton had seen Cousin William with the emerald. He had seen it with his
-own eyes&mdash;or else he lied. Cousin William had worked an infallible
-scientific test, and the Emerald had certainly been on McTaggart or else
-<i>he</i> lied. And yet McTaggart had not got it&mdash;or else <i>he</i>
-lied. The Home Secretary's powerful mind kept on returning to the
-central point, "How the hell could they <i>all</i> have it, and least of
-all how could Collop have it? That <i>must</i> be nonsense! ... Anyhow,
-Collop was there, that was a relief. It was his business to find out."
-Had Mr. de Bohun been in the habit of prayer he would have prayed
-fervently that Collop would track down the real man.
-</p>
-<p>
-But side by side with that relief rose an immense wave of apprehension,
-for he remembered what manner of deep-sea beast Collop was, and he
-sickened at the coming ordeal of the dinner.
-</p>
-<p>
-Nor was he wrong.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-In the hall the Devil and the Angel were having a most furious row.
-</p>
-<p>
-"What I want to bring home to you," said the Devil, pressing a red-hot
-forefinger upon a smoking palm, "is that you've intruded. You've done
-something I only had the right to do. It was my place to suggest
-McTaggart passing the Emerald on!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"It was nothing of the sort," said the Angel angrily. "You're like all
-devils; you won't listen to reason." Then he began to count off on the
-larger feathers of his wing. "Firstly, it's up to me to protect the
-young man. <i>Secondly</i>, it does no sort of harm if the 'tec finds that
-stone; why, it's all the better for him! It relieves a lot of honest and
-dishonest men from suspicion. Thirdly"&mdash; Here he hesitated, as
-theologians often do upon thirdly, thinking what he could scrape up. But
-the Devil interrupted him.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Never mind your 'thirdly.' It's a dirty trick, slipping jewels into
-people's pockets! And dirty tricks are my stunts, not yours. Wasn't it
-me," he added with a rising grievance in his voice, "that made the old
-Don stick it into his pocket to begin with?"
-</p>
-<p>
-Then the Angel played the trick which I am sorry to say is always being
-played upon poor devils: he played the trick of the superior person.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well," he said, "you may be right. I can't bother about it. I've got
-something else to do, and you can go back to hell."
-</p>
-<p>
-The Devil, stung beyond endurance, grappled and closed. They wrestled
-magnificently and it was fifty-fifty&mdash;as it always is with devils and
-angels in this world&mdash;when the Angel began to get the worst of it. The
-Devil, though shorter, was in far better training&mdash;humanity had seen
-to that&mdash;and he was pressing the Angel down, when the Angel, without
-scruple, began to increase his size and strength prodigiously, till he
-towered above the poor Devil like a giant and half broke his back.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You're cheating!" gasped the Devil. "You're working a miracle!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Anything's fair with devils!" said that most unjust Angel.
-</p>
-<p>
-With which words he transferred himself into the sixth dimension, and
-the Devil, snubbed, angered, disappointed, impotent to revenge himself,
-burning to be eased by some ill deed, flew through the night to the
-Duchess's&mdash;it was only four miles&mdash;and inspired her with the
-odious thought that she should start yet another league for bothering the
-poor. After such beastly solace he went back for the moment to his own
-place.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_XI">CHAPTER ELEVEN</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-d.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-During dinner Mr. Collop was not silent. In vain did the Home Secretary
-indicate to his servant by a grimace that Mr. Collop's wine should be
-spared. Mr. Collop had all the assurance of his breeding, and when he
-wanted more wine he asked for it. It added, if that were possible, to
-his remarkable courage.
-</p>
-<p>
-That night was forever memorable to all those present for the
-instructive lecture which he delivered upon the habits of the people of
-Bogotar. They all inwardly suffered, or chuckled, as their temperaments
-demanded. Vic ignored Marjorie's eyes and shamefully stayed on at table
-as late as possible to carry the torture forward.
-</p>
-<p>
-The men did not stop long over their wine&mdash;for by that name I deign to
-call the beverage. The evening passed as on a rack for most, while Mr.
-Collop roared busily of Bogotar, with many a droll tale and many a
-gesture of large effect to underline it. Once more Vic stuck it out. She
-was in heaven. She egged the Startler on. She asked question after
-question on the famous oil-town of the Pearson Contracts. She even asked
-about the women's love affairs and the British prospectors'
-entanglements in that ill-known resort.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Master of the House had to force the situation.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I am going to ask you," said the Home Secretary, rather pompously, "to
-excuse me for the rest of the evening. I have to talk of very important
-matters with Mr. Collop. We shall be closeted together, I fear, till the
-small hours of the morning; and I beg that you will not think me
-discourteous."
-</p>
-<p>
-The only one of the clot to whom this public speech could possibly be
-addressed&mdash;all the rest were of the Family&mdash;was the lately
-unfortunate, but now radiant, McTaggart. But it is a politician's habit to
-be pompous whenever he gets the least excuse, and McTaggart was the excuse.
-</p>
-<p>
-"On official business connected with the ... ah, with the ... well ...
-it would not be to the public interest to say precisely."
-</p>
-<p>
-McTaggart looked very carefully from under his eyelashes at his nearest
-neighbour; Victoria Mosel darted a corner look at Galton, and Galton
-grimly smiled at Marjorie. Aunt Amelia did not hear properly. Only the
-Professor rose to the occasion, carolling:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Certainly, Humphrey, certainly. By all means, Humphrey, by all means."
-Then he squeezed his bony hands together, as though he had made a joke.
-</p>
-<p>
-The women dropped out of the room. Marjorie waited above with her door
-ajar till she should know the way was clear. Then she was to come down.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Shall we go into my study?" said the Home Secretary to his latest
-guest, when the women had gone.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Thank you, I would not give ye that trouble, I wouldn't," said Mr.
-Collop heartily. "I'd as soon talk 'ere. I think better like in large
-rooms." And as he said that, the three men went out&mdash;perforce. But
-Galton went not to bet but to the small smoking-room, and Victoria Mosel
-did the same. Collop filled himself a whiskey and soda. And without
-giving his employer time to open the ball, he entered on the plan
-engendered by his mighty brain.
-</p>
-<p>
-As he began to speak, Marjorie, following the sound of voices, slipped
-in. Mr. Collop stared at her, said "'Ullo?" but returned to his
-business.
-</p>
-<p>
-"First of all," he said, with a good gulp at the spirits, "ye want a
-plan made of this here West Room, as ye call it. Now mark me," he
-insisted, as the Home Secretary half opened his never-quite-shut mouth,
-"that plan'll 'ave to be in not less than five colours&mdash;and I'll tell
-you for why. In a case of this kind, you 'ave got to distinguish between
-materials. Remember what ye're looking for! Ye're looking for a object
-that might be called transparent in a manner o' speaking."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. Collop," broke in the Home Secretary desperately, "how long will it
-take to make such a plan?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"If there's a harchitect 'andy, it needn't take three days. I've 'ad
-dozens. And next," said Mr. Collop, as loudly as before, "we 'ave to
-'ave measurements. We don't need regular surveys and we don't need to
-fill the garden wi' standards nor flags, but just measurements."
-</p>
-<p>
-"And how long will these take?" asked the Home Secretary, a fabulous sum
-mounting up before his eyes, and the impossibility of keeping his guests
-forever.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You will observe," said Mr. Collop, clearing his throat as for a
-speech, and addressing the lady&mdash;"you will observe, Miss, that what
-two men can do in one time, four men can do in arf the time, and eight
-men&mdash;why, eight men in a quarter of the time. And sixteen men," he
-continued, turning to her progenitor, "they'd take arf as much again.
-While they're making the plan in one room, if you 'ave enough men with
-chains in the grounds. Then there's the probing."
-</p>
-<p>
-"The what?" asked de Bohun.
-</p>
-<p>
-"The probing," answered his guest briefly. "That's a longer job,
-'specially as I noticed that there's stone floors about. Now 'ere's
-another matter. Look at this carpet. That's Aubusson, that is. Ah, I
-notice everything! Aubusson&mdash;that's what it is."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. Collop," broke in Marjorie, in her suffering....
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now, Miss," said Mr. Collop with command, "don't you interrupt me. Let
-me put the necessaries before you. When you get all this done, sir, what
-are you to do, then? What are you to do next? Why, I'll tell you. You'll
-have all the shutters shut: I noticed you 'ad shutters: and those
-curtains pulled. Then you'll put what they call Marlin's New Irridiant
-up. That's the light we work by. And I'll tell you for why. You 'ave
-plain electrics in the room and they casts shadows. Don't they, Miss?"
-he appealed to his hostess. But before she could agree, he went on, like
-a mighty river in flood:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now, casting shadows, you might miss a small object. That's how objects
-do get missed. You've got to think of these things. Artificial light
-that is distributed high and in the corners...."
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary could bear no more. "Yes, yes, yes," he said. "Where
-does one get the stuff?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"You'll see!" said Mr. Collop tartly, but with pardonable pride. "It's
-expensive, mind you," he added honestly. "But you got to do this job
-well or not at all."
-</p>
-<p>
-"But, Mr. Collop," said poor Marjorie, who could hardly bear another
-moment, "before all this expense couldn't we ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"No, Miss," said the redoubtable Collop, shaking his head firmly. "Not
-to be thought on! I wouldn't undertake the responsibility, I wouldn't.
-And mind you, this ain't the first job of the sort I've tackled; not by
-thousands it ain't." (An exaggeration&mdash;due, I am afraid, to the
-whiskey.) "I wouldn't undertake the responsibility! I'll put no man
-under a cloud till I've made certain that it's not lost and hiding of
-its own. If it's not found, why then it'll be time to begin."
-</p>
-<p>
-It was Marjorie who found the decision to break off the battle. She got
-up suddenly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Good night, Mr. Collop," she said. "I understand all about it now. We
-leave it to you."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Thanks, Miss," said Mr. Collop. "That's the right spirit! You leave it
-to the perfessional man, and you'll never regret it! Is it good night to
-you, sir?" he added in a voice as loud as ever, stretching out a firm
-hand and seizing that of the Home Secretary. He crushed it in an iron
-grip, so that the poor old gentleman winced with pain.
-</p>
-<p>
-"No, Mr. Collop! ... No, pray ... I must see you again in a moment,
-indeed I must ... but will you excuse me a moment?" He rose. "My
-daughter and I must have a private word together I think...."
-</p>
-<p>
-"It's my place to retire, my lord," said Mr. Collop all in the grand
-manner, weak in the distinctions. "I'll be in the library, and when you
-want me, why, come and cop me," and out he went.
-</p>
-<p>
-Without a moment's warning, Marjorie threw herself upon a sofa, crossed
-her arms upon the back of it, and began crying and sobbing in a storm.
-Her father was enormously distressed.
-</p>
-<p>
-"There, there, my dear," he said, "you are quite overwrought; you are
-tired. Get to bed. It can't be helped. We must go through with it."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, papa," she sobbed, "it's intolerable. I can't help thinking! Just
-think what they'll all think!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, my dear; I was thinking that they would be thinking what you say
-they will be thinking. I'm afraid some of them must have been thinking
-already."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Perhaps," moaned poor Marjorie, half consoled by the relief of tears,
-"that b-b-b-loody b-b-beast will find the b-b-b-b-b-bloody thing after
-all."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, my dear, yes. I hope he will. I'm sure he will. I am indeed!"
-</p>
-<p>
-She dried her eyes, sighed wearily, kissed her father good night, and
-went off to bed. It was nearly one o'clock. The poor man, as he heard
-her step go slowly up the great stairs, retained his daughter's
-despairing voice vividly in his ears. It reminded him of his
-wife's&mdash;only the vocabulary had somewhat changed since the days when
-Queen Victoria gave so admirable an example to the ladies of the land.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-He rose wearily, feeling fevered, and the worry on him increasingly
-intolerable. He stepped out into the hall; it was still fully lit. He
-rang, and when the servant came he asked him whether the offices were
-shut up. He was told that all had gone to bed but the man who had come
-at his summons. He bade him go in his turn, and put out all the lights.
-Then he himself switched out the bulbs in the hall and stared at the
-great window beside the door. It was singularly light outside, and the
-air was oppressive within. Cold as was the weather, he needed to feel
-the open. He thrust up the sash and drank in the rush of freezing air.
-</p>
-<p>
-The moon must have just risen, but a slight mist was ascending. Half an
-hour's light fall of snow had again marked off the lawn, but evidently
-hours before, since the paths were swept round the house and along up
-the avenue to the left. He shut down the sash again, a little refreshed,
-but still most ill at ease.
-</p>
-<p>
-With a sigh he turned towards the door of the library, within which
-room, alone, crouched the nightmare policeman. He forced himself in, and
-found the fellow there.
-</p>
-<p>
-"We must go into the West Room, Mr. Collop," he said. "My daughter has
-gone to bed; the house is all shut up, and we can discuss matters
-undisturbed. It is in the West Room that the thing happened. Come."
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_XII">CHAPTER TWELVE</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-i.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-In the West Room the Home Secretary opened fire on his guest.
-</p>
-<p>
-"All these schemes of yours, Mr. Collop," he said firmly, "you must
-discard. Time is essential. I ask you for some immediate action. This
-very night. Mr. Collop, I beg you to proceed."
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. Collop needed no further invitation. Proceeding was his passion&mdash;I
-might almost say, his vice.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Got to be done express?" he asked. "Right-o! Now I'll tell ye my way. I
-divide it," he continued, roaring powerfully, "into three heads." Then,
-much more loudly, "Head number one."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Pray, pray, Mr. Collop," agonised the Home Secretary, with outstretched
-hands. "A little lower, please! We must not be overheard!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"I'll tell you my express method&mdash;since ye want it express," said
-Mr. Collop, speaking now no louder than your ordinary street orator,
-railways guard or the cabinet minister at election. "First, to establish
-what I call negative evidence. This term," he added sententiously, "I
-will make clear in a moment. Two"&mdash;he ticked them off on his podgy
-fingers&mdash;"what I call the search, comparable to the experiment
-conducted by men of science; with no hypothetic bless you, none at all!
-Just random like. Now then, in the midst of that we shall find a clue.
-What then? Then number three. The hypothetic is formed, modified,
-readjusted, co-ordinated, and leads infallibly to the inevitable
-conclusion."
-</p>
-<p>
-He coughed and spat in the fire. It was perhaps the thirty-seventh time
-in the last ten years that he had recited that piece. It had been
-written out for him by his nephew, who, he was proud to say, attended
-lectures at Manchester University, and he had it typewritten on a now
-rather dirty sheet of paper which he carried about with him all over
-England.
-</p>
-<p>
-"So what do we do now?" he continued heartily. "Why, we begin by
-establishing our negative evidence. Chrm! Chrm! And how do we do that?
-Why, we make sure that it is not in this room."
-</p>
-<p>
-"But how can one make sure of that?" said the Home Secretary, puzzled.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Why, plain and straightforward, sir. I 'ave brought down my men and my
-apparatus. We'll want the floor taken up. But that won't take long."
-</p>
-<p>
-"What?" said the Home Secretary, in alarm.
-</p>
-<p>
-"The floor, sir. The floor," said Mr. Collop magisterially. "And I say
-again, it won't take long. My men will prise it up before you can say
-'Sir Garnet'! And afore we do that another set of 'em will cut the
-furniture open to see if it's not in the cracks. Then I have got two
-with the new white light."
-</p>
-<p>
-"What?" said the Home Secretary again.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Why, this new dazzle I told you on," said Mr. Collop proudly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"But my dear sir, my dear sir, when you say your men, what do you mean?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"My men, Mr. Dee Boe Hun? Why, them men I ordered to come and 'elp me
-with this job. They're at the Lion now, waiting."
-</p>
-<p>
-And without asking his host's leave, he sat down squarely at the little
-table by the telephone and rang up the Lion. When he had given his
-message, he waited, head in air, hands clasped behind his back, a
-monument of Induction and Deduction.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Do I understand you to say," groaned Mr. de Bohun miserably, "that you
-mean to pull up the floor to-night?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's it," nodded Mr. Collop. "That's right. And open the furniture.
-Only just enough to see it's not in any of the cracks. Then," he added,
-looking critically at the fine Empire looking-glass upon the wall, "we
-must have things down, of course. You never know what may lie concealed
-lurking behind."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Really, Mr. Collop, really," groaned the Home Secretary, clasping and
-unclasping his hands, "I should think that ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Job must be done thorough," frowned Mr. Collop, wagging his head. "I'd
-never undertake the responsibility of searching individuals till I'd
-made sure 'twasn't in the room where 'twas lost."
-</p>
-<p>
-Even as he spoke there came an honest bang upon the outer door; shortly
-after another, still more honest, upon the door of the room, and the
-shuffling of many feet. Once more dispensing with the formality of
-consulting his host, the great Collop unbolted the door, and with a
-Napoleonic gesture introduced his merry men.
-</p>
-<p>
-They were a sight, they were! Six of them seemed to have been chosen
-rather for strength than for intellectual power. Two staggered under an
-enormous iron tripod with heaven knows what contraption poised on its
-summit, and a cylinder of gas. Three more bore with them sundry
-instruments. And of all this little army Mr. Collop, with fine decision,
-took immediate charge.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now, then, lads!" he said; "hearty! The job's got to be done quick. All
-the rugs first, please. You two with the light, stand off! Stand on the
-window-sill. Then you won't be in the way." So they did, the marks of
-their heavy boots contrasting finely with the delicate woodwork of that
-Jane Austen room.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Rugs all rolled?" said Mr. Collop. "Yes! That's right! Shake 'em first,
-yes! That's right! Pile 'em up on that other window. Now then, tables
-out of it! Smart!"
-</p>
-<p>
-He opened the door, and behold! half a dozen willing pairs of hands
-pushed the small table, the middle table, the big desk, the little
-table, and the what-not, one after the other, vigorously into the
-hall&mdash;and the door was shut again.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now, me boys! up with the Austrians!"
-</p>
-<p>
-His heart was in his work, and he inspired his command as all great
-leaders can. The sundry instruments so useful in work of this kind did
-their rapid work, lifting one large square after another, while the
-owner of the same danced with astonishing agility from spot to spot,
-remaining at last on one isolated island, which he was courteously
-bidden to abandon; taking refuge then upon the remaining low
-window-sill, while the five large lounge chairs in the room were laid
-carefully on their backs across the joists as the work proceeded.
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's the style!" said Mr. Collop, cheerfully. "Pile 'em up, lads!
-Pile 'em up!"
-</p>
-<p>
-And those sham-ancient polished parquet squares, their very base modern
-pitch pine reverse pitifully exposed&mdash;but, as Mr. Collop proudly
-pointed out, not one of them broken&mdash;were carefully laid against
-the wall, nicely missing the Cox and the Morland, but threatening in
-some degree, should they shift or slip, the large picture of Paulings in
-the early eighteenth century, which was the place's pride&mdash;and so
-it ought to be! Paulings belonged to gentlemen then. Two of them were to
-be seen riding horses which had done nothing but eat for years and yet
-walked on their hind legs. They were followed by four dogs....
-</p>
-<p>
-But to my tale....
-</p>
-<p>
-The two citizens with the tripod set it down between the old dusty
-joists upon which the floor boards had rested, and of a sudden a most
-abominable glare, like the white heat from molten iron, shot in a shaft
-upon a corner in the uncovered lower flooring. It was brilliant beyond
-the dreams of avarice. It revealed like remorse. Mr. Collop with an
-agility surprising in a man of his build, leaped down that little
-distance, and kept on shouting directions.
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's right now! Sweep it along! Sweep it along! Sweep it along!" The
-blinding shaft of light slowly traversed the edges of the shallow void
-from end to end, from left to right. "Now back again!" said Mr. Collop.
-"Now back again!"
-</p>
-<p>
-The intense beam travelled back in another band, slightly nearer, from
-right to left; and all the while the detective followed with keen eyes
-every patch which it successively illuminated.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was not a long process. Three or four minutes at the most. And while
-it continued, the Home Secretary, perched in security on his
-window-sill, was interested in spite of himself: new science is always a
-toy.... And that was how they searched for the jewels in the flooring of
-the West Room.
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. Collop's hand went up, and the blinding shaft of light disappeared
-as suddenly as it had come.
-</p>
-<p>
-"That'll do, lads!" he said. "We know one thing now, any'ow. It didn't
-get down through the flooring; that's certain. Now then, if you please,
-we'll open the furniture."
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. de Bohun did not please.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Surely, surely it can be spared," he begged. "It's Victorian."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now, sir," protested Collop firmly, "I'll be responsible for nothing
-unless I'm pursuing my own method."
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary sighed and surrendered. With deft fingers two of the
-three extras began picking out the stitching of the chairs after every
-loose cushion had been lifted, shaken, and put aside.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was beautiful to see such expert work; at least, it was beautiful in
-Mr. Collop's eyes; but the Home Secretary almost shed tears. Those
-chairs were his father's! The Great Peal, the immortal Benjamin Israel,
-had graced them. And again&mdash;who was going to pay for all this? All the
-edges of the leather stood out; the secret places were revealed. There
-was no emerald.
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. Collop beamed with satisfaction.
-</p>
-<p>
-"That, sir," he said triumphantly, "is the end of what we've called our
-<i>Negative</i> process. Hey! Number One!" And he ticked off on his thumb,
-as he had done before.
-</p>
-<p>
-"We are now assured," he boomed, tucking his thumbs into the armholes of
-his waistcoat, "that wherever the Em'rald may be, it's not in this room.
-Stay a moment! I'd forgotten! The pictures down, please!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Again the owner gave tongue. "Do you <i>really</i> think, Mr. Collop ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, I do," answered Mr. Collop with decision. "Come. Smartly, lads!"
-</p>
-<p>
-No harm was done to the pictures; they knew their work. The Cox was
-lifted down and now leaned at a secure angle. The Morland turned its
-back canvas to the ceiling, pushed on a capsized armchair. I wish I
-could say as much for the Napoleonic looking-glass.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was just too high for one of the men's hands; he slipped, and down it
-came: an omen of ill-fortune, smashed upon the floor&mdash;round gilded
-frame, Eagle of the Legions, and all.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, well!" said Mr. Collop cheerfully. "No battle without losses, ye
-know&mdash;hey?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"I really think...." urged the Home Secretary, with something as near
-anger as his temperament allowed.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Never you fuss, sir," thrust in Mr. Collop genially. "It's all right
-now. We've proved our point. That's the 'sential. I say again, the
-Negative part is accomplished," and he smiled upon his chief with all
-the satisfaction of genius. "The em'rald's not in this room where it was
-lost. That's a cert. What's the conclusion? Why, sir, the conclusion is
-that it's <i>somewhere else</i>. And when I say somewhere else, what do I
-mean?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"You mean...." began the Home Secretary nervously, stepping down
-gingerly from his perch and trying to make his way across the
-joists&mdash;"you mean that you must now consider which, if any, of my
-guests ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-Again Mr. Collop's hand went up.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now, sir; pardon me! That's not the scientific spirit. I shall send
-these men back to the Lion, with your leave"&mdash;it was the first time
-he had asked it, and it was granted with enthusiasm&mdash;"and then I
-shall ask you, sir, to give me details, and I shall make notes. After
-that we'll sleep on it.... Before you go, men, get the Austrians down
-again. Hammer the clamps down: hammer 'em down good and strong at the
-corners; whang 'em in! You know how these Austrians buckle! We'll 'ave
-everything right again in a jiffy"&mdash;to his host&mdash;"and then
-we'll sleep sound on it. Like 'Ogs."
-</p>
-<p>
-With clamouring echo which shook those ancient walls, square after
-square of Austrian antique was thrown back into its place; with
-Cyclopean noise the clamps were driven into their former holes, and the
-shattering bangs of the heavy iron hammers sounded like thunder through
-the silent night. Twenty yards away, in the small smoking-room, Victoria
-Mosel and Tommy Galton had remained to exchange a few insults after the
-others had gone off to bed. They started at the unusual din; she very
-slightly, he with a jerk.
-</p>
-<p>
-"What are they doing?" said he suspiciously.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Making your scaffold," shot Vic decidedly: then, more doubtfully. "It's
-a damned shame! For I don't suppose you did take it after all, Tommy?
-Eh?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"If I thought there was room on you for that bloody stone," began Tommy
-viciously....
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, search me!" said Vic, without sincerity.
-</p>
-<p>
-"No, but, Vic, what <i>are</i> they doing?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Shifting the scenery, Tommy. Summoning the dead. Christ knows!" She
-yawned, to the peril of her agglutinative cigarette, but it held nobly.
-"It can't go on forever. I'm going to bed. By the time they've stopped
-I'll be asleep. So long! I'll come and look you up at Wormwood Scrubbs,
-never fear!" And the Virgin departed.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Not while you're still in Holloway," fired the puller of horses after
-her as he got up in his turn, and went out to get his candle for bed.
-</p>
-<p>
-A few moments later, when the Master of the House peeped out into the
-hall, he found all dark and deserted. He was pleased to think that his
-guests had suspected nothing.
-</p>
-<p>
-When everything was accomplished, and the little army of Scotland Yard
-men had fallen back upon its billets at the Lion (Humphrey de Bohun
-himself let them out at the front door, on tiptoe and with agonised
-whispers entreating caution. He himself had locked and bolted these
-doors); when, I say, all this affair was over Mr. Collop, first making
-quite sure that his seat was secure, took out a notebook, shot a blot of
-ink on to the re-established polar bear, and gave tongue.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now, sir, fire away!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"What do you want me to do?" said de Bohun doubtfully.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Why, just give me details of what those coves 've been doing of," said
-Mr. Collop, relapsing into the vernacular.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You mean my guests?" said the Home Secretary rather stiffly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's right," said Mr. Collop cheerfully, "the toffs."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, really.... I haven't played the spy on my guests, Mr. Collop."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, I'm looking after that," said Mr. Collop with another of his
-healthy winks. "Now, just you tell me all they did. I've got my first
-notes here. These three men what I've just met at dinner&mdash;and one of
-them's young McTaggart&mdash;I know 'im&mdash;they went down on their knees
-and they looked for it in that rug. Well and good. Then they got up, and
-they all swore they hadn't got it."
-</p>
-<p>
-"McTaggart was the last," said de Bohun, defending the interests of the
-family.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ar? ... I didn't know that!" mused the modern Napoleon deeply. And he
-noted it down. "Well, what next?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Why, to tell you the truth&mdash;the full truth, and I beg you to keep it
-private&mdash;my cousin, Lord Galton, has told me that he has seen the
-emerald&mdash;seen it with his own eyes&mdash;in the Professor's hands."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ar!" said Mr. Collop again. "That's important, that is!" and down it
-went. "Saw it with 'is own eyes: where and 'ow?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Wait a moment, Mr. Collop, wait a moment. Not long after, the Professor
-told me he had infallible scientific proof that it was in McTaggart's
-pocket. He showed me the very instrument wherewith he had been able to
-discover its presence through the thickness of the coat."
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's important too!" murmured Mr. Collop, intelligently noting it
-down. "An' what does McTaggart say?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"McTaggart ..." The Home Secretary was about to blurt out the truth and
-tell him what McTaggart had singularly announced. But he checked
-himself. To insult his last remaining prop would be fatal. "Oh,
-McTaggart?" he evaded. "Why, McTaggart said he hadn't got it."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ar! just so. 'E did, did 'e? Now, that's <i>very</i> important," affirmed
-Mr. Collop, and he noted that down also.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now here," he continued, slipping an elastic band over the notebook and
-putting it back into his pocket&mdash;"here, Mr. Dee Boe Hun, we 'ave got
-three 'ypothetics." He again began ticking them off on the thumb and
-fingers of the left hand. "First 'ypothetic: Lord Galton stole the
-em'rald. Second 'ypothetic: Old Giglamps stole the em'rald ...
-Tortoise-shell specs, I mean: the schoolmaster," and he winked again.
-"Third 'ypothetic: McTaggart stole the em'rald. Now these three
-'ypothetics," he went on, "lead to three totally different conclusions.
-Each of 'em has its conjunctions and conjugations. Mr. Dee Boe Hun," he
-concluded, rising and assuming hieratic tones, "I shall not sleep
-to-night." (There is many a true word spoken in lying.) "I shall bend
-all the energies of me mind in the ensuing hours of darkness, and on the
-morrow you shall 'ave my conclusions.... I'll trouble you, sir, to leave
-me a syphon and a drop o' something. Helps me to concentrate."
-</p>
-<p>
-"I'm afraid," said the Home Secretary, "the servants will have cleared
-the drinks away from the library, and they have all gone to bed." Then,
-terrified lest the lack of sustenance should imperil victory, he added
-hurriedly: "Don't move! Pray don't move! I think I know where to find
-it."
-</p>
-<p>
-He was away some time, going on tiptoe in the offices. When he returned
-it was with an unopened bottle of whiskey, a syphon and a glass. "I'm
-afraid I have no corkscrew," he apologised.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I 'ave," said the imperturbable Collop, who had sat royally in his
-chair to receive this tribute. He pulled out the cork, smelt the brand,
-approved of it, poured himself out a dope and a most miserable little
-splash from the syphon.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Here's luck!" he said. "Cheerio! Now you leave me <i>to</i> it!"
-</p>
-<p>
-And de Bohun left him to it, ardently praying with what was left of his
-childhood's faith to a God in whom he still vaguely believed, that never
-again in the remaining years of his declining life should he be
-compelled to harbour under the roof of Paulings any unit from the mighty
-Secret Service which he commanded, and inwardly deciding that he would
-relinquish that command for India, Paris, South Africa&mdash;nay, New
-Zealand&mdash;anything rather than bear such a burden again.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_XIII">CHAPTER THIRTEEN</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-i.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-It is a fascinating occupation to watch a powerful human brain at work
-upon some great problems&mdash;the face alive with mind, the tension of the
-muscles, the frowning eyes; and to feel behind it all that driving,
-compelling power of the intelligence wherein man is God-like.
-</p>
-<p>
-But no one would have seen this sight in the case of Mr. Collop had he
-remained. What he would have seen was a hand pouring out whiskey for
-itself over and over again and adding smaller and smaller splashes of
-soda; and at last an obese body attempting sleep in the lounge chair
-which it filled.
-</p>
-<p>
-He had comfortably made up his mind. He was going to stay in the West
-Room and sleep as he could, leaving his bed untouched by way of giving
-the impression of a long night's intellectual wrestling. Next morning he
-would take every one of the three in turn, tell each separately that he
-was from the Yard, tax them brutally with the theft, and terrify and
-bully the culprit, whichever of the three it might turn out to be, into
-confession. So decided, he chose a good chair among the mutilated
-victims, wheeled it close to the electric switches by the fire, settled
-himself down, turned off the light and shut his eyes for sleep.
-</p>
-<p>
-Now it is paradoxically true of the substantial more than it is of the
-insufficient, that they must shift and turn to find that posture in
-which their persons can best repose, especially in chairs. Nor could Mr.
-Collop at once and easily fall into the arms of Morpheus. He shifted and
-turned, and wedged in and re-wedged in and out, and moved again and
-replaced those various muscles and anatomical names of which escape
-me&mdash;or rather I never knew them, though the things themselves I know
-well enough&mdash;when all of a sudden he gave a loud and piercing cry and
-leapt up broad awake. Something had stuck into him&mdash;something
-abominably sharp. His reaction had been instantaneous. He struck a match.
-He switched on the light.
-</p>
-<p>
-He groped in the offending tail-coat pocket and&mdash;not the first to do
-so!&mdash;stared at what he found in his hand&mdash;the emerald! Its brooch
-setting was unclasped, the wicked steel pin of it was pointing at a
-challenging angle in the air. He glared viciously at the offending point
-which had wounded his innocent person; then his eyebrows relaxed into a
-stupefied stare at the stone itself.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Great God!" he said three times, "Great God! Great God!"
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure16"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure16.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Birds of the Empire.<br />
-I.&mdash;The Parrot Attaboy, in action.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-There is a current impression, taken I think from the great spate of
-detective stories upon which we are all fed, that your professional
-detective has no brains whatsoever and would be no match for the sloth
-of the Andes, or the sluggish waddle-duck of Australian and Imperial
-fame. It is an error. They are men as we are and their intelligences,
-such as they are, work more or less under the spur of prospective
-advantage. Within three minutes Mr. Collop had grasped the fact that
-fame, security, promotion, a permanent, good, appreciated, livelihood
-lay in his outstretched palm. Had he not found the emerald? <i>How</i> he
-had found it, why it was there at all, he knew not. But he had quickly seen
-how its possession might be used.
-</p>
-<p>
-"There you are, you great blighter," he murmured, addressing the
-charming gem. "Damn your green eyes! I'll make you work, I will!
-William, my boy, here's something that's got to be thought out!"
-</p>
-<p>
-For the first time for many months, Mr. Collop thought, really thought;
-"concentrated" as he would have put it.
-</p>
-<p>
-He would have done it better perhaps if he had not been so full of
-whiskey. But shock is a powerful stimulus. And he was already
-three-quarters sober and coming to conclusions.
-</p>
-<p>
-For a long time the effect of this unusual exercise was a blank and a
-confusion of mind; then there broke in upon the silence a sound which
-startled him horribly. A voice, somewhat muffled, uncertain, had spoken
-in that silence where none but him could be. He had heard it! Or was he
-mad?
-</p>
-<p>
-"Attaboy!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Was it a divine command? Had some dear wraith of the dead&mdash;his sainted
-mother perhaps, who could tell&mdash;come to comfort him in this dread hour
-of his fate? All was dead still. His hand trembled a little as he pulled
-out his watch. It was a quarter past two, and the silence was enormous.
-</p>
-<p>
-Most awfully it came again.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Attaboy!"
-</p>
-<p>
-He hardly dared to look around. Look round he did and there he saw what
-he had not before grasped&mdash;that the dome of black cloth, suspended,
-covered a cage; thence it was that once again, but this time in a
-failing, drowsy manner, came the unearthly summons:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Attaboy!"
-</p>
-<p>
-A revelation burst upon his mind. It was a revelation indeed! The whole
-scheme blazed suddenly before him.
-</p>
-<p>
-He walked boldly to the cage, took off the cover and saw what may very
-properly be called the blinking bird, for the sudden light had dazzled
-it.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Attaboy!" croaked the parrot again in a rather peevish fashion.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I'll Attaboy you!" hissed Mr. Collop through his teeth.
-</p>
-<p>
-He made his preparations to capture that innocent accomplice; his scheme
-was now fully developed.
-</p>
-<p>
-He had heard that this kind of fowl was of a very fierce and dangerous
-sort; but the plan must be pursued at all risks. He took his handkerchief
-from his pocket&mdash;a large bandanna of the noblest&mdash;and with
-a decision worthy of a better cause, whipped it round the gaudy coloured
-neck after the fashion of a cravat. A muffled protest proceeded from
-that insulted organ.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You wait!" muttered Mr. Collop vindictively, as though the poor bird
-were his enemy. He looked about him. There was a large square of black
-cloth on his host's writing-table. With that he made a second deadener,
-hoodlike, entirely covering the animal's head, and tied it securely on;
-all that now penetrated from within was a faint, varying sound which one
-had to be in the closest neighbourhood to hear. Next he cut off a piece
-of tape from the coil neatly disposed by the side of the official
-papers, and bound the fierce talons securely. Then with infinite
-precaution he slipped off the chain from its ring, and held the exotic
-biped firmly in both hands.
-</p>
-<p>
-The clipped wings fluttered a little, but they were contained by strong
-hands. Mr. Collop made for the window. He laid his living parcel down,
-where it struggled in vain; opened the shutters with infinite
-precautions for avoiding sound&mdash;above, Aunt Amelia, happily deaf, was
-deep in slumber; pulled up the sash so slowly that it seemed an age;
-went back on tiptoe, extinguished the light and&mdash;a stroke of
-genius&mdash;went noisily upstairs, bearing the parrot, to give full
-warning to anyone who might be still awake that he had gone to bed, after
-all. He tumbled his bed about. He returned.
-</p>
-<p>
-He came down gingerly in shoeless feet, and stepped out into the night.
-</p>
-<p>
-The stillness was awful, but all propitious to his plan. The thin snow
-lay even and spotless on the grass on either side of the avenue. The
-nearer trees were clear in the half light. The gravel walk, though well
-swept and clear of snow, leaving no trace of his passage, was bitterly
-cold to his thinly clad feet&mdash;for his socks were of silk, I am glad to
-say.
-</p>
-<p>
-There was a wintry mist and beyond it the white suffused radiance of the
-moon.
-</p>
-<p>
-He looked up cautiously. There was not a chink of light in any window.
-All slept, and the Holy One presided in the heavens above, beyond the
-fog in her blurred aureole of light. It was the hour for great deeds.
-And a great deed was done.
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. Collop, with infinite precautions, lifted up his captive and planted
-its two talons firmly upon the snow to the side of the swept alleyway
-and pointing at a small, most aged and somewhat stunted oak about thirty
-yards ahead of him on the edge of the swept path. He himself kept
-crouching on the swept gravel and holding poor Attaboy to the side above
-the snow. Then, still creeping noiselessly along, he planted the bird's
-claws down again about six inches further. And so on, hop by hop.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was merciful in Providence to have spared that tropical exile any too
-sensitive nerves in its claws; but it protested. It thought the march an
-indignity, and it was abominably cold. The parrot squirmed. The parrot
-resisted. But the parrot was for it.
-</p>
-<p>
-Six inches by six inches the double imprint of the claws appeared in a
-lengthening chain upon the thin snow until they had come to within ten
-feet of the oak. Then did Mr. Collop most cautiously rise from his stoop
-and, taking the bird under his left arm and standing upon tiptoe,
-stretch his right hand up to a small hollow in the stump of a branch
-that had decayed long ago: he felt its concavity. It would do. He
-carefully felt for the emerald in (now) his waistcoat pocket. It was
-safe. He turned back swiftly towards the great dark house in the
-moonlight.
-</p>
-<p>
-The thing was accomplished.
-</p>
-<p>
-As stealthily as he had come, but far more rapidly, thanking Heaven that
-still no light showed through any cranny of the mansion, he loped back,
-shut the window down again with infinite precautions and even then
-dreaded a slight sound, put his dumb confederate back, released it of
-its bandages, slipped on the cover of the cage, and crept up to bed.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-So true it is that once in every man's life comes an opportunity and
-that in every man some talent, however unsuspected, lurks.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_XIV">CHAPTER FOURTEEN</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-s.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-Sunday morning had dawned brilliant, had grown in splendour. The mist
-had gone. A low but clear and even glorious sun flashed heaven athwart
-the snowy levels and transfigured the winter sky.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary came down to breakfast late, and no wonder! Marjorie
-came down to breakfast late, and no wonder! Tommy and Vic came down
-late, and no wonder! The Professor and Aunt Amelia had met at the table
-before anyone else was about. If she expected a flirtation, she was
-disappointed. If he expected a quiet reading of the Sunday newspaper, he
-was more bitterly disappointed still. The advent of the late comers was
-a relief.
-</p>
-<p>
-Last of all drifted in, heavy-eyed but big with mastery achieved, the
-Collop.
-</p>
-<p>
-At that breakfast very little was said. McTaggart was getting used to
-the rich. He lit a pipe. But he stood mum.
-</p>
-<p>
-Victoria Mosel and Tom Galton met in Marking Room.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Vic," said Tommy Galton, "who do you think has got it?" He lounged back
-in the absurdly low, fat chair, letting himself go all loose, as is the
-habit of your hard-riding man&mdash;especially those who pull
-horses&mdash;and looking down at her calves after the admirable breeding
-of our day.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You haven't, anyhow, Tommy!" lisped Victoria Mosel, in spite of the
-hanging cigarette. "I've got that much!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Thank God for that! Spread it!" said Galton.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Thank me, too," said Vic.
-</p>
-<p>
-"All right. Thank <i>you</i>, too. Damn you! Who's got it?"
-</p>
-<p>
-Victoria Mosel turned round, spat the fragment of the cigarette into the
-fire, and lit another one.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I'm thinking," she said.
-</p>
-<p>
-"The natural thing," said Galton, shutting his eyes, "would be that
-putrid fellah McTaggart: the journalist fellah!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"<i>He</i> hasn't got it," said Vic decidedly. "And he's not so putrid,
-either. Nothin' like as putrid as you are!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's neither here nor there. He's putrid, all right. Shall I tell you
-who's got it?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"You don't know," said Vic. "Lie away."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Old Footle's got it," said Tommy, with decision. "Cousin Bill. It may
-be sewn into his sagging skin: but he's got it."
-</p>
-<p>
-Victoria Mosel looked at him curiously through her half-closed
-buttonhole eyes.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Go on!" she said.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I saw him take it," said Galton. "I saw him with my own eyes."
-</p>
-<p>
-"And you told the chief, I suppose?" said Vic, with a sneer.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, I told him," answered Tommy determinedly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"More fool you!" said Vic, sighing. "He hasn't. Old Bill hasn't got it,
-Tommy.... I've been watching you all since Collop came under this
-accursed roof. The Don's not oppressed. It's not with <i>him</i>. <i>He</i>
-hasn't got it."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, then, who <i>has</i>, Vic? Damn it, who <i>has</i>?" savagely.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then did Victoria Mosel open her eyes wide, as wide as cigar-shaped eyes
-can open, and look at the questioner; next she folded her lids into a
-most natural slit of repose, and turned her gaze to the ceiling, saying:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Look here, Tommy, I've told you already that <i>you</i> haven't got it,
-and that ought to be enough for you. <i>You</i> ought to be grateful. In
-fact, you <i>were</i> grateful just now. Only gratitude's short-lived."
-</p>
-<p>
-"I believe you've got the stinking brooch, Vic," said her cousin (by
-marriage) surlily.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You said that before&mdash;and I said, search me! I wish to Christ I had,"
-said Vic. "I'd hand it on through Baba to the van Burens next time
-Archie went to Amsterdam. They'd know what to do with it! I should get
-it back in four pieces. They'd keep the fifth&mdash;but I'd net a
-bellyful!"
-</p>
-<p>
-The young man got up from his lounge and stood surlily with his hands in
-his pockets.
-</p>
-<p>
-"It's got to be found!" he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-"It'll be found all right," assured Vic deliberately. "And who'll be
-relieved then, my boy?" And she dug a lean elbow with maidenly modesty
-under his fifth rib.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Go to hell!" shouted the goaded Tommy. He intended to convey, after his
-fashion, that the conversation was closed.
-</p>
-<p>
-He sauntered out of the room and Victoria Mosel, who always liked a warm
-chair in winter, sank back into the seat he had abandoned. She lit her
-third cigarette, the fifteenth of that morning, and shut her eyes to
-think over the matter fully. She had been up late the night before and
-Sunday morning is a good time for repose. She fell into a lounging
-little self-sufficient sleep, and snored in a gentle fashion, not
-unmusical ... dear Victoria!
-</p>
-<p>
-And that was the end of the judgment passed by one select&mdash;and
-small&mdash;section of the governing classes upon a problem so closely
-concerning them all.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-But the moment of revelation had come. Mr. Collop dared not stay, lest
-sure steps should obliterate the unwilling traces of Attaboy across the
-snow.
-</p>
-<p>
-"None of 'em going to church, I hopes?" said he to his host after
-breakfast.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Surely! Surely some one," was all the Victorian could say.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well," brutally, "none of 'em can. They've all got to be here together.
-We want every witness, sir; every one.... <i>I've found the emerald</i>!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"What? Eh! What!" staggered Humphrey de Bohun.
-</p>
-<p>
-"<i>I've found the emerald</i>!" repeated the policeman enormously. "...
-Leastways, I've found where it is."
-</p>
-<p>
-"What am I to do?" begged the statesman, all of a flutter. "What are
-your plans? It's urgent! Innocent men must be cleared!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Orl in good time!" pronounced the majestic Collop. "Orl in good time!
-First tell 'em there's no church this morning. Go and tell 'em that.
-Soak into 'em all. I've got to 'ave my witnesses&mdash;and you'll be glad,
-too, when it's over."
-</p>
-<p>
-In his heart the Victorian relic, bleeding though he was from such a
-manner, felt that he would.... Anything to get it over!
-</p>
-<p>
-"I've got a word to say to you, Sir Humphrey"&mdash;it was no longer "My
-lord"&mdash;"afore we summons 'em, and then you shall see what you shall
-see. Meanwhile, you go and tell 'em to stand by. I'll bide 'ere."
-</p>
-<p>
-And he bided, while the far wealthier and therefore greater man trotted
-round on his errand.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I'm sorry," he said to each couple, as he ferreted it out, "but I must
-ask you not to go out. <i>The emerald's found</i>; at least ... you'll see.
-Only wait where you are just a moment. I'll send for you all."
-</p>
-<p>
-He repeated that phrase three times and fixed them to their stations;
-then he ran back to the deliverer.
-</p>
-<p>
-He found the deliverer at the door of the West Room.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Come in here, Mr. Dee Boe Hun," he said. "Look round, Sir
-Humphrey&mdash;what do you perceive?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Nothing," said the Home Secretary. Then he found the manhood to add,
-"Hurry up!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ar! 'Urry up, is it?" said the masterful policeman deliberately. "Now
-there's a little point to be settled first." He compressed his lips, as
-though for a reprimand to an inferior. "The first thing that's got to be
-proved&mdash;and that's simple&mdash;is, was there a winder left open here
-the night o' the great disaster?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"You mean on Friday night? The day before yesterday? The night the jewel
-was dropped?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yep!" answered Mr. Collop. "I do."
-</p>
-<p>
-"A window?" repeated the statesman, remembering the shutters, the
-curtains, the fire, all the scene.
-</p>
-<p>
-"A winder was left open," insisted bovinely Mr. Collop. "I'll lay to
-that. And if you'll settle that p'int you'll see 'ow the rest'll follow.
-I tell you I 'ave me clue; it's more than a clue; it's a find. Ye'll
-see!"
-</p>
-<p>
-The mechanism of a great house (delightful thought!) involves a
-hierarchy. The Home Secretary rang, and asked for the butler. An
-underling sought Mr. George Whaley, and Mr. George Whaley arrived. There
-was that in his eye which might have alarmed or warned the Head of the
-de Bohuns; but the Head of the de Bohuns was passing weary in the head
-just now, and he noted nothing.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh!" he said, "I wanted you, Whaley ... to ask
-you&mdash;er&mdash;whether ... yes, to ask you who it is who does the
-room here in the early morning? Who, for instance, would be in the room
-here, say, well, before anybody else?"
-</p>
-<p>
-George Whaley coughed discreetly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"By rights, sir," he said, "it ought to be Annie. But it is possible, of
-course, that the Boy&mdash;&mdash;"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah! yes," said the Home Secretary. "The Boy. Of course!" He had vaguely
-heard that the Boy was the servant of the servants of the gods. "Well
-then, you think it would be the Boy? Send me the Boy!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Very good, sir," said George Whaley. But as there had been that in his
-eyes, so there was now that in his more manly gesture, as he turned
-round to pass majestically through the door, which might have warned
-once more, his master that he, George Whaley, had acquired new powers.
-There was a sense of approaching equality with the Great in George
-Whaley's waddle as he went through the door. From the mere dependent he
-was attaining the higher and political rank of blackmailer. But all
-these indications fell without effect upon the jaded de Bohun.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Boy appeared. He stood at attention, after a fashion he had seen at
-the pictures. He stared with gooseberry eyes at his employer. The head
-of the de Bohuns was kind to him.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Look here, boy," he said. "Look here. I've got to ask you something.
-Did you open a window in this room, or leave it open, or find it open,
-yesterday, Saturday morning&mdash;eh? Were you here before anybody
-else&mdash;eh? You understand what I mean. Did you open a window, or any
-window, or find one open&mdash;eh?"
-</p>
-<p>
-The boy Ethelbert, standing as stiff as a poker and on the verge of
-tears, gave tongue.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I ain't done nuthin'!" he said. "Don't yer say I took that em'ral'! I
-never did! I never set eyes on it. Don't you say that. It ain't true. I
-knows no more about it than the child unborn, what's in the Good Book."
-</p>
-<p>
-The Head of the House was annoyed.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Who's saying you did, you little fool? All I want to know is, whether
-the window was open?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"I never touched it!" complained the youth more loudly still, and
-stiffer than ever, but with tears already gathering in his eyes. "I
-never did! So 'elp me Gawd! I couldn't tell it from a chunk o' cheese. I
-don't know what it looks like. I wish I may die. I wish I may drop down
-dead 'ere an' now!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Collop, the policeman, took charge.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Look 'ere, me lad," he said in the fine bullying voice of his noble
-trade, "none o' that! Did yer leave the window open, or 'ave yer seen it
-open?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oo're you?" perked Ethelbert, stunned to boldness by terror, though
-still at attention. "Mr. de Bones 'e's my master; not you!" Then turning
-to that master, he continued, "I tell you, sir, straight honest from the
-shoulder, I'm a British lad, I am, so help me Gawd as made me own sweet
-self and little apples, I swear I never seen the thing."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Look here, child," said Mr. de Bohun in a final sort of fashion, "was
-there a window open or was there not?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"No, sir, there was nawt."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Why the hell couldn't you say that before?" muttered the politician.
-"You're sure there was not?" he added. "Was there a catch undone?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Never mind about the catch," broke in Collop. "Time'll show that
-doesn't matter."
-</p>
-<p>
-"There wasn't a window open, sir, at all, till I opened one, sir," said
-the Boy, "to let in Gawd's fresh air&mdash;which is orders."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, you <i>did</i> open one then?" said his master.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, sir!" said Ethelbert, still at attention.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah! <i>Now</i> we're getting on!" said Collop. "That's what I always said.
-A winder was opened! Eh? A winder was opened! Now you mark me," he went
-on, turning to his host and tapping the palm of his round left hand with
-the stubby forefinger of his right. "That's another clue. A winder was
-open."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Don't you dare say I touched it!" from the distraught Ethelbert.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You shut yer mouth, boy," answered Collop without courtesy. "Tell him
-to shut his mouth, sir&mdash;tell him plain. He's distracting me."
-</p>
-<p>
-"But there's some on us," went on Ethelbert desperately, refusing to
-shut that mouth, "as might speak if we knew...."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah, now," said de Bohun eagerly. "Do you hear that, Mr. Collop? Do you
-hear that? The Boy may reveal ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-Collop stepped in between. "Pay no attention, Mr. Dee Boe Hun. I got my
-clue, and we mustn't 'ave no cross scents. You take me?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well," said his host, legitimately nettled, "I don't see any harm in
-getting whatever evidence we can."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah, and you're right there," said young Ethelbert, still at attention.
-"And what's that sime hevidence, eh? That's what I say, sir.
-Hevidence&mdash;as clear as daylight, from them as knows. There's some as
-could speak if they would, and some as knows what others doesn't know.
-It isn't always them as needs things most as pinches 'em. And maybe,
-times, it's them as needs 'em least as pinches 'em!" He lowered his
-voice and mysteriously added, "The 'ighest!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Look here, Boy," said de Bohun, fatigued with such recitals: "if you've
-got anything to say, say it. Mr. Collop and I are pressed."
-</p>
-<p>
-"What I've got to say," answered Ethelbert, with a solemnity beyond his
-years, "is plain enough, I tike it. 'Oo's to blame? Mum's the word. But
-there's some in this house that's 'igher than others. And 'oo's the
-'ighest? A lord, I tike it?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Do you mean Lord Galton, child?" said the peer's cousin, sharply. "Are
-you saying Lord Galton took the Emerald?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"I've named no names," said Ethelbert, trembling between fear and
-importance. "But this I do say, and it is ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Have you any evidence against Lord Galton?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now, Mr. Dee Boe Hun," urged Mr. Collop with decisive hands. "Now,
-please don't let's 'ave a cross scent."
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary waved him aside. The family was concerned.
-</p>
-<p>
-"What have you got against&mdash;or about&mdash;Lord Galton? Say what you
-have to say, and let's have it over."
-</p>
-<p>
-"What I've got to say," said the Boy, "is what is but my plain duty to
-say. I names no names. I asks no questions and I don't get told no
-lies!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Upon my word!" cried his master angrily, almost moved to action. The
-boy Ethelbert at the end of so long a tension gave a loud cry of terror
-and suddenly whipped round and fled through the open door.
-</p>
-<p>
-They were disconcerted.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, Mr. Collop," said Mr. de Bohun on the child's vanishing, "that's
-another complication. It's Lord Galton now!" and he sank into a chair.
-Things were becoming too much for him.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Don't you believe 'im," said Mr. Collop firmly. "What I say is, no
-cross scents. What do 'ounds do when they find a cross scent?"
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. de Bohun would have been only too happy to tell him, but he had
-never hunted.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Why, they miss the right one. That's wot they do. And do they catch the
-fox? No. A thousand times, no! Now," said he, again tapping that palm of
-his with that forefinger of his. "You mark! Forget all about Lord
-Galton. It's servant's romancing. I told you I already 'ad one clue. And
-'ere I've gone and got <i>another</i> clue! An' they both fit in.... And
-now," he added peculiarly, gazing out of the window as though he would
-admire the wintry morning with its clear scintillating skies, "I'd have
-you note another clue. Look there," he said&mdash;and with the gesture of
-Hannibal pointing out the plains of Italy, Mr. Collop extended his left
-arm and directed his somewhat too thick forefinger towards the avenue
-and the sheets of snow on either side of the great gravel walk. "What
-have we there?" he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-De Bohun, weary after his sleepless night, had to get up again from his
-chair and look where he was bidden. "I ... I don't see anything, Mr.
-Collop," he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-"No," said Mr. Collop indulgently. "You wouldn't. It wants a trained
-eye. Now, you'll excuse me, sir, but if you 'ad been in the Yard as I
-'ave, and as long as I 'ave, you'd see something. It's only a fine
-indication, like, but your mind would leap to it. At least mine 'as. Do
-you notice any marks on that snow?"
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. de Bohun honestly said he could not&mdash;nor could any man have seen
-any from where he stood.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I certainly see no footprints," he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Footprints o' wot?" answered Mr. Collop. "Footprints o' 'uman beings?
-Man and woman? Leastways boots? Nah!" and he shook his head. "You
-want ... you want your eyes better skinned than that in our trade, if
-you'll excuse me saying it. Shall I <i>tell</i> you what's there? I can see
-it."
-</p>
-<p>
-His host was justly irritated. "Well, I can't," he exploded. "What
-<i>is</i> there?"
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. Collop leant over, made a shell of his hand and whispered in a voice
-to wake the dead:
-</p>
-<p>
-"Footprints of a fowl! Leastways," he added hurriedly, "not a domestic
-fowl, I mean. But a bird. A bird's been there!" he added, nodding
-solemnly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, what of it?" said the last of the de Bohuns, still more
-irritated.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah! You'll see!" said Mr. Collop, in a tone of great equality.
-</p>
-<p>
-He stepped back, pulled his waistcoat down over his paunch, passed his
-hand cavalierly over his abominable moustache, and gave an order&mdash;as
-though he were master&mdash;for he now felt himself securely in the saddle.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Summon 'em here," he said, with a large wave of his right hand, "summon
-'em all. It's accomplished!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Summon who?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Me feller guests," said Mr. Collop. "They shall witness the
-<i>daynoumong</i> and their souls shall be eased."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. Collop," said the harassed Home Secretary, "what need is there for
-this?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Witnesses! Mr. Dee Boe Hun!" royally. "Record! You'll be astonished."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Very well, Mr. Collop, if you require them."
-</p>
-<p>
-He made a gesture as though again to ring; then thought better of it and
-went out himself, looking at his watch as he moved to the door. He had
-seen no one go out. It was not yet half past ten o'clock: no one would
-yet have started for church. He remembered with pleasure that for once
-in her life Victoria Mosel had come to breakfast. He ferreted them all
-out, McTaggart cowering as usual&mdash;and very sad&mdash;in the old
-smoking-room; Galton and Vic, whom he surprised in the very act of
-repeating the word "putrid," he found in the library, already stale with
-smoke; Aunt Amelia he dragged out, almost by force, from the corner of
-the little morning-room where she was sitting, half somnolent, like the
-good mutton she was, her knitting laid aside on the Holy Day and
-wondering by the clock whether it was time for her to put on her bonnet
-(help!) for church. The Professor he had the good luck to catch at the
-very last moment as he was making for the glass doors of the hall, all
-ready muffled up for a walk. As for Marjorie, he had to go and find her
-in her room where she was desperately locked in, miserable.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. Collop has got something to tell us, my dear. Won't you come down?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Blast him!" came in tearful, broken tones from within.
-</p>
-<p>
-"No, my dear, but please do come down. He really wants us all."
-</p>
-<p>
-"I don't believe it's any use&mdash;no use at all, the rotter!" broke out
-that tearful voice.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Marjorie, dear, please come."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Very well"&mdash;with a grunt from within&mdash;"but it's no use!"
-</p>
-<p>
-So the shepherd got his flock together. He was in a strange mood that
-the occasion was ceremonial, and he felt a fool. He almost counted heads
-as he roped in his little herd. They were all there. They filtered into
-the West Room, expecting little, and annoyed in their various ways;
-Marjorie hideous with recent tears, Aunt Amelia almost baa-a-ing, the
-Professor inept, McTaggart desperately out of place, the puller of
-horses more sullen than ever, and ah! the triumphant Victoria Mosel,
-cool as the woodland goddess of old songs&mdash;but smoking.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure17"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure17.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Birds of the Empire.<br />
-II.&mdash;The Parrot Attaboy, out of action.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-They stood huddled in the West Room under that Sunday morning light,
-looking on the ravaged furniture, the staring pink circle where the now
-demolished glass had saved the paper from fading, the Parrot's
-cage&mdash;but gazing above all on the immortal Collop and awaiting his
-great news.
-</p>
-<p>
-In that solemn and expectant silence&mdash;the chimes for church were
-ringing&mdash;the parrot sneezed three times, with a grievance, and very
-hoarsely muttered "Attaboy!" and shivered. It had a cold in the head.
-</p>
-<p>
-Nor did Lord Galton wince&mdash;though that parrot had suddenly revealed to
-him a world of things about his cousin's conversations when his back was
-turned.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_XV">CHAPTER FIFTEEN</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-m.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-Mr. Collop was standing dramatically in the midst of that large
-apartment, a squat tower of triumphant modesty and unassailable success.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I asked His Honour, Mr. Dee Boe Hun, to bring you all in," he said, as
-though they were a school, "so's ye might see how things like this are
-<i>done</i>. It's the end of what's been troubling you all; what's been
-biting you! Oh! I know your distress," he added kindly, fixing Galton
-with his eye first, then the Professor. "But first and to start with, I
-'ave a confession to make, I 'ave. Ye thought me His Majesty's
-representative in Bogotar, just returned." He smiled genially. "Ar! ye
-thought that, and nat'rally enough. Well, now, I'm free to tell ye the
-truth. An' in <i>my</i> trade," he went on, crossing his arms boldly,
-"that's not too often, Gawd helping us! Now 'oo am I? I'm from the Yard. In
-plain English, I'm what they call a detective. Now don't start!" he
-added, releasing his left hand and holding it up. Nor had any of them
-started, least of all Aunt Amelia, who had not clearly heard the last
-words. "There's no 'arm done, there's none o' you to blame. There's none
-o' you suspect. You'll none o' you have the darbies on," he added, with
-kindly jocularity. "Oo's done it?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure ..." began the Professor with ready
-tongue.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You'll excuse <i>me</i>, Professor," said Mr. Collop with dignity, "but I
-must continue. Ah! 'oo's done it, I arsk? The question we 'ave all on us
-been asking. And now"&mdash;with mysterious dignity&mdash;"ye shall see. If
-any of ye is for wrapping up before ye go out of doors say so. It's only a
-little turn."
-</p>
-<p>
-No one was for wrapping up before going out of doors. They were getting
-intrigued.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Foller me," said Mr. Collop after the fashion of the great leaders of
-mankind. He threw open the window towards the avenue and heavily
-straddled himself out. The Professor's long legs followed; young Lord
-Galton, a good deal bored, with his hands in his pockets, took it at a
-stride; Marjorie's short skirts negotiated it; McTaggart tried to jump
-it, hit his head on the sash, rubbed it, and then more sensibly walked
-across. As for Vic, she put a bony hand upon the sill and vaulted
-lightly over. Poor Aunt Amelia stood looking after them in vain, like
-the women of Ithaca when first the king sailed away to the gathering of
-the chiefs and of whom it is written:
-</p>
-
-<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
-<span class="i2">"This is the hall where all the women spinning</span><br />
-<span class="i2">Sang of the Kings who sailed away to Troy."</span>
-</div></div>
-
-<p>
-She could not vault; she could not even stride. Lastly, the Home
-Secretary himself hooked a lean shank over and stood with the shivering
-group. Outside they all came on to the swept gravel of the avenue, with
-its row of bare trees and its border of broad snow on either side. Mr.
-Collop with a gesture still more majestic than any he had yet assumed,
-pointed with iron hand and arm at the light snow which covered the grass
-upon the right. There, sure enough, was the mark of a bird's claw. And
-side by side with it, the other triple mark of the bird's other claw.
-</p>
-<p>
-"A bird 'ops," pontificated Mr. Collop, significantly. "'E don't
-run&mdash;'cept ostriches and such like. 'E 'ops. Foller me!"
-</p>
-<p>
-His left hand slightly clenched, with his right he pointed down
-continuously to the border of the snow, whence, at short intervals,
-those two triple marks appeared and reappeared.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mark you," said Mr. Collop, facing the group&mdash;the now half-frozen
-group. "I said, a bird 'ops. What 'opped 'ere? A bird!"
-</p>
-<p>
-They approached the fatal tree.
-</p>
-<p>
-"And 'ere," said Mr. Collop in the tone of a guide conducting a party of
-tourists, "our marks are lost. And for why? 'E takes the air! Whither
-will 'e take the air? Put ye'self in his place. Whither would a bird
-take the air from hence, seeing what fatal burden 'e bore in 'is beak?"
-He half waved, half pointed, with his left hand at the hollow-branched
-stump just higher than their heads and some ten feet away. "Foller me,"
-he said again.
-</p>
-<p>
-They followed him&mdash;but not to the point of going on the snow, which
-Mr. Collop did with great courage and resolution. He stood on tiptoe by the
-trunk and stretched his clenched left hand upward, groped with it hidden
-to the wrist in the hollow of the rotten branch, lifted it out again
-high between them and the frosty January sky. There held between the
-thumb and forefinger, unmistakable, recovered, was the Emerald.
-</p>
-<p>
-"What did I tell yer?" he waved triumphantly in that keen air, "Brains,
-gentlemen ... ladies <i>and</i> gentlemen, I mean.... Brains! Induction."
-And he calmly slipped the gem into his pocket.
-</p>
-<p>
-Had they been in a warm room they would have applauded: it was so
-exactly like the best tricks. But they were cold. They huddled back. It
-was only twenty or thirty yards; they would be in the warmth again in a
-moment.
-</p>
-<p>
-I know very well that there ought to have been a shock of surprise. A
-cheer. Excitement. What you will. But, Lord! it was so cold!
-</p>
-<p>
-One by one they clambered, straddled, strode, vaulted, crawled and
-shambled over the low window ledge and back into the room. Mr. Collop
-came last, and slammed the window down behind him: and Aunt Amelia
-welcomed them as might the old nurse of Ulysses when he returned at last
-from so much wandering. As the warm air revived them they began to feel
-him, very rightly, a hero.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Now," said he, "shall I show ye all 'ow these things are done? Step by
-step, unbeknownst to others? Ah! It's worth knowing! Look 'ere," and he
-began, their interest rising as their blood began to move again: "You
-mayn't see it, but I see it, here on this parky floor." He stooped down
-and tapped it with his finger. "Little marks. Little marks."
-</p>
-<p>
-There were no little marks&mdash;but no matter. He had done his best to
-suggest them. The Professor greatly helped them by his folly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes! I see! Oh! Yes! Most interesting! I see them now!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"And where does they lead? Why, to the winder. Then what did I say to
-myself? I ses, 'A bird! A daw!' And mark you, gentlemen&mdash;ladies and
-gentlemen, I mean&mdash;I didn't come to that blindly, either. For you'll
-pardon me, but I know what you'd all said."
-</p>
-<p>
-The guests looked&mdash;or at least, most of them did&mdash;at their host.
-But he was modestly regarding the carpet.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I know as 'ow you 'ad, all or most of you, felt suspected like and
-might well enough think you could each o' ye be certain which o' ye it
-was. And ye were wrong," he continued, wagging his head solemnly. "Orl
-wrong! It was but an innocent bird. Or a thievish bird. Any'ow&mdash;a
-bird. That's what it was&mdash;a bird. When I 'eard of your confusion
-from our good host here"&mdash;and again Mr. de Bohun looked
-anyhow&mdash;"I says to meself, 'They're innocent, they are!' That was
-my first clue. Orl innocent," he emphasized cheerily, nodding in a nice
-heartening way to McTaggart, the Professor and young Galton, the last of
-whom said, almost audibly, to Vic, "The stinker!" and to whom Vic
-whispered back, "Well, he found it, anyhow!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Orl innocent," went on Mr. Collop. "Orl as white as the driven snow.
-And 'oo set things right and proved you so? Why, yours truly.... First,
-arter I'd thought 'ard orl night, I looks by the first white o' morning
-at the parky&mdash;and sure enough I sees them faint prints on the wax,
-like: an' them near the winder. What are the birds as thieves? Why,
-daws! Now, ladies and gentlemen, daws 'as claws; talons, ye may call
-'em, of a 'ighly partic'lar kind. It's our business in my trade to know
-orl we can&mdash;and I can tell a daw's claws from any other claws, or
-paws ... any other in the wide world.
-</p>
-<p>
-"So wot does I do? In this same early morning, afore any one of ye were
-up&mdash;at any rate, afore any of yer had showed themselves, I was out
-trailing. Sure enough, there I found where the bird had gone, for I
-marked his prints on the snow. When I found where the bird 'ad 'opped
-to, I follered to where he'd sat on the air. When I found where he'd
-taken the air, what does I do? Did I say to myself, ''E 'as flown far,
-far away; give up the search, William Collop? You are proven right, but
-the hem'rald will not be seen again by mortal eye.' Did I despair thus?
-No, not I! I thinks to myself, knowing the habits of birds better than
-most&mdash;we 'ave to know such things in our trade&mdash;he 'as put it
-near by, so's to be able to come and gloat on it. They love to go and gloat
-on what they 'ave taken, do daws. Then I noted that rotten stump o' branch
-just convenient to the bird where he took the air, and I says
-'Yureeker,' which is, being interpreted, 'Found.' But I didn't touch
-that bole; no, I trusted to my induction. I was as sure it was there as
-though I'd seen it, and I wanted to lead up to it step by step so's ye
-might be witness to the discovery. Weren't I right?
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's why I asked you all to be brought 'ere. That's why I took you
-all out and made the thing clear to you before your own eyes; William
-Collop said he'd find the hem'rald where his induction told him it would
-be. And there he found it!"
-</p>
-<p>
-His face was irradiated with no common glory.
-</p>
-<p>
-"An' now," he said, at the end of this harangue, and plunging his hand
-into his coat pocket to fish out the gem, "now I restore it&mdash;'Ullo!"
-he frowned; the groping of his hand in his pocket looked like some small
-animal fighting in a bag. "'Ullo!" he repeated and still he groped.
-"'Ullo&mdash;'ullo! Wot's this!" His face grew black. He eyed successively
-with some disfavour the Professor, McTaggart and Galton. "You were all
-close together," he said suspiciously, "as we came through that winder!"
-Then suddenly, "Ah! 'ere it is! Smother me if it 'adn't gone through a
-hole in the lining. That's my missus, that is. She's that careless." And
-turning the receptacle inside out he gingerly picked the jewel from the
-tear between the sateen, with threads still attached to its setting.
-</p>
-<p>
-"There now! Wot was I saying? I restore it to its rightful owner!" And
-with a bow, unlike that of Lord Chesterfield's dancing master, he handed
-it to Marjorie.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, thank you, Mr. Collop, thank you!" said Marjorie. "Thank you a
-thousand times. I don't know how to thank you!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"It's really very remarkable, Mr. Collop, very remarkable indeed. Very
-remarkable," said the Home Secretary. He went so far as to wring his
-subordinate by the hand. "We are infinitely obliged to you."
-</p>
-<p>
-The guilty three were less enthusiastic; but they murmured as though
-they would be polite&mdash;though Galton's murmur, overheard by Vic, was,
-"I believe he pinched it himself!" And Vic answered in a second whisper,
-"Fat-head!"&mdash;a chosen epithet delivered with such real contempt in the
-slit of a dark eye as made the poor horse-puller wince.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then Aunt Amelia bleated:
-</p>
-<p>
-"I don't quite understand. <i>Who</i> does Mr. Collop say stole the
-emerald?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Amelia! Amelia!" protested her brother severely.
-</p>
-<p>
-"But I want to know," began poor Aunt Amelia pathetically. "I didn't
-hear properly. I want to know who it is has been found to have stolen
-the ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-Her brother interrupted desperately.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I'm so sorry," he cried, turning to the others, but directing his
-remarks particularly and courteously to McTaggart, as the stranger. "You
-must excuse my sister. She does not always hear."
-</p>
-<p>
-"I must thank you myself, personally and warmly, Mr. Collop," said
-Marjorie, the ancient courtesy of the Bohuns strong in her veins. "We'd
-all got lousy with worry, and you've hit the cocoanut."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Thank you, Miss, I'm sure," said Mr. Collop, bowing again in the manner
-aforesaid.
-</p>
-<p>
-And they all drew apart to various rooms, but Victoria Mosel, lingering
-for a moment, whispered in Mr. Collop's ear, "I saw it in your hand
-<i>before</i> the tree!" The detective started. "For Gawd's sake!" he
-pleaded under his breath.
-</p>
-<p>
-"All right, I don't give people away." She nodded reassuringly and
-slipped away.... Hence for so many years the devoted service of Mr.
-Collop whenever Victoria cared to summon him.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary had detained McTaggart, catching his arm as he turned
-to go, and had said, "Wait a moment, Mr. McTaggart, wait a moment. Mr.
-Collop, I think it is only just to say in your presence that I had
-repeated to this young gentleman&mdash;not my suspicions&mdash;they were
-not my suspicions&mdash;but what I had been told were the suspicions of
-others."
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. Collop bowed again in the aforesaid manner.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. McTaggart," the Home Secretary continued, "I'm going to ask Mr.
-Collop to let us have a few words together alone. Mr. Collop, where may
-I see you in five minutes?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Where you will," said Mr. Collop with chivalry. "I'll be looking at the
-old paintings in the 'all. The ancestors, I've seen them in the ball
-room already," he added, nor was there any irony in his innocent soul.
-</p>
-<p>
-When he had shut the door behind him, the poor old Home Secretary put an
-almost fatherly hand on McTaggart's shoulder.
-</p>
-<p>
-"My dear young sir," he said, "what can I do? How can I apologise? It is
-not enough to ask you to forgive me. May I ask to communicate with you
-when we reach town?"
-</p>
-<p>
-The mind of McTaggart was not alert, but even he foresaw the
-possibilities. Politicians have not very great power nowadays save in
-patronage; that they still do retain; of public money there are some odd
-millions every year at the disposal of the politicians. It is only fair
-to say that most of them are content with moderate pickings for
-themselves and their connections.
-</p>
-<p>
-Therefore did McTaggart answer with a natural prescience of coming
-advantage. "It is very good of you, sir. May I call at the Home Office?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, yes. Shall we say Thursday at noon?" De Bohun marked it in a
-little pocket book and then joined Collop in the hall, as McTaggart
-walked off.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. Collop," he said, "won't you come back and talk to me a moment in
-private?"
-</p>
-<p>
-They returned together. And exactly the same scene was rehearsed, except
-that he dared not put a hand on the shoulder of such a being as Collop.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. Collop," he said, "you know that the Department of which I am the
-head is proud of you."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Thank you, sir," said Mr. Collop sedately. "Thank you very much." He
-then added: "I have only done my duty...." But I am glad to say that he
-did not add "as a man is bound to do," for if he had done that de Bohun,
-whose nerves were already on edge, might have had a fit. However, he
-meant something of that kind. So let it be credited to him.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Mr. Collop," went on the Home Secretary, "when I go to the office
-to-morrow, Monday, I hope you will allow me to make a particular point
-of seeing you. Men of your kind must not be wasted."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Thank you, sir," said Collop again, in a tone which showed a full sense
-of his worth. "I shall always be at your orders."
-</p>
-<p>
-And so, you will say, the great thing ended.
-</p>
-<p>
-Wrong again.
-</p>
-<p>
-De Bohun had sunk back into his chair, now at last at rest. There were
-still inexplicable things drifting through his mind. He had vague
-memories of Galton accusing his cousin the Professor, and the Professor
-accusing McTaggart, and McTaggart spotting Collop; of himself accusing
-McTaggart; of the boy Ethelbert accusing Galton. He even had confused
-recollections of their actually swearing to things they had seen which
-they could not have seen. But he sighed with deep content at the
-solution of it all, and he thought of his daughter's relief. He decided
-to worry himself with contradictions no more. The emerald had been
-found; a bird had taken it, and no one was to blame. That man Collop had
-genius.... Marjorie would be in a better temper now. He shut his tired
-eyes. He was on the point of falling into a short sleep after so much
-strain when there was a knock at the door, and he saw as he opened his
-eyes again, not too pleased at being wakened, the august, the discreet,
-the considerable figure of George Whaley.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="CHAPTER_XVI">CHAPTER SIXTEEN</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-i.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-"I beg your pardon, sir! May I have the honour of a moment's confidential
-word with you?"
-</p>
-<p>
-The refined, the courteous phrase, was followed by a discreet cough. The
-cough was a trifle mechanical, the words a little too rapidly spoken, as
-is (alas!) the common fate of words learned by heart for a set piece,
-whether by front benchers or perjuring policemen. What followed was
-marred by the same slight defect, but it was at least clear. It
-rattled out&mdash;to quote a noble simile from the <i>Wallet of Kai
-Lung</i>&mdash;"like a stream of pearls dropped into a bowl of jade."
-</p>
-<p>
-"There has come to my knowledge sir which would grieve my 'eart to
-distraction and breaking were it not overcome by the more powerful
-emotion of gratitude for so many happy years passed under this 'ere roof
-at Paulings I mean this roof at Paulings and formerly when we had a town
-house if I may make so bold in one hundred and twelve Curzon Street
-Mayfair moved by this my 'eart would not let me keep silent. Oh! sir. I
-know the dread secret and if I come to speak of it it is from loyal
-affection and no other cause and here and now I put at your service as
-in duty bound all that has come" ... here Mr. Whaley suddenly clasped a
-fat right hand against his chest: He ought to have done it at the word
-"heart," but the brakes had slipped and he had run past the station ...
-"all that has come to the knowledge of these poor humble ears of mine
-which would rather have been closed in death than have suffered the
-agony of them fatal news but told it shall not be to other human soul
-nor yet only to you for the respect I bear to that 'igh name of Deeboon
-which saving your honour sir ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-Humphrey de Bohun put his lean hands on his lean knees, sat up, and
-stared at this high-geared human gramophone on speed.
-</p>
-<p>
-"What on earth ..." he began. "Look here, Whaley, have you been
-drinking? ... Now, mark me, Whaley!" Humphrey de Bohun could speak with
-astonishing decision when he felt quite secure that the person spoken to
-was unable to answer back. "I've always made one absolute rule in this
-house. Any servant of mine who is found the worse for liquor&mdash;I don't
-care <i>where</i>," and he swept his feeble head down to the southwest, "I
-don't care <i>how</i>"&mdash;he swept it again&mdash;"I don't ... damn it,
-I don't even care on <i>what</i>! leaves me there and then!" He leaned
-back again, somewhat exhausted.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You wound me, sir," said George Whaley with dignity. "Ah, sir! you
-wound me! Indeed you do!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Wound your what?" said the Home Secretary, without sufficient
-consideration.
-</p>
-<p>
-"My honour, sir," said George Whaley. "And a loyal heart."
-</p>
-<p>
-This time he remembered the connection of the word "heart" with the
-appropriate gesture, and he planked his hand on his merrythought with
-the noise of a distant 9.2.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Home Secretary remembered the lessons of his youth, the high
-traditions of the de Bohuns.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I owe you an apology, Whaley," he said, in the appropriate
-faded-earnest manner. "But the truth is, I can't pretend to follow what
-you were saying. I don't suggest that you spoke too quickly.... I was in
-a reverie when you came in. The fault is mine. Proceed."
-</p>
-<p>
-And in his turn George Whaley proceeded&mdash;but the chain was broken; he
-was thrown back upon impromptu too; and a native terseness, not to say
-inhibition of speech, returned to him.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Well, sir," and he coughed, "I'm afraid it's rather a delicate matter,"
-and he looked at the nails of his fingers. "Perhaps I ought to plunge
-<i>in medias res</i>." He sighed. "I've 'eard it's usually the wiser plan
-in cases like these."
-</p>
-<p>
-He stood for some fifteen seconds, his bold head with its fringe of grey
-hair slightly on one side, and gazing at the exalted culprit with
-infinite compassion. Then did George Whaley begin to shake that head,
-and there escaped him words unusual to his daily life, but native to his
-reading of fiction and to his experience on the stage.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah me! Ah me!" he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Look here, Whaley," said his master smartly. "What's the matter? Are
-you ill? Are you mad? Have you"&mdash;in a softer voice&mdash;"have you
-perhaps suffered some sudden bereavement?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Only the bereavement of a loyal heart deceived, bewildered," moaned
-George Whaley, quoting textually from <i>The Waifs of the Whirlwind</i>. He
-linked his hands before his ample waistcoat and hung his saddened head.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure18"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure18.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>The Home Secretary's Butler taking the<br />
-liberty to observe: "Thou art<br />
-the man."</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-"Upon my word!" cried Humphrey de Bohun, moved to unexpected energy by
-an intolerable boredom, "this kind of thing's got to stop. Speak out,
-man, and don't make a fool of yourself!" He pulled out his watch. "I've
-not got all the time there is! Hurry up, now! Surely you can speak
-plainly!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"I can," said George Whaley, in tones of gloom, and moved by a mighty
-resolution. He was standing upright now; he fixed his employer with a
-steady glance, and each hand was half clenched at his side. "The
-emerald, sir!"
-</p>
-<p>
-And he waited for his effect.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Oh, damn the emerald!" shouted Humphrey de Bohun. "If you think this is
-the time, after all these two days ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"It is the time," said George Whaley firmly, with a reminiscence of the
-worthy mother who had brought him up in the Countess of Huntingdon's
-connection and under all the discipline of the Jacobean Scriptures.
-"Yea, now is the acceptable time."
-</p>
-<p>
-"By God!" shouted the now inflamed minister, "this has got to stop! I'll
-have you certified! I'll ... I'll ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-But he got the thing full in the face. In a key nearly an octave lower
-than that he had been using for the purposes of the great interview,
-George Whaley stretched out a rigid solemn arm towards his master and
-spoke the words of doom.
-</p>
-<p>
-"I know all... Thou art the man! It is you, sir, that have on you the
-lost emerald!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Let me not do Humphrey de Bohun injustice. He had never yet in his life
-taken an initiative. He had never tackled any one of the human species.
-But there is a god latent in us all, and his name is Pan.
-</p>
-<p>
-"The emerald!" he shrieked. "Blackmail, eh, you damned lousy son of a
-&mdash;&mdash;!" He sprang at the astonished servitor, seized him round
-the neck&mdash;a dangerous gambit between elderly men, for it leads to
-strokes on both sides&mdash;shook him madly from side to side, then dug
-his right hand into his collar behind, swerved him round, and gave him
-one of those enormous kicks which form epochs in the history of Britain.
-Savagely did the unrestrained elder statesman, all the repressed manhood
-of half a century bursting forth, plant his foot upon what should
-properly be called the person of his unfortunate dependant and with a
-second gesture sent him sprawling through the open door into the hall.
-</p>
-<p>
-"The emerald!" he kept on shouting, as George Whaley, groaning, pulled
-himself up miserably, like a wounded sea lion. "When the hell am I to
-hear the last of the emerald ... you and your emerald! ... all of you
-and your emeralds! ... I wish to God! ..." A blasphemy was almost on his
-lips; he had almost said that he wished the emerald had been strangled
-at birth, and by such a phrase would he have forfeited the luck of the
-Boneses.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Get out!" he continued, in a somewhat milder because exhausted tone, as
-the ill-treated Good Samaritan hobbled towards the door which led to the
-offices, rubbing the affected portions of his frame. "Out! Out! Out!
-Never let me see your face again!"
-</p>
-<p>
-And they parted to meet no more. The conclusion of their mutual
-relations was concluded by correspondence.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-It is not with impunity that men between fifty and sixty, especially if
-they have lived under constant self-repression&mdash;which doesn't apply to
-colonels&mdash;let their angry passions rise. The Home Secretary was badly
-blown. He felt groggy. His exertion was already beginning to make him a
-little stiff. He halted towards the dining-room and groped for a pint of
-champagne which he knew to stand by. He pulled the cork with his last
-strength. He took a mighty draught. He felt better. He took another.
-Then he saw the world sanely, and he saw it whole&mdash;such is the power
-of the god. There was hardly a drain left. He glanced over his shoulder,
-found himself alone, put the neck of the bottle to his lips and sucked
-it down.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ah!" said the arbiter of Wormwood Scrubbs and Lord of Pentonville.
-"That's better."
-</p>
-<p>
-He felt almost genial&mdash;normal, anyhow, at last. Even a trifle
-super-normal. With sprightlier step he regained that comfortable chair
-wherein he had been relaxing his overstrained mind when George Whaley
-had so imprudently intruded.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was not once in a blue moon that Humphrey de Bohun thought tobacco a
-boon, but the occasion called for it. For the matter of that, it was not
-once in a blue moon that he drank more than half a glass of wine at a
-sitting&mdash;let alone of a Sunday morning during church time&mdash;and
-bubbling wine in plenty leads to smoking: hence the fortunes made by
-Greeks and Egyptians in their sales of hay cigarettes to the young
-bloods. Humphrey de Bohun groped in his daughter's open box for a
-cigarette, tapped it, with a surprisingly modern gesture, on his
-thumbnail, and as he lit it sank back into the chair he had left and
-wondered whether indeed he had reached repose.
-</p>
-<p>
-Was there anyone left, he thought drowsily, who could come with yet
-another story of the blasted gem? He was already half asleep, but there
-passed before his drooping eyes what seemed a regiment: Galton had been
-sure of it&mdash;he had seen it, seen it on Bill; Bill had been sure of
-it&mdash;he had tested it, tested it on McTaggart; McTaggart had been
-sure of it&mdash;he had got it by second sight, and was absolutely
-certain of Collop; and Collop&mdash;oh well! God bless Collop! For after
-all he had <i>produced</i> it&mdash;snatched from the talons of a fowl.
-The elderly gentleman's head drooped and nodded; the cigarette fell from
-his lax fingers; it set fire to the Aubusson carpet, which smouldered in
-faint wreaths, but did no harm, and soon went out. Thus did the
-adventure of the Emerald of Catherine the Great end, as all things end,
-in smoke.
-</p>
-
-<div class="tb">* * * * * * *</div>
-
-<p>
-Far, far, in the less pretentious but roomy apartments of the East Wing,
-George Whaley, suffering untold things, sought for and found the Boy,
-the culprit, Ethelbert.
-</p>
-<p>
-They met in the passage that leads from the servants' hall to the Yard;
-but when I say met, I rather mean that their visages encountered the one
-the other at the turn of a corner separated by a space of some five
-yards.
-</p>
-<p>
-The countenance of George Whaley at that moment was not one to inspire
-confidence in the young. There was blood on his cheek-bone. His collar
-was torn, and all adrift upon the starboard side; his tie was under his
-ear; there was a gaping tear in his coat.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Ow! You young dose of poison!" bawled the injured man, as he lunged
-forward upon his prey, and with a loud cry Ethelbert fled. He fled
-through the open door into the coal yard, George Whaley limping after.
-There stood against the wall of the yard, leaning to its summit, a crazy
-old ladder. The light boy Ethelbert nipped up it, and at its foot stood
-the unhappy and ponderous victim of his misleading confidences, shaking
-an impotent fist.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure19"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure19.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Dialogue between the Boy Ethelbert and his<br />
-fallen superior.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-Security lent courage to the youth.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You look hot," he said kindly.
-</p>
-<p>
-"You come down!" hissed Whaley, clenching his teeth, "and I'll flay you
-alive&mdash;slowly&mdash;inch by inch!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Sounds good," grinned Ethelbert; with thoughtful prevision he kicked
-the ladder down. Its rotten wood smashed into a dozen pieces as it fell,
-and the youth was delighted to note that a flying fragment had caught
-his superior a fine smack on the side of the jaw.
-</p>
-<p>
-For to him that hath, more shall be added.
-</p>
-<p>
-Ethelbert feared not the future; his judgment told him, not insecurely,
-that the butler's powers were at an end.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Been havin' a scrap?" continued Ethelbert, by way of making
-conversation. "'Ow's the other man?"
-</p>
-<p>
-George Whaley's cup was full. "Come down," he groaned stupidly. "Come
-down!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Me come down?" answered his former subaltern with an air. "Why, what
-can you be thinking of? It's only just over church time yet. You can
-hear the sweet bells ringing&mdash;'ark!" and he lifted an ecstatic
-forefinger with heavenward-lifted eyes.
-</p>
-<p>
-The butler put his hand upon the old red brick wall. His adventures were
-beginning to tell upon him. He felt sick.
-</p>
-<p>
-"It's all along o' you!" he said thickly, spat, to see whether his lungs
-were injured, was pleased to find they were not; then, still suffering,
-repeated, "It's all along o' you! What," he added in a higher key of
-tragic indignation, "what the burning hell did yer mean by telling me
-the boss had pinched the emerald?"
-</p>
-<p>
-"<i>I</i> tell you the boss had pinched the emerald?" sneered Ethelbert
-from his high place. "Oh, chase me, Ananias!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, yer did!" came again from the uplifted purple face. "Yer told me
-with yer own lips that you knew yerself it was in the 'ands of the
-'ighest."
-</p>
-<p>
-"I never! You dare say I did!" cried the indignant whelp. "Liar! What I
-may have <i>thought</i> was that his lordship ..."
-</p>
-<p>
-"His lordship?" groaned the suffering man, a light breaking in upon him.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, mubbe! Don't you dare go to say as I said so. Otherwise I'll have
-the lor on yer! So mind your fat feet! I'll be treading on 'em. I never
-said nuffing. I didn't. 'Sides which, it's all one now. The emerald's
-been found."
-</p>
-<p>
-"Found?" gasped Whaley with a stare.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Yes, found," nodded Ethelbert, from his dominion of vantage loftily.
-</p>
-<p>
-"Then ..." groaned his unfortunate elder, "I'm done!"
-</p>
-<p>
-"That's true, anyways! Congrats!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Whaley had already picked up half a brick, but his tormenter had seen
-the gesture, and had dropped on the far side of the wall to the high
-bank below, and was off to rejoin his quarters. He knew that the mighty
-had fallen and would trouble him no more.
-</p>
-<p>
-So ends the saga.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4><a id="TALE_PIECE">TALE-PIECE</a></h4>
-
-<div>
- <img class="drop-cap" src="images/dropcap-i.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="drop-cap nind">
-It was the custom of our grandfathers and grandmothers&mdash;when they had
-any of them been fool enough to write a novel&mdash;to wind it up with a
-description of what the various characters in the beastly thing were
-doing at the moment when the book appeared&mdash;that is, supposedly, in a
-future some little while after the closing of the tale.
-</p>
-<p>
-Those of you who still read the novels of my own youth&mdash;and I for one
-read no others&mdash;will remember that they are invariably concerned with
-a well-to-do young woman of exquisite beauty who marries a manly young
-fellow of her own status, after various ups and downs. Then the book
-goes on to tell you that they have twenty-six boys and girls with long
-curly hair, all gold. And then the band plays.
-</p>
-<p>
-It is not easy for me to give you an appendix of this kind, because I
-have always thought it prudent to throw my own novels into the future,
-lest I should be sent to gaol for insulting the rich. Moreover, even if
-I did describe the final fate of my characters, I cannot make it a very
-pleasant one without treason to the realities of human life and the
-flattering of fools: and rather than flatter fools let me be torn to
-pieces by wild horses after the fashion of the Merovingian queens.
-</p>
-<p>
-However, I propose to give you some idea of how the various people you
-have come across in these pages continued their not too significant
-lives.
-</p>
-<p>
-When Marjorie had divorced Galton&mdash;having got married to him by way
-of preliminary&mdash;she was herself divorced by Pemberton&mdash;who had
-no further use for Lady Meinz&mdash;and then married&mdash;only last
-year&mdash;an extraordinarily fleshy man called (at the moment) Henry
-Munster. They are still happy&mdash;at least, she is. The child of the
-first union&mdash;if I may so describe it&mdash;is a girl; so that's the
-end of the Galton peerage.
-</p>
-<p>
-Aunt Amelia is dead: and high time.
-</p>
-<p>
-Her brother, the former Home Secretary, has in the interval developed
-astonishing talents which have fitted him for the Colonial Office, the
-India Office, and the Treasury, in rapid succession&mdash;and would
-doubtless have fitted him for the Foreign Office but for the determined
-opposition of the permanent officials. During the four years in which it
-had been arranged to let the other batch of professional politicians
-have a suck at the salaries, he acted as President (at £2,500) of the
-Commission for the Second Reduction of Wages, wrote a book of
-reminiscences (£3,000 Gubbins &amp; Gubbins 42<i>s.</i>). He was badly
-stoned during the progress of the fifth General Strike&mdash;some call
-it the seventh, but I follow the usual numeration. He had been taken by
-the mob for Henry Gaston, a man nearly forty years younger and twenty
-times as able&mdash;which only shows how important it is to educate the
-poor, and also, by the way, how important it is not to print in the
-papers pictures of people taken hundreds of years before the date of
-their appearance.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure20"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure20.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Last portrait of Professor de Bohun, a sketch<br />
-reproduced in the "Figures Modernes"<br />
-of Berne (Switzerland).</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-William de Bohun is still Professor of Crystallography in the
-University, where he has still further attained a European reputation.
-He is now mentioned not only in Swiss papers, but occasionally in German
-ones. He is not more than seventy-nine, and there is every chance of his
-retaining the position for a few more years. He has not made it up with
-the reader in Crystallogy, Mr. Bertran Leader.
-</p>
-<p>
-I am sorry to say that these two distinguished men actually had a fight
-in the main street of their academic town, their weapons being
-umbrellas. Nor would the victory of the younger champion, Mr. B. Leader,
-have been for a moment doubtful had it not been that the umbrella of the
-elder, Professor de Bohun, was suddenly blown open by a gust of wind,
-affording him a sure and certain shield against the frenzied blows of
-his opponent.
-</p>
-<p>
-McTaggart has gone under for good. It seems shameful, considering the
-excellent position on the British Intelligence into which he had been
-put on a weekly contract at fifteen pounds by the influence of the Home
-Secretary, who thought some reparation due to him, and still more by the
-influence of Victoria Mosel, who had squeezed Lord Bernstein's hand. On
-the other hand it hurts nobody but himself. He is still unmarried.
-</p>
-<p>
-George Whaley, with his accumulated savings, purchased immediately upon
-his leaving the service of Humphrey de Bohun, the good will of the Bohun
-Arms, which I need hardly tell you does not belong to the family, but to
-a limited company. The pub stands at the gate of the park. Therein he
-regales the countryside with comic stories of his former employers; the
-rich middle-class motorists with scandal of the Great; the upper classes
-who deign to halt there on their way north in their superb cars with
-obsequience and silence, at a profit of about 30<i>s.</i> the bunch. He has
-done very well indeed, because it is a convenient lunching place for
-people motoring out from London to the north. His son is in this year's
-Oxford eight, but his daughter, I very much regret to say, has
-published, a book of verse&mdash;in Chelsea!
-</p>
-<p>
-Ethelbert, a bright lad of nineteen, ordered by his master into the
-special constabulary during the third General Strike&mdash;I use the
-conventional numeration&mdash;was so unfortunate as to crack smartly
-upon the head a high dignitary of the Church of England, and was
-thereupon put in prison at the instance of Lady Sophia&mdash;the eminent
-cleric's wife&mdash;who would take no denial. Upon release, the General
-Strike being still in progress&mdash;it was the first of the really
-<i>long</i> General Strikes, as you will remember, he joined the regular
-police force, which is ever ready to welcome men of varied experience
-and initiative. But he never developed the intelligence required for the
-<i>agent provocateur</i>, in which capacity such members of the service
-as have had personal experience of the cells are commonly employed. He
-is now past thirty and doing clerical work in the Lost Property
-Department.
-</p>
-<p>
-What else remains? The horse, Attaboy, is dead, worn out in faithful
-labours at the stud. He was the sire of Get-On out of Get-Out. Get-Out,
-I need hardly tell you, was the sire of Success by Morning Star. Success
-was the sire of Repetition by Raseuse; and that is how Tabouche won the
-Oaks. I always did say the little filly would do well, for I have
-followed the strain&mdash;as, long ago, the form&mdash;of Attaboy, who now
-sleeps with his fathers&mdash;I means, sires, let alone dams.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
-<a id="figure21"></a>
-<br />
-<img src="images/figure21.jpg" width="300" alt="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p><i>Controversy conducted with umbrellas between a<br />
-Professor (of Crystallography) and a Reader<br />
-(in Crystallogy) to the University.</i></p>
-</div></div>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<p>
-As for the parrot, whom I may call the second Attaboy, he is still the
-cherished, the beloved, of that constant heart, Marjorie; Mrs. Munster,
-<i>née</i> de Bohun, sometime Lady Galton, as also Mrs. Pemberton&mdash;yes,
-Pemberton. So far as I can remember, she is nothing else&mdash;so far. Such
-a charming woman! Touching upon the lovely confines of middle age with
-large bulges under rather weary eyes. But her father provides
-handsomely.
-</p>
-<p>
-As for that father, the head of the family, Humphrey de
-Bohun&mdash;pronounced Deboon&mdash;he looks no older. It would be odd
-if he could. He feels no older&mdash;that would be impossible. But he is
-inclined to colds in the head. He now tells the same story over and over
-again, the story of the Emerald. And it always ends, "Now guess who it
-was?" They do not murder him, they give it up; and he dodders out, "Why!
-It was a jackdaw!"
-</p>
-<p>
-Victoria Mosel has, since the date of the great discovery of the
-Emerald, spent week-ends at Basingthorpe, Prawley, Hammerton, Gainger,
-Bifford, then again at Hammerton, then again at Gainger, after that at
-Little Wackham. Then at Bifford again, then at Gainger, and, of course,
-at Prawley. She also stayed at the Breitzes' place in Silesia for three
-months, where she shot the bailiff's dog&mdash;by accident. May I tell you
-that she has spent six weeks in every year on the Riviera? Can I deny
-that, at this very moment of writing, she is stopping at Hammerton,
-having passed the last week-end at Gainger and purposing to go on to
-Bifford?
-</p>
-<p>
-The years leave no mark upon her temporal frame, for the skin was ever
-tight upon her bones. But she knows that she is getting on&mdash;and not in
-the City sense of that term either. She already envisages the tomb. I am
-fond of her. I think she will save her soul.
-</p>
-<p>
-One great asset which endears her to the rich of her circle. Sir William
-Collop is always ready and even eager to come at her bidding to any
-country house, and there she puts him through his paces, to the enormous
-joy of the assembled hosts and guests. But she is a good girl&mdash;I use
-the word of a woman now nearing sixty&mdash;and she does him no harm. Only,
-she <i>does</i> make him dance. And why <i>not</i>?
-</p>
-<p>
-After dinner, in the palaces of the rich, Sir William Collop is
-compelled to tell quaint stories of the other rich over whom his
-position in Scotland Yard gives him insight. Nor is he unwilling. They
-all call him a good fellow, by which they mean that his accent is as
-thick as cheese. He will be Collop till he dies. His original name is
-drowned ten fathoms deep; he is just coming into his pension, and he is
-an O. B. E. of the third crop.
-</p>
-<p>
-And the emerald? Ah, my friends! My brothers! I will tell you what
-happened to the emerald!
-</p>
-<p>
-When Mrs. Pemberton, formerly Lady Galton, then Mrs. Munster<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> <i>née</i>
-de Bohun, was making the straddle between the Pemberton and the Munster
-connections&mdash;what we call joining the slats&mdash;she needed five
-hundred pounds. It sounds ridiculous. But she did. One often does. She had
-outrun the constable. She did not want to bother her father, and for the
-very good reason that he had just got damnably knocked in the Hungarian
-Phosphates on the erroneous advice of that silly man Mowlem. Well, she
-had taken the emerald to the man who, Vic had told her, was the best expert
-in London&mdash;Mr. Marlovitch, Junior&mdash;and (behold!) he had proved to
-her by infallible tests that it was <i>paste</i>. What is more, he had
-given her proof out of learned books that no emerald of such size ever had
-existed, or could exist.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Bohuns had patriotism in their blood. Marjorie gave the famous
-trinket to the State&mdash;let me say to England!&mdash;under very easy
-conditions which earned her, I am glad to say, the entry of her daughter
-into Parliament. These conditions were modest: the emerald was to be
-permanently exhibited, in a very large case all by itself, in the
-British Museum, with a tablet engraved at the expense of England&mdash;I
-mean the State&mdash;describing it as the largest Emerald in the
-world&mdash;which it would have been if it had been an emerald&mdash;and
-assuring the honest public that it had been given by Catherine the Great
-to that member of the ancient family of de Bohuns who had served the
-interests of the State&mdash;or rather, let me say, of England&mdash;at
-the Court of All the Russias, in those days when the Semiramis of the
-North was the admiration of Europe.
-</p>
-<p>
-"What!" you'll exclaim (it's just like you!), "would that regal woman,
-that generous if somewhat demanding lady, that broad German strong in
-her nobility, that Monarch of the Snows, Empress of all the Russias,
-have fallen to deceiving handsome Bill Bones with a piece of paste?"
-</p>
-<p>
-Not a bit of it. You little understood the nature of those who serve
-power. She had given her emerald&mdash;and an emerald it was&mdash;to a man
-in whom she had the fullest confidence; she had given it him with the order
-to bestow it at once upon the English captain. But her messenger had
-preferred his own interest and had substituted that larger and false one
-round which all this dance has been led.
-</p>
-<p>
-And, as the Prime Minister said of his colleague on the front bench who
-got into trouble over the insurance shares, who shall blame him?
-</p>
-<p>
-Not I.
-</p>
-
-<p><br /></p>
-
-<div class="footnote">
-
-<p class="nind"><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a>Oh! Yes! I know all about it. She would have gone on
-calling herself Lady Galton from husband (save the mark!) to husband.
-No, child! It's already getting doubtful. In the future time of which I
-write it was unknown.</p></div>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
-<h4>THE END</h4>
-
-<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
-
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