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diff --git a/old/67501-0.txt b/old/67501-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index f9734ac..0000000 --- a/old/67501-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,874 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Adolescence, by Stephen Paget - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Adolescence - -Author: Stephen Paget - -Release Date: February 25, 2022 [eBook #67501] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Charlene Taylor, Donald Cummings and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was - produced from images generously made available by The - Internet Archive) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ADOLESCENCE *** - - - - - - ADOLESCENCE - - - - - ADOLESCENCE - - - BY - STEPHEN PAGET - - - CONSTABLE & COMPANY - LIMITED LONDON - - - - - _First printed 1917._ - - - - -This lecture was read to Oxford University Extension Students, in -the Sheldonian Theatre, in August, 1917. The general subject of the -lectures and classes was “The Near Future: problems of construction and -reconstruction.” - -The Master of University College, who presided over the meeting, -pointed out that I had said nothing of the help which is given to young -men by their sisters. He spoke of the legions of young men who “keep -straight” because they keep in mind what their sisters are to them. I -ought to have said something of this influence of home-life. - -And I ought, perhaps, to have defined with more exactness the very -words which I would use, if it were my duty to attempt a boy’s -“sex-education”――we could hardly find an uglier title for it. But I was -afraid to say more than I did say. The great thing is, that the parent, -or it may be the teacher, should be able to tell the child, “Do come -to me, right away, whenever you are puzzled or shocked at anything -that you read, or hear, or notice: and I will tell you, as well as I -can, all that you need to know about it.” And the greatest thing of all -is careful self-preparation. To answer a child with evasive or lying -nonsense is to offend the child: and we have it on good authority that -we deserve for that offence the millstone round our necks, and the -depth of the sea. - - - - - ADOLESCENCE - - -The honour of coming here was embittered by the difficulty of deciding -what to say and how to say it. One of the hardest of all subjects, -adolescence, was given to me: with this added hardship, that I was -to consider it as something which may be reconstructed in the near -future; or as a problem which we may somehow solve. It needs more than -a man to understand adolescence: it needs, at the very least, a Royal -Commission. I do not understand, really understand, anybody except -myself; indeed, I do not thoroughly understand even me. One thing, to -begin with, I did know about adolescence. I knew that it was a Latin -word. So I looked it up in the Latin dictionary. And there I found -to my surprise that the ancients were not agreed as to the term of -adolescence. Varro reckons it from the 15th to the 30th year of life. -Cicero speaks of Crassus, at 34, as adolescent: he even uses the word -of Brutus and Cassius, when they were 40; and, what is most unexpected -of all, he uses it of himself, in the year of his Consulship, when he -was 44. Nothing could be more incorrigibly middle-aged than Cicero -at 44; nothing could be more finally settled beyond all possibility -of unsettlement. We cannot discuss adolescence, if it is to include -persons of that standing. - -Shall we therefore put this word back in the Latin dictionary, and -speak not of adolescence but of youth? But the word youth hardly takes -into account the bodily changes which occur between childhood and adult -life. We are concerned here with the schoolroom years, the threshold -years, say, from 14 to 18. All of us, when we think seriously about -boys and girls from 14 to 18 years old, have at the back of our minds -the thought of sex. And you must forgive me, if I use very plain words -this evening: for I hope and believe that you will prefer, from a man -of my profession, plain speaking to roundabout phrases. - -My theme is adolescence: I have no right to talk about small children. -But how can I help myself? Boys and girls begin to be vaguely conscious -of sex, long before they are 14; some of them get into unclean habits, -or say unclean things, when they are nearer to 4 than they are to 14; -indeed, they may get into unclean habits before they are 4. If we are -to understand the schoolroom, we must first understand the nursery. -Children, by the time that they are 14, are what those 14 years have -made them, with our assistance, or with our neglect. - -But, as all of us are well aware, no two children are exactly alike -in this matter. The differences between them are finely graduated; -but the extremes of difference are miles apart. Some children are -wholly incurious about sex; some are slightly inquisitive, some are -very inquisitive, and some, but very few, not one in a thousand, are -downright vicious and obsessed. - -We are too ready, it may be, to give all our praise to those who are -wholly incurious; we call them healthy-minded, pure-minded, and so -forth. We admire them because they take no interest in this part -of their natural life, just as we admire them because they take no -interest in the working of their brains and their digestive organs. But -there is nothing very admirable in this blank indifference toward the -affairs of the body; it is good common sense, but we ought to think -twice before we regard it as a virtue: it is altogether negative, and -virtues are something positive. We can safely afford to keep some of -our admiration for the children who are inquisitive. Besides, we have -no business to put the possession of sex on a level with the possession -of digestive organs. The facts of digestion are merely physiological: -you can take them or leave them. The facts of sex are not merely -physiological: and it is perilous, either to take them or to leave them. - -Of course, the incurious child is more easy to talk to, more easy -to get on with, than the inquisitive child; but we can hardly -wish all boys and girls from 14 to 18 to remain thus childish in -their knowledge of themselves. I do not believe that what we call -“innocence” is any sure protection to boys or to girls against impure -or perverted ways in adolescence. Indeed, I am inclined to believe that -innocence, or ignorance, may even betray them instead of protecting -them. - -Besides, it is the accepted way of intelligent children to be -inquisitive: it is their birthright to ask us any amount of questions. -A child who never asks a question about sex is indeed, so far as that -goes, a backward child: what we call unobservant. In some ways, this -non-questioning mind is good for young children; but surely it is -unnatural that the children should attain to adolescence and still be -ignorant of what they are. - -Whether these incurious children tend to be passionless in early adult -life, I do not know; nor can I make any guess as to the proportion, in -adolescence, of temperaments devoid of passion. Only, if they who are -incurious during childhood do tend to be passionless in later years, -that is no reason why we should admire them as children. For, in the -design of our nature, and in the fabric of our nature, there is a -place, and a very honourable place, for passion held under control. And -they who have nothing to control are to be congratulated, because they -are out of the way of temptation; but we admire, even more, those who -are in the way of temptation and withstand it. - -If this be true, or anywhere near true, that a measure of inquisitiveness -in childhood, and a measure of passion in early adult life, are welcome -signs of a sane mind in a sane body, such as Juvenal bids us pray for, -then it follows that we ought to give careful regard to these -inquisitive children, and wise and honest answers to their embarrassing -questions. - -But we grown-up folk are not agreed, nor ever shall be, what to tell -them, and when to tell it. We have no set method of talking to children -about sex, nor of warning older boys and girls against the miseries -into which it may, if they let it, bring them. Of course, this want of -agreement is not altogether our fault; we are so divided, because the -children are so diverse. Their differences of temperament are reflected -in our different ways of dealing with them. The fact remains, that we -have no common plan, no authorised programme: and, if ever we do invent -one, which we never shall, it will not suit all the children. Each of -us, in this perplexity, judges for himself or herself; there is nothing -else to be done. - -Still, we can be agreed over some points; we can make one or two rules, -and keep them before us. It is a good rule, surely, that we should -prepare ourselves and arm ourselves against the shock of a sudden -question. We must have our answers ready. We must rehearse, we must -learn almost word for word, as it were by heart, what we will say, when -the inevitable demand for facts is sprung on us. That is our bounden -duty, to make up our phrases beforehand, so that we shall not be caught -unawares. It is not fair to the children that we should give them -stupid floundering answers, or snub them, or shut them up. They have -a perfect right to a well thought out answer. That is the meaning of -what Horace says, that the utmost reverence is due to them. We cannot -better reverence them than by deciding, long before the question comes, -how we will handle it. Think for a moment what silly things are said to -children, all for want of careful self-preparation. - -To this good rule we might add another――that we must never tell them a -lie. We ought not to be liars, not even to small children. Take, for -instance, one of the best of all opportunities for telling the truth; -take the arrival of a baby brother or sister. Where did it come from? -I have no patience with people who say that the angels, or the doctor, -brought it. There is enough nonsense already talked about my profession -without that. What business have they to lie to an honest child? Or -take a more heart-searching instance. Imagine a child at Christmas-time -playing with that most beautiful of all Christmas toys, a little -_crêche_, with little figures of Mary and Joseph and the Babe lying in -a manger; and the child turns round and asks you where Baby Jesus came -from. What answer will you give? What harm can it do to a child, to -know that children are born of their mothers? What does harm the minds -of children is not our plain speaking; it is their own secret reading, -gossiping, and imagining. - -Now let me venture a bit further. In the kingdom of a child’s mind, it -is not one set of thoughts, but two, which gradually rise to power, -as the child grows to adult life. Right away from the nursery age, -these two ideas are important above all others; important alike to -the child and to us. One is the child’s notions about sex; the other -is the child’s notions about God. Everything else wavers and shifts; -we see the children change every scrap of their minds over and over -again: their likes and their dislikes, their plans and their decisions, -flourish and perish, and are no more than stages or phases. But these -two purposes of their curiosity――the desire to know what sex is, and -the desire to know what God is――these endure, and are more imperative -with every added year of life. - -As the children ask very absurd questions about sex, so they ask very -absurd questions about God. As we are taken aback, and say foolish -things to them over the one subject, so we do over the other. As we -ought to prepare ourselves for the one opportunity, so we ought for the -other. As we must answer properly about sex, so we must answer properly -about God. It is bad enough to shut them up over sex; it is worse to -shut them up over God. They are trying to get at something. They, at -their end of life, are like Sir John Falstaff at his end of life――you -remember the account of his death, by the hostess of the Boar’s Head -Tavern: - - So ’a cried out――God, God, God!――three or four times. Now I, - to comfort him, bid him ’a should not think of God; I hoped - there was no need to trouble himself with any such thoughts - yet. - -Whatever we say to the children we must never say that. But who will -teach us what we ought to say? Perhaps we might make a rule that we -will try not to play down to their childish notions. On the contrary, -we will try to tell them that our grown-up notions are hardly less -childish than theirs. We cannot worship their little graven image, -but we can confess to them that our own image is a very poor thing. -They will be glad to hear of the feebleness of our thoughts. We want -to lead them out of their first position: we want to get them a little -further on the interminable quest. We shall not do that by accepting -and adopting their idea of God, using it as an argument or weapon -against them. But we may perhaps be of use to them, if we explain to -them that we, even we, are nothing better than babies, when it comes -to attempting to think of what we really mean by the Divine Name. -Let us inform them plainly, that the best that we can do for them is -to conduct them out of the poverty of their minds into the poverty of -ours. It is possible, also, that we might find it a good rule with -children, to make less use of the word “God,” and more use of the -word “the Spirit,” or “the Holy Spirit.” This word “Spirit” is not -associated in their minds with any bodily shape; it may thus help them, -as time goes on, to forsake their little graven image. - -I do believe that these two ideas――the idea of sex, and the idea -of God――are of the utmost importance to us in our dealings with -children and with adolescents. If we are to think of constructing and -reconstructing human lives as if they were houses, let us have the -proper materials for it, and let us handle them wisely. These two ideas -are good materials; they will take any amount of construction and of -reconstruction, and, if we build as we ought, they will stand the very -heavy strain which will be put on them. Please forgive me, that I am -treating my subject on these old-fashioned lines; I did not choose it: -the authorities chose it for me. They ought to have given it not to -a mere grandpapa, but to somebody worthy of the unmusical name of an -educationalist. - -In adolescence, in early adult life, there comes a heavy strain on -these two ideas, and unless we have built as we ought, some portion of -the edifice will be in danger of falling. The point is, that we must -somehow manage to build these two ideas together; we must adjust and -fit them together, giving to each of them its due place in the house -of life, not opposing but conjoining them to each other, as a builder -conjoins bricks and mortar. It is a true saying, “The reasonable soul -and flesh is one man.” Please observe that they not _are_, but _is_, -one man; they are so closely united that they _is_ one man. It follows, -that what we call temptation addresses itself not to the flesh alone, -but also to the reasonable soul. Consider the predicament of a young -man who up to now has, as we call it, “kept straight.” All round him, -day after day, newspapers and books and shop windows and theatres, -and other men’s talk, and the look of the crowd in the streets, are -alluding to it. His pride is wounded, and the more he tries not to -think of it, the more it hurts. All young men covet and pursue the -experiences of life; he is vexed and resentful that he should be thus -incomplete. He has given up what a young man most hates to give up: he -has given up something which would make him just like other young men. -Not only his body, but his reasonable soul, is restless and impatient. -That which impels him to the edge of temptation is not his animal -nature but his whole human nature. - -Other motives, alike in boys and in girls, are vanity, sentimentality, -and intolerance, especially in these tremendous days, of the monotonous -narrowness of their work and the fretful discipline of their homes. And -there are some boys and girls――happily it is a small minority――who are -so passionate and so wilful that they hardly stop to reckon what they -are doing. - -Of course, we have some antidotes against temptation. One of them -is the right employment of mind and body; but the mind must not -be employed at haphazard, and the body must not be over-fatigued. -The employment of the mind must have a touch of refinement or -fastidiousness: things which are lurid and vulgar must be recognised -for what they are: the boys and girls must be fond of “good form”; -they must be picksome over books and theatres and picture-palaces and -friendships. The employment of the body must have a touch of discipline -or training: outdoor exercise, athletics in moderation, fresh air, -plain food, cold water. If I could be a little boy again, I would join -the Boy Scouts; if I could be a young man again, I would get on without -alcohol and cigarettes. - -To these approved antidotes, let me, as a doctor, add a good tonic, -to steady the nerves of adolescence. I prescribe a full dose of the -natural sciences. Some people believe in what are called “hobbies” for -boys and girls. I do not think much of hobbies, if it comes to nothing -more than photographing or stamp-collecting or carpentering at odd -moments; but I love to see boys and girls working hard at physics and -chemistry. It is a grand thing for them: it really does tranquillise -and strengthen them; I like to believe that it even tends, as it were, -to reduce their high temperature and their rapid pulse. All other -employments of the adolescent mind――as Mrs. Tulliver, in _The Mill -on the Floss_, says of the crowns of bonnets――they are “so chancy: -never two summers alike.” Books, art, politics, amusements, outward -observances of religion――all of them are so chancy: all of them are -open to the criticism of the young people. I remember, ages ago, a -German professor dining at my father’s house; and in the course of -the talk some reference was made to St. Paul. “Ah! Paulus,” said the -Professor, “I have read his works; but I do not agree with Paulus.” -Science is not like that: there is no chanciness in her: we inevitably -agree with her. If a chemical test goes wrong, we know that we have -done it wrong. This eternal certainty gives to physics and chemistry, -somehow, authority over the vagrant minds of boys and girls; and this -authority, surely, must help to keep them able to resist temptation. - -These antidotes and this tonic are all very well; but the best thing of -all would be, for all boys and girls, unfailing belief in what we call -the Spirit of God, or the Presence of God, in their daily affairs. I -feel sure that there are many of them who are more likely to be kept -straight by that than by anything else. - -And, of course, it is our business to prepare them, with all the -wisdom and forethought that we can manage to find in ourselves, for -these dangerous years of early adult life. But we must begin while -they are children; we must begin with careful answers to their -ridiculous questions about sex and about God. These two ideas are -our building-materials: we must work them together, not keep them -apart, nor oppose them to each other; we must go on, constructing and -reconstructing them in the growing fabric of the mind, adapting and -adjusting them to each other: so that the children, when they come to -adolescence, shall come to it neither ignorant nor helpless. - -So many of us hang about the child’s mind, in a timid sort of way, -hesitating to go in. We look up at the windows, we peep through the -letter-box, we try the back door, we ring the bell very gently――the -left-hand bell, which is marked Servants; we dare not ring the -visitors’ bell, nor ply the knocker. And the child, all the while, is -expecting us. We wait for opportunities. It is probable, with some -children, that we ought to make them, not wait for them. I do not -altogether like the word “initiate”; yet I have in my imagination some -special day set and appointed for a grave little home-ceremony; the -whole thing well thought out, the exhortation written down beforehand, -every word of it. The occasion of telling boys and girls the truth -about their bodily nature would thus be made solemn and memorable, as -an act of their lives. I have been reading again that scene in _Tom -Brown’s Schooldays_, where the Squire gives his parting advice to Tom, -on the way to Rugby. It is one of the hundred best things in one of the -hundred best books. Only, all boys and girls are not alike: there is -need, with some of them, of saying more than the Squire said. Perhaps a -birthday would afford a good opportunity. And, of course, it ought to -be done at home: it ought to be done by the child’s parents. Most of -us here, when we were 14 or 15 years old, were confirmed, and received -the Holy Communion. It was a little time of quiet self-judgment and -good resolutions; it really did help us. If I could have my life back, -I should like to be told about my bodily nature in that devout and -premeditated way. It ought to be done at home, and my father ought to -do it, probably on my birthday. Instead of that, it was done by another -boy, at a preparatory school. I still remember the exact words that we -used, and I could still find almost the very paving-stone on which I -was standing. - -There are things to be said to children; and there are things to be -said to older boys and girls going out into the world. I cannot fix -the right ages for it: no two children are alike. I feel, also, that -first-rate school teachers are more likely than second-rate parents to -say the right thing to children. There is a place, doubtless, in school -teaching, for lessons in botany and in natural history. The trouble is, -that some of the children may fail to see what you are driving at. You -can lead them to the very edge of the stream of analogy, but you cannot -make them drink. They may remain, at the last moment, recalcitrant; -and you may never get quite so far as to tell them what you were -intending to tell them. - -If it were my duty to inform a boy, between 12 and 14 years old――and -it certainly is not the business of any man to speak to girls about -their bodily nature――I would not begin with botany. I would begin with -mankind. I would tell him that all of us come out of the bodies of our -mothers: and in that way come all creatures. I would argue from us to -animals, not from animals to us. Then I would say something about -the anatomical differences between male and female children: and I -would tell him that this difference runs through all creation, all the -distance from us down to plants and flowers. And I would say to him, -“All creatures are formed in this way, in the bodies of their mothers, -before they are born: but they cannot begin to be formed, till the male -and the female have actually come together: and that is all that you -need to know.” If it were my duty to talk to a young man 18 or 19 years -old, I would talk to him as to any other man, freely and explicitly; I -would also warn him of the disastrous bodily results which may follow -even one act of wrong-doing, and how these results might be visited, -years hence, on his children. And, of course, whatever the age, I would -not only lecture, I would also preach. If I am to help a boy to “keep -straight,” I must appeal from that which is natural in him to that -which is spiritual in him. - -And――so far as adolescence is concerned――if ever there was a time when -we ought to speak plainly, it is now. Whether we like it or not, the -old habit of silence has for some years been falling away from us. -Even before the War, we had begun to talk more freely, and to be less -offended by plain speaking. The War has made it still harder for us -to remain silent. We have seen, everywhere, boys and girls, all of a -sudden, as it were transfigured: the boys turned into men, the girls -turned into women; courage, obedience, endurance, flaming up in them, -so that we marvel at them. But we have seen, also, the dark side -of their life. They have gone ahead so fast, and their eyes are so -dazzled, that some of them will not stop to read our danger-signals. -Most of us have some influence over them, some of us have great -influence. Things already are bad enough, and, in all probability, will -be worse in the near future. Our influence was not given to us for -nothing: and if we do not exercise it now, we shall be sorry, too late. - -There is one more bit of advice, in these days, which we might give -to young men. The War seems to make it somehow wrong, that a young -man, of decent character, in good health and steady work, should -remain unmarried. He ought to marry, that sons of his may serve their -country, filling the empty places of the young men who have died for -their country. Before the War, it was nobody’s business but his own, -whether a young man were married or single. We observe him now from -another point of view, with every added month of the War, and every -casualty-list; we say that he is not doing his duty, if he prefers -the comfort and the freedom of bachelor-life to the cares of marriage -and parentage. Let him so live now, in these terrible days, that his -children shall be born healthy, a blessing alike to him and to his -country. - -Now, to finish with, let me dot the _i_’s and cross the _t_’s of -this paper. It is likely enough that I have been talking more of -things as they were in my boyhood than of things as they are now. The -Victorian Age was in many ways magnificent; but it neither approved -of inquisitive children, nor enlightened them. For example――one -of my contemporaries tells me that she was taught botany out of a -book called _Lindley’s Ladies’ Botany_. In this book, the fact that -flowers are male and female was carefully left out. She learned this -fact when she was 18; she gathered it from a sermon in church, and it -vexed and offended her. We have got past all that sort of nonsense. -But we are still at sixes and sevens how to tell children about their -bodily nature. We let them alone, they let us alone; we wait, they -wait; neither we nor they like to begin. We do not know what they -are thinking of. But we know this much, that there are two sets of -thoughts which must, simply must, be growing up together in their -minds――the idea of sex, and the idea of God. We cannot help them -without self-preparation; we muddle them, not educate them, on these -two subjects, unless we have made up our own minds how we will answer -their questions. - -Further, I do believe that some parents might well make a solemn little -home-ceremony of telling a child about his or her bodily nature; not -leave it to chance, nor to the unclean talk of schoolfellows; no, nor -even leave it to the child’s teachers. Father or mother ought to do it. -And, when the children are grown up, it ought to be done again, with -clear warning against the dangers which they are going into. - -Finally, what they need is not physiology alone, but physiology and -faith together. There has been a great deal too much science talked -about adolescence. Too much physiology, pathology, psychology――not -that psychology really is a science――too much analysis, too many -statistics. If any of you, as parents or as teachers, do require a -short science-book, there is Dr. Starr’s _The Adolescent Period_. It -has its faults. It is unduly apprehensive of some things which are not -important. It makes too much of those boys and girls who are abnormal. -Some children are abnormal; and some, but very few, are as it were -demoniac, to their own misery and the misery of others. These most -unhappy children have been put under the microscope for us by our kind -friends the psychologists. But the vast majority of boys and girls are -normal. - -Dr. Starr’s book is not for general reading. Still, for the right sort -of readers, it is a good and useful book. But what, after all, do we -want with books? It is the children that we have got to read; not books -about them, but them. I doubt whether psychologists understand ordinary -children better than a wise old family nurse understands them. Boys -and girls are human beings: they were not discovered by science: they -refuse to be elucidated by science. The way for us to help them is -not by psychology, but by faith, self-preparation, courage, and common -sense. - - - - - _Printed in England by_ - Butler and Tanner, - _Frome and London_ - - - - - Transcriber’s Notes: - - ――Text in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_). - - ――Punctuation and spelling inaccuracies were silently corrected. - - ――Archaic and variable spelling has been preserved. - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ADOLESCENCE *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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