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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #68654 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/68654)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of Canada in war-paint, by Ralph W. Bell
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: Canada in war-paint
-
-Author: Ralph W. Bell
-
-Release Date: July 30, 2022 [eBook #68654]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: David E. Brown and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team
- at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
- generously made available by The Internet Archive)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CANADA IN WAR-PAINT ***
-
-
-
-
-
-CANADA IN WAR-PAINT
-
-
-_All rights reserved_
-
-
-
-
-[Illustration: MULES
- (see page 26) _From a drawing by Bert Thomas._]
-
-
-
-
- CANADA
- IN WAR-PAINT
-
- BY CAPT.
- RALPH W. BELL
-
- [Illustration]
-
-
- LONDON AND TORONTO
- J. M. DENT & SONS LTD.
- PARIS: J. M. DENT ET FILS
- NEW YORK: E. P. DUTTON & CO.
-
-
- _First Published in 1917_
-
-
-
-
-PREFACE
-
-
-There is no attempt made in the little sketches which this book
-contains to deal historically with events of the war. It is but a small
-_Souvenir de la guerre_--a series of vignettes of things as they struck
-me at the time, and later. I have written of types, not of individuals,
-and less of action than of rest. The horror of war at its worst is fit
-subject for a master hand alone.
-
-I have to thank the proprietors of _The Globe_ for their courtesy in
-allowing the reproduction of “Canvas and Mud” and “Tent Music,” and of
-the _Canadian Magazine_ for the reproduction of “Martha of Dranvoorde.”
-
-Finally, I feel that I can have no greater honour than humbly to
-dedicate this book to the officers, N.C.O.’s and men of the First
-Canadian Infantry Battalion, Ontario Regiment, with whom I have spent
-some of the happiest, as well as some of the hardest, days of my life.
-
- RALPH W. BELL.
-
- _December 11th, 1916._
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS
-
- PAGE
-
- CANVAS AND MUD! 9
-
- TENT MUSIC 15
-
- RATTLE-SNAKE PETE 21
-
- MULES 26
-
- “OFFICE” 31
-
- OUR FARM 37
-
- AEROPLANES AND “ARCHIE” 41
-
- STIRRING TIMES 47
-
- SICK PARADE 53
-
- BATMEN 60
-
- RATIONS 67
-
- OUR SCOUT OFFICER 73
-
- MARTHA OF DRANVOORDE 78
-
- COURCELETTE 89
-
- CARNAGE 101
-
- “A” COMPANY RUSTLES 106
-
- “MINNIE AND ‘FAMILY’” 113
-
- AN OFFICER AND GENTLEMAN 118
-
- “S.R.D.” 123
-
- BEDS 128
-
- MARCHING 134
-
- THE NATIVES 140
-
- “OTHER INHABITANTS” 147
-
- BOMBS 153
-
- SOFT JOBS 158
-
- “GROUSE” 163
-
- PANSIES 169
-
- GOING BACK 174
-
- THREE RED ROSES 181
-
- ADJUTANTS 187
-
- HOME 193
-
- ACTION 198
-
-
-
-
-CANADA IN WAR-PAINT
-
-
-
-
-CANVAS AND MUD!
-
-
-To those men who, in days of peace, have trained on the swelling,
-lightly-wooded plains round about Salisbury, no doubt this portion
-of Old England may seem a very pleasant land. But they have not been
-there in November under canvas. When the old soldiers of the Canadian
-contingent heard that we were to go to “the Plains,” some of them said,
-“S’elp me!” and some a great deal more! It was an ideal day when we
-arrived. The trees were russet brown and beautiful under the October
-sun, the grass still green, and the winding road through picturesque
-little Amesbury white and hard, conveying no hint of that mud for which
-we have come to feel a positive awe.
-
-At first we all liked our camp; it was high and dry, the tents had
-floor-boards, that traitorous grass was green and firm withal, and
-a balmy breeze, follower of the Indian summer, blew pleasantly over
-the wide-rolling land. We liked it after the somewhat arid climate of
-Valcartier, the sand and dust. Then it began to rain. It rained one
-day, two days, three days. During that time the camp named after the
-fabulous bird became a very quagmire. The sullen black mud was three
-inches deep between the tent lines, on the parade ground, on the road,
-where it was pounded and ridged and rolling-pinned by transports,
-troops, and general traffic; it introduced itself into the tents in
-slimy blodges, ruined the flawless shine of every “New Guard’s” boots,
-spattered men from head to foot stickily and persistently. The mud
-entered into our minds, our thoughts were turbid. Some enterprising
-passer-by called us mud-larks, and mud-larks we have remained.
-
-Canadians think Salisbury Plains a hideous spot. Those who have been
-there before know better, but it were suicide to say so, for we have
-reached the rubber-boot stage. When the rain “lets up” we go forth with
-picks and spades and clean the highways and byways. Canadians do it
-with a settled gloom. If the Kaiser tries to land forces in England
-they hope he will come to Salisbury with his hordes. There they will
-stick fast. In the fine intervals we train squelchily and yearn for
-the trenches. What matters the mire when one is at the front, but to
-slide gracefully into a pool of turgid water, in heavy marching order,
-for practice only, is hardly good enough. Most Canadians think the
-concentration camp might preferably have been at the North Pole, if
-Amundsen would lend it, and we could occupy it without committing a
-breach of neutrality.
-
-That brings us to the cold weather, of which we have had a foretaste.
-It was freezing a few days ago. The ground, the wash-taps, and we
-ourselves, all were frozen. A cheerful Wiltshireman passed along
-the highway. There was a bitter damp north wind; despite the frost
-everything seemed to be clammy. “Nice weather for you Canadians,”
-he shouted happily. Luckily we had no bayonets. It is quite natural
-that in this country it should be thought that Canadians love cold
-weather and welcome it. But there is cold and cold. The Salisbury
-Plains type is of the “and cold” variety! It steals in through the
-tent flaps with a “chilth” that damply clings. It rusts rifles, blues
-noses, hoarsens the voice, wheezes into the lungs. It catches on to
-the woollen filaments of blankets and runs into them, it seeks out
-the hidden gaps in canvas walls and steals within, it crawls beneath
-four blankets--when one has been able to steal an extra one--through
-overcoats, sweaters, up the legs of trousers, into under-garments,
-and at last finds gelid rest against the quivering flesh, eating its
-way into the marrow-bones. Like the enemy, it advances in massed
-formation, and though stoves may dissipate platoon after platoon it
-never ceases to send up reinforcements until a whining gale has seized
-on the tent-ropes, squeaks at the poles, draws in vain at the pegs,
-tears open loose flaps, and veering round brings back sodden rain and
-the perpetual, the everlasting mud. We know the hard, cold bite of “20
-below,” the crisp snow, the echoing land, the crackling of splitting
-trees, even frost-bite. But it is a dry cold, and it comes: “Whish!”
-This cold of England’s creeps into the very heart. It takes mean
-advantages. “Give me the Yukon any old time,” says the hard-bitten
-shivering stalwart of the north-west. “This, this, it ain’t kinder
-playin’ the game.”
-
-It must not be thought that Canadians are complaining, for they are
-not. But England’s climate is to them something unknown and unspeakably
-vile! One must have been brought up in it to appreciate and to
-anticipate its vagaries. Canadians feel they have been misled. They
-expected English cold weather to be a “cinch.” But it’s the weather
-puts the “cinch” on, not they! There will come a time when we shall be
-in huts, and the leaky old canvas tents that are now our habitat will
-have been folded and--we hope for the benefit of others--stolen away!
-Those tents have seen so much service that they know just as well how
-to leak as an old charger how to drill. They become animated--even
-gay--when the wind-beaten rain darkens their grimy flanks, and with
-fiendish ingenuity they drip, drip, drip down the nape of the neck,
-well into the eye, even plumb down the throat of the open-mouthed,
-snoring son of the maple-land.
-
-No matter, we shall be old campaigners when the winter is over; old
-mud-larkers, as impervious to wet earth as a worm. Even the mud is good
-training for the time we shall have in the trenches!
-
-
-
-
-TENT MUSIC
-
-
-It is not often that Thomas Atkins of any nationality wears his heart
-upon his sleeve, and it is quite certain that the British Tommy but
-rarely does so, or his confrere of the Canadian Contingent. Perhaps he
-best shows his thoughts and relieves his feelings in song.
-
-Salisbury Plains must have seen and heard many things, yet few
-stranger sounds can have been heard there than the chants which rise
-from dimly-lighted canvas walls, when night has shrouded the earth,
-and the stars gleam palely through the mist. It is the habit of the
-Canadian Mr. Atkins, ere he prepares himself for rest, to set his
-throat a-throbbing to many a tune both new and old. The result is
-not invariably musical--sometimes far from it, but it is a species
-of sound the male creature produces either to show his “gladness or
-his sadness,” and by means of which he relieves a heavy heart, or
-indicates that in his humble opinion “all’s well with the world.” On
-every side, from almost every tent, there is harmony, melody, trio,
-quartette, chorus, or--noise! It is a strange mixture of thoughts
-and things, a peculiar vocal photograph of the men of the Maple, now
-admirable, now discordant, here ribald, there rather tinged with the
-pathetic.
-
-No programme-maker in his wildest moments, in the throes of the most
-conflicting emotions, could begin to evolve such a varied, such a
-startling programme as may be heard in the space of a short half-hour
-under canvas--in a rain-sodden, comfortless tent--anywhere on Salisbury
-Plains. It does not matter who begins it; some one is “feeling good,”
-and he lifts up his voice to declaim that “You made me love you; I
-didn’t want to do it!” The rest join in, here a tenor, there a bass or
-a baritone, and the impromptu concert has begun.
-
-Never have the writers of songs, the composers of music, grave and
-gay, come more into their own than among the incorrigibly cheerful
-warriors of the Plains. The relative merits of composers are not
-discussed. They are all good enough for Jock Canuck as long as there is
-that nameless something in the song or the music which appeals to him.
-It is curious that we who hope to slay, and expect to be slain--many
-of us--should sing with preference of Killarney’s lakes and fells,
-“Sunnybrook Farm,” “Silver Threads Among the Gold,” rather than some
-War Chant or Patriotic Ode, something visionary of battle-fields, guns,
-the crash of shells. Is not this alone sufficient to show that beneath
-his tunic, and in spite of his martial spirit, Tommy “has a heart,” and
-a very warm one?
-
-Picture to yourself a tent with grimy, sodden sides, lighted by three
-or four guttering candle-ends, stuck wherever space or ingenuity
-permits. An atmosphere tobacco laden, but not stuffy, rifles piled
-round the tent-pole, haversacks, “dunnage” bags, blankets, and
-oil-sheets spread about, and their owners, some of them lying on the
-floor wrapped in blankets, some seated, one or two perhaps reading
-or writing in cramped positions, yet quite content. Yonder is a
-lusty Yorkshireman, big, blue-eyed, and fair, who for some reason
-best known to himself _will_ call himself an Irishman. We know him
-as “the man with three voices,” for he has a rich, tuneful, though
-uncultivated tenor, a wonderful falsetto, and a good alto. His tricks
-are remarkable, but his ear is fine. He loves to lie sprawled on his
-great back, and lift up his voice to the skies. All the words of half
-the old and new songs of two peoples, British and American, he has
-committed to memory. He is our “leading man,” a shining light in the
-concert firmament. We have heard and helped him to sing in the course
-of one crowded period of thirty minutes the following varied programme:
-“Tipperary,” “Silver Threads Among the Gold,” “My Old Kentucky Home,”
-“Fight the Good Fight,” “A Wee Deoch an’ Doris,” “When the Midnight
-Choochoo Leaves for Alabam,” “The Maple Leaf,” “Cock Robin,” “Get Out
-and Get Under,” “Where is My Wandering Boy To-Night,” “Nearer, My God,
-to Thee,” and “I Stand in a Land of Roses, though I Dream of a Land of
-Snow.” But there is one song we never sing, “Home, Sweet Home.” Home is
-too sacred a subject with us; it touches the deeper, aye, the deepest,
-chords, and we dare not risk it, exiles that we are.
-
-Very often there are strange paradoxes in the words we sing, when
-compared with reality.... “I stand in a land of roses!” Well, not
-exactly, although Salisbury Plains in the summer time are, like the
-curate’s egg, “good in parts.” But the following line is true enough
-of many of us. We do “dream of a land of snow”; of the land, and those
-far, far away in it. Sometimes we sing “rag-time melodee,” but that is
-only _pour passer le temps_. There is something which prompts us to
-other songs, and to sacred music. It often happens that in our tent
-there are three or four men with voices above the average who take a
-real delight in singing. One of the most beautiful things of the kind
-the writer has ever heard was a quartette’s singing of “Nearer, My God,
-to Thee.” Fine, well-trained voices they possessed, blending truly and
-harmoniously, which rang out almost triumphal in the frosty night.
-They sang it once, and then again, and as the last notes died away the
-bugles sounded the “Last Post.”
-
-Taa-Taa, Taa-Taa, Ta-ta-ti-ti-ti-ti-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.
-Ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ta-ta-ta-ta-taa, Taa-Taa, Taa-Taa, Taaa, Tiii!
-
-Verily, even under canvas music _hath_ charms to soothe the savage
-breast.
-
-
-
-
-RATTLE-SNAKE PETE
-
-
-Very tall, thin, and cadaverous, with a strong aquiline nose, deep-set,
-piercing black eyes, bushy eyebrows matching them in colour, and a
-heavy, fiercely waxed moustache, streaked with grey, he was a man who
-commanded respect, if not fear.
-
-In spite of his sixty years he was as straight as the proverbial poker,
-and as “nippy on his pins” as a boy a third of his age. Two ribbons
-rested on his left breast--the long service ribbon and that of the
-North-West Rebellion. His voice was not harsh, nor was it melodious,
-but it could be heard a mile off and struck pure terror into the heart
-of the evil-doer when he heard it! Rattle-Snake Pete was, as a matter
-of fact, our Company Sergeant-Major.
-
-Withering was the scorn with which he surveyed a delinquent “rooky,”
-while his eyes shot flame, and in the terrified imagination of
-the unfortunate being on whom that fierce gaze was bent his ears
-seemed to curve upwards into horns, until he recalled the popular
-conception of Mephistopheles! We called him--when he was safely beyond
-hearing--Rattle-Snake Pete, but that worthy bravo was far less feared
-than was his namesake.
-
-First of all, the Sergeant-Major was a real soldier, from the nails in
-his boots to the crown of his hat. Secondly, he was a man of strong
-prejudices, and keen dislikes, and, lastly, a very human, unselfish,
-kind-hearted man.
-
-Discipline was his God, smartness on parade and off the greatest virtue
-in man, with the exception of pluck. He ruled with a rod of iron,
-tempered by justice, and his keenness was a thing to marvel at. At
-first we all hated him with a pure-souled hate. Then, as he licked us
-into shape, and the seeds of soldiering were sown, we began to realise
-that he was right, and that we were wrong--and that, after all, the
-only safe thing to do was to obey!
-
-One day a man was slow in doing what his corporal told him to do. As
-was his habit, the S.-M. came on the scene suddenly, a lean tower of
-steely wrath. After he had poured out the vials of his displeasure on
-the head of the erring one, he added: “I’ll make you a soldier, lad, or
-I’ll break your heart!” He meant it; he could do it; we knew he could,
-and it resulted in our company being the best in the regiment.
-
-Shortly before we moved to France, a personage and his consort
-inspected us. He shook hands with Rattle-Snake, and spoke to him for
-several moments.
-
-“How old are you?”
-
-“Forty-five, Your Majesty.”
-
-“Military age, I suppose?” queried the Personage with a kindly smile.
-
-“Yes, sir.”
-
-Never in his life was Rattle so happy as he was that day, and we felt
-rather proud of him ourselves.
-
-_Our_ Sergeant-Major had shaken hands with the King!
-
-Those who had stood near enough to hear what had passed achieved a
-temporary fame thereby, and in tent and canteen the story was told,
-with variations suited to the imagination of the raconteur, for days
-after the event.
-
-When we moved to France Rattle-Snake Pete came with us. I think the
-doctor saw it would have broken his heart not to come, although at his
-age he certainly should not have done so. But come he did, and never
-will the writer forget the day Rattle pursued him into an old loft, up
-a broken, almost perpendicular ladder, to inquire in a voice of thunder
-why a certain fatigue party was minus a man.
-
-“Come you down out of there, lad, or you’ll be for it!” And, meekly as
-a sucking-dove, I came!
-
-He was wounded at the second battle of Ypres, and, according to all
-accounts, what he said about the Germans as he lay on that battle-field
-petrified the wounded around him, and was audible above the roar of
-bursting Jack Johnsons.
-
-They sent him to hospital in “Blighty,” an unwilling patient, and there
-he has been eating out his heart ever since, in the face of adamantine
-medical boards.
-
-One little incident. We were billeted in an old theatre, years ago it
-seems now, at Armentières. We had marched many kilometres in soaking
-rain that afternoon, and we were deadly weary. Rattle, though he said
-no word, was ill, suffering agonies from rheumatism. One could see it.
-Being on guard, I was able to see more than the rest, who, for the most
-part, slept the sleep of the tired out. One fellow was quite ill, and
-he tossed and turned a good deal in his sleep. Rattle was awake too,
-sitting in front of the dying embers in the stove, his face every now
-and then contorted with pain. Often he would go over to the sick man
-and arrange his bed for him as gently as a woman. Then he himself lay
-down. The sick man awoke, and I heard his teeth chatter. “Cold, lad?”
-said a deep voice near by. “Yes, bitter cold.” The old S.-M. got up,
-took his own blanket and put it over the sick man. Thereafter he sat
-until the dawn broke on a rickety chair in front of the dead fire.
-
-
-
-
-MULES
-
-
-Until there was a war, quite a lot of people hardly knew there were
-such things as mules. “Mules?” they would say, “Oh, er, yes ... those
-creatures with donkey’s ears, made like a horse? or do you mean
-canaries?”
-
-_Nous avons changé tout cela!_ “Gonga Din” holds no hidden meaning
-from us now. We have, indeed, a respect for mules, graded according to
-closeness of contact.
-
-In some Transports they think more of a mule than of a first-class,
-No. 1 charger. Why? Simply because a mule is--a mule. No one has yet
-written a theory of the evolution of mules. We all know a mule is a
-blend of horse and donkey, and that reproduction of the species is
-mercifully withheld by the grace of heaven, but further than that we do
-not go.
-
-When the war began our C.O. was talking about mules. We had not crossed
-the water then. He said: “I will _not_ have any mules. No civilised
-man should have to look after a mule. When I was in Pindi once, a mule
-... Mr. Jenks”--our worthy Transport Officer--“there will be no mules
-in this regiment.” That settled it for a while.
-
-Our first mule came a month after we had landed in Flanders. It was
-a large, lean, hungry-looking mule. It stood about 17 feet 2 inches,
-and it had very large floppy ears and a long tail: it was rather a
-high-class mule, as mules go. It ate an awful lot. In fact it ate about
-as much as two horses and a donkey put together. The first time it was
-used some one put it in the Maltese cart, and it looked round at the
-cart with an air of surprise and regret. We were on the move, and the
-Transport was brigaded, and inspected by the Brigadier as it passed the
-starting point. James--the mule--behaved in a most exemplary fashion
-until he saw the Brigadier. Then he was overcome by his emotions.
-Perhaps the red tabs reminded him of carrots. (James was a pure hog
-where carrots were concerned.) At all events he proceeded to break up
-the march. He took the bit between his teeth, wheeled to the left,
-rolled his eyes, brayed, and charged across an open ditch at the G.O.C.
-with the Maltese cart.
-
-The G.O.C. and staff extended to indefinite intervals without any word
-of command.
-
-James pulled up in a turnip patch and began to eat contentedly. It took
-six men and the Transport Officer to get him on to the road again, and
-the Maltese cart was a wreck.
-
-After that they tried him as a pack-mule. He behaved like an angel for
-two whole weeks, and then some bright-eyed boy tried him as a saddle
-mule. After that the whole of the Transport tried him, retiring worsted
-from the fray on each occasion. One day the Transport Officer bet
-all-comers fifty francs on the mule. The conditions were that riders
-must stick on for five minutes. We used to think we could ride any
-horse ever foaled. We used to fancy ourselves quite a lot in fact,
-until we met James. Half the battalion came to see the show, which took
-place one sunny morning at the Transport lines. We looked James over
-with an appraising eye. We even gave him a carrot, as an earnest of
-goodwill. James wore a placid, far-away expression and, now and then,
-rolled his eyes sentimentally.
-
-We gathered up the reins, and vaulted on to his back. For a full two
-seconds James stood stock still. Then he emitted an ear-splitting
-squeal, laid back his ears, bared his teeth, turned round and bit at
-the near foot, and sat down on his hind legs. He did all these things
-in quick time, by numbers. The betting, which had started at 2-1 on
-James, increased to 3-1 immediately. However, we stuck. James rose
-with a mighty heave, then, still squealing, made a rush of perhaps ten
-yards, and stopped dead. We still stuck. The betting fell to evens,
-except for the Transport Sergeant, who in loud tones offered 5-1 (on
-James). That kept him busy for two minutes, during which time James did
-almost everything but roll, and bit a toe off one of my new pair of
-riding boots.
-
-There was one minute to go, and there was great excitement. James gave
-one squeal of concentrated wrath, gathered his four hoofs together
-tightly, bucked four feet in the air, kicked in mid-ether, and tried to
-bite his own tail. When we next saw him he was being led gently away.
-
-Since then we have had many mules. We have become used to them, and we
-respect them. If we hear riot in the Transport lines we know it is a
-mule. If we hear some one has been kicked, we know it is a mule. If we
-see one of the G.S. wagons carrying about two tons we know mules are
-drawing it. Old James now pulls the water-cart. He would draw it up to
-the mouth of the biggest Fritz cannon that ever was, but Frank Wootton
-could not ride him!
-
-
-
-
-“OFFICE”
-
-
-“Charge against No. 7762543, Private Smith, J.C.; In the field,
-11.11.16, refusing to obey an order, in that he would not wash out a
-dixie when ordered to do so. First witness, Sergeant Bendrick.”
-
-“Sirr! On Nov. 11th I was horderly sergeant. Private Thomas, cook,
-comes to me, and he says as ’ow ’e ’ad warned the pris-- the haccused,
-sir, to wash out a dixie, which same the haccused refused to do.
-Hordered by me to wash hout the dixie, sir, the haccused refused again,
-and I places ’im under hopen arrest, sir.”
-
-“Cpl. Townsham, what have you to say?”
-
-“Sirr! On Nov. 11th I was eatin’ a piece of bread an’ bacon when I was
-witness to what took place between Sergeant Bendrick an’ Private Smith,
-sir. I corroborates his evidence.”
-
-“All right; Private Thomas?”
-
-“Sirr! I coboriates both of them witnesses.”
-
-“You corroborate what both witnesses have said?”
-
-“Yessir.”
-
-“Now, Smith, what have you got to say? Stand to attention!”
-
-“I ain’t got _nothin’_ to say, sir, savin’ that I never joined the army
-to wash dixies, an’ I didn’t like the tone of voice him”--indicating
-the orderly Sergeant--“used to me. Also I’m a little deaf, sir, an’
-my ’ands is that cut with barbed wire that it’s hagony to put ’em in
-boilin’ water, sir! An’ I’m afraid o’ gettin’ these ’ere germs into
-them, sir. Apart from which I ain’t got anything to say, sir!”
-
-After this Private Smith assumes the injured air of a martyr, casts his
-eyes up to heaven, and waits hopefully for dismissal. (The other two
-similar cases were dismissed this morning!)
-
-The Captain drums his fingers on the table for a few moments. “This is
-your first offence, Smith.”
-
-“Yessir!”
-
-“But it is not made any the less serious by that fact.”
-
-The gleam of joy in Smith’s eye departs.
-
-“Disobedience of an order is no trivial matter. A case like this should
-go before the Commanding Officer.”
-
-Long pause, during which the accused passes from the stage of hope
-deferred to gloom and disillusion, and the orderly Sergeant assumes a
-fiercely triumphant expression.
-
-“Twenty-eight days Field Punishment number one,” murmurs the Captain
-ruminatively, “or a court-martial”--this just loud enough for the
-accused to hear. The latter’s left leg sags a trifle, and consternation
-o’erspreads his visage.
-
-“In view, Smith,” says the Captain aloud, “in view of your previous
-good record, I will deal with you myself. Four days dixie washing, and
-you will attend all parades!”
-
-Before Private Smith has time to heave a sigh of relief the C.S.M.’s
-voice breaks on the air, “Left turrn! Left wheel, quick marrch!”
-
-“A good man, Sergeant-Major,” says the Captain with a smile. “Have to
-scare ’em a bit at times, what?”
-
-Battalion Orderly Room is generally a very imposing affair, calculated
-to put fear into the hearts of all save the most hardened criminals.
-At times the array is formidable, as many as thirty--witnesses, escort,
-and prisoners--being lined up outside the orderly room door under the
-vigilant eye of the Regimental Sergeant-Major. It is easy to see which
-is which, even were not the “dress” different. The prisoners are in
-clean fatigue, wearing no accoutrements or equipment beyond the eternal
-smoke-helmet. The escort are in light marching order, and grasp in
-their left hands a naked bayonet, point upwards, resting along the
-forearm. The witnesses wear their belts. Most of the accused have a
-hang-dog look, some an air of defiance.
-
-“Escort and prisoners.... Shun!”
-
-The Colonel passes into orderly room, where the Adjutant, the Battalion
-Orderly Officer, and Officer witnesses in the cases to be disposed of
-await him, all coming rigidly to attention as he enters. In orderly
-room, or “office” as the men usually call it, the Colonel commands the
-deference paid to a high court judge. He is not merely a C.O., he is an
-Institution.
-
-The R.S.M. hovers in the background, waiting for orders to call the
-accused and witnesses in the first case. The C.O. fusses with the
-papers on his desk, hums and haws, and finally decides which case he
-will take first. The Adjutant stands near him, a sheaf of papers in his
-hand, like a learnéd crown counsel.
-
-Not infrequently the trend of a case depends on whether the C.O.
-lunched well, or if the G.O.C. strafed or complimented him the last
-time they held palaver. Even colonels are human.
-
-“Charge against Private Maconochie, No. 170298, drunk,” etc., reads the
-Adjutant.
-
-After the evidence has been heard the Colonel, having had no
-explanation or defence from the accused, proceeds to pass sentence.
-This being a first “drunk” he cannot do very much but talk, and talk he
-does.
-
-“You were drunk, Thomkins. You were found in a state of absolutely
-sodden intoxication, found in the main street of Ablain-le-Petit at
-4 P.M. in the afternoon. You were so drunk that the evidence quotes
-you as sleeping on the side-walk. You are a disgrace to the regiment,
-Thomkins! You outrage the first principles of decency, you cast a
-slur on your battalion. You deliberately, of set purpose, intoxicate
-yourself at an early hour of the afternoon. I have a good mind to
-remand for a Field General Court-martial. Then you would be shot! Shot,
-do you understand? But I shall deal with you myself. I shall not permit
-the name of this battalion to be besmirched by _you_. Reprimanded!
-Reprimanded! Do you hear, sir!”
-
-(Voice of the R.S.M., north front.) “Right turn. Right wheel; quick
-marrch!”
-
-
-
-
-OUR FARM
-
-
- _July 30th, 1916._
-
-We are staying at a farm; quite an orthodox, Bairnsfather farm, except
-that in lieu of one (nominal) dead cow, we possess one (actual) portion
-of Dried Hun. The view from our doorway is somewhat extensive, and
-full of local colour! There are “steen” other farms all around us,
-all of which look as though they had been played with by professional
-house-wreckers out on a “beno.” “AK” Company--what there is left of
-it--has at present “gone to ground,” and from the lake to “Guildhall
-Manor” (we are very Toney over here!) there is no sign of life. A
-Fokker dropped in to call half an hour ago, but Archie & Sons awoke
-with some alacrity, and he has gone elsewhere. It is too hot even to
-write, and the C.O. of “AK” Coy., who _will_ wash every day, is a
-disturbing influence. He splashes about in two inches of “wipers swill”
-as though he really liked it, and the nett result is that somewhere
-around 4 “pip emma” the rest of us decide to shave also, which ruins
-the afternoon siesta.
-
-This is a great life. Breakfast at 2 A.M., lunch at noon, dinner at 4
-P.M., and supper any old time.
-
-Macpherson--one of those enthusiastic blighters--insisted on taking
-me for a walk this morning. Being pure Edinburgh, Mac collects rum,
-whisky, and miscellaneous junk of all descriptions. When he returns to
-Canada he intends to run a junk shop in rear of a saloon.
-
-The Boche was in a genial mood this morning. As we squelched along
-Flossy way, “out for bear,” he began to tickle up poor old Paradise
-Wood with woolly bears, and Mount Sparrow with Minnies. Mac has no
-sense of humour, he failed to see the joke. “There is a pairfectly
-good pair of field-glasses to the left of Diamond Copse,” he said
-mournfully, “and we cannot get them.” Diamond Copse is the sort of
-place one reads about, and wishes one had never seen. It is about an
-acre and a half in extent, and was once a pretty place enough, with a
-few fine oak trees, and many young saplings. Nowadays, it can hardly
-show a live twig, while shell-holes, bits of shrapnel, stinking pools
-tinged with reddy-brown, and forlorn remnants of trench--not to speak
-of dead bodies--make it into a nightmare of a place.
-
-“There is a sniper in Paradise Wood, and I do not like him,” Mac
-announced gravely, after the fifth bullet, so we dodged over a
-grave, under a fallen oak, and into a shell-wrecked dug-out full of
-torn web equipment, machine-gun belts, old bully-beef, biscuits, a
-stained blanket, and a boot with part of the wearer’s leg in it. The
-horse-flies were very annoying, and a dead donkey in a narrow street
-of Cairo would be as violets to patchouli compared with the smell. Mac
-kept nosing around, and finally retrieved a safety razor and a box of
-number nine pills from an old overcoat. “There is some one over there
-in need of burial,” he said, “I can see the flies.” The flies were
-incidental, but Mac is that kind of chap.
-
-We found what was left of the poor fellow near by. There was nothing
-but bone and sinew, and torn remnants of clothing. It was impossible
-to identify the man, and equally impossible to move him. By his side
-lay a bunch of letters, dirty and torn, and in a pocket which I opened
-gingerly with a jack-knife, a photograph of a girl--“With love, from
-Mary.” The letters had no envelopes, and all began, “Dear Jimmy.” Mac
-read one, and passed it over to me: “Dear Jimmy,--Enclosed you will
-find a pair of socks, some chewing gum, and a pair of wool gloves I
-knitted myself. The baby is well, and so am I. Peraps you will get
-leeve before long. Take care of yourself, Jim dear. The pottatoes have
-done good, an’ I am growing some tommatos. My separashun allowence
-comes reglar, so don’t worry. You will be home soon, Jim, for the
-papers say the Germans is beaten. I got your letter written in May.
-Alice is well. Your lovin’ wife, Mary.” “Och, it’s a shame,” said Mac,
-not looking at me. “A Tragedy, and but one of thousands.”
-
-We covered poor Jim over with old sand-bags, as best we might, and
-his letters and photograph with him. Then we came back to our farm to
-lunch.
-
-
-
-
-AEROPLANES AND “ARCHIE”
-
-
-There is something fascinating about aeroplanes. However many thousands
-of them one may have seen, however many aerial combats one may have
-witnessed, there is always the desire to see these things again, and,
-inwardly, to marvel.
-
-Ten thousand feet above, round balls of black smoke appear in the blue
-sky, coming, as it were, out of the nowhere into here. After long
-listening you hear the echo of the distant explosion, like the clapping
-together of the hands of a man in the aisle of an empty church, and
-if you search very diligently, you will at last see the aeroplane, a
-little dot in the ether, moving almost slowly--so it appears--on its
-appointed course. Now the sun strikes the white-winged, bird-like thing
-as it turns, and it glitters in the beams of light like a diamond in
-the sky. Now it banks a little higher, now planes down at a dizzy
-angle. Suddenly, short, sharp, distinct, you catch the sound of
-machine-gun fire. Quick stuttering bursts, as the visible machine and
-the invisible enemy circle about each other, seeking to wound, wing,
-and destroy. Ah! There it is! The Fokker dives, steep and straight,
-at our machine, and one can clearly see the little darts of flame as
-the machine-guns rattle. Our man quite calmly loops the loop, and then
-seems almost to skid after the Fokker which has carried on downwards,
-evidently hit. He swoops down on the stricken plane, pumping in lead
-as he goes. The twain seem to meet in collision, then--yes, the Fokker
-is plunging, nose-diving, down, down, at a terrific rate of speed. Our
-aviator swings free in a great circle, banks, and at top speed makes
-back to his air-line patrol, while the German Archies open up on him
-with redoubled violence, as, serenely confident, he hums along his way.
-
-It is truly wonderful what a fire an aeroplane can pass through quite
-unscathed as far as actual hinderance to flight is concerned. Many a
-time you can count nearly two hundred wreathing balls of smoke in the
-track of the machine, and yet it sails placidly onward as though the
-air were the native element of its pilot and the attentions of Archie
-nonexistent.
-
-It is Tommy who first gave the anti-aircraft gun that euphonious name.
-Why, no one knows. It must be intensely trying to be an Archie gunner.
-Rather like shooting at driven partridges with an air-gun, though far
-more exciting. The shells may burst right on the nose of the aeroplane,
-to all intents and purposes, and yet the machine goes on, veering this
-way or that, dropping or rising, apparently quite indifferent to the
-bitter feelings it is causing down below. It is the most haughty and
-inscrutable of all the weapons of war, to all outward appearances, and
-yet when misfortune overtakes it, it is a very lame duck indeed.
-
-Archie is very much like a dog, his bark is worse than his bite--until
-he has bitten! His motto is “persevere,” and in the long run he meets
-with some success. Halcyon days, when he wags his metaphorical tail and
-the official communiqués pat him on the head. He does not like other
-dogs, bigger dogs, to bark at him. They quite drown his own bark, so
-that it is useless to bark back, and their highly explosive nature
-forces him to put his tail between his legs and run for it, like a chow
-pursued by a mastiff. No common-sense Archie stops in any place long
-after the five-nines and the H.E. shrapnel begin to burst around it. In
-that case discretion is indubitably the better part of valour.
-
-Aeroplanes have a nasty habit of “spotting” Archies, whereby they
-even up old scores and prove their superiority. For even the lordly
-aeroplane does not charge an Archie barrage by preference.
-
-It is when the planes come out in force, a score at a time, that
-poor Archibald has a rough time, and, so to speak, scratches his ear
-desperately with his hind leg. The planes do not come in serried mass,
-but, wheeling this way and that, diving off here and down yonder,
-so confuse poor Archie that he even stops barking at all, wondering
-which one he ought to bark at first! By this time most of the planes
-have sidled gracefully out of range, rounded up and driven down the
-iron-cross birds, and, having dropped their “cartes de visite” at the
-rail-head, are returning by ways that are swift and various to the
-place whence they came. All of which is most unsettling to the soul of
-Archibald.
-
-In the evening, when the west is pink and gold, Archie’s eyes grow
-wearied. He sees dimly many aeroplanes, here and there, going and
-coming, and he _has_ been known to bark at the wrong one! Wherefore the
-homing aeroplane drops a star-signal very often to let him know that
-all is well, and that no German hawks menace the safety of the land
-over which he is the “ethereal” guardian, in theory, if not always in
-practice.
-
-At night Archie slumbers profoundly. But the birds of the air do not
-always sleep. Many a night one hears the throb and hum of a machine
-crossing the line, and because Archie is asleep we pay him unconscious
-tribute: “Is it ours, or theirs?”
-
-Once, not a mile from the front line, Archie dreamed he saw a Zeppelin.
-He awoke, stood to, and pointed his nose straight up in the air. Far
-above him, many thousands of feet aloft, a silvery, menacing sphere
-hung in the rays of the searchlights. And he barked his loudest and
-longest, but without avail, for the distance was too great. And the
-imaginative French folk heaped unintentional infamy upon him when they
-spoke quite placidly of “Archie baying at the moon!”
-
-
-
-
-STIRRING TIMES
-
-
-At the corner of the Grande Route de Bapaume near the square, stands
-the little old Estaminet of La Veuve Matifas.
-
-It is only a humble Estaminet, where, in the old days, Pierre Lapont
-and old Daddy Duchesne discussed a “chope,” and talked over the
-failings of the younger generation, but nowadays it bears a notice
-on the little door leading into the back room, “For officers only.”
-The men have the run of the larger room, during hours, but the little
-parlour in rear is a spot sacred to those wearing from one star upwards.
-
-Madame Matifas is old, and very large.
-
-“Mais, Monsieur le Capitaine, dans ma jeunesse.... Ah! Alors!”--and
-she dearly loves a good hearty laugh. She also sells most excellent
-champagne, and--let it be murmured softly--Cointreau, Benedictine,
-and very rarely a bottle of “Skee” (“B. & W.” for choice). She has
-twinkling brown eyes, fat comfortable-looking hands, and we all call
-her “Mother,” while she calls those of us who please her “Mon brave
-garçon.”
-
-But La Veuve Matifas is not the sole attraction of the Bon Fermier nor
-are even her very excellent wines and other drinks, that may inebriate.
-She has two children: Cécile and Marie Antoinette. The former is,
-strange to say, “petite” and “mignonne”--she is also very pretty and
-she knows all the officers of our Division; most of the young and
-tender ones write to her from the trenches. You may kiss Cécile on the
-cheek if you know her well.
-
-Marie Antoinette is of the tall, rather rich coloured, passionate type.
-She was engaged to a “Little Corporal” of the 77th Infantry of the
-Line. Alas, he died of wounds seven months ago. She wears mourning for
-him, but Marie is now in love with the Senior Major, or else we are
-all blind! (Uneasy rests the arm that wears a crown!) However, that is
-neither here not there. We like the widow Matifas, and we all admire
-her daughters, while some of us fall in love with them, and we _always_
-have a “stirring time” when we reach rest billets within walking
-distance of the “Estaminet du Bon Fermier,” or even gee gee distance.
-
-In defiance of the A.P.M. we float into town about 8 “pip emma” (the
-O.C. signals _will_ bring “shop” into every-day conversation) and
-stealthily creep up the little back alley which leads to the back
-door of the Estaminet. We gather there--four of us, as a rule--and we
-tap thrice. We hear a fat, uneven walk, and the heavy respiration of
-“Maman,” and then:
-
-“Qui est là?”
-
-“C’est nous, Mère Matifas!”
-
-The door is unbolted, and we enter. Scholes invariably salutes Maman
-on both cheeks, and we--if we have the chance--salute her daughters.
-Then we carry on to the parlour. Pelham--who thinks all women love his
-goo-goo eyes--tries to tell Marie Antoinette, in simply rotten French,
-how much he loves her, and Marie gets very business-like, and wants to
-know if we want Moët et Chandon at 12 frcs. a bottle or “the other” at
-six.
-
-So far we have never dared to try “the other,” for fear that we appear
-“real mean”! Maman bustles about, and calls us her brave boys, and
-_never_ says a word about the war, which is a real kindness to us
-war-weary people.
-
-Cécile makes her entrance usually after the second bottle; probably to
-make her sister envious, because she always gets such a warm welcome.
-In fact there is an almost scandalous amount of competition for the
-honour of sitting next to her.
-
-La Veuve Matifas stays until after the third bottle. She has tact, that
-woman, and a confidence in ourselves and her daughters that no man who
-is worthy of the name would take advantage of.
-
-Last time we were there an incident occurred which literally took
-all our breaths away. We were in the middle of what Allmays calls
-“Close harmony” and Allmays was mixing high tenor, basso profundo, and
-Benedictine, when suddenly the door opened in a most impressive manner.
-That little plain deal door _felt_ important, and it had the right to
-feel important too.
-
-The C.O. came in.
-
-We got up.
-
-The C.O. turned to Cécile, who was sitting _far_ too close to Pelham,
-in my estimation (for I was on the other side), and said, “Cécile, two
-more bottles please!” Then to us, “Sit down, gentlemen, carry on.” We
-were all fairly senior officers, but Maman nearly fainted dead away
-when we conveyed to her the fact that a real, live, active service
-Colonel was in her back parlour at 9.15 “pip emma,” ordering up the
-bubbly.
-
-He stayed a whole hour, and we had to sing. And then he told us that
-he had been offered a Brigade, and was leaving us. We were all jolly
-sorry--and jolly glad too--and we said so. We told the girls. “Un
-Général!” cried Cécile. “Mon Dieu!” and before we could stop her she
-flung her arms round the C.O.’s neck and kissed him. We all expected to
-be shot at dawn or dismissed the service, but the C.O. took it like a
-real brick, and Pelham swears he kissed her back--downy old bird that
-he is!
-
-After he had left we had a bully time. Marie Antoinette was peeved
-because she had not kissed the Colonel herself, and Cécile was
-sparkling because she _had_ kissed him. Which gave us all a chance.
-Mère Matifas drank two whole glasses of champagne, and insisted on
-dancing a Tarantelle with Allmays, whom she called a “joli garçon,” and
-flirted with most shamelessly. Pelham got mixed up with a coon song,
-and spent half an hour trying to unmix, and Scholes consoled Marie
-Antoinette. As for me, well, there was nothing for it--Cécile _had_ to
-be talked to, don’t you know!
-
-Mother “pro-duced” a bottle of “B. & W.” also. In fact we had a most
-stirring time!
-
-We still go to see La Veuve Matifas. She never speaks to us without
-saying at least once, “Ah! Mais le brave Général, image de mon mari, où
-est il?”
-
-I have a photograph of Cécile in the left-hand breast pocket of my
-second-best tunic. Scholes says he is going to marry Marie Antoinette,
-“Après la Guerre,” in spite of the Senior Major!
-
-
-
-
-SICK PARADE
-
-
-“The Company,” read the orderly Sergeant, “will parade at 8.45 A.M.,
-and go for a route march. Dress: Light marching order.”
-
-A groan went up from the dark shadows of the dimly-lighted barn, which
-died down gradually on the order to “cut it out.” “Sick parade at
-7.30 A.M. at the M.O.’s billet Menin-lee-Chotaw,” announced the O.S.
-sombrely. “Any of you men who wanter go sick give in your names to
-Corporal Jones right now.”
-
-Yells of “Right here, Corporal,” “I can’t move a limb, Corporal,”
-and other statements of a like nature, announced the fact that there
-were quite a number of gentlemen whose pronounced view it was that
-they could not do an eight-mile route march the next day. Corporal
-Jones emerged, perspiring, after half an hour’s gallant struggle.
-Being very conscientious he took full particulars, according to Hoyle:
-name, number, rank, initials, age, religion, and nature of disease.
-The last he invariably asked for by means of the code phrase,
-“wossermarrerwi_you_?”
-
-Having refused to admit at least half a dozen well-known scrimshankers
-to the roll of sick, lame, and lazy, he finished up with Private
-Goodman, who declared himself suffering from “rheumatics hall over. Me
-legs is somethin’ tur’ble bad.”
-
-There were thirteen names on the report.
-
-Menin-le-Château being a good three kilometres distant, the sick
-fell in at 6.30 A.M. the next day. The grey dawn was breaking in
-the East, and a drizzling rain made the village street even more
-miserable-looking than it was at all times. As on all sick parades, all
-the members thereof endeavoured to look their very worst, and succeeded
-admirably for the most part. They were unshaven, improperly dressed,
-according to military standards, and they shuffled around like a bunch
-of old women trying to catch a bus. Corporal Jones was in a very bad
-temper, and he told them many things, the least of which would have
-made a civilian’s hair turn grey. But, being “sick,” the men merely
-listened to him with a somewhat apathetic interest.
-
-They moved off in file, a sorry-looking bunch of soldiers. Each man
-chose his own gait, which no injunctions to get in step could affect,
-and a German under-officer looking them over would have reported to his
-superiors that the morale of the British troops was hopeless.
-
-At 7.25 A.M. this unseemly procession arrived in Menin-le-Château. In
-the far distance Corporal Jones espied the Regimental Sergeant-Major.
-The latter was a man whom every private considered an incarnation of
-the devil! The junior N.C.O.’s feared him, and the Platoon Sergeants
-had a respect for him founded on bitter experience in the past, when
-he had found them wanting. In other words he was a cracking good
-Sergeant-Major of the old-fashioned type. He was privately referred to
-as Rattle-Snake Pete, a tribute not only to his disciplinary measures,
-but also to his heavy, fierce black moustachios, and a lean, eagle-like
-face in which was set a pair of fierce, penetrating black eyes.
-
-“If,” said Corporal Jones loudly, “you all wants to be up for Office
-you’ll _walk_. Otherways you’ll _march_! There’s the Sergeant-Major!”
-
-The sick parade pulled itself together with a click. Collars and
-the odd button were furtively looked over and done up, caps pulled
-straight, and no sound broke the silence save a smart unison of
-“left-right-left” along the muddy road. The R.S.M. looked them over
-with a gleam in his eye as they passed, and glanced at his watch.
-
-“’Alf a minute late, Co’poral Jones,” he shouted. “Break into double
-time. Double ... march!” The sick parade trotted away steadily--until
-they got round a bend in the road. “Sick!!!” murmured the R.S.M. “My
-H’EYE!”
-
-A little way further on the parade joined a group composed of the sick
-of other battalion units, some fifty in all. Corporal Jones handed his
-sick report to the stretcher-bearer Sergeant, and was told he would
-have to wait until the last.
-
-In half an hour’s time the first name of the men in his party was
-called--Lance-Corporal MacMannish.
-
-“What’s wrong?” asked the doctor briskly.
-
-“’A have got a pain in here, sirr,” said MacMannish, “an’ it’s sair,
-sorr,” pointing to the centre of his upper anatomy.
-
-“Show me your tongue? H’m. Eating too much! Colic. Two number nine’s.
-Light duty.”
-
-Lance-Corporal MacMannish about-turned with a smile of ecstatic joy and
-departed, having duly swallowed the pills.
-
-“What did ye get, Jock?”
-
-“Och! Light duty,” said the hero with the air of a wronged man
-justified, “but _you’ll_ be no gettin’ such a thing, Bowering!”
-
-“And why not?” demanded the latter scowling. However, his name being
-then called put an end to the discussion.
-
-“I have pains in me head and back, sir,” explained Mr. Bowering, “and
-no sleep for two nights.” The doctor looked him over with a critical,
-expert eye.
-
-“Give him a number nine. Medicine and duty. Don’t drink so much,
-Bowering! That’s enough. Clear out!”
-
-“_He’s_ no doctor,” declared the victim when he reached the street.
-“Huh! I wouldn’t trust a _cat_ with ’im!”
-
-The next man got no duty, and this had such an effect on him that he
-almost forgot he was a sick man, and walloped a pal playfully in the
-ribs on the doorstep, which nearly led to trouble.
-
-Of the remaining ten, all save one were awarded medicine and duty, but
-they took so long to tell the story of their symptoms, and managed
-to develop such good possible cases, that it was 8.45 before the
-parade fell in again to march back to billets, a fact which they all
-thoroughly appreciated!
-
-Wonderful the swinging step with which they set forth, Corporal Jones
-at the head, Lance-Corporal MacMannish, quietly triumphant, bringing
-up the rear. They passed the Colonel in the village, and he stopped
-Corporal Jones to inquire what they were.
-
-“Your men are marching very well, Corporal. ‘A’ Company? Ah, yes.
-Fatigue party, hey?”
-
-“No-sir, sick-parade-sir!”
-
-“Sick Parade! God bless my soul! Sick! How many men were given medicine
-and duty?”
-
-“Nine, sir.”
-
-“Nine, out of thirteen.... ‘A’ Company is on a route march this
-morning, is it not?”
-
-“Yessir.”
-
-“My compliments to Major Bland, Corporal, and I would like him to
-parade these nine men in heavy marching order and send them on a
-nine-mile route march, under an officer.”
-
-“Very good, sir!”
-
-Next day there were no representatives of “A” Coy. on sick parade!
-
-
-
-
-BATMEN
-
-
-This war has produced a new breed of mankind, something that the army
-has never seen before, although they have formed a part of it, under
-the same name, since Noah was a boy. They are alike in name only.
-Batmen, the regular army type, are professionals. What they don’t know
-about cleaning brass, leather, steel, and general valeting simply isn’t
-worth knowing. They are super-servants, and they respect their position
-as reverently as an English butler respects his. With the new batman it
-is different. Usually the difficulty is not so much to discover what
-they do not know, as what they do! A new officer arrives at the front,
-or elsewhere, and he has to have a batman. It is a rather coveted
-job, and applicants are not slow in coming forward. Some man who is
-tired of doing sentry duty gets the position, and his “boss” spends
-anxious weeks bringing him up in the way he should go, losing, in the
-interval, socks, handkerchiefs, underwear, gloves, ties, shirts, and
-collars galore! What can be said to the wretched man when in answer to
-“Where the ---- is my new pair of socks?” he looks faint and replies:
-“I’ve lost them, sir!” Verily, as the “professional” scornfully
-remarks, are these “Saturday night batmen!”
-
-Yet even batmen are born, not made. Lucky is he who strikes on one
-of the former; only the man is sure to get killed, or wounded, or go
-sick! There is always a fly in the ointment somewhere. The best kind
-of batman to have is a kleptomaniac. Treat him well and he will never
-touch a thing of your own, but he will, equally, never leave a thing
-belonging to any one else!
-
-“Cozens, where did you get this pair of pants?”
-
-“Found them, sir!”
-
-“Where did you find them?”
-
-“Lying on the floor, sir,” with an air of injured surprise.
-
-“_Where!_”
-
-“I don’t justly remember, sir.”
-
-Voice from right rear: “The Major’s compliments, sir, and have you
-seen his new pants?”
-
-“Cozens!”
-
-“Yessir.”
-
-“Give me those pants.... Are those the Major’s?”
-
-“Yes, sir, them’s them.”
-
-Cozens watches the pants disappear with a sad, retrospective air of
-gloom.
-
-“You ain’t got but the _one_ pair now, sir.” This with reproach.
-
-“How many times have I got to tell you to leave other people’s clothes
-alone? The other day it was pyjamas, now it’s pants. You’ll be taking
-somebody’s boots next. Confound it. I’ll--I’ll return you to duty if
-you do it again!... How about all those handkerchiefs? Where did _they_
-come from?”
-
-“All yours, sir, back from the wash!” With a sigh, one is forced to
-give up the unequal contest.
-
-Albeit as valets the batmen of the present day compare feebly with the
-old type, in certain other ways they are head and shoulders above them.
-The old “pro” refuses to do a single thing beyond looking after the
-clothing and accoutrements of his master. The new kind of batman can
-be impressed to do almost anything. He will turn into a runner, wait
-at table, or seize a rifle with gusto and help get Fritz’s wind up. Go
-long journeys to find souvenirs, and make himself generally useful. He
-will even “bat” for the odd officer, when occasion arises, as well as
-for his own particular boss.
-
-No man is a hero in the eyes of his own batman. He knows everything
-about you, even to the times when your banking account is nil. He knows
-when you last had a bath, and when you last changed your underwear. He
-knows how much you eat, and also how much you drink; he knows all your
-friends with whom you correspond, and most of your family affairs as
-revealed by that correspondence, and nothing can hide from his eagle
-eye the fact that you are--lousy! Yet he is a pretty good sort, after
-all; he never tells. We once had a rather agéd sub. in the Company
-whose teeth were not his own, not a single one of them. One night,
-after a somewhat heavy soirée and general meeting of friends, he
-went to bed--or, to be more accurate, was tucked in by his faithful
-henchman--and lost both the upper and lower sets in the silent watches.
-The following morning he had a fearfully worried look, and spake not at
-all, except in whispers to his batman. Finally, the O.C. Company asked
-him a question, and he _had_ to say something. It sounded like “A out
-mo,” so we all instantly realised something was lacking. He refused
-to eat anything at all, but took a little nourishment in the form of
-tea. His batman was to be observed crawling round the floor, perspiring
-at every pore, searching with his ears aslant and his mouth wide open
-for hidden ivory. We all knew it; poor old Gerrard knew we knew it,
-but the batman was faithful to the last, even when he pounced on the
-quarry with the light of triumph in his eye. He came to his master
-after breakfast was over and asked if he could speak to him. Poor
-Gerrard moved into the other room, and you could have heard a pin drop.
-“Please, sir,” in a stage whisper from his batman, “please, sir, I’ve
-got hold of them TEETH, sir! But the front ones is habsent, sir, ’aving
-bin trod on!”
-
-The biggest nuisance on God’s earth is a batman who spends all his
-spare moments getting drunk! Usually, however, he is a first-class
-batman during his sober moments! He will come in “plastered to the
-eyes” about eleven o’clock, and begin to hone your razors by the pallid
-rays of a candle, or else clean your revolver and see if the cartridges
-fit! In his cups he is equal to anything at all. Unless the case is
-really grave the man wins every time, for no one hates the idea of
-changing his servant more than an officer who has had the same man for
-a month or so and found him efficient.
-
-Not infrequently batmen are touchingly faithful. They will do anything
-on earth for their “boss” at any time of the day or night, and never
-desert him in the direst extremity. More than one batman has fallen
-side by side with his officer, whom he had followed into the fray,
-close on his heels.
-
-Once, after a charge, a conversation ensued between the sergeant of a
-certain officer’s platoon and that officer’s batman, in this fashion:
-
-“What were _you_ doin’ out there, Tommy?”
-
-“Follerin’.”
-
-“And why was you close up on his heels, so clost I could ’ardly see
-’im?”
-
-“Follerin’ ’im up.”
-
-“And why wasn’t you back somewhere _safe_?” (This with a touch of
-sarcasm.)
-
-“Lord, Sargint, you couldn’t expect me to let _’im_ go out by ’isself!
-’E might ha’ got hurt!”
-
-
-
-
-RATIONS
-
-
-“Bully-beef an’ ’ard-tack,” said Private Boddy disgustedly. “Bully-beef
-that’s canned dog or ’orse, or may be cats, an’ biscuits that’s _fit_
-for dawgs.... This is a ’ell of a war. W’y did I ever leave little old
-Walkerville, w’ere the whiskey comes from? Me an’ ’Iram we was almost
-pals, as you may say. I worked a ’ole fortnight in ’is place, at $1.75
-per, an’ then I----” Mr. Boddy broke off abruptly, but not soon enough.
-
-“Huh!” broke in a disgusted voice from a remote corner of the dug-out,
-“then I guess you went bummin’ your way till the bulls got you in
-Windsor. To hear you talk a chap would think you didn’t know what
-pan-handlin’ was, or going out on the stem.”
-
-“Look ’ere,” said Boddy with heat, “you comeralong outside, you great
-long rubberneck, you, an’ I’ll teach you to call me a pan-’andler, I
-will. You low-life Chicago bum, wot never _did_ ’ave a better meal
-than you could steal f’m a Chink Chop Suey.”
-
-“Say, fellers,” a quiet voice interposed, “cut it out. This ain’t a
-Parliament Buildings nor a Montreal cabaret. There’s a war on. If youse
-guys wants to talk about rations, then go ahead, shoot, but cut out the
-rough stuff!”
-
-“Dat’s what _I_ say, Corporal,” interrupted a French-Canadian. “I’m a
-funny sort of a guy, I am. I likes to hear a good spiel, widout any
-of dis here free cussin’ an’ argumentation. Dat ain’t no good, fer it
-don’t cut no ice, _no’ d’un ch’en_!”
-
-“Talkin’ of rations,” drawled a Western voice, “when I was up to
-Calgary in ’08, an’ was done gone busted, save for two bits, I tuk a
-flop in one of them houses at 15 cents per, an’ bot a cow’s heel with
-the dime. You kin b’lieve me or you needn’t, but I _tell_ you a can of
-that bully you’re shootin’ off about would ha’ seemed mighty good to
-_me_, right then, an’ it aren’t so dusty naow.”
-
-Private Boddy snorted his contempt. “An’ the jam they gives you,” he
-said, “w’y at ’ome you couldn’t _give_ it away! Plum an’ happle! Or
-wot they call plain happle! It ain’t never seed a plum, bar the stone,
-nor a happle, bar the core. It’s just colourin’ mixed up wiv boiled
-down turnups, that’s what it is.”
-
-“De bread’s all right, anyways,” said Lamontagne, “but dey don’t never
-git you more’n a slice a man! An dat cheese. Pouff! It stink like a
-Fritz wot’s laid dead since de British takes Pozières.”
-
-Scottie broke in.
-
-“Aye, but hold yerr maunderin’. Ye canna verra weel have aught to clack
-aboot when ’tis the Rum ye speak of.”
-
-“Dat’s all right,” Lamontagne responded, “de rum’s all right. But
-who gets it? What youse gets is one ting. A little mouthful down de
-brook wot don’t do no more than make you drier as you was before. What
-does de Sargents get? So much dey all is so rambunctious mad after a
-feller he dasn’t look dem in de face or dey puts him up for office!
-Dat’s a fine ways, dat is! An’ dem awficers! De limit, dat’s what
-dat is. I was up to de cook-house wid a--wid a rifle----”--“a dirty
-rifle too, on inspection, by Heck,” the Corporal supplemented--“wid
-a rifle, as I was sayin’,” continued Lamontagne, with a reproachful
-look in the direction of his section commander, “an’ I sees wot was
-in de cook-house a cookin’ for de awficers” (his voice sunk to an
-impressive whisper). “D’ere was eeggs, wid de sunny side up, an’ dere
-was bif-steaks all floatin’ in gravy, an’ pottitters an’ _beans_, an’
-peaches an’ peyers.”
-
-“Quit yer fool gabbin’,” said Chicago. “H’aint you got no sense in that
-mutt-head o’ yourn? That’s food them ginks BUYS!”
-
-Boddy had been silent so long he could bear it no longer.
-
-“’Ave a ’eart,” he said, “it gives me a pain ter fink of all that
-food the horficers heats. Pure ’oggery, I calls it. An’ ter fink of
-th’ little bit o’ bread an’ biscuit an’ bacon--wot’s all fat--wot we
-fellers gets to eat. _We_ does the work, an’ the horficers sits in easy
-chairs an’ Heats!! Oh _w’y_ did I join the Harmy?”
-
-At this moment, Private Graham, who had been slumbering peacefully
-until Lamontagne, in his excitement, put a foot in the midst of his
-anatomy, added his quota to the discussion. Private Graham wore the
-King and Queen’s South African medal and also the Somaliland. Before
-drink reduced him, he had been a company Q.M.S. in a crack regiment.
-His words were usually respected. “Strike me pink if you Saturday night
-soldiers don’t give me the guts-ache,” he remarked with some acerbity.
-“In Afriky you’d ha’ bin dead an’ buried months ago, judgin’ by the way
-you talks! There it was march, march, march, an’ no fallin’ out. Little
-water, a ’an’ful o’ flour, an’ a tin of bully wot was fly-blowed two
-minutes after you opened it, unless you ’ad eat it a’ready. An’ you
-talks about food! S’elp me if it ain’t a crime. Rations! W’y, never in
-the ’ole ’istory of the world ’as a Army bin better fed nor we are. You
-young soldiers sh’d learn a thing or two afore you starts talkin’ abaht
-yer elders an’ betters. Lord, in th’ old days a hofficers’ mess was
-somethin’ to dream abaht. Nowadays they can’t ’old a candle to it. Wot
-d’yer expec’? D’yer think a horficer is goin’ to deny ’is stummick if
-’e can buy food ter put in it? ’E ain’t so blame stark starin’ mad as
-all that. You makes me sick, you do!”
-
-“Dat’s what _I_ say,” commented Lamontagne!
-
-From afar came a voice crying, “Turn out for your rations.”
-
-In thirty seconds the dug-out was empty!
-
-
-
-
-OUR SCOUT OFFICER
-
-
-We have a certain admiration for our scout officer; not so much for his
-sleuth-hound propensities, as for his completely _dégagé_ air. He is a
-Holmes-Watson individual, in whom the Holmes is usually subservient to
-the Watson.
-
-Without a map--he either has several dozen or none at all--he is purely
-Watson. With a map he is transformed into a Sherlock, instanter. The
-effect of a _new_ map on him is like that of a new build of aeroplane
-on an aviator. He pores over it, he reverses the north and south gear,
-and gets the magnetic differential on the move; with a sweep of the
-eye he climbs up hills and goes down into valleys, he encircles a wood
-with a pencil-marked forefinger--and asks in an almost pained way for
-nail-scissors. Finally, he sends out his Scout Corporal and two men,
-armed to the teeth with spy-glasses and compasses (magnetic, mark
-VIII), to reconnoitre. When they come back (having walked seventeen
-kilometres to get to a point six miles away) and report, he says,
-wagging his head sagely: “Ah! I knew it. According to this map, 81×D
-(parts of), 82 GN, south-west (parts of), 32 B^1, N.W. (parts of), and
-19 CF, East (parts of), the only available route is the main road,
-marked quite clearly on the map, and running due east-north-east by
-east from Bn. H.Q.”
-
-But he is a cheerful soul. The other day, when we were romancing around
-in the Somme, we had to take over a new line; one of those “lines”
-that genial old beggar Fritz makes for us with 5.9’s. He--the Scout
-Officer--rose to the occasion. He went to the Commanding Officer, and
-in his most ingratiating manner, his whole earnest soul in his pale
-blue eyes, offered to take him up to his battle head-quarters.
-
-This offer was accepted, albeit the then Adjutant had a baleful glitter
-in _his_ eye.
-
-After he had led us by ways that were strange and peculiar through the
-gathering darkness, and after the Colonel had fallen over some barbed
-wire into a very damp shell-hole, he began to look worried. We struck
-a very famous road--along which even the worms dare not venture--and
-our Intelligence Officer led us for several hundred yards along it.
-
-An occasional high explosive shrapnel shell burst in front and to rear
-of us, but, map grasped firmly in the right hand, our Scout Officer
-led us fearlessly onwards. He did not march, he did not even walk, he
-sauntered. Then with a dramatic gesture wholly unsuited to the time
-and circumstances, he turned and said: “Do you mind waiting a minute,
-sir, while I look at the map?” After a few brief comments the C.O. went
-to earth in a shell-hole. The Scout Officer sat down in the road, and
-examined his map by the aid of a flash-light until the Colonel threw a
-clod of earth at him accompanied by some very uncomplimentary remarks.
-“I think, sir,” said the Scout Officer, his gaunt frame and placid
-countenance illumined by shell-bursts, “that if we cross the road and
-go North by East we may perhaps strike the communication trench leading
-to the Brewery. _Personally_, I would suggest going overland, but----”
-His last words were drowned by the explosion of four 8.1’s 50 yards
-rear right. “Get out of this, sir! Get out of this DAMN quick,” roared
-the C.O. The Scout Officer stood to attention slowly, and saluted with
-a deprecating air.
-
-He led.
-
-We followed.
-
-He took us straight into one of the heaviest barrages it had ever been
-our misfortune to encounter, and when we had got there he said he was
-lost. So for twenty minutes the C.O., the Adjutant, nine runners, and,
-last but not least, the Scout Officer, sat under a barrage in various
-shell-holes, and prayed inwardly--with the exception of the Scout
-Officer--that _he_ (the S.O.) would be hit plump in the centre of his
-maps by a 17-inch shell.
-
-It were well to draw a veil over what followed. Even Holmes-Watson
-does not like to hear it mentioned. Suffice to say that the C.O. (with
-party) left at 5.30 P.M. and arrived at battle head-quarters at 11.35
-P.M. The Scout Officer was then engaged in discovering a route between
-Battle H.Q. and the front line. He reported back at noon the following
-day, and slept in a shell-hole for thirteen hours. No one could live
-near the C.O. for a week, and he threatened the S.O. with a short-stick
-MILLS.
-
-If there is one thing which the Scout Officer does not like, it is
-riding a horse. He almost admits that he cannot ride! The other day he
-met a friend. The friend had one quart bottle of Hennessey, three star.
-The Scout Officer made a thorough reconnaissance of the said bottle,
-and reported on same.
-
-A spirited report.
-
-Unhappily the C.O. ordered a road reconnaissance an hour later, and our
-Scout Officer had to ride a horse. The entire H.Q. sub-staff assisted
-him to mount, and the last we saw of Holmes-Watson, he was galloping
-down the road, sitting well on the horse’s neck, hands grasping the
-saddle tightly, rear and aft. Adown the cold November wind we heard his
-dulcet voice carolling:
-
- “I put my money on a bob-tailed nag!...
- Doo-dah ... Doo-dah!
- _I_ put my money on a bob-tailed nag;
- ... Doo-dah! ... Doo-dah!! ... _DEY!!!_”
-
-
-
-
-MARTHA OF DRANVOORDE
-
-
-Martha Beduys, in Belgium, was considered pretty, even handsome. Of
-that sturdy Flemish build so characteristic of Belgian women, in whom
-the soil seems to induce embonpoint, she was plump to stoutness. She
-was no mere girl; twenty-seven years had passed over her head when the
-war broke out, and she saw for the first time English soldiers in the
-little village that had always been her home. There was a great deal
-of excitement. As the oldest of seven sisters, Martha was the least
-excited, but the most calculating.
-
-The little baker’s shop behind the dull old church had always been a
-source of income, but never a means to the attainment of wealth. Martha
-had the soul of a shop-keeper, a thing which, in her father’s eyes,
-made her the pride of his household.
-
-Old Hans Beduys was a man of some strength of mind. His features
-were sharp and keen, his small, blue eyes had a glitter in them
-which seemed to accentuate their closeness to each other, and his
-hands--lean, knotted, claw-like--betokened his chief desire in life.
-Born of a German mother and a Belgian father, he had no particular love
-for the English.
-
-When the first British Tommy entered his shop and asked for bread, old
-Beduys looked him over as a butcher eyes a lamb led to the slaughter.
-He was calculating the weight in sous and francs.
-
-That night Beduys laid down the law to his family.
-
-“The girls will all buy new clothes,” he said, “for which I shall
-pay. They will make themselves agreeable to the English mercenaries,
-but”--with a snap of his blue eyes--“nothing more. The good God has
-sent us a harvest to reap; I say we shall reap it.”
-
-During the six months that followed the little shop behind the church
-teemed with life. The Beduys girls were glad enough to find men to
-talk to for the linguistic difficulty was soon overcome--to flirt with
-mildly, and in front of whom to show off their newly-acquired finery.
-From morn till dewy eve the shop was crowded, and occasionally an
-officer or two would dine in the back parlour, kiss Martha if they felt
-like it, and not worry much over a few sous change.
-
-In the meantime old Hans waxed financially fat, bought a new Sunday
-suit, worked the life out of his girls, and prayed nightly that the
-Canadians would arrive in the vicinity of his particular “Somewhere in
-Belgium.”
-
-In a little while they came.
-
-Blossoming forth like a vine well fertilised at the roots, the little
-shop became more and more pretentious as the weekly turnover increased.
-Any day that the receipts fell below a certain level old Beduys raised
-such a storm that his bevy of daughters redoubled their efforts.
-
-Martha had become an enthusiastic business woman. Her fair head with
-its golden curls was bent for many hours in the day over a crude
-kind of ledger, and she thought in terms of pickles, canned fruits,
-chocolate, and cigarettes. The spirit of commerce had bitten deep into
-Martha’s soul.
-
-More and more officers held impromptu dinners in the back parlour.
-Martha knew most of them, but only one interested her. Had he not
-shown her the system of double entry, and how to balance her accounts?
-He was a commercial asset.
-
-As for Jefferson, it was a relief to him, after a tour in the trenches,
-to have an occasional chat with a moderately pretty girl.
-
-One rain-sodden, murky January night, very weary, wet, and muddy,
-Jefferson dropped in to see, as he would have put it, “the baker’s
-daughter.”
-
-Martha happened to be alone, and welcomed “Monsieur Jeff” beamingly.
-
-Perhaps the dim light of the one small lamp, perhaps his utter war
-weariness, induced Jefferson to overlook the coarseness of the girl’s
-skin, her ugly hands, and large feet. Perhaps Martha was looking
-unusually pretty.
-
-At all events he suddenly decided that she was desirable. Putting
-his arm around her waist as she brought him his coffee, he drew her,
-unresisting, on to his knee. Then he kissed her.
-
-Heaven knows what possessed Martha that evening. She not only allowed
-his kisses, but returned them, stroking his curly hair with a
-tenderness that surprised herself as much as it surprised him.
-
-Thereafter Martha had two souls. A soul for business and a soul for
-Jefferson.
-
-The bleak winter rolled on and spring came.
-
-About the beginning of April old Beduys received, secretly, a letter
-from a relative in Frankfurt. The contents of the letter were such
-that the small pupils of the old man’s eyes dilated with fear. He hid
-the document away, and his temper for that day was execrable. That
-night he slept but little. Beduys lay in bed and pictured the sails of
-a windmill--HIS windmill--and he thought also of ten thousand francs
-and his own safety. He thought of the distance to the mill--a full two
-kilometres--and of the martial law which dictated, among other things,
-that he be in his home after a certain hour at night, and that his
-mill’s sails be set at a certain angle when at rest. Then he thought
-of Martha. Martha of the commercial mind. Martha the obedient. Yes!
-That was it, obedient! Hans Beduys rose from his bed softly, without
-disturbing his heavily-sleeping wife, and read and re-read his
-brother’s letter. One page he kept, and the rest he tore to shreds, and
-burned, bit by bit, in the candle flame.
-
-High up on the hill stood the windmill--the Beduys windmill. Far
-over in the German lines an Intelligence Officer peered at it in the
-gathering dusk through a night-glass. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the
-sails of the mill turned, and stopped for a full minute. Slowly, almost
-imperceptibly, they turned again, and stopped again. This happened
-perhaps twenty times. The German made some notes and went to the
-nearest signalling station.
-
-Five minutes later a salvo of great shells trundled, with a noise like
-distant express trains, over to the left of the mill.
-
-There were heavy casualties in a newly-arrived battalion bivouacked not
-half a mile from the baker’s shop. The inhabitants of the village awoke
-and trembled. “Hurrumph-umph!” Again the big shells trundled over the
-village, and again. There was confusion, and death and wounding.
-
-In his bed lay Hans Beduys, sweating from head to foot, while his brain
-hammered out with ever-increasing force: “Ten thousand francs--Ten
-Thousand Francs.”
-
-In the small hours a shadow disengaged itself from the old mill,
-cautiously. Then it began to run, and resolved itself into a woman.
-By little paths, by ditches, by side-tracks, Martha reached home. She
-panted heavily, her face was white and haggard. When she reached her
-room she flung herself on her bed, and lay there wide-eyed, dumb,
-horror-stricken, until the dawn broke.
-
-Jefferson’s Battalion finished a tour in the trenches on the following
-night. Jefferson marched back to billet with a resolve in his mind.
-He had happened to notice the windmill moving the night before, as he
-stood outside Company head-quarters in the trenches. He had heard the
-shells go over--away back--and had seen the sails move again. The two
-things connected themselves instantly in his mind. Perhaps he should
-have reported the matter at once, but Jefferson did not do so. He meant
-to investigate for himself.
-
-Two days later Jefferson got leave to spend the day in the nearest
-town. He returned early in the afternoon, put his revolver in the
-pocket of his British warm coat, and set out for the windmill. He did
-not know to whom the mill belonged, nor did that trouble him.
-
-An Artillery Brigade had parked near the village that morning.
-Jefferson got inside the mill without difficulty. It was a creaky,
-rat-haunted old place, and no one lived within half a mile of it.
-Poking about, he discovered nothing until his eyes happened to fall on
-a little medallion stuck between two boards on the floor.
-
-Picking it up, Jefferson recognised it as one of those little
-“miraculous medals” which he had seen strung on a light chain around
-Martha’s neck. He frowned thoughtfully, and put it in his pocket.
-
-He hid himself in a corner and waited. He waited so long that he fell
-asleep. The opening of the little wooden door of the mill roused him
-with a start. There was a long pause, and then the sound of footsteps
-coming up the wooden stairway which led to where Jefferson lay. The
-window in the mill-face reflected the dying glow of a perfect sunset,
-and the light in the mill was faint. He could hear the hum of a
-biplane’s engines as it hurried homeward, the day’s work done.
-
-A peaked cap rose above the level of the floor, followed by a stout,
-rubicund face. A Belgian gendarme.
-
-Jefferson fingered his revolver, and waited. The gendarme looked
-around, grunted, and disappeared down the steps again, closing the door
-that led into the mill with a bang. Jefferson sat up and rubbed his
-head.
-
-He did not quite understand.
-
-Perhaps ten minutes had passed when for the third time that night the
-door below was opened softly, closed as softly, and some one hurried up
-the steps.
-
-It was Martha. She had a shawl over her head and shoulders, and she was
-breathing quickly, with parted lips.
-
-Jefferson noiselessly dropped his revolver into his pocket again.
-
-With swift, sure movements, the girl began to set the machinery of the
-mill in motion. By glancing over to the window, Jefferson could see the
-sails move slowly--very, very slowly. Martha fumbled for a paper in her
-bosom, and, drawing it forth, scrutinised it tensely. Then she set
-the machinery in motion again. She had her back to him. Jefferson rose
-stealthily and took a step towards her. A board creaked and, starting
-nervously, the girl looked round.
-
-For a moment the two gazed at each other in dead silence.
-
-“Martha,” said Jefferson, “Martha!”
-
-There was a mixture of rage and reproach in his voice. Even as he spoke
-they heard the whine of shells overhead, and then four dull explosions.
-
-“Your work,” cried Jefferson thickly, taking a stride forward and
-seizing the speechless woman by the arm.
-
-Martha looked at him with a kind of dull terror in her eyes, with utter
-hopelessness, and the man paused a second. He had not known he cared
-for her so much. Then, in a flash, he pictured the horrors for which
-this woman, a mere common spy, was responsible.
-
-He made to grasp her more firmly, but she twisted herself from his
-hold. Darting to the device which freed the mill-sails, she wrenched at
-it madly. The sails caught in the breeze, and began to circle round,
-swiftly and more swiftly, until the old wooden building shook with the
-vibration.
-
- * * * * *
-
-From his observation post a German officer took in the new situation at
-a glance. A few guttural sounds he muttered, and then turning angrily
-to an orderly he gave him a curt message. “They shall not use it if we
-cannot,” he said to himself, shaking his fist in the direction of the
-whirring sails.
-
- * * * * *
-
-In the little village part of the church and the baker’s shop lay in
-ruins. Martha had sent but a part of her signal, and it had been acted
-upon with characteristic German promptitude.
-
-In the windmill on the hill, which shook crazily as the sails tore
-their way through the air, a man and a woman struggled desperately, the
-woman with almost superhuman strength.
-
-Suddenly the earth shook, a great explosion rent the air, and the mill
-on the hill was rent timber from timber and the great sails doubled up
-like tin-foil.
-
-“Good shooting,” said the German Forward Observation Officer, as he
-tucked his glass under his arm and went “home” to dinner.
-
-
-
-
-COURCELETTE
-
-
-“It was one of the nastiest jobs any battalion could be called on to
-perform; to my mind far more difficult than a big, sweeping advance.
-The First Battalion has been in the trenches eighteen days, on the
-march four days, and at rest one day, until now. No men could be asked
-to do more, and no men could do more than you have done. I congratulate
-you, most heartily.”
-
-In the above words, addressed to the men and officers of the First
-Canadian Infantry Battalion, Western Ontario Regiment, Major-General
-Currie made it plain to all that among the Honours of the First
-Battalion few will take higher place than that which will be inscribed
-“COURCELETTE.”
-
-On the night of September 20th, 1916, the First Battalion moved up from
-support to the firing-line, beyond the ruins of the above-mentioned
-little hamlet. For the past few days it had rained incessantly, and
-all ranks had been working night and day, in mud and slush, carrying
-material of all kinds to the front line. The men were soaked to the
-skin, caked with mud, and very weary, but they went “up-along” with
-an amazing cheeriness, for rumour had whispered that the regiment was
-to attack, and the men were in that frame of mind when the prospect
-of “getting their own back” appealed to them hugely. Although the
-enemy opened up an intense barrage during the relief, casualties
-were comparatively few, and by morning the First Battalion was,
-Micawber-like, “waiting for something to turn up.”
-
-Three companies, “A,” “B,” and “D,” held the front line, with
-“C” Company in close support. The positions were to the east of
-Courcelette, opposite a maze of German trenches which constituted a
-thorn in the side of the Corps and Army Commanders, and which had for
-several days checked the advance and were therefore a serious menace
-to future plans. Just how great was the necessity to capture this
-highly organised and strongly manned defensive system may be gauged
-by the letter received by the Commanding Officer from the Divisional
-Commander on the eve of the attack. In it the G.O.C. expressed his
-confidence in the ability of “The Good Old First” to capture the
-position, and to hold it, and he added that it _must_ be taken at all
-costs--“if the first attack fails, you must make a second.” On the
-capture of this strong point hung the fate of other operations on the
-grand scale.
-
-It was the key position, and it fell to the First Canadian Battalion to
-be honoured with the task of taking it.
-
-Until two and a half hours previous to the attack (when the Operation
-Order had been issued, and final instructions given), the latest _maps_
-of the German defences had been all the C.O. and his staff could work
-upon. Then, truly at the eleventh hour, an aerial _photograph_, taken
-but twenty-four hours before, was sent to Bn. Head-quarters with the
-least possible delay. This showed such increase in the enemy defences,
-and trenches in so much better shape to withstand attack, that the
-whole tactical situation was changed, and it became necessary not only
-to alter the operation order completely, but also to draw a map,
-showing the most recent German lines of defence. This was done.
-
-It is difficult to single out for praise any special portion of a
-regiment, or any member of it, especially when _all_ the units have
-been subjected to intense and violent bombardment prior to attack,
-not to mention the activities of numerous snipers. One Company alone
-lost half their effectives through the fire of a “whizz-bang” battery
-which completely enfiladed their position. The Battalion and Company
-runners cannot be too highly praised--they were the sole means of
-communication--and risked their lives hourly, passing through and over
-heavily-pounded trenches, and in and out of the village of Courcelette,
-which was subjected to “strafing” at all hours of the day and night,
-without cessation. Tribute is also due to the carrying parties, who
-took from beyond the Sugar Refinery, and through the village, bombs,
-ammunition, water, and rations, leaving at every trip their toll of
-dead and wounded.
-
-Zero hour was at 8.31 P.M., preceded for one minute by hurricane
-artillery fire. Previous to this the heavy guns had carried out a
-systematic bombardment of the German defences, yet, as was subsequently
-discovered, failing to do them great damage, and not touching the main
-fire trench at all.
-
-At 8.28½ P.M. the Germans suddenly opened with a murderous artillery
-and machine-gun fire along our front. They had by some means or other
-discovered that an attack was about to take place. At this time the
-assaulting waves were in position, “A” Coy. on the left flank, “D”
-Coy. in the centre, and “B” Coy. on the right flank, while a Battalion
-Reserve of eighteen men--five of whom became casualties three minutes
-later--waited for orders a little in rear. These men belonged to
-“C” Company, the major portion of which had already been sent to
-reinforce the front line. All our guns then opened up with an electric
-spontaneity. To such an extent that one charging company was forced
-to halt a full minute in No Man’s Land until the barrage lifted a few
-hundred yards in rear of the German lines, to catch their reserves
-coming up.
-
-Among the _Fragments from France_ there is a Bairnsfather picture
-entitled “We shall attack at Dawn” and “We do!” The situation much
-resembled it.
-
-One could hear nothing but the vicious “splack” of high explosive
-shrapnel, the deep “Krrumph” of 6-inch and 8.2’s, “coal-boxes” and
-“woolly bears”; great herds of shells whined and droned overhead, and
-now and then emerged from the tumult the coughing, venomous spit of
-machine-guns. One could see myriads of angrily-bursting yellow and
-orange-coloured flames, and all along the front dozens of green Verey
-lights, and red, as the Germans called frantically on their artillery,
-and at the same time showed that some of their own batteries were
-firing short (a thing which always gives great joy to all ranks). Now
-and then a deeper series of booms announced a bombing battle, and the
-air was heavy with the odour of picric fumes and thick with smoke.
-
-On the left flank “A” Coy. met with stubborn opposition. Four
-machine-guns opened on their first wave, cutting it to pieces, as
-it was enfiladed from the flanks. The Company reformed at once, and
-charged again. This time they were met by a heavy counter-attack in
-force. In the cold words of official phraseology, “This opposition was
-overcome.” It was here that two very gallant officers were lost--Lieut.
-B. T. Nevitt and Major F. E. Aytoun--while leading their men. The
-last seen of Lieut. Nevitt, he was lying half in and half out of a
-shell-hole, firing his revolver at the enemy who were almost on top of
-him, and calling to his men to come on. Major Aytoun’s last words were,
-“Carry on, men!”
-
-“B” Coy., on the left flank, met with little opposition, attained the
-whole of their objective, and established communication by patrol
-with the troops on their right flank, a difficult operation. Here
-Lieut. Unwin, a splendid young officer, laid down his life, and
-Lieut. MacCuddy, who had carried on in the most exemplary manner, was
-mortally wounded. This Company captured a German Adjutant from whom
-much valuable information was obtained. Thoroughly demoralised, his
-first words were: “Take me out of this, and I will tell you anything,
-but anything.” On this German’s reaching head-quarters he amused every
-one by saying: “I come me to the West front September 22nd, 1914, as
-a German officer. I go me from the West front September 22nd, 1916,
-Heaven be thanked, as a German prisoner. For me the war is over,
-hurrah!”
-
-In the centre “D” Coy. also attained their objective and captured a
-trophy, in the shape of a Vickers gun (which had been converted to
-German usage). This gun was taken by Lieut. J. L. Youngs, M.C., who
-bombed the crew, which thereon beat a hasty retreat, leaving half their
-number killed and wounded. This was one of the best pieces of work done
-individually in this action. Major W. N. Ashplant was wounded here, at
-the head of his men, and is now missing, and believed killed.
-
-Bombing posts were thrown out at once, and manned by Battalion and
-Company bombers, who, time and again, repulsed German bombing attacks.
-“A” Coy. linked up with “D” and “D” Coy. with “B,” while the Lewis gun
-sections worked admirably, but one gun being lost, despite the heavy
-artillery fire. The whole line was at once consolidated. Hundreds of
-German bombs, Verey lights and pistols, many rifles, and quantities of
-ammunition were captured, and also forty prisoners, the great majority
-of whom were unwounded.
-
-“C” Coy.’s reserve was almost immediately used up, a company of the 4th
-Bn. coming up in support, at the request of the Commanding Officer of
-the First Battalion.
-
-“Your attack was so vicious,” declared a prisoner, “that no troops
-could withstand it.”
-
-“Too good troops”--this from a tall, fair member of the Prussian
-Guard--“better than we are!”
-
-The Germans opposed to the First Battalion were picked troops, among
-whom the iron-cross had been freely distributed.
-
-On capturing this network of enemy lines to the east of Courcelette,
-the First Battalion discovered that what was at first deemed a small
-stronghold, was in reality a formidable position, held by the enemy in
-large numbers. Not only was there a deep, fire-stepped main trench, in
-which they had dug many “funk-holes,” but also a series of support and
-communication trenches, and numerous bombing posts.
-
-During the thirty hours following the capture of this ground, numerous
-counter-attacks took place, all of which were repulsed with heavy enemy
-losses. Bombing actions were frequent along the whole line, and at
-least two attacks were made in force.
-
-A small post, held by two men, on the right flank of “D” Coy., to
-communicate with “B,” accounted for six Germans in the following
-manner: Early in the morning six of the enemy advanced with their hands
-up. Our men watched them closely, albeit they called out “Kamerad” and
-were apparently unarmed. The foremost suddenly dropped his hands and
-threw a bomb. Our men thereupon “went to it” and killed three of the
-Germans, wounding the remainder with rifle fire as they ran back to
-their own lines.
-
-At dusk on the 23rd the Germans tried another ruse before attempting
-an attack in force. Two of them were sent out, calling “Mercy, mercy,
-Kamerad,” and as usual with their hands up, and no equipment. But the
-officer in charge saw a number of Germans advancing behind them, and at
-once ordered heavy rifle and machine-gun fire to be opened on them.
-This, and bombs, resulted in the attack being broken up completely. “B”
-Coy. dispersed several bombing attacks, and “A” Coy. broke up a heavy
-attack, as well as bombing attacks. Fog at times rendered the position
-favourable for the enemy, but not one inch of ground was lost.
-
-Every man of the fighting forces of the First Battalion was engaged
-in this action, and much valuable assistance during consolidation and
-counter-attack was rendered by the Company of the Fourth Battalion sent
-up to support. For over thirty hours after the assault the regiment
-held on, heavy fog rendering relief in the early hours of the 24th
-a difficult undertaking, all the more so in view of the intense and
-long-continued barrage opened by the enemy during the hours of relief.
-In fact, during the whole tour of the First Canadian Battalion in the
-Courcelette sector, the regiment was subjected to intense and incessant
-fire.
-
-When the remainder of the First Battalion marched out to rest, with Hun
-helmets and other souvenirs hanging to their kits, they marched with
-the pride of men who knew they had done their bit.
-
-The Corps Commander rode over to congratulate the Commanding Officer
-and the regiment, and such terms were used from the Highest Command
-downwards that the “Old First” knows and is proud of the fact, that
-another laurel has been added to the wreaths of the battalion, the
-brigade, the division, and the Canadian Army.
-
-We have but one sorrow, one deep regret, and that is for Our Heroic
-Dead.
-
-
-
-
-CARNAGE
-
-
-There is a little valley somewhere among the rolling hills of the Somme
-district wherein the sun never shines. It is a tiny little valley, once
-part of a not unattractive landscape, now a place of horror.
-
-Half a dozen skeletons of trees, rotting and torn, fringe the southern
-bank, and the remnants of a sunken road curve beneath the swelling
-hill that shields the valley from the sun. Flowers may have grown
-there once, children may have played under the then pleasant green of
-the trees; one can even picture some dark-eyed, black-haired maid of
-Picardy, sallying forth from the little hamlet not far off with her
-milking-stool and pail, to milk the family cow in the cool shade of the
-trees and the steep above.
-
-But that was long ago--at least, it seems as though it _must_ have been
-long ago--for to-day the place is a shambles, a valley of Death. Those
-who speak of the glory of war, of the wonderful dashing charges, the
-inspiring mighty roar of cannon--let them come to this spot and look on
-this one small corner of a great battle-field. Within plain view are
-villages that will have a place in history--piles of broken brick and
-crushed mortar that bear silent, eloquent testimony to the Kultur of
-the twentieth century. Round about the land is just a series of tiny
-craters, fitted more closely together than the scars on the face of a
-man who has survived a severe attack of small-pox; and here and there,
-scattered, still lie the dead. No blade of grass dare raise its sheath
-above ground, for the land is sown with steel and iron and lead, and
-the wreckage and wrack and ruin of the most bitter strife.
-
-Even those who have seen such things for many months past pause
-involuntarily when they reach this valley of the shadow. It is a
-revelation of desolation--the inner temple of death. In that little
-space, perhaps three hundred feet long and a bare forty wide, lie the
-bodies of nearly a hundred men, friend and foe, whose souls have gone
-on to the happy hunting ground amid circumstances of which no tongue
-could give a fitting account, no pen a fitting description.
-
-Once a German stronghold, this place passed into our hands but a short
-while since. Two guns were tucked away in under the hill, and the
-infantry, suddenly ejected from their forward position, fell back on
-them, and taking advantage of a pause strengthened their position, and
-brought up reinforcements. Thereupon our guns concentrated on them
-with fearful results, although when the infantry swept forward, there
-were still enough men in the deep, half-filled in trench to put up a
-desperate resistance.
-
-It is not difficult to read the story of that early morning struggle.
-The land is churned in all directions, two of the bigger trees have
-fallen, and now spread out gnarled branches above the remnants of some
-artillery dugouts. Pools of water, thick glutinous mud--both are tinged
-in many spots a dark red-brown--and portions of what were once men, lie
-scattered around in dreadful evidence.
-
-But for his pallor, one might think that man yonder is still living. He
-is sitting in an easy attitude, leaning forward, one hand idle in his
-lap, his rifle against his knee, and with the other hand raised to his
-cheek as though he were brushing off a fly. But his glassy eyes stare,
-and his face is bloodless and grey, while a large hole in his chest
-shows where the enemy shrapnel smote him.
-
-Corpses of dead Germans are piled, in places, one over the other, some
-showing terrible gaping wounds, some headless, some stripped of all
-or part of their clothing, by the terrific explosion of a great shell
-which rent their garments from them. In more than one place old graves
-have been blown sky-high, and huddled skeletons, still clad in the rags
-of a uniform, lie stark under the open sky.
-
-Papers, kits, water-bottles, rifles, helmets, bayonets, smoke goggles,
-rations, and ammunition are scattered everywhere in confusion. Some
-of the _débris_ is battered to bits, some in perfect condition.
-Shell-cases, shell-noses, and shrapnel pellets lie everywhere, and
-there arises from the ground that peculiar, terrible odour of blood,
-bandages, and death, an odour always dreaded and never to be forgotten.
-In one German dug-out three men were killed as they lay, and sat,
-sleeping. Some one has put a sock over their faces; it were best to let
-it remain there. Yonder, a Canadian and a German lie one on top of the
-other, both clutching their rifles with the bayonets affixed to them,
-one with a bayonet thrust through his stomach, the other with a bullet
-through his eye.
-
-At night the very lights shine reluctant over the scene, but the moon
-beams impassive on the dead. Burial parties work almost silently,
-speaking in whispers, and, shocking anomaly, one now and then hears
-some trophy hunter declare, “Say, this is some souvenir, look at this
-‘Gott mit Uns’ buckle!”
-
-
-
-
-“A” COMPANY RUSTLES
-
-
-When we got into the bally place it was raining in torrents, and the
-air was also pure purple because the Colonel found some one in his old
-billet, and the Town-Major, a cantankerous old dug-out who seemed to
-exist chiefly for the purpose of annoying men who did go into the front
-line, was about as helpful as the fifth wheel to a wagon. Finally,
-the Colonel shot out of his office like an eighteen-pounder from a
-whizz-bang battery, and later on the tattered remnants of our once
-proud and haughty Adjutant announced to us, in the tones of a dove who
-has lost his mate, that there were no billets for us at all, and that
-officers and men would have to bivouac by the river.
-
-Under all circumstances the Major is cheerful--and he has a very
-clear idea of when it is permissible to go around an order. Also the
-Town-Major invariably has the same effect on him as such an unwelcome
-visitor as a skunk at a garden-party would have on the garden-party.
-Having consigned the aforesaid T.-M. to perdition in Canadian, English,
-French, and Doukhobor, he said: “We are going to have billets for
-the men, and we are going to have billets for ourselves.” That quite
-settled the matter, as far as we Company officers were concerned. In
-the course of the next half-hour we had swiped an empty street and a
-half for the men, and put them into it, and then we gathered together,
-seven strong, and proceeded to hunt for our own quarters.
-
-There is a very strongly developed scouting instinct among the
-Canadian forces in the Field. Moreover, we are not overawed by outward
-appearances. In the centre of the town we found a château; and an hour
-later we were lunching there comfortably ensconed in three-legged
-arm-chairs, with a real bowl of real flowers on the table, and certain
-oddments of cut-glass (found gleefully by the batmen) reflecting the
-bubbling vintage of the house of Moët et Chandon. Our dining-hall
-was about sixty feet by twenty, and we each had a bedroom of
-proportionate size, with a bed of sorts in it. Moreover, the place was
-most wonderfully clean--it might almost have been prepared for us--and
-McFinnigan, our cook, was in the seventh heaven of delight because he
-had found a real stove with an oven.
-
-“I cannot understand,” said the Major, “how it is no one is in this
-place. It’s good enough for a Divisional Commander.”
-
-There was actually a bath in the place with water running in the taps.
-Jones, always something of a pessimist, shook his head when he saw the
-bath.
-
-“Look here, all you boys,” he said, “this is no place for us. There is
-an unwritten law in this outfit that no man, unless he wears red and
-gold things plastered all over his person, shall have more than one
-bath in one month. Now _I_ had one three weeks ago, and I am still----
-but why dwell on it?”
-
-Needless to say he was ruled out of order.
-
-Just to show our darned independence, we decided to invite most of
-the other officers of the battalion to dinner that evening, “plenty
-much swank” and all that kind of thing. Would that we had thought
-better of it. Of course we eventually decided to make a real banquet
-of it, appointed a regular mess committee, went and saw the Paymaster,
-and sent orderlies dashing madly forth to buy up all the liqueurs,
-Scotch, soda, and other potations that make glad the heart of man. We
-arranged for a four-course dinner, paraded the batmen and distributed
-back-sheesh and forcible addresses on the subjects of table-laying and
-how to balance the soup and unplop the bubbly.
-
-Nobody came near us at all. As far as the Town-Major was concerned we
-might have been in Kamtchatka. The Major had gone to the C.O. (_after_
-lunch) and told him we had “found a little place to shelter in,” and
-as the latter had written a particularly biting, satirical, not to
-say hectic note to the Brigadier on the subject of the Town-Major’s
-villainy, and was therefore feeling better, he just told the Major to
-carry on, and did not worry about us in the least.
-
-Nineteen of us--Majors, Captains, and “Loots”--sat down to dinner. It
-was a good dinner, the batmen performed prodigies of waitership; the
-wine bubbled and frothed, frothed and bubbled, and we all bubbled too.
-It was a red-letter night. After about the seventeenth speech, in which
-the Doc. got a little mixed concerning the relationship of Bacchus and
-a small statue of the Venus de Milo which adorned one corner of the
-room, some one called for a song. It was then about 11 “pip emma.”
-
-We were in the midst of what the P.M. called a little “Close
-Harmony”--singing as Caruso and McCormack NEVER sang--when we heard the
-sound of feet in the passage, feet that clanked and clunk--feet with
-spurs on.
-
-A hush fell over us, an expectant hush. The door opened, without
-the ceremony of a knock, and in walked not any of your common or
-garden Brigadiers, not even a Major-General, but a fully-fledged
-Lieutenant-General, followed by his staff, and the Town-Major.
-
-In our regiment we have always prided ourselves on the fact that we can
-carry on anywhere and under any circumstances. But this fell night our
-untarnished record came very near to disaster. It was as though Zeus
-had appeared at a Roman banquet being held in his most sacred grove.
-
-The General advanced three paces and halted. Those of us who were able
-to do so got up. Those who could not rise remained seated. The silence
-was not only painful, it was oppressive. A steel-grey, generalistic
-eye slowly travelled through each one of us, up and down the table,
-unadorned with the remnants of many bottles, the half-finished glasses
-of many drinks. Just then the Town-Major took a step forward; he was a
-palish green, with an under-tinge of yellow.
-
-“WHAT is the meaning of----” said the General, in a voice tinged with
-the iciest breath of the far distant Pole, but he got no further.
-
-There was a sudden rending, ear-splitting roar, the lights went out,
-the walls of the château seemed to sway, and the plaster fell in great
-lumps from the frescoed ceiling.
-
-That (as we afterwards discovered) no one was hurt was a marvel. It is
-the one and only time when we of this regiment have thanked Fritz for
-shelling us. In the pale light of early dawn the last member of the
-party slunk into the bivouac ground. The General, where was he? We knew
-not, neither did we care.
-
-But it was the first and last time that “A” Company rustled a Corps
-Commander’s Château!
-
-
-
-
-“MINNIE AND ‘FAMILY’”
-
-
-When first I met her it was a lush, lovely day in June; the birds were
-singing, the grass was green, the earth teemed with life, vegetable and
-animal, and the froglets hopped around in the communication trenches.
-Some cheery optimist was whistling “Down by the Old Mill Stream,” and
-another equally cheery individual was potting German sniping plates
-with an accuracy worthy of a better cause. It was, in sooth, “A quiet
-day on the Western Front.”
-
-And then _she_ came. Stealing towards me silently, coming upon me like
-a brigand in the leafy woods. I did not see her ere she was descending
-upon me, but others did. There came distant yells, which I failed
-to interpret for a moment; then, glancing upward, I saw her bobbing
-through the air, her one leg waving, her round ugly head a blot on
-the sky’s fair face. The next thing that happened was that the trench
-gathered unto itself wings, rose and clasped me lovingly from the neck
-down in a cold, earthy embrace, the while the air was rent with an
-ear-splitting roar, like unto a battery of 17-inch naval guns firing a
-salvo. After that I respected Minnie; I feared her--nay, I was deadly
-scared of her.
-
-Of all the nasty things “old Fritz” has invented, the Minenflamm
-is perhaps the nastiest of all. She is purely vicious, utterly
-destructive, and quite frightful. The very slowness with which she
-sails through the air is in itself awe-inspiring. I never see Minnie
-without longing for home, or the inside of the deepest German dug-out
-ever digged by those hard-working German Pioneer blighters, who must
-all have been moles in their respective pre-incarnations. Minnie
-reminds one of Mrs. Patrick Campbell in _The Second Mrs. Tangueray_:
-all fire and flame and perdition generally.
-
-If you are a very wide-awake Johnny, absolutely on the spot,
-don’t-you-know--you may hear her sigh ere she leaves the (temporary)
-Vaterland to take flight. It is a gentle sigh, which those
-verblitzender English artillery-men are not meant to hear. If you _do_
-happen by chance to hear it, then the only thing to do, although it is
-not laid down in K. R. & O. or Divisional Orders (you see they only
-_hear_ about these things), is to silently steal away; to seek the
-seclusion which your dug-out grants. Later, if you are a new officer,
-and want to impress the natives, as it were, you saunter jauntily
-forth, cigarette at the correct slope, cane pending vertically from the
-right hand, grasped firmly in the palm, little finger downwards, cap at
-an angle of 45°, and say: “Minnie, by Jove! Eh what? God bless my soul.
-Did it fall over heah or over theah?” Which is a sure way of making
-yourself really popular.
-
-Fortunately Minnie has her dull days. Days when she positively refuses
-to bust, and sulks, figuratively speaking, in silent wrath and
-bitterness on the upper strata of “sunny” France, or Belgium, as the
-case may be. After many Agags have trodden very delicately around her,
-and she has proved incurably sulky and poor-spirited, some one infused
-with the Souvenir spirit carts her away, and pounds her softly with a
-cold-chisel and a mallet, until he has either dissected her interior
-economy, or else she has segmented _his_.
-
-Minnie has her little family. The eldest male child is called by the
-euphonious name of Sausage, and he has brothers of various sizes, from
-the pure-blood Hoch-geboren down to the bourgeois little chap who
-makes an awful lot of fuss and clatter generally. I remember meeting
-little Hans one day, about the dinner hour, when he was a very naughty
-boy indeed. The Company was waiting to get a half-canteenful of the
-tannin-cum-tea-leaves, called “tea” on the Western front (contained in
-one large dixie placed in a fairly open spot in the front line), when
-suddenly little Hans poked his blunt nose into the air, and all notions
-of tea-drinking were banished _pro tem_. In other words, the Company
-took cover automatically, as it were, without awaiting any word of
-command. Personally I tripped over a bath-mat, came into close contact
-with an old shell-hole full of mud, and offered up a little prayer in
-the record time of one-fifth of a second. Instead of entering Nirvana
-I only heard a resounding splash, followed by a sizzling sound, like
-that made by an exhausted locomotive. Little Hans had fallen into the
-dixie, and positively refused to explode. I think the tannin (or the
-tea leaves) choked him!
-
-There is also an infant--a female infant--who deserves mention. Her
-name is Rifle-grenade, and, according to the very latest communication
-from official sources, the gentleman who states with some emphasis
-that he is divinely kingly, refuses to sanction any further production
-of her species. Like many females she is one perpetual note of
-interrogation. She starts on her wayward course thus: “Whrr-on?
-Whrr-oo? Whoo? Whoo? Whe-oo? Whe-_oo_?” And then she goes off with
-a bang, just as Cleopatra may have done when Antony marked a pretty
-hand-maid.
-
-To sum up: Minnie and her children are undoubtedly the product of
-perverted science and Kultur, aided and abetted by the very Devil!
-
-
-
-
-AN OFFICER AND GENTLEMAN
-
-
-He was a tall well-built chap, with big, blue eyes, set far apart, and
-dark wavy hair, which he kept too closely cropped to allow it to curl,
-as was meant by nature. He had a cheery smile and a joke for every one,
-and his men loved him. More than that, they respected him thoroughly,
-for he never tolerated slackness or lack of discipline for an instant,
-and the lips under the little bronze moustache could pull themselves
-into an uncompromisingly straight line when he was justly angry.
-
-When he strafed the men, he did it directly, without sparing them or
-their failings, but he never sneered at them, and his direct hits were
-so patently honest that they realised it at once, and felt and looked
-rather like penitent little boys.
-
-He never asked an N.C.O. or man to do anything he would not do himself,
-and he usually did it first. If there was a dangerous patrol, he
-led. If there was trying work to do, under fire, he stayed in the
-most dangerous position, and helped. He exacted instant obedience
-to orders, but never gave an order that the men could not understand
-without explaining the reason for it. He showed his N.C.O.’s that he
-had confidence in them, and did not need to ask for their confidence in
-him. He had it.
-
-In the trenches he saw to his men’s comfort first--his own was a
-secondary consideration. If a man was killed or wounded, he was
-generally on the spot before the stretcher-bearers, and, not once, but
-many times, he took a dying man’s last messages, and faithfully wrote
-to his relations. A sacred duty, but one that wrung his withers. He
-went into action not only _with_ his men, but at their head, and he
-fought like a young lion until the objective was attained. Then, he
-was one of the first to bind up a prisoner’s wounds, and to check any
-severity towards unwounded prisoners. He went into a show with his
-revolver in one hand, a little cane in the other, a cigarette between
-his lips.
-
-“You see,” he would explain, “it comforts a fellow to smoke, and the
-stick is useful, and a good tonic for the men. Besides, it helps me
-try to kid myself I’m not scared--and I _am_, you know! As much as any
-one could be.”
-
-On parade he was undoubtedly the smartest officer in the regiment, and
-he worked like a Trojan to make his men smart also. At the same time
-he would devote three-quarters of any leisure he had to training his
-men in the essentials of modern warfare, his spare time being willingly
-sacrificed for their benefit.
-
-No man was ever paraded before him with a genuine grievance that he did
-not endeavour to rectify. In some manner he would, nine times out of
-ten, turn a “hard case” into a good soldier. One of his greatest powers
-was his particularly winning smile. When his honest eyes were on you,
-when his lips curved and two faint dimples showed in his cheeks, it was
-impossible not to like him. Even those who envied him--and among his
-brother officers there were not a few--could not bring themselves to
-say anything against him.
-
-If he had a failing it was a weakness for pretty women, but his manner
-towards an old peasant woman, even though she was dirty and hideous,
-was, if anything, more courteous than towards a woman of his own class.
-He could not bear to see them doing work for which he considered they
-were unfit. One day he carried a huge washing-basket full of clothes
-down the main street of a little village in Picardy, through a throng
-of soldiers, rather than see the poor old dame he had met staggering
-under her burden go a step farther unaided.
-
-The Colonel happened to see him, and spoke to him rather sharply about
-it. His answer was characteristic: “I’m very sorry, sir. I forgot about
-what the men might think when I saw the poor old creature. In fact,
-sir, if you’ll pardon my saying so, I would not mind much if they did
-make fun of it.”
-
-He loved children. He never had any loose coppers or small change
-long, and two of his comrades surprised him on one occasion slipping a
-five-franc note into the crinkled rosy palm of a very, very new baby.
-“He looked so jolly cute asleep,” he explained simply.
-
-Almost all his fellow-officers owed him money. He was a poor financier,
-and when he had a cent it belonged to whoever was in need of it at the
-time.
-
-One morning at dawn, he led a little patrol to examine some new work in
-the German front line. He encountered an unsuspected enemy listening
-post, and he shot two of the three Germans, but the remaining German
-killed him before his men could prevent it. They brought his body back
-and he was given a soldier’s grave between the trenches. There he lies
-with many another warrior, taking his rest, while his comrades mourn
-the loss of a fine soldier and gallant gentleman.
-
-
-
-
-“S.R.D.”
-
-
-When the days shorten, and the rain never ceases; when the sky is ever
-grey, the nights chill, and the trenches thigh deep in mud and water;
-when the front is altogether a beastly place, in fact, we have one
-consolation. It comes in gallon jars, marked simply “S.R.D.” It does
-not matter how wearied the ration party may be, or how many sacks of
-coke, biscuits, or other rations may be left by the wayside, the rum
-always arrives.
-
-Once, very long ago, one of a new draft broke a bottle on the way up
-to Coy. H.Q. (The rum, by the way, _always_ goes to Coy. H.Q.) For a
-week his life was not worth living. The only thing that saved him from
-annihilation was the odour of S.R.D., which clung to him for days. The
-men would take a whiff before going on a working-party, and on any
-occasion when they felt low and depressed.
-
-There are those who would deny Tommy his three spoonfuls of rum in the
-trenches; those who declare that a man soaked to the skin, covered
-with mud, and bitterly cold, is better with a cayenne pepper lozenge.
-Let such people take any ordinary night of sentry duty on the Western
-front in mid-winter, and their ideas will change. There are not one,
-but numberless occasions, on which a tot of rum has saved a man from
-sickness, possibly from a serious illness. Many a life-long teetotaler
-has conformed to S.R.D. and taken the first drink of his life on the
-battle-fields of France, not because he wanted to, but because he
-had to. Only those who have suffered from bitter cold and wet, only
-those who have been actually “all-in” know what a debt of gratitude is
-owing to those wise men who ordered a small ration of rum for every
-soldier--officer, N.C.O., and man--on the Western front in winter.
-
-The effect of rum is wonderful, morally as well as physically. In
-the pelting rain, through acres of mud, a working-party of fifty men
-plough their weary way to the Engineers’ dump, and get shovels and
-picks. In single file they trudge several kilometres to the work
-in hand, possibly the clearing out of a fallen-in trench, which
-is mud literally to the knees. They work in the mud, slosh, and
-rain, for at least four hours. Four hours of misery--during which
-any self-respecting Italian labourer would lose his job rather than
-work--and then they traipse back again to a damp, musty billet, distant
-five or six kilometres. To them, that little tot of rum is not simply
-alcohol. It is a God-send. Promise it to them before they set out, and
-those men will work like Trojans. Deny it to them, and more than half
-will parade sick in the morning.
-
-It is no use, if the rum ration is short, to water it down. The men
-know it is watered, and their remarks are “frequent and painful, and
-free!” Woe betide the officer who, through innocence or intentionally,
-looks too freely on the rum when it is brown! His reputation is gone
-for ever. If he became intoxicated on beer, champagne, or whisky, he
-would only be envied by the majority of his men, but should he drink
-too much rum--that is an unpardonable offence!
-
-As a rule, one of the hardest things in the world to do is to awaken
-men once they have gone to sleep at night. For no matter what purpose,
-it will take a company a good half-hour to pull itself together and
-stand to. But murmur softly to the orderly Sergeant that there will be
-a rum issue in ten minutes, and though it be 1 A.M. or the darkest hour
-before dawn, when the roll is called hardly a man will be absent! That
-little word of three letters will rouse the most soporific from their
-stupor!
-
-Few men take their rum in the same fashion or with the same expression.
-The new draft look at it coyly, carry the cup gingerly to their lips,
-smell it, make a desperate resolution, gulp it down, and cough for five
-minutes afterwards. The old hands--the men of rubicund countenance and
-noses of a doubtful hue--grasp the cup, look to see if the issue is a
-full one, raise it swiftly, and drain it without a moment’s hesitation,
-smacking their lips. You can see the man who was up for being drunk
-the last pay-day coming from afar for his rum. His eyes glisten, his
-face shines with hopefulness, and his whole manner is one of supreme
-expectation and content.
-
-It is strange how frequently the company staff, from the
-Sergeant-Major down to the most recently procured batman, find it
-necessary to enter the inner sanctum of H.Q. after the rum has come.
-The Sergeant-Major arrives with a large, sweet smile, acting as guard
-of honour. “Rum up, sir.” “Thank you, Sergeant-Major.” “I’ve detailed
-that working-party, sir.” “Thank you, Sergeant-Major.” “Is that all,
-sir?” “Yes, thank you, Sergeant-Major.” He vanishes, to reappear a
-minute later. “Did you CALL me, sir?” “No” ... long pause ... “Oh!
-Still there? Er, have a drink, Sergeant-Major?” “Well, sir, I guess I
-_could_ manage a little drop! Thank you, sir. _Good_-night, sir!”
-
-
-
-
-BEDS
-
-
-“Think of my leave coming in two weeks, and of getting a decent bed to
-sleep in, with sheets!”
-
-Sancho Panza blessed sleep, but perhaps he always had a good bed to
-sleep in; we, who can almost slumber on “apron” wire, have a weakness
-for good beds.
-
-To appreciate fully what a good bed is, one must live for a time
-without one, and go to rest wrapped in a martial cloak--to wit a
-British warm or a trench coat, plus the universal sand-bag, than which
-nothing more generally useful has been seen in this war. Any man who
-has spent six months (in the infantry) at the front knows all about
-beds. Any man with a year’s service is a first-class, a number one,
-connoisseur. The good bed is so rare that whoever spends a night in one
-talks about it for a week, and brings it up in reminiscences over the
-charcoal brazier.
-
-“You remember when we were on the long hike from the salient? And the
-little place we struck the third night--Cattelle-Villeul I think it
-was called? By George, I had a good bed. A peach! It had a spring
-mattress and real linen sheets--not cotton--and two pillows with frilly
-things on them, and a ripping quilt, with a top-hole eider-down. I was
-afraid to get into it until my batman produced that new pair of green
-pyjamas with the pink stripes. It simply hurt to give that bed up!”
-
-And if you let him he will continue in like vein for half an hour.
-Recollections of that bed have entered into his soul; it is one of the
-bright spots in a gloomy life.
-
-Needless to say, the farther you go back from the line, the better the
-beds. They can be roughly classified as follows: Battle beds. Front
-line beds. Support beds. Reserve beds. Divisional rest beds. Corps
-reserve beds, and Army Reserve beds. Beyond this it is fifty-fifty you
-will get a good bed, provided there are not too many troops in the
-place you go to.
-
-Battle beds, as such, are reserved for battalion commanders, seconds
-in command, and adjutants. Sometimes Os.C. units have a look-in, but
-the humble sub. has _not_, unless he is one of those Johnnies who can
-always make something out of nothing.
-
-When there is a “show” on nobody expects to sleep more than two hours
-in twenty-four, and he’s lucky if he gets that. The C.O. takes his
-brief slumber on some bare boards raised above the floor-level in a
-dug-out. The Os.C. units use a stretcher, with a cape for a pillow, and
-the others sleep any old where--on a broken chair, in a corner on the
-ground, on the steps of a dug-out, on the fire-step of a parapet, or
-even leaning against the parapet. One of the best snoozes we ever had
-was of the last variety, while Fritz was plastering the communication
-trenches with a barrage a mouse could not creep through.
-
-There is one thing about battle beds; one is far too weary to do
-anything but flop limply down, and go instantly to sleep. The nature
-of your couch is of secondary importance. Possibly the prize goes to
-the man who slept through an intense bombardment, curled up between two
-dead Germans, whom he thought were a couple of his pals, asleep, when
-he tumbled in to rest.
-
-Front line beds vary according to sector. Usually they are simply a
-series of bunks, tucked in one above the other as in a steamer-cabin,
-and made of a stretch of green canvas nailed to a pair of two by fours.
-Sometimes an ingenious blighter introduces expanded metal or chicken
-wire into the general make-up, with the invariable result that it gets
-broken by some 200-pounder, and remains a menace to tender portions
-of the human frame until some one gets “real wild” and smashes up the
-whole concern.
-
-In support, the “downy couch” does not improve very much. Sometimes it
-is worse, and it is always inhabited by a fauna of the largest and most
-voracious kind.
-
-There is a large element of chance as to reserve beds. They are
-generally snares of disillusionment, but once in a while the
-connoisseur strikes oil. It will not have sheets--clean sheets, at
-all events--but it may possess the odd blanket, and the room may have
-been cleaned a couple of weeks ago. If Madame is clean the bed will be
-clean; if otherwise, otherwise also.
-
-All the beds at the front are the same in some respects. They are all
-wooden, and they nearly all have on them huge piles of mattresses,
-four or five deep. It is wisest not to investigate too thoroughly the
-inner consciousnesses of the latter, or the awakening may be rude. In
-the old days, long, long ago, when the dove of Peace billed and cooed
-over the roof of the world, no self-respecting citizen would sleep in
-them, but now with what joy do we sink with a sigh of relief into the
-once abominated feather-bed of doubtful antecedents, which has been
-slept in for two years by one officer after another, and never, never,
-never been aired.
-
-C’est la guerre!
-
-Divisional rest beds are at least two points superior to the last. They
-are the kind of beds run by a sixth-rate lodging-house in Bloomsbury,
-taken on the whole. Usually there is one bed short per unit, so some
-one has to double up, with the result that the stronger of the twain
-wraps _all_ the bed-clothes around him, and the other chap does not
-sleep at all, or is ignominiously rolled out on to the brick _pavé_.
-
-Every one in French villages must go to bed with their stockings on.
-
-Judging by the permanent kinks in all the beds, they must have been
-beds _solitaire_ for a life-time, before the soldiers came.
-
-Once we were asked to share a bed with _bébé_, who was three. We
-refused. On another occasion, when we were very tired indeed, we were
-told that the only bed available was that usually dwelt in by “Jeanne.”
-We inspected it, and made a peaceful occupation. “Jeanne” came home
-unexpectedly at midnight, and slipped indoors quietly to her room. It
-was a bad quarter of an hour, never to be forgotten! Especially when
-we found out in the morning that “Jeanne” was twenty years old, and
-decidedly pretty. Our reputation in that household was a minus quantity.
-
-In corps reserve one gets beds with coffee in the morning at 7 A.M.
-“Votre café, M’sieu.” “Oui, oui, mercy; leave it outside the door--la
-porte--please!” “Voiçi, M’sieu! Vous avez bien dormi?” And of course
-you can’t say anything, even if Madame stands by the pillow and tells
-you the whole story of how Yvonne makes the coffee!
-
-They are fearless, these French women!
-
-
-
-
-MARCHING
-
-
-We have left the statue of the Virgin Mary which pends horizontally
-over the Rue de Bapaume far behind us and the great bivouacs, and the
-shell-pitted soil of the Somme front. Only at night can we see the
-flickering glare to the southward, and the ceaseless drum of the guns
-back yonder is like the drone of a swarm of bees. Yesterday we reached
-the last village we shall see in Picardy, and this morning we shall
-march out of the Departement de la Somme, whither we know not.
-
-It is one of those wonderful mid-October days when the sun rises red
-above a light, low mist, and land sparkling with hoar-frost; when the
-sky is azure blue, the air clean and cold, and the roads white and
-hard. A day when the “fall-in” sounds from rolling plain to wooded
-slope and back again, clear and mellow, and when the hearts of men are
-glad.
-
-“Bat-ta-lion ... Shun!”
-
-It does one good to hear the unison of sound as the heels come
-together, and a few moments later we have moved off, marching to
-attention down the little main street of Blondin-par-la-Gironde, with
-its 300 inhabitants, old, old church, and half-dozen estaminets.
-Madame, where we billeted last night, and her strapping daughter
-Marthe, are standing on the doorstep to see us go by. “Bonjour,
-M’sieurs, Au revoir, Bonne chance!”
-
-“Left, left, left--ri--left,” the pace is short, sharp, and decisive,
-more like the Rifle Brigade trot. Even the backsliders, the men who
-march as a rule like old women trying to catch a bus, have briskened up
-this morning. Looking along the column from the rear one can see that
-rhythmical ripple which betokens the best marching, and instinctively
-the mind flashes back to that early dawn three days ago--no, four--when
-they came out of the trenches, muddy, dead-beat, awesomely dirty, just
-able to hobble along in fours.
-
-Ninety-six hours and what a change!
-
-“March at ease.”
-
-The tail of the column has passed the last little low cottage in the
-village, and the twenty-one kilometre “hike” has begun. Corporal
-McTavish, mindful that he was once a staff bugler, unslings his
-instrument, and begins--after a few horrid practice notes--to play
-“Bonnie Dundee,” strictly according to his own recollection of that
-ancient tune. The scouts and signallers are passing remarks of an
-uncomplimentary nature anent the Colonel’s second horse, which, when
-not trying to prance on the Regimental Sergeant-Major’s toes, shows an
-evil inclination to charge backwards through the ranks. The bombers are
-grousing, as usual; methodically, generally, but without bitterness.
-“They will not sing, they cannot play, but they can surely fight.”
-
-“A” Company band consisting of the aforesaid Corporal McTavish, three
-mouth-organs, an accordion, a flute, and a piccolo, plus sundry
-noises, is heartily engaged with the air “I want to _go_ back, I
-WANT to _go back_ (_cres._), I want to go back (_dim._), To the farm
-(_pizzicato_),” which changes after the first kilometre to “Down in
-Arizona where the Bad Men are.” They are known as the “Birds,” and not
-only do they whistle, but they also sing!
-
-“B” Company is wrapped in gloom; they march with a grim determination,
-a “just-you-wait-till-I-catch-you” expression which bodes ill for
-somebody. Did not a rum-jar--a full jar of rum--vanish from the
-rations last night? Isn’t the Quartermaster--and the C.S.M.’s batman
-too--endowed with a frantic “hang-over” this morning? This world is an
-unfair, rotten kind of a hole anyhow. The Company wit, one Walters,
-starts to sing “And when I die.” He is allowed to proceed as far as
-“Just pickle my bones,” but “in alcohol” is barely out of his mouth
-when groans break in upon his ditty, coupled with loud-voiced protests
-to “Have a heart.”
-
-For six months past “C” Company has rejoiced in the generic title
-of “Scorpions.” Their strong suit is limerics, the mildest of which
-would bring a blush to the cheek of an old-time camp-follower. Within
-the last twenty-four hours their O.C. has been awarded the Military
-Cross. His usually stern visage--somewhat belied by a twinkling blue
-eye--is covered with a seraphic smile. Cantering along the column
-comes the Colonel. The artists of the limeric subside. Pulling up,
-the C.O. about turns and holds out his hand. “I want to congratulate
-you, Captain Bolton. Well deserved. Well deserved. Honour to the
-regiment ... yes, yes ... excellent, excellent ... ahem ... thank you,
-thank you...!” With one accord the old scorpions, led by the Company
-Sergeant-Major, break into the refrain “See him smi-ling, see him
-smi-ling, see him smi-i-ling just now.” And Bolton certainly does smile.
-
-By this time we have marched for an hour, and the signal comes to halt,
-and fall out on the right of the road. The men smoke, and the officers
-gather together in little groups. It is wonderful what ten minutes’
-rest will do when a man is carrying all his worldly goods on his back.
-
-A few minutes after starting out again we see ahead of us a little
-group of horses, and a red hat or twain, and red tabs. The Divisional
-Commander _and_ the Brigadier. The Battalion takes a deep breath,
-slopes arms, pulls itself together generally, dresses by the right, and
-looks proud and haughty. There is a succession of “Eyes Rights” down
-the column, as each unit passes the reviewing base, and then we all
-sigh again. _That’s_ over for to-day!
-
-On we march, through many quaint little old-world villages, every one
-of which is filled with troops, up hill and down dale, through woods,
-golden and brown, tramping steadily onward, a long green-brown column a
-thousand strong. Cussing the new drafts who fall out, cussing the old
-boots that are worn out, cussing the war in general, and our packs in
-detail, but none the less content. For who can resist the call of the
-column, the thought of the glorious rest when the march is done, and
-the knowledge that whatever we may be in years to come, just now we are
-IT!
-
-
-
-
-THE NATIVES
-
-
-“Bonn joor, Madame!”
-
-“Bonjour, M’sieu!”
-
-“Avvy voo pang, Madame?”
-
-“Braëd? But yes, M’sieu. How much you want? Two? Seize sous, M’sieu.”
-
-“_How_ much does the woman say, Buster?”
-
-“Sixteen sous, cuckoo!”
-
-“Well, here’s five francs.”
-
-“Ah, but, M’sieu! Me no monnaie! No chanch! Attendez, je vous donnerai
-du papier.”
-
-Madame searches in the innermost recesses of an old drawer, and
-produces one French penny, two sous, a two-franc bill of the Commune
-of Lisseville, stuck together with bits of sticking-paper, a very
-dirty one-franc bill labelled St. Omer, and two 50-centimes notes from
-somewhere the other side of Amiens.
-
-“Je regrette, M’sieu,” Madame waves her hands in the air, “mais c’est
-tout ce que j’ai.... All dat I ’ave, M’sieu!”
-
-The transaction, which has taken a full ten minutes, is at last
-completed. They are very long-suffering, the natives, taken on the
-whole. In the first place “C’est la guerre.” Secondly, they, too, have
-soldier husbands, sons, and brothers and cousins serving in the Grandes
-Armées. Is it to be expected that they be well treated unless _we_ do
-_our_ share? And--these British soldiers, they have much money. And
-they are generous for the most part.
-
-So Madame, whose husband is in Champagne, gives up the best bedroom to
-Messieurs les Officiers, and sleeps with her baby in the attic. The
-batmen use her poële, and sit around it in the evening drinking her
-coffee. Le Commandant buys butter, milk, eggs--“mais, mon dieu, one
-would think a hen laid an egg every hour to hear him! Trois douzaine!
-But, Monsieur, I have but six poules, and they overwork themselves
-already! There is not another egg above eleven dans tous le pays,
-M’sieu. Champagne? But yes, certainement. Bénédictine? Ah, non, M’sieu,
-it is défendu, and we sold the last bottle to an officier with skirts
-a week ago. Un treès bon officier, M’sieu; he stay two days, and make
-love to Juliette. Juliette fiancée? Tiens, she has a million, M’sieu,
-to hear them talk, like every pretty girl in France. So soon you enter
-the doorway, M’sieu, and see Juliette, you say ‘Moi fiancé, vous?’ You
-are très taquin--verree bad boys--les Anglais!”
-
-Sometimes there is war, red war. Madame enters, wringing her hands, her
-hair suggestive of lamentation and despair. She wishes to see M’sieu
-l’Officier who speaks a little French.
-
-“Ah, M’sieu, but it is terrible. I give to the Ordonnances my fire,
-my cook-pots, and a bed of good hay in the stable, next to the cows,
-and what do they do? M’sieu, they steal my gate that was put there by
-my grandfather--he who won a decoration in soixante et six--and they
-get a little axe and make of it fire-wood! And in the early morning
-they milk the cows. Ah, but, M’sieu, I will go to the Maire and make a
-réclammation! Fifteen francs for a new gate, and seventeen sous for the
-milk that they have stolen! And the cuillers! Before the war I buy a
-new set, with Henri, of twenty-four cuillers. Where are they? All but
-three are volées, M’sieu! It is not juste. M’sieu le Capitaine who was
-here a week ago last Dimanche--for I went to Mass--say it is a dam
-shame, M’sieu. I do not like to make the trouble, M’sieu, but I must
-live. La veuve Marnot over yonder, two houses down the street on the
-left-hand side, she could have a hundred gates burned and say nothing.
-She is très riche. They say the Mayor make déjà his advances. But me,
-what shall I do, my gate a desecration in the stoves, M’sieu, and the
-milk of my cows drunk by the maudits ordonnances!”
-
-Note in the mess president’s accounts: “To one gate (burned) and milk
-stolen, 7.50 francs.”
-
-All over France and Belgium little stores have grown and flourished.
-They sell tinned goods without limit, from cigarettes, through lobster,
-to peaches.
-
-Both are practical countries.
-
-In nearly all these boutiques there is a pretty girl. Both nations have
-learned the commercial value of a pretty girl. It increases the credit
-side of the business 75 per cent. In the Estaminets it is the same,
-only more so. Their turnover is a thing which will be spoken of by
-their great-grandchildren with bated breath.
-
-More cases than one are known where the lonely soldier has made a
-proposal, in form, to the fair débitante who nightly handed him his
-beer over the bar of a little Estaminet. Sometimes he has been accepted
-pour l’amour de sa cassette--sometimes “pour l’amour de ses beaux yeux!”
-
-In a little hamlet several days’ march behind the firing-line, lived
-a widow. She was a grass-widow before Verdun, and there she became
-“veuve.” She was a tall, handsome woman, twenty-seven or twenty-eight
-perhaps, and her small feet and ankles, the proud carriage of her head,
-and the delicate aquiline nose bespoke her above the peasantry. She
-kept a little café at the junction of three cross-roads. The natives
-know her as Madame de Maupin.
-
-Why “de” you ask? Because her father was a French count and her mother
-was a femme de chambre. The affair made an esclandre of some magnitude
-many years ago. Madame de Maupin was fille naturelle. She married, at
-the wishes of her old harridan of a mother, a labourer of the village.
-She despised her husband. He was uncouth and a peasant. In her the
-cloven hoof showed little. Despite no advantages of education she had
-the instincts of her aristocratic father. The natives disliked her for
-that reason.
-
-Madame de Maupin kept a café. Until the soldiers came it did not pay,
-but she would not keep an Estaminet. It was so hopelessly “vulgaire.”
-After closing hours, between eight and ten, Madame de Maupin held her
-Court. Officers gathered in the little back room, and she entertained
-them, while they drank. She had wit, and she was very handsome. One of
-her little court, a young officer, fell in love with her. Her husband
-was dead.
-
-Her lover had money, many acres, and position. He proposed to her. She
-loved him and--she refused him, “because,” she said simply, “you would
-not be happy.”
-
-He was sent to the Somme.
-
-Madame de Maupin closed her Estaminet and vanished.
-
-There is a story told, which no one believes, of a woman, dressed in a
-private’s uniform of the British army, who was found, killed, among the
-ruins of Thiepval. She lay beside a wounded officer, who died of his
-wounds soon after. He had been tended by some one, for his wounds were
-dressed. In his tunic pocket was a woman’s photograph, but a piece of
-shrapnel had disfigured it beyond recognition.
-
-But, as I said, no one believes the story.
-
-
-
-
-“OTHER INHABITANTS”
-
-
-There is a little story told of two young subalterns, neither of whom
-could speak the lingua Franca, who went one day to the Estaminet des
-Bons Copins, not five thousand miles from Ploegstraete woods, to buy
-some of the necessities of life, for the Estaminet was a little store
-as well as a road-house. Both of the said subalterns had but recently
-arrived in Flanders, from a very spick and span training area, and
-neither was yet accustomed to the ways of war, nor to the minor
-discomforts caused by inhabitants other than those of the country,
-albeit native to it from the egg, as it were.
-
-They entered the Bons Copins, and having bought cigarettes and a few
-odds and ends, one of them suddenly remembered that he wanted a new
-pair of braces, to guarantee the safety of his attire. But the French
-word for braces was a knock-out. Neither himself nor his friend could
-think of it, and an Anglo-French turning of the English version met
-with dismal failure.
-
-At last a bright idea smote him. He smiled benignly, and vigorously
-rubbed the thumbs of both hands up and down over his shoulders and
-chest. Madame beamed with the light of immediate understanding. “Oui,
-Monsieur, mais oui ... _oui_!” She disappeared into the back of the
-store, to return a moment later, bearing in her hand a large green box,
-labelled distinctly: “Keating’s Powder!”
-
-There are few things that will have the least effect on a vigorous
-young section of “other inhabitants.”
-
-Those good, kind people who send out little camphor balls, tied up in
-scarlet flannel bags, and tins of Keating’s without number, little know
-what vast formations in mass these usually deadly articles must deal
-with. We have suspended camphor balls--little red sacks, tapes, and
-all--in countless numbers about our person. We have gone to bed well
-content, convinced of the complete route of our Lilliputian enemies.
-And on the morrow we have found them snugly ensconced--grandmamma,
-grandpapa, and their great-great-grandchildren--right plumb in the
-centre of our batteries. Making homes there; waggling their little
-legs, and taking a two-inch sprint now and then round the all-red
-route. What is camphor to them? This hardy stock has been known to live
-an hour in a tin of Keating’s powder, defiant to the last! What boots
-it that a man waste time and substance on a Sabbath morn sprinkling his
-garments over with powders and paraffins. He is sure to miss a couple,
-and one of them is certain to be the blushing bride of the other.
-
-From deep below the calf comes the plaintive wail, spreading far and
-wide, to the very nape of the neck: “Husband, where are you? I am lost
-and alone, and even off my feed!” With no more ado hubby treks madly
-down the right arm and back again, hits a straight trail, and finds the
-lost one.
-
-And the evening and the morning see the grandchildren.
-
-Grandpa leads them bravely to the first collision mat, an area
-infected with coal-oil. “Charge, my offspring!” he cries, waggling
-his old legs as hard as he can, “prove yourselves worthy scions of
-our race!” And the little blighters rush madly over the line--with
-their smoke-helmets on, metaphorically speaking--and at once set about
-establishing a new base.
-
-Henry goes to Mabel, and says: “Mabel, darling! I have found a sweet
-little home for two--or (blushing!) perhaps _three_--in the crook of
-the left knee. Will you be my bride?” And Mabel suffers herself to be
-led away, and duly wed, at once. So they dance a Tarantelle under the
-fifth rib, and then proceed to the serious business of bringing up
-little Henrys and Mabels in the way they should go!
-
-There is only one way to deal with them, cruel and ruthless though
-it be. Lay on the dogs! Remove each garment silently, swiftly,
-relentlessly. Pore over it until you see Henry hooking it like Billy-oh
-down the left leg of your--er, pyjamas. Catch him on the wing, so to
-speak, and squash him! Then look for Mabel and the children, somewhere
-down the other leg, and do ditto! Set aside two hours _per diem_ for
-this unsportsmanlike hunt, and you may be able to bet evens with
-the next chappy inside a couple of months! Even then the odds are
-against you, unless you hedge with the junior subaltern, who gets the
-worst--and therefore most likely to be tenanted--bed!
-
-If you see a man, en déshabille, sitting out in the sun, with an
-earnest, intent look on his face, and a garment in his hands, you can
-safely bet one of two things. He is either (1) mad, (2) hunting.
-
-It adds variety to life to watch him from afar, and then have a
-sweepstake on the total with your friends. You need not fear the
-victim’s honesty. He will count each murdered captive as carefully as
-though he were (or she were!) a batch of prisoner Fritzes. There is a
-great element of luck about the game, too; you never can tell. Some men
-develop into experts. Lightning destroyers, one might say. A brand-new
-subaltern joined the sweepstake one day, and he bet 117. The chap had
-only been at it half an hour by the clock, too!
-
-The new sub. won.
-
-You can always tell a new sub. You go up to him and you say politely:
-“Are you--er ... yet?” If he looks insulted he is new. If he says,
-“Yes, old top, millions of ’em!” and wriggles, he is old!
-
-There was a man once who had a champion. He said he got it in a German
-dug-out; anyhow, it was a pure-blooded, number one mammoth, and it won
-every contest on the measured yard, against all comers. He kept it in
-a glass jar, and fed it on beef. It died at the age of two months and
-four days, probably from senility brought on by over-eating and too
-many Derbies. Thank heaven the breed was not perpetuated, albeit the
-Johnny who owned it could have made a lot of money if he had not been
-foolishly careful of the thing.
-
-He buried it in a tin of Keating’s--mummified, as it were--and enclosed
-an epitaph: “Here lie the last ligaments of the largest louse the Lord
-ever let loose!”
-
-Some people think Fritz started the things, as a minor example of
-frightfulness. One of them caused a casualty in the regiment, at
-all events. A new sub., a very squeamish chappie, found _one_--just
-one!--and nearly died of shame. He heard petrol was a good thing, so
-he anointed himself all over with it, freely. Then his elbow irritated
-him, and he lighted a match to see if it was another!
-
-He is still in hospital!
-
-
-
-
-BOMBS
-
-
-We counted them as they came up the communication trench, and the
-Commander of “AK” Company paled; yet he was a brave man. He cast a
-despairing glance around him, and then looked at me.
-
-“George,” he said (you may not believe it, but there can be a world of
-pathos put into that simple name). “_George_, we are Goners.”
-
-By this time they had reached the front line.
-
-My thoughts flew to the Vermoral sprayer, last time it had been the
-Vermoral sprayer. Was the V.S. filled, or was it not...?
-
-They came from scent to view, and pulling himself together with a click
-of the heels closely imitated by the S.I.C., the O.C. “AK” Coy. saluted.
-
-“Good morning, sir!”
-
-The General acknowledged the salute, but the ends of his moustache
-quivered. G.S.O. one, directly in rear, frowned. The Colonel looked
-apprehensive, and glared at both of us. The Brigadier was glum, the
-Brigade Major very red in the face. Two of those beastly supercilious
-Aides looked at each other, smiled, glanced affectionately at their red
-tabs and smiled again.
-
-It was exactly 2.29 “pip emma” when the mine went up.
-
-“Discipline, sir,” said the General, “discipline is lacking in your
-company! You have a sentry on duty at the head of Chelwyn Road. A
-sentry! What does he do when he sees me? Not a damn thing, sir! Not a
-damn thing!”
-
-Of course the O.C. “AK” made a bad break; one always does under such
-circumstances.
-
-“He may not have seen you, sir.”
-
-G.S.O. one moved forward in support, so that if overcome the General
-could fall back on his centre.
-
-A whizz-bang burst in 94--we were in 98--and the Staff ducked,
-taking the time from the front. The Aides carried out the movement
-particularly smartly, resuming the upright position in strict rotation.
-
-The General fixed us with a twin Flammenwerfer gaze.
-
-“What’s that? Not _see_ me? What the devil is he there for, sir? I
-shall remember this, Captain--ah, Roberts--I shall remember this!”
-
-Pause.
-
-“Where is your Vermoral sprayer?”
-
-Like lambkins followed by voracious lions, we lead them to the Vermoral
-sprayer.
-
-I was at the retaking of Hill 60, at Ypres long months ago, at
-Festubert and Givenchy, but never was I so inspired with dread as now.
-
-Praise be to Zeus, the V.S. was full!
-
-We passed on, until we reached a bomber cleaning bombs. The General
-paused. The bomber, stood to attention, firmly grasping a bomb in the
-right hand, knuckles down, forearm straight.
-
-“Ha!” said the General. “Ha! Bombs, what?”
-
-The bomber remained apparently petrified.
-
-“What I always say about these bombs,” the General continued, turning
-to the Brigadier, “is that they’re so damn simple, what? A child can
-use them. You can throw them about, and, provided the pin is in, no
-harm will come of it. But”--looking sternly at me--“_always_ make sure
-the pin is safely imbedded in the base of the bomb. That is the first
-duty of a man handling bombs.”
-
-We all murmured assent, faintly or otherwise, according to rank.
-
-“Give me that bomb,” said the General to the bomber, waxing
-enthusiastic. The man hesitated. The General glared, the bomb became
-his.
-
-We stood motionless around him. “You see, gentlemen,” the General
-continued jocularly. “I take this bomb, and I throw it on the
-ground--so! It does not explode, it cannot explode, the fuse is not
-lit, for the pin----”
-
-Just then the bomber leapt like a fleeting deer round the corner, but
-the General was too engrossed to notice him.
-
-“As I say, the pin----”
-
-A frightened face appeared round the bay, and a small shaky voice broke
-in:
-
-“Please, sir, it’s a five-second fuse--an’ _I ’ad took HOUT the pin_!”
-
- * * * * *
-
-After all the General reached the traverse in time and we were not shot
-at dawn. But G.S.O. one has gone to England “Wounded and shell-shock.”
-
-
-
-
-SOFT JOBS
-
-
-This war has produced a new type of military man--so-called--to
-wit: the seeker after soft jobs. He flourishes in large numbers in
-training areas; he grows luxuriantly around head-quarters staffs, and
-a certain kind of hybrid--a combination of a slacker and a soldier--is
-to be found a few miles to the rear of the firing-line in France and
-Flanders. There are some of him in every rank, from the top of the tree
-to the bottom. If he is a natural-born soft-jobber he never leaves
-his training area--not even on a Cook’s tour. Should the virus be
-latent, he will develop an attack, acute or mild, after one tour in the
-trenches, or when one of our own batteries has fired a salvo close by
-him.
-
-If he is affected by very mild germs he may stand a month or two in the
-firing-line in some sector where fighting troops are sent for a rest
-and re-organisation. Broadly speaking, therefore, he belongs to one of
-three classes, of which the second class is perhaps the worst.
-
-There are some men who join the army without the least intention of
-ever keeping less than the breadth of the English Channel between
-themselves and fighting territory. Not for them the “glorious”
-battle-fields, not for them the sweat and toil and purgatory of
-fighting for their country. Nothing at all for them in fact, save a
-ribbon and a barless medal, good quarters, perfect safety, staff pay,
-weekend leave, with a few extra days thrown in as a reward for their
-valuable services, and--a soft job!
-
-They are the militaresques of our armies. The men who try hard to be
-soldiers, and who only succeed in being soldier-like beings erect upon
-two legs, with all the outward semblance of a soldier. Yet even _their_
-lives are not safe. They run grave risks by day and by night in the
-service of their country.
-
-Zeppelins!
-
-There is an air of bustle and excitement around the officers’ quarters
-in the training camp to-day. Batmen--hoary-haired veterans with six
-ribbons, whom no M.O. could be induced to pass for active service,
-even by tears--rush madly hither and thither, parleying in odd moments
-of Ladysmith, Kabul to Kandahar, and “swoddies.” Head-quarters look
-grave, tense, strained.
-
-In the ante-room to the mess stand soda syphons and much “B. & W.”
-There are gathered there most of the officers of two regiments--base
-battalions, with permanent training staffs. In the five seats of honour
-recline nonchalantly two majors, one captain, and two subalterns. (O.C.
-Lewis gun school, O.C. nothing in particular, Assistant O.C. Lewis
-gun school, Assistant Assistant Lewis gun school, Deputy Assistant
-Adjutant.) They are smoking large, fat cigars, and consuming many
-drinks. Are they not the heroes of the hour? When the sun rises well
-into the heavens to-morrow they will set forth on a desperate journey.
-
-They are going on a Cook’s tour of two weeks’ duration to the trenches!
-(So that they can have the medal!) In the morning, with bad headaches,
-they depart. In Boulogne they spend twelve hours of riotous life.
-(“Let us eat and drink,” says the O.C. nothing in particular, “for
-to-morrow, dont-cher-know!”) They arrive in due course at Battalion
-battle H.Q. The majors have the best time, as they stay with the C.O.,
-drink his Scotch, and do the bombing officer and the M.G.O. out of a
-bed.
-
-The rest of them are right up among the companies, where they are an
-infernal nuisance. About 11 “pip emma” Fritz starts fire-works, and
-finishes up with a bombing attack on the left flank. The O.C. nothing
-in particular stops at B.H.Q. The O.C. Lewis gun school mistakes the
-first general head-quarters line (one kilometre in rear) for the front
-line, and goes back with shell-shock, having been in the centre of
-a barrage caused by one 5.9 two hundred yards north. The Assistant
-Assistant gets into the main bomb store in the front line, and stops
-there, and the Assistant O.C. Lewis gun school remains in Coy. H.Q. and
-looks after the batmen. The Deputy Assistant Adjutant gets out into
-the trench, finds some bombers doing nothing, gets hold of a couple of
-bombs, makes for the worst noise, and carries on as a soldier should.
-
-After the show the O.C. nothing in particular tells the Colonel all
-_his_ theories on counter-attack, and goes sick in the morning for
-the remaining period of his tour; the other twain stand easy, and the
-Deputy Assistant Adjutant makes an application for transfer to the
-Battalion. Incidentally he is recommended for the military cross.
-
-When the four previously mentioned return to England they all of them
-apply for better soft jobs, on the strength of recent experiences at
-the front. The one man who threw up his soft job to become junior
-subaltern in a fighting regiment is killed in the next “show” before
-his recommendation for a decoration has been finally approved.
-
-_Fiat justitia, ruat cœlum._
-
-
-
-
-“GROUSE”
-
-
-We aren’t happy; our clothes don’t fit, and we ain’t got no friends!
-Rations are not up yet--confound the Transport Officer--it’s raining
-like the dickens, as dark as pitch, and we’ve only got one bit of
-candle. Some one has pinched a jar of rum, that idiot batman of mine
-can’t find a brazier, and young John has lost his raincoat. In fact
-it’s a rotten war.
-
-We had lobster for lunch; it has never let us forget we had it! The
-Johnny we “took over” from _said_ there were 7698 million bombs in the
-Battalion grenade store, and there are only 6051. The Adjutant has
-just sent a “please explain,” which shows what you get for believing a
-fellow.
-
-The little round fat chap has left his gumboots (thigh) “Somewhere in
-France,” and fell into the trench tramway trying to wear an odd six on
-the right foot, and an odd nine on the left. George has busted the D
-string of the mandoline, and A. P. has lost the only pack of cards we
-had to play poker with.
-
-It’s a simply _rotten_ war!
-
-John has a working-party out of sixty “other ranks” and says they are
-spread in two’s and three’s over a divisional frontage. He has made two
-trips to locate them, and meditates a third. His language is positively
-hair-raising. If he falls into any more shell-holes no one will let him
-in the dug-out.
-
-Those confounded brigade machine gunners are firing every other second
-just in front of the dug-out. Heaven knows what they are firing at, or
-where, but how a man could be expected to sleep through the noise only
-a siege artillery man could tell you.
-
-George went out on a “reconnaissance” recently. George is great on
-doing reconnaissances and drawing maps. This time the reconnaissance
-did _him_, and the only map he’s yet produced is mud tracings on his
-person. Incidentally he says that _all_ the communication trenches are
-impassable, and that no one but a cat could go over the top and keep on
-his feet for more than thirty seconds. (N.B.--George fell into the main
-support line and had to be pulled out by some of John’s working-party.)
-George says that if the Germans come over it’s all up. Cheerful sort
-of beggar, George.
-
-My new smoke-helmet--the one you wear round your neck all the time,
-even in your dreams--is lost again. This is the third time in the
-course of six hours. The gas N.C.O. has calculated that with the wind
-at its present velocity we should be gassed in one and three-quarter
-seconds, not counting the recurring decimal.
-
-John has just told a story about a bayonet. It would be funny at any
-other time. Now, it simply sticks!
-
-The cook has just come in to say our rations have been left behind by
-mistake. Troubles never come singly. May heaven protect the man who
-is responsible if we get him! John has told another story, about an
-Engineer. It can’t be true, for he says this chap was out in No Man’s
-Land digging a trench. No one ever knew a Canadian Engineer do anything
-but tell the infantry how to work. It’s a rotten story, anyhow.
-
-Just look at this dug-out; a bottle of rum on the table--empty. The odd
-steel helmet, some dirty old newspapers, and a cup or two (empty!),
-and a pile of strafes from the Adjutant six inches thick. My bed has
-a hole in it as big as a “Johnson ’ole,” and there are rats. Also the
-place is inhabited by what the men call “crumbs.” Poetic version of a
-painful fact.
-
-John says this is the d--est outfit he has ever been in. John is right.
-My gumboots were worn by the Lance-Corporal in No. 2 platoon, and they
-are wet, beastly wet. Also my batman has forgotten to put any extra
-socks in my kit-bag. Also he’s lost my German rifle--the third I’ve
-bought for twenty francs and lost.
-
-This is a _deuce_ of a war!
-
-The mail has just arrived. George got five, the little round fat fellow
-_nine_, A. P. two, and John and me shake hands with a duck’s-egg. Still
-the second mentioned has his troubles. One of his many inamoratas has
-written to him in French. He knows French just about as well as he
-knows how to sing! Nuff said!
-
-John has “parti’d” to his triple-starred working-party. The men have
-not got any letters either. You should hear them! The most expert
-“curser” of the Billingsgate fishmarket would turn heliotrope with
-envy. George is feeling badly too. He lent his flash-light to dish out
-rations with. That is to say, to illuminate what the best writers of
-nondescript fiction call the “Cimmerian gloom!”
-
-A. P. has had letters from his wife. Lucky dog! She takes up four pages
-telling him how she adores him.
-
-This is a _beastly_ rotten war.
-
-Fritz is a rotter too. My dug-out is two hundred yards north by
-nor’-east. Every time I have to make the trip he never fails to keep
-the Cimmerian gloom strictly “Cim.” And the bath-mats are broken in two
-places, and I’ve found both of them every time.
-
-Another strafe from the Adjutant. May jackals defile his grave, but
-he’ll never have one in France, anyhow. “Please render an account
-to Orderly Room of the number of men in your unit who are qualified
-plumbers.”
-
-We haven’t any.
-
-If we had we should have mended the hole in the roof, which leaks on
-John’s bed. It has only just begun to leak. It will be fun to hear
-what John says when he comes back. Only he may be speechless.
-
-The little round fat fellow is still reading letters, and A. P. is
-hunting in his nether garments. “Kinder scratterin’ aroun’!” So far the
-bag numbers five killed and two badly winged, but still on the run.
-
-Somebody has turned out the guard. Yells of fire. After due inspection
-proves to be the C.O.’s tunic. It was a new one! May his batman
-preserve himself in one piece.
-
-More yells of “Guard turn out!” Support my tottering footsteps!
-Our--that is to say _my_ dug-out is on fire.... Confusion.... Calm....
-I have no dug-out, no anything.... This is, pardonnez-moi, a Hell of a
-war!
-
-
-
-
-PANSIES
-
-
-There are some pansies on my table, arranged in a broken glass one of
-the men has picked up among the rubble and débris of this shattered
-town. Dark mauve and yellow pansies, pretty, innocent looking little
-things. “Pansies--that’s for thoughts.”
-
-Transport is rattling up and down the street--guns, limbers, G.S.
-wagons, water-carts, God knows what, and there are men marching along,
-mud-caked, weary, straggling, clinging fast to some German souvenir as
-they come one way; jaunty, swinging, clean, with bands a-blowing as
-they go the other. It is a dull grey day. There is “something doing” up
-the line. I can hear the artillery, that ceaseless artillery, pounding
-and hammering, and watch the scout aeroplanes, dim grey hawks in the
-distance, from the windows of the room above--the broken-down room with
-the plasterless ceiling, and the clothes scattered all over the floor.
-
-“Pansies--that’s for thoughts.”
-
-The regiment is up yonder--the finest regiment God ever made. They
-are wallowing in the wet, sticky mud of the trenches they have dug
-themselves into, what is left of them. They are watching and waiting,
-always watching and waiting for the enemy to attack.
-
-And they are being bombarded steadily, pitilessly, without cessation.
-Some will be leaning against the parapet, sleeping the sleep of
-exhaustion, some will be watching, some smoking, if they have got any
-smokes left. I know them. Until the spirit leaves their bodies they
-will grin and fight, fight and grin, but always “Carry On.”
-
-Last night they went up to relieve the --th, after they had just come
-out of the line, and were themselves due to be relieved. Overdue, in
-fact, but the General knew that he could rely on them, knew that THEY
-would never give way, while there was a man left to fire a rifle. So
-he used them--as they have always been used, and as they always will
-be--to hold the line in adversity, to take the line when no one else
-could take it.
-
-We have been almost wiped out five times, but the old spirit still
-lives, the Spirit of our mighty dead. There are always enough “old
-men” left, even though they number but a score, with whom to leaven
-the lump of raw, green rookies that come to us, and to turn them into
-soldiers worthy of the Regiment.
-
-Dark mauve pansies.
-
-I knew all the old soldiers of the Brigade, I have fought with them,
-shaken hands with them afterwards--those who survived--mourned with
-them our pals who were gone--buried many a one of them.
-
-This time I am out of it. Alone with the pansies ... and my thoughts.
-Thomson was killed last night; Greaves, Nicholson, Townley, between
-then and now. Nearly all the rest are wounded. Those who come back will
-talk of this fight, they will speak of hours and events of which I
-shall know nothing. For the first time I shall be on the outer fringe,
-mute ... with only ears to hear, and no heart to speak.
-
-Perhaps they will come out to-morrow night. Or, early, very early the
-following morning. They will be tired--so tired they are past feeling
-it--unshaven, unwashed, and covered with mud from their steel helmets
-down to the soles of their boots. But they will be fairly cheerful.
-They will try to sing on the long, long march back here, as I have
-heard them so many times before. When they reach the edge of the town
-they will try to square their weary shoulders, and to keep step--and
-they will do it, too, heaven only knows _how_, but they will do it.
-Their leader will feel very proud of them, which is only right and
-proper. He will call them “boys,” encourage the weak, inwardly admire
-and bless the strong. And he will be proud of the mud and dirt, proud
-of his six days’ growth of beard. Satisfied; because he has just done
-one more little bit, and the Good Lord has pulled him through it.
-
-When they get to their billets they will cheer; discordantly, but cheer
-none the less. They will crowd into the place, and drop their kits
-and themselves on top of them, to sleep the sleep of the just--the
-well-earned sleep of utter fatigue.
-
-In the morning they will feel better, and they will glance at you with
-an almost affectionate look in their eyes, for they know--as the men
-always know--whether you have proved yourself, whether you have made
-good--or failed.
-
-“Pansies ... that’s for thoughts....”
-
-And I am out of it--out of it _ALL_ ... preparing “To re-organise what
-is left of the regiment.”
-
-For God’s sake, Holman, take away those flowers!
-
-
-
-
-GOING BACK
-
-
-A large crowd packed the wide platform, hemmed in on one side by
-a barrier, on the other by a line of soldiers two paces apart.
-The boat-train was leaving in five minutes. That a feeling of
-tension permeated the crowd was evident, from the forced smiles and
-laughter, and the painful endeavours of the departing ones to look
-preternaturally cheerful. In each little group there were sudden
-silences.
-
-Almost at the last moment a tall, lean officer pressed through the
-crowd, made for a smoking-carriage, and got in. He surveyed the scene
-with a rather compassionate interest, while occasionally a wistful look
-passed over his face as he watched for a moment an officer talking with
-a very pretty girl, almost a child, who now and then mopped her eyes
-defiantly with a diminutive handkerchief.
-
-“All aboard.”
-
-The pretty girl lifted up her face, and the lonely one averted his
-eyes, pulled a newspaper hastily from his overcoat pocket, and
-proceeded to read it upside down!
-
-As the train pulled out of the station a cheer went up and
-handkerchiefs fluttered. The sole other occupant of the carriage, a
-young--very young--subaltern who had just said good-bye to his mother,
-muttered to himself and blinked hard out of the window. The Lonely
-One shrugged himself more deeply into his seat, and abstractedly
-reversed the newspaper. A paragraph caught his eye: “Artillery activity
-developed yesterday in the sector south of Leuville St. Vaast. An enemy
-attempt to raid our trenches at this point was foiled.” He smiled a
-trifle, and putting down the paper fell to thinking. Unable to contain
-himself any longer, the boy in the corner spoke.
-
-“Rotten job, this going back show,” he said. The other assented
-gravely, and they fell to talking, spasmodically, of the Front. Pure,
-undiluted shop, but very comforting.
-
-Finally the train arrived at the port of embarkation. A crowd of
-officers of all ranks surged along the platform, glanced at the
-telegram board, and passed on towards the boat. The Lonely One
-stopped, however, for his name in white chalk stared at him. He got the
-telegram eventually and opened it. It contained only two words and no
-signature: “Good luck.” Flushing a trifle he walked down to the waiting
-mail-boat, and getting his disembarkation card passed up the gangway.
-
-An air of impenetrable gloom hung over the dirty decks. Here and there
-a few men chatted together, but for the most part the passengers kept
-to themselves. The lonely man found the young lieutenant waiting for
-him, and together they mounted to the upper deck, and secured two
-chairs aft, hanging their life-belts on to them.
-
-A little later the boat cast off, and they watched the land fade from
-sight as many others were watching with them. “Ave atque Vale.”
-
-“I wonder ...” said the youngster, and then bit his lips.
-
-“Come below and have some grub,” the other said cheerily. They ate,
-paid for it through the nose, and felt better. Half an hour later they
-were in Boulogne.
-
-As they waited outside the M.L.O.’s office for their turn, the younger
-asked:
-
-“I say, what Army are you?”
-
-“First.”
-
-“So’m I,” joyfully, “p’raps we’ll go up together.”
-
-“I hope so, but we shall have to stop here the night, I expect.”
-
-Even as he said so a notice was hung outside the little wooden office:
-“Officers of the First Army returning from leave will report to the
-R.T.O., Gare Centrale, at 10.00 A.M. to-morrow, Saturday, 17th instant.”
-
-“That settles it,” said the elder man, “come along, and we’ll go to the
-Officers’ Club and bag a couple of beds.”
-
-“Nineteen hours,” wailed the other, “in this beastly place! What on
-earth shall we find to do?”
-
-“Don’t worry about that--there is usually some one to whom one can
-write.” It was both a hint and a question.
-
-“Yes--ra--_ther_!”
-
-They had tea, and afterwards the boy wrote a long letter, in which he
-said a great deal more to the mother who received it than was actually
-written on the paper. The Lonely One sat for some time in front of the
-fire, and finally scribbled a card. It was addressed to some place in
-the wilds of Scotland, and it bore the one word “Thanks.”
-
-After dinner they sat and smoked awhile. The Lonely One knew much of
-the life-history of the other by now. It had burst from the boy, and
-the Lonely One had listened sympathetically and with little comment,
-and had liked to hear it. It is good to hear a boy talk about his
-mother.
-
-“What shall we do now?”
-
-“We might go to the cinema show; it used to be fairly good.”
-
-“Right-oh! I say”--a little diffidently--“last time I was on
-leave, the first time too, I came back with some fellows who were
-pretty--well--pretty hot stuff. They wanted me to go to a--to a place
-up in the town, and I didn’t go. I think they thought I was an awful
-blighter, don’t-you-know, but----”
-
-“What that kind of chap thinks doesn’t matter in the least, old man,”
-interposed the other. “You were at Cambridge, weren’t you?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Well, you may have heard the old tag? Besides, I don’t think--some
-one--somebody ...” he hesitated and stopped. The youngster flushed.
-
-“Yes, I know,” he said softly.
-
-They boarded the train together, and shared the discomforts of the
-long tedious journey. Every hour, or less, the train stopped, for many
-minutes, and then with a creak and a groan wandered on again like an
-ancient snail. Rain beat on the window-panes, and the compartment was
-as drafty as a sieve.
-
-It was not until the small hours that they reached their destination, a
-cold, bleak, storm-swept platform.
-
-“This is where we say good-bye,” the youngster began regretfully,
-“thanks awf’ly for----”
-
-“Rot,” broke in the other brusquely, taking the proffered hand in his
-big brown one. “Best of luck, old man, and don’t forget to drop me a
-card.”
-
-“A nice boy, a _very_ nice boy,” he mused, as he climbed into the
-military bus, and was rattled off, back to the mud and slush and
-dreariness of it all.
-
-“Have a good time?” asked the Transport Officer the next morning,
-as the Lonely One struggled into his fighting kit, preparatory to
-rejoining the battalion in the trenches.
-
-“Yes, thanks. By the way, any mail for me?”
-
-“One letter. Here you are.”
-
-He took it, looked an instant at the handwriting, and thrust it inside
-his tunic. The postmark was the same as that of the wire he had
-received at the port of embarkation.
-
-
-
-
-THREE RED ROSES
-
-
-In the distance rose the spires of Ypres, and the water-tower, useless
-now for the purpose for which it was built, but still erect on its
-foundations. The silvery mist of early April hung very lightly over
-the flat surrounding land, hiding one corner of Vlamertinghe from
-sight, where the spire of the church still raised its head, as yet
-unvanquished. A red sun was rising in the East, and beyond Ypres a
-battle still raged, though nothing to the battle of a few short days
-before. Hidden batteries spoke now and then, and the roads were a cloud
-of dust, as men, transport, guns, and many ambulances passed along
-them. Overhead aeroplanes droned, and now and again shells whistled
-almost lazily overhead, to fall with a thunderous “crrumph” in Brielen
-and Vlamertinghe.
-
-By the canal there was a dressing-station. The little white flag with
-its red cross hung listless in the still air. Motor ambulances drove up
-at speed and departed with their burdens. Inside the dressing-station
-men worked ceaselessly, as they had been working for days. Sometimes
-shells fell near by. No one heeded them.
-
-Beyond the dressing-station, down the road, the banks of which were
-filled with little niches hollowed out with entrenching tools, hurried
-a figure. He was but one of many, but there was that about him which
-commanded the attention of all who saw him. His spurs and boots were
-dirty, his uniform covered with stains and dust, his face unshaven. He
-walked like a man in a dream, yet as of set purpose. Pale and haggard,
-he strode along, mechanically acknowledging salutes.
-
-Arrived at the dressing-station, without pausing he entered, and went
-up to one of the doctors who was bandaging the remnants of an arm.
-
-“Have they come yet?” he asked.
-
-The other looked at him gravely with a certain respect and pity, and
-with the eye also of a medical man.
-
-“Not yet, Colonel,” he answered. “You had better sit down and rest, you
-are all in.”
-
-The Colonel passed a weary hand over his forehead.
-
-“No,” he said. “No, Campbell; I shall go back and look for the party.
-They may have lost their way, and--they were three of my best officers,
-three of my boys.... I--I----”
-
-“Here, sir! Take this.”
-
-It was more of a command than a request. The Colonel drained what was
-given him, and went out without a word.
-
-Back he trudged, along the shell-pitted road, even now swept by
-occasional salvos of shrapnel. He took no notice of anything, but
-continued feverishly on his way, his eyes ever searching the distance.
-At last he gave vent to an exclamation. Down the road was coming a
-stretcher party. They had but one stretcher, and on it lay three
-blanketed bundles.
-
-The Colonel met them, and with bowed head accompanied them back to the
-dressing-station.
-
-“You found them--all?” It was his only question.
-
-“Yes, sir, all that was left.”
-
-The stretcher was taken to a little empty dug-out, and with his own
-hands the C.O. laid the Union Jack over it.
-
-“When will the--the graves be ready?” he asked the doctor.
-
-“By five o’clock, sir.”
-
-“I will be back at 4.30.”
-
-“You must take some rest, Colonel, or you’ll break down.”
-
-“Thank you, Campbell, I can look after myself!”
-
-“Very good, sir.”
-
-As he went away Captain Campbell looked after him rather anxiously.
-
-“Never would have thought _he could_ be so upset,” he mused. “He’ll be
-in hospital, if----”
-
-Straight back to Brielen the Colonel walked, and there he met his
-orderly with the horses. He mounted without a word, and rode on,
-through Vlamertinghe, until he reached Popheringe. There he dismounted.
-
-“I shall be some time,” he said to the orderly.
-
-He went through the square, up the noisy street leading to the
-Vehrenstraat, and along it, until he reached a little shop, in which
-were still a few flowers. He entered, and a frightened-looking woman
-came to serve him.
-
-“I want three red roses,” he said.
-
-It took the saleswoman several minutes to understand, but finally she
-showed him what she had. The roses were not in their first bloom,
-but they were large and red. The Colonel had them done up, and left
-carrying them carefully. The rest of his time he spent in repairing as
-well as might be the ravages of battle on his clothes and person. At
-4.20 he was again at the dressing-station.
-
-A quiet-voiced padre awaited him there, a tall, ascetic-looking man,
-with the eyes of a seer.
-
-They carried the bundles on the stretcher to the graves, three among
-many, just behind the dressing-station.
-
-“Almighty God, as it has pleased Thee to take the souls of these, our
-dear brothers ...” the sonorous voice read on, while the C.O. stood,
-bare-headed, at the head of the graves, holding in his hand the three
-red roses. The short burial service came to an end.
-
-The Colonel walked to the foot of each grave in turn, and gently threw
-on each poor shattered remnant a red rose. Straightening himself, he
-stood long at the salute, and then, with a stern, set face, he strode
-away, to where the Padre awaited him, not caring that his eyes were
-wet. The Padre said nothing, but took his hand and gripped it.
-
-“Padre,” said the Colonel, “those three were more to me than any other
-of my officers; I thought of them as my children.”
-
-
-
-
-ADJUTANTS
-
-
-If Fate cherishes an especial grievance against you, you will be made
-an Adjutant.
-
-One of those bright beautiful mornings, when all the world is young
-and, generally speaking, festive, the sword of Damocles will descend
-upon you, and you will be called to the Presence, and told you are to
-be Adjutant. You will, perhaps, be rather inclined to think yourself a
-deuce of a fellow on that account. You will acquire a pair of spurs,
-and expect to be treated with respect. You will, in fact, feel that
-you are a person of some importance, quite the latest model in good
-little soldiers. You may--and this is the most cruel irony of all--be
-complimented on your appointment by your brother officers.
-
-Vanity of vanities, all is vanity, saith the preacher!
-
-As soon as you become the “voice of the C.O.,” you lose every friend
-you ever possessed. You are just about as popular as the proverbial
-skunk at a garden-party. It takes only two days to find this out.
-
-The evening of the second day you decide to have a drink, Orderly Room
-or no Orderly Room. You make this rash decision, and you tell the
-Orderly-Room Sergeant--only heaven knows when _he_ sleeps--that you are
-going out.
-
-“I will be back in half an hour,” you say.
-
-Then you go forth to seek for George--George, your pal, your intimate,
-your bosom friend. You find George in your old Coy. head-quarters, and
-a pang of self-pity sweeps over you as you cross the threshold and see
-the other fellows there: George, Henry, John, and the rest.
-
-“Come and have a----” you begin cheerily. Suddenly, in the frosty
-silence you hear a cool, passionless voice remark,
-
-“Good evening, SIR!”
-
-It is George, the man you loved and trusted, whom you looked on as a
-friend and brother.
-
-“George, come and have a----” again the words stick in your throat.
-
-George answers, in tones from which all amity, peace, and goodwill
-towards men have vanished:
-
-“Thanks very much, sir”--oh baleful little word--“but I’ve just started
-a game of poker.”
-
-Dimly light dawns in your reeling brain; you realise the full extent
-of your disabilities, and you know that all is over. You are the
-Adjutant--the voice of the C.O.!
-
-Sadly, with the last glimmer of Adjutant pride and pomp cast from out
-your soul, you return to Orderly Room, drinkless, friendless, and alone.
-
-“The Staff Captain has been ringing you up, sir. He wants to know if
-the summary of evidence ...” and so on. In frenzied desperation you
-seize the telephone. Incidentally you call the Staff Captain away
-from his dinner. What he says, no self-respecting man--not even an
-Adjutant--could reveal without laying bare the most lacerated portions
-of his innermost feelings.
-
-You go to bed, a sadder and a wiser man, wondering if you could go
-back to the Company, even as the most junior sub., were you to make an
-impassioned appeal to the C.O.
-
-About 1 A.M. some one comes in and awakens you.
-
-“Message from Brigade, sir.”
-
-With an uncontrite heart you read it: “Forward to this office
-immediately a complete nominal roll of all men of your unit who have
-served continuously for nine months without leave.” That takes two
-hours, and necessitates the awakening of all unit commanders, as the
-last Adjutant kept no record. In psychic waves you feel curses raining
-on you through the stilly night. Having made an application--in
-writing--to the C.O., to be returned to duty, you go to bed.
-
-At 3.30 A.M. you are awakened again. “Movement order from Brigade, sir!”
-
-This time you say nothing. All power of speech is lost. The entire
-regiment curses you, while by the light of a guttering candle you write
-a movement order, “operation order number”--what the deuce _is_ the
-number anyhow. The Colonel is--shall we say--indisposed as to temper,
-and the companies get half an hour to fall in, ready to march off. One
-Company loses the way, and does not arrive at the starting-point.
-
-“Did you specify the starting-point quite clearly, Mr. Jones?”
-
-“Yes, sir.”
-
-“Where did you say it was?”
-
-“One hundred yards south of the ‘N’ in CANDIN, sir.”
-
-“There are _two_ ‘N’s’ in CANDIN, Mr. Jones; _two_ ‘N’s’! How can you
-expect a company commander to know _which_ ‘N’? Gross carelessness.
-Gross carelessness. Go and find the Company, please.”
-
-“Yessir.”
-
-You find the Company only just out of billets, after scouring the
-miserable country around the wrong ‘N’ for fifteen minutes, and falling
-off your horse into one of those infernal ditches.
-
-The battalion moves off half an hour later, and the C.O. has lots
-to say about it. He also remarks that his late Adjutant was “a good
-horseman”--a bitter reflection!
-
-There is absolutely no hope for an Adjutant. If he is a good man at
-the “job” everybody hates him. If he is feeble the C.O. hates him.
-The Brigade staff hate him on principle. If he kow-tows to them they
-trample on him with both feet, if he does _not_ they set snares for
-him, and keep him up all night. He is expected to know everything: K.
-R. and O. backwards and forwards, divisional drill, and the training of
-a section. Routine for the cure of housemaid’s knee in mules, and the
-whole compendium of Military Law. He is never off duty, and even his
-soul is not his own. He is, in fact, The Adjutant.
-
-Sometimes people try to be nice to him. They mean well. They will
-come into the Orderly Room and say: “Oh, Mr. Jones, can you tell me
-where the 119th Reserve Battery of the 83rd Reserve Stokes Gun Coy. is
-situated?” Of course, Adjutants know _everything_.
-
-And when you admit ignorance they look at you with pained surprise, and
-go to Brigade.
-
-“I asked the Adjutant of the --th Battalion, but he did not seem to
-know.”
-
-Adjutants die young.
-
-
-
-
-HOME
-
-
-There is one subject no man mentions at the Front unless it be very
-casually, _en passant_. Even then it brings with it a sudden silence.
-There is so much, so very much in that little word “Home.”
-
-If a man were to get up at a sing-song and sing “Home, Sweet Home,” his
-life would be imperilled. His audience would rise and annihilate him,
-because they could not give vent to their feelings in any other way.
-There are some things that strike directly at the heart, and this is
-one of them.
-
-You see the new officer, the men of the new draft, abstracted, with a
-rather wistful look on their faces, as they gaze into the brazier, or
-sit silently in billets when their work is done. You have felt like
-that, and you know what is the matter. The symptoms are not to be
-encouraged in the individual nor the mass. They lead to strong drink
-and dissipation, for no man can preserve his inward calm for long, if
-he dwells much on his dearest recollections of Home. There is but one
-remedy: work, and lots of it, action, movement, anything to distract.
-
-Many a man has committed some small “crime” that brought him to Orderly
-Room because he allowed his mind to wander ... Home--and realised too
-fully the percentage of his chances of ever seeing that home again. The
-Front is not a garden of Allah, or a bed of roses, or even a tenth-rate
-music-hall as some people would have us believe. It has to be made
-bearable by the spirit of those who endure it.
-
-There is enough that is grim and awe-inspiring--aye! and heart-rending,
-without seeking it. That is why we do not like certain kinds of music
-at the Front, why the one-time student of “intense” music develops
-an uncontrollable predilection for wild and woolly rag-time strains,
-and never winces at their execution however faulty. That is why the
-Estaminets sell so much bad beer, and so much _vin mousseux_ under the
-generic title of Champagne.
-
-Men want to forget about Home, for they dare not think of it too much.
-I have never heard a man speak of Home without a little hush in his
-voice, as though he spoke of something sacred that was, and might not
-be again.
-
-How often one heard the remark, a kind of apologia: “One must do
-something.” Yet, in spite of all they do to forget Home, they are
-least happy who have none to forget. Fortunately they are few. It is
-a strange provision of Providence that lends zest to the attempt at
-oblivion, and induces a frame of mind that yearns through that attempt
-for the very things it would fain forget!
-
-After all, it is very much like the school-boy who longs for privacy
-where he can blubber unseen, and is at the same time very glad that he
-has not got it, and _can’t_ blubber, because his school-fellows would
-see him!
-
-A superficial observer might think that the men at the Front are purely
-callous, intent on seizing lustily on every possible chance of doubtful
-and other pleasures that they can obtain. He may think that war has
-brutalised them, numbed their consciences, steeled their hearts. Or he
-may class them as of low intellect. In all of which he is wrong, and
-has utterly failed to grasp the morale of the man who lives to fight
-to-day, never knowing of a certainty if he will see another dawn.
-
-The soldier knows that he may not dwell in his heart on all he holds
-most dear. It “takes the stuffing out of him.” So, according to
-his lights, he works very hard indeed to keep up his spirits; to
-forget. Not _really_ to forget, only to pretend to himself that he is
-forgetting.
-
-What good is it for the man whose sweetheart ran away with the other
-fellow to think about it? Therefore, Tommy rises above his thoughts, he
-puts them away from him--as best he can. And if that best is not all
-that people at home might wish it to be, surely some allowance may be
-made for what may be called the exigencies of the military situation!
-
-Perhaps it is the last thing some people would imagine, but
-homesickness is a very real disease at the Front, and he may count
-himself lucky who escapes it.
-
-“Wot price the Hedgeware Road?” says Bill, ruminatively, as he drinks
-his glass of mild--very mild--beer.
-
-And his pal sums up _his_ feelings in the one word “Blimey!”
-
-If you have seen men go into action, not once, but many times; if you
-have heard them sing, “Oh _my_, I _don’t_ want to die; _I_ want to
-go Home,” “My Little Grey Home in the West,” and many other similar
-ditties, then you will understand.
-
-The very trenches shout it at you, these universal thoughts of Home.
-Look at some of the names: Oxford Street, Petticoat Lane, The Empire,
-Toronto Avenue, Bayou Italien--even the German trenches have their
-Wilhelmstrasse! Each nation in arms is alike in this respect. Every
-front-line soldier longs for Home.
-
-A singer whose voice was chiefly remarkable for its sympathetic
-quality, gave a concert within sound of the guns. A battalion, just
-out of the trenches, went to hear her. She sang several bright little
-songs, every one encored uproariously, and finally she sang one of
-those beautiful Kashmir love songs which go straight to the depths.
-There was a moment’s tense silence when she had finished, and then
-the “house” rocked with applause, followed by a greater trumpeting of
-handkerchiefed noses than was ever before indulged in by any regiment
-_en masse_. She had awakened memories of Home.
-
-There are many who rest beneath foreign skies for whom all earthly
-homes are done with. _They_ have been gathered to the greatest Home of
-all.
-
-
-
-
-ACTION
-
-
-“Message from Head-quarters, sir.” The runner was breathing hard,
-and his eyes were strained and tense-looking. He had not shaved for
-days. Fritz’s “thousand guns on the Somme,” that the papers talk of so
-glibly, were tuning up for business.
-
-Major Ogilvie took the message, read it, and handed it on to me. “Zero
-hour will be at 6.30 P.M. AAA. Our artillery will bombard from 5.30
-to 6.20 P.M., slow continuous, and from 6.20 to 6.29 P.M. hurricane
-fire AAA. You will give all possible assistance, by means of rifle
-and machine-gun fire to ULTRAMARINE, and arrange to reinforce, if
-necessary, in case of heavy counter-attack AAA. ULTRAMARINE will
-indicate that objective has been gained by firing two red rockets
-simultaneously AAA. Please render situation reports every half-hour to
-B.H.Q., A.21.d.1.4½.AAA.”
-
-We looked at each other and smiled a little grimly. To be on the flank
-of an attack is rather worse than to attack, for it means sitting
-tight while Fritz pounds the life out of you.
-
-“You stop here,” said Ogilvie, “in this glory-hole of ours, while I go
-up and see Niven. He will have to put his men in those forward saps. If
-you get any messages, deal with them, and make sure that Townley keeps
-those bombers of his on both sides of the road. They _must_ stop there,
-as long as there are any of them left, or the Hun might try to turn our
-flank. So long.”
-
-He set out towards the north, leaving me in “AK” Coy.’s
-“head-quarters.” The latter consisted of a little niche, three feet
-wide, ran back a foot, and was four feet high, cut in the parapet of
-the front line. The runner, Thomson, one of our own company, was curled
-up in a little cubby-hole at my feet, and had fallen asleep.
-
-It was lonely in that trench, although there were invisible men, not
-thirty feet away, on both sides of me.
-
-The time was 5.25 P.M.
-
-Our guns were still silent. Fritz was warming up more and more. He was
-shelling our right most persistently, putting “the odd shell” around
-head-quarters.
-
-Punctually to the minute our artillery started in. Salvos of heavies,
-way back, shrapnel all along the front line and supports.
-
-A wickedly pretty sight along a thousands yard front: Fritz began to
-get irritated, finally to be alarmed. Up went his red lights, one after
-the other, as he called on his guns, called, and kept on calling.
-They answered the call. Above us the air hissed unceasingly as shells
-passed and exploded in rear. He was putting a barrage on our supports
-and communication trenches. Then he opened up all along our trench.
-High explosive shrapnel, and those thunder-crackling “woolly bears.” I
-wondered where Ogilvie was, if he was all right, and I huddled in close
-to the damp crumbling earth.
-
-It was 5.50 P.M.
-
-“Per-loph-UFF.” An acrid smell of burnt powder, a peculiar, weird
-feeling that my head was bursting, and a dreadful realisation that
-I was pinned in up to my neck, and could not stir. A small shell,
-bursting on graze, had lit in the parapet, just above my head,
-exploded, and buried me up to the neck, and the runner also. He called
-out, but the din was too great for me to hear what he said. I struggled
-until my hands were free, and then with the energy of pure fear tore
-at the shattered sand-bags that weighed me down. Finally I was free to
-bend over to Thomson.
-
-“Are you hurt?”
-
-“No, sir, but I can’t move. I thought you was dead.”
-
-I clawed him out with feverish haste. The air reeked with smoke, and
-the shelling was hellish. Without any cessation shells burst in front
-of, above, and behind the trench; one could feel their hot breath on
-one’s cheek, and once I heard above the din a cry of agony that wrung
-my torn and tattered nerves to a state of anguish.
-
-“Get out of here,” I yelled, and we crawled along the crumbling trench
-to the right.
-
-“Hrrumph!” A five-nine landed just beyond us. I stopped a second.
-“Stretcher-bearer!” came weakly from a dim niche at my side. Huddled
-there was one of my boys. He was wounded in the foot, the leg, the
-chest, and very badly in the arm. It took five minutes to put on a
-tourniquet, and while it was being done a scout lying by my side was
-killed. He cried out once, turned, shivered, and died. I remember
-wondering how his soul could go up to Heaven through that awful
-concentration of fire and stinging smoke.
-
-It was 6.15 P.M.
-
-There were many wounded, many dead, one of those wonderfully brave
-men, a stretcher-bearer, told me, when he came crawling along, with
-blood-stained hands, and his little red-cross case. None of the wounded
-could be moved then, it was impossible. I got a message, and read it
-by the light of the star shells: “Please report at once if enemy are
-shelling your area heavily AAA.” The answer was terse: “Yes AAA.”
-
-Suddenly there was a lull. One of those inexplicable, almost terrifying
-lulls that are almost more awesome than the noise preceding them. I
-heard a voice ten yards away, coming from a vague, shadowy figure lying
-on the ground:
-
-“Are you all right, ‘P.’?” It was Ogilvie.
-
-“Yes. Are you?”
-
-We crawled together, and held a hurried conversation at the top of our
-voices, for the bombardment had now started in with violent intensity
-from our side, as well as from Fritz’s.
-
-“We’ll have to move to the sap, with Niven ... bring ... runners ...
-you ... make ... dash for it.”
-
-“How ... ’bout Townley?”
-
-“’S’all right.”
-
-Then we pulled ourselves together and went for it, stumbling along the
-trench, over heaped-up mounds of earth, past still forms that would
-never move again. On, on, running literally for our lives. At last we
-reached the saps. Two platoons were out there, crowded in a little
-trench a foot and a half wide, nowhere more than four feet deep. Some
-shrapnel burst above it, but it was the old front line, thirty yards in
-rear, on which the Germans were concentrating a fire in which no man
-could live long.
-
-The runners, Major Ogilvie, Niven, and myself, and that amazing
-Sergeant-Major of ours, who would crack a joke with Charon, were all
-together in a few yards of trench.
-
-Our fire ceased suddenly. It was zero hour. In defiance of danger
-Ogilvie stood up, perfectly erect, and watched what was going on. Our
-guns opened again, they had lifted to the enemy supports and lines of
-communication.
-
-“They’re over!” we cried all together.
-
-Machine-guns were rattling in a crescendo of sound that was like the
-noise of a rapid stream above the roar of a water-wheel. The enemy
-sent up rocket upon rocket--three’s, four’s, green and red. Niven, as
-plucky a boy as ever lived, watched eagerly. Then a perfect hail of
-shells began to fall. One could almost see our old trench change its
-form as one glanced at it. It was almost as light as day. Major Ogilvie
-was writing reports. One after another he sent out the runners to
-head-quarters, those runners every one of whom deserves the Victoria
-Cross. Some went never to return.
-
-All at once two red rockets burst away forward, on the right, falling
-slowly, slowly to earth.
-
-ULTRAMARINE had attained the objective.
-
-It was then 6.42 P.M.
-
-Curious, most curious, to see the strain pass momentarily from men’s
-faces. Two runners took the message down. It proved to be the earliest
-news received at H.Q. that the objective was reached.
-
-But the bombardment did not cease, did not slacken. It developed more
-and more furiously. Niven, one of the very best--the boy was killed
-a few weeks after--lay with his body tucked close to the side of the
-trench. I lay with my head very close to his, so that we could talk.
-Major Ogilvie’s legs were curled up with mine. Every now and then he
-sent in a report.
-
-My conversation with Niven was curious. “Have another cigarette?”
-“Thanks, Bertie.” “Fritz is real mad to-night.” “He’s got a reason!”
-“Thank the Lord it isn’t raining.” “Yes.” Pause. “Did you get any
-letters from home?” “Two.... Good thing they can’t see us now!”
-“_Jolly_ good thing!” “Whee-ou, that was close!” “So’s that,” as a
-large lump of earth fell on his steel hat. Pause. “I must get a new
-pair of breeches.” “When?” “Oh, to go on leave with.” “So must I.” We
-relapsed into silence, and from sheer fatigue both of us fell asleep
-for twenty minutes.
-
-I was awakened by Ogilvie, who kicked me gently. “I have had no
-report from Townley or Johnson for nearly two hours”--it was past
-eleven. “I want you to go up to the right and see if you can establish
-communication with them. Can you make it?” “I’ll try, sir.” Our guns
-had quieted down, but Fritz was still pounding as viciously as ever,
-and with more heavy stuff than hitherto. My experience in travelling
-perhaps a quarter of a mile of trench that night was the most awful
-that has befallen me in nearly two years of war at the Front.
-
-The trench was almost empty, for the men had been put in advance of
-it, for the most part. In places it was higher than the level of the
-ground, where great shells had hurled parapet on parados, leaving a
-gaping crater on one side or the other. Fear, a real personal, loathly
-fear, ran at my side. Just as I reached the trench an eight-five
-exploded on the spot I had crossed a second before. The force of the
-explosion threw me on my face, and earth rained down on me. I knelt,
-crouching, by the parapet, my breath coming in long gasps. “Lord, have
-mercy on my soul.” I rushed a few yards madly, up, down, over; another
-pause, while the shells pounded the earth, and great splinters droned.
-I dared not move, and I dared not stay. Every shadow of the trenches
-loomed over me like the menacing memory of some past unforgettable
-misdeed. Looking down I saw a blood-stained bandage in a pool of blood
-at my side, and I could smell that indescribable, fœtid smell of blood,
-bandages, and death. As I went round a traverse, speeding like a hunted
-hare, I stumbled over a man. He groaned deeply as I fell on him. It was
-one of my best N.C.O.’s, mortally wounded. An eternity passed before
-I could find his water-bottle. His face was a yellow mask, his teeth
-chattered against the lip of the water-bottle, his lips were swollen
-and dreadful. He lay gasping. “Can I do anything for you, old man?”
-With a tremendous effort he raised his head a little, and opened wide
-his glazing eyes. “Write ... sir ... to my ... mother.” Then, his head
-on my arm, he died.
-
-On, on, on, the sweat streaming from me, the fear of death at my
-heart. I prayed as I had never prayed before.
-
-At last I found Johnson. He gave me his report, and that of Townley,
-whom he had seen a few moments before. I went back, another awful trip,
-but met Major Ogilvie half-way.
-
-After nine and three-quarter hours, during which they threw all the
-ammunition they possessed at us, the German gunners “let up.” And
-Ogilvie and I went to sleep, along the trench, too weary to care what
-might happen next, to wake at dawn, stiff with cold, chilled to the
-bone, to face another day of “glorious war!”
-
-[Illustration: THE TEMPLE PRESS LETCHWORTH ENGLAND]
-
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-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Canada in war-paint, by Ralph W. Bell</p>
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
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-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Canada in war-paint</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Ralph W. Bell</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: July 30, 2022 [eBook #68654]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: David E. Brown and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CANADA IN WAR-PAINT ***</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter hide"><img src="images/coversmall.jpg" width="450" alt="" /></div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<h1>CANADA IN WAR-PAINT</h1>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="center"><i>All rights reserved</i></p>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/i_004.jpg" alt="" /></div>
-<p class="caption">MULES<br />
-
-<span class="indentleft">(see page <a href="#Page_26">26</a>) &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; <i>From a drawing by Bert Thomas.</i></span></p>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/i_title.jpg" alt="" /></div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-<div class="titlepage">
-<p class="ph2">CANADA<br />
-IN WAR-PAINT</p>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">By</span> CAPT.<br />
-<span class="large">RALPH W. BELL</span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/i_titlelogo.jpg" alt="" /></div>
-
-<p>LONDON AND TORONTO<br />
-<span class="large">J. M. DENT &amp; SONS LTD.</span><br />
-PARIS: J. M. DENT ET FILS<br />
-NEW YORK: E. P. DUTTON &amp; CO.</p>
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<p class="center"><i>First Published in 1917</i></p>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[5]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">PREFACE</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p>There is no attempt made in the little
-sketches which this book contains to deal
-historically with events of the war. It is but
-a small <i>Souvenir de la guerre</i>—a series of
-vignettes of things as they struck me at the
-time, and later. I have written of types, not
-of individuals, and less of action than of
-rest. The horror of war at its worst is fit
-subject for a master hand alone.</p>
-
-<p>I have to thank the proprietors of <i>The
-Globe</i> for their courtesy in allowing the reproduction
-of “Canvas and Mud” and
-“Tent Music,” and of the <i>Canadian Magazine</i>
-for the reproduction of “Martha of Dranvoorde.”</p>
-
-<p>Finally, I feel that I can have no greater
-honour than humbly to dedicate this book<span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[6]</span>
-to the officers, N.C.O.’s and men of the First
-Canadian Infantry Battalion, Ontario Regiment,
-with whom I have spent some of the
-happiest, as well as some of the hardest, days
-of my life.</p>
-
-<p class="right">RALPH W. BELL.</p>
-
-<p>&#160; &#160; <i>December 11th, 1916.</i></p>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[7]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">CONTENTS</h2>
-</div>
-
-<table>
-
-<tr><td class="tdr" colspan="2"><small>PAGE</small></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Canvas and Mud!</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_9"> 9</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Tent Music</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_15"> 15</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Rattle-Snake Pete</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_21"> 21</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mules</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_26"> 26</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td>“<span class="smcap">Office</span>”</td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_31"> 31</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Our Farm</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_37"> 37</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Aeroplanes and “Archie”</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_41"> 41</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Stirring Times</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_47"> 47</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Sick Parade</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_53"> 53</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Batmen</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_60"> 60</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Rations</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_67"> 67</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Our Scout Officer</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_73"> 73</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Martha of Dranvoorde</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_78"> 78</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Courcelette</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_89"> 89</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Carnage</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_101"> 101</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">“A” Company Rustles</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_106"> 106</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td>“<span class="smcap">Minnie and ‘Family’</span>”</td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_113"> 113</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">An Officer and Gentleman</span> &#160; &#160;</td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_118"> 118</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td>“S.R.D.”</td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_123"> 123</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Beds</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_128"> 128</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Marching</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_134"> 134</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">The Natives</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_140"> 140</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td>“<span class="smcap">Other Inhabitants</span>”</td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_147"> 147</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Bombs</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_153"> 153</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Soft Jobs</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_158"> 158</a><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[8]</span></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td>“<span class="smcap">Grouse</span>”</td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_163"> 163</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Pansies</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_169"> 169</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Going Back</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_174"> 174</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Three Red Roses</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_181"> 181</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Adjutants</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_187"> 187</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Home</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_193"> 193</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><span class="smcap">Action</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_198"> 198</a></td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[9]</span>
-
-<p class="ph2">CANADA IN WAR-PAINT</p>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="CANVAS_AND_MUD">CANVAS AND MUD!</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">To</span> those men who, in days of peace,
-have trained on the swelling, lightly-wooded
-plains round about Salisbury, no doubt this
-portion of Old England may seem a very
-pleasant land. But they have not been there
-in November under canvas. When the old
-soldiers of the Canadian contingent heard
-that we were to go to “the Plains,” some of
-them said, “S’elp me!” and some a great
-deal more! It was an ideal day when we
-arrived. The trees were russet brown and
-beautiful under the October sun, the grass
-still green, and the winding road through
-picturesque little Amesbury white and hard,
-conveying no hint of that mud for which we
-have come to feel a positive awe.</p>
-
-<p>At first we all liked our camp; it was high
-and dry, the tents had floor-boards, that
-traitorous grass was green and firm withal,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[10]</span>
-and a balmy breeze, follower of the Indian
-summer, blew pleasantly over the wide-rolling
-land. We liked it after the somewhat arid
-climate of Valcartier, the sand and dust.
-Then it began to rain. It rained one day, two
-days, three days. During that time the camp
-named after the fabulous bird became a very
-quagmire. The sullen black mud was three
-inches deep between the tent lines, on the
-parade ground, on the road, where it was
-pounded and ridged and rolling-pinned by
-transports, troops, and general traffic; it introduced
-itself into the tents in slimy blodges,
-ruined the flawless shine of every “New
-Guard’s” boots, spattered men from head to
-foot stickily and persistently. The mud
-entered into our minds, our thoughts were
-turbid. Some enterprising passer-by called us
-mud-larks, and mud-larks we have remained.</p>
-
-<p>Canadians think Salisbury Plains a hideous
-spot. Those who have been there before
-know better, but it were suicide to say so,
-for we have reached the rubber-boot stage.
-When the rain “lets up” we go forth with
-picks and spades and clean the highways
-and byways. Canadians do it with a settled<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[11]</span>
-gloom. If the Kaiser tries to land forces in
-England they hope he will come to Salisbury
-with his hordes. There they will stick fast.
-In the fine intervals we train squelchily and
-yearn for the trenches. What matters the
-mire when one is at the front, but to slide
-gracefully into a pool of turgid water, in
-heavy marching order, for practice only, is
-hardly good enough. Most Canadians think
-the concentration camp might preferably
-have been at the North Pole, if Amundsen
-would lend it, and we could occupy it without
-committing a breach of neutrality.</p>
-
-<p>That brings us to the cold weather, of which
-we have had a foretaste. It was freezing a few
-days ago. The ground, the wash-taps, and we
-ourselves, all were frozen. A cheerful Wiltshireman
-passed along the highway. There
-was a bitter damp north wind; despite the
-frost everything seemed to be clammy. “Nice
-weather for you Canadians,” he shouted
-happily. Luckily we had no bayonets. It is
-quite natural that in this country it should
-be thought that Canadians love cold weather
-and welcome it. But there is cold and cold.
-The Salisbury Plains type is of the “and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[12]</span>
-cold” variety! It steals in through the tent
-flaps with a “chilth” that damply clings. It
-rusts rifles, blues noses, hoarsens the voice,
-wheezes into the lungs. It catches on to the
-woollen filaments of blankets and runs into
-them, it seeks out the hidden gaps in canvas
-walls and steals within, it crawls beneath
-four blankets—when one has been able to steal
-an extra one—through overcoats, sweaters, up
-the legs of trousers, into under-garments, and
-at last finds gelid rest against the quivering
-flesh, eating its way into the marrow-bones.
-Like the enemy, it advances in massed formation,
-and though stoves may dissipate platoon
-after platoon it never ceases to send up reinforcements
-until a whining gale has seized
-on the tent-ropes, squeaks at the poles, draws
-in vain at the pegs, tears open loose flaps,
-and veering round brings back sodden rain
-and the perpetual, the everlasting mud. We
-know the hard, cold bite of “20 below,” the
-crisp snow, the echoing land, the crackling of
-splitting trees, even frost-bite. But it is a
-dry cold, and it comes: “Whish!” This
-cold of England’s creeps into the very heart.
-It takes mean advantages. “Give me the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[13]</span>
-Yukon any old time,” says the hard-bitten
-shivering stalwart of the north-west. “This,
-this, it ain’t kinder playin’ the game.”</p>
-
-<p>It must not be thought that Canadians are
-complaining, for they are not. But England’s
-climate is to them something unknown and
-unspeakably vile! One must have been
-brought up in it to appreciate and to anticipate
-its vagaries. Canadians feel they have
-been misled. They expected English cold
-weather to be a “cinch.” But it’s the weather
-puts the “cinch” on, not they! There will
-come a time when we shall be in huts, and
-the leaky old canvas tents that are now our
-habitat will have been folded and—we hope
-for the benefit of others—stolen away! Those
-tents have seen so much service that they
-know just as well how to leak as an old charger
-how to drill. They become animated—even
-gay—when the wind-beaten rain darkens their
-grimy flanks, and with fiendish ingenuity they
-drip, drip, drip down the nape of the neck,
-well into the eye, even plumb down the throat
-of the open-mouthed, snoring son of the
-maple-land.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[14]</span>No matter, we shall be old campaigners
-when the winter is over; old mud-larkers, as
-impervious to wet earth as a worm. Even
-the mud is good training for the time we shall
-have in the trenches!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[15]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">TENT MUSIC</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">It</span> is not often that Thomas Atkins of any
-nationality wears his heart upon his sleeve,
-and it is quite certain that the British Tommy
-but rarely does so, or his confrere of the
-Canadian Contingent. Perhaps he best shows
-his thoughts and relieves his feelings in
-song.</p>
-
-<p>Salisbury Plains must have seen and heard
-many things, yet few stranger sounds can
-have been heard there than the chants which
-rise from dimly-lighted canvas walls, when
-night has shrouded the earth, and the stars
-gleam palely through the mist. It is the habit
-of the Canadian Mr. Atkins, ere he prepares
-himself for rest, to set his throat a-throbbing
-to many a tune both new and old. The result
-is not invariably musical—sometimes far from
-it, but it is a species of sound the male creature
-produces either to show his “gladness or his
-sadness,” and by means of which he relieves<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[16]</span>
-a heavy heart, or indicates that in his humble
-opinion “all’s well with the world.” On every
-side, from almost every tent, there is harmony,
-melody, trio, quartette, chorus, or—noise! It
-is a strange mixture of thoughts and things,
-a peculiar vocal photograph of the men of
-the Maple, now admirable, now discordant,
-here ribald, there rather tinged with the
-pathetic.</p>
-
-<p>No programme-maker in his wildest
-moments, in the throes of the most conflicting
-emotions, could begin to evolve such a
-varied, such a startling programme as may
-be heard in the space of a short half-hour
-under canvas—in a rain-sodden, comfortless
-tent—anywhere on Salisbury Plains. It does
-not matter who begins it; some one is “feeling
-good,” and he lifts up his voice to declaim
-that “You made me love you; I didn’t want
-to do it!” The rest join in, here a tenor,
-there a bass or a baritone, and the impromptu
-concert has begun.</p>
-
-<p>Never have the writers of songs, the composers
-of music, grave and gay, come more
-into their own than among the incorrigibly
-cheerful warriors of the Plains. The relative<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[17]</span>
-merits of composers are not discussed. They
-are all good enough for Jock Canuck as long
-as there is that nameless something in the
-song or the music which appeals to him. It is
-curious that we who hope to slay, and expect
-to be slain—many of us—should sing with
-preference of Killarney’s lakes and fells,
-“Sunnybrook Farm,” “Silver Threads Among
-the Gold,” rather than some War Chant or
-Patriotic Ode, something visionary of battle-fields,
-guns, the crash of shells. Is not this
-alone sufficient to show that beneath his
-tunic, and in spite of his martial spirit, Tommy
-“has a heart,” and a very warm one?</p>
-
-<p>Picture to yourself a tent with grimy,
-sodden sides, lighted by three or four guttering
-candle-ends, stuck wherever space or ingenuity
-permits. An atmosphere tobacco
-laden, but not stuffy, rifles piled round the
-tent-pole, haversacks, “dunnage” bags,
-blankets, and oil-sheets spread about, and
-their owners, some of them lying on the floor
-wrapped in blankets, some seated, one or two
-perhaps reading or writing in cramped positions,
-yet quite content. Yonder is a lusty
-Yorkshireman, big, blue-eyed, and fair, who<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[18]</span>
-for some reason best known to himself <i>will</i>
-call himself an Irishman. We know him as
-“the man with three voices,” for he has a
-rich, tuneful, though uncultivated tenor, a
-wonderful falsetto, and a good alto. His
-tricks are remarkable, but his ear is fine. He
-loves to lie sprawled on his great back, and
-lift up his voice to the skies. All the words
-of half the old and new songs of two peoples,
-British and American, he has committed to
-memory. He is our “leading man,” a shining
-light in the concert firmament. We have heard
-and helped him to sing in the course of one
-crowded period of thirty minutes the following
-varied programme: “Tipperary,” “Silver
-Threads Among the Gold,” “My Old Kentucky
-Home,” “Fight the Good Fight,”
-“A Wee Deoch an’ Doris,” “When the Midnight
-Choochoo Leaves for Alabam,” “The
-Maple Leaf,” “Cock Robin,” “Get Out and
-Get Under,” “Where is My Wandering Boy
-To-Night,” “Nearer, My God, to Thee,” and
-“I Stand in a Land of Roses, though I Dream
-of a Land of Snow.” But there is one song we
-never sing, “Home, Sweet Home.” Home is
-too sacred a subject with us; it touches the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[19]</span>
-deeper, aye, the deepest, chords, and we dare
-not risk it, exiles that we are.</p>
-
-<p>Very often there are strange paradoxes in
-the words we sing, when compared with
-reality.... “I stand in a land of roses!”
-Well, not exactly, although Salisbury Plains
-in the summer time are, like the curate’s egg,
-“good in parts.” But the following line is
-true enough of many of us. We do “dream
-of a land of snow”; of the land, and those
-far, far away in it. Sometimes we sing “rag-time
-melodee,” but that is only <i>pour passer
-le temps</i>. There is something which prompts
-us to other songs, and to sacred music. It
-often happens that in our tent there are three
-or four men with voices above the average
-who take a real delight in singing. One of
-the most beautiful things of the kind the
-writer has ever heard was a quartette’s singing
-of “Nearer, My God, to Thee.” Fine,
-well-trained voices they possessed, blending
-truly and harmoniously, which rang out
-almost triumphal in the frosty night. They
-sang it once, and then again, and as the last
-notes died away the bugles sounded the
-“Last Post.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[20]</span>Taa-Taa, Taa-Taa, Ta-ta-ti-ti-ti-ti-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.
-Ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ta-ta-ta-ta-taa, Taa-Taa,
-Taa-Taa, Taaa, Tiii!</p>
-
-<p>Verily, even under canvas music <i>hath</i>
-charms to soothe the savage breast.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[21]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">RATTLE-SNAKE PETE</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Very</span> tall, thin, and cadaverous, with a strong
-aquiline nose, deep-set, piercing black eyes,
-bushy eyebrows matching them in colour, and
-a heavy, fiercely waxed moustache, streaked
-with grey, he was a man who commanded
-respect, if not fear.</p>
-
-<p>In spite of his sixty years he was as
-straight as the proverbial poker, and as
-“nippy on his pins” as a boy a third of his
-age. Two ribbons rested on his left breast—the
-long service ribbon and that of the North-West
-Rebellion. His voice was not harsh,
-nor was it melodious, but it could be heard
-a mile off and struck pure terror into the
-heart of the evil-doer when he heard it!
-Rattle-Snake Pete was, as a matter of fact,
-our Company Sergeant-Major.</p>
-
-<p>Withering was the scorn with which he
-surveyed a delinquent “rooky,” while his
-eyes shot flame, and in the terrified imagination
-of the unfortunate being on whom that<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[22]</span>
-fierce gaze was bent his ears seemed to curve
-upwards into horns, until he recalled the
-popular conception of Mephistopheles! We
-called him—when he was safely beyond hearing—Rattle-Snake
-Pete, but that worthy
-bravo was far less feared than was his namesake.</p>
-
-<p>First of all, the Sergeant-Major was a real
-soldier, from the nails in his boots to the crown
-of his hat. Secondly, he was a man of strong
-prejudices, and keen dislikes, and, lastly, a
-very human, unselfish, kind-hearted man.</p>
-
-<p>Discipline was his God, smartness on parade
-and off the greatest virtue in man, with the
-exception of pluck. He ruled with a rod of
-iron, tempered by justice, and his keenness
-was a thing to marvel at. At first we all hated
-him with a pure-souled hate. Then, as he
-licked us into shape, and the seeds of soldiering
-were sown, we began to realise that he
-was right, and that we were wrong—and that,
-after all, the only safe thing to do was to obey!</p>
-
-<p>One day a man was slow in doing what his
-corporal told him to do. As was his habit,
-the S.-M. came on the scene suddenly, a lean
-tower of steely wrath. After he had poured<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[23]</span>
-out the vials of his displeasure on the head
-of the erring one, he added: “I’ll make you
-a soldier, lad, or I’ll break your heart!” He
-meant it; he could do it; we knew he could,
-and it resulted in our company being the
-best in the regiment.</p>
-
-<p>Shortly before we moved to France, a personage
-and his consort inspected us. He
-shook hands with Rattle-Snake, and spoke
-to him for several moments.</p>
-
-<p>“How old are you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Forty-five, Your Majesty.”</p>
-
-<p>“Military age, I suppose?” queried the
-Personage with a kindly smile.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, sir.”</p>
-
-<p>Never in his life was Rattle so happy as he
-was that day, and we felt rather proud of
-him ourselves.</p>
-
-<p><i>Our</i> Sergeant-Major had shaken hands with
-the King!</p>
-
-<p>Those who had stood near enough to hear
-what had passed achieved a temporary fame
-thereby, and in tent and canteen the story
-was told, with variations suited to the imagination
-of the raconteur, for days after the
-event.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[24]</span>When we moved to France Rattle-Snake
-Pete came with us. I think the doctor saw it
-would have broken his heart not to come,
-although at his age he certainly should not
-have done so. But come he did, and never
-will the writer forget the day Rattle pursued
-him into an old loft, up a broken, almost perpendicular
-ladder, to inquire in a voice of
-thunder why a certain fatigue party was
-minus a man.</p>
-
-<p>“Come you down out of there, lad, or
-you’ll be for it!” And, meekly as a sucking-dove,
-I came!</p>
-
-<p>He was wounded at the second battle of
-Ypres, and, according to all accounts, what
-he said about the Germans as he lay on that
-battle-field petrified the wounded around him,
-and was audible above the roar of bursting
-Jack Johnsons.</p>
-
-<p>They sent him to hospital in “Blighty,”
-an unwilling patient, and there he has been
-eating out his heart ever since, in the face of
-adamantine medical boards.</p>
-
-<p>One little incident. We were billeted in
-an old theatre, years ago it seems now, at
-Armentières. We had marched many kilometres<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[25]</span>
-in soaking rain that afternoon, and we
-were deadly weary. Rattle, though he said
-no word, was ill, suffering agonies from rheumatism.
-One could see it. Being on guard, I
-was able to see more than the rest, who, for
-the most part, slept the sleep of the tired out.
-One fellow was quite ill, and he tossed and
-turned a good deal in his sleep. Rattle was
-awake too, sitting in front of the dying embers
-in the stove, his face every now and then contorted
-with pain. Often he would go over to
-the sick man and arrange his bed for him as
-gently as a woman. Then he himself lay
-down. The sick man awoke, and I heard his
-teeth chatter. “Cold, lad?” said a deep
-voice near by. “Yes, bitter cold.” The old
-S.-M. got up, took his own blanket and put
-it over the sick man. Thereafter he sat until
-the dawn broke on a rickety chair in front of
-the dead fire.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[26]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">MULES</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Until</span> there was a war, quite a lot of people
-hardly knew there were such things as mules.
-“Mules?” they would say, “Oh, er, yes ...
-those creatures with donkey’s ears, made like
-a horse? or do you mean canaries?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Nous avons changé tout cela!</i> “Gonga Din”
-holds no hidden meaning from us now. We
-have, indeed, a respect for mules, graded
-according to closeness of contact.</p>
-
-<p>In some Transports they think more of a
-mule than of a first-class, No. 1 charger.
-Why? Simply because a mule is—a mule.
-No one has yet written a theory of the evolution
-of mules. We all know a mule is a blend
-of horse and donkey, and that reproduction
-of the species is mercifully withheld by the
-grace of heaven, but further than that we do
-not go.</p>
-
-<p>When the war began our C.O. was talking
-about mules. We had not crossed the water<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[27]</span>
-then. He said: “I will <i>not</i> have any mules.
-No civilised man should have to look after a
-mule. When I was in Pindi once, a mule
-... Mr. Jenks”—our worthy Transport
-Officer—“there will be no mules in this regiment.”
-That settled it for a while.</p>
-
-<p>Our first mule came a month after we had
-landed in Flanders. It was a large, lean,
-hungry-looking mule. It stood about 17 feet
-2 inches, and it had very large floppy ears
-and a long tail: it was rather a high-class
-mule, as mules go. It ate an awful lot. In
-fact it ate about as much as two horses
-and a donkey put together. The first time it
-was used some one put it in the Maltese cart,
-and it looked round at the cart with an air
-of surprise and regret. We were on the move,
-and the Transport was brigaded, and inspected
-by the Brigadier as it passed the
-starting point. James—the mule—behaved
-in a most exemplary fashion until he saw the
-Brigadier. Then he was overcome by his
-emotions. Perhaps the red tabs reminded
-him of carrots. (James was a pure hog where
-carrots were concerned.) At all events he
-proceeded to break up the march. He took<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[28]</span>
-the bit between his teeth, wheeled to the left,
-rolled his eyes, brayed, and charged across
-an open ditch at the G.O.C. with the Maltese
-cart.</p>
-
-<p>The G.O.C. and staff extended to indefinite
-intervals without any word of command.</p>
-
-<p>James pulled up in a turnip patch and
-began to eat contentedly. It took six men
-and the Transport Officer to get him on to
-the road again, and the Maltese cart was a
-wreck.</p>
-
-<p>After that they tried him as a pack-mule.
-He behaved like an angel for two whole weeks,
-and then some bright-eyed boy tried him as a
-saddle mule. After that the whole of the Transport
-tried him, retiring worsted from the fray
-on each occasion. One day the Transport
-Officer bet all-comers fifty francs on the mule.
-The conditions were that riders must stick on
-for five minutes. We used to think we could
-ride any horse ever foaled. We used to fancy
-ourselves quite a lot in fact, until we met
-James. Half the battalion came to see the
-show, which took place one sunny morning at
-the Transport lines. We looked James over
-with an appraising eye. We even gave him a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[29]</span>
-carrot, as an earnest of goodwill. James
-wore a placid, far-away expression and, now
-and then, rolled his eyes sentimentally.</p>
-
-<p>We gathered up the reins, and vaulted on
-to his back. For a full two seconds James
-stood stock still. Then he emitted an ear-splitting
-squeal, laid back his ears, bared his
-teeth, turned round and bit at the near foot,
-and sat down on his hind legs. He did all
-these things in quick time, by numbers. The
-betting, which had started at 2-1 on James,
-increased to 3-1 immediately. However, we
-stuck. James rose with a mighty heave, then,
-still squealing, made a rush of perhaps ten
-yards, and stopped dead. We still stuck. The
-betting fell to evens, except for the Transport
-Sergeant, who in loud tones offered 5-1
-(on James). That kept him busy for two
-minutes, during which time James did almost
-everything but roll, and bit a toe off one of
-my new pair of riding boots.</p>
-
-<p>There was one minute to go, and there was
-great excitement. James gave one squeal of
-concentrated wrath, gathered his four hoofs
-together tightly, bucked four feet in the air,
-kicked in mid-ether, and tried to bite his own<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[30]</span>
-tail. When we next saw him he was being
-led gently away.</p>
-
-<p>Since then we have had many mules. We
-have become used to them, and we respect
-them. If we hear riot in the Transport lines
-we know it is a mule. If we hear some one
-has been kicked, we know it is a mule. If we
-see one of the G.S. wagons carrying about
-two tons we know mules are drawing it. Old
-James now pulls the water-cart. He would
-draw it up to the mouth of the biggest Fritz
-cannon that ever was, but Frank Wootton
-could not ride him!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[31]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">“OFFICE”</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p>“<span class="smcap">Charge</span> against No. 7762543, Private Smith,
-J.C.; In the field, 11.11.16, refusing to obey
-an order, in that he would not wash out a
-dixie when ordered to do so. First witness,
-Sergeant Bendrick.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sirr! On Nov. 11th I was horderly
-sergeant. Private Thomas, cook, comes to
-me, and he says as ’ow ’e ’ad warned the
-pris— the haccused, sir, to wash out a dixie,
-which same the haccused refused to do.
-Hordered by me to wash hout the dixie, sir,
-the haccused refused again, and I places ’im
-under hopen arrest, sir.”</p>
-
-<p>“Cpl. Townsham, what have you to say?”</p>
-
-<p>“Sirr! On Nov. 11th I was eatin’ a piece
-of bread an’ bacon when I was witness to
-what took place between Sergeant Bendrick
-an’ Private Smith, sir. I corroborates his
-evidence.”</p>
-
-<p>“All right; Private Thomas?”</p>
-
-<p>“Sirr! I coboriates both of them witnesses.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[32]</span>“You corroborate what both witnesses
-have said?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yessir.”</p>
-
-<p>“Now, Smith, what have you got to say?
-Stand to attention!”</p>
-
-<p>“I ain’t got <i>nothin’</i> to say, sir, savin’ that
-I never joined the army to wash dixies, an’ I
-didn’t like the tone of voice him”—indicating
-the orderly Sergeant—“used to me. Also
-I’m a little deaf, sir, an’ my ’ands is that cut
-with barbed wire that it’s hagony to put ’em
-in boilin’ water, sir! An’ I’m afraid o’ gettin’
-these ’ere germs into them, sir. Apart from
-which I ain’t got anything to say, sir!”</p>
-
-<p>After this Private Smith assumes the injured
-air of a martyr, casts his eyes up to
-heaven, and waits hopefully for dismissal.
-(The other two similar cases were dismissed
-this morning!)</p>
-
-<p>The Captain drums his fingers on the table
-for a few moments. “This is your first offence,
-Smith.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yessir!”</p>
-
-<p>“But it is not made any the less serious by
-that fact.”</p>
-
-<p>The gleam of joy in Smith’s eye departs.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[33]</span>“Disobedience of an order is no trivial
-matter. A case like this should go before the
-Commanding Officer.”</p>
-
-<p>Long pause, during which the accused
-passes from the stage of hope deferred to
-gloom and disillusion, and the orderly Sergeant
-assumes a fiercely triumphant expression.</p>
-
-<p>“Twenty-eight days Field Punishment
-number one,” murmurs the Captain ruminatively,
-“or a court-martial”—this just loud
-enough for the accused to hear. The latter’s
-left leg sags a trifle, and consternation o’erspreads
-his visage.</p>
-
-<p>“In view, Smith,” says the Captain aloud,
-“in view of your previous good record, I will
-deal with you myself. Four days dixie washing,
-and you will attend all parades!”</p>
-
-<p>Before Private Smith has time to heave a
-sigh of relief the C.S.M.’s voice breaks on the
-air, “Left turrn! Left wheel, quick marrch!”</p>
-
-<p>“A good man, Sergeant-Major,” says the
-Captain with a smile. “Have to scare ’em a
-bit at times, what?”</p>
-
-<p>Battalion Orderly Room is generally a very
-imposing affair, calculated to put fear into
-the hearts of all save the most hardened<span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[34]</span>
-criminals. At times the array is formidable,
-as many as thirty—witnesses, escort, and
-prisoners—being lined up outside the orderly
-room door under the vigilant eye of the
-Regimental Sergeant-Major. It is easy to
-see which is which, even were not the “dress”
-different. The prisoners are in clean fatigue,
-wearing no accoutrements or equipment beyond
-the eternal smoke-helmet. The escort
-are in light marching order, and grasp in
-their left hands a naked bayonet, point
-upwards, resting along the forearm. The
-witnesses wear their belts. Most of the accused
-have a hang-dog look, some an air of defiance.</p>
-
-<p>“Escort and prisoners.... Shun!”</p>
-
-<p>The Colonel passes into orderly room,
-where the Adjutant, the Battalion Orderly
-Officer, and Officer witnesses in the cases to
-be disposed of await him, all coming rigidly
-to attention as he enters. In orderly room, or
-“office” as the men usually call it, the
-Colonel commands the deference paid to a
-high court judge. He is not merely a C.O., he
-is an Institution.</p>
-
-<p>The R.S.M. hovers in the background,
-waiting for orders to call the accused and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[35]</span>
-witnesses in the first case. The C.O. fusses
-with the papers on his desk, hums and haws,
-and finally decides which case he will take
-first. The Adjutant stands near him, a sheaf
-of papers in his hand, like a learnéd crown
-counsel.</p>
-
-<p>Not infrequently the trend of a case depends
-on whether the C.O. lunched well, or
-if the G.O.C. strafed or complimented him
-the last time they held palaver. Even colonels
-are human.</p>
-
-<p>“Charge against Private Maconochie, No.
-170298, drunk,” etc., reads the Adjutant.</p>
-
-<p>After the evidence has been heard the
-Colonel, having had no explanation or defence
-from the accused, proceeds to pass
-sentence. This being a first “drunk” he
-cannot do very much but talk, and talk he
-does.</p>
-
-<p>“You were drunk, Thomkins. You were
-found in a state of absolutely sodden intoxication,
-found in the main street of Ablain-le-Petit
-at 4 <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span> in the afternoon. You were
-so drunk that the evidence quotes you as
-sleeping on the side-walk. You are a disgrace
-to the regiment, Thomkins! You outrage the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[36]</span>
-first principles of decency, you cast a slur on
-your battalion. You deliberately, of set purpose,
-intoxicate yourself at an early hour of
-the afternoon. I have a good mind to remand
-for a Field General Court-martial. Then you
-would be shot! Shot, do you understand?
-But I shall deal with you myself. I shall
-not permit the name of this battalion to be
-besmirched by <i>you</i>. Reprimanded! Reprimanded!
-Do you hear, sir!”</p>
-
-<p>(Voice of the R.S.M., north front.) “Right
-turn. Right wheel; quick marrch!”</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[37]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">OUR FARM</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class="right"><i>July 30th, 1916.</i></p>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">We</span> are staying at a farm; quite an orthodox,
-Bairnsfather farm, except that in lieu of one
-(nominal) dead cow, we possess one (actual)
-portion of Dried Hun. The view from our
-doorway is somewhat extensive, and full of
-local colour! There are “steen” other farms
-all around us, all of which look as though they
-had been played with by professional house-wreckers
-out on a “beno.” “AK” Company—what
-there is left of it—has at present
-“gone to ground,” and from the lake to
-“Guildhall Manor” (we are very Toney over
-here!) there is no sign of life. A Fokker
-dropped in to call half an hour ago, but
-Archie &amp; Sons awoke with some alacrity, and
-he has gone elsewhere. It is too hot even to
-write, and the C.O. of “AK” Coy., who <i>will</i>
-wash every day, is a disturbing influence.
-He splashes about in two inches of “wipers
-swill” as though he really liked it, and the
-nett result is that somewhere around 4 “pip<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[38]</span>
-emma” the rest of us decide to shave also,
-which ruins the afternoon siesta.</p>
-
-<p>This is a great life. Breakfast at 2 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span>,
-lunch at noon, dinner at 4 <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span>, and supper
-any old time.</p>
-
-<p>Macpherson—one of those enthusiastic
-blighters—insisted on taking me for a walk
-this morning. Being pure Edinburgh, Mac
-collects rum, whisky, and miscellaneous junk
-of all descriptions. When he returns to Canada
-he intends to run a junk shop in rear of a
-saloon.</p>
-
-<p>The Boche was in a genial mood this morning.
-As we squelched along Flossy way, “out
-for bear,” he began to tickle up poor old
-Paradise Wood with woolly bears, and Mount
-Sparrow with Minnies. Mac has no sense of
-humour, he failed to see the joke. “There is
-a pairfectly good pair of field-glasses to the
-left of Diamond Copse,” he said mournfully,
-“and we cannot get them.” Diamond Copse
-is the sort of place one reads about, and
-wishes one had never seen. It is about an
-acre and a half in extent, and was once a
-pretty place enough, with a few fine oak
-trees, and many young saplings. Nowadays,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[39]</span>
-it can hardly show a live twig, while shell-holes,
-bits of shrapnel, stinking pools tinged
-with reddy-brown, and forlorn remnants of
-trench—not to speak of dead bodies—make
-it into a nightmare of a place.</p>
-
-<p>“There is a sniper in Paradise Wood, and
-I do not like him,” Mac announced gravely,
-after the fifth bullet, so we dodged over a
-grave, under a fallen oak, and into a shell-wrecked
-dug-out full of torn web equipment,
-machine-gun belts, old bully-beef,
-biscuits, a stained blanket, and a boot with
-part of the wearer’s leg in it. The horse-flies
-were very annoying, and a dead donkey in a
-narrow street of Cairo would be as violets to
-patchouli compared with the smell. Mac
-kept nosing around, and finally retrieved a
-safety razor and a box of number nine pills
-from an old overcoat. “There is some one
-over there in need of burial,” he said, “I
-can see the flies.” The flies were incidental,
-but Mac is that kind of chap.</p>
-
-<p>We found what was left of the poor fellow
-near by. There was nothing but bone and
-sinew, and torn remnants of clothing. It
-was impossible to identify the man, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[40]</span>
-equally impossible to move him. By his
-side lay a bunch of letters, dirty and torn,
-and in a pocket which I opened gingerly with
-a jack-knife, a photograph of a girl—“With
-love, from Mary.” The letters had no envelopes,
-and all began, “Dear Jimmy.” Mac
-read one, and passed it over to me: “Dear
-Jimmy,—Enclosed you will find a pair of
-socks, some chewing gum, and a pair of wool
-gloves I knitted myself. The baby is well,
-and so am I. Peraps you will get leeve before
-long. Take care of yourself, Jim dear. The
-pottatoes have done good, an’ I am growing
-some tommatos. My separashun allowence
-comes reglar, so don’t worry. You will be
-home soon, Jim, for the papers say the Germans
-is beaten. I got your letter written in
-May. Alice is well. Your lovin’ wife, Mary.”
-“Och, it’s a shame,” said Mac, not looking at
-me. “A Tragedy, and but one of thousands.”</p>
-
-<p>We covered poor Jim over with old sand-bags,
-as best we might, and his letters and
-photograph with him. Then we came back
-to our farm to lunch.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[41]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">AEROPLANES AND “ARCHIE”</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">There</span> is something fascinating about aeroplanes.
-However many thousands of them
-one may have seen, however many aerial
-combats one may have witnessed, there is
-always the desire to see these things again,
-and, inwardly, to marvel.</p>
-
-<p>Ten thousand feet above, round balls of
-black smoke appear in the blue sky, coming,
-as it were, out of the nowhere into here. After
-long listening you hear the echo of the distant
-explosion, like the clapping together of the
-hands of a man in the aisle of an empty
-church, and if you search very diligently, you
-will at last see the aeroplane, a little dot in
-the ether, moving almost slowly—so it appears—on
-its appointed course. Now the
-sun strikes the white-winged, bird-like thing
-as it turns, and it glitters in the beams of
-light like a diamond in the sky. Now it banks
-a little higher, now planes down at a dizzy<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[42]</span>
-angle. Suddenly, short, sharp, distinct, you
-catch the sound of machine-gun fire. Quick
-stuttering bursts, as the visible machine and
-the invisible enemy circle about each other,
-seeking to wound, wing, and destroy. Ah!
-There it is! The Fokker dives, steep and
-straight, at our machine, and one can clearly
-see the little darts of flame as the machine-guns
-rattle. Our man quite calmly loops the
-loop, and then seems almost to skid after the
-Fokker which has carried on downwards,
-evidently hit. He swoops down on the stricken
-plane, pumping in lead as he goes. The twain
-seem to meet in collision, then—yes, the
-Fokker is plunging, nose-diving, down, down,
-at a terrific rate of speed. Our aviator swings
-free in a great circle, banks, and at top speed
-makes back to his air-line patrol, while the
-German Archies open up on him with redoubled
-violence, as, serenely confident, he
-hums along his way.</p>
-
-<p>It is truly wonderful what a fire an aeroplane
-can pass through quite unscathed as
-far as actual hinderance to flight is concerned.
-Many a time you can count nearly two hundred
-wreathing balls of smoke in the track of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[43]</span>
-the machine, and yet it sails placidly onward
-as though the air were the native element of
-its pilot and the attentions of Archie nonexistent.</p>
-
-<p>It is Tommy who first gave the anti-aircraft
-gun that euphonious name. Why, no
-one knows. It must be intensely trying to be
-an Archie gunner. Rather like shooting at
-driven partridges with an air-gun, though far
-more exciting. The shells may burst right on
-the nose of the aeroplane, to all intents and
-purposes, and yet the machine goes on, veering
-this way or that, dropping or rising,
-apparently quite indifferent to the bitter feelings
-it is causing down below. It is the most
-haughty and inscrutable of all the weapons
-of war, to all outward appearances, and yet
-when misfortune overtakes it, it is a very
-lame duck indeed.</p>
-
-<p>Archie is very much like a dog, his bark is
-worse than his bite—until he has bitten! His
-motto is “persevere,” and in the long run he
-meets with some success. Halcyon days, when
-he wags his metaphorical tail and the official
-communiqués pat him on the head. He does
-not like other dogs, bigger dogs, to bark at<span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[44]</span>
-him. They quite drown his own bark, so that
-it is useless to bark back, and their highly
-explosive nature forces him to put his tail
-between his legs and run for it, like a chow
-pursued by a mastiff. No common-sense
-Archie stops in any place long after the five-nines
-and the H.E. shrapnel begin to burst
-around it. In that case discretion is indubitably
-the better part of valour.</p>
-
-<p>Aeroplanes have a nasty habit of “spotting”
-Archies, whereby they even up old
-scores and prove their superiority. For even
-the lordly aeroplane does not charge an Archie
-barrage by preference.</p>
-
-<p>It is when the planes come out in force, a
-score at a time, that poor Archibald has a
-rough time, and, so to speak, scratches his
-ear desperately with his hind leg. The planes
-do not come in serried mass, but, wheeling
-this way and that, diving off here and down
-yonder, so confuse poor Archie that he even
-stops barking at all, wondering which one
-he ought to bark at first! By this time most
-of the planes have sidled gracefully out of
-range, rounded up and driven down the iron-cross
-birds, and, having dropped their “cartes<span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[45]</span>
-de visite” at the rail-head, are returning by
-ways that are swift and various to the place
-whence they came. All of which is most unsettling
-to the soul of Archibald.</p>
-
-<p>In the evening, when the west is pink and
-gold, Archie’s eyes grow wearied. He sees
-dimly many aeroplanes, here and there, going
-and coming, and he <i>has</i> been known to bark
-at the wrong one! Wherefore the homing
-aeroplane drops a star-signal very often to
-let him know that all is well, and that no
-German hawks menace the safety of the land
-over which he is the “ethereal” guardian, in
-theory, if not always in practice.</p>
-
-<p>At night Archie slumbers profoundly. But
-the birds of the air do not always sleep.
-Many a night one hears the throb and hum
-of a machine crossing the line, and because
-Archie is asleep we pay him unconscious
-tribute: “Is it ours, or theirs?”</p>
-
-<p>Once, not a mile from the front line, Archie
-dreamed he saw a Zeppelin. He awoke, stood
-to, and pointed his nose straight up in the air.
-Far above him, many thousands of feet aloft,
-a silvery, menacing sphere hung in the rays
-of the searchlights. And he barked his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[46]</span>
-loudest and longest, but without avail, for
-the distance was too great. And the imaginative
-French folk heaped unintentional infamy
-upon him when they spoke quite placidly of
-“Archie baying at the moon!”</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[47]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">STIRRING TIMES</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">At</span> the corner of the Grande Route de
-Bapaume near the square, stands the little
-old Estaminet of La Veuve Matifas.</p>
-
-<p>It is only a humble Estaminet, where, in
-the old days, Pierre Lapont and old Daddy
-Duchesne discussed a “chope,” and talked
-over the failings of the younger generation,
-but nowadays it bears a notice on the little
-door leading into the back room, “For officers
-only.” The men have the run of the larger
-room, during hours, but the little parlour in
-rear is a spot sacred to those wearing from
-one star upwards.</p>
-
-<p>Madame Matifas is old, and very large.</p>
-
-<p>“Mais, Monsieur le Capitaine, dans ma
-jeunesse.... Ah! Alors!”—and she dearly
-loves a good hearty laugh. She also sells most
-excellent champagne, and—let it be murmured
-softly—Cointreau, Benedictine, and
-very rarely a bottle of “Skee” (“B. &amp; W.”
-for choice). She has twinkling brown eyes,
-fat comfortable-looking hands, and we all call<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[48]</span>
-her “Mother,” while she calls those of us
-who please her “Mon brave garçon.”</p>
-
-<p>But La Veuve Matifas is not the sole attraction
-of the Bon Fermier nor are even her
-very excellent wines and other drinks, that
-may inebriate. She has two children: Cécile
-and Marie Antoinette. The former is, strange
-to say, “petite” and “mignonne”—she is also
-very pretty and she knows all the officers of
-our Division; most of the young and tender
-ones write to her from the trenches. You may
-kiss Cécile on the cheek if you know her
-well.</p>
-
-<p>Marie Antoinette is of the tall, rather rich
-coloured, passionate type. She was engaged
-to a “Little Corporal” of the 77th Infantry
-of the Line. Alas, he died of wounds seven
-months ago. She wears mourning for him, but
-Marie is now in love with the Senior Major,
-or else we are all blind! (Uneasy rests the arm
-that wears a crown!) However, that is neither
-here not there. We like the widow Matifas,
-and we all admire her daughters, while some
-of us fall in love with them, and we <i>always</i>
-have a “stirring time” when we reach rest
-billets within walking distance of the “Estaminet<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[49]</span>
-du Bon Fermier,” or even gee gee
-distance.</p>
-
-<p>In defiance of the A.P.M. we float into town
-about 8 “pip emma” (the O.C. signals <i>will</i>
-bring “shop” into every-day conversation)
-and stealthily creep up the little back alley
-which leads to the back door of the Estaminet.
-We gather there—four of us, as a rule—and
-we tap thrice. We hear a fat, uneven walk,
-and the heavy respiration of “Maman,” and
-then:</p>
-
-<p>“Qui est là?”</p>
-
-<p>“C’est nous, Mère Matifas!”</p>
-
-<p>The door is unbolted, and we enter. Scholes
-invariably salutes Maman on both cheeks,
-and we—if we have the chance—salute her
-daughters. Then we carry on to the parlour.
-Pelham—who thinks all women love his goo-goo
-eyes—tries to tell Marie Antoinette, in
-simply rotten French, how much he loves her,
-and Marie gets very business-like, and wants
-to know if we want Moët et Chandon at 12
-frcs. a bottle or “the other” at six.</p>
-
-<p>So far we have never dared to try “the
-other,” for fear that we appear “real mean”!
-Maman bustles about, and calls us her brave<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[50]</span>
-boys, and <i>never</i> says a word about the war,
-which is a real kindness to us war-weary
-people.</p>
-
-<p>Cécile makes her entrance usually after the
-second bottle; probably to make her sister
-envious, because she always gets such a warm
-welcome. In fact there is an almost scandalous
-amount of competition for the honour of
-sitting next to her.</p>
-
-<p>La Veuve Matifas stays until after the third
-bottle. She has tact, that woman, and a confidence
-in ourselves and her daughters that
-no man who is worthy of the name would take
-advantage of.</p>
-
-<p>Last time we were there an incident occurred
-which literally took all our breaths
-away. We were in the middle of what Allmays
-calls “Close harmony” and Allmays was
-mixing high tenor, basso profundo, and
-Benedictine, when suddenly the door opened
-in a most impressive manner. That little
-plain deal door <i>felt</i> important, and it had the
-right to feel important too.</p>
-
-<p>The C.O. came in.</p>
-
-<p>We got up.</p>
-
-<p>The C.O. turned to Cécile, who was sitting<span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[51]</span>
-<i>far</i> too close to Pelham, in my estimation
-(for I was on the other side), and said, “Cécile,
-two more bottles please!” Then to us, “Sit
-down, gentlemen, carry on.” We were all
-fairly senior officers, but Maman nearly
-fainted dead away when we conveyed to her
-the fact that a real, live, active service Colonel
-was in her back parlour at 9.15 “pip emma,”
-ordering up the bubbly.</p>
-
-<p>He stayed a whole hour, and we had to sing.
-And then he told us that he had been offered a
-Brigade, and was leaving us. We were all
-jolly sorry—and jolly glad too—and we said
-so. We told the girls. “Un Général!” cried
-Cécile. “Mon Dieu!” and before we could
-stop her she flung her arms round the C.O.’s
-neck and kissed him. We all expected to be
-shot at dawn or dismissed the service, but the
-C.O. took it like a real brick, and Pelham
-swears he kissed her back—downy old bird
-that he is!</p>
-
-<p>After he had left we had a bully time.
-Marie Antoinette was peeved because she
-had not kissed the Colonel herself, and Cécile
-was sparkling because she <i>had</i> kissed him.
-Which gave us all a chance. Mère Matifas<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[52]</span>
-drank two whole glasses of champagne, and
-insisted on dancing a Tarantelle with Allmays,
-whom she called a “joli garçon,” and flirted
-with most shamelessly. Pelham got mixed up
-with a coon song, and spent half an hour
-trying to unmix, and Scholes consoled Marie
-Antoinette. As for me, well, there was nothing
-for it—Cécile <i>had</i> to be talked to, don’t you
-know!</p>
-
-<p>Mother “pro-duced” a bottle of “B. &amp; W.”
-also. In fact we had a most stirring time!</p>
-
-<p>We still go to see La Veuve Matifas. She
-never speaks to us without saying at least
-once, “Ah! Mais le brave Général, image de
-mon mari, où est il?”</p>
-
-<p>I have a photograph of Cécile in the left-hand
-breast pocket of my second-best tunic.
-Scholes says he is going to marry Marie
-Antoinette, “Après la Guerre,” in spite of
-the Senior Major!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[53]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">SICK PARADE</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p>“<span class="smcap">The</span> Company,” read the orderly Sergeant,
-“will parade at 8.45 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span>, and go for a route
-march. Dress: Light marching order.”</p>
-
-<p>A groan went up from the dark shadows of
-the dimly-lighted barn, which died down
-gradually on the order to “cut it out.” “Sick
-parade at 7.30 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span> at the M.O.’s billet Menin-lee-Chotaw,”
-announced the O.S. sombrely.
-“Any of you men who wanter go sick give in
-your names to Corporal Jones right now.”</p>
-
-<p>Yells of “Right here, Corporal,” “I can’t
-move a limb, Corporal,” and other statements
-of a like nature, announced the fact that
-there were quite a number of gentlemen whose
-pronounced view it was that they could not
-do an eight-mile route march the next day.
-Corporal Jones emerged, perspiring, after
-half an hour’s gallant struggle. Being very
-conscientious he took full particulars, according
-to Hoyle: name, number, rank, initials,
-age, religion, and nature of disease. The last<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[54]</span>
-he invariably asked for by means of the code
-phrase, “wossermarrerwi<i>you</i>?”</p>
-
-<p>Having refused to admit at least half a
-dozen well-known scrimshankers to the roll
-of sick, lame, and lazy, he finished up with
-Private Goodman, who declared himself suffering
-from “rheumatics hall over. Me legs is
-somethin’ tur’ble bad.”</p>
-
-<p>There were thirteen names on the report.</p>
-
-<p>Menin-le-Château being a good three kilometres
-distant, the sick fell in at 6.30 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span>
-the next day. The grey dawn was breaking
-in the East, and a drizzling rain made the
-village street even more miserable-looking
-than it was at all times. As on all sick parades,
-all the members thereof endeavoured to look
-their very worst, and succeeded admirably
-for the most part. They were unshaven, improperly
-dressed, according to military standards,
-and they shuffled around like a bunch
-of old women trying to catch a bus. Corporal
-Jones was in a very bad temper, and he told
-them many things, the least of which would
-have made a civilian’s hair turn grey. But,
-being “sick,” the men merely listened to him
-with a somewhat apathetic interest.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[55]</span>They moved off in file, a sorry-looking
-bunch of soldiers. Each man chose his own
-gait, which no injunctions to get in step could
-affect, and a German under-officer looking
-them over would have reported to his superiors
-that the morale of the British troops was
-hopeless.</p>
-
-<p>At 7.25 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span> this unseemly procession
-arrived in Menin-le-Château. In the far
-distance Corporal Jones espied the Regimental
-Sergeant-Major. The latter was a
-man whom every private considered an incarnation
-of the devil! The junior N.C.O.’s
-feared him, and the Platoon Sergeants had a
-respect for him founded on bitter experience
-in the past, when he had found them wanting.
-In other words he was a cracking good Sergeant-Major
-of the old-fashioned type. He
-was privately referred to as Rattle-Snake
-Pete, a tribute not only to his disciplinary
-measures, but also to his heavy, fierce black
-moustachios, and a lean, eagle-like face in
-which was set a pair of fierce, penetrating
-black eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“If,” said Corporal Jones loudly, “you all
-wants to be up for Office you’ll <i>walk</i>. Otherways<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[56]</span>
-you’ll <i>march</i>! There’s the Sergeant-Major!”</p>
-
-<p>The sick parade pulled itself together with
-a click. Collars and the odd button were
-furtively looked over and done up, caps pulled
-straight, and no sound broke the silence save
-a smart unison of “left-right-left” along the
-muddy road. The R.S.M. looked them over
-with a gleam in his eye as they passed, and
-glanced at his watch.</p>
-
-<p>“’Alf a minute late, Co’poral Jones,” he
-shouted. “Break into double time. Double
-... march!” The sick parade trotted away
-steadily—until they got round a bend in the
-road. “Sick!!!” murmured the R.S.M.
-“My <span class="allsmcap">H’EYE</span>!”</p>
-
-<p>A little way further on the parade joined a
-group composed of the sick of other battalion
-units, some fifty in all. Corporal Jones handed
-his sick report to the stretcher-bearer Sergeant,
-and was told he would have to wait
-until the last.</p>
-
-<p>In half an hour’s time the first name of the
-men in his party was called—Lance-Corporal
-MacMannish.</p>
-
-<p>“What’s wrong?” asked the doctor briskly.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[57]</span>“’A have got a pain in here, sirr,” said
-MacMannish, “an’ it’s sair, sorr,” pointing to
-the centre of his upper anatomy.</p>
-
-<p>“Show me your tongue? H’m. Eating too
-much! Colic. Two number nine’s. Light
-duty.”</p>
-
-<p>Lance-Corporal MacMannish about-turned
-with a smile of ecstatic joy and departed,
-having duly swallowed the pills.</p>
-
-<p>“What did ye get, Jock?”</p>
-
-<p>“Och! Light duty,” said the hero with
-the air of a wronged man justified, “but
-<i>you’ll</i> be no gettin’ such a thing, Bowering!”</p>
-
-<p>“And why not?” demanded the latter
-scowling. However, his name being then
-called put an end to the discussion.</p>
-
-<p>“I have pains in me head and back, sir,”
-explained Mr. Bowering, “and no sleep for
-two nights.” The doctor looked him over
-with a critical, expert eye.</p>
-
-<p>“Give him a number nine. Medicine and
-duty. Don’t drink so much, Bowering! That’s
-enough. Clear out!”</p>
-
-<p>“<i>He’s</i> no doctor,” declared the victim
-when he reached the street. “Huh! I
-wouldn’t trust a <i>cat</i> with ’im!”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[58]</span>The next man got no duty, and this had
-such an effect on him that he almost forgot
-he was a sick man, and walloped a pal playfully
-in the ribs on the doorstep, which nearly
-led to trouble.</p>
-
-<p>Of the remaining ten, all save one were
-awarded medicine and duty, but they took so
-long to tell the story of their symptoms, and
-managed to develop such good possible cases,
-that it was 8.45 before the parade fell in
-again to march back to billets, a fact which
-they all thoroughly appreciated!</p>
-
-<p>Wonderful the swinging step with which
-they set forth, Corporal Jones at the head,
-Lance-Corporal MacMannish, quietly triumphant,
-bringing up the rear. They passed the
-Colonel in the village, and he stopped Corporal
-Jones to inquire what they were.</p>
-
-<p>“Your men are marching very well, Corporal.
-‘A’ Company? Ah, yes. Fatigue
-party, hey?”</p>
-
-<p>“No-sir, sick-parade-sir!”</p>
-
-<p>“Sick Parade! God bless my soul! Sick!
-How many men were given medicine and
-duty?”</p>
-
-<p>“Nine, sir.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[59]</span>“Nine, out of thirteen.... ‘A’ Company
-is on a route march this morning, is it
-not?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yessir.”</p>
-
-<p>“My compliments to Major Bland, Corporal,
-and I would like him to parade these
-nine men in heavy marching order and send
-them on a nine-mile route march, under an
-officer.”</p>
-
-<p>“Very good, sir!”</p>
-
-<p>Next day there were no representatives of
-“A” Coy. on sick parade!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[60]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">BATMEN</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">This</span> war has produced a new breed of mankind,
-something that the army has never seen
-before, although they have formed a part of
-it, under the same name, since Noah was a
-boy. They are alike in name only. Batmen,
-the regular army type, are professionals.
-What they don’t know about cleaning brass,
-leather, steel, and general valeting simply
-isn’t worth knowing. They are super-servants,
-and they respect their position as reverently
-as an English butler respects his. With the
-new batman it is different. Usually the difficulty
-is not so much to discover what they
-do not know, as what they do! A new officer
-arrives at the front, or elsewhere, and he has
-to have a batman. It is a rather coveted
-job, and applicants are not slow in coming
-forward. Some man who is tired of doing
-sentry duty gets the position, and his “boss”
-spends anxious weeks bringing him up in the
-way he should go, losing, in the interval,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[61]</span>
-socks, handkerchiefs, underwear, gloves, ties,
-shirts, and collars galore! What can be said
-to the wretched man when in answer to
-“Where the —— is my new pair of socks?”
-he looks faint and replies: “I’ve lost them,
-sir!” Verily, as the “professional” scornfully
-remarks, are these “Saturday night
-batmen!”</p>
-
-<p>Yet even batmen are born, not made.
-Lucky is he who strikes on one of the former;
-only the man is sure to get killed, or wounded,
-or go sick! There is always a fly in the ointment
-somewhere. The best kind of batman
-to have is a kleptomaniac. Treat him well
-and he will never touch a thing of your own,
-but he will, equally, never leave a thing
-belonging to any one else!</p>
-
-<p>“Cozens, where did you get this pair of
-pants?”</p>
-
-<p>“Found them, sir!”</p>
-
-<p>“Where did you find them?”</p>
-
-<p>“Lying on the floor, sir,” with an air of
-injured surprise.</p>
-
-<p>“<i>Where!</i>”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t justly remember, sir.”</p>
-
-<p>Voice from right rear: “The Major’s compliments,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[62]</span>
-sir, and have you seen his new
-pants?”</p>
-
-<p>“Cozens!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yessir.”</p>
-
-<p>“Give me those pants.... Are those the
-Major’s?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, sir, them’s them.”</p>
-
-<p>Cozens watches the pants disappear with a
-sad, retrospective air of gloom.</p>
-
-<p>“You ain’t got but the <i>one</i> pair now, sir.”
-This with reproach.</p>
-
-<p>“How many times have I got to tell you
-to leave other people’s clothes alone? The
-other day it was pyjamas, now it’s pants.
-You’ll be taking somebody’s boots next.
-Confound it. I’ll—I’ll return you to duty if
-you do it again!... How about all those
-handkerchiefs? Where did <i>they</i> come from?”</p>
-
-<p>“All yours, sir, back from the wash!”
-With a sigh, one is forced to give up the
-unequal contest.</p>
-
-<p>Albeit as valets the batmen of the present
-day compare feebly with the old type, in
-certain other ways they are head and shoulders
-above them. The old “pro” refuses to do a
-single thing beyond looking after the clothing<span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[63]</span>
-and accoutrements of his master. The new
-kind of batman can be impressed to do almost
-anything. He will turn into a runner, wait
-at table, or seize a rifle with gusto and help
-get Fritz’s wind up. Go long journeys to
-find souvenirs, and make himself generally
-useful. He will even “bat” for the odd
-officer, when occasion arises, as well as for
-his own particular boss.</p>
-
-<p>No man is a hero in the eyes of his own
-batman. He knows everything about you,
-even to the times when your banking account
-is nil. He knows when you last had a bath,
-and when you last changed your underwear.
-He knows how much you eat, and also how
-much you drink; he knows all your friends
-with whom you correspond, and most of your
-family affairs as revealed by that correspondence,
-and nothing can hide from his
-eagle eye the fact that you are—lousy! Yet
-he is a pretty good sort, after all; he never
-tells. We once had a rather agéd sub. in the
-Company whose teeth were not his own, not
-a single one of them. One night, after a somewhat
-heavy soirée and general meeting of
-friends, he went to bed—or, to be more<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[64]</span>
-accurate, was tucked in by his faithful henchman—and
-lost both the upper and lower sets
-in the silent watches. The following morning
-he had a fearfully worried look, and spake
-not at all, except in whispers to his batman.
-Finally, the O.C. Company asked him a question,
-and he <i>had</i> to say something. It sounded
-like “A out mo,” so we all instantly realised
-something was lacking. He refused to eat
-anything at all, but took a little nourishment
-in the form of tea. His batman was to be
-observed crawling round the floor, perspiring
-at every pore, searching with his ears aslant
-and his mouth wide open for hidden ivory.
-We all knew it; poor old Gerrard knew we
-knew it, but the batman was faithful to the
-last, even when he pounced on the quarry
-with the light of triumph in his eye. He came
-to his master after breakfast was over and
-asked if he could speak to him. Poor Gerrard
-moved into the other room, and you could
-have heard a pin drop. “Please, sir,” in a
-stage whisper from his batman, “please, sir,
-I’ve got hold of them <span class="allsmcap">TEETH</span>, sir! But the
-front ones is habsent, sir, ’aving bin trod on!”</p>
-
-<p>The biggest nuisance on God’s earth is a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[65]</span>
-batman who spends all his spare moments
-getting drunk! Usually, however, he is a
-first-class batman during his sober moments!
-He will come in “plastered to the eyes”
-about eleven o’clock, and begin to hone your
-razors by the pallid rays of a candle, or else
-clean your revolver and see if the cartridges
-fit! In his cups he is equal to anything at all.
-Unless the case is really grave the man wins
-every time, for no one hates the idea of
-changing his servant more than an officer
-who has had the same man for a month or
-so and found him efficient.</p>
-
-<p>Not infrequently batmen are touchingly
-faithful. They will do anything on earth for
-their “boss” at any time of the day or
-night, and never desert him in the direst
-extremity. More than one batman has fallen
-side by side with his officer, whom he had
-followed into the fray, close on his heels.</p>
-
-<p>Once, after a charge, a conversation ensued
-between the sergeant of a certain officer’s
-platoon and that officer’s batman, in this
-fashion:</p>
-
-<p>“What were <i>you</i> doin’ out there, Tommy?”</p>
-
-<p>“Follerin’.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">[66]</span>“And why was you close up on his heels,
-so clost I could ’ardly see ’im?”</p>
-
-<p>“Follerin’ ’im up.”</p>
-
-<p>“And why wasn’t you back somewhere
-<i>safe</i>?” (This with a touch of sarcasm.)</p>
-
-<p>“Lord, Sargint, you couldn’t expect me to
-let <i>’im</i> go out by ’isself! ’E might ha’ got
-hurt!”</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">[67]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">RATIONS</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p>“<span class="smcap">Bully-beef</span> an’ ’ard-tack,” said Private
-Boddy disgustedly. “Bully-beef that’s canned
-dog or ’orse, or may be cats, an’ biscuits that’s
-<i>fit</i> for dawgs.... This is a ’ell of a war.
-W’y did I ever leave little old Walkerville,
-w’ere the whiskey comes from? Me an’
-’Iram we was almost pals, as you may say.
-I worked a ’ole fortnight in ’is place, at $1.75
-per, an’ then I——” Mr. Boddy broke off
-abruptly, but not soon enough.</p>
-
-<p>“Huh!” broke in a disgusted voice from
-a remote corner of the dug-out, “then I guess
-you went bummin’ your way till the bulls
-got you in Windsor. To hear you talk a chap
-would think you didn’t know what pan-handlin’
-was, or going out on the stem.”</p>
-
-<p>“Look ’ere,” said Boddy with heat, “you
-comeralong outside, you great long rubberneck,
-you, an’ I’ll teach you to call me a
-pan-’andler, I will. You low-life Chicago<span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[68]</span>
-bum, wot never <i>did</i> ’ave a better meal than
-you could steal f’m a Chink Chop Suey.”</p>
-
-<p>“Say, fellers,” a quiet voice interposed,
-“cut it out. This ain’t a Parliament Buildings
-nor a Montreal cabaret. There’s a war
-on. If youse guys wants to talk about rations,
-then go ahead, shoot, but cut out the rough
-stuff!”</p>
-
-<p>“Dat’s what <i>I</i> say, Corporal,” interrupted
-a French-Canadian. “I’m a funny sort of a
-guy, I am. I likes to hear a good spiel, widout
-any of dis here free cussin’ an’ argumentation.
-Dat ain’t no good, fer it don’t cut no
-ice, <i>no’ d’un ch’en</i>!”</p>
-
-<p>“Talkin’ of rations,” drawled a Western
-voice, “when I was up to Calgary in ’08, an’
-was done gone busted, save for two bits, I
-tuk a flop in one of them houses at 15 cents
-per, an’ bot a cow’s heel with the dime. You
-kin b’lieve me or you needn’t, but I <i>tell</i> you
-a can of that bully you’re shootin’ off about
-would ha’ seemed mighty good to <i>me</i>, right
-then, an’ it aren’t so dusty naow.”</p>
-
-<p>Private Boddy snorted his contempt. “An’
-the jam they gives you,” he said, “w’y at
-’ome you couldn’t <i>give</i> it away! Plum an’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[69]</span>
-happle! Or wot they call plain happle! It
-ain’t never seed a plum, bar the stone, nor a
-happle, bar the core. It’s just colourin’ mixed
-up wiv boiled down turnups, that’s what
-it is.”</p>
-
-<p>“De bread’s all right, anyways,” said
-Lamontagne, “but dey don’t never git you
-more’n a slice a man! An dat cheese. Pouff!
-It stink like a Fritz wot’s laid dead since de
-British takes Pozières.”</p>
-
-<p>Scottie broke in.</p>
-
-<p>“Aye, but hold yerr maunderin’. Ye canna
-verra weel have aught to clack aboot when
-’tis the Rum ye speak of.”</p>
-
-<p>“Dat’s all right,” Lamontagne responded,
-“de rum’s all right. But who gets it? What
-youse gets is one ting. A little mouthful down
-de brook wot don’t do no more than make
-you drier as you was before. What does de
-Sargents get? So much dey all is so rambunctious
-mad after a feller he dasn’t look
-dem in de face or dey puts him up for office!
-Dat’s a fine ways, dat is! An’ dem awficers!
-De limit, dat’s what dat is. I was up to
-de cook-house wid a—wid a rifle——”—“a
-dirty rifle too, on inspection, by Heck,” the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[70]</span>
-Corporal supplemented—“wid a rifle, as I
-was sayin’,” continued Lamontagne, with a
-reproachful look in the direction of his section
-commander, “an’ I sees wot was in de cook-house
-a cookin’ for de awficers” (his voice
-sunk to an impressive whisper). “D’ere was
-eeggs, wid de sunny side up, an’ dere was bif-steaks
-all floatin’ in gravy, an’ pottitters an’
-<i>beans</i>, an’ peaches an’ peyers.”</p>
-
-<p>“Quit yer fool gabbin’,” said Chicago.
-“H’aint you got no sense in that mutt-head
-o’ yourn? That’s food them ginks <span class="allsmcap">BUYS</span>!”</p>
-
-<p>Boddy had been silent so long he could
-bear it no longer.</p>
-
-<p>“’Ave a ’eart,” he said, “it gives me a
-pain ter fink of all that food the horficers
-heats. Pure ’oggery, I calls it. An’ ter fink
-of th’ little bit o’ bread an’ biscuit an’ bacon—wot’s
-all fat—wot we fellers gets to eat.
-<i>We</i> does the work, an’ the horficers sits in
-easy chairs an’ Heats!! Oh <i>w’y</i> did I join
-the Harmy?”</p>
-
-<p>At this moment, Private Graham, who had
-been slumbering peacefully until Lamontagne,
-in his excitement, put a foot in the midst of
-his anatomy, added his quota to the discussion.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[71]</span>
-Private Graham wore the King and
-Queen’s South African medal and also the
-Somaliland. Before drink reduced him, he
-had been a company Q.M.S. in a crack regiment.
-His words were usually respected.
-“Strike me pink if you Saturday night
-soldiers don’t give me the guts-ache,” he remarked
-with some acerbity. “In Afriky
-you’d ha’ bin dead an’ buried months ago,
-judgin’ by the way you talks! There it was
-march, march, march, an’ no fallin’ out.
-Little water, a ’an’ful o’ flour, an’ a tin of
-bully wot was fly-blowed two minutes after
-you opened it, unless you ’ad eat it a’ready.
-An’ you talks about food! S’elp me if it ain’t
-a crime. Rations! W’y, never in the ’ole
-’istory of the world ’as a Army bin better fed
-nor we are. You young soldiers sh’d learn a
-thing or two afore you starts talkin’ abaht
-yer elders an’ betters. Lord, in th’ old days a
-hofficers’ mess was somethin’ to dream abaht.
-Nowadays they can’t ’old a candle to it. Wot
-d’yer expec’? D’yer think a horficer is goin’
-to deny ’is stummick if ’e can buy food ter
-put in it? ’E ain’t so blame stark starin’ mad
-as all that. You makes me sick, you do!”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[72]</span>“Dat’s what <i>I</i> say,” commented Lamontagne!</p>
-
-<p>From afar came a voice crying, “Turn out
-for your rations.”</p>
-
-<p>In thirty seconds the dug-out was empty!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[73]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">OUR SCOUT OFFICER</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">We</span> have a certain admiration for our scout
-officer; not so much for his sleuth-hound
-propensities, as for his completely <i>dégagé</i> air.
-He is a Holmes-Watson individual, in whom
-the Holmes is usually subservient to the
-Watson.</p>
-
-<p>Without a map—he either has several
-dozen or none at all—he is purely Watson.
-With a map he is transformed into a Sherlock,
-instanter. The effect of a <i>new</i> map on
-him is like that of a new build of aeroplane
-on an aviator. He pores over it, he reverses
-the north and south gear, and gets the magnetic
-differential on the move; with a sweep
-of the eye he climbs up hills and goes down
-into valleys, he encircles a wood with a pencil-marked
-forefinger—and asks in an almost
-pained way for nail-scissors. Finally, he sends
-out his Scout Corporal and two men, armed
-to the teeth with spy-glasses and compasses
-(magnetic, mark VIII), to reconnoitre. When
-they come back (having walked seventeen<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[74]</span>
-kilometres to get to a point six miles away)
-and report, he says, wagging his head sagely:
-“Ah! I knew it. According to this map,
-81×D (parts of), 82 GN, south-west (parts
-of), 32 B<sup>1</sup>, N.W. (parts of), and 19 CF, East
-(parts of), the only available route is the
-main road, marked quite clearly on the map,
-and running due east-north-east by east from
-Bn. H.Q.”</p>
-
-<p>But he is a cheerful soul. The other day,
-when we were romancing around in the
-Somme, we had to take over a new line; one
-of those “lines” that genial old beggar
-Fritz makes for us with 5.9’s. He—the Scout
-Officer—rose to the occasion. He went to
-the Commanding Officer, and in his most ingratiating
-manner, his whole earnest soul in
-his pale blue eyes, offered to take him up to
-his battle head-quarters.</p>
-
-<p>This offer was accepted, albeit the then
-Adjutant had a baleful glitter in <i>his</i> eye.</p>
-
-<p>After he had led us by ways that were
-strange and peculiar through the gathering
-darkness, and after the Colonel had fallen
-over some barbed wire into a very damp
-shell-hole, he began to look worried. We<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[75]</span>
-struck a very famous road—along which even
-the worms dare not venture—and our Intelligence
-Officer led us for several hundred
-yards along it.</p>
-
-<p>An occasional high explosive shrapnel shell
-burst in front and to rear of us, but, map
-grasped firmly in the right hand, our Scout
-Officer led us fearlessly onwards. He did not
-march, he did not even walk, he sauntered.
-Then with a dramatic gesture wholly unsuited
-to the time and circumstances, he
-turned and said: “Do you mind waiting a
-minute, sir, while I look at the map?” After
-a few brief comments the C.O. went to earth
-in a shell-hole. The Scout Officer sat down
-in the road, and examined his map by the
-aid of a flash-light until the Colonel threw a
-clod of earth at him accompanied by some
-very uncomplimentary remarks. “I think,
-sir,” said the Scout Officer, his gaunt frame
-and placid countenance illumined by shell-bursts,
-“that if we cross the road and go
-North by East we may perhaps strike the
-communication trench leading to the Brewery.
-<i>Personally</i>, I would suggest going overland,
-but——” His last words were drowned by<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[76]</span>
-the explosion of four 8.1’s 50 yards rear
-right. “Get out of this, sir! Get out of this
-<span class="allsmcap">DAMN</span> quick,” roared the C.O. The Scout
-Officer stood to attention slowly, and saluted
-with a deprecating air.</p>
-
-<p>He led.</p>
-
-<p>We followed.</p>
-
-<p>He took us straight into one of the heaviest
-barrages it had ever been our misfortune to
-encounter, and when we had got there he
-said he was lost. So for twenty minutes the
-C.O., the Adjutant, nine runners, and, last
-but not least, the Scout Officer, sat under a
-barrage in various shell-holes, and prayed inwardly—with
-the exception of the Scout
-Officer—that <i>he</i> (the S.O.) would be hit plump
-in the centre of his maps by a 17-inch shell.</p>
-
-<p>It were well to draw a veil over what
-followed. Even Holmes-Watson does not
-like to hear it mentioned. Suffice to say that
-the C.O. (with party) left at 5.30 <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span> and
-arrived at battle head-quarters at 11.35 <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span>
-The Scout Officer was then engaged in discovering
-a route between Battle H.Q. and
-the front line. He reported back at noon the
-following day, and slept in a shell-hole for<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[77]</span>
-thirteen hours. No one could live near the
-C.O. for a week, and he threatened the S.O.
-with a short-stick <span class="allsmcap">MILLS</span>.</p>
-
-<p>If there is one thing which the Scout Officer
-does not like, it is riding a horse. He almost
-admits that he cannot ride! The other day
-he met a friend. The friend had one quart
-bottle of Hennessey, three star. The Scout
-Officer made a thorough reconnaissance of
-the said bottle, and reported on same.</p>
-
-<p>A spirited report.</p>
-
-<p>Unhappily the C.O. ordered a road reconnaissance
-an hour later, and our Scout Officer
-had to ride a horse. The entire H.Q. sub-staff
-assisted him to mount, and the last we
-saw of Holmes-Watson, he was galloping
-down the road, sitting well on the horse’s
-neck, hands grasping the saddle tightly, rear
-and aft. Adown the cold November wind
-we heard his dulcet voice carolling:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="first">“I put my money on a bob-tailed nag!...</div>
-<div class="verse">Doo-dah ... Doo-dah!</div>
-<div class="verse"><i>I</i> put my money on a bob-tailed nag;</div>
-<div class="verse">... Doo-dah! ... Doo-dah!! ... <i>DEY!!!</i>”</div>
-</div></div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[78]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">MARTHA OF DRANVOORDE</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Martha Beduys</span>, in Belgium, was considered
-pretty, even handsome. Of that
-sturdy Flemish build so characteristic of
-Belgian women, in whom the soil seems to
-induce embonpoint, she was plump to stoutness.
-She was no mere girl; twenty-seven
-years had passed over her head when the war
-broke out, and she saw for the first time
-English soldiers in the little village that had
-always been her home. There was a great
-deal of excitement. As the oldest of seven
-sisters, Martha was the least excited, but the
-most calculating.</p>
-
-<p>The little baker’s shop behind the dull old
-church had always been a source of income,
-but never a means to the attainment of
-wealth. Martha had the soul of a shop-keeper,
-a thing which, in her father’s eyes, made her
-the pride of his household.</p>
-
-<p>Old Hans Beduys was a man of some
-strength of mind. His features were sharp
-and keen, his small, blue eyes had a glitter<span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[79]</span>
-in them which seemed to accentuate their
-closeness to each other, and his hands—lean,
-knotted, claw-like—betokened his chief desire
-in life. Born of a German mother and a
-Belgian father, he had no particular love for
-the English.</p>
-
-<p>When the first British Tommy entered his
-shop and asked for bread, old Beduys looked
-him over as a butcher eyes a lamb led to the
-slaughter. He was calculating the weight in
-sous and francs.</p>
-
-<p>That night Beduys laid down the law to
-his family.</p>
-
-<p>“The girls will all buy new clothes,” he
-said, “for which I shall pay. They will make
-themselves agreeable to the English mercenaries,
-but”—with a snap of his blue eyes—“nothing
-more. The good God has sent
-us a harvest to reap; I say we shall reap it.”</p>
-
-<p>During the six months that followed the
-little shop behind the church teemed with
-life. The Beduys girls were glad enough to
-find men to talk to for the linguistic difficulty
-was soon overcome—to flirt with mildly, and
-in front of whom to show off their newly-acquired
-finery. From morn till dewy eve<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">[80]</span>
-the shop was crowded, and occasionally an
-officer or two would dine in the back parlour,
-kiss Martha if they felt like it, and not worry
-much over a few sous change.</p>
-
-<p>In the meantime old Hans waxed financially
-fat, bought a new Sunday suit, worked the
-life out of his girls, and prayed nightly that
-the Canadians would arrive in the vicinity
-of his particular “Somewhere in Belgium.”</p>
-
-<p>In a little while they came.</p>
-
-<p>Blossoming forth like a vine well fertilised
-at the roots, the little shop became more and
-more pretentious as the weekly turnover increased.
-Any day that the receipts fell below
-a certain level old Beduys raised such a storm
-that his bevy of daughters redoubled their
-efforts.</p>
-
-<p>Martha had become an enthusiastic business
-woman. Her fair head with its golden
-curls was bent for many hours in the day
-over a crude kind of ledger, and she thought
-in terms of pickles, canned fruits, chocolate,
-and cigarettes. The spirit of commerce had
-bitten deep into Martha’s soul.</p>
-
-<p>More and more officers held impromptu
-dinners in the back parlour. Martha knew<span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[81]</span>
-most of them, but only one interested her.
-Had he not shown her the system of double
-entry, and how to balance her accounts? He
-was a commercial asset.</p>
-
-<p>As for Jefferson, it was a relief to him,
-after a tour in the trenches, to have an occasional
-chat with a moderately pretty girl.</p>
-
-<p>One rain-sodden, murky January night,
-very weary, wet, and muddy, Jefferson
-dropped in to see, as he would have put it,
-“the baker’s daughter.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha happened to be alone, and welcomed
-“Monsieur Jeff” beamingly.</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps the dim light of the one small
-lamp, perhaps his utter war weariness, induced
-Jefferson to overlook the coarseness of
-the girl’s skin, her ugly hands, and large feet.
-Perhaps Martha was looking unusually pretty.</p>
-
-<p>At all events he suddenly decided that she
-was desirable. Putting his arm around her
-waist as she brought him his coffee, he drew
-her, unresisting, on to his knee. Then he
-kissed her.</p>
-
-<p>Heaven knows what possessed Martha that
-evening. She not only allowed his kisses, but
-returned them, stroking his curly hair with a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[82]</span>
-tenderness that surprised herself as much as
-it surprised him.</p>
-
-<p>Thereafter Martha had two souls. A soul
-for business and a soul for Jefferson.</p>
-
-<p>The bleak winter rolled on and spring
-came.</p>
-
-<p>About the beginning of April old Beduys
-received, secretly, a letter from a relative in
-Frankfurt. The contents of the letter were
-such that the small pupils of the old man’s
-eyes dilated with fear. He hid the document
-away, and his temper for that day was
-execrable. That night he slept but little.
-Beduys lay in bed and pictured the sails of a
-windmill—<span class="allsmcap">HIS</span> windmill—and he thought also
-of ten thousand francs and his own safety.
-He thought of the distance to the mill—a full
-two kilometres—and of the martial law
-which dictated, among other things, that he
-be in his home after a certain hour at night,
-and that his mill’s sails be set at a certain
-angle when at rest. Then he thought of
-Martha. Martha of the commercial mind.
-Martha the obedient. Yes! That was it,
-obedient! Hans Beduys rose from his bed
-softly, without disturbing his heavily-sleeping<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[83]</span>
-wife, and read and re-read his brother’s letter.
-One page he kept, and the rest he tore to
-shreds, and burned, bit by bit, in the candle
-flame.</p>
-
-<p>High up on the hill stood the windmill—the
-Beduys windmill. Far over in the German
-lines an Intelligence Officer peered at it in the
-gathering dusk through a night-glass. Slowly,
-almost imperceptibly, the sails of the mill
-turned, and stopped for a full minute. Slowly,
-almost imperceptibly, they turned again, and
-stopped again. This happened perhaps twenty
-times. The German made some notes and
-went to the nearest signalling station.</p>
-
-<p>Five minutes later a salvo of great shells
-trundled, with a noise like distant express
-trains, over to the left of the mill.</p>
-
-<p>There were heavy casualties in a newly-arrived
-battalion bivouacked not half a mile
-from the baker’s shop. The inhabitants of the
-village awoke and trembled. “Hurrumph-umph!”
-Again the big shells trundled over
-the village, and again. There was confusion,
-and death and wounding.</p>
-
-<p>In his bed lay Hans Beduys, sweating from
-head to foot, while his brain hammered out<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[84]</span>
-with ever-increasing force: “Ten thousand
-francs—Ten Thousand Francs.”</p>
-
-<p>In the small hours a shadow disengaged
-itself from the old mill, cautiously. Then it
-began to run, and resolved itself into a woman.
-By little paths, by ditches, by side-tracks,
-Martha reached home. She panted heavily,
-her face was white and haggard. When she
-reached her room she flung herself on her
-bed, and lay there wide-eyed, dumb, horror-stricken,
-until the dawn broke.</p>
-
-<p>Jefferson’s Battalion finished a tour in the
-trenches on the following night. Jefferson
-marched back to billet with a resolve in his
-mind. He had happened to notice the windmill
-moving the night before, as he stood outside
-Company head-quarters in the trenches.
-He had heard the shells go over—away back—and
-had seen the sails move again. The
-two things connected themselves instantly in
-his mind. Perhaps he should have reported
-the matter at once, but Jefferson did not do
-so. He meant to investigate for himself.</p>
-
-<p>Two days later Jefferson got leave to spend
-the day in the nearest town. He returned
-early in the afternoon, put his revolver in the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[85]</span>
-pocket of his British warm coat, and set out
-for the windmill. He did not know to whom
-the mill belonged, nor did that trouble
-him.</p>
-
-<p>An Artillery Brigade had parked near the
-village that morning. Jefferson got inside the
-mill without difficulty. It was a creaky, rat-haunted
-old place, and no one lived within
-half a mile of it. Poking about, he discovered
-nothing until his eyes happened to fall on a
-little medallion stuck between two boards on
-the floor.</p>
-
-<p>Picking it up, Jefferson recognised it as
-one of those little “miraculous medals”
-which he had seen strung on a light chain
-around Martha’s neck. He frowned thoughtfully,
-and put it in his pocket.</p>
-
-<p>He hid himself in a corner and waited. He
-waited so long that he fell asleep. The opening
-of the little wooden door of the mill
-roused him with a start. There was a long
-pause, and then the sound of footsteps coming
-up the wooden stairway which led to where
-Jefferson lay. The window in the mill-face
-reflected the dying glow of a perfect sunset,
-and the light in the mill was faint. He could<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[86]</span>
-hear the hum of a biplane’s engines as it
-hurried homeward, the day’s work done.</p>
-
-<p>A peaked cap rose above the level of the
-floor, followed by a stout, rubicund face. A
-Belgian gendarme.</p>
-
-<p>Jefferson fingered his revolver, and waited.
-The gendarme looked around, grunted, and
-disappeared down the steps again, closing the
-door that led into the mill with a bang.
-Jefferson sat up and rubbed his head.</p>
-
-<p>He did not quite understand.</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps ten minutes had passed when for
-the third time that night the door below was
-opened softly, closed as softly, and some one
-hurried up the steps.</p>
-
-<p>It was Martha. She had a shawl over her
-head and shoulders, and she was breathing
-quickly, with parted lips.</p>
-
-<p>Jefferson noiselessly dropped his revolver
-into his pocket again.</p>
-
-<p>With swift, sure movements, the girl began
-to set the machinery of the mill in motion.
-By glancing over to the window, Jefferson
-could see the sails move slowly—very, very
-slowly. Martha fumbled for a paper in her
-bosom, and, drawing it forth, scrutinised it<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">[87]</span>
-tensely. Then she set the machinery in motion
-again. She had her back to him. Jefferson
-rose stealthily and took a step towards her.
-A board creaked and, starting nervously, the
-girl looked round.</p>
-
-<p>For a moment the two gazed at each other
-in dead silence.</p>
-
-<p>“Martha,” said Jefferson, “Martha!”</p>
-
-<p>There was a mixture of rage and reproach
-in his voice. Even as he spoke they heard
-the whine of shells overhead, and then four
-dull explosions.</p>
-
-<p>“Your work,” cried Jefferson thickly, taking
-a stride forward and seizing the speechless
-woman by the arm.</p>
-
-<p>Martha looked at him with a kind of dull
-terror in her eyes, with utter hopelessness,
-and the man paused a second. He had not
-known he cared for her so much. Then, in a
-flash, he pictured the horrors for which this
-woman, a mere common spy, was responsible.</p>
-
-<p>He made to grasp her more firmly, but she
-twisted herself from his hold. Darting to the
-device which freed the mill-sails, she wrenched
-at it madly. The sails caught in the breeze,
-and began to circle round, swiftly and more<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[88]</span>
-swiftly, until the old wooden building shook
-with the vibration.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>From his observation post a German officer
-took in the new situation at a glance. A few
-guttural sounds he muttered, and then turning
-angrily to an orderly he gave him a curt
-message. “They shall not use it if we cannot,”
-he said to himself, shaking his fist in the
-direction of the whirring sails.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>In the little village part of the church and
-the baker’s shop lay in ruins. Martha had
-sent but a part of her signal, and it had
-been acted upon with characteristic German
-promptitude.</p>
-
-<p>In the windmill on the hill, which shook
-crazily as the sails tore their way through the
-air, a man and a woman struggled desperately,
-the woman with almost superhuman strength.</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly the earth shook, a great explosion
-rent the air, and the mill on the hill was rent
-timber from timber and the great sails doubled
-up like tin-foil.</p>
-
-<p>“Good shooting,” said the German Forward
-Observation Officer, as he tucked his glass
-under his arm and went “home” to dinner.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[89]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">COURCELETTE</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p>“<span class="smcap">It</span> was one of the nastiest jobs any battalion
-could be called on to perform; to my mind
-far more difficult than a big, sweeping advance.
-The First Battalion has been in the trenches
-eighteen days, on the march four days, and
-at rest one day, until now. No men could be
-asked to do more, and no men could do more
-than you have done. I congratulate you,
-most heartily.”</p>
-
-<p>In the above words, addressed to the men
-and officers of the First Canadian Infantry
-Battalion, Western Ontario Regiment, Major-General
-Currie made it plain to all that among
-the Honours of the First Battalion few will
-take higher place than that which will be
-inscribed “<span class="smcap">Courcelette</span>.”</p>
-
-<p>On the night of September 20th, 1916, the
-First Battalion moved up from support to
-the firing-line, beyond the ruins of the above-mentioned
-little hamlet. For the past few
-days it had rained incessantly, and all ranks<span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[90]</span>
-had been working night and day, in mud and
-slush, carrying material of all kinds to the
-front line. The men were soaked to the skin,
-caked with mud, and very weary, but they
-went “up-along” with an amazing cheeriness,
-for rumour had whispered that the regiment
-was to attack, and the men were in that
-frame of mind when the prospect of “getting
-their own back” appealed to them hugely.
-Although the enemy opened up an intense
-barrage during the relief, casualties were comparatively
-few, and by morning the First
-Battalion was, Micawber-like, “waiting for
-something to turn up.”</p>
-
-<p>Three companies, “A,” “B,” and “D,”
-held the front line, with “C” Company in
-close support. The positions were to the east
-of Courcelette, opposite a maze of German
-trenches which constituted a thorn in the
-side of the Corps and Army Commanders,
-and which had for several days checked the
-advance and were therefore a serious menace
-to future plans. Just how great was the
-necessity to capture this highly organised and
-strongly manned defensive system may be
-gauged by the letter received by the Commanding<span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[91]</span>
-Officer from the Divisional Commander
-on the eve of the attack. In it the
-G.O.C. expressed his confidence in the ability
-of “The Good Old First” to capture the
-position, and to hold it, and he added that it
-<i>must</i> be taken at all costs—“if the first
-attack fails, you must make a second.” On
-the capture of this strong point hung the fate
-of other operations on the grand scale.</p>
-
-<p>It was the key position, and it fell to the
-First Canadian Battalion to be honoured
-with the task of taking it.</p>
-
-<p>Until two and a half hours previous to the
-attack (when the Operation Order had been
-issued, and final instructions given), the
-latest <i>maps</i> of the German defences had been
-all the C.O. and his staff could work upon.
-Then, truly at the eleventh hour, an aerial
-<i>photograph</i>, taken but twenty-four hours
-before, was sent to Bn. Head-quarters with
-the least possible delay. This showed such
-increase in the enemy defences, and trenches
-in so much better shape to withstand attack,
-that the whole tactical situation was changed,
-and it became necessary not only to alter the
-operation order completely, but also to draw<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[92]</span>
-a map, showing the most recent German lines
-of defence. This was done.</p>
-
-<p>It is difficult to single out for praise any
-special portion of a regiment, or any member
-of it, especially when <i>all</i> the units have been
-subjected to intense and violent bombardment
-prior to attack, not to mention the
-activities of numerous snipers. One Company
-alone lost half their effectives through
-the fire of a “whizz-bang” battery which
-completely enfiladed their position. The
-Battalion and Company runners cannot be
-too highly praised—they were the sole means
-of communication—and risked their lives
-hourly, passing through and over heavily-pounded
-trenches, and in and out of the
-village of Courcelette, which was subjected to
-“strafing” at all hours of the day and night,
-without cessation. Tribute is also due to the
-carrying parties, who took from beyond the
-Sugar Refinery, and through the village,
-bombs, ammunition, water, and rations, leaving
-at every trip their toll of dead and
-wounded.</p>
-
-<p>Zero hour was at 8.31 <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span>, preceded for
-one minute by hurricane artillery fire. Previous<span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[93]</span>
-to this the heavy guns had carried out
-a systematic bombardment of the German
-defences, yet, as was subsequently discovered,
-failing to do them great damage, and not
-touching the main fire trench at all.</p>
-
-<p>At 8.28½ <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span> the Germans suddenly opened
-with a murderous artillery and machine-gun
-fire along our front. They had by some means
-or other discovered that an attack was about
-to take place. At this time the assaulting
-waves were in position, “A” Coy. on the
-left flank, “D” Coy. in the centre, and “B”
-Coy. on the right flank, while a Battalion
-Reserve of eighteen men—five of whom became
-casualties three minutes later—waited
-for orders a little in rear. These men belonged
-to “C” Company, the major portion of
-which had already been sent to reinforce the
-front line. All our guns then opened up with
-an electric spontaneity. To such an extent
-that one charging company was forced to
-halt a full minute in No Man’s Land until
-the barrage lifted a few hundred yards in
-rear of the German lines, to catch their
-reserves coming up.</p>
-
-<p>Among the <i>Fragments from France</i> there<span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[94]</span>
-is a Bairnsfather picture entitled “We shall
-attack at Dawn” and “We do!” The
-situation much resembled it.</p>
-
-<p>One could hear nothing but the vicious
-“splack” of high explosive shrapnel, the
-deep “Krrumph” of 6-inch and 8.2’s, “coal-boxes”
-and “woolly bears”; great herds of
-shells whined and droned overhead, and now
-and then emerged from the tumult the coughing,
-venomous spit of machine-guns. One
-could see myriads of angrily-bursting yellow
-and orange-coloured flames, and all along
-the front dozens of green Verey lights, and
-red, as the Germans called frantically on their
-artillery, and at the same time showed that
-some of their own batteries were firing short
-(a thing which always gives great joy to all
-ranks). Now and then a deeper series of
-booms announced a bombing battle, and the
-air was heavy with the odour of picric fumes
-and thick with smoke.</p>
-
-<p>On the left flank “A” Coy. met with stubborn
-opposition. Four machine-guns opened
-on their first wave, cutting it to pieces, as it
-was enfiladed from the flanks. The Company
-reformed at once, and charged again. This<span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[95]</span>
-time they were met by a heavy counter-attack
-in force. In the cold words of official
-phraseology, “This opposition was overcome.”
-It was here that two very gallant officers
-were lost—Lieut. B. T. Nevitt and Major
-F. E. Aytoun—while leading their men. The
-last seen of Lieut. Nevitt, he was lying half
-in and half out of a shell-hole, firing his revolver
-at the enemy who were almost on top
-of him, and calling to his men to come on.
-Major Aytoun’s last words were, “Carry on,
-men!”</p>
-
-<p>“B” Coy., on the left flank, met with little
-opposition, attained the whole of their objective,
-and established communication by patrol
-with the troops on their right flank, a difficult
-operation. Here Lieut. Unwin, a splendid
-young officer, laid down his life, and Lieut.
-MacCuddy, who had carried on in the most
-exemplary manner, was mortally wounded.
-This Company captured a German Adjutant
-from whom much valuable information was
-obtained. Thoroughly demoralised, his first
-words were: “Take me out of this, and I
-will tell you anything, but anything.” On
-this German’s reaching head-quarters he<span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[96]</span>
-amused every one by saying: “I come me
-to the West front September 22nd, 1914, as
-a German officer. I go me from the West
-front September 22nd, 1916, Heaven be
-thanked, as a German prisoner. For me the
-war is over, hurrah!”</p>
-
-<p>In the centre “D” Coy. also attained their
-objective and captured a trophy, in the shape
-of a Vickers gun (which had been converted
-to German usage). This gun was taken by
-Lieut. J. L. Youngs, M.C., who bombed the
-crew, which thereon beat a hasty retreat,
-leaving half their number killed and wounded.
-This was one of the best pieces of work done
-individually in this action. Major W. N. Ashplant
-was wounded here, at the head of his
-men, and is now missing, and believed killed.</p>
-
-<p>Bombing posts were thrown out at once,
-and manned by Battalion and Company
-bombers, who, time and again, repulsed German
-bombing attacks. “A” Coy. linked up
-with “D” and “D” Coy. with “B,” while
-the Lewis gun sections worked admirably,
-but one gun being lost, despite the heavy
-artillery fire. The whole line was at once
-consolidated. Hundreds of German bombs,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">[97]</span>
-Verey lights and pistols, many rifles, and
-quantities of ammunition were captured, and
-also forty prisoners, the great majority of
-whom were unwounded.</p>
-
-<p>“C” Coy.’s reserve was almost immediately
-used up, a company of the 4th Bn. coming
-up in support, at the request of the Commanding
-Officer of the First Battalion.</p>
-
-<p>“Your attack was so vicious,” declared a
-prisoner, “that no troops could withstand it.”</p>
-
-<p>“Too good troops”—this from a tall, fair
-member of the Prussian Guard—“better
-than we are!”</p>
-
-<p>The Germans opposed to the First Battalion
-were picked troops, among whom the iron-cross
-had been freely distributed.</p>
-
-<p>On capturing this network of enemy lines
-to the east of Courcelette, the First Battalion
-discovered that what was at first deemed a
-small stronghold, was in reality a formidable
-position, held by the enemy in large numbers.
-Not only was there a deep, fire-stepped main
-trench, in which they had dug many “funk-holes,”
-but also a series of support and communication
-trenches, and numerous bombing
-posts.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">[98]</span>During the thirty hours following the capture
-of this ground, numerous counter-attacks
-took place, all of which were repulsed with
-heavy enemy losses. Bombing actions were
-frequent along the whole line, and at least
-two attacks were made in force.</p>
-
-<p>A small post, held by two men, on the right
-flank of “D” Coy., to communicate with
-“B,” accounted for six Germans in the
-following manner: Early in the morning six
-of the enemy advanced with their hands up.
-Our men watched them closely, albeit they
-called out “Kamerad” and were apparently
-unarmed. The foremost suddenly dropped
-his hands and threw a bomb. Our men
-thereupon “went to it” and killed three
-of the Germans, wounding the remainder
-with rifle fire as they ran back to their own
-lines.</p>
-
-<p>At dusk on the 23rd the Germans tried
-another ruse before attempting an attack in
-force. Two of them were sent out, calling
-“Mercy, mercy, Kamerad,” and as usual
-with their hands up, and no equipment. But
-the officer in charge saw a number of Germans
-advancing behind them, and at once ordered<span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">[99]</span>
-heavy rifle and machine-gun fire to be opened
-on them. This, and bombs, resulted in the
-attack being broken up completely. “B”
-Coy. dispersed several bombing attacks, and
-“A” Coy. broke up a heavy attack, as well
-as bombing attacks. Fog at times rendered
-the position favourable for the enemy, but
-not one inch of ground was lost.</p>
-
-<p>Every man of the fighting forces of the
-First Battalion was engaged in this action,
-and much valuable assistance during consolidation
-and counter-attack was rendered
-by the Company of the Fourth Battalion
-sent up to support. For over thirty hours
-after the assault the regiment held on, heavy
-fog rendering relief in the early hours of the
-24th a difficult undertaking, all the more so
-in view of the intense and long-continued
-barrage opened by the enemy during the
-hours of relief. In fact, during the whole tour
-of the First Canadian Battalion in the Courcelette
-sector, the regiment was subjected to
-intense and incessant fire.</p>
-
-<p>When the remainder of the First Battalion
-marched out to rest, with Hun helmets and
-other souvenirs hanging to their kits, they<span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">[100]</span>
-marched with the pride of men who knew
-they had done their bit.</p>
-
-<p>The Corps Commander rode over to congratulate
-the Commanding Officer and the
-regiment, and such terms were used from the
-Highest Command downwards that the “Old
-First” knows and is proud of the fact, that
-another laurel has been added to the wreaths
-of the battalion, the brigade, the division,
-and the Canadian Army.</p>
-
-<p>We have but one sorrow, one deep regret,
-and that is for Our Heroic Dead.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">[101]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">CARNAGE</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">There</span> is a little valley somewhere among
-the rolling hills of the Somme district wherein
-the sun never shines. It is a tiny little valley,
-once part of a not unattractive landscape,
-now a place of horror.</p>
-
-<p>Half a dozen skeletons of trees, rotting
-and torn, fringe the southern bank, and the
-remnants of a sunken road curve beneath the
-swelling hill that shields the valley from the
-sun. Flowers may have grown there once,
-children may have played under the then
-pleasant green of the trees; one can even
-picture some dark-eyed, black-haired maid of
-Picardy, sallying forth from the little hamlet
-not far off with her milking-stool and pail,
-to milk the family cow in the cool shade of
-the trees and the steep above.</p>
-
-<p>But that was long ago—at least, it seems
-as though it <i>must</i> have been long ago—for
-to-day the place is a shambles, a valley of
-Death. Those who speak of the glory of war,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">[102]</span>
-of the wonderful dashing charges, the inspiring
-mighty roar of cannon—let them come
-to this spot and look on this one small corner
-of a great battle-field. Within plain view are
-villages that will have a place in history—piles
-of broken brick and crushed mortar
-that bear silent, eloquent testimony to the
-Kultur of the twentieth century. Round
-about the land is just a series of tiny craters,
-fitted more closely together than the scars on
-the face of a man who has survived a severe
-attack of small-pox; and here and there,
-scattered, still lie the dead. No blade of
-grass dare raise its sheath above ground, for
-the land is sown with steel and iron and lead,
-and the wreckage and wrack and ruin of the
-most bitter strife.</p>
-
-<p>Even those who have seen such things for
-many months past pause involuntarily when
-they reach this valley of the shadow. It is a
-revelation of desolation—the inner temple of
-death. In that little space, perhaps three
-hundred feet long and a bare forty wide, lie
-the bodies of nearly a hundred men, friend
-and foe, whose souls have gone on to the
-happy hunting ground amid circumstances of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">[103]</span>
-which no tongue could give a fitting account,
-no pen a fitting description.</p>
-
-<p>Once a German stronghold, this place
-passed into our hands but a short while since.
-Two guns were tucked away in under the
-hill, and the infantry, suddenly ejected from
-their forward position, fell back on them,
-and taking advantage of a pause strengthened
-their position, and brought up reinforcements.
-Thereupon our guns concentrated on
-them with fearful results, although when the
-infantry swept forward, there were still
-enough men in the deep, half-filled in trench
-to put up a desperate resistance.</p>
-
-<p>It is not difficult to read the story of that
-early morning struggle. The land is churned
-in all directions, two of the bigger trees have
-fallen, and now spread out gnarled branches
-above the remnants of some artillery dugouts.
-Pools of water, thick glutinous mud—both
-are tinged in many spots a dark red-brown—and
-portions of what were once men,
-lie scattered around in dreadful evidence.</p>
-
-<p>But for his pallor, one might think that
-man yonder is still living. He is sitting in an
-easy attitude, leaning forward, one hand idle<span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">[104]</span>
-in his lap, his rifle against his knee, and with
-the other hand raised to his cheek as though
-he were brushing off a fly. But his glassy
-eyes stare, and his face is bloodless and grey,
-while a large hole in his chest shows where
-the enemy shrapnel smote him.</p>
-
-<p>Corpses of dead Germans are piled, in
-places, one over the other, some showing
-terrible gaping wounds, some headless, some
-stripped of all or part of their clothing, by
-the terrific explosion of a great shell which
-rent their garments from them. In more
-than one place old graves have been blown
-sky-high, and huddled skeletons, still clad in
-the rags of a uniform, lie stark under the
-open sky.</p>
-
-<p>Papers, kits, water-bottles, rifles, helmets,
-bayonets, smoke goggles, rations, and ammunition
-are scattered everywhere in confusion.
-Some of the <i>débris</i> is battered to bits,
-some in perfect condition. Shell-cases, shell-noses,
-and shrapnel pellets lie everywhere,
-and there arises from the ground that peculiar,
-terrible odour of blood, bandages, and death,
-an odour always dreaded and never to be
-forgotten. In one German dug-out three men<span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">[105]</span>
-were killed as they lay, and sat, sleeping.
-Some one has put a sock over their faces; it
-were best to let it remain there. Yonder, a
-Canadian and a German lie one on top of the
-other, both clutching their rifles with the
-bayonets affixed to them, one with a bayonet
-thrust through his stomach, the other with a
-bullet through his eye.</p>
-
-<p>At night the very lights shine reluctant
-over the scene, but the moon beams impassive
-on the dead. Burial parties work almost
-silently, speaking in whispers, and, shocking
-anomaly, one now and then hears some trophy
-hunter declare, “Say, this is some souvenir,
-look at this ‘Gott mit Uns’ buckle!”</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_106">[106]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">“A” COMPANY RUSTLES</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">When</span> we got into the bally place it was raining
-in torrents, and the air was also pure
-purple because the Colonel found some one in
-his old billet, and the Town-Major, a cantankerous
-old dug-out who seemed to exist
-chiefly for the purpose of annoying men who
-did go into the front line, was about as helpful
-as the fifth wheel to a wagon. Finally, the
-Colonel shot out of his office like an eighteen-pounder
-from a whizz-bang battery, and later
-on the tattered remnants of our once proud
-and haughty Adjutant announced to us, in
-the tones of a dove who has lost his mate,
-that there were no billets for us at all, and
-that officers and men would have to bivouac
-by the river.</p>
-
-<p>Under all circumstances the Major is cheerful—and
-he has a very clear idea of when it
-is permissible to go around an order. Also
-the Town-Major invariably has the same effect
-on him as such an unwelcome visitor as a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_107">[107]</span>
-skunk at a garden-party would have on the
-garden-party. Having consigned the aforesaid
-T.-M. to perdition in Canadian, English,
-French, and Doukhobor, he said: “We are
-going to have billets for the men, and we are
-going to have billets for ourselves.” That
-quite settled the matter, as far as we Company
-officers were concerned. In the course
-of the next half-hour we had swiped an empty
-street and a half for the men, and put them
-into it, and then we gathered together, seven
-strong, and proceeded to hunt for our own
-quarters.</p>
-
-<p>There is a very strongly developed scouting
-instinct among the Canadian forces in
-the Field. Moreover, we are not overawed
-by outward appearances. In the centre of
-the town we found a château; and an hour
-later we were lunching there comfortably
-ensconed in three-legged arm-chairs, with a
-real bowl of real flowers on the table, and
-certain oddments of cut-glass (found gleefully
-by the batmen) reflecting the bubbling
-vintage of the house of Moët et Chandon.
-Our dining-hall was about sixty feet by
-twenty, and we each had a bedroom of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_108">[108]</span>
-proportionate size, with a bed of sorts in it.
-Moreover, the place was most wonderfully
-clean—it might almost have been prepared
-for us—and McFinnigan, our cook, was in
-the seventh heaven of delight because he had
-found a real stove with an oven.</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot understand,” said the Major,
-“how it is no one is in this place. It’s good
-enough for a Divisional Commander.”</p>
-
-<p>There was actually a bath in the place with
-water running in the taps. Jones, always
-something of a pessimist, shook his head when
-he saw the bath.</p>
-
-<p>“Look here, all you boys,” he said, “this
-is no place for us. There is an unwritten law
-in this outfit that no man, unless he wears
-red and gold things plastered all over his
-person, shall have more than one bath in one
-month. Now <i>I</i> had one three weeks ago, and
-I am still—— but why dwell on it?”</p>
-
-<p>Needless to say he was ruled out of
-order.</p>
-
-<p>Just to show our darned independence, we
-decided to invite most of the other officers
-of the battalion to dinner that evening,
-“plenty much swank” and all that kind of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">[109]</span>
-thing. Would that we had thought better
-of it. Of course we eventually decided to
-make a real banquet of it, appointed a regular
-mess committee, went and saw the Paymaster,
-and sent orderlies dashing madly
-forth to buy up all the liqueurs, Scotch, soda,
-and other potations that make glad the heart
-of man. We arranged for a four-course dinner,
-paraded the batmen and distributed back-sheesh
-and forcible addresses on the subjects
-of table-laying and how to balance the soup
-and unplop the bubbly.</p>
-
-<p>Nobody came near us at all. As far as the
-Town-Major was concerned we might have
-been in Kamtchatka. The Major had gone
-to the C.O. (<i>after</i> lunch) and told him we had
-“found a little place to shelter in,” and as
-the latter had written a particularly biting,
-satirical, not to say hectic note to the Brigadier
-on the subject of the Town-Major’s villainy,
-and was therefore feeling better, he just told
-the Major to carry on, and did not worry
-about us in the least.</p>
-
-<p>Nineteen of us—Majors, Captains, and
-“Loots”—sat down to dinner. It was a
-good dinner, the batmen performed prodigies<span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">[110]</span>
-of waitership; the wine bubbled and frothed,
-frothed and bubbled, and we all bubbled too.
-It was a red-letter night. After about the
-seventeenth speech, in which the Doc. got a
-little mixed concerning the relationship of
-Bacchus and a small statue of the Venus de
-Milo which adorned one corner of the room,
-some one called for a song. It was then
-about 11 “pip emma.”</p>
-
-<p>We were in the midst of what the P.M.
-called a little “Close Harmony”—singing as
-Caruso and McCormack <span class="allsmcap">NEVER</span> sang—when
-we heard the sound of feet in the passage,
-feet that clanked and clunk—feet with
-spurs on.</p>
-
-<p>A hush fell over us, an expectant hush.
-The door opened, without the ceremony of
-a knock, and in walked not any of your
-common or garden Brigadiers, not even a
-Major-General, but a fully-fledged Lieutenant-General,
-followed by his staff, and the
-Town-Major.</p>
-
-<p>In our regiment we have always prided ourselves
-on the fact that we can carry on anywhere
-and under any circumstances. But this
-fell night our untarnished record came very<span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">[111]</span>
-near to disaster. It was as though Zeus had
-appeared at a Roman banquet being held in
-his most sacred grove.</p>
-
-<p>The General advanced three paces and
-halted. Those of us who were able to do so
-got up. Those who could not rise remained
-seated. The silence was not only painful, it
-was oppressive. A steel-grey, generalistic eye
-slowly travelled through each one of us, up
-and down the table, unadorned with the
-remnants of many bottles, the half-finished
-glasses of many drinks. Just then the Town-Major
-took a step forward; he was a palish
-green, with an under-tinge of yellow.</p>
-
-<p>“<span class="smcap">What</span> is the meaning of——” said the
-General, in a voice tinged with the iciest
-breath of the far distant Pole, but he got no
-further.</p>
-
-<p>There was a sudden rending, ear-splitting
-roar, the lights went out, the walls of the
-château seemed to sway, and the plaster fell
-in great lumps from the frescoed ceiling.</p>
-
-<p>That (as we afterwards discovered) no one
-was hurt was a marvel. It is the one and only
-time when we of this regiment have thanked
-Fritz for shelling us. In the pale light of early<span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">[112]</span>
-dawn the last member of the party slunk into
-the bivouac ground. The General, where was
-he? We knew not, neither did we care.</p>
-
-<p>But it was the first and last time that
-“A” Company rustled a Corps Commander’s
-Château!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">[113]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">“MINNIE AND ‘FAMILY’”</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">When</span> first I met her it was a lush, lovely
-day in June; the birds were singing, the
-grass was green, the earth teemed with life,
-vegetable and animal, and the froglets hopped
-around in the communication trenches. Some
-cheery optimist was whistling “Down by the
-Old Mill Stream,” and another equally cheery
-individual was potting German sniping plates
-with an accuracy worthy of a better cause.
-It was, in sooth, “A quiet day on the Western
-Front.”</p>
-
-<p>And then <i>she</i> came. Stealing towards me
-silently, coming upon me like a brigand in
-the leafy woods. I did not see her ere she was
-descending upon me, but others did. There
-came distant yells, which I failed to interpret
-for a moment; then, glancing upward, I saw
-her bobbing through the air, her one leg
-waving, her round ugly head a blot on the
-sky’s fair face. The next thing that happened
-was that the trench gathered unto itself
-wings, rose and clasped me lovingly from the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">[114]</span>
-neck down in a cold, earthy embrace, the
-while the air was rent with an ear-splitting
-roar, like unto a battery of 17-inch naval
-guns firing a salvo. After that I respected
-Minnie; I feared her—nay, I was deadly
-scared of her.</p>
-
-<p>Of all the nasty things “old Fritz” has
-invented, the Minenflamm is perhaps the
-nastiest of all. She is purely vicious, utterly
-destructive, and quite frightful. The very
-slowness with which she sails through the air
-is in itself awe-inspiring. I never see Minnie
-without longing for home, or the inside of
-the deepest German dug-out ever digged by
-those hard-working German Pioneer blighters,
-who must all have been moles in their respective
-pre-incarnations. Minnie reminds one of
-Mrs. Patrick Campbell in <i>The Second Mrs.
-Tangueray</i>: all fire and flame and perdition
-generally.</p>
-
-<p>If you are a very wide-awake Johnny,
-absolutely on the spot, don’t-you-know—you
-may hear her sigh ere she leaves the (temporary)
-Vaterland to take flight. It is a
-gentle sigh, which those verblitzender English
-artillery-men are not meant to hear. If you <i>do</i><span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">[115]</span>
-happen by chance to hear it, then the only
-thing to do, although it is not laid down in
-K. R. &amp; O. or Divisional Orders (you see they
-only <i>hear</i> about these things), is to silently steal
-away; to seek the seclusion which your dug-out
-grants. Later, if you are a new officer, and
-want to impress the natives, as it were, you
-saunter jauntily forth, cigarette at the correct
-slope, cane pending vertically from the right
-hand, grasped firmly in the palm, little finger
-downwards, cap at an angle of 45°, and say:
-“Minnie, by Jove! Eh what? God bless my
-soul. Did it fall over heah or over theah?”
-Which is a sure way of making yourself really
-popular.</p>
-
-<p>Fortunately Minnie has her dull days. Days
-when she positively refuses to bust, and sulks,
-figuratively speaking, in silent wrath and
-bitterness on the upper strata of “sunny”
-France, or Belgium, as the case may be.
-After many Agags have trodden very delicately
-around her, and she has proved incurably
-sulky and poor-spirited, some one
-infused with the Souvenir spirit carts her
-away, and pounds her softly with a cold-chisel
-and a mallet, until he has either dissected<span class="pagenum" id="Page_116">[116]</span>
-her interior economy, or else she has
-segmented <i>his</i>.</p>
-
-<p>Minnie has her little family. The eldest
-male child is called by the euphonious name
-of Sausage, and he has brothers of various
-sizes, from the pure-blood Hoch-geboren
-down to the bourgeois little chap who makes
-an awful lot of fuss and clatter generally. I
-remember meeting little Hans one day, about
-the dinner hour, when he was a very naughty
-boy indeed. The Company was waiting to
-get a half-canteenful of the tannin-cum-tea-leaves,
-called “tea” on the Western front
-(contained in one large dixie placed in a
-fairly open spot in the front line), when
-suddenly little Hans poked his blunt nose
-into the air, and all notions of tea-drinking
-were banished <i>pro tem</i>. In other words, the
-Company took cover automatically, as it were,
-without awaiting any word of command.
-Personally I tripped over a bath-mat, came
-into close contact with an old shell-hole full
-of mud, and offered up a little prayer in the
-record time of one-fifth of a second. Instead
-of entering Nirvana I only heard a resounding
-splash, followed by a sizzling sound, like<span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">[117]</span>
-that made by an exhausted locomotive. Little
-Hans had fallen into the dixie, and positively
-refused to explode. I think the tannin (or the
-tea leaves) choked him!</p>
-
-<p>There is also an infant—a female infant—who
-deserves mention. Her name is Rifle-grenade,
-and, according to the very latest
-communication from official sources, the
-gentleman who states with some emphasis
-that he is divinely kingly, refuses to sanction
-any further production of her species. Like
-many females she is one perpetual note of
-interrogation. She starts on her wayward
-course thus: “Whrr-on? Whrr-oo? Whoo?
-Whoo? Whe-oo? Whe-<i>oo</i>?” And then she
-goes off with a bang, just as Cleopatra may
-have done when Antony marked a pretty
-hand-maid.</p>
-
-<p>To sum up: Minnie and her children are
-undoubtedly the product of perverted science
-and Kultur, aided and abetted by the very
-Devil!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">[118]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">AN OFFICER AND GENTLEMAN</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">He</span> was a tall well-built chap, with big, blue
-eyes, set far apart, and dark wavy hair,
-which he kept too closely cropped to allow it
-to curl, as was meant by nature. He had a
-cheery smile and a joke for every one, and
-his men loved him. More than that, they respected
-him thoroughly, for he never tolerated
-slackness or lack of discipline for an instant,
-and the lips under the little bronze moustache
-could pull themselves into an uncompromisingly
-straight line when he was justly angry.</p>
-
-<p>When he strafed the men, he did it directly,
-without sparing them or their failings, but
-he never sneered at them, and his direct hits
-were so patently honest that they realised it
-at once, and felt and looked rather like
-penitent little boys.</p>
-
-<p>He never asked an N.C.O. or man to do
-anything he would not do himself, and he
-usually did it first. If there was a dangerous
-patrol, he led. If there was trying work to
-do, under fire, he stayed in the most dangerous<span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">[119]</span>
-position, and helped. He exacted instant
-obedience to orders, but never gave an order
-that the men could not understand without
-explaining the reason for it. He showed his
-N.C.O.’s that he had confidence in them, and
-did not need to ask for their confidence in
-him. He had it.</p>
-
-<p>In the trenches he saw to his men’s comfort
-first—his own was a secondary consideration.
-If a man was killed or wounded, he was
-generally on the spot before the stretcher-bearers,
-and, not once, but many times, he
-took a dying man’s last messages, and faithfully
-wrote to his relations. A sacred duty,
-but one that wrung his withers. He went
-into action not only <i>with</i> his men, but at
-their head, and he fought like a young lion
-until the objective was attained. Then, he
-was one of the first to bind up a prisoner’s
-wounds, and to check any severity towards
-unwounded prisoners. He went into a show
-with his revolver in one hand, a little cane in
-the other, a cigarette between his lips.</p>
-
-<p>“You see,” he would explain, “it comforts
-a fellow to smoke, and the stick is useful,
-and a good tonic for the men. Besides, it<span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">[120]</span>
-helps me try to kid myself I’m not scared—and
-I <i>am</i>, you know! As much as any one
-could be.”</p>
-
-<p>On parade he was undoubtedly the smartest
-officer in the regiment, and he worked like
-a Trojan to make his men smart also. At the
-same time he would devote three-quarters of
-any leisure he had to training his men in the
-essentials of modern warfare, his spare time
-being willingly sacrificed for their benefit.</p>
-
-<p>No man was ever paraded before him with
-a genuine grievance that he did not endeavour
-to rectify. In some manner he would, nine
-times out of ten, turn a “hard case” into a
-good soldier. One of his greatest powers was
-his particularly winning smile. When his
-honest eyes were on you, when his lips curved
-and two faint dimples showed in his cheeks,
-it was impossible not to like him. Even those
-who envied him—and among his brother
-officers there were not a few—could not
-bring themselves to say anything against
-him.</p>
-
-<p>If he had a failing it was a weakness for
-pretty women, but his manner towards an
-old peasant woman, even though she was<span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">[121]</span>
-dirty and hideous, was, if anything, more
-courteous than towards a woman of his own
-class. He could not bear to see them doing
-work for which he considered they were unfit.
-One day he carried a huge washing-basket
-full of clothes down the main street of a
-little village in Picardy, through a throng of
-soldiers, rather than see the poor old dame
-he had met staggering under her burden go
-a step farther unaided.</p>
-
-<p>The Colonel happened to see him, and spoke
-to him rather sharply about it. His answer
-was characteristic: “I’m very sorry, sir. I
-forgot about what the men might think when
-I saw the poor old creature. In fact, sir, if
-you’ll pardon my saying so, I would not
-mind much if they did make fun of it.”</p>
-
-<p>He loved children. He never had any loose
-coppers or small change long, and two of
-his comrades surprised him on one occasion
-slipping a five-franc note into the crinkled
-rosy palm of a very, very new baby. “He
-looked so jolly cute asleep,” he explained
-simply.</p>
-
-<p>Almost all his fellow-officers owed him
-money. He was a poor financier, and when<span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">[122]</span>
-he had a cent it belonged to whoever was in
-need of it at the time.</p>
-
-<p>One morning at dawn, he led a little patrol
-to examine some new work in the German
-front line. He encountered an unsuspected
-enemy listening post, and he shot two of the
-three Germans, but the remaining German
-killed him before his men could prevent it.
-They brought his body back and he was given
-a soldier’s grave between the trenches. There
-he lies with many another warrior, taking
-his rest, while his comrades mourn the loss
-of a fine soldier and gallant gentleman.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">[123]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">“S.R.D.”</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">When</span> the days shorten, and the rain never
-ceases; when the sky is ever grey, the nights
-chill, and the trenches thigh deep in mud and
-water; when the front is altogether a beastly
-place, in fact, we have one consolation. It
-comes in gallon jars, marked simply “S.R.D.”
-It does not matter how wearied the ration
-party may be, or how many sacks of coke,
-biscuits, or other rations may be left by the
-wayside, the rum always arrives.</p>
-
-<p>Once, very long ago, one of a new draft
-broke a bottle on the way up to Coy. H.Q.
-(The rum, by the way, <i>always</i> goes to Coy.
-H.Q.) For a week his life was not worth
-living. The only thing that saved him from
-annihilation was the odour of S.R.D., which
-clung to him for days. The men would take a
-whiff before going on a working-party, and
-on any occasion when they felt low and
-depressed.</p>
-
-<p>There are those who would deny Tommy
-his three spoonfuls of rum in the trenches;<span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">[124]</span>
-those who declare that a man soaked to the
-skin, covered with mud, and bitterly cold,
-is better with a cayenne pepper lozenge. Let
-such people take any ordinary night of sentry
-duty on the Western front in mid-winter, and
-their ideas will change. There are not one,
-but numberless occasions, on which a tot of
-rum has saved a man from sickness, possibly
-from a serious illness. Many a life-long
-teetotaler has conformed to S.R.D. and taken
-the first drink of his life on the battle-fields
-of France, not because he wanted to, but
-because he had to. Only those who have
-suffered from bitter cold and wet, only those
-who have been actually “all-in” know what
-a debt of gratitude is owing to those wise
-men who ordered a small ration of rum for
-every soldier—officer, N.C.O., and man—on
-the Western front in winter.</p>
-
-<p>The effect of rum is wonderful, morally as
-well as physically. In the pelting rain, through
-acres of mud, a working-party of fifty men
-plough their weary way to the Engineers’
-dump, and get shovels and picks. In single
-file they trudge several kilometres to the
-work in hand, possibly the clearing out of a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">[125]</span>
-fallen-in trench, which is mud literally to the
-knees. They work in the mud, slosh, and
-rain, for at least four hours. Four hours of
-misery—during which any self-respecting
-Italian labourer would lose his job rather than
-work—and then they traipse back again to a
-damp, musty billet, distant five or six kilometres.
-To them, that little tot of rum is not
-simply alcohol. It is a God-send. Promise it
-to them before they set out, and those men
-will work like Trojans. Deny it to them, and
-more than half will parade sick in the morning.</p>
-
-<p>It is no use, if the rum ration is short, to
-water it down. The men know it is watered,
-and their remarks are “frequent and painful,
-and free!” Woe betide the officer who, through
-innocence or intentionally, looks too freely on
-the rum when it is brown! His reputation is
-gone for ever. If he became intoxicated on
-beer, champagne, or whisky, he would only
-be envied by the majority of his men, but
-should he drink too much rum—that is an
-unpardonable offence!</p>
-
-<p>As a rule, one of the hardest things in the
-world to do is to awaken men once they have
-gone to sleep at night. For no matter what<span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">[126]</span>
-purpose, it will take a company a good half-hour
-to pull itself together and stand to. But
-murmur softly to the orderly Sergeant that
-there will be a rum issue in ten minutes, and
-though it be 1 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span> or the darkest hour before
-dawn, when the roll is called hardly a man
-will be absent! That little word of three
-letters will rouse the most soporific from their
-stupor!</p>
-
-<p>Few men take their rum in the same fashion
-or with the same expression. The new draft
-look at it coyly, carry the cup gingerly to
-their lips, smell it, make a desperate resolution,
-gulp it down, and cough for five minutes
-afterwards. The old hands—the men of
-rubicund countenance and noses of a doubtful
-hue—grasp the cup, look to see if the issue
-is a full one, raise it swiftly, and drain it
-without a moment’s hesitation, smacking
-their lips. You can see the man who was up
-for being drunk the last pay-day coming
-from afar for his rum. His eyes glisten, his
-face shines with hopefulness, and his whole
-manner is one of supreme expectation and
-content.</p>
-
-<p>It is strange how frequently the company<span class="pagenum" id="Page_127">[127]</span>
-staff, from the Sergeant-Major down to the
-most recently procured batman, find it
-necessary to enter the inner sanctum of H.Q.
-after the rum has come. The Sergeant-Major
-arrives with a large, sweet smile, acting as
-guard of honour. “Rum up, sir.” “Thank
-you, Sergeant-Major.” “I’ve detailed that
-working-party, sir.” “Thank you, Sergeant-Major.”
-“Is that all, sir?” “Yes, thank
-you, Sergeant-Major.” He vanishes, to reappear
-a minute later. “Did you <span class="allsmcap">CALL</span> me,
-sir?” “No” ... long pause ... “Oh!
-Still there? Er, have a drink, Sergeant-Major?”
-“Well, sir, I guess I <i>could</i> manage
-a little drop! Thank you, sir. <i>Good</i>-night,
-sir!”</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">[128]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">BEDS</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p>“<span class="smcap">Think</span> of my leave coming in two weeks,
-and of getting a decent bed to sleep in, with
-sheets!”</p>
-
-<p>Sancho Panza blessed sleep, but perhaps
-he always had a good bed to sleep in; we,
-who can almost slumber on “apron” wire,
-have a weakness for good beds.</p>
-
-<p>To appreciate fully what a good bed is, one
-must live for a time without one, and go to
-rest wrapped in a martial cloak—to wit a
-British warm or a trench coat, plus the universal
-sand-bag, than which nothing more
-generally useful has been seen in this war.
-Any man who has spent six months (in the
-infantry) at the front knows all about beds.
-Any man with a year’s service is a first-class,
-a number one, connoisseur. The good bed is
-so rare that whoever spends a night in one
-talks about it for a week, and brings it up in
-reminiscences over the charcoal brazier.</p>
-
-<p>“You remember when we were on the long
-hike from the salient? And the little place<span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">[129]</span>
-we struck the third night—Cattelle-Villeul I
-think it was called? By George, I had a good
-bed. A peach! It had a spring mattress and
-real linen sheets—not cotton—and two pillows
-with frilly things on them, and a ripping
-quilt, with a top-hole eider-down. I was
-afraid to get into it until my batman produced
-that new pair of green pyjamas with
-the pink stripes. It simply hurt to give that
-bed up!”</p>
-
-<p>And if you let him he will continue in like
-vein for half an hour. Recollections of that
-bed have entered into his soul; it is one of the
-bright spots in a gloomy life.</p>
-
-<p>Needless to say, the farther you go back
-from the line, the better the beds. They can
-be roughly classified as follows: Battle beds.
-Front line beds. Support beds. Reserve beds.
-Divisional rest beds. Corps reserve beds, and
-Army Reserve beds. Beyond this it is fifty-fifty
-you will get a good bed, provided there
-are not too many troops in the place you go to.</p>
-
-<p>Battle beds, as such, are reserved for
-battalion commanders, seconds in command,
-and adjutants. Sometimes Os.C. units have
-a look-in, but the humble sub. has <i>not</i>, unless<span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">[130]</span>
-he is one of those Johnnies who can always
-make something out of nothing.</p>
-
-<p>When there is a “show” on nobody expects
-to sleep more than two hours in twenty-four,
-and he’s lucky if he gets that. The C.O. takes
-his brief slumber on some bare boards raised
-above the floor-level in a dug-out. The Os.C.
-units use a stretcher, with a cape for a pillow,
-and the others sleep any old where—on a
-broken chair, in a corner on the ground, on
-the steps of a dug-out, on the fire-step of a
-parapet, or even leaning against the parapet.
-One of the best snoozes we ever had was of
-the last variety, while Fritz was plastering
-the communication trenches with a barrage
-a mouse could not creep through.</p>
-
-<p>There is one thing about battle beds; one
-is far too weary to do anything but flop
-limply down, and go instantly to sleep. The
-nature of your couch is of secondary importance.
-Possibly the prize goes to the man
-who slept through an intense bombardment,
-curled up between two dead Germans, whom
-he thought were a couple of his pals, asleep,
-when he tumbled in to rest.</p>
-
-<p>Front line beds vary according to sector.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">[131]</span>
-Usually they are simply a series of bunks,
-tucked in one above the other as in a steamer-cabin,
-and made of a stretch of green canvas
-nailed to a pair of two by fours. Sometimes
-an ingenious blighter introduces expanded
-metal or chicken wire into the general make-up,
-with the invariable result that it gets
-broken by some 200-pounder, and remains a
-menace to tender portions of the human
-frame until some one gets “real wild” and
-smashes up the whole concern.</p>
-
-<p>In support, the “downy couch” does not
-improve very much. Sometimes it is worse,
-and it is always inhabited by a fauna of the
-largest and most voracious kind.</p>
-
-<p>There is a large element of chance as to
-reserve beds. They are generally snares of
-disillusionment, but once in a while the connoisseur
-strikes oil. It will not have sheets—clean
-sheets, at all events—but it may possess
-the odd blanket, and the room may have been
-cleaned a couple of weeks ago. If Madame
-is clean the bed will be clean; if otherwise,
-otherwise also.</p>
-
-<p>All the beds at the front are the same in
-some respects. They are all wooden, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_132">[132]</span>
-they nearly all have on them huge piles of
-mattresses, four or five deep. It is wisest not
-to investigate too thoroughly the inner consciousnesses
-of the latter, or the awakening
-may be rude. In the old days, long, long ago,
-when the dove of Peace billed and cooed
-over the roof of the world, no self-respecting
-citizen would sleep in them, but now with
-what joy do we sink with a sigh of relief into
-the once abominated feather-bed of doubtful
-antecedents, which has been slept in for two
-years by one officer after another, and never,
-never, never been aired.</p>
-
-<p>C’est la guerre!</p>
-
-<p>Divisional rest beds are at least two points
-superior to the last. They are the kind of
-beds run by a sixth-rate lodging-house in
-Bloomsbury, taken on the whole. Usually
-there is one bed short per unit, so some one
-has to double up, with the result that the
-stronger of the twain wraps <i>all</i> the bed-clothes
-around him, and the other chap does not
-sleep at all, or is ignominiously rolled out on
-to the brick <i>pavé</i>.</p>
-
-<p>Every one in French villages must go to
-bed with their stockings on.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_133">[133]</span>Judging by the permanent kinks in all the
-beds, they must have been beds <i>solitaire</i> for
-a life-time, before the soldiers came.</p>
-
-<p>Once we were asked to share a bed with
-<i>bébé</i>, who was three. We refused. On another
-occasion, when we were very tired indeed, we
-were told that the only bed available was that
-usually dwelt in by “Jeanne.” We inspected
-it, and made a peaceful occupation. “Jeanne”
-came home unexpectedly at midnight, and
-slipped indoors quietly to her room. It was
-a bad quarter of an hour, never to be forgotten!
-Especially when we found out in the
-morning that “Jeanne” was twenty years
-old, and decidedly pretty. Our reputation in
-that household was a minus quantity.</p>
-
-<p>In corps reserve one gets beds with coffee
-in the morning at 7 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span> “Votre café, M’sieu.”
-“Oui, oui, mercy; leave it outside the door—la
-porte—please!” “Voiçi, M’sieu! Vous
-avez bien dormi?” And of course you can’t
-say anything, even if Madame stands by the
-pillow and tells you the whole story of how
-Yvonne makes the coffee!</p>
-
-<p>They are fearless, these French women!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_134">[134]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">MARCHING</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">We</span> have left the statue of the Virgin Mary
-which pends horizontally over the Rue de
-Bapaume far behind us and the great bivouacs,
-and the shell-pitted soil of the Somme front.
-Only at night can we see the flickering glare
-to the southward, and the ceaseless drum of
-the guns back yonder is like the drone of a
-swarm of bees. Yesterday we reached the
-last village we shall see in Picardy, and this
-morning we shall march out of the Departement
-de la Somme, whither we know not.</p>
-
-<p>It is one of those wonderful mid-October
-days when the sun rises red above a light,
-low mist, and land sparkling with hoar-frost;
-when the sky is azure blue, the air clean and
-cold, and the roads white and hard. A day
-when the “fall-in” sounds from rolling plain
-to wooded slope and back again, clear and
-mellow, and when the hearts of men are glad.</p>
-
-<p>“Bat-ta-lion ... Shun!”</p>
-
-<p>It does one good to hear the unison of
-sound as the heels come together, and a few<span class="pagenum" id="Page_135">[135]</span>
-moments later we have moved off, marching
-to attention down the little main street of
-Blondin-par-la-Gironde, with its 300 inhabitants,
-old, old church, and half-dozen estaminets.
-Madame, where we billeted last
-night, and her strapping daughter Marthe,
-are standing on the doorstep to see us go
-by. “Bonjour, M’sieurs, Au revoir, Bonne
-chance!”</p>
-
-<p>“Left, left, left—ri—left,” the pace is short,
-sharp, and decisive, more like the Rifle Brigade
-trot. Even the backsliders, the men who
-march as a rule like old women trying to
-catch a bus, have briskened up this morning.
-Looking along the column from the rear one
-can see that rhythmical ripple which betokens
-the best marching, and instinctively the mind
-flashes back to that early dawn three days
-ago—no, four—when they came out of the
-trenches, muddy, dead-beat, awesomely dirty,
-just able to hobble along in fours.</p>
-
-<p>Ninety-six hours and what a change!</p>
-
-<p>“March at ease.”</p>
-
-<p>The tail of the column has passed the last
-little low cottage in the village, and the
-twenty-one kilometre “hike” has begun.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_136">[136]</span>
-Corporal McTavish, mindful that he was
-once a staff bugler, unslings his instrument,
-and begins—after a few horrid practice notes—to
-play “Bonnie Dundee,” strictly according
-to his own recollection of that ancient
-tune. The scouts and signallers are passing
-remarks of an uncomplimentary nature anent
-the Colonel’s second horse, which, when not
-trying to prance on the Regimental Sergeant-Major’s
-toes, shows an evil inclination to
-charge backwards through the ranks. The
-bombers are grousing, as usual; methodically,
-generally, but without bitterness. “They
-will not sing, they cannot play, but they can
-surely fight.”</p>
-
-<p>“A” Company band consisting of the
-aforesaid Corporal McTavish, three mouth-organs,
-an accordion, a flute, and a piccolo,
-plus sundry noises, is heartily engaged with
-the air “I want to <i>go</i> back, I <span class="allsmcap">WANT</span> to <i>go
-back</i> (<i>cres.</i>), I want to go back (<i>dim.</i>), To the
-farm (<i>pizzicato</i>),” which changes after the
-first kilometre to “Down in Arizona where
-the Bad Men are.” They are known as the
-“Birds,” and not only do they whistle, but
-they also sing!</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_137">[137]</span>“B” Company is wrapped in gloom; they
-march with a grim determination, a “just-you-wait-till-I-catch-you”
-expression which
-bodes ill for somebody. Did not a rum-jar—a
-full jar of rum—vanish from the rations
-last night? Isn’t the Quartermaster—and the
-C.S.M.’s batman too—endowed with a frantic
-“hang-over” this morning? This world is an
-unfair, rotten kind of a hole anyhow. The
-Company wit, one Walters, starts to sing
-“And when I die.” He is allowed to proceed
-as far as “Just pickle my bones,” but “in
-alcohol” is barely out of his mouth when
-groans break in upon his ditty, coupled with
-loud-voiced protests to “Have a heart.”</p>
-
-<p>For six months past “C” Company has
-rejoiced in the generic title of “Scorpions.”
-Their strong suit is limerics, the mildest of
-which would bring a blush to the cheek of
-an old-time camp-follower. Within the last
-twenty-four hours their O.C. has been awarded
-the Military Cross. His usually stern visage—somewhat
-belied by a twinkling blue eye—is
-covered with a seraphic smile. Cantering
-along the column comes the Colonel. The
-artists of the limeric subside. Pulling up, the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_138">[138]</span>
-C.O. about turns and holds out his hand. “I
-want to congratulate you, Captain Bolton.
-Well deserved. Well deserved. Honour to
-the regiment ... yes, yes ... excellent,
-excellent ... ahem ... thank you, thank
-you...!” With one accord the old scorpions,
-led by the Company Sergeant-Major,
-break into the refrain “See him smi-ling, see
-him smi-ling, see him smi-i-ling just now.”
-And Bolton certainly does smile.</p>
-
-<p>By this time we have marched for an hour,
-and the signal comes to halt, and fall out on
-the right of the road. The men smoke, and
-the officers gather together in little groups.
-It is wonderful what ten minutes’ rest will do
-when a man is carrying all his worldly goods
-on his back.</p>
-
-<p>A few minutes after starting out again we
-see ahead of us a little group of horses, and
-a red hat or twain, and red tabs. The Divisional
-Commander <i>and</i> the Brigadier. The
-Battalion takes a deep breath, slopes arms,
-pulls itself together generally, dresses by the
-right, and looks proud and haughty. There
-is a succession of “Eyes Rights” down the
-column, as each unit passes the reviewing<span class="pagenum" id="Page_139">[139]</span>
-base, and then we all sigh again. <i>That’s</i> over
-for to-day!</p>
-
-<p>On we march, through many quaint little
-old-world villages, every one of which is filled
-with troops, up hill and down dale, through
-woods, golden and brown, tramping steadily
-onward, a long green-brown column a thousand
-strong. Cussing the new drafts who
-fall out, cussing the old boots that are worn
-out, cussing the war in general, and our packs
-in detail, but none the less content. For who
-can resist the call of the column, the thought
-of the glorious rest when the march is done,
-and the knowledge that whatever we may be
-in years to come, just now we are <span class="allsmcap">IT</span>!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_140">[140]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">THE NATIVES</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p>“<span class="smcap">Bonn</span> joor, Madame!”</p>
-
-<p>“Bonjour, M’sieu!”</p>
-
-<p>“Avvy voo pang, Madame?”</p>
-
-<p>“Braëd? But yes, M’sieu. How much you
-want? Two? Seize sous, M’sieu.”</p>
-
-<p>“<i>How</i> much does the woman say, Buster?”</p>
-
-<p>“Sixteen sous, cuckoo!”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, here’s five francs.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, but, M’sieu! Me no monnaie! No
-chanch! Attendez, je vous donnerai du
-papier.”</p>
-
-<p>Madame searches in the innermost recesses
-of an old drawer, and produces one French
-penny, two sous, a two-franc bill of the Commune
-of Lisseville, stuck together with bits
-of sticking-paper, a very dirty one-franc bill
-labelled St. Omer, and two 50-centimes notes
-from somewhere the other side of Amiens.</p>
-
-<p>“Je regrette, M’sieu,” Madame waves her
-hands in the air, “mais c’est tout ce que
-j’ai.... All dat I ’ave, M’sieu!”</p>
-
-<p>The transaction, which has taken a full ten<span class="pagenum" id="Page_141">[141]</span>
-minutes, is at last completed. They are very
-long-suffering, the natives, taken on the whole.
-In the first place “C’est la guerre.” Secondly,
-they, too, have soldier husbands, sons, and
-brothers and cousins serving in the Grandes
-Armées. Is it to be expected that they be
-well treated unless <i>we</i> do <i>our</i> share? And—these
-British soldiers, they have much money.
-And they are generous for the most part.</p>
-
-<p>So Madame, whose husband is in Champagne,
-gives up the best bedroom to Messieurs
-les Officiers, and sleeps with her baby in the
-attic. The batmen use her poële, and sit
-around it in the evening drinking her coffee.
-Le Commandant buys butter, milk, eggs—“mais,
-mon dieu, one would think a hen laid
-an egg every hour to hear him! Trois douzaine!
-But, Monsieur, I have but six poules, and
-they overwork themselves already! There is
-not another egg above eleven dans tous le
-pays, M’sieu. Champagne? But yes, certainement.
-Bénédictine? Ah, non, M’sieu, it
-is défendu, and we sold the last bottle to an
-officier with skirts a week ago. Un treès bon
-officier, M’sieu; he stay two days, and make
-love to Juliette. Juliette fiancée? Tiens, she<span class="pagenum" id="Page_142">[142]</span>
-has a million, M’sieu, to hear them talk, like
-every pretty girl in France. So soon you enter
-the doorway, M’sieu, and see Juliette, you
-say ‘Moi fiancé, vous?’ You are très taquin—verree
-bad boys—les Anglais!”</p>
-
-<p>Sometimes there is war, red war. Madame
-enters, wringing her hands, her hair suggestive
-of lamentation and despair. She wishes to see
-M’sieu l’Officier who speaks a little French.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, M’sieu, but it is terrible. I give to
-the Ordonnances my fire, my cook-pots, and
-a bed of good hay in the stable, next to the
-cows, and what do they do? M’sieu, they steal
-my gate that was put there by my grandfather—he
-who won a decoration in soixante
-et six—and they get a little axe and make
-of it fire-wood! And in the early morning
-they milk the cows. Ah, but, M’sieu, I will
-go to the Maire and make a réclammation!
-Fifteen francs for a new gate, and seventeen
-sous for the milk that they have stolen! And
-the cuillers! Before the war I buy a new set,
-with Henri, of twenty-four cuillers. Where
-are they? All but three are volées, M’sieu!
-It is not juste. M’sieu le Capitaine who was
-here a week ago last Dimanche—for I went<span class="pagenum" id="Page_143">[143]</span>
-to Mass—say it is a dam shame, M’sieu. I
-do not like to make the trouble, M’sieu, but
-I must live. La veuve Marnot over yonder,
-two houses down the street on the left-hand
-side, she could have a hundred gates burned
-and say nothing. She is très riche. They say
-the Mayor make déjà his advances. But me,
-what shall I do, my gate a desecration in the
-stoves, M’sieu, and the milk of my cows
-drunk by the maudits ordonnances!”</p>
-
-<p>Note in the mess president’s accounts: “To
-one gate (burned) and milk stolen, 7.50 francs.”</p>
-
-<p>All over France and Belgium little stores
-have grown and flourished. They sell tinned
-goods without limit, from cigarettes, through
-lobster, to peaches.</p>
-
-<p>Both are practical countries.</p>
-
-<p>In nearly all these boutiques there is a
-pretty girl. Both nations have learned the
-commercial value of a pretty girl. It increases
-the credit side of the business 75 per
-cent. In the Estaminets it is the same, only
-more so. Their turnover is a thing which
-will be spoken of by their great-grandchildren
-with bated breath.</p>
-
-<p>More cases than one are known where the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_144">[144]</span>
-lonely soldier has made a proposal, in form,
-to the fair débitante who nightly handed him
-his beer over the bar of a little Estaminet.
-Sometimes he has been accepted pour l’amour
-de sa cassette—sometimes “pour l’amour de
-ses beaux yeux!”</p>
-
-<p>In a little hamlet several days’ march behind
-the firing-line, lived a widow. She was a grass-widow
-before Verdun, and there she became
-“veuve.” She was a tall, handsome woman,
-twenty-seven or twenty-eight perhaps, and
-her small feet and ankles, the proud carriage
-of her head, and the delicate aquiline nose
-bespoke her above the peasantry. She kept a
-little café at the junction of three cross-roads.
-The natives know her as Madame de Maupin.</p>
-
-<p>Why “de” you ask? Because her father
-was a French count and her mother was a
-femme de chambre. The affair made an
-esclandre of some magnitude many years ago.
-Madame de Maupin was fille naturelle. She
-married, at the wishes of her old harridan of
-a mother, a labourer of the village. She
-despised her husband. He was uncouth and
-a peasant. In her the cloven hoof showed
-little. Despite no advantages of education<span class="pagenum" id="Page_145">[145]</span>
-she had the instincts of her aristocratic
-father. The natives disliked her for that
-reason.</p>
-
-<p>Madame de Maupin kept a café. Until the
-soldiers came it did not pay, but she would
-not keep an Estaminet. It was so hopelessly
-“vulgaire.” After closing hours, between
-eight and ten, Madame de Maupin held her
-Court. Officers gathered in the little back
-room, and she entertained them, while they
-drank. She had wit, and she was very handsome.
-One of her little court, a young
-officer, fell in love with her. Her husband
-was dead.</p>
-
-<p>Her lover had money, many acres, and
-position. He proposed to her. She loved him
-and—she refused him, “because,” she said
-simply, “you would not be happy.”</p>
-
-<p>He was sent to the Somme.</p>
-
-<p>Madame de Maupin closed her Estaminet
-and vanished.</p>
-
-<p>There is a story told, which no one believes,
-of a woman, dressed in a private’s uniform
-of the British army, who was found, killed,
-among the ruins of Thiepval. She lay beside
-a wounded officer, who died of his wounds<span class="pagenum" id="Page_146">[146]</span>
-soon after. He had been tended by some one,
-for his wounds were dressed. In his tunic
-pocket was a woman’s photograph, but a
-piece of shrapnel had disfigured it beyond
-recognition.</p>
-
-<p>But, as I said, no one believes the story.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_147">[147]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">“OTHER INHABITANTS”</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">There</span> is a little story told of two young
-subalterns, neither of whom could speak the
-lingua Franca, who went one day to the
-Estaminet des Bons Copins, not five thousand
-miles from Ploegstraete woods, to buy some
-of the necessities of life, for the Estaminet
-was a little store as well as a road-house.
-Both of the said subalterns had but recently
-arrived in Flanders, from a very spick and
-span training area, and neither was yet
-accustomed to the ways of war, nor to the
-minor discomforts caused by inhabitants other
-than those of the country, albeit native to
-it from the egg, as it were.</p>
-
-<p>They entered the Bons Copins, and having
-bought cigarettes and a few odds and ends,
-one of them suddenly remembered that he
-wanted a new pair of braces, to guarantee the
-safety of his attire. But the French word for
-braces was a knock-out. Neither himself nor
-his friend could think of it, and an Anglo-French<span class="pagenum" id="Page_148">[148]</span>
-turning of the English version met
-with dismal failure.</p>
-
-<p>At last a bright idea smote him. He smiled
-benignly, and vigorously rubbed the thumbs
-of both hands up and down over his shoulders
-and chest. Madame beamed with the light of
-immediate understanding. “Oui, Monsieur,
-mais oui ... <i>oui</i>!” She disappeared into
-the back of the store, to return a moment
-later, bearing in her hand a large green box,
-labelled distinctly: “Keating’s Powder!”</p>
-
-<p>There are few things that will have the
-least effect on a vigorous young section of
-“other inhabitants.”</p>
-
-<p>Those good, kind people who send out
-little camphor balls, tied up in scarlet flannel
-bags, and tins of Keating’s without number,
-little know what vast formations in mass these
-usually deadly articles must deal with. We
-have suspended camphor balls—little red sacks,
-tapes, and all—in countless numbers about
-our person. We have gone to bed well content,
-convinced of the complete route of our
-Lilliputian enemies. And on the morrow we
-have found them snugly ensconced—grandmamma,
-grandpapa, and their great-great-grandchildren—right<span class="pagenum" id="Page_149">[149]</span>
-plumb in the centre of
-our batteries. Making homes there; waggling
-their little legs, and taking a two-inch sprint
-now and then round the all-red route. What
-is camphor to them? This hardy stock has
-been known to live an hour in a tin of Keating’s
-powder, defiant to the last! What boots
-it that a man waste time and substance on a
-Sabbath morn sprinkling his garments over
-with powders and paraffins. He is sure to
-miss a couple, and one of them is certain to
-be the blushing bride of the other.</p>
-
-<p>From deep below the calf comes the plaintive
-wail, spreading far and wide, to the very
-nape of the neck: “Husband, where are
-you? I am lost and alone, and even off my
-feed!” With no more ado hubby treks madly
-down the right arm and back again, hits a
-straight trail, and finds the lost one.</p>
-
-<p>And the evening and the morning see the
-grandchildren.</p>
-
-<p>Grandpa leads them bravely to the first
-collision mat, an area infected with coal-oil.
-“Charge, my offspring!” he cries, waggling
-his old legs as hard as he can, “prove yourselves
-worthy scions of our race!” And the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_150">[150]</span>
-little blighters rush madly over the line—with
-their smoke-helmets on, metaphorically
-speaking—and at once set about establishing
-a new base.</p>
-
-<p>Henry goes to Mabel, and says: “Mabel,
-darling! I have found a sweet little home for
-two—or (blushing!) perhaps <i>three</i>—in the
-crook of the left knee. Will you be my bride?”
-And Mabel suffers herself to be led away, and
-duly wed, at once. So they dance a Tarantelle
-under the fifth rib, and then proceed to the
-serious business of bringing up little Henrys
-and Mabels in the way they should go!</p>
-
-<p>There is only one way to deal with them,
-cruel and ruthless though it be. Lay on the
-dogs! Remove each garment silently, swiftly,
-relentlessly. Pore over it until you see Henry
-hooking it like Billy-oh down the left leg of
-your—er, pyjamas. Catch him on the wing,
-so to speak, and squash him! Then look for
-Mabel and the children, somewhere down the
-other leg, and do ditto! Set aside two hours
-<i>per diem</i> for this unsportsmanlike hunt, and
-you may be able to bet evens with the next
-chappy inside a couple of months! Even then
-the odds are against you, unless you hedge<span class="pagenum" id="Page_151">[151]</span>
-with the junior subaltern, who gets the worst—and
-therefore most likely to be tenanted—bed!</p>
-
-<p>If you see a man, en déshabille, sitting out
-in the sun, with an earnest, intent look on his
-face, and a garment in his hands, you can
-safely bet one of two things. He is either
-(1) mad, (2) hunting.</p>
-
-<p>It adds variety to life to watch him from
-afar, and then have a sweepstake on the
-total with your friends. You need not fear
-the victim’s honesty. He will count each
-murdered captive as carefully as though he
-were (or she were!) a batch of prisoner Fritzes.
-There is a great element of luck about the
-game, too; you never can tell. Some men
-develop into experts. Lightning destroyers,
-one might say. A brand-new subaltern joined
-the sweepstake one day, and he bet 117.
-The chap had only been at it half an hour
-by the clock, too!</p>
-
-<p>The new sub. won.</p>
-
-<p>You can always tell a new sub. You go up
-to him and you say politely: “Are you—er
-... yet?” If he looks insulted he is new.
-If he says, “Yes, old top, millions of ’em!”
-and wriggles, he is old!</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_152">[152]</span>There was a man once who had a champion.
-He said he got it in a German dug-out; anyhow,
-it was a pure-blooded, number one
-mammoth, and it won every contest on the
-measured yard, against all comers. He kept
-it in a glass jar, and fed it on beef. It died
-at the age of two months and four days,
-probably from senility brought on by over-eating
-and too many Derbies. Thank heaven
-the breed was not perpetuated, albeit the
-Johnny who owned it could have made a lot
-of money if he had not been foolishly careful
-of the thing.</p>
-
-<p>He buried it in a tin of Keating’s—mummified,
-as it were—and enclosed an epitaph:
-“Here lie the last ligaments of the largest
-louse the Lord ever let loose!”</p>
-
-<p>Some people think Fritz started the things,
-as a minor example of frightfulness. One of
-them caused a casualty in the regiment, at
-all events. A new sub., a very squeamish
-chappie, found <i>one</i>—just one!—and nearly
-died of shame. He heard petrol was a good
-thing, so he anointed himself all over with it,
-freely. Then his elbow irritated him, and he
-lighted a match to see if it was another!</p>
-
-<p>He is still in hospital!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_153">[153]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">BOMBS</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">We</span> counted them as they came up the communication
-trench, and the Commander of
-“AK” Company paled; yet he was a brave
-man. He cast a despairing glance around him,
-and then looked at me.</p>
-
-<p>“George,” he said (you may not believe
-it, but there can be a world of pathos put
-into that simple name). “<i>George</i>, we are
-Goners.”</p>
-
-<p>By this time they had reached the front
-line.</p>
-
-<p>My thoughts flew to the Vermoral sprayer,
-last time it had been the Vermoral sprayer.
-Was the V.S. filled, or was it not...?</p>
-
-<p>They came from scent to view, and pulling
-himself together with a click of the heels
-closely imitated by the S.I.C., the O.C.
-“AK” Coy. saluted.</p>
-
-<p>“Good morning, sir!”</p>
-
-<p>The General acknowledged the salute, but
-the ends of his moustache quivered. G.S.O.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_154">[154]</span>
-one, directly in rear, frowned. The Colonel
-looked apprehensive, and glared at both of
-us. The Brigadier was glum, the Brigade
-Major very red in the face. Two of those
-beastly supercilious Aides looked at each
-other, smiled, glanced affectionately at their
-red tabs and smiled again.</p>
-
-<p>It was exactly 2.29 “pip emma” when
-the mine went up.</p>
-
-<p>“Discipline, sir,” said the General, “discipline
-is lacking in your company! You have
-a sentry on duty at the head of Chelwyn Road.
-A sentry! What does he do when he sees
-me? Not a damn thing, sir! Not a damn
-thing!”</p>
-
-<p>Of course the O.C. “AK” made a bad
-break; one always does under such circumstances.</p>
-
-<p>“He may not have seen you, sir.”</p>
-
-<p>G.S.O. one moved forward in support, so
-that if overcome the General could fall back
-on his centre.</p>
-
-<p>A whizz-bang burst in 94—we were in 98—and
-the Staff ducked, taking the time from
-the front. The Aides carried out the movement<span class="pagenum" id="Page_155">[155]</span>
-particularly smartly, resuming the upright
-position in strict rotation.</p>
-
-<p>The General fixed us with a twin Flammenwerfer
-gaze.</p>
-
-<p>“What’s that? Not <i>see</i> me? What the
-devil is he there for, sir? I shall remember
-this, Captain—ah, Roberts—I shall remember
-this!”</p>
-
-<p>Pause.</p>
-
-<p>“Where is your Vermoral sprayer?”</p>
-
-<p>Like lambkins followed by voracious lions,
-we lead them to the Vermoral sprayer.</p>
-
-<p>I was at the retaking of Hill 60, at Ypres
-long months ago, at Festubert and Givenchy,
-but never was I so inspired with dread as
-now.</p>
-
-<p>Praise be to Zeus, the V.S. was full!</p>
-
-<p>We passed on, until we reached a bomber
-cleaning bombs. The General paused. The
-bomber, stood to attention, firmly grasping a
-bomb in the right hand, knuckles down, forearm
-straight.</p>
-
-<p>“Ha!” said the General. “Ha! Bombs,
-what?”</p>
-
-<p>The bomber remained apparently petrified.</p>
-
-<p>“What I always say about these bombs,”<span class="pagenum" id="Page_156">[156]</span>
-the General continued, turning to the
-Brigadier, “is that they’re so damn simple,
-what? A child can use them. You can throw
-them about, and, provided the pin is in, no
-harm will come of it. But”—looking sternly
-at me—“<i>always</i> make sure the pin is safely
-imbedded in the base of the bomb. That is
-the first duty of a man handling bombs.”</p>
-
-<p>We all murmured assent, faintly or otherwise,
-according to rank.</p>
-
-<p>“Give me that bomb,” said the General to
-the bomber, waxing enthusiastic. The man
-hesitated. The General glared, the bomb
-became his.</p>
-
-<p>We stood motionless around him. “You
-see, gentlemen,” the General continued jocularly.
-“I take this bomb, and I throw it on
-the ground—so! It does not explode, it
-cannot explode, the fuse is not lit, for the
-pin——”</p>
-
-<p>Just then the bomber leapt like a fleeting
-deer round the corner, but the General was
-too engrossed to notice him.</p>
-
-<p>“As I say, the pin——”</p>
-
-<p>A frightened face appeared round the bay,
-and a small shaky voice broke in:</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_157">[157]</span>“Please, sir, it’s a five-second fuse—an’ <i>I
-’ad took HOUT the pin</i>!”</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>After all the General reached the traverse
-in time and we were not shot at dawn. But
-G.S.O. one has gone to England “Wounded
-and shell-shock.”</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_158">[158]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">SOFT JOBS</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">This</span> war has produced a new type of military
-man—so-called—to wit: the seeker after soft
-jobs. He flourishes in large numbers in training
-areas; he grows luxuriantly around head-quarters
-staffs, and a certain kind of hybrid—a
-combination of a slacker and a soldier—is
-to be found a few miles to the rear of the
-firing-line in France and Flanders. There are
-some of him in every rank, from the top of
-the tree to the bottom. If he is a natural-born
-soft-jobber he never leaves his training area—not
-even on a Cook’s tour. Should the
-virus be latent, he will develop an attack,
-acute or mild, after one tour in the trenches,
-or when one of our own batteries has fired a
-salvo close by him.</p>
-
-<p>If he is affected by very mild germs he may
-stand a month or two in the firing-line in
-some sector where fighting troops are sent
-for a rest and re-organisation. Broadly speaking,
-therefore, he belongs to one of three<span class="pagenum" id="Page_159">[159]</span>
-classes, of which the second class is perhaps
-the worst.</p>
-
-<p>There are some men who join the army
-without the least intention of ever keeping
-less than the breadth of the English Channel
-between themselves and fighting territory.
-Not for them the “glorious” battle-fields, not
-for them the sweat and toil and purgatory of
-fighting for their country. Nothing at all for
-them in fact, save a ribbon and a barless medal,
-good quarters, perfect safety, staff pay, weekend
-leave, with a few extra days thrown in as
-a reward for their valuable services, and—a
-soft job!</p>
-
-<p>They are the militaresques of our armies.
-The men who try hard to be soldiers, and who
-only succeed in being soldier-like beings erect
-upon two legs, with all the outward semblance
-of a soldier. Yet even <i>their</i> lives are not safe.
-They run grave risks by day and by night in
-the service of their country.</p>
-
-<p>Zeppelins!</p>
-
-<p>There is an air of bustle and excitement
-around the officers’ quarters in the training
-camp to-day. Batmen—hoary-haired veterans
-with six ribbons, whom no M.O. could be<span class="pagenum" id="Page_160">[160]</span>
-induced to pass for active service, even by
-tears—rush madly hither and thither, parleying
-in odd moments of Ladysmith, Kabul to
-Kandahar, and “swoddies.” Head-quarters
-look grave, tense, strained.</p>
-
-<p>In the ante-room to the mess stand soda
-syphons and much “B. &amp; W.” There are
-gathered there most of the officers of two
-regiments—base battalions, with permanent
-training staffs. In the five seats of honour
-recline nonchalantly two majors, one captain,
-and two subalterns. (O.C. Lewis gun school,
-O.C. nothing in particular, Assistant O.C.
-Lewis gun school, Assistant Assistant Lewis
-gun school, Deputy Assistant Adjutant.)
-They are smoking large, fat cigars, and consuming
-many drinks. Are they not the heroes
-of the hour? When the sun rises well into the
-heavens to-morrow they will set forth on a
-desperate journey.</p>
-
-<p>They are going on a Cook’s tour of two
-weeks’ duration to the trenches! (So that they
-can have the medal!) In the morning, with
-bad headaches, they depart. In Boulogne
-they spend twelve hours of riotous life. (“Let
-us eat and drink,” says the O.C. nothing in<span class="pagenum" id="Page_161">[161]</span>
-particular, “for to-morrow, dont-cher-know!”)
-They arrive in due course at Battalion battle
-H.Q. The majors have the best time, as they
-stay with the C.O., drink his Scotch, and do
-the bombing officer and the M.G.O. out of a
-bed.</p>
-
-<p>The rest of them are right up among the
-companies, where they are an infernal
-nuisance. About 11 “pip emma” Fritz
-starts fire-works, and finishes up with a
-bombing attack on the left flank. The O.C.
-nothing in particular stops at B.H.Q. The
-O.C. Lewis gun school mistakes the first
-general head-quarters line (one kilometre in
-rear) for the front line, and goes back with
-shell-shock, having been in the centre of a
-barrage caused by one 5.9 two hundred yards
-north. The Assistant Assistant gets into the
-main bomb store in the front line, and stops
-there, and the Assistant O.C. Lewis gun
-school remains in Coy. H.Q. and looks after
-the batmen. The Deputy Assistant Adjutant
-gets out into the trench, finds some bombers
-doing nothing, gets hold of a couple of bombs,
-makes for the worst noise, and carries on as a
-soldier should.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_162">[162]</span>After the show the O.C. nothing in particular
-tells the Colonel all <i>his</i> theories on counter-attack,
-and goes sick in the morning for the
-remaining period of his tour; the other twain
-stand easy, and the Deputy Assistant Adjutant
-makes an application for transfer to the
-Battalion. Incidentally he is recommended
-for the military cross.</p>
-
-<p>When the four previously mentioned return
-to England they all of them apply for better
-soft jobs, on the strength of recent experiences
-at the front. The one man who threw up his
-soft job to become junior subaltern in a fighting
-regiment is killed in the next “show”
-before his recommendation for a decoration
-has been finally approved.</p>
-
-<p><i>Fiat justitia, ruat cœlum.</i></p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_163">[163]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">“GROUSE”</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">We</span> aren’t happy; our clothes don’t fit, and
-we ain’t got no friends! Rations are not up
-yet—confound the Transport Officer—it’s
-raining like the dickens, as dark as pitch, and
-we’ve only got one bit of candle. Some one
-has pinched a jar of rum, that idiot batman
-of mine can’t find a brazier, and young John
-has lost his raincoat. In fact it’s a rotten war.</p>
-
-<p>We had lobster for lunch; it has never let
-us forget we had it! The Johnny we “took
-over” from <i>said</i> there were 7698 million
-bombs in the Battalion grenade store, and
-there are only 6051. The Adjutant has just
-sent a “please explain,” which shows what
-you get for believing a fellow.</p>
-
-<p>The little round fat chap has left his gumboots
-(thigh) “Somewhere in France,” and
-fell into the trench tramway trying to wear
-an odd six on the right foot, and an odd nine
-on the left. George has busted the D string
-of the mandoline, and A. P. has lost the only
-pack of cards we had to play poker with.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_164">[164]</span>It’s a simply <i>rotten</i> war!</p>
-
-<p>John has a working-party out of sixty
-“other ranks” and says they are spread in
-two’s and three’s over a divisional frontage.
-He has made two trips to locate them, and
-meditates a third. His language is positively
-hair-raising. If he falls into any more shell-holes
-no one will let him in the dug-out.</p>
-
-<p>Those confounded brigade machine gunners
-are firing every other second just in front of
-the dug-out. Heaven knows what they are
-firing at, or where, but how a man could be
-expected to sleep through the noise only a
-siege artillery man could tell you.</p>
-
-<p>George went out on a “reconnaissance”
-recently. George is great on doing reconnaissances
-and drawing maps. This time the
-reconnaissance did <i>him</i>, and the only map
-he’s yet produced is mud tracings on his
-person. Incidentally he says that <i>all</i> the communication
-trenches are impassable, and that
-no one but a cat could go over the top and
-keep on his feet for more than thirty seconds.
-(N.B.—George fell into the main support line
-and had to be pulled out by some of John’s
-working-party.) George says that if the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_165">[165]</span>
-Germans come over it’s all up. Cheerful sort
-of beggar, George.</p>
-
-<p>My new smoke-helmet—the one you wear
-round your neck all the time, even in your
-dreams—is lost again. This is the third time
-in the course of six hours. The gas N.C.O.
-has calculated that with the wind at its
-present velocity we should be gassed in one
-and three-quarter seconds, not counting the
-recurring decimal.</p>
-
-<p>John has just told a story about a bayonet.
-It would be funny at any other time. Now, it
-simply sticks!</p>
-
-<p>The cook has just come in to say our rations
-have been left behind by mistake. Troubles
-never come singly. May heaven protect the
-man who is responsible if we get him! John
-has told another story, about an Engineer.
-It can’t be true, for he says this chap was out
-in No Man’s Land digging a trench. No one
-ever knew a Canadian Engineer do anything
-but tell the infantry how to work. It’s a
-rotten story, anyhow.</p>
-
-<p>Just look at this dug-out; a bottle of rum
-on the table—empty. The odd steel helmet,
-some dirty old newspapers, and a cup or two<span class="pagenum" id="Page_166">[166]</span>
-(empty!), and a pile of strafes from the
-Adjutant six inches thick. My bed has a
-hole in it as big as a “Johnson ’ole,” and
-there are rats. Also the place is inhabited by
-what the men call “crumbs.” Poetic version
-of a painful fact.</p>
-
-<p>John says this is the d—est outfit he has
-ever been in. John is right. My gumboots
-were worn by the Lance-Corporal in No. 2
-platoon, and they are wet, beastly wet. Also
-my batman has forgotten to put any extra
-socks in my kit-bag. Also he’s lost my German
-rifle—the third I’ve bought for twenty
-francs and lost.</p>
-
-<p>This is a <i>deuce</i> of a war!</p>
-
-<p>The mail has just arrived. George got five,
-the little round fat fellow <i>nine</i>, A. P. two, and
-John and me shake hands with a duck’s-egg.
-Still the second mentioned has his troubles.
-One of his many inamoratas has written to
-him in French. He knows French just about
-as well as he knows how to sing! Nuff
-said!</p>
-
-<p>John has “parti’d” to his triple-starred
-working-party. The men have not got any
-letters either. You should hear them! The<span class="pagenum" id="Page_167">[167]</span>
-most expert “curser” of the Billingsgate
-fishmarket would turn heliotrope with envy.
-George is feeling badly too. He lent his
-flash-light to dish out rations with. That is
-to say, to illuminate what the best writers
-of nondescript fiction call the “Cimmerian
-gloom!”</p>
-
-<p>A. P. has had letters from his wife. Lucky
-dog! She takes up four pages telling him how
-she adores him.</p>
-
-<p>This is a <i>beastly</i> rotten war.</p>
-
-<p>Fritz is a rotter too. My dug-out is two
-hundred yards north by nor’-east. Every
-time I have to make the trip he never fails
-to keep the Cimmerian gloom strictly “Cim.”
-And the bath-mats are broken in two places,
-and I’ve found both of them every time.</p>
-
-<p>Another strafe from the Adjutant. May
-jackals defile his grave, but he’ll never have
-one in France, anyhow. “Please render an
-account to Orderly Room of the number of
-men in your unit who are qualified plumbers.”</p>
-
-<p>We haven’t any.</p>
-
-<p>If we had we should have mended the hole
-in the roof, which leaks on John’s bed. It has
-only just begun to leak. It will be fun to hear<span class="pagenum" id="Page_168">[168]</span>
-what John says when he comes back. Only
-he may be speechless.</p>
-
-<p>The little round fat fellow is still reading
-letters, and A. P. is hunting in his nether
-garments. “Kinder scratterin’ aroun’!” So
-far the bag numbers five killed and two badly
-winged, but still on the run.</p>
-
-<p>Somebody has turned out the guard. Yells
-of fire. After due inspection proves to be the
-C.O.’s tunic. It was a new one! May his
-batman preserve himself in one piece.</p>
-
-<p>More yells of “Guard turn out!” Support
-my tottering footsteps! Our—that is to say
-<i>my</i> dug-out is on fire.... Confusion....
-Calm.... I have no dug-out, no anything....
-This is, pardonnez-moi, a Hell of a war!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_169">[169]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">PANSIES</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">There</span> are some pansies on my table, arranged
-in a broken glass one of the men has picked
-up among the rubble and débris of this
-shattered town. Dark mauve and yellow
-pansies, pretty, innocent looking little things.
-“Pansies—that’s for thoughts.”</p>
-
-<p>Transport is rattling up and down the
-street—guns, limbers, G.S. wagons, water-carts,
-God knows what, and there are men
-marching along, mud-caked, weary, straggling,
-clinging fast to some German souvenir as
-they come one way; jaunty, swinging, clean,
-with bands a-blowing as they go the other.
-It is a dull grey day. There is “something
-doing” up the line. I can hear the artillery,
-that ceaseless artillery, pounding and hammering,
-and watch the scout aeroplanes, dim grey
-hawks in the distance, from the windows of
-the room above—the broken-down room with
-the plasterless ceiling, and the clothes scattered
-all over the floor.</p>
-
-<p>“Pansies—that’s for thoughts.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_170">[170]</span>The regiment is up yonder—the finest regiment
-God ever made. They are wallowing
-in the wet, sticky mud of the trenches they
-have dug themselves into, what is left of
-them. They are watching and waiting, always
-watching and waiting for the enemy to attack.</p>
-
-<p>And they are being bombarded steadily,
-pitilessly, without cessation. Some will be
-leaning against the parapet, sleeping the sleep
-of exhaustion, some will be watching, some
-smoking, if they have got any smokes left.
-I know them. Until the spirit leaves their
-bodies they will grin and fight, fight and grin,
-but always “Carry On.”</p>
-
-<p>Last night they went up to relieve the —th,
-after they had just come out of the line, and
-were themselves due to be relieved. Overdue,
-in fact, but the General knew that he could
-rely on them, knew that <span class="allsmcap">THEY</span> would never
-give way, while there was a man left to fire a
-rifle. So he used them—as they have always
-been used, and as they always will be—to
-hold the line in adversity, to take the line
-when no one else could take it.</p>
-
-<p>We have been almost wiped out five times,
-but the old spirit still lives, the Spirit of our<span class="pagenum" id="Page_171">[171]</span>
-mighty dead. There are always enough “old
-men” left, even though they number but a
-score, with whom to leaven the lump of raw,
-green rookies that come to us, and to turn
-them into soldiers worthy of the Regiment.</p>
-
-<p>Dark mauve pansies.</p>
-
-<p>I knew all the old soldiers of the Brigade,
-I have fought with them, shaken hands with
-them afterwards—those who survived—mourned
-with them our pals who were gone—buried
-many a one of them.</p>
-
-<p>This time I am out of it. Alone with the
-pansies ... and my thoughts. Thomson
-was killed last night; Greaves, Nicholson,
-Townley, between then and now. Nearly all
-the rest are wounded. Those who come back
-will talk of this fight, they will speak of hours
-and events of which I shall know nothing.
-For the first time I shall be on the outer
-fringe, mute ... with only ears to hear, and
-no heart to speak.</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps they will come out to-morrow
-night. Or, early, very early the following
-morning. They will be tired—so tired they
-are past feeling it—unshaven, unwashed, and
-covered with mud from their steel helmets<span class="pagenum" id="Page_172">[172]</span>
-down to the soles of their boots. But they
-will be fairly cheerful. They will try to sing
-on the long, long march back here, as I have
-heard them so many times before. When
-they reach the edge of the town they will try
-to square their weary shoulders, and to keep
-step—and they will do it, too, heaven only
-knows <i>how</i>, but they will do it. Their leader
-will feel very proud of them, which is only
-right and proper. He will call them “boys,”
-encourage the weak, inwardly admire and
-bless the strong. And he will be proud of the
-mud and dirt, proud of his six days’ growth
-of beard. Satisfied; because he has just done
-one more little bit, and the Good Lord has
-pulled him through it.</p>
-
-<p>When they get to their billets they will
-cheer; discordantly, but cheer none the less.
-They will crowd into the place, and drop
-their kits and themselves on top of them, to
-sleep the sleep of the just—the well-earned
-sleep of utter fatigue.</p>
-
-<p>In the morning they will feel better, and
-they will glance at you with an almost affectionate
-look in their eyes, for they know—as
-the men always know—whether you have<span class="pagenum" id="Page_173">[173]</span>
-proved yourself, whether you have made
-good—or failed.</p>
-
-<p>“Pansies ... that’s for thoughts....”</p>
-
-<p>And I am out of it—out of it <i>ALL</i> ...
-preparing “To re-organise what is left of the
-regiment.”</p>
-
-<p>For God’s sake, Holman, take away those
-flowers!</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_174">[174]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">GOING BACK</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">A large</span> crowd packed the wide platform,
-hemmed in on one side by a barrier, on the
-other by a line of soldiers two paces apart.
-The boat-train was leaving in five minutes.
-That a feeling of tension permeated the crowd
-was evident, from the forced smiles and
-laughter, and the painful endeavours of the
-departing ones to look preternaturally cheerful.
-In each little group there were sudden
-silences.</p>
-
-<p>Almost at the last moment a tall, lean
-officer pressed through the crowd, made for
-a smoking-carriage, and got in. He surveyed
-the scene with a rather compassionate interest,
-while occasionally a wistful look passed
-over his face as he watched for a moment an
-officer talking with a very pretty girl, almost
-a child, who now and then mopped her eyes
-defiantly with a diminutive handkerchief.</p>
-
-<p>“All aboard.”</p>
-
-<p>The pretty girl lifted up her face, and the
-lonely one averted his eyes, pulled a newspaper<span class="pagenum" id="Page_175">[175]</span>
-hastily from his overcoat pocket, and
-proceeded to read it upside down!</p>
-
-<p>As the train pulled out of the station a
-cheer went up and handkerchiefs fluttered.
-The sole other occupant of the carriage, a
-young—very young—subaltern who had just
-said good-bye to his mother, muttered to
-himself and blinked hard out of the window.
-The Lonely One shrugged himself more deeply
-into his seat, and abstractedly reversed the
-newspaper. A paragraph caught his eye:
-“Artillery activity developed yesterday in
-the sector south of Leuville St. Vaast. An
-enemy attempt to raid our trenches at this
-point was foiled.” He smiled a trifle, and
-putting down the paper fell to thinking. Unable
-to contain himself any longer, the boy
-in the corner spoke.</p>
-
-<p>“Rotten job, this going back show,” he
-said. The other assented gravely, and they
-fell to talking, spasmodically, of the Front.
-Pure, undiluted shop, but very comforting.</p>
-
-<p>Finally the train arrived at the port of
-embarkation. A crowd of officers of all ranks
-surged along the platform, glanced at the
-telegram board, and passed on towards the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_176">[176]</span>
-boat. The Lonely One stopped, however, for
-his name in white chalk stared at him. He
-got the telegram eventually and opened it.
-It contained only two words and no signature:
-“Good luck.” Flushing a trifle he walked
-down to the waiting mail-boat, and getting
-his disembarkation card passed up the gangway.</p>
-
-<p>An air of impenetrable gloom hung over
-the dirty decks. Here and there a few men
-chatted together, but for the most part the
-passengers kept to themselves. The lonely
-man found the young lieutenant waiting for
-him, and together they mounted to the upper
-deck, and secured two chairs aft, hanging
-their life-belts on to them.</p>
-
-<p>A little later the boat cast off, and they
-watched the land fade from sight as many
-others were watching with them. “Ave
-atque Vale.”</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder ...” said the youngster, and
-then bit his lips.</p>
-
-<p>“Come below and have some grub,” the
-other said cheerily. They ate, paid for it
-through the nose, and felt better. Half an
-hour later they were in Boulogne.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_177">[177]</span>As they waited outside the M.L.O.’s office
-for their turn, the younger asked:</p>
-
-<p>“I say, what Army are you?”</p>
-
-<p>“First.”</p>
-
-<p>“So’m I,” joyfully, “p’raps we’ll go up
-together.”</p>
-
-<p>“I hope so, but we shall have to stop here
-the night, I expect.”</p>
-
-<p>Even as he said so a notice was hung outside
-the little wooden office: “Officers of
-the First Army returning from leave will
-report to the R.T.O., Gare Centrale, at
-10.00 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span> to-morrow, Saturday, 17th instant.”</p>
-
-<p>“That settles it,” said the elder man,
-“come along, and we’ll go to the Officers’
-Club and bag a couple of beds.”</p>
-
-<p>“Nineteen hours,” wailed the other, “in
-this beastly place! What on earth shall we
-find to do?”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t worry about that—there is usually
-some one to whom one can write.” It was
-both a hint and a question.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes—ra—<i>ther</i>!”</p>
-
-<p>They had tea, and afterwards the boy
-wrote a long letter, in which he said a great
-deal more to the mother who received it than<span class="pagenum" id="Page_178">[178]</span>
-was actually written on the paper. The
-Lonely One sat for some time in front of the
-fire, and finally scribbled a card. It was
-addressed to some place in the wilds of Scotland,
-and it bore the one word “Thanks.”</p>
-
-<p>After dinner they sat and smoked awhile.
-The Lonely One knew much of the life-history
-of the other by now. It had burst
-from the boy, and the Lonely One had
-listened sympathetically and with little comment,
-and had liked to hear it. It is good to
-hear a boy talk about his mother.</p>
-
-<p>“What shall we do now?”</p>
-
-<p>“We might go to the cinema show; it
-used to be fairly good.”</p>
-
-<p>“Right-oh! I say”—a little diffidently—“last
-time I was on leave, the first time too,
-I came back with some fellows who were
-pretty—well—pretty hot stuff. They wanted
-me to go to a—to a place up in the town, and
-I didn’t go. I think they thought I was an
-awful blighter, don’t-you-know, but——”</p>
-
-<p>“What that kind of chap thinks doesn’t
-matter in the least, old man,” interposed the
-other. “You were at Cambridge, weren’t
-you?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_179">[179]</span>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, you may have heard the old tag?
-Besides, I don’t think—some one—somebody
-...” he hesitated and stopped. The
-youngster flushed.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I know,” he said softly.</p>
-
-<p>They boarded the train together, and
-shared the discomforts of the long tedious
-journey. Every hour, or less, the train
-stopped, for many minutes, and then with a
-creak and a groan wandered on again like an
-ancient snail. Rain beat on the window-panes,
-and the compartment was as drafty
-as a sieve.</p>
-
-<p>It was not until the small hours that they
-reached their destination, a cold, bleak,
-storm-swept platform.</p>
-
-<p>“This is where we say good-bye,” the
-youngster began regretfully, “thanks awf’ly
-for——”</p>
-
-<p>“Rot,” broke in the other brusquely, taking
-the proffered hand in his big brown one.
-“Best of luck, old man, and don’t forget to
-drop me a card.”</p>
-
-<p>“A nice boy, a <i>very</i> nice boy,” he mused,
-as he climbed into the military bus, and was<span class="pagenum" id="Page_180">[180]</span>
-rattled off, back to the mud and slush and
-dreariness of it all.</p>
-
-<p>“Have a good time?” asked the Transport
-Officer the next morning, as the Lonely
-One struggled into his fighting kit, preparatory
-to rejoining the battalion in the trenches.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, thanks. By the way, any mail for
-me?”</p>
-
-<p>“One letter. Here you are.”</p>
-
-<p>He took it, looked an instant at the handwriting,
-and thrust it inside his tunic. The
-postmark was the same as that of the wire
-he had received at the port of embarkation.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_181">[181]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">THREE RED ROSES</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">In</span> the distance rose the spires of Ypres, and
-the water-tower, useless now for the purpose
-for which it was built, but still erect on its
-foundations. The silvery mist of early April
-hung very lightly over the flat surrounding
-land, hiding one corner of Vlamertinghe from
-sight, where the spire of the church still
-raised its head, as yet unvanquished. A red
-sun was rising in the East, and beyond Ypres
-a battle still raged, though nothing to the
-battle of a few short days before. Hidden
-batteries spoke now and then, and the roads
-were a cloud of dust, as men, transport, guns,
-and many ambulances passed along them.
-Overhead aeroplanes droned, and now and
-again shells whistled almost lazily overhead,
-to fall with a thunderous “crrumph” in
-Brielen and Vlamertinghe.</p>
-
-<p>By the canal there was a dressing-station.
-The little white flag with its red cross hung
-listless in the still air. Motor ambulances
-drove up at speed and departed with their<span class="pagenum" id="Page_182">[182]</span>
-burdens. Inside the dressing-station men
-worked ceaselessly, as they had been working
-for days. Sometimes shells fell near by.
-No one heeded them.</p>
-
-<p>Beyond the dressing-station, down the road,
-the banks of which were filled with little
-niches hollowed out with entrenching tools,
-hurried a figure. He was but one of many,
-but there was that about him which commanded
-the attention of all who saw him.
-His spurs and boots were dirty, his uniform
-covered with stains and dust, his face unshaven.
-He walked like a man in a dream,
-yet as of set purpose. Pale and haggard, he
-strode along, mechanically acknowledging
-salutes.</p>
-
-<p>Arrived at the dressing-station, without
-pausing he entered, and went up to one of
-the doctors who was bandaging the remnants
-of an arm.</p>
-
-<p>“Have they come yet?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>The other looked at him gravely with a
-certain respect and pity, and with the eye
-also of a medical man.</p>
-
-<p>“Not yet, Colonel,” he answered. “You
-had better sit down and rest, you are all in.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_183">[183]</span>The Colonel passed a weary hand over his
-forehead.</p>
-
-<p>“No,” he said. “No, Campbell; I shall
-go back and look for the party. They may
-have lost their way, and—they were three
-of my best officers, three of my boys....
-I—I——”</p>
-
-<p>“Here, sir! Take this.”</p>
-
-<p>It was more of a command than a request.
-The Colonel drained what was given him, and
-went out without a word.</p>
-
-<p>Back he trudged, along the shell-pitted
-road, even now swept by occasional salvos
-of shrapnel. He took no notice of anything,
-but continued feverishly on his way, his eyes
-ever searching the distance. At last he gave
-vent to an exclamation. Down the road was
-coming a stretcher party. They had but one
-stretcher, and on it lay three blanketed
-bundles.</p>
-
-<p>The Colonel met them, and with bowed
-head accompanied them back to the dressing-station.</p>
-
-<p>“You found them—all?” It was his only
-question.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, sir, all that was left.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_184">[184]</span>The stretcher was taken to a little empty
-dug-out, and with his own hands the C.O.
-laid the Union Jack over it.</p>
-
-<p>“When will the—the graves be ready?”
-he asked the doctor.</p>
-
-<p>“By five o’clock, sir.”</p>
-
-<p>“I will be back at 4.30.”</p>
-
-<p>“You must take some rest, Colonel, or
-you’ll break down.”</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you, Campbell, I can look after
-myself!”</p>
-
-<p>“Very good, sir.”</p>
-
-<p>As he went away Captain Campbell looked
-after him rather anxiously.</p>
-
-<p>“Never would have thought <i>he could</i> be
-so upset,” he mused. “He’ll be in hospital,
-if——”</p>
-
-<p>Straight back to Brielen the Colonel walked,
-and there he met his orderly with the horses.
-He mounted without a word, and rode on,
-through Vlamertinghe, until he reached Popheringe.
-There he dismounted.</p>
-
-<p>“I shall be some time,” he said to the
-orderly.</p>
-
-<p>He went through the square, up the noisy
-street leading to the Vehrenstraat, and along<span class="pagenum" id="Page_185">[185]</span>
-it, until he reached a little shop, in which
-were still a few flowers. He entered, and a
-frightened-looking woman came to serve him.</p>
-
-<p>“I want three red roses,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>It took the saleswoman several minutes to
-understand, but finally she showed him what
-she had. The roses were not in their first
-bloom, but they were large and red. The
-Colonel had them done up, and left carrying
-them carefully. The rest of his time he spent
-in repairing as well as might be the ravages
-of battle on his clothes and person. At 4.20
-he was again at the dressing-station.</p>
-
-<p>A quiet-voiced padre awaited him there, a
-tall, ascetic-looking man, with the eyes of a
-seer.</p>
-
-<p>They carried the bundles on the stretcher
-to the graves, three among many, just behind
-the dressing-station.</p>
-
-<p>“Almighty God, as it has pleased Thee to
-take the souls of these, our dear brothers ...”
-the sonorous voice read on, while the C.O.
-stood, bare-headed, at the head of the graves,
-holding in his hand the three red roses. The
-short burial service came to an end.</p>
-
-<p>The Colonel walked to the foot of each<span class="pagenum" id="Page_186">[186]</span>
-grave in turn, and gently threw on each poor
-shattered remnant a red rose. Straightening
-himself, he stood long at the salute, and then,
-with a stern, set face, he strode away, to where
-the Padre awaited him, not caring that his
-eyes were wet. The Padre said nothing, but
-took his hand and gripped it.</p>
-
-<p>“Padre,” said the Colonel, “those three
-were more to me than any other of my officers;
-I thought of them as my children.”</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_187">[187]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">ADJUTANTS</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">If</span> Fate cherishes an especial grievance against
-you, you will be made an Adjutant.</p>
-
-<p>One of those bright beautiful mornings,
-when all the world is young and, generally
-speaking, festive, the sword of Damocles will
-descend upon you, and you will be called to
-the Presence, and told you are to be Adjutant.
-You will, perhaps, be rather inclined
-to think yourself a deuce of a fellow on that
-account. You will acquire a pair of spurs,
-and expect to be treated with respect. You
-will, in fact, feel that you are a person of some
-importance, quite the latest model in good
-little soldiers. You may—and this is the
-most cruel irony of all—be complimented on
-your appointment by your brother officers.</p>
-
-<p>Vanity of vanities, all is vanity, saith the
-preacher!</p>
-
-<p>As soon as you become the “voice of the
-C.O.,” you lose every friend you ever possessed.
-You are just about as popular as the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_188">[188]</span>
-proverbial skunk at a garden-party. It takes
-only two days to find this out.</p>
-
-<p>The evening of the second day you decide
-to have a drink, Orderly Room or no Orderly
-Room. You make this rash decision, and you
-tell the Orderly-Room Sergeant—only heaven
-knows when <i>he</i> sleeps—that you are going out.</p>
-
-<p>“I will be back in half an hour,” you say.</p>
-
-<p>Then you go forth to seek for George—George,
-your pal, your intimate, your bosom
-friend. You find George in your old Coy.
-head-quarters, and a pang of self-pity sweeps
-over you as you cross the threshold and see
-the other fellows there: George, Henry, John,
-and the rest.</p>
-
-<p>“Come and have a——” you begin cheerily.
-Suddenly, in the frosty silence you hear a
-cool, passionless voice remark,</p>
-
-<p>“Good evening, <span class="allsmcap">SIR</span>!”</p>
-
-<p>It is George, the man you loved and trusted,
-whom you looked on as a friend and brother.</p>
-
-<p>“George, come and have a——” again the
-words stick in your throat.</p>
-
-<p>George answers, in tones from which all
-amity, peace, and goodwill towards men have
-vanished:</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_189">[189]</span>“Thanks very much, sir”—oh baleful little
-word—“but I’ve just started a game of
-poker.”</p>
-
-<p>Dimly light dawns in your reeling brain;
-you realise the full extent of your disabilities,
-and you know that all is over. You are the
-Adjutant—the voice of the C.O.!</p>
-
-<p>Sadly, with the last glimmer of Adjutant
-pride and pomp cast from out your soul, you
-return to Orderly Room, drinkless, friendless,
-and alone.</p>
-
-<p>“The Staff Captain has been ringing you
-up, sir. He wants to know if the summary of
-evidence ...” and so on. In frenzied desperation
-you seize the telephone. Incidentally you
-call the Staff Captain away from his dinner.
-What he says, no self-respecting man—not
-even an Adjutant—could reveal without laying
-bare the most lacerated portions of his
-innermost feelings.</p>
-
-<p>You go to bed, a sadder and a wiser man,
-wondering if you could go back to the Company,
-even as the most junior sub., were you
-to make an impassioned appeal to the C.O.</p>
-
-<p>About 1 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span> some one comes in and
-awakens you.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_190">[190]</span>“Message from Brigade, sir.”</p>
-
-<p>With an uncontrite heart you read it:
-“Forward to this office immediately a complete
-nominal roll of all men of your unit who
-have served continuously for nine months
-without leave.” That takes two hours, and
-necessitates the awakening of all unit commanders,
-as the last Adjutant kept no record.
-In psychic waves you feel curses raining on
-you through the stilly night. Having made
-an application—in writing—to the C.O., to
-be returned to duty, you go to bed.</p>
-
-<p>At 3.30 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span> you are awakened again.
-“Movement order from Brigade, sir!”</p>
-
-<p>This time you say nothing. All power of
-speech is lost. The entire regiment curses
-you, while by the light of a guttering candle
-you write a movement order, “operation
-order number”—what the deuce <i>is</i> the number
-anyhow. The Colonel is—shall we say—indisposed
-as to temper, and the companies
-get half an hour to fall in, ready to march off.
-One Company loses the way, and does not
-arrive at the starting-point.</p>
-
-<p>“Did you specify the starting-point quite
-clearly, Mr. Jones?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_191">[191]</span>“Yes, sir.”</p>
-
-<p>“Where did you say it was?”</p>
-
-<p>“One hundred yards south of the ‘<span class="allsmcap">N</span>’ in
-<span class="allsmcap">CANDIN</span>, sir.”</p>
-
-<p>“There are <i>two</i> ‘<span class="allsmcap">N</span>’s’ in <span class="allsmcap">CANDIN</span>, Mr.
-Jones; <i>two</i> ‘<span class="allsmcap">N</span>’s’! How can you expect a
-company commander to know <i>which</i> ‘<span class="allsmcap">N</span>’?
-Gross carelessness. Gross carelessness. Go
-and find the Company, please.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yessir.”</p>
-
-<p>You find the Company only just out of
-billets, after scouring the miserable country
-around the wrong ‘<span class="allsmcap">N</span>’ for fifteen minutes,
-and falling off your horse into one of those
-infernal ditches.</p>
-
-<p>The battalion moves off half an hour later,
-and the C.O. has lots to say about it. He also
-remarks that his late Adjutant was “a good
-horseman”—a bitter reflection!</p>
-
-<p>There is absolutely no hope for an Adjutant.
-If he is a good man at the “job” everybody
-hates him. If he is feeble the C.O. hates him.
-The Brigade staff hate him on principle. If
-he kow-tows to them they trample on him
-with both feet, if he does <i>not</i> they set snares
-for him, and keep him up all night. He is<span class="pagenum" id="Page_192">[192]</span>
-expected to know everything: K. R. and O.
-backwards and forwards, divisional drill, and
-the training of a section. Routine for the cure
-of housemaid’s knee in mules, and the whole
-compendium of Military Law. He is never off
-duty, and even his soul is not his own. He is,
-in fact, The Adjutant.</p>
-
-<p>Sometimes people try to be nice to him.
-They mean well. They will come into the
-Orderly Room and say: “Oh, Mr. Jones, can
-you tell me where the 119th Reserve Battery
-of the 83rd Reserve Stokes Gun Coy. is
-situated?” Of course, Adjutants know <i>everything</i>.</p>
-
-<p>And when you admit ignorance they look
-at you with pained surprise, and go to Brigade.</p>
-
-<p>“I asked the Adjutant of the —th Battalion,
-but he did not seem to know.”</p>
-
-<p>Adjutants die young.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_193">[193]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">HOME</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">There</span> is one subject no man mentions at the
-Front unless it be very casually, <i>en passant</i>.
-Even then it brings with it a sudden silence.
-There is so much, so very much in that little
-word “Home.”</p>
-
-<p>If a man were to get up at a sing-song and
-sing “Home, Sweet Home,” his life would
-be imperilled. His audience would rise and
-annihilate him, because they could not give
-vent to their feelings in any other way. There
-are some things that strike directly at the
-heart, and this is one of them.</p>
-
-<p>You see the new officer, the men of the new
-draft, abstracted, with a rather wistful look
-on their faces, as they gaze into the brazier,
-or sit silently in billets when their work is
-done. You have felt like that, and you know
-what is the matter. The symptoms are not
-to be encouraged in the individual nor the
-mass. They lead to strong drink and dissipation,
-for no man can preserve his inward
-calm for long, if he dwells much on his dearest
-recollections of Home. There is but one<span class="pagenum" id="Page_194">[194]</span>
-remedy: work, and lots of it, action, movement,
-anything to distract.</p>
-
-<p>Many a man has committed some small
-“crime” that brought him to Orderly Room
-because he allowed his mind to wander ...
-Home—and realised too fully the percentage
-of his chances of ever seeing that home again.
-The Front is not a garden of Allah, or a bed of
-roses, or even a tenth-rate music-hall as some
-people would have us believe. It has to be made
-bearable by the spirit of those who endure it.</p>
-
-<p>There is enough that is grim and awe-inspiring—aye!
-and heart-rending, without
-seeking it. That is why we do not like certain
-kinds of music at the Front, why the one-time
-student of “intense” music develops
-an uncontrollable predilection for wild and
-woolly rag-time strains, and never winces at
-their execution however faulty. That is why
-the Estaminets sell so much bad beer, and so
-much <i>vin mousseux</i> under the generic title of
-Champagne.</p>
-
-<p>Men want to forget about Home, for they
-dare not think of it too much. I have never
-heard a man speak of Home without a little
-hush in his voice, as though he spoke of something
-sacred that was, and might not be again.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_195">[195]</span>How often one heard the remark, a kind of
-apologia: “One must do something.” Yet,
-in spite of all they do to forget Home, they
-are least happy who have none to forget.
-Fortunately they are few. It is a strange
-provision of Providence that lends zest to the
-attempt at oblivion, and induces a frame of
-mind that yearns through that attempt for
-the very things it would fain forget!</p>
-
-<p>After all, it is very much like the school-boy
-who longs for privacy where he can
-blubber unseen, and is at the same time very
-glad that he has not got it, and <i>can’t</i> blubber,
-because his school-fellows would see him!</p>
-
-<p>A superficial observer might think that the
-men at the Front are purely callous, intent
-on seizing lustily on every possible chance of
-doubtful and other pleasures that they can
-obtain. He may think that war has brutalised
-them, numbed their consciences, steeled their
-hearts. Or he may class them as of low intellect.
-In all of which he is wrong, and has
-utterly failed to grasp the morale of the man
-who lives to fight to-day, never knowing of a
-certainty if he will see another dawn.</p>
-
-<p>The soldier knows that he may not dwell
-in his heart on all he holds most dear. It<span class="pagenum" id="Page_196">[196]</span>
-“takes the stuffing out of him.” So, according
-to his lights, he works very hard indeed to keep
-up his spirits; to forget. Not <i>really</i> to forget,
-only to pretend to himself that he is forgetting.</p>
-
-<p>What good is it for the man whose sweetheart
-ran away with the other fellow to think
-about it? Therefore, Tommy rises above his
-thoughts, he puts them away from him—as
-best he can. And if that best is not all that
-people at home might wish it to be, surely
-some allowance may be made for what may be
-called the exigencies of the military situation!</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps it is the last thing some people
-would imagine, but homesickness is a very
-real disease at the Front, and he may count
-himself lucky who escapes it.</p>
-
-<p>“Wot price the Hedgeware Road?” says
-Bill, ruminatively, as he drinks his glass of
-mild—very mild—beer.</p>
-
-<p>And his pal sums up <i>his</i> feelings in the one
-word “Blimey!”</p>
-
-<p>If you have seen men go into action, not
-once, but many times; if you have heard
-them sing, “Oh <i>my</i>, I <i>don’t</i> want to die; <i>I</i>
-want to go Home,” “My Little Grey Home
-in the West,” and many other similar ditties,
-then you will understand.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_197">[197]</span>The very trenches shout it at you, these
-universal thoughts of Home. Look at some
-of the names: Oxford Street, Petticoat Lane,
-The Empire, Toronto Avenue, Bayou Italien—even
-the German trenches have their Wilhelmstrasse!
-Each nation in arms is alike in
-this respect. Every front-line soldier longs
-for Home.</p>
-
-<p>A singer whose voice was chiefly remarkable
-for its sympathetic quality, gave a concert
-within sound of the guns. A battalion,
-just out of the trenches, went to hear her.
-She sang several bright little songs, every one
-encored uproariously, and finally she sang one
-of those beautiful Kashmir love songs which
-go straight to the depths. There was a
-moment’s tense silence when she had finished,
-and then the “house” rocked with applause,
-followed by a greater trumpeting of handkerchiefed
-noses than was ever before indulged in
-by any regiment <i>en masse</i>. She had awakened
-memories of Home.</p>
-
-<p>There are many who rest beneath foreign
-skies for whom all earthly homes are done
-with. <i>They</i> have been gathered to the greatest
-Home of all.</p>
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_198">[198]</span>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">ACTION</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p>“<span class="smcap">Message</span> from Head-quarters, sir.” The
-runner was breathing hard, and his eyes were
-strained and tense-looking. He had not
-shaved for days. Fritz’s “thousand guns on
-the Somme,” that the papers talk of so glibly,
-were tuning up for business.</p>
-
-<p>Major Ogilvie took the message, read it,
-and handed it on to me. “Zero hour will be
-at 6.30 <span class="allsmcap">P.M. AAA</span>. Our artillery will bombard
-from 5.30 to 6.20 <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span>, slow continuous, and
-from 6.20 to 6.29 <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span> hurricane fire <span class="allsmcap">AAA</span>.
-You will give all possible assistance, by means
-of rifle and machine-gun fire to <span class="allsmcap">ULTRAMARINE</span>,
-and arrange to reinforce, if necessary, in
-case of heavy counter-attack <span class="allsmcap">AAA</span>. <span class="allsmcap">ULTRAMARINE</span>
-will indicate that objective has been
-gained by firing two red rockets simultaneously
-<span class="allsmcap">AAA</span>. Please render situation reports
-every half-hour to B.H.Q., <span class="allsmcap">A</span>.21.d.1.4½.<span class="allsmcap">AAA</span>.”</p>
-
-<p>We looked at each other and smiled a little
-grimly. To be on the flank of an attack is<span class="pagenum" id="Page_199">[199]</span>
-rather worse than to attack, for it means
-sitting tight while Fritz pounds the life out
-of you.</p>
-
-<p>“You stop here,” said Ogilvie, “in this
-glory-hole of ours, while I go up and see
-Niven. He will have to put his men in those
-forward saps. If you get any messages, deal
-with them, and make sure that Townley keeps
-those bombers of his on both sides of the
-road. They <i>must</i> stop there, as long as there
-are any of them left, or the Hun might try
-to turn our flank. So long.”</p>
-
-<p>He set out towards the north, leaving me
-in “AK” Coy.’s “head-quarters.” The
-latter consisted of a little niche, three feet
-wide, ran back a foot, and was four feet high,
-cut in the parapet of the front line. The
-runner, Thomson, one of our own company,
-was curled up in a little cubby-hole at my
-feet, and had fallen asleep.</p>
-
-<p>It was lonely in that trench, although there
-were invisible men, not thirty feet away, on
-both sides of me.</p>
-
-<p>The time was 5.25 <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span></p>
-
-<p>Our guns were still silent. Fritz was warming
-up more and more. He was shelling our<span class="pagenum" id="Page_200">[200]</span>
-right most persistently, putting “the odd
-shell” around head-quarters.</p>
-
-<p>Punctually to the minute our artillery
-started in. Salvos of heavies, way back,
-shrapnel all along the front line and supports.</p>
-
-<p>A wickedly pretty sight along a thousands
-yard front: Fritz began to get irritated,
-finally to be alarmed. Up went his red lights,
-one after the other, as he called on his guns,
-called, and kept on calling. They answered
-the call. Above us the air hissed unceasingly
-as shells passed and exploded in rear. He was
-putting a barrage on our supports and communication
-trenches. Then he opened up all
-along our trench. High explosive shrapnel,
-and those thunder-crackling “woolly bears.”
-I wondered where Ogilvie was, if he was all
-right, and I huddled in close to the damp
-crumbling earth.</p>
-
-<p>It was 5.50 <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span></p>
-
-<p>“Per-loph-<span class="allsmcap">UFF</span>.” An acrid smell of burnt
-powder, a peculiar, weird feeling that my head
-was bursting, and a dreadful realisation that
-I was pinned in up to my neck, and could
-not stir. A small shell, bursting on graze, had
-lit in the parapet, just above my head, exploded,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_201">[201]</span>
-and buried me up to the neck, and
-the runner also. He called out, but the din
-was too great for me to hear what he said. I
-struggled until my hands were free, and then
-with the energy of pure fear tore at the
-shattered sand-bags that weighed me down.
-Finally I was free to bend over to Thomson.</p>
-
-<p>“Are you hurt?”</p>
-
-<p>“No, sir, but I can’t move. I thought you
-was dead.”</p>
-
-<p>I clawed him out with feverish haste. The
-air reeked with smoke, and the shelling was
-hellish. Without any cessation shells burst
-in front of, above, and behind the trench;
-one could feel their hot breath on one’s cheek,
-and once I heard above the din a cry of agony
-that wrung my torn and tattered nerves to a
-state of anguish.</p>
-
-<p>“Get out of here,” I yelled, and we crawled
-along the crumbling trench to the right.</p>
-
-<p>“Hrrumph!” A five-nine landed just
-beyond us. I stopped a second. “Stretcher-bearer!”
-came weakly from a dim niche at
-my side. Huddled there was one of my boys.
-He was wounded in the foot, the leg, the
-chest, and very badly in the arm. It took<span class="pagenum" id="Page_202">[202]</span>
-five minutes to put on a tourniquet, and
-while it was being done a scout lying by my
-side was killed. He cried out once, turned,
-shivered, and died. I remember wondering
-how his soul could go up to Heaven through
-that awful concentration of fire and stinging
-smoke.</p>
-
-<p>It was 6.15 <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span></p>
-
-<p>There were many wounded, many dead,
-one of those wonderfully brave men, a
-stretcher-bearer, told me, when he came
-crawling along, with blood-stained hands,
-and his little red-cross case. None of the
-wounded could be moved then, it was impossible.
-I got a message, and read it by the
-light of the star shells: “Please report at
-once if enemy are shelling your area heavily
-<span class="allsmcap">AAA</span>.” The answer was terse: “Yes <span class="allsmcap">AAA</span>.”</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly there was a lull. One of those
-inexplicable, almost terrifying lulls that are
-almost more awesome than the noise preceding
-them. I heard a voice ten yards
-away, coming from a vague, shadowy figure
-lying on the ground:</p>
-
-<p>“Are you all right, ‘P.’?” It was Ogilvie.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes. Are you?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_203">[203]</span>We crawled together, and held a hurried
-conversation at the top of our voices, for the
-bombardment had now started in with violent
-intensity from our side, as well as from
-Fritz’s.</p>
-
-<p>“We’ll have to move to the sap, with
-Niven ... bring ... runners ... you ...
-make ... dash for it.”</p>
-
-<p>“How ... ’bout Townley?”</p>
-
-<p>“’S’all right.”</p>
-
-<p>Then we pulled ourselves together and
-went for it, stumbling along the trench, over
-heaped-up mounds of earth, past still forms
-that would never move again. On, on, running
-literally for our lives. At last we reached the
-saps. Two platoons were out there, crowded
-in a little trench a foot and a half wide, nowhere
-more than four feet deep. Some shrapnel
-burst above it, but it was the old front line,
-thirty yards in rear, on which the Germans
-were concentrating a fire in which no man
-could live long.</p>
-
-<p>The runners, Major Ogilvie, Niven, and myself,
-and that amazing Sergeant-Major of ours,
-who would crack a joke with Charon, were all
-together in a few yards of trench.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_204">[204]</span>Our fire ceased suddenly. It was zero
-hour. In defiance of danger Ogilvie stood up,
-perfectly erect, and watched what was going
-on. Our guns opened again, they had lifted
-to the enemy supports and lines of communication.</p>
-
-<p>“They’re over!” we cried all together.</p>
-
-<p>Machine-guns were rattling in a crescendo
-of sound that was like the noise of a rapid
-stream above the roar of a water-wheel. The
-enemy sent up rocket upon rocket—three’s,
-four’s, green and red. Niven, as plucky a
-boy as ever lived, watched eagerly. Then a
-perfect hail of shells began to fall. One could
-almost see our old trench change its form as
-one glanced at it. It was almost as light as
-day. Major Ogilvie was writing reports. One
-after another he sent out the runners to head-quarters,
-those runners every one of whom
-deserves the Victoria Cross. Some went never
-to return.</p>
-
-<p>All at once two red rockets burst away
-forward, on the right, falling slowly, slowly to
-earth.</p>
-
-<p><span class="allsmcap">ULTRAMARINE</span> had attained the objective.</p>
-
-<p>It was then 6.42 <span class="allsmcap">P.M.</span></p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_205">[205]</span>Curious, most curious, to see the strain
-pass momentarily from men’s faces. Two
-runners took the message down. It proved
-to be the earliest news received at H.Q. that
-the objective was reached.</p>
-
-<p>But the bombardment did not cease, did
-not slacken. It developed more and more
-furiously. Niven, one of the very best—the
-boy was killed a few weeks after—lay with
-his body tucked close to the side of the trench.
-I lay with my head very close to his, so that
-we could talk. Major Ogilvie’s legs were
-curled up with mine. Every now and then he
-sent in a report.</p>
-
-<p>My conversation with Niven was curious.
-“Have another cigarette?” “Thanks, Bertie.”
-“Fritz is real mad to-night.” “He’s got a
-reason!” “Thank the Lord it isn’t raining.”
-“Yes.” Pause. “Did you get any letters
-from home?” “Two.... Good thing they
-can’t see us now!” “<i>Jolly</i> good thing!”
-“Whee-ou, that was close!” “So’s that,”
-as a large lump of earth fell on his steel hat.
-Pause. “I must get a new pair of breeches.”
-“When?” “Oh, to go on leave with.” “So
-must I.” We relapsed into silence, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_206">[206]</span>
-from sheer fatigue both of us fell asleep for
-twenty minutes.</p>
-
-<p>I was awakened by Ogilvie, who kicked me
-gently. “I have had no report from Townley
-or Johnson for nearly two hours”—it was
-past eleven. “I want you to go up to the
-right and see if you can establish communication
-with them. Can you make it?” “I’ll
-try, sir.” Our guns had quieted down, but
-Fritz was still pounding as viciously as ever,
-and with more heavy stuff than hitherto. My
-experience in travelling perhaps a quarter of
-a mile of trench that night was the most
-awful that has befallen me in nearly two
-years of war at the Front.</p>
-
-<p>The trench was almost empty, for the men
-had been put in advance of it, for the most
-part. In places it was higher than the level
-of the ground, where great shells had hurled
-parapet on parados, leaving a gaping crater
-on one side or the other. Fear, a real personal,
-loathly fear, ran at my side. Just as I reached
-the trench an eight-five exploded on the spot
-I had crossed a second before. The force of
-the explosion threw me on my face, and
-earth rained down on me. I knelt, crouching,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_207">[207]</span>
-by the parapet, my breath coming in long
-gasps. “Lord, have mercy on my soul.” I
-rushed a few yards madly, up, down, over;
-another pause, while the shells pounded the
-earth, and great splinters droned. I dared
-not move, and I dared not stay. Every shadow
-of the trenches loomed over me like the
-menacing memory of some past unforgettable
-misdeed. Looking down I saw a blood-stained
-bandage in a pool of blood at my
-side, and I could smell that indescribable,
-fœtid smell of blood, bandages, and death. As
-I went round a traverse, speeding like a hunted
-hare, I stumbled over a man. He groaned
-deeply as I fell on him. It was one of my
-best N.C.O.’s, mortally wounded. An eternity
-passed before I could find his water-bottle.
-His face was a yellow mask, his teeth chattered
-against the lip of the water-bottle, his lips
-were swollen and dreadful. He lay gasping.
-“Can I do anything for you, old man?”
-With a tremendous effort he raised his head
-a little, and opened wide his glazing eyes.
-“Write ... sir ... to my ... mother.”
-Then, his head on my arm, he died.</p>
-
-<p>On, on, on, the sweat streaming from me,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_208">[208]</span>
-the fear of death at my heart. I prayed as I
-had never prayed before.</p>
-
-<p>At last I found Johnson. He gave me his
-report, and that of Townley, whom he had
-seen a few moments before. I went back,
-another awful trip, but met Major Ogilvie
-half-way.</p>
-
-<p>After nine and three-quarter hours, during
-which they threw all the ammunition they
-possessed at us, the German gunners “let
-up.” And Ogilvie and I went to sleep, along
-the trench, too weary to care what might
-happen next, to wake at dawn, stiff with
-cold, chilled to the bone, to face another day
-of “glorious war!”</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/i_208.jpg" alt="The Temple Press Letchworth England" /></div>
-
-<p class="caption"><span class="smcap">The Temple Press<br /> Letchworth England</span></p>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<div class="transnote">
-<p class="ph1">TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:</p>
-
-<p>Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.</p>
-
-<p>Inconsistencies in hyphenation have been standardized.</p>
-
-<p>Archaic or variant spelling has been retained.</p>
-
-<p>The cover image for this eBook was created by the transcriber using the original cover as the background and is entered into the public domain.</p>
-</div></div>
-
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