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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of Ninth Avenue, by Maxwell Bodenheim
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: Ninth Avenue
-
-Author: Maxwell Bodenheim
-
-Release Date: February 10, 2022 [eBook #67372]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: Steve Mattern, David E. Brown, and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NINTH AVENUE ***
-
-
-
-
-
-NINTH AVENUE
-
-
-
-
- ·NINTH·
- AVENUE
-
- _By_
- MAXWELL
- BODENHEIM
-
- [Illustration]
-
- _New York_
- BONI & LIVERIGHT
- 1926
-
-
-
-
- COPYRIGHT 1926 :: BY
- BONI & LIVERIGHT, INC.
- PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES
-
- [Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-PART ONE
-
-
-
-
-NINTH AVENUE
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-
-When the light of morning touches the buildings and pavements of a
-city, it always seems to borrow their hardness and to lose in some
-degree its quality of flowing detachment. The Sunday morning that
-fell upon Ninth Avenue, New York City, gave you a sense of invisible
-stiffness in its very air. The buildings, with their smudged, flat
-fronts and tops, presented the impression of huge warehouses stretching
-down both sides of the street--the appearance of holding commodities
-rather than human beings. Most of them were five or six stories in
-height, and their curtained, oblong windows and the bright, tawdry
-shops at their base had an oddly lifeless aspect, in spite of the
-sounds and animations which occurred within and around them. The iron
-elevated-railroad structure that extended down the street, with all of
-its roar and rush of trains, could not destroy the spirit of silent
-inertia that lurked within the scene.
-
-Blanche Palmer stood in front of a bureau, in one of the apartments
-that lined the street, and combed her dark red, bobbed hair, as
-though it were a sacred and perilous performance. She was only
-partially dressed, and the mild light that came in through a rear
-window from the courtyard brought an extra vividness to her semiplump
-arms, abruptly rounded shoulders and moderately swelling bosom.
-Their freshness stood out, a little forlorn and challenging, in the
-disordered room with its half drab and half gaudy arrangements.
-The brass bed, the magazine-posters of pretty women against the
-pink-flowered wallpaper, the red plush chair with the most infinitely
-smug of shapes, the white chintz, half-dirty curtain and dark green
-shade at the window--all of them seemed to be meanly contending against
-the youth and life of her body.
-
-She was fairly tall, with most of the weight of her body centered below
-her waist and with an incongruously small torso, but this effect was
-not as clumsy as it might have been, since it was relieved by a bold
-approach to symmetry. Something of a child and an amazon met in her
-body. Her face was not pretty if you examined each of its features
-separately--the overwide lips, the nose tilting out too suddenly at the
-tip, and the overstraight, shaved eyebrows--but the whole of it had a
-piquant and enticing irregularity, and it was redeemed by her large,
-deeply set, bluish-gray eyes and the fine smoothness of her cream-white
-skin.
-
-Her twenty years of life had given her a self-consciousness, and a
-hasty worldly wisdom, and a slightly complacent sexual alertness, and
-these three qualities blended into the customary expressions on her
-face. Yet at odd moments it showed questioning and dissatisfied shades.
-She was just a little more frank and wondering than the other girls in
-her environment--just a little distressed and seeking beneath all of
-the affected wrigglings, and ignorances, and small, cruel impulses that
-ruled her heart and mind. As she stood before the bureau, the treble of
-a child’s voice emerged from the babble of sounds in the surrounding
-apartments, lifting the words: “Well, it ain’t gonna rain no mo-ore,
-it ain’t gonna rain no mo-ore; how in the heck can I wash my neck when
-it ain’t gonna rain no mo-ore.” Blanche took up the song, half humming
-it as she slipped on an old, black, sleeveless evening gown which she
-still kept to wear about the apartment when visitors were not present
-or expected. It had a big, scarlet satine flower sewed at the side of
-the waist and was extremely low-necked and gave her a near-courtesan
-touch, increased by the over-thick rouge and lipstick on her face. She
-could not dispense with cosmetics, even before her family, because
-they were too inherently a part of the shaky sexual pride within her,
-which always needed to be glossed and protected because it had been
-frequently hurt and discountenanced in competitions and comparisons
-with the other girls in her life.
-
-She stepped down the dark hallway and entered the living-room, where
-her family sat and pored over the Sunday papers. The hour was verging
-on noon, and the debris and confusion of a past breakfast stood on the
-square, uncovered table in the middle of the room. Blanche eyed it
-peevishly.
-
-“Oh, for Gawd’s sake, what a dump,” she said. “How’m I going to sit
-down with gue and coffee all over the chairs?”
-
-“Too bad about you,” her brother, Harry, answered, with an amiable jeer
-in his voice. “Too bad. We’ll move up on the Drive an’ get a lotta
-servunts for you, huh?”
-
-“Sure, go ahead, but as long’s we’re not there yet you c’n move your
-big legs and help clean off the table,” she replied.
-
-“Whatsamatter, you parulyzed?” he asked, still genial as he rose and
-picked up some of the dishes.
-
-Her sister Mabel and her oldest brother, Philip, joined in the slangy,
-waggish repartee as Blanche went to the kitchen and came back with
-a cup of coffee and a fried egg. The father chortled behind the
-comic-section of one of the papers, oblivious to this usual Sunday
-morning “kidding-match,” and the mother was busy in the kitchen.
-Harry Palmer, known to the bantam-class of the prize-fighting ring as
-Battling Murphy, was a youth of twenty-two, with a short body whose
-shoulders and chest were full, hard lumps, and whose legs were thinly
-crooked but steel-like. His small, black eyes had a dully fixed,
-suspicious, partly dumb and partly cunning look that never left them,
-even in the midst of his greatest smiles and laughters, and his nose
-was shaped like the beginning of a corkscrew, and his thick lips just
-touched each other, with the lower one slightly protruding. His moist
-black hair was brushed backward; his skin was a dark brown with a dab
-of red running through it. The start of a primitive man, forced to
-become tricky and indirect as it escaped from the traps and ways of
-city streets, but still longing for direct blows and curses, showed
-on every inch of him. He was cruel without wit enough to know that
-he was cruel, and in his most lenient and joking moments the little
-imagination and sentiment that he had grew large in its own estimation
-and made him feel that he was as decent and kind as he could be in a
-life where you had to “put it over” the other fellow, or go under.
-
-He prided himself especially on his generous and affectionate attitude
-toward his family. They were the only people who had any actual
-claims on him--his own flesh and blood, yep--but he felt that it was
-necessary to hurt them whenever they objected to his actions, or tried
-to hold him down, or did anything that they should not have done. His
-idea of superiority was not to allow any one to boss him unless it
-contributed to his material gain, and to order people around whenever
-he could. Part of his family-pride was a real emotion and part of it
-was a dogged peace-offering to his more openly selfish and cruel words
-and actions to other people. He looked upon women as creatures made
-for his particular enjoyment, but they alone were able to revive the
-streak of surlily shamefaced tenderness within him, and if they were
-exceptionally good-looking, and besieged by troubles, he wanted to pet
-them and give them money. He intended to avoid marriage until he met a
-pretty girl of his own age, who would refuse to give herself to him,
-and who could hold her own in the rough parryings of conversation, and
-show a practical disposition and a sense of the value of money.
-
-He had fought in preliminary six-round bouts--with erratic
-success--since he was twenty, and he was known to the ring as a
-courageous but unscientific fighter, whose main fault was that he would
-not train rigorously for his encounters. On the side he was associated
-with a gang of bootleggers, in the position of a guard who often went
-with them to protect their deliveries, receiving a small share of the
-profits. The Palmer family was mainly dependent on his support, since
-his other brothers and sisters did little more than pay their own
-expenses, and his earnings for the past two years had really lifted
-them to a point where they could have deserted their upper-proletarian
-life. His parents preferred the Ninth Avenue apartment and its
-surroundings, because it had been stamped into their spirits for years,
-and because they liked the boisterous freedoms, the lack of etiquette,
-and the semiunderworld plainness of their environment. He and his
-brothers and sisters would not have been averse to moving to “a sweller
-joint,” but the desire was not yet sufficiently deep to stir them to
-any action.
-
-His older brother, Philip, who was twenty-five, was looked upon as the
-most “high-toned” member of the family. Philip worked in a neighboring
-drug store and studied at night to become a pharmacist, and had had two
-years of a high-school education. He was a tall man of much less sturdy
-physique than his brother, and he dressed in the manner of a lower
-dandy, with much fussing over cravats, shirts and suits of clothes. He
-had a weak face beneath his curly brown hair--the face of a sneaking
-philanderer, invaded a bit by kindly impulses which he tried to
-suppress but which often led to his undoing. His brown, bulging eyes,
-soft mouth that tried to be hard, and tilting out nose inherited from
-his mother--these features disputed the sneering nonchalance with which
-he strove to become one with the life around him. He was not naturally
-studious, but his brain was cautious enough to realize that he was not
-adapted for the more arduously physical tasks in life, and that he
-would have to learn--at any cost--some sheltering and fairly profitable
-profession. For this reason he applied himself to absorbing the details
-of pharmacy, with much laboring and many secret groans.
-
-His sister Mabel was the adored young coquette of the family. They
-regarded Blanche as a silly, fluctuating, and slightly queer person in
-comparison to her sister, for Blanche made no serious effort “to play”
-men for their money and favors, and often went out with the poorer and
-more ordinary youths of the neighborhood, and revealed, in the opinion
-of her family, a spirit that was too jauntily reckless--too “easy.”
-Mabel, on the other hand, was reckless enough, with her cabaret,
-private club and automobile parties, but the recklessness was more a
-patent exuberance used to cover up an excellent canniness. Her people
-had the feeling that she could not be taken advantage of, and that she
-would play the game carefully until she landed a wealthy man willing
-to marry her. Physically, she was a girl of eighteen years, with her
-body in that fetching state of transition between budding and maturity;
-mentally, she was twelve years old; and emotionally, she was a woman
-of fifty. Girls of her kind, whose environment has been split between
-their homes in an almost slummy district and the falsetto battle of
-Broadway, become sensually wise overnight. At eighteen, Mabel was
-literally stuffed with tricks, and informations, and cool wiles picked
-up on streets and in cabarets, and her mind merely functioned as an
-assistant in this process. At the very bottom she was sentimental and
-fearful, but only an actually dire predicament could have extracted
-these qualities--an unexpected danger or calamity. She was close to
-medium height, with a slenderness made charming by an unusually full
-bosom, and a pale brown skin that had a sheen upon it like that on the
-surface of a pond, and black, bobbed hair that was curled for three or
-four days after each visit to the beauty parlor. Her little nose was
-almost straight, with hardly a trace of the Palmer curve, and her lips
-were loosely parted and petite, and her big, black eyes assumed the
-most vacantly innocent of stares, unless she was angry, when the lids
-half closed between dancing sparks.
-
-Her father, William Palmer, had worked as a bartender, during the
-days when his country had not yet established a new and widespread
-class of criminals, and he had once owned a small saloon, afterwards
-lost through his dice and poker-playing lusts. After the advent of
-prohibition, he had branched out as a bootlegger, in a very modest way,
-but he lacked the vigor and acumen necessary to such an occupation--he
-was now a man of fifty-five--and the arrest of some of his cronies had
-frightened him into giving up his illegal trade. Then he became the
-ostensible manager of his prize-fighting son, and now he did little
-more than hang around the gymnasiums where his son trained, dicker for
-a few minutes with the owners of boxing clubs, loaf around his home,
-and sit in all-night drinking and poker parties. He still had the
-remains of a once powerful body, in spite of his lowered shoulders and
-grayish-black hair slowly turning to baldness, and he was one of those
-men who hold out against dissipation with an inhuman tenacity, until
-near seventy, when their hearts or stomachs abruptly collapse, and they
-die. He was of average height and always tried to carry himself with
-a great, chipper bluff at youthful spryness. Upon his brown face the
-twisted nose which he had given to his son, Harry, stood above broad
-and heavy lips, and there was a piggish fixity to his often bloodshot
-eyes that were too little for the ample size of his head.
-
-He was a man who lived in two worlds at the same time--that of verbal
-bluffing, uttered to soothe and shun the sore spots and cruel resolves
-in his nature, and that one in which he endlessly schemed for money
-and ease, and was willing to commit any legal or well-hidden crime to
-procure them. He would have grown wrathful if you had accused him of
-being dishonest, and his rage would have been quite sincere. He had
-practiced self-deception for such a long time that each part of him
-was genuinely blind to the tactics and purposes of the other part. His
-children were, to him, the great, living boast with which he could
-dismiss the world’s and his own allegations of failure. “I never got
-what I wanted but I’ll be damned if they don’t,” he sometimes muttered
-to himself, and the excuse that he gave himself was that their better
-advantages, and his own guidance, would enable them to win out in the
-virtues which he had transplanted within them. He had lost his own
-parents at an early age and had been raised in a public institution,
-and had been forced to work hard when he was not yet fifteen, and he
-doted on citing these beginnings as an explanation for all of his
-material failures. He had punished and commanded his children when
-they were still in knee trousers and short skirts--often shouting at
-them and beating them about the legs--and he had struggled outragedly
-against their gradual assumption of authority and independence, but
-his delight in remaining their master had finally subsided to an
-even stronger pleasure--that of a man who was watching the masterful
-qualities which his children had derived from him.
-
-“They get it honest, all right,” he had once said to himself, after
-a squabble in which his son Harry, then seventeen, had threatened to
-knock him out. “I never took any sass from anybody myself, you bet I
-didn’t. They’ll never learn to fight for themselves ’f I take all the
-spunk and pep outa them.”
-
-Now he clung to the gruff pose of ordering them about, but never really
-cared when they disregarded most of his words, or talked back to him,
-as long as the boys kept out of arrest and the girls did not seem to
-be openly or particularly unvirtuous. He suspected that his daughters
-had probably “gone the limit” with one or two men whom they knew, but
-the absence of feminine virtue to him was not a matter for agitation
-unless it was persistent, complete and loudly flaunted. He wanted
-his daughters to be “wise” and to end up in decent marriages, but he
-was not averse to their “cutting up” a bit, as long as they kept it
-well hidden. His favorite children were Harry and Mabel and he never
-overlooked any chance to flatter and serve them in some manner.
-
-His wife, Kate, was the least aggressive member of the family, and
-her children, Philip and Blanche, held in a much-qualified way many
-of her characteristics. Two years younger than her husband, she was
-a lean and not oversturdy woman whose head rose only an inch above
-his shoulders. She had been a servant girl just migrated from Ireland
-when he--a bartender in the block in which she lived--had married her
-because of his inability to seduce her in spite of her meek worship
-of him, and because her turn of figure and her tart, fresh face had
-appealed to him. She had toiled most of her life, with only a short
-period of intermission before the birth of her first child, and she
-had frequently taken his drunken blows and his palpable faithlessness
-after the first two years of their marriage, and they had often lived
-in the dirtiest and most hellish of poverties when his gambling losses
-had reduced them to pennilessness, but something like a mangled dream
-had never left her spirit--not plaintive, and not precisely wistful,
-but more the quietness of a peasant girl never quite living in her
-surroundings and always longing for the strong peace of village and
-hill. The dream was stupid, maligned, numb--but still it persisted. She
-had little courage, and yet a stubborn flare of it often shot out when
-she was driven into a corner, and her main reliances were obstinacy and
-endurance. Unlike her husband, she did not share the bragging illusions
-which he had concerning their children, and she felt that her sons and
-daughters were imperfect, overwild and far too selfish, and she cared
-for them more because life had deprived her of all other opportunities
-for compensation. She favored Blanche most because Blanche seemed to
-her to be more of a reproduction of what she, the mother, had been in
-her own girlhood. It was not that she had any keen insight into her
-daughter’s character and needs--it was only the very cloudy but warm
-feeling that Blanche was more honest and “fine” than the rest of her
-children. Mrs. Palmer had long since ceased to love her husband, or
-to respect anything about him except his physical strength and his
-masculine braveries, but she had fallen into a rut of obedience to him,
-from which she lacked even the desire to extricate herself, and she
-preserved an attitude of bare affection, to impress her children and
-to keep him in good humor whenever she could. She had rigid notions
-concerning honesty and morality not held by the rest of her family,
-and she often weakly complained against their “looseness” and accepted
-it only because she could not change it. Below her still abundant,
-grayish-red hair, her face was like the seamed and puffed and violated
-copy of Blanche’s countenance, with much the same eyes, lips and nose,
-but without the hopeful smiles and uncertain questions on the other’s
-face.
-
-As the family gathered in the living-room on this Sunday noon,
-chaffing and listening to the latest fox-trot and waltz records from
-the slightly nasal phonograph that stood on a shaky table in a corner
-of the room, and reading the papers with the jealous, spellbound
-attention with which obscure people greet the notorieties and “stunts”
-of other men and women, the mother still worked in the kitchen,
-cleaning the breakfast dishes and preparing the five o’clock Sunday
-dinner. Kate Palmer usually refused to allow her girls to help her
-with the housework, for more or less selfish reasons, because of her
-pitiful pride in the fact that she could manage things herself--the
-elderly housewife, to whom work had become an only distraction and
-importance--and because she really dreaded the possibility of their
-attractive, feminine hands becoming “chapped and ugly-like.” On
-Sundays the Palmers, in varying degrees, were always in their best
-mood. They had all slept later than on other days, and the Sabbath-day
-was associated in their spirits with “sorta making up for what you
-pulled off during the week”--the faint, uncomprehended return of
-conscience and forgotten religious precepts--and with more peaceful
-forms of enjoyment. Early every Sunday morning the mother went to
-a Presbyterian church on the outskirts of their neighborhood, and
-sometimes her husband or one of her daughters would accompany her,
-both of them stiffly empty and ill-at-ease. If you had asked all of
-the Palmers whether they believed in God and in Christianity, they
-would instantly have replied in the affirmative, after giving you
-a wondering, suspicious look, and yet their belief was merely the
-snubbed but never-quite-relinquished shield which their fears became
-conscious of at rare and odd moments. In case you died, you wanted to
-know that you were on the right side of things and in line for some
-possible reward--this was the only shape that religion had to them.
-Its exhortations and restrictions were jokes that could not possibly
-survive in the sordidness, and strain, and sensual longing of your
-life--you knew that at the bottom but you never admitted it to yourself
-on the top. Again, there was a consolation, dim and yet imperative, in
-feeling that a vast, hazy, grand Father was controlling their days,
-and in moments of sore need, or danger, or pain, they would have
-instinctively and even beseechingly called out His name.
-
-When the papers were exhausted, the conversation of the Palmers became
-more steady and personal.
-
-“Guess you’re goin’ out to-night with that Jew-kike uh yours,” said
-Harry, trying to get a rise out of Blanche. “Can’t you pick out
-somethin’ better than a Christ-killer, huh?”
-
-“What’s it to you?” she asked, coolly. “Show you a good-looking Jewish
-girl and you’ll fall all over yourself trying to date her up. I know
-you.”
-
-“Sure, but I’d just play her for what I could get,” answered Harry.
-“I’ve got a notion you’re kinda sweet on that Loo-ee Rosenberg, ’r
-whatever his name is.”
-
-“Well, she’d better not be,” said the father, with a scowl. “I don’t
-mind when some kike takes her out for a good time--their jack’s as good
-as any other guy’s--but I’m not lettin’ any Jews get into this family.”
-
-Blanche gave them a scornful smile. She was far from being in love with
-Rosenberg, and the matter was neither pressing nor irritating, but she
-felt a general defiance against their masculine habit of laying down
-the law to women.
-
-“I guess I’m old enough to tend my own business, pa,” she said.
-
-“Oh, you are, huh,” answered her father. “Well, maybe we’ll see about
-that.”
-
-“Aw, I know what’s eating both of you,” said Mabel, in her
-expressionless, thinly liquid voice. “You’re sore ’cause Harry lost to
-a Jew in that fight he had up in Harlem. Kid Goldman, that’s the one.
-When you going to beat him up, Harry?”
-
-“I’ll get him, I’ll get him, don’t worry,” her brother answered,
-frowning as he remembered the affront to his vanity. “I was outa
-condition that night, and my left wasn’t workin’ good, that’s all.
-Wait’ll I get him in the ring again.”
-
-“You know what I’ve always told you--you got the makin’s of a champion
-’f you’ll only get down to business,” said his father. “You’re trailin’
-around too much with that bootleggin’ gang uh yours. No fighter ever
-got to the top with a bottle in his hand, I’m tellin’ you.”
-
-“G’wan, you know damn well I’m down to the gym five days a week,”
-answered Harry, who realized the truth of his father’s words, but
-wanted to minimize it with his own reply. “An’ what’s more, I don’t see
-any of you turnin’ down that fifty they slip me ev’ry Monday. Money
-don’t lay around on the street--you got to get it any place you can.”
-
-“Well, I ain’t any too anxious ’bout hearin’ the cops knockin’ on this
-door some day,” his father responded, peevishly.
-
-“Go ahead, drink your fool self to death--who cares,” said Mabel, who
-had become petulant at the thought of the grand style in which they
-could all live if her brother would only rise to the head of his class.
-“You’ve got plenty of muscle but no sense, that’s the trouble with you.”
-
-“Say, how many times ’ve you seen me drunk, how many?” Harry asked,
-beginning to be angry at this exposure of his weakest trait. “Ev’ry one
-in this joint’s always lappin’ up all I bring home, an’ I never touch
-it myself. ’F I do go on a jag once’n a while it’s my business. You
-can’t get up in the fight game unless you’re on the inside--there’s too
-many big crooks higher up fixin’ things.”
-
-“I don’t believe it--you’re just looking for a way out,” said Blanche,
-to whom Harry was a generous but conceited brother--a strong, vicious
-baby who imagined himself to be a model of shrewdness. At the bottom
-she disliked his bulldozing, prying ways, but her dislike was not yet
-strong enough to overcome the more enforced feelings of gratitude and
-blood-ties within her heart. Harry always suspected that Blanche was
-the one member of his family not impressed by his prowess and his
-knowledge of the world, and he never gave up his efforts to increase
-her respect, with all the argument and repartee at his command.
-
-“I am, huh,” he said, answering her last remark. “What do you know
-about it? I suppose you get all that info’ uh yours punchin’ the cash
-register down at the cafeteria. The only way you’re wise is with your
-mouth. That middle-weight champ fight down at the Terrace was fixed up
-a week ago and I’ve got it straight. Just watch the papers tuhmorrow
-night.”
-
-“Aw, I’ve heard a lotta roomors goin’ around, but that’s hot air,”
-said his father. “Garvey’d be a damn fool to sell his title for any
-amount--I don’t care ’fit’s one hundred thousan’. He ain’t had it a
-year yet, an’ there’s plenty uh holes left in the meal-ticket.”
-
-“Listen to somethin’, will yuh,” answered Harry, who really knew what
-he was talking about in this matter. “Garvey’s gonna give up the title
-now and then win it back in a return bout. Lose it on a foul an’ raise
-a big holler--that’s the scheme. Young Anderson’ll keep it f’r a year
-’r so, an’ make a pile of dough cleanin’ up all the suckers in the
-sticks. With the movie stuff an’ the easy pickin’s he’ll rake in three
-times ’s much as his manager give Garvey’s tuh fix it all up. I got it
-from a guy who was there when they all talked it over, only I can’t say
-his name ’cause I’d get my bean drilled through ’f they ever found out
-I told.”
-
-“Are you kiddin’ me?” demanded his father.
-
-“I hope to croak if I am!”
-
-“Oh, boy, watch me put thirty dollars on that fight,” cried Philip, who
-had been sitting beside his father and listening avidly.
-
-“Well, go slow, go slow,” advised his father. “I know Harry wouldn’t
-give us a bum stir, but them agreements ’r’ often bungled up ’r
-double-crossed at the last minnit.”
-
-The men began a discussion of prize-fighting conditions in general,
-with much vehemence and a comical contrast of naive and foxy opinions,
-and the two girls brought out manicure-sets of flashy celluloid,
-and fiddled with their nails. Something that was not depression but
-unobtrusively akin to it, stirred inside of Blanche. She had felt it
-at times before and had never been able to fathom it beyond her sense
-that life was too underhanded, and that she didn’t like this aspect of
-it. As she listened to the men, with their endless recitals of frauds
-and machinations, the little weight moved within her breast. Fake,
-fake, fake--that was all you ever heard. Wasn’t there anything honest
-and good in the world? It sure didn’t look like there was, most of the
-time. Oh, well, why bother so much about it? You could never get along
-in this world unless you “belonged”--unless you were like the things
-around you.
-
-She started to think of Louis Rosenberg, the man with whom she had an
-engagement for the coming night. She didn’t love him, sure not, but
-he wasn’t a bad fellow at that. He seemed to be an honest boy, and
-sometimes he talked about big, fancy things, like why people hated
-each other so much, and why the world wasn’t better than it was, and
-he used a word now and then that he called art--something that made
-people write books and do paintings and statuary, and get wild over
-nothing that any one else could see. He certainly was different from
-most men all right. He kissed her sometimes, but he never tried to “get
-fresh” (getting fresh, to Blanche, was the placing of a man’s hands
-upon any covered part of her body except the arms). Maybe that was why
-she didn’t love him. He was too darn good, and a girl wanted a fellow
-to “try something” now and then, if he was slow about it and didn’t act
-as though he expected her to fall for him (respond to him) immediately.
-Then, when he did try it, she could tell just how much she cared for
-him, and she repulsed him, or accepted him to some extent, according
-to how nervous and glad he made her feel. Well, anyway, there were
-always enough men who tried to make advances to her, and Rosenberg was
-something of a relief.
-
-She met him that night on the corner of Broadway and Forty-second
-Street, where the theater lights clustered like bits of a soul burning
-in oil, and an endless, crawling stream of automobiles and taxicabs hid
-the pavement, and where the tall, rectangular buildings and the suavely
-gaudy shops seemed to be the only unexcited and unsensual objects of
-the scene. Rosenberg scarcely ever called for her at the apartment,
-and when he did he waited outside on the stoop, because Blanche felt
-that she would be “mortified to death” if her father and her brothers
-should choose to act unfriendly toward him, and she didn’t want to
-run the risk of such an occurrence. She was wearing a very thin,
-short-sleeved, georgette dress that extended only two inches below
-her knees and was of dull white with a dark red flower-pattern, and
-semi-transparent, flesh-colored stockings, and brown shoes with high
-heels, and a black felt hat shaped like an upside-down cup, with a red
-bow at the side. Like many girls in her environment, she dressed with a
-combination of unconscious artistry and cheap, over-flashy display.
-
-Rosenberg was a youth of twenty-three, who worked at the receiving desk
-in one of the Public Library branches, and was beginning to think a bit
-too much for his happiness, prodded by the “higher literature” that
-he was reading for the first time. Previous to his Library job he had
-worked as a shoe salesman and had given it up because he had failed
-to see that he was “getting anywhere” and because he wanted to do
-something out of the ordinary but didn’t know quite what it should be.
-He lived with a family of brothers and sisters, and they, together with
-his parents, regarded him as a pleasant “schlemiel,” who was always
-talking about things but never accomplishing anything, though they were
-willing to let him alone as long as he worked and supported himself.
-He had met Blanche at the cafeteria where she worked as a cashier on
-weekdays, through the expedient of opening a gradual conversation with
-her as he paid his check each noon. Finally he had grown bold enough
-to ask if he could “take her out” and she had assented because she had
-liked the diffident style in which his request was worded.
-
-He was tall and narrow-shouldered, but he was wiry and his arms were
-not unmuscular. His light brown face, with its hooked nose, dark,
-large-lidded eyes, and thin mouth, often had the look of a puzzled
-dreamer, bowing to practical barriers but still trying, half-heartedly,
-to peer beyond them. In his attire he wavered between negligence and
-neatness, his tastes running to dark suits and loose collars and
-brightly striped shirts, and his leading vanity was his wavy black
-hair, which he often combed for ten minutes at a stretch.
-
-Since the hour was only eight o’clock--still too early for them to
-visit the lower Broadway dance-hall which they frequented--Blanche
-and Rosenberg walked over to Bryant Park and sat on one of the
-wooden-iron benches along the cement walk and looking out on the
-orderly, clipped levels of grass. The late spring night, with its
-warm air that had the barest threat of coolness in it, and its
-cloudless sky dotted with stars and a moon at which you could glance
-now and then with the feeling that they were pretty and a bit
-mystifying, and the more immediate lights around you, with their
-warm, come-on-and-see-what’s-under-me winks, and all the sounds of
-pleasure-seeking traffic--these things brought Blanche a light-hearted,
-knowing mood. She was a girl, young and rather handsome, and there was
-nothing that she couldn’t make men do if she had only cared enough
-about it.
-
-“Tell you what we’ll do, Lou, we’ll take that ferry ride over to Staten
-Island,” she said. “I love to get out on the water when it’s night.”
-
-“Let’s not and say we did,” he answered, moodily.
-
-“Gee, I never saw a fellow like you,” she replied. “Dance, dance,
-that’s all you care about. Here I know you’re short on money, and
-here I’m giving you a chance to get away with forty cents for the
-night--four thin dimes--and you turn it down.”
-
-“Don’t always rub in how poor I am,” he said, nettled. “’F I was so
-darn crazy about money, like other guys are, I’d get it all right.
-There’s other things I’m interested in--books, and good plays, and
-watching what other people do. They all call me lazy at home, but it
-don’t bother me any. I don’t see that they get so much out of life by
-working their heads off all the time.”
-
-Blanche felt a little scornful and a little inquiring as she listened
-to him. Who ever heard of saying that people shouldn’t work--what would
-become of them if they didn’t? Besides, what did he get out of all his
-reading and this “think-ing” of his? He was a boob in many respects,
-and in a way she was wasting her time with him. She could have been in
-the company of men who could show her an actual good time--high-class
-cabarets and automobile parties, and the best theaters and restaurants.
-Yet, after she went out with these men for a while she always grew
-tired of them. They all got down to what they wanted from her, and
-it became a bald question of taking or rejecting them--you couldn’t
-“string them along” forever--and they all lacked something that she
-was unable to put her finger on--something “classy” and aboveboard and
-decent without being goody-goodish. When she “let them go too far,”
-under the hilarious urge of liquor, she never felt quite right about
-it afterwards. She could never rid herself of the feeling that the
-man had not deserved what he had received and that she had been just
-another girl on his list. Rosenberg was the one man who came nearest
-to fulfilling this mysterious lack, but he was deficient in all of the
-other requisites, and his physical appeal was weak to her.
-
-“Well, you don’t read a book when you dance, do you?” she asked at
-last, desiring to take a mild jab at him. “Gee, but you’re the cat’s
-something. I wish you had more get-up about you.”
-
-“Yeh, it’s too bad I haven’t got a roll,” he answered. “Sometimes I
-b’lieve that’s all you girls think about.”
-
-An anger mounted within her.
-
-“Say, ’f I did, why’d I have to pick you out?” she asked. “You make me
-sick and tired!”
-
-“Aw, don’t get so sore,” he replied. “I’m touchy in one spot, that’s
-all. Let’s talk about something else. I was reading a book called First
-Street the other day--it’s highbrow, you know, but it’s darn popular,
-too. I hear they’ve sold a hundred thousand. It tells all about how
-gossipy-like and narrow-minded and, oh, just small, people are--the
-people that live in those little burgs.... Say, the more I find out
-about this world of ours the less I like it. Why the devil can’t
-people leave each other alone, and do what they want, long’s they’re
-not hurting anybody.”
-
-His last words made Blanche sympathize with him, in spite of the fact
-that, to her, there was an unmanly element in what he said. Real men,
-now, went out and fought with each other, and “stood the gaff” and “got
-what was coming to them” and made people obey them. Still there was too
-darn much bossing in the world, with ev’rybody sticking his finger in
-the other person’s pie. Her family was always nagging at her, and the
-owner of the cafeteria was always telling her what to do--thought he
-owned her for his measly twenty-two a week--and the cop on the corner
-gave you a rotten look if he saw you walking alone late at night ...
-yes, too darn much bossing to suit her.
-
-“What’s that there word, narruh-mindud, ’r something like that--what’s
-it mean?” she asked.
-
-“It means when you don’t see nothing except what’s right in front of
-your eyes,” he answered, delighted at the chance to show his wisdom.
-“That’s what ails most of us, all right. When you’re narrow-minded, you
-see, you want everybody to be like you are and you go right up in the
-air when people don’t act the way you do. That’s what it means.”
-
-“But you’ve got to be like other people ’r else you’ll never get
-anywheres,” she said, uncertainly.
-
-“Well, yes, in lots of things,” he answered, “but just the same you
-can’t be arrested for what’s going on in your head. You c’n have all
-the ideas you want to, ’s long as you don’t pull off any crime, ’r
-bother anybody.”
-
-She liked the queerness of his words, for no discernible reason other
-than that he seemed to be in favor of “standing up for yourself,”
-and not always believing what people told you. Not so bad at that,
-only--try--and--do--it! Oh, well, what did all this have to do with the
-night ahead of them? This funny boy was her escort for the night, and
-she was a desirable woman, and she wished that he would “cut out” all
-of the heavy stuff and make love to her, or pay her some compliments,
-or do something that men did when they were “gone” on a girl.
-
-“Say, you never kill yourself paying any attention to _me_,” she said,
-after a pause. “It’s always them i-i-deeuhs uh yours. Why, I know piles
-uh men that would jump all over themselves just for the chance to sit
-’longside uh me here.”
-
-He had been looking away from her, and now he turned his head, stung,
-and sorrowfully hungry, and much more upset than he dared to confess
-to himself, as he took in the appetizing, fresh sauciness of her
-face, and the suggestive witchcraft of her pent-up breast. There was
-a come-and-get-me-if-you’re-able, and an almost smiling expression
-on her face. Without realizing it, he always made an additional
-effort to talk about “deep things” when he was with her, to escape
-from the unsteadying influence which she had upon his emotions. The
-other girls whom he occasionally took to moving-picture theaters and
-dances, were more or less inviting to him according to the shape of
-their faces--he was fond of very plump cheeks and lips with a large
-fullness to them--and whether they had ample but not too corpulent
-forms--but otherwise he did not differentiate them, except in the
-light of whether they were “good kidders” (brightly loquacious about
-nothing in particular) or unduly silent and tiresome. Blanche, however,
-incited within him a quick-rhythmed trouble and respect which he could
-not explain, outside of his desire to embrace her. She never seemed to
-have much “brains,” but still he felt that there was something to her
-that life hadn’t given her a chance to develop--something honest and
-undismayed.
-
-He had no actual ability at clear thinking, in spite of all of his poor
-little defiances and boldnesses abstracted from this book and that,
-but he did have a questioning, dissatisfied spirit--a spirit prone to
-quick melancholies and even quicker hopes, and always trying to “find
-out what it all meant.” He had the desire to make Blanche worthy of
-him, and to give her the knowledges and bystandish rebukes toward life
-on which he prided himself. He told himself that he was an idealist
-in sexual matters and that he was waiting for a girl who could show
-him a clean, aspiring, beautiful love, free from all coquetries and
-hagglings, and he used the impressive adjectives to serenade his sense
-of sexual frustration. In reality, he was oversexed, and not bold
-enough to capture the girls whom he secretly desired, but that was not
-the whole of it--far beneath him he really did long for a physical
-outlet that would be much less sordid and common than the ones within
-his reach. At rare intervals he would visit some professional woman,
-whose card had been given to him by one of his more rakish friends, and
-go away from her with a relieved but downcast mood.
-
-While he felt that he was in love with Blanche, he didn’t want to be
-too quick about telling her--you had to wait and be sure that some
-other girl, even more alluring, wouldn’t come along--and since she
-didn’t seem to be in love with him, his pride made him silent at the
-thought of a probable rejection. Often, when he kissed her good-night,
-his longing to “go farther” would be close to overpowering him, but at
-this moment she always slipped efficiently out of his arms and said her
-last farewell. To Blanche, kisses of any length were equivalents to
-saying “yes.”
-
-As Rosenberg sat beside Blanche now, after her girlishly taunting
-words, he lost control of himself for the first time, and his hand
-dropped tightly on one of her knees, but she rose instantly from the
-bench. She wasn’t angry at his having become “fresh” because she blamed
-herself for it, but at the same time she didn’t want to encourage him.
-He was a nice enough kid, but somehow when he touched her she didn’t
-get any “kick” out of it.
-
-“Not here, Lou--c’mon, let’s go,” she said, trying to put a look of
-cajoling promise on her face.
-
-They walked over to “Dreamland,” the place where they usually danced.
-It was a moderately large hall, where the admission price was only
-two dollars for couples, and it catered to a nondescript array of
-patrons. Those who attended it regularly were in the main young blades
-with small salaries and gay ambitions, and working-girls who desired
-to “step out” at night, but you could spy a variety of other people
-who dropped in occasionally. The place hired twelve professional
-girl dancers, who sat on a row of green wicker chairs and waited for
-customers, and there was a booth wherein a lady, who looked like a
-middle-aged, superannuated burlesque actress, dispensed tickets, each
-of which entitled the bearer to a dance with one of the hired girls.
-Three or four professional male dancers in tuxedoes lolled opposite
-the girls and waited for feminine patrons. They were mostly in demand
-for the tango and the Charleston--more intricate dances which most
-of the other men present had not mastered. Prosperous, middle-aged
-business men frequently dropped in to dance with the girl “hostesses”
-and a buxom, overripe, overdressed, smirking woman--who supervised this
-part of the hall’s activities--went through the respectable farce of
-inquiring each gentleman’s name and introducing him to his “hostess”
-partner. Many youths, “hard up” for the evening and desiring an
-excellent and “swell-looking” dancer, and many out-of-town visitors,
-pining for deviltry during the vacation from their families, were also
-frequent patrons. In addition, a large number of unattached men drifted
-about the hall and solicited dances from single girls, who accepted or
-rejected them according to whether they were well-dressed and talked
-with the proper confident, wise-cracking inflections. The dance floor
-covered almost one-half of the hall’s space and was separated by a
-wooden railing from the remainder of the place.
-
-With its bright green wicker armchairs, and floor of dark red plush,
-and varicolored electric lights hanging in bunches from the ceiling,
-and badly done paintings of women and cherubs and flowers on the
-surface of the walls, and canopied, bedecked platform at one side of
-the dance floor, where eight jazz players performed, the hall gave you
-the general effect of spurious romance putting on its best front to
-hide the decay of its heart. The aura of respectability that hung over
-the place was an amusing and desperate deception. Two guards stood on
-the dance floor and reprimanded couples when they shimmied, or moved
-with a too undulating slowness, and other attendants watched the rows
-of wicker chairs and censored any open “spooning” among the patrons,
-and yet the hall was quite patently an inception-ground for rendezvous,
-and assignations, and flirtations, and covert flesh-pressures. The
-“hostesses” took soft drinks with their steadiest partners, at one
-end of the hall, with much touching of knees and flitting of hands
-under the tables, to induce the men to spend more freely--overrouged
-and lip-sticked girls, with bobbed hair and plump faces where sex had
-become the most automatic and shallow of signals. They wore short
-evening gowns, sleeveless and with low necks, and they “innocently”
-crossed their legs to show an inch or two of bare flesh above their
-rolled-up, thinnest stockings, and then uncrossed them again when they
-perceived that some man was staring at the exposure, keeping up these
-back-and-forth movements as though an innuendo with springs and wheels
-had replaced all of the sexual spontaneity within them.
-
-Blanche and Rosenberg danced again and again to the jerky, moaning,
-truculently snickering ache and dementia of the music. To Blanche,
-dancing was the approved, indirect way in which you could relieve your
-sex without compromising it, and as she was hugged tightly against
-Rosenberg, he became desirable to her because the music and steps
-transformed him and cast a rhythmical glamor upon his body. She had the
-same feeling with any man with whom she danced, unless he was old or
-inept, and when she danced with a man who was physically attractive off
-the dance floor as well, the sensation rose to an all-conquering and
-haughty semiecstasy. Then she held her head high, and closed her eyes
-occasionally, and wished that darkness would suddenly descend on the
-floor.
-
-After their first few dances, Blanche and Rosenberg sat down,
-breathless, and without a thought in their heads. To Rosenberg,
-dances were opportunities to embrace a girl without interference or
-remonstrance, but beyond that the music made him feel that he was
-capering on the divine top of the world, where such dull and mournful
-things as jobs, and money worries, and alarm clocks, and family
-quarrels had been deliciously left behind.
-
-In front of Blanche, a bulky, short man, in a dark suit with the latest
-wide-bottomed trousers, was trying “to make” a dark, barely smiling
-girl, slender and dressed in a clinging gray gown, who refused to
-answer his remarks.
-
-“Gee, I’m as popular around here as the German measles,” he said loudly.
-
-The girl smiled more apparently but failed to answer him.
-
-“Listen, just try me once,” he begged. “Just one dance. I’ll pay the
-doctor bills if I make you sick. I’m a good sport.”
-
-The girl smiled more widely but still remained silent.
-
-“Will somebody tell me why I’m living?” he queried to the air above her
-head. “Boy, but it’s cold to-night! I left the old automatic at home so
-I can’t die just yet, girlie. Come on, just one dance, will you?”
-
-By this time the girl was fully convinced of his glib-tongued,
-regular-guy status, and felt that he had implored enough to serve as
-a sufficient payment for his dance. She rose, without a word, and
-accompanied him to the floor. Similar episodes were being enacted
-around Blanche and Rosenberg, and he said, with a grin: “It sure gets
-me when I listen to what you girls fall for. That’s why I lose out--I
-hate to talk that kind of line.”
-
-“Oh, go on, you’d do it if you could,” answered Blanche. “A girl always
-likes a fellow ’f he knows how to be funny and don’t carry it too far.
-You know what I mean. I never was so crazy ’bout this kidding stuff
-myself, but then maybe that’s why you like me, isn’t it, Lou?”
-
-“You’ve got something in you, all right,” he replied. “You don’t know
-so much more’n other girls, but you make me feel that you’re diff’rent,
-anyway. I guess it’s because you don’t put up so much bluffing and
-leading a fellow on, like other girls do.”
-
-She laughed to hide her pleasure at the compliment, and because another
-part of her said inaudibly: “Oh, I don’t, eh? Well, I’ll show you,
-before I’m through!”
-
-“You’re a funny fellow, but I’ve met them worse than you,” she said.
-
-They danced until 1 A.M., after which he escorted her to the apartment.
-As they stood in the musty, narrow, dimly lit hallway, an emotion like
-a Roman-candle spun around in his breast, and for the first time he
-grasped her with rough, active hands, and breathed hard as he whispered
-short, incoherent pleadings. She pushed him back with an undeniable
-anger and force which made him grow still and dismayed, and they stood
-for a moment, looking at each other.
-
-“So, you’re like all the rest of ’em,” she said. “What do you think I
-am? You’ve got your nerve, you have. You can’t put your hands on me
-that way, and don’t forget it!”
-
-“Well, I’m sorry,” he answered, downcast. “I didn’t mean to act like
-that, but something got the better of me. I couldn’t think of anything
-except I wanted you. I’m in love with you, Blanche, and I guess I
-didn’t know it till just now. I’d ask you to marry me to-morrow ’f I
-had money enough to keep us going.”
-
-She softened at this switch to a “decent” proposal, and she reproached
-herself for having flirted too much with him without loving him or
-caring a great deal for his embraces. She liked to hear him talk, but
-when he touched her he was awkward and hasty, and without that winning
-blend of confidence and gradual boldness which she liked in a man’s
-approaches.
-
-“I s’pose it’s my fault, too,” she said. “I don’t love you, Lou, but
-I do like you lots. Maybe I will some time. How c’n any girl be sure
-about that? I don’ want to stop going with you ’f you’ll just try to be
-friends with me, Lou.”
-
-He stood for a moment without answering--discouraged and resentful.
-Somehow he never seemed to get anything that he really wanted--what
-was the use of it all. She li-iked the way he talked, oh, yes, but
-she preferred to save herself for some empty-pated cake-eater, some
-know-it-all fellow with a straight nose and a bunch of bum jokes and a
-string of promises about what he was going to do for her.
-
-“Oh, I’ll try,” he said at last, “but I can’t see why you don’t care
-for me. I’ve got just as good a head as any one else you know, and I’m
-not so terrible looking, and I know you wouldn’t turn me down just
-’cause I’m poor.”
-
-“I cert’nly wouldn’t,” she replied. “I can’t tell you why I don’t love
-you--it’s just not there, that’s all. I think you’re a nice boy, really
-I do, and I want to keep seeing you, but what’s the use of letting you
-do things to me when it don’t mean nothing?... I’ve got to go upstairs
-now--I feel like I could sleep ten hours. We sure did dance a lot
-to-night. Listen, call me up next Thursday noon, at the caf’, and
-we’ll go some place Thursday night.”
-
-“All right, I’ll give you a ring,” he answered, dully. “I guess you
-can’t help how you feel, Blanche.”
-
-He kissed her good-night, and she let his lips stay for a while, out
-of pity, and then broke away from him. As she went to bed, she had a
-muddled, wondering feeling--why did she always turn down boys that
-were “good” and willing to marry her, and why didn’t she object to the
-embraces of “bad” men, who were just looking for an easy prospect?
-Maybe she was a little “bad” herself--a little like May Harrigan, whose
-name was the jest of the neighborhood, and who grabbed any young fellow
-that came along.... Her perturbations faded out into sleep.
-
-On the next morning she was still a bit glum at the cafeteria, but it
-was no more than the least of shadows as she exchanged glances and
-repartee with various customers who paid their checks. When she sat
-before the cash register, her business-like tension extended even to
-the sexual side of her, and she uttered her set phrases merely to
-dispose of the men who talked to her, and with little interest in their
-faces and words. During the lull-hours, however, between two and four
-in the afternoon, she relaxed, and the appraising tingles of her sex
-came back, and she entered into badinage with the proprietor and the
-counter-men and stray customers whom she knew. Her confined perch on
-the cashier’s stool had to be forgotten in some way.
-
-The cafeteria had rows of brightly varnished chairs with broad arms,
-and tables with white, enameled tops, and a sprinkle of sawdust on the
-tiled floor. Pyramids of oranges and grapefruit stood in the windows,
-and the glass-walled food counters were heaped with pastry, cold meats
-and trays of salads and puddings. The smell of soggy, overspiced food
-and body-odors possessed the air, and a spirit of dreamless, hasty,
-semidirty devouring hung over the place. On this afternoon, Blanche was
-chatting with the proprietor, a tall Jew of forty years, with a jowled,
-bloodless face, killed black eyes that were always shifting about in
-the fear that they might be missing something, and the thickest of
-lips. His coat was off and he wore an expensive, monogramed silk shirt
-of green and white stripes, and had a cigar forever in his mouth or
-hand.
-
-“Check up yet on the accounts?” he asked.
-
-“Yep, ev’rything’s straight,” she answered.
-
-“Say, I bought a beauty of uh coat f’r my wiff yesterday,” he said.
-“She can’t say I ever hold out on _her_.”
-
-“Well, isn’t that nice--she must be tickled to death,” said Blanche,
-giving him the flattering words that he wanted to hear. “Nobody ever
-slips me any swell coats.”
-
-“Well, if they don’t it’s your fault,” he replied. “You could work a
-fellow f’r anything you wanted--you’ve got the goods, all right.”
-
-“Aw, quit your kidding,” she said. “I wouldn’t take no prizes in a
-beauty show.”
-
-“You would if I was one uh the judges,” he answered.
-
-He poked her in the side, playfully, and she smiled carefully. You had
-to take such things from your boss--it was all in the game--but you
-wished that he would keep his hands to himself--the fat old lobster.
-
-“Any time you wanna take a little ride in my machine, it’s there,” he
-said.
-
-“Gee, I’d be afraid of you,” she retorted. “I think you’re _some_
-devil, you are.”
-
-He chuckled at the praise of his masculine gifts, and walked back to
-the kitchen in response to a call. The cafeteria was located in a
-manufacturing and wholesale district where practically all of the trade
-occurred around the noon hour, and it closed its doors at 6 P.M. When
-Blanche returned to the apartment, Harry, Philip and Mabel were sitting
-at the supper-table (the father happened to be visiting one of his
-cronies uptown).
-
-“Say, I met a guy to-day said he saw you at Dreamland las’ night,” said
-Philip, when Blanche came to the table.
-
-“Uh-huh, I was there,” said Blanche.
-
-“Well, I wouldn’t be seen in a bum joint like that,” Mabel commented.
-“You certainly have a gift f’r pickin’ out the penny-squeezers, Blanie.
-Me f’r the Club Breauville, ’r places like that. They put on the best
-show you ever saw--Hawkins ’n Dale, straight from the Palace Theater,
-and a big, A-number-one chorus.”
-
-“Aw, rats, you’re always worrying what a fella’s going to spend on
-you,” said Blanche. “They’ve got a peach of a jazz-band at Dreamland,
-and a dandy floor--that’s all I care about.”
-
-“Your tastes ’r sim-ply aw-ful,” Mabel answered, “and what’s more, why
-shouldn’t a girl go with high-class fellas and have ’em spend piles on
-her? That’s what they’re made for.”
-
-“Well, I don’t blame you none,” said Philip, “but believe me, I’d never
-pick out a wife like you. You sure would keep a fella on the go digging
-it up for you.”
-
-“Mabel don’t mean anything by it,” said his mother, who had come in
-from the kitchen, “but I wish she wouldn’t stay out so late. I get to
-worryin’ when she comes home three an’ four an’ five in the mornin’.
-You never can tell what’ll happen to a girl in this city.”
-
-“Aw, ma, don’t fret, I can take care of myself,” Mabel said.
-
-“That’s what they all say,” Harry broke in. “I was talkin’ to a fella
-to-day, said his kid sister got into a scrape out in Jersey. Two guys
-started scrappin’ over her in a machine, and one of ’em’s dyin’ in the
-hospital, and the bulls ’r after her. It was in the papers yesterday.
-You better watch y’r step, Mabe.”
-
-“Listen, no girl ’cept a fool would go out in a machine with two guys,”
-answered Mabel. “I’ll take ’em one at a time, believe me.”
-
-“Well, I do think you’re too free with the men, an’ you only eighteen,”
-her mother said, looking at Mabel in a ruefully helpless way. “It’s I
-that can’t hold you down, and it’s I that never could, but I’m wishin’
-you’d stay home once’n a while. How’ll you ever get a decint man to
-make a decint proposal to you, how’ll you ever, runnin’ round with that
-fast crowd uh yours?”
-
-“G’wan, she’ll land a big one yet, ’fore she’s through,” said Harry.
-“Mabe’s a wise girlie, and I’m with her all the time!”
-
-“Same here,” Mabel answered affectionately, as she pulled her brother’s
-hair.
-
-“I s’pose I’m the boob uh this fam’ly,” said Blanche, “but I won’t lose
-no sleep over it. ’F I like the way a man talks, ’n how he looks, I
-don’t care what’s the size of his roll.”
-
-“You got it from me, you did,” her mother said, with a dully soft look.
-“It’s I that married your father when he hadn’t a cent to his name.
-’Twas the way he could blarney, ’twas that, and ’twas the face of him
-that made me take him.”
-
-“Aw, pa’s all right, but he’s shy on brains,” Mabel said. “’F I ever
-get hooked up with any man he’s got to have plenty uh money, and then
-some. I’m worth all the dough in the world ’cordin’ to my way uh
-thinkin’, and I’m not scrubbin’ floors for no fella this year ’r next.
-This lovin’-up stuff don’t get you much.”
-
-“Yeh, Blanche is a mut with alla her Rosinburgs, ’n Kellies, ’n all the
-rest uh them tin-horn pikers,” said Harry. “I know how she’ll wind up,
-all right. Some guy’ll have her washin’ his clothes an makin’ her like
-it!”
-
-“Ma’s been washing yours and pa’s for years, but you’re not kicking
-about that,” answered Blanche. “Anyway it won’t be some one like you.
-You think that row-mance is something people clean their shoes with,
-you do. You’ve got a heart like a oyster, I’ll say.”
-
-“Row-ma-ance, that’s good,” answered Harry, derisively. “Try an’ cash
-in on it at the butcher shop an’ see what you get.”
-
-“Well, I’m on Blanie’s side,” said Philip, who liked his older sister
-because she was “softer” than the other members of the family. “When I
-marry a girl she’s got to love me, first, last, ’n’ all the time. I’m
-strong for the jack, sure, but there’s other things hanging around.”
-
-“Say, isn’t Joe Campbell comin’ up to-night?” asked Mabel, turning to
-Blanche.
-
-“Yeh, I’ve got a date with him f’r eight-thirty.”
-
-“Now there’s a guy you oughta play up to,” said Harry. “He takes down a
-good three hundred a week f’r that turn he does up at The Golden Mill.
-Joe’s as wise as they make ’em--a wise-crackin’ baby. I’m gonna stick
-around when he comes up here to-night. He c’n get a laugh outa me any
-day in the year.”
-
-“Joe’s there, all right,” Mabel said. “I wish he wasn’t so sweet on
-Blanche.”
-
-“Well, go after him, dearie, if that’s how you feel,” Blanche answered.
-“It won’t be breaking my heart.”
-
-As she dressed herself for the coming engagement, Blanche had
-an uneven, up-in-the-air song in her blood. Another man would
-soon be courting her, and casting “I’d-like-to-get-you” looks at
-her, and deferring to her just as much as if she had been famous
-or wealthy, and praising her to lead up to attempted caresses,
-while she sat in judgment on the proceedings, with a queenly
-“I’ll-have-to-see-about-this” sensation, and remarks made of “slams”
-and retirings to put him on his mettle, and the feeling of owning the
-world for a few, high-keyed hours, until she returned to her bed and
-the more level-headed endurance-test at the cafeteria. Her head was
-totally empty for a time, and she sang the popular tunes of the day,
-in a low, contralto voice, as she fussed about with her toilette.
-Then glimpses of Joe Campbell appeared in her head, and she wondered
-whether she would ever marry him. She liked him physically, and she
-respected his money-making talents, but her response toward him was
-much stronger when he was with her. His absence seemed to remove a
-black-art spell, and to leave in its place doubts and confusions.
-Then, beneath all of his good-humors and effulgent generosities, she
-divined an insincerity and something that spoke of shrouded, patiently
-crouching intentions. What they were she did not know. Her mind was not
-capable of delving into this reaction, and it told her only that he
-wasn’t “coming out” with his real self. Her brother had introduced him
-to her six months previous to this night, and since then Campbell had
-pursued her in an irregular way, since he frequently left New York on
-vaudeville-bookings. She had allowed him certain physical liberties and
-had admonished herself afterwards for being “too easy,” but the matter
-had rested there, since he had never been remarkably insistent in his
-efforts to vanquish her.
-
-When he came up, and airily saluted her, Harry and Mabel, who were in
-the living-room, greeted him effusively. They considered it an honor
-that this minor Broadway favorite, whose name was occasionally in
-electric lights, should be so willing to visit them and “step out of
-his class.”
-
-“’Lo, Joe, still bringin’ down the house?” asked Mabel.
-
-“Nothing but,” he replied. “The bulls came running into the place last
-night, looking for a free-for-all fight, the clapping was that loud.”
-
-Mabel and Harry laughed, and Harry said: “C’mon, I bet you coulda heard
-a maxim-silencer after you got through.”
-
-“That’s the same gun they shoot off when you get through fighting,
-isn’t it?” asked Campbell, with a solemn look.
-
-“You win,” answered Harry, laughing again.
-
-“Well, I’ve got to go now,” Mabel said. “Papa doesn’t like to be kept
-waitin’, you know.”
-
-“Be sure and don’t leave him anything,” Campbell replied. “A girl got
-expelled from the Flappers’ Union the other day--they all got sore at
-her because she overlooked a ten-spot in the upper vest-pocket.”
-
-“You’re talkin’ to the president of the Union--don’t be funny,”
-answered Mabel.
-
-Blanche joined in the laughter now and then--Campbell’s humor was
-hard to resist. A stocky man of medium height, whose feet were always
-tapping the floor as though they had a light itch to be dancing, he
-rarely ever departed from the bon-mots that constituted his chief
-stock-in-trade. His mind was intelligent in worldly ways, and a blank
-otherwise, but he was quite aware of his ignorances and careful not to
-expose them. He had a long, narrow face, with a slanting nose, mobile
-lips, and a twinkling, lazy cruelty in his eyes. His thick brown hair
-was burnished and pasted down on his head, and he wore the latest,
-loose-trousered clothes, in shades of gray and brown, with multicolored
-scarves, and a diamond ring on one of his fingers. He was a coarse
-sensualist grown careless from many feminine captures, and he had held
-back in Blanche’s regard from the feeling that she would “have to come
-to him first.” Still, he was becoming aware of an increasing urge
-toward her, moved by something in her face and figure that “hit it off
-just right.” She wasn’t nearly as pretty as tens of Broadway girls whom
-he knew, but she had an unspoiled swerve and sturdiness that attracted
-him, and in addition, he felt that she knew much more than many other
-women of his acquaintance--that she was not quite as shallow, or as
-palpably scheming, as most of his retinue were.
-
-He left the apartment with her, and they hailed a taxicab and were
-driven to his cabaret off Upper Broadway. His turn only came on at
-eleven o’clock when the after-theater crowd poured into the place, and
-he sat with Blanche at one of the tables, and endlessly greeted his
-“friends,” and adulterated glasses of ginger-ale with the contents of a
-silver flask carried in his hip-pocket.
-
-The Golden Mill was a resplendent, baroque cabaret, with a large,
-electrically lit windmill, made of gold silk stretched over a
-framework, standing over the stage. The jazz-band sat just below the
-stage, between the carpeted runways on which the performers descended
-to the dance floor. Men and women, half of them in evening clothes,
-chattered and laughed at the surrounding tables, with a macabre
-heartiness that sometimes lessened to betrayals of the underlying
-dullness.
-
-The whisky began to knock about in Blanche’s heart to a cruelly
-victorious feeling--Campbell thought he was so darn smart, didn’t he?
-Well, he’d have to go some to get her, just the same. Girls were always
-falling for a celebrity of his kind, and she’d treat him to a novelty.
-Still, he made her laugh and forget the rest of her world, and she
-didn’t mind if he caressed her to a certain extent (not too much and
-not too little).
-
-“Y’know, you’re a royal-flush to me,” said Campbell. “I’d win the pot
-with you, any day in the year.”
-
-“You’ll win the air ’f you get too gay,” she answered, merrily.
-
-“Now is that nice?” he queried, in tones of mock-reproach. “Daddy’ll do
-anything for you--anything you want.”
-
-“I’m not taking things from men this year,” she replied.
-
-“Isn’t she smart--keeps count of the years ’n’ everything,” he said.
-“You’ll stop counting when you get to be thirty, old dear.”
-
-“Is that the place where you stopped?” she asked.
-
-Campbell winced secretly--he was thirty-five and not particularly
-elated about it. Blanche always talked better under the influence of
-liquor--it loosened her tongue and unearthed an effervescence in her
-mind: keen as far as it went.
-
-“Take that knife away, Annette;--it’s killing me,” he responded, in
-quavering, melodramatic tones.
-
-Blanche took another sip from her highball.
-
-“D’y’know, I may get crazy some time and ask you to marry me,” he said.
-
-“That’s too bad--it must be worrying you a lot,” answered Blanche. “I
-never lose my head that way, so look out.”
-
-“But really, I’m strong for you,” he went on. “It’s all in fun most of
-the time with me, but you’re at the top of the list.”
-
-“I’d hate to bet on your meaning it,” said Blanche, a bit more softly.
-
-“Don’t do it, you couldn’t get any odds,” he answered.
-
-He chucked her under the chin and she slapped his hand.
-
-“What nervous ha-ands you’ve got,” she said.
-
-“Come on, act as though you didn’t like it,” he retorted.
-
-“That’s the best thing I do,” she replied.
-
-They continued the bantering, with the occasional interruption of
-a fox-trot, until his “turn” came on, when he left her with an
-acquaintance of his--a harmless, hero-worshiping chorus man in a dark
-suit, whose ruddy, regular-featured face had a look that was perilously
-near to a pout. Then Campbell appeared in white duck trousers, a dark
-blue coat, black shoes, and a panama-straw hat, and did clog-dances,
-and sang in a hard tenor voice, at the head of a bare-legged chorus
-dressed in very short boyish trousers of red, and indigo low-necked
-vests, and gaudy caps slanting on their heads. He was a nimble dancer
-and had a powerful voice, and could have risen to a point near the head
-of his profession, if laziness and undue dissipation had not held him
-down. When his act had finished and he had cleaned the make-up from his
-face, he returned to the table and remained there with Blanche until 2
-A. M. After they left the place they entered a cab and he said: “What
-d’you say to coming up to my joint for a while--I’m harmless, girlie, I
-won’t make you cry on mother’s shoulder.”
-
-“You are, and you’re going to stay that way,” she answered. “C’mon now,
-tell James to drive over to Ninth Avenue, old dear.”
-
-He made a grimace and did as she requested. He’d get her yet, no
-fear, but there was no need for hurrying. It was always a fatal move
-to expostulate with a woman at such a juncture. Again, she wasn’t
-important enough to _him_ for any come-downs.
-
-In the taxicab, he hugged and kissed her, and though she made little
-resistance, an alertness contended against the liquor-fumes in her head
-and counseled her to “look out.” As they stood in the hallway of her
-building he became a trifle bolder, and she was passive for a while
-and then stopped him. It wasn’t easy to hold out against him, and she
-had barely been able to check the rising dizziness within her, but she
-simply couldn’t let him win her as lightly as this. She had not drunk
-sufficiently to reach a gigglingly helpless mood, although everything
-_did_ seem to be jovially unimportant, and a dislike of him rose within
-her. He was too confident, he was. She’d teach him a lesson, she would,
-in spite of all of his physical appeal and his pleasant nerviness.
-
-“You’re a little too fast--I can’t keep up with you,” she said.
-“Besides, I’m getting the willies standing here all the time. Be a good
-boy now, and let me go upstairs.”
-
-“All right, girlie--game’s over,” he replied, gracefully taking his
-defeat. “How about next Saturday--eight ’r so?”
-
-“That suits, I’ll be on deck,” she said.
-
-He kissed her again and went out to the waiting taxicab. As she entered
-her room she had a droopy, misty feeling. Oh, well, another man turned
-down--what did _she_ get out of it, anyway? It was funny, you wanted to
-and you didn’t want to at the same time. She blinked at herself in the
-mirror, and then turned out the light and went to sleep.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-
-The late spring evening extracted lights from the twilight on Ninth
-Avenue, like some pacing conjurer producing tiny, molten rabbits from
-his trailing, unseen sleeves. Blanche walked along the street, on her
-way home from the cafeteria, and her high heels scuffed on the dirty
-cement sidewalk with a weary evenness. It was all right to say that
-sitting on a stool all day rested your legs, but the energy that went
-from your arms and head drew its penalty from all of your body. That
-cafeteria was finally “getting on her nerves”--the place had changed
-proprietors a few weeks before, and the new owner, a furtive-faced man
-of thirty, who considered himself to be an invincible Don Juan, always
-hovered about Blanche’s stand as much as he could and continually
-touched her in ways that made it hard for her to conceal her ire. She
-had run out of all of her tactfully laughing withdrawals, and momentary
-submissions when the gesture was not “too raw,” and the situation had
-reached a straining-point. It would not have been so bad if he had been
-good-looking, or if he had sought to lavish gifts upon her, but here he
-was a man with a long nose and a spindly body, making advances to her
-because she was an employee of his at twenty-three a week--the nerve of
-him! She would quit the place to-morrow if he tried another thing.
-
-A year had passed since her last spring night with Campbell at The
-Golden Mill, and she was now a little over twenty-one. Her figure had
-grown less bottom-heavy, and her bosom had curved out a bit, and her
-face was more resolved and inquiring beneath the many ignorances that
-still remained. A deeper, half hopeless question had crept into her
-bluish-gray eyes--an untutored I’d-like-to-know-what-it’s-all-about
-look--and her wide lips had come together more closely and lost some
-of their loose thoughtlessness. Very dimly, she had even commenced
-to see flaws and credulities in her hitherto uninspected family,
-especially in her father and her brother Harry, whose endless strut
-and domineering words had become more of a palpable bluff to her. Yet,
-at the same time, she still accepted her environs without much anger
-or revolt, because, after all, they were real, and near-at-hand, and
-seemingly permanent, and because they still held nightly escapes, and
-laughing conquests at parties, and dance halls, and cabarets. The
-only one possibility of a change was marriage, and she dreaded this
-loophole because it meant being tied down to one man and losing the
-delicious sense of juggling several men to the stress of her whims. At
-times she toyed with the dream of becoming the mistress of a wealthy
-and at least endurable man--plenty of women “got away with it,” and
-what was hindering her?--but it never more than flitted through her
-mind because her life had always pounded into her the fact that a girl
-had to be “respectable” at all costs, had to cling to an indignant
-pose of keeping men at arm’s length, so that she could look the
-world in the face with the glad knowledge that it was unaware of her
-“personal” relentings and sins. Otherwise, the girl definitely cut
-herself off from all safeguards and reassurances, and was regarded with
-contemptuous smiles, and lightly spoken of. Again, Blanche had just
-insight enough to see what the outcome might be if she lived with such
-a man or allowed him to maintain an apartment for her--to see a hint
-of the querulous boredoms and the eventual separation that would ensue
-unless she was really “crazy” about the man. Of course, she merely
-translated it into the statement that she was not “cut out” for such a
-life.
-
-During the past year, Campbell had been away twice on long vaudeville
-tours, and while he was in New York, her refusals to succumb to him had
-piqued him to a point where he called her up at much longer intervals.
-What the devil--he wasn’t so “hard up” that he had to chase after a
-cafeteria cashier who was probably merely intent on getting a “good
-time” out of him. He could not quite dismiss her from his mind--she
-had a proud twist to her which he liked in spite of himself, and his
-vanity always made him believe that he would eventually subdue her--and
-the impulse to see her again came back to him during his weariest
-moods--after an unusually pronounced jag, for instance, when he was
-“sore at the world” and when his head throbbed heavily, for at such
-times she always beckoned to him as a fresher and less solved feminine
-variation.
-
-Blanche’s attitude toward him had narrowed down to a sentence which
-she had once said to herself: “’F he ever asks me to marry him, maybe
-I will, maybe, but he’s not going to get me like he does other girls,
-not ’f he was the Prince uh Wales himself!” During the past year she
-had been more steadily in the company of Rosenberg--he was a necessity
-to her because he “knew more” than the other men in her life and could
-assist the feeble stirrings and problems that were beginning to spring
-up in her mind. He was still unattractive to her in a physical way--a
-very bright, good boy, but not the broad-chested, wise and yet tender
-man who constituted her hazy ideal--but she had permitted him embraces
-of greater intimacy, out of the feeling that it wasn’t right to take so
-much from him and give him nothing in return, although she refrained
-from any semblance of a full surrender. He frequently loaned her books,
-through which she stumbled with amusement and awe--she could not
-understand most of what they said (it sure was “bughouse”), but when he
-sought to explain it to her it grew a bit clearer, and she had glimpses
-of men and women in the novels, who lived more freely and searchingly
-than she did, and who saw and spoke of “all sorts of strange things”
-that she had never dreamt of--com-plex-es, and inhibishuns, and hunting
-for bee-oo-ty, and boldly telling life how double-faced it was, and
-living your own life with a laugh at the objections of other people,
-and always looking for something that stood behind something else. They
-formed themselves into perplexing lures that could never be quite
-banished from her mind, and became “stronger” when she was in her
-“bluest” moods.
-
-Rosenberg had found another girl--a blonde, slim chatterer, who tried
-to write poetry between her labors as a stenographer, and worshiped his
-“won-der-ful brain,” but although this girl had become his mistress, he
-never regarded her with more than a flattered satisfaction and still
-saw Blanche once a week. He could not rid himself of the hope that
-Blanche might finally love him and marry him, and the other girl’s glib
-professions of culture and creative aspiration were never as appealing
-as Blanche’s stumbling and honest questions. He saw “something big”
-in Blanche and wanted to extract it from her and bask in its warm
-emancipations.
-
- * * * * *
-
-When Blanche entered the living-room of her home she found that Harry
-and her father were in her bedroom, engaging in a highly secret confab
-with another man. Still resenting her day at the cafeteria, and vexed
-at this invasion of her private domain, she burst into anger before
-Philip and Mabel, who were seated at the table and waiting for the
-mother to bring the supper in.
-
-“Say, what right’ve they to go in my room?” she asked. “Think I want
-some fella to see my slip-ons ’n’ things hanging around, and maybe
-sitting on my bed? I’m not going to stand for it!”
-
-“Hush up, don’t let them hear you,” said Mabel. “I know how you feel,
-sure, but then it don’t happen ev’ry night. They got something up their
-sleeves, and they don’t even want the resta us to hear about it. I
-don’t see why Harry and pa can’t trust their own fam’ly, though.”
-
-“They’re cooking up something about Harry’s next scrap,” said Philip.
-“He’s in there with Bill Rainey, and Rainey’s managing this here Young
-Thomas, the kid Harry’s gonna fight Friday night.”
-
-“Well, I’ll stand it once, but they’d better not pull it off again,”
-Blanche responded, as she removed her hat and her spring coat. “My
-room’s my own place and I don’t want any strange men looking it over.”
-
-Her anger had gone down to a quieter sullenness.
-
-“Come on, Blan, get off the high perch,” Philip said. “We’ll all be
-rolling in money if the thing comes through.”
-
-“B’lieve me, Harry’s going to get into trouble yet with all this
-crooked stuff of his,” Blanche replied. “He can’t even fight on the
-level any more.”
-
-“Well, I don’t blame Harry one bit,” Mabel said. “He’s just got to play
-the old game, that’s all. He won his las’ bout hands down and they went
-and give the verdict to the other fellow.”
-
-“You can’t be a goody-goody and come out on top in this burg,” Philip
-said, moodily. “I don’t b’lieve in stealing ’r holding anybody up, but
-just the same you’ve got to be as tricky as the other side, I’m telling
-you.”
-
-“That’s always the line around here, but I’m not so sure about it,”
-Blanche answered. “There’s plenty of people that get by ’cause they can
-do things better’n other people--’cause they’ve got brains in their
-heads and not a lotta excuses. ’F ev’rybody was dishonest all the
-time, they couldn’t make jails large enough to hold ’em. I’m getting
-tired of all this fake and fake and fake around here. It looks like a
-bum excuse to me.”
-
-“Since when’ve you become so up’n the air?” asked Mabel. “You’ve been
-listenin’ some more to your Rosinburgs, ’n Smiths, ’n all the resta
-them--fellas that walk round without a cent in their pockets, ’n’ tell
-you how stra-aight they are, ’n’ talk like they owned the earth. They
-give me a pain in the back. Harry’s tryin’ to make some real money so
-we c’n all move outa this shack here, but _you_ never give him any
-credit.”
-
-“Have it your own way,” Blanche replied, with a light disgust. “You
-won’t talk like that ’f the p’lice ever come up here looking for him.”
-
-“That’s what I’m always afraid of,” said the mother, who had come in
-from the kitchen. “I get turribul dreams all the time, turribul, an’ I
-c’n always see your father an’ Harry sittin’ in jail. I’ve always said
-it’s no use bein’ dishonest, no use. It’s not the right way uh actin’,
-it’s not, an’ you always get punished for it. I’d much rather live just
-like we are, plain an’ decint-like, an’ not be worryin’ all the time.”
-
-“I know how you feel ’bout it, ma,” said Blanche, patting her mother’s
-shoulder and stroking her hair, “but there’s no use in saying anything.
-Try and tell something to Harry and pa--just try!”
-
-“Aw, ma, don’t be so foolish,” Mabel said, with affection and
-condescending pity mingled, as she pinched her mother’s cheek. “’F
-you went round like I do, an’ saw what was goin’ on, you wouldn’t be
-so worried. Why, there’s fellas gettin’ away with murder all the time,
-an’ nobody touches them. Big ones, too, the bigges’ they’ve got in this
-burg.”
-
-“Well, I think ma’s right, in a way,” said Philip, cautiously, “but
-she don’t know what Harry’s up against. You can’t be straight in this
-scrapping game.”
-
-“It’s I that always tried to raise all of you to be honest an’
-good--it’s no fault uh mine, it’s not,” his mother said, mournfully, as
-she returned to the kitchen.
-
-The door of Blanche’s room opened and the two Palmers emerged with
-Rainey, the rival manager. Rainey was a tall, beefy man with a paunch,
-who wore an immaculate suit of brown checks and sported a gray derby
-hat and a heavy gold chain on his white linen vest. He was almost
-totally bald, and his smoothly ruddy face had the look of a politician
-who had just kissed an unusually homely infant, in the interest of his
-election. He uttered a few brightly bovine compliments to the women and
-then departed, after a last whispered talk with the father outside of
-the apartment door.
-
-“Say, what’s the idea of keepin’ us outside?” asked Mabel, peevishly,
-after her father had returned. “You oughta know we’re safe, you ought.”
-
-“What you don’t know won’t hurt you none,” her father answered, rubbing
-a finger over his thick lips. “Anybody’ll start blabbin’ when he gets a
-little booze in him--’specially a woman.”
-
-“Aw, we know what it’s all about,” said Philip. “They’re pointing
-Thomas f’r a go with the champion, and Harry’s one guy _he_ can’t beat,
-an’ he knows it. What’s Rainey going to hand out f’r Harry’s putting
-the wraps on, that’s what I’d like to know.”
-
-“Listen, talk about somethin’ else,” Harry said, surlily.
-
-He was a bit ashamed of his rôle in the affair--not from a sense of
-guilt but because it was a refutation of his two-fisted supremacy--and
-a bit childishly fearful that the “frame-up” would be discovered if any
-one, even a member of his family, conversed on the subject.
-
-“You people sure hate to mind your own business,” he went on.
-
-“That’s right, lay off,” said the father. “We’ll be havin’ thousands
-nex’ week, ’f ev’rythin’ goes right--I’ll tell yuh that much--but I
-don’t want none of yuh to start blah-blahin’ all over the place. You
-girls wanna keep a close mouth, d’yuh hear me?”
-
-“Oh, hush up, you never give us a chance to say anythin’--you’re always
-gabbin’ yourself,” Mabel said, petulantly, as she went into her room.
-
-“I’ll bet both of you get into a peck of trouble before you’re
-through, but it’s not my funeral,” said Blanche, in a spirit of weary
-indifference.
-
-“Stop croakin’ all the time, will yuh,” answered Harry. “You talk like
-you was anxious f’r us to get in bad, you do.”
-
-“Oh, let’s drop it--you never pay any attention to what I say,” she
-replied. “I’m just looking on--don’t mind me.”
-
-“Well, see that yuh don’t do nothin’ but look,” her father admonished.
-“You’ve been havin’ too damn much to say, these days.”
-
-Blanche repressed her irritation and retired to prepare for her night’s
-engagement. She was to meet a boy named Fred Roper at the corner drug
-store, and hints of coming gayety strove to dispel her darker feelings.
-She’d get away from her family some time, even if she had to wind up
-by marrying a hunchback with one eye, never fear, but in the meantime
-there was nothing that she could do. Almost unconsciously, she had
-begun to classify the members of her family in general ways that were
-far from complimentary. Her mother was a weak, abused woman; her father
-was brainless, and conceited, and bossy; Harry was an ill-tempered
-bully and gangster; Mabel thought of nothing but deceiving men and
-landing a wealthy one; and Phil was afraid of his shadow, and never
-taking sides. Still, they were _her_ family, and it was necessary to
-“stick up” for them--a great deal to other people and even a little
-to herself--and in spite of their faults they _did_ love each other,
-and they _were_ generous to each other, and, after all, they were no
-worse than most of the people in the world, as far as she could see.
-She would always be loyal to them, sure, but she did want to get off by
-herself, and be independent, and not bear the brunt of their orders,
-and displeasures, and knaveries, and to achieve this she would probably
-have to pay the penalty of marrying some man whom she did not love, but
-who could comfortably provide for her. What could she do herself--she
-had no particular talent or ability (she was getting wise to that),
-and it seemed to be a toss-up between working like a Turk and doing
-more as she pleased in a home of her own. She would never accept any
-large sums of money from her family, even if her brother’s dishonest
-schemes should succeed, because she would never be able to feel right
-about it--she didn’t want money that was “dirty” and not her own.
-
-Her mood was unduly reckless as she walked down Ninth Avenue to meet
-her “boy-friend,” for she had a reaction to “forget the whole thing”
-for the night, at least. In her light brown coat, thinly trimmed with
-cheap white rabbit-fur at the bottom and top, and her short black and
-lavender crêpe-de-chine dress, and the round, gray hat snugly fitting
-over her bobbed hair, she had the self-contained, jauntily ordinary
-look of scores of other girls tripping down the street. Her escort of
-the evening, Fred Roper, was a pimply-faced, stocky youth, with sandy
-hair and lascivious eyes. He dressed in expensive gray-checked suits,
-and wore a narrow-brimmed, black derby hat, and regarded himself as one
-of the Beau Brummells of the neighborhood. He worked on and off as a
-clerk in a Ninth Avenue cigar store, but his main passion and source
-of revenue was playing the races, and his financial state varied from
-hundreds of dollars on one week to being “broke” and borrowing money
-on the next. On this night he had “cleaned up” on a ten-to-one shot at
-Belmont Park, and he had the truculent swagger of the successful and
-not yet hardened gambler, who feels that he is the darling of chance
-and need only lift a finger to cow anything in the world. Blanche
-considered him to be an aimless fool--one of the hordes of bozoes who
-were always trying to get something for nothing--but since he was
-willing to spend money freely for her entertainment, she saw no reason
-for refusing to accompany him now and then. Also, he was a good dancer,
-and so far had never sought to do more than kiss her--a contact which
-always had to be endured as a payment for your evening’s fun. She knew,
-of course, that he was “laying for her,” and would sooner or later
-attempt to seduce her, but that was the element of lurking risk that
-prevented such occurrences from becoming too stale and peaceful--it
-gave you the watchful tingle, and the sought-after feeling, that
-established your feminine importance, even though you disdained the man
-in question and had no intention of responding to him.
-
-“’Lo, Blanche, how’s the girlie?” he asked, when she had walked up to
-him at the drug-store entrance.
-
-“Fine as silk,” she answered.
-
-They stepped to the curb-stone and looked for an empty taxicab among
-those that rolled by.
-
-“What d’you wanna do to-night?” he asked.
-
-“Well, let’s see, I guess I’d better leave you car-fare,” said Blanche,
-impudently.
-
-“I can’t laugh to-night, my lip hurts,” he responded. “I raked in a
-coupla hundred on the fifth race to-day, so don’t let that part of it
-worry you none.”
-
-“How about a show, and then the Breauville afterwards?” asked Blanche.
-
-“You’re on,” he replied. “You’ll meet a lotta guys before you find
-one’s loose as I am, girlie.”
-
-“I know--you’re a peach, Fred,” she answered, putting a note of
-cajoling praise in her voice.
-
-They rode in a cab to a Broadway theater, where he purchased the
-best orchestra seats. The show was one of those musical revues--“The
-Strolling Models of 1925”--where fully endowed, and slenderly
-semi-chubby, chorus girls revealed everything except the extreme middle
-portion of their anatomies, and pranced and kicked about the stage,
-with a manufactured blitheness and a perfect cohesion; and where male
-and female dancers pounded, leapt, and whirled, like inhumanly nimble
-and secretly bored manikins; and where the scenes were rococo or
-minutely simple--multicolored Chinese scenes, Oriental harem scenes,
-streets on the Bowery, Russian peasant festivals; and where the music
-and songs were either sweetly languorous or full of a rattling,
-tattling sensuality. The music had a precarious charm, a charm that
-could not bear much reiteration but just failed to be obvious at a
-first hearing.
-
-Blanche sat, transported, and sorry that she had to return to her
-partner between the scenes. This was the life--throwing up your head
-and winking an eye at all invitations, like you had a first mortgage
-on the earth! She envied the girls on the stage, even though she knew
-something of the labors and uncertainties attached to their profession.
-How she wished that she, too, could do something different, and get
-applauded for it, and lose the buried sense that often recurred to her.
-
-After the show she went with Roper to the Club Breauville, a private
-hang-out off upper Broadway. The place was plastered with frescoes
-and decorations in gilt, red, and purple, and had a jazz-orchestra
-of ten men. It prided itself upon its air of gleeful informality--a
-spirit of natural good-fellowship--although you divined that all of
-the uproar was doing its best to hide the passage of money, and a
-less humorous sensual game. Theatrical celebrities were hailed at the
-tables and asked to make speeches, or give impromptu performances,
-and people spoke to each other without an introduction, and a stout
-hostess in a black and silver jet evening gown wandered among the
-tables and made witty remarks to everybody, and never lost her
-“I’m-doing-it-to-keep-you-amused” mien. As Blanche and Roper followed
-the head waiter to a table, the hostess, who had chemically yellowed,
-abundant hair, and a round, fake-babyish face, was bandying words with
-a group of tall, rakish men in tuxedoes.
-
-“D’you hear the latest?” she asked. “They’re going to give all the
-chorines a machine and a diamond bracelet to keep them honest.”
-
-“Rockefeller’s donating a million to the cause.”
-
-“Pass that pipe around and we’ll all take a whiff,” answered one of the
-men.
-
-“I’ll give you the needle instead--I sold the pipe to a stock-broker
-this morning,” she answered.
-
-The man laughed at this jibe at their profession, and the hostess
-turned to another table.
-
-Champagne was sold at fifteen dollars a bottle, and Roper spent his
-money lavishly, in the effort to impress Blanche. When the second
-bottle came she drank sparingly--you grew too darn careless if you
-drank too much, and then you frankly “bawled out” the fellow with you,
-or let him take too many liberties. Sometimes the matter passed out of
-your control and you became merrily hazy about everything, but you had
-to fight against such an ending. Roper drank freely and passed into an
-inebriated condition that was sullen and hilarious at different times.
-This girl would have to be good to him to-night--he had played around
-with her long enough--but he would have to laugh it off for a few
-hours, until his chance came.
-
-As they rode away in a cab, he kissed her, and she made no
-remonstrances. It was all part of the system--a kiss or two at the
-start of the evening, and allowing the man to hug you a little too
-closely sometimes, while you were dancing, and then some more kisses
-during the ride home, with a few “Don’t, please don’ts” thrown in to
-provide the proper touch of objection. Then Roper became more daringly
-insistent, and she spoke indignantly over an inner sigh. Here it was
-again, the old finale.
-
-“You musn’t do that to me,” she said. “I don’t like you well enough
-for that, Fred. I mean it. I’m not a bad sport, and I’m willing to go
-so far, but I won’t give in to a fellow ’less I really care for him.
-That’s the way I’m made.”
-
-Roper’s drunkenness gave him an irresistible anger--if this girl
-thought he was a “sucker” he’d soon correct her.
-
-“You’re gonna come across with me,” he said. “I’m jes’ as good’s any
-other fellow, ’n’ I’ve been treatin’ you white, an’ you know it. What’s
-the idea, stringin’ me along like this?”
-
-“’F you can’t talk decent to me I’ll leave the cab,” she replied,
-really aggravated this time. “I never promised you anything, and ’f you
-wanted to take me out, that was up to you.”
-
-For a moment, caution contended against Roper’s drunkenness.
-
-“Aw, can’t you be nice to me?” he asked, trying to resume his
-overtures. “You know I’m crazy ’bout you, you know that.”
-
-“I can’t be like you want me to,” she answered, as she pushed him away.
-
-This time, a rage took full possession of his muddled head.
-
-“Suppose I stop the cab an’ let you get out,” he said. “You’re too damn
-stuck-up to suit me, an’ I won’t stand f’r any more of it, see? You’re
-nothin’ but a lousy gold-digger, you are!”
-
-A cool sneer rose up within Blanche--she’d “call his bluff” this time,
-and show him that he couldn’t insult _her_ with impunity. She tapped
-on the glass panel and stopped the cab. Roper tried to detain her, but
-she shook off his hands and stepped out to the pavement. The cab driver
-looked on with a quizzical ennui--this thing happened in his cab at
-least once every night.
-
-“C’m on back, Blanche, I’ll be good,” Roper cried, but she ignored him
-and strode down the street.
-
-He followed her in the cab to the next corner, repeating his entreaties
-and not quite daring to leap after her, but the presence of an
-inquisitive policeman caused him to abandon the chase, with a final
-oath. As she walked home, Blanche had a feeling of relief and of
-self-reproach. She had taught this fellow a lesson, but what was the
-sense of such happenings? She couldn’t dismiss a twinge of guilt at
-having taken his entertainment and then rejected him, but what could a
-girl do--sit at home all the time and watch the walls? Oh, darn, it was
-all a mess, all right.
-
-On the following morning at the cafeteria, she had a heavy head and
-a scarcely veiled sulkiness. If Harrison, the proprietor, started
-anything now, she’d have to quit her job--it was about time that men
-found out that they couldn’t treat her as though she were a bag of
-oatmeal! Nothing occurred until the middle of the afternoon, when
-Harrison, a tall, thin man with a long nose and blinking eyes beneath
-his curly brown hair, hung around her desk.
-
-“Wanna go somewheres to-night?” he asked.
-
-“No, thanks, I’ve got ’n engagement,” she replied, trying to make her
-voice a little cordial.
-
-“Say, you’re always turnin’ me down,” he said. “What’s the matter,
-don’t I look good to you?”
-
-“Oh, you’re all right,” she answered, “but I can’t help it ’f I’m
-usually dated up. There’s a lot of men in this town, you’d be
-surprised, and there’s only seven days in the week, y’ know.”
-
-“Don’t stall around so much,” he said. “Come on, let’s go to a show
-to-night, what do you say? You know you like me, Blanche, sure you do.
-You just wanted to see how often I’d ask you, that’s it.”
-
-He accompanied his words by placing a hand upon one of her hips, and
-this time her endurance fled.
-
-“I’m leaving to-night--you’ll have to find another cashier,” she said,
-coolly. “Try all of this stuff on some other girl and see how she likes
-it.”
-
-He looked at her for a moment, with a heavy incredulity, and then broke
-into wrath--this girl thought she was better than he was, eh?
-
-“You can’t leave too soon to suit me,” he said. “You act like you was
-Queen of Hoboken, ’r something like that! I’ll pay you off to-night,
-and good riddance!”
-
-“’F I had your conceit I’d think I was a queen, all right,” she
-replied, as she went on punching the register.
-
-“You give me a pain,” he retorted, as he walked away.
-
-She looked after him with an immense relief. Thank the Lord, this was
-over at last.
-
-As she walked to her home that night, she felt an emboldened mood, as
-though she had asserted herself for the first time in her life. When
-she broke the news to Mabel, who was sitting in the living-room, her
-sister was sympathetic.
-
-“You’re a darn sight better off away from that place,” Mabel said.
-“Stop workin’ for a while an’ just step out, Blan. You’ve got a rest
-comin’ to you.”
-
-“I’ll say I have,” answered Blanche.
-
-For the next week Blanche hung around the apartment, and enjoyed the
-luxury of rising at ten in the morning and losing the old feeling of
-drowsy, meek bondage, and went to moving-picture theaters or read
-some of Rosenberg’s books during the afternoon, and romped about with
-men every other night, but at the end of the week, the relish in her
-freedom disappeared, and a nervous weariness took its place. She wanted
-to be doing something again, and to feel that she was earning the
-right to her nightly pleasures, and to rid herself of the sense that
-she “didn’t amount to anything” and was just hugging her bed to forget
-about it. To be sure, work was disagreeable and often exhausting, but
-if you had no other gifts, what else could you do? That phrase that
-Rosenberg was always using--“expressing yourself”--it kind of got under
-your skin. Why couldn’t she write things, or be an actress, or learn
-something and teach it to other people, like the men and women whom she
-read of in the borrowed novels? Well, maybe she would some day, if she
-ever found out just how to go about it. She was still a mere girl and
-she didn’t intend to be kept down forever. In the meantime, working
-could prevent her from getting “too blue” about everything--a brisk
-distraction which was the only one within her reach.
-
-She secured a position in a beauty parlor, giving “waves” to the hair
-of young women fidgeting over their allurements, and _passé_ women
-rescuing the vanished or vanishing charm, and on the evening of her
-first working day she met Rosenberg at their usual street-corner
-rendezvous.
-
-“Let’s just have a talk and not go anywheres to-night,” she said, as
-they walked down the glittering hardness of Forty-second Street.
-
-“I’m with you,” he answered, with an elation upon his narrow face.
-
-When a girl didn’t want you to spend anything on her, and yet desired
-to be with you, it was an exquisitely promising sign, and perhaps
-Blanche had begun to fall in love with him. They sat on one of the
-stone benches in front of the Public Library building and beneath one
-of the huge carved lions that guard its portals, and they looked out
-at Fifth Avenue, with its endless stream of crawling, shiny, smoothly
-soulless automobiles and busses.
-
-“Look at all those machines, going somewhere and nowhere at the same
-time,” he said, dreamily. “Don’t they all look important though, all
-rolling along in two directions, and still they’re just filled with all
-kinds of people hunting for an evening’s fun, that’s all.”
-
-“S’pose they are, what of it?” she asked. “You’ve got to get some
-amusement outa life, haven’t you?”
-
-“Oh, if that’s all you’re after then you’re just like an animal,” he
-answered, importantly. “D’you know, sometimes I wonder why people have
-heads--they hardly ever use them.”
-
-“Well, I don’t know--I’ve been using my head some lately but I don’t
-seem to be getting anywheres,” she said, dully.
-
-“Maybe you don’t see where you ought to go,” he replied.
-
-“I cert’nly don’t,” she responded. “’Less a girl knows how to do
-something big, she hasn’t got a chance. Gee, I wish I was clever and
-could put it over, like some girls do.”
-
-“Why don’t you try to write, or go to school and study something?” he
-asked. “You’ve got it in you, Blanche, I know you have, but you just
-don’t believe in yourself.”
-
-“Me--write?” she queried, with a laugh. “Don’t be foolish, Lou. I can’t
-even spell most words straight!”
-
-“You could, ’f you put yourself to it,” he answered. “Piles of times
-you say something with a lot of meaning to it, piles of times, but you
-don’t know what’s in you, Blanche. You need to be pushed along and to
-get some confidence in yourself.”
-
-“Maybe I wouldn’t like to believe you, huh?” she asked, wistfully.
-“I feel like I could do things when you talk to me, Lou, and then
-afterwards it all goes away.”
-
-They were silent for a while, and then she said: “Oh, let’s forget
-about it. We’re sitting here like a couple of dopes and letting off a
-lot of easy talking. Talking, that’s about all I’m good for, I guess.
-Let’s take a bus ride and see the Avenue.”
-
-They boarded one of the green, lumbering busses and sat on the
-uncovered top. He curved an arm around her waist, and she made no
-objections. He had a peaceful, heartening influence on her, and she
-wondered whether it might not be best to marry him, in spite of the
-fact that he was physically negative to her. He might help her to make
-something out of herself. But no, it never worked out. You had to be
-thrilled and light-headed and upside-down when a man touched you, and
-if you weren’t, you’d soon get tired of having him near you, no matter
-how much you liked to hear him talk, and how encouraging he was.
-
-When they lingered in the hallway of her building, she let his embraces
-become more determined, for the first time in many months, moved by
-her troubled compassion for him. Then she stopped him, and gave him a
-sorrowful look.
-
-“I’d like to love you, Lou--I’m not kidding,” she said.
-
-“Aren’t you a lot nearer to it now than you ever were?” he asked,
-eagerly. “Aren’t you?”
-
-“A little bit, maybe,” she answered. “You’re a good boy, Lou, you are,
-and I’m always going to be straight with you. I’ll never tell you
-nothing but the truth.”
-
-They kissed again, and after they had arranged to meet on the following
-Monday he walked down the hallway, wondering whether he should dare to
-hope, and hoping in spite of his wondering.
-
-When Blanche returned from her work, on the next evening, she
-immediately perceived the downcast looks on the faces of her mother,
-Philip, and Mabel, who were seated around the living-room table.
-
-“What’s this, anyway--’n Irish wake?” she asked. “What’s happened?”
-
-“I just couldn’t say nothin’ this mornin’, you’d have been that
-worried,” her mother replied, dolefully.
-
-“Anyway, don’t you read the papers?” asked Mabel. “They’ve got it on
-the second page of the Herald to-night, an’ the Courier, too.”
-
-“Harry’s been called up before the Boxing Commission,” said Philip.
-“He and pa went down this afternoon, and we’re expecting them back any
-minnit now. There musta been a leak somewhere ’bout that fake scrap he
-pulled night before last. They’re after him hot and heavy, and the Club
-wouldn’t pay him off to-day, and I think Rainey’s double-crossed him in
-the bargain. It looks bad all right for poor Harry!”
-
-“Didn’t I know this was going to happen,” Blanche exclaimed. “I did
-think he’d get away with it once ’r twice, though, before they caught
-him. You’ve got to have brains ’f you want to be a crook in this world.”
-
-“Oh, stop this I-told-yuh-so line,” answered Mabel. “Harry was only
-trying to look out for the rest of us, and I’m darn sorry for him.”
-
-“Well, I’m not,” Blanche replied, determinedly. “He needed something to
-take the swelled head out of him, he did, and I’ll say it even ’f he is
-my own brother.”
-
-“I only hope it’ll make all of you listen more to your ma,” said Mrs.
-Palmer. “There’s never no good in tryin’ to make money dishonest-like.
-It’s happy I’ll feel ’f Harry’ll only go to work now, an’ give up alla
-that fightin’ and bummin’ around like he does.”
-
-“Well, Harry’s not down yet, I’m saying,” Philip interposed. “B’lieve
-me, he’ll fix the guys that did him dirty, and he’ll do a good job of
-it, too!”
-
-“Yeh, and get into jail for doing it,” said Blanche, as she walked into
-her room.
-
-“Don’t talk like you wished it on him,” Mabel called after her,
-irritably.
-
-As Blanche changed to a kimono, she tried to feel sympathetic toward
-Harry, but she could not down her sneaking satisfaction at his
-misfortune. Somehow, it was difficult to engender affection toward
-this rough-neck, never-seeing, cocksure brother of hers. Of course,
-a man wasn’t a man unless he used his fists and his voice with a
-hard efficiency, but Harry carried his masculinity to an overbearing
-extreme, and never paid any attention to your side of the question, and
-seemed to have a meanness--a go-to-hell spirit--which could instantly
-be awakened by the slightest opposition. His dishonesty didn’t annoy
-her particularly, but she disliked the lame excuses that he always
-made for it. If he had been an out-and-out hold-up man, she would
-have respected him far more. Oh, well, he was her brother after all,
-and maybe this happening would make him more subdued and considerate.
-Funny, she and her family would be disgraced now, and yet, if he hadn’t
-been found out, they’d still be holding their heads high in the air.
-“Getting away with it”--that was all people ever seemed to care about.
-
-She heard the voice of her father and brother, and went out to the
-living-room. They sat slumped down in chairs, with their hands in
-their pockets, and scowled down at the linoleum-covered floor.
-
-“It gets my goat, that bastard on the Commish, Murvaney, tellin’ me
-‘Y’r a dis-gra-ace to the ring, Mis-ter Palmer.’ Didn’t he wink his eye
-and give Callahan a clean bill when they had all that fuss about the
-welter champ fight? Sure he did! I’d like to have the coin they slipped
-him f’r that little stunt.”
-
-“What’s the use uh beefin’--we’re in f’r it,” his father answered,
-dully.
-
-“What did they do to Harry?” Blanche asked.
-
-“They went an’ barred him from the ring indef’nitely, the skunks,” her
-father answered. “Thomas an’ Rainey only got three months, an’ there’s
-somethin’ rotten somewhere. ’F we find out they flimflammed us we’ll
-make ’em wish they hadn’t! A guy they call Carnavan come down an’ swore
-he’d listened to Rainey an’ me fix it all up in the Club on the night
-of the fight. I saw him hangin’ around that night, I saw him, but
-Rainey said he was a good friend uh his.”
-
-“Those two guys’ll be in the hospital before the end uh the week,” said
-Harry. “Watch what I said.”
-
-“Oh, what good will it do you ’f you beat them up?” asked Blanche. “I
-don’t want to rub it in, Harry, but you’ll get into worse trouble than
-this, ’f you don’t tone down.”
-
-“Keep your mouth shut, that’s all I want from you,” Harry answered.
-“You’re too good to live, you are.”
-
-“Well, I think it’s a darn shame, Harry,” said Mabel, putting an arm
-around his shoulders.
-
-He squeezed her chin, and his scowl lessened a bit--he had a “soft
-spot” for Mabel. She knew that you couldn’t get along in this world
-without being as rotten as the next fellow was, and she appreciated his
-generosity and his manly qualities, and knew that he was usually the
-victim of bad luck and that he hardly ever received a “square deal.”
-Blanche, on the other hand, was a coward, always trying to preach at
-him, and she thought that she was better than he was, and she needed to
-be “taken down.”
-
-“You’re the one in this fam’ly I’m strong for,” he said to Mabel. “You
-c’n have my las’ dime any time you want it!”
-
-“Same here,” Mabel replied. “Blanche is gettin’ too stuck-up these
-days, an’ she thinks she knows it all.”
-
-“Well, she’d better lay offa me,” he said, ominously.
-
-“You just can’t stand it when any one tells you you’re wrong,” Blanche
-retorted.
-
-“How about me, Harry, you know I’m always with you,” Philip said.
-
-“Oh, you’re all right, but you need more guts,” Harry answered. “You
-don’t know enough to go out an’ get what’s comin’ to you.”
-
-“’F I was a scrapper like you, maybe I would,” said Philip. “I don’t
-take any sass from anybody ’f I can help it, you know that, Harry.”
-
-“It’s not right f’r you an’ Blanche to be always fightin’ like this,”
-said Mrs. Palmer, turning to Harry. “It’s I that wish you’d be nice to
-each other, like a brother an’ sister should. I don’t think you done
-right, I don’t, but it’s no good pitchin’ into you now. Maybe you’ll
-be a good, honest boy from now on, maybe you will.”
-
-“You mean well, ma, but you don’t know what I’m up against,” Harry
-answered, as he patted her head in a clumsy, reluctant way.
-
-“You make me sick, Kate,” the father broke in. “Didn’t you an’ me work
-hard f’r years, didn’t we, an’ what did we get out of it, what did we
-get? Nothin’ but trouble, I’ll say! You an’ Blanche leave Harry alone,
-’r you’ll hear from me. He got a bum deal this time, but he’ll be out
-on top, ’fore it’s over.”
-
-“Yeh, I’ve got confidence in Harry,” said Philip, giving his brother a
-look of respect tempered with more secret annoyance. “He knows how to
-handle himself.”
-
-“Well, I don’t want my own boy to get behind the bars, an’ he will ’f
-he don’t behave himself more,” Mrs. Palmer said, in a weakly lamenting
-voice, as she shuffled back to the kitchen.
-
-Blanche, who had no engagement for the night, went to a neighboring
-moving-picture show and saw a film called “Nell of the Yukon,” in
-which a dimpled statuesque actress named Dorothy Darling--a lady in
-her desperately preserved, early thirties--smiled, and frowned, and
-struggled, without subtlety but with much animal abandonment wasted on
-the impossible tale. She played the part of a speckled but not quite
-approachable dance-hall girl in a mining camp in Alaska, and she was
-in love with a handsome young gambler who had incurred the enmity of
-the saloon and dance-hall proprietor. Of course, the gambler was
-the only honest one in the place, and, of course, he protected her
-from the proprietor, whose intentions toward her were, alas, horribly
-immoral, and, of course, the gambler was also loved by another jealous
-dance-hall girl, who became the tool of the unscrupulous proprietor.
-The second girl trapped the gambler in her room and, after he had
-gently repulsed her pleadings, delivered him to the ambuscade of the
-villainous proprietor and his cohorts. He was about to be slain by this
-oddly hesitant and delaying villain when Nell of the Yukon rescued him,
-at the head of a band of his mining-camp friends.
-
-As Blanche looked on at the film, she had an excited interest that
-sometimes lessened to a sense of the absurd. It _was_ “sort uh silly,”
-to be sure, especially that scene where Nell fought against the
-proprietor, in her room, and suffered no casualties except the tearing
-of the upper part of her waist, and the loosening of her hair. No
-girl ever got off that easy when a strapping fellow had her cornered
-and was out to do her wrong! But still, the story was a glimpse into
-another fabricated world, far more enticing than her own, and in her
-eagerness to forget the immediate facts in her life, Blanche devoured
-the colossal unreality of the film with only an occasional qualm.
-Afterwards, as she walked down Ninth Avenue, she had an odd mood--too
-tired to be discontented, and yet carrying the suggestion that life was
-purposeless and that there was “nothing much to it.” The mood stayed
-with her as she rested prone on the bed in her little room.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-
-In the twenties, years slip by with the flimsy rapidity of soap-bubbles
-blown from the breath of time, unless the person experiencing them has
-found an unusually cloistered or passionless existence. As Blanche sat
-in the Beauty Parlor where she worked as a hair-curler, she remembered
-that she was twenty-two and that her birthday was only twenty-four
-hours distant.
-
-The year which had elapsed since her brother’s expulsion as a
-prize-fighter seemed to be little more than a crowded and instructive
-month. As she sat in the Parlor, during an afternoon’s pause between
-patrons, she said to herself: “Gee, here I am, already twenty-two! I’ll
-be ’n old dame before I know it. It’s enough to give you the jimjams,
-it is.” Something that was not wisdom but rather an engrossed search
-for wisdom rested on the smooth plumpness of her face. Again, a light
-within her eyes came near to the quality of self-possessed skepticism
-and shifted against the survival of former hesitations and faiths.
-Life to her was no longer a conforming welter of sexual advances and
-retreats, with moments of self-disapproval bearing the indistinct
-desire “to get somewhere”--thoughts and emotions had snapped within
-her; problems were assuming a more unmistakable shape; the people in
-life were displaying to her more indisputable virtues and faults; and
-a spirit of revolt was simply waiting for some proper climax. Her
-past year of argument and contact with Rosenberg had given her a more
-assured tongue and a more informed head. The books that he had supplied
-her with had now crystallized to specific inducements--tales about men
-and women whose lives were brave, or distressed, pursuits of truth,
-and an ever keener knowledge of each other, and a sexual freedom that
-was not merely the dodging of lust to an eventual marriage ceremony,
-and a dislike for the shams and kowtowings of other men and women.
-Frequently, she invited the scoffing of her family by remaining at home
-and reading some novel until well after midnight, with her eyes never
-leaving the pages. Her sister and brothers, and her parents, felt that
-she was getting “queer in the dome,” wasting her time like that when
-she might have been picking up some fellow with serious intentions,
-or enjoying herself, and though she still went out with men three or
-four nights of every week, the family were beginning to fear that she
-was not a “regular” girl and that silly, unwomanly ideas had gotten
-into her head. In their opinion twenty-two was the age at which a
-woman should either be married or be moving toward that end, and they
-couldn’t understand her apathy in this matter. They cast most of the
-blame on Rosenberg--that dopey mut that she was always afraid to bring
-around had evidently turned her against her family and filled her with
-junk from the foolish books he loaned her.
-
-Even her mother had begged her to stop going with him and had
-complained: “It’s you that’s not me own sweet girl any more. You oughta
-stop traipsin’ around with that Jew boy, you oughta. He won’t never
-marry you, and it’s I that wouldn’t let you, anyways. He’s got no money
-and he’s not right in his head, he’s not!”
-
-Harry had threatened to “beat up” Rosenberg, if he ever saw him, and
-her father had railed at her, but she had seemed to look upon their
-objections as a huge joke, which had angered them all the more but
-left them powerless to do anything except to lock her in her room at
-night--an expedient that could hardly be tried on a twenty-two-year-old
-daughter who earned her own living and could leave the family roof
-whenever she pleased.
-
-On her own part, Blanche had treated their railings with a perverse
-resentment. “I’ll go on seeing him just to spite them--who’re they to
-boss me around,” she had said to herself. In reality, she had lost much
-of her old respect for Rosenberg’s mind and verbal talents, and she was
-beginning to see flaws in his make-up.
-
-“He never does anything but talk--he’s a wonder there,” she had said
-to herself once. “He takes it all out in wind. I’ll bet you he’ll be
-working in that library for the rest of his life, ’r in some other
-place just like it. ’N’ again, he always says he’s going to write big
-things, but I never see him doing it. I’d like to meet a fellow that’s
-doing something--making a name for himself. Gee, ’f I could ever run
-across one of those nov’lists, for instance. That man, Ronald Urban,
-who wrote Through The Fields--wouldn’t it be all to the mustard to talk
-to him! He could tell me all kinds of things I’ve never dreamt of.”
-
-Still, she continued to see Rosenberg because he was the best prospect
-at hand, and because she pitied his longings for her, and to show her
-family that she could not be intimidated.
-
-Harry was still barred from the ring, and the family had lapsed back
-to its old tilts with poverty. Both Blanche and Philip had to give
-part of their earnings toward the maintenance of the apartment, as
-well as Mabel, who had gone to work as a dress-model for a wholesale
-cloak-and-suit firm. She pronounced it “cluck ’n soot,” and affected
-a great disdain for her environs and her Jewish employers, but she
-was not at all averse to dining and dancing with some of the more
-prosperous buyers who frequented her place. Harry had become more of
-a wastrel, and did little except loaf around during the day, with
-an occasional bootlegging venture and sojourns with women, while
-the father loitered about poolrooms and complained of his son’s
-persecution, or sat in poker and pinochle games.
-
-As Blanche lolled in the Beauty Parlor, tinkering with her nails, the
-image of Joe Campbell was in her head. He had ignored her for six
-months and then had bobbed up again on the previous day, and she had an
-engagement with him for the coming night. “It’s no use--I can’t get you
-out of my head,” he had told her over the telephone. “I stopped seeing
-you because I thought you were playing me for a sucker, but go right
-ahead, girlie, I’ll bite again. You’re deuces wild and the sky for a
-limit with me!” “You didn’t get hoarse telling me that for the last few
-months,” she had replied, amused and a little flattered. “Sure not, I
-was trying to forget you,” he had responded. “It can’t be done, little
-girl. Come on now, let daddy act like a millionaire to-night--he’s good
-that way.”
-
-When she had mentioned his call to her family, they had all urged her
-to “make a play for him” and angle for a proposal of marriage.
-
-“He must be nuts about you ’r else he wouldn’t always come back for
-more,” Mabel had said. “I’ll bet you’re always freezin’ him out, that’s
-the trouble. You’ll be a fool ’f you don’t try to land him this time.
-He’s loaded with jack, and he’s got a rep, and he’s not so bad-lookin’
-at that. What more d’you want, I’d like to know--you’re no Ziegfeld
-Follies girl yourself.”
-
-Now, as she sat and polished her finger-nails, Blanche wondered whether
-it might not be best to marry Campbell after all. Most of his past
-glamor to her had been rubbed away, and she saw him as a second-rate
-actor, always laughing to hide what he wanted to get from a girl, and
-drinking and spending his money because he wanted people to believe
-that he was much more important than he really was, and caring nothing
-for the “fine” part of life which she had begun to realize--books, and
-paintings, and such things. Still, if she married him he would give
-her a leisure and an independence in which she could find out whether
-anything was in her or not, and whether she was gifted for something
-better than marcelling hair or punching registers. Then she would be
-able to sit most of the day and just read and think, or maybe go to
-some school and learn something, and meet new kinds of people. How
-could she ever make something out of herself if she had to work hard
-every day, and give half of her limited dollars to her family, and
-listen to their naggings and pesterings? Of course, she did not love
-Campbell, and the thought of continuous physical relations with him was
-not as pleasant as it had once been--somehow, when you began to “see
-through” a man’s blusterings and boastings, his hands and his kisses
-lost part of their thrill--but still, he _was_ physically agreeable
-to her, and it might be idle to hope for more than that from any man.
-He wouldn’t talk about the new things that she was interested in, or
-sympathize with her desires for knowledge and expression, but when, oh,
-when, would she ever find a man who had these responses? Such men lived
-and moved in a different world, and were hardly likely to meet, or to
-care for, a questioning Beauty Parlor girl--they could easily procure
-women who were more their equals. Besides, it was silly to sit and
-mope around and wait for your “ideal” to arrive. You might wind up by
-becoming a dull old maid, with nothing accomplished.
-
-The one thing that counseled against marriage to Campbell was her
-unfounded but instinctive distrust of him. She could never rid herself
-of the feeling that he was secretly cruel and heartless, and that there
-was something “phony” about all of his smiles and laughters, and that
-he was not nearly as intelligent as he seemed to be, but knew how to
-manipulate an all-seeing pose.
-
-The Beauty Parlor was a sweetly smirking, pink and whitish, overdraped
-place, trying so hard to look femininely dainty and insipidly refined
-and still preserve something of a business-like air. Cream-colored
-satin panels were nailed to the walls and pink rosebud arrangements
-shaded all of the electric lights except the green-shaded, practical
-ones placed beside the tables and the chairs where the work was done.
-There were Persian rugs on the hardwood floor, and amateurishly piquant
-batiks, and the reek of cheap incense and dryly dizzy perfume was in
-the air. Outside of three prosaic, ordinary barber-chairs, the place
-had several dressing-tables with long mirrors, enameled in shades of
-ivory and pink with thin, curved legs. Bottles of perfume and jars
-of paste and powder were scattered over the place, and many framed
-photographs of actresses were on the walls, most of them signed: “With
-affection (or with regards) to my dear friend, Madame Jaurette” (some
-of them had cost Madame a nice penny). These picture-testimonials
-had a potent effect upon the Beauty Parlor’s clientele, owing to the
-humorous misconception on the part of many women that actresses and
-society queens alone are acquainted with the mysteries and abracadabras
-of remaining physically young, beautiful, and unwrinkled. Photographs
-of society women were much more difficult for Madame to procure--money
-was of no avail in their case, ah, _mais non_!--but she did have one of
-Mrs. Frederick Van Armen, one of the reigning upper-hostesses of the
-day, which she had secured after a year of plotting, and of pleading
-notes.
-
-The entire shop had an air of sex running to an artificial restoration
-place to repair the ravages of time, or to add an irresistible
-exterior to its youth, but there was something hopeless and thickly
-pathetic attached to the atmosphere. It was sex that had lost its
-self-confidence and its unashamed hungers--sex that hunted for tiny
-glosses and protections, and had a partly mercenary fear and precision
-in all of its movements.
-
-Blanche’s thoughts of Campbell were interrupted by the advent of the
-proprietress, Madame Jaurette, and a young patroness. Madame was fat,
-and too short for her weight, but through the use of brassieres,
-bodices, reducing exercises, and diets, she had kept her curves from
-emulating a circus side-show effect. It was a strain on her nerves,
-however, and she had that persecuted but uncomplaining look on her
-face. Like a great many middle-class, nearly middle-aged French women,
-with very moderate educations, she was a preposterous mixture of
-dense cupidities and romantic sentiments, and while the cupidities
-had their way with her most of the time, they were always apt to be
-knocked galley-west by some gentleman with an aquiline nose, or the
-destitution of some weeping girl. She had a round, almost handsome
-face, with the wretched hint of a double chin that was never allowed to
-go any further, and bobbed, black hair--it didn’t become her but it had
-to be mutilated for business reasons--and she dressed in dark, lacy,
-expensive gowns.
-
-“Ah, Ma’m’selle Palmaire, you will take so good care of Mees White,
-she is vairy fine lady,” she babbled. “Mees White, she always have
-Nanette to feex her hair, but Nanette she is here no more. Ma’m’selle
-Palmaire, she is really ex-pert, Mees White. She will geeve you, what
-you call it?--the curl that won’ come off!”
-
-“’F I’m so good, why don’t you raise my wages once in a while,” Blanche
-thought to herself, but she said: “Sure, I guess I know my work all
-right. I’ll do the best I can for her.”
-
-The patroness was a slim girl with a disproportionately plump bosom,
-a dumbly child-like, near-pretty face, and a great shock of blonde,
-bobbed hair. As Blanche heated the curling-irons, the other girl said:
-“It’s just the hardest thing to keep my hair wavy. It never does last
-more than two or three days. I’ll spend a fortune on it before I’m
-through.”
-
-“Why don’t you get a permanent wave--it’s cheaper in the end,” Blanche
-answered.
-
-“Oh, I’m never able to afford it when I do get the impulse, and then I
-might want it straight again any time. It’s all so much a question of
-what you’re wearing and how you feel, you know. D’you think I look good
-in curls?”
-
-Blanche had no opinion whatever on the subject, but she replied: “Yes,
-indeed, I think they go well with your face.” Patronesses, to her, were
-simply blanks to be dealt with in rotation, unless they exhibited an
-ill-temper or an impatience. A spell of silence came as Blanche bent to
-her task, and then the other girl said: “Don’t you get tired of working
-all day in this stuffy place? I know I could never stand it myself.”
-Blanche was used to this question--women who tried hard to show an
-interest in the beauty-parlor workers but rarely ever really felt it.
-
-“It’s no worse than lots of other things,” she answered. “I’ve got to
-earn my living some way. I won’t be here all my life though, believe
-me.”
-
-The conversation continued in this casual strain, with neither woman
-caring much about what the other said, but with both desiring to lessen
-the tedium of an hour. Two-thirds of all the words that human beings
-talk to each other are merely unaffected protections and tilts against
-an impending boredom.
-
-When Blanche came home from work that night, the members of her family
-were seated at the supper-table. After she joined them they began to
-twit her about her approaching engagement with Campbell.
-
-“Gonna make him buy the license, Blanche?” Harry asked.
-
-“Yes, a dog license,” she answered.
-
-“That’s a fine crack to make against a fellow like Joe,” Harry replied.
-“You’re not good enough f’r him, ’f you ask _me_.”
-
-“’F you give me one of your hankies I’ll cry about it,” she said.
-“Maybe that’ll suit you.”
-
-Harry looked at her dubiously--it sure was hard to “get her goat” these
-days.
-
-“You’re gettin’ sillier ev’ry day,” Mabel said to her sister. “You’ll
-never find another chance like Joe Campbell--they don’t grow round
-on bushes. S’pose you’d rather sit all night ’n’ read one of those
-no-ovuls uh yours. It’s hard to figure you out.”
-
-“In the first place he hasn’t asked me to marry him yet,” Blanche
-answered, “and besides, I don’t see why all of you have to butt into my
-affairs so much. I never tell any of you people what to do.”
-
-“Well, don’t forget, I’m your father, and I’m gonna have somethin’ to
-say ’bout who you hitch up with,” Will Palmer said.
-
-“Nobody’ll stop you from saying it, but I’m no good at being bossed
-around,” she retorted coolly.
-
-“We’ll see ’bout that, we’ll see,” her father responded with a heavy
-emphasis.
-
-This daughter of his was becoming too high-handed, and he would
-probably have to use harsh measures to her for her own good, but as
-long as the matter remained one of verbal exchanges there was nothing
-that he could do about it. Just let her start something, though!
-
-“We’re all jes’ tryin’ to look out f’r you, Blanie dear,” her mother
-said. “You shouldn’t get so uppity about it, you shouldn’t.”
-
-“I can take care of myself--I’ve had to do it long enough, ma,” Blanche
-responded.
-
-“We’ll, I’m with you all the time, and that’s no lie,” Philip said.
-
-He did not understand Blanche to any great extent, but he liked her
-independence (“spunk”) because it spoke to the similar feeling within
-himself which he was too cowardly to express.
-
-“You’re about the only one in this fam’ly who leaves me alone,” Blanche
-answered, with a little dolorous affection.
-
-She knew that Philip was weak and hedging but she was grateful for his
-lack of hard interference and pitied his spineless spirit.
-
-As she dressed to meet Campbell she had a don’t-care, tired-out mood.
-Let them all talk their heads off--they couldn’t prevent _her_ from
-doing what she wanted to do.
-
-When Campbell came up, the rest of her family had departed, with the
-exception of her mother, who greeted him with a timid cordiality. How
-she wished that her daughter would marry this good-natured, prosperous
-man! She herself would have been much better off if she had been more
-prudent in her youth and not so much concerned with this “lovin’ and
-mushin’” thing. Why, any woman could get to lovin’ a man if he took
-care of her, and acted kind and true, and didn’t bother with other
-women, and had a nice, jolly nature. Of course, Campbell _did_ go
-around with a fast, booze-lapping crowd--she knew what those Broadway
-people were, but leave it to Blanche to tame him down if she married
-him. Well, maybe Blanche would come to her senses before it was too
-late.
-
-When they reached the street, Campbell said to Blanche: “What’s on your
-mind, to-night, old dear? You’ve said about six words since I came up.
-You haven’t gone back on me, have you?”
-
-“I don’t feel much like gabbing to-night,” she answered. “I guess I
-won’t be very entertaining to you.”
-
-“Just be yourself, that’s all I want,” he said, as he squeezed her arm.
-He sensed that something might be “going wrong” with her at home, and
-after they had entered a cab he asked: “What’s the matter, your family
-been razzing you any?”
-
-“Oh, they’re always doing that,” she responded. “They’re great ones on
-telling me what I should do.”
-
-“Why don’t you make a break?” he queried. “I’ve always thought you were
-a fool to stay in that rotten dump of yours. It’s no place for a girl
-with any class to be living in, you know that. You could get a couple
-of rooms of your own and do as you please, and sit on the top of the
-world.”
-
-He had an idle sympathy for her, and he felt that she would be much
-more accessible if she were removed from the guardian eyes of her
-family. Funny, how he couldn’t get this girl out of his mind. She had
-a “thoroughbred” touch, a high-headed, brave, exclusive something that
-he had rarely found in women and could scarcely define. It wasn’t her
-looks and she certainly wasn’t particularly talented in any way--it was
-a straightness in conduct and word, and an untouched, defiant essence
-that seemed to cling to the physical part of her. Some women were like
-that--their affairs with men never left any impress upon them. Guess
-they never really gave in to any man--that was it.... Should he ever
-ask this girl to marry him? Marriage--brr! Wasn’t he still paying
-alimony on the first one that he had contracted? No, he’d be willing
-to live with Blanche and give other women “the air,” for some time
-at least, but no more marrying for him. Even this would be quite an
-important concession for a man of his kind, who could have his pick
-of pretty girls every night. His first wife had attracted him just
-as Blanche did, and what had happened? Everything sweet and snug for
-the first six months, and then a first quarrel because she caught him
-kissing a girl in his show--nothing but handcuffs and a prison cell
-ever satisfied _them_--and then more quarrels about where they should
-eat, and what kind of ties he ought to buy, and a dozen more trivial
-frictions. And money--two hundred a week for her expenses got to be
-like two dollars in her estimation. Then he had felt the gradual
-letting down of his desire for her--she had not become less attractive
-but less imperative and more a matter of pleasant convenience. He had
-returned to unfaithfulness, after drunken parties--how could any man
-help it?--and he’d certainly never forget the cheap, blah-blahing night
-when she had burst into a hotel room, with two private detectives, and
-found him with a woman. No more of that kind of joke for him.
-
-These thoughts occurred to him irregularly as he talked to Blanche in
-the cab, and afterwards as they sat in a corner of The Golden Mill.
-
-“You’re a simp to work like a nigger all the time,” he said. “What’s it
-bring you, anyway? Three dimes and a crook in your pretty back, that’s
-about all.”
-
-“It’s easy for you to talk,” she replied. “Tell me how I’d ever get
-along without working?”
-
-“I’ll keep you up any time you say,” he responded, caressing her hand
-that rested on the table, “and don’t think I’m spoofing you, either.
-I’ll give you anything you want, and no strings tied to it. I mean it.
-Don’t think I hand this spiel around ev’ry night! You’ve had me going
-ever since I first saw you--you’ve got the class and I know it.”
-
-She looked at him meditatively--it would be necessary to “call him
-down” for this open proposal, but--just saying it to herself--why
-shouldn’t she be supported by a man? How would she ever get a breathing
-spell otherwise?
-
-“When I take money from any man I’m going to be married to him first,”
-she replied, “and don’t think I’m giving you any hints, either. ’F I
-wanted to be free and easy with men, I’ve had plenty of chances before
-this--plenty. I hate to work at something I don’t care much for, sure,
-ev’ry girl does, but it’s better than living with some fellow till he
-gets tired of you and then passing on to some one else. They’ll never
-play baseball with yours truly ’f she can help it.”
-
-He was divided between admiration for her “spunk” and candor, and a
-suspicion that she might be testing him.
-
-“I’ll stop dealing from the bottom of the deck,” he said, slowly. “I’ve
-known you for two years, now, Blanche, and it’s time that we came to
-some understanding. This loving stuff’s all apple-sauce to me--you
-always think you’re nuts about a girl till she falls for you, and then
-you change your eyesight. I’ve had one bum marriage in my life, and I
-never was fond of castor-oil and carbolic acid on the same spoon. If
-you’ll hook up with me, old girl, I’ll treat you white, but I can’t
-hand out any signed testimonials about how long it’ll last, for you ’r
-me. What’s the use of all this worrying about next week and next year?
-It’s like not sitting down to your meal, ’cause you don’t know what
-you’re going to have for dessert.”
-
-“Well, what’s the proposition?” she asked, surprised at her own lack of
-indignation, and liking his unveiled attitude.
-
-“I’ll get you a swell apartment up in the West Seventies,” he said,
-“and you can put up a bluff at studying something--music ’r acting ’r
-something like that--just a stall to keep your folks in the dark. I’ll
-get a wealthy dame I know to take an interest in you, see? She’ll be
-the blind. She’s a good sport and she’ll do anything for me. You’ll
-be known as a _protégée_ of hers, and your family’ll never know I’m
-putting up the coin. Why, it’s done ev’ry day in the year.”
-
-“So, I’m to be your miss-tress, like they say in the novels,” Blanche
-answered, with a struggle of irritation and tired assent going on
-within her. “I suppose I ought to bawl you out for your nerve, but I
-won’t take the trouble. I’d like to _really_ study something, and get
-somewheres, but I’m not so sure I want to take it like that.”
-
-“What’s the matter, don’t you like my style?” he asked.
-
-“You’re not so bad ’s far as you go,” she replied, “but I don’t happen
-to be in love with you.”
-
-“What of it?” he asked. “You know you like to be with me--that’s what
-counts. Most of this love stuff’s a lot of hokum, that’s all. I never
-saw a couple in my life that stayed crazy about each other for more
-than two years, and that’s a world’s record. If they stick to each
-other after that it’s because they haven’t got nerve enough to make a
-break, ’r for the sake of their kid, ’r a hundred other bum reasons.
-But they’ve lost the first, big kick ev’ry time--don’t fool yourself.”
-
-“I don’t know about that,” she said slowly. “’F a girl finds a man that
-loves her for what she is--her ways of acting and talking--I don’t
-see why they can’t get along even ’f they do get tired of hugging and
-kissing all the time. They’ve got to have the same kind of minds,
-that’s it.”
-
-“We-ell, how’s my mi-ind diff’rent from yours?” he asked, amused and
-not quite comprehending (she sure had acquired a bunch of fancy ideas
-since his last meeting with her).
-
-“It’s this way, you don’t like to read much, real good books, I mean,”
-she replied, “and you never go to swell symf’ny concerts where they
-play beautiful music, and you don’t care for paintings and statues and
-things like that. I never thought much of them myself, once upon a
-time, but I’m beginning to get wise to what I’ve been missing. I mean
-it. I’ve been going around for a long time with a fellow that likes
-those things, and I’m not as dumb’s I used to be.”
-
-Campbell laughed inwardly--doggone if she hadn’t become “highbrow”
-since their last time together! This was an interesting, though absurd,
-turn of affairs. She had probably been mixing with some writer or
-painter, who had stuffed her head with “a-artistic” poppycock, which
-she didn’t understand herself, but which she valued because it was
-her idea of something grand and elegant. Girls like Blanche were
-often weathercocks--not satisfied with their own lack of talent and
-ready to be moved by any outburst of novel and impressive hot air
-that came along. Well, it would be easy to simulate a response to her
-new interests and captivate her in that way, unless the other man had
-already captured her.
-
-“How do you know I don’t like those things?” he asked. “I’ve never
-talked much about them because I never knew they mattered to you.
-I thought you believed that this guy, Art, was a second cousin to
-artesian wells. How was I to know?”
-
-She caught the presence of an insincerity in his glibness.
-
-“’F they’d been first on your mind, you couldn’t have helped talking
-about them,” she replied. “Anyway, ’f I ever went to live with you, I’d
-never do it roundabout, like the thing you had in mind. I’m not much on
-lies and hiding things. When I leave home it’ll be a clean break, and
-anybody that doesn’t like it’ll have to mind his own business.”
-
-“Well, I only wanted to make it easier for you,” he said. “If you don’t
-care whether your family gets sore, or not, it’s all the same to me.”
-
-“Say, you talk as though I’d said yes to you,” she answered. “Don’t
-take so much for granted, Joe. I’ve listened to you like a good sport,
-instead of bawling you out, but I’m not going to rush off with you
-_this_ week.”
-
-“Now, now, I’m not trying to force myself on you,” he said, soothingly.
-
-She _was_ a wary one, and no mistake, but it looked as though he
-finally had her on the run, and it was all a question of whether he
-cared to exert a little more patience and persuasiveness in the matter.
-Of course, he’d continue the game--he had nothing to lose, and it would
-be a distinction to have her lovingly in his arms, and he really liked
-her defiance and her immunity from ordinary wiles and blandishments.
-She was somebody worth capturing--no doubt of that. A degree of cruelty
-also moved within his reactions. Just wait till he had her where he
-wanted her--he’d do a little bossing around himself then, and if she
-didn’t like it....
-
-When they departed from The Golden Mill, the whisky that she had
-had played tiddledywinks with her head, aided by the abrupt change
-from the heated cabaret to the cooler street air, and she felt an
-Oh-give-in-to-him-what’s-the-dif’ mood, and her thoughts grew mumbling
-and paralyzed. She swayed a bit on the sidewalk and he put an arm
-around her waist, to steady her.
-
-“Say, Blanche, don’t pass out on me,” he said, anxiously. “We’ll go
-over to my shack now, that’s a good girlie. I won’t eat you up, don’t
-be afraid.”
-
-“I’ll go anywheres ... give my he-ead a rest ... feels like a rock ...
-that’s funny ... like a ro-ock,” she answered, mistily.
-
-He hailed a cab, and on the way over to his apartment, she leaned
-her head on his shoulder and passed into a semidrowsy state, while
-he caressed her with a careful audacity and smiled to himself. Well,
-well, Blanche Palmer in the little old net at last--what a blessing
-liquor was, if you kept your own head.
-
-When they reached his apartment--two ornate, untidy rooms with mahogany
-furniture, and signed theatrical photographs, and an air of cheaply
-ill-assorted luxury--he wanted her to rest upon one of the couches,
-but her head had grown a bit clearer by this time, and admonishings
-were once more faintly stirring within it. Where was she? Where?...
-In Campbell’s apartment.... So, he’d gotten her there at last. Damn,
-why was everything trying to revolve around her? This wouldn’t do at
-all.... She must ... must ... must get herself together. Tra, la, la,
-what on earth was the dif’? It would be nice to let the whole world go
-hang for one night, and feel a man’s body against hers, and stop all of
-this fighting and objecting. Sweet, all right, sweet, but no ... no ...
-no ... he’d be getting her too easy ... and all he wanted was ’nother
-party with ’nother girl ... she knew ... and she just didn’t love ...
-oh, love, nothing ... better to feel good and be yourself ... but she
-didn’t trust him and she wouldn’t have him ... just wouldn’t have ...
-yes, she would ... no-o ... she’d simply have to pull herself together.
-
-She went to the bathroom and closed and locked the door behind her
-before he knew what was happening--he had been standing in a corner
-of the room and confidently slipping into his dressing-robe. Then she
-plunged her head into cold water, off and on, for the next half hour,
-and found a bottle of smelling-salts in his medicine cabinet and thrust
-it against her nostrils, and loosened her waist. She felt herself
-growing steadier, and the mists in her head changed to a swaying ache
-in which her thoughts regathered, and her emotions became sullen and
-self-contemptuous.
-
-“You’re some boob, you are, letting Joe Campbell dose you up with booze
-and get you to come to his place,” she said to herself. “He almost put
-one over on you this time, you conceited dope. How much respect would
-he have for you if he got you this way? Say, don’t make me laugh.”
-
-In spite of the sick giddiness that still remained within her, she
-became morosely determined to leave the apartment and return to her
-home. If he tried any rough stuff, she’d yell for aid, or break
-something over his head. But he wouldn’t--he’d never risk losing her.
-He’d know darn well that if he tried any movie stunts she’d never see
-him again. Well, maybe she had misjudged him--maybe he was really in
-love with her and too ashamed to admit it. They always put up that
-I-don’t-care-I’ve-got-a-hundred-others bluff, to impress a girl.
-Besides, men always wanted the same thing, and they shouldn’t be blamed
-for that. It was natural.
-
-During the half hour he had rapped repeatedly on the door and begged
-her to come out, and she had ignored his words. Now she opened the
-door and walked slowly into the room. He was mixing a highball, and he
-looked up with a placating smile.
-
-“Well, feel any better now, Blanchie?” he asked, casually. “Sit down
-and rest it off.”
-
-“I’ll say I do,” she answered. “I’m going home, Joe.”
-
-He looked at her intently and saw that at least half of her drunkenness
-had disappeared. H’mm, this was a nice state of affairs. Sweet
-mamma, he’d rather go after a she-fox any day in preference to this
-girl! Well, he would have to renew his caresses and cajoleries--more
-carefully this time. He walked up to her and placed his arms around her.
-
-“Listen, don’t leave me flat now,” he said. “I’m wild about you, dear,
-and I mean it. What’s the use of stalling around all the time? Hell,
-life’s short enough, and the next morning slaps you in the face just
-the same. I’d marry you in a second if I didn’t know that marriage
-never turns out right. Let’s be ourselves, Blanche dear--let’s cut out
-this comedy stuff.”
-
-As he embraced her his words became more sincere than their original
-conception had been--somehow transformed by her smooth closeness and
-his grudging respect for the note of “class” within her.
-
-She tried to thrust him away from her, with wobbly arms, and said:
-“You’ve got to let me go home, Joe, I’m not myself, I’m not. You
-wouldn’t want me to give in to you just because I’ve drank too
-much--not if you love me like you say you do. ’F I ever come to you I
-don’t want to be coaxed--I want to do it of my own accord, and be glad
-about it.”
-
-“I can’t, you’ve got me up in the air,” he answered, trying to embrace
-her again.
-
-This time she repulsed him with more vigor.
-
-“I’d like to see you stop me,” she said. “’F you try it you’ll wish you
-hadn’t.”
-
-She walked to the couch and started to put on her hat and coat. His
-mind began to work swiftly, repressing his impulse to follow her and
-change it to a battle. The determination in her voice might not be
-real--he had subdued other girls by resorting to a mingled physical
-struggle and pleading at the last moment--but he had a hunch that it
-was genuine in her case. She was that rare kind of girl who had to
-be handled with extreme, inhuman care, and who had a fighting spirit
-within her and became sullenly stubborn when she thought that a man
-was trying to force himself upon her. If he controlled himself now,
-it might give him the halo of a “real gentleman” to her, and then
-afterwards she would come to him of her own accord, just as she had
-said. He walked up to her and held one of her hands, gently.
-
-“What do you think I am--a gorilla ’r something?” he asked. “I’d never
-try to keep you here against your will, don’t be silly. I thought you
-didn’t mean it ’r else I’d never have acted this way. You’ve got the
-wrong slant on me, Blanche. I’ll get a cab for you now and see you
-home.”
-
-She looked at him more softly and said: “Maybe I have, Joe, maybe. You
-can’t be blamed ’f you want me, but you’ll just have to wait till I
-come to you myself, ’f I ever do.”
-
-They descended to the street and he rode home with her. He kissed her
-lightly, as they stood in the hallway of her building, and said: “When
-can I see you again, dear?”
-
-“I’m too dizzy to think ’bout anything now,” she replied. “Call me up
-real soon and we’ll make a date.”
-
-She managed to reach her room with no greater heralding than a
-collision with a chair in the kitchen, and after she had undressed
-and turned out the light, she pitched herself upon the bed, as though
-she were violently greeting a tried and deliciously safe friend. For
-a while, fragments of thought eddied through the growing fog in her
-head. Hadn’t she acted like an idiot--like one of those movie queens in
-the pictures, always struggling around with some man, like they were
-ashamed they had bodies? She was alone now--she’d had her way, and she
-was winding up with nothing, nothing except another day of hard word
-at the “parlor,” with a heavy head to carry around. Oh, gee, where was
-the man with a big chest, and a handsome face--it wouldn’t have to be
-pretty, like that of a cake-eater--and a complete understanding of all
-her longings, and a wonderful mind, and ... her head grew blank and she
-fell asleep.
-
-On the next morning she had a virulent headache, and felt thwarted
-and taciturn, and was quite certain that life was a fraud and that
-the future held nothing for her. The mood remained with varying
-intensities, during the next three days, but the resiliency of youth
-slowly drove it away, and on the third night, as she sat in her room,
-preparing for a “date” with Rosenberg, she felt quite skittish and
-intactly hopeful. After all, they hadn’t been able to down _her_ yet.
-She’d get ahead in the world before she was through, and she’d find
-the man that she was looking for, and in the meantime, Mister Campbell,
-and Mister Munson, the stock-broker who had called for her in a
-limousine on the night before last--her birthday--and Mister Rosenberg,
-and all the rest of them, would have to jig to her tunes. She gave an
-idle thought to Munson. He was wealthy, and middle-aged, with a large
-wart on his broad nose, and his conversation ... _his_ money, and _his_
-friends, and what _he_ would do for her. Yet, thousands of girls would
-simply have jumped at the chance to marry him.... All of these men
-were just makeshifts along the way, until she came across the man whom
-she could really love, and where was the selfishness involved?--her
-presence and her talk were worth just as much as theirs, and if they
-were not satisfied, there were no ropes tied to them. She never ran
-after _them_, did she?
-
-Again, she berated herself for having as much as seriously considered
-Campbell’s proposal to live with her and support her--in a couple of
-months at most he would have turned away from her and sought another
-girl, and then what would she have had? A sold-out feeling, and a
-wondering where to turn next, and the whole problem of her life still
-staring at her. And to think that she had been on the verge of giving
-in to him that night at his apartment! She would have to stay away from
-liquor for a while--it might turn her into a rank prostitute before
-she knew what was happening. A girl only needed one good push to throw
-everything to the winds, and she knew her weakness and would have
-to be more on guard against it. When she met a man whom she loved,
-she’d be daring and ardent then and tell the world to go to the devil,
-without even worrying about how long it might last, and not merely
-because booze had made her feel jolly and helpless and overheated. At
-her next meeting with Campbell she intended to tell him that they could
-never be more than pleasant friends to each other.
-
-As for her family, they were a more concrete bug-bear. She knew that
-Harry and her father would become pugnacious if she ever deserted her
-home without marrying a man of their choice, but in a pinch, what could
-they do except strike her, and if they dared....
-
-She emerged from her room, and Mabel, who was sharing a newspaper with
-Harry, said: “I heard you come in las’ night, Blan. ’F it wasn’t five
-bells I’ll eat your gray bonnet. I hope you didn’t let Joe get too
-frisky, though I wouldn’t blame you much if you did. Only he won’t be
-liable to marry you ’less you hold him off--you know how men are!”
-
-“I didn’t see Joe last night, but don’t worry, I wasn’t born
-yesterday,” Blanche answered.
-
-“I guess you’re gonna meet that Jew sissy uh yours,” said Harry. “I’ll
-give him a boxin’ lesson ’f I run into him.”
-
-“That’s all you ever have on your mind,” Blanche retorted. “I don’t see
-that all this fighting of yours has ever brought you much.”
-
-“That’s all right, I’m not through yet,” he responded, with an angry
-look. “You hate a guy that doesn’t let off a lotta cheap gas and
-wriggle his hips.”
-
-As she left the building to meet Rosenberg at the corner drug store,
-two blocks away, she did not notice that Harry was following her. When
-she and Rosenberg had exchanged greetings and were about to cross the
-street, she heard her brother’s voice cry: “Hey, wait a minnit!” and
-they turned around, and she asked: “What do you want, Harry?”
-
-He ignored her and spoke to Rosenberg.
-
-“Your name’s Rosinburg, huh?” he asked. “I just wanna be sure.”
-
-“That’s right,” Rosenberg answered, scenting trouble and wondering what
-turn it would take.
-
-“Well, you keep away from my sister, get me? You’ve been fillin’ her
-head with garbage and turnin’ her against her own people, you have, and
-I’m gonna put a stop to it. You’re a Jew-kike besides, an’ you better
-stick to your own kind and leave our girls alone, see? ’F you know
-what’s good for you, you’ll trot along, now.”
-
-Caution and wrath contended within Rosenberg. This man was a
-professional fighter and gangster, and could probably beat him easily
-in spite of the difference in their heights, but, by God, he wouldn’t
-stand for that kind of insulting interference.
-
-“You bet I’m a Jew, and I’m proud of it,” he replied. “What gives you
-the idea that you can order me around? If Blanche wants to be with me,
-that’s her business and not yours.”
-
-“Well, I’m gonna make it my business,” Harry retorted, doubling his
-fists and stepping closer to Rosenberg.
-
-Blanche, who had been stunned and then inarticulately angry at first,
-glared at Harry--of all the nerve, insulting her escort and handing out
-commands to _her_.
-
-“Are you out of your mind, Harry?” she asked. “What do you mean by
-butting in like this? I’m not a baby and I’ll do exactly as I please,
-and you might as well get that into your dumb head!”
-
-Harry still ignored her and said to Rosenberg: “Are you gonna beat it
-’r not?”
-
-“You notice I’m still standing here, don’t you?” Rosenberg asked,
-trembling a bit, but holding a lurid roar in his head, in spite of the
-sick pain in his breast.
-
-He was in for it--it couldn’t be helped.
-
-Harry immediately punched Rosenberg in the jaw and stomach, in quick
-succession, and Rosenberg reeled back but recovered his balance and
-advanced with a snarl and wildly swinging arms. They fought around
-the sidewalk for the next half minute, while an increasing circle of
-men and women gathered silently about them. The spectators made no
-effort to interfere, but watched with that intent, hungrily curious
-impersonality that usually possesses city crowds in such a situation.
-
-Blanche stood with a numb fear and a helpless anger heavy within her,
-as she nervously twisted her little white handkerchief and tried to
-look over the heads of the spectators. Was there anything in life
-except trouble, and browbeating, and every one trying to pull you a
-different way ... and that vile brother of hers ... she’d fix him for
-this audacity ... poor Rosenberg, how she had unwittingly lured him
-into this mess ... he was more nervy that she had ever given him
-credit for ... perhaps Harry was half killing him ... poor, poor boy.
-
-Rosenberg fought desperately, his courage reviving to an unnatural
-fervor beneath the repeated stinging blows, but Harry was far too
-swift and strong for him, and an uppercut to the jaw finally knocked
-Rosenberg to his knees. At this juncture some one yelled: “Jiggers,
-here comes a cop!” The ring of onlookers broke instantly, and some of
-them sped around the corner and walked swiftly down the side street,
-while others stood about indecisively. Harry promptly jumped into a
-nearby taxicab and was driven away--he had done his job and didn’t mean
-to get arrested for it. Blanche hurried to Rosenberg and helped him
-to his feet, just as the policeman, with the proverbial lateness of
-his kind, strode up to them. Rosenberg’s left eye was discolored and a
-rivulet of blood dropped from his swollen lips.
-
-“What’s all this rumpus about--where’s the fellow that beat you up?”
-the policeman asked, loudly.
-
-For a moment, Blanche was about to betray her brother, but she
-checked herself--what good would it do? Her hand tugged pleadingly at
-Rosenberg’s arm.
-
-“We were walking along when some enemy of his came up and hit him,” she
-answered. “I don’t know who the fellow was.”
-
-“Well, y’r escort knows, all right,” the policeman said, turning to
-Rosenberg. “Who was he, come on, loosen up.”
-
-“I can’t tell you ’cause I don’t want to make any charges against him,”
-Rosenberg answered, slowly. “He started it and I had to defend myself,
-that’s all.”
-
-The officer turned disgustedly to the sprinkling of bystanders.
-
-“Did any of you see what happened?” he demanded. There was a chorus of
-“noes” and “not me’s.”
-
-“Yeh, you always take it in but you get blind afterwards,” he said,
-angrily--he was a new policeman and brassily anxious to make arrests
-and acquire a record. “Go on, beat it now, don’t stand around blocking
-up the corner. And you, girlie, you’d better take him in this drug
-store and have his face fixed up.”
-
-He waved his club as he dispersed the bystanders.
-
-Blanche helped Rosenberg into the drug store, and the clerk applied a
-poultice to Rosenberg’s eye and gave him some iodine for his mouth.
-Blanche felt an enormous pity for him--he was physically weak but
-he was not a coward, and she wished that she could love him, for he
-certainly deserved it. She had a sense of guilt at having caused him
-all this pain and trouble, and she became confused at the impossibility
-of making any amends to him. More kisses and huggings?--they would
-only lead him to an eventual disappointment. Only her love could make
-him happy, and that couldn’t be manufactured, no matter how much you
-respected a man. Oh, darn, was there ever an answer to anything?...
-One thing was certain, though--for his own good she would have to stop
-seeing him. Otherwise, she would only continue to lure him into danger
-without offering him any reward.
-
-On his own part, Rosenberg felt a determined resentment--if he was
-going to get his head knocked off for her sake, she would have to give
-him much more than friendship. There was no sense in fighting for a
-girl who didn’t love you, or refused to surrender herself.
-
-They sat for a moment on one of the drug-store benches.
-
-“You’d better go home now, Lou,” she said. “We’ll get a cab and I’ll
-ride up with you. Your face must be hurting you terribly. Gee, I can’t
-tell you how sorry I am that all this happened, Lou. Harry’s nothing
-but a low-down cur, and if he ever dares to do anything like this
-again, I won’t stay home another twenty-four hours. I’ve simply got to
-show them they can’t walk all over me.”
-
-“Never mind about me, I’ll be all right in a couple of days,” he
-answered. “I’ve got something to say to you, Blanche, but we’ll wait’ll
-we’re in the cab.”
-
-As they rode uptown, they were silent for a while, and then he said
-slowly: “We’ve got to have a show-down, Blanche. ’F I’m going to buck
-your whole family and that rotten gangster brother of yours, I want to
-be sure you’ll marry me, first. I’d be a fool otherwise, you know that.”
-
-“I know,” she answered, despondently, “and I don’t blame you a bit. I
-like you lots, Lou, I’ve told you that enough times, and you’ve helped
-me so much, showing me how stupid I was, and ... I feel blue about
-it. I don’t love you--you give me a sort of peaceful feeling, and I
-like to hear you talk, and I don’t mind your ways ... but that isn’t
-love.... Oh, I’ve tried to love you, but it just wouldn’t come. It just
-wouldn’t.... I guess you’d better stop seeing me, Lou. I’d only bring
-you more trouble, and it wouldn’t be fair to you.”
-
-“I’ll see about it,” he answered, dully. “I wish I’d never met you.
-You’ve never brought me anything but sadness, after all I did for you,
-and there’s no use keeping it up forever.”
-
-“Lou, don’t say that,” she replied. “You know I’ve been honest with
-you. I never made any promises, never, and I’ve always told you just
-how I felt. I’m miserable about the whole thing as it is, and you can
-just bet I’ll never forget you, Lou. I hung on to you all this time
-because I needed you, that’s true, but I’d never have chased you if you
-hadn’t wanted to be with me.”
-
-“Well, it’s over, I guess,” he said, “and talking won’t help it any,
-now.”
-
-He felt a self-disparaging apathy. He had poured out his thoughts and
-ideas to this girl, and set her to thinking as she never had before,
-and this was his reward, eh? The whole world was just a selfish swamp.
-She had taken his gifts because they were needed revelations to her,
-and now she would save her love for some other man, who’d reverse the
-process and plunder her of all she had, and feast on the elastic dream
-of her body. No one ever loved you unless you walked all over them and
-made them worship your highhandedness. He had had a last lesson now,
-and henceforth he would have a cheeky, appraising attitude toward
-every woman he ran across.
-
-After they had traded their farewells--reluctant, empty monosyllables,
-in which each person was trying to say something more and finding
-himself unable--Blanche boarded a Ninth Avenue elevated train and rode
-home, with all of her thoughts and emotions uncertain and sluggish.
-What was the use of living?--you wound up by hurting the other person,
-or else he injured you, with neither of you meaning to do it, and then
-you separated, and accused yourself of selfishness without being able
-to remedy the matter. But this brother of hers--wait till she got
-hold of him! She’d give him the worst tongue-lashing of his life, and
-warn him never to interfere in her affairs again. What did he think
-she was--a doormat? Brother or no brother, he was a cruel, stupid
-man, and things would have to come to an issue between them. She was
-self-supporting and of age, and if her family persisted in treating her
-as though she were a slave, she would have to leave their roof.
-
-As she walked into the living-room of her home, she found her mother
-seated beside the table, darning socks and munching at an apple. She
-threw her hat and coat upon the seamed, leatherine couch, while her
-mother asked: “How come you’re back so soon, Blanie, dear? Ten o’clock,
-and _you_ walkin’ in! I think the world’s comin’ right to an end, I do
-that. D’you have a fight with the man you was with? Tell your ma what
-happened now.”
-
-“Has Harry been back?” Blanche asked.
-
-“No, he never gets back till early mornin’, and so does Mabel, an’
-Phil, an’ your pa. None of you ever stays to home to keep _me_ comp’ny.”
-
-“I know you get lonely, ma,” Blanche answered, stroking her mother’s
-hair for a moment and trying to feel much more concerned than she was.
-“Didn’t Mrs. O’Rourke, or Katie, come down to-night?”
-
-“They did, sure enough, but it’s not like havin’ your own fam’ly with
-you,” her mother replied.
-
-Blanche looked at her mother, reflectively. Poor ma, she _was_ kind of
-stupid, but maybe she had been more intelligent in her younger days and
-had had it slowly knocked out of her. She didn’t get much out of life,
-that was a fact, and she worked hard all the time, and she never harmed
-anybody. Poor ma.... Then Blanche returned to anger at the thought of
-Harry.
-
-“Just wait’ll I see Harry,” she cried. “I’ll tell him a thing or two, I
-will!”
-
-“What’s Harry been doin’, now?” her mother asked.
-
-“He followed me to-night till I met Lou Rosenberg, and then he walked
-up and told Lou to keep away from me, and picked a fight with him. Of
-course he beat Lou up--he knows all the tricks, and Rosenberg doesn’t.
-Then a cop came along, and Mister Harry Palmer ran into a cab, like the
-coward he is! Believe me, I’m going to show all of you, once and for
-all, that you can’t boss me around, and if you keep it up I’ll leave
-home in a jiffy.”
-
-“I jes’ know Harry’ll get into jail yet, with all this scrappin’ uh
-his,” her mother said, alarmedly. “Maybe this Mister Rosinburg will
-have to go to the hospital, an’ then they’ll come after Harry. Did he
-hurt him awful bad?”
-
-“No, he just gave him a black eye and cut his mouth, but that was
-bad enough,” Blanche answered. “The whole thing happened so quick I
-couldn’t do anything about it, and besides, I never dreamt Harry would
-dare to pull a stunt like that. I’m so angry I could punch him if he
-was here!”
-
-“That’s no way to be talkin’ about your own brother,” Mrs. Palmer said.
-“It’s I that don’t think he did right, I don’t, but still, he only
-meant it f’r your own good. You shouldn’t be goin’ around with Jews,
-you shouldn’t, and this fella Rosinburg, he’s been makin’ you act so
-silly-like, with all them books that nobody c’n make head ’r tail of.
-You’re gettin’ to be ’n old girl now, Blanie, you are, and it’s time
-you were thinkin’ of marryin’ a good man to keep you in comfort.”
-
-“Why isn’t a Jew as good as anybody else?” Blanche asked. “I don’t
-love Rosenberg, but believe me, ’f I did, none of you could keep _me_
-away from him. I’m going to stop seeing him ’cause I don’t want him
-to get into trouble all for nothing, but I won’t stand for any more
-orders--I’m a free person, and I make my own living, and ’f I think I’m
-doing right, that’s all I care about.”
-
-“Blanie, you’re talkin’ somethin’ terribul,” her mother answered, sadly
-aghast. “You oughta have more respect for your pa ’n’ ma, you ought. We
-raised you up from a kid, an’ we give you everythin’ we could, an’ we
-only want to see you do the right thing. You’ve got to settle down and
-have a fine, good-looking, Christian fellow, who’s earnin’ good wages.
-Course, you must be lovin’ him first--I’d never want you to marry no
-one you didn’t care for, I wouldn’t, but that’s not everythin’ either.
-I’d like to see you livin’ like a lady, I would, an’ havin’ a fine
-home, ’n’ servants, ’n’ the best uh everythin’.”
-
-“Marry, marry, that’s all you ever think about,” Blanche replied. “You
-mean well, ma, but you can just see so far and no farther. What did
-you ever get out of marrying, I’d like to know? Nothing but work, and
-trouble, and worrying around.”
-
-“That’s why I want to see you do better, that’s why,” her mother
-responded. “It’s I that knows how foolish I was, I know it, and I don’t
-want you to go through all the strugglin’ I’ve had. ’F you marry a man
-like Mister Campbell, now, you’ll live in a swell apartment an’ you’ll
-have the things you want.”
-
-“You don’t know what I want, ma,” Blanche said, sadly. “I want to be
-somebody, and find out what’s the reason for things, and use my head
-for something besides a hat-rack. Any girl can marry and let a man
-use her--there’s no trick in that. I’m tired of being just like other
-people--I want to act, ’r write, ’r paint, and make a name for myself.
-You think a woman shouldn’t do anything except have children and be as
-comfortable as she can. You can’t understand what I’m looking for, ma.”
-
-“It’s I that can’t, it’s all foolishness to me,” her mother replied,
-perplexedly. “I don’t see why a woman should be anythin’ ’cept a good
-wife ’n’ a good mother, ’f she finds a man that’ll treat her right ’n’
-provide f’r her. This bein’ somebody you’re always talkin’ about, I
-don’t see how it’ll ever make you happy, I don’t. It’s your heart that
-counts most, an’ nothin’ else. You never talked like this ’fore you met
-that Rosinburg. I’m glad you’re not goin’ to meet him again.”
-
-“We’re both just wasting our words--let’s cut it out,” Blanche said,
-depressedly, as she walked into her room.
-
-Her mother looked after her with a sorrowful, uncomprehending
-expression. What was her poor daughter coming to, with all this
-unlady-like nonsense, and all this refusing to listen to the counsel of
-her family, who only wanted her to have a happy and respected future.
-Well, maybe she’d change, now that she wasn’t seeing that Jew-fellow
-any more. Jews were human beings, but they were tricky and queer and
-always out after the money, and they had no right to be picking on
-Gentile girls.... Of course, if Blanche didn’t change, then her pa and
-Harry would have to take hold of her. She mustn’t be allowed to go to
-the dogs and ruin herself and her chances. While she, the mother, would
-never let the menfolks abuse her daughter or lay their hands on her,
-she still felt that they would have to act sternly to bring Blanche to
-her senses. It couldn’t be helped as long as Blanche refused to behave.
-
-When Blanche rose on the following morning, Harry was still asleep,
-and they did not collide until she returned from work that night.
-The family were seated around the supper-table, and Mabel looked at
-Blanche, with curiosity and reproach interwoven, while her father
-squinted questioningly at her, and Philip squirmed in his chair,
-like some one waiting for a dynamite detonation. He hated family
-quarrels--you couldn’t agree with both sides and yet you were always
-expected to. He felt that the others were “too hard” on Blanche, and he
-hoped that she would give them a piece of her mind.
-
-Harry had a nonchalant mien which placated the fear within him which
-he did not quite admit to himself--there was something about Blanche
-that he couldn’t fathom, and no matter how much he sought to squelch
-this alien foe, with word and action, it never died--a derided but
-still-threatening specter.
-
-Blanche was silent until she had seated herself at the table, and then
-she burst forth.
-
-“Harry, I’m going to tell you something--’f you ever beat up any one
-I’m with again, and try to order me around, I’ll break something over
-your head! Just try it once more and see what happens!”
-
-“I’ll do that little thing,” Harry answered. “The last person I was
-afraid of, he died ten years ago.”
-
-“That’s just how I feel,” Blanche replied. “’F I’m not left alone from
-now on, I’m going on the war-path.”
-
-“Bla-anie, you mustn’t talk that way, an’ you, too, Harry,” Mrs. Palmer
-said. “I never, never heard of a brother an’ sister carryin’ on like
-this! I do think Blanche oughta listen more to what we tell her, I do,
-but breakin’ things over y’r heads, why I never heard the like of it.
-You won’t help things that way.”
-
-“See here, Blanche, we’ve got to lay down the law to you,” her father
-said. “No more goin’ around with Jews, and no more talkin’ back all the
-time. I’m your father an’ I’m gonna put my foot down. You’re not a bad
-kid, I don’t say that, but you’re too fresh, an’ you think you know
-it all. You better stop readin’ them phony books and pay attention to
-yourself, an’ act like a reg’lar girl.”
-
-“Suppose I leave home, what’ll you do about it?” Blanche asked.
-
-“I can’t stop you from doin’ that, but ’f you do, don’t think you can
-come back here again--not ’less you’re married, anyway,” her father
-replied. “We’ll all be through with you then, an’ you’ll be no daughter
-uh mine.”
-
-“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, Blanche,” Mabel said. “You don’t
-seem to have any sense nowadays.”
-
-“Of course you don’t,” answered Blanche. “All you care about is having
-a good time, and working men for all they’re worth, and hunting around
-for a fellow with money who’ll marry you. I want to do something that
-counts, and I want to look into things. That’s all a mystery to you.”
-
-“Is that so-o?” Mabel asked, bridling up. “I’ve got just as good a head
-as you have, even ’f I don’t go around with a chip on my shoulder, like
-you do, and tell people I’m better than they are. I’m gonna be a rich
-lady and be up in the world ’fore I’m through with the game, but you’ll
-wind up with nothing but that hot air you’re always spouting.”
-
-“Well, I think you’re all too rough on Blanche,” Philip said. “Maybe
-she ought to marry and settle down, but it’s her look-out. ’F she wants
-to make a name for herself, and study something, I don’t see anything
-so awful about it.”
-
-“You’re the best one in this fam’ly, Phil,” said Blanche, with a
-grateful look. “You’re not so wise, but you do believe in letting
-people alone.”
-
-“Yes, you an’ him are twins, all right,” Harry interposed, “but he
-knows enough to keep quiet most of the time, and you don’t.”
-
-“Now, Harry, what did I ever do against you?” Philip asked.
-
-“Not a thing, but you wouldn’t side with Blanche all the time ’f you
-wasn’t like she is,” Harry answered.
-
-The argument went on, with Blanche subsiding to a hopeless silence, but
-as the meal ended, it became more indifferent. Their appeased appetites
-brought the others a brief, sluggish contentment, and they felt sure
-that it was all just a “lot of jawing,” and that Blanche would never
-really revolt--she was a Palmer, after all.
-
-The next week passed quietly enough, with Blanche and Harry casting
-disdainful looks at each other but rarely speaking, and the rest of
-the family persuaded that it might be better to leave Blanche alone
-as long as she failed to do anything definitely objectionable. Then,
-one evening, just after Blanche had returned from work, a loud rapping
-sounded on the front door, and after her mother had responded, Blanche
-heard a gruff voice asking: “Is this where Mabel Palmer lives, huh?”
-When her mother had answered yes, the gruff voice continued: “Well,
-we’re detectives from the Sixth Precinct, and we want to have a talk
-with you people.”
-
-“Oh, Lord, what’s the matter--what’s happened to Mabel?” Mrs. Palmer
-asked, agitatedly, as she entered the living-room, with the two
-detectives walking behind her.
-
-They were tall, burly men, in dark, ill-fitting suits, slouch hats
-of brown, and heavy, black shoes, and one of them had a florid,
-impassive face, while the other was tanned and more openly inquiring.
-They sat down in chairs and looked the Palmers over. Harry and his
-father sought to appear calm and careless but could not repress an
-involuntary nervousness--there were several shady spots in their lives
-that shrank from the impending searchlight, but these bulls wouldn’t
-be acting this way if they really _knew_ anything--while Philip looked
-warmly innocent--they didn’t have anything on _him_--and Mrs. Palmer
-wrung her hands and told herself that all of her dire prophecies had
-been fulfilled. Blanche was curious but undisturbed--little Mabel
-Know-Everything had gotten into trouble at last, but what was it?
-
-“Your girl’s locked up at Arlington Market,” the florid detective said.
-“You know why, don’tcha?”
-
-“My poor little Mabel, what’s happened to her?” Mrs. Palmer asked. “I
-don’t know a thing that she’s done, I swear I don’t!”
-
-“That’s straight, we don’t know what it’s all about,” Harry said, and
-his father eagerly corroborated him.
-
-“Well, we nabbed her this afternoon on Broadway,” the other detective
-replied. “She’s been mixing up with a lotta bond-thieves, and we think
-she’s one of their go-betweens. She’s been seen all the time with
-the brains uh the gang, hanging around cabarets with him. We got him
-yesterday, and we’ll scoop in the rest of them before to-morrow. If you
-people don’t know anything about this, it’s mighty funny you let your
-daughter associate with a gang like that.”
-
-“Yeh, why do you let her run loose all the time?” the florid detective
-asked.
-
-“I’ve always told her not to be so wild, I’ve always,” answered Mrs.
-Palmer, “but she never listened to me. She’s really a good girl
-off’cer, she didn’t mean any harm, but she likes to have men payin’
-attentions to her. I know she hasn’t done anything wrong, I know it.
-She prob’bly thought those men was honest, that’s it, an’ she b’lieved
-all the lies they told her.”
-
-“That’s what they all say,” the other detective replied, gruffly.
-
-“You’re wrong, Mabe’s a straight kid,” Mr. Palmer said. “She got into
-bum comp’ny an’ didn’t know it, that must be it.”
-
-“That’s what _you_ say, but we got a diff’rent idea,” the florid
-detective retorted. “Sure, you’d take up for her, that’s an old trick.”
-
-“I cert’nly will,” the father answered, spiritedly. “’F you’ve got any
-evidence against her, all right, but I’ll have to hear it first ’fore I
-b’lieve it. I’ll take up for my own daughter any time, any time.”
-
-“Sure, I understand,” the other detective said, more amiably. “All we
-know’s that she went around with that gang, hitting up the night clubs,
-but we haven’t connected her with anything yet. It looks bad for her,
-that’s all.”
-
-“We’ll put her through a grilling to-night and find out more about
-it”--the florid detective suddenly turned to Blanche. “What d’you do
-for a living?”
-
-“I work at Madame Jaurette’s Beauty Parlor, on Fifth Avenue near
-Twenty-sixth,” Blanche responded, coolly. “Come down there some day and
-I’ll curl your blond locks for you. They need it.”
-
-The detective grinned and replied: “We’ll look you up, don’t worry.”
-
-“And you, what’s your trade?” he asked her father.
-
-“I don’t do much now ’cause my leg’s on the bum,” Mr. Palmer replied.
-“I used to be a bartender in the old days when we had a little freedom
-in this town.”
-
-“Well, you’d better stop loafing around and get a job,” the detective
-advised.
-
-“I always work when I’m able to,” said Mr. Palmer. “I used to manage
-my boy here, Harry, Battling Murphy--maybe you’ve seen him scrap
-somewheres. He got a raw deal an’ they barred him from the ring, but
-he’ll be back there ’fore long, don’t worry.”
-
-The florid detective looked closely at Harry and then said: “Damned if
-it isn’t Bat’ Murphy himself! I won some dough on you once when you was
-fighting Kid Morley down at the Terrace. Why didn’t you tell us who you
-was?”
-
-“You was askin’ my folks questions an’ I didn’t wanna butt in,” Harry
-replied as he shook hands, warmly, with the detective.
-
-“I hear you been cutting up with a bad gang lately, Bat’,” the other
-detective interposed, in a tone of friendly reproof. “Better cut it out
-and get back into condition again. We wouldn’t like to pull you in,
-y’know.”
-
-“You c’n lay a bet I will,” Harry replied. “I’m no has-been yet, I’m
-tellin’ you I knocked a coupla fellas out at the gym the other day....
-An’ now about this poor kid sister uh mine. She isn’t a bad one, but
-you know how fellas c’n fill a girl up with a lotta phony gab. I don’t
-think she knew a damn thing about what was goin’ on.”
-
-“You can bail her out, all right, when we’re through putting the
-question to her,” the other detective said. “Know any one to go to?”
-
-“Know any one, I’ll say we do,” Harry answered. “Why, Bill O’Brien, the
-Wigwam chief in this district’s a good friend uh the old man, an’ me
-too. He’ll put up the coin in a second.”
-
-“All right, come down to Arlington Market court to-morrow morning,
-ten sharp, when she’s arraigned, and we’ll see what we can do,” the
-detective said, with respect in his voice, as both of them rose. “And
-by the way, who’s this man in the corner?”
-
-“He’s my brother Phil, works in a drug store a coupla blocks away,”
-Harry answered.
-
-“A-all right, I guess you’re all straight enough,” the detective
-replied, genially. “Only, if your kid sister gets out of this, you
-better keep a strict tab on her. She’s a flighty one and no mistake.”
-
-“It’s sure I am that this’ll teach poor Mabel a lesson,” Mrs. Palmer
-said, with a sad eagerness. “An’ to think she’s sittin’ in a cell
-right now. It’s terribul, it is!”
-
-“We-ell, don’t take it to heart, she may be out soon,” the other
-detective answered.
-
-The detectives departed, and after Harry had cautiously opened the door
-and assured himself that they had gone, he came back and said: “We’ve
-gotta get poor Mabe outa this. I’m gonna run over to Tenth Avenue now
-an see ’f I c’n get ahold of O’Brien.”
-
-“I wonder whether they’ve got the goods on her,” his father said. “I
-can’t think a wise girl like Mabel would lay herself open to five years
-in the pen. It don’t seem reas’nable. She musta had the wool pulled
-over her eyes.”
-
-“It’s li’ble to happen to any girl,” Harry answered. “When a girl goes
-out with a guy, how’s she to know whether he’s a crook ’r not? Besides,
-if Mabel was in on it she’d have been flashin’ a roll around here, and
-if she’s got one she’s sure been hidin’ it well, I’ll say.”
-
-“Well, I do think she oughta be more careful ’bout who she goes with,”
-Mrs. Palmer said. “I swear, between Mabel and Blanche, I’m goin’ right
-to my grave, I am.”
-
-“Aw, don’t take on so, Kate,” her husband answered. “Mabel’s not like
-Blanche anyway--she don’t put on the dog an’ tell her folks they don’t
-know nothin’. She jus’ wants to have a good time an’ land a good man
-f’r herself, and she’ll get over this mess all right. She made a
-mistake in the crowd she went with--they prob’bly told her they was
-rich business men.”
-
-“I suppose I’ll have to get arrested before any of you’ll think I know
-something,” Blanche broke in, disgustedly. “I’m sorry Mabel got into
-this fix, but if you try to play men for their money, you’ve got to
-expect that they’ll turn the tables on you, the first chance they get.”
-
-“G’wan, you’re jes’ jealous uh her,” Harry said. “You’d do the same
-thing ’f you had nerve enough.”
-
-“Now, now, this is no time f’r scrappin’,” his father interposed.
-“We’ve got to hustle around to O’Brien an’ see what he c’n do f’r us.”
-
-The two Palmers departed, and Blanche and Philip tried to soothe the
-mother, who had begun to weep and rock in her chair. Blanche felt a dab
-of malice toward her sister--Mabel was so dreamless, and never tried
-to understand Blanche’s hopes and desires, and was always scoffing and
-sneering--but it was swallowed up by a sense of enforced compassion.
-Perhaps Mabel was just a misguided girl whose head had been turned by
-the flatteries of men, and perhaps she would wake up now and begin to
-think, and question herself and her life, to a small degree at any
-rate. In addition, Blanche was relieved at this turn in events, since
-it might distract the attention of her family and make them drop for a
-time their insistence upon marriage, and their naggings about Campbell,
-and their jeers at the books that she read. She went to bed early that
-night, and reclined awake for a long time, spinning her hopes from the
-dark texture of the room. After all, why did she waste so much time in
-arguing with her family? They would never understand her in a million
-years, and they meant well in spite of all of their meanness, but she
-had simply passed beyond them. They wanted her to be like them, and
-share their ideas of happiness and propriety, and they used cruel
-methods and threats without knowing how cruel they were because they
-felt that the end could apologize for the means. It was all inevitable,
-and the best thing that she could do would be quietly to pack her
-belongings some day and move out to some rooming-house uptown before
-they knew what was happening. Then let them rave all they wanted--what
-could they do?
-
-Besides, her leaving would convince them that she “meant business,” and
-most of their bullying was probably due to the fact that they still
-thought that they could force her to obey them. When she was finally
-living in a place of her own, she’d go to some art or dramatic school
-at night--maybe she could learn to draw after all, since she had been
-very clever with sketches when she was a child at school, and still
-poked around with a pencil now and then. Or again, why couldn’t she be
-able to act on the stage, if she were only taught how to handle her
-voice and her limbs. These famous actresses, they hadn’t been perfect
-and accomplished in their cradles, and if she studied English and
-learned how to speak more correctly, she might have as good a chance as
-they had had. Nothing ever came to you unless you had a desperate faith
-in yourself. She would have to work long and hard at these things, she
-knew that, but she worked hard every day as it was, without deriving
-any satisfaction from it.
-
-An image of Rosenberg slipped back to her. Poor boy, wonder what he
-was doing now? She owed a great deal to him, and the only payment that
-she had given had been to jilt him. Was it always as one-sided as this
-between men and women--always a kind of slave-and-master affair, with
-one person taking everything and the other person hanging on because
-he couldn’t think of any one else and was grateful for the scraps that
-were thrown to him? She hadn’t meant to hurt this boy--he had wanted
-feelings that were impossible to her, and her body had often endured
-his hands out of pity, and her only reason for guilt was that she had
-kept on seeing him. But she had needed, oh, she had needed all of the
-spurrings-on, and answers, and thoughts, and beliefs in her, which he
-had poured out--yes, it had been selfishness on her part, but she was
-beginning to think that people could never avoid being selfish to each
-other in some respect, even though they hid it behind all kinds of
-other names and assertions. They _could_ make it aboveboard, though,
-by confessing the unevenness of their relations, and by not demanding
-anything that each person was not compelled to give of his own accord.
-The ideal, of course, would be a man and a woman who selfishly craved
-all of each other, for deeply permanent reasons, in which case each
-one would become a happy plunderer--did such a thing ever quite come
-off?... Her thoughts trailed out into sleep.
-
-On the next morning at the Beauty Parlor, Blanche was distracted, and
-a little uneasy about her sister--after all, the poor kid was just
-conceited and flighty, with no real harm in her--and when Philip came
-in at noon and told her that Mabel had been released, for lack of
-evidence, Blanche was glad that the matter had blown over. When Blanche
-returned from her work that night, Mabel was seated in the one armchair
-in the apartment, with the rest of the family grouped admiringly around
-her. Now that it was all over, they regarded her as something of a
-heroine--one who had tussled with their never-recognized but potent
-enemy, the law, and emerged scot-free--and although they qualified this
-attitude with warnings and chidings, it dominated them, nevertheless.
-The mother remained an exception--she hoped that her daughter would act
-more soberly now, and leave her nightly dissipations, and mingle with
-more honest men.
-
-“Gee, I’m glad you’re out,” Blanche said, after kissing her sister.
-“Did they treat you rough after they arrested you?”
-
-“They wasn’t so bad,” Mabel answered. “They put me through a coupla
-third degrees, first when they brought me in, and then another one
-’bout nine in the ev’ning, tryin’ to trip me up, y’know. They said they
-knew I was a prostitute, jes’ to get my goat, and I started to cry and
-said it was a darn lie--I jes’ couldn’t help it.”
-
-“They pull that off on ev’ry girl,” Harry said. “’F she is one, then
-she’ll own up cause she thinks they know all about it--that’s the game.”
-
-“How’d you happen to get in with a crowd like that?” Blanche asked.
-
-“I didn’t know what they was,” Mabel replied, aggrievedly. “Gee whiz,
-you can’t follow a fella around an’ see what he’s doin’, can you? This
-Bob Sullivan, now, he told me he was a book-maker at the races, an
-ev’rybody I knew seemed to think he was. Then he had a friend, Jack
-Misner, said he was a jockey--a little runt of a guy. Bob swore all the
-time he was gone on me. He’s a nice fella at that, he is, an’ I’m darn
-sorry they got him.”
-
-“Well, you shouldn’t be,” her mother said. “When any one’s dishonest
-they oughta get punished for it, they ought. This world would be a fine
-world, it would, ’f ev’rybody went round and robbed ev’rybody else. An’
-what’s more, I do hope you’ll stay home more now, Mabel dear, an’ keep
-outa trouble, I do.”
-
-“Aw, pipe down, Kate,” her husband broke in. “She’s gotta size up her
-men better fr’m now on, sure, but you can’t expect her to sit around
-here all night. She c’n have all the fun she wants, I don’t mind, long
-as she looks them over more careful an’ don’t swallow all their gab.”
-
-“It’s jes’ no use f’r me to say anythin’,” Mrs. Palmer answered,
-dolefully. “None uh you ever pays any attention to Kate Palmer till
-it’s too late, and then it’s ma do this f’r me, an’ ma do that.”
-
-“I’ll watch out more, ma, I will,” Mabel said. “When I meet a fella
-with a big wad I’m gonna find out how he makes it ’fore I let him take
-me out. A girl’s gotta protect herself, that’s a fact.”
-
-“It wouldn’t hurt you to go out with a few men that work for a
-living--just for a change,” Philip said. “Maybe they won’t take you
-to swell joints, maybe not, but they’ll get you into less trouble all
-right.”
-
-“Don’t wish any uh Blanche’s kind on me,” Mabel retorted. “When I want
-to go to a sixty-cent movie-house, ’r sit down on a bench in the park,
-I’ll have my head tested to see ’f I’m all there.”
-
-Her little, straight nose turned up, and her loosely small lips drew
-together to a tight complacency. Her plump face was more drawn, and
-hollows were under her eyes, and a trace of fright still lingered in
-the black eyes, but the expression on her face was one of rebuked
-but still ruling impudence. She told herself that she had been stung
-once by men--an incredible incident--and would henceforth set out to
-revenge herself upon them. It was all just a fight to see which side
-would get the best of the other, and she wouldn’t be caught napping
-twice. Her goal was to marry a man with money and good looks, and she
-wouldn’t allow anything to deter her. Beneath these determinations,
-sentimentalities and fears, aroused by the shock of her arrest,
-told her that she was flirting too closely with danger, and that it
-might be better to look for a stalwart youth with a laughable “line”
-and a movie-hero face--she was tired, after all, of letting homely,
-slow-tongued fellows kiss and hug her because they spent money to give
-her the gay nights that were due to every girl, and then again, she
-really ought to consider her poor ma, who was always fretting about
-her. Aw, well, she _would_ slow down just a little and stay home
-once in a while, and select her escorts with more of an eye to their
-safety and their physical attraction, and with money alone no longer
-all-supreme, but she would never subside to a back-number--not she.
-Plenty of girls ended by catching rich young men with a dash to them,
-and she could do the same thing if she kept a level head.
-
-As Blanche listened to her sister, a disapproving sadness welled up
-within her--same old Mabel, not a hairbreadth changed. People seemed to
-be born in one way and to stick to it for the rest of their lives. She
-herself had never been quite like Mabel, even when she, Blanche, had
-been much more stupid than she might be now. She had always hunted for
-something without knowing what it was, and had always been “easier,”
-and more unhappy, and more concerned with the “inside” of herself.
-
-“Men and men, that’s all you’ve got on your mind,” she said to her
-sister, softly. “’F you were ever wrecked now on some island, like I
-read about once, with nothing but another girl to keep you company, I
-think you’d go mad. You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself.”
-
-“I’d like to know who would,” Mabel answered. “Why, even you, smarty,
-you’ve got to step out with diff’rent fellas, I notice. I suppose I’ll
-have to excuse myself f’r being a woman, next thing I know.”
-
-“That’s your only excuse,” Blanche said, as she turned away.
-
-“Well, it’s a good enough one to suit me,” Mabel retorted, irascibly.
-
-Blanche walked into her room without replying. What was the use of
-speaking to people when your words went into one of their ears and
-instantly flew out of the other? Her future course of action had been
-determined. If her family ceased to bother her, she would continue
-to live with them, and go to some school at least five nights out of
-each week and reserve the other two for sessions with men and for
-relaxation. She wouldn’t live like a nun, that was ridiculous, but
-she would make a serious effort to master some profession or form of
-expression that would be much higher and more inwardly satisfying
-than doing the same thing with her hands every day. And if her family
-continued to be meddlesome and dictating, she would move out some
-morning when the menfolk were away.
-
-During the next two days her existence was undisturbed. The Palmers had
-been somewhat chastened by Mabel’s arrest, and they had to admit that,
-in spite of the disagreeable mystery that Blanche had become, she _did_
-manage to keep herself out of difficulties. Their confidence in Mabel
-was not as great as it had been, and it affected to a moderate degree
-their temporary reactions toward Blanche.
-
-On the third afternoon, Campbell telephoned Blanche at the Beauty
-Parlor and arranged to meet her that night. She wanted to tell him that
-he would have to remain content with her friendship and that otherwise
-she could not see him again, and that her promise to “think over” his
-offer of an apartment and a shrouded alliance had been caused merely
-by her desperation in the face of barriers that withheld her from her
-desires. She intended to tell him frankly that she had resolved to
-permit him no greater physical liberties than a kiss now and then,
-and that she had made up her mind to reserve herself for the advent
-of an actual love. If he still wanted to take her out under those
-conditions, she’d be willing to see him once a week at most--he _was_
-a jolly sedative in his way--but he would have to show her that he had
-a serious mind and a sincere love for her before she would reconsider
-his pleas. After all, there was such a thing as slowly falling in love
-with a man, if he made you entirely reverse your previous image of him.
-Campbell would never closely approach her ideals, she knew that, but
-perhaps he might make a respectable progress toward it, in which case
-she might accept him as the best real prospect possible to her.
-
-She dressed to meet him that night, with a division of cautious and
-sanguinely impertinent feelings seething within her. As they were
-walking down Ninth Avenue, he looked admiringly at her round white felt
-hat, trimmed with a zigzag dash of black velvet, and her plain yellow
-pongee dress that had an air of subdued sprightliness about it, and her
-long, black coat with squirrel fur at the bottom. These girls, working
-for twenty-five a week, or thirty at most, how on earth did they manage
-to doll up like Peggy Hopkins Joyce? Funny too, they never seemed to
-retain this penny-transforming ability after they were married!
-
-“You look like a million bucks, to-night,” he said. “I’d give a week’s
-salary to know how you do it.”
-
-“Well, listen to Mister Innocent--never heard about instalment plans,
-and bargain hunting, and getting things cheap ’cause you know the head
-buyer.”
-
-“Oh, even at that it’s the world’s eighth wonder to me,” he replied.
-“I’m afraid to take you any place to-night. Everybody I know’ll be
-trying to horn in on us.”
-
-“Why, I thought competition was your middle name,” she said, brightly.
-
-“No, it’s only an alias--too much of it’s as bad as too little,”
-he answered. “Anyway, don’t you get tired of scrimping and putting
-yourself out for clothes all the time?”
-
-“What ’f I do?” she asked.
-
-“Well, you know what I told you time before last,” he said. “I’ll pay
-all the bills and like it, any time you’re ready. You said you were
-going to think it over--remember?”
-
-“Yes, I do,” she replied, soberly. “I’ll talk to you about it later on
-to-night. And don’t call a cab, Joe. Let’s walk a few blocks, for a
-change. You always act like you hated to use your legs.”
-
-“I use ’em enough behind the lights to make up for all the riding I
-do,” he answered, amused.
-
-They strolled over to Broadway, and were silent most of the time, save
-for commenting on some of the people striding past them. When they
-reached the corner of Broadway and one of the Forties, he said: “Say,
-Blanche, a friend of mine, Jack Donovan, ’s pulling a party to-night in
-his place. There’ll be two ’r three chorines from the Passing Gaieties
-show, and a couple of respectable crooks--um, I mean bootleggers--that
-kind of thing. I said I’d be up about eleven-thirty but I won’t go if
-you don’t want to. We could drop in at The Golden Mill and kill time
-until then.”
-
-“Sure I’ll come, ’f it’s not going to be too wild,” she replied. “I
-never was much on those parties where they try to pass you around like
-you was a dish of ice cream.”
-
-“Strictly pairs at Jack’s place, and the same pair lasts through the
-night,” he said. “Stick to the woman you’re with ’r take the elevator
-down--that’s the rule.”
-
-“’F there’s too much booze flowing, that elevator-boy sure must be kept
-busy,” she retorted, with a laugh.
-
-“Oh, we run it ourselves--we’re accommodating,” he said, with a grin.
-
-After they were seated at a table in The Golden Mill and had finished
-half of their highballs, she said: “Joe, I’m going to talk serious to
-you. I was just in a silly mood when I said last time I’d think about
-living with you. It wouldn’t work out--it never does unless two people
-really love each other. ’F I ever fall hard in love with you, Joe, I’ll
-do it in a minute. I’m not afraid, but I don’t love you now. Besides,
-it’s not just a question of some man, with me. I’ve made up my mind
-to try and be an artist or an actress--don’t laugh now--and I wonder
-whether you could help me any.”
-
-He listened to her with chagrin and amusement--going after her was
-like wading for eels, and she certainly had this “higher aspiration”
-bug with a vengeance. These girls now, they were amenable enough
-when their only desires were a good time, fine clothes, and a man who
-wouldn’t give them the shivers, but the moment they started to get this
-“self-expression,” I-want-to-be-different craze, boy, what a tough
-proposition they became. Still, even that could be turned to your
-advantage if you “yessed” it along and insinuated that you alone could
-cause it to succeed. In addition, in spite of his cynical feelings, he
-could not quite down his respect for her determination to struggle out
-of her present life. She was no ordinary girl, that was certain, and in
-a way she was a marvel, in view of the family that she came from and
-the half-dirty, low-down flat in which she’d been raised. She probably
-had no acting ability--they hardly ever did--but you could never be
-sure about _her_; she was little Miss Surprise herself. Well, if he
-could only land her first, he’d be willing to help her along--why not?
-
-He looked at her eager face, that was not quite pretty but boldly
-attractive and well-spaced, and the almost full drop of her bosom
-rising and falling more quickly as she talked, and the restrained
-sturdiness of her lips. Beyond a doubt, he’d give his right hand to
-have her, and yet he couldn’t absolutely tell himself why.
-
-“Well, well, Blanchie’s gone and got stage-struck,” he answered,
-lightly. “You know I’ll do anything for you, you know that, but I don’t
-want to see you wasting your time. This acting game’s a long, hard
-proposition--some get in overnight but they’re damn few in number.
-I know girls who’ve been in it for years, and all they’ve got is a
-diamond ring in pawn and a favorite chair at the booking agencies. A
-girl’s got to have more than ambition to make any one notice her on
-Broadway, nowadays. How d’you know you’re fit to be an actorine?”
-
-“I don’t, but I want a try-out just the same,” she replied. “How’ll I
-ever know what I’m cut out for unless I go to it and see what I can
-do? ’F I turn out to be a frost as ’n actress, I’ll take up drawing
-’r something else. There must be something I can do as good as other
-people, besides working like a nigger every day.”
-
-“Sure there must,” he said, soothingly. “I’m with you all the time--I
-like to see a girl who can think of something else besides putting on
-the glad rags and lifting the glasses. You’ve got the stuff in you,
-and it’s never had a chance to come out, and I’m the one man you know
-who can help you in the acting line, don’t forget that. I’ll get you
-a try-out for some play--just a little part, y’know, where you walk
-across the stage ’n’ say ‘Madame, will you have the tea served now, or
-next Monday?’ I’ll make them take you, too.”
-
-“Will you?” she asked, eagerly. “Say, you’re a brick, Joe!”
-
-“Not my head, anyways,” he said, smiling. “D’you know, I’m really gone
-about you. It took two years to turn the trick--little Joe hates to be
-caught, he does--but ’f I’m not in love with you now, it’s so close, I
-can feel the breath on my neck. Why don’t you hook up with me and let
-me have you meet the right people and push you along? You’re not in
-love with me now, but you like me pretty well at that, don’t you?”
-
-“I do,” she answered, “but I want to find out first whether you really
-mean all of this, and whether you’re really int’rested in the same
-things I am. You mustn’t be angry at this. It’s a serious thing to me,
-and I want to be sure. Besides, ’f you do care for me, why can’t you
-help me even ’f we _are_ just friends?”
-
-“Of course I will,” he responded, with an easy heartiness. “It’s not
-like a business transaction to me.”
-
-If she became more and more dependent upon his assistance, she couldn’t
-hold out forever.... They departed from the cabaret, after another
-highball, and went to the apartment of his friend, Jack Donovan.
-Donovan was a sturdy man of forty, whose five-feet-eleven were
-supported by flat feet and buttressed by the girth of a paunch. His
-head was one-quarter bald and his black hair was wetly combed down, and
-the oval of his face, rising from an almost double chin, was a morbid
-calculation, as though he were weary of his stage-laughs and smiles,
-and wondering what in the devil was so funny about life, anyway, except
-that people liked to pay money to be joshed into believing that it was.
-He did a monologue in vaudeville--one of those acts in which a portly
-“Senator Callahan,” in a frock coat and a high hat, cracks jokes about
-the events and foibles and personages of the day, with many a crudely
-ironical fling at grafting officials and high prices and prohibition,
-with lower puns and slapstick harangues against the prevailing
-immodesty of feminine attire--“They’d wear ’em two feet above the
-knees if they weren’t afraid it would completely discourage a guy.” He
-greeted Joe with an off-hand amiability, and looked at Blanche, after
-the introduction, with a side-long intentness. Joe knew how to pick
-’em, all right--she wasn’t a doll-baby but she had class to her.
-
-The two front parlors of the apartment had an ebony baby-grand piano,
-and Louis Sixteenth furniture picked up at auctions and standing
-beside the squat, varnished products of Grand Rapids--an oak sideboard
-with large, glass knobs and an oak settee. Some bottles and other
-accessories were on the sideboard, and Donovan returned to his
-interrupted task of making a round of cocktails. The other guests
-had already arrived--the two chorus girls mentioned by Campbell,
-and another woman whose occupation might not have desired a public
-announcement, and two business men who dabbled in liquor-selling on the
-side.
-
-One of the chorus girls, Flo Kennedy, looked like the wax clothes dummy
-that can be observed in shop-windows, and hardly showed much more
-animation, except that when she spoke, the figure became slightly more
-crude and less aloof. Her round face was inhumanly symmetrical below
-her dark-brown hair, and its expression was, well, a no-trespassing
-sign, over the composed expectation of masculine advances. She
-wore a short-skirted thing of terra-cotta silk and cream lace, and
-flesh-colored stockings rolled just below the knees, and black pumps.
-Her companion, Grace Henderson, was a short, slender, Jewish girl in a
-jauntily plain black gown, with bobbed, blondined hair and a mincing,
-sensuous glisten on her face--pretty in spite of the tell-tale curve
-at the end of her nose. The third woman, Madge Gowan, was silent and
-dark, with a half-ugly, long face, whose shapely cheeks and chin partly
-diminished the opposite effect, and a fully curved, strong body.
-
-One of the business men, Sol Kossler, a Jew in his early forties, was
-roly-poly and half bald, with a jowled, broad-nosed face on which
-smug and sentimental confidences were twined--one of those merchants
-who succeed more through luck than because of hard shrewdness--while
-the other, Al Simmonds, was robust but not stout and had a shock of
-wavy black hair, and the depressed face of a man who knew that he was
-hoodwinking himself, in his life and thoughts, but could not spy any
-other recourse. In their neatly pressed and creased gray suits, both of
-the men looked as though their objective were the immaculate erasure of
-individuality.
-
-The conversation reverberated with continual laughter. The men expected
-each other to utter wise-cracks, and digs at each other’s weaknesses,
-and humorous tales, and each one was constantly egging the other on
-to self-surpassing retorts. The women were not expected to do much
-except listen, and laugh or smile at the right places, and join in the
-intervals of more placid gossip about theatrical people, and indicate
-a sexual responsiveness without becoming demonstrative (sex would have
-been boresome to all of them without the assumption of gayly parrying
-uncertainties, even though they knew in advance what the night’s
-outcome would be, pro or con).
-
-To Blanche, they were an emptily hilarious lot, out for the usual
-things that men and women wanted from each other, and merely laughing
-and idling on the way to them--not at all interested in the big,
-serious things of which she had had a revealing glimpse--but they
-_were_ funny at times, and it _was_ pleasant to be a young woman
-patently desired by men, and the chance to be amused and self-forgetful
-for one night was not to be sneezed at. She joined in the repartee
-between Kossler and Donovan.
-
-“I hear you sold some shirts to Mayor Kelly the other day,” Donovan
-said. “One more vote shot to hell.”
-
-“I voted for him last time when he bought them from Sax and Mulberry,”
-Kossler retorted. “Li’l’ Sol can’t be corrupted, ’less it’s some one of
-the other sex, and even then, corrupted wouldn’t be exactly the word,
-y’know.”
-
-“Yes, interrupted would be better there,” Donovan replied, as the
-others laughed.
-
-“Why d’you want to vote for a fellow like Kelly?” Blanche asked. “He’s
-just a wind-bag--always telling how much he’s going to do for the
-public, but that’s where he ends.”
-
-Kossler lifted his eyebrows--women were not supposed to be interested
-in politics (middle-aged club-women, and professionals in both parties,
-and socialists excepted).
-
-“Now, girlie, what d’you know about it?” he asked, indulgently.
-“They’ve all got to promise a lot--that’s in the game--but old Kelly’s
-better than the rest of them at that. He’s dead honest and he can’t be
-bought.”
-
-“So’s ’n elephant,” Blanche retorted. “You can buy one cheap at the
-Bronx zoo and put him up at the next election.”
-
-Donovan looked pityingly at her and said: “My Gawd, another socialist.”
-
-“I’m not, but I come from the Hell’s-Kitchen district and I’m wise to
-politics, all right,” Blanche answered.
-
-“Everything you say is right with me,” Simmonds interjected. “It’s a
-foxy-pass, anyway, to argue with a woman at a party--you’ll end up by
-singing: ‘Sitting in a co-orner, that’s all I do-o.’”
-
-“Maybe it is,” said Blanche, while the others laughed.
-
-Flo and Grace regarded her with a petulant suspicion--she was of the
-smart, snippy kind, and furthermore, she’d better not try to go after
-_their_ men; they’d pull her hair out if she did.
-
-“Now, you all stop razzing my Blanche,” Campbell broke in. “She’s just
-a little girl trying to make both ends connect in the big, wicked city.”
-
-“Razzing her!--it’s just the other way,” Simmonds said. “D’you ever
-balance a hot coal on the tip of your nose?”
-
-“It only looks that way--I was out on a party last night,” Campbell
-replied. “I heard a good one, though, the other day. Tom Jarvey was
-walking along the street, and he runs into Hammond, the village
-cut-up. ‘I hear you was seen walkin’ with your grandmother the other
-day--that’s a nice thing to do,’ said Hammond. Jarvey comes back: ‘She
-didn’t look that way when I married her--you know how it is.’”
-
-The rest of them laughed, and Grace said: “That’s like the husband I
-ditched last year. He was a prize-package until I saw him putting his
-false toofies in a glass uh water one night. Hot snakes!”
-
-“Let’s call it a draw and put the phonograph on, and fox-trot,” Flo
-said.
-
-The party broke into dancing, with regular intervals in which rounds
-of cocktails circulated. The silently dark woman sat on a couch, with
-a fixed smile, and occasionally chatted with Donovan, and seemed to be
-outside of the party, as though she were viewing it with a satiated and
-good-natured patience. Blanche sat beside her for a short time.
-
-“You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself,” Blanche said, “or maybe this
-is how you do it.”
-
-“Oh, I’m a good listener, and I don’t dance if I can help it,” Madge
-Gowan replied. “I’m not down on the world, it’s not that, but I like to
-sit in the audience now ’n’ then. It’s fine for your nerves and you get
-a different slant at what’s going on around you.”
-
-“I’m a little like that, myself,” Blanche answered, “but this is my
-night for mixing in, I guess.”
-
-Campbell pulled her away for another dance, and she reflected on the
-dark woman, through the touch of haze forming in her own head. Was that
-the way you became around thirty-five, if you couldn’t stay blind to
-the world and the people in it?
-
-The party became more boisterous, and the innuendoes grew warmer and
-less attired, and the chorus girls sat beside Kossler and Simmonds and
-exchanged kissing and impolite embraces that were not quite direct.
-Donovan had his head on Madge Gowan’s shoulder, while she caressed his
-hair. Blanche, who was standing beside the phonograph, with Campbell’s
-arm around her waist, felt confused, and merrily indifferent to
-everything except the unsteady exaltation in her body and the singing
-carelessness of her emotions. As she had done so many times before,
-she made an effort to pull herself together and resume some portion of
-her secret wariness, but the effort was a weak one, this time, and her
-“silly,” lightly unarmored feelings persisted and grew stronger.
-
-“Let’s leave, Joe dear, I’m so-o-o diz-z-zy,” she said.
-
-“Sit down a while, you’ll feel better,” he replied, leading her to the
-couch.
-
-The two chorus girls departed with Kossler and Simmonds, after a
-loudly gay _mêlée_ of words had flown back and forth, and Blanche, by
-this time, was too limp and dazed to bid them good-bye. When Donovan
-returned from the front door, Blanche had slumped back upon the couch,
-and Campbell said: “Darned if she hasn’t passed out, Jack.”
-
-Donovan grinned at his friend.
-
-“We’ll put her on the bed in the spare room and let her sleep it off.
-I’m going to turn in, now, with Madge. Don’t do anything your mother
-wouldn’t approve of, Joe.”
-
-Madge Gowan rose and looked steadily at Campbell.
-
-“How about leaving the poor kid alone, to-night?” she asked.
-
-“Don’t be foolish, she’s ’n old flame uh mine,” Campbell answered.
-“We’ve been crazy about each other for more than two years now.”
-
-“Well, let her sleep with me, anyway,” Madge persisted. “You can see
-her to-morrow morning.”
-
-“Now Ma-adge, don’t butt in where it’s not needed,” said Donovan
-chidingly.
-
-“Yes, cut out the guardian-angel stuff,” Campbell said, in a careless
-voice. “She’s ’n old sweetie uh mine, I’m telling you.”
-
-Madge turned and looked down at Blanche, in a dully sad way.
-
-“Oh, well, it’s no business of mine,” she said.
-
- * * * * *
-
-When Blanche woke up on the next morning, she looked at the strange
-room with an uncomprehending, ferocious ache in her head. Then, in a
-detached fashion, incidents of the past night began to bob up in her
-head, and she pieced them slowly together, in a stumbling, erratic
-way. She’d met Campbell and gone to a party with him, and then she had
-become drunk and everything had grown slowly darker. She remembered
-vaguely that she had begged him to take her home.... Then, an
-indefinable stirring within her heart told her what had happened....
-So, he had sneaked off, afraid to face her now--the coward, the coward.
-But perhaps he was still in the place, and ... where was she, anyway?
-She opened the door and walked unsteadily down the hallway. Yes,
-this was the same parlor where the party had taken place--same piano
-and furniture. Perhaps Campbell was sleeping in another room in the
-apartment.
-
-She returned to the room that she had left, and sat down. The pain
-in her head gave an added edge to the anger within her. The skulking
-meanness of it--oh, she’d love to break his head in two! Then another
-voice within her said: “You know perfectly well that’s what almost any
-man’ll do, ’specially ’f he’s drunk, as well as you are. Don’t act like
-a school-kid--you knew it all the time, but you kept on drinking last
-night, long past your limit ... fool.”
-
-Her anger against Campbell subsided to a more practical disgust. If she
-had loved him, she would not have minded this finale, but as it was she
-felt like a swindled imbecile. Campbell would have to be put in his
-place once more, and treated with a cool aloofness. He had benefited by
-an accident wedded to her own weakness, and the only grim satisfaction
-left would be to ignore him from now on. She didn’t blame him,
-particularly--all men seemed to be cut out of the same stuff--but it
-would have to be impressed upon him that his victory had been an empty
-one, and that she was still her own mistress. After all, she still felt
-intact and undisturbed--it would take more than a dozen Campbells to
-break her spirit--and she would sever her relations with him merely as
-a matter-of-fact self-protection.
-
-When she had washed, and dressed herself, she walked back to the parlor
-and pulled back the shades at the window, and looked down at the street
-far below. It was crowded with people and vehicles--the hour might be
-around noon. She glanced back at a clock on the top of the sideboard.
-Eleven-thirty--she would have to telephone the “Parlor” and give them
-the old illness-excuse.... Where had every one disappeared to--where
-was Donovan, who lived in the apartment? She heard the front door
-close, and she sat down, waiting, and shrinking a little ... she didn’t
-care to meet any one at this exact moment. Campbell walked into the
-parlor, and when he saw her, he greeted her with a solicitous joviality.
-
-“We-ell, there she is--fresh as a daisy ’n’ everything,” he said. “I’ve
-bought some stuff and we’ll cook breakfast on Jack’s little electric
-stove. He’s still dead to the world, I guess.”
-
-She rose from the chair, without answering, and walked to the hallway,
-where she removed her coat and hat from the rack and started to put
-them on. He followed her and dropped a hand on her shoulder.
-
-“Now, what’s up?” he asked.
-
-“We’re never going to see each other again,” she replied, “and I’m not
-very anxious to talk to you. I don’t blame you for anything, but you’re
-not the kind of a man I’m looking for. You’re just no better ’r worse
-than most people, that’s all. I’d feel just the same about it ’f you
-hadn’t acted like you did. I held on to you because you could make me
-laugh and forget my troubles, but I knew it couldn’t last much longer.”
-
-“Don’t act like desp’rate Tessie in a movie-film,” he said. “Come on,
-sit down and let’s talk it over. Nothing so terrible has happened.”
-
-“I’m not worrying about what happened,” she answered. “’F I cared for
-you I wouldn’t give it a thought. I don’t, though, and there’d be no
-use in risking a second dose of the same fool stunt. We’ll call it
-quits now, and stop seeing each other.”
-
-“Well, I’ve got something to tell you, and it won’t hurt you to sit
-down a minute and listen,” he urged.
-
-“All right, just a few minutes, and then I’ll be going,” she said,
-wearily.
-
-They sat on opposite chairs in the parlor, and as he looked at her, an
-irresistible impulse came to him. She certainly did have a marvelous
-spirit and independence--no girl of his acquaintance had ever acted
-with such a careless, untouched remoteness on the morning after,
-unless she was a plain hooker--not in a way that convinced you of
-its genuineness, at any rate--and, strangely enough, as he sat here
-now, she was still as desirable as she had ever been. Well, guess he
-would have to take the plunge--you couldn’t resist it forever. The old
-chain-and-jail wind-up.
-
-“I want you to marry me, Blanche,” he said. “I’ll go down to the
-Municipal Building with you this afternoon, and we’ll get the license.
-I mean every word of it. You’re an ace-high full to me and I can’t give
-you up. I guess I’ve always been in love with you, but I didn’t want to
-admit it to myself. You’ll marry me to-day and we’ll live happy ever
-afterwards, just like they do in the books.”
-
-He looked at her with a confident, admiring smile, as though her assent
-were predetermined. She arose and smiled pityingly at him, as she
-tucked her hair beneath her hat.
-
-“Listen, Joe, I wouldn’t marry you on a bet,” she replied. “You
-prob’bly think I’ve been egging you on to ask me all the time, and
-there’s where you’ve made a big mistake, Joe Campbell. ’F I ever marry
-any man I’ll have to be wild about him, and ’f I am, I won’t even care
-so much whether he marries me ’r not. And, what’s more, I’ll have
-to have a pile of respect for his mind, and I’ll have to feel like
-listening to what he says, all the time.”
-
-He stared at her, without answering.
-
-“Well, it’s no use talking any more,” she said. “So long, Joe, I’m
-going now.”
-
-He had expected that she would first doubt the sincerity of his
-proposal and then eagerly accept him. He still believed that she was
-merely leading him on, to revenge herself, and that all of her words
-had been said for their effect, and that she only wanted him to be
-persistently begging and humble. He followed her into the hallway, and
-caught her arm.
-
-“I’m sorry for what happened last night,” he said. “I’ll make it up to
-you, Blan. I mean it, dear. I’m crazy about you, and I want to make you
-happy, and I’ll do anything you say. Why, I’ll even stop drinking, if
-you say the word. You’ve just got to marry me, you’ve got to, Blanche.
-You know you care for me, you know you do.”
-
-“You’d better guess again, Joe,” she said, coolly, as she broke away
-from him. “I’m not going to see you again, and what’s more, don’t
-pester me with any ’phone-calls ’r letters, either. It won’t do you a
-bit of good.... Good-bye, and good luck, old boy.”
-
-It gave her a surface thrill to slap his face in this dramatic and
-careless fashion. He thought that he was a precious catch, didn’t he?
-Well, he might lose some of his huge conceit after she had finished
-with him.
-
-He caught her arm once more.
-
-“Come on, you’ve razzed me enough now, haven’t you?” he asked. “I’ve
-been taking it like a man, but don’t smear it on so thick. Come on, be
-good to me, Blanche.”
-
-She broke away again and walked swiftly down the hallway. He started
-after her and then halted, still and perplexed, as she reached the
-door. Then a rage quickly possessed him--imagine, this hussy turning
-_him_ down after he had been really anxious to make amends.
-
-“All right, then, you can go to hell for all I care,” he called after
-her, as she was passing through the doorway.
-
-She made no reply as she slammed the door behind her--he could have
-said that immediately and spared himself the trouble of his other
-words. These men, they thought that all they had to do was to utter
-the magical words--ma-arry me--and a girl would be delighted at the
-rare, luring condescension and instantly fall into their arms. Well,
-perhaps he wouldn’t be quite so conceited from now on--the cheap
-sneak. When she married a man it would be soberly and of her own free
-will, because she longed to hear his words, and be physically near
-him, and because she looked up to his mental gifts, and good taste,
-and re-fine-ment. Oh, ye-es, in a way she was an idiot for not having
-accepted _Campbell’s_ proposal, since he could certainly have given the
-leisure and opportunities which she craved, but ... she’d be damned if
-_she_ would ever marry a man just because she was ashamed to leave him
-on the day after a drunken party!
-
-After she had telephoned the “Parlor” and told Madame Jaurette that she
-could not come down because of an intense toothache, she returned to
-her home. Her mother had gone to the butcher shop and Mabel was sitting
-alone in the living-room.
-
-“Well, sma-artie, where’ve you been all night?” Mabel asked. “Ma was in
-a awful stew about you--she was gonna call up the p’lice, but I stopped
-her. An’ _pa_, he’s gonna ask you _some_ questions when he gets back,
-believe me.”
-
-“What’s all the fuss about?” Blanche asked, wearily. “I went to a wild
-party and passed out, and they had to let me sleep there overnight.”
-
-“An’ Joe Campbell, he got lost in the crush, ’r else he went back to
-his place to sleep, I s’pose,” Mabel answered, sarcastically. “You c’n
-tell it to ma but not to me. I never thought you’d give in to him that
-easy, Blan. He hasn’t asked you to marry him, has he?”
-
-“Yes, but I turned him down,” Blanche replied.
-
-“Turned him down--well, of all the fool things,” Mabel cried. “I’ll bet
-you’re jes’ sayin’ you did ’cause you don’t want to admit what a simp
-you’ve been.”
-
-“No, it’s true ... he wanted to marry me right this afternoon.”
-
-Mabel was silent for a moment, as she regarded her sister with an
-irritated surprise, and then she said: “You’ve got me guessing. Here’s
-a fine fella, not so bad-lookin’ either, an’ you’ve been goin’ with
-him, off and on, f’r over two years, an’ he’s got loads of money, an’
-... you won’t marry him. There’s darn few fellas that’ll ask a girl
-right after they’ve slipped one over on her. What’re you waitin’ for,
-anyway?”
-
-“Not for anything you could understand,” Blanche responded. “When I
-marry a man I’m going to love him first--that’s what you can’t get into
-your head--and it’ll have to be real love, too, and not just because he
-has a handsome face and knows how to kid now and then.”
-
-“Then why’d you stay with Joe last night?” Mabel asked. “’F you’re so
-darn up’n the air about it, you didn’t have to peel your clothes off
-f’r a fella you don’t care about.”
-
-“I passed out of the picture, and the next thing I knew it was
-morning,” Blanche said, trying to be patient with this querulous,
-unseeing sister of hers, but feeling a rising strain.
-
-It was bad enough that it had happened--why did she have to paw over
-the details?
-
-“Well, he played a dirty, rotten trick on you then,” Mabel answered,
-indignantly, “an’ ’f it was me, I’d sure get back at him some way. ’F I
-didn’t wanna marry him, then I’d scare him outa his wits an’ make him
-come across with plenty uh money, I would. ’R else I’d see he was sent
-to the hospital f’r a nice, long stretch.”
-
-“It was my fault just’s much as his,” Blanche replied, dully. “No man’s
-’n angel, and a girl shouldn’t get drunk with him ’f she doesn’t want
-to go the limit. I can usually take care of myself, but I took too many
-cocktails last night. I was feeling blue and forgot when to stop. ’F
-you want to do me a favor, then you’ll talk about something else. I’ll
-never see him again, and he doesn’t matter to me.”
-
-“Try an’ talk to you,” Mabel responded, disgustedly. “The last person
-you ever look out f’r is yourself. You ought to be sent to the
-booby-hatch!”
-
-Blanche went into her room without answering ... what was the use?
-Mabel meant well enough, but she couldn’t see that money and gay times
-and “getting back” at people were not the only things in the world.
-
-When her mother returned, Blanche pretended to be asleep, and she
-remained upon her bed until evening, with all her thoughts darting
-about and then hopelessly evaporating, and with occasional intervals of
-semi-drowsiness. When she came to the supper-table, where the remainder
-of her family were seated, the firing started.
-
-“Well, give an account uh yourself,” her father said. “Where was you
-till twelve this morning?”
-
-“I stayed with some friends,” Blanche answered--she wasn’t _afraid_
-to tell them the truth, of course not, but she wanted to avoid the
-senseless wrangling, and the loud accusations, and the outraged advice
-that would ensue if she did. “I drank a little too much and I had to
-sleep it off, that’s all.”
-
-“An’ how about Campbell--was he with you?” her father asked, gruffly.
-
-“He was gone when I woke up this morning,” Blanche answered, seeking
-only to brush aside her father’s words.
-
-“Well, it sounds damn fishy to me,” her father replied. “’F he did
-anything wrong to you I’ll have it out with him, and he’ll have to
-marry you then, ’f he knows what’s good f’r him.”
-
-“That’s what I say,” Harry broke in. “I like Joe all right, but he’d
-better go slow with any sister uh mine, I don’t care ’f he was the
-Gov’ner himself!”
-
-“You’re getting terribly concerned about me all at once, aren’t
-you?” Blanche asked, speaking to Harry. “You’d better not jump at
-conclusions--you don’t know a thing about it.”
-
-“I’ll make it my business to find out,” Harry answered, looking
-steadily at her.
-
-“Well, I’m gonna stick up f’r Blanie this time,” Mabel said. “You’re
-both makin’ a big fuss about nothin’, an’ what’s more, you’ve got
-no right to be sayin’ she’s a bad girl. You oughta be ashamed uh
-yourselves. All she did was stay overnight with some people she knew
-’cause she wasn’t in no condition to come home. I’ve done it myself,
-once ’r twice, an’ you never waded into me. Blanche may be a nut in
-some ways but she’s not fool enough to let Joe Campbell put it over on
-her, an’ you oughta believe her.”
-
-Blanche gave her sister a grateful, surprised look--Mabel did have a
-good streak in her, in spite of her blind reproaches.
-
-“I’m not accusin’ her of anythin’,” the father said, impressed by this
-defense from his favorite daughter. “I only wanted to find out what
-happened, like any father would. ’S a matter uh fact, you’d both better
-cut out all this booze you’re swillin’. ’F you don’t, you’ll wake up
-some fine mornin’ an’ find yourselves in f’r it.”
-
-“An’ they oughta stay home more, too,” the mother said, breaking in
-with her endless complaint, not because she hoped to effect anything,
-but merely to maintain her position. “I was worried to death, I was,
-when I got up this mornin’ an’ Blanie wasn’t here. You never can tell
-what’ll happen to a girl, you never. Don’t I read all kindsa things in
-the paper ev’ry day--murders ’n’ rapes ’n’ what not!”
-
-“I’ll see that they stay home--they’re runnin’ too loose to suit me,
-these days,” the father replied.
-
-He knew that he would do nothing of the kind, but the words soothed his
-sense of authority.
-
-When the supper was finished, Blanche put on her hat and coat, and
-said: “I’m going out for a walk. I’ll be back early, I guess.”
-
-“You’d better,” her father responded. “I won’t swallow another stayin’
-over with friends story, this time.”
-
-Blanche turned away without replying--words, words, and what did they
-all amount to? Threats, and promises, and “reasons” ... and people
-scarcely ever meant them.
-
-After she had left the apartment she strolled aimlessly up one street
-and down another, craving the motion that could add a fillip to the
-dullness of her thoughts. Would she ever meet people who could help
-her, and who would understand her longings and prod her with worthwhile
-criticisms and encouragements--people, for instance, as superior to
-Rosenberg as Rosenberg had been to the rest of the men whom she knew?
-How could she run across them?... As she walked along, different men
-stopped beside her for a moment, with their “Nice evening, isn’t it?”
-and “You look sorta lonesome, how about it?” and “Pardon me, but
-haven’t I met you somewhere before?” and “D’you mind if I talk to you
-a while?” Sometimes they called to her from automobiles, but they were
-merely irritating reminders of a real and grossly intruding world,
-and she ignored them--it never paid to take a chance, for they always
-turned out to be common and cheap. It stood to reason--why would an
-enticing man be so “hard up” that he would have to solicit women on the
-street?
-
-She didn’t know where she was going, but she wanted to imagine that she
-was searching for some destination that would greet her unexpectedly--a
-vague, half-laughed-at hope--and she kept on strolling down the hard,
-flatly dirty, noisy streets.
-
-
-
-
-PART TWO
-
-
-
-
-PART TWO
-
-
-The night became thickly intense, and all the angular details and flat
-expanses of each street--neither hideous nor beautiful but vapidly and
-rigidly perched in between--took on the least touch of glamor. Some
-semblance of a darkly plaintive heart began to sway and quiver within
-the scene, as though the essence of all these human beings pacing down
-the sidewalks and sitting or standing in shops, cars, and restaurants,
-had joined the night and formed another quality--expectations,
-illusions, and promises, all electric in the air. The harshly dreamless
-industries and shallow loiterings of the day were replaced by an effort
-at romance, soiled but persistent, and a sensual pride preening itself
-with gallantries, and a confusion of cruel or softly dozing confidences.
-
-The moving-picture theaters, in dots of red, yellow, blue, and
-green light, made proclamations of spurious, quickly attained love,
-adventure, and suspense; the United Cigar Stores, framed by red
-and gold, displayed their mild, brown opiates, while within them
-deferential clerks catered to jovial or importantly sullen men and
-women; the restaurants, with food heaped in their windows, and
-glistening fronts, were filled with people intent upon turning a
-prosy stuffing into an elaborate, laughing ritual; and even the Greek
-lunch-rooms, with their stools beside half-dirty glass counters, and
-nickel coffee-urns, assumed a hang-dog grin.
-
-Taxicabs in all the cardinal colors darted about, like feverish insects
-serving human masters, and the people in them--lazy, or impatient,
-or bored, or out for a lark--made a blur of faces sometimes glimpsed
-more distinctly as the cabs stopped or slowed down. Policemen in dark
-blue uniforms stood at street-crossings, with tired aggressiveness,
-looking for a chance to invest their flunky-rôles with a rasping
-authority. Motor-trucks lurched along like drab monsters barely held in
-leash. Lights were everywhere--in shops, on iron poles in the streets,
-mellowly staring from upper windows--desperately seeking to dismiss
-the darkly fearful mystery of the surrounding night, but never quite
-overcoming it.
-
-Street-cars and “L” trains crawled on, soddenly packed with under-dogs
-going to their dab of rest or crude pleasure. A roar was in the air,
-with immediate, sharp sounds trailing out into it--a complaining,
-shackled savage floating up from the scene. The large buildings were
-without individuality, except that some of them rose vertically above
-the others, and in their dull shades of red, brown, and gray, they
-would all have presented a yawning, meanly barrack-like effect but for
-the relieving fancy of their lights. Even the perpendicular strength of
-the skyscrapers was marred by filigreed and overcorniced lines.
-
-To Blanche, the scene was a _mêlée_ of delightful possibilities always
-just eluding her, and obnoxious intrusions only too ready to seek her
-arm. She realized the transforming effect of the night and said to
-herself: “Say, I’d never do all this walking if it was daytime--funny,
-how everything gets more attractive when the night trots along. Guess
-you can’t see things so clear then.... Better chance to kid yourself
-along.”
-
-As she strolled through the outskirts of Greenwich Village her legs
-began to feel heavy, and the past hour seemed to be nothing more than
-a long, senseless walk taken within the confines of a large trap. The
-light, hazy sensation of searching oozed slowly out of her body and was
-replaced by the old hopelessness.
-
-She stopped in front of a batik-shop window and looked at the soft,
-intricately veined gaudiness of the smocks, blouses, and scarves.
-“Sorta crazy, yes, but she’d like to wear them--they suited her mood.”
-Another girl was standing beside Blanche, and the other turned her head
-and said: “Aren’t they beauties, though. I’d just love to buy that
-purple and green smock there in the corner.”
-
-“I like the blue one better--the one right next to yours,” Blanche
-answered naturally, but she looked closely at the other girl.
-
-It was not unusual for strange girls to speak to you when they were
-either lonely or just brightly interested in some little thing, but
-still you had to be careful--sometimes they were “fast” players with
-men, in need of a feminine accomplice, or grafters intent on securing
-some favor or loan. The other girl had a slender torso and almost
-slender legs, with all of her plumpness crowded in the buttocks and
-upper thighs. She had singed butterflies on her face and they gave a
-light, fluttering pain to her smiles. She had the rarity of large blue
-eyes on a duskily pale brown face, and small, loosely parted lips,
-and a slight hook on the upper part of her nose, and curly bobbed
-brown hair. In her tan coat trimmed with dark fur, scarlet turban, and
-multicolored silk scarf, she seemed to be a dilettantish, chippy girl,
-just graduated from the flapper class.
-
-Blanche noticed something “different” in the other girl and answered
-her more readily as they continued their talk.
-
-“D’you live in the Village?” the other girl asked.
-
-“No, I’m from uptown,” Blanche answered. “I’ve heard lots about it,
-though. I’d like to meet some of the int’resting artists and writers
-down here. There must be all kinds of them in the tearooms and places
-like that.”
-
-The other girl gave her a pitying look.
-
-“All kinds of fakers, you mean,” she replied. “They know how to brag
-about themselves, but that’s where it ends.”
-
-“But I thought this was the part of town where real artists ’n’ writers
-came together,” Blanche persisted. “Of course, I didn’t believe they
-were all great ones, but I did believe they were all trying to do
-something, well, different, you know.”
-
-“Oh, there _are_ some down here, but you don’t usually find them in the
-showplaces or tearooms,” the other girl answered, as she and Blanche
-walked down the street. “Those places are for the mediocrities, and
-the pretenders, and the students ... and, oh, yes, the slummers. People
-from uptown hunting for something gayly wicked.”
-
-“I suppose you think I’m a foolish slummer, too,” Blanche said, “but
-I’m not. I’ve just been walking along and thinking things over. I
-didn’t realize where I was.”
-
-“I wasn’t being personal,” the other girl replied. “I sort of like the
-way you talk. Suppose we introduce ourselves to each other?”
-
-They traded names and the other girl, Margaret Wheeler, went on: “You
-know, strangers are always supposed to distrust each other, but I can’t
-be annoyed. Every once in a while I talk to some girl on the street,
-and I’ve started a couple of interesting friendships that way. I’m not
-a Lesbian and I haven’t any other designs upon you.”
-
-“Why, I don’t distrust you at all,” Blanche answered. “I can take
-care of myself and I suppose you can, too. You talk like you were
-intelligent, and I’d like to know you better, that’s all.”
-
-“Thanks,” said Margaret. “I would be fairly intelligent, if I didn’t
-let some male make an idiot out of me every few months. I’m in love
-with some one now, but it’ll wind up like all the others.”
-
-“You make me feel envious,” Blanche replied. “I don’t think I’ve ever
-really loved any fellow.”
-
-“Are you joking?” Margaret asked.
-
-“No, that’s straight.”
-
-“Well, I’m going on twenty-five now, and I couldn’t count the
-infatuations I’ve had. I’m not as easy as I used to be, though. Once
-upon a time, if a man had a straight nose, and blond hair, and could
-recite poetry and make me believe it was his, that was all I needed.
-But no-ow, a man must have some real subtlety, and ability, and
-wittiness, before I pay any attention to him.”
-
-“That’s just the kind I’ve been looking for,” Blanche answered. “Where
-on earth do you find them?”
-
-“Nowhere in particular--it’s a matter of luck. And don’t forget that a
-girl must be unusual herself before she can attract unusual men, unless
-they’re just anxious to have a party with her.”
-
-“Yes, that’s where I’d lose out,” Blanche said, heavily. “I’m just a
-ha-air dresser in a beauty parlor, that’s all.”
-
-“You certainly don’t talk like one. Maybe you’ve never had much of a
-chance to be anything different.”
-
-“You said it”--Blanche’s voice was low and depressed.
-
-“Well, I’m only a steno myself,” Margaret answered, “but I’m taking a
-course in short-story writing at Herbert College--three nights a week.
-I want to tear off the old veils and tell what people do to each other.”
-
-“Say, maybe I could join it, too,” Blanche replied, eagerly. “I’m not
-so strong on grammar, though--stopped in my first year at high and went
-to work.”
-
-“Oh, you can pound _that_ part of it into you. The main thing’s whether
-you have something to say--something that’s not just ordinary and
-hackneyed.”
-
-“I think I have, but ... how do I know,” Blanche asked, uncertainly.
-
-They had stopped in front of a tearoom with a multicolored wooden sign
-under an electric light.
-
-“Here’s Clara’s--one of my hangouts,” Margaret said. “I’m going in to
-meet my blond-haired devastator. Won’t you come along?”
-
-“Perhaps I’ll be in the way.”
-
-“Nothing of the kind--I’ll introduce you to some of the people I know.”
-
-They entered the place, which occupied the first floor of a two-storey,
-attic-topped, brick house. Kitchen tables and chairs painted pale
-green and vermilion lined the walls. Paintings and drawings were hung
-everywhere--cubistic plagiarisms, slovenly sketches, and illustrations
-meant for the average magazine’s check book but not quite reaching
-it--and a semidim light came from stained-glass bowls hung from the
-low ceiling. Some fifteen men and women were scattered around the two
-rooms, and a portable phonograph in the corner was whining one of the
-latest fox-trot insinuations--“He Never Gets Tired of Me, No, Boy, Just
-Never Gets Tired of Me-ee.”
-
-Three men and a woman at a table effusively greeted Margaret, and after
-she had introduced Blanche, the two girls sat down with the others. The
-third girl, Dora Ruvinsky, was an unsymmetrically fat Jewess, with a
-thin-lipped but salacious face and a shorn disorder of black hair. Her
-sex had yielded to a cunning nightmare of masculinity, and she wore
-a stiff white collar, a red cravat, and a man’s vest and coat. She
-spoke in a husky drawl and perpetually slapped the shoulders of the
-men beside her. They regarded her with tolerance contending against a
-slight aversion.
-
-One of them, Max Oppendorf, a blond-haired man of thirty, plied her
-with whisky from a hip-bottle and strove to trap her into feminine
-reactions and remarks, as though he were coldly and listlessly
-playing with a desperately hypocritical insect. His narrow, pale,
-blue-eyed face glanced around the tables with pity and repugnance
-somehow fused into its expression. A recognized poet and novelist,
-he was nevertheless known as a distinguished outcast, ostracized,
-attacked, and hated by literary and dilettantish groups of every
-variety because of his skillful-tongued independence, his careless
-violations of etiquettes and conventions, and the ravages of his
-unorthodox intellect. His clothes were shabby but not quite untidy,
-and as he frequently closed his eyes while speaking, he displayed the
-contradictory guise of an aristocratic vagabond.
-
-Men almost invariably detested him, while the reactions of the women
-who met him were evenly divided into a distrustful resentment in one
-camp and a loyal adoration in the other. His armor was invulnerable,
-save when he became hopelessly drunk, in which condition he either
-savagely denounced and affronted the people around him or became
-unwontedly indulgent and gave them simulations of sentimentality and
-affectionate attention. These abdications sprang from his innate
-indifference to life and most of its people. Sincerely believing that
-most men and women were beclouded, unsearching, and cruelly _gauche_
-children, alcohol made his indifference to them more indulgently intent
-upon distracting itself, and, when drunk, he stooped to them with loud,
-mock-arguments, and exuberant caresses. He felt a moderate degree of
-tenderness toward Margaret Wheeler, who appealed to him as an honest
-grappler, more unreserved and mentally edged than most other girls of
-her age and occupation. She was violently in love with him, and they
-spoke together in tones that were almost whispers, and stroked each
-other’s hands.
-
-The second man, Bob Trussel--a gorgeously effeminate youth who was
-known in Village circles for his not-quite-Beardsleyesque black and
-whites--conversed with Dora, while the third, Ben Helgin, talked to
-Blanche.
-
-Ben was a robustly tall man in his early thirties, with a huge,
-half-bald head, and dark-brown hair inclined to be frizzly. His long,
-pointed nose, severely arched eyebrows, and widely thin lips gave him
-the look of a complacent, pettily cruel Devil--a street urchin who had
-donned the mask of Mephistopheles but could not quite conceal the leer
-of a boy intent upon practical jokes and small tormentings. He was
-a master in the arts of dramatic exaggeration and belittling, never
-quite telling the truth and never quite lying, and his immeasurable
-vanity made him always determined to dominate any conversation. He had
-an Oriental volubility, and people would often sit beside him for an
-hour or more and vainly seek to insert a beginning remark or express an
-uninterrupted opinion.
-
-One of his favorite devices was to tell anecdotes about men of his
-acquaintance, in which the men were invariably depicted in a childish,
-ridiculous, or inferior posture, while he gloated over and embellished
-the details of their fancied discomfiture, with a great assumption
-of sympathy for the victims. Living in a dream-world entirely of his
-own making, he loved to flirt with visions, conquests, world-shaking
-concepts, and child-like boasts. On one morning he would appear among
-his friends, describing some plan or idea with a cyclonic enthusiasm,
-and on the very next afternoon no trace of it would remain within his
-mind. Again, he would loll in an armchair and announce that a famous
-actress of forty had implored him to reside with her and to become the
-leading man in her next play, but he would neglect to mention that the
-lady in question was renowned for her generous impulses and included
-truck-drivers and cigar-clerks in her overtures. These impositions
-caused most people to regard him as an eel-like _poseur_, when they
-were removed from the persuasive sorceries of his words, and they
-failed to see that his gigantic egotism had sincerely hoaxed itself
-into the rôle of a flitting and quickly ennuied conqueror.
-
-For years he had followed the luring dream of amassing a large fortune
-through the creation of dexterously dishonest stories, plays, and
-press-agent campaigns, and while he had accumulated thousands of
-dollars in these ways, the dream of wealth persistently refused to be
-captured. He lacked the grimly plodding, blind instinct necessary for
-such a goal, and his financial harvests were always quickly gathered
-and dissipated. This babbling immersion in the garnering of money,
-however, gave him the paradoxical air of an esthetic Babbitt.
-
-His serious literary creations were original and sardonic at their
-best, but frequently marred by a journalistic glibness which led him
-into shallow and redundant acrobatics, or facetious saunterings.
-
-He had known Max Oppendorf for nine years, and they had passed through
-a comical fanfare of recriminations, friendly invitations, sneers, and
-respects. Oppendorf secretly disliked him but was at times fascinated
-by his charming pretenses of _camaraderie_, and the quickness of his
-mind. At one time, the poet had broken off with Helgin for three
-years--a withdrawal caused by his discovery of the other man’s peculiar
-and somewhat incredible sense of humor. Penniless, and afflicted
-with incipient tuberculosis, Oppendorf had written to his friend and
-asked for the loan of two hundred dollars. A special-delivery letter
-had flown back to him, containing an unctuously sympathetic note and
-announcing the enclosure of a two-hundred-dollar check. The rest of the
-envelope had been empty, however, and believing that the absence of the
-check was merely an absent-minded error, he dispatched another letter
-which apprised his friend of the oversight. In response, Helgin had
-sent him the following telegram: “It was a nice joke--hope you enjoyed
-it as much as I did.”
-
-Helgin had a sincere admiration for the other man’s work and a veiled,
-malicious aversion to the poet’s personal side. To him, Oppendorf’s
-life held a supreme taunt which had to be demolished with falsehoods
-and ridicule. The poet’s unbroken flaunting of moralities, conventions,
-and compromises, reminded Helgin that his own life had not been equally
-courageous and defiant, in spite of his endless written shots at
-average people and their fears, and that, in his personal existence,
-he had frequently prostrated himself before the very observances which
-he pilloried, or laughed at, in his books and conversation. This
-specter could only be slain by the effort to jeer at the opposite man’s
-episodes with men and women, and to hold them forth as clownish and
-unrewarded capers.
-
-As Helgin sat now, in the boisterous and tawdrily glassy tearoom, he
-spoke to Blanche with the gracious casualness which he always publicly
-affected with women. It was a part of his jovially invincible pose to
-insinuate that he could have been a perfect libertine had he chosen
-to follow that denounced profession, and that his enormous sexual
-attractiveness was held in bondage only by his lack of desire and his
-ability to peer through the entire, violent fraud of sex itself. In
-the dream-world of his own making, through which he moved, loftily but
-genially immune to all criticisms, adulations, and importunities, women
-were the potential vassals whom he disdained to hire.
-
-On the night previous to the present one, his second wife had departed
-on a visit to her family in a distant city, and he had telephoned
-Oppendorf and arranged a meeting, prodded by one of the irregular
-impulses in which his respect for the other man overcame his opposite
-feelings of envy and aversion. Now, he sat and chatted with Blanche
-while she listened with an almost abject attention. This great writer,
-whose pictures she had run across on the literary pages of newspapers,
-and in magazines, was actually seated beside her and speaking to
-her--it could scarcely be true! She recalled that Rosenberg had often
-lauded Helgin, and that a year previous she had read one of the latter
-man’s novels and had liked its “difficult,” thumb-twiddling style
-and disliked its patronizing, pitying attitude toward the feminine
-characters. Well, when men wrote about women, or women about men, they
-never seemed able to become quite fair to each other. They were always
-mushy and lenient, on one side, or sneering and unsympathetic on the
-other. She voiced this thought to Helgin, who advised her to cease
-searching for an unhappy medium. To him, she presented the figure of
-a worried, heavily questioning peasant girl, dressed and manicured
-for a more polite rôle, and he had a whim to lure her into expectant
-admirations and play with her stumbling hungers and wonderings.
-Usually, he did not waste his time on such girls--they were more to
-Oppendorf’s liking--but for the space of one night he could afford to
-risk the impending boredom in a more unassuming manner.
-
-“You must get Oppie to compliment you,” he said, glancing in the poet’s
-direction. “He does it perfectly. Women cry for it, babies smile, old
-ladies jump out of their chairs. Come on, Oppie, say something about
-Miss Palmer’s hair. What does it remind you of? A startled ghost of
-dawn, the visible breath of afternoon?”
-
-Oppendorf turned from his whisperings with Margaret, and smiled--a
-patient but slightly threatening smile.
-
-“Are you ordering a tailormade suit or buying a box of cigars?” he
-asked, sweetly.
-
-“The comparison isn’t quite fair to your poetry, Oppie,” Helgin
-answered, in the same sweet voice.
-
-“Monseigneur Helgin, apostle of fairness, sympathy, and tolerance--know
-any other good ones, Ben?”--the poet’s smile shone like a sleeping
-laugh.
-
-“Your hair is like a tortured midnight--that was a nice line, Oppie,”
-Helgin answered pensively, as he ignored the other man’s thrust.
-
-“The actual phrase happens to be ‘transfigured midnight,’” Oppendorf
-said, in an ominously subdued voice. “You substituted the word tortured
-to make the line meaningless, of course.”
-
-“Sa-ay, wasn’t that tormented night stuff in The Duke of Hoboken, Ben’s
-last novel?” Dora Ruvinsky asked, poking Oppendorf in the side.
-
-“Yes, among other frantic mendacities,” Oppendorf answered, as he
-looked compassionately at Helgin. “The ancient Chinese had an excellent
-proverb: ‘When your stilettos have failed to penetrate the actual
-figure, erect a ludicrous dummy and belabor it with an ax.’”
-
-“The Chinese usually come to your rescue,” Helgin retorted, “but you
-don’t seem to realize that The Duke of Hoboken is simply a gorgeous and
-delirious fantasy. It wasn’t meant to be an actual portrait of you.”
-
-“Yes, you were more innocent than you imagined,” Oppendorf answered,
-still smiling.
-
-“Oh, stop all of this polite quarreling, Maxie,” Margaret interposed,
-as she looked at Helgin with an open dislike. “Helgin sits in his
-little phantom palace, bo-ored and genial, and when you cave in the
-walls he scarcely hears you.”
-
-“Your own hearing is just a trifle more adoring, isn’t it?” Helgin
-asked, as he looked at Margaret with an expression of complacent malice.
-
-“Yes, it needs to be, if only to counteract yours,” Margaret replied,
-tartly.
-
-“Call it a draw, and let’s talk about purple chrysanthemums,” Oppendorf
-interjected.
-
-When people persisted in clinging to one subject he was always reminded
-of scrubwomen endlessly scouring a pane of glass, unless the theme was
-exceptionally complex.
-
-“Dear me, can’t I say something else about the sweet Duke?” Trussel
-asked, as he stroked his hair with the fingers of one hand. “It’s
-screamingly amusing, really. Lots of the critics have always attacked
-Mr. Helgin’s books, you know--called them stilted and, well,
-overcynical. That sort of thing. But no-ow, dear me, what a change!
-Why, they’re all simply showering praise on the dear Duke of Hobok’.
-Of course, there isn’t any connection between this change and the
-fact that little Dukie is supposed to be a biting caricature of Mr.
-Oppendorf.”
-
-“No, of course not,” Oppendorf replied, thoroughly amused now. “In the
-same way, three thoughtful chorus girls were observed last night,
-floating in a huge balloon as they crossed the peninsula of Kamchatka.”
-
-“People are always talking about the dead,” Helgin said, in a bored
-voice. “The indecent vagaries of critics are not interesting to me.
-They might be vastly engrossing to some entomologist, though.”
-
-“Oh, you’re all a lot of bugs,” Dora said, as she caressed Margaret’s
-arm while Margaret regarded her with a resigned look that said: “Well,
-I suppose you _must_ do this.”
-
-“You’re crazy, and you take yourselves so darn seriously it gives me a
-pain!” Dora continued. “Come on, let’s have another drink and act like
-human beings.”
-
-The conversation changed to a game in which the others bantered with
-Dora and laughed at her amiable but scoffing retorts. Blanche, who had
-been bewildered and almost awe-stricken ever since her introduction to
-these people, began to listen and observe with a clearer, though still
-strongly respectful, attitude. They were the people whom she had always
-longed to meet, and they knew much more than she did, and they were
-bold creators while she was only despairing and partly tongue-tied,
-ye-es, but still, they were by no means perfect. They wasted so much
-time in slamming each other as cleverly as they could, and while they
-were always good-natured about it, you couldn’t fail to spy the malice
-beneath at least half of their smiles and remarks. They never expressed
-any whole-hearted liking, or sympathy, or placid interest in their
-reactions toward each other, and their talk reminded her of a game
-in which each one strove to make his “comeback” a little “smarter”
-and quicker than that of the others. Yet Oppendorf alone seemed to be
-different. The others, with the exception of Margaret, were always
-trying to twit or arouse him--something about him seemed to plague them
-almost against their will--and never quite succeeding. His eyes were
-sleepy and retiring, and he closed them half of the time during his
-conversation. When he laughed or raised his voice now and then, it was
-in a jerky way, “like some one else” was pulling some strings tied to
-him. Funny man ... what had given him this air of tired sadness? Well,
-at any rate, she could never fall in love with him--he was too much
-like a careful ghost!
-
-The man whom she loved would have to be robust, and natural, and, well
-... sort of eager to be alive, in spite of the fact that he knew all
-about the shams and meannesses which life held. Yes, that was it ...
-he’d be glad, and a little hopeful, in spite of all the rotten things
-he saw and heard.
-
-She began to talk more frankly, her tongue loosened a bit by the two
-drinks of whisky that Oppendorf had given her.
-
-“Say, why don’t all of you just call each other liars and boobs, and
-have it over with?” she asked, with a smile.
-
-“At an early age, I was confronted by the choice of using the other
-side’s tactics now and then or becoming a hermit,” Oppendorf replied,
-in his deliberate way. “I am still direct enough, however, to be
-ostracized by practically every literary party or group in New York.”
-
-“I admire your indignation,” Helgin said to Blanche. “Ride us all on a
-rail and tell us what vicious double-dealers we are.”
-
-He had decided to egg her on for purposes of entertainment. “It
-wouldn’t have the least effect on any of you,” Blanche answered,
-composedly. “Besides, I’m only a stranger and I really haven’t any
-right to criticize. You’re all doing things--real things that amount to
-something--and I’m just a hair-curler in a Beauty Shop.”
-
-“Listen, here’s a tip--never be modest when men are around,” Margaret
-said, gayly. “They think little enough of women as it is, and they’re
-_always_ looking for a chance to walk over us.”
-
-“Oh, it’s too much trouble not to be honest,” Blanche retorted,
-lightly. “Let them try to wa-alk, for all I care.”
-
-“Have you ever written, or painted?” Oppendorf asked, liking the
-contradiction of her humble brassiness.
-
-“I _have_ fooled around with ideas of being a writer, but I’m afraid I
-don’t know English well enough for that,” said Blanche, uncertainly.
-
-“Don’t take up writing, Miss Palmer--it’s only an excuse for laziness,”
-Helgin said. “That’s probably why so many young people try to toss off
-stories and verses. They have just a bit of imagination and they don’t
-like the prospect of slaving in father’s shoe store or helping mother
-bake the evening pies.”
-
-“There must be a more important reason than that,” Blanche replied,
-soberly.
-
-“Yes, it’s barely possible,” Oppendorf interjected. “It’s a habit with
-us to take our profession somewhat flippantly. That’s to avoid giving
-the impression that we’re too much in love with ourselves.”
-
-“Funny, you do manage to give the impression, anyway,” Blanche
-answered, as she made a grimace.
-
-Oppendorf and the others laughed, and Helgin said: “So, you’ve been
-carrying that little dagger all the time. Bright gal.”
-
-“Not at all--just trying to imitate your style,” Blanche retorted,
-merrily.
-
-The others had been regarding her as a meek and abashed apprentice
-in their realms, but now they began to pelt her with more respectful
-badinage, with the exception of Oppendorf, who watched her with a
-sleepy stare of approval and remained silent. This girl wasn’t half
-stupid at bottom, but just ignorant of many things.
-
-The group repaired to Margaret’s nearby studio and danced to a
-phonograph and slipped into varying stages of tipsiness. Helgin did not
-dance, but sat in a corner and talked to Blanche. He became mellowly
-garrulous and somewhat less malicious, and he regarded Blanche as a
-fumbling but slightly diverting barbarian--diverting for a night or two
-at least. They were mildly interesting as long as they clung to their
-ferocious sassiness, but they always wound up by becoming girlishly
-wistful, and pleading, and more disrobed. He began to tell her
-anecdotes of his past, in which he was always laughing, penetrating,
-and triumphant at somebody else’s expense, and she listened eagerly.
-My, but this man certainly knew how to talk! He was always getting the
-best of people--you had to take at least forty per cent off from any
-fellow’s claims in that direction--but he really was a great writer,
-and he knew so many words and handled them so gracefully.
-
-Urged by a perverse whim, he invited Blanche to come with him to a
-party which he had promised to attend on the following night. The
-affair was to be a gathering of literary and theatrical celebrities
-and near celebrities, together with their latest fads and fancies in
-human form, and it might be amusing to bring this blunt, would-be
-highbrowish, young hair-dresser and see whether the assembled pedestals
-would overwhelm her.
-
-While Blanche suspected that he was playing with her and had only the
-impulse to grasp a flitting distraction, she felt delighted at this
-second opportunity to meet “famous” writers, and artists, and actors,
-and as she accepted the invitation she said to herself: “He thinks I’m
-just a snippy nobody, and he wants to show me off and then see what
-happens--like letting the puppy run loose in the parlor. Oh, I know.
-But what do I care? I might make friends at this party with two or
-three people just as intelligent as he is, and maybe more honest.”
-
-While Helgin left her emotionally unaroused, she was nevertheless
-dazed by his vocabulary and his mental swiftness, which she frequently
-had to stumble after, and a little flattered by his talkative
-attention, in spite of herself. The genially wise-cracking, quizzically
-aloof, and patronizing air, which he never deserted, irritated her
-but did not drive away the spell of her attention. After all, he
-made Rosenberg, the most intelligent man in her past, sound like a
-stuttering, yearning baby. Funny, how you changed! She had once looked
-up to this same Rosenberg, as though he were a luring and puzzling god.
-Well, that was life--listening and clinging to people until you grew
-beyond them. The only man whom she could permanently love would be one
-always a little superior to her, and urging her to catch up with him,
-and kindly waiting a little now and then, so as not to get too far
-ahead of her.
-
-When she reached her home she felt tired but “up in the air.” A long,
-hopeless stroll and a chance acquaintanceship had really led her into
-a new world--it was like a fairy tale, wasn’t it? Helgin had remained
-in the taxicab, after arranging to meet her at Margaret’s studio on the
-following night, and hadn’t even attempted to hold her hand ... not
-that that mattered, though she was a little curious to know how men of
-this kind “went about it.”
-
-He had refrained from touching her because it would have disrupted his
-nonchalant posture--the meticulous avoidance of sexual defeat with
-which he kept his egotism intact. He was like a watchman, ever alert in
-front of a towering but shaky house of cards.
-
-It was 2 A.M. when she entered her bedroom, but her mind was still
-spinning and darting about, in spite of her physical weariness, and,
-moved by an irresistible desire, and a sudden confidence that had been
-born from her surprising evening, she took a pad of paper from one of
-her bureau drawers and sat up in bed until 4 A.M., writing a sketch
-of the tearoom she had visited, and the people within it. The sketch
-was crude and at times ungrammatical, but it had an awkward sense of
-irony and humor which clung to small, insufficient words or hugged
-inappropriately long ones, and it was filled with clumsily good phrases
-such as: “They made a lot of noise and then whispered like they were
-ashamed of it,” or “She had small eyes and they got smaller when she
-talked,” “She was wearing a daisy, georgette thing and she acted like
-it.” Sturdily, but with little equipment, her thought bent to the
-novel wrestle with words on paper, and she felt an odd, half-uncertain
-thrill when she had finished the sketch. Did it have anything to it,
-or was it entirely bad? Well, she’d show it to Helgin or Oppendorf on
-the next night and get ready for the old cleaver. Nothing like trying,
-anyway, and curiously, she felt a beautiful relief now, as though
-she had emptied herself for the first time in a way that approached
-satisfaction.
-
-On the next day she was drowsy but cheerful at the Beauty Parlor,
-managing somehow to stagger through the quick-fingered details of her
-work, but experiencing a rising strain. This would never do--she would
-have to be wakeful and at her best for the coming party. It wouldn’t
-be like going out with some silly man, feigning to listen to his “I
-am it” gab, and leaving him around midnight, with several yawns and
-the usual, semievaded kiss and hug. Through using the reliable excuse
-of serious illness in her family, she succeeded in leaving the shop at
-three in the afternoon, hastening home and sleeping there until nearly
-seven. When she sat at the supper-table with the rest of the family,
-Harry said: “Say, I’ve got some news for yuh. Ran across Joe Campbell
-on Broadway an’ had a long chin-fest with him. He says he begged yuh to
-marry him the other night and yuh turned him down flat, but he’s still
-leavin’ the prop’sition open. Believe me, I wouldn’t, if I was him. He
-asked me to tell yuh, anyway.”
-
-“How interesting,” Blanche replied. “Suppose you tell your friend,
-Mister Campbell, to go to the devil.”
-
-“Now, Bla-anie, that’s a nice way to talk,” her mother cried. “I’m
-ashamed of you, I am. He’s never done you no harm, far’s I know, an’
-he’s been acourtin’ you for over two years now, an’ besides, he’s
-gone an’ made you ’n hon-rable pruposul. You could do lots worse than
-marryin’ him, you could.”
-
-“Listen, have I got to go through this whole thing over again?”
-Blanche asked, exasperated. “I wouldn’t marry Campbell ’f he had ten
-million and owned the subway system, and there’s no sense to this
-endless jawing match we put on. You can’t understand me and you never
-will--it’s not your fault, you just can’t, and what’s more, you ought
-to realize it by this time. I’m going my own way and you might as well
-leave me alone.”
-
-“Is that so,” her father replied, with a dull, puzzled anger shining in
-his little eyes. “I-is that so. You’re jest a stranger here, I s’pose,
-an’ you’ve dropped in tuh have supper with us. Sure, that’s it. I’m not
-your father an’ I’ve got nothin’ tuh say about you, huh? You’ve got a
-lot of nerve f’r a person your age, you have.”
-
-“Yeh, she’s gettin’ a swelled head, all right,” Harry said. “Guess I’ll
-have to beat up ’nother one uh her phony guys, an’ tone her down a bit.”
-
-“Oh, you’re just full of wind,” Blanche answered, indifferently.
-
-Mabel had been listening to Blanche with a mixture of reluctant loyalty
-and annoyance--this “nut” sister of hers was certainly impossible
-to understand, but Campbell had “done her dirty” just the same, and
-Blanche had a perfect right to detest him, and it was about time that
-the family stopped nagging her on that subject. Mabel’s antagonism
-against men and her regarding them as a would-be preying sex made it
-imperative that she should be on her sister’s side in this question,
-almost against her will.
-
-“I know Blan’s a nut, but stop razzing her about this Campbell stuff,”
-she said, glancing disapprovingly around the table. “The way you all
-rave about him a person’d think he was a king ’r something. He’s just
-like other fellows--waving his dough around an’ trying to put it over
-on ev’ry girl he meets. What do you want to do anyway--tie Blan up
-an’ carry her down to the license-bureau? She oughta have some rights
-around here.”
-
-Taken aback by this unexpected defense from Mabel, and not being able
-to think of any immediate and adequate retort, in spite of their
-emotional opposition, the parents and Harry lapsed into a short
-silence, after which they returned to minor complaints and jovialities.
-It was easy to battle with Blanche, who outraged all of their petted
-hopes and ideas, but when Mabel contradicted them, their feeling of
-innate kinship with her placed them in a temporarily bewildered state
-in which they wondered whether they might not be slightly wrong.
-Philip, who had squirmed distressedly in his chair and tried to look
-unconcerned, according to his custom, secretly prayed for Blanche to
-revolt and leave home. It would be better for her--she’d be happier
-then, in her crazy but rather likably independent way--and if she did
-there’d be some peace around the flat, for the first time.
-
-Blanche, who had felt relieved and a little unwillingly affectionate as
-she heard her sister’s support, drew back her chair to leave the table.
-
-“Going out to-night?” Philip asked casually, as he rose.
-
-“Yes, I’m invited to ’n exclusive party ... artists and actors--real,
-famous ones that people talk about,” Blanche replied, not being able to
-resist the desire to voice her proudly anticipating mood.
-
-“Fa-amous, huh,” Harry said, with a sneer. “Well, you’ll sure be outa
-place there, ’f they are.”
-
-“Peddle your wise-cracks somewhere else,” Blanche responded, unruffled.
-
-“We-ell, I don’t care what they are ’cept that you’d better not come
-skiddin’ in after breakfast,” her father broke in, gruffly.
-
-What his girls did was their business as long as no one “had the
-goods on them” and they kept out of trouble, but at the same time
-he didn’t intend to stand for any open flaunting of their possible
-transgressions. If a girl came home just before dawn, at the latest,
-she might only have been “cutting up” at some wild party or night club,
-but if she returned later than that, then it was evident that she had
-stayed overnight with some man.
-
-As Blanche stood before her mirror, engrossed in the half-piteous and
-half-brazenly hopeful ritual observed by most women--that of applying
-cosmetics to her face--a lyric rose and fell in her heart, separated
-by skeptical pauses. At last she had a chance to leap from the greasy,
-colorless weights of Ninth Avenue, and the cheaply frothy interludes
-of Broadway ... but was it only a fair-faced dream? Would the people
-in the other impending world laugh at her, or turn their backs? Again,
-all of them might turn out to be qualified versions of the group she
-had met at Clara’s--mischievous, sneering Helgins, weak and pouting
-Trussels, unwomanly Doras, Margarets indifferent to every one save the
-men at their sides, and perhaps another approach to Oppendorf--another
-intriguing but palely distant figure.
-
-The lyric rose once more and slew the specters. What an expert she was
-at borrowing trouble! It was quite possible that at least two or three
-of the people whom she was to meet would act friendly toward her and
-invite her to other gatherings, or perhaps a really fetching man, more
-naked and decent than Helgin, would fall for her.
-
-As she walked down Ninth Avenue to the Elevated station, the scene
-incited tinglings of disgust in her whereas, usually, she regarded
-it with a passively acceptant dislike, as the great, solid ugliness
-from which she could not escape. Now, different objects in the scene
-affected her as though she had been pummeled in the face. The garbage
-cans at one side of the entrances, frequently overbrimming with decayed
-fruit, soiled papers, and old shoes and hats; the pillars and tracks
-of the “L” road, stretching out like a still millipede, with smaller
-insects shooting over its back; frowsy women, with sallow, vacant
-faces, shouting down from upper windows; dirt-streaked boys, wrangling
-and cursing in hallways; drab blocks of buildings cramped together,
-like huge, seething, shoddy boxes; and clusters of youths on each
-corner, leering as though they could scarcely control the desire to
-leap upon her.
-
-All of it scraped against her nerves. Why had she remained so long
-within it?--it should have become unendurable years ago. Well,
-what choice had she ever had?--an unpleasant hall room in some
-rooming-shack. She could not afford more than that. But why, oh, why,
-was she so depressed on this evening of all others--this evening when
-for the first time she had something novel and promising to look
-forward to? The lyric started again and the black pause terminated. She
-became more in tune with an insidious, dodging gayety that somehow
-survived the grossness of Ninth Avenue and sounded in the mildly warm
-air of the late spring evening. In the dark-brown duvetyn dress that
-stopped at her knees, black chiffon turban, flesh-colored stockings and
-brown pumps, she could almost have been mistaken for some society girl
-on a slumming tour.
-
-When she reached Margaret’s studio, Helgin and Oppendorf had already
-arrived and were immersed in a game of dice for dimes, while Margaret
-finished her toilette. The studio had a low, broad couch covered
-with dark green taffeta and batik cushions, and gaudily painted
-furniture, and a little kitchenette and bathroom adjoined it. Helgin
-greeted Blanche in the affable boyish way which he could affect for
-moments--the miraculous atom of humility sometimes flitting to the
-surface of his poised urbanities.
-
-“Are you prepared to be thrilled?” he asked her, as she seated herself.
-
-“Listen, I’m a hard-boiled egg from Hell’s Kitchen, and I don’t thrill
-so easy,” she answered, with the impudent desire to shatter his smiling
-condescension.
-
-“Well, well, little tough Annie from behind the gas works,” he said.
-“How did you manage to stuff your boxing gloves into that vanity case?”
-
-“Don’t need them--bare knuckles where I come from,” she retorted,
-smiling back at him.
-
-“Stop it, Ben, you’ve met your match this time,” Oppendorf called out
-from the armchair where he was pensively eying a tiny glass of gin held
-in his right hand. “The awkward fighter can always beat the clever one
-if he stands and waits for Sir Cleverness to rush him.”
-
-“Oppie always instructs me--he can’t bear the thought of my being
-vanquished,” Helgin replied, lightly.
-
-“Well, I don’t know, I _have_ managed to bear it now and then,”
-Oppendorf said, before swallowing the gin.
-
-“Didn’t both of you promise me not to be sarcastic for one night?”
-Margaret asked, as she entered the studio. “If I had the muscle, why,
-I’d spank the two of you!”
-
-“Start with Ben--it might change his entire life,” Oppendorf said,
-grinning.
-
-“Oh, you’re not so sweet-tempered yourself,” she replied, as she
-pinched his cheek.
-
-“You’re quite right, I’m a snarling, vituperative, vindictive man until
-your smile creates a miracle within me,” he said, as he bowed low to
-her.
-
-Whenever Oppendorf liked a woman he treated her at times with a
-whimsical pretense of courtliness and deference, merrily overdone
-enough to make the whimsicality apparent.
-
-“How easy it would be to believe you,” she responded, with a sigh that
-carried off the vestige of a smile.
-
-“Emotions are never false--even the masquerade must become real before
-it can be persuasive,” Oppendorf answered, quickly changing to a mien
-of abstracted, impersonal challenge. “When the reality survives for a
-long time it is called sincere and true, and people have faith in it.
-It may be just as real for a moment, an hour, six days.”
-
-“You’re a sophist and a promiscuous wretch, and I’ll probably wind up
-by hating you,” Margaret said, as she slid into his arms. “Just as a
-person begins to depend on you ... you flit away ... I know.”
-
-“Why does a woman hate a man when he departs with an honest
-abruptness?”--Oppendorf shifted to the inquiry of a distressed child.
-“Or, why do men hate women for the same reason? I am immersed in you
-at present because you contain qualities which I cannot find in the
-other women around me. To-night, perhaps, or in a month from now, I may
-meet another woman who does possess them, together with other qualities
-which you lack. In such a case, my immersion would naturally transfer
-itself. God, how human beings detest everything except the snug, warm
-permanence which is either a lie or an unsearching sleep!”
-
-“There’s nothing logical about pain, Max,” Margaret said. “It _must_ be
-deaf, and angry, and blind, and pleading, until it dies down. When a
-girl’s lover goes off, her mind can say: ‘He revived and stimulated me,
-and I’m glad I did have him for a while,’ but just the same her heart
-still cries out: ‘Oh, he’s mean, and selfish, and treacherous, and I
-hate him!’”
-
-Although she was conversing with Helgin, on the couch, Blanche had
-caught bits of the other couple’s talk, and they brought a worried
-tinge to her heart. Oppendorf was wrong--in very rare cases a man and
-a woman _could_ love each other forever. Of course, the cases were
-rare simply because people deeply harmonious in every way, from their
-dancing-steps and tastes in clothes down to the very last opinion in
-their minds, hardly ever met each other. That was it. It was simply a
-question of luck as to whether you’d find this one person in a million
-or not.
-
-Helgin called out: “Well, Don Juan’s defending himself again. He’s more
-convincing when he doesn’t talk. Come on, Oppie, stop the necking for a
-while and join us. You’re falling into the boresome habit of dropping
-into a lady’s arms for hours and spoiling the party.”
-
-“I never object to other people taking the same privilege,” Oppendorf
-replied, placidly, as Margaret slipped from his lap.
-
-“Perhaps we’re not as impatient as you,” Helgin said, grinning.
-
-“Or perhaps you hide your impatience more patiently--there are so many
-possibilities,” Oppendorf retorted.
-
-“Say, Oscar Wilde once opened a small-talk shop--the store has been
-well patronized ever since,” Blanche said, flippantly.
-
-The line wasn’t her own--it had been in the last novel she had
-read--but she wanted to see what its effect would be on these men, and
-whether it would impress them.
-
-“The gal’s improving,” Helgin replied. “Come on, take off your little
-costume. You’re a college-student trying to write, and you thought
-you’d be more interesting if you posed as a slangy hair-dresser.”
-
-“The best way to fool you people is not to pose at all,” Margaret said,
-smiling.
-
-“It’s not a bad idea--I’ve tried it myself,” Oppendorf interjected.
-
-“Ti-ti-tum, come on, let’s go to the party,” Margaret interrupted. “You
-can all keep it up on the way over.”
-
-After they were all in a taxicab and speeding uptown, Helgin said to
-Blanche: “Didn’t you give Oppie a manuscript at the studio?”
-
-“Yes, it’s something I wrote about the tearoom where we sat last
-night,” Blanche answered. “He’s such a frank man, and I know he’ll tell
-me whether it’s just trash, or not.”
-
-“It’s becoming very amusing,” Helgin continued. “Nowadays, if you
-meet a manicurist you never know when she’s going to stop polishing
-your nails and draw the great, American lyric out of her sleeve, and
-the waiter at the café tries to induce you to read his startling,
-unpublished novel, and the bootblack shoves a short-story under your
-nose. None of these people would dare to attempt a painting or a
-sonata. The popular superstition is that literature consists of a deep
-longing plus thousands of words thrown helter-skelter together.”
-
-“Well, it doesn’t hurt them to try--they’ll never find out what their
-ability is, ’f they don’t,” Blanche replied, defiantly.
-
-“That’s right, don’t let him razz you,” Margaret broke in. “Masefield
-was once a bar-room porter, you know.”
-
-“Please pick out a better example,” Oppendorf said.
-
-Then he turned to Blanche.
-
-“Your grammar is atrocious at times, but you have originality, and
-there’s a razor in your humor,” he went on. “Keep on writing, and study
-syntax and the declensions of verbs--they’re still fairly well observed
-by every one except the Dadaists. I’ll have you in several magazines in
-another two months. And thank God you’re not a poet. If you were, you’d
-get fifty cents a line, mixed in with profound excuses!”
-
-“Do you really mean it?” Blanche asked, delightedly.
-
-“Of course.”
-
-“Why, I’ll work like a nigger ’f I can really make something of myself
-as a writer,” Blanche cried, enraptured.
-
-“I hope you’re not giving any pleasant mirages to Miss Palmer,” Helgin
-said, wondering whether Oppendorf was not merely seeking to flatter her
-into an eventual physical capitulation. “I know your weakness. When we
-were getting out The New Age you’d plague me every day with verses from
-girl-friends of yours, and they were always rank imitations of your own
-style.”
-
-“You seem to have the delusion that every beginner, with a sense of
-irony and a deliberate style, is an echo of mine,” Oppendorf replied,
-undisturbed. “You’d treat these people with a flippant impatience,
-but I’d rather err on the side of encouraging them, unless they’re
-saturated with platitudes and gush.”
-
-“Yes, you _are_ apt to make such mistakes, especially in the case of
-some pretty girl,” Helgin said, with a malicious grin.
-
-“Have it your way, Ben,” Oppendorf responded, indifferently.
-
-Blanche listened with a serene confidence in Oppendorf--he never lied
-about anything connected with writing: somehow she felt sure of that.
-Literature was too serious a matter to him.
-
-For a moment Margaret looked a little jealously at Blanche, pestered
-by the suspicion that Oppendorf might have praised Blanche’s work as a
-first move toward conquering her--a suspicion which Helgin had known
-would be caused by his words. Then Margaret remembered how he had
-viciously assailed her own short-stories just after her first meeting
-with him, when he had known that she would have prostrated herself
-before him for the least word of praise, and with the remembrance her
-doubts perished.
-
-“Be on your good behavior to-night,” Helgin said to Oppendorf.
-“Vanderin didn’t want to invite you, but I convinced him that you had
-become a chastened and amiable gentleman. I wouldn’t like to see you
-thrown down the stairway--it gives smaller people a chance to gloat
-over you.”
-
-“Are you really as wild as all that?” Blanche asked, looking
-incredulously at Oppendorf’s subdued pallidness.
-
-“The stairway myth is one in a celebrated list,” Oppendorf replied.
-“You’ll find many of the others in Mr. Helgin’s affectionate tribute
-to me--his last novel. The list is a superb one. I deceived some
-social-radical friends by pretending to defy the draft laws during the
-war. I faked a broken shoulder and sponged on some other friends. I
-was caught in the act of attempting to ravish a twelve-year-old girl.
-I leap upon women at parties and manhandle them while they shriek for
-mercy, in contrast to the other men present, who never do more than
-audaciously grasp the little fingers of the same ladies. The amusing
-part of it is that none of my actual crimes and offenses are on the
-list. I could give my admirers some real ammunition if they would only
-ask me for it.”
-
-“But why do they tell such hideous lies about you?” Blanche asked
-naively.
-
-“I’ll tell you why,” Margaret broke in, indignantly. “It’s because
-they hate him and fear him. He gets beneath their skins and mocks at
-all their little idols, and squirmings, and compromises. They want to
-pulverize him, but he hardly ever gives them any real opportunities,
-so they’re reduced to falling back on their imaginations and insisting
-that he’s a clownish monster. It’s a beautiful system of exaggerations,
-all right! If he happens to be drunk at a party, it’s immediately
-reported that he was pushed down the stairs, and if he’s seen stroking
-a woman’s arm it’s always said that he hu-urled himself upon her.”
-
-“It must be troublesome to hear your perfect lover so sadly maligned in
-spite of his eloquent assertions of innocence,” Helgin said, smiling.
-“Most of the stories are really told in admiration of his savage gifts.”
-
-“Yes, the admiration is both profound and imaginative,” Oppendorf
-retorted, with a weary return of the smile.
-
-Blanche listened to the others with feelings of uncertainty and dismay.
-How could refined, serious, artistic people act so rottenly toward
-each other? They weren’t so very much different from the toughs in
-her neighborhood, except that they used words while the gangsters
-and bullies employed their feet and fists, or fell back on guns and
-knives. The gangsters were far less dangerous, too. They could only
-hurt a person for a short time, or else kill him and send him beyond
-any further injury, but these artist-people with their mean tongues
-and their sneering stories could damage some one for the rest of his
-life, in different ways. Oh, well, maybe most people were always alike,
-except that some of them were clever and had minds, while others were
-more inept and stupid. What real difference was there between the
-endless digs which her new acquaintances traded and the catty remarks
-which she heard every day at the Beauty Parlor? Still, she made a
-mental reservation in the case of Oppendorf. He had to retaliate or
-keep quiet, and he never started any of the sarcasm, as far as she
-could hear, though he certainly could finish it! If he had only been
-physically stronger, and more blithely animated, she could have fallen
-in love with him. This ideal man of hers!--she’d probably never meet
-him. It only happened in story-books. But, at any rate, she intended
-to apply herself to writing and feel of some importance for a change.
-How relieved and happy she had been after putting down the last word
-of her tearoom sketch--it had been almost the first real thrill in her
-life.
-
-When she entered Paul Vanderin’s large, high-ceilinged studio and spied
-the Juliet balcony that ran around two sides of it, with rooms leading
-out on the balcony, and the profusion of statues and paintings--most
-of them weird or fiercely unorthodox--and the grand piano, and the
-abundance of luxurious furniture in neutral shades, she sighed and
-slipped a hand over her eyes. How delirious it must be to live in a
-place of this kind--big, and high, and filled with conveniences and
-intensely interesting objects--and how different it was from her own
-small, ugly room, with the ceiling hemming you in as though you were in
-a cage. Life was so darned unfair--lavishing favors, and stimulations,
-and beauties on some people and treating others in the most grudging
-and miserly fashion. Well, that was an old story--no good to rave over
-it. You had to beat life to its knees somehow, sharpening your mind and
-trying to express yourself, and praying for luck.
-
-Several people had already gathered in the studio, and as she walked
-beside Helgin in the round of introductions, she opened her mouth and
-felt stunned at the discovery that some of them ... were negroes! This
-was really astonishing--she had never dreamt that cultured, artistic
-white people mingled with black and brown men and women on terms of
-familiar friendship! Her head felt in a turmoil and she couldn’t decide
-whether these contacts were right or wrong, whether she herself could
-join them without shrinking. Of course, human beings were all equal
-and shouldn’t look down upon each other because the color of their
-skins varied, but ... didn’t it go much deeper than that? Wasn’t there
-a physical repugnance between the different races--a strong feeling
-that simply couldn’t be overcome? Certainly, she had always thought so.
-
-She had spoken to negroes, and Japanese, and Chinamen before, and had
-even joked with them--elevator boys, and porters, and waiters, and
-laundry-men--but she had never cared for their physical proximity and
-had always felt repulsed if they happened to brush against her. But
-still, they had been unrefined and ordinary, while these negroes were
-intelligent and cultured, and spoke about art and psychology. This
-was a revelation, as she had never imagined that negroes of this kind
-existed, except in the ratio of one to tens of thousands. She had heard
-vaguely of Booker T. Washington, and famous negro lawyers, and, oh
-yes, a negro writer named Du Bois, whom Rosenberg had always talked
-about, but she had thought that they were rarities and had even felt a
-flitting pity for their isolation among their own race.
-
-Of course, she had been foolish and thoughtless--there was no valid
-reason why negroes should not voice their feelings and search for
-beauty and uniqueness, instead of always clinging to some business or
-manual labor. They were human beings, too, and their hearts and minds
-were probably often much more restless than those of most white people.
-Besides, since these white writers and artists mixed with negroes, it
-must be that society was gradually beginning to approve of this union
-and was losing its prejudice in the matter. Sti-ill, perhaps these
-negroes and whites simply talked to each other, or danced together,
-without any sexual intimacies. Surely, there was no harm in that.
-
-As she sat beside Helgin she voiced her perplexity.
-
-“Say, I never knew that black and white people went to the same
-parties,” she said. “I don’t quite know what to think of it.”
-
-“Oh, yes, it’s the latest fad among white dilettantes,” Helgin replied.
-“They became weary of their other enthusiasms--finding a tragic,
-esthetic beauty in Charlie Chaplin and other slapstick comedians, and
-raving over East Side Burlesque Shows, and making Greek gladiators
-out of flat-nosed prize-fighters, and hunting for love in Greenwich
-Village. They are now busily engaged in patronizing and eulogizing
-the negro race. Vanderin is one of the ring-leaders in the matter.
-It tickles his jaded senses and reassures him of his decadence, and
-provides him with material for novels.”
-
-“But isn’t any of it sincere and honest?” Blanche inquired.
-
-“Certainly--negro and white writers and artists are actually starting
-to tear down the age-old barriers,” Helgin responded. “What begins as a
-fad can end as an avalanche. I really hope it happens.”
-
-“But ... but tell me, do negro and white men and women have anything to
-do with each other?” Blanche asked, falteringly.
-
-Helgin laughed.
-
-“Do you see that couple over there?” he asked. “The tall, Nordic kid
-and the mulatto girl in red. They’re always together at every party.
-Of course, white men have had negro mistresses in the past, with
-everything veiled and a little shamefaced, but this is different. It’s
-out in the open now, and it’s on the basis of deep mental and spiritual
-understanding.”
-
-“I don’t want to be narrow-minded,” Blanche answered, “but I don’t see
-how they can love each other--they must be lying to themselves. The
-races just weren’t meant to have physical relations with each other.
-There’s something, something in their flesh and blood that stands
-between, like ... like a warning signal. That’s it.”
-
-As she spoke, though, she had the sensation of uttering sentences
-which she had borrowed from books and other people, and which did not
-decisively express her opinions.
-
-“Oh, it doesn’t last long, usually,” Helgin said. “It’s not often that
-they live permanently together and raise families, but the infatuations
-are fierce enough while they last. And even intermarriage is becoming
-more common.”
-
-“We-ell, I’d like to talk to a negro boy, ’f he were intelligent and
-brilliant-like, you know, but I don’t think I could fall in love with
-him, even then,” Blanche replied. “You can’t reason about it ... it’s
-there, that’s all.”
-
-Vanderin walked up and spoke to Blanche. He was a tall, robust man with
-gray hair and a half-bald head and a ruddy, mildly sensual face. His
-speech and manners were genially suave and yet reserved, and there
-was something about his large eyes that resembled the look of a child
-playing with toys to hide its weariness.
-
-“You don’t mind our mixed gathering, I hope,” he said to Blanche. “I
-find the negro race to be very congenial, and just beginning to wake
-up. There are negro painters and poets here to-night who are quite able
-to stand shoulder to shoulder with white creators.”
-
-“Tell us all about their plaintive, erotic, defiant quality,” Helgin
-said. “You do it well, Paul--come on.”
-
-Vanderin laughed as he retorted: “You’ll have to read it in my next
-book, old skeptic. I’m not giving lectures to-night.”
-
-“But won’t you tell me something about them?” Blanche asked,
-pleadingly. “I’m a frightful simpleton in all these matters, but I do
-want to find out about them.”
-
-Helgin rose and joined a group, while Vanderin sat down and conversed
-with Blanche. He fascinated her as he told her grotesquely humorous,
-slightly bawdy anecdotes of Harlem’s night life and spoke of cabarets
-where negroes and whites danced and frolicked with a savagely paganish
-abandonment, and described the motives and longings behind negro music
-and writing. According to Vanderin, negroes were pouncing upon the
-restrained and timorous art of America and revitalizing it with an
-unashamed sensuality, and more simple and tortured longings, and a more
-grimly questioning attitude of mind.
-
-As Blanche listened to his silkenly baritone voice she reproached
-herself for her lack of a warm response toward this persuasive, exotic
-man. His mind intrigued her but her heart still beat evenly. She
-seemed to sense something of a huge, amiable, carelessly treacherous
-cat within him--one who lazily and perversely hunted for distractions
-and amusements, without allowing anything or any one to move him
-deeply, and who could become cruel or disdainful in the tremor of
-an eyelash. Why did all of the mentally luring men she had ever met
-fail to overpower her emotions? So far, her heart had been moderately
-stirred only by mental weaklings or frauds. Oh, dear, this business of
-searching for an ideal was certainly a shadowy mess!
-
-Vanderin excused himself to greet some new arrivals, and Margaret
-dropped into his chair.
-
-“How do you like the hectic fricassee?” she asked, half waving her hand
-toward a boisterous group of negroes and whites, who stood with arms
-interlocked.
-
-“I’m very confused about it,” Blanche said. “One part of me, now, it
-says, ‘Come on, Blanie, be a good sport and don’t be prejudiced,’
-but there’s another part, you see, and it sort of shrinks away, and
-wonders, well ... and wonders how they can kiss and hug each other.”
-
-“Listen, you ain’ seen nothin’ yet,” Margaret answered, jocosely. “I’ve
-been to parties where white and colored people were doing everything
-but, and they weren’t lowbrows, either. Real artists, and writers, and
-actors.”
-
-“Well, how do you feel about it?” Blanche asked.
-
-“I couldn’t do it myself, but I’m not intolerant,” Margaret said. “Some
-people have this instinctive, physical aversion to other races, you
-know, and some just haven’t. I’ve talked to colored men for hours and
-felt very immersed in what they said, but I could never have spooned
-with them.”
-
-“Well, I’m probably built the same way, but I’m not at all sure about
-it,” Blanche responded. “I’m not sure about anything, to-night. It’s
-all too new to me.”
-
-A tall, jaunty, colored youth whisked Margaret away, and a portly,
-courtly man wearing shell-rimmed spectacles sat down beside Blanche
-and began to tell her all about an immortal play which he had written,
-but which the managers were hesitating over because it hadn’t strolled
-into the box-office. The playwright was garrulous, using his arms as a
-sweeping emphasis for his remarks, and Blanche wondered whether she was
-listening to a genius or an untalented boaster. Some day she’d meet a
-man who didn’t claim to be superb in his particular line ... some day
-snow would fall in July.
-
-The gathering became slowly silent as Vanderin announced that a poet
-was about to recite. The poet, a young negro, Christopher Culbert, read
-some of his sonnets, in a liquid and at times almost shrill voice. He
-had a round, dark-brown face, and a body verging on chubbiness, and his
-verses were filled with adored colors and a sentimentality that flirted
-with morbidity for moments and then repented. He was effeminate and
-jovial in his manner, and after the reading he returned to his place
-on a couch beside another negro youth. Then another man, blackish
-brown and with the body of an athlete, sang spirituals, with a crazy,
-half-sobbing, swaying quaver in his voice. A curious blending and
-contrast of elation and austerity seemed to cling to him. As he intoned
-the words of one song: “Ho-ow d’yuh kno-ow, ho-ow d’yuh kno-o-ow, a-t
-the blo-od done si-ign mah na-a-me?”, Blanche felt shivers racing up
-and down her spine. These negroes certainly had something which white
-people couldn’t possibly imitate--something that made you feel wild,
-and sad, and swung you off your feet! It was hard to put your finger on
-it--perhaps it was a kind of insanity.
-
-When the singer had finished, Vanderin announced that Miss Bee Rollins,
-of the Down South night club would do the Charleston dance. She stepped
-forward--a palely creamish-brown skinned young negress with a lissom
-body incongruously plump about the waist, and an oval face, infinitely
-impertinent and infinitely sensual in a loosely heavy way. She twisted
-and bobbed and jerked through the maniacal obliquely see-sawing and
-shuffling steps of the Charleston, with a tense leer on her face, and
-inhumanly flexible legs. She was madly applauded and forced to several
-encores. Then the party broke up into dancing and more steady drinking,
-with different negroes playing at the piano, and the assistance of a
-phonograph in between.
-
-The dancers undulated and embraced in a way that surprised
-Blanche--even in the cheap dance halls which she had frequented, the
-floor-watchers always immediately ordered off all couples who tried
-to get away with such rough stuff. Well, anyway, it wasn’t the main
-part of these people’s lives--their only thrill and importance--as
-it was with the dance-hall men and women. The couples in this studio
-were only “cutting up” between their more serious, searching labors
-and expressions, and they were certainly more entitled to be frankly
-sexual, if they wanted to.
-
-Blanche stepped over the floor with several negro and white men, and
-enjoyed the novelty of dancing as extremely as the other couples did,
-though she felt the least bit guilty about it--it certainly was “going
-the limit.” As she danced with the negroes she felt surprised at her
-lack of aversion to the closeness of their bodies. Somehow, they danced
-with a rhythmical, subtle, audacious fervor which her white partners
-could never quite duplicate, and she was swung into a happy harmony
-with their movements in spite of herself.
-
-As she was catching her breath between dances, she watched some of the
-negroes around her. One of them, a short, slender girl in a dark red
-smock and a short black skirt, was conversing with a white youth in a
-dark suit, who looked like a solemnly tipsy mingling of clergyman and
-pagan. She had a pale brown skin, black curls of bobbed hair, thin
-lips, and a pug nose. She held his hand and gave him distrustfully
-tender looks.
-
-Blanche caught fragments of their conversation.
-
-“You don’t love me, hon.... You can get white girls prettier than I
-am--I know....”
-
-“I don’t want them ... you’ve put a song in my blood, right in it....
-I’m crazy about you.”
-
-“I don’t think you mean it.... Lord knows, I’d like so to believe
-you....”
-
-“You will, you will.... I’ll take care of that....”
-
-He kissed her and then she withdrew, saying: “You funny, funny, dear,
-impatient boy!”
-
-Another young negress with a dark-brown skin and a tall fullness to her
-body, was laughing violently beside a thin, white man with a little
-black mustache and a petulant face. She sang: “Mamma has her teeth all
-filled with goldun bridges ’n’ diamon’s small, but po-oor papa, po-o-or
-papa, got no teefies at a-all.”
-
-“Not this papa,” he replied. “I’ll prove it to you.”
-
-She drew back, laughing, while he sought to embrace her. They almost
-collided with a young negress who was dancing with a middle-aged white
-man. She was slim, with a straight-nosed, creamy face and straight
-brown hair, while her partner was floridly jowled and had the symptoms
-of a paunch, and sparse, black hair. They stopped their dance and
-stood, talking.
-
-“Have you seen the Russian Players?” she asked.
-
-“Yep, went down last night and took in that version of
-Carmen--‘Carmencita and the Soldier.’”
-
-“Aren’t they a curious mixture of restraint and hilarity? It’s a
-contradiction--a sort of disciplined madness, isn’t it?”
-
-“Oh, yes, they have dark, strange, patient souls, and yet ... they can
-be wildness itself. And they’re entirely obedient to the designs of the
-playwright. They never let their personalities swagger all over the
-stage at the expense of the author.”
-
-The two walked off, still talking, and Blanche eyed them regretfully as
-she wished that they had remained within hearing. Most of the men and
-women at the party seemed to be disinclined to talk about impersonal
-subjects. Their only aims were drinking, dancing, and making love to
-each other. Of course, they were tired of their more sober professions
-and the heavier problems in life, and wanted to forget them for one
-night at least--but this explanation scarcely lessened Blanche’s
-disappointment. She was longing to hear discussions on art and
-psychology--matters that were still semishrouded to her. She had been
-to tens of parties where people were “running wild” and foxtrotting and
-mauling each other--it was nothing new to her.
-
-She answered the teasing remarks of the man beside her with abstracted
-monosyllables, and watched another couple--a tall, dark, negro youth,
-with the face of a proud falcon, and an ample-bodied white woman in
-her early thirties, with a round face void of cosmetics but like an
-angelic mask that could not quite hide the jaded sensuality underneath
-it. She leaned closely against his side while he stroked one of her
-arms and looked at her with an almost scornful longing on his face.
-Blanche gazed intently at them--this was an exception. All of the other
-mixed couples that she had noticed had consisted of negro girls and
-white men, and she had been on the verge of believing that the women
-of her own race were only tolerantly “fooling around” and had no deep
-response to the colored men. But no, she was wrong. Another white woman
-and a negro youth were whispering together on the piano-bench, with
-their heads almost touching and their right hands clasping each other.
-
-How queer it was--even she had succumbed to the spell of the negroes,
-while dancing with them. They were like wise children--they could be
-abandoned and serious in such a quick succession, and there was an
-assured, romping, graceful something about them. Still, loving any
-one of them would probably be impossible--she still shrank a little
-from the nearness of their bodies, when the sorcery of the dances was
-removed.
-
-The teasing man departed, thinking her an odd iceberg, and another man
-sat beside her. She turned to look at him. He was of her own height
-and had a muscular body, a pale white skin with the least tinge of
-brown in it, and straight, light brown hair brushed back. His lips were
-thin below a narrow nose, and his large, gray eyes seemed to be full
-of silent laughter, as though the scene were an endurable but trivial
-comedy to him. In his tuxedo suit, well fitting and distinctive, and
-with his athletic, graceful body, that was neither too narrow nor too
-broad, and the high-chinned but not supercilious poise of his head, he
-could have been mistaken for some movie hero more natural and finely
-chiseled than most of the other stars in that profession.
-
-He looked at Blanche and smiled--a smile that was respectful but had
-the least touch of impudence.
-
-“I haven’t been introduced to you--I came in rather late,” he said,
-easily. “My name’s Eric Starling.”
-
-“Mine’s Blanche Palmer,” she replied.
-
-“Isn’t it rather silly--this trading of names right off the reel?” he
-asked. “They’re just empty sounds until people get to know each other,
-and then, of course, they do begin to suggest the qualities within each
-person.”
-
-“My name’s even more meaningless, if that’s possible,” she answered. “I
-haven’t done a thing to make it of any importance. Not a thing.”
-
-“Well, you’re not gray-haired, yet--unless you dye it,” he said, with a
-boyish geniality. “You have still time enough to conquer the world.”
-
-He had a soft and low, but unmistakably masculine voice, that pleased
-her.
-
-“Yes, a girl can keep on telling that to herself until there’s no time
-left,” she responded.
-
-“How doleful you sound,” he replied. “Have a heart--you’ll make me
-confess my own pessimism in a minute, if you keep it up.”
-
-She laughed softly.
-
-“No, you’re still young--you have plenty of time to conquer the
-wo-o-orld,” she said, mimickingly.
-
-“I was only trying to be pleasantly conventional,” he responded. “Lord
-knows, I’m a child of night myself--morbid moods, and hatreds, and
-despairs. I do try to tone it down, though. The world may be a muddled
-and treacherous place, on the whole, but if you never laugh about it,
-then you let it interfere too much with your work. I don’t know why
-I’m telling you all this--you’re probably not interested.”
-
-She liked his tone of quiet self-disparagement and understanding
-resignation--the absence of the usual masculine: “Look me over, kid,
-I’m there!”
-
-“Of course I’m interested,” she said. “It’s this way--’f you go around
-and laugh too much, why, then it’s just like taking dope, and then
-again, ’f you don’t laugh enough, you see, you get too wise to your own
-smallness. There’s never any cure for anything, I guess.”
-
-Up to this time he had regarded her only as a handsome girl, a bit
-more unaffected and humorous than the general run, but now he felt a
-much keener interest. She had something to say--an intriguing oddity
-among women. Who was this girl, with her dark red hair in bobbed curls,
-and her jaunty, Irish-looking face, and her words divided between
-whimsicality and hopelessness? Perhaps she was a talented person,
-well-known in her profession and amusing herself with this posture of
-half-smiling and half darkly wistful obscurity.
-
-“You’re probably quite famous and rebuking me for not having heard of
-you,” he said, after a pause.
-
-“I don’t think Madame Jaurette would agree with you,” she answered,
-smiling.
-
-“Mother or dancing partner?”
-
-“She owns the Beauty Parlor where I work--I’m just a common
-hair-dresser, that’s all.”
-
-He looked closely at her--was she persistently jesting?
-
-“No fooling--come clean,” he said. “You’re not really.”
-
-“Oh, I know, I’m not like my type,” she answered. “I think a little,
-and I don’t use slang very often, though I like it sometimes. Don’t be
-deceived so easy.”
-
-“Well, I’ll bet you’re trying to do something different, anyway,” he
-said, convinced now that she was telling the truth and engrossed in
-this phenomenon of a seemingly intelligent and searching Beauty Shop
-girl. “You could tell me you were a scrubwoman and I’d still know
-instinctively that your job had nothing to do with your ambitions. It’s
-in all your words and all the expressions on your face.”
-
-She felt glad that his response had not been one of veiled pity, or
-sexy flattery, or the polite ending of interest, and her heart began
-to quicken its strokes. Say, could he be the man that she had been
-looking for? Could he? Silly, oh, very silly dream, and one that
-could scarcely be changed to a proven reality by a few beginning and
-possibly misleading words, and yet ... she _was_ attracted by his
-appearance--stalwart and yet subdued, with no “fizz” about it--and she
-liked immensely everything he said.
-
-“My family’s poor and I’ve had to work to earn my own living,” she
-said, simply. “I live in the toughest part of Ninth Avenue--I was born
-and raised there. The people I come from think that art’s the second
-word in ‘Thou art bughouse.’ Now you’ve got the whole sad story.”
-
-“Well, seeing that confessions are in order, I’ll spill mine,”
-he answered. “I was brought up in a neighborhood where they throw
-paving-blocks at each other to prove the sincerity of their feelings.
-One of them hit me once, but it didn’t seem able to knock any obedience
-into me. Oh, ye-es, nice, little neighborhood.”
-
-“’F it’s any worse than Hell’s Kitchen it must be a peach,” she
-replied, thoroughly unreserved and immersed in him now.
-
-“It is--Peoria Street in Chicago,” he said, smiling. “If I could escape
-from Peoria Street, you’ll probably be able to get out of Ninth Avenue
-with one wing-flutter and a little audacity! I’m working for a Harlem
-cabaret now--Tony’s Club. Publicity man ... writing the blurbs, and
-arranging the banquets, and getting the celebs to come down.”
-
-“I’m quite sure you’re different from most publicity men, I can just
-feel it in your words and in the looks on your face,” she answered, in
-a mocking voice.
-
-“Lady, I’ll never feed you that medicine again--the taste is simply
-frightful,” he replied.
-
-They both laughed and felt relieved about it.
-
-“D’you know, I’ve got a writing bug buzzing in my head,” she said,
-after a short pause. “It really started only a night ago--I never
-dared to believe I could do it before. I was down to Greenwich Village
-for the first time, and when I came back I wrote a sketch of the
-tearoom I’d been in. I didn’t think it amounted to very much, but Max
-Oppendorf, the poet, you know, he tells me it’s really clever and
-original, in spite of the shaky grammar. I’m going to keep on writing,
-you see, and he’s promised to criticize my stuff and try to put it over
-for me.”
-
-“I think I met Oppendorf once,” he replied. “He’s tall and blond, isn’t
-he?”
-
-“Yes, that’s him--he’s here to-night.”
-
-“You didn’t come with him, did you?”
-
-“No-o, don’t be scared,” she said, in raillery. “He’s with a girl
-friend, Margaret Wheeler, and my, how they’re gone on each other. It
-always seems to annoy them when they’ve got to talk to somebody else.”
-
-“Who’d you come with?”
-
-“With Ben Helgin, the novelist. I only met him and Oppendorf last
-night, and I’m only a curiosity to him. He just wanted to see how
-the slum-girlie would get along in the mi-ighty studio. I hope he’s
-satisfied now.”
-
-“Do you know, people who patronize and bend down all the time, do it as
-a hop-fiend sniffs his cocaine,” he said. “They might have to take a
-close peek at themselves otherwise.”
-
-“Isn’t it the truth,” she answered. “When I think of all the dopes
-people use to kid themselves along, I get the Jailhouse Blues. I was
-just as bad myself, two or three years ago, before I commenced to get
-wise to myself.”
-
-A pause came, during which they looked at each other with a budding and
-almost incredulous desire.
-
-“By the way, I have another confession to make,” he said. “Close
-your eyes and take the blow. I’m one of those dreamy, high-handed,
-impossible poets you’ve heard about. Vanderin likes my stuff and he’s
-induced Koller, the publisher, to take a first book of mine. I grind
-it out between the times when I’m slaving down at Tony’s.”
-
-“Three cheers,” she answered, delightedly. “Perhaps we can put our
-heads together now, and maybe you’ll help me with my work. I know you
-must have much more education than I’ve got.”
-
-“Oh, I did work my way through two years of college, but I stopped
-after that,” he said. “It was too dry, and heavy, and, well,
-conservative, to satisfy me. A million don’ts and rules and rules and
-boundaries. They’re all right to know but they’re not so sacred to me.”
-
-“Well, I envy you, anyway,” she replied, sighing. “You’ve got to help
-me with my grammar--that’s the big, weak sister with me.”
-
-“You can bet I will,” he responded, eagerly.
-
-She was certainly an unusual girl--one who had somehow commenced
-to force her way out of a vicious, muddy environment. Since he had
-partially freed himself from the same thing, it was a sacred duty
-to help her. But he wouldn’t do it for that reason alone--he liked
-the jolly and yet pensive turn of her, and the undismayed and candid
-twist of her mind, and the soft irregularities of her face, which were
-charming in spite of their lack of a perfect prettiness, and the boldly
-curved but not indelicate proportions of her strong body. Of course,
-it was nonsense to believe that you could fall in love after several
-minutes of talking, and there was Lucia, the clever little hoyden whom
-he had gone with for two years now, and Clara, savage, beautiful, and
-dumb, and Georgie, keen-minded enough but a little hysterical at times,
-and promiscuous, and.... But after all, none of them except Lucia had
-ever aroused him to any depth of emotion, and even that had long since
-begun to wear off. She was mentally shallow--women usually turned out
-to be that, after you penetrated their little tricks and defenses.
-Would this girl prove to be of the same kind? Maybe, maybe, but there
-was one thing about her that he hadn’t found in any other women--the
-instant, frank, ingenuous way in which she had intimately revealed
-herself, without all of the wrigglings and parryings common to her sex.
-They sure did hate to get down to brass tacks.
-
-He was an odd confusion of sentimentalities and cynicisms, and the
-conflict between them was often an indecisive one. As he looked at
-Blanche, a fear suddenly shot through him.... Lord, he had forgotten.
-The old, dirty scarecrow that would probably turn her away from him.
-
-“D’you know, I was certainly surprised when I came here to-night,” she
-said. “I never imagined that negroes and white people--real, artistic
-ones, I mean--I never imagined that they went around with each other
-and made love together. I don’t know just how to take it. How would you
-feel if you met a good-looking, intelligent, negro girl and she became
-fond of you?”
-
-He winced and his face tightened up. It was just as he had feared--she
-had mistaken him for a white man. Of course, he _was_ white for the
-most part ... just a fraction of negro blood, but he was proud of
-it just the same, damn proud of it, and if people wanted to repulse
-him because of this fraction, they could go straight to the devil for
-all he cared.... Should he tell her now and have it over with? He
-hesitated. Despite his impatient pride he could not bring the words to
-his lips, as he had done many times before in such cases. White women
-often made this mistake, and he was inured to correcting it and bearing
-their constraint, or their shifting to a careful cordiality, but this
-time his self-possession had vanished. Sometimes he _had_ failed
-to tell women, when he had only wanted a night or two of physical
-enjoyment with them, for then it never mattered, but ... some miracle
-had happened. This girl really seemed to have cut beneath his skin, and
-... yes, he was afraid of losing the chance to see her again.
-
-He didn’t love her now--in the deep, seething way that was the real
-thing--but he felt that if he continued to meet her he probably would,
-and this was a rare sensation to him. She would have to be told some
-time, of course, but ... not to-night. He simply couldn’t run the risk
-of spoiling this growing harmony between them, of not seeing whether it
-might flower out into an actual ecstasy. He couldn’t.
-
-Blanche began to wonder at his lengthy silence, and she looked
-inquiringly at him.
-
-“Please excuse me,” he said at last. “I was sort of ... sort of
-waltzing in a dream with you for a while.... Negroes and whites are
-human beings after all, and the fact that a man’s colored shouldn’t
-make him an inferior animal. But that’s an old story to me. I’ve got
-it all memorized. Race-prejudice, and fun-da-men-tal repugnance, and
-all the disasters that spring from intermingling. Oh, yes, these things
-exist in most people, of course they do, but I refuse to believe that
-exceptional men and women can’t rise above them. If they can’t, then
-what _is_ exceptional about them?”
-
-Something in the weary contempt of his words should have suggested to
-her that he was pleading his own cause, but her delighted immersion in
-him made her oblivious, and she mistook his words for those of a rarely
-unprejudiced white man. How eloquently and clearly he talked! He had an
-unassuming but fervent way that was far more attractive than Helgin’s
-suave, superior jovialities, or Oppendorf’s tired belligerency, or
-any of the other postures which she had noticed in different men at
-the party. Was she really beginning to fall in love with this Eric
-Starling? Somehow, she felt that no matter what faults she might
-discover in him afterwards, they would not be huge enough to destroy
-this present sense of communion with him. You had to trust to your
-instinct in such matters, and this instinct certainly hadn’t failed her
-up to date. Hadn’t she always doubted and feared Campbell, and held him
-at arm’s length, in spite of his smooth protests and promises? But gee,
-what if she _were_ deceiving herself? This time it would be a real blow.
-
-“I think I agree with you.... I’m not sure,” she answered at last. “I
-guess no person can tell how he’s going to feel about, well, loving
-somebody who’s of another race, unless he actually runs up against it
-himself. I certainly believe negroes and whites ought to talk together,
-though, and try to understand each other more. There’s too much darn
-hate and meanness in this little world, as it is.”
-
-“Yes, entirely too much,” he said, in an abstractedly weary way.
-
-Helgin walked up and Blanche introduced him to Starling.
-
-“Found your ideal yet, little gal?” he asked, grinning. “A
-studio-party’s an excellent place for such delusions.”
-
-“’F I had, I wouldn’t tell you, old boy,” she answered impertinently.
-“You’d just answer ‘Nice li’l baby, all blind and deaf and everything.’”
-
-“Ideals are out of fashion, Mr. Helgin,” Starling said. “They don’t
-seem to blend so well with synthetic gin, and the Charleston, and
-divorces at six for a dollar.”
-
-Helgin countered with one of his bland ironies and then said: “The
-party’s beginning to break up, now. Are you ready to leave, Miss
-Palmer?”
-
-“Would you mind if I saw Miss Palmer home?” Starling asked, bluntly,
-but in a soft voice. “I hope you won’t be irritated at my nerve.”
-
-Helgin laughed.
-
-“Of course not, if it’s agreeable to her,” he replied. “I never have
-any desire to interfere with blossoming romances.”
-
-“You won’t think I’m being terribly rude, will you?” Blanche asked.
-
-“Go o-on, stop the nervous apologies, child,” he said. “I’m really glad
-that you’ve found a kindred soul.”
-
-He shook hands with the other two and walked away.
-
-As Blanche and Starling went for their wraps, they ran into Oppendorf
-and Margaret, and Blanche introduced the two men, who vaguely
-remembered that they had met somewhere before. Oppendorf looked even
-sleepier and more distant than usual, while Margaret was in a giggling
-daze of contentment.
-
-“He didn’t kiss more than two other girls to-night,” she said gayly. “I
-really think he must be beginning to care for me.”
-
-“I didn’t count more than two in your case, but then we had our backs
-turned once in a while,” Oppendorf replied.
-
-Blanche promised to visit Margaret’s studio at the end of the week,
-with another manuscript for Oppendorf’s appraisal, and the two couples
-separated.
-
-During the taxicab ride to her home, Starling held her hand, but
-made no effort to embrace her, and although she wanted him to, she
-felt rather glad at his reserve. How tired she had become of men who
-desperately tried to rush her at the end of the first night. It almost
-seemed as though rarely desirable men were never instantly frantic
-about it--as though their unabashed quietness alone proved their
-rarity. Naturally, only starved or oversexed men were so immediately
-anxious for physical intimacies, although ... Starling might have
-kissed her at least.
-
-As Blanche stood in the dirty, poorly lit hallway, she smiled for a
-moment as she remembered how often she had been in this same spot,
-permitting men to kiss and hug her, out of pity or as a small payment
-for the “good time” that they had shown her. And now she was parting
-with a man infinitely more cajoling than they had been, and merely
-clasping hands with him. Life was certainly “cuckoo” all right. She
-had arranged to see Starling at the end of the week and leave a night
-of rest in between. As she retired to her bed, the satiated remnants
-of the ecstasy-herald were shifting slowly, slowly in her breast. The
-dream had finally peered around the corner ... how nice, how sweet, how
-terrifying....
-
-On the following day, as she worked at the Beauty Parlor, she was
-in a sulkily grimacing mood. Oh, this endless ha-air-curling, and
-face-massaging ... beautifying women and girls so that some male fool
-would spend his money on them, or offer to marry them, or try to caress
-them. Gold-diggers, and loose women too passionate to be very efficient
-gold-diggers, and lazy, decent housewives, and sly-faced wives with a
-man or two on the side, and kiss-me-’n’-fade-away flappers--take away
-their bodies and what would be left of them? Less than a grease-spot.
-Drat this empty, tiresome work. She’d have to get out of it pretty soon
-or go loony. She wanted to write, and describe people, and live in a
-decent place, and ... see Eric Starling.
-
-He moved about in her mind; his fingers were still touching her hands.
-What a strong body and well-shaped face he had. Funny about men’s faces
-... they were usually either too weakly perfect--movie-hero-like--or
-too homely, but Starling’s was in between. And he had a curious
-quality--not humble but sort of sadly and smilingly erect. What was it,
-anyway?
-
-During the next two days she treated her family with a greater degree
-of merry friendliness, and they began faintly to hope that she was
-coming around to their ways of thinking. In reality, they had ceased to
-matter much to her, all except her mother, for whom she still felt a
-weak and troubled compassion. Poor, hard-working, patient, stupid ma.
-But what on earth could be done to help her?
-
-Propped up against the pillows on her bed, Blanche had written an
-account of the Vanderin party. With more confident emotions now,
-fortified by Oppendorf’s praise, and with a little, dizzy ache in her
-head, her fingers had passed less laboriously over the paper. Her
-sketch was pointedly humorous and disrespectful, and stuck its tongue
-out at the different men and women who had attended the party. They
-might be celebrities and all that, but most of them hadn’t acted and
-talked much different from the business men and chorines whom she had
-met at other affairs. She enjoyed the task of good-naturedly attacking
-them--it was like revenging her own undeserved obscurity.
-
-Her sketch was full of lines such as: “She was fat, and when she
-did the Charleston with a little skinny fellow, why he looked just
-like a frightened kid,” and “The negroes and whites, all except the
-loving couples, they acted like they were trying too hard to be happy
-together,” and “The party was a good excuse for necking, but they
-all could have done it much better alone,” and “They introduced him
-as a poet, but when he started to talk to you, why then you got more
-uncertain about it, and when he was through talking you were just sure
-that something must be wrong.”
-
-When she met Starling, on Saturday night, she was in a facetious and
-tiptoeing mood. Hot doggie, life was perking up again. As they rode in
-a taxicab down to Margaret’s studio, she showed him the sketch, and he
-laughed loudly over it.
-
-“You know, the trouble between colored and white people at parties
-is that they’re both acting up to each other,” he said. “The whites
-are doing their darnedest to be tolerant and, well, cordial, and
-the colored people are always a little uncomfortable. They act
-self-conscious, you know, or too wild, and why? They’re all trying to
-put their best foot forward, and show that they belong there.”
-
-“But how about all the loving pairs I saw at Vanderin’s?” she asked.
-“They sure didn’t seem to mind it much.”
-
-He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. Of course, she didn’t know
-that in eight cases out of ten--perhaps more--these pairs had nothing
-but a passing lust for each other. And what if they did?--that part
-of it was all right. There was no earthly reason why they shouldn’t
-want each other’s bodies, unless they were too cruel or sneering
-about it. God, sex could be a wild, clean, naked, beautiful thing, and
-people were always hurling mud and denunciations at it, or slinking
-with it behind closed doors, damn them. But he didn’t want just a
-flitting affair with Blanche ... he was sure of that now. He had been
-afraid that the encouragement of night, and the highballs, and the
-party, might have caused him to throw a false radiance around this
-girl--he had done the same thing before, though never so severely.
-But now he realized that his feelings for her were made of more solid
-stuff--realized it just after he had finished reading her sketch. He
-liked her upstanding, inquiring, impertinent spirit, and the unaffected
-smiles and _moués_ that appeared on her face, and the sturdy and yet
-soft freshness of her body.
-
-Hell was probably facing him. He was a negro, yes, and proud of it,
-but suppose it caused him to lose this woman? He would almost hate
-it, then--this streak of black blood which he had always flaunted so
-defiantly. He wasn’t like other men of his kind--cringing about it, and
-claiming to be entirely white, and fawning before every white woman
-they met. Stupid lily-snatchers! Not he! Yet he was sorely tempted
-to flee to this lie, in Blanche’s case. If he confessed, then all of
-his hopes and longings might be shot to pieces. He could picture her
-in his mind, recoiling from him against her will, summoning pleasant
-and compassionate smiles, trying to soothe the wound caused by her
-sorrowful determination never to see him again.
-
-Puzzled by his frowning silence, she said: “What’s the matter, Eric?”
-
-“Oh, I was just brooding over some of the injustice in this world,” he
-replied. “It’s absurd, of course--never does any good. What were we
-talking about?”
-
-“You said something about negroes and whites always acting up to each
-other,” Blanche answered, “and then I said that some of the couples I
-saw at Vanderin’s seemed to be really gone on each other.”
-
-“Of course they are--for a night, or a month. A year’s the world’s
-record as far’s I know. It’s nothing but surface sex-appeal, you know,
-and it’s not much different from the old plantation-owners down South,
-who used to pick out colored mistresses. The only difference nowadays
-is that white women are starting to respond to colored men.”
-
-“Gee, I wonder ’f I could care for you, ’f you were colored ... I
-wonder now,” Blanche said, reflectively. “Of course, I’ll never have
-to bother about it, but it’s interesting just the same. I guess a
-woman never knows how she’ll feel about anything until she’s got to
-make a choice. It’s all right to think it over and say ‘I could’ ’r
-‘I couldn’t,’ but that’s just because you’ve got to pretend to know
-yourself anyway. It kind of keeps up your backbone.”
-
-She did not notice the pain that twisted his face. He tried his best to
-be humorous ... this dark bugaboo was getting on his nerves.
-
-“Mix black and white together and they make gray,” he said. “I never
-did like that color. Let’s be more gaudy to-night.”
-
-“You’re a terrible liar--you’re wearing a gray suit,” she replied.
-
-He laughed.
-
-“Well, what’s a man to do?” he asked. “You women can put on lavender,
-and orange, and cerise clothes, but if a man tried it he’d be howled
-out of town.”
-
-“It’s all your own fault,” she said. “Men just hate to look different
-from each other, and besides, they’re always afraid that somebody’s
-going to think that they’re showing some weakness or other. I know
-them.”
-
-As they continued the conversation, in a vein of mock-chiding and
-sprightly rebuke, she knew that she was rapidly descending into the
-depths of a love for him. She had also been afraid that the giddiness
-of night and a party, plus her own thwarted longings, might have
-induced her to throw a glamor over him, and that her next meeting with
-him might turn out to be somewhat disillusioning. But no, his mixture
-of frowns and deft gayeties, and his clear, incisive way of talking,
-were causing her emotions to increase in leaps and bounds. Whenever his
-shoulder grazed hers, a shamefaced tremor was born within her.
-
-After they had reached Margaret’s studio they became more spontaneously
-mirthful. Margaret was in a frothy mood and Oppendorf seemed to be more
-affable and relaxed than usual. He read Blanche’s sketch with a broad
-grin on his face.
-
-“That’s the stuff, rip it into them, old girl,” he said. “When they’re
-not strapping their pedestals to their backs and setting them up
-in this place and that, they’re wildly reaching for each other’s
-flesh. The very thought of an unassuming naturalness, or a frank and
-good-natured exchange of challenges, would give them heart failure!”
-
-“Don’t worry--they’ll live,” Starling replied.
-
-Oppendorf was aware of the fact that Starling was a negro, and
-Starling liked the blunt and impersonal way in which the other man
-treated him. Congenial, and tossing epigrammatic jests about, the
-party wended its way to Tony’s Club and danced there until 3 A.M. The
-cabaret was a wild, gargoylish, shamelessly tawdry place, trimmed
-with colored strings of confetti, and orange and black boxes over the
-electric lights hanging from its low, basement-ceiling, and atrocious
-wall-panels of half nude women in Grecian draperies, and booths
-against the walls, each booth bearing the name of a different state.
-A brightly painted railing hemmed in the rectangular dance floor, and
-the jazz-orchestra--one of the best in town--moaned and screeched and
-thudded, in the manner of some super-roué, chortling as he rolled his
-huge dice to see who his next mistress would be.
-
-Margaret, who also knew that Starling was a negro, glanced curiously
-at Blanche now and then, and wondered whether Blanche also knew and
-whether she had found that it raised no barrier. The subject, however,
-was too delicate to be broached to Blanche on this night.... It would
-have to wait.
-
-Since she was with a man whom she practically loved, Blanche’s usual
-wariness toward alcohol--a caution produced by her desire not to become
-an unconscious prey--left her entirely, and in spite of Starling’s
-remonstrances, she drank with a reckless glee. When 3 A.M., the closing
-time, arrived, she was giggling fondly at him, and trying to balance
-glasses on her nose, and snuggling her head against his shoulder.
-
-When the party reached the street she was barely able to walk, and had
-to lean against Starling for support.
-
-“Why don’t you two come down to our place?” Margaret asked. “The poor
-kid’s going to pass out soon, and then you’ll be in a devil of a fix
-unless she’s safely inside somewhere.”
-
-“No, I’ll call a cab and take her home,” he said. “Thank you just the
-same. She comes from a stupid family, you know, and they’d probably
-raise a vicious row if she came back to-morrow afternoon.”
-
-After bidding the other two farewell, Starling hailed a cab and gave
-Blanche’s address to the driver. She passed out completely in the cab,
-with her arm around his shoulder and her head on his breast, and as he
-thought it over he began to regret his decision. He would be forced
-to carry her to the door of her apartment and wake up her family, and
-since they were obtuse proletarians, they might imagine that he had
-plied her with liquor to achieve her seduction. In that case there
-would be a sweet rumpus, all right! He was not afraid of a possible
-fight--swinging fists was nothing new to him--but if one did occur, her
-folks would probably order her never to see him again, or would look
-him up and discover his negro blood. Again, the ever-blundering “cops”
-might also interfere in the matter.... In this world it was often
-imperative to avoid the sordid misinterpretations of other people, for
-otherwise you would simply be expending your energy to no purpose. No,
-the best thing would be to take Blanche to his apartment and let her
-sleep it off, for then she could return home with the usual story of
-having “stayed over” at some girl-friend’s home. Fearful lies, lies,
-lies--sometimes he thought that the entire world was just a swamp of
-them. Well, hell, you’d get very far, wouldn’t you, trying to hold out
-against it!
-
-He tapped on the pane and told the driver to switch to a Harlem
-address. After he had paid the driver and was half carrying Blanche
-over the sidewalk, the man called after him: “That’s the way to
-get ’em, Bo!” Starling turned and was about to leap at the leering
-chauffeur, but burdened with Blanche, whom he could scarcely deposit
-on the walk, and fearing to arouse the neighbors in his building, he
-ignored the remark.
-
-His apartment consisted of two rooms and a kitchenette, and after
-he had placed Blanche on a couch in one of the rooms, he closed the
-door and changed to his slippers and a dressing-gown. Then he sat
-down in an armchair and grinned, in a sneer at himself, as he lit a
-cigarette. This was exactly like one of the impossible climaxes in a
-cheap movie-reel. The handsome hero had the proudly beautiful girl at
-his mercy, but nobly and honorably refused to compromise her. Oh, rats,
-why not walk in and take the only crude, gone-to-morrow happiness that
-life seemed to offer. Otherwise, she would find out about his negro
-blood, before their achievement of finality, and depart from him or
-tell him to be “just a dear friend,” and what would he have then?--not
-even the remembrance of a compensating night. Hell, he ought to regard
-her as just another blood-stirring girl, and ravish her, and forget her
-afterwards. If you failed to trick and abuse women, they usually sought
-to turn the cards on you--he’d found that out often enough.
-
-He arose and paced up and down the room. No, he was a mawkish fool, a
-sentimental jackass--he couldn’t do it. The dirty nigger couldn’t leap
-on the superior white girl, damn it. He loved this girl--no doubt about
-that. She had a clear, honest, stumbling-on mind, and her heart was
-free from pretenses and hidden schemes, and a unique essence, tenderly
-simple and defiant by turns, seemed to saturate her. It wasn’t just
-her body and face--he had known prettier girls by far--but it was
-something that clung to this body and face and transformed them to an
-inexplicable but indubitable preciousness. She was unconscious now, and
-her inert surrender would mean nothing to him except a cheap and empty
-triumph. He wanted her to come to him joyously, spontaneously, madly,
-and with quiverings and shinings on her face!
-
-He sat down again in the armchair. Damn his luck, why couldn’t he have
-fallen in love with another negro girl? He wasn’t like some of the men
-of his race--always chasing after white girls because it gave these men
-a thrill to boast of having captured them, and soothed their miserable
-inferiority complex. He had nearly always stuck to the girls of his
-own race, and yes, he had loved two of them ... in a way ... but it
-hadn’t been the surging, frightened, and at times abashed thing that
-he was feeling now. He was in for it now, oh, how he was in for it! He
-would undoubtedly be rejected, and pitied, and reduced to every kind of
-helpless writhing. It was in him to curse the very day on which he had
-entered the earth.... Good God, why couldn’t he shake off this morbid
-hopelessness? How did he know what would happen, after all? Perhaps her
-love for him was as overwhelming as his. Perhaps she would be forced to
-cling to him, in spite of every enormous warning and obstacle.
-
-He passed into a fitful and often dream-groaning sleep. When he awoke
-it was noon. His room seemed uglier than usual--the straight, oak
-furniture, and the worn, brown carpet, and the rose-stamped wallpaper
-were like slaps against his spirit. Money, money--the devil sure had
-been in an ingenious mood when he invented it.... And Blanche Palmer
-was in the next room--all of him tingled incredibly at the thought
-of her proximity, and his heavy head grew a bit lighter. Then the
-door opened and she walked out, slowly, with a sulky, half sleepy,
-questioning look on her face, and rumpled hair, and a wrinkled gown.
-
-“Eric, what’m I doing here--what happened last night?” she asked.
-
-“Sit down, dear, and let your head clear a bit--I’ll tell you,” he
-answered.
-
-She dropped into the armchair and he drew another chair beside her.
-
-“You passed out in the cab after we left Tony’s, and I decided to
-bring you here,” he said. “It would have been rather ticklish, carrying
-you in my arms and waking up your, u-um, intellectual family. Their
-response might have been just a trifle excited, you know. You’re not
-angry with me, are you, Blanche?”
-
-She looked steadily at him, with her head too confused and aching for
-any definite emotion--for the moment--and then, very slowly, she gave
-him a tenderly rebuking smile. Somehow, she knew that he had left her
-in peace while she had slept at his place, and funny, this time she
-would not have minded an opposite gesture. Things never seemed to
-intrude upon you unless you were seeking to avoid them! Yet, she was
-touched by this proof that he had not been hiding a mere, ordinary lust
-for her. Sweet, sweet boy ... how her head swayed and throbbed, and
-yet, despite the pain, a happiness tried to lessen it.
-
-“You really shouldn’t have brought me here,” she said at last. “My
-folks’ll raise the dickens with me now. Their system is wink your eye
-at daughter ’f she gets back any time before 6 A. M., and call her a
-bad woman ’f she doesn’t. Still, you’d have been in for it ’f you _had_
-brought me back, I guess. There wasn’t much choice in the matter.”
-
-“Why don’t you leave that dirty den of yours?” he asked. “You can’t go
-on sacrificing yourself forever.”
-
-“Oh, I’m going to leave pretty soon,” she answered. “I’d have done it
-long ago, only I didn’t see much difference between living home and
-staying in some spotty hall-bedroom, and I’ve never had money enough
-for more than that. Maybe I can get a fairly decent place in the
-Village, though. Margaret tells me that rents are much cheaper down
-there.”
-
-“Yes, you’d better look around,” he said, dully.
-
-He couldn’t ask her to live with him, or to marry him--especially the
-latter--without telling the secret to her, and once more his courage
-failed him. While she was bathing and making her toilette, he fixed a
-simple breakfast in the kitchenette. Afterwards, as they were lolling
-over the coffee, he said: “You’re looking beautiful this morning. Your
-face is like ... well, like a wild rose and a breeze flirting with each
-other.”
-
-“I’m only too willing to believe you, Eric,” she answered, softly.
-“Don’t make me conceited now.”
-
-An irresistible impulse came to him. He arose, walked around the table,
-and bent down to her. She curved her arms about his shoulders, and they
-traded a lengthy kiss.
-
-“I’m in love with you, Blanche,” he said, looking away, after he had
-straightened up.
-
-She grasped one of his hands and answered: “Why, you’re startling me,
-Eric--I’d never have guessed it. Would it surprise, you, too, ’f I said
-I loved you?”
-
-“Say it and find out.”
-
-“Well, I do.”
-
-He bent down and kissed her again. Then he clenched one of his fists
-and walked away. It would have to be told now ... or never.
-
-“Let’s sit on the couch, Blanche, I want to talk to you,” he said.
-
-After she had acquiesced they were silent for a full minute, while she
-looked at him and wondered at his nervous remoteness. Then he turned to
-her.
-
-“I suppose you don’t know that I’m a negro,” he said.
-
-She stared at him with an unbelieving frown on her face.
-
-“A ... what?” she asked.
-
-“A man of negro blood. My grandfather was white and he married a
-negress, and my mother married another white man. That’s the story.”
-
-As she stared at him she felt too stunned for any single emotion.
-
-“Eric, you’re fooling me, aren’t you?” she asked at last, slowly.
-
-“No, it’s the truth.”
-
-“But ... but, Eric, you look exactly like a white man! It can’t be
-true.”
-
-“It is, just the same,” he answered, oddly relieved, now that he had
-blurted the thing out, and stoically waiting for her words to strike
-him. “I have just a small fraction of negro blood, as you see, and most
-people, like you, mistake me for a white man. God, how I wish I were
-coal-black--it would have saved me from the heartache that’s coming to
-me now!”
-
-She looked away from him for a while, with a veritable _mêlée_ of
-fear, brave indifference to the revelation, and self-doubt contending
-within her. Eric Starling was a negro, and she had fallen in love
-with him, and ... would she be averse to touching him, now? Would it
-make any difference? She reached for his hand and held it tightly for
-a moment, almost in an absurd effort to discover the answer to the
-question. Oh, what were words, anyway? He could tell her that he was
-negro until he became blue in the face, but he didn’t give her the
-feeling of one. Somehow, he just didn’t have the physical essence which
-she had always felt in the presence of other negroes, even those at
-the Vanderin party. He just didn’t have it. There was a fresh, lovely
-sturdiness attached to his body, and she wanted to be in his arms, and
-she couldn’t help herself. She loved him with every last blood-drop in
-her heart.
-
-But the future, with all its ghastly dangers and troubles. If she
-married him, or if they lived together, her father and brothers would
-try to kill him, or injure him--she knew what _they_ would do well
-enough, the stupid roughnecks--and her mother would weep and shriek,
-and perhaps try to kill herself, and other people would shun them,
-or make trouble for them. Even the dirty newspapers might take it
-up--hadn’t she read last week about a negro who had been hounded out
-of a New Jersey town because he loved a white girl and they wanted to
-marry each other? People were always like wolves, waiting to leap upon
-you if you dared to disregard any of their cherished “Thou Shalt Nots”
-... just like wolves. The whole world seemed to be in a conspiracy to
-prevent people from becoming natural beings and doing as they pleased,
-even when their acts couldn’t possibly injure anybody. It was terrible.
-
-And she herself, would she have courage enough to defy everything
-for his sake, and would her love for him continue in spite of all
-the threats and intrusions? She turned to look at him again. He was
-slumping down on the couch, with his hands resting limply on his
-outstretched legs, and his head lowered. All of her heart bounded
-toward him, and she flung herself against him and cried: “I don’t care
-what you are, Eric! I love you and I’m going to stick to you. I love
-you, Eric, dear one.”
-
-With hosannas in his heart, he placed his arms around her, and they
-passed into an incoherence of weeping, and kissing, and whispered
-endearments, and sighs, and strainings. A full hour passed in this way
-before they could slowly return to some semblance of composure. Then,
-gradually, they tried to discuss the predicament facing them.
-
-“You’re sure that you love me now, dear, but you’ve got to be doubly
-sure,” he said. “We won’t see each other for the next two weeks, and
-we’ll have a chance to think things over then. It’ll be hard, hard, but
-we’ve simply got to do it. Our minds will work better when we’re alone.”
-
-“Perhaps you’re right, Eric,” she said, slowly, “but it wouldn’t change
-me any ’f I didn’t see you for a year, ’r a lifetime. Don’t be afraid
-of that.”
-
-“You think so now, and, God, I hope it’s true, but you must realize
-what we’re going to be up against,” he answered. “Your family will
-raise hell, of course, and other people will turn their backs on us,
-and you’ll have to mingle with negro friends of mine and live among
-them.... Are you sure you’ll be able to face all these things?”
-
-She hid her head on the couch for a while, and then raised it.
-
-“I’ll be honest with you, Eric,” she said. “I’ll love you for the rest
-of my life, and I’ll never have anything to do with any other man, but
-I don’t know whether I’m brave enough to marry you and ... and take all
-the blows you’ve been talking about. I just don’t know.”
-
-“If I were less selfish I’d give you up for your own good,” he
-answered, moodily.
-
-“How about myself?” she asked. “Don’t you know I’m afraid that my
-father and my brothers will try to hurt you, ’r even kill you? Why, I
-can see the anger and the meanness on their faces right now, and it
-won’t do any good to talk to them! ’F I were less selfish, I’d want to
-give _you_ up, just to save you, Eric.”
-
-He kissed her again, and they murmured promises and were loath to
-withdraw from each other. Finally, she rose from the couch and tried to
-bring a brave smile to her face.
-
-“I’ve simply got to be going now, Eric,” she said. “I’ll come up here
-the Saturday after next, two weeks from now, dear, ’r I’ll write you
-’f I just must see you sooner.... I know I _will_ marry you, Eric, in
-spite of everything--I know I will--but it’ll be better for both of us
-’f we take our time about it.”
-
-“Yes, that’s true,” he answered, as he fondled her cheek. “I’ll spend
-most of the two weeks writing poems to you, when I’m not in harness
-down at Tony’s. It’ll be some consolation, anyway.”
-
-She donned her hat, and they exchanged several “last” hugs before they
-descended to the street, where he called a cab for her and, in spite
-of her protestations, slipped a bill into the driver’s hands. When
-she reached her home, the family were seated in the kitchen, smoking,
-reading the Sunday papers, and occasionally debating on the subject of
-her whereabouts.
-
-“Well, give ’n account of y’rself, come on,” her father said, gruffly,
-as she removed her hat and desperately tried to straighten out the
-wrinkles in her dress. “’F you was out with Campbell again, I’ll make
-him talk turkey this time. He can’t fool around with one of my girls
-and not expect to do the right thing by her.”
-
-His little eyes were tense with irritation and suspicion as he watched
-her.
-
-“Yeh, you’ve got a nerve, all right,” Mabel piped up. “_I_ never come
-trotting in at three in the afternoon! You’re just losing all respect
-for yourself, that’s what.”
-
-“Say, listen, I’m not a child, any more,” Blanche answered, wearily
-resuming the old, useless blah-blahing. “I went to a party down in
-the Village and stayed overnight at my girl-friend’s studio, Margaret
-Wheeler, but I don’t see why I have to make any excuses about it. If
-the rest of you don’t like the way I act, I’ll pack up my things and
-leave, that’s all.”
-
-“You will, huh?” her father asked. “Well, maybe we’ll tell you
-ourselves to clear outa here. ’F you can’t show any respect for your
-folks, then it’s high time somethin’ was done about it!”
-
-“Yeh, that goes for me, too,” Harry said.
-
-He suspected that his sister had rejoined Campbell, and he determined
-to look Joe up and frighten him into marrying her. The damn fool--she
-didn’t have sense enough to look out for herself, and if she kept it
-up, she’d wind up by becoming little better than the easy skirts he
-knocked around with. He wouldn’t let that happen to _his_ sister--not
-he.
-
-Kate Palmer stuck to her invariable rôle of peacemaker, though she
-felt sick at heart at her daughter’s silliness and looseness. She was
-staying out overnight with men and getting to be a regular bad woman.
-It was really terrible.
-
-“Of course, we won’t let you leave home,” she said, “but you’re actin’
-sim-ply awful nowadays. You’ll be disgracin’ all of us the next thing
-we know, gettin’ into some trouble ’r somethin’. Won’t you promise your
-ma not to stay out all night? Won’t you, Blanie?”
-
-“You know I don’t want to hurt you, ma,” Blanche replied, as she
-stroked her mother’s hair, “but just the same, I’ve got to lead my own
-life from now on. I’m a grown-up person, ma, and not a slave.”
-
-“You know we’re just askin’ you to act decint-like, you know it,” her
-mother said, sadly. “We’re none of us tryin’ to hold you down.”
-
-“Yeh, that’s right, you’re getting too bold,” Mabel cut in, with
-disguised envy.
-
-_She_ scarcely ever “went the limit” with men, and why should her
-sister be privileged to be more brazen about it.
-
-During all of these tirades, Blanche had wondered at her own
-indifference--the battle was on again, but now it had only a comical
-aspect. These pent-up, dense, jealous people--could they really be
-related to her own flesh and blood? They seemed to be so remote and
-impossible. None of them, except her mother, stirred her in the least,
-and even there it was only a mild compassion. Yet, once she had loved
-them in a fashion, and felt some degree of a warm nearness that even
-wrangling had never quite been able to remove. What marvels happened
-to you, once your mind began to expand. That was it--their minds were
-still and hard, and little more than the talking slaves of their
-emotions--while hers was restless and separate, and had slowly overcome
-the blindness of her former emotions toward them.
-
-And now ... ah, if they had only known what they really had to rave
-about. How they would have pounced upon her! The sick fear returned
-to her as she reclined upon the bed in her room. Perhaps it might be
-wiser to pack up and leave home immediately. Yet, that would only be a
-breathing spell. If she married Starling, or lived with him, they would
-inevitably investigate and discover his negro blood, and the storm
-would burst, anyway. She tossed about in a brooding indecision.
-
-During the next week she surprised her family by remaining in her room
-each night. What had come over her?--she must be sick, or in some
-secret difficulty. When a girl moped around and didn’t care to enjoy
-herself at night, something must be wrong, especially a girl like
-Blanche, who had always been “on the go” for the past four years.
-They suspected that Campbell or some other man might have given her
-an unwelcome burden, and they questioned her in this respect, but her
-laughing denials nonplussed them. Harry had an interview with Campbell,
-and had grudgingly become convinced that Blanche was no longer going
-out with him. The Palmer family finally became convinced that she had
-really taken their objections to heart and had decided to become a good
-girl.
-
-Blanche wrote feverishly in her room, every night, with a little
-grammar which she had purchased to aid her--descriptions of places
-which she knew, such as cafeterias, dance halls and amusement parks.
-Her anger at human beings, and her sense of humor, fought against
-each other in these accounts, and the result was frequently a curious
-mixture of indignations and grimaces. Starling was ever a vision,
-standing in her room and urging on her hands ... she was writing
-for his sake as well as her own. If the rest of her life was to be
-interwoven in his, she would have to make herself worthy of him, and
-try to equal his own creations, and give him much more than mere
-physical contacts and adoring words. Otherwise, he might become quickly
-tired of her!
-
-Her courage grew stronger with each succeeding night, and a youthful,
-though still sober, elasticity within her began to make plans that
-slew her prostrate broodings. Eric and she would simply run off to
-some remote spot--Canada, Mexico, Paris, anywhere--and then the
-specters and hatreds in their immediate scene would be powerless
-to injure or interfere with them. What was the use of remaining and
-fighting, when all of the odds were against them, and when the other
-side was so stubbornly unscrupulous, so utterly devoid of sympathy and
-understanding? In such a case, they would only be throwing themselves
-open to every kind of attack and intrusion, if not to an almost certain
-defeat. Eric might be a “nigger,” yes, but he certainly didn’t look
-like one, and he was better than any of the white men she had ever met
-... dear, sweet boy ... and she loved him with every particle of her
-heart. She was sure of that now. She had never before felt anything
-remotely equal to the huge, restless emptiness which her separation
-from him had brought her--a sort of can’t-stand-it-not-to-see-him
-feeling that rose within her, even when she was in the midst of
-writing, and kept her pencil idly poised over the paper for minutes,
-while in her fancy she teased his hair, or chided some witticism of
-his. She’d go through ten thousand hells rather than give him up!
-
-After a week and a half had passed, she determined to visit Margaret
-and “talk it over” with the other girl. It wasn’t that Margaret could
-convince her one way or the other--she had made her decision--but
-still, she craved the possible sympathy and encouragement of at least
-one other person besides Eric. It was hard to stand so utterly alone.
-
-After telephoning, and finding that Margaret would be alone that night,
-she hurried down to see her.
-
-The two girls sparred pleasantly and nervously with each other for a
-while as though they were both dreading the impending subject--which
-Margaret had sensed--and futilely trying to delay its appearance.
-Finally, Blanche blurted out, after a silence: “I suppose you know I’m
-in love with Eric Starling, Mart. You must have guessed it, the way I
-fooled around with him at Tony’s.”
-
-“Yes, I’ve been worrying quite a bit about that,” Margaret answered.
-“Do you know that he’s, well--”
-
-“Yes, I know that he’s a negro,” Blanche interrupted. “It’s true, Eric
-has just a little negro blood in him, but you must admit, dear, that
-he’s the whitest-looking one you ever saw.”
-
-“Of course, he’d have fooled me, too, when I first met him, if Max
-hadn’t told me about it,” Margaret said. “I like him, too. He’s
-certainly not fatiguing to look at, and he has a lovely sense of humor,
-but still, can you quite forget about his negro blood when ... oh, when
-you’re petting together, I mean.”
-
-“Can I forget it?--why, I go mad, stark mad, ’f he just puts his hand
-over mine,” Blanche cried. “I’ve never fallen so hard for any man
-in all my life--I mean it, Mart. I arranged not to meet him for two
-weeks--just to see ’f I wouldn’t cool down about him, you know--but
-it’s only convinced me all the more. I’ll never be able to get along
-without him ... never.”
-
-“Well, after all, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have a little
-affair with him, if you’re careful about it,” Margaret replied.
-
-“But it’s much deeper than that,” Blanche said slowly. “We’re both
-perm’nently in love with each other, we really are. It’s a big,
-precious thing, and not just ... well ... not just wanting to have a
-few parties, you know. I’m going to live with him for years and years,
-and maybe marry him right now. It’s the first time I’ve ever loved any
-one.”
-
-“But, Blanche, you’re going to let yourself in for an endless
-nightmare, if that’s the case,” Margaret replied, sorrowfully. “Your
-people will simply raise the roof off, if they’re anything like you
-say they are. And then, all the other things--children, and living
-among his negro friends, and getting snubbed right and left.... Are you
-really sure you love him enough for all that? Are you, really?”
-
-“Yes, I _am_ sure,” Blanche said, in a slow, sick-at-heart, stubborn
-voice. “I’ve thought of everything, don’t worry about that, and it
-hasn’t given me much rest, either. Oh, how I hate this blind, mean
-world of ours!”
-
-“Yes, I know, but hating it never solves anything,” Margaret answered,
-dully.
-
-“Well, I’m going to solve it by running off with him,” Blanche
-continued. “We’ll go far away, to Paris or London--some place where
-nobody’ll know that Eric’s a negro, and we’ll stay there for the rest
-of our lives, that’s all. I don’t care ’f we both have to wash dishes
-for a living, I don’t. It’s all right to fight back when you’ve got a
-chance, but not when everything’s against you.”
-
-“Funny, I never thought of that,” Margaret said, more cheerfully. “It
-might work out that way. Of course, it _is_ cowardly in a way, but
-after all, there’s little sense to being brave in the lions’ den and
-getting devoured. It might work out fine, if you’re both certain your
-love’s going to last. Somehow or other, it’s hard for me to believe
-in a permanent love. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed it in any of the
-people around me. Are you sure you’re not just in a sentimental dream,
-Blanche?”
-
-Blanche reflected for a while.
-
-“Well, ’f we’re both making a mistake, we’ll be happy, anyway, till we
-find it out,” she said at last. “Good Lord, ’f you never take any risks
-in life, why then you’ll be sad all the time, and you won’t have any
-happiness at all, no matter how short it is!”
-
-“Yes, I agree with you there,” Margaret answered, with a sigh.
-
-They fell into a discussion of the practical details of Blanche’s
-possible departure, and the money that would be required, and the
-difficulty of earning a living in Europe, both trying to lose
-themselves in a bright animation. When Blanche parted with Margaret,
-a little after midnight, she felt more confident, and almost
-light-hearted. After all, if two human beings were wise, and brave, and
-forever alert, they simply couldn’t be separated from each other, no
-matter what the dangers were.
-
-The mood remained with her and grew more intense each day, and when she
-rang Starling’s bell at the end of the week, she was almost fluttering
-with hope and resolution. For the first hour they did little more than
-remain in each other’s arms, in a daze and maze of kisses, sighs, and
-simple, reiterated love words. To Starling, huge violins and cornets
-were ravishing the air of the room, and the street sounds outside,
-floating in through an open window, were only the applause of an
-unseen audience. After all, only times like this gave human beings any
-possible excuse for existing--the rest of life was simply a series of
-strugglings, and dodgings, and tantalizings, and defeats. The least
-pressure of her fingertips provoked a fiery somersault within him,
-and the grazing of her bosom and face against his aroused revolving
-conflagrations within his breast. Blanche had become a stunned child,
-scarcely daring to believe in the compensations which were ruffling her
-blood to something more than music, and yet desperately guarding them,
-incoherently whispering over them, endlessly testing them with her
-fingers and lips, lest they prove to be the cruellest of fantasies.
-
-When Blanche and Starling had made a moderate return to a rational
-condition, they began to discuss their future.
-
-“Don’t you see that we must run away, Eric, dear?” she asked. “We’ll
-just be crushed and beaten down, otherwise. My brother Harry, he’d
-never rest till he’d put you in a hospital--oh, but don’t I know
-him--and he might even try to do worse. I get the shivers when I think
-of it.”
-
-Her words were an affront to his courage, and he said: “Listen, I can
-take care of myself--I’ve been through a pretty tough mill.”
-
-“Of course you can, but they wouldn’t fight fair,” she answered,
-impatiently. “They’d just proceed to get you by hook or crook. And
-that’s not half of it. Why, I can just see ev’rybody turning their
-backs on us, ’r making nasty remarks, ’r trying to poison us against
-each other. We’ve just got to run away and live where nobody knows us!”
-
-“No, it would be too yellow,” he replied, stubbornly. “All the things
-you mention will only be a test of our love for each other. If we can’t
-stand the gaff, then our love isn’t what we thought it was.”
-
-“I’m not afraid of that,” she said. “I’d go through anything with you
-’f I thought it was the best thing we could do, but why should we
-stay here and run up against all kinds of suff’rings and insults, and
-dangers, too, just to show how darn brave we are? It’s not cowardly to
-run off when everything’s against us--it’s not.”
-
-“Well, let’s think it over for another week, anyway,” he answered,
-slowly. “I don’t like to slink away, with my tail between my legs, but
-maybe it’s the only thing to do. If we were only starting a little
-affair, like most of the mixed couples that hang out at Vanderin’s
-shack, then it would be different, of course, but we’re probably facing
-a whole lifetime together, and it’s a much more serious matter. The
-trouble is I’ve a great deal of pride in me, honey, and it always wants
-to fight back.”
-
-“I have, too,” she said, “but in a time like this it’s just foolish to
-be so proud--it’ll only help other people to make us unhappy, that’s
-all.”
-
-They were silent for a while, and then he said, with a smile: “Good
-Lord, we’re getting morbid and theatrical. The whole thing may not be
-half as bad as we think it is. Anyway, let’s forget it for one night,
-at least.”
-
-They spent the remainder of the evening in an idyllic way. He read her
-his sensuous, symbolistic poems, and talked about them, and told her
-exciting stories of his past life, while she tried to describe some of
-the struggles and hesitations which had attended the birth of her mind,
-and her search for happiness in the face of sordid punches, and stupid
-jeers, and all the disappointments with which ignorance slays itself.
-They resolved not to become complete lovers until they were really
-living together and removed from fears and uncertainties. When they
-parted at 2 A. M. they were both wrapped up in a warmly exhausted but
-plotting trance. They arranged to meet on the following Wednesday, at
-Tony’s Club, and Blanche felt feathery and on tiptoes, as she rode back
-to the uninviting home which she would soon leave forever.
-
-The next four days were excruciating centuries to her, and she was
-barely able to stagger through the nagging, drab details of her work
-at Madame Jaurette’s. She spent her nights writing in her room,
-and the even trend of her days remained uninvaded until Tuesday
-evening, when she found a letter waiting for her at home. It was from
-Oppendorf, who told her that he had polished up her account of the
-Vanderin party and had sold it to a New York magazine of the jaunty,
-trying-hard-to-be-sophisticated kind. She was overjoyed as she stared
-at the fifty-dollar check which he had enclosed, and she could scarcely
-wait to tell the news to Eric. Now she had proved her mettle, and was
-on the road to becoming a creative equal of his--blissful thought.
-
-When she met him at Tony’s, she gayly extracted the check from her
-purse and waved it in front of his face.
-
-“Now what do you think of your stupid, hair-curling Blanche?” she asked
-elatedly.
-
-He laughed at her excitement as he led her to a table.
-
-“You haven’t made me believe in your ability just because you’ve been
-accepted by a frothy, snippy magazine,” he said. “I knew all about it
-the first night I met you.”
-
-“Never mind, this means I’m going to make a name for myself,” she
-answered, proudly.
-
-He gave her a fatherly smile--what a delicious combination of naïvetés
-and instinctive wisdoms she was.
-
-“I felt the same way when I first broke into print,” he said. “The
-excitement dies down after a while, and then you don’t care so much
-whether people like your stuff or not. You get down to a grimly
-plodding gait, old dear, and you start to write only for yourself. Then
-each acceptance means only so many dollars and cents.”
-
-She retorted merrily: “Wet ra-ag--don’t try to dampen my spirits. It
-can’t be done.”
-
-The brazenly sensual clatter and uproar of Tony’s pounded against their
-minds, and even Starling, more skeptically inured to it, and knowing
-every hidden, sordid wrinkle in the place, became more flighty and
-swaggering as he danced with Blanche. It meant something, now that
-the girl whom he really loved was stepping out beside him, and it
-had become something less gross than a collection of rounders, sulky
-or giggling white and colored flappers, fast women, and hoodwinked
-sugar-papas spending their rolls to impress the women beside them. Now
-it was an appropriate carnival-accompaniment to his happiness.
-
-Immersed in Starling, Blanche did not notice the group of newcomers
-who had seated themselves two tables behind her. They consisted of her
-brother Harry, another wooden-faced, overdressed man of middle age, and
-their thickly painted, sullen-eyed ladies of the evening. Harry was
-settling the details of a whisky-transaction with Jack Compton, the
-other man.
-
-“We’ll have the cases there by midnight on the dot,” he said, in a low
-voice. “I’ve got a cop fixed up, an’ he’s gonna stand guard for us an’
-say it’s K.O., ’f any one tries to butt in. We’ll have to hand him a
-century, though.”
-
-“That’s all right with me,” Compton replied. “You put this deal through
-without slipping up and there’ll be a coupla hundred in it for you.”
-
-“It’s as good as done,” Harry answered, with a heavy nod.
-
-Then, glancing around, he spied Blanche at the other table.
-
-“Say, there’s my crazy sis, Blanche,” he said, pointing to her. “In the
-red pleated skirt, two tables down by the railing. See her, Jack?”
-
-“Yeh ... she’s a good looker, Harry,” Compton replied.
-
-“Say, I know the fellow with her,” one of the woman broke in. “He works
-here--he’s public’ty-man for the joint. Name’s Starling--Eric Starling.
-I met him down here about a week ago. What’s your sister doing out with
-a nigger, Harry? She seems to be mighty thick with him from the way
-she’s cutting up.”
-
-“Go o-on, he looks damn white to me,” Harry answered, intently scowling
-toward the other table.
-
-“Well, he _is_ a nigger just the same,” the second woman said. “It’s
-known all around here--he don’t deny it any. I’ve seen them like him
-before. They’re only about one-eighth black, I guess.”
-
-“Can’t your sister get any white fellows to go around with?” Compton
-asked. “She must be hard up, trotting around with a shine.”
-
-“Yeh, she’s sure crazy about dark meat, I’ll say,” the first woman
-commented, with a laugh.
-
-The taunts pierced Harry’s thick skin, and a rage grew within him. He’d
-stood for her going with Jews, and wops, and dopey weak-sisters, but a
-nigger was too much! It affronted his family-pride and erectness, and
-made him feel that his friends had been given a chance to ridicule him
-in an indirect way. For all he knew, Blanche might be having intimate
-relations with this coon, or might be even fixing to marry him. The
-thought was like a red-hot iron. His own sister, acting like a slut, in
-a black-and-tan dive, and consorting with a nigger there, or maybe with
-more of them.... By God, he wouldn’t stand for that!
-
-“I’m gonna go over an’ bust him in the nose,” he said, half rising
-from his chair. “He’ll be leavin’ white girls alone after I’m through
-with him!”
-
-Compton pulled Harry back to his chair.
-
-“Keep your shirt on, d’you hear me,” he said. “If you start a scrap
-here you won’t have a chance--every bouncer ’n’ waiter in the place’ll
-be right on top of you. I’ve seen them in action before, and believe
-me, they work just like a machine.”
-
-“Well, I can get in a coupla good cracks at him before they throw me
-out,” Harry persisted. “I want to show that dirty shine where _he_ gets
-off at, makin’ a play for a sister uh mine!”
-
-“You won’t show him this way,” Compton retorted. “You’ll land in the
-hospital, and you’ll land there quick, too. This gang down here don’t
-like a white man’s looks anyway, and they’ll give you the leather, just
-for good luck. Come on, let’s all clear outa here. You can lay for
-him to-morrow night, if you want to, ’r else give your sister a good
-bawling out when you get her home, an’ make her stay away from him.”
-
-“Well, they can’t do nothin’ ’f I go over an’ bawl her out now,” Harry
-said, with a drunken stubbornness.
-
-“Aw, keep your head, Harry, we don’t want to get the girl-friends here
-into no trouble,” Compton replied. “Come on, let’s beat it, Harry.”
-
-The women added their persuasions, and Harry finally gave a reluctant
-assent. He departed with his friends, after vowing to settle the matter
-during the next few days.
-
-Blanche and Starling continued their entranced capers until the
-closing hour, and when they rode to her home, they were steeped in a
-tired and lazy fondness, with their arms around each other and their
-heads close together. The apparitions and doubts had disappeared from
-their situation, as far as they were concerned, and nothing remained
-but a deliciously overheated and rumpled nearness to each other. They
-arranged to meet on the following Saturday night, and exchanged several
-farewell kisses, in the cab, before they reluctantly parted.
-
-Blanche slept until noon, since the day was a holiday--Memorial
-Day--and when she awoke, the other Palmers were eating a late breakfast
-around the kitchen table. As she entered the kitchen, in her kimono,
-the family turned and surveyed her, each bearing a frown on his face.
-Taken aback, and suddenly prodded by an instinctive fear, Blanche
-advanced slowly toward the table. How could they know anything about
-Starling--nonsense. They were probably “sore” at her for some other
-reasons.
-
-After she had seated herself at the table, the bombardment commenced.
-
-“Who was you with last night?” Harry asked, with a sneer, to see
-whether she would lie.
-
-“It’s none of _your_ business,” Blanche replied, coolly, her fears
-soothed now.
-
-“We-ell, that’s a hot one--going around with a nigger is none of our
-business, huh?” Mabel queried, in a shrill voice.
-
-“What do you mean?” Blanche asked, mechanically--the blow had come,
-just when she had least expected it!
-
-She became sick at heart, and dreaded the impending assault, and
-scarcely knew what she could answer. If she became defiant, it would
-only enrage them all the more, and it would be useless, besides ...
-what could she do, oh, what? To attempt to explain matters to her
-family would be ridiculous.
-
-“You know what we mean all right,” her father cried. “You’ve been goin’
-out with a shine--Harry saw you together last night down at Tony’s
-Club. For all we know you may be hooked up with him in the bargain. ’F
-I was sure of it, by God, I swear I’d take a swing at you, daughter ’r
-no daughter!”
-
-Blanche remained silent--what they said to her didn’t matter, and she
-wasn’t afraid of them, but Eric, Eric ... they might kill him, or
-cripple him for life. They were really aroused now as they had never
-been before--she knew them well enough to tell when they were merely
-blustering and when not--and they felt that she was on the verge of
-disgracing and insulting everything that supported their lives--the
-cruelly proud, angry delusion of blood superiority, which they clung
-to as a last resort against all of the submissions and lacks in their
-existences. In their opinion, Eric was little better than a rat, who
-had tried to break into the sacred family kitchen.
-
-Her mother began to speak, through fits of weeping.
-
-“Oh, Blanie, Blanie, what’s come over you? You must be outa your head,
-you must. You’ve just got to give up that nigger you’re goin’ with, ’r
-you’ll be breakin’ my heart.... Blanie, Blanie, promise your ma you’ll
-never give yourself to nobody but a white man ... promise me, Blanie.”
-
-“See what you’re doing to ma,” Mabel said. “You’re just bringing her to
-her grave, that’s what!”
-
-“Well, I’m gonna take a hand in this,” her father cried. “You’ll
-stay away from that fellow from now on, ’r I’ll land in jail f’r
-manslaughter. I’m not kiddin’ any this time. You’ve been havin’ your
-own way, an’ stickin’ up your nose at us, an’ we’ve let you get away
-with it, but you never put over anythin’ like this--hookin’ up with a
-lousy nigger! What have you got to say f’r yourself, huh?”
-
-“Yeh, that’s what I wanta know,” Harry said, as he glowered at her.
-
-The promptings of cunning began to stir in Blanche’s brain. To save
-Eric, she would have to lie, abasing, tricky lies. No other answers
-were possible. If she strove to argue with her family now, or if she
-showed a hairbreadth of independence, they would instantly seek Eric
-out, and even his life might be in danger. She was certain of that.
-
-“I’ve only gone out with him twice,” she said. “I didn’t know he was a
-negro, I swear I didn’t. I only found it out last night, just before I
-left him. He told me he was then, and I was good and mad about it. I
-called him down for daring to make up to me, and I told him I’d never,
-never see him again. He looks just like a white man, and he’d fool
-almost anybody. I swear he would.”
-
-“Bla-anie, I mighta known it was somethin’ like this,” her mother
-cried, joyously. “’Course you won’t see him no more, now you’ve found
-out, ’course you won’t.”
-
-“I should say not,” Blanche answered, vigorously. “I’m not picking out
-negroes this year, unless I don’t know what they are.”
-
-Blanche hated herself for the groveling words which she forced from her
-mouth, and yet she felt that she had given the only shrewd answer that
-could possibly placate the stupid viciousness assailing her. She’d be
-willing to become a carpet, for Eric’s sake, any day in the year, no
-matter what nausea might be attached to the proceeding.
-
-“Well, all right then, we’ll let it rest,” her father said, in a
-growling voice; “but just the same, Harry an’ me’ll keep a close watch
-on you. ’F you’re not tellin’ us a straight story, it’ll be bad for
-this Starling guy. We’ll put him in a nice, tight hotel, all right.”
-
-“I’m with you there,” Harry broke in. “What I’d like to know is why she
-didn’t speak up when we started to ask her about it.”
-
-“Gee, you were all on top of me like a ton of bricks,” Blanche
-answered. “I didn’t have a chance to say anything. Besides, I was
-ashamed of the whole thing.”
-
-“Sure, I can understand that,” Philip said, eagerly, glad that his
-favorite sister had not been intending to disgrace them after all.
-“Didn’t Harry say this morning that it was hard to tell this Starlun
-guy from a white fellow? Blanche was just taken in, that’s all.”
-
-“’Course she was,” Mrs. Palmer affirmed.
-
-“Well, I’m not sayin’ she wasn’t,” her father replied. “We’ll just keep
-tabs on her, anyway, an’ make sure of it.”
-
-Blanche continued her meek explanations and protests of innocence, and
-her family gradually calmed down and resumed a surface quietness. She
-knew that the suspicions of her father and Harry were still smoldering,
-and that these two would probably shadow her for some time, or use
-some other means to become cognizant of her nightly destinations and
-companions. She noticed also the speculative looks that Mabel gave her
-now and then. Mabel was too expert a liar not to doubt her sister’s
-tale, and she determined to do a little “snooping around” herself. You
-never can tell about Blanche.
-
-The remainder of the day and night held a nightmare to Blanche. She
-had to affect a nonchalant mien--they would doubt her again if she
-showed any sadness or depression--and the strain was infinite, like
-holding up a boulder. Visions of Eric’s lifeless body dodged in and out
-of her mind and made her shiver helplessly. Harry and his gangsters
-could “get” poor Eric without half trying, and it would be useless to
-attempt to flee with him now, since she would be under the severest of
-scrutinies, where any false move might bring misfortune. Still, wasn’t
-there another way out of it? Why couldn’t they remain scrupulously
-apart from each other for half a year, or even longer, and then, when
-all of the suspicions and spyings had completely vanished, suddenly
-run away together? By that time her family would certainly have
-forgotten the matter, and in the interim, she could go about with other
-men--somehow compelling herself--and outwardly maintain her normal
-ways. A wan approach to cheerfulness possessed her, and late that
-night, she sat up in bed and wrote to Eric:
-
- MY DEAREST BOY:
-
- My brother Harry saw us at Tony’s last night, and this morning they
- gave me hell. It was no use to argue with them and make them even
- nastier--just no use. They said they would kill you, dearest, and
- I know they were not fourflushing when they said it. They’re cruel
- and stupid, and to their way of thinking, I’d disgrace and humiliate
- them if I ever married you. It’s what they cling to when everything
- else shows them how small they are--this snarling, keep-off pride in
- being white.... I lied to them and said I hadn’t known that you were
- colored, and swore I’d never see you again. Please, please forgive
- me, Eric. They’d have killed you if I hadn’t lied. And please,
- Eric, you must do as I say. This is the plan I have. We won’t see
- each other for exactly six months, and then we’ll suddenly run away
- together. Everything will be quiet then, and before they know what’s
- happened, we’ll be hundreds of miles away. If we tried it now we
- wouldn’t have a chance. Please, dearest boy, write and tell me you’ll
- do as I say. I love you more than anything else in life, and you’re
- like a prince walking through some rose-bushes, and you fill all of
- my heart, and I’ll never give you up--never be afraid of that. Answer
- me at once and address the letter to Madame Jaurette’s. I’m sending
- you a thousand kisses, dearest boy.
- BLANCHE.
-
-After finishing the letter, she felt woebegonely relieved and slightly
-hopeful, and the mood stayed with her through the following day of
-work at the Beauty Shop. She had placed a special-delivery stamp on
-the letter, and he received it in a few hours. After he had read and
-reread it several times, with a touch of anger lurking in his numbness,
-he began to pace up and down in his room, as though striving to goad
-himself into life again. Was she really giving him up, and trying to
-hide the blow with promises of a future escape? Was she?... No, Blanche
-was too inhumanly honest for that--even if she had wanted to lie, she
-could never have induced herself to put the words on paper. If he
-were wrong in this belief, then he would lose all of his faith in his
-ability to peer into human beings, and would call himself a fool for
-the remainder of his life! Somehow, a tremor of simple sincerity seemed
-to run through her letter--he couldn’t be mistaken.
-
-Well, what then? If he persisted in running off with Blanche now, it
-might lead to melodrama. White gangsters such as her brother would
-not hesitate about attempting to “croak him off.” He wasn’t afraid of
-actually fighting them, but any man was always defenseless against a
-sudden bullet or knife-thrust, and he certainly didn’t care to die that
-way. B-r-r, the thought brought a fine sweat to his temples. No, these
-whites were little better than rodents, when their angry pride was
-aroused, and you had to use some of their own tactics, or perish.
-
-They regarded him as a dirty nigger, these lily-pure, intelligent,
-lofty, noble-hearted people. What a nauseating joke! But, joke or no
-joke, it had to be grappled with. Blanche was right after all--when
-you were in a trap you had to gnaw slyly at the things binding you.
-It was galling to your erect defiance to admit it, but often, in a
-dire crisis, an imbecilic bravery brought you no gain, and caused
-your extinction. Yes, Blanche was right--it would be best for them to
-separate for half a year and then take the other side by surprise, with
-a thumb-twiddling swiftness. They would have to be patient--splendidly,
-grimly, bitterly patient--and somehow control the aches and cries in
-their hearts.
-
-Of course, during the coming months, he would go out with women now and
-then, or chat with them--as a feeble diversion--but he would shun any
-intimate relations with them, if it were humanly possible. A pretty,
-well-shaped girl could always affect a man, in a purely physical
-way--he wasn’t trying naively to delude himself on _that_ score--but
-just the same he intended to try his damnedest to remain faithful to
-Blanche. She invaded and stirred him as no other woman had, and if he
-consorted with other girls now, it would be a taunting and unanswerable
-aspersion against the depth and uniqueness of his love for her. In such
-a case he would be forced to admit that all of love was only an easily
-incited lust--but it wasn’t true. He _would_ remain faithful to her.
-
-He sat down and wrote a hopeful, agreeing letter, expressing his
-implicit belief in her, and swearing that he would remain true, and
-urging her to emulate his jaunty fortitude.
-
-When she received the letter on the following afternoon, a surge of
-youthful determination almost drove the darkness out of her heart. If
-he had written morbidly, or in despair, her tottering and beleaguered
-feelings would have been crushed, but now she felt armored and half-way
-restored to her former happiness. After all, they were both very young,
-and six months now were little more than six hours in _their_ lives.
-
-During the next month she went to cabarets and theaters with other
-men, and wearily repulsed their inevitable attempts to embrace her
-afterwards, and preserved a careful attitude toward her family--not
-too friendly and not too ill-tempered. They would have suspected her
-of playing a part if she had suddenly seemed to become too pliable
-and harmonious. She saw Margaret and Oppendorf once, but did not tell
-them anything concerning the developments in her relations with Eric.
-She feared that they would advise her never to see him again, and she
-didn’t care to pass through the futile torments of an argument. She had
-made up her mind, and no human being could change it.
-
-When a month had passed, however, a restlessly jealous mood stole
-imperceptibly over her. Perhaps Eric was running about with other girls
-now; perhaps his head was pressed against the smooth tenderness of
-their bosoms, or perhaps he had found another girl, far more beautiful
-and intelligent than any Blanche Palmer. The mood reached a climax one
-Sunday afternoon, as she boarded an “L” train and rode down to the
-Battery. Yes, of course, he must have forgotten her by now. He met tens
-of women every night down at Tony’s, and among all of them it would
-be easy for him to find a quick-minded, tempting girl--perhaps one
-of his own race, who would not lead him into staggering troubles and
-difficulties.
-
-She sat on a bench facing the greenish-gray swells of dirty water, and
-watched the bobbing boats, and the laboriously swaying barges, and
-the straining, smoky tugs. A mood of plaintive, barely wounded peace
-settled about her, in spite of the jealous ranklings underneath. For an
-hour she sat draped in this acceptant revery, with her mind scarcely
-stirring. Then, glancing up, she saw that Eric was standing beside her.
-
-For almost half a minute they stared at each other, without shifting
-their positions.
-
-“Eric ... darling ... what are you doing here?” she asked at last.
-
-“I never dreamt I’d see you,” he answered. “I was walking along and
-trying to forget my blues when I caught sight of you. I tried hard to
-turn around then and avoid you, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t.”
-
-“I’m so glad you didn’t,” she said, as he sat down beside her. “Eric,
-my boysie, what’s been happening to you?”
-
-“Oh, I’ve been plodding along, and writing poems to you, and extolling
-the barbaric charms of Tony’s,” he replied. “I’d get worried and
-hopeless every now and then, thinking you were in some other man’s
-arms ... just like a boy who doesn’t know whether he’s going to be
-whipped or petted.”
-
-“That’s exactly how I felt,” she cried. “Why, say, I had you falling in
-love with every snippy, doll-faced girl in New York!”
-
-They laughed--softly, ruefully, and with a relaxing weariness.
-
-“How about your exquisite people?” he asked, after a pause. “Do they
-still keep a close watch on you?”
-
-“No, I think they’re completely deceived by now,” she said. “I’ve
-played a foxy game, you know--going out with other men, and bragging
-about them, and hiding my feelings all the time. I was so afraid that
-somebody you know would see me with some fellow and tell you about it.
-I just couldn’t help it, darling. One little break might have given me
-away, and I just had to fool my folks. There wasn’t any other way.”
-
-“Sure, I understand,” he replied, as he stroked her hand and looked at
-her with the expression of a man relievedly twitting his past fears and
-pains.
-
-They were silent for a while, reveling in the unexpected, warm nearness
-to each other and feeling a giddy swirl of revived faiths and hopes.
-Their first little rush of reassuring words had aroused all of the
-deferred plans and buried braveries within them, but the awakening was
-not yet articulate enough for spoken syllables. They longed to embrace
-each other with an open intensity, and the effort needed to control
-this desire also served to prevent them from talking. Then Blanche
-remembered a fear which she had experienced during the previous week.
-
-“Eric, did you ever see a play called ‘God’s People Got Wings?’” she
-asked.
-
-“No, but I’ve heard about it.”
-
-“Well, it certainly made me shiver,” she said. “One of Oppendorf’s
-friends took me down to see it, and I’ve never had such a dreadful
-time in my life. It was all about a colored man marrying a white girl.
-It ended up with the colored boy killing his wife and then committing
-suicide--think of it!--and I was just gripping the sides of my seat all
-the time.”
-
-“Were you afraid it might have some connection with us?” he asked,
-gravely.
-
-“No, no, of course not,” she answered, as she clutched his hand. “D’you
-think I’m silly enough to let some prejudiced man tell me whether I’m
-going to be happy or not? No, Eric, it wasn’t that, but I did feel
-angry and upset, and, we-ell ... it set me to wondering. Why do all
-these writers now always insist that colored and white people weren’t
-meant to get along with each other--oh, why do they?”
-
-“Mister Shakespeare revived it with his Othello and it’s been going
-strong ever since,” he replied, with a contention of forlorn and
-contemptuous inflections in his voice. “It can’t be argued about. Most
-of them are perfectly sincere, and they really believe that people of
-different races always hate and fear each other at the bottom. You
-could get yourself blue in the face telling them exceptional men and
-women aren’t included in this rule, but it wouldn’t make the slightest
-impression.”
-
-“But why are they so stubborn about it?” she asked.
-
-“That’s easy,” he answered, wearily. “They don’t want to admit that
-there’s the smallest possibility of the races ever coming together.
-It’s a deep, blind pride, and they simply can’t get rid of it. They’re
-hardly ever conscious of it, Blanche, but it’s there just the same.
-Why, even Vanderin isn’t free from it. Take that latest book of
-his--Black Paradise--and what do you find? What? He’s just a bystander
-trying to be indulgent and sympathetic. It’s the old story. Negroes are
-primitive and sa-avage at the bottom, and white people aren’t ... white
-people like your brother, I suppose.”
-
-He had been unable to restrain the sarcasm of his last words because
-his wounds had cried out for a childish relief. She had listened to
-him with a fascination that was near to worship ... what a dear, wise,
-eloquent boy he was! When he talked, even the ghosts of her former
-specters fled from her heart. Let the world call him a nigger--what did
-it matter? They didn’t care whether he was beautiful or not--all they
-wanted was to “keep him in his place,” these in-tel-li-gent people,
-just because he happened to have a mixture of blood within him.
-
-“Oh, let’s not talk any more about it,” she said. “We’re in love with
-each other, Eric, boysie, and ... ’f other people don’ like it they can
-stand on their heads, for all I care!”
-
-He fondled her shoulder, gratefully, and an uproar was in his heart.
-
-“Blanche, what’s the use of waiting and waiting?” he asked at last.
-“We’re only suffering and denying ourselves when there’s no reason for
-it. Let’s run off to-morrow and marry each other. If we wait too long
-we’ll feel too helpless about it--it’ll grow to be a habit with us. I
-can’t exist any longer without you, Blanche--it’s just impossible ...
-impossible. I’ll draw out the thousand I have in the bank and we’ll hop
-a train for Chicago to-morrow afternoon. Don’t you see it’s useless to
-keep postponing it, Blanche?”
-
-His eagerness, and her longing for him, expelled the last vestige of
-her fears.
-
-“Yes, dear, I’ll go with you to-morrow,” she said.
-
-Their hands gripped each other with the power of iron bands, and they
-stared hopefully out across the greenish-gray swells of water.
-
-
-THE END
-
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