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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/6730.txt b/6730.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d61e871 --- /dev/null +++ b/6730.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2515 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Observations of a Retired Veteran, by Henry C. Tinsley + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Observations of a Retired Veteran + +Author: Henry C. Tinsley + +Release Date: October, 2004 [EBook # +] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on January 20, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN *** + + + + +Produced by Phil McLaury, Juliet Sutherland, Charles Franks +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN + +By HENRY C. TINSLEY + +("P. Boyzy") + + + + +Introduction. + +The essays contained in this little book comprise a selection from +many of a like character which were contributed at intervals through +a series of years to the columns of the VINDICATOR, a weekly newspaper +of Staunton, Virginia, by its editor, the late Henry C. Tinsley, under +the pen-name of "P. Boyzy." The perusal of them in their present form +will serve to confirm the opinion of those who read them as they then +appeared, that they possess in marked degree the unusual quality of +a winning humor coupled with the pathos that is often humor's most +exquisite accompaniment; and that they combine a shrewd if homely wit +with a profound knowledge of the workings of the human heart. + +In the more strenuous life of political journalism, to which Mr. Tinsley +devoted his energies from the time when he laid down his arms at the +close of the War between the States to the beginning of his last +lingering illness, these "Observations" were for him but an inadequate +outlet for the expression of the courageous and hopeful philosophy +which was always his distinguishing characteristic. To cover his pain +with a jest,--to preach without cant the gospel of love,--to do the +best that he could do according to the lights before him--these generous +motives and high purposes are to be read between the lines by those +who knew him as legibly as if they shone out in words upon the printed +page. + +During his lifetime he was frequently asked to gather into book form +these little essays which had delighted so many of the readers of his +newspaper; but to all such requests he smilingly turned a deaf ear. +His innate modesty esteemed their value at far below their real worth. +They are given here just as they were written by him and printed in +the VINDICATOR, without change or correction other than of typography. +It goes without saying that if their author might have revised them +with a view to their publication in a permanent form, there would +probably have been many changes; but it is believed that as they came +warm from heart and brain, they will serve to reproduce him most vividly +for those who knew him best and to illustrate once more for them in +all its dignity and sweetness the simple courage of his life. + +It is for such friends that this book is published. + + ARMISTEAD C. GORDON. +Staunton, Virginia. +October, 1904. + + + + +BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH. + + +Henry C. Tinsley was born April 7, 1834, in Richmond, Virginia, and +lived on the corner of Franklin and Governor streets, in his father's +residence, which was opposite the old WHIG office. His father was a +native of Ireland and died at the early age of 28, the day after the +birth of his only daughter, Ella, who was educated at the Virginia +Female Institute in Staunton, while presided over by the Rev. Dr. +Phillips. She and his mother have since died, and it is not believed +that he has at this time any living relative. + +Mr. Tinsley's education was obtained at the old Richmond Academy of +that city, a classical school. In his 18th year he began his +journalistic career as a reporter for the Richmond DISPATCH, in which +profession of his choice he soon attracted attention. + +The war coming on, he enlisted in the Richmond Howitzers and served +during the whole war as a faithful and brave soldier. + +After the war he returned to the Richmond DISPATCH and soon became one +of the most valued men upon its working corps. + +Early in the '70's he became by purchase, half owner and editor of the +Staunton VINDICATOR, being associated with the late W. H. H. Lynn until +1876 when Mr. Lynn sold his interest to Capt T. C. Morton. The paper +was then for eight years conducted under the style of Tinsley & Morton. +After this Capt. Morton retired from the paper and his eldest son, A. +S. Morton, became in turn half owner, the firm continuing as before +until 1895 when it was dissolved, Mr. R. S. Turk purchasing the office +and good will of the VINDICATOR and consolidating it with the SPECTATOR, +since which time it has been known as the Staunton SPECTATOR and +VINDICATOR, Mr. Tinsley retiring from the paper of which he had been +chief editor for twenty-four years. + +Mr. Tinsley died in Staunton, after a long and painful illness, August +21, 1902. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN I + + +I saw the Sweet Harbinger of Spring last week. A violet? No. A swallow? +No. A bud? No. Ah! no; put up your encyclopedia of Spring information +and I'll tell you. It was the annual boy with his shoes off for the +first time since the warm weather. He stepped gingerly; he stood still +longer than usual; he hoisted the bottom of his foot for inspection +often; he let a cat go by, though a rock lay in a yard of him; he +picked out a velvety place on the tan-bark sidewalk before he put his +feet firmly down and squared himself on them to give the two-finger +whistle for his chum, which is the terror to the nervous. Much of the +boy had gone out of him. He moved with the motion and sloth of decrepit +age. Next week you will not know him for the same boy. His feet will +be hardened, he will dance over the macadam mixed streets with the +callosity of a stone-crusher, and the fugacious cat will be lucky if +it gets its tail through the fence in time. The mourner's bench humility +of today will have changed to the noisy glee of the hardened criminal. +His baseball practice will pervade the middle of every street, and his +large and assorted stock of general trouble and annoyance will be +displayed under all our noses with the request that we will call and +examine before purchasing elsewhere. I cannot understand how any man +can be indifferent to the blessings of the church, when he remembers +that one of them is the Sunday School--invented by the Fathers as an +ingenious and effective place of torment for this Boy. Through the +week he is intolerable, but the blessed Sabbath is to him a day of +retribution. It is the awful day when his ears are washed and touseled +about; when his eyes are punched out by the towelled but unsparing +hand of a Christian mother; when his shoes are put back on him for a +day, and when, with a neck encircled by a collar starched to maddening +stiffness, and with a pocket handkerchief the consistency of pasteboard, +he is sent to the place of punishment. I have read many beautiful poems +about the sweet quiet of the Sabbath, but few of the poets have given +the right solution of it. It is because all over the civilized world +on that day, millions of Boys have been captured and corraled in Sunday +schools. The very church bells understand it, and in the early hours +ring out triumphantly, "Got-'em-in-here! Got-'em-in-here!" + + * * * * * +Of course, as we move on through this alternately delightful and +disagreeable world, we must be brought face to face with bores of many +varieties. Setting aside that pest, the egotist, for whom there can +be no excuse, I should like to mention the man or woman who conceives +that the way to talk about books is to deal with the acts and characters +instead of what they say. It seems to me that it is just one of the +modes, if I may call it that, of talking literature that is little +better than no mode at all. It is a rare thing to meet with even the +most modern work--I am speaking of fiction--by a fairly successful +writer, that does not contain some utterance to arouse thought and +challenge us to mental debate. The acts must of necessity be commonplace +from familiarity, for man has behaved himself for a million of years +from the same motives and only varied his manner with the advancing +material circumstances which surrounded him. But his thoughts are not +obliged to be commonplace. The thoughts of men are marching in ever +moving procession towards the Light, and as each one emerges from the +darkness it catches on its forehead a ray which transforms it. It is +these that are to be discussed when we talk about books, and not the +mere acts of the actors therein. What, as a matter of conversation, +is the suicide of Dido, compared with the fine lines in which she so +touchingly summarizes what her life would have been had the false +AEneas never seen her? I lately heard two exceptionally intelligent +young people discussing the novel--Put Yourself in His Place--which +though a very second rate work was written with a very first rate +purpose. Their criticism and discussion was confined wholly to the +action of the characters and they seemed to have thought the purpose +of no account compared with the plot and love-making. And it is not +young people alone who are given to this skimming process. I have known +people who really deserved the title of readers, to find their chief +if not their only criticism in the decision of how well this or that +character was drawn, and what surprises the plot contained; while as +to the thoughts, good or bad, old or novel, the critics seemed to be +oblivious. If we expect really to improve ourselves by books--still +I am speaking of fiction--we should try to remember and afterwards +discuss the thoughts they contained and which we found in the mouths +of the characters or in the comments of the author. There has never +been in my recollection a time when the fiction of the day was more +completely abreast of the advancing thought of the world, or in which +it teemed with more new and practical views logically connected with +passing events and new situations. It is when, closing the book, we +take away with us those seeds and subject them to the attrition of +discussion, which wears off the pollen, that we arrive at, possibly, +a new and valuable thought which may deserve the name of knowledge. + + * * * * * + +"It seems to me your observations are nothing but opinions," said Mrs. +Boyzy to me the other evening. She called it o-pin-ions. Women have +an art of expressing contempt by syllabic emphasis that men never +acquire. It is their failure to accomplish this that induces men to +substitute profanity. Nevertheless, as that excellent woman remarked, +the things I say in these papers are for the most part opinions. But +what of that; what moves the world but opinions--what has moved it up +to where it is now, but opinions? Where would the world be if it were +not for new opinions; where would men be? Suppose every public man +clung to precedents in public affairs; every politician pinned his +faith on his party policy, and every preacher planted himself on +orthodoxy--all with a determination to go no further. The world would +come to a standstill. There would be no progress. Opinions are the +lever that works the world. Precedents become mouldy, politicians +change with the times, and creeds advance with the public thought. +What do we care what a man thought two hundred years ago, when we have +what a man thinks to-day? What is to us the policy of a political party +when the moss has commenced to grow over it. Who would attempt to +enforce in this day the medieval creeds and religious practices and +church government? What are we put here for, if it is not to learn, +every year, every day, every hour if we can. And of what use is all +this learning if we are not to advance by means of it? And how could +we move a step if we did not tell our neighbor what we think we have +learned--that is, tell him our opinions. I say to you, Madam (and I +say it the more freely that she is out of hearing), that opinions rule +the world, and while it may be possible that mine do not rule my own +household, it impairs their value no more than imprisonment and +persecution did those of other philosophers in the past. An opinion +is a valuable thing--in its information if it is true, in the mental +exercise it gives in combating it, if it is error, and in any event +as a feather that indicates which way the wind is blowing--in what +direction the blind mole of man's finite judgment is groping around +its prison in search of an outlet to the infinite. And that is true, +Madam, whether you call them opinions, or o-pin-ions! + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN II + + +You have been to the Conference? So have I, but it was twelve years +ago. Still I shall never forget a scene I witnessed there. It was in +the same Methodist church that this one is being held in. For days I +had been interested in a plain, homely-faced minister, considerably +past his half century, who came in evidently with great pain on +crutches. The town bell striking the hour was not more punctual than +the sound of his crutches. His hands were distorted by rheumatism, his +limbs twisted, and his face had a patient look as of one who had +suffered for a hundred years. His face was rough, but somewhere about +its expression there was a graciousness that attracted my attention. +One other expression in it struck me; it was the air of a man who had +finished his work. Not that he hadn't frequent consultations with the +ministers who approached him, or showed any lack of interest in what +was going on, but just a look as if he was doing anything for the last +time. Once he got up and made an official report of some kind to the +Bishop. As he closed it, his eyes burned with an intense anxiety and +he opened his lips as if to say something. But it was left unsaid, and +as he painfully resumed his seat the old look returned. As the close +of the Conference approached, I saw him several times with his head +bent over the back of the pew. It was on an evening very near the +close. The rays of the westering March sun shone through the windows +with a cold, cheerless light. His name was called. He raised his head. +His face was flushed. He struggled to his feet and with his crutches +hobbled around the aisle to the front of the pulpit, where he stood, +balancing himself on his crutches. And then the story came out. It was +told to those in the seats rather than to the Bishop. He had entered +the ministry young and had hoped to give his whole life to God. But +of late years disease had overtaken him. He had struggled against it +and tried to do his duty through great suffering, but lately he had +found that he could be of no further use and he asked--here he paused +and turned from the pews to the Bishop. It seemed that he was about +to say something that he had striven for years not to say. His eyes +filled and in a thick voice he said: "I ask to be put on the +superannuated list." And then he sat down on the nearest seat and wept +like a child. What it would have broken the heart of other men to have +staid in, it broke his heart to leave. I viewed him with intense +curiosity. Five or six of his brother ministers came up one by one, +and silently took hold of his twisted hands. I don't think they said +a word; I am sure he did not. He did not look at them, for his head +was buried on one of his cheap, home-made crutches, and from his pocket +he had taken a worn and faded handkerchief, with which he was checking +his tears. After he had gotten back to his pew, some ministers here +and there over the audience got up and testified to what the man had +been and what work he had done. Some of them had seen him, crippled +as he was and suffering the agony of rheumatism, driving miles through +the falling snow to fill an appointment to preach. Somehow it seemed +to me a eulogy of the dead--and it was. When I saw him the next morning +he had the air of a man who had met a great loss, instead of a man who +had just parted with a life of labor and physical anguish, but there +was still the last time look about him. And it was the last time. In +six months from that time he was dead. What shall we say when such a +life of self-sacrifice passes on to the stars? What can we say, except +to speculate on the boundless possibilities that eternity must contain +for such a life. What must such a little minute-hand life as sixty +years, develop into on the dial plate of eternity, when it is begun +as this man's was. Such a man as this, it seems to me, must at some +time or other have touched the very hem of the Master's garment. + + * * * * * + +I saw in your paper this week an expression which continues to run +through my head. It is an advertisement of a poultryman for poultry, +in which he says with rough frankness, "Old roosters not wanted." +Whether it is good policy in him, while attempting to secure tender +and succulent birds for the clerical stomach, to affront that venerable +class of fowls upon which we sinners are to live long after the clergy +have left, I will not say. I do not believe, however, that it will go +unresented or unpunished. I believe that many an old rooster will so +beplume himself and take on such an extra strut, that he will at last +succeed in forcing himself as a young bird between the teeth of our +clerical visitors. This will be a sweet revenge. But with this I have +nothing to do; what I have now to do with, is the fact that over every +department of life I see the same announcement. In society where the +sweet amenities of life are monopolized by the young, the aged beau +is met by the flaming inscription, "Old roosters not wanted." In +politics we hear the cry that the favorite candidate is a representative +of the "Young Democracy" or "Young Republicans," as the case may be, +and that, except at the ballot-box, "Old roosters are not wanted." If +a congregation loses its pastor and commences looking around for a +successor, the first thing it does is to print in large letters across +the pulpit, "Old roosters not wanted." Across the door of every new +enterprise is the same inscription. What, I desire to know, is to +become of us old roosters? Not fit for broiling, too tough for roasting, +too old for congressmen, for preachers--what are you going to do with +us? Ah, the very question shows where we stand. It used to be a few +years ago, what we were going to do with you, but the tables have been +turned and now it seems to me that the cemetery gate is the only place +not decorated with the legend, "Old roosters not wanted." There they +are more than welcome; indeed, if it were not for their patronage that +institution would do an amount of business very unsatisfactory to its +stockholders. Having then this refuge, brethren, let us take courage! +Let us take consolation in the thought that we have gotten over so +much of the rough road over which those following us have yet to travel, +and that having once passed that portal we shall have reached perfect +peace. Let us find a spiteful satisfaction in the fact that long after +we have entered the silent gates, the young roosters will still have +to rise early and crow hungrily for corn, still will have to skirmish +with other roosters for bread, and the highest pole in the roost, and +that as they show up in the race of life, they will have to read, in +their turn, the fatal sign-board along the track--"Old roosters not +wanted." + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN III + + +I have often heard people lament ill-health because, they say, sickness +loses to a man friends. On the contrary, I hold that it brings him +many new and unexpected ones. Let me see--December 15,--July; seven +months; that was long enough to make the experiment, wasn't it? Well, +let me look over some of the new friends I have made lying all this +time in bed. The first new friend that I made, and one who had evidently +seen better days, was a Tomato Can, that ever present denizen of the +back-yard. On his head he jauntily flew a cocked hat bearing a damaged +new picture of himself evidently taken in youth, and across his red +waistcoat, in blue letters, was the word "Trophy." There he stood, day +after day, leaning jauntily against the doubtful company of a whiskey +barrel hoop, telling me the time of day, as if that was his only +business in life. If the sun's light lay across his red stomach it was +9 o'clock, if it glistened on his cocked hat it was noon, and if it +soberly lighted up the cherry red tomato on his side, it was 6 o'clock. +"Sir," he seemed to say, "I have not been always as you see me. I have +seen the day when I roosted on the highest shelf in the family grocery, +and when I was dusted daily by well dressed clerks--if the employer +was around. I was for many years the tenant of a French plate glass +window and I have been carried by the soft hand of Beauty, sir, and +laid gently in the market-basket. I do not boast, but Beauty itself +has carried me through the streets in its arm. I have seen great larks, +sir. I have travelled that Main Street at the rate of a mile a minute +at the tail of valuable dogs, and at the midnight hour I have bounced +into the midst of cat caucuses with great sport. I have been the friend +of Man, sir, but what has Man done for me. He has left me here in this +miserable back-yard, company of barrel-hoops and brick-bats and bottles. +He has--" But here the next door neighbor's servant threw a bucket of +slop-water on my friend and cut off his complaint. His red vest peeled +down a little further, his cocked hat depressed further over his face, +and a potato skin stopped his mouth. How true it is that no person can +be in such disreputable circumstances that he has not the remembrance +of better days to soothe him, and like the Tomato Can, ever find true +comfort in the top-shelf on which he long ago may have roosted. + + * * * * * + +But as a new friend, the Street must always take the first place with +a sick man. How new everything in the Street becomes to the man who +views it from a sick bed! You would think he had never seen it before. +Nor has he. No man in health lies and sees the Street wake up in the +morning. Nor does the man in health, walking about the Street, see how +prettily it goes to sleep. The lengthening shadows make it drowsy for +a little while, but as evening comes it makes a great stir. It sends +hundreds of hustling people along its walks hurrying home. It lights +up hundreds of windows and shop fronts and looks as much as to say, +"I think I will make a night of it. I've sent all the children to bed +and now I'll have a time of it." But the steady old Street on which +I live gives up its dissipated idea early, turns off light after light, +and soon the lonely sidewalks are without a passenger. The Street does +one thing for the sick man you wouldn't expect; it arouses a spirit +of rebellion that is astonishing. Resignation is a beautiful virtue, +but it chiefly exists on side streets and out of town. The man who is +sick on a main street and professes to be resigned is a hypocrite. My +friend, the Street, presents to me Thompson. What do I say? "Ah, +Thompson, take the blessing of a sick man?" Not a bit of it. I say, +what right has Thompson to be walking along attending to business and +possibly taking surreptitious cooling drinks, while I am doomed to +staring out of the window and drinking beef tea? But Thompson don't +drink? Oh, well, what do I care if he don't! I threw that in about +drinks to make it as hard on him as possible. It makes a good point +on a man just to suggest it. There; there goes Robinson going to church +with a new suit on, and a wife hanging on his arm! What has he done +to deserve that sort of luck? Why, isn't he up here flat of his +back--and there they all go. Resigned? Ah, no, the sick are not +resigned. It is only the dead who are resigned. + + * * * * * + +A perfectly new friend is the Sky. How often does one in health look +at the Sky save to see about the weather? But once a year. But in +sickness it is an ever present friend. You watch for day breaks in it, +and for the fading stars, and find an exciting interest in which of +two stars will go out first, something like you were betting on a race. +And then the figures in the blue field all day long; for it is not at +evening and night alone that they appear. What have I not seen march +across my window in the procession--a castle, a fan, a swan, a kerosene +can, the king of spades, a cream jug, troops of angels, in short, +anything that an idle imagination wants to conjure up. And when it +dresses for the evening, in what glorious costumes does it appear. But +all that is garish compared with the Sky upon which the night has +settled down. That is the sort of Sky to bring calmness and content. +The quiet lighting up of the stars, with no step ladders and no hurried +match scratching of the police; the ease with which the moon climbs +up her route, no puffing, no machinery clanking; the deepening of the +blue to better show the celestial sparks that glow on it--and the +knowledge that all this will go on without failure and without your +having to turn over in bed to work some lever to help it move, makes +the coming of night a comfort to the sick. Who thinks of the stars in +health? No one. We think of supper, of the theatre, of the band concert, +of the church, of the lecture--but who thinks of the stars they are +walking under. It is given to the sick to remember them, and in return +they remember the sick. Whoever else fails us the Stars are there. +Steady, faithful, unchanging, always waiting. Shall I remember them +after this? Ah, I can't tell, I am like the rest and will soon forget +them in the busy street. But to-night while all is still, I look with +reverence and curiosity on our future homes, my newest friends, the +Stars. + + * * * * * + +Another new friend is the News Gatherer. I give you my word that one +sick man gets more news--political, gossip, scandal--than any twenty +well ones. You see he is always there and easy to find. Human nature +can't keep news long and it always hunts up the man that is easy to +find and unloads on him. There is a sense of security in talking to +a man flat of his back--he can't get out to repeat it. Many things +combine to make the News Gatherer the sick man's friend. He is helpless, +weak and can't talk back. That secures a good listener. He is sick and +wants to be entertained. That makes him an eager listener. And finally +being confined and unable to get out he is presumably an empty vessel +waiting to be filled. And with this inviting prospect the News Gatherer +moves his machine up to the side of the bed and monotonously pumps, +pumps, pumps. It is well for that kindly hearted man that the patient +is not only stretched out on his bed, but also unarmed. Ah! how many +men earn sudden death and yet in the mystery of Providence escape it! +I have often wondered at the persistency with which habit has fixed +on women the exclusive reputation of gossipers. For I say unto you, +brethren, that Woman, who with empty head and silly tongue toys with +her neighbor's character unto its destruction, is not more full of +gossip than her brother Man, who knows better and yet cannot stand the +temptation of a sick man and a safe chance to chatter about matters +with which he has no business. I am afraid like the idea of original +sin we all have just a little spice of it. + + * * * * * + +A relief to this friend, and a friend I never saw before, was my Moth. +I think he came into the world about February, having been deceived +by the hot room into the belief that Spring had come. Many days after, +when snow could be seen on the ground, I have seen him feebly climbing +up the window pane and looking out with the air of one whose whole +life had been a dreadful mistake. The first time I saw him was one +night sitting in the light and heat of the lamp, his grey wing shining +like silver and his brown little body giving a soft, velvety light, +his face grave with owl-like stupidity, and two big black eyes. After +the snow passed away he seemed to get settled, and at night would sit +on a match box staring for hours at the lamp, as one who should say, +"Well, I understand the medicine vials, and the blisters, and the +inkstand, and all that, but this great bright thing is quite beyond +me." He never once thought of flying into it to see how it was done, +and I thought of writing to the Bug Professor at the Smithsonian that +here was a species of moth that light did not attract. But what will +not bad company do? After the warm weather came and the windows were +open, what should come in but other moths, of little character I think, +who commenced pranks of humming and buzzing and butting the lamp. My +Moth watched it with deep interest for two nights, but on the second +night, I saw from his rubbing his nose with his paws that he was getting +excited. Sure enough on the third night he remarked, "Well, I guess +I'll try a little of that myself," and hopping back to the mucilage +bottle for a start he took a header at the lamp. Except that his silver +wings trembled, and his velvet legs drew up, he never moved again. I +had lost a good friend whose innocent ramblings I had watched for hours +and whose antics, when he tasted the ink or got a sniff of the ammonia, +had much amused me. I don't know that he died too early. He had learned +a bad habit, and for a man or a Bug who has learned a bad habit, I am +not certain that death can come too soon. He died thinking he knew +everything worth knowing, for I have no doubt that through the panes +of my window and across my narrow street he thought he had seen the +World. Just as we larger, but not wiser animals think that after gazing +through our little theological panes, we have seen clear through +Eternity, and into the mind of the Father. After all, my Moth was not +worse off than the rest of us. We have all our little streets which +we call the World, and our little pane of glass through which we think +we see all that is worth seeing, and we need but a soupcon of bad +example to make us blindly dash into the worst of follies. Let us never +forget that, more than for this Moth, there is for us an unseen Hand +that after these follies picks us up and starts us on our course again, +with a pitying touch, and that, more than this, when the last twilight +of evening shall gather around us, and the hands of those we love can +be no longer seen, there shall appear to us through the gray mist of +Death, that bright and gentle Hand, and with it the face of a Father +and a Friend. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN IV + + +I must tell you of the Major's Last Love. I had thought I would leave +it in my note book, but a letter, which I can only read through a mist +of tears, has changed my mind. + +Strolling out as the sun was setting, on the first evening of my stay +at a village hotel last summer, I saw two shadows cast across the +street; one so very long, and one so very short, as to look ridiculous. +They were the shadows of the Major and his Last Love. The Major, +hatless, was swinging musingly the torn straw hat of his love, while +the little three-year-old lady herself was struggling along with the +Major's hat piled with flowers and toys and teacups on her return from +having "a party" on the river edge. The little feet stumbled, the party +crockery flew, and the two shadows melted in one as the prattling owner +and the tall Major knelt together to gather them up. That was my first +sight of the Major and his love. + +I cannot say that any of us knew, or came to know, all about the Major; +always excepting that we loved him. He was tall, straight, and +frost-haired. His regular features were of that sort that might have +belonged to a man of forty-five or a man of sixty, and he was a +changeable sort of a person who one day would look one age and the +next another. Of his means, we knew absolutely nothing. It was said +that his wealth had been carried away by the civil war and that he was +living on a small but sufficient remainder, which was doubtless true. +Over his gray moustache there was a blue eye that sometimes looked as +it might belong to a boy of eighteen and sometimes had the weary look +of a man long acquainted with grief. His skin was as soft as a woman's +and often suffused with a faint blush which would have better become +a woman. He was the very spirit of gentleness to both men and women, +and it seemed hard to realize, looking at him, that, as we heard +afterwards, this man had been wounded and captured in a battle and set +apart to be executed in reprisal. We did not learn that from him, for +he never talked about himself, but from an old army comrade who met +him and was the only man that we boarders ever saw the Major familiar +with. Not that he was distant, but after a gentle smile of salutation +or recognition he never seemed anxious to converse, and like most men, +silence gave him an air of mystery. There were many solutions of the +mystery by the lady boarders, particularly by Mrs. Pointlace, a restless +little widow, who was never at peace unless she was in love with +somebody or somebody was in love with her. Her theory was that the +Major had suffered, at some period or other, a great shock to his +affections--a supposition that failed to find confirmation in the +regular appetite and the eccentric neatness of the person who had +received the shock. Whether the lady's theory was correct or not, none +of us had an opportunity to know, for we would as soon have expected +to see the Major come into the dining-room without his coat as to have +heard him speak of his personal affairs. The widow was a new boarder; +if she had been there as long as the rest of us she would have known +that whatever he might have suffered in the past, the Major's heart +was now full to the brim of affection for a female, and that female +not longer than his arm. + +She couldn't have been over three years old, and was the only girl +among four boys, running up like stair steps. I can see her now under +a broad summer hat that would have covered the top of a barrel. The +crown had given away and her little blue eyes would be oftener looking +out through the gap than from under the brim. Her stockings were never +both tied up at the same time, except when her mother turned her over, +fresh dressed, in the morning to the Major, or when she put on her +"tose" in the evening to walk with him. How the Major had gotten such +possession of her, I think even her father and mother hardly knew, but +certain it was that she had become his personal property. They went +the rounds of the town stores every day, and took long walks from which +the little lady always came back tired and asleep in the arms of the +"Mady," as she called him. I suppose sometimes the Major had carried +her for miles, and he would mount the steps of the hotel veranda in +those sultry days, mopping his face wet from fatigue. And then he would +unload his pockets of all the shells and rocks and sticks and strings +that the little one had gathered in the waking part of her walk, and +put them away for her carefully. One day the usual load had a marked +variety in the shape of a large watermelon and three kittens. In +managing all of which the little lady was assisting by bringing one +kitten tail foremost under each arm. Much time was spent by the little +tyrant in directing the Major as to where each article of that +remarkable load was to go. If she had become, the Major's property, +I think I may say that the Major had also become her property. I think +that on rainy days from his vest to his heels, the Major's clothing +was marked with little muddy foot prints; that his hat was used as a +carryall for all manner of toys and sweetmeats; that his watch was +demanded at all hours of the day to see if it was "bekfus time" yet, +and that his cane served as an Arab steed for races around the porch +without limit. The "Mady" and all he had were the undisturbed possession +of the little one. + +It was the close of the summer that, one morning, the little one did +not appear. She was sick of fever, they said. At breakfast, the Major +looked disturbed. But in a hotel we are not apt to think seriously of +the troubles of our neighbors, even if they are next door to us, and +few of us thought to ask about the baby. One night coming in late from +the theatre, I saw a large rocking chair at the end of the floor on +which the baby slept, and I was astonished on looking closer to see +the Major in it. His gentle face had a worn and weary look on it, and +the waiter told me next morning that the Major had walked the hall +pretty much all night for several nights, and that he had carried the +chair there for him to rest in. The baby, the waiter said, was not +likely to live. As I went up after breakfast, I stopped to inquire, +and the little one's mother, whose eyes were red with weeping, said +I could come in, adding, "It would hardly make any difference, now." +There sat the Major by the bed, with all manner of toys and dolls +spread out on the coverlet, before the sick child's eyes. Like a man's +idea of doing something, he had bought them. Poor fellow! it was all +he could think of to do. The little blue eyes were changed and the +thin little hands were restless. They would pick out a toy and lay it +aside, and then the dear old Major would arrange them freshly, so as +to attract her attention. I think she was delirious, for she asked +that her "tose" be given her, that she might talk with the "Mady." And +then the poor fellow would look up to the mother, and say: "I think +she can to-morrow, madam; I think she can to-morrow, don't you?" + +I think he hardly knew what he said it for, except with the vague idea +of giving somebody hope. Anyhow, his voice seemed to arouse the little +one, and she drew her little thin hand over his face, and said, in an +inquiring tone, "Mady?" I think the world was floating out of sight +and she wasn't certain. The Major turned, with a look of alarm, to the +mother at the window, and said, "Oh, do you think--" But whatever he +was going to ask was answered before he asked it, for the mother leaned +her head against the window pane and sobbed. He looked around the room +quickly, as one who would look for help from somewhere, he knew not +where, and then slipping out of his chair to his knees by the bedside, +took the child's hand and laid his head on the coverlet. It seemed to +stop the fast going spirit for a moment, and the other little thin +hand wandered to the gray head and nestled there, and once more the +weak voice said "Mady." As I softly closed the door, I could hear the +poor old Major, between his sobs, repeating over and over, "Oh, my +little one! my little one!" + +The next night several of us went to the Ladies' Parlor to set up with +baby. At the head of the little coffin sat the Major. He was in full +evening dress--none of us had seen him in evening dress before--and +in his lapel was a bouquet of white flowers, evidently arranged by +himself. He looked years older; indeed, about all there was left of +his old look was the patient gentleness that had won us all. In the +coffin, in the little hand, was another bouquet of white flowers, as +awkwardly arranged as the one the Major wore. We did not need to be +told where it came from. Always shy, he was even more so that night, +from the unaccustomed duty he seemed struggling to perform. As the +boarders dropped in, to look at the child, he seemed glad of the +opportunity to go up again and look into the coffin, but he never went +by himself. He had nothing to say, but if spoken to, replied with his +never-failing sweetness of manner. Often during that night he was out +for water, but those of us who saw his wet lashes, knew what took him +out. Towards morning a lady watcher found lying on the centre table +a broken doll which had belonged to the little one and which she had +named after the "Mady." The Major went out quickly and came back no +more. + +At the funeral next day it looked to us, though the parents of the +little one were there, as if the chief mourner was not, for the Major +was absent. Indeed, he was not at the hotel during the day, and it was +late in the evening before he came home. He still had the dress suit +on, but the bouquet was gone. It needed no one tell us on what little +mound of earth it had been left. I think I have said that the Major +was not easy to be intimate with, and to that fact I ascribe none of +us trying to console his grief by reference to his little love. He +resumed his every day suit--he wore his full dress suit for several +days, I think, as a sort of silent expression of mourning--and resumed +his old seat in the corner of the veranda, where he and the little one +had such gay larks and which was their headquarters when they came +from walk. He was the same gentle, sweet old man, except if anything +a shade gentler to all and especially to children. When I came away +he walked to the depot with me, and as we walked, told me he expected +always to live where--well, where he lived now. That was the nearest +he ever came to speaking of what filled his heart. I can see him now, +as the cars started, waving his hand and his blue eyes lighted up. + +And now to the letter. It is just a few days since I got it. In writing +to one of my hotel acquaintances I had sent my regards to the old +Major, and asked if he had kept his promise to live there always. The +answer shocked me. He had not kept his promise, the writer said, but +he had gone to live in a another and Better Country. His health of +late had not been strong, and a few weeks ago it had become clear that +he was fast going. His last walk was out to the resting place of his +little love. As he grew worse and weaker he asked that the rector be +sent for. When he came, the Major told him that he had long ago placed +his hopes on the Heavenly Father and tried to live as a child of His, +and--with his old time gentle hesitation--he added, "as a poor unworthy +child of His." But it was not for that he had sent for him, it was +this, and here the Major took from under his pillow a letter addressed +to baby's parents, which he asked the rector to deliver. It had been +written just after her death and was a simple request that he might +be buried by her side. One thing he questioned the rector anxiously +about: as to whether in the Better Country we would know each other. +The letter was delivered and the next day baby's father and mother +came to see her old friend. He was fast going, and lay with his eyes +closed. Somehow, it seemed to cross his mind that they would know, and +as they were leaving, he said, "You think I'll know the little one? +Oh, I hope I will know her." After he was buried, adds the writer, we +found some of her broken toys in his desk, and a list, written way +back in the fall, of Christmas gifts to buy for her. + +Has he seen her again? It cannot be that the loving Father has not +taken this simple hearted of His by the hand and led him to the little +one who went before. And that in this blessed Christmas time, in that +far off and better land, listening to the songs of angels and gazing +at the glories of a brighter world, there walk, once more, hand in +hand, the Major and his Last Love. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN V + + +The people are taking their vacation--an imposing three-syllable name +for a very tiny slice of holiday taken off an immense lump of work. +Of all the impositions that I know, this vacation business, in the way +we take it, is greatest. Somehow, by some inexplicable way, it has +grown into a custom with men who have business, to understand that a +vacation means two weeks, fourteen days, out of three hundred and +sixty-five, or one week out of every twenty-six. And then back again +to work. It is like taking a poor devil out of a box once a year, and +after giving him a breath of fresh air, putting him back and letting +the lid down on him again. It is often said that a thing is as free +as air, but to a busy man the air is anything but free. Whiskey, cigars, +newspapers, the church, the theatre are at hand and easy of access, +but the long, lazy, untrammelled breathing of fresh air out of town +is hard to get. I never see a cart-horse enjoying his dinner out of +a nose-bag that I don't think this is the way business men get their +fresh air. They sniff it from the streets on the run. They haven't +time to unharness and drop the cart and take a long and satisfactory +meal. I say I don't know who invented the two weeks system, but I +strongly suspect the doctors had a hand in it. I never hear their +flippant, devil-may-care (you must see by this time that I am in an +awful humor) way in which they assure you that a week or two out will +"set you up all right," that I don't feel that I am getting nearer and +nearer to the inventor. But what will I do with him if I get him? It +will be the old story, "You didn't improve at the pink sulphur springs; +why, what did you do?" Well, I lay down under the trees and had a good +rest. "That's it, my boy; didn't I tell you exercise was the thing; +why, that's what you went there for." And then he is astonished that +Smith didn't improve at the brown sulphur; "what could he have done?" +Well, he went fishing and hunted some. "Great Scott, man, how did you +expect to improve; why, you walked off every pound you gained. Why, +you went there for rest, not to walk yourself to death." And so they +go. As if fourteen days could hold enough of health in them to improve +anybody. Fourteen days is of no account to anybody unless, perhaps, +it might be a two-weeks respite to a man to be hung, and even that +would be a very temporary sort of satisfaction. + + * * * * * + +Now, that I am in a bad humor, let me touch on another grievance. I +declare to you that something ought to be done about tomato cans--a +law forbidding women to have or handle them. There now; don't fly off +and say I am attacking the gentler sex. I am not; I am attacking the +combination of the two. Take the gentler sex by themselves and they +are just lovely, but when they go in partnership with tomato cans they +are--well, I won't say anything rash. There is one thing, thank heaven; +I can keep my temper under all circumstances. Sitting in the cars the +other day, engaged wasting a whole day of my fourteen to go something +over a hundred miles, the new Floral Transfer Express came in sight. +It was a lady of middle age--I won't say how old, though I wouldn't +have forgiven her if she had been sixteen. Her arms were full of tomato +cans, containing slips of flowers, and it took the conductor and porter +both to hoist her up the car steps--for like all women, she would +rather be run over than let go her bundles. When she took her seat, +the cans were distributed on all the seats around her, two-thirds of +them exuding the water with which the flowers had been sprinkled while +she was waiting at the station. I got two or three of them as a +retribution, I presume, for my having kept her from falling over the +stove, and for my duplicity in saying that they would not be in the +way in the slightest. If I live I shall hereafter be a more truthful +man. I was kept busy just four hours balancing them so as to keep them +from being jarred from the seat by the motion of the car. But one ray +illuminated the scene, and that was, when returning from the water +cooler she sat down on a little nest of four of them. It looked like +a judgment and I believe it was. I don't mind the deadly traps women +set on window ledges, in the shape of tomato cans filled with flowers +to slip down on man's head, but I do insist that railroad authorities +should not allow them to bring canned flower gardens into the cars +with them, and in that I have the support of every free born American +citizen. + + * * * * * + +While I was away I learned a secret that is worth a good deal of money +to any young man intending marriage, and that would have been without +price to me if I had known it thirty years ago--before I knew the +estimable woman, who, in company, insists that I am her better-half, +and in private treats me as if I were hardly a sixteenth. I learned +it at sea. Just before we sailed out of a port one afternoon a couple +came down to the wharf, which consisted of a very large and fine-looking +young woman and very small young man, who carried himself with much +meekness. Why will little men marry big women? They looked like they +had not been long married. When they came on board she was the captain +and he ranked about cook. When they got off, forty-eight hours after, +he ranked as admiral and she ranked about a hand before the mast. When +they got on board, she called him William, and he called her "Maria +dear." When they got off she called him "Willie dear," and he called +her plain "Maria." When they came to supper she was the man of the +two--two hours after, she was laid out on the deck benches, vowing +every minute that she would die. From that moment he commenced advancing +in rank. He was not subject to seasickness, and walked the plunging +deck like a bantam rooster. In a firm voice he ordered her to her +state-room, where she remained till the evening of the next day. She +came out a changed woman. She evidently viewed "Willie dear" as a +superior being, whom the sea itself couldn't conquer, and whose +attentions to her in her sickness--which I am bound to add were kind +and unremitting--were such as such beings bestow in charity on mortals +made of humbler stuff. She came out of her stateroom the next evening +as limp as a rag, and clinging to the little bantam as if letting go +would be sure death. Seasickness had completely changed the manner and +carriage of the two people. I could not help wondering if the bantam +saw his advantage as I saw it, and whether, now that he had her down, +he would keep her down? It struck me, while looking at them, that every +man, sure of his sea legs, should early in his married life, take his +wife to sea. It may give him a lifetime of peaceful rest. + + * * * * * + +Still speaking of the sea; for I am too far from shore now to turn +back, we had one day of it in which was painfully illustrated the line, +"Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink." The steward, having +been changed from his own ship to ours without notice, had not laid +in his wines and liquors for the voyage. It was awful news when it was +announced after getting out to sea, and paled many a cheek. Much to +our surprise, however, all the next morning one of the passengers +appeared in a state of exhilaration not to be accounted for by anything +we had seen on the table. Later, he appeared still worse, and as he +did not appear at dinner, we concluded that he was drinking to excess +in his room. A passenger said indignantly that "the man was killing +himself," and volunteered to go in and see about him. About dark, that +day, the volunteer made his appearance on deck. After some uncertain +steps he managed to seat himself on a coil of rope. Looking at us with +a look of solemn philanthropy in his face, he announced thickly, that +"I got t'way from'm at last." It was very clear that he had. + + * * * * * + +Do you know that I never travel the sea that I am not pervaded by an +antagonistic and contradictory frame of mind that sets itself against +all the popular and religious ideas of it. The ocean impresses me with +neither the majesty nor the power of God. Indeed, it does not impress +me with God at all, but to the contrary, gives me a sort of undefined, +painful unbelief. To me, somehow, there is no other side of the ocean. +And looking out on its boundless space, covered with the blue vault +lighted by millions of worlds and floating over, to me, bottomless +waters, I feel so lost in space, such an infinitesimal atom, that the +doctrine of the sparrow that falls seems a chimera, and a God +inconceivable. I wonder if this is not so with others. I wonder if all +of us do not shrink from this immensity and take refuge in our own +hearts where alone we can hear the voice of God, and where, at any +hour or in any scene, we can find an instant answer to all our doubts. +There is but one spot on the ocean that leads me to a sort of a fanciful +realization of a future life. It is that red one made by the setting +sun, especially if we be off shore, and the birds are flying landward. +The roseate bridge thrown across the water, swinging with the waves, +the intense and silver bright-ness of the centre of the arc framed in +the evening clouds that roll around it, and the gleaming wings of the +birds, as they flash across the disc and disappear in the shining +centre on their way homeward, somehow bring to my mind the gates ajar +and the souls flying from earth to their final rest. There may be +beautiful pictures to come after this life; if there are, sunset at +sea is as near as our mortal minds can yet come to them. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN VI + + +Well, we have gotten you into a new year! Life and Fate and Time, all +have managed to get you here. With many of you they had a hard pull +to get you here. Some of you have been near to death; some of you so +miserable you hardly wanted to try another year here, and the majority +of you have shown the least interest about getting here. I don't +reproach you; you are only following the perverse example of Human +Nature. Did it ever strike you that the globe and the people who live +on its surface, are always marching different ways? While all the +restless tide of humanity moves to the West, the globe turns itself +to the East. On its surface, Man is much like the acrobat we see at +the theatres, who, mounted on his parti-colored ball, faces one way +while it moves the other. It must be a queer spectacle to those who, +from the planetary dress circle of the universe, are watching us through +their opera glasses. It must be still queerer to them when they hear +us chanting a Miserere at the approach of an invincible line across +the face of Time, as imaginary as the Equator, and when it is passed, +filling the air with a Jubilate--the songs of the dying and the coming +year. It is rather a comfort to us that we don't believe in the dress +circle of gazers; that we have the comfortable belief that we are the +only people in the Universe, and that beyond the questionable discovery +of a canal across one of the planets, the wisest of astronomers have +found no evidence of human life elsewhere. And so, with a Crusoe-like +sense of solitude, we live on our traditions, on our religions, and +on our ideas of Man to the exclusion of the rest of the Universe. + +With an impartial judgment, therefore, and not influenced by the +approval or disapproval of this vast dress circle, in whose existence +we have no faith, let us take up these imaginary lines for a moment. +It is unquestionable that, whether for good or evil, they have descended +to us by tradition and custom as a legacy. They are sufficiently real +to be of practical use, and they are used. It is by them that we set +a time--alas, that we should have the necessity of doing it--to discard +some vice, some sin, some weakness. We use them in the interest of +procrastination--that we may put off the parting day with something +our conscience, or our taste, or both, disapprove. By them we appoint +a time when we shall say to the divine spark within our breasts, you +may flame out into our daily life. By them we give a respite which +alas, often ends in a commutation of sentence and oftener still in a +full pardon and restoration to peace. + +So, you see, I do not think a great deal of old year remorse or New +Year resolutions. I think they are just that much better than none at +all, and this has to be qualified by the damage they do in having us +put off reformation. That a man should fix a day to reform in this or +that particular, is at least an evidence that he is aware of his need +of it--a great point gained. These years are but little stepping-stones +across the narrow brook of Time that pours into the vast ocean of +Eternity, and it is a good sign when a man approaches the next, and +the next, and the next with increasing reverence and sense of the +responsibility of his progress. It is a good sign when a man begins +to discover in the impediments of life, what is necessary and what is +absolutely hurtful to him in the journey of life, and when, with the +discovery, he summons up enough resolution to fix a day to throw away +the bad. It is hard for the best of us to get our load rightly picked +over. When we have failed to start right in youth, it is unspeakably +hard after getting out into the dust and glare of the world to assort +our burden over, and drop what ill elements we have gathered on the +road. That a man should fix a time to do this is itself a good thing +and just that far these imaginary lines are good. + +But something far better, far manlier, is to have the firmness to draw +our own lines at our own times. It is so peculiarly a personal matter +that we can well afford to let the World have its lines and we have +our own. If you agree with me, then your own line is drawn at To-day +and Every Day. If a man cannot enter on a new life every day, he can +unquestionably enter on at least a newer life every day. It must be +a barren and unfruitful mind to which something--good or evil--is not +added every day, to make it that much newer. You know this yourself. +You have seen healthy, pure-minded boys start out in life and you have +met them later with minds so darned with vice here, and patched with +sin there, that you hardly recognized them. That transformation was +not done in a day. You have seen boys that you knew at school without +a bad habit, and when you met them again they had added to their lives +drinking, gambling, everything this side of a police court. That was +not done in a day. We do nothing in a day--not even reform in a day. +All good and evil is a matter of ascent and descent-the latter only +the faster because the grade is easier. It is not an easy experiment +in the world to be a good man. No man ever fixed a day to become a +good one. It is an uphill road, a long road, and one who proposes to +walk it must fix no later hour than now lest night-fall find him far +from the end of it. + +But the young man who determines to walk it in this day, has a far +easier road than he would have had thirty years ago. It is the fashion +to say that the road grows no better. It is not true; the world's +opinion grows better every day. There were many things respectable +thirty years ago that are absolutely disreputable now. Then, a +middle-aged man might drink at a bar with a boy of twenty. If he did +it to-day he would be marked at once. Then, drinking and gambling were +looked upon as the wild oats a young man might sow, without losing +caste. To-day, the young man who drinks and gambles is looked upon as +of doubtful social position, by both men and women. To-day, in making +their lists of invitations, leaders in society cross out the names of +dissipated young men as promptly as they do those of fast young women. +Whereas thirty years ago there was rather a mantle of sentimental +charity fitted on the shoulders of a disreputable young fellow, to-day +he is roughly talked of as a "drunkard" or a "common fellow"; terms +that no one dreamed of applying to him then. There has been nothing +that public opinion, especially that section of it that may be called +social opinion, has changed in more than in the standard it fixes for, +and demands from, all men, and particularly young men. The result is +that when a man wants to be superior to vice now, he has the moral +weight of a sounder public opinion and finds the road easier than he +would have had thirty years ago. + +I have said nothing to you about any higher inducement to commence a +better life every day, than those you can find in the world. They are +quite sufficient, or ought to be. A healthy body, a clear mind, success +in the world--these are the rewards which a good life offers here. +There is just one other word about what it offers elsewhere. I am not +a preacher, you need not be afraid of a sermon. I am just one of +yourselves; only I have come over a longer road than you have, and +have seen more of its pitfalls as well as more of its sign-boards. Nor +do I pretend to know more than you of what it offers elsewhere. But +I just wish to say one word to recall what you already know; what you +must know. There is nothing that we all know better--nothing that is +more surely planted in the human mind than that this is only a part +of our life; that when we shall reach a future existence, we shall +there find a life awaiting us which will match with the piece we carry +from this one. It is a very grave thought--graver than any which we +shall consider on earth, if we are intelligent men--which the match +will be--whether it will be found in one of infinite misery or one of +infinite betterment. Here we have the power to say which it shall be. +It is a priceless power. Let us use it, not in fixing days for +reformation, not in lamenting over promises of reforms broken, and +fixing other days to come; but in living a newer life every day--As +we can make no bargain nor compromise about the time and place where +our life shall end, let us take the matter into our own hands and so +live that it will matter little when or where the end comes. So live +that when the summons come, + + "Thou go not, like the quarry slave at night + Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed + By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave + Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch + About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams." + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN VII + + +I sometimes come to the conclusion that it is in Winter that a +Philosopher has his several trials. That is, of course, a married +Philosopher. For of the other sort I take no account, seeing that with +their mode of life they have little need of Philosophy, unless, indeed, +it be esteemed so lowly a remedy as to be put at the beck and call of +men for evils they invite to themselves. Philosophy I hold to be a +Patent Medicine of the higher sort, which is to be taken only for those +afflictions brought us by others, and by which we are enabled to assuage +our own misery through inspecting from an elevated plane the folly, or +extravagance, or weakness of those who have afflicted us. It is a +mental jack-screw by which we wind ourselves up to a height from which +we can look down on lacks in others. To lose sight of our own pain +after shooting down a flight of steps, in grave pitying contemplation +of the stupidity of the chambermaid who left the bar of soap on the +first step--that is your true Philosophy. And the man who forgets to +rub his back, through pitying her ignorance, is the true philosopher. +It is a quality from the gods, and whether exhibited over the minor +calamity of soap, or the graver distress to which the married +Philosopher too often falls heir, shows its origin in a heavenly calm. +To him, I think I have said, this calm has its severe trial in the +winter; but now that I think of it again, if I were writing this in +the summer, I should say that season was the severest. Indeed, thinking +of it still further, I am puzzled to decide on any season that does +not bring to him the severest trials of his heavenly serenity. The +other night Mrs. Boyzy, as she slipped one of the little stockings off +the wooden ball, which has served our children for so many years and +so many purposes--from filling out a croquet set, to the braining of +their parents--her kindly, and to me still beautiful face, lighting +up with a smile, said: "We are having a real gay winter in Staunton, +dear." Alas, I knew it well, Between High Teas and Blue Teas, and +Ladies' Lunches and Bands of Twenties, I knew it well. I knew it from +the number of times that I have had to steal in like a thief in the +night, at my own side gate and make my way into a cold set-out in the +nursery, while a High Tea was progressing down stairs accompanied by +the hum of feminine voices. I knew it from the cold nights I have had +to carry our eldest daughter to her club, with the dreary reflection +that it was to be still colder later, when young Jones or young Tompkins +would have to bring her home; and when Mrs. Boyzy would wake me from +my slumber and in dressing gown and slippers I would shiver behind the +front door till young Jones and she, after much low murmuring, would +separate, and the light of the family would consent to come inside. +I knew it. I always know it, 'being a victim of dyspepsia--from the +bonbons and other gim-cracks which are served out at my family table +after these lunches and teas, and which are persistently served out +until, as my wife calls it, they are "finished." Had I not that very +evening had served to me a piece of fruit-cake made, I believe, when +our eldest girl was in short dresses! I knew it from the short party +calls which have rattled like bird-shot against the Boyzy mansion, to +the utter wreck of my quiet evenings with Mrs. Boyzy--a woman that I +had much rather talk to than all the callers in the world. And all +this that I knew so well, was put by that estimable woman under the +head of a "real gay winter." Before I could apply the elevating mental +jack-screw that raises me above all earthly troubles, I could not help +feeling that the inquiry was pretty much like asking a scrambling +lobster boiling in the pot, if he was not having a real gay evening? +I am afraid I mentioned--some such impression to my wife, for I was +soon astonished by finding that I was instrumental in the whole +business. "But, my dear," she replied, "we have to do it. Every one +does it." We! I was astonished to find that instead of being a victim +I had been an accessory, perhaps the chief criminal, in bringing it +about. A few questions from the ever-ready partner of my joys soon +convinced me that if I had not been a great criminal, it was only +through lack of time and opportunity. Did I have any idea of what was +due to the position of my family in society? What would become of our +children's "prospects"? What sort of life would my family lead--and +here the severe inflection of her voice convinced my crime-stricken +conscience that nothing but a miracle--and Mrs. Boyzy--could have saved +my family from utter social destruction if I had been allowed to have +my way. Happily, by this time, Philosophy had come to my aid, and +looking through its beautifying and mellowing mist, all was changed. +The teas and the lunches and the clubs appeared in the brightest tints; +the shivering waits behind the front door changed into evening strolls +into tropical gardens; the gray sprinkled hair of my wife changed into +the sunny auburn of her youth, and she once more stood in the little +church of our old home listening to the words, "For better or for +worse." Happy the married Philosopher who wears around his neck with +an even temper and an understanding mind, this talisman of happiness +devised by far-seeing men of other days--"For better or for worse." +Man cannot harm him nor Womankind disappoint him. + + * * * * * + +I have been sitting up by the bedside of a dying Adjective. It was not +through pity that I sat there, but through hate. For I detest an +Adjective. It is the father of lies, the author of affectation and the +progenitor of all exaggeration. They should be remitted to limbo with +all the other crudities of youth. I have listened to the point of +exasperation, through an evening, to the absurd use of adjectives by +young girls of education and with some claims to good taste. Somehow +it sometimes comes to me, that this use of adjectives is the besetting +sin of the female conversationalists of this day. Some young fellows +unsex themselves so far as to follow the bad example, but the majority +of that sex substitute oaths for adjectives, which is a social habit +on too low a plane for criticism here. But on all sides in the social +conversation of the young people of this day, it seems to be agreed +to give good, plain, strong English the go-by and to indulge in the +embroidery of adjectives. Tawdry adjectives such as 'beautiful', +'lovely,' 'horrid', 'awful', and the like worn tinsel. I suppose I +might venture the assertion without fear of contradiction, that this +is the stock in trade in most young girls in qualifying their +conversation. The use of that tinsel gives a wholly unreal tone to +what is being said and is so pregnant with affectation as to be +tiresome. Between slang and adjectives, it is hard to choose, both are +so detestable from a woman's lips. The difference is that the adjective +insidiously captures the refined mind, while slang only holds captive +the coarse mind. In a plain and intended to be truthful statement of +any occurrence, the injection of three or four adjectives will change +the whole tenor of narration, and give it a vraisemblance of untruth +which it is hard for the hearer's mind to erase. As a matter of fact, +an adjective ought to be a thought, not a word. A fact should be stated +without embroidery, and we should think whether it is beautiful, lovely, +and the like. There are many thoughts in the human mind that are not +translatable into words. They may have been in some other language +long gone, but they are not so in ours. As those words have gone into +oblivion, so should the majority of our English adjectives follow them. +I have forgotten to tell the patient I have been sitting up with. It +is the adjective 'tasty.' Years ago Mrs. Boyzy set her foot down on +this word, and as in duty bound, I also set my foot down. Whether our +two feet have stamped the unhappy adjective out, or from some other +cause that I know not of, its end has certainly come. As in all fierce +popular outbreaks against long existing oppression, the weakest and +most insignificant of the oppressors are often the first to fall, so +this unexaggerative, unaggressive, ill-sounding little adjective is +the first to die. Let us hope that an early day be appointed unto the +others to follow it. + + * * * * * + +Have you ever watched a man going down? It is an interesting study, +and a unique one, for the reason that no other animal has language by +which to express the various stages at which he arrives before dropping +out of the Procession of Life. Nor has any animal so many contrivances +with which to dodge and play at hide and seek with Death. The earthly +affection which abides in man, seems to overmaster all the other +emotions--faith, hope, everything,--and he who firmly believes in a +future existence is found as frantic in his efforts to delay its coming, +as the veriest agnostic. Then faith seems to be a theological treasure +of this earth, rather than a treasure of the future. The man with no +tie to bind his soul to this planet is as reluctant to leave it as he +who has the strongest ties of friendship, love and fatherhood. All +mankind seem to have that dread of it which their children have of +being put in a dark closet. But I am not going to investigate the +mysterious dread of death, or the even more mysterious attachment to +life. I am merely recalling to my memory men whom I have seen stagger +awhile and then fall out of the line of life. There is no more pathetic +sight to me, than a man when he first finds that he is failing. Like +a child, he cannot understand it. This strange feeling that he has +never had before; that pain that must come from this or that--they are +all so new to him. He cannot realize that he is failing, and least of +all can he realize the dread truth that it is time for him to fail. +To a man's own mind he is always at that mythical stage, his "prime," +as long as health lasts. It is piteous to hear his excuses for his +failing body--it was this imprudence, it was that cold, it was too +much or too little exercise--he cannot understand that it is the herald +of the Messenger, and that a little way off through the mist he might +see the Messenger himself holding the Lotus flower in his hand. It is +more piteous still to see him, like a captured animal, seeking some +way of escape through the bars. He must get a horse--it is only exercise +he wants; he must have a longer vacation--it is only rest he wants; +he must have more society--it is only recreation he needs; he must +have less society--it is only quiet he requires. His blindness is +inexplicable. He will walk in a garden and point out to you a tree +that cannot last longer than such a time; he will point to a worn-out +beast of burden that must die at such a time; he knows the death date +of everything that springs from earth except himself. In his blind +hope he grasps at the worst of straws. No new universal panacea comes +out that he does not seize on it, and that he is not sure, for a little +while is doing him good. At last he weakens in the struggle and is +taken to the rear. The procession of Life moves on; he never joins it +again. If all this had happened to only one man, the World would be +in tears. As it happens to all men, the World hardly gives it a thought. +But to him, that One Man is all the world, and it is hard to get his +thoughts away from himself. As the Procession of Life passes on, and +the hum of its marching columns grows fainter on his ears, let us hope +that there may come to him that unworldly quiet that Death pityingly +sends in advance, and amid which Hope steals noiselessly away from the +bedside to make room for Faith. And in which he may take the pale +flower from the hand of the Messenger, and following him through the +dawn of a new birth, see another Hand, holding out to him the purple +amaranth of Eternal Life. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF RETIRED VETERAN VIII + + +Rest! Ah, what a delicious word to the sick and wearied man. Rest in +mind and body! How unsatisfactory appear the gaudy pictures of the +dreamer of Patmos compared with the simple words of the Master, "I +will give you rest." I can hardly say why I selected Hampton for rest. +I knew nobody here, and had never been here. But somehow I had taken +up the impression that it was one of those old East Virginia towns +that had been blown ashore by the tempest of civil war and lay stranded +on the beach of the briny ocean of life. And that was the sort of place +that quiet was to be found in. My first night was a happy confirmation +of my choice. Standing on the wharf at which lay a little steamer, the +scene was beautiful. The new moon hung in the west and cast its +glittering line over the water for miles and miles away. Thick in the +little harbor lay the slender masts of vessels with steady lights +glowing in their rigging. Across the narrow bay stood the Normal School +with its three stories brightly lighted, and further away was the +gigantic Soldiers' Home with a thousand lights burning. To the east +was the long bridge across Hampton creek, with every few minutes a +lighted omnibus or a pair of carnage lamps going leisurely across. +Further yet was a railroad train lighted and flying across the trestle +bridge. At the opening of the little bay were fisher boats, coming in +with all sail spread, the loud laughter and chaffing of the men easily +heard at this distance. Turning inland, you see a broad street, with +shade trees on each side casting dark shadows. The lights twinkle its +whole length and at one point there is a bright spot--a pretty, white +hotel with a treble deck of verandahs. That is my home for many days +to come and there I am to be at rest. The call of the bugle sounds on +the night air; it is the "taps" at the Soldiers' Home; the salt water +is beating with lazy monotone against the shore; the fisherman have +tied up their boats; the last omnibus has crossed the bridge; the young +moon is getting to her bed and I turn my face toward the long street +and the bright hotel. A man of high-toned and poetic mind would here +insert something about his thoughts turning to his mountain home. Alas! +mine are turned with eager curiosity to what my breakfast tomorrow +would be, reflecting as I do that I am now in the land, or rather +water, of oysters, soft crabs and fish. After all, of what common clay +we are made! + + * * * * * + +The redeeming feature of ill-health, to me, has been that for the last +few months I have been thrown with many invalids and enjoyed their +confidence to the fullest, (and sometimes the most, to some extent). +There seems to be a sort of free-masonry among sick people by which +they at once become friendly and familiar. There is, also, if you only +knew it, an aristocracy of ill-health; that is, a man with two +complaints stands much higher with his fellow invalids than a man with +one; and a man who has been sick for five years stands immeasurably +higher than a mere cadet who has not been sick six months. Having only +a two years' standing, I was forced to bear the contempt which I +received from chronic cases, but I repaid it with interest on some +evidently shoddy invalids, who were trying to work their way into +society on an attack of only a few weeks duration. I remember one case, +however, in which our whole aristocratic circle was swept into +insignificance by a little lady, whom I saw after I left Hampton, and +who didn't weigh ninety pounds. She had been an invalid, she said, for +fifteen years, and while I do not recollect precisely her afflictions, +it appears to me that she had had chronic trichnia spiralis for that +length of time, with intermittent cerebro spinal meningitis tending +towards hydrophobia. This imposing patient cowed the whole invalid +circle. But one man showed the slightest resistance, and that was old +man Smith, who had been very proud of his chronic liver complaint. He +told me in confidence the next day that he believed "the whole story +was a ---- ----." It is due to the company, however, to say that the +narration was received with polite expressions of sympathy and wonder, +while there was at the same time a silent conviction that it was of +this complication of diseases that Ananias died. If a lady could rout +us, however, it was not permitted to a man. When another of these +aristocratic invalids, one of those "four giant shows under one canvas," +came along, varying in sex from the first mentioned, he was speedily +brought to grief. At supper, the first evening of his arrival, one of +our circle having asked him with incautious politeness "how he was?" +the new arrival opened on us with a sonorous discourse filled with +chronic afflictions mixed up with pious reflections. I think he would +have established his claims to high rank had not a consumptive-looking +boarder with a haggard face taken advantage of a pause in the speech, +and without looking up from his plate, remarked in a squeaky voice, +"The remainder of the service will be concluded at the grave." The +interruption was a bombshell. I have said that there is a free-masonry +among invalids; I might add that it almost amounts to the old +co-operation plan. I have been offered advice without limit and even +medicine from my fellow sufferers. I have also been furnished with a +list of their own attending physicians, all of whom have performed +remarkable cures. It is a full and complete list of fifty-eight +physicians in good professional standing, and I will dispose of it at +a moderate compensation to any apothecary or undertaker who desires +to purchase. + +Where was I? Oh, speaking of invalids! Sickness is to be dreaded with +many because of death, but from the high moral plane from which I +regard it, it is chiefly objectionable on account of the lying it gives +rise to. Directly a man gets well on the way down hill, the good natured +world gets this lie photographed, and each man presents him a +copy--"Why, I never saw you looking better in my life!" For the first +few copies that are presented him the poor devil is grateful; of the +next few he is suspicious, and thereafter he is worried, vexed and +profane. If you remonstrate against the truth of the assurance and +call attention to the prominent skeleton which you are presenting to +the public eye, the good natured liar looks you unflinchingly in the +eye while he presents you with another lithograph bearing this +inscription: "Oh, I didn't mean that you were fatter, I meant that +your skin is clearer and your eyes are brighter." Not having a sample +of your former skin, nor another pair of eyes handy to confute him +with, this well-meaning liar walks off triumphantly. I, myself, however, +am no better than the rest of them, though my presenting the lithograph +cost me dearly one day. In one of the towns where I stopped, a young +girl came to the hotel the shadow of what she had been. I suppose one +evening I must have felt unusually chipper and kindly myself, for, +coming up on the porch where she was sitting, I dashed off the old +lithograph, "Why you are looking so much better." Her eyes--I never +saw eyes that had so much of the other world and so little of this in +them--turned on me with a half kind, half reproachful look, and at +once filled with tears. She merely said gently, "Thank you," and got +up and walked away. God forgive me, that I should have interrupted a +soul so near to setting sail, to pay a lithographed and lying +compliment. Three weeks later, in another town, I was told that she +had gone on the last long voyage. I have burned my lithographs. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN IX + + +At Afton in the Blue Ridge Mountains. There now, sit still, I am not +going to commence about "lifting their eternal heads;" indeed I am +not. Did it ever strike you, though, how different a man talks when +he gets a pen in his hand; how impossible it is for a man to keep his +feet on the ground and use a reasonably plain English without absurd +adjectives, when he is writing descriptions of scenery. It is a +miserable piece of affectation, you know; and they know you know, but +they do it all the same. It comes, I presume, from a desire to assert +the possession of imagination. The vulgar name for it is "flowery" and +I am not certain that it is not a good name, for the chief business +of flowers is to please the senses. You will find it popular with three +classes of orators--commencement orators, political orators, and pulpit +orators. The first use it because they know no better; the second, +from the belief that it will catch those who know no better; and third +because they find that a bright coat of paint to a religious sign post +is particularly attractive to the female members of the congregation. +With the first class, it is ignorance; with the second, business, and +with the third, a mild, but well defined form of insincerity. You will +find, too, that, with few exceptions, flowery ministers are--little +else. I do not mean a forcibly drawn picture; that is a wholly different +thing; I mean gaudy, flowery word painting. I remember at Trinity +church in Staunton once, a description by a minister named Tucker, of +a sacrifice made by the Jews at Jerusalem. Do you know, though that +was years ago, I can see to-day the scene the man drew standing out +in memory. It was powerful, but there was not a particle of prismatic +coloring about it. It was a bas-relief cut on granite--full of power, +enduring, and with a touch of eternity about it. Such picture-drawing +is not flowery and does not wither. + +I know that the popular subjects of interest in the mountains are +sunrise and sunset, but for something really worth writing about, and +much more rare, give me a fog spread out at the feet like a white +carpet. Ah! that is something worth seeing. The valley, a mile below, +is hidden in the gauzy sea, and the tops of mountain spurs here and +there peep out like little islands. The white, silent sea is spread +for miles and miles. Underneath it is life, an invisible wagon rumbles, +a horse neighs, a man calls to his neighbor, but the surface is calm, +still, level. You would not be surprised to see a steamer come puffing +from behind one of the islands. The wind presses the sea into billows +which shift to and fro as water would. Away down on a wagon road you +hear the tinkling of bells and a Hock of sheep emerge from a rift in +the mist and turning disappear in another cloud of it. The fog parts +again and a white top wagon, with four horses, is seen toiling slowly +along. The driver cracks his whip and the sea of mist slowly rolls +over him again. Another shifting, and a little farmhouse appears, with +a man riding from under the trees. He rides into the mist and the +farmhouse disappears. A railroad train rushes out of a bank of white +wool and into another, in complete silence. The white sea gets uneasy +under the wind, and the sun begins to brighten up the clouds above. +Then the woolen surface begins to move. A mountain spur makes its +appearance clear against the sky; the farm houses silently glide from +under the sea; a flock of sheep, whose shepherd dog's bark you have +heard from under the mist, is revealed. The sea is fast being blown +away. The sun comes out. The whole landscape is changed and the great +billows of mist that have covered it are now thin strips of white cloud +driven across the blue sky. Once more you see spread out at your feet +the valley, checkered with farms and orchards, and dotted with +farmhouses shining in the sun. The miracle of nature is over. Let the +enthusiasts have their sunrise and sunset; lovers their moonlight; but +as for me, give me a mountain fog. + + * * * * * + +I suppose you don't know Maria? You ought to. She was a great comfort +to me while I was at Hampton. Did I love her? Ah, most truly! I have +sat on the hotel porch and watched Maria in her front yard by the hour. +I suppose if I were to meet her to-day she would hardly recollect my +name, so inconsistent is her sex, but I left my heart with her. It is +true that she was not conventional, that her skirts hardly came to her +knees; that she could not write, and that her general air was not that +of a society woman, but to a sick man she was an inexpressible comfort. +I have written her name Maria, but she was also called Mar-i-a, +Mari-a-a-a, Mari-uh, and oh-h-h, M-a-r-i-a. These names she was called +from the rising of the sun to the going down thereof. I don't think +I have ever known a more versatile genius than Maria. At times she was +a steamboat, with loud blowing of the whistle; at other times she was +a bear and devoured other children with grunts and growls of great +ferocity; at other times, she was a horse of such high mettle and +spirit as could only find vent in chewing up the front gate and pawing +her mother's geraniums into the earth. But it was in her great and +realistic combat with dogs that I admired Maria most. Every day about +noon two setter dogs would come lounging about the yard with the most +innocent air in the world. It was Maria's lunch time and the little +thing would toddle in and bring out her lunch. No sooner would she +appear than the dogs would rush on her and roll her in the dirt. There +was a brief scuffle, an agonizing scream, the dirt flew, the dogs +rushed off, and Maria sat up in tears, dirt and hunger. The lunch was +gone. By the time quiet was restored, the dogs would come to see if +they had left any in their hurry, and the forgiving little one would +start in to play with them as if nothing had happened. I was there two +months, and if Maria got a whole lunch in that time, I didn't see it. +Sometimes the dogs had forgotten to look at their watches and would +be a couple of minutes behind time, but all the same they rushed on +her and took what there was. Often the screams would bring her mother +out, and Maria would go into a little explanation which, as she couldn't +talk, didn't make things very clear, consisting chiefly of "a-h-s" and +"o-h-s." Little as she was, she had a spice of shrewdness which +unfortunately didn't work well. She would commence her scream directly +she brought her lunch out, but as soon as she found it only served to +make the dogs more promptly on time, she gave it up. I have had a good +deal of amusement, one way or another, but Maria stands at the head +of the list in my memory. + + * * * * * + +I made the acquaintance of a married couple at Afton. I do not often +hold up the private life of my acquaintances to illustrate moral reason, +but I must make this an exception. I believe the gentleman was brought +to Afton for the protection of sheep, and to test the statement that +a goat with a flock of sheep would keep off the dogs. When I saw him +he was a moral wreck. He had become a professional lounger around the +depot where he chewed up old paper, straw, and such odd crumbs of lunch +as the passengers would throw out of the car windows. His hair was +full of burrs and he had gotten one of his legs broken by the cars. +His occupation was to wrestle with all the trifling fellows, white and +black, around the depot, butt them when he could, and be ridden by +them when he couldn't. He had long since lost his situation at the +sheep fold, having proved rather an attraction to dogs, who are fond +of low company, than a protection to sheep. Untidy, thriftless, a +loafer, kicked and cuffed about by the public and half starved, he +presented a pitiable contrast to his wife, neat little lady, who, after +her husband had lost his situation, left him and joined a respectable +circle of cows and spent her time with them, fat, sleek, eminently +respectable, and as regular as clockwork in taking them out to pasture +and bringing them home. The moral point that I wish to make is this--if +you give a woman half a chance she will be a lady; if you give a man +half a chance he will go to the dogs. It is in the sex of the animal. + + * * * * * + +I often hear it said of a man that he has "the manners of the old +school," by which is meant courteous, deferential manners. I don't +know that any particular "school," old or new, will give a man good +manners, but it is certainly true that age does ripen and mellow those +of both men and women. As we grow older we become aware that there are +a great many other people besides ourselves in the world, and that if +we want to go through it smoothly we must keep to the right and not +insist on keeping our elbows akimbo in a crowd. A rude young man may +reform, but a rude old man may be regarded as having been illy bred +early in life, and hopeless. Good manners are very like the catechism +lessons our mothers teach us when children. They don't count for a +great deal at the time, but the result comes up in life a long, long +time afterwards. I think I can tell you of the "old school" where +really good manners originated. The Teacher has long since gone, and +sometimes I have fear the old school itself has changed, but He left +the rule with us when He departed, and here it is: "Thou shalt love +thy neighbor as thyself." After the Teacher left, many new doctrines +were brought about, and much chop-logic was put into the text-books +by those who succeeded Him, but with all their human invention they +have never approached the perfection of the motto that He left behind +for the corner-stone of good manners. It is that, I think, that makes +old men have better manners; they have learned that there is a good +deal more in the people of the world to appeal to their affection and +kindly toleration than they thought for at the beginning of their +lives; that there is a great deal of good in every man and woman, and +that it won't do to pick out their faults to the exclusion of their +virtues; that a touch of kindly courtesy will often reveal to you a +wholly different man from the surly one who stood before you a minute +before; in short, our old man has learned more and more the lesson to +love his neighbor as himself. That is the true "old school" founded +eighteen hundred years ago. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN X + + +The procession of two regiments of veterans through our streets a few +days ago must have set a good many of us retired veterans who were not +in the line, to thinking. It did me. It set me to thinking, not of +war, not of peace, not of reunions, but of how time has changed us all +in twenty years. In a neighboring city where I volunteered, the old +company, with the old name and the old uniform, is still kept up by +our young successors. I saw it lately on parade, and as I saw the trim +looking young fellows of from nineteen to twenty-five, clad in the +same bright uniform of twenty years ago, and stepping out with all the +brisk and cheery step of youth, it looked as if there had been a +resurrection of the old days. Could we old gray heads ever have looked +like these! Could that gay young spark mounted on the leading caisson +horse and furtively chaffing No. 13 be Hilleary and Hutchins come to +life again? Could that serious, slender boy, all attention to the word +of command, be the grave and clerical Hale Houston of this day gone +back to youth again. Can that sturdy No. 4 at the gun, be old Boss +Lumpkin? Could we all have looked as fresh and full of youth, and as +full of engaging humor and good temper as these young fellows? I suppose +we did, though it is hard to be believed, even by ourselves. I can +tell you of a reunion that, if promised, would bring more of the old +boys together than all the patriotism than can ever fill the American +heart. Just promise them that for that day they shall be young again! +Bless my heart, what a crowd you could have! Young again, mark you, +both in mind and body. I don't know one of the old fellows who, if he +had the option, wouldn't take back the youth he had twenty-three years +ago with the war, famine and hardships that followed. What a deal of +difference it does make to a man whether the world is behind or in +front of him. + +Do you know--of course this is confidential--that I am glad the schools +have gone for the summer. Education has been a thorn in our family for +some time past, indeed since the younger member got into the higher +branches. Until lately it has been the impression of Mrs. Boyzy and +myself that we spoke the English language with facility and much +correctness, and as for facility I will put Mrs. B. against any picked +nine that may be brought. But recently we have been greatly humiliated +by our eldest girl, who comes back daily from school with a new +pronunciation. Incredulity on our part is met by lugging the dictionary +into the conflict and we are defeated at once. So victorious has the +little one become that we tremble when we hear, "Mamma, how do you +pronounce so and so," and prepare for another humiliation. My wife's +plaintive, "It was pronounced so when I was a girl," is very touching +to me, but when did the young ever have mercy on the old? The last +conflict had--I hope it will be the last--was over the word "Squalor." +The young one, after setting the usual trap of demanding how we +pronounced it, announced that it was spoken "squaylor." At this my +wife, astonished into resistance, made her last flight, and said with +much dignity, that that pronunciation was silly and there must be a +mistake. In a moment more she was prostrated by the well directed +dictionary. In the evening after the children had gone upstairs, Mrs. +B. locked up her sewing and remarked that a good deal of what is taught +children in these days is nonsense. I did not reply. Had I, I should +have been forced to remind her that she and I put our parents through +the same mill in which the educational gods are now grinding us so +sharply. I take it that pronunciation, I mean that of ordinary +refinement and education, varies pretty much as bonnets do in style +and, like them, is a matter that taste has a good deal to do with; and +locality as well. Forty years ago in the jungles of East Virginia I +spoke glahss, fahst, ahnser; I never heard of papa and mamma, but of +father and mother, and I find they are teaching the children of this +day to say that, too. I was taught to say g-yarden, c-yar, s-yuit, +and, I suppose, that will also be resurrected after a while. +Pronunciation, I take it, is a matter of provincial taste. Reading +Chaucer, I have often wondered what standard of that sparsely educated +day fixed the standard by which he could be read aloud. And by the bye +who, of this more cultivated day, is authority for fixing the standard? +Not the Dictionaries, for they differ. I dare say that after all we +must fall back on taste. In the national metropolis of America, I have +noticed a half-dozen different pronunciations among educated people, +so distinct as to be readily noticed. But the best opportunity to be +had is in an army gathered from all quarters of the country, or even +from all quarters of a section, as the Confederate army was. I noticed +a dozen different pronunciations, the two from North Carolina and +Georgia being the most distinctly marked. I have heard it said hastily, +that all educated people pronounce alike, but I think, with more +deliberation and more opportunity for judging, it would be safer to +say that all uneducated people pronounce alike. + + * * * * * + +I am not one of the old men who take delight in "lecturing" the young. +I hate the very word, for I shall never travel far enough from my youth +to forget how I disliked both the lecture and the lecturer. But +sometimes I have an indescribable yearning to go and say a word to +them. I feel pretty much like one who, having found a circus to be of +no account and leaving the performance, finds another man at the +ticket-wagon eagerly putting down his money for a ticket. It looks +like a pity and I want to tell him so. I saw a lot of nice-looking +young fellows the other day--I was told they were boys from one of the +Universities,--standing on a corner badly flushed with liquor and +swearing at a high rate. They were evidently out for "a time." I should +have liked to say something like this: "Now, boys, just let this thing +drop there. Really, there is nothing in it. No young man with a sound +body can need liquor, and no one with a sound reason can need the +excitement of cards. We old fellows have been all along there, and +there is nothing in it. I am the chief secretary of the Ancient Order +of Old Boys, and my opportunities of acquiring knowledge have been +exceptional. I don't wish to hold up any raw head and bloody bones of +premature death and disgrace, and all that sort of thing, but I would +like to say this much to you: If you want to take a drink, take it and +go about your business, but don't associate together for the purpose +of drinking, whether for a night or for an hour. You will read, before +the long life that is before you ends, a hundred ways of accounting +for drunkards--heredity, inclination, regular drinking, grief, +disappointed love, and all that sort of thing, but all put together +they do not begin to approximate the cause I tell you of,--"associating +together." It is the associating together of boys, the late nights, +the early morning drinks, taken more frequently later on, and lastly +the appetite. It is the associating together for the purpose of drinking +that causes that selvage of bad company to adhere to the good company +you started out with earlier in the evening, and it is the selvage of +low company that will give every self-respecting man a good deal of +disagreeable reflection when he comes to look back at it. Don't buy +that sort of a ticket, my boy; the show won't pay you." + +Speaking of veterans reminds me of something I would like to say right +here. Do you know there is nothing more awkward to a man--that is +nothing more awkward to me, and like all egotists I judge all by +myself--than meeting a familiar friend whom I have not seen for twenty +years. We expect each other to be the old heart-to-heart friends of +long ago, but how to go about re-establishing the relation is the +puzzle. We have all had new friends, new histories, new lives since +twenty years ago, and while we make an unsatisfactory attempt to be +the same "old boys" to each other, each feels the dismal failure. +Memory is faithful, but while we remember with affection that we were +Tom and Dick to each other then (twenty years ago) we cannot, out of +that slender material, build up a hearty fraternal conversation of +to-day. And with advancing years we find that the old subjects that +we spent hours of mirth over, a life-time ago, are not amusing to-day, +if indeed our defective memories can recall them. Ah! how little it +took to furnish youth with mirth, that common standing ground upon +which all so easily form acquaintance and friendship. I trust I may +be forgiven, seeing that I meant well, but I declare to you that I +have practiced outrageous deceit in affecting to remember incidents +that some of these old boys recall, and in trying to be agreeable by +so doing. But doubtless you have also. Perhaps we all have. After all +I take it that separation, like time, tries everything--love, +friendship, even acquaintance, and those of the three which survive +the test are like the ruins of ancient cities, of great value as +curiosities, but worth little for aught else. Mrs. Boyzy remarks that +this is a heartless view of it. But I silence that estimable woman by +the observation that philosophers do not take the heart into account; +the heart is the field of young lovers, physicians' fees and patent +medicines. This observation which she does not understand, and, I may +admit to you I am not so clear about myself, convinces her that I am +not only a philosopher, but a profound one. Ah! to a man of profound +observation, how many better ways of securing the respect of the female +sex there are than the primitive one of clubbing them. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN XI + + +I do not reverence ministers of the gospel simply because they hold +that office, any more than I esteem a man as a gentleman simply because +he has the manners and dress of one. The bare fact that at some period +in his life, oftenest the period of youth, when the mind teems with +odd fancies and ambitions, a man has concluded that he is called to +the ministry, has successfully gotten through theology and been +ordained, forms too uncertain a foundation on which to base reverence, +which is one of the most solemn emotions of the mind. But I do respect +and reverence the credentials of an earnest, God-fearing and +self-sacrificing life which are found with these men, and I am obliged +in excusing this weakness, to say that in a long and varied experience +with them, these traits have been characteristic of those I have met. +But it is not my lack of reverence that I intended to write about, it +is the contradictory way in which those who are under their charge +view this matter. The practical, effective and active irreverence of +professing Christians astonishes as much as it puzzles me. They believe, +or assume to believe, in the sacredness of the ministry and in the +reverence due ministers as such; how do they show it? It seems to me +that the architectural custom of elevating the pulpit above the heads +of the people arose out of the congregational custom of shooting at +the preacher. You may tell me what you please about the world's people, +but it is the well-directed volley from the communicants' pews, +generally fired from ambush, that does the business for the preacher's +influence. Did you ever think of the marked absurdity in the contrast? +The subject of calling a preacher is prefaced by prayer; the Almighty +is invoked to send a man of His choice; the man is installed with +impressive ceremony and much prayer; he is introduced by other ministers +at the installation with allusions to him as the under shepherd to +whom is to be rendered obedience and reverence. The new man then goes +heartily to work for God, and the congregation goes heartily to work +on him. They criticise his style, peck at every imperfection, +intellectual and social, and soon put him in a state of siege. If the +Almighty, who it was at first claimed sent him, delivers him, he is +in luck; but the usual end is that the congregation itself effects his +deliverance by giving him the same warm experience that the terrapin +undergoes when it is desired to see him walk. After a persistent +ham-stringing of the ministerial horse, the congregation are astonished +that he cannot pull his load. I am a business man, and in many years +have had many men in my employment, but nothing would have more +astonished me at any time in my business life than to be told that I +was systematically impairing and obstructing the usefulness of the men +that I was paying to work for me and from whose labor I expected some +profit. It is the most inexplicable inconsistency to me in +congregations, which generally include a large percentage of business +men. I have used the word systematically, because it seems to me that +it is a system which pervades to a greater or less extent all +congregations of all denominations, and is confined exclusively to no +one. Nor is it the worst element in a congregation that is guilty of +it; I am sorry to say that it is prevalent among even the best members. +Even that excellent woman, Mrs. Boyzy, whose mind is often tortured +by the apprehension that absence from church service will seriously +affect my future prospers, often regales me after church with keen +criticism of the sermon and the weak points of our preacher. And yet +that estimable woman, on hearing our eldest daughter indulge last +Sunday in a similar strain, warned her against the wickedness of her +irreverence. I beg you to understand that I am not taking the part of +pastors against congregations any more than I would take the part of +our little girl against her pious mother, but what I write is merely +to blaze the way, as it were, to a settlement of the question: Whether +a pastor is a shepherd set over a congregation by the Almighty, or +whether he is a man whom an angry God has delivered into their hands +that he may suffer for his sins. + + * * * * * + +Have I said anywhere in this paper that Spring has come? Well, I say +it now. It is a sad, gloomy time to man, however woman may look at it. +It is now that the family man sees looming ahead the Easter bonnet +trimmed with deadly $ marks, and the Spring outfits embroidered with +the same costly material. Why is this? Now, I have known X., my next +door neighbor, for eleven years, and in that time I have never known +him to have an Easter hat or an Easter coat or an Easter pair of pants. +I saw him at the Opera lately and his wife had on a seal skin sacque, +and plain X. himself had on no gloves. Why should X. be compelled to +carry through life a bird of paradise, while he appears in the sombre +and often shiny costume of the more humble crow? And now that I have +asked that audacious question, let me ask another: Why is it that as +soon as the frost of age touches a man he commences to tone down his +dress, and as soon as it touches a woman she commences to tone hers +up with all the hot house appliances to imitate the spring time of +life. I don't ask this in a snarly spirit; but as a psychological +riddle. Why is it that in November, with all her brown foliage and +scarlet leaves and wind reddened sky, cannot be content with being +handsome and natural, but should resort to the buds and flowers and +bird-like airs of beautiful June to make her pretty. Ah, there are no +flowers, no feathers, no ribbons, no latest fashions that can hold +their own against Youth. Before it the milliner, the tailor and the +mantua-maker are helpless to render effective assistance to Age. Ah, +Youth, careless, painless, peerless, I drink to you--and put a drop +of peppermint in it. Tom, I was up a little late with the boys last +evening. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN XII + + +Somehow the town presents to me a bereaved appearance. Since the action +of the authorities clearing the sidewalks, I seem to miss some of my +best friends. The tenants of the pavement had become my companions, +after a fashion, so familiar were they to me. The extravagant gentleman +who stood in front of the clothing store, with his change of clothes +every day and the fixed stare out of his rain-washed eyes, was one of +my warmest friends. He was no fair weather friend. The dusts of March, +the showers of April, made no difference with him. He was there, always +there, with his waterproof for the rain, his duster for the summer +heat, and his sou-wester perched on his head when the Equinox set in. +He had one of the most even dispositions I ever knew and always regarded +me with the same mild, far-off look, whatever uniform or decoration +he wore. He was the same with a blue jumper and overalls as he was +with a diagonal suit with "This style $25" flying from the button-hole. +There was a great gap the morning he disappeared. The deserted street +looked like a Sunday or a funeral or some other occasion of unusual +sadness. I went in one day to inquire about him. I didn't have far to +go; he had been tumbled into a corner with empty collar boxes, a broken +coal scuttle, and some fire kindling. He appeared deeply mortified. +"This is a strange fix you find me in, Mr. Boyzy," he said as he +struggled to sit endwise on the bottom of the coal scuttle, "and it +is a strange world we find both of ourselves in, sir. Great crimes are +committed in the name of progress, sir, very great, and this is one +of them. I have been a public man in this city for ten years, sir. I +have guided the tastes of the public--few knew how to clothe themselves +until I showed them, and few would buy their clothing until they had +seen me. I have had men stand and discuss my clothes for hours, making +up their minds about the spring fashions. These city authorities little +know what they are doing. But what do they care? Look at their clothes +and tell me how many of them fit. What is it to them that a public man +and benefactor lies here in a pile of collar boxes? They say that the +old ideas that admitted of my standing on the sidewalk are done away +with, and that this is an age of progress. What sort of progress is +this, that takes a man who has been prominent before the people for +years and dumps him into a dust pile? Look at me! I have never lacked +backbone. Why, I am all backbone. [He had a backbone of iron]. No man +ever knew me to get out of the way of a crowd or go with it. I have +been a consistent public man with a backbone for ten years and here +I am in a dust-pile!" Here the coal scuttle slipped and my old friend +tumbled into the collar boxes with a groan. As I left him I could not +help thinking how many public men all consistency and backbone have +made similar reputations with my dummy friend by never going with or +getting out of the way of the crowd, and ended by being tumbled into +the dust-bin just for the lack of a little wisdom. Alas, how like my +dethroned friend we all are, in the respect of clamoring about our +opinions and wrongs long after the public has forgotten both them and +us. + + * * * * * + +"This is a pretty condition for me to be in now, isn't it?" asked +another old friend of mine that I went to look after. "Why, don't you +remember me? I'm the fish that always used to be at the door as you +went by." It was true, I could hardly remember him. He used to lie in +state on a board on the sidewalk on hot days, half covered with ice, +and his scales looking as bright as silver. Some mornings, I am afraid +I used to catch a faint whiff of his breath, but of course this was +not to be remembered against him in his great trouble now. His troubles +had greatly changed him. From the aristocratic exclusiveness of the +ice-board he had been reduced to being strung up by a string through +his gills to a nail in the wall. The brightness of his scales was gone, +and as far as rank went, he looked as ordinary as the bunch of humble +hickory shad that hung near him. "What do you think of this way of +treating a fish that has come three hundred miles from the coast to +help you out in Lent? What sort of infidel authorities has this city +got, to string up the friend of repentance and reform in this sort of +way? Why, such a town as this ought to have nothing but herrings to +keep Lent with, and they ought to be salt." It was no use trying to +comfort my noble friend, but I could not help thinking that, fish that +he was, he was human in finding his great trouble not so much in being +strung up now, as in having seen better days and more distinction. And +very human he was, too, in taking the ill-treatment of himself as an +offence against Lent. We are so prone to take a grievance directed +against ourselves as an affront to our politics, our church, or +something else to which we bear about the same relation that a fish +does to Lent. + + * * * * * + +The mature young woman who stood in front of the millinery store, and +whom I have seen wear six different overcoats of various styles in one +day, was among the victims of the new law. Her figure was one of the +few that may correctly be termed wiry, but it was perfect. I may say +that I have never seen a waist so slender, or a bust more perfect. But +all of us have our defects; she had hers. In a fearful wind one day +I made the discovery by her being blown over. She had no feet! I don't +think she was the same woman after that terrible day, nor do I remember +that the nose, that was turned awry by the fall, was ever straightened. +When I spoke to her of the new law and her removal to a stand near the +counter, she said it was a good thing. "No woman of proper feeling," +she said with some asperity, "would have borne it as long as I did. +I never wanted to stand there and be gazed at by men, it looked so +bold. As for those women of brass that like it, it is all very well, +but I couldn't stand it. Admiration can never compensate a right-minded +woman for the staring of men. A woman must be very bold indeed to enjoy +it. I like this retired corner much better than out on the walk. It +has a home feeling about it, and the domestic sphere is always a true +woman's choice." It was borne in upon me somehow, as I listened to +her, that a woman with a broken nose and no feet will always think the +woman with a pretty nose and two feet bold. There is a good deal in +this saying if you will only ponder over it. Ponder it. + + * * * * * + +Ignominiously stowed away in a back yard I saw an old friend that +always brought many reflections to my mind when exhibited on the +sidewalk--a coop of chickens. The most humiliated of all my old +acquaintances--a dominiquer rooster--had his head up through the slats +to explain the situation. "Here's a pretty howdy do!" he remarked. +"What sort of treatment is this? I can't see anything here except old +whiskey barrels and clothes lines and dry goods boxes. I can hardly +tell when it is daybreak in this miserable old yard. Why, this morning +I commenced crowing two hours too soon, and a Chinaman over there +raised the window and fired a tin can at my head. I can't attend to +my business in a place like this; there is another rooster around the +corner been crowing all day and I can't get at him. Look you, I'm no +common rooster; I'm no chicken just raised for the Town Authorities +to eat; I'm a warrior. Just look at these legs and these spurs--." And +just as my friend was struggling to get his foot up through the slats, +a washwoman in the second story emptied her soapsuds over the coop. +He disappeared under the shower, amid the wild screaming of the hens. +A moment later a bedraggled head, with one eye closed by suds, looked +out through the side bars and remarked in a saddened voice--"I suppose +the city authorities would be satisfied now--if they could see this." +The sudden change in my old friend from a warrior to a bundle of wet +feathers shocked me into graver thoughts. + +Somehow, I have never seen a coop of chickens in all its glory on the +sidewalk, that I did not think of the French Revolution and the Bastile. +You have seen the picture--I cannot think of the painter's name now--of +the members of the old regime in the prison amusing themselves, not +knowing whose name was to be called next for the guillotine? To me +there is a miniature human world in a chicken coop. All under sentence +of death, and all eating and drinking, and clucking and crowing as if +they were going to last forever. All scrambling and fighting over the +grains of daily corn, even though the hand of the fatal purchaser is +already descending into the mouth of the coop. Like their human brethren +who do not wear feathers, the tallest and the strongest gets his head +up through the slats and gets wider views of the world. He often +mistakes the single street he can see for the Universe and crows out +his discovery until he is picked out of the coop and hurried off to +lose his head, an operation which teaches him that in fact he has +discovered nothing. How like his brother, man! + +All his speculations, all his telescopic philosophies, all his +discoveries, find plausible support until he stumbles on an open grave. +There, man and chickens are dumb. Somehow, those who write and talk +about the future never impress me so much with how much they know, as +with how little. How absolutely nothing they can tell. How echoless +is the Awful Silence into which they toss their petty pebbles of +theories and hopes and speculations. It seems to me that if it were +not for that sensitive disc, the Conscience, which conveys to us the +'still small voice,' from a country far beyond the reach of our petty +theories, the Silence that envelops this planet would be intolerable. +It is unbroken even by the second great event of Life--Death. It must +be a strange sight viewed from elsewhere--this terrestrial chicken +coop of ours, so small that if each of its inhabitants were to touch +hands they would make a ring around it, sailing through the unbroken +silence of Space. A thin crust over a molten centre whirling at a +thousand miles an hour. A collision, a jar, just enough to move it out +of its orbit would wreck it--its surface covered with ignorant human +chickens, knowing neither where they came from nor where they are going +to, scratching, fighting, crowing, clucking, smoothing their feathers +in vanity, and cocking their telescopes at the firmament in hungry +curiosity! It is a sight that must make the Angels weep. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED VETERAN XIII + + +Ah, here you are again! What; you don't remember me? Why, I remember +you. It was last Christmas, don't you know, in this store? You were +buying a mustache-cup--there now, don't blush; perhaps it was slippers, +or a smoking-cap. Anyhow, it was for him. Ah; so you do remember me. +But why do you call him Mr. Smith, now? It was Jack, then. You never +regarded him as anything but a friend? Of course not; but, my dear, +when young people begin to look upon each other as friends--you see +I accent it right--it is very apt to be the overture to a very +difficult opera which is as likely to end with the curtain descending +to the strains of slow music as any other way. I like to see the young +interchanging gifts at holiday times, but I might be allowed to suggest, +as the result of the observation of an old man, be careful of what you +write in sending them. You have seen pictures of Cupid--so healthful, +so chubby and rosy, and such promise of long life. It is a mistake; +I know of no greater invalid--none of the gods whose health is so +frail. I have known a cold word to give him a fatal chill. I have seen +him fly, never to return, from a mere scent--a cigarette breath. I +have known him taken incurably ill at the bad fit of a Jersey or the +set of an overcoat. And I have seen him lie down and die without a +word and nobody ever knew the reason why; even if he knew it himself, +which I very much doubt. So, you see, it will be a very wise precaution +in dealing with such an uncertain god to be prepared for everything. +And one preparation is to be careful of what you put on paper. Many +a young girl and many a young man, in an effort to write their little +notes, sending or receiving holiday presents, often overstep the mark +in trying to strike the proper elevated key. Don't abound in literary +gush, no matter what are your sentiments in giving or receiving; if +you write at all, write a plain, brief, dignified note which you can +read five years after with perfect satisfaction. Notes are often +misunderstood, sometimes we don't exactly understand ourselves when +we write them, and so it is always safer to be on the conservative +side. It will often save a good deal of vain regret and many wishes +to goodness that you had taken this advice. + + * * * * * + +And you here too! Going to surprise your husband with a present again? +A copy of the Revised Version this time? Ah, that will give him a +chance to give you a surprise next Christmas--by reading it. Ah, you +should know Mrs. Boyzy, if you wish to know how to please your husband +at Christmas. For now thirty years that estimable woman has opened her +annual Christmas campaign on me as early as the month of October. With +affectionate strategy I am lured into book stores, and variety stores, +and china stores--last year she tolled me into a drug store--to discover +by artful references to this thing and that, what I fancy. Now, as a +matter of fact, having her, I fancy nothing else (I take it that the +newest married man could get off nothing prettier than that), but I +have become so used to the campaign, and also so unprincipled in my +advices to shorten it, that I profess the liveliest admiration over +about the second thing we come to. The result is that I often get +presents of a novel character. Last year I got a hand-painted coal +scuttle, and but a couple of Christmases before that, I had gotten a +gaudily framed picture of some retired saint, who had been martyred +and for all I know deservedly so. But the fashion of drug stores keeping +holiday presents, once came near exposing my whole plan of self defence. +My intense admiration of a handsomely ornamented cut glass bottle of +Unfailing Lotion for Neuralgia, which I thought she was pointing +out--when in fact she was trying to make me see a gorgeous dressing +case--excited a suspicion even in her unsuspecting mind. But if I +jest about this matter, it is not that I underestimate the sweetness +of the practice of married people remembering each other at Christmas. +I am not so sure that of all other gifts--not even excepting those to +children--these are not the most disinterested and spring from the +truest affection. It is no easy feat to have lived with a man for ten, +fifteen, twenty years; to know his weakness thoroughly; to measure the +wide distance from the heroic stature for which we took him, and the +size into which thorough knowledge shrinks him; to have borne with all +his eccentricities, his fault finding, his natural selfishness; to +have discovered and to have known for years that he is after all like +the rest of us only human, and yet at every recurring Christmas to +send our affections back to the beginning and with a fresh and +unimpaired love give him the mystic password of our hearts in a gift. +If I sometimes laugh at the devices of my wife to find out what it is +I want, I do not have the faintest smile at the patient and loving +heart that inspires them. I do not know that I ever saw an angel, but, +though her hair is tinged with gray, and youth has long since left her +face, I never hear my wife, with her bright smile on Christmas morning, +asking the old, girlish question, "What do you think I've got for you," +that I don't see in it that sort of absolution for the past and +benediction for the future which it is said only angels bring. + + * * * * * + +Ah, I expected to see you here! I knew you would come! Why? Ah, my +boy, every veteran knows well what comes after picket firing. Let me +see: at church with her, concerts, soirees--where else could you be +to-day but in here buying a present? Why, you bought her that last +Christmas! Oh, I see, this Christmas it is for another girl! Come now, +don't look conscious over it. The girls can't help it; they will change +now and then, It is not their fault, but still it will happen. My boy, +the business you are now in has by no means been reduced to a fixed +science. No calculation yet made has reduced to a certainty any way +of holding a girl after you think you have her. There is a good deal +of money in store for the man that makes it--when he does. But she +seemed--. There now, I know all about it; but you musn't hold a girl +rigidly to what you think she seems. When you get to be as old as I +am, you will know that girls have a hard, hard time of it. Custom won't +allow them to do anything but seem. It doesn't allow them to tell a +man that they like him, and, still worse, it doesn't allow them to +tell him that they don't like him. You did go there, you know, pretty +nearly all last year, didn't you? What could she do? Set the dogs on +you? That would have been unmistakable, but in her set that isn't +allowable. Be rude to you? She is a lady, how could she be rude? She +shouldn't have accepted--. There now, be fair about this thing. How +could she help accepting your attentions, your bonbons, your sleigh +rides, your--well, your boring generally, if you will have it--without +being rude? There isn't, under our social rules, a more defenceless +creature on earth than an attractive girl in society, from attentions +that are wearisome and unwelcome. Nor, if she maintains the +self-respecting rules that society has laid down for her, is there a +more helpless creature in obtaining what she wants. You often hear it +flippantly said, that if a girl loves a man she can always let him +know it. There never was a greater mistake. On the contrary, the poor +young things, when they find it out, so far from being able to let the +young fellow know it, commence a fearful struggle to keep him from +knowing it. I suppose it is, so to speak, constitutional with them, +and they can't help it. I have seen a gentle, well-bred young girl in +such agonized fear of discovery that she rudely repulsed the common +advances of politeness on the part of the object. Women lose their +heads on the subject of love, as often, I sometimes think, as their +hearts. + + * * * * * + +Why, you are only buying one little wagon this year; I thought I saw +you buying two last Christmas; one of the little ones has outgrown it, +I reckon? What, dead! I beg your pardon. It was thoughtless of me. +Dead! Then he has outgrown it. Outgrown it all--sickness, pain, +disappointments, a long, weary life--all at a single leap. But this +does not comfort you. Ah, no; nothing comforts us for those we have +seen slip into the dark. It will be but human in you to miss him this +Christmas, and to think of the hundred ways in which he would have had +pleasure if he had only lived. I think that in the death of children +there is an added grief to that we feel when men and women die. They +are so little, so helpless, one cannot help feeling anxious about how +they will get along in the new world they have gone to; who will take +care of them, and whether they will be neglected. When the time comes +for putting the children to bed in the evening, we cannot help thinking +about the little one who has gone from life, and wondering as we sit +by the firelight whether there is any one taking care of it. We can't +help feeling sure that it wants to be with its mother; it always used +to when night came on. It always climbed into her lap when dark came +and it surely wants to be back to-night. It cannot be happy, for it +is among strangers, and if it is unhappy, there is but one place for +it, its home, and but one bosom on which to lay its head, its mother's. +And so our human heart talks on in its hot grief. It is a great comfort +to remember, after awhile, that there is a Father who watches over it +as tenderly as he has watched over all his children, and who will guide +the little one into a new and higher life, as He will us older children +who come to Him later in life, like tired and weary children seeking +a mother's breast. + + * * * * * + +And so you didn't know what a castle in Spain was? Why, you have lived +in one. In one! you have lived in a hundred, and if you were older you +would have lived in a thousand. Why, everybody lives in castles in +Spain sometimes. Let me see how to tell you about it. You know your +elder sister that young Pettengill comes to see so often, and whom you +hate so because you have to go to bed early? Well, your sister lives +in a castle in Spain. She has had it papered and painted, and moved +to another street to be near her dearest girl friend so as to make +visiting convenient, and she has had the front yard fixed with flowers, +particularly those he likes, and has had a door-plate put on the castle +door with a name on it, CLARENCE PETTENGILL, in large letters. I +remember when your father married your mother forty years ago, that +she lived in a castle in Spain, and to her eyes your father was clad +in shining armor and wore long plumes in his hat, and to those same +eyes was a Hero of high degree. Why, even the old gentleman who is +writing this to you, has lived in those castles, and as he looks back +at them now with their bare walls and broken windows and tumbled down +appearance generally, he often wonders how he came to build them. Some +times, more especially at Christmas time, he gets on an old, and now +uncertain steed called Memory, and rides back to all the castles he +has lived in. So beautiful when he built them, so brightly painted by +Hope and Pride and Ambition and all the other celebrated artists of +that day; now so dingy and wrecked that you would hardly know them, +and some clear faded out of sight. The castle, little one, that you +are now living in has over the front door in big letters CHRISTMAS, +and from its window you see such lots of fun that you will never have, +such lots of presents that you will never get, and such a lot of +imagining that you will never see realized. After this week is over, +you will take down the big sign over the door, close the blinds, and +stand watching with grieved heart while your castle fades into the +air. There is nothing on earth, as you will see when you are old, that +is not something like these castles in Spain, and but One Thing, that +is not tainted with their evanescent life. God grant, little one, that +at the end of our lives, you and I may have clung to that one thing, +and that we may have so lived that the many mansions of our Father in +a fairer world may not be for us--castles in Spain. + +FINIS. + + + + +(Envoy) + +FOR A SOLDIER + +(Henry C. Tinsley, Died August 21, 1902) + + + Not 'mid the din of battle long ago, + But in the lingering clutch of later pain + Death found him, whom we shall not see again + Lifting a fearless front to every foe. + Yet shall suns somewhere shine for him, and blow + The lilies and the roses without stain, + Who through the lengthened years in heart and brain + Knew most of storm and winter with its snow. + + For it is written in the starry sky,-- + In the vast spaces and the silences,-- + That God's eternal universe is his + Who fears not, though he live or if he die. + --A soldier to the dauntless end was he, + As riding with his red artillery. + + ARMISTEAD C. 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