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font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Samantha in Europe, by Mariettta Holley</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Samantha in Europe</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Mariettta Holley</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: December 19, 2021 [eBook #66972]</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: hekula03, sf2001, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)</div> - -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA IN EUROPE ***</div> - - <div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_cover" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/cover.jpg" alt="Cover" /> - </div> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_i">[Pg i]</span></p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_ii">[Pg ii]</span></p> -<h1><i>Samantha in Europe</i></h1> -</div> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_iii">[Pg iii]</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_frontis" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_frontis.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap"> - He riz right up and shook his fist at the man with the nightcap.</span>” - (<span class="smcap">See <a href="#Page_641">page 641</a>.</span>)</p></div> -</div> -</div> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<div class="figcenter illowp71" id="title" style="max-width: 25em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/title.jpg" alt="" /> -</div> -</div> - -<div class="bbox center" style="max-width: 25em;"> -<p class="center"> -<i>Samantha<br /> -in<br /> -Europe</i><br /> -</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>by</i><br /> -<i>Josiah Allen’s Wife</i><br /> -(Marietta Holley)<br /> -</p> - -<p class="center"> -Illustrated<br /> -by<br /> -C DeGrimm<br /> -</p> - -<p class="center"><i>Printed in the United States</i></p> - -<p class="center"><i>New York · Funk and Wagnalls Company 1896</i><br /> -<i>London and Toronto</i> -</p> -</div> - -<p> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_iv">[Pg iv]</span> -</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p class="center"> -<span class="smcap">Copyright, 1895, by</span><br /> -FUNK & WAGNALLS COMPANY</p> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> -<p class="center"> -Registered at Stationers’ Hall<br /> -London, England -</p> -<p> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_v">[Pg v]</span> -</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2>Dedication.</h2> -<p class="h2sub"> -TO THE WEARY TRAVELLER WHO YEARNS TO SEE -UNDER STRANGE SKIES THE LIGHT OF THE<br /> -OLD HOME FIRE,<br /> -THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED BY -</p> -<p class="center"> -<span class="smcap gesperrt">Samantha and Josiah</span>. -</p> -</div> - -<p> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_vi">[Pg vi]</span> -</p> -<p> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_vii">[Pg vii]</span> -</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="PREFACE">PREFACE.</h2> -</div> - -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Sez Josiah, as he see me writin’ this preface:</p> - -<p>“Seems to me, Samantha, you’ve writ enough -prefaces.”</p> - -<p>(He wanted me to start the supper; but, good -land! it wuzn’t only half past five, and I had a -spring chicken all ready to fry, and my cream biscuit -wuz all ready for the oven, on the kitchen table.)</p> - -<p>Sez he, “It seems to me you’ve writ enough on -em.”</p> - -<p>And I sez, “Wall, Josiah, I’d hate to sadden the -world by sayin’ I wouldn’t write any more.”</p> - -<p>And he sez, “How do you know it would sadden -the world—how do you know it would?” And -he continued: “Samantha, I hain’t wanted to -dampen you, but I have always considered your -writin’s weak; naterally they would be, bein’ writ -by a woman; and,” sez he, as he looked longin’ly -towards the buttery door and the plump chicken, -“a woman’s spear lays in a different direction.”</p> - -<p>And I sez, “I thought I’d write some of our adventures -in our trip abroad—that happy time,” sez -I, lookin’ inquirin’ly at him.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_viii">[Pg viii]</span></p> -<p>“Happy time!” sez he, a-kinder ’nashin’ his teeth—“happy! -gracious Heavens! Do you want to -bring up my sufferin’s agin, when I jest lived -through ’em?”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, a-gittin’ up and approachin’ the -buttery, and takin’ down the tea-kettle and fryin’-pan -and coffee-pot, “I have writ other things in the -book that I am more interested in myself.”</p> - -<p>He sot kinder still and demute as I put the -chicken on to fry in butter, and put the cream biscuit -in the oven, and poured the bilein’ water on the -fragrant coffee; his mean seemed to grow softer, -and he sez:</p> - -<p>“Mebby I wuz too hash a-sayin’ what I did -about your writin’s, Samantha; I guess you write -as well as you know how to; I guess you <i>mean</i> -well;” and as he see me a-spreadin’ the snowy table-cloth -on the little round table, and a-puttin’ on some -cream cheese and some peach sass, he sez further:</p> - -<p>“Nobody is to blame for what they don’t -know, Samantha.”</p> - -<p>I looked down affectionately and pityin’ly on -his old bald head and then further off—way off -into mysterious spaces no mortal feet has ever trod, -and I sez:</p> - -<p>“That is so, Josiah.”</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_ix">[Pg ix]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="TABLE_OF_CONTENTS">TABLE OF CONTENTS.</h2> -</div> - -<table summary="Table of Contents"> -<tr><td class="chapnum"><span class="smcap">Chapter</span></td> - <td /> - <td><span class="allsmcap">PAGE</span></td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum"></td> - <td class="title"><a href="#PREFACE">Preface</a></td> - <td class="pageno">vii</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum"></td> - <td class="title"><a href="#LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS">List of Illustrations</a></td> - <td class="pageno">xi</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">I.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">Trains of Retrospection</a></td> - <td class="pageno">1</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">II.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_II">A Heathen Missionary</a></td> - <td class="pageno">32</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">III.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_III">Off into Side Paths</a></td> - <td class="pageno">57</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">IV.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">Samantha’s Sword of Truth and Justice</a></td> - <td class="pageno">85</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">V.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_V">A Heathen’s Standard of Morality</a></td> - <td class="pageno">105</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">VI.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">A Little Fun and its Price</a></td> - <td class="pageno">119</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">VII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">The Embarkation</a></td> - <td class="pageno">135</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">VIII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">Landing in the Emerald Isle</a></td> - <td class="pageno">153</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">IX.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">A Visit to Blarney Castle</a></td> - <td class="pageno">173</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">X.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_X">Killarney, Dublin, and a Wake</a></td> - <td class="pageno">183</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XI.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">Josiah as a Banshee</a></td> - <td class="pageno">197</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XII">Robert Burns and Highland Mary</a></td> - <td class="pageno">223</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XIII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIII">Edinburgh and Mary Queen of Scots</a></td> - <td class="pageno">241</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XIV.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIV">Memories of Sir Walter Scott</a></td> - <td class="pageno">262</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XV.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XV">Old York and its Cathedral</a></td> - <td class="pageno">281</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XVI.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVI">Edensor and the Duke of Devonshire</a></td> - <td class="pageno">300</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XVII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVII">Josiah has an Adventure</a></td> - <td class="pageno">322</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XVIII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVIII">Shottery and Warwick Castle</a></td> - <td class="pageno">354</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XIX.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIX">The Lake District and its Poets</a></td> - <td class="pageno">374</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XX.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XX">The Arrival in London</a></td> - <td class="pageno">389</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXI.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXI">Westminster and Parliament Houses</a></td> - <td class="pageno">400</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXII">Samantha Sees a Doctor</a></td> - <td class="pageno">418<span class="pagenum" id="Page_x">[Pg x]</span></td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXIII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIII">St. Paul’s and the Duke of Wellington</a></td> - <td class="pageno">433</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXIV.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIV">“The Widder Albert”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">445</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXV.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXV">A Visit to the British Museum</a></td> - <td class="pageno">464</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXVI.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVI">Paris and its Beauties</a></td> - <td class="pageno">486</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXVII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVII">Napoleon and other Great Frenchmen</a></td> - <td class="pageno">510</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXVIII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVIII">Germany and Belgium</a></td> - <td class="pageno">525</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXIX.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIX">Samantha Climbs the Righi</a></td> - <td class="pageno">548</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXX.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXX">Milan, Genoa, Venice</a></td> - <td class="pageno">574</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXXI.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXI">Colosseum and Catacombs</a></td> - <td class="pageno">602</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXXII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXII">Fashionable Watering-Places</a></td> - <td class="pageno">616</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXXIII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXIII">Cathedrals and Castles in Spain</a></td> - <td class="pageno">627</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXXIV.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXIV">Josiah’s Devotion</a></td> - <td class="pageno">640</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXXV.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXV">The Queen, Ulaley, and a Bull-Fight</a></td> - <td class="pageno">651</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXXVI.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXVI">A Spanish Funeral and a Jonesville One</a></td> - <td class="pageno">664</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXXVII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXVII">Al Faizi Says Good-Bye</a></td> - <td class="pageno">674</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXXVIII.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXVIII">Home again, from a Foreign Shore</a></td> - <td class="pageno">683</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XXXIX.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXIX">Martin’s Terrible Lesson</a></td> - <td class="pageno">693</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum">XL.</td> - <td class="title"><a href="#CHAPTER_XL">Good-Night, Little Pardner</a></td> - <td class="pageno">707</td></tr> -<tr><td class="chapnum"></td> - <td class="title"><a href="#Other_Works_by_Josiah_Allens_Wife">Other Works by Josiah Allen’s Wife.</a></td> - <td class="pageno">715</td></tr> -</table> - -<p> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_xi">[Pg xi]</span> -</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS">LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.</h2> -</div> - -<table summary="List of Illustrations"> -<tr><td /><td class="pageno"><span class="allsmcap">PAGE</span></td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_frontis">“He riz right up and shook his fist at the man with the nightcap”</a></td> - <td class="pageno"><i>Frontispiece</i></td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_001">Twilight on the broad ocean</a></td> - <td class="pageno">1</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_004">Asleep in his narrer bunk</a></td> - <td class="pageno">4</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_009">Two prettier, winnin’er creeters never lived than them two</a></td> - <td class="pageno">9</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_012">“Aunt Samantha, where is Heaven? Is it up in the sky?”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">12</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_016">He sassed him and yelled out, “You dum fool, you, throw me a board!”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">16</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_018">“It depends on whose lives they be”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">18</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_027">Josiah and me put on our strongest specks</a></td> - <td class="pageno">27</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_031">It wuz very dressy when it wuz done</a></td> - <td class="pageno">31</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_034">A dark figger that riz up like a strange picter aginst the sunset</a></td> - <td class="pageno">34</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_039">“I don’t love to hear that; that sounds bad”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">39</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_045">“‘That man is a Christian.’ ‘How do you know?’ ‘Because he is drunk’”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">45</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_049">“Uncle Sam a-wadin’ in sin up to his old knee jints”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">49</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_052">The game of Bulls and Bears</a></td> - <td class="pageno">52</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_055">Al Faizi made a deep bow, almost to the floor</a></td> - <td class="pageno">55</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_061">Sez I, a-risin’ up in the democrat, “I’ll git out”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">61</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_068">She met me with a sweet smile</a></td> - <td class="pageno">68</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_075">Finally, he got to be quarrelsome</a></td> - <td class="pageno">75</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_080">Ellick lay drunk in the office</a></td> - <td class="pageno">80</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_087">It wuz Ellick Gurley</a></td> - <td class="pageno">87</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_097">“Yes, it <i>wuz</i> sunthin’ else; it wuz <i>you</i>”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">97</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_102">“Save the Sam, it may come in handy in the futer”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">102</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_112">With one of his low, reverential bows</a></td> - <td class="pageno">112</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_125">As the elder took it he turned pale</a></td> - <td class="pageno">125<span class="pagenum" id="Page_xii">[Pg xii]</span></td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_131">I took down my old Atlas</a></td> - <td class="pageno">131</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_139">In time to kiss us and clasp our hands in partin’</a></td> - <td class="pageno">139</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_142">Her big blue eyes wuz full of tears</a></td> - <td class="pageno">142</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_147">Then took his umbrell and started for the door</a></td> - <td class="pageno">147</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_151">We tottered up on deck, two pale, thin figgers</a></td> - <td class="pageno">151</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_157">The lord with a pink paper suit on</a></td> - <td class="pageno">157</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_166">With a stern look, calculated to wither him</a></td> - <td class="pageno">166</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_171">We went in what they call a “jauntin’ car”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">171</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_184">Three beautiful lakes</a></td> - <td class="pageno">184</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_189">Drinkin’ and tobacco-smokin’ in the little hovel drove ’em out</a></td> - <td class="pageno">189</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_201">Drippin’ wet when he come back</a></td> - <td class="pageno">201</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_206">Alice stood there, white and tremblin’</a></td> - <td class="pageno">206</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_209">A dark figger a-standin’ up on a little rock</a></td> - <td class="pageno">209</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_217">I laid out to talk to Victoria on the subject</a></td> - <td class="pageno">217</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_219">Samantha and Ellen Douglas</a></td> - <td class="pageno">219</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_230">This immortal pair of lovers</a></td> - <td class="pageno">230</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_238">The same furies that pursued the drunken Tam</a></td> - <td class="pageno">238</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_250">Edinburgh Castle</a></td> - <td class="pageno">250</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_254">The National Covenant signed by the Earl of Sutherland</a></td> - <td class="pageno">254</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_259">When Prince Charlie and Flora Macdonald parted</a></td> - <td class="pageno">259</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_263">“I could sing to you,” sez he</a></td> - <td class="pageno">263</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_268">“When they got dirty, jest wet a towel and clean ’em off”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">268</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_274">“I never should think of usin’ it”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">274</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_281">Josiah wuz dretful took with it</a></td> - <td class="pageno">281</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_285">“What a sensation it would create in Jonesville!”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">285</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_289">That sentinul twelve or fourteen hundred years ago</a></td> - <td class="pageno">289</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_294">“With the ends of the fingers a-hangin’ down”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">294</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_299">Robin Hood</a></td> - <td class="pageno">299</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_301">“It don’t pay to tussel with ’em”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">301</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_307">Martin sent his card in</a></td> - <td class="pageno">307</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_313">Josiah’s home-made waterfall</a></td> - <td class="pageno">313</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_319">Her common-sense shoe</a></td> - <td class="pageno">319</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_322">A quaint, old-fashioned tarvern</a></td> - <td class="pageno">322<span class="pagenum" id="Page_xiii">[Pg xiii]</span></td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_328">Says he, “I’m a-goin’ back—it is my duty”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">328</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_337">Shakespeare’s ghost reading the effusions on the walls of his house</a></td> - <td class="pageno">337</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_344">A great many portraits of Shakespeare</a></td> - <td class="pageno">344</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_350">The font in which Shakespeare was baptized</a></td> - <td class="pageno">350</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_353">The supper that man eat wuz enormous</a></td> - <td class="pageno">353</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_359">“You couldn’t eat that full of porridge”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">359</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_362">“The more I see of moats, the more determined I be to have one round our house”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">362</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_370">“I am going to work for the poor”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">370</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_379">My tone chilled him to the veins</a></td> - <td class="pageno">379</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_384">Martin with his patronizin’ ways</a></td> - <td class="pageno">384</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_386">A livin’ poem bound up in a girl’s sweet body</a></td> - <td class="pageno">386</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_391">Them letters wuz a stroke of genius</a></td> - <td class="pageno">391</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_395">A hull soap-box full</a></td> - <td class="pageno">395</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_401">We stood long and silently by the graves of the great dead</a></td> - <td class="pageno">401</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_407">An immense chair, the four legs bein’ four animals</a></td> - <td class="pageno">407</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_415">“When I’m elected to Congress I’m goin’ to wear my hat the hull time”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">415</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_421">That little dude doctor, with his cane and his eyeglass</a></td> - <td class="pageno">421</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_424">“I have had some trouble with my back lately, and I want you to look at it”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">424</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_427">Samantha’s faith cure</a></td> - <td class="pageno">427</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_442">“Yes,” sez Josiah, “old Domono probble had his hands full with her”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">442</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_455">“Almost in the shadow of the Bank of England, I found the greatest want and wretchedness”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">455</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_459">Right in front of the tarvern, I have seen with my own eyes as many as five teams and two open buggies</a></td> - <td class="pageno">459</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_468">“Be you any kin of Bildad Henzy, of Jonesville?”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">468</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_472">Napoleon’s tooth</a></td> - <td class="pageno">472</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_477">Josiah at the London “Zoo”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">477</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_486">“Calf-o-lay! I hain’t a calf or a ox!” he shouted</a></td> - <td class="pageno">486</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_489">“How stylish I would look”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">489</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_492">“I don’t spoze I could ever git to be nigh so graceful as she is”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">492<span class="pagenum" id="Page_xiv">[Pg xiv]</span></td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_500">Josiah, “cultered and travelled,” schemes for Jonesvillian out-door dinner parties, à la Paris, and how Samantha foresees the result</a></td> - <td class="pageno">500</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_505">There wuz the clothes he wore that he ust to button over that restless, ambitious heart</a></td> - <td class="pageno">505</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_512">With his arms folded, and that old hat of hisen on, and his inscrutable eyes fixed on the heights</a></td> - <td class="pageno">512</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_518">A-wipin’ my face on sech genteel towels</a></td> - <td class="pageno">518</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_523">“I believe he’d sell the steelyards that Jestice weighs things in, if he could git a few cents for ’em”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">523</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_526">“No attention paid to rumatiz, or meal times, or corns”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">526</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_537">“A woman jest dressin’ herself—she seems all broke up”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">537</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_540">I thought more’n likely I should be melted into tears</a></td> - <td class="pageno">540</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_543">A-leadin’ Adrian and a-plannin’ sunthin’ with him relatin’ to a whistle</a></td> - <td class="pageno">543</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_553">A hogsit as big as the Jonesville tarvern</a></td> - <td class="pageno">553</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_556">We did indeed go slow, but sure; for in two hours’ time we arrove on the summit</a></td> - <td class="pageno">556</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_561">“They have emulative Mas, who are bound that they shan’t be out-travelled”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">561</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_563">Ye-o-lo-leo-leo-leo—the melogious cry of the Alpine shepherds</a></td> - <td class="pageno">563</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_566">Listening to the organ’s grand, melancholy voice</a></td> - <td class="pageno">566</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_568">I thought considerable about William Tell and his exploits with Gessler, apples, etc.</a></td> - <td class="pageno">568</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_579">Divine realms of melody wuz brung to view by his heavenly vision</a></td> - <td class="pageno">579</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_581">“If this smell keeps on, and the dum muskeeters keeps on a-bitin’, one man will ‘see Venice and die’”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">581</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_588">“Next thing I’d know you’d have a inquisition a-goin’ on”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">588</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_599">The Tower of Pisa</a></td> - <td class="pageno">599</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_602">The Colosseum</a></td> - <td class="pageno">602<span class="pagenum" id="Page_xv">[Pg xv]</span></td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_607">“The guides went ahead with flarin’ lights”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">607</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_616">Mr. Goldwind, one of Martin’s business rivals</a></td> - <td class="pageno">616</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_623">“I have faith that it aches like the old Harry”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">623</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_628a">I see one of the officials take up my sheep’s-head nightcap</a></td> - <td class="pageno">628</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_628b">A smile of admiration swep’ over his dark visage</a></td> - <td class="pageno">628</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_631">Heavey, rough carts, drawed by an ox and a cow lashed together by ropes wound round their horns</a></td> - <td class="pageno">631</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_647">At my request he hooked up my dress skirt in the back</a></td> - <td class="pageno">647</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_653">She knowed me to once—a happy smile curved her pretty lips</a></td> - <td class="pageno">653</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_661a">The Matador</a></td> - <td class="pageno">661</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_661b">His victim</a></td> - <td class="pageno">661</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_666">How cold his feet must have been cold mornin’s</a></td> - <td class="pageno">666</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_675">“I go back to my own country—I have many things to teach my people—to avoid”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">675</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_684">They had sent Philury out, like a dove, on the front doorstep to meet us</a></td> - <td class="pageno">684</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_687">His looks wuz so onbecomin’ to a deacon and a path-master</a></td> - <td class="pageno">687</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_698">Sez Martin agin, “I am sick to death of these everlasting complaints”</a></td> - <td class="pageno">698</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_701">He fell down jest like a log at my feet</a></td> - <td class="pageno">701</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_704">A faithful creeter with a strong breath, caused by stimulants, I believe</a></td> - <td class="pageno">704</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_709">He busted out into tears and buried his face in his hands</a></td> - <td class="pageno">709</td></tr> -<tr><td class="toi-title"><a href="#i_714">Finis</a></td> - <td class="pageno">714</td></tr> -</table> - -<p> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</span> -</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="SAMANTHA_IN_EUROPE">SAMANTHA IN EUROPE.</h2> - -<hr class="r15" /> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER I.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">TRAINS OF RETROSPECTION.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp91" id="i_001" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_001.jpg" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p>Twilight on the broad -ocean! Smooth, wild -waste of blue-gray waters -stretchin’ out as fur -as the eye could reach on -every side.</p> - -<p>In the east a silvery -moon hangin’ low and a shinin’ path leadin’ up to -it. In the west Mars a-dazzlin’ bright over a pale -pink sky, with streaks of yeller and crimson a-layin’ -stretched acrost it, like bars put up by angel hands -a-fencin’ in their world from ourn.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</span></p> - -<p>Now in a sunset in Jonesville it might seem as if -you could put on your sun-bunnet and stride off -over hills and valleys and at las’ reach the Sunset -Land, and peek over the bars and ketch a glimpse -of what wuz beyend.</p> - -<p>It would seem amongst the possibles.</p> - -<p>But here—oh! how fur-off, illimitable, unaproachable, -duz that fur-off glory look!</p> - -<p>And Mars seemed to wink that red eye of hisen -at me mockin’ly as I strained my eyes over the long -watery plain, as if to say—“The time has been when -you wuz free to roam round, a-walkin’ off afoot; -you may have gloated over me in your free thoughts -and said—</p> - -<p>“You are fixed and sot up there, while I am free -to soar and sail. Now, haughty female mortal, -your wings are clipped—the time has come when -your walkin’ afoot and roamin’ round is stopped.”</p> - -<p>To think that I myself, Josiah Allen’s Wife, -should find myself on the Atlantic a-hangin’ onto -the gunwale of the ship with one hand, and a-lookin’ -off over the endless waters below and all -round me, and a-thinkin’ if I should trust myself to -step out onto its heavey, treacherous surface where -should I go to, and when, and why! I, Samantha, -who had ever been ust to slippin’ on my sun-bunnet -and runnin’ into Miss Bobbettses, or out -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</span> -into the garden, or out to the hen-house for eggs, -or down into the orchard, or the wood paster for -recreation or cowslips.</p> - -<p>To think that I wuz thus caged up as it were, -my restless wings (speakin’ in metafor) folded in -such clost quarters, with no chance (to foller up the -metafor) of floppin’ ’em to any extent.</p> - -<p>Oh! where wuz I? The thought wuz full of or. -Why wuz I? This thought brung on trains of -retrospection.</p> - -<p>As I sot in my contracted corner of the aft fore-castle -deck, and Night wuz lettin’ down, gradual, -her starry mantilly over me and the seen, as erst it -did over me as I sot in the sweet, restful door-yard -at Jonesville. (Dear seen, shall I ever see thee -agin?)</p> - -<p>I will rehearse the facts that led to my takin’ -this onpresidented step.</p> - -<p>My pardner is asleep in his narrer bunk, or ruther -on one of the shelves in our cell, that are cushioned, -and on which our two forms nightly repose.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_004" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_004.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Asleep in his narrer bunk.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>He is at rest. The waves are asleep, or pretty -nigh asleep, the night winds are hushed, and all -Nater seems to draw in her breath and wait for me -as I tell the tale.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</span></p> -<p>I will begin, as most fashionable novelists do, with -a verse of poetry——</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Backward, turn backward (as fur as Jonesville), Oh Time, in thy flight—</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Make me (a trusty, short-winded, female historian) jest for to-night.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>It wuz now goin’ on three years sence Uncle -Philander Smith’s son, Philander Martin, named -after his Pa and his Uncle Martin, writ a line to -me announcin’ his advent into Jonesville. And in -speakin’ of Philander I shall have to go back, kinder -sideways, some distance into the past to describe -him.</p> - -<p>Yes,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</span> -I will have to lead the horse fur back to -hitch it on properly to the wagon of my history, or -mebby it would be more proper, under the circumstances, -to say how fur I must row my little personal -life-boat back to hitch it onto the great steamer -of my statement, in order that there shall be direct -smooth sailin’ and no meanderin’.</p> - -<p>Wall, with the first paddle of my verbal row-boat, -I would state—</p> - -<p>(And into how many little still side coves and -seemin’ly wind-locked ways my little life-boat must -sail on her way back to be jined to the great steamer, -and how I must stay in ’em for some time! It can’t -be helped.)</p> - -<p>Yes, it must have been pretty nigh three years -ago that we had our first letter from P. Martyn -Smythe.</p> - -<p>He is my second cousin on my own side. And -he sot out from Spoonville (a neighborin’ hamlet) -years ago with lots of ambition and pluck and -energy, and about one dollar and seventy-five cents -in money.</p> - -<p>Uncle Philander, his father, had a big family, and -died leavin’ him nothin’ but his good example and -some old spectacles and a cane.</p> - -<p>He wuz brung up by his Uncle Martin, a good-natered -creeter, but onfaculized and shiftless.</p> - -<p>Young Martin never loved to be hampered, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</span> and -after he got old enough to help his uncle, he didn’t -want to be hampered with him, so he packed up -his little knapsack and sot out to seek his fortune, -and he prospered beyend any tellin’, bought some -mines, and railroads, and things, and at last come -back East and settled down in a neighborin’ city, -and then got rid of several things that he found -hamperin’ to him. Amongst ’em wuz his old name—now -he calls it “Smythe.”</p> - -<p>Yes, he got rid of the good, reliable old Smith -name, that has stood by so many human bein’s even -unto the end. And he got rid, too, of his conscience, -the biggest heft of it, and his poor relations.</p> - -<p>For why, indeed, should a Bill or a Tom Smith -claim relationship with a P. Martyn Smythe?</p> - -<p>Why, indeed! He got rid of ’em all in a heap, as -it were, a-ignorin’ “the hull kit and bilein’ of ’em,” -as Aunt Debby said.</p> - -<p>“Never seen hide nor hair of any of ’em, from -one year’s end to the other,” sez Aunt Debby.</p> - -<p>As to his conscience, he got rid of that, I spoze, -kinder gradual, a little at a time, till to all human -appearance he hadn’t a speck left, of which more -anon.</p> - -<p>But there wuz a little of it left, enough to leven -his hull nater and raise it up, some like hop yeast, -only stronger and more spiritual (as will also be -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</span> -seen anon).</p> - -<p>Wall, he never seemed to know where his cousin, -she that wuz Samantha Smith, lived, and his neck -seemed to be made in that way—kinder held up by -his stiff white collar mebby—that it held his head -up firm and immovable, so’s he didn’t see me nor my -Josiah when he’d meet him once in a great while at -some quarterly meetin’ or conferences and sech.</p> - -<p>I guess that neck of hisen carried him so straight -that he couldn’t seem to turn it towards the old -Smith pew at all.</p> - -<p>And then he wuz dretful near-sighted, too; his -eyes wuz affected dretful curous.</p> - -<p>Uncle Mart Smith, the one P. Martin wuz -named after, atted him about it, for he wuz his -own uncle, and dretful shiftless and poor, but a -Christian as fur as he could be with his nateral laziness -on him.</p> - -<p>As I say, he partly brung Martin up. A good-natered -creeter he wuz. And one day he walked -right up and atted P. Martyn Smythe as to why he -never could see him.</p> - -<p>And P. Martyn sed that it wuz his eyesight; sez -he, “I’m dretful near-sighted.”</p> - -<p>It made it all right with Uncle Martin, but his -wife, Aunt Debby, she sed, “Why can he see bishops -and elders so plain?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</span></p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez Uncle Mart, “it is a curous complaint.” -And she sez—</p> - -<p>“’Tain’t curous a mite; it’s as nateral as ingratitude, -and as old as Pharo.”</p> - -<p>And she and Uncle Mart had some words about it.</p> - -<p>Wall, his eyesight seemed to grow worse and -worse so fur as old friends and relations wuz concerned, -till all of a sudden—it wuz after my third -book had shook the world, or I spoze it did; it -kinder jarred it anyway, I guess—wall, what -should that man, P. Martyn, do, but write to me -and invite me to the big city where he lived.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “Relations ort to cling closter to each -other;” sez he, “Come and stay a week.”</p> - -<p>I answered his note, cool but friendly.</p> - -<p>And then he writ agin, and asked me to come -and stay a month. Agin my answer wuz Christian, -but about as cool as well water.</p> - -<p>And then he writ agin and asked me to come -and stay a year with ’em. And he would be glad, -he said, he and his two motherless children, if I -would come and live with ’em always.</p> - -<p>This allusion to the motherless melted me down -some, and my reply wuz, I spoze, about the temperture -of milk jest from the cow.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</span></p> -<p>But I said that Duty and Josiah binded me to -my home and Jonesville.</p> - -<p>Wall, the next summer what should P. Martyn -do but to write to me that he and Alice and -Adrian, his two children, wuz a-comin’ to Jonesville, -and would we take ’em in for a week? He -thought his children needed fresh air and a little -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span> -cossetin’.</p> - -<p>Wall, to me, Josiah Allen’s wife, who has brung -up almost numberless lambs and chickens by hand -as cossets, this allusion to “cossetin’” melted me so -and warmed up my nater, that my reply wuz about -the temperture of skim milk het for the calves.</p> - -<p>So they come.</p> - -<p>And indeed I said then what I say now, and I’ll -defy anybody to dispute me, that two prettier, winnin’er -creeters never lived than them two children.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp58" id="i_009" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_009.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Two prettier, winnin’er creeters never lived than them two.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Alice wuz about sixteen then, and Adrian wuz -about five, and wuzn’t they happy! My hull heart -went out to ’em, and mebby it wuz that love -atmosphere that wropped ’em completely round -that made ’em grow so bright and cheerful and -healthy.</p> - -<p>There hain’t no atmosphere that is at the same -time so inspirin’ and so restful as the heart atmosphere -of love.</p> - -<p>You can always tell ’em that breathe its rare, -fine atmosphere by the radiance in their faces and -the lightness of their step.</p> - -<p>I loved them two children dearly. They wuz -both as handsome as picters, Alice fair and slender -and sweet as a white day lily, with big, happy blue -eyes, and hair of the same gold color that her -mother had had.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span></p> - -<p>Adrian had long curls of that same wonderful -golden hair, and his eyes wuz big, inspirin’, blue -gray, and his lips always seemed to hold a happy -secret. He had that look some way.</p> - -<p>Though what it could be we couldn’t tell, for he -talked pretty much all the time.</p> - -<p>And the questions he asked would more’n fill -our old family Bible, I’m sure, and I thought some -of the time that the overflow would fill Foxe’s -“Book of Martyrs.”</p> - -<p>Why, one day we got old Uncle Smedley to -mow our lawn while Adrian wuz there, and I felt -sorry that I didn’t put down the questions that -Adrian asked that perfectly deaf man as he trotted -along in his little velvet suit by the side of the lawn -mower.</p> - -<p>But then I d’no as I’m sorry, after all, for paper -is sometimes skurce, and I don’t believe in extravagance.</p> - -<p>And how he did love poseys, most of all the English -violets! We had a big bed of ’em, and he always -had a bunch of ’em in his little buttonhole, and be -a-pinnin’ ’em to my waist and Alice’s. And he would -have a big bunch in his hand, and jest bury his face -in ’em, as if he wuz tryin’ to take in their deep, -sweet perfume through his pores as it wuz. And -always a little, low vase that stood before his plate -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span> -on the table would be full of ’em.</p> - -<p>I wondered at it some, but found out that before -he wuz born his sweet Ma had jest sech a passion -for ’em, and always had her room full of ’em. And -I kinder wondered if, in some occult way, she wuz -a-keepin’ up the acquaintance with her boy by -means of that sweet and delicate language that we -can’t spell yet, let alone talkin’.</p> - -<p>I d’no, nor Josiah don’t, but anyway Adrian jest -seemed to live on ’em in a certain way, as if they -satisfied some deep hunger and need in his inmost -nater.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span></p> - -<p>And he would sometimes make the old-fashionedest -remarks I ever hearn, and praise himself up -jest as though he wuz somebody else. Not conceited -at all, but jest sincere and honest.</p> - -<p>One day after family prayers, Josiah had been -readin’ about the New Jerusalem, and I spoze -Adrian’s curosity wuz rousted up, and sez he, “Aunt -Samantha, where is Heaven? Is it up in the sky, or -where is it?”</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp99" id="i_012" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_012.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“Aunt Samantha, where is Heaven? Is it up in the sky?”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And I sez, “Sometimes I have thought, Adrian, -it wuz right here all round us, if we could only see -it.”</p> - -<p>“I wonder if I could find it?” sez he, and he -peered all round him in the old-fashionedest way I -ever see.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I spoze my pretty Mamma is there; I -guess she wants me dreadfully sometimes; I am a -very bright little boy—I am very agreeable.”</p> - -<p>“But,” I sez, “that hain’t pretty for you to talk -so.”</p> - -<p>“Why, Papa sez I am, and he sez I am his wise -little partner, and my Papa knows everything that -wuz ever known—he knows more than any other -man in the world.”</p> - -<p>And I sez to myself, “No, he don’t. He don’t -know enough to be jest, from all I’ve hearn of his -doin’s.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span></p> - -<p>But I didn’t wonder that Adrian thought as he -did, or Alice either, for if there wuz ever a indulgent -and lovin’ father on earth, it wuz Martin -Smith.</p> - -<p>Nothin’ wuz too good for his children. He -adored ’em, and tried to be father and mother both -to his motherless boy and girl. And money, so fur -as they wuz concerned, flowed as free as water.</p> - -<p>P. Martyn didn’t stay but a few days this time, -but left the children two weeks and come back for -’em.</p> - -<p>He stayed right to our house, and his eyesight, -so fur as the other relations wuz concerned, wuz -jest the same. He rode round considerable with -his children, and writ about five thousand letters, -and sent off and received about the same number -of letters and telegrams, and said and assured us -at the end of the three days he wuz there, that “it -wuz so sweet for him to have sech a perfect rest.”</p> - -<p>He didn’t tell us much about what wuz in the -letters, though the last day that he wuz there he got -sech a enormous batch of ’em that he daned to explain -the meanin’ of ’em to Josiah and me, for we -both had helped him to carry ’em in. Sez he, -“There is no such thing as satisfying the masses.</p> - -<p>“Now,” sez he, “I’ve built a line of trolley cars,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span> -that are the means of saving no end of time, for my -drivers, if they don’t come up to the swift schedule -time I have marked down for them, I discharge -them at once.</p> - -<p>“They are economical, much cleaner and swifter -than horses, an invaluable saving of time. They are -convenient, rapid, and cheap. Now you would -think that would satisfy them, but no; because they -run through the most populous streets of the city, -and because once in awhile an accident takes place, -what do they want? They want me to add further -to the enormous expense I have already been subjected -to, and buy some fenders to prevent accidents.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, hain’t you goin’ to?” sez I.</p> - -<p>“No,” sez he, “I am not. If I do, they will -probably want some sashay bags to hang up in the -cars, and some automatic fans to fan them with as -they ride.” But I had been a-readin’ a sight about -the deaths them swift monsters had caused, and I -sez—</p> - -<p>“Martin, life is dear, and it seems as if every -safeguard possible ort to be throwed round the -great public, between ’em and death.”</p> - -<p>“But,” sez he, “it is impudent in them to demand -anything further than what I’ve already done. -Horses were always causing accidents.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span></p> -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “when folks are in danger of -death, it makes ’em impudent. Why, Deacon Garvin -sassed the minister when he fell into the pond -at a Sunday School picnic, and the minister told -him to call on the Lord in his extremity.”</p> - -<p>He sassed him and yelled out to him, “You dum -fool, you, throw me a board!”</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_016" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_016.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"> - <p>He sassed him and yelled out, “You dum fool, you, throw me a board!”</p> - </div> -</div> - -<p>Sez I, “Dretful danger makes folks sassy.”</p> - -<p>“Well, I won’t be to the expense of getting -them,” sez he.</p> - -<p>Sez I mildly, “You told Josiah Allen and me -yesterday that you’d laid up two millions of dollars -sence you had gone into this enterprise. Now, as -a matter of justice, don’t you think that the public -who have paid you two millions of their money -have a right to demand these safeguards to life and -limb?”</p> - -<p>He waived off the question.</p> - -<p>“Why,” sez he, “in all the last year there have -not been more than fifty lives lost in our city from -these cars, and considering the hosts that have been -carried, considering the convenience, the swiftness, -the rapidity, and etcetera—what is fifty lives?”</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_018" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_018.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">It depends on whose lives they be.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “it depends on whose lives they -be. Now I know,” sez I, a-glancin’ at my pardner’s -shinin’ bald head a-risin’ up like a full harvest -moon from behind the pages of <i>The World</i>—</p> - -<p>“I know one life that if it went down in darkness<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span> -under them wheels, it would make the hull -world black and empty. It would take all the -happiness and hope and meanin’ out of this world, -and change it into a funeral gloom.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “It would darken the world for all who -love him.” And sez I, “Every one of them fifty -that have gone down under them death chariots -have left ’em who loved ’em. Hearts have ached -and broken as they have looked at the mangled -bodies and the emptiness of life faced ’em.” Sez -I, “Them rollin’ billows of blackness have swept -over the livin’ and the lovin’ every time them cruel -wheels have ground a bright human life to death.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span></p> - -<p>“They have mostly been children,” sez I, “and -think of the anguish mother hearts have endured, -and father love and pride—how it has been crushed -down under the rollin’ wheels of death.</p> - -<p>“Sometimes a father, who wuz the only prop of -a family, has gone down. How cold the world is -to ’em when the love that wropped ’em round -has been tore from ’em! Sometimes a mother—what -can take the place of mother love to the -little ones left to suffer from hunger, and nakedness, -and ignorance?”</p> - -<p>“You’re imaginative, Cousin Samantha,” said he; -but I kep’ right on onbeknown to me.</p> - -<p>“Who will care for the destitute children left -alone in the cold world with no one to care for ’em -and help ’em?”</p> - -<p>“I’ll give ’em some money,” said little Adrian, -who’d been leanin’ up aginst my knee and listenin’ -to our talk, with his big, earnest eyes fixed on -our faces.</p> - -<p>“I’ll give ’em the gold piece that papa gave me -yesterday.”</p> - -<p>He had gin him a twenty dollar gold piece, for I -see it.</p> - -<p>“I’ll give ’em all I’ve got—I’ll work for that -poor woman who lost her little boy—I’ll work for -her and help her.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span></p> - -<p>“Who’ll work for me?” sez Martin. “You’re -to be my partner, my boy; remember that. -You’re my little partner now—half of all I own -belongs to you.”</p> - -<p>“And I will give it all to them,” sez Adrian.</p> - -<p>But Martin went right on—“You are to be -president of this company when I am an old man; -you’re to work for me.”</p> - -<p>“But I’ll work for those poor people, papa,” sez -Adrian, and as he said this he looked way off -through his father’s face, as he sot by the open -window, to some distance beyend him. And his -eyes, jest the color of that June sky, looked big -and luminous.</p> - -<p>“I’ll work for them, papa,” and as he spoke a -sudden thrill, some like electricity, only more riz -up like, shot through my soul, a sudden and deep -conviction that he would work for ’em—that he -would in some way redeem the old Smith name -from the ojium attachin’ to it now as a owner of -them Herod’s Chariots and a Massacreer of Innocents. -But to resoom.</p> - -<p>All the next day Adrian kep’ talkin’ about it, -how he wuz goin’ to be his papa’s pardner, and how -he wuz a-goin’ to work for poor folks who had -lost their little children, and wanted so many -things.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span></p> - -<p>And the questions he asked me about ’em, and -about poor folks, though wearisome to the flesh, -wuz agreeable to the sperit.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin called him so much from day -to day—“My little partner,” that we all got -into the habit on’t, and called him so through the -day.</p> - -<p>And every evenin’ he would come to me and -say—“Good-night, Aunt Samantha, good-bye till -mornin’.”</p> - -<p>And I would kiss him earnest and sweet, and say -back to him, “Good-night, little pardner, till mornin’.”</p> - -<p>And after he went home, Josiah and I would -talk about him a sight, and wonder what the little -pardner wuz doin’, and how he wuz lookin’ from -day to day. And I would often go into the -parlor, where his picter stood on the top shelf of -the what-not, and stand and look dreamily at it. -There he wuz in his little black velvet suit and a -big bunch of English violets pinned on one side. -The earnest eyes would look back at me dretful -tender like and good. The mouth that held that -wonderful sweet and sort o’ curous expression, as -if he wuz thinkin’ of sunthin’ beautiful that we -didn’t know anything about, would sort o’ smile -back at me.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span></p> - -<p>And he seemed to be a-sayin’ to me, as he said -that day a-lookin’ out into the clear sky—</p> - -<p>“I’ll work for them poor people!”</p> - -<p>And I answered back to him out loud once or -twice onbeknown to me, and sez I, “I believe you -will, little pardner.”</p> - -<p>And Josiah asked me who I wuz a-talkin’ to. -He hollered out from the kitchen.</p> - -<p>And I sez, “Ahem—ahem,” and kinder coughed. -I couldn’t explain to my pardner jest how I felt, for -I didn’t know myself hardly.</p> - -<p>Wall, it run along for some time—Martin a-writin’ -to me quite often, always a-talkin’ about his -little pardner and Alice, and how they wuz a-gittin’ -along, and a-invitin’ us to visit ’em.</p> - -<p>And at last there came sech a pressin’ invitation -from Alice to come and see ’em that I had to succumb.</p> - -<p>But little, little did I ever think in my early -youth, when I ust to read about Solomon’s Temple -and Sheba’s Splendor, and sing about Pleasures and -Palaces, that I should ever enter in and partake of -’em.</p> - -<p>Why, the house that Martin lived in wuz a sight, -a sight—big as the meetin’-housen at Jonesville -and Loontown both put together, and ornamented -with jest so many cubits of glory one way, and jest -so many cubits of grandeur another. Wall, it wuz<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span> -sunthin’ I never expected to see on earth, and in -another sphere I never sot my mind on seein’ carpets -that your feet sunk down into as they would -in a bed of moss in a cedar swamp, and lofty rooms -with stained-glass winders and sech gildin’s and ornaments -overhead, and furniture sech as I never see, -and statutes a-lookin’ pale with joy, to see the -lovely picters that wuz acrost the room from ’em; -and more’n twenty servants of different sorts and -grades.</p> - -<p>Why, actually, Josiah and I seemed as much out -of place in that seen of grandeur as two hemlock -logs with the bark on ’em at a fashionable church -weddin’.</p> - -<p>And nothin’ but the pure love I felt for them -children, and their pure love for me, made me -willin’ to stay there a minute.</p> - -<p>Martin wuz good to us, and dretful glad to have -us there to all human appearance; but Alice and -Adrian loved us.</p> - -<p>And I hadn’t been there more’n a few days before -I see one reason why Alice had writ me so earnest -to come—she wuz in deep trouble, she wuz in love, -deep in love with a young lawyer, one who writ for -the newspapers, too—</p> - -<p>A man who had the courage<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span> of his convictions, -and had writ several articles about the sufferin’s -of the poor and the onjustice of rich men. And -amongst the rest he had writ some cuttin’ but jest -articles about the massacreein’ of children by them -trolley cars, and so had got Martin’s everlastin’ displeasure -and hatred.</p> - -<p>The young man, I found out, wuz as good as they -make anywhere; a noble-lookin’ young feller, too, -so I hearn.</p> - -<p>Even Martin couldn’t say a word aginst him, -for, in the cause of Duty and Alice, I tackled him -on the subject. Sez I, “Hain’t he honest and manly -and upright?”</p> - -<p>And he had to admit that he wuz, that he hadn’t -a vice or bad habit, and wuz smart and enterprisin’.</p> - -<p>I held him right there with my eye till I got an -answer.</p> - -<p>“But he is a fool,” sez he.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Fools don’t generally write sech good -sense, Martin.”</p> - -<p>Sez he wrathfully, “I knew your opinions—I expected -you’d uphold him in his ungrateful folly.</p> - -<p>“But he has lost Alice by it,” sez he; “for I -never will give my consent to have him marry her.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Then you had never ort to let him come -here and have the chance to win her heart, and now -break it, for,” sez I, “you encouraged him at first, -Martin.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span></p> - -<p>“I know I did,” sez he—“I thought I had found -one honest man, and I had decided on giving all -my business into his hands. It would have been -the making of him,” sez he; “but he has only -himself to blame, for if he had kept still he would -have married Alice, but now he shall not.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Alice thinks jest as he duz.”</p> - -<p>“What do women know about business?” he -snapped out, enough to take my head off.</p> - -<p>“If wimmen don’t know anything about bizness, -Martin, I should think you’d be glad to -know, in case you left Alice, that she and her immense -fortune wuz in the hands of an honest man.</p> - -<p>“And I want you to consent to this marriage,” -sez I, “in a suitable time—when Alice gits old -enough.”</p> - -<p>“I won’t consent to it!” sez he—“the writer of -them confounded papers never shall marry my -daughter.”</p> - -<p>“Why,” sez I, “there’s nothin’ harsh in the articles.” -Sez I, “They’re only a strong appeal to the -pity and justice of ’em who are responsible for all -this danger and horrow!”</p> - -<p>“Well,” sez he, “I’ve made up mind, and I never -change it.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “I d’no<span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span> whether you will or not.” Sez -I, “This is a strange world, Martin, and folks -are made to change their minds sometimes onbeknown -to ’em.”</p> - -<p>Wall, I didn’t stay more’n several days after -this, when I returned to the peaceful precincts of -Jonesville and my (sometimes) devoted pardner, -and things resoomed their usual course.</p> - -<p>But every few days I got communications from -Martin’s folks. Alice writ to me sweet letters of -affection, wherein I could read between the lines a -sad background of Hope deferred and a achin’ -heart.</p> - -<p>And Adrian writ long letters to me, where the -spellin’ left much to be desired, but the good feelin’ -and love and confidence in ’em wuz all the most -exactin’ could ask for.</p> - -<p>And occasionally Martin would write a short line -of a sort of hurried, patronizin’ affection, and the -writin’ looked so much like ducks’ tracts that it -seemed as if our old drake would have owned up -to ’em in a law suit.</p> - -<p>But Josiah and me would put on our strongest -specks, and take the letter between us, and hold it -in every light, and make out the heft on it.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_027" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_027.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Josiah and me put on our strongest specks.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Till at last, one notable day, long to be remembered, -there come a letter in Martin’s awful chirography. -And when we had studied out its contents, -we looked at each other in a astounded astonishment<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span> -and a sort of or.</p> - -<p>“Would I go to Europe with him and his children -as his guest?” He thought Alice seemed to be a -little delicate, and mebby the trip would do her -good, and he also thought she needed the company -of some good, practical woman to see to her, and -mother her a little.</p> - -<p>That last sentence tugged at my heart strings.</p> - -<p>But my answer went back by next mail—</p> - -<p>“I wuz afraid of the ocean, and couldn’t leave -Josiah.”</p> - -<p>The answer come back by telegraph—</p> - -<p>“The ocean wuz safer than land, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span> take Josiah -along, too. He expected he would go.”</p> - -<p>Then I writ back—“I never had been drownded -on dry land, and didn’t believe I should be, and -Josiah didn’t feel as though he could leave the -farm.”</p> - -<p>Then Martin telegrafted to Thomas J.—</p> - -<p>“Arrange matters for father and mother to take -trip. Send bill to me. Alice needs their care. Her -health and happiness depend on it.”</p> - -<p>So he got Thomas Jefferson on his side. Thomas -J. and Maggie loved Alice like a sister. But there -wuzn’t any bill to send to Martin, for Thomas J. -pinted out the facts that Ury could move right -into the house and take care of everything. And -sez he, “The trip and the rest will do you both -good.”</p> - -<p>“But the danger,” sez I.</p> - -<p>And he said, jest like Martin—“Less danger than -the land, better rates of insurance given,” etc., etc., -etc.</p> - -<p>And Maggie put in too, and Josiah begun to -kinder want to go.</p> - -<p>And we wavered back and forth, until a long letter -from Alice, beggin’ me and her Uncle Josiah to -go with her to take care of her, tottled the balance -over on the side of Europe.</p> - -<p>And Josiah and I began to make<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span> preperations for -a trip abroad.</p> - -<p>Oh my heart! think on’t!</p> - -<p>I announced our decision to Martin in a letter of -9 pages of foolscap—Josiah writ half of it—describin’ -our doubts and delays and our final reasons for -decision.</p> - -<p>And he telegrafted back—</p> - -<p>“All right—start 14th. Send bill of expense to -me.”</p> - -<p>But there wuzn’t no bill sent, as I said—no, indeed!</p> - -<p>I guess we didn’t want nobody to buy clothes for -us—no, indeed!</p> - -<p>As for the travellin’ expenses of the trip, seein’ -they thought we wuz necessaries to their comfort, -and seein’ he’d invited us, and seein’ his -income wuz about ten thousand dollars an hour, -why we laid out to let him have his way in -that.</p> - -<p>It wuzn’t nothin’ that we’d ever thought on, and -then, as I told Josiah, we could even it up some -by invitin’ the children to stay all summer with us -next year.</p> - -<p>So the die wuz cast down, and the cloth wuz -soon bought for Josiah’s new European shirts, and -my own foreign nightcap and nightgown.</p> - -<p>As for my clothes, by Maggie’s advice <span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span>and assistance, -aided by our two practical common senses, -the work wuz soon completed.</p> - -<p>Maggie said that I must dress better than I usually -did on my towers, for the sake of pleasin’ Martin -and Alice. And she and Thomas J. made me a -present of a good black silk dress, and she see to -makin’ it, with one plain waist for common wear, -and one dressy waist, very handsome, with black -jet trimmin’ on it for my best.</p> - -<p>A good gray alpacky travellin’ dress, some the -color of dust, with a bunnet of the same color, and -a good brown lawn for hot days wuz enough, and -didn’t take up much room. Plenty of good underclothes -and a wool wrapper for the steamer completed -my trossow.</p> - -<p>Thomas J. see to it that his Pa had a good-lookin’ -suit of black clothes for his best, and a suit of -pepper and salt for every day.</p> - -<p>I also made him 2 new flannel nightcaps. And -I myself had two new nightcaps made. In makin’ -’em, I departed from my usual fashion of sheep’s-head -nightcaps, thinkin’ in case of a panick at sea, -and the glare of publicity a-bein’ throwed onto ’em, -a modified sheep’s head would appear better than -clear sheep.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp60" id="i_031" style="max-width: 20em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_031.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>It wuz very dressy when it wuz done.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>They wuz gathered slightly in the crown, and had -some very nice egin’ -on ’em—7 cents per<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span> -yard at hullsail—7 and -½ retail.</p> - -<p>It wuz good lace.</p> - -<p>They wuz very becomin’ -to my style.</p> - -<p>I also made Josiah -a handsome dressin’-gown -out of a piece -of rep goods I had in -the house. I had laid -out to cover a lounge -with it, but I thought -under these peculiar -circumstances Josiah -needed it more’n the lounge did, and so I made it -up for him. I made a cord with two tossels -to tie it with. I twisted the cord out of good -red and black woosted and made the tossels of -the same.</p> - -<p>It wuz very dressy when it wuz done. And he -would have worn it out visitin’ if I had encouraged -him in it. He wuz highly delighted and tickled -with it.</p> - -<p>But I tutored him that it wuz only to wear in his -state-room, and in case of a panick on deck.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER II.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">A HEATHEN MISSIONARY.</p> - -<p>Wall, I wuz a-settin’ in my clean settin’-room -on a calm twilight, engaged in completin’ my preperations—in -fact, I wuz jest a-puttin’ the finishin’ -touches on one of Josiah’s nightcaps and mine.</p> - -<p>I put cat stitch round the front of hisen, a sort -of a dark red cat.</p> - -<p>When all to once I hearn a knock at the west -door. I had thought as I wuz a-settin’ a-sewin’ -what a beautiful sunset it wuz. The west jest -glowed with light that streamed over and lit up the -hull sky. All wuz calm in the east, and a big -moon wuz jest risin’ from the back of Balcom’s -Hill. It wuz shaped a good deal like a boat, and I -laid down my sheep’s-head nightcap and set still -and watched it, as it seemed moored off behind the -evergreens that stood tall and silent and dark, -as if to guard Jonesville and the world aginst the -gold boat that wuz a-sailin’ in from some onknown -harbor. But it come on stiddy, and as if it had -to come.</p> - -<p>I felt queer.</p> - -<p>And jest at that<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span> minute I hearn the knock at the -west door.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp54" id="i_034" style="max-width: 20em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_034.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>A dark figger that riz up like a strange -picter aginst the sunset.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And I went and opened it, and as I did the west -wuz flamin’ so with light that it most blinded me at -first; but when I got my eyesight agin I see -a-standin’ between me and that light a dark figger -that riz up like a strange picter aginst the sunset.</p> - -<p>His back wuz to the light, and his face wuz in -the shadder, but I could see that it wuz dark -and eager, with glowin’ eyes that seemed to light -up his dark features, some as the stars light up -the sky.</p> - -<p>And he wuz dressed in a strange garb, sech as I -never see before, only to the World’s Fair. Yes, -in that singular moment I see the value of travel. -It give me sech a turn that if I hadn’t had the advantage -of seein’ jest such costooms at that place, -I should most probble have swooned away right -on my own doorstep.</p> - -<p>He wuz dressed in a long, loose gown of some -dark material, and had a white turban on his head. -Who he wuz or where he come from was a mystery -to me.</p> - -<p>But I felt it wuz safe anyway to say, “Good-evenin’,” -whoever he wuz or wherever he came -from; he couldn’t object to that.</p> - -<p>So consequently I said it—not a-knowin’ but he -would address me back in Hindoo, or Sanskrit, or -Greek, or sunthin’ else paganish and queer.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span></p> - -<p>But he didn’t; he spoke jest as well as my -Thomas Jefferson could, and when I say that, I -say enough, -full enough -for anybody, -only his voice -had a little -bit of a foreign -axent to -it, that put -me in mind -some of the -strange odor -of Maggie’s -sandal-wood -fan, sunthin’ -that is inherient -and stays -in it, though -it is owned -in America, -and has Jonesville wind in it—good, strong wind, -as good as my turkey feather fan ever had.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “Good-evening, madam. Do I address -Josiah Allen’s wife?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “You do.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span></p> - -<p>Sez he, “Pardon this intrusion. I come on particular -business.”</p> - -<p>Whereupon I asked him to come in, and sot a -chair for him.</p> - -<p>I didn’t know whether to ask him to lay off his -things or not, not a-seein’ anything only the dress -he had on, and not knowin’ what the state of his -clothes wuz.</p> - -<p>And after a minute’s reflection on it, I dassent -venter.</p> - -<p>So I simply sot him a chair and asked him to set.</p> - -<p>He bowed dretful polite, and thanked me, and -sot.</p> - -<p>Then there wuz a slight pause ensued and follered -on. I wuz some embarrassed, not knowin’ -what subject to introduce.</p> - -<p>Deacon Bobbett had lost his best heifer that day, -and most all Jonesville wuz a-lookin’ for it, but I -didn’t know whether it would interest him or not.</p> - -<p>And Sally Garvin had a young babe. A paper -of catnip even then reposed on the kitchen table -a-waitin’ until her husband come back to send it, -but I didn’t know whether that subject would be -proper to branch out on to a man.</p> - -<p>So I sot demute for as much as half a minute.</p> - -<p>And before I could collect myself together and -break out in conversation, he sez in that deep, soft, -musical voice of hisen—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span></p> - -<p>“Madam, I have come on a strange errand.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, in a encouragin’ voice, “I am -used to strange errents—yes, indeed, I am! Why,” -sez I, “this very day a woman writ to me from -Minnesota for money to fence in a door-yard, and,” -sez I, “Sime Bentley wuz over bright and early -this mornin’ to borrer a settin’ hen. He had plenty -of eggs, but no setters.”</p> - -<p>Sez I in a encouragin’ axent, for I couldn’t help -likin’ the creeter, “I am used to ’em—don’t be -afraid.”</p> - -<p>I didn’t know but he wuz after my nightgown -pattern, and I looked clost at his garb; but I see -that it wuz fur fuller than mine and sot different. -The long folds hung with a dignity and grace that -my best mull nightgown never had, and if it wuz -so, I wuz a-goin’ to tell him honorable that his pattern -went fur ahead of mine in grandeur.</p> - -<p>And then, thinks I, mebby he is a-goin’ to beg -for money for a meetin’-house steeple or sunthin’ in -Hindoostan, and I wuz jest a-makin’ up my mind -to tell him that we hadn’t yet quite paid for the -paint that ornamented ourn. And I wuz a-layin’ -out to bring in some Bible and say, “Charity begun -on our own steeple.”</p> - -<p>But jest as I wuz a-thinkin’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span> this he spoke up in -that melodious voice, that somehow put me in mind -of palm trees a-risin’ up aginst a blue-black sky, -and pagodas, and oasises, and things. Sez he, -“Will you allow me to tell you a little of my -history?”</p> - -<p>I sez, “Yes, indeed! I am jest through with my -work.” Sez I frankly, “I have been finishin’ some -nightcaps for my pardner, and I sot the last stitch -to ’em as you come in. I’d love to set still and hear -you tell it.”</p> - -<p>So I sot down in the big arm-chair and folded -my arms in a almost luxurious foldin’, and listened.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “My name is Al Faizi, and I am come -from a country far away.” And he waved his hand -towards the east.</p> - -<p>Instinctively I follered his gester, and his eyes, -and I see that the gold boat of the moon had come -round the pint, and wuz a-sailin’ up swift into the -clear sky. But a big star shone there, it stood -there motionless, as he went on.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I have always been a learner, a seeker -after truth. When a small boy I lived with my -uncle, who was a learned man, and his wife, who was -an Englishwoman. From her I learned your language. -I loved to study; she had many books. -She was the daughter of a missionary, who died and -left her alone in that strange land. My uncle was -a convert to her faith. She married him and was<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span> -happy. She had many books that belonged to her -father; he was a good man and very learned; he -did my people much good while he lived with -them.</p> - -<p>“I learned from those books many things that -our own wise men never taught me, and from them -I got a great craving to see this land. I learned -from these books and my aunt’s teachings taught -me when I was so young that truth permeated my -being and filled my heart, that this land was the -country favored by God—this land so holy, that it -sent missionaries to teach my people. Then I went -to a school taught by English teachers, but always -I searched for truth—I search for God in mosque -and in temple. These books said God is here in -this land. So I come. Many of my people come -to this great Fair, I come also with them.</p> - -<p>“But always I seek the great spirit of God I -came here to find. I thought truth and justice -would fill your temples, and your homes, and all -your great cities.</p> - -<p>“I come, I watch for this Great Light—I listened -for the Great Voice, I see strange things, but -I say nothing, I only think, but I get more and -more perplexed. I ask many people to show me -the temple where God is, to show me the great -mosque where Truth and Right dwell, and the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span> -people are blessed by their white shining light, for -I thought He would be in all the customs and -ways of this wise people, so good that they instruct -all the rest of the world. I come to learn, to worship, -but I see such strange things, such strange -customs. I see cruelties practised, such as my own -people would not think of doing. I keep silent, I -only think—think much. But more and more -I wonder, and grow sad.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_039" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_039.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">I don’t love to hear that; that sounds bad.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“I ask many men, preachers, teachers, to show -me the place where God is, the great palace -where truth dwells. They take me to many places, -but I do not find the great spirit of Love <span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span>I seek -for. I find in your big temples altars built up to -strange gods.”</p> - -<p>Sez I mildly, “I don’t love to hear that; that -sounds bad. I can take you to one meetin’-house,” -sez I, “where we don’t have no Dagon nor snub-nosed -idols to worship,” sez I.</p> - -<p>But even as I spoke my conscience reproved me; -for wuz there not settin’ in the highest place in that -meetin’-house a rich man who got all his money by -sellin’ stuff that made brutes of his neighbors?</p> - -<p>What wuz we all a-lookin’ up to, minister and -people, but a gold beast! What wuz that man’s -idol but Mammon!</p> - -<p>And then didn’t I remember how the hull meetin’-house -had turned aginst Irene Filkins, who went -astray when she wuz nothin’ but a little girl, a -motherless little girl, too?</p> - -<p>Where wuz the great sperit of Love and Charity -that said—“Neither do I condemn thee; go and -sin no more”? Wuz God there?</p> - -<p>Didn’t I remember that in this very meetin’-house -they got up a fair to help raise money for some -charity connected with it, and one of the little girls -kicked higher than any Bowery girl? Wuz it -a-startin’ that child on the broad road that takes -hold on death? Wuz we worshippin’ a idol of Expediency—doing -evil that good might come?</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span></p> - -<p>There wuz poor ones in that very meetin’-house, -achin’ hearts sufferin’ for food and clothin’ almost, and -rich, comfortable ones who went by on the other side -and sot in their places and prayed for the poor, with -their cold forms and hungry eyes watchin’ ’em vainly -as they prayed, hopin’ for the help they did not get.</p> - -<p>Wuz we hyppocrites? Did we bow at the altar -of selfishness?</p> - -<p>Truly no Eastern idol wuz any more snub-nosed -and ugly than this one.</p> - -<p>I wuz overcome with horrow when I thought it -all over, and sez I—“I guess I won’t take you there -right away; we’ll think on’t a spell first.”</p> - -<p>For I happened to think, too, that our good, plain -old preacher, Elder Minkley, wuzn’t a-goin’ to -preach there Sunday, anyway, but a famous sensational -preacher, that some of the rich members -wanted to call. Yes, many hed turned away from -the good gospel sermons of that man of God, Elder -Minkley, and wanted a change.</p> - -<p>Wuz it a windy, sensational God set up in our -pulpit? I felt guilty as a dog, for I too had criticised -that good old Elder’s plain speakin’.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi had sot me to thinkin’, and while I wuz -a-meditatin’ his calm voice went on—</p> - -<p>“I came to a city not far away; there I saw some<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span> -words you had written. I felt that you, too, desired -the truth. I have come to ask you if you have -found it—if you have found in this land the place -where Love and Justice reign, and to ask you -where it is, that I, too, may worship there, and teach -the truth to my people.”</p> - -<p>I wuz overcome by his simple words, and I bust -out onbeknown to me—</p> - -<p>“I hain’t found it.” Sez I, and onconsciously -I used the words of another—“‘We are all poor -creeters,’ but we try to worship the true God—we -try to follow the teachin’s of Him who loved us, -and give His life to us.”</p> - -<p>“The wise man who lived in Galilee and taught -the people?” sez he.</p> - -<p>“No,” sez I, “not the wise man, but the Divine -One—the God who left His throne and dwelt with -us awhile in the form of the human. We try to -foller His teachings—a good deal of the time we -do,” sez I, honestly and sadly.</p> - -<p>For more and more this strange creeter’s words -sunk into my heart, and made me feel queer—queer -as a dog.</p> - -<p>“I have read His words. I loved Him when a -boy, I love Him still. I go into your great -churches sacred to His name. I find in one grand -church they say He is there alone, and not in any -other. I go into another, just as great, and they<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span> -say He is there, and not in the one I first visited; -and then I go to another, and another, and yet -another.</p> - -<p>“All have different ways and beliefs. All say -God is here within the narrow walls of this church, -and not in the others. Oh! I get so confused, I -know not what to do. How can I, a poor stranger, -trace His footsteps through all these conflicting -creeds? I grow sad, and my heart fills with doubt -and darkness. Well I remember His words that I -had pondered in my heart when a boy—‘That they -who loved Him should bear the cross and follow -Him,’ and love and care for His poor. In all these -great, beautiful churches I hear sweet music. In -some I see grand pictures, and note the incense -floating up toward the Heavens; in some I see high -vaulted roofs, and the light in many glowing colors -falls on the bowed forms of the worshippers. I hear -holy words, the voice of prayer, but I see no -crosses borne, and all are rich and grand. I go -down in the low places. I see the poor toiling on -unpitied and uncared for. I see these rich people -worship in the churches one day, and pray—‘Grant -us mercy as we are merciful to others.’</p> - -<p>“And then the next day they put burdens on the -poor, so hard that they can hardly bear them, the -poor, starving, dying, herded together like animals,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span> -in wretched places unfit for dumb creatures.</p> - -<p>“And ever the rich despise the poor, and the -poor curse the rich—both bitter against each other, -even unto death.</p> - -<p>“I find no God of Love in this.</p> - -<p>“I go into your great halls where laws are made—I -see the wise men making laws to bind the weak -and tempted with iron chains—laws to help bad -men lead lives of impurity—laws to make legal -crimes that your Holy Book says renders one forever -unfit for Heaven. I find no God of Justice in -this.”</p> - -<p>“No,” sez I, “He hain’t nigh ’em, and never -wuz!”</p> - -<p>“Well then,” sez he, “why do they not find out -the way of truth themselves before they try to -teach other people?”</p> - -<p>“The land knows!” sez I; “I don’t.”</p> - -<p>“Some of your teachers do much good,” sez he; -“they are good, and teach some of my people good -doctrines. But why ever are they permitted by -your government to bring ways and habits into our -land that cover it with ruin?</p> - -<p>“I was walking once with my own relation, Hadijah, -unconverted, and we found one of our people -lying drunken by the wayside, with bottles of American -whiskey lying by his side. ‘Boston’ was marked -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span> -on them, a city, I find, that considers itself the centre -of goodness and lofty thought. The bottles were -empty. Hadijah says to me—‘That man is a -Christian.’</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp53" id="i_045" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_045.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"> - <p>“<span class="smcap">‘That man is a Christian.’ ‘How do you know?’ ‘Because -he is drunk.’</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“I said—‘No, I think not.’</p> - -<p>“‘Yes he is,’ said he.</p> - -<p>“‘How do you know it?’ said I.</p> - -<p>“‘Because he is drunk.’ Hadijah, not being yet -converted, and judging from appearances and from -the evidences of his eyesight, associated the ideas -and thought that in some way drunkenness was an -evidence of Christianity. That belief is largely -shared by all heathen people.</p> - -<p>“And then I open your Holy Book and find it -written, ‘No drunkard shall inherit eternal life,’ -and I say to myself, What does it mean that these -holy people over the seas, who try so hard to convert -us, should send whiskey, and Bibles, and missionaries -to us all packed in one great ship?”</p> - -<p>Sez I—“The nation don’t mean to do it.” Sez I, -“It don’t want to do any sech harm.”</p> - -<p>“But I hear of the great power of this nation, -could it not prevent it? If it could not prevent -it, it must be a weak government indeed. And if -truly this great country is so weak and so wicked as -to set snares for the heathens—trying to lead them -into paths that end in eternal ruin—I think why not<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span> -keep their missionaries in their own land? They -must need them even more than we do.”</p> - -<p>Sez I—“Don’t talk so, poor creeter, don’t talk so. -Missionaries go out to your land fired with the -deathless zeal to save souls—to bring the knowledge -of the Christ to all the world.”</p> - -<p>“But if they bring the knowledge in the way I -speak of, so the heathen honestly believes drunkenness -is the sign of Christianity, is it not making a -mockery of what they profess to teach?”</p> - -<p>I wuz dumbfoundered. I didn’t know how to -frame a reply, and so I sot onframed, as you may -say.</p> - -<p>“I heard the missionaries say, and I read it in -your Holy Book, that the liar shall have his portion -in the lake that burns forever. The same -curses are on them that steal and on them that -commit adultery.</p> - -<p>“I thought the country that sends these missionaries, -rebuking these sins so sharply—I -thought their country must be pure and peaceable -and holy in its ways. I come here, as I say, seeking -the Great Light to guide me. I come here to hear -the Great Voice, so I could go back and carry its -teachings to our own people. For I thought there -must be some mistake, and that the lessons failed in -some way to carry the idea of your great government.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</span> -So I come, I study; and I find that not -only was your great government willing to have my -poor people enslaved by the drink habit, but it was -a partaker in it. It sent over the accursed whiskey -and brandy and took a portion of the pay—a portion -of the money spent by my poor people for -making themselves unfit for earth, and shutting -them forever out of Heaven.</p> - -<p>“Again, this law that ‘Thou shalt not commit -adultery,’ that stands out so plain in the Holy Book, -that divorce is only permitted for this one cause, I -find this great government, which by its laws breaks -even the holy marriage bonds by the committing of -this sin—I find that this government makes this sin -easy and convenient to commit. It grants licenses -to make it lawful and right.</p> - -<p>“When I get here and study I see such strange -things. Forevermore I wonder, and forevermore -I say—Why are not missionaries sent to this people, -who do such things?</p> - -<p>“And I, even I, so weak as I am and so ignorant, -but fired as I am by the love of Christ Jesus—I say -to myself, ‘I will tell this people of their sins. I -will try to bring them to a knowledge of the pure -and holy religion of Christ.’”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</span></p> -<p>“You come as a missionary, then?” sez I,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span> -a-bustin’ out onbeknown to me. “Often and often -I have wanted a heathen to come over and try to -convert Uncle Sam—poor old creeter, a-wadin’ in -sin up to his old knee jints and over ’em,” sez I.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp57" id="i_049" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_049.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">Uncle Sam a-wadin’ in sin up to his old knee jints.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“Uncle Sam?” sez he; “I know him not. I -meant your great people; I do not speak of one -alone.”</p> - -<p>“I know,” sez I; “that is what we call our -Goverment when we are on intimate terms with -it.”</p> - -<p>“And,” sez I, “you little know what that old -man has been through. He wants to do right—he -honestly duz; but you know jest how it is—how -mistaken counsellors darken wisdom and confound -jedgment.”</p> - -<p>But the sweet, melodious voice went on—</p> - -<p>“Your missionaries preach loud to my people -against the sins of stealing and gambling.</p> - -<p>“But I find that in this country great places -are fitted up for gambling and theft.”</p> - -<p>Truly he spoke plain, but then I d’no as I could -blame him.</p> - -<p>“In these places of theft and gambling, called -your stock exchanges, I find that you have people -called brokers, and some wild animals called bulls -and bears, though for what purpose they are kept -I know not, unless it is that they are trained for -the Arena. I know not yet all your customs.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span></p> - -<p>“But this I know, that your brokers gamble and -steal from the people—sometimes millions in one -day. Which money, taken from the common -people all over this country, is divided by these -brokers amongst a few rich men. Perhaps then the -game of bulls and bears, fighting each other for -their amusement, begins. I know not yet all your -ways.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp54" id="i_052" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_052.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>THE GAME OF BULLS AND BEARS.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“But I know that in one day five million -bushels of wheat were bought and sold when there -was no wheat in sight—when even during that whole -year the crop amounted to only two hundred and -eighty millions. There were more than two million, -two hundred thousand bushels of wheat bought -and paid for that never grew—that were not ever in -the world.</p> - -<p>“As I saw this, oh! how my heart burned to -teach this poor sinful people the morality that our -own people enjoy.</p> - -<p>“For never were there such sins committed in -our country.</p> - -<p>“I find your rich men controlling the market—holding -back the bread that the poor hungered and -starved for, putting burdens on them more grievous -than they could bear. These rich men, sitting -with their soft, white hands, and forms that never -ached with labor, putting such high prices on -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span>grain and corn that the poor could not buy to -eat—these rich men prayed in the morning (for -they often go through the forms of the holy -religion)—they prayed, ‘Give us this day our -daily bread,’ and then made it their first business -to keep people from having that prayer answered -to them.</p> - -<p>“They prayed, ‘Lead us not into temptation,’ -and then deliberately made circumstances that they -knew would lead countless poor into temptation—temptation -of theft—temptation of selling Purity -and Morality for bread to sustain life.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, a-groanin’ out loud and a-sithin’ frequent—</p> - -<p>“I can’t bear to hear sech talk, it kills me almost; -and,” sez I honestly, “there is so much truth -in it that it cuts me like a knife.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, a-goin’ on, not mindin’ my words—“I -felt that I must warn this people of its sins. I -must tell them of what was done once in one of -our own countries,” sez he, a-wavin’ his hand in a -impressive gester towards our east door—</p> - -<p>“In one of our countries the authorities learned -that stock exchanges were being formed at Osaka, -Yokohama, and Koba.</p> - -<p>“The police, all wearing disguises, went at once -to the exchanges and mingled with the crowd. -When all was ready a sign was given, the police<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</span> -took possession of the exchanges and all the books -and papers, the doors were locked and the prisoners -secured. Over seven hundred were put in prison, -the offence being put down—‘Speculation in margins.’</p> - -<p>“I yearn to tell this great people of the way of -our countries, so that they may follow them.”</p> - -<p>“A heathen a-comin’ here as a missionary!” sez -I, a-thinkin’ out loud, onbeknown to me. “Wall, it -is all right.” Sez I, “It’s jest what the country -needs.”</p> - -<p>But before I could say anythin’ further, at that -very minute my beloved pardner come in.</p> - -<p>He paused with a look of utter amazement. He -stood motionless and held complete silence and two -pails of milk.</p> - -<p>But I advanced onwards and relieved him of his -embarrassment and one pail of milk, and introduced -Al Faizi. Al Faizi riz up to once and made -a deep bow, almost to the floor; but my poor Josiah, -with a look of bewilderment pitiful to witness, -and after standin’ for a brief time and not speakin’ -a word, sez he—</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_055" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_055.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Al Faizi made a deep bow, almost to the floor.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“I guess, Samantha, I will go out to the sink -and wash my hands.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</span></p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span></p> -<p>Truly, it wuz enough to surprise any man, to -leave a pardner with no companion but a sheep’s-head -nightcap, partly finished, and come back in -a few minutes and see her a-keepin’ company with -a heathen, clothed in a long robe and turban.</p> - -<p>Wall, Josiah asked me out into the kitchen for -a explanation, which I gin to him with a few -words and a clean towel, and then sez I—“We -must ask him to stay all night.”</p> - -<p>And he sez, “I d’no what we want of that -strange-lookin’ creeter a-hangin’ round here.”</p> - -<p>And I sez, “I believe he is sent by Heaven to -instruct us heathens.”</p> - -<p>And Josiah said that if he wuz sent from -Heaven he would most probble have wings.</p> - -<p>He didn’t want him to stay, I could see that, and -he spoke as if he wuz on intimate terms with angels, -a perfect conoozer in ’em.</p> - -<p>But I sez, “Not all of Heaven’s angels have -wings, Josiah Allen, not yet; but,” sez I, “they -are probble a-growin’ the snowy feathers on ’em -onbeknown to ’em.”</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER III.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">OFF INTO SIDE PATHS.</p> - -<p>Wall, the upshot of the matter wuz Al Faizi -stayed right there for weeks. He seemed to have -plenty of money, and I d’no what arrangement he -and Josiah did make about his board, but I know -that Josiah acted after that interview with him in -the back yard real clever to him, and didn’t say a -word more aginst the idee of his not bein’ there.</p> - -<p>(Josiah is clost.)</p> - -<p>As for me, I would have scorned to have took a -cent from him, feelin’ that I got more’n my pay out -of his noble but strange conversation.</p> - -<p>But Josiah is the head of the family (or he calls -himself so).</p> - -<p>And mebby he is some of the time.</p> - -<p>But suffice it to say, Al Faizi jest stayed and -made it his home with us, and peered round, and -took journeys, and tried to find out things about -our laws and customs.</p> - -<p>Thomas Jefferson loved to talk with him the -best that ever wuz. And Al Faizi would make -excursions to different places round, a-walkin’ mostly, -a-seein’ how the people lived, and a-watchin’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span> -their manners and customs, and in writin’ down -lots of things in some books he had with him, -takin’ notes, I spozed, and learnin’ all he could. -One book that he used to carry round with him -and make notes in wuz as queer a lookin’ book as -I ever see.</p> - -<p>With sunthin’ on the cover that looked some like -a cross and some like a star.</p> - -<p>There wuz some precious stuns on it that flashed. -If it wuz held up in some lights it looked like a -cross, and then agin the light would fall on’t and -make it look like a star. And the gleamin’ stuns -would sparkle and flash out sometimes like a sharp -sword, and anon soft, like a lambient light.</p> - -<p>It wuz a queer-lookin’ book; and he said, when I -atted him about it, that he brought it from a -country fur away.</p> - -<p>And agin he made that gester towards the East, -that might mean Loontown, and might mean Ingy -and Hindoosten—and sech.</p> - -<p>After that first talk with me, in which he seemed -to open his heart, and tell what wuz in his mind, as -you may say, about our country, he didn’t seem to -talk so very much.</p> - -<p>He seemed to be one of the kind who do up -their talkin’ all to one time, as it were, and git -through with it.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</span></p> - -<p>Of course he asked questions a sight, for he -seemed to want to find out all he could. And he -would anon or oftener make a remark, but to talk -diffuse and at length, he hardly ever did. But he -took down lots of notes in that little book, for I -see him.</p> - -<p>I enjoyed havin’ him there dretful well, and done -well by him in cookin’, etcetery and etcetery.</p> - -<p>But the excitement when he first walked into the -Jonesville meetin’-house with Josiah and me wuz -nearly rampant. I felt queer and kinder sheepish, -to be walkin’ out with a man with a long dress, and -turban on, and sandals. And I kinder meached along, -and wuz glad to git to our pew and set down as -quick as I could. But Josiah looked round him -with a dignified and almost supercilious mean. He -felt hauty, and acted so, to think that we had a -heathen with us and that the other members of the -meetin’-house didn’t have one.</p> - -<p>But if I felt meachin’ over one heathen, or, that is, -if I felt embarrassed a-showin’ him off before the -bretheren and sistern, what would I felt if Josiah had -had his way about comin’ to meetin’ that day?</p> - -<p>Little did them bretheren and sistern know what -I’d been through that mornin’.</p> - -<p>Josiah wore his gay dressin’-gown<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</span> down to breakfast, -which I bore well, although it wuz strange—strange -to have two men with dresses on a-settin’ -on each side of me to the table—I who had always -been ust to plain vests and pantaloons and coats -on the more opposite sex.</p> - -<p>But I bore up under it well, and didn’t say nothin’ -aginst it, and poured out the coffee and passed the -buckwheat cakes and briled chicken and etc. with a -calm face.</p> - -<p>But when church-time come, and Ury brought -the mair and democrat up to the door, and I got up -on to the back seat, when I turned and see Josiah -Allen come out with that rep dressin’-gown on, -trimmed with bright red, and them bright tossels -a-hangin’ down in front, and a plug hat on, you -could have knocked me down with a pin feather.</p> - -<p>And sez I sternly, “What duz this mean, Josiah -Allen?”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I am a-goin’ to wear this to meetin’, Samantha.”</p> - -<p>“To meetin’?” sez I almost mekanically.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he; “I am a-doin’ it out of compliments -to Fazer; he would feel queer to be the only -man there with a dress on, and so I thought I would -keep him company; and,” sez he, a-fingerin’ the tossels -lovin’ly, “this costoom is very dressy and becomin’ -to me, and I’d jest as leave as not let old -Bobbett and Deacon Garvin see me appearin’ in it,”<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</span> -sez he.</p> - -<p>“Do you go and take that off this minute, Josiah -Allen! Why, they’d call you a idiot and as crazy as -a loon!”</p> - -<p>Sez he, a-puttin’ his right foot forward and standin’ -braced up on it, sez he, “I shall wear this dress -to meetin’ to-day!”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “You won’t wear it, Josiah Allen!”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “You know you are always lecturin’ me -on bein’ polite. You know you told me a story -about a woman who -broke a china teacup -a purpose because one -of her visitors happened -to break hern. -You praised her up to -me; and now I am -actin’ out of almost pure -politeness, and you -want to break it up, but -you can’t,” sez he, and -he proceeded to git into -the democrat.</p> - -<p>Ury wuz a-standin’ -with his hands on his -sides, convulsed with laughter, and even the mair -seemed to recognize sunthin’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span> strange, for she -whinnered loudly.</p> - -<p>Sez I in frigid axents, “Even the old mair is a -whinnerin’, she is so disgusted with your doin’s, -Josiah Allen.”</p> - -<p>“The old mair is whinnerin’ for the colt!” sez he, -and agin he put his foot on the lowest step.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp65" id="i_061" style="max-width: 20em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_061.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Sez I, a-risin’ up in the democrat, “I’ll git out.”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, a-risin’ up in the democrat, with -dignity, “I’ll git out and stay to home. I will not -go to church and see my pardner took up for wearin’ -female’s clothin’.”</p> - -<p>He paused with his foot on the step, and a shade -of doubt swept over his liniment.</p> - -<p>“Do you spoze they would?” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Of course they would!” sez I; “twilight would -see you a-moulderin’ in a cell in Loontown.”</p> - -<p>“I couldn’t moulder much in half a day!” sez he.</p> - -<p>But I see that I wuz about to conquer. He paused -a minute in deep thought, and then he turned away; -but as he went up the steps slowly, I hearn him say—“Dum -it all, I never try to show off in politeness -or anything but what sunthin’ breaks it up!”</p> - -<p>But anon he come down clothed in his good -honorable black kerseymeer suit, and Al Faizi soon -follered him in his Oriental garb, and we proceeded -to meetin’.</p> - -<p>As I say, the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span> excitement wuz nearly rampant as -we went in. And I spoze nothin’ hendered the -female wimmen and men from bein’ fairly prostrated -and overcome by their feelin’s, only this fact, -that the winter before a Hindoo in full costoom -had lectured before the Jonesville meetin’-house, -so that memory kinder broke the blow some. And -then some on ’em had been to the World’s Fair, -and seen quantities of heathens and sech there.</p> - -<p>So no casuality wuz reported, though feather -fans wuz waved wildly, and more caraway wuz consoomed, -I dare presoom to say, than would have -been in a month of Sundays in ordinary times.</p> - -<p>But while the wonder and curosity waxed rampant -all round, Al Faizi sot silent and motionless -as the dead, with his soft, brilliant eyes fixed on the -minister’s face, eager to ketch every word that fell -from his lips—a-tryin’ to hear the echo of the Great -Voice speak to him through the minister’s words, -so I honestly believe.</p> - -<p>For I think that a honester, sincerer, well-meanin’er -creeter never lived and breathed than he wuz; -and as days went on I see nothin’ to break up my -opinion of him.</p> - -<p>Politer he wuz than any female, or minister, I -ever see fur or near. Afraid of makin’ trouble to a -marked extent, eager and anxious to learn everything -he could about everything—all our laws, and -customs, and habits, and ways of thinkin’—and tellin’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span> -his views in a simple way of honest frankness, that -almost took my breath away—anxious to learn, and -anxious to teach what he knew of the truth.</p> - -<p>Though, as I said, after that first bust of talk with -me he seemed inclined to not talk so much, but -learn all he could. It wuz as if he had his say out -in that first interview. Dretful interestin’ creeter -to have round, he wuz—sech a contrast to the inhabitants -of Jonesville, Deacon Garvin and the -Dankses, etc.</p> - -<p>He didn’t stay to our house all the time, as I said, -but would take pilgrimages round and come back, -and make it his home there.</p> - -<p>Wall, it wuz jest about this time that a contoggler -come to our house to contoggle a little for me. -I wanted some skirts, and some underwaists, and -some of Josiah’s old clothes contoggled.</p> - -<p>You know, it stood to reason that we couldn’t -have all new things for our voyage, and so I had to -have some of our old clothes fixed up. You see, -things will git kinder run down once in awhile—holes -and rips in dresses, trimmin’ offen mantillys, -tabs to new line, and pantaloons to hem over round -the bottom, and vests to line new, and backs to put -into ’em, and etcetery and etcetery.</p> - -<p>And, then, you’ll outgrow some of your<span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</span> things, -and have to let ’em out; or else they’ll outgrow you, -and you’ll have to take ’em in, or sunthin’.</p> - -<p>Sech cases as these don’t call for a dressmaker or -a tailoress. No, at sech times a contoggler is -needed. And I’ve made a stiddy practice for years -of hirin’ a woman to come to the house every little -while for a day or two at a time, and have my -clothes and Josiah’s all contoggled up good.</p> - -<p>This contoggler I had now wuz a old friend of -mine, who had made it her home with me for some -time in the past, and now bein’ a-keepin’ house -happy not fur away, had sech a warm feelin’ for me -in her heart, that she always come and contoggled -for me when I needed a contoggler.</p> - -<p>She had a dretful interestin’ story. Mebby you’d -like to hear it?</p> - -<p>I hate to have a woman meander off into -side paths too much, but if the public are real -sot and determined on hearin’ me rehearse her history, -why I will do it. For it is ever my desire to -please.</p> - -<p>It must be now about three years sence I had -my first interview with my contoggler. And I see -about the first minute that she wuz a likely creeter—I -could see it in her face.</p> - -<p>She wuz a perfect stranger to me, though she -had lived in Jonesville some five months prior and -before I see her.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</span></p> - -<p>And Maggie, my son’s, Thomas Jefferson’s, wife, -hearn of her through her mother’s second cousin’s -wife’s sister, Miss Lemuel Ikey. And Miss Ikey -said that she seemed to be one of the best wimmen -she ever laid eyes on, and that it would be a -real charity to give her work, as she wuz a stranger -in the place, without much of anything to git along -with, and seemed to be a deep mourner about sunthin’. -Though what it wuz she didn’t know, for -ever sence she had come to Jonesville she had made -a stiddy practice of mindin’ her own bizness and -workin’ when she got work.</p> - -<p>She had come to Jonesville kinder sudden like, -and she had hired her board to Miss Lemuel Ikey’s -son’s widow, who kep’ a small—a very small boardin’-house, -bein’ put to it for things herself though, -likely.</p> - -<p>I told Maggie to ask her mother to ask her -second cousin’s wife to ask her sister, Miss Lemuel -Ikey, to ask her son’s wife what the young woman -could do.</p> - -<p>And the word come back to me straight, or as -straight as could be expected, comin’ through five -wimmen who lived on different roads.</p> - -<p>“That she wuzn’t a dressmaker, or a mantilly -maker, or a tailoress. But she stood ready to do -what she could, and needed work dretfully, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</span> -would be awful thankful for it.”</p> - -<p>Then feelin’ deeply sorry for her, and wantin’ to -befriend her, I sent word back in the same way—“To -know if she could wash, or iron, or do fancy -cookin’. Or could she make hard or soft soap? -Or feather flowers? Or knit striped mittens? Or -pick geese? Or paint on plaks? Or do paperin’?”</p> - -<p>And the answer come back, meanderin’ along -through the five—“That she wuzn’t strong enough, -or didn’t know how to do any one of these, but she -stood ready to do all she could do, and needed work -the worst kind.”</p> - -<p>Then I tackled the matter myself, as I might -better have done in the first place, and went over to -see her, bein’ willin’ to give her help in the best way -any one can give it, by helpin’ folks to help themselves.</p> - -<p>I went over quite early in the mornin’, bein’ on -my way for a all-day’s visit to Tirzah Ann’s.</p> - -<p>But I found the woman up and dressed up slick, -or as slick as she could be with sech old clothes on.</p> - -<p>And I liked her the minute I laid eyes on her.</p> - -<p>Her face, though not over than above handsome, -wuz sweet-lookin’, the sweetness a-shinin’ out -through her big, sad eyes, like the light in the -western skies a-shinin’ out through a rift in heavy -clouds.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span></p> - -<p>Very pale complected she wuz, though I couldn’t -tell whether the paleness wuz caused by trouble, or -whether she wuz made so. And the same with her -delicate little figger. I didn’t know whether that -frajile appearance wuz nateral, or whether Grief -had tackled her with his cold, heavy chisel, and had -wasted the little figger until it looked more like a -child’s than a woman’s.</p> - -<p>And in her pretty brown hair, that kinder waved -round her white forward, wuz a good many white -threads.</p> - -<p>Of course I couldn’t tell but what white hair run -through her family—it duz in some. And I had -hearn it said that white hair in the young wuz a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span> -sign of early piety, and of course I couldn’t set up -aginst that idee in my mind.</p> - -<p>But them white hairs over her pale young face -looked to me as if they wuz made by Sorrow’s -frosty hand, that had rested down too heavy on her -young head.</p> - -<p>She met me with a sweet smile, but a dretful sad -one, too, when Miss Ikey introduced me.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_068" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_068.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>She met me with a sweet smile.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>But when I told my errent she brightened up -some. But after settin’ down with her for more’n a -quarter of a hour, a-questionin’ her in as delicate -a way as I could and get at the truth, I found that -every single thing that she could do wuz to contoggle.</p> - -<p>So I hired her as a contoggler, and took her -home with me that night on my way home from -Tirzah Ann’s as sech, and kep’ her there three -weeks right along.</p> - -<p>I see plain that she could do that sort of work by -the first look that I cast onto her dress, which wuz -black, and old and rusty, but all contoggled up -good, mended neat and smooth, and so I see, when -she got ready to go with me, wuz her mantilly, and -her bunnet; both on ’em wuz old and worn, but -both on ’em showed plain signs of contogglin’.</p> - -<p>She wuz a pitiful-lookin’ little creeter under<span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</span> her -black bunnet, and pitiful-lookin’ when the bunnet wuz -hung up in our front bedroom, and she kep’ on bein’ -so from day to day, as pale and delicate-lookin’ as a -posey that has growed in the shade—the deep shade.</p> - -<p>And though she kep’ to work good, and didn’t -complain, I see from day to day the mark that Sufferin’ -writes on the forwards of them that pass -through the valleys and dark places where She -dwells. (I don’t know whether Sufferin’ ort to be -depictered as a male or a female, but kinder think -that it is a She.)</p> - -<p>But to resoom. I didn’t say nothin’ to make her -think I pitied her, or anything, only kep’ a cheerful -face and nourishin’ provisions before her from day -to day, and not too much hard work.</p> - -<p>I thought I’d love to see her little peekéd face git -a little mite of color in it, and her sad blue eyes a -brighter, happier look.</p> - -<p>But I couldn’t. She would work faithful—contoggle -as I have never seen any livin’ woman contoggle, -much as I have witnessed contogglin’.</p> - -<p>And I don’t mean any disrespect to other contogglers -I have had when I say this—no, they did the -best they could. But Miss Clark (that wuz the -name she gin—Annie Clark), she had a nateral gift -in this direction.</p> - -<p>She worked as stiddy<span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</span> as a clock, and as patient, -and patienter, for that will bust out and strike every -now and then. But she sot resigned, and meek, -and still over rents and jagged holes in garments, -and rainy days and everything.</p> - -<p>Calm in thunder storms, and calm in sunshine, -and sad, sad as death through ’em all, and most -as still.</p> - -<p>And I sot demute and see it go on as long as I -could, a-feelin’ that yearnin’ sort of pity for her that -we can’t help feelin’ for all dumb creeters when -they are in pain, deeper than we feel for talkative -agony—yes, I always feel a deeper pity and a more -pitiful one for sech, and can’t help it.</p> - -<p>And so one day, when I wuz a-settin’ at my knittin’ -in the settin’-room, and she a-settin’ by me sad -and still, a-contogglin’ on a summer coat of my Josiah’s, -I watched the patient, white face and the slim, -patient, white fingers a-workin’ on patiently, and I -stood it as long as I could; and then I spoke out -kinder sudden, being took, as it were, by the side -of myself, and almost spoke my thoughts out loud, -onbeknown to me, and sez I:</p> - -<p>“My dear!” (She wuzn’t more’n twenty-two at -the outside.)</p> - -<p>“My dear! I wish you would tell me what makes -you so unhappy; I’d love to help you if I could.”</p> - -<p>She dropped her work, looked up in my face sort<span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span> -o’ wonderin’, yet searchin’.</p> - -<p>I guess that she see that I wuz sincere, and -that I pitied her dretfully. Her lips begun to tremble. -She dropped her work down onto the floor, -and come and knelt right down by me and put her -head in my lap and busted out a-cryin’.</p> - -<p>You know the deeper the water is, and the thicker -the ice closes over it, the greater the upheaval and -overflow when the ice breaks up.</p> - -<p>She sobbed and she sobbed; and I smoothed back -her hair, and kinder patted her head, and babied her, -and let her cry all she wanted to.</p> - -<p>My gingham apron wuz new, but it wuz fast color -and would wash, and I felt that the tears would -do her good.</p> - -<p>I myself didn’t cry, though the tears run down -my face some. But I thought I wouldn’t give way -and cry.</p> - -<p>And this, the follerin’, is the story, told short -by me, and terse, terser than she told it, fur. For -her sobs and tears and her anguished looks all punctuated -it, and lengthened it out, and my little groans -and sithes, which I groaned and sithed entirely onbeknown -to myself.</p> - -<p>But anyway it wuz a pitiful story.</p> - -<p>She had at a early age fell in love voyalent with -a young man, and he visey versey and the same. -They wuz dretful in love with each other, as fur <span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span>as -I could make out, and both on ’em likely and well -meanin’, and well behaved with one exception.</p> - -<p>He drinked some. But she thought, as so many -female wimmen do, that he would stop it when they -wuz married.</p> - -<p>Oh! that high rock that looms up in front of -prospective brides, and on which they hit their -heads and their hearts, and are so oft destroyed.</p> - -<p>They imagine that the marriage ceremony is -a-goin’ in some strange way to strike in and make -over all the faults and vices of their young pardners -and turn ’em into virtues.</p> - -<p>Curous, curous, that they should think so, but -they do, and I spoze they will keep on a-thinkin’ -so. Mebby it is some of the visions that come in -the first delerium of love, and they are kinder crazy -like for a spell. But tenny rate they most always -have this idee, specially if love, like the measles, -breaks out in ’em hard, and they have it in the old-fashioned -way.</p> - -<p>Wall, as I wuz a-sayin’, and to resoom and proceed.</p> - -<p>Annie thought he would stop drinkin’ after they -wuz married. He said he would. And he did for -quite a spell. And they wuz as happy as if they -had rented a part of the Garden of Eden, and wuz -a-workin’ it on shares.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span></p> - -<p>Then his brother-in-law moved into the place, -and opened a cider-mill and a saloon—manafactered -and sold cider brandy, furnished all the -saloons round him with it, took it off by the load -on Saturdays, and kep’ his saloon wide open, so’s -all the boys and men in the vicinity could have -the hull of Sunday to git crazy drunk in, while he -wuz a-passin’ round the contribution-box in the -meetin’-house.</p> - -<p>For he wuz a strict church-goer, the brother-in-law -wuz, and felt that he wuz a sample to foller.</p> - -<p>Wall, Ellick Gurley follered him—follered him -to his sorrer. The brother-in-law employed him in -his soul slaughter-house—for so I can’t help callin’ -the bizness of drunkard-makin’. I can’t help it, -and I don’t want to help it.</p> - -<p>And so, under his influence, Ellick Gurley wuz -led down the soft, slippery pathway of cider drunkenness, -with the holler images of Safety and old -Custom a-standin’ up on the stairway a-lightin’ him -down it.</p> - -<p>Ellick first neglected his work, while his face -turned first a pink, and then a bloated, purplish red.</p> - -<p>Then he begun to be cross to his wife and abusive -to little Rob, the beautiful little angel that had -flown to them out of the sweet shadows of Eden, -where they had dwelt the first married years of -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span>their life.</p> - -<p>Finally, he got to be quarrelsome. Annie wuz -afraid of him. And all of his money and all of -hern went to buy that cider brandy (it makes the -ugliest, most dangerous kind of a drunk, they say, -of any kind of liquor, and I believe it from what -I have seen myself, and from what Annie told me -of her husband’s treatment of her and little -Rob).</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp54" id="i_075" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_075.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Finally, he got to be quarrelsome.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And at last she begun to suffer for food and -clothin’ for herself and the child.</p> - -<p>And as the drink demon riz up in Ellick’s crazy -brain, and grew more clamorous in its demands, -and he weaker to contend aginst it, Ellick sold -all of the household stuff he could git holt of to -appease this dretful power that had got holt of him, -body and soul.</p> - -<p>Annie took in all the work she could do, did -washin’ for the neighbors, who ust to envy her -her happiness and prosperity—rubbed and hung -out the heavy garments with tremblin’ fingers—sewed -with her achin’ head a-bendin’ over the long -seams, and her tear-filled eyes dimmed with the -pain of unavailin’ agony.</p> - -<p>But heartaches and abuse made her weak form -weaker and weaker, and then there wuz but little -work to do, if she had been as strong as Sampson;<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span> -so, bein’ fairly drove to it by Agony, and -Fear, and Starvation, them three furies a-drivin’ -her, as you may say, harnessed up three abreast -behind her, a-goadin’ her weak, cowerin’ form with -their fire-tipped lashes, she appealed to the brother-in-law.</p> - -<p>She told him, what he knew before, that she and -little Robbie were starvin’, and she wuz afraid of -her life, and she urged him to not sell Ellick any -more of the poison that wuz a-destroyin’ him.</p> - -<p>He wuz to meetin’ when she went. He -wuz dretful particular about his religious observances.</p> - -<p>No Hindoos wuz ever stricter about burnin’ -their widders on the funeral pyre of the departed -than he wuz a-follerin’ up what he called his religion.</p> - -<p>(Religion, sweet, pure sperit, how could she stand -it, to have him a-burnin’ his incense in front of -her? But, then, she has had to stand a good deal -in this old world, and has to yet.)</p> - -<p>But, as I wuz a-sayin’, there never wuz a Pharisee -in old or modern times that went ahead of him in -cleanin’ the outside of his platters and religious -deep dishes, and makin’ broad the border of his -phylakricy. Why, his phylakricy wuz broader and -deeper than you have any idee on.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span></p> - -<p>But inside of his platters and deep dishes wuz -dead men’s bones!</p> - -<p>More’n one quarrel, riz up out of his accursed -brandy, had led to bloodshed, besides achin’ and -broken hearts without number, and ruined souls -and lives.</p> - -<p>And his phylakricy ort to be broad, for it had to -be used as a pall time and agin, and it covered, so -he thought, a multitude of sins.</p> - -<p>Yes, indeed!</p> - -<p>Wall, as I say, he wuz to a church meetin’. -There wuz a-goin’ to be a Association of Religious -Bodies for the Amelioration of Human Woe. And -he wuz anxious to be sent as a delegate, so he hung -on to the last, and wuz appinted.</p> - -<p>But finally he got home, and Annie tackled -him on the subject nearest her heart, talked to -him with tears in her eyes and a voice tremblin’ -with the anguished beatin’s of her poor, achin’ -heart.</p> - -<p>She begged him to not sell her husband any -more drink, begged him for her sake and for the -sake of little Rob. For she knew that if the man -had a tender place in his heart it wuz for his little -nephew. He did love him deeply, or as deep as a -man like this could love anything above his money -and his reputation as a religious leader.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span></p> - -<p>But he wouldn’t promise, and he acted dretful -high-headed and hateful to her to cover up his -meanness, for he felt that if he should refuse to sell -his stuff, it would not only stop his money-makin’, -but it would be like ownin’ up that he had been in -the wrong.</p> - -<p>And he plumed himself, and carried the idee that -cider wuz a healthful beverage, and very strengthenin’ -in janders and sech. Why, he carried the -idee to the world, and mebby in the first place he -did to his own soul, so blindin’ is the spectacles of -selfishness that he wore, that he wuz a-doin’ a -charitable work a-keepin’ that old cider-mill and -saloon a-goin’.</p> - -<p>So he wouldn’t pay no attention to her pleadin’s, -only acted hateful and cross to her, his guilty conscience -makin’ him so, I spoze.</p> - -<p>And then, too, he wuz in a hurry, for his church -duties wuz a-waitin’ for him, and his barrels of cider -wanted doctorin’ with alcohol and sech.</p> - -<p>So he turned onto his heel and left her.</p> - -<p>And Annie went home more broken-hearted than -ever, for his cold, cruel sneers and scorn hurt her on -the poor heart made sore by her husband’s brutality.</p> - -<p>And Ellick went on worse than ever. And it -wuz on that very day that his brother-in-law (and -to make it shorter we will call him B. I. <span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</span>L.)—it -wuz on the very day that the B. I. L. went to New -York on his great Amelioratin’ Human Misery -errent, that Ellick, crazy drunk with cider shampain, -struck little Rob sech a blow that it knocked the -child down, and he laid stunted for more’n a hour. -And he threatened Annie that he would take her -life, because she interfered between him and the boy.</p> - -<p>He raved round, like the maniac that he wuz. He -said that he would throw her out doors if she didn’t -git a good dinner, when there wuzn’t a mite of -food in the house to cook. He raved about the -house bein’ so freezin’ cold, when there wuzn’t a -stick of wood nor a lump of coal.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp73" id="i_080" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_080.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Ellick lay drunk in the office.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And finally he reeled off to his usual place of -resort. And while the B. I. L. wuz a-raisin’ up in -the great meetin’-house, and a-smoothin’ out his -phylakricy, and a-layin’ the border of it careful, so’s -it would show off well, and then bustin’ out into -sech a speech, on the duties of church-members to -the sinful and the sorrowin’ round ’em—a speech -that riz him up powerful in religious circles—Ellick -lay drunk in the office of his cider-mill.</p> - -<p>Little Rob lay like a dead child in a cold, bare -room, and a white-faced, half-starved mother bent -over him with big, despairin’, anxious eyes—bent -over him till life come back to his poor, -bruised body; and then as darkness crept over the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</span> -earth she stole away, a-carryin’ him in her arms.</p> - -<p>She got a ride with a passin’ teamster, got carried -fur off, then got another ride, wuz fed and warmed -by pityin’ hearts on the way; so she come to a -place nigh Jonesville, onbeknown to anybody.</p> - -<p>When Ellick rousted up out of his drunken -sleep he went back to a desolate, empty house. His -surprise, his grief, sobered him. He flew to the -B. I. L., woke him out of a sound sleep filled with -visions of his triumphs.</p> - -<p>The B. I. L. wuz in a tryin’ place. He wuz -about to be riz up to a high position in the meetin’-house. -If this story got out, it might and probble -would hurt him. Annie must be found and -brought back. They jined forces to try to find her. -They sot out that very day, but the quest wuz a -long one.</p> - -<p>Annie stayed a spell with the family who took -her in first out of the cold and the darkness.</p> - -<p>The man of the house, and the woman, too, wuz -relations on the soul side to the good old Samaritan -mentioned in Skripter. They did well by her.</p> - -<p>But little Rob never got over the effects of the -cruel blow, and the fall on the hard floor, and the -awful journey through the coldness of the midnight -escape. They all sort o’ underminded his little constitution, -and he wuz took sick a bed.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span></p> - -<p>And bein’ too tired out and hardly dealt with -here on earth, he wuz promoted up to that higher -home, where we may be sure that his True Father, -the Helper of all the oppressed and burdened, accepted -him right into His great heart of Love, and -wuz good to the little, patient soul.</p> - -<p>Wall, Annie couldn’t tell me much about that -time, when she had to let the child, a part of her -own life, go out of her arms, and she wuz left -alone—alone amongst strangers, helpless, despairin’, -and poor.</p> - -<p>No, she couldn’t talk much about it, not in words, -but I understood the language of her tremblin’ lips -and her fallin’ tears.</p> - -<p>Wall, when little Rob wuz laid away under the -dead grasses and the bare shade trees of that little -country church-yard, Annie couldn’t stay long in -the house where he had been and now wuz not.</p> - -<p>His little figger hanted every room, and her agonized -Remembrance wuz a-walkin’ up and down -with her. So she heard of a place in Jonesville -where mebby she could git work, and she come -there.</p> - -<p>But lately news had come to her that her husband -and B. I. L. wuz huntin’ for her.</p> - -<p>Ellick really and truly loved his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span> wife and child, -so it wuz spozed, and hunted for Love’s and Anxiety’s -sakes.</p> - -<p>The B. I. L. hunted ’em so’s to hush up the -story; it wuz a-hurtin’ him dretfully in the eyes of -the meetin’-house. And Anger and Selfishness and -Hypocrocy wuz a-holdin’ up their blue-flamed -torches to light him on his hunt.</p> - -<p>Wall, Annie wuz in deathly fear that they -would find her. She had took another name—her -mother’s maiden name—but she wuz afraid they -would find it out.</p> - -<p>She said that she could not live to go through -agin what she had gone through with. And yet -when I pinned her right down on the subject (a -calm, religious pinnin’) she owned up that she did -love her husband yet. She cried when she said it.</p> - -<p>And I thought to myself that I would cry if -I wuz in her place, if I loved such a thing as that.</p> - -<p>But she said, and mebby it wuz so, that he would -have been all right if it hadn’t been for the influence -of the B. I. L. and his bein’ gradual led back into -drinkin’ agin by sunthin’ that he thought wouldn’t -hurt him. She said that he never would have -touched whiskey agin, havin’ promised and broke -off.</p> - -<p>But he thought, somehow, that the liquid sech a -highly religious man wuz a-sellin’ under the name of -cider must be sort o’ soothin’ to his insides; <span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</span>but instead -of that it set fire to ’em, and his morals and -all, and burnt ’em right up.</p> - -<p>Annie showed me Ellick’s picter, and it wuz a -good-lookin’ face, or kinder good; it would have -been handsome if it hadn’t been for a sort of a weak -look onto it.</p> - -<p>But weak or strong, she loved him. And so I -didn’t really know how she wuz a-comin’ out so fur -as her own happiness wuz concerned. Wimmen are -so queer.</p> - -<p>But I chirked her up all I could, told her to keep -jest as calm as she could conveniently, and I would -take care of her for the present.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER IV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">SAMANTHA’S SWORD OF TRUTH AND JUSTICE.</p> - -<p>Wall, if you’ll believe it, it wuz the very -next day I had a occasion to go to Jonesville -for some necessaries; and Josiah wuz busy a-makin’ -a new stanchil in the barn, so I sot off alone -after breakfast with a large pail of good butter, and -a cross-cut saw that Josiah had sent down to be -filed, and the mair.</p> - -<p>Wall, jest about a mild from our house is a -old tarvern that has been fixed up and is used -now as a sort of a half-way house between Jonesville -and Loontown. Teamsters and sech stop -there a sight to git “Refreshments for man and -beast,” as the sign reads.</p> - -<p>Wall, I had got most there when I see a man -approachin’ me a-walkin’ afoot. And I knew him -the first minute I sot my eyes on him.</p> - -<p>It wuz Ellick Gurley.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_087" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_087.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>It wuz Ellick Gurley.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And the very minute I sot my eyes onto his -face Duty and Principle both hunched me up -hard to tackle him in this matter.</p> - -<p>Wall, most probble he had been hangin’ round -for some time, for he knew me the first thing, and -he come up to the side of the democrat wagon<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span> I -wuz a-ridin’ in, bold as brass, and he sez:</p> - -<p>“Is this Josiah Allen’s wife?” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Yes, sir,” sez I, up clear and decided.</p> - -<p>“Is a woman calling herself Anna Clark at your -house?”</p> - -<p>I wuzn’t a-goin’ to fight for Annie with any pewter -weepons of untruth. No, I wuz a-goin’ to fight -with the two-edged sword of Eternal Truth and -Jestice, and I took ’em out and whetted ’em (as it -were), and sez I, sharp and keen—</p> - -<p>“Yes, sir!”</p> - -<p>“Well,” sez he, lookin’ dretful defiant and mad at -me, “she is my wife, and I hereby forbid you harboring -her, for I will pay no debts of her contracting.”</p> - -<p>“Like as not,” sez I coolly, “as you never paid -any of your own.”</p> - -<p>He kinder blushed up some, but he went on -some as if he wuz a-rehearsin’ a piece he had -learnt:</p> - -<p>“She has left my bed and board!”</p> - -<p>Then I waved that sword of Truth agin that I had -been a-whettin’, and sez I—</p> - -<p>“It wuz her bed. Her mother gin it to her for -her settin’ out, and picked every feather in it from -her own geese and ganders. I got it from Annie’s -own lips, and you sold it for drink. As for the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</span>boards,” sez I candidly, for even in the midst of -the fiercest battle with the forces of wrong I must -be jest to my foe, and so sez I—</p> - -<p>“As for the piece of board you speak of, I d’no -whose it wuz, but I believe it wuz hern. Anyway, -I know she earnt every mite of food and -drink you took into your miserable body.”</p> - -<p>And the remembrance of Annie’s wrongs and -woes so overmastered me, that I sez right out—</p> - -<p>“You drunken, low-lived snipe, you! how dast -you be comin’ round that good little creeter, and -tryin’ to git her back into her starvation and slavery, -and peril of life and limb? How dast you, -you drunken coot, you?” sez I, a-lookin’ two or -three daggers at him and some simeters.</p> - -<p>He quailed. I d’no as I ever see signs of quail -any plainer than I see it in him.</p> - -<p>But he muttered sunthin’ about—“A man’s -having a right to his wife and child.”</p> - -<p>“A right?” sez I; “do you dast to look anybody -in the face and talk of your right to wife and child, -when it wuz your poor, abused, half-starved wife’s -weak arms and mighty love that riz up between -you and your child and murder? Riz up between -you and the gallows?”</p> - -<p>He quailed deeper, fur<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</span> deeper than he had -quailed, and his lips trembled.</p> - -<p>And I see under the quail, come to look clost at -him, that there wuz a kinder good-hearted look under -all the weakness and dissipated look of his face. -I see, or thought I see, that it wuz bad influences -that had led him astray, and if he had kep’ under -good influence and away from bad ones (the B. I. L. -and his hard cider, etc.), I thought like as not, -from the generous lay of his features, that he -might have been a tolerable good-lookin’ feller and -behaved middlin’ well.</p> - -<p>And that is why I spozed that Annie looked so -heart-broken, that wuz why, I spoze, that, in spite of -all she had underwent, my contoggler loved him.</p> - -<p>But anon he sprunted up some and said sunthin’ -about bein’ bound to have his wife.</p> - -<p>And I waved my sword of Jestice agin (mentally) -and sez—</p> - -<p>“Wall, I am bound that you shan’t have her, and -you’ll see,” sez I, “who’ll carry the day!”</p> - -<p>And then he sez, “What right have you to interfere? -What relation are you to her?”</p> - -<p>And sez I, a-liftin’ up my head in a very noble -way—“The same relation that the Samaritan wuz -to the man by the wayside. She’s my relation on -the heart’s side, the Pity and Sympathy’s side. -Closter ties than the false, shaky ones that bound -her to a life of slavery and danger with you—bound<span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</span> -her to you, who promised to protect her, and then -half-murdered her. And you’ll find out so!” sez -I, a-lookin’ as bold as brass, but in my heart -I quaked considerable, not knowin’ but I wuz a-goin’ -agin the hull statute and constitution and by-laws -of the U. S. of America.</p> - -<p>But I spoze my mean skairt him. It had sech -determination and courage into it, and he sez—</p> - -<p>“I will go and call my brother-in-law. He is a -rich and respectable man and very religious. I will -bring him to talk with you.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, do so!” sez I, bold as a lioness on the -outside. “I’d love to set my eyes onto that creeter, -jest out of curosity, jest as I would look at a menagerie -of wild beasts and man-eaters.”</p> - -<p>So he went back into the tarvern and brung him.</p> - -<p>He wuz a mean-lookin’ creeter in his face, -and he wuz short in statter, and his figger looked -sort o’ sneakin’ under the weight of guilt he wuz -a-carryin’ round under the cloak of religion.</p> - -<p>And his little black eyes looked guilty, and his hull -face, under some kinder red hair, looked withered -and hardened, as if his doin’ for years what he knew -wuz wicked had hardened his face into a cruel meanness. -He looked mean as mean could be.</p> - -<p>But he tried to hold his head up,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</span> and he bust out -the first thing about takin’ the law to me!</p> - -<p>“<i>You</i> take the law to me! <i>you!</i>”</p> - -<p>And oh! how my simeter of Truth and Jestice -jest flashed round that man’s short, meachin’ figger.</p> - -<p>“You take the law on anybody, you mean creeter -you! who have brung all this sin and misery to -pass for your own selfishness. You, who took the -good-tempered, weak boy and poured your poison -down his throat till you flooded out all his moral -sense and husbandly and fatherly affection, and filled -up the empty space with the demons of Hatred and -Brutality and crazy quarrelin’s!</p> - -<p>“You talk of law, who stole away every mite of -that poor girl’s happiness and every cent of her -money for your cursed drink!</p> - -<p>“You, who drove out of their home the sweet -angel of Happiness, who used to board with ’em -stiddy, and drove in your beasts of prey!</p> - -<p>“You ruined her happiness, you starved her, you -broke her heart, and now you want her back to torment -her agin!</p> - -<p>“Wall, you won’t have her, unless you take her -over my prostrate form!”</p> - -<p>The B. I. L. wuz half skairt to death, and he -stood demute.</p> - -<p>But Ellick broke in with tremblin’ lips. He -stopped talkin’ about Annie for a spell, bein’, I -spoze, perfectly overcome by my eloquence. <span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</span>And -he begun on another tack, and sez he in tremblin’ -axents—</p> - -<p>“I want my boy,” sez he, “I will have my child!”</p> - -<p>And I see that he did have a deathly longin’ and -hungry look in his eyes. I could see that he did -love his wife and child, deep and earnest. And I -felt a little mite tenderer towards him, not much, -for I kep’ a-thinkin’ of how Annie’s face had looked -as she come and throwed herself at my feet.</p> - -<p>The memory of that white face and them big, anguished -eyes riz my heart up and kep’ it from meltin’ -right down under the agony of that man’s look.</p> - -<p>The B. I. L., whose selfishness had done the -hull work, he too looked a heartfelt anxiety about -the boy. I see that he loved him too, and wuz -proud of him.</p> - -<p>But, as I say, the memory of the Giant Wrong that -had struck down Annie and the boy stood right by -me and nerved me up, and I sez—</p> - -<p>“You can’t have the child!”</p> - -<p>Then Ellick flared right up, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“I will have the child, and I’ll let you know that -I will! I am his natural guardian, and I’ll let you -know that the law is on my side, and I can take him, -and I will take him!”</p> - -<p>“No,” sez I, “you can’t<span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</span> take him!”</p> - -<p>“He can!” sez the B. I. L., speakin’ up sharp as -a meat-axe—“he can; nobody loves the child as well -as we do; and he is the child’s natural guardian, -and we can take him away from any place you have -put him in.”</p> - -<p>And agin I sez, “No you can’t, not from the place -he is in now. The boy has got another gardeen now, -a better one.”</p> - -<p>“Another guardian!” sez the father; “well, I will -tear him right out of his hands; I will make him -give him up!”</p> - -<p>He wuz jealous as a dog, I could see, of the gardeen.</p> - -<p>“No you won’t!” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Yes he will!” sez the B. I. L.; “we’ll teach -him what the law is, and that a father can get his -boy every time!”</p> - -<p>“Not this time!” sez I; “this gardeen is powerful -and kind, too; and he has got him in a safe -place. He wuz misused and kicked and beaten -and half starved; but he has enough now; he has -got a home of plenty and rest and happiness. He -is safe,” sez I.</p> - -<p>“No matter how safe it is we will have him right -out of it!” sez the B. I. L.</p> - -<p>“He is my child, and I <i>will</i> have him!” says -Ellick Gurley.</p> - -<p>“No,” sez I, “you<span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</span> can’t have him. You can’t -pull that tender little body out of the grave to misuse -it agin. You can’t draw the sweet little sperit -out of God’s happy home to torment it agin. The -Lord is his father and his gardeen now, and He -will keep the boy!”</p> - -<p>“Dead!” cried the B. I. L., and he staggered -back like a drunken man, and his face turned white -as a bleached white cotton shirt.</p> - -<p>“Dead! my baby dead!” sez Ellick Gurley. -“Then I am his murderer!”</p> - -<p>And he threw up his arms as if he had received a -pistol shot right in his heart, and then he fell jest -like a log right down in the road. Wall, I disembarked -from my democrat, and by the time the -B. I. L. had got him up in a more settin’ poster on a -log by the side of the road, I wuz by him a-holdin’ -his head and a-chafin’ his hands and his forward.</p> - -<p>When he come to and riz up and sot upright, his -first words wuz—</p> - -<p>“Oh! poor Annie! poor girl! how did she bear -it, all alone with our dead boy! Oh! my boy! -my boy that I killed!”</p> - -<p>I see plain that there wuz good in the man, after -all.</p> - -<p>But the B. I. L. had by this time sprunted up, -and wuz a-thinkin’ of his phylakricy, and a-pullin’ it -over himself and Ellick, and seemed anxious to sort -o’ hush him up, and sez he—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</span></p> - -<p>“It wasn’t your doings, it wasn’t the accident -that killed the boy, it was probably something else.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, lookin’ at the B. I. L. straight in -the face—“yes, it <i>wuz</i> sunthin’ else, it wuz <i>you</i>! -You smooth-faced, selfish hyppocrite, you; it wuz -your doin’s that killed the boy! If you had left his -Pa alone, and not led him into a condition fit to -murder, jest to put a few cents into your own -pocket, the boy would have been alive and happy -to-day, and so would Ellick and Annie.” Sez I, -“It wuz your doin’s, and you don’t want to forgit -it!” sez I.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_097" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_097.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">Yes, it</span> <i>wuz</i> <span class="smcap">sunthin’ else; it wuz</span> <i>you</i>.”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>He quailed, he quailed hard, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“You talk like a fool!”</p> - -<p>“No,” sez I; “you are the fool, for it is the -fool that hath said that there is no God, and you -see there is,” sez I—“a God that punishes sin, who -is even now a-punishin’ you; a God who said, -“Cursed is he who putteth the cup to his neighbor’s -lips.” Sez I, “You have prospered and grown rich -in your bizness of beast-makin’, and you didn’t believe -there wuz Eternal Jestice a-watchin’ over your -sinful deeds, and you find now that you wuz a fool -to believe it. For you find now that there is a God. -You find now that you <i>are</i> cursed for your sin in -makin’ murderers and assassins and wife-beaters and -child-killers!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</span></p> - -<p>Sez I, “You loved little Rob; your bad heart is -achin’ now this minute to think it wuz your hand -that dealt out the poison that reached him through -his father’s weakness and miserable vice!”</p> - -<p>He wuz demute. He didn’t say a word, but a -look come over his face that I don’t want to see -agin. He didn’t want to give up and own up his -guilt and repent, and he wuz jest crushed right down -about little Rob. He wuz jest tosted both ways, -between agony and selfishness. He didn’t want to -give up his profitable bizness of beast-makin’, and he -wuz horrow struck to think that his own little idol -had fell a victim.</p> - -<p>His face looked like a humbly fallen angel’s, or -how I spoze they look. I never see one fall.</p> - -<p>He didn’t say another word, but turned on his -heel and walked off.</p> - -<p>The last word he said to me, as I stated heretofore, -wuz callin’ me “a fool.”</p> - -<p>But I didn’t care for that. I knew I wuzn’t.</p> - -<p>But still that broken-hearted father, that wretched, -lonesome husband sot there by the side of the road. -Finally he spoke——</p> - -<p>“Can I see Annie?”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</span></p> -<p>“No, sir!” sez I plain and square—jest as plain -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</span>and jest as square as if my own heart wuzn’t -a-achin’, and a-achin’ hard, too, for the miserable, -broken-hearted man.</p> - -<p>My tears, if they fell, and I spoze they did from -my feelin’s, fell inside of my head; for I wouldn’t -let him have a chance to misuse and torment that -good little creeter agin, not if I could help it.</p> - -<p>He trembled like a popple leaf. He wuz paler -than any dish-cloth I ever see, and I see my advantage, -and I hardened my heart, some like Pharo’s, -only a more pious hardenin’, for it wuz done on -principle.</p> - -<p>“You talk of wantin’ that poor girl to go back -to your cold, naked home, to hardship, to starvation, -to wretchedness—bodily wretchedness and heart -wretchedness. For she loves you still, you poor -snipe, you; she loves you, fool that she is, but -wimmen are weak.”</p> - -<p>I see his face grow brighter for a minute, and -then turn pale as death agin.</p> - -<p>“Will she forgive me?” sez he in axents weak as -a cat, and weaker, too, and fur hopelesser than any -cat I ever see.</p> - -<p>“Not if I can help it!” sez I heartlessly (on the -outside) and boldly.</p> - -<p>“I’ll do better. I’ll promise her to not drink -another drop!”</p> - -<p>“Promises are <span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</span>cheap,” sez I in a lofty way, -a-lookin’ up into a tree, for his pale face weakened -me, and I felt that I must be strong. So I looked -up into the tree overhead. It wuz a slippery ellum, -but I held firm.</p> - -<p>“Promises are cheap and slippery,” sez I. I -spoze it wuz that tree that put me in mind of that -simely. “She shan’t be led away by ’em agin, by -my consent.”</p> - -<p>“If I don’t drink for a year will you help me to -have my wife back again?”</p> - -<p>His voice trembled.</p> - -<p>“That is beginnin’ to talk like a human creeter,” -sez I, and I looked down from the ellum sort o’ -benignantly. And I sez in a more warmer axent, -but not too warm—jest about milk warm—</p> - -<p>“You stop drinkin’ for a year. You git another -home for her as good as you took her to at first, -and I’ll advise her to talk with you about goin’ -back, and not one minute before!” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Can I see her one minute?” sez he.</p> - -<p>Annie wuz to home. Josiah wuz away. All devolved -on me, and I riz up to the occasion.</p> - -<p>“No!” sez I, “you can’t; you can’t see her to-day -for a minute, or a secont!”</p> - -<p>(I knew putty wuz hard in comparison to her -heart, and I wouldn’t run the resk.)</p> - -<p>“You stop drinkin’ for six months,” <span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</span>sez I, “and -you may see her for one-half hour in my presence, -and not a minute longer,” sez I, as resolute as iron. -“I’ll take care of her, and when you’ve earnt the -right to have her agin with you, I’ll give her up to -you and not a minute before,” sez I—“not a minute!”</p> - -<p>He riz right up, the tears runnin’ down his face, -and he ketched holt of my hand and kissed it. I -d’no when I’ve been so kinder took back.</p> - -<p>But I knew that Josiah wouldn’t care on sech a -occasion as this, there wuzn’t anything immoral in -it, and I couldn’t hender it anyway, it wuz done so -quick. And then he started right off, fast as he -could go.</p> - -<p>And as sure as the world, that man went to work -at his trade. Got two dollars a day. He didn’t -drink a drop. He rented a little house with five -acres of grass land round it and a paster. He -kep’ two cows, milked ’em nights and mornin’s, -sold his milk and laid up money.</p> - -<p>Workin’ with all his heart and soul to be worthy -of his wife and home.</p> - -<p>And I writ to that man stiddy, jest as stiddy as -though I wuz a-keepin’ company with him, every -week of my life.</p> - -<p>Josiah didn’t care. Good land! I writ on duty. -I sent him good letters, all about how Annie wuz, -and how she looked, and what she said, and a-holdin’ -up his arms like Arun and Hur (specially Hur, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</span> -it sounds some like a woman).</p> - -<p>She made it her home with me, but went out to -contoggle here and there, and laid up money, -bought sheets and piller-cases and sech. And I -helped her to two comforters and a bed-spread.</p> - -<p>But she didn’t go back to him till the year wuz -up.</p> - -<p>No, I see to that.</p> - -<p>And when that year had gone by, he wuz a sober -man all the time, completely out from under the -influences of the B. I. L. and cider and whiskey -and saloons, and completely under ourn, Annie’s -and mine and Temperance. And we a-doin’ our -very best for him, and a-believin’ in him, and -a-helpin’ him, all three on us.</p> - -<p>Why, then I ventered to let her go and live with -him agin. And I even made a party for ’em on -the occasion. Some like a weddin’ party, for we -all brung presents to ’em. And the children and a -few sincere well-wishers that she had contoggled -for and Josiah and me all jinin’ hearty in the -prayer Elder Minkley put up after supper for the -peace and prosperity of the new home.</p> - -<p>And they’ve prospered first-rate.</p> - -<p>Their sweet, cozy home is pleasant, as a home -where Love is always must be. But it is a-settin’ -down under a shadder, and always will set there.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</span> -It can’t be helped.</p> - -<p>The shadder stands up behind it, some like a -mountain; but the peace and happiness of the -present is gradually a-makin’ a meller, tender haze -in front on’t; some as the blue, -luminous sky of Injun Summer -floats in and softens the truth -of the year’s decay.</p> - -<p>It is there, all the same, but -time and that soft, tender mist -wears off the sharp edges on’t, -and sometimes the shadders fall -some in the shape of a cross. -The sun hits it in jest the right -way.</p> - -<p>Annie and Ellick jined the -meetin’-house the year after they -come together agin, and the Elder and several of -us bretheren and sistern gathered round ’em, and -held up their courage and helped ’em along all we -could.</p> - -<p>And though some are kinder mean and throw -out hints, for human nater can’t be helped, and -mean and small souls have got to act out what is -inherient in ’em, and some, specially the B. I. L. -and his family, made lots of talk about him and -her, and poked fun at ’em, and acted. But Ellick<span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</span> -is a-learnin’ to be patient and bear what he says -he knows is “The Wages of Sin.”</p> - -<p>But, as naterally follers, he is now in the employ -of another Master, and his wages is a-comin’ in -better and better every day.</p> - -<p>And wuzn’t he happy when he held another little -boy on his knee? Little Tom Josiah, named after -my two best-beloved males.</p> - -<p>And Annie wanted to add “Sam” to it for me, -but I demurred, sayin’, “They didn’t seem to go -together smooth. Tom Josiah Sam didn’t seem to -have the flow and rythm to suit my melodious -idees.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Save the Sam, it may come in handy in -the futer.”</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp78" id="i_102" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_102.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">Save the Sam, it may come in handy -in the futer.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>But the dimpled hands of that child seemed to -draw Annie and Ellick nigher together than they’d -ever been, and pull ’em both along, onbeknown to -’em, into the sunshiny fields of happiness.</p> - -<p>Thomas J. gin little Tom Josiah ten dollars to -put in the Savin’s Bank at compounded interest, -and Josiah gin him two lambs, which are a-goin’ to -be put out to double to the very best advantage for -him.</p> - -<p>By the time he is twenty-one he will have considerable -money, and a big flock of sheep to drive -on before him down the path of the futer.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</span></p> - -<p>But I might talk for hours and hours and not -exhaust the fascinatin’ subject of the peace and -prosperity of the one who has left the paths of sin -and hard cider and whiskey, etc., and is walkin’ in -the paths of sobriety and success.</p> - -<p>But to them not interested so much in this cause, -so dear to the heart of her whose name wuz once -Smith, the subject may grow monotunous and -tejus, so I will resoom and take up the thread of -my discourse over my finger agin, and let it purr -along on the spool of History.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER V.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">A HEATHEN’S STANDARD OF MORALITY.</p> - -<p>Wall, Al Faizi hearn this story about the contoggler’s -sufferin’s and the doin’s of the B. I. L., and I -never see him so riz up about anything as he wuz -with that.</p> - -<p>Sez he—“This man who loved the child sold -stuff to his father that he knew would make him -liable to murder him? I cannot believe it possible -that such a crime can be permitted.</p> - -<p>“To one coming from a heathen land it seems -incredible.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, “I’ve always said that it wuz a -worse practice than any savages ever dremp of.”</p> - -<p>Said Al Faizi—</p> - -<p>“This is probably the one solitary instance that -ever occurred where the death of a person much -beloved was caused by a man for a few cents’ gain.”</p> - -<p>“One instance!” sez I; “why, all over this broad -country, day after day, and year after year, murders -are brought about almost solely by this cause!”</p> - -<p>He sithed deep and seemed to be turnin’ in his -mind some possible remedy for this dretful state of -things.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</span></p> - -<p>“Could not these men be persuaded to stop this -trade that kills men in this world, and destroys -their hopes of Heaven?”</p> - -<p>“No,” sez I, “they can’t be persuaded; it has -been tried by good men and good wimmen for -years and years; they will keep on, driv by Selfishness -and Ignorance, that span of bloody -beasts!”</p> - -<p>“Could not the law interfere?” sez he; “could -not your great police force step in and punish these -dreadful doings?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “It could, if it wuzn’t spendin’ its hull -strength on devisin’ ways to protect the liquor -traffic.</p> - -<p>“The police might bring some on ’em up if it -wuzn’t a-sneakin’ into side-doors a-partakin’ on the -sly of the poison!”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “It gits braced up in this way, so’s it’s -ready to drag off to jail the poor, weak drunkards, -made so by the saloons, and by the men who supply -the saloons, and by the voters who make this -thing possible, and by the goverment that sustains -it.”</p> - -<p>“Why does not your great nation interfere and -compel them to stop it?” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Because this great nation is in<span class="pagenum" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</span> company with -’em,” sez I—“partakers in this iniquity, and -takin’ part of the bloody gain.”</p> - -<p>And my feathers drooped and my face wuz as red -as blood to have to own up these things to a -heathen, that wuz a-contrastin’ our ways with his -own, which wuz so much more superior and riz up -on the liquor question.</p> - -<p>“Your holy church,” sez he, “why does not -that, so great and powerful a force in this land, -why does it not interfere and frown down these -wicked ways? Why does it not pronounce its -anathema on all those who commit this sin—this -B.I.L., as I have heard him called, and men like -him, who own saloons and supply the stuff that -makes murderers?”</p> - -<p>“This B.I.L.,” sez I, “is a piller in his meetin’-house. -He sets in the highest place,” sez I.</p> - -<p>“One of your holy men who take charge of the -sacred things, permitted by your customs to carry -on such iniquity? I cannot understand it,” sez he.</p> - -<p>Sez I—“Nobody ort to understand it!” Sez I, -“It is a shame and a disgrace, anyway!”</p> - -<p>“Why,” sez he, “in my own country our men -who take part in holy observances have to lead -pure lives—to fast and pray continually. I cannot -understand that one would be permitted to carry on -an evil business six days during the week and -touch the sacred things of your religion the seventh<span class="pagenum" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</span> -day.”</p> - -<p>Agin I sez—“Nobody ort to understand it; it -would be a shame to heathen countries!” sez I.</p> - -<p>Sez he—“This very man who was the cause of all -this wretchedness and crime and murder—he prays -for the heathen, does he not?”</p> - -<p>“I spoze so,” sez I.</p> - -<p>“He carries round the vessel in which you gather -the money to send to the heathen for charity and -instruction?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I; “but we call it the contribution -plate.”</p> - -<p>“Well,” sez he, “we refuse to accept his money; -we refuse to take the money that man desecrates by -touching.</p> - -<p>“And,” sez he, “I will tell him so.”</p> - -<p>And so I spoze he did—good, simple-minded -creeter. He didn’t seem to have but two idees in -his head—one to learn the will of God, and the -other to do it.</p> - -<p>And from what I’ve hearn sence I guess he did -impress the B.I.L.</p> - -<p>The idee of havin’ a heathen from heathen lands -come to labor with him on religion kinder shook -him up, from all I can hear.</p> - -<p>I shouldn’t wonder if he did<span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</span> leave off his dretful -trade, and come part way up to a heathen’s standard -of morality.</p> - -<p>But if he duz, no thanks are due to our own law -or to our own gospel. They wuz both weighed in -the balances and found wantin’.</p> - -<p>If things are ever put on a more religious and noble -and riz up footin’ it will all be caused by the -missionary efforts of a heathen.</p> - -<p>But to resoom.</p> - -<p>Another thing about our contoggler interested -Al Faizi dretfully. It wuz some talks he had with -her about wimmen’s dress.</p> - -<p>Annie wuz sensible, and hated the tight girtin’s -indulged in by some of our females. And Al Faizi -expressed the greatest wonder at the ignorance and -folly showed by civilized wimmen.</p> - -<p>The pressin’ in and destroyin’ all the vital organs -by lacin’ in the waist. He expressed great -wonder that a civilized people could commit this -crime aginst the laws of health and the solemn -laws of heredity.</p> - -<p>He said when he contrasted the loose, comfortable -robes of his own wimmen with the deformities -caused by tight lacin’, more and more he wondered -at the strange sights of civilization.</p> - -<p>And then he said that in hospitals (for this strange -creeter had peered round everywhere in search of -knowledge), he had seen some of the terrible effects<span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</span> -of tight lacin’ and high-heeled shoes.</p> - -<p>He said that he had seen cases of blindness, -caused by the last, and a destruction of the -nerves.</p> - -<p>In lacin’, he had seen dretful cases of internal -diseases, incurable, and had seen terrible diseases in -infants, caused alone by this destructive custom of -the mothers—young infants who, if they lived, must -carry a maimed body through life with ’em, caused -alone by this habit.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “Compare these high-heeled shoes with -the loose, comfortable sandals that our own women -wear. And these painful steel waists, that compress -the lungs and heart, with our own women’s loose, -flowing garments,” and he wuz astounded at our -ways.</p> - -<p>Wall, I agreed with him from the bottom of my -heart, but sech is poor human nater that it kinder -galded me to have my sect so sot down on and despised -by a heathen. And I, kinder onbeknown to -me, brung up their own veiled wimmen. “And,” -sez I, “every country has its own shortcomin’s; I -don’t like the idee of your wimmen havin’ their -faces all covered up with veils.”</p> - -<p>My tone wuz kinder het up and agitated.</p> - -<p>But his voice wuz as sweet and calm as <span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</span>the evenin’ -breeze a-blowin’ over a bed of Japanese lilies.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he, “perhaps we err in that direction, -in veiling our women too much from the public -gaze.</p> - -<p>“But,” sez he, “I went to a grand party once in -your great city Chicago, and to one also in Washington, -and I see the women’s forms almost entirely -disrobed and nude, while great folds of cloth trailed -after them down on the floor. I knew not where to -look for shame, for even when I was a nursing babe -in my mother’s arms, I could not have witnessed -such sights.</p> - -<p>“And while we Eastern people may err in the -direction of veiling the charms of our women-kind, -methinks you Western people err still further in the -opposite direction. At these public parties I saw -the naked forms of the women, displayed with far -more than the freedom of the courtesans in my own -country, and my heart sank down with shrinking -and wonder at the strange customs of civilization.”</p> - -<p>I felt meachin’. I felt small enough to have -gone to bed through my bedroom key-hole. But I -thought I wouldn’t. I only sez—“Wall, I guess it -is about bed-time.”</p> - -<p>Josiah had already sought repose in our bedroom.</p> - -<p>And Al Faizi got up at once and took his night-lamp, -and bid me good-night with one of his low, -reverential bows.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</span></p> - -<div class="figleft illowp50" id="i_112" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_112.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>WITH ONE OF HIS LOW, REVERENTIAL -BOWS.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I knew what he said wuz the truth. I had meditated -on it. And in my own way I had tried to -break it up—the tight-lacin’, train-dragglin’, high-heeled -doin’s.</p> - -<p>But, as I say, it galded me deeply to -hear these truths discanted on by a heathen.</p> - -<p>I love my sect, and wish her dretful -well, and I can’t bear to see heathens -a-lookin’ down on her.</p> - -<p>And then Al Faizi hearn about how -little children are put to work at a tender -age down in the damp, dark mines, shet -away from Heaven’s light, through long, -long days, until their youth is gone and -old age dims their eyes.</p> - -<p>And he sot off for a distant part of the -country to see the owners of the mines, and see for -himself, and use his influence to have this evil abolished.</p> - -<p>And then he hearn about how young children are -bought in the great stores of the big citys.</p> - -<p>He hearn all the tales of sin and woe connected -with sech doin’s—worse than the Masacreein’ of the -Innocents.</p> - -<p>He sot out<span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</span> to once to investigate, and to warn, -and to rebuke.</p> - -<p>And he hearn with wonder and unbelief, at first, -the story how children could sell their honor and -all their hopes of the futer at a tender age.</p> - -<p>And how this great nation permits this iniquity, -and makes laws to perpetuate it, and shield the -guilty men who indulge in this sin.</p> - -<p>And all the horrows that gathers round them infamous -words—</p> - -<p>“The Age of Consent.”</p> - -<p>As he talked with me about it, I could see by the -deep fire that wuz lit up in his usually soft eyes his -burnin’ indignation aginst this idee that had jest -been promulgated to him.</p> - -<p>Sez he—“You Christians talk a sight about the -car of Juggernaut that rolls on over living victims -and crushes them down, but,” sez he, “death leaves -the soul free to fly home to its paradise; but your -Christian country has found the way to ruin the -<i>souls</i> of children, as well as their bodies. How can -you sit down calmly and know that such a law is in -existence? How can mothers happily watch their -sweet little baby girls at play, and know that such a -horrible danger lurks in the path their ignorant -little feet have got to tread, such a snare is set for -them?”</p> - -<p>“They <span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</span>don’t set calm and happy—mothers -don’t!” I bust out; “their hearts and souls are full. -They cry to God in their anguish and fear, but they -can’t do nothin’ else, wimmen can’t; men made -this law, made it for men. Men say they don’t -want to put wimmen to the trouble of votin’, and -so they hender ’em from the hardship of droppin’ a -little scrap of paper in a small box once a year, and -give ’em this corrodin’, constant fear and anguish to -carry with ’em day and night, like a load of swords -and simeters, every one of ’em a-stabbin’ their -hearts.”</p> - -<p>“But how can men, fathers of young girls, make -this law, or allow it to go on? Don’t they think -of their own young daughters, who may be ruined -by it?”</p> - -<p>“They don’t make this law and vote for this law -for their own girls—it is to ruin other men’s girls -that it is made.”</p> - -<p>“Don’t they know that the sword of retribution -is two-sided—that it is liable to cut down their own -beloved?”</p> - -<p>“No, they don’t think at all; their vile passions -clog up their ears and blind their eyes.”</p> - -<p>“But your ministers, your holy men, what are -they doing? I supposed their mission was to preach -to sinners, and try to make the world better. I -have heard them speak of many things in the high -places where they stand to warn the people of their<span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</span> -sins, and the judgment to come, but I never heard -them allude to this. Why do they let this enormous -crime go on unrebuked?”</p> - -<p>“The land knows!” sez I; “I don’t; they go on -year in and year out, a-preachin’ about Job’s sufferin’s, -and Pharo’s hardness of heart, and the Deluge, -and other ancient sins and sufferin’s all healed up -and done away with centuries ago.</p> - -<p>“Why, it is six thousand years sence Pharo’s -heart hardened or Job’s biles ached, and the green -grass of centuries has riz up over the sweepin’ -swash of the Deluge, but they will calmly go on -Sunday after Sunday for years a-preachin’ on that -agony and that wickedness and that overflow, and -not one word do they say about the hardness of -heart of the men who make and permit this law, -which makes Pharo’s hardness seem like putty in -comparison, or the agony and dread this law brings -to mothers’ hearts in the night watches, a-thinkin’ -on’t, and thinkin’ of their own helplessness to protect -the ones who they would give their life for. -And the depths of wretchedness that overwhelms -the souls this law wuz made to ruin! What are -biles compared to these pains?</p> - -<p>“But the clergymen, the most on ’em, go calmly -on a-pintin’ these old sins and pains out, and the -overflow of the Deluge, and drawin’ tenthlies <span class="pagenum" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</span>and -twentiethlies from ’em, and not one word about this -cryin’ iniquity, so great that it seems as if it would -open the very sluce-ways of Heaven and let a new -flood down onto this guilty age that will allow sech -crime to go on unrebuked.</p> - -<p>“And philosophers will moralize on old laws and -new ones, and their cause and effects; on Heaven -and earth, and not seemin’ly cast a eye of their -spectacles on this law of sin and shame that rises -up right before their eyes. And scientists rack -their brains to discover new laws and utilize old -ones, but don’t make a effort towards discoverin’ a -way to avert this enormous cause of woe and guilt, -this fur-reachin’ and ever-increasin’ anguish and -crime. And law-makers, instead of tryin’ to overcome -it, try their best to perpetuate it and make it -permanent; bend all their powers of intellect, band -together, and use the cunnin’ of serpents and the -wisdom of old Lucifer to git their laws passed and -git Uncle Sam to jine in with ’em. Poor misguided -old creeter, a-bein’ led off by his old nose, -and made to consent to this crime and help it -along!”</p> - -<p>Al Faizi had been listenin’ in deep thought, and -now he sez: “This uncle of yours I know him -not; but your great Government, could it not interfere -and stop this iniquity?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</span></p> - -<p>“It could” (sez I, mad as a hen)—“it could, if it -wuzn’t jined right in with them law-makers and -helpin’ ’em along; and,” sez I, “now they’re tryin’ -to git the poor old creeter to consent to a new -idee. Some big clergymen and other wise men are -a-tryin’ to have these wimmen, ruined by the evil -passions of men, shet up in a certain pen to keep -’em from doin’ harm to innocent folks, and not one -word said about shettin’ up the men who have -made these wimmen what they are. Why don’t -they shet them up? There they be foot loose. -If they have ruined one pen full of wimmen, what -henders ’em from spilin’ another pen full? But -there they be a-runnin’ loose and even a-votin’ on -how firm and strong the pen should be made to -confine these victims of theirn. And how big -salaries the men who keep these pens in order shall -have—good big salaries, I’ll warrant you. Wise -men and ministers advocate this onjestice, and laymen -are glad to practise what they preach.</p> - -<p>“There hain’t nothin’ reasonable in it; if a pen -has got to be made for bad wimmen, why not have -another pen, jest like it, only a great deal bigger, -made for the bad man?</p> - -<p>“Why, this seems so reasonable and right I -should think that Jestice would lift the bandage -offen her eyes and holler out and say it must<span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</span> he -done! But no, there hain’t no move made towards -pennin’ bad men up—not a move.”</p> - -<p>Al Faizi sez—“I cannot understand these -strange things.”</p> - -<p>And I sez—“Nobody can, unless it is old Belzibub; -I guess he gits the run on it.”</p> - -<p>Wall, he took out that book of hisen and writ -for pretty nigh an hour.</p> - -<p>And that is jest the way he went on and acted -from day to day.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER VI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">A LITTLE FUN AND ITS PRICE.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi got acquainted with the Baptist minister -at Jonesville, and Elder Dean took to that -noble heathen in a remarkable way. He wuz a -truly Christian man and deep learnt, and he and Al -Faizi talked together right in my presence in languages, -a good many of them dead, I spoze, and -some on ’em, jedgin’ from the sound, in a sickly -and dyin’ state.</p> - -<p>Elder Dean wuz English, college bred. Been -abroad as a missionary, broke down, and come to -Jonesville with a weak voice and lungs, but a full -head and a noble heart, for six hundred dollars a -year and parsonage found.</p> - -<p>They’d always had a hard time, bein’ put to it for -things and kinder sickly. But he and his heroic -wife had one flower in their life that wuz a-bustin’ -into full bloom, and a-sweetenin’ their hard present -and their wearisome past, and the promise and -beauty on’t a-throwin’ a bright, clear light clear -acrost their futer—even down the steep banks -where the swift stream rushes through the dark, -and clear over onto the other side.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</span></p> - -<p>This brightness and blessin’ that lightened up -their hard and toilsome way wuz their only child, -a youth of such manly beauty and gentle goodness -that his love made up to ’em, so they said to me, -for all they had suffered and all they had lost -through their lives.</p> - -<p>He had been brought up on clear love mostly. -His Pa and Ma had literally carried him in their -hearts from the time his sweet, baby face had smiled -up to ’em from his cradle.</p> - -<p>Nobody could tell the tenderness and love that -had been lavished on him. His Ma jest lived in -him and his Pa, too, but their devotion hadn’t spilte -him, not at all—not mentally nor morally.</p> - -<p>Though there wuz them that did think that his -Ma, bein’ so dretful tender of him and lookin’ out -so for his health in every way, had kinder weakened -his constitution and he would have been stronger if -he had roughed it more.</p> - -<p>Bein’ watched over so lovin’ly all his days, he wuz -jest about as delicate and couldn’t stand any more -hardship than a girl; but he wuz stiddy and industrious, -a good Christian, and dretful ambitious. And -they looked forrered to him as bein’ an honor as -well as a blessin’ to ’em in the futer.</p> - -<p>The minister had learnt him all he knew,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</span> so he -said, and for years back they’d been savin’ every -penny they could, deprivin’ themselves of even -necessaries to git the money to send Harry to -college. From his babyhood they’d worked for -this. And jest before Al Faizi come to Jonesville, -the long looked-for and worked-for end had come—Harry -had gone to college, a-carryin’ with him -all his parents’ love and hope for the futer, and a -small trunk full of necessaries, some Balsam of Fir -for his lungs, and some plasters and things his Ma -had put in.</p> - -<p>Wall, as I said, Elder Dean had took dretfully to -Al Faizi, and he to him. So one day I invited the -elder and his wife over to dinner. I went myself -to gin ’em the invitation.</p> - -<p>I found the elder a carefully coverin’ a old book -of poems he had bought, which wuz very rare, so -he said, and jest what Harry had wanted. He had -took the money he had been savin’ for a winter -coat, so I hearn afterwards, to buy it.</p> - -<p>And she wuz knittin’ a african to put over the -couch in his room. She had ravelled out a good -shawl of her own to git the red for it, so I hearn.</p> - -<p>“But,” she sez, “when he comes into his room a -little chilly, it will be so nice to throw over his feet, -and he always liked that soft, crimson color. He -gits cold real easy,” sez she, a-holdin’ up the african -and lookin’ real affectionate at it. It wuz a good<span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</span> -african.</p> - -<p>I asked ’em to come to dinner the next day, and -they both demurred at first, sayin’ that it wuz the -day for Harry’s long letter to come. He writ ’em -long letters twice a week, and they both felt that -they wanted to be right there by the post-office so’s -to git it the minute it arrove.</p> - -<p>Wall, it wuz compromised in this way—I promisin’ -that Ury should be at the post-office when the -afternoon mail come in and bring it to ’em right to -our house. And I mentioned that the old mair -could go pretty fast when Ury and Necessity wuz -a-drivin’ her; so they consented to come.</p> - -<p>And I cooked up dretful good vittles. I don’t -think they’re ever than above well fed to home, and -I did enjoy a-cookin’ up good, nourishin’ food for -’em with Philury’s help.</p> - -<p>I had some good beef soup, two roast chickens, -with garden sass of all kinds, cream biscuit, strawberry -shortcake and jell, and rich, yellow coffee with -cream and loaf sugar in it.</p> - -<p>I did well by ’em.</p> - -<p>And I had a real good visit with ’em; for I jest -as lives spend my time a-hearin’ about Harry as -not. I wuz a-knittin’, and of course could hear and -knit. And Josiah and Al Faizi (good creeters both -on ’em) had jest as lives hear the elder praise up<span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</span> -his boy in dead languages as in live ones.</p> - -<p>And so they enjoyed themselves real well.</p> - -<p>As I say, when the elder would git tired of -praisin’ him up in English he would try it in Greek, -and when that language got tired out and kinder -dead, he would try a healthier, stronger one, so I -spoze. He and Al Faizi sot out in the porch some -of the time, but I could hear ’em.</p> - -<p>Miss Dean and I got along first-rate in our own -native tongues, though once in awhile I felt that, -visitor or no visitor, I had to sprunt up a little and -tell my mind about Thomas J., and what a remarkable -boy he always wuz, and what a man he’d made.</p> - -<p>But I see they wuz so oneasy when they wuzn’t -a-praisin’ Harry that I switched off the track as -polite as I could and gin ’em a clear sweep. And -from that time Happiness and Harry rained supreme -in our settin’-room and piazza. And reminescenes -wuz brung up and plans laid on and -prophecies foretold, and all wuz Harry, Harry, -Harry.</p> - -<p>Wall, I see Miss Dean kep’ a-lookin’ at the -clock, though I told her it lacked three hours of -train time. But in the same cause of politeness I -had held up through the day I sent Ury off a -hour before it wuz time, and in due time he come -back bearin’ a letter.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</span></p> - -<p>He brung it up to the stoop and handed it to -the elder.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_125" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_125.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>As the Elder took it he turned pale.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>As the elder took it he turned pale—white as a -piece of white cotton shirt, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“This is not Harry’s hand!”</p> - -<p>Miss Dean jest leaped forward and ketched -holt of his hand.</p> - -<p>“What is it? Not Harry’s writin’, what does -it mean?”</p> - -<p>Wall, when the letter wuz opened, we found -what it meant.</p> - -<p>Dead! dead! That bright young life, full of -hope and beauty and promise, had been cut down -like a worthless weed by the infamous practice of -Hazin’.</p> - -<p>Gentlemen’s sons, young men who had had every -means of civilization at their command, had committed -the brutality of a savage. Young men of -riches, education, culture, position, they had committed -this murder jest for wanton fun. They had -called him out of his bed at midnight on a false -errent, locked him out of his room for hours, -poured a lot of icy water on him; he, shiverin’ -with his almost naked limbs, had plead in vain for -help.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</span></p> -<p>Where wuz his Ma and Pa at this time? Asleep<span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</span> -and dreamin’ of him, mebby.</p> - -<p>A congestive chill had attackted the weak lungs, -and in two days he wuz dead.</p> - -<p>One of the pupils not engaged in it, in deep sympathy -and pity, writ the hull thing out to the bereaved -parents.</p> - -<p>We carried ’em home and helped ’em out of the -democrat—helped ’em to walk into the house, for -they couldn’t walk alone. We sot him down under -a picter of Harry that had fresh flowers under it—laid -her on a couch covered with the woosted -work she wuz a-makin’ for him, and took care on -’em as well as we could while they waited for Harry -to come home.</p> - -<p>Oh dear me! Oh dear suz!!!</p> - -<p>I can’t tell nothin’ about that time. My pen -trembles, jest as my heart duz, when I try to write -about it.</p> - -<p>I’m a-goin’ to hang up a black bumbazeen curtain -between the reader and that seen for the next -few days. Reader, it is best for you that I do it—you -couldn’t stand it if I didn’t.</p> - -<p>The curtain ort to be crape, but crape, though all -right in the line of mournin’, is pretty thin for -the purpose—you might see through it.</p> - -<p>But I will jest lift up a corner on’t a few days -later to show you another coffin, with the broken-hearted -mother a-layin’ in it, with a broken-down<span class="pagenum" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</span> -old man bendin’ over it alone, waitin’ for the summons -to jine ’em in another country.</p> - -<p>One victim buried, another victim layin’ in the -coffin, another victim, most to be pitied of all, -a-stayin’ on here alone in a dark world a-waitin’ for -the end.</p> - -<p>Gay, light-hearted young man, havin’ a good -time at college—sowin’ your wild oats—havin’ -royal good fun, what do you think of the end of -that night’s jollity?</p> - -<p>Al Faizi couldn’t understand it. Sez he to me—</p> - -<p>“His murderers will be hanged, will they not?”</p> - -<p>“Hung!” sez I in astonishment; “oh, no! this is -merely Hazin’—college fun for young gentlemen.”</p> - -<p>“Gentlemen!” sez he. “Do gentlemen murder in -your country? Why, your missionaries tell our -people that if they murder they must be hanged in -this world and eternally punished in the next.”</p> - -<p>“But,” sez I, “these young gentlemen were simply -havin’ a little fun!” My tone wuz as bitter as -wormwood and gaul, and he see it.</p> - -<p>“Has such a thing ever been done before in this -country?” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Oh, yes!” sez I (wormwood and gaul still saturating -my axents); “it is very common—it is always -practised. Sometimes the victims are only frightened -to death and maimed and made idiots and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</span> -invalids of; sometimes they don’t die so soon; but -then, agin,” sez I, “they die fur quicker—sometimes, -when the young gentlemen want to be extra -funny, and use some deadly gas, their victim dies to -once, right under their hands.”</p> - -<p>“But don’t the Government interfere to punish -such dreadful deeds?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, no!” sez I; “the Government has its hands -too full a-grantin’ licenses and sech, sellin’ the stuff -that helps to make these disgraceful seens.”</p> - -<p>“Well, do not men and women rise and punish -such deeds themselves?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, no!” sez I; “wimmen are considered too -feeble-minded to pass any jedgment on sech doin’s—they’re -considered by the college professors and -presidents, as a general thing, as too weak-minded -and volatile to take in a college education, and men -are kep’ pretty busy a-bringin’ up arguments to -keep wimmen in their place.</p> - -<p>“Of course, no sech doin’s ever took place in a -woman’s college. They generally spend their time -in learnin’, and don’t riot round and act, and that itself -is considered, I believe, an evidence that wimmen -are inheriently weak and not really fitted for -the higher education. It is, I believe, considered a -damagin’ evidence agin her powers of mind to -think she don’t have no hankerin’ to spend her college<span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</span> -days a-gittin’ up the reputation of a prizefighter -and a boat-swain, and had ruther spend her -time a-bringin’ out the strength of her mind and -soul instead of her muscles.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Take that with her refusal to kill and -maim and torture her fellow students by Hazin’, -and her dislike to cigarettes, drinkin’, etc.—take ’em -all together, though she carries off prizes right and -left for learnin’ and good behavior, yet these weaknesses -of hern in refusin’ to jine in such upliftin’ -exercises, tells agin her dretfully in the eyes of the -male world!”</p> - -<p>Oh! how the wormword showed in my axent as -I spoke.</p> - -<p>“Of all the strange things which I have seen -in your strange country,” sez Al Faizi, “this is one -of the strangest—a civilized nation practising such -barbarities!”</p> - -<p>And he took out that little book with the cross -on’t and writ for a quarter of an hour, and I d’no -but more.</p> - -<p>Wall, the days went along, one after another, as -days will, droppin’ off, droppin’ off the rosary Time -counts its beads on, and the time pretty near -elapsted for us to embark on our trip to Europe.</p> - -<p>The tickets wuz bought, the nightcaps wuz<span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</span> -packed, and the time drawed near.</p> - -<p>But as the time aproached, the thought of the -deepness of the water in the Atlantic growed more -and more apparient to me.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp82" id="i_131" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_131.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>I took down my old Atlas.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I took down my old Atlas and Gography from -the cupboard over the suller way and poured over -’em, and sithed, and sithed and poured.</p> - -<p>The distance looked fearful between shore and -shore, and my reason told me, also experience, that -the reality wuz jest as much worse as black water is -worse than yeller paper.</p> - -<p>The ocean wuz painted on this old Atlas bright -yeller.</p> - -<p>And the last time Al Faizi came back from quite -a long trip he had took to Washington and New -York he found me a-pourin’ over the old Atlas; -while the nightcaps and dressin’-gown, all done up, -lay on a stand by my side.</p> - -<p>As I mentioned more formally, I’d made a nice -flannel dressin’-gown for myself, and it satisfied my -desires for comfort and also my pride; though I -didn’t act over it as my pardner did over hisen. -No; a sense of dignity and propriety restrained me.</p> - -<p>I cut it out by my nightgown pattern and made -it fuller—it looked well. It wuz a brown and red -stripe, tied down in front with lute string ribbin, -that I paid as high as 14 cents a yard for, and -thought it none too good for the occasion; I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</span> -thought in case of a panick at sea, and I had to appear -in it, I wouldn’t begrech the outlay for the -ribbin.</p> - -<p>And then, agin, seein’ we wuzn’t to any extra expense -for the voyage, I thought it wuzn’t extravagant -in us to lanch out in clothes, or that is, lanch -out some in ’em, not too fur.</p> - -<p>For I didn’t believe in goin’ through Europe follered -by a dray full of trunks.</p> - -<p>No; I felt that two large satchels, that we could -carry ourselves, wuz what the occasion demanded.</p> - -<p>That wuz our first thought, though we afterwards -decided to take a trunk.</p> - -<p>Of course I took my mantilly, with tabs. It wuz -jest as good as it ever wuz, and a big woollen -shawl to wear when it wuz cold on the -steamer. And my good, honorable bunnet, -with my usual green baize veil to -drape it gracefully on the left side.</p> - -<p>My umbrell, it is needless -to say, occupied its usual place -in my outfit—protection from -storms and tramps and other -dangers, and it could also be -used for a cane.</p> - -<p>Noble utensil! I would have felt lost indeed to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</span> -have missed it from its accustomed place at my -right hand.</p> - -<p>As I say, Al Faizi come back and found us engrossed -in preperations and study.</p> - -<p>I with my Atlas, and Josiah carefully brushin’ -his dressin’-gown, though there wuzn’t a speck -of dust on it, and a-smoothin’ out them tossels.</p> - -<p>We wuz a-makin’ our last preperations, for it -only lacked about six weeks of the time when we -wuz to embark. Our satchels stood all unlocked, -with the keys fastened to ’em with good strong weltin’ -cord, so’s we wouldn’t have to hunt for the keys -at the last minute. Some long letters for the relations -on both sides lay on Josiah’s desk, to be sent -after our departure; they wuz dretful affectin’ letters; -we thought more’n as like as not they would bring -tears.</p> - -<p>And as Al Faizi come in and witnessed our hasty -preperations, he announced in that calm way of hisen -that he would go with us.</p> - -<p>For a minute I wuz dumfoundered, and knew not -whether I wuz tickled to death at the proposal, or -felt sorry and meachin’ over it.</p> - -<p>I felt queer.</p> - -<p>Sez Al Faizi, “I come to your land expecting I -hardly know what.</p> - -<p>“My heart had been<span class="pagenum" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</span> touched by learning of -your holy religion. I had accepted the teachings -of the blessed Lord Christ with all my heart and -soul; warmed by His love, I come to your country -to learn what that Divine religion would be -amongst the people who had followed His teachings -eighteen hundred years, and had no false religion -to paralyze its power——and now—”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, for Al Faizi paused for a good -while, not a-lookin’ mad, nor pert, nor anythin’, -but jest earnest and some sad, and very -quiet.</p> - -<p>“Now what?” sez I.</p> - -<p>He didn’t say nothin’. He looked as if he wuz -afraid of hurtin’ somebody’s feelin’s; but at last he -said in that soft, melodious voice of hisen—</p> - -<p>“Now, I should like to go to other lands.”</p> - -<p>I felt fearful meachin’, and showed it, I spoze, to -have a Hindoo come here and git disgusted with -our ways, for I mistrusted that he wuz, though he -didn’t say so out plain. And there wuzn’t a shadder -of blame on his face; jest calm and earnest, -jest as he always had been, and always would be, -so fur as I could tell.</p> - -<p>He couldn’t find Truth and Jestice here, and so -he wuz for follerin’ off on their trail over the -Atlantic.</p> - -<p>I felt queer<span class="pagenum" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</span> as a dog, but Josiah hailed the idee -with joy. He seemed highly tickled to have one -more ingregient of curosity added to our cavalcade.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_VII">CHAPTER VII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">THE EMBARKATION.</p> - -<p>And so it wuz settled, and Martin bein’ writ to -to git another ticket, he got it, and sent it in a -letter to us. But what he would say when he see -the passenger who wuz goin’ to use it I knew -not, but I knew that Alice and Adrian wuz good-natered, -and would feel as I did about usin’ folks -well. And then I remembered that complaint in -Martin’s eyes, and felt that if he didn’t take to -Al Faizi, he would most probble be so near-sighted -that he couldn’t see him much, if any.</p> - -<p>And so it turned out (to go ahead of the wagon -a spell, or, ruther, to paddle backwards a few furlongs), -after the first conversation Martin held with -him, and see what his bizness wuz over here in -America and wuz a-goin’ to be in Europe—Martin’s -eyes wuz so bad that he couldn’t see him -hardly ever.</p> - -<p>But Alice wuz sweet and courteous to him, and -Adrian liked him dretfully from the first. And Al -Faizi, when he first see Alice’s sweet face, he -stood stun still for more’n quite a spell.</p> - -<p>And on his dark, handsome face dawned a look<span class="pagenum" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</span> -sech as a man might have who had been walkin’ -a considerable time through a underground way, -who had come out full in view of the mornin’ sun -a-risin’ up on a June world.</p> - -<p>I d’no as anybody noticed that look but jest -me; I don’t believe they did, for Martin wuz talkin’ -to Josiah in a dretful kind and patronizin’ way, -and Alice wuz all took up a-lookin’ with her -heart’s eye on the land where her prince reigned.</p> - -<p>And Adrian wuz, as I say, dretful took up with -Al Faizi, and see nothin’ in his dark, expressive -face only what he looked for, and what he found -in it from day to day all through our tower—the -good nater of a patient comrade, who loved him -for his own bright, winnin’ little self, and loved -him more for the sake of another, whose heart’s -joy Adrian wuz.</p> - -<p>Martin’s eye complaint seemed to be real bad -so fur as the noble heathen wuz concerned.</p> - -<p>I guess Al Faizi, in the first conversation he had -with him, tackled him in the everlastin’ cause of -jestice, and pity, and mercy—subjects that Martin -hain’t “<i>o fay</i>” in (that is French. I seldom use -foreign languages, but I’ve hearn Maggie use it -considerable, and know it is lawful).</p> - -<p>No; Martin and Al Faizi looked on this earth -and the things of life with sech different pairs of -eyes that I d’no as they could be said to look<span class="pagenum" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</span> on -this old planet on the same side.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi looked on the deep side of subjects. -He looked fur down under the outside current to -try to discern the hidden springs, from whence -these clear and turbid torrents flowed.</p> - -<p>If he found a spring that yielded black water, -his first thought wuz to give warnin’ and try to -dam it up.</p> - -<p>Martin would try to keep it a-humpin’, so’s to -utilize it—sell the mud that flowed from it, mebby.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi’s gaze pierced through the clouds of -earth, and rested on the gold pinnacles of Heaven.</p> - -<p>Martin clutched handfuls of the gold ore of earth -and held it clost to his eyes, and so shet out the -sight of the Heavenly City.</p> - -<p>One wuz honestly a-tryin’ to sweep away utterly -the vile sperits of ignorance, evil, and want, etc., etc. -Martin wuz for catchin’ ’em and hitchin’ ’em to his -lawn-mower, to keep the lawn smooth round the -house of his earthly tabernacle.</p> - -<p>Curous extremes as ever met, I believe, and as -interestin’ to witness from day to day as the most -costly and curous menagerie of wild animals would -be.</p> - -<p>But, as I said, Martin’s eyes bein’ formed in jest -that way, he wuzn’t able to hardly see the noble -heathen after that first interview.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</span></p> - -<p>Wall, to go back to the wagon agin and proceed -onwards with my history, or paddle back to the -steamer.</p> - -<p>At last the last minute come—Ury and Philury -had took us to the cars and been shooken by the -hands, and amidst fervent good-byes had been -adjured over and over about the necessity of keepin’ -the cat out of the milk room, and the gate shet between -the garden and paster, etc., etc., etc., etc., -etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>And they had promised faithfully to adhere to -our wishes, and to advise us of the results in weekly -letters.</p> - -<p>We let ’em move right in and have half of everything—butter, -cheese, eggs, wool, black caps, etc. -And they wuz highly tickled as well as we.</p> - -<p>Thomas Jefferson and Maggie had gone with us -to the station, where Whitfield and Tirzah Ann put -in a late appearance, on account of Tirzah’s bein’ -ondecided whether to wear a thick or a thin dress; -the day bein’ one of them curous ones when you -don’t really know whether it will be hazy or warm.</p> - -<p>And they’d come in time to kiss us and clasp our -hands in partin’.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_139" style="max-width: 35em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_139.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>In time to kiss us and clasp our hands in partin’.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>The girls both brought bokays with ’em, and -Babe, the darlin’, brought a bunch of English -violets to send to Adrian, knowin’ that he jest worshipped -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</span>that posy—and it’s one of my favorites, too. -Wall, the last words wuz said to us, Al Faizi had -made his last low bow to the children, and said the -last polite, melodious adieu, and we embarked on to -the cars.</p> - -<p>But I looked back, and I see Tirzah Ann -a-wrestlin’ with her polynay, that had got ketched -into her parasol, and Whitfield a-helpin’ her to ondo -herself.</p> - -<p>And I see Maggie’s sweet, upward look to the -car winder, and met the clear, affectionate, comprehendin’ -look of my boy, Thomas Jefferson.</p> - -<p>It is curous how well acquainted our sperits be -with each other, hisen and mine, and always has -been, from the time when he sot on my lap as a -child. Our souls are clost friends, and would be if -he wuzn’t no kin to me.</p> - -<p>He is a young man of a thousand, and he understands -my mind without my speakin’, and I do -hisen.</p> - -<p>But to resoom. It had been arranged that we -should proceed directly to a hotel that wuz nigh to -the Atlantic, and Martin should call for us there, -his own residence bein’ in a opposite direction.</p> - -<p>We did so, and after a good meal—and we all did -jestice to it, bein’ hungry—a big carriage driv up, -and Martin alighted from it and come in.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</span></p> - -<p>Anon we embarked in it, and after a seen of -almost indescribable tumult, owin’ to the screamin’ -of drivers, the conflict of passin’ wagons and carriages -and dray carts, etc., etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>And after numerous givin’s up on my part that -now indeed wuz the time I wuz to “likewise perish,” -we found ourselves on the big steamer’s deck that -wuz to bear us away from our own native land.</p> - -<p>Lots of folks wuz there a-takin’ leave of friends. -Some wuz weepin’, some wuz laughin’, some wuz -talkin’, and that las’ some wuz multiplied by hundreds -and thousands, seemin’ly.</p> - -<p>And piles of flowers lay round, offerin’s to and -from fond hearts that must sever.</p> - -<p>Adrian had his bunch of sweet blue violets, and -the violets wuzn’t any sweeter than his eyes. And -I, even at the resk of losin’ my umbrell, clutched my -precious bokays—the frail links that seemed to connect -me with my own native Jonesville and my -loved ones there.</p> - -<p>Josiah seemed to be lookin’ round for somebody -he could scrape acquaintance with.</p> - -<p>And Al Faizi stood in that silent way of hisen, -with his dark, ardent face seemin’ly on the lookout -for sunthin’ or other he could learn, and a-seein’ -every move that Alice made, as I could see, though -nobody else noticed it.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</span></p> - -<p>Martin wuz a-flyin’ round, busy a-seein’ to everything. -Alice wuz a little apart a-bendin’ over the -side of the great ship. She seemed to be lookin’ -intently on sunthin’ or somebody on the pier, and -as we sailed off I see her -snowy handkerchief wave -out, and where she’d been -a-lookin’ I see an arm lifted -up and another white handkerchief -wave out a farewell.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp57" id="i_142" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_142.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Her big blue eyes wuz full of tears.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>When I looked clost at -her, I see that her big blue -eyes wuz full of tears.</p> - -<p>As for me, I wuz tryin’ my -best to keep my equilibrum, -for the boat tosted some, and -my equilibrum hain’t what it -would be if it hadn’t had the -rheumatiz so much.</p> - -<p>But my umbrell helped me some; I planted it -down and leaned heavy on it, and in its faithful -companionship and support I found some relief as -I see the land sail swift away from me, seemin’ to -be in a hurry to go somewhere.</p> - -<p>And I sez in my heart—“Good-bye, dear old -Land! you no need to be in sech a hurry to go -back and dissapear<span class="pagenum" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</span> in the distance; no truer lover -did you ever have than she who now witnesses your -swift departure,” and even in my reverie wantin’ to -be exact, I added—“she whose name wuz once -Smith.”</p> - -<p>Quite a while did I stand there until Reason and -also Josiah told me that I had better seek my state-room.</p> - -<p>I don’t find no fault with that room, it probble -wuzn’t its fault that the narrer walls riz up so many -times, and seemed to hit me in my head and -stomach, specially the stomach, and then anon turn -round with me, and teeter, and bow down, and -hump up, and act.</p> - -<p>No; the little room wuzn’t to blame, and my sufferin’s -with Josiah Allen for the three days when he -lay, as he said, in a dyin’ state, right over my -head—</p> - -<p>I a-sufferin’ twice over—once in myself and agin -in my other and more fraxious and worrisome self.</p> - -<p>The wild demeanors, the groans, the frenzied exclamations, -and anon the faint and die-away actions -of that man can’t never be described upon, and if -it could, it would make readin’ that no man would -want to read, nor no woman neither.</p> - -<p>But after a long interval, in which, while I wuz -a-layin’, a-tryin’ in a agonized way to think how I -wanted my effects distributed amongst the survivors—I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</span> -would be called away from that contemplation -to receive my pardner’s last wills and testaments, -and I heard anon or oftener, spoke in solemn -axents—</p> - -<p>“Bury me in the dressin’-gown, Samantha.”</p> - -<p>He clung to that idee, even in his lowest and -most sinkin’est moments.</p> - -<p>I reached up, or tried to, and took holt of his limp -hand that dangled down over my head, and I sez—</p> - -<p>“You will live, Josiah, to wear it out.”</p> - -<p>And as feeble as he wuz, and as much as he had -wanted to die, them words would seem to sooth him -some, and be a paneky to him.</p> - -<p>I repeated ’em often, for they seemed to impress -him where more affectionate and moral arguments -failed.</p> - -<p>But I may as well hang up a double rep curtain -between my hearers and the fearful seens that wuz -enacted in our state-rooms for nearly three days and -nights.</p> - -<p>I hang a rep curtain, so’s it would shelter the seens -more; cretonne is too thin.</p> - -<p>But some of the seens are so agonizin’ and sharp -pinted that they seem to pierce even through that -envelopin’ drapery.</p> - -<p>One of them dagger-like<span class="pagenum" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</span> episodes wuz of the fog -horns.</p> - -<p>If Josiah’s testementary idees and our united -wretchedness would have let me doze off some in -rare intervals, the tootin’ of them horns would be -sure to roust me up.</p> - -<p>Yes, they made the night dretful—ringin’ of bells, -tootin’ of horns, etc.</p> - -<p>And once, it wuz along in the latter part of the -night, I guess, I heard a loud cry a-risin’ above the -fog horn. It seemed to be a female in distress.</p> - -<p>And Josiah wuz all rousted up in a minute.</p> - -<p>And sez he—“Some female is in distress, Samantha! -Where is my dressin’-gown?” Sez he, “I will -go to her rescue!” And he rung the bell wildly for -the stewardess, and acted.</p> - -<p>Sez I—“Josiah Allen, come back to bed! no -woman ever yelled so loud as that and lived! If it is -a female she’s beyend your help now.” And I curdled -down in bed agin, though I felt queer and felt -dretful sorry for her; but felt that indeed that yell -must have been her last, and that she wuz now at -rest.</p> - -<p>But he wuz still wildly arrangin’ his gown, and -hollerin’ for the tossels—they’d slipped off from it.</p> - -<p>“Where is them dum tossels?” he yelled; “must -I hear a female yell like that and not fly to her rescue? -Where is the tossels?” he yelled agin. “You -don’t seem to have no heart, Samantha, or you’d be<span class="pagenum" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</span> -rousted up!”</p> - -<p>“I am rousted up!” sez I; “yes, indeed, I have -been rousted up ever sence I laid my head onto my -piller; but if you wuz so anxious to help and save, -Josiah, you wouldn’t wait for tossels!”</p> - -<p>But at that minute, simultaneous and to once, the -chambermaid come to the door, and he found his -tossels.</p> - -<p>“Who is that female a-screamin’?” sez Josiah, -a-tyin’ the cord in a big bow-knot.</p> - -<p>“That is the Syren,” sez she. And she slammed -the door and went back; she wuz mad to be waked -up for that.</p> - -<p>“The Syren!” sez Josiah; “what did I tell you, -Samantha?” And sez he, a-smoothin’ out the tossels, -“I wouldn’t have missed the sight for a dollar bill! -How lucky I found my tossels!” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Yes, dretful lucky,” sez I faintly, for I wuz wore -completely out by my long night watches, and I felt -fraxious.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he, “I wouldn’t have appeared before -a Syren without them red tossels for no money. I -always wanted to see a Syren!” sez he, a-smoothin’ -out the few hairs on each side of his cranium.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “She wuz probble a-screamin’ for her -lookin’-glass and comb; I’ll go to once on deck. It -is a bad night; if she has missed her comb, <span class="pagenum" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</span>I might -lend her my pocket-comb,” sez he.</p> - -<p>“You let Syrens alone, Josiah Allen!” sez I, gittin’ -rousted up; “you don’t want to meddle with -’em at all! and do you come back to bed.”</p> - -<p>“Not at all,” sez he; “here is the -chance of my lifetime. I’ve always -wanted to see a Syren, and now I’m -a-goin’ to!”</p> - -<p>And he reached up to a peg and took -down his tall plug hat, and put it on -kinder to the side of his head in as -rakish a lookin’ way as you ever see a -deacon’s hat in the world; he then took -his umbrell and started for the door.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp46" id="i_147" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_147.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Then took his umbrell and started for the door.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Agin come that loud and fearful -yell; it did, indeed, seem to be a female -in direst agony.</p> - -<p>“But,” I sez, “I don’t believe that’s any Syren, -Josiah Allen; we read that her voice lures sailors to -foller her; no sailor would be lured by that voice, -it is enough to scare anybody and drive ’em back, -instead of forrered.</p> - -<p>“What occasion would a Syren have to yell in -sech a blood-curdlin’ way, Josiah Allen?”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, put to his wits’ end, “mebby her -hair is all snarled up by the wind and salt water, -and in yankin’ out the snarls, it hurts her so that<span class="pagenum" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</span> she -yells.”</p> - -<p>I see the common sense of this, for the first night -I had used soap and salt water my hair stood out -like quills on my head, and it almost killed me to -comb it out. “But,” sez I, “Syrens are used to wind -storms and salt water. I don’t spoze their hair is -like other folkses.”</p> - -<p>Agin come that fearful, agonizin’ yell.</p> - -<p>Agin Josiah sez—“While we are a-bandyin’ words -back and forth, I am losin’ the sight,” and agin he -made for the door.</p> - -<p>But I follered him and ketched holt of the tossels.</p> - -<p>He paused to once. He feared they would be injured.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Come back to bed; how it would look -in the Jonesville paper to hear that Josiah Allen -had been lured overboard by a Syren, for they -always try to drown men, Josiah!” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Oh, shaw!” sez he; “they never had me to deal -with. I should stand still and argy with her—I always -convince the more opposite sect,” sez he, lookin’ -vain.</p> - -<p>But I see the allusion to drowndin’ made him -hesitate, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“You don’t spoze there is any danger of that, do -you, Samantha? I would give a dollar bill to tell -old Gowdey and Uncle Sime Bentley that I’d<span class="pagenum" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</span> -interviewed a Syren!” sez he. “It would make me -a lion, Samantha, and you a lioness.”</p> - -<p>“I shan’t be made any animal whatsoever, Josiah -Allen, by follerin’ up a Syren at this time of night. -They never did anything but harm, from their -grandmothers’ days down, and men have always -been fooled and drownded by ’em!” sez I; “you -let Syrens alone and come to bed,” sez I; “you’re a -perfessor and a grandfather, Josiah Allen, and I’d -try to act becomin’ to both on em,” sez I.</p> - -<p>He fingered the red tossels lovin’ly.</p> - -<p>“Sech a chance,” sez he, “mebby I never shall -have agin. I don’t spoze any man who ever parlied -with ’em wuz ever so dressy in his appearance, and -so stylish—no knowin’ what would come of it!” -sez he. He hated to give up the idee.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “it’s rainin’ as hard as it can; them -tossels never would come out flossy and beautiful -agin, they would all be limped and squashed down -and spilte.”</p> - -<p>“Do you think so?” sez he anxiously.</p> - -<p>He took off his hat and put down his umbrell, -and sez he—“It may be as well to not foller the -investigation to-night; there will probble be a -chance in fairer weather.”</p> - -<p>But the next day we found <span class="pagenum" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</span>out that the Syren -wuz a thing they fixed onto the fog horn for certain -signals, and Josiah felt glad enough that he hadn’t -made no moves to talk with her.</p> - -<p>I wuz glad on the side of common sense. He on -the account of them tossels.</p> - -<p>But after we found out what it wuz, and all -about it, that fog horn made us feel dretful lonesome -and queer when we heard it, half asleep and -half awake. It would seem as if one half of our -life wuz a-hollerin’ out to the other half.</p> - -<p>Youth and middle age a-callin’ out to each -other——</p> - -<p>“Loss! loss!” and “Gain! gain!” as the case -might be.</p> - -<p>Jonesville and London, “Yell! yell!”</p> - -<p>Love! peace! death! danger! “Shriek! shriek!”</p> - -<p>Them you love who wuz here on earth, and -them who’d gone over the Great Flood, “Shout! -shout!”</p> - -<p>“Ship ahoy! What hail!”</p> - -<p>Queer sounds as I ever hearn floated in on them -high yells, borne by the winds and the washin’ -waves of ocean depths and the misty billows from -Sleep Land, broken up some as they drifted and -mixed with the billows of our own realm.</p> - -<p>But daylight would always seem to calm down -this tumult and bring more lusid and practical -idees.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</span></p> -<p>Wall, the time come when we tottered up on -deck, two pale, thin figgers, to be confronted by -other faces that wuz as wan, and some that wuz -wanner.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp59" id="i_151" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_151.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>We tottered up on deck, two pale, thin figgers.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>But after these days we begun to feel first-rate. -Alice and Adrian had had a hard time of it, so I -had learned before from the stewardess. And I’d -sent ’em lovin’ messages time and agin, and they -me.</p> - -<p>Martin, I don’t believe, had a minute’s sickness, -nor Al Faizi. They both seemed to be real chipper; -though they both seemed to be perfect strangers to -each other; and I spoze they wuz and will be to all -eternity—even if they wuz settin’ on the same seat -on high.</p> - -<p>Their two souls hain’t made right to ever be intimate -with each other.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_VIII">CHAPTER VIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">LANDING IN THE EMERALD ISLE.</p> - -<p>Wall, after all, as much as I wuz afraid of the -deepness and length and breadth of the ocean, I -had a pretty good time, after all.</p> - -<p>Somehow, I got to feelin’ that the ship wuz a big -city, and I got to feelin’ as if it wuz about as safe as -the land.</p> - -<p>We d’no what is a-goin’ on under us on land—no, -indeed, we don’t, and if we git to forgittin’ it, we -often git a shake-up and a hunch from old Mom -Nater to let us know that we are entirely ignorant -of what she’s a-doin’ down in the depths of the -earth.</p> - -<p>Yes, we git shook up with earthquakes, or cyclones -lift us up and sweep us off, and hurricanes -and water-spouts are abroad, and cars break down, -and horses throw us out of wagons, etc., etc.</p> - -<p>I’d bring up these consolin’ thoughts a sight -when I’d be a-layin’ on my narrer piller and -a-thinkin’ that only a few boards wuz between me -and—what? And I’d kinder shudder and turn -over, and try to forgit it.</p> - -<p>How cold the water wuz and <span class="pagenum" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</span>how deep, and how -lonesome it would be a-sinkin’ down, and down, -and down, and how big the shark’s mouth wuz, -and how the cold, bitter, chokin’ waves would wash -anythin’ to and fro like a piece of weed, and sweep -one so fur off and so fur down that it didn’t seem -as if the Angel of the Resurrection could ever find -us!</p> - -<p>But I spoze he could.</p> - -<p>It stands to reason that we could as well be found -in a shark as in some poseys that grow up from the -dust of our body, and whose perfume exhale in the -mornin’ dew goin’ up to the clouds, fallin’ in rain, -and goin’ through countless forms before the resurrection.</p> - -<p>Oh! did I not bring up all these thoughts anon -or oftener? And did I not say to myself, time and -agin, for my comfort and consolation, “The One -who formed me out of nothin’ is able to reform -me.” Yes, my best comfort wuz to ask the One -who careth for ’em who go down to the sea in -ships to care for me, and to rest in that thought.</p> - -<p>To lay down in the depths of that wide love and -care and repose myself in it.</p> - -<p>Wall, we had a pretty good time on board. -There wuz lots of different kinds of folks there, -jest as there always is on land.</p> - -<p>I had hearn that there wuz a live<span class="pagenum" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</span> English Lord -on board, and Josiah picked him out the first time -we went on deck.</p> - -<p>Yes, there he wuz, as we spozed, a tall, slim, -supercilious-actin’ and lookin’ feller, who ordered -round the ship’s crew, and wuz dissatisfied with his -food, and snubbed the ocean, and felt that it hadn’t -no need to breathe so loud, and looked askance at -the Heavens if the day wuz dull.</p> - -<p>Yes, he looked down on everybody and everything. -And Josiah sez—“He can’t help it, he wuz -brung up that way; he is a Lord.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “Lord or not, he acts like a fool!” -Sez I, “He might lower his nose once in awhile to -rest it.”</p> - -<p>Truly, he held it right up in the air the hull of -the time.</p> - -<p>But come to find out, that feller wuz a Grocer’s -clerk, who wuz a-makin’ his first trip, and felt as if -Heaven and earth wuz a-watchin’ and admirin’ his -move.</p> - -<p>And the Lord we found out wuz a short, square-built -man, dressed in rough tweed, so jolly and full -of fun that his wife had to hold him back all the -time.</p> - -<p>She would have been glad to had him put on -some dignity and things, but he wouldn’t.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp41" id="i_157" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_157.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>The lord with a pink paper suit on.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>One night some pretty American girls give<span class="pagenum" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</span> a -dance, and they handed round some little favors -that looked like big nuts, and when you opened -’em a hull tissue-paper suit come out on ’em, and -that Lord come out with a pink paper suit on, and -went round through the dance half bent, for the -skirt wuz but short, with a woman’s ruffled cap on, -and a dress.</p> - -<p>His wife seemed to suffer agonies. Her pride -ached, I spozed. But his didn’t; he wuz as happy -as a lark, and didn’t put on any more airs than -any common medder lark would.</p> - -<p>I liked him first-rate, but that clerk wuz austere -and exclusive to the last. He wouldn’t mingle -with us.</p> - -<p>He wuz a-travellin’ abroad. And, to use a common -adage, usually applied to horses—“He felt -his oats.”</p> - -<p>Wall, they got up a paper on board and printed -it on a typewriter—the Lord furnishin’ most of the -jokes for it.</p> - -<p>And then they had a peanut-party, and the Lord -carried the most of anybody on the back of his -hand and got the prize—3 long strings of glass -beads, and he wore ’em all the evenin’, to his wife’s -horrow.</p> - -<p>But the clerk, whose father kep’ a peanut-stand, -and who had dwelt with ’em all the days of his -youth, he thought it wuz a vulgar party, and he<span class="pagenum" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</span> -looked at peanuts as if he knew ’em not.</p> - -<p>There wuz times when the sea wuz rough, and -Josiah and I retired to the cabin, and for hours -bemoaned our fate and wondered if we -should ever agin see the cliffs of Jonesville.</p> - -<p>And on one heavey day, when the floor -of our cell seemed to rise up and smite us -in the pits of our stumicks, Josiah made -his will, and handed it to me, with a face -on which love and agony and fear appeared, -about a third of each on ’em.</p> - -<p>Sez he, in a voice tremblin’ with emotion—“Take -my last tribute of love, and,” -sez he, “have it recorded, or it may be -broke.”</p> - -<p>“But,” sez I, “dear Josiah”—for his -love awoke my own; it had been havin’ -a nap while I wuz a-wrestlin’ with the elements, and -furniture that wuz a-tryin’ to upset me.</p> - -<p>Sez I—“If you die, I, too, shall perish. So what -avails a will?”</p> - -<p>He hadn’t thought of that, and sez he, a-speakin’ -out feebly from his bunk with his eyes shet—</p> - -<p>“You’re fat; you may float,” sez he; “my prize -shoat did that slipped out of the wagon fordin’ the -creek.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</span></p> - -<p>Sez I, in the same faint axents—truly our two -voices wuz as feeble as a pair of feeble cats, and -weaker—sez I, “I always said you would twit me -of my heft on your death-bed if the subject come -up, and you had your conscientiousness.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I’ve showed my love to you—I have -left you everything onconditional. You can marry -agin.” Sez he, “This is no time for selfishness and -jealousy.”</p> - -<p>“Marry agin!” sez I feebly; “what do I want -of another pardner? Heaven knows, I don’t -know!”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” says he tenderly, for my words touched -him—“you may feel different when you hain’t so -sick to your stumick.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, “and you may, too!”</p> - -<p>He had never made a will before that left me -onhampered, and I felt that when his legs wuz -firmer under him, and his stumick and head wuz -steadier, that he, too, might undergo a change.</p> - -<p>And he did.</p> - -<p>It wuz a bright, calm day. He felt well, and I -see him the next mornin’ a furtively tearin’ up that -will and a-strewin’ the torn bits out of the port-hole -winder.</p> - -<p>As he did<span class="pagenum" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</span> so his hands got entangled in a cord -I’d made out of weltin’ cord.</p> - -<p>And sez he, a-lookin’ down onto it—“In the -name of the gracious Peter! what is this?”</p> - -<p>He thought in a minute of rope ladders and -troubadors—he acted jealous.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “It is some handkerchiefs that I am -a-washin’ in the Atlantic Ocean, Josiah.”</p> - -<p>He didn’t know I wuz awake, and it startled -him. And sez he—</p> - -<p>“How did you ever come to think on’t?”</p> - -<p>“I d’no,” sez I; “but I thought it would be -sunthin’ to think on, to say I had used the Atlantic -for a washtub.”</p> - -<p>Sez he—“Wash one of mine, Samantha. I’d -love to tell Deacon Garvin on’t.”</p> - -<p>Sez I—“Your second best bandanna is on the -line.”</p> - -<p>He looked down onto the heavin’ billows with -content, and sez he—“I’m as hungry as a bear.”</p> - -<p>That mornin’ the sea lay calm and beautiful. -The sun riz up on it and flooded it with delicious -waves of color; the east wuz a flame of color, and -the crest of the heavin’ billows wuz aflame with -gold and crimson and amethyst, and fur off some -tall icebergs loomed up like cold, pale ghosts, -a-hantin’ us with a vague sense of danger, like the -undertone of sadness that underlays all things the -most beautiful and grand.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</span></p> - -<p>Then there wuz moonlight evenin’s, when the -moon shone down full and clear, and the glorified -sky and the glorified water seemed to be a part of -each other, and the long and deep rythm of the -waves seemed to bear us up with ’em in a grand -hymn that all creation wuz a-chantin’.</p> - -<p>And then there wuz misty days, when clouds of -fog settled down round us like gray, mysterious -wings, a-holdin’ us clost in their folds of mystery, -when we knew not what wuz a yard in front of -us; when we sailed on, blind creeters, not a-knowin’ -what we wuz a-comin’ bunt up aginst—a iceberg, -or another ship, or jest the open space ahead. -When the cries of the fog-horn seemed to be a-hollerin’ -out—</p> - -<p>“Git out of the way, we’re a-comin’!”</p> - -<p>But how could a iceberg hear and wheel round? -No, it hadn’t come down from the pole for no -sech a purpose, it wuz a-goin’ straight ahead.</p> - -<p>Them wuz solemn times, and we would think -that we couldn’t never forgit ’em.</p> - -<p>But we did. When the sun shone bright agin, we -wuz ready to forgit the sorrer and danger of the -night and be happy agin. And at times, fur off on the -fur, watery plain—fur off ahead, we would see a sail.</p> - -<p>Nearer and nearer it would come, and then go<span class="pagenum" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</span> -by us and dissapear in the horizen back of us—meetin’ -and partin’ at some distance without a -word; some like human bein’s goin’ by each other -on the ocean of Life. Separate worlds full of -human life and interest meetin’ and partin’, floatin’ -by onbeknown.</p> - -<p>I took a strange and a mysterious comfort sometimes -a-bendin’ over the sides of the ship and -lookin’ fur down into the depths of the water and -a-seein’ huge forms a-playin’ down in their strange, -green depths, or imaginin’ I could. And I took -a kind of dretful enjoyment a-ponderin’ on what -would foller on and ensue if I should fall off -and plunge down into the liquid depths. But -them thoughts wuz too full of or to indulge in -long. They driv me back to the side of my beloved -pardner, or the society of little Adrian and -Alice.</p> - -<p>Adrian knew everybody on board, and everybody -loved him. But, above all, he liked a sailor -called Mike. From all I could learn, that seaman -racked his brain to tell all sorts of wild sea stories -to the child.</p> - -<p>I d’no as I’ve told about Josiah’s appetite durin’ -that voyage. My pardner’s appetite wuz always -a strong subject, but now it wuz exceedingly queer.</p> - -<p>After he got over his seasickness, most the first<span class="pagenum" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</span> -words he said, and they come right after his “good-by” -and partin’ words to me, though some time -after—he waked up out of a deep sleep, and the -first words he said to me wuz, in middlin’ feeble -axents—</p> - -<p>“Do you spoze, Samantha, I could git a little -biled beef and cabbage, and some pork and beans?”</p> - -<p>He had been a-livin’ on water gruel, and the -words almost startled me. But I obtained the -ingregients with some trouble, and as I bore them -in, a large platter full of each, he looked up dretful -feeble and languishin’, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“Set ’em down by the bed, Samantha, and -mebby I could eat a bean, or part of one.”</p> - -<p>“Part of one bean” didn’t sound very encouragin’, -but I set ’em down, and the next time I -see them platters, about ten minutes afterwards, -they wuz both clean as though they had been -swept and garnished.</p> - -<p>And from that minute he gained on’t. My own -first hankerin’ after I got better wuz for a biled -dinner. Of course, I couldn’t git that, but I exchanged -milk porridge for roast pork, and sassige, -and cabbage hot slaw the first thing, and -felt satisfied and happy with the change.</p> - -<p>Curous, hain’t it? If I’d been on land I believe -they would a-killed me, but I thrived on the -diet.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</span></p> - -<p>Wall, I never shall forgit how good the land -looked to me as I looked fur forrerds over the -heavin’ billows of blue, and see the beautiful green -shores of Queenstown a-risin’ up ahead.</p> - -<p>Adrian said, “Auntie, is that the Emerald Isle, -and are the hills all covered with emeralds, like -Alice’s ring?” Sez he, “Mike told me they -were.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Don’t you pay any attention to what -Mike sez. The hills are jest covered with soft, -green grass that would look enough sight better to -me than any jewelled stuns would.”</p> - -<p>Al Faizi stood motionless, lookin’ on the fair -seen ahead, as if he wuz a-lookin’ over the Swellin’s -of Jordan into the Promised Land; part of the -time that riz up look rested on Alice’s sweet face.</p> - -<p>Alice and Martin wuz a-walkin’ arm-in-arm up -and down the deck, as much took up with the -sight as we wuz, only Martin thought it looked -more wise to not act tickled and enthuastick -about it.</p> - -<p>That is the first rule in etiket with some folks, to -not act tickled and glad about anything, but to -look as stunny and onmoved at a masterpiece of -Art, or a towerin’ Alp, as at a plate of cold ham.</p> - -<p>Josiah, he wuz a-worryin’ about the tug that wuz<span class="pagenum" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</span> -to take us on shore.</p> - -<p>“A tug!” sez he; “I don’t like that name, it -don’t sound reliable. If it is a good convenience, -why is it sech a tug to it to carry us?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Be calm, Josiah, everything will come -out right.”</p> - -<p>And sez he, “One of the passengers called it a -‘tender.’ If it is so tender, I don’t believe it is -safe. Tenderness means weakness,” says he.</p> - -<p>“Not always,” sez I, “quite the reverse.” But -I see that it wuz no time to plunge into metaphysicks -and prove to him what I knew well, that -“the bravest are the tenderest—the lovin’ are the -darin’.”</p> - -<p>Then sez he, “If we ever live to git into that -tug, we have got to have our baggage all overhauled -by the Custom House Officers.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “what of it? We hain’t nothin’ -to conceal or cover up.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “that dressin’-gown of mine will -jest as likely as not be all throwed round and -mussed up. It worries me!” sez he.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Don’t worry, Josiah Allen; it is good -rep, and it will stand a good overhaulin’ and not -hurt it.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “them tossels can’t be handled -over by all Ireland and come out hull and sound. -It is nothin’ but dum foolishness to have to go<span class="pagenum" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</span> -through all them performances.”</p> - -<p>But his worryin’ wuz worse than the reality. -For anon we sailed into Cork harbor, and got into -the tug that come out to meet us. The officers -jest give our things the lightest examination possible. -They didn’t throw things around at all, -and they wuz real polite, only in one thing—they -asked us if we had tobacco or sperits.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp60" id="i_166" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_166.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>With a stern look, calculated to wither him.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Josiah never took his eyes offen that dressin’-gown -through the hull of the ordeal, and he -wuz foldin’ them tossels lovin’ly as soon as they -dropped his satchel, when I wuz lookin’ back and -a-wonderin’ at the size of the steamer that loomed -up above us some like a cliff.</p> - -<p>As I say, the man with the officers asked me if -I had sperits or tobacco in my luggage.</p> - -<p>I confronted him with a stern look, calculated -to wither him, and sez I—</p> - -<p>“Do I look like it, sir?”</p> - -<p>“Look like what?” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Like a old toper who carrys round whiskey -and a pipe?” Sez I, “I never drink a drop -stronger than coffee, half cream, and I never -smoked a pipe in my life, only once I smoked a -little mullen for asthma.”</p> - -<p>He felt ashamed, jest as I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</span> wanted him to. He -see the power of principle, and he didn’t hardly -touch my things.</p> - -<p>Wall, it wuz no wonder that Josiah worried -some. These things were new to us. He and I -wuz, as you may say, the -only students and novices -in travellin’ in the hull -party, for Al Faizi had -been everywhere, his conversation -wuz enriched by -allusions to every land.</p> - -<p>And Alice had been to -Paris to school for three -years. And Martin had -took her over and went -after her. He often spoke -of his familiarity with foreign -life and the exhaustive -study he had made in -foreign fields. “There -wuz little left for him to -see,” he claimed.</p> - -<p>He had took Alice over and went after her, -but went with lightnin’ speed only when he -wuz bed-sick. So Alice told me with her own -lips.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</span></p> -<p>He boasted a sight of his intimacy with foreign -ways and customs.</p> - -<p>Wall, did it not seem good to set our feet on -land once more! But I wuz almost ashamed to see -the way my pardner reeled round, for he acted for -all the world as if he had been a-drinkin’. I wuz -jest a-goin’ to mention it to him when he whispered -to me—</p> - -<p>“Hang on to me, Samantha,” sez he; “I will -never tell on’t in the world.”</p> - -<p>“Tell of what?” sez I, as I made a effort to -stand up straight and strong.</p> - -<p>“Why,” sez he, “if you took a little too much -sling for that cold of yourn, I hain’t one to throw -it in your face.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “That Stewardess wuz always a-recomendin’ -it.”</p> - -<p>“Sling!” sez I coldly; “I hain’t took a drop of -anything stronger than tea, and,” sez I, “knowin’ -my principles as you do, I should think you’d be -ashamed of yourself to misuse a pardner in this -shameful way!”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “you can’t walk straight to save -your life! and,” sez he, “you grew so indignant on -the tug at that man, that one would almost mistrust -you.”</p> - -<p>I see that there wuz some reason in his talk, for -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</span>too much indignation looks like guilt, lots of -times.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “You talk about my reelin’ round; what -are you doin’?” sez I, as his knees crooked and he -crumpled down like one intoxicated.</p> - -<p>Wall, he gin up that it wuz the effects of the -ship, and erelong we were in a good, clean tarvern -and had breakfast.</p> - -<p>After breakfast we wuz indeed glad to lay down -and rest for a little while, and then, as the rest of -the party had all sallied out, my Josiah and me -took a walk all to ourselves, or that is what we had -lotted on.</p> - -<p>But of all the droves of beggars that follered us, -I never see the beat—nasty and shiftless and talkin’ -and teasin’ the very life out on us.</p> - -<p>I gin ’em a few cents in order to git rid on ’em.</p> - -<p>But the more I gin the more they follered on. -So I jest shet up my portmoney and put it into my -pocket.</p> - -<p>Josiah poohed at ’em and didn’t give a cent, and -didn’t approve of the three cents I’d expended.</p> - -<p>Till one old woman whispered to him, and I -hearn her say—</p> - -<p>“I see, young man, that you are good to your -old mother; won’t you for her sake give me a -shilling?”</p> - -<p>He wavered—he<span class="pagenum" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</span> almost gin it to her. Sez she—“I -will pray for blessin’s on your handsome -young head.”</p> - -<p>He handed her the shillin’ with a happy, foolish -look, which lasted till she come round to my side, -and she whispered to me—</p> - -<p>“My pretty young lady, give me a sixpence. -Your poor old father has give me a gift, and do not -let your own young heart be harder nor his.”</p> - -<p>His liniment darkened rapidly, and he hurried -me through the narrer streets, full of shops and tarverns; -and he did not console himself as I did by -lookin’ up on the steep hill and seein’ the handsome -residences—no, he seemed cut to the heart.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin said when we got back that we -would go up to Cork at once, as he wuz anxious to -see all he could in Ireland as rapidly as possible.</p> - -<p>He said that in a week at the outside he thought -we could exhaust all the sight-seein’ in Ireland and -git to the bottom of the “Irish Question.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “you’ll do well if you do that.”</p> - -<p>And I didn’t make no moves to break it up, and -we wuz soon a-ridin’ through the beautiful green -country. And we seen on each side on us “sweet -fields arrayed in livin’ green.”</p> - -<p>Never wuz there sech velvety grass, and the -roads wuz as smooth and as hard as a pavement.</p> - -<p>Stun walls run along, with their soft, gray color,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</span> -and anon a hedge, birds, and flowers would break -the seen. And little, low cottages covered with -vines dotted the landscape here and there; and -now and then a chapel would point its spire up -into the blue overhead.</p> - -<p>Once in awhile a queer rig with seats rigged out -back to back, drawed by horses, and full of folks, -and once in awhile a smaller cart drawed by a -donkey, and once in awhile a woman with a red or -blue cloak and a white cap, and a man with short -pantaloons and coat.</p> - -<p>And so we rid on, green underneath, blue overhead, -until we arrived in Cork.</p> - -<p>Wall, we put up at the Imperial Hotel. Everything -wuz clean and sweet about the house, and we -had plenty to eat, and that wuz good. It wuz indeed -a comfort. And the waiters wuz dretful civil -and eager to please.</p> - -<p>It beats all, the difference in their actions here -and in Jonesville.</p> - -<p>I’ve had Irish wimmen work for me who seemed -to look down on me, and accepted their dollar a -day hautily; but here they would thankfully receive -their sixpence a day, and treat you like a lady, too, -which is more ’n half the battle.</p> - -<p>Queer, hain’t it? But human nater is human -nater, and even a little child, if she has been tyranized -over by her Ma, will misuse her dolly or the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</span> -cat. I spoze that trait in nater can’t be helped -from caperin’ when it gits a chance.</p> - -<p>Wall, the next day Martin said he “wanted to -go to Blarney Castle for several reasons.”</p> - -<p>He didn’t say what they wuz, but I spoze one of -’em wuz that old reason of hisen about wantin’ to -do what other folks did. And then, mebby, he -wanted to try to palaver better than he had palavered.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</span> -Tenny rate, we all set out for the castle -next mornin’ after breakfast.</p> - -<p>We went in what they call a “jauntin’ car.” -The passengers sot back to back, but as my Josiah -wuz placed by my side I did not mind it.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp84" id="i_171" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_171.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>We went in what they call a “jauntin’ car.”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>On one side sot we two, and Al Faizi, on the -other Martin and his children.</p> - -<p>Wall, the view wuz enchantin’ beyend description. -The road wuz as smooth and level as smooth glass, -bordered by hedges full of pure white and other -colored poseys, a-fillin’ the air full of perfume, and -the cottages and every old tower and ruin wuz covered -with the glossy green of the ivy.</p> - -<p>It wuz a fair seen—a fair seen!</p> - -<p>Nater duz her best in Ireland, anyway. She -seems to delight to cover the meanest things—old -straw-thatched cabins, and stuns, and everything—with -a robe of the richest, brightest green; mebby -she wants to kinder make up to the Irish for what -they hain’t got, Jestice and comfort and sech, and -mebby, agin, it is the moist climate.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_IX">CHAPTER IX.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">A VISIT TO BLARNEY CASTLE.</p> - -<p>Anon we reached the old castle, for when anything -gits to be six hundred years old you can well -call it old. Why, I should call Josiah dretful old -if he wuz over six hundred years old.</p> - -<p>It towers up considerable high—a hundred feet, -anyway. Some of its walls are eight or ten feet -thick. Al Faizi asked what they had sech thick -walls for.</p> - -<p>And Martin told him it wuz built so to keep -enemies from breakin’ in and killin’ the inhabitants -of the castle.</p> - -<p>He looked dretful thoughtful, and then he -asked what made them big holes in the walls.</p> - -<p>Martin said that Cromwell made ’em 200 years -ago. Sez Martin, “Cromwell made the land red -with blood.”</p> - -<p>“Was he not a great religious leader among your -people?” said Al Faizi—“a Reformer?”</p> - -<p>“Yes.”</p> - -<p>“Did he not preach the doctrine of peace, love -to your enemies, good will?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, of course he did,” sez<span class="pagenum" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</span> Martin.</p> - -<p>“Why did he kill so many men, then?” sez Al -Faizi.</p> - -<p>“To make the other men behave themselves,” -sez Martin.</p> - -<p>“Kill them to make them act better?”</p> - -<p>“The Catholics and the Protestants both fought -in the name of their religion, and tortured and killed -and slaughtered thousands and thousands of men -and women.”</p> - -<p>“For the sake of religion?” sez Al Faizi. And -he took out his book and wrote rapidly for awhile, -but he didn’t say nothin’.</p> - -<p>“It was a case of killing or being killed,” sez -Martin. “It was a religious war.”</p> - -<p>“A religious war?” sez Al Faizi dreamily. -“Where was His teaching, the divine Christ, ‘Love -your enemies, do good to them that persecute -you’?”</p> - -<p>“That won’t work,” sez Martin; “those words -are good in peace, but in danger they don’t work -worth a cent.”</p> - -<p>Al Faizi looked up slowly to Martin’s face; in -his eyes wuz a shinin’ light, a softness, a tenderness -sech as made his face shine, and underneath it all -wuz a sort of a innocent, wonderin’ look, which I -spoze would be called primitive and oncivilized.</p> - -<p>Martin’s face looked commercial and successful,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</span> -sharp and shrewd, and what he called civilized.</p> - -<p>I had quite a number of thoughts as I looked on -the two men, over a dozen and a half, anyway.</p> - -<p>Alice and Adrian wuz pickin’ some of the green -ivy sprays, and they brung ’em to me and wanted -me to look at ’em.</p> - -<p>Sez Alice, “Some of this ivy that grows here so -wild and luxuriant—acres of it, it seems to me—is -just the kind that we see little slips of in our green-houses -at home; do you see how beautiful it is?”</p> - -<p>And she held up a few of the glossy leaves to Al -Faizi.</p> - -<p>He glanced at it, and then beyend into her sweet, -uplifted face.</p> - -<p>“Yes, I see how beautiful it is,” he sez softly, and -he ended his words with a deep sithe.</p> - -<p>And a shadder settled down over his face, and he -turned to his writin’ agin.</p> - -<p>As for Alice, she see nothin’, but kep’ a-gatherin’ -her ivy sprays and a-singin’ to herself in her low, -sweet voice—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent10">“I give thee an ivy leaf,</div> - <div class="verse indent14">Only an ivy leaf,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Oh, wear it forever, love, nearest thy heart.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>I knew very well who she wuz aposthrofizin’ in -her own heart entirely onbeknown to her as she wuz -hummin’ over little snatches of the song and -a-pickin’ the glowin’ green sprays. And I knew<span class="pagenum" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</span> -that the affection and constancy that dwelt in her -soul wuz as deathless as that ivy and fur more -clingin’ and beautiful.</p> - -<p>Martin had climbed up to the elevation where -the Blarney Stun hung suspended two feet below -the surface, fastened by iron clamps.</p> - -<p>But he wouldn’t resk his neck by bein’ lowered -down to that place, but he kissed a little chunk that -layed on the ground inside the castle, for I see -him.</p> - -<p>And so did Josiah, though I didn’t advise him to.</p> - -<p>Josiah, a-lookin’ up from below, had been makin’ -calculations on how he could be lowered down to -the big Blarney Stun on the ruff.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “It wuz a oversight in me not takin’ a -rope; but,” sez he, all rousted up, as his ardent, impulsive -way is, sez he, “I might take that mantilly -you’ve got on.”</p> - -<p>It bein’ a cool day I’d worn it.</p> - -<p>“And you, and Martin, and Fazer could hang -holt of one end, and tie the other end round my -waist. I could be lowered down and kiss it and -not git a hair of my head hurt.”</p> - -<p>I glanced pityin’ly at his bald head, and sez I -coldly—</p> - -<p>“How would<span class="pagenum" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</span> it be with the tabs?”</p> - -<p>“Oh,” sez he, “it might stretch ’em a little, but -if a pardner wouldn’t be willin’ to resk a tab for -her husband, she can’t think much on him.”</p> - -<p>And he prepared to mount the steep, a-holdin’ -out his hand for the mantilly.</p> - -<p>I stood still, foldin’ my tabs round me more -clost.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “You talk a sight about your feelin’s for -me, and now you put a mantilly ahead of ’em. I -hain’t equal in your mind to a tab,” sez he bitterly.</p> - -<p>A thought struck aginst me. “No, Josiah,” -sez I, “you use my mantilly to-day, and to-morrer -we will come back, and I will use the tossels on -your dressin’-gown.” (They wuz stout ones—stout -as a rope almost.)</p> - -<p>He looked dumbfoundered. “Use them tossels?” -sez he.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I; “you can’t think much of me if -you put them tossels ahead of me.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “Them tossels hain’t a-goin’ to be used -to lift a ton’s weight. I might as well give ’em up -to once as to misuse ’em so.”</p> - -<p>“Then I hain’t as much importance in your mind -as a tossel?” sez I; and he admitted that I wuzn’t -half so good lookin’.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “less gin up the idee, both on us.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “Didn’t you bring sunthin’ to eat with<span class="pagenum" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</span> -you? I’m as hungry as a bear.”</p> - -<p>So I gladly led him away from the stairs leadin’ -to Danger and Blarney, and we found a good, clean -spot, and spread out our refreshin’ lunch that we -had brung with us to refresh ourselves with, and -Josiah did indeed do jestice to it; but that dear -man always duz do that, at home or in more foreign -climes.</p> - -<p>Yes, indeed!</p> - -<p>Wall, the day passed away with no particular -coincedences.</p> - -<p>We went home by another road that led through -the valley, by meetin’-housen and horsepitals, jails, -etc., and amongst the rest we see Father Mathew’s -statute.</p> - -<p>And if you’ll believe it—but I don’t spoze you -will—all round the statute of that man, who spent -his hull life a-fightin’ aginst intemperance, is a hull -lot of drinkin’ places. As if they calculate to keep -right on a-tormentin’ even his statute.</p> - -<p>But they’ve no need to try it, good old creeter! -He himself has got beyend the toil and the heart-aches -caused by others’ sin and weaknesses.</p> - -<p>He has got to the place where he is not plagued -and heart-broken by the sight of that sin and folly, -for what duz it say—</p> - -<p>“There are no drunkards<span class="pagenum" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</span> there.”</p> - -<p>Good old soul!</p> - -<p>Keep on a-sellin’ your accursed stuff right under -the marble nose of his statute if you want to, or -pour whiskey over it, you can’t git nigh to him, -this hero, this martyr, who give his life, and has now -found it in glory.</p> - -<p>But to resoom.</p> - -<p>Wall, the next mornin’ we sot off in a carriage -for Killarney.</p> - -<p>There wuz some sort of a meetin’ that day, and -the bells wuz a-ringin’ as we rode along.</p> - -<p>Mebby amongst ’em wuz the Bells of Shandon.</p> - -<p>I shouldn’t wonder; I sort o’ listened to the -sound of ’em with my soul, but I d’no as I could -recognize ’em so’s to tell ’em from the other bells.</p> - -<p>Our souls hain’t learnt our mortal ears yet, as it -would love to, as it will in the futer.</p> - -<p>But it seemed as though I could hear as we rode -along the Bells of Shandon.</p> - -<p>And thoughts of what I’d seen in a face the -day before kinder chimed in with the sweet, melancholy -sounds.</p> - -<p>As it happened, Al Faizi sot by me, and I, -a-feelin’ that I had a duty to do, and a-layin’ out -to do it if I got a chance, I kinder brung the conversation -round to Alice; and as I spoke of her -sweetness and charm, the strangest look come into -his eyes you ever see, and he sez to <span class="pagenum" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</span>me, jest as -though I wuz a-beholdin’ his secret thoughts onbeknown -to him—“I have a vow—I am wedded to -the cause of truth.”</p> - -<p>He said it with a deep shadder settlin’ down over -his glowin’ eyes. And then with Duty and Pity -a-bolsterin’ me up on both sides, I sez—</p> - -<p>“Alice is engaged to another feller.”</p> - -<p>He looked full at me as curous a look as I ever -see in my life—what did I see in his eyes, or ruther -what didn’t I see? I see Religion, Devotion, -Deathless Human Love, warm, glowin’, eager Renunciation, -Pity for himself (I could see plain that -he wuz sorry for himself—sorry as a dog), Eager -Zeal, Pity for the hull world layin’ in wickedness.</p> - -<p>It wuz a strange look.</p> - -<p>And I never said anythin’ to him, only the look -I gin him in answer, where deep pity and admiration -and respect blended about half and half. And -a motherly look of full comprehension and sympathy -a-shinin’ out a-tellin’ him that I knew all, and -pitied all, and would never tell anybody what I -knew.</p> - -<p>We had volumes of conversation in jest them two -looks, and no one wuz the wiser—I told nobody.</p> - -<p>But, indeed, this secret knowledge added a ingregient -of as deep curosity as wuz ever carried round -by a menagerie as a side show, for me to transport<span class="pagenum" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</span> -round from place to place, or wherever we pitched -our tent on our tower.</p> - -<p>Yes, truly, things wuz in as curous a state as I -ever see, so fur as the affections and sech wuz concerned.</p> - -<p>Alice a-bein’ wropped up in the thoughts of her -feller, and her father a-bein’ determined to not let -her so much as think on him.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi wropped up in Alice, speakin’ to nobody -only in the soul language of the eye, anon or oftener, -and nobody but me a-knowin’ it, but I a-knowin’ it -for certain.</p> - -<p>Alice a-bein’ adored by a heathen!</p> - -<p>Queer feelin’s it gin me and queerer still to read -in that heathen’s eyes the knowledge that she had -nothin’ to fear from him—she would never have -even an appeal to her pity in futer days.</p> - -<p>As she sot by her husband’s side a-holdin’ a baby’s -head on her bosom, she would never look down -into its sweet eyes and think with pity of lonely, -despairin’ eyes that wuz facin’ a lonely, empty -futer.</p> - -<p>No; that heroic soul kep’ its own secrets. Why, -you can be a hero in anything—even boots and -galluses, and sech, if you bear pinchin’ from ’em -without complaint (Josiah never could, he groaned -audibly and frequent unless his galluses wuz jest<span class="pagenum" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</span> -right).</p> - -<p>And Adrian, a happy little soul, pleased with -everything, and a-praisin’ himself up jest as calm as -he did castles and cathedrals, and jest as innocent.</p> - -<p>And Martin a-bearin’ himself up with dignity, -near-sighted as ever when it come to recognizin’ -American bores and curous tourists.</p> - -<p>And Josiah and I in our usual attitude of rapt -devotion to each other, which is our two most -striking traits (a good deal of the time they be).</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_X">CHAPTER X.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">KILLARNEY, DUBLIN, AND A WAKE.</p> - -<p>Martin said that he wouldn’t for the world -have folks ask him if he had visited the Lakes of -Killarney, and have to say no.</p> - -<p>And I believe that thought kep’ him up through -all the long day’s journey and the two nights and -one day we spent there.</p> - -<p>I don’t believe he had any deeper feelin’s and -more riz up ones when he looked at them three -beautiful lakes, with the mountains a-standin’ up all -round ’em with bare heads.</p> - -<p>Yes, you’d think them old mountains had took -their green caps off and wuz lookin’ down on ’em -with deep reverence and respect. They wuz so -exquisitely beautiful.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_184" style="max-width: 35em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_184.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Three beautiful lakes.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>But Martin, mebby, can’t be expected to be as riz -up and as elevated as them peaks; anyway, he acted -out his nater, which wuz to see everything he could -see, to stand round with his hands in his pockets if -he felt like it, or if he wuz kinder tired, to lean back -and shet up his eyes and rest and have his body -dragged along through the places, so’s he could say -he had been in ’em.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</span></p> -<p>And Al Faizi acted out his nater, which wuz to -stand like a devotee before a shrine as the beauty of -them seens busted onto him.</p> - -<p>And in noticin’ that the rich, highly cultivated -lower lands layin’ about the lakes wuz all fenced in -with high walls, and that one or two men owned -hundreds and thousands of acres, sacred to the use -of some animals they wanted to hunt down for -pleasure once or twice durin’ the year, while -hundreds and thousands of poor human bein’s wuz -starvin’ all round the borders of these immense -estates.</p> - -<p>Livin’ in miserable, rotten cabins, so poor that -one of these rich men would not think of lettin’ -one of his beasts stay in ’em for a night. Immortal -souls for whom Christ died hungry, starvin’ for a -crust and dyin’ for a bit of the luxury that wuz -wasted upon dumb brutes.</p> - -<p>In noticin’ this, Martin sithed to think that them -men wuzn’t to home, so that he could call on ’em.</p> - -<p>He said that he would love to say that he had -met ’em.</p> - -<p>But Al Faizi, after askin’ all he could about the -estates of the two or three wealthy men and the -thousands of starvin’ ones round ’em, looked -dretful thoughtful, and took out his little book -with the cross and star on’t and writ a lot <span class="pagenum" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</span>in it.</p> - -<p>And Martin spoke of its bein’ jest as bad in the -north of Scotland, where the Crofters can hardly -git enough food to keep from starvin’. And they -live in sech huts as no man would keep his animals in.</p> - -<p>Big families of boys and girls huddled together -like pigs in one small room, with a open fireplace -in the middle, with no chimney and no ruff, nothin’ -but rotten straw; the smoke blindin’ their eyes, -and nothin’ to eat hardly.</p> - -<p>And as miserable as this hovel is, the landlord is -liable to turn ’em out at any time to make room -for happier and better cared-for animals—sheep, -deer, etc., etc.</p> - -<p>As Al Faizi hearn this his face looked sad and -thoughtful, and he wrote down quick a good deal -in that little book of hisen.</p> - -<p>I think Martin liked it. He thought he wuz -takin’ notes of his conversation, and he felt big -over it, but I don’t believe it wuz anything personal -that Al Faizi writ. I believe it wuz sunthin’ as -deep as jestice and as pure as love and pity that -he wuz a-writin’ about; anyhow, his face wuz a study -as I watched it. There wuz indignation in it and -pity and love, and another look, that I felt instinctively -wuz a-lookin’ forrered to jedgment.</p> - -<p>Lookin’ forrered not many years to <span class="pagenum" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</span>the time -when things would be different.</p> - -<p>Wall, we stayed there and went round part of -the way in boats, and part of the way in wagons -all of the next day, a-lookin’ at the beautiful gems -of lakes in their settin’s of richest emerald, and in -little walks about the country, and in comparin’ -the heights of luxury to the depths of squalor and -misery.</p> - -<p>Not fur from here wuz the cottage where Kate -Kearney used to live. You know who she wuz, -I spoze.</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“For did you not hear of Kate Kearney?</div> - <div class="verse indent0">She lives on the banks of Killarney;</div> - <div class="verse indent2">From the glance of her eye</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Shun peril and fly,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">For fatal’s the glance of Kate Kearney.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Whether he flew from her I d’no, but presoom -he didn’t, men are so sot in these things.</p> - -<p>Peril and danger hain’t a-goin’ to make ’em fly -from a pretty woman—no, indeed!</p> - -<p>In the lower lake, on an island, wuz the ruins of -a big castle, picturesque and ivy-covered. It wuz -owned by the O’Donohues. And the boatman -said that every seven years the chief of the -O’Donohues come back for a night to see his -castle.</p> - -<p>I thought<span class="pagenum" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</span> to myself, mebby he come oftener -than that, but didn’t say a word, not wantin’ to -do anything to either make or break a legend hundreds -of years old.</p> - -<p>Wall, we wuz a-layin’ out to leave there the next -mornin’, but Martin, by his pryin’ round, found -that there wuz a-goin’ to be a wake that night in -a cabin not fur from the tarvern where we wuz -a-stayin’, and by payin’ some money—I d’no how -much—he got a chance to attend to it, and he -said that Josiah and I could go if we wanted to. -He told me he didn’t spoze that Al Faizi would -care about goin’, and he wanted Alice and Adrian -to rest, for the next mornin’ early we wuz to set -out for Dublin.</p> - -<p>But I thanked him real polite, and told him -that “I would stay with the children.”</p> - -<p>And afterwards, seein’ that Al Faizi wanted to -go, them three men sot off.</p> - -<p>A old man had passed away, and they wuz -a-makin’ a great wake for him.</p> - -<p>They didn’t stay long, for they said that the -whiskey and drinkin’ and tobacco-smokin’ in the -little hovel drove ’em out.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_189" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_189.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Drinkin’ and tobacco-smokin’ in the little hovel drove ’em out.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>But Martin observed complacently that he would -be glad to say that he had been to a real Irish -Wake.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi<span class="pagenum" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</span> spoke of the old wimmen wailers, and -said that they had jest sech professional mourners -in Egypt and parts of Africa, and he wondered -quite a good deal how that custom come way off -here in this fur-off Ireland, but he spozed that it -wuz in some way brought here from the East. -Mebby it come down from them old days nobody -knows anything about, of which relics remains in -them old round towers, etc. So old nobody knows -who built ’em, or what for.</p> - -<p>He wondered a good deal, but didn’t take out -that book of hisen with the star and cross on’t. -No, he writ in another book with a plain Russia -leather cover on’t.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</span></p> - -<p>My pardner restrained himself until the others -had departed to their couches, but I see that he -wuz fearful agitated and excited.</p> - -<p>And sez he, the minute they went out—</p> - -<p>“I tell you, Samantha, it wuz a excitin’ seen, -and,” sez he, “what a excitement it would make -in Jonesville if we should have one!” Sez he -dreamily—</p> - -<p>“Uncle Nate Bentley is over ninety; there -might be one arranged easy.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Josiah Allen, don’t you go to lookin’ -forrered to any sech doin’s!”</p> - -<p>“Why?” sez he; “if I should leave you, you -could probble git the Widder Lummis up to Zoar -and Drusilla Bentley to wail for a little or -nothin’.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Josiah Allen, no widder or old maid is -a-goin’ to wail over you by my hirin’ ’em to; if -they wail, it will be at their own expense.</p> - -<p>“You will have one true mourner, Josiah Allen, -whose grief will be too deep and heartfelt to display -it before a crowd, with whiskey and tobacco -as accessories.”</p> - -<p>“Oh! I didn’t expect you’d have any drinkin’ or -smokin’. I knew your principles too well. They -might smoke a little catnip, or sunthin’ of that sort, -or pass round some lemonade.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</span></p> - -<p>Sez I, “There will be nothin’ of the kind done, -Josiah Allen.”</p> - -<p>But he sprunted up and sez, “You seem to be -settlin’ things all your own way. I should think -that I ort to have some say in it. Whose funeral -is it, I’d like to know, we’re talkin’ about?”</p> - -<p>But I sez, “I don’t want to hear another word -of sech talk, and I won’t.” And I riz up and sallied -off to bed, and in sweet slumber that man soon -forgot all his stylish ambitions.</p> - -<p>Wall, the next day we sot off to Dublin, and -havin’ arrived there with no casualities worth mentionin’, -we settled down in a good-sized tarvern, -and after a little rest we meandered around to see -the sights of the place.</p> - -<p>Martin said that he wanted to visit the great -manafacturys where Irish Poplin is made, as he had -some friends who wuz interested in that trade, and -that it would be expected of him.</p> - -<p>And I then mentioned to Josiah, seein’ that he -wuz right here at the headquarters, perhaps it would -be best for me to buy a gray poplin dress. I knew -it would last like iron.</p> - -<p>But Josiah said with deep earnestness, that if I -only knew how much better he liked my old gray -parmetty dress to home I never would speak -on’t. Sez he, “You look perfectly beautiful in<span class="pagenum" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</span> it, -and there is so many associations connected with it.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “I should think there would be, seein’ -I’ve worn it stiddy for upwards of eighteen years -without alterin’ it.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “it is a perfect beauty, and you -look lovely in it.”</p> - -<p>He hadn’t been so complimentary to me for upwards -of fourteen years, and I wuz touched by it, -and gin up the thought of gittin’ a new dress.</p> - -<p>Oh! how many, many wimmen have done the -same thing under the same circumstances.</p> - -<p>But the numerous shops wuz full of the loveliest -goods of all kinds, and politer creeters than them -clerks I don’t want to see.</p> - -<p>St. Patrick’s Cathedral wuz of course one of the -first places we visited. They say that this wuz -built, in the first place, by St. Patrick himself about -fourteen hundred years ago, but if that wuz so, I -thought St. Patrick would feel sorry for the filth -and wretchedness that surrounded the meetin’-house -up to the very door.</p> - -<p>There wuz a magnificent carved marble sarcophagus -of Archbishop Whateley, with his own -marble figger stretched out on top of it.</p> - -<p>And a monument to that kinder queer, kinder -mean, smart chap, Swift, and a tablet to poor -Stella, who would a-done better if she had <span class="pagenum" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</span>married -some other feller, mebby not so smart, but better -natered and a better provider.</p> - -<p>Poor creeter, I’m sorry for her!</p> - -<p>There wuz lots of other interestin’ monuments -and memorials, but Time and Martin wuz in a -hurry, so we did not delay.</p> - -<p>We visited Trinity College, the castle, the beautiful -part of the city where the rich folks lived, and -the Liberties, where it seemed as if all the liberty -the poor creeters had wuz the liberty to be jest as -poor and degraded and nasty as they could be.</p> - -<p>There wuz beautiful parks, one on ’em over -eighteen hundred acres in it, full of beauty, and we -see lots of statutes, erected to the great men who -had been born in Dublin—the Duke of Wellington, -the great orator, Daniel O’Connell, etc.</p> - -<p>The monument to Nelson, the hero of the Nile, -is one hundred and ten feet high before he stands -up on it, and he is 11 feet high.</p> - -<p>He is in a sightly place.</p> - -<p>If his sperit comes back in some still moonlight -night, and looks over the world with him, I wonder -if it ever looks over the mistakes he made? I wonder -if the beautiful Lady Hamilton ever comes -into its thoughts?</p> - -<p>She hain’t got any<span class="pagenum" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</span> monument.</p> - -<p>I wonder if he’s sorry for it, that he stands up so -high and she so low in the opinion of people—so -low, when once he felt it his greatest glory and -happiness to kneel at her feet?</p> - -<p>But such surmises are futile, futiler than there’s -any need on.</p> - -<p>To resoom.</p> - -<p>Charles Lever, the novelist, wuz born in Dublin, -and so wuz Tom Moore.</p> - -<p>We went to the birthplace of Moore.</p> - -<p>It wuz a common-lookin’ buildin’, though it had -a bust of the poet in front up between the winders.</p> - -<p>The lower part of the house wuz used as a -grocery store, and Josiah himself proposed that we -should buy here some little souvenir of the poet.</p> - -<p>I wuz dumbfoundered. I never knew him to -propose any outlay of the kind before, and I sez -as much.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “I knew you wuz always wantin’ -to buy sunthin’ to remember sech romantic -places by, and I thought here would be a good -chance.”</p> - -<p>I wuz so touched by his thoughtfulness that I -sez—“Dear Josiah, what had you got it into your -head to buy?”</p> - -<p>And he said that he thought a few crackers and -a little cheese and a herrin’ or two would be as -good as anything.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</span></p> - -<p>“Did you mean to keep ’em, Josiah?” sez I, for -a dark suspicion swept over me.</p> - -<p>And he owned up that he layed out to nibble -on ’em a little on the way back to the hotel.</p> - -<p>I see right through it, and I didn’t fall in with -his overtoor. Somehow, herrin’s and cheese seemed -incongrous with Lally Rooks, and Peris, and Paradises, -and I told him so.</p> - -<p>And he sez, “Dum it all, they had to eat in -Paradise if they kep’ alive, and,” sez he, “a Peri, -if she knew anything, wouldn’t object to a slice of -good cheese and some soda crackers.”</p> - -<p>So I told him that if he wanted sunthin’ to eat to -buy it; but, sez I, “never veneer a selfish thought -with the fine gold of romance and tender memories.”</p> - -<p>And he said that he didn’t want nothin’ to do -with varnish of any kind, he wanted some cheese -and crackers. So he bought a few, I guess; I -didn’t watch him.</p> - -<p>I myself wuz quite took up with lookin’ round -the place, sanctified by genius of a certain kind, and -I murmured almost onbeknown to myself the -words I had hearn Tirzah Ann repeat. She always -loved Moore fur better than Thomas J. did. -Though Thomas J. thought well enough on him, but -Tirzah Ann used to rehearse and sing him by<span class="pagenum" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</span> the -hour, so in spite of myself I had learnt lots of his -poetry by heart.</p> - -<p>And as I looked round the room I found myself -entirely onbeknown to myself a-hummin’ over the -“Last Rose of Summer,” and the “Meetin’ of the -Waters,” and the “Harp that once through Tara’s -Halls.”</p> - -<p>That last one Tirzah Ann ust to sing a sight, -and I always liked to hear it, though I never got it -into my head jest who Mr. Tara wuz, or what line -of business he wuz in.</p> - -<p>Wall, knowin’ that Tirzah Ann would prize it so -high, I bought some choclate drops of candy to take -home to her.</p> - -<p>They wuz as sweet as Moore’s poetry, and softer, -some.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XI">CHAPTER XI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">JOSIAH AS A BANSHEE.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin said that he should probble be -asked if he had visited the Giant’s Causeway, so he -thought we had better proceed to it to once. So -we went directly from Dublin to Port Rush. We -stayed there all night, and the next day we all went -out on the electric car, for Martin said that he -wanted Adrian to go, for in futer years he would -probble be asked if he had been there. Adrian -wuz tired out and didn’t want to go—he wuz real -cross about it.</p> - -<p>Alice told her Pa that Adrian said that he -wouldn’t look at anything if he went, but Martin -said that it would be better for him to go, even if -he didn’t see anything, for then he could say that -he had been there. So we all sot off—the way we -went wuz a perfect sight and wonder in itself, for -what power do you spoze it wuz that rolled the -wheels that took us onwards?</p> - -<p>It wuz all done by a waterfall at Bush Mills, a -few milds away. The water that poured down -from the hills is harnessed, as you may say, and -made to carry us along.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</span></p> - -<p>Queer, hain’t it? And shows that you never can -tell what will happen to you in the futer.</p> - -<p>Why, if anybody had told them little free, -sparklin’ rivulets that leap along up in the hills, -foamin’ and chatterin’ of liberty and freedom, and -sech—if anybody had throwed it into their bright, -sparklin’ faces that they wuz a-goin’ to be ketched -and tackled up with some kind of riggin’ and carry -Josiah Allen’s Wife and her pardner, and the world -at large, them rivulets would have resented it—they -would have laughed and gurgled and swept on indifferent -and onbelievin’.</p> - -<p>But so it wuz, they had to come to it.</p> - -<p>And after they got broke in they didn’t seem to -mind it, for they bore us on so smooth and easy -and noiseless, that it wuz a perfect treat.</p> - -<p>No steamin’, no smokin’—they learnt that up in -the hills. It wuz a comfort to ride after ’em.</p> - -<p>And we had nothin’ to hender us from thinkin’ -of the Giants and talkin’ about ’em.</p> - -<p>Josiah said that he had always approved of -giants, and that he would love to see one or two of -’em.</p> - -<p>Adrian didn’t git real reconciled to goin’ till -after we got started, then he got real excited, and -got the idee that we wuz goin’ to see Jack the -Giant Killer, and asked me quite a number of questions<span class="pagenum" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</span> -about it.</p> - -<p>Runnin’ sunthin’ like this—How big wuz the -Giants, and where did they come from, and what -wuz their names, and how long did it take ’em to -build the Causeway, and—</p> - -<p>“What is the Causeway made of?”</p> - -<p>“Of rocks.”</p> - -<p>“What are the rocks made of, and who made the -rocks, and when were they made, and how, and -what for?”</p> - -<p>Good land! I wuz tuckered out, and told him I -guessed I would look out of the winder a spell and -take the air.</p> - -<p>And then he wanted to know what air wuz -made of, and who made it, and if there wuzn’t -any air out of the winder if I could make some air.</p> - -<p>He didn’t ask so many questions as a general -thing—he seemed to be kinder fractious that day. -Poor little creeter, he wuz tired out, and I knew it, -and I encouraged him to kinder lean up aginst me -and take all the rest and comfort he could.</p> - -<p>Alice wuz real happy. She’d got some letters -that mornin’, and two big ones wuz in one handwritin’—I -knew it. She read ’em over two or three -times in the train.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi looked at <span class="pagenum" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</span>her as she read ’em, and his -face looked queer—he see the glow on her face, and -I see that, like the sun, that bright light could cast -a shadder. Sunshine and shadder, how they chase -across the landscape of life! How clost they foller -each other! What strange picters they make! -What thoughts they give!</p> - -<p>But to resoom—we got to the Causeway in pretty -good season, and we found it wuz a sight, a -sight.</p> - -<p>It is made of high round columns, or pillows, and -you can walk on it jest as you could on the walk -Josiah made out to the hen-house out of bricks sot -long end up.</p> - -<p>But this Giants’ walk is fur, fur immenser than -Josiah’s. It is so extremely big that they say the -Giants built it. It runs out into the sea in a kind -of a curous shape, and is a sight to behold.</p> - -<p>I thought I wouldn’t go and see the caves that -wuz nigh there. You had to go to ’em in a boat—and -as I looked on that boat, and considered the -size on’t, and then subtracted the size of it from the -bigness of the Atlantic Ocean, I gin up that I -wouldn’t tackle it.</p> - -<p>I had done some of my multiplyin’ and subtractin’ -out loud, onbeknown to me, and Josiah hearn me, -and said he guessed he wouldn’t go. He looked -round the Heavens and earth as if to find a suitable -excuse, and finally he sez—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</span></p> - -<p>“It seems so kinder muggy to-day, I guess I -won’t go, though I should enjoy the trip immensely -if it wuzn’t for the clost atmosphere.”</p> - -<p>Wall, I wuz glad to have him gin it up -on any account.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi didn’t seem to care about -goin’, nor Alice, nor Adrian.</p> - -<p>But Martin said that he wouldn’t want -it to be said that he hadn’t visited the -caves.</p> - -<p>So he sot off with a couple of boatmen.</p> - -<p>There wuz a dretful sort of a heavey -look to the Atlantic, and I wuz glad that -I didn’t venter, for I felt truly that the -Giants, if they ever heard on’t, would make -allowances for my feelin’s in not dastin’ to -venter out on the Atlantic in a boat.</p> - -<p>As it turned out, glad enough wuz I -that there didn’t none of the rest on us go, -for there come up a sudden squall right -when Martin wuz in the cave, and they had to hurry -out for their lives. The rough waves wuz a-washin’ -the boat up aginst them hard pillows of stun, and -they wuz in sech danger of their lives that the boatmen -had to jump out on the rocks the best way -they could, and haul Martin, more dead than alive, -up over the rocks.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</span></p> - -<div class="figright illowp33" id="i_201" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_201.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Drippin’ wet when he come back.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>He wuz drippin’ wet when he come back to the -hotel, and I sez, “Martin, how sorry I am you ventered -out there!”</p> - -<p>And he sez, with his teeth a-chatterin’ and the -water a-drippin’ off of him, that he wasn’t sorry, for a -friend of hisen, a very rich and very influential man, -had been caught in jest the same way.</p> - -<p>And he gin me to understand that he anticipated -a great treat in talkin’ over the experience with -him.</p> - -<p>Wall, there is sunthin’ in that—there is comfort -in talkin’ over past troubles and dangers, and I -couldn’t dispute it.</p> - -<p>But I sez: “For mercy sakes! do change your -clothes and git dried off.”</p> - -<p>But he hadn’t any other clothes with him, and -the upshot of it wuz, he had to go to bed while his -clothes wuz dryin’.</p> - -<p>But Josiah wuz sorry for him, and blamed himself -for not thinkin’ to bring along his dressin’-gown. -Sez he, “I wouldn’t think of lendin’ it on a common -occasion, but,” sez he, lookin’ round on sech -big work as the Giants had done there, sez he, “I -wouldn’t want to act small, and refuse to let Martin -put it on for an hour or two.”</p> - -<p>Wall, as soon as Martin wuz dried<span class="pagenum" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</span> off, we sot sail -back to Port Rush, and it wuz there that night that -I had a severe trial and fright.</p> - -<p>We had had a good supper, and Josiah had eat -more than wuz good for him, I believe, and drinked -too much coffee.</p> - -<p>He is used to tea at night, but bein’ so wore out -and kinder chilly, Martin ordered strong coffee.</p> - -<p>And I believe that coffee wuz to the bottom of -our trials that night.</p> - -<p>Bein’ kinder fagged out, Martin had gone to his -room early, and the rest had follered his example, -and my pardner and I had also sought the seclusion -of our quiet bedroom.</p> - -<p>And I immegiately and to once begun my preperations -for slumber.</p> - -<p>I onfolded my nightgown and laid it over a chair -and ondone my sheepshead night-cap, and mekanically -went to sort of flutin’ the border between my -fingers, as I sot there, and I begun to feel real -drowsy.</p> - -<p>But Josiah didn’t seem to be sleepy a mite. He -had donned that dressin’-gown of hisen and tied the -strings in a large bow-knot, that showed off the red -tossels to the best advantage, and walked 2 and fro -several times, and seemed to look and act real sentimental. -He has sech spells—I guess all men do at -times. And finally he leaned back in a big arm-chair -and kinder hummed over some tunes—not<span class="pagenum" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</span> -sech tunes as I would approve of his singin’, but -some songs—such as “Ben Bolt,” and “Lorena,” and -“She’s all my Fancy painted Her.”</p> - -<p>And finally he broke out quite loud a-singin’—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“‘I’ll chase the antelope over the plains,</div> - <div class="verse indent4">The tiger’s cub I’ll’—</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>“What is it, Samantha, that he said he’d do to -the tiger’s cub—‘with a chain’?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Choke it, mebby—I presoom he’d be -skairt enough to want to.”</p> - -<p>“No; it wuz sunthin’ like harnessin’, Samantha. -Do you know what it is? It comes right in the -turn of the tune, and it hampers me to forgit it.”</p> - -<p>And then he begun agin—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“‘The tiger’s cub I’ll <i>tie</i> with a chain—</div> - <div class="verse indent0">I’ll tackle with a chain’—</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>“No, that hain’t it—‘tie’ hain’t the word—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“‘The tiger’s cub I’ll, folderol, with a chain.’”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>He made the turn and went on to the next -line—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“‘And the wild gazelle, with its silvery feet,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">I’ll get thee for a playmate, sweet.’”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Sez he, “I’ve got it all but that one word, and -that—that will come to me,” sez he.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I feel like singin’ to-night,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</span> Samantha.”</p> - -<p>“Sing!” sez I in icy axents; “I’d call it singin’, if -I wuz you.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “if I dast to let my voice out, -you’d hear singin’, but it would wake ’em all up. -My voice is powerful, and I feel in full voice to-night.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “I’m glad that sunthin’ holds you -back.</p> - -<p>“And,” sez I, “I am beat out and I am goin’ to -bed.”</p> - -<p>And so I got ready and went to bed.</p> - -<p>The rest wuz all asleep, so I spozed.</p> - -<p>Wall, I fell asleep most the first thing, and I -d’no how long I’d slept, when I hearn a knockin’ -at my door, and I got up, and Alice stood there, -white and tremblin’.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp69" id="i_206" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_206.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Alice stood there, white and tremblin’.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“The Banshee!” sez she in tremblin’ tones; “I -saw it myself, and heard it.”</p> - -<p>Sez she, “You know this is the very part of Ireland -where they have them.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “You’d been a-thinkin’ of ’em and imagined -it.”</p> - -<p>“No, indeed!” sez she; “I was just falling asleep -when I heard those awful wails of distress, and I -got up and went to father’s room, which is next to -mine, and he got up and looked out of the window, -and he saw it and heard it too.” Sez she, “You -know the Banshee always appears before some<span class="pagenum" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</span> -dreadful trouble comes to a family, and it seems as -if it is meant for us, for it is only a little ways off.” -Sez she, “You and Uncle Josiah get up and come -into my room, and you can see it for yourselves.”</p> - -<p>At them words there -seemed to come to me a -realizin’ sense of my surroundin’s; -bein’ jest waked -up with news of a ghost, -I’d overlooked the fact of -my companion’s absence.</p> - -<p>But I sez, “I will come, -Alice. Your Uncle Josiah -has probble heard it, and -gone out to investigate.”</p> - -<p>So I throwed on my -flannel wrapper and slipped -on my shoes and put -my breakfast shawl round -me and went into Alice’s room. There we found -Martin wrapped in his Pegama, or whatever they -call it.</p> - -<p>Alice’s winder commanded a better view than -hisen, and he stood motionless by the winder.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi and Adrian wuz in the other side of the -house, and so wuz the rest of the folks. These two -rooms wuz kinder built out on the side by themselves.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</span></p> - -<p>Sez I, “Martin, you don’t believe anythin’ of -this kind, do you?”</p> - -<p>But Alice spoke up before he could answer, -“Why, at Dunluce Castle that we saw to-day there -is a Banshee that always foretells death to the family, -and they have them all over Ireland.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, advancin’ towards the winder, “You don’t -believe anythin’ of this kind, do you, Martin?”</p> - -<p>He answered evasively, “There is something dreadful -queer-looking down there across the road—it is -standing still now, but it has been giving the most -blood-curdling sounds and wails that I ever heard.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez Alice, “the Banshee always gives -those same terrific screeches and harrowing yells. I -know it is a Banshee, and it is for us, father, for -it appeared to us.”</p> - -<p>And she commenced to cry. I guess her first -thought was of somebody that wuz in her mind the -hull of the time.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Hush up, Alice—I don’t believe anything -of the kind.”</p> - -<p>But as I looked out, follerin’ Martin’s solemn and -silent pint, I did see a sight that made the cold -chills run down my back in spite of myself, and -goose pimples gathered freely down my shoulder -blades.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</span></p> - -<p>I see a dark figger a-standin’ up on a little rock -that riz up there above the rest of the ground; it -stood motionless, and, indeed, it looked skairful. -And onbeknown to myself I sez—“For the land’s -sake! what is it?”</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp58" id="i_209" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_209.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>A dark figger a-standin’ up on a little rock.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>My own voice wuz tremolous with fear, and -Alice see it, and cried harder than ever. And Martin -sez—</p> - -<p>“You ought to have heard the terrific screams -the thing gave if you want to be scared—seeing it -isn’t nothing at all to hearing it.</p> - -<p>“And,” sez he, “I’ll go and call up the hotel-keeper -and find out what it is. Maybe it is a -lunatic broken out of some asylum. I am going -to know something about who and what it -is.”</p> - -<p>But jest at this minute the creeter broke out in -one of its wild cries, and Martin and Alice shuddered, -and sez he, “Did you ever in your life hear -anything so awful?”</p> - -<p>And Alice sez, “I cannot bear it, Aunt Samantha. -It is too terrible.”</p> - -<p>But there wuz to me sunthin’ familiar in the -sound, and I lifted the sash, and the words come in -plain—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent10">“Bind with a chain!</div><span class="pagenum" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</span> - <div class="verse indent0">The tiger’s cub I’ll <i>bind</i> with a chain</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And the wild gazelle”—etc., etc.</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Sez I, “It is my own pardner with his dressin’-gown -on, and a-singin’.”</p> - -<p>The words Martin said then I won’t never tell—no, -indeed! besides the wickedness on ’em, it wuz -too humiliatin’ to hear ’em applied to my own pardner. -“Fool” wuz the last one of the three, and -“The” wuz the first one, but I will not tell the -middle word—you can’t make me.</p> - -<p>Alice went to laughin’ (partly hysterics); she felt -dretful relieved, and as the figger seemed now to be -aproachin’ the house, I went back into my room, -into which it soon entered in a gay and jaunty -manner.</p> - -<p>He had been enjoyin’ himself first-rate, and -sez he—</p> - -<p>“Wall, Samantha, I’ve found the word, and I’ve -been a-singin’;” sez he, “I sung the verse all over, -and it sounded beautiful, and then I stood still a -spell, and all of a sudden the right word come to me. -It wuz ‘bind,’” sez he.</p> - -<p>Sez I coldly, “You’ve skairt a woman almost -into fits and made a church-member and a relation -swear like a pirate.” Sez I, “I’ve seen you took -for lots of things, Josiah Allen, from first to last, -but I never thought I should ever live to see the -day to see you took for a ghost—a Banshee. A<span class="pagenum" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</span> -common ghost would sound as good agin as that.” -And I went on and related the facts. He acted -mad and puggilistic like, and sez he—“I can’t help -folks from makin’ dum fools of themselves.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “I wish you’d kep’ yourself from it.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “It is a pity if a man can’t sing a little -durin’ the evenin’ without his folks actin’ like perfect -fools!”</p> - -<p>“Sing!” sez I; “I wonder how many more -episodes you’ll have to go through without your -learnin’ the truth about what you call your singin’.” -Sez I, “You can’t sing, Josiah Allen, any more than a -cow can play on the melodian, and I’ve told you so -often enough for you to believe it.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, wall,” sez he, “it’s time to go to bed. -When a man is a-travellin’ with a hull crew of loonaticks -and fools, it stands him in hand to git what -little rest he can, nights.”</p> - -<p>That man wuz ashamed of his conduct, and I -knew it.</p> - -<p>Mortification works out sometimes in jest that -way. It gaulded him to be took for a Banshee, for -I hearn him mutter the word two or three times -scornfully, as he wuz a-ondressin’.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “A Banshee!!! Dum fools!!! I’d love -to be one a spell—I’d show ’em some screechin’!”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</span></p> -<p>He didn’t mean me to overhear him, but I did, -and I sez calmly from my piller—</p> - -<p>“You needn’t blame yourself, Josiah Allen; there -hain’t a Banshee in Ireland but what would be proud -to mate with you after hearin’ you to-night—there -hain’t one on ’em that could outdo you.”</p> - -<p>“Keep on your aggravatin’,” sez he, and he didn’t -say another word for as much as three minutes, when -he begun to complain of bein’ chilly.</p> - -<p>And I took alarm to once, and made him some -hot lemonade—I had the ingregiences, and a alcohol -lamp with me.</p> - -<p>And I folded up my woollen shawl, and tucked -him all up in it, and spoke real soothin’ to him, and -affectionate. For sech is the mystery of human -love, though pardners may mortify you, or anger -you, yet their sufferin’ or danger shows how strong -are the ties that bind two lovin’ hearts—nothin’ -can break it. He answered me back in the same -affectionate way, though terse, but showin’ the tender -regard he had for my welfare. Sez he—</p> - -<p>“For mercy sake, do come to bed! your feet will -be as cold as ice suckles.”</p> - -<p>And so sweet peace havin’ descended down onto -us, we wuz both soon wropped in slumber.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin concluded that we would go <span class="pagenum" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</span>as soon -as we could to Glasgow, “For,” sez he, “I feel -that we have seen everything that there is to see -in Ireland, and gone to the bottom, as you may -say, of the ‘Irish Question.’ So we might just as -well go to Scotland as soon as might be.”</p> - -<p>So we proceeded to Glasgow, partly by train and -partly by steamboat.</p> - -<p>Martin talked comfortably agin, on the train, of -havin’ seen everything in Ireland, and of havin’ gone -to the bottom of the “Irish Question.” “For,” -sez he, “the land is governed admirably—splendid -standing army, admirable police force, and as for -the people,” sez he, “in good seasons, statistics -show that there is half a ton of potatoes to each -person. More than I consume,” sez he complacently, -leanin’ back with his fingers in his vest -pockets.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Mebby you’d consume more potatoes if -you didn’t consume nothin’ else.” Sez I, “You -take out your fowls, and fish, and beef, and lamb, -and puddin’s, and pastry, etc., etc., etc., and eat -nothin’ but clear potatoes, and how many do you -spoze you’d consume, and how much comfort do -you spoze you’d take consumin’ ’em?”</p> - -<p>He looked lofty, and sez he: “That isn’t a -parallel case.”</p> - -<p>“And,” sez I, “when<span class="pagenum" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</span> the potato crop failed, -what then?”</p> - -<p>Agin he sez, “That isn’t a parallel case.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Parallel to what?”</p> - -<p>And he said, “Don’t you want the window shut -awhile? Let me put your shawl round you; it is -a little chilly.”</p> - -<p>And then he went on talkin’ to Alice as fast as he -could about the seenery, and I wuz too well -bread to say anything more.</p> - -<p>But I see that Al Faizi had took out his little -book with the jewelled cross on it, and he wuz -writin’ in it.</p> - -<p>And from the way the light from above fell on it -as he held it, the rays streamed out from the jewelled -cross some like the flashin’ rays from a sword.</p> - -<p>He had spoke to me before about the wretchedness -and beggary of the people, and expressed wonder -that one or two men should own hundreds of -thousands of acres and keep it for idle pleasure -grounds, while all round were men who couldn’t, no -matter how sober and industrious they might be, -buy enough land to build a shed on.</p> - -<p>He had looked dreamy and strange while he -talked it over, but, as his usual way wuz, he didn’t -blame nothin’ nor nobody—that wuz the difference -between me and him.</p> - -<p>He would seem to ask<span class="pagenum" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</span> about and find out about -things, and then jest write ’em down in that book -of hisen. His face a-lookin’ calm a most all the -time, but dretful earnest and deep and sorrowful, a -good part of the time. His writin’ wuzn’t nothin’ -hard, I don’t believe, but comparin’ the doin’s here -with the things in his own land, I spoze.</p> - -<p>I had noticed that he had wrote down quite a -good deal after he had hearn this conversation on -Home Rule, and how for hundreds of years a brave -people had tried to git the rule of their own land. -Not always makin’ wise efforts, I spoze, but brave -ones every time, and how the grand old man in -England had stood up for ’em aginst his own folks.</p> - -<p>I see Al Faizi had writ down quite a considerable, -a-praisin’ Gladstone, for all I know. He never told -what he writ down or drawed our attention to it, no -more than the sun duz as it photographs the pictures -of the bendin’ trees and the flowers on the earth -beneath. Jest duz it, and that’s all.</p> - -<p>The sun and Al Faizi did. That’s where I differed -some—I talked more. Wimmen do have to -talk once in a while—they’re made so, I guess, onbeknown -to ’em. And I said quite a good deal -aloud and found considerable fault, though I meant -not to be too hard on either side.</p> - -<p>There’s always two sides to every story. Ireland -hain’t always right, I don’t spoze, no more’n -England. When two men git to fightin’ back and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</span> -forth, there must be some fault on both sides before -they git through, anyway, sech as swearin’, kickin’, -etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>I hain’t got nothin’ agin Queen Victoria, and she -knows I hain’t. The Widder Albert is a good woman -and a good calculator, and has brung up her children -well, and has laid up for ’em.</p> - -<p>And if ever any woman wuz a mourner for a -pardner, she’s been and is now.</p> - -<p>But I can’t think she duz jest right in this case, -not to let the Irish people rule their own country. -It stands to reason that Josiah and I wouldn’t want -Deacon Gowdy to rule our house and farm, though -he’s a real likely man and a brother in the same -meetin’ house, and a good calculator.</p> - -<p>But even if we didn’t do quite so well, we would -ruther tend to our own house and affairs—everybody -would. And I laid out to talk to Victoria on the -subject the first time I had a real set-down visit -with her.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp89" id="i_217" style="max-width: 20em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_217.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>I laid out to talk to Victoria on the subject.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And then if Deacon Gowdy took all the money -he could rake and scrape out of us, and spent it all -on his own place, that would mad us, too.</p> - -<p>And like as not if he kep’ Josiah and me down so -poor that we wuz most starved, and he should try -to turn us out of our own house, and use that dear -place, sacred to us, and the door-yard and orchard,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</span> -for a home for his dogs and fightin’ roosters and -sech, why, I d’no if Josiah see me barefooted -and hungry, a-beggin’ Deacon Gowdy not to turn -me out of the house I wuz born in, and on an -empty stumick, too, I -d’no but he’d knock -him down and jump on -him.</p> - -<p>And that would make -trouble—Miss Gowdy -wouldn’t like that, but -if she should come to -me with it, I should say -to her, “Let him tend -to his own business, -then, and let us alone.”</p> - -<p>And if she should uphold -him and say we hadn’t no jedgment, and wuz -shiftless, and we couldn’t take care of our land, and -they had to do it because we wuz too indolent, and -slack, and sech—I’d tell her agin that it wuz none -of her business. Sez I, “If we run through with -our own property we can go to our own poor-house, -can’t we?</p> - -<p>“But,” I’d say, “you needn’t worry; what encouragement -do we have to work and git things ahead -when we know you’d take all the profits of our<span class="pagenum" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</span> -labor? You go off and tend to your own business, -and we’ll work hard enough, and lay up.”</p> - -<p>And then, after freein’ my mind to her, if old -Gowdy wuz too bad off, I dare presoom to say I -should offer him some wormwood to make a poultice -of to show him that I didn’t have no malice -towards him, only jest wantin’ to have my rights -and be let alone. But to resoom.</p> - -<p>We arrove in Glasgow with no fatal results -a-flowin’ from our voyage, and we put up at a good -sizable tarvern, where we had plenty of things for -our comfort and luxury.</p> - -<p>Amongst the things of luxury, I counted the -water that I drinked from day to day, for I -found that it wuz water brung from Loch Katrine.</p> - -<p>And when you remember Ellen’s Isle, as described -by Sir Walter Scott, is right there in Loch Katrine—you -may perhaps imagine the height and depth -of my emotions.</p> - -<p>Why, the very water I sipped, and wet my front -hair with mornings before my lookin’-glass, may -have gurgled and murmured round the very isle -where Ellen Douglas dwelt in her father’s hidden -lodge, covered with ivy and Idien vines.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp55" id="i_219" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_219.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p> - <span class="smcap">Samantha and Ellen Douglas.</span> - <span class="pagenum" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</span> - </p> - </div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</span></p><div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“The rocky isle with copsewood bound,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Where weeping birch and willow round</div> - <div class="verse indent0">With their long fibres swept the ground.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Where she dwelt and roamed, dreaming of Malcolm -Graeme, and where she met the King of Scotland, -onbeknown to her.</p> - -<p>Poor feller, poor young king! he thought more -of Ellen than wuz good for him, but he acted like -a perfect gentleman through it all, and that is better -than bein’ a king.</p> - -<p>Or ruther it <i>is</i> bein’ a king.</p> - -<p>He forgive her Pa, who had been rambellous, -and with that gold chain of hisen, that he might -have hung him with, he bound the girl he loved to -another man forever. Good, generous creeter!</p> - -<p>But we are wanderin’ too fur back into the realm -of poesy, accompanied by noble Warriors and Ladys -of the Lake, and to come out into the hard-beat -track of reality agin, and to resoom.</p> - -<p>Martin sot a great deal of store on visitin’ the -great public buildin’s and the Cathedral, which is -nine hundred years old, and the University, big -enough for over a thousand scholars—I guess a -thousand and a half.</p> - -<p>But I myself took more interest in visitin’ the -Necropolous, as they call their buryin’ ground, and -seein’ the monument riz up to John Knox. It towers -up towards the sky dretful high; but not so high -as John’s principles loomed up—not nigh.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</span></p> - -<p>And I wuz dretful interested while in the city in -lookin’ at the statutes of Sir Walter Scott, and -James Watts, and David Livingstone, and Robert -Burns.</p> - -<p>And seein’ the place where Sir John Moore wuz -born.</p> - -<p>It wuzn’t any better place than Elder Minkley wuz -born in, to Jonesville, or Deacon Blodgett up in Zoar.</p> - -<p>And as I looked onto the onpretentious walls I -methought how it wuzn’t likely at all when he wuz -a baby, his Pa a-puttin’ up pills and powders at the -time, his Ma a-holdin’ his little helpless, dimpled -form to her bosom, that he would grow up to be -sech a hero and die fur from her, over in Spain, and -“be buried darkly at dead of night.”</p> - -<p>And be left there cold and still, fur from kindred -and loved ones—“Alone in his glory.”</p> - -<p>Wall, here in this city I had a great and welcome -surprise—Martin made me a present of a Paisley -shawl; they wuz manafectered in a place nigh here, -and Martin got me and Alice one.</p> - -<p>Men don’t realize sech things, but I knew, and -Alice knew, that she wouldn’t be old enough to -wear hern for twenty years yet. But then, as I told -her, she would grow up to it in time.</p> - -<p>But she kinder laid out, as I could see,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</span> on coverin’ -a lounge with it in her <i>boodore</i>, which means -her private settin’-room.</p> - -<p>I seldom use foreign languages, but when I do, I -don’t think it is any more ’n right to translate it -for the benefit of ’em who hain’t had my advantages. -What would Philury, or she that wuz Submit -Tewksbury, know about a <i>boodore</i>? They’d -probble think it wuz jewelry or some kind of agin’.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XII">CHAPTER XII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">ROBERT BURNS AND HIGHLAND MARY.</p> - -<p>Wall, from here we took some excursions to -places of interest in the vicinity. One of heart-thrillin’ -interest wuz to Ayr, and lasted two days, for -Martin said he wanted to see every spot connected -in any way with Robert Burns. He said he didn’t -care about readin’ his historys and sermons, but it -seemed to be the stylish and proper thing to do, so -he wouldn’t fail of doin’ it for anything. So we -sot off one mornin’ with great anticipations, and -each on us a satchel, for the forty milds trip.</p> - -<p>Josiah wuz riz up in his mind about Sir William -Wallace—more so than he wuz with Burns.</p> - -<p>For the “Scottish Chiefs” had been read by him -with avidity in his boyhood, and permeated his -fancy, and he still thought it wuz the most thrillin’ -book that wuz ever wrote, exceptin’ “Alonzo and -Melissa.” “<i>That</i>,” he said, “never will be equalled -for heart-breakin’ interest.”</p> - -<p>So as we journeyed along he talked a sight about -Wallace and that claymore of hisen. “Why,” sez -he, “it must have weighed 4 hundred or 5 hundred -pounds. What a man he wuz to wield it as he did -and cut down his enemies with it!</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</span></p> - -<p>“Why,” sez he, “it would take two common -men to lift it, they say, and what a sight it must -have been to see him swingin’ that round his head -and mowin’ down his enemies jest as Ury would -mow down oats!”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Josiah, I hope you are too good to enjoy -sech a blood-curdlin’ sight, if it ever took place, but -you must be careful about believin’ everything you -hear about Wallace. I suppose that, like King Arthur, -an old Illiad that Thomas J. ust to read -about so much, lots of things has been told about -him that never took place.”</p> - -<p>“Take care, Samantha; I can stand a good deal -from a pardner, but when you go to doubtin’ William -Wallace, then is the time for a man to take a stand.</p> - -<p>“Why, you’ll be a-doubtin’ ‘Thaddeus of Warsaw’ -next. I wuz brung up on them books,” sez he, -“and on them books I take my stand. If I’d hefted -that claymore myself, I couldn’t believe in it any -more ’n I do.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, a-tryin’ to bring him back into the plains of -megumness and reason—</p> - -<p>“You know history sez that Wallace wuz a sheep-stealer, -in the first place. Don’t pin your faith onto -him too much, Josiah Allen.”</p> - -<p>“A sheep-stealer!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</span></p> - -<p>Wall, I will pin up a heavy shawl between Josiah -Allen and the public for the next few minutes. -I guess I’ll hang up my Paisley shawl, that’s pretty -thick, and I too will withdraw myself behind it.</p> - -<p>Suffice it to say when we emerged from behind -it, I wuz a-sayin’—</p> - -<p>“Wall, wall, I spoze like as not he did own a -claymore, Josiah Allen, and I dare say it wuz a -pretty hefty one.” And then I turned the subject -off onto Robert Burns, and bagpipes, and sech.</p> - -<p>Truly there is a time for pardners to stand their -ground, and a time for ’em to gin in. When they -see blood-vessels are on the pint of bustin’ and pardners -are chokin’ with rage—gin in to ’em if you can, -and keep your principles.</p> - -<p>I allers foller this receipt, and it has bore me on -triumphant.</p> - -<p>Truly great is the mystery of pardners.</p> - -<p>Wall, Josiah got real sentimental a-talkin’ about -Wallace’s first wife, Marion, and his second wife, -Helen Mar. “You know,” sez Josiah, “Helen said -in them last hours—‘My life must expire with his.’”</p> - -<p>And I sez, “Wall, it did at jest about the same time—she -died of a broken heart,” sez I, bein’ willin’ to -talk kind o’ sentimental with him, and soothe him -down.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</span></p> -<p>“Yes,” sez Josiah, “and don’t you remember -what Bothwell said ‘as he raised her clay-cold face -from Wallace’s coffin’—</p> - -<p>“‘They loved in their lives, and in their deaths -they shall not be divided’?”</p> - -<p>Josiah was dretful sentimental at them reminescences, -but he gradually chirked up agin, and by the -time we come in sight of that tower of William -Wallace’s, in Ayr, more’n a hundred feet high, Josiah’s -sperits riz up almost as high as that tower.</p> - -<p>Ayr is the seen of some of the most thrillin’ -events of Wallace’s life. Here he would sally out -aginst his enemies—here he wuz took by ’em and -imprisoned. Here Robert Bruce and his troops -made it their headquarters for a spell, and so did -Cromwell and his army.</p> - -<p>It is a dretful interestin’ spot on lots of accounts, -but on none of ’em so much as bein’ the birthplace -of Robert Burns.</p> - -<p>The humble cottage where the immortal flower -of Genius sprung up like a tall white lily out of the -dust of the wayside—</p> - -<p>This cottage is on the banks of Bonny Doon—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">There Simmer first unfaulds her robes,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">And there she langest tarries,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And there he took his last farewell</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Of his sweet Highland Mary.</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>The<span class="pagenum" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</span> immortal tenderness and sweetness of that -love meetin’ and partin’ has made the waters of -Bonny Doon ripple along full of the melodies of -the past.</p> - -<p>In Nater there is a universal tendency to retain -the good and beautiful, and forgit the commonplace -and dreary. We forgit the steamin’ vats and big -cheeses Mary must have had to turn and lift at her -place of service, Gavin Hamilton’s, or, as Burns -called it—“The Castle of Montgomerie.”</p> - -<p>We forgit all the toilsome labor that must have -turned Mary’s pretty hands brown and hard, and -made her slim back ache.</p> - -<p>We forgit the achin’ “Ploughman shanks” the -laborer Burns must have carried sometimes to their -trystin’ place beside the Bonny Doon.</p> - -<p>For though you may lighten the labor of ploughin’ -by religious poems, like the “Cotter’s Saturday -Night,” or brave, heroic ones, like “Scots wha hae -wi’ Wallace bled,” or verses to “A Mouse” and -“A Mountain Daisy”—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Wee sleekit, cowerin’, tim’rous beastie,”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>and</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Wee modest, crimson-tippéd flower,”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>and “Brigs” and “Glens” and “Water-fowls—”</p> - -<p>And though he may have added a flavor to it by -sarcastic verses to “Holy Willie,” and “The Deil,” -and “The Unco Guid”—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</span></p> - -<p>Yet to hold the heavy plough as it tore its long -furrows in the flinty soil wuz weary work, and the -back and arms of the poet must have ached as sorely -as any other ploughman’s.</p> - -<p>But you forgit all that; they dwell here forever -care free, serene in glowin’ youth and beauty.</p> - -<p>How near they seemed to me, these immortal -lovers, as I stood there lost in thought by the ripplin’ -waters of the Bonny Doon!</p> - -<p>The white clouds floated along in the same blue -bendin’ Heavens; the bright waters dimpled and -laughed along jest as gayly and crystal clear, and -their memory dominated all things above and -below.</p> - -<p>Here they stood, happy youth and maiden, beside -the overrunnin’ Doon, that carries ’em on, and will -carry ’em on forever, through the land of Love and -of Fame.</p> - -<p>She is a-lookin’ up with blue, love-lit eyes into his -eager, ardent face. He is sayin’ to her, as he did a -hundred years ago—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Will ye go to the Indies, my Mary,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">And leave auld Scotia’s shore?</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Will ye go to the Indies, my Mary,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Across the Atlantic’s roar?</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">Oh, sweet grow the lime and the orange,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">And the apple on the pine;</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</span></p> - <div class="verse indent0">But a’ the charms o’ the Indies</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Can never equal thine.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And agin he is sayin’, as we imagine, with a smile -and a tear in his half sad, half humorous way—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Bonnie wee thing, cannie wee thing,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Lovely wee thing, wert thou mine,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">I wad wear thee in my bosom,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Lest my jewel I should tine.</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Wishfully I look and languish</div> - <div class="verse indent2">In that bonnie face o’ thine;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And my heart it stounds wi’ anguish,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Lest my wee thing be na mine.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Wall, his forebodin’ wuz correct; Death, a more -triumphant and constant lover than poor Burns -would have been, bore off the bonny lassie into his -icy but secure realm—mebby beyend the star her -bereft lover apostrophized so long afterwards a-talkin’ -to her “dear departed shade—”</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Thou ling’ring star, with less’ning ray,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">That lovest to greet the early morn;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Again thou usher’st in the day</div> - <div class="verse indent2">My Mary from my soul was torn.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<div class="figcenter illowp64" id="i_230" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_230.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>This immortal pair of lovers.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>But though Death bore her off in her first sweet -youth, and him long years after, a sad, middle-aged -man, with a big family of children, who called -another woman mother—still they stand there by the -Bonny Doon.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</span></p> -<p>The blue eyes and the brown eyes (that have been -dust for a century) are still lookin’ love to each -other.</p> - -<p>Warm, clingin’ hands, that can hardly be torn -apart, love so great that it fills the universe—love! -constancy! despair! heartache! flowin’ out from -the rapt atmosphere that surrounds this immortal -pair of lovers; it is a power that enfolds all feelin’ -hearts.</p> - -<p>The deep emotions that sanctified that spot live -on still in the heart of the world.</p> - -<p>Devotion! heart-breakin’ grief! death! eternity! -they are all brought nearer as we stand by these -sparklin’ waters that flow on forever, whisperin’ -the names of Robert Burns and his Highland -Mary.</p> - -<p>Other thoughts come to us anon, or a little later—thoughts -of the labors and struggles of the poet to -make a home and respectable livin’ for his family.</p> - -<p>The warm poet nater, endowed, as all true poet -souls are, with the fiery “love of love, and hate -of hate, and scorn of scorn,” tryin’ to make its way -in a practical, money-lovin’ age.</p> - -<p>It wuz some like takin’ an eagle down from the -heights, and trainin’ it to become a barn-yard fowl, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</span>or breakin’ in a wild gazelle to churn in a treadle -machine.</p> - -<p>It wuz hard work!</p> - -<p>And the fashionable world, that took him up with -the interest it would give to a new toy of a novel -design, soon grew weary of him, and turned away -coldly from the strugglin’ poet, in his unequal conflict -with poor land, high rents, misaprehension, -poverty, and hardships.</p> - -<p>No wonder he turned away from the world at -last and said to poor Jean (she that wuz Jean -Armour), the wife who had been constant to him in -evil and good report—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“I am wearin’ awa’, Jean;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Like snow in a thaw, Jean,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">I am wearin’ awa’</div> - <div class="verse indent0">To the Land o’ the Leal.</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“And there I would be fain</div> - <div class="verse indent0">In the Land o’ the Leal.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>No wonder he said it, poor creeter!</p> - -<p>I spoze the gay world apoligized for its neglect -and coldness by sayin’ that Burns drinked and -cut up.</p> - -<p>Wall, I spoze he did—some; but he wuz a good-hearted -creeter.</p> - -<p>And anyway they overlooked it in the first place, -and ’em who worship his memory now look calmly -over them faults as if they were mere specks on a -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</span> -blazin’ sun.</p> - -<p>Why didn’t they do so then? Why didn’t they -take a few of the posies they scatter on his cold -tomb to-day (one hundred years too late) and lay -’em in the tired, hard-workin’ hands, toilin’ on at -Nithsdale?</p> - -<p>Why didn’t they take a few bits from the banquets -they spread now to his memory (one hundred -years too late) and give it to the half-starvin’ poet -and his wife and little ones, while it would have -done some good?</p> - -<p>Why didn’t they take a little of the immense -sums they spend in marble blocks and shafts to rear -monuments to him all over the world, to buy a few -comforts for himself and his loved ones?</p> - -<p>For what did almost his last letter state, he had -writ to a friend askin’ some relief, for without it, -he sez—</p> - -<p>“If I die not of disease, I must perish of hunger.”</p> - -<p>Heart-sick with the tyrrany of his employers, the -little minds about him, who mebby rejoiced to tyrranize -over and torment a soul so much above their -own. Heart-sick with the neglect of the world, he -fell asleep July 21st, 1795.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</span></p> -<p>About a month before his death he writ to a -friend—</p> - -<p>“As to my individual self I am tranquil, but -Burns’ poor widow and half a dozen of his dear little -ones, helpless orphans. Here I am weak as a -woman’s tear, ’tis half of my disease,” etc.</p> - -<p>I should think Scotland would be ashamed of -herself. I honestly should, to let her greatest pride -and glory die of a broken heart, caused by her neglect -and heartlessness, and then praise him up so -and spend sech sums of money on his tombstones, -and things (one hundred years too late).</p> - -<p>But, then, it’s a trait in human nater. Scotland -hain’t the only country that duz it.</p> - -<p>It is nateral to torment and torture the soarin’ -bird of Genius, and pluck out the plumage from its -quiverin’ flesh one at a time—cut its feathers -down, hang weights to its wings, and act.</p> - -<p>And then when the agonized and heart-broken -soul has took its flight out of the tortured body, to -stuff that soulless effigy with the softest and warmest -stuffin’ of praise and appreciation, put jewels in -the blind eye sockets, cover the cold breast with -diamond bright stars of praise, and lift it up on -high, up on top of the soarinest monuments they -can raise to its honor.</p> - -<p>Too late, <i>too late</i>!</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</span></p> -<p>But I am indeed a-eppisodin’; and to resoom.</p> - -<p>Everybody in the village had sunthin’ to say of -Burns. Everybody wuz proud of livin’ in the place -his feet had once trod.</p> - -<p>Them who looked the coldest on him when -livin’, or descendents of them who had wrung his -sensitive soul while warm and beatin’, and achin’ -for sympathy—</p> - -<p>Descendents of the big man of the village, “Holy -Willie” himself, who once would not have spoken -to his humble neighbor, or if he’d spoken at all, -they’d been words of insult that would have rankled -in the soul of the poet, now considered it their -greatest pride and honor to live in the country that -gave him birth.</p> - -<p>The cottage is a low, long buildin’ only one -story high. And jest think of it, how many are -born in five-story houses that nobody hears from -afterwards. The roof is thatched, the floors are -stun, clean and white. A cupboard full of dishes -stood on one side of the room.</p> - -<p>There wuz some letters that Burns writ with -his own hand. I thought more of seein’ ’em than -any of the other relicks. Letters that his own -hand rested on—his own ardent, handsome face -had bent over. What emotions they gin me; I -never can tell the heft and number on ’em.</p> - -<p>Yes, the thought of Burns filled the place,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</span> jest -as some strong, rich perfume fills the hull room -where it has been spilt.</p> - -<p>I didn’t hear much of anything said about Miss -Burns (she that wuz Jean Armour), but I took -quite a considerable spell of time and devoted it to -jest thinkin’ about her. I didn’t think it wuz no -more’n right that I should.</p> - -<p>I spoze she felt real proud to be the wife of sech -a great man, and it wuz a great thing. But, then, -she had her troubles. Poor thing! patient, hard-workin’ -creeter! Washin’ dishes, mendin’ clothes, -takin’ care of the children, takin’ all the care she -could of her husband. And then when she got -him all mended up for the week, and as good -vittles for him as she could with what she had to -do with—then to have him a-writin’ verses to other -wimmen!</p> - -<p>A-takin’ the strength her own pot-pies and puddin’s -had gin him, and a-spendin’ it all on writin’ -verses to other females.</p> - -<p>His heart a-beatin’ voyalent aginst the vest she -had newly vamped for some other “Chloris” or -“Clorinda” or etc., etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>A-walkin’ off in the stockin’s she had new heeled to -catch a glimpse of some “lassie wi’ lint white locks,” -so’s he could put her rustic beauty into rhyme.</p> - -<p>A-throwin’ himself down in a good coat that<span class="pagenum" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</span> -she’d jest washed and fixed up, to look up into -the sky and apostrofize some other female up in -Heaven.</p> - -<p>It must have been tough on Jean—fearful gauldin’ -to her!</p> - -<p>But, then, mebby she wuz willin’ to have the fire -of his genius catch a brightness and glow from -any object. And woman’s beauty wuz always, to -Robert Burns, what the very best kindlin’ wood -is to me when vittles are to be produced in a hurry.</p> - -<p>Mebby she looked on it with a lenitent eye—most -likely she did, or she couldn’t thought so -much on him as she did.</p> - -<p>I guess he wuz a good, tender husband to her, -and a good provider, so fur as his means went.</p> - -<p>But thinks I, here is another sample of the -devotion and constancy of my own sect. I thought -on her about 17 minutes.</p> - -<p>Other tourists may foller my example or not, jest -as they think best, but I done it, and am glad on’t. -But to resoom.</p> - -<p>We then went to see the old Bridge of Ayr, -whose single arch connects each green shore. It -wuz over this bridge that Tam o’ Shanter rode on -the old mair Maggie, pursued by witches, “Wi’ -mony an eldritch screech and hollow.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</span></p> -<p>And I eppisoded some. I have to in the strangest -places. I methought that the same furies that -pursued the drunken Tam is still sold in the same -old inn, and even in the very birthplace of the -poet.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp91" id="i_238" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_238.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>The same furies that pursued the drunken Tam.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>The same sperits of delerious fear, and senseless -terror, are bought and sold at so much a glass. -Poets live and poets die—empires rise and empires -fall, but whiskey has to be sold jest the same. -Drunkards race through their sottish lives, hag rid -by the furies of drink and debauch. And mairs -have to be rid to death, and have their tails cut -off.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</span></p> - -<p>Sez Josiah, “It wuz probble a witch that cut off -the mair’s tail.”</p> - -<p>Till he answered me, I hadn’t mistrusted that I -wuz a-eppisodin’ out loud.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “That is to tippify how drunkards abuse -their animals, most likely,” sez I, “and to show -that these foul sperits don’t have no power where -pure water is in full sway.</p> - -<p>“The drink demon hates water,” sez I.</p> - -<p>But Josiah sez—“Wall, wall! I didn’t walk out -here to hold a Temperance Meetin’!” Sez he sarcastickally, -“This hain’t a Total Abstinence Society!”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “It’s a pity there wuzn’t one here a hundred -years ago!” Sez I, “Probble it would have -saved poor Burns from a good deal that he went -through, and,” sez I, “it would be a-settin’ a different -sample before young folks from the one that -wuz sot, and is still a-settin’—a sample his genius, -and noble qualities, and his light-hearted good -nater tempt ’em to foller.”</p> - -<p>Sez Josiah, “Hain’t you got a Temperance -Pledge round you, Samantha, or some badges, or -some banners, or white ribbins, or sunthin’?”</p> - -<p>Sez he ironacly, “I could carry a banner with -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</span>‘Temperance’ or ‘W. C. T. U.’ on it jest as -well as not, and I’d ruther lug it round and be -done with it than to have to everlastin’ly hear on’t.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I soothin’ly, “we will go back now -and have a good lunch.”</p> - -<p>And as we wended along, I meditated that mebby -I hadn’t gin enough thought to my pardner’s feelin’s. -For truly mortals have not now any more -than in the time of Burns the “gift to see oursels -as ithers see us.”</p> - -<p>But I wuz upheld by thinkin’ I’d talked on -principle, and that is a dretful upholdin’ thought.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XIII">CHAPTER XIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">EDINBURGH AND MARY QUEEN OF SCOTS.</p> - -<p>Wall, from Glasgow we went to Edinburgh, and -we found that that wuz a beautiful city, beautiful, -with the ancient castle perched up on the rocks -four hundred feet above, and old Edinburgh a-lyin’ -at its feet, like old Vassals that gathers round their -Chieftan; all on ’em aged, but loth to part.</p> - -<p>The streets of old Edinburgh are so narrer that -you can almost reach to both sides of ’em and touch -the houses.</p> - -<p>The houses, with pinted ruffs and gabriel ends, -are quaint and picturesque in the extreme, and interestin’.</p> - -<p>Between the new and the old is a gulf, as there -often is, but partly filled up with a R. R. Station, -and statutes and gardens and handsome bridges are -throwed acrost it.</p> - -<p>New Edinburgh is laid out dretful handsome, with -broad, wide streets and handsome buildin’s, and -statutes and fountains and parks and everything -else that it needs for its comfort; and it might -have got along with less on ’em, it seemed to me. -I rode through ’em, for Martin always said he -wanted to view every city exhaustively.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</span></p> - -<p>And we did it every time we rid out with him; -I come home perfectly exhausted. He wanted to -see so much, so much, in sech a short, sech a very -short time.</p> - -<p>Yes, indeed!</p> - -<p>Oh, dear me suz!</p> - -<p>When Josiah and me went alone by ourselves we -took as much agin comfort, for though mebby I -didn’t see so many things, I see ’em much better. -My brain didn’t reel nigh so much, nor my spectacles -wobble so.</p> - -<p>Why, with Martin I would no sooner git them -specs sot on anything, a steeple or anything, but -them poor specs would have to do as poor little -Joe did, that Dickens wrote about, “move along,” -and move lively, too.</p> - -<p>I wuz sorry for ’em and for the eyes under ’em.</p> - -<p>Yes, indeed, I wuz!</p> - -<p>Half of the time Martin wouldn’t look at the different -things at all. But he said that he had never -visited Edinburgh before, and that he wanted to -take in all the sights.</p> - -<p>And I believe my soul wuz raced through every -solitary street that day we wuz out together.</p> - -<p>He seemed to feel well when we got back to the -hotel, he seemed to sort o’ wake up or roust up. -I d’no as he had been sound asleep, mebby he’d<span class="pagenum" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</span> been -in a deep study about sunthin’—about his money-makin’, -I guess. But his eyes wuz shet a good deal -of the time.</p> - -<p>But he said, with a happy look, that we had accomplished -a great deal.</p> - -<p>I knew he’d accomplished one thing, he had jest -about killed one female.</p> - -<p>And my poor pardner! poor creeter! wuz not -his looks pitiful? He bore up in Martin’s sight -(that man is kinder deceitful, but I wouldn’t want -him to hear that I said it).</p> - -<p>But when we wuz alone, he would take on, and -limp, more’n I believe wuz neccessary.</p> - -<p>Sez I—“You’ve no need to limp, Josiah; you rid -most all the way.”</p> - -<p>“Rid! I should think I had rid! I’m bed rid, -that’s what ails me! I never shall be good for -nothin’ agin. We’ve been four hundred milds sence -we sot out, if we’ve been a step!”</p> - -<p>And he sunk down onto the bed and groaned -loud, so’s you could hear him quite a good ways.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “let’s bear up under it the best we -can—it’s all paid for.”</p> - -<p>“What good duz payin’ for a thing do that kills -you?” Sez he, “When you’re killed, payin’ for things -hain’t a-goin’ to help you! Oh! if I ever set foot -on my farm agin,” sez he, “I’ll never leave it to go<span class="pagenum" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</span> -to meetin’, or anywhere.”</p> - -<p>No megumness here, as I could see, but I pitied -him and sympathized with him deeply.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “It would seem dretful good, wouldn’t it, -Josiah, to see you a-comin’ in with two pails of -milk? It would be jest about this time you’d want -the milk scum for the calves.”</p> - -<p>“Don’t mention it!” he groaned, “them happy -times wuz too happy to last; we didn’t appreciate -’em.”</p> - -<p>“No,” sez I; “don’t you remember how you ust -to dum the calves, and barn chores?”</p> - -<p>“I praised ’em always,” sez he stoutly, “and I’d -ruther milk my hull herd of Jerseys now this minute -than to eat!”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “I don’t believe I appreciated how happy -I wuz a-standin’ by the buttery winder, calm and -peaceful, a-washin’ dishes, or a-skimmin’ milk, and -a-seein’ the red sun a-sinkin’ low beneath Balcom’s -hill; and the sweet south wind a-wavin’ the mornin’-glory -vines, and my snow-white strainer spread on -the blossomin’ rose-bush under the winder. And -the sight of the barns lookin’ so good, and sort o’ -settled down and at rest, and the hen-house, and the -ash-house, and the garden—”</p> - -<p>“And how I ust to ketch the <span class="pagenum" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</span>old mair,” sez Josiah, -“and we’d ride over and see the children after -the chores wuz done. Oh! happy days,” sez he, -“we never shall see you agin!”</p> - -<p>“Yes you will, Josiah Allen,” sez I; “bear up, -and we will anon be back in our own peaceful home.”</p> - -<p>And wantin’ to roust him up still further out of -his despondency, I sez, “You will enjoy that home -better than ever now, for how you will enjoy tellin’ -Uncle Smedley all about what you see to-day, Josiah -Allen.”</p> - -<p>He brightened up; “Yes, Samantha, if I ever -live to get home, it will be a treat to tell what we -went through, and,” sez he, “won’t Uncle Smedley -open his eyes when I tell him of——”</p> - -<p>Alas! alas! I had done what I sot out to do. I had -lightened my pardner’s gloom, but wearisome wuz -the hours I spent a-hearin’ him rehearse what he -wuz a-goin’ to tell the Jonesvillians.</p> - -<p>Oh, the peticulars, oh, the peticulars! It wuz -hard to tread the ground over under the rain of a -Martin, but it wuz harder still to hear ’em rehearsed -by the voice of a Josiah.</p> - -<p>But of course I lived through it, or I wouldn’t -be here to tell the tale.</p> - -<p>Martin always done the fair thing, so fur as gittin’ -good places to stay wuz concerned, and we had a -plenty of everything for our comfort, only jest that -one thing—rest.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</span></p> - -<p>But my onusual common sense learnt me that I -mustn’t expect to be to home and on a tower at -the same time.</p> - -<p>And I felt quite grateful to Martin for invitin’ us -to go with him—a good deal of the time I did; and -I tried to do my part as well as I could. I kep’ a -eye on Adrian, and see that his clothes and feet wuz -dry, and see that he learnt his Sunday-school lesson, -and see that Alice took her cough medicine -every day; and when Martin took it into his head -to go off for a day or two, he felt easy about the -children, knowin’ my love and care for ’em couldn’t -be excelled and gone beyend by anybody. He said -it wuz a great care offen his mind, and made him -feel at liberty to go and come.</p> - -<p>He had to see certain men on business in these -different countries where we went, and I presoom -he did feel better to know that the children had -some one with ’em that loved ’em while he was off -milds away for days at a time.</p> - -<p>And Alice kep’ a-sayin’ every day that she -couldn’t have got along without me anyway. And -I presoom I wuz some company for her; anyway, I -loved her, and she knew it. You can’t hide sech -feelin’s under a bushel.</p> - -<p>And lots of times I gladly,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</span> <i>gladly</i> stayed to home -with Adrian while Alice went out with her Pa. -She would say so sweetly that it wuz too bad to -deprive me of the pleasure of goin’ out with her -Pa.</p> - -<p>And I would say, “Don’t mention it, Alice; I -am perfectly willin’ to stay to home with Adrian.” -And Heaven knows I spoke the truth!</p> - -<p>She would come home, the horses covered with -sweat, and Martin and herself all fagged out; but -the fagness of 20 hain’t like the fagness of——more -maturer and older years.</p> - -<p>And in the mornin’ she’d be ready for another -start.</p> - -<p>Of course some of the excursions I gladly jined -in. I wuz glad enough to go to see Holyrood -Palace, once the home of Mary Stuart, Queen of -Scots—Miss Darnley, she that wuz Stuart.</p> - -<p>The most interestin’ queen that ever walked down -the pages of history. A-walkin’ along with her big, -soft eyes bent kinder downwards under that cap of -hern, and her sweet face a-drawin’ men’s hearts -out of their bodies to foller her to the throne, or -the scaffold, as she trod onwards. Heaven pity her -for her sorrow! If she wuz true or false, she atoned -for her sin, poor thing! by the hardness of her -fate.</p> - -<p>Poor <span class="pagenum" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</span>Mary! poor Miss Stuart that wuz! I wuz -always sorry for her, and I always believed her cousin -Lizabeth wuz jealous of her.</p> - -<p>You know Lib wuzn’t very good-lookin’, and she -wuz as vain as a pea-hen, and it gaulded her to -have her cousin praised up so to her.</p> - -<p>Relations are dretful mean sometimes, they’re -dretful jealous of each other—cousins specially; -and though they don’t make a practice of beheadin’ -the ones they are jealous of, yet they stab ’em -with the sharp, pizened daggers of detraction, lies, -hatred, envy, mean insinuations, total incomprehension -of their motives, etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>So if you have to live nigh ’em, you might jest -about as well have your head cut off, and done -with it.</p> - -<p>But to resoom. We see the rooms, not very big -either, that poor Mary, Queen of Scots, ust to -live in.</p> - -<p>It made me feel real bad to see in what a condition -her rooms wuz kep’. Poor thing! it seems as if -she went through with enough while she wuz alive -to have some respect paid to her memory now, and -her rooms kep’ clean.</p> - -<p>But they wuz dusty and dingy lookin’. The -curtains round the bed where that pretty head ust -to lay a-dreamin’—what?—wuz all ragged.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</span></p> -<p>I wouldn’t have sech ragged things in my back -chamber. But, poor thing! I didn’t lay anything to -her; my rooms git out of order if I leave ’em for -three days. And if I wuz away for three hundred -years, mine would look jest as bad, and mebby -worse.</p> - -<p>Josiah wuz dretful took up in lookin’ at them blood -spots in the anty-room, but I wouldn’t look at ’em. -Sez I—</p> - -<p>“If them stains are made new every few days -from beef creeters, hens, or etcetery, I certainly -don’t want to see ’em. And if they’re made by the -blood of that Italian Rizzio, I wouldn’t give a cent -to see ’em.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “I’m sorry for him, but I don’t believe -he wuz what he ort to be. Anyway, he ort to known -he wuz a-makin’ trouble in a family; men ortn’t -to make pardners jealous of ’em if they can help -it. But,” sez I, after thinkin’ a minute, “I d’no as -he could help it. That fatal power Mary wielded -held him, poor creeter! and drawed him on to his -fate, jest as it did the jealous pardner, when the -time come.”</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp100" id="i_250" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_250.jpg" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p>Wall, I had sights of emotions in that palace and -in the chapel adjoinin’, where we trod over the -graves of so many kings and queens once so high -and mighty, now nothin’ but dust.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</span></p> - -<p>Curous, curous, hain’t it? Wall, I went with -’em to visit the castle of Edinburgh. And the view -from them rampants wuz so wide and extended -that Josiah vowed he could see clear over to Jonesville. -I disputed him, but he said and stuck to it, -that he recognized the steeple.</p> - -<p>I knew better, but it wuz a grand and sweepin’ -view as I ever see, or ever expect to see. All Scotland -lay spread out before us, some as our old map -would if it wuz spread on the kitchen floor, and I -looked down on it from the top of the kitchen -table.</p> - -<p>We see the room here where poor Mary, Queen -of Scots, gave birth to a prince, James VI., afterwards -James 1st of England. What she went -through in this room! For when her baby wuz only -eight days old it wuz let down in a basket from the -cliff. Jest think on’t, sech a little baby let down -four hundred feet; but it wuz to save his life, and -she stood it.</p> - -<p>Here we see the crown that they said rested on -the head of Robert Bruce. And we see the place -where so many, so many politicians had their heads -cut off.</p> - -<p>I didn’t<span class="pagenum" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</span> like to hear sech talk, and I showed that -I didn’t by my mean. But I proposed that we -should jine Martin. He wuz a-settin’ down in -front of them rampants a-addin’ up a row of figgers -in a account book.</p> - -<p>He said that it wuz some home business that had -to be attended to. As he put the book back in his -pocket, and proposed that we should start for somewhere -else, I sez, “The view is enchantin’ from -here, hain’t it, Martin?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he in a absent-minded way, without -turnin’ his head—</p> - -<p>“Yes; there! I forgot to add that last five -thousand dollars to the balance,” and he wrote it -down as we walked onwards.</p> - -<p>But my remark wuz evidently a-hangin’ round in -some by-place in his mind, for he presently remarked -as he went down the path—</p> - -<p>“Yes, as you say, the view is perfectly enchanting.”</p> - -<p>And he gazed dreamily at the rocks that riz up -before us and shet out every mite of view from that -place.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi stood on the lofty eminence a-lookin’ -off in silence, and it seemed as though he couldn’t -hardly be tore from the seen; and the grandeur -and beauty wuz reflected in his eyes, some as you -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</span>can see your own face in a pardner’s orbs if you -look clost and lovin’ into ’em.</p> - -<p>Alice and Adrian wuz a-walkin’ along, and -seemed to be enjoyin’ themselves first-rate.</p> - -<p>Adrian wuz a-askin’ her quite a number of -questions about Robert Bruce and King James, -etc., etc., and she wuz a-answerin’ him quite lusid; -bein’ so late at school made her quite a adept in -history, adepter than any of the rest of us wuz, by -fur.</p> - -<p>Wall, we went to the Church of St. Giles, and -we see the Heart of Mid Lothian. I had heard -Thomas J. read the story, and I wuz interested in it.</p> - -<p>In the northwest corner of the church there is -a heart cut in the pavement, and here the old -Tolbooth, the city prison, first stood. In St. Giles -Churchyard John Knox wuz buried.</p> - -<p>The grave-stun has nothin’ but his initial and -the date of his death. As I looked at it, I -thought what long epitaphs—and in poetry, too, -some on ’em—failed to git any attention from -posterity. But as long as posterity lives—and I -spoze that will be a good while yet—this unasumin’ -grave will be visited, for a Man lies buried -here—a hero who wuzn’t afraid to speak his mind, -and who follered the right, so fur as he see it, -through good and evil report.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</span></p> -<p>Wall, in the Parliament House we see a copy -of the first Bible that wuz ever printed. That -gin me a sight of emotions—a sight; and I had -quite a number of emotions a-seein’ the manuscript -of the Waverley Novels, and in meditatin’ that -Walter’s own hand rested on these pages.</p> - -<p>Kinder tired hands some of the time, no doubt, -and the eyes above heavy from study and toil. -And he (Walter) not a-dreamin’ how so many years -after she who wuz once Smith would stand and -look on ’em with respect and almost veneration.</p> - -<p>No; he didn’t have this to encourage him and -make him happy, poor creeter!</p> - -<p>But how well he did; how much happiness he -has gin, and how much valuable information has -been took onbeknown from the pages of his stories, -like powders of smartweed in a spunful of honey.</p> - -<p>Old Gray Friar’s Church and churchyard wuz -dretful interestin’ to us on account of a good many -things.</p> - -<p>Alice and I wuz extremely interested to learn -that here wuz where Walter Scott ust to come to -meetin’ in his young days. And to see the graves -of his Pa and his Ma, and some of the rest of his -folks in the old churchyard.</p> - -<p>In this meetin’-house the National Covenant wuz -signed in 1638. After listenin’ to a heart-searchin’ sermon -by Alexander Henderson this paper wuz signed -by the Earl of Sutherland, and all the rest of the folks<span class="pagenum" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</span> -who wuz to meetin’ that day. It wuz then took out -into the buryin’-ground outside, and spread out on -a flat tombstone—a fittin’ spot, jedgin’ from what -come afterwards—and signed by crowds and crowds -of the people. Some writ their names in blood, -showin’ their willingness to die for the Faith.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp51" id="i_254" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_254.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>The National Covenant signed by the Earl of Sutherland.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>This wuz the Confession of Faith of 1580, drawed -up by the principal Presbyterian ministers of Edinburgh. -Them that signed it agreed to protect and -preserve their religion even to the death.</p> - -<p>And these Covenanters wuz persecuted and killed -for their faith, and then, when they wuz in power, -they wuz jest as cruel to their persecutors.</p> - -<p>And all in the name of Religion. Sweet sperit, -how can she stand it? But I spoze she made allowances -for ’em, a-thinkin’ they wuz mistook.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi looked down in silence on the stun with -a railin’ round it where the Covenant wuz written. -And finally he took out that book of hisen with a -cross on it, and he writ quite a lot in it. What it -wuz I d’no.</p> - -<p>And as he stood in front of that monument, riz -up there to the memory of the martyrs put to death -for their religion, he writ a hull lot more.</p> - -<p>I myself got a piece of paper from Josiah’s -account book, and I had a pencil with me, and I -copied this inscription, so’s to let Thomas<span class="pagenum" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</span> J. see it.</p> - -<p>It wuz dretful readin’. As History held up her -torch to light me as I writ it down, mournin’ weeds -seemed to wrop her round and droop over her forward, -and her face looked cold and pale and awful -out from under them weeds. It read as follers—</p> - -<p>And I thought, I can tell you, as I read it of -how Miss Argyll felt and Miss Renwick and the -children, for though it is a good ways back, it hurt -jest as bad to have your head cut off then as it duz -now, and hearts of loved ones who wuz left ached -jest as bad.</p> - -<p>It read as follers—</p> - -<p>“From May 27, 1661, that the most noble Marquise -of Argyll was beheaded, to the 17th of February, -1668, that Mr. James Renwick suffered, were -one way or other murdered or destroyed for the -same cause about 18,000, of whom were executed -in Edinburgh about 100 of noblemen, gentlemen, -ministers, and other noble martyrs for Jesus -Christ.”</p> - -<p>Al Faizi’s face wuz a deep study as he stood -there.</p> - -<p>And he sez to Martin, who had sauntered up and -wuz a-lookin’ round, with his hands in his pantaloons -pockets—</p> - -<p>Sez Al Faizi—“This<span class="pagenum" id="Page_257">[Pg 257]</span> war was between Presbyterians -and Catholics?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez Martin.</p> - -<p>“Both of these religious sects thought they were -right?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez Martin; “I suppose so.”</p> - -<p>“They both send missionaries to my people?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez Martin; “quite likely; of course they -do.”</p> - -<p>Al Faizi didn’t say nothin’, but he writ down -quite a lot more; what it wuz I d’no.</p> - -<p>But his face looked very thoughtful, and the -light struck that jewelled cross on the back of his -little book, and its rays streamed out as red as -blood.</p> - -<p>But he kinder shifted it a little after awhile, and -a pure and lambient light gleamed from it.</p> - -<p>Queer! I’d like to know what them stuns wuz.</p> - -<p>I d’no what Josiah did think as he looked -at that monument, but I had a sight of emotions, -and of great size. And I sez to my pardner—</p> - -<p>“One thing I am impressed by as I read of these -dretful things done by men who thought they wuz -doin’ right,” sez I, “it learns me to not be too set -in my own way, even when I think I am right.”</p> - -<p>Sez Josiah, “I always knew you wuz too sot!”</p> - -<p>Somehow the words grated on my nerve. It is -so much easier to run yourself down than to be -run.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_258">[Pg 258]</span></p> - -<p>But right here in front of so many martyrs I -wuzn’t goin’ to be overcome by a muskeeter, for -truly my sufferin’s wuzn’t bigger than that, compared -to theirn.</p> - -<p>And I wuz jest a-goin’ to complete my self-conquest -by speakin’ soft to him, when he whispered -to me—</p> - -<p>“I’m as hungry as a bear, Samantha. Not a -bear in a circus,” sez he, “but a Rocky Mountain -bear.</p> - -<p>“I wonder if Martin hain’t about ready to go?”</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin wuz ready by that time; but I see -lots of other things whilst we wuz there. Alice -and Martin went to the Queen’s Drive. I d’no -who the Queen wuz, nor who she driv, nor -how fur.</p> - -<p>And they went to the ruins of St. Anthony’s -Chapel, and Alice raved over the beautiful view -from Arthur’s Seat. I d’no what kind of a -seat it wuz, nor how long Arthur sot in it, but she -said that the view from there wuz enchantin’. And -we all went to the Antiquarian Museum, and see -sights and sights of relicks. Autograph letters from -Charles 2nd, Cromwell, Mary, Queen of Scots, and -we see the old Scotch Covenant with the names of -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_259">[Pg 259]</span>Montrose, Lothair, etc., signed to it. And one -of the banners them Covenanters had bore in their -battles.</p> - -<p>Here wuz the very glass that Prince Charlie -drank from before the battle of Culloden. And -then the pulpit of John Knox; out of which that -man three hundred years -ago thundered out sech -burnin’ words agin the -Church of Rome.</p> - -<p>Here is a piece of the -last garments put on to -Robert Bruce, and in -which he was laid in his -last sleep—a sound sleep. -Poor creeter! disturbed -not by the warlike bugles -and sounds of fray.</p> - -<p>And here is the blue -ribbin of the Knight of -the Garter, wore by -Prince Charlie, and the ring gin to him by Flora -Macdonald as they parted.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp77" id="i_259" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_259.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>When Prince Charlie and Flora Macdonald parted.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And then there wuz sights and sights of weepons, -coins, medallions, seals, old implements, etc., etc.</p> - -<p>But one thing I see there madded me more’n -considerable; it wuz a kind of a gullotine rigged up -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_260">[Pg 260]</span>with a axe, that wuz held up between two posts, and -let down on the necks of ’em they wanted to kill. -This very thing took the life of the Earl of Argyll, -Sir John Gordon, and lots of others.</p> - -<p>But what madded me most wuz the name of the -creeter.</p> - -<p>“The Maiden.”</p> - -<p>It is a wonder they didn’t call it the “Old -Maiden,” if they’d wanted to be a little meaner.</p> - -<p>It rousted me up fearfully to think a lot of men -should rig up such a horrid, death-dealin’ thing to -carry out their bloody and brutal idees and then -call it—“Maiden.”</p> - -<p>Why didn’t they call it after their own selves, -and call it—the “Old Man,” or “the Feller,” or -sunthin’ like that?</p> - -<p>“The Maiden!!!”</p> - -<p>No woman would countenance sech cuttin’ off -the heads of folks, and they knew it. They named -it so to be mean.</p> - -<p>And Martin, sayin’ that it would be expected of -him, and he should have questions asked him by -influential parties which he should want to answer, -went to see lots of Horsepitals, and Schools, and -Universities.</p> - -<p>Josiah went with him one day, and come home -and said Heriot’s Horsepital beat anything he ever -see for architecture, and, sez he, “it wuz designed -by Indigo Jones.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_261">[Pg 261]</span></p> - -<p>Sez I, “I don’t believe any woman ever named -her babe ‘Indigo’ in this world.” And I inquired, -and found out that it wuz “Inigo.”</p> - -<p>Josiah said I hadn’t made out much. It wuzn’t -any better name. But it wuz.</p> - -<p>Indigo! the idee!!</p> - -<p>A little ways out of the town is the home where -Doctor Guthrie lived, and one of the most beautiful -and interestin’ houses I see in Scotland or anywhere -else. It wuz the one his brother, Mr. Thomas -Nelson, built. Every American who goes to Scotland -ort to walk by it and meditate out a spell, anyway, -if they don’t go in.</p> - -<p>Durin’ our late war, when foreign nations thought -our great republic wuz a-totterin’ over to ruin, this -man had faith in us, and invested thousands of -pounds in goverment bonds.</p> - -<p>And the rise in them bonds paid every cent this -palace of hisen cost. I didn’t begrech it to him, -not at all.</p> - -<p>Them in England who invested so largely in -Confederate bonds, and lost every cent, wouldn’t -be so happy in ridin’ by that noble structure and -lookin’ at it, mebby.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_262">[Pg 262]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XIV">CHAPTER XIV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">MEMORIES OF SIR WALTER SCOTT.</p> - -<p>And one excursion I took part in with the -greatest delight and one small satchel—for we wuz -to stay one night—wuz to Melrose Abbey and Abbotsford, -the home of Sir Walter Scott.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp53" id="i_263" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_263.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“I could sing to you,” -sez he.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Josiah said he wanted to see Melrose Abbey by -moonlight. He said it would be so romantic, and, -sez he, “I wish I could have a guitar. How stylish -and romantic it would be for you and me, Samantha, -to visit it by moonlight, and I could sing to -you,” sez he.</p> - -<p>But I sez, “A old couple a-viewin’ that seen by -moonlight, with thick blanket shawls on, and -heavy overshues—and I should wear ’em, Josiah,” -sez I, “and make you wear ’em, for our rumatizes -is bad, and lookin’ up at the moon through -spectacles hain’t what it would be in younger and -less bundled-up days.”</p> - -<p>“Throw a blanket onto it!” sez he; “wet a -blanket wet as sop, and throw it onto my plan. -I never can git you to foller up any idees of mine -that are stylish and romantic.”</p> - -<p>“I’ll foller ’em,” sez I, “but <span class="pagenum" id="Page_263">[Pg 263]</span>I’ve got to foller -’em with an eye on azmy and rumatiz. And as -for your singin’,” sez I, “it don’t seem as if I can -bear it.” And I shuddered imperceptibly; I -thought of the near past.</p> - -<p>But the rubber strings that men’s memories and -consciences are strung on a good deal of the -time had sprung back, and he wuz jest -as ready to be sentimental and bust out -in song as if he hadn’t been took for a -Banshee.</p> - -<p>But we visited the Abbey in broad -daylight, which wuz better for our two -healths at our age. We went to the -Abbey Hotel, close by the Abbey, and -after a comfortable dinner we went -through the little iron gate that leads -into the grand and wonderful ruin.</p> - -<p>It must have been a sight, a sight, in -its early days. But bein’ built in the first place in -1136, it hadn’t ort to be expected to be in the order -it would have been if it had been built in 1836, -and we’d call that bein’ pretty old in our young -country.</p> - -<p>Wall, we walked all round amongst the ruins, -and the waves of the past swashed up aginst me in -a powerful manner.</p> - -<p>Here, sez I to myself,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_264">[Pg 264]</span> is the place where the -heart of Robert Bruce is buried. That eager, restless -heart that dared so much, and endured so -much. Strange, passing strange that that great -heart lays dumb and mute, and Samantha Allen -and her pardner are a-walkin’ over it.</p> - -<p>Here is the grave of the wizard that bold Deloraine -visited, as I told Josiah, and he looked down -with scornful mean, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“He has stopped his wizardin’ now!”</p> - -<p>Josiah has no veneration for the occult.</p> - -<p>And here lies the Earl of Douglas, and here is -the tomb of King Alexander 2nd.</p> - -<p>Hero, king, and wizard, all dust, and through -the tall, ruined arches the blue sky smiles down on -all on ’em alike, and sweet Nater drops on their -restin’-places; on grave and monuments the same -posies, and flowers, and long sprays of ivy.</p> - -<p>Nater is the true democrat; she treats all alike.</p> - -<p>But what richness of carvin’ and design is to be -seen on every side; every ornament that wuz ever -carved, it seems to me, wuz here on the tall pillows -and arches. And that east winder—wall, I wake -up in the night now, and think on’t, the perfect -wonder and symetry of its design, and the marvels -of its stun sculptur.</p> - -<p>But how different folks look at things! Al -Faizi, as he looked up and around him, took in -the beauty and majesty of the seen in every -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_265">[Pg 265]</span> -pore, -as you may say—you could see that in his liniment.</p> - -<p>Alice wuz took up with some of the marvellous -statutes and sculpturs of wreath and blossom. And -Adrian wuz a-pickin’ some flowers. It beat all -what a case that child wuz for flowers. And Josiah -wuz took up, I guess, with musin’ on the failure of -his romantic idees, as he sauntered about. But -Martin, when he’d been there about an hour, he -come up to me, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“Now, having seen everything there is to see -here, I think we had better go. I expect some -letters and telegrams,” sez he, “and I’ve seen sufficient -to reply to any inquiries that could be made -of me at home.”</p> - -<p>Everything we could see! Why, I could have -hung right round there for a week and discovered -some new wonder and beauty every hour.</p> - -<p>But it wuz compromised in this way: Martin -went back to the hotel, and Josiah and Adrian went -with him. And Al Faizi and Alice and I stayed -till night wuz a-drawin’ down her mantilly previous -to puttin’ it on.</p> - -<p>The soft linin’ on’t of crimson and gold wuz -turned over in the west as we walked back to the -little hotel.</p> - -<p>Wall, the next<span class="pagenum" id="Page_266">[Pg 266]</span> mornin’, bright and early, Martin -got a carriage, and we drove three miles to Abbotsford, -the home of Sir Walter Scott.</p> - -<p>By Martin’s advice (that man has good practical -idees) we took our waterproofs and umbrells. And -glad enough wuz we that we did; why, in all our -trips almost waterproofs wuz neccessary companions; -for short, quick showers would descend upon -us at any time seemin’ly, and then pass away jest as -quick.</p> - -<p>Three showers come up that very day, but two -on ’em took place when we wuz inside, and the -third jest before we got home at night, so umbrells -and waterproofs saved us from damage.</p> - -<p>Wall, we found it wuz a beautiful place, castle -and mansion, about half and half. It stands in -well-kep’, handsome grounds and sets down in a -sort of a valley amongst the hills which stands round -it, as if proud on’t and glad to shelter and protect it -all they could.</p> - -<p>Home of industrious talent, so hard-workin’ and -constant as to be as good if not better than -genius.</p> - -<p>The mansion and all round it is full of relicks of -the past.</p> - -<p>The big entrance hall is panelled with dark wood, -and all along the cornice the different Coats of -Arms of the Border is painted in rich colors and -shields, on which is this inscription—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_267">[Pg 267]</span></p> - -<p>“These be the coat armories of the clans and -chief men of name wha keepit the marchys of Scotland -in the auld tyme for the kynge. True men -were they, in their defence. God them defendyt.”</p> - -<p>Here you see battle-axes and breastplates and -weepons of all kinds. Most all on ’em with a -tragic history. Here wuz several suits of armor: -one on ’em holdin’ a big sword in its hand, captured -at Bosworth’s Field. Another holds a immense -claymore took from the battlefield of Culloden.</p> - -<p>Josiah wuz took up with the looks of that, and -he said he wished he owned one, and, sez he, “how -nice it would be if I only had a coat of armor!</p> - -<p>“Why, Samantha,” sez he, “how economical! -When a man got one suit, he never would have to -be measured for another suit of clothes—never be -cheated by tailors or pinched by ’em. Cool in the -summer,” sez he—“how cool and good they would -feel in dog-days, when broadcloth jest clings to you; -and warm in winter. The cold wind couldn’t blow -through them collars,” sez he, alludin’ to the helmets.</p> - -<p>“And then,” sez he, “when your clothes got -dirty, jest wet a towel and clean ’em off—you could -do it in half an hour, and then they’d be good for another -twenty years. I wonder,” sez he, “if I could -dicker with the Widder Scott for one of them<span class="pagenum" id="Page_268">[Pg 268]</span> -suits? Scott’ll never wear ’em agin,” sez he.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp59" id="i_268" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_268.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“When they got dirty, jest wet a towel and clean ’em off.”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>But I hastened to set him right, and, sez I, “Scott -never wore one of ’em. He knew too much. How -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_269">[Pg 269]</span>do you spoze,” sez I, “you could git round and do -your spring’s work a-luggin’ round a ton of old -iron?” Sez I, “You couldn’t lift one of the legs -on’t with both your hands, and how could you -plough with one on ’em on?”</p> - -<p>Sez Josiah dreamily—he wuzn’t hearin’ a word I -said—</p> - -<p>“If I could git it cheaper without that head-piece, -I might use our coal scuttle.” Sez he, “I believe -its shape is more stylish. Oh!” sez he, “what -a excitement I would make a-walkin’ into the -Jonesville meetin’-house with the hull thing on! -how stylish and uneek it would be!</p> - -<p>“Where is the Widder Scott?” sez he; “I’ll -tackle her about it.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “She’s with her noble husband in a land -where style and folly have no home.”</p> - -<p>And then with deep argument I made him see -that a suit of armor was not suitable for farm work -or meetin’-house duties.</p> - -<p>But he gin it up reluctant, and at the last he sez—“How -it would clank and rattle as I passed round -the contribution plate—how all the other deacons -would open their eyes!”</p> - -<p>But I silently led him away to where there wuz a -suit of Scott’s clothes, the last ones he wore.</p> - -<p>And I had a very large variety of emotions as I -looked on the clothes that had wropped round the -magician who had the power to charm the hull<span class="pagenum" id="Page_270">[Pg 270]</span> -world with his magic pen. My emotions drownded -out the talk of the guide and the remarks of Martin -and Josiah. And on one side of the fireplace -stood the famous mistletoe trunk, as it’s called, -that poor Genevra hid herself in on her weddin’ -night. The Baron’s daughter, you know, the one -that her Pa called “The star of that goodly company,” -meanin’, I spoze, that she looked better -than any of the rest of the young folks that he’d -invited in to the weddin’. Poor, pretty, young -creeter! I wuz always dretful sorry for her.</p> - -<p>You know what she said to Lovell, the young -feller she wuz married to (he worshipped the very -ground she walked on).</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“I am weary of dancing now, she cried;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Here tarry a moment, I’ll hide, I’ll hide;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And, Lovell, be sure thou’rt the first to trace</div> - <div class="verse indent0">The clue to my secret hiding-place.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And you probble remember how the crazed -young bridegroom, and the old Baron, and all the -rest of the weddin’ guests hunted for the pretty, -young creeter all night and all day, and for weeks -and months and years—all in vain, in vain.</p> - -<p>Till at last, when Lovell (poor, broken-hearted -creeter!) wuz a old white-headed man, a old chest -wuz found in the castle, and they see, on liftin’ up -the led—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_271">[Pg 271]</span></p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“A skeleton form lay mouldering there</div> - <div class="verse indent0">In the bridal robes of the lady fair.</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Oh, sad was her fate! In sportive jest</div> - <div class="verse indent0">She hid from her lord in the old oak chest;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">It closed with a spring, and her bridal bloom</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Lay withering there in a living tomb.</div> - <div class="verse indent4">Oh, the mistletoe bough!</div> - <div class="verse indent4">Oh, the mistletoe bough!”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>But I don’t have any idee that it wuz the mistletoe -that caused the trouble. I spoze that it would -have been jest the same if it had been red cedar -hung up there, or dog-wood.</p> - -<p>It wuz more likely a lack of common sense and -lookin’ ahead. Genevra ort to tried the lock and -see how tight the led shet down, and had a little -forethought afore she got into it.</p> - -<p>But poor, young creeter! I don’t spoze she -thought of anything, only jest her light-hearted happiness -and gayety, and wuz carried away by the -thought of foolin’ Lovell a little and havin’ a good -time.</p> - -<p>Poor, pretty young thing, how she must have felt -when the realizin’ sense come to her that she wuz -trapped in a death-trap, and should never see the -light of day agin, and, what wuz worse, should never -see the light of love a-shinin’ in her Lovell’s eyes!</p> - -<p>Oh, dear me! I wiped my eyes as this heart-searchin’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_272">[Pg 272]</span> -thought come to me—what if it had been -my Tirzah Ann. And I couldn’t help thinkin’ that -it would be jest like Tirzah to be ketched in that way. -Maggie, my son’s wife, would have looked at the -ketch before she let the led down, and she’d never -wrinkled up a long white dress in that contracted place.</p> - -<p>But I am indeed a-eppisodin’ and to resoom.</p> - -<p>The entrance hall and the rooms leadin’ out of it -are jest as Mr. Scott left ’em, and that made me -feel curous as a dog to look round me, and I -meditated and eppisoded to extreme lengths, to -myself mostly.</p> - -<p>The library is a large and handsome room, lined -with books, twenty thousand in all. And underneath -its deep, big winders runs the river Tweed.</p> - -<p>How many times, when he got tired of writin’ -down his rushin’ thoughts, did Walter stand and -lean up aginst the winder, and look down into the -rushin’ river!</p> - -<p>I leaned up aginst the side of the winder where -he had leaned, and on lookin’ down, I see that the -river wuz still a-flowin’ along jest the same. But -the eager, active mind wuz—where?</p> - -<p>The dead water, with no soul, rushed and flowed -on; the rocks couldn’t stop it—no, it made a leap -downward and flowed on more free and placider.</p> - -<p>And I sez to myself—“Death’s rocky portals is<span class="pagenum" id="Page_273">[Pg 273]</span> -jest the same; after the leap down into the oncertainty—the -darkness, it goes on in the Certainty -and the Light, fuller and freer than ever.”</p> - -<p>I didn’t say anything of these thoughts to my -pardner. He wuz a-lookin’ round at one thing and -another, and not havin’ the deep feelin’s that I had, -as I could see.</p> - -<p>But Al Faizi wuz a-lookin’ down into the water -or at the beautiful landscape from another winder. -And I’ll bet if I’d atted him about it his idees would -have been congenial to mine and inspirin’. I jedged -so from the looks of his liniment.</p> - -<p>But I knew he didn’t care about talkin’ much, so -I restrained my tongue.</p> - -<p>The rest on ’em wuz a-prowlin’ round and -a-lookin’ at relicks—priceless ones, some on ’em—and -I methought to myself volumes as I looked on ’em.</p> - -<p>The clock of Marie Antoinette wuz there—what -hours, what hours that clock ticked off for Marie!</p> - -<p>And then there wuz the inkstand of Lord Byron—and -what black, gloomy ink and sometimes -kinder nasty, that poor creeter dipped his pen in a -good deal of the time—but lofty and riz up, too, at -times, very.</p> - -<p>And then there wuz two gold bees took from -Napoleon’s carriage—what bees buzzed and hummed -in his ambitious brain as the carriage whirled him -on! Then there wuz a crucifix that belonged to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_274">[Pg 274]</span> -Mary, Queen of Scots; most probble held clost -to her poor, frightened heart as the pretty creeter -walked away to have her head cut off.</p> - -<p>A miniature portrait of Prince Charlie, a box -from Miss Edgeworth, a purse made by Joanna -Baillie, a little case from Miss Martineau, a snuff-box -of George IV., and lots, and lots, and lots of -relicks from Egypt and Italy and everywhere else. -But I d’no as I see any from Jonesville. But -oversights will take place, and <i>contrarytemps</i> will -occur.</p> - -<p>Wall, in the armory we see bows, and arrers, and -spears, and muskets, and rifles. A musket that belonged -to Rob Roy, a sword gin by Charles 1st to -the Marquis of Montrose, a pair of pistols that belonged -to the 1st Napoleon, found after the battle -of Waterloo. Poor creeter, how he must have felt! -No wonder he lost ’em! James VI. hunting flask, -the key of old Tolbooth prison. And then we see -thumb-screws, and a gag for scoldin’ wives—I looked -on that with scorn.</p> - -<p>But Josiah jest peered and squinted at it, and -walked all round it, and took out a piece of string -out of his pocket and tried to measure it, and -I sez, “What on earth are you a-doin’?”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “I <span class="pagenum" id="Page_275">[Pg 275]</span>believe I could make one -of ’em after I got home, with a little of Ury’s -help.”</p> - -<p>“What do you want of one, Josiah Allen?” sez I -coldly.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp80" id="i_274" style="max-width: 10em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_274.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">I never should think -of usin’ it.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“Oh, nothin’, nothin’ in the world, only I thought -it would be uneek to own one. I never should -think of usin’ it,” sez he, as I looked still more -stonily at him.</p> - -<p>“I should think not!” sez I, and my axents wuz -about the temperture of five ice suckles.</p> - -<p>But after we’d all turned away and wuz a-lookin’ -at other relicks, I see him furtively apply that string -to it, and mark down the dimensions on’t in his account -book.</p> - -<p>I d’no what under the sun the man wuz a-thinkin’ -on, and I don’t believe he did.</p> - -<p>Wall, we wandered round through the rooms for -a long time, I with memories a-walkin’ tight to my -side—what a host of ’em wuz a-follerin’ me of them -shadow shapes—</p> - -<p>Sweet Ellen Douglas, and Ivanhoe, and Rebecca, -Marmion, Rob Roy, Guy Mannering, Rosamond, -Nigel, the Wild Huntsman, Meg Merrilies, etc., -etc., etc.</p> - -<p>Oh, what a crowd of phantoms, and what different -lookin’ creeters they wuz that wuz a-walkin’ up -and down that room with me, onbeknown to Josiah -and the rest!</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_276">[Pg 276]</span></p> - -<p>And what curous words they wuz a-pourin’ out -into my ears—words that I only could hear—some -on ’em wuz in poetry—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Charge, Chester, charge—</div> - <div class="verse indent0">On, Stanley, on”—</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>or—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Oh, mother, mother, what is bliss,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Oh, mother, what is bale—</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Without my lover, what is Heaven?</div> - <div class="verse indent2">And with him, what were Hell?”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And noble, practical idees, and solemn, historical -ones wuz a-soundin’ in my ears. And figgers of -noble knights and heroes and fair ladies wuz by -my side, up and down the room they walked with -me and in and out.</p> - -<p>Some of the picters on the walls of the different -rooms wuz dretful interestin’—dretful. The one on -’em that gin my heart and mind the deepest shock -wuz the head of poor Mary, Queen of Scots, said -to have been took a few hours after her execution. -The mournful, noble beauty of that white, still face -gin me feelin’s I couldn’t express, and I didn’t -try to.</p> - -<p>It seemed as if the home where her soul had so -lately sojourned had a dignity and peace gin it, -a-flowin’ out from the seens that soul wuz a-beholdin’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_277">[Pg 277]</span> -after it had cast off the tribulations and persecutions -of earth.</p> - -<p>It wuz a dretful interestin’ picter to me.</p> - -<p>Then there wuz Charles XII. of Sweden, Charles -II. and Cromwell, and lots of picters by Turner -and other great artists.</p> - -<p>The house from top to bottom wuz full to over-flowin’ -with objects of interest. I could have stayed -there for days and not seen half, but Time and -Martin wuz a-hastenin’.</p> - -<p>And we went from there to Dryburgh Abbey, to -see the spot where Scott wuz buried.</p> - -<p>We see his tomb and the place where his ancestors -are buried. His son-in-law, Mr. Lockhart, who -wrote Scott’s biography, is buried here.</p> - -<p>In Dryburgh Abbey we see the winder where the -White Maid of Avenal ust to appear.</p> - -<p>But she didn’t appear to us, much as I’d loved to -seen her (right there in broad daylight, with my -pardner with me).</p> - -<p>The Abbey is said to be hanted, mebby by them -who have been imprisoned and tortured in the -dungeons onderneath.</p> - -<p>There are holes in the walls where the hands of -prisoners were held by heavy wedges.</p> - -<p>It don’t seem right to have a meetin’-house<span class="pagenum" id="Page_278">[Pg 278]</span> used -to torture folks in, and so I told Josiah.</p> - -<p>But he said that he didn’t know about it; he -thought once in awhile it would do good to jest -pinch Deacon Garvin’s thumb a little, to make him -do right, or to make Deacon Bobbett come to terms, -when he got too rambunktious to business meetin’s -and wanted his own way.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, “or to make Deacon Josiah Allen -more willin’ to give to charitable objects.”</p> - -<p>His liniment fell.</p> - -<p>“Oh, the Charitable Object has more done for -him than I do, they’re always raisin’ money for -him.”</p> - -<p>That wuz his favorite mode of puttin’ off from -givin’ to charity.</p> - -<p>“And,” sez I, “you see from Loyola and Cromwell -down to Josiah Allen the carnal mind wants -to punish somebody else for doin’ suthin’ different -from what you want ’em to do.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “I wonder if Martin hain’t a-goin’ -back? I believe it’s a-goin’ to rain, and you ort to -have sunthin’ to eat, Samantha. It worries me to -have you see so much on an empty stumick.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, for his thoughtfulness touched me, -“some dinner would taste good.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, in a low, thrillin’ voice—“Samantha,” and -tears wuz almost in his eyes as he spoke, “imagine -I am in the barn door, and the smell of roast<span class="pagenum" id="Page_279">[Pg 279]</span> -chicken, and baked potatoes, and lemon puddin’, -and cream biscuit floats out, a-wroppin’ you all -round, as you are a-standin’ in the back door a-callin’ -me in to dinner. As you stand there a-lookin’ -perfectly beautiful,” sez he.</p> - -<p>Agin my heart wuz touched, and sez I, “And -roses under the winders, and voyalets, and the -blossomin’ trees, and the new-mown grass in the -orchard a-smellin’ sweet as the scent comes in on -the warm south breeze.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he, “and the good, rich coffee, and -cream cheese, and honey, and things.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, “and after dinner we could set -down, and set there as long as we wanted to.”</p> - -<p>“I wouldn’t stir in over three days!” sez he, -“not an inch from my good old rockin’-chair.</p> - -<p>“But,” sez he, with a deep sithe, “them days wuz -too happy to last.”</p> - -<p>“No,” sez I, “Providence permittin’, we will see -agin the cliffs of Jonesville; and home never seemed -so sweet as it will when troubles and toil and -foreign travel is all past, and our two barks are -moored once more in our own peaceful door-yard.”</p> - -<p>“Never to be <i>on</i>moored!” sez he, with a almost -fierce mean. And my own longin’ heart and achin’ -back and tired-out eyeballs gin a deep assent to -his remarks.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_280">[Pg 280]</span></p> - -<p>Sweet, sweet is the fruits of foreign travel, but -lofty and precipitus are the thorny branches it hangs -on, and wearin’ in the extreme is the job of pickin’ -’em offen foreign fields and bringin’ ’em home in -our mind basket.</p> - -<p>And happy are they who carry ’em back fresh -and hull and sound—some folks carry ’em home in -a sort of a jell or a jam—dretful mixed up and promiscus -like.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_281">[Pg 281]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XV">CHAPTER XV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">OLD YORK AND ITS CATHEDRAL.</p> - -<p>Wall, as we got back to Edinburgh it was on the -first edge of the evenin’, and I had the chance of -hearin’ a real Scotch ministrel; not one -of them bagpipes of theirn, which sounds -perfectly awful to me, but which Josiah -wuz dretful took with (of which more -anon), but this man had a violin, or fiddle, -and sung in a sweet, high voice some -of the best ballads of the country.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp31" id="i_281" style="max-width: 10em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_281.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Josiah wuz dretful -took with it.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I shed tears and wept to hear some on -’em.</p> - -<p>“Scots wha hae wi’ Wallace bled.”</p> - -<p>And “Auld Joe Nickleson’s Bonnie -Nannie.”</p> - -<p>My heart sort o’ listened as I hearn the -words. I had hearn our Tirzah Ann sing -’em in the melancholy stillness of a June -evenin’, when through the open winder the -distant sounds of the frogs and the tree-tuds would -come in from the cedar swamp, fur off, and the -moonlight throw all over her and the organ the -long shadders of the mornin’-glories.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_282">[Pg 282]</span></p> -<p>This is one of the verses—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“There is mony a joy in this world below,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">But sweet are the hopes that to sing were uncanny;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">But of all the joys I aer hae known,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">There is nane like the love of my Bonnie Nannie;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Oh my Nannie, my sweet little Nannie,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">My dear little niddlesome, noddlesome Nannie.</div> - <div class="verse indent2">There naer was a flower,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">In garden or bower,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Like auld Joe Nickleson’s bonnie Nannie.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And then he sung “John Anderson, my Jo, -John,” and my mind onconsciously reverted to my -beloved pardner, as he sung words tellin’ how he -looked—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“When they were first acquent.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And then—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“John Anderson, my Jo, John,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">We clamb the hill thegither,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And mony a canty day, John,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">We’ve had wi’ ane anither:</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Now we maun totter down, John,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">But hand in hand we’ll go;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And sleep thegither at the foot,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">John Anderson, my Jo.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>There wuzn’t hardly a dry eye in my head as I heard -it, and I looked round to see how my Josiah wuz -a-takin’ it.</p> - -<p>But right behind<span class="pagenum" id="Page_283">[Pg 283]</span> that sweet singer wuz a man -with a bagpipe, and after the melodious warbler had -moved away he piped up, right under our winder, -that screechin’, awful sound; and Josiah’s attention -wuz all took up with him.</p> - -<p>And there wuz a distant, dreamy look to my -pardner’s eyes as he gazed onto him, of which I did -not git the full meanin’ till bime-by—of which more -anon.</p> - -<p>After we had had our supper and had gone to -our room Adrian come a-runnin’ in and told us that -a company of Scotch soldiers wuz marchin’ through -the place on their way to Sterling.</p> - -<p>So we quickly made our way out onto a balcony, -where we could git a good view of ’em, with their -short kilt skirts, bare legs, plaid stockin’s, and -feathers. If it hadn’t been for their whiskers and -mustaches, you’d most thought they wuz wimmen.</p> - -<p>Sez Alice, “Oh, how picturesque they look! -don’t they?”</p> - -<p>And I sez, “More picturesque than comfortable!” -Sez I, “What clothes them must be to wear -into a battle-field, or to pick rosberrys in! What -would hender thorns and bullets from stickin’ right -into them bare legs?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “They don’t use no reason; we see to-day -that they ust to dress in iron all over, when they -ust to go into battle, but now they go half -naked.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_284">[Pg 284]</span></p> - -<p>Sez I, “Oh, the beauty of megumness! They -wore too much in old times, and now not enough, -which, I’ll bet, their cold legs would testify to, if -they could speak up.”</p> - -<p>As I said of the bagpipes—but more anon.</p> - -<p>It wuz that night, jest as I wuz preparin’ my -body for rest, that Josiah’s dreamy study a-lookin’ -at the bagpipes become manifest. I see my companion -foldin’ up two handkerchiefs kinder queer -and a-measurin’ ’em by his arm, and anon kinder -layin’ his jack-knife between ’em, and actin’.</p> - -<p>And I sez, “What are you a-doin’, Josiah -Allen?”</p> - -<p>“Why,” sez he, “I wuz a-thinkin’ of makin’ a -bagpipe.”</p> - -<p>“Out of two handkerchiefs!” sez I mockin’ly.</p> - -<p>“No; I wuz jest a-layin’ out the work and gittin’ -a view of its nater;” sez he, “I wuz a-layin’ out to -use two bags.”</p> - -<p>“Bags?” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Yes, meal bags,” sez he; “take them bags, and -dip ’em into starch to stiffen ’em, and then paint -and varnish ’em, and there you are as fur as the -wind is concerned; the music,” sez he, “I believe -could be rigged up some way with a mouth-organ -or sunthin’, or mebbe our old accordeun; fix the -bags onto both ends on’t and then draw ’em out,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_285">[Pg 285]</span> -or shet ’em up, with wind accordin’.</p> - -<p>“What a sensation it would create in Jonesville! -How it would stir the people up!” sez he.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp41" id="i_285" style="max-width: 10em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_285.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">What a sensation it would -create in Jonesville!</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“And I might on occasions, on 4th of July and -sech, wear the Tarten costume. I -could take that old plaid overskirt of -yours, Samantha, it’s dressy, you -know—red and green—cut it off a -little above my knees, and my own -red stockin’s would look all right. -And the old rooster would furnish -very stylish feathers—I should look -beautiful! And of course,” sez he, -“I should sing with it.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, “your rumatic old -knees would look beautiful bare naked, -and them bags and accordeun, -and your singin’ would empty Jonesville -as soon as a cyclone would, or a -water-spout.” And, in the name of duty, I said -further, “Your singin’ is like thumb-screws and -gullotines, and with that bagpipe added, it would -cry to Heaven!”</p> - -<p>“There it is! there it is!” sez he! “throw cold -water on it.”</p> - -<p>“Better that,”<span class="pagenum" id="Page_286">[Pg 286]</span> sez I, “than the hot water you -would be deluged with if you should try it in -public. Nobody would stand it, and you’d find it -out they wouldn’t without scaldin’ you.”</p> - -<p>Wall, from Edinburgh Martin said that we would -start for London, and so we took the train goin’ -south and sot off in the early mornin’ and in pretty -good sperits.</p> - -<p>We only made one stop on our way to London, -and that wuz at York—the quaint, old, walled -city, in which Americans take an interest on account -of their own New York bein’ named after it.</p> - -<p>Our New York is some younger—about seventeen -hundred years younger, and that is a good deal -of difference between a Ma and a young child. But, -then, it hain’t common to have the youngster about -twenty times bigger than its Ma.</p> - -<p>Wall, we went to a good tarvern and recooperated -a little durin’ the night from the fatigues of travel, -and the next mornin’ bright and early we sot out -to see the sights of the city, knowin’ that our stay -there wuz to be but short.</p> - -<p>Martin engaged a guide, though he didn’t often -want one, sayin’, as he did, that he felt that he wuz -so familar with history and all those places that a -guide was “an unnecessary outlay and a drug.”</p> - -<p>But bein’ in a hurry to git on to-day, we went first -to see the great wall that has stood for centuries, and -seems able to stand quite a number more of ’em. I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_287">[Pg 287]</span> -got out of the carriage and laid my hand on the -wall, feelin’ that it would be a satisfaction to put my -hand on the stun.</p> - -<p>Josiah said, “That looks foolish, Samantha; you -have never tried once to put your hand on to -the stun wall between our paster and Deacon -Gowdy’s.”</p> - -<p>“But,” sez I, “that wall has never been looked -upon by Adrian and Constantine the Great; it -has never been trod by Britons, Picts, Danes, and -Saxons, each on ’em a-warrin’ for and defendin’ their -native land.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “our wall is a crackin’ good one.” -Josiah looked kinder scorfin’ at me for my enthoosiasm, -but I didn’t mind it any.</p> - -<p>And Martin, seein’ my enthoosiasm, and though he -didn’t share it, not at all, he asked me if I didn’t want -to go up and walk on the great wall—which I did. -So we had the carriage stopped at one of the gates, -and he and I and Alice and Al Faizi went up and -walked on the parapets.</p> - -<p>And I probble had as many as 70 or 80 emotions -as I felt that eight-foot wall under my feet and -looked up at the solid, round watch-towers, with -narrer slits in the stun, for arrers to be shot out of -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_288">[Pg 288]</span>onto the enemies, and way up above ’em the little -turrets for the sentinuls to look out.</p> - -<p>I wonder how that sentinul felt there on cool -moonlight nights twelve or fourteen hundred years -ago—I wonder what century old grief or pain hanted -his lonely heart through the night-watches—Love, -Hope, mebby they lightened his lonely watch jest -as they do in 1900.</p> - -<p>Tenny rate, the same sun and moon looked down -on him, and Love and Hope is as old as they be—as -old as the world.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi, I believe, had a sight of emotions, too. -He stood still and looked off with a dreamy look -on his face.</p> - -<p>Martin thought the stun wuz good and solid, -and might be utilized for buildin’ depots and -grain elevators and sech.</p> - -<p>Alice looked good-natered and didn’t say much.</p> - -<p>Josiah wuz a-makin’ a cat’s cradle with Adrian -when we went back to the buggy. And I told him -I didn’t see how he could be a-playin’ with weltin’ -cord at sech a time as this, when he could see this -wall.</p> - -<p>And he sez, “Dum it all! mebby you wouldn’t -take so to stun walls if you had broke your back, -and got so many stun bruises as I have a-layin’ -’em.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,”<span class="pagenum" id="Page_289">[Pg 289]</span> sez I soothin’ly, “do jest as you feel, Josiah. -But I wouldn’t have missed the sight for a -dollar bill.”</p> - -<p>Yes, it rousted up sights of emotions in me.</p> - -<p>Another thing that endeared York to me: here -in this city wuz Christmas celebrated -for the first time by King Arthur, -fourteen hundred years ago.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp43" id="i_289" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_289.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>That sentinul twelve or -fourteen hundred years ago.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I don’t spoze he ever gin a thought -at that time of what a train of turkeys, -Christmas presents, trees, plum -puddin’s, bells, stockin’s, Santa -Clauses, etc., etc., etc., would foller -on his wake. But it wuz a good -idee, and he wuz quite a likely creeter—buildin’ -up the meetin’-housen the -Saxons had destroyed.</p> - -<p>Wall, we thought we would leave -the Cathedral, or Minster, as they -call it for the last. And anon we -see a almost endless procession of -anteek gate-ways, and housen, museums, churches, -the ruined cloisters of St. Leonard founded by -Athelstane the Saxon, and the ruins of St. Mary’s -Abbey, with its old Norman arch and shattered -walls.</p> - -<p>But from most every part of the city where we -might be we could see the Cathedral towerin’ up -above us, some like a mountain of sculptured <span class="pagenum" id="Page_290">[Pg 290]</span>turrets -and towers. And anon we found ourselves within -its walls, and its magnificent and grand beauty almost -struck us dumb with or.</p> - -<p>The guide said that it wuz the most gorgeous and -beautiful in the world. But I considered it safe to -add a word to his description, which made it <i>one</i> of -the most gorgeous and magnificent cathedrals in -the world—and that I spoze is true.</p> - -<p>It wuz about two hundred years a-buildin’, and I -don’t believe there is a carpenter in Jonesville that -could have done it a day sooner. Seth Widrick is -a swift worker on housen, but I believe Seth would -have been a week or two over that time at the -job.</p> - -<p>The guide said that it wuz 500 and 24 feet long, -and 250 feet broad—24 feet longer than St. Paul’s -Cathedral in London, and 145 feet longer than -Westminster Abbey, and the most magnificent minster -in the world. The greatest beauty of the hull -interior is, I spoze, the immense east winder. Imagine -a great arched winder 75 feet high and 30 feet -broad all aglow and ablaze with the most magnificent -stained-glass. A multitude of saints, angels, -priests, etc., all wrought in glass, the colors of -which are so soft and glowin’, so harmonious, that -they can’t be reproduced in this day by the most -cunnin’ workmen; the secret is lost.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_291">[Pg 291]</span></p> - -<p>This winder is known as The Five Sisters; the -pattern bein’ took, it is said, from embroideries -these maiden wimmen made.</p> - -<p>Josiah said, when the guide mentioned it, “Good -for the old maids! they done well.”</p> - -<p>But as I looked upon that marvellous poem of -glowin’ color, I felt beyend words, but I could still -think. And I thought proudly of the exquisite -work my sect had wrought, and I wuz glad for the -moment that I too wuz a woman; and though seven -hundred years lay between them noble sisters and -myself, yet I felt that our hearts, our souls, touched -each other in that pleasant day of 1895.</p> - -<p>Wall, Passin’ Time and Josiah tore me away -from the contemplation of that glory, that wonder, -that delight—unequalled, I believe, in the hull -world.</p> - -<p>And at Martin’s request, for he said that he should -be asked about it probble, and would wish to be -prepared with answers, we went out on a little stun -platform or bridge outside, from which we had a -view of the hull glowin’ interior—a vista of leafy -gothic arches, and sculptered columns, more’n -five hundred feet in length, and at the end the great -west winder, with the figgers of the eight earliest -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_292">[Pg 292]</span>Archbishops of York, and to keep ’em company, -eight saints and other figgers.</p> - -<p>All seemin’ly a-standin’ in the glowin’ light took -from the most gorgeous western sunset. They wuz -put up about five hundred years ago, and I can’t -begin to describe the beauty and richness of colorin’, -and design, nor Josiah can’t.</p> - -<p>There wuz lots of other winders, too, that would -be remarkable anywhere else. And among ’em wuz -one over the entrance that they called the Marygold -winder, circles of small arches in the form of a -wheel, the color of which makes it look some like -that flower.</p> - -<p>Though, as Josiah well said—“Nobody ever hearn -before of a marygool thirty feet acrost.”</p> - -<p>In the vestries we see some historical relicks. One -of the oldest is the great Saxon Drinkin’ Horn, by -which the church holds valuable estate near -York.</p> - -<p>The old chieftain, Ulphus, knelt at the altar and -drinked out of the horn, and by this act gave to -the church all his land, housen, etc., etc., givin’ to -the fathers this horn as a title-deed.</p> - -<p>Josiah wuz dretful took up with it, and vowed -that he would save the horns from the next beef -creeter he killed and make out his next deed with it.</p> - -<p>“So strong and safe,” sez he; “no ‘whereasis’ and -‘to wits’ and ‘namelys,’ and runnin’ up to a stake, -and back agin, to wit.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_293">[Pg 293]</span></p> - -<p>Sez he, “It would be a boon to git rid of all that -nonsense. That would use up one horn, and then -I might make my will with the other. I could will -you all my property with it, Samantha, and then we -could both drink root-beer, or sunthin’, and you -could jest keep the horn, and there would be no -way to break the will. 2d. Wives have lots of -trouble, but how could anybody break it, Samantha, -when you had the horn locked up in the tin chest?”</p> - -<p>It wuz thoughtful in him, and showed a deep -kindness to me, but I felt dubersome about it.</p> - -<p>Then there wuz another drinkin’ cup presented -by Archbishop Scrope. But it wuz bigger than I -love to see—I am afraid that Mr. Scrope drinked -too much. But as he had his head cut off in 1405, -I couldn’t labor with him about it.</p> - -<p>Then there wuz the chair in which the Saxon -kings wuz crowned. And a old Bible presented -by King Charles II., and one gin by Charles 1st. -A old communion plate 500 years old and oak -chests, etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp51" id="i_294" style="max-width: 10em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_294.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">With the ends of the -fingers a-hangin’ -down.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>When we looked at the communion plate Josiah -nudged me, and sez he, “Don’t that make you think -of she that wuz Sally Ann Plenty?” Sez he, “You -know she bought a old communion service once -because she could git it for a little or nothin’.” Sez -he, “That wuz the same day that she bought a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_294">[Pg 294]</span> -crosscut saw, and a box of gloves 4 sizes too big -for her, and wore ’em with the ends of the fingers -a-hangin’ down, jest as if they wuz onjointed.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Hush! This is no place to bring up sech -worldly and foolish eppisodes.”</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin clim up into the Lantern -Tower, two hundred and thirteen feet -high, for he said that he would wish to -say that he had been there.</p> - -<p>But Al Faizi wuz the most took up with -lookin’ at the monuments in the Cathedral. -They wuz beautiful in the extreme, -and some on ’em wuz saints, some on -’em Archbishops, but the most on ’em -wuz riz up to men who had made themselves -famous by killin’ lots and lots of -folks—some in England, some in Russia, and in -India, and in Burmah, etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>As I stood in front of them bloody records, and -meditated that a common murderer, who had only -killed one or two men, couldn’t never git a statute, -but it wuz those that killed hundreds and thousands -who had ’em built through foreign lands, and my -own native country—as I wuz a-meditatin’ on this -and a-considerin’ on how the more a man killed the -higher his monument wuz riz up, and the nigher he -wuz buried to saints, I see Al Faizi take out<span class="pagenum" id="Page_295">[Pg 295]</span> -that little book with the cross on’t and write -down quite a lot—what it wuz I d’no, but I presoom -it wuz good writin’. His idees are congenial -to mine, very.</p> - -<p>And then another place where I see Al Faizi -a-writin’ down quite a lot in that book of hisen wuz -at Clifford’s Tower, in the castle enclosure, where -two hundred Jews were masicreed in 1490. From -what the guide said, I made out as follows: When -the Crusaders got back from fightin’ the Infidels -they wuz kinder mad to see that the Jews wuz better -off than they wuz—had better clothes, more -money, etc.—so they begun to kill ’em off.</p> - -<p>There wuz so many fightin’ Christians the Jews -couldn’t defend themselves, so they come to the -castle with their wives and children. And all the -soldiers in York come to help the Crusaders kill the -Jews. And when the poor Jews found that they -couldn’t stand it any longer, they did jest as the -Rabbi told ’em.</p> - -<p>They killed the wives and children that wuz left, -to keep ’em from fallin’ into the hands of their -persecutors, and sot fire to the castle, and then -killed themselves, so’s they shouldn’t burn to death.</p> - -<p>This massicre of these onoffending Jews by -Christians wuz one of the most barbarous acts that -ever took place on earth. Lots of folks now<span class="pagenum" id="Page_296">[Pg 296]</span> have -their souls massicreed in the same way—out of envy -and jealousy.</p> - -<p>I d’no what Al Faizi writ in his book as he -looked at this place where this dretful deed wuz -done in the name of Religion. But his face wuz a -sight to see as he writ—solemn and awful; not -mad, but sunthin’ of the expression of the Avengin’ -Angel, or as I mistrust he would look—dretful -sorry, but sot, awful sot.</p> - -<p>Wall, we went back to the tarvern and got a -good dinner, and I laid down for a nap—I wuz clean -used up.</p> - -<p>When I waked up it wuz sunset, and Josiah sot -by the little casement with the panes of glass about -four inches big, a-readin’.</p> - -<p>And I asked him if Martin laid out to go to -London in the mornin’, and he said that he guessed -he did. “But,” sez he with a tone of regret—</p> - -<p>“I did want to visit Scarborough; there’s no -need hurryin’ so to London,” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Who and what is Scarborough?” sez I in a -weary axent as I got up and wadded up my back -hair.</p> - -<p>“Why, it is the fashionable waterin’-place of -England,” sez he; “it is only a little more than -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_297">[Pg 297]</span>forty milds away,” sez he; “we could go jest as -well as not, and it would be so genteel. I would,” -sez he, a-smoothin’ out the folds of his dressin’-gown, -and bringin’ the tossels forred in a more sightly -place—“I would love to mingle in fashionable -circles once more, Samantha.”</p> - -<p>I looked down at his old bald head in silent disaprobation. -He wuz too old to hanker after fashion -and display, and too bald, and I knew it.</p> - -<p>But I knew that I could not make him over, -after he had been made so long—no, I should have -to bear up the best I could under his shortcomin’s.</p> - -<p>But I sez mekanically, and to git his idees off—“I -would kinder love to visit Whitby, Josiah; that -hain’t much further away, and that is where all the -most beautiful jet is made. I thought like as not -that you would want to buy me a handkerchief pin, -Josiah Allen.”</p> - -<p>He looked injured, and sez he, “Where is the -black pin you mourned in for Father Smith?” His -tone wuz sour and snappish in the extreme.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “That pin wuz broke over twenty years -ago.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “I can glue it together with -Ury’s help, or we could tie it up, so’s it would be -jest as good as a new one. It don’t come to any -strain on your collar,” sez he anxiously.</p> - -<p>“No, Josiah; but I shouldn’t like to wear<span class="pagenum" id="Page_298">[Pg 298]</span> a pin -that you and Ury had contoggled up. But let it -pass,” sez I; “I can do without it, if my companion -don’t think enough of me right here in the -headquarters of black breastpins and beads to buy -me anything.”</p> - -<p>My tone touched him. He sez—“I’d look -round and see about it, but I hain’t no time, for -we’ve got to be a-pushin’ right on to London; if -we ever lay out to git home agin we’ve got to be -on the move.”</p> - -<p>I didn’t say nothin’ only what my liniment spoke, -and anon he sez—</p> - -<p>“If worst come to worst, Ury and I could make -you a crackin’ good one out of coal. All of this -jet in Whitby is made out of coal. And how much -less it would cost—we could make you a hull set -in one evenin’—earrings and all.”</p> - -<p>I gin him one look, and that wuz all the argument -that I would dane to waste on the subject.</p> - -<p>Alice kinder wanted to go to Robin Hood Bay, -which wuz not far from Scarborough. She said -that she would love to see the place where the hero -of Sherwood Forest had lived once—the bold outlaw -who took from the rich with one hand and -gave to the poor with the other.</p> - -<p>But her Pa laughed at her for believin’ that -there ever wuz sech a man, or if there wuz, he wuz -nothin’ but a common robber, who deserved<span class="pagenum" id="Page_299">[Pg 299]</span> -hangin’.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp48" id="i_299" style="max-width: 10em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_299.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Robin Hood.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I believe Martin would favor drivin’ -Santa Claus out of the country and -killin’ his reindeers. His imagination -hain’t, I really believe, not much bigger -than a pea—not a marrowfat one, but a -common field pea.</p> - -<p>So Martin decided at first that we -would go direct to London, but finally -he concluded to go a little out of our -way to visit the estate of the Duke of -Devonshire—the grandest home in England. -And he wanted to stop a little -while at Sheffield on business—property -matters, I spoze, or mebby he wanted to buy a -jack-knife—I d’no what his business wuz.</p> - -<p>I knew he could git a good jack-knife here, for -they’ve been makin’ knives and sech right here for -five or six hundred years.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_300">[Pg 300]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XVI">CHAPTER XVI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">EDENSOR AND THE DUKE OF DEVONSHIRE.</p> - -<p>So anon we found ourselves in the smoky, grimy, -dirty city. A heavy black cloud seemed to hang -overhead, seemin’ to shade the hull spot; but then -I didn’t want to lay it up agin ’em, for I knew we -had our own cities, that had to set down under a -cloud of smoke jest as they did—Pittsburg, and -others, etcetery.</p> - -<p>I can’t say that I took sech a sight of comfort -here in Sheffield, but Josiah and Martin seemed to -enjoy themselves a-goin’ round and seein’ all they -could.</p> - -<p>Martin said it wuz a sight to see how perfectly -each workman did his work, and how faithful they -wuz to their employers; he said he wished he had -sech men to work for him.</p> - -<p>And it wuz curous to think on. As nigh as I -could make out, generations of one family would -work on and on, a-workin’ at one part of a jack-knife, -for instance, a-keepin’ right on—a grandpa, -and his son, and his son’s son, and etcetery—all -contented and industrious and awful handy, as they -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_301">[Pg 301]</span>would naterally be, a-workin’ on at one thing year -after year, year after year; mebby a-makin’ a rivet -to put into a handle of a knife.</p> - -<p>It stands to reason that they would learn to do it -well after workin’ at the same thing over and over -for hundreds of years. And these workmen seemed -to be sot on doin’ jest the best -work that they could, and stay right -on in the same place.</p> - -<p>“And,” sez Josiah, “I wonder if -Ury’s boy and grandson and great-grandson -will be willin’ to keep -right on workin’ for me?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Do you expect to outlive -Ury’s grandson, Josiah Allen?”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “They did in Bible -times.” Sez he, “I wouldn’t be -nigh so old then as Methusler,” and -he went on—“I use my help as -good agin as they do here. If I -should put Ury to work in sech a dark, dirty, onhandy -place as these workmen have, he’d kick in -a minute and leave me; but here they work, generations -of ’em, all in one place.”</p> - -<div class="figright illowp59" id="i_301" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_301.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">It don’t pay to tussel with ’em.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Sez I feelin’ly, “I wish I could git sech a generation -of hired girls; but no sooner duz an American -housekeeper git a hired girl broke in, so she can -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_302">[Pg 302]</span>bile a potato decent, or make a batch of bread, -than off she trapes somewhere else to better herself. -It don’t pay to tussel with ’em,” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez Josiah, “you ort to go into some of -these factories; it is a sight to see how perfect -everything is done. One part of a knife, for instance, -done in one house, and then another house -doin’ another part, and then another another, and -every part done jest as well as it can possibly be.”</p> - -<p>And then Josiah went on about that wonderful -knife they make here, with a new blade added for -every year.</p> - -<p>And bein’ we wuz alone, and I hadn’t nothin’ -else on my mind, I moralized some, and sez I—</p> - -<p>“Old Fate is makin’ her knife pretty stiddy, and -seems to add a new blade every year for us to cut -our feelin’s on, and jab ourselves with.”</p> - -<p>And sez I, “They don’t hurt any the less because -we dig the metal ourselves and shape the sharp -blades with our ignorant hands, not knowin’ what -we’re a-workin’ on, and some on ’em,” sez I, -“handed down from foolish, ignorant workmen who -have gone before—queer!” sez I, “passin’ queer!”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez Josiah, “it wuz quite a sight; Martin -and I enjoyed it.</p> - -<p>“But the drinkin’ here in Sheffield,” sez Josiah, -“is sunthin’ dretful to witness.” Sez he, “I -thought we had drinkin’ habits in America, but I -never see nothin’, nor I don’t believe anybody<span class="pagenum" id="Page_303">[Pg 303]</span> -else did, to compare with some of the places we -visited to-day. Why,” sez he, “it would do a -W. C. T. U. good to jest look at ’em.”</p> - -<p>“Good?” sez I sternly.</p> - -<p>“Wall, yes,” sez he; “it would set ’em to kinder -soarin’ and wavin’ them banners of theirn and talkin’—you -know jest how they love to talk,” sez he.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “You better stop right where you are.” -Sez I, “Do you realize that you are talkin’ about -your pardner?”</p> - -<p>“Wall, yes,” sez he; “that’s what I wuz kinder -figgerin’ on—Heaven knows you love to talk, you -can’t dispute that.”</p> - -<p>I wouldn’t dane to argy with him.</p> - -<p>But, indeed, it wuz a sight to walk through some -of the low, dingy, filthy streets, with saloons on -every side flauntin’ their brazen signs, and men and -wimmen with bloated, sodden faces, that strong -drink had almost changed into the faces of animals.</p> - -<p>The same sin—the same useless, needless sin, -parent of <i>all</i> other vices—jest as bad on this side of -the Atlantic as in Jonesville and America, and -worse.</p> - -<p>I left it there a-performin’ and cuttin’ up, and I -found it here actin’ jest the same. You’d think -after crossin’ the Atlantic it would git sobered up<span class="pagenum" id="Page_304">[Pg 304]</span> a -little—seein’ so much water and everything.</p> - -<p>But it hadn’t. It wuz jest the same reelin’, disgraceful, -foolish, leerin’, bloated Shame—</p> - -<p>Jest as bad in Sheffield as it wuz in Jonesville -and Chicago, and worse.</p> - -<p>It wuz enough to melt a stun with pity, and -make hard eyes weep with sorrer and flash with a -righteous indignation, at the Nations that don’t -devise some means of wipin’ out this gigantic -cause of wickedness, woe, and want.</p> - -<p>They can connect worlds together with chains of -lightnin’, they can make roads through the earth -and on top of it, and in all ways; then why can’t -they keep a man from drinkin’ a tumbler full of -whiskey? They could if they wanted to, and all -put in together.</p> - -<p>Wall, wuzn’t it a change to leave this smoky, -grimy city and find ourselves in the open, beautiful -English country, and in the most beautiful -part of it, too?</p> - -<p>We went by railroad to Matlock Bath, and from -there went in a carriage to the little village of -Edensor, the loveliest little village I ever sot eyes -on. Its housen are all built in some quaint, beautiful -style of architecture, and it looks like a -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_305">[Pg 305]</span> -picter, and a great deal handsomer than lots of -picters I’ve seen—chromos and sech.</p> - -<p>This village belongs to the Duke of Devonshire, -and is on his estate, which is the finest in England, -and I guess on this hull earth.</p> - -<p>And I d’no whether they’ve got any on any other -planet that goes ahead on’t. Mebby Jupiter has, -but I don’t really believe it.</p> - -<p>Why, jest its pleasure park—the door-yard, as -you may say—has two thousand acres in it.</p> - -<p>This estate, known as Chatsworth, is twelve -milds from Edensor, and nobody could describe the -beauty of the landscape all about us as we passed -onwards.</p> - -<p>As we went acrost a corner of this immense -door-yard, through the most beautiful pieces of -woodland, and the verdant slopes covered with -velvety sward, great, beautiful pheasants and herds -of deer would look round at us and then walk off, -not a mite afraid, fearless as they will be if they’re -used well. Anon we would ketch a glimpse of -some enchantin’ vista, with herds of contented -cattle, makin’ picters of themselves aginst the background -of green grass and noble trees centuries old.</p> - -<p>From a little hill top we could see twelve milds -in every direction, and not a foot of land that this -man didn’t own.</p> - -<p>Twelve milds! the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_306">[Pg 306]</span> idee! It seems more’n he -ort to have on his mind.</p> - -<p>Anon we reached a beautiful stun bridge, designed -by Michael Angelo, and crossin’ the little -river, went up to the great iron and gilt entrance -gates.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp58" id="i_307" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_307.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Martin sent his card in.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Martin sent his card in to somebody that takes -care of the premises, I guess (and how he dast to -ask any favors of this gorgeous-dressed creeter in -knee-breeches, I d’no, but he did, bold as brass), -and word come back that we could look over -the place, and one of the hired men wuz sent -to go with us and show us round. It wuz well -he come; we should have got lost, sure as the -world. But lost in sech a place—sech a place! -Why, I’d read the Arabian Nights quite a good -deal, and a considerable number of fairy stories -about enchanted castles, and sech. But never did -I ever hear, in a book, or out on’t, of sech magnificence -as I see here.</p> - -<p>First we went through a great courtyard into -the splendid entrance hall, seventy feet long if it -wuz a inch; the wall and ceilin’s ornamented with -frescoes, all representin’ the life and death of -Cæsar. We went up a majestic staircase, with all -the richly ornamented columns and statutes it needed -for its comfort, and more, too, it seemed, though -they wuz beautiful beyend tellin’; and here we -went into the State Apartments of the house.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_307">[Pg 307]</span></p> - -<p>I spoze they are called State Apartments because -in every room there’s -enough of beauty and -grandeur to supply a -hull State, if it wuz -scattered even, and I -don’t mean Rhode -Island either, but New -York and Maine and -sech sizable ones.</p> - -<p>Why, every one of -these lofty ceilin’s is -painted with picters -handsome enough for -the very handsomest -handkerchief pin, if they -wuz the right size. The -hired man told us what -some of the picters -represented—Aurora (and, oh, how beautiful Aurora -wuz!), and one wuz the “Judgment of -Paris.”</p> - -<p>I hadn’t no idee before that Paris jedgment wuz -so perfectly beautiful; I spozed it wuz kinder triflin’. -They seemed, as fur as I could make out, to be -a-samplin’ apples—lovely creeters they wuz that wuz -standin’ round.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_308">[Pg 308]</span></p> - -<p>And then there wuz “Phaeton in the Chariot of -the Sun.”</p> - -<p>It didn’t look a mite like our phaeton—fur more -magnificent.</p> - -<p>Room after room opened into each other, all different -as stars differ from each other, but every one -full of glory; all full of the treasures of every land—Persia, -Egypt, and every other.</p> - -<p>The hired man drawed our attention to the presents -of kings and princes, and all the rare objects of -art and virtue.</p> - -<p>But I sez, “As fur as virtues is concerned, I d’no -as kings would be any more apt to git hold of ’em -than common men, or so apt, but,” sez I, “call ’em -perfectly beautiful, and I agree with you.”</p> - -<p>In them magnificent and immense rooms are picters -by Landseer, Holbein, Salvator Rosa, Raphael, -Rubens, Claude Lorraine, Correggio, Hogarth, -Titian, Michael Angelo, etc. A great many with -the autographs of the painters—priceless, absolutely -beyend price, are these works of art.</p> - -<p>And if I should talk a week, I couldn’t describe all -the beautiful objects we see there, so valuable that -one on ’em would make a man rich.</p> - -<p>In one room wuz a clock of gold and malachite—a -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_309">[Pg 309]</span>present from the Emperor Nicholas, worth a -thousand guineas, and a broad, shinin’ table of one -clear sheet of transclucent spar, and a great table of -clear malachite. I’d be glad to git enough of it for -an earring for Tirzah Ann.</p> - -<p>In one room we see a picter by Holbein of -Henry VIII., and a rosary belongin’ to him. I -wondered as I looked on’t what that poor, misguided -creeter ust to pray about as he handled them -beads. He couldn’t want any more wives than he -had, it seemed to me. Mebby he wuz a-wishin’ -some of the time that he wuz back with Katharine, -that noble creeter who said—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Weep, thou, for me in France, I for thee here;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Go count thy way with sighs, I mine with groans.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And when they had that lawsuit of theirn (he gittin’ -after another woman, and wantin’ to git rid of her), -after he’d bought off the jedge, Katharine sez to -Henry—liftin’ her right arm up towards Heaven—</p> - -<p>“<i>There</i> sits a Jedge no king can corrupt.”</p> - -<p>Noble, misused creeter! I’ll bet if them beads -could have told what wuz said over ’em, they would -have said that Henry thought of her, his lawful wife, -when his memory wuz sick of recallin’ Anne -Boleyn, Anne of Cleves, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc. -But to resoom.</p> - -<p>We see the bed<span class="pagenum" id="Page_310">[Pg 310]</span> that George II. died in. The chairs -and footstools used by George III. and his queen. -And the two chairs used by William IV. and Queen -Adelaide at their coronation. And then we see the -most beautiful tapestry that ever wuz made, and -busts and statutes. Richly colored, priceless old -china filled the splendid cabinets inlaid with finest -mosaic work—in fact, the hull length of these rooms, -openin’ into each other so that you could see their -hull length of 550 feet, wuz full of the most costly -and beautiful objects man ever made.</p> - -<p>The oak floor wuz polished, and shone like a -mirror.</p> - -<p>The library wuz one hundred feet long of itself, -with columns risin’ from floor to ceilin’ and a gallery -runnin’ round it, and two more openin’ out of it, -with alcoves of Spanish mahogany, these full of -picters by Landseer and others, and medallions, etc., -etc., etc., and full of the choicest literature of -every land.</p> - -<p>And then there wuz a private chapel that went -ahead of any meetin’-house I ever see or ever expect -to, all marble and spar and wonderful wood-carvin’s, -and picters from the old masters filled it full of beauty -and glory. Faith and Hope wuz there all carved -out beautiful, so’s you could see ’em right before -you, as well as feel ’em in your heart.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_311">[Pg 311]</span></p> -<p>In the sculpter gallery is the most wonderful -treasures, busts and statutes and mosaics, relicks -from every land and age, and beautiful figgers, almost -alive, by Canova, Powers, Thorwaldsen, Gibson, -Bartolini, etc., etc. Some wuz presented by -emperors and kings, and some on ’em bought by -the Duke and his folks. The hull room, one hundred -feet long, is full of the rarest treasures that -can be collected; it made my brain fairly reel beneath -my best bunnet to see the wealth of glory -and beauty, and Al Faizi turned away from it a -spell and looked thoughtfully out of the winder.</p> - -<p>But I see that here, too, wuz a picter that no -artist could reproduce, and so it wuz in every winder -that you could look out of. A green, velvety -lawn a hundred feet wide and over five hundred long, -bordered by most beautiful colored flowers, and out -of another winder you could see the velvety slopes, -with walks and river and bridge, and way off the -noble trees and terraces, one risin’ above another, -all full of beautiful plants and shrubs. And in the -centre from the top down, hundreds of feet, wuz a -great flight of stun steps, thirty feet wide, down -which flows and sparkles a sheet of water, reflectin’ -in its mirror-like surface all the white statutes on its -margin, till it reaches the edge of the broad gravel -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_312">[Pg 312]</span>walk, when it disapears right down into the earth and -flows off in some curous, underground way to the -river.</p> - -<p>Josiah wuz all rousted up when he see this, and, -as is the way of my dear, ardent-souled companion, -he tore a page out of his account-book, and begun -to make calculations on’t.</p> - -<p>And I sez with a sithe—“What are you a-figgerin’ -on now, Josiah Allen?”</p> - -<p>“Oh! I’m plottin’ out a lovely addition to the -beauty of our home, Samantha—I’m a-plannin’ -sunthin’ so uneek and fascinatin’ that it will make -the Jonesvillians open their eyes in astonishment -and or.”</p> - -<p>“What is it?” sez I.</p> - -<p>“I’m a-plannin’ on how we can have a waterfall -on our back doorsteps.” Sez he, “I hain’t seen -anything so perfectly beautiful and strikin’ as this -sence I come to the Old Country, and we can have -one jest as well as not. You know our back steps -are quite high, and how beautiful they would look -with the sparklin’ water flowin’ down ’em—how refreshin’ -it would be in hot weather to have a waterfall -right on your own doorsteps, and set in the -open back door, right on its banks, as it were, and -hear the murmur of the water, and see it a-glidin’ -down towards the smoke-house. We might have it -dissapear,” sez he, “between the smoke-house and -the ash-barrel.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_314">[Pg 314]</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_313" style="max-width: 35em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_313.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Josiah’s home-made waterfall.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“Where would you git your water?” sez I -coldly.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, a-holdin’ up the paper with quite -a lot of figgers and marks on it, “I figgered it out -that we might have a pipe go from the kitchen -pump, cut a little hole in the thrasholt to let it go -in, and there you would be.”</p> - -<p>“And did you lay out,” sez I in frigid axents, -“to have me stan’ there a-pumpin’ all day to supply -your waterfall?”</p> - -<p>His mean begun to fall a little—it had been triumphant—and -he sez kinder meachin’—“You -have to throw out your dish-water anyway, and you -might’s well throw it on the steps as to throw it in -the dreen.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “a fountain a-runnin’ dish-water -would be a beautiful spectacle, wouldn’t it, Josiah -Allen?</p> - -<p>“I guess it would astonish the eyes of the Jonesvillians, -and their noses, too!”</p> - -<p>“I didn’t mean that!” he hollered quite loud.</p> - -<p>“What did you mean, then?” sez I.</p> - -<p>He agin murmured sunthin’ about the pump, -the cistern, and the old mair.</p> - -<p>And I sez, “That poor old mair agin!” Sez I, -“If I hadn’t broke it up, that mair wouldn’t live -three days after we got home, with all you’d<span class="pagenum" id="Page_315">[Pg 315]</span> put on -her, a-apein’ foreign idees, Josiah.”</p> - -<p>“I hain’t been a-apein’, and you know it!”</p> - -<p>But I went right on—“Even if you could make -it work, how could we git into the house if the -doorstep wuz turned into a waterfall?”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, a-lookin’ up kinder cross, “I’ve -hearn lots of times of havin’ the bottom sash of a -winder hung on hinges, and goin’ in and out by -’em.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “after you’d clumb up through -the buttery winder onct or twict with a pail of -milk in both hands, I guess you’d git sick of doorstep -waterfalls!”</p> - -<p>He see by the light of my calm, practical reasonin’ -that his idee wuz visionary and couldn’t be -carried out, but he wouldn’t own up to it—not he.</p> - -<p>He jest jammed the paper down into his vest -pocket, and snapped me up real sharp the next -words I said to him.</p> - -<p>He acted awful growety; but I didn’t care, I -knew I wuz in the right on’t.</p> - -<p>Wall, after goin’ through the brightest and most -lovely garden you can imagine, you come into a -place with huge rocks and cliffs, romantic shrubbery, -massive ledges, and a waterfall fallin’ into a -deep, dark basin, caverns, etc., and as you go -round a corner, you come face to face with a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_316">[Pg 316]</span> -huge rock that you think must have fell there. -You think you will have to go back; but no! Do -you think you will have to turn back for anything -in this enchanted place? The hired man touches -the rock, and it turns right away and lets you -pass, and then you see that not only is the enchantin’ -beauty of the place made, but the rough -wildness of this spot.</p> - -<p>One of the curous things in this place wuz a -tree with kinder queer-lookin’ branches, and the -hired man touched it somewhere, and water flowed -out of every leaf and twig, turnin’ it into a fountain.</p> - -<p>The conservatory is from one end to the other -two hundred and seventy-six feet long, and broad -enough to drive through it with a carriage and -four horses, so you can imagine the wealth of -beauty in it—orange-trees full of their glossy fruit, -lemon-trees, feathery palm-trees fifty feet high, -bamboos, cactuses, bananas, queer, broad, velvety -leaves of every shape and color, and all of the -flowers that ever wuz hearn on, and never wuz -hearn on, it seems to me.</p> - -<p>There are thirty other greenhousen, all runnin’ -over with beauty of various kinds. Graperies -seven hundred feet long, with the rich white and -purple clusters hangin’ down in every direction.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_317">[Pg 317]</span> -Peach housen, strawberry housen, apricot, mushroom, -vegetable housen, in which every kind of vegetable -is raised. Why, the kitchen-garden and greenhousen -covers twenty acres. But there is no use -of talkin’ any more—like Niagara, and the World’s -Fair, you have got to see it to understand its vastness -and its perfect beauty.</p> - -<p>I wuz glad I’d seen it. I believe that even Martin -wuz kinder took down off from the Mount -of Self Esteem he always sets on, as he wandered -through it.</p> - -<p>He’d always prided himself quite a good deal of -his home in the city, and it is palatial and grand. -But what comparison would it bear to this? Not -even—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Like moonshine unto sunshine,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Or like water unto wine.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>No; it wuz like a small kerosene lamp unto sunshine. -And he felt it, Martin did. He didn’t -patronize anybody for as much as three quarters of -an hour after he left there. He give the hired man -a good-sized piece of money, for I see him. It wuz -so big that the man turned fairly pale, and called -Martin “Your Highness.” He sez—</p> - -<p>“When will Your Highness return again?”</p> - -<p>So we come off with flyin’ colors, after<span class="pagenum" id="Page_318">[Pg 318]</span> all.</p> - -<p>Wall, seein’ that we wuz so near, Martin thought -we’d ride over to Haddon Hall, only a few milds -away. This is one of the fine old buildin’s of the -Middle Ages. It stands on a rocky eminence above -the River Wye; over the great arched entrance is -the arms of the Vernon family, who occupied it for -three hundred and fifty years.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp73" id="i_319" style="max-width: 10em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_319.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Her common-sense shoe.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>As we passed in through a little door, cut in one -of the broad sides of the gates, we see, on the rough -stun thrasholt, the impression of a human foot, -wore there by the innumerable feet of warriors, pilgrims, -ladies, troubadors, children, kings, and queens, -for all I know. Anyhow, she who wuz once Smith -put her own common-sense shoe right into the -worn footprint, and stood there, kinder on one foot, -and had more’n eighty-seven emotions as she did so, -and I d’no but eighty-nine or ninety.</p> - -<p>I had a sight, anyway, as we went into the stun -courtyard, ornamented with stun carvin’, into the -interior.</p> - -<p>Josiah didn’t take to it at all.</p> - -<p>But, then, as I told him, what could you expect -of a house where the folks had been away for several -hundred years—any place would look kinder -dreary.</p> - -<p>But he sez, “Dum it all! when it wuz new, who’d -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_319">[Pg 319]</span> -like to have sech rough stun floors? And look at -that fireplace in the kitchen, big enough to roast a -hull ox. How could a man cut wood enough to -keep that fire a-goin’?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “The man of the house didn’t have to do -it at all, his vassals did it, Josiah.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, he had to tend to it, and I’d ruther do -the work any time than to keep a vassal a-goin’, -that is, any vassal that I ever hired by the month, -or day.”</p> - -<p>But in the great banquettin’ hall, with its oak -rafters and long table, where they feasted, at one -end a little higher—for the quality, I spoze—he -ketched sight of the minstrels’ gallery at one end. -And sez he, his face lightin’ up, “The man of the -house could git up there and sing while the rest -wuz eatin’, if he wanted to, and nothin’ said -about it.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I pintedly, “if he <i>could</i> sing; but,” -sez I, wantin’ to git his mind offen this unpleasant -theme, sez I—</p> - -<p>“I’d love dearly to see this table set out as it ust -to be, and the noble and beautiful a-settin’ round it, -with boars’ heads on the table, and great -sides of beef, and gilded peacocks.”</p> - -<p>“And jugs of ale and wine,” sez -Josiah.</p> - -<p>But I waved<span class="pagenum" id="Page_320">[Pg 320]</span> off that idee, but couldn’t wave it -fur, for the beer cellars wuz a sight to behold. -They must have been drunk a good deal of the time, -jedgin’ from the accommodations for drinkin’.</p> - -<p>Up the massive stun stairway we went into -another big room, used as a dinin’-room by the later -occupants of the Hall.</p> - -<p>Here over the fireplace are the royal arms, and -under them, in old English letters, the motto—</p> - -<p>“Drede God, and honor the king.”</p> - -<p>Goin’ up six heavey, oak, semicircular steps, we -go into the ball-room, over a hundred feet long, with -great bay-winders, out of which you see picters -more beautiful than any that could be painted by -the hand of man—perfect landscape of quiet -country, silvery stream, rustic bridges, grand old -parks, and the spire of the church from the distant -village pintin’ up to the blue sky.</p> - -<p>Then through other rooms with Gobelin tapestry -on the walls, still holdin’ skripteral stories in its -ancient folds.</p> - -<p>Then through other rooms that are modern compared -with the others, and have been used in the -present century. Here, agin, in one of ’em we see -Gobelin tapestry drapin’ the State bed.</p> - -<p>Follerin’ the guide through a anty-room we come -out into the garden on Dorothy Vernon’s Walk.</p> - -<p>Under the tapestry is concealed doors and passages,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_321">[Pg 321]</span> -as the guide showed us by pushin’ the folds -aside, through which many a man or woman, drove -by Fear or Love, or some other creeter, had rushed -for refuge or secret meetin’.</p> - -<p>The garden of Haddon Hall is picturesque and -beautiful in the extreme.</p> - -<p>Dorothy’s Walk, shaded by noble old trees, leads -to the massive flights of marble steps, down which -she hurried with beatin’ heart and flyin’ steps to -meet her lover, Sir John Manners, while her friends -were merry-makin’ in another part of the Hall, and -never dreamed of her flight.</p> - -<p>Haddon Hall by this means passed into the -family of Rutland, who lived here till the first of -this century. The Duke of Rutland keeps the -place in its ancient form, much to the delight of -those who love the old ways.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_322">[Pg 322]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XVII">CHAPTER XVII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">JOSIAH HAS AN ADVENTURE.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin, who sometimes changes his -mind, but don’t think he duz, always a-sayin’ that -it shows weak-mindedness and is a trait belongin’ -to wimmen (which I never -feel like disputin’, knowin’ -that my sect has in time past -been known to be whifflin’; -but so have men, too)—so it -didn’t surprise me much when -he said that instead of proceedin’ -directly to the Lake District -from here he thought we -would go first to the home of Shakespeare. Sez -he:</p> - -<p>“I may be called to London any minute on -business, and I feel that it will be expected of me -to visit Shakespeare’s birthplace anyway.”</p> - -<p>Sez Martin, with a thumb in both vest pockets, -and a benine, patronizin’ look on his liniment—</p> - -<p>“Shakespeare wrote a number of very creditable -productions, and though I never had the time to -spare from more important things to peruse his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_323">[Pg 323]</span> -works—poems, I believe, mostly—yet I always love -to encourage talent. I think it is becoming for solid -men, for progressive, practical men, to encourage -writers to a certain extent; and Shakespeare, as -I am aware, has been very much talked of. I would -be sorry to miss the chance of saying to those who -inquire of me that I had been there, so I believe -we will proceed there at once.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” I sez, “I shall be glad enough to go;” -and Al Faizi looked tickled, too. He had read him, -he said, in his own country.</p> - -<p>And sez he to me, with his dark eyes all lit up, -“To read Shakespeare is like looking into clear -water and seeing your own face reflected in it, and -earth, and mountain top, and over all the Heavens. -And it is more than that,” sez he, “it is looking into -the human mind and reading all its secrets—all the -wonder and mystery of the soul; it is like looking -at life, and death, and eternity.”</p> - -<p>He wuz dretful riz up in his mind a-talkin’ about -it, and he quoted Shakespeare quite often on our -way to Stratford, and always in the right place, and -he is generally so still, that I see, indeed, how he felt -about him. Alice talked, too, quite a good deal -about Shakespeare. And Al Faizi listened. Yes, -he listened to Alice—poor creeter! And everybody -blind as a bat but jest me.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_324">[Pg 324]</span></p> - -<p>Wall, we got there anon or a little before, and put -up to the Red Horse Inn, a quaint, old-fashioned -tarvern, but where we had everything for our comfort, -and wuz waited on by as pretty a red-cheeked -girl as I want to see.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp100" id="i_322" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_322.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>A quaint, old-fashioned tarvern.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>A sight of emotions wuz rousted up in me as I -sot in that tarvern, or walked through its old-fashioned, -low-ceiled rooms and meditated on who had -been under its ruff.</p> - -<p>When rare Ben Jonson, and Drayton, and Garrick, -and all of Shakespeare’s friends come down -from London to visit him, of course they stopped -here, and of course Shakespeare himself often and -often come here—mebby too often for Miss Shakespeare’s -feelin’s.</p> - -<p>Much as I honor Shakespeare, I have to admit -that he did stimulate a little too much—but, then, -who hain’t got their failin’s? Why, Solomon, the -very wisest man, had more wives than he ort to -had.</p> - -<p>Seein’, I spoze, that we wuz Americans, our supper -that first night wuz served in Washington -Irving’s room, as they call the room that he occupied, -our own genial wit and poet. Mebby his -words didn’t come in rhyme, but they had the soul of -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_325">[Pg 325]</span>poetry, and quaint, sly wit, and good sense and good -manners and everything.</p> - -<p>I always sot store by Washington Irving. (I -had got acquainted with him through Thomas J.)</p> - -<p>Alice quoted a lot from Irving, and a lot from -Shakespeare, while we wuz to the table, and I felt -their presence in my heart.</p> - -<p>Wall, I wuz so kinder beat out that night, that, -as poets say, “I sought my couch” to once, a good-lookin’ -oak bedstead, with a teester cloth overhead, -and some curtains hangin’ down on each side.</p> - -<p>The weariness I had gone through with that day, -mixed in with the powders Mr. Morpheus keeps by -him, brung on a sleep almost imegiately and to once. -And I wuz sweetly a-dreamin’ of seein’ the Jonesville -steeple a-pintin’ up through a ile paintin’ of cows -and calves. Philury wuz a-peacefully milkin’ one of -the cows, while Ury, a-settin’ on the steeple with a -pail of skim milk, wuz a-tryin’ to bagon one of the -calves to him, but a Madonna with a long beard -poked at the calf with a sceptre and made it kick.</p> - -<p>It wuz a sweet, tender dream of home, tinged -slightly with the surroundin’s we had been surrounded -by on our tower.</p> - -<p>But anon as the Madonna and Philury changed -into two gorgeous altar pieces, and Ury leaned near -the calf and fed it out of a stained-glass winder—</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_326">[Pg 326]</span></p> -<p>Even at that very minute a sharp scream cut -through the silence of night, like the ragged thrust -of a bread knife through a loaf of light bread.</p> - -<p>Once, twice, three times, did that cry ring out, -and then I heard the sounds of rapid footsteps, and -anon the door busted open, and my pardner rushed -in and slammed it shet and clicked the bolt to.</p> - -<p>And then he sunk down in his chair and almost -buried his face in his hands.</p> - -<p>I riz up on my piller, and sez I in agitated -axents—</p> - -<p>“What is the matter, Josiah?”</p> - -<p>Sez he from out from under his hand, “I’ve done -it now!”</p> - -<p>“Done what?” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Don’t ask me!” sez he, a-shudderin’ visibly; “it -is nothin’ you want to know.”</p> - -<p>But his words made me more and more determined -to know the worst, as wuz nateral they -should. And finally he said in a surly, cross -way—</p> - -<p>“Wall, if you must know, I’ve been into a -woman’s room.”</p> - -<p>“Been into a woman’s room!” sez I coldly; -“what did you want in a woman’s room?”</p> - -<p>“I didn’t want nothin’—Heaven knows I didn’t, -only to git out agin.”</p> - -<p>“Who wuz it?” sez I in<span class="pagenum" id="Page_327">[Pg 327]</span> stern axents.</p> - -<p>“I d’no—she wuz a perfect stranger to me,” -sez he, with his face still hid in his hand.</p> - -<p>“Wuz she good-lookin’?” sez I in the same stern -tones. I hain’t a mite jealous, as is well known, -but I felt that I wanted to know the worst.</p> - -<p>“Don’t ask me,” sez he; and he continued fiercely, -“What business has a woman to be up a-ondressin’ -herself at this time of night? Why wuzn’t she -to bed and covered up?”</p> - -<p>Sez he, a-growin’ more and more excited and -fierce actin’—“I’m a-goin’ back and tell that -woman that it is a shame and a disgrace to be up -and ondressed at this time of night. Why wuzn’t -her door locked, if she had to ondress?”</p> - -<p>“What business wuz it of yours?” sez I. “Do -you spoze she expected you to be a-prowlin’ round -her room and a-prancin’ in, onbeknown to her?”</p> - -<p>“Gracious Peter!” sez he in pitiful axents; “duz -she think I wanted to be there?”</p> - -<p>“Why did you go in, then?” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Because I made a mistake!” he thundered out. -“I thought it wuz our room. How should I know -that there wuz a dum, red-headed fool there a-ondressin’ -herself at this time of night? Why wuzn’t -she abed—up, and skairin’ a man half to death?”</p> - -<p>“If you’d kep’ out, Josiah, you’d have escaped,” -sez I more softer like, for I see by his axents that -he wuz a-sufferin’ from fear and the effects of <span class="pagenum" id="Page_328">[Pg 328]</span>the -shock.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Be calm; accidents will happen, Josiah. -Come to bed, and try to forgit it.”</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp94" id="i_328" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_328.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Sez he, “I’m a-goin’ back—it is my duty.”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“I won’t try!” sez he. “I’m a-goin’ back and -give that dum fool and loonatick a piece of my -mind. What henders -some other man from -walkin’ in?” Sez he, -“I’m a-goin’ back—it -is my duty!”</p> - -<p>I riz up and laid -holt of him, and sez I, -“Do you stay where -you be, Josiah Allen. -I should think you’d -done enough for one -night.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “What henders Martin and Fazer from -walkin’ in jest as I did, and bein’ skairt to death?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Martin and Al Faizi know enough to -take care of themselves, and it is your place to go -to bed and behave yourself.”</p> - -<p>“A-ondressin’ herself at this time of night!” he -kep’ a-mutterin’ as he put his vest down on a chair.</p> - -<p>“What are you a-doin’?” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Wall, there hain’t a lot of strange<span class="pagenum" id="Page_329">[Pg 329]</span> wimmen -round, is there?”</p> - -<p>I see it wuz vain to dispute the pint. He acted -deeply injured, and as if the woman had made a -plot to skair him, and I had to gin up the idee of -wringin’ any jestice out of his words and demeanors -in the case.</p> - -<p>But the next mornin’ he felt calmer, and didn’t -seem to blame her so much, and admitted that she -had to ondress, and said of his own accord that -mebby he had been too hard on her.</p> - -<p>But he wuzn’t quite reconciled, I could see, and -felt deeply that he might have escaped the shock if -she hadn’t ondressed.</p> - -<p>Wall, our first visit wuz to Shakespeare’s birth-place. -We sot out bright and early.</p> - -<p>It is a long, old-fashioned-lookin’ house, with -three gabriel ends in the ruff on front, and kinder -criss-cross-lookin’, some like a big checker-board, -the cross pieces of oak filled in with plaster, I -should jedge.</p> - -<p>We first went into the kitchen, with its wide, -open fireplace, and how I felt when I thought that -here, right here, in this spot, the immortal Shakespeare -had often sot, with his feet and face burnin’ -hot, and his back a-freezin’, as is the way with them -old fireplaces!</p> - -<p>But no matter how<span class="pagenum" id="Page_330">[Pg 330]</span> his body felt or didn’t feel, -think of that mind, that soul that wuz caged in here -between these narrer and queer-lookin’ walls. -What visions them eager, bright eyes ust to see in -the burnin’ flames! What shadders and shapes the -clouds of smoke took as they floated up and away! -How his soul follered ’em! How he sailed off into -strange heights and depths, sech as no other writer -ever did, or can, foller and explore! How the -mind of the Infinite must have brooded over that -little sleeper that lay over three hundred years ago -in that low, shabby room upstairs—a small, dreary-lookin’ -apartment, with the walls covered with the -names of visitors and verses, etc.</p> - -<p>We went up to it on a steep, narrer stairway. -Martin had to take off his tall hat or he couldn’t -have got in—I d’no whether he would or not -if he hadn’t had to. I wuz proud to see that my -pardner took off his hat the minute we got inside; -I wuz proud of the reverence he showed -for genius, and told him so.</p> - -<p>But he said he forgot that it wuzn’t meetin’, -it seemed some like it, he said, all dressed up -at ten in the mornin’, and goin’ off all together.</p> - -<p>After I spoke he wuz a-goin’ to put his hat on -agin, but I sez—</p> - -<p>“If you’ve blundered into reverential and noble -ways, Josiah Allen, don’t, for pity sake, break it -up.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_331">[Pg 331]</span></p> - -<p>Of course my pardner always takes off his hat -when goin’ into housen, visitin’, or callin’, or sech, -or in our own residence. But on our travels, goin’ -through big, cold buildin’s, dungeons, etc., he’s made -a practice of keepin’ it on, bein’ bald, and sufferin’ -in his scalp from cold.</p> - -<p>But here, in this place, this hant of genius, I felt -for about the first time sence I had been huntin’ -antiquities, that I’d love to take off my own bunnet -and dress-cap, but I spozed that the move would -draw attention and call forth remarks, so I kep’ -’em on.</p> - -<p>But my sperit knelt bareheaded and bowed itself -down before this shrine of Wisdom and Genius, this -earthly abode of one who showed what a grand and -divine thing the human mind may be; who held the -secret of all things common and transcendent—all -things “that are dreamed of in our philosophy” -and more—</p> - -<p>This magician, who showed “what fools we mortals -be,” and showed to what heights of wisdom men -may attain—</p> - -<p>Who held up his wonderful microscope and let -mortals look through it into the inside of their own -hearts and feelin’s and emotions. And who held -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_332">[Pg 332]</span>up a lookin’-glass to Mom Nater, so she could see -her old face in it, every beauty and every deformity—</p> - -<p>Who plunged us into the depths of sorrerful and -heart-breakin’ experience, bewitched us with his wit, -and brung us up so clost to the divine good that -we almost feel the beatin’ of the great heart of -love.</p> - -<p>Wonderful magician, indeed, and havin’ sech feelin’s -for him for years and years (ketched a good -deal from Thomas J., who admires him beyend any -tellin’), I felt that it wuz strange indeed that she -who wuz once Smith should stand right here in the -place where he had once lived.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi felt jest as I did, only more so—jest as -still waters run deepest. I could talk with my companion -yet, and the others, but he stood reverent -and silent, and walked through the rooms like one -in a dream, in which sech visions come that it “give -us pause.”</p> - -<p>But, as I say, I could still talk some—I seem to -be made that way that conversation is hard to -smother in my breast. Lots of wimmen are made -jest so, and men too.</p> - -<p>Martin wuz talkin’ fluently to Alice and Adrian -as they went from spot to spot in the old house, -and Martin wuz, I spozed, a-layin’ up a fount of -memories that the public could tap, and valuable -information would flow for their refreshin’.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_333">[Pg 333]</span></p> - -<p>But anon I missed my pardner; but even as my -Thought wuz a-reachin’ after him, as it always must -while it is yoked to my constant Heart, he come up -to me with joy in his mean and a piece of paper in -his hand, and sez he, with a glad and joyous axent, -in which, too, pride wuz blendin’, about a third of -each ingregient a-makin’ up his hull mean.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I have been a-writin’ a poem in the -visitors’ book, Samantha, and I copied it off for -you on a leaf out of my account book—I knew that -you would want to see it, and then I shall keep the -copy in my tin trunk with my money and deeds.”</p> - -<p>I groaned instinctively, but suppressed it all I -could as I sez—</p> - -<p>“Let me know the worst to once! What have -you writ?”</p> - -<p>He proudly ondid the paper, and I read—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“I, Josiah,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Am settin’ by the fire,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Am right on the spot</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Where Shakespeare sot;</div> - <div class="verse indent2">I’m proud to be there,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Though I spoze, from what Samantha sez, that it hain’t the same chair.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>“There,” sez he proudly, as he folded up the paper, -and put it into his portmoney. “There hain’t -a verse here on these hull walls or on the visitors’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_334">[Pg 334]</span> -book that will compare with that.”</p> - -<p>“No,” sez I coldly, “there hain’t—Heaven knows -there hain’t.”</p> - -<p>Sez he proudly, “It has three great qualities, -Samantha—it is terse, melodious, and truthful. -Shakespeare’s chair wuz sold two hundred years ago -to a Russian princess, and they’ve kep’ on a-sellin’ -the original chair several times sence, so how could -it be here? If I’d been writin’ in prose, I should a -said that it wuz a dum humbug!”</p> - -<p>And here he paused reflectively and dreamily.</p> - -<p>“I might have said sunthin’ strong and strikin’ -here—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“‘It makes me mad as a June bug</div> - <div class="verse indent0">To see ’em try to humbug.</div> - <div class="verse right">‘<span class="smcap">Josiah.</span>’</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>“You know that June bugs hum,” and he murmured -dreamily, “humbug, and bughum; it would -have been very ingenious, and I might say sunthin’ -strong about ‘tire,’ to rhyme with ‘Josiah,’ about -relicks bein’ made to order. ‘It makes me tired,’ -you know, only have it come all in poetry,” sez he; -“it would be dretful appro<i>poss</i>.”</p> - -<p>Sez I coldly, “What you mean by that, I don’t -have any idee.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_335">[Pg 335]</span></p> -<p>“Why,” sez he, “I see it in <i>The World</i>; it is -French, and it means to have anything come in -appropriate—appro<i>poss</i>, you know. I should have -used it in my poem, but I couldn’t think of anything -to rhyme with it but hoss.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “<i>Tire</i> is a good word to use in connection -with your poetry. Everybody would appreciate -it, and hail it with effusion.”</p> - -<p>“But,” sez he with a wise air, “you have to be so -careful in poetry. You can’t use strong phrases -much, if any. And then, knowin’ that I wuz -writin’ in the same book with kings, etc., I felt -that it must be genteel and stylish. And I knew -you always loved to be remembered, and so I -brung your name in, Samantha.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, “you brung it in in sech a way -as to hurt his folkses feelin’s as long as they make -them chairs of hisen.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “it looks well for pardners to -remember each other, and it’s a rare quality, too.”</p> - -<p>I felt that he wuz right, and didn’t dispute him, -and sez he—</p> - -<p>“Samantha, I wanted you to be jined with me -on the pillow of fame. I don’t want to be anywhere -where you hain’t, Samantha.”</p> - -<p>His tenderness touched my heart, and I kep’ -still and let him go on, only I merely remarked—</p> - -<p>“As for its bein’ melodious, Josiah, your first<span class="pagenum" id="Page_336">[Pg 336]</span> -line has got 2 words in it, and your last one -seventeen.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “that’s the way with great -writers—they warm with their subject as they go -on, and git all het up with inspiration. Jest think -of Browning and Walt Whitman.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Don’t go to comparin’ that verse of -yourn with Browning. Why, folks know what you -wuz a-writin’ about! Don’t compare yourself with -Robert Browning.”</p> - -<p>He see in a minute his deep mistake—he see -that folks could find out what he’d undertook to -write about.</p> - -<p>“Wall, Walt Whitman,” sez he, “he writ jest as -long and short lines. I’ve seen ’em to home in -that ‘Leaves of Grass’ Thomas J. owns.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, I wish your grass wuz to home, too,” sez -I; “but,” sez I, a-sithin’ hard, “I’ve got to stand it, -I spoze. But,” sez I warmly, “there hain’t a spot, -from Egypt to Jonesville, but what I’d ruther had -you broke out into poetry in than in this house.”</p> - -<p>And I turned onto my heel and left him, feelin’ -cheap as dirt about it, though I comforted myself -with the thought that his poetry wuzn’t the only -foolish lines writ there.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp51" id="i_337" style="max-width: 20em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_337.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Shakespeare’s ghost reading the effusions on the -walls of his house.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I believe that if Shakespeare’s ghost comes back -and hants this old spot—as it seems likely to spoze -it duz—about the hardest thing it has to bear is<span class="pagenum" id="Page_337">[Pg 337]</span> -to read the effusions -writ all over the walls -and in the visitors’ -book, though some -on ’em are quite good.</p> - -<p>Prince Lucian writ -a very good verse. -But, then, he writ in -it that—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“He shed jest <i>one</i> tear.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>How under the sun -anybody can make -calculations ahead on -sheddin’ jest <i>one</i> tear, -no more, no less, is a -mystery to me, and -it must have been -jest out of one eye, -and not the other.</p> - -<p>But bein’ a Prince, -I spoze he done it; -but I never could. -I couldn’t calculate closter than a dozen or twenty -before I begun to cry, and I couldn’t cry with one -eye and keep the other dry to save my life.</p> - -<p>Our own Washington Irving<span class="pagenum" id="Page_338">[Pg 338]</span> writ quite a good -verse, and so did the American Hackett—the best -actor of some of Shakespeare’s characters.</p> - -<p>Lots of actors have left their names in the room -where the poet wuz born—Edmund Kean, Charles -Kean, and a great many others. And in the visitors’ -book you see writin’s from kings to chore-boys, -and lines in every language—English, German, -French, Chinese, Hebrew, Persian, Turkish, -etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>The Poet of the World has the world come to -do honor to his memory.</p> - -<p>Next to the thought that I wuz under the ruff -that bent over the head of Shakespeare wuz to -see the writin’ of some who had writ their names -on the low walls.</p> - -<p>Charles Dickens! Why, jest to look on that one -name, writ by his own hand, would have been -enough, if I had been to home, to furnished me -with deep emotions for ten days. Nobody knows -what my feelin’s have always been for that man.</p> - -<p>It hain’t quite so fashionable to love Dickens -now as it ust to be. The world has grown older -and more genteel, and seems to prize more the -writin’s it can’t understand—the vaguer ones and -more cross like, and morbid, “Is Life Worth Living”—“No, -it hain’t.”</p> - -<p>“How to be <span class="pagenum" id="Page_339">[Pg 339]</span>Happy though Married.”</p> - -<p>Ibsen, Tolstoi, etc., etc., etc., and so forth and so -on.</p> - -<p>But I lay out to like Dickens till, like Barkis, -the high water comes, and—“I go out with the -tide.”</p> - -<p>So his name, the Master, I laid my hand on’t, -and had ninety-seven emotions durin’ that time, and -I presoom more, though truly I didn’t count ’em.</p> - -<p>And Thackeray, who laughs with us over the -weaknesses of humanity, yet once in a great while -strikes sech a hard and onexpected blow onto our -hearts and feelin’s, that we look right under that -cynical veil he chose to wear, and see the great, -tender heart of the man. His name, writ by his -own hand, gin me powerful emotions, and sights on -’em.</p> - -<p>Lord Byron’s name rousted me up some. Poor, -onhappy, restless creeter! I wuz always sorry for -him—sorry he wuz so mean and grand too—dretful -grand. I spoze he wuz so onhappy that he couldn’t -help lettin’ it run off the ends of his fingers sometimes -onto the paper.</p> - -<p>Some of his poetry uplifts you, like bein’ on a -mountain-top in a storm, and some is like a calm -moonlight night in the tropics, and still there is -some on’t that I never felt willin’ that Josiah Allen -should read—I felt that it would be resky to allow -it. As I looked at his signature I instinctively sez<span class="pagenum" id="Page_340">[Pg 340]</span> -over to myself a verse of hisen, that always seemed -to be kinder open-hearted, and ownin’ up, and had -a good deal of human nater in it. Some despair -and some plain curosity—they always seem to -touch a chord in everybody’s nater—I guess that -most everybody sometimes feels jest about so, jest -so kinder curous to know what is comin’ next—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“My whole life was a contest since the day</div> - <div class="verse indent2">That gave me being—</div> - <div class="verse indent2">And I at times have found the struggle hard,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And thought of shaking off my bonds of clay;</div> - <div class="verse indent2">But now I fain would for a time survive,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">If but to see what next can well arrive!”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Wall, he see the last thing arrive that we know -anything about here. What come next, after he -shet his eyes in Greece (dyin’ nobly, anyway) we -can’t tell. But probble the one who formed that -strange soul knew jest what it needed the most, -and deserved.</p> - -<p>Probble that was the—“The next thing that arrived.”</p> - -<p>But I am indeed a-eppisodin’, and to resoom—</p> - -<p>Then there wuz Sir Walter Scott, and Tennyson, -and Longfellow, and everybody else, as you may -say, who have distinguished themselves in literature -and art, and lots of Lords and Ladies, but them I -didn’t mind so much, knowin’ that for the most<span class="pagenum" id="Page_341">[Pg 341]</span> -part that they had been born into their lofty places -onbeknown to ’em, but the others had made the -high pinnacles for themselves, and then stood up on -’em.</p> - -<p>In another room we see lots of relicks of the past. -Josiah nudged me once or twict a-lookin’ at ’em, I -spoze to call attention to his poetry and his doubts. -But I declined to be nudged, and never looked up -at him at all, but kep’ my eye on the relicks.</p> - -<p>One is a seal ring of Shakespeare’s, with his -initials, W. S., tied together with a true lover’s knot. -It wuz found near Stratford meetin’-house, twenty -years ago and over, and is spozed to be really his -ring, as he said sunthin’ in his will that shows that -he had lost his seal ring.</p> - -<p>Then there is a letter writ to Shakespeare by -Richard Quincy, askin’ the loan of some money.</p> - -<p>I sez to Josiah, “Whether he got it or not, if he -could come back now he could sell that letter of -hisen for enough to make him comfortable.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez Josiah; “I would give fifty cents for -it myself, or seventy-five, if he would take it in provisions.”</p> - -<p>“Hush!” sez I, “you couldn’t git it for that, for -this letter, I feel, is genuine. It seems so nateral, -borrowin’ money of a writer. Why,” sez I, “truth -is stomped onto it.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_342">[Pg 342]</span></p> - -<p>Then there wuz the desk that Shakespeare sot at -when a boy. A rough, battered desk it wuz, with -the lid lifted by leather hinges.</p> - -<p>I sot down to it and leaned my head onto my -hand and thought—thought—of how he felt when -he wuz a-settin’ at it, and wondered if he had boyish -joys or boyish sorrers jest like the rest of children. -And if he scribbled poetry when he ort to be studyin’ -his rithmetic, and whether old Miss Shakespeare, -his ma, sent him off to school happy, with -fond words and a kiss, or kinder mad from a -spankin’.</p> - -<p>To spank Shakespeare! My soul revolted from -the thought.</p> - -<p>Or whether, while he sot here, he studied his -schoolmates and teachers with eyes that must have -held some fur-seein’ wisdom in ’em even at that age, -or whether his mind wuz all took up with goin’ in -a-swimmin’ in the clear waters of Avon, or a-goin’ -a huntin’, or a-nuttin’ in his rich neighbor’s woods, -Sir Thomas Lucy, who looked down with sech -disdain on William when a boy and a young man, -and now whose only earthly chance of bein’ held in -any remembrance is the fact that he misused -Shakespeare.</p> - -<p>But then mebby<span class="pagenum" id="Page_343">[Pg 343]</span> William wuz tryin’, boys are -sometimes.</p> - -<p>I wondered if while he wuz a-settin’ here where I -sot any dreams of Anne Hathaway begun to come -into his brain. She must have been about eighteen, -allowin’ that William wuz ten; mebby some dreams -of the pretty young girl hanted the boy’s vision, -edgin’ themselves in between thoughts of play and -study. But before long them little dreams wuz -a-goin’ to rise up and push every other vision out -of his mind.</p> - -<p>And then there wuz Shakespeare’s jug, and the -old sign of the Falcon—I hated to see ’em.</p> - -<p>And some old deeds and documents relatin’ to -his father’s property, from John Shackspere and -Mary his wyffe, and a deed with Gilbert Shakspere’s -autograph on it.</p> - -<p>And lots of engravin’s of different places about -Stratford, and a great many portraits of Shakespeare.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp55" id="i_344" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_344.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>A great many portraits of Shakespeare.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Poor creeter! if he and Columbus have got -acquainted with each other where they be now, as -I spoze it is nateral to think they have, how they -must sympathize with each other over the numerous -faces they wuz said to have had on this planet! -Noble creeters, it wuz too bad, when they only had -one apiece, and good, noble-lookin’ ones, I most -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_345">[Pg 345]</span>know, or they wuz, anyway, when they got older, -for Time, the sculptor, must have sculped some of -their noble traits into their faces.</p> - -<p>Martin and Alice bought quite a number of -steroscopic views, and I bought a few, and would, -though Josiah looked askance at me as I did it, and -we left the cottage. But I laid my hand on the -doorway as I went out, as though it wuz a shrine, -as indeed it wuz.</p> - -<p>Wall, havin’ seen the place where he wuz born, -we naterally wanted to see the place where he is -a-layin’, where “After life’s fitful fever he sleeps -well,” havin’ “Ended the heartache, and all the -natural ills that flesh is heir to.”</p> - -<p>So we sot out for Holy Trinity Church. New -Place, as it wuz called, where Shakespeare spent the -last days of his life, and where his girl entertained -Queen Henriette, wuz torn down in 1757 by its -owner, who had moved away, and didn’t want to -pay the heavey taxes levied on it. While livin’ -there, he had cut down the mulberry-tree Shakespeare -planted, because folks thronged into his -garden so, and cut off twigs, etc., for relicks; so he -cut it down.</p> - -<p>It seems mean in him, and then, on the other -hand, it would be hard for us to be broke in on any -hour of the day, sometimes when we had a hard -headache, and wanted to set quiet under our own -vine and mulberry-tree, to have a gang of enthusiastick<span class="pagenum" id="Page_346">[Pg 346]</span> -tourists come, and not only break up your -quiet, but break off your branches over your achin’ -head, and mebby recite Shakespeare right there in -broad daylight, and declaim, and elocute, and act.</p> - -<p>It would be tuff—tuff both ways. But the young -folks of Stratford wuzn’t megum—they didn’t try -to see on all sides, as she who wuz once Smith tries -to do, so they used to pelt his winder with stuns -and things, so he moved out. And much as I -honor and revere Shakespeare, I feel kinder sorry -for the man, mebby because nobody else seems to -say a decent word for him. But I believe he see -trouble, with taxes, tourists, elocution, and sech. -And because our eyes are sot on a blazin’ sun that -is shinin’ high in the Heavens, it hain’t no sign that -we ort to kick over every kerosene lamp and candle -that we come acrost. No; less be jest to all, and -respect what is respectable in ’em, and be sorry for -humble trials, as well as proud of lofty glories.</p> - -<p>But to resoom—The house that stands on the -spot now is owned by the town, and is a museum -of Shakespeare’s relicks and souvneirs. It is needless -to say how many emotions I had as I walked -onwards towards the tomb of the greatest writer -who has ever appeared on our planet—in fact, I -couldn’t count ’em or begin to, if there wuz any -need on’t.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_347">[Pg 347]</span></p> - -<p>Nor nobody couldn’t see the crowd that walked -with me—King Lear, with sweet Cordelia a kinder -holdin’ him up; eloquent Portia, Lady Macbeth—the -Henrys and Richards—the bright-faced Shrew -that wuz tamed—Prince Hamlet—Ophelia a-babblin’ -her love ditties—Imogene—poor Desdemona, -and her folks, and etc., etc., etc., etc., etc. How -they pressed round me!—a great deal nigher to me -than Adrian wuz, though I wuz a-leadin’ him by -the hand.</p> - -<p>The church stands near the banks of the sweet -Avon. And we went up to it by a avenue of trees, -and through a great Gothic door, into a porch that -led into the church itself. The old sexton, who had -onlocked the door for us, at our request led us -right up to the monument, which is in a niche in -the chancel, and is spozed to be a perfect likeness, as -it wuz made by a sculptor who wuz acquainted -with Shakespeare, and who had a death mask to -work from.</p> - -<p>There he stands or sets, as the case may be, for a -sort of a marble cushion comes up in front of him, -and you can’t see quite to the bottom of his -vest.</p> - -<p>He stands (or sets) with that high, noble forward -and good-lookin’ featers, and eyes that look clear -through your soul, and that deep collar of hisen <span class="pagenum" id="Page_348">[Pg 348]</span>on, -under a arch that has some cupids up on each side -on top, and coats-of-arms, and skulls, and things.</p> - -<p>And there he has stood (or sot) through the centuries, -jest as I spoze he would wanted to, with a -paper in one hand and a pen in the other, to all -appearance a-writin’, and the hull world a-readin’ it.</p> - -<p>In front of the altar rails are the marble slabs -over the graves of the Shakespeare family, among -them his wife, Anne Hathaway; it reads as follers—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Here lyeth interred the body of Anne,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Wife of William Shakspere, who depted this life the</div> - <div class="verse indent0">6 day of Aug. 1623, being of the age of 67 years.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Another slab marks the grave of Susanna, the -poet’s daughter.</p> - -<p>But, of course, the slab that gin me the biggest -sized emotions, and the greatest number on ’em, wuz -the one over the poet, which has these mysterious -and immortal lines on’t—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Good friend, for Jesu’s sake forbeare</div> - <div class="verse indent0">To digg the dust encloased heare;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Bleste be ye man yt spares thes stones,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And cursed be he yt moves my bones.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>I had a immense emotions of or as I read these -words, and dassent hardly lay my hand on’t. But -made up my mind that as I didn’t have no idee of -movin’ his bones, and laid out to spare the stuns,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_349">[Pg 349]</span> I -might venter.</p> - -<p>There are them that think that some great secret -wuz buried with Shakespeare—them are the ones -that are so sot on thinkin’ that Bacon wuz the one -who writ the great plays, and they say in this very -inscription is hid in cypher a confession that Bacon -writ ’em.</p> - -<p>But I didn’t seem to think so, nor Josiah didn’t, -though he wuz all took up with the idee of the -cypher, as Martin broached it.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “How beautiful it would be, and how -stylish, to write to you when you’re off on your towers -with a cypher! I could write it in poetry, and it -would be so uneek, and if I wanted to complain to -you about the children, or Ury, or anything, how -handy it would be!”</p> - -<p>“But,” I sez, “in answer to that idee of yourn, -I can quote to you the first line of Shakespeare’s -epitaph, and I feel it, too,” sez I.</p> - -<p>He went back and read it over agin, and come -back lookin’ real puggicky.</p> - -<p>But I see that other folks had felt jest as I did -about disturbin’ the slab, for it looked fresh and -new, while the other ones near it wuz all worn with -the footprints of time and the tourists; and when -the poet’s wife and daughter died, they wanted dretful -to be laid by William, but they dassent open the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_350">[Pg 350]</span> -grave. The curse he threatened held ’em back.</p> - -<p>Queer! I wish I knew what he meant by it, -but can’t; the silence of three hundred years can’t -be broke by one small woman’s voice, or ruther one -woman’s small voice. No answer comes to our -deep wonder and curosity.</p> - -<p>In this church is the font where Shakespeare wuz -baptized—this wuz in the church at the time of his -birth, but wuz took out in the seventeenth century, -and replaced by a new one; this old one lay for years -in a heap of rubbish, and wuz used for a pump -trough for a spell—jest think on’t!</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_350" style="max-width: 20em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_350.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>The font in which Shakespeare was baptized.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>There is other interestin’ things in the church, -but we didn’t wait to see ’em. We went out and -wandered for a spell around the quaint streets of -Stratford. Every shop almost has souvneirs to sell -of the great man—busts and medallions and picters -of him and his home, and his tomb, and carvin’s, -engravin’s, etc., etc. I <i>would</i> buy a plate with his -birthplace on’t, though Josiah demurred.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I always thought you wuz so peticular, -Samantha, what you eat on, and the idee of eatin’ -on Shakespeare—cow-slop greens, for instance, or -pork and beans.”</p> - -<p>I sez, “It hain’t Shakespeare’s face.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_351">[Pg 351]</span></p> - -<p>“Wall, eatin’ cabbage and onions on a meetin’-house.”</p> - -<p>“It is <i>his</i> house,” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “custard and Shakespeare’s -birthplace.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “what of it—what of custard and -Shakespeare?” My tone wuz cold—cold as ice, -and it danted him, and he sez—“Oh, wall, if you -can reconcile ’em, and bring ’em together, buy -it.”</p> - -<p>It wuz the money he begreched, though you -could git ’em from a sixpence up. I gin a shillin’ -for mine. It wuz a good plate.</p> - -<p>Wall, we went acrost the old bridge, over the -clear waters of the Avon. And we visited the -Memorial Hall, a big buildin’ built in honor of -the poet’s three hundredth anniversary. It has -a theatre to act out Shakespeare’s plays on -Memorial days, and a library filled with the volumes -that have been writ about him, and the -picter gallery is filled with picters, some on ’em -different faces of hisen, and them relatin’ to his -life and writin’s. It wuz a interestin’ spot, and I -would have loved to lingered in it longer, and so -would Alice and Al Faizi, but Josiah wuz tired out, -and he sed to me aside—</p> - -<p>“It is most night and I <span class="pagenum" id="Page_352">[Pg 352]</span>am starved to death!” -Sez he, “I hain’t most starved, but starved.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “we shall have to do what Martin -sez.”</p> - -<p>“Martin!” he whispered enough to take my -head off—“Martin! Can he suffer and die for me, -do you think?”</p> - -<p>And then he reviled me for not havin’ some -cookies and cheese with me.</p> - -<p>And I asked him if I could be expected to make a -restoraunt of myself, and lug round cookies and cheese -for him all over Europe. And we had some words.</p> - -<p>But the expression of his face wuz pitiful in the -extreme when Martin come up, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“Without doubt it would be expected of me to -visit Shottery and see Anne Hathaway’s cottage. -And as my time is limited, and I have already -wasted nearly a day of my valuable time in noticing -Shakespeare, I think that we had better do up the -whole of this weary job to-night; so I propose that -we go at once from here to Shottery.” And he -hurried out to the carriage.</p> - -<p>Josiah whispered to me in a feeble voice, “He -needn’t use any Shottery on me or stabbery or any -other killery, I shall fall dead without ’em. I cannot -stand it, Samantha!” sez he.</p> - -<p>He did indeed look wan; weariness and hunger -had made sad inroads on his mean, and my heart -melted, and I hurried out to see if I could <span class="pagenum" id="Page_353">[Pg 353]</span>gain -Martin’s consent to wait till mornin’ before we went. -But no! He said he knew that he should be asked -if he had seen the cottage, and he could not waste -another day on a writer of -books and the girl he married.</p> - -<p>Alice come out jest then -a-lookin’ considerable pale, and -I sez, “It is goin’ to be pretty -hard on Alice and Adrian; -they are pretty tired now.”</p> - -<p>“Are they?” sez he. That -man would have jumped into -the Avon if it would have -pleased either of ’em. He -worships ’em. And then he -sez, “I suppose I can stay -over another day.” Sez he, -“They are of the <i>first</i> importance.”</p> - -<div class="figright illowp69" id="i_353" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_353.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>The supper that man eat wuz enormous.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Josiah sez to me aside—“Dear Samantha, you -have saved my life!”</p> - -<p>And the supper that man eat wuz so enormous -that I whispered—</p> - -<p>“Have I saved you, Josiah, to lose you now? -saved you on the road and relicks, to lose you on a -plate and deep dish?” And he didn’t like it.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_354">[Pg 354]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XVIII">CHAPTER XVIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">SHOTTERY AND WARWICK CASTLE.</p> - -<p>Wall, the next mornin’ we sot out bright and -early for Shottery, Josiah feelin’ as peart as you -please, and the two children’s faces lookin’ like -roses. Al Faizi’s eyes wuz bent on the biggest and -sweetest rose, as you may say, with a worshippin’ -look, that nobody noticed but she who wuz once -Smith.</p> - -<p>We found the cottage a long, low buildin’, lookin’ -as old as the hills, though, like ’em, there didn’t seem -to be no signs of fallin’ down and decayin’.</p> - -<p>They say it is in jest the condition it wuz when -gentle Anne Hathaway lived here, and drawed -William over here so often by the strong magnetism -of love.</p> - -<p>The walls wuz kinder criss-crossed, lookin’ some -like Shakespeare’s cottage, and the ruff wuz kinder -histed up in places, down towards the eaves, into -gabriel ends. And some birds wuz playin’ and -wheelin’ round the chimblys. They might have -been to all appearance the very same birds that sang -round the latticed winders of Anne’s room, and -waked her up on summer mornin’s, a-sayin’ to her, -as they wheeled round and round it, in the rosy<span class="pagenum" id="Page_355">[Pg 355]</span> -dawn—</p> - -<p>“Will is coming to-day to see you! Will loves -you! Will loves you!”</p> - -<p>I presoom the birds wuz relations to them very -ones—grandchildren, “removed” a great number -of times.</p> - -<p>If birds keep a family tree and plume themselves -on their ancestors (and trees and plumes comes -nateral to ’em), I presoom they talk this over -amongst themselves; mebby that wuz jest what they -wuz a-talkin’ about that day, a-twitterin’ about -legends a-flyin’ down from the past—</p> - -<p>How the happy, eager-faced lover ust to come -to see their pretty Anne, and how her heart wuz -won, and she went out of the old house a happy -bride with the man of her heart, who wuz not an -illustrious man to her at all, but only Will, Will -Shakespeare, the man she loved, and who loved her.</p> - -<p>How they did chirp and talk sunthin’ over! I d’no -what it wuz.</p> - -<p>Inside wuz some old-fashioned furniture, amongst -the rest a bed that ust to belong to Miss Shakespeare, -she that wuz Anne Hathaway. Mebby it wuz -the same bedstead that her pardner left her in his -will.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_356">[Pg 356]</span></p> - -<p>“His second-best bed and bed furniture.”</p> - -<p>It seems as if he hadn’t ort to done it; it seems -as if she ort to had the best one. Howsumever, -there might be reasons that I don’t know nothin’ of -that influenced him. Mebby they’d had words over -it; mebby she’d told him that she wouldn’t take it -as a gift, and that he needn’t give it to her; mebby -she thought it wuz extravagant in him to buy it, -and throwed it in his face that as much as he paid -for it, it wuz nothin’ but hens’ feathers, and the -second-best bed, the one her ma had gin her, wuz as -good agin and softer layin’.</p> - -<p>I d’no, nor nobody don’t. Anyway, he willed it -to her, and I presoom it wuz on this very bedstead -it wuz put; it gin me queer emotions to look on’t, -and a sight on ’em.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin sed that as the day wuz partially -wasted, we might jest as well drive over and see -Warwick Castle; it wuz only eight milds’ drive.</p> - -<p>The old town of Warwick is about eighteen -hundred years old, and dates back to the time of -the Romans.</p> - -<p>But, as Martin well sed, “Think of a town over -eighteen hundred years old with only ten thousand -inhabitants, and then,” sez he, a-leanin’ back in the -carriage and puttin’ his thumbs in his vest pockets -a-pityin’ and a-patronizin’ the Old World dretfully—</p> - -<p>“Think of Chicago, about fifty years old and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_357">[Pg 357]</span> -with a population of about forty hundred thousand”—he -spread out the population a purpose. He owns -lots of real estate in Chicago, and is always a-puffin’ -it up.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “They haven’t got public enterprise and -push over here, as we have.”</p> - -<p>But his tone kinder grated on my nerve somehow, -and I spoke up and sez—</p> - -<p>“They don’t base their reputation on a mob of -folks, and beef and pork; they have sunthin’ more -solider and more riz up like.”</p> - -<p>But I’ll be hanged if I didn’t have to change -my mind a little afterwards, of which more -anon.</p> - -<p>You see I had heard Thomas J. read a sight -about the old Saxon earls of Warwick, and specially -Guy Warwick in the time of Alfred the Great (you -know the man that fried them pancakes and burnt -’em, and had other great reverses, but come out -right in the end, as men always do who are willin’ -to help wimmen in their housework).</p> - -<p>I always bore strong on this great moral when -Thomas J. would be a-readin’ these deeds to me (I -thought he might jest as well wipe a few dishes for -me once in a while as well as not). And he’d read -“how Guy killed a Saxon giant nine feet tall, and a -wild boar, and a green dragon, and killed an enormous -cow.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_358">[Pg 358]</span></p> - -<p>At the porter’s lodge we see the rib of that cow, -and Josiah said, “You sed that they didn’t date -back any of their greatness to beef; what do you -call this? Why,” sez he, “Ury and I kill a cow -almost every fall; nothin’ is said in history of it; -you don’t set any more store by me.”</p> - -<p>I see that I had done the man onjestice, and I -sez tenderly, “You are a good provider of beef, -Josiah, and always have been; but,” sez I, “this -cow wuz probble twice the size of one of your -Jerseys. You couldn’t wear that breastplate, or -swing that great tiltin’-pole, or the enormous sword -that hangs up there,” sez I, “you couldn’t move -’em hardly with both hands, and,” sez I, “look at -that immense porridge-pot of hisen; you couldn’t -eat that full of porridge, as he probble did.”</p> - -<div class="figright illowp92" id="i_359" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_359.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">You couldn’t eat that full of porridge.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“Try me!” sez he, earnestly—“jest try me, that’s -all.” Sez he, “I could eat every spunful and ask for -more.”</p> - -<p>And there it wuzn’t much after noon. That -man’s appetite is a wonder to me and has been ever -sence I took it in charge. And foreign travel, -which I thought mebby would kind o’ quell it down, -only seems to whet it up to a sharper edge.</p> - -<p>The way to the castle is through a large gateway, -and then we go through a roadway which is cut -through solid rock for more’n a hundred feet,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_359">[Pg 359]</span> -and then when you come out, you suddenly git a -full view of the grand old castle, with its strong -walls and noble old Round towers.</p> - -<p>The first is Guy’s Tower, one hundred and twenty-eight -feet high, and has walls ten feet thick—jest -think on’t! the walls further -acrost than our best bedroom.</p> - -<p>Then there is Cæsar’s Tower, -eight hundred years old and one -hundred and fifty feet high, and -between these towers the gray, -strong old castle walls, with slits -in ’em for the bowmen to shoot -their arrers out of, and portcullises -and old moat, showin’ -that the castle in its young days -had everything for its comfort and defence. Enterin’ -one of the arched gateways in the wall, you -find yourself on the velvet grass and amongst the -stately old trees of a spacious courtyard, with the -ivy-covered walls and towers and battlements risin’ -on every side of it.</p> - -<p>We walked round up on them walls—clumb up -into Guy’s Tower and looked off on a glorious landscape, -as beautiful as any picter, and went down -below Cæsar’s Tower into some dungeons; gloomy -places of sorrer, filled even now with the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_360">[Pg 360]</span> atmosphere -of pain and agonized memories.</p> - -<p>The great hall, sixty-two feet by forty, with oak -ceilin’ and walls darkened by time and covered with -carvin’s, has firearms of all kinds, and splendid -armor of all ages—English crossbows, wicked-lookin’ -Italian rapiers, weepons of all kinds inlaid -with gold and silver in the most elegant workmanship.</p> - -<p>We see Prince Rupert’s armor, Cromwell’s helmet, -a gun from the battlefield of Marston Moor. And, -in fact, all round you you see the most elegant and -curous curosities, and can look down the hull -length of the grand apartments that open into each -other, a length of three hundred and thirty feet—the -red drawin’-room, the gilt drawin’-room, the -cedar drawin’-room, etc., etc.</p> - -<p>At the end of a little hall leadin’ from the great -hall I see the noted picter of Charles 1st on horseback, -with one hand on his side.</p> - -<p>I declare, it actually seemed as if he wuz a-goin’ -to ride right in here amongst us, it wuz so perfectly -nateral. It wuz painted by Vandyke. I don’t see -how Vandyke ever done it—I couldn’t.</p> - -<p>The apartments are all furnished beautiful—beautiful. -Cabinets, bronzes, exquisite old china, magnificent -anteek furniture, and the most rare and -beautiful picters are on every side—by Rubens, Sir<span class="pagenum" id="Page_361">[Pg 361]</span> -Peter Lely, Hans Holbein, Salvator Rosa, Rembrandt, -Vandyke, Guido, Andrea del Sarto, Teniers, -Murillo, Paul Veronese. And beautiful marble -busts by Chantrey, Powers, etc. There wuz a lovely -table that once wuz owned by Marie Antoinette. -And others had rarest vases on ’em, and wonderful -enamelled work of glass and china, with raised figgers -on ’em, made by floatin’ the metals in glass; -nobody in the world knows now how to make ’em. -One dish we see wuz worth one thousand pounds.</p> - -<p>As I see this I nudged Josiah, and sez I, “When -you think of what this dish is worth, hain’t you -ashamed of standin’ out about that plate?” And -he said—</p> - -<p>“It wuz the sperit of the thing I looked at, -mixin’ Shakespeare up with vittles; though,” sez he, -“I would gladly eat now offen a angel or a seraphin; -why,” sez he, “St. Peter himself wouldn’t dant me.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “we’ll be havin’ dinner before -long.” We laid out to eat at Warwick before we -went back.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Look round you and let your soul grow -by takin’ in these noble sights.” Sez I, “Look at -them bronzes and tortoise-shell and ivory and -mosaic.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, <span class="pagenum" id="Page_362">[Pg 362]</span>“I’d swop the hull lot of ’em, if they belonged -to me, for a plate of nut cakes or a bologna -sassige. And I’d ruther see a good platter of pork -and beans than the hull on ’em!”</p> - -<p>I knew he wouldn’t complain so much alone, so -I left him and sauntered round -to look at the beautiful objects -on every side.</p> - -<p>In the state bedroom is the -bed that belonged to Queen -Anne, and the table and trunks -that she used, also her picter.</p> - -<p>In the grand dinin’ hall is a -great sideboard, made from a -oak that grew on the Kenilworth -estate, so old that they -spoze it wuz standin’ when -Queen Elizabeth come here to -the castle a-visitin’.</p> - -<p>The carvin’s on it show the -comin’ of Queen Elizabeth -and her train, her meetin’ with sweet Amy Robsart -in the grotto, the queen’s meetin’ with Leicester, -etc., etc.</p> - -<p>Jest as I wuz a-lookin’ at this and a-standin’ before -it in deep thought, Martin come on out of -the drawin’-room, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“A wonderful display of art and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_363">[Pg 363]</span> virtu!” sez he.</p> - -<p>My eye wuz bent on that sideboard, and I -sez—</p> - -<p>“I d’no as I’d call it a display of virtue—I don’t -believe I would.”</p> - -<p>I wuz sorry for Miss Leicester—sorry as a dog.</p> - -<p>Though when I see the epitaph she put above -that handsome, fascinatin’ mean creeter (her husband), -put it over him her own self, when he wuzn’t -by her to skair her and make her stand up for him -as pardners will sometimes—I d’no as I wuz very -sorry for her. Thinkses I, She either didn’t know -enough to know what her pardner wuz up to, or else -she wuz sech a fool she didn’t care about it. In either -case I felt that my sympathy wuz wasted—of which -epitaph more anon.</p> - -<p>Wall, we went through a place in the wall they -called a portcullis, and over a bridge called a -moat.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp65" id="i_362" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_362.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">The more I see of moats, the more determined - I be to have one round our house.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And Josiah nudged me here, and sez he, “The -more I see of moats, the more determined I be to -have one round our house.” Sez he, “How stylish -it would be and how handy! When you see company -comin’ you didn’t want, or peddlers or agents -or anything, jest pull back your drawbridge, and -there you’d be safe and sound.” Sez he, “I’ve -wanted one for years, and now I’m bound on havin’ -one.” Sez he, “Ury and I will start one the minute -I git home.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “You won’t do any sech thing.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_364">[Pg 364]</span></p> - -<p>“Why,” sez he, a-arguin’, “it would be a boon to -you, Samantha; hain’t I hearn you groan when onexpected -company driv up, and you wuz out of -cookin’ or cleanin’ house or anything? All you’d -have to do would be jest to speak to Ury or me, and -jest as they wuz a-comin’ along, a-thinkin’ of dinner -mebby, a-wonderin’ what you’d have—bang! would -go the drawbridge, and they’d jest have to back up, -and turn round and go home.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I; “how could I face ’em the next -Sunday in meetin’? It hain’t feasible,” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Face ’em?” sez he; “if they said anything, tell -’em to start a moat of their own; tell ’em you -couldn’t keep house without one.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, shaw!” sez I; “come and look at this -vase.”</p> - -<p>And, indeed, we had entered a greenhouse full of -the most beautiful flowers and rare plants, and wuz -even then in front of the famous Warwick vase. -It is a huge, round, white marble vase that holds -one hundred and thirty-six gallons, with clusters of -grapes and leaves and tendrils; and vine branches, -exquisitely wrought, run round the top and form -the two large handles, with other designs full of -grace and beauty all wrought in it. How old this -vase is nobody knows, but it wuz used by somebody<span class="pagenum" id="Page_365">[Pg 365]</span> -probbly centuries before old Warwick Castle wuz -ever thought on.</p> - -<p>Who wuz it that drinked out of it? How did -they look? How come it sunk in the bottom of -the lake? I d’no, nor Josiah don’t.</p> - -<p>It wuz found at the bottom of a lake near Tivoli -by Sir William Hamilton, Ambassador then at the -court of Naples.</p> - -<p>I gazed pensively on the vine-clad spear of -Mr. Bacchus carved on it, and sez I to Josiah—</p> - -<p>“How true it is that that sharp spear that Mr. -Bacchus brandishes is covered with beautiful vines -and flowers at first; but it stabs,” sez I—“it stabs -hard, and,” sez I, “who knows but somebody that -had been pierced to the heart by that spear of hisen, -a-reachin’ ’em mebby through the ruined life of -some loved one—who knows but what he got so -sick of seein’ them symbols of drinkin’ revels that -he jest pitched it into the lake?”</p> - -<p>“Keep on!” sez Josiah, “keep on! I believe -you’d keep up your dum temperance talk if you -wuz on the way to the scaffold.”</p> - -<p>“That would be the time to preach it,” sez I; -“scaffolds is jest what drinkin’ revels lead to, and -if it wuz my last words, mebby folks would pay -some attention to what I said.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_366">[Pg 366]</span></p> - -<p>“Wall, wait till then,” sez he. “I have got to -have a little rest. I am dyin’ for a little food, and -if I git through this day alive I have got to be -careful, and let my <i>ears</i> rest anyway.”</p> - -<p>He did indeed look quite bad, and I sez soothin’ly—</p> - -<p>“Wall, Martin will be for goin’ back before long -now. He is gittin’ hungry himself; I heard him -say so.”</p> - -<p>We didn’t stop to but one more place on our -way back to the tarvern where we had dinner, and -that wuz to that old horsepital founded by Robert -Dudley, Earl of Leicester, in 1571. It wuz meant -in the first place for one Master and twelve bretheren, -the bretheren to be of the Earl’s servants, or -his soldiers who had been injured in battle. But -now they are appointed from Warwick and -Gloucester, and have a comfortable livin’.</p> - -<p>It wuz quite likely in Robert to build this horsepital—a -old-fashioned-lookin’ place enough in 1895. -But sech likely deeds as this couldn’t cover up his -black performances.</p> - -<p>The chapel is an elegant buildin’, built for a -memorial to the great Earl of Warwick, the first in -the Norman line, and his elaborate tomb is here.</p> - -<p>But it wuz in this chapel where I see the epitaph<span class="pagenum" id="Page_367">[Pg 367]</span> -of which I spoke more formerly. It is over the -tomb of Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester, the one -Queen Elizabeth thought so much on. There I -see the epitaph I despised.</p> - -<p>On the tomb are the recumbent figgers of -Leicester and his pardner, the Countess Lettice. -Probbly about the only time they wuz ever so -nigh to each other without quarrellin’, and this -epitaph sez, after givin’ all his titles—more’n enough -of ’em—</p> - -<p>“His most sorrowful wife Letitia, through a -sense of conjugal love and fidelity, has put up this -monument to the <i>best</i> and <i>dearest</i> of husbands.”</p> - -<p>She must have been a <i>fool</i>, for besides his goin’s -on with the queen—which would made me as -jealous as a dog—a learned writer says—</p> - -<p>“According to every appearance of probability, -he poisoned his first wife, disowned his second, dishonored -his third before he married her, and in -order to marry her, murdered her first husband, -while his only surviving son was a natural child by -Lady Sheffield.”</p> - -<p>“The <i>best</i> of husbands!” What wuz Lettice -a-thinkin’ on? She’d no need to put his actin’s and -cuttin’s up on a tombstun. I wouldn’t advised -her to; but I should say to her—“Now, Lettice, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_368">[Pg 368]</span>you jest put onto that gravestun a good, plain -Bible verse—‘The Lord be merciful to me, a sinner,’ -or, ‘Now the weary are at rest,’” or sunthin’ -like that—I should have convinced her. But, then, -I wuzn’t there—I wuz born a few hundred years too -late, and so it had to be; but it made me feel bad -to see it. I want my sect to have a little self-respect.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi is dretful well-read in history, and he -took out that little book of hisen, and copied off -the hull of the inscription on Leicester’s tomb, all -the glowin’ eulogy of his glorious deeds, which he -knew wuz false. He didn’t say nothin’, as usual, -but looked quite a good deal as he writ.</p> - -<p>I didn’t say nothin’ to him, but Josiah will att -him once in a while about his writin’, and he sez -now—</p> - -<p>“What are you a-writin’ about, Fazer?”</p> - -<p>He turned his dreamy, pleasant eyes onto us, -and seemed to be lookin’ some distance through -us and beyend us, and the light from the East -winder fell warm on his face as he sez evasively—</p> - -<p>“Your missionaries tell our people to always -tell the truth—that we will be lost if we do not.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez Josiah, “that is true.”</p> - -<p>Al Faizi didn’t reply to him, but kep’ on -a-writin’.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_369">[Pg 369]</span></p> -<p>Wall, a happy man wuz my pardner as we returned -to the tarvern, and a good, refreshin’ meal -of vittles wuz spread before him. He done jestice -to it—full jestice—yes, indeed!</p> - -<p>Wall, the next mornin’ we sot out for the Lake -Deestrict, accordin’ to Martin’s first plan, which -he’d changed some. Sez Martin, as we wuz talkin’ -it over that evenin’—</p> - -<p>“It would, perhaps, be expected of me to go -on and visit Oxford.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I warmly, “Thomas J. has read so -much to me about Tom Brown at Oxford, it -would be highly interestin’ to see the places Tom -thought so much on.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez Alice with enthoosiasm, “and where -Richard the Lion-hearted was born, and where -Alfred the Great lived.”</p> - -<p>Sez Josiah, “I wouldn’t give a cent to see where -he lived. I despise fryin’ flap-jacks, and always did, -and if a man undertakes to fry ’em, he ort to tend to -’em and not let ’em burn.”</p> - -<p>But Alice went right on, “And think of being -in the place which William the Conqueror invaded!”</p> - -<p>“And,” sez Al Faizi, “where Latimer, and Ridley, -and Cranmer were burned at the stake for -their religion by Bloody Mary.”</p> - -<p>It beat all how well-read that <span class="pagenum" id="Page_370">[Pg 370]</span>heathen is—he -knows more than the schoolmaster at Jonesville, -enough sight.</p> - -<p>But sez Martin, with his thumbs inside of them -armholes of hisen—</p> - -<p>“It is not for any -such trifling reasons that -I would visit Oxford, -but, as I say, it undoubtedly -would be expected -of me, if it was -known at Oxford that I -was so near, that I would -give a little of my valuable -time to them; for -there, I have thought -hard of sending my son -to finish his education.</p> - -<p>“For as you know, -Cousin Samantha, my -boy is to have the best -and costliest education that money can give. -His future is in the hands of one who will look -out sharply for the very best and most valuable -means of education. It is not as if he were -a common child. But he is my little Partner—are -you not, Adrian?” sez he fondly to the little -boy, who wuz lookin’ dreamily out of the winder.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_371">[Pg 371]</span></p> -<p>Adrian turned, and the gold of the settin’ sun -wuz on his sweet face.</p> - -<p>“Your father will look out for your future, little -Partner; we will work together for your good, will -we not, my boy?”</p> - -<p>Mebby it wuz because I sot there so nigh—mebby -it wuz the perfume of the English voyalets Alice -had pinned into the front of my bask, jest like -’em I wore that day, but, anyway, some recollection -seemed to take him back to that time at Jonesville, -for he sez, jest as he did then—</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp70" id="i_370" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_370.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">I am going to work for the poor.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“I am going to work for the poor.”</p> - -<p>“Ah, indeed!” sez Martin, smilin’, “and how -will you do it, little Partner?”</p> - -<p>Agin he turned his sweet face towards us, and -agin the big, earnest eyes and sweet, serious mouth -wuz gilded by the glowin’, yet sad smile of the -sinkin’ sun.</p> - -<p>And he sez simply, “I don’t quite know how, -Father, but I know I shall work for them, and help -them in some way.”</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin dismissed the matter with a laugh, -but I kep’ the words in my heart, and believed ’em. -I believed truly that the Lord would lead him, and -make him do His work.</p> - -<p>Wall, I kinder wanted<span class="pagenum" id="Page_372">[Pg 372]</span> to visit Mugby Junction, -as Dickens named Rugby Junction. It wuzn’t fur -from Warwick, and I’d loved to seen it, and eat one -of them sandwitches, and been glared at by the -female in charge there, and her help, and seen her -poor, browbeat husband and the <i>Boy</i>, but didn’t -know as they wuz all alive.</p> - -<p>And if they wuz, as Josiah well sed, sez he, “My -stumick is bad enough now, without eatin’ leather -sandwitches.”</p> - -<p>And I sez, “I’d love to give ’em my recipe for -good yeast bread, and I’d willin’ly tell ’em how to -make delicious sandwitches, and not ask a cent for -it.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Take good minced chicken, or lamb, and -a little mustard and sweet butter, and a pinch of -minced onions and—”</p> - -<p>But Josiah interrupted me, “They’d only look -stunily at you if you offered your services; why,” -sez he, “they always look as if they feel so much -above you at our railroad stations to home, that you -want to crawl into your hand-bag and git out of -their way. They’d despise your overtoors.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “my conscience would be clear, -and travellers’ nightmairs wouldn’t be so frequent.”</p> - -<p>But a bystander observed that they had good -sandwitches there now.</p> - -<p>Havin’ been turned round<span class="pagenum" id="Page_373">[Pg 373]</span> in their stuny and -leather course, by Dickens, I spoze.</p> - -<p>So we packed up our things and started in pretty -good sperits for the Lake Deestrict.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_374">[Pg 374]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XIX">CHAPTER XIX.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">THE LAKE DISTRICT AND ITS POETS.</p> - -<p>We went to Windermere, and from there took -the omnibus for Bowness—</p> - -<p>One of the charmin’est little villages I ever sot -my eyes on, as clean as my kitchen is when I git -it all swept out. The housen are all built of stun, -and some on ’em have little porches built out on -’em, but all on ’em overrun with ivy. And flowers -and pretty climbin’ plants make every house attractive, -and not a mite of dust or dirt—I wonder -what they do with it?</p> - -<p>The little tarvern where we stayed wuz so clean -and comfortable that I wondered what the tarvern-keeper -and his wife would say if they wuz sot down -in some of our own small hotels. It wuz a lesson -in perfect neatness and order, the hull place wuz.</p> - -<p>And the landscapes all round the little village -wuz pretty enough to frame, and we see ’em more -or less all the while we stayed there; we made our -headquarters there, and sallied out for excursions, -a-lookin’ on picters on every side on us—green -grass and foliage, high, tree-covered hills, little, -lovely, clean, picturesque villages like them I have -described, magnificent country seats, with grand entrances<span class="pagenum" id="Page_375">[Pg 375]</span> -and porters’ lodges, and stately green parks, -and fountains, and deers, and sleek herds of cattle -walkin’ through on the velvet grass and green tree -aisles, and cottages, and quaint old bridges, and -dark stun churches half covered with ivy.</p> - -<p>Bowness is on the shores of the lake. As I say, -we put up at a good tarvern, and the next day we -sot out on our sight-seein’.</p> - -<p>The waiter at the tarvern told us as we sot out on -our first excursion that we had better take our -waterproofs and umbrells.</p> - -<p>It is needless to say that I had my faithful umbrell -in my hand, but the rest hadn’t, so they got -theirn, and I went back for my waterproof, and -glad enough we wuz, for before night we wuz -ketched out in four different showers—good drivin’ -ones, but short.</p> - -<p>Martin, who had been ust to fur bigger lakes—Michigan, -Ontario, Superior, and sech—wuz bitterly -dissapinted in ’em, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“A trout out of Lake Superior would die of -thirst in one of these lakes.”</p> - -<p>And Josiah, who had been up on our lakes on -a tower, sed that those lakes would make a pretty -good waterin’ trough for American cattle; sez he, -“There would be in each one of ’em as much as an -ordinary Yankee cow would want to drink.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_376">[Pg 376]</span></p> - -<p>I see the driver a-lookin’ on in deep surprise, and -sez I, “Josiah Allen, remember you are a deacon; -let it be known to once that you are talkin’ in -parables.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “I would want to be took in that -way, but they’re dum small potatoes compared to -our lakes.”</p> - -<p>“But they’re beautiful,” sez I, “and are full of -tender associations.” Sez I, “Look at the poets that -have hallowed these sacred spots—Coleridge, and -Southey, and Wordsworth, and Mrs. Hemans, -and—”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez Josiah, interruptin’ me, “on our -lakes there is me, and—”</p> - -<p>But I turned away in silent scorn, and looked -out on the beauty of the seen. Lovely picters -lay round us on every side—wooded shores, lovely -islands, glowin’ waters—a paneramy of beauty -never to be forgot.</p> - -<p>Dove’s Nest, which wuz once the home of -Mrs. Hemans, I looked on with a deep interest, -for though Felishy and I didn’t think alike about -little Casey Bianky, who “stood on the burnin’ -deck,” and I should have approved of his runnin’ -away before he got burnt up, still I respected her -for quite a number of things, and as I meditated -on the poets who had loved this beautiful place,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_377">[Pg 377]</span> -and lived here and wrote their songs, I instinctively -thought, in the words of Felishy—</p> - -<div class="blockquot"> - -<p>“Where are these dreamers now?”</p> -</div> - -<p>The biggest of these lakes are Windermere, -Ullswater, Conoston and Durwentwater, but there -are a good many others. And they are all, like our -Niagara Falls and Thousand Islands, been turned -into money-makin’ shows.</p> - -<p>Wall, of course we wanted to see—</p> - -<div class="blockquot"> - -<p>“How the waters come down to Lodore.”</p> -</div> - -<p>But we wuz dretful dissapinted, for the water -didn’t come a-sweepin’ down with the force and -fury Mr. Southey described—not at all. Josiah, -who had hearn Thomas J. read the poem, wuz mad -to think it wuzn’t so. “And,” sez he, in a threatenin’ -way—</p> - -<p>“I could tell Mr. Southey that we didn’t know -none the better for <i>his</i> tellin’ ‘How the waters -come down to Lodore.’</p> - -<p>“Why,” sez he, “the mill-dam to our buzz-saw -mill in Jonesville is furious agin as this, and more -noble and impressin’ lookin’ by fur, and,” sez he, -gettin’ all het up, “I’d love to tell Mr. Southey -so.”</p> - -<p>Sez <span class="pagenum" id="Page_378">[Pg 378]</span>I, “Josiah, don’t git nerved up and talk about -jawin’ a man who has been dead for more’n fifty -years.” Sez I, “It don’t sound decent in you—he -meant well.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “He wuz good to his own family, and -then think of how dretful good he wuz to Coleridge’s -wife and children; though, to be sure,” sez I, -“they wuz relations on <i>Her</i> side.”</p> - -<p>“I understand that,” sez Josiah; “he could do -<i>that</i> and not deserve any particular thanks to <i>himself</i>. -I know how <i>that</i> is.”</p> - -<p>I see he wuz insinuatin’ sunthin’ or ruther, but I -wuzn’t browbeat, nor wuzn’t led off by him. -Sez I—</p> - -<p>“He writ first-rate prose, and wuz Poet Lauerate.</p> - -<p>“That wuz what might be expected,” sez Josiah.</p> - -<p>I don’t exactly know what he did mean by that, -and I don’t believe he did.</p> - -<p>“Then,” sez I, “he wuz the greatest talker that -ever talked. He would talk for hours and hours, -without gittin’ up, or those gittin’ up that heard -him.”</p> - -<p>“I know what that is,” sez Josiah; “that don’t -raise him in my estimation; no, Heaven knows -it don’t!”</p> - -<p>I hain’t the <i>least</i> idee what he meant by <i>that</i>, but -he found immegiately that I wouldn’t multiply any -more words with him.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_379">[Pg 379]</span></p> - -<p>But, as I sez, it wuz a comfort to visit this hant of -Southey, and I wuzn’t goin’ to see him run down -too much for enlargin’ a little mite about the power -of that waterfall; as I sez to Josiah—</p> - -<p>“Sunthin’ ort to be allowed for a poet’s license.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, yes, that is so; I didn’t -think of it,” sez he. “I thought -it wuz a barefaced lie. I see,” -sez he; “I make use of one of -them poet’s licenses myself -sometimes; I forgot.”</p> - -<p>Wall, the waters did meander -down in a very languishin’ -and thin sort of a way, and I -couldn’t deny it, but the surroundin’s -wuz beautiful and -the associations hantin’ and -powerful in the extreme.</p> - -<p>Wall, while we wuz in that neighborhood I see -everything I could of the remains of the Lake -School of Poets. I told Josiah I wanted to, and he -sez—</p> - -<p>“Wall, I d’no as I’m a-goin’ to make much of a -effort to see their hants.” Sez he, “Probble they -got that name, Lake Poet, because their poetry -hain’t no bigger accordin’ than the lakes be, and if -that is so, I don’t want to patronize ’em.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_380">[Pg 380]</span></p> - -<p>“Patronize!” sez I, lookin’ several icy cold -daggers through him. “I have to stand Martin’s -demeanors and acts, though they are harrowin’ to -my soul and sickenin’ to the stumick, but I <i>won’t</i> -stand by and have my own pardner talk about -patronizin’ Coleridge and Wordsworth.” Sez I, -“Talk about patronizin’ the man that wrote ‘The -Ancient Mariner.’”</p> - -<div class="figright illowp82" id="i_379" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_379.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>My tone chilled him to the veins.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>My tone chilled him to the veins, and he walked -off some distance away. And my mind roamed on -that weird and matchless poem I had heard Thomas -J. read so much, that I wuz as familiar with as I -wuz with the Almanac.</p> - -<p>How the Ancient Mariner—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Held the wedding guests with his glittering eye.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And how that belated guest “beat his breast” -as he heard the weddin’ guests pass in, and he havin’ -to set out on a stun by the side of the road, and -<i>had</i> to hear this “gray beard loon” tell his story. -For the old Mariner knew the one he had to tell it -to when the fit come on, and so that weddin’ guest -had to set and hear that most weird and wonderful -story ever told.</p> - -<p>And at last, jest as he released that poor, tuckered-out -guest (when the weddin’ wuz all over, poor dissapinted -creeter!), how he ended with these lines, so<span class="pagenum" id="Page_381">[Pg 381]</span> -noble they must have mollified that poor, belated -creeter—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“He prayeth best, who loveth best</div> - <div class="verse indent2">All things, both great and small,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">For the dear God, who loveth us,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">He made and loveth all.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And then there is the poem of Christabel, -another one of my very primest favorites. How -many times the truth of some of them lines have -been brung up to me in my own native land of -Jonesville!</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Alas! they had been friends in youth,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">But whispering tongues can poison truth.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Alas! for the whisperin’ tongues that carry the -poison of asps with them. Alas! for the hearts and -lives that through their malice and whisperin’s are -torn apart, and nothin’ can atone for their evil -effects—nothin’, <i>nothin’</i></p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Can free the hollow hearts from paining,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">They stand aloof, the stars remaining.</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Like cliffs that have been rent asunder,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">A dreary sea now flows between.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Yes; my mind jest dwelt on Mr. Coleridge all -the time while I wuz in the Lake Deestrict. But we -see while we wuz there lots of other places of great -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_382">[Pg 382]</span>interest to me. Though, as I sed, the Falls of -Lodore didn’t fall quite so much as he had depictered -’em, yet Rydal Falls wuz a seen of beauty -and enchantment, with the water flowin’ down -through the rocks and overhangin’ trees. It wuz -a picter to always remember, to frame round with -admiration and hang up in your memory.</p> - -<p>And then there wuz a promontory called Storr’s -Point, which had a observatory built on it. Here -wuz where Sir Walter Scott, Wordsworth, Southey, -and Conway met in 1825 to see a regatta gin in -Scott’s honor.</p> - -<p>It must have been a pretty sight, the scenery -around it wuz so beautiful.</p> - -<p>And then we see Miss Martineau’s handsome -residence, called the Knolls. I spoze on account -of its being built on quite a rise of ground.</p> - -<p>I spoze she wuz quite a likely poetess, and -wrote most probble twenty books on every subject, -from religion and politics to mesmerism and -handicraft. But Thomas Jefferson couldn’t never -git over sunthin’ she said to Charlotte Brontë in a -kind of a fault-findin’ way; it jest gaulded Charlotte -dretfully. Poor little creeter! with the mind of a -giant and the body of a child—a glowin’ soul of -fire and the shrinkin’ weakness and tenderness of -heart of a young child.</p> - -<p>Harriet hadn’t ort to said<span class="pagenum" id="Page_383">[Pg 383]</span> it—she ort to known -that God don’t send a genius any too often onto -this dull earth, and folks ort to prize ’em and guard -’em when He duz; but folks don’t; they pick at -’em, and they have to stan’ it, and build up a stun -wall of endurance and constant anguish of patience -between these tormentors and their own souls and -sensitive feelin’s. And then set behind that barricade -and try to write. And folks only see the stun -work, and don’t see what it wuz raised for, and they -call ’em cold, and cross, and unfeelin’, and etc., etc., -etc.</p> - -<p>But they hain’t cold, nor etc., etc., etc.—no sech -thing.</p> - -<p>But I am a-eppisodin’, and to resoom.</p> - -<p>I presoom that one thing that made Harriet sour -and kinder hard sometimes wuz she wuz so deef; -not a-knowin’ any of the time what other wimmen -wuz a-sayin’ about her—behind her back, or -to her face either; it’s enough to sour any disposition, -only the very sweetest ones.</p> - -<p>Wall, we went to Hawkeshead, where Wordsworth -went to school, Martin sayin’ he should -probble be asked if he had seen the old school-house.</p> - -<p>It wuz a old schoolhouse a hundred years ago, -when Wordsworth went to school there.</p> - -<p>It is a little, old-fashioned place, and Martin put -his fingers in his vest pockets, and leaned back, and -looked round him some as if he wuz a-patronizin’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_384">[Pg 384]</span> -them old memories with which the place wuz -filled.</p> - -<p>Good land! he’d no need to; them memories -towered up and filled the hull place, and floated off -round it into the serene, beautiful -English landscape, and up towards -the blue heavens above.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp49" id="i_384" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_384.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Martin with his patronizin’ ways.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Martin couldn’t quell ’em down -with his leanin’s back, and thumbs in -his armholes, and patronizin’ ways.</p> - -<p>I sot down to the poor, shabby -old bench to which he had sot, and -see the very spot where the boy Billy -had cut his name in the rough old -desk. Mebby he got licked for it—I -shouldn’t wonder a mite. The -teacher not knowin’ that though he -might be slapped in youth, and laughed -at by Reviewers in early manhood, yet a great man—a -man of simple manners, and a soul of genius -sot there at that desk, jest as the great oak wuz hid -in the heart of the acorn in Billy’s pocket, mebby, -at the time.</p> - -<p>I had quite a large number of emotions as I sot -there—probble upwards of seventy-five.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_385">[Pg 385]</span></p> - -<p>Wall, of course we went to Rydal Mount, the -home where he lived and worked, and to Grass-mere, -where he lays asleep with his kindred.</p> - -<p>The south wind waved the branches of the trees -that stood jest a little ways from the simple slabs.</p> - -<p>Not fur off wuz the grave of Hartley Coleridge, -son of Wordsworth’s friend—a son who inherited -all the splendor and weakness of his father’s nater.</p> - -<p>He drinked!</p> - -<p>But some of his sonnets are upliftin’ in the extreme.</p> - -<p>“Poor creeter! what he could have been if he -had left stimulants alone,” I sez to my pardner, as -we looked down on his quiet grave.</p> - -<p>And he sez, “There you be agin—meetin’-housen -and castles can’t stop you, nor buryin’-grounds -skair you out; I’m sick of your dum W. C. T. U. -talk!”</p> - -<p>I felt too riz up to argy with him, but I felt -deeply the truth of what whiskey had done in his -case. And as to his pa, I said to myself, “Weakness -of will, and opium, mebby, stood in the way -of the world’s seein’ another Shakespeare—not <i>jest</i> -like him, but a new and uneek type of poet; jest -as great and dazzlin’, but different as one big star -differs from another—all on ’em a-flashin’ out light -onto a dark, dull world.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_386">[Pg 386]</span></p> -<p>Alice felt deeply the sweet sadness of the spot—the -quiet beauty of the landscape round us, the -bird’s song in the green branches overhead, and the -low, sweet song of the -little stream, the south -wind amongst the trees.</p> - -<p>She stood under a -tree lookin’ up through -it into the sky overhead, -followin’ the flight of a -bird. Her face looked -so sweet—so sweet that -I thought if Wordsworth -was here he -would be reminded of -his own lines, and think -that—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Beauty born of murmuring sound</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Had passed into her face.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Her face had a good -look to it, too, that -made me think that she wuz a-goin’ to make—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“A perfect woman, nobly planned,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">To warn, to comfort and command,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And yet a spirit still and bright,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">With something of an angel’s light.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Al Faizi felt this, I see—I could see that by his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_387">[Pg 387]</span> -face. But <i>I</i> knew, havin’ seen her tired out and -kinder fraxious when her shoes hurt her feet or a -hairpin pierced her, or her cosset pinched her, etc., -I knew she wuz a creeter—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Not too bright or good</div> - <div class="verse indent0">For human nature’s daily food,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">For transient sorrows, simple wiles,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Praise, blame, love, kisses, tears and smiles.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>But he see her only as a “lovely apparition,” a -“phantom of delight.”</p> - -<p>I felt that as he stood there in that rapt moment -he see all the beauty of nater through her—he see -rock and plain, earth and Heaven, glade and bower. -I methought he wuz sayin’ to himself as he looked -at her—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“The floating clouds their state shall lend</div> - <div class="verse indent0">To her; for her the willow bend;</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Nor shall she fail to see,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Even in the motions of the storm,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Grace that shall mould the maiden’s form</div> - <div class="verse indent2">By silent sympathy.</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“The stars of midnight shall be dear</div> - <div class="verse indent0">To her; and she shall lean her ear</div> - <div class="verse indent2">In many a secret place,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">When rivulets dance their wayward round,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And beauty, born of murmuring sound,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Shall pass into her face.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<div class="figleft illowp56" id="i_386" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_386.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>A livin’ poem bound up in a girl’s sweet body.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And<span class="pagenum" id="Page_388">[Pg 388]</span> I felt, too, in view of what I knew, that all -that would be left of Al Faizi in the futer would be -the memory of what had been and never more -would be. Yes, all took up as he wuz with the -poets of the western world, he wuz more heart interested -in the livin’ poem bound up in a girl’s sweet -body. And he turned away from the hants of -poets to look in her sweet face.</p> - -<p>Poor creeter! I see what he didn’t spoze I did, -and all the rest wuz deef and dum—deef as posts -and dum as adders.</p> - -<p>But I am a-eppisodin’ and to resoom.</p> - -<p>We sot out for London the next day.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_389">[Pg 389]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XX">CHAPTER XX.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">THE ARRIVAL IN LONDON.</p> - -<p>Martin, who owned, or pretty nigh owned, several -railroads, wuz dretful talkative about the superior -merits of our cars, etc. And, to tell the truth, -these English cars did seem quite a good deal like -ridin’ in a wagon, or a old-fashioned coach, where -you set facin’ each other, and they wuz pretty low, -made so as to not bump our heads when goin’ -through covered bridges, I guess.</p> - -<p>Of course, Martin paid for the best there wuz, -and we had a hull car to ourselves, all cushioned and -fixed off in the nicest manner, and after we all got -in we felt very comfortable all alone by ourselves if -we’d wanted to. And ever and anon a basket of -good refreshments to refresh ourselves would be -handed in to us. But it filled me with horrow to see -bottles of beer, wine, etc., in every one of ’em, and I -sez to myself—“Who and what did they spoze I -wuz?”</p> - -<p>I wuz indignant to think that they should dast to -offer she that wuz once Samantha Smith bottles of -intoxicants.</p> - -<p>Josiah kinder<span class="pagenum" id="Page_390">[Pg 390]</span> hefted the bottle in our basket, -and said dreamily sunthin’ about when you wuz in -Rome of doin’ as the Romans did. But I sez to -him coldly—</p> - -<p>“Be you a deacon or be you not? Are you a -member of the Temperance Society in Jonesville, or -are you not?”</p> - -<p>And he kinder wriggled round oneasy in his seat -and laid the bottle down. If it hadn’t been for me, -I tremble to think what would have been the result -to Jonesville and the world at large.</p> - -<p>Ever and anon the guide would walk along sideways -by our winder and go the hull length of the -train, for all I know a-seein’ to us. I don’t see what -hendered him from fallin’ off. It wuz sunthin’ I -wouldn’t have done for a dollar bill. I never wuz -any hand to walk sideways, even on the ground.</p> - -<p>But, howsumever, there wuzn’t any casualties reported.</p> - -<p>Another thing that did seem strange to us wuz -that we didn’t have any checks for our baggage to -take care on. That seems dretful queer to Americans -to have to go out and hunt round and find our -own trunks. Though we had no trouble with ourn, -for it wuz a very valuable one, and easy to be recognized -with the naked eye. It wuz a trunk that belonged -to Father Allen, and made on honor, and it -lasted him through his life, and then descended onto -Josiah—and will, we think, descend, as good<span class="pagenum" id="Page_391">[Pg 391]</span> as new, -onto Thomas Jefferson.</p> - -<p>One reason it has wore so well is, I spoze, that -Father Allen never took but one trip in his life -with it, and that wuz up to Canada. That journey -lasted him for a story all his days; he wuz looked -upon with considerable or as a highly travelled man.</p> - -<p>The trunk is covered with hair of a good gray -color and trimmed off handsome with brass nails. -And Josiah, to make sure of its not bein’ stole, -writ our names in bright, brass-headed tacks. It -took him quite a spell. He sed he believed in -doin’ the fair thing by me, so it reads—</p> - -<p class="center"> -“<span class="smcap">Josiah and Samantha Allen.<br /> -Jonesville,<br /> -U. S.</span>” -</p> - -<div class="figright illowp100" id="i_391" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_391.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Them letters wuz a stroke of genius.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Them last letters he sed wuz a stroke of genius. -He sed the English -people would be so -tickled when they see -it, for they would see -in a minute that he and -me had really come -over! We wuz there! -“us!” Samantha and -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_392">[Pg 392]</span> -Josiah! and then, too, it would stand for the United -States.</p> - -<p>He made them two letters of a little bigger nails, but -they wuz all good sized, and a very bright brass color.</p> - -<p>And truly it did seem as if England wuz glad to -have us there, for I don’t remember of seein’ a single -Englishman that looked at that trunk that -didn’t laugh when he see it, or smile warmly. Yes, -they wuz glad enough to have us there.</p> - -<p>Martin didn’t see the trunk until we arrove at the -steamer, and it affected him different. He looked -fairly stunted and browbeat when he sot his eyes -on it; evidently he thought it wuz a pity to run -the resk of jammin’ it, or gittin’ the nails rusty, for -sez he:</p> - -<p>“Good Heavens! let me get you a new trunk! -It isn’t too late!” And he rushed off like a man half -distracted.</p> - -<p>But it wuz too late, for the bell rung in a minute, -and we sot sail.</p> - -<p>But Martin never see it durin’ that hull trip but -he looked on it with that same look of or—a kind -of a dark, questionin’ or.</p> - -<p>Alice jest laughed when she see it. She liked its -looks, we could see, though she didn’t come right -out and say so.</p> - -<p>But Adrian sed it wuz the most beautiful thing -he ever saw in his life. And he beset Josiah to -put his name on one of their trunks with the same<span class="pagenum" id="Page_393">[Pg 393]</span> -kind of nails.</p> - -<p>And Josiah, who had took a few along to repair -damages in ourn, in case we should lose some of the -nails, or some envious Englishman should steal ’em -out, stood ready to do it.</p> - -<p>But Martin broke it up. I guess he thought -that Adrian wuz too young to go into sech extravagances. -They had four trunks between ’em, but -not so much luggage as the English carry round -with ’em. They beat all, baskets, bundles, portmantys—as -they call their trunks—and hat-boxes and -rugs and bath-tubs.</p> - -<p>The idee! What would we be thought on in -America if we lugged round sech things. Josiah, -who always hankers after style, sed he was most -sorry we didn’t take our enamelled wash-dish. Sez -he, “It would have looked dretful genteel;” sez he, -“We could have lashed it to our trunk with some -red cord, and it would have looked so stylish.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, shaw!” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “when you’re in Rome, do as -the Romans do, and,” sez he, “I’d love to let the -English that carry round their bath-tubs see that -‘U. S.,’ the ones that own that trunk, know what -gentility is and what style is.”</p> - -<p>But I wouldn’t gin in to the idee,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_394">[Pg 394]</span> though he as -good as sed that he stood ready to buy a new wash-dish -for the venter.</p> - -<p>But economy prevailed, not common sense, but -jest closeness. I see in his mean that he wuz givin’ -up the idee, as I told him that with the care I -would give it the wash-dish we had would last for -years and years.</p> - -<p>Wall, we got to London in what ort to be the -daytime, but it wuz as dark as pitch with fog, and -how we wuz ever goin’ to git through them streets, -full of blackness and roar, roar and blackness, wuz -more’n I could tell.</p> - -<p>I leaned back in that omnibus time and agin -durin’ that trip, truly feelin’ that my hour had come.</p> - -<p>As Josiah told me afterwards, in talkin’ it over—I -wuz a-dwellin’ on my feelin’s durin’ the epock, -and he wanted to outdo me, I guess, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“I know jest how you felt, Samantha; I too -felt, in the words of another, as if ‘every breath I -drawed would be my next.’”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “You meant your last.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he, “my last; it wuz a dretful time.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “I put my trust in Providence—a -good deal of the time I did.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he, “so did I. I wuz jest ground -down to it that I had to.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “less be thankful<span class="pagenum" id="Page_395">[Pg 395]</span> that we got out -alive—out of that black, movin’, rumblin’ roar.”</p> - -<p>We wuz talkin’ it over in our room that night, -a good, comfortable room, with all the modern improvements. -It wuz a hotel for Americans that -Martin had gone to, and it wuz jest like the best -of our American tarverns.</p> - -<p>Josiah sez, when he see the bright lights in our -room, “Thank Heaven, I won’t have to use my -candles!”</p> - -<p>He had hearn that folks had to furnish their -own lights in England, so he’d lugged round a -couple of taller candles, run in our own candle -moulds to home.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp79" id="i_395" style="max-width: 10em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_395.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>A hull soap-box full.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I told him not to, but he sed he wuzn’t goin’ to -pay no high price for lights when we had a hull -soap-box full under the suller stairs. So he had -took ’em at the resk of spilin’ his dressin’-gown, as -I told him.</p> - -<p>“No, I don’t resk that,” sez he; “that is to the -top of the trunk. The candles are packed down -with my Sunday suit to the bottom of the trunk.”</p> - -<p>I changed their position.</p> - -<p>But his feelin’s for that dressin’-gown -are simply idolatrous, as I tell -him—specially the tossels.</p> - -<p>And he said he “never thought -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_396">[Pg 396]</span>of makin’ idols of ’em—worshippin’ a tossel!” -sez he, scorfin’ly. But he duz think too much -on’t.</p> - -<p>Wall, the next mornin’ the fog seemed to be -lowered a little. I could see the sun, or pretty -nigh see it, which I felt wuz indeed a blessin’; and -after a good breakfast we sot off on a excursion.</p> - -<p>I had sed from the first minute London wuz -talked on, that Westminster Abbey wuz my first -gole, and the rest seemed to feel a good deal as -I did. Al Faizi and Alice wuz dretful anxious -to see it, and Martin sed—</p> - -<p>He thought it wuz probble what would be expected -of him, and if he wuz summoned home -on account of his business, he said he <i>must</i> be -able to say that he had been to Westminster Abbey, -anyway.</p> - -<p>So he engaged a big carriage, and we sot off, -Josiah kinder laggin’ back and actin’ onwillin’. He -had found a New York <i>World</i> in the readin’-room -for the first time sence he left home, and he sed -openly—</p> - -<p>That he had ruther stay to home with his dressin’-gown -on and read that paper than to see any -Abbey that ever wuz born.</p> - -<p>He thought it wuz some noted woman, and I -wuz deeply touched by his preference, and cast-iron -principle; but I explained, and would make -him go. So we sot off.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_397">[Pg 397]</span></p> - -<p>Wall, the first view I got of that imposin’ edifice -looked jest as nateral as could be; for Thomas J. -has got a big photograph of it framed in his office, -with the two great, high towers, 225 feet high, and -the big Gothic winder between ’em, and the great -Gothic door below. The buildin’ is a immense -one; it is built in the form of a cross, and is more’n -five hundred feet long.</p> - -<p>I can tell you, I had a sight—a sight of emotions, -and about as large sized ones as I ever had, as I -stood inside, under them lofty arches, full of the -mellow light of the stained-glass winders, and looked -off down, down that long colonnade of pillows, at -the end of which, fur off, is the chapel of Edward -the Confessor.</p> - -<p>This chapel is full of the tombs of kings and -queens—Henry III., in brass, lyin’ on top of a huge -porphery tomb; Edward I. and his queen, Eleanor, -who sucked the poison from her husband’s wound -in Palestine; and Queen Philippi, who put down -a insurrection in Scotland, while her pardner, Edward -III., wuz away from home.</p> - -<p>Noble creeters! I wuz proud on ’em as I thought -over their likely, riz-up deeds. I couldn’t have done -more for my Josiah, and I felt it as I looked on ’em.</p> - -<p>Wall, I said that the very first place I wanted to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_398">[Pg 398]</span> -see wuz the place sacred to the Great Dead. So I -went off kinder by myself, as I spozed, led by a -guide, but the rest follered on after me.</p> - -<p>Martin said that if a telegram should recall him -home sudden, he spozed it would be expected of -him, anyway, to say that he had stood by the monuments -to Shakespeare, Dickens, Thackeray, etc., in -Westminster Abbey. Sez he, “I have never read -the poems of the last two gentlemen, but I hear -that they are very creditable; so much so, that I -have heard their names mentioned often, and I -would like to say that I have stood by their remains.”</p> - -<p>I didn’t say nothin’ to Martin, but the feelin’s as -I stood right by the side of that man made a deep -gulf that swep’ him fur off away from me, and swep’ -me back into a life that seemed more real, almost, -than my own.</p> - -<p>Little fingers plucked at my gown, as it were, -and, lookin’ down, I see the brave, patient face of -Little Nell, and Tiny Tim, and David Copperfield, -and the old-fashioned looks of little Paul Dombey, -and Little Rowdey, Becky Sharp’s neglected boy; -and little Clive Newcome’s sturdy figger wuz -pushed away anon by the tall, slender figger that -walked by his cousin Ethel Newcome’s side with -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_399">[Pg 399]</span>a achin’ heart. I seemed to hear the Old Colonel -saying “adsum” to the Heavenly roll-call.</p> - -<p>Mrs. Gummidge’s melancholy voice, recallin’ the -“old un’,” mingled with Peggotty’s comfortin’ -talk and tender words to “Little Em’ly;” Mrs. -Micawber, bearin’ the twins, passed on before me; -Micawber, Dombey, Pecksniff, Little Dorrit’s -patient form, Bella Wilfer’s handsome, wilful face -went by me, a-lookin’ up, coquettish, but lovin’, into -the sad, reasonable eyes of “Our Mutual Friend.”</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_400">[Pg 400]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXI">CHAPTER XXI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">WESTMINSTER AND PARLIAMENT HOUSES.</p> - -<p>I see Captain Cuttle and Bunsby fleein’ from -Mrs. McStinger, and Wall’r Boy and his uncle, -and Susan Nipper and Toots, and Mrs. Pipchin, -and sweet Florence a-walkin’ by the Little Brother -where the wild waves were talkin’ to him and the -silver sails a-beckonin’ him over into a fur country—David -Copperfield; Dora, the child wife; Agnes -Wickfield, with her finger on her lips, and a-pintin’ -upwards; dear Aunt Betsy Trotwood, and Oliver -and Nicholas Nickleby; Mrs. Jellaby, with her -dress onhooked and droppin’ papers with absent -eyes, and Esther and Guardy, and Skimpole and -the little Pardiggles—</p> - -<p>How the crowd swep’ by me! It wuz a sight.</p> - -<p>Ophelia passed by with her apron full of flowers, -and she said to me, with a sad look out of her sweet -dark eyes—</p> - -<p>“Here is rosemary, I pray you, love, remember.”</p> - -<p>Truly, I didn’t need her reminder—my soul wuz -all rousted up and a-rememberin’.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_401">[Pg 401]</span></p> -<p>I remembered the young feller she kep’ company<span class="pagenum" id="Page_402">[Pg 402]</span> -with—yes, indeed! Hamlet, “the expectancy and -rose of the fair state.” His shadder follered her -clost, and I almost said to him with Horatio, “Good-night, -sweet prince.”</p> - -<p>But he looked kinder curous—he wuz a little off -and acted, and, poor creeter! so wuz she, too; I felt -to pity ’em both, and anon she seemed to be singin’ -the song that Hamlet ust to sing to her when he -wuz a-waitin’ on her:</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Doubt that the stars are fire,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Doubt that the sun doth move;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Believe that truth is a liar,</div> - <div class="verse indent1">But never doubt that I love.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>She believed still in his constancy. She wuz a -good deal out of her head.</p> - -<p>Then Rosalind and Queen Catharine’s stately -figger glided by; and eloquent Portia and Lady -Macbeth a-holdin’ up her lamp, a-lightin’ her on to -crime—the light a-shinin’ back into her dark, evil -face—</p> - -<p>And old King Lear, with faithful Cordelia a-holdin’ -his tremblin’ old arms, and a-helpin’ him along.</p> - -<p>Then, feelin’ pensive—Il Penseroso, I seemed to -see John Milton’s blind eyes lookin’ into Paradise, -and the Fairy Queen seemed to look down on us -from the tablet of Spenser, and “Rare Ben Jonson,” -Chaucer, John Dryden, Thomas Gray—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_403">[Pg 403]</span></p> - -<p>I wuz a-walkin’ back with him in the old church-yard—“Where -the rude forefathers of the hamlet -sleep”—</p> - -<p>When Martin interrupted me, and sez he—“Gray, -Thomas Gray, I suppose that is the father of Lady -Jane Gray.”</p> - -<p>I didn’t dispute him, but as I looked at him -a-leanin’ back and a-feelin’ big, I allegored to -myself—</p> - -<p>“We don’t need to remember Micawber or Dombey; -we’ve got a livin’ curosity with us.”</p> - -<p>Al Faizi wuz deeply interested in the Poet’s Corner. -He stood long and silently by the graves of -the great dead, and his face wuz a deep mirror of -his thoughts.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp54" id="i_401" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_401.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>We stood long and silently by the graves of the great dead.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Alice wuz very much interested in ’em, too.</p> - -<p>But as I stood by Goldsmith’s grave—a-seein’, -with my mind’s eye, Mrs. Primrose and Olivia and -the good Vicar a-moralizin’ at em—</p> - -<p>I hearn Josiah say to Adrian—</p> - -<p>“Oliver, goldsmith.” Sez he—“I spoze Mr. -Oliver wuz the best goldsmith in England, or he -wouldn’t be layin’ here. He probble made the -crowns and septers they all have to wear in these -monarkiel countries.”</p> - -<p>I turned round, and sez<span class="pagenum" id="Page_404">[Pg 404]</span> I, “The metal that Goldsmith -used wuz purer gold than that—it wuz the -rare wealth of a faultless style.”</p> - -<p>“That’s what I said,” sez Josiah—“stylish jewelry, -and septers, and sech.”</p> - -<p>But I explained it all out to Adrian, and kep’ -him by me all I could.</p> - -<p>Alice drawed my attention to the bust of Longfellow, -our own poet, and my emotions swep’ me -off quite a long ways, clear from this old Abbey -to—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Where descends from the Atlantic</div> - <div class="verse indent0">The gigantic</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Storm winds of the equinox.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Yes, he seemed to bear me clear to the musical -murmurs of Minnehaha, Laughing Water, and from -Acadia to Spain. I travelled fur and wide.</p> - -<p>And then there wuz the tomb of Thomas -Campbell and Matthew Prior and James Watt and -Mrs. Siddons. Not all in one place are these tablets -and busts and monuments, but my mind seems -to kinder gather ’em in together as I look back.</p> - -<p>The most elegant chapel in the Abbey is that of -Henry VII. Its noble arched ceilin’ is exquisitely -ornamented and carved—flowers, vines, armorial -designs, etc., etc., in almost bewilderin’ richness -and profusion. Henry and his wife Elizabeth the -last to rain of the House of York.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_405">[Pg 405]</span></p> - -<p>In this chapel is also the tomb of poor Mary, -Queen of Scots, with her figger in alabaster on top -of it.</p> - -<p>If it wuzn’t in alabaster—if she wuz alive, and if -the kings and queens wuz also alive and actin’—what -a time there would be in that old Abbey!</p> - -<p>If that exquisite body had agin that rare gift of -magnetism—or, I d’no what it wuz, anyway, it -wuz sunthin’ that drawed men to her despite their -own will, and, it is needless to say, aginst their -pardners’ wishes—what a time, what a time there -would be!</p> - -<p>How the emperors and kings and princes that -now stood so still and demute would gather round -her! How the wives would draw back and glare! -And mebby some on ’em, bein’ quick-tempered, -would throw their septers at her.</p> - -<p>Poor creeter! mebby it’s jest as well that she is -made of alabaster; for not fur from her is the -tomb of Queen Elizabeth, a-layin’ down guarded by -four lions.</p> - -<p>She’d a-needed ’em, Lib would, if she’d a-expected -to keep her lovers from a-follerin’ after -Mary. She wuz a jealous creeter, and vain, although -a middlin’ good calculator.</p> - -<p>But Raleigh, and Leicester,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_406">[Pg 406]</span> etc., etc.—lions -couldn’t a-kep’ ’em from the prettiest woman—no, -indeed!</p> - -<p>In the same vault is Bloody Mary, who burnt up -about seventy folks a year durin’ her rain.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi took out his little book with a cross -on’t, and wrote quite a lot here, and he also did before -Mary, Queen of Scots. I d’no, mebby he, too, -bein’ a man, felt some of the subtle charm that -surrounds her memory, even to-day, and keeps men -from ever doin’ plain jestice to her, and always will, -I spoze.</p> - -<p>Not fur off is the restin’-place of the little -princes murdered in the Tower by Richard III.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi writ sunthin’ here, too, in his book—quite -a lot.</p> - -<p>There are nine chapels in the Abbey, each one -full of the tombs of ’em whom the world has -delighted to honor; and the guide told us that -many a king and prince lay here who had not any -memorial to mark his last sleep.</p> - -<p>One of these wuz the “Merry Monarch,” -Charles II. Among the great crowd who surrounded -him, like a swarm of hungry insects, feedin’ -upon him, and buzzin’ out their praise and -compliments and loyalty to him, and flatterin’ his -vices and weaknesses, not one of ’em thought -enough of him to rare up the least little mark to -his memory—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_407">[Pg 407]</span></p> - -<p>A deep lesson of the worthlessness of worldly -praise or blame. A great contrast to this is the -monument to Charles and John Wesley. They -worked on all their lives, a-preachin’ and a-warnin’ -aginst the vices of the great, as well as the humble, -and here they have their monument amongst the -royal dead.</p> - -<p>Another thing that interested me in the Abbey -wuz the Coronation Chair, in which every sovereign -in England, from Edward the Confessor -down to Queen Victoria, has been crowned.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp68" id="i_407" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_407.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>An immense chair, the four legs bein’ -four animals.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>It is a immense chair, the four legs bein’ four -animals—lions, I guess, though they looked kinder -queer. But mebby they wuz a-thinkin’ who and -what they wuz a-holdin’ up that made their hair -stan’ out so kinder queer, and their tails curl up -so.</p> - -<p>Under the seat wuz a queer-lookin’ -slab of stun, and they said it -wuz the very stun Jacob had his -head pillered on. It wuz carried -back and forth by his descendants, -and finally got to Ireland, where -it wuz used at the Coronation of -the Irish Kings.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_408">[Pg 408]</span></p> -<p>Some say that if the one who wuz a-bein’ -crowned wuz unworthy royal honors, the stun -would groan, but kep’ still if it wuz the right one -in the right place.</p> - -<p>I should have thought it would have done considerable -groanin’ in the centuries gone by—in the -case of Henry VIII., for instance, etc., etc.</p> - -<p>I don’t believe it groaned the last time it wuz -used. No; as a female a-thinkin’ of a female, I wuz -proud to contemplate the fact that most probble it -never gin a single groan, or even a sithe, at that -time.</p> - -<p>Some say that wimmen can’t rule good, but -hain’t Victoria rained well and rained long?</p> - -<p>Yes, indeed!</p> - -<p>Wall, we lingered in this venerable and intensely -interestin’ place for a long time, and until the -gnawin’s of hunger woke in my pardner’s inside, -and he gin pitiful expressions of his inward oneasiness.</p> - -<p>But Martin sed he must visit the Housen of -Parliament. He sed that it would certainly be -expected of him; so we went through Westminster -Hall to the new Palace of Westminster, as the -buildin’ is called.</p> - -<p>The laws made here ort to be noble and big-sized, -indeed, to correspond with the place they are made -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_409">[Pg 409]</span>in. It covers eight acres of ground, has eleven -hundred rooms, one hundred stairways, and eleven -courts. It cost over fifteen millions, so they say.</p> - -<p>But I d’no, I didn’t feel ashamed of our own -Capitol at Washington when I see it. That is a -good sizable buildin’, and made on honor, good -enough and big enough to correspond with the laws -made in it.</p> - -<p>Yes, indeed!</p> - -<p>Wall, Westminster Hall, that we went through -to go to the House of Parliament, wuz dretful interestin’.</p> - -<p>The great Hall of William Rufus wuz built first -in 1097. Rufus wanted a great Hall, where he -could hold banquets, and not feel crowded, and feel -that he had air enough, and wuzn’t in any danger of -hittin’ his head on the ceilin’, so he built this Hall.</p> - -<p>It wuz partly burnt up once, but it has been repaired, -so that it is a room now good enough for -anybody, and big enough so’s the World and his -wife and children could eat dinner here if they -wanted to, or so it seemed.</p> - -<p>It is three hundred feet long, seventy feet wide, -and ninety feet high. The ruff overhead is carved -into many beautiful forms, and is one of the largest -in the world that has no columns or supports from -below.</p> - -<p>Glorious<span class="pagenum" id="Page_410">[Pg 410]</span> seens have been enacted in this Hall, as -well as dretful ones. After the Hall wuz built -over and beautified by Richard II., the very first -public meetin’ held in this Hall wuz to take away -his crown and septer and send him to prison.</p> - -<p>Poor thing! after all he’d went through buildin’ -it. I should thought them old timbers and jices -would have creaked and groaned to have seen it go -on.</p> - -<p>I know well how I should have felt after we got -our house altered over, and I’d jest got the parlor -papered and carpeted and new curtains up, if I’d -had to be dragged off and shet up, and let Sister -Bobbett or Sister Henzy move in and take the -comfort of it.</p> - -<p>And I spoze Richard had feelin’s as well as myself, -and the splendor of my parlor would mad me -all the more to leave it, even if it shed a glory over -the seen.</p> - -<p>Charles I. wuz tried in Westminster Hall and -condemned to death, and a few years later Oliver -Cromwell was inaugerated in it Lord Protector of -England.</p> - -<p>He sot in that Royal Chair, which wuz took out -of Westminster Abbey for the first and last time. -The chair never groaned or took on any as I’ve -ever hearn on, but I should have thought it would, -not for reproof, but for sorrer. For only five -years after that Cromwell died, and wuz buried in<span class="pagenum" id="Page_411">[Pg 411]</span> -Westminster Abbey amongst its royal dead, and then -three years later his body wuz took up and hanged -on Tyburn by command of the king, and his head -wuz displayed on the pinnacles of Westminster -Hall with Bradshaw and Ireton.</p> - -<p>Hangin’ a man who had been dead for three -years, and for doin’ what he thought wuz right!</p> - -<p>Al Faizi wrote quite a lot in his book here. He -looked queer as he meditated on a civilized country -committin’ sech barbarities.</p> - -<p>They laid out to have the skulls remain up there -on them pinnacles for thirty years, and some say -they did, and some say Cromwell’s blew down durin’ -a hard storm, and some of his descendants have -got it to this day, and several of his skulls are in -other places, so we hearn.</p> - -<p>Poor creeter! He seemed to have as many -heads as Columbus had faces. It beats all what -them poor old fourfathers went through.</p> - -<p>In this Hall Charles I. wuz condemned to die, -and also Sir William Wallace, that Josiah and I felt -so well acquainted with, havin’ formed his acquaintance -and loved him through Thomas Jefferson and -“The Scottish Chiefs.”</p> - -<p>And Sir Thomas More, that witty, smart -creeter—philosopher, statesman, and everything else—the -favorite of Henry VIII., and who succeeded<span class="pagenum" id="Page_412">[Pg 412]</span> -Cardinal Wolsey as Lord High Chancellor, but -who lost Henry’s favor in his life, by not approvin’ -of Henry’s stiddy practice of marryin’ wimmen and -then cuttin’ their heads off, and marryin’ another -and another, and so on and so on. Here the poor -creeter had his trial.</p> - -<p>Robert, Earl of Essex, wuz tried here and condemned; -and so wuz Guy Fawkes, and the Earl of -Stafford, and many, many, many others.</p> - -<p>Wall, in the House of Parliament we see Parnell, -the great helper for Irish rights. And it did my -soul good to look on Joseph Arch, who wuz elected -to Parliament as a representative of agricultural -laborers.</p> - -<p>He wuz a plough-boy, and his mother learnt him -to read and write. She wuz a earnest Christian. -Later he become a local preacher in the Methodist -Meetin’-House. Afterwards, meditatin’ on their -wrongs, he organized a union of agricultural laborers, -and finally wuz elected to Parliament. He -wuz sent from that deestrict where the Prince of -Wales lives. And you would have thought that -some richer and more aristocratic man would have -been chose to stand for that place, so nigh to the -British throne.</p> - -<p>But no, a good <span class="pagenum" id="Page_413">[Pg 413]</span>man, a man of the people, wuz -chose. The Prince of Wales never done a thing to -break it up, so they say. He is quite a sensible, -good-hearted creeter, the Prince is. Though, like -the rest of the world, he has his failin’s.</p> - -<p>Here we see Gladstone, that noble creeter. A -man that will be revered and beloved and held dear -to grateful hearts when lots of contemporary emperors -and kings are forgot.</p> - -<p>Yes, indeed!</p> - -<p>The House of Lords is made up of lords temporal -and lords spiritual—twenty-six lords spiritual, -which are the Archbishops of Canterbury and -York, and twenty-four Bishops, Dukes, Earls, -Barons, etc., make up the lords temporal—they -come into their places by the right of their titles, -which fell onto ’em onbeknown to ’em. Here they -set makin’ laws with their hats on.</p> - -<p>Josiah drawed my attention to it, and sez he, -“You’ve always tutored me so about takin’ off my -hat everywhere and in every season. I’ve had sun-strokes -and froze my scalp a number of times in -carryin’ out your orders; but,” sez he, “I’ve made -up my mind, Samantha, as to one thing, and you -can’t change me.”</p> - -<p>I have a deadly fear of his plans, and can’t help -it—in fact, I have reason to, as dire experience has -often showed me the dretful results flowin’ from -’em anon or oftener; so I waited with breathless<span class="pagenum" id="Page_414">[Pg 414]</span> -dread to hear him expound his plan.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I’m bound on it. When I’m elected to -Congress I’m goin’ to wear my hat the hull time I’m -there; I hain’t a-goin’ to take it off only to go to -bed; I calculate to have a good warm head the rest -of my life.” Sez he, “If it’s proper for ’em, in -their high station, it’s proper for me, when I git -there.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp55" id="i_415" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_415.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">When I’m elected to Congress I’m goin’ to wear my hat the -hull time.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I thought a minute, and then sez I, “Wall, I -guess I’m safe in not objectin’ to it.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “You mean by that, that I won’t git -there, but you’ll see, mom. The minute I git home -I’m a-goin’ to organize the farmers. I’ll organize -Ury the first one, and then I’ll organize old Gowdey. -Uncle Sime Bentley I can depend on.” Sez -he, “If Arch and Burt and Macdonald, all on -’em workin’ men, can git into Parliament, what -is to hender Josiah Allen from shinin’ in Congress?”</p> - -<p>Sez I mildly, “Nater broke <i>that</i> up from the -start.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “Do you mean that I can’t git in?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, still more tenderly, “I alluded to shinin’, -Josiah; but,” sez I soothin’ly, for I see that his liniment -begun to darken—sez I, “I won’t say a word -agin your wearin’ your hat under them circumstances.” -Sez I in affectionate axents, “Mebby I’ve -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_416">[Pg 416]</span>been too harsh with you about takin’ it off in cold -weather; mebby I hain’t made allowance as I should -for the weakness of the place exposed; mebby -etiket has ruled me too clost.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “You and etiket has been almost the -death of me time and agin.”</p> - -<p>One thing that is sure to strike the tourist and -beholder with wonder is the extreme smallness of -the House of Commons.</p> - -<p>How five hundred and sixty folks could ever git -into that room is a wonder to me, and the guide -told us that there had been as many as that a-standin’ -there time and agin—a-standin’, of course, for -there wuzn’t no room for ’em to set.</p> - -<p>It struck Josiah, too, though, as usual, our meditations -wuz fur different.</p> - -<p>I methought, “No wonder laws hain’t what they -ort to be, made in sech a tight place, by folks jest -crowded and squoze in together like sardeens in a -box.”</p> - -<p>And Josiah methought out loud, “You thought, -Samantha, that I didn’t allow half room enough in -my new hen-house, and my brood of fowls have as -much agin room accordin’ as these law-makers -do.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,”<span class="pagenum" id="Page_417">[Pg 417]</span> sez I, “there both on ’em kep’ in too clost -quarters to do well.”</p> - -<p>But truly I couldn’t break it up, for time and -Martin didn’t give me no chance.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_418">[Pg 418]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXII">CHAPTER XXII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">SAMANTHA SEES A DOCTOR.</p> - -<p>I hadn’t been in London for more’n a short -time before I wuz attacked with a queer feelin’ -and pain in my back. It seemed to be the worst -on my right shoulder blade. It wuz a pain and a -soreness all together, and the surface indications -pinted to more trouble if I didn’t tend to it.</p> - -<p>Josiah rubbed it with assiduity and camphire, and -in hours of solitude bathed it in anarky.</p> - -<p>But to no purpose—it grew worse and worse, -and I feared it wuz a bile, but didn’t know.</p> - -<p>It kep’ me awake nights, and I spoze it made -me fraxious and restless, for Josiah urged me -warmly to have a young man, who wuz a doctor in -the hotel, look at my back and see what ailed it.</p> - -<p>And I sez, “I hain’t a-goin’ to have that young -man foolin’ round my shoulder blades.” Sez I, -“It would make me feel queer as a dog to think -he wuz a-lookin’ at it through that eyeglass of -hisen.” Sez I, “Neuralgy hain’t to be fooled -with.”</p> - -<p>“I thought<span class="pagenum" id="Page_419">[Pg 419]</span> you said,” sez he, “it wuzn’t neuralgy; -you said it wuz sunthin’ mysteriouser.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, so I do say,” sez I; “it is sunthin’ I -d’no anything about. It is sore as a bile, -and anarky don’t seem to relieve it a mite. If I -had some good lobely and catnip,” sez I, “I believe -I could make a poultice that would relieve -it; but where would I git lobely and catnip here?” -sez I.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he—willin’ creeter always when I -am sick—“Martin and I had made a agreement -to ride to Hyde Park this mornin’, and I shouldn’t -wonder a mite if I could find some lobely and -catnip growin’ there idegenus. I will look for -some, anyway.”</p> - -<p>“Catnip in Hyde Park!” sez I mournfully; “you -might as well look for a angel at a dog fight, or -a saloon in Paradise!”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “if I can’t find any myself, -I’ll ask the policeman if he knows of any little -corner or shady place where I’d be apt to find a few -sprigs for you.” Sez he, “I’d go to Windsor Park -for you in a minute if I thought I could git sunthin’ -to relieve your pain—I’d go to Langly Marish.” -(Marish is marsh writ long.) Josiah thought that -he would spell his old marsh in the beaver medder -“marish,” for style—Jonesville Marish—but I told -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_420">[Pg 420]</span>him that that wuzn’t goin’ to make him any nearer -the royal family, or make him act any more royal. -I guess I broke it up.</p> - -<p>But to resoom—</p> - -<p>Sez I, “It is good of you to think on’t, but I -wouldn’t want to tackle Victoria the first thing for -catnip. I d’no as she has put up any more herbs -than she wants to use herself—her family is big, -and she has frequent calls for catnip, anyway.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I wuzn’t a-layin’ out to tackle Victoria -for it. I wuz a-goin’ to hunt round myself for it -in the park.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “You’d only tire yourself out for nothin’; -you wouldn’t find a sprig. And if you found any, -I wouldn’t want you to pick it without Victoria’s -consent—it would like as not be some she had saved -for the children or grandchildren; no,” sez I, “I -will suffer and be calm,” and I sithed.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “I’m goin’ to be minded in this -matter—I am goin’ to have you see a doctor, and -I hain’t a-goin’ to put it off another day. You -might put it off too long, and then what would the -world be to me? What would life be without -Samantha?”</p> - -<p>His tender tones touched my heart considerable, -and I promised I would see a doctor that very day; -so he went away, quite contented, with Martin.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp41" id="i_421" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_421.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>That little dude doctor, with -his cane and his eyeglass.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Wall, after he had went away, and I wuz left -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_421">[Pg 421]</span> -alone with my promise, I rumineated in deep -thought. And the more I thought on’t, the more -I hated to have that little dude doctor, with his -cane and his eyeglass, a-reconoiterin’ -round my back and a-laughin’ at me, -for all I knew—for I felt instinctively -that he wuz one that would laugh -at a person’s back, and I felt that in -this case I should be the means of -lurin’ him into that wickedness and -deceit.</p> - -<p>He looked conceited and disagreeable -in the extreme, anyway, and I -didn’t put any dependence at all on -his jedgment.</p> - -<p>But then my promise confronted -me; what should I do? But as I -mused I happened to think—besides -this little dandy doctor, with his case -of medicine, a-goin’ to and fro, I had -noticed a tall, dignified, good-lookin’, -middle-aged man a-goin’ up and down the halls -with his case of medicine.</p> - -<p>He usually went up the stairs as we wuz a-goin’ -out—about 10 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span>—and, thinkses I, here is a chance -to keep my promise, and mebby git relief. For it -stood to reason that I had ruther display my right -shoulder blade to a middle-aged, sober man, with<span class="pagenum" id="Page_422">[Pg 422]</span> a -wife and children and grandchildren, and other -things to stiddy him down, than to a little snickerin’, -supercilious young chap, who hadn’t any wife, or children, -or any other trouble.</p> - -<p>So I left my door on a jar, and waited for his -comin’. I got my dress waist so’s I could slip it -off in a minute, and throwed a breakfast shawl -gracefully round my figger, and waited calmly the -result.</p> - -<p>Anon I heard a step approachin’, and I looked -out, and I see that it wuz the young doctor. He had -a posey in his buttonhole and he wuz a-hummin’ a -light tune and a-swingin’ his cane in his right hand, -and I felt more and more relieved to think it wuz -not my fate to tackle him.</p> - -<p>Anon a hall-boy went by slowly, a-bearin’ a -pitcher of ice water; anon a chambermaid, and then -I recognized a messenger’s slow, haltin’ step.</p> - -<p>And then I see the doctor’s benine face, framed -in gray hair and ornamented with whiskers of the -same color, approachin’.</p> - -<p>I folded my breakfast shawl closter around my -form and advanced to the door, and sez I—</p> - -<p>“Can I speak to you for a moment, sir?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “I would<span class="pagenum" id="Page_423">[Pg 423]</span> like to employ you for a few -minutes.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he, a-enterin’ the room willin’ly, as if -it wuz the way of his business, as doctors always -do.</p> - -<p>He looked round the room enquirin’ly as he entered, -and as if mentally in search of sunthin’. And -I spozed mebby it wuz to see if he could see signs -of any other doctor’s medicine or sunthin’. And I -spoke up, and sez I:</p> - -<p>“I have had some trouble with my back lately, -and I want you to look at it and see what is the -matter;” sez I, “I want to know whether it is -neuralgy or a bile.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp66" id="i_424" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_424.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">I have had some trouble with my back lately, and I want you -to look at it.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>He looked dretful surprised—I spozed he wuzn’t -ust to havin’ a complaint so queer and mysterious.</p> - -<p>And I rapidly made my preperations, and presented -my left shoulder blade for his consideration.</p> - -<p>And as I did so, I said anxiously—</p> - -<p>“Is it a bile?”</p> - -<p>I dreaded his answer. Neuralgy I felt I could -face, but a bile seemed dretful if met by me on -foreign shores, far from catnip and a quiet home.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I can’t tell what is the matter; if I were -in your place I would have a doctor.”</p> - -<p>Mekanically, and like sheet lightnin’, I seized the -breakfast shawl and drawed its voluminous folds -about my figger and faced him.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_425">[Pg 425]</span></p> -<p>“Hain’t you a doctor?” sez I.</p> - -<p>“No,” sez he; “I am a piano tuner. I thought -you wanted me to tune an instrument,” sez he.</p> - -<p>I sunk into a chair and waved my hand towards -the door.</p> - -<p>He bowed and vanished.</p> - -<p>And I, a not knowin’ whether to laugh or to cry, -I did both at the same time. I felt meachin’, and -small, and provoked, and shamed, and tickled, and -mad, and everything.</p> - -<p>But anon I thought I must not let this <i>contrarytemps</i> -(French) vanquish me. So I called on all -the common sense I had, and all the rectitude I had, -and I had a real lot of it when I got holt of all -of it.</p> - -<p>For I realized that my motives wuz as pure as -rain water in a new cedar barrel, and so, bein’ -dragged up to the tribunal of my own jedgment, I -could not find myself to blame; so I determined to -keep calm and not let the World or Josiah know -what I had been through.</p> - -<p>For it wuz a hard blow onto both my jedgment -and pride, lookin’ on it with a nateral eye, and I felt -that Josiah and the World would be apt to look at -it through nateral eyes, and not through the rapt -vision of jestice that made me say and say calmly -that Josiah wuz the one to blame; for if he hadn’t<span class="pagenum" id="Page_426">[Pg 426]</span> -extracted a promise from me, this <i>contrarytemps</i> -would not have occurred.</p> - -<p>These large-sized emotions lifted me up quite a -good ways, and so I spoze it made the next notch -up come easier to me. For as I sot there I moralized—I -have been a-relyin’ on mortal ingregients to -help me and a-leanin’ on a pardner’s jedgment.</p> - -<p>Ingregients have failed, pardner’s jedgment has -proved futile—futiler it did seem to me than anything -ever had before sence the world begun, as -futile as I have found ’em anon and oftener.</p> - -<p>So sez I to myself, “What if I should branch -out and try the faith cure—turn aside from doctors -and pardners, reeds that have broke under my weak -grasp?”</p> - -<p>I will! I will!</p> - -<p>So I at once made my preperations for faith cure. -I het some Pond’s Extract in a little cup on the -gas—I had brung a little contrivance from home that -fitted the burner.</p> - -<p>I het that extract as hot as I could bear it, and -bathed that shoulder blade in the soothin’ mixture; -I then wet a cloth in anarky, and rubbed it for a -quarter of a hour by the clock; I then put on a -strong poreus plaster I had by me, made from healin’ -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_427">[Pg 427]</span>herbs; and then I het some more Pond’s Extract, -and put in some tincture of wormwood—I had a -little in a bottle—and I wet a woollen cloth in it -and laid it over the blade. I then filled my hot-water -bag with water and laid myself down on -the bed, with the warm, soothin’ rubber bag pressed -clost to the achin’ blade.</p> - -<p>And then, havin’ completed these simple preleminaries, -I leaned on the Faith Cure—I leaned -heavy, and anon I felt that I had hit on the right -plan. The pain grew lighter and lighter, my thoughts -of the <i>contrarytemps</i> grew more peaceful and as if -I could bear it. I felt that I could forgive Josiah, -and then I knew nothin’ further for a long time.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp86" id="i_427" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_427.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Samantha’s Faith Cure.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Anon I seemed to be back in Jonesville; Philury -and I wuz down in our back paster a-pickin’ -rossberrys. The sun shone down warm as I stooped -over the pink, laden boughs.</p> - -<p>The crick under the hill tinkled melogiously—somebody -wuz tunin’ it, I -thought. It seemed to be playin’ -melogious cords I had never -hearn before. A bird flew out -of the deep, green depths of -Balcom’s woods; it flew up in -front of me and lighted on -my forward, and said—</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_428">[Pg 428]</span></p> -<p>“How do you feel, Samantha? Are you worse?”</p> - -<p>I had layed there for five hours by the clock, and -it wuz my own pardner’s hand on my forward that -rousted me up.</p> - -<p>“No,” sez I, “Josiah; I am much better than I -wuz.”</p> - -<p>“Did you git the doctor?” sez he.</p> - -<p>That wuz a tender subject to me, but I wuz able -to meet it. I sez—</p> - -<p>“I thought I would try the Faith Cure, Josiah, -and,” sez I, “I truly feel like a new creeter—the -pain has almost all gone.” And it had, and from -that minute I gained on it fast.</p> - -<p>At bedtime I tried the Faith Cure agin, after -goin’ through with the same simple preleminaries I -had went through, and the next mornin’ the cure -wuz almost complete, which made the trials that -begun as soon as I opened my eyes some easier to -bear.</p> - -<p>I heard my pardner’s voice the first thing, out in -the hall, through the half open door. I hearn him -a-sayin’—</p> - -<p>“Dum it all, don’t you never have day here? Is -it always night?”</p> - -<p>“It is day now,” sez the voice of a agitated -chambermaid; “it is between 8 and 9 o’clock.”</p> - -<p>“Pretty day!” sez Josiah. Sez he, “Look out -of the winder and see if you can see daylight; a -pretty day this is—dark as a stack of black<span class="pagenum" id="Page_429">[Pg 429]</span> cats, -and darker, for you could see the cats if they -wuz a inch from your nose.” Sez he, “We have -been here three days, and I hain’t seen daylight -yet.”</p> - -<p>He had a air of blamin’ the girl, and I interfered -and called him in; but the girl wuz waywised, and -she said, “It is very unusual weather, sir—very unusual. -We have never had such a fog before.”</p> - -<p>They always say that, from Chicago and London -to Egypt—they “never had it before.”</p> - -<p>It always happens dretful onfortunate jest whilst -you are there.</p> - -<p>Josiah wuz jest preparin’ to blame the girl agin, -I dare presoom to say, when I hearn another voice -on the seen.</p> - -<p>It wuz the voice of a Englishman that Josiah -had got some acquainted with, and who had disputed -warm with him about their two different countries, -each one on ’em a-praisin’ up his own native land -to the skies.</p> - -<p>And Josiah made a derisive remark to him -right there in that untoward place about his “dum -climate.”</p> - -<p>I wuz mortified, but couldn’t walk out and interfere, -not bein’ dressed.</p> - -<p>After passin’ a number<span class="pagenum" id="Page_430">[Pg 430]</span> of sentences back and -forth, I hearn the Englishman say—</p> - -<p>“This is a great country, sir—the sun never sets -on it.”</p> - -<p>And Josiah sez in a real mean axent—</p> - -<p>“Good reason for that! the sun never rises on’t—it -can’t go down where it hain’t riz! I hain’t -seen a ray of sunshine sence I come to England!”</p> - -<p>Thinkses I, “Dressed or ondressed, I’ve got to -interfere,” and I hollered out agin, “Josiah—Josiah -Allen!” And he see in my axent a need of -haste.</p> - -<p>And he come into the room, and I sez—</p> - -<p>“Don’t run down a man’s country on a empty -stumick, when it is as dark as pitch.”</p> - -<p>And he sez, “Then I can’t run it at all.” His -axent wuz pitiful.</p> - -<p>And it wuz indeed a fearful time.</p> - -<p>The winder presented a black, murky appearance, -the gas wuz lit in the house and outside, -and away from the light the streets wuz as dark -as a black broadcloth pocket in a blind man’s over-coat.</p> - -<p>We felt gloomy at the breakfast-table, but Martin -sed we must be gittin’ round some. So we -concluded to go to St. Paul’s Cathedral. So after -awhile we ventered to sally out. We wuz about -two hours a-goin’ a distance that ort to took us -about fifteen minutes—a-movin’ on through the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_431">[Pg 431]</span> -dense blackness, and not knowin’ what we wuz -a-comin’ up aginst, or who, or when, or what.</p> - -<p>It wuz a fearful time, very.</p> - -<p>We went in two handsomes (though their handsomeness -didn’t do us any good, for we couldn’t -see a speck on’t). Josiah and I and Al Faizi -went in one, and Martin and Alice and Adrian in -the other. A strange and mysterious journey as -I ever took, a-hearin’ anon or oftener a voice -up on top of our vehicle a-shoutin’ out replies to -the frenzied cries of cabmen on every side on him, -and a not knowin’ who or what we wuz a-goin’ to -run into, or be run in by. And the faint glow of -the street lights a-shinin’ through the black mists -like suns that wuz a-bein’ darkened, as the Skripters -tell on.</p> - -<p>It wuz a fearful seen; my Josiah wuz well-nigh -prostrated by it, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“If I ever git where the sun shines in the daytime -agin, I’ll stay there.”</p> - -<p>“So will I!” sez I, and I felt it, Heaven knows! -I wuz fearful agitated.</p> - -<p>Sez Josiah, as a loud, skairful cry from the top -of our handsome wuz answered from others all -round us—</p> - -<p>“Jest think<span class="pagenum" id="Page_432">[Pg 432]</span> on’t, Samantha, how bright and -pleasant it is this minute in our back yard to Jonesville; -how plain you could see the side of the -barn; how the sun is a-shinin’ down on the smoke-house, -and hen-park, and leech barrel.</p> - -<p>“Why did we ever leave them seens!” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Why, indeed!” sez I.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “Ury is mebby at this minute goin’ in to -the house, happy creeter!” Sez he, “A-walkin’ -out a-seein’ every step he takes; and Philury -a-standin’ in the back door a-watchin’ him, and -a-lookin’ at the Loontown hills milds off, and the -Jonesville steeple.</p> - -<p>“And we a-gropin’ along in perfect blackness -at 12 <span class="allsmcap">M.</span>, and can’t see our noses. Why,” sez he -bitterly, “my nose is a perfect stranger to me; it -might be changed to a Roman or a Greecy one, -and I not know it.”</p> - -<p>“You’d feel the change,” sez I.</p> - -<p>“I d’no whether I would or not. I feel all lost -and by the side of myself,” sez he; “three more -days of these carryin’s on would make my brain -tottle.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, it couldn’t tottle fur,” sez I. I said it -to comfort him, but it wuzn’t took so—no, fur -from it.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_433">[Pg 433]</span></p><h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXIII">CHAPTER XXIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">ST. PAUL’S AND THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON.</p> - -<p>Wall, after a seen of almost inexpressible -wretchedness we reached St. Paul’s Cathedral.</p> - -<p>Josiah a-gittin’ it into his head that it wuz fashionable -to read up about places of interest, had -flooded his brain almost beyend its strength to bear -about the Cathedral. And that information oozed -and drizzled out of the instersises of his brain all -the time we wuz there. As for me, when we entered -the great central western door I wuz almost -lost and by the side of myself as I ketched sight of -the vast interior.</p> - -<p>As I looked down the immense, soft gray yeller -depths of distance, I felt almost as though I wuz -lookin’ down some of Nater’s isles, with shadders of -blue mist a-lurkin’ in the corners.</p> - -<p>After my senses come back gradual I could pay -some attention to the rich, dark carvin’, the crimson -cushions, the big organ towerin’ up, etc., etc. I felt -lifted up considerable by the grandeur of the -spectacle.</p> - -<p>But Josiah wanted to show off.</p> - -<p>Sez he, a-wavin’ his hand down<span class="pagenum" id="Page_434">[Pg 434]</span> the long aisle—</p> - -<p>“There is the place for knaves! See, Samantha, -the beautiful arrangement—they’re set apart from -good folks. It sez the ‘knave runs down that way.’ -He is made to run so’s to separate him still more -from Christians that go slow.”</p> - -<p>“Where did you git that information, Josiah -Allen?” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Right here,” sez he, and he took out his guide-book -and pinted to the words—</p> - -<p>“The long nave runs down through the centre.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “How do you spell your vile person, Josiah?”</p> - -<p>“N-a-v-e, nave,” sez he—“the easiest way.”</p> - -<p>I groaned, and sez I, “I would shet up that book, -Josiah Allen, and go back to Webster’s old spellin’-book.”</p> - -<p>He acted real pudgiky.</p> - -<p>But Alice wanted to go into the North Chapel, -where the short service for business men wuz a-goin’ -on, it bein’ almost noon when we got there. It wuz -a impressive sight to see these busy men takin’ a -breathin’ space from the hard labors of the day to -give thought to the Better Country and the best -way to git there.</p> - -<p>A beautiful sculptured head of the Christ looked -down on these busy, careworn men, as if He wuz -sorry for ’em and wanted to give ’em a breath of -peace and love to go with ’em through the hot,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_435">[Pg 435]</span> -feverish toils of the rest of the day.</p> - -<p>After lookin’ up into the ineffible beauty and love -of that face, it didn’t seem as if those grocers could -put so much sand into their sugar and pepper, or the -merchants pay so little to the poor wimmen who -make the garments they sell.</p> - -<p>But I d’no.</p> - -<p>Wall, the chapel on the south side wuz meant to -be a place to administer jestice at different times, -affectin’ meetin’-housen and sech—what they call a -Consistery Court.</p> - -<p>And here Josiah agin tried to explain things -to me.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “This is called a Consistery Court—here -is where they try to be consistent when they attend -to affairs of the meetin’-house.”</p> - -<p>And sez I in a dry axent, about as dry as a corn-cob, -sez I, “It’s a pity they don’t have sech a court -in American meetin’-housen.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “They’re needed there,” and my mind -roamed over the pressin’ need of consistency in sech -cases as Dr. Briggs, Parkhurst, Beecher, Heber -Newton, Felix Adler, Satolli, etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>“And even in Jonesville,” I sez to myself, “is it -not possible to even now have one built in the precincts -of the Jonesville meetin’-house, where the -members could go in half a day or so a week<span class="pagenum" id="Page_436">[Pg 436]</span> -and try to be consistent?”</p> - -<p>Thinkses I, If they did honestly try to live up -to the buildin’ they wuz in, and be consistent, -there wouldn’t be so much light talk aginst religion -as there is now, and more young folks brung -into the church.</p> - -<p>Howsumever, whether Josiah got it right or not, -one thing I do know, right in the midst of this -court is a elaborate monument to the Duke of -Wellington, that almost fills it up, so jestice is fairly -scrunched up and squoze for want of room.</p> - -<p>That noble old Duke wouldn’t wanted it so. But -how little can we tell what people will do with -our memories when we have left ’em! But probble -most of us won’t have no sech immense memorial -riz up to us after we have passed away.</p> - -<p>But my reflections wuz agin cut short, for Josiah -wanted to agin show off. Sez he, “The man that -that wuz riz up to wuz made of iron mostly—lost -his legs and arms, I spoze, and had iron ones made -to replace ’em.”</p> - -<p>“Iron legs!” sez I; “how could he git round?”</p> - -<p>“By main strength.” Sez he, “He wuz a powerful -man; he wuz called the ‘Iron Duke.’”</p> - -<p>I gin him a pityin’ glance, but strangers wuz -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_437">[Pg 437]</span>by, and I wouldn’t humiliate him by disputin’ him. -I merely sez, “If I wuz in your place I would -keep still for the rest of the day, Josiah Allen.”</p> - -<p>But Adrian, who took it all in good part, and -with immense interest, sez—</p> - -<p>“How funny it must be to shake hands with -him, but how it would hurt to have him strike -you over the ear!”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Adrian, you keep with Alice and me.” -Sez I, “We’re a-goin’ to look at General Gordon’s -statute.”</p> - -<p>This noble life and noble death are kep’ in -memory by a beautiful statute, recumbient and -a-layin’ down. The face, they say, is a good likeness. -And as I looked at it, the thought of that -noble and manly creeter almost brung tears to my -eyes.</p> - -<p>Wall, we proceeded on eastward to the dome. -Here is the pulpit and the place where the bigger -part of the congregation sit.</p> - -<p>Lookin’ up, we see glitterin’ spaces filled with -beautiful mosiacs, and up there are the benine -figgers of the Evangelists, and the four great -Prophets—Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and Daniel.</p> - -<p>Agin that thought of what would be done with -our memories hanted me. They wandered about -in goats’ skins here—afflicted, persecuted; did they -think they would ever be throned in sech gorgeous -places? No, indeed.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_438">[Pg 438]</span></p> - -<p>Above Daniel, Isaiah, etc., is the whisperin’ gallery, -where the lowest whisper, clost to the wall, -goes all round the entire distance—a sight, hain’t it?</p> - -<p>And way up in the dome we see paintin’s of the -life of St. Paul and his deeds.</p> - -<p>Wall, down on the floor to the south are immense -statutes to Lord Nelson and Cornwallis. Good -creeters, both on ’em, I believe, though mistook in -jedgment. And a great monument to Major-General -Dundas. There wuz lots of monuments to -other eminent men. Most of the statutes, as is -nateral, as is done in our own country, wuz mostly -riz up to men who had been famous for fightin’—them -who had been successful in killin’ off thousands -and thousands of men, leavin’ trails of agony and -blood behind ’em, clouds of black gloom, under -which widders and orphans groped, seekin’ for -bread, and fallin’ down hopeless in the quest.</p> - -<p>Wall, it’s nateral; I couldn’t say a word—America -duz it.</p> - -<p>I also see, as in America, the skurcity of female -statutes. We see the absolute dearth on ’em. Why, -if a inhabitant of Mars should light down there -some day and take a fancy to go through the -cathedral, he wouldn’t have a idee that there wuz -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_439">[Pg 439]</span> -ever sech a thing as a woman in the world. He -would go back to Jupiter and say: “One peculiarity -of the planet Earth wuz, there wuz no wimmen -there—only a race of men.”</p> - -<p>And if they questioned him too clost how they -wuz born, he would say that most probble they -growed jest like trees.</p> - -<p>And then the old Mars would gather round him -and congratulate themselves on bein’ on a planet -where equal jestice wuz awarded to men and wimmen -both, and where there wuz no more war.</p> - -<p>The red lights on the planet don’t mean war, I -don’t believe; it means the rosy glow of the strange -foliage that the Mars gather for their children, and -the Pars, too, for all I know.</p> - -<p>But I am indeed a-eppisodin’.</p> - -<p>But a few centuries from now let that same -visitor come down and look into our great cathedrals, -on both sides of the Atlantic, and he will see -statutes to wimmen risin’ up jest the same as to -men. Under the benine faces of some on ’em he -will read—</p> - -<p>“There is no more war, for the former things -have passed away.”</p> - -<p>The former things wuz what made war—injestice, -intemperance, brutality, licenses for prostitution, -drunkenness, and infamy, etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_440">[Pg 440]</span></p> - -<p>But I am a-eppisodin’ too fur, too fur.</p> - -<p>The stained-glass winders we see on every side -wuz beautiful in the extreme. But if you’ll believe -it, this meetin’-house hain’t finished yet. Seein’ -there has been a meetin’-house here for thirteen -hundred years or so, you’d a-thought they’d ort to -got it finished; but, then, they’ve been burnt out -several times.</p> - -<p>I don’t want to brag over ’em, I didn’t feel like -it at the time, though I couldn’t help a-thinkin’ -that we built the Jonesville meetin’-house in three -months. But, then, this one is bigger and has more -work on it.</p> - -<p>Though the steeple on our meetin’-house is <i>very</i> -much admired.</p> - -<p>Wall, we went down into the crypt. It is called -one of the finest in Europe. It is the same size as -the cathedral.</p> - -<p>Here are some more warriors buried—Lord Nelson, -the Duke of Wellington, etc. But to give -credit to those who got up the buryin’-ground, there -are some ministers buried there—sech as Dr. Liddon, -Dean Milman, and eminent painters, sculpters, etc.</p> - -<p>Here lies the great architect of the cathedral, Sir -Christopher Wren.</p> - -<p>Josiah read the tablet on his grave, and then went -to explainin’ it to us.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “It tells the date<span class="pagenum" id="Page_441">[Pg 441]</span> of his birth and his -death, and then it sez sunthin’ about spice—allspice, -I guess. Christopher wuz probble fond of it.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, for I knowed the words by heart—</p> - -<p>“Reader, if you ask where is his monument, look -about you.”</p> - -<p>Sez Josiah, “You’re wrong, Samantha. There’s -the word spice all writ out.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “It’s a dead language, Josiah—I’ve translated -it. And,” sez I, “if you felt as I did a-lookin’ -round on his matchless monument, sech as no man -ever had before, you wouldn’t talk about allspice.”</p> - -<p>He acted real huffy, and moved on.</p> - -<p>Here are many monuments to illustrious people -who are buried somewhere else.</p> - -<p>Down here in the east end is a chapel where they -have early service every week day.</p> - -<p>In the west end is kept the funeral car on which -the body of the Duke of Wellington wuz carried to -the grave—</p> - -<p>“To the sound of the people’s lamentation.”</p> - -<p>It is a handsome structer of gun metal. One -gun took at each of the Duke’s victories bein’ -melted to make it. Twelve horses wuz needed to -draw this car—it broke through the pavement in -many places.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_442">[Pg 442]</span></p> -<p>As I wuz a-explainin’ this to Alice, I hearn Josiah -say to Adrian:</p> - -<p>“On account of his legs and arms bein’ so heavey, -I spoze, and his bein’ so great.”</p> - -<p>And then I had to explain -to that child agin -that his greatness wuz -not his heft by the steelyards, -nor his bein’ called -iron wuzn’t because he -wuz made of cast iron.</p> - -<p>I guess Adrian understood -it—I guess he did. -But Josiah Allen wuz a -drawback to correct information—indeed, he -wuz.</p> - -<p>For as we wended on -I hearn him explain how -this cathedral wuz sot -on fire in 1590 by a -woman called Anne Domono.</p> - -<p>Sez Adrian, “She was a bad woman, wasn’t she?”</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp55" id="i_442" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_442.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“Yes,” sez Josiah, “old Domono probble had his -hands full with her.”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“Yes,” sez Josiah with a deep sithe, “old Domono -probble had his hands full with her—she wuz a -fiery creeter.”</p> - -<p>But here I interfered<span class="pagenum" id="Page_443">[Pg 443]</span> and explained it all out to -Adrian, much as I hated to go agin my pardner’s -words.</p> - -<p>Strange doin’s has been done in this old meetin’-house -durin’ the long centuries that it has stood here. -It almost made my brain reel to think on ’em.</p> - -<p>Councils of the church wuz held here, the Bishop -of Exeter sought refuge here from a mob—wuz proclaimed -a traitor and beheaded. Here Wyckliffe -wuz tried for his religious opinions. Here popes -sent out their legates. Here kings held their councils, -and here men and wimmen sold their goods. -And some with stuns and arrers killed the pigeons -who made their nests in the ornaments of the walls. -Here, too, they played ball and other games. Queer -doin’s for meetin’-housen, but it wuz true. But -what would the world say if my Josiah and Deacon -Bobbett should take to playin’ ball in the Jonesville -meetin’-house, or Sister Gowdy and I should play -tag round the pulpit? Why, how foreign nations -would be all rousted up and sneer at us!</p> - -<p>Here the leaders in the War of the Roses acted -and carried on. Here Richard, Duke of York, -took a solemn oath to uphold Henry VI., and then -tried his best to shake him off the throne—lyin’ and -actin’ in a meetin’-house. Here the dead body of -Henry lay in state.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_444">[Pg 444]</span></p> -<p>After the Reformation had begun it wuz desecrated -by the very meanest kind of doin’s. All -kinds of business wuz carried on, all kinds of amusements. -Busybodys and gossips made it their resort, -and the Holy Evelyn said—</p> - -<p>“It was made a stable of horses and a den of -thieves.”</p> - -<p>Then, if you’ll believe it, some of the reformers, -or them who called themselves sech (queer creeters, -I guess), stole the beautiful altar clothes, communion -plate, candleabra, etc.—jest carried ’em off under -the mantilly of religion they’d put on.</p> - -<p>Curous! curous! but, then, that old mantilly -covers up lots of stolen things to-day, and meanness -of all sorts.</p> - -<p>After this the grand old meetin’-house wuz completely -burnt down. I should thought it would -have expected lightnin’ to strike it, or sunthin’. -Anyway, it all burnt down to ashes. The present -buildin’ hain’t been misused in that way—the services -are carried on decently and in order.</p> - -<p>Wall, we hung round there for more’n a half -day. Josiah had took the precaution to eat a hearty -lunch before we sot out, so he remained considerable -quiet till the nawin’s of hunger overtook him -agin. And we left at sunset.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_445">[Pg 445]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXIV">CHAPTER XXIV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">“THE WIDDER ALBERT.”</p> - -<p>I’d told Martin when we’d first come to London -that I must see the Widder Albert whilst I wuz -there.</p> - -<p>A few days had run by, and I sez to Martin—“Like -as not Victoria will be a-wonderin’ why I -hain’t been to her house.”</p> - -<p>Of course when I first arrove I had sent her -word to once, and asked her in a friendly way to -come and see us jest as quick as she could, knowin’ -that it wuz etiket for me to do so, and it wuz -nothin’ but manners for her to make the first -visit.</p> - -<p>And a-takin’ it right to home, that if she had -come over to Jonesville, and wuz a-stoppin’ to the -tarvern there, it would be my place to make the -first call. I hain’t over-peticular in sech matters, -but still I set quite a store by etiket, after all, and -havin’ made the overtoor and sent the word that I -wuz here, I didn’t want to demean myself by actin’ -too over-anxious to make her acquaintance, though -I did in my heart want to neighbor with her, thinkin’ -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_446">[Pg 446]</span>quite a lot of her as a woman who had rained -long and rained well.</p> - -<p>It wuz Martin that I sent the word by. He argued -quite a spell about the onproperness of my sendin’ -sech word to a Queen. But I argued back so -fluent about the dissapintment it would be to her if -she didn’t know I wuz here, and my onwillin’ness -to hurt her feelin’s by my not makin’ myself known -to her, that I spoze he wuz convinced, for he sez—</p> - -<p>“Leave it right in my hands; don’t say a word -to anybody else on the subject, and I will tend to -it in the right way.”</p> - -<p>So I gin my promise, and as he hurried right -out of the room, I spoze he tended to it imegiately -and to once. And I sot in my room the rest of -that day in my best waist and my shiniest collar -and cuffs, expectin’ some that she would be to see -me before night.</p> - -<p>And the next time I went out sight-seein’, -though I didn’t say a word about her, accordin’ to -my promise, yet I expected to go back and see the -benine face, mebby a-lookin’ over the bannisters -a-waitin’ for me.</p> - -<p>I didn’t spoze she would have her crown on at -this time—no, I expected to see that good, likely -face surrounded by a widder’s bunnet, or mebby a -crape veil throwed on kinder careless like.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_447">[Pg 447]</span></p> -<p>I knew we should be very congenial. We both -wished so well to our own sect—we wuz both so -attached to our pardners; and though hern had -passed on and mine wuz still with me, still I knew -we had so many affectin’ incidents of our early days -of our wedded love, before our perfectly adorin’ -affection for Albert and Josiah wuz toned down by -time and walkin’ round in stockin’ feet, and -throwin’ crowns and bootjacks down in cross and -fraxious hours, when meals wuz delayed, or the -nations riz up and kicked, or the geese got into the -garden, or slackness about kindlin’ wood, or the -shortness of a septer, or etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>Yes, I spozed we both had had our domestic -trials. I spozed that Albert had his ways jest as -Josiah has. Every pardner has ’em—they’re fraxious, -touchy at times, over-good at others, and have -mysterious ways. Men are dretful mysterious creeters -at times—dretful.</p> - -<p>Yes, I felt that we could find perfect volumes -to talk over on this subject, for if ever there wuz -two wimmen devoted to their pardners with a devotion -pure and cast iron, them two wimmen wuz -Samantha and Victoria.</p> - -<p>And then, too, we wuz both Mas. I spozed -she would tell me the good pints of Albert Edward, -and I laid out to tell her of the oncommon -smartness of Thomas Jefferson. And the more -she would enlarge on Bertie, the more I would<span class="pagenum" id="Page_448">[Pg 448]</span> -spread myself on Tommy.</p> - -<p>And then the girls; how she would tell me about -Louise and Beatrice, and how I would tell her -about Tirzah Ann—how we’d praise ’em up and -compare notes about ’em.</p> - -<p>I presoom her boys and girls didn’t always come -up to her idees of what girls and boys should do, -and should not do. And if she told me in confidence -anything of this sort, I wuz a-layin’ out to -confide in her about Tirzah Ann, and how her -efforts to be genteel wore on me, and how she -would love to flirt if it wuzn’t for religion and a lack -of material. And if she made any confidences to me -about Bertie—anything relatin’ to the fair sex, and -playin’ games, etc., I wuz a-goin’ to tell her, as -much as I love Thomas Jefferson, I thought he did -play checkers too much; and sence he wuz riz up -so as a lawyer, the wimmen jest made fools of -themselves and him, too, a-follerin’ him up and -a-makin’ of him; but, then, Maggie didn’t care a cent -about it, and that he wuz perfectly devoted to his -wife and children, jest as her boy wuz.</p> - -<p>I wuz a-goin’ to say that I would never mention -these things to a single soul but her, anyway, but -I knew she would keep it, for she wuz jest like me—if -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_449">[Pg 449]</span> -her boy didn’t please her, she went right to -him with it, and that ended it. She stood up for -him to his back, jest as I stood up for Thomas J.</p> - -<p>Yes, I spozed we should take solid comfort a-confidin’ -in each other, and mebby a-givin’ each other -hints that would be helpful in the futer.</p> - -<p>And then we wuz both grandmas. How happy -we should be a-talkin’ over the oncommon excellencies -of our grandchildren!</p> - -<p>For though we are both too sensible to act foolish -in sech matters and be partial, yet we both -knew there never wuz and probble never would be -sech grandchildren as ourn wuz.</p> - -<p>And then I had some very valuable receipts I laid -out to gin her in cases of croup and colic, sech as -young people don’t pay much attention to, but -which I knew would jest suit her, and which might -come handy for her grandchildren or great-grandchildren. -I laid out to write ’em off for her. One -or two of ’em wuz in poetry—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“A handful of catnip steeped with care,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">With a little lobelia throwed in there,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Mixed with some honey more or less,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Will mitigate the croup’s distress.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And this—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Some mustard seed,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Some onion raw,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Applied to chests—</div> - <div class="verse indent0"><span class="pagenum" id="Page_450">[Pg 450]</span>I never saw</div> - <div class="verse indent0">A thing more strong</div> - <div class="verse indent0">To draw, to draw.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>The grammar wuzn’t quite what I would have liked -it to be in this last verse of poetry, but I made it in -a time of pain, and I knew that when croup and colic -wuz round, she nor I wuzn’t a-goin’ to stand on a -verb more or less.</p> - -<p>And then I had another one:</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Some spignut roots</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Steeped on the fire</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Is always good</div> - <div class="verse indent0">For my Josiah.</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And a little Balm</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Of Gilead flowers</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Is good to calm</div> - <div class="verse indent0">In fraxious hours.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>I laid out to gin her all these receipts, and offer -to send her the ingregients for makin’ the mixtures.</p> - -<p>Of course her pardner had passed away, but the -world is full of men and wimmen, and sickness and -fraxiousness are rampant, and good receipts like -these don’t grow on every gooseberry bush.</p> - -<p>And then, I had a lot of other receipts I thought -she’d like. And I wuz a-goin’ to ask her for her -receipt for makin’ milk emptin’s bread; somehow, -mine had seemed to run out and not be so good as -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_451">[Pg 451]</span>usual. And I had a receipt for corn bread that wuz -perfectly beautiful—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Two measures of meal and one of flour,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Two of sweet milk and one of sour,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And a little soda and molasses.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Besides the literary treat of this poem, the excellence -of the bread wuz fenominal.</p> - -<p>And then, how we both would love to talk about -the interests of the world at large! I wuz a-goin’ to -compliment her by sayin’ that though the sun never -set on her property, while it sot every day on ourn, -yet she couldn’t welcome the blazin’ sun of Righteousness -and Enlightenment any more gladly than -I did. And how first-rate I thought some of her -moves had been, and how highly glad and tickled -I’d been over ’em; and then I wuz layin’ out to draw -her attention to some tangles in the mane and tail -of the old Lion of England, a-tellin’ her at the -same time that I realized only too well the dirt and -onevenness in the feathers of our American Eagle.</p> - -<p>I wuz a-goin’ to talk it over with her about the -opium trade, and the dretful intemperance and horrible -cuttin’s up and actin’s, and the dretful crimes -bein’ perpretated way out in Injy.</p> - -<p>Dretful thing, indeed, takin’ a woman and ruinin’ -her body and soul for time and eternity, and then -the goverment a-drawin’ money out of this eternal -shame and ruin. I spozed we should talk a sight<span class="pagenum" id="Page_452">[Pg 452]</span> -about that and draw lots of morals from it, too—draw -’em a good ways. And the horrible doin’s in -Armenia—I thought more’n as likely as not we -should both shed tears over it.</p> - -<p>But, as I say, time had went on, and she hadn’t -come to see me yet. I asked Martin anxiously what -he spozed wuz the reason, and he gin me various -and conflictin’ answers.</p> - -<p>Once he sed she wuz sick a-bed; and the next -hour, in answer to my anxious inquiry, he told me she -had gone on a visit to a fur country. And when I reminded -him of the descripency in his statements, he -come right out and sed she’d broke her legs—both -on ’em.</p> - -<p>“But,” sez he, “don’t make it public—it’s a State -secret.”</p> - -<p>Wall, then I worried considerable about her, and -sed I ort to go and see her, and carry her some -Tincture of Wormwood.</p> - -<p>And then Martin sed she wuz entirely well and -comfortable and happy, but couldn’t walk.</p> - -<p>But I sez, “She might send me word.”</p> - -<p>“She did,” sez he; “she tells you that the next -time you visit England she hopes to see you.”</p> - -<p>“The next time!” sez I—“there won’t be no next -time. If I ever git acrost the ocean agin I shall stay -there.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_453">[Pg 453]</span></p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez my Josiah; “if we ever see home agin -we shall probble never step our feet outside the -house agin, or the back door-yard.”</p> - -<p>But I sez, “I shall probble walk round some in -the front yard, and mebby visit the children.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “Not for years, if ever.” Sez he, “I want -to set down on our back steps and set there for over -a year without gittin’ up.”</p> - -<p>I felt that along in January he would be willin’ -to move round a little and git into the house, but -that dear man can’t be megum.</p> - -<p>Wall, with deep dissapintment I realized that the -Widder Albert and I wuzn’t a-goin’ to meet. -If she wuz in the state Martin said she wuz, of -course I knew she couldn’t take no comfort a-visitin’, -and I hain’t no hand to go and visit sick folks -if I can’t help ’em.</p> - -<p>And I spoze, as Martin sed, that she had good -hired girls and everything done for her comfort.</p> - -<p>But I worried about her quite a good deal.</p> - -<p>But it wuz a comfort to me to think of what a -big house she had—it wuz big enough to hold plenty -of help, and it must have good air in it—yes, indeed! -The house itself is as big as from our house over to -Deacon Gowdey’s, and I d’no but bigger.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_454">[Pg 454]</span></p> -<p>Martin made a great pint on goin’ to see the -Bank of England. I believe he jest loves to walk -round the outside of buildin’s that has immense -wealth in ’em, if he don’t go inside. He and Josiah -went and wuz gone all the forenoon. I spozed it -would take a week to go through all the rooms. -Why, there is nine different door-yards right inside -the buildin’; they call ’em courts, and the rooms -open into ’em; so you can form a idee of how big -it is. But I didn’t seem to care so much about -goin’, so I stayed to home. I had quite a talk with -Al Faizi about it. He’d been a-huntin’ up facts -and idees, as his way is.</p> - -<p>He didn’t condemn the ways of England at all—he -simply told the facts and left ’em, jest as the -’postles did. He sed he found that in the Bank of -England wuz the greatest wealth heaped up in the -smallest space that the world had ever known sence -the creation. And with the same air of simply -tellin’ a fact, and then leavin’ it, in the New Testament -way, sez he—</p> - -<p>“Almost in the shadow of this building, holding -the world’s wealth, I find the greatest want and -wretchedness and crime existing that I have ever -looked upon, and I believe the worst the world has -ever seen.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp54" id="i_455" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_455.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">Almost in the shadow of the Bank of England, I found the -greatest want and wretchedness.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>He didn’t say that there must be a screw loose -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_455">[Pg 455]</span>somewhere in the great revolvin’ wheel of Humanity -to make sech a state of things possible. He -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_456">[Pg 456]</span>jest writ down sunthin’ in that book of hisen—mebby -it wuz expressions of wonder about our boasted -civilization havin’ accomplished so little in eighteen -hundred years, when the richest place on earth -should have its dark shadder of the greatest want -and crime clost to its side. No; he jest stated the -facts and let us draw our own morals, and as fur as -we wanted to. Martin didn’t notice his remarks, -nor see Al Faizi at all, so fur as I could observe. -He went on a-talkin’ with Josiah about the bank, -and about Rotten Row; he sed he wanted us to -see that, and wanted us to set off to once.</p> - -<p>And I told Alice out to one side, when we wuz -gittin’ ready, that I didn’t know as I wanted her to -go into any sech a nasty place, or Adrian either. I -take good care of the children—yes, indeed I do!</p> - -<p>But we found out when we got there that Rotten -Row wuz a elegant place, fixed off for ridin’ and -drivin’. Beautiful ladies and grand-lookin’ gentlemen, -and if there wuz anything Rotten about ’em, -it wuz on the inside of their phylackricies; the outside -of ’em wuz clean and brilliant.</p> - -<p>Some say that the place where these great folks -congregate is well named, but I don’t believe everything -that I hear.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_457">[Pg 457]</span></p> -<p>Martin enjoyed the seen dretfully, though he sed, -on commentin’ on the ladies ridin’, that none on -’em could come up to an American woman in -grace, and he sed that the best ridin’ that he ever -see wuz by cow-boys on a Dakota ranch.</p> - -<p>Wall, I couldn’t dispute him, never havin’ neighbored -with cow-boys. But let Martin alone for -findin’ out all the attractions of U. S. A. No; -U. S. A. won’t suffer in Martin’s hands, not at all.</p> - -<p>As I sed, Martin and Alice went round quite a -good deal to see her friends—Lords and Ladies -some on ’em; she got acquainted with ’em to school, -when she wuz a-boardin’ with that Miss Ponsions, a -good likely school-teacher she wuz, so fur as I -could make out.</p> - -<p>But owin’ to the Widder Albert enjoyin’ sech -poor health, and not bein’ able to git to see me, I -didn’t seem to want to go round so much. I didn’t -want to go to parties—no, indeed!</p> - -<p>Alice come home from one gin by Lady L——, -and, if you’ll believe it, her pretty dress wuz all -crushed and torn, fairly spilte. Alice sed there -wuz sech a jam she couldn’t breathe hardly.</p> - -<p>And I sez, “Sech doin’s don’t speak well for the -woman of the house—lady or no lady; and,” sez I, -“I’d love to advise her; I’d tell her that when I -give a quiltin’ or a parin’-bee I never invite more’n -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_458">[Pg 458]</span>can git round the quilt and the parin’ machines -handy and without crowdin’.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “I could probble put idees into Lady -L——’s head that would help her all her life in -futer parties.” But I didn’t happen to see her, -poor thing! and so I spoze she’ll keep on in the -old way.</p> - -<p>I have known ’em who lived in the country, fur -back from the delights and advantages of Jonesville—I -have known them creeters, when they come -in on a saw log or on a load of calves to ship, I have -seen ’em look with perfect or at the commotion -and life in the Jonesville street, where, right in front -of the tarvern, I have seen with my own eyes as -many as five teams and two open buggies, besides -walkers on the sidewalk. This sight to ’em, fresh -from country wilds, where one wagon along the -road a day wuz a fair average, wuz as good as a circus -to ’em.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp54" id="i_459" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_459.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Right in front of the tarvern, I have seen with my own eyes as -many as five teams and two open buggies.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>But the Jonesvillians wuz ust to the rush and -bustle of them seven teams, and acted calm and -self-possessed and hauty through it all.</p> - -<p>But I have seen the pride of them very Jonesvillians -took down when they visited New York. -There I have seen ’em stand with or on lower -Broadway, when they see the rush, and jam, and push, -and pull, and I’ve hearn their remarks, full as wonderin’ -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_459">[Pg 459]</span>and as agitated as the backwooders from way -behind Jonesville.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_460">[Pg 460]</span></p> -<p>That makes two ors, as I figger on’t.</p> - -<p>Wall, here is another one jest as big or bigger; -set them New Yorkers, them very Broadwayers, -down in a London street, and you’ll have another -or jest as big to add as the two foregoin’ ones.</p> - -<p>The crowd is jest as much immenser, the roar -jest as much louder, the jam, and push, and pull, and -drive, and yell, and crash, and scramble, and roar, -and rattle jest as much more enormouser.</p> - -<p>Why, imagine the slate stuns down to the Jonesville -creek all springin’ up into men and wimmen, and -horses and wagons, and carriages and drays, etc., etc., -etc., and you may have a faint idee of the countless -number on ’em; and then imagine over all that -seen a deep, black curtain of fog descended down -sudden, and out of that roar the crowds of vehicles -of all kinds, the yells of drivers, and most probble -the yells of skairt-out females a-blendin’ in it—imagine -it if you can; wall, that is a London -street.</p> - -<p>I wuz considerable interested in the bridges of -London that crossed the Thames, and I meditated -every time I crossed one on ’em on Old London -Bridge, and what a seen, what a seen that wuz for -centuries; with houses built on each side on’t, merchants -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_461">[Pg 461]</span>and dealers in everything, and artists and -preachers, for all I know. I know, anyway, one on -’em wuz a good preacher—the immortal Bunyan. -How he must have meditated as he see the throng -surge past him—old and young, beggars and princes, -velvet and rags!</p> - -<p>How he must have thought of the hard journey -to the Celestial City, and what a hard tussle it wuz -to git there!</p> - -<p>Hogarth lived here at one time, and mebby got -the idee of his “Rake’s Progress” from some of the -endless crowd he see go past. Anyway, he probble -see rakes enough, if that wuz all, for they have permeated -every field of life, a-rakin’ up all that is vile, -and leavin’ the flowers and sweet blades of grass as -they raked on.</p> - -<p>Holbein lived here.</p> - -<p>Life on that old bridge must have been a sight to -contemplate, havin’ a good time on it some of -the time, most probble, jest as we do in America -and Jonesville. But in times of highest prosperity -a-knowin’ that under ’em wuz a deep, black current -a-flowin’, jest as we know it in Jonesville, only -the current of Human Life is more mysteriouser -and vague.</p> - -<p>Poor William Wallace had his head stuck up -here—good creeter, it wuz a shame after all he went -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_462">[Pg 462]</span>through: a-losin’ his first wife and a-fightin’ so for -freedom. And Thomas More, and Bolingbroke, -and lots of others—middlin’ good creeters, all on -’em. And then there wuz traitors, Jack Cade, etc., -etc., etc. I d’no but their heads did less trouble -here than when they wuz on their bodies, so fur as -the world wuz concerned, but I spoze it come tough -on ’em, a-seein’ these heads wuz the only one -they had.</p> - -<p>And Martin took us to parks so beautiful and -grand that they took down Martin’s pride considerable, -and us Jonesvillians, whose grassy acre in -front of the meetin’-house had looked spacious to -us, laid out as it wuz with young maples and slippery -ellums—</p> - -<p>But where wuz our pride, and where wuz Martin’s? -Think of four hundred acres all full of -beauty: that is Hyde Park. And Windsor Park, -Queen Victoria’s door-yard, as you may say, has -five hundred acres in it. Jest think on’t.</p> - -<p>And there we’ve called our door-yard big, specially -sence we moved the fence and took in the -old gooseberry patch. I had boasted to neighborin’ -wimmen that it must be nigh upon a quarter -of a acre—but five hundred, the idee!</p> - -<p>Wall, I’m glad I hain’t got to tend to it, and -weed the poseys, and see that the grass is cut. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_463">[Pg 463]</span>But, then, she’s forehanded; she can afford to -hire.</p> - -<p>But, amongst all the parks we went to, Josiah and -I seemed to like the Kew Gardens about as well as -any.</p> - -<p>I had deep emotions, for wuz it not there that -Clive Newcome walked with Ethel? Her sweet -form clost to him, but the dreary sea of Hopeless -Despair a-surgin’ through his heart, a-seemin’ to -wash her milds away from him, and she also, visey -versey.</p> - -<p>Poor young creeters! poor young hearts!</p> - -<p>I seemed to see ’em a-walkin’ before me, with -downcast heads and sad eyes, all up and down -them lovely walks, jest as in Windsor Park I seemed -to see the Merry Wives of Windsor, and poor -old Falstaff a-settin’ out to meet ’em.</p> - -<p>I seemed to look out with my mind’s eye for that -poor, foolish, vain old creeter more’n I did for -Victoria’s clothes, which I might have expected -would be hung out to dry that day—it bein’ a Monday, -and she sech a splendid housekeeper.</p> - -<p>I have said what emotions rousted up in me as I -went through Kew Gardens; as for Josiah, he liked -’em because he could git provisions here of all kinds—good -ones, too, and cheap.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_464">[Pg 464]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXV">CHAPTER XXV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">A VISIT TO THE BRITISH MUSEUM.</p> - -<p>Wall, we went to the British Museum.</p> - -<p>To give any idee of what we see in that museum -would take more time, and foolscap paper, and eyesight, -or wind and ears than I spoze I will ever be -able to command.</p> - -<p>It is seven acres of land full of everything rich -and rare and beautiful from our time back to the -year one, and further, for all I know. The marbles, -engravin’s, picters, coins, manuscripts, curosities—if -I had the wealth of ’em in money—if I could -have the worth of jest one article out of the innumerable -multitude of ’em, I could jest buy out the -hull town of Lyme, and live on the interest of my -money.</p> - -<p>The museum holds everything and more too. -And the library, why, it is most too much to believe -what we see there. Now, I’ve always had a Bible -and a New Testament, and have never gin much -thought whether there wuz any other different ones; -but I see with my own eyes seventeen hundred different -kinds of Bibles.</p> - -<p>And good land! everything<span class="pagenum" id="Page_465">[Pg 465]</span> else accordin’—everything -else a-swingin’ out jest as regardless of cost -and space. The Egyptian Gallery wuz a sight to -see, and statutes and slabs older than the hills. Who -writ them words on ’em? Did the heads ache, and -hearts, jest as they do now? I spoze so.</p> - -<p>Roman, Grecian, Assyrian galleries, galleries of -all sorts, birds and beasts and fishes enough to stock -the world, it seemed to me.</p> - -<p>But most of all the relicks; some on ’em filled -my tired-out brain with or and wonder and admiration.</p> - -<p>Milton’s contract with his publishers for “Paradise -Lost” (he got five pounds down, and wuz goin’ to -git five dollars more when the first edition wuz sold, -and so on).</p> - -<p>They took the advantage on him; you know he -wuz blind, and couldn’t skirmish round and look -into things; so Paradise or not, they got the better -of him.</p> - -<p>And then his widder; why didn’t they try to do as -they ort to by Miss Milton? She sold out root and -branch for eight dollars—the idee! Why, how many -copies have been sold of that book? Enough to -build up a mountain as high as the Catskills.</p> - -<p>8 pounds for ’em—what a shame!</p> - -<p>The publishers are dead, I spoze; yes, I spoze -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_466">[Pg 466]</span>Samuel Symon passed away years ago, but he left -quite a big family, and they all seem to foller the -old gentleman’s plans, and are doin’ first-rate and -layin’ up money real fast.</p> - -<p>And I see Hogarth’s receipts for some of his picters. -And there wuz the very prayer-book used by -Lady Jane Grey on the scaffold.</p> - -<p>“Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place for all -generations,” and “though I walk through the valley -and the shadow of death” I will be with thee. -I wonder if she heard the words when the shadders -lay so dark on her pretty head?</p> - -<p>Then there wuz letters writ in their own hands -from Martin Luther, Oliver Cromwell, Mary -Queen of Scots, Queen Elizabeth, Peter the Great, -Dudley, Leicester, Francis Bacon. And there -wuzn’t a word in Francises letter, so fur as I see, as -to whether he wuz Shakespeare or not, or whether -Shakespeare wuz him.</p> - -<p>I wish I knew how it wuz!</p> - -<p>And there wuz papers and letters from all the -kings and emperors, and George Washington right -amongst ’em—it kinder tickled my pride to see -George there, but he deserved it.</p> - -<p>Then there wuz the old bull that gin Henry the -VIII. the name of Defender of the Faith. What -kind of faith did he act out—the faith that he could -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_467">[Pg 467]</span>marry more wimmen and chop their heads off than -any other old creeter this side of Blue Beard.</p> - -<p>I should have been ashamed if I wuz him. If he -had been a woman a-marryin’ and a-killin’ and -a-marryin’, and etc., etc., etc., they wouldn’t have -stood it half so long—they would have broke it up; -it wouldn’t have been any worse in a female for -anything I know.</p> - -<p>And then there wuz the message from Julius -Cæsar a-sayin’ that he had “Veni, vidi, vici.”</p> - -<p>I spoze Thomas Jefferson would know jest what -that meant. Josiah thought it wuz sunthin’ -about some wimmen—Nancy somebody, but I -d’no—I wouldn’t ask.</p> - -<p>And then there wuz letters from good riz up -creeters, sech as John Knox, Sir Isaac Newton, -Cardinal Wolsey, Cranmer, Erasmus, etc., etc., etc., -etc., etc., etc., and so forth.</p> - -<p>Josiah wuz perfectly beat out when we got home -that night, and so wuz I.</p> - -<p>But we found letters from home, and they -seemed to refresh us and take our minds offen -our four legs and our two dizzy and tired-out -heads.</p> - -<p>Babe, sweet little creeter, she writ that she prayed -for me every night, and for her grandpapa, too. I -wonder if that is one reason why our legs didn’t give -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_468">[Pg 468]</span>out completely that day, as they threatened to time -and agin?</p> - -<p>Thomas J. and Tirzah Ann writ affectionate letters—Thomas -J. a-tellin’ us to be careful and not -overdo, and Tirzah Ann sent a -heart full of love, and a request -to git a yard and a half of lace -with deep pints on’t to trim a -summer waist.</p> - -<p>Ury and Philury wanted to -know when we wuz a-comin’ -home, and whether, with deep -respects, they should take up -the parlor carpet, that seemed -threatened with carpet bugs, and -whether it wuz best to break up -the 8-acre lot.</p> - -<p>Oh, sweet and tender missives, -how near they seemed to bring -the old home to us—drag it -right along over the glassy -bridge of the Atlantic and land -it at our feet!</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin sed he wouldn’t fail to see Madame -Tussaud’s wax figgers. He sed undoubtedly he -would be asked if he’d seen ’em. And Adrian wuz -anxious to go, thinkin’ it wuz sunthin’ like a circus.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_469">[Pg 469]</span></p> -<p>But we found it wuz a sight, a sight to see how -nateral they wuz. Why, some of the figgers almost -breathed, and you can see ’em—some machinery -rigged up inside, I spoze. And then we see kings, -and queens, and princes, and warriors, and everybody -else—we got fairly light-headed a-seein’ ’em -all, and I spoze Josiah got kinder excited and -wrought up, or he wouldn’t have done as he -did.</p> - -<p>There wuz a old man a-holdin’ a programme in -his hand, and every little while he would lift up his -head and look round. He favored Deacon Henzy -quite a good deal, and Josiah sez to me—</p> - -<p>“I believe that is Deacon Henzy’s cousin; you -know he sed he had one here in London. Don’t -you see he has got the real Henzy nose? I believe -I’ll be neighborly and scrape acquaintance with -him.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “he duz favor the Henzys, but,” -sez I, “don’t be too forred; the Henzys are big -feelin’.”</p> - -<p>“Big feelin’!” sez Josiah; “don’t you spoze he -will be glad to see a neighbor of his own blood -relation?” Sez he, “He will be glad to neighbor -with me.”</p> - -<p>I felt dubersome, but he advanced onwards, and -sez he in his most polite axents—</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_470">[Pg 470]</span></p> -<p>“Be you any kin of Bildad Henzy, of Jonesville?”</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp50" id="i_468" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_468.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">Be you any kin of Bildad Henzy, of - Jonesville?</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>The old man never moved, but read away, and -occasionally lifted his head and looked round, and -Josiah spoke agin a little louder—</p> - -<p>“Be you any relative of Bildad Henzy?”</p> - -<p>He never noticed my pardner any more’n as -if he wuz dirt under his feet, and my pardner got -his dander up, and he fairly yelled in the old man’s -ears—</p> - -<p>“Be you a Henzy?” And bein’ mad, he added, -“Dum you! I believe you can hear if you want to.” -And he put his hand on the old man’s shoulder to -draw his attention to him. And for all the world! -if that man wuzn’t wax! Josiah looked meachin’ -for as much as four minutes, and I sez—</p> - -<p>“I told you to look ahead.”</p> - -<p>“You didn’t, nuther,” he snapped out.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “it wuz words to that effect, and -I wouldn’t try to be neighborly agin to-day.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “If I see a man afire I wouldn’t tell him -on’t.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “he would probble find it out himself; -but now,” sez I, “you’d better keep right by -me.”</p> - -<p>Wall, as I said, we see every noted woman from -Queen Victoria back to Eve, I guess; and from the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_471">[Pg 471]</span>Prince of Wales and his wife and children back to -little Cain and Abel—or I presoom Adam’s little -boys wuz there, though I don’t remember of seein’ -’em. But there wuz Knights, Barons, Crusaders, -Kings, and Emperors, all dressed up in royal robes; -the Black Prince, as good a lookin’ young man as I -want to see, and Kings Edward and Richard and -Henry, and Queens Mary and Elizabeth, and Mary, -Queen of Scots, all ready to have her head cut off; -and her rosary, on which she had told her prayers -those dretful days, slipped through her fingers as -much as to say, I am goin’ into a country where I -sha’n’t want you any more. And there wuz Marie -Antonette—poor creeter! and Anne Boleyn, poor -thing! she’d better not married a widdower. And -Joan of Arc, noble creeter! I felt real riz up a-lookin’ -at her—I always liked her.</p> - -<p>And I wuz dretful interested in the Napoleon -rooms, full of the relicks of the great kingmaker.</p> - -<p>There he lay, jest as nateral as life, on a bed, with -his cloak wropped round him—the very cloak he -wore at the battle of Marengo, and which he -wropped round his body some like a pall when that -heart had stopped its ambitious throbbin’s; and the -world breathed freer.</p> - -<p>Then there wuz his coronation robe—and if you’ll -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_472">[Pg 472]</span>believe it, the coronation robe of poor Empress -Josephine right by.</p> - -<p>I’d a-gin ten cents cheerfully if I could have -got a little piece of both on ’em for my crazy -quilt. But I didn’t spoze they’d be willin’ to -have me cut ’em off, so I didn’t tackle the guide -about it.</p> - -<p>And mebby it wuz jest as well, I d’no as I could -have slept much under them two robes and meditated -on what they had covered up. Love, triumph, -doubt, jealousy, heartaches, despair would permeate -the Josephine crazy block, and wild passions, and -burnin’ ambition, and cold, remorseless neglect, and -desertion would most likely surround the Napoleon -crazed block.</p> - -<p>I d’no but I should have the nightmair every -time I tried to sleep under it.</p> - -<p>Then there wuz his watch, stopped the minute he -died, his ring, camp knife and fork, coffee-pot, snuff-box—if -I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t believed he used -snuff, the idee is somehow so incongrous of the hero -of the Nile, the conqueror of Europe a-takin’ snuff. -Why, all Jonesville kinder looks down on old Miss -Moody because she takes snuff—black snuff, too, -scented high with bergamot.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp100" id="i_472" style="max-width: 10em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_472.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Napoleon’s tooth.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Wall, one of the most life-like -relicks wuz one of his teeth; that -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_473">[Pg 473]</span>wuz a part of the great emperor, or wuz once, before -it wuz pulled out.</p> - -<p>I spoze it ached jest like anybody’s tooth, and I -presoom he wuz hard to git along with, and talked -rough, jest as any ordinary man duz, durin’ its -worst twinges.</p> - -<p>I presoom he sed “Dum it!” repeatedly before he -made up his mind to have it out.</p> - -<p>I jedge him by Josiah, and I spoze that is a good -way to jedge men.</p> - -<p>Yes, I spoze you ketch any one man and study -him clost, and you have a good idee of the hull male -race.</p> - -<p>And then there wuz a lock of hair, took right -from his scalp, so I spoze. Oh, what burnin’ -thoughts and plans and ambitions once permeated -the spot on which that grew!</p> - -<p>My emotions wuz a perfect sight as I looked at it.</p> - -<p>And we see clothes and relicks of every other great -man, it seems to me, that ever lived—Lord Nelson, -Henry of Navarre, etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>And we see figgers—lookin’ jest as nateral as if -they could walk up and shake hands with you, if -they wuz a-mind to—of Shakespeare and Macaulay -and Scott and Byron, Calvin and Knox and Luther, -Lincoln’s homely, good face, and Grant, Henry -Ward Beecher, etc., etc., etc.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_474">[Pg 474]</span></p> -<p>I wouldn’t give a cent to see all the figgers of -criminals and murderers, but Martin thought it advisable -to walk through it, so he could say he’d been -there, I spoze.</p> - -<p>And there wuz one thing among everything else -that gin me more than seventy emotions, and that -wuz the very axe, the very old guillotine that cut -off the heads of twenty-two thousand folks durin’ -the Rain of Terror in Paris.</p> - -<p>I looked at the piece of iron with feelin’s, as I say, -beyend description.</p> - -<p>And I wondered out loud if the iron wuz now dug -out of the sile that would make jest sech a horrible -instrument for America.</p> - -<p>I groaned deep as I wondered it.</p> - -<p>And Josiah sez, “You talk like a fool, Samantha!”</p> - -<p>And I sez, “I hope I do, Josiah—I hope so!</p> - -<p>“But what hammered this piece of iron out to its -terrible use wuz the fiery hammers of jealousy, and -fury, and hunger, and want, and the gay multitude -went on in its gayety and extravagancies, and didn’t -heed the sullen hammerin’s onto that iron, and -laughed at ’em that called attention to it—jest as -you are a-doin’ now, Josiah Allen.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “You can talk about my extravagancies -if you want to, Samantha Allen, but I hain’t half the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_475">[Pg 475]</span>clothes you have, and they hain’t trimmed off anywhere -nigh as high as yourn are.”</p> - -<p>But I went on, not heedin’ his triflin’ words.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “The same furies are loose in the streets -of our American cities to-day—foolish suspicion -driv by mistaken zeal, jealousy, heartburnin’, honest -want, and need on one side; injestice, wrong, oppressions, -extravagance, indifference, anger, contempt, -etc., etc., etc., on the other side, all a-flamin’ -up and a-holdin’ up a light for jest sech a axe to be -ground out. How long will I hear the sullen thunderin’ -of the silent hammerin’s on the forge of ignorant -malice and hatred and jest anger—how long?” -And I sithed deep and heavey.</p> - -<p>And Josiah sez, “What you hear is the thud of -folks a-walkin’ through the Chamber of Horrows.”</p> - -<p>And sez he agin, “You talk like a fool! America -is good to the poor. Look at So-and-so, and So-and-so, -and So-and-so,” sez he, a-bringin’ my attention -to some of the most shinin’ lights in the field of -philanthropy and jestice.</p> - -<p>Sez I, a-drawin’ his attention to the good philanthropic -works in France—sez I, “Paris had also her -So-and-so, and So-and-so, and So-and-so before the -Rain of Terror.”</p> - -<p>And agin I gin several sithes and a few groans.</p> - -<p>But my pardner looked cross as a bear, and dog<span class="pagenum" id="Page_476">[Pg 476]</span> -tired.</p> - -<p>So, as allegorin’ and eppisodin’ must yield to the -powers of affection, I mekanically follered him in -silence through the halls, Martin and the children -bein’ in another part of the buildin’ and Al -Faizi somewhere a-lookin’ or a-takin’ notes in a -noble way—I hain’t a doubt of it.</p> - -<p>But we all rejoined each other, and sot off home -to dinner amid Josiah’s great rejoicin’.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin took us to the Zoological Garden, -where we see all the dumb creeters that ever wuz -made, it seemed to me; and all used so first-rate -that it wuz a comfort to me to see ’em. Great -big cages, where they could roam round some and -enjoy themselves.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp51" id="i_477" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_477.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Josiah at the London “Zoo.”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And wuzn’t it a pleasure to see all the beautiful -birds, of every color and plume, from every -country from Eden down, a-playin round in the -trees and in the ambient air? The cages as big -as a door-yard, with trees in ’em, where they can -fly round in the branches. And water birds with -their own ponds to float in; and sea birds with -real sea-shores fixed up for ’em.</p> - -<p>And so it wuz with every animal from a elephant -down, wild or tame. And I should have took a -sight of comfort here if I had had a pair of iron ear -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_478">[Pg 478]</span>pans, or even gutty-perchy. But bein’ but flesh -and blood, them pans ached with the fearful noise -the animals made.</p> - -<p>Josiah wanted the worst way to go to the Parliament -of Cogers, which wuz established over two -hundred years ago, and still meets in Fleet Street.</p> - -<p>Sez Josiah, “A public man in America naterly -depends on cogers and sech for his election.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I; “Heaven knows that is so. -Saloon-keepers and whiskey and beer and cider -manafacturers, and whiskey drinkers, and the raw -foreign element, and other cogers, elect more politicians -to office, specially in our big towns, than any -other element; and pure men and Christian -wimmen have to stand back and be ruled by ’em.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he, blandly; “and so it stands anybody -in hand who has political aspirations and -wants to be popular with the masses to ingrashiate -himself with all the cogers he can. I would love -to see what means these men take to endear themselves -to the cogers, besides buyin’ ’em, and makin’ -’em drunk, and sech other ways as I’m familar -with.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “you’ll go alone for all of me; I -see cogers enough in my own country without -huntin’ ’em up here, and I’d advise you to keep -away from ’em.” Sez I, “Your head hain’t strong -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_479">[Pg 479]</span>enough, Josiah, to hold only jest so much, and I’d -advise you to fill it up with the noble and grand -objects we see here on every side, and let cogers -alone.”</p> - -<p>“But,” sez he, “my futer depends on ’em; I -must keep up with other statesmen if I’m ever to -amount to anything.”</p> - -<p>But I wouldn’t listen to any more of his arguments, -and waved off the subject almost hautily.</p> - -<p>But I found out afterwards that the Parliament -wuzn’t cogers as Josiah looked on ’em, and they -wuz particular to be called <i>co</i>gers, with the emphasis -on the <i>co</i>. I found they wuz a sort of mock -debates—patronized by lawyers, political men, -newspaper men, clerks, etc., where they debate on -every subject, and drink beer and smoke pipes and -talk, talk, talk.</p> - -<p>Daniel O’Connell and Curran and John Wilkes -and many others eminent in debate wuz members -of this club.</p> - -<p>I had always pictered the Tower of London as a -tall tower a-shootin’ up, some like a steeple, only -more of a size all the way up; more, mebby, -like a very tall pillow. But, anyway, I’d always -depictered it in my mind as steeple or pillow -shaped.</p> - -<p>But, to my surprise, I found that what is called the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_480">[Pg 480]</span>Tower of London is a hull lot of buildin’s that -cover nigh upon fourteen acres of ground, though -there are, of course, a number of towers throwed in—thirteen -of ’em in all—Bloody Tower, Bell -Tower, Jewel Tower, etc., etc. They date back to -the time of Cæsar.</p> - -<p>There wuz a Roman fortress on this spot when -the Romans held London. One tower is called -Cæsar’s Tower now. William the Conqueror -founded the Tower of London as we see -it. When he wuz alive it wuz a great palace, -with thick walls for safety or defence; it -wuz used as a prison for prisoners of state mostly, -and now it is used as an arsenal. Piles of rifles -and cannons are kep’ here in some of the buildin’s.</p> - -<p>The principal entrance is the Lion’s Gate, but -there are three other gates. The Traitor’s Gate wuz -the one through which prisoners wuz took into the -Tower. I don’t spoze they recognized the way they -wuz took out. Then there is the Water Gate and -the Iron Gate.</p> - -<p>One of the most interestin’ sights there wuz the -guards who had charge of the place. They had on -velvet hats, with a kind of a wreath on ’em, some -like Tirzah Ann’s last winter’s hat, and a deep ruffle -round their necks, and a blue sort of a polenay or -overskirt, with a belt all embroidered with roses -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_481">[Pg 481]</span>and thistles and shamrocks and crowns, and, etc., and -short pantoloons, with stockin’s comin’ up to the -knee, and rosettes on their knees and rosettes on -their shues.</p> - -<p>Josiah sez to me, “Never before sence I wuz -born have I seen a man dressed up as he ort to be -to carry out my idees. You can see for yourself, -Samantha, jest how perfectly beautiful, and how -dressy and stylish a man can be if he sets out; -why,” sez he, “a dress like that would take twenty -years offen my age, and I d’no but twenty-one, -and I’m bound to have one jest exactly like it -if I ever live to git home. What a sensation it will -create in Jonesville!” sez he dreamily.</p> - -<p>I gin a deep sithe, but before I could reply the -company started on their rounds of observation, -led by one of them gay-dressed individuals. They -go the rounds every half hour.</p> - -<p>Wall, we got some guide-books, and payed our -sixpence apiece for our tickets, some as if we wuz -goin’ into a menagerie, and follered the guide over -the moat bridge into the different towers.</p> - -<p>Martin and Josiah wuz dretful interested in the -place where the weepons wuz kep’, bayonets and -swords and rifles and pistols enough to equip all the -armies of the earth, it seemed to me.</p> - -<p>But I wuz more interested, a dretful heart-sickenin’ -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_482">[Pg 482]</span>interest in the place where the wretched -captives wuz imprisoned and wore the long hours -away (jest as long hours as we have now) in vain -dreams of the happy and brilliant past. A-lookin’ -forred to the sure approach of a awful death, or, -perhaps, in ellusive hopes of escape and flight to -other shores.</p> - -<p>But the shores they reached, poor things! wuz -up a steep the livin’ has never climbed.</p> - -<p>We see on the walls of these prisons words they -carved in the hours they waited execution. Arthur -Poole, who tried to help Mary up onto the English -throne, left these words—</p> - -<p>“I. H. S. A passage perillus makethe a port -pleasant—1568.—A. Poole.”</p> - -<p>I wonder jest how he felt when he writ them -words—jest what a heartache and heartbreak spoke -through ’em. I dare presoom to say he thought -too much of Mary, but I can’t help that now; it’s -three hundred years too late.</p> - -<p>There wuz elaborate carvin’s of flowers, leaves, -figgers, etc., and the names of their unhappy designers, -who seemin’ly tried to light up their -captivity by formin’ the shapes of the flowers -they would never see a-growin’ in freedom agin—poseys -without perfume, cold stun rosys, indeed.</p> - -<p>And then in one room wuz jest that one word:</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_483">[Pg 483]</span></p> -<div class="blockquot"> - -<p>“Jane.”</p> -</div> - -<p>That touched me more’n the more elaborate -ones. That wuz spozed to mean Lady Jane Grey, -and wuz carved by her pardner, Lord Dudley. It -seemed as if Love wuz a-callin’ out to her—“Jane!” -jest that one cry acrost the silences of death and -eternity.</p> - -<p>Then there wuz the autograph of Philip Howard, -Earl of Arundel, who had his head cut off in 1572 -for wantin’ to marry Mary Queen of Scots.</p> - -<p>What a havock that woman did make amongst -the men!</p> - -<p>Then in the White Tower we see the place where -Essex wuz killed and the rooms occupied by Sir -Walter Raleigh, and in the Brick Tower we see the -prison where Walter spent the last days of his life. -I wondered if through the long, dreary hours them -real good words of hisen wuz any comfort to him:</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Give me my scallop shell of quiet,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">My staffe of faith to walk upon;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">My scrip of joye—immortal diet—</div> - <div class="verse indent2">My bottle of salvation,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">My gown of glory, hope’s true gage;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">—And thus I take my pilgrimage.</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Blood must be my body’s balmer,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">While my soul, like peaceful palmer,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Travelleth toward the land of Heaven.</div> -<hr class="tb" /> - <div class="verse indent0"><span class="pagenum" id="Page_484">[Pg 484]</span>“There will I kiss</div> - <div class="verse indent0">The bowle of blisse,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And drink mine everlasting fill</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Upon every milken-hill;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">My soul will be a-dry before;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">But after that will thirst no more.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Them lines ort to have been a comfort to him—mebby -they wuz. But lines writ in a pleasant room -to home, with the door shet up, don’t mebby sound -jest the same on the scaffold or to the stake—dretful -echoes sound all round ’em, loud voices that -mebby drown out the words.</p> - -<p>I spoze he thought sometimes durin’ them long -days of his friends Shakespeare and Bacon. Mebby -if there wuz any secrets between them two about -the plays, he knew it. I wish I knew what it wuz—I’d -give fifty cents freely if it could be made -known to me.</p> - -<p>I wonder what he thought of Elizabeth in them -days. I wonder if he wuz sorry he throwed his -cloak down for her to walk over. He tried to keep -her from jest dampenin’ her feet a little, and she -willin’ to cut his head off.</p> - -<p>I’ll bet if he’d had his way them last ten days -here, he would have let her sloshed right through -the mud, and not offered to throw his cloak down -for her.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_485">[Pg 485]</span></p> -<p>Poor, capricious, jealous creeter, Lib wuz; but I -believe that big collar she always wore choked her -and kinder rasped her neck, and made her ugly. It -would make me cross as a bear, it seems to me.</p> - -<p>But I d’no what his feelin’s wuz, nor what hern -wuz, when she knew the man who wuz once her -lover, and beloved by her, wuz spendin’ the long -days alone with despair and death.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_486">[Pg 486]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXVI">CHAPTER XXVI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">PARIS AND ITS BEAUTIES.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin felt and sed that France must be -took in by him. He sed that a full knowledge of -the French character, the -country and the customs -and habits of the people, -wuz positively imperative -to any one who laid any -claims to fashion, and so -he laid out to go to France -and give it a exhaustive -study. He laid out, he -sed, to stay in the country -not less than three -days, and he might possibly -stay four.</p> - -<p>Thinkses I, with a deep -inward sithe, I guess it -will be a exhaustive study; -it exhausted me even to -think of bein’ raced so through a country, whirled -on by the influence of Fashion and Martin.</p> - -<p>But he wuz the conductor of the enterprise, so to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_487">[Pg 487]</span> -speak, and we had to foller his rules blindly, as it wuz.</p> - -<p>Wall, travellin’ at the rate of speed we did, my -memories are apt to run together, some like the -colors of a calico dress after it is washed—the blacks -and reds are apt to mingle, dark eppisodes and -lighter complected ones—but some memories stand -out vividly, too deeply printed to fade out.</p> - -<p>One is my Josiah’s feelin’s at not havin’ his breakfast -till ’leven o’clock.</p> - -<p>In vain the waiter told him that at any time he -could have his “calf-o-lay” (French).</p> - -<p>“Lay!” sez he; “that’s jest what I want to get rid -on—lay! Do you spoze that after gittin’ up at five -o’clock all my life, I’m a-goin’ to lay abed till noon?” -And then the waiter murmured sunthin’ agin about -“calf-o-lay.”</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp59" id="i_486" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_486.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“Calf-o-lay! I hain’t a calf or a ox!” he shouted.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And that madded Josiah agin, and sez he, “What -of it—what if calves do lay! I hain’t a calf or a -ox!” he shouted. “You think,” sez he, “that because -I come from the country that you can go on -with your insultin’ talk about calves, and intimate -that I’m a calf. But I’ll let you know that you’ve got -holt of the wrong individual to impose upon. Keep -your dum breakfast till noon if you want to and -starve a man to death, but you shall not call me a -calf.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_488">[Pg 488]</span></p> - -<p>I interrupted him and told him that he meant -coffee with milk.</p> - -<p>“Coffee and milk!” he hollered; “what is that to -feed a starvin’ man?” Sez he, “I want pork and -beans and potaters and slap-jacks.”</p> - -<p>Wall, the waiter wuz skairt most to death, but I -quieted my pardner down, and the next time I had -a chance I bought two paper bags of cookies and -sech, to appease the worst cravin’s of hunger, and -administered ’em to him as I had need.</p> - -<p>Another memory is seein’ the bathers goin’ in at -Havre, and the trials I had with my pardner a-keepin’ -him out of the briny surf.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp50" id="i_489" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_489.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">How stylish I would look.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Sez he, “Samantha, I will go in a-bathin’; jest -see,” sez he, “how gayly they swim and float -through the water, all dressed up in bright colors; -how stylish it would look, what a air it would gin -us to see you and me a-floatin’ and a-bobbin’ up and -down in that element! It would be sunthin’ so uneek -to tell to Deacon Gowdey and Ury.</p> - -<p>“And then,” sez he, “we could lead the fashion -to home, we could turn the buzz saw-mill dam into -a perfect carnival of delight.”</p> - -<p>I looked coldly at him, and sez I, “You’re not -goin’ to make a fool of yourself at your age by bathin’ -and foolin’ round in the water.”</p> - -<p>“Why,” sez he, “you’re always preachin’ up bathin’ -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_489">[Pg 489]</span>to me; you’ve lectered me more times than I’ve -got fingers and toes about bathin’; and now that I’m -willin’ to foller it up, you draw me back.”</p> - -<p>And agin he looked longin’ly at the dancin’ surf -and the gay-robed bathers and the -funny bathin’ housen.</p> - -<p>But I sez, “A big pail of water -and some soap and towels and -the seclusion of your bedroom are -very different from makin’ a spectacle -of yourself here in this hant -of display.”</p> - -<p>I broke it up.</p> - -<p>And then at Trouville, though -I spoze nobody would believe it, -and he denies it now, yet sech is -the force of custom and fashion on -the mind of my beloved pardner -that I d’no but that man would -have played cards and won money -mebby up as high as 25 cents, if -I’d allowed it.</p> - -<p>He denies the awful charge, and mebby he’s right. -But he talked strange, strange for a deacon and a -grandfather.</p> - -<p>But while engaged in these purile thoughts while -journeyin’ through France his pardner wuz thinkin’ -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_490">[Pg 490]</span>of what we owed the country, and how it sent the -flower of its youth and bravery to help us in our -troublous time.</p> - -<p>I thought of the young Marquis De Lafayette -leavin’ his fair France, his ease, his luxury, and his -sweetheart, to sail out fur away into the midst of -privations and dangers to help a strugglin’ colony -to independence.</p> - -<p>And then I thought of how another Frenchman, -Jacques Cartier, wuz the first white man to navigate -our king of rivers, the St. Lawrence. Why, my -thoughts soared and sailed along as I thought of -them idees, most as surgin’ and deep as that noble -river at its widest pint, and my pride and glory in -my native land stood up above that sweepin’ current -some like its Thousand Islands, only mebby not -ornamented off so much as they be with palaces, -bridges, cupalos, torchlights, etc., etc.</p> - -<p>But I felt dretful riz up. And a-musin’ on Lafayette -and the debt we owed France, I wondered if -they got in a tussel with England or Russia or etc.—if -Uncle Sam would lay to and help her in -return.</p> - -<p>But I d’no as there is any danger of our havin’ -the job, seein’ she has got about six millions of defenders -in her army and navy; and we about 20 or -30 thousand.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_491">[Pg 491]</span></p> -<p>Queer, hain’t it, when the United States is so -much bigger than she is?</p> - -<p>But the fact speaks well for our republic and all -the law-makers, from its President and Governors -down to its Pathmasters and School Trustees.</p> - -<p>In Havre, Alice wuz some interested in seein’ -the birthplace of Sara Bernhardt. She had seen -her act, and they do say, though she is considerable -bony in figger and gittin’ along in years, she is a -marvel of grace, and acts out all sorts of lives, and -dies so nateral that you’d almost appint the day for -her funeral and pick out her barriers.</p> - -<p>I don’t spoze I could ever git to be nigh so -graceful as she is, and Josiah don’t think I can; he -wuz real sot on it when we talked it over.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp61" id="i_492" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_492.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>I don’t spoze I could ever git to be nigh so graceful as she is.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Al Faizi wuz interested in seein’ the birthplace of -Alphonse Karr—he had read his works.</p> - -<p>Wall, there wuz one place I wanted to see dretfully -on our journey to Paris, and Al Faizi and -Alice wanted to see it too. And that wuz the -place where the Maid of Orleans wuz executed in -1431. I mentioned to Martin our desires.</p> - -<p>And he sez, “Joan of Ark? What Ark,” sez he, -“is that? I am not familiar with any such personage,” sez -he.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “You can call her that, or you can call her -Jennie Dark; you can call it either way.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_493">[Pg 493]</span></p> -<p>“I don’t know any Ark or Dark,” sez he. -“Was she a woman of any note? Was her calling a -high one?” sez he.</p> - -<p>“About as high as you git here below,” sez I. -“She heard voices from above; angels talked with -her and guided her on her way.” And I went on -and related her history, brief though impressive, -comin’ to me through Thomas J.</p> - -<p>Sez Martin, “I don’t approve of following up -any such impostors; I don’t believe in any such -doings. Common sense don’t bear them out.”</p> - -<p>Sez I mildly, “Mebby Oncommon Sense is -needed to comprehend it, Martin.”</p> - -<p>But he wuz obdurate, till Alice told him in -her sweet way that she would really love to go -there.</p> - -<p>And then he gin in to once.</p> - -<p>And we did go to the Place De Pucelle, where -she wuz burned to death for bein’ more speritual and -riz up than her burners.</p> - -<p>I had a sight of emotions as I stood on that spot—sights -on ’em.</p> - -<p>You see, I had her story at my tongue’s end, -Thomas J. had read it to me so much. She wuz a -common country girl, whose parents wuz day -laborers. She herself couldn’t read or write. Into -this sile, prepared, as you may say—speakin’ from the -laws of heredity—for only coarse labor, coarse -thoughts, common desires and hopes—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_494">[Pg 494]</span></p> - -<p>In this sile sprung up the consummit flower of -speritual communion. Angels talked with her. -She held communion with the Exalted One. -From her thirteenth year she heard voices speakin’ -to her. They did not tell her to go forth to labor -like her brothers and sisters; no, they told her to -free France from the English, put her young king -on the throne. The onseen one that talked with -her enabled her to know her troubled young king, -amidst a crowd of his own age and dressed jest as -he wuz.</p> - -<p>She had hard work to even see him to tell her -mission, so sure wuz the Common Sense about her -that the Oncommon Sense she had wuz only imposter.</p> - -<p>But she headed the army, made that wicked, dissolute -body of soldiers some like Christian Endeavorers, -so ardent and sincere wuz her piety.</p> - -<p>She won the battle. Agin and agin she defeated -the enemy. She saw her young king crowned. -Then she wanted to go back into her quiet home—into -the garden where in the cool of the evenin’ she -heard the heavenly message. She said her work -wuz done. But they wouldn’t let her go. And -wuz it because she didn’t foller the Voice that told -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_495">[Pg 495]</span>her to go back to her old home—did a little personal -pride, gratified ambition, ozze in and flavor -the human mandate to make her stay?</p> - -<p>I d’no, nor Josiah don’t. But she begun to make -mistakes after this—lost battles, and at last her -own countrymen, though allies of the English, -called her a sorceress. The Common Sense found -her guilty; the same C. S. burnt her up root and -branch.</p> - -<p>But the Oncommon Sense didn’t desert her. -The heavenly influence that the multitude wuz -blind as a bat to, and as deef as a adder, made her -say in them last supreme moments—</p> - -<p>“I <i>did</i> hear the voices.”</p> - -<p>Wall, the feelin’s I had as I stood in that spot -couldn’t be counted—no, not on a typewriter.</p> - -<p>The Common Sense felt that a statute to her ort -to be useful, as well as ornamental, so they made it -into a sort of a waterin’ trough. And the statute -hain’t what it ort to be, but my imagination filled -out the details, and I see as I look at it the rapt face -of the little maiden of thirteen a-lookin’ up with -illumined eyes as she received the message; I see -her a noble conqueror, clad in armor, stand by her -young king as she see him crowned; I see her -noble face uplifted to Heaven as the flames -mounted about her; I hearn her say—</p> - -<p>“I <i>did</i> hear the voices.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_496">[Pg 496]</span></p> - -<p>But my reflections wuz cut short by the words:</p> - -<p>“Well, I believe tourists usually make a short -stay here; it is comparatively uninteresting. This -combination of trough and monument is remarkably -uninteresting, and not to be copied by Americans.</p> - -<p>“Though considering the small water power -France possesses, compared with our own great -water-courses, I can’t perhaps criticise their methods -so much.” This I heard on the right of me, then -on the left of me Josiah’s voice—</p> - -<p>“This has put a crackin’ good idee into my head, -Samantha. You know the trough out east of the -horse barn, Ury might kinder chop out a statute -of me and nail it on top of it; it would be highly -esteemed by my fellow-townsmen. He could put -on it, you know, ”Deacon and salesman in the -cheese factory.“ They’d praise the trough highly, -and I’ll have Ury begin it jest as quick as I git -home; I’ve got a good block of hickory over to the -saw-mill.”</p> - -<p>I sithed deep and turned away, and I see Al -Faizi’s rapt face a-lookin’ beyend the statute—fur -beyend, on sunthin’ that Martin and Josiah couldn’t -see if they lived to be as old as Metheuseleah.</p> - -<p>Alice looked real sweet and dreamy, too. Adrian -wuz playin’ in the water.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_497">[Pg 497]</span></p> -<p>And so each one on us wuz pursuin’ our own -peticular fantoms, some on ’em as thin shadders as -the materials dreams are made of, and some on ’em -as real and practical as horse-blocks and anvils.</p> - -<p>Martin sed he should make only a brief visit to -France, as he had studied the country so exhaustively -when he brung Alice over here to school and -went after her (in all, he wuz in France about 48 -hours); he sed he could spend but very little -time there.</p> - -<p>But he sed that he felt that the proper thing to -do would be to visit Paris, so he could say on our -return that we had come straight from Paris. I -d’no why he felt so, but I spoze he did.</p> - -<p>But we did, indeed, find Paris a beautiful city.</p> - -<p>Martin put up at a first-class tarvern, as he always -did. But I hearn him tell Josiah that they cheated -him on every side. It madded Martin, for though -he always duz things on a large, noble scale, and is -willin’ to pay large, yet he don’t want to be cheated—nobody -duz.</p> - -<p>I found that they spoke English at the tarvern, so -my worst fears wuz squenched; for how I wuz goin’ -to git along and feed Josiah in a land where bread -wuz “pain” and water wuz “oh” wuz more than I -could tell. Besides, other things accordin’, what -wuz I to do? I wildly questioned my soul.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_498">[Pg 498]</span></p> -<p>How could I git my pardner dressed, and warmed, -and git him from place to place wuz more than -I could tell; but my fears wuz vain, for though -jabberin’s wuz on every side on us, and rapid vocifiration -in senseless brogue wuz in voge, yet plenty wuz -found who spoke our good, honest, Jonesville tongue.</p> - -<p>How clean Paris is! how gay and bright the -streets look! what pretty wimmen, and what neat, -smart-lookin’ men, and pretty children, too, with -their smart nurse-maids! elegant carriages, splendid -housen, magnificent buildin’s, and arches, and towers, -and monuments, and meetin’-housen, and around -everything and over everything the gay, bright atmosphere -of good feelin’ and politeness.</p> - -<p>No wonder folks love to come here, and don’t -want to go away. Why, I enjoyed myself first-rate -in Paris, and Paris enjoyed my bein’ there, so -fur as I know; they acted as if they did, anyway; -most always a-smilin’ at me and my pardner in a -most agreeable manner.</p> - -<p>Yes, they wuz glad we had lanched out and come, -I hain’t a doubt on’t.</p> - -<p>Alice had lots of school friends here, and wuz -out a good deal a-seein’ ’em, and Martin and Al -Faizi wuz each on ’em a-pursuin’ their own favorite -fantoms—as different as any two fantoms ever wuz, -from first to last.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_499">[Pg 499]</span></p> -<p>But Josiah and me shacked round quite a good -deal, Adrian a-goin’ with us quite considerable. -About the first thing that strikes you as you venter -out-doors is the wideness and beauty of the -streets, with their double row of trees and their elegant -housen, lookin’ so sort o’ finished—not put in -anyhow, like a palace and a hovel, but all kinder -of the same style and make, handsome as picters, -and the sidewalk is as wide as from our house to -the barn, and I d’no but wider. They are -twice as wide as the main street in Zoar, some on -’em, where they have the most gay and beautiful -stores of different kinds; and, if you’ll believe it, -they have tables set out-doors in the most handsome -style, and folks a-eatin’ at ’em, all dressed up -and a-jabberin’ away, and a-laughin’, and havin’ a -first-rate time.</p> - -<p>Josiah wuz dretful impressed by it all.</p> - -<p>Sez he, as if he wuz a-usin’ real big words, sez -he—</p> - -<p>“France is impressive and edifyin’ in many ways. -What improvements we can witness and inaugerate -to home! One thing I shall immegiately proceed to -arrange; henceforth, Samantha, we shall always -partake of our food out by the side of the road.”</p> - -<p>I looked real cold at the idee, and he went on—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_500">[Pg 500]</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp56" id="i_500" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_500.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Josiah, “cultered and travelled,” schemes for Jonesvillian out-door -dinner parties, à la Paris, and how Samantha foresees the result.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“Jest think of the gayety, the life it will bring -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_501">[Pg 501]</span>to Jonesville to have all the neighbors a-eatin’ out -by the highway, for of course they will foller the -example of those who are cultered and travelled; -imagine,” sez he, a-wavin’ his hand and enjoyin’ -himself first-rate in futer retrospects ahead on -him—</p> - -<p>“Imagine Deacon Henzy and Drusilly, and she -that wuz Submit Tewksbury and her husband, Simon -Slimpsey and Betsy, all on ’em a-eatin’ out-doors, -a-minglin’ their voices with ourn as we set -to our table; I with my dressin’-gown on, and you, -if you wanted to, a-playin’ on a accordeon in a gay, -light manner befittin’ the happy occasion.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “It would be a lot of fun to set down in a -lot of burdocks and mullin full of dirt; and what -would happen when Deacon Small driv his big herd -of cows by? You know they always will go a-prancin’ -and a-kickin’ up the dust and a-actin’ because -he wants ’em to eat the grass along the side of the -road.</p> - -<p>“How would you like to have the table overturned -by his critters, and you prostrated by a -kick in the stumick as you tried vainly to protect -the teapot? How would you like to have that -Jersey entangle his huffs in the tossels of your -dressin’-gown, and drag you at his heels?” sez I.</p> - -<p>“And who’d bring the food out there and bear it -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_502">[Pg 502]</span>in agin? And if you think I’m a-goin’ to learn the -accordeon at my age and with my rumatiz, you’re -mistakened.”</p> - -<p>He see it wuzn’t feasible, but he wouldn’t gin in.</p> - -<p>He drawed my attention off by pintin’ down the -magnificent vista of broad avenues, three hundred -feet wide, smooth as glass, and full of gay vehicles, -and beyend, risin’ up like a dream of beauty and -grandeur and strength, the great Arch d’Etoile.</p> - -<p>This can never be described by Josiah or me; it -must be seen to be appreciated. It is the grandest -monument Napoleon has left, and cost over two -millions of dollars.</p> - -<p>But as you go on you see fountains and columns -and gardens and arches and booths and groves and -singers and amusements of all kinds for the people, -and everything else that is beautiful and impressive -and etc., etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>The Place Vendôme, where memories of the -great king-maker hover round the tall columns -that picters out his grand, melancholy career; -the Tuileries and the Louvre.</p> - -<p>How be I a-goin’ to make the public and Betsy -Slimpsey git any idee of them palaces, adorned -with all that is most beautiful in art and sculpter, -and that cover sixty acres of ground!</p> - -<p>Mebby I could gin Drusilly Henzy a little idee -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_503">[Pg 503]</span>on’t, for that is jest the number of acres of solid -ground that fell onto ’em from her father.</p> - -<p>It jest about crushed ’em—the wealth seemed -to ’em overwhelmin’.</p> - -<p>Imagine a big farm all risin’ up into palaces, -beautiful as you ever see rise up into the cloudy -Heavens.</p> - -<p>The Gallery of the Louvre—wall, if Drusilly and -I should undertake to pick up every little grain of -dirt that goes to make up them sixty acres of hern, -and have each separate one branch out into some -beautiful, be-a-u-tiful form, some delicate, exquisite -fancy, or some exalted figger of impressive beauty—why, -wouldn’t we be tuckered out before we -got through? though at the same time so riz up -and inspired, that we wouldn’t know, some of -the time, whether we wuz in the body or out on’t.</p> - -<p>Wall, that may gin the public and Betsy some -idee of what everybody must make up their mind -to go through when they tackle the Louvre.</p> - -<p>From the beginnin’ of time till now every land -has contributed its choicest treasures to this hallowed -place, from Nineveh and Egypt to Jonesville -(for was not Jonesville’s choicest treasures of -humanity represented there when Josiah Allen and -I stood there, some like statutes, only more comfortably -dressed, and lookin’ round us more?).</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_504">[Pg 504]</span></p> -<p>What poems in marble bust onto our visions, -and what sights on ’em!</p> - -<p>What marvels of ancient art!</p> - -<p>What picters! what picters!</p> - -<p>Oh, dear me! it lifts me up, and tuckers me out -to think on ’em now. Some of the galleries wuz a -quarter of a mild long.</p> - -<p>Jest think of it here, as fur as from our -house over to Old Grout Nickleson’s; and I -never ust to think, when his mother-in-law was -bed-rid, that I could walk it; no, I always had -Josiah hitch up. And then think of that immense -distance full on each side of the best of -the world.</p> - -<p>Picters by Guido, Murillo, Titian, Rembrandt, -Vandyke, Leonardo da Vinci, Wouverman, etc., -etc., etc.—picters that them immortal old masters -had their own hands on, and bent their own glowin’ -inspired eyes on.</p> - -<p>My soul, jest think on’t!</p> - -<p>Relicks of all the sovereigns—spurs of the old -conquerors (and how they did spur things up and -make ’em fly!).</p> - -<p>Relicks of kings without number—and queens, -too, and princes.</p> - -<p>Marie Antoinette’s shues—I’m glad I didn’t have -to walk in ’em, for though they trod through pleasant, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_505">[Pg 505]</span>luxurious places at first, they had to climb up -the scaffold.</p> - -<p>Poor creeter!</p> - -<div class="figright illowp53" id="i_505" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_505.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>There wuz the clothes he wore that he ust to -button over that restless, ambitious heart.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>The Napoleon Room gin me a sight of emotions, -and I didn’t care who see ’em. -I jest about cried when I looked -on that old flag he kissed in a -sad hour. There wuz the clothes -he wore that he ust to button -over that restless, ambitious -heart. Yes, and there wuz some -of the hair that riz up over that -ambitious brain, that wuz the -terror and admiration of all -Europe.</p> - -<p>He used Josephine mean—mean -as a dog, and he -wuz too high-sperited and -ambitious; but yet what -a man, what a man he -wuz! Sunthin’ good and -noble must have been in -him to make his soldiers -love him so. How they totter up to-day to lay -wreaths on the railin’ round his statute—layin’ -at his marble feet the poseys of their hearts’ devotion, -their highest love, and their deepest sorrer. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_506">[Pg 506]</span>No man not naterally noble could call forth sech -affection in his dependents.</p> - -<p>I have wished a hundred times I could have been -there, and neighbored with him and Josephine, and -kinder kep’ ’em together, and quelled him down -some in his ambitious views—things would have -been different, no doubt; I presoom she wouldn’t -have died of a broken heart—years in dyin’, but so -much the harder.</p> - -<p>He wouldn’t have had to be shet up in a lonesome -island a prisoner, and all Europe would have -fared better.</p> - -<p>But it wuzn’t to be—it wuzn’t to be.</p> - -<p>Pa Smith at that time wuzn’t married, and -I wuz—wall, I don’t really know where I wuz -at that time, nor Josiah don’t know; it looked -kinder dubersome and vague about my ever bein’ -born at all, and things had to go on jest as they -did.</p> - -<p>Wall, as I have said heretofore, that gallery of -the Louvre is full, full to overflowin’ of the richest -treasures of art, as my riz-up brain and my -four weary legs testify—my own two extremities -and my Josiah’s pair on ’em.</p> - -<p>Hisen ached like the toothache, so he sed.</p> - -<p>He didn’t bear his weariness silently and oncomplainin’ly, -as I tried to—no, with groanin’s that -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_507">[Pg 507]</span>couldn’t be uttered hardly he kep’ by my side -through them interminable galleries.</p> - -<p>Adrian asked a sight of questions—a sight of -’em. And when I proposed to go to the Bois -de Boulogne, my poor pardner asked me feelin’ly -if in the name of the gracious Peter I wanted -another boy a-traipsin’ at our heels a-askin’ enough -questions to tire out a regiment of soldiers.</p> - -<p>But I explained it all out to him, and we took -considerable comfort there.</p> - -<p>The place wuz more beautiful than tongue -could tell. Jest as a French woman always looks -better dressed up than an American or an English -woman, and their cities more brilliant and -beautiful, jest so are these woods fur more beautiful -than Jonesville or New York woods.</p> - -<p>Why, jest compare our sugar bush and the -woods between Zoar and Jonesville with these -woods of Boulogne—where be they? Further off -than the golden sunset is to the vision of Josiah.</p> - -<p>And the Elysian Fields—tongue would fail to -give any idee of what we see there.</p> - -<p>Notre Dame, perfect indeed duz it look, a-risin’ -up with its two towers a-dwarfin’ the housen about -it, though they are sizable ones.</p> - -<p>The Egyptian Obelisk of Luxor, that rises up -in the air one hundred feet, all full of strange -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_508">[Pg 508]</span>writin’, I wish it could speak and tell what it -had seen all through the past centuries—what its -old red face must have looked down on from first -to last.</p> - -<p>Curous to even think on. I presoom it must -have looked down on Cleopatra and seen her a-cuttin’ -up and a-actin’, a-flirtin’ and a-carryin’ matters -altogether too fur with Antony, Cæsar, etc., etc.</p> - -<p>I wonder if the old obelisk sees any sech doin’s -now in Paris in 1894?</p> - -<p>I dare presoom to say she duz. Human nater -has always capered sence the days of Adam and -Eve.</p> - -<p>It hain’t never talked on much, but I always -blamed Antony jest as much as I did Cleopatra and -Cæsar too; they all ort to been ashamed of themselves—and -sech good wives as they had, too. -Aurelia and Calpurnia wuz real good wimmen, so -fur as I ever hearn on.</p> - -<p>Wall, the big fountain, which stood not fur off, -are a sight to see and are ornamented beautifully, -besides havin’ immense water priveliges, and they -ort to have, for right here on this spot stood -that dretful thing, the guillotine.</p> - -<p>Oh, what doin’s, what doin’s took place right -here! Angels must have veiled their faces with -their feather wings as they flew over the spot in -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_509">[Pg 509]</span>them dretful days of the French Revolution. -Twenty-eight hundred wuz killed here—had their -heads cut right off—trompled on by men risin’ aginst -tyrants, killin’ ’em off; and then they, too, turned -into tyrants, wuz overthrown and killed off like -sheep.</p> - -<p>Louis XVI., Charlotte Corday, Marie Antoinette, -Danton, Robespierre—oh, what dretful things to -think on! But the murmur of the water as it -spouted up and fell back in murmurs whispered of -happier, more peaceful times.</p> - -<p>In a place where stood the old prison of Bastille, -a sile steeped with the tears and blood of the -thousand and thousands of prisoners and victims, -stands Liberty, a-standin’ upon a monument one -hundred and fifty feet high. She always had to -wade through blood, and always will, for all I -know. She had a broken chain in one hand—the -past is behind her, the chains are broke. She lifts -up a torch in the other hand, its light streams into -the futer. She don’t lay out to have any more -sech deeds of darkness done if she can possibly -help it—you can see that by the looks of her.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_510">[Pg 510]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXVII">CHAPTER XXVII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">NAPOLEON AND OTHER GREAT FRENCHMEN.</p> - -<p>One day I told Josiah that I must go to see the -Invalides.</p> - -<p>And he sez, “You better keep away, Samantha; -you may ketch sunthin’.”</p> - -<p>But I explained that I wanted to see the tomb of -Napoleon, so he gin in, and we went there and stayed -some time.</p> - -<p>The big gilded dome of this meetin’-house towers -up three hundred and fifty feet, and can be seen all -over the city, and would be apt to keep Napoleon -in memory if France wuz inclined to forgit him, -which it hain’t. Here he lays, jest as he wanted to, -by the banks of the waters he thought so much on, -and with the French people he loved.</p> - -<p>As you go in, you see under a gold and white canopy -the form of our Lord upon the cross lookin’ down, -down into a splendid tomb surrounded by a great laurel -crown and twelve giant statutes of Victories a-towerin’ -up all about it—you see the grave of the Great -Conqueror. My emotions wuz a sight to behold; I -couldn’t count ’em, nor did Josiah.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_511">[Pg 511]</span></p> -<p>All the thoughts I had ever had about the Hero—and -they’d been soarin’ ones and a endless variety -on ’em seemin’ly—all seemed to be crystallized and -run together as I stood in that spot. But how could -I tell my feelin’s? I couldn’t no more’n them -twelve marble figgers could, who lifted their grand -colossial figgers all round his coffin; their great -noble faces expressed a sight, and so I spoze -mine did, but it would have been jest as vain -for me to have told my emotions as it would -for them to open their marble lips and told -theirn.</p> - -<p>You might probble thought that they had their -own idees about Napoleon, and so had I.</p> - -<p>He waded through seas of blood and sufferin’, -personal sufferin’ as well, up from obscurity to the -topmost pinnacle of worldly glory. He left achin’, -bleedin’ hearts on all sides on him, from Josephine’s -down to the widders and sweethearts of dead soldiers, -as he stalked along with his arms folded, and that old -hat of hisen on, and his inscrutable eyes fixed on the -heights, so I spoze; but he loved his country, and -there wuz sunthin’ about the man that drew hearts -to him, that turned grizzled old soldiers into babies -when they spoke on him, that made ’em willin’ to -live for him, to die for him.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_512">[Pg 512]</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp50" id="i_512" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_512.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>With his arms folded, and that old hat of hisen on, and his -inscrutable eyes fixed on the heights.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I d’no, I spoze some of that resistless charm rested -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_513">[Pg 513]</span>on the sublime magnificence of that place, and always -will, so fur as I know.</p> - -<p>I felt queer.</p> - -<p>But Martin could not pause long even in this -place, and for all I know all the while we wuz there -he wuz a-pricein’ in his mind the marble and porphry -and all the matchless splendor of the tomb, and -a-calculatin’ on how much the money invested there -would bring if he had the handlin’ of it. Anyway, -we wuz probble milds and milds apart in our minds, -though the left tab of my mantilly brushed aginst -him.</p> - -<p>Josiah observed as we turned away that he wuz -“hungry and dog tired.”</p> - -<p>Al Faizi wuz deep in thought, and Alice and -Adrian took up in lookin’ about ’em, and wonderin’ -at the grand and solemn magnificence of the interior.</p> - -<p>One day we went to the cemetery of Père La -Chaise. Alice and Al Faizi and Adrian went with -us that day; Martin had got to go to see some big -man or other, who owned a ranch in Montana, in -the neighborhood of some of Martin’s friends.</p> - -<p>Wall, what a quiet, lovely spot that cemetery is, -what a sweet place to rest in when our little life -here is rounded by a sleep!</p> - -<p>Over two hundred acres of graves—what glowin’ -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_514">[Pg 514]</span>hopes and joys, what miseries and despairs found -a rest here! Wealth and Poverty, Ambition and -Love, all asleep.</p> - -<p>Rothschild a-droppin’ his money bags as the sleep -come on, as well as the baby who reposes under -the simple stun marked—“Our Own Darling -Baby.”</p> - -<p>Hearts ached when he dropped to sleep.</p> - -<p>The Countess Demidoff rests under the costly -Mausoleum built above her. And Rachel, the -great actress, wonderful creeter, how she moved the -hearts of the world! But at last the curtain fell and -she retired. No <i>encore</i> from friend or lover can -call her before the World’s footlights agin—no, she -has got through actin’; has gone from the Make-Believe -into the Real.</p> - -<p>Talma, too, has gone to sleep in that quiet place, -and Béranger and Racine and Bernardin St. -Pierre.</p> - -<p>It seemed almost as though Paul and Virginia ort -to be here by him.</p> - -<p>And La Place and Arago. I wonder if they -hain’t havin’ a good time up amongst the stars; I -presoom they have discovered lots of new worlds—hosts -of ’em. And General Massena, Marshal -Davoust, and Marshal Ney, the bravest soldier. And -Chopin, what music that man must have hearn by -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_515">[Pg 515]</span>this time—more melogious than he ever dreamt on -here!</p> - -<p>And Alice wanted to visit the graves of Abelard -and Heloise. They are restin’ under a canopy, -havin’ got past all the tribulations that beset ’em -here below.</p> - -<p>Alice wanted to see ’em for Love’s sake—so I -spoze. Poor creeters that thought so much of each -other and seemed to be so clost to each other that -nothin’ earthly could separate ’em, and then he -a-dyin’ in a monastery and she a-passin’ away in a -nunnery; separated in body, but united in sperit—so -I spoze.</p> - -<p>Wall, their memories are close linked together, -anyway, and will walk down the ages together.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi’s dark eyes dwelt on Alice, and the marble -forms of the lovers, at about the same time and -for quite a long spell.</p> - -<p>His look seemed to take ’em all in—Alice’s sweet -young beauty and the idee of the sad fate of the -lovers.</p> - -<p>The hull sad story seemed to be writ out in his -melancholy, but glowin’ eyes.</p> - -<p>Poor creeter!</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin and Alice went to lots of places -that I hadn’t no idee of wantin’ to go to—receptions -and parties and theatres and sech. And Martin -come home from the theatre with his big feelin’s -kinder trompled down for once, I guess.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_516">[Pg 516]</span></p> - -<p>They wouldn’t let him in.</p> - -<p>He probble could have bought out the hull theatre, -root and branch, and not felt it a mite; and to -home they would have strewed flowers in his path -up the aisle, if he had jest hinted at it.</p> - -<p>But he wuz turned out here, neck and crop, because -he hadn’t a dress-suit on.</p> - -<p>He felt meachin’ about it, I believe, though he -wouldn’t say much. But the next night they went -agin. He put on a coat with pinted tails and kinder -low necked in front, and they let him in quick as a -wink. Josiah said, when I told him about it, that -if he had known it he would have gin Martin the -loan of his dressin’-gown.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “Of course that would’ve opened the doors -to once.</p> - -<p>“The French love beauty, and that dressin’-gown, -when the tossels are combed out and looped up as -they ort to be, would set off any buildin’ and ornament -it.” Sez he, “I wouldn’t lend it on any common -occasion, but Martin has done so much for us -I would make the venter.”</p> - -<p>It wouldn’t have been let in, but it showed Josiah’s -good sperit, anyway.</p> - -<p>But, if you’ll believe it, Alice had to leave her -bunnet out in the anty-room and go in bare-headed.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_517">[Pg 517]</span></p> -<p>I wouldn’t have done it for nothin’ in the world—no, -you wouldn’t have ketched me a-reskin’ my bunnet -by leavin’ it out-doors. Why, the ribbin on -that bunnet cost twenty-five cents per yard, besides -the bunnet itself, and that wuz only four years old, -a-goin’ on five.</p> - -<p>When Alice told me on it I sez, “It is a shame -to make wimmen go in bareheaded, and,” sez I, -“what would Paul say? He said it wuz a shame -for wimmen to appear in public without bunnets -on.”</p> - -<p>“But I thought,” sez Josiah, “that you always -thought Paul wuz a-meddlin’ with what didn’t concern -him, and he’d better kep’ to morals and let millinery -business alone. You’d never let me bring up -them texts.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I impressively, “there is a time to -quote and a time not to quote.</p> - -<p>“I should have argued with that doorkeeper, anyway, -and, if necessary, brung up the Bible to him.”</p> - -<p>And Alice bought lots of fine things while we were -there—her Pa wanted her to. He bought a lot, -too.</p> - -<p>He said that he could git the same things through -a dealer he knew in New York considerable cheaper, -“but,” sez he, “it doesn’t have the same name. -Anything brought from Paris is so dreadful distinguished.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_518">[Pg 518]</span></p> - -<p>And I spozed that he wuz in the right on’t, and -I felt that I too would love to branch out and buy -sunthin’ that I could tell the neighbors come right -from Paris, France.</p> - -<p>And I beset Josiah to buy me a summer -shawl, but he said that he’d seen my -summer shawl for so many years wropped -round the form he loved so, that the idee -of seein’ me in any other shawl wuz repugnant -to him.</p> - -<p>Wall, then I laid to and tried to git him -to buy me a handkerchief pin; but he said -that old cameo that I had on looked so -beautiful. He said so many memories -hung round that shell face on it that he -couldn’t bear to see me with any other on.</p> - -<p>And so it wuz with my winter bunnet. Sez he, -“Oh, the times I have seen that bunnet a-frontin’ -up to me when I’ve stood by the meetin’-house -door a-waitin’ for you, and it looked so perfectly -lovely to me, as I stood there with cold legs and -I ketched sight on it a-hallowin’ your face round -as I see it a-comin’ towards me! No other bunnet -could ever look to me as that did.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_519">[Pg 519]</span></p> -<p>And so with my shues, and my gloves, and every -other article; they wuz all so dear to him, and he -showed his affection to ’em and me so plain that I -couldn’t bear to hurt his feelin’s by gittin’ any new -ones.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp56" id="i_518" style="max-width: 10em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_518.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>A-wipin’ my face on sech -genteel towels.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>But I sez, “I need some towels, and have got to -have ’em.” So he give a reluctant consent, and I -swung out and bought two new huckabuck towels, -and I spoze Miss Gowdey and Sister Ganzey will -be surprised and sort of envious to see me a-wipin’ -my face on sech genteel towels, brung from sech a -fashionable place, for I lay out to use ’em and not -lay ’em up—for, as the Sammist sez, slightly -changed—</p> - -<p>“You may lay up towels, but how do you know -who shall gather ’em?”</p> - -<p>Wall, when the time come for me to leave France -I felt bad, for besides all the reasons I have named, -lots of thoughts hovered over the land and made it -dretful interestin’ to me.</p> - -<p>Victor Hugo, brave old exile, trompled on, but -like a rich flower, the tromplin’ brought out their -rarest odor.</p> - -<p>Who knows whether we should ever had “Les -Miserables” if he had stayed to home and been made -much on?</p> - -<p>Mebby the sentences of that incomparable book, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_520">[Pg 520]</span>that stun our minds and hearts, like the quick, -sharp echoes of artillery at sea—mebby they would -have been longer drawed out, and less apt to strike -the mark, if he hadn’t been sent into exile.</p> - -<p>And Josephine, and Napoleon, and Louis, and -Eugenie, and the poor young Prince Louis—memories -of all on ’em jest walked up and down the -bright, beautiful streets with me, and cast a sort of -a melancholy shadder on the brightness, some like -the soft, deep shadders of a cypress-tree on a clean -flower-bed.</p> - -<p>Yes, I had emotions enough while I wuz in -France, if that wuz all—I didn’t suffer for <i>them</i>—not -at all.</p> - -<p>Martin, from the first to the last, through every -country we visited, drawed up comparisons between -’em and America—to the great advantage -to America.</p> - -<p>He boasted over our country on our tower as -eloquent as a Fourth of July oriter ever did from -the wilds back of Loontown.</p> - -<p>I hated to hear him callin’ every other country -all to nort, and told him so. And in the cause of -Duty I told him of several things these countries -went ahead of ourn in; but he waved ’em off, and -sez he, with a dignified sort of scorn:</p> - -<p>“Bring up one, if you can.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_521">[Pg 521]</span></p> -<p>“Wall,” sez I, a-lookin’ round on the inside of -my mind, and takin’ up the first idee that happened -to be in sight—“look at that great society, that -seems like the mission of angels, to help relieve the -wants of the wounded and dyin’ on the battle-field—the -Red Cross, the gleam of which, a-fallin’ -on the dyin’ soldier, lights up his face with hope -and courage. The foreign nations protect that -insigna—they keep it sacred to this sacred cause; -while the Goverment of the United States allows -it to be used on liquor casks, and cigar boxes, and -etc., etc., a-trailin’ its glorious beams in the mud -and dirt for a little money.</p> - -<p>“Why, the noble woman who stands a-holdin’ up -the Red Cross, a-tryin’ to have its pure rays fall -only on the victims of war, pestilence, famine, and -other national calamities—she has to see it a-shinin’ -jest as bright on the causes of national crime and -shame. How must she feel to see it go on?</p> - -<p>“Uncle Sam has been urged year after year to -protect this insigna, and I should think that he -would feel a good deal as if somebody wuz a-urgin’ -him to not stun meetin’-housen, and whip grandmas -and babies—I should think that he would sink -down with shame for permittin’ sech things to go -on.</p> - -<p>“I declare I d’no what that old creeter will -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_522">[Pg 522]</span>do next. I believe he’d sell the steelyards that -Jestice weighs things in, if he could git a few cents -for ’em; and I d’no but he’ll use that bandage -of hern that she wears over her eyes to stop up -bung-holes in whiskey barrels; he seems to be -bendin’ his hull mind on helpin’ the liquor traffic.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp55" id="i_523" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_523.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">I believe he’d sell the steelyards that Jestice weighs things -in, if he could git a few cents for ’em.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“He tries me dretfully. But mebby he’ll brace -up and do right in this matter of the Red Cross. -I mean to tackle him about it, anyway, when I git -a good chance.</p> - -<p>“And then,” sez I, “our country is jest as much -behind these European countries in beauty and art -as Josiah’s new wood lot is that he is jest a-clearin’ -off, with stumps and brushwood a-lyin’ on every -side, compared with what that lot would be after -centuries of improvements and culter had -smoothed the ground off into velvet lawns, with -posey beds, like rainbows and fountains a-sparklin’ -on it, etc., etc.</p> - -<p>“America, to foller out the metafor, has only -jest got her giant trees chopped down—the stumps -stand thick, the brushwood lays round in fallers.” -Sez I, “It will take years and years and years to -give America the beauty and perfection these -countries have been growin’ gradual for centuries.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_523">[Pg 523]</span></p> -<p>“We’ll do it, Martin,” sez I; “we’ll git even -with ’em, and then go ahead on ’em—as fur ahead -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_524">[Pg 524]</span>as Lake Superior is bigger than their inland -lakes—”</p> - -<p>“Lakes!” sez Martin scornfully—“ponds, you -mean.”</p> - -<p>But I went on in not mindin’ him.</p> - -<p>“Or the St. Lawrence is bigger than the Rhine, -but it will take a long, long time. And then -in a lot of other things these countries are superior -to ourn. They train their children better in some -of these countries. Their children have as much -agin reverence and respect for parents and gardeens, -and them who are in authority, as American -children have. Why, a English or a German -mother would faint away with horrow to see a lot -of American children behave, and boss round their -folks, and act. And then look at—”</p> - -<p>I wuz jest on the pint of bringin’ up a lot more -of things in which these countries excelled ourn, -when Martin looked at his watch, and sed that he -must be in a distant part of the city in ten minutes -by the clock; so he went out. I presoom he hated -to lose my eloquent and instructive remarks; but -he had to go.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_525">[Pg 525]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXVIII">CHAPTER XXVIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">GERMANY AND BELGIUM.</p> - -<p>Martin sed he shouldn’t think of travellin’ in -Germany, as he had made a very exhaustive study -of the country on a visit he’d paid it some years before. -I knew Alice had been there two years, a-stayin’ -with a Miss Ponsione, a music-teacher, as nigh -as I could make out, a kind of foreign creeter, I -guess.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I gave more exhaustive attention to Germany -than to any other country in Europe, and I -would not wish to make a needless expenditure of -time there.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Martin, how long a time did you stay in -Germany?”</p> - -<p>“Over a week,” sez he.</p> - -<p>Wall, thinkses I, accordin’ to his idees that is -considerable of a time. Alice, of course, didn’t care -to stay there long, as she had stayed there all durin’ -her vacations, and took excursions all over the -country with that Miss Ponsione and her folks; -there seemed to be a hull lot of ’em, all girls, as nigh -as I could make out.</p> - -<p>And it wuz from her <span class="pagenum" id="Page_526">[Pg 526]</span>that I learnt that her Pa -had fell and sprained his ankle and hurt his head, -and wuz bed-sick all the time he wuz in Germany; -he wuzn’t able to lift his head from the piller, and -so I guess it wuz ruther exhaustin’ -study he gin to it. -But I wanted to see the Rhine—I -wanted to see “Fair Bingen -on the Rhine,” I wanted to -like a dog, and I told Alice so.</p> - -<p>But she said Bingen looked -jest about like any other city. -And come to think on’t, I -spoze it wuz the homesick -longin’ for his own country -that made the “Soldier of the -Legion” want to see it so bad, -and made its seenery seem -fairer and lovelier, and made its -moonlight fairer and brighter -than that which looked down -on that fur-off battle-field, -where his body lay, and his -homesick sperit a-wanderin’ off to “Fair Bingen on -the Rhine.”</p> - -<p>I eppisoded this to Josiah, and he sez with a sad -look on his face—he wuz awful beat out, and his -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_527">[Pg 527]</span>corns ached fearful—“Yes, that is it, I feel jest so; -I could talk jest as melogious and affectin’ this minute -about ‘Fair Jonesville on the Lyme.’”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “You may feel jest as bad, Josiah, but you -can’t write sech poetry as that.”</p> - -<p>“Whattle you bet?” sez he, a-settin’ the bottle of -liniment on the stand; he’d been tryin’ to irrigate -them corns of hisen and quell ’em down some. -“Whattle you bet I can’t?”</p> - -<p>Sez I mildly, “That Soldier of the Legion wuz -dyin’ in Algiers.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “I’m a-dyin’ in France; what’s the -difference?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “His talk about his distant home is enough -to make anybody weep.”</p> - -<p>“Home!” sez he. “Can’t I talk about home? -Why,” sez he, “if I should swing right out into -poetry and describe my feelin’s, nobody would look at -that soldier’s verses agin, if I should let myself out and -tell the beauties of Jonesville, and what we’ve been -through sence we left its blessed presinks; why that -soldier didn’t begin to know what trouble wuz. He -wuz a single man,” sez he.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp52" id="i_526" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_526.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">No attention paid to rumatiz, or meal -times, or corns.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I looked coldly at him, and he hastened to add -with a deep groan, “Oh, what hain’t we been -through, in verse or out on’t—what hain’t we been -through! two old folks snaked through Europe by -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_528">[Pg 528]</span>a Martin and Fashion; no attention paid to rumatiz, -or meal times, or corns, or anything, and one of -them dum old fools,” sez he impressively, and in a -kind of a rhymin’ axent, “wuz born in Jonesville—‘fair -Jonesville on the Lyme.’”</p> - -<p>I wuz born myself pretty nigh the town of Lyme, -jest over the line, but I wouldn’t contend.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I could make up hull books of poetry -on our tower better than hisen, enough sight.”</p> - -<p>“No you can’t, Josiah,” sez I; “jest think of -them beautiful messages he sent back to them distant -friends of hisen; it hain’t in you to write like -that.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, it <i>is</i> in me, mom; and messages! Gracious -Peter! couldn’t I send messages back? Couldn’t I -send heart-breakin’ messages to the children, and -Ury, and Philury, and Deacon Henzy, and Uncle -Sime Bentley, and the rest of the meetin’-house -bretheren—couldn’t I send word to ’em—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“When they meet and crowd around</div> - <div class="verse indent0">The horse-block by the meetin’-house, that dear old talkin’ ground?</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>“Couldn’t I warn the hull caboodle on ’em to -stay where they be, in that beautiful, beautiful place; -to never traipse a million milds from home on a -tower? Let ’em hear my dyin’ words to stay where -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_529">[Pg 529]</span>they be. Oh, what volumes I could say to them -companions and friends if I could git holt of their -ears once! I wouldn’t want ’em to think I wuz -rambelous and back slid—no, I would want ’em -to know I felt like sayin’ in these last hours -that—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“‘I am a married man and not afraid to die.’”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>I looked dretful cold at him; I hain’t no idee -what he meant, if he meant anything, and he hastened -to add—</p> - -<p>“If they hain’t dum loonaticks and crazy as loons -they’ll stay where they be,” sez he, in that same -rhymin’ axent—</p> - -<p>“They’ll stay right there in Jonesville, fair Jonesville -on the Lyme.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “That hain’t poetry, Josiah.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, it’s good solid horse sense, the hull of it, -and the last line is poetry.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “One line don’t make poetry.” I wuz sorry -I said it, for he turned his eyes up towards the ceilin’ -in deep thought a minute, and then he kinder -recited out in blank verse, or considerable blank, -though it rhymed some—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“A leadin’ man of Jonesville lay dyin’ in—”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>He hesitated for a minute, and seemed to be lookin’ -round the room for a word, and finally his eye -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_530">[Pg 530]</span>fell onto his feet—he had jest drawed his boot on -agin, and I spoze the pain wuz fearful, but it seemed -to gin him an idee—and he begun agin—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“A leadin’ man of Jonesville lay dyin’ in his boots,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">There wuz dearth of rest and intment, or food, or healin’ roots;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">But his pardner sot beside him—”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Here he gin me a witherin’ look; I spoze I wuz -a-smilin’ some. He can’t write poetry, that man -can’t, and mebby I showed my knowledge of the fact -in my mean.</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“His pardner sot beside him, a-jeerin’ at his woe,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And unto her he faintly sed, in axents wan and low,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">‘I’ve a message and a groan or two, to send most any time,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">To distant friends in Jonesville, fair Jonesville on the Lyme.’”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Yes, I wuz sorry enough I mentioned that poem, -for before night that man had a hull string of -verses writ off, and he recited ’em to me anon, or -oftener. They went on a-recountin’ all the peace and -beauty of Jonesville, and the delights of stayin’ there -and takin’ solid comfort and happiness, and the -tribulations two old folks went through away from -that blissful spot, with their bodies moved round -from place to place on a tower, and the verses most -all on ’em ended with these lines, some like the melancholy -accompaniment of a trombone—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_531">[Pg 531]</span></p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“And one old fool wuz born in Jonesville,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Fair Jonesville on the Lyme.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And some on ’em wuz stronger—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“And one dum old fool wuz born in Jonesville,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Fair Jonesville on the Lyme.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>His axents on these last words wuz affectin’ in -the extreme, and he seemed to think I ort to shed -tears when he said ’em, and I didn’t know but I -<i>had</i> ort to, but I wuz in sunthin’ of a hurry a new -bindin’ a petticoat, and I thought I wouldn’t.</p> - -<p>One verse wuz as follers, and I presoom his feelin’s -about the delights of our home wuz powerful -as he writ it:</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Tell Ury and Philury to joyous wash the pan,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">To worship all the barn chores, adore the milky can,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">The Jerseys, oh, in happier hours I driv ’em through the crick,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Oh, angel calves, oh, did I e’er hit one on ’em with a stick?</div> - <div class="verse indent0">The lovely, sweet young critters might kick me time and time,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">If I wuz back in Jonesville, fair Jonesville on the Lyme.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And there wuz one to Thomas J., and one to -Tirzah—</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_532">[Pg 532]</span></p> -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Tell Tirzah Ann that other Pars must comfort her young age,”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>etc., etc., etc., all put down jest as if he wuz in a -dyin’ state; no regularity or symetry in the lines, -but powerful in feelin’s. There wuz more’n twenty-one -on ’em. I didn’t hear all on ’em—I wouldn’t, -and we had some words.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin wuz sot on not goin’ to Germany, -till Adrian sed he would love to see the Rhine. -That settled it—the Rhine wuz seen. That man -would go through fire and water if his little pardner -jest motioned him that way.</p> - -<p>And that very fact, I felt, shed a perfect halo -round Martin Smith. It showed that deep down -in the nater of the man, all covered up by layers -of pride, worldiness, fashion, ambition, etc., there -wuz a fount of pure water a-springin’; but few indeed -could pierce down to it. Alice can, and -Adrian can, but nobody else, so fur as I know; but -that love permeates everything he sez and duz.</p> - -<p>As wuz nateral on French sile, we got to talkin’ -about poor young Prince Louis, the pride of the -third Napoleon—the very heart and soul of his -beautiful Ma. His sad fate seemed to impress -Adrian dretfully. He wuz dretful sorry for him, -and sed he wuz. Good little creeter! Any tale of -sadness and sorrer found a ready sympathy in his -tender, generous young breast. But Martin seemed -to draw a different moral from it, and sez he,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_533">[Pg 533]</span> -when I wuz a-tellin’ how sorry I wuz for his poor -Ma, sez he—</p> - -<p>“She ought to have looked ahead, she never -ought to have allowed him to go into such danger, -she ought to do as I do. I always surround my -boy with safeguards to keep him out of danger’s -way entirely, and therefore he is safe.”</p> - -<p>But I sez, “Martin, in this world it is hard to -tell always where danger is, and who is really safe.”</p> - -<p>“But I know,” sez he, “because I am right with -him. If he was a child of poor parentage, now, -one of the masses, why, then, I grant you I could -not surround him with such safeguards, but as it is -Adrian is perfectly safe.”</p> - -<p>I felt that here it wuz a good place to gin a little -hint. Sez I, “Speakin’ of safeguards, Martin, have -you ever put them fenders on that line of cars of -yourn that they wanted you to?”</p> - -<p>“No!” sez he, speakin’ up pretty sharp.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Don’t you feel that you ort to, for the -sake of children whose Mas and Pas love them jest -as well as you do Adrian?”</p> - -<p>But he waived off that idee, sayin’, as usual, that -it wuzn’t expected that he wuz a-goin to spend his -life and fortune for the sake of the children of the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_534">[Pg 534]</span>masses, who, two thirds on ’em, wuz better off -dead than alive.</p> - -<p>I <i>hate</i> sech talk.</p> - -<p>But he went on to prove by statisticks how they -grew up to be criminals, and paupers, and Coxeyites, -and the world wuz well rid on ’em if they died -in childhood.</p> - -<p>I <i>hate</i> sech talk. He see my feelin’s, and he went -on jest as if nothin’ had been sed, and repeated that -Adrian wuz perfectly safe, and that his futer wuz -assured.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “I hope so, for he is a dretful -good little boy, and smart, and I hope he will make -a useful man.”</p> - -<p>“There is no other child in the world like him,” -sez Martin, “and he will have a great and successful -future. I shall attend to that.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” I sez agin, “I hope so,” and I truly did. -But I felt dubersome about thinkin’ that Martin -had it all in his own hands—this is sech a queer -world, and so kinder surprisin’ and changeable.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin wuz as good as his word, we didn’t -stay long in Germany, but seein’ that Adrian wanted -to see the Rhine, we sot out for it. We went -through Valenciennes on the night train, which Josiah -sed wuz indeed a blessin’, and he sed that Martin, -in some things, did show great tax.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_535">[Pg 535]</span></p> -<p>Sez I, “What do you mean?”</p> - -<p>“Why, you’d been a-wantin’ to git some of that -lace of theirn for a nightcap, or sunthin’, if you -hadn’t been sound asleep and a-snorin’.”</p> - -<p>I never snore, and he knows it. He is the one. -I may sometimes breathe a little hard, that’s all. -And I sez, willin’ to give him a woond for the onmerited -snore eppisode, sez I—</p> - -<p>“I can git some in Brussels; their lace wears like -iron.”</p> - -<p>He wuz earnest in a minute, deeply earnest. -Sez he—</p> - -<p>“If you knew, Samantha, how becomin’ your -nightcaps are, and how perfectly sweet you look -with the plain muslin ruffles round your dear face, -you wouldn’t speak of lace.”</p> - -<p>That “dear” touched my heart. He hadn’t used -the adjective in some time. But I wouldn’t promise -not to git any. I think he worried all the time -we wuz in Brussels, but he needn’t. I am a good -economizer, I didn’t lay out to git any—I had -above a yard of good Torchon to home. I didn’t -need any lace.</p> - -<p>Godfrey D. Bouillon stood up in plain sight jest -as he has been a-standin’ for a number of years, -a-holdin’ up the banner of the Cross. Good, determined -creeter he wuz.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_536">[Pg 536]</span></p> -<p>Wall, we went to see public buildin’s and towers, -from them one to three or four hundred feet high -to more megum ones, and galleries of paintin’s, and -parks and statutes; and one little statute rigged up -as a kind of a fountain, I won’t say nothin’ about—the -least sed the soonest mended. But it wuz a shame -and a disgrace, and if I’d had my way the poor little -creeter would have had at least a shirt put onto -him, or I would know the reason why.</p> - -<p>A perfect shame to behold!</p> - -<p>In the Museum of Paintings Josiah got real -skairt. He wuz kinder prowlin’ round, and he happened -to see a door partly open, and it wuz nateral, -so he sez, to kinder look in. But he shrunk back -in extreme perterbation, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“By Jehoshaphat, what have I done?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “What is it, Josiah?”</p> - -<p>Sez he, his face as red as anything, “A woman -jest dressin’ herself—she seems all broke up.”</p> - -<div class="figright illowp46" id="i_537" style="max-width: 20em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_537.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">A woman jest dressin’ herself—she -seems all broke up.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “you keep out of there; you stay -right by me.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, I lay out to!” he snapped out.</p> - -<p>Wall, I looked in myself. I had no curosity, but -I felt that I had better see if my pardner had done -any harm. And I see a young woman all kinder -crouched together a-holdin’ her clothes round her, -and I sez—</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_537">[Pg 537]</span></p> -<p>“Mom, you needn’t be afraid, my pardner -wouldn’t hurt a hair of your head.”</p> - -<p>She didn’t move a mite, but jest held her clothes, -what she had on, round her, and looked at me -kinder skairt. And I spoke up some louder, thinkin’ -mebby she wuz deef; sez I—</p> - -<p>“He is a deacon in the Jonesville -meetin’-house, mom, and -though fraxious a good deal of the -time, a likely man.”</p> - -<p>But jest at this junkter Martin -come up behind me, and told me -that it wuz a picter. I wuz dumbfoundered, -but so it wuz. The artist, -Wiertz by name, made quite -a number considerable like it; dretful -curous and surprisin’, but it is -a sight to see ’em.</p> - -<p>The meetin’-house of St. Gudale, -with its stained glass winders, wuz -extremely interestin’ to see; it is -most a thousand years old, but no one would mistrust -it. It looks fur better than our meetin’-house, -that hain’t over fourteen years old, if it is that. But, -then, it cost more.</p> - -<p>Martin and Josiah and Al Faizi driv out to see -the battlefield of Waterloo, only about six milds -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_538">[Pg 538]</span>away. They went in a English coach with a half a -dozen horses, and a bugle a-caracolin’ high and clear. -I never see Josiah in better sperits.</p> - -<p>I would have gone, too, but Alice wuzn’t well, nor -Adrian nuther, and I stayed with ’em; and I wuz -glad of a chance to rest my lower legs.</p> - -<p>I spoze they had a number of emotions as they -stood on that field where the Star of Austerlitz sot. -I did, where I wuz a-layin’ down or a-settin’ to home. -Truly to a feelin’ heart, who contemplates what -high ambitions tottled over that day, and what -powerful interests wuz involved, they may say truly -that they carry the battlefield of Waterloo in their -hearts.</p> - -<p>I thought on’t a sight. I had read what Victor -Hugo said about that battle, and Alfred Tennyson -and others had said about the Duke of Wellington, -a-praisin’ him up, and I had numerous feelin’s and -emotions, very powerful ones, indeed, very; but I -took good care of the children all the same.</p> - -<p>There wuz one place in Brussels that I wanted -to see as much as any other place I could look on -offen my tower, and that wuz where Charlotte -Brontë had spent those years, those quiet but dretful -tragic years of her life.</p> - -<p>So one day, when we wuz on our way home from -some big palace or monument—Martin wanted to -show off before us—I persuaded him to go a little -out of our way to that quiet street, to the kinder<span class="pagenum" id="Page_539">[Pg 539]</span> -old-fashioned house where the Professor ust to teach -school, and some of his folks live now and keep a -small school. They let us in when they found out -that we wuz Americans; truly that name opens all -sorts of foreign doors.</p> - -<p>It wuz a half holiday, and they let us walk -through the room where she ust to set and study, -and the old-fashioned garden where she ust to walk -and dream them strange dreams of hern, that afterwards -charmed the world.</p> - -<p>Though the folks here didn’t seem to think of -her as I did—no, indeed! They seemed to kinder -blame her for reflectin’ on ’em in her books. Still -they must respect to a certain degree the memory of -one that leads so many from distant lands to their -out-of-the-way home, jest to stand on the floor she -trod on; jest to look on the walls that rared up -around that great soul.</p> - -<p>What emotions Charlotte did have here! She -had more to bear than most folks knew of—yes, -indeed!</p> - -<p>What wuz that hantin’ grief that rung her soul -so that year in Brussels, that drove her, a devout -Protestant, into a Catholic church, to pour out her -agony in confession? Longin’ to give vent to the -sorrer that without that relief wuz mebby a-urgin’ -her to forgit it all in the long quiet.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_540">[Pg 540]</span></p> - -<p>Why, a pint bottle full of sweet turned bitter, -must have vent gin to it or else bust.</p> - -<p>Poor creeter! poor, little, lonesome creeter! -with her intense power of lovin’, and -her intenser tenderness of conscience.</p> - -<p>Gray old city, never did one tread -your streets with more need of heart -pity than she who wuz swept along by -her emotions that day into an alien -temple, a strange altar, and a strange -worship, seekin’ for rest, for help to live, -which is so much harder than to die.</p> - -<p>I know what the matter wuz—it -come to me straight, but I sha’n’t tell -it, it has got to be kep’.</p> - -<p>Wall, I had a large white handkerchief -with me, I took it a purpose, for I -thought more’n as likely as not I should -be melted into tears a-meditatin’ on her life and all -she had done to delight the world, and how after -her life-long struggles and her brief wedded happiness -she passed away.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp43" id="i_540" style="max-width: 20em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_540.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>I thought more’n likely -I should be melted into -tears.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>But no, this last thought kinder boyed me up—I -wuz glad to know that she lay asleep by the lonely -moors of Haworth. Its long purple wastes hanted -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_541">[Pg 541]</span>by her shade forever, a sleep never to be distracted -agin by her brother Patrick’s actin’ and behavin’, or -her pa’s morbid idees and ways, or her own private -heartache.</p> - -<p>Little, small-boneded, great-minded creeter! how -often I’ve pictered her lonesome life in that little -village, shet up in oncongenial surroundin’s, her -noble sperit beatin’ agin the bars of her environment; -a-settin’ on lonesome evenin’s in a bare, -silent room, a-pinin’ mebby for a word of sympathy, -and the clasp of a comprehendin’ hand, and the -great world a-praisin’ her fur off—<i>too fur</i>.</p> - -<p>Or else a-walkin’ up and down in the twilight -with her sisters a-plannin’ them strange stories of -theirn.</p> - -<p>And then I come back to the bare walls of the -school-room at Brussels, and I presoomed that on -these very bare walls we wuz a-lookin’ on Charlotte -had seen stand out vivid the strong, dark face of -Rochester, and the elfin figger of Jane, Shirley, -Caroline, Louis and Robert Moore, the Professor—yes, -indeed, she see <i>him</i>, I hain’t a doubt on’t—and -all these wonderful characters of hern, who seemed -more real friends and neighbors to me than them -who live under the chimblys I can see from my own -winders to home.</p> - -<p>Good, little, bashful creeter! sech genius as you -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_542">[Pg 542]</span>had the world will seek a good while for before it -finds agin.</p> - -<p>While these thoughts wuz a-goin’ on under my -best bunnet, Martin looked round sort o’ indifferent, -and sez he—</p> - -<p>“Who wuz she, anyway—some kind of a writer?”</p> - -<p>And I sez, “Yes.”</p> - -<p>“Historical or poetical?” sez he.</p> - -<p>And I sez, “Both.”</p> - -<p>I couldn’t bring my emotions down in that place -to explain, and I told the truth, anyway. Historys -she wrote that always will be true as long as hearts -beat and suffer. Poetry wuz in ’em, whose great -rythm hants the hearts of ’em whose ears are -tuned to understand the strange melodies. For no -two people can ever find the same things in a book—what -inspires you, and thrills your heart almost -to bustin’, will slip over the head and heart of somebody -else, and make no impression.</p> - -<p>Curous, hain’t it?</p> - -<div class="figright illowp55" id="i_543" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_543.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>A-leadin’ Adrian and a-plannin’ sunthin’ with -him relatin’ to a whistle.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Wall, we looked round for a long time—Josiah -not enjoyin’ himself a bit, so fur as I could see, but -a-leadin’ Adrian and a-plannin’ sunthin’ with him relatin’ -to a whistle he could make out of a stick.</p> - -<p>Alice’s soft eyes held sweetness and compassion, -but she owned that she’d never read the books.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi, too, wuz a stranger to ’em. But he -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_543">[Pg 543]</span>would have enjoyed ’em if he had—he’s made in jest -the right way.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin wuz in haste, and we left the sacred -spot, leavin’ a little gift, too, in the hands of the old -servant who showed us round.</p> - -<p>Antwerp, Düsseldorf, Cologne, -how they kinder swim -along in my mind as I think -of ’em—picters, picters, -church towers, bells, gardens, -steeples, music, stained-glass -winders, quiet seenery, -grand, impressive ditto, big -carriages, dorgs harnessed up -as horses.</p> - -<p>As we noticed the number -of these latter, my companion -begun to lay on plans -agin. Sez he—</p> - -<p>“Take our brindle, and -she that wuz Submit Tewksbury’s -yeller dorg—and she’d -lend her in a minute—and -what a team I could rig up with a little of Ury’s -help. I could take you to meetin’ to Jonesville -as easy as nothin’, and how uneek we would look -drawed along by a brindle and yeller dorg-team. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_544">[Pg 544]</span>It will, perchance, inaugerate a new era in navigation -in Jonesville, and dorg-teams will be in voge.</p> - -<p>“What a sensation we will create amongst the -Jonesvillians: you in your parasol and I in my -dressin’-gown, mebby. What a uneek spectacle!”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, coldly, “when you ketch me a-ridin’ -in that way, Josiah Allen, it will indeed create a -sensation, for I shall be no more. It will be when -my corse is senseless and cold.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, shaw! What comfort could I take then, -Samantha? It wouldn’t look very well for me to be -a-enjoyin’ myself a-swingin’ out in fashion then, -and I couldn’t wear the dressin’-gown or the tossels, -anyway. It beats all how you love to break up all -my plans for astonishin’ the Jonesvillians. You -know well enough that folks when they git back from -European towers always act different—more riz up -like, and reminescent, and astonishin’, and everything. -And you frown down all my plans, every -one on ’em”; and he sithed bitterly. But I wouldn’t -gin in to him, for I felt that Samantha and a dorg-team -wuz not synonomous terms; no, fur from it.</p> - -<p>Wall, in Cologne I’d been glad to bought a hull -bottle of cologne, but Josiah said to his mind there -wuz nothin’ on earth so sweet as the smell of caraway.</p> - -<p>I most always do up a little sprig on’t in my -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_545">[Pg 545]</span> -handkerchief when I go to meetin’, to kinder chirk -me up in my head some as the minister and my -mind are a-wanderin’ up from the 12thlies to the -“Finally, my dear hearers.”</p> - -<p>“But,” sez I, attacktin’ the weakest jint in his -armor, “cologne is so stylish.”</p> - -<p>“But,” sez he, and I couldn’t scold him for sayin’ -it—sez he, “don’t you remember how the caraway -grew amongst the roses in the old front yard to -Mother Smith’s?” Sez he, “You had a sprig of -caraway in your hand the very minute I asked you -to be my bride—I had a little snip on’t in my -pocket when I led you to the altar, and a big vase -of the white blows kinder riz up above the June -roses like a halo, right there on the altar.”</p> - -<p>He meant the cherry stand that we stood by, with -curly maple draws.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “Oh, them beautiful, holy memories! -And then,” sez he, with a look of deep content, “to -think of the cookies you’ve garnished with it -durin’ the beautiful years of our union.” Sez he, -“Nothin’ like the scent of caraway to me.”</p> - -<p>I wuz deeply moved by the sweet and tender -memories he invoked.</p> - -<p>Oh, summer hours! oh, old front garden, lit by -the settin’ sun a-shinin’ through the maples! I see it -agin, I almost feel the shadders of the tall lilock -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_546">[Pg 546]</span>bushes; I see the June roses a-shinin’ like rosy stars -above the deep lush grass, and the delicate white -tracery of the caraway a-hoverin’ over ’em like a -snowy mist.</p> - -<p>Oh, summer garden! oh, summer hours of life! -oh, beauty and bloom, divine sadness and rapter, -and rich promise of the glowin’ futer a-layin’ fur -off in the distance, like the sun in the glowin’ -west.</p> - -<p>My Josiah had brung ’em all back to me. What -wuz cologne or bergamot in them rapt hours?</p> - -<p>Men are deep.</p> - -<p>The cathedral is a sight to see. It is called one -of the most beautiful cathedrals in Europe, and they -don’t lie about it when they say it is. It wuz begun -eight or nine hundred years ago, and two hundred -men wuz to work at it. I wonder if they are slack. -Anyway, I don’t have any idee when they lay out -to finish it. I guess they are to work by the day. -I know jest how they acted when they wuz to work -at Josiah’s horse-barn. I believe it is better to -let barns, or cathedrals, or anything else out by -the job.</p> - -<p>Wall, if I should describe jest that one enormous -old meetin’-house, and what we see in it and about it, -it would take a book bigger than Foxe’s “Book of -Martyrs.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_547">[Pg 547]</span></p> -<p>I won’t try, but it wuz a sight, a sight to see—carvin’s, -statutes, picters, towers, canopies, arches, -altars, relicks, etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>Among the most interestin’ of the relicks wuz the -skulls of the three Wise Men who came to worship -the infant Christ. Here their old skulls wuz shown—they -sed they wuz theirn. I d’no, nor Josiah -don’t, whether they wuz the Wise Men or not, and -of course it wuz eighteen hundred years too late to -ask ’em. No, wise as they wuz, their bones wuz -on a par with the bones of the ’leven thousand virgins -that we see there in another meetin’-house.</p> - -<p>I d’no as they wuz virgins or not, or wuz massacreed, -as they sed. Martin sed it wuz a perfect -fraud. But I d’no either way. Anyway, there -the bones wuz, a real lot of ’em.</p> - -<p>Wall, I guess the hull on us wuz glad to git -onto the little steamer that wuz to take us up -the beautiful Rhine. And we found that it wuz -indeed beautiful, though after bein’ on sech intimate -terms as I had been with the St. Lawrence and -the Hudson, I wuzn’t a-goin’ to say I had never -seen any river so grand—no, indeed!</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_548">[Pg 548]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXIX">CHAPTER XXIX.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">SAMANTHA CLIMBS THE RIGHI.</p> - -<p>Our noble St. Lawrence could have took the -Rhine in if she had been in need and adopted her, -and let her run along with her, a-murmurin’ and -a-babblin’ as children will, and nobody would have -been the wiser only the old Saint herself.</p> - -<p>And the Hudson is jest as beautiful. No old -castles on the Rhine tower up so grand as Nater’s -old homesteads, the Palisades, where she has dwelt, -with Majesty, and Strength, and Sublimity, and -Beauty for hired help, for so many centuries, and is -a-livin’ there still in the same old place with the -same help. Them who have eyes to see, can see her -there right along day by day, and night by night, with -her help all round her. Sometimes the risin’ and -settin’ sun a-gildin’ their calm brows. And sometimes -the big, serene moon a-standin’ over ’em as if -lovin’ to linger with ’em. Their serene forwards -a-shinin’ with the love they have for him—or her -(I d’no whether to call the moon a him or a her. -It is so kinder changeable, my first thought wuz to -call it a him).</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_549">[Pg 549]</span></p> -<p>But to resoom. Yes, we found the Rhine beautiful. -It runs along in my memory now like a -beautiful paneramy right when I’m round the house -a-doin’ up my mornin’s work, or night-times when -I wake up ever or anon or oftener that fair picter -onfolds in front of me—the ripplin’ waters, the -shores sometimes smooth and grassy, with orchards -and vineyards; fields of grain, with wimmen a-workin’ -in ’em, as well as men; high rocky shores, with -grim old castles perched up on the cliffs, tree-embowered; -anon a wayside shrine, with the image of -the Virgin a-lookin’ calmly on us tired voyagers, or -the face of our Lord hallowin’ the spot, or the baby -Christ in his Ma’s arms. It made the spots where -we see ’em more lifted up, and made me feel kinder -safer, though I knew it wuz only some wood and -paint and glass it wuz made of. I spoze it wuz the -memories and thoughts they invoked that seemed -to hover over us some like wings.</p> - -<p>How it sweeps onward in my mind—high cliffs -three or four hundred feet high, with a picteresque -old castle perched on it; anon a bridge of boats -more’n a thousand feet long!</p> - -<p>Then I see, a-lookin’ onto the paneramy, dog-teams, -peasants, soldiers, beautiful towns, queer little -villages, lovely villas, humble cottages, green -grass, wavin’ trees, blue murmurin’ river. Ah, how -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_550">[Pg 550]</span>it floats along in front of my foretop! Coblentz—Thurnberg—then -the high cliff where the Siren ust -to set and sing. I wonder if she sets there now? -I mistrusted she’d kinder moved down into the vineyards. -She sings there a sight, lurin’ the wine lovers -right along to destruction.</p> - -<p>Oberwesel, Castle Schonberg, and right acrost, -like a faithful old pardner who has kep’ company -for centuries, the towerin’ old walls of Gutenfels.</p> - -<p>Right under my head-dress or nightcap the seen -moves along. Anon I see the splendid old castle -of Rheinstein way up above the river. Ehrenfel, -vineyards, vineyards, with Lurlei hid amongst ’em, -whether they believe it or not, and on the other, fur -up, the Mouse Tower, where selfishness got its pay -if it ever did.</p> - -<p>Bingen we found, jest as Alice sed, a quiet little -town, its marvellous beauty born in the homesick -longin’ of the soldier who lay dyin’ in Algiers.</p> - -<p>Johannesburg Castle would be dretful interestin’, -standin’ up as it duz three or four hundred feet high, -but the sights and sights of vineyards all round it -made me feel bad, dretful. But I’ve had my say -about that—sirens, etc., etc. What crazy acts -would the wine make these surroundin’ folks do! -That wuz a question I couldn’t answer, nor Josiah. -I wish they wouldn’t make so much; I wish they -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_551">[Pg 551]</span>would stop the mouth of Lurlei with good water, or -cold tea, or sunthin’ or other—she’d act like another -creeter if they did.</p> - -<p>But truly I couldn’t make ’em stop by eppisodin’ -or allegorin’.</p> - -<p>On, on we went by islands, fortifications, palaces, -villages.</p> - -<p>I didn’t want to see Wiesbaden, I didn’t want to -see card-playin’ and gamblin’ goin’ on—no, indeed.</p> - -<p>But I did want to stop at Frankfort-on-the-Main, -the birthplace of Goethe. And in thinkin’ on’t, I -mekanically repeated over the words I’d heard -Thomas J. rehearse a number of times—the homesick -words of Mignon—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Knowest thou the land where citron apples bloom,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And oranges like gold in leafy bloom?”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>She wanted to go back home, Mignon did, she -wanted to like a dog.</p> - -<p>But Martin sed he didn’t know as anybody had -ever made a specialty of visitin’ the birthplace of -Goethe.</p> - -<p>“And as for citron apples,” sez he, “your friend -evidently made a mistake in writing about them; -citrons grow on a vine; but,” sez he, “perhaps -Goethe was in the grocer line and was recommending -some new fruit.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_552">[Pg 552]</span></p> -<p>And I let it go so. Truly the author of “Wilhelm -Meister” would have advised me to let it pass and -go by.</p> - -<p>But when Martin learned that Rothschild wuz -born there, he sed that if he had had time he would -have loved to visit that hallowed spot.</p> - -<p>Martin thought he would stop and take a kind of -a rest at Heidelberg, and my two legs and my pardner -wuz glad enough of the rest—yes, indeed!</p> - -<p>Martin sed that any traveller of note made a -pint of visitin’ that spot, so it wuz on that account, -I spoze, that we stopped. He sed he -had seen a number of engravin’s of the place, and I -told him I had too.</p> - -<p>We stayed all night to a comfortable tarvern, -and had a good supper and breakfust. Josiah admitted -we had, though he sed—</p> - -<p>“Samantha, it don’t taste like your breakfusts; -oh, shall I ever partake of ’em agin in that blessed, -blessed home?”</p> - -<p>He suffers dretfully, that man duz. But I told -him that we should soon be to home agin now, and -to bear up.</p> - -<p>Wall, Heidelberg Castle is a sight, a sight to see. -All the picters we see of it in chromos and almanacks -and sech don’t give you any idee of how -grand, how vast it is.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_553">[Pg 553]</span></p> -<p>Why, imagine a buildin’ all covered with -carvin’s, and towers, and pinnakles, and with -moats, and drawbridges, and dungeons, and courtyards, -and banquet-halls, and decorations of all -kinds, as big as from our house over to Deacon -Henzy’s, and back round by Solomon Bobbettses, -and acrost to Seth Shelmadine’s, and so -on around the two cross-roads and back to our -house.</p> - -<p>Wall, reader, whether you believe it or not, -it covers as much ground as that, and you well -know how much ground that covers. Good -land! it is enough to make anybody’s -back ache to think of the days’ work it -took to build it. But, then, it wuzn’t all -done all in one job—it wuz begun a good -many hundred years ago. They didn’t shirk -their work, them old carpenters didn’t; -the makers of summer hotels could take -lessons of ’em in the matter of walls. It -would make one of them paper wall makers -swoon away to think of buildin’ a wall -twenty feet thick.</p> - -<p>I wish I had one of them rooms to -take round with me summers on my towers. -It would be impossible for -the sound of snorers to penetrate -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_554">[Pg 554]</span>into the apartment where one wuz vainly tryin’ to -woo the Goddess of Sleep. And midnight snickerers -would be futile to kill that Goddess with -their giggle-pinted arrers.</p> - -<p>Of course, a big part of this immense buildin’ -is in ruins.</p> - -<p>A handsome old stone platform or piazza that -them old builders made half way up the castle walls -I did want to see. It had everything it needed in -the way of sculpters, vases, carved seats, etc. And -the view, oh! my poor head-dress, it almost rises -now as the paneramy sweeps through my foretop, -it gives sech elevatin’ thoughts and emotions.</p> - -<p>How fur off, how fur off you could see—towns, -country, the blue Rhine, the mountains—oh, my -soul! wuz it not a fair seen, a fair seen!</p> - -<p>But the barrel, or, ruther, hogsit, to hold wine in, -it jest madded me to see it. Would you believe it -that the very worst old drunkard you ever see or -hearn on would make a hogsit as big as the Jonesville -tarvern to hold his liquor in?</p> - -<div class="figright illowp33" id="i_553" style="max-width: 20em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_553.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>A hogsit as big as the Jonesville -tarvern.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Wall, it is, sir, full as big as Seth Widrigses -tarvern. I won’t compare it to a meetin’-house, -no, you can’t make me; the idee would be too -sacrilegious to me.</p> - -<p>It wuz as big as Seth Widrigses tarvern, barrooms, -parlor, dinin’-room, bedrooms, ruff and all. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_555">[Pg 555]</span> -It holds two hundred and thirty-six thousand bottles -of wine.</p> - -<p>The idee! it’s a burnin’ shame! How many -fights can be shet up in it at one time—broken -hearts, broken heads, murders, etc., etc., etc.!</p> - -<p>I won’t talk about it another minute.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin sed that he spozed that it would -be expected of him to go and see the Righi.</p> - -<p>(I spozed that he thought that in his high, prominent -position in society he ort to see some of -the most riz-up places, so he settled on that.)</p> - -<p>Mont Blanc he sed he should not endeavor to -ascend, which wuz, indeed, a comfort to me; for -how I wuz a-goin’ to git up on that steep, icy -pinnakle with my heft and my rumatiz, to say -nothin’ of my umbrell and my pardner, wuz -more’n I knew. But if Martin had put his ultimatum -on that we must go, I knew that we should -have to make the venter.</p> - -<p>But he gin up the idee. He is a-gittin’ kinder -short-winded himself, though he don’t own up to -it. So we clumb the Righi. We rid up on that.</p> - -<p>Josiah wuz all carried away with the idee of goin’ -up that mountain, because the engine that took us -up, instead of bein’ hitched on ahead to pull us up, -wuz tackled on behind a-pushin’ us.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_556">[Pg 556]</span></p> -<p>Sez he, “Samantha, it will be sech a uneek ride. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_557">[Pg 557]</span>What will Uncle Sime Bentley say to it, and the -other Jonesvillians, when they hear on’t?”</p> - -<p>There it wuz—fashion, fashion and display. -From different standpints, he and Martin wuz jest -alike.</p> - -<p>But I knew that Josiah had some reason to be -sot up by it, for that way of goin’ up mountains -wuz a American idee at first.</p> - -<p>Josiah took considerable comfort a-goin’ up -(owin’ to the feelin’s I have depictered). But -bein’ of sech a restless temperament, he soon announced -that he wuz a-goin’ to git out and walk up. -“For,” sez he, “I want to git there some time -to-day, and I hain’t a-goin’ to creep along like a -snail.”</p> - -<p>But I seized him by his vest, and sez I—“Do -you set still; it will tucker you all out to walk up six -thousand feet!”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “I want to git there some time -or ruther.”</p> - -<p>We did indeed go slow, but sure; for in two -hours’ time we arrove on the summit, and wuz ensconsed -in a comfortable tarvern, from which, after Josiah -had satisfied his yearnin’s for food, and the rest -on us had refreshed ourselves with some refreshments, -we sallied forth to see the grandeur as well -as beauty of Nater; to behold what she can do -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_558">[Pg 558]</span>when she humps herself, so to speak, and makes -glory.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_556" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_556.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>We did indeed go slow, but sure; for in two hours’ time we arrove on the summit.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Wall, the view from the top of that mountain I -can’t never describe. I stood perfectly spellbounded, -and looked fur off down the mountain-side, and -see cities, and villages, and farm-housen, and sparklin’ -streams, and, fur down below, beautiful Lucerne -and eight other lakes.</p> - -<p>And on the off side the chain of snowy Alps -a-meltin’ upwards into the blue of the summer sky, -twelve thousand feet high, and on the nigh side -forests, hills, mountains.</p> - -<p>Oh, wuz it not a fair seen—a fair seen!</p> - -<p>I stood perfectly lost and by the side of myself. -The grandeur and beauty of the seen wuz so overwhelmin’ -that, entirely onbeknown to myself, my -bunnet had fell backward on my neck, and I stood -bareheaded, jest as men do before a great heroine -or hero. (I spoze it is jest as proper to call the -Righi a female as a male; anyway, she stood up so -dretful calm and serene it didn’t seem as if a male -could hold that poster and calmness so early in the -mornin’. You know, males are dretful restless and -oneasy early in the mornin’. The work of the day -kinder takes the tuck out of ’em, and they grow -more sedater.)</p> - -<p>But, anyway, I stood there bareheaded, jest as -anybody ort to before the great Presence. The on-matchable -grandeur of the seen—the sun a-beatin’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_559">[Pg 559]</span> -down onnoticed on my gray “crown of glory,” when -I hearn a voice clost beside me, and the words kinder -brung me back, for I had been quite a distance -away from the real world of trouble and tourists -and things.</p> - -<p>The voice said—“For the land’s sake! I wouldn’t -run the risk you do of tanning myself all up, for -anything in the world.”</p> - -<p>I wuz brung clear down, and I looked round, and -I see standin’ clost to me a female, jedgin’ from -her matronly form and her gray hair, that kinder -meandered down on the neck of her ulster behind, -of about my own age, or a little older, mebby. Yes, -she wuz probble a number of years older, and -though our hefts wuz jest about alike, she hadn’t -got nigh so noble a figger.</p> - -<p>She had two veils over her face besides a lace one—two -braize veils, a green and a brown one, and -carried a big umbrell, histed up to its full height, -the umbrell a-lookin’ firm and decided, as if it calculated -to shet off all the grandeur the braize veils -didn’t make out to.</p> - -<p>Sez she, as I slowly turned round and brung my -spectacles to bear on her with a gray flame of wonder -and surprise a-shinin’ through each one on ’em—</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_560">[Pg 560]</span></p> -<p>Sez she, “I wouldn’t tan my nose as you’re tanning -yours for worlds like this.”</p> - -<p>I sez mekanically, “Why, why not tan your -nose?”</p> - -<p>“Why, it would detract so from my looks; a -nose adds so much to the looks of a human face,” -sez she.</p> - -<p>That sounded reasonable, and I sez, “Yes, that -is so; a nose is necessary, both for beauty and for -use; but,” sez I, “at our age a nose or two more or -less, or a little tan on some on ’em hain’t a-goin’ -to either make or break us—they won’t draw much -attention,” sez I. “And even if they did, I expect -to enjoy the society of my nose for quite a number -of years yet, on towers and off on ’em, but this seen -of grandeur I’m a-biddin’ good-bye to,” sez I, sadly—</p> - -<p>“It is hail, and farwell, to me—I never expect -to see it agin with these mortal eyes.” And I -looked off on the lovely seen agin with all the rapter -and sadness sech thoughts carry with ’em, when -agin my rapt emotions wuz brung downward by -the voice—</p> - -<p>“Well, I know I wouldn’t run the risk you do -of spoiling my complexion for thousands of worlds -like this.” -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_561">[Pg 561]</span>I felt that she needed roustin’ up and improvin’ -upon, and I sez—</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_562">[Pg 562]</span></p> -<p>“Mom, I believe you’d enjoy Nater as much -agin, if not more, if you’d forgit your complexion. -Let your nose retire into the background, so to -speak, and open the winders of your soul to the -divine influences—look about and soar away, so to -speak. And how you can do that under three -veils and that umbrell is more’n I can tell.”</p> - -<p>Sez she, confidentially, “I am dead tired of seeing -things, anyway—I love to rest my eyeballs.”</p> - -<p>“Then,” sez I, pityin’ly, “what be you up here on -the Rigi for? What made you climb up so fur?”</p> - -<p>“Well,” sez she, “I came with a party of Cook -tourists, and you know just what they are for boasting; -I’m not going to have them crow over me because -they have been where I haven’t. Three of -them are bed-sick at the hotel, but they can say with -truth that they have been here. Two of the girls -have to wear bandages over their eyes, and can’t see -a thing, but they both have emulative Mas, who -are bound that they shan’t be out-travelled by the -rest of the girls, and so they are leading them -round through Europe; blind as bats, but full of -the true Cook fervor of travel.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp63" id="i_561" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_561.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">They have emulative Mas, who are bound that they shan’t -be out-travelled.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“Oh, dear me!” sez I, “how bad it is for ’em!”</p> - -<p>“No; they enjoy it. The doctor says all they -need is quiet and rest to restore their eyesight, and -they will have it when this cruel war is over and -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_563">[Pg 563]</span>they get home. One of them is my own girl,” sez -she, in a burst of confidence, “and I’m out here -unknown to the rest; so my girl has outdone them, -so to speak, for of course it is just the same as if -she stood here where her Ma stands, in this be-a-u-ti-ful -place, looking at this magnificent -scenery.”</p> - -<p>And she turned her wropped-up -face towards the tarvern door, -and faced round towards Josiah.</p> - -<p>But truly she wuzn’t to blame, -she couldn’t see through that -envelopin’ drapery. The tarvern -might have been a waterfall, and -my Josiah a Alp for all she -knew.</p> - -<p>I felt quite curous, but consoled -myself a-thinkin’ they wuz -a-follerin’ their own goles, and -would all set on ’em when they -got home.</p> - -<p>Wall, it wuz that very afternoon that I heard my -first yodellin’—the melogious cry of the Alpine -shepherds to one another. Clear and sweet it rung -through the still air—Ye-o-lo-leo-leo-leo—</p> - -<div class="figright illowp53" id="i_563" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_563.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Ye-o-lo-leo-leo-leo—the melogious -cry of the Alpine shepherds.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Melogious as any music you ever hearn, only sort -o’ bell-like, and pecular. And while you stand -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_564">[Pg 564]</span>spellbound and wantin’ to hear it agin the answer -comes, sweet, fur away, clear—</p> - -<p>Ye-a-oo-ye-ho-oo—</p> - -<p>It wuz like nothin’ I ever hearn in my life, and -yet seemed sort o’ familar to me, after all, as all -true beauty in sight and sound duz seem to its devotees, -he or she.</p> - -<p>Wall, I wuz so lost in my own feelin’s of delight, -and so carried away some distance by ’em, that I -clean forgot that I wuz still in the flesh and still had -a earthly pardner by the name of “Josiah.” But -I wuz too soon fetched back to a realizin’ sense on’t.</p> - -<p>For even as the sweet echoes wuz a-floatin’ back -from peak to peak lingerin’ly, as if they wuz loth to -let go on ’em, a voice spoke beside me—</p> - -<p>“You’ll hear yodellin’ when we git home, -Samantha Allen. Hereafter I shall never say ‘co-boss, -co-boss’ to cows, or ‘co-day, co-day’ to sheep; -after this I shall always yodel to ’em. Why,” sez -he, “what a stir it will make in Jonesville! how the -inhabitants will gather round me as I stand on the -blackberry hill and yodel acrost to the creek paster! -Why,” sez he, all carried away with the subject, as -his nater is, “mebby I can learn Uncle Sime Bentley, -so he can yodel back to me; mebby,” sez -he, growin’ ambitious, “I shall yodel to Sister Bobbett -and she that wuz Submit Tewksbury.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_565">[Pg 565]</span></p> -<p>Sez I coldly—“Do you confine your yodellin’ to -dumb brutes, Josiah, who hain’t got sensibilities nor -feelin’s to be woonded.”</p> - -<p>“Mebby you hain’t willin’ I should yodel to Ury; -but I’ll let you know I shall anyway, mom!”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “he is used to your performances; -he won’t mind ’em so much.”</p> - -<p>I knew it wuzn’t best to draw the string too tight; -I knew I couldn’t break up his yodellin’ out to the -barn, or round, when I wuzn’t in sight, and I felt -that I would be glad to confine it to dumb brutes, -and Ury, and sech.</p> - -<p>Wall, anon, after passin’ through lovely seens—lovely -ones, we found ourselves on beautiful Lake -Lucerne, the most beautiful lake in Switzerland, or -the hull world, for all I know—beautiful, beautiful -for situation it is. You could spend weeks a-admirin’ -the lovely views, and then begin agin and keep -it up for years.</p> - -<p>And before long we found ourselves, much to my -pardner’s relief, in a good tarvern with a long Swiss -name, that I always forgit, and called it to myself -“The Swizzler,” which wuz jest as good so fur as -I wuz concerned.</p> - -<p>We didn’t stay here long, owin’ to Martin’s pecular -views. But we hearn the organ in the old -cathedral, and I wuz carried fur away from myself -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_566">[Pg 566]</span>into the land of happiness, love, and peace, into the -realm—where is it?—that lays so nigh to us, that a -burst of glorious music will sweep us right into its -gates, but so fur off that we hain’t never ketched a -glimpse of its glorified mountains with -our nateral eyes.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi wuz carried into that same -realm, too, I could see by his mean, -and the rest on ’em wuz carried off -wherever their nateral bent lay—Alice -into the land of Love and Hope, -Martin into the Stock Exchange -mebby, where the roar of its bulls -and bears drownded out the sound of -the organ’s grand, melancholy voice.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp45" id="i_566" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_566.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Listening to the organ’s grand, -melancholy voice.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And Josiah, wall, mebby he wuz -a-settin’ agin to a full dinner table in -Jonesville, with Deacon Sypher and -Drusilly and some of the other bretheren -and sistern a-hangin’ breathless -onto his adventers.</p> - -<p>I d’no, I’ve only guessed at their emotions, but -mine wuz a sight to see as the liquid waves of melody -swep’ round me, and swep’ me along with it.</p> - -<p>And then we see the Lion of Lucerne, a-layin’ -there carved out of solid rock, in memory of the -Swiss Guard, who fell defendin’ the Tuilleries in -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_567">[Pg 567]</span>1792. It wuz carved by Thorwaldsen, the great -Danish sculptor, and is a noble and impressive sight. -There it lay in a beautiful grotto, with water tricklin’ -all round it, some as if the hull country wuz -a-sheddin’ tears over them poor young men that -perished in their prime. It lay stretched out, its -hull length of twenty-eight feet, a-holdin’ in its -paws the shield of France and some flower de luce—France -is jest sot on them poseys, and I always -liked them myself; I’ve got a big root of ’em under -my bedroom winder at home in Jonesville.</p> - -<p>I thought considerable in our short sojourn at -Lucerne about William Tell, whose exploits with -Gessler, apples, etc., took place in that vicinity -(though I’ve hearn tell that Tell hain’t the creeter -they tell on).</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp59" id="i_568" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_568.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>I thought considerable about William Tell and his exploits with -Gessler, apples, etc.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>But I always loved to read about him, and I -always did kinder love to believe in things that ort -to be true, if they hain’t—about liberty, freedom, and -sech. Anyhow, he has got a high chapel built to -him—mebby like some other popular idees, that -haint got no greater foundation in solid truth.</p> - -<p>Though, agin, what is truth?</p> - -<p>Hard question.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_568">[Pg 568]</span></p> -<p>Wall, our way on to Lake Geneva wuz like a dream -of glory and grandeur, full of mountain peaks, -green and snow-clad, and flashin’ waterfalls, with -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_569">[Pg 569]</span>little side dreams of sweet green valleys—“sweet -fields arrayed in livin’ green”—quaint villages, cosey -little housen, swift dashin’ waterways, and gently -flowin’ rivers.</p> - -<p>Interlaken, Freiburg, Lausanne, how they look -out of the paneramy at me when I shet my -eyes in the Jonesville meetin’-house or anywhere, -and onto the blue lake that Byron writ so much -about.</p> - -<p>Alice had beset her Pa to take her to Castle -Chillon. And I had strange feelin’s, I can tell you, -as I walked down the road with Josiah Allen by -my side—from Jonesville meetin’-house to the -Castle of Chillon—what a leap! Could Fancy cut -up any stranger? I spozed we should have to take -a boat to reach it, and so they did in old times, but -now the water has filled in so, that, like the Israelites, -we passed over dry shod.</p> - -<p>The castle is over a thousand years old. Some say -the Lake Dwellers built it, and in talkin’ about -them queer creeters, who dwelt a thousand years -ago in housen built up on posts stuck in the water, -I had another trouble with my too ardent and susceptible -pardner. Sez he—</p> - -<p>“Samantha, what a beautiful way of livin’ that -would be—how cool and pleasant in summer -weather, and so handy; no luggin’ in water to fill -the tank, no pumpin’, jest lean right out of the buttery -winder and draw in a pailful, and then how<span class="pagenum" id="Page_570">[Pg 570]</span> -easy to lower the milk in the water to cool. Why, -we could have the milk-room built jest below the -surface, and set the milk pans right into the lake, as -it were. What butter we could make, how it would -be sought for! And then the idee of settin’ in your -own back door and fishin’ for pike and sturgeons, -draw ’em right up and land ’em on the kitchen -table, not a foot off from the briler. How convenient! -And bathin’ now, you’re always a-tewin’ -at me about it—washin’ my feet, it’s always a job—but -now jest cut a little hole in the bedroom floor, -and with a towel there you are. I’ll commence a -house out on our pond the minute I git home for -a summer retreat, no mowin’ door-yards, no fences -to keep up, no gates to be onhingin’; why, I’d renew -my age there, Samantha. And then think of -the profit in the extra butter, etc.”</p> - -<p>“How would it be about milkin’ the cows?” sez -I. I see he hadn’t thought of that or anythin’ else -practical, but he’d been jest carried away by the -novel and the new.</p> - -<p>But he wouldn’t give in, men have such doggy -obstinacy. Sez he—</p> - -<p>“Why, learn ’em to swim; begin when they’re -yearlin’s, learn ’em to strike right out and swim up -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_571">[Pg 571]</span>to the milk-house, hitch ’em to the post, and jest -set in the back door and milk ’em.”</p> - -<p>“Under water?” sez I; “milk under water?”</p> - -<p>I see he wuz gittin’ sick of the idee—sick as a -dog, but he sez—</p> - -<p>“Yes, milk ’em under the water in rubber bags, -jest as Ezekiel did, and Malachi, and all the rest on -’em.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “you’ll keep bachelder’s hall then, -and cook your own vittles and make your own -butter for all of me. I hain’t a-goin’ into any sech -enterprise.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “that don’t surprise me at all; I -never yet got up a uneek idee but what you backened -it all you could.”</p> - -<p>Wall, we hung round here for some time, and I -meditated on how the prisoners must have felt, -condemned to</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Fetters and the damp vault’s dayless gloom.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And as I see how they had wore the very stuns -away, a-pacin’ back and forth in their narrer bounds -like caged lions, I felt like sayin’ with Byron:</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“May none these marks efface,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">For they appeal from tyranny to God.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>And it wuz with quite saddened emotions that -we wended our way back to the tarvern Byron.</p> - -<p>I see Al Faizi wuz dretful mournful-lookin’. It -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_572">[Pg 572]</span>always affected that good creeter to see how Truth -and Liberty and Jestice have always been trompled -on by Error and Ignorance all through the ages -and in all countries, and always would, so fur as I -could tell.</p> - -<p>Geneva! Chamouni, how they glide past the -roused eye of my mind, that don’t need spectacles—no, -indeed! For never on earth, it seems to me, -was there sech grandeur of seenery as wuz here in -Chamouni. And the hull world seemed to have -found it out, for folks from all the countries of the -earth seemed to be represented here.</p> - -<p>Here we wuz set down like little grains of sand -in a high pine forest, and that don’t carry out my -idee at all, for what is a pine-tree compared to -Mont Blanc—grand old giant standin’ up there -lookin’ down on the hull world, and seemin’ to be -kinder guardin’ it. I believe that even Martin’s -pride wuz kinder crumpled down a-beholdin’ that -wonder and glory.</p> - -<p>On, on we went by wild and magnificent seenery, -by sweet sheltered spots, castles, farm-housen, -bridges, waterfalls, valleys, towerin’ hills, lofty -mountains, etc., etc.</p> - -<p>Martigny—the wonderful Rhone valley, the -magnificence of the Simplon Road, straight up the -mountain-side, under waterfalls, over wild waters, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_573">[Pg 573]</span>along abysses, through tunnels seemin’ly milds long, -openin’ out into new seens of beauty—oh, what a -time, what a time!</p> - -<p>How many bridges did we cross? Josiah said, -groanin’, “Over ten thousand.” But I believe there -wuz only six hundred odd; but what would Miss -Gowdey and Sister Bobbett think of that, who -have always looked with some or at the thought of -goin’ to North Loontown, because they had to pass -over three bridges to git there, and go up a considerable -steep hill? What would these sistern do -under the circumstances that I wuz placed in? So -my almost crazed but riz-up brain would wildly -question me anon or oftener.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_574">[Pg 574]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXX">CHAPTER XXX.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">MILAN, GENOA, VENICE.</p> - -<p>Wall, at last, under the fosterin’ care of Martin, -we wuz conveyed along into Italy and put up to a -place called Milan. But one memory of our way -thither stands out as plain in my mind as our -centre-table duz in my parlor; it is of beautiful -Lake Maggiore. A more beautiful piece of water -I don’t believe moistens this old earth. Them -sweet blue waters, with lovely Isola Bella terraced -into hite after hite of verdure and beauty, and -other islands a-standin’ out like clear blue stars in -a clear blue sky, and the Italians in their picteresque -dress, priests, peasants, etc., etc., wuz a seen -of enchantment, and even Martin looked kindly on -it, and admitted that it looked well. “But,” sez -he—</p> - -<p>“What is it compared to our own Thousand -Islands? Why, nothing at all. Our own St. -Lawrence would take in the whole of Lake Maggiore -at one mouthful, and not know the difference.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Martin, don’t run down the beauty of another -country a-praisin’ up your own.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_575">[Pg 575]</span></p> -<p>“Well,” sez he, “do you find such perfection -here as in our own country?”</p> - -<p>Sez I reminescently, “I find better telegraph -poles.” Sez I, “Think of the clear granite shafts, -good enough for monuments, and then think of -the humbly, crooked wooden poles that disfigger -our American landscape.”</p> - -<p>“Well,” sez he, “you don’t often find them -here.”</p> - -<p>Josiah sed if I wuz so bent on havin’ stun -telegraph poles, he and Ury could build up one -out of loose stuns in front of the house. Sez he, -“We might make it sort of a monument shape, and -Ury might kinder block out my figger on top.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “I guess it would be a work of art if Ury -did it.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “I might have a tin-type or -sunthin’ fixed on, or a lock of my hair. It would -be real uneek, and my fellow-townsmen would -think the world on’t.”</p> - -<p>Mebby he’ll forgit the idee, and mebby I’ll see -trouble out on’t yet.</p> - -<p>Wall, in Milan our first move wuz, of course, to -see the cathedral. I’d seen so many picters on’t -that it looked as familar as Betsey Bobbettses -liniment, only fur grander and more impressive -lookin’.</p> - -<p>Yes, after<span class="pagenum" id="Page_576">[Pg 576]</span> lookin’ at that wonderful buildin’ on -the outside and inside, I felt as if I wuz a heathen -creeter who had never seen a cathedral or a meetin’-house -in my life. Why, to make it clear to -everybody jest how grand and extensive it is, I will -say that if the pine woods on the hill back of Deacon -Henzy’s wuz all turned into pinnakles and -monuments and arches, and every pine needle on -’em wuz ornaments of delicate tracery and carvin’ -and beautiful design, it could not be more impressive, -and to anybody who has seen them woods -that is sufficient. It is a dream to remember in -still nights when you lay on your piller and can’t -sleep. I think on’t time and time agin. Why, it -is so big that you could carry on a Stock Exchange -meetin’ at one end and a funeral at the other, and -not interfere with each other in the least; you -couldn’t hear the bulls and bears yellin’ or the -mourners a-weepin’ and wailin’, not at all.</p> - -<p>And you climb up five hundred steps to the top, -and look down on all the beauty and glory of the -world—it is a sight, a sight.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin sed that he must make all haste -possible a-travellin’ through Italy, as business wuz -a-callin’ him home, but he must go to Genoa, the -birthplace of Columbus. Sez he, “Of course, considering -what he discovered and where he was of -late celebrated, that is by far the most important -place in Europe.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_577">[Pg 577]</span></p> - -<p>Wall, I wuz glad enough to visit the birthplace -of that good, misused creeter. So we anon found -ourselves in Genoa, the Superb, as some call it, -and in good rooms in a big, comfortable tarvern.</p> - -<p>The first thing we went to visit wuz the statute -of Columbus. It towers up, a poem in white marble; -and in a settin’ poster, on the four sides on’t, -are Religion, Gography, Strength, and Wisdom, -and all round ’em and between ’em are carved the -leadin’ events of Columbuses life. Every one of -them symbols carved out there—Religion, Strength, -etc.—Christopher had, and the world realizes it at -last.</p> - -<p>I should think the world would have been -ashamed of itself after picterin’ out his grand doin’s, -his discoveries in the New World, to have sculped -him out in chains; it wuz a burnin’ shame, but his -memory is a-walkin’ down through the ages now -free and soarin’, no chains on it—no, indeed!</p> - -<p>But, poor creeter! how he would have enjoyed -bein’ made sunthin’ on, and used well while he wuz -here in the body! How he would have enjoyed -havin’ enough to eat, and hull clothes!</p> - -<p>But sech is life.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin renewed his strength a-lookin’ on -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_578">[Pg 578]</span>Columbuses statute and a-realizin’ what it wuz he -discovered and how his discovery is a-branchin’ out -and spreadin’ itself. He felt well.</p> - -<p>Right acrost from the statute stands a big house, -which has writ on it, “Christopher Columbus Discovered -America.” Martin didn’t need to be told -on’t—no, indeed!</p> - -<p>As nigh as we could make out, Columbus wuz -born in that house. They showed us the very room -where he wuz born; but my lofty emotions in -viewin’ the spot wuz quelled down with the thought -that he wuz born in seven or eight other places. -Poor creeter! what a time he did have from first to -last!</p> - -<p>In the Municipal Palace, among other curous -and valuable relicks, we see lots of relicks of Columbus—amongst -’em some autograph letters that he -had his own hand on.</p> - -<p>Josiah sez, “He’s some like you, Samantha—ducks’ -tracks is plain readin’ compared to ’em.”</p> - -<p>I looked coldly at him, but did not dane to argy.</p> - -<p>In a glass case, amongst lots of other things, we -see the violin of Paganini, the greatest violinist that -ever lived.</p> - -<p>He, too, wuz a discoverer; divine realms of melody -wuz brung to view by his heavenly vision. He -wafted his hearers into that realm on the flood of -melody. I took sights of comfort a-lookin’ at that -old fiddle.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_579">[Pg 579]</span></p> - -<div class="figright illowp50" id="i_579" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_579.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Divine realms of melody wuz -brung to view by his heavenly -vision.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>When my thoughts git started back to Italy, as -thoughts will, no matter where your body is—a-settin’ -in the meetin’-house or out to the barn or anywhere—they -always linger sort o’ lovin’ly on Venice—Venice -that stands out in my mind -all by itself amongst cities, jest as -prominent as Thomas J. duz amongst -boys.</p> - -<p>My Josiah wuz dumbfoundered when -we emerged from the depot to think -that he had got to go to our tarvern in -a boat; but so it wuz.</p> - -<p>Then he demurred agin about the -convenience we wuz a-goin’ in.</p> - -<p>He sez, “Dum it all, I hain’t a-goin’ -to be drawed by a hearse whilst I am -alive!”</p> - -<p>But I soothed him down by pintin’ -out that the boats wuz all painted black.</p> - -<p>But wuzn’t it a curous sensation to drive along -on streets of water, instead of good, honest dirt. -Bein’ kinder skairy of water, I whispered to Josiah—</p> - -<p>“As bad as our roads in Jonesville be durin’ the -worst of Spring mud, I’d ruther navigate ’em with -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_580">[Pg 580]</span>our wheels up to the hubs in mud than to ride down -these water streets.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “Samantha, we didn’t realize our priveliges -then, we made light on ’em.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, “you used language on them roads -that you wouldn’t use now if you wuz set back on -em.”</p> - -<p>“I didn’t talk any worse than the rest of the -Jonesvillians!” he snapped out. “And how these -streets smell—dead cats and pollywogs!” sez he, -turnin’ up his nose real high.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “less count over our blessin’s. -We can hold our noses while we are a-countin’,” -sez I. “Look at them towerin’ marble palaces; -see the carvin’ on them tall pinnakles and the arched -winders and the fretted ruffs,” sez I.</p> - -<p>“The ruffs don’t fret no worse than my mind -duz!” sez he. “Oh,” he whispered with a low -groan, “shall we ever see the cliffs of Jonesville -once more!”</p> - -<p>“Don’t give up, Josiah,” sez I, “here right in the -dream of the world, Venice, the beautiful.”</p> - -<p>Sez Josiah, “I hearn there wuz a sayin’, ‘See -Venice and die,’ and I can tell ’em that if this smell -keeps on, and if the dum muskeeters keeps on -a-bitin’, there’s one man who will foller their advice.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_581">[Pg 581]</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_581" style="max-width: 35em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_581.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">If this smell keeps on, and the dum muskeeters keeps on a-bitin’, one man will ‘see Venice -and die.</span>’”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Sez I, “They hain’t muskeeters, they’re nats, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_582">[Pg 582]</span>and it wuz Naples that wuz said on; and,” sez I, -wantin’ to roust him up, “they say Venice is perfectly -beautiful by moonlight.”</p> - -<p>That kinder nerved him up, bad as he felt—he -seemed to look forrered to it, and after a good meal -and a good rest, when we did set off by moonlight, -hirin’ a gondola jest as we would a express wagon -to home, he admitted the beauty of the seen.</p> - -<p>And it wuz like a journey through fairyland. -The long, glassy streets, all lit up by lights from -the tall, white palaces on each side on us, and by the -lanterns of the passin’ gondoliers; the soft, sweet -voices of the gondoliers as they called out to each -other in their melogious Southern tongue; the -glidin’ boats movin’ past us like shadder craft, with -the handsome, graceful forms of the gondoliers -a-drivin’ ’em, and anon or oftener the sweet strains -of a guitar, and some divine voice in song; and -the admirin’ surprise when you’d turn a corner and -look down another street of beauty, differin’ in form -of glory.</p> - -<p>Oh, it wuz a seen to be remembered as long as -Memory sets up on her high-chair under my foretop! -And what hantin’ thoughts kep’ company with -me and filled the gondola to overflowin’! I seemed -to see Titian with his artist’s eyes and inspired pencil—the -old Doges with their embroidered and -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_583">[Pg 583]</span>jewelled robes—sad-eyed Beatrice Cenci, Antonio, -Shylock, Wise-eyed Portia—I seemed to hear her -sayin’,</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“The quality of mercy is not strained,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">It droppeth as the gentle rain from Heaven....</div> - <div class="verse indent0">It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>The gondola wuz crowded by the fantom crowds -that set round me onheeded by my Josiah, jest as -sperit crowds may be cramped all round onbeknown -to us.</p> - -<p>Wall, I expected that about the most interestin’ -thing in Venice to me would be the Bridge of Sighs, -that stands, as Byron so eloquently observes, with a -palace on the nigh side, and a prison on the off side -(I may not have got the exact words, but it is the -same meanin’). And I had more emotions there -than I could count, as I looked at it.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi wuz dretful interested in the old prison -and dungeons and in the relicks of the infamous -Council of Ten.</p> - -<p>He writ pages in that book of hisen, and didn’t -come no more nigh depicterin’ all their atrocities -and abominations than one drop of water would to -exhaustin’ the ocean.</p> - -<p>In the palaces we see the height of luxury and -richness of beauty. In the prisons and dungeons -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_584">[Pg 584]</span>we can see the black depths of terror and cruelty -of the time when the Council of Ten ruled Venice.</p> - -<p>The Doge’s palace is a dream of magnificence. -You look up the Giant’s Staircase, way up—up to -the great statutes of Mars and Neptune, where -them mean creeters wuz crowned—the Doges, I -mean. And then you can’t help meditatin’ that -whilst they clumb to the very top of magnificence, -they didn’t do well, they didn’t die peaceable in their -beds, none on ’em.</p> - -<p>No, they wuz pizened, or had their heads cut off, -or sunthin’ or other, that interfered with their comfort.</p> - -<p>I wouldn’t want Josiah to be a Doge—not if he -could be jest as well as not. No, Dogein’ seemed to -be resky business in them days, and I presoom that -it would be now.</p> - -<p>And then they wuz so awful mean some on ’em—jest -read what they done, it’s enough to skair you to -death almost. I had dretful emotions as I looked -at that long table where the Ten ust to set in silence, -and condemn men and wimmen to death.</p> - -<p>They ort to be ashamed of themselves.</p> - -<p>And then the Lion’s Mouth, where the papers -accusin’ folks wuz dropped by the people. The -paper dropped down into a chest so’s the wicked old -Ten could git holt of ’em.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_585">[Pg 585]</span></p> -<p>Miserable creeters! I’d love to gin ’em a piece of -my mind.</p> - -<p>But Josiah wuz all took up with the idee; sez -he—</p> - -<p>“How convenient, how charmin’ it would be to -have a complainin’ box rigged up in the barn over -the manger or by the side of the haymow, so when -I wanted to complain of Ury I wouldn’t have to jaw -him and have him sass back! How much easier it -would be than jawin’! He’d like it better, too. And -you can have one, Samantha, to complain of Philury; -you could jest drop ’em in, and then you wouldn’t -have to tell ’em over to me when she wuz wasteful -or slack, or acted. Jest put ’em down on paper, -drop ’em into the box, and nobody but Philury -would be the wiser.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Do you spoze I’m a-goin’ to be feelin’ -round writin’ complaints while a batch of cookies -are bein’ spilte, or a lot of good vittles throwed to -the hens? No, indeed! My tongue is good yet, -and active.”</p> - -<p>“Yes, indeed, it is!” sez he with a deep groan (I -d’no what he meant by it).</p> - -<p>“But,” sez he, “it would be good for it to rest a -spell, and it would be a good thing for me, anyway, -specially nights when I wuz sleepy,” and agin he -sighed (he acted like a fool).</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_586">[Pg 586]</span></p> -<p>“And if you say so,” sez he, “we could have one -rigged up together for both on us—we ort to be -able to complain of our hired man and woman in -one complainin’ box. We might have it over our -back door, or on the smoke-house.”</p> - -<p>But I waived off his idee, and mebby he gin it up, -and mebby, agin, he’ll try to rig up some contrivance -that won’t do no good, and take time and money.</p> - -<p>Another one of the queer things them old Doges -ust to do wuz to marry the Adriatic to the city at -a certain time every year.</p> - -<p>What did they want to marry water for?</p> - -<p>But Josiah wuz all worked up with the idee, when -he hearn us a-talkin’ about it, and about the magnificent -ceremonies they went through with at the -weddin’.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “How uneek it would be for me to -marry the creek to Jonesville and perform the ceremony -out to our mill-dam! It would be beautiful, -and it would be as cheap as dirt, too; Ury could -fix up a raft, and I could take one of the curtain -rings out of the spare bedroom to wed it with.”</p> - -<p>“What do you want to be weddin’ the creek -for?” sez I coldly.</p> - -<p>“Oh, for fashion,” sez he—“style. Old-fashioned -things are so stylish now,” sez he. “You know -how them old, long, black clocks, humbly things in -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_587">[Pg 587]</span>the first on’t as they could be—you know how they’re -set up in the boodores of luxury now, a-lookin’ -like a coffin on end. And spinnin’-wheels and sech -that our grandmas ust to hustle out of the room, if -company come, now they’re sot up on velvet carpets, -and made sights on. And this manoover -would be dretful stylish. Oh, how the Jonesville -bridge would be crowded! how the Jonesvillians -would look on in admiration to see the sight!</p> - -<p>“Of course I should wear my dressin’-gown. The -public has never had a chance to see it on me yet, -you have always been so sot on keepin’ me to home -in it. This would be a very agreeable treat to have -on Fourth of Julys, or any national holiday, and I -could carry it out perfectly and dog cheap, with a -little of Ury’s help.”</p> - -<p>But I sot my foot right down on the idee to -once. Sez I, “It looks silly as anything in them -wicked old Doges, and you hain’t a-goin’ to import -any of their tricks into Jonesville. Next thing I’d -know you’d have a inquisition a-goin’ on, and a secret -tribunal of Ten.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_588" style="max-width: 35em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_588.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">Next thing I’d know you’d have a inquisition a-goin’ on.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“I’d like it first-rate,” sez he, “if I could be the -10. I’d like to shake some of the sins and foolishness -out of Brother Gowdey and Deacon Henzy,” -sez he, “and bring ’em into my way of thinkin’.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_588">[Pg 588]</span></p> -<p>“There it is!” sez I. “Intolerance, bigotry, persecution, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_589">[Pg 589]</span>how fresh they be to-day in the human -heart! Jest as ready to spring up and act in 1895 -as a thousand years ago.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, I hain’t said I wuz a-goin’ to start it up -agin,” sez he, kinder cross like; “I only spoke on’t.”</p> - -<p>I expected trials when I sot out to take my pardner -through Europe, and I wuzn’t dissapinted in it. -But if it hadn’t been for his ambition for display, -and his bein’ carried away by novelties, and his appetite, -he would have acted real well. But, anyway, -act or not, he’s the one man in the world for me, -and visey versey.</p> - -<p>But, as I wuz a-sayin’, the palaces of them old -Doges rousted lots of emotions in my brain, and -the fantoms of their victims seemed to hover round -them old palaces as thick as the pigeons that come -with a rush of wing down into the great square of -St. Mark at jest two o’clock, where they are fed by -order of the government.</p> - -<p>The grand old Church of St. Mark interested me -dretfully. It is built in the form of a Greek -cross, with a big dome in the centre, and full, full -to overflowin’ with glory of mosaic, precious stuns, -picters, monuments, altars, pillars, colenades, gold, -silver, and splendor of all sorts.</p> - -<p>Josiah sez to me, “Our Jonesville meetin’-house -wouldn’t show off much compared to this.”</p> - -<p>But I wuz some consoled in this by thinkin’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_590">[Pg 590]</span> that -if our meetin’-house wuzn’t so gorgeous, there wuz -jest as big a lack of beggars and poor people of all -kinds a-hoverin’ on the outside on’t, and sez I—</p> - -<p>“If they should sell off some of their costly -things and try to improve the condition of these -poor beggars, they would raise themselves as -much as twenty-five cents in my estimation, and -I d’no but more.”</p> - -<p>And Josiah sez, “It is hard to make a rotten -string stand up straight—it is hard to brace up -laziness, and dissipation, and improvidence, and -make anything on’t.”</p> - -<p>I couldn’t dispute him, nor didn’t try to. But -I did love to prowl round in those old meetin’-housen -and see the wealth of interestin’ things in -’em.</p> - -<p>In the Church of Santa Maria d’Frari, the beautiful -monument to Titian took my admirin’ interest. -It has angels, lions, all sorts of sculptered figgers -in elegant carvin’, and beautiful bas-reliefs of -his greatest works—“The Assumption,” “Martyrdom -of St. Lawrence,” and “Peter Martyr.”</p> - -<p>Then the monument to Canova is a sight to see -in its beauty. Wall, he ort to had it; he did -enough work to make the world more beautiful.</p> - -<p>In the Academy of Fine Arts we see sech sights -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_591">[Pg 591]</span>of beautiful picters that my brain almost reels now, -a-tryin’ to recall ’em. But Titian’s “Assumption of -the Virgin” is one that you can’t forgit, no matter -how clost other idees press around it and squooze -aginst it.</p> - -<p>Great picters by Paul Veronese, Tintoretto, and -other great masters—the walls are jest seens of -beauty.</p> - -<p>I wouldn’t want it told on—it ort to be kep’, but -Josiah told me right there in that sacred spot, that -he wuz sick of Madonnas—sick as a snipe.</p> - -<p>But I told him that I wouldn’t own up to it, if I -wuz.</p> - -<p>And he said he didn’t care who hearn him.</p> - -<p>I wuz kinder sick on ’em myself, but didn’t want -to own up to it right there in a meetin’-house. -But, truly, anybody will see enough Holy Families, -Virgins, Madonnas, etc., to last ’em a long life, unless -they’re extravagantly fond of ’em. And every -artist seems to have painted his own idees of the -Holy Mother—mebby from his own sweetheart; -anyway, no two of ’em are alike. Most of ’em are -real fat and healthy lookin’. I never spozed she -enjoyed sech good health as they depicter; I -thought she wuz more kinder spindlin’ lookin’. -And then I imagined there wuz a ineffible look -to the face of the Mother of our Lord, sech, as -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_592">[Pg 592]</span>it seems to me, they hain’t none of ’em ketched. -The Mother of our Lord! What a face she ort -to have to fit my idees of her! It’s resky work, -paintin’ divine things. I wouldn’t want to undertake -it, or have Josiah. Now I see the picter of -the Deity once painted with a hat on.</p> - -<p>I didn’t love to see it.</p> - -<p>Why, even to Moses the Great Presence wuz -surrounded by a flame of fire; and St. Paul fell -to the ground, struck by the blindin’ glory on’t, -and he wuz never able to put in mortal words -the sights he see—“Whether in the body or out -of the body, God knoweth.”</p> - -<p>He wuz reverent. And it don’t seem quite the -thing to try to paint ineffible glories with chrome -yeller and madder. Howsumever, I spoze they -meant well.</p> - -<p>And, indeed, some of the picters we see as we -journeyed through the Italian cities are all placed -in rows around the inside of my brain, and can’t -never be moved from there—no, the strings must -break down first that they hang up on.</p> - -<p>In Florence the Beautiful, oh, the acres and -acres and acres of beauty that I walked through, -full to overflowin’ with beauty and glorious conceptions -and the white splendor of marble poems! -The works of Michael Angelo I hain’t a-goin’ to -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_593">[Pg 593]</span>forgit them—no, indeed! nor Lorenzo Ghiberti, -nor the picters by Titian, Raphael, Rembrandt, -Tintoretto, Veronese, Van Dyke, Rubens, etc., etc., -etc., and so forth, and so forth, and so on, and so on.</p> - -<p>I walked through the long picter galleries with -my brain and heart all rousted up, and enjoyin’ -themselves the best that ever wuz, and my legs all -wore out and achin’ bad. And Josiah groanin’ -audibly by my side. And Martin patronizin’ the -marvels of ancient and modern art, and havin’ a -good time. Al Faizi with his hat off, reverent and -devout in the presence of so much divine beauty. -And Alice, I spoze, thinkin’ of the past and the -futer, and Adrian eatin’ candy, etc.</p> - -<p>Time fails to tell what we see. It seems to me -it would be easier to tell what we didn’t see; I -guess it wouldn’t take so long, but I will desist.</p> - -<p>But a few memories stand out shinin’ amidst the -bewilderin’ maze. One of ’em is standin’ in the cell -of Savonarola, that noble creeter, raised up to the -pinnakle of saintship by the fickle populace, who -knelt and worshipped him, and then so soon crucified -him. And he all the time a-keepin’ on stiddy, -jest as good and noble and riz up as he could be. -Yes, his last words to his persecutors gin a good -idee on him—</p> - -<p>“You can turn me out of earthly meeting-houses, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_594">[Pg 594]</span>but you can’t keep me out of the Heavenly -one.”</p> - -<p>I may not have used the same words he did, but -it wuz to that effect. I had a sight of emotions as -I stood in that narrer place that once confined the -form of that kingly creeter.</p> - -<p>And then the tomb of Galileo. I always liked -him the best that ever wuz. He wuz also persecuted -for knowin’ things that them round him -didn’t know, and thinkin’ thoughts and seein’ sights -that they didn’t. And in order to git along with -’em round him, he had to promise to stop teachin’ -the truth. The Majority had to be appeased by -the old Ignorance. It has to now, time and agin. -But he kep’ on a-sayin’ to himself, and out loud, when -he got a chance to—“The world duz move.” Men -and wimmen to-day, who feel some as Galileo -about men’s and wimmen’s rights—licenses, the -higher spiritual knowledge—they keep on a-sayin’ -all the time, every time that they can git a chance -to edge a word in between Ignorance and Bigotry -and shaky-kneed Custom, who stand all shackled -together with mouldy old chains of prejudice, every -time they can git a openin’ between these tattlin’, -but hard-lived old creeters, they keep on a-sayin’—“The -world <i>duz</i> move.”</p> - -<p>Folks will fall in with ’em after a time, jest as -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_595">[Pg 595]</span>they fell in with the idees of Galileo; now they persecute -’em.</p> - -<p>But more interestin’ to me than the glories and -marvels of the Medician Chapel, the Pitti and -Uffizi galleries, the Boboli Gardens, the monument -to Dante (smart creeter <i>he</i> wuz, and went -through a sight from first to last; he and she both—Beatrice, -I mean)—</p> - -<p>But of fur more interest to me it wuz to stand in -the house where the slender little English woman -dwelt while her soul was slightly imprisoned in her -frail body, while she held “The poet’s star-tuned -harp to sweep.” And where at last “God struck a -silence through it all, and gave to His beloved -sleep.”</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Sleep, sweet belovéd, we sometimes say,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Yet have no tune to charm away</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Sad dreams that through the eyelids creep;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">But never doleful dream again</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Shall break their happy slumber when</div> - <div class="verse indent2">He giveth His belovéd sleep.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Yes, she sleeps well now. All the melancholy -and charm of Italy, all its magnificence, all of its -splendor, its ruins—all seem to be centred in that -one little room. I had emotions there that it hain’t -no use dwellin’ on.</p> - -<p>Figgers seemed to start up and bagon to me -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_596">[Pg 596]</span>from every side. Aurora Leigh, with her sad, -sweet smile, stood in front of me with that lover of -hern; the Portuguese lovers, with hearts of fire and -dew too; the “Poet Mother” holdin’ her two boys -to her heart, knit to that heart by ties of iron; -Nino and Guido, little babies, teaching ’em to—“Say -<i>first</i> the word country,” after that mother -and love. Then I see her alone in the house—<i>alone</i>.</p> - -<p>“God, how the house feels!”</p> - -<p>While Guido and Nino lay dead, shot down by -the balls of the enemy—“One by the East Sea and -by the West”—then she remembered that she -had learnt ’em to say <i>first</i> the word “country,” -puttin’ it before “mother and home.”</p> - -<p>She wuz kinder sorry she’d done it at first, I -guess. She forgot Glory and Patriotism, for this -woman—this “Who was agonized here, the East -Sea and West Sea rhymed on in her head, forever -instead.”</p> - -<p>She couldn’t think of anything else, only the -mightiness of human love and grief.</p> - -<p>I don’t blame her; I should felt jest so myself if -it had been Thomas Jefferson shot down. What -would the glory of Jonesville be to me, if his bright, -understandin’, affectionate eyes wuz closed in death? -I, too, should think that everything else wuz “imbecile, -hewin’ out roads to a wall.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_597">[Pg 597]</span></p> -<p>How black that wall would look to me!</p> - -<p>And then the cry of the Human, how it rung -in my ears—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Be pitiful, O God!”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>Yes, indeed, in how many crysises have I felt the -hite and the depth of that cry!</p> - -<p>I had powerful emotions, powerful, and sights of -’em—so did Al Faizi. He jest doted on Mrs. -Browning’s poetry, and he sot a good deal of store -by the poetry of her relict—her widderer. And -Robert duz write first-rate, but pretty deep, some -on ’em. I’ve grown real riz up and breathless -a-hearin’ Thomas J. read about “How they brought -the good news from Ghent to Aix.” And I love -to hear Thomas J. read about the “Lost Leader,” -and beautiful “Evelyn Hope,” and etc., etc. But, on -the hull, I sot more store by the poems of his wife.</p> - -<p>But, as I say, I always respected and admired -Elizabeth’s widderer. He insisted on marryin’ the -woman he loved, no matter how poor health she -enjoyed. I presoom his folks objected and thought -that Robert would do better to marry a woman -that wuz enjoyin’ better health. But he never -thought of doctors’ bills or poultices—things that -fill up littler minds—no, indeed! nor she didn’t -either. They felt only the supreme joy of congenial -minds and hearts, and love that lifts the soul -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_598">[Pg 598]</span>up to the divinest hites mortals can ever stand -up on.</p> - -<p>She says, and it seems almost like liftin’ a veil -before the Holy of Holys, and as if I ortn’t to -speak of it, but I will venter—</p> - -<p>She sez:</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“First time he kissed me, he but kissed</div> - <div class="verse indent0">This hand wherewith I write,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And ever since it grew more fair and white,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Slow to world greetings, quick with its Oh, list!</div> - <div class="verse indent0">When the angels speak.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>How the words fell from her innocent soul, and -how they must always reach the same place in ’em -who hear ’em, if they have got souls!</p> - -<p>Yes, in readin’ her poetry you can see that, as she -sed about the dead baby and its sorrerin’ ma, that -“The crystal bars shine faint between the souls of -child and mother.” You can see that the veil wuz -but thin indeed between her soul and the Heaven -she writes of—yes, you can almost see its light -a-shinin’ through the words, and its music almost -throbs through her sweet thoughts.</p> - -<p>But to resoom. It seems almost like a beautiful -dream to look back on’t, with, of course, some -shadders to make the brightness seem more bright, -the time we spent in Florence. One day while we -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_599">[Pg 599]</span>wuz there we rid out to see the Tower of Pisa—Martin -sed it would be expected of him to see it.</p> - -<p>We found that Pisa wuz a dretful noisy place—dretful, -and, somehow, yellin’ in a foreign language -seems worse than the same yellin’ in Yankee. -Howsumever, I spoze these yellers and jabberers -knew their own business.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp46" id="i_599" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_599.jpg" alt="Leaning Tower of Pisa" /> -</div> - -<p>Josiah sed, as we looked up at the tower, sez -he—</p> - -<p>“You’ve always took me to task, Samantha, about -my corn-house bein’ built kinder tippin’ and tottlin’. -Now what do you think? This tips as much agin, -and folks can’t think too much on’t, so it seems.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “it has a different look to it from -your edifice. I believe that will fall on you some -day, Josiah Allen, and be the death on you.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, they hain’t either on ’em fell yet; they -both stand kinder tippin’, but I don’t worry about -either on ’em—we knew what we wuz about when -we built ’em.”</p> - -<p>He ranked ’em both right in together, I see that -he did. But this tower goes fur ahead of his edifice—fur, -though it is some seven hundred years older.</p> - -<p>It is perfectly round, the sides all fixed off in -rows of pillows, and the hull thing most two hundred -feet high.</p> - -<p>I didn’t hanker for goin’ up to the top on’t—no, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_600">[Pg 600]</span>indeed! It tuckers me enough to go up into our -wood-house chamber, about twenty odd steps. I -wuzn’t goin’ to trail up three hundred steps—no, -indeed!</p> - -<p>But Martin sed that he would like to say that -he had been there. So he toiled up the ascent, and -so did Alice. And she sed that the view from the -top wuz perfectly wonderful, takin’ in the beautiful -country all round—cities, picteresque villages, and -the blue waters of the Mediterranean twelve milds -away.</p> - -<p>And Martin sed that if that tower wuz in -Chicago, with a outside elevator let down from -the top to take folks up, and a cigar-stand and -saloon on top, a man ort to clear five thousand -dollars a year from it. And he sed the white -marble it’s built on would make splendid mantlepieces, -and he told how many it would make—I -can’t remember, but a immense lot on ’em.</p> - -<p>He’d figgered ’em up on the tower; he took his -pencil out and figgered it up on the pinnakle, so, -for all he realized, the entrancin’ view below might -have been our four-acre paster or a huckleberry -patch. We didn’t stay here long. Of course, we -had to see the cathedral and Baptistery, great -buildin’s built of white marble, and all ornamented -off on the outside to as great an extent as I ever -see, or ever expect to, and the Campo Santa has -got frescoes in it that are beautiful beyend any tellin’<span class="pagenum" id="Page_601">[Pg 601]</span> -on.</p> - -<p>There is lots of other things there that is worth -seein’—the Museum, the University, the Aqueduct, -etc.—but we didn’t stay to see em all, Martin, as -usual, a-bein’ in a great hurry; but he sed that he -wanted to say, of course, that he had paid proper -attention to this city, which wuz one of the oldest -in Europe. Before John the Baptist came preachin’ -in the Wilderness this wuz a Roman town. It -beats all! No wonder it’s a noisy old place—it has -seen lots of trouble.</p> - -<p>In goin’ out of it we went through so many tunnels, -it skairt me most to death, and Josiah wuz -skairt, too, though he wouldn’t own up to it, but I -heard him sithe repeatedly; otherwise I wuz glad -to go.</p> - -<p>Wall, as I say, what I see in beautiful Florence -can’t be told, and the enchantin’ seenery in the -Valley of the Arno. The beautiful Casino, which -even Martin admitted come almost up to Central -Park (it is fur bigger and handsomer, though I -wouldn’t want the Central Park folks to know I -sed it, for it would be apt to mad ’em. It made -Martin mad as a hen when I suggested it).</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_602">[Pg 602]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXXI">CHAPTER XXXI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">COLOSSEUM AND CATACOMBS.</p> - -<p>It wuz jest as beautiful in Rome—magnificent -palaces, cathedrals, picters, statutes, tapestry, mosaics, -articles of virtue of all kinds, and immense -gateways leadin’ into new seens of beauty, fountains, -monuments, tombs, parks, wells, etc., etc., -etc.</p> - -<p>My head-dress almost rises up on my head now -as I contemplate the seens. But specially the Colosseum -almost lifts up the ribbins on it—now, -when I meditate on’t.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp100" id="i_602" style="max-width: 25em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_602.jpg" alt="Colosseum" /> -</div> - -<p>Why, when the Loontown Opera House wuz -finished, we Jonesvillians hung our heads considerable -before the Loontowners, they wuz so hauty -over it. Two hundred could set down in it all to -one time.</p> - -<p>It danted us. We envied ’em. But what would -them proud Loontowners think of a theatre that -would seat eighty thousand, and probble twenty -or thirty thousand more could have squoze in -while they wuz a-performin’.</p> - -<p>One hundred thousand all assembled, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_603">[Pg 603]</span> -mebby to look down on the dretful sight of seein’ -men kill each other. That wuz the thought that riz -up my head-dress, and almost busted my bask waist. -To think that men and wimmen could meet for -amusement, and witness sech agony and sufferin’, -and probble laugh at it. Why, in one of their -meetin’s, twelve hundred men wuz killed, wimmen -lookin’ on, too, jest as well as men, and probble -snickerin’ over it.</p> - -<p>I would be ashamed of myself if I wuz in their -places—heartless creeters! If I’d been there at the -time nobody could kep’ me from givin’ ’em a piece -of my mind. But I wuz eighteen hundred years -too young; they kep’ right at it.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi wuz dretful interested in this place. He -writ down lots in that book of hisen. He see -sights here he never see in his own land—religion -or no religion.</p> - -<p>Christians throwed round to let lions and tigers -devour ’em! The idee! He looked curous as a -dog while he talked with me about it.</p> - -<p>Martin wuz kinder calculatin’ on how many grain -elevators the stun would build if they wuz landed -in Chicago.</p> - -<p>And Josiah and the children were wanderin’ -round, and he acted tired and fagged out. He wuz, -as usual, hungry. He sed prowlin’ round amongst -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_604">[Pg 604]</span> -them stun heaps gin him a appetite. And I spoze -it did. But, then, I’ve known settin’ still to whet -up his appetite, and barn chores, and everything.</p> - -<p>But we prowled round here for some time, and -there is one big, vivid memory that I brung away -from Rome; it stands up in my foretop some as -in Naples Mount Vesuvius stands, with the Bay of -Naples a-layin’ placid and fair at its treacherous old -feet.</p> - -<p>The treasures of the Vatican (which makes my -brain reel and my feet kinder ache to this day when -I think of ’em), the biggest palace in the world, so -I spoze. And then St. Peter’s Church, more’n five -times as big as the big Catholic Cathedral in New -York—two hundred and twelve thousand feet; we -can’t hardly understand it, it is so big.</p> - -<p>But Martin kep’ us there more’n half an hour; -for, as he sed, he wanted to git a thorough idee of -it, so that he wouldn’t have to come agin. Sez he:</p> - -<p>“I travel as I do everything else; I do it laboriously -and thoroughly.”</p> - -<p>Wall, mebby he did, but I carried away from St. -Peter’s and the Vatican, which is jest by the side -on’t, a sort of a dizzy, achin’ memory of pillows and -picters and statutes and illimitable space, and picters -and carvin’s and statutes, and statutes and carvin’s -and picters—a few of which stands out prominent—the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_605">[Pg 605]</span>Laocoon, the Apollo Belvidere (he wuz as -handsome as Thomas Jefferson, and that is sayin’ -all I can say), and the Annunciation, and the Transfiguration -by Raphael, and great picters by Da -Vinci and Murillo. Picters, statutes, mosaics, carvin’s, -chapels, altars, picters, etc., etc., etc., etc., -etc., and I might go on so all day, but I won’t.</p> - -<p>Why, the treasures of art in the Vatican is the -finest collection in the world, and when you realize -how big the world is—take it from Jonesville to -Chicago, and so by New York to Ingy, and back -agin by the North Pole to Loontown and Zoar, -you can git a faint idee on’t.</p> - -<p>There is everything in it besides the glorious picters -and statutes made by the greatest artists and -sculpters that ever lived. There are ancient coins -and household utensils of every age, tapestry, -mosaics, jewels, embroideries, carvin’s, etc., etc.</p> - -<p>Why, imagine what treasures of art could be put -into these ten thousand rooms by onlimited wealth -and power through hundreds of years, and then see if -you expect anybody is a-goin’ to describe ’em; specially -if they are hurried on by a Martin, and goaded -on the right and the left by the hungry groanin’s of a -Josiah, and the endless questions of a child of -eight.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi got considerable good out on’t, I guess.</p> - -<p>He writ down a lot, I see, in that delicate, small<span class="pagenum" id="Page_606">[Pg 606]</span> -handwritin’ of hisen—I d’no but it is shorthand.</p> - -<p>Alice, I spoze, see on every side a face, jest as -young eyes will, when young hearts are full of love -and hope.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin sed he must see the catacombs, and -I felt, too, that I must go, although I knew it wuz -resky. I felt that with his ardent temperament and -his eager search after ontried paths, I more’n -mistrusted that I should lose Josiah Allen for good -in them catacombs. But I ventered, after layin’ -stringent rules onto that small, but ambitious man.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Don’t you lose sight of me through the -day, Josiah Allen!”</p> - -<p>“How can I see you in the dark?” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Foller my voice!” sez I.</p> - -<p>“That’s an easy job,” sez he; “I could foller that -for years and years, and not lose a minute.”</p> - -<p>I d’no what he meant; he wuz excited and kinder -wanderin’ in his mind, I believe.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_607">[Pg 607]</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp46" id="i_607" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_607.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">The guides went ahead with flarin’ lights.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Wall, when we descended into the bowels of the -earth, I felt queer, queer as a dog. The guides went -ahead, with flarin’ lights held up to guide us, and as -we proceeded onwards through what seemed to be -milds and milds of underground rooms and halls -and windin’ ways, the thought come, and I couldn’t -keep it out of my mind—</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_608">[Pg 608]</span></p> -<p>“What if the light should blow out, as I’ve seen -so many lights do in my day, and we should be -doomed to forever more wander here, and die at -last fur from Jonesville, and the light of day. But -as I whispered to Josiah—</p> - -<p>“We shall die together at least, which will be a -comfort.”</p> - -<p>He, too, felt the pathos and danger of the seen, -and sez he—</p> - -<p>“Hurry up, or the guide will be out of sight!” -and he added almost tenderly, “You’re too fat, -Samantha, to take many sech trips.”</p> - -<p>And I sez, “Wall, I don’t expect to travel habitually -under the ground.”</p> - -<p>And we had some words. It madded me considerable -to be twitted of my heft both on top of the -ground and in the bowels of the earth, till I recollected -where I wuz and what had once gone on -here; then a deep or took holt on me, and I sez -to myself—</p> - -<p>“What must the Christians have felt who fled -here for safety from persecution and death! What -did the saints and martyrs think on as they jined in -their hymns of praise and victory? A few pounds -of flesh, more or less, what would they have thought -on’t, or the teasin’ words of their pardners? No, -lions and tigers and the headsman’s axe wuz what -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_609">[Pg 609]</span>wuz before their eyes, and, what wuz worse, before -the eyes of ’em they loved best.”</p> - -<p>Endless rooms, so it seemed to me, we went -through, narrer passages and chambers, arched overhead, -and the walls lined, some on ’em with dead -bodies. Mummies, tombs, picters, windin’ ways, -Josiah, Martin, torches—them wuz the idees that -come back to me as I think on’t now.</p> - -<p>Wall, Josiah wuz dretful impressed with the Holy -Staircase, up which the members of the meetin’-house -went on their knees, a-sayin’ their prayers as -they went, and it wuz a impressive sight to look way -up the stairs and see the bretheren and sistern -a-creepin’ up and a-fingerin’ their strings of beads -and a-prayin’ to the Virgin Mary or some other -saint or ’postle, mebby.</p> - -<p>And here I had another trial with my dear, but -too ardent and impressible pardner. He looked -on in deep thought for anon or a little longer, -and then he sez—</p> - -<p>“Samantha, wouldn’t it be uneek for you and -me to climb up the steps of the Jonesville meetin’-house -a-sayin’ over some hymn, or one of the -Sams? And you could take your mother’s gold -string of beads, and I could buy a string of glass -ones for two or three cents, or I could make a -string with a little of Ury’s help—whittle ’em out -of wood. And how impressive it would be! how -it would attract attention to us! how foreign it<span class="pagenum" id="Page_610">[Pg 610]</span> -would look, and show plain how travelled and cultivated -we wuz! You know, folks that come -home from Europe always bring lots of strange -ways with ’em and airs; and this would be one -of the most uneekest and impressive that wuz ever -brung into Jonesville or America.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Gin up that idee to once, Josiah Allen, -for I will never jine in with it in the world. The -idee!” sez I, “that you and me, with our age and -our rumatiz, should go a-creepin’ up on our knees into -the meetin’-house. Why, to say nothin’ of spilein’ -our clothes, our knee-pans wouldn’t be good for -nothin’ after one venter.” Sez I, “The pans would be -perfectly useless forever afterwards, and,” sez I, -“what good would it do? The aid we invoke -hain’t bought with beads. The God we worship -hain’t reached by creepin’ up a pair of stairs; He is -right with us to the foot of the stairs or anywhere. -Give up the idee immegiately and to once.”</p> - -<p>He acted real fraxious, but I drawed his attention -off, and mebby he’ll forgit it.</p> - -<p>The beauty of Naples has been sed and sung in so -many different words and tunes that it don’t need -the pen or voice of a Samantha, specially as I hain’t -much of a singer, nor wuzn’t even in my young -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_611">[Pg 611]</span>days, so I will be content with singin’ to myself at -times a rapt sort of a soul song, as I look back on -the enchantin’ beauty of the Bay of Naples.</p> - -<p>Beautiful for situation indeed is Naples! clusterin’ -round the clear, blue waters, that sweep round in -a sort of a crescent.</p> - -<p>The city occupies the centre—the inside on’t, little -villages and tree-embowered castles and villas a-linin’ -the shores on each side, and on the off side, addin’ -the one touch of mystery that gives a vivid but dark -charm to the picter, rises Mount Vesuvius, a-standin’ -there all the time as if protestin’ aginst the poor -wisdom of the ages.</p> - -<p>Who knows what’s a-goin’ on in her insides? -Who knows what she’s mad about? Who knows -what makes her act so puggicky, and every now and -then bust out into blood-red indignation, that carries -death and ruin all round her? Queer, hain’t it?</p> - -<p>Queer, that havin’ in mind jest what she’s done -and is liable to do any time agin, that men and -wimmen go on, gay and happy, and lean up aginst -her old feet, and nestle down in her shadder, and -build homes of love there, liable any minute to be -swep’ away by her red-hot wrath!</p> - -<p>Passin’ strange! jest as singular as it is to think -all of us in Jonesville and the world at large will -build fair homes of love and content, and anchor -’em to livin’ hearts alone, in the same world where -Death is.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_612">[Pg 612]</span></p> - -<p>But to resoom. My recollections of this city, -like so many others, is one vast paneramy, framed -in by the blue Mediterranean, and ornamented on -top by Vesuvius, of picter galleries, tall palaces, -broad avenues, narrer streets, in which we see many -seens that in Jonesville is kep’ under cover, and -stately castles—sights and sights of castles, and immense -ones; seems as if they wuz immenser and -more numerous than in any other city I see on my -tower, and fountains, and aqueducts, and churches, -and colleges, and theatres, and operas, etc., etc., etc. -Plenty of chances for bein’ good, and plenty of -modes of recreations, the Neapolitans have, and -they seem to take advantage on ’em all. But it -seemed as if I couldn’t never forgit that tall, warnin’ -figger that looms up forever in the background. -But, then, agin, mebby I should; I forgit the graveyard -in Jonesville lots of times, though I ride by it -every Sunday to meetin’.</p> - -<p>The guide wanted us to go up Vesuvius. He -said she wuz lookin’ very mild and pleasant, and it -would be perfectly safe.</p> - -<p>But I didn’t like her looks, or that is, I thought -I’d ruther admire her at a distance, some as I would -a striped tiger right out of the jungle. But Vesuvius -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_613">[Pg 613]</span>did indeed look beautiful, a-risin’ up above the -incomparable Bay of Naples. But I felt for all her -good looks I didn’t want to tackle her.</p> - -<p>I knew what she’d done in the past to ’em that -trusted her too much. Pompey won’t forgit her—no, -indeed! After eighteen hundred years have gone -don’t memories hant the House of Pansa and the -hull of that devoted city of what Vesuvius can do -when it gits to actin’? Yes, indeed, indeed! No, I -didn’t want to venter.</p> - -<p>But I did want to visit that city that has lain -buried up in the earth for so many years. And -Martin sed that most all of his inflooential friends -made a practice of goin’ there. So we all sot off one -pleasant mornin’—my Josiah in pretty good sperits, -for we had had an oncommon good breakfust, and -Alice lookin’ sweet as a flower, and Al Faizi a-knowin’ -she did, a-realizin’ her sweetness through all his -bein’, as I could see from his big, dark, sad eyes, that -wuz bent on her all the way, and her heart all filled -up with another’s image and drawin’ her radiant -looks from that sun of her heart.</p> - -<p>O human hearts; O glory and sadness and -rapter that fills ’em! How many jest sech gay -young sperits, sech souls, full of the glowin’ rapter of -love, the divine sadness of love, went out in darkness -on that dretful day, a thousand and a half years ago!</p> - -<p>I had fearful riz-up emotions before I got to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_614">[Pg 614]</span> -Pompey, jest a-thinkin’ on’t, and so what could they -have been when I at last stood in the city on which -fell sech a sudden doom.</p> - -<p>To see the silent forms struck down, jest as full -of life and love and happiness as Alice and Adrian -wuz to-day. There wuz a woman clingin’ to a bag -of gold—gold couldn’t help her. A young man -and young girl clasped in each others’ arms—love -couldn’t save ’em. A priest of Isis, who knew all -the secrets of the Mystic Religion—his wisdom -couldn’t save him, or what he called his wisdom. -A giant form full of courage and defiance—strength -couldn’t save him, nor courage. A high-born lady -covered with jewels—wealth and high station -couldn’t save her.</p> - -<p>They all had to bear the common fate, as well as -the little maid who died runnin’ away from death, -and had covered her face with her garments, she -wuz so ’fraid. Poor little creeter! what if it had -been Babe?</p> - -<p>No; the prisoners shet up in jail, riveted to the -rock, the dogs, horses, goats, even the poor little -dove, that wouldn’t leave her nest, pretty, little affectionate -thing!—all, all had to bear the doom that -come down upon ’em on that dretful day.</p> - -<p>All on ’em a-doin’ their usual work, jest as if the -Heavens should open and pour down a avalanche -of ashes and bury us up in our home in Jonesville—Josiah<span class="pagenum" id="Page_615">[Pg 615]</span> -a-doin’ his barn chores, and I a-washin’ -dishes, and both on us full of life and joy of livin’. -Besides Ury and Philury.</p> - -<p>Oh, dear me! oh, dear me suz!</p> - -<p>Wall, I went through them streets, so many centuries -buried and forgot, in a state of mind I can’t -describe. It seemed some like goin’ through any -city. The streets wuz middlin’ narrer, but the housen -stood on each side; good roads wore down by the -steps of the multitude. So wuz the fountains that -stood on every hand; you could see where the lips -of the public had wore ’em away. Palaces, little -housen, shops, temples, amphitheatres. One house -we went through looked as though it had been built -yesterday for some rich American; it wuz over three -hundred feet long and over a hundred feet broad, -and all ornamented off beautiful with statutes and -mosaics and things good enough for a Vanderbilt.</p> - -<p>In some things the old inhabitants did better -than they do now. They had sidewalks—pretty -narrer, but fur better than none—and more facilities -for gittin’ water. I wish the Italians used -more now—they would feel as well agin for it, jest -as Josiah duz when I can git him to use it free.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_616">[Pg 616]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXXII">CHAPTER XXXII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">FASHIONABLE WATERING-PLACES.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp43" id="i_616" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_616.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Mr. Goldwind, one of -Martin’s business rivals.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Wall, in the streets of Naples Martin met a man -that he knew at home—a man most as rich as -Martin—a Mr. Goldwind, a sort of a rival in business, -I guess, and he had jest been -travellin’ through Spain.</p> - -<p>And what should P. Martyn Smythe -do but proclaim it to us that evenin’ -that we wuz to go to Spain.</p> - -<p>I hearn him say to Alice—“It will -be asked of me if we have been there. -Gertrude Goldwind will ask you if -you have been there. Alice, we must -be able to say ‘Yes.’ So we will start -immegiately. I have got to go back -to Paris anyway on important business.”</p> - -<p>So the next day we started for Paris.</p> - -<p>As I have sed heretofore, Martin wuz a very -enthusiastick and ambitious traveller; that is, he -wanted to tell what he’d seen in foreign lands, -whether he’d seen ’em or not; but he wuz ambitious -to have his body trailed through ’em. And -it made it very good and instructive for me, though<span class="pagenum" id="Page_617">[Pg 617]</span> -wearisome, for, of course, the more you see, the -more you know, and he had to take the hull circus -with him wherever he went. And when he promulgated -the wild idee that we wuz to go to -Spain, I acquiesced immegiately and to once, -and after a private interview I held with Josiah, -he did.</p> - -<p>Sez Martin—“We won’t make a long stay there; -but we will go over the Pyrenees anyway, and step -onto the soil; and when we go back to America it -can’t be said by any one that we did not see Spain.”</p> - -<p>Oh, how different folkses key-notes is! Now, -the key-note to his character wuz—what would -folks say?—the outside of the platter; while, as for -me, my key-note wuz—what I could see and learn, -and what wuz inside of the platter. And that wuz -Al Faizi’s key-note, only his key wuz stronger and -deeper even than mine. Josiah and the children -had their own keys and notes, which it is needless -to peticularize.</p> - -<p>Wall, I had become some acquainted with Spain -through my friend, Washington Irving, and Mr. -Bancroft, and then I wuz quite familar with its -literature. I had learned at a early age one of its -poems, runnin’ thus:</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_618">[Pg 618]</span></p> -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“When it rains,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Do as they do in Spain—</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Let it rain.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>I had often hearn and repeated this national -epick to my relief and consolation on stormy days. -And though I felt that our trip bid fair to be a -hasty and sweepin’ one, yet I felt that if I could -jest stand on the top of the Pyrenees, and look -down into the land, I would like it, even if I did -not step my foot into it.</p> - -<p>So, after stayin’ a short time in Paris—for Martin -to do his errents there, I spoze—we sot sail for -Spain, and the first night come to the river -Garonne, and acrost the long bridge into Bordeaux.</p> - -<p>We stayed all night there, and the next mornin’ -bright and early sot out agin. A little after noon -we come to Pau. The train stopped down by the -river Gave, a river that rushes right out of the -mountains. Above that, a hundred feet high, on a -terrace lookin’ south, stands the city.</p> - -<p>And what a view busted onto my vision as I -looked out of the winder at the hotel! Them -gleamin’, silent peaks of snow are camped round -Pau like tall, silent, white-robed pickets a-guardin’ -Pau from danger.</p> - -<p>What a sight! what a sight!</p> - -<p>But Martin, anxious to see <span class="pagenum" id="Page_619">[Pg 619]</span>everything that could -be seen, sot off most the first thing to see the castle—one -of the grandest in France—where Henry -IV. wuz born, and I spoze they enjoyed it, for Josiah -went with him.</p> - -<p>But what I wanted to see wuz the fountain of -Lourdes. And though Martin and Josiah kinder -made light of me, they seemed willin’ enough to go -with me the next day. It is only a two hours’ ride -from Pau to this most famous place of pilgrimage -in Europe. And we sot off in good sperits. It -lays down at the foot of the mountain, in a deep -valley. At one end of the village is a grotto where -a young girl, years ago, received a visit from the -Virgin Mary, or she sez that she did. She told the -story to her folks and to all the neighbors, and -she stuck to the same story all her life till she died.</p> - -<p>Of course ’em that went to the same place and -didn’t see nothin’—they didn’t believe her.</p> - -<p>I d’no as Abraham’s folks believed him when he -sed that he had had a visit from angels. I dare -presoom to say some of his relations didn’t—his -cousins now, and his mother-in-law’s folks; I dare -say they sed they wuz a-lookin’ right that way at -the very time and didn’t see a thing—Abraham must -have been mistaken; and they would add most probble—</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_620">[Pg 620]</span></p> -<p>“Abraham’s eyes are a-failin’; he ort to wear -stronger specs.”</p> - -<p>Not a-thinkin’ that their stronger specs could -never give ’em a glimpse of the things that he see; -for speritual things are speritually discerned, and -we all have gifts differin’. Why should a propheysier -try to dream dreams and see visions?</p> - -<p>Wall, finally the priests gin out that the story -wuz true, but whether their consciences wuz good -in ginin’ it out I d’no—I don’t keep their consciences -in a box in my bureau draw.</p> - -<p>But tenny rate, the first six months one hundred -and fifty thousand pilgrims visited the spot and partook -of the healin’ water of the spring that flowed -out of the grotto.</p> - -<p>And pretty soon a lofty meetin’-house riz up over -that grotto. The grounds round it are laid out like -a immense waterin’-place that must prepare for the -comin’ of a multitude without number. In the season -of pilgrimage the meetin’-house is crowded all -day and way into the night, and round it the way -is blocked with the pilgrims, and way up onto the -hillside their kneelin’ forms are massed.</p> - -<p>What a seen it must be in still nights, that immense -kneelin’ throng and vast procession a-movin’ -up the hill and a-carryin’ torches and a-singin’ thrillin’ -hymns!</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_621">[Pg 621]</span></p> -<p>Inside, the meetin’-house wuz richly decorated, -its high arches festooned with banners, and the -walls covered with memorials of gratitude for cures -performed there.</p> - -<p>Martin walked round with his hands in his pockets -and his head up. I don’t believe he sensed anything -of the sperit of the place, nor Josiah.</p> - -<p>Nor down in the grotto either, as we stood by -that miracolous fountain and see a-hangin’ all round -us the crutches of the paryaletics and cripples who -had been cured here and walked off with no use for -’em any more.</p> - -<p>I don’t believe them two men took any more realizin’ -sense of what they wuz a-seein’.</p> - -<p>Josiah drinked a cup of the water, and sez he in -a pert tone—</p> - -<p>“That is the best water I’ve drinked sence I left -Jonesville. I wish I could take a kag with me—it -tastes like the spring down by the Beaver Medder -in Jonesville.”</p> - -<p>And Martin drinked his cupful, and sed he preferred -Apollinaris water.</p> - -<p>Neither of them men realized its virtues.</p> - -<p>But I sez to my pardner—“Josiah Allen, don’t -you know that this water heals the sick, makes the -lame walk, and the blind see? Don’t you realize it -as you ort to, Josiah Allen?”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_622">[Pg 622]</span></p> -<p>“Oh,” sez he, “I don’t feel any peticular difference -in my feelin’s; I feel jest about the same.”</p> - -<p>And Martin sed he thought it wuz imagination -mostly. Sez he, “You know in sudden danger -cripples have been known to walk off; it is the -power of their religious fervor that performs the -cure.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “you can call it what you please, -but it is a good thing anyway that cures ’em.” Sez -I, “I dare presoom to say that they feel like sayin’ -as they walk off and look round—‘One thing I -know, whereas I was blind, now I see,’ and they -feel like leapin’ and praisin’ the power that has -healed ’em.”</p> - -<p>Martin kep’ his hands in his pockets and looked -onbelievin’, but I see that my talk wuz impressin’ -my beloved companion, and he whispered to me -while Martin’s back wuz turned—“Do you spoze, -Samantha, that it would be apt to cure that corn of -mine? I’m most tempted to try it.”</p> - -<p>I sez, “Have you the faith, Josiah Allen?”</p> - -<p>And he sez, “I have faith that it aches like the -old Harry this minute.”</p> - -<div class="figright illowp58" id="i_623" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_623.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">I have faith that it aches like - the old Harry.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Sez I, “Do you believe that the water could heal -it? If you hain’t got faith I wouldn’t take off my -shue;” for my ardent companion wuz even then -a-onbuttonin’ the top button.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_623">[Pg 623]</span></p> -<p>He paused. “But,” sez he, “would I have to -leave my shue here if I got cured—would it be fashionable -and stylish to do so, and go home barefooted?”</p> - -<p>And I swep’ right by him, and sez I, “Come on, -Josiah Allen; all the water of Lourdes can’t cure a -soul whose highest aim is to be stylish.”</p> - -<p>And he come on a-mutterin’, “You complain if I -don’t look ahead, and you complain if I do. How -did I know whether it would be expected of me to -go home in my stockin’ feet or not, and you’d complain -if I got a hole in my stockin’.” Sez he, “If I -hain’t healed you complain, and if I be healed you -find fault with me.”</p> - -<p>Sez I soothin’ly, “Dear Josiah, you might git -cold in your stockin’ feet—it is all for the best, and -I d’no its power over corns anyway,” sez I.</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “it would look queer to Pau to -see me mount the hotel steps with one shue and -one red stockin’ on.”</p> - -<p>For he had worn his dressiest pair -that mornin’.</p> - -<p>And he murmured, “If I had my -dressin’-gown on, it would droop down -over my feet some.”</p> - -<p>Al Faizi had been all this time a-lookin’ -round and notin’ down things in his -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_624">[Pg 624]</span>note-book, and seein’ everything with his deep, -strange eyes, but sayin’ little about it, and a-thinkin’ -a lot, as wuz his general way.</p> - -<p>The next mornin’ we left Pau, and in the afternoon -we found ourselves in the “Bay of Biscay, -Oh!”</p> - -<p>That is a quotation from a poem—in common -talk the “Oh” can be omitted.</p> - -<p>We had to wait a spell at Bayonne for the train -to take us into Spain, though Martin proposed -that we should take a carriage and drive out to -Biarritz.</p> - -<p>For Martin sed that so many of his acquaintances -went there for the winter that it would sound -better for us to say that we had passed some time -there—it would be far more stylish and fashionable -to say it.</p> - -<p>“How long a time can you pass there,” sez I, -“to git back to ketch the train?”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez he, “we shall have time to stay three -fourths of an hour—ample time to see everything -of interest there.”</p> - -<p>Good land!!!!!</p> - -<p>But Martin wuz the head of the procession, as -you may say, and we had to foller on where he went -and halt when he halted.</p> - -<p>And I felt that one thing wuz favorable to me, I -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_625">[Pg 625]</span>always had a faculty for seein’ a good deal in a -short space of time by the clock.</p> - -<p>Biarritz is a pleasant place in the winter, and you -could see that a good many have discovered it by -the number of big hotels perched up on the bluffs, -their open winders lookin’ south.</p> - -<p>Of course Martin had to drive by the Villa -Eugenia, occupied by her who once had a empire -to command, and beauty, youth, and love, and now -sits and looks over the tombs and the ruins of the -hull on ’em.</p> - -<p>Poor creeter! I always felt onreconciled to that -bright young boy of hern bein’ struck down as he -wuz by a savage in a savage place, fur from a -mother’s love.</p> - -<p>Oh, dear me!</p> - -<p>But here Napoleon came often in the mild September, -and happiness rained in the beautiful villa, -with its gay pleasure grounds.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin see a sight, I spoze, and as he sed -a-goin’ back:</p> - -<p>“I am so glad we stayed here some time, for I -know a lot of men who bring their families here -winters, and it will be interesting to converse with -them about the beauties of the place; I’m glad I -brought all my family with me,” sez he, lookin’ -complacently at Alice and Adrian.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_626">[Pg 626]</span></p> -<p>“But, papa, we never sat down at all,” sed -Adrian.</p> - -<p>“Never mind, my boy—you have been there, -and it is a great watering-place. And when Mr. -Goldwind’s boy talks about Biarritz, you can mention -to him that you have been there and stayed for -some time.”</p> - -<p>“But Billy Goldwind stays there all winter, -papa.”</p> - -<p>“Well, we do not want to stay so long; we want -to get back home before winter. We merely wanted -to go there and stay some time, and we have.”</p> - -<p>Wall, I don’t spoze it wuz a real lie—we had been -there and had stayed some time.</p> - -<p>Josiah sed he had stayed as long as he wanted to, -and he should be glad to git into Spain with his -dressin’-gown on, and set down a spell.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_627">[Pg 627]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXXIII">CHAPTER XXXIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">CATHEDRALS AND CASTLES IN SPAIN.</p> - -<p>I wuz not sorry to be on the train agin on our -way to Irun, which wuz the first town of Spain we -entered, and here we wuz ushered into the Custom -House.</p> - -<p>Our baggage wuz all took into the station and -spread out on long counters and examined.</p> - -<p>Politer creeters I don’t want to see than them -Spaniards wuz. And the language they spoke -amongst themselves wuz as soft as silk and as -kinder soothin’ and sweet. And they didn’t hurt -our baggage a speck, though Josiah’s anxiety as -they opened his satchel wuz extreme.</p> - -<p>He sez to me, “Like as not they’ll spile that -dressin’-gown.”</p> - -<p>“How could they spile it?” I whispered back.</p> - -<p>“Why,” sez he, “them tossels could be hurt easy. -I shall have to comb ’em out agin as quick as we -stop.”</p> - -<p>He had a awful coarse comb with him, and he -did spend hours a-combin’ out them red tossels that -he ort to spend on his own head, or on his Bible.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_628">[Pg 628]</span></p> -<p>So, as I say, he jest hovered over that satchel -and heaved 2 or 3 deep sithes of relief as the -Custom House officer released it from his hand.</p> - -<p>And, oh! how lovin’ly he folded -the rep folds, and laid the tossels -down caressin’ly.</p> - -<p>My baggage was soon and hurridly -gone through—in the words -of a old adage concernin’ a horse, -changed to suit the occasion—“A -short satchel is soon hurried.”</p> - -<p>The Spaniards are a lazy set—I -guess they would have examined -our things closter, if they wuzn’t so -slow and slack.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp37" id="i_628a" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_628a.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>I see one of the officials -take up my sheep’s-head -nightcap.</p></div> -</div> - -<div class="figright illowp30" id="i_628b" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_628b.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>A smile of admiration -swep’ over his dark -visage.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I see one of the officials take up -one of my sheep’s-head nightcaps -that lay on top—so’s to not muss -the agin’—he took it up, and a -smile of admiration swep’ over his -dark visage. I believe, if he hadn’t -been so lazy, he would have asked me for the pattern -on’t. More’n as likely as not, so lackin’ is -Spain in some of the first elements of the ingregiencies -of civilization, I shouldn’t wonder a mite -if them two wuz the only sheep’s-head nightcaps -in Spain.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_629">[Pg 629]</span></p> - -<p>But this last fact (his laziness) conquered his -gropin’s after sunthin’ new and better than he and -his companion had known in the way of nightcaps. -He laid it down with another smile of admiration, -and closed up my satchel.</p> - -<p>Wall, after we got on the cars agin, bag and -baggage, and I thought, my soul, owin’ to the utter -shiftlessness and slowness, that we never should git -fairly to goin’.</p> - -<p>After Josiah wuz set at rest agin concernin’ his -dressin’-gown, and I settled down about my nightcap, -little did I think that we should have to go -through the hull performance agin in a few hours.</p> - -<p>But we did—the hull seen was enacted agin, my -pardner’s anxiety and all. Only these new officials -hadn’t the sense to appreciate my nightcaps—they -turned ’em over as if they wuz common apparel.</p> - -<p>Martin and Alice took everything of the sort -with composure and good nater; they wuz ust to -it, I spoze, travellin’ round all the time. And Al -Faizi looked on the faces of the men with that -searchin’, enquirin’ gaze of hisen, and didn’t say -nothin’. Adrian wuz tired, I could see, and when -we got into the carriage to take us to our hotel, he -kinder laid down in my lap and went to sleep.</p> - -<p>Good, pretty little creeter!</p> - -<p>San Sebastian is situated on sech a beautiful little -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_630">[Pg 630]</span>bay that they have named it the Concha, or shell, -as we would call it. It is a noted waterin’-place, and -Queen Isabella ust to come here summers and -water herself, and bathe, and act. If I’d been here -I should have gin her a talkin’ to; I dare presoom -to say I could have got her to turn right round in -her tracts and got her to behavin’; I presoom, in -all the crowds around her, there wuzn’t one well-wisher -to walk up and tell her what wuz what. -No; praise to her face and back-bitein’ to her -back.</p> - -<p>I’d ort to been there! She had a hard time all -her life, and I’m real sorry for her, and she would -have read it in my mean, and took my advice as it -wuz meant to be took.</p> - -<p>Wall, we stayed here two days, and I wuz glad, -indeed, of the rest. I wuz willin’ to spend my time -with St. Sebastian, while the rest spent their time -a-meanderin’.</p> - -<p>Martin and Josiah and the rest made lots of -excursions to all the castles and cathedrals in the -vicinity, but I felt middlin’ satisfied to see the most -on ’em from the outside. The ruffs of ’em, viewed -from my bedroom winder, seemed to satisfy my -mind as I looked out on ’em dreamily, as I -applied arnaky to my knee jints. I wuz real lame, -but recooperated a good deal while here.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_631">[Pg 631]</span></p> -<p>I did take one or two drives, when I wuz charmed -with the strange and picteresque scenery. In some -places to see the mountains a-standin’ up all round -us in the fur blue distance, and the queer little -hamlets nestled down in the deep green valleys.</p> - -<p>We went to Pasages, less than a hour’s drive, to -see the very place where Lafayette sot sail to help -us git our freedom.</p> - -<p>I had so many emotions here, as I viewed this -spot, that I breathed hard, and had to restrain myself -to keep a composure on the outside.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_632">[Pg 632]</span></p> -<p>On the way back we met lots of their heavey, -rough carts, drawed by an ox and a cow lashed -together by ropes wound round their horns, and -then hitched to the cart.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp87" id="i_631" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_631.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Heavey, rough carts, drawed by an ox and a cow lashed together -by ropes wound round their horns.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>As Josiah see this, he sez, “There, Samantha, -you can see the practical workin’s of wimmen’s -rights.” Sez he, “I say a cow has done all she ort -to when she’s gin a good pail of milk; she ortn’t to -plough and reap too.”</p> - -<p>That speech kinder dumbfoundered me for a -spell. It wuz the smartest thing my pardner had -sed for over a year and a half. But, after considerin’ -on’t for a spell, I sez—</p> - -<p>“Josiah, that hain’t so deep a speech as you’d -think it wuz from considerin’ it from jest on the -outside. The cases are different,” sez I. “The cow -helps draw the cart, both equal; but the cow don’t -have to pay taxes and the ox can’t make laws that -hang her and rob her, etc.”</p> - -<p>But still, in my own mind, I did admire my pardner’s -observation, and admired him considerable for -thinkin’ on’t. It showed high gallantry, too, and -devotion to females; I felt quite proud on him for -pretty nigh half a day.</p> - -<p>On one excursion that Martin wanted to make I -wuz more’n willin’ to accompany and go with -him—that wuz to Azpeitia, a little village 25 miles -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_633">[Pg 633]</span>from San Sebastian; but its bein’ a mountain road, -it took us about all day to go and come.</p> - -<p>But Martin didn’t begrech the time. “For,” -sez he, “I want to see the spot where the man was -born who has exerted the greatest power of any -man on earth—Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the -order of Jesuits.” Sez he—</p> - -<p>“I shall be asked if I went there, and I want to -be able to say yes.”</p> - -<p>How different I felt on the subject, and how different -Al Faizi felt! I see in that heathen’s rapt -eyes as we talked about it on the way the same -emotions I felt—a deep admiration for the grand, -heroic character of Loyola, a deep horrow of the -power he sot to goin’, not knowin’ how fur it wuz -a-goin’ to move, nor how much blood it wuz a-goin’ -to wade through.</p> - -<p>I’d hearn his history rehearsed a number of times -by Thomas Jefferson, and I knew all about it. He -wuz a favorite at court, with beauty and wit and -good sense, a brave warrior, brought down to -death’s door by the enemy’s sword. When he wuz -thirty years old, as you can see by the inscription -over his front door, “He gave himself to God.”</p> - -<p>In that same hour he wuz converted, there hain’t -a doubt of that; nobody ever had more faith than -he had. Why, he see for himself the water and the -wine changed right before his eyes into the blood -and body of our Lord.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_634">[Pg 634]</span></p> - -<p>Some say it wuz a vision caused by his religious -ecstasy. But <i>he saw it</i>, and forevermore he -doubted not—he <i>knew</i> what he believed, and with -all the ardor of his immortal faith, with all the -brave generalship learnt by his warlike trainin’, he -led on his countless troops aginst the Wrong as he -see it.</p> - -<p>Nobody can doubt the sincerity and single-mindedness -of Loyola; he give proof of it in his -life of self-denial and fastin’ and prayer. He -changed his clothes with a beggar, eat the most -loathsome food, and to mortify his pride begged -from door to door. Why, he who wuz ust to the -soft couches of a court dwelt a hull year in a cave -in plain sight of a convent built to the Virgin -Mary. He lay here on the ground a hull year, -three hundred and sixty-five nights, so that he -could show that he wuz indeed a worm of the dust -in sight of his Maker.</p> - -<p>Havin’ prepared himself thus, he went to the -shrine of the Virgin Mary and spent a hull night in -prayer before the altar, then laid his sword upon -it to show that he laid aside all dreams of earthly -honor. And here he took his vows—to give his -heart’s deepest love, and his hull life’s devotion.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_635">[Pg 635]</span></p> -<p>These vows he kep’ to the last minute of his -life. In a church built to his honor are those -words that ruled him:</p> - -<p>“To the Greater Glory of God.”</p> - -<p>There can be no doubt of his sincerity and no -doubt of the fatal power he wielded and wields yet. -For that strong, inexecrable hand holds empires in -its grasp, blood drippin’ through the firm, cast-iron -fingers. A well-meanin’ grasp in the first place, nobody -doubts, and as time has passed, a-snatchin’ -many savages from their barbarous lives and -savage beliefs into better ways of livin’, and bringin’ -’em into the shelter of the Cross.</p> - -<p>Good and evil, evil and good. Loyola is not the -only Leader who has waded through seas of blood, -and all to “The Greater Glory of God.” And -what will be the end?</p> - -<p>Onlimited power is a dangerous weepon to handle. -Believin’ as he did firmly, onalterably, that -his way wuz the only right way, he proceeded to -make people walk in it. He went to work jest as -the Puritans did when they hung witches and -whipped Baptists. Only as his power reached by -powerful organizations into all the countries of the -earth, so the streams of bloodshed flowed down all -the mountains of the earth, and reddened all the -valleys.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_636">[Pg 636]</span></p> -<p>And he, shet up to home a-fastin’ and a-prayin’ -and a-seein’ visions of his Lord, and heads a-bein’ -cut off and flames a-cracklin’ round the martyrs -that he caused to be put to death in the name of -his religion. And St. Francis Xavier, the best and -sweetest soul that ever lived, he too become a general -in this great army. By its swift, silent, mysterious -power Kings wuz put to death, a Pope wuz -poisoned, and some say that the Massacree of St. -Bartholomew wuz caused by it. By its power -Queen Isabella, the sweet, tender-hearted soul who -sold her own earrin’s and things to help Columbus -discover us—jest think of her, for what she wuz -made to think wuz for “The Greater Glory of -God,” she give her consent to have the dretful Inquisition -established in Spain, causin’ half a million -of Christians to be tortured and put to death.</p> - -<p>Curous, hain’t it, what actin’ and behavin’ mortals -will take on themselves to do in the name of -Religion!</p> - -<p>And she, so sweet, so peaceable, so holy—rejoicin’ -not in Iniquity, but rejoicin’ in the Truth; -forgivin’ her enemies, blessin’ ’em that persecute -her, lovin’ all men and wimmen, blessin’ the world.</p> - -<p>Queer, hain’t it!</p> - -<p>Wall, from San Sebastian we went to Bruges -and put up at a hotel built in honor of a Emperor. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_637">[Pg 637]</span>But I wuz dissapinted; a hotel in honor of a -tramp ort to have more conveniences and smell -sweeter. But I got a chance to set down and rest, -anyway, which wuz indeed a panaky to my legs and -to me.</p> - -<p>I’d been quite rousted up about comin’ to -Bruges, for here Cid wuz born, as I told Josiah.</p> - -<p>“Syd who?” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Why, the Cid,” sez I, “who led the armies -aginst the Moors and freed Spain.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez Josiah, “I should think if he done -all that it would look better for you not to nickname -him and call him Syd. You never wuz intimate -with Sydney,” sez he.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “That hain’t his name; it is C-i-d, Cid. -Hain’t you hearn Thomas J. read about him—all -the great things he did, and how after he wuz dead -he rode into Bruges clad in armor? And when a -Jew approached his dead body to offer it some insult -his mailed hand come up and knocked him -down.”</p> - -<p>Sez Josiah, “I don’t approve of Syds doin’ that -anyway—I should go aginst it; it would be apt to -make queer funerals if sech things wuz encouraged.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “I don’t say it is so, but I’ve -hearn tell it wuz.”</p> - -<p>Anyway, we found in the town-hall his bones wuz -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_638">[Pg 638]</span>nothin’ but dust. Josiah kinder sheered away from -the box where they wuz kep’, but nothin’ took place -and ensued.</p> - -<p>The cathedral is a sight—a sight. I felt a good -deal as I stood under its walls as a ant would feel -if she wuz sot down under Bunker Hill Monument. -And inside the buildin’ my emotions wuz still more -various and lofty. The interior is exquisite, grand -beyend any idee almost, and the proportions are so -perfect, the harmony of it affects one a good deal as -the most melogious music would, and the colorin’ is -jest as perfect as the architecture. Take it all in all, -it is a sight—a sight. Even Josiah wuz affected by -it; his local pride wuz lowered imperceptibly, and -sez he—</p> - -<p>“I’ve cracked up the Jonesville meetin’-house -everywhere I’ve been, and it is a comogious structure, -but this goes ahead on’t, and I will own up -that it duz.”</p> - -<p>Martin sed, “I’m glad I’ve been here; a good -many of my friends have spoken of it to me. I shall -be glad to say that I have studied this much-talked-of -cathedral at length.”</p> - -<p>We wuz there about half a hour.</p> - -<p>Al Faizi showed in his ardent face, lifted in reverence -and admirin’ or, jest how he felt about it. -The lights from the stained-glass winder gleamed -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_639">[Pg 639]</span>on’t, and made it look almost inspired. He nor I -didn’t seem to want to talk much about it. I never -do when I see Niagara. No, I’m willin’ to let that -do the talkin’ to my rapt soul.</p> - -<p>It wuz so here. When I stood in these cathedrals, -the grandeur and might of their silent oratory -preached to me so loud that I wuz almost overwhelmed -and by the side of myself, and carried some -distance by the power of the sperit that carried out -these grand results.</p> - -<p>But anon, when I got outside, other emotions -got into my sperit; they come in onbid, and I had -to use ’em well.</p> - -<p>I thought how on great days the congregation -who meet here would worship God all day and -wave banners and anon fire cannons in honor of -some saint or other, and then end up with a bull-fight.</p> - -<p>Jest as if Josiah and Deacon Bobbett should pass -the Holy Communion, bread and wine, and then -withdraw into the horse-shed, and have a dog or -rooster fight.</p> - -<p>It took off a number of my soarin’ emotions to -think on’t, probble as many as 80 or 85. I had -had over a hundred right along—I know I had.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_640">[Pg 640]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXXIV">CHAPTER XXXIV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">JOSIAH’S DEVOTION.</p> - -<p>Wall, another day we went to see the Carthusian -Monastery, founded four hundred years ago by -Queen Isabella—Christopher Columbuses Isabella—the -intimate friend of America (owin’ to jewelry, -discovery, etc.).</p> - -<p>Josiah and I thought we would branch out this -day and go alone, so he secured the gayest-lookin’ -rig he could find, drawed by three mules hitched -side by side. It attracted all the beggars in town, -so they follered us as a dog with a bone is follered -by other dogs.</p> - -<p>But Josiah took it as a tribute to our style, and -he leaned back in perfect delight, and sez he, a-wavin’ -his hand with a kind of hauty wave—</p> - -<p>“Drive by Alameda!”</p> - -<p>Come to find out the reasons he gin his orders -wuz he’d heard Alameda talked about, and he -thought she wuz a woman, and mebby a American, -and he wanted to show off before her.</p> - -<p>But it wuzn’t a woman. It wuz a pretty park, -and we driv along and crost the river, and went -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_641">[Pg 641]</span> -through a long avenue of ellum trees each side on’t, -and anon we found ourselves on top of a noble hill -in front of a Monastery.</p> - -<p>Here we rung the bell at a gate for admission, -and a small grated winder wuz opened and a man’s -face appeared with a dark-colored nightcap on.</p> - -<p>He asked if there wuz wimmen in the party. If -there wuz we couldn’t come in.</p> - -<p>I guess he wuz fraxious, bein’ waked up sudden. -I jedged from his nightcap. But little did I think -it would have sech a effect on my pardner.</p> - -<p>He could not at first comprehend the indignity -offered to his beloved pardner. But the driver repeated -it; sez he—</p> - -<p>“The Friar says you can come in, but no woman -could be admitted.”</p> - -<p>Then I see the power of cast-iron devotion made -harder by the hammers of Joy and Sorrer a-hammerin’ -down on the anvil of Time. That noble but -too hasty man riz right up in the vehicle and shook -his fist at the man with the nightcap, and hollered -out—</p> - -<p>“I’ll give that fryer a piece of my mind!” and -before I interfered he yelled out:</p> - -<p>“You may keep right on with your fryin’; I -won’t stir a step inside if Samantha can’t come too. -I’ll let you know that any place that’s too good for -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_642">[Pg 642] -</span>her is too good for me. Keep right on with your -fryin’, your bull beef will probble spile if it hain’t -cooked!”</p> - -<p>I ketched him by his vest, and sez I: “Pause, -Josiah Allen. He hain’t a cook; it is a F-r-i-a-r.”</p> - -<p>“How do you spoze I care how you spell it? -You can spell their bull-fights b-o-u-l if you want -to; that don’t hender ’em from havin’ to take care -of their fresh beef. Keep right on a-fryin’!” sez he -in bitter mockery. “My Samantha hain’t probble -good enough to see a little beef a-fryin’; but,” sez -he, waxin’ eloquent, as, animated by the power of -love, he stood up nobly for me—</p> - -<p>“You can fry all day and think you go ahead of -any woman, and be too proud to let ’em see you at -it; but Samantha’s cookin’ is as fur ahead of yours -as the United States is bigger than Spain. And -I’d ruther have one of Samantha’s steaks that she -cooks than all the beef that you ever killed at your -dum bull-fights. And don’t you forgit it!” he hollered, -as the driver drove away by my almost -frenzied directions.</p> - -<p>He sunk back exhausted on his seat as we swep’ -on. And you can jedge of his agitation when I -say that he threw out three copper cents all to -one time to the swarm of ragged beggars that run -along by the side of the carriage. He threw ’em -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_643">[Pg 643]</span>out mekanically, and as if he didn’t know what -he wuz about. Ah! the insult to me rankled deep -in his noble but small-sized frame. He didn’t git -over it all that night. I always knew he loved me -deeply—I knew it in Jonesville, and I knew it in -Spain. But oh! how touchin’ the proof wuz that -he gin to me as his voice rung out in the vast, -lonesome bareness of our chamber in Bruges, -Spain, as he lifted his hand in mockery, and cried -out:</p> - -<p>“Keep right on with your fryin’; you won’t git -me to eat a mou’ful while Samantha is hungry!”</p> - -<p>Oh, the power of love! How it gilds with its -rosy rays the quiet ways of Jonesville! How it -still shone on and shed its ambient light in a -foreign land! But I gently hunched him and -woke him up, for I see it wuz endin’ in nightmair.</p> - -<p>I wuz too overcome by a deep sense of his nobility -of sentiment in my behaff to argy with -him that day. I felt that it would be ongrateful -in me; and then, agin, I felt that he wuz too overcome -by the greatness of his emotions—I knew -his frame wuz but small, and his devoted affection -and his righteous anger mighty. I dassent add -another single emotion to them he wuz already -a-carryin’—no, I dassent venter. But I talked -soothin’ly all the evenin’, and said not a upbraidin’ -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_644">[Pg 644]</span> -word when his nightmair snorted and waked -me up with its prancin’ huffs.</p> - -<p>No; I, too, am a devoted pardner, and know -when to talk and when to keep silence. That is -a great nack for pardners to learn—one of the -greatest and most neccessary.</p> - -<p>But the next mornin’, when all wuz calm, and -a not knowin’ how fur his emotions might lead -him agin into twittin’ them Spaniards about their -national custom of bull-fights, etc., and fearin’ he -might git into serous trouble by it when I wuz -not near to soothe and assuage the ragin’ tumult, I -sez—</p> - -<p>“Josiah, you made a mistake yesterday; that -man in the nightcap wuzn’t a-fryin’ the beef slaughtered -in their bull-fights. They don’t eat that; -why,” sez I, “sech mad beef wouldn’t be fit to eat—it -would make ’em sick.”</p> - -<p>“Wall, don’t they look sick?” sez he; “a little, -under-sized, saller set, caused almost entirely,” sez -he, “by eatin’ that beef.”</p> - -<p>Wall, I see that I couldn’t change his mind, and -I sez—</p> - -<p>“Wall, anyway, they’re about the politest creeters -I ever see, and how soft and melogious their voices -are! Their words seem as soft as velvet and silk.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he; “if they wuz a-goin’ to spell ‘cat’ -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_645">[Pg 645]</span> -or ‘dog,’ they would pronounce it c-a-t, cattah, or -d-o-g, doggah,” sez he. “I’m kinder sick on’t, -but most probble they can’t help it—it is caused -by their diet; and,” sez he, lookin’ wise—</p> - -<p>“That bull beef hain’t the worst on’t. Don’t -history tell of that Diet of Worms that they wanted -Martin Luther to partake on and he wouldn’t?”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Josiah, that wuz the name of the meetin’ -he wuz dragged before.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I take history or the Bible as it reads, -and I know I have read a sight of that Diet they -couldn’t git Martin to jine in with ’em and partake of.”</p> - -<p>Mekanically I disputed him, for my thoughts -wuzn’t there. No, as I thought on’t, the form of -my companion a-tyin’ his necktie before the small -lookin’-glass, and a-tryin’ to edify me, faded away, -and I seemed to look back through the centuries -and see that brave Monk a-standin’ up for the Holy -Truth, revealed to him in his cloister, as it has been -through all time revealed to chosen, prophetic souls. -I seemed to see the angry-faced assemblage surroundin’ -him. The cold, gloomy face of Charles -V., King of Spain and Emperor of Germany, -a-lookin’ frownin’ly on him as he pleaded for liberty -and conscience. And I seemed to hear Luther’s -voice say the words that have echoed down through -all these centuries and are a-echoin’ still:</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_646">[Pg 646]</span></p> -<p>“Here I take my stand, I cannot do otherwise. -God help me!”</p> - -<p>But anon the voice of my pardner drawed me -back down the long aisle of the years wet with -blood, black with the Inquisition, with little oases -of Peace scattered along, shinin’ through the lurid -battle clouds.</p> - -<p>His voice rousted me as it sed, “Hain’t you -never goin’ to git that nightcap off, Samantha? -I’m almost starved to death, though what I’m goin’ -to eat, goodness knows.”</p> - -<p>And as I hastily took off my nightcap and -wadded up my back hair, he resoomed—</p> - -<p>“I never wuz any case to eat clear pepper and -ginger for any length of time, or allspice.” Sez he, -“I am slowly wastin’ away, Samantha; I’ll bet I -weigh five or six ounces less than I did when I left -home.” Sez he, pitifully, “It seems to me, Samantha, -if I could set down once more quiet in our -own home and eat one of your good breakfusts, I -would be willin’ to die.”</p> - -<p>“Wall,” sez I, “less try to bear up and lot on -gittin’ back home agin.” Sez I, “One of the -noblest fruits of travel, Josiah, is the longin’ it gives -us to be back home agin and settle down and rest.”</p> - -<p>He assented with a deep sithe, and at my request -hooked up my dress skirt in the back.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_647">[Pg 647]</span></p> - -<div class="figright illowp71" id="i_647" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_647.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>At my request he hooked up my dress skirt in the -back.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Wall, knowin’ Martin’s pecular, but, as I found -out afterwards, popular idees of travel, I didn’t expect -to remain long in Spain; but we did stay there -several days, for, as Martin sed, after comin’ so fur -he wanted to make a -exhaustive study of the -country; so we stayed -most a week.</p> - -<p>Wall, so far as exhaustion -wuz concerned -I felt that we wuz havin’ -a success, for I wuz -as tired as a dog from -day to day, and tireder -than any dogs I ever -see from all appearance.</p> - -<p>But Martin sed that -we would visit Madrid -before we left the country, -for he sed that he -wouldn’t want to be -asked if he had been to the capital of Spain -and be obliged to say no. Al Faizi spoke of -wantin’ to see the Alhambra, and I myself, havin’ -been introduced to it by Washington Irving and -my boy, had a sort of a longin’ to explore its -wonders. But Martin sed that he had studied the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_648">[Pg 648]</span>Alhambra exhaustively at Chicago, and he felt, -seein’ he had got all the information that could be -got on the subject, it wuz useless to prolong our -trip by goin’ there.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “If there was anything new to learn I -would go, for it is my way to go to the very -bottom of things in exploration or discovery; but,” -sez he, “I spent over half an hour in the Alhambra -in Chicago, and I have no more to learn.”</p> - -<p>I had been in that place myself, and had got lost, -and felt like a fool there. I remembered well how -I roamed through them curous labrinths, and had -been brought up standin’ in front of myself repeatedly, -and had bowed to myself real polite, thinkin’ -that I recognized some familar form from Jonesville.</p> - -<p>And there it wuz myself, in one of them countless -lookin’-glasses. I felt cheaper than dirt.</p> - -<p>Sometimes I would think it wuz two or three -somebody elses, and I’d wonder how so many other -wimmen could look so much like me as these -several ones did, a-appearin’ right up in front and -on both sides of me.</p> - -<p>Only I would always give up every time that -there didn’t none on ’em look nigh so well as I did. -They didn’t somehow have sech a noble look to -’em, and their clothes didn’t hang so well as mine -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_649">[Pg 649]</span>did, and their bunnet strings wuz more rumpled up, -and their front hair wuzn’t so smooth, and they -looked fur more tired out than I ever looked, and -bewildered like, and kinder wan.</p> - -<p>Yes, I’d been through them labrinths. I had -enough of Moorish palaces by the time I got out, -a plenty.</p> - -<p>And if, as Martin sed, there wuz nothin’ more to -see in Grenada, I didn’t care a cent to go. And I -thought more’n as like as not I should lose Josiah -in a labrinth—lose him for good and all.</p> - -<p>So I gin a willin’ consent to proceed onwards to -Madrid. The children wuz willin’ to go anywhere, -and so wuz Al Faizi, for, as he sed to me:</p> - -<p>“Truth makes her home in all lands. I seek -the light of her face under every sky.”</p> - -<p>And, poor creeter! not findin’ it time and agin, -I’m afraid. Though in our long talks about this -country, which in tryin’ to stomp out Protestantism, -had stomped out her own life; and in tryin’ to -drownd out Religion in the blood of her saints, -had drownded out her own civilization and progress—</p> - -<p>Al Faizi and I talked this all over, but took comfort -in thinkin’, after all, that good can be found in -every country by them that seek her benine face. -We took sights of comfort in talkin’ back and forth -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_650">[Pg 650]</span>about the Archbishop of Grenada, and his self-sacrificin’, -heroic doin’s in the great cholera plague -of 1885.</p> - -<p>No Methodist could have done any better than -he did, no deacon or minister or anybody. I d’no -as John Wesley could have come up to it.</p> - -<p>Wall, as I sed, I felt well to think that we had -saved a journey to Grenada, though I had kinder -lotted on walkin’ under the Gate of Jestice that I -knew had to be gone through to visit the Alhambra. -But I sort o’ comforted myself by the thought -that mebby it wuz only a name, after all.</p> - -<p>I got real soothed for my dissapintment in not -walkin’ through it by thinkin’ of our own Halls of -Jestice, and a-meditatin’ that Jestice never sot her -foot in ’em from one year’s end to the other, as nigh -as I could find out.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_651">[Pg 651]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXXV">CHAPTER XXXV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">THE QUEEN, ULALEY, AND A BULL-FIGHT.</p> - -<p>Wall, we had a very fatiguin’ journey, durin’ -which I will pass over the sufferin’s of my pardner -from the hot, dry climate, the ever-present pangs of -hunger, that wuz always with him, and the fraxiousness, -that, alas! always overcomes him at sech tuckerin’ -times.</p> - -<p>I will draw a curtain of cretonne over the incidents -of our tegus, tegus journey, and only draw it -back agin, on its hot, dry, brass rings, when we are -once more settled down in a middlin’ good tarvern -at Madrid—I a-settin’ by the winder and Josiah -a-layin’ on the bed fast asleep, the dressin’-gown -folded lovin’ly round his small-boneded figger.</p> - -<p>Martin and the children and Al Faizi went out a -good deal to see all the strange, new sights of the -Spanish capitol.</p> - -<p>But I took considerable comfort a-settin’ still in -as comfortable a chair as I could find, a-lookin’ down -on the Spaniards and their kinder queer-lookin’ -housen, and the strange costooms and ways of -another country—</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_652">[Pg 652]</span></p> -<p>The tall, hauty-lookin’ Dons a-walkin’ along as if -the ground wuzn’t quite good enough for ’em to walk -on, and the dark-eyed wimmen, and the children, and -the beggars, and the splendid carriages, some on -’em drawed by six horses apiece, and their harnesses -all glitterin’ with gold, and the humbler vehicles -drawed by mules, and these mules trimmed off beautiful, -too, and, etc., etc., etc.</p> - -<p>Wall, it wuz on the third day after we arrov in -Madrid, and I wuz a-walkin’ in the Public Garden -with little Adrian and my Josiah, when, on turnin’ -the corner of a leafy avenue, who should I see, right -face to face a-comin’ towards me, but my intimate -friend, Ulaley.</p> - -<p>I wuz tickled most to death. It is always happifyin’ -in a strange and foreign country to meet anybody -you’re intimate with, and when that friend is -a Infanty, and one you’ve advised and neighbored -with, your happiness is still greater.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp67" id="i_653" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_653.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>She knowed me to once—a happy smile curved her -pretty lips.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I advanced and held out my hand, my Josiah and -Adrian a-bringin’ up my rear. She knowed me to -once—a happy smile curved her pretty lips, and sez -she—</p> - -<p>“Madam, I’m pleased to meet you. I remember -seein’ you in your own country.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, “we met in Chicago, Ill., and had -a first-rate visit there.” Sez I, “How have you -been ever sence I see you, and how is all your folks? -How is Antonio?” Sez I, “Did he git through the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_653">[Pg 653]</span> -winter all right? Sickness and the grip has been -round lots, and if it has spared our two pardners -we ort to be thankful. -And that makes me -think,” sez I, “let me introduce -my pardner, Josiah -Allen.</p> - -<p>“Josiah,” sez I, “this -is the Infanty—Ulaley, -you’ve hearn me speak -on.”</p> - -<p>Josiah made his best -and lowest bow, and -murmured sunthin’ about -havin’ read about her in -the <i>World</i>.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, “and -you’ve hearn me talk -about her a sight.”</p> - -<p>But he had a sort of a obstinate streak come over -him, sech as pardners will have in the strangest and -most onconvenient times, and he never assented to -that at all, but sed agin that he had read about her -in the <i>World</i>.</p> - -<p>And I had to let it go. Truly, pardners, though -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_654">[Pg 654]</span>agreeable at times, yet how clost do they clip off the -wings of your pride and ambition at other and more -various times!</p> - -<p>Ulaley see it. Wimmen know only too well -how often sech <i>contrarytemps</i> occurs, and she -helped me out, as I’ve helped many a woman out -of the mud-puddle of embarrassment a pardner’s -words have throwed her into.</p> - -<p>Sez she, “I have such warm recollections of your -country—it is so great a country,” sez she.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, “our country is a middlin’ big one, -but I thought I wouldn’t speak of the size on’t to -you, Ulaley, thinkin’ that you might think mebby -that I’d come over here to kinder twit you of the -smallness of yourn.” And wantin’ to be real polite, -sez I—</p> - -<p>“The value of anything don’t always depend on -its size.”</p> - -<p>“No, indeed!” sez Josiah.</p> - -<p>He wuz alludin’ to his own small weight by the -steelyards. But I waved off his speech—I felt -quite cool towards him, about as cool as rain-water, -and I wouldn’t fall in with his hint and gin him my -usual compliment.</p> - -<p>Wall, jest as the Infanty and I wuz a-talkin’ back -and forth, a woman and a little boy, who had been -a-lingerin’ a little behind, come up, and I see in a -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_655">[Pg 655]</span>minute who they wuz; and though I’m bashful by -nater—very, yet knowin’ that I had the honor and -politeness of my own country and Jonesville to uphold, -I advanced towards her in a very admirin’, -respectful way.</p> - -<p>Yes, I see it wuz the Queen Regent and little -Alfonso himself. I wuz tickled, and still hampered, -by the duties that devolved onto me, but above all -of my emotions riz the thought of how glad I wuz -to meet ’em, and how glad they would be afterwards -a-thinkin’ it over to think that they had a chance to -meet me.</p> - -<p>Ulaley didn’t make no move to introduce us. -And I see in a minute how it wuz. There wuz the -Queen pardnerless and alone, there wuz I with my -livin’ pardner; it would roust up too many sad -memories to bring us all closter to each other.</p> - -<p>But she’d no need to hesitated on that account; I -could have told the Queen that though a pardnerless -state had its trials, havin’ a pardner brings afflictions -also—Heaven knows it duz!</p> - -<p>But I see how it wuz, and havin’ the sole glory -of Jonesville and America in my eyes, I advanced -forwards with quite a lot of dignity and made a -deep curchy.</p> - -<p>I took holt of each side of my brown alpaca dress -and held out the skirt a very little. They wuz -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_656">[Pg 656]</span> -good curchys, and I made about three on ’em—two -to the Queen Regent and one to Alfonso. I -thought one wuz about right for him, considerin’ -his age.</p> - -<p>I then advanced and held out my hand, and sez -I—“I am glad to meet you, Julia, and tell you how -well I think on you.” Sez I, “A young woman who -has done as well as you have with what you have -had to do with deserves to be encouraged, and I’m -glad to encourage you.”</p> - -<p>She looked awful surprised at my good manners -and politeness; she bowed her head in almost dumbfounder, -as I could see, and I went on—</p> - -<p>“You’ve had a hard time on’t, Julia—real hard. -It’s always hard to leave your own folks when -you’re married and go and live with his folks, and I -presoom you’ve had days when you thought his -folks didn’t treat you well—it is nateral. And I -presoom he cut up more or less—pardners will. -And you, fur away from your own folks, made -the cuttin’ up and actin’ seem worse. I persoom -you’ve had days when you would have willin’ly -swapped off five or six Spanish palaces for one free, -onfettered hour beyend the Alps. And you would -have willin’ly swapped the most flatterin’ words -addressed to you in a strange tongue to listen to -the swashin’ waves of the blue Danube, the ripplin’ -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_657">[Pg 657]</span> -waves that beat up agin the shores of home—you -had a real hard time.</p> - -<p>“And then, to cap all, your pardner wuz took -from you, before even the catnip wuz put to steepin’—before -his baby’s eyes could look any comfort -into yours. Poor creeter! what a hard time on’t -you did have.</p> - -<p>“But when the baby wuz born, he brung a new -life to you—you see your dead-and-gone pardner’s -first tender love a-shinin’ through the little face, all -the passion and dross and dissapintment of a pardner’s -love filtered through the divine and satisfyin’ -sweetness of a child’s love.</p> - -<p>“Oh, he has made life and Spain different things -to you, and you’ve sprunted up and done well—you’ve -done first rate! You are a-bringin’ up little -Alfonso jest as well as I could, and I d’no but -better, for, bein’ younger, you can git round -spryer and find out new things to teach him. His -little hands, too, have drawed you and Spain nigher -to each other; you think as much agin of each -other as you ust to, and I’m glad on’t.</p> - -<p>“And how do you do?” sez I, a-holdin’ out my -hand to little Alfonso.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Are you pretty well, Bub?”</p> - -<p>He answered real pretty, and I then and there -introduced little Adrian to him, and I sez—</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_658">[Pg 658]</span></p> -<p>“I wish I had both of you children to Jonesville -for a month in strawberry time or blackberry time—it -would do you both lots of good.” And I sez -to his ma—</p> - -<p>“It seems to me he looks ruther pimpin’; have -you gin him any smartweed lately?” Sez I, “A -syrup of smartweed and catnip, half and half, -sweetened with honey, would set him right up agin, -and if you’d like to try it, I will write and have -Philury send you over a bundle of the herbs.”</p> - -<p>She hesitated—I see she felt a delicacy about -makin’ me so much trouble.</p> - -<p>But I sez, “It won’t be no trouble at all—we’ve -got more’n a floursack full up in the woodhouse -chamber.”</p> - -<p>She didn’t reply, but still looked sort o’ wonderin’ -and queer.</p> - -<p>And I sez—“I will write to-day to Philury to -send you a paper bag full of the herbs, and a handful -of spignut—that is dretful good for a cold, if he -happens to git one, and boys will, goin’ barefooted -and actin’.” Sez I, “Pour bilein’ water on ’em, and -let ’em stand, and be sure the water biles.”</p> - -<p>But at this minute their carriage driv up—they’d -been a-walkin’ for exercise, I guess. And though -I presoom they hated to leave me—hated to like -dogs, they had to tear themselves away.</p> - -<p>But they bowed real polite to me, and Ulaley<span class="pagenum" id="Page_659">[Pg 659]</span> -held out her hand and shook hands. The Queen -wuz busy with the little boy, but they both bowed -real polite after they got into the carriage. And -then they driv off.</p> - -<p>The carriage wuzn’t nigh so showy as some we -see, and the Queen Regent wuz dressed real plain.</p> - -<p>I believe she’s a real likely woman, and if anything -happens to her, and she should lose her property, -I’d love to have her come and settle down in -Jonesville—I’d love to neighbor with her first rate.</p> - -<p>But I truly hope she won’t never have to make -the move—I hope the little King will have his Pa’s -good nater, and his Ma’s good sense and Christian -sperit, and that Spain and he won’t have no fallin’ -out, but do well by each other.</p> - -<p>Wall, Martin and Alice went to a bull-fight. I -waved off coldly Martin’s request to accompany and -go with ’em, though Josiah wuz, for a minute, -rampant to go.</p> - -<p>But I didn’t encourage him in it.</p> - -<p>He sez it would be sunthin’ to talk over with Ury -and Deacon Bobbett when I got home.</p> - -<p>This wuz his best argument, and I sez, “If I -couldn’t talk over anything but this I wouldn’t -talk at all. The idee,” sez I, “of human bein’s -with hearts in their bosoms a-settin’ to see a wild -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_660">[Pg 660]</span>animal kill a human bein’, and visey versey.” Sez -I, “If I should see it goin’ on I should be so -shamed on’t that I shouldn’t want to speak agin at -all for some time.”</p> - -<p>But sez Josiah, “It’s a national recreation; it’s -fascinatin’; probble you’d like it.”</p> - -<p>“Mebby,” sez I; “mebby my heart would git so -hard that I could enjoy it—I, that in days of pig -and beef killin’ have always run into the parlor bedroom -and put my fingers in my ears to escape the -sounds of agony the poor brutes make.” Sez I, -“Spozen if in them days I should invite the minister -and his folks and the Jonesvillians, and have high -seats built up aginst the side of the barn, and let -’em witness the gory spectacle?”</p> - -<div class="figright illowp49" id="i_661a" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_661a.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>The Matador.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Josiah sot a minute in deep thought. “Wall,” -sez he, “I’ll be hanged if it wouldn’t be stylish. -You could drape some turkey-red calico over the -top, kinder canopy style, and I and Ury could dress -like them Spanish Matadors with knee-breeches and -a long sash, and some feathers in our hats.”</p> - -<p>Sez he, growin’ enthused with the new idee, -“We could use our winter scarfs—they’re very gay -colored; and I could take that long feather out of -your winter bunnet, and have it hang down gracefully -over my left shoulder, and I guess Tirzah Ann -would lend me a couple to stand up in front. I -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_661">[Pg 661]</span> -declare, it would be sunthin’ new and uneek, and -we’ll have it next fall.”</p> - -<p>I glared at him with a stuny look, and sez I—“And -while you’re all dressed up and -enjoyin’ yourself, what of the poor dumb -brutes who are made to suffer the agony -of death?” Sez I, “What happiness -could come to you built up on a custom -of pain and sufferin’, bloodshed -and terrer? Let me hear no more -about sech a seen.”</p> - -<p>“But,” sez he, “it would make -talk; it would be the topic in all -the genteel circles of Jonesville and -Loontown.”</p> - -<p>“If you should brain me with a -tommyhawk it would make talk,” -sez I.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp69" id="i_661b" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_661b.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>His Victim.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>“The idee of your follerin’ sech a -custom as this. I scorn and despise sech doin’s, -and I don’t see what a nation can be thinkin’ on -to allow it to go on.”</p> - -<p>Al Faizi writ down quite a -lot in that book of hisen about -the bull-fightin’, and he seemed -to be lookin’ for a peticular page -to jot down his notes.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_662">[Pg 662]</span></p> -<p>And Josiah sez (he hain’t no scruples about -questionin’ the noble heathen), sez he, “What are -you lookin’ for, Fazer?”</p> - -<p>He sez calmly, “I am looking for the page -where I wrote down the doings of John Sullivan -and other American prize-fighters. I wish to put -public exhibitions of this nature together.”</p> - -<p>His tone wuz as calm and serene as a cool afternoon -in June. He hadn’t a shade of sarcasm or -irony in his axent; no, he simply grouped similar -occurrences together.</p> - -<p>And where wuz my feathers that had stood up -hautily on my foretop as I condemned another -country’s doin’s and cuttin’s up? Where wuz -they? They wuz droopin’ and hangin’ down limp -on my foretop as I sot and meditated how we in -America allowed prize-fighters to knock and -bruise and maim each other in public for the delight -of the throngin’ multitude. Then fill hull -sides of our American newspapers with minute details -of their punchin’ and knockin’ down and actin’, -for the eyes of our youth to peruse and emulate. -Deeds of religion and science and philanthropy all -pushed into the background, amongst the advertisements, -while the papers were flooded with the -deeds of men fighters and men killers.</p> - -<p>The idee! What wuz I, to talk about the doin’s -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_663">[Pg 663]</span>of Spain or the doin’s of a Josiah, and look down -on ’em? Truly, folks who live in glass housen -mustn’t throw stuns; how many, many times I -realized this deep truth when I witnessed doin’s I -didn’t like in foreign countries!</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_664">[Pg 664]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXXVI">CHAPTER XXXVI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">A SPANISH FUNERAL AND A JONESVILLE ONE.</p> - -<p>While we wuz in Madrid we felt that we ort to -anyway visit the Escuriel, that immense palace and -monastery built by Philip II. He got skairt, -so I wuz told, and made a vow to St. Lawrence (it -wuz on that saint’s day) that if Lawrence would -help him git the victory, he would build a monastery -and name it after him. So havin’ won the -victory, he did as he agreed. He built this immense -structure; it took him twenty-one years to -do it. Out of compliment to Lawrence, who perished -on a gridiron, it wuz built in that form.</p> - -<p>I hearn Josiah a-explainin’ it that day. Sez he, -“It wuz built in the form of a gridiron because -that is the best way of cookin’ beef.” Sez he, -“After their bull-fights they have immense quantities -of beef, so this takes its shape from that -national characterestick.”</p> - -<p>But it hain’t no sech thing—he gits things wrong.</p> - -<p>Wall, it wouldn’t took us but a little while to git -to the Escuriel if the train had sprunted up and -gone as fast as an American hand-car.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_665">[Pg 665]</span></p> -<p>But we crept along so slow that it took us three -hours. Before we got there we see the buildin’ -loomin’ up so vast, so gloomy, that it looked like a -mountain itself—a low, big mountain without much -of a peak to it.</p> - -<p>We had to approach it with some dignity, it -bein’ a royal palace, so we got into a big covered -omnibus, drawed by four mules and two horses. -Though what peticular dignity there is in a mule -I never see before, unless it is in their ears. But we -got there all right, the driver a-yellin’ and whippin’ -the mules as if he wuz crazy. If you want beauty, -you won’t git it in the Escuriel, but if you want -size, there you are suited. It takes up as much -room as one of the pyramids; it has two thousand -rooms in it and five thousand winders, and the winders -wuzn’t very thick together, neither.</p> - -<p>There is a big meetin’-house in it, a palace and a -monastery and a Pantheon, where the dead kings -and mothers of kings sleep and forgit the troublesome -days when they sot on thrones, and worried -about their children who wuz settin’.</p> - -<p>This meetin’-house is grand and imposin’; you -can look down inside a long, clear space of four -hundred feet. Then there is a library, one of the -finest in Spain, and picters that are dretful impressive -in number and beauty. We wanted to see the -private room of Philip II., and so we wuz led up -grand staircases and through apartment after<span class="pagenum" id="Page_666">[Pg 666]</span> apartment -hung with the costliest tapestry.</p> - -<p>And havin’ seen sech glory on the outside, what -did we imagine must be the splendor of the inner -room, sacred to his majesty, where he sat alone -and sent out orders that ruled half -or three quarters of the world.</p> - -<p>Wall, I d’no as you’ll believe me -when I say the floor wuz brick—not -even a strip of rag carpet on’t, sech -as I spread down often in my back -kitchen.</p> - -<p>Poor creeter! I’d gin him a -breadth of my best hit-or-miss carpet -in welcome if I’d lived in his day, -and known how cold his feet must -have been as he stepped out of bed -cold mornin’s onto that hard brick -floor.</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp57" id="i_666" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_666.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>How cold his feet must have been -cold mornin’s.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And there wuzn’t a picter on the walls—not -one, only a picter of the Virgin.</p> - -<p>I’d a-gin him one of my chromos in welcome. I -had two throwed in at Jonesville with the last -chocolate calico dress I bought.</p> - -<p>He should have had one on ’em, and I’d a-gin -’em both to him if it would a-made that gloomy, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_667">[Pg 667]</span> -mysterious creeter any happier; and most probble -they would have had their influence—they wuz -very bright colored.</p> - -<p>One hard wood chair and two stools wuz the -only settin’ accommodations he had. I’d made him -a barrell chair, if I’d been there; if he’d wanted to go -in for cheapness, that would have suited him. Saw -a seat out of an old salt barrell and cushion it with -a old bed-quilt and cover it with cretonne.</p> - -<p>He could a-sot easy in it. Poor creeter! it -made me feel bad to think he always sot on that -hard board chair—not a sign of a cushion in it. -I could have made a good cushion for it anyway -out of hens’ feathers. And mebby he wouldn’t -been so hard on the nations if he’d sot easier—it -makes a sight of difference. Josiah wuz as hard -agin on Ury when he had a bile on his back, -and couldn’t set easy. I didn’t know but Ury -would leave.</p> - -<p>Wall, Philip lived here fourteen years, and -when he come to die, he died hard, so they -say. Mebby the oceans of blood he had caused -to be shed kinder swashed up aginst his conscience; -if it did, I hope the prayers he had knelt -on the hard floor and prayed all night long sort o’ -lifted him up some.</p> - -<p>Queer creeter! strange and mysterious doin’s! <span class="pagenum" id="Page_668">[Pg 668]</span> -A-prayin’ and a-fastin’ and a-killin’, a-prayin’ and -a-killin’ and a-fastin’! I am glad I hain’t got to -straighten out the dark and tangled skein of his -life and git the threads a-runnin’ even, and sort out -the black threads and the lighter ones and count -’em.</p> - -<p>No, it takes a bigger hand than mine to hold -’em, and a eye that looks deeper into the soul of -things.</p> - -<p>Wall, when he wuz dead at last they laid him in -the Pantheon. We visited the spot. We went -down first into the big, eight-sided room, a sort of -annex, where princes and princesses lay, and then -we went down a long flight of steps with walls of -jasper, into the room where kings and queens lay -asleep.</p> - -<p>This is a smaller room, but eight-sided, like the -other. The dead lay in black marble coffins, piled -up on top of the other, the kings to the right, the -queens to the left. Wimmen have to take the -second-best place even down there in the grave, -but then they wuz in a condition where they -couldn’t argy about it, and where it wouldn’t hurt -their feelin’s.</p> - -<p>It must have been a sight to see a king buried. -No funeral in Jonesville ever approached it in -solemnity or mystery.</p> - -<p>You know they don’t give<span class="pagenum" id="Page_669">[Pg 669]</span> up that a king is -dead till they go through with certain performances, -but they treat the dead body with all the honor that -they would give the livin’ monarch. When the -procession gits up to the door, the new-comer has -to be announced.</p> - -<p>A voice sez, “Who would enter here?”</p> - -<p>They reply, “King Philip.”</p> - -<p>Then the door is thrown open, and all the long, -illustrious procession of the noblest in the land enter, -and they lay the body of the king on a table, -for he has got to give his own consent, as it were, -before they will admit that he is dead—silence gives -consent, they say.</p> - -<p>So after all are gone the Lord Chamberlain lifts -the heavey, gold-embroidered pall, and kneelin’ -down by the side of his royal master, looks long in -his face to see if he recognizes him. But he don’t. -He lays cold and still as marble.</p> - -<p>Then he cries, “Señor! Señor! Señor!” and -waits for a reply. But as no answer comes, he sez—</p> - -<p>“His Majesty does not answer! then indeed the -king is dead!”</p> - -<p>So he takes the wand of office—the septer, I -spoze—and breaks it over the coffin in token of a -power that has ceased to be. Then he locks the -marble coffin, hands the key to the Prior of the -Monastery, and they go up the long steps and leave -the king to sleep with his own folks.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_670">[Pg 670]</span></p> - -<p>It must have been a sight to see it go on.</p> - -<p>Why, a mourner who undertook sech doin’s in -Jonesville or Loontown would find himself lugged -off to the loonatick asylum, or have threats on’t. -But the ways of countries differ—I didn’t make any -moves to break it up. I am very liberal minded, -and then I meditated that it wuzn’t my funeral.</p> - -<p>What made me say that a mourner in Jonesville -couldn’t do sech a thing wuz owin’ to a incident -that came under my own observation.</p> - -<p>A man that lived in the outskirts of Jonesville, -havin’ moved down there from Zoar, got it into his -head that he wuz goin’ to die on a certain day at -two o’clock in the afternoon.</p> - -<p>So what should that creeter do but write his own -funeral sermon, and gin out the word that he would -preach it at one o’clock sharp. Because he wuz to -die at two precisely.</p> - -<p>He got his coffin made, his wife got her mournin’ -clothes all done, for he wuz so dead sure of the result -that he had converted her to his belief. So at -one o’clock exactly the crowd gathered to see the -corpse, as you may say, preach its own funeral -sermon.</p> - -<p>The coffin wuz in the parlor, the mourners come -down from upstairs, some on ’em weepin’ bitterly, -and headed by the body, dressed in its shroud, <span class="pagenum" id="Page_671">[Pg 671]</span>bearin’ -its own funeral sermon.</p> - -<p>The mourners wuz arranged in orderly rows round -the room (he wuz wide connected), and the body -stood by the head of the coffin and preached a long -sermon.</p> - -<p>He touched on the sins of his hearers, and of -course they couldn’t resent it in him, bein’ a corpse’s -last thoughts, as you may say.</p> - -<p>He bore down hard on ’em, specially his relations—the -more distant ones, cousins and sech, -and kinder rubbed up his bretheren and sistern -some.</p> - -<p>But to his wife he spoke words of tenderness, and -in a touchin’ and fervent manner spoke of what she -had lost. He praised himself up to the highest -notch, and his wife sobbed out loud, and she had to -be fanned on both sides by a circuit minister and -his wife, who wuz present; and she sed to ’em that -she had never mistrusted before what a prize she -had in her pardner.</p> - -<p>He then warned his children to grow up as nigh -like their father as they could conveniently, and he -got ’em to sniffin’ and wipin’ their noses. He then -addressed the community, tellin’ ’em of their sinful -ways, and exhorted ’em to turn round and do better, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_672">[Pg 672]</span>and sed to ’em a few words of consolation about the -great blessin’ they had lost.</p> - -<p>And then he folded his shroud around him with -one hand, and with quite a lot of dignity he stepped -up into a chair, and so into his coffin. Then he laid -down, arranged the folds of his shroud and crossed -his hands on his bosom and shet his eyes up. As -he did so the clock struck two. He laid a minute, -while a dumbfoundered look swep’ over his liniment, -and anon a sheepish one. And then he -lifted up his head and looked round, and sez he—</p> - -<p>“There must be some mistake.”</p> - -<p>And one of the cousins, one he had rasped down -the hardest (they wuz at swords’ pints anyway, -caused by line fences), he hollered out—</p> - -<p>“Yes, I should think there wuz, you dum fool you! -gittin’ us all here right in hayin’ time to hear your -dum funeral sermon.”</p> - -<p>And another one he had reviled yelled out—</p> - -<p>“Why didn’t you do as you agreed, you consarned -loonatick, you!”</p> - -<p>And still another cried—“We’ll have the law on -you for this! You agreed to die, and we all got -together for that purpose, and we’ll see if we’re goin’ -to be bamboozled and fooled in this way. It is all -a contrived plan to abuse us and make fun on us. -But I’ll see if I can’t make you sick of sech dum -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_673">[Pg 673]</span>nonsense,” sez he. And he rushed for the live -body with sech vengeance in his eyes and a wooden -stool in his hand that the body’s wife precipitated -herself onto the coffin, and sez she—</p> - -<p>“I will perish with this noble man, if die he must” -(you see he’d worked her all up about his worth).</p> - -<p>Wall, suffice it to say, the cousin wuz overmastered, -and etiket prevailed, and decorum wuz established, -and the crowd dispersed, leavin’ him still in -his coffin, for he sed he wuz tired, and would lay -there for a spell.</p> - -<p>I believe he wuz ’fraid to git out. It kinder protected -his lims and body. But then mebby he told -the truth; the sermon wuz a powerful one, and delivered -loud—it must have used up considerable -wind.</p> - -<p>Wall, they talked hard of sendin’ Jake Bilhorn to -the asylum. He escaped it jest by the skin of his -teeth, as the sayin’ is. His wife testified to the last -minute that his mind wuz weak, and he couldn’t -help it. But she would watch him, she sed, and -take care on him. So it wuz agreed that he should -be let off on the Idiot Act, and she promised to let -him go to the loonatick asylum if he ever tried to git -up any sech performance agin.</p> - -<p>But I am a-eppisodin’, and a-eppisodin’ too fur, -too fur.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_674">[Pg 674]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXXVII">CHAPTER XXXVII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">AL FAIZI SAYS GOOD-BYE.</p> - -<p>Wall, the very next day, follerin’ and ensuin’ after -our visit to the Escuriel, Martin gin orders for the -march.</p> - -<p>We wuz to git back to London at the rapidest -rate possible, and from thence embark for home.</p> - -<p>Home! sweet sound! No word ever did, or ever -can, sound so sweet as that word “home” duz hearn -on a foreign shore. And though the journey seemed -long and perilous and full of fatigue and danger, -yet Josiah and I hearn it with joy.</p> - -<p>So after a journey that seems, to look back on’t, -like a confused dream of wonderful sights, and -strange ones, rumatiz, car whistles, big hotels, cold -beds, dyspeptic food, groans, sithes, beautiful views -seen from flyin’ trains, talk in a strange language -goin’ on round me, murmured words from a pardner, -better left onsaid, dreams of home sot in a frame of -foreign seenery, tired eyes and lims, dizzy flyin’ -through space, headache, etc., etc., etc., after this -dream we found ourselves in London.</p> - -<p>We parted with Al Faizi in London. It wuz on -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_675">[Pg 675]</span>the eve of our departure. Our tickets reposed in -Martin’s vest-pocket, so I spoze, and our ship wuz -to sail on the morrer.</p> - -<p>The lamps wuz lit in our room, and their meller -glow lit up the form of my companion, clad in -his dressin’-gown and layin’ -outstretched on the -couch.</p> - -<p>I myself wuz a-rubbin’ -my spectacles with shammy-skin.</p> - -<p>I see the minute that -Al Faizi come in that he -looked sort o’ agitated -and riz up like. And -anon I understood the -reason—he had come to -bid us good-bye.</p> - -<p>I felt mean—mean as -a dog. I hated to have -him go, though Common -Sense told me, and, of -course, I didn’t spoze that I could in the common -nater of things lug round a heathen with me everywhere -I went all my life; but still I felt bad.</p> - -<p>After the first compliments wuz spoke, and -he told us that he wuz a-goin’, and we told him -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_676">[Pg 676]</span>that we hated to have him go, and, etc., he -sez:</p> - -<p>“I have sought for the ways of love and truth -all through these Western lands—and now—”</p> - -<p>He paused, and only his dark, sad eyes spoke -for quite a spell. Finally I sez:</p> - -<p>“And now?”</p> - -<p>“I go back to my own country—I have many -things to teach my people.”</p> - -<p>“Then you <i>have</i> learnt some good things in my -country and on our tower?” sez I, glad and proud -to hear him say so.</p> - -<p>But his soft voice resoomed—“I have to teach -them many things—to avoid.”</p> - -<div class="figright illowp71" id="i_675" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_675.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>“<span class="smcap">I go back to my own country—I have many things - to teach my people—to avoid.</span>”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>I felt deprested agin. “But,” sez I, wantin’ to -git some closter view of his mind—wantin’ to like -a dog, for I hadn’t had, I can truly say, any more -clear view on’t than if we had lived some milds -apart, sez I, “you must have seen some things in -this land worthy your approvin’ of—these lofty -cathedrals built to the honor of the Lord. To -be sure,” sez I, “the poor are a-flockin’ round ’em -like a herd of freezin’ and starvin’ animals. But -look at the free schools and the great charities, -mighty and fur reachin’ in their influence.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez Al Faizi, “I have seen some things in -your land that I will teach them to do. I have -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_677">[Pg 677]</span>seen sweet charities—the sick and unfortunate -cared for; great free schools; crowds of little -children helped to better lives.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I, “a great many rich men and -wimmen give their money like water to help the -poor and unfortunate. To be sure,” sez I, “the -poverty and the crime is caused, most of it, by ourselves, -and Uncle Sam bein’ so sot on that license -business of hisen.” Sez I, “We cause the evils we -relieve in a great measure—but then—”</p> - -<p>I see that Al Faizi wuz a-lookin’ at me with that -same calm, sweet smile, and I’ll be hanged if it -seemed as if I could go on a-drivin’ them metafors -right in front of it. It made me feel curous as a -dog, and curouser to think on’t.</p> - -<p>There it wuz, he a-settin’ right by me, and I -couldn’t git a full, clear view of what wuz a-goin’ on -in his mind, his idees and emotions, no more’n -I can see the high trees in our orchard in a heavey -snow-storm.</p> - -<p>I spoze I showed my deep chagrin in my face, for -he hastened to add:</p> - -<p>“Everywhere I see strivings after the Good—the -Perfect Life. The nations are feeling after God. -But I see His truth covered up by a network of -man-made lies; and shadows of darkness, cast from -human comprehension, veil and shadow the sweet, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_678">[Pg 678]</span>just face of the Good. But evermore my heart -burns within me, and I long for the perfect way.”</p> - -<p>Right here my Josiah spoke up in this unappropos -moment, and sez:</p> - -<p>“I hate to say good-bye, Fazer, but if you ever -come up our way from Hindoostan, or Egypt, or -Africa, or wherever you are a-stayin’, you must be -sure to stop and stay overnight with us.”</p> - -<p>Adrian come in at that minute, and when I told -him that Al Faizi was a-biddin’ us good-bye, and -wuz a-goin’ away, he put both arms around his neck -and nestled his head aginst him. Al Faizi pressed -him clost to his heart and bent his head low over -him, and when he let him go, sunthin’ bright shone -amongst the curls and waves of Adrian’s gold-brown -locks, that Alice loved so well.</p> - -<p>Custom and pride makes folks reticent and keep -their griefs to themselves, but as long as human -hearts are made as they be now, they will ache. -Love’s arrers are sharp winged; when they fly they -don’t take any note of where they are a-goin’, and -the pain is keen and sharp when they hit—bittersweet -at any time, and sometimes bitter without the -sweet. The good Lord go with Al Faizi and comfort -him, so I sez to myself.</p> - -<p>He took both of my hands in his little brown -ones, and it seemed as if he would never let ’em go.</p> - -<p>“I will never forget you!” he cried; “you have<span class="pagenum" id="Page_679">[Pg 679]</span> -had for me the kind heart and kind deeds of a -mother.”</p> - -<p>I thought to myself that he might jest as well -sed a “sister” while he wuz about it, but then I -laid it to the excitement of the occasion—I wuz excited -myself and felt bad. I hated to have him go, -and when he wuz a-goin’ to let go of my hands I -didn’t know. I wuz a-thinkin’ that if he offered to -kiss me I didn’t know what I should do—it wuzn’t -nothin’ I wanted, leavin’ Josiah out of the question, -but I didn’t know what he would take it into his -head to do. But he didn’t offer nothin’ of the kind, -which I wuz glad enough on. But he gin my hands -a long, hard clasp, and sez he:</p> - -<p>“Farewell!” And then he let go. He looked -bad, sorrerful as death. And I sez, onbeknown to -me:</p> - -<p>“Won’t you wait and bid good-bye to Alice?”</p> - -<p>“No,” sez he; “I leave with you my farewell to -her. May heaven bless her!” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Amen!” sez I.</p> - -<p>It wuz some as if we wuz to protracted meetin’, -only more strange-like, and mebby not quite so -protracted, but curouser.</p> - -<p>Sez I, with a real good axent—“My heart will -go with you, Al Faizi; I shall think of you when -you’re fur away, some as I do of my own boy—knowin’ -that you are doin’ your best for your own<span class="pagenum" id="Page_680">[Pg 680]</span> -soul, and for everybody round you.”</p> - -<p>“I go to my own people,” sez he sadly. “Forevermore -will I work to help them to the right -way—help them to understand the teachings of -the Lord Christ. Nowhere else do I find such a -pure religion as His. In my own home, far away -beyond the dark waters”—and he made that -gester of his towards the East—“I will work -till I die to bring my people to know this -great love, this mighty King. And there also -I will pray that your people, too, may follow His -teachings, and the people in the great countries -I have visited with you, that these lands may -renounce their false ways, and follow His gentle and -lovely guidance, and be led into His truth. I will -give my life for this,” sez he.</p> - -<p>His tone wuz sweet and tender. It sounded to -me sunthin’ like the autumn winds a-rustlin’ the -leaves over the grave of the one you love.</p> - -<p>I wuz almost a-cryin’, and sez I:</p> - -<p>“Shan’t we ever see you agin?”</p> - -<p>He pinted upwards, his eyes wuz full of the -love and passion of devotion, of Christian -feelin’.</p> - -<p>“We will meet in that great land,” sez he.</p> - -<p>I wuz dretful riz up and glad and deprested<span class="pagenum" id="Page_681">[Pg 681]</span> and -sorry all to one time. I felt queer.</p> - -<p>But Josiah had to holler most the last minute. -Sez he, “What are you a-goin’ to do with that book -of yourn, Fazer?”</p> - -<p>“I will use it to help teach my people—to avoid -the mistakes of civilization.”</p> - -<p>Josiah sez, “Good for you, Fazer!”</p> - -<p>And I sez, “I always felt that we ort to have -missionaries come over here to teach us how to behave.”</p> - -<p>But his face had no triumph in it—no look of -reproach, only that sweet smile rested on it that -made his face look better than any face I ever see, -or ever expect to see.</p> - -<p>And agin he took my hand in his little brown -one; agin he said “Farewell,” and he wuz indeed -gone.</p> - -<p>I didn’t git over it all day.</p> - -<p>I felt some as if the meetin’-house to Jonesville -should dissapear mysteriously, as if sunthin’ good -had vanished, and some as if my boy Thomas J. -should go off out of my sight for some time.</p> - -<p>Adrian mourned for him several hours. Alice -wuz writin’ a letter home, and didn’t hardly seem to -know that he wuz gone, and Martin wuz glad, I -believe. He had never took to him for a minute.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_682">[Pg 682]</span></p> -<p>Wall, I will hang up a thick moreen curtain between -my readers and the voyage homewards.</p> - -<p>It needs a thick curtain to hide the fraxious, -querilous complaints and the actin’s of my pardner, -the howlin’s of the wind and waves, and the usual -discomforts of a sea voyage.</p> - -<p>There are times when Heaven knows I wuz glad -to hide behind it myself.</p> - -<p>Yes, I will cower down behind the thick folds, -knowin’ that I am doin’ the best I can for myself -and the world at large. Yes, I will let ’em droop -down over our voyage through the wild waves, our -arrival in our own dear native land, our feelin’s when -we see the shore we loved dawn on us out of the -mist, and when we sot our feet on the sile of the -Continent that wears Jonesville like a pearl of -great price on its tawny old bosom.</p> - -<p>I will also let its thick folds screen us in our -partin’ from Martin and the children, and our lonely -but short journey by our two selves.</p> - -<p>And I will only loop that curtain back in -graceful folds as we draw nigh to Jonesville—Mecca -of our hearts’ hopes and love.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_683">[Pg 683]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXXVIII">CHAPTER XXXVIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">HOME AGAIN, FROM A FOREIGN SHORE.</p> - -<p>Jonesville wuz bathed in the rosy hue of sunset -when Ury let down the bars and we passed up into -the lane leadin’ to our dear home—that sweet, restful -haven, into which Josiah and me truthfully felt -that our barks would sail in and be moored forever -and ever.</p> - -<p>Yes, we both felt that nothin’, nothin’ could -tempt us agin to spread our sails and float out of -that blessed Home Harbor.</p> - -<p>How soft the light fell onto the white curtains -with lace agin’! How sweet the rosy glow illumined -the piaza and front yard, and how it played round -the red chimblys and Philury’s collar, as she stood -in the front stoop to welcome us home! Inside -the house wuz all lit up, and when we entered, there -wuz the children all come to surprise us, and welcome -us home. They had sent Philury out, like -the dove, on the front doorstep, while they stayed -in the ark to surprise Ma and Pa when we -come.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_684">[Pg 684]</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp96" id="i_684" style="max-width: 35em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_684.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>They had sent Philury out, like a dove, on the front doorstep to meet us.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Oh, how glad they wuz to see us, and visey -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_685">[Pg 685]</span>versey. Yes, indeed, I guess it wuz visey versey—the -children and grandchildren almost eat us up, -and we them.</p> - -<p>A beautiful supper wuz a-waitin’ the tired-out -travellers. The girls had laid to and helped, and it -wuz a supper long to be remembered, and the children’s -and the grandchildren’s demeanors to us wuz as -tender as the briled chicken and cream biscuit, and -the ties of love that united us all together wuz as -strong as the coffee, and stronger, too, and mellered -down by our happiness, jest as that wuz with -lump-sugar and rich cream. And, oh, how good! -how good it did feel to be to home! Josiah the first -thing pulled off his boots and went round in his -stockin’ feet.</p> - -<p>I sez, “Why do you do that, Josiah?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, for no reason, only to swing out and do -jest as I’m a-mind to. After bein’ cramped and -hampered for months, I’m a-goin’ to act and feel -to home, and I’m a-goin’ barefoot for a spell,” sez -he, “as soon as the children go.”</p> - -<p>And, sure enough, he did, for all I could do and -say, and he sung several pieces while I wuz ondressin’—he -sung ’em loud. I remember he sung -the hull of “Robert Kidd” and “André’s Lament,” -besides some hymns.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “I’ve been pent up and bound down so -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_686">[Pg 686]</span>long that I’m a-goin’ to swing right out and act all -I want to.”</p> - -<p>And happy—why, happy is no name for the -feelin’s of that man, and I felt the same—yes, -indeed! Only, as my nater is, I acted more megum, -though I did kinder jine in with him in the chorus—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“My name is Robert Kidd,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">As I sailed, as I sailed.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>I wuz so perfectly happy that I had to.</p> - -<p>And when he struck into the hymns I jined in -strong, right there in my nightgown—“On -Canaan’s happy banks I stand,” and “Long time I -have wandered,” and etcetery.</p> - -<p>Why, Josiah sung the most of the time for days -and days.</p> - -<p>When Deacon Henzy come to see him, instead -of advancin’ and shakin’ hands dignified, as a foreign -traveller ort to, he jest advanced onto him, a-singin’ -loud—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Home agin, Deacon, home agin, from a foreign shore.</div> - <div class="verse indent2">And, oh! it fills my soul with joy</div> - <div class="verse indent0">To greet Deacon Henzy and the rest of the Jonesvillians once more.”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It spilte the meter, but he didn’t care. He acted -fairly crazed with joy to be home.</p> - -<p>The first thing he done the next mornin’ when -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_687">[Pg 687]</span>he got up wuz to throw his best clothes in a sort of -a scornful heap behind his closet door. He -throwed ’em some as if he hated the very sight on -’em. When I found ’em afterwards, all tumbled -in together, we had a number of -words.</p> - -<p>But, as I say, he throwed his best -clothes there, and specially his stiff -collars and cuffs—them looked some -as if they’d been trompled on.</p> - -<p>And then that man got on the -worst-lookin’ pair of pantaloons and -vest you ever see—holes in the knees, -and the vest ripped up in the back, -and the pockets hangin’ outside. I’d -been a-savin’ ’em for carpet rags.</p> - -<p>And he went down suller and took -a old coat offen the apple-ben. We -had used it for two winters to cover -up the apples in extra cold nights. -And the land knows where he got -the hat he put on—a old straw, the -rim a-hangin’ half off, and the crown -all jammed in. I guess he found it up in the -woodhouse chamber.</p> - -<p>But, anyway, his looks wuz sech, so onbecomin’ -to a deacon and a pathmaster, let alone a cultered -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_688">[Pg 688]</span>gentleman of foreign travel, that I took him to do -sharply about it.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp31" id="i_687" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_687.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>His looks wuz so onbecomin’ -to a deacon and -a pathmaster.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Sez I, “I won’t have you a-goin’ round lookin’ -worse than any old scarecrow, Josiah Allen.”</p> - -<p>He took up a position in front of me, where his -rags showed off to the most plainest advantage, and -sez he—</p> - -<p>“As you see me now, Samantha, you will see me -henceforth. I shall never, never be dressed up -agin as long as I retain my conscientiousness.”</p> - -<p>He spoke so firm, I felt some browbeat and -skairt.</p> - -<p>Sez I faintly, “Do you expect to go through -your life a-lookin’ as you do now?”</p> - -<p>“Always, always, Samantha; only worse, if I can -manage it.” Sez he bitterly, “I am a man that has -been dressed up too long; the iron has entered too -deep into my soul—the worm has turned,” sez he. -“I calculate to go in rags the rest of my life. And -I wish,” sez he in a pleadin’ axent, “I wish that -you would promise that you would bury me in this -suit—that you would take a vow that I shall not -be dressed up.”</p> - -<p>I wuz at my wits’ end; he looked as determined -as any old hen turkey ever did on her nest.</p> - -<p>But by a happy inspiration I sez—</p> - -<p>“Wouldn’t you ruther lay in your dressin’-gown, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_689">[Pg 689]</span> -Josiah? Think of them beautiful tossels,” -sez I.</p> - -<p>I see a change come over his mean; he wavered -and turned onto his heel, and went out-doors.</p> - -<p>And I may as well tell the end on’t. It wuz -that dressin’-gown that gradual won him back into -decenter clothin’.</p> - -<p>I lured him into that at first, and then gradual -into pepper-and-salt, and so on to broadcloth; but -it wuz a hard tussle! Collars and cuffs wuz my -worst battle-field, but I got the victory over ’em -at last.</p> - -<p>Oh, dear me, dear me, suz! what hard times female -pardners do have anon or oftener; but yet -I believe that pardners pay, after all.</p> - -<p>And it did seem so good to walk round the -house, free and ontrammelled, and see the old -bureaus and tables once more, and sasspans and -things; and go out into the garden and see the -garden-truck, and walk out to the barn and gather -the eggs, and count the chickens.</p> - -<p>And plunge into all the sweet delights that make -home a perfect Eden.</p> - -<p>Yes, we both felt that we should never want to -move a inch from our own fireside. But how -little—how little we can tell what is ahead on us in -the onseen futer.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_690">[Pg 690]</span></p> -<p>In this case Alice wuz ahead.</p> - -<p>We hadn’t been to home more’n several weeks -when that sweet creeter wrote to me, urgin’ me hard -to come and see her.</p> - -<p>She didn’t make no open complaints, but all -through the letter I could read between the lines, -as it wuz, the echoes of a sad heart.</p> - -<p>I felt, as I read it, that I ort to go right away and -see her.</p> - -<p>But I hated to leave home agin—I hated to like -a dog.</p> - -<p>So I writ her back as lovin’ a letter as I could, -and I kinder waved off the subject of my comin’, -sayin’ I’d come jest as soon as I could.</p> - -<p>A week or more passed, then come a letter from -Martin, sayin’ Alice wuzn’t very well, and had sot -her heart on seein’ me—wouldn’t I come?</p> - -<p>I went.</p> - -<p>Alice wuz dretful glad to see me, and in my lovin’ -sympathy her white face seemed to git a little -more color and brightness into it.</p> - -<p>Good land! I see what ailed her jest as well as -though I had took our big parlor lamp and walked -through her mind.</p> - -<p>Her father wuz jest as determined as ever that -she should have nothin’ to do or say to Richard -Noble.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_691">[Pg 691]</span></p> - -<p>And bein’ right here by his side, as it were, and -forbid to see him or speak to him made it fur worse -than it wuz when they wuz seperated by a ocean. -Her Pa had planned in his own mind that this -trip should ween her from him. But how mistook -he wuz!</p> - -<p>She had carried a faithful, lovin’ heart over the -Atlantic, and had brung it back with her.</p> - -<p>Distance had only drawed the ends of the love-knot, -unitin’ their souls all the tighter. They -couldn’t be ontwisted now by the hands of a Martin—no, -indeed!</p> - -<p>Martin wuz dretful good to me. He see that -Alice loved me and brightened up considerable in -my presence. And that would have made Miss -Belzebub welcome.</p> - -<p>And Adrian, how he did hang round me, sweet -little creeter that he wuz!</p> - -<p>Yes, Alice wuz the same, and Martin wuz the -same as before his trip. He kep’ right on in the -same old roteen of money-makin’, and money-savin’, -and obstinacy, and sotness, and ambition, and -etcetery.</p> - -<p>I found that out only a few mornin’s after I got -there.</p> - -<p>I happened to take up a daily paper, and I read a -piece in it about a horrible axident that had took -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_692">[Pg 692]</span>place right there in the city a few days before—two -children killed, and the driver of the car had -died from the effects of the horrow and remorse he -had experienced in causin’ the death of the two -children.</p> - -<p><i>Died!</i> when the poor creeter wuz no more guilty -than a babe for it. He wuzn’t no more guilty than -the spokes in the wheels. They all wuz run by -another’s orders.</p> - -<p>As I sed, I wuz so horrified by it, that I felt that -mad him or not, I must tackle Martin about the -matter.</p> - -<p>And I found that he wuz as stiffnecked and rambellous -as a iron-clad about it.</p> - -<p>And we had a number of words.</p> - -<p>And in the course of our conversation I atted -Martin agin about Alice’s lover. For her big, sad -eyes had follered me all the time I’d been there, and -I had vowed in my heart that I would help her to -her happiness if I could.</p> - -<p>As I sed, the pretty creeter had took her faithful -heart over the Atlantic, and carried it round with -her all the time she wuz there, and had brung it -back with her.</p> - -<p>Movin’ the body round don’t change the soul.</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_693">[Pg 693]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XXXIX">CHAPTER XXXIX.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">MARTIN’S TERRIBLE LESSON.</p> - -<p>Wall, I found that Martin wuz as immovable -and sot as a rock. “As for Alice,” sez he, “I told -you six months ago what I should do, and I never -change my mind.”</p> - -<p>And agin I sez, “Sometimes folks are made -to change their minds when they don’t mean to or -want to.”</p> - -<p>But before I could multiply any more words with -him a servant come in to say that a paintin’ had come -that Martin had ordered while he wuz abroad. -And he asked me quite polite to go in and see -it.</p> - -<p>He wuz glad of the interruption. He wanted to -change the subject—he wanted to like a dog.</p> - -<p>The picter had been onpacked, and wuz standin’ -in the big hall, waitin’ for Martin to decide where to -hang it.</p> - -<p>It wuz called “The Mother’s Sacrifice,” and wuz -the picter of a Eastern mother, who wuz a-throwin’ -her child under the wheels of a juggernaut to insure -its everlastin’ salvation.</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_694">[Pg 694]</span></p> -<p>Her face wuz torn with love and duty. It wuz -a impressive picter. He gin twenty thousand dollars -for it, for he told me so.</p> - -<p>Sez Martin as we looked at it, full of the rich -Oriental glow of forest and landscape, and the dark, -frenzied beauty of the mother’s face and the innocent -beauty of the child, who trusts to her love and -care and don’t mistrust its impendin’ doom—</p> - -<p>Sez Martin, “What a struggle is going on in that -woman’s breast! how her heart is torn between her -love for the child and her religious belief! What a -masterly handling of the subject!” sez he.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez I; “but what of the hearts of the -mothers who see their children crushed down under -jest as murderous wheels, and don’t have her religious -zeal to hold ’em up? That Eastern mother -thinks that this will insure her child’s eternal well-bein’—she -thinks the wheels move on in the cause -of eternal good. What would she think if she wuz -a American mother, and knew these wheels murdered -her child jest to save a little money—jest out -of wicked, graspin’ avarice?”</p> - -<p>Sez Martin coldly, “I don’t know what you -mean.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Yes you do, Martin; I mean your -trolley cars, that move on and crush down childhood -and age, when a little bit of money you spend -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_695">[Pg 695]</span>for this ficticious woe would relieve the real agony -which is goin’ on right before your front gate -through your own neglect.”</p> - -<p>I would gin him some sech little delicate hints, -whether he liked it or lumped it, as the sayin’ is. -Agin he sez in that dretful dignified way of hisen, -“I don’t know what you mean,” and turned away.</p> - -<p>But jest as I wuz withdrawin’ myself from the -seen, for I felt that these little blind hits I gin him -wuz enough for the present, Adrian come in, and -Martin called out—</p> - -<p>“Well, dear little Partner, what do you want?”</p> - -<p>And Adrian sez, “Alice and I are going out -driving, and I wanted to say good-bye to you.”</p> - -<p>Martin kissed the pretty face, with his adorin’ -love for the child a-showin’ plain in him. And -then Adrian come and kissed me, his gold curls -fallin’ back from his little, earnest face, and his -black velvet cap a-settin’ ’em off first rate, and he -sez to me, “Good-bye;” and I hadn’t any way of -knowin’ that that good-bye would echo through -the long futer and die out only at the Dark -Portal.</p> - -<p>Martin took out his purse and took out a roll of -bills and handed ’em to Adrian, and sez he, -“Hand that to your sister; I was going to give it -to her last night—it is for a necklace she wanted. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_696">[Pg 696]</span> -Be careful of it,” sez Martin as Adrian took it; -“it is five thousand dollars, and that is worth -taking care of, little partner.”</p> - -<p>Wall, they sot off, and I went back into a little -settin’-room acrost the hall from Martin’s study -and took up a book and went to readin’.</p> - -<p>It wuz a interestin’ book, and I wuz carried -away—some distance away from the big city and -trolley cars.</p> - -<p>When I heard a hum of a good many voices -in Martin’s room, and the door bein’ open, I -couldn’t help hearin’ what they wuz a-sayin’. It -seemed to be a deputation of some kind a-askin’ -Martin for some favor or other.</p> - -<p>For I heard him say out loud, “I am sick of -these complaints.”</p> - -<p>His tone wuz cold—cold as a iceberg. There -wuz one man amongst ’em who seemed to be the -speaker; he sez, “We are workingmen; we have -homes and families. We work hard every day. -We leave our children, that we may go away and -earn food and clothing for them; our houses -are the best that we can afford, but the best that -we can pay for lay in the populous region where -so many lives are lost by these cars. I know you -are the owner of that line, and we have come to -appeal to you.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_697">[Pg 697]</span></p> -<p>Sez Martin agin, “I am sick to death of these -everlasting complaints.”</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp56" id="i_698" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_698.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>Sez Martin agin, “I am sick to death of these everlasting - complaints.”</p></div> -</div> - -<p>His tone wuz cold—cold as a frog, and I see -from his voice that he wuz mad—mad as a wet hen.</p> - -<p>The man that answered him I could see from -where I sot wuz evidently jest a plain workin’-man, -jest like ’em that you meet in droves at 7 -o’clock in the mornin’ and six at night.</p> - -<p>But I liked his looks—he looked rugged and -honest, and his voice had a uncultured ring of -common sense and honesty, and at times a deep -sorrer and sense of wrong touched it to a rude -eloquence.</p> - -<p>Martin sez, and his tone wuz cold and smooth -as a icesuckle in a January mornin’—</p> - -<p>“What is it that you want me to do, anyway—tell -me as briefly as you can, for my time is -valuable.”</p> - -<p>Sez the man agin, “We are workingmen and -poor, and we do not expect to have many things -that rich people have, but we do want our children -to be educated. They must go out alone to their -schools while their mothers are at home working -to make a decent home for them, and they cannot -follow them only with their thoughts and -prayers.</p> - -<p>“These cars going with the swiftness of lightning -through these thronged streets, with no safeguard to -protect them, are the means of making fathers’ and -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_699">[Pg 699]</span>mothers’ hearts ache with fear and dread.</p> - -<p>“One of my own children, a bright little lad, my -only son, dear to me as my own life, was crushed -down by them on his way to school.” The man’s -voice broke here, for a rush of feeling swep’ up agin -his voice, and stopped it.</p> - -<p>“Another of these men lost a child, another saw -an old mother crushed down before his eyes as she -tried to cross the street, another—”</p> - -<p>“There is no need of repeating all this to me. -What do you want me to do?” I see by Martin’s -voice that he wuz madder than that wet hen a-settin’, -and obstinate.</p> - -<p>“We want to have you give orders to go more -slowly through crowded places and put fenders on -the cars, so as to lessen the peril as much as may be, -so we poor people, who have to live and labor in -these dangerous places, can carry a lighter heart to -our hard daily toil.”</p> - -<p>“Leave me your address,” sez Martin sharp and -cold, “and I will communicate with you.” Then -sez he, “James, show these men to the door. Good-morning,” -sez he. The door closed on the men, and -Martin crossed the hall with a quick step, and come -right into the room where I sot. In his haste to -git out of their sight he had, as the sayin’ is, -“jumped from the fryin’-pan into the fire.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_700">[Pg 700]</span></p> - -<p>For I sez, and tears wuz in my eyes as I sed it—</p> - -<p>“You will grant their request, Martin?”</p> - -<p>“No, I will not grant their request;” and he -went on sarcastically, “I don’t know what you -people want. Do you want to do away with cars -and railroads and go back to ox-teams and pillions? -Here a few men take a big risk, put all -their capital into an enterprise, doing the public -an incalculable good, and then they have to be badgered -night and day by the very ones they have -benefited, and by a set of philanthropic fools.” I -guess he meant me by that last term, but I didn’t -care; I wouldn’t have cared if he’d called me a plain -fool—I knew I wuzn’t. When you are out a-ketchin’ -a tiger you don’t care for a muskeeter’s bite; -no, your mind is sot on the tiger.</p> - -<p>I sez, “The cost is but triflin’ to one of your -means. Why not do it?”</p> - -<p>“Because I am capable of attending to my own -business, and I am not to be bossed by a lot of -workingmen and wild-eyed reformers and sentimental -idiots—I’ll do what I please.”</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Mebby you will, Martin, and mebby you -won’t.”</p> - -<p>Jest as I said these words a cry come up from -the streets—“A child run over! a lady killed! a -child and a lady killed!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_701">[Pg 701]</span></p> - -<p>“There,” sez Martin, actin’ impatient and mad -as anything—“there is another text for you, Cousin -Samantha; and probably the whole car full of people, -who have rode all over the city for five cents, will -all join in and shriek at me as a murderer and a villain, -because a couple of fools have started to cross -the track just in front of a car; in nine cases out of -ten the fault is their own.”</p> - -<p>But the cries outside grew louder and louder, and -finally Martin went to the winder, kinder flingin’ -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_702">[Pg 702]</span>himself along in a sort of a impatient way; and -he had been nagged considerable—I had to admit -it.</p> - -<p>He went to the winder, which looked down onto -the broad street below. He looked a minute; then -shriekin’ out—</p> - -<p>“My God! my God!”</p> - -<p>He fell down jest like a log at my feet.</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp92" id="i_701" style="max-width: 30em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_701.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>He fell down jest like a log at my feet.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>And what wuz the sight that struck him down -like a arrer?</p> - -<p>Two men of the very deputation that had jest -left the house wuz bearin’ between ’em the crushed -form of a little boy—gold curls wuz hangin’ back -from the velvet cap. A kind hand had covered the -little disfiggered face with a handkerchief. Behind, -two more of the men and a policeman wuz carryin’ -the crushed, senseless form of Alice.</p> - -<p>I hearn all about it afterwards. There wuz a -florist jest acrost from Martin’s, where a little bend -in the road made it impossible to stop. Little -Adrian had jumped out of the carriage and run to -choose a bokay of flowers to gin to me. They wuz -the English voyalets he loved so well. One of ’em -wuz in the buttonhole of the little velvet coat.</p> - -<p>Dear little creetur!</p> - -<p>And as he ran back the flowers fell; he stopped -to pick ’em up, and the car swep’ down on him. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_703">[Pg 703]</span>Alice see his danger, she jumped to save him, only -to be struck down herself.</p> - -<p>Wall, what tongue of men or angels shall describe -the seen that follered and ensued.</p> - -<p>Martin layin’ in a dead faint, like death to all appearance—and -it is blood relation to it. Little -Adrian layin’ white and cold on a couch in the reception-hall, -where the men had reverently laid him, -right under the picter of that Eastern mother.</p> - -<p>The agony in her dark face seemed to be for him, -too—the fair-haired child of the race who condemn -their barbarity, and practise worse.</p> - -<p>And Alice a-layin’ white and onconscious, but -breathin’ still, in her own room. One round, white -arm a-hangin’ broken by her side, and blood streamin’ -from a cruel gash in her head.</p> - -<p>Wall, the best doctors in the city wuz there in a -few minutes. But all their genius and wisdom and -learnin’ could not bring back the spark of life that -had flown away from little Adrian’s body.</p> - -<p>And then afterwards the clergyman come and -whispered consolin’ words to Martin in his darkened -chamber.</p> - -<p>But not all the preachin’ since Adam can make -death other than death.</p> - -<p>Martin didn’t want the clergyman—he wanted to -be alone. He wouldn’t see anybody, and he lay -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_704">[Pg 704]</span>still and cold after his senses come back—so still -and cold that the doctors feared for his sanity, and -even for his life.</p> - -<p>The first glimpse of interest he showed wuz when -they told him that there wuz a -chance for Alice to live.</p> - -<p>He turned his face towards the -wall (so the nurse told me, a good, -faithful creeter with a strong -breath, caused by stimulants, I believe).</p> - -<div class="figleft illowp47" id="i_704" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_704.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>A faithful creeter with a strong -breath, caused by stimulants, I -believe.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Sez she, “I went to the foot -of the bed and looked up, and -see tears a-streamin’ down his -white face. But I dare not speak -to him,” sez she—“no, I dare not.”</p> - -<p>Sez she, “His face had that -look on it that it frightened me, -and it gave me such a turn that -I feel weak yet. I guess,” sez she, -“I will take a drop to nerve me -up. Don’t you want a drop of -stimulant, too?” sez she.</p> - -<p>“No, indeed,” sez I, “I don’t!”</p> - -<p>“But,” sez I, “poor creeter, do everything you -can for him, for the hand of the Lord has dealt -sorely with him. And,” sez I, “I would gladly -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_705">[Pg 705]</span>help him if I could, but I can do nothin’ but pray -for him.”</p> - -<p>Wall, there wuz a big funeral in the church -where little Adrian had been baptized when he wuz -a baby.</p> - -<p>The minister, a very eloquent and high-priced -one, preached a beautiful sermon about the inscrutable -mysteries of our lives, and the mystery -of the Providence who should take, in sech -a onforeseen and onheard-of way the child of -sech a man, who had spent his hull life for the -good of the people—that angelic man, who wuz -a-layin’ now in his palatial home at the pint of -death.</p> - -<p>These last words affected the congregation dretfully. -A maiden jest behind Martin’s pew and a -widder jest in front (who both had hopes) sallied -away and partially fainted, and the widder had to -be borne out by the sexton.</p> - -<p>And as she wuz heavey, it bore hard on him. The -old maid revived in time to see the widder carried -out. Widders always will go further and resk -more than the more single ones.</p> - -<p>And the maiden wuz wroth for fear that Martin -should hear of it that she didn’t go so fur herself as -the widder did.</p> - -<p>I myself didn’t faint nor shed tears. I sot up -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_706">[Pg 706]</span>straight in that luxurious pew and kep’ a-sayin’ in -my heart—</p> - -<p>“Oh, God help that wretched man! God help -and comfort him, for nothin’ else can!”</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_707">[Pg 707]</span></p> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XL">CHAPTER XL.</h2> -</div> - -<p class="h2sub">“GOOD-NIGHT, LITTLE PARDNER.”</p> - -<p>Wall, that night after the funeral I wuz called -down into the parlor to see a stranger—a good deal -devolved on me in that awful time; I kep’ calm, or -tried to, and that calmness wuz like a paneky to -’em round me, and they didn’t see the tumult of -pity and grief that wuz a-goin’ on inside of my -heart onbeknown to ’em.</p> - -<p>I went down into the hall, and there I found a -handsome, noble-lookin’ young man, whose face -wuz so white with anguish and dread that I knew -before he spoke who he wuz, and sez I right out -the first thing, a-holdin’ out both my hands—</p> - -<p>“Alice is better.”</p> - -<p>He grasped holt of my hands as if he wouldn’t -never let go.</p> - -<p>Sez he, “God bless you for saying that!” He -wouldn’t go into the parlor, nor set down, or nothin’. -But it got to be my stiddy practice to go down -into that hall two or three times a day to gin him -news, and as the news grew brighter every day, jest -so his face grew brighter, till it got luminous with -joy and gratitude the day I told him that Alice -wuz out of danger.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_708">[Pg 708]</span></p> - -<p>Wall, there come a day, long to be remembered, -when Martin sent for me. I wuz the first one he -asked to see. He couldn’t talk much, and I jest -grasped his hand and sez—</p> - -<p>“I have been prayin’ for you, Martin.”</p> - -<p>“I knew it,” he whispered, “I knew you would.”</p> - -<p>And that wuz about all I could say. But I spoze -he felt the pity and sympathy that oozed out of my -sperit onbeknown to me as I looked down onto -that broken-hearted man, and he seemed to like to -have me round his room.</p> - -<p>Wall, it wuz weeks before I could go home, -Josiah a-bearin’ up nobly, aided by Philury, and -a-bravely eatin’ pancakes in her hours of too burdened -haste, and a-writin’ to me to stay if I could -be of any comfort to ’em.</p> - -<p>Noble man that he is, though small boneded -I am proud of him—a good deal of the time I am.</p> - -<p>Wall, there come a time when Martin, a-settin’ -up in his study and a-lookin’ over his papers, sent -for me, and spoke to me for the first time of -Adrian.</p> - -<p>He didn’t cry. His speechless grief wuz beyend -that relief, but he gin me to understand that his life -wuz a blank to him now.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “Martin, remember<span class="pagenum" id="Page_709">[Pg 709]</span> that Alice is left to -you—you have one child left.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” sez he, “but I want my boy!!” and he -busted right out into tears, and buried his face in -his hands.</p> - -<div class="figright illowp82" id="i_709" style="max-width: 15em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_709.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>He busted out into tears and buried his face in -his hands.</p></div> -</div> - -<p>Sez I, “Martin, do you remember what the dear -little boy said—he wuz a-goin’ to be your -pardner?”</p> - -<p>He groaned, “Why do you speak of -that? Do you want to kill me?”</p> - -<p>“I want to help you, Martin.”</p> - -<p>“Do you ever think -that Adrian can be your -pardner now, better than -he ever could if he wuz -on earth—as much better -as the glorified sperit -is above our common -humanity?”</p> - -<p>But agin he groaned -out, “I want my boy!”</p> - -<p>“It is hard, Martin,” sez I, a-layin’ my hand on -his bowed-down shoulders.</p> - -<p>“It is hard to know that the sweet little voice is -silent on earth, but he can hear you—he is a-hearin’ -you this minute; he hears the language of your -sperit as you vow to ondo the past so fur as you -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_710">[Pg 710]</span>can—to go on in the futer and work for the poor, -as he wanted to.</p> - -<p>“You can’t go agin these strong desires of your -little pardner, Martin—you’ve got to hear to ’em. -He is your pardner now jest as much as he ever -wuz, and more, only he has gone over the deep -waters into another country to tend to the interests -of the firm there. It is a country where the Right -is always done, where things that are wrong here -are made right—he will help you, Martin. He -wanted to work for the poor; why not let -him?”</p> - -<p>He lifted his white face, tears a-streamin’ down -it, but as my meanin’ dawned on him his mean grew -a little mite brighter.</p> - -<p>Sez I, “He is a-workin’ now for ’em.” Sez I, -“I see in the new look in your eyes the divine -work of your pardner.</p> - -<p>“He is helpin’ you this minute to think softer -thoughts. He is helpin’ you to remember that you -are to spend your money and his—for you told him -that it belonged to you both equally—in helpin’ the -poor, in helpin’ to surround their lives with safeguards,” -sez I, a-wantin’ to strike while the iron -wuz hot.</p> - -<p>“You are a-goin’ to git some fenders right off, -Martin.”</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_711">[Pg 711]</span></p> -<p>“Order five hundred of them right off—send for -a thousand of them.”</p> - -<p>“No,” sez I, “Martin, be megum. You’ve got -to be megum in fenders as well as any other goodness. -Why order a thousand fenders for one hundred -cars?</p> - -<p>“But,” sez I, “Martin, I will send for ’em.” -And I did, that very day, not knowin’ but he -would be some like Pharaoh, and his heart would be -hardened before night. I told his secretary within -a hour, and he ordered ’em before sundown on my -word. Oh, they think high on me—all on ’em! -He dassent refuse to take my orders.</p> - -<p>But I’d no need to have worried—no, indeed! I -felt ashamed to think I had let my mind sally back -to that old Egyptian Pharaoh.</p> - -<p>Martin’s repentance didn’t prove to be short-lived -and evanescent—no, indeed!</p> - -<p>He divided his property equally between himself -and his little pardner. He invested his pardner’s -money to the best of his knowledge, and every cent -of the interest of that money, and it is a immense -sum—millions of dollars. He uses it only as the -steward of his pardner. It all goes to help the -poor—to try to defend ’em from dangers, temporal -and speritual, from want, and from the worst -of all dangers—Ignorance and Crime.</p> - -<p>Dear little Silent Pardner! I wonder<span class="pagenum" id="Page_712">[Pg 712]</span> if you -know it? I wonder if, when grateful hearts rise in -prayer, callin’ you the saviour of their lives and -happiness—I wonder if them prayers and grateful -thoughts bloom out in some divine way, as they -reach the Heavenly country, so you can see the -desire of your little heart, and know that it is -granted?</p> - -<p>Are you ever permitted to come down in the -stillness of a Summer evenin’ and stand clost by the -side of that white-haired old man, who grew old so -fast after you left him, whose heart yearns for you, -and who is a-tryin’ so faithfully to carry out his little -pardner’s wishes? He sez that sometimes he -feels that you are so near to him that he almost expects -to see your face blossom out of the dark, like -the evenin’ star out of the misty twilight. And so -he can live, he sez.</p> - -<p>Did you stand in the church when Alice wuz -married to the man she loved? A ray of gold light -shone out sudden and luminous and lit her sweet -face as she took her solemn vows.</p> - -<p>Wuz it you, little Pardner? wuz the joy and glory -in your face permitted to shine for a moment on -the one you loved, in the supreme hour of her -life?</p> - -<p>We can’t tell this, little Adrian, but we see -your work goin’ on from day to day, and we bless -you for it.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_713">[Pg 713]</span></p> - -<p>We see it in the safety and protection thrown -around the masses, protectin’ ’em from physical -and moral ills; in the great free school which bears -your name; in the Adrian Home, where sick and -poor children find a home and tender care; in the -University, where your picter hangs over the doorway—a -doorway where any poor, ignorant boy may -enter, and go out a scholar; in the large, plain -church, whose best ornament is the stained-glass -winder bearin’ your name in gold letters, where a -pure Christianity is taught to all, rich and poor, and -the Blessed Master is brought near to sad lives by -the anointed lips of consecrated genius—where -rich and poor worship the God man together. -The poor givin’ their strength and good-will, the -rich givin’ their wealth and learnin’, and so becomin’ -a strong bulwark, protectin’ society from the -high flood of undisciplined passions—Ignorance -and Crime.</p> - -<p>Do you see it all, little Pardner? Sometimes I -think you do.</p> - -<p>I am writin’ this at the open winder you looked -out of as you sed you would work for the poor.</p> - -<p>And as I think how you have worked for ’em, -and are still a-workin’, my heart is as full of the - -thought of you, little Adrian, as the voyalets you -loved are filled with their strong, onseen perfume.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_714">[Pg 714]</span></p> - -<p>And as I set askin’ these questions, the twilight -shades are fallin’, the evenin’ star shines bright above -the golden west.</p> - -<p>And wuz that the odor of English voyalets that -swep’ by the open winder on the night breeze? -There’s a bed of ’em down in the garden. Did the -soft breeze come from that way—or further off?</p> - -<p>But I stop and lean out of the winder and say—</p> - -<p>“Good-night, little Adrian—good-night, little -Pardner—till mornin’.”</p> - -<p>And wuz that a soft, fur-off echo, or wuz it my -own thoughts that repeated—“Till mornin’”?</p> - -<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_714" style="max-width: 20em;"> - <img class="w100" src="images/i_714.jpg" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><p>FINIS.</p></div> -</div> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_715">[Pg 715]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="Other_Works_by_Josiah_Allens_Wife"> -Other Works by Josiah Allen’s Wife.</h2> - -</div> - -<h3>Poems.</h3> - -<p class="hanging2">A Charming Volume of Poetry. By “<span class="smcap">Josiah Allen’s Wife</span>.” -Beautifully Illustrated by <span class="smcap">W. H. Gibson</span> and other Artists. -Beautifully bound. Square 12mo, 216 pp. -Cloth, $2.00.</p> - -<div class="blockquot"> - -<p>“Will win for her an honorable place among American poets.”—<i>Chicago -Standard.</i></p> -</div> - -<h3>Samantha Among the Brethren.</h3> - -<p class="hanging2">By “<span class="smcap">Josiah Allen’s Wife</span>.” 100 Illustrations. Square -12mo, 452 pp. Cloth, $2.50.</p> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<p>“It is irresistibly humorous and true.”—<i>Bishop John P. Newman.</i></p> -</div> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<p>“It is full of meat as an egg.... Calculated to do immense good in that -department of women’s rights which relates to her participation in the great -work of the Church of Christ, <i>beyond the scrubbing and papering of the meeting-house</i>.”—<i>Ex-Judge -Noah Davis.</i></p> -</div> - -<h3>Sweet Cicely;</h3> - -<p class="hanging2">Or, Josiah Allen as a Politician. A Fascinating Story. -Square 12mo, 390 pp. 100 Illustrations. Cloth, $2.00.</p> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<p>“The interest of the book is immense.... Never was such a defender of -women’s rights, never was such an exponent of women’s wrongs! In Samantha’s -pithy, pointed, scornful utterances we have in very truth the expression of -feelings common to most thoughtful women, well understood among them, but -rarely finding voice except in confidential intercourses and for sympathetic -ears.... Alongside of the fun are genuine eloquence and profound pathos; we -scarcely know which is the more delightful.”—<i>The Literary World, London, Eng.</i></p> -</div> - -<h3>Samantha at the World’s Fair.</h3> - -<p class="hanging2">By <span class="smcap">Josiah Allen’s Wife</span>. Over 100 Illustrations by <span class="smcap">C. de -Grimm</span>. 8vo, 700 pp. Elegantly Bound. Cloth, $2.50; -Half Russia, $4.00.</p> - -<div class="blockquot"> - -<p>“There is no brighter literary outgrowth of the great event of 1893 than this -volume (‘Samantha at the World’s Fair’) from the pen of one of America’s happiest -humorists.”—<i>The Union Signal, Chicago, Ill.</i></p> -</div> - -<div class="blockquot"> - -<p>“Aside from the fun of the book, it recites multitudes of facts of positive -value.”—<i>The Daily Inter-Ocean, Chicago, Ill.</i></p> -</div> - -<hr class="r15" /> - -<p class="center">FUNK & WAGNALLS COMPANY<br /> -PUBLISHERS<br /> -LONDON   <span class="gesperrt">NEW YORK</span>   TORONTO -</p> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> -<div class="chapter transnote"> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="Transcribers_Notes"> -Transcriber's Notes -</h2> - -<p>A number of typographical errors were corrected silently.</p> - -<p>Cover image is in the public domain.</p> - -<p>Augmented Table of Contents with -“Other Works by Josiah Allen’s Wife”.</p> - -<p>Added caption “His Victim” to an illustration based on -List of Illustrations table.</p> - -</div> -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA IN EUROPE ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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