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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of Dr. Paull’s Theory, by Mrs. A. M.
-Diehl
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: Dr. Paull’s Theory
- A Romance
-
-Author: Mrs. A. M. Diehl
-
-Release Date: February 18, 2022 [eBook #67437]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading
- Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from
- images generously made available by The Internet Archive)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DR. PAULL’S THEORY ***
-
-
-
-
-
- DR. PAULL’S THEORY
- _A ROMANCE_
-
-
- BY
-
- MRS. A. M. DIEHL
- AUTHOR OF THE GARDEN OF EDEN, ETC.
-
-[Illustration]
-
- NEW YORK
- D. APPLETON AND COMPANY
- 1893
-
-
-
-
- COPYRIGHT, 1893,
- BY D. APPLETON AND COMPANY.
-
-
- ELECTROTYPED AND PRINTED
- AT THE APPLETON PRESS, U. S. A.
-
-
-
-
- DEDICATED TO
- HENRY IRVING, ESQ.
-
-
-
-
- CONTENTS.
-
-
- CHAPTER PAGE
- I. FATE 1
-
- II. AN INITIAL LETTER 12
-
- III. EXTRACT FROM THE DIARY OF HUGH PAULL 25
-
- IV. A MORAL DUEL 56
-
- V. A STARTLING PROPOSAL 82
-
- VI. THE LOCKET 104
-
- VII. FOUND IN AN OLD NOTEBOOK OF LILIA PYM 123
-
- VIII. DIARY OF HUGH PAULL 139
-
- IX. THE BEGINNING OF THE SEQUEL 155
-
- X. A DISAPPOINTMENT 186
-
- XI. MERCEDES 197
-
- XII. “’TWIXT THE CUP AND THE LIP” 213
-
- XIII. HER DREAM 224
-
- XIV. A QUESTIONABLE DOCTRINE 238
-
- XV. EXTRACT FROM THE DIARY OF DR. HUGH PAULL 251
-
- XVI. MIZPAH 268
-
-
-
-
- DR. PAULL’S THEORY.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER I.
- FATE.
-
-
-Hugh Paull, house-surgeon to a great City hospital, was seated at his
-writing-desk. During his spare time he was working at a treatise on
-nervous disease, the special subject which attracted him. It was a day
-when a certain public event was disturbing the usual City routine. The
-thoroughfares near to the hospital were blocked, and his room was
-quieter than usual. He had almost forgotten that he was liable to be
-disturbed, when a tap came at his door.
-
-“Wanted, sir. Accident just brought in.”
-
-The porter spoke, standing in the doorway.
-
-Hugh laid down his pen with a sigh.
-
-“Has Mr. Hamley taken the case?”
-
-“Yes, sir. They are getting him into the ward. Old gentleman—carriage
-accident. Horse frightened and bolted. Two bobbies brought him in.”
-
-“All right, I’ll come.”
-
-He put aside his manuscript, and went down to the accident ward. The
-“sister” of the ward, two nurses, and young Hamley, a dresser, were
-standing round the recumbent figure of a fine old man, who lay on his
-narrow bed still as death, his pale features composed, his grey hair
-tossed upon the pillow. It was a grand face—a model for a painter.
-
-As Paull neared the group the two nurses moved away to bring forward and
-unfold a screen.
-
-“Take it away,” he said.
-
-“I think he’s gone, or nearly so,” said the dresser, a fair young man,
-his face flushing. He had asked for the screen, usually drawn around the
-dying or dead.
-
-“Nothing of the sort,” said Hugh. He felt the patient’s pulse, listened
-at his heart, opened the closed eyelids, placed his hand lightly on his
-brow, which was cold and clammy, then ordered him to be undressed,
-himself assisting the nurses to rip up the coat-sleeves.
-
-There were no injuries. It was a case of concussion of the brain. The
-groom was having his slight wounds dressed in the out-patients’
-department; and Hugh learned from him that his master, whom he appeared
-to hold greatly in awe, was Sir Roderick Pym, one of the partners in the
-well-known banking firm of Pym, Clithero and Pym. He had a town house in
-a West-end square, and a country house in Surrey, where he mostly lived.
-He was staying in town for a few days, and had insisted on driving
-towards the City to-day, in spite of the warning issued by the police to
-the public. Moreover, he insisted on driving a thoroughbred mare, who no
-sooner got among quite a small assemblage of roughs than she kicked up
-her heels and was off. The groom stuck to the tilbury till the final
-crash, but his master fell out shortly before. That was all he knew (or
-chose to tell). He was a town groom. He never went into the country. He
-would return home and tell Sir Roderick’s housekeeper. She would come
-round and see about their master.
-
-Hugh went thoughtfully back to the ward, and standing at the foot of the
-bed gazed at the solemn, set face of the unconscious man. He was
-interested—unusually so. This old man’s aquiline, grave face was full of
-expression. Peaceful and composed as it was now, it was the countenance
-of one who had suffered, and suffered deeply.
-
-“His eyelids quivered a little when the ice-bag was applied, sir,” said
-the nurse who was watching the patient.
-
-Hugh was once more gravely examining the case, when the stout, matronly
-personage, in a high cap and huge white apron, who was called the
-“sister” of the ward, came from the little room at its end, through the
-square window of which she could see all that was going on in the long
-room with the rows of beds.
-
-“I thought I would give you these, Mr. Paull. I would rather not have
-anything to do with them,” she said, handing Hugh a massive gold watch
-and chain, a purse, and some letters and papers.
-
-“I will see to them, sister,” he said.
-
-Giving directions as to the immediate treatment of Sir Roderick, he
-returned to his room to lock them away in a small iron safe, where
-certain of the hospital books and cases of instruments were kept. The
-watch was a hunter. It struck him that the glass might be broken. It
-was. He shook out the fragments; then, seeing a locket attached to the
-chain, he opened that.
-
-The glass of this was intact, and covered the coloured photograph of a
-woman’s face—sweet, bright, fair, with smiling lips and dark eyes, that
-even on lifeless paper looked mischief and pretty defiance.
-
-He shut up the locket in a hurry—he had not meant prying—and placing the
-contents of Sir Roderick’s pockets in a corner of the safe, turned the
-key upon them.
-
-“This is my quiet day’s work,” he thought, with a sigh. It was useless
-to sit down to a scientific treatise, for which the most complete
-abstraction was an absolute necessity, when at any moment he might be
-summoned to this unexpected and important case; so he put the scattered
-sheets of manuscript together, and re-arranged the books of reference
-that he had piled on chairs by his writing-table in their rightful
-places on the book-shelves. Then he sat down in his American chair, and
-stared at the fire.
-
-“A strange old face,” he was thinking, “massive, thoughtful. Quite a
-Rembrandt head. I wonder how old he is—whether he will get over it?
-Nasty shock, anyhow. Must have fallen on a soft bit of road; if it had
-been the kerb, or cobbles even, it might have been all over with him.”
-
-It seemed to Paull that he must have seen that face before. Yet this
-could scarcely be. He had come to the hospital from his country home. He
-was the only son of the Rector of Kilby, in Derbyshire, and had seldom
-gone out, except to the museums and to scientific lectures; his ambition
-kept him chained to its object—his profession.
-
-“The sort of face one sometimes dreams of,” he concluded. “I thought I
-was past nonsense of this sort. This latest thing in accidents has upset
-me as if I were a girl.”
-
-Presently, the “gentleman’s housekeeper” was announced, and a portly
-dame, handsomely dressed in dark silk and a fur-trimmed cloak, entered.
-At once Hugh banished all idea of the locket and Mrs. Naylor having the
-faintest connecting link.
-
-Sir Roderick’s housekeeper was comely, and good-looking in her buxom
-way. But although there was anxiety in her enquiries, and evident relief
-in her manner when Paull gave her hopes that her employer might recover,
-the ruddiness did not forsake her cheeks, nor was she in the least
-flurried.
-
-“I feared something might happen, that I did,” she said, accepting a
-chair. “The groom, David, he didn’t half like going behind that mare.
-Sir Roderick’s a first-rate driver; they do say at both riding and
-driving he can manage anything in the way of a horse. But there, I’ve
-seen that Kitty in the stable, and I know she’s that bad-tempered—but,
-lor! no one daren’t say one word to Sir Roderick.”
-
-Paull asked if there were no near relations who might be sent for, or
-informed of her master’s condition.
-
-“Mr. Edmund—that’s Sir Roderick’s next eldest brother—had dinner with
-him last night,” she answered, doubtfully, “But he’s taken his family to
-see the procession. Mr. Pym—that’s the eldest, the head of the
-firm—isn’t on what you might call good terms with Sir Roderick, who has
-nothing to do with the bank now.”
-
-“Were those all?” asked Hugh.
-
-Mrs. Naylor could not suggest anyone else. Sir Roderick—well, he was one
-of those gentlemen that you didn’t know how to take. You might offend
-him mortally, and you wouldn’t know it except by his never having
-anything to do with you afterwards.
-
-“You would rather not take any responsibility in the matter then, Mrs.
-Naylor?” asked Hugh, slightly amused.
-
-The character of that strange man, lying for the present dead to the
-world without, was being unexpectedly revealed to him.
-
-“I certainly would rather not, sir,” said Mrs. Naylor, briskly.
-
-“But you will not object to give me his brother’s address?”
-
-Mrs. Naylor being quite ready to give Mr. Edmund Pym’s address, Hugh
-wrote it down. Then he offered to take Mrs. Naylor to see her master.
-
-From this she seemed to shrink; and it was only after being adjured that
-it was her duty to remain, at all events, in the hospital, until someone
-else belonging to Sir Roderick came—that she consented to visit the
-ward.
-
-Mr. Edmund Pym arrived to visit his brother about nine in the evening: a
-singularly impassive personage, who showed no emotion whatever of any
-kind, and who departed as soon as possible.
-
-Mrs. Naylor, evidently greatly relieved, slipped away after she had had
-a short interview with her master’s brother.
-
-At ten o’clock the old man still lay on the hospital bed—breathing,
-living, but apparently dead to all around him.
-
-“What do you think of him, Mr. Paull?” asked the Sister, as Hugh went
-his last round—at least the round which was usually his last.
-
-“Think of him?” repeated Hugh, absently. “Oh—well—Dr. Fairlight will be
-here in the morning. He will take the case. Tell the night nurse I shall
-be down in an hour.”
-
-“You’re not going to sit up, Mr. Paull?”
-
-“I think I shall.”
-
-The Sister looked from patient to doctor, as Hugh went striding out of
-the ward, and back again to the livid, solemn face on the pillow.
-
-“That young cabman’s case last week was a good deal worse than this,”
-she mused, “and he didn’t sit up. I suppose the old gentleman’s age
-makes him anxious.”
-
-Hugh Paull, with his odd attractiveness, his scrupulous fidelity to his
-duties, and his learning, which was acknowledged by the great men who
-were appointed to the hospital, as well as by his fellow-workers, was
-the hero of the resident staff, both doctors and nurses; and it did not
-enter the good Sister’s head to dream that any other motive but that of
-devotion to duty led to this sacrifice of a night’s rest, and singular
-departure from ordinary hospital routine.
-
-Yet when Hugh took up his position at the patient’s bedside with some
-books as the possible companions of his vigil, he smiled to himself with
-a cynical wonder.
-
-“Why am I doing this?” he asked himself. Why, indeed? He could have been
-summoned if any change took place. He could have ordered an extra night
-nurse for Sir Roderick. Why should he go out of his way for a strange
-man? Because this old man’s brother and the housekeeper had behaved so
-coolly, and his sense of humanity was aroused? Because this human
-windfall in the accident ward was Sir Roderick Pym, of Pym, Clithero &
-Pym? No! for neither of these reasons. Hugh Paull was in the habit of
-self-interrogation. His dissatisfaction with ordinary life as ordinary
-people took it had made him desperately in earnest; and being
-desperately in earnest, had made—
-
- “To thine own self be true,
- Thou canst not then be false to any man,”
-
-one of his governing mottoes. As he settled himself to his night watch
-he grimly told himself that he was here for the sole reason that he knew
-he could not without a struggle have kept away. Sir Roderick Pym
-attracted him like a magnet. Why, he had still to learn.
-
-Alternately watching the slightest movement of the patient, and reading,
-the night wore on. There was silence in the long ward. The rows of beds
-loomed whitely in the distance. The fire crackled. Now and then there
-was a sigh or a weary moan. The distant clatter of cab-wheels, the howl
-of a restless dog, or the slow rumbling of the market-waggons, were the
-only signs that not all in London slept, as did these victims of
-carelessness or misadventure within the quiet stone building.
-
-Between one and two o’clock, Sir Roderick gave signs of returning
-consciousness. As the night nurse glided from bed to bed, administering
-medicine to those patients for whom it had been ordered, he opened his
-eyes, and muttered something. Then he moved his head on his pillow,
-turned, and gradually subsided into natural sleep.
-
-After Hugh was completely satisfied that this was real slumber—“tired
-Nature’s sweet restorer,” indeed—he might safely have sought “balmy
-sleep” for his own solace; but by this time he was so wide awake, and
-his brain so fit for study, that he remained. Sir Roderick slept for
-hours as placidly as an infant, while Hugh studied with all his might
-and strength.
-
-At six o’clock the night nurse brought him a cup of tea, and
-congratulated him on the changed appearance of the patient.
-
-“Yes; he’ll do now, I think,” said Hugh, contentedly.
-
-The clatter of the spoon in the saucer, or the whispering, or both,
-aroused Sir Roderick. He opened his eyes, and stared at Hugh, first
-wildly, then with an amazed expression.
-
-“Kemble, in _Hamlet_,” he muttered. Then, as Hugh bit his lip to
-restrain a smile—a shaken brain must not be irritated—he frowned and
-stared, stared and frowned, then jerked his head away as from an
-unpleasant object.
-
-Since the old man had been resolutely driving into the City, against
-much warning and advice, all had been a blank. Now he was awakening amid
-the most unpleasant sensations: his limbs heavy as lead, his head
-curiously light. At first he squinted at the strange objects around him,
-struggling to focus them aright, like a semi-conscious infant. As his
-sight adjusted itself, he found that there were really many beds—a row
-of beds. He began to count them, but before he had reached two figures
-he felt sick and faint, and instinctively turned back for help.
-
-A lithe strong arm was round him, a glass with some cordial was at his
-lips. He swallowed the draught, and helplessly subsided.
-
-As he revived he began to think.
-
-“This is real,” was his first thought. “What has happened to me?”
-
-After the thought had hummed about in his mind like a spinning-top, it
-subsided, tottered, and tumbled. He, as it were, picked it up.
-
-“Who am I?” he stammered, suddenly, to Hugh, who was sitting near, his
-eyes alert. He had not meant that, but it came out higgledy-piggledy,
-somehow, and he listened to his own voice wonderingly.
-
-“You are quite safe, Sir Roderick Pym,” said Hugh, gently. “A few hours
-ago you were thrown out of your carriage, and were brought here. You
-have been slightly—faint—but you will soon be all right again, and able
-to go home.”
-
-“A—hospital!” Sir Roderick looked round with evident disgust.
-“Who—knows?” he added, with a glance of alarm.
-
-Hugh hastened to relate details, slowly, clearly, while the nurse
-administered some light nourishment.
-
-Sir Roderick listened attentively. The only question he asked was if his
-mare, Kitty, had suffered.
-
-“I wouldn’t have had anything happen to Kitty,” he began, emphatically.
-Then, as he glanced up at Hugh from under his shaggy grey eyebrows, he
-seemed to remember that he was speaking to a stranger, and stopping
-short, sank wearily back.
-
-“I took you for a vision of ‘Hamlet,’” he said, with a short laugh. “You
-looked like it—all black against the light, bending over your books.”
-
-“My black clothes?” said Hugh. “I am just in mourning for my mother. I
-am house-surgeon here.”
-
-Sir Roderick looked at him less coldly, and murmured some thanks. Then
-he asked the time.
-
-“I want to telegraph. I was expected home—in the country—to-day,” he
-said. “Perhaps—I could go this afternoon.”
-
-Hugh convinced him that this would be, if not impossible, the height of
-imprudence.
-
-Sir Roderick listened to reason, but bargained that he should write a
-telegram now, at once, while he was able.
-
-So excitedly did he plead, that Hugh reluctantly fetched a telegram form
-from the secretary’s room, and propped his troublesome patient up in the
-bed, that he might fill it in himself.
-
-But the pencil fell from Sir Roderick’s fingers, the effort made him
-feel faint.
-
-Not till an hour after was the telegram despatched, and then it was Hugh
-who had written it at Sir Roderick’s dictation:—
-
- “_To L. Pym, The Pinewood_,
- “_Near F——, Surrey_.
-
- “_Am detained by important business. Will return as soon as possible.
- Keep all letters, and do not see visitors._
-
- _Roderick Pym._”
-
-“To his wife, presumably,” thought Hugh, as he left his patient to the
-day nurse, who was fresh from her night’s rest; and as he thought this
-he sneered: “Younger than her lord and master; very much under his
-thumb, too, evidently. Married him for his money, of course! The
-original of the portrait in the locket, doubtless. Fancy the jealous
-prudence of the old fox! Wouldn’t write ‘Lady Pym,’ only put ‘L.’ I
-wondered why he hesitated so long before yielding up the name. Poor old
-fellow! A young wife, with that mischievous face! Why didn’t the
-housekeeper mention her?”
-
-Hugh went about his day’s work strangely dissatisfied, and had never
-felt more annoyed with anyone in his life than with the Sister of the
-accident ward when she told Dr. Fairlight that he had kindly remained
-all night by Sir Roderick’s bedside.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER II.
- AN INITIAL LETTER.
-
-
-Sir Roderick decidedly improved on acquaintance. During the next two
-days his health promised to return. He declined the offer of a private
-ward.
-
-“I like to watch what goes on,” he said to Hugh. “Of course there is a
-good deal to see that is painful. But I may not have such an opportunity
-of realising certain conditions of human nature again.”
-
-Then he descanted upon the different cases, upon the various
-characteristics of the maimed and injured men who were either inmates,
-or who were brought in, upon the method and patient quietude of the
-nurses, &c.
-
-“You are a practised observer,” said Hugh. Upon which they began a
-conversation that partially showed Hugh there was a bond of sympathy
-between them. Both were dissatisfied with life generally, and with
-certain matters particularly. Both were prompted to study deeply, and
-ponder much on the great problems which have puzzled philosophers from
-Thales to Schopenhauer; and although Sir Roderick was a materialist and
-pessimist, and Hugh had taken refuge in a high ideal optimism which was
-to a certain extent original, they met on the common ground of mental
-disquietude.
-
-Seen thus, Sir Roderick seemed another man. Weak though he still was,
-his eyes sparkled, his face was brightened by an almost youthful
-animation. Hugh was about to end the interview, fearing overfatigue for
-his patient, when Sir Roderick stopped short. His countenance changed.
-His brother, Mr. Edmund Pym, came into the ward with the secretary of
-the hospital.
-
-Edmund Pym was a short, wizened little man, with pinched features and
-blinking eyes, scant white hair and smooth shaven face. Greater
-opposites in personal appearance than these two brothers could hardly
-be.
-
-He glanced at Hugh through his eye-glass, nodded, somewhat awkwardly
-asked the invalid how he was getting on, then stood fidgeting at the
-bedside.
-
-Hugh offered him a chair, but Sir Roderick gave him such a look that he
-would have retired precipitately but for his patient’s apologetic—
-
-“Pray don’t go, Mr. Paull, I want to speak to you. My brother cannot
-stay long.”
-
-“No, I cannot stay long,” said Mr. Edmund, uncomfortably. “I only came
-in to see how you were getting on, and to tell you how sorry Mary and
-the girls are about this. Mary will come and see you, if you like?”
-
-“But I don’t like,” interrupted Sir Roderick, pettishly. “Tell
-her—anything you please. I don’t mind Mary and the girls when I am well.
-But they can’t come here. If they do, I sha’n’t see them.”
-
-Mr. Pym nervously assured his brother that “Mary and the girls” would
-not dream of doing anything to displease him. They were most anxious to
-show their solicitude and sympathy, that was all.
-
-“Tell them that as long as they hold their tongues and don’t gossip
-about my infernal accident, they may do what they please,” said Sir
-Roderick, surlily. “And if they must chatter about it, tell them to pray
-for me. Yes, tell them that. They’ll think the black sheep is coming
-into the fold at last. It’ll please them, and won’t do me any harm.”
-
-Mr. Edmund Pym was evidently embarrassed, and did not stay long. Hugh
-pitied him, and accompanying him to the end of the ward apologised for
-the irascibility of the patient, which was not only natural after the
-shock, but was, if anything, a favorable symptom, &c.
-
-“Oh! I am accustomed to my brother, Mr. Paull,” he said, with a
-gentleness that touched the young house-surgeon. “He is naturally
-irritable. We take it for what it is worth. He has had a great deal of
-trouble in his life, and it has soured him. And he is quite a recluse.
-But he has a good heart, a wonderfully kind heart.”
-
-Then he thanked Hugh for his attention to the patient and hurried off,
-evidently relieved that the visit was over.
-
-“H’m!” muttered Hugh to himself, as he slowly returned to the patient.
-“H’m! It strikes me that my pessimistic friend is, like most pessimists,
-a bit of a Tartar.”
-
-Sir Roderick welcomed him with a forced smile.
-
-“I daresay you think me ungracious?” he said, his long, withered hand
-nervously fingering the bedclothes. “I’m not—at least, not exactly. I
-can put up with my brother when I’m well, but just now I can’t. The fact
-is, he is one of the most woman-ridden men on the face of the earth. His
-wife is a bigot and a snob, and brings up her daughters bigots and
-snobs. And they rule him. Rule him? They sit upon him. They drive him,
-like the old donkey he is. He was always the same. At school they called
-him Neddy, because he took everything so meekly. It used to enrage me,
-youngster as I was. I used to say to him: ‘Man, why can’t you hold up
-your head?’ And I’ve gone on saying it to him all through life. If
-there’s one thing I despise, it’s a man who can’t hold up his head and
-defend himself.”
-
-“Against the women?” suggested Hugh. He had seated himself in the chair
-he had offered Mr. Pym. His arms were folded. He saw that he must treat
-Sir Roderick boldly, if they were to be friends. And some inward feeling
-told him that Fate, or Providence, had brought them together—that at
-least they were to be well acquainted with each other, if nothing more.
-“I am afraid, sir, that you are a woman-hater.”
-
-He half expected his patient to turn upon him somewhat after the manner
-in which he had snubbed his brother, in which case he would have left
-the old gentleman to himself, as far as conversation went, for the
-future. Instead, Sir Roderick smiled, and seemed gratified.
-
-“No, Hamlet, my friend,” he said, with a sort of pleased chuckle,
-leaning back against his pillows. “You must excuse my calling you
-Hamlet, but with your serious speculative nature, the name seems to fit
-you exactly. No, I am no woman-hater. I know we can’t do without them.
-But I object to them out of their proper place, as I object to cats out
-of the kitchen, or mastiffs and Newfoundlands in the drawing-room. The
-drudge woman and the ornamental woman are necessary evils. When strictly
-kept under, they serve their purpose. But bowed down to and worshipped
-as my unfortunate brother fetishes his womankind, they are only fit for
-extermination—as if they were so many rats.” He spoke viciously. Then
-turning to Hugh, he said: “I suppose you consider me a barbarian? Like
-the rest, you adore a petticoat—eh?”
-
-“No,” said Hugh. “But I can’t say I am with you in the extermination
-idea; I have not known any domineering women. My mother was soft,
-gentle—more a helpmeet than a companion to my father, who is a very
-studious man. She was his right hand. His is not a mind to require a
-second self. My sisters are like her.”
-
-“I understand,” said Sir Roderick, in a depreciatory tone. “Good
-specimens of the domestic genus. But what about the lady-love, the ideal
-realised, the creature apart—eh?”
-
-“I have so many, you see, Sir Roderick,” said Hugh. “Silent lassies, who
-only speak when spoken to, and wait patiently side by side for days,
-even weeks, till I throw the handkerchief. Their petticoats are
-half-calf—morocco—cloth, lettered—”
-
-“Oh! your books,” said the old man. “Ah! well, your turn will come, your
-turn will come! And the longer you wait the worse it’ll be.”
-
-“May your words not come true,” said Hugh, as he went off, amused,
-yet—when he thought of the portrait in the locket, and of the telegram
-sent to “L. Pym”—somewhat puzzled.
-
-During the time that Sir Roderick remained in the hospital—between three
-and four days—the subject of the fair sex was mutually tabooed by doctor
-and patient. They had interesting conversations, and Sir Roderick
-expressing a wish to see Hugh’s treatise, the evening before the old
-gentleman left the hospital he supped in the house-surgeon’s room, and
-Hugh read him portions of the work, which he was pleased greatly to
-approve.
-
-“You must come and see me in the country,” he said, when, after writing
-a check for a handsome donation to the hospital fund, and insisting upon
-Hugh’s acceptance of a ruby ring he had ordered to be sent from his town
-house, he was taking leave of those of the staff who had been good
-Samaritans to him in his weakness. “You must come and stay. They think
-me an unsociable old brute, do my neighbors and people round about. But
-they wouldn’t care for me if they knew me. We have nothing in common. My
-friends are men of about my own age, with similar tastes. I hope you and
-I will be friends. Although I am nearly old enough to be your
-grandfather—minds like yours don’t count by years.”
-
-Hugh answered that he was grateful, obliged—hoped they would be friends,
-certainly, etcetera. But as Sir Roderick leaned forward and nodded
-gravely to him from his brougham window when the carriage drove off, he
-felt a strange sensation—was it an uneasy feeling of aversion for this
-peculiar patient who had occupied his time and his thoughts these few
-days? Was he relieved by his departure? He could not tell. The ruby ring
-on his finger almost annoyed him. He locked it away in his desk, and
-tried to lock away the recollection of Sir Roderick with it.
-
-Then he went about his work with a strange oppression of mind and
-weariness of body. It was an operating day. A most interesting—in fact,
-a thrilling operation took place in the theatre—one which set all the
-students and surgical nurses talking. But at the most critical moment he
-seemed to see Sir Roderick’s face and to hear that short, cynical laugh.
-He felt as if he were haunted.
-
-As the days and weeks went on, the sensation lessened. But when the post
-came in he generally remembered Sir Roderick. At least, for the first
-few weeks after the accident he looked for the large, crooked scrawl he
-had noticed on the cheque, among his correspondence. When no letter, no
-news came of the strange old man, he began to think of their short
-acquaintance as of one of those purposeless episodes which occur in the
-lives of most medical men.
-
-As spring blossomed into summer, he began to forget. When he had his
-short holiday, and was once more in his childhood’s home among the
-fields and woods, with flowers scenting the summer air and the birds
-singing all around, the remembrance of the weird old Rembrandt face on
-the pillow in the hospital ward came back into his mind as might some
-curious dream. Alas! it would have been better for Hugh Paull if indeed
-it could have been but a dream.
-
-Kilby was a picturesque village among the Derbyshire hills. A stream ran
-through the smiling little valley. It meandered through the rectory
-grounds. There was no regular village street. There were groups of
-cottages clustering together about the old inn, and around the church.
-The rectory was a grey stone, gabled house, in grounds that the Reverend
-John Paull had enlarged and improved each year since he “read himself
-in” twenty-seven years ago. In front of the house was a large, square
-lawn, with spreading beeches and straight conifers on either side.
-Opposite, a yew hedge divided the lawn from the beautiful flower garden
-with the masses of bloom bordering the winding paths. Then came the
-river, famous for its succulent trout, and beyond, grassy banks, a row
-of elms, and the sloping hills.
-
-Although Hugh missed the genial presence of his sweet-faced little
-mother, his father seemed determined to be cheery during his visit, and
-his sisters Maud and Daisy had made up their minds to be bright in their
-brother’s presence, so only indulged in their inevitable fits of grief
-in private.
-
-“Do not let—Hugh—miss me,” had been their mother’s constant exhortation
-during her last brief illness. “He is such a gloomy boy. Pray be
-cheerful with him.”
-
-Mrs. Paull herself had lived cheerfully; and as she had lived, so she
-died—with a smile of encouragement to those around her on her lips. To
-her, life was merely one scene in the eternal drama of the human soul.
-
-When the rector chose the words, “She is not dead, but sleepeth,” to be
-engraven on the stone at the head of her grave, he felt indeed that his
-Maggie was not, could not be dead. Dead? Sometimes he believed they were
-nearer and dearer to each other now than when for the first time he took
-his love into his arms and kissed her lips.
-
-Thus it was hardly a house of mourning into which Hugh came. As soon as
-he became accustomed to the empty chair, the absence of the kindly
-voice, and the sombre garments of his sisters and the maids, he
-successfully fought low spirits.
-
-The ordeal of the first visit to his mother’s grave over, he also
-struggled to be unselfish, and not to add to his father’s and sisters’
-grief by a mournful presence. So he walked about the parish with the
-rector as usual, drove his sisters in the pony-chaise, and fished with
-them in the old haunts of the capricious trout, which sometimes suddenly
-and unaccountably changed their favourite lurking-places, and as
-suddenly and unaccountably returned to them again.
-
-In the evenings, when the Rector glanced through the papers and the
-girls worked by the light of the shaded lamps, he told them stories of
-the hospital: the strange beings that came under his notice, the hard,
-cruel tales of some of their lives.
-
-About a week after his arrival, he was reminded of Sir Roderick. In the
-weekly journal, _Speculative Thought_, there was a letter on some
-subject that bore upon certain theories he held in regard to animal
-magnetism. It was signed “R. Pym.” At dinner he inquired of his father
-whether he had noticed it. He had not. So, after dinner Hugh read it
-aloud.
-
-“Why, I should have thought you had written that,” said his father.
-“That is a pet theory of yours, is it not?”
-
-“The old thief!” said Hugh, half to himself, but with an amused smile.
-“At least, I have no right to say that. It is written by Sir Roderick
-Pym. Of that I have little or no doubt. We had a discussion on the
-subject. He defended the opposite view. Now, he is on my side. That is
-what I can’t make out.”
-
-“You brought him round to your way of thinking, I suppose,” said the
-rector, with a satisfied glance at his son. “You certainly have the gift
-of persuasion. Many a time, in our walks and talks, you have staggered
-me. I have felt that your hypotheses were uncalled for and preposterous.
-But for the life of me I could not advance anything solid in the way of
-refutation.”
-
-“You certainly haven’t got the gift of persuasion, papa,” said the
-fair-haired, round-faced Daisy. “Giles was drunk again last night. Mary
-Giles has a black eye to-day. I am sure I thought your sermon on Sunday
-week would do something. But old Brown went to the Arms just the same
-all last week, Mrs. Brown told me. I said, quite aghast: ‘What! after
-papa’s sermon?’ And she said: ‘Lawk, miss, Brown do go to church, I
-know, but he allers settles hisself for a good sleep while the sermon’s
-a-goin’ on.’”
-
-“One man, single-handed, is powerless against alcohol,” said the rector,
-helplessly. “I’ve fought it these seven-and-twenty years, and haven’t
-scored a point. If they will drink, they will drink—an earthquake would
-not stop them.”
-
-The conversation drifted away from Sir Roderick Pym. But next morning it
-drifted back again.
-
-“There is a letter for you, Hugh; such a curious-looking letter,” said
-Maud, a tall, dark, handsome girl, who was pouring out the tea and
-coffee when her brother came down to breakfast. “A most original
-handwriting. You must tell me whose it is. I have been reading up
-graphology lately, and there seems to me a great deal of sense in it. At
-least, my friends’ handwritings correspond wonderfully with what I know
-of their characters.”
-
-“I warn you, Maud is getting quite a dangerous person,” said Daisy, with
-wide-open eyes. “I found her reading one of your medical books the other
-day, Hugh.”
-
-But Hugh did not hear, or heed her. He was turning over the square, grey
-envelope, with a big black P stamped on the flap. The first
-communication from Sir Roderick after ten weeks’ silence. There was no
-mistaking the large, crooked scrawl. The stamp was stuck on corner-ways.
-After turning over the closed letter once more, he replaced it by his
-plate and began his breakfast. He could not bring himself to open that
-letter in the presence of his sisters. Why, he could not have told.
-
-“You are not going to open your letter?” asked Daisy, wonderingly, as
-she took her brother’s egg out of the egg-boiler.
-
-He was saved the reply by the entrance of his father. After breakfast,
-he escaped into the garden; and there, by the river, among the flowers
-and in the sunshine, the first link of the terrible life-chain which was
-to crush his heart was forged. He opened the letter. If he could have
-guessed, have known, would he have cast it from him into the stream to
-be carried away—out of his reach and ken, for ever? In after days he
-asked himself this with untold bitterness of soul, but no answer came.
-
-The contents of the envelope, which had been redirected and forwarded by
-the secretary of the hospital, were simple enough.
-
-Sir Roderick wrote, dating from the Pinewood, near F——, Surrey, as
-follows:—
-
- “My good young Friend,—It must be about time for you to claim a
- holiday. Let it be spent here. You will like the place; that it will
- be congenial I feel sure. Let me know day and hour, and the carriage
- will meet you at F—— Station.
-
- “Yours, RODERICK PYM.”
-
-Hugh read it twice, thrice. At first, he had (so he thought) been full
-of self-gratulation that he had so complete an excuse to decline the
-invitation as this, that his furlough from hospital, spent in his own
-home, was nearly at an end. But, as he paced the garden walk, he
-wondered whether, in reality, he had won over Sir Roderick to his views
-upon the subject of that letter to the weekly journal _Speculative
-Thought_, or whether the baronet had written it in one of his sardonic
-humours as a sort of grim jest. He would like to know. Perhaps Sir
-Roderick had been laughing at him in his sleeve during those long talks
-in the hospital. Gruesome thought, not to be borne! But he would like to
-know.
-
-“I should do no harm by running down for a day,” he thought. “I could
-even leave before the dinner hour, and not have to encounter Lady Pym.”
-
-The portrait in the locket, no less than the silence on the subject of
-Sir Roderick’s young wife on the part of the housekeeper and Mr. Edmund
-Pym, had prejudiced Hugh greatly against the lady to whom he had indited
-that telegram. Sir Roderick’s contempt for women, too, induced the idea
-that L. Pym, however charming she might be, was not a woman to deserve
-either respect or love.
-
-Seldom vacillating, to-day Hugh was as irresolute as any woman. One
-minute he resolved to accept the invitation, the next he told himself it
-would be better to let it stand over for the present. At last he got
-angry with himself, went into the house, asked Maud if he might use her
-davenport in the drawing-room, and presently posted a letter to Sir
-Roderick with his own hands, lest once more he should change his mind.
-In this he accepted the invitation to the Pinewood for the following
-Saturday morning.
-
-Why he was reluctant to enlighten his family on this subject, he could
-not for the life of him make out. But whenever he neared it in
-conversation, he felt uncomfortable. The days passed. He told them all
-he should return to town the following Friday. But of the projected
-visit to the Pinewood he said not one word.
-
-The sweet summer days came and went, one by one. Once more Hugh said
-good-bye, perhaps for months, to the old garden; had a farewell fish in
-the river, and after a reluctant parting with father and sisters,
-returned—to meet his strange fate.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER III.
- EXTRACT FROM THE DIARY OF HUGH PAULL.
-
-
- July—, 18—.
-
-Am I awake? Is my visit to the Pinewood a dream? No, no, it has all
-happened—one of the strangest experiences that ever befell mortal man.
-
-It has been like a visit to some new world: the impressions have been so
-strong. It is the Pinewood which seems the reality, and this, my
-hospital life, a dream. To my horror, things are growing shadowy. I
-cannot concentrate my thoughts upon my cases; and when the fellows or
-the nurses ask me anything, I am not “all there.” At last the climax
-came this morning. An epileptic case came in, and Dr. Hildyard asked my
-opinion upon his diagnosis. My mind was a blank. Suddenly I could have
-sworn I heard a laugh—_her_ laugh.
-
-I will write it all down, that is what I will do; then perhaps I may
-forget.
-
-I left London last Saturday week morning, in the full possession of my
-senses (of that I feel sure). I can remember everything—all the details
-of the journey down to F——, through the heathery moorland, the firwoods,
-the cornfields.
-
-No one waiting at F—— station. Taking my bag, I was leaving, intending
-to make inquiries as to the whereabouts of the Pinewood and to walk,
-when an old coachman, perched up on the driving-seat of a high dogcart,
-touched his hat and said:
-
-“The gentleman for the Pinewood?”
-
-“I am going to the Pinewood,” I said.
-
-“The doctor, sir, what attended Sir Roderick in London?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-I got up, and we drove off. The skittish bay (Reindeer) went like the
-wind at first along the smooth highroad, through snug villages, past
-outhouses, between hop-gardens, till we came to the hills covered with
-pine-forest.
-
-“This is the Pinewood, sir,” said the old man; “as far as you can see a
-tree.”
-
-That was much farther than I could see. The slopes were clad with the
-straight, tall trees, from slim saplings to lofty giants, until the dark
-green outlines of the hills melted into the lilac haze of the horizon.
-
-Driving less quickly uphill, he told me something about his master and
-his habits.
-
-“You must excuse my not believin’ in you at first sight, sir,” he said;
-“but so few gen’l’men comes here, and they’re not young gen’l’men, but
-them as pokes about after beetles or goes butterfly catching. Some goes
-out with a hammer, and knocks the stones about. And as for a lady—well,
-sir, I suppose you know Sir Roderick can’t abide the sight of a
-petticoat?”
-
-I murmured something. I was certainly not going to discuss my host with
-one of his servants. Fortunately, we were now in the grounds.
-
-What a dream of beauty!
-
-Velvety, mosslike hillocks, among the stern clumps of pines; whole
-glades of bracken in narrow dells, fairy sporting grounds; then, an
-occasional oasis of garden, apparently growing spontaneously among the
-woodland. Here and there a flight of steps, leading to the shrubbery of
-high laurels and conifers, or a small white-stone temple; now and again
-a stone bench, flanked by cypresses and urns on pedestals—such a bench
-as one sees in the gardens in Italy.
-
-Then, suddenly, a dip in the land to the right, disclosing a tiny park,
-with some beeches and elms, and in its centre a circular garden,
-surrounding a white-domed building.
-
-“A chapel?” I asked.
-
-“It was wonst,” my conductor told me; “but not in my time. We none of us
-knows nothink about wot’s inside. They do talk about that chapel, folks
-do. My opinion is, that there’s nothink in it; it just amuses Sir
-Roderick to tease their curiosity.”
-
-Then a sharp turn and a short drive between thick firwoods brought us to
-a strange place.
-
-A long, high wall—the wall of a solid building; for there was a porch, a
-door, and long, narrow windows on either side. If the whole façade had
-had windows it would have looked like a museum, for on the top there was
-a balustrade crowned at intervals with small, funereal-looking urns.
-
-The place looked mouldy and dismal even on this glorious summer day.
-
-“Well?” I said, for Thomas drew up before the door.
-
-“Well, sir, if you just give that bell hanging to the right of the door
-a good pull, they’ll hear you.”
-
-Did Sir Roderick’s eccentricity extend to his living in a semi-tomb? As
-I pulled the bell, and heard a distant, feeble clang, I looked somewhat
-disconsolately after the comfortable-looking dogcart driving away,
-remembering some of the ancient Greek philosophers’ predilections for
-doing their work among the tombs.
-
-Out of perversity, I daresay, I felt utterly disinclined for
-philosophical disquisitions in this tomb-like place; in fact, I yearned
-for a real boyish holiday in those grounds with young, merry companions
-(I had better be truthful with myself).
-
-What was my dismay when a solemn-looking old servitor in black (he had
-white hair and a “white choker,” and looked like a _major-domo_ of State
-funerals) ushered me into a vault-like crypt. There were niches in the
-walls and more urns. He offered to take my bag. I clutched it tight,
-expecting some grim jest on the part of my host. When he said, “Will you
-please walk this way, sir,” and, opening a door, disclosed a long,
-vault-like passage, I hesitated; but he slouched off at such a rate, and
-the echo of his footsteps clattering on the stone pavement was so loud,
-I could not stop him, so I followed in silence—down a flight of stone
-steps, round a corner, down another darker and narrower staircase (all
-lighted dimly by tiny yellow-glass windows in the wall), until, when I
-was emerging into total darkness, I paused.
-
-“I can’t see!” I shouted, really annoyed.
-
-Sir Roderick could not be living underground—that was all nonsense. He
-was playing a trick upon me, and would think it fine fun.
-
-“I will strike a match,” I added, crossly; but the old man pulled open a
-door.
-
-The landing just below me was suddenly flooded with light. Stepping
-down, I turned and followed him into a large conservatory.
-
-What a magical change! The blue clear light from the glass dome showed
-up each frond of the great tree-ferns, each grand leaf of the palms,
-each yellow orange and white-waxen blossom of the orange-trees. Huge
-crimson blooms hung upon the thick festoons of the sub-tropical creeping
-plants, and there was my friend the Cape jessamine strengthening the
-warm, intoxicating perfume of the gardenias, daphnes, and, above all, of
-the orange-blossom.
-
-It was a relief to be out of the scented atmosphere and in an ordinary,
-square hall, which had a billiard-table in the centre.
-
-My _cicerone_ asked me to wait; but after opening various doors and
-exploring several rooms, he came to me with a rueful expression.
-
-“They _was_ here half-an-hour ago,” he said; “but they must be out now.
-Lor! why they’re on the lawn. Come along, sir!”
-
-He must have caught sight of “them” through a window. He opened the
-hall-door, and I saw a lawn with spreading trees, under one of which Sir
-Roderick was seated in a basket-chair, smoking. At his feet lay a huge
-mastiff. By his side sat a lady, bending over a book, her face shaded by
-a broad-brimmed hat.
-
-My conductor had shut the door, and left me to my fate. I walked across
-the lawn, thinking to myself that under that hat was the face I had seen
-in Sir Roderick’s locket.
-
-No—as she suddenly looked up—it was not the same! What! that wild-rose,
-tender young face, with large grey eyes, the same as that saucy,
-imperious minx of the portrait? No relation, I could swear it.
-
-“Well, Hamlet!” Sir Roderick was quite warm in his welcome.
-
-“I didn’t look myself. No, unmistakably I did not. Overwork, of course;
-the foul atmosphere, too. Oh! I might say what I liked. Mine was a good
-hospital in its way, doubtless; but all the same, the atmosphere was a
-foul one. Else, why the disinfectants?”
-
-“You mentioned some unheard-of sum that you annually spend in
-disinfectants, and you can’t deny it,” he said. “Well, here you will
-have Nature’s disinfectants—pure air, and the scent of the pines and the
-heather and the hay. But I have not introduced you. Lilia, this is Dr.
-Paull.”
-
-The lovely girl, who wore white stuff with something red twisted round
-her waist, had been looking at me like children taken to the Zoo for the
-first time look at the wild beasts.
-
-She did not bow to me. I felt the blood come to my face. What on earth
-was she staring at? Then she turned to him, and said slowly:
-
-“_Doctor_ Paull?”
-
-It was not flattering, but I understood.
-
-“You are right—not _Doctor_,” I said. “There is much work before me
-before I can claim that title. I am only a medical student—”
-
-“Bosh!” interrupted Sir Roderick. “I know what Lilia means. I never have
-any young men here; she expected one of the old fogies. That’s it, isn’t
-it, child?”
-
-“Yes,” she said, nodding. “But—do you care for butterflies or beetles?
-No? Dear me! Oh, you are a botanist!”
-
-I hastened to disclaim the soft impeachments.
-
-“Then”—she knit her brow, and looked like a child making up an old
-woman’s face—“then you like geology?”
-
-I remembered Thomas’ mention of the visitors who went about with
-hammers, and responded gravely to my catechist.
-
-“I prefer to look at Nature and to ask no questions,” I said.
-
-Then there was some talk of the covered way from the road above, which
-my host informed me was built by his father.
-
-“He had some peculiar pleasure in startling people,” he said. “He used
-to give out that he was a social hermit; and although he lived down here
-much like other people live, would go about in town strangely dressed
-and behave oddly. My poor father was very eccentric.”
-
-He made the remark so innocently that I involuntarily glanced at his
-companion. She seemed unaware that there was anything _naïf_ in those
-words, and met my eyes with a deep, enquiring look. I have never seen
-such child eyes in a woman’s face.
-
-Then the luncheon bell rang, and I was conducted to my room by a
-blushing youth in livery. I was burning to know who “Lilia” was—for that
-brief introduction was all that I had had—but I could not ask the
-_gauche_ young footman (evidently a “new hand”). So I washed my hands
-and wondered, as I gazed round the quaint old room. It must be an old
-house, although from the lawn it looked modern, and foreign, with its
-brilliantly white walls and bright green shutters. The flooring, though
-spotless, was old; the ceiling low. There was a fourposter of carved
-wood black with age, and the mahogany furniture, which shone like
-mirrors, was of an ancient pattern. White dimity hung about, and there
-was a fresh scent of lavender.
-
-Going downstairs, I noticed that the shallow stairs were of old oak,
-likewise the balustrade; but the dining-room, to which Sir Roderick, who
-met me in the hall, escorted me, was of newer fashion—a square room with
-massive furniture, and hung with paintings.
-
-“All Pyms,” said my host, following my eyes as, seated at “Lilia’s”
-right, I ate my soup. Then ensued some talk about the various dark
-visages that frowned down from the black canvases. To all appearance,
-misanthropy ran in the family. Most of these bilious-looking ancestors
-seemed to have done something strange; and the nearer they had drifted
-to contempt of social law, the more unctuously Sir Roderick related
-their exploits. Meanwhile the gentle Lilia listened with wide-open eyes
-and evident interest.
-
-“But that? Surely that one is not a Pym!” I said, indicating a portrait
-in an oval Florentine frame that hung conspicuously over the
-mantelpiece—in fact, in solitary glory, while the other portraits were
-somewhat huddled together.
-
-“And pray, why not?” asked my host dryly, after a moment’s pause.
-
-I looked again. A sunbeam lighted up the laughing face of a fair young
-man, with large blue eyes and the very much-curved lips which always
-produce the effect of a sneer. To me they are painful, recalling the
-cruel _risus sardonicus_ which I have never seen without distress.
-
-“Why not?” I repeated, stupidly. “Oh! because he is so unlike all the
-others, I suppose.”
-
-“Do you not see any likeness?” he quietly asked presently, after he had
-carved a fowl and insisted on giving me the breast.
-
-I looked around.
-
-“Oh, not to the pictures—to Lilia!” he cried, impatiently.
-
-“No, I cannot say I do,” I said, glancing at my hostess.
-
-I smiled; but I did not feel at all like smiling. My—was it dread?—to
-find so young a girl the wife of so old a man made me flinch at any
-suggestion which strengthened such a possibility.
-
-“They are both Pyms!” he said, quite irritably. “You have evidently no
-eye for likenesses. Of course, there are dark Pyms and fair Pyms. The
-fair Pyms are upstairs in a corridor.”
-
-“Women,” said the fair Lilia explanatorily to me. “Papa dislikes women
-so much, he won’t have their portraits about him.”
-
-I had been on the point of calling the child Lady Pym, and she was his
-daughter! Fool that I had been!
-
-“Because they simper and attitudinise,” said Sir Roderick. “If they
-behaved as sensibly as men I should like them as well.”
-
-“That’s not saying very much,” said Lilia, with an amused look at me.
-“Papa is not enamoured of his fellow-men.”
-
-“Do you want me to be hail-fellow well-met with Tom, Dick, and Harry?”
-he said, frowning at the daughter who was so unlike him that I began to
-think more charitably of my mistake.
-
-“You know I don’t. I like you just as you are!” said his daughter,
-looking adorable with an infantine smile of love and trust brightening
-her sweet face.
-
-It was like a personal sunshine. I felt it so, later, when she deigned
-to shine upon me; and every time it humbled me, and made me feel coarse,
-clumsy, unworthy, a very clod; and now it, or the memory of it, comes
-back here—it shines suddenly upon a poor sufferer’s face upon the
-pillow, and the patient vanishes and I see Lilia.
-
-This won’t do. I must return to my statement.
-
-After luncheon, Sir Roderick sent me out into the grounds with his
-daughter. From first to last he purposely threw us together. What his
-motive was I cannot imagine. Motive he has: I have seen enough to know
-that he never acts without one.
-
-Lilia told me so much as we wandered, first about the Italian garden
-just outside the dining-room windows, then across the lawns into the
-pinewoods. It was so difficult to check her childish confidences, which
-she poured out as a little creature just finding the use of its tongue
-will babble as it trots along holding one’s hand. They treated me, all
-of them, at the Pinewood, except one, of whom more presently, with
-simple trust; even Nero, the old mastiff, slouched along at our heels
-with his big tongue out, panting, as if I were an old friend. I must
-never, even in thought, betray that trust. I must never forget that to
-aspire would be a breach of that sacred confidence—never, never! On this
-subject I pray, as the octogenarian said in Dickens’ _Haunted Man_,
-“Lord, keep my memory green!”
-
-She talked of her father—well and good.
-
-“Papa has no patience with frivolity,” she said. “He only has sympathy
-with people who do their duty. That is what every one ought to feel, is
-it not? Ah! I thought you would say ‘Yes.’ Of course, it is much nicer
-when you like doing your duty, isn’t it? Those old men who come here and
-beetle-hunt and botanise, or go poring over the books in the library,
-not only like what they have to do in life, they love it. I do envy
-them.”
-
-“But you—you like your life, do you not?” I asked.
-
-Just then we came to a clearing in the wood. A giant pine, lately
-felled, lay prone among the ferns and mosses. She stopped.
-
-“Let us sit down a moment,” she said; “you take my breath away.”
-
-She seated herself on the trunk, looking like the embodied spirit of the
-pinewood in her white gown. Nero stood for a few minutes watching me as
-I sat down beside her, then slouched up and lay down at his mistress’
-feet, one eye fixed on me. Evidently this proceeding was new to him. The
-botanists and gentlemen of the hammer did _not_ care to sit on felled
-trunks and talk with the daughter of the house.
-
-“I said that,” she went on, “because it was just as if you knew how
-treasonable my thoughts have been lately. I have actually been wishing
-to travel, and see the world!”
-
-I asked her what treason there was in that.
-
-“Such an idea, in me, is treason itself!” she said, almost
-indignantly—“when my father despises the world, and would rather
-anything should happen than that I should go beyond the Pinewood.”
-
-Then I was amazed by the disclosure that this sweet young creature had
-lived all her life shut up in the Pinewood, almost as much a prisoner as
-a princess in a fairy-tale immured in a high tower. Her only companions
-and friends had been her nurses, the clergyman and his wife, and her
-cousin Roderick, the fair young man with a sneer whose portrait I had
-said to be unlike the Pyms.
-
-Without governesses or tutors, Lilia has managed to learn a great deal.
-Latin and Greek are not dead languages to her, and she and her father
-chatter away in Italian like natives. But in the ordinary affairs of
-life, poor dear child, how ignorant she is!
-
-Sitting there with myself, still almost an absolute stranger, she spoke
-out her heart as if I were a dear old friend returned after a long
-separation, and actually asked my advice. Mine!
-
-It seemed that she had mentioned this desire to see other places to her
-cousin Roderick, who was a favourite nephew of her father’s, although he
-would not have anything to do with his family. She and this Roderick had
-been brought up together like brother and sister playing and
-sympathising and bickering in the usual fashion. Only when she had
-confided her treasonable ideas to him had he shocked her by a
-supplementary suggestion, which seemed to have made a terrible
-impression upon her.
-
-“We have quarrelled, and never, never can be the same again,” she told
-me in much agitation. “My father does not know it, and has asked
-Roderick to dinner to meet you. What _shall_ I do?”
-
-She was quite tragic. I could hardly help smiling. But seeing how
-sensitive she was—a natural sensibility greatly increased by a life of
-unnatural seclusion—I repressed a smile, and said:
-
-“See your cousin before dinner, and ‘make it up,’ as the children say.”
-
-“Oh, I _couldn’t!_” she said, in distress. “He won’t make it up.”
-
-“Then you have tried him?”
-
-She nodded.
-
-“It has been a dreadful shock to me,” she said. “If you knew, you would
-understand.”
-
-After a little coaxing, she spoke, or rather blurted out:
-
-“If you _must_ know—he actually—asked me—to marry him!”
-
-Nothing so very dreadful, I suppose; but, under the circumstances, rash,
-to say the least—for Lilia admitted that her father was in total
-ignorance.
-
-“He would never look at Roderick again,” she assured me. “Don’t say
-‘nonsense.’ I tell you he would not. I am never to marry!”
-
-“Why not?” I asked, perversely.
-
-She looked at me almost with indignation.
-
-“Marriage means misery,” she said, oracularly.
-
-“You mean, that Sir Roderick thinks it does,” I suggested.
-
-“He knows it,” she said, with emphasis, below her breath.
-
-I was silent with confusion. The next word, and Lilia might unbosom
-herself of secrets not her own—sacred to her father—not from any malice
-aforethought, but through the spontaneity to which she was bred by that
-very father. It behoved me to be cautious.
-
-“I really should tell Sir Roderick if I were you,” I hazarded. “It is
-only what he would reasonably expect. Cousins often marry. The
-contingency must have occurred to him.”
-
-At that moment I was inclined to think that such an issue might even
-have been planned by my self-sufficient host.
-
-“I thought you knew him!” she cried, recoiling from me a little.
-
-Nero got up and stood between us, looking suspiciously at me.
-
-I explained, apologetically, that although Sir Roderick and I had talked
-over the questions of humanity in the abstract, we had not arrived at
-the domestic problems.
-
-“The most important of all,” she said, somewhat pompously.
-
-“Granted,” I said. “And problems that can, unfortunately, only be solved
-by individual experience.”
-
-“Ah! you acknowledge that,” she said, with a sort of exultation. “You
-really uphold my father’s theory—that the risk is too great. He loves
-both Roderick and myself so well that he has preached the delights of
-celibacy to us ever since I can recollect.”
-
-“His preaching has had more effect upon you than upon your cousin,
-evidently,” I suggested.
-
-“I fear so,” she said, in a sorrowful tone which reproached me for my
-feeling this talk, so seriously in her estimation, almost absurd. “Poor,
-dear Roderick! I would rather do anything than ‘sneak,’ as he used to
-call it. But papa will be sure to notice something.”
-
-“Cannot you act—pretend?” I hazarded.
-
-She shook her head.
-
-“I never tried,” she said; “it has never been necessary.”
-
-“I daresay he will be equal to the occasion,” I said. “Your cousin is in
-the army, is he not? Oh! he is captain already? He has told you a good
-deal about life in camp, in barracks?”
-
-“Lots,” she said.
-
-(Doubtless lots, Captain Pym!)
-
-“Well, you know, officers can be silent when necessary, and know how to
-veil their opinions and feelings.” (I yearned to say, “know how to tell
-lies,” but checked myself.) “If I were you, I should be just the same to
-him to-night: I should ignore his unlucky suggestion, and behave exactly
-as if he had never made it.”
-
-Lilia resolved to take my advice, and we strolled in the gardens and
-into the enclosed park. I tried to find out something about the chapel
-in the circular garden, but she was evidently on guard.
-
-I thought of her, dear child, while I was dressing. How few real friends
-she could have had! These Mervyns, the rector and his wife, seemed the
-only ones. I was anxious to see them. They had been invited for the
-evening. Lilia told me “they never would come to dinner; it was no use
-asking them.”
-
-I went downstairs very soon after the second dressing bell rang. The
-drawing-room, which is all chocolate-colour, white, and gilding, struck
-me as like a picture I had recently seen. The room was lighted by short,
-thick wax-candles in wall candelabra. In the middle of the room an
-enormous china bowl of white roses on a round black table perfumed the
-air. The other object which attracted my attention was a huge grand
-piano in ebony.
-
-I was just going round to ascertain the maker’s name, when someone
-jumped up from an easy-chair—Captain Roderick.
-
-“Hulloa!” he said (he had a newspaper in his hand), “it’s Mr. Paull,
-isn’t it?”
-
-I shook hands with him. A prodigiously good-looking fellow, this cousin,
-and good company. It was a lively dinner-table. Lilia, child as she is,
-soon cast aside the stately manner she had put on outside the
-drawing-room door when she came sailing in to interrupt our
-_tête-à-tête_; and she laughed and talked with us all till over dessert
-we none of us noticed how time fled, until the footman announced that
-“Mr. and Mrs. Mervyn were in the drawing-room, and coffee was served.”
-
-Mr. Mervyn, the clergyman of the parish, is a tall, dark man with white
-hair and keen black eyes. His wife is one of those large, soft, fair
-women with gentle faces and sweet manners, who can nevertheless be stern
-and unflinching when there is a question of right and wrong—the very
-woman for a sick nurse.
-
-While we men talked over our coffee, Roderick sat down to the piano and
-sang: little Italian folk-songs and German _lieder_. When he was
-singing, there was a simplicity about him that gave him a likeness to
-_her_. She hung over the piano, and seemed almost to forget where she
-was. When I remembered her confidences a few hours ago, I was puzzled.
-
-Did she love him—or his music?
-
-Presently, my question was answered. When he had sung half-a-dozen
-_chansonnettes_, he rose and came across to us.
-
-“You like music, doctor?” he asked.
-
-“I like yours,” I said emphatically.
-
-“Has Lilia sung to you yet?” he asked.
-
-“No, and I do not intend to,” said the young lady, jumping up from the
-sofa where she was sitting by Mrs. Mervyn, and joining us.
-
-“And pray why not?” asked Sir Roderick.
-
-She shook her head and turned aside. For a minute or two I naturally
-felt embarrassed. But I saw that Mrs. Mervyn was expostulating with her,
-and presently, after I had taken part in a conversation suddenly started
-by Mr. Mervyn on the strange vagaries of nervous diseases, _apropos_ of
-an afflicted poor person he wished me to see, Lilia rose and came back,
-looking penitent.
-
-“Can I speak?” she began, humbly, when a pause came. “Thanks! I will
-sing for you with pleasure, Mr. Paull.”
-
-“Not unless you tell us the reason of your extraordinary caprice,” said
-Sir Roderick, half-bantering, half annoyed. “Come, out with it!”
-
-“You insist, papa?” She spoke pleadingly.
-
-“I do.”
-
-“Mr. Paull reminds me of that dreadful time you were ill—away. I could
-not sing anything lively; I should choke.”
-
-It was good to see the expression on that old man’s face. There was such
-a royal content on his fine old features as he looked up at his child.
-
-“Sing one of your morbidities, then,” he said. “Ha! I know! Sing Hamlet
-that little Danish song. He ought to like that, naturally.” He was
-suddenly in high good humor.
-
-She went obediently to the piano, took off her long mittens and
-bracelets (which she handed to Roderick as a matter of course), and sang
-a sweet, weird melody to Ophelia’s pitiful verses; sang it simply, with
-a clear, noble voice, the voice of a human being with a great soul.
-
-It affected me, and I think that my emotion was the cause of my curious
-nervous condition that night.
-
-We retired to our rooms pretty early. My old-looking chamber, with the
-blackened mahogany furniture, was flooded with moonlight. I had no
-intention of dreaming thoughts of the day over again all night long, as
-I have done when sleep has followed some hours’ concentration of thought
-on one subject; so I had borrowed a book from Sir Roderick—a treatise on
-“Somnambulism and other irregular manifestations of the Nervous Force,”
-translated from a work by some Dutch writer, name unknown, which he had
-spoken of.
-
-Armed with this, I subsided into my feather-bed. (That feather-bed had
-something to do with what followed, I believe. I here vow myself to
-further the abolition of feather-beds; they should be taxed, and
-heavily.) I placed two candles on the little table by my bed, propped
-myself up against my pillows, and began to read.
-
-The first chapters of the ponderous tome were soon dismissed. Exploded
-pathology and ancient fallacies filled Part I. of the Dutchman’s
-treatise. Had I felt at all sleepy, I should have laid down the book
-there and then, and have chaffed Sir Roderick next day for recommending
-me such old-fashioned stuff. But I felt absurdly wideawake. So I went
-on.
-
-The introductory page to Part II. of the volume startled me somewhat. At
-first I doubted my eyesight. But there, sure enough, were the words—
-
- “ON THE AGE OF SOULS.”
-
-“What does he mean, the fool?” I thought, turning over. I soon knew.
-
-The man, whoever he may have been, believed in that doctrine of
-transmigration, attributed in its raw state to Pythagoras, who is by
-some thought to have learnt it from the Egyptians; a fantastic notion
-which is still believed in by many Easterns, notably by the Buddhists.
-
-This Dutchman spoke of the soul (the “breath of God”) as being born
-again and again, according to its moral progress; incarnations being its
-rule, until it should become sufficiently purified to be reabsorbed into
-the atmosphere of Divinity (something very like the Nirvana of
-Buddhism). I smiled, and thought that, judging by the people I had met,
-the world (according to the Dutchman) is likely to be well populated for
-a good many years to come.
-
-“By their fruits shall ye know them,” wrote the Hollander, who was
-addicted to quotations, especially from Holy Writ. The good man, in
-enumerating the fatal signs of future reincarnation in individuals (whom
-he spoke of compassionately, for he evidently regarded human life as the
-greatest of ills), mentioned two particular signs, frivolity and
-self-absorption. Frivolity he seemed to hold in special abhorrence, as
-being so very far away from any attribute that might be termed eternal
-or divine.
-
-This chapter “On the Age of Souls” was such diverting reading, that I
-grew wider and wider awake. At last, when two o’clock struck, I got up
-and dressed.
-
-Looking out of window, the garden, bathed in moonlight, was such a
-ravishing sight that I thought—Why not go out for a stroll?
-
-I would. I blew out my candles (I am certain I did), and opening my
-bedroom door as quietly as possible, crept downstairs, shoes in hand.
-Did ever stairs creak like those? Certainly not in my experience.
-Wondering where the dog Nero was, and whether he would be as amiably
-disposed towards a midnight marauder as he was towards his master’s
-guest in broad daylight, I gained the hall.
-
-Then I remembered the bolts and bars. Should they be in as noisy a
-humour as the stairs, I should have to give up and go back—not to that
-hot feather-bed, but to my room.
-
-Without in the least thinking it possible that the door to the garden
-would be unlocked, I tried the handle.
-
-To my surprise, the door was unlocked. I was so astonished, that I stood
-there for a whole minute thinking how foolhardy was Sir Roderick, or how
-culpably careless were his servants. Open gates to the grounds, open
-doors to the house! It was positively inviting burglars to do their
-worst!
-
-I thought of this as I walked along the white path, which crackled under
-my feet. I wanted to get out of sight and out of the hearing of any
-wakeful member of the household, so I went on and on, disregarding the
-tempting odour of the orange-blossoms in the Italian garden, the
-tempting sight of the terrace, with its white marble urns, benches,
-straight cypresses, and picturesque aloes, and was soon in the pinewood,
-among the gloomy trees.
-
-It was gloomy. Standing still to listen, the silence was oppressive.
-Then, all of a sudden, there was a shrill skreel that made me start; and
-some bird, I suppose, came flapping out of the darkness and went
-fluttering away into the shadow. It must have been a bird, although it
-looked too big even to be a giant owl or a raven.
-
-I laughed at my scared sensation, and walked briskly onward. Presently I
-came to a clearing where the grass was mown, and there was a bench
-against a clump of tall laurels.
-
-I was going towards this with the intention of resting awhile, when I
-stopped short. A lady was seated in the corner, in the shadow.
-
-Good heavens! It might be Lilia! She was just the girl to wander about
-out of doors on a hot night. I did not know whether I was glad or sorry
-when the being rose and came towards me. To my amazement, I saw a very
-graceful woman, in a white gown of some stuff which shimmered in the
-moonlight. A veil of black gauze or lace was about her head and neck.
-
-“You are not—angry?” she said in a slow way; she had a foreign accent.
-“Come, I must speak.”
-
-As she said the word “must,” she actually placed her hand on my arm in
-the most familiar way, and half led me across the grass plat.
-
-“We will go to the terrace and talk,” she said presently, in quite an
-imperious manner.
-
-I was so numbed by surprise, that I had gone passively with her some
-distance along the path that led away from the house or grounds before I
-had made up my mind what to do. She was no ghost. As she pressed close
-against my arm, I felt solidity and warmth. Then it flashed across me.
-She was dressed in quite queenly fashion. Of course! An escaped lunatic
-from a well-known private asylum in the neighbourhood. I stopped,
-withdrew her hand gently and respectfully, and suggested that she must
-be very tired.
-
-“Allow me to take you home, princess,” I said, haphazard.
-
-I had seemingly struck the right chord.
-
-“Do not call me that any more!” she said, passionately. “I am less than
-you! Far less!”
-
-Once more she took my arm, and hurried me along an uphill path I had not
-seen. To our left, below us, was the park, with the round chapel in the
-garden; to our right was a plateau, a long, wide, grassy avenue, with
-fine trees on either side.
-
-My strange companion turned abruptly to the right, and almost dragged me
-along a grassy path that went straight to the end of the avenue, between
-beds of overgrown shrubs and tangled weeds. My wits were returning. I
-felt inclined to go through with the adventure. She was evidently a
-lady. There was no hidden danger, I felt that.
-
-Half-way up this avenue there was a broken-down fountain. Around was a
-circular grass plat. As we reached this the lady relinquished my arm,
-stepped back, and began speaking rapidly in a language I have not yet
-heard. At the end, she seized my hand, and before I could snatch it
-away, kissed it.
-
-I felt horribly unnerved. I begged her to let me take her home.
-
-“It is by far too late for you to be here—alone,” I said.
-
-“Late?” she cried, in English. “It is not late!”
-
-“It must be three o’clock,” I said.
-
-Then I took out my watch and tried to see it in the moonlight. Just as I
-did so, a clock struck three.
-
-“You hear?” I said, turning round.
-
-_She was not there!_
-
-It gave me a shock. Then I remembered how swift and noiseless lunatics
-can be. There had been time enough for her to slip away under the trees.
-First, I listened. Not a sound; not the rustle of a falling leaf, not
-the crackle of a twig. Then I searched, and called; until a sudden
-uncanny sensation that I was the subject of some temporary delirium sent
-me, flying almost, towards the house.
-
-I was thankful to see its white walls, to find the door open, and to
-gain my room.
-
-As soon as I had done so, I felt such sudden fatigue that I got back
-into bed again as quickly as I could, and fell asleep directly.
-
-I have set this down just as it seemed to me to be happening, neither
-more nor less.
-
-Now comes the, to me, most curious part.
-
-I was awakened by the footman bringing me the hot water. After he had
-gone out of the room, I turned to get up, when my attention was arrested
-by the china candlesticks on the table by the bed. The candles were
-burnt out, and the china rims were blackened.
-
-“I put those out; I could have sworn it,” I said to myself. I remembered
-noticing the peculiar shape of one of the gutterings. It was like a
-monkey crawling up a stick. Could I have lit them on my return? I
-thought. No! I remembered throwing off my clothes in the moonlight, my
-eyelids weighed down by sudden drowsiness.
-
-While I had my bath and dressed I pondered. No result came from my
-ponderings.
-
-Then I heard fresh young voices, and hurried my dressing. Some feeling
-urged me to interrupt a bantering _tête-à-tête_ between Roderick and
-Lilia. Going down, I found them in the hall: Lilia was standing against
-the billiard-table, frowning; Roderick was talking earnestly to her. He
-stopped speaking when I came in. She blushed.
-
-Why blush? It was no business of mine, of course; but I did not wish to
-find that charming young creature utterly inconsistent. And any
-parleying from a lover point of view, with her cousin, after yesterday’s
-confidences, would prove her undeniably inconsistent.
-
-But the blush faded, and she looked grave when she saw me.
-
-“I am afraid you have had a bad night, Dr. Paull,” she said, kindly.
-
-“Why?” I asked, nodding back good-morning to Captain Pym.
-
-“You look so tired.”
-
-I vouchsafed that I had an early morning stroll, and spoke of the
-unfastened door.
-
-“The door into the garden?”
-
-She looked amazed; and then walked to that door and tried it.
-
-“It is locked and bolted now, whatever it was then,” she said.
-
-I joined her, and sure enough it was.
-
-“The omission must have been found out and rectified,” I said.
-
-Indeed, I was absolutely certain on that point. That door was unchained
-and unbolted at two o’clock that morning.
-
-She was concerned, and begged me as a favour not to mention the fact to
-her father. I did not. He just came into the hall then, and we went in
-to breakfast.
-
-After breakfast, Captain Pym took leave, and started for the camp. Sir
-Roderick settled, in his dogmatic way, that after church (this was
-Sunday) Lilia should take me round the grounds. He seemed astonished
-that I should wish to accompany her to morning service.
-
-“I thought you and I agreed on those subjects,” he said. “I had been
-looking forward to a pipe and a chat while Lilia was on her knees trying
-to propitiate her Fetishes.”
-
-“Just as you please,” I said.
-
-Glancing at Lilia, I fancied she looked disappointed. But Fancy seemed
-to have got me in a vice and to shake me like a dog shakes a rat, all
-the time I was at the Pinewood.
-
-It was settled I should accompany her. Meanwhile I went into the study
-with Sir Roderick, and presently we got upon the subject of the
-Dutchman’s treatise.
-
-“How did you like it?” he asked.
-
-“It is hardly a question of liking,” I said. “The man is as illogical as
-Swedenborg, without the originality or the power.”
-
-He looked surprised.
-
-“How?” he said.
-
-“That chapter ‘On the Age of Souls’ seems to me almost an absurdity,” I
-could not help saying.
-
-“On _what_?” he said, taking his long pipe from his mouth, and staring
-curiously at me.
-
-I repeated what I had said, adding comments on the extravagance of that
-part of the treatise.
-
-He shook his head, puzzled.
-
-“You must be dreaming,” he said. “I have no book in my library
-containing stuff of that sort. Where is it?”
-
-I offered to fetch it, but he had already sounded his hand-gong, and
-James was sent for the volume.
-
-He was absent but a minute, but the time seemed long to me. Sir Roderick
-puffed away at his pipe, with an amused smile which was peculiarly
-exasperating.
-
-His hand went out for the volume as soon as James appeared, and of
-course the young man gave it to his master, who carefully looked it
-through, then handed it to me.
-
-“I cannot find this redoubtable chapter,” he said; “perhaps you can. But
-I flattered myself I knew the book well.”
-
-I began at the beginning, turning over the pages carefully one by one,
-and recognising what I had read overnight. By the time I had come to the
-end of the first chapter I felt more assured. But when I turned over to
-the second, it was totally unfamiliar. I had certainly never read a word
-of it before; and its heading was “On Ordinary Somnambulism.”
-
-I went on turning the pages, feeling as if I was bewitched, until I came
-to the end; but there was no chapter that even alluded to any doctrine
-of transmigration, and certainly no heading bearing the faintest
-resemblance to that curious title, “On the Age of Souls.”
-
-“It is most extraordinary!” I cried. “I could swear to having read what
-I told you about. I remember the very words and the quaint turning of
-the phrases.”
-
-He asked me how I had read it; then laughed at me.
-
-“I hit the mark when I said you were dreaming, Hamlet,” he said. “It has
-often happened to me to continue thinking after dropping asleep, and
-nice bathos the thoughts are!”
-
-He dismissed the matter as a joke; but it was no joke to me. I was
-bewildered. When I think of it now the bewilderment is greater, the
-sense of confused perceptions more alarming.
-
-During the talk which followed, I tried to gain a clue to the strange
-lady I met in the grounds. I casually alluded to the asylum in the
-neighbourhood, and asked if the authorities there were not almost lax in
-their vigilance.
-
-“I cannot help thinking that I met an escaped madwoman, when I was
-taking a walk early this morning,” I said. “She looked, and I think must
-be, insane.”
-
-“You could not have met a lady patient of Dr. Walters’, my dear Hamlet,”
-said Sir Roderick.
-
-I asked, “Why not?”
-
-“For a very good reason, the best of reasons,” he replied: “he hasn’t
-any. He only takes men. In which, I may add, he shows his wisdom, for
-female lunatics are the most disgusting creatures on earth. Pah! let us
-change the subject.”
-
-I was only too glad. But I was not in the least fit for a scientific
-discussion with my host. I felt a dread gradually investing me—a dread
-lest I should find that the deserted spot the strange lady dragged me to
-last night actually existed in the grounds.
-
-If I should come upon it just as it was, I should believe in my
-adventure as a fact. In that case, how about the missing chapter “On the
-Age of Souls”? For if my adventure actually happened, I was not asleep
-and dreaming immediately beforehand; at all events, it was extremely
-improbable that I was.
-
-I was getting considerably strung up, when a tap came at the door, and
-Lilia came in, fresh, sweet in her muslin summer dress, like Dawn
-dispelling the dismal darkness of my thoughts.
-
-“A quarter-past ten, and service begins at eleven,” she said.
-
-“And it is about seven minutes’ walk to the church. Sit down, we are
-talking,” said Sir Roderick, dictatorially.
-
-She looked wistfully at me.
-
-“I thought you wanted to see the grounds,” she said.
-
-“So I do, very much indeed,” I said.
-
-My host did not look best pleased. He little knew what was in my mind.
-
-Nor did she, sweet girl, as we started; and she would stop here and
-there to show me some choice foreign shrub or some new plant, or the
-view from this or that particular spot. All the time I was wondering how
-I should introduce the subject of the neglected plateau with the
-broken-down fountain.
-
-The opportunity came.
-
-“Your father does not allow any part of his shrubberies to run wild,” I
-said; “but I fancied I saw a wild-looking spot among the pines, where
-there were neglected flower-beds and the grass was unmown.”
-
-She shook her head.
-
-“I don’t know of any place about like that,” she said, reflectively.
-“No! I am sure that none of the flower-beds have weeds. Papa hates
-weeds: and weeding gives employment to people who cannot do much else.”
-
-I had hardly time to be reassured by this support of the theory that the
-events of last night meant nightmare and nothing else, when we suddenly
-came upon that clearing with the grass plat. That bench under the
-laurels, where the lady had been sitting, was there. It was the same
-spot I had seen by moonlight—the very same.
-
-“I come here and read sometimes on summer afternoons,” said Lilia,
-looking up at me innocently. “Why, what is the matter, Mr. Paull? You
-are frowning.”
-
-“I was thinking that this is rather a damp place,” I said, “and
-cheerless looking.”
-
-“Not to me,” she said. “But I only come here on really sultry days. When
-it is simply mild, I prefer the terrace. You haven’t seen the terrace.
-Do come, it has a history.”
-
-The terrace! The terrace with a history! So it was _not_ a dream; no,
-something far more disagreeable. Then and there I began to wonder
-whether I had not hit upon a family mystery. As we strolled along the
-path I had walked over but a few hours since with an unknown lady
-hanging familiarly upon my arm, I was imagining a possible elucidation
-of my mystery. Lilia’s mother—of whom I had heard absolutely
-nothing—perhaps mentally afflicted, shut up in some cottage or house on
-the estate, and wandering by night? Other even more extravagant ideas
-occurred to me.
-
-No! that idea was untenable, for my moonlight acquaintance was
-indisputably a very young woman, almost a girl.
-
-At that moment we came to the upward path leading to the plateau. I
-recognised it at once. Below was the park, with the chapel.
-
-But—yes, it _was_ the plateau, but not as I had seen it. The trees were
-pruned, the grass-walks smooth as green velvet, the flower-beds
-brilliant with blossom.
-
-“We often have tea here, papa and I,” said Lilia. “The story goes that
-this was _the_ flower-garden of the old house two hundred years ago, and
-that they used to have afternoon gatherings here, like the
-garden-parties people have now.”
-
-She must have thought me abnormally stupid that Sunday morning. When I
-saw a marble fountain, with water splashing into a basin where gold-fish
-were swimming, instead of the wrecked, broken-down object in my dream, I
-took refuge in silence; and as soon as I could, I left the uncanny spot.
-Whether I had dreamt of it, or of some place like it, of that I felt
-sure—the spot was uncanny.
-
-While we walked through the wood towards the church, Lilia talked, but I
-heard little of what she said. She was telling me some story of a duel
-between the former proprietor of the Pinewood and a supposed friend,
-which had taken place on the terrace, and the chapel below was erected
-in memory of the event. If it was not exactly this, it was very much
-like it; and really I do not care. All that I want now is to find out
-whether my brain played me false that night, and whether I am likely to
-be the victim of brain disease if I go on working as hard as I have
-worked.
-
-That darling girl! How good she was to me, how patient!
-
-In spite of my inward anxiety, I shall always remember that Sunday with
-pleasure. The little whitewashed church, with the honest rustics singing
-hearty hymns to the quavering organ, while sunbeams came and went upon
-the walls, and the quivering foliage of an elm in the churchyard cast
-green lights upon my open prayer-book. The Mervyns are nice people. Mrs.
-Mervyn is a trifle too sharp, perhaps; I saw her eyes fixed upon me now
-and then with rather too scrutinising an expression. But it is very
-pretty, almost touching, to see her ways with that motherless girl. She
-loves her really, the good woman! When we were walking in the garden,
-Lilia and Mr. Mervyn strolling on in front of us, she was so good as to
-tell me she was glad I had come.
-
-“Lilia knows so few young people, and no girls,” she said. “It is a law
-of her father’s, and always has been. Poor dear child! she is really not
-fit to face the world. She knows absolutely nothing of it.”
-
-“Let us hope she may not be called upon to face the world,” I said.
-
-[Here the written pages in a notebook of Hugh Paull’s abruptly ended.]
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IV.
- A MORAL DUEL.
-
-
-“Dr. Hildyard wishes to see you, sir.”
-
-“Where is the doctor?” Hugh asked, putting aside the notebook in which
-he was writing.
-
-A short, square man, with shaggy grey hair and keen blue eyes, came
-bustling in.
-
-“How are you, Paull? Want a few words with you on private business.”
-
-“Certainly,” said Hugh, bringing up a chair; but the doctor impatiently
-waved his hand.
-
-“No, no! I ought to be miles away as it is. Do you remember that case of
-Sir Roderick Pym?”
-
-Did he remember it? But the doctor was utterly unconscious that he was
-ironical.
-
-“Ah! Well, you pulled him round, and watched his progress so closely
-that I should be glad of your opinion in a case of mine, very like his.”
-
-Dr. Hildyard detailed the case, which was one of concussion similar to
-Sir Roderick’s; and the next time Hugh was off duty he accompanied the
-well-known specialist to see his patient, a middle-aged lady, whose
-brougham had been overturned by collision with a dray-cart.
-
-He felt the distinction of his opinion being sought by so great a man
-keenly, but kept this most unusual honour a secret, even when writing
-home. Meanwhile, he gave his opinion modestly, but firmly. That opinion
-was in favour of a different course of treatment to the one pursued by
-Dr. Hildyard.
-
-Dr. Hildyard modified his treatment, and liked the young man all the
-more for speaking frankly. A frank, bold man himself, he hated
-sycophants.
-
-When, a few weeks later, the patient died, he said:
-
-“Perhaps, after all, Paull, your treatment might have brought her
-round.”
-
-Events worked curiously in Hugh’s life from first to last. Sir
-Roderick’s accident had brought about his meeting with Lilia, of whom he
-constantly thought, although he had not written—after his first note to
-announce his safe return to Sir Roderick—and he had not received any
-communication from the Pinewood. It had also led to this special notice
-from Dr. Hildyard; and that special notice brought about a strange
-_rencontre_, which was destined to be of lasting import in his
-extraordinary life.
-
-It had been an unusually busy time in the hospital. Still, he was so
-much haunted by thoughts and memories of the Pinewood, and his
-experiences there, that, to distract himself, he gave every spare hour
-to the treatise he was writing when Sir Roderick’s accident changed the
-current of his thoughts.
-
-He was at his desk one morning, when a note was brought to him from Dr.
-Hildyard, asking him, as a special favour, to dine with him that evening
-(one of his “evenings off”).
-
-Seven o’clock found him dining _tête-à-tête_ with the genial specialist,
-in his house in B—— Street. The family were away.
-
-The doctor, never at any time a lover of social ceremony, dismissed the
-servants as soon as possible, and then told Hugh what he wanted of him.
-
-“I have a most interesting but puzzling case,” he said. “There are some
-nice people I know in the neighbourhood, the widow of a general
-practitioner and her two daughters, who add to a small income by letting
-lodgings. I generally send them patients of mine who come up from the
-country for treatment. The other day a doctor in Stainbury, an old
-friend of mine, wrote to me. A sad accident had occurred at the theatre
-there, during the performance of an opera by a travelling company. A
-scenic staircase, or tower, or something, had given way, and the young
-lady who was singing had a remarkably awkward fall. Her spine was not
-fatally injured, but the concussion had been followed by symptoms so new
-to him that he wished to send the case on to me, provided he could raise
-a subscription. The girl was poor and friendless, etcetera. Well, of
-course, I was only too glad to do what I could. I wrote back, if he
-would see to her removal here, and could get some of his rich friends
-and patients to help a bit, I would see to her for nothing, and her
-lodging could be paid out of a fund I keep going for poor patients. You
-see, Paull, sometimes matters go very well very unexpectedly with my
-special cases. (I was going to say _our_ special cases, for I see you
-are doomed to nerve specialism.) Then the patient’s friends often get
-gushing. Some gush in words, but some wish to ‘give me some little
-token,’ as they call it. Then, when I know they can afford it, I bring
-out the account book of the poor patients’ fund, and get a handsome
-subscription or donation, or both. Well, the girl came up, and has been
-with Mrs. Draper for the last three weeks. They are very kind to her.
-She has a nurse, of course. But we make no progress. To-day I feared she
-was sinking.”
-
-At first, Hugh excused himself, almost with a fear that Dr. Hildyard’s
-opinion of his ability was a hallucination.
-
-Did some warning of the influence this incident was to have upon his
-future make him feel so strong a disinclination to meet the doctor’s
-wishes to-night, and visit his interesting patient with him? Oftentimes,
-in after years, he thought back, and asked himself that question, which
-none could answer.
-
-It was bad enough to be called upon to pronounce on a case which had
-been a perplexing one to Dr. Hildyard.
-
-It was only after further talk on the part of the doctor, who insisted
-on the fact of the peculiar insight Hugh had shown on various occasions
-being no credit to its owner—in fact, being perhaps somewhat of a
-drawback to the development of talents which were necessary to the
-making of a sound medical man, that the young surgeon gave way.
-
-Almost as soon as he had reluctantly consented, the butler announced
-that the carriage was at the door.
-
-“It is a mere stone’s-throw,” said Dr. Hildyard, as they drove through
-the lamplit streets. “We might have walked; but it is raining very fast
-now, and I promised to drive you back, if you remember.” Then he chatted
-away very fast till the brougham turned the corner and stopped before a
-tall house in a street leading out of a well-known West-end square.
-
-“Here we are,” said the doctor. “How is Miss Morton to-night?” he asked
-of the neat parlourmaid, who opened the door. “Oh, there is nurse!”
-
-A tall young lady, in the dark dress and picturesque cap and apron of a
-professional nurse, appeared on the first landing.
-
-“Come up,” said Dr. Hildyard to Hugh, running up the stairs. “Nurse,
-this is the medical friend I spoke about this morning.”
-
-Hugh followed the nurse and doctor, feeling as if in some strange dream.
-Truly, of late, his hitherto humdrum and monotonous life had changed—had
-utterly changed.
-
-“As if Fate had overlooked me—poor insignificant unit—until now, and had
-pounced upon me with a vengeance, and intent to make up for lost time,”
-he thought.
-
-They were conducted to a second-floor sitting-room—a comfortable room
-enough, with flowers and pretty knick-knacks about—while the nurse went
-into the next room, the sick chamber.
-
-Coming back, “She is quite ready,” she said, addressing Dr. Hildyard.
-
-“_You_ see her,” he said, shortly, to Paull.
-
-“Without you?” Hugh was astonished.
-
-“Certainly.”
-
-Dr. Hildyard sat down at the table and took up a newspaper that was
-lying there. There was a peremptoriness in his voice and manner which
-forbade Hugh’s further questioning. He paused a moment, then turned and
-followed the nurse into the next room.
-
-It was large, bright, airy, and cheerful, with its light maple furniture
-and white hangings. Coloured engravings of pleasant subjects hung on the
-walls. After the bare wards of the hospital, Hugh felt that it would be
-almost a luxury to go through an illness here.
-
-He changed his mind when he saw his patient. No face among the many he
-had watched lying on the hospital pillows had looked as pitiable as
-this. The girl was beautiful, even now that the pallor of her oval face
-was as the pallor of the dead, that her delicately-shaped nose was
-pinched and transparent in the light of the shaded lamp at her bedside;
-and her large, dark eyes had the solemn, wondering expression he had so
-often seen on the faces of the dying. In health she must have
-been—lovely, a “perfect woman, nobly planned.”
-
-She made no remark when the nurse told her it was Dr. Hildyard’s wish
-that this gentleman should see her, but meekly submitted, answering
-Hugh’s questions in a clear though feeble voice. In about twenty minutes
-Hugh returned to Dr. Hildyard.
-
-“Well?” said the doctor.
-
-Hugh closed the door and came towards him. “I cannot find the slightest
-physical cause for this extraordinary debility,” he said. Then he was
-silent.
-
-“And that is all you can say?” asked Dr. Hildyard.
-
-“All—but—something very unscientific.”
-
-Dr. Hildyard uncrossed and recrossed his legs. “Well! but, my dear
-fellow, it is just your impressions that I want,” he said, almost
-impatiently. “I can form conclusions for myself. In fact, I want your
-medical instinct.”
-
-“I—know,” said Hugh, deprecatingly. His eyes had the glaze of intense
-preoccupation. “Of—course—you—have formed scientific conclusions. I—only
-seem to—see. And I saw—a peculiarly delicate and sensitive temperament,
-with a deep, strong _ego_ beneath. The girl has been deeply wounded, so
-deeply—I am speaking of her mental nature, not of her body—that, if I
-were you, I should think it cruel to keep her alive.”
-
-They talked in subdued tones for some minutes. They continued the
-discussion while Dr. Hildyard accompanied Hugh to the hospital gates,
-which he entered, pledged to the physician to watch the case for the
-next few days.
-
-The next day he appropriated the dining hour of the hospital staff to
-his visit to the sick girl. The nurse was reading to her when he entered
-the room. She was an intelligent, sweet-faced woman, and spoke quite
-tenderly of her charge when she followed Hugh into the sitting-room,
-after he had concluded his visit to the patient.
-
-“I cannot understand the poor girl, Mr. Paull,” she said,
-confidentially. “She seems slowly sinking. The first animation she has
-shown was to-day, when I was trying to cheer her up a bit by telling her
-some little family anecdotes. I was just showing her the portrait of a
-scapegrace brother of mine, who ran away and enlisted, when she gave a
-start—a wild look at me—and fainted.”
-
-Hugh asked to see the portrait. It was the photograph of a young man in
-uniform—an ugly likeness of the nurse’s, his sister. He was evidently
-quite young, and very uninteresting in appearance.
-
-“He is not much like you,” said Hugh, cautiously. “I seem to know that
-uniform, though. What is his regiment?”
-
-“The 45th Fusiliers,” she said. “They are at Aldershot now. My brother
-called here to see me the other day.”
-
-“Can there—could there, by any possibility, be any acquaintance between
-your brother and our patient?” suggested Hugh.
-
-Nurse Bryant completely negatived the idea. Her brother had enlisted in
-a huff. He had been very silly about his employer’s daughter, and there
-had been a family row, which was the actual cause of his taking the
-Queen’s shilling.
-
-“Has she not confided in you—I mean about her family—her affairs?” asked
-Hugh. “Has she told you—nothing?”
-
-“Not—one—word—not even a hint,” emphatically said the nurse.
-
-Miss Bryant confessed herself more absolutely ignorant of the dying
-girl’s antecedents, as well as of her actual thoughts and feelings, than
-she had been of those of any patient up to the present time.
-
-“Try and gain her confidence,” was Hugh’s urgent advice to the nurse. He
-returned to the hospital more than usually thoughtful.
-
-Next day, when he visited her, he asked her whether she had any dread as
-to the termination of her illness.
-
-A faint colour rose to her cheek. “Oh!” she said, clutching nervously at
-the sheet with her emaciated fingers, “_do_ you think I shall die?”
-
-It was the hopeful eagerness with which patients generally asked him,
-“Do you think I shall get well?” Hugh began to see light.
-
-“You speak almost as if you did not wish to live,” he said gravely.
-“Surely that cannot be. You are young, and neither I nor Dr. Hildyard
-think that there is any real reason why you should not be restored to
-your old active life, and to your friends.”
-
-Her eyelids drooped. “I have—no—friends,” she said, with effort. “I left
-my elder sister and brother, and went on the stage. They have not
-forgiven me. I have no parents. They are dead.”
-
-“But——” Hugh hesitated a moment. “You know I have heard all about you,”
-he said. “You were making success after success in various provincial
-towns—you must have already had scores of admiring friends among the
-public when that unfortunate accident occurred.”
-
-“Accident!” she said, scornfully. “That was no accident.”
-
-“It could not possibly have been anything else,” said, Hugh, warmly. “No
-human being could have been so brutal——”
-
-“No one—was—brutal,” she said; her breathing rapid with the fatigue and
-excitement of speaking. “I—did it—myself. I—flung myself down—and pulled
-the scene—with me. It came to me—suddenly. I felt I could not
-live—any—longer.”
-
-Her great shining eyes were dry—but their agonising wistfulness was more
-piteous than tears. Hers was evidently some incurable grief. Hugh felt
-disinclined to probe further. Still, he spoke gently and comfortingly to
-the poor child—the friendless, motherless girl. He said, truly, that he
-felt no doubt but that her rash act was the consequence of overstrain.
-Were she to die now, or later on, she would not, in his opinion, be
-guilty of the frightful crime of self-murder. Then he asked her, seeing
-that her troubled expression remained, whether she would like to see a
-clergyman.
-
-“Then you do believe I shall die?” she said, a sudden light crossing her
-face like a sunbeam. “Oh, thank God!”
-
-Hugh nearly started up from his chair. Certainly the mental state of
-this poor young creature was a new experience. What should he say—or do?
-She saved any hesitation by seizing his hand in her burning fingers.
-
-“Promise me,” she said, “that you will do something for me after I am
-dead.”
-
-Once more Hugh hesitated. He would not promise anything, or bind himself
-to anything, until he knew the whole truth about that which he might
-undertake (he would even not say _would_ undertake).
-
-Then the truth came out. It was the old story—love, deception, and the
-inevitable parting of sinner and sinned against. Olive (that was his
-patient’s Christian name) had met her hero at a musical party. He had
-been interested in her singing, and had become a frequent visitor at her
-brother’s house. He persuaded her brother to allow her to live in London
-for a time, to study, and himself recommended persons who would, he
-said, care for her as their own daughter during that time.
-
-She went to London, and saw her lover as often as he could contrive to
-come to town. She considered herself engaged to him; he even went so far
-as to fix their marriage. But all was to be kept secret. Her preparation
-for the stage was also kept secret, her future husband promising her
-marriage immediately after her first appearance. This she made at a
-theatre in Ireland. Her lover was present—but the next morning she
-received a letter from him telling her that all must be over between
-them. He found that their marriage would ruin his career, and he begged
-her, if she had any affection for him at all, never to see or write to
-him again, and, forgetting him, to accept the profession he had planned
-for her instead of a husband. Brokenhearted, she wrote a long letter to
-her sister, which was answered by her brother in the harshest terms,
-telling her she had made her own bed and must lie on it.
-
-After that she roused herself, worked hard, and achieved many triumphs.
-Then came bitterness, desolation of soul, and the sudden fit of
-despairing frenzy during which she had attempted suicide on the stage.
-
-She entreated Hugh to take charge of a sealed packet after her death.
-There would be no address on the outside—but she begged him, after
-breaking the seals, to send the packet, unopened, to the person to whom
-it was addressed on the inside envelope, and never, under any
-circumstances whatever, to mention her story to anyone.
-
-Hugh promised. After all, it was little that she asked; and, as her
-exhausted brain became confused, she forgot to exact any further
-promises as to his future conduct in respect to the man who had treated
-her as unscrupulous men mostly treat loving, generous, and unprotected
-women. When the nurse, directed by her patient, found the sealed packet
-and placed it in Hugh Paull’s hands, the dying girl’s false-hearted
-lover was virtually at his mercy.
-
-After a long and fatiguing evening—there had been more casualties in the
-district than usual—Hugh was leaning out of his bedroom window, smoking
-and gazing down upon the moonlit quadrangle, when there was a knock at
-his door.
-
-It was a special messenger with this note from Dr. Hildyard:—
-
- “Thursday, 9 p.m.
-
- “Dear Paull,—Shortly after you left to-day our patient succumbed to
- syncope of the heart. I have given certificate of death. But, wiring
- to Dr. Bartlett, at Stainbury, he wires back that he knows nothing of
- her personally, and has no idea who she is. The theatrical manager,
- now in Liverpool, was wired to and returned similar reply. The nurse
- has informed me you have a sealed packet, and can doubtless give us
- clue to her identity. Messenger will wait for your reply.
-
- “Yours always faithfully,
- “CHAS. HILDYARD.”
-
-Hugh conducted the man who had brought the letter to his sitting-room
-below, lit the gas, opened the safe, and took out the sealed packet. He
-turned it over with a strange reluctance. He felt he could not open it
-then and there, with strange eyes watching him; so, giving the man some
-newspapers to look at, he took it upstairs with him, and by the
-uncertain light of a flickering candle broke the many seals of the
-packet which contained the dead girl’s secret.
-
-What was it? Was some demon mocking him? There, staring him in the face,
-were the words—distinctly written on the packet—
-
- CAPTAIN RODERICK PYM,
- _45th Fusiliers_.
-
-He mechanically whispered the name to himself as he sank into a chair,
-staring at the package.
-
-“Captain—Roderick—Pym,” he repeated, as a horrified, stunned feeling
-brought cold sweat upon his forehead. “What—how—when?”
-
-His eyes felt as if stiffening in his head. The candle seemed to burn a
-dull red; the bed, chairs, chest of drawers to tremble and swim in the
-moonlight.
-
-“Come, come,” he said to himself. “This will never do. It is a
-coincidence, that is all. Society is made up of tiny circles. This is
-the most ordinary coincidence, such as happens to everyone at least once
-or twice in a lifetime.”
-
-Pulling himself together, he forced himself to grasp the situation. The
-unidentified corpse lying, a burden to strangers, in a London
-lodging-house. Dr. Hildyard, overweighted with work and all sorts of
-responsibilities, awaiting the return of the messenger below before the
-dead girl could be coffined. And upon himself depended the clue that
-would make proceedings easy.
-
-Roderick—Pym! Lilia’s cousin and possible future husband, Sir Roderick’s
-nephew and favourite, the dastard who ruined that fair young life? It
-was impossible. Utterly impossible—an idea untenable for a moment—he
-told himself, as he feverishly paced his room.
-
-Roderick was possibly a mutual friend of the actors in that wretched
-little tragedy. He did not believe that the poor young creature who had
-shown no symptoms of anger, no suspicion of revenge, would trust the
-identity of the man whom she loved, although he had illtreated her, to a
-mere stranger—although she might to a mutual friend. No. Roderick Pym
-was most likely the confidant, the bosom friend—some evil feeling
-suggested the Mephistopheles—of the love story. At all events, he must
-not betray him in the affair. He must temporise.
-
-By the time he had arrived at this conclusion, Hugh was more himself. He
-got out writing materials, and presently sent back Dr. Hildyard’s
-messenger with the following note:—
-
- “Dear Dr. Hildyard,—It is true that your patient entrusted me with a
- sealed packet, but I am in honour bound only to confide the packet,
- secretly, to another person. All I can do is to communicate at once
- with that person. I hope the upshot will be that I may speedily assure
- you as to the identity of the deceased lady.
-
- Yours most faithfully,
- “HUGH PAULL.
-
- “I will write, or see you, as soon as I have any information.”
-
-The messenger despatched, Hugh considered what was next to be done. His
-first impulse was to take the last train to Aldershot, and see Captain
-Pym. Second thoughts forbade this hasty move.
-
-“I know little or nothing of these military men,” he thought.
-
-His own code of morals and theirs must certainly differ. Still it was
-essential that he should gain some knowledge by means of that package,
-which most probably contained letters. After consideration, he resolved
-to surprise Roderick Pym into some admission. Unpleasant though it was
-to him to act, to use subterfuge, he told himself that his only course
-was to be diplomatic.
-
-Looking at his watch, he saw that to telegraph to Aldershot that night
-he must seek some central office. Fortunately, there was one not very
-far distant, from which he despatched this message:—
-
- “_To Roderick Pym, Captain — Division_,
- “_45th Fusiliers, The Camp, Aldershot_.
-
- “_Can I see you here to-morrow on most important and serious business?
- If you cannot leave, I must go to you._
-
- _Hugh Paull_,
- “_The S—— Hospital_.”
-
-“I think that will fetch him,” he thought, as he returned through the
-silent City streets. “He will think it is something connected with the
-state of his uncle’s health—with Lilia.” He smiled bitterly to himself.
-“Heavens! how dare I suspect him of being that villain?” he thought.
-“Yet, would not any ordinary person do so? Can he be a near relation of
-that poor girl’s? I must not think of it all! Come what may, I must keep
-my head clear.”
-
-Next morning the return telegram came:—
-
- “_Will be at your place about ten. Must be back here at three._”
-
-It was well for Hugh that Friday was a busy morning, besides there being
-extra work on in consequence of yesterday’s influx of accidents; for,
-despite the close attention he must pay to his arduous occupation, his
-nervous agitation as ten o’clock struck from the tower above the
-entrance to the hospital was great.
-
-At ten minutes past the hour he was fetched. “The gentleman” had
-arrived.
-
-“He is ashamed of sending in his card,” thought Hugh. “Am I not good
-enough for him? Or has he an uneasy conscience?”
-
-Captain Pym was in the hall, standing in an easy attitude, his hands
-behind him, swinging his cane, ostensibly studying the notices and
-regulations on the green-baize-covered board. He turned to meet Hugh
-with an amused smile.
-
-“What laws of the Medes and Persians!” he said, airily, as he shook
-hands. “Ours in the service are mere child’s play in comparison! Well,
-what does the mysterious summons portend?”
-
-His whole appearance—he wore a light shooting-coat and delicacies
-in ties and gloves—his flippant manner, just tinged with
-condescension—chilled Hugh, especially when he thought of that
-pale corpse, lying straight and still, whose poor thin hand had
-written the name of this human butterfly for the last time.
-
-“If you will come to my room, I will explain,” he said, leading the way
-through the hall and up the stone staircase.
-
-He had intended to suddenly produce the packet of letters and watch the
-effect upon Roderick. But, as he mounted the staircase, a better idea
-occurred to him.
-
-“I suppose it is something about my uncle—poor old fellow,” said Captain
-Pym, as soon as they had fairly entered Hugh’s sitting-room, throwing
-himself into a chair. “Gad! How close it is to-day! Thunder about, I
-should say.”
-
-“Very likely,” said Hugh, dryly, as he produced brandy and a siphon of
-seltzer, which seemed to suit his guest’s ideas, for he assumed a less
-patronising manner, even saying, “Thanks, old fellow,” quite familiarly
-as Hugh handed him the tall tumbler. “No, Captain Pym; I did not
-telegraph to you on the subject of Sir Roderick. The fact is, Dr.
-Hildyard has a patient who has had to do with the regiment—your
-regiment, I mean—and whom you can possibly identify.”
-
-“Well——” Captain Pym paused, evidently annoyed. “Excuse me, Paull, if I
-say that I think that is about the coolest proceeding I ever heard of in
-my life! I am to be wired for because some fellow in the hospital wants
-identification! Why didn’t you write? I’d have sent up a non-com. to
-oblige you. But—really——”
-
-“I think—that your friend—is an officer, Captain Pym.”
-
-“Oh—well!”—Roderick tossed off his seltzer and brandy, and smiled
-somewhat sourly. “It was a curious thing to do—but you hospital fellows
-have ways of your own, I expect. Can’t be expected to know what’s what,
-of course. Where is the fellow? I don’t remember anyone I was
-particularly friendly with, by the way.”
-
-“Your—acquaintance—is not here, Captain Pym,” said Hugh, hating the part
-he was playing—sickened as he felt by the young man’s manner, which was
-utterly different to that of the Roderick Pym he had met at the
-Pinewood. “The case is being privately nursed. If you would accompany
-me, a hansom will take us and bring us back within the hour.”
-
-Roderick’s face brightened. He glanced at the clock.
-
-“An hour!” he said. “I mean to make a holiday of what time I’ve got. You
-must lunch with me, Paull! We ought to be chums, you know, you being
-everybody at the Pinewood now. Why, my nose is quite out of joint. What
-a devil of a hurry you are in, man!” (Hugh had seized his hat, and had
-opened the door.) “The fellow, whoever it is, isn’t dying, I suppose?”
-
-“No,” said Hugh, going rapidly downstairs and feeling that at least this
-was absolutely true.
-
-Speeding along in a hansom, his volatile companion’s spirits rose; he
-laughed and chaffed and told anecdotes, rallying Hugh on his gravity.
-
-“You medicos seem to me to think a lot more of death than we army
-fellows,” he said, as they neared the house with the lowered blinds. “I
-have a horror of killing: I acknowledge that. But as for death itself,
-what is a corpse, after all? A mere empty envelope. The likeness of the
-human being is the address; but the contents—the letter itself—is gone.”
-
-Here Hugh shouted to the driver to stop, and without glancing at his
-companion, paid the fare and mounted the steps of No. 99. The
-sympathetic landlady had drawn down her blinds in respect to the dead
-girl, but Captain Pym did not notice this, he was looking after the
-departing hansom.
-
-“You might have kept the fellow,” he said, discontentedly, as they
-entered the house.
-
-Hugh muttered something about hansoms being plentiful in that
-fashionable quarter, and hurried upstairs, bidding Roderick follow.
-
-The utter unsuspiciousness of Lilia’s cousin cut him to the quick. Yet,
-what was he to do? As he opened the door of the bedroom, he consoled
-himself by thinking how lightly Captain Pym had but a few minutes
-previously spoken of death.
-
-Turning to hold open the door of the darkened room, he saw Roderick
-pause—his expression change. He looked sternly, distrustfully, at Hugh.
-
-“What does this mean?” he said, entering and glancing from the bed,
-where a still, straight figure was visible under a sheet, to Paull. “The
-man, whoever he may be, is dead, and you must have known it.”
-
-“I did know it,” said Hugh, calmly drawing up the blind of the window
-nearest the bed.
-
-“Do you take me for a coward, then?” sneered Roderick.
-
-“I will answer your questions presently,” said Hugh, watching Captain
-Pym closely, and throwing back the sheet to disclose the waxen, lovely
-face of the girl.
-
-There was a calm about the large sunken eyelids, with their dark lashes
-blackly defined against the ivory cheek—about the pale forehead,
-surrounded by a glossy wreath of black plaits—about the arms, crossed
-upon her breast over sprays of white lilies; and upon the closely-shut,
-beautiful dead lips was the set, strange smile that seems to express:
-“Fear not—none can harm me, now.”
-
-For one instant, Roderick swerved. He could not be said to shudder, or
-to start—he swerved, as if he had made a false step. Then, visibly
-paler, but perfectly composed, he leant forward, his arms upon the brass
-rail.
-
-“You—recognize her?” asked Hugh.
-
-Either this young man was the most accomplished and hardened
-hypocrite—or he was not the villain of the story. He felt puzzled.
-
-“I—do,” said Roderick, straightening himself and looking Hugh full in
-the face. “But—excuse me—I cannot understand why it should have fallen
-upon me to identify her. Where are her friends?”
-
-“The only person connected with her whose name we have—is yours, Captain
-Pym.”
-
-Roderick shrugged his shoulders.
-
-“It is a mystery,” he said. “I knew her brother and her sister. I knew
-her—also—slightly.”
-
-Evidently he began to feel that this was a verbal duel. He spoke
-cautiously, choosing his words, and he kept his eyes fixed upon Hugh.
-
-“Slightly?” asked Hugh, doubtfully. “Perhaps you will be so good as to
-explain?”
-
-“You will be so good as to explain first, if you please, Mr. Paull. I
-cannot tell what this lady may have led you to understand. She was, as
-far as I can judge, impulsive and imaginative to a degree.”
-
-“Do not asperse the dead, Captain Pym,” said Hugh, contemptuously. “A
-corpse is but a poor shield for a man’s conduct. To shorten matters, let
-me tell you that this young lady has told me—all.”
-
-“All?” said Roderick, raising his eyebrows. “Allow me to congratulate
-you on your knowledge, then. I have not seen her for nearly a year—since
-which she may doubtless have had an interesting history of which I am
-absolutely ignorant. The last time I saw her she was acting and singing
-in an Irish theatre, and I was one of the audience.”
-
-“And wrote her a merciless letter next morning,” said Hugh, confronting
-him and speaking in a low, stern voice. “You—under promise of
-marriage—oh, do not lose your temper, Captain Pym; you cannot frighten
-me! Under promise of marriage you persuaded this unhappy girl to leave
-her home and study, secretly, for the stage; you assisted her to make
-the appearance on the stage which separated her from her family
-forever—and then—you left her to her fate!”
-
-“I admire your romance—I mean, _the_ romance,” said Roderick, calmly,
-turning his back upon the bed. “I am sorry you should be so credulous,
-Mr. Paull; that is all I feel upon the subject. I will give you any
-information I can. Meanwhile, as I have never given the lie to a living
-woman, it is scarcely likely I shall do so to a dead one. Cannot we end
-our discussion in another room? Such talk is scarcely seemly here.”
-
-“I will come,” said Hugh, wrathfully. “But, once more, do not insult the
-dead, Captain Pym. Your—letters—to this—lady—are in my possession.”
-
-Roderick’s pallor assumed a greenish yellow.
-
-“After you, Mr. Paull,” he said, bowing slightly, and casting an
-ironical glance at the sweet young corpse. “I cannot blame you. Only I
-hope you may never be dragged into committing yourself out of foolish
-good nature, as I appear to have done.” And replacing his hat, he walked
-towards the door.
-
-“Good God—what a fiend!” thought Hugh, with a pitying glance towards the
-corpse. “Poor—unhappy—child!”
-
-He had often been deeply touched by the innocent trustfulness of young
-children about to undergo terrible operations that meant kill or cure;
-he had frequently been shamed for his own impatience by the cheerful
-resignation of the sick and dying poor. But he had never felt such
-chivalrous sympathy as that which made him stoop—before he reverently
-re-covered that solemn, smiling dead face—and gently touch one thin cold
-hand with his lips.
-
-Though he was neither kith nor kin to her—not even an acquaintance—her
-honour was safe with him, and he felt he would have staked his very life
-upon her truth.
-
-He motioned Roderick to follow him, took him into the little
-sitting-room, closed the door, and faced him with righteous indignation.
-
-“You are in my hands, Captain Pym, and at my mercy,” he said, harshly.
-“Only the truth can save you from exposure. It lies with Dr. Hildyard
-and myself whether there shall be an inquest or no; the cause of the
-patient’s death is sufficiently obscure to warrant legal investigation.
-As you know, every scrap of evidence must then be brought forward. Your
-letters will be produced. You will find yourself in an awkward
-position.”
-
-This last blow, given literally in the dark, went home. Roderick bit his
-lip and looked dangerously at Hugh. For a full quarter of a minute the
-men’s eyes met, unflinching, then Roderick began to pace the room.
-
-“One would think you had tampered with the woman yourself—at least, I
-might think so—only I happen to know you have succumbed to the
-fascinations of my cousin,” he said, sneeringly. “It is to this, I
-suppose, I owe your zeal on behalf of this young person.”
-
-“Let us keep ladies’ names out of the conversation, Captain Pym,” said
-Hugh, who had flinched at the bare mention of Lilia. “Tell me the truth,
-like a man, and I will restore you your letters and bid you
-good-morning. But one condition will I make.”
-
-Roderick paused, and looked full in his antagonist’s face.
-
-“And that?” he said.
-
-“You will entirely renounce all idea of marrying your cousin,” said
-Hugh.
-
-It was his turn to pale to an ashen tint.
-
-“Upon my word!” Roderick threw himself into a chair, and gave a scornful
-laugh. “By what right do you forbid the banns?”
-
-“While I live, Captain Pym, she shall not marry you.”
-
-“Then my promises are scarcely necessary, are they?” he asked, looking
-mockingly up and tilting his chair. “You have only to tell your
-wonderful tale to my uncle, and shew him your beautiful documents. Do
-so, and go to the devil!”
-
-“As you please,” said Hugh, somewhat astonished. “Unfortunately, in
-telling the news to Sir Roderick, it must be told to the world, and your
-family name dragged through the mud.”
-
-Captain Pym had risen to go. He paused.
-
-“What do you want me to say?” he said, savagely. “Tell me what you
-accuse me of, and I will answer.”
-
-“That is by far more sensible,” said Hugh, seating himself at the table,
-and drawing an inkstand and blotting-case nearer to him. “Now that you
-are inclined to listen to reason, the affair assumes a different aspect.
-You will find that, if you confide in me, I will hold my peace, while
-you hold the scheme of marriage with your cousin Lilia Pym in abeyance.
-Think! Can you give me your word?”
-
-Roderick gazed gloomily at the one window. A canary was busily pecking
-at a morsel of sugar between the bars of its cage; below, in a mews, a
-man was whistling while he swept the pavement with a bass broom.
-
-What, thought Hugh, was passing in that mind? Was it possible for some
-good to be left in that careless, cruel nature?
-
-“I will give you my word,” said Roderick at last, somewhat sullenly.
-“You give me my letters, and I will not advance a step in the matter of
-marriage with Lilia. Heavens! do you doubt my word?”
-
-“I will not,” said Hugh. “I will hope for better things than to find you
-utterly unworthy.”
-
-At least, the young man had no depth of cunning; for it was he himself
-who had informed Hugh that he _had_ written compromising letters to the
-dead girl.
-
-“Come,” said Paull, more cheerfully, “tell me her name?”
-
-“Her name is Olivia Fenton,” said Roderick. “Her parents are dead. I met
-her when I was at the Curragh. Her brother holds a living near there.
-She had a fine voice, and yearned to make use of it; but her brother and
-sister were against any idea of the sort. She appealed to me, and I
-helped her to come to London, and got people to look after her. During
-the time she was studying she, unfortunately, took a fancy to me. I
-liked and admired her; but as to marrying her, I knew such a thing was
-utterly out of the question. When I found that that was what she
-expected of me, I was horrified. She was on the eve of going on the
-stage, and I thought better to leave matters as they were until after
-her _debût_. She was successful, fortunately, and then I cut the whole
-thing.”
-
-“As you ought to have done before,” said Hugh, sternly. “The old
-story—shut the stable door when the steed is stolen.”
-
-“You did not gather that from my letters!” he cried, the blood rushing
-to his face. “The treacherous puss——”
-
-“Hush! We are speaking of the dead,” said Hugh.
-
-He was firm, composed. He knew as much now as it was necessary to know.
-He obtained the address of the brother and sister, pocketed it, and they
-left the house.
-
-The sun was shining. In the full light of day Roderick looked ghastly.
-He stared vacantly at the life of the busy streets, and mechanically
-followed his companion. During their rapid drive back to the hospital
-[Hugh had chosen a hansom with a good horse, who covered the ground
-about as quickly as it could be done] Captain Pym said not one word.
-
-Arrived, Hugh found himself demanded on all sides. The matron, coming
-out of the accident ward, met him with a disgusted frown; one of the
-ward Sisters, seeing him pass, hurried out, “Oh, Mr. Paull!” The
-dispenser was waiting outside his room door with a bundle of papers. He
-waved them all away. “He would be with them in a minute.” Then shutting
-himself in with Roderick, he unlocked his safe, and took out the packet
-of letters entrusted to him by Olivia Fenton.
-
-“Before I give you these,” he said, earnestly to Roderick, “you must
-pledge yourself to give up all thoughts of marriage with your cousin.
-Oh! I exact no formal oath. A man’s word should be as good as his bond!
-Did I not still trust you to this extent, I should act very
-differently.”
-
-Roderick held out his hand.
-
-“I promise,” he said, with some show of emotion; then he eyed the
-letters greedily.
-
-For one moment Hugh faltered in his determination. His fingers closed
-upon the packet; then he fulfilled his promise to his dead patient, and
-handed them to the man she had so fatally loved.
-
-The captain glanced at the superscription, then at the seal; then he
-turned upon Hugh, his blue eyes aflame with anger.
-
-“Good God! you have been lying!” he cried, wrathfully. “This is her
-seal—I know it—unbroken, and you said you had read the letters!”
-
-He positively trembled with rage, and gnawed his fair moustache as he
-pushed the packet down into the inner breast-pocket of his coat.
-
-“I made no such statement, Captain Pym,” said Hugh, calmly, leaning up
-against the mantelpiece and watching the young man’s ignoble exhibition
-of feeling. “I inferred that you might be the writer of them—that was
-all. The cap fitted, and you yourself voluntarily acknowledged their
-contents.”
-
-“If you had been straightforward,” said Roderick, fiercely, “I should
-have been so, also. Now, look to yourself! This is my last word to you;”
-and seizing his hat, he hurried from the room.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER V.
- A STARTLING PROPOSAL.
-
-
-Whether some feeling of remorse prompted Roderick to a tardy act of
-justice, Hugh could only conjecture. In any case, Olivia Fenton’s
-brother-in-law appeared and claimed the remains of his wife’s sister.
-There was no inquest, and the unfortunate girl was quietly buried in
-Woking Cemetery.
-
-After those few days of excitement, Hugh’s life fell back into the daily
-humdrum. His thoughts were concentrated upon his work, now augmented by
-the final preparation for the coming examination for an important
-degree, so that the memory of Lilia, and that peculiar feeling, half
-pleasure, half pain, when he thought back upon his visit to the
-Pinewood, ceased to trouble him so much.
-
-Weeks of quiet study, of unbroken hospital routine: then came two
-startling days, two startling visits.
-
-It was a gusty autumn morning. Hugh was coming out of one ward and just
-about to enter another, when the hall-porter brought him word that the
-Rev. Mr. Paull was below and wished to speak with him.
-
-He hurried downstairs and found his father, who informed him that he was
-paying a flying visit to town, and must have a serious talk with him on
-important business.
-
-“It is quite clear we cannot talk here and now,” said Hugh.
-
-“No, no, my boy; of course not.”
-
-The old gentleman, who looked overwhelmed with some weighty affair or
-another, asked his son to dine with him at his hotel.
-
- * * * * *
-
-“And now for the serious talk,” said Hugh, who had been slightly amused
-at his father’s portentous manner and evident preoccupation during their
-dinner in a private room at a quiet hotel near Piccadilly, “I can see
-that something has happened. What is it?”
-
-“Well, it is Daisy,” said Mr. Paull.
-
-“Daisy! What is wrong?”
-
-“Oh, there is nothing exactly wrong. But I shall know better presently.
-She is thinking of getting married.”
-
-“Daisy married!”
-
-Hugh smiled.
-
-“Why not?”
-
-“Somehow I can’t realise the idea of Daisy married. Who is the man?”
-
-“Ah!” Mr. Paull drew up his chair and stirred the fire. It was a chill
-autumnal evening. “Do you remember the Danvers?” he asked.
-
-“Of course.” (Mr. Danvers was a neighbouring clergyman, and his wife was
-a stout lady of much amiability, who, childless herself, had been fond
-of entertaining children.) “If I remember rightly,” said Hugh, “one of
-her juvenile parties brought about my first bilious attack.”
-
-“I daresay. Well, you remember they went away for his health when you
-were at school, leaving a curate in charge. Since you came down last
-time, they have returned. At their house Daisy met this young man. I
-suppose you know that Mrs. Danvers was a Miss Clithero?”
-
-“Clithero?”
-
-Hugh gave a visible start.
-
-“Yes; the sister of the Clithero who is partner of the Pyms. Oh! it is
-hard upon a man, Hugh, left alone as I am, when his girls begin to have
-love affairs.”
-
-“It is,” said Hugh. “But whatever I can do, dad, shall be done. You know
-that.”
-
-The old man was touched. For a few moments he gazed steadily at the
-fire. Then he said:
-
-“I do; and I feel sure that you will tell me if there is any truth in
-the shocking stories about those Pyms.”
-
-“The Pyms! What have they got to do with it?”
-
-“The man who wants to marry Daisy is a son of the head of the firm.”
-
-“Not _Captain_ Pym?”
-
-Hugh spoke almost fiercely.
-
-“Why not?”
-
-Mr. Paull looked at him curiously.
-
-“Never mind. Tell me all—everything.”
-
-It seemed that when Daisy Paull was staying at Mrs. Danvers’ house for a
-week, there had been also staying there a newly-ordained young
-clergyman, Herbert Pym, third son of Mr. Pym, the reputed millionaire.
-At the end of the week he had offered himself to Daisy.
-
-“He is a nice young fellow,” added Mr. Paull. “Frank, no nonsense about
-him. He has expectations: will share equally with his eldest brother. He
-told me that his brother Roderick (the Captain Pym you mentioned) is to
-inherit nothing from his father, having been adopted by his uncle, Sir
-Roderick, who will leave him his whole fortune.”
-
-“That is, to put it mildly, a mistake,” said Hugh. “You know that I
-stayed at the Pinewood, Sir Roderick’s place in Surrey, for a couple of
-days. Captain Pym is a favourite nephew, but is not an adopted son. Sir
-Roderick is wrapped up in his daughter.”
-
-“His daughter? Now, Hugh, what is the mystery about that daughter? Is
-she an idiot? Don’t get angry! I have heard such queer tales.”
-
-“Why did you listen to them?” said Hugh, disdainfully. “I thought you
-were above listening to gossip.”
-
-“I was compelled, in Daisy’s interests, to investigate the matter,” said
-Mr. Paull, with a dignity which recalled Hugh to a sense of propriety
-his anxiety was tempting him to forget. “Mrs. Danvers hinted to me that,
-although Herbert was the nicest young man she knew, the family were
-eccentric. She had heard all sorts of things about them—untrue,
-doubtless; still, there seldom was so much smoke without some fire. Mr.
-Bullock, the banker, knew how much or how little there was in the
-stories. Now, Bullock being my banker, I called upon him.”
-
-“Bullock,” said Hugh, thoughtfully. “He always seemed an honest,
-matter-of-fact sort of man. What did he say?”
-
-“He said much,” said Mr. Paull. “There is a painful family story. What
-sort of a girl is this daughter?”
-
-“Simple, innocent, good,” said Hugh, shortly, and in as matter-of-fact a
-manner as he could assume in his perturbation.
-
-“Dear me! How strange that bad women so often have good children!”
-sighed his father.
-
-“Is Lady Pym alive?” asked Hugh.
-
-“I will tell you exactly what Bullock told me. Sir Roderick was quite
-different from that which I understand him to be now, when he was young.
-A roistering ‘young blood,’ as they termed fast young fellows then.
-There was a handsome girl who was one of the Society beauties. No one
-noticed Sir Roderick’s admiration. The young lady disappeared one
-season. Her disappearance caused quite a talk, especially as her
-relations were reticent on the subject. About two years afterwards, when
-she is almost forgotten, she reappears as Sir Roderick’s wife. When,
-how, and where they were married—why, and for what reason the affair was
-kept dark—no one has ever known.”
-
-“But the child?”
-
-“The girl seems to have been a young infant when they returned. Well, it
-appears that Sir Roderick was quite Eastern in his ideas of how a wife
-should be treated. He took that lively young creature to that place of
-his, the Pinewood, and shut her up. She saw no one but some of his
-relations.”
-
-“Jealous, doubtless,” said Hugh, thinking back upon the pretty, mutinous
-face, miniatured in Sir Roderick’s locket. “Well?”
-
-“Well, now comes the sad part. Mr. Pym, the brother, who was already a
-husband and the father of several children, had then, as I daresay you
-know he still has, an estate about twenty miles distant from Sir
-Roderick’s. He seems to have divided his time between the two houses. No
-one knows what took place there. But there was a serious family quarrel.
-Sir Roderick withdrew from the firm of Pym, Clithero, and Pym, and shut
-his doors against his whole family. The beautiful Lady Pym no one saw
-again. Some say she ran away and hid herself abroad: at least, hid
-herself from everyone but the object of her husband’s jealousy, Mr. Pym.
-The other rumour is that Sir Roderick shut her up more closely than
-ever, and that she died and was buried at the Pinewood.”
-
-Hugh thought of the chapel in the grounds.
-
-“That last story is more likely to be true than the other,” he said.
-
-“Yes,” said Mr. Paull; “if, indeed, there is any fact in the gossip at
-all. Bullock said he felt positive that if Sir Roderick suspected his
-brother of wronging him in regard to Lady Pym, his suspicion had been
-utterly groundless. He knows Mr. Pym. He said that no doubt he pitied
-his young sister-in-law for being immured in so un-English a fashion,
-and did his best to brighten her life; but that this was all his part in
-the affair. That Sir Roderick has come to believe so too, is, I should
-think, proved by his love for his brother’s son.”
-
-An idea came into Hugh’s mind which took away his breath for a moment.
-He unconsciously rose from his chair and straightened himself.
-
-“How does anyone know that he is really fond of Captain Pym?” he
-suggested. “His statement that he is his heir may have been made in
-revenge, to spoil the young man, to place him in an unnatural position
-in his own family circle, and to leave him stranded and befooled at the
-last.”
-
-“Impossible, Hugh! No human being could be so mean!”
-
-“Nothing is impossible in Sir Roderick, father. Think back on what you
-have told me of his conduct to his wife! His brain is unbalanced. He is
-clever enough, kind enough, in a way; but he is extravagantly eccentric.
-For instance, I am sure he adores that daughter of his as far as he is
-capable of adoration; yet he keeps her as much shut up as he did her
-mother.”
-
-“Poor child!” said Mr. Paull, sympathetically. “What a good thing it
-would be for her to know Maud and Daisy.”
-
-“To return to Daisy’s affair,” said Hugh. “It does not seem a very
-bright specimen of a family to marry into.”
-
-“My dear boy, all families have their skeletons in the cupboard,” said
-the rector, somewhat nervously. (Hugh was seemingly getting into one of
-his stern humours, which would be bad for poor Daisy.) “Find me the
-family that has not.”
-
-“Ours,” said Hugh.
-
-“I daresay, if the truth were known, our ancestors had their foibles.”
-
-“Madness has, unfortunately, the habit of going obliquely, father; it
-often attacks the nephew or niece, rather than the son or daughter. This
-Herbert Pym may develop into a Sir Roderick.”
-
-“Madness may do that, Hugh; but surely not eccentricity.”
-
-Hugh paced the room and thought deeply. He had felt there was some
-mystery connected with Sir Roderick’s wife, Lilia’s mother. But that any
-scandal was attached to her name he had not believed. For himself, he
-would not care. But when his sister was in question, he felt it behoved
-him to be uncompromisingly judicial.
-
-“I do not think mother would have liked Daisy’s marrying this young man,
-father,” he said at last.
-
-“If you say that, you cannot have understood her, Hugh,” said the
-rector, warmly. “She was the largest-hearted woman on earth. Scandal was
-her greatest horror. When young Pym came to me and asked for Daisy, I
-felt she would have liked him. It was just that which influenced me.”
-
-“Well, you know best, father. Shall I see him and talk to him? Perhaps I
-might say things to him that you could scarcely say.”
-
-“I wish you would see him,” said his father, reassured.
-
-Hugh left him with the understanding that whenever it suited the Rev.
-Herbert Pym to make an appointment he was ready to receive him as his
-probable brother-in-law.
-
-But the meeting was destined to be postponed. Next morning, just before
-noon, the porter came again.
-
-“You are wanted, sir. A lady, this time.”
-
-“I am engaged, you know that,” said Hugh, annoyed, for a dresser he had
-had occasion to reprove was just passing, and he saw the young man grin.
-“You should have asked her name.”
-
-“I did, sir. But she said it didn’t matter, she would not keep you a
-minute. I took her into the board-room, sir.”
-
-She, whoever she was, had evidently known the passport to the porter’s
-goodwill, thought Hugh, running downstairs. What lady could it be? If it
-were Daisy, he would give her a scolding she would remember.
-
-Entering the board-room he was met by Mrs. Mervyn, pale, agitated.
-
-“Oh, Mr. Paull! How could you forsake us so?” she said, almost
-indignantly.
-
-Then she broke down, turned away, and hid her face in her handkerchief.
-
-Hugh was so taken aback that for a moment or two he stood and stared.
-Then he felt that something must have happened—he hardly dared think
-what.
-
-“I—forsaken you?” he said, as Mrs. Mervyn conquered her emotion and sat
-down. “I have not heard one word from the Pinewood since I spent those
-two days there.”
-
-“You have had a letter and two telegrams,” said Mrs. Mervyn. “Sir
-Roderick was taken ill a week ago. Lilia wrote and asked your advice. No
-answer came. She telegraphed. No answer. Captain Pym offered to go to
-town to fetch Dr. Beard, the physician our doctor asked for. Mr. Mervyn
-wired to you,—silence. Captain Pym said he called here, but finding that
-you had been in the hospital all the time, and that therefore you
-evidently did not want to be bothered with us, or you would have taken
-some notice of the letter and telegrams, he did not trouble you in the
-matter.”
-
-Hugh repressed his impulse to anathematise Captain Pym as a liar. “My
-time will come; I will bide my time,” he thought. Then he turned to Mrs.
-Mervyn, and said, gently:
-
-“There has been some mistake. It does not matter now. How is he?”
-
-“Dying.”
-
-Mrs. Mervyn gave an account of the last trying seven days: the attention
-of Dr. Beard, who gave no hope from the first; Lilia’s repressed
-anguish; the goodness of the two sick nurses; the summoning of the great
-Sir Edward Debenham yesterday (a mere matter of form, to state that
-death had proved himself conqueror, that nothing could be done to
-reverse the sentence). Then she was about to add something further, when
-Hugh asked, suddenly, hoarsely:
-
-“If this be so, why have you come?”
-
-“He asked for you—he wants you,” said Mrs. Mervyn. “He will not be
-pacified.”
-
-“Did he know I was sent for?”
-
-“Yes; and he knew no answer came. But it was he who said the messages
-could not have reached you. I would not be the one to suggest anything
-else.”
-
-“You thought me a wretch, Mrs. Mervyn?”
-
-She shrugged her shoulders.
-
-“What does it matter now?” she said, in agitation. “Let us go by the
-next train, if we can.”
-
-Hugh procured a time-table. There was time to catch a fast train to F——.
-He saw the secretary, arranged for a deputy, and before he hardly
-realised the situation London was left far back in the distance in its
-purple veil of smoke, and they were rushing through brilliant autumnal
-scenes, under a breezy October sky.
-
-They could not talk during the journey; they had fellow-passengers. It
-was painful for Hugh to think that Mrs. Mervyn had doubted him, and
-still more painful to remember Lilia. Of course the non-arrival of the
-letter and telegrams meant—Roderick.
-
-Mr. Mervyn was on the platform, looking careworn and eager. At the sight
-of Hugh he brightened. He grasped his hand.
-
-“I knew you would come,” he said. Then, drawing him aside, he said: “You
-did not get my telegram? I thought not. Say as little as you can, will
-you? and be as unfathomable as a sphinx. I will explain later.”
-
-Evidently he knew more, in one respect, than Hugh did.
-
-A light dogcart was awaiting Hugh, and presently he was speeding along
-the lanes between the devastated hop-gardens behind Reindeer, who was
-going at full speed, while Mrs. Mervyn was following in the brougham
-with her husband.
-
-During the uphill slackening of Reindeer’s pace, Hugh gathered that Sir
-Roderick was still alive, though his death was, according to the
-doctors, imminent; that none of his servants were surprised—they had
-seen so great a change in their master since his accident; and that,
-since he had sent for his brother, Mr. Pym, even Miss Lilia had given up
-hope.
-
-“Miss Lilia couldn’t have believed he was agoing to die like other
-folks, I don’t believe, sir, if it hadn’t ha’ been for that,” said the
-sagacious Thomas. “They said as when she heard that the captain was to
-fetch his father, at Sir Roderick’s wish, she fainted dead away. They
-haven’t been friends, you see, sir, for many a long year; and Sir
-Roderick, when he makes up his mind—well, it isn’t easy to turn him. So
-I expect Miss Lilia knew, when he sent for Mr. Pym, that there wasn’t
-what you might call a straw left to cling to.”
-
-“She is better now?” asked Hugh.
-
-“I can’t say, sir, I’m sure.”
-
-It was hard work to obey Mr. Mervyn’s recommendation to be sphinx-like.
-But as the dogcart jogged down the steep incline leading to the garden
-entrance of the house, Hugh rallied himself, and determined to put aside
-all personal feeling, all emotions and passions, to follow no impulse,
-and to bear in mind that he was here on duty, as a species of death-bed
-sentinel—silent, motionless, except to salute the passing soul.
-
-The house looked the same, as houses will, happen what may. There was
-even a greater gaiety about the place. A windy autumn day, when the
-cloudlets sail joyously across the luminous blue sky, and the red and
-golden trees are shaken by the fresh breezes, has a liveliness of its
-own, as if Nature were at play after the hard work of the spring and
-summer before the night of winter sets in, when she herself falls
-asleep. And within these four walls? As Hugh alighted at the garden
-door, and walked in without ringing the bell (all bells had been muffled
-by the doctors’ orders), he did not think with any pleasurable
-anticipation of the possible scene within.
-
-But he miscalculated the influence of the young girl who was so soon to
-be left alone in the world.
-
-As he entered the hall by one door, Lilia came in by another. She looked
-pale and thinner in her clinging grey gown; but she was calm, and met
-him with a half-smile and clinging clasp of the hand.
-
-“You know?” she asked, in a hushed voice.
-
-“That he is doomed by the doctors, and that a letter and two telegrams
-were _not_ sent to me? Yes,” he said, dryly.
-
-“I trusted——” She hesitated, and looked round.
-
-“Explanations afterwards,” she added, with a hopeless, bitter meaning in
-her tones and manner. “Now we must only think of _him_. Will you have
-some refreshment, or see him now?”
-
-“Now, at once,” said Hugh.
-
-Then he followed her in silence up the old oaken staircase, wondering at
-her power of self-control—she, so sensitive and emotional a creature!
-Until now, she had drawn his sympathies by her gift of fascination;
-thus, she seized and held his respect.
-
-At a tap from Lilia, a nurse opened the door.
-
-“Mr. Paull,” whispered Lilia, gliding away.
-
-“I am thankful you have come,” said the nurse, who looked worn and
-harassed. “There are two of us, but he has been dreadful. You are a
-doctor. You will not let him over-excite himself? We are to leave you
-alone.”
-
-Hugh satisfied the nurse, as they stood by the door behind the screen.
-They whispered, but the hearing of the dying man was sharpened.
-
-“Who’s—that?” Hugh heard, in reedy, querulous tones he hardly
-recognised.
-
-“You must come at once,” said the nurse.
-
-Then her worn, anxious expression suddenly changed to the placid,
-cheerful smile that is as necessary an adjunct in the case of a
-sick-room attendant as in a _danseuse_ before the public.
-
-Hugh, following her, saw a yellowish-white face on the pillows of a big
-bed hung with dark green. The change was at hand. Sir Roderick’s
-aquiline features were pinched and shrunken; the great bluish circles
-round his dark eyes intensified the fixedness of his gaze; there was the
-heaviness of death in his arms, stretched motionless at his sides.
-
-“Hamlet!” he said, in a far-away voice, and his pallid lips drew aside
-in the faint mockery of a dying smile. “Come here—close. You two women,
-_go_.”
-
-There was a slight suggestion of the living Sir Roderick in the
-irritable peremptoriness of that abrupt dismissal of his faithful
-nurses; in his “What on earth are they doing? Why don’t they go?” as
-they arranged bottles, glasses, and gong on a table at Hugh’s elbow; and
-in his “Are they gone?” when the door shut upon them so softly that he
-could not hear it.
-
-“Of course they are gone.” Hugh bent over his former patient with a new,
-real tenderness. “I am here to do everything you wish me to do, Sir
-Roderick,” he said; “you have only to command.”
-
-“Everything!” said the invalid, hoarsely, with a searching look.
-
-“Everything that my conscience will allow me to do, Sir Roderick!”
-
-The old man laughed, or tried to laugh; but it was a curious rattling
-sound, at which Hugh involuntarily bit his lip.
-
-“That’s a dying laugh. Funny sound, isn’t it?” said Sir Roderick. Speech
-was evidently becoming more and more difficult. “Ugly sound; nasty
-feeling; choked feeling, too. I shall soon cast my chrysalis, Hamlet. I
-sha’n’t come to an end. No. I hope I shall be a poisonous serpent. Don’t
-look shocked. I want to sting human beings. They are worse than devils,
-if there were those fables. Yes, worse than devils,” he muttered, his
-eyes dimming with, Hugh feared, approaching coma. “Devils would be good
-if they could; men can be good, and won’t. I’m not dying, or going to
-sleep, Hamlet, so don’t look like that,” he suddenly said, in a voice so
-like his own, and with such reviving animation, that Hugh almost hoped
-that death was not imminent, despite appearances. “You clergyman’s son,
-you would like me to believe in devils, wouldn’t you? Well, I do. In
-human devils. And you must help me to punish them.”
-
-The last words were said dispassionately, gravely. What did he mean? The
-old man groped for Hugh’s hand, which was resting on the bed near to his
-own. Hugh clasped the icy, clammy fingers in his warm, living grasp.
-
-“Did you ever wonder why I wanted you here?”
-
-It was a question, sudden, and to the point. With those dying eyes
-riveted upon him, Hugh must answer with bare fact.
-
-“I did,” he acknowledged.
-
-“I can’t waste my minutes palavering,” said Sir Roderick, irritable as
-he recognised his utter helplessness. “I read you like a book. I wanted
-you for Lilia.”
-
-Hugh started, and flushed. The room seemed to sway and reel; he hardly
-knew whether he was shocked, hurt, delighted, or horrified. The
-possession of Lilia had been, so to say, hinted to him by his
-inclinations as something he might possibly dare to aspire to in the
-future. To have his ideal, as it were, snatched at, pounded together,
-and shot at him in this fashion was like being physically assaulted. He
-felt mentally wounded, but did not realise how or where.
-
-“I see you know what I mean,” went on the dying man. “You blush like a
-girl. Love is nonsense. But you have a passion for her——”
-
-“I love her!” interrupted Hugh. “I would not have dared—if you had not
-spoken.”
-
-A dreadful chuckle from the sick man seemed to freeze Hugh. If Sir
-Roderick would only refrain from that ghastly, rattling laugh!
-
-“You say you love her, but that you would not have dared—what bosh!
-Hamlet, you would be a bad witness. Never mind. The question is—to be,
-or not to be? Will you marry Lilia, or _not_?”
-
-What a position! He was utterly unprepared, too. For some moments he
-hardly knew what to do or say; then he felt he must fight Sir Roderick’s
-eccentricity for _her_ sake.
-
-“What would your daughter say?” he asked, gently. “You must not dispose
-of her. No one has a right to dispose of another. Of course, I would ask
-her to marry me, if I thought she wished it.”
-
-“Of course she wishes it!” gasped Sir Roderick.
-
-His eyes shone with excitement; cold beads were on his pale forehead.
-
-“How can you tell?” suggested Hugh, in desperation.
-
-The sick man had a fit of gasping. Hugh supported him, fearing that the
-end was come. But after he had swallowed a stimulating draught, he
-revived somewhat, and asked that his brother, Mr. Pym, his nephew,
-Roderick, and Lilia might be summoned.
-
-Feeling a certain dread and a thorough reluctance, Hugh fetched the
-nurses, one of whom was despatched to bring in Mr. and Captain Pym and
-Lilia.
-
-“Hold me,” said Sir Roderick. “Sit by me. Yes, that’s right; and hold
-me. Goodness! why ever there are women nurses I can’t make out! They
-can’t hold one like that!”
-
-It took all Hugh’s strength to support his host’s dead weight. Sir
-Roderick’s cunning had evidently not left him. In Hugh’s position, as
-prop to a dying man, he could hardly assert himself if called upon to do
-so.
-
-The first to enter the sick chamber was Mr. Pym, a slight old man of
-middle height, with a long thin face and small keen eyes. His manner was
-quiet and self-contained. He accepted a chair from the nurse as calmly
-as he would had she been one of his clerks and he in his own office. “An
-emotionless man of business,” was Hugh’s mental comment. “The hero of a
-scandal? Never!”
-
-Then came Roderick—pale, handsome. He inclined his head haughtily to
-Hugh, then bent over his uncle.
-
-“You are not worse, uncle, I hope?” he said.
-
-“Better, according to religious people, like your father,” sneered Sir
-Roderick. “You feel better every Sunday, don’t you, William? Nearer
-heaven? I’m dying, so of course I’m better, nearer heaven.”
-
-Mr. Pym reddened. At that moment Lilia entered. Mr. Pym rose and offered
-her his chair. She was declining it, and going to the bedside, when her
-father querulously said, “No, no; take it!” and she accordingly seated
-herself.
-
-“I wanted you together,” began Sir Roderick, “to tell you a few truths.
-I once believed in honest men.” He looked from one to the other; then
-gave a chuckle, and choked. When he recovered, he added, meaningly:
-“You, William, put an end to that. You made me wiser, much wiser.”
-
-Lilia’s pale face flushed. Hugh met her glance of appeal, and turned
-away. What could he do?
-
-Mr. Pym looked gravely at his brother; then, half-turning to the others,
-said:
-
-“Pray, say what pleases you, Roderick; it will not hurt me.”
-
-“You made a Diogenes of me,” went on Sir Roderick. “Well, at last, I
-found a _man_. This is the man—the rock I am leaning against to die!”
-
-There was silence. Whatever Roderick or his father may have felt, they
-were silent; nor did they betray any emotion by glance or movement. But
-Lilia knelt down and kissed the cold hand lying on the bed. At that
-little spontaneous action Sir Roderick smiled, and Hugh began to believe
-that Lilia’s heart was his.
-
-“I knew I was done for after the accident,” he went on; “but as I had
-found an honest man I didn’t mind. Where’s Mervyn?”
-
-He roused himself, and struggled into a sitting posture.
-
-“Don’t kneel there; fetch Mervyn, can’t you?” he said to Lilia,
-querulously.
-
-“Fetch him,” said Hugh, pleadingly.
-
-He felt overwhelmed by this sudden and unexpected crisis in his life. He
-pitied himself and each one of them for being, as it were, called to
-arms without hint or warning of war. And Lilia—he felt almost as if her
-holiest feelings were to be outraged. Yet, without troubling the dying
-man, he could do nothing to protect her.
-
-There was a hush in the sick chamber. Roderick stood leaning against a
-wardrobe; Mr. Pym remained quietly seated as if he were on the
-magisterial bench, or in his pew in church. Presently the door opened,
-and Lilia came in, followed by Mr. Mervyn.
-
-At the sight of him Sir Roderick gave a sort of grunt of satisfaction.
-
-“You know what I want you for,” he said.
-
-Mr. Mervyn’s pale face flushed, and he glanced uneasily round. Then he
-went up to the bed and laid his hand kindly on Sir Roderick’s.
-
-“Not exactly,” he said, cheerily. “You must tell me, for you said so
-many things. I do not know which one of them you allude to.”
-
-With evident difficulty, Sir Roderick raised his hand and pointed from
-Hugh to Lilia.
-
-“Marry them!” he gasped. “Here, now, at once!”
-
-Mr. Mervyn looked helplessly at Hugh.
-
-“What am I to do, Mr. Paull?” he said. “Lilia!”
-
-Lilia had evidently not heard, or hearing, had not understood.
-
-“What is it he wants?” she asked, coming to the bedside.
-
-“Will you marry her now?” asked Sir Roderick, struggling away from Hugh,
-so that he could look up into his face.
-
-“If she consents,” said Hugh, looking fixedly at Lilia. But her eyes
-were cast down: she was red as a rose—the picture of shame.
-
-Mr. Pym jumped up, as if suddenly awakened from a stupor of
-astonishment.
-
-“I—I protest against this—this mad notion—this insult to my niece!” he
-began, evidently angered beyond power of self-control.
-
-Once more Sir Roderick chuckled.
-
-“You protest against her money being her own, eh?” he said. “You would
-like your handsome son to spend it on his women, eh? Stand back!” he
-said, solemnly, raising his hand warningly as Roderick stepped forward,
-white with passion. “Mervyn, marry them! Do you hear?”
-
-“I cannot, my dear old friend; it is impossible. Think, I have no
-license. To read any service would be mere waste of words——”
-
-His speech was interrupted by a hoarse cry, as the dying man turned up
-his glazing eyes and fell back into Hugh’s arms.
-
-“Take them all away, and send the nurses,” said Hugh, peremptorily.
-
-Mr. Pym and his son instantly retired, but Lilia pleaded to remain.
-
-“Have mercy on me, and let me stay!” she said, turning from Mr. Mervyn
-to Hugh with a piteous expression in her distended eyes.
-
-“You shall stay,” said Hugh, tenderly; “only wait just a minute. Nurse!”
-
-Mr. Mervyn took her to the window, and said all he could think of to
-comfort her. He, like Hugh, sorry though he was, felt almost thankful to
-Death for putting an end to the embarrassing position. But all he could
-think of saying was nothing to the poor child in her agony, he saw that.
-
-When the nurses had arranged the now unconscious man, under Hugh’s
-direction, Hugh came across to the window.
-
-“Coma has set in,” he said to them; “all pain and suffering are over for
-him. But as this state remains somewhat of a mystery to us doctors—I
-myself believe there may sometimes remain a super-conscious state we
-know nothing about—will you come quite close to him, Lilia? Hold his
-hand; let your head rest by him. We never know, it might comfort him!”
-
-Lilia put out her hand, and, guided by him, reached the bed. Presently
-the dying father and the living child were lying side by side, as
-motionless as if both were dead. The nurses sat near, watching and
-waiting. Mr. Mervyn and Hugh sat silently at the window, with plenty to
-occupy their thoughts. The minutes were slowly ticked off by the old
-clock outside the sick-room door, which presently, after some wheezing
-sounds, struck one, hoarsely, in a cracked, aged tone.
-
-One of the nurses rose with a warning “Mr. Paull.”
-
-Hugh knew then what was before him. He went to the bedside, gently
-roused Lilia, who seemed half-asleep, half-stupefied. Then followed the
-feeling of the dead man’s pulse, the listening to the silent heart, the
-mirror held over the blue lips—all in vain.
-
-“Kiss him, dear,” said Hugh, tenderly, to Lilia.
-
-She looked up at him with a wan, bewildered look—the look of a lost
-child; then she flung her arms round her father, and the touch of his
-icy face told her that she was an orphan.
-
-She flung herself back with a shriek.
-
-“You have let him die!” she cried, frantically, to Hugh. “How dared you?
-Why did you? Oh father! come back, come back!”
-
-“Lilia! you forget,” said Hugh, firmly, seizing her wrist. “Remember, we
-cannot dictate to God!”
-
-He threw all the will he was capable of into those words. To his relief,
-he felt that he had some influence over his future wife. She recoiled,
-he felt her stiffen; then she slowly turned her head towards him.
-
-“He is gone? There is no hope?” she asked, quietly.
-
-“No hope—_here_” said Hugh. “Now, you will be good, be worthy of him?
-You will come away with me, _me_ (he trusted me, you know, dear), for a
-little while? We will come back very, very soon!”
-
-Like a child she held out her arms, and allowed him to assist her from
-the bed, and to half-support, half-carry her from the room and
-downstairs to the drawing-room, where, like a tired child, she sobbed
-herself into calm, then sleep.
-
-When she was soundly asleep upon the sofa, Hugh fetched Mrs. Mervyn.
-
-“It is best as it is, is it not?” she asked him, somewhat timidly, by
-which Hugh gathered that the proposed death-bed marriage was no secret.
-
-“I hope so,” he said, ambiguously. Then, outwardly calm, inwardly racked
-with mingled emotions, he turned to face his life under the new
-conditions.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VI.
- THE LOCKET.
-
-
-“Where is Mr. Pym?” asked Hugh, meeting James in the hall.
-
-“Captain Pym is gone, sir. Rode off in a hurry about half-an-hour since.
-If you mean the old gentleman, he’s in the library with Mr. Mervyn.”
-
-Sir Roderick’s brother was evidently unknown to and of little account in
-Sir Roderick’s household. Hugh felt that his first duty was to show
-every deference to a man who had been, whether justifiably or not,
-cruelly insulted by the dying man. He knocked at the library door. It
-was Mr. Mervyn who called out, “Come in.”
-
-The fitful sunshine and the leaping flames on the old-fashioned hearth
-were brightening the room. Mr. Pym had unwittingly seated himself in Sir
-Roderick’s own particular arm-chair. Mr. Mervyn stood on the hearthrug.
-
-“That’s right, Paull,” he said, evidently relieved. “She is better? Had
-a good cry? She’ll do, then. Mr. Pym and I have had a talk, and I am
-glad you should understand each other before he returns home. I have
-assured him, in your behalf, that Sir Roderick’s wishes on the subject
-of yourself and Lilia were more of a surprise to you than to myself.”
-
-“I am not a thief, Mr. Mervyn,” said Hugh, warmly. “If coming here as
-Sir Roderick’s medical attendant I had even thought of Miss Pym as a
-possible future wife, I should have been as much a thief as a common
-burglar—aye, more so.”
-
-Mr. Pym’s long upper lip curved a little with more a sneer than a smile.
-
-“These young men now-a-days are so strangely romantic,” he said, turning
-to Mr. Mervyn. “It has, I assure you, been a great difficulty in my way
-in the matter of my clerks. My partner, Mr. Clithero, invariably defers
-to me in the affair of our staff. This tendency has been a great
-stumbling-block to me. I will not have a person in my employ who uses
-tall talk.”
-
-Hugh bit his lip, but remembered that this man who wished to show him
-that he classed him with his bank clerks, with the despised majority,
-the bread-winning non-capitalists, was not only Lilia’s uncle, but
-possibly his sister Daisy’s father-in-law.
-
-“I have assured Mr. Pym that Lilia, also, was more surprised than I
-was,” said Mr. Mervyn, admiring Hugh’s self-control; for Mr. Pym’s cold,
-measured tones were far more subtly insulting than his words. “This I
-have learnt from Mrs. Mervyn, who at the same time assured me that the
-child had a great regard for you, Paull—quite sufficient to render her
-obedient to her father’s wishes, when called upon.”
-
-“That is all very well, Mr. Mervyn,” said Mr. Pym, dictatorially. “But,
-as you are aware, until quite lately, my unfortunate brother’s pet whim
-was to leave his fortune to Roderick, on the condition that he and my
-niece would marry.”
-
-“Of that, sir, I know nothing,” said Mr. Mervyn, deferentially.
-
-“But you were always in the house, I understand?” said Mr. Pym,
-haughtily. “My brother’s almost adoption of my son cannot have escaped
-your notice.”
-
-Mr. Mervyn cleared his throat; and looking down at his boots, brushed
-some invisible dust from the skirt of his coat.
-
-“I have known Sir Roderick change his mind before now; that is all I can
-say, Mr. Pym,” he said.
-
-“Yes—when he had a mind to change,” said the banker. “The question is,
-if the accident which brought about concussion of the brain did not so
-seriously affect his mind as to invalidate his opinions from that
-moment.”
-
-Hugh was about to speak, but Mr. Mervyn silenced him with a warning
-glance.
-
-“It may be treason to my dead friend; I don’t know; I certainly hope
-not,” he said, “but, if there is to be discussion or law-making on the
-subject of his fortune, I must tell the truth—he had no particular
-fortune to leave.”
-
-Hugh felt as if a heavy weight were uplifted from his heart. “Thank God
-for that!” he said.
-
-The exclamation was so undoubtedly genuine, that Mr. Mervyn
-smiled—almost laughed—but recollecting the dread presence in the house,
-checked himself. Mr. Pym settled his eyeglasses on his nose, looked
-curiously at Hugh as at some new specimen of unclassed animal, then
-dropped his glasses.
-
-“Excuse me, if I think you are mistaken, Mr. Mervyn,” he said, politely.
-“My brother can scarcely have dissipated so large a capital as that
-which he withdrew from us when we dissolved partnership.”
-
-Mr. Mervyn shrugged his shoulders.
-
-“The reading of the Will will doubtless tend to explain matters,” he
-said. “At present, we are even in the dark as to Sir Roderick’s wishes
-in regard to his burial.”
-
-A minute’s silence, then Mr. Pym rose.
-
-“Understand, Mr. Mervyn,” he said, stiffly and pompously, and with
-evident intention turning his back upon Hugh, “until I, as her nearest
-male relative, have had several interviews with my niece, I cannot
-countenance any arrangement for her future which may have been made by
-my unfortunate brother when in an unsound state of mind.”
-
-Hugh’s impulse to resent was suddenly and strongly quelled by a strange,
-almost occult, sensation. He seemed, as it were, suddenly to feel,
-personally, the emotions that old Mr. Pym was enduring. These were
-goodwill towards the brother who had persistently misunderstood and
-quarrelled with him; an almost despair at that death-bed insult; an
-irritable questioning of the motives and intentions of himself and Mr.
-Mervyn, strangers except by hearsay; a yearning tenderness towards his
-orphaned niece.
-
-“Mr. Pym!” he said, impetuously, going to the old man as he was quitting
-the room, “excuse me for detaining you one moment, but I must tell you
-how much your niece’s grief is increased by her father’s treatment of
-you; it was harder to console her for that than for the fact that Sir
-Roderick is dead!”
-
-At first, a slight redness flushing Mr. Pym’s withered cheeks encouraged
-Hugh to fancy that his feelings were touched. But whatever transient
-emotion had caused that flush, it was but transient.
-
-“I am sure I am very much obliged to you,” he coldly said, with a nod
-such as he might have given to a saluting servant; “but really I do not
-think that you, sir, and I need go into these questions. If you will
-direct me to the stables, I will find my carriage.”
-
-Mr. Mervyn at once came to the rescue.
-
-“You wait here for me,” he said confidentially to Hugh. “I’ll see him
-off, and come back.”
-
-Hugh’s sensations when left alone were scarcely pleasant. “I am an
-interloper,” he thought. “Yet I love her! and if I were to wriggle out
-of the situation, Roderick would step in. Roderick! No. I must deal with
-the facts as they are, the best way I can.”
-
-At least, he thought, as Mr. Mervyn cordially held out his hand to him
-as he returned to the room, Lilia’s guardian and trustee did not
-misunderstand him.
-
-“It is a sad time for congratulations,” said Mr. Mervyn; “still, I
-cannot help congratulating you. Lilia is a sweet girl, with the making
-of a real woman in her. I was right when I said that Sir Roderick’s wish
-you two should be married took you by surprise, eh?”
-
-“It was more than a surprise, Mr. Mervyn.”
-
-“Not an unpleasant one? No, I thought not. Mrs. Mervyn assured me that
-you and Lilia liked each other weeks ago. Women are pretty reliable
-judges in these matters. Still, when Sir Roderick told me at the
-beginning of this last illness that he had invited you here, hoping that
-the child would take a fancy to you, I was surprised, I own.”
-
-“What could his idea have been, Mr. Mervyn?”
-
-“He liked you. When Sir Roderick liked anyone, he trusted that person
-blindly, I may say foolishly. Then he had just been disenchanted,
-awakened to the fact that his nephew Roderick is—what I have always
-thought him—a scamp.”
-
-“How was he enlightened?” asked Hugh, drawing a long breath of relief.
-
-“Oh! you know how curiously things get about. He was not a man to listen
-to gossip. But since the 45th were quartered at Aldershot rumours of
-Roderick’s looseness of conduct were in the air somehow.”
-
-“Do you think he intended those two for each other?” asked Hugh.
-
-“I cannot make out,” said the clergyman, slowly. “He made a fool of that
-lad; sometimes so much so that I felt uncomfortable, as if it were
-unreal, a cruel joke he was enjoying all to himself. You see, he hated
-the father.”
-
-“I thought so,” said Hugh. Then he detailed the bitter speeches of the
-dying man, before Mr. Mervyn was fetched by Lilia.
-
-“Dear, dear!” said Mr. Mervyn. “It is not to be wondered at that the old
-man’s back was up just now. Curious old man, that. A bit of a Pharisee,
-I fear. But not as guilty as his brother thought him, I believe.”
-
-“Were you here then, Mr. Mervyn? When that affair of Lady Pym happened?”
-
-“Who told you of the family scandal, eh, young man?”
-
-Hugh recounted his father’s visit and its object.
-
-“Do you know anything of this clergyman son who wants to marry my
-sister?” he asked.
-
-“I met him once or twice, and thought him a prig,” said Mr. Mervyn. “But
-better a prig, than like his brother Roderick.”
-
-“You knew Lady Pym?” asked Hugh.
-
-“I did,” said Mr. Mervyn. “A lovely, winsome young creature; wretchedly
-unhappy. She was made for society and a lightsome life, and Sir Roderick
-literally imprisoned her. If she clung to her brother-in-law—if they
-were more affectionate to each other than in strict justice to him they
-should have been,—I, for one, cannot cast the first stone. It was
-piteous to see that poor girl. When the row came, and she disappeared, I
-felt inclined to give up the living. My one attempt to interfere was met
-with coldness; I could not try again. If it had not been for my wife,
-who was devoted to the poor baby, and literally went on her knees to me
-to stay, I should not be here talking to you now. It is this—with other
-things—that makes it impossible for me to regret Sir Roderick’s death,
-though he has been very kind to me, and to my wife too.”
-
-“And to the poor?”
-
-“No,” said Mr. Mervyn, energetically. “He has been their worst enemy.
-Your work is cut out for you, Mr. Paull, to undo his doings. But you are
-the man to do it.”
-
-“But—I thought—you said—he left no fortune?”
-
-Hugh’s ambition was certainly not to waste his energies in remedying Sir
-Roderick’s mistakes.
-
-“No fortune, as Mr. Pym considers fortune. But you had better see Turner
-and Moffatt, the solicitors, Paull, you really had,” added Mr. Mervyn,
-lapsing into the familiar and confidential. “Someone must take up a
-position of authority; and you are the person to do it, as matters
-stand.”
-
-Hugh wrote off to the hospital authorities for further leave; and next
-day, hearing from Mrs. Mervyn, who was acting as mistress of the house
-_pro tem._, that Lilia would not come down till after luncheon, he drove
-over to the quiet little town where “Messrs. Turner and Moffatt,
-solicitors,” was engraved large upon a brilliant brass plate on the door
-of an old red-brick house.
-
-This house was in a wide, quiet street of the silent country town, where
-the grass sprouted about the cobbles in the roads. A parlourmaid
-conducted Hugh into a prim library, where he was almost immediately
-joined by a little man, dressed with extreme neatness, and wearing thick
-glass spectacles, who met him with repeated little bows.
-
-“A friend of my late client,” he said, insisting upon Hugh’s seating
-himself in a huge arm-chair, like a dentist’s. “Yes, yes.” (He referred
-to Hugh’s card that he was holding between his finger and thumb.) “My
-name is Moffatt. I have always acted for Sir Roderick. Dear me! Very
-sad, very sad! I only heard of his death this morning.”
-
-He sat down and looked at Hugh through his spectacles with an inquiring,
-owl-like gaze.
-
-“I have good reason to suppose that my client has spoken of you to me as
-having treated him very successfully after his accident,” he next said,
-taking off his spectacles and absently polishing them with his
-handkerchief. “Quite in a friendly way—Sir Roderick was very friendly
-with us; indeed he has often honoured Mrs. Moffatt by taking a bit of
-luncheon with us. And how is the poor young lady?”
-
-To Hugh’s surprise, he found that Mr. Moffatt had never seen Lilia.
-
-“Our poor friend—my late client, I should say—was slightly eccentric,
-you see,” said the lawyer exculpatingly, after which Hugh found it
-easier to make a clean breast of affairs as they stood.
-
-“Mr. Mervyn advised me to come to you to tell me exactly what to do,” he
-said.
-
-“Certainly, certainly, Mr. Paull, anything that we can do.”
-
-The little gentleman, who had been mentally casting up Hugh, of whose
-position in Sir Roderick’s will he was well aware, was so far satisfied
-with his new client. The reluctance Hugh showed, during their ensuing
-interview, to accept the situation, he thought foolish. Still, he liked
-the young man for it.
-
-Hugh left him in a more uncertain mood than when he sought him.
-
-He did not see Lilia till next morning. Mrs. Mervyn was kind, even
-tender in her manner to him when they dined _tête-à-tête_, but they both
-tacitly ignored the position of affairs. Mrs. Mervyn recalled and
-recounted little anecdotes which showed Sir Roderick at his best, but
-nothing further was discussed. Even on the subject of Lilia they were
-equally on guard.
-
-“This is the most uncomfortable position a man could possibly be placed
-in,” Hugh told himself, as he breakfasted alone in the dining-room next
-morning, stared at by the painted eyes of the pictured effigies of
-bygone Pyms. “Why will she not see me?” for by Mrs. Mervyn’s message of
-excuse, that she would breakfast upstairs with Lilia, he augured that
-Lilia would not face him.
-
-“What am I to do?” he thought, pacing the room in gloomy discomfort. “Of
-course! I see it. I have been forced upon her. As a loving daughter, she
-was ready to sacrifice herself to please her dying father. If he had
-asked to be burnt like an Indian and she to lie down among the flames in
-suttee fashion, she would have carried out his whim. She shall not be
-made miserable for life. I must insist upon her accepting her release.
-Of course the Mervyns and lawyer Moffatt think it best that Sir
-Roderick’s ideas should be carried out. My duty plainly is, to fight for
-_her_ good, and hers only.”
-
-While he was hotly arguing against himself Lilia was hanging
-despairingly about Mrs. Mervyn in her darkened room.
-
-“My dear, I assure you he loves you, and would have wished to marry you
-even against your father’s wish,” Mrs. Mervyn was assuring the unhappy
-girl for the hundredth time. “If you only see him, you will be convinced
-that I am right. You will, indeed!”
-
-Then Lilia said, brokenly, that she could not. If he would only go away,
-she would write to him.
-
-“Let him take everything, and go,” she said for about the
-hundred-and-first time. “Life is over for me.”
-
-Then once more Mrs. Mervyn said, this time somewhat indignantly, for she
-was losing patience, that such a suggestion to Mr. Paull savoured of
-insult.
-
-“You are cowardly in your grief, Lilia,” she said, sharply. “At least
-tell the young man your ideas yourself, instead of saying them over and
-over again to poor me, who can do nothing.”
-
-Perhaps it was this speech which brought about the following:—
-
-Hugh, impatiently pacing the dining-room, did not hear the door open,
-and when once he suddenly turned round as he reached the hearthrug, he
-started back in alarm at finding himself confronted by a ghostly figure.
-
-It was Lilia, Magdalen-like, with her hair dishevelled and hanging about
-over her white dressing-gown, with her head drooping, her swollen
-eyelids cast down, her arms crossed under her loose sleeves.
-
-“Miss Pym!” he said. Then he placed a chair for her, and set a guard
-upon his emotions.
-
-She sat down on the edge of the chair as if she were on sufferance.
-Indeed, she felt as if nothing in the world was her own now, except her
-grief.
-
-“What can I do for you?” he said, as gently and tenderly as he could.
-“Anything, anything that you wish, I will try to do.”
-
-She glanced up, at this.
-
-“Will you—go?” she said, timidly. “And forget all about us—about him,
-and me? And I will write to you about everything.”
-
-Her head drooped again. He stood looking at her in silence for a few
-moments, wondering what prompted that speech—what, indeed, she really
-felt. Then he said, very gently:
-
-“Am I to understand that you really wish me to go?”
-
-She murmured “Yes.”
-
-“I will, then,” he said. “But you must give me your true reason for
-sending me away.”
-
-“For your—happiness,” she said, with a sigh.
-
-“My—happiness?” he repeated, bitterly. “Even though you may hate me
-because your father wished—_that_—I would rather stay near you, even
-though you would not look at me, or speak to me—than go away—now.”
-
-He hoped his earnestness might have some effect in eliciting the truth.
-But she still sat there dumbly, miserably. After a pause:
-
-“You are—very kind—he used to say so,” she murmured, with a sob.
-
-He felt somewhat exasperated.
-
-“I am _not_ kind,” he said. “And I never say anything I do not mean and
-feel. Don’t you believe me?”
-
-“_Really_ kind people do not know when they are kind,” she said, raising
-her grieved eyes and speaking more firmly. “Make no mistake, Mr. Paull.
-I understand your motives, which seem good to you. But they are not the
-best, or even good, for you or for me. I am positively certain of this.”
-
-“My motives?” he said, scornfully. “Then, I have none! I only know—that
-I love you!” he added, passionately.
-
-She fastened, as if in perversity, on the first half of his speech.
-
-“If you have no motives, I have motives,” she said, slowly. “Therefore I
-am the one to see clearly. And I plainly see, that the best thing for
-both of us is—that you should go away.”
-
-“But—why?” cried Hugh. (In his life, he had never felt more inclined to
-swear.) “That is all I ask you to tell me! Why?”
-
-“I gave you my reason,” she said. “For your happiness!”
-
-“My happiness! What do you know—or care—about my happiness?” he said,
-scornfully.
-
-“More than you care for mine!” she said, rousing a little. “Or you would
-go, without asking why!”
-
-“No, that I certainly should not,” he returned. “Oh, what waste of time
-this beating about the bush is! Lilia, I plainly see what all this
-means. You cannot love me!”
-
-He began pacing the room again. She, poor child, worn out by sleepless
-nights fighting against her inclinations—as she thought, for the welfare
-of this man whom she passionately loved—gazed sadly at him, a pathetic
-gaze of renunciation, which, if he had seen, might have enlightened him.
-
-But he did not see.
-
-“Well?” he said, at last, almost fiercely, halting opposite to her.
-“Your answer?”
-
-“I forget—what you asked,” she said, timidly.
-
-“That is answer enough!” he retorted sadly. “Poor, poor child! You shall
-not be sacrificed.” (Love him, and forget his question? The two things
-were incompatible. He was answered, he considered, and completely.)
-
-With a swelling heart she held out her limp, cold hand to him.
-
-“Be my brother,” she said, with a catching at her breath. “Remember—how
-alone—I am!”
-
-He stooped and lightly touched her hand with his lips.
-
-“If I were your brother, I should stay,” he said, gravely.
-
-“If you were my brother, you would do as you like without asking me,”
-she said, with an attempt at a smile. “Do as you like.”
-
-At that moment there was a tap at the door, and the older of the two
-nurses peeped in.
-
-“Might I trouble you one moment, Mr. Paull?”
-
-He went outside. The nurse handed him a small sealed packet.
-
-“A locket and chain from the patient’s neck,” she said. “Mrs. Mervyn
-would not take it.”
-
-“I will give it to Miss Pym,” he said, wondering how much or how little
-Lilia knew of her father’s personal affairs.
-
-“Nurse came to bring me this,” he said, returning to Lilia. “She says it
-contains a locket and chain she found around—his—neck.”
-
-“A locket—round—his—neck? It must be a mistake,” said Lilia,
-confidently. “He never wore any jewellery—except, of course, his
-watchchain. He did not approve of men decking themselves out with
-ornaments.”
-
-“Well, you can soon find out if it is a mistake,” he said, handing her
-the packet.
-
-She hesitated, took the package, then laid it down on the table as if
-the touch of it had scorched her.
-
-“I cannot!” she said, with a sob. “It seems—such prying, such
-desecration! _You_ open it.”
-
-There was something so childish in her change of voice as she pushed the
-packet towards him, that instinctively Hugh felt comforted. All the
-preceding palaver might have been partly the masquerading of a child,
-suddenly called upon to act the woman.
-
-For a moment he hesitated; then he broke the seal, and handing her the
-locket which had been in his custody at the hospital, said:
-
-“I have seen this before, I think.”
-
-“You?” she asked, recoiling. “How? When?”
-
-“In the hospital—your father wore it then. If I am not mistaken, the
-locket contains a portrait.”
-
-“I have never been photographed,” she said, evidently believing that no
-portrait save of herself could be so honoured. “It is not—a portrait—of
-Roderick?”
-
-“Look and see for yourself,” suggested Hugh.
-
-Her fingers trembled as she opened the locket, then she stared in
-amazement at the miniature.
-
-“I have never seen that person in my life!” she cried. “Have you? Did he
-tell you anything about it? Oh, it is impossible, impossible!”
-
-She was roused, almost excited. She tossed the locket away from her,
-then clutched at it again and devoured the portrait with her eyes.
-
-“Surely the face must recall some one to your mind—there must be
-some—family—likeness?” he suggested, gravely.
-
-“I never saw any one in the least like that!” she said, with withering
-contempt. “It is a horrid face!”
-
-Could she speak thus if the slightest suspicion that the portrait was
-that of her unhappy mother had crossed her mind? Hugh thought not.
-
-“You once—had—a mother,” he said, not without emotion that he, a
-stranger, should be called upon to remind this fatherless young creature
-of the fact.
-
-“I know it,” she said, coldly. “Please do not allude to that—again.”
-
-“What is to be done with this, then?” he asked, chilled by her
-unwomanliness. And he picked up the locket and once more looked at the
-pretty, defiant little face pictured therein.
-
-“I do not see what one thing has to do with the other,” she said.
-
-“I feel certain that this is the portrait of your mother,” he said.
-“And, that being so, what is to be done with it?”
-
-She glanced at him with a curious light in her grey eyes that made her
-look more witchlike than angelic.
-
-“I will show you,” she said; and going to the hearth she stirred the
-logs into a blaze, and detaching the locket from its slender chain she
-dropped it into the glowing heart of the fire.
-
-“I will keep this,” she said, showing him the chain. “It touched his
-neck. You are answered.”
-
-The horrified expression on Hugh’s pale features somewhat quieted her
-passion. He was surprised and shocked. Was her rage pure jealousy, or
-what? He stood there, pondering, with his face averted from her.
-
-“Now you know me!” she said, recklessly. “No—not quite. But I will tell
-you. I hate the woman who dared to marry my father without loving him,
-and so, poisoned his life and broke his heart!”
-
-Somehow Sir Roderick as Hugh had known him was scarcely to be recognised
-as a man with a poisoned life and a broken heart.
-
-“As you have given me a brother’s privilege, I shall use it and tell you
-the truth,” he said, seriously, to the young creature who was, he could
-see, all panting and as it were aflame with long-repressed emotion. “You
-have no right to judge another whom you have neither seen nor known,
-least of all in the case of your mother, to whom you owe your life.”
-
-“And—my misery!” she said, passionately. “If she had not spoiled his
-life, he would have been a happy man—he might be alive, now!”
-
-“This is a very onesided way of arguing,” he said. “Had your parents
-been happy together in the ordinary way, they might have had a large
-family of troublesome sons and daughters, who would have broken your
-father’s heart, as you call it, a dozen times over.”
-
-“She was—a wretch, a wretch!” said Lilia.
-
-In her passion she forgot her new shyness of Hugh. She had seated
-herself on the corner of the table—gracefully enough, she was always
-graceful—but she was swinging her little foot impatiently, and thrust
-away the breakfast things, not yet removed, with evident carelessness
-whether they were broken or not.
-
-“Did it ever occur to you—that if we continue the mistakes those beloved
-dead of ours made here on earth, we might possibly be injuring their
-souls?” said Hugh, gravely. “It seems to me that real grief for the dead
-should show itself in continuing the good they have done—and, perhaps,
-in rectifying those mistakes.”
-
-“My father never made mistakes,” said Lilia, obstinately.
-
-“He seems to have made one, at least,” he said, somewhat bitterly—“in
-thinking that you and I wished—or would consent—to marry each other!”
-
-She blushed and hung her head.
-
-“You were speaking of souls,” she said, presently, in a somewhat defiant
-tone. “What do you mean by souls?”
-
-“You ought to know,” he returned. “Do you not go to church every Sunday,
-and say your prayers?”
-
-“I did so while _he_ was here—but never again, never again!” she said,
-in tones so despairing that Hugh’s growing hardness of humour was
-melted.
-
-“Why not?” he asked, gently.
-
-“I was getting to believe that there might be a good God,” she said.
-“That—is crushed—now I _know_ there is not!”
-
-“You do not know what you are saying, poor child!” said Hugh.
-
-What was he to do? What to say? Never in his life had he felt so
-helpless in thought and word.
-
-She looked up at him with a sad, but quiet little smile.
-
-“Would _you_, hard as you can be, have taken my father from me?” she
-said.
-
-“I thought your mind was larger, stronger,” said Hugh, eagerly. “That
-you could distinguish between this little life and eternity; between our
-poor human ideas and the Eternal Must Be. I am disappointed.”
-
-She sighed.
-
-“I knew it,” she murmured, twisting her fingers. “I knew that when you
-saw me as I really am, you would despise me!”
-
-“Pray, pray do not misunderstand me,” said Hugh, almost hopelessly. “It
-seems to me that all the trouble in life comes from people wilfully
-misunderstanding each other. Will you not believe in my devotion to you,
-that I am ready to do, to suffer anything for you?”
-
-“I am not worth it,” she sighed. “And—really it seems to me that I don’t
-care whether I am or not, or indeed, what happens!”
-
-She was so listlessly miserable that Hugh re-assumed his professional
-manner. She was suffering from the shock. She required complete rest. It
-never occurred to him that if he had taken her to his heart, then and
-there, without question or reserve, that complete rest would have been
-hers. Instead, he sent her upstairs to Mrs. Mervyn, devoutly kissing her
-hand at parting, with the kind, cool words:
-
-“Remember, you have a brother who is ready to serve you day or night.”
-
-So Lilia went wearily up the old staircase and scared Mrs. Mervyn, who
-was scribbling notes at the writing-table in her room, by looking more
-ghostlike than when she left her.
-
-“Well?” said that lady, who had quite concluded that the young people
-would understand each other.
-
-“Well? What?” she asked languidly. “Mr. Paull said I had better lie
-down. Lie down, indeed! As if I could rest!”
-
-“But—you understand each other?” Mrs. Mervyn asked, with a shade of
-anxiety in her tone. She felt her position somewhat onerous.
-
-“Perfectly,” said Lilia. “We are quite agreed—we have adopted each other
-as brother and sister—oh, father, father!”
-
-And she broke down completely, sobbing hysterically for a long time.
-
-When she was quieted, and was seemingly asleep, Mrs. Mervyn had time to
-reflect. What were those two about?
-
-“They are too much in love with each other and cannot talk sense, that’s
-what it is,” she told herself. “Ah, well, time enough! The brother and
-sister business is really nicer during the first mourning, when there
-should be no thoughts of ‘marrying, or giving in marriage.’”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VII.
- FOUND IN AN OLD NOTEBOOK OF LILIA PYM’S.
-
-
- _October —, 18—._
-
-If I do not tell someone, or something, I shall go mad!
-
-Oh! father, father, I loved you so; and what have you done to me?
-
-You could not help dying and leaving me, I know that. The relentless
-progress of atoms, whose rules no one is clear-brained or unprejudiced
-enough to discover, determined your death.
-
-But why, why did you degrade me so? I have been wandering in the dark
-among the pines, in the forlorn hope of meeting your spirit. I have been
-to the place in the churchyard where they buried you, to-day. I knew I
-could not see or hear you, but I thought my mind might feel your mind. I
-felt nothing—but that you—are—_not_.
-
-You are _not_. Terrible, cruel thought! And I have not the courage to
-kill myself and be _not_, as well. This man you have given me to,
-without asking me, holds me, holds every bit of me—body, heart, what
-they call mind and soul—everything. I feel I must do his will, and that
-my own will is as _not_ as you are.
-
-I rage and chafe like a chained beast, and every moment I feel my chains
-are getting less galling—presently, oh, father, father! they will be
-pleasant, like your chains were—then I shall love them—then they will
-crush me, and I shall not be your Lilia any more, but a little piece of
-another identity.
-
-It must have been your plan from the beginning. How you used to talk
-about him after that dreadful time in the hospital! You made him out a
-second “Hamlet,” only larger-minded, cleverer; but never said he was
-young and handsome. You must have purposely let me imagine him like your
-friends, that I might be surprised, that first time he came here. How
-well I remember one evening, when you and I were walking in the wood,
-and you were talking about him, and said he was coming!
-
-“At last I shall see this ancient ‘Hamlet’ of yours,” I said, and asked
-you if there had been an “Ophelia” in his story.
-
-“Scarcely time for that, yet,” you said, in a peculiar way of yours,
-that means I am all at sea—all in the dark about something. But I was
-not interested enough to think more about it.
-
-Then came the day, when a graceful, dark, young, prince-like creature
-walked across the lawn, and when I saw him I felt all paralysed. I felt
-nothing, thought nothing. He stupefied me. I only seemed to wake up when
-he went away; no, some hours after he went back to London, and then my
-whole being seemed to give one great cry of despair, like it did when
-Mr. Mervyn told me of your accident and that you were in the hospital.
-
-I did not know what that feeling of despair meant then. It only
-frightened me. I know what it meant, only too well, now. I despaired,
-because it is impossible that he can ever love me. And no one could see
-him and know him without feeling that life without his love is dry,
-purposeless—a living death.
-
-Oh! why did you bring him here, and ask him to take me? Poor, dear
-father! I thought you could not be mistaken in any one, and you are
-certainly not mistaken in your estimate of _him_. But when you thought
-_he_ could love _me_, how you exaggerated me, how your kind eyes saw
-your poor child in a false light!
-
-I—his companion—his—wife! Impossible! The whole world would laugh, would
-stare! and I should be sick with shame, as I was to-day.
-
-I told him, two days before, that he must go away. I begged him to go
-away. He did not. He thinks he ought to sacrifice himself. So he stayed
-for the “funeral,” as they call it. (Why not good Saxon _burial_?)
-Father, you never treated me wrongly till now. Now you have wronged your
-child. When you were dying, you did what you thought best for me.
-But—to-day—the shame of it!
-
-Your brothers, Mr. Pym and Mr. Edmund Pym, came for the burial. Roderick
-did not come, it was said he was ill; but his brother Herbert, the
-clergyman, you used to laugh at to Roderick, and call the “family prig,”
-came. They followed your coffin through the pouring rain in carriages. I
-sat in my room alone—I could not even bear Mammy Mervyn with me—feeling
-cold and half-dead. While they were seeing your coffin put into the
-ground I was listening to the clatter of plates and dishes, and the
-footsteps of the servants laying the luncheon which those people were to
-eat when they came back. I heard the carriages coming back like
-carriages in a dream. Then Mammy Mervyn would come in with a cup of
-beef-tea. She took me in her arms and dropped tears on to me, which made
-me drink the beef-tea, as the less disagreeable of the two. She told me
-the will was to be read, and Mr. Moffatt said I must come down; and she
-made me put on that dreadful black gown, which you would dislike, I
-know, as much as I do. I went downstairs with her. She asked me if I
-thought I should “break down.” I said the truth: “Mammy, I feel there is
-nothing of me to break down.”
-
-The room was dreadfully light. I could not make out which was which of
-the men in black standing about, till _he_ came up to me and took my
-hand; and the touch of him fired up my life like a flaming match fires
-spirits of wine. Then I again saw—heard—thought—and suffered the anguish
-of your loss acutely. The lawyer, sitting at _your_ table, in _your_
-chair, read your will, and the awful shame settled about me that I shall
-never be able to lift off myself, never!
-
-You left all your money and property to _him_, with the condition that
-he married me. That was all. You never made any arrangement for anyone
-else, or for anything else, should he refuse, or _I_ refuse.
-
-If you could have heard the desecration of your name which followed!
-
-Old Mr. Pym, Roderick’s father, that pinched old man like a sick weasel,
-got up and said he should oppose your will, which was evidently drawn up
-when you were of unsound mind.
-
-At this I started up, and said that I should defend it. You had never
-been of unsound mind.
-
-Mr. Mervyn proposed that discussions, if any, should be postponed.
-
-I said, “Certainly.”
-
-This conversation made me feel all anger.
-
-Then Mr. Pym proposed a private interview with me.
-
-I said: “Yes; will you please come into the drawing-room?”
-
-We went. I drew up the blinds, then stood with my back to the light,
-facing him. He offered me a chair. I declined. No man who has accused
-you of having been of unsound mind shall be invited to seat himself in
-this, your, house if I can prevent it.
-
-He stared at me, I stared at him. He began a speech, muddling the words
-and clearing his throat. Then he accused me of being in league with
-_him_—to have influenced you to disinherit Roderick.
-
-I said: “Excuse me; but I fail to understand what my cousin Roderick has
-to do with the matter.”
-
-He told me that you had made Roderick your heir in a previous will, and
-that you had intended us to marry.
-
-I laughed. That made him very angry. He stamped about the room, said
-many things I could not understand; but finished off by saying that
-“everything was exactly as he expected,” which was plain enough.
-
-I said what I felt, for I was really sorry for him. I said: “I am glad
-of that. It seems to me that what one expects so seldom happens.”
-
-Just then Mrs. Mervyn came in, looking quite frightened. (How
-frightened—or rather timid—these believers in all sorts of unseen
-extraordinary things are!) He and she looked at each other; then he went
-out, and she came to me and said:
-
-“My darling, this is dreadful for you, I am sure! But I know he meant it
-well.”
-
-I said: “He!—who?”
-
-“Your poor, dear father!” she said.
-
-How dared she defend you, and to me!
-
-I said: “My father was above ordinary men. He knew—he could see farther
-than we short-sighted mortals.”
-
-She seemed a little chidden, and I was glad. Then she asked me if I
-would see—_him_.
-
-“I can see, poor fellow! that he had no idea of this, he seems quite
-overwhelmed,” she said.
-
-The white-hot shame of that scorched me. I stood there and—oh,
-father!—suffered an agony, to describe which there are no words—no
-words!
-
-She called him “poor fellow!” Pityingly, she said “he had no idea of
-that, that he was quite overwhelmed.” Oh! my shame, my shame! And I
-never dreamt that I was good enough for him. I had never aspired, never
-should have aspired to being even his friend, much less his wife. Your
-goodness in overrating your child has covered her with a pall—a pall of
-shame—under which she will lie buried till the end of time—if, indeed,
-there should be such a thing as the end of time—which seems absurd.
-
-I said, “To-morrow.” I would see him to-morrow. And I begged for
-solitude. I have had it—utter, complete.
-
- _October —._
-
- [“Two days later” is written in another handwriting on the margin of the
- page.]
-
-For once, I must try and communicate with you, dear father, before I
-begin the new life you cannot blame me for living, for you willed it so.
-
-Did you know that you were giving me to one whose thoughts, opinions,
-feelings are the very opposite of your own? This is the great, important
-question I am trying to put to you—in my mind—for it is no use to cry
-out to you, you cannot hear me. Oh! it is important, most important! For
-why should you have educated me so carefully in the common sense
-conformity of actualities, if you meant me to adopt the ordinary myths
-which _he_ believes? He tells me you knew his opinions, that he
-concealed nothing from you. He cannot lie. So I am to think that you
-felt a secret dissatisfaction with your own explanations of the awful
-mysteries of human life and the universe, and preferred I should adopt
-the blind weaving of human fancies they call faith—religion. Can it be?
-Can it be? I cannot, cannot understand you.
-
-I have sought your spirit everywhere—by your grave, in your favourite
-haunts, in your room. I have knelt and grovelled, imploring you to give
-me one sign, to comfort me with a passing breath. No! no! I have felt
-nothing—but a blank—a silence—_death_!...
-
-Still, you, or what remains of you, may be dimly impressed with my
-burning, fiery thoughts; so I concentrate them and write them down. If
-Thought in Matter can communicate with disembodied Thought, the moment
-may come when you will in some way become acquainted with these
-sentences.
-
-So I will tell you how the fulfilling of your will has come about.
-
-I could not sleep last night—no, not last night, the night after your
-burial. In the morning—(fancy, that was only yesterday morning, though
-it seems so far away it might have been fifty years ago!)—I had no
-courage left. I could not see _him_. I sent Mammy Mervyn to tell him so.
-When she came back I asked her what he said. She answered, “Nothing.” I
-said: “He must have said _something_.” She said: “No. He bowed his head,
-and answered some question James had just asked him.”
-
-Somehow, this silence rebuked me, and I felt I was not behaving with due
-respect to your chosen heir, for that is what he really is. So all day
-long I tried to nerve myself for what I had to do, which was to tell him
-I could not accept the sacrifice of himself, but that I was ready and
-glad to place myself in the position of his younger sister, as you had
-placed him in the position of an eldest—indeed, an only son. This would
-be very hard to say truthfully, feeling, as I do, that to be his own
-wife is the greatest happiness that any living woman on the face of this
-earth can possibly attain. When evening came, I could not face him. I
-felt worn out. I sent him a little note, telling him I would see him
-to-morrow morning (_this_ morning); and locking myself into my room,
-went to bed and tried to sleep.
-
-Sleep was impossible. The night was chill, I knew, though I was hot. The
-moonlight would not be shut out. I heard the quarters chime, the hours
-strike, the noises in the house cease one by one, till the last door up
-above shut softly, and the house had its night hush on, which, when you
-and I were reading together late, you used to call its “nightcap.” Only
-that last night that we were trying to find out something of the
-separate will-power, commonly called “the human soul,” you said, “We
-must wait till the house has put on its nightcap;” and when the hush
-came, you laid down your long pipe, and with that peculiar smile which
-meant _work_, you said, “Come along!”
-
-Then, as I lay tossing, eleven struck, and a thought came to me as a
-lightning flash.
-
-There is an old notion that midnight or thereabouts is the time when
-disembodied spirit-essence can manifest itself in some way; and, as you
-have often seriously said to me, there is always at least a spark of
-fire underlying the dense smoke of these popular fallacies.
-
-I had not tried to find you in the dead of night yet! I got up, put on a
-winter dressing-gown, wrapped my head in a veil, and, going softly
-downstairs, went out into the pinewood.
-
-There I roamed and wandered, straining my thoughts, fixing them upon
-you—yearning, longing for you. The moonlight streamed calmly down; the
-dark night sky was clear and peaceful; the pines stood solemn and still,
-like giant, black-clad sentinels guarding your grave. But _you_—oh,
-father, father!—you were _not_.
-
-Now and then an owl hooted, or one of those screeching night-birds flew
-out of covert. But these natural noises only deepened the stern silence
-of the sleeping world. My wretched body, my miserable senses, were the
-barrier between us. Embodied, we shall never meet again. Oh, father!
-that thought maddened me; I could not bear the separation any longer.
-
-I looked up. (Why do we always _look up_?) That cold, solitary eye of
-the night—the moon—glared banefully at me. To me its chill disdain
-meant: “Fool, why stand there drivelling? If you will have him again,
-_die_.”
-
-The thought steadied me. I would die. Yes; but how, when?
-
-Those poor Mervyns! A rush of pity for dear, good Mammy and her worthy
-husband made me turn away from the idea, wrung with pain. They had been
-so tender and good to me always. What a repayment—to grieve their kind
-hearts!
-
-Overcome, I made my way to the triangle-lawn, and sat down in a corner
-of the stone bench under the laurels to collect my thoughts. Then came
-the most startling event of my whole life.
-
-I had hardly been there a minute, when a figure glided in by the path
-through the shrubs by which I had come—the figure of a man.
-
-It stood motionless in the shadow. At first, with a throb of triumph, I
-thought it was you. I was springing up to rush to you when it made a
-step forward. I saw a white face in the moonlight: the face of a thin
-man with grey hair, all tossed about above his forehead—a face I seemed
-to know, but did not know.
-
-(This I declare to you that I saw, with these living eyes, and never,
-never will I believe that I was deceived. _Never!_)
-
-At first I shivered—yes, with fright. I was afraid of that man, whose
-face was familiar and strange at one and the same time.
-
-Then I suddenly remembered something you said to me when I was a child,
-and Rob the pony ran away and I stuck on. When you came up and found us
-all right you said, sharply, “Were you frightened?” Then, after I
-answered “No,” you said, “That’s right. If you were frightened at
-anything, I should disown you.”
-
-You shall never disown me for cowardice! So I conquered the nonsensical
-tremor, and went across towards the man. As I got near, I saw it was
-he—your Hamlet.
-
-He looked frightened, horrified—I think, shocked. He stared at me
-without speaking while I could have counted twelve; then he said, quite
-harshly:
-
-“Is this the first time you have been here at this hour?”
-
-Before I could think I naturally said “Yes,” and told him why I had
-come.
-
-“This is most extraordinary,” he said, staring strangely at me.
-
-He was not like himself: he seemed dazed. I felt less shy of him.
-
-“I came here for two reasons,” I said. “I was too unhappy to sleep, and
-I thought that if my father’s spirit is hovering about anywhere I might
-find it—him—here.”
-
-Just then the church clock rang out so loudly that I started, and laid
-my hand on his arm. He smiled, and took my hand.
-
-“Even the great philosopher, Miss Pym, is superstitious enough to
-believe in ghosts and to be frightened when the clock strikes twelve,”
-he said, in a familiar teasing way.
-
-“I was not frightened; I was only startled,” I said.
-
-“Come, we must go back to the house at once; I am answerable for you,”
-he said in an authoritative way.
-
-“Answerable? May I ask to whom?” I said, as coldly as I could, though I
-began to feel a strange joy—yes, joy just after my despair, therefore
-all the keener by contrast. Oh, my father, what a paltry nature is mine
-to love another when I have but just lost you! “There is no one that has
-any power over me, no one who can or will ask or care what has become of
-me,” I said, as he did not speak for some moments.
-
-“There is,” he said.
-
-“That is absurd; there is _not_,” I asseverated.
-
-“There is,” he said,—“Almighty God!”
-
-He drew my hand through his arm, and we walked silently towards the
-house. I was wondering why I had shuddered at his sudden mention of the
-Deity; I was frightened to realise that his influence had even greater
-power over me than I thought.
-
-“You are my sacred charge,” he said, in the same serious voice. What a
-voice he has—so deep, yet so mellow! “Do what you may, I shall watch
-over you till I die.”
-
-“If you can find me,” I cried; for the battle to resist him against a
-strong inclination I felt to tell him I was his slave, to do as he
-pleased with, was exciting me to wildness. “Perhaps I shall die or
-disappear!”
-
-“If I thought one thing, I should be the one to disappear; at least, you
-should never be troubled with the sight of me again,” he said, stopping
-when we came to an open place in the road, dropping my hand, and turning
-so that he could see my face plainly in the moonlight. “And I must
-really now, once for all, ask you to answer me a plain question, with
-truth, absolute truth. It is my duty to ask, and your duty to reply.”
-
-“Well?” I said, nerving myself as if for some process of torture,
-dreading, fearing I should give away suddenly, and shame myself for
-ever, beyond repair, beyond recall.
-
-“It is a plain question, and I only want a plain Yes or No,” he went on.
-“Can you love me as a husband?”
-
-I stood still, I gasped. Terror! I had to tell the truth, and that truth
-was horrible. Suddenly I bethought me how to be true both to myself and
-to him.
-
-“It must be plain Yes or plain No?” I asked.
-
-“Yes,” he said.
-
-“Then, _No_!” I cried, emphatically.
-
-He thrust his hands into his pockets, drew a deep sigh, and stared at
-me. His face was in the shadow: I could not see it; but I _felt_ his
-eyes fixed upon me.
-
-“Thank you for your frankness,” he said, just when the silence was
-getting unendurable, and I dreaded giving way and flinging myself at his
-knees, or something equally disgraceful. Oh, the hard, hard fight it was
-to keep cool, silent! “Then the dream is over,” he went on, more to
-himself than to me, beginning to walk along the road again. “I might
-have known it without asking you, child; but it is best to kill a
-delusion right out, at once.”
-
-“What delusion?” I asked.
-
-“The delusion that you, or, for the matter of that, any woman, could
-care to be the wife of a man so totally devoid of interest and charm as
-myself,” he said, bitterly. “Thank heaven! it will never come in my way
-to ask any woman that question again.”
-
-His self-depreciation astonished me. Surely he must know what he is!
-Then I remembered, dear father, how people who are born with great gifts
-do not recognise the fact because it is so natural to them. Indeed, you
-once told me, when that wonderful man M—— condescended to talk to me
-about the beetles he had discovered, that these men of genius cannot
-understand how it is everyone else has not powers similar to their own.
-
-“Do you know that you are telling lies without knowing it?” I said.
-
-“I am—— _What_ did you say?” he said, evidently startled, stopping short
-and once more staring at me.
-
-“When you say you are devoid of charm and interest you are telling a
-monstrous lie,” I cried. “If you don’t know that every woman who sees
-and talks to you must think you a god among men, it is time you did know
-it; for it is much better for women you should not be with them. You
-make them dissatisfied with their people. Don’t misunderstand me! You
-did not make me dissatisfied with my father: he, too, was perfect. But
-after seeing you that time you came and stayed, everyone else seemed
-coarse and common; and Roderick—oh, poor Roderick!—I was very unkind to
-him. I did not want him at all.”
-
-Once more he stopped.
-
-“Do you mean all this?” he said. “Good God! Why, of course you do! I
-forgot how innocent, how ignorant you are! _What_ shall I do with you?”
-
-We stood staring at one another like cats before they begin to fight.
-
-“_Do_ with me?” I said, thinking as I spoke; for I felt very sorry for
-him, burdened with me. “Take my advice, my first advice: have nothing to
-do with me. Go away, and forget my father and me as soon as you can.”
-
-“But why should I? No, no; that is not the question,” he said, sternly,
-like you used to speak sometimes. “Lilia, be sensible! If you think far
-more of me than I deserve, why cannot you consent to be my wife?”
-
-“You never asked me!” I said.
-
-“I have done nothing else but ask you!” he cried.
-
-“You are mistaken,” I said, and with truth. “You did not ask me to be
-your wife; you asked me if I could love you as a husband.”
-
-“And you said ‘_No._’ Such a No!”
-
-“I meant it.”
-
-“You are the greatest puzzle I have ever come across,” he said, almost
-angrily. “I know you mean to speak the truth. But one moment you tell me
-decidedly, in a manner that admits of no doubt, no hope, that you cannot
-love me as a husband, and the next you say extravagant things about
-me—that I am a god among men—things which would be insults from any lips
-but yours. What am I to think? Both cannot be true.”
-
-“Both things _are_ true,” I said. “I cannot love you as, for instance,
-Mrs. Mervyn loves her husband. She doesn’t mind much where he is. She is
-quite contented to stay with me while he is at the Vicarage. But the
-woman who marries you will weary her heart out all the time you are away
-from her; or, perhaps, you might find a girl who would not. I can only
-speak for myself. If you love yourself, and I suppose you do—everyone
-does, more or less—save yourself from me! I cannot love you unselfishly.
-I should be a burden to you; you would get to hate me.”
-
-He took my hands, then took me in his arms—like you used to, father,
-when you said “Good-night”—and he said to me:
-
-“I should prefer to risk hating you, then. Lilia, let us talk sense. You
-are mine—doubly mine, as your father’s dying gift—I am yours. Only
-listen to my advice as you listened to his, and we shall be happy in
-life and death.”
-
-Already, under his influence, I began to see things in a different
-light. What a fool I am! Oh, dear father, what a great, grand thing your
-patience with me has been!
-
-We have talked over everything. He is resolved to let no consideration
-interfere with his working out of whatever talent he has. So for six
-months or so, until he has passed certain important examinations, he
-will work hard in London, and I shall see but little of him. Mr. and
-Mrs. Mervyn will live here; and for the present the Vicarage will be
-shut up.
-
-This, my dear father, is how your will—that our lives should be
-united—will be carried out. I will work on faithfully to improve myself,
-as far as I can be improved. May the end of these months of probation
-find me more worthy of the great honour of being your daughter and his
-wife!
-
- * * * * *
-
-Note in another handwriting: “This ended her diary.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-Extract from the first column of _The Times_, in the June following the
-dates of above extracts:
-
- “On the 24th inst., at the Parish Church of the Pinewood, F——, Surrey,
- Hugh Paull, M. D. Lond., M. R. C. S., etc., to Lilia, only child of
- the late Sir Roderick Pym, Knt.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VIII.
- DIARY OF HUGH PAULL.
-
-
- _May, 18—._
-
-It is positively terrible! to-day I have been married eleven months, and
-during that time my work has been at a dead standstill.
-
-It is rather my poor darling’s misfortune than her fault. For one with a
-temperament of passionate concentration such as hers, a totally
-different up-bringing was called for. School, for instance, and plenty
-of cheerful, natural society afterwards; she should have mixed freely
-with girls of her own age, girls like Daisy. This might have balanced
-her tendency to dwell on one idea to the exclusion of all others.
-
-Week after week, month after month, I have tried to wean her from the
-one theme—our mutual affection. I see, I feel more bitterly each hour
-that she is not in love with _me_, but with her love for me. I may wrong
-her affection: God forgive me if I do! But true love is unselfish. Even
-her love for her father was unselfish.
-
-To-day I have determined to look into the matter. The resolve formed
-itself in my mind during our walk.
-
-She has an embarrassing habit of multiplying wedding-days: I don’t know
-what else to call it. For instance, I had to keep the day week of our
-marriage in a semi-solemn way: in recalling all our sentiments during
-our betrothal, in reading our old letters, in rejoicing that we had met,
-etcetera. A charming idea, especially when supplemented by plans for our
-future management of the Pinewood, our poor people, the tenants and
-labourers. But, like other habits of inspection and classification, not
-good when treated with “vain repetitions.” That day fortnight, that day
-month, the function was not to be cavilled at. But when, the “day five
-weeks” after our marriage, she raised her eyes in that earnest way when
-she gave me my first cup of tea at breakfast, and said: “It is five
-weeks to-day since we were married——”
-
-Well, I had planned to do some work—in fact, to begin my work again; and
-I said, as gently as I could:
-
-“Yes, dear; and to-day we must give up mooning over the past, and begin
-to live real, sensible lives.”
-
-I cannot blame myself for the words, nor for my way of saying them. But
-their effect upon her alarmed me. She became deadly pale, and looked at
-me as if at the very least I had threatened to kill her.
-
-“Did you say ‘_mooning over the past_’?” she stammered.
-
-I confessed that I did.
-
-“What do you mean by ‘_mooning_’?” she asked, imploringly.
-
-“What you are doing now,” I said bravely, for I felt I must begin to
-bring my darling down to earth a bit. (It was for all the world like
-pulling a string attached to the foot of some fluttering and unwilling
-bird.) “You have some romantic idea in your mind. You want to square my
-life and your life with it. It cannot be done. Life is not a poem in so
-many cantos. It is work; hard, dry, but honest _work_.”
-
-“Did I ever say that it was not?” she said, reproachfully.
-
-“No, dear. But——”
-
-Then I explained, as carefully as I could, how essential it was that we
-should settle down; that while I continued to study, I should commence
-practising my profession; a thing as essential to a medical man as
-theoretical study.
-
-“You are going to _practise_?” she asked, in evident horror.
-
-“Certainly,” I said, firmly.
-
-“Where? Here?” (This was at the Pinewood.)
-
-“Scarcely here, I think,” I said. “In London.”
-
-She said no more. For days after she was gentle, affectionate, but a
-very drooping lily indeed. Everything seemed an effort to her.
-
-I persisted. Sir Roderick’s town house had been sold to pay off some
-mortgages on the Pinewood. So I saw my good friend Dr. Hildyard about a
-house. After discussion, he offered me a floor in his house (which he
-only used for business, having taken a country house near Finchley as
-his place of residence).
-
-“By-and-by we may take it into our heads to be partners, Paull,” he
-said. “Then you will be on the premises.”
-
-It was a brilliant prospect, and my poor girl rejoiced with me. In
-theory, it was delightful; in practice, impossible.
-
-Day by day I would return to find the spectre of a wife, instead of the
-living, breathing entity I had married. I soon found out that although
-Lilia occupied each hour according to a plan we had drawn up together;
-although she managed her household cleverly, visited her people, taught
-in the school, and studied chemistry and physiology, as she wished, as
-she termed it, to be able at any moment to help me in minor matters if
-called upon, she seemed to _rust_, as it were, working and living alone.
-
-At first I thought it was loneliness, and Daisy came and spent the last
-days of her single life with us, Herbert Pym coming occasionally. (An
-abominable prig, that!) But after a few weeks, my sister came to me with
-a serious face.
-
-“I must speak to you, Hugh,” she said, with an evident struggle;
-“Herbert said it was my duty. My dear boy, do you _know_ about Lilia?”
-
-“Know?” I repeated, slightly nettled by Mr. Herbert’s
-Jack-in-office-ship. “Of course I know everything my wife says and does.
-I almost flatter myself she tells me her secret thoughts.”
-
-“That is just _it_,” said my sister, who seemed quite unlike her usual
-bright self. “We cannot help seeing, Hugh, that if this sort of thing
-goes on, Lilia will ruin your life.”
-
-“And pray why do _we_ think so?” I asked.
-
-“If you were to see her when you are away! She does what she sets
-herself to do. But in such a way! As soon as you are gone, she changes.
-She gets pale, and a sort of film comes over her eyes. She doesn’t
-really seem to understand what one says to her; and I can see that the
-poor people we go to see are beginning to think that you beat her, or
-something. The other day, old Dame Ashwell (that wonderful old woman who
-lives in the thatched cottage at the end of Swain’s Lane) looked quite
-disgustedly at me, and when she condescended to speak to me, was very
-dignified indeed; and yesterday, when I met her in the wood picking up
-fir-cones and determined to have it out with her, I found out that not
-only she but most of your people are noticing how miserable Lilia looks,
-and how different she was when the ‘old gentleman was alive,’ as they
-call it.”
-
-It was this talk with Daisy which determined me to give up all idea of
-practising my profession for the present; and the very day after Daisy
-left us (I would not allow Herbert the satisfaction of knowing that his
-interference had influenced me, so sure I am that he has a secret grudge
-against me because he thinks I was the means of ousting his brother
-Roderick)—the very day after I was well quit of my sister and her
-betrothed, I went to Dr. Hildyard and told him how matters stood.
-
-He was more taken back and affected than I could understand. He was
-silent for awhile; then he said:
-
-“You had better let me see your wife, Paull. She must not stand in your
-way in this fashion.”
-
-For him to see Lilia while entirely in the dark as to the peculiarities
-of her past life would never do. But we made a compromise. Shortly he
-would take a holiday, and spend it at the Pinewood.
-
-He came, he saw, and was conquered. As I had been for some days entirely
-at home, Lilia was in the most brilliant of humours. She treated our
-distinguished guest with all the consideration and respect which Sir
-Roderick had known so well how to lavish on his favourites; and to this
-was added a womanly tenderness and reverence under the influence of
-which Dr. Hildyard expanded and, as it were, blossomed out into a
-geniality I had not before known in him.
-
-It seemed to me that he told my wife the whole story of his life. She
-was intensely interested, and made so many apt and pertinent remarks
-that I began to see more than ever that if I pursued my profession, and
-left her to herself and her hopeless mood, between the two stools I
-should probably fall to the ground. Thus, she was a perfect woman. Away
-from me, she was literally _non est_.
-
-An embarrassing position. Dr. Hildyard decided me. We had the matter out
-the day he left us. He said, warmly:
-
-“Paull, I confess that from what I heard of your wife, I came here
-prepared to find her one of three things: mad, a fool, or a victim to
-hysteria. From what I have seen and observed, I think her one of the
-sweetest women alive, but a perfect baby.”
-
-I told him my growing fear that she was becoming too absorbed in my
-companionship, that it might in time become almost a monomania.
-
-He smiled.
-
-“I think that will cure itself,” he said, “by the homœopathic system.
-You will find two babies less trouble than one.”
-
- _Friday, May —._
-
-I was interrupted after that last word (I was writing late, in the
-study) by quick footsteps down the staircase, and Lilia came in in her
-dressing-gown.
-
-“I was dreadfully frightened!” she said. “I must have fallen asleep,
-although I _thought_ I was awake, listening for you; and I woke up and
-you were not there! And the clock struck one!”
-
-“And if it did?” I said, taking her on my knee, after shutting this book
-into a drawer. Her heart was beating, she was trembling. “Oh, Lilia!” I
-said. “I thought I had married a woman who would bravely face life at my
-side, not shrink and cower at shadows like a nervous horse.”
-
-Then I talked seriously to her. Many husbands in my position would have
-been able to use the argument of maternal responsibility to urge her to
-be more matter-of-fact, less absurd in her fancifulness, and I said so.
-
-“You dislike giving me pain, dear, I know,” I said. “And your horror of
-the poor little one God may give to us is a great pain to me. Other
-women rejoice at such a prospect.”
-
-She drew herself away from my arm and looked fixedly at me.
-
-“What other women do you mean?” she said.
-
-“All women, at least most women,” was my answer. “Lilia, I cannot
-understand this feeling, or rather this want of feeling, in you. Tell me
-truly, frankly, darling, why do you hate the idea of a child—our child?”
-
-She took my face between her hands and kissed me.
-
-“Because,” she spoke passionately, “you may love it—would love it; and I
-cannot spare one thought, one word, one look of yours!”
-
-I sighed, I could not help it. Then I reminded her of a great oak we had
-seen during an expedition with Dr. Hildyard into the adjacent county. We
-had paused to look at the giant, around whose spreading branches ivy had
-climbed and twisted until bough after bough was dying.
-
-She had said:
-
-“That ivy clings to the tree like I cling to you.”
-
-“The ivy is choking the life out of the oak,” said I; “it is to be hoped
-you will not do the same by me.”
-
-I said it, and she took it, jestingly. But, as I told her, if matters do
-not mend—if I cannot at least have freedom for study, or to go to town
-now and then on business and to look people up, my end may be the same
-as the oak’s.
-
-She was all penitence, all promises; nor would she leave the study until
-I had given her my word that I would for the future go on my own way
-regardless of her feelings, which she would try to modify by degrees.
-
-Before we retired for the night, I had promised to go to town to-day for
-some scientific works I particularly want, and to transact neglected
-business.
-
- _Sunday, May —._
-
-Only two days! It seems weeks—weeks of horror, anxiety—since I wrote
-those last words.
-
-I went to town, got my books, saw Dr. Hildyard, etcetera, and returned
-by the seven o’clock train. Thomas was to meet me at the station with
-the dogcart. He was there. At first I noticed nothing unusual, but the
-instant I reached my seat he drove off at a tremendous rate.
-
-“Gently, gently!” I cried. “What’s wrong with Firefly?”
-
-“Nothing’s wrong with the _hoss_, sir,” he said, gruffly; “but we’ve had
-visitors to-day, and whether it’s them or not I don’t know, but the
-missus is upset, like.”
-
-“Is your mistress ill?” I cried, startled, dreading I knew not what.
-
-“I dunno, sir,” was all I could get out of Thomas for some minutes,
-until I was really angry, when he blurted out that “one of them Pyms—the
-old ’un, he thought,” had come and had had a long interview with my
-wife, since which no one had seen her or had been able to find her.
-
-Distracted, I had poor Firefly driven home at racing speed, and
-searched, first the house, then the grounds, with lanterns.
-
-No result. I feared calling her name, for the cottagers might hear, and
-there would be fresh talk such as that Daisy repeated to me.
-
-May I never, never have to go through such a time again! I was getting
-mad with anxiety and fear when something seemed to _say_ to me—not in my
-ear, but in my mind:
-
-“Her father’s grave.”
-
-With a flash of hope, I bade the men who accompanied me stay where they
-were; and taking a lantern went on into the churchyard alone.
-
-The lantern sent a flicker upon a black heap on the grass: Lilia,
-asleep—or dead?
-
-Her dress was wet to the touch, drenched with dew. Feeling half crazy
-with dread, I gently shook her.
-
-She started, and staring with dazed eyes, sat up, rubbed her eyes (thank
-God! she had only been asleep, but that was bad enough!). Then she said,
-“Oh, dear!” looked at me, first with sharp inquiry, then with a smile,
-and held out her hands to be lifted up.
-
-“How _could_ you?” I said, as she clung to me.
-
-“My uncle Pym came and said cruel things; said your inhuman treatment of
-me was the talk of the countryside: that I owed it to myself to leave
-you and go and live with him; and when I told him what I thought of him,
-got in a fearful rage, told me I was a fool and a dupe, and I should rue
-it, and went away,” she said, in her direct, childish manner. “Then I
-felt very bad—so lonely—and came here. I could not help crying, and I
-expect I cried myself to sleep. But I am not sorry!” she added,
-triumphantly, “for you look so ill, that I see you have really cared;
-that you really do love me!”
-
-If I had not been so thankful to find and hold my darling to my heart
-once more, this would have been exasperating.
-
-“Lilia, your absurd want of faith will be your ruin,” I told her. “Do
-you know that since our first meeting my experience of you has taught me
-that Faith is not only necessary to people’s happiness, but to their
-soundness in mind and body?”
-
-Then I cautioned her to be careful what she said and did before those
-men—there would be talk enough of to-day’s incidents as it was,—and we
-went back to the house.
-
-But the shock of that malignant old man’s visit had its natural result.
-Before morning my darling was suffering greatly. As soon as the
-telegraph-office was open I wired to Dr. Taylor (the specialist to whom
-Dr. Hildyard had introduced me, and who had promised to come to us if
-necessary). By midday he came. Towards evening a pale, delicate little
-boy was taken to his mother to be kissed. She was quite revived by the
-fact that he was a boy.
-
-“You may say I am selfish! I am,” she said, wistfully, to me afterwards.
-“But if it had been a girl, and you had loved her like my father loved
-me, what room would there have been in your heart for me?”
-
- _June —._
-
-The little one is a week old to-day. It is very sweet to see mother and
-son together. I could sit and look at them by the hour. But “Life is
-real, life is earnest!” as the great author of that incomparable “Psalm
-of Life” says; and all the more that the boy has come upon the scene, I
-must be “up and doing, with a heart for any fate!”
-
-Any fate! what fate can I fear, with those two precious ones to love and
-work for?
-
- _July —._
-
-Can I, this wretched, hopeless wreck, groping in a thick darkness, where
-not the faintest gleam of hope tells me what I am, where I am, how I am
-to bear my life—can I be the _fool_ who wrote that last entry?
-
-Fool, fool! I boasted of a to-morrow. If ever any eyes see this—man or
-woman,—I solemnly warn you, never, NEVER, whatever happens, however you
-may have been blessed, look upon to-morrow with anything approaching to
-the feeling (was it confidence or presumption?) with which I wrote those
-last words.
-
-It was all sunshine that day; next day the storm was down upon me with a
-vengeance.
-
-My darling was lying on the sofa (it was a sultry afternoon) by the
-window. We were looking over a map together, discussing where we should
-all go for change of air as soon as she might travel, when suddenly she
-asked me “if I would mind shutting the window.”
-
-“I think the wind must have changed,” she said, pulling her little shawl
-together over her shoulders; “I feel quite cold.”
-
-She could not possibly have had a chill; the air itself was like that
-which comes from a heated oven. However, I closed the window. I had
-hardly done so when she was seized with shivering.
-
-I called Nurse, who is a kind, but highly-experienced woman. I called
-her in fear. I saw her look swiftly at Lilia, then at me.
-
-_Then I knew._ We both pretended to Lilia to think nothing of the
-rigours which shook her and turned her lips blue over her chattering
-teeth; but I stole my opportunity, rushed downstairs, sent off a
-telegram to Dr. Taylor, despatched a messenger for the Mervyns. I could
-not face this alone: I turned coward. I “groaned in my anguish, and the
-thorn fastened in me.”
-
-And when I went back—the pity of it—Nurse struggling to lift the pale,
-suffering darling into bed, and baby crying piteously in the next room;
-while _she_ said piteously to me, “He might be quiet till I get warm,
-mightn’t he?”
-
-Poor infant! if he were quiet till his mother got warm, he would never
-cry again.
-
-I sent Nurse to quiet him, and waited on her myself. I did everything, I
-hazarded everything I dared, to bring about a reaction. But presently
-she complained of her chest.
-
-“I feel as if they had taken one of those hideous flat stones off a
-grave and laid it on my chest,” she said, gazing at me with eyes that
-looked bluer and more staring than those dear grey eyes had ever looked.
-“What is it? Is there anything wrong with my heart, Hugh! Tell me, is it
-my _heart_?” (with alarm).
-
-“Stuff!” I said. “I let you sit up too long, and you are chilly, that’s
-all.”
-
-Then I began, watching her stealthily, to talk as easily as I could.
-
-Her features were paling into an ugly yellow, her eyes were sinking, and
-her nose looked pinched. Nurse, coming to the bed with a cheerful “Well,
-dear, are you all right now?” gave me a look that, knowing well enough
-what was happening, stabbed my very soul.
-
-“Rather quick, don’t you think so?” she managed to whisper to me.
-
-She need not have whispered. I knew my wife was sinking away from me as
-fast as any human being has ever sunk from time into eternity.
-
-And _how—how_ was she going?
-
-“What is making that buzzing noise? I can’t hear you two,” she said
-presently. “And, Hugh, raise me, or I shall choke!”
-
-She was gasping. I raised her. She did not feel cold now. Nurse was
-fanning her.
-
-No hope for anyone to come! I felt desperate. Just then she said, “_You_
-fan me; Nurse—baby.” So Nurse gave me the fan and went away. The dying
-must be obeyed.
-
-As I held her—a dead weight—on one arm and fanned her with my disengaged
-hand, she looked up at me with a terrible look—the most hopeless, yet
-defiant and angered, look I have ever seen in human eyes. I once saw it
-in a celebrated picture of “Lucifer at His Condemnation,” and,
-remembering this, it was hell to see it in my wife’s eyes now.
-
-“I must know,” she said, in her altered voice. “Is this _death_?”
-
-“It may be,” I faltered. I dared not withhold the awful truth.
-
-She smiled—a sneering, derisive smile.
-
-“And you still believe in a good God?” she said.
-
-“More than ever!” I said, my very life in my words. “Darling, how could
-I live and see you like this if God did not hold me, help me? I should
-be like a dead thing—helpless—and you know I am holding you up. I am
-calm, I can talk, by the mercy of God——”
-
-“Hush!” she said, violently, with a tremendous effort raising herself
-(she was gradually slipping down, hold her how I might). “Do not say any
-more about _that_. Tell me, how long have I——”
-
-“My darling, I have sent for Dr. Taylor; we must not give up hope,” I
-said. In my agony of despair the words mocked me like so many separate
-and distinct lies. “He may do something. Why should you die? You are so
-young——”
-
-“I asked you, _how long_?” she repeated. “I have something to say.”
-
-“Days—I mean hours,” I stammered, lying hard and fast in my misery.
-
-She feebly shook her head.
-
-“No, no!” she said; “perhaps in a minute. I want you to promise your
-dying wife something. Will you—whatever I ask?”
-
-“Anything! anything!” I said. “Your will is my will now!”
-
-“_Anything?_” she repeated.
-
-Drops, those last cold drops, were on her brow.
-
-“I swear—anything,” I said, recklessly.
-
-“Ah!” she laughed.
-
-Yes, let me remember that, in her hour of agony, I pleased her so—that
-once more, for the last time, I heard that sweet little joyous laugh.
-
-“Well,” she said, “as soon as I am dead, go downstairs. In the
-right-hand drawer of my father’s writing-table you will find a small
-revolver. I have kept it loaded. Shoot yourself! We shall then be as
-much together as we are now. You will?”
-
-It was an awful struggle—her dying eyes gazing into mine. At last I
-said:
-
-“I—will.”
-
-“Now I don’t hate this God of yours quite so much,” she began, when
-suddenly her face was convulsed, a rattle came in her throat, her eyes
-glazed.
-
-Minutes passed—half-an-hour; then (she had been dead a
-quarter-of-an-hour) I left her body, her beautiful young lifeless body,
-to Nurse, after kissing those dear lips for the last time, and I went to
-fulfil my promise.
-
-I locked the library door, and, opening the drawer, found not only a
-revolver, but a case of pistols. The revolver seemed to me
-untrustworthy, so I cleaned one of the pistols, and loaded it. Did I
-feel remorse, anxiety, as to my future? I did not. I felt absolutely
-apathetic, commonplace, as a body, I imagine, might feel without its
-soul, if its life could continue under those conditions.
-
-I had just completed the loading to my satisfaction when there was a
-knock at the door.
-
-“I will come presently,” I said.
-
-“Please, let me in,” said Mrs. Mervyn. “Baby fell off the sofa and is
-hurt. I have brought him.”
-
-Her child! For an instant the room whirled; then an agony of grief
-welled up within me. The poor, innocent child!—our child!
-
-Senselessly, I staggered to the door, opened it, and took the babe from
-Mrs. Mervyn. He was not much hurt—a wound on the head of but slight
-importance.
-
-Turning to reassure Mrs. Mervyn, I saw her gazing at the pistols as if
-she were petrified.
-
-“You meant _this_?” she said to me, her face aflame like the face of the
-accusing Angel. “What a love God must have had for you, for you to have
-been saved!”
-
-Walking to me, she took baby’s hand and laid it on mine.
-
-“He has saved you,” she said. “Oh, never, never forget it!”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IX.
- THE BEGINNING OF THE SEQUEL.
-
-
-At first Hugh felt and seemed crushed. He had thought of many
-difficulties and troubles that might await him in his married life, but
-the one thing which had not entered into his calculations—Lilia’s
-death—was the unexpected occurrence which happened.
-
-He had sometimes felt, from the first beginning of their married life,
-that something was hanging over him—some fatality. The whole story of
-his acquaintance with the Pyms was so strange, that the memory of it
-oppressed him. Perhaps this accounted for the feeling of discomfort
-which was now and then almost a dread of the future.
-
-There were moments when he had thought that perhaps he was destined to
-die early; and he had made his will carefully, after much consultation
-with Mr. Mervyn, who was always, as it were, ready to hand during his
-short married life. Never, never once did he think he was to lose his
-beautiful tormentor, and so tragically.
-
-At first he was prostrate. No one could rouse him. His father came to
-him and stayed. Dr. Hildyard spent his Sundays at the Pinewood. But
-efforts to coax and even startle him out of his gloom were fruitless.
-For a whole year he could not shake off the vivid recollection of what
-none but himself knew—the crowning horror of Lilia’s death-bed, her
-awful request, and his promise.
-
-But through all this darkness of soul his faith did not waver. He
-reproached himself bitterly that he had not insisted more, struggled
-more, to help Lilia in her uncertainty, her unbelief. He blamed himself
-for her dying blasphemy, and for what he considered his cowardice in
-promising to kill himself. He went through their short life together
-over and over again, telling himself that at this juncture he ought to
-have said and done this thing, at such another that. He spent his days
-in listless wanderings about the Pinewood; his nights, or the best part
-of them, in feverish study, which availed him little or nothing. Thus
-passed the first year of his widowerhood.
-
-Then came another sharp shock—the death of his good, kind friend, Dr.
-Hildyard, after a short illness of ten days.
-
-During those ten days of close attendance upon his patron, Hugh’s eyes
-were opened. He saw that, the existence of which in a human being he had
-never suspected, never believed possible, a lofty soul.
-
-Doctors are proverbially the worst patients. Dr. Hildyard, well aware
-that this was the end of his career, was a little impatient, perhaps, as
-to remedies which could not possibly reverse the _fiat_. In a few days
-his soul would be required of him, he knew that. He bore his physical
-agony with stoicism; his anxiety to leave his affairs in perfect order
-was so intense, it was a greater soporific than any narcotic. He talked
-much and often, between the paroxysms, to the young man in whose genius
-his faith had never wavered. He told his life—the difficulties he had
-successfully fought against and overcome, the awful temptations he had
-struggled with to the bitter end, the enmities which had dogged his
-footsteps and poisoned his simplest enjoyments—to Hugh. Each day of Dr.
-Hildyard’s existence, each day of that man who was supposed to be one of
-the most enviable beings in creation, who was in receipt of splendid
-fees, courted by all classes, the much-lauded hero of the medical press
-and the secretly hated of all the unsuccessful of the faculty (and their
-name is legion), was a miniature martyrdom; and he was awaiting his
-release with eager joy—a joy only damped by remorse that he had not done
-better, had not been a more faithful servant of the Giver of All.
-
-“The miserable way in which I have crawled through my difficulties!” he
-wailed to his _protégé_. “Paull, never, never, _fly low_! Soar over your
-temptations and troubles, or when you come to die you will be ashamed of
-yourself, like I am!”
-
-It was Dr. Hildyard’s exalted opinion of what a man should be, that
-first abashed, then roused, Hugh to cast aside self and live a new life.
-
-Very soon after his friend’s death he set himself resolutely to a fresh
-beginning.
-
-He had been strongly recommended by Dr. Hildyard to the influential men
-who came to shake his hand for the last time; and his start in practice
-as a specialist in nerve cases was made easy to him.
-
-He took a house recently vacated by a well-known physician in a street
-frequented by doctors near Regent Street, and soon had plenty of
-patients, mostly former patients of Dr. Hildyard’s, who already knew him
-by repute. Before five years were over he had made some remarkable
-cures, had contributed some original and, in certain cases, startling
-papers on obscure nervous diseases to the leading medical journals, and
-was elected to appointments in four metropolitan hospitals.
-
-Then he was consulted by royalty, and his private practice doubled
-itself. Ten years passed away, fifteen—it was now nineteen years since
-the awful day of Lilia’s death—and Dr. Hugh Paull was not only known
-throughout the English-speaking world, but his works were translated
-into French, German, and Italian, and his name was honoured by the
-medical profession in all countries.
-
-His private life might be summed up in one word—_Ralph_.
-
-Ralph was the name he had allotted to the puny pale babe who had been
-the unconscious instrument of his salvation from self-murder.
-
-Ralph had been the name of an invalid uncle, his father’s younger
-brother, of whom he had pleasant childish recollections—a gentle,
-white-faced young man stretched on a couch in a pretty garden, who had
-seemed to know exactly what little boys liked, and to let them have it.
-So when he stood, one of the little group of black-garmented persons at
-the old stone font in the Pinewood church, and Mr. Mervyn said, “Name
-this child,” he remembered his uncle and said “Ralph.”
-
-The delicate babe with the thoughtful blue eyes grew slowly and
-painfully from babyhood into childhood, from childhood into youth. At
-first Hugh felt the responsibility of being father and mother in one to
-the fragile boy—a heavy care. The child was always in his mind, an
-anxiety that never left him.
-
-One day he had gone to a well-known educationist almost in despair.
-After detailing his experiments in nursery training, which up to then
-seemed a failure, he said, “What am I to do?”
-
-“Leave the child alone, like I left mine,” said the authority. “Get him
-a good nurse, and don’t interfere with her without necessity. When you
-have done with the nurse, get him a good governess; then send him to
-school.”
-
-To Hugh, who had hitherto acted as a head-gardener devoted to one sickly
-plant, the advice seemed rough. But he plucked up courage, and acted
-upon it.
-
-The boy grew up without many complications; but he was a strange, silent
-lad. His two characteristics were an unappeasable love of study and a
-concentrated, but undemonstrative, devotion to his father.
-
-From the beginning of the change in Hugh, when he first began his
-professional life in London, it was his custom to spend Saturday and
-Sunday at the Pinewood. The trio—the tall, now gaunt and
-careworn-looking, man; the thin, effeminate boy, and the mastiff Nero,
-who always dogged their heels (an immediate descendant of Hugh’s first
-acquaintance at the Pinewood)—were familiar figures to the country folk,
-who were attached to Dr. Paull with an attachment born of his unvarying
-justice and kindliness.
-
-Following the advice given by the authority, Ralph’s instruction in
-matters of faith and dogma was strictly ordinary and orthodox; and
-remembering the result of Lilia’s peculiar up-bringing, Hugh was careful
-to throw his son into the company of others of his own age as much as
-possible. He failed to see what others saw—that the boy could not endure
-the companionship of his fellows, and only suffered it because it was
-his father’s will.
-
-Meanwhile, Ralph showed great aptitude for science, and at nineteen was,
-to his great delight, appointed secretary to the famous geologist W——,
-who had been one of his grandfather Sir Roderick’s intimate friends. At
-the time of the second storm that shook Dr. Paull’s life to its
-foundations, Ralph was away on a walking tour with the great scientist.
-Hugh Paull was alone in his town house.
-
-He was sitting at the large dining-table in the big, silent room. The
-thin, dark-eyed man, whose prematurely white hair added a dignity to the
-pensive beauty of his face, would have been a suggestive figure to an
-imaginative painter. As he slowly ate his frugal dinner, his eyes fixed
-as he continued some important train of thought, now and then leaning
-back in his chair, and absently crumbling his bread, while the old
-butler Jones hovered noiselessly about in the background, this picture
-of well-appointed solitude might have been named “Successful, but
-alone.” Perhaps never, until Ralph went on this tour, had Hugh so
-realised his desolation.
-
-It was the height of the London season, and that very day he had had
-three important consultations beside hospital and other work. But the
-silence of the huge, quiet house oppressed him. He found it tiresome to
-eat. He was planning to tire himself further by preparing a paper on a
-recent case for the _Lancet_ when a carriage drove up to the door, and
-there was a somewhat violent peal of the hall bell.
-
-Jones, who had been butler to Dr. Hildyard till his death, and then
-accepted service with Hugh in preference to any other, knew his rules
-thoroughly. He was a spare little man, well fitted for his vocation; for
-he had a respectful, almost soothing manner, which softened the denials
-he had so often to give to nerve-patients wild to obtain the immediate
-attendance of the great authority, Dr. Paull.
-
-He went silently out, and gently opened the street door. The smart
-single brougham and pair drawn up before the house was as unfamiliar to
-him as were the two gentlemen standing on the doorstep, one of whom was
-tall and fair, the other being short and dark, with piercing black eyes
-and a thick black moustache. Both were dressed in the height of fashion;
-in fact, were evidently _petits-maîtres_.
-
-It was the tall, fair man who, slightly lifting his hat, said in good
-English, but with a foreign accent:
-
-“Can we see Dr. Hugh Paull at once?”
-
-The bold demand—for Hugh was now a “consulting physician,” to be
-approached through the patient’s ordinary medical attendant—nearly
-deprived poor Jones of breath. He gave but one gasp only though, and
-remembering these were foreigners and ignoramuses in medical etiquette,
-recovered himself, and said politely, but in a somewhat shocked tone of
-voice:
-
-“I am very sorry, sir, but that is quite impossible.”
-
-The fair man turned to the dark one with a smile, and said something
-rapidly in a foreign tongue, upon which the dark young man produced a
-cardcase and presented Jones with his card, saying, “Please, you will
-give the docteur,” in broken and very foreign-sounding English.
-
-Jones, seeing the word “Prince” prefixed to a, to him, unreadable and
-unpronounceable name, was somewhat startled, for the title meant royalty
-to his British mind. For a moment he was puzzled; then, saying, “Please,
-will you step this way?” he hurried along the bare stone hall, and
-ushering the distinguished visitors into the cheerless waiting-room,
-with the skylight, rows of dining-room chairs against the walls, and an
-old dining-table, whose dingy cloth was strewn with as dingily-covered
-volumes of illustrated journals, hurried to his master with the card.
-
-Hugh glanced at it listlessly, read “_Le Prince Andriocchi_,” and laid
-it aside. Stray patients, arriving at odd moments, were always dismissed
-with a certain formula, and Hugh was not giving a second thought to the
-Prince Andriocchi or his card when an anxious voice piped at his elbow,
-“What am I to say, sir?” and turning, he saw Jones watching him in
-evident dismay.
-
-“Say?” he asked. “To whom?”
-
-“To the prince, sir! I took him into the waiting-room.”
-
-“You took him into the _waiting-room_?” repeated Hugh, hardly believing
-his own ears.
-
-For a patient to be admitted outside regular hours and against all rule
-was a most unwonted occurrence, and by Jones the impregnable, the
-unassailable! Had a golden talisman—No! such an idea was a treason to
-the faithful old servant.
-
-“I thought as he was a prince, sir,” stammered Jones.
-
-“Oh, well, never mind! I will explain to him that I cannot see him now,”
-said Dr. Paull, good-naturedly, rising and going to the waiting-room.
-
-The two men were seated, but rose and bowed as he entered. The tall fair
-man, who had candid blue eyes and an insinuating smile, informed Hugh,
-in laboured but fairly correct English, that they had been recommended
-to consult him by the Spanish ambassador, whose son had been cured by
-him last season in so marvellous a manner.
-
-“But your highness is surely not Spanish?” asked Hugh, glancing at the
-card he still held between his fingers.
-
-“The prince,” said the fair man, bowing deferentially in the direction
-of the dark little gentleman, who was watching them while he nervously
-twisted his moustache, “is from Italy—is Italien. It is madame la
-princesse who is from the land of chivalry. It is for madame la
-princesse that we come to visit you.”
-
-Hugh bowed.
-
-“She is not very ill, I hope?” he said, awkwardly.
-
-He had had but little experience of the denizens of other countries, and
-this had been of their learned men, who have a family likeness no matter
-in what latitude they are born. These two _élégants_ embarrassed him.
-
-“How shall I explain?” said the fair man, knitting his brow and gazing
-at the skylight. “You speak French? No? My friend the prince speak
-French as Italien. I am sorry. But I tell you, monsieur le docteur, best
-way I can: you so clever, you understand me with all my faults. M. le
-prince here, he marry this lady, who is the daughter of the Duke de
-Saldanhés. You know his name, of course? He is great at the Court of
-Spain. You must surely hear that the princesse is one of the most
-beautiful ladies in all the world; for the papers _de Société_, as you
-call them, tell everyone that. The princesse adore M. le prince; he
-adore her. But soon after the _noces_ madame becomes more delicate, and
-she likes not to walk or drive; she shows no inclination for the world;
-she goes much to the church, and gets _pâle, maigre_. In the truth,
-monsieur le docteur, she shows symptoms of being, what you call, a
-_sainte_.”
-
-The fair man raised his eyebrows, and looked so oddly at Dr. Paull as he
-half-whispered the last sentence, that Hugh felt inclined to laugh.
-
-“I fear I cannot presume to cure a disposition to sanctity, sir,” he
-said. His voice sounded rough, in contra-distinction to the suave,
-delicately-pitched tones of his interlocutor. “I try to cure nervous
-diseases; I cannot cure a tendency which the most exacting husband can
-scarcely disapprove.”
-
-“Monsieur is Catholique?” insinuated the fair man, sweetly.
-
-“I—_what_? I beg your pardon, sir, but you took me by surprise,” added
-Hugh, his thin face flushing.
-
-Then he explained that if there were any symptoms of physical disease he
-would see the princesse with pleasure, but that he did not prescribe for
-the mind.
-
-The fair man, whose white satin manners and womanish grace were
-peculiarly repugnant to Hugh, rapidly translated Dr. Paull’s speech to
-the prince in Italian (a language with which Hugh had a slight
-acquaintance), and the prince made a voluble reply, which touched Hugh
-as being the earnest appeal of a man who was in considerable anxiety on
-the subject of his wife.
-
-“I have understood his highness,” he said, somewhat dryly, when the
-count (he had been addressed as such by the prince) turned towards him
-to interpret; “and I will willingly see the lady and prescribe for her
-if it be in my power to do her any good, which I doubt.”
-
-“Ah! sir; but we do not doubt it,” said the count with enthusiasm. “Nor
-did le Docteur Fosterre, who saw her it is two days ago, but whose
-medicine the princesse will not accept.”
-
-“Dr. Foster saw her?” asked Hugh, puzzled. (Dr. Foster was a
-nerve-doctor with a large fashionable practice, much in favour with lady
-patients.) “I fear if Dr. Foster has been unsuccessful, I can do
-nothing.”
-
-Further persuasions on the part of the count, who interpreted everything
-to his princely friend, led to Hugh’s provisional promise that after two
-days he would see the lady. He was to meet Dr. Foster in consultation on
-the morrow, and intended to talk with him on the subject. Then a
-difficulty was explained to him: the princess objected to doctors _in
-toto_. The meeting must be brought about by stratagem. The great Dr. B——
-S—— had fallen in with this arrangement, and had had a long interview
-with the princess one evening at the Italian Embassy in Paris without
-her realising that he was one of the obnoxious faculty until it was
-over.
-
-“But could _he_ do nothing?” asked Hugh, astonished.
-
-“Monsieur, he said the same as the Docteur Z. in Rome, and your Docteur
-Fosterre here in Londres. The princesse has a disease which is rare in
-one who has all the world at her charming feet. She likes not life, she
-longs for death, or, let us say, the heavens.”
-
-“Which, interpreted, means the lady is a spoilt creature, and is
-thoroughly discontented,” thought Hugh, with a smile of amusement, after
-his visitors had oppressed him with a profusion of thanks, had bowed
-themselves out, and driven off in the carriage. At first the interview
-amused him; but after the novelty had worn off, he felt a distaste for
-the task he had undertaken, neither an onerous nor an unpleasant one,
-the interviewing of a beautiful and evidently amiable Spanish lady. But
-Hugh disliked women as patients even more than he disliked them as
-companions. His liking for the sex lay buried in Lilia’s grave.
-
-After his consultation with Dr. Foster next day, he took him aside and
-told him of the prince’s visit and request.
-
-“I thought they would come to you,” said Dr. Foster, a short, stout
-little man, his eyes twinkling. “Curious fellow, that count, isn’t he? I
-can’t make him out. Means well, though, I daresay. A sort of cousin of
-the prince’s, I understand. You know all about the family, don’t you?
-No? Well, the Andriocchis are one of the most ancient Italian families.
-He came into everything a couple of years ago, at his father’s death. He
-is only six-and-twenty, though he looks older. I saw him here the first
-season. He got into a fast set, and did no good. Last year his family
-married him. Families in those countries always sort the young folks and
-couple them, you know. Wonderful match—a great beauty—daughter of one of
-those awfully blue-blooded Spanish grandees, Duke de Saldanhés, great
-favourite at Court. She’s a charming woman, but——” Dr. Foster shook his
-head, and looked whole volumes of wisdom.
-
-“But?” asked Hugh, suddenly interested and sorry. He did not know why.
-
-“Well, perhaps you’ll find out. She baffled me; that’s all I know. First
-I thought there might be a suicidal tendency, or simple melancholia.
-Soon gave up that idea—one of the keenest-witted women I ever met. She
-gives you one look out of those lamps of eyes of hers, and tots you up
-pretty correctly, I can tell you. No, no! She’s as sane as you or
-I—saner perhaps, if the truth were known! But there’s something wrong
-somewhere. Whether it’s fretting, or remorse—well, it’s no use
-speculating. My opinion is this—she’s wretchedly ill; and before she can
-get any better, the cause of it must be got at, and treated. Perhaps
-you’ll do it. B—— S—— seems to have failed, and I confess myself
-nowhere.”
-
-Dr. Paull felt less distaste for his task after this interview with his
-colleague: in fact, his professional interest was awakened; and when
-three, then four days passed without his being summoned by the prince,
-his surprise was flavoured with something akin to a feeling of
-disappointment.
-
-On the fifth day, when he was snatching a hasty breakfast, the prince’s
-brougham drove up to the door, and the count alighted alone, and sent in
-a message—might he see the doctor for one minute?
-
-“Show him in here,” said Hugh.
-
-Accordingly the count entered, apologising for his intrusion.
-
-“It was necessaire that I find you early, docteur,” he said. “An
-opportunity comes that you see madame la princesse to-night. She has
-consented to visit the Covent Theatre, to see the new opera.”
-
-“But, excuse me, I do not understand,” said Dr. Paull, somewhat dryly.
-“I do not go to theatres and operas. I have no time, still less should I
-go there to see patients.”
-
-The count explained, almost pathetically, that the prince had naturally
-feared that this was the case. “And, in anticipation of your refusal,
-monsieur, I just paid visit to the Lady Forwood, to ask her to join in
-our appeal.”
-
-He drew a note from his breast-pocket. It was from Lady Forwood, the
-wife of the popular baronet, Sir David Forwood, who had been Hugh’s
-friend for many years. Lady Forwood was the only woman, with the
-exception of his sisters, with whom Dr. Paull was at all familiar. She
-was not only a good woman, but was possessed of the feminine gift of
-tact in a marked degree.
-
- “My dear Doctor” (she wrote),—“I am quite thankful to hear you have
- consented to see my old friend Mercedes. As I know you always like to
- have a good look at your patients, I venture to propose that you
- should spare us half-an-hour, and come to our box at Covent Garden
- to-night. It is exactly opposite the Prince Andriocchi’s, and you will
- be able to judge of my poor friend all the better, because she will
- not know you are looking at her. Afterwards, we can introduce you to
- her.
-
- “Yours most truly,
- “MARGARET FORWOOD.
-
- “P. S.—The number of our box is 9. I will leave word at the door that
- you are coming.”
-
-Hugh wavered; but before he knew that he had consented to the fair
-letter-writer’s proposition, the count had left him, and he could hardly
-withdraw his half-reluctant consent.
-
-“I suppose I must go,” he told himself.
-
-He disliked the proceeding altogether. The sense that he was doing that
-which he reprehended in others, acting for the great of this world in a
-manner he would certainly not act for the lowly, oppressed him
-throughout the day.
-
-“It is a step in the wrong direction,” he told himself, as he stood
-before the glass, arranging that conventional white tie which he
-professed to disdain, with “the rest of men’s enforced toggery,” as he
-called the swallowtails and chimneypots, “but I have let myself in for
-it somehow, and must go through with it.”
-
-He would not have out his carriage; he took a hansom to the opera house.
-On entering, he stood amazed! There had been a drawing-room that day,
-and the ladies who were alighting from their carriages and sailing and
-sweeping through the entrance-hall and up the staircase were in all the
-bravery of silk, satin, and velvet, and literally ablaze with jewels.
-The heated air was scented with the perfumes they used, and with the
-odour of the Court bouquets they carried. The scene of excessive luxury
-was foreign to the severe simplicity of Dr. Paull’s hard-working life.
-
-“I suppose all this is good for trade,” he thought, as he made his way
-through the glittering throng to box 9, “but it seems a queer way for
-mortals to spend their time.”
-
-He was ushered into the box just as the final bars of the National
-Anthem were being played, for it was a semi-State performance in honour
-of a foreign potentate. Lady Forwood, a fair young dame with a bright
-face, was standing in front of the box. She turned to welcome him.
-
-“It is very good, indeed, of you to come,” she said, as she warmly shook
-hands. “Don’t say, No! David and I flatter ourselves we understand you
-pretty well. I know that nothing but a sense of duty brings you here.
-However, now that you _are_ here, you may as well have a good look at it
-all. Take that chair. David is at the House. He may look in, but not
-till late; there is some important debate on to-night. Now, tell me, it
-is a fine sight, isn’t it?”
-
-“It certainly is,” said Hugh.
-
-The orchestra had struck up the spirited introduction to the new opera,
-and the unaccustomed sounds of bright music insensibly raised his
-spirits. The _coup-d’œil_ of the gigantic horseshoe of tiers of
-crimson-curtained boxes filled with ladies in brilliant attire, white
-and the palest tints predominating, was magnificent.
-
-“I never imagined women could look so like flowers,” said he, honestly.
-
-“I thought you would think better of us when you knew a little more
-about us!” laughed Lady Forwood, who was scanning the house through her
-_lorgnettes_. “There! Mercedes has just come in! How lovely she looks!
-What a magnificent dress! I suppose she was at the drawing-room. I went
-last time, so I was not there to-day.”
-
-“Where?” said Hugh, drawing back a little, and feeling like a
-conspirator.
-
-“Not in the chandelier! and not exactly in the pit,” said Lady Forwood,
-laughingly. “Don’t be shocked at me! I positively can’t help teasing
-people. Look at the third from the royal box. There, she is just
-settling herself, and throwing off her mantilla—the lady in white.”
-
-Hugh was looking at the third box to the left of the royalties.
-
-“Take my glass,” said Lady Forwood, “and look at the third box to the
-right of the royal people. Make haste, for in another minute she may
-settle herself behind the curtain and stay there the whole evening. It
-would be just like her.”
-
-Hugh focussed the glass, and with a singular sensation that was almost a
-thrill, he gazed at a lovely girl who was leaning forward glancing round
-the house. She was pale with a waxen pallor; her black hair was dressed
-high, and studded with pearls. She wore a white velvet gown, a shade
-whiter than her beautifully moulded bust and arms, and this appeared to
-be sewn with pearls. So youthful was her slender form that, had Hugh not
-recognized the Prince Andriocchi and his friend the count hovering in
-the background, he would hardly have believed this could be the new
-patient about whom so much fuss had been made.
-
-“She is quite a girl!” he said, in surprise, turning to Lady Forwood.
-
-“Why not?” asked she. “She was only married a year ago. Spanish girls
-marry young.”
-
-“But, from what you said, I fancied you had been girl friends,” said
-Hugh, without thinking.
-
-“How like you, to say that!” said Lady Forwood, with a good-natured
-laugh, as Hugh, forgetting his dislike to the _rôle_ of “spy,”
-scrutinised her highness closely through the glasses. “That is almost on
-a par with your speech to the Princess M——, one of the stories she
-always tells to show what a bear you are, sir!”
-
-“I do not remember saying anything to the Princess M——,” said Hugh,
-laying down the lorgnette.
-
-“You don’t remember her playing to you, and your saying that you had
-never cared for any playing except that of a relation of yours?”
-
-“No,” said Hugh, who was beginning to think deeply on the subject of his
-new “case;” and his thoughts were curious, and to him utterly
-unexpected. “But what did I say to you that was bearish just now, Lady
-Forwood? I don’t care if her Royal Highness tells anecdotes about me or
-not—it amuses her, and doesn’t harm me. But I cannot be misunderstood by
-_you_.”
-
-“That pretty speech makes up for the rude one,” said Lady Forwood,
-smiling. “You seemed surprised that Mercedes and I were girl friends. Of
-course I am her senior by some years. I will tell you how it was. Her
-parents were anxious about her as a child, she was such a delicate, mopy
-little thing. So they sent her to a convent school at the seaside in
-England. I was what you might call a sixth-form girl when she came; and,
-as the nuns thought me steady-going, they gave her to me to look after
-specially. I was to be a sort of deputy-mamma; and she grew very fond of
-me, poor little thing!”
-
-“Why do you say ‘poor little thing’?” asked Hugh.
-
-“Oh, Mercedes has always been peculiar,” said Lady Forwood. “The nuns
-thought her cold and apathetic. I knew very differently! There is fire
-underneath that cold manner of hers—she is the most passionate girl, I
-think, I ever met! And her parents have been idiots enough to marry her
-to that man!”
-
-“You do not approve of the prince?” asked Hugh.
-
-“Hush! We really must not talk any more, people will notice us,” said
-Lady Forwood, directing her _lorgnettes_ towards the stage, where the
-prima-donna had just finished an air which was evidently greatly to the
-taste of the pit and gallery.
-
-Hugh leaned back and during the remainder of the first act watched the
-Princess Andriocchi as narrowly as he could without being specially
-noticed.
-
-She sat perfectly still at first, leaning back, her white profile
-cameo-like against the crimson curtain, her hands lying listlessly in
-her lap. She appeared to be watching the stage, but in reality her eyes
-were more than half veiled by their heavy lids. Through the glass he
-could see that her exquisite little ears were transparent as wax.
-
-“Poor child!” thought Hugh, compassionately. He thought he knew now why
-the great B—— S—— and the clever Dr. Foster could neither of them
-relieve the little princess of her _malaise_. The cause was mental.
-
-He had almost arrived at a resolution to “get out of the affair,” if he
-possibly could, when (to his absent mind, with a strange suddenness)
-down came the curtain upon the first act among the plaudits of the
-house, and people began to move and stand up; there was a general air of
-awakening to life of the attentive audience.
-
-“Well,” said Lady Forwood, turning to him, “you must confess it is a
-charming opera! The next thing to be done is to take me over to see
-Mercedes.”
-
-But this Hugh steadily refused to do.
-
-Lady Forwood was still endeavouring to persuade him by all the arguments
-at her command, when the box-door opened, and the count entered.
-
-He bowed profoundly to Lady Forwood, and offered his hand deferentially
-to Hugh, who scrutinised him with a new misgiving. Was this man who
-shadowed the young pair in any way connected with that young creature’s
-unhappiness? He was, certainly, the sort of man that some women would
-consider fascinating, with his persuasive manners and his fair, handsome
-face.
-
-He had brought a message to Lady Forwood: the princess wished to come
-round to her box—would it be convenient?
-
-Lady Forwood clapped her hands with evident delight.
-
-Hugh had not known her in this childlike, unaffected mood.
-
-“Convenient? Splendid!” she said to the count, who at once vanished.
-
-“_Could_ anything be better?” she asked Hugh. “You will see her just as
-she really is when she is talking to her ‘mammy,’ as she calls me. What
-is the matter?” she said, suddenly, in a changed voice, for she saw her
-pale friend wince and bite his lip.
-
-“Nothing, I assure you,” he said, earnestly, recovering himself. That
-word “mammy” had not been heard by him since Lilia had last addressed
-Mrs. Mervyn by the tender nickname in his presence.
-
-What seeming trifles are the feather-weights that balance human
-destinies! But for the effect produced upon Hugh by that one word, he
-would have made an excuse, and missed——
-
-What? As he stood hesitating, the box-door opened, and the princess came
-in.
-
-A girl, with the carriage of a young queen.
-
-Hugh stood back, and stared at the beautiful, dark young creature, in
-her magnificent robe of white velvet, embroidered with seed pearls, with
-but one feeling—amazement.
-
-The princess gave him a careless glance, with a half-nod, in return for
-his obeisance, as Lady Forwood introduced him, and seated herself by her
-friend.
-
-She murmured something in a low voice to Lady Forwood, upon which the
-English lady blushed and looked annoyed. After some whispering, Lady
-Forwood turned to Hugh with a beseeching look.
-
-“I am going to test your friendship to the utmost,” she said,
-pleadingly. “I am half afraid to ask you, but you will understand,” she
-added, meaningly. “I want you to go down and see if Sir David has
-arrived; there is nothing particular to hear for the next ten minutes.”
-
-“With pleasure,” said Hugh, understanding that the little princess had
-some secret to tell her friend, and that he was not wanted for the next
-quarter-of-an-hour.
-
-“A spoilt beauty,” he thought, as he strolled along the lobbies. “I
-should like to know how any physician can cure _that_, unless he
-inoculates her with the smallpox!”
-
-He had hardly left the box before the princess’ manner changed. She
-clasped her friend’s hand, and with her lovely face all quivering, the
-corners of her lips drooping, and her great eyes full of tears, she
-almost sobbed:
-
-“Oh, mammy, mammy! It is true!—it is _true_!”
-
-“My dear, what is true? You have been thinking such strange things!”
-said Lady Forwood, distressed and worried, for she loved the unhappy
-little creature. “You have got some silly notions into your head, and
-you imagine all sorts of nonsense.”
-
-“Listen!” said Mercedes, glancing round and speaking low. “To-day he
-told me that he and the count would go on the river. I had to go to the
-Court alone. Well, I thought I would ask the ambassadress to take me—it
-would be not so long—she has the entrée, as you call it. She did take
-me. Coming back, my carriage got into a number of other carriages, and I
-saw—_him_.”
-
-“The prince? Well, why not?” asked Lady Forwood.
-
-“I saw _him_—and _her_—the woman whose portrait I found!” said Mercedes,
-in a tone of anguish.
-
-“Well, my dear,”—Lady Forwood spoke in a matter-of-fact manner, although
-she was anathematising the prince for his flagrant conduct in being
-publicly seen with the beautiful French actress whose name had been
-coupled with his in society gossip—“I daresay he will be able to explain
-it all to you, if, indeed, you were not mistaken.”
-
-“How—_explain_?” asked Mercedes, bitterly. “How explain a _lie_, mammy?”
-
-“Hush!” said Lady Forwood, uneasily. “My dear, I never should have
-worried David if I had seen him with fifty women!”
-
-“That—is different!” said the princess. “Mammy, you love each other!”
-
-Lady Forwood began a brisk lecture:
-
-“My child, you are not fit to be out in the world at all,” she said.
-“You ought to have come to me for a year’s instruction before you were
-married, instead of going straight to the altar from the convent. You
-know absolutely nothing about men. Men’s ways are not women’s ways. The
-world allows them their liberty; and if their wives don’t allow it them
-also, they will neglect their wives for the world, and the wives will be
-to blame.”
-
-And she held forth on this somewhat loose doctrine so subtly that the
-princess’ expression gradually changed from grieved perplexity to a sort
-of placid resignation.
-
-“A man is not _bad_ who allows a lady acquaintance to take him some
-distance in her carriage,” went on Lady Forwood, didactically. “You will
-be wiser by-and-by, darling. You will take it for granted that men are
-better than they seem.”
-
-“The _count_ is good,” said Mercedes, sorrowfully. “He is so kind to
-me!”
-
-“The count is no better than his neighbours,” said Lady Forwood,
-sharply, feeling that from Scylla she was nearing Charybdis. “Mercedes,
-you must rouse yourself, and go into society. Then you will not brood on
-the subject of your husband. You can’t change him, at least, not all of
-a sudden, so you must put up with him.”
-
-“The count says——” began Mercedes.
-
-“Don’t talk about the count to me! You know my opinion of Italians, my
-dear. You shall be introduced to some Englishmen. You must know this
-friend of ours, that you made me turn out of the box just now. David
-says he is the best man he ever met.”
-
-At this moment Hugh knocked at the box-door. He had been outside in the
-cool night. He had not seen Sir David; he had not expected to do so. He
-had watched the arrival of some late comers, and, unnoticed by them, had
-seen the Prince Andriocchi and his friend the count come out of the
-opera house, light their cigarettes, and remain in close conversation
-for a few minutes, after which they interchanged a glance of
-intelligence; the prince hailed a hansom and drove off, and the count
-reentered the theatre.
-
-So he interpreted the steady gaze which Mercedes fixed upon him as he
-told Lady Forwood there was no sign of her husband’s arrival as a mute
-questioning as to the whereabouts of the prince, the count having
-established himself alone in the opposite box.
-
-And the next occurrence startled him. The curtain was rising; he was
-turning to take his seat at the back of the box, when the princess
-suddenly leant towards Lady Forwood:
-
-“Mammy, I have seen this—gentleman—before!” she said. “Where?” she
-added, turning to Hugh.
-
-He smiled, amused at the startled look in her gazelle eyes.
-
-“You have the advantage of me, princess,” he said. “I do not think I
-have had the honour of meeting you before to-night. And yet——”
-
-He was puzzled. Looking at her steadily, there was something in the
-wistful, childish beauty of Mercedes’ oval face which was familiar. She
-had some resemblance to someone he had seen somewhere. But, even as he
-ransacked his memory, the likeness eluded him, as a forgotten name will
-refuse to repeat itself when the thinker struggles to recall it.
-
-“You two had better talk over your previous acquaintance behind the
-curtain, I think,” said Lady Forwood.
-
-Hugh took the hint. He drew his chair nearer to the princess, and asked
-her where they possibly could have met, while Lady Forwood became
-absorbed in the performance.
-
-“You have been much in England; anyone can tell that who hears you
-speak,” he said. “But have you been in London?”
-
-“Never, till now,” said Mercedes, still scrutinising him with a feeling
-of uneasiness, for she felt that this worn-looking but attractive man,
-with the prematurely white hair, was no stranger to her, yet she could
-not recall how or when she had seen him. “I have lived seven—no, eight
-years in the convent at B——. That is where mammy and I were together”
-(with an affectionate look towards her friend); “but to London I
-came—not—once! When I returned to Spain, we went by Newhaven. This is
-the first time I see—London.”
-
-“Curious!” said Hugh, half to himself.
-
-The resemblance to someone he had known was stronger while she was
-speaking, and yet there was nothing definite about it. It stirred him
-strangely; but what the emotion was which disturbed him and quickened
-his ordinarily sluggish pulses, he could not tell.
-
-“Were you ever in Surrey?” he suggested, after a few minutes’ fruitless
-mental searching.
-
-“Never in any place here but the convent,” she said, decidedly. “But
-you, sir. Perhaps you were in B—— sometime?”
-
-“Never,” said Hugh.
-
-“Then you have, perhaps, been in my country—in Spain?”
-
-“Not yet,” said Hugh.
-
-They both smiled; and then, suddenly remembering that they were
-strangers, talked more reservedly of the music, which the princess
-appeared to know well.
-
-“I had the pianoforte score for a week,” she informed Dr. Paull. “The
-composer lent me his manuscript. I played it for him when he was in
-Madrid.”
-
-She was telling Hugh of what was to come during the ensuing acts, when
-the box-door opened, and the count came in.
-
-“The prince requested me to escort you home at the end of the act,
-madame la princesse,” he said in English, bowing very slightly to Dr.
-Paull.
-
-“But my husband? Where is he, monsieur?”
-
-The count shrugged his shoulders, with an appealing smile, to Lady
-Forwood.
-
-“He must go to the club for an hour, madame. When you arrive at the
-house, he will without doubt be there.”
-
-Mercedes sat silent till the close of the act, then she rose abruptly,
-held out her hand to Lady Forwood, said “Adieu, monsieur,” with a
-melancholy little smile, to Hugh, and left the box on the count’s arm.
-
-“Well?” said Lady Forwood, eagerly, when the two were alone.
-
-“Well?” he repeated, coolly.
-
-Some glamour, under the influence of which he had unbent—had forgotten
-his ordinary almost apathy to his surroundings—had passed away. He was
-on guard again.
-
-“Tell me frankly what you think of her. I love her so much!” said Lady
-Forwood, eagerly and honestly.
-
-“There is nothing the matter with her—physically,” said Hugh.
-
-“But—mentally?”
-
-“As I told her husband, I do not profess to cure the mind.”
-
-“Do you not see how miserable she is, Dr. Paull? We must do something
-for her,” said Lady Forwood, energetically. “You can, even more than I.
-She wants friends. She wants some powerful mind to control hers, and
-lead her to live her own life, without reference to the prince. That
-wretched young man! He neglects her shamefully; and how he can throw her
-with that count as he does—everyone is talking about it!”
-
-“My dear Lady Forwood, what can _I_ do?” asked Hugh, helplessly. Had she
-spoken to him thus before he had met Mercedes, he would have thought she
-was taking leave of her senses. Oddly enough, now, her appeal did not
-strike him as in any way peculiar. “I could see her professionally, and
-give her a few hints; but I could not talk to her openly, as you could,”
-he added, hesitatingly.
-
-“What I want is for her to take an interest in something, Dr. Paull. I
-don’t mean an ordinary interest—but something that will occupy her
-energies, will distract her from brooding over her wrongs. Oh, she is
-wronged, poor child! David thinks very badly of the prince. I would not
-believe anything so dreadful of a fellow-creature. Oh, dear me, here
-_is_ David!”
-
-A portly, pleasant-looking man, who seemed as if the world suited him,
-and he it, came in with a “Hulloa! You don’t look best pleased to see
-me, my dear! I don’t wonder. It isn’t often she gets you all to herself,
-is it, Paull? Well, we’ve won. Majority of seventeen for our motion.”
-
-Sir David talked away about the debate just over; and as soon as he
-could take leave, Hugh quitted the theatre.
-
-Walking through the streets, under the dark night sky, he seemed
-awakening from some vivid dream, in which he had behaved in a manner in
-which he would certainly not have behaved when awake.
-
-Letting himself in with his key, he rang for Jones.
-
-“You can go to bed. I shall sit up to do some work,” he said.
-
-“You will find the letters in the library, sir,” said Jones, with extra
-gravity.
-
-“Very well,” said Hugh. Then he flung himself into a chair, and began to
-think.
-
-“That girl and I have met before,” he mused. “But how?—when? When I
-looked into her eyes, I felt she understood me ... and—I understand her.
-What on earth induced Lady Forwood to ask me to look after her?”
-
-He almost laughed. Here, in the big, lonely house, which for years had
-been as a hermitage to him, the idea of his being asked to become mentor
-to a lovely Spanish princess seemed an absurdity.
-
-“Let me see what Grantley has to say about Spain and the Spaniards,” he
-said to himself, going to the book-shelves and taking down a volume.
-
-Captain Grantley was a patient of his, who had travelled in Spain, and
-recorded his experiences in print. For the next half-hour Hugh was
-reading about bullfights, romantic ruins seen by moonlight, mantillas,
-dark-eyed beauties, unpleasant railway journeys, and stuffy hostelries
-where the diet appeared to be garlic fried in oil. Nothing seemed to
-remind him of his princess; but he was still reading on, when a cab
-drove up, and there was a ring at the hall bell.
-
-“At this hour!” (It was nearly midnight.) He went into the hall,
-unbarred and opened the door:
-
-“Father?” His lanky son stepped joyfully in. “Why, you look surprised!
-Surely you got my letter?” he said, after depositing bags and hampers in
-the hall.
-
-“Your letter? No,” said Dr. Paull. Somehow, Ralph’s unexpected arrival
-was a slight shock to him. “I thought you were not coming back for a
-week yet,” he said, after they went into the dining-room.
-
-“We were away more than the fortnight, father,” said the pale lad, with
-a smile as sad as his dead young mother’s had been when her morbid
-sensitiveness was wounded. “But—you don’t look well! You have been
-worried into going to some dinner-party or another” (with a glance at
-his father’s evening dress). “I must not go away again! They will do for
-you among them!”
-
-“I’m not dead yet, you see,” said Hugh, feeling a new embarrassment.
-
-Until now there had been a confidence between him and the delicate lad,
-who looked at him with his lost Lilia’s eyes, which was more like the
-mutual understanding between attached brothers than that of father with
-son. For the first time Dr. Paull felt reluctant to speak of his doings
-to Ralph.
-
-“But you must want some supper,” he suggested. “I will call up one of
-the servants—”
-
-Ralph protested that he was not in the least hungry, and that he had had
-some sandwiches at Derby Station, which was literally true, although on
-his way from the terminus he had thought pleasantly of the snug supper
-with his father, which he fully expected was in store for him. His
-reception had effectually satisfied his youthful appetite.
-
-“By the way, Jones said something about letters in the library; just get
-them, will you? Perhaps yours may be among them. I have had an
-extra-busy day—was interrupted at breakfast—hadn’t time to open my
-letters,” said Hugh, uneasily.
-
-Ralph hastened to execute his father’s command, and returned with a
-bundle of letters in his hand.
-
-“Here is yours—unopened—as you see,” said Dr. Paull, showing Ralph his
-own letter, which he had neglected with the rest of his morning’s
-correspondence. “It was a fortunate thing I had not gone to bed.”
-
-Ralph looked astonished. His father, the acmé of punctiliousness in
-business, speaking so carelessly of a whole batch of unopened letters!
-What could it mean?
-
-“I have something to show you, father,” he said, gently. The poor boy
-thought that the fortnight’s loneliness had wrought this change in his
-beloved parent, whom he understood about as much as a beetle understands
-an eagle. And he fetched in two small packing-cases with
-lightly-fastened lids.
-
-“There,” he said, “are they not beautiful? I made the ivy one myself.”
-
-He opened the cases and removed some wadding. Dr. Paull stared with some
-perplexity at two wreaths—one of ivy, the other of white lilies. Then he
-bit his lip—he remembered! For the first time since Lilia’s death, he
-had not noted the approach of the anniversary of that terrible day when
-his son’s baby-hand had held him back from the one unforgivable
-sin—self-murder. On that day it had been his custom to take Lilia’s son
-to her grave, and talk to him of his mother: of what was best in her,
-that the memory of a mother should be even more to the boy than the
-influence of that mother, had she lived.
-
-This time—he had forgotten!
-
-“They are beautiful, Ralph,” he said, placing his hand affectionately on
-his boy’s shoulder. “Let us put them in a cool place, and go to bed. We
-must be up early to-morrow.”
-
-He had not counted these last days as days of the month. He had made
-careless engagements for Tuesdays or Wednesdays, or other days in the
-week; and to-morrow he had appointments with important patients, and a
-consultation.
-
-“It looks like decadence—strangely like decadence,” he told himself,
-bitterly, as, looking in the glass, he noted the deep lines on his face,
-the haggard look in his eyes. “I did not remember the twenty-first; and
-now I must cancel everything to-morrow—for the boy’s sake, I must be
-consistent—I must take him to his mother’s grave. But—to let everything
-go to the wall! Well, it must be done. But this shall be a lesson. No
-more fooling with princes and princesses—solid, sensible work.”
-
-A brave determination, Dr. Paull! But, when you made it, did Fate smile,
-or shed a tear?
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER X.
- A DISAPPOINTMENT.
-
-
-Dr. Paull and his son left Waterloo with their cases of flowers at an
-early hour next morning. Hugh was in a severe humour. Out of temper with
-himself, he was inclined to be out of temper with the rest of mankind.
-The first incident did not improve his humour. Like other travellers, he
-was in the habit of buying papers, to beguile the tedium of the railway
-journey. He had partially read his _Times_, when Ralph, who sat
-opposite, leant over, and, showing him an illustration in a well-known
-weekly, said:
-
-“Is it like her, father?”
-
-It was the portrait of the Princess Andriocchi, after a painting in the
-Paris _Salon_.
-
-For a moment he hardly realised the extraordinary fact that his boy
-should ask him such a question, then recovering himself:
-
-“Like whom?” he asked.
-
-“Like the princess. Jones told me you had a new patient—a princess—and
-showed me the prince’s card. Poor old fellow! He does think a lot of
-royalty, father.”
-
-“These people do not happen to be royal,” said Dr. Paull, as coldly as
-he ever spoke to his son. “But I am sorry that Jones is getting old and
-garrulous. I thought he would last my time out.”
-
-“He meant no harm——” began Ralph; but his father gave him a _Times_
-leader on the recent death of a celebrated geologist to read, and
-glanced at the memoir attached to the portrait.
-
-This, after stating that the Princess Andriocchi was the daughter of the
-Duke and Duchess of Saldanhés, who were high in favor at the Court of
-Spain, enlarged upon the sensation her beauty had created in Paris, how
-her carriage had been mobbed, how great portrait painters had made
-interest in influential quarters to have the privilege of taking her
-portrait, not knowing, until the picture by a celebrated Spanish artist
-was on the walls of the _Salon_, that they had been forestalled. After
-some further complimentary remarks, the article ended with the statement
-that although the princess was Spanish by birth, she had been educated
-in England.
-
-“And this is the fulsome adulation with which the world ruins its
-sweetest women!” thought Hugh, intensely disgusted and annoyed. “What
-can be done against that? How can anyone or anything make an honest,
-God-fearing woman out of the object of that sort of stuff?”
-
-He tried to occupy his mind with general subjects until they reached F——
-Station, where Mr. and Mrs. Mervyn met them, beaming with smiles.
-
-“Granny!”
-
-“My dearest boy!”
-
-Ralph was rapturously embraced by Mrs. Mervyn, who was stouter and
-greyer than twenty years before, while Mr. Mervyn, a handsome old man,
-with hair as white as Hugh’s prematurely blanched locks, shook hands
-with Dr. Paull, who this year had been absent from the Pinewood for six
-months.
-
-“You must be glad to get away for a peep at the dear old place,” said
-Mrs. Mervyn, warmly, as she sat opposite Hugh in the waggonette. “You
-will find the garden a little neglected, I fear. You see, the men have
-had no direct orders, and we did not like to interfere.”
-
-To Hugh, the peeps of the grounds through the clumps of pines as they
-drove along produced an effect of desolation. There was the still,
-overgrown, neglected look about the place which even the best kept
-estate will assume after the protracted absence of its owner. They were
-all to lunch together at the Pinewood. As they neared the house, Hugh’s
-spirits fell lower and lower.
-
-“It is like a big churchyard with one grave in it,” he thought. To him
-the house looked mausoleum-like. Its windows stared blankly at him like
-so many reproachful eyes.
-
-Within, he fancied there was a smell of damp. Mrs. Mervyn and the old
-housekeeper assured him, as they accompanied him through the unused
-rooms where the furniture was carefully shrouded in holland and the
-carpets rolled up, that during the wet weather there had been fires
-everywhere, and that at a couple of days’ notice the house would be
-ready for occupation.
-
-“You could invite any number of people, sir. I’d undertake to be ready
-for them,” said Mrs. Gray, who had been housemaid at the Pinewood when
-Sir Roderick was a young man. “The parties as old Mr. Pym had here
-during the shooting! And how they used to enjoy theirselves! I only wish
-as how those times would come again, sir. As I said before, I’d be ready
-for ’em, as long as you’d let me have two housemaids and a man as knew
-something of his business.”
-
-Hugh looked sharply at her—as if the tempter himself had spoken through
-her lips.
-
-“If I had people here—the whole place would have to be refurnished,” he
-said, turning to Mrs. Mervyn. “It all looks—so faded—so worn out.”
-
-Last night’s splendid scene was in his mind. Not for one moment had his
-memory failed to reproduce it. Even as he looked at the good old
-furniture—(they were standing in the drawing-room, he, Mrs. Mervyn, and
-the housekeeper)—he seemed to see the opera house as background to the
-central figure of the princess in her pearl-embroidered robe, wearing
-priceless gems on her fair neck and arms and in her black hair as
-carelessly as if they were glass.
-
-“I daresay it does all look poor after the houses you are accustomed to
-see,” said Mrs. Mervyn, indulgently. Good, untiringly faithful in
-well-doing as she was, her woman’s natural instincts remained; she daily
-witnessed by far too much squalor and poverty, and at the faint promise
-of something that would “brighten up the place,” as she termed it, she
-revived as an old war-horse pricks up his ears at the sound of the
-trumpet. “But, you know, all these things are solid and good, and at a
-comparatively small expense you could make the house look utterly
-different,” she added, persuasively.
-
-Then, while Mrs. Gray stood by, intensely interested, she unfolded the
-poor old chocolate-coloured draperies, and showing Hugh how threadbare
-and faded they were, suggested numberless little plans for beautifying
-the rooms at a comparatively trivial outlay.
-
-He listened with seeming interest. But he hardly heard what she was
-saying. He was building a castle in the air. He was reorganising the
-whole place on a far grander scale than would ever have occurred to Mrs.
-Mervyn’s frugal mind—he was preparing it for the entertainment of such
-guests as Sir David and Lady Forwood. (Sir David and Lady Forwood—his
-thoughts presumed no further. Hugh Paull, hitherto sincere, true to
-himself, had taken the first plunge into the bottomless waters of
-self-deception!)
-
-“It seems a shame that a house with such capacities should be allowed to
-be in this state, doesn’t it?” he said to Mrs. Mervyn.
-
-“It seems a shame so beautiful a place should ‘waste its sweetness on
-the desert air,’” she said, half-laughingly, half-earnestly. “But we
-know you will not leave it as it is,” she went on, in a low voice, to
-Hugh, as they followed the inwardly-elated housekeeper out of the room.
-“You see, Ralph is getting to be a young man, and should meet people. We
-have thought you would come to see this in its right light before very
-long.”
-
-As Mrs. Mervyn was saying these words, they were passing through the
-hall, and Mrs. Gray, in her exuberance of spirits at the prospect of
-liveliness to come, went up to the gong and sounded the summons to
-luncheon in quite a joyous fashion.
-
-Hugh, following Mrs. Mervyn into the dining-room, was struck by the bare
-and empty appearance of the room, but he was still more impressed by
-something else. This was Lilia’s portrait in pastel, which he had had
-painted by a celebrated French artist after her death, to be hung over
-the mantelshelf where Roderick Pym’s portrait in oils used to hang. This
-portrait, which had been somewhat of an abstraction, a study in grey and
-lilac, had lost whatever life the artist had put into it.
-
-“It might be a portrait of her ghost,” he thought, with an eerie
-feeling.
-
-In truth, as he sat at luncheon, and afterwards, when he and Ralph laid
-the wreaths on the grave, there was no longer that old sensation of her
-presence lingering about the place. It was all empty as a husk.
-
-“The old life has gone for ever,” he thought. To make the Pinewood
-bearable, he felt he must live a new life.
-
-They took tea at the Rectory with the Mervyns.
-
-As he was strolling in the garden with his hostess afterwards, he said
-to her, suddenly:
-
-“If I should invite people here later on, would you consent to be
-hostess for a time?”
-
-Mrs. Mervyn was slightly startled, but acquiesced. After the father and
-son had left, she broached the matter to her husband.
-
-“Do you think he means to marry again?” suggested Mr. Mervyn, who had
-noticed some change in Hugh.
-
-“Marry again!”
-
-Mrs. Mervyn’s indignation made her husband smile.
-
-“Well, we shall see,” he said. “My belief is, he will.”
-
-Arrived home, by far more cheerful than when he started, Hugh went at
-once to his library for letters. There were a few, manifestly business
-communications. He looked at these somewhat blankly, then rang the bell.
-
-“Are these all the letters?” he asked.
-
-“Yes, sir.”
-
-“Who called?”
-
-“No one, sir.”
-
-“You are _sure_?”
-
-He looked somewhat sternly at old Jones (the prattler).
-
-“I am positive certain, sir,” said the old domestic, aggrieved, casting
-a reproachful look at his master as he retired. Dr. Paull had never
-spoken so sharply to him before.
-
-“What a curious thing,” Hugh was telling himself. “Lady Forwood made all
-that fuss about my seeing the girl—and I am not sent for!”
-
-It was only twenty-four hours since he was sitting in the box talking to
-the princess, but this fact did not occur to him. So many thoughts had
-passed through his mind, he had made such startling resolutions during
-those twenty-four hours that they seemed a week.
-
-The next day passed, and the day after, in the usual routine. Rarely had
-that routine seemed so dull.
-
-“What is the matter with my father, do you think, Jones?” asked Ralph of
-his old crony, who had been his secret playfellow since he first spun
-tops and made kite-tails for him. “He seems so strange. Has he been ill,
-and kept it to himself?”
-
-“How can I tell, Master Ralph? How can the likes o’ me understand the
-likes o’ _him_?” answered Jones. In his heart of hearts, Jones feared
-that “much learning” was making his master certainly inclined to
-madness.
-
-A few days later came a note from Lady Forwood.
-
-“At last,” muttered Dr. Paull, who considered himself somewhat
-peculiarly treated by “a couple of women,” and attributed his irritable
-humour to annoyance thereat. But the letter merely asked him to dine
-to-morrow, and contained no mention of the princess.
-
-“But it is pretty certain she is to be there, or I should scarcely have
-been invited,” he thought.
-
-Apart from his profession, he thought very lightly of himself. Since
-Lilia died he had merged the man in the physician; if one had told him
-people liked or disliked him as the man, without reference to the
-professional healer, he would scarcely have believed it.
-
-He put the note into his breast-pocket—he was just going to deliver a
-lecture—said a few words to Ralph, and, stopping the carriage at a
-telegraph office, wired “With pleasure” to Lady Forwood.
-
-He lectured brilliantly that day. The students were astonished at the
-youthful enthusiasm of their ordinarily calm and logical professor.
-
-Returning, he found a letter from Mrs. Mervyn, who was anxious to keep
-him up to his new good resolutions. Mrs. Mervyn offered to come to town
-any day and “do his shopping for him.”
-
-He talked of his idea of embellishing the Pinewood to Ralph that
-evening.
-
-“You both, you and granny, have more artistic taste than I have,” he
-said to his son. “Suppose I were to give you _carte blanche_ to
-refurnish the house—both houses, this is a great deal too shabby—and I
-will not grumble at the bills?”
-
-Ralph acceded to his father’s suggestion joyfully, as he invariably did.
-But in private he wondered, and pondered. This man, all elation one day
-and moody abstraction the next, was not the father he had loved and
-revered. He was metamorphosed.
-
-Sir David Forwood lived in one of the fashionable squares. When Hugh’s
-carriage drove up, it had to wait—another equipage was “setting down” at
-the hall-door, where there was an awning.
-
-“A large party?” he asked the footman who took his hat.
-
-“My lady receives after dinner, this evening,” said the man.
-
-There were two or three ladies seated near Lady Forwood, and a few men
-were standing about in the big front drawing-room. One of these was the
-count, who bowed to him with what he considered an ironical smile.
-
-“I want you particularly to take in Lady Boisville,” Lady Forwood said
-to him after she had said a few nothings. “She is dying to talk to you.
-You know she is a bit blue—and she positively raves about your
-‘Commentaries on Psychological Facts.’ Did I pronounce that properly?
-Yes? For the first time, I assure you!”
-
-Then she introduced him to the lady in question.
-
-Lady Boisville was the wife of a millionaire who had been recently
-created a baron for some good reason best known to the title creators of
-the period. She was a stout lady in the sixties, who worshipped brains,
-as she said, and took a motherly interest in her juniors. She was fond
-of a little bit of gossip, and Hugh listened to her monologue half
-interested, half dreading that he might hear something—what, he hardly
-knew—that would unpleasantly affect him.
-
-“You know Count Tornelli?” she said to him, after she had chattered
-about most of the persons present not strictly within earshot. “The man
-who is always with the Prince Andriocchi? I am very much interested in
-him.”
-
-“Indeed?” remarked Hugh, coldly.
-
-“You speak as if—do you know anything about him that is not quite nice?”
-asked her ladyship, alarmed by his manner. “Because, if you do, you must
-tell me at once! That dark girl sitting by him is my niece, and we quite
-think that it will be a match—if everything should be suitable, of
-course.”
-
-Hugh felt quite sorry for having excited Lady Boisville’s suspicions. He
-became suddenly sympathetic in her regard, and thinking she was a good
-motherly soul, he assured her quite warmly that during his slight
-acquaintance with the count he had seen nothing at all at which she
-might take exception.
-
-“I hear that the prince is dreadfully _fast_” said she. “But that the
-count does his utmost to lead him away from his temptations.”
-
-“A sort of Mentor,” said Hugh, with a smile.
-
-He felt amused now, and discussed the advantages of the possible
-marriage with Lady Boisville with as much interest as if he had been a
-lady matchmaker.
-
-The dinner over, he established himself in a corner of the back
-drawing-room and watched the arrivals to the “At Home.”
-
-These were many; people he knew, people he did not know. Every gown as
-it flitted past the doorway set him on the alert—he felt that each dark
-head or pair of snowy shoulders might be hers.
-
-As the quarters were chimed by a clock on a cabinet near him, as ten
-o’clock came, then eleven—he began to feel a peculiar sensation of
-uneasiness. It annoyed him. What was there to be uneasy about? he asked
-himself. Was he uneasy because he was wasting his time? Had he thought
-he was there in the cause of science, to see a patient that had baffled
-greater nerve-doctors than himself? Yes, that was it. Men came up to him
-and talked, and he conversed with them, still watching the doorway. Then
-guests began to depart, and feeling as if he had been made a fool of, he
-sought out his hostess and somewhat reproachfully told her he must
-leave, now.
-
-“I am sorry I cannot wait any longer to see my _patient_,” he said with
-emphasis.
-
-“Your patient?” repeated Lady Forwood. “Oh, dear! You expected to meet
-Mercedes!” she said. “You thought I was arranging something like they
-did with the Paris doctor. No! I wanted you particularly to know Lady
-Boisville. Mercedes and her husband are with the Arrans in Wales. I had
-a more cheerful letter from her than I have had for a long time. Her
-husband seems to like Wales, and all is _couleur de rose_.”
-
-“I am happy to hear it,” said Hugh. Then he made his way out of the
-house and walked home, utterly disgusted with himself—ashamed of himself
-to himself for the first time in his life.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XI.
- MERCEDES.
-
-
-For the first time in his life Dr. Paull felt that he had considerably
-lost in his respect for himself, and he set himself to inquire into his
-mental and moral condition.
-
-“I have lowered myself in some way,” he thought. (He was thinking of
-self in a strictly professional sense, be it understood.) “It has been
-the doctor running after the patient, not the patient seeking the
-doctor. It must not occur again. I know I _meant_ well—but it must not
-occur again.”
-
-After this neat little compromise with his conscience, which perhaps was
-rusty for want of work and therefore not equal to the occasion, he as it
-were shook hands with himself, and set to work again, ignoring the
-question of unhappy young princesses with neglectful husbands and
-doubtful counts in dangerous proximity.
-
-It was the old life again. Patients at home in the morning, hospital
-work later, later still consultations or sudden calls. Then evenings
-spent quietly with Ralph, talking over his late tour with the geologist
-and helping him to arrange his specimens.
-
-The boy was never so happy as when his father was sharing his life,
-thus. But he loved him unselfishly, and the seed of doubt whether that
-father was as well or as happy as he should be was sown, and had already
-fructified.
-
-“Father,” he said suddenly, one evening, “why have you given up going
-out?”
-
-“My dear boy, I cannot give up what I never began,” said Dr. Paull,
-startled so that his pale face flushed.
-
-“You went to the opera and to parties,” persisted Ralph. “And you looked
-so jolly then. You don’t now. You are quite different.”
-
-“Don’t let us talk nonsense,” said Hugh, annoyed.
-
-Could it be true that he looked brighter after mixing with a crowd of
-silly people, who lived to waste time in amusing themselves?
-
-The very next morning he was down to breakfast somewhat earlier, to keep
-an appointment with a patient, when Ralph came in, all eagerness. A
-letter was in his hand.
-
-“From the princess, father,” he said. “A footman brought it, and is
-waiting for an answer.”
-
-“Well, let him wait,” said Hugh, once more flushing with annoyance. (Why
-his son’s _empressement?_)
-
-“He says one word will do,” said Ralph, pleadingly.
-
-“What is the matter with you?” asked his father, with an embarrassed
-laugh, taking up the dainty little note addressed to “Monsieur le
-Docteur Paull,” in a weak but pretty handwriting. “There,” he said,
-suddenly, by some curious impulse handing the open note to the lad. “I
-don’t know what to do. You shall decide.”
-
-The note contained but a few words:
-
- “Cher Monsieur,—I will ask you as a great kindness to me to give me
- your advice, when and how it pleases you. Receive my compliments.
-
- “MERCEDES (PRINCESS ANDRIOCCHI).”
-
-“Decide?” Ralph stared at his father.
-
-“Shall I go, or not?” said Hugh.
-
-“What else would you do, father?” said his son, astonished.
-
-He scarcely understood—he had never known his father refuse advice to a
-patient.
-
-“Look here,” said Dr. Paull, throwing himself back in his chair. “This
-is a fashionable, selfish woman, who has really nothing the matter with
-her. If I go, it is merely truckling to her position and wealth.”
-
-“Has she consulted you before, then?” said the boy, seriously.
-
-He was naturally serious, and in the most minor matters, which had any
-reference to his father, he was preternaturally so.
-
-“No, I have not seen her professionally, exactly,” admitted Hugh.
-
-“You once told me, father, that no man, however gifted in diagnosis,
-should pronounce upon a patient without making an—what was the word?—an
-exhaustive examination.”
-
-“Does that mean I ought to go?”
-
-“Why not?”
-
-Hugh looked into the earnest blue eyes which, despite the lad’s years,
-had still an almost infantine expression.
-
-“Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings one often hears the truth,” he
-thought.
-
-“I suppose I must go, then,” he said, “although it is most
-inconvenient,” and abruptly rising he went into the hall, spoke to the
-man, and returned pledged to see the princess.
-
-He was set down for a clinical lecture at noon. At eleven he started in
-his brougham and drove to one of the new roads in South Kensington where
-the Prince Andriocchi rented a furnished house for the season.
-
-An English groom of the chambers came forward as the door opened.
-
-The princess was at home.
-
-Hugh followed the man, who wore a dress something akin to ordinary levée
-costume, up the wide staircase, through the large, silent drawing-rooms
-which were furnished in the Parisian style rather than according to
-British taste, into a boudoir where he left him.
-
-It was a circular room lighted from above. The ceiling was a dome draped
-in a peculiar fashion with some soft white stuff in cloud-like puffings;
-the narrow windows were of pink glass. The carpet was rose-pink with a
-white flower pattern, the walls were lined with puffings of white and
-pale pink satin, while the furniture was of pink and white brocade and
-gilded wood. A few engravings of celebrated pictures stood about on
-easels; and everywhere, wherever he looked, Hugh saw the choicest
-flowers; cut flowers in bowls, plants in jardinières. It was a room
-which was unlike all other rooms he remembered, yet, as he looked
-around, it struck him that he had seen some room like it somewhere,
-once. When? How? In a dream?
-
-The sound of a door opening behind him made him turn round, and he saw
-the princess coming towards him through a conservatory which lay beyond
-a curtained arch opposite the door by which he had entered.
-
-She was dressed in some floating girlish dress of softly tinted stuffs:
-she seemed lost in thought—Hugh fancied she was unaware that he was
-there: she walked slowly and wearily, her eyes cast down—then paused to
-pick off a dying blossom as she passed between the banks of bloom.
-
-But—she knew! For as she came in she raised her eyes, and the colour
-rising to her pale cheek she said:
-
-“Ah, I knew you would come!”
-
-It was a strange thing to say; but it was said simply, earnestly,
-without the slightest tinge of vanity. As for coquetry, no man, looking
-at that sad, beautiful young face, would have been so lost to all sense
-of chivalry as to dream of the detestable quality in the presence of
-this gentle, modest woman.
-
-She did not offer Hugh her hand. She seated herself on a settee, and
-motioned him to occupy an easy-chair opposite.
-
-“My husband is away,” she said, in her foreign English, looking
-wistfully at Dr. Paull. “He sent to me the count late last night, to say
-it was impossible that he should return.”
-
-She was evidently watching for the effect of her communication. But Dr.
-Paull maintained his professional sphinx-like calm.
-
-“Indeed!” he said. “But you have friends staying with you? You are not
-alone?”
-
-“I am quite alone,” she said. “But I have always been alone, so that is
-nothing.”
-
-There was an awkward pause. Hugh hardly knew how to meet these naïve
-confidences.
-
-“You sent for me?” he began, suggestively.
-
-She looked at him with a peculiar, scrutinising glance for quite half a
-minute. Then she said:
-
-“Lady Forwood told me you are a _good_ man.”
-
-This was somewhat disconcerting.
-
-“Lady Forwood is a charming, kind woman,” he said, warmly; “and I am
-glad that you are such friends.”
-
-“She told me I should tell you everything!” said the girl, clasping her
-jewelled hands nervously.
-
-“Naturally, of course,” said Hugh, who had rapidly determined to treat
-the princess’ case, whatever it might prove to be, with bare
-matter-of-fact common sense: and, as in the case of hysterical subjects,
-to be unsympathetic—even, if necessary, rough. “A doctor should hear the
-whole truth, and nothing but the truth, from a patient. Otherwise, he is
-working in the dark, and might do more harm than good.”
-
-The princess was evidently in earnest about herself. She fixed her eyes
-intently upon Hugh as he was speaking, listened with all her ears, and
-when he had ended his somewhat didactic little speech, sighed a little
-sigh of relief.
-
-“It is a long story,” she began, apologetically.
-
-“We medical men are accustomed to long stories,” said Hugh, “especially
-from ladies.”
-
-“You do not like ladies?” said the princess, with a smile. (She seemed
-rather pleased than otherwise.) “I did not like the ladies of my country
-when I was a child. My mother and father were every day at the Court.
-Their own palace was a little Court. I was very unhappy. It was there I
-began to _dream_.”
-
-She hesitated and gave a nervous glance around before she said the word,
-which, indeed, she spoke with bated breath.
-
-“To dream?” said Dr. Paull, beginning to set down his new patient among
-the hysterical category. (When his hysterical patients could find
-nothing else to complain of, they invariably grumbled about their bad
-dreams, which were beyond anyone’s power to verify.) “Why, dreams are
-only imagination. Everyone has bad dreams. Dreams are nothing.”
-
-“Do you think so?” asked the girl, with intense anxiety, with a strained
-look in her big eyes. “Tell me that again! Tell me dreams are
-_nothing!_”
-
-“I do not exactly mean that they are _nothing_, that is merely an
-expression to be taken for what it is worth,” said he, impressed by her
-intensity. “But come, tell me all about these dreams; I am interested in
-dreams. I wish I could have met you when I was writing a little book
-about the brain. Your experiences might have been of great use to me.
-They still will be, if you will tell me all about them.”
-
-She knitted her brow, considered for some moments, then said, with
-evident effort:
-
-“Tell me, doctor, tell me truly. Do you think there could be two souls
-in one body, and one soul could be awake when the other was asleep?”
-
-“Is such a wild, horrible idea allowed by your Catholic religion?” asked
-Hugh, somewhat brusquely. “Do you know, princess, that allowing yourself
-to think of such things probably causes you these bad dreams?”
-
-She looked at him with a sad smile, and shook her head slowly.
-
-“Ah! you do not know!” she said. He had heard that plaintive tone of
-voice before from patients suffering acute anguish from deadly disease.
-“But you are right, monsieur le docteur, I am wrong to say such a thing.
-It is against my holy faith.”
-
-Her proud humility touched him.
-
-“And I was wrong to ask you such a question,” he said. Then he coaxed
-her to speak freely to him.
-
-“You dreamt these dreams as a child?” he began. “They ought to be
-forgotten—dead.”
-
-Then she told him simply, in her imperfect English, what her trouble
-really was. As a young child, she had been much like other children,
-without their life and cheerfulness when awake. But no sooner did she
-sleep than she felt herself surrounded by terrors, vague but horrible; a
-sense of impending doom seemed to suffocate her, yet some interior
-feeling made her believe that the doom was just. She heard weeping and
-lamenting among the dark shadows that surrounded her; and sometimes
-great eyes, with an expression of frantic appeal, appeared amid the
-gloom, and haunted her waking thoughts.
-
-“I did think the souls in Purgatory were near me,” she said. “I told the
-Reverend Mother of the Convent. We children could any of us go to her
-when we liked, just as to a real mother. Oh, much more! I could never
-have talked to my mother, the Marquesa, like that.”
-
-“And what did the Reverend Mother say?” asked Hugh, with a suggestion of
-sarcasm, for he had a good honest British distaste for the conventual
-system.
-
-“Oh! she laughed at me, and said little children had nothing to do with
-Purgatory; and she showed me a picture-book, _The Cats’ Tea Party_, and
-when a lay sister brought her some _bouillon_, I had some in a pretty
-cup.”
-
-“Altogether the bad dreams were rather a good thing than otherwise?”
-suggested Hugh, almost banteringly, thinking that at least that nun had
-some common sense, whatever dreamers the rest may have been.
-
-“I had holidays, and the doctor came, and I had more things to eat,”
-said Mercedes; “and everyone was so kind to me.”
-
-“Did not all that send away the bad dreams?” asked Hugh, still speaking
-lightly.
-
-“No,” she said, sadly. “Nothing has ever altered them. It is so—always.
-And I cannot care for my life!”
-
-She spoke with such despair that Hugh was touched. His determination to
-be harsh wavered, although he was unaware of the fact.
-
-“But, for instance, lately,” he said, thinking of Lady Forwood’s account
-of a cheery letter, “you have been away in the country, I understand.
-How did you sleep there?”
-
-“Not at all,” she said. “And it was beautiful! First came the quiet,
-dark night, with the scent of roses coming in with the cool air, and
-just a little rustle of the trees outside. Then a grey light, and the
-young birds twitting (is that the word?) little questions to their
-parents. Then the old birds began to sing sweet, happy songs, and the
-day came, first with blue light, then white, then pale rose. Then I got
-up, and from my window saw the rise of the glorious sun—ah! that waking
-is better than the sleep you doctors say is good. It is _not_ good, to
-be asleep!”
-
-Her eyes sparkled; her dejection had lifted.
-
-“I cannot agree with you,” said Hugh. “And sleep—good sleep, mind—you
-must have. But last night—here, in London,—you had no rest?”
-
-“I had my worst-of-all dream!” she said, bitterly. “It has come to me
-these last years: at first—years back—I waked up crying and miserable,
-but could not remember. Then I remembered something about _pistolets_. I
-do not know your English word.”
-
-“Pistols?” said Hugh. He never used the word, or thought of the weapon,
-without a shudder.
-
-“That is it,” she assented.
-
-“Were you ever frightened by firearms, do you think?” asked Dr. Paull,
-resolutely suppressing the commencement of the hopelessly wretched mood
-which inevitably succeeded any suggestion of that past terrible
-experience. “Sometimes a fright in infancy will reproduce unpleasant
-impressions.... Do you understand me?”
-
-“I never saw pistolets before that dream,” she said, slowly and
-solemnly. “I could swear it to you before the _bon Dieu_, monsieur!”
-
-“I quite believe you,” said Hugh, hurriedly. “There are strange
-incidents in the lives of young children, and they have curious
-ideas—science is yet in the dark about these things. But——” He paused
-and looked almost tenderly at the great, childish, anxious eyes raised
-to his. “I want to help you,” he said; “but, frankly, it is difficult.”
-
-Then he questioned her as to the drugs physicians had ordered her, and
-she brought him a pile of prescriptions which proved to him how futile
-the greatest scientists’ efforts had been to alleviate the torture
-suffered by this envied, but in reality most pitiable young creature.
-
-She looked so lovely, such a rare blossom of sweet womanhood; and,
-glancing at her amid her luxurious surroundings, anyone would have
-derided the idea of pitying her. But, as Hugh looked at her a strong
-belief arose in his mind that she was not, in some way, like other
-people; and that—how or why, he dared not imagine—some blight was upon
-that fair young head. Possibly some ante-natal occurrence, however
-remote, might have produced her morbid condition.
-
-As he sat looking at her, thinking deeply, casting about how he could
-help her, she was watching him hopefully. At their first meeting she had
-felt a calmed sensation, an access of strength, while talking to him,
-and since—even when merely remembering or speaking of him.
-
-“Well, monsieur?” she asked at last, with a smile.
-
-He sighed, almost impatiently.
-
-“You expect me to give you medicine?” he asked.
-
-“If you do, monsieur le docteur, I think I could not take it,” she said.
-“I have had so much _médécine_, and never, never did it take away one
-dream; no, not one!”
-
-“Then what am I to do for you?” asked Hugh, in his perplexed mood
-unaware how strange a question this was from an eminent physician to a
-patient.
-
-She looked at him earnestly, and leaning forward she said, slowly:
-
-“See me—every—day!”
-
-Hugh started. Then he laughed, then checked himself. Was she mad, or
-only eccentric?
-
-“Why?” he asked. “Why see you every day, especially as you tell me that
-if I prescribe for you, you will not take my medicine?”
-
-She opened her lips; evidently she would have told him—had not some
-secondary thought arisen to check her confidence, whatever it might be.
-
-“Will you see me every day for one week? then I will tell you,” she
-said, imploringly. “Lady Forwood said you would be my good friend. Be my
-good friend, monsieur, and do this!”
-
-It was an embarrassing position; and although Hugh was deeply moved by
-the girl’s pathetic tone of entreaty, by this almost desperate appeal to
-him—for that was really what it seemed to be,—he wondered what was
-behind this strange request. Was Mercedes in the power of one of those
-two men—the prince and the count,—and unconsciously aiding in some bet
-or frivolous conspiracy? Or was she herself whimsical and
-capricious—“hysterical”? No! Those last ideas were treason. Having
-harboured them for an instant brought back his instinctive faith in the
-simple young creature.
-
-“I would do what you ask, but really it is not possible, princess,” he
-said, gently, respectfully. Then he explained how his time was occupied,
-and gave her a list, jotted down hastily upon a leaf torn out of his
-pocket-book, of the engagements for the next few days, which could not
-be cancelled.
-
-She took the list and went over it carefully, in a practical manner,
-quite unlike that of a hysterical woman.
-
-“I see,” she said. “But, monsieur, the evenings? There is nothing for
-the evenings.”
-
-Hugh told her that his evenings were sacred to his son.
-
-“I am all that he has,” he said, “both mother and father. His mother
-died when he was born.”
-
-She asked his age, and Hugh told her.
-
-“Nineteen!” she said, with a little laugh of surprise. “How funny! That
-is my age. But your son, when is he nineteen? You say, a few days ago?
-Why, he is older than I am, monsieur? You could be my father.”
-
-“Certainly,” said Hugh, relieved, somehow, of part of the uneasy
-sensation excited by the situation by this suggestion. “But I confess I
-thought you older.”
-
-“I was eighteen last March,” she said, gravely. “And my friend, Lady
-Forwood, was twenty-four.”
-
-Eighteen—and a wife! Hugh looked pityingly at her. It seemed to him that
-parents who could wed a child of seventeen to a young _roué_ of
-twenty-six were almost criminal in their rashness—or worse than
-rashness.
-
-“But, your son, he would like to go out?” said the princess. “Monsieur,
-you and he, can you not come sometimes to Lady Forwood—to Lady
-Boisville? Then I could see you.”
-
-“Impossible,” said Hugh, suddenly rising. This curious interview had
-lasted long enough.
-
-“You will _not_?”
-
-She sat back on the settee, and to his astonishment, a deathlike pallor
-spread over her face. A shrunken look aged her sweet youthful features,
-her eyes seemed to harden and recede beneath her dark eyebrows. His
-conscience smote him.
-
-“I will try and see you again soon,” he said, lamely.
-
-She raised her eyes languidly. He could not bear to see such abject
-misery on so young a face.... Young? This girl was younger than Ralph,
-more than young enough to be his own child. And so alone—and he could
-help her; he saw, he felt that there was some strong bond of sympathy
-between them.
-
-Without further thought, he almost flung himself down upon the settee at
-her side.
-
-“Suppose I were to see you every day for five days,” he said, with an
-affectation of amusement, “what good would that do you?”
-
-“You shall see,” she said, reviving somewhat; “I promise you, you shall
-be astonished.”
-
-“Pleasantly astonished?” he asked. He determined to treat her in a
-fatherly, indulgent way, as a spoilt child.
-
-“You will see,” she said, nodding her head. “But,”—she seized his hand
-in hers in a familiar, innocent way which took his breath away for the
-moment—“you _promise_?”
-
-“Promise! What?” he asked, uneasily. Something in the clinging touch of
-those slender fingers moved him deeply, recalled—what? Sensations long
-passed and gone, almost forgotten; sensations that stirred his heart to
-feel the pain of loss.
-
-“Promise to accept the invitations you will receive this week,” she
-said.
-
-“But where?” he asked.
-
-“Here, to Lady Forwood, to Lady Boisville,” she said.
-
-“Nowhere else?” he asked, gazing wonderingly into her upturned eyes. Had
-there ever been such beautiful dark eyes in this world before? He
-believed not. In any case, if such existed, he had never seen them.
-
-“Nowhere else,” she said, earnestly.
-
-“I do not quite understand, but I promise,” he said, rising. “And now
-_au revoir_, princess.”
-
-He bowed low, and hurried away without looking back. He felt shamefaced
-and guilty: running downstairs more actively than he had run for years
-past, he came full tilt against the count, who was standing at the foot
-of the staircase.
-
-Bows, apologies. Then the count asked tenderly about the princess.
-
-“We may hope, now that you have seen her, that our beautiful lady will
-be better, docteur,” he said, obsequiously. “But how, how do you find
-her?”
-
-“There is nothing much the matter,” said Hugh, dryly. Then, wondering
-where the prince was, and how he could “let that fellow come hanging
-about at all hours,” he hurried out to his carriage.
-
-“Where to, sir?” asked the coachman, leaning over as he came up.
-
-“Where to? The hospital, of course,” said Hugh, getting into his
-brougham and pulling the door to. What did Fuller, his coachman, mean?
-He knew his hours well enough. And what was the matter? He was tapping
-at the glass. Hugh let down a front window, impatiently.
-
-“Did you say to the hospital, sir?”
-
-“Of course!” shouted Hugh.
-
-“It’s half-past twelve, sir,” said the coachman, reproachfully. Had he
-not sat on his box wondering what had become of his master for five
-mortal quarters-of-an hour?
-
-“Half-past eleven, you mean!” said Dr. Paull, sternly.
-
-For reply, Fuller pulled out a turnip silver watch.
-
-“It don’t never vary a second, sir, _it_ don’t,” he said, conclusively.
-
-A glance at his own watch, and Hugh, saying, “You’re right, _home_,”
-drew up the window, and threw himself back in consternation.
-
-“Am I mad, or dreaming?” he asked himself. He had missed a lecture for
-the first time since his appointment ten years ago!
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XII.
- “’TWIXT THE CUP AND THE LIP.”
-
-
-“Incredible! Preposterous!”
-
-That was Dr. Paull’s mental attitude: he could not understand how that
-hour, or more, had slipped away in the princess’ boudoir.
-
-His annoyance, and his difficulty in accounting for his absence from his
-post, made him half-forgetful of the princess’ expressed determination
-to see him every day. Next morning, when Sir David Forwood was
-announced, he had no idea of his old friend’s errand.
-
-“No one ill, I hope?” he said, with concern; he left his consulting-room
-to join his visitor in the dingy old drawing-room, a melancholy
-apartment. He was fond of the Forwood children, one or two of whom were
-weakly.
-
-“No,” said Sir David, who looked as he felt, uncomfortable. “Really I am
-ashamed to come on such an errand to a man like you, Paull. But you must
-blame my wife and Lady Boisville, rather than myself. Lady Boisville
-gives a concert to-night in honour of the young French prince, and she
-has set her heart on your being there. She actually came herself about
-it, and the two ladies packed me off to secure you. I am afraid you will
-have to come, Paull, or I shall never be forgiven.”
-
-Dr. Paull smiled. He remembered. His new patient evidently understood
-how to carry out her whims.
-
-“I am pledged to go, or I certainly would not. These things are not at
-all in my line,” he said.
-
-“Pledged to go?” Sir David looked astonished. “Lady Boisville must have
-been mistaken, then. She said it was an afterthought of hers, and was so
-afraid you would be offended at being asked so late in the day.”
-
-“I knew nothing of the entertainment; still, I am pledged to go,” said
-Hugh, amused at Sir David’s innocence. “I will be there.”
-
-Then Sir David departed, perplexed, as he would not have been had his
-wife been a society _intrigante_.
-
-Going into the dining-room to luncheon, Hugh was startled to see Mrs.
-Mervyn, without her bonnet and shawl.
-
-“Good heavens!” he said, startled. What brings _you_ to town?”
-
-“You, of course,” said Mrs. Mervyn, amused. “How do you think the
-Pinewood is to be restored, and all that, without some one working
-pretty hard? Ralph and I have our work cut out for us this next week, I
-can tell you. Ralph arranged for my staying here. I won’t be in your
-way, I promise you.”
-
-“As if that were possible,” said Hugh, affectionately. He was always
-glad to see poor Lilia’s “mammy.” Her round placid face and kind eyes
-were dear to him. But as he presided at the luncheon table, and talked
-to her and to Ralph, who appeared in the seventh heaven with delight and
-importance, he hardly knew what they said, or how he answered them,
-except that the words carpets, curtains, furniture, were frequently
-repeated. He was wondering how he should explain his absence that
-evening to “mammy,” who regarded him as an incorrigible recluse.
-
-“I fear I must seem rude, and leave you to-night for an hour or two,” he
-said, as they rose from table.
-
-“Patients make doctors’ laws,” said Mrs. Mervyn, sagely. “I know
-_that_.”
-
-“But this is a private concert at Lady Boisville’s,” said Hugh,
-uneasily. “Nothing to do with business. In an evil hour I promised to
-go.”
-
-“My dear, I am so glad that you are coming out of your shell,” said Mrs.
-Mervyn, warmly. “And that reminds me. When am I to be ready to play
-hostess at the Pinewood? It is necessary that I should know, to have
-everything in order.”
-
-Hugh looked at her in consternation. He had forgotten his wild, fleeting
-ideas that day at the Pinewood. Evidently Mrs. Mervyn had not.
-
-“Oh! I have not thought any more about that,” he said.
-
-“Then I am glad I have reminded you,” said “mammy.” “And really you men
-of science are so unpractical in ordinary life, that the best thing one
-can do with you, I think, is to help you a bit. I suppose you mean to
-ask your friends for the partridge shooting? There are plenty of birds
-about; and old Cæsar has been taking pains with them since he knew for
-certain you were coming down.”
-
-Before they parted, Hugh was aware that this was before him: he was to
-entertain the princess at the Pinewood. It was his own fault. When he
-had persuaded himself that day in the country that he was planning to
-entertain Sir David Forwood and his wife, he was deceiving himself.
-
-“I wanted _her_ there,” he told himself, in consternation. “What
-influence has that girl over me, and how in Heaven’s name did she get
-it?”
-
-He felt like some ponderous fly may feel entangled in the fine web of a
-seemingly insignificant spider. That delicate creature! How came it that
-he, a strong man, was subject to her will, or rather, her caprice?
-
-“It must not be,” he told himself, sternly; “although, of course, I must
-fulfil my promise. I must see her, when and how she plans for these few
-days. But after that, _no more_.”
-
-His determination seemed to him so strong, that he grew quite cheerful,
-and after a pleasant chat with Mrs. Mervyn during and after dinner, he
-sent her to the opera with Ralph and dressed for Lady Boisville’s
-concert quite as if these new doings had been his rule of life.
-
-Lady Boisville’s house was well known. Its tapestries, picture-gallery,
-and new French ball-room were much talked of in society. When Dr. Paull
-arrived, the picture-gallery was already nearly filled by a brilliant
-crowd who were seated or standing about in groups, awaiting the young
-French prince. Hugh took up his position in the background. He had been
-forced into this gathering, he determined to remain a spectator of the
-interesting living picture as much as possible. At first it seemed as if
-his intention would be fulfilled. The concert began. Celebrated Italian
-singers warbled delicious music. The ladies smiled and fluttered their
-fans. The men conversed in snatches between the pieces, while the
-Boisville ancestors frowned darkly or smiled blankly from among the
-celebrated black canvases of the old Dutch painters or the gay
-Canalettis for which the Boisville collection was famous. One or two men
-he knew, the most celebrated portrait painter of the day, two of the
-foremost members of the Cabinet, and the physician dearest to reigning
-royalty, came up and talked with him. All seemed surprised to see him.
-One of the statesmen, a man of constitutional vigour and renowned for
-his honest joviality, told him he was taking a step in the right
-direction.
-
-“You preach at your patients not to shut themselves up,” he said. “But
-hitherto you have not followed your own prescription.”
-
-Just after that the portrait painter came up to him.
-
-“I have just seen the loveliest woman in the world,” he said,
-enthusiastically; “and Lady Boisville tells me you are her doctor. Lucky
-fellow!”
-
-And forthwith he questioned Hugh with what Dr. Paull considered
-execrable taste, until at last he made some excuse and came out of his
-corner to avoid the man.
-
-Then he saw Mercedes, an exquisite picture in some silvery gossamer
-stuff, with pearls round her girlish throat and a long trail of lilies
-from her beautiful shoulder to the hem of her dress. Her large eyes were
-travelling restlessly from face to face, her lips were apart, she was
-nervously playing with her fan, yet the French prince was talking to
-her, and in the knot of people around them were some of the celebrities
-of the day. Their eyes met, her face lit up with pleasure, his heart
-seemed to swell with some emotion. He was touched, yet was angry with
-himself for being so.
-
-“I suppose I must speak to her,” he told himself; “but that must
-suffice. After that, I go home.”
-
-He waited until the French prince moved away, then went up to her and
-asked her how she was.
-
-“Very well, _now_,” she said. “Not before, for you had not come.”
-
-“I have been here all the evening,” said Hugh, as coolly as he could,
-for her sweet face lifted to his actually stirred his steady pulses, and
-he rebelled against these new, involuntary sensations. “I must go, now.
-Good-bye! I am glad you are looking so well.”
-
-“You will stay? Just a little while?” she pleaded.
-
-“I am sorry that I cannot possibly do so,” he said. “My time is not my
-own.”
-
-Her blank look of disappointment startled him. What was this violent
-fancy of hers for him? Was he wise, was he, indeed, doing right to
-encourage it? He began to fear that he had taken some dangerous step on
-that flowery way to destruction that he had hitherto succeeded in
-avoiding.
-
-Still, as he argued to himself walking home under the calm night sky,
-why should he think there was anything approaching to danger in the
-kindly feeling this young, beautiful creature entertained for him?
-
-“I am absurdly vain to think of such a thing,” he told himself with a
-scornful laugh. “I, more than middle-aged, white-haired, awkward, stupid
-in women’s society, she can only feel a mixture of pity and confidence.
-How absurd it is of me to make a mountain out of a molehill!”
-
-He went to bed with a heavy heart, accusing himself of ingratitude to
-the princess.
-
-“I ought to feel flattered at it all, I suppose,” he said when he awoke,
-his spirits oppressed with the feeling of something going wrong in his
-life. Instead of this, he felt utterly wretched.
-
-Had he expected to hear from Mercedes? He did not know. He only knew
-that he turned over his letters with a sense of disappointment, and
-although he talked with Mrs. Mervyn about the opera, and listened to her
-and to Ralph’s hints of some pleasant surprise in store for him in the
-arrangements at the Pinewood, he could not have given an account of the
-conversation afterwards had his life depended upon it. He had hard work
-to concentrate his energies upon his work that day. When he returned
-home he found a letter—a letter with the Andriocchi arms on the flap of
-the envelope, with his name in that graceful, sloping writing.
-
-It lay among many others on his library table. If he had really doubted
-the girl’s power over his emotions, the eagerness with which he pounced
-upon it would have told him the truth.
-
-Before he read it he locked the door. Another desperate symptom, had he
-been reflecting on his own case. But he was not. He had but one feeling,
-intense relief. He had been fearing he had offended her, and he had not
-done so.
-
-He opened the envelope. The enclosed sheet of notepaper contained but a
-few words:
-
- “I release you from your promise. Farewell.
-
- “MERCEDES.”
-
-The date; her address; those few words. No more.
-
-In his present frame of mind, it was a shock. At first he paced the
-room, his old habit when perturbed. Then after gloomy self-chidings,
-during which he thought of himself as an inhuman bear who had trampled
-on the generous nature of one of the sweetest women God had ever
-created—he stopped short, consoled by a new thought.
-
-“What did I do, or say?” he asked himself. “I only made excuses to get
-away from a fashionable entertainment. I did not slight _her_
-personally. She is a child! She has jumped to some conclusion or
-another—I must write at once and disabuse her of it, whatever it is.”
-
-He sat down, and wrote:—
-
- “Dear Princess,—It grieves me to find that you have lost confidence in
- me as your medical adviser, because I have given much consideration to
- your case. Allow me to assure you that if you permit me a further
- trial, you will be satisfied with the result. At the same time, if you
- conclude that you are better without my advice, I sincerely hope you
- will allow me to talk over your next medical adviser with you, as the
- selection is a matter of importance to your health.
-
- “I am, faithfully yours,
- “HUGH PAULL.”
-
-“Whether this is too warm, or too cold—whatever it is, _it shall go_,”
-he said to himself decidedly, as he rang the bell.
-
-“When did this letter come?” he asked of Jones, who came in response to
-his summons.
-
-“That, sir? Oh, the princess! The fair, foreign gentleman brought it. He
-wanted to see you, sir. He came about two.”
-
-“_Which_ gentleman?” asked Hugh—nettled to find that the letter had been
-recognised.
-
-“The count, sir; not the prince.”
-
-“Send this by a hansom at once,” he directed. “And send round to the
-stables. I want the brougham directly after dinner.”
-
-He had given this order, spurred by a feeling he had not hitherto known:
-he wished to conceal his movements from his own servants. Hitherto, they
-might have known all that he did, and spoke, and thought, for all he
-cared.
-
-Now, the idea of his patient the princess being commented upon by any
-one of his household, even by Ralph, was unbearable to him. He had
-ordered his carriage to elude remark. No sooner had he done so, than he
-wondered what he should do with it—where he should go.
-
-“I will take mammy to the theatre,” he suddenly thought.
-
-Upstairs he bounded—she was not in the drawing-room. Once more he rushed
-up the stairs three steps at a time and bounced up against Mrs. Mervyn.
-
-“My dear boy!” Mrs. Mervyn was astonished, but not disconcerted.
-
-It did her good to see the long disconsolate widower “alive again,” as
-she said afterwards to her husband.
-
-“I came to see if you would come to the theatre, to-night,” he said, in
-a low voice. “Don’t say anything before the servants—but after dinner,
-we three can just go and see anything good that you would care to see.”
-
-Mrs. Mervyn was enchanted.
-
-“All the same, I would just as soon spend a quiet evening with you and
-Ralph,” she said. “You must not fatigue yourself on my account, dear.”
-
-“Don’t be alarmed! I am purely selfish!” he said, going off disgusted
-with himself.
-
-What had happened to him? He was unstrung—his emotions were in revolt.
-He felt as if he could not sit quietly at home that evening, waiting for
-a reply to his note. He must have change of scene, excitement, to
-balance him. If mammy could only know! Poor “mammy!”
-
-Perhaps “mammy” knew more than he thought. Mrs. Mervyn, finding him
-changed, had certainly been on the watch these days. She had discovered
-no clue to the feminine influence which, woman-like, she believed to be
-the root of Dr. Paull’s alternate high spirits and absence of
-mind—still, she believed that the feminine influence was _there_, and
-that in time she would “know everything.”
-
-Poor “mammy!”
-
-Meanwhile, she enjoyed herself that evening, as she, Dr. Paull, and
-Ralph sat together in a box to see a new piece, a serious comedy with
-both humorous and pathetic interest which was having a steady “run” at
-one of the principal theatres. Hugh exerted himself to be amusing, or,
-at least, to pay the undivided attention to Lilia’s dearest friend which
-he considered her due; and Mrs. Mervyn thought, more than once during
-the performance, “If there really _is_ some love affair, it is going on
-favorably.”
-
-So hoped Hugh. At least, so he hoped of this new acquaintance which he
-mentally designated his and Mercedes’ “friendship.” He believed his
-letter had “made it all right” between him and his offended patient.
-
-But the next day passed, and the day after that, and no answer came.
-
-Then Mrs. Mervyn departed, with the promise that he would send her full
-particulars of his house party at the Pinewood next month. She assured
-him at parting that everything would be ready for next month in a few
-days.
-
-Good soul!—she journeyed home somewhat heavy-hearted on the subject of
-Hugh, of whom she was genuinely fond. When he returned from the
-bookstall with the newspapers he had bought to beguile her homeward
-journey, she noticed that he was deadly pale and looked very ill.
-
-“He has been overfatiguing himself for me,” she dismally thought as the
-fields and hedges seemed to fly by the compartment in which she sat
-alone. “Poor, dear boy! I have been very thoughtless.”
-
-She might have spared herself her misgivings. The cause of Dr. Paull’s
-pallor was a short paragraph in a society column his eyes rested upon as
-he brought her the papers:
-
-“The Prince and Princess Andriocchi, who have been making a brief stay
-in the Metropolis, intend to take their departure for Madrid to-day. For
-the future they will reside in the well-known palace of the Duke and
-Duchess of Saldanhés, the parents of the princess, where an extensive
-suite of apartments has been magnificently re-decorated for their
-reception. One of the objects of the Prince Andriocchi’s recent visit to
-the Palazzo Andriocchi, in Florence, is said to have been the
-organisation for the removal of the most celebrated among the many
-renowned works of art accumulated by his ancestors to his new abode in
-the Spanish capital.”
-
-So Mercedes had left him—without one word!
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIII.
- HER DREAM.
-
-
-He left the station as in a trance. He felt nothing but that something
-had happened to him that had mortally wounded him.
-
-Mechanically, he got rid of Ralph’s companionship by leaving him at the
-scientist’s house. Then he gave the order “Home.”
-
-He was going up the steps of his house when the door opened, and the
-count came out.
-
-“Ah!” The count’s exclamation was one of satisfaction.
-
-“But I am glad to find you, monsieur le docteur! The prince is terribly
-anxious about madame! She is very ill. You will come to her at once?”
-
-The revulsion of feeling was acute. The blood rushed to Dr. Paull’s
-cheek. He turned abruptly from the count, and opened the street door
-with his key.
-
-“Will you come in?” he said coldly.
-
-At that moment some instinct suggested aversion to this man. He had met
-those seraphic blue eyes fixed upon him with a mocking expression that
-was anything but seraphic, and in his present humour he would have
-doubted anyone.
-
-“I understood that the prince had left town,” he said, after he had led
-the way into the library and closed the door. “Was it he who sent you,
-or the princess?”
-
-The count explained that the princess was too ill to give directions,
-and was proceeding to make further explanations when Hugh cut him short,
-and explained that the princess having dismissed him, he could attend at
-her summons alone.
-
-He was desperately angry—was it with Mercedes, or with himself? This
-anger nerved him to write the names and addresses of certain physicians
-and to hand them to the count.
-
-“Any of these gentlemen will attend at the prince’s request,” he said.
-“Under the circumstances, you will quite understand that it is
-impossible for me to do so except at the princess’ special desire.”
-
-The count was compelled to retreat. He was surprised. Perhaps he had
-expected that Hugh had only to hear that he was wanted by his beautiful
-patient to fly to her.
-
-During that short interview Hugh felt triumphant. No sooner was he alone
-than the agreeable sense of self-vindication fled. He began to doubt
-whether he had acted rightly.
-
-“I have been selfish—hard,” he told himself. “I ought to have remembered
-what a child she is—and so tender and sensitive—and so utterly
-friendless, with that man for a husband, and that fellow for a
-go-between!”
-
-However, he had no time for further self-reproach. Patients arrived and
-had to be interviewed. Later in the day he had to visit a hospital, and
-in the evening Ralph was full of his day’s work. He had written a
-chapter at the professor’s dictation which had opened out a new vista of
-science to him. As the boy sat eagerly expatiating upon his day’s
-experiences, his flushed cheek and glistening eyes made him strangely
-like his dead mother. As Dr. Paull noticed the likeness he shuddered. As
-soon as he could, he made an excuse to be alone.
-
-“I have work to do—can you amuse yourself without me?” he said.
-
-Ralph’s affectionate glance recalled Lilia still more. Was it his fancy
-that to-night, of all nights, the lad bore a startling resemblance to
-his mother that Hugh had not observed before?
-
-“It is not,” he thought, as he lowered the lamp in the library, and
-opening the window, drew an easy-chair near it and lighting his pipe,
-settled himself to think. “He is growing like her.”
-
-It was a dark night—moonless, but clear. The stars were brilliant.
-Obscurity lent a charm to the blackened shrubs in the so-called gardens
-at the back of the house. The forms of the opposite houses were vaguely
-defined against the ebon blue. Hugh tried to recall nights such as this,
-when he and his wife strolled into the pinewoods, and Lilia talked love
-to him as she leant upon his arm. He tried to recall the tones of her
-voice, but could not. He tried to remember the expression of her eyes,
-but, to his horror—for to-day he would have sacrificed much for a keen
-recollection of the past—when he thought of Lilia’s face, he seemed to
-see the pathetic beauty of Mercedes; when he thought of Lilia’s voice,
-he seemed to hear Mercedes when she last spoke to him.
-
-“I am a fickle wretch!” he told himself, bitterly. “I have forgotten the
-child who loved me better than she loved her God!”
-
-He was attempting to do what he had never since dared to attempt—to
-recall in all its torturing details the closing rebellious scene of
-Lilia’s short life—when he heard a tap at the door, and “May I come in?”
-in Ralph’s familiar tones.
-
-He laid down his pipe with a sigh, and went to the door. He would send
-Ralph away—he was not in a humour to talk.
-
-On opening the door, he saw Ralph—and two women, one of whom turned to
-her companion and said a few words in a low voice, then coolly passed
-him and walked into his room.
-
-He recognised her at once, cloaked and veiled though she was. Still, he
-stood at the door, hesitating; his heart seemed to stand still at such
-unparalleled audacity. Only when, removing her veil, she said, almost
-impatiently, “Please shut the door,” did he seem to recover the right
-use of his senses.
-
-“I thought—you were very ill,” he said, coming towards her.
-
-“I am,” said Mercedes, throwing up her veil.
-
-She certainly looked like death: her face pallid, her features sunken,
-her great eyes dimmed.
-
-“This is terrible—you should not have come!” said Hugh, passionately,
-stirred by the sight of the face which had bewitched him, bereft of its
-exquisite beauty. “This is worse than imprudence!”
-
-He drew a chair for her near the writing-table, turned up the lamp, and
-pulled down the blind, half indignant that his love—oh! when he saw her
-he felt she was his love, and nothing else—that this cruel love of his,
-who had caused him such throes, should have lowered herself thus, and
-have forgotten her high estate and womanly dignity to come to him! But
-half despairing—for he saw nothing but an abyss—an abyss of shame for
-her, of dishonour for him, in this.
-
-“_Why_ did you come?” he asked her, when his emotion permitted him to
-think. “It is madness—madness—for you to come here! And at this hour!”
-
-“Why did you not come—to me?” she gasped, rising in her chair. “My
-husband sent for you—and you would not come!”
-
-“You wrote me my dismissal,” said Hugh, bitterly. “You felt a whim, a
-fancy, not to see me any more. You gratified it. You did not think what
-suffering it would cause me. You only pleased your vanity. It pleased
-your vanity to think you could hurt a man who has not been hurt by a
-woman before.”
-
-He stopped short, for a sudden light came upon her face.
-
-“What?” she whispered, leaning forward, her features losing their
-contraction, her pallor lessening. “No woman _hurt_ you before! I was
-told you loved your wife!”
-
-She said the word “wife” reluctantly. Hugh gazed at her wonderingly. His
-eyes travelled eagerly over her countenance. Every line was dear to him.
-The dimples about her mouth—how sweet they were!
-
-But suddenly he remembered himself—his position—and her, his patient. He
-recalled himself to a sense of propriety, and assumed a calm which he
-did not feel.
-
-“I was very sorry to receive your dismissal,” he began, in as ordinary a
-tone of voice as he could command, leaning up against the book-shelves
-in the shadow opposite to her, and folding his arms with a vague
-instinct to repress the turbulent beating of his heart. “But I am still
-more sorry that you, princess, should have stooped to come to me.”
-
-Then he tried to explain why he had not gone to her at the count’s
-bidding. He spoke of professional etiquette, of the duty imposed upon
-members of his craft to support the rules that upheld their dignity. She
-leant back in her chair listening, with a curious smile on her pale
-lips.
-
-He spoke confidently at first; indeed, almost with firmness. But as he
-looked at her, sitting like some exquisite waxen figure in the old
-leathern chair, a delicacy and royal daintiness about her, even to every
-fold of her glistening evening gown, her eyes fixed upon him with an
-expression of sad reproach, faintly tinged with disdain, he felt a wild
-impulse to throw himself at her feet and tell her he was hers—her slave,
-to be hers till death. Astonished at his own feelings—alarmed,—he
-violently repressed them; but his voice first faltered, then lost its
-resonance; he stammered, forgot what he wanted to say; in fact, failed
-miserably in his attempt to assert himself. He was thankful to her when
-she spoke, although she reproached him.
-
-“You were not only my _docteur_,” she said, and her sweet, reproachful
-voice seemed dearer, more familiar, than before. “You said—you promised
-to be my friend.”
-
-“Friendship cannot be all on one side,” said Hugh bitterly,
-relinquishing the pretence of doctor speaking to patient. “You told me
-you did not want me. You wrote as cruelly as ever woman wrote to man. I
-could not believe in your wish for my friendship after that.”
-
-She looked at him, surprised.
-
-“Think,” she said; “remember, remember! How did you be to me that
-night—that night at Lady Boisville’s? The good count he did come
-afterwards to console me. He said to me, ‘Excuse him, because he is so
-clever a man, and he understands _les nerfs_ as no other man does
-understand them.’ Then he tells me more——”
-
-“The count is extremely kind,” said Hugh. “He appears to know me very
-well. And pray what more did the count tell you about me?”
-
-“He tells me” (she closed her eyes and spoke with hesitation and in a
-stifled voice) “how beautiful was your young wife, and how your poor
-heart is buried in her grave.”
-
-There was silence in the big, shabby old room, where the Princess
-Andriocchi, seated in the lamplight, was the spot of light among the
-shadows. The princess had not spoken mockingly; she spoke like a true
-woman, sympathetically, although a cool listener would have gathered
-from her tone and manner how deeply she loved the man to whom she
-addressed those words.
-
-But Hugh was no cool listener; he was excited to the utmost pitch,
-beyond the point where he could recognise that he was not himself.
-
-“That is true in a way,” he said, roughly, with a half laugh. “It is
-true as far as this: if I had a heart, it might be buried in a grave.
-But I have none, princess. All women and men are alike to me. If they
-are ill and want me, then, of course, they are my patients, and I am
-interested in them as such. Otherwise—well, I wish good to everyone; but
-I am content to live alone—aye, and to die alone.”
-
-He had paced the room while venting that speech. Turning abruptly, as he
-somewhat savagely enunciated those last words, he saw a smile on
-Mercedes’ sweet face.
-
-“Ah!” she said, shaking her head, “you think you feel that. But——”
-
-She looked incredulity. He and his sentiments had evidently not
-impressed her or depressed her spirits in the least. On the contrary,
-she looked far more human, far better in a physiological sense, than
-when she first came into the room.
-
-“How good it is to be here!” she said, almost ecstatically, glancing
-above at the dingy ceiling, and around at the rows of book-shelves
-filled with plain bound volumes. “How much good it does me to be here!”
-and she heaved a sigh, a sigh of relief and contentment, sinking back in
-the old chair.
-
-There was so true a ring in her voice, such a reality about her, that
-Dr. Paull was subdued by a sense of awe, or the beginning of awe. The
-situation was unnatural, yet Mercedes, more than at her ease, was making
-him feel as if it were not only natural that he and she should be here
-alone together thus, but even right and proper.
-
-She was evidently completely at her ease. While he stood uncomfortably
-wondering what he should do or say next, she promptly solved the
-difficulty.
-
-“Come here,” she said, not exactly with imperiousness, but certainly
-with the confidence of one in command. “Come here” (she drew one of the
-chairs near her own), “and I will tell you—all.”
-
-He hesitated for a moment. A disagreeable feeling that some shock was
-awaiting him in this threatened revelation made him almost inclined to
-refuse to hear it, now and for always.
-
-What if he had refused? What if he had left her there and then,
-unconfessed of her secret, whatever it might be? Would it have changed
-his after life? would it have averted his fate? Often afterwards he
-asked himself this question, in wonder, in awe: that question which none
-on earth could answer.
-
-He did not refuse. He seated himself by her, and said:
-
-“You are mysterious.”
-
-“Yes,” she said, simply. “It is all a dreadful mystery. You know, every
-time I have seen you, you have made me feel stronger. That is why I ask
-you to see me for five days, and then I tell you all! I tell you—you
-will be frightened when you hear what I have to say!”
-
-There was no lightness about her voice and manner. Indeed, she spoke
-with reluctance, almost with pain.
-
-“I do not think there is much which can frighten me now,” said Hugh,
-reassuringly. “You can tell me everything, anything you please.”
-
-A nervous tremor shook her whole frame.
-
-“I _will_ tell you,” she said, almost convulsively. “I dreamed a dream
-once, when I was a child. I was sitting on a stone bench, such as we
-have in our country. But round me were dark trees, dark bushes of the
-sort we do not have there. It was dark. I dreamed I was in the
-expectation of some one to come to me. I was sitting there, waiting.
-Then I saw the moon, and just as I saw the moon, I saw some one who
-came—a man; and I knew that the man was the one I loved before
-everything, and as I did not love anyone else.”
-
-“Yes,” said Hugh, encouragingly.
-
-The words brought back some unpleasantly suggestive recollection, but
-indistinctly.
-
-“I woke from that dream,” she went on, musingly; “and I knew it was not
-like other dreams. I knew that it meant something. I had been not fond
-of people like my girl friends were fond of people; but that man, oh! I
-loved _him_!”
-
-“Did you recognise him?” asked Dr. Paull, feeling uncomfortable, he
-hardly knew why.
-
-She shook her head.
-
-“No,” she said, “not _then_.... I will tell you. I did not dream that
-dream again. It made me think; I told my confessor. It was not like
-other dreams. If ever I see the place I shall know it; of that I am
-sure.”
-
-“And the man?” asked Hugh.
-
-“I did not see his face,” she went on. “Only from what I felt did I
-guess him to be the same.”
-
-“As what?” His heart beat quick.
-
-“As the man of the dreams which made me so—so unhappy.”
-
-She spoke almost piteously.
-
-“And what were they?” asked Hugh.
-
-Pale as she had been when she came, she grew paler still.
-
-“They,” she said, in a hushed voice, “they were many, many; time after
-time, but always the same dream.” She paused, drew a sobbing breath,
-then went on: “It was of a room. At first when I had the dream I could
-only notice that it was a room with a table, all the other was dark. But
-two things I could see quite plain: one was a _pistolet_ lying upon the
-table, the other was a man sitting like this.” (She leaned her arms upon
-the table and buried her face in her hands.) “And I—I, even in the
-dream, wanted that man to kill himself! yes, to take that pistol and
-shoot himself! Ah! monsieur!” she started and exclaimed. Hugh had
-uttered an exclamation.
-
-“I said I should frighten you!” she said, sinking back and looking at
-him concerned.
-
-He was pale to lividity, but, with a ghastly attempt at a smile, he once
-more folded his arms, and said, coolly:
-
-“Go on. Did the gentleman of your dream take your advice?”
-
-“You must not mock or sneer,” she said, somewhat defiantly. “Monsieur, I
-do not think you should sneer at my suffering! I have been in torment
-with that dream; when I woke up I have felt that I was wicked, just as
-if it were the truth. I have cried and groaned. Oh! I have prayed to
-die!”
-
-“Sneer? I wish I _could_ sneer!” said Hugh, bitterly.
-
-She fixed her eyes upon him, seriously, earnestly; then went on:
-
-“After I had that dream many times each year, I see that room plainer.
-It is a room” (she stopped and looked round) “something like this. Books
-everywhere, on the walls like those, on the table. But while I dream
-that I ask that man—I beg him, indeed, more and more each time—to kill
-himself, never once in all those years did he move or look at me; never
-once did I see his face!”
-
-Hugh could not speak; he was dumb with horror. He could not doubt that
-this dream of Mercedes’ was a dream of the terrible crisis in his life;
-of that hour when Lilia had, dying, tempted him to commit self-murder,
-and he had been saved from the crime by the accidental appearance of
-Mrs. Mervyn. But why should this Spanish girl have dreamt of him
-throughout her young life, far away in a foreign land? Could it be—but
-of course it must be—a coincidence? The thought of a coincidence was a
-relief.
-
-“Dreams are strange things,” he stammered. “Go on, you interest me
-much!” (Interest him—good God!)
-
-“Then,” she said, “came the strangest thing of all. When I was away in
-the country I dreamed that—once more. But it was more like real life
-than before; the room, oh! I saw it plain, even as I see this now. But
-the man—this time he looked at me—and—it was _you_!”
-
-He did not speak. He did not think. It seemed as if his whole life had
-come to a halt.
-
-It was Mercedes who spoke first. She had watched him wonderingly after
-her revelation. His dark face, stern and set, told her nothing.
-
-“What—you think about it?” she said, at last. Her voice made him shiver
-like the touch of cold steel before the cut.
-
-“I? I do not know,” he stammered. “Of course, it all seems very strange
-to you. But you must not think about it.”
-
-In his perturbation, the instinct to protect this weak woman, who by
-some law not understood by science had suffered in dreams on his
-account, mastered all selfish emotion.
-
-“I assure you,” he said, with a valiant attempt at a smile, “that the
-best thing you can do is to forget all about these dreams. I will give
-you a book about dreams, a book dry and hard to read perhaps, but which
-will make you feel happier on the subject.”
-
-“But”—she began—“why—why—should I like _you_ so much—why should the man
-of my dream be _you_?”
-
-How could the wife of Prince Andriocchi and the constant companion of
-his friend the count, contrive, being no actress, to look into his face
-with infantine innocence as Mercedes looked now? That look made him
-think better of those two men.
-
-“That—belongs to a branch of a subject I have not studied,” he said,
-hoping she did not notice the guilty flush which suddenly rose to his
-face. “I will think over all you have said to me to-night, and will tell
-you my opinion next time I see you,” he added, rising.
-
-“Oh!” She looked disappointed. “When—when will that be?” She spoke
-anxiously. “You see how well being with you makes me! Let it be soon!”
-she urged.
-
-What was he to say? To follow the promptings of his passionate feeling
-for her would have been madness. No, no; duty, duty alone——
-
-That pause of a few seconds when he summoned all his force to subdue
-himself, a pause which seemed to him hideously long, was broken by a
-neighbouring, a friendly church clock, which struck ten.
-
-“Do you hear?” he exclaimed, seeming to be horrified although nothing
-could have horrified him just then. He sprang up. “I had no idea it was
-this hour,” he said, truthfully enough. “Have you your carriage? Who was
-that with you?”
-
-“My maid,” she said. “Emma—a German. Lady Boisville sent her to me. Such
-a kind person!”
-
-“But your carriage?” he asked, anxiously. It was farthest from his
-thoughts to compromise her.
-
-“It is there,” she added, with a certain assertion of dignity, rising.
-“Perhaps you will tell—that I am coming?”
-
-Hugh hastened to the door and called “Ralph.” A voice from the
-dining-room answered “Yes,” and Ralph came hurrying to the door.
-
-“Where is the princess’ maid?” asked his father, as coldly as he could.
-
-“She has been sitting in the dining-room with me, father.”
-
-“That was right. Call up the carriage yourself, will you? Don’t bother
-Jones.”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-Hugh returned to the room. She was standing thoughtfully at the table.
-
-What should he say to her? As he stood undecided, Ralph came hurrying
-back; he ceremoniously offered her his arm, and presently he was
-standing alone on the pavement, the stars shining mockingly down upon
-him as he gazed after her departing carriage.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIV.
- A QUESTIONABLE DOCTRINE.
-
-
-Dr. Paull had but little sleep that night. He spent it reading a book
-which had been presented to him by its author a few months ago, and
-which he had then shelved at the top of his bookcases among works not
-likely to be required.
-
-The author was an old man, a Mr. Helven, who had been a celebrated
-analytical chemist, but who had retired from active practice to pursue
-certain fantastic theories which had taken possession of his mind. He
-had been a frequent visitor at the Pinewood during Sir Roderick’s
-lifetime. Hugh had seen him once since at a learned conversazione, and
-they had had some discussion, the result of which was that Mr. Helven
-sent him a copy of his book, “The result,” he wrote in the accompanying
-note, “of the research of a lifetime.”
-
-Dr. Paull had thoughts which he chose to hide, not only from the whole
-world, but even, if possible, from himself. He took the book to his
-bedroom and only began to read when the last sounds of daily life had
-ceased within and without the house.
-
-The title of the work was: “_On Certain Ancient Doctrines._ By a Modern
-Pythagorean.”
-
-While cutting the pages Hugh’s attention was arrested by certain words
-on the flyleaf:
-
- “BOOK II.
-
- ON THE AGE OF SOULS.”
-
-“Where have I seen that before?” he asked himself.
-
-The words were familiar, and recalled sensations the reverse of
-pleasant.
-
-He pondered for a few minutes: then he recollected. Memory carried his
-mind back to the night at the Pinewood when, after the day spent with
-Lilia, Sir Roderick had lent him a treatise written by a Dutch author.
-He had, so he afterwards believed, fallen asleep while reading it—and
-had dreamt that he read a chapter or chapters of its second part (which
-was entitled, “On the Age of Souls”).
-
-This finding in black and white that of which he had dreamt years ago
-was weird. He turned over the pages that followed, and the sense of the
-uncanny was intensified. Here, almost word for word, was the strange
-treatise which he had read in his vision long ago; here was the history
-of the old doctrine of Metempsychosis, or the passage of the Soul
-through many bodies in various lives. There was also the speculation of
-the author (or commentator), that the object of all life upon the planet
-was to develop high spiritual force: gradually, slowly, through its
-friction with material frames. The speculator assumed this plan to be a
-merciful idea of a beneficent Creator, by which the Soul, when finally
-attaining to its eternal grandeur, might not be overwhelmed with the
-magnitude of its obligations, because it would recognise glory as
-principally earned by its long course of suffering and struggle.
-
-Meanwhile, the author suggested that while the spiritual essence called
-the Soul, being eternal, could have no age, there being no such thing as
-Time in Eternity, the duration of its inhabitance of matter was of
-different length in different cases. Courageous souls that fought
-bravely for perfection would attain it sooner than the less
-enterprising. Those who lent themselves to evil would retrograde—would,
-like Sisyphus, be perpetually at work at the same step-in-advance. And
-those who failed to believe in the Eternal might revolve in fleshly
-forms even while the globe itself continued in the Universe in its
-present form.
-
-Hugh read and re-read. Certain ideas he had vaguely felt floating among
-his troubled thoughts of late were assuming definite shape.
-
-Throughout that hardest, most perplexed reverie of his life he
-remembered certain facts. Lilia’s unbelief during life: her rebellion
-against the law of Death at the last. The strange knowledge the Princess
-Mercedes had had from her earliest years of the awful scene in his
-life—Mercedes, who was born nine months after Lilia’s death.
-
-“If I tell Helven this,” he said to himself, with a ghastly laugh at his
-own thoughts, “he will say that Mercedes is Lilia re-embodied. Did ever
-a romantic dreamer on subjects beyond our mortal powers of comprehension
-find such a case in point to bear out his wild imaginings?”
-
-Lilia’s death—Mercedes’ birth—Lilia’s wild love for him—Mercedes’
-feeling that his presence was necessary to her wellbeing.
-
-“Bah! I am trying to justify my passion for that girl—that is what I am
-doing!” he cried to himself in an excess of self-anger. “I want to
-justify my unfaithfulness to Lilia, whom, if _this_ is love, I never
-loved! God! I would die a thousand times for this girl—she has me, soul,
-body, _all_!”
-
-No more would he deceive himself. He knew now—he knew that he was in the
-grasp of the one great passion of his whole life.
-
-What should he do? Fly? To-morrow, if he chose, he could cancel all
-engagements, cast off all responsibilities, leave all arrangements to
-his lawyer, and start for—anywhere—without detriment to his one duty in
-life—Ralph. His father was dead, his sisters absorbed in their husbands
-and families. He had no ties. Would it not be best to turn his back upon
-his great temptation?
-
-He resisted the thought. The fact was, he shrank from the daily and
-hourly struggle against the longing for Mercedes’ presence which he felt
-would arise when he had cut himself adrift.
-
-“I am exaggerating the situation,” he told himself, summoning his
-ordinary common sense to his aid. “It throws one off one’s mental
-balance to be confronted by such a coincidence as my dreaming of that
-fantastic stuff years before the man wrote it.”
-
-Meanwhile he felt as if he would like to see Helven again. The feeling
-was so strong next morning that after he had finished his hospital work
-he drove to the publishers of the book his thoughts had so curiously
-anticipated, to obtain its author’s address.
-
-The address was a street in Bloomsbury. With the new instinct to hide
-his doings dominating him, Dr. Paull would not drive there in his own
-carriage.
-
-He telegraphed to Helven asking him for an audience that evening. The
-reply arrived during the afternoon:
-
- “_With pleasure—at eight.—Helven._”
-
-So, with an excuse for his absence to Ralph, at twenty minutes to eight
-Hugh strolled out of the house, and hailing a hansom in Oxford street,
-drove to Blank street, Bloomsbury.
-
-It was a large, old, neglected house, smelling of damp and stale tobacco
-smoke. A maid ushered Dr. Paull up the blackened staircase into the
-large drawing-rooms, once, in their early days, the reception-rooms of
-fashionable dames, and doubtless gorgeous with tapestries and crystal
-chandeliers; now dismal with dirt and dingy books, papers, and dusty
-odds and ends of crazy furniture.
-
-There was one bright spot in the room—a large lamp on the centre table,
-where Mr. Helven was bending over his papers, a long pipe in his mouth.
-
-“Ah!” he said, in a pleased tone, looking up from his work over his
-spectacles and laying aside his pipe, “I am glad to see you, Dr. Paull.
-A chair for Dr. Paull, Margaret, if you please. Allow me, I will help
-you;” and as courteously as if the dirtily-dressed servant girl had been
-a refined lady, the old man assisted her to remove some twenty or so
-large volumes from a chair, and bowing her out of the room, invited Hugh
-to be seated.
-
-“This is unexpected,” he said, beaming at his guest. “I remember meeting
-you about ten years ago. You were then a confirmed materialist, doctor.”
-
-“Scarcely that,” said Hugh. “I have never altogether given up the simple
-tenets I learned in my mother’s lap.”
-
-Now that he was here, burning to tell his story and to see the effect it
-would produce on the Pythagorean, a certain awkwardness made him preface
-his disclosures by ordinary talk. For some minutes the two scientists
-spoke of the recent discoveries in physiology and other of Nature’s
-storehouses, and of the careers or deaths of well-known scholars who had
-been present at the conversazione where they had met. Then old Helven
-grew absent in manner, and suddenly interrupted Hugh in the middle of a
-sentence.
-
-“Dr. Paull, you have something to tell me,” he said. “What is it?”
-
-Their eyes met, they smiled.
-
-“I have a strange story to tell you,” said Hugh. “But first you must
-understand that, without my express permission, it must go no further
-than your memory. You will remember, no fear of that!”
-
-Then he told him of his last night’s perusal of his work _On Certain
-Ancient Doctrines_, and of his strange dream of the part “On the Age of
-Souls,” twenty years ago, at the Pinewood.
-
-Helven was amazed.
-
-“I cannot doubt your impressions,” he said, after hearing details. “But,
-visionary though people think me, I confess to but small belief in
-dreams. I can believe that there may appear to be a strong similarity in
-a vivid dream to facts that afterwards ensue. But you, in your own book
-_On the Physiology of Sleep_, refute the idea of impressions we receive
-in dreams and our waking memory of those impressions coinciding. The
-fact is, that when you thought you dreamt of those chapters I headed ‘On
-the Age of Souls,’ I had not even planned out their synopsis.”
-
-“But you knew the doctrines then, Mr. Helven,” said Hugh.
-
-“The doctrines are as old as the hills, Dr. Paull,” said Helven. “But is
-your story a story of dreams?”
-
-“I wish it were!” said Hugh. “No, what I have to tell you is simple
-fact. I trust you; so I will not disguise identities. The tale is of my
-own life.”
-
-He briefly recounted his acquaintance with Sir Roderick, his affection
-for Lilia, and their marriage, not omitting his dream of a strange lady
-who spoke strange words to him with a foreign accent: the dream which he
-believed now to have been a prevision of Mercedes.
-
-“My wife loved me unreasonably,” he said. “At times I feared the feeling
-might become a monomania. Poor child! when I had to tell her that she
-must resign herself to die, there was a terrible scene.”
-
-He recounted the awful hour of his life, when Lilia exacted a promise
-that as soon as she was dead he would commit self-murder, and how he was
-saved by the accident to the babe, and Mrs. Mervyn’s consequent
-interruption with the child in her arms.
-
-“I was sitting at the table in the library when this friend, with my
-child in her arms, suddenly appeared,” he said. “Pistols were on the
-table before me. I was resting my arms on the table and my head was bent
-down upon them. I am telling you these details because they bear upon
-the extraordinary part of my story.
-
-“Well, I was saved. Then followed nineteen years of hard work and
-solitude. I have shunned society; I went weekly to the Pinewood, to my
-wife’s grave. I did all I could to prevent my poor child from feeling
-her loss; and in this sort of life I hoped to atone to my wife’s spirit
-for breaking the terrible promise she forced from me on her death-bed. I
-had many hours of wretchedness when I remembered her frame of mind when
-she passed into the Infinite. Often and often I reproached myself that I
-had not taken her atheism more seriously, that I had not made her
-realisation of Eternity my constant work. Since her death I have tried
-constantly, in all possible ways, to communicate with her soul, wherever
-it may be. But pray, struggle, do what I might, I failed.”
-
-“You, with your knowledge, believed it possible for an embodied spirit
-to communicate with the immaterial?” asked Helven, leaning back in his
-chair, surprised.
-
-“I did not believe, but I—shall I say, hoped? No, scarcely that. Mr.
-Helven, when loss and grief and anxiety are brought close home to us, to
-our very hearts, where are we? Where are theories, beliefs?”
-
-Helven looked at Hugh, whose pale cheeks were flushed with excitement,
-as he might have looked at a newly-found specimen of a rare _genus_.
-
-“I have never married,” he said, dryly. “I do not understand these
-family feelings.”
-
-“Would you understand a being who rose from the dead to bear witness to
-your theories?” asked Hugh.
-
-“When it happens, I will tell you my opinion,” said Helven.
-
-“It has happened to me,” said Dr. Paull. “At least, when you hear what I
-have to tell you, you will, I think, be glad that we have met—years ago
-and now.”
-
-Helven assured him he was not credulous, nor easily convinced.
-
-“Hear me before you say more,” said Hugh. Then he recounted his meeting
-with the princess, the attraction she had felt for him, the deep, almost
-terribly strong affection that he had discovered to exist for her in his
-mind, and the mystery of her visions of the crucial hour of his life.
-
-“What you say is peculiar, and would certainly bear favourably upon the
-development of a case of transmigration,” Helven admitted. “But there
-are other theories to be considered. We do not at present understand the
-influence that embodied spirits have upon each other.”
-
-Then he discoursed learnedly about natural affinities, of the attraction
-between certain human beings of opposite sexes, even at a first most
-cursory meeting.
-
-“When material law meets spiritual law, it is difficult, almost
-impossible, to detect which of the two is at work,” he concluded by
-saying. “I can assure you, doctor, I could have filled volumes with
-cases of possible metempsychosis as plausible, as well authenticated as
-yours, had I believed that the record would further faith in that which
-I believe to be a fundamental truth.”
-
-“The most staggering fact of all I have not yet told you,” said Hugh,
-somewhat repelled by the cool and calculating reception of his
-experiences by the philosopher. “My wife died on a certain date. Nine
-months, less two days afterwards, this girl, who is conversant with my
-life story without ever having learned it, who knows more of my true
-history than any one alive, was born.”
-
-Helven looked curiously at him.
-
-“That is certainly strange,” he said, more interested. Then he entered
-notes, in a shorthand of his own invention, in one of the manuscript
-volumes devoted to cases of this sort, and Hugh, somewhat astonished,
-took leave.
-
-He could not understand Helven’s apathy. Placing himself in imagination
-in the old scientist’s place, he fancied that he would have been excited
-to enthusiasm at the statement of a case such as his.
-
-If he could have seen and heard Helven as he left him!
-
-The old philosopher looked after him with a smile and a sigh.
-
-“Fifty years old at least,” he muttered to himself, “and as much in
-love, as they call it, with a girl as if he were a boy!”
-
-Then he took a few notes of the interview, and resuming his work
-speedily forgot Hugh and his throes as if no one existed but himself.
-
-Hugh, dissatisfied, a trifle disgusted too, he hardly knew why, strolled
-westward. A fresh breeze met him as he walked up Oxford Street. It made
-him think yearningly of the country, of the heathery hills lying purple
-under a wind-blown sky, of the pine-clad valley where the solemn trees
-stood as sentinels about—a grave.
-
-The busy thoroughfare was comparatively still: only a few passengers
-were strolling west or east. The street lamps twinkled redly in the
-clear summer night in contrast to the white glimmer of the stars in the
-fathomless dark blue above. Deep in thought, Hugh, without noticing,
-wended his way homewards through the square where Lady Forwood lived.
-
-As he passed he saw her brougham waiting and the half-door open. He was
-hurrying past to avoid a meeting—he was in no humour for ordinary
-talk—but Lady Forwood, just as she was coming out, had seen him, and
-called out “Dr. Paull!” so eagerly, there was no escape. He reluctantly
-turned back.
-
-“I am going to a concert at Lady M——’s,” she said; “positively the last
-entertainment this season, and very few are in town to go, so my absence
-would be noticed. But you must come in; I have something most important
-to ask you.”
-
-She caught the long train of her dress over her arm and preceded him to
-the dining-room. There was something new in her manner to him which was
-half annoyed, half-bantering.
-
-“Now, sir, perhaps you will explain,” she said, half-laughingly. “The
-first intimation we had that we are to be your guests next month was a
-newspaper paragraph, and you must acknowledge that that is hardly fair.”
-
-Hugh stared at her.
-
-“You—a newspaper paragraph—I do not understand,” he stammered.
-
-“Surely——” she began; then, with a glance at his face, on which there
-was a comical expression of horror, she turned aside and, repressing a
-laugh, fetched a newspaper from a side-table, and, opening it, showed
-him a paragraph in a column headed “Fashionable Intelligence.”
-
- “The Prince and Princess Andriocchi and Sir David and Lady Forwood
- will be the guests of Dr. Paull at his residence, the Pinewood,
- Surrey, next month.”
-
-Hugh read it twice, thrice, before he believed that this experience was
-a reality. Then he turned to Lady Forwood with a laugh—a laugh of a
-strange exhilaration which was produced by the surprise, the shock
-almost, following upon his interview with Helven.
-
-“Do you mean to say you have not received my letter?” he had said,
-before he had even had the idea of speaking. It seemed to him as if some
-other entity was speaking through his lips, while his will remained
-passive. And what the other entity uttered was a falsity!
-
-“Not a line, not a word!” said Lady Forwood, becoming serious. “Whose
-fault can it be? If the servants——”
-
-“Whatever fault there is in the matter is mine, and mine only,” said
-Hugh, reckless with a feeling which was half delirious joy, half
-despair. “But do you think, when the princess’ name has been taken in
-vain like this, that they will come?”
-
-“Come?” Lady Forwood looked blank surprise with her beautiful blue eyes.
-“You don’t mean to say you have not asked _her_?” she cried.
-
-“I had hoped _you_ would arrange it with her,” he said in desperation.
-“I thought—I fancied—the change and the quiet might be good for her, so
-I was having the place done up.”
-
-“I think myself I should have made sure of the birds before I got the
-cage ready,” said Lady Forwood, demurely (although her inward comment
-was an amused “It is really high time the poor man had a woman to look
-after him”). “However, you know, you and I are old friends, as friends
-go now-a-days, and I should so much enjoy invading you in your Surrey
-hermitage, that I will undertake to make it all right with the
-Andriocchis. Only tell me exactly _when_ you want us.”
-
-“You saw—next month,” said Hugh, half-savagely. He would investigate the
-affair of the paragraph. He would find out whose hand had precipitated
-his fate, had cast the last straw to balance his destiny.
-
-“Any day?” asked Lady Forwood, smiling.
-
-“Any day,” he said, somewhat brusquely.
-
-Just then Sir David’s voice was audible in the hall asking where “my
-lady” was.
-
-“Here,” she called out. “It is all settled,” she said, as her husband
-appeared. “An important letter miscarried—thus the mistake.”
-
-Then she entered into a voluble explanation which astonished Hugh, but
-appeared perfectly intelligible to Sir David, who shook his hand quite
-warmly as he stepped into the brougham after his wife.
-
-Who had done this thing? Who was it who had fathomed not only his secret
-thoughts, but had dared to publish them to the world?
-
-“I will know some day,” he promised himself.
-
-Then he went home, and wrote to Mrs. Mervyn. The gist of the letter was
-that he and the house party might arrive any day after the 1st of
-September.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XV.
- EXTRACT FROM THE DIARY OF DR. HUGH PAULL.
-
-
- _The Pinewood, October, 18—._
-
-They say lookers-on see more of the game than the players. I shall write
-down all that has happened, and review it as a third person might before
-sending a brief statement to Helven. I do not think myself that when he
-reads it he will retain any reasonable doubt of the reincarnation of
-Lilia’s soul.
-
-I know now who instigated _that paragraph_; but more of that in its
-proper place.
-
-Was I glad when my life was unexpectedly taken out of my own hands, and
-my wild dream of entertaining Mercedes and inviting the Forwoods at the
-same time, was suddenly realised? I cannot tell. I have felt emotions
-called forth by an extraordinary position, therefore cannot classify
-them.
-
-My first step when I received a few words from Mercedes, that she and
-her husband would come here, was to come down myself and see to things,
-after sending off Ralph a few days in advance.
-
-A surprise awaited me. I had certainly given mammy _carte blanche_ to
-pledge my credit to any reasonable amount, but hardly considered how
-thoroughly she would set to work. I scarcely recognised the old brougham
-under its new paint and varnish, nor Andrew the groom in his brand-new
-livery. As I drove through the wood, the roads were in capital
-condition, the young trees were flourishing, the desolate look had gone.
-The same with the garden—the beds bright with flowers, the turf close
-shaven. The house? The house looked as when I first saw it—the veranda
-and shutters bright green, the creepers carefully trailed.
-
-Rover, poor old Nero’s descendant after I don’t know how many
-generations, came leaping about me quite delighted at the change about
-him; and there, at the hall-door, stood mammy in a very becoming cap,
-quite the mistress of the mansion. Ralph came springing out more like
-other lads than I have yet seen him. Poor boy! I felt a pang of remorse.
-Has my barren life overshadowed his? Heaven forgive me if it has! I
-thought I was doing my best.
-
-The hall had been modernised, the billiard-table renovated. But the
-drawing-room! Could it be the room where I saw Lilia leaning against the
-piano? The brown draperies, the neutral tints had disappeared. It was
-gold and white everywhere: the room had positively a bridal look, and
-even the plants in the white flower-stands were white and yellow.
-
-“This looks a thorough woman’s den,” I remarked. “If I were left to
-myself, I should not set my foot across the threshold.”
-
-“Don’t be churlish,” mammy said. “You have invited a princess, and you
-must entertain her properly, especially as it is only for once.”
-
-“Why only for once?” I asked.
-
-Poor innocent mammy! how little she suspected _who_ it was she was to
-play hostess to.
-
-“I thought they lived in Spain?” she said, looking curiously at me.
-
-I hurried her upstairs, where the arrangements for the guests were
-wonderfully managed. Then I felt a sudden uneasiness. Coming down in the
-train I had determined to give Lilia—God pardon me if I dare to call
-Mercedes by her old name!—to give the one who is really my own darling
-the opportunity of showing herself to me in gleams of recognition of her
-old home. I had planned that some day she should come into the library
-and find me seated at the table—those pistols before me—then, then, when
-I am convinced of her soul’s identity, my love for her and hers for me
-could not be sinful or even faulty, it would be the most natural thing
-in the world. Now, her old home was changed, scarcely recognisable.
-
-“You have not done anything to the library?” I cried, almost fiercely, I
-fear; for poor mammy seemed dreadfully “upset,” as women call it, until
-I pacified her.
-
-The library furniture had been recovered and the position of the chairs
-and tables altered, that was all. I soon had all the things back in
-their places. The books were untouched. Standing at the door, the room
-looked so much the same I could almost conjure up the figure of Sir
-Roderick, seated in his chair, his long pipe in his mouth.
-
-Oh the misery of recalling the past! Yet, yet, had they not died, would
-Lilia’s soul and my soul have ever known each other as they do now?
-
-I went to meet her at the station. They were all to have a saloon
-carriage—the prince and princess, the Forwoods, and Lady Boisville. I
-had invited the count, much against my wish, but in deference to Lady
-Forwood’s advice. “If you did _not_, the prince might make an excuse at
-the last moment, in which case it would hardly do for Mercedes to come,”
-she said. And recognising that she was right in her suggestion, I wrote
-to the fellow. Fortunately he had accepted an invitation to deer-stalk,
-and was going to the Lakes on his way (or _said_ he was, which amounted
-to the same thing).
-
-Driving to the station in the brougham (the waggonette followed for the
-men), I felt a dread that she would not come. It seemed too glorious a
-crown to my wasted, weary life that she would live under my roof, that
-every hour of each day I could look at her and listen to her voice, that
-morning and night I should touch her hand.
-
-“Impossible!” I said to myself. “It cannot happen, it will not happen;
-something will prevent it all at the last moment.”
-
-Shall I ever forget waiting on the platform that September evening? The
-houses and trees growing dark against a yellow sunset, people coming out
-of the booking-office and buying papers (travellers by the incoming
-train), porters trundling the luggage to the end of the platform. How
-could they all go on in this senseless, mechanical way when the one
-great event of my life was happening—when Joy was coming for the first
-time to my tired, thirsty soul?
-
-Then came an awful minute. The signal was down. The electric bell had
-sounded, “ding-dong, ding-dong” went the porter’s handbell. “Andrew!” I
-shouted (it seemed to me a shill, frantic cry, but it can scarcely have
-been, for he only said, “All right, sir,” and no one else looked round),
-then I saw the steam-cloud and the black engine-front, and rattle-rattle
-the train came slowly nearer and alongside, how slowly! Was tortoise
-ever so abominably languid in its creepings?
-
-No one there! That was my first belief. I went up and down by the
-first-class carriages, then someone touched me on the shoulder—Sir
-David.
-
-“They put us at the wrong end,” he said. How jovial he looked in his
-shooting suit! “Oh, yes, we’ve all come.” What more he said I don’t
-know. I turned and saw _her_ wrapped up in a cloak, her face so pale,
-sweet and wistful under a heavy black hat; just a little colour came to
-her lips as our eyes met, and I took her hand upon my arm. Her touch
-strengthened me. I cooled down and was able to behave decently,
-respectably. Ralph appeared—Mrs. Mervyn had sent him, I suppose—and Mr.
-Mervyn came out of the booking-office. I never was more delighted to see
-them in my life; for Lady Forwood preferred the waggonette, and I gave
-her and the prince and the other men over to Mervyn, and was thus able
-to drive home opposite _her_ and Lady Boisville.
-
-Lady Boisville, good-natured soul, was pleased with everything.
-
-“What white sand, what purple heather, what very _majestic_ pines, Dr.
-Paull!” she said, looking at the dear old trees through her eye-glass.
-
-But, my _darling_, what did _she_ say, or think? Would she recognise?
-Would some gleam of a soul-memory beyond our knowledge and power of
-understanding show itself? I watched her narrowly, breathlessly. As the
-shadows flitted across her face, I fancied I saw a troubled expression
-in her eyes.
-
-It vanished as she looked at me. She smiled. “Can I walk here, some
-day?” she asked me.
-
-I replied that “she must do exactly as she pleased.” I wished her to
-understand that while she was in my domain, she was its queen.
-
-She laughed—a laugh which chilled me, for it was Lilia’s laugh. Those
-two women, so utterly unlike in outline, feature, colouring, laughed
-alike. One physical detail in common—one only!
-
-Arrived home, mammy welcomed her so warmly, in so motherly a way, I felt
-grateful. The ladies disappeared to their rooms. A cloud obscured the
-sunshine. Then came the prince, and Forwood, and the valets and maids,
-and the rest of the inevitable paraphernalia. Well! if you have the
-pearl, I suppose you must take the oystershell as well.
-
-Was this my old bachelor, or rather widower domain, which used to look
-so grim and forlorn, all echoes and musty odours, where Ralph and I used
-to stroll about together in an aimless fashion, always, I fancy, feeling
-a certain amount of relief when we got back to bustling London, which,
-however noisy and grimy, is life-full? This pleasant, well-lighted
-house, where, thanks to mammy’s arrangements, bright patches of colour
-met the eye at every turn; deftly placed bits of china, or banks of
-plants glowing with bloom. I felt self-reproach. No, I have not lived as
-I ought to have lived. I have taught my boy to live beside a tomb.
-
-I went down to the drawing-room. I was gazing at the fading sunset out
-of the open window, after wondering at the pretty effects of light made
-by lamps set about the room with coloured shades, when I started—it was
-_Lilia’s_ laugh again.
-
-_She_ came into the room; she was dressed in glistening white, with
-lilies at her breast, and Rover was leaping about her.
-
-“Your dog is very friendly,” she said, and she patted the obtrusive
-animal, which was panting with pleasure.
-
-“He is not generally so,” I said, with a scared sensation. In the dim
-light it recalled Lilia and her Nero too forcibly. “He is mostly surly
-to strangers.”
-
-“He reminds me of some dog, but I cannot remember where I have seen the
-dog,” she said, thoughtfully, coming to me at the window, but her
-attention was arrested by the sunset. What happy minutes those were, as
-we stood side by side gazing at the monarch of the sky sinking into his
-purple bed! (Those were her words, not mine.)
-
-It was delightful to see her look bright as she sat by my side at
-dinner. In the evening she played her guitar, and sang to it. It was a
-peep into the country of her birth. I could imagine the hidalgos and
-donnas pacing amid the picturesque buildings, and many other things.
-When Mercedes, during this visit to me, was purely Spanish, I almost
-ceased to believe in the identity I so firmly hold in my own mind as
-hers.
-
-Next morning I took my guests about the place; carefully avoiding the
-terrace. I had a plan about the terrace.
-
-In the afternoon Mercedes and I, Lady Forwood and the prince, drove in
-the waggonette. I took them to see the ruins of an ancient abbey. Lady
-Forwood absorbed the prince’s attention—(for such a born boor as he is,
-I must say he behaved very decently)—and I was able to tell my love the
-old tales of the bygone monastery, and to watch the changing expressions
-that flit across her pure face, like the clouds across a summer sky.
-What intense reverence this child-woman has for all that is holy! As we
-walked through the ruins of the monkish chapel I was shamed by her
-hushed, almost awestruck manner.
-
-“_God_ has lived here,” she said, casting a longing look back as I
-removed the hurdle, placed to keep out the sheep, for her to pass out.
-“And it is a ruin!”
-
-“God is everywhere,” I said.
-
-“Yes,” she said. “But it makes me sad that those monks, they are all
-gone from your land.”
-
-Then she told me of all that the nuns had been to her in her haunted
-childhood; of their cheerfulness, their patience with the child who was
-unlike other children. I did not wonder she reverenced religious orders.
-For my part, realising as I did that Lilia’s love for me was the cause
-of Mercedes’ sad life, I blessed them.
-
-Returning home, my chastened mood was roughly dispelled by a significant
-incident.
-
-A fine barouche and pair drove past us: in it sat Colonel Roderick Pym,
-his wife, Lady Carnwood—(how objectionable is that fashion of re-married
-widows retaining their late husband’s name!)—and his pretty
-stepdaughters. I cut him dead, as I have steadily done. To my
-astonishment he bowed low, raising his hat, and the prince did the same.
-
-I looked at Mrs. Mervyn. She got very red. The prince explained.
-
-“Who is that gentilman?” he asked me. “I see him with my fren, the
-count. I not know at all that he live here.”
-
-This explained the paragraph in the paper. Roderick Pym and the count in
-league! Without absolute confirmation I would swear those two are our
-enemies.
-
-_Our_ enemies? How natural it has been to class myself with my twin
-soul; but to what will it lead? How will our spiritual union end? That
-spiritual union which came about this-wise.
-
-First of all, after some bright days spent almost entirely with her—days
-made up of long strolls in the part of the garden which had been best
-kept up since Lilia’s death (the flower-gardens in the Pinewood,
-including the terrace, I had let go; it would have been useless expense
-to keep them trim and fair as in Sir Roderick’s time)—after our drives,
-our chats at dinner, rendered livelier by little sparrings between Lady
-Forwood and Mrs. Mervyn, and our talks in the softly lighted
-drawing-room, peace was disturbed by a telegram which arrived one day at
-luncheon for the prince.
-
-He turned a yellowish white, and a remarkably nasty expression changed
-his face from moderately pleasant to cowardly hang-dog. Still, he was
-well-bred enough to conceal further emotion.
-
-I saw Mercedes look uneasy. After luncheon he evidently asked her for a
-_tête-à-tête_, quite an event between those two. I was sitting in the
-library, anxious, when a tap came at the door, and enter Sir David and
-the prince.
-
-“The prince, not feeling his English equal to the occasion, Paull,
-wishes me to explain to you that some bad news about a recent
-speculation obliges him to return to town at once,” said Sir David;
-then, evidently noticing my dismayed look, he added, hurriedly: “He asks
-a continuance of your hospitality for the princess.”
-
-Of course, I said I should be delighted. I was not sorry to be rid of
-the man; but somehow I augured ill for Mercedes for the future. Heaven
-avert the evil, whatever it may be!
-
-No drive that afternoon. The prince departed, luggage, valet, and all. I
-did not see Mercedes till just before dinner. She looked pale, but not
-unhappy. As I took her in to dinner, she said:
-
-“Can I see you, alone, this evening?”
-
-During dinner the wild idea flashed across me to take her to the spot
-she had dreamed of, the spot where I had seen her in that strange vision
-twenty years ago.
-
-The very thought of it exhilarated me. I was excited. I felt as if each
-moment that passed a year was slipping from my shoulders. I was
-rejuvenating. I hurried the men over their wine. Then I went into the
-drawing-room and got mammy away into a corner.
-
-“Don’t look surprised at what I am going to say,” I said in an
-undertone. “And don’t exclaim, or look round. You must do something for
-me.”
-
-She stared at me. I must have looked wild, but very quietly she said:
-
-“If I can.”
-
-“It is the merest trifle,” I said. “I wish to show the princess a
-certain spot in the grounds by moonlight. Keep them all amused till we
-come back.”
-
-She said something, but I did not listen. I left her at once. I made
-Lady Forwood sit down at the piano, and when everyone was attentive (she
-plays well) I told Mercedes to slip away, quietly, soon after I left the
-room, and I went into the hall.
-
-It was a glorious night, with a brilliant golden moon that bathed
-everything in a warm light. Presently she came gliding into the hall and
-up to me like a ghost, and would have seated herself on the divan, but I
-said, “No, the garden,” and wrapping her light cloak, which was hanging
-near, round her shoulders, I took her out.
-
-Out into the stillness. It was so still, we could hear the voices of the
-people in the drawing-room, and the sound of our footsteps on the gravel
-was so loud I fancied that it must be audible in the house.
-
-We walked on for some time, side by side, in silence. Presently we came
-to the pine grove. The light fell through the straight rows of slender
-trunks as the sunlight falls by day, only it was a yellowish white that
-silvered the sandy water tracks, glimmered upon the pebbles, and made
-fairy dells of the clumps of bracken. By common accord we halted here.
-As we stood still, a soft night wind arose and went sighing among the
-pine-tops; the feathered crests of the slim trees nodded to one another
-as if, so it seemed to me, they mourned my folly.
-
-And she? She drew a long breath.
-
-“This beautiful scent!” she said. “How I love it!”
-
-“Have you pinewoods in Spain?” I asked.
-
-“Such as this? No,” she said, beginning to walk again. There was not a
-shadow of embarrassment at being alone with me, in almost a forest, at
-this hour. She is too simple-minded for that. “But this perfume, it is
-like a room in our (I mean my father’s) castle in the country in Spain.”
-
-She explained that the Duque’s drawing-rooms, as we call them, were each
-furnished in some luxurious material. One was all malachite, from the
-doors to the table furniture; another was silver, another cedar.
-
-“In the cedar room I was most happy,” she said; “it seemed that I knew
-that odour, it was like _home_, and this scent of your pines is the
-same.”
-
-Then I asked her what she wished to say to me. She hesitated for a few
-moments. Then she put her hand on my arm with the childlike _abandon_ so
-peculiarly hers.
-
-“Tell me what I must do,” she said. “The prince he has gone away to see,
-someone else he should not go to see.”
-
-_She_ asked _me_ such a question! Anger, jealousy! I have been angry
-often, too often—but jealousy? I have condemned others for that meanest
-passion in human nature, and now I am punished. I know what it is!
-
-“What do you mean?” I said. “I do not understand.”
-
-“Ah!” (It was a sob rather than a sigh.) “Monsieur, I am sure you do not
-understand,” she said, once more standing still, but this time
-confronting me. “You were good to your wife, I know that!”
-
-“I was _not_ good to my wife,” I said, bitterly. “You must not come to
-me for advice. Ask Lady Forwood, Mrs. Mervyn, anyone, not me!”
-
-At that moment I forgot my theory, that Mercedes’ soul and Lilia’s are
-one and the same; this was the wife of the Prince Andriocchi, and I,
-daring to love her as no man should dare to love another man’s wife, was
-burning with jealousy, and was false to Lilia’s memory.
-
-“Never tell me you are not good,” she said; “I know better.”
-
-The words were ordinary enough. But at the end of her speech she gave a
-little satisfied laugh—_Lilia’s_ laugh.
-
-I felt less human—the ghostly, creepy sensation reasserted itself.
-
-“How can you know better?” I said.
-
-“I know you are good,” she said. “You are an angel among other men: and
-I ask you what I am to do. I should feel sorry, should I not, when the
-prince does wrong?”
-
-I felt my breath go—as after a blow.
-
-“Certainly,” I said.
-
-“Do not think me wicked,” she said, her voice trembling. “Oh, I knew I
-ought to be sorry when he was going away—and I knew well that he would
-see someone that he ought not to see while he is away—but I did not feel
-sorry, I am glad!”
-
-“_Glad?_” I said, assuming as shocked a tone as I
-could—(sinner—liar—when I was transported with joy and relief!). “Surely
-not _glad_?”
-
-“Yes, _glad_,” she said. “Because I should be glad if everyone would go
-and leave me alone—with you.”
-
-“This is foolish,” I said, chidingly. “You will know better when you
-have seen more of me.”
-
-Then I changed the conversation to the subject of her dreams. We were
-nearing the spot where I meant to test her identity.
-
-There was a narrow path between clumps of laurels. This was the path I
-had traversed alone in my dream years ago—when I emerged into the open I
-had seen this very woman—this woman I loved—seated on the stone seat
-opposite to me.
-
-Now—she was by my side. As we came across the grass plat I summoned all
-my courage. I did not know whether I wished to be convinced that she was
-Lilia—or that she was not. I only felt abject fear—for the first time in
-my life I was an entire coward: I sickened, I was in a cold sweat.
-
-“Will you sit here a minute?” I asked. “I want to see what time it is. I
-must strike a match under the bushes—there is too much wind here.”
-
-I slipped away, and going round came slowly into the moonlight opposite
-to her. Ah! it was terrible to see her seated there, then to see her
-spring up and come to me—for once in my life, to experience a realised
-dream.
-
-“Let us go,” she said, passionately—I had never seen her so disturbed.
-“I remember—come—!”
-
-I accompanied her, passively. She went along the path between the
-laurels, then, after but a moment’s hesitation, she took the path
-leading to the terrace.
-
-A few swift steps and she turned back to see if I followed.
-
-“Come!” she said, in a voice of pain. “Come!”
-
-Then, after one more poise—like a bird before it takes flight—she
-hurried up the slope and was at the end of the terrace. The wide, grassy
-avenue was before us.
-
-I joined her. It was a long time since I had visited the spot. The long
-grass was rank and weedy, the beds were unkempt—I could see that much in
-this light. The scene by moonlight, that light which chastens and
-beautifies, was desolate—what would it be by the light of day?
-
-The shame that I had neglected this favourite resort of Lilia’s
-partially levelled emotions, brought me back in some degree to ordinary
-common sense. But my practical mood did not last long. I followed
-Mercedes across the grass, blaming myself that I had let her come here,
-to a spot which was a disgrace to its proprietor in its neglected
-state—when to my astonishment she flung her arm about the stone fountain
-and turned upon me.
-
-Her face, in the moonlight, looked drawn—I should scarcely have
-recognised her, nor indeed should I have recognised her sweet, dear
-voice.
-
-Oh! what was it she said, in those hard, shrill tones? I was so
-unnerved, I can hardly recall those terrible words.
-
-But she spoke with reproach.
-
-“Where is the water here?” she asked. “There were fish—gold fish, silver
-fish—where are _they_? Where are the _flowers_? There were roses, red
-roses there,” and, pointing to a bed where Sir Roderick by careful
-expenditure had cultivated some hardy rose trees, she fell prone at my
-feet.
-
-I had my token—she knew the place as it was of old, before she had
-awakened in this world.
-
-Perhaps the greatest mystery among these many mysteries is this—I can
-write it all down, just as it happened, calmly, coolly, as I should
-record an exceptional case in medicine.
-
-I took her in my arms and carried her back through the wood into the
-flower garden of the house. She was a dead weight, but I was impervious
-to ordinary impressions. Then I laid her upon a wide wooden bench in the
-Italian garden, and by slow degrees she recovered. Before the clock
-struck ten, she was able to join them all in the drawing-room.
-
-I have a great power over her. I found that when I had sufficiently
-rallied from my emotions to exercise my will, that _willing_ her to be
-her ordinary self (while her hands were in mine and my eyes fixed upon
-her face) “brought her to,” as the nurses say, at once.
-
-This had opened up another aspect of affairs. If I have this power over
-her, may not that possibly be the cause of her liking for me—even of her
-impressions of her dreams? I must investigate, search, leave no stone
-unturned to unearth the truth. Too much is at stake.
-
-Next day, I willed her to be cheerful and happy, and she was so.
-(Another symptom, which I duly recorded.)
-
-I found she had not as perfectly clear a recollection of that terrible
-evening as I have myself. I was thankful for this. I was as commonplace
-as I could possibly be during those days before the prince’s return. I
-took care she should have no time to meditate, and mammy, Lady Forwood,
-and good Lady Boisville helped me. I don’t know what they have thought
-of it all, but they have consciously or unconsciously abetted me with
-that woman’s own gift of tact which is worth a king’s—no, an
-emperor’s—ransom, aye, and far more!
-
-The prince returned, unexpectedly, one rainy afternoon. He came in a
-station fly. When he entered the hall we men were playing billiards.
-
-I fancied he looked sulky, but during the short time that followed
-before the general departure he was amiability itself, and has declared
-his intention of remaining in England the winter, also to look out for a
-country house near here for the——
-
- * * * * *
-
-Dr. Paull was seated in his library a misty autumn morning writing the
-above, when a tap at his door disturbed him.
-
-The servant brought him a telegram:
-
- “_Come at once to London. This evening at half-past nine I will be at
- your house_.
-
- “_Mercedes._”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVI.
- MIZPAH.
-
-
-What was there in that telegram to cause Hugh Paull misgiving?
-
-Ostensibly, but little. Many things could have occurred, simple in
-themselves, to give Mercedes an excuse to summon him. That she would
-take advantage of an excuse to shorten their separation, he well knew.
-As he turned over and re-read the telegram, he chided himself for the
-chill sense of impending trouble which was unnerving him; but his
-efforts came to nothing. He started for London at once, in irrepressible
-perturbation of mind.
-
-Arrived home, the commonplace aspect of the familiar old house somewhat
-relieved him of his mental oppression. The housekeeper had had notice of
-his return in a week or ten days, and charwomen were about; there was a
-clatter of pails and the homely sound of busy brooms and
-scrubbing-brushes.
-
-He spent the hours till Mercedes should arrive in superintending the
-arrangement of the library, and pretending to dine. His study lamp
-smoked. Just as he and the housekeeper had succeeded in coaxing it to
-burn with its wonted urbanity, one quarter chimed from the nearest
-church clock-tower.
-
-A quarter-past nine! In a quarter-of-an-hour _she_ would be here—and the
-big, dingy room seemed to him full of the ill-savoured fumes of lamp
-oil. He dismissed the housekeeper, who knew he expected a patient, and
-threw open the windows.
-
-It was a clear night. The stars shone, brilliant specks in the
-dark-blue. He leaned out of the window, listening for the roll of
-wheels—for that peal of the hall bell which he longed for, yet dreaded.
-He would always long for her presence with an intense longing: yet this
-longing would be tempered by the dread that he would betray himself in
-some unguarded moment, would betray the passionate character of his
-love.
-
-He mentally forecast the interview. Leaning out in the sharpened
-autumnal air, he braced himself to endure: to keep himself at a
-completely respectful distance from the woman whose soul he believed to
-be the soul of his lost wife, and part of his own soul, but whose
-physical being belonged to the lazy voluptuary, the Prince Andriocchi.
-
-“It is hard,” he told himself. “Oh, God! Thou alone knowest _how_ hard!”
-
-The wild apostrophe brought a calm, a sudden peace—as if indeed his
-guardian angel had laid its holy hand upon his heated head; and as he
-took courage from the sense of occult help in his sore need, the clock
-slowly, warningly—it seemed to him with some knowledge of what was to
-come—chimed the half-hour.
-
-Would she come? What was it all about? Perhaps the next few minutes’
-silence and suspense were the worst of his life. Often afterwards,
-looking back into his past with a shudder, he thought so.
-
-Yet the ring of the bell, sudden, impetuous, when it did come, was
-horrible. The sound of _her_ voice, the slow footsteps along the hall—he
-clenched his hands as he listened, and cold drops of sweat were on his
-brow.
-
-He went slowly to the door and opened it—for his limbs were stiff and
-heavy, disobedient to his will. Had he expected to see her also
-unnerved, trembling? He did not know—but the calm with which she entered
-was a shock to him.
-
-“Please—shut—lock the door,” she said quietly, but with a desperate
-calm—imperiously, but in a tone of voice in which command was mingled
-with respect. “I have come,” she said, throwing aside her cloak and
-seating herself by the table, “to tell you, my friend, what will cause
-you grief, what will make you angry. But I must tell you, for your sake,
-and for mine.”
-
-He stood, facing her, wondering at the extraordinary change in her, in
-her whole outward self. Her lovely face was pale and delicately
-beautiful as ever; but there was a new sternness about her sweet mouth,
-a look of absolute will in her dark, lustrous eyes which completely
-altered her. The clinging, tender girl had given place to the determined
-woman.
-
-“What—is it?” he asked. “What has happened?”
-
-“I—will tell you,” she began, evidently nerving herself for some
-disclosure, “just as it happened. You know that the prince”—(a look of
-pain contracted her features, and she blushed slightly as she said the
-word)—“my husband—liked the Pinewood. You know”—(she stopped and looked
-pleadingly up into his face)—“he liked you, liked our—friendship.”
-
-Some warning of what was to come arose in his mind. Ah! at last some
-good-natured friend—some meddler—had stepped in between him and his
-long-waited-for happiness in life.
-
-“Go on,” he said, in a hard tone, turning away from her.
-
-“The prince knows you, and he knows me,” she went on, proudly. “Well, I
-must tell you what happened. Last night, we—the prince, the count, and
-myself—we went to the new play. The prince did not like it, and went
-away to his club. I was sitting, not talking, the count was silent also,
-when I heard the voices of men (it was between the acts) in the next
-box. They spoke of you—and of me. What they said, was an infamy. Ah! do
-not look so, monsieur. You and I, we have a champion. The count, he did
-hear it also, and his anger against these men was great. He at once took
-me away down the staircase, procured my carriage, and I came back to my
-house. He told me he would avenge my honour—your honour. At eleven
-o’clock he came in. He told me he had challenged the man who said that
-infamy; that to-day they would fight, not here in England, but in
-France; and he said good-bye.... This” (she drew a case from her bosom),
-“this is the name of the man who separates us, monsieur, for I also have
-come to say good-bye. To-morrow I go home with the prince to Spain.”
-
-It was so abrupt, her calm yet confused statements were so unexpected,
-that for a moment Hugh’s head swam, he had to steady himself by placing
-his hand on the back of a chair. Then he took a slip of paper that she
-held out to him, and holding it near the lamp, saw in her handwriting—
-
- “_Colonel Roderick Pym._”
-
-As he gazed upon that familiar, distasteful name, he seemed to have
-known all along that this must come, this moment, this interview; that
-this was what had cast a shadow on their relations, and that this was
-_the end_.
-
-“Once,” he said, half to himself, half to her—it seemed to him as if her
-mind ought to recognise his thoughts without the outward expression of
-words,—“once I robbed this man of someone he loved; and now he robs me
-of _you_!”
-
-As he sighed out that last word he recollected. Perhaps at that moment
-Roderick Pym was dead, his revenge had cost him his life; for the count
-would be a dangerous antagonist, he was a skilled swordsman and a dead
-shot.
-
-“How, when do they fight?” he asked breathlessly, with the instinct to
-stay that duel at any cost.
-
-“Fight!” she spoke almost indignantly. “Do you think I would let the
-good count kill himself for me—even for _you_?” Tears stood in her eyes.
-“I knelt and prayed him,” she said. “I begged him, but he would not hear
-me. He said: ‘Would you have me be a coward?’ Then at last he said to
-me: ‘If you will promise me that to-morrow you will go home to Spain
-with the prince, and will never see or speak to _him_ again, I too will
-go with you, and will sacrifice my _honneur_.’” She paused and hung her
-head. “So, as I have promised, I have come to say good-bye,” she
-faltered.
-
-Yes; he had known this all along, he felt he had. This was the end—the
-end of a promised passionate joy—the end of delights of eye and ear—of
-heart, soul, mind, body—all!
-
-“Yes,” he said, meekly bowing his head, “I understand. We part; it is
-all over for ever.”
-
-“Oh no!” she cried, with sudden life, and her face was alight with love
-and hope, “only for here! You know—who should know better than you?—how
-short is this life, you who always see the dead and dying! Is it death,
-that which we call death?” she asked him, passionately. “Do you think
-it? Do you not rather think that _this_ is dying, this living in a place
-where you must not love, where people hate and torture each other, and
-happiness cannot be, for no one will let another one be happy?”
-
-He went to her and took her slender, cold hands in his—for the last
-time.
-
-“It does not matter,” he said, bitterly, yet feeling, with a strange
-joy, that this sacrifice of love ennobled their love, raised it from a
-common thing to divinity. “No one can separate us after death, if God
-wills us to be soul to soul—one for ever.”
-
-A strange expression flitted across her face. For one instant it seemed
-to him that this was not Mercedes, but Lilia. Then came the memory of
-that awful death-bed, when Lilia defied the will of her Creator, and
-would have forced him, her husband, to die with her, and he contrasted
-that hour of rebellion with this hour of humble renunciation.
-
-“This is _her soul_,” he thought, in mingled awe and gratitude.
-“Roderick would have caused our misery; instead, he has saved us from an
-evil life together for here, in this painful world, to be united in
-eternity.”
-
-This was his actual death, he felt, as he silently gazed into her eyes,
-this parting. Physical death, after this, would be nothing—would,
-indeed, be welcome.
-
-For a moment he thought to take her, just this once, into his arms: to
-let her heart beat against his breast, to feel her lips upon his mouth;
-but before the thought was really born in his mind he killed it and
-flung it from him.
-
-“Risk eternity for a moment?” he said to himself. “No!”
-
-He dropped her hands and smiled at her, the smile she might have seen
-with the eyes of her soul upon the face of her angel guardian.
-
-“There is no more for us to say _now_,” he said, “but to pray for each
-other. By-and-by we shall have time to see what this means—this you and
-I being but one soul.”
-
-She rose and kept her eyes steadily fixed upon him. Then she slowly
-walked to the door. How slowly she passed from the room he never knew.
-Their eyes dwelt upon each other, and till she was gone he felt that
-never, even in infinite glory, could they be more really wedded than
-now.
-
-The door was half open. The room was empty, save for himself and the
-shadows. The hall-door was gently shut. He heard the sound of
-carriage-wheels. All was over!
-
-He sat down stupefied. This dead future which loomed blankly before him
-was stupefying—a dense blackness, a hopeless nothingness.
-
-The hours passed. The lamp flickered and went out. Still he sat there
-gazing at vacancy, his mind groping about in this dreary cloud of
-fathomless misery.
-
-He thought nothing tangible, felt neither cold nor fatigue. At last he
-began to wonder vaguely whether this was all that really existed—this
-dull, senseless apathy.
-
-As he began to wonder, his attention was attracted by a brilliant speck
-of light at his feet. Tiny at first, it seemed to grow larger and
-brighter as he looked. A mere pin’s-point of light at first, in a few
-minutes it was a disc of some size. Then he saw an object he knew well—a
-steel urn at the end of his library fender.
-
-With a flush of pain, he was alive again; alive, conscious of anguish,
-of separation from her, his darling, his adored. He seemed to see her
-retreating from him, steadily, hopelessly.
-
-With a cry, he sprang up. That light was a mocking sunbeam. He saw it
-now, creeping in between the shutters. He went to the window, he flung
-open the shutters and defied the day, or would have defied it.
-
-But he was face to face with the glory of the sunrise. The whole sky was
-golden, and crimson clouds floated upward, stately attendants upon the
-magnificence of the young day. Soft, white rounded masses were like
-smiles upon the clear blue sky: all meant life and hope and love.
-
-And as he gazed he felt abashed at his own littleness. What was he but a
-speck upon the bosom of the earth? That little steel urn was greater in
-the shine of the world’s sun than was he in the Light that streams from
-the Eternal.
-
-“I must reach it,” he told himself. “I must be more than a speck of
-dust. What is suffering, what is dull commonplace, but the ladder by
-which we climb to immortality?”
-
-That was his crucial hour, the bridge over which he passed from unrest
-to peace.
-
-None who knew him ever guessed the secret motives of his afterlife. They
-thought him more energetic, larger-minded, gentler, and more
-sympathetic. But he was envied as a man who seemed to have fathomed the
-mystery of “peace on earth.”
-
-He died suddenly. A month before his death he received a letter from a
-Spanish priest, who informed him of the death of the Princess
-Andriocchi, and enclosed him a sealed envelope addressed to him in
-Mercedes’ handwriting. He recognised the writing at once, though in
-character it was larger and firmer.
-
-It contained a slip of paper, on which was inscribed one word—“_Come!_”
-
-That word seemed to pierce his heart like an arrow. From that day his
-strength waned, his health failed. His household were hardly astonished
-when, one morning, he was found sitting in his chair by the library
-window, the early sunlight hovering about his dead, smiling face.
-
-He passed away, smiling—a joyful smile that none had ever seen upon his
-face before.
-
-
- THE END.
-
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-
-
-
-
- TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES
-
-
- 1. P. 240, changed “If tell Helven this,” to “If I tell Helven this”.
- 2. Silently corrected obvious typographical errors and variations in
- spelling.
- 3. Retained archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings as printed.
- 4. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.
-
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