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diff --git a/old/67342-0.txt b/old/67342-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 42d2a15..0000000 --- a/old/67342-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,890 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Marriage of William Durrant, by -Ray Cummings - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: The Marriage of William Durrant - -Author: Ray Cummings - -Release Date: February 6, 2022 [eBook #67342] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Roger Frank and Sue Clark. This file was produced from - images generously made available by The Internet Archive. - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MARRIAGE OF WILLIAM DURRANT *** - - - Marriage of William Durrant - - By Ray Cummings - - -[Illustration] - -My marriage has been a failure. I am one of those unfortunate men with -whom fate deals unjustly. I tried my best. I started with plenty of -opportunity, with what I thought was every chance of success. I -worked the whole thing out carefully—I knew what was necessary for our -happiness and I went after it, sanely and unswervingly. I lacked -neither ambition nor purpose; I did not shirk hard work. - -I did my best always—the best both for her and for me. And I lost. The -woman I loved and trusted—trusted too much, I know now—deceived me. My -honor has been trampled under foot—my marriage wrecked in spite of the -fact I did everything I could to make it a success. - -I shall tell you about it plainly, just as it occurred. - - * * * * * - -My name is William Durrant; I was born in Philadelphia thirty-two -years ago. My family was prominent in Philadelphia society; my mother -a woman of superior culture and a very great social ambition. - -I received a university education and then entered my father’s -business—wholesale neckwear. My mother died soon after this, and as I -had no brothers or sisters—or in fact any near relatives—my father and -I were drawn very close together. - -It was then I learned for the first time the true state of my father’s -affairs. I can remember perfectly that evening when he had his first -intimate talk with me; it was about two months after my mother died. - -“Sit down, Will,” he began. We were in the library of the old Durrant -mansion on Arch Street. “I want to talk to you—seriously.” - -We drew our chairs together before the fire and I lighted a cigarette. - -“You’re not a child any more, Will,” he went on. “You’re nearly -twenty-six—a man.” He laid his hand on mine with more evidence of -affection than I had ever had from him before. “We’re all alone -now—you and I. There are many things you don’t understand—and I want -you to—for we must be very close to each other now.” - -I waited, wondering. - -“You think we’re rich, don’t you? Your mother did, and God knows I was -not the one to undeceive her.” He laughed a little bitterly, glancing -around the luxuriously furnished room. - -“We have always had luxury. Your mother demanded it, Will—it was her -life. The Philadelphia Durrants! Luxury—social prestige—I have -maintained them, all these years—at what a cost!” He passed his hand -across his eyes wearily. - -“It’s all a sham, Will—a sham. But now it’s over—there’s only you and -me to please. The bubble is broken. Only you and me—and the wreck of a -business for us to save.” He raised his hand to check my sharp -exclamation. - -“I have hidden this from you, Will. But we won’t go into that now—it’s -unimportant. - -“I want to talk of you. For twenty-six years you have been scarcely -under my guidance. I cannot blame your mother—only myself. I’ve known -the sort of life you’ve been leading away from home—the sort of -friends you have—the women—” He raised his hand again, and his voice -rose sharply. - -“Did you think I didn’t know about the money you lost at cards, and -your mother gave you, time and time again? Do you think I’m ignorant -of the fact that you—my son—are to-day in the way of becoming a -wastrel? Do you think so?” - -I laughed. “You’re crazy.” - -His face softened; he put his hand again over mine. “I cannot blame -you—only myself. It is the way you were brought up. But I want you to -change, Will. I want you to see yourself and me as we are—I want you -to love me. We will work together, you and I—work to find some of the -good things in life—the real things. I know we’ll find them if we -try—if we really pull together.” - -Three weeks later he was dead. - -This talk with my father, and one or two others we had subsequently, -made a great impression on me. When he died of pneumonia, after an -illness of only a few days, leaving me utterly alone in the world, I -resolved to take his advice, for my own good, and act differently. The -business he left me was indeed in a precarious condition. He had drawn -from it heavily during the last ten years to meet my mother’s -demands—and more lately, mine—and handicapped thus by a depleted -capital it was going down-hill rapidly. - -I realized then that life was not worth living unless one were -rich—really rich—for money held everything desirable. My father was -right—the social prestige my mother had maintained was a sham. Without -the solidity of real wealth it could never be anything but a bubble -that might burst at any moment. I resolved then to settle down; to -work untiringly at this business that had been left me. - -I found, when my father’s affairs had been settled up, a truly -astounding number of debts. It has never been my way to do things by -halves; I sold the Arch Street house, settled the debts, and moved the -business and myself to New York for a fresh start. - -The two years that followed I devoted exclusively to work and saw -myself in a fair way, ultimately, to succeed in my ambition. I lived -for business during these two years—I did nothing else—I thought of -nothing else. The pleasures of life that I had given up I did not -begrudge. They were only postponed. This was my big chance—my only -chance for wealth and happiness through life—and I was unwilling to do -even the smallest thing to jeopardize it. - -Then I met Ruth Wilson, and six months later we were married. She was -five years younger than I—a girl with beauty, of a family nearly the -equal of the Durrants, and with all the social graces—in a word, a -girl of whom any man might be proud. - -I knew she would make me a good wife; it was a safe, satisfactory step -for me to take. I was glad of this, for I was now as cautious of the -things I did as formerly I had been careless. - -We took an apartment on Riverside Drive, and were very happy. We had -no children. I do not like children; I cannot stand their crying. And -besides they are difficult and expensive to bring up properly—father’s -arraignment of me in my younger days showed me that—and it was obvious -that no girl of the grace and beauty of Ruth should be so handicapped. -That she disagreed with me did not alter my opinion, for I realized -that she was hardly more than a child and could not understand things -as I did. - -Our life during these first years of marriage was very satisfactory. I -worked all day at the office, and two or three nights a week played in -a game of cards which we held regularly at the club. I did not -introduce these men to Ruth—they were not her kind—she would not have -understood them. Indeed I should not have played in the game at all, -except that I found the mental relaxation stimulating and helpful to -me, for I was at this time working very hard. My luck, too, seemed to -have changed permanently for the better. Whereas in Philadelphia I had -frequently lost, I now won steadily—sums sufficiently large to justify -in themselves, the amount of time I gave to the pursuit. - -Once or twice a week Ruth and I would go to the theater—to musical -shows generally, for I liked them best—and occasionally we would play -cards with friends. This latter diversion interested me not at all. I -was having enough of card playing outside, and the people to whom Ruth -introduced me were particularly uninteresting. I had no time then for -their chatter about art or music, or the books or plays or operas they -seemed determined to discuss. The whole thing bored me immensely, and -probably, because I do not believe in hypocrisy, I did not hesitate to -let them see how I felt. - -We did not leave New York for the summer months, except twice we spent -a week or two at one of the big Atlantic City hotels. My business -would have permitted me to leave for longer periods, but I did not -feel that we should spend so much money. - -One summer Ruth thoughtlessly suggested that we get away into the -Maine woods and ramble, or to take a canoe trip somewhere. I explained -to her how foolish that was—how she particularly, a girl of breeding, -used to luxury, would not care for that in the way we could afford to -do it. Camping was all right, if it were done properly. We Durrants -once had a big camp in the Adirondacks—my grandfather had established -it. There, with the proper staff of servants and with guests of the -right kind one might rough it comfortably. But my father had given up -that camp, and such things were, as yet, quite beyond my means. - -I pointed out all this to Ruth, showing her plainly how illogical she -was. And so we stayed in town. - -These years, as I have said, were working out very satisfactorily to -Ruth and me. I was getting my business on its feet and the time when -we could enjoy some of the real luxuries of life did not now seem so -very far distant. That Ruth should be so impatient at the delay had -never occurred to me until one day, when we had been married about -three years, she spoke of it. - -“Are you going to keep on indefinitely this way, Will?” she asked -quietly. - -This was apropos of the fact that she wanted me to take her that -evening to the opera. I disliked opera intensely—it seems to me an -extremely morbid—not to say boring—form of amusement. And besides this -was one of the nights our card game was on. I could not explain that -to Ruth—she would not have realized how much more important to our -ultimate good my evening’s winnings would be than a mere evening at -the opera—which in itself was expensive. - -“I’m going to the club,” I answered. - -“Then I shall call up Gerald Rolf and ask him to take me,” she said. - -She still spoke quietly. That was one of Ruth’s peculiarities, I was -soon to discover; she concealed her feelings beneath a quiet, -dignified reserve. I would rather a woman came right out plainly with -what was in her mind. Then you can meet her with logic. - -“That’s agreeable to me,” I rejoined, and went to the club. - -I have not mentioned Gerald Rolf. He was a good-natured sort of boy—at -least I considered him so at that time—a year or so older than Ruth. -He was an artist, painted weird-looking landscapes, and to make his -living, did magazine illustrating. When Ruth first introduced him to -me I thought he was a nice enough boy, except that his interminable -piano-playing was a nuisance. - -I was soon undeceived about Gerald Rolf, soon made to realize how -uncertain is happiness and how even the most innocent circumstances -may become a menace to a married man so easy-going, so tolerant as I. - -Ruth seemed to like Rolf immensely, although why I could not imagine. -I had one or two long talks with him. He knew nothing about -business—indeed even the simplest things seemed quite beyond his -mental capacity. - -I tried to get him to discuss poker—he said he played it a little. But -the mathematical laws of chance that govern the game he did not grasp -at all. - -“I’m afraid you’ve got me out of my depth, Durrant,” he said, and -laughed. - -Then he wanted me to play a game of chess, which I cannot conceive any -rational-minded person being interested in. - -Gerald Rolf came to our home frequently after that, often on the -evenings I was out. I should have objected to this; but I did not. I -admit this fault freely. I saw their intimacy growing, but I was so -trustful, so confident of Ruth, I did nothing to prevent it. - -He was teaching her chess, he said. And she sang a little to his piano -accompaniment, weird sort of songs—nothing bright or lively of the -kind I liked. And they went to the opera together sometimes—“in the -gallery,” as he laughingly told me, for like all artists he had no -money. Then later, they took to horseback riding. But this was -expensive, and they rode infrequently. - -I saw all this going on, as I have said, and I did nothing to prevent -it. I suppose because Ruth, curiously enough, seemed to enjoy such -things, and her happiness was always uppermost in my mind. It was for -the attainment of that I was working so hard—to be able, some day, to -give her the things that really would make her happy. - -Then, when this had been going on nearly a year, came the climax; and -I learned, with a shock that was all the greater because of its -suddenness, how unjust fate may be to a man who unreservedly trusts -one he loves and who always tries to do the best he can in every way. - -The morning of the particular day I have to tell of, I remember, I -went to the office feeling miserably ill. I had taken a sudden chill -the night before, and rose with a slight fever and the start of the -grip or something of the kind. - -About four o’clock in the afternoon I felt so badly, I left the office -and went home. Ruth was out and I went into the library, planning to -sleep for an hour or two before dinner. I sat down in a large -easy-chair in a darkened corner of the room, partly sheltered from the -window-light by a screen which stood near by. I was feeling really -very miserable and soon fell into a troubled slumber. - -I was awakened by the sound of voices and realized that my wife and -Gerald Rolf were in the room. Evidently they had not seen me. They -were sitting over by the windows and Ruth was serving him tea; I could -just see them from my chair, around the corner of the screen. - -The first words that I heard, as soon as I was fully awake, -electrified me. And yet I remained silent, did not make my presence -known then. I do not know why, for I am not one who believes in -eaves-dropping. - -It was Rolf’s voice. - -“We must face it,” he said. “There is no avoiding it now.” - -Ruth did not answer at once. I saw her face was very pale, and her -hand trembled as she poured him a cup of tea. - -“You should not have told me you loved me, too,” he went on. “That -would have made it easier. You should have rebuked me—sent me away.” - -Another silence. - -“I’m going anyhow,” he added. - -“Gerald!” She put her hand on his arm. - -“There’s no other way, is there?” He met her eyes steadily. “I love -you too much to do anything else but go away. You can understand that, -can’t you? After to-day—after what we’ve confessed to each other.” - -I held myself back with an effort. My brain was whirling. That this -impudent boy should dare talk to Ruth—to my wife—like this! - -There was another silence. Then I saw Ruth slide her hand down his -forearm until her fingers touched his. - -“Have you thought it all over carefully Gerald? Are you sure, quite -sure, that for you to go away—alone—is the best thing—the right -thing?” - -She spoke quietly. Even now she seemed to maintain that reserve I -disliked in her so intensely. - -“Yes,” he said; his voice sounded very tired. “It’s the only thing to -do now—with honor.” - -Honor! He could prate of honor, when by their very words, their -thoughts, they were dragging _my_ honor in the mire! - -“I’m not sure.” She spoke softly—so softly I could hardly hear the -words. “I’m not sure, Gerald. I’ve thought about this, too. I’ve seen -it coming—oh yes, I have—for a very long time. I’ve known what was in -your heart—and in mine. - -“For you to go away—never to see me again—that may be the best -thing—the right thing for you. It will hurt you, of -course—terribly—for a while. And then, inevitably you—you will find -some one else—some other woman who will make you happy.” Her voice -trembled a little but she still spoke evenly. - -“That is what the future holds for you, Gerald. Are you sure you are -not thinking only of yourself when you say we must never see each -other again? What about me?” - -“You! Why, Ruth—” - -“What does the future hold for me? You haven’t thought of that, have -you, Gerald? Not another love like ours—that is open to you—but not to -me. - -“You have known me now two years. You know Will—the sort of man he -is—” I took a new grip on myself at this mention of my name; I would -hear them out. - -“You know Will,” she repeated; a new note of passion came into her -voice. “You know how empty, how utterly devoid of everything that -makes a life worth living mine was until you came into it. All that is -in the past. But the future—have you thought what you are condemning -me to in the future? Have you thought of that, Gerald?” - -He avoided her eyes. “I love you,” he said. “There will be no other -love for me. I _have_ thought it all over—I have faced it—and I -cannot—will not—take our happiness in dishonor.” - -She leaned over the tea-tray and put both her hands on his shoulders, -forcing him to look at her. - -“I love you, Gerald,” she said. “Look at me. I love you with all the -love I once thought I felt for him—the love he did not—could -not—understand. Do you realize what you have brought me with your -love? How you have filled that emptiness that was killing me? How you -have—have made my dreams—all those vague little ideals that fill every -girl’s heart—do you realize how you have made them all come true? - -“You have won my love, Gerald. Are you going to cast it away—and leave -me nothing—because you say that to take it would be dishonorable?” - -Dishonorable! They could talk thus of dishonor! They did not think of -_my_ honor—the honor of William Durrant—that they were dragging about -in the slime of their words. I felt a sudden impulse to leap to my -feet and confront them; but I held myself firm. - -“We must think of him, too,” he said. “We cannot build our happiness -upon the wreck of his life. We cannot do that, Ruth—we would lose out -in the end.” - -She dropped her hands from his shoulders. - -“His life wrecked?” She laughed bitterly. “You do not understand him, -Gerald. Do you think losing me would wreck his life? It would not be -loss of me, but the loss of his wife that would hurt. His wife—his -honor—the honor of William Durrant—that would be attacked. You do not -understand him if you think that.” - -Again she put her hands on his shoulders. - -“I’m fighting, Gerald,” she went on softly. “Fighting for the only -thing worth while that life holds for me. Are you going to let me go -down beaten—a woman who has lost the only good things—real things—a -woman ever can hope for. The love of a real man. And—and children. To -have children—oh, Gerald, you don’t understand—you don’t understand!” - -Her voice broke suddenly and she ended with a sob. I saw his arms go -around her. I pushed my chair back violently and sprang to my feet. - -How it must have surprised them to be so abruptly confronted by me, -the one person in the world they had injured, I can imagine. They both -started guiltily at my sudden appearance. Gerald Rolf rose to his -feet; Ruth sat quiet with her eyes fixed upon my face. - -I strode across the room. I made up my mind then that there would be -no heroics—no melodrama. The Durrants did not have to descend to that -to protect their honor. - -“I have heard all you said,” I began sternly; I looked at each of them -in turn. “I could not help it—sitting there.” - -They met my eyes brazenly. There was a moment of silence; I wondered -which of them would dare address me. Then Gerald Rolf spoke. - -“What you have heard, Mr. Durrant, is all true—every word of it. -Perhaps it is better that you did hear—for now you can see things as -they really are.” He spoke quite quietly, evidently suppressing with -an effort his agitation and fear of the consequences of his folly. - -“Yes, I think now I understand you as you really are—you two. Since -that is so—what do you think you’re going to do about it?” I permitted -myself a veiled sneer with this question. - -“You heard me say what I was going to do,” Gerald Rolf answered. - -Ruth gave a low exclamation and I turned on her sternly. - -“Be quiet,” I said. “We will settle this.” I faced Gerald Rolf again. - -“Your decision is very wise,” I said sarcastically. “It is fortunate -that—” - -“I said I was going away,” he broke in. “Neither of you will ever -again see or hear of me.” - -Again I heard Ruth give a low exclamation. - -“I’m leaving her happiness with you.” - -I took a menacing step toward him as he said this. He faced me with an -assumption of bravery. - -“I’m leaving her to you,” he went on, “What has happened has -been—unfortunate—” His voice faltered, but he drew his lips tightly -together and continued. - -“Perhaps it has been for the best—perhaps the future may hold more -happiness for you both than the past gave you.” - -I could listen to no more of this. - -“Go,” I said sharply. - -He picked up his hat and coat which were lying near by. Then, avoiding -Ruth’s eyes, he turned again to me. - -“I will,” he said. He hesitated. Then: - -“For her sake I hope you will become a man,” he added. - -He met Ruth’s tearful eyes in good-by and before I could answer this -last insult, he had left the room. - -I sent Ruth to her bedroom immediately; she was sobbing hysterically, -in no fit mental condition for me to talk with then. Some hours -later—after I had dined alone, I went in to see her. - -I suffered greatly during those hours—how greatly no one but myself -will ever know. The whole thing came so unexpectedly; I had always -trusted Ruth so implicitly. The fact that a thing so unsavory, so -sordid, should come to me, of all people, almost unnerved me. A -marriage of one of the Durrants to be so besmirched! It was almost -unbelievable. - -Such things had happened to others. That I could understand. But when -I had selected Ruth for my wife, I had been confident of her worth—her -breeding, her very manner seemed to make such a catastrophe as this -impossible. Yet it had come and I had to face it—make the best of -it—hide it from the world as my mother would have done. Our marriage -must go on, of course, but it would never be for me that it had been. - -I found Ruth sitting on her bed staring blankly before her. - -“Well?” I said; I felt that in justice to myself I should be harsh in -this interview. “Well, what have you to say for yourself?” - -She stared at me with a light in her eyes that made me doubt her -sanity. - -“Nothing,” she said, in that irritating, soft voice of hers. “I don’t -know—I cannot think—what to do.” - -I leaned against the wall just inside the doorway. I was quite calm; I -even permitted myself to smile. - -“Won’t you go away now?” she added, almost in a whisper. “You must -leave me alone—I must think—decide—” - -She seemed to be still on the verge of hysteria and I concluded it -would be useless for me to go on talking then. - -“It is a great shock to me,” I said deliberately, “to find that of all -the women in the world I should have chosen one who was bad.” - -With that I turned and left her. - -I spent that evening at the club—trying to forget in the card-playing -the trouble that had come upon me so abruptly. - -The next morning when I went to see Ruth in her room, I found she had -gone, taking with her only a few personal effects! I called up Gerald -Rolf immediately after breakfast; they told me he had left the city. - - * * * * * - -That was six months ago. She did not come back and she has asked me -now to divorce her. She says she has found happiness, and I suppose -she thinks she has. I shall divorce her, of course. I have always -tried to do the right thing. But the unavoidable publicity will hurt -me terribly. - -I have told you what occurred, plainly. I have nothing to add. I tried -my best. Yet, in spite of that—and the injustice of it sometimes makes -me very bitter—my marriage has been a failure. - - -[Transcriber’s Note: This story appeared in the June 12, 1920 issue -of The Argosy magazine.] - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MARRIAGE OF WILLIAM DURRANT *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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Thus, we do not -necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper -edition. - -Most people start at our website which has the main PG search -facility: www.gutenberg.org - -This website includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/old/67342-0.zip b/old/67342-0.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 256f34b..0000000 --- a/old/67342-0.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/67342-h.zip b/old/67342-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index f7d9fe7..0000000 --- a/old/67342-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/67342-h/67342-h.htm b/old/67342-h/67342-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index 479f69d..0000000 --- a/old/67342-h/67342-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,998 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> -<head> - <meta charset="UTF-8" /> - <title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Marriage of William Durrant, by Ray Cummings</title> - <link rel="icon" href="images/cover.jpg" type="image/x-cover" /> - <style> - body { margin-left:8%; margin-right:8%; } - p { text-indent:1.15em; margin-top:0.1em; margin-bottom:0.1em; text-align:justify; } - .ce { text-align:center; text-indent:0; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:auto; margin-right:auto; } - .wi001 { margin-left:12%; width:75% } - .x-ebookmaker .wi001 { margin-left:17%; width:65% } - .mt01 { margin-top:1em; } - .mb01 { margin-bottom:1em; } - h1 { text-align:center; font-weight:normal; font-size:1.4em; margin-top:1em; } - .tn { font-size:0.9em; border:1px solid silver; margin-bottom:2em; margin-top:1.8em; margin-left:8%; width:80%; padding:0.4em 2%; } - </style> -</head> -<body> -<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Marriage of William Durrant, by Ray Cummings</p> -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Marriage of William Durrant</p> -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Ray Cummings</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: February 6, 2022 [eBook #67342]</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Roger Frank and Sue Clark. This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive.</p> -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MARRIAGE OF WILLIAM DURRANT ***</div> -<div class='ce'> -<h1 style='margin-bottom:0em;'>Marriage of William Durrant </h1> -<div style='font-size:1.1em;margin-bottom:2em;'>By Ray Cummings </div> -</div> -<div id='i001' class='mt01 mb01 wi001'> - <img src='images/illus-001.jpg' alt='' style='width:100%' /> -</div> -<p>My marriage has been a failure. I am one of those unfortunate men with -whom fate deals unjustly. I tried my best. I started with plenty of -opportunity, with what I thought was every chance of success. I -worked the whole thing out carefully—I knew what was necessary for our -happiness and I went after it, sanely and unswervingly. I lacked -neither ambition nor purpose; I did not shirk hard work.</p> - -<p>I did my best always—the best both for her and for me. And I lost. The -woman I loved and trusted—trusted too much, I know now—deceived me. My -honor has been trampled under foot—my marriage wrecked in spite of the -fact I did everything I could to make it a success.</p> - -<p>I shall tell you about it plainly, just as it occurred.</p> - -<div style='height:1em;'></div> -<p>My name is William Durrant; I was born in Philadelphia thirty-two -years ago. My family was prominent in Philadelphia society; my mother -a woman of superior culture and a very great social ambition.</p> - -<p>I received a university education and then entered my father’s -business—wholesale neckwear. My mother died soon after this, and as I -had no brothers or sisters—or in fact any near relatives—my father and -I were drawn very close together.</p> - -<p>It was then I learned for the first time the true state of my father’s -affairs. I can remember perfectly that evening when he had his first -intimate talk with me; it was about two months after my mother died.</p> - -<p>“Sit down, Will,” he began. We were in the library of the old Durrant -mansion on Arch Street. “I want to talk to you—seriously.”</p> - -<p>We drew our chairs together before the fire and I lighted a cigarette.</p> - -<p>“You’re not a child any more, Will,” he went on. “You’re nearly -twenty-six—a man.” He laid his hand on mine with more evidence of -affection than I had ever had from him before. “We’re all alone -now—you and I. There are many things you don’t understand—and I want -you to—for we must be very close to each other now.”</p> - -<p>I waited, wondering.</p> - -<p>“You think we’re rich, don’t you? Your mother did, and God knows I was -not the one to undeceive her.” He laughed a little bitterly, glancing -around the luxuriously furnished room.</p> - -<p>“We have always had luxury. Your mother demanded it, Will—it was her -life. The Philadelphia Durrants! Luxury—social prestige—I have -maintained them, all these years—at what a cost!” He passed his hand -across his eyes wearily.</p> - -<p>“It’s all a sham, Will—a sham. But now it’s over—there’s only you and -me to please. The bubble is broken. Only you and me—and the wreck of a -business for us to save.” He raised his hand to check my sharp -exclamation.</p> - -<p>“I have hidden this from you, Will. But we won’t go into that now—it’s -unimportant.</p> - -<p>“I want to talk of you. For twenty-six years you have been scarcely -under my guidance. I cannot blame your mother—only myself. I’ve known -the sort of life you’ve been leading away from home—the sort of -friends you have—the women—” He raised his hand again, and his voice -rose sharply.</p> - -<p>“Did you think I didn’t know about the money you lost at cards, and -your mother gave you, time and time again? Do you think I’m ignorant -of the fact that you—my son—are to-day in the way of becoming a -wastrel? Do you think so?”</p> - -<p>I laughed. “You’re crazy.”</p> - -<p>His face softened; he put his hand again over mine. “I cannot blame -you—only myself. It is the way you were brought up. But I want you to -change, Will. I want you to see yourself and me as we are—I want you -to love me. We will work together, you and I—work to find some of the -good things in life—the real things. I know we’ll find them if we -try—if we really pull together.”</p> - -<p>Three weeks later he was dead.</p> - -<p>This talk with my father, and one or two others we had subsequently, -made a great impression on me. When he died of pneumonia, after an -illness of only a few days, leaving me utterly alone in the world, I -resolved to take his advice, for my own good, and act differently. The -business he left me was indeed in a precarious condition. He had drawn -from it heavily during the last ten years to meet my mother’s -demands—and more lately, mine—and handicapped thus by a depleted -capital it was going down-hill rapidly.</p> - -<p>I realized then that life was not worth living unless one were -rich—really rich—for money held everything desirable. My father was -right—the social prestige my mother had maintained was a sham. Without -the solidity of real wealth it could never be anything but a bubble -that might burst at any moment. I resolved then to settle down; to -work untiringly at this business that had been left me.</p> - -<p>I found, when my father’s affairs had been settled up, a truly -astounding number of debts. It has never been my way to do things by -halves; I sold the Arch Street house, settled the debts, and moved the -business and myself to New York for a fresh start.</p> - -<p>The two years that followed I devoted exclusively to work and saw -myself in a fair way, ultimately, to succeed in my ambition. I lived -for business during these two years—I did nothing else—I thought of -nothing else. The pleasures of life that I had given up I did not -begrudge. They were only postponed. This was my big chance—my only -chance for wealth and happiness through life—and I was unwilling to do -even the smallest thing to jeopardize it.</p> - -<p>Then I met Ruth Wilson, and six months later we were married. She was -five years younger than I—a girl with beauty, of a family nearly the -equal of the Durrants, and with all the social graces—in a word, a -girl of whom any man might be proud.</p> - -<p>I knew she would make me a good wife; it was a safe, satisfactory step -for me to take. I was glad of this, for I was now as cautious of the -things I did as formerly I had been careless.</p> - -<p>We took an apartment on Riverside Drive, and were very happy. We had -no children. I do not like children; I cannot stand their crying. And -besides they are difficult and expensive to bring up properly—father’s -arraignment of me in my younger days showed me that—and it was obvious -that no girl of the grace and beauty of Ruth should be so handicapped. -That she disagreed with me did not alter my opinion, for I realized -that she was hardly more than a child and could not understand things -as I did.</p> - -<p>Our life during these first years of marriage was very satisfactory. I -worked all day at the office, and two or three nights a week played in -a game of cards which we held regularly at the club. I did not -introduce these men to Ruth—they were not her kind—she would not have -understood them. Indeed I should not have played in the game at all, -except that I found the mental relaxation stimulating and helpful to -me, for I was at this time working very hard. My luck, too, seemed to -have changed permanently for the better. Whereas in Philadelphia I had -frequently lost, I now won steadily—sums sufficiently large to justify -in themselves, the amount of time I gave to the pursuit.</p> - -<p>Once or twice a week Ruth and I would go to the theater—to musical -shows generally, for I liked them best—and occasionally we would play -cards with friends. This latter diversion interested me not at all. I -was having enough of card playing outside, and the people to whom Ruth -introduced me were particularly uninteresting. I had no time then for -their chatter about art or music, or the books or plays or operas they -seemed determined to discuss. The whole thing bored me immensely, and -probably, because I do not believe in hypocrisy, I did not hesitate to -let them see how I felt.</p> - -<p>We did not leave New York for the summer months, except twice we spent -a week or two at one of the big Atlantic City hotels. My business -would have permitted me to leave for longer periods, but I did not -feel that we should spend so much money.</p> - -<p>One summer Ruth thoughtlessly suggested that we get away into the -Maine woods and ramble, or to take a canoe trip somewhere. I explained -to her how foolish that was—how she particularly, a girl of breeding, -used to luxury, would not care for that in the way we could afford to -do it. Camping was all right, if it were done properly. We Durrants -once had a big camp in the Adirondacks—my grandfather had established -it. There, with the proper staff of servants and with guests of the -right kind one might rough it comfortably. But my father had given up -that camp, and such things were, as yet, quite beyond my means.</p> - -<p>I pointed out all this to Ruth, showing her plainly how illogical she -was. And so we stayed in town.</p> - -<p>These years, as I have said, were working out very satisfactorily to -Ruth and me. I was getting my business on its feet and the time when -we could enjoy some of the real luxuries of life did not now seem so -very far distant. That Ruth should be so impatient at the delay had -never occurred to me until one day, when we had been married about -three years, she spoke of it.</p> - -<p>“Are you going to keep on indefinitely this way, Will?” she asked -quietly.</p> - -<p>This was apropos of the fact that she wanted me to take her that -evening to the opera. I disliked opera intensely—it seems to me an -extremely morbid—not to say boring—form of amusement. And besides this -was one of the nights our card game was on. I could not explain that -to Ruth—she would not have realized how much more important to our -ultimate good my evening’s winnings would be than a mere evening at -the opera—which in itself was expensive.</p> - -<p>“I’m going to the club,” I answered.</p> - -<p>“Then I shall call up Gerald Rolf and ask him to take me,” she said.</p> - -<p>She still spoke quietly. That was one of Ruth’s peculiarities, I was -soon to discover; she concealed her feelings beneath a quiet, -dignified reserve. I would rather a woman came right out plainly with -what was in her mind. Then you can meet her with logic.</p> - -<p>“That’s agreeable to me,” I rejoined, and went to the club.</p> - -<p>I have not mentioned Gerald Rolf. He was a good-natured sort of boy—at -least I considered him so at that time—a year or so older than Ruth. -He was an artist, painted weird-looking landscapes, and to make his -living, did magazine illustrating. When Ruth first introduced him to -me I thought he was a nice enough boy, except that his interminable -piano-playing was a nuisance.</p> - -<p>I was soon undeceived about Gerald Rolf, soon made to realize how -uncertain is happiness and how even the most innocent circumstances -may become a menace to a married man so easy-going, so tolerant as I.</p> - -<p>Ruth seemed to like Rolf immensely, although why I could not imagine. -I had one or two long talks with him. He knew nothing about -business—indeed even the simplest things seemed quite beyond his -mental capacity.</p> - -<p>I tried to get him to discuss poker—he said he played it a little. But -the mathematical laws of chance that govern the game he did not grasp -at all.</p> - -<p>“I’m afraid you’ve got me out of my depth, Durrant,” he said, and -laughed.</p> - -<p>Then he wanted me to play a game of chess, which I cannot conceive any -rational-minded person being interested in.</p> - -<p>Gerald Rolf came to our home frequently after that, often on the -evenings I was out. I should have objected to this; but I did not. I -admit this fault freely. I saw their intimacy growing, but I was so -trustful, so confident of Ruth, I did nothing to prevent it.</p> - -<p>He was teaching her chess, he said. And she sang a little to his piano -accompaniment, weird sort of songs—nothing bright or lively of the -kind I liked. And they went to the opera together sometimes—“in the -gallery,” as he laughingly told me, for like all artists he had no -money. Then later, they took to horseback riding. But this was -expensive, and they rode infrequently.</p> - -<p>I saw all this going on, as I have said, and I did nothing to prevent -it. I suppose because Ruth, curiously enough, seemed to enjoy such -things, and her happiness was always uppermost in my mind. It was for -the attainment of that I was working so hard—to be able, some day, to -give her the things that really would make her happy.</p> - -<p>Then, when this had been going on nearly a year, came the climax; and -I learned, with a shock that was all the greater because of its -suddenness, how unjust fate may be to a man who unreservedly trusts -one he loves and who always tries to do the best he can in every way.</p> - -<p>The morning of the particular day I have to tell of, I remember, I -went to the office feeling miserably ill. I had taken a sudden chill -the night before, and rose with a slight fever and the start of the -grip or something of the kind.</p> - -<p>About four o’clock in the afternoon I felt so badly, I left the office -and went home. Ruth was out and I went into the library, planning to -sleep for an hour or two before dinner. I sat down in a large -easy-chair in a darkened corner of the room, partly sheltered from the -window-light by a screen which stood near by. I was feeling really -very miserable and soon fell into a troubled slumber.</p> - -<p>I was awakened by the sound of voices and realized that my wife and -Gerald Rolf were in the room. Evidently they had not seen me. They -were sitting over by the windows and Ruth was serving him tea; I could -just see them from my chair, around the corner of the screen.</p> - -<p>The first words that I heard, as soon as I was fully awake, -electrified me. And yet I remained silent, did not make my presence -known then. I do not know why, for I am not one who believes in -eaves-dropping.</p> - -<p>It was Rolf’s voice.</p> - -<p>“We must face it,” he said. “There is no avoiding it now.”</p> - -<p>Ruth did not answer at once. I saw her face was very pale, and her -hand trembled as she poured him a cup of tea.</p> - -<p>“You should not have told me you loved me, too,” he went on. “That -would have made it easier. You should have rebuked me—sent me away.”</p> - -<p>Another silence.</p> - -<p>“I’m going anyhow,” he added.</p> - -<p>“Gerald!” She put her hand on his arm.</p> - -<p>“There’s no other way, is there?” He met her eyes steadily. “I love -you too much to do anything else but go away. You can understand that, -can’t you? After to-day—after what we’ve confessed to each other.”</p> - -<p>I held myself back with an effort. My brain was whirling. That this -impudent boy should dare talk to Ruth—to my wife—like this!</p> - -<p>There was another silence. Then I saw Ruth slide her hand down his -forearm until her fingers touched his.</p> - -<p>“Have you thought it all over carefully Gerald? Are you sure, quite -sure, that for you to go away—alone—is the best thing—the right -thing?”</p> - -<p>She spoke quietly. Even now she seemed to maintain that reserve I -disliked in her so intensely.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” he said; his voice sounded very tired. “It’s the only thing to -do now—with honor.”</p> - -<p>Honor! He could prate of honor, when by their very words, their -thoughts, they were dragging <i>my</i> honor in the mire!</p> - -<p>“I’m not sure.” She spoke softly—so softly I could hardly hear the -words. “I’m not sure, Gerald. I’ve thought about this, too. I’ve seen -it coming—oh yes, I have—for a very long time. I’ve known what was in -your heart—and in mine.</p> - -<p>“For you to go away—never to see me again—that may be the best -thing—the right thing for you. It will hurt you, of -course—terribly—for a while. And then, inevitably you—you will find -some one else—some other woman who will make you happy.” Her voice -trembled a little but she still spoke evenly.</p> - -<p>“That is what the future holds for you, Gerald. Are you sure you are -not thinking only of yourself when you say we must never see each -other again? What about me?”</p> - -<p>“You! Why, Ruth—”</p> - -<p>“What does the future hold for me? You haven’t thought of that, have -you, Gerald? Not another love like ours—that is open to you—but not to -me.</p> - -<p>“You have known me now two years. You know Will—the sort of man he -is—” I took a new grip on myself at this mention of my name; I would -hear them out.</p> - -<p>“You know Will,” she repeated; a new note of passion came into her -voice. “You know how empty, how utterly devoid of everything that -makes a life worth living mine was until you came into it. All that is -in the past. But the future—have you thought what you are condemning -me to in the future? Have you thought of that, Gerald?”</p> - -<p>He avoided her eyes. “I love you,” he said. “There will be no other -love for me. I <i>have</i> thought it all over—I have faced it—and I -cannot—will not—take our happiness in dishonor.”</p> - -<p>She leaned over the tea-tray and put both her hands on his shoulders, -forcing him to look at her.</p> - -<p>“I love you, Gerald,” she said. “Look at me. I love you with all the -love I once thought I felt for him—the love he did not—could -not—understand. Do you realize what you have brought me with your -love? How you have filled that emptiness that was killing me? How you -have—have made my dreams—all those vague little ideals that fill every -girl’s heart—do you realize how you have made them all come true?</p> - -<p>“You have won my love, Gerald. Are you going to cast it away—and leave -me nothing—because you say that to take it would be dishonorable?”</p> - -<p>Dishonorable! They could talk thus of dishonor! They did not think of -<i>my</i> honor—the honor of William Durrant—that they were dragging about -in the slime of their words. I felt a sudden impulse to leap to my -feet and confront them; but I held myself firm.</p> - -<p>“We must think of him, too,” he said. “We cannot build our happiness -upon the wreck of his life. We cannot do that, Ruth—we would lose out -in the end.”</p> - -<p>She dropped her hands from his shoulders.</p> - -<p>“His life wrecked?” She laughed bitterly. “You do not understand him, -Gerald. Do you think losing me would wreck his life? It would not be -loss of me, but the loss of his wife that would hurt. His wife—his -honor—the honor of William Durrant—that would be attacked. You do not -understand him if you think that.”</p> - -<p>Again she put her hands on his shoulders.</p> - -<p>“I’m fighting, Gerald,” she went on softly. “Fighting for the only -thing worth while that life holds for me. Are you going to let me go -down beaten—a woman who has lost the only good things—real things—a -woman ever can hope for. The love of a real man. And—and children. To -have children—oh, Gerald, you don’t understand—you don’t understand!”</p> - -<p>Her voice broke suddenly and she ended with a sob. I saw his arms go -around her. I pushed my chair back violently and sprang to my feet.</p> - -<p>How it must have surprised them to be so abruptly confronted by me, -the one person in the world they had injured, I can imagine. They both -started guiltily at my sudden appearance. Gerald Rolf rose to his -feet; Ruth sat quiet with her eyes fixed upon my face.</p> - -<p>I strode across the room. I made up my mind then that there would be -no heroics—no melodrama. The Durrants did not have to descend to that -to protect their honor.</p> - -<p>“I have heard all you said,” I began sternly; I looked at each of them -in turn. “I could not help it—sitting there.”</p> - -<p>They met my eyes brazenly. There was a moment of silence; I wondered -which of them would dare address me. Then Gerald Rolf spoke.</p> - -<p>“What you have heard, Mr. Durrant, is all true—every word of it. -Perhaps it is better that you did hear—for now you can see things as -they really are.” He spoke quite quietly, evidently suppressing with -an effort his agitation and fear of the consequences of his folly.</p> - -<p>“Yes, I think now I understand you as you really are—you two. Since -that is so—what do you think you’re going to do about it?” I permitted -myself a veiled sneer with this question.</p> - -<p>“You heard me say what I was going to do,” Gerald Rolf answered.</p> - -<p>Ruth gave a low exclamation and I turned on her sternly.</p> - -<p>“Be quiet,” I said. “We will settle this.” I faced Gerald Rolf again.</p> - -<p>“Your decision is very wise,” I said sarcastically. “It is fortunate -that—”</p> - -<p>“I said I was going away,” he broke in. “Neither of you will ever -again see or hear of me.”</p> - -<p>Again I heard Ruth give a low exclamation.</p> - -<p>“I’m leaving her happiness with you.”</p> - -<p>I took a menacing step toward him as he said this. He faced me with an -assumption of bravery.</p> - -<p>“I’m leaving her to you,” he went on, “What has happened has -been—unfortunate—” His voice faltered, but he drew his lips tightly -together and continued.</p> - -<p>“Perhaps it has been for the best—perhaps the future may hold more -happiness for you both than the past gave you.”</p> - -<p>I could listen to no more of this.</p> - -<p>“Go,” I said sharply.</p> - -<p>He picked up his hat and coat which were lying near by. Then, avoiding -Ruth’s eyes, he turned again to me.</p> - -<p>“I will,” he said. He hesitated. Then:</p> - -<p>“For her sake I hope you will become a man,” he added.</p> - -<p>He met Ruth’s tearful eyes in good-by and before I could answer this -last insult, he had left the room.</p> - -<p>I sent Ruth to her bedroom immediately; she was sobbing hysterically, -in no fit mental condition for me to talk with then. Some hours -later—after I had dined alone, I went in to see her.</p> - -<p>I suffered greatly during those hours—how greatly no one but myself -will ever know. The whole thing came so unexpectedly; I had always -trusted Ruth so implicitly. The fact that a thing so unsavory, so -sordid, should come to me, of all people, almost unnerved me. A -marriage of one of the Durrants to be so besmirched! It was almost -unbelievable.</p> - -<p>Such things had happened to others. That I could understand. But when -I had selected Ruth for my wife, I had been confident of her worth—her -breeding, her very manner seemed to make such a catastrophe as this -impossible. Yet it had come and I had to face it—make the best of -it—hide it from the world as my mother would have done. Our marriage -must go on, of course, but it would never be for me that it had been.</p> - -<p>I found Ruth sitting on her bed staring blankly before her.</p> - -<p>“Well?” I said; I felt that in justice to myself I should be harsh in -this interview. “Well, what have you to say for yourself?”</p> - -<p>She stared at me with a light in her eyes that made me doubt her -sanity.</p> - -<p>“Nothing,” she said, in that irritating, soft voice of hers. “I don’t -know—I cannot think—what to do.”</p> - -<p>I leaned against the wall just inside the doorway. I was quite calm; I -even permitted myself to smile.</p> - -<p>“Won’t you go away now?” she added, almost in a whisper. “You must -leave me alone—I must think—decide—”</p> - -<p>She seemed to be still on the verge of hysteria and I concluded it -would be useless for me to go on talking then.</p> - -<p>“It is a great shock to me,” I said deliberately, “to find that of all -the women in the world I should have chosen one who was bad.”</p> - -<p>With that I turned and left her.</p> - -<p>I spent that evening at the club—trying to forget in the card-playing -the trouble that had come upon me so abruptly.</p> - -<p>The next morning when I went to see Ruth in her room, I found she had -gone, taking with her only a few personal effects! I called up Gerald -Rolf immediately after breakfast; they told me he had left the city.</p> - -<div style='height:1em;'></div> -<p>That was six months ago. She did not come back and she has asked me -now to divorce her. She says she has found happiness, and I suppose -she thinks she has. I shall divorce her, of course. I have always -tried to do the right thing. But the unavoidable publicity will hurt -me terribly.</p> - -<p>I have told you what occurred, plainly. I have nothing to add. I tried -my best. Yet, in spite of that—and the injustice of it sometimes makes -me very bitter—my marriage has been a failure.</p> - -<div class="tn"> - <p style='text-indent:0'>Transcriber’s Note: This story appeared in - the June 12, 1920 issue of <i>The Argosy</i> magazine.</p> -</div> -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MARRIAGE OF WILLIAM DURRANT ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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