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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Song of Tiadatha, by Owen Rutter
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The Song of Tiadatha
-
-Author: Owen Rutter
-
-Contributor: H. C. Owen
-
-Release Date: April 26, 2022 [eBook #67937]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: Tim Lindell and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
- https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
- generously made available by The Internet Archive/American
- Libraries.)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SONG OF TIADATHA ***
-
-
-
-
-
-
-THE SONG OF TIADATHA
-
-
-
-
- RHYMES OF A RED-CROSS MAN
-
- BY ROBERT W. SERVICE
-
- _Cloth._ =4/6= _net_.
-
- “It is the great merit of Mr. Service’s verses that they
- are literally alive with the stress and joy and agony and
- hardship that make up life out in the battle zone. He has
- never written better than in this book, and that is saying
- a great deal.”—BOOKMAN.
-
- T. FISHER UNWIN LD. LONDON
-
-
-
-
- THE SONG OF
- TIADATHA
-
- By CAPTAIN
- OWEN RUTTER (‘KLIP-KLIP’)
-
- T. FISHER UNWIN LTD.
- LONDON: ADELPHI TERRACE
-
- _First impression published in Salonica,_ _January 20, 1919_
- _Second impression published in Salonica,_ _February 4, 1919_
- _First issue in Great Britain_ _1920_
- _Second Impression_ _1920_
- _Third Impression_ _1920_
-
- (_All rights reserved_)
-
-
-
-
- TO
-
- COLONEL “BONNY” ROCKE, C.M.G.
- WHO HAS TURNED MORE THAN ONE
- TIRED ARTHUR INTO A SOLDIER
- THIS SLIGHT RECORD OF ADVENTURE IS DEDICATED
- IN MEMORY OF MANY DAYS (PLEASANT AND UNPLEASANT)
- SPENT UNDER HIS COMMAND IN WILTSHIRE AND
- IN FRANCE, AND UPON THE BARREN
- HILLS OF MACEDONIA
-
-
-
-
-INTRODUCTION
-
-
-THE SONG OF TIADATHA first made its appearance in the columns of _The
-Orient Weekly_, and by the time two or three instalments had appeared
-requests came from every quarter asking that the fascinating story of
-“Tired Arthur” should be completed as soon as possible, and issued in
-book form for the further delight of its many admirers. This was easier
-asked for than complied with. All sorts of urgent messages were sent
-to the Author, insisting on the fame that was awaiting him, but he was
-extremely busy with his military duties up on the Doiran Front, and
-in the intervals of raiding the Bulgars his serio-comic muse did not
-flourish too easily.
-
-But bit by bit the pleasing fabric of THE SONG OF TIADATHA was built up,
-and we are happy to be able to present it at last in complete form. THE
-SONG OF TIADATHA is unique in war literature. It tells a story which
-is common to very many members of the Salonica Army, and tells it in
-a fashion which is a most happy blend of descriptive realism, humour
-and sentiment. Longfellow’s metre has often been copied before, but I
-think never so well as this and certainly never with such happy results.
-Floating as gently along as Hiawatha in his canoe, we follow Tiadatha’s
-adventures from the day when he ceases to be a “nut” in St. James’s
-Street, joins up, and goes to France; we come with him to Macedonia,
-and accompany him as he does the hectic round of Salonica’s dubious
-amusements; watch him building his dug-out up on the Doiran Front; share
-his feverish activities during the nightmare experience of the Great
-Fire; attack the frowning Bulgar mountains in his company; and finally,
-with much good work well done, go back to England with him on leave—and
-look enviously on as he takes to his arms again his green-eyed Phyllis.
-
-There is something in THE SONG OF TIADATHA that all of us have
-experienced. That is one reason why it appeals so strongly to the B.S.F.
-But another reason is that THE SONG OF TIADATHA is something absolutely
-our own. Nobody can appreciate it to the full who has not belonged to the
-great family of the B.S.F. And as you men of that Army have had trials
-which have been peculiarly your own, so it is right that you should have
-a pleasure in which nobody outside the family can fully participate.
-
- H. C. OWEN.
-
- SALONICA,
- _January 1, 1919_.
-
-
-PUBLISHERS’ NOTE TO THE FIRST BRITISH EDITION
-
-As Mr. H. C. Owen (the Editor of the _Balkan News_) says above, THE
-SONG OF TIADATHA tells a story which is common to very many members of
-the Salonica Army; he says further that “nobody can appreciate it to
-the full who has not belonged to the great family of the B.S.F.” But we
-venture to think that it is a story which cannot properly be regarded
-as of local significance and interest merely. It typifies experiences
-which innumerable soldiers must, in their various ways, have undergone
-throughout the various theatres of the war. Thus THE SONG OF TIADATHA may
-be regarded in a sense as a little epic of the Great War, and, though it
-may find special appreciation among the great family of the B.S.F., its
-qualities are such that it may be expected to find appreciation among the
-great family of readers generally, soldiers and civilians alike.
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS
-
-
- CHAPTER PAGE
-
- INTRODUCTION 7
-
- I. THE JOINING OF TIADATHA 13
-
- II. THE TRAINING OF TIADATHA 18
-
- III. TIADATHA’S WOOING 23
-
- IV. TIADATHA’S DEPARTURE 29
-
- V. TIADATHA IN FRANCE 35
-
- VI. TIADATHA’S JOURNEY 42
-
- VII. TIADATHA AT SALONICA 47
-
- VIII. A DAY IN SALONIQUE 53
-
- IX. UP THE LINE 60
-
- X. CARRYING ON 66
-
- XI. TIADATHA’S DUG-OUT 73
-
- XII. TIADATHA’S BATTLE 80
-
- XIII. TIADATHA IN HOSPITAL 88
-
- XIV. THE FIRE 96
-
- XV. SNEVCE WAY 108
-
- XVI. A STUNT AT DAWN 116
-
- XVII. LEAVE TO ENGLAND 123
-
- XVIII. HOME AT LAST 132
-
-
-
-
-THE SONG OF TIADATHA
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-THE JOINING OF TIADATHA
-
-
- Should you question, should you ask me
- Whence this song of Tiadatha?
- Who on earth was Tiadatha?
- I should answer, I should tell you,
- He was what we call a filbert,
- Youth of two and twenty summers.
- You could see him any morning
- In July of 1914,
- Strolling slowly down St. James’s
- From his comfy flat in Duke Street.
- Little recked he of in those days,
- Save of socks and ties and hair-wash,
- Girls and motor-cars and suppers;
- Little suppers at the Carlton,
- Little teas at Rumpelmeyer’s,
- Little week-ends down at Skindle’s;
- Troc and Cri and Murray’s knew him,
- And the Piccadilly grill-room,
- And he used to dance at Ciro’s
- With the fairies from the chorus.
- There were many Tired Arthurs
- In July of 1914.
-
- Then came war, and Tiadatha
- Read his papers every morning,
- Read the posters on the hoardings,
- Read “Your King and Country want you.”
- “I must go,” said Tiadatha,
- Toying with his devilled kidneys,
- “Do my bit and join the Army.”
- So he hunted up a great-aunt,
- Who knew someone in the Service,
- Found himself in time gazetted
- To a temporary commission
- In the 14th Royal Dudshires.
-
- Straightway Tiadatha hied him
- To the shop of Bope and Pradley,
- Having seen their thrilling adverts.
- In the Tube and in the _Tatler_.
- Pradley sold him all he needed,
- Bope a lot of things he didn’t,
- Pressed upon him socks and puttees,
- Haversacks and water-bottles.
- Made him tunics for the winter,
- Made him tunics for the summer,
- And some very baggy breeches.
- There he chose his cap of khaki,
- Very light and very floppy
- (Rather like a tam-o’-shanter),
- And a supple chestnut Sam Browne,
- Quite a pleasant thing in Sam Brownes,
- Rather new but very supple.
-
- Many pounds spent Tiadatha
- On valises, baths and camp beds,
- Spent on wash-hand stands and kit bags.
- Macs and British warms and great-coats,
- And a gent’s complete revolver.
- Then he went to Piccadilly,
- Mr. Wing, of Piccadilly,
- Where he ordered ties and shirtings,
- Cream and coffee ties and shirtings,
- Ordered socks and underclothing,
- Putting down the lot to Father.
- Compass, torch and boots and glasses
- All of these sought Tiadatha;
- All day boys with loads were streaming
- To and from the flat in Duke Street,
- Like a chain of ants hard at it
- Storing rations for the winter.
-
- “One thing more,” cried Tiadatha,
- “One thing more ere I am perfect.
- I must have a sword to carry
- In a jolly leather scabbard.”
- So he called the son of Wilkin,
- Wilkin’s son who dwelt in Pall Mall,
- Bade him make a sword and scabbard.
- And the mighty son of Wilkin
- Made a sword for Tiadatha,
- From the truest steel he made it,
- Slim and slender as a maiden,
- Sharper than a safety razor,
- Sighed a little as he made it,
- Knowing well that Tiadatha
- Probably would never use it.
-
- Then at last my Tiadatha
- Sallied forth to join the Dudshires,
- Dressed in khaki, quite a soldier,
- Floppy cap and baggy breeches,
- Round his waist the supple Sam Browne,
- At his side the sword and scabbard,
- Took salutes from private soldiers
- And saluted Sergeant-Majors
- (Who were very much embarrassed),
- And reported at Headquarters
- Of the 14th Royal Dudshires.
- Shady waters of a river,
- Feels when by some turn of fortune
- He gets plopped into a cistern
- At a comic dime museum,
- Finds himself among strange fishes,
- Finds his happy freedom vanished,
- Even so felt Tiadatha
- On the day he joined the Dudshires.
- But he pulled himself together,
- Found the Adjutant, saluted,
- Saying briefly, “Please I’ve come, sir.”
- Such was Tiadatha’s joining.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-THE TRAINING OF TIADATHA
-
-
- Two long months spent Tiadatha
- On a Barrack Square in Dudshire
- Learning how to be a soldier.
- Laid aside the sword and scabbard
- Fashioned by the son of Wilkin,
- Only routed out on Sundays,
- For the Church Parades on Sundays.
- In their stead he bore a rifle,
- Just a rifle and a bayonet,
- Learnt to slope his arms by numbers
- Learnt to order arms by numbers,
- Learnt the rite of fixing bayonets,
- Harkening to the Sergeant-Major,
- Very gruff and fierce and warlike.
-
- Then came P.T. with its press-ups,
- Stretching slowly (on the hands down),
- Slowly, slowly bending downwards;
- After seven Tiadatha
- Lay and gasped upon his tummy.
- Then the muscle exercises,
- Ghastly muscle exercises,
- Standing with the blinking rifle
- Two full minutes at the shoulder.
-
- In those days too Tiadatha
- Learnt the mysteries of “Form Fours,”
- And evolved a simpler method,
- Which he showed the Sergeant-Major.
- “No, sir,” said the Sergeant-Major,
- Looking very fierce and warlike,
- “Mine’s the only way it’s done, sir,
- Mine’s the way the Colonel wants it.”
- “Narrow minds,” cried Tiadatha,
- “Hidebound hearts,” he cried in dudgeon,
- “Mine’s as good a way as his is,
- Mine is better than the Colonel’s.
- I shall tell him so to-morrow,
- Tell him on parade to-morrow.”
-
- On the morrow came the Colonel,
- Came the Colonel of the Dudshires,
- Stern and terrible in aspect,
- With his usual morning liver;
- Ran his eye along the front rank,
- Ran his eye along the rear rank,
- Till he came to Tiadatha.
- “There’s an officer,” he shouted,
- Bellowed forth in voice of thunder,
- “Holding up his blasted rifle
- Like a something something pitchfork.”
- After which poor Tiadatha
- Thought perhaps he wouldn’t mention
- Forming fours and simpler methods.
-
- Had you asked my Tiadatha
- If he loved those days of training,
- Loved the sloping arms by numbers,
- Loved the musketry and marching,
- And the press-ups and the shouting,
- He would just have smiled and told you
- That, until he joined the Army,
- He had not the least conception
- Life could be so damned unpleasant.
- But it made him much less nut-like,
- Made him straighter-backed and broader,
- Clear of eye, with muscles on him
- Like a strong man in a circus.
-
- And in time he formed new friendships
- With his brothers in the Dudshires.
- They were drawn from many countries,
- Many places and professions,
- From the public schools of England,
- From Ceylon and from Rhodesia,
- Canada, the Coast and China;
- Actors, business men and lawyers,
- And a planter from Malacca
- With a mighty thirst for whisky.
- As a village shop in Dudshire
- Has its wonderful collection,
- Miscellaneous assortment
- Of all things that you could think of,
- And a lot of things you couldn’t—
- Oranges and postal orders,
- Bullseyes, buckets, belts and bacon,
- Shoes and soap and writing-paper—
- Even such a strange collection
- Tiadatha found his brothers
- In the 14th Royal Dudshires.
- Yet they fitted in their places
- Like the pieces of a puzzle,
- Pieces of a jig-saw puzzle,
- And they talked on common topics,
- Motor-bikes and leave and press-ups.
- So among them Tiadatha
- Lived and laughed and learnt and grumbled,
- Shared their tents and huts and billets,
- Shared the mud and snow and sunshine,
- Shared the long route marches with them,
- And at night foregathered with them
- Over port and whisky sodas.
-
- Came a day when Tiadatha
- Handed in at last his rifle,
- And as a Platoon Commander,
- Found out what commanders feel like
- (Sort of super-idiot feeling)
- When they shout “Right Turn” for “Left Turn,”
- When they loudly bawl out “Eyes Left”
- For a General on their right hand.
- Daily too upon parade he
- Looked at his platoon’s cap badges,
- Saw its every button polished,
- Learnt that private soldiers’ hair grows
- Fast as cress upon a blanket.
- Many hours he spent in drilling,
- Spent in Foot and Kit inspections,
- Spent in strenuous Brigade Days
- On the windy downs of Dudshire,
- Finding (as he’d long suspected)
- That a subaltern’s existence
- Isn’t quite all beer and skittles.
- Such was Tiadatha’s training.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-TIADATHA’S WOOING
-
-
- During all the months of training,
- Months of waiting down in Dudshire,
- Often sighed my Tiadatha
- For his haunts about St. James’s,
- Missed his little flat in Duke Street,
- Missed his morning devilled kidneys.
- But at times he snatched a week-end
- From the joys of bombs and bayonets,
- Put his name down in the leave book
- And went crashing up to London.
-
- In the East they tell a legend
- Of the crocodiles that dwell there,
- Basking in the tropic sunshine
- On the mudflats of the rivers.
- Every night (so natives tell you)
- All the crocodiles will vanish
- To the palace of their rajah
- Underneath the winding rivers;
- There each crocodile his skin doffs,
- Hangs it in the palace courtyard
- And becomes a human being.
-
- Even so my Tiadatha
- Doffed his tunic for those week-ends,
- Hung his soldier’s mental skin up,
- Put off thoughts of bomb and bayonet,
- Turning to the haunts that knew him
- In July of 1914.
-
- Thus fared he through months of waiting
- Till at last there came the tidings:
- “We go out to France in three weeks,
- Final leave begins on Friday.”
- So it chanced that Tiadatha
- Spent his final leave in London,
- And one night looked in at Murray’s
- With a brother from the Dudshires.
- “I have got to meet my sister,”
- Said his brother from the Dudshires,
- “Meet my little sister Phyllis,
- Come and dance a fox-trot with her.”
-
- Rather bored felt Tiadatha,
- Thinking how he’d asked to supper
- Cloe Goldilocks of Daly’s,
- Bored until he saw this Phyllis,
- Heard his friend say, “Here’s my sister;
- Phyllis, this is Tiadatha.”
-
- Fair was she and slim and slender,
- Like an April day her eyes were,
- Green and grey as days in April.
- And her mouth curved like a rose leaf,
- And her smile was like the sunshine
- Playing on the Thames at Chelsea
- Early on a summer morning.
- Slim and slender as his sword was.
-
- Tiadatha looked and wondered,
- Found her different from the others,
- Asked her if she’d dance the next one,
- Vowed he’d dodge the gilt-haired Cloe;
- Then the band struck up a rag-time,
- Noisy, thrilling, banging rag-time,
- And he steered her through the mazes
- Of that crowded floor at Murray’s.
- In and out among the couples
- Tightly in his arms he bore her
- (Very careful not to bump her),
- Dipping, whirling, swinging, swaying,
- To the rhythm of the music,
- To that syncopated music
- Of the darkie band at Murray’s.
-
- Then they supped and danced a fox-trot,
- Careless, fascinating fox-trot,
- Danced a waltz, another rag-time;
- Till the darkie band departed,
- Till the waiters all grew restive
- Phyllis danced with Tiadatha.
- Brother Bill had hied him homewards
- Rather peevish, very sleepy,
- Saying “See her home to Sloane Street,”
- To the joy of Tiadatha.
-
- So he put her in a taxi,
- Saying to the driver gently,
- “No, old top, not straight to Sloane Street,”
- Hopped in too and looked at Phyllis,
- Found his heart was working faster
- Than a Lewis gun in action.
-
- Very lovely was the morning
- As they drove down Piccadilly,
- Pink and grey like parrots’ feathers;
- And the watered streets were gleaming
- Still and silent in the sunlight,
- None abroad and nothing stirring
- Save a sparrow in the Green Park,
- Save a reveller returning;
- Save a loaded wagon bearing
- Brussels sprouts to Covent Garden.
-
- “Phyllis, dear,” said Tiadatha,
- “No one ever danced like you do,
- No one ever smiled like you do,
- No one ever made my heart beat
- In the way that you have made it.
- Fate is cruel to let me find you
- On this last of final leave days.”
-
- Phyllis sighed and whispered softly,
- “Better to have found each other
- Even for a little hour.
- All the same, I hate you going;
- I shall miss you, Tiadatha.”
-
- “Some day I will come back, Phyllis,
- We will dance again together.
- Will you be my partner always,
- Will you wait, my lovely Phyllis?”
- Not a word she answered, only
- Moved her hand in his a little,
- And straightway my Tiadatha
- Took her in his arms and kissed her.
-
- * * * * *
-
- “’Ere we are, sir,” said the driver.
- “Bin ’ere this last twenty minutes,”
- Growled the driver of the taxi,
- Rather anxious for his breakfast.
- So they parted; Tiadatha
- Watched the front door close behind her,
- Gave the driver half-a-sovereign,
- Strolled back slowly to St. James!
-
- Thus was Tiadatha’s wooing,
- Thus he parted from his Phyllis.
- You will say ’twas not idyllic,
- Wooing in a London taxi,
- Parting on a London pavement.
- Yet romance is where your heart is
- Idylls what you like to make them.
- Anyone can be romantic
- In a punt beneath the willows;
- Anyone can be romantic
- In a woodland dell at sunset.
- But if punt and dell are absent
- And you want to tell your Phyllis,
- Want to tell her how you love her,
- Be a man like Tiadatha,
- Take her in your arms and tell her
- Even in a London taxi.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV
-
-TIADATHA’S DEPARTURE
-
-
- On a day in late September,
- In September 1915,
- Marched the 14th Royal Dudshires
- For the last time past their General,
- Ere they sailed to fight the Germans.
- After which my Tiadatha
- Sorted out the things he needed,
- All the things he thought he needed,
- For a life on active service,
- Active service in the trenches.
-
- “Thirty-five pounds, Tiadatha,”
- Said his Company Commander,
- Sitting on a mighty bundle,
- “Not another ounce, remember.”
- “Thirty-five pounds,” said the T.O.
- “Not another ounce, remember,
- Or I put the whole darned lot off.”
- All day long he heard their warnings,
- In his dreams he heard their warnings,
- “Thirty-five pounds, Tiadatha.”
-
- Ruefully he left behind him
- Presents from his fond relations—
- Cooking stoves and writing cases,
- Body shields and balaclavas,
- Medicine chests and many mittens,
- Also twenty-seven mufflers
- Knitted by some loving cousins,
- And a vast supply of Horlick’s.
-
- Even then it looked too bulky,
- That valise of Tiadatha’s,
- Very big and fat and bulging,
- Though he’d only crammed inside it
- Just the barest necessaries
- For a life on active service—
- And a pair of silk pyjamas,
- Just one pair of pink pyjamas,
- Souvenirs of Piccadilly.
-
- Then he helped his batman raise it,
- Watched his batman stagger with it
- To the laden limbered wagon.
- “Much too heavy,” said the T.O.
- Pointing an accusing finger.
- “Did I not say thirty-five pounds?
- This is over sixty-seven.”
-
- So they took it round the corner
- (Tiadatha and his batman),
- And with superhuman efforts
- Tightened up the straps a little,
- Hoisted it upon the limber
- When the T.O. wasn’t looking.
-
- On the next day Tiadatha
- Got his gent.’s complete equipment,
- Messed about with straps and buckles,
- Set upon it his revolver,
- Ammunition-pouch and compass,
- Stuffed the pack to overflowing,
- With some little things he couldn’t,
- Really couldn’t leave behind him.
- Not a man in all the Dudshires
- Had a pack like Tiadatha’s;
- When he put it on he tottered
- As a very strong man totters
- Carrying a grand piano,
- As a railway porter totters
- Humping trunks of Yankee travellers.
- “This is War,” said Tiadatha,
- As he went on the parade ground
- For his final march in England.
-
- Very cheerful were the Dudshires
- As they swung along the high road,
- Marching to the railway station,
- Off to do a job for England,
- Singing all the songs of those days,
- Playing “Keep the Home Fires Burning”
- On their fourpenny mouth-organs.
- And the simple folk of Dudshire
- Turned out in their scores to see them,
- Smiling through their tears they watched them.
- Standing in the cottage doorways,
- Waving from the cottage windows.
- As he sang each soldier wondered
- How long it would be, before he
- Saw again those smiling faces,
- Little knowing how he’d miss them,
- Sigh for all those smiling faces,
- For the sunny downs of Dudshire,
- For the mellow ale of Dudshire,
- In the days that were to follow.
- Then they reached the railway station,
- Journeyed down by train to Folkestone,
- And embarked upon their transport
- For the land of war and trenches.
-
- Should you ask me of their sailing,
- Ask me if the bands were playing,
- Buglers blowing, bagpipes wailing,
- Sirens tooting, people cheering,
- If the Quay were thronged with watchers
- Waving to their sons and husbands,
- Blowing kisses to their sweethearts,
- And the soldiers on the troopship
- Lining all along the taffrail,
- Singing loudly “Rule Britannia”
- (You have very likely heard it,
- _The Departure of the Troopship_,
- On some gramophone or other),
- I should make reply and tell you.
- There was not a band or bugle,
- Not a single watcher waving,
- Not a single soldier singing
- On the night that Tiadatha
- Sailed for France upon a troopship.
- Silently they left the station,
- Silently embarked at midnight,
- No one talking, no one smoking,
- Not a sound except the tramping
- Of the men along the gangway,
- And the gurgling water-bottles,
- And the rattle of equipment.
-
- Like a shadow lay the transport,
- Like a ghost she cast her moorings,
- And with her destroyer escort
- Steamed away into the darkness.
-
- “Better thus,” mused Tiadatha,
- As he watched the inky outline
- Of the cliffs of England fading,
- Thinking of his green-eyed Phyllis,
- Thinking hard of Piccadilly,
- Thinking of his loves and longings
- Set within the four-mile radius.
- “Better thus,” thought Tiadatha,
- Went below and had a whisky
- With his Company Commander,
- Made a pillow of his life-belt,
- Fell into a troubled slumber
- Till the shores of France were sighted.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V
-
-TIADATHA IN FRANCE
-
-
- Tiadatha had a notion,
- All the Dudshires had a notion
- That in France they’d drop for ever
- Musketry and long route marches,
- Drop the sloping arms by numbers,
- Drop the everlasting press-ups,
- As a steamer drops her pilot
- When she reaches open waters.
- Yet the Dudshires’ recollection
- Of those days in France is mainly
- One big blur of mingled P.T.,
- Arm drill, long straight roads and marches.
-
- Many miles my Tiadatha
- Tramped along those endless highways.
- Endless as a winter’s evening,
- Straighter than the wife of Cæsar,
- Fringed with trees all apple-laden,
- Apple-laden till the Dudshires
- Had a short fall-out beneath them.
-
- Many villages they came to,
- Villages as like as marbles,
- With a little church, a duck pond,
- And a local pub, which furnished
- Nothing in the world but _vin rouge_
- (“Two _vins_, please, Miss,” called the Dudshires),
- Beer as thin as tissue paper,
- And (sometimes) a drop of cognac:
- There were bars in which the soldiers
- Slept on straw and ate and grumbled,
- Shaved and smoked and wrote their letters—
- Tiadatha censored hundreds.
- There were cottages that straggled
- (Like some weary soldiers marching)
- Down a very muddy main street;
- In those cottages dwelt old men,
- Women, children and some cripples,
- But no men with able bodies,
- Not a slacker, not a shirker.
-
- Here it was that Tiadatha
- Slept upon the chilly stone floor,
- Or (if fate were feeling kinder)
- On a mighty feather mattress,
- Ate his dinner in the kitchen,
- Drinking down great draughts of cider,
- Talking in his very vile French
- To Madame, his kindly hostess,
- Wrinkled as a russet apple.
- By the fire he wrote his letters,
- Wrote and told his green-eyed Phyllis
- How he missed her every minute,
- Thanked her for the cake she’d sent him,
- Hinted that he’d like another.
-
- Little dreamed my Tiadatha
- How he’d miss the cottage kitchen,
- Miss the long French loaves and butter,
- And his kindly wrinkled hostess,
- In the days that were to follow.
-
- After several weeks of wandering,
- From one village to another,
- From one billet to another,
- Came a sojourn in the trenches
- Just to see what trenches feel like.
-
- On the day that Tiadatha
- Sallied forth into the trenches,
- Wondrously was he accoutred.
- On his head a cap with ear-flaps
- (Very like a third-rate footpad’s),
- On his feet a pair of waders,
- Reaching upwards to his tummy.
- Many bags of tricks he carried,
- Compass, map case and revolver,
- Respirator, two trench daggers,
- And his pack was great with torches,
- Tommy’s cookers, iron rations,
- And a box of ear defenders,
- Present from his Aunt Matilda.
-
- As they saw him in the distance,
- Bearing down upon their billets,
- His platoon turned out in wonder,
- Watched the apparition coming,
- Speculated who it might be,
- Freely making bets about it,
- Till they found it was none other
- Than their own platoon commander.
-
- Then he trudged off to the trenches,
- Followed many muddy C.T.s,
- Till at last he reached a dug-out,
- And “reported for instruction”
- To the hero who commanded
- That small sector of the trenches.
- This stout hero and his fellows
- Made my Tiadatha welcome,
- Straightway plying him with whisky,
- Saying, “Won’t you take your kit off?
- All you’ll need up here’s a Sam Browne.”
-
- Then his host expounded to him
- Many mysteries of warfare,
- And the routine of the trenches,
- All the habits of the Boche cove.
- All the Boche’s beastly habits,
- When he crumped, and when he didn’t,
- How you got retaliation;
- Spoke of Véry lights and whizzbangs,
- Lewis guns and working parties,
- Of his leave, due Friday fortnight,
- Of the foibles of his Colonel,
- Of the rats that he had captured
- With some cheese upon a bayonet.
-
- Then they took him round their trenches,
- Round their muddy maze of trenches,
- Rather like an aggravated
- Rabbit warren with the roof off,
- Worse to find one’s way about in
- Than the dark and windy subways
- Of the Piccadilly tube are.
-
- In the day and night that followed
- Many things learnt Tiadatha
- Of the subtleties of trench-craft.
- Learnt of crumps and duds and shrapnel,
- And enjoyed himself immensely,
- Little knowing how he’d loathe crumps
- When he got to know them better.
-
- There are very many trials
- That a soldier can get used to:
- Senior officers and bully,
- Dug-outs, mules and ration biscuits,
- Even standing-to in trenches
- At some God-forsaken hour
- On a cold and rainy morning,
- But a crump is one of those things
- That you never quite get used to,
- And the longer that you know them,
- Usually the less you like them.
- Crumps are like the gilt-haired fairies
- (Very swift and rather thrilling)
- Tiadatha played about with
- In the days he was a filbert—
- Quite amusing when you meet them
- Once or twice or even three times,
- Who become a little trying
- When they all turn up to supper
- Regularly every evening.
-
- But in those days Tiadatha
- Didn’t mind the crumps a little.
- Laughed to hear them rustling over
- All the time that he was shaving,
- Laughed to see a couple bursting
- In a traverse near his dug-out,
- As he laughed at Cloe’s sallies
- On the day when first he met her
- In her dressing-room at Daly’s.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI
-
-TIADATHA’S JOURNEY
-
-
- As the Dudshires were preparing
- For a winter in the trenches,
- Just as they were getting settled
- In their sector of the trenches,
- Came an order for their moving
- To an unknown destination—
- Sudden as a German flare-light
- To a midnight working party,
- Unexpected as a kidney
- To a quartermaster-sergeant.
- There were many speculations
- As to what was going to happen,
- Many arguments about it,
- Many wagers laid about it,
- Many strange unholy rumours.
-
- In the mighty British Army
- Rumour is the only issue
- That arrives at units larger
- Than it leaves the Base Supply Park.
- Up it comes without an indent
- (Possibly in lieu of lime-juice),
- Heaven only knows its maker;
- Like a toy balloon it swells up,
- Gently growing big and bigger;
- At the Dump the Mr. Knowalls
- Have a blow to make it fatter,
- Pass it on to Transport drivers,
- Who in their turn puff their hardest,
- Make it change its shape a little,
- Hand it over with the rations.
- Then the minions of the Q.M.
- Do their little bit to help it,
- After which the Sergeant-Major
- Takes a lusty breath to fix it,
- Sends it up into the trenches
- As a full-blown Army rumour.
-
- Fast and thick as flying fishes
- Rise and dive in the Pacific,
- Rumours came and went in those days.
- Sending off the whole battalion
- On a mission to the Aztecs,
- As town guard of Buenos Ayres,
- Or to fight beside the Russians,
- Or to sail for Salonica.
- And the last seemed most fantastic,
- Tiadatha laughed the loudest,
- Laying 9 to 2 against it.
-
- After several days of waiting,
- Being issued out with goatskins,
- Issued out with leather jerkins
- (Fuel to the rumour-mongers),
- Came a very trying night march
- To a dreary railway station.
-
- As they neared the railway station
- Rose before my Tiadatha
- Visions of a Pullman carriage,
- Or at least a third-class smoker,
- And he called to mind the adage,
- “Third-class riding’s always better,
- Better far than first-class walking.”
- Bitterly the Dudshires grumbled,
- When they found their third-class riding
- Was to be in old horse-boxes,
- Squashed like figs and not so comfy:
- Thirty-nine at first were crammed in,
- Then another and another,
- Then a pile of army blankets,
- Then their overcoats in bundles.
-
- Tiadatha and his brothers
- Found themselves another horse-box,
- Got a little straw and spread it,
- Wrapped themselves up in their great-coats,
- Fell asleep with straw for mattress,
- Someone else’s boots for pillow.
-
- Tiadatha often shuddered
- Thinking of the days that followed,
- Of the days and nights that followed,
- As that God-forsaken troop train
- Rocked upon its journey southward.
- All his life will he remember
- Turning out for tea at midnight
- In some dimly-lighted station,
- Shaving in acute discomfort,
- Washing when he got a chance to,
- Hotting up his ration bacon
- On a wobbly Tommy’s cooker,
- Passing by the weary hours
- Playing little games of vingty,
- Losing one by one his chattels
- In the straw about the horse-box,
- In the straw that buried all things,
- In the straw that clung to all things.
-
- At Marseilles at last they halted,
- And straightway my Tiadatha,
- Having stretched his legs a little,
- Found himself and all the Dudshires
- Packed aboard a British cruiser;
- Not a chance to see the beauties
- Of that very ancient seaport,
- Not a chance to stop to dinner,
- Not a chance to try his hand at
- Crime-committing after dinner.
-
- Soon, however, Tiadatha
- Loathed the very thought of dinner
- At Marseilles or in the Ward Room,
- As that cruiser started rolling
- Through the heaving Gulf of Lyons.
- But there followed days of sunshine,
- Sea and sky as blue as Reckitt’s,
- When he wished he’d joined the Navy,
- Wished he’d gone and been a sailor,
- When his only care was wondering
- If he’d have another sherry.
- What a periscope would look like,
- Where on earth he’d left his life-belt,
- Wondering still where they were bound for,
- Egypt, Serbia, or Mespot:
- Till at last all bets were settled,
- All the speculations answered,
- As one day my Tiadatha
- Came on deck and saw before him
- Salonica, white and lovely,
- Gleaming in the morning sunlight.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII
-
-TIADATHA AT SALONICA
-
-
- On the day the Royal Dudshires
- Set their foot in Salonica,
- Nobody seemed pleased to see them,
- No one worried much about them.
- M.L.O.s were apathetic,
- Not a bit enthusiastic,
- Like a hostess at a party
- When an uninvited guest comes.
- And the folk of Salonica
- Did not come to bid them welcome,
- Did not hang out flags of welcome,
- Did not cry, “’Tis well, O brothers,
- That ye come so far to see us.”
- (After all there was no reason
- Why on earth they should have done so.)
- But they stood and watched the Dudshires
- Marching through their ancient city,
- Slipping on their cobbled roadway,
- Giving “Eyes Left” to a Greek guard;
- Stood and watched them from their doorways,
- Watched them through their grimy windows,
- Not a bit enthusiastic.
-
- Many sights saw Tiadatha
- As he marched through Salonica,
- Cretan gendarmes with their long boots
- And their breakfasts in their breeches,
- In their great black baggy breeches;
- Turkish ladies clad in trousers;
- Tattered hamals bending double
- With a load of fifty oil tins;
- Many little limping donkeys,
- Little overladen donkeys,
- As they crossed the Rue Egnatia
- (Where St. Paul in bygone ages
- Used to do his bit of shopping).
- Tiadatha thought of Kipling,
- Wondered if he’d ever been there,
- Thought “At least in Rue Egnatia
- East and West are met together.”
- There were trams and Turkish beggars,
- Mosques and minarets and churches,
- Turkish baths and dirty cafés,
- Picture palaces and kan-kans;
- Daimler cars and Leyland lorries
- Barging into buffalo wagons,
- French and English private soldiers
- Jostling seedy Eastern brigands.
-
- On a hill near Lembet Village
- Came to rest the Royal Dudshires,
- And their tents sprang up like toadstools,
- All the camp was fixed by tea-time,
- All were settled down by tea-time.
-
- There was nothing on that hillside,
- Not a tree or habitation,
- Save a little shanty standing
- Like a palm tree in a desert—
- The Canteen of Back (Orosdi).
- There it was that Tiadatha
- Tasted Greek beer for the first time,
- Made a frugal meal of walnuts,
- Figs and Turk’s delight and éclairs,
- Paid and found that he was living
- Miles and miles beyond his income;
- Found his little lunch had cost him
- More than if he’d been to Prince’s.
-
- Rumour in these days was busy.
- They were going up to Serbia,
- They were going off to Egypt;
- Twenty thousand Greeks were ready
- (Rumour said) to down upon them,
- Scupper them within their flea-bags
- (Or, more pleasantly, intern them).
- Many hours spent Tiadatha
- Wondering what was going to happen.
-
- All that happened was a blizzard,
- Not a private soldier blizzard
- With some Christmas cardy snowflakes,
- But a perfect Balkan teaser,
- Sergeant-Major of a blizzard,
- Made of supersleet and hailstones,
- Every bitter wind of heaven
- Massed together for the business.
-
- As a shade is to a candle
- So is Uncle Time to trouble:
- Looking back we mostly find things
- Not so bad as once we thought them.
- Fifty Uncle Times, however,
- Could not shade for all who met it
- Memories of that Balkan blizzard.
-
- And the wretched Tiadatha
- Groaned to find his bucket frozen,
- Boots and even tooth-brush frozen,
- Regularly every morning;
- Vainly tried to keep his feet warm,
- Crouching o’er a little oil-stove,
- Colder than New Zealand mutton,
- Colder than an ice-cream soda.
- And at intervals he murmured,
- “How I hate this beastly country.”
- And the sergeants and the corporals,
- And the luckless private soldiers,
- Murmured as the wind came sweeping,
- “How I hate this blinkin’ country.”
- Little then dreamed Tiadatha
- Of the times those words would tremble
- On the lips of countless soldiers
- In the Salonica Army,
- Both in winter and in summer:
- “How I hate this blinkin’ country.”
-
- When the blizzard passed, the Dudshires
- Settled down to work in earnest:
- All day long obliging people
- Found them jobs to keep them going.
- Guards, fatigues and working parties,
- Roads to make and hills to dig on.
- All the livelong day the Dudshires
- Spent in digging up the Balkans,
- Toiling at redoubts and trenches,
- Dug-outs, Lewis gun emplacements,
- Finding when the things were finished
- Someone thought that they’d be better
- Ten yards higher up the hillside,
- Ten yards lower down the hillside.
-
- Then came strenuous Brigade Days,
- Ruining expensive breeches,
- Creepy-crawling over crest lines,
- Picketing some height or other,
- Getting lost at four pip emma,
- Fed-up, far from home, and hungry.
-
- So the weeks and months sped onward,
- Samey as suburban houses,
- Uneventful as a dud is,
- Till the winter turned to spring-time,
- Till the spring-time scattered flowers
- Like confetti on the hillsides.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII
-
-A DAY IN SALONIQUE
-
-
- There are many famous highways,
- Many famous streets in history:
- Watling Street and Piccadilly,
- Sidney Street and Champs-Elysée,
- And the Appian Way and Wall Street,
- But the Lembet Road will ever
- Take a place in fame beside them,
- While a single British soldier
- Lives to tell of Salonica.
- Mud and slush and bumps in winter,
- Bumps and dust and flies in summer.
- Still, it’s filled out since we found it,
- Since we got to work upon it,
- As a skinny baby fills out
- After being fed on Benger’s.
-
- There it was that Tiadatha
- Learnt the gentle art of wangling
- Lifts in cars and motor lorries
- Down to Piccadilly Circus,
- In the days before the Bulgar
- Strolled into the Struma Valley.
-
- He would spend the morning shopping,
- Buying sundry brands of whisky
- (Mostly made by local effort)
- At the most prodigious prices;
- In his hob-nailed boots he slithered
- Up and down Rue Venizelos,
- Buying mullet by the oke,
- Buying tangerines and chestnuts.
- Shopkeepers would see him coming,
- Cry with glee, “Here’s Tiadatha,
- Plenty money, Tiadatha.”
-
- After lunch at the Olympus
- (Prices higher than the mountain),
- Off he sped to Baths of Botton,
- Tasted once again the pleasures
- Of a bath you can lie down in.
- Though the soap was green and hardy,
- Though the towels weren’t all they might be,
- Even though the place was dirty,
- It was better than a bucket.
- Good and hot he made the water,
- Lay and splashed for half-an-hour,
- Whistling snatches of a rag-time.
-
- Then of course he tea’d at Floca’s
- Cosmopolitan as Shepheard’s,
- Ever full to overflowing.
- In those days there came to Floca’s
- Officers of many armies,
- Officers of many navies,
- Mufti-wallahs of all nations.
- Came the Greeks (with swords beside them),
- Gold and scarlet as a sunset,
- Came the Italians with their grey cloaks,
- French with caps like skies in summer,
- Came the Serbs and came the Russians,
- Came the English, Jocks and Irish,
- Admirals, snotties and Commanders,
- Colonels, Generals and Captains,
- And a few bold bad Lieutenants
- Poodle-faking with some sisters.
- Here they met and fed together,
- Drank their mastic, tea or absinthe,
- Talked their own peculiar language,
- Twenty tongues and yet one language:
- When they wanted their _addition_,
- Wanted their perspiring waiter,
- They just clapped their hands together,
- Loudly clapped their hands together,
- Two or three or even four times.
- And in good time came the waiter,
- Dodging round the crowded tables,
- As a cycling newsboy dodges
- In and out of London traffic,
- Added tip into the total,
- Just for fear they should forget it.
-
- After tea a bit more shopping,
- And perhaps a Picture Palace
- (Fifteen suicides and murders
- In the space of half-an-hour).
- Then he dined at Bastasini’s,
- Dined at the expensive Roma,
- With his very best pal Percy;
- Drank some pretty nasty bubbly,
- Sat and watched the other diners
- Wrestling with their macaroni,
- Watched a livery Greek major
- (More and more and more impatient
- For the omelette he had ordered)
- Break a plate upon the table,
- Dash one on the floor in pieces,
- Then another and another,
- Till the room was in an uproar,
- Till he’d got the whole staff round him.
- “Stout old heart,” cheered Tiadatha,
- “Go it, Steve,” cheered Tiadatha,
- “That’s the only way to do it
- If you’re really in a hurry.”
-
- After dinner off they sallied
- To the Odéon or Tour Blanche
- (Where you never paid but pushed past),
- Crowded in the nearest stage-box,
- Or if it was locked climbed over.
-
- Had you asked my Tiadatha
- If the show was very thrilling,
- If the lovely ladies sang him
- Haunting songs of joy and sadness,
- He’d have told you in a minute
- That he hadn’t time to notice.
- He was always much too busy
- Shouting “Un, deux, trois” with Frenchmen,
- Drinking lager beer with Serbians,
- Swapping caps with ice-cream merchants,
- Helping several rowdy Russkis
- To lasso the band conductor,
- Having special little Ententes
- With a boxful of the Navy;
- Much too busy ragging Bertha,
- Andrée, Denisette or Dolly,
- Much too busy dodging Zizi,
- When she clamoured “Champagne cider.”
- And when A.P.M.s came prowling,
- He would disappear sedately
- With a beer mug in one pocket,
- And a tin tray in the other,
- Finish up a noisy evening
- With a game of “Ring-a-roses,”
- Then jolt campwards in a gharry
- To valise and well-earned slumber.
-
- * * * * *
-
- Do not fear my Tiadatha
- Gently sliding to Avernus,
- Losing all the pleasant manners
- Taught him by his lady mother,
- Do not fear one day to find him
- Clapping hands at Rumpelmeyer’s
- For another chocolate éclair,
- Breaking plates and things at Prince’s
- When his lunch is long in coming,
- Looting beer mugs at the Palace
- Or lassoing the conductor—
- He must do as Salonique does,
- For there’s nothing else to do there.
-
- Some there are find Salonica
- Dirty, dull and evil-smelling.
- Bored to tears, they sometimes ask you
- What on earth there is to do there.
- But I make reply and tell them
- Salonica’s what you make it.
- London can be just as boring
- As a dug-out in the trenches,
- Or a dug-out in the trenches
- Can be merrier than Murray’s—
- If you’ve got the right coves in it,
- Got a little drop of whisky,
- Other climes and other morals:
- When you go to Salonica,
- Be an idiot for an evening,
- Make a noise with Tiadatha,
- Drink your beer and pinch the glasses,
- Raid the band and rag the fairies,
- Dance a fox-trot with a Frenchman,
- Get a little mild amusement
- Even out of Salonica.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX
-
-UP THE LINE
-
-
- Often in those days of digging,
- Days of weary treks up country,
- Days of strenuous manœuvres,
- Came the listless private soldiers,
- Came the corporals and the sergeants,
- Spoke a work with Tiadatha,
- Saying, “What about this war, sir?
- Do you think we’ll ever find it,
- Ever see a Boche or Bulgar,
- Ever show ’em what we’re made of?”
- “Never fear,” said Tiadatha,
- Speaking with prophetic insight.
- “There is time enough for fighting,
- Time enough for Boche and Bulgar;
- Though it may be long in coming,
- Yet you’ll get your share of fighting,
- Get your bellyful of fighting
- Ere you’ve finished with the Balkans.”
-
- As a band of shipwrecked sailors,
- Cast upon a desert island,
- Strain their eyes in weary watching
- For a sail on the horizon,
- Even so the Royal Dudshires
- Watched and waited for the order
- That would send them to the trenches,
- Take them from their desert island,
- From their daily round of digging.
- And at times there came a rumour,
- Like a speck on the horizon.
- Eagerly the Dudshires hailed it,
- Thought that it was going to save them,
- But it always came to nothing.
-
- So they sweltered through the summer,
- Through the arid Balkan summer,
- And the sun beat down upon them,
- Hot as towels a Yankee barber
- Claps upon you when he’s shaved you.
- They would rise at godless hours,
- Working in the dawn and evening,
- And throughout the blazing daytime
- Lie inside their scorching bivvies
- On a barren Balkan hillside
- (Innocent of shade or cover
- As a very bald man’s head is),
- Lie and curse the tepid water,
- Curse the flies and the mosquitoes,
- Till at last there came the order,
- Secret order for their moving
- To the front line and the trenches,
- And in under twenty minutes
- Every soldier knew about it.
-
- All was bustle and excitement,
- Packing up and getting ready,
- And the T.O. and the Q.M.
- Swore their lives were not worth living,
- Swore they’d need at least another
- Fifty mules to move the regiment.
- And straightway my Tiadatha
- Went and got his kit together,
- Did his utmost to reduce it,
- Threw away a pair of bedsocks,
- And a tie his aunt had sent him,
- Sighed to leave his bed behind him,
- Wrought by Private Woggs, his batman,
- Wrought from bits of ration boxes,
- And a scrap of wire netting.
-
- Then at last one summer evening,
- In July of 1916,
- Tiadatha and the Dudshires
- Started on their journey northward,
- On their journey to the trenches;
- Every night at dusk they started,
- Marched with full packs through the darkness
- (No one talking, no one smoking),
- Plodded onward through the darkness,
- And, perhaps at two ac emma,
- Reached a barren piece of waste land,
- Found their mules and fetched their blankets,
- Dossed down with the stars for ceiling,
- Snatched a little sleep till daylight.
- All the day they lay and simmered,
- Stuck a blanket up for shelter,
- Spent the sultry morning thinking
- Of the things they would have given
- For a long sweet draught of cold beer,
- Bass or Worthington or Allsopp,
- In a long cool lager beer mug.
- Sighed, and drank some tepid water,
- Ate some squishy-squashy bully,
- Moist and warm and very nasty.
-
- For five nights and days the Dudshires
- Fared upon their journey northward,
- On the sixth they reached the front line
- And relieved a French battalion,
- In a pelting, pouring rainstorm.
-
- As the guide led Tiadatha
- On towards his destination,
- To the section of the front line
- He was ordered to take over,
- Soon he found that all was different
- From the warfare he had known
- In the line near Bray and Albert.
- He had pictured deep-dug trenches,
- He had pictured winding C.T.s
- Saps and mines and concrete dug-outs,
- Belts of wire as broad as rivers,
- Bulgar posts within a bomb’s throw.
- But he found instead of trenches
- Little scratchings on the hill-tops,
- Outposts scattered on the hill-tops,
- Reached by little winding pathways,
- Strands of wire forlornly dangling,
- Limp and spiritless and sketchy,
- As a stricken banjo’s strings are,
- And instead of concrete dug-outs
- Leaky shelters made of oak-leaves
- Perched behind the barren hill-tops.
-
- There it was that Tiadatha
- Found at length a French lieutenant,
- Picked up scraps of information,
- Talking in his very vile French,
- Learnt the methods of patrolling,
- Learnt the habits of the Bulgar,
- Learnt that he was three miles distant,
- Learnt of 535 his stronghold,
- Crawling with O. Pips and field-guns.
- Then they left the dim-lit _abri_,
- Staggered out into the darkness,
- Through the pelting, pouring rainstorm,
- Silently relieved the sentries,
- Posted all the Dudshire sentries,
- Whispered to them what their job was,
- What the number of their group was,
- Where the groups on right and left were.
- Then the gallant French lieutenant
- Gathered all his men together,
- Left his little bits of trenches
- To the rain and Tiadatha.
-
- ITEA,
- _January 18, 1918_.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X
-
-CARRYING ON
-
-
- There are very many lessons
- Taught you by the British Army,
- And when you have boiled the lot down
- Only two things really matter.
- When you’ve learnt them you’re a soldier,
- Till you have you’re still a duffer;
- First to know your left from right hand,
- Next to find your way in darkness—
- Both are passing hard to master.
- After nearly two years’ training
- Tiadatha could be trusted
- Not to go and bawl out “Eyes Right”
- To a guard upon his left hand,
- But to find his way in darkness
- Was a very different pigeon.
-
- If you lose your way in London
- You can always ask a policeman,
- You can always hail a taxi,
- But there were no taxis plying
- From Baraka to Sidemli,
- No policeman’s measured footfall
- ’Twixt Les Batignolles and Clichy.
- Round about these pleasant places
- Nightly Tiadatha staggered,
- Visiting his lonely outposts,
- Taking out a digging party,
- Leading out patrols to Dautli.
- Up and down the hills he stumbled,
- Crossing little winding _dere_,
- Falling into rocky gullies,
- Falling into blackberry bushes,
- Into unexpected shell holes,
- Took wrong turnings in the darkness
- (Hardly ever took the right one),
- Lost his bearings far more often
- Than a woman loses hankies.
- On patrol the Pitons knew him,
- Bekerli and Green Hill knew him,
- And the minaret that rises
- From the ruins of Sidemli;
- Marching homewards in the daylight
- Often he would stop to rest there,
- Stop to gather fruit for dinner
- From the plum trees in the village;
- And one day he drove some Bulgars
- From a little unnamed _piton_,
- Drove them off in wild confusion,
- Brought their rifles back in triumph,
- Brought a cap and water-bottle,
- Brought some cheese they’d left behind them.
- And the General named the _piton_,
- Called it after Tiadatha,
- Called it Tiadatha’s Piton.
-
- Then one night the Royal Dudshires
- Moved a little farther forward,
- Pinched some hills and sat upon them;
- Hurriedly they dug them trenches,
- Put up rolls of concertina;
- And one afternoon in August
- (In the midst of crumps and shrapnel)
- Put to flight three thousand Bulgars
- Who had sallied forth to meet them.
-
- Several weeks my Tiadatha
- Lived on sundry little hill-tops,
- Changing over every fortnight,
- Sleeping in a sketchy bivvy,
- Sleeping with his boots and clothes on.
- Just as he was getting settled,
- Had his trenches nearly finished,
- Promptly the battalion shifted,
- Marched for one night to the eastward,
- Then passed by the boundary pillar,
- Passed the Serbian boundary pillar
- On the road that leads to Doiran,
- Once again relieved their Allies,
- In the line that looked o’er Doiran,
- In the line where Grand Couronné
- Frowned upon their every movement
- As the mighty 535 did:
- Loomed above them like the Great Wheel
- At the Earl’s Court Exhibition.
-
- There my tireless Tiadatha
- Came one dark October evening,
- Found a certain Captain Siomme,
- Sitting in a dim-lit dug-out,
- Pledged with him eternal friendship
- In a loving-cup of _vin rouge_.
- Then said gallant Captain Siomme,
- “I will show you all the trenches,
- All the wire beyond the trenches,
- Show you where it wants repairing,
- Show you also where the gaps are.”
- Silently they crept towards it,
- Siomme and my Tiadatha:
- “_Silence!_” said the gallant Siomme,
- Lifting up a warning finger,
- Pursing up his lips in warning,
- “_Sérieux, fort sérieux_, sir,
- _Silence, silence_, Tiadatha”—
- Didn’t see the barbed wire coming
- Didn’t see it in the darkness,
- Into his own wire went crashing,
- Dragging Tiadatha with him,
- And straightway forgot his warnings.
- Terrible the oaths he uttered,
- Cursing loudly in the French tongue,
- Crept out of the jangling barbed wire,
- Extricated Tiadatha.
- Thereupon a Bulgar sentry,
- Wakened from his pleasant slumbers,
- Feeling rather bored about it,
- Heaved a bomb at Captain Siomme,
- Heaved a bomb at Tiadatha,
- As a householder in London,
- Wakened from his pleasant slumber
- By a tomcat on the house tiles,
- Opens wide his bedroom window,
- Heaves a boot jack at the noises.
- Then a zealous Dudshire sentry
- Swiftly flung a bomb in answer,
- Followed it with five rounds rapid,
- Thinking that there was a war on.
- Then the Bulgars sent a light up,
- And another and another,
- Made the darkness light as Bond Street
- On an afternoon in winter.
- Siomme and my Tiadatha
- Lay and grovelled on their tummies,
- Still as any startled tortoise.
- After that the German gunners
- Put a dozen salvoes over,
- And the English field-guns opened,
- Feeling sure there was a war on.
- Bits of bombs and crumps and shrapnel
- Made the autumn evening hideous,
- Groups stood to, machine-guns rattled,
- All the telephones got busy,
- And supports turned out in dudgeon.
-
- As a prairie fire is started
- By a match or cigarette end,
- So a mighty strafe was started
- All because the gallant Siomme
- Fell into his own defences.
-
- Swiftly as it came, it faded,
- And the night regained its stillness,
- Gunners settled down to slumber,
- Sentries settled down to watching,
- Telephones at last subsided,
- And fed-up supports departed
- To their dug-outs in the trenches.
-
- Siomme and my Tiadatha
- Found their way back in the darkness
- To the Company Headquarters,
- Pledged once more eternal friendship
- In another mug of _vin rouge_,
- Afterwards in one of whisky,
- Then wired in “relief completed.”
- After which the gallant Captain
- And his officers and privates
- Straggled off into the darkness
- To wherever they were going.
-
- LONDON,
- _February 18, 1918_.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI
-
-TIADATHA’S DUG-OUT
-
-
- Very lovely is Kyoto
- In the days of cherry blossom;
- Very lovely is the splendour
- Of the snow-wrapped Rocky Mountains;
- Lovely are the coral islands
- Strung like jade in the Pacific,
- And the palm trees of Malaya,
- Black against an orange sunset.
- Lovely are the long white breakers
- On the beach at Honolulu.
- Even as the Thames Embankment
- On a misty day in autumn.
- Gib. at dawn, Hong Kong at evening,
- Lights of Rio in the darkness,
- And the Golden Gate of ’Frisco,
- All of these are very lovely,
- Yet I know a sight still fairer,
- Doiran red and grey and yellow,
- Clustered on the Serbian hillside,
- Gleaming in the morning sunlight,
- Ever gazing, like Narcissus,
- Down upon its own reflection
- In the lake that laps its houses—
- Lovely when you first behold it,
- It becomes a trifle boring
- When week after week it greets you
- Every morning as the dawn breaks,
- And the cry “Stand down” is given
- When the sun comes stealing gently
- Sure as Fate above the hill-tops,
- And the Bulgar starts his sniping.
- Thus my Tiadatha saw it
- Every morning as the dawn broke,
- Through the livelong Serbian winter,
- Saw its church and battered houses,
- Saw the Bulgars’ lines before it,
- Snow-capped Beles to the Eastward,
- Grand Couronné to the Westward.
-
- All those winter months the Dudshires
- Picked and dug the Serbian hillside.
- Left their mark on Macedonia
- Like a tripper on a tree trunk,
- Slaved their souls out making trenches,
- Slaved their souls out making dug-outs,
- That they might be somewhat safer
- From the beastly little pipsqueaks,
- From the most unpleasant whizzbangs,
- From the great big five-point-niners,
- And the crumps the eight-inch how. sends.
-
- Then one day quoth Tiadatha,
- “I am sick of leafy bowers,
- I am sick of bivvy shelters;
- They are too darned cold for one thing,
- Much too narrow for another.
- I will also make a dug-out,
- Make myself a home to live in,
- Furnish it unto my liking,
- Coax perhaps a little comfort
- Even out of Macedonia.”
-
- So he called for Woggs, his batman,
- Bade him fetch a pick and shovel,
- Doffed his tunic, tie and collar,
- Set to work with Woggs in earnest.
- All day long they picked and shovelled,
- Pausing only when a crump came,
- Pausing only for a pipsqueak,
- Till poor Tiadatha’s back ached,
- Till his hands were badly blistered,
- And he wearied of the labour.
- Called in four stout private soldiers,
- Set them too upon the digging,
- Helped to fill and tie the sandbags,
- Helped to get them in position,
- Leaving spaces for a window
- And a little narrow doorway.
-
- Then he called again his batman,
- Called for Woggs the faithful batman,
- Whispered certain secret orders,
- And, upon the morning after,
- Found himself the proud possessor
- Of a dozen sheets of iron,
- Sheets of corrugated iron,
- And some bits of brand-new timber.
- Little recked my Tiadatha
- That a certain R.E. Captain
- Even then was musing darkly
- As to where the stuff had got to.
-
- So they roofed the little dug-out
- With the scraps of purloined timber,
- With the bits of stolen iron,
- Then they piled the roof with sandbags,
- Fondly hoping it would keep out
- Anyhow a dud or pipsqueak.
-
- Then the tireless Woggs got busy,
- Hung the walls with bits of sacking,
- Made a chair and made a table
- And some shelves from ration boxes,
- Even made a little washstand,
- With an old tin hat for basin,
- And a rather dicky bedstead,
- From a few odd wiring pickets
- And a roll of rabbit netting
- (Borrowed from the Sergeant-Major
- When that worthy wasn’t looking),
- Filled an old tin mug with flowers,
- Decked the walls with dreadful pictures
- From _La Vie_ and from _The Tatler_.
-
- “One thing more,” cried Tiadatha,
- “One thing even now is lacking.
- What about a little fireplace,
- What about it, O my batman?”
- Not a word spoke Woggs the batman,
- Save to murmur, “Very good, sir,”
- Went and pinched an empty oil drum,
- Spent the afternoon in hammering;
- Hammered till he woke the Colonel,
- Hammered till he woke the Major.
- Moved away a little farther,
- Till he’d got his job of work done,
- Then he fixed it in the dug-out,
- With some puddled mud he fixed it,
- Got a piece of tin for chimney,
- Dug some vine roots up for firewood,
- Eked them out with bits of charcoal
- Wangled from Headquarters’ cookhouse.
-
- And that night my Tiadatha,
- Wet and weary from the trenches,
- Found a cheery wood fire blazing,
- Found a most uncommon fug up.
- “It is well,” said Tiadatha,
- “It is well, my soldier servant,
- Well and truly have you served me.
- Take this tin of Craven Mixture,
- Take this tin of Royal Beauties,
- Take this tin of Cadbury’s chocolate.
- Also there is my rum ration,
- You are very welcome to it,
- And I’ll see the Sergeant-Major,
- Get you off parade to-morrow.”
-
- Then he drew his crazy chair up,
- Lit his pipe and stretched his legs out,
- Heaved a sigh of great contentment,
- Gazed into the flames in silence,
- Dreaming of his green-eyed Phyllis,
- And of Murray’s where he met her,
- Dreaming of his loved St. James’s,
- So forgot the war a little.
-
- Tiadatha’d learnt the lesson
- Which is learnt by every traveller,
- That wherever you may wander
- You should never be uncomfy
- Any longer than you’ve got to,
- Never play the Spartan hero
- When there isn’t any need to.
- If you set your mind upon it,
- You can always coax some comfort
- Out of life and barren hillsides,
- Coax it as you’d coax a fiver
- From a very mean old uncle.
-
- MELIDEN, N. WALES,
- _March 1918_.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII
-
-TIADATHA’S BATTLE
-
-
- Many stunts did Tiadatha
- In the line in front of Doiran.
- He would often go patrolling
- Right up to the Bulgar trenches;
- Sometimes he would bring a board back
- With a Bulgar notice on it
- Asking him and all the Dudshires
- To surrender and be matey.
- Down the steep Patte d’Oie he stumbled,
- Up and down the winding Jumeaux,
- Drawing bombs from Bulgar sentries,
- Drawing everlasting star-shells;
- He would take a Lewis gun out,
- Strafe a post or working party,
- Raid a trench of Johnny Bulgar’s,
- Blow up several concrete dug-outs,
- Bring some prisoners home to breakfast.
- Every day the German gunners
- Shelled his line with crumps and shrapnel,
- And for months the Royal Dudshires
- Never moved behind their field-guns.
-
- Winter passed with mud and blizzards,
- Spring-time brought the sun and flowers,
- Also rumours of advancing,
- Rumours of attacks in earnest.
- Tiadatha heard the story
- From his batman, who had got it
- Off the driver of a lorry,
- Who had gleaned it from a waiter
- In a Salonica café.
-
- There were mighty preparations,
- Practising attacks and what not;
- Guns sprang up in every corner,
- Sprang up in the night like mushrooms.
- Dumps like lucky dips were dotted
- In most unexpected places,
- Carefully covered with tarpaulins,
- Camouflaged with leaves and branches;
- Airmen all day long were busy
- Taking photographs of trenches,
- And the Staff wrote reams of orders,
- Reams and reams and reams of orders,
- And some more when those were finished.
-
- On the days before the battle
- All the British guns were firing,
- Cutting wire and pounding trenches
- And O.P.s and gun emplacements;
- Earth and stones went splashing skywards,
- Just as water in a river
- Splashes when you throw a rock in.
-
- Four days long the guns had thundered,
- When one starlit April evening
- Came the Dudshires’ mighty battle.
- Not a man in all the Dudshires,
- None who lived to see the daylight,
- Ever could forget that evening,
- Least of all my Tiadatha.
-
- Very clear it was and starlight,
- And a nightingale was singing
- Somewhere in among the bushes;
- Many of the soldiers heard it
- In the little lulls of firing,
- Heard its silver notes go throbbing
- Out into the April evening.
-
- Watch on wrist stood Tiadatha,
- Gazing anxious at the minutes
- As the starting time came nearer.
- He was clad in Tommy’s tunic,
- Tommy’s breeches and equipment,
- In his hands he bore a rifle,
- On his head a shrapnel helmet.
- Then at last he gave the signal,
- And his men filed out behind him.
- Through the gaps they wound like serpents,
- Into No Man’s Land they sallied,
- Through the din of bursting shrapnel,
- Through the bursting high explosives.
- Down the steep Patte d’Oie he led them,
- Down that steep and rocky gully,
- Rocky as a Cornish headland,
- Steeper than a traveller’s story:
- There the dread trench mortar barrage
- Swept upon them like a hailstorm,
- Storm with stones as big as footballs,
- Stones alive with death and torture.
- Through that blinding storm he led them,
- Up the farther side he led them—
- All that were not killed or wounded.
- There upon the flashing hillside
- Tiadatha crouched and waited,
- Waited for the Zero hour,
- When the barrage would be lengthened,
- Lifted from the front line trenches.
-
- As the moment came he leapt up,
- Gave a shout to all the Dudshires,
- And the Dudshires rose and followed,
- Charged beside my Tiadatha—
- All who were not killed or wounded.
- Through the broken wire they scrambled,
- Some men cursing, some men shouting,
- Some men muttering little prayers,
- Some in grim and deadly silence.
-
- They were met by bombs and bullets,
- Heard the Bulgars in their trenches,
- Heard them crying: “Come on, Johnny,
- Come on, come on, English Johnny.”
- And three times the Royal Dudshires
- Swept upon the Bulgar trenches,
- Every time the line was thinner,
- Every time its heart was steadfast.
- And the third time Tiadatha,
- With a little band behind him,
- Leapt into the battered trenches,
- Got to work with bomb and bayonet,
- In his heart the lust of battle;
- Then felt something hit his shoulder,
- Felt his shoulder wet and burning,
- Found he’d stopped a shrapnel bullet,
- Set his teeth and staggered onwards,
- Led his party round a traverse,
- Bombed a dug-out full of Bulgars,
- Bombed until his bombs were finished,
- Carried on with German stink-bombs
- That the Bulgar’d left behind him.
-
- On and on the little party
- Pushed along the Bulgar trenches,
- Till there came a deadly sickness
- Stealing over Tiadatha,
- And he knew his strength was failing,
- Knew that he could get no farther,
- So he shouted to his corporal,
- “Take them on and do your damnedest.”
- Flopped down in the trench and fainted.
-
- Then came Woggs, the soldier servant,
- Trusty Woggs, the ever-ready,
- And produced a flask of brandy,
- Poured it down my Tiadatha.
- “Curse you, Woggs,” said Tiadatha,
- “Go on with your section leader.
- Every man of you’ll be wanted,
- I’ll crawl back and get my wound dressed,
- Then I’ll come again and find you.”
-
- Painfully and very slowly,
- Somehow Tiadatha stumbled
- Back towards the dressing station,
- Back through crumps and bursting shrapnel,
- Met two crawling wounded privates,
- And they helped and helped each other,
- Till at last my Tiadatha
- Found himself upon a stretcher
- In the crowded dressing station.
- There they tended him and dressed him,
- ’Midst the groaning of the wounded,
- ’Midst the raving of the battle,
- And the padre, bending over,
- Murmured, “Well done, Tiadatha,
- Anything that I can get you?”
- And my Tiadatha answered,
- Smiling through his pain he answered,
- “All I want’s some beer, old Padre,
- Just one bottle very quickly.”
-
- * * * * *
-
- Had you been there when the dawn broke,
- Had you looked from out the trenches,
- You’d have seen that Serbian hillside,
- Seen the aftermath of battle.
- Seen the scattered picks and shovels,
- Seen the scraps of stray equipment.
- Here and there a lonely rifle,
- Or a Lewis gun all twisted.
- Seen the little heaps of khaki
- Lying huddled on the hillside,
- Huddled by the Bulgar trenches
- Very still and very silent,
- Nothing stirring, nothing moving,
- Save a very gallant doctor
- And his band of stretcher bearers
- Working fearless in the open,
- Giving water to the dying,
- Bringing in those broken soldiers.
- You’d have seen the sunlight streaming,
- And perhaps you would have wondered
- How the sun could still be shining,
- How the birds could still be singing,
- While so many British soldiers
- Lay so still upon the hillside.
-
- EATON HALL, CHESTER,
- _May 1918_.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIII
-
-TIADATHA IN HOSPITAL
-
-
- Soon my wounded Tiadatha
- Carefully labelled like a parcel
- Started on his journey Baseward,
- Fared upon that fearful journey,
- Burning head and aching shoulder,
- Fared upon a swaying _dhuli_
- In an ambulance that shook him
- As you shake a medicine bottle,
- Seemed to shake his very soul out.
- Rocking like a tiny dinghy
- When a choppy sea is running.
- One night in the Clearing Station,
- Then by train to Salonica;
- And throughout that weary journey,
- In F.A. or Clearing Station,
- Came those everlasting questions
- Very dear to all the Ram Corps:
- “Unit, age and length of service?”
- “Rank and Christian name?” and what not,
- Till it seemed to Tiadatha
- That the whole Ram Corps was round him,
- Armed with note-books, armed with pencils,
- Perching everywhere about him,
- Sometimes perching on his tummy,
- Often climbing up the tent poles,
- Thirsting for these silly details,
- Reeling off these silly questions,
- “Unit, rank and length of service?”
- “Colour of your mother’s eyebrows?”
- “Christian names of all your sisters?”
- “Age of all your aunts and uncles?”
- So it seemed to Tiadatha,
- To my fevered Tiadatha,
- Till he dropped to sleep and left them,
- Those tormentors and their questions,
- Left them as a railway carriage,
- Gliding gently from the station,
- Leaves the crowd upon the platform.
-
- But at last the journey ended,
- Tiadatha came to anchor
- In a bed with snowy pillows,
- Bed with snowy sheets and pillows
- Cool and sweet as flowing water,
- Soothing as a summer’s evening,
- Comforting as cherry brandy
- On a chilly winter morning.
- He was tended by a sister,
- Soft of voice and very gentle,
- And she seemed to Tiadatha,
- After all those months of warfare,
- Like a little glimpse of England,
- Made him think of English roses,
- English lanes and English gardens;
- And he looked at her and loved her,
- Wondered vaguely what her name was,
- If she ever lost her temper,
- How she kept her hands so lovely,
- How on earth she put her cap on.
-
- Soon there came a solemn conclave
- Round the bed of Tiadatha,
- Which discussed if it should send him
- To the X-Rays or the Theatre
- (Ghastly irony “the Theatre”).
- Starved him for a day and sent him
- To the operating table.
- There the luckless Tiadatha
- Felt the world go slipping from him
- Used the most appalling language,
- Knew no more till all was over,
- Came to, feeling sick and sorry,
- Found himself a mass of bandage,
- Found himself a lump of aching,
- And beheld the shrapnel bullet
- He had stopped that April evening.
- Back they took him to his pillows,
- And his gentle, soft-voiced sister
- Laid her cool hand on his forehead,
- And a peace came stealing o’er him
- As a mist steals o’er the mountains.
-
- Very soon my Tiadatha
- Got to know the faces near him,
- Got to know his brother patients;
- They exchanged some lurid details
- Of their wounds and operations,
- Finding that a touch of shrapnel
- Always makes the whole world kindred.
- And he soon got fit to grumble,
- Grouse and grumble at his diet,
- Groused that it was mostly liquid,
- Yet without a drop of whisky;
- As an exile in the tropics
- Pines to smell an English primrose,
- So poor thirsty Tiadatha
- Pined to smell a Scotch-and-Soda.
-
- Gradually came convalescence,
- Days made up of little trials,
- Days made up of little pleasures,
- Days of unaccustomed idling,
- Pleasant days of doing nothing;
- Every morning after breakfast
- He would lie back on his pillows,
- Read his _Balkan News_ in comfort,
- Spend his day in eating, sleeping,
- Killing flies and reading novels,
- Writing to his green-eyed Phyllis,
- Taking very nasty medicine,
- Listening to another’s snoring;
- And sometimes a Dudshire brother
- Came and saw him for a minute,
- Brought some scandal from the trenches,
- Did my Tiadatha’s heart good.
-
- Then at last there came a morning
- When his smiling sister told him,
- “Yes, you _may_ get up this morning,
- Walk about a bit this morning.”
- In his good time, Tiadatha
- Washed and shaved and got some clothes on,
- Tried to walk about a little,
- Felt as though the bones were missing
- From his knees and from his ankles,
- Tottered as a baby totters
- Staggering from chair to table,
- Called his sympathetic sister,
- Found her arm was very helpful.
-
- Slowly like a tide his strength came,
- Like a rising tide his strength came,
- Like a rising wind his spirits.
- And he sat out in the sunshine,
- Pottered round the wards and compounds
- Chatting to a wounded Tommy,
- Chatting to a Dudshire brother,
- Wrote more letters, read more novels,
- Played the gramophone for ages,
- Played a game of bridge and poker,
- Went for picnics with his sister,
- Sometimes by the sandy seashore,
- Sometimes on a shady hillside,
- Recking little of the matron.
-
- Then one afternoon the General
- Came into the ward to see him,
- Pinned a ribbon on his tunic,
- Pinned the M.C. ribbon on him,
- Saying, “Well done, Tiadatha,
- May you have long life to wear it!”
- Whereupon my Tiadatha
- Very nearly asked the General
- What on earth he’d done to get it,
- Done to earn that precious ribbon,
- Having hazy recollections
- Of that most unpleasant evening.
- But was very bucked about it,
- Sent a cable to his mother,
- Sent one to his green-eyed Phyllis,
- Held a little celebration
- At the French Club on the quiet,
- Did himself so very proudly
- That his temperature went soaring
- In the morning like a skylark.
-
- * * * * *
-
- Hospital, like work and whisky,
- Is a taste to be acquired,
- But it soon becomes a habit,
- Very soon becomes a habit.
- That was why my Tiadatha
- Felt so very loth to leave it,
- Loth to leave his bed and pillows,
- Loth to leave those kindly people,
- Cheery V.A.D.s and sisters,
- Who had fed and dressed and nursed him
- Just as if he’d been a baby;
- And his heart was very heavy,
- Fuller than a well-filled wine-glass,
- As he thought of those brave people,
- Brave as any soldier hero,
- Working through the Balkan summer,
- Working through the Balkan winter,
- Working harder far than he did,
- All for him and such as he was.
- But at last the time of parting
- Came, relentless as to-morrow,
- And a sad-faced Tiadatha
- Set off on a bumpy journey
- To the wooded slopes of Hortiach,
- Said good-bye to those good comrades,
- To those V.A.D.s and sisters,
- To those little scraps of England.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIV
-
-THE FIRE
-
-
- For a while my Tiadatha
- Rested on the slopes of Hortiach,
- Rested till he’d got his strength back.
- Then at Summer Hill he sojourned,
- Barren camp where no one lingers
- Any longer than he’s got to;
- Thence he went by easy stages
- Back to join the Royal Dudshires.
- Found them up at Karasouli,
- Found so many faces missing
- That at first his heart was lonely,
- But a few were still remaining,
- Still a few familiar faces,
- And they made him very welcome,
- With them Woggs his soldier servant.
- But although he made new comrades,
- Carried on without the old ones,
- Yet his heart was often lonely,
- Lonely for those missing faces.
-
- Thus they met another summer,
- Sweltered through another summer,
- Changing over every fortnight
- With a neighbouring battalion.
- Smol and Macukovo saw them,
- Waggon Hill and Green Hill saw them,
- Dache, “P.N.,” and Kalinova,
- And the muddy Vardar River,
- And they did a so-called rest cure
- On the side of shadeless Kirec.
-
- Then one day in blazing August
- Tiadatha pinched a week-end,
- Touched his Colonel for a week-end,
- “Just to do a bit of shopping,”
- And buzzed down to Salonica
- With his very best pal, Percy,
- Put up at the Hotel Splendide,
- Taking Woggs, the soldier servant.
-
- After tea at Uncle Floca’s,
- After tea they did some shopping,
- Bought some Mess stores from Coppola’s,
- Bought some braces from Orosdi’s
- (Selfridge’s of Salonica),
- Took some watches for repairing
- As requested by their sergeants,
- Had a shampoo and a haircut,
- Had their usual bath at Botton’s,
- Sauntered back towards the Splendide
- For their evening gin and vermouth.
-
- They were met by Woggs the batman,
- Trusty Woggs the ever-ready,
- In a state of huge excitement:
- “Please, sir, half the town’s ablaze, sir;
- Started in the Turkish Quarter,
- May be here at any moment.”
-
- “Oh, indeed,” said Tiadatha,
- Thinking very little of it,
- “Come as usual in the morning,”
- Went with Percy to the French Club
- Bent upon a pleasant evening.
-
- All things can be won by waiting,
- All things can be won by pushing,
- Even dinner at the French Club,
- Where our very generous Allies
- Let us come and eat their rations.
- There they had a special dinner,
- Percy and my Tiadatha,
- Cooked as only Frenchmen can cook,
- With some passable Veuve Clicquot,
- Drier than Macaulay’s Essays,
- Cheering as a nigger rag-time,
- Followed by some fine old brandy,
- All produced by smiling Camille,
- Now a _poilu_, late of Prince’s.
-
- Then they wandered to the Tour Blanche
- For the usual evening revel,
- Feeling very bright and merry,
- Found the doors were barred against them.
- Wandered on a little farther
- To the Leicester Lounge and Gaiety,
- Found the doors were barred against them,
- Found them housing homeless women
- With their baggage and their babies.
- “Woggs was right,” said Tiadatha,
- “True enough the town is blazing;
- This is going to be ‘some’ evening.”
-
- All the sky was glowing crimson,
- Clouds of smoke were welling upwards,
- And the sparks like golden raindrops
- Poured upon those wooden houses
- Packed like herrings in a barrel;
- And a mighty wind was blowing,
- Sweeping from the hills to seaward.
- Percy and my Tiadatha
- Dashed along the Rue Egnatia,
- Saw the fire was driving down it
- As a bore drives down a river;
- Ruthless as an angry bison,
- Hungry as a famished tiger,
- Eating up the wooden houses,
- Eating up the shops and cafés.
- Falling beams and crashing shutters,
- All were gone in half a minute,
- Swallowed by that whirling furnace.
- Soon it burnt the Provost Marshal
- Out of his expensive office,
- Soon it reached the Rue Venizelos,
- Where a fitful fire-engine
- (All that Salonica boasted)
- Played upon the flames in trickles,
- Did about as much to quench them
- As a mug of tepid water
- Does to quench the thirst of soldiers
- In a boiling Balkan summer.
- “Going some,” said Tiadatha,
- “Better hop back to the Splendide,
- Heaven and earth aren’t going to stop it.”
-
- So they raced back to the Splendide,
- Found that Woggs had packed their kits up
- Ready for a hasty exit,
- For already flames were lapping,
- Like the waves, against the Splendide.
- All along the Odos Nike
- Clouds of smoke came welling faster,
- Thicker than a fog in London,
- And a million sparks were whirling,
- And the flames were sweeping nearer.
- Coughing, choking, nearly blinded,
- Tiadatha, Woggs and Percy
- Stumbled through the smoky blackness,
- Tripping over bits of wreckage,
- Fought their way along the sea front,
- While the sparks came showering on them
- Like confetti at a wedding,
- And they got the wind up badly—
- Worse than on that April evening
- When they went for Johnny Bulgar—
- Passed the old White Tower panting,
- Reached the French Club Courtyard breathless.
-
- In the Courtyard of the French Club
- On its side an urn reposes,
- Old and huge and most capacious,
- Dug up by our gallant Allies
- From the heart of Macedonia,
- And it seemed to Tiadatha
- Just the haven that they wanted,
- So he bade Woggs dump their kits in,
- Bade him scramble in and guard them,
- Then went back to do the hero
- With a very breathless Percy.
-
- All the streets were wild confusion,
- Refugees were streaming Eastward,
- Pouring Eastward in their thousands,
- Some with loaded carts and donkeys,
- Some with gharries piled to heaven.
- Old men bleating, children screaming,
- Broken-hearted women sobbing,
- Wailing for their homes and treasures.
- All the streets were blocked and littered
- With all kinds of goods and chattels,
- Feather mattresses and tables,
- Chairs and clocks and iron bedsteads,
- Looking glasses, jugs and bundles,
- Pillows, pots and pans and pictures.
-
- Percy and my Tiadatha
- Took their stand at a street corner,
- Started running things in earnest,
- Cleared the houses of the people,
- Helped them get what things they could out,
- Made them leave the things they couldn’t.
- Chased and biffed the wandering looters,
- Kept the crowd back and the road clear,
- Got the women and the children
- On the waiting motor lorries,
- Packed them off to refugee camps;
- And their hardest job of all was
- Parting one old Turkish lady
- From the frowsty feather mattress
- That they couldn’t load up with her
- On the overflowing lorry.
- When the fire had reached their corner
- They would move on to the next one,
- Like a pair of organ grinders
- Made to move on by a footman,
- Giving ground, but giving slowly,
- Fighting out a rearguard action.
- And at every other corner
- Of the doomed and burning city
- Slaved the likes of Tiadatha,
- Officers and private soldiers,
- Fighting fire instead of Bulgars.
- Many parts they played that evening,
- Fireman, policeman, knight and coolie,
- Till their eyes were red and burning,
- Choc-a-bloc with grit and cinders,
- Till their clothes were scorched and blackened,
- Till their heads and feet and backs ached.
- And that night my Tiadatha
- Saw some sights not good to look on.
- Many thousand hearts were broken,
- Many thousand people homeless.
-
- As the night wore on a damsel,
- Tearful and quite unattractive,
- Came beseeching Tiadatha,
- Begged and prayed him come and help her,
- Help her save some cherished treasures.
- Up some burning stairs she led them
- (Having roped in Percy also),
- Pointed to a clock and mirror,
- Hideous both and very heavy.
- Quick as lightning Tiadatha
- Pounced upon the gilt-framed mirror
- (Since it looked a little lighter),
- Left the massive clock for Percy;
- Down the stairs they crashed together,
- In their arms these precious treasures
- Of this unattractive damsel.
- Out into the street they lugged them,
- Put them down upon the pavement,
- But she begged and prayed them follow
- Whither she had left her mother
- And the rest of her belongings.
- So they left their job and followed,
- Followed like Quixotic idiots,
- Staggered with the clock and mirror,
- Which became extremely heavy;
- Through the burning streets they tottered,
- Past the weeping homeless outcasts,
- With the things upon their shoulders;
- Humped them till their backs were breaking,
- Till at last their souls revolted.
- “Finish, Mademoiselle,” said Percy,
- Firm, though quite polite about it,
- “Not another yard,” said Percy,
- “Not a step,” said Tiadatha.
- “_Pas loin d’ici_,” sobbed the maiden,
- Wept the unattractive damsel,
- “Only just a little farther,
- Just a very little farther.”
- On they went like two knight-errants
- Out to serve their lovely lady,
- Till they reached the bit of garden
- That surrounds the old White Tower.
- There they found the maiden’s mother,
- Found her doddering old father,
- Felt most awfully sorry for them,
- Sorry they could do so little;
- Sheepishly received their blessing,
- Dumped the clock and dumped the mirror,
- Feeling very much like Sinbad
- When at last he’d dumped the old man
- Who had ridden on his shoulders.
- “Nearly five,” said Tiadatha,
- “And the dawn will soon be breaking.
- Percy, I am sick and weary,
- And my eyes are full of cinders,
- And my tongue as dry as Aden—
- What about a rest, old sportsman?”
- As he spoke he cast about him
- For a haven, for a refuge,
- Spied a T.B. in the harbour,
- Hailed the captain through the darkness.
- Came the answer through the darkness,
- “Come aboard and have some whisky,
- Come aboard, I’ll send a boat off.”
-
- Percy and my Tiadatha
- Soon were settled in the T.B.,
- Drank the Captain’s old Scotch whisky,
- Munched his sandwiches and biscuits,
- Murmured as they drank together,
- “When in trouble, try the Navy,
- Bless their souls, the British Navy!”
- Then they watched the fire raging,
- Watched it burning from the harbour,
- Tossing like a fiery ocean;
- Watched the shops and cafés blazing
- All along the stricken sea-front,
- Watched a flame that leapt to Heaven
- Writhing like a dancing Dervish,
- Watched a minaret uprising
- White against the molten background,
- And bethought them of the watches
- They had taken for repairing,
- Made some rueful calculations
- Of the cost of seven new ones.
-
- As the dawn came, Tiadatha,
- Cheered to see the M.T. engine
- Save the English Quay from ruin,
- Gazed on ravaged Salonica
- With its blackened, gutted buildings,
- Thought of cheery times he’d spent there,
- Thought of many noisy evenings,
- Murmured “No more teas at Floca’s,
- No more shopping at Orosdi’s,
- No more dinners at the Splendide,
- No more revels at the Odéon.”
- Murmured “Poor old Salonica,
- Dear old dirty Salonica,
- Salonica, finish Johnny.”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XV
-
-SNEVCE WAY
-
-
- Some days after Salonica
- Had been burnt and devastated,
- Tiadatha and the Dudshires
- Trekked across the hills to Snevce,
- To the Doya Tepe sector.
- Settled in Popovo village
- In the ruins of Surlovo,
- Giving thanks to the Italians
- For the huts they’d left behind them,
- Huts with well-planked walls and ceilings,
- Roofed with red tiles from the village,
- Fitted out with chairs and tables,
- Beds and doors and real glass windows.
- Very restful, very soothing,
- After the eternal sandbags
- And the corrugated iron
- Of the dug-outs they’d been used to—
- Just like moving to the Carlton
- Out of rather third-rate lodgings.
-
- Very soon my Tiadatha,
- Now become a swanking captain,
- Found the Doya Tepe sector
- Was indeed the silver lining
- To the cloud of Macedonia,
- And one clear September morning,
- On a hill above Popovo,
- High above Popovo village,
- Gazed upon the scene before him,
- Thought it very good to look on.
-
- Down below along the foothills,
- Ran the line of Dudshire trenches,
- And the wire wound like a ribbon,
- Like a long brown crinkled ribbon,
- Up and down the wooded hillsides,
- Up and down the wooded gullies.
- There was blue smoke curling upwards
- From a company headquarters,
- And he saw some soldiers bathing
- In a pool beside the village—
- From below the voices reached him,
- Clear as bells their voices reached him
- In the honey-coloured sunshine.
- And beyond the line of trenches,
- Just beyond the wooded foothills
- Lay the smiling open valley,
- Varied as a landscape target,
- Threaded by the Hodza Suju,
- By the sandy Hodza river,
- Bright as mackerel in the sunshine,
- Brighter than a string of opals;
- White against the emerald background,
- Ruined villages were dotted
- With their vineyards and their orchards:
- Brest and Nikolic and Palmis,
- Bulamac and Akindzali.
- There were woods and shady copses
- And a line of tidy poplars,
- Here a mill with tangled creepers,
- There a disused Turkish fountain,
- And the long straight line of railway,
- With a few old trucks upon it,
- Where in happier days the trains ran
- Up and down the Struma valley,
- To and from Constantinople.
-
- And five miles across the valley
- Rose the Belashitza Mountains,
- Rose the Beles grim and lofty,
- Mighty boundary of Bulgaria.
- And below along the foothills
- Ran the trenches of the Bulgar,
- While a little to the westward
- Lay the great round Lake of Doiran,
- Gleaming like a polished mirror.
-
- It was very fair to look on,
- Fair to gaze on from a distance,
- Yet it struck a note of sadness
- In the heart of Tiadatha.
- Not a head of sheep or cattle
- In that green and pleasant valley,
- Not a single vineyard tended,
- Not a single orchard tended,
- Not a sign of habitation
- In a single battered village,
- Save sometimes the smoke uprising
- From the cookhouse of an outpost.
- Yet the scene was fair to look on,
- Very like a landscape target,
- And the Generals when they saw it
- Crowed with joy and beamed with pleasure—
- “What a place for open warfare,
- What a place for raids!” they chirruped,
- Safely perched upon the hill-tops.
-
- Tiadatha sat and pondered,
- Pondered long upon the hillside,
- Heaved a sigh of satisfaction
- When he thought that he was sitting
- Well in view of all the Bulgars,
- Knowing that they could not reach him
- With their field-guns on the Beles.
-
- As for fourteen months the Dudshires
- Hadn’t moved behind their field-guns
- Save for concentrated training,
- They were charmed with Doya Tepe,
- Found it like the open country
- After being in a tunnel.
- Quite a pleasant spot for warfare,
- Really rather like the Picnic,
- Like the Salonica Picnic,
- They had read of in the papers.
-
- Still they had their job of watching,
- Watching for a raiding party,
- Guarding all their miles of frontage,
- Every night on sentry duty
- Or patrolling in the valley,
- Digging trenches in the daytime,
- Or fatigues and wiring parties.
- But the crumps were far less frequent
- And the gunners far less busy,
- And it really was a blessing
- To walk upright in the open,
- Caring not for pipsqueak merchants,
- Caring not for hidden snipers.
-
- Sometimes Captain Tiadatha
- Rode along his front line trenches,
- Spent a useful morning shooting
- Half a mile beyond the trenches,
- Brought down several brace of partridge
- And a hare or two for dinner.
- Soon too he became acquainted
- With the small hotel at Snevce
- (Foremost pub in Macedonia),
- Where the food was quite delightful
- And the liquor even better;
- Where he spent some pleasant evenings
- Very cheery, noisy evenings,
- With a band of rowdy cronies
- From his own and other units.
- Soon he found his way to Kukus
- (Having made some generous allies
- Who owned kite balloons and tenders),
- To that quaint and dirty village,
- Rising phœnix-like from ruins,
- Learnt the Greek for eggs was _avga_,
- Haggled with the Kukus robbers
- For a melon or a cabbage,
- Or an oke of tomatoes,
- Bought some mats or bits of copper.
- Watched the local comitadji,
- With their lady wives and daughters,
- In the glory of their war-paint,
- In their native Balkan costume,
- All the colours of the rainbow,
- Riding in upon their donkeys,
- On their clumsy bullock wagons,
- Bringing in their goods to market.
-
- Thus the summer slipped to autumn,
- Thus the autumn turned to winter,
- And the winter found the Dudshires
- Still in Doya Tepe sector.
- And their days rolled on as usual,
- Varied by a free excursion,
- By a morning raiding party,
- To “maintain offensive spirit.”
- And they got up sports and concerts,
- Keeping for the most part cheerful;
- Yet for all their songs and laughter,
- In each heart there lay a shadow,
- And in mess and hut and cookhouse,
- In the transport lines and trenches,
- Talk turned ever on one topic—
- When they’d get their leave to Blighty,
- How they’d spend it when they got it.
- And they passed the weary weeks by,
- Officers and private soldiers,
- Sighing for the leave they wanted,
- Leave that was so long in coming,
- Sighing that it came no nearer.
- Day and night they talked about it,
- Had one theme of conversation,
- And that solitary topic
- Ran through all their conversation,
- Like a pattern through a fabric,
- A _leit motif_ through an opera—
- When they’d get their leave to Blighty,
- How they’d spend their leave to Blighty.
-
- CHESTER,
- _July 1918_.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVI
-
-A STUNT AT DAWN
-
-
- In the month of bleak November
- Said the Colonel of the Dudshires,
- Heart athirst for blood and battle,
- “We must have another outing,
- Do another stunt one morning,
- Raid that wood across the valley,
- Twist the Bulgars’ tails a little,
- Bring some prisoners back to breakfast.”
-
- Picture then my Tiadatha
- Sitting in his draughty dug-out
- At one-thirty in the morning,
- Gulping tea and crunching bacon
- In an effort at a breakfast;
- Picture him in Tommy’s tunic,
- Very oldest boots and breeches,
- Girt with rifle and equipment
- Kindly lent him for the occasion
- By his Quartermaster-Sergeant,
- Feeling rather apprehensive,
- Feeling very far from happy,
- As he’d often felt on Sports days
- Ere he’d started for the hurdles.
-
- To the fountain in the village,
- In the little ruined village,
- Came the Dudshire raiding party
- And assembled in the starlight.
- Through the wire they wound in silence
- Like a mighty caterpillar
- (Silent save for Tiadatha
- Strafing someone else for talking),
- Bayonets gleaming in the starlight,
- Water-bottles gurgling softly
- As they clumped along the pathway,
- Clumped along towards Hodza River;
- At the ford they crossed the river
- Splashing like a hippo bathing,
- Gasping as it reached their tummies;
- But it did not damp their ardour,
- Damped their feet but not their ardour,
- And they staggered on in silence
- Now well into Bulgar country.
-
- As they skirted round an outpost
- Tiadatha’s heart grew fearful
- Of inevitable star-shells,
- Véry lights that seemed as certain
- As a howl is from a baby
- When he wakes up in the night-time:
- Felt his heart go pitter-patter,
- Knowing well how all depended
- On their getting past unnoticed;
- But because a gale was blowing,
- Or because the group was dreaming
- Of its fairies in Sofia,
- Not a sound came from the outpost,
- Not a rifle shot nor star-shell
- While the vanguard of the Dudshires
- Led the party through the darkness
- As a tug escorts a liner.
-
- Drawing near their dim objective
- In the greyness of the morning,
- They deployed and at the signal,
- At the order of their Colonel,
- Charged upon the Bulgar stronghold
- As the pearly dawn was breaking.
-
- ’Twould have made your heart beat faster,
- ’Twould have set your blood a-tingle,
- Had you seen the Royal Dudshires,
- Seen that line of gallant Dudshires,
- Shake itself and charge like soldiers,
- Go bald-headed for the Bulgars.
- Had you heard the Dudshires yelling
- Loud as rooters at a ball game
- When they charged across the open,
- In their hearts that funny feeling,
- Only brought about by three things—
- Love or rum or lust of battle.
-
- And by this time Johnny Bulgar
- Was awake and taking notice,
- Sitting up and taking notice,
- Potting at the charging Dudshires
- As they came across the open.
- From behind the trees they potted,
- Potted from behind the bushes,
- Made the puddles look like fountains
- In the greyness of the morning.
- But the Dudshires, nothing daunted,
- Kept their line and never wavered,
- At their head my Tiadatha.
- Closer still they came and closer
- Till the Bulgars saw their bayonets
- Gleaming silver in the morning,
- Found that they could wait no longer,
- Through the wood they turned and legged it,
- On their heels the panting Dudshires
- Led by breathless Tiadatha.
-
- You’d have cheered your very soul out
- Had you spotted Tiadatha
- Rounding up a band of prisoners,
- Setting off with Woggs his batman
- On a separate expedition
- After one more pet of Ferdie’s
- Who was hurriedly departing.
- Hard and fast he chased that Bulgar,
- Vainly loosing off his rifle
- (Finding that it wasn’t loaded),
- Vainly trying to remember
- What “Surrender” was in Bulgar.
- Wind was weak though spirit willing
- And he never caught his quarry,
- For in spite of his equipment,
- Fancy boots and overcoating,
- Johnny legged it like a good ’un,
- Faster than a fighting woodcock,
- Swifter than a homing pigeon,
- Leaving Woggs and Tiadatha
- Cursing loudly in the distance,
- With the slender consolation
- That they’d bagged a Bulgar rifle
- As memento of the picnic.
-
- Thus they got their job of work done,
- Cleared the wood of Johnny Bulgar,
- Picked up all he’d left behind him,
- Even to his bits of breakfast,
- And beheld with satisfaction
- (Crumps were getting rather busy)
- Three red lights go soaring upwards,
- Signal for them all to hop it.
-
- Then without unseemly hurry,
- Turkish cigarette in one hand
- And a biscuit in the other,
- Having passed his irksome rifle
- On to Woggs the ever-suffering,
- Tiadatha led his party
- Back across the open country,
- Led them back across the river
- While the zealous German gunners
- Sprinkled all the plain with shrapnel,
- Heaved a pious thanks to get them
- Back into the lines of safety.
- Back in safety with their tails up,
- Spent a pleasant twenty minutes
- Watching prisoner birds arriving,
- Dribbling back in pairs and bunches.
- One especially he noticed,
- Tunic destitute of buttons
- As a ration joint of suet
- (Gone as souvenirs to Dudshire),
- Who yet clutched a set of buttons,
- Set of universal buttons,
- Given to him as exchanges
- By his cheerful Dudshire captors.
- Pockets bulging fat with Woodbines,
- Woodbines that in Balkan trenches
- Are as scarce as lumps of sugar
- On an English breakfast table,
- Proof of Tommy’s pleasant manners
- Towards the cove he’d tried to scupper,
- Done his very best to scupper
- Early that November morning.
-
- Then my gleeful Tiadatha
- Bade Woggs go and fetch his Kodak,
- Photographed the Bulgar prisoner,
- Took him with the Sergeant-Major
- And without the Sergeant-Major,
- Cheered him up and pinched his cap badge
- As a souvenir for Phyllis,
- Gave him half a tin of bully.
- Then he made a second breakfast,
- Made a mighty second breakfast,
- Strolled into his little dug-out
- That he almost said good-bye to
- When he left it in the morning,
- Bathed and got the grime of war off,
- Laid him down and slept till evening
- As befitted a world’s worker.
-
- CHESTER,
- _July 1918_.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVII
-
-LEAVE TO ENGLAND
-
-
- On a certain winter’s morning,
- Early on in 1918,
- Tiadatha had the tidings
- Sudden as a tropic sunrise,
- Unbelievable as winning
- Something in a comic raffle,
- That he’d got his leave to England;
- And although the snow was falling
- On that Balkan winter’s morning,
- All the world seemed full of sunshine,
- All the world seemed bright and golden,
- And he felt as effervescing
- As a fizzing glass of bubbly,
- Felt as though a lovely fairy,
- Ever cold and stony-hearted,
- Finally had come and kissed him.
-
- So my joyous Tiadatha
- Made some frenzied preparations,
- Got some odds and ends together,
- Said good-bye to everybody,
- Said good-bye to Woggs his batman,
- Trusty Woggs the ever-ready,
- Wishing he was coming also,
- Wishing everyone was coming.
- Started on that blessed journey,
- On that wonderful adventure,
- “To proceed on leave to England,”
- And one grey and misty morning
- Steamed away from Salonica
- From Constantinople station
- With some other lucky blighters.
-
- And it didn’t seem to matter
- That the carriage floor was filthy,
- That the seats were void of cushions,
- That the window glass was broken.
- It was quite enough to know that
- They were leaving Salonica,
- Quaint old dirty Salonica,
- And the mud of Macedonia
- And the everlasting hillsides,
- After what seemed countless ages—
- Quite enough for Tiadatha
- To see Salonica fading,
- Growing fainter in the distance.
-
- All day long the leave train jolted,
- All night long it rocked and jolted,
- Crawling on through Greece to Bralo,
- Halting only at Larissa.
- And the R.T.O., Larissa,
- Very kind and very courteous,
- Welcomed Tiadatha’s party,
- Took them over to his billet,
- Gave them steaming tea at midnight,
- Like the whitest brand of white man.
- Then at seven in the morning
- They detrained at Bralo station,
- Bleary-eyed, unshaved and grimy.
- Went by lorry to the Rest Camp,
- Bathed and shaved and had some breakfast,
- Felt just like a piece of silver
- When it’s made to shine with Goddard’s
- After being badly tarnished.
-
- On they went from Bralo Rest Camp,
- On they went by motor lorry
- Up the road across the mountains,
- Up the road that twirled and twisted
- Like a pirouetting dancer.
- As they reached the mountain summit,
- Started downwards to Itea,
- Very lovely was the picture
- Spread before my Tiadatha.
- Rugged hills and deep-cleft valleys,
- Here and there a golden village,
- Far below, the olive gardens,
- And beyond them, blue as turquoise,
- Lay the sunny Gulf of Corinth.
- And all Tiadatha’s comrades
- Murmured “Oh, by Jove, how lovely!”
- “Take it all,” said Tiadatha,
- “Take it all and more beside it.
- I would give you every mountain,
- Every olive grove and village,
- And the whole damn Gulf of Corinth,
- For a glimpse of England’s coastline,
- For a glimpse of Piccadilly.”
-
- Soon they reached Itea village,
- Put up at the local Rest Camp,
- At the ever-present Rest Camp.
- Spent three warm and sunny days there,
- And my happy Tiadatha
- Quickly found a kindred spirit,
- Found a red tabbed gunner captain,
- Wandered with him round the village
- That lay sleepy in the sunlight,
- Yet awake to pouch the drachmae
- Of the passing British soldier.
- And they rowed out to an island,
- Lay and watched the sea for ages
- Underneath a cloudless heaven,
- With a pleasant sense of freedom,
- Sense of having slipped the handcuffs
- Of the army for a little.
- Did a bit of tripperising,
- Went to see the sights of Delphi,
- Delphi in its ancient splendour,
- In the ruins of its splendour,
- Standing high upon the hillside,
- Looking on the Gulf of Corinth.
- Wandered round and saw the Oracle,
- Wandered round and saw the Stadium,
- Where of old the Greeks ran races;
- Toed the mark and ran a hundred,
- To the wonder of some Frenchmen,
- Who were also tripperising.
-
- Then one afternoon the leave boat
- Steamed into the tiny harbour,
- And at dawn the morning after
- Bore rejoicing Tiadatha
- And his party off to Taranto.
- Every time the steamer’s screw turned,
- Every single knot she covered,
- Tiadatha felt his heart thrill,
- Felt his England drawing nearer,
- Felt St. James’s drawing nearer,
- And the things he loved so well there.
- And they dodged the lurking U-boats
- That were hanging round like footpads,
- Came to anchor at Taranto,
- In Taranto’s crowded harbour,
- Where the seaplanes skim like seagulls
- O’er the surface of the water.
- Disembarked and found the Rest Camp,
- Yet another Army Rest Camp,
- Sumptuous to Tiadatha
- After those of Macedonia,
- Which had usually consisted
- Of a dozen flapping bell tents,
- Pitched upon a windy hillside.
-
- And they found Taranto crowded,
- Crawling with expensive Generals
- Waiting for their turn with others.
- Vanished were their hopes of Rapide,
- Hopes of going on by Rapide,
- Seeing Rome and seeing Paris.
- “Never mind,” said Tiadatha,
- To the red-tabbed gunner captain,
- “Every day we hang about here,
- Every day the journey’s lengthened,
- Means a day of warfare over,
- Means the end a little nearer.”
- So they sojourned at the Rest Camp,
- Loafed about and wrote some letters,
- Patronised the bar when open,
- Quaffing Bass again with gusto,
- And at six o’clock one evening
- Started on the daily troop train,
- Started on their journey Northwards.
-
- Very wisely Tiadatha
- And his friend the gunner captain
- Went and bagged a carriage early,
- Went and bagged a first-class carriage
- That had still some cushions in it
- And some glass left in the windows,
- Chalked up “Captain Tiadatha
- And three officers” upon it,
- Got two merchants who were going
- One night only on the journey,
- After which they shared the carriage
- Tiadatha and the gunner.
-
- Early every day they halted,
- Washed in buckets by the trainside,
- Shaved and strolled about a little,
- Sometimes snatched a hurried breakfast
- At the buffet of a station.
- Spent the long, long days in reading,
- Pulling mutual friends to pieces,
- Talking over raids and battles,
- Talking over all their leave plans,
- Ate their very sketchy luncheons,
- Ate their very uncouth dinners,
- Cleaned their plates with bits of paper,
- Cleaned their knives and forks with paper,
- Living in acute discomfort,
- Pigging as they’d seldom pigged it,
- Turning out sometimes at Rest Camps
- Just to stretch their legs a little,
- Have a bath and get some dinner.
- Every night they got a fug up,
- Got a most uncommon fug up,
- Boarded up the broken windows,
- Lighted quite a dozen candles.
- All along the rack they stuck them,
- Stuck them on the greasy arm-rests,
- Got the carriage warm and cosy,
- Then unrolled their fat valises,
- Slept beneath a pile of blankets
- Soundly as a pair of kittens.
- Thus nine days and nights they travelled,
- All through Italy they travelled,
- Found at Havre their troopship waiting,
- Sailed at dusk upon the troopship,
- Sailed all night without adventure.
-
- As the dawn broke Tiadatha
- Saw the coast of England rising
- Through the misty winter’s morning,
- Felt his heart go beating wildly
- As when lover meets his mistress,
- Longed to kiss his lovely England,
- Take her in his arms and kiss her,
- As a son might kiss his mother.
- Got ashore and humped his kit off,
- Then went streaking up to London
- Making for his loved St. James’s.
-
- B.E.F., FRANCE,
- _August 1918_.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVIII
-
-HOME AT LAST
-
-
- Waterloo the same as ever
- With its old familiar noises,
- Hustle, bustle and excitement,
- Hurrying feet and anxious faces,
- People staggering with parcels,
- People pushing for their luggage,
- And the whistling of the engines,
- And the rattling of the milk cans,
- And the shouting of the newsboys—
- Thus it greeted Tiadatha
- Very much the same as ever,
- Though he found a dearth of porters,
- Found it hard to get a porter,
- Harder still to get a taxi.
-
- Who can tell of that first journey,
- That first taxi drive in London,
- Of the exile from the trenches,
- Of the wanderer returning—
- Almost every street and building
- Bringing back a recollection
- Like a long-forgotten perfume?
-
- As a soldier to the canteen
- After his parade is over,
- Even so sped Tiadatha
- Straightway to his club in Pall Mall.
- And the porter in the hallway,
- White and very old retainer,
- Imperturbable as marble,
- Changeless as a ration biscuit,
- Gave his usual morning greeting
- Just as if it were but two days
- Since he’d seen my Tiadatha,
- Not two weary years and over.
- And it seemed to Tiadatha
- That somehow the porter’s greeting
- Bridged those weary years of exile,
- Helped him pick the threads of life up,
- Feel he’d been away but two days
- Not two weary years and over.
-
- After lunch he doffed his khaki,
- Dived into a suit of mufti,
- Felt his leave had really started
- As he sauntered to St. James’s,
- Bound for Jermyn Street and Hammam’s.
- Had a Turkish bath at Hammam’s,
- Came out feeling clean and happy,
- Spotless as a British cruiser
- On a sunny Sunday morning,
- Fresh as any London pavement
- After summer rains have washed it,
- Hair well brushed and very sleeky.
- Hat at just the proper angle,
- Suit of grey and gloves of buckskin,
- Socks as soothing as a moonbeam,
- And a tie of Dudshire colours.
-
- And the sights and smells of London
- All seemed good to Tiadatha,
- Every shop he saw allured him,
- Every face he passed was lovely.
- So he wandered for a little
- And inhaled his well-loved London,
- Let it steal upon his senses
- As a Chinaman with hashish.
- “Life again” thought Tiadatha,
- Rumpelmeyer’s instead of Floca’s,
- Hammam’s baths instead of Botton’s,
- And the Club instead of Rest Camps.
- For three little weeks I’ve got them,
- Swapped the Skating Rink for Murray’s
- Swapped the Tour Blanche for the Empire.
- Swapped the Luxe Hotel for Carlton,
- And the shops of Rue Egnatia
- For the Burlington and Bond Street,
- And old Salonica’s cobbles
- For the pavement of St. James’s.
-
- Then he hied him to his tailor
- (Who was very pleased to see him),
- Tried on slacks and tried on tunics
- And a pair of wondrous breeches,
- And a pleasant suit of mufti
- That were ready waiting for him.
- Then to Mr. Wing he hastened,
- Mr. Wing of Piccadilly
- (Who was just as pleased to see him),
- Rioted in ties and hankies,
- Shirts and gloves and silk pyjamas,
- Socks of many shades and colours,
- Put the whole lot down to Father,
- Recking little of the future.
-
- After that he hailed a taxi,
- Bade the driver make for Sloane Street
- And the home of green-eyed Phyllis;
- Found his heart was beating faster
- Than a Lewis gun in action
- As he knocked upon the front door.
-
- She was still the same as ever,
- Tiadatha’s green-eyed Phyllis,
- Still as sweet and slim and slender,
- Slim and slender as his sword was.
- And her eyes were still like April,
- Green and grey as days in April,
- And her mouth still curved like roses,
- And her smile was still like sunshine
- Playing on the Thames at Chelsea
- Early on a summer morning.
- Still the same yet somehow different,
- Somehow deeper, somehow truer,
- Tested by those years of waiting,
- By those two long years of waiting,
- Less of girl and more of woman,
- And her eyes were very tender
- As she kissed my Tiadatha.
-
- And that night they dined at Prince’s,
- Tiadatha very happy
- Sitting at his wonted table
- In black tie and dinner jacket,
- Gleaming shirt and glossy collar;
- Phyllis radiant, very lovely,
- In a frock of grey and silver,
- Soft and clinging as a shadow,
- Pearly as the mists of morning,
- Touched with violet like a sunrise
- (Who am I to tell you of it?)
- With some tiny silver tassels
- Hanging down like shafts of moonlight.
- And her eyes like stars were shining,
- Like stars on a frosty evening,
- As she talked to Tiadatha.
-
- And the glinting dinner table
- And the shaded lights and music,
- And the buzz of conversation
- Of the gay and laughing people
- Were like wine to Tiadatha.
- And he raised his glass of bubbly
- Looking towards his green-eyed Phyllis.
- “Here’s a toast,” quoth Tiadatha,
- “Here’s to the two things I love most—
- London Town in peace and war time,
- Coupled with the name of Phyllis.
- This is better than the Splendide,
- This is better than the French Club,
- Better than a farewell dinner
- In a dug-out in the trenches,
- London Town in peace and war time,
- Nothing in the world to touch you—
- Damn the air-raids, damn the coupons,
- Damn the lack of meat and sugar.
- Two long years I’ve waited for you,
- After two long years I’ve got you,
- London and my green-eyed Phyllis.”
-
- So they lingered over dinner
- As a lover reads a letter
- Lest the end should come too quickly.
- Then he bore her to the Gaiety,
- And the joyous Tiadatha
- In his comfy green stall nestling,
- Hooted with infectious laughter
- Like a schoolboy at a panto,
- Clapped the songs and jokes and dances
- As he’d never done in peace time.
- Happy still when it was over,
- Thinking of the dance and Murray’s—
- Sped there in a wangled taxi,
- All too soon fetched up at Murray’s.
- Murray’s just the same as ever,
- Murray’s with the same old fug up,
- Like an aggravated hothouse,
- Just the same appalling prices
- For a jug of Murray’s Mixture.
- Many well-remembered faces
- Round the little close-packed tables
- With their many-coloured night-lights.
- Same old floor that gleamed like honey,
- Same old priceless band of niggers
- Playing rag-time, playing fox-trots
- As no other band could play them.
-
- And they danced and danced together,
- Phyllis and my Tiadatha,
- As upon that summer evening
- When at first they met each other—
- Till the nigger band departed,
- Till the waiters all grew restive,
- Phyllis danced with Tiadatha.
-
- Happy days are short as kisses
- Snatched when someone else is coming,
- Happy days end always quickly
- But in war time even quicker
- Than they used to do in peace time.
- Bitterly my Tiadatha
- Cursed the fate that sent him homewards
- Ere the pearly dawn was breaking,
- Ere the workmen’s trains were running.
- But he knew Fate is remorseless,
- Knew that Dora is remorseless
- As the chucker out at Murray’s.
- So by dint of shoving, pushing,
- Begging, bribing and cajoling,
- He induced a taxi-driver,
- Most elusive, very lordly,
- To unbend enough to take them
- (At a price) as far as Sloane Street.
-
- In that hard-won London taxi,
- Speeding down dim Piccadilly
- On its way to darkened Sloane Street
- I will leave my Tiadatha
- On his first sweet night in England—
- Leave him feeling very happy,
- Drugged with a divine contentment,
- Feeling life was paying interest
- On the days he had invested
- In those dreary Balkan trenches.
- Leave him with the things he’d ached for
- In those two long years of exile,
- Leave him to his well-loved London
- And the arms of green-eyed Phyllis.
-
- * * * * *
-
- Should you question, should you ask me
- What became of Tiadatha;
- Ask me if he married Phyllis,
- If he found another fairy,
- Found one even more alluring,
- Eyes of brown or blue or violet;
- If he sailed for Salonica
- Still an unrepentant bachelor;
- Should you ask me of his doings
- After those three weeks were ended,
- One mad rush and wild excitement;
- If he got a cushy staff job
- With a lot of tabs about it,
- Or if he became a major
- Or the Colonel of the Dudshires,
- I should make reply and answer—
- “Who am I that I should tell you?
- I have brought my Tiadatha
- Back again to where he started
- (Just as if he had been travelling
- On a kind of Inner Circle),
- Safe and sound and still light-hearted,
- Still the same yet somehow different.
- You remember how I found him
- In July of 1914
- Toying with his devilled kidneys
- At his little flat in Duke Street;
- Very tired and very nut-like,
- What we used to call a “filbert.”
- I have told you of his training,
- I have told you of his troubles,
- Of his trials and his travels,
- Of some happenings that befell him.
- I have tried to picture to you
- How he lived and laughed and battled
- Out in France and Salonica,
- How he changed from nut to soldier
- As a sword is tried and tempered
- When it passes through the furnace,
- How he learnt (with many like him)
- Something of the things that matter,
- Life and Death and high endeavour.
- How he learnt (with many like him)
- That you cannot love your country
- Till you’ve left it far behind you
- (Just as no one loved his sugar
- Till the beastly stuff was rationed);
- That you cannot know its pleasures,
- Cannot love its charms and comforts,
- Till you’ve sampled several others.
-
- “In this war the Hun has brought us,
- Some have learnt to make returns out,
- Some have learnt to write out orders.
- Some have learnt the way to kill Huns,
- Some to lead the men that kill them,
- Some have learnt to cope with bully,
- Learnt to shave with army razors,
- Learnt to make the best of blizzards,
- Mud and slush and blazing sunshine,
- Learnt to coax a little comfort
- Out of bivvies, barns and dug-outs,
- Learnt of things they never dreamed of
- In July of 1914.
-
- “And they all have learnt this lesson,
- Learnt as well this common lesson,
- Learnt to hold a little dearer
- All the things they took for granted
- In July of 1914—
- Whether it be Scottish Highlands,
- Hills of Wales or banks of Ireland,
- Or the swelling downs of Dudshire,
- Or the pavement of St. James’s—
- Even so my Tiadatha.
-
- “So I leave him and salute him
- Back in his beloved London,
- Knowing that the war has one thing
- (If no others) to its credit—
- It has made a nut a soldier,
- Made a silk purse from a sow’s ear,
- Made a man of Tiadatha
- And made men of hundreds like him.
-
- “And the world has cause to thank us
- For that band of so-called filberts,
- For those products of St. James’s,
- Light of heart and much enduring,
- Straight and debonair and dauntless,
- Grousing at their small discomforts,
- Smiling in the face of danger.
- Who have faced their great adventure,
- Crossed through No Man’s Land to meet it,
- Lightly as they’d cross St. James’s.
- Eyes and heart still full of laughter,
- Till the world had cause to wonder,
- Till the world had cause to thank us
- For the likes of Tiadatha.”
-
- CENDRESSELLES,
- _September 1918_.
-
-
-THE END
-
- _Printed in Great Britain by_
- UNWIN BROTHERS, LIMITED, THE GRESHAM PRESS, WOKING AND LONDON
-
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