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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bdad2fb --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #66905 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/66905) diff --git a/old/66905-0.txt b/old/66905-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index c3aad93..0000000 --- a/old/66905-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,7885 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, -Volume 11, by Ambrose Bierce - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 11 - -Author: Ambrose Bierce - -Release Date: December 8, 2021 [eBook #66905] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Emmanuel Ackerman, Robert Tonsing and the Online - Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This - file was produced from images generously made available by - The Internet Archive) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COLLECTED WORKS OF -AMBROSE BIERCE, VOLUME 11 *** - - - - - - THE COLLECTED WORKS - OF AMBROSE BIERCE - - VOLUME XI - - [Illustration: N] - - - - - THE COLLECTED - WORKS OF - AMBROSE BIERCE - - VOLUME XI - - ANTEPENULTIMATA - - [Illustration] - - NEW YORK & WASHINGTON - THE NEALE PUBLISHING COMPANY - 1912 - - _FREDERICK_ _POLLEY_ - - COPYRIGHT, 1912, BY - The Neale Publishing Company - - - - - PUBLISHERS’ NOTE - - -The greater part of the contents of this volume is published in -admirable form by A. M. Robertson, of San Francisco, with the title -_The Shadow on the Dial and Other Essays_. When the prospectus of Mr. -Bierce’s _Collected Works_ was issued by our house in 1908 no allowance -was made for this matter, but through the generosity of Mr. Robertson, -and of Mr. S. O. Howes, the book’s compiler and editor, we are now -able to include it in our scheme, with revisions and additions by the -author. For this courtesy we are greatly indebted to Messrs. Robertson -and Howes. - - THE NEALE PUBLISHING COMPANY. - -April, 1912. - - - - - CONTENTS - - THE SHADOW ON THE DIAL - CIVILIZATION - THE GAME OF POLITICS - A POSSIBLE BENEFACTOR - WARLIKE AMERICA - SOME FEATURES OF THE LAW - ARBITRATION - THE GIFT O’ GAB - NATURA BENIGNA - INDUSTRIAL DISCONTENT - WRITERS OF DIALECT - CRIME AND ITS CORRECTIVES - ON KNOWING ONE’S BUSINESS - A TRADE OF REFUGE - THE DEATH PENALTY - RELIGION - IMMORTALITY - A ROLLING CONTINENT - CHARITY - EMANCIPATED WOMAN - THE OPPOSING SEX - A MAD WORLD - THE AMERICAN SYCOPHANT - DOG - THE ANCESTRAL BOND - THE RIGHT TO WORK - TAKING ONESELF OFF - A MONUMENT TO ADAM - HYPNOTISM - AT THE DRAIN OF THE WASH-BASIN - GODS IN CHICAGO - FOR LAST WORDS - THE CHAIR OF LITTLE EASE - A GHOST IN THE UNMAKING - THE TURN OF THE TIDE - FAT BABIES AND FATE - CERTAIN AREAS OF OUR SEAMY SIDE - FOR BREVITY AND CLARITY - GENIUS AS A PROVOCATION - A BIVOUAC OF THE DEAD - - - - - ANTEPENULTIMATA - - - - - THE SHADOW ON THE DIAL - - - I - -There is a deal of confusion and uncertainty in the use of the words -“socialist,” “anarchist,” and “nihilist.” Even the ’ist himself -commonly knows with as little accuracy what he is as the rest of -us know why he is. The socialist believes that most human affairs -should be regulated and managed by the state—the government—that is -to say, the majority. Our own system has many socialist features and -the trend of republican government is all that way. The anarchist -favors abolition of all law and frequently belongs to an organization -that secures his allegiance by solemn oaths and dreadful penalties. -“Nihilism” is a name given by Turgenieff to the general body of Russian -discontent which finds expression in antagonizing authority and killing -authorities. Constructive politics would seem, as yet, to be a cut -above the nihilist’s intelligence; he is essentially a destructionary. -He is so diligently engaged in unweeding the soil that he has not given -a thought to what he will grow there. Nihilism may be defined as a -policy of assassination tempered by reflections on Siberia. American -sympathy with it is the offspring of an unholy union between the tongue -of a liar and the ear of a dupe. - -Upon examination it will be seen that political dissent, when it -takes any form more coherent than the mere brute dissatisfaction of -a mind that does not know what it wants to want, finds expression in -one of but two ways—in Socialism or in Anarchism. Whatever methods -one may think will best replace a system gradually evolved from our -needs and our natures with a system existing only in the minds of -dreamers, one is bound to choose between these two dreams. Yet such -is the intellectual delinquency of many who most strenuously denounce -the system that we have that we not infrequently find the same man -advocating in one breath, Socialism, in the next, Anarchism. Indeed, -few of these sons of darkness know that even as coherent dreams the -two are incompatible. With Anarchy triumphant the socialist would be a -thousand years further from realization of his hope than he is to-day. -Set up Socialism on a Monday and on Tuesday the country would be _en -fête_, gaily hunting down anarchists. There would be little difficulty -in trailing them, for they have not so much sense as a deer, which, -running down the wind, sends its tell-tale fragrance on before. - -Socialism and Anarchism are parts of the same thing, in the sense that -the terminal points of a road are parts of the same road. Between them, -about midway, lies the system that we have the happiness to endure. -It is a “blend” of Socialism and Anarchism in about equal parts: all -that is not one is the other. Coöperation is Socialism; competition is -Anarchism. Competition carried to its logical conclusion (which only -coöperation prevents or can prevent) would leave no law in force, no -property possible, no life secure. - -Of course the words “coöperation” and “competition” are not here used -in a merely industrial and commercial sense; they are intended to cover -the whole field of human activity. Two voices singing a duet—that is -coöperation—Socialism. Two voices singing each a different tune and -trying to drown each other—that is competition—Anarchism: each is a -law unto itself—that is to say, it is lawless. Everything that ought to -be done the socialist hopes to do by associated endeavor, as an army -wins battles; Anarchism is socialist in its means only: by coöperation -it tries to render coöperation impossible—combines to kill combination. -Its method says to its purpose: “Thou fool!” - - - II - -Everything foretells the doom of authority. The killing of kings is -no new industry; it is as ancient as the race. Always and everywhere -persons in high place have been the assassin’s prey. We have ourselves -lost three presidents by murder, and shall doubtless lose many another -before the book of American history is closed. If anything is new in -this activity of the regicide it is found in the choice of victims. The -contemporary “avenger” slays, not the merely “exalted,” but the good -and the inoffensive—an American president who had struck the chains -from millions of slaves; a Russian czar who against the will and work -of his own powerful nobles had freed their serfs; a French president -from whom the French people had received nothing but good; a powerless -Austrian empress, whose weight of sorrows had touched the world to -tears; a blameless Italian king beloved of his people; such is a part -of the recent record of the regicide, whose every entry is a tale of -infamy unrelieved by one circumstance of justice, decency or good -intention. - -This recent uniformity of malevolence in the choice of victims is not -without significance. It points unmistakably to two facts: first, that -the selections are made, not by the assassins themselves, but by some -central control inaccessible to individual preference and unaffected -by the fortunes of its instruments; second, that there is a constant -purpose to manifest an antagonism, not to any individual ruler, but to -rulers; not to any system of government, but to government. The issue -is defined, the alignment made, the battle set: Chaos against Order, -Anarchy against Law. - - - III - -M. Vaillant, the French gentleman who lacked a “good opinion of the -law,” but was singularly rich in the faith that by means of gunpowder -and flying nails humanity could be brought into a nearer relation -with reason, righteousness and the will of God, is said to have been -nearly devoid of nose. Of this privation M. Vaillant made but slight -account, as was natural, seeing that for but a brief season did he need -even so much of nose as remained to him. Yet before its effacement by -premature disruption of his own petard it must have had a certain value -to him—he would not wantonly have renounced it; and had he foreseen -its extinction by the bomb the iron views of that controversial -device would probably have been denied expression. Albeit (so say the -scientists) doomed to eventual elimination from the scheme of being, -and to the anarchist even now something of an accusing conscience, the -nose is indubitably an excellent thing on man. - -We have grown so accustomed to the presence of this feature that we -take it as a matter of course; its absence is one of the most notable -phenomena of our observation—“an occasion long to be remembered,” as -the society reporter hath it. Yet “abundant testimony sheweth” that -but a few centuries ago noseless men and women were so common all -over Europe as to provoke but little comment when seen and (in their -disagreeable way) heard. They abounded in all the various walks of -life: there were honored burgomasters without noses; wealthy merchants, -great scholars, artists, teachers. Amongst the humbler classes nasal -destitution was almost as frequent as pecuniary—in the humblest of all, -the most common of all. Writing in the thirteenth century, a chronicler -mentions the retainers and servants of certain Suabian noblemen as -having hardly a whole ear among them—for until a comparatively recent -period man’s tenure of his ears was even more precarious than that -of his nose. In 1436, when a Bavarian woman, Agnes Bernaurian, wife -of Duke Albert the Pious, was dropped off the bridge at Prague, she -persisted in rising to the surface and trying to escape; so the -executioner gave himself the trouble to put a long pole into her hair -and hold her under. A contemporary account of the matter hints that her -disorderly behavior at so solemn a moment was due to the pain caused -by removal of her nose; but as her execution was by order of her own -father it seems more probable that this “extreme penalty of the law” -was not imposed. Without a doubt, though, possession of a nose was an -uncommon (and rather barren) distinction in those days among “persons -designated to assist the executioner,” as the condemned were civilly -called. Nor, as already said, was it any too common among persons not -as yet consecrated to that service: “Few,” says the chronicler, “have -two noses, and many have none.” - -Man’s firmer grasp upon his nose in this our day and generation is -not altogether due to invention of the handkerchief. The genesis and -development of his right to his own nose have been accompanied with a -corresponding advance in possessory rights all along the line of his -belongings—his ears, his fingers and toes, his skin, his bones, his -wife and her young, his clothes and his labor—everything that is (and -that once was not) his. In Europe and America to-day these things can -not be taken away from even the humblest and poorest without somebody -wanting to “know the reason why.” In every decade the nation that is -most powerful upon the seas incurs voluntarily a vast expense of blood -and treasure in suppressing a slave trade which in no way is injurious -to her interests, nor to the interests of any but the slaves. - -To-day even the lowliest incapable of all Nature’s aborted has a nose -that he dares to call his own and bite off at his own sweet will. -Unfortunately, with an unthinkable fatuity we permit him to be told -that but for the very agencies that have put him in possession he could -successfully assert a God-given and world-old right to the noses of -others. At present the honest fellow is mainly engaged in refreshing -himself upon his own nose, consuming that comestible with avidity -and precision; but the Vaillants, Ravechols, Mosts and Hearsts are -pointing his appetite to other snouts than his, and inspiring him with -rhinophagic ambition. Meantime the rest of us are using these imperiled -organs to snore with. - -’Tis a fine, resonant and melodious snore, but it is not going to last: -there is to be a rude awakening. We shall one day get our eyes open to -the fact that scoundrels like Vaillant are neither few nor distant. -We shall learn that our blind dependence upon the magic of words is a -fatuous error; that the fortuitous arrangement of consonants and vowels -which we worship as Liberty is of slight efficacy in disarming the -lunatic brandishing a bomb. Liberty, indeed! The murderous wretch loves -it a deal better than we, and wants more of it. Liberty! one almost -sickens of the word, so quick and glib it is on every lip—so destitute -of meaning. - -There is no such thing as abstract liberty; it is not even thinkable. -If you ask me, “Do you favor liberty?” I reply, “Liberty for whom to -do what?” Just now I distinctly favor the liberty of the law to cut -off the noses of anarchists caught red-handed or red-tongued. If they -go in for mutilation let them feel what it is like. If they are not -satisfied with the way that things have been going on since the wife of -Duke Albert the Pious was held under water with a pole, and since the -servitors of the Suabian nobleman cherished their vestigial ears, it is -to be presumed that they favor reversion to that happy state. There is -grave objection, but if we must we will. Let us begin (with moderation) -by reverting _them_. - -I favor mutilation for anarchists convicted of killing or inciting to -kill—mutilation followed by death; for those who merely deny the right -and expediency of law, plain mutilation—which might advantageously take -the form of removal of the tongue. Why not? Where is the injustice? -Surely he who denies men’s right to make laws will not invoke the laws -that they have wickedly made! That were to say that they must not -protect themselves, yet are bound to protect him. What! if I beat him -will he call the useless and mischievous constabulary? If I draw out -his tongue shall he (in the sign-language) demand it back, and failing -of restitution (for surely I should cut it clean away) shall he have -the law on me—the naughty law, instrument of the oppressor? Why, that -“goes neare to be fonny!” - - - IV - -Two human beings can not live together in peace without laws—many -laws. Everything that either, in consideration of the other’s wish or -welfare, abstains from is inhibited by law, tacit or expressed. If -there were in all the world none but they—if neither had come with any -sense of obligation toward the other, both clean from creation, with -nothing but brains to direct their conduct—every hour would evolve an -understanding, that is to say, a law; every act would suggest one. They -would have to agree not to kill nor harm each other. They must arrange -their work and all their activities to secure the best advantage. These -arrangements, agreements, understandings—what are they but laws? To -live without law is to live alone. Every family is a miniature state -with a complicate system of laws, a supreme authority and subordinate -authorities down to the latest babe. And as he who is loudest in -demanding liberty for himself is sternest in denying it to others, -you may confidently go to the Maison Vaillant, or the Mosthaus, for a -flawless example of the iron hand. - -Laws of the state are as faulty and as faultily administered as -those of the family. Most of them have to be speedily and repeatedly -“amended,” many repealed, and of those permitted to stand, the greater -number fall into disuse and are forgotten. Those who have to be -entrusted with the duty of administering them have all the limitations -of intelligence and defects of character by which the rest of us also -are distinguished from the angels. In the wise governor, the just -judge, the honest sheriff or the patient constable we have as rare a -phenomenon as the faultless father. The good God has not given us a -special kind of men upon whom to devolve the duty of seeing to the -observance of the understandings that we call laws. Like all else -that men do, this work is badly done. The best that we can hope for -through all the failures, the injustice, the disheartening damage to -individual rights and interests, is a fairly good general result, -enabling us to walk abroad among our fellows unafraid, to meet even the -tribesmen from another valley without too imminent a peril of braining -and evisceration. Of that small security the anarchist would deprive -us. But without that nothing is of value and we shall be willing to -renounce the anarchist. - -Our system of civilization, being the natural outgrowth of our moral -and intellectual natures, is open to criticism and subject to revision. -Our laws, being of human origin, are faulty and their application -is disappointing. Dissent, dissatisfaction, deprecation, proposals -for a better system fortified with better laws more intelligently -administered—these are permissible and should be welcome. The decent -socialist (when he is not carried away by zeal to pool issues with the -anarchist) may have that in him which it does us good to hear. Wrong in -all else, he may be right in showing us wherein we ourselves are wrong. -Anyhow, his desire is amendment, and so long as his paths are peace -he has the right to walk therein, exhorting as he goes. The French -communist who does not preach Petroleum and It Rectified is to be -regarded with more than amusement, more than compassion. There is room -for him and his fad; there are hospitable ears for his boast that Jesus -Christ would have been a communist if there had been communes. They -really “did not know everything down in Judee.” But for the anarchist, -whose aim is not amendment, but destruction—not welfare to the race, -but mischief to a part of it—not happiness for the future, but revenge -for the past—for that animal there should be no close season, for that -savage no reservation. Society has not the right to grant life to -one who denies the right to live. The proponent of reversion to the -_régime_ of lacking noses should lack a nose. - - - V - -Of all the wild asses that roam the plain, the wildest wild ass that -roams the plain is indubitably the one that lifts his voice and heel -against that Socialism known as “public ownership of public utilities,” -on the ground of “principle.” There may be honest, and in some degree -intelligent, opposition on the ground of expediency. Many persons -whom it is a pleasure to respect believe that a government railway, -for example, would be less efficiently managed than the same railway -in private hands, and that political dangers lurk in the proposal so -enormously to increase the number of Federal employees as government -ownership of railways would entail. They think, in other words, that -the policy is inexpedient. It is a duty to reason with them, which, -as a rule, one can do without being insulted. But he who greets the -proposal with a howl of derision as “Socialism!” is not a respectable -opponent. Eyes he has, but he sees not; ears—O, very abundant ears—but -he hears not the still, small voice of history, nor the still smaller -voice of common sense. - -Obviously to those who, having eyes, do see, public ownership of -anything is a step in the direction of Socialism, for perfect Socialism -means public ownership of everything. But “principle” has nothing to -do with it. The principle of public ownership is already accepted and -established. It has no visible opponents except in the camp of the -anarchists, and fewer of them are visible there than soap and water -would reveal. Antagonists of the principle of Socialism lost their -fight when the first human government held the dedicatory exercises of -a cave of legislation. Since then the only question about the matter -has been how far the extension of Socialism is expedient. Some would -draw the limiting line at one place, some at another; but only a fool -thinks there can be government without it, or good government without a -great deal of it. (The fact that we have always had a great deal of it, -yet never had good government, affirms nothing that it is worth while -to consider.) The word-worn example of our postal department is only -one of a thousand instances of pure Socialism. If it did not exist, -how bitter an opposition a proposal to establish it would evoke from -adversaries of the Red Rag! The government builds and operates bridges -with general assent; but, as the late General Walker pointed out, it -may under some circumstances be more economical, or better otherwise, -to build and operate a ferry boat, which is a floating bridge. But that -is opposed as rank Socialism. - -The truth is that the men of “principle” are a pretty dangerous class, -generally speaking—and they are generally speaking. It is they that -hamper us in every war. It is they who, preventing concentration and -regulation of unabolishable evils, promote their distribution and -liberty. Moral principles are pretty good things—for the young and -those not well grounded in goodness. If one have an impediment in -his thought, or is otherwise unequal to emergencies as they arise, -it is safest to be provided beforehand with something to refer to in -order that a right decision may be made without taking thought. But -spirits of a purer fire prefer to decide each question as it comes up, -and to act upon the merits of the case, unbound and unpledged. With a -quick intelligence, a capable conscience and a habit of doing right -automatically, one has little need to burden one’s mind and memory with -a set of solemn principles formulated by owlish philosophers who do not -happen to know that what is right is merely what, in the long run and -with regard to the greater number of cases, is expedient. Principle -is not always an infallible guide. For illustration, it is not always -expedient—that is, for the good of all concerned—to tell the truth, -to be entirely just or merciful, to pay a debt. I can conceive a case -in which it would be right to assassinate one’s neighbor. Suppose him -to be a desperate scoundrel of a chemist who has devised a means of -setting the atmosphere afire. The man who should go through life on -an inflexible line of principle would border his path with a havoc of -human happiness. - -What one may think perfect one may not always think desirable. By -“perfect” one may mean merely complete, and the word was so used in -my reference to Socialism. I am not myself an advocate of “perfect -Socialism,” but as to government ownership of railways, there is -doubtless a good deal to be said on both sides. One argument in its -favor appears decisive; under a system subject to popular control the -law of gravitation would be shorn of its preëminence as a means of -removing personal property from the baggage car. - - - VI - -When M. Casimir-Perier resigned the French presidency there were -those who regarded the act as weak, cowardly, undutiful and otherwise -censurable. It seems to me the act, not of a feeble man, but of a -strong one—not that of a coward, but that of a gentleman. Indeed, -I hardly know where to look in history for an act more entirely -gratifying to my sense of the “fitness of things” than this dignified -notification to mankind that in consenting to serve one’s country one -does not relinquish the right to decent treatment—to immunity from -factious opposition and abuse—to at least as much civil consideration -as is due from the church to the devil. - -M. Casimir-Perier did not seek the presidency of the French republic; -it was thrust upon him against his protestations by an apparently -unanimous mandate of the French people in an emergency which it was -thought that he was the best man to meet. That he met it with modesty -and courage was testified without dissent. That he afterward did -anything to forfeit the confidence and respect that he then inspired is -not true, and nobody believes it true. Yet in his letter of resignation -he said, and said truly: - -“For the last six months a campaign of slander and insult has been -going on against the army, magistrates, Parliament and the hierarchical -Chief of State, and this license to disseminate social hatred continues -to be called ‘liberty of thought.’” - -And with a dignity to which it seems strange that any one could be -insensible, he added: - -“The respect and ambition which I entertain for my country will not -allow me to acknowledge that the servants of the country, and he who -represents it in the presence of foreign nations, may be insulted every -day.” - -These are manly words. Have we any warrant for demanding or expecting -that men of clean life and character will devote themselves to the good -of ingrates who pay, and ingrates who permit them to pay, in flung mud? -It is hardly credible that among even those persons most infatuated -by contemplation of their own merit as pointed out by their thrifty -sycophants “liberty of thought” has been carried to that extreme. The -right of the State to demand the sacrifice of the citizen’s life is a -doctrine as old as the patriotism that concedes it, but the right to -require him to forego his good name—that is something new under the sun. - -“Perhaps in laying down my functions,” said M. Casimir-Perier, “I shall -have marked out a path of duty to those who are solicitous for the -dignity, power and good name of France in the world.” - -We may be permitted to hope that the lesson is wider than France and -more lasting than the French republic. It is well that not only France -but all other countries with “popular institutions” should learn that -if they wish to command the services of men of honor they must accord -them honorable treatment; the rule now is for the party to which they -belong to give them a half-hearted support while suffering all other -parties to slander and insult them. The action of the president of -the French republic in these disgusting circumstances is exceptional -and unusual only in respect of his courage in expressly resenting his -wrong. Everywhere the unreasonable complaint is heard that good men -will not “go into politics;” everywhere the ignorant and malignant -masses and their no less malignant and hardly less ignorant leaders -and spokesmen, having sown the wind of reasonless obstruction and -partisan vilification, are reaping the whirlwind of misrule. So far as -concerns the public service, gentlemen are mostly on a strike against -introduction of the mud-machine. This high-minded political workman, -Casimir-Perier, never showed to so noble advantage as in gathering up -his tools and walking out. - -It may be, and a thousand times has been, urged that abstention from -activity in public affairs by men of brains and character leaves the -business of government in the hands of the incapable and the vicious. -In whose hands, pray, in a republic, does it logically belong? What -does the theory of “representative government” affirm? What is the -lesson of every netherward extension of the suffrage? What do we -mean by permitting it to “broaden slowly down” to lower and lower -intelligences and moralities?—what but that stupidity and vice, equally -with virtue and wisdom, are entitled to a voice in political affairs? - -A person that is fit to vote is fit to be voted for. He who is -competent for the high and difficult function of choosing an officer -of the state is competent to serve the state as an officer. To deny -him the right is illogical and unjust. Participation in government -can not be at the same time a privilege and a duty, and he who claims -it as a privilege must not speak of another’s renunciation (whereby -himself is more highly privileged) as “shirking.” With every retirement -from politics increased power passes to those who remain. Shall they -protest? Who else is to protest? The complaint of “incivism” would be -more reasonable if there were some one by whom it could reasonably be -made. - -The public officials of this favored country, Heaven be thanked, are -infrequently slandered: they are, as a rule, so bad that calumniation -is a compliment. Our best men, with here and there an exception, have -been driven out of public life, or made afraid to enter it. Even our -spasmodic efforts at reform fail ludicrously for lack of leaders -unaffiliated with “the thing to be reformed.” Unless attracted by the -salary, why should a gentleman “aspire” to the presidency of the United -States? During his canvass (and he is expected to “run,” not merely to -“stand”) he will have from his own party a support that should make -him blush, and from all the others an opposition that will stick at -nothing to accomplish his satisfactory defamation. After his election -his partition and allotment of the loaves and fishes will estrange an -important and thenceforth implacable faction of his following without -appeasing the animosity of any one else. At the finish of his term the -utmost that he can expect in the way of reward not expressible in terms -of the national currency is that not much more than one-half of his -countrymen will believe him a scoundrel to the end of their days. - - - VII - -The trend of political thought and action in all civilized countries -toward absolute Socialism is so conspicuous a phenomenon that it not -only impresses that rare and execrated intelligence, the impartial -observer, “the looker-on at the game,” but is seen with greater or -less distinctness by the innumerable company of players. A political -faith is a kind of mental disability; the patient dimly discerns some -of the more salient of the “opposing facts,” but those grateful to -his disorder loom large indeed. The proposition that the established -order of things is in peril, has, therefore, both a stammering and a -stentorian assent and needs no proof. Whether that is for better or for -worse is not to be answered in an epigram, nor in a paragraph, but from -the viewpoint of the looker-on with no more than an observer’s interest -in the matter, little is seen to encourage the optimist—little even of -the little that he requires. - -Down to date the world never has had good government. For forms of -government fools have contested from the dawn of history, but no form -has given good and wise administration. Government is like medicine; -those who administer it are, as a rule, wiser than those to whom it is -administered, though not much. In point of conscience there is little -to choose between them. - -There are two forms of real government; absolute Monarchy and absolute -Democracy; all others are bastard forms attesting the failure of these, -and themselves doomed to fail. The cause of failure lies in the -essential folly and badness of human nature. From a stupid and selfish -people there is no certainty of getting a wise and conscientious -sovereign. Even when that miracle has been wrought, good government has -not resulted, for the sovereign, however absolute in theory, however -good and wise in fact, is compelled to work through shallow and selfish -officials. Democracy suffers the same disability, with the added -disadvantage of a sovereign that is never wise and never just. - -As to limited Monarchies and constitutional Democracies, they -are similarly and equally futile. Divided authority is divided -responsibility. Restraint of the power to do evil is restraint of -the power to do good. Under the “one-man power” (a name, by the way, -that our good forefathers singularly chose to give to the rule of the -British ministry and parliament) it is at least known who is to blame -for sins of administration, and to whom is due the credit for what is -creditable. The autocrat can not hide behind his own back. - -In all the various and vain experiments in government the one cause -of failure is eternally manifest; the general moral and intellectual -delinquency that makes government necessary—the folly and depravity of -human nature. - -Do the socialists think that they can alter that?—do they believe that -after all these centuries of thought and experiment in government in -all possible conditions, it has remained for them to devise a system -powerful to chain or persuasive to charm the hitherto indomitable and -vigilant selfishness to which, despite its ghastly perversions, the -race owes its continued existence? Do they believe that under Socialism -the laws will execute themselves without human agency; that less than -to-day the state will require a vast and complex administration, with -the same and greater temptations and opportunities to ambition and -cupidity? - -Under any conceivable system the cleverest, most enterprising and least -scrupulous men will be at the head of affairs, and they will not be -there “for their health.” You cannot keep them down, and you cannot -keep the others up. If the socialist thinks that can be done, he must -hold in hope a better kind of ballot than the kind that works him -present woe, or a brand-new infallibility for its casting. - - - VIII - -A government that does not protect life is a flat failure, no matter -what else it may do. Life being almost universally regarded as the -most precious possession, its security is the first and highest -essential—not the life of him who takes life, but the life which -is exposed defenceless to his hateful hand. In no country in the -world, civilized or savage, is life so insecure as in this. In no -country in the world is murder held in so light reprobation. In no -battle of modern times have so many lives been taken as are lost -annually in the United States through public indifference to the -crime of homicide—through disregard of law, through bad government. -If American self-government with its ten thousand homicides a year -is good government there is no such thing as bad. Self-government? -What monstrous nonsense! Who governs himself needs no government, -has no governor, is not governed. If government has any meaning it -means the restraint of the many by the few—the subordination of -numbers to brains. It means denial to the masses of the right to cut -their own throats and ours. It means grasp and control of all social -forces and material enginery—a vigilant censorship of the press, a -firm hand upon the churches, keen supervision of public meetings and -public amusements, command of the railroads, telegraph and all means -of communication. It means, in short, ability to make use of all -beneficent influences of enlightenment for the general good, and to -array all the powers of civilization against civilization’s natural -enemies—“the masses.” Government like this has a thousand defects, but -it has one merit: it is government. - -Despotism? Yes. It is the despotisms of the world that have been the -conservators of civilization. It is the despot who, most powerful for -mischief, is alone powerful for good. It is conceded that government is -necessary—even by the “fierce democracies” that madly renounce it. But -in so far as government is not despotic it is not government. In Europe -for the last one hundred years, the trend of government has been toward -liberalization. Sovereign after sovereign has surrendered prerogative -after prerogative; the nobility, privilege after privilege. Mark -the result: society honeycombed with treason; property menaced with -partition; assassination studied as a science and practiced as an art; -everywhere powerful secret organizations sworn to demolish the social -fabric that the slow centuries have but just erected, and unmindful -that themselves will perish in the wreck. No heart can beat tranquilly -under clean linen. Such is the gratitude, such is the wisdom, such the -virtue of “The Masses.” - -That ancient and various device, “a republican form of government,” -appears to be too good for all the peoples of the earth excepting -one. It is partly successful in Switzerland; in France and America, -where the majority is composed of persons having dark understandings -and criminal instincts, it has broken down. In our case, as in every -case, the momentum of successful revolution carried us too far. We -rebelled against tyranny and having overthrown it, overthrew also the -governmental form in which it had happened to be manifest. In their -anger and their triumph our good grandfathers acted somewhat in the -spirit of the Irishman who cudgeled the dead snake until nothing of -it was left, in order to make it “sinsible of its desthruction.” They -meant it all, too, honest souls! For a long time after the setting up -of the republic the republic meant active hatred to kings, nobles, -aristocracies. It was held, and rightly held, that a nobleman could -not breathe in America—that he left his title and his privileges on -the ship that brought him over. Do we observe anything of that in this -generation? On the landing of a foreign king, prince or nobleman—even -a miserable “knight”—do we not execute sycophantic genuflexions? -Are not our newspapers full of flamboyant descriptions and qualming -adulation? Nay, does not our president himself—successor to Washington -and Jefferson!—greet and entertain the “nation’s guest”? Is not the -American young woman crazy to mate with a male of title? Does all -this represent no retrogression?—is it not the backward movement of -the shadow on the dial? Doubtless the republican idea has struck -strong roots into the soil of the two Americas, but he who rightly -considers the tendencies of events, the causes that bring them about -and the consequences that flow from them, will not be hot to affirm -the perpetuity of republican institutions in the Western Hemisphere. -Between their inception and their present stage of development there -is scarcely the beat of a pendulum; and already, by corruption and -lawlessness, the people of both continents, with all their diversities -of race and character, have shown themselves about equally unfit. -To become a nation of scoundrels all that any people needs is -opportunity; and what we are pleased to call by the impossible name of -“self-government” supplies it. - -The capital defect of republican government is inability to repress -internal forces tending to disintegration. It does not take long for a -“self-governed” people to learn that it is not really governed—that an -agreement enforcible by nobody but the parties to it is not binding. -We are learning this very rapidly: we set aside our laws whenever we -please. The sovereign power—the tribunal of ultimate jurisdiction—is -a mob. If the mob is large enough (it need not be very large), even -if composed of vicious tramps, it may do as it will. It may destroy -property and life. It may without proof of guilt inflict upon -individuals torments unthinkable by fire and flaying, mutilations -that are nameless. It may call men, women and children from their -beds and beat them to death with cudgels. In the light of day it may -assail the very strongholds of law in the heart of a populous city, -and assassinate prisoners of whose guilt it knows nothing. And these -things—observe, O victims of kings—are habitually done. One would as -well be at the mercy of one’s sovereign as of one’s neighbor. - -The anarchist himself is persuaded of the superiority of our plan of -dealing with him; he likes it and “comes over” in quantity, impesting -the political atmosphere with the “sweltered venom” engendered by -centuries of “oppression”—comes over here, where he is not oppressed, -and sets up as oppressor. His preferred field of malefaction is the -country that is most nearly anarchical. He comes here, partly to better -himself under our milder institutions, partly to secure immunity -while conspiring to destroy them. There is thunder in Europe, but if -the storm ever break it is in America that the lightning will first -fall. Here is a great vortex into which the decivilizing agencies are -pouring without obstruction. Here gather the eagles to the feast, -for the quarry is defenceless. Here is no power in government, -no government. Here an enemy of order is thought to be the least -dangerous when most free. And here is nothing between him and his -task of subversion—no pampered soldiery to repress his rising, no -iron authority to lay him by the heels. The militia is fraternal, the -magistracy elective. Europe may hold out a little longer. The great -powers may make what stage-play they will, but they are not maintaining -their incalculable armaments solely for aggression upon one another -and protection from one another, nor for fun. These vast forces are -mainly constabular—creatures and creators of discontent—phenomena of -decivilization. Eventually they will fraternize with Disorder or become -themselves Praetorian Guards more dangerous than the perils that have -called them into existence. - -It is easy to forecast the first stages of the End’s approach: Rioting. -Disaffection of constabulary and troops. Subversion of the Government. -A policy of decapitation. Parliament of the people. Divided counsels. -Pandemonium. The man on horseback. Gusts of grape. ——? - -The gods kept their secrets by telling them to Cassandra, whom nobody -believed. I am entrusted with the secret that the shadow on the dial -of civilization is moving backward. Believe or disbelieve—what matter? -Revelers with wine-dipped wreaths upon their heads do not care to know -the hour. Yet there are signs and portents—whispers and cries in the -air; stealthy tread of invisible feet along the ground; sudden clamor -of startled fowls at dead o’ the night; crimson dew-drops on the -roadside grass of a morning. But pray do not disturb yourselves: eat, -drink and be merry, for to-morrow comes Logical Democracy. - - - - - CIVILIZATION - - - I - -The question “Does civilization civilize?” is a fine example of -_petitio principii_, and decides itself in the affirmative; for -civilization must needs do that from the doing of which it has its -name. But it is not necessary to suppose that he who propounds is -either unconscious of his lapse in logic or desirous of digging a -pitfall for the feet of those who discuss; I take it he simply wishes -to put the matter in an impressive way, and relies upon a certain -degree of intelligence in the interpretation. - -Concerning uncivilized peoples we know but little except what we are -told by travelers—who, speaking generally, can know very little but -the fact of uncivilization, as shown in externals and irrelevances, -and are moreover, greatly given to lying. From the savages we hear -very little. Judging them in all things by our own standards in -default of a knowledge of theirs, we necessarily condemn, disparage -and belittle. One thing that civilization certainly has not done is -to make us intelligent enough to understand that the contrary of a -virtue is not necessarily a vice. Because, as a rule, we have but one -wife and several mistresses each it is not certain that polygamy is -everywhere—nor, for that matter, anywhere—either wrong or inexpedient. -Because the brutality of the civilized slave owners and dealers -created a conquering sentiment against slavery it is not intelligent -to assume that slavery is a maleficent thing amongst Oriental peoples -(for example) where the slave is not oppressed. Some of these same -Orientals whom we are pleased to term half-civilized have no regard -for truth. “Takest thou me for a Christian dog,” said one of them, -“that I should be the slave of my word?” So far as I can perceive, -the “Christian dog” is no more the slave of his word than the True -Believer, and I think the savage—allowing for the fact that his -inveracity has dominion over fewer things—as great a liar as either of -them. For my part, I do not know what, in all circumstances, is right -or wrong; but I know that, if right, it is at least stupid, to judge an -uncivilized people by the standards of morality and intelligence set -up by civilized ones. Life in civilized countries is so complex that -men there have more ways to be good than savages have, and more to be -bad; more to be happy, and more to be miserable. And in each way to be -good or bad, their generally superior knowledge—their knowledge of more -things—enables them to commit greater excesses than the savage can. The -civilized philanthropist wreaks upon his fellows a ranker philanthropy, -the civilized rascal a sturdier rascality. And—splendid triumph of -enlightenment!—the two characters are, in civilization, frequently -combined in one person. - -I know of no savage custom or habit of thought which has not its mate -in civilized countries. For every mischievous or absurd practice of the -natural man I can name you one of ours that is essentially the same. -And nearly every custom of our barbarian ancestors in historic times -persists in some form to-day. We make ourselves look formidable in -battle—for that matter, we fight. Our women paint their faces. We feel -it obligatory to dress more or less alike, inventing the most ingenious -reasons for doing so and actually despising and persecuting those who -do not care to conform. Almost within the memory of living persons -bearded men were stoned in the streets; and a clergyman in New York -who wore his beard as Christ wore his, was put into jail and variously -persecuted till he died. - -Civilization does not, I think, make the race any better. It makes -men know more: and if knowledge makes them happy it is useful and -desirable. The one purpose of every sane human being is to be happy. -No one can have any other motive than that. There is no such thing as -unselfishness. We perform the most “generous” and “self-sacrificing” -acts because we should be unhappy if we did not. We move on lines of -least reluctance. Whatever tends to increase the beggarly sum of human -happiness is worth having; nothing else has any value. - -The cant of civilization fatigues. Civilization is a fine and beautiful -structure. It is as picturesque as a Gothic cathedral, but it is -built upon the bones and cemented with the blood of those whose part -in all its pomp is that and nothing more. It cannot be reared in the -ungenerous tropics, for there the people will not contribute their -blood and bones. The proposition that the average American workingman -or European peasant is “better off” than the South Sea islander, -lolling under a palm and drunk with overeating, will not bear a -moment’s examination. It is we scholars and gentlemen that are better -off. - -It is admitted that the South Sea islander in a state of nature is -overmuch addicted to the practice of eating human flesh; but concerning -that I submit: first, that he likes it; second, that those who -supply it are mostly dead. It is upon his enemies that he feeds, and -these he would kill anyhow, as we do ours. In civilized, enlightened -and Christian countries, where cannibalism has not yet established -itself, wars are as frequent and destructive as among the maneaters. -The untitled savage knows at least why he goes killing, whereas our -private soldier is commonly in black ignorance of the apparent cause -of quarrel—of the actual cause, always. Their shares in the fruits of -victory are about equal, for the chief takes all the dead, the general -all the glory. - - - II - -Transplanted institutions grow slowly; civilization can not be put into -a ship and carried across an ocean. The history of this country is a -sequence of illustrations of these truths. It was settled by civilized -men and women from civilized countries, yet after two and a half -centuries, with unbroken communication with the mother systems, it is -still imperfectly civilized. In learning and letters, in art and the -science of government, America is but a faint and stammering echo of -Europe. - -For nearly all that is good in our American civilization we are -indebted to the Old World; the errors and mischiefs are of our own -creation. We have originated little, because there is little to -originate, but we have unconsciously reproduced many of the discredited -systems of former ages and other countries—receiving them at second -hand, but making them ours by the sheer strength and immobility of the -national belief in their novelty. Novelty! Why, it is not possible to -make an experiment in government, in art, in literature, in sociology, -or in morals, that has not been made over, and over, and over again. - -The glories of England are our glories. She can achieve nothing that -our fathers did not help to make possible to her. The learning, the -power, the refinement of a great nation, are not the growth of a -century, but of many centuries; each generation builds upon the work -of the preceding. For untold ages our ancestors wrought to rear that -“reverend pile,” the civilization of England. And shall we now try to -belittle the mighty structure because other though kindred hands are -laying the top courses while we have elected to found a new tower in -another land? The American eulogist of civilization who is not proud -of his heritage in England’s glory is unworthy to enjoy his lesser -heritage in the lesser glory of his own country. - -The English are undoubtedly our intellectual superiors; and as the -virtues are solely the product of intelligence and cultivation—a -rogue being only a dunce considered from another point of view—they -are our moral superiors likewise. Why should they not be? Theirs is a -land, not of ugly schoolhouses grudgingly erected, containing schools -supported by such niggardly tax levies as a sparse and hard-handed -population will consent to pay, but of ancient institutions splendidly -endowed by the state and by centuries of private benefaction. As a -means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school -system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin -to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he -would have been without it; but to compare it with that which is not -the creature of legislation acting with malice aforethought, but the -unnoted outgrowth of ages, is to be ridiculous. It is like comparing -the laid-out town of a western prairie, its right-angled streets, prim -cottages, and wooden a-b-c shops, with the grand old town of Oxford, -topped with the clustered domes and towers of its twenty-odd great -colleges, the very names of many of whose founders have perished from -human record, as have the chronicles of the times in which they lived. - -It is not only that we have had to “subdue the wilderness;” our -educational conditions are adverse otherwise. Our political system is -unfavorable. Our fortunes, accumulated in one generation, are dispersed -in the next. If it takes three generations to make a gentleman one -will not make a thinker. Instruction is acquired, but capacity for -instruction is transmitted. The brain that is to contain a trained -intellect is not the result of a haphazard marriage between a clown -and a wench, nor does it get its tractable tissues from a hard-headed -farmer and a soft-headed milliner. If you confess the importance of -race and pedigree in a horse and a dog how dare you deny it in a man? - -I do not hold that the political and social system that creates an -aristocracy of leisure is the best possible kind of human organization; -I perceive its disadvantages clearly enough. But I do hold that -a system under which most important public trusts, political and -professional, civil and military, ecclesiastical and secular, are held -by educated men—that is, men of trained faculties and disciplined -judgment—is not an altogether faulty system. - -It is a universal human weakness to disparage the knowledge that we do -not ourselves possess, but it is only my own beloved country that can -justly boast herself the last refuge and asylum of the impotents and -incapables who deny the advantage of all knowledge whatsoever. It was -an American senator who declared that he had devoted a couple of weeks -to the study of finance, and found the accepted authorities all wrong. -It was another American senator who, confronted with certain hostile -facts in the history of another country, proposed “to brush away all -facts, and argue the question on considerations of plain common sense.” - -Republican institutions have this disadvantage: by incessant changes in -the _personnel_ of government—to say nothing of the manner of men that -ignorant constituencies elect; and all constituencies are ignorant—we -attain to no fixed principles and standards. There is no such thing -here as a science of politics, because it is not to any one’s interest -to make politics the study of his life. Nothing is settled; no truth -finds general acceptance. What we do one year we undo the next, and -do over again the year following. Our energy is wasted in, and our -prosperity suffers from, experiments endlessly repeated. - -Every patriot believes his country better than any other country. Now, -they cannot all be the best; indeed, only one can be the best, and it -follows that the patriots of all the others have suffered themselves -to be misled by a mere sentiment into blind unreason. In its active -manifestation—it is fond of killing—patriotism would be well enough -if it were simply defensive; but it is also aggressive, and the same -feeling that prompts us to strike for our altars and our fires impels -us over the border to quench the fires and overturn the altars of our -neighbors. It is all very pretty and spirited, what the poets tell us -about Thermopylæ, but there was as much patriotism at one end of that -pass as there was at the other. - -Patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the -interests of a whole to the interests of a part. Worse still, the -fraction so favored is determined by an accident of birth or residence. -The Western hoodlum who cuts the tail from a Chinaman’s nowl, and would -cut the nowl from the body if he dared, is simply a patriot with a -logical mind, having the courage of his opinions. Patriotism is fierce -as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone. - - - III - -There are two ways of clarifying liquids—ebullition and precipitation; -one forces the impurities to the surface as scum, the other sends them -to the bottom as dregs. The former is the more offensive, and that -seems to be our way; but neither is useful if the impurities are merely -separated but not removed. We are told with tiresome iteration that our -social and political systems are clarifying; but when is the skimmer to -appear? If the purpose of free institutions is good government where -is the good government?—when may it be expected to begin?—how is it to -come about? Systems of government have no sanctity; they are practical -means to a simple end—the public welfare; worthy of no respect if they -fail of its accomplishment. The tree is known by its fruit. Ours is -bearing crab-apples. If the body politic is constitutionally diseased, -as I verily believe; if the disorder inheres in the system; there is -no remedy. The fever must burn itself out, and then Nature will do -the rest. One does not prescribe what time alone can administer. We -have put our criminals and dunces into power; do we suppose they will -efface themselves? Will they restore to _us_ the power of governing -_them_? They must have their way and go their length. The natural -and immemorial sequence is: tyranny, insurrection, combat. In combat -everything that wears a sword has a chance—even the right. History -does not forbid us to hope. But it forbids us to rely upon numbers; -they will be against us. If history teaches anything worth learning -it teaches that the majority of mankind is neither good nor wise. -When government is founded upon the public conscience and the public -intelligence the stability of states is a dream. - -In that moment of time that is covered by historical records we have -abundant evidence that each generation has believed itself wiser and -better than any of its predecessors; that each people has believed -itself to have the secret of national perpetuity. In support of this -universal delusion there is nothing to be said; the desolate places of -the earth cry out against it. Vestiges of obliterated civilizations -cover the earth; no savage but has camped upon the sites of proud and -populous cities; no desert but has heard the statesman’s boast of -national stability. Our nation, our laws, our history—all shall go down -to everlasting oblivion with the others, and by the same road. But I -submit that we are traveling it with needless haste. - -It can be spared—this Jonah’s-gourd civilization of ours. We have -hardly the rudiments of a true one; compared with the splendors -of which we catch dim glimpses in the fading past, ours are as an -illumination of tallow candles. We know no more than the ancients; -we only know other things, but nothing in which is an assurance of -perpetuity, and little that is truly wisdom. Our vaunted _elixir vitæ_ -is the art of printing. What good will that do when posterity, struck -by the inevitable intellectual blight, shall have ceased to read what -is printed? Our libraries will become its stables, our books its fuel. - -Ours is a civilization that might be heard from afar in space as -a scolding and a riot; a civilization in which the race has so -differentiated as to have no longer a community of interest and -feeling; which shows as a ripe result of the principles underlying it -a reasonless and rascally feud between rich and poor; in which one is -offered a choice (if one have the means to take it) between American -plutocracy and European militocracy, with an imminent chance of -renouncing either for a stultocratic republic with a headsman in the -presidential chair and every laundress in exile. - -I have not a “solution” to the “labor problem.” I have only a story. -Many and many years ago lived a man who was so good and wise that none -in all the world was so good and wise as he. He was one of those few -whose goodness and wisdom are such that after some time has passed -their foolish fellowmen begin to think them gods and treasure their -words as divine law; and by millions they are worshiped through -centuries of time. Amongst the utterances of this man was one -command—not a new nor perfect one—which has seemed to his adorers so -preëminently wise that they have given it a name by which it is known -over half the world. One of the sovereign virtues of this famous law -is its simplicity, which is such that all hearing must understand; and -obedience is so easy that any nation refusing is unfit to exist except -in the turbulence and adversity that will surely come to it. When a -people would avert want and strife, or, having them, would restore -plenty and peace, this noble commandment offers the only means—all -other plans for safety or relief are as vain as dreams, as empty as the -crooning of hags. And behold, here it is: “All things whatsoever ye -would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.” - -What! you unappeasable rich, coining the sweat and blood of your -workmen into drachmas, understanding the law of supply and demand as -mandatory and justifying your cruel greed by the senseless dictum that -“business is business;” you lazy workmen, railing at the capitalist -by whose desertion, when you have frightened away his capital, you -starve—rioting and shedding blood and torturing and poisoning by way -of answer to exaction and by way of exaction; you foul anarchists, -applauding with untidy palms when one of your coward kind hurls a -bomb amongst powerless and helpless women and children; you imbecile -politicians with a plague of remedial legislation for the irremediable; -you writers and thinkers unread in history, with as many “solutions -to the labor problem” as there are among you those who can not -coherently define it—do you really think yourselves wiser than Jesus -of Nazareth? Do you seriously suppose yourselves competent to amend -his plan for dealing with evils besetting nations and souls? Have you -the effrontery to believe that those who spurn his Golden Rule you can -bind to obedience of an act entitled an act to amend an act? Bah! you -fatigue the spirit. Go get ye to your scoundrel lockouts, your villain -strikes, your blacklisting, your boycotting, your speeching, marching -and maundering; but if ye do not to others as ye would that they do to -you it shall occur, and that right soon, that ye be drowned in your own -blood and your pickpocket civilization quenched as a star that falls -into the sea. - - - - - THE GAME OF POLITICS - - - I - -If one were to declare himself a Democrat or a Republican and the claim -should be contested he would find it a difficult one to prove. The -missing link in his chain of evidence would be the major premise in -the syllogism necessary to the establishment of his political status—a -definition of “Democrat” or “Republican.” Most of the statesmen in -public and private life who are poll-parroting these words, do so with -entire unconsciousness of their meaning, or rather without knowledge -that they have lost whatever meaning they once had. The words are mere -“survivals,” marking dead issues and covering present allegiances of -the loosest character. On any question of importance each party is -divided against itself and dares not formulate a preference. There is -no question before the country upon which one may not think and vote as -he likes without seriously affecting his standing in the denomination -of political saints of which he professes himself a member. “Party -lines” are as terribly confused as parallels of latitude and longitude -after a twisting earthquake, or those aimless lines representing -competing railroads on a map published by a company operating “the -only direct route.” It is not probable that this state of things can -last; if there is to be “government by party”—and we should be sad to -think that so inestimable a boon were soon to return to Him who gave -it—men must begin to let their angry passions rise and take sides. “Ill -fares the land to hastening ills a prey,” where the people are too wise -to dispute and too good to fight. Let us have the good old political -currency of bloody noses and cracked crowns; let the yawp of the -demagogue be heard in the land; let ears be pestered with the spargent -cheers of the masses. Give us a whoop-up that shall rouse us like a -rattling peal of thunder! Will nobody be our Moses—there should be two -Moseses—to lead us through this detestable wilderness of political -stagnation? - - - II - -Nowhere is so much insufferable stuff talked in a given period of -time as in an American political convention. It is there that all -those objectionable elements of the national character which evoke -the laughter of Europe and are the despair of our friends find freest -expression, unhampered by fear of any censorship more exacting than -that of “the opposing party”—which takes no account of intellectual -delinquencies, but only of moral. The “organs” of the “opposing -party” will not take the trouble to point out—even to observe—that -the “debasing sentiments” and “criminal views” uttered in speech and -platform are expressed in sickening syntax and offensive rhetoric. -Doubtless an American politician, statesman, what you will, could -go into a political convention and signify his views with simple, -unpretentious common sense, but doubtless he never does. - -Every community is cursed with a number of “orators”—men regarded as -“eloquent”—“silver tongued” men—fellows who to the common American -knack at brandishing the tongue add an exceptional felicity of -platitude, a captivating mastery of dog’s-eared sentiment, a copious -and obedient vocabulary of eulogium, an iron insensibility to the -ridiculous and an infinite affinity to fools. These afflicting -Chrysostoms are always lying in wait for an “occasion.” It matters -not what it is: a “reception” to some great man from abroad, a popular -ceremony like the laying of a corner-stone, the opening of a fair, the -dedication of a public building, an anniversary banquet of an ancient -and honorable order (they all belong to ancient and honorable orders) -or a club dinner—they all belong to clubs and owe dues. But it is in a -political convention that they come out particularly strong. By some -imperious tradition having the force of unwritten law it is decreed -that in these absurd bodies of our fellow citizens no word of sense -shall be uttered from the platform; whatever is uttered in set speeches -shall be addressed to the meanest capacity present. As a chain can be -no stronger than its weakest link, so nothing said by the speakers at a -political convention must be above the intellectual reach of the most -pernicious idiot having a seat and a vote. I don’t know why it is so. -It seems to be thought that if he is not suitably entertained he will -not attend the next convention. - -Here are the opening sentences of the speech in which a man was -recently nominated for governor: - -“Two years ago the Republican party in state and nation marched to -imperial triumph. On every hilltop and mountain peak our beacons -blazed and we awakened the echoes of every valley with songs of our -rejoicings.” - -And so forth. Now, if I were asked to recast these sentences so that -they should conform to the simple truth and be inoffensive to good -taste I should say something like this: - -“Two years ago the Republican party won a general election.” - -If there is any thing in this inflated rigmarole that is not adequately -expressed in my amended statement, what is it? As to eloquence, it will -hardly be argued that nonsense, falsehood and metaphors which were old -when Rome was young are essential to that. The first man (in early -Greece) who spoke of awakening an echo did a felicitous thing. Was it -felicitous in the second? Is it felicitous now? As to that military -metaphor—the “marching” and so forth—its inventor was as great a fool -as any one of the incalculable multitude of his plagiarists. - -In withdrawing his own name from before a convention, a Californian -politician once made a purely military speech of which a single sample -passage is all that I shall allow myself the happiness to quote: - -“I come before you to-day as a Republican of the Republican banner -county of this great state of ours. From snowy Shasta on the north -to sunny San Diego on the south; from the west, where the waves of -the Pacific look upon our shores, to where the barriers of the great -Sierras stand clad in eternal snow, there is no more loyal county to -the Republican party in this state than the county from which I hail. -Its loyalty to the party has been tested on many fields of battle and -it has never wavered in the contest. Wherever the fate of battle was -trembling in the balance Alameda county stepped into the breach and -rescued the Republican party from defeat.” - -Translated into English, this military mouthing would read somewhat -like this: - -“I live in Alameda county, where the Republicans have uniformly -outvoted the Democrats.” - -The orators at the Democratic convention a week earlier had been no -better and no different. Their rhetorical stock-in-trade was the same -old shop-worn figures of speech in which their predecessors have -dealt for ages, and in which their successors will traffic to the -end of—well, to the end of that imitative quality in the national -character, which, by its superior intensity, serves to distinguish us -from the apes that perish. - - - III - -“What we most need, to secure honest elections,” says a well-meaning -reformer, “is the voting machine.” Why, truly, here is a hopeful -spirit—a rare and radiant intelligence suffused with the conviction -that men can be made honest by machinery—that human character is a -matter of gearing, ratchets and dials! One would give something to -know how it feels to be like that. A mind so constituted must be happy -in its hope. It lives in rapturous contemplation of a world of its -own creation—a world where public morality and political good order -are to be had by purchase at the machine-shop. In that delectable -world, religion is superfluous; the true high priest is the mechanical -engineer; the minor clergy are the village blacksmiths. It is rather a -pity that so fine and fair a sphere should swim only in the attenuated -ether of a simpleton’s misunderstanding. - -The voting-machines are doubtless well enough; they save labor and -enable the statesmen of the street to know the result within a few -minutes of the closing of the polls—whereby many are spared to their -country who would otherwise incur fatal disorders by exposure to the -night air while assisting in awaiting the returns. But a voting-machine -that human ingenuity can not pervert, human ingenuity can not invent. -Honesty has no monopoly of inspiration. - -That is true, too, of laws. Your statesman of a mental stature -somewhat overtopping that of the machine-person puts his faith in law. -Providence has deigned to permit him to be persuaded of the efficacy of -statutes—good, stringent, carefully drawn statutes annulling all the -laws of nature in conflict with any of their provisions. So the poor -devil (I am writing of Mr. Legion) turns for relief from law to law, -ever on the rocks of repentance, yet ever unfouling the anchor of hope. -By no power on earth can his indurated understanding be penetrated by -the truth that his woful state is due, not to any laws of his own, nor -to any lack of them, but to his rascally refusal to obey the Golden -Rule. How long is it since we were all clamoring for the Australian -ballot law, which was to make a new Heaven and a new earth? We have the -Australian ballot law and the same old earth smelling to the same old -Heaven. Writhe upon the triangle as we may, groan out what new laws -we will, the pitiless thong will fall upon our bleeding backs as long -as we deserve it. If our sins, which are scarlet, are to be washed as -white as wool it must be in the tears of a genuine contrition: our -crocodile deliverances will profit us nothing. We must stop chasing -dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature -and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization. -We must subdue our detestable habit of shaking hands with prosperous -rascals and fawning upon the merely rich. It is not permitted to our -employers to plead in justification of low wages the law of supply -and demand when it is giving them high profits. It is not permitted -to discontented employees to break the bones of contented ones and -destroy the foundations of social order. It is dishonest to look upon -public office with the lust of possession; it is disgraceful to solicit -political preferment, to strive and compete for “honors” that are -sullied and tarnished by the touch of the reaching hand. Until we amend -our personal characters we shall amend our laws in vain. Though Paul -plant and Apollos water, the field of reform will grow nothing but the -figless thistle and the grapeless thorn. - -The state is an aggregation of individuals. Its public character is the -expression of their personal ones. By no political prestidigitation can -it be made better and wiser than the sum of their goodness and wisdom. -To expect that men who do not honorably and intelligently conduct their -private affairs will honorably and intelligently conduct the affairs -of the community is to be a fool. We are told that out of nothing God -made the heavens and the earth; but out of nothing God never did, and -man never can, make a public sense of honor and a public conscience. -Miracles are now performed on only one day of the year—the twenty-ninth -of February; and in leap years God is forbidden to perform them. - - - IV - -Ye who hold that the power of eloquence is a thing of the past and -the orator an anachronism; who believe that the trend of political -events and the results of parliamentary action are determined by -committees in cold consultation and the machinations of programmers -in holes and corners, consider the ascension of Bryan and be wise. A -week before the convention of 1896 William J. Bryan had never heard -of himself; upon his natural obscurity was superposed the opacity of -a congressional service that effaced him from the memory of even his -faithful dog, and made him immune to dunning. A week afterward he -was pinnacled upon the summit of the tallest political distinction, -gasping in the thin atmosphere of his unfamiliar environment and fitly -astonished by the mischance. To the dizzy elevation of his candidacy -he was hoisted out of the shadow by his own tongue, the longest and -liveliest in Christendom. Had he held it—which he could not have done -with a blacksmith’s tongs—there had been no Bryan. His creation was the -unstudied act of his own larynx; it said, “Let there be Bryan,” and -there was Bryan. Even in these degenerate days there is a hope for the -orators when one can make himself a presidential peril by merely waving -the red flag in the cave of the winds and tormenting the circumjacence -with a brandish of abundant hands. - -To be quite honest, I do not entirely believe that Orator Bryan’s -tongue had everything to do with it. I have long been convinced that -personal persuasion is a matter of animal magnetism—what in its more -obvious manifestation we now call hypnotism. At the back of the words -and the postures, and independent of them, is that secret, mysterious -power, addressing, not the ear, not the eye, nor, through them, the -understanding, but, through its kindred quality in the auditor, -captivating the will and enslaving it. That is how persuasion is -effected; the spoken words merely supply a pretext for surrender. They -enable us to yield without loss of our self-esteem, in the delusion -that we are conceding to reason what is really extorted by control. -The words are necessary, too, to point out what the orator wishes us -to think, if we are not already apprised of it. When the nature of -his power is better understood and frankly recognized, he can spare -himself the toil of talking. The parliamentary debate of the future -will probably be conducted in silence, and with only such gestures as -go by the name of “passes.” The chairman will state the question before -the house and the side, affirmative or negative, to be taken by the -honorable member entitled to the floor. That gentleman will rise, train -his compelling orbs upon the miscreants in opposition, execute a few -passes and exhaust his alloted time in looking at them. He will then -yield to an honorable member of dissenting views. The preponderance in -magnetic power and hypnotic skill will be manifest in the voting. - -The advantages of the method are as plain as the nose on an elephant’s -face. The “arena” will no longer “ring” with anybody’s “rousing -speech,” to the irritating abridgment of the unalienable right to the -pursuit of sleep. Honorable members will lack provocation to hurl -allegations and cuspidors. Pitchforking statesmen and tosspot reformers -will be unable to play at pitch-and-toss with reputations not submitted -for the performance. In short, the congenial asperities of debate -will be so mitigated that the honorable member from Hades will retire -permanently from the hauls of legislation. - - - V - -“Public opinion,” says Buckle, “being the voice of the average man, is -the voice of mediocrity.” Is it therefore so very wise and infallible -a guide as to be accepted without other credentials than its name and -fame? Ought we to follow its light and leading with no better assurance -of the character of its authority than a count of noses of those -following it already, and with no inquiry as to whether it has not on -many former occasions led them and their several sets of predecessors -into bogs of error and over precipices to “eternal mock?” Surely “the -average man,” as every one knows him, is not very wise, not very -learned, not very good; how is it that his views of so intricate and -difficult matters as those on which public opinion makes pronouncement -through him are entitled to so great respect? It seems to me that the -average man is very much a fool, and something of a rogue as well. -He has only a smattering of education, knows virtually nothing of -political history, nor history of any kind, is incapable of logical, -that is to say clear, thinking, is subject to the suasion of base and -silly prejudices, and selfish beyond expression. That such a person’s -opinions should be so obviously better than my own that I should accept -them instead, and assist in enacting them into laws, appears to me most -improbable. I may “bow to the will of the people” as gracefully as a -defeated candidate, and for the same reason, namely, that I can not -help myself; but to admit that I was wrong in my belief and flatter -the power that subdues me—no, that I will not do. If nobody would do -so the average man would not be so cock-sure of his infallibility, and -might sometimes consent to be counseled by his betters. - -In any matter of which the public has imperfect knowledge, public -opinion is as likely to be erroneous as is the opinion of an individual -equally uninformed. To hold otherwise is to hold that wisdom can be got -by combining many ignorances. A man who knows nothing of algebra can -not be assisted in the solution of an algebraic problem by calling in -a neighbor who knows no more than himself, and the solution approved -by the unanimous vote of a million such men would count for nothing -against that of a competent mathematician. To be entirely consistent, -gentlemen enamored of public opinion should insist that the text books -of our common schools should be the creation of a mass meeting, and all -disagreements arising in the course of the work settled by a majority -vote. That is how all difficulties incident to the popular translation -of the Hebrew Scriptures were composed. It should be admitted, however, -that most of those voting knew a little Hebrew, though not much. A -problem in mathematics is a very simple thing compared with many of -those upon which the people are called to pronounce by resolution and -ballot—for example, a question of finance. - -“The voice of the people is the voice of God”—the saying is so -respectably old that it comes to us in the Latin. He is a strange, -an unearthly, politician who has not a score of times publicly and -solemnly signified his faith in it. But does anyone really believe -it? Let us see. In the period between 1859 and 1885, the national -Democratic party was defeated six times in succession. The voice of -the people pronounced it in error and unfit to govern. Yet after each -overthrow it came back into the field gravely reaffirming its faith in -the principles that God had condemned. Then God twice reversed Himself, -and the Republicans set about beating Him with as firm a confidence -of success (justified by the event) as they had known in the years of -their prosperity. Doubtless in every instance of a political party’s -defeat there are defections, but doubtless not all are due to the voice -that spoke out of the great white light that fell about Saul of Tarsus. -By the way, it is worth observing that that clever gentleman was -under no illusion regarding the origin of the voice that wrought his -celebrated “flop;” he did not confound it with the _vox populi_. The -people of his time and place had no objection to the persecution that -he was conducting, and could persecute a trifle themselves on occasion. - -Majorities rule, when they do rule, not because they ought, but because -they can. We vote in order to learn without fighting which party is -the stronger; it is less disagreeable to learn it that way than the -other way. Sometimes the party that is numerically the weaker is by -possession of the government actually the stronger, and could maintain -itself in power by an appeal to arms, but the habit of submitting when -outvoted is hard to break. Moreover, we all recognize in a subconscious -way, the reasonableness of the habit as a practical method of getting -on; and there is always the confident hope of success in the next -canvass. That one’s cause will succeed because it ought to succeed -is perhaps the most general and invincible folly affecting the human -judgment. Observation can not shake it, nor experience destroy. Though -you bray a partisan in the mortar of adversity till he numbers the -strokes of the pestle by the hairs of his head, yet will not this -foolish notion depart from him. He is always going to win the next -time, however frequently and disastrously he has lost before. And -he can always give you the most cogent reasons for the faith that -is in him. His chief reliance is on the “fatal mistakes” made by -the other party since the last election. There never was a year in -which the party in power and the party out of power did not make bad -mistakes—mistakes which, unlike eggs and fish, seem always worst when -freshest. If idiotic errors of policy were always fatal, no party would -ever win an election and there would be a hope of better government -under the benign sway of the domestic cow. - - - VI - -Each political party accuses the “opposing candidate” of refusing to -answer certain questions which somebody has chosen to ask him. I think -myself it is discreditable for a candidate to answer any questions at -all, to make speeches, declare his policy, or do anything whatever to -get himself elected. If a political party choose to nominate a man -so obscure that his character and his views on all public questions -are not known or inferable he ought to have the dignity to refuse to -expound them. As to the strife for office being a pursuit worthy of -a noble ambition, I do not think so; nor shall I believe that many do -think so, until the term “office seeker” carries a less opprobrious -meaning and the dictum that “the office should seek the man, not the -man the office,” has a narrower currency among all manner of persons. -That by acts and words generally felt to be discreditable a man may -evoke great popular enthusiasm is not at all surprising. The late -Mr. Barnum was not the first nor the last to observe that the people -love to be humbugged. They love an impostor and a scamp, and the best -service that you can do for a candidate for high political preferment -is to prove him a little better than a thief, but not quite so good as -a thug. - - - VII - -The view is often taken that a representative is the same thing -as a delegate; that he is to have, and can honestly entertain, no -opinion that is at variance with the whims and the caprices of his -constituents. This is the very _reductio ad absurdum_ of representative -government. That it is the dominant theory of the future there can be -little doubt, for it is of a piece with the progress downward which is -the invariable and unbroken tendency of republican institutions. It -fits in well with manhood suffrage, rotation in office, unrestricted -patronage, assessment of subordinates, an elective judiciary, the -initiative, the referendum, the recall, and the rest of it. This -theory of representative institutions is the last and lowest stage in -our pleasant performance of “shooting Niagara.” When it shall have -universal recognition and assent we shall have been fairly engulfed in -the whirlpool, and the buzzard of anarchy may hopefully whet his beak -for the national carcass. - -A man holding office from and for the people is in conscience and -honor bound to do what seems to his judgment best for the general -welfare, respectfully regardless of any and all other considerations. -This is especially true of legislators, to whom such specific -“instructions” as constituents sometimes send are an impertinence and -an insult. Pushed to its logical conclusion, the “delegate” policy -would remove all necessity of electing men of brains and judgment; -one man properly connected with his constituents by telegraph would -make as good a legislator as another. Indeed, as a matter of economy, -one representative could act for many constituencies, receiving his -instructions how to vote from mass meetings in each. This, besides -being logical, would have the added advantage of widening and hardening -the power of the local “bosses,” who, by properly managing the show -of hands could have the same beneficent influence in national affairs -that they now enjoy in municipal. The plan would be a pretty good one -if there were not so many other ways for the nation to go to the devil -that it appears needless. - - - VIII - -The purpose of the legislative custom of “eulogizing” dead members of -congress is not apparent unless it is to add a terror to death and make -honorable and self-respecting members rather bear the ills they have -than escape through the gates of death to others that they profess to -know a good deal about. If a member of that kind, who has had the bad -luck to “go before,” could be consulted he would indubitably say that -he is sorry to be dead; and that is not a natural frame of mind in one -who is exempt from the necessity of himself “delivering a eulogy.” - -It may be urged that the congressional “eulogy” expresses in a general -way the eulogist’s notion of what he would like to have somebody say -of himself when he is by death elected to the Lower House. If so, then -Heaven help him to a better taste; but meanwhile it is a patriotic -duty to prevent him from indulging at the public expense the taste -that he has. There have been a few men in congress who could speak -of the character and services of a departed member with truth and -even eloquence. Of many others, the most charitable thing that one -can conscientiously say is that one would a little rather hear a -“eulogy” by them than of them. Considering that there are many kinds -of brains and only one kind of no brains, their diversity of gifts is -remarkable, but one characteristic they have in common: they are all -poets. Their efforts in the way of eulogium illustrate and illuminate -Pascal’s obscure saying that poetry is a particular sadness. If not sad -themselves, they are at least the cause of sadness in others, for no -sooner do they take to their legs to remind us that life is fleeting, -and to make us glad that it is, than they burst into bloom as poets -all! Some one has said that in the contemplation of death there is -something that belittles. Perhaps that explains the transformation. -Anyhow the congressional eulogist takes to verse as naturally as a moth -to a candle, and with about the same result to his reputation for sense. - -The poetry is commonly not his own; when it violates every law of -sense, fitness, metre, rhyme and taste it is. But nine times in ten it -is some dog’s-eared, shop-worn quotation from one of the “standard” -bards, usually Shakspeare. There are familiar passages from that poet -which have been so often heard in “the halls of legislation” that they -have acquired an infamy which unfits them for publication in a decent -family newspaper; and Shakspeare himself, reposing in Elysium on his -bed of asphodel, omits them when reading his complete works to the -shades of Kit Marlowe and Ben Jonson, for their sins. - -This whole “business” ought to be “cut out.” It is not only a waste -of time and a trial to the patience of the country; it is immoral. It -is not true that a member of congress, who while living was a most -ordinary mortal, becomes by the accident of death a hero, a saint, -“an example to American youth.” Nobody believes these “eulogies,” -and nobody should be permitted to utter them in the time and place -designated for another purpose. A “tribute” that is exacted by custom -and has not the fire and light of spontaneity is without sincerity -or sense. A simple resolution of regret and respect is all that the -occasion requires and would not inhibit any further utterance that -friends and admirers of the deceased might be moved to make elsewhere. -If any bereaved gentlemen, feeling his heart getting into his head, -wishes to tickle his ear with his tongue by way of standardizing his -emotion let him rent a hall and do so. But he should not be permitted -to make the capitol a Place of Wailing and the _Congressional Record_ a -book of bathos. - - - - - A POSSIBLE BENEFACTOR - - -From Paris comes the terrible news that M. Verneuil, a chemist, has -succeeded in making rubies at no considerable cost. This will doubtless -prove a sharp affliction to many persons addicted to display of rubies -on their surfaces, as well as to some who have them under lock and key -for sale to the others; for of course the value of the natural stones -must eventually fall to that of the artificial, if the two kinds are -identical in composition, hardness and color. Rubies will perhaps go -out of use altogether, for gems accessible to the poor are worthless to -the rich, and gems worthless to the rich are not wanted by the poor. -The beauty of the ruby will remain, but so will human nature. - -Having few rubies and, I trust, not much human nature, I am disposed -to regard M. Verneuil’s crime as a public benefaction. If he will -pursue his experimentation to its “logical conclusion,” giving us cheap -diamonds, pearls, emeralds, turquoises and the rest, many of us will -rise up (from our seats away back) and call him blest. - -Victims of the habit of wearing pretty pebbles have always accounted -for their affliction by affirming the beauty of the pebbles. If that -is why they wear them they will continue to wear them when they are -common and cheap—when M. Verneuil and his anarchist co-workers in -the laboratory have put them “within the reach of all.” Does any one -believe that they will? Why do they not now wear (and confess it) the -paste jewels that are every bit as beautiful as the genuine? Why would -the “society woman” consider herself dishonored if caught red-handed in -a necklace of wax beads distinguishable from pearls by the microscope -only? - -The “preciousness” of these things is their cost. A woman “ablaze with -diamonds” is a woman silently shouting: “I am rich!” If her jewels did -not say this, and say it plainly, she would throw them into the nearest -gutter—nay, her contempt of them might receive such avowal as giving -them to the poor. - -Lo, the poor Indian whose untutored taste persuades him to personal -adornment with porcupine quills, eagle feathers, bear-claws and the -tail of a wildcat! They are lovely—no doubt of that—but if porcupines, -eagles, bears and wildcats were abundant, accessible and amiable he -would make himself a thing of glory and consequence with something less -easily acquired. Please to consider the peculiar significance lurking -in the good old word “bravery” applied to the fine attire and ornaments -of the lowly. Does it not distinctly point to a primitive state when -personal adornment was the prize of courage in the chase? “Bravery” is -the finery of persons not far removed from a state of nature; our own -finery we do not call so, not even in poetry. A fairly good name for it -is “pursery.” - -In the progress of the race away from primitive conditions and barbaric -modes of thought and feeling, the female contingent does not walk at -the head of the procession. Women are more “conservative” than men: -they are last to renounce the habits and customs of the ancestral -savage. Witness their addiction to powder and paint. We have all -inherited the tendency to daub our faces, a once useful custom, for -by differing designs tribes and families were distinguished from one -another at a glance. Attentive to other matters, mostly nonsense and -mischief, men have suffered the practice to fall into disuse, but -women—whom God bless!—continue it as when frighthood was in flower, -accounting for it by hardily affirming its service to the complexion. -Let it go at that; that is a better reason than can be urged for -defacing the female periphery with pebbles, candidly inutile and in -open apostasy to the gospel of Beauty Unadorned. Wherefore, that we may -have surcease of the pretty-pebble habit in the otherwise supportable -female of our species as she has been handed down to us from her noisy -sessions in primeval tree-tops, let us pray for success of M. Verneuil -and his accomplices in their hardy effort to discredit and vulgarize -the product of gem farm and pearl pool. - -1902. - - - - - WARLIKE AMERICA - - - I - -In a speech at Huntsville, Alabama, President McKinley said: - -“We are not a military people. We are not dedicated to arms. We love -peace, and the United States never goes to war except for peace, and -only where it can have it in no other way. We have never gone to war -for conquest, for exploitation or for territory, but always for liberty -and humanity, and in our recent war with Spain the people of the whole -United States as one man marched with the flag for the honor of the -nation, to relieve the oppressed people in Cuba.” - -The American people are a singularly “cantankerous” people. True we are -not “military,” but that was not what the president meant to affirm; -he meant that we are not “warlike,” which is a very different thing. -The Germans are military, the North American Indians are warlike. To be -warlike is to be fond of war; to be military is to cultivate the arts -and sciences of war, to make the arts of peace subservient to them, to -maintain a powerful standing army, with armaments of high efficiency. -A people may be both warlike and military, or it may be either and not -the other. The distinction was evidently not in the president’s mind, -for he said that we love peace, that we go to war only to assure it, -and so forth. What are the facts? - -There have been four generations of politically independent Americans. -Each of the four fought a war of magnitude, not counting the small -affairs and the “continuous performance” against the Indians. There -were the war of 1812 against Great Britain, the war against Mexico, the -war among ourselves, the war against Spain. We may say that all these -were fought to assure peace, and that is true—peace on our terms. No -war is undertaken for any other purpose. It was for that that Alexander -invaded Asia and Hannibal Italy. It was for that that the Turks laid -siege to Vienna. It was for that that Napoleon overran Europe. - - - II - -It seems that “we have never gone to war for conquest, for -exploitation, nor for territory;” we have the word of a president for -that. Observe, now, how Providence overrules the intentions of the -truly good for their advantage. We went to war with Mexico for peace, -humanity and honor, yet emerged from the contest with an extension -of territory beyond the dreams of political avarice. We went to war -with Spain for relief of an oppressed people, and at the close found -ourselves in possession of vast and rich insular dependencies and with -a pretty tight grasp upon the country for relief of whose oppressed -people we took up arms. We could hardly have profited more had -“territorial aggrandizement” been the spirit of our purpose and the -heart of our hope. - -The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics -are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations. They insist upon -having their own way, and in dealing with vanquished enemies are -without conscience. If it were not for the restraints that powerful -European sovereigns are able to put upon their subjects, Europe would -be a theater of continuous war. We lack that element of restraint. -Happily we lack, also, many of the hereditary animosities that inflame -the jealous peoples of the Old World; but when the fire is kindled it -burns; there is nobody to quench it. We have always a hand upon the -sword, and if we do not more frequently strike, it is because, in the -first place, it is not much of a sword, and, in the second, the enemy -is commonly out of reach. In our navy we have now a sword that is a -trifle longer and stronger, but our army is still a dull and clumsy -weapon. - -In the future, as in the past, we shall have wars and enough of -them—wars of honor, wars of conquest, wars of hatred and revenge. War -has never found us ready. War has never found any modern nation ready, -excepting Prussia, and her only once. If we will learn nothing by -experience, let us try observation. Let us cease our hypocritical cant, -rise from our dreams of peace and of the love of it, confess ourselves -the warlike people that we are, and become the military people that we -are not. - - - III - -The notion that a standing army of whatever strength could be a “menace -to American liberty” is one of the crudest and most discreditable -of errors. It is an outgrowth of ignorance, and rooted in a false -analogy. It assumes that the “common people” of the Old World -monarchies are oppressed, discontented, ripe for revolt and republican -government; that they are held in subjection by the powerful armies -that serve their tyrants. Of course all this is mere moonshine, but if -true it would hold no such lesson for us as we think we read in it, -namely, that all armies are serviceable tools to tyrants and usurpers. -A European army, recruited by conscription and officered by noblemen -and the sons of relatives of noblemen, is an entirely different thing -from what we have, and very different indeed from what we may have if -we choose. The monarchical army sustains the monarchy, not because an -army is naturally and necessarily monarchist, but because monarchy is -the constitutional government; and armies, more generally than other -human organizations, are faithful to duty and obedient to law. For -the same reasons an American army will sustain the republic. Whenever -a monarchical army has _not_ sustained the monarchy—has assisted to -overthrow it and set up a republic—then, indeed, have we been given a -reason to distrust “the military”—of a monarchy. - -An army of raw volunteers springing to the colors to meet some -unforeseen emergency is an inspiring spectacle, but that kind of army -is good for nothing when pitted against trained and seasoned troops. -Every military man knows this, although there are no large recent -instances free from obscuring elements, like “the war of 1812.” - -In European countries that have universal conscription the years that -the young men pass in the army are the best spent years of their lives. -Those who enter the service as ignorant peasant lads, brutally stupid, -leave it well set up in body and mind—with better health, better morals -and better intelligence. The American peasant is of course perfect -in respect of all that, but perhaps his refining society would be of -advantage to his officers. - - - - - SOME FEATURES OF THE LAW - - - I - -There is a difference between religion and the amazing circumstructure -which, under the name of theology, the priesthoods have builded round -about it, which for centuries they made the world believe was the true -temple, and which, after incalculable mischiefs wrought, immeasurable -blood spilled in its extension and consolidation, is only now beginning -to crumble at the touch of reason. There is the same difference between -the laws and the law,—the naked statutes (bad enough, God knows) and -the incomputable additions made to them by lawyers. This immense body -of superingenious writings it is that we all are responsible to in -person and property. In it is unquestionable authority for setting -aside any statute that any legislative body ever passed or can pass. In -it are dictates of recognized validity for turning topsy-turvy every -principle of justice and reversing every decree of reason. There is -no fallacy so monstrous, no deduction so hideously unrelated to common -sense, as not to receive, somewhere in the myriad pages of this awful -compilation, a support that any judge in the land would be proud to -recognize with a decision if ably persuaded. I do not say that the -lawyers are altogether accountable for the existence of this mass of -disastrous rubbish, nor for its domination of the laws. They only -create and thrust it down our throats; we are guilty of contributory -negligence in not biting the spoon. - - - II - -As long as there exists the right of appeal there is a chance of -acquittal. Otherwise the right of appeal would be a sham and an insult -more intolerable, even, than, to the man convicted of murder, the right -to say why he should not receive the sentence which nothing he may say -will avert. So long as acquittal may ensue guilt is not established. -Why, then, are men sentenced before they are proved guilty? Why are -they punished in the middle of proceedings against them? A lawyer can -reply to these questions in a thousand ingenious ways; but there is -no answer. Let the “legal fraternity” reflect that a lawyer is one -whose profession it is to circumvent the law; that it is a part of his -business to mislead and befog the court of which he is an officer; that -it is considered right and reasonable for him to live by a division of -the spoils of crime and misdemeanor; that the utmost atonement he ever -makes for acquitting a man whom he knows to be guilty is to convict -a man whom he knows to be innocent. The methods of our courts, the -traditions of bench and bar, exist and are perpetuated, altered and -improved, for the purpose of enabling lawyers as a class to exact the -greatest amount of money from the rest of mankind. The laws are mostly -made by lawyers, and so made as to encourage and compel litigation. -By lawyers they are interpreted and by lawyers enforced for their own -profit and advantage. The over-intricate and interminable machinery -of precedent, overrulings, writs of error, motions for new trials, -appeals, reversals, affirmations and the rest of it, is mostly a -transparent and iniquitous system of exaction. What remedy would I -propose? None. There is none to propose. The lawyers have us and mean -to keep us. - -The villainy of making men suffer for crimes of which they may -eventually be acquitted is consistent with our entire system of laws—a -system so complicated and contradictory that a judge simply does as he -pleases, subject only to the custom of giving for his action reasons -which at his option may or may not be derived from the statutes. He may -sternly affirm that he sits there to interpret the law as he finds it, -not to make it accord with his personal notions of right and justice. -Or he may declare that it could never have been the legislature’s -intention to do wrong, and so, shielded by the useful phrase _contra -bonos mores_, pronounce that illegal which he chooses to consider -inexpedient. Or he may be guided by either of any two inconsistent -precedents, as the better suits his purpose. Or he may throw aside both -statute and precedent, disregard good morals, and justify the judgment -that he wishes to deliver by what other lawyers have written in books, -and still others, without anybody’s authority, have chosen to accept -as a part of the law. I have in mind judges whom I have observed to -do all these things in a single term of court, and could mention one -who has done most of them in a single decision. The amazing feature -of the matter is that all these methods are lawful—made so, not by -legislative enactment, but by the judges. Language can not be used with -sufficient lucidity and positiveness to bind them. - - - III - -The legal purpose of a preliminary examination is not the discovery of -a criminal; it is the ascertaining of the probable guilt or innocence -of the person already charged. To permit that person’s counsel to -insult and madden the various assisting witnesses in the hope of making -them seem to incriminate themselves instead of him by statements that -may afterward be used to confuse a jury—that is perversion of law -to defeat justice. The character of the practice is seen to better -advantage contrasted with the tender consideration enjoyed by the -person actually accused and presumably guilty—the presumption of -his innocence being as futile a fiction as that a sheep’s tail is a -leg when called so. Actually, the prisoner in a criminal trial is -the only person supposed to have full knowledge of the facts who is -not compelled to testify. And this exemption is given him by way of -immunity from the snares and pitfalls with which the paths of all -witnesses are wantonly beset. To a visiting Lunarian it would seem -strange indeed that in a Terrestrial court of justice it is not deemed -desirable for an accused person to incriminate himself, and that it is -deemed desirable for a subpœna to be more dreaded than a warrant. - -When a child, a wife, a servant, a student—any one under personal -authority—is accused or suspected an explanation is demanded, and -refusal to testify is held, and rightly held, a confession of guilt. -To question the accused—rigorously and sharply to examine him on all -matters relating to the offense, and even trap him if he seem to be -lying—that is Nature’s method of criminal procedure; why in our public -trials do we forego its advantages? It may annoy; a person arrested for -crime must expect annoyance. It can not make an innocent man, even a -mere witness, incriminate himself, but it can make a rogue do so, and -therein lies its value. - -This ancient and efficient safeguard to rascality, the right of a -witness to refuse to testify when his testimony would tend to convict -him of crime, has been strengthened by a recent decision of the United -States Supreme Court. That will probably add another century or two to -its mischievous existence, and possibly prove the first act in such -an extension of it that eventually a witness can not be compelled to -testify at all. In fact it is difficult to see how he can be compelled -to now if he has the hardihood to exercise his constitutional right -without shame and with an intelligent consciousness of its limitless -application. - -The case in which the Supreme Court made the decision was one in which -a witness refused to say whether he had received from a defendant -railway company a rate on grain shipments lower than the rate open to -all shippers. The trial was in the United States District Court for the -Northern District of Illinois, and Judge Gresham chucked the scoundrel -into jail. He naturally applied to the Supreme Court for relief, and -that high tribunal gave joy to every known or secret malefactor in the -country by deciding—according to law, no doubt—that witnesses in a -criminal case can not be compelled to testify to anything that “_might -tend_ to criminate them _in any way_, or subject them to _possible_ -prosecution.” The italics are my own and indicate about as clearly -as extended comment could the boundless immunity that the decision -confirms or confers. It is to be hoped that some public-spirited -gentleman called to the stand in some celebrated case may point the -country’s attention to the state of the law by refusing to tell his -name, age or occupation, or answer any question whatever. And it would -be a fitting _finale_ to the farce if he would threaten the too curious -attorney with an action for damages for compelling a disclosure of -character. - - - IV - -Most lawyers have made so profound a study of human nature as to -think that if they have shown a man to be of loose life with regard -to women they have shown him to be one that would tell needless lies -to a jury—a conviction unsupported by the familiar facts of life and -character. Different men have different vices, and addiction to one -kind of “upsetting sin” does not imply addiction to an unrelated kind. -Doubtless a rake is a liar in so far as is needful to concealment, but -it does not follow that he will commit perjury to save a horsethief -from the penitentiary or send a good man to the gallows. As to lying, -generally, he is not conspicuously worse than the mere lover, male -or female; for lovers have been liars from the beginning of time. -They deceive when it is necessary and when it is not. Schopenhauer -would say that it is because of a sense of guilt—they contemplate the -commission of a crime and, like other criminals, cover their tracks. -I am not prepared to say if that is the true explanation, but to the -fact to be explained I am ready to testify with lifted arms. Yet no -cross-examining attorney tries to break the credibility of a witness by -showing that he is in love. - -An habitual liar, if disinterested, makes about as good a witness -as anybody. There is really no such thing as “the lust of lying:” -falsehoods are told for advantage—commonly a shadowy and illusory -advantage, but one distinctly enough had in mind. Discerning no -opportunity to promote his interest, tickle his vanity or feed a -grudge, the habitual liar will tell the truth. If lawyers would study -human nature with half the assiduity that they give to resolution of -hairs into their longitudinal elements they would be better fitted for -service of the devil than they have now the usefulness to be. - - - V - -I affirm the right and expediency of cross-examining attorneys in -court, with a view to testing their credibility. An attorney’s relation -to the trial is closer and more important than that of a witness. He -has more to say and more opportunities to deceive the jury, not only -by naked lying, but by both _suppressio veri_ and _suggestio falsi_. -Why is it not important to ascertain his credibility; and if an inquiry -into his private life and public reputation will assist, as himself -avers, why should he not be put upon the grill and compelled to sweat -out the desired incrimination? I should think it might give good -results, for example, to compel him to answer a few questions touching -his professional career. Somewhat like this: - -“Did you ever defend a client, knowing him to be guilty?” - -“What, precisely, was your motive in doing so?” - -“But in addition to your love of fair play had you not also the hope -and assurance of a fee?” - -“In defending a client known to you to be guilty did you declare your -belief in his innocence?” - -“Yes, I understand, but necessary as it may have been (in that it -helped to defeat justice and earn your fee) was not your declaration a -lie?” - -“Do you believe it right to lie for the purpose of circumventing -justice?—yes or no?” - -“Do you believe it right to lie for personal gain—yes or no?” - -“Then why did you do both?” - -“A man who lies to beat the laws and fill his purse is—what?” - -“In defending a murderer did you ever misrepresent the character, acts, -motives and intentions of the man that he murdered—never mind the -purpose and effect of such misrepresentation—yes or no?” - -“That is what we call slander of the dead, is it not?” - -“What is the most accurate name you can think of for one who slanders -the dead to defeat justice and promote his own fortune?” - -“Yes, I know—such practices are allowed by the ‘ethics’ of your -profession, but can you point to any evidence that they are allowed by -Jesus Christ?” - -“If in former trials you have obstructed justice by slander of the -dead, by falsely affirming the innocence of the guilty, by cheating -in argument, by deceiving the court whom you are sworn to serve and -assist, and have done all this for personal gain, do you expect, and -is it reasonable for you to expect, the jury in this case to believe -you?” - -“One moment more, please. Did you ever accept an annual or other -fee conditioned on your not taking any action against a certain -corporation?” - -“While in receipt of such refrainer—I beg your pardon, retainer—did you -ever prosecute a blackmailer?” - -It will be seen that in testing the credibility of a lawyer it is -needless to go into his private life and his character as a man and -a citizen: his professional practices are an ample field in which to -search for offenses against man and God. - -The moral sense of the laymen is dimly conscious of something wrong in -the ethics of the “noble profession;” the lawyers affirming, rightly -enough, a public necessity for them and their mercenary services, -permit their thrift to construe it vaguely as personal justification. -But nobody has blown away from the matter its brumous encompassment and -let in the light upon it. It is very simple. - -Is it honorable for a lawyer to try to clear a man that he knows -deserves conviction? That is not the entire question by much. Is -it honorable to pretend to believe what you do not believe? Is it -honorable to lie? I submit that these questions are not answered -affirmatively by showing the disadvantage to the public and to -civilization of a lawyer refusing to serve a known offender. The -popular interest, like any other good cause, can be and commonly is, -served by foul means when served at all. Justice itself may be promoted -by acts essentially unjust. In serving a sordid ambition a powerful -scoundrel may by acts in themselves wicked augment the prosperity of -a whole nation. I have not the right to deceive and lie in order to -advantage my fellow men, any more than I have the right to steal or -murder to advantage them; nor have my fellow men the power to grant me -that indulgence. - -The question of a lawyer’s right to clear a known criminal (with the -several questions involved) is not answered affirmatively by showing -that the law forbids him to decline a case for reasons personal -to himself—not even if we admit the statute’s moral authority. -Preservation of conscience and character is a civic duty, as well as -a personal; one’s fellowmen have a distinct interest in it. That, I -admit, is an argument rather in the manner of an attorney; clearly -enough the effect of this statute is to compel an attorney to cheat -and lie for any rascal that wants him to. In that sense it may be -regarded as a law softening the rigor of all laws; it does not mitigate -punishments, but mitigates the chance of incurring them. The infamy -of it lies in forbidding an attorney to be a gentleman. Like all laws -it falls something short of its intent: many attorneys, even some who -defend the law, are as honorable as is consistent with the practice of -deceit to serve crime. - -It will not do to say that an attorney in defending a client is not -compelled to cheat and lie. What kind of defense could be made by any -one who did not profess belief in the innocence of his client?—did -not affirm it in the most serious and impressive way?—did not lie? -How would it profit the defense to be conducted by one who would not -meet the prosecution’s grave asseverations of belief in the prisoner’s -guilt by equally grave assurances of faith in his innocence? And in -point of fact, when was counsel for the defense ever known to forego -the advantage of that solemn falsehood? If I am asked what would -become of accused persons if they had to prove their innocence to the -lawyers before making a defense in court, I reply that it is not for -the public interest that a rogue have the same freedom of defense as -an honest man; it should be a good deal harder for him. His troubles -should begin, not when he seeks acquittal, but when he seeks counsel. -It would be better for the community if he could not obtain the -services of a reputable attorney, or any attorney at all. A defense -that can not be made without his attorney’s knowledge of his guilt -should be impossible to him. - - - VI - -As to the general question of a judge’s right to inflict arbitrary -punishment for words that he may be pleased to hold disrespectful to -himself or another judge, I do not myself believe that any such right -exists; the practice seems to be merely a survival—a heritage from the -dark days of irresponsible power, when the scope of judicial authority -had no other bounds than fear of the king’s gout or indigestion. If in -these modern days the same right is to exist it may be necessary to -revive the old checks upon it by restoring the throne. In freeing us -from the monarchical chain, the coalition of European Powers commonly -known in American history as the valor of our forefathers stripped us -starker than they knew. - -Suppose an attorney should find his client’s interests imperiled by a -prejudiced or corrupt judge—what is he to do? Denied the right to make -representations to that effect, supporting them with evidence where -evidence is possible and by inference where it is not, what means of -protection shall he venture to adopt? If it be urged in objection that -judges are never prejudiced nor corrupt I confess that I shall have no -answer: the proposition will deprive me of breath. - -If contempt is not a crime it should not be punished; if a crime -it should be punished as other crimes are punished—by indictment -or information, trial by jury if a jury is demanded, with all the -safeguards that secure an accused person against judicial blunders -and judicial bias. The necessity for these safeguards is even greater -in cases of contempt than in others—particularly if the prosecuting -witness is to sit in judgment on his own grievance. That should, of -course, not be permitted: the trial should take place before another -judge. - -The public ear is served with rather more than just enough of nonsense -about “attacks upon the dignity of the Bench,” “bringing the judiciary -into disrepute” and the rueful rest of it. I crave leave to remind -the solicitudinarians sounding these loud alarums on their several -larynges that by persons of understanding a man is respected, not for -the office that he holds, but for what he is, and that one public -functionary will stand as high in their esteem as another if as high -in character. The dignity of a wise and righteous judge needs not the -artificial safeguarding which is a heritage of the old days when if -dissent found a tongue the public executioner cut it out. The Bench -will be sufficiently respected when it is no longer a place where -dullards dream and rogues rob—when its _personnel_ is no longer chosen -in the back-rooms of tipple-shops, forced upon yawning conventions and -confirmed by the votes of men who know neither what the candidates -are nor what they should be. With the gang that we have, and under -our system must continue to have, respect is out of the question. The -judges are entitled to just as much of its forms and observances as is -needful to maintenance of order in their courts and fortification of -their lawful power—no more. As to their silence under criticism, that -is as they please. Nobody but themselves is holding their tongues. - - - VII - -A law under which the unsuccessful respondent in a divorce proceeding -may be forbidden to marry again during the life of the successful -complainant, the latter being subject to no such disability, is -unrighteous. If the disability is intended as a punishment it is -exceptional among legal punishments in that it is inflicted without -conviction, trial or arraignment, the divorce proceedings being quite -another and different matter. It is exceptional in that the period -of its continuance, and therefore the degree of its severity, are -indeterminate; they are dependent on no limiting statute, and on -neither the will of the power inflicting nor the conduct of the person -suffering. To sentence a person to a punishment that is to be mild -or severe according to chance or—which is even worse—circumstances -which but one person, and that person not officially connected with -administration of justice, can partly control, is a perversion of the -main principles that are supposed to underlie the laws. - -It can be nothing to the woman—possibly herself remarried—whether the -man remarries or not; that is, can affect only her feelings, and only -such of them as are least creditable to her. Yet her self-interest is -enlisted against him to do him incessant disservice. By merely caring -for her health she increases the sharpness of his punishment—for -punishment it is if he feels it such; every hour that she wrests from -death is added to his “term.” The expediency of preventing a man from -marrying, without having the power to prevent him from making his -marriage desirable in the interest of the public and vital to that of -some woman, is not discussable here. If a man is ever justified in -poisoning a woman who was once his wife it is when, by way of making -him miserable, the state has given him a direct and distinct interest -in her death. - - - VIII - -With a view, possibly, to promoting respect for law by making the -statutes so to conform to public sentiment that none will fall into -dis-esteem and disuse, it has been proposed that there be recognition -of sex in the penal code, by making a difference in the punishment of -men and of women for the same crimes and misdemeanors. The argument -is that if women were “provided” with milder punishment juries would -sometimes convict them, whereas they now commonly get off altogether. - -The plan is not so new as might be thought. Many of the nations of -antiquity of whose laws we have knowledge, and nearly all the European -nations until within a comparatively recent time, punished women -differently from men for the same offenses. As recently as the period -of the Early Puritan in New England women were punished for some -offenses which men might commit without fear if not without reproach. -The ducking-stool, for example, was an appliance for softening the -female temper only. In England women used to be burned at the stake for -crimes for which men were hanged, roasting being popularly regarded -as the milder punishment. In point of fact, it was not punishment at -all, the victim being carefully strangled before the fire touched her. -Burning was simply a method of disposing of the body so expeditiously -as to give no occasion and opportunity for the unseemly social rites -commonly performed about the scaffold of the erring male by a jocular -populace. As lately as 1763 a woman named Margaret Biddingfield was -burned in Suffolk, England, as an accomplice in the crime of “petty -treason.” She had assisted in the murder of one of the king’s subjects -(her husband), the actual killing being done by a man; and he was -hanged, as no doubt he deserved to be. For “coining,” too (which, also, -was “treason”) men were hanged and women burned. This distinction -between the sexes was maintained until the year of grace 1790, after -which female offenders ceased to have “a stake in the country,” and -like Hood’s martial hero, “enlisted in the line.” - -In still earlier days, before the advantages of fire were understood, -our good grandmothers who sinned were admonished by water—they were -drowned; but in the reign of Henry III a woman was hanged—without -strangulation, apparently, for after a whole day of it she was cut -down and pardoned. Sorceresses and unfaithful wives were smothered in -mud, as also were unfaithful wives among the ancient Burgundians. The -punishment of unfaithful husbands is not of record; we only know that -there were no austerely virtuous editors to direct the finger of scorn -to their dark misdeeds and personal unworth. - -Among the Anglo-Saxons, women who had the bad luck to be detected in -theft were drowned, while men meeting with the same mischance died a -dry death by hanging. By the early Danish laws female thieves were -buried alive, whether or not from motives of humanity is not now known. -This seems to have been the fashion in France also, for in 1331 a woman -named Duplas was scourged and buried alive at Abbeville, and in 1460 -Perotte Mauger, a receiver of stolen goods, was inhumed by order of the -Provost of Paris in front of the public gibbet. In Germany in the good -old days certain kinds of female criminals were “impaled,” a punishment -too grotesquely horrible for description, but likely enough considered -by the simple German of the period conspicuously merciful. - -It is, in short, only recently that the civilized nations have placed -the sexes on an equality in the matter of the death penalty for -crime, and the new system is not yet by any means universal. That -it is a better system than the old, or would be if enforced, is a -natural presumption from human progress, out of which it is evolved. -But coincidently with its evolution has developed also a sentiment -adverse to punishment of women at all. This sentiment appears to be -of independent growth; in no way a reaction against that which caused -the change. To mitigate the severity of the death penalty for women to -some pleasant form of euthanasia, such as drowning in rose-water, or -in their case to abolish the death penalty altogether and make their -capital punishment consist in a brief internment in a jail with a -softened name, would probably do no good, for whatever form it might -take, it would be, so far as woman is concerned, the “extreme penalty” -and crowning disgrace, and jurors would be as reluctant to inflict it -as they now are to inflict death. - - - IX - -Testators should not, from the snug security of the grave, be -permitted to utter a perpetual threat of disinheritance, or any other -uncomfortable fate, to deter a living citizen, even one of their own -legatees, from applying to the courts of his country for redress of -any wrong from which he may consider himself as suffering. The courts -of law ought to be open to any one conceiving himself a victim of -injustice, and it should be unlawful to abridge the right of complaint -by making its exercise more hazardous than it naturally is. Doubtless -the contesting of wills is a nuisance, generally speaking, the -contestant devoid of moral worth and the verdict unrighteous; but as -long as some testators really _are_ daft, or subject to interested -suasion, or wantonly sinful, all should be denied the power to stifle -dissent by fining the luckless dissenter. The dead have too much to say -in this world, at the best, and it is tyranny for them to stand at the -door of the temple of justice to drive away the suitors that themselves -have made. - -Obedience to the commands of the dead should be conditional upon their -good behavior, and it is not good behavior to set up a censure of -action at law among the living. If our courts are not competent to -say what actions are proper to be brought and what are unfit to be -entertained let us improve them until they are competent, or abolish -them altogether and resort to the mild and humane arbitrament of the -dice; but while courts have the civility to exist they should refuse -to surrender any part of their duties and responsibilities to such -exceedingly private persons as those under six feet of earth, or -sealed up in habitations of hewn stone. Persons no longer affectable -by human events should be denied a voice in determining the character -and trend of them. Respect for the wishes of the dead is a tender -and beautiful sentiment, certainly. Unfortunately, it can not be -ascertained that they have any wishes. What commonly go by that name -are wishes once entertained by living persons who are now dead, and -who in dying renounced them, along with everything else. Like those -who entertained them, the wishes are no longer in existence. “The -wishes of the dead” are not wishes, and are not of the dead. Why they -should have anything more than a sentimental influence upon those still -in the flesh, and be a factor to be reckoned with in the practical -affairs of the supergraminous world, is a question to which the merely -human understanding can find no answer, and it must be referred to the -lawyers. When “from the tombs a doleful sound” is vented, and “thine -ear” is invited to “attend the cry,” an intelligent forethought will -suggest that you inquire if it is anything about property. If so pass -on—that is no sacred spot. - - - X - -Much of the testimony in French courts, civil and martial, appears to -consist of personal impressions and opinions of the witnesses. All -very improper and mischievous, no doubt, if—if what? Why, obviously, -if the judges and jurors are unfit to sit in judgment. By designating -them to sit, the designating power assumes their fitness—assumes that -they know enough to take such things for what they are worth, to make -the necessary allowances; if needful, to disregard a witness’s opinion -altogether. I do not know that they are fit. I do not know that they -do make the needful allowances. It is by no means clear to me that -any judge or juror, French, American or Patagonian, is competent to -ascertain the truth when lying witnesses are trying to conceal it under -the direction of skilled and conscienceless attorneys licensed to -deceive. But his competence is a basic assumption of the law vesting -him with the duty of deciding. Having chosen him for that duty, the -French law very logically lets him alone to decide for himself what -is evidence and what is not. It does not trust him a little, but -altogether. It puts him under conditions familiar to him—makes him -accessible to just such influences as he is accustomed to when making -conscious and unconscious decisions in his personal affairs. - -There may be a distinct gain to justice in permitting a witness to -say whatever he wants to say. If he is telling the truth he will not -contradict himself; if he is lying, the more rope he is given the more -surely he will entangle himself. - -In giving hearsay evidence, for example, he may suggest a new and -important witness of whom the counsel for the other side would not -otherwise have heard, and who can then be brought into court. By some -unguarded and apparently irrelevant statement he may open an entirely -new line of inquiry, or throw upon the case a flood of light. Everyone -knows what revelations are sometimes evoked by apparently the most -insignificant remarks. Why should justice be denied a chance to profit -that way? - -There is a still greater advantage in “the French method.” By giving a -witness free rein in expression of his personal opinions and feelings -we should be able to calculate his frame of mind, his good or ill will -to the prosecution or defense and, therefore, to a certain extent his -credibility. In our courts he is able by a little solemn perjury to -conceal all this, even from himself, and pose as an impartial witness, -when in truth, with regard to the accused he is full of rancor or -reeking with compassion. - -In theory our system is perfect. The accused is prosecuted by a public -officer, who having no interest in his conviction, will serve the -state without mischievous zeal and perform his disagreeable task with -fairness and consideration. He is permitted to entrust his defense -to another officer, whose duty it is to make a rigidly truthful and -candid presentment of his case in order to assist the court to a just -decision. The jurors, if there are jurors, are neither friendly nor -hostile, are open-minded, intelligent and conscientious. As to the -witnesses, are they not sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth (in -so far as they are permitted) and nothing but the truth? What could -be finer and better than all this?—what could more certainly assure -justice? - -How close the resemblance is between this ideal picture and what -actually occurs all know, or should know. The judge is frequently -an ignoramus incapable of logical thought and with little sense of -the dread and awful nature of his responsibility. The prosecuting -attorney thinks it due to his reputation to “make a record” and tries -to convict by hook or crook, even when he is himself persuaded of the -defendant’s innocence. Counsel for the defense is equally unscrupulous -for acquittal, and, both having industriously coached their witnesses, -they contend against each other in deceiving the court by every art -of which they are masters. Witnesses on both sides perjure themselves -freely and with almost perfect impunity if detected. At the close -of it all the poor weary jurors, hopelessly bewildered and dumbly -resentful of their duping, render a random or compromise verdict, or -one which best expresses their secret animosity to the lawyer they like -least, or their faith in the newspapers which they have diligently and -disobediently read every night. Commenting upon Rabelais’ old judge -who, when impeached for an outrageous decision, pleaded his defective -eyesight which made him miscount the spots on the dice, the most -distinguished lawyer of my acquaintance seriously assured me that if -all the cases with which he had been connected had been decided with -the dice substantial justice would have been done more frequently than -it was done. If that is true, or nearly true, and I believe it, the -American’s right to sneer at the Frenchman’s “judicial methods” is an -open question. - - - XI - -It is urged that the corrupt practices in our courts of law be -uncovered to public view, whenever that is possible, by that impeccable -censor, the press. Exposure of rascality is good—better, apparently -for rascals than for anybody else, for it usually suggests something -rascally which they had overlooked, and so familiarizes the public -with crime that crime no longer begets loathing. If the newspapers of -the country are really concerned about corrupter practices than their -own and willing to bring our courts up to the English standard there -is something better than exposure—which fatigues. Let the newspapers -set about creating a public opinion favorable to non-elective judges, -well paid, powerful to command respect and holding office for life or -good behavior. That is the only way to get good men and great lawyers -on the Bench. As matters are, we stand and cry for what the English -have, and rail at the way they get it. Our boss-made, press-ridden and -mob-fearing judges give us as good a quality of justice as we merit. A -better quality awaits us whenever the will to have is attended by the -sense to take. - - - - - ARBITRATION - - -The universal cry for industrial arbitration is either dishonest or -unwise. For every evil there are quack remedies galore—especially -for every evil that is irremediable. Of this order of remedies is -arbitration, for of this order of evils is the inadequate wage of -manual labor. Since the beginning of authentic history everything has -been tried in the hope of divorcing poverty and labor, but nothing has -parted them. It is not conceivable that anything ever will; success -of arbitration, antecedently improbable, is demonstrably impossible. -Most of the work of the world is hard, disagreeable, requiring little -intelligence. Most of the people of the world are unfit to do any -other work. If it were not done by them it would not be done, and it -is the basic work. Withdraw them from it and the whole superstructure -would topple and fall. Yet there is so little of the work, and so many -incapable of doing anything else, that adequate return is out of the -question. For the laboring _class_ there is no hope of an existence -that is comfortable in comparison with that of the other class; the -hope of an individual laborer lies in the possibility of fitting -himself for higher employment—employment of the head; not manual but -cerebral labor. While selfishness remains the main ingredient of human -nature (and a survey of the centuries accessible to examination shows -but a slow and intermittent decrease) the cerebral workers, being the -wiser and not much better, will manage to take the greater profit. In -justice it must be said of them that they extend a warm and sincere -invitation to their ranks, and take “apprentices;” every opportunity -for education that the other class enjoys is proof of that. - -Let us, then, look at arbitration more nearly; in our time it is, in -form at least, something new. It began as “international arbitration,” -which already, in settling a few disputes of no great importance, -has shown itself a dangerous remedy. In the necessary negotiation to -determine exactly what points to submit, to whom, and how, and where, -and when to submit them, scores of questions are raised, upon each of -which it is as easy to disagree and fight as upon the original issue. -International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many -burning questions for a smouldering one; for disputes that have reached -a really acute stage are not submitted. Nor, despite all “treaties,” -will a powerful nation arbitrate anything that it considers vital to -its honor or welfare. - -Industrial arbitration is no better; it is manifestly worse, and any -law enforcing it, and enforcing compliance with its decisions, is -absurd and mischievous. “Compulsory arbitration” is not arbitration; -the essence of which is voluntary submission of differences and -voluntary submission to judgment. If reference or obedience is enforced -the arbitrators are simply a court with no powers to do anything but -apply the law. Proponents of the fad would do well to consider this: -If a party to a labor dispute is _compelled_ to invoke and obey a -decision of arbitrators, that decision must follow strictly the line -of law; the smallest invasion of any constitutional, statutory or -common-law right will enable him to upset the judgment. No legislative -body can establish a tribunal empowered to make and enforce illegal -or extra-legal decisions; for making and enforcing legal ones the -tribunals that we already have are sufficient. This talk of “compulsory -arbitration” is the maddest nonsense that the industrial situation has -yet evolved. Doubtless it is sent upon us for our sins; but had we not -already a plague of strikes? - -Arbitration of labor disputes means compromise with the unions. It -can, in this country, mean nothing else, for the law would not survive -a half-dozen failures to concede some part of the workmen’s demands, -however reasonless. By repeated strikes they would eventually get all -their original demand and as much more as on second thought they might -choose to ask for. Each concession would be, as it is now, followed by -a new importunity and the first arbitrators might as well allow them -all that they demand and all that they mean to demand hereafter. - -Would not employers be equally unscrupulous? They would not. They -could not afford the disturbance, the stoppage of the business, the -risk of unfair decisions in a country where it is “popular” to favor -and encourage, not the just, but the poor. The labor leaders have -nothing to lose, not even their employment, for their work is labor -leading. Their dupes, by the way, would not be dupes forever, for with -enforced arbitration the game of “follow my leader” would pay only -until there should be nothing to follow him to but empty treasuries of -dead industries in an extinct civilization. If there must be compulsory -arbitration it should at least not apply to that sum of all impudent -rascalities, the “sympathy strike.” - -As to the men who have set up the claim asserted by the “sympathy -strike,” I shall refer to the affair of 1904. If it was creditable in -them to feel so much concern about a few hundred aliens in Illinois, -how about the grievances of the whole body of their countrymen in -California? When their employers, who they confessed were good to them, -were plundering the public, they did not strike, sympathetically nor -otherwise. Year after year the railway monopoly picked the pockets -of the Californians; corrupted their courts and legislatures; laid -its Briarean hands in exaction upon every industry and interest; -filled the land with lies and false reasoning; threw honest men into -prisons and locked the gates of them against thieves and assassins; -by open defiance of the tax collector denied to children of the poor -the advantages of education—did all this and more; and these honest -working men stood loyally by it, sharing in wages its dishonest gains, -receivers, in one sense, of stolen goods. The groans of their neighbors -were nothing to them; even the wrongs of themselves, their wives and -their children did not stir them to revolt. On every breeze that blew, -a great chorus of cries and curses was borne past their ears unheeded. -Why did they not strike then? Where then were the fiery altruists and -storm-petrels of industrial disorder? The ingenious gods who have -invented the Debses and Gomperses, and humorously branded them with -names that would make a cat laugh, have never put it into their cold -selfish hearts to order out their followers to redress a public wrong, -but only to inflict one—to avenge a personal humiliation, gratify an -appetite for notoriety, slake a thirst for the intoxicating cup of -power, or punish the crime of prosperity. - -It is a practical, an illogical, a turbulent time, yes; it always is. -The age of Jesus Christ was a practical age, yet Jesus Christ was -sweetly impractical. In an illogical period Socrates reasoned clearly, -and logically died for it. Nero’s time was a time of turbulence, yet -Seneca’s mind was not disturbed, nor his conscience perverted. Compare -their fame with the everlasting infamy that time has fixed upon the -names of the Jack Cades, the Robespierres, the Tomaso Nielos—guides -and gods of the “fierce democracies” which rise with a sickening -periodicity to defile the page of history with a quickly fading mark of -blood and fire, their own awful example their sole contribution to the -good of mankind. To be a child of your time, imbued with its spirit and -endowed with its aims—that is to petition Posterity for a niche in the -Temple of Shame. - -No strike of any prominence ever takes place in this country without -the concomitants of violence and destruction of property, and -usually murder. These cheerful incidents one who does not personally -suffer them can endure with considerable fortitude, but hypocritical -condemnation of them by the press that has instigated them and the -strikers who have planned and executed them, and who invariably ascribe -them to those whom they most injure; the solemn offers of the leaders -to assist in protecting the imperiled property and avenging the dead, -while openly employing counsel for every incendiary and assassin -arrested in spite of them—these are pretty hard to bear. A strike -means (for it includes as its main method) violence, lawlessness, -destruction of the property of others than the strikers, riot and, if -necessary, bloodshed. Even when the strikers themselves have no hand in -these crimes they are morally liable for the foreknown consequences of -their act. Nay, they are morally liable for _all_ the consequences—all -the inconveniences and losses to the community, all the sufferings -of the poor entailed by interruptions of trade, all the privations -of other workingmen whom a selfish attention to their own supposed -advantage throws out of the closed industries. They are liable in -morals and should be made so in law—only that strikes are needless. -It is not worth while to create a multitude of complex criminal -responsibilities for acts which can, possibly, be prevented by a single -and simple one. How? - -First, I should like to point out that we are hearing a deal too much -about a man’s inalienable right to work or play, at his own sovereign -will. In so far as that means—and it is always used to mean—his -right to quit any kind of work at any moment, without notice and -regardless of consequences to others, it is false; there is no such -moral right, and the law should have at least a speaking acquaintance -with morality. What is mischievous should be illegal. The various -interests of civilization are so complex, delicate, intertangled and -interdependent that no man, and no set of men, should have power to -throw the entire scheme into confusion and disorder for promotion of a -trumpery principle or a class advantage. In dealing with corporations -we recognize that. If for any selfish purpose a trade union of railway -managers had done what their sacred brakemen and divine firemen did—had -decreed that “no wheel should turn” until Mr. Pullman’s men should -return to work—they would have found themselves all in jail the second -day. _Their_ right to quit work was not conceded: they lacked that -authenticating credential of moral and legal irresponsibility, an -indurated palm. In a small lockout affecting a mill or two the offender -finds a half-hearted support in the law if he is willing to pay enough -deputy sheriffs; but even then he is mounted by the hobnailed populace, -at its back the daily newspapers, clamoring and spitting like cats. -But let the manager of a great railway discharge all its men without -warning and “kill” its own engines! Then see what you will see. To -commit a wrong so gigantic with impunity a man must wear overalls. - -How prevent anybody from committing it? How break up this _régime_ of -strikes and boycotts and lockouts, more disastrous to others than to -those at whom the blows are aimed—than to those, even, who deliver -them? How make all those concerned in the management and operation of -great industries, about which have grown up tangles of related and -dependent interests, conduct them with some regard to the welfare of -others? Before committing ourselves to the dubious and irretraceable -course of “government ownership,” or to the infectious expedient of -“regulation,” is there anything of promise yet untried?—anything of -superior simplicity and easier application? - -There are few simple remedies for social or political ills. It is a -familiar truth that no law was ever passed that did not have unforeseen -results; but of these results, by far the greater number are never -recognized as of its creation. The best that can be said of any -“measure” is that the sum of its perceptible benefits seems so to -exceed the sum of its perceptible evils as to constitute a balance of -advantage. Yet the statesman or philosopher to whose understanding -“the whole matter lies in a nutshell”—who thinks he can formulate a -practical political or social policy within the four corners of an -epigram is constantly to the fore with a simple specific for ills whose -causes are complex, constant and obscure. - -Nevertheless, it would be wise to make a breach of labor contract by -either party to it a criminal offense punishable by imprisonment. “Fine -or imprisonment” will not do—the employee, unable to pay the fine, -would commonly go to jail, the employer seldom. That would not be fair. - -The need of such a law is apparent: labor contracts would then be -drawn for a certain time, securing both employer and employee and -(which is more important) helpless persons in related and dependent -industries—the whole public, in fact—against sudden and disastrous -action by either “capital” or “labor” for accomplishment of a purely -selfish and frankly impudent end. A strike or lockout compelled to -announce itself thirty days in advance would be comparatively innocuous -to the public, whilst securing to the party of initiation all the -advantages that anybody professes to want—all but the advantage of -ruining others and successfully defying the laws. - -Under the present _régime_ labor contracts are useless; either party -can violate them with impunity. They offer redress only through a civil -suit for damages, and the employee commonly has nothing with which -to conduct an action or satisfy a judgment. The consequence is seen -in the incessant and increasing industrial disturbances, with their -ever-attendant crimes against property, life and liberty—disturbances -which, by driving capital to investments in which it needs employ no -labor, do more than all the other causes so glibly enumerated by every -newspaper and politician, though by no two alike, to bring about the -“hard times”—which in their turn cause further and worse disturbances. - - - - - THE GIFT O’ GAB - - -A book entitled _Forensic Eloquence_, by Mr. John Goss, appears to have -for purpose to teach the young idea how to spout, and that purpose, -I dare say, it will accomplish if something is not done to prevent. -I know nothing of the matter myself, a strong distaste for forensic -eloquence, or eloquence of any kind implying a man mounted on his -legs and doing all the talking, having averted me from its study. The -training of the youth of this country to utterance of themselves after -that fashion I should regard as a disaster of magnitude. So far as I -know it, forensic eloquence is the art of saying things in such a way -as to make them pass for more than they are worth. Employed in matters -of importance (and for other employment it were hardly worth acquiring) -it is mischievous because dishonest and misleading. In the public -service Truth toils best when not clad in cloth-of-gold and bedaubed -with fine lace. If eloquence does not beget action it is valueless; but -action which results from the passions, sentiments and emotions is -less likely to be wise than that which comes of a persuaded judgment. -For that reason I cannot help thinking that the influence of Bismarck -in German politics was more wholesome than is that of Mr. John Temple -Graves. - -For eloquence _per se_—considered merely as an art of pleasing—I -entertain something of the respect evoked by success; for it always -pleases at least the speaker. It is to speech what an ornate style -is to writing—good and pleasant enough in its time and place and, -like pie-crust and the evening girl, destitute of any basis in common -sense. Forensic eloquence, on the contrary, has an all too sufficient -foundation in reason and the order of things: it promotes the ambition -of tricksters and advances the fortunes of rogues. For I take it that -the Ciceros, the Mirabeaus, the Burkes, the O’Connells, the Patrick -Henrys and the rest of them—pets of the text-bookers and scourges of -youth—belong in either the one category or the other, or in both. -Anyhow I find it impossible to think of them as high-minded men and -rightforth statesmen—with their actors’ tricks, their devices of the -countenance, inventions of gesture and other cunning expedients having -nothing to do with the matter in hand. Extinction of the orator I hold -to be the most beneficent possibility of evolution. If Mr. Goss has -done anything to retard that blessed time when the Bourke Cockrans -shall cease from troubling and the weary be at rest he is an enemy of -his race. - -“What!” exclaims the thoughtless reader—I have but one—“are not the -great forensic speeches by the world’s famous orators good reading? -Considering them merely as literature do you not derive a high and -refining pleasure from them?” I do not: I find them turgid and tumid -no end. They are bad reading, though they may have been good hearing. -In order to enjoy them one must have in memory what, indeed, one is -seldom permitted to forget: that they were addressed to the ear; and -in imagination one must hold some shadowy simulacrum of the orator -himself, uttering his work. These conditions being fulfilled there -remains for application to the matter of the discourse too little -attention to get much good of it, and the total effect is confusion. -Literature by which the reader is compelled to bear in mind the -producer and the circumstances under which it was produced can be -spared. - - - - - NATURA BENIGNA - - -It is not always on remote islands peopled with pagans that great -disasters occur, as memory witnesseth. Nor are the forces of nature -inadequate to production of a fiercer throe than any that we have -known. The situation is this: we are tied by the feet to a fragile -shell imperfectly confining a force powerful enough under favoring -conditions, to burst it asunder and set the fragments wallowing and -grinding together in liquid flame, in the blind fury of a readjustment. -Nay, it needs no such stupendous cataclysm to de-people this uneasy -orb. Let but a square mile be blown out of the bottom of the sea, or a -great rift open there. Is it to be supposed that we would be unaffected -in the altered conditions generated by a contest between the ocean and -the earth’s molten core? These fatalities are not only possible but in -the highest degree probable. It is probable, indeed, that they have -occurred over and over again, effacing all the more highly organized -forms of life, and compelling the slow march of evolution to begin -anew. Slow? On the stage of Eternity the passing of races—the entrances -and exits of Life—are incidents in a brisk and lively drama, following -one another with confusing rapidity. - -Mankind has not found it practicable to abandon and avoid those -places where the forces of nature have been most malign. The track -of the Western tornado is speedily repeopled. San Francisco is still -populous, despite its earthquake, Galveston despite its storm, and -even the courts of Lisbon are not kept by the lion and the lizard. In -the Peruvian village straight downward into whose streets the crew -of a United States warship once looked from the crest of a wave that -stranded her a half mile inland are heard the tinkle of the guitar and -the voices of children at play. There are people living at Herculaneum -and Pompeii. On the slopes about Catania the goatherd endures with -what courage he may the trembling of the ground beneath his feet as -old Enceladus again turns over on his other side. As the Hoang-Ho goes -back inside its banks after fertilizing its contiguity with hydrate of -Chinaman the living agriculturist follows the receding wave, sets up -his habitation beneath the broken embankment, and again the Valley of -the Gone Away blossoms as the rose, its people dicing with Death. - -This matter can not be amended: the race exposes itself to peril -because it can do no otherwise. In all the world there is no city of -refuge—no temple in which to take sanctuary, clinging to the horns of -the altar—no “place apart” where, like hunted deer, we can hope to -elude the baying pack of Nature’s malevolences. The dead-line is drawn -at the gate of life: Man crosses it at birth. His advent is a challenge -to the entire pack—earthquake, storm, fire, flood, drought, heat, cold, -wild beasts, venomous reptiles, noxious insects, bacilli, spectacular -plague and velvet-footed household disease—all are fierce and tireless -in pursuit. Dodge, turn and double how he can, there’s no eluding them; -soon or late some of them have him by the throat and his spirit returns -to the God who gave it—and gave them. - -We are told that this earth was made for our inhabiting. Our dearly -beloved brethren in the faith, our spiritual guides, philosophers and -friends of the pulpit, never tire of pointing out the goodness of -God in giving us so excellent a place to live in and commending the -admirable adaptation of all things to our needs. - -What a fine world it is, to be sure—a darling little world, “so suited -to the needs of man.” A globe of liquid fire, straining within a shell -relatively no thicker than that of an egg—a shell constantly cracking -and in momentary danger of going all to pieces! Three-fourths of this -delectable field of human activity are covered with an element in which -we can not breathe, and which swallows us by myriads: - - With moldering bones the deep is white - From the frozen zones to the tropics bright. - -Of the other one-fourth more than one-half is uninhabitable by reason -of climate. On the remaining one-eighth we pass a comfortless and -precarious existence in disputed occupancy with countless ministers of -death and pain—pass it in fighting for it, tooth and nail, a hopeless -battle in which we are foredoomed to defeat. Everywhere death, terror, -lamentation and the laughter that is more terrible than tears—the fury -and despair of a race hanging on to life by the tips of its fingers! -And the prize for which we strive, “to have and to hold”—what is it? -A thing that is neither enjoyed while had, nor missed when lost. So -worthless it is, so unsatisfying, so inadequate to purpose, so false to -hope and at its best so brief, that for consolation and compensation we -set up fantastic faiths of an aftertime in a better world from which -no confirming whisper has ever reached us across the void. Heaven is a -prophecy uttered by the lips of despair, but Hell is an inference from -analogy. - - - - - INDUSTRIAL DISCONTENT - - - I - -The time seems to have come when the two antagonistic elements of -American society should, and could afford to, throw off their disguises -and frankly declare their principles and purposes. But what, it may -be asked, are the two antagonistic elements? Dividing lines parting -the population into two camps more or less hostile may be drawn -variously; for example, one may be run between the law-abiding and -the criminal class. But the elements to which reference is here made -are those immemorial and implacable foes which the slang of modern -economics roughly and loosely distinguishes as “capital” and “labor.” -A more accurate classification—as accurate a one as it is possible to -make—would designate them as those who do muscular labor and those who -do not. The distinction between rich and poor does not serve: to the -laborer, the rich man who works with his hands is not objectionable; -the poor man who does not, is. Consciously or unconsciously, and alike -by those whose necessities compel them to perform it and those whose -better fortune enables them to avoid it, manual labor is considered the -most insufferable of human pursuits. It is a pill that the Tolstois, -the “communities” and the “Knights” of Labor can not sugar-coat. We may -prate of the dignity of labor; emblazon its praise upon banners; set -apart a day on which to stop work and celebrate it; shout our teeth -loose in its glorification—and, God help our foolish souls to better -sense, we think we mean it all! - -If labor is so good and great a thing let all be thankful, for all -can have as much of it as may be desired. The eight-hour law is not -mandatory to the laborer, nor does possession of leisure entail -idleness. It is permitted to the clerk, the shopman, the street -peddler—to all who live by the light employment of keeping the wolf -from the door without eating him—to abandon their ignoble callings, -seize the shovel, the axe and the sledge-hammer and lay about them -right sturdily, to the ample gratification of their desire. And those -who are engaged in more profitable vocations will find that with a part -of their incomes they can purchase the right to work as hard as they -like in even the dullest times. - -Manual labor has nothing of dignity, nothing of beauty. It is a hard, -imperious and dispiriting necessity. He who is condemned to it feels -that it sets upon his brow the sign of intellectual inferiority. And -that brand of servitude never ceases to burn. In no country and at -no time has the laborer had a kindly feeling for the rest of us, for -everywhere and always he has fancied that he heard in our patronizing -platitudes the note of contempt. In his repression, in the denying him -the opportunity to avenge his real and imaginary wrongs, government -finds its main usefulness, activity and justification. Governments -are evolved out of the necessity of protecting from the hand-worker -the life and property of the brain-worker and the idler. The first -of the trio is the most dangerous because the most numerous and the -least content. Take from the science and the art of government, and -from its methods, whatever has had its origin in the consciousness of -his ill-will and the fear of his power and what have you left? A pure -republic—that is to say, no government. - -I should like it understood that, if not absolutely devoid of political -prejudices, I at least believe myself to be; that except as to -result I think no more of one form of government than of another; and -that with reference to results all forms seem to me bad, but bad in -different degrees. If asked my opinion as to the results of our own, -I should point to Homestead, to Wardner, to Buffalo, to Coal Creek, -to the interminable tale of unpunished murders by individuals and by -mobs, to legislatures and courts unspeakably corrupt and executives -of criminal cowardice, to the prevalence and immunity of plundering -trusts and corporations and the multiplication of unhappy millionaires. -I should invite attention to the abuses of the pension roll, to the -similar and incredible extravagance of Republican and Democratic -“Houses”—a plague o’ them both! If addressing Democrats only, I should -mention the protective tariff; if Republicans, the hill-tribe clamor -for free coinage of silver. I should call to mind the existence and -prosperous activity of a thousand lying secret societies having -for their main object mitigation of republican simplicity by means -of pageantry, costumes grotesquely resembling those of kings and -courtiers, and titles of address and courtesy exalted enough to draw -laughter from an ox. - -In contemplation of these and a hundred other “results,” no less -shameful in themselves than significant of the deeper shame beneath, -and prophetic of the blacker shame to come, I should say: “Behold the -outcome of hardly more than a century of government by the people! -Behold the superstructure whose foundations our forefathers laid upon -the unstable overgrowth of popular caprice surfacing the unplummeted -abysm of human depravity! Behold the reality behind our dream of the -efficacy of forms, the saving grace of principles, the magic of words! -We have believed in the wisdom of majorities and are fooled; trusted to -the good honor of numbers, and are betrayed. Lo, this is the beginning -of the end of the dream!” - -Our no government has broken down at every point, and the two -irreconcilable elements whose suspensions of hostilities are mistaken -for peace are to try their hands at each other’s tempting display of -throats. There is no longer so much as a pretense of amity; apparently -there will not much longer be a pretense of regard for mercy and -morals. Already “industrial discontent” has attained to the magnitude -of war. It is important, then, that there be an understanding of -principles and purposes. As the combatants will not define their -position truthfully by words, let us see if it can be inferred from -the actions which are said to speak more plainly. If one of the men -“directing the destinies” of the labor organizations in this country, -could be enticed into the Palace of Truth and “examined” by a skilful -catechist he would indubitably say something like this: - -“Our ultimate purpose is effacement of the distinction between employer -and employee, which is but a modification of that between master and -slave. - -“We purpose that the laborer shall be chief owner of all the property -and profits of the enterprise in which he is engaged, and have through -his union a controlling voice in all its affairs. - -“We purpose overthrowing the system under which a man can grow richer -by working with his head than with his hands, and preventing the man -who works with neither from having anything at all. - -“In the attainment of these ends any means is to be judged, as to its -fitness for our use, with sole regard to its efficacy. We shall punish -the innocent for the sins of the guilty. We shall destroy property and -life under such circumstances and to such an extent as may seem to us -expedient. Falsehood, treachery, arson, assassination, all these we -look upon as legitimate if effective. - -“The rules of ‘civilized warfare’ we shall not observe, but shall put -prisoners to death or torture them, as we please. - -“We do not recognize a non-union man’s right to labor, nor to live. The -right to strike includes the right to strike _him_.” - -Doubtless all that (and the half is not told) sounds to the unobservant -like a harsh exaggeration, an imaginative travesty of the principles -of labor organizations. It is not a travesty; it has no element of -exaggeration. Not in the last twenty-five years has a great strike or -lockout occurred in this country without supplying facts, notorious -and undisputed, upon which some of these confessions of faith are -founded. The war is practically a servile insurrection, and servile -insurrections are to-day what they ever were: the most cruel and -ferocious of all manifestations of human hate. Emancipation is rough -work; when he who would be free, himself strikes the blow, he does -not consider too curiously with what he strikes it nor upon whom it -falls. It will profit you to understand, my fine gentlemen with the -soft hands, the character of that which is confronting you. You are not -threatened with a bombardment of roses. - -Let us look into the other camp, where General Hardhead is so engrossed -with his own greatness and power as not clearly to hear the shots on -his picket line. Suppose we hypnotize him and make him open his “shut -soul” to our searching. He will say something like this: - -“In the first place, I claim the right to own and enclose for my own -use or disuse as much of the earth’s surface as I am desirous and able -to procure. I and my kind have made laws confirming us in the occupancy -of the entire habitable and arable area as fast as we can get it. To -the objection that this must eventually, here, as it has actually done -elsewhere, deprive the rest of you of places upon which legally to be -born, and exclude you, after surreptitious birth as trespassers, from -all chance to procure directly the fruits of the earth, I reply that -you can be born at sea and eat fish. - -“I claim the right to induce you, by offer of employment, to colonize -yourselves and families about my factories, and then arbitrarily, by -withdrawing the employment, break up in a day the homes that you have -been years in acquiring where it is no longer possible for you to -procure work. - -“In determining your rate of wages when I employ you, I claim the right -to make your necessities a factor in the problem, thus making your -misfortunes cumulative. By the law of supply and demand (God bless its -expounder!) the less you have and the less chance to get more, the more -I have the right to take from you in labor and the less I am bound to -give you in wages. - -“I claim the right to maintain a private army to subdue you when you -rise. - -“I claim the right to make you suffer, by creating for my advantage an -artificial scarcity of the necessaries of life. - -“As to falsehood, treachery and the other military virtues with which -you threaten me, I shall go, in them, as far as you; but from arson and -assassination I recoil with horror. You see you have very little to -burn, and you are not more than half alive anyhow.” - -That, I submit, is a pretty fair definition of the position of the -rich man who works for himself with his head. It seems worth while to -put it on record while he is extant to challenge or verify; for the -probability is that unless he mend his ways he will not much longer be -rich, nor work, nor have a head. - - - II - -In discussion of such murderous misdoings as those at Homestead and -Coeur d’Alene it is amusing to observe all the champions of law and -order gravely prating of “principles” and declaring with all the -solemnity of owls that these sacred things have been violated. On that -ground they have the argument all their own way. Indubitably there is -hardly a fundamental principle of law and morals that rioting laborers -have not footballed out of the field of consideration. Indubitably, -too, in doing so they have forfeited, as they must have expected to -forfeit, all the “moral support” for which they do not care. If there -were any question of their culpability this solemn insistence upon it -would lack something of the humor with which it is now invested, and -which saves the observer from death by dejection. - -It is not only in discussions of the “labor situation” that we hear -this eternal babble of “principles.” It is never out of ear, and in -politics is especially clamant. Every success in an election is yawped -of as “a triumph of Republican (or Democratic) principles.” But neither -in politics nor in the quarrels of laborers and their employers have -principles a place as factors in the problem. Their use is to supply -to both combatants a vocabulary of accusation and appeal. All the -fierce talk of an antagonist’s violation of those eternal principles -upon which organized society is founded—and the rest of it—what is it -but the cry of the dog with the chewed ear? The dog that is chewing -foregoes the advantage of song. - -Human contests engaging any number of contestants are struggles, not -of principles but of interests; and this is no less true of those -decided by the ballot than of those in which the franker bullet gives -judgment. Nor, but from considerations of prudence and expediency, will -either party hesitate to transgress the limits of the law and outrage -the sense of right. At Homestead and Wardner the laborers committed -robbery, pillage and murder, as striking workmen invariably do when -they dare, and as cowardly newspapers and politicians encourage them -in doing. But what would you have? They conceive it to be to their -interest to do these things. If capitalists conceived it to be to -theirs they too would do them. They do not do them, for their interest -lies in the supremacy of the law—under which they can suffer loss but -do not suffer hunger. - -“But they do murder,” say the labor unions; “they bring in gangs of -armed mercenaries who shoot down honest workmen striving for their -rights.” This is the baldest nonsense, as they know very well who utter -it. The “Pinkerton men” are mere mercenaries and have no right place -in our system, but there have been no instances of their attacking -men not engaged in some unlawful prank. In the fight at Homestead the -workmen were actually intrenched on premises belonging to the other -side, where they had not the shadow of a legal right to be. American -working men are not fools; they know well enough when they are rogues. -But confession is not among the military virtues, and the question, Is -roguery expedient? is not so simple that it can be determined by asking -the first preacher that you meet. - -It would be fair and fine all around if idle workmen would not riot -nor idle employers meet force with force, but invoke the impossible -sheriff. When the Dragon has been chained in the Bottomless Pit and -we are living under the rule of the saints things will be so ordered, -but in these evil times “revolutions are not made with rosewater,” and -this is a revolution. What is being revolutionized is the relation -between our old friends, Capital and Labor. The relation has already -been altered many times, doubtless; once, we know, within the period -covered by history, at least in the countries that we call civilized. -The relation was formerly a severely simple one—the capitalist owned -the laborer. Of the difficulty and the cost of abolishing that system -it is needless to speak at length. Through centuries of time and with -an appalling sacrifice of life the effort has gone on, a continuous -war characterized by monstrous infractions of law and morals, by -incalculable cruelty and crime. Our own generation has witnessed the -culminating triumphs of this revolution, and now, while still the -clank of the falling chains is echoing through the world, and still a -diminishing multitude of the world’s workers is in bondage under the -old system, the others, for whose liberation was all this “expense of -spirit in a waste of shame,” are sharply challenging the advantage -of the new. The new is, in truth, breaking down at every point. -The relation of employer and employee is giving but little better -satisfaction than that of master and slave. The difference between -the two is, indeed, not nearly so broad as we persuade ourselves to -think it. In many industries there is virtually no difference, and the -tendency is more and more to effacement of the difference where it -exists. - - - III - -The “labor question”—how to get half enough to eat by working for it—is -as old as appetite. It burned in Assyrian bosoms and tormented the soul -of the ancient Egyptian. In his day and country the medium of exchange -was grain. The banks—all except those of the Nile—were granaries, and -a check was an order for so much grain. Taxes were paid in grain, -salaries and bribes of state officials, soldiers’ wages, pensions, -nearly everything. The wages of laborers and other persons improvident -enough to work by the day were commonly paid in loaves of bread, as -is shown by an account-book of the steward of an “Abode of Rameses,” -which was possibly the Ramesseum at Thebes. Among the entries are such -as this: “Phamenoth the 8th day. Paid out the bread to the folk, 40 -persons, each 2 loaves, making 80”—which shows, too, that the worthy -steward had a very pretty knack at arithmetic. When paid by the month, -and sometimes when paid by the day, the laborer receiving his wages in -corn got also a certain stated quantity of oil, which, however, was not -considered as money, but as rations. In a _papyrus_ preserved at Turin -one Hanefer imparts some directions to one Hora concerning certain -characteristic work of these old pyramid and temple builders: “Note -that the men be divided into three gangs, each gang under its captain: -six hundred men, making for each gang two hundred. Make them drag the -three great blocks which are before the gate of the temple of Maut, and -not for one single day let it be omitted to give out their portions -of corn and oil.... Also let oil be given to each driver of a pair of -oxen.” - -Strikes and other “remedial measures” appear to have been as common -then as they are now. The unions, like those of Rome later, were -turbulent and insurgent. - -In the twenty-ninth year of Rameses III a deputation of workmen -employed in the Theban necropolis met the superintendent and the -priests with a statement of their grievances. “Behold,” said the -spokesman, “we are brought to the verge of famine. We have neither -food, nor oil, nor clothing; we have no fish; we have no vegetables. -Already we have sent up a petition to our sovereign lord the Pharaoh, -praying that he will give us these things, and we are going to appeal -to the governor that we may have the wherewithal to live.” The response -to this complaint was one day’s rations of corn. This appears to have -been enough only while it lasted, for a few weeks later the workmen -were in open revolt. Thrice they broke out of their quarter, rioting -like mad and defying the police. Whether they were finally shot full of -arrows by the Pinkerton men of the period the record does not state. - -“Organized discontent” in the laboring population is no new thing under -the sun, but in this century and country it has a new opportunity, and -Omniscience alone can forecast the outcome. Of one thing we may be very -sure, and the sooner the “capitalist” can persuade himself to discern -it the sooner will his eyes guard his neck: the relations between those -who are able to live without physical toil and those who are not are a -long way from final adjustment, but are about to undergo a profound -and essential alteration. That this is to come by peaceful evolution -is a hope which has nothing in history to sustain it. There are to -be bloody noses and cracked crowns, and the good persons who suffer -themselves to be shocked by such things in others will have a chance -to try them for themselves. The working man is not troubling himself -greatly about a just allotment of these blessings; so that the greater -part go to those who do not work with their hands, he will not consider -too curiously any one’s claim to exemption. It would perhaps better -harmonize with his sense of the fitness of things if the disadvantages -of the transitional period fell mostly to the share of his benefactors; -but almost any distribution that is sufficiently objectionable as a -whole to the other side will be acceptable to the distributor. In the -meantime it is to be wished that the moralizers and homilizers who -prate of “principles” may have a little damnation dealt out to them on -account. The head that is unable to entertain a philosophical view of -the situation would be notably advantaged by removal. - - - IV - -It is the immigration of “the oppressed of all nations” that has made -this country one of the most lawless on the face of the earth. The -change from good to bad took place within a generation—so quickly that -few of us have had the nimbleness of apprehension to “get it through -our heads.” We go on screaming our eagle in the self-same note of -triumph that we were taught at our father’s knees before the eagle -became a buzzard. America is still “an asylum for the oppressed;” and -still, as always and everywhere, the oppressed are unworthy of asylum, -avenging upon those who give them sanctuary the wrongs from which they -fled. The saddest thing about oppression is that it makes its victims -unfit for anything but to be oppressed—makes them dangerous alike to -their tyrants, their saviors and themselves. In the end they turn -out to be fairly energetic oppressors. The gentleman in the cesspool -invites compassion, certainly, but we may be very well assured, -before undertaking his relief without a pole, that his conception of -a prosperous life is merely to have his head above the surface with -another gentleman underfoot. - -All languages are spoken in Hell, but chiefly those of southeastern -Europe. I do not say that a man fresh from the fields or the factories -of Europe—even of southeastern Europe—may not be a good man; I say only -that, as a matter of fact, he commonly is not. Let us not deny him his -grievance: he works—when he works—for men no better than himself. He is -required, in many instances, to take a part of his pay in “truck” at -prices of breathless altitude; and the pay itself is inadequate—hardly -more than double what he could get in his own country. Against all this -his cry is justified; but his rioting and assassination are not—not -even when directed against the property and persons of his employers. -When directed against the persons of other laborers, who choose to -exercise the fundamental human right to work for whom and for what -pay they please—when he denies this right, and with it the right of -organized society to exist, the necessity of shooting him is not only -apparent; it is conspicuous and imperative. That he and his kind, of -whatever nationality, are usually forgiven this just debt of nature and -suffered to execute, like rivers, their annual spring rise constitutes -the most valid of the many indictments that decent Americans by birth -or adoption find against the feeble form of government under which -their country groans. A nation that will not enforce its laws has no -claim to the respect and allegiance of its people. - -This “citizen soldiery” business is a ghastly failure. The National -Guard is not worth the price of its uniforms. It is intended to be a -Greater Constabulary: its purpose is to suppress disorders with which -the civil authorities are too feeble to cope. How often does it do so? -Mostly it fraternizes with, or is cowed or beaten by, the savage mobs -which it is called upon to kill. In a country with a competent militia -and competent men to use it there would be crime enough and some to -spare, but no rioting. Rioting in a republic is without excuse. If we -have bad laws, or if our good laws are not enforced; if corporations -and capital are “tyrannous and strong;” if white men murder one another -and black men outrage white women, all this is our own fault—the fault -of those, among others, who seek redress or revenge by rioting and -lynching. The people of a republic have always as good government, -as good industrial conditions, as effective protection of person, -property and liberty, as they merit. They can have whatever they have -the honesty to desire and the sense to set about getting in the right -way. If as citizens of a republic we lack the virtue and intelligence -rightly to use the supreme power of the ballot so that it really - - executes a freeman’s will - As lightning does the will of God - -we are unfit to be citizens of a republic, undeserving of peace, -prosperity and liberty, and have no right to rise against conditions -due to our moral and intellectual delinquency. There is a simple way, -Messieurs the Masses, to correct public evils: put wise and good men -into power. If you can not do that for you are not yourselves wise, or -will not for you are not yourselves good, you deserve to be oppressed -when you submit and shot when you rise. - -To shoot a rioter or lyncher is a high kind of mercy. Suppose that -twenty-five years ago (the longer ago the better) two or three criminal -mobs in succession had been exterminated in that way, “as the law -provides.” Suppose that several scores of lives had been so taken, -including even those of “innocent bystanders”—though that kind of angel -does not abound in the vicinity of mobs. Suppose that no demagogue -judges had permitted officers in command of the “firing lines” to be -persecuted in the courts. Suppose that these events had writ themselves -large and red in the public memory. How many lives would this have -saved? Just as many as since have been taken and lost by rioters, -plus those that for a long time to come will be taken. Make your own -computation from your own data; I insist only that a rioter shot in -time saves the shooting of nine. - -You know—you, the People—that all this is true. You know that in a -republic lawlessness is villainy entailing greater evils than it -cures—that it cures none. You know that even the “money power” is -powerful only through your own dishonesty and cowardice. You know that -nobody can bribe nor intimidate a legislator or voter who will not -take a bribe nor suffer himself to be intimidated—that there can be no -“money power” in a nation of honorable and courageous men. You know -that “bosses” and “machines” can not control you if you will not suffer -them to divide you into “parties” by playing upon your credulity and -senseless passions. You know all this, and know it all the time. Yet -not a man has the courage to stand forth and say to your faces what you -know in your hearts. Well, Messieurs the Masses, I don’t consider you -dangerous—not very. I have not observed that you want to tear anybody -to pieces for confessing your sins, even if at the same time he confess -his own. From a considerable experience in that sort of thing I judge -that you rather like it, and that he whom, secretly, you most despise -is he who echoes back to you what he is pleased to think you think, -and flatters you for gain. Anyhow, for some reason, I never hear you -speak well of newspaper men and politicians, though in the shadow of -your dis-esteem they get an occasional gleam of consolation by speaking -fairly well of one another. - - - - - WRITERS OF DIALECT - - - I - -With regard to dialect, the literary law, I take it, is about this: To -be allowable in either verse or prose it must be the mother-speech, -not only of the characters using it, but of the writer himself, who, -also, must be unable to write equally well in the larger tongue. This -was the case with Burns. Had he not been to the manner born how absurd -it would have been in him to write for the few who, naturally or by -study and with difficulty, can understand, instead of the many who read -and love good English! For my part, I am unable to read Burns with -satisfaction; and I am steadfast in the conviction that, excepting -among his countrymen, few of those who parrot his praise are better -able than I. Of another thing I am tolerably well assured, albeit it is -nothing to the purpose, namely, that Burns was more wit than poet. Upon -that proposition I am ready to do battle with all Caledonia, the pipers -alone excepted. - -In humorous and satirical work like, for example, _The Biglow Papers_, -the law is relaxed, even suspended; and in serious prose fiction if the -exigencies of the narrative demand the introduction of an unlettered -hind whose speech would naturally be “racy of the soil” he must needs -come in and sport the tangles of his tongue. But he is to be got rid -of as promptly as possible—preferably by death. The making of an -entire story out of the lives and loves and lingoes of him and his -co-pithecans—that is effrontery. If it be urged in deprecation of this -my view that it is incompatible with relish of and respect for, Miss -Mary Wilkins Freeman, Miss Mary Murfree, Mr. Hamlin Garland and other -curled darlings of the circulating libraries, I candidly confess that -it is open to that objection. Of all such offenders against sweetness -and sense I have long cherished a comfortable conviction that it were -better if instead of writing things “racy of the soil” they would till -it. - -The talk of intelligent persons in an unfamiliar language is a -legitimate literary “property,” but the talk of ignorant persons -misusing their own language has value and interest to nobody but other -ignorant persons and, possibly, the philologist. Literature, however, -is not intended for service in advancing the interests of philology. -The “general reader” whose interest in the characters of a tale is -quickened by their faulty speech may reasonably boast that the ties of -affinity connecting him with their intellectual condition have not been -strained by stretching: it is not overfar from where he is to where he -came from. - -For several months the booksellers of the principal cities in this -country reported that the book _David Harum_ sold better than any -other. The sales went into the hundreds of thousands. It was reviewed -with acclamation by all the popular newspapers and magazines, stared -at you from every “centre table” and was flung into your ears whenever -you had the hardihood to enter a “parlor.” _David Harum_ is one of the -most candidly vulgar and stupid books ever proffered to the taste and -understanding of “the general reader.” It is of course largely written -in “dialect”—that is, in the loutly locution of an illiterate clown -making a trial at his mother-speech. Its “dialect” is so particularly -offensive that I suppose it to be a “transcript from nature:” persons -from whom it is possible would certainly not deny themselves the -happiness of speaking it; and the book may have some value to the -hardy philologer tracing backward the line of linguistic evolution to -the grunt of the primeval pig. To record the vocal riddances of the -ignorant may be one of the purposes of popular fiction, for anything -that I know, but at least its authors might, in the interest of art, -charge its horrible words with something that one unaffected by -softening of the brain might think to be thoughts; and perhaps they -would if that pandemic infirmity had not marked them for its own. - -Male and female created He them. Mary E. Wilkins Freeman furnishes -forth her annual output of New-English antiques and detestables, filing -their teeth with their tongues, to the inexpressible uncomforting -of the auditory nerve. Mary Murfree, in perpetual session on the -Delectable Mountains, with a lapful of little clay-eaters and -snuff-rubbers, sweats great beads of blood to build the lofty crime -and endow it with enough galvanic vitality to stand alone while she -reaches for more mud for a new creation. There follows an interminable -line of imitators and imitatresses, causing two “dialects” to grow -where but one grew before, and rabbiting the literary preserve with a -multiplication of impossibles to speak them. And we forbid them not, -for of such is the kingdom of American letters. - -Now, the “dialect” of which these persons are so enamored as to -fill whole volumes with it is not dialect; it is simply English as -spoken by none but uneducated persons and “recorded” by those to whom -ignorance is attractive and seems picturesque. To a sane intelligence -it is neither. Such an intelligence regards it with tolerance or -aversion—that depends on whether in life it is modest or presumptuous; -in letters, subordinate and incidental or dominant and essential. The -writers named—they and their literary co-populists, an innumerable -commonalty—love ignorance for its own sake. They seem to think, and -indubitably do think, that the lives and adventures, the virtues and -vices, joys and sorrows of the illiterate are more interesting than -those prone to grammar and ablution. To those fortuitous collocations -of peasant instincts and pithecan intuitions which these writers call -their understandings a sentiment is deemed to have an added value when -expressed in coarse and faulty speech. So they give us whole books of -it, coddle the resulting popularity as “fame” and prosper abundantly -by their sin. - -There are dialects which in literary work are legitimate and -acceptable—to those who understand. That of Burns, for example, -is spoken by thousands of cultivated persons and was his own -mother-tongue. He erred in writing in it, as do all having command of -the better and more spacious speech that assures a wider attention, -but in so doing, he broke no laws of taste nor of sense. The matter -is simple enough. A true dialect is legitimate; the faulty speech of -an educated person in an unfamiliar tongue is legitimate, as is that -of a child; but the lame locution of the merely ignorant—the language -of the letterless—that is not dialect, and in any quantity in excess -of an amount that may be needful in fiction for _vraisemblance_, or -in verse for humor, is reasonless and offensive. As to poetry, our -literature contains no line of that in any such speech. The muse is not -so feasible; she does not submit herself to the embrace of a yokel—not -even to a Tennyson wearing the smock of a northern farmer. - -In fiction the limits of dialect that is not dialect are plainly -defined, not by usage of the masters, for none than masters go more -often wrong—as none but they can afford to do—but by reason and the -sense of things. If in evolution of his plot the story teller find -it expedient to seek assistance from the “man o’ the people” as a -subordinate character, that worthy person must needs use the speech -of his tribe; as actors, having to wear something—a regrettable -necessity—may garb themselves in the costume of the time of the play, -however hideous it may be. But beyond this the teller of stories that -are not true is denied the right to go. To take for hero or heroine a -person unable to speak the language of the tale, whose conversations -are turbid swirls in the clear stream of the narrative, is an affront -justifiable only by a moral purpose presumably in equal need of -justification. - - - II - - One reads Mr. Hay’s earlier poems with a thrill of pride. They open - glimpses of unselfish courage and sublime devotion compared with - which the prancing pageantry of Homer afflicts us like the cheap - tinsel of the melodrama. - -Such is the serious judgment of a reputable writer living in the -capital of the nation. It has a particular reference to “Little -Breeches” and “Jim Bludso,” which are not poems at all, but formless -blobs of coarse, rank sentimentality in the speech of snuff-rubbers and -clay-eaters—the so-called “dialect.” They are no better and could not -be worse than the “Hoosier” horrors of Riley and the “barrack-room” -afflictions of Kipling. I do not doubt that Hay’s dislike of them -and his wish that they might be forgotten incited him to literary -silence, whereby we are deprived of the poetry that he might have -given us had he remained in the field. There is not a true poet in -this country who has not experienced the deep disgust of observing -the superior “popularity” of his own worst work. That here and there -a few should give up in despair, taking to politics, to business, to -any coarse pursuit “understanded of the people,” is natural and not to -be condemned. These accept their dreadful fame as a punishment fitting -the crime, and promise atonement by resolving to write no more “dialect -poetry” while stealing is more honorable and indigence more interesting. - -John Hay was a true poet; so is Riley; so is Kipling. In addition to -their panderings to peasants all have written well. At their best they -stir the blood and thrill the nerves of all who can be trusted to feel -because taught to think. Yet the late Charles A. Dana, who for years -successfully posed as a judge of poetry, had at last the indiscretion -to disclose himself by a specific utterance of his taste: he pronounced -Kipling’s “Gunga Din” one of the greatest of English poems! After that -there was no more to say about Dana, but Dana had not the reticence -to say it. Poetry, like any other art, is a matter of manner. If the -manner is that of a clown the matter will not redeem it, but, as the -dyer’s hand is “subdued to what it works in,” will itself be smirched -by its environment. English of the cornfield and the slum is suited to -certain kinds of humor and in moderation may itself be amusing, but it -has no place in serious or sentimental composition, either verse or -prose. Persons writing it confess their peasant understandings, and -those who like “dialect poems” like them because they do not know any -better than to like them, and that’s all there is to it. - -The prose writer whom I have quoted probably does know better, but -prefers to march with the procession. Since he mentions Homer and -Tennyson (to affirm the greater glory of the author of “Little -Breeches” and “Jim Bludso”), perhaps he will permit himself to be asked -if he sees no “unselfish courage” in Hector?—no “sublime devotion” in -Penelope?—none in Enid?—nothing magnanimous in Arthur’s tenderness -to Guinevere? Does he think these noble qualities would shine with a -diviner light in the character of a corn-fed lout of the stables, a -whiskey-sodden riverman or a slattern of the slums? - -The higher virtues are not a discovery of yesterday; they were known as -long ago as last week; and some of us who affect an acquaintance with -antiquity profess to have found traces of them in the poetry of an even -earlier period, before all men began to be born equal. In “the glory -that was Greece and the grandeur that was Rome” there were singing -pigs, as there are to-day, and doubtless they had their special wallows -with mud of a particular brew; but they were not permitted to thrust -their untidy muzzles into the sweet water of the Pierian Spring, turn -it into slime and scatter plenty of it o’er a smiling land. It has -remained for the “fierce democracies” of the Brand-New World to impose -upon letters the law of the Dominion of Dirt. - -The leader of the New Movement is indubitably Mr. James Whitcomb Riley, -and here is an example of his work. It is called “His Pa’s Romance,” -and these two passages are quoted with effusion by one of the “critics”: - - Elsie lisps so, she can’t say - Her own name, ist any way - She says ‘Elthy’—like they wuz - Feathers on her words, an’ they - Ist stuck on her tongue like fuzz. - -How charming!—it affects the sensibilities like the ripple of a rill -of buttermilk falling into a pig-trough. “Ist,” by the way, means (to -an idiot) “just”—it is not easy to say why. Here followeth the other -inspiring passage: - - One time - Elsie start to say the rhyme - “Thing a thong o’ thixpenth”—whee! - I ist yell; an’ ma say I’m - Unpolite as I can be. - -If this is not poetry, what kind of an abysmal imbecility has it the -characteristic distinction to be? Mr. Riley turns off this stuff by -the linear mile, it is received with enthusiasm and reviewed with -acclamation by nearly every “literary critic” in America, and the -peasants whose taste they share and ignorance reflect are generous -enough to give him a living. Think not, observer from another land, -whose eye may chance to note these lines, that all these “dialect -poets” wear smocks and toil in the fields; it is the peculiar glory -of this great country that its peasants wear as good clothing, pursue -as high vocations and talk as glibly about art and literature as -anybody. Say not in your lack of light that the American gentleman has -boorish taste; say, rather, that the American boor has visible signs -of the prosperity of a gentleman, and to an alien eye is not readily -distinguishable from his betters. - - - III - -To put a good thought, a tender sentiment, a passionate emotion into -faulty words is to defile it. Does a precious stone acquire an added -value from a setting of brass? Is a rare and excellent wine better when -drunk out of a gourd? - -In Herman Scheffauer’s first book, _Of Both Worlds_, are two little -poems of such naturalness, simplicity and beauty that I hardly know -of anything better in their kind. My purpose in quoting them here is, -partly, to bring them to the attention of those who may be unfamiliar -with Mr. Scheffauer’s work, but chiefly to suggest to the “dialect -poets” that they undertake to give them an added charm by rewriting -them in their own manner. - - - THE SLEEPERS - - The winds lie hushed in the hill - And the waves upon the seas; - The birds are mute and still, - Deep in their dreaming trees; - The earth lies dumb in night, - And the stars in their degrees - Sleep with the suns in space, - With angels, with seraphs bright, - In the light of God His face. - - Softly lie the heads - Of the sleepers in their beds; - But the sleepers in the ground— - They alone sleep sweet and sound, - They alone know rest profound. - Fear not—soon a rest as deep - Comes to thee—thou, too, shalt sleep. - - - MISERERE - - The last few prayers are done, - The pall and shroud are spread; - Seven tapers at thy feet - And seven at thy head. - - Thy hands are crossed upon - Thy bosom white where now - Thy heart is stilled. O Death, - How beautiful art thou! - - - - - CRIME AND ITS CORRECTIVES - - - I - -Sociologists have long been debating the theory that the impulse to -commit crime is a disease, and the ayes appear to have it—the disease. -It is gratifying and profitable to have the point settled: we now know -where we are and can take our course accordingly. It has for a number -of years been known to all but a few old physicians—survivals from -an exhausted _régime_—that all disease is caused by bacilli, which -worm themselves into the organs that secrete health and enjoin the -performance. The medical conservatives attempt to whittle away the -value and significance of this theory by affirming its inadequacy to -account for such disorders as broken heads, sunstroke, superfluous -toes, home-sickness, burns and strangulation on the gallows; but -against the testimony of so eminent bacteriologists as Drs. Koch and -Pasteur their carping is as that of the idle angler. The bacillus is -not to be denied; he has brought his bedding and is here to stay until -evicted. Doubtless we may confidently expect his eventual eviction by -a fresher and more ingenious disturber of the physiological peace, but -the bacillus is now chief among ten thousand evils and it is futile to -attempt to “read him out of the party.” - -It follows that in order to deal intelligently with the criminal -impulse in our afflicted fellow-citizens we must discover the bacillus -of crime. To that end I think that the bodies of hanged assassins and -such persons of low degree as have been gathered to their fathers by -the cares of public office or consumed by the rust of inactivity in -prison should be handed over to the microscopists for examination. The -bore, too, offers a fine field for research, and might justly enough -be examined alive. Whether there is one general—or as the ancient -and honorable orders prefer to say, “grand”—bacillus, producing a -general (or grand) criminal impulse covering a multitude of sins, or -an infinite number of well-defined and several bacilli, each inciting -to a particular crime, is a question to the determination of which the -most distinguished microscopist might be proud to devote the powers -of his eye. If the latter is the case it will somewhat complicate the -treatment, for clearly the patient afflicted with chronic robbery -will require medicines different from those that might be efficacious -in a gentleman suffering from sporadic theft or a desire to represent -his district in the Assembly. But it is permitted to us to hope that -all crimes, like all arts, are essentially one; that murder, arson and -conservitude are but different symptoms of the same physical disorder, -at the back of which is a microbe vincible to a single medicament, -albeit this awaits discovery. - -In the fascinating theory of the unity of crime we may not unreasonably -hope to find another evidence of the brotherhood of man, another -spiritual bond tending to draw the several classes of society more -closely together. - - - II - -By advocating painless removal of incurable idiots and lunatics, -incorrigible criminals and irreclaimable drunkards from this vale of -tears Dr. W. Duncan McKim provoked many a respectable but otherwise -blameless person to convulsions of great complexity and power. Yet -Dr. McKim seemed only to anticipate the trend of public opinion and -forecast its crystalization into law. It is rapidly becoming a -question, not of what we ought to do with these unfortunates, but what -we shall be compelled to do. Study of the statistics of the matter -shows that in all civilized countries mental and moral diseases are -increasing, proportionately to population, at a rate which in the -course of a few generations will make it impossible for the healthy to -care for the afflicted. To do so will require the entire revenue that -it is possible to raise by taxation—will absorb all the profits of -all the industries and professions and make deeper and deeper inroads -upon the capital from which they are derived. When it comes to that -there can be but one result. High and humanizing sentiments are angel -visitants, whom we entertain with pride and pleasure, but when the -entertainment becomes too costly to be borne we “speed the parting -guest” forthwith. And it may happen that in inviting to his vacant -place a less exacting successor—in replacing sentiment with reason—we -shall, in this instance, learn to our joy that we do but entertain -another angel. For nothing is so heavenly as Reason, nothing so sweet -and compassionate as her voice— - - Not harsh and crabbed, as dull fools suppose, - But musical as is Apollo’s lute. - -Is it cruel, is it heartless, is it barbarous to use something of the -same care in breeding men and women as in breeding horses and dogs? -Here is a determining question: Knowing yourself doomed to hopeless -idiocy, lunacy, crime or drunkenness, would you, or would you not, -welcome a painless death? Let us assume that you would. Upon what -ground, then, would you deny to another a boon that you would desire -for yourself? - - - III - -The good American is, as a rule, pretty hard upon roguery, but he -atones for his austerity by an amiable toleration of rogues. His -only requirement is that he must personally know the rogues. We all -“denounce” thieves loudly enough if we have not the honor of their -acquaintance. If we have, why, that is different—unless they have -the actual odor of the slum or the prison about them. We may know -them guilty, but we meet them, shake hands with them, drink with them -and, if they happen to be wealthy, or otherwise great, invite them -to our houses, and deem it an honor to frequent theirs. We do not -“approve their methods”—let that be understood; and thereby they are -sufficiently punished. The notion that a knave cares a pin what is -thought of his ways by one who is civil and friendly to himself appears -to have been invented by a humorist. On the vaudeville stage of Mars it -would probably have made his fortune. - -I know men standing high in journalism who to-day will “expose” -and bitterly “denounce” a certain rascality and to-morrow will be -hobnobbing with the rascals whom they have named. I know legislators -of renown who habitually raise their voices against the dishonest -schemes of some “trust magnate,” and are habitually seen in familiar -conversation with him. Indubitably these be hypocrites all. Between the -head and the heart of a man of this objectionable kind is a wall of -adamant, and neither knows what the other is doing. - -If social recognition were denied to rogues they would be fewer by -many. Some would only the more diligently cover their tracks along the -devious paths of unrighteousness, but others would do so much violence -to their consciences as to renounce the disadvantages of rascality for -those of an honest life. An unworthy person dreads nothing so much as -the withholding of an honest hand, the slow, inevitable stroke of an -ignoring eye. - -We have rich rogues because we have “respectable” persons who are not -ashamed to take them by the hand, to be seen with them, to say that -they know them. In such it is treachery to censure them; to cry out -when robbed by them is to turn state’s evidence. - -One may smile upon a rascal (most of us do so many times a day) if -one does not know him to be a rascal, and has not said he is; but -knowing him to be, or having said he is, to smile upon him is to be a -hypocrite—just a plain hypocrite or a sycophantic hypocrite, according -to the station in life of the rascal smiled upon. There are more -plain hypocrites than sycophantic ones, for there are more rascals -of no consequence than rich and distinguished ones, though they get -fewer smiles each. The American people will be plundered as long as -the American character is what it is; as long as it is tolerant of -successful knaves; as long as American ingenuity draws an imaginary -distinction between a man’s public character and his private—his -commercial and his personal. In brief, the American people will be -plundered as long as they deserve to be plundered. No human law can -stop it, none ought to stop it, for that would abrogate a higher and -more salutary law: “As ye sow ye shall reap.” - -In a sermon by the Rev. Dr. Parkhurst is the passage following: - -“The story of all our Lord’s dealings with sinners leaves upon the mind -the invariable impression, if only the story be read sympathetically -and earnestly, that He always felt kindly towards the transgressor, -but could have no tenderness of regard toward the transgression. There -is no safe and successful dealing with sin of any kind save as that -distinction is appreciated and made a continual factor in our feelings -and efforts.” - -If Dr. Parkhurst will read his New Testament more understandingly he -will observe that Christ’s kindly feeling to transgressors was not -to be counted on by sinners of every kind, and it was not always in -evidence; for example, when he flogged the moneychangers out of the -temple. Nor is Dr. Parkhurst himself any too amiably disposed toward -the children of darkness. It was not by mild words and gentle means -that he hurled the mighty from their seats and exalted them of low -degree. Such revolutions as he set afoot are not made with spiritual -rosewater; there must be the contagion of a noble indignation fueled -with harder wood than abstractions. The people can not be mustered and -incited to action by the spectacle of a man fighting something that -does not fight back. It was men that Dr. Parkhurst was trouncing—not -their crimes—not Crime. He may fancy himself “dowered with the hate of -hate, the scorn of scorn,” but in reality he does not hate hate but -hates the hateful, and scorns, not scorn but the scornworthy. - -It is singular with what tenacity this amusing though mischievous -superstition keeps its hold upon the human mind—this grave, _bona fide_ -personification of abstractions and the funny delusion that it is -possible to hate or love them. Sin is not a thing; there is no existing -object corresponding to any of the mere counter-words that are properly -named abstract nouns. One can no more hate sin or love virtue than -one can hate a vacuum (which Nature—itself imaginary—was once by the -scientists of the period solemnly held to do) or love one of the three -dimensions. We may think that while loving a sinner we hate the sin, -but that is not so; if anything is hated it is other sinners of the -same kind, who are not quite so close to us. - -The French have a saying to the effect that to know all is to pardon -all; and doubtless with an omniscient insight into the causes of -character we should find the field of moral responsibility pretty -thickly strewn with extenuating circumstances very suitable indeed -for consideration by a god who has had a hand in besetting “with -pitfall and with gin” the road we are to “wander in.” But I submit -that universal forgiveness would hardly do as a working principle. -Even those who are most apt and facile with the incident of the woman -taken in adultery commonly cherish a secret respect for the doctrine of -eternal damnation; and some of them are known to pin their faith to the -penal code of their state. Moreover, there is some reason to believe -that the sinning woman, being “taken,” was penitent—they usually are -when found out. - -“But,” says Citizen Goodheart, who thinks with difficulty, “shall I -throw over my friend when he is ‘in trouble’?” Yes, when convinced that -he deserves to be in trouble; throw him all the harder and the further -because he is your friend. In addition to his particular offense -against society he has disgraced _you_. If there are to be lenity and -charity let them go to the criminal who has foreborne to involve you -in his shame. It were a pretty state of affairs if an undetected scamp, -fearing exposure, could make you a co-defendant by so easy a precaution -as securing your acquaintance and regard. Don’t throw the first stone, -of course, but when convinced that your friend is a proper target, -heave away with a right hearty good-will, and let the stone be of -serviceable weight and delivered with a good aim. - -I care nothing for principles—they are lumber and rubbish. What -concerns our happiness and welfare, as affectable by our fellowmen, is -conduct. “Principles, not men,” is a rogue’s cry; rascality’s counsel -to stupidity, the noise of the duper duping on his dupe. He shouts -it most loudly and with the keenest sense of its advantage who most -desires inattention to his own conduct, or to that forecast of it, -his character. As to sin, that has an abundance of expounders and is -already universally known to be wicked. What more can be said against -it, and why go on repeating that? The thing is a trifle wordworn, -whereas the sinner cometh up as a flower every day, fresh, ingenuous -and inviting. Sin is not at all dangerous to society; what does all the -mischief is the sinner. Crime has no arms to thrust into the public -treasury and the private; no hands with which to cut a throat; no -tongue to wreck a reputation withal. I would no more attack it than I -would attack an isosceles triangle, or Hume’s “phantasm floating in a -void.” My chosen enemy must be something that has a skin for my switch, -a head for my cudgel—something that can smart and ache. I have no -quarrel with abstractions; so far as I know they are all good citizens. - - - - - ON KNOWING ONE’S BUSINESS—AN INSTANCE - - -No series of connected and consecutive military events has been so -closely analyzed by military students as those marking the first -Italian campaign of Napoleon Bonaparte. All expounders of the military -art who have had the good fortune to live since its principles were -so wonderfully illustrated by that campaign have delighted to use its -incidents in exposition. Every student has early learned that he could -not afford to neglect it. Even to the “general reader,” unacquainted -with the mysteries of strategy and tactics, who in the darkness of his -ignorance cherishes the error that war is fortuitous fighting loosely -directed to results by physical courage and the will of God, the -history of these brilliant operations can hardly fail, when lucidly -related, to prove interesting and charming beyond the power of fiction. -As related by the mere “historian,” with his port-fire and blood-fumes -to emotionalize the situation, it is doubtless as dull reading as -the literature of the heart generally. What, in brief, _was_ this -remarkable campaign? - -In the month of March, 1796, Bonaparte, a boy of twenty-six, untried in -independent command, was intrusted with an army of some forty thousand -badly clad and inadequately supplied men, with which to invade Italy. -He was opposed by Beaulieu, with a well equipped force, Austrians and -Sardinians, of fifty thousand. The Alps and Apennines were between. -Bonaparte began active operations on the eleventh day of April, 1796. -On the seventh day of April, 1797, at Leoben, near Vienna, he received -the Austrian Emperor’s emissaries, who came to sue for peace, and the -war was at an end. During this period of one year less four days, -with forces averaging forty-six thousand opposed to forces averaging -sixty-one thousand he had in fifteen pitched battles routed one -Sardinian army and the six Austrian armies successively sent to drive -him out of Italy, only to be driven out themselves. His losses during -the campaign in killed, wounded and prisoners were about equal to the -numbers of his army at the outset. The losses that he inflicted upon -the enemy were no fewer than one hundred and twenty thousand men and -vast quantities of _material_. - -How were these astonishing feats of arms performed? Not by the superior -courage of his soldiers, for the Austrians then, as they are now, -were a brave and warlike people. Not by the “will of God,” whose -agency is to the military eye nowhere discernible, and whose political -predilections are still unknown. Nor were these admirable results due -to “luck,” the “favors of fortune,” the “magic” of genius. They were -brought about by the very commonplace method of knowing his business -thoroughly and applying the knowledge. There is nothing miraculous in -that. It is an open secret which Napoleon himself has explained: - -“In war nothing is accomplished but by calculation. During a campaign, -whatever is not profoundly considered in all its details is without -result. Every enterprise should be systematically conducted; chance -alone can not bring success.” - -I should be sorry to be understood as affirming the possibility of such -military success as Napoleon’s to the mere student of military art, -devoid of Napoleon’s genius. On the other hand, Napoleon’s genius would -have been futile without his mastery of the art. Military art is no -exception to art in general; for eminent achievement is required great -natural aptitude, _plus_ a comprehensive and minute knowledge of the -business in hand. Given these two requisites in the commander, and the -army is multiplied by two. For many generations, doubtless, the French -will boast of Montenotte, Marengo, Austerlitz, Jena, and Wagram; but -every intelligent soldier’s view is that on all these historic fields -there was but one victor. To quote his words again: - -“It was not the Roman army that conquered Gaul, but Cæsar; it was not -the Carthaginian army which, at the gates of Rome, made the Eternal -City tremble, but Hannibal; it was not the Macedonian army that marched -as far as the Indus, but Alexander; it was not the Prussian army that -defended Prussia for seven years against the three most powerful states -of Europe, but Frederick.” - -The contrary view—the theory of the insignificance of the individual—so -persistently urged a generation ago by Mill, and so eagerly accepted by -the young philosophers of his period, derives no support from military -history. Tolstoi, it is true, is in full, if somewhat belated, -advocacy of it, and professes to find confirmation in the events that -he relates in his military novels. And it must be confessed that, as -he relates them, they indubitably do seem to justify his view that -leaders do not truly lead. With the splendid irresponsibility of the -fictionist, he shows that the French people having incurred, somehow, -a blind, reasonless impulse to go gadding about Europe, caught up -Napoleon, as a stream bursting out of its banks might catch up a -sheep or a log, and pushed him along before them. A careful study of -the progress through Italy will, I think, show that at least he did -something toward reducing the friction incident to the movement. - -Any one really believing in unimportance of the individual must be -prepared to affirm that a chance bullet finding a lodgment in the brain -of the commander of the Army of Italy at Montenotte would have made but -little difference in the conduct of the campaign and the later history -of Europe; and any one prepared to affirm this may justly boast himself -impregnable to argument, through induration of the understanding. - -The history of the military operations that we have been considering -has never been better told than in a book entitled _Napoleon -Bonaparte’s First Campaign_—it should be remembered that he was then -simply General Bonaparte. The author of the book is Lieutenant Herbert -H. Sargent,[1] of the Army. Nothing could well exceed the clarity with -which the author has told his story; and nothing that I have seen -in military literature is more admirable than his professional but -untechnical comments on its successive stages. Everything is made so -clear that the benighted civilian of the anti-West Point sort, the -fearfully and wonderfully bepistoled swashbuckler of the frontier, the -gilded whiskey-soldier of the National Guard and even the self-taught -strategist of the press can comprehend it all without a special -revelation from Heaven. Those conscious of a desire, however vague and -formless, to acquire such a knowledge of military science and art as -will give them a keener interest in “war news” that is not “bluggy” -than they ever had in that which reeks with gore and “multiplies the -slain” will find in Lieutenant Sargent a guide, philosopher and friend -for whom they cannot be sufficiently thankful to the God that bestowed -him. - -1895. - -[1] After distinguished service as colonel of volunteers in the Cuban - and Philippine wars, this great soldier is now retired as major in - the regular army. Before retirement he published two other books, - _The Campaign of Marengo_ and _The Campaign of Santiago de Cuba_, - both characterized by all the qualities so conspicuous in his - first book—qualities that are themselves a fine result of “knowing - one’s business.” - - 1912. - - - - - A TRADE OF REFUGE - - -There is no security—even the life of a steeple-climber is held by a -precarious tenure. One cannot always be clinging to a spire in “the -intense inane;” one must sometimes descend to “this place of wrath -and tears” in order to eat and write poetry for the newspapers; and -then the manifold perils besetting a surface existence begin their -deadly work, and man that is born of woman is of few days and full of -surprises. - -Once upon a time, ’tis said, a foolhardy steeple-jack took his life -in his hands and ventured down among us. Doubtless he wanted but -little here below; certainly he did not want that little long, for he -made acquaintance with a trolley car and passed away forthwith. If -in the moment of disaster “beneath thy wheels, O Juggernath,” it was -granted to him to hear the comforting “I told you so” of some fellow -craftsman in midheaven, how acutely he must have sympathized with us -unfortunates condemned to dwell in the midst of alarms from the cradle -to the grave! - -Our hard lot must have touched him nearly; participation in its -disadvantages must have brought it home to his business and bosom with -a more compelling compassion than that of the tempest-tossed mariner -who prays, “God help the poor devils on shore such a night as this!” -In the consciousness of that sympathy—transient though it necessarily -had to be—let us take heart and hope, to confront the perils of our -environment. Let us walk our appointed ways among them with no less -circumspection, but a superior resignation. - -We cannot all be steeple-climbers. We cannot all go down to the sea in -ships and know - - The exulting sense, the pulse’s maddening play, - That thrill the wanderer on the trackless way - -as he reflects on his immunity from the insistent vehicle, the stealthy -sewer gas, the subterranean steam boiler, the Conqueror Dog and all the -other maleficent agencies unknown to a life on the ocean wave. - -Some there must be to till the soil (mostly malarial), some to hold -the offices, some to feed the dogs, some to tear up the streets, -and many—oh, so many!—to write poetry for the magazines. Ships must -be built for the happy, happy mariner, and steeples to exalt the -prudent climber above the perilous region of industrial discontent. -The timorous aviator, in pursuit of longevity must be supplied -with his apparatus. By rustic and urban industries soldiers must -be maintained in the security of service _in partibus infidelium_ -where the devastating open coalhole comes not to execute its prank, -and missionaries outfitted to grasp the longevital advantages of -labor among the cannibals. In the formation of trusts to bring the -producer and consumer together in the poor-house we must toil in -the pestilential atmosphere of Wall Street. The necessity of making -“elevators” to dispose of the surplus population in our congested -cities is imperious. - -Most of these needful activities have to be conducted on the surface -of the land, amidst the horrors of peace and the deadly devices of an -advanced civilization. It requires the greater and more courageous -part of the population to carry them on; only a few shrinking souls -can afford to seek safety on the steeples. But the lives of these -have a peculiar value to the millions engaged in the perilous trades -that go on below them. They are survivals of the time that was, -forerunners of the time to be. They serve to remind us of that blessed -barbarism—that golden age when our sylvan forefather gave himself a -chance to live out half his life; and in this dark period of transition -they foreshadow that brighter and better time when the land will be -studded with abundant steeples of refuge for all excepting condemned -criminals and enough ruffian officers of the law to operate, for their -extinction, a few of the more deadly appliances and modern conveniences -of civilization. - -The steeple-jack is a precious possession—let him not be cast out. In -order that he may not be compelled to incur the perils of the street, -let him be clothed and fed with a kite. - - - - - THE DEATH PENALTY - - - I - -“Down with the gallows!” is a cry not unfamiliar in America. There is -always a movement afoot to make odious the just principle of “a life -for a life”—to represent it as “a relic of barbarism,” “a usurpation -of the divine authority,” and the rest of it. The law making murder -punishable by death is as purely a measure of self-defense as is the -display of a pistol to one diligently endeavoring to kill without -provocation. It is in precisely the same sense an admonition, a warning -to abstain from crime. Society says by that law: “If you kill one of us -you die,” just as by display of the pistol the individual whose life -is attacked says: “Desist or be shot.” To be effective the warning in -either case must be more than an idle threat. Even the most unearthly -reasoner among the anti-hanging unfortunates would hardly expect to -frighten away an assassin who knew the pistol to be unloaded. Of -course these queer illogicians can not be made to understand that -their position commits them to absolute non-resistance to any kind -of aggression; and that is fortunate for the rest of us, for if as -Christians they frankly and consistently took that ground we should be -under the miserable necessity of respecting them. - -We have good reason to hold that the horrible prevalence of murder in -this country is due to the fact that we do not execute our laws—that -the death penalty is threatened but not inflicted—that the pistol -is not loaded. In civilized countries where there is enough respect -for the laws to administer them, there is enough to obey them. While -man still has as much of the ancestral brute as his skin can hold -without cracking we shall have thieves and demagogues and anarchists -and assassins and persons with a private system of lexicography who -define murder as disease and hanging as murder, but in all this welter -of crime and stupidity are areas where human life is comparatively -secure against the human hand. It is at least a significant coincidence -that in these the death penalty for murder is fairly well enforced by -judges who do not derive any part of their authority from those for -whose restraint and punishment they hold it. Against the life of one -guiltless person the lives of ten thousand murderers count for nothing; -their hanging is a public good, without reference to the crimes that -disclose their deserts. If we could discover them by other signs than -their bloody deeds they should be hanged anyhow. Unfortunately we -must have a death as evidence. The scientist who will tell us how to -recognize the potential assassin, and persuade us to kill him, will be -the greatest benefactor of his century. - -What would these enemies of the gibbet have?—these lineal descendants -of the drunken mobs that hooted the hangman at Tyburn Tree; this -progeny of criminals, which has so defiled with the mud of its -animosity the noble office of public executioner that even “in this -enlightened age” he shirks his high duty, entrusting it to a hidden -or unnamed subordinate? If murder is unjust of what importance is it -whether its punishment by death be just or not?—nobody needs to incur -it. Men are not drafted for the death penalty; they volunteer. “Then it -is not deterrent,” mutters the gentleman whose rude forefather hooted -the hangman. Well, as to that, the law which is to accomplish more -than a part of its purpose must be awaited with great patience. Every -murder proves that hanging is not altogether deterrent; every hanging, -that it is somewhat deterrent—it deters the person hanged. A man’s -first murder is his crime, his second is ours. - -The socialists, it seems, believe with Alphonse Karr, in the expediency -of abolishing the death penalty; but apparently they do not hold, with -him, that the assassins should begin. They want the state to begin, -believing that the magnanimous example will effect a change of heart -in those about to murder. This, I take it, is the meaning of their -assertion that death penalties have not the deterring influence that -imprisonment for life carries. In this they obviously err: death -deters at least the person who suffers it—he commits no more murder; -whereas the assassin who is imprisoned for life and immune from -further punishment may with impunity kill his keeper or whomsoever he -may be able to get at. Even as matters now are, incessant vigilance -is required to prevent convicts in prison from murdering their -attendants and one another. How would it be if the “life-termer” were -assured against any additional inconvenience for braining a guard -occasionally, or strangling a chaplain now and then? A penitentiary may -be described as a place of punishment and reward; and under the system -proposed, the difference in desirableness between a sentence and an -appointment would be virtually effaced. To overcome this objection a -life sentence would have to mean solitary confinement, and that means -insanity. Is that what these gentlemen propose to substitute for death? - -The death penalty, say these amiables and futilitarians, creates -blood-thirstiness in the unthinking masses and defeats its own ends—is -itself a cause of murder, not a check. These gentlemen are themselves -of “the unthinking masses”—they do not know how to think. Let them try -to trace and lucidly expound the chain of motives lying between the -knowledge that a murderer has been hanged and the wish to commit a -murder. How, precisely, does the one beget the other? By what unearthly -process of reasoning does a man turning away from the gallows persuade -himself that it is expedient to incur the danger of hanging? Let us -have pointed out to us the several steps in that remarkable mental -progress. Obviously, the thing is absurd; one might as reasonably say -that contemplation of a pitted face will make a man wish to go and -catch smallpox, or the spectacle of an amputated limb on the scrap-heap -of a hospital tempt him to cut off his arm or renounce his leg. - -“An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,” say the opponents of -the death penalty, “is not justice; it is revenge and unworthy of -a Christian civilization.” It is exact justice: nobody can think -of anything more accurately just than such punishments would be, -whatever the motive in awarding them. Unfortunately such a system is -not practicable, but he who denies its justice must deny also the -justice of a bushel of corn for a bushel of corn, a dollar for a -dollar, service for service. We can not undertake by such clumsy means -as laws and courts to do to the criminal exactly what he has done to -his victim, but to demand a life for a life is simple, practicable, -expedient and (therefore) right. - -“Taking the life of a murderer does not restore the life he took, -therefore it is a most illogical punishment. Two wrongs do not make a -right.” - -Here’s richness! Hanging an assassin is illogical because it does not -restore the life of his victim; incarceration is logical; therefore, -incarceration does—_quod erat demonstrandum_. - -Two wrongs certainly do not make a right, but the veritable thing in -dispute is whether taking the life of a life-taker is a wrong. So -naked and unashamed an example of _petitio principii_ would disgrace a -debater in a pinafore. And these wonder-mongers have the effrontery to -babble of “logic”! Why, if one of them were to meet a syllogism in a -lonely road he would run away in a hundred and fifty directions as hard -as ever he could hook it. One is almost ashamed to dispute with such -intellectual cloutlings. - -Whatever an individual may rightly do to protect himself society may -rightly do to protect him, for he is a part of itself. If he may -rightly take life in defending himself society may rightly take life in -defending him. If society may rightly take life in defending him it may -rightly threaten to take it. Having rightly and mercifully threatened -to take it, it not only rightly may take it, but expediently must. - - - II - -The law of a life for a life does not altogether prevent murder. No -law can altogether prevent any form of crime, nor is it desirable -that it should. Doubtless God could so have created us that our sense -of right and justice could have existed without contemplation of -injustice and wrong; as doubtless he could so have created us that -we could have felt compassion without a knowledge of suffering; but -he did not. Constituted as we are, we can know good only by contrast -with evil. Our sense of sin is what our virtues feed upon; in the thin -air of universal morality the altar-fires of honor and the beacons of -conscience could not be kept alight. A community without crime would be -a community without warm and elevated sentiments—without the sense of -justice, without generosity, without courage, without mercy, without -magnanimity—a community of small, smug souls, uninteresting to God and -uncoveted by the Devil. We can have, and do have, too much of crime, -no doubt; what the wholesome proportion is none can say. Just now we -are running a good deal to murder, but he who can gravely attribute -that phenomenon, or any part of it, to infliction of the death penalty, -instead of to virtual immunity from any penalty at all, is justly -entitled to the innocent satisfaction that comes of being a simpleton. - - - III - -The New Woman is against the death penalty, naturally, for she is -hot and hardy in the conviction that whatever is is wrong. She has -visited this world in order to straighten things about a bit, and is -in distress lest the number of things be insufficient to her need. -The matter is important variously; not least so in its relation to -the new heaven and the new earth that are to be the outcome of woman -suffrage. There can be no doubt that the vast majority of women have -sentimental objections to the death penalty that quite outweigh such -practical considerations in its favor as they can be persuaded to -comprehend. Aided by the minority of men afflicted by the same mental -malady, they will indubitably effect its abolition in the first lustrum -of their political “equality.” The New Woman will scarcely feel the -seat of power warm beneath her before giving to the assassin’s “unhand -me, villain!” the authority of law. So we shall make again the old -experiment, discredited by a thousand failures, of preventing crime by -tenderness to caught criminals. And the criminal uncaught will treat us -to a quantity and quality of crime notably augmented by the Christian -spirit of the new _régime_. - - - IV - -As to painless executions, the simple and practical way to make them -both just and expedient is the adoption by murderers of a system of -painless assassinations. Until this is done there seems to be no -call to renounce the wholesome discomfort of the style of executions -endeared to us by memories and associations of the tenderest character. -There is, I fancy, a shaping notion in the observant mind that the -penologists and their allies have gone about as far as they can safely -be permitted to go in the direction of a softer suasion of the criminal -nature toward good behavior. The modern prison has become a rather more -comfortable habitation than the dangerous classes are accustomed to at -home. Modern prison life has in their eyes something of the charm and -glamor of an ideal existence, like that in the Happy Valley from which -Rasselas had the folly to escape. Whatever advantages to the public may -be secured by abating the rigors of imprisonment and inconveniences -incident to execution, there is this objection: it makes them less -deterrent. Let the penologers and philanthropers have their way and -even hanging might be made so pleasant and withal so interesting a -social distinction that it would deter nobody but the person hanged. -Adopt the euthanasian method of electricity, asphyxia by smothering in -rose-leaves, or slow poisoning with rich food, and the death penalty -may come to be regarded as the object of a noble ambition to the _bon -vivant_, and the rising young suicide may go and kill somebody else -instead of himself, in order to receive from the public executioner a -happier dispatch than his own ’prentice hand can assure him. - -But the advocates of agreeable pains and penalties tell us that in the -darker ages, when cruel and degrading punishment was the rule, and was -freely inflicted for every light infraction of the law, crime was more -common than it is now; and in this they appear to be right. But one and -all, they overlook a fact equally obvious and vastly significant: that -the intellectual, moral and social condition of the masses was very -low. Crime was more common because ignorance was more common, poverty -was more common, sins of authority, and therefore hatred of authority, -were more common. The world of even a century ago was a different world -from the world of to-day, and a vastly more uncomfortable one. The -popular adage to the contrary notwithstanding, human nature was not -by a long cut the same then that it is now. In the very ancient time -of that early English king, George III, when women were burned at the -stake in public for various offenses and men were hanged for “coining” -and children for theft, and in the still remoter period, (_circa_ 1530) -when poisoners were boiled in several waters, divers sorts of criminals -were disemboweled and some are thought to have undergone the _peine -forte et dure_ of cold-pressing (an infliction which the pen of Hugo -has since made popular—in literature),—in these wicked old days crime -flourished, not because of the law’s severity, but in spite of it. It -is possible that our lawmaking ancestors understood the situation as it -then was a trifle better than we can understand it on the hither side -of this gulf of years, and that they were not the reasonless barbarians -that we think them to have been. And if they were, what must have been -the unreason and barbarity of the criminal element with which they had -to deal? - -I am far from thinking that severity of punishment can have the same -restraining effect as probability of some punishment being inflicted; -but if mildness of penalty is to be superadded to difficulty of -conviction, and both are to be mounted upon laxity in detection, the -pile will be complete indeed. There is a peculiar fitness, perhaps, -in the fact that all these pleas for comfortable punishment should -be urged at a time when there appears to be a general disposition -to inflict no punishment at all. There are, however, still a few -old-fashioned persons who hold it obvious that one who is ambitious to -break the laws of his country will not with so light a heart and so -airy an indifference incur the peril of a harsh penalty as he will the -chance of one more nearly resembling that which he would himself select. - - - V - -After lying for more than a century dead I was revived, dowered with a -new body, and restored to society. The first thing of interest that I -observed was an enormous building, covering a square mile of ground. -It was surrounded on all sides by a high, strong wall of hewn stone -upon which armed sentinels paced to and fro. In one face of the wall -was a single gate of massive iron, strongly guarded. While admiring the -cyclopean architecture of the “reverend pile” I was accosted by a man -in uniform, evidently the warden, with a cheerful salutation. - -“Colonel,” I said, “pray tell me what is this building.” - -“This,” said he, “is the new state penitentiary. It is one of twelve, -all alike.” - -“You surprise me,” I replied. “Surely the criminal element must have -increased enormously.” - -“Yes, indeed,” he assented; “under the Reform _régime_, which began -in your day, crime became so powerful, bold and fierce that arrests -were no longer possible and the prisons then in existence were soon -overcrowded. The state was compelled to erect others of greater -capacity.” - -“But, Colonel,” I protested, “if the criminals were too bold and -powerful to be taken into custody, of what use are the prisons? And how -are they crowded?” - -He fixed upon me a look that I could not fail to interpret as -expressing a doubt of my sanity. “What!” he said, “is it possible that -the modern penology is unknown to you? Do you suppose we practise the -antiquated and ineffective method of shutting up the rascals? Sir, the -growth of the criminal element has, as I said, compelled the erection -of more and larger prisons. We have enough to hold comfortably all the -honest men and women of the state. Within these protecting walls they -carry on all the necessary vocations of life excepting commerce. That -is necessarily in the hands of the rogues, as before.” - -“Venerated representative of Reform,” I exclaimed, wringing his hand -with effusion, “you are Knowledge, you are History, you are the Higher -Education! We must talk further. Come, let us enter this benign -edifice; you shall show me your dominion and instruct me in the rules. -You shall propose me as an inmate.” - -I walked rapidly to the gate. When challenged by the sentinel, I turned -to summon my instructor. He was nowhere visible. I turned again to look -at the prison. Nothing was there: desolate and forbidding, as about the -broken statue of Ozymandias, - -The lone and level sands stretched far away. - - - - - RELIGION - - - I - -This is my ultimate and determining test of right—“What, in the -circumstances, would Jesus have done?”—the Jesus of the New Testament, -not the Jesus of the commentators, theologians, priests and parsons. -The test is perhaps not infallible, but it is exceedingly simple -and gives as good practical results as any. I am not a Christian, -but so far as I know, the best and truest and sweetest character in -literature, next to Buddha, is Jesus Christ. He taught nothing new -in goodness, for all goodness was ages old before he came; but with -an almost infallible intuition he applied to life and conduct the -entire law of righteousness. He was a moral lightning calculator: to -his luminous intelligence the statement of the problem carried the -solution—he could not hesitate, he seldom erred. That upon his deeds -and words was founded a religion which in a debased form persists -and even spreads to this day is attestation of his marvelous gift: -adoration is merely a primitive form of approval. - -It seems a pity that this wonderful man had not a longer life under -more complex conditions—conditions more nearly resembling those of -the modern world and of the future. One would like to be able to see, -through the eyes of his biographers, his genius applied to more and -other difficult questions. Yet one can hardly go wrong in inference -of his thought and act. In many of the complexities and entanglements -of modern affairs it is no easy matter to find an answer off-hand to -the question, “What is it right to do?” But put it in another way: -“What would Christ have done?” and lo! there is light! Doubt spreads -her bat-like wings and is away; the sun of truth springs into the sky, -splendoring the path of right and masking that of wrong with a deeper -shade. - - - II - -Gentlemen of the secular press dealt with the Rev. Mr. Sheldon not -altogether fairly. To some very relevant considerations they gave no -weight. It was not fair, for example, to say, as the distinguished -editor of the _North American Review_ did, that in conducting a daily -newspaper for a week as he conceived that Christ would have conducted -it, Mr. Sheldon acted the part of “a notoriety seeking mountebank.” It -seldom is fair to go into the question of motive, for that is something -upon which one has the least light, even when the motive is one’s own. -The motives that dominate us we think simple and obvious; they are in -most instances exceedingly complex and obscure. Complacently surveying -the wreck and ruin that he has wrought, even that great anarch, the -well-meaning person, can not have entire assurance that he meant as -well as the disastrous results appear to him to show. - -The trouble with the editor of the _Review_ was inability to put -himself in another’s place if that happened to be at any considerable -distance from his own place. He made no allowance for the difference -in the point of view—for the difference, that is, between his mind -and the mind of Mr. Sheldon. If the editor had undertaken to conduct -a newspaper as Christ would have done he would indeed have been “a -notoriety seeking mountebank,” or some similarly unenviable thing, for -only a selfish purpose could persuade him to an obviously resultless -work. But Mr. Sheldon was different—his was the religious mind—a mind -having faith in an “overruling” Providence who can, and frequently -does, interfere with the orderly relation of cause and effect, -accomplishing an end by means otherwise inadequate to its production. -Believing himself a faithful servant of that Power, and asking daily -for His interposition in promotion of a highly moral purpose, why -should he not have expected His favor to the enterprise? To expect -this was, in Mr. Sheldon, natural, reasonable, wise; his folly lay in -believing in conditions making it expectable. A person convinced that -the law of gravitation is suspended is no fool for walking into a bog. -His critic may understand, but Mr. Sheldon could not understand, that -Jesus Christ would not edit a newspaper at all. - -The religious mind, it should be understood, is not logical. It may -acquire, as Whateley’s did, a certain familiarity with the syllogism -as an abstraction, but of the syllogism’s practical application, its -real relation to the phenomena of thought, the religious mind can know -nothing. That is merely to say that a mind congenitally gifted with the -power of logic and accessible to its light and leading does not take -to religion, which is a matter, not of reason, but of feeling—not of -the head, but of the heart. Religions are conclusions for which the -facts of nature supply no major premises. They are accepted or rejected -according to the original mental make-up of the person to whom they -appeal for recognition. Believers and unbelievers are like two boys -quarreling across a wall. Each got to his place by means of a ladder. -They may fight if they will, but neither can kick away the other’s -support. - -Believing the things that he did believe, Mr. Sheldon was right in -thinking that the main purpose of a newspaper should be the salvation -of souls. If his religious belief is true that should be the main -purpose, not only of a newspaper, but of everything that has a purpose, -or can be given one. If we have immortal souls and the consequences of -our deeds in the body reach over into another life in another world, -determining there our eternal state of happiness or pain, this is the -most momentous fact conceivable. A man who, believing this to be a -fact, does not make it the one purpose of his life to save his soul -and the souls of others that are willing to be saved is a rogue. If he -think that any part of this only needful work can be done by turning a -newspaper into a pulpit he ought to do so or (preferably) perish in the -attempt. - -The talk of degrading the sacred name, and all that, is mostly -nonsense. If one may not test his conduct in this life by reference to -the highest standard that his religion supplies it is not easy to see -how religion is to be made anything but a mere body of doctrine. I do -not think the Christian religion will ever be seriously discredited -by an attempt to determine, even with too dim a light, what, under -given circumstances, the man miscalled its “founder” would do. What -else is his great example good for? But it is not always enough to ask -oneself, “How would Christ do this?” One should first consider whether -Christ would do it. It is conceivable that certain of his thrifty -contemporaries may have asked him how he would change money in the -Temple. - -If Mr. Sheldon’s critics were unfair his defenders were, as a rule, not -much better. They meant to be fair, but they had to be foolish. For -example, there is the Rev. Dr. Parkhurst, whose defense was published -with the _Review’s_ attack. I shall give a single illustration of how -this more celebrated than cerebrated “divine” is pleased to think -that he thinks. He is replying to some one’s application to this -matter of Christ’s injunction, “Lay not up for yourselves treasures -on earth.” This command, he gravely says, “is not against money, nor -against the making of money, but against the loving it for its own -sake and the dedicating of it to self-aggrandizing uses.” I call this -a foolish utterance, because it violates the good old rule of not -telling an obvious falsehood. In no word nor syllable does Christ’s -injunction give the least color of truth to the reverend gentleman’s -“interpretation;” that is the reverend gentleman’s very own, and -doubtless he feels an honest pride in it. It is the product of a -controversial need—a characteristic attempt to creep out of a hole -in an enclosure which he was not invited to enter. The words need no -“interpretation;” are susceptible to none; are as clear and unambiguous -a proposition as language can frame. Moreover, they are consistent -with all that we think we know of their author’s life and character, -for he not only lived in poverty and taught poverty as a blessing, but -commanded it as a duty and a means to salvation. The probable effect -of universal obedience among those who adore him as a god is not at -present an urgent question. I think even so faithful a disciple as -the Rev. Dr. Parkhurst has still a place to lay his head, a little -of the wherewithal to be clothed, and a good deal of the power of -interpretation to excuse it. - - - III - -There are other hypocrites than those of the pulpit. Dr. Gatling, the -ingenious scoundrel who invented the gun that bears his name with -commendable fortitude, says he has given much thought to the task of -bringing the forces of war to such perfection that war will be no -more. Commonly the man who talks of war becoming so destructive as to -be impossible is only a harmless lunatic, but this fellow utters his -cant to conceal his cupidity. If he thought there was any danger of -the nations beating their swords into plowshares we should see him -“take the stump” against agriculture forthwith. The same is true of -all military inventors. They are lions’ parasites; themselves of cold -blood, they fatten upon hot. The sheep-tick’s paler fare is not at all -to their taste. - -I sometimes wish that I were a preacher: preachers do so blindly -ignore their shining opportunities. I am indifferently versed in -theology—whereof, so help me Heaven, I do not believe one word—but -know something of religion. I know, for example, that Jesus Christ -was no soldier; that war has two features which did not command his -approval—usually: aggression and defense. He taught not only abstention -from aggression but non-resistance. Now what do we see? Nearly all the -so-called Christian nations of the world sweating and groaning under -their burden of debt contracted in violation of these injunctions which -they believe divine—contracted in perfecting their means of offense and -defense. “We must have the best,” they cry; and if armor plates for -ships were better when alloyed with silver, and guns if banded with -gold, such armor plates would be put upon the ships, such guns would -be freely made. No sooner does one nation adopt some costly device for -taking life or protecting it from the taker (and inventors will as -readily sell the product of their malign ingenuity to one nation as to -another) than all the rest either possess themselves of it, or adopt -something superior and more expensive; and so all pay the penalty for -the sins of each. A hundred million dollars is a moderate estimate -of what it has cost the world to abstain from strangling the infant -Gatling in his cradle. - -You may say, if you will, that primitive Christianity—the Christianity -of Christ—is not adapted to these rough-and-tumble times; that it is -not a practical scheme of conduct. As you please; I have not undertaken -to say what it is not, but what it partly is. I am no Christian, though -I think that Christ probably knew what was good for man about as well -as Dr. Gatling or the United States Ordnance Office. It is not for me -to defend Christianity; Christ did not. Nevertheless, I can not forbear -the wish that I were a preacher, in order sincerely to affirm that -the awful burdens borne by modern nations are obvious judgments of -Heaven for disobedience to the Prince of Peace. What a striking theme -to kindle fires upon the heights of imagination—to fill the secret -sources of eloquence—to stir the very stones in the temple of truth! -What a noble subject for the pious gentlemen who serve (with rank, pay -and allowances) as chaplains in the army and the navy, or the civilian -divines who offer prayer at the launching of an ironclad! - - - IV - -A matter of missionaries commonly is to the fore as a cause of quarrel -with nations which have the hardihood to prefer their own religions -to ours. Missionaries constitute, in truth, a perpetual menace to -peace. I dare say the most of them are conscientious men and women -of a certain order of intellect. They believe, and from the way that -they interpret their sacred book have some reason to believe, that in -meddling uninvited with the spiritual affairs of others they perform -a work acceptable to God—their God. They think they discern a moral -difference between “approaching” a man of another religion about the -state of his soul and approaching him on the condition of his linen or -the character of his wife. I think there is a difference; but I have -observed that the person who volunteers an interest in my spiritual -welfare is the same person from whom I must expect an impudent concern -about my temporal affairs. - -No ruler nor government of sense would willingly permit foreigners to -sap the foundation of the national religion. No ruler nor government -ever does permit it except under stress of compulsion. It is through -the people’s religion that a wise government governs wisely—even in -our own country we make only a transparent pretense of officially -ignoring Christianity, and a pretense only because we have so many -kinds of Christians, all jealous and inharmonious. Each sect would -make a Theocracy if it could, and would then make short work of any -missionary from abroad. Happily all religions but ours have the sloth -and timidity of error; Christianity alone, drawing vigor from eternal -truth, is courageous enough and energetic enough to make itself a -nuisance to people of every other faith. The Jew not only does not bid -for converts, but discourages them by imposition of hard conditions; -and the Moslem’s simple, forthright method of reducing error is to -cut off the head holding it. I don’t say that this is right; I say -only that, being practical and comprehensible, it commands a certain -respect from the impartial observer not conversant with scriptural -justification of a less natural practice. - -It is only where the missionaries have made themselves hated that there -is any molestation of Europeans engaged in the affairs of this world. -Chinese antipathy to Caucasians in China is neither a racial animosity -nor a religious; it is an instinctive dislike of persons who will not -mind their own business. China has been infested with missionaries from -the earliest centuries of our era, and they have rarely been molested -when they have taken the trouble to behave themselves. (In the time of -the Emperor Justinian the fact that the Christian religion was openly -preached throughout China enabled that sovereign to wrest from the -Chinese the jealously-guarded secret of silk-making. He sent two monks -to Pekin, who alternately preached seriousness and studied sericulture, -and brought away silkworms’ eggs concealed in sticks.) - -In religious matters the Chinese are more tolerant than we. They let -the religions of others alone, but naturally and rightly demand that -others shall let theirs alone. In China, as in other Oriental countries -where the color line is not drawn and where slavery itself is a light -affliction, the mental attitude of the zealot who finds gratification -in “spreading the light” of which he deems himself custodian, is not -understood. Like most things not understood, it is felt to be bad, and -is indubitably offensive. - - - V - -At a church club meeting a paper was read by a minister, entitled, “Why -the Masses Do Not Attend the Churches.” This good and pious man was -not ashamed to account for it by the fact that there is no Sunday law, -and “the masses” can find recreation elsewhere, even in the drinking -saloons. It is frank of him to admit that he and his professional -brethren have not brains enough to make religious services attractive; -but if it is a fact he must not expect the local government to assist -in spreading the gospel by rounding-up the people and corralling them -in the churches. The truth is, and this gentleman suspects it, that -“the masses” stay out of hearing of his pulpit because there he talks -nonsense of the most fatiguing kind; they would rather do any one of -a thousand other things than go to hear it. These parsons are like -a scolding wife who grieves because her husband will not pass his -evenings with her. The more she grieves the more she scolds, and the -more diligently he stays away from her. Satan is not conspicuously -wise, but he is in the main a good entertainer, with a right pretty -knack at making people come again; but the really reprehensible part -of his performance is not the part that attracts them. The parsons -might study his methods with advantage to religion and morality. - -It may be urged that religious services have not entertainment for -their object. But the people, when not engaged in business or labor, -have it for _their_ object. If the clergy do not choose to adapt their -ministrations to the characters of those to whom they wish to minister, -that is their own affair; but let them accept the consequences. “The -masses” do not really enjoy Sunday at all; they try to get through the -day in the manner that is least wearisome to the spirit. Possibly their -taste is not what it ought to be. If the minister were a physician -of bodies instead of souls, and patients who had not called him in -should refuse to take the medicine which he thought his best and they -his nastiest, he should either offer them another, a little less -disagreeable if a little less efficacious, or let them alone. In no -case is he justified in asking the civil authority to hold their noses -while he plies the spoon. - -“The masses” have not asked for churches and services; they really -do not care for anything of the kind—whether they ought is another -matter. If the clergy choose to supply them, that is well and -worthy. But they should understand their relation to the impenitent -worldling, which is precisely that of a physician without a mandate -from the patient, who may not be convinced that there is very much the -matter with him. The physician may have a diploma and a certificate -authorizing him to practise, but if the patient do not deem himself -bound to be practised upon has the physician a right to make him -miserable until he will submit? Clearly, he has not. If he can not -persuade him to come to the dispensary and take medicine there is an -end to the matter, and he may justly conclude that he is misfitted to -his vocation. - -I am sure that the ministers and the singularly small contingent of -earnest and, on the whole, pretty good persons who cluster about them -do not perceive how alien they are in their convictions, tastes, -sympathies and general mental habitudes to the majority of their fellow -men and women. Their voices are like “the gushing wave” which, to the -ears of the lotus-eaters, - - Far, far away did seem to mourn and rave, - -coming to us as from beyond a great gulf, mere ghosts of sound, almost -devoid of meaning. We know that they would have us do something, -but what it is we do not clearly apprehend. We feel that they are -concerned for us, but why, we are imperfectly able to conceive. In an -unintelligible tongue they tell us of unthinkable things. Here and -there in the discourse we catch a word, a phrase, a sentence—something -which, from ancestors whose mother-speech it was, we have inherited the -capacity to understand; but the homily as a whole signifies nothing. -Solemn and sonorous enough it all is, and not unmusical, but it lacks -its natural accompaniment of shawm and sackbut and the wind-swept harp -in the willows by the waters of Babylon. It is, in fact, something of a -survival—the memory of a dream. - - - VI - -The first week of January is by a certain sect set apart as a week -of prayer. It is a custom of more than a half century’s age, and it -seems that “gracious answers have been received in proportion to the -earnestness and unanimity of the petitions.” That is to say, in this -world’s speech, the more Christians that have prayed and the more -they have meant it, the better the result is known to have been. I -don’t believe all that. I don’t believe that when God is asked to do -something that he had not intended to do he counts noses before making -up his mind whether to do it or not. God probably knows the character -of his work, and knowing that he has made this a world of knaves and -dunces, he must know that the more of them that ask for something, and -the more earnestly they ask, the stronger is the presumption that they -ought not to have it. And I think God is perhaps less concerned about -his popularity than some good folk seem to suppose. - -Doubtless there are errors in the record of results—some things set -down as “answers” to prayer, which came about through the orderly -operation of natural laws and would have occurred anyhow. I am told -that similar errors have been made, or are believed to have been made, -in the past. In 1730, for example, a good Bishop at Auvergne prayed -for an eclipse of the sun as a warning to unbelievers. The eclipse -ensued and the pious prelate made the most of it; but when it was -shown that the astronomers of the period had foretold it he suffered -irreverent gibes. A monk of Treves prayed that an enemy of the church, -then in Paris, might lose his head, and it fell off; but it transpired -that, unknown (or known) to the monk, the man was under sentence of -decapitation when the prayer was made. This is related by one who -piously explains, however, that but for the prayer the sentence might -have been commuted to service in the galleys. I have myself known a -minister to pray for rain, and the rain came. I fear he knew that the -weather bureau had predicted a fair day. - -I do not object to a week of prayer. But why only a week? If prayer -is “answered” Christians ought to pray all the time. That prayer is -“answered” the Scripture affirms as positively and unequivocally as -anything can be affirmed in words: “All things whatsoever ye shall ask -in prayer, believing, that ye shall receive.” Why, then, when for weeks -all the clergy of this country prayed publicly for the recovery of -President Garfield did the man die? Why is it that although two pious -chaplains ask almost daily that goodness and wisdom may descend upon -Congress, Congress remains wicked and unwise? Why is it that although -in all the churches and many dwellings of the land God is continually -asked for good government good government remains what it always -and everywhere has been, a dream? From Earth to Heaven in unceasing -ascension flows a stream of prayer for every blessing that man desires, -yet man remains unblest, the victim of his own folly and passions, the -sport of fire, flood, tempest and earthquake, afflicted with famine -and disease, war, poverty and crime, his world an incredible welter -of evil, his life a curse and his hope a lie. Is it possible that all -this praying is futilized and invalidated by lack of faith?—that the -“asking” is not credentialed by the “believing?” When the anointed -minister of Heaven spreads his palms and uprolls his eyes to beseech -a general blessing or some special advantage is he the celebrant of a -hollow, meaningless rite, or the dupe of a false promise? One does not -know, but if one is not a fool one does know that his every resultless -petition proves him by the inexorable laws of logic to be the one or -the other. - - - VII - -Christ’s Christianity is beautiful exceedingly, and he who admires -not is eyed batly and minded as the mole. “Sell all that thou hast,” -said Christ, “and give to the poor.” All—no less—in order “to be -saved.” The poor were Christ’s peculiar care. Ever for them and their -privations, and not greatly for their spiritual darkness, fell from -his lips the compassionate word, the mandate for their relief and -cherishing. Of foreign missions, of home missions, of mission schools, -of church building, of work among pagans in _partibus infidelium_, of -work among sailors, of communion table, of delegates to councils—of -any of these things he knew no more than the moon man. They are -later inventions, as is the entire florid and flamboyant fabric of -ecclesiasticism that has been reared, stone by stone and century after -century, upon his simple life and works and words. “Founder,” indeed! -He founded nothing, instituted nothing; Paul did all that. Christ -simply went about doing, and being, good—admonishing the rich, whom he -honestly but foolishly regarded as criminals, comforting the luckless -and uttering wisdom with that Oriental indirection wherein our stupid -ingenuity finds imaginary warrant for all our pranks and fads. - - - - - IMMORTALITY - - -The desire for life everlasting has commonly been affirmed to be -universal—at least that is the view taken by those unacquainted -with Oriental faiths and with Oriental character. Those of us whose -knowledge is a trifle wider are not prepared to say that the desire is -universal nor even general. - -If the devout Buddhist, for example, wishes to “live alway,” he has not -succeeded in very clearly formulating the desire. The sort of thing -that he is pleased to hope for is not what we should call life, and not -what many of us would care for. - -When a man says that everybody has “a horror of annihilation,” we may -be very sure that he has not many opportunities for observation, or -that he has not availed himself of all that he has. Most persons go -to sleep rather gladly, yet sleep is virtual annihilation while it -lasts; and if it should last forever the sleeper would be no worse off -after a million years of it than after an hour of it. There are minds -sufficiently logical to think of it that way, and to them annihilation -is not a disagreeable thing to contemplate and expect. - -In this matter of immortality, people’s beliefs appear to go along with -their wishes. The man who is content with annihilation thinks he will -get it; those that want immortality are pretty sure they are immortal; -and that is a very comfortable allotment of faiths. The few of us that -are left unprovided for are those who do not bother themselves much -about the matter, one way or another. - -The question of human immortality is the most momentous that the mind -is capable of conceiving. If it is a fact that the dead live all other -facts are in comparison trivial and without interest. The prospect of -obtaining certain knowledge with regard to this stupendous matter is -not encouraging. In all countries but those in barbarism the powers -of the profoundest and most penetrating intelligences have been -ceaselessly addressed to the task of glimpsing a life beyond this life; -yet to-day no one can truly say that he knows. It is as much a matter -of faith as ever it was. - -Our modern Christian nations profess a passionate hope and belief in -another world, yet the most popular writer and speaker of his time, -the man whose lectures drew the largest audiences, the work of whose -pen brought him the highest rewards, was he who most strenuously strove -to destroy the ground of that hope and unsettle the foundations of that -belief. - -The famous and popular Frenchman, Professor of Spectacular Astronomy, -Camille Flammarion, affirms immortality because he has talked with -departed souls who said that it was true. Yes, monsieur, but surely -you know the rule about hearsay evidence. We Anglo-Saxons are very -particular about that. - -M. Flammarion says: - -“I don’t repudiate the presumptive arguments of schoolmen. I merely -supplement them with something positive. For instance, if you assumed -the existence of God this argument of the scholastics is a good one. -God has implanted in all men the desire of perfect happiness. This -desire can not be satisfied in our lives here. If there were not -another life wherein to satisfy it then God would be a deceiver. _Voila -tout._” - -There is more: the desire of perfect happiness does not imply -immortality, even if there is a God, for - -(1) God may not have implanted it, but merely suffers it to exist, as -he suffers sin to exist, the desire of wealth, the desire to live -longer than we do in this world. It is not held that God implanted all -the desires of the human heart. Then why hold that he implanted that of -perfect happiness? - -(2) Even if he did—even if a divinely implanted desire entail its own -gratification—even if it can not be gratified in this life—that does -not imply immortality. It implies _only_ another life long enough for -its gratification just once. An eternity of gratification is not a -logical inference from it. - -(3) Perhaps God _is_ “a deceiver;” who knows that he is not? Assumption -of the existence of a God is one thing; assumption of the existence of -a God who is honorable and candid according to our conception of honor -and candor is another. - -(4) There may be an honorable and candid God. He may have implanted -in us the desire of perfect happiness. It may be—it is—impossible to -gratify that desire in this life. Still, another life is not implied, -for God may not have intended us to draw the inference that he is going -to gratify it. If omniscient and omnipotent, God must be held to have -intended whatever occurs, but no such God is assumed in M. Flammarion’s -illustration, and it may be that God’s knowledge and power are -limited, or that one of them is limited. - -M. Flammarion is a learned, if somewhat theatrical, astronomer. He -has a tremendous imagination, which naturally is more at home in the -marvelous and catastrophic than in the orderly regions of familiar -phenomena. To him the heavens are an immense pyrotechnicon and he is -the master of the show and sets off the fireworks. But he knows nothing -of logic, which is the science of straight thinking, and his views of -things have therefore no value; they are nebulous. - -Nothing is clearer than that our pre-existence is a dream, having -absolutely no basis in anything that we know or can hope to know. Of -after-existence there is said to be evidence, or rather testimony, -in assurances of those who are in present enjoyment of it—if it is -enjoyable. Whether this testimony has actually been given—and it is -the only testimony worth a moment’s consideration—is a disputed point. -Many persons living this life profess to have received it. But nobody -professes, or ever has professed, to have received a communication of -any kind from one in actual experience of the fore-life. “The souls as -yet ungarmented,” if such there are, are dumb to question. The Land -beyond the Grave has been, if not observed, yet often and variously -described: if not explored and surveyed, yet carefully charted. From -among so many accounts of it that we have, he must be fastidious indeed -who can not be suited. But of the Fatherland that spreads before the -cradle—the great Heretofore, wherein we all dwelt if we are to dwell in -the Hereafter, we have no account. Nobody professes knowledge of that. -No testimony reaches our ears of flesh concerning its topographical or -other features; no one has been so enterprising as to wrest from its -actual inhabitants any particulars of their character and appearance. -And among educated experts and professional proponents of worlds to be -there is a general denial of its existence. - -I am of their way of thinking about that. The fact that we have no -recollection of a former life is entirely conclusive of the matter. -To have lived an unrecollected life is impossible and unthinkable, -for there would be nothing to connect the new life with the old—no -thread of continuity—nothing that persisted from the one life to the -other. The later birth would be that of another person, an altogether -different being, unrelated to the first—a new John Smith succeeding to -the late Tom Jones. - -Let us not be misled here by a false analogy. To-day I may get a -thwack o’ the mazzard which will give me an intervening season of -unconsciousness between yesterday and to-morrow. Thereafter I may live -to a green old age with no recollection of anything that I knew, or -did, or was before the accident; yet I shall be the same person, for -between the old life and the new there will be a _nexus_, a thread -of continuity, something spanning the gulf from the one state to the -other, and the same in both—namely, my body with its habits, capacities -and powers. That is I; that identifies me to others as my former -self—authenticates and credentials me as the person that incurred the -cranial mischance, dislodging memory. - -But when death occurs _all_ is dislodged if memory is; for between -two merely mental or spiritual existences memory is the only _nexus_ -conceivable; consciousness of identity is the only identity. To live -again without memory of having lived before is to live another. -Re-existence without recollection is absurd; there is nothing to -re-exist. - - - - - A ROLLING CONTINENT - - -Like hope, the passion for prophecy springs eternal in the human -breast; man is prone to it, as the sparks fly upward. Stripped of -its several disguises, a considerable part of the world’s writing -and speaking is pure prediction; even the official forecaster of -the weather bureau can not resist the universal urge and maintain a -discreet and dignified silence befitting his office. Eliminate from -politics, for example, all prophecies, expressed or implied—all the -jeremiads based on assumption of the opposite party’s success and all -the assurances of a golden age to ensue from its defeat—and politics -will “look another thing.” - -But of all the cloud of witnesses to the kind of mountain which the -mouse of our country’s future is to bring forth, none seems clearly -to discern the adverse conditions environing the American prophet and -foredooming to futility his vision and his dream. None appears to take -account of the annulling fact that this continent is turning over like -a man in bed; yet it ought to be obvious to the meanest understanding -that if this movement continue it will supply conditions suitable -to neither the reign of terror consequent upon the success of one’s -political opponents nor the golden age dependent on the ascendency of -the principles professed by oneself. - -It has been shown that the Farallon islands, just off the Pacific -coast, are becoming, as Tennyson would put it, “more and more;” the -lighthouse keeper out there is in progressive achievement of the rôle -of “prominent citizen.” The bar at the mouth of San Francisco harbor is -rising faster in fathoms than those farther inland in public esteem. In -the steady ascension of the bottom of the bay lurks a possibility which -without vanity we may affirm will astonish the astronomers of Mars. In -short, the entire Pacific Coast is insurgent. - -On the Atlantic seaboard inundations from marine storms occur every -year. The waves eat farther and farther into the land; the high-water -mark of one decade becomes the low-water mark of the next, and diking -as an agricultural method has a growing importance. It is estimated -that the greater part of Manhattan island will be submerged within -fifty years, and that within an even shorter period the Jersey -mosquito will find no rest for the sole of his foot, and must become a -pelican or quit. - -But the steady subsidence of the Atlantic littoral foreshadows changes -more startling than these—more startling, at least, to some who have -not the advantage to be Jersey mosquitoes. Man himself, the man of the -Eastern states, _Homo smugwumpus_, will find himself face to face with -a problem of supreme scientific interest and personal importance. Will -he travel west and go up with the country, or, staying where he is, -develop into a fish and be mighty quick about it? The ordinary process -of evolution, whereby a million years are required to change a red -worm into a rhinoceros or advance a cave-bat one step in biological -preferment and make it a theologian, will not do for _H. smugwumpus_ -when the wave is at his armpits and his ancestral acres are falling -away from his webless feet. Even the fittest of his species must travel -with uncommon speed along the line of development in order to survive -in the new environment. They must slide nimbly up the scale of being, -passing every intermediate stage between smugwumphood and fishness -without pausing to enjoy its advantages. Probably, however, most of -them will prefer to ascend the new watercourses up the ever-steepening -slope of the great plains, settling eventually on the summit of the -continent, roundabout San Francisco—where it is to be hoped they will -be welcome if they behave themselves. Doubtless they will miss many of -the blessings of their lowland existence, but they will find in the -superior altitude an immunity from sunstroke and the mad dog, which -will be partial compensation for renouncing the fascinating study of -the long thermometer. - -Probably the turning over of the continent will in time be stayed; to -the unscientific mind, at least, its complete subversion is imperfectly -thinkable. But for the next few thousand years, while still the memory -of the purpose and efficacy of Noah’s deluge is fresh and pleasing in -Heaven, the movement will be likely to continue. By the time that it -ceases the Atlantic shore will perhaps be a contour line on the eastern -declivity of the Rocky Mountains, and the Pacific slope comprise all -that region now underlying the “great gulf” between this world and -Hawaii. As a practical settlement of the annexation question on a -staying basis, this unpolitical movement is worthy of the highest -commendation. With the construction of the San Francisco and Honolulu -Pacific Railroad by Government and at the rate of fifty million dollars -a mile in hand paid to the owners of the road, and by them kept for -their honesty, the status of the descendants of Kamehameha and Kalakaua -will be definitely fixed—they will be payers of All That The Traffic -Will Bear. - -The upward tendency of the Pacific side of the continent will be -attended, no doubt, with certain inconveniences. Already the relentless -progress of its ascension has laid “effacing fingers” on the _amour -propre_ of several worthy persons who thought themselves heavy enough -to hold it down. - -1892. - - - - - CHARITY - - -The promoter of organized charity protests against “the wasteful -and mischievous method of undirected relief.” He means, naturally, -relief that is not directed by somebody else than the person giving -it—undirected by him and his kind—professional almoners—philanthropists -who deem it more blessed to allot than to bestow. Indubitably much is -wasted and some mischief done by indiscriminate giving—and individual -givers are addicted to that faulty practice. But there is something to -be said for “undirected relief,” quite the same. It blesses not only -him who receives (when he is worthy; and when he is not, upon his own -head be it) but him who gives. To those uncalculating persons who, -despite the protests of the organized charitable, concede a certain -moral value to the spontaneous impulses of the heart and read in the -word “relief” a double meaning, the office of the mere distributor is -imperfectly sacred. He is even without scriptural authority, and lives -in the perpetual challenge of a moral _quo warranto_. Nevertheless -he is not without his uses. He is a tapper of tills that do not open -automatically. He is almoner to the uncompassionate, who but for -him would give no alms. He negotiates unnatural but not censurable -relations between selfishness and ingratitude. The good that he does is -purely material. He makes two leaves of fat to grow where but one grew -before, lessens the sum of gastric pangs and dorsal chills. All this is -something, certainly, but it generates no warm and elevated sentiments -and does nothing in mitigation of the poor’s animosity to the rich. -Organized charity is an insipid and savorless thing; its place among -moral agencies is no higher than that of root beer. - -Christ did not say, “Sell that thou hast and give to the church to -give to the poor.” He did not mention the Associated Charities of the -period. I do not find the words, “The Little Sisters of the Poor ye -have always with you,” nor, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least -of these Dorcas societies ye have done it unto me.” Nowhere do I find -myself commanded to enable others to comfort the afflicted and visit -the sick and those in prison. Nowhere is recorded God’s blessing upon -him who makes himself a part of a charity machine—no, not even if he -be the guiding lever of the whole mechanism. - -Organized charity is a delusion and a snare. It enables Munniglut to -think himself a good man for paying annual dues and buying transferable -meal tickets. Munniglut is not thereby a good man. On the Last Great -Day, when he cowers in the Ineffable Presence and is asked for an -accounting it will not profit him to say, “Hearing that A was in want, -I gave money for his need to B.” Nor will it advantage B to say, “When -A was in distress I asked C to relieve him, and myself allotted the -relief according to a resolution of D, E and F.” - -There are blessings and benefactions that one would willingly -forego—among them the poor. Quack remedies for poverty amuse; a real -specific would kindle a noble enthusiasm. Yet the world would lose much -by it; human nature would suffer a change for the worse. Happily and -unhappily, poverty is not abolishable: “The poor ye have always with -you” is a sentence that can never become unintelligible. Effect of a -thousand permanent causes, poverty is invincible, eternal. And since we -must have it let us thank God for it and avail ourselves of all its -advantages to mind and character. He who is not good to the deserving -poor; who knows not those of his immediate environment; who goes not -among them making inquiry of their personal needs; who does not wish -with all his heart and strive with both his hands to relieve them—is -wasteful and improvident. - - - - - EMANCIPATED WOMAN - - -What I should like to know is, how “the enlargement of woman’s sphere” -by her entrance into various activities of commercial, professional -and industrial life benefits the sex. It may please Helen Gougar and -satisfy her sense of logical accuracy to say, as she does: “We women -must work in order to fill the places left vacant by liquor-drinking -men.” But who filled these places before? Did they remain vacant, or -were there then disappointed applicants, as now? If my memory serves, -there has been no time in the period that it covers when the supply -of workers—abstemious male workers—was not in excess of the demand. -That it has always been so is sufficiently attested by the universally -inadequate wage rate. - -Employers seldom fail, and never for long, to get all the workmen they -need. The field into which women have put their sickles was already -overcrowded with reapers. Whatever employment women have obtained -has been got by displacing men—who would otherwise be supporting -women. Where is the general advantage? We may shout “high tariff,” -“combination of capital,” “demonetization of silver,” and what not, but -if searching for the cause of augmented poverty and crime, “industrial -discontent” and the tramp evil, instead of dogmatically expounding it, -we should take some account of this enormous, sudden addition to the -number of workers seeking work. If any one thinks that within the brief -period of a generation the visible supply of labor can be enormously -augmented without profoundly affecting the stability of things and -disastrously touching the interests of wage-workers let no rude -voice dispel his dream of such maleficent agencies as his slumbrous -understanding may joy to affirm. And let our Widows of Ashur unlung -themselves in advocacy of quack remedies for evils of which themselves -are cause; it remains true that when the contention of two lions for -one bone is exacerbated by the accession of a lioness the squabble is -not composable by stirring up some bears in the cage adjacent. - -Indubitably a woman is under no obligation to sacrifice herself to -the good of her sex by foregoing needed employment in the hope that -it may fall to a man gifted with dependent women. Nevertheless our -congratulations are more intelligent when bestowed upon her individual -head than when sifted into the hair of all Eve’s daughters. This -is a world of complexities, in which the lines of interest are so -intertangled as frequently to transgress that of sex; and one ambitious -to help but half the race may profitably know that every effort to that -end provokes a counterbalancing mischief. The “enlargement of woman’s -opportunities” has benefited individual women. It has not benefited the -sex as a whole, and has distinctly damaged the race. The mind that can -not discern a score of great and irreparable general evils distinctly -traceable to “emancipation of woman” is as impregnable to the light as -a toad in a rock. - -A marked demerit of the new order of things—the _régime_ of female -commercial service—is that its main advantage accrues, not to the -race, not to the sex, not to the class, not to the individual woman, -but to the person of least need and worth—the male employer. (Female -employers in any considerable number there will not be, but those that -we have could give the male ones profitable instruction in grinding -the faces of their employees.) This constant increase of the army -of labor—always and everywhere too large for the work in sight—by -accession of a new contingent of natural oppressibles makes the very -teeth of old Munniglut thrill with a poignant delight. It brings in -that situation known as two laborers seeking one job—and one of them a -person whose bones he can easily grind to make his bread; and Munniglut -is a miller of skill and experience, dusted all over with the evidence -of his useful craft. When Heaven has assisted the Daughters of Hope -to open to women a new “avenue of opportunities” the first to enter -and walk therein, like God in the Garden of Eden, is the good Mr. -Munniglut, contentedly smoothing the folds out of the superior slope of -his paunch, exuding the peculiar aroma of his oleaginous personality -and larding the new roadway with the overflow of a righteousness -stimulated to action by relish of his own identity. And ever thereafter -the subtle suggestion of a fat philistinism lingers along that path of -progress like an assertion of a possessory right. - -It is God’s own crystal truth that in dealing with women unfortunate -enough to be compelled to earn their own living and fortunate enough to -have wrested from Fate an opportunity to do so, men of business and -affairs treat them with about the same delicate consideration that they -show to dogs and horses of the inferior breeds. It does not commonly -occur to the wealthy “professional man,” or “prominent merchant,” to -be ashamed to add to his yearly thousands a part of the salary justly -due to his female bookkeeper or typewriter, who sits before him all day -with an empty belly in order to have an habilimented back. He has a -vague, hazy notion that the law of supply and demand is mandatory, and -that in submitting himself to it by paying her a half of what he would -have to pay a man of inferior efficiency he is supplying the world -with a noble example of obedience. I must take the liberty to remind -him that the law of supply and demand is not imperative; it is not a -statute but a phenomenon. He may reply: “It is imperative; the penalty -for disobedience is failure. If I pay more in salaries and wages than -I need to, my competitor will not; and with that advantage he will -drive me from the field.” If his margin of profit is so small that he -must eke it out by coining the sweat of his workwomen into nickels I’ve -nothing to say to him. Let him adopt in peace the motto, “I cheat to -eat.” I do not know why he should eat, but Nature, who has provided -sustenance for the worming sparrow, the sparrowing owl and the owling -eagle, approves the needy man of prey and makes a place for him at -table. - -Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there -is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch—as cunning is the -wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward. Nobody is -altogether bad; the scoundrel who has grown rich by underpaying workmen -in his factory will sometimes endow an asylum for indigent seamen. To -oppress one’s own workmen, and provide for the workmen of a neighbor—to -skin those in charge of one’s own interests while cottoning and oiling -the residuary product of another’s skinnery—that is not very good -benevolence, nor very good sense, but it serves in place of both. The -man who eats _pâté de fois gras_ in the sweat of his girl cashier’s -face, or wears purple and fine linen in order that his typewriter may -have an eocene gown and a pliocene hat, seems a tolerably satisfactory -specimen of the genus thief; but let us not forget that in his own -home—a fairly good one—he may enjoy and merit that highest and most -honorable title on the scroll of woman’s favor, “a good provider.” One -having a claim to that glittering distinction should enjoy immunity -from the coarse and troublesome question, “From whose backs and bellies -do you provide?” - -So much for the material results to the sex. What are the moral -results? One does not like to speak of them, particularly to those who -do not and can not know—to good women in whose innocent minds female -immorality is inseparable from flashy gowning and the painted face; -to foolish, book-taught men who honestly believe in some protective -sanctity that hedges womanhood. If men of the world with years enough -to have lived out of the old _régime_ into the new would testify -in this matter there would ensue a great rattling of dry bones in -bodices of reform-ladies. Nay, if the young man about town, knowing -nothing of how things were in the “dark backward and absym of time,” -but something of the moral distance between even so free-running a -creature as the society girl and the average working girl of the -factory, the shop and the office, would speak out (under assurance of -immunity from prosecution) his testimony would be a surprise to the -cartilaginous virgins, blowsy matrons, acrid relicts and hairy males -of Emancipation. It would pain, too, some very worthy but unobservant -persons not in sympathy with “the cause.” - -Certain significant facts are within the purview of all but the very -young and the comfortably blind. To the woman of to-day the man of -to-day is imperfectly polite. In place of reverence he gives her -“deference;” to the language of compliment has succeeded the language -of raillery. Men have almost forgotten how to bow. Doubtless the -advanced female prefers the new manner, as may some of her less forward -sisters, thinking it more sincere. It is not; our giddy grandfather -talked high-flown nonsense because his heart had tangled his tongue. -He treated his woman more civilly than we ours because he loved her -better. He never had seen her on the “rostrum” and in the lobby, never -had heard her in advocacy of herself, never had read her confessions -of his sins, never had felt the stress of her competition, nor himself -assisted by daily personal contact in rubbing the bloom off her. He did -not know that her virtues were due to her secluded life, but thought, -dear old boy, that they were a gift of God. - - - - - THE OPPOSING SEX - - -Emancipation of woman is not of American invention. The “movement,” -like most others that are truly momentous, began in Europe and has -broken through and broken down more formidable barriers of law, -custom and tradition there than here. It is not true, as dogmatically -affirmed by a noted American writer, that the English married woman -is “virtually a bondwoman” to her husband; that “she can hardly go -and come without his consent, and usually he does not consent;” that -“all she has is his.” If there is such a thing as “the bitterness of -the English married woman to the law,” underlying it there is such a -thing as ignorance of what the law is. The “subjection of woman,” as it -exists to-day in England, is customary and traditionary—a social, not -a legal, subjection. Nowhere has law so sharply challenged that male -dominion whose seat is in the harder muscles, the larger brain and the -coarser heart. And the law, it may be worth while to point out, was -not of woman born; nor was it handed down out of Heaven engraved on -tables of stone. Learned English judges have decided that virtually, -even the term “marital rights” has no longer a legal signification. As -one writer puts it, “The law has relaxed the husband’s control over his -wife’s person and fortune, bit by bit, until legally it has left him -nothing but the power to prevent her, if he is so disposed and arrives -in time, from jumping out of the window.” He will find it greatly to -his interest to arrive in time when he conveniently can, and to be so -disposed, for the husband is still liable for the wife’s torts; and if -she make the leap he may have to pay for the telescoping of a subjacent -hat or two. - -In England it is Tyrant Man himself who is chafing in his chain. Not -only is a husband still liable for the wrongs committed by the wife -whom he has no longer the power to restrain from committing them, but -in many ways—in one very important way—his obligation to her remains -intact after she has had the self-sacrifice to surrender all obligation -to him. Moreover, if his wife has a separate estate he has to endure -the pain of seeing it hedged about from her creditors (themselves not -altogether happy in the contemplation) with restrictions which do -not hamper the right of recourse against his own. Doubtless all this -is not without a softening effect upon his character, smoothing down -his dispositional asperities and endowing him day by day with fresh -accretions of humility; and that is good for him. I do not say that -woman’s autonomy is not among the most efficacious agencies for man’s -reclamation from the sin of pride; I only say that it is not indigenous -to this country, the sweet, sweet home of the assassiness, the happy -hunting ground of the whiplady, the paradise of the vitrioleuse. - -If the protagonists of woman suffrage are frank they are shallow; if -wise, uncandid. Continually they affirm their conviction that political -power in the hands of women will give us better government. To proof of -that proposition they address all the powers that they have and marshal -such facts as can be compelled to serve under their flag. They either -think or profess to think that if they can show that women’s votes will -purify politics they will have proved their case. That is not true; -the strongest objection to woman suffrage would remain untouched. Pure -politics is desirable, certainly, but it is not the chief concern of -the best and most intelligent citizens. Good government is devoutly -to be wished, but more than good government we need good women. If all -our public affairs were to be ordered with the goodness and wisdom -of angels, and this state of perfection were obtained by sacrifice -of any of those qualities which make the best of our women, if not -what they should be, nor what the mindless male thinks them, at least -what they are, we should have purchased the advantage too dearly. The -effect of woman suffrage upon the country is of secondary importance: -the question for profitable consideration is, How will it affect the -character of woman? He who does not see in the goodness and charm -of such women as are good and charming something incalculably more -precious than any degree of political purity or national prosperity may -be a patriot; but also he has the distinction to be a pig. - -I should like to ask the gallant gentlemen who vote for removal of -woman’s political disability if they have observed in the minds and -manners of the women in the forefront of the movement nothing “ominous -and drear.” Are not these women different—I don’t say worse, just -different—from the best types of women of peace who are not exhibits -and audibles? If they are different is the difference of such a nature -as to encourage a hope that activity in public affairs will work an -improvement in Woman? Is “the glare of publicity” good for her growth -in grace and winsomeness? Would a sane and sensible husband or lover -willingly forego in wife or sweetheart all that the colonels of her -sex appear to lack, or find in her all that they appear to have and to -value? - -A few more questions—addressed more particularly to veteran observers -than to those to whom the world is new and strange. Do you think that -when all women are armed with the ballot they will compel a return to -the old _régime_ of reverence and delicate consideration—extorting -by their power the tribute once voluntarily paid to their weakness? -Is there any known way by which women can at the same time be our -political equals and our social superiors, our competitors in the sharp -and bitter struggle for glory, gain or bread, and the objects of our -unselfish and undiminished devotion? The present predicts the future; -of the foreshadow of the coming event all sensitive female hearts feel -the chill. For whatever advantages, real or illusory, some women enjoy -under this _régime_ of partial “emancipation” all women pay. Of the -coin in which payment is made the shouldering shouters of the sex have -not a groat and can bear the situation with tranquillity. They have -either passed the age of masculine attention or were born without the -means to its accroachment. Dwelling in the open bog, they can afford to -defy eviction. - -While men did nearly all the writing and public speaking of the world, -setting so the fashion in thought, women, naturally extolled with -true sexual extravagance, came to be considered, even by themselves, -a very superior order of beings, with something in them of divinity -which was denied to man. Not only were they represented as better, -generally, than men, as indeed anybody could see that they were, but -their goodness was supposed to be a kind of spiritual endowment and -more or less independent of environmental influences. We are changing -all that. Women are beginning to do much of the writing and public -speaking, and they are sure to disclose, even to the unthinking, -certain defects of character in themselves which their silence had -veiled. Their competition, too, in the several kinds of affairs will -slowly but certainly provoke resentment, and moreover expose them to -temptations that will distinctly lower the morality of their sex. All -these changes, and many more having a similar effect and significance, -are occurring with rapidity, and the stated results are already visible -to even the blindest observation. In accurate forecast of the new order -of things conjecture fails, but so much we know: the woman-superstition -has already received its death wound and must soon expire. - -Everywhere, and in no reverential spirit, men are questioning the -dear old idolatry; not “sapping a solemn creed with solemn sneer,” -but dispassionately applying to its basic doctrine the methods -of scientific criticism. In the various movements—none of them -consciously iconoclastic—engaged in overthrowing this oddest of modern -superstitions there is something to deprecate, and even deplore, but -the superstition can be spared. It never had much in it that was either -creditable or profitable, and all through its rituals ran a note of -insincerity which was partly Nature’s protest against the rites, but -partly, too, hypocrisy. There is no danger that good men will ever -cease to respect and love good women, and if bad men ever cease to -adore them for their sex when not beating them for their virtues the -gain in consistency will partly offset the loss in religious ecstasy. - -Let the patriot abandon his fear, his betters their hope, that only -the low class woman will vote—the unlettered wench of the slums, the -raddled hag of the dives, the war-painted _protégée_ of the police. -Into the vortex of politics goes every floating thing that is free to -move. The summons to the polls will be imperative and incessant. Duty -will thunder it from every platform, conscience whisper it into every -ear; pride, interest, the lust of victory—all the motives that impel -men to partisan activity will act with the same power upon women as -upon men; and to all the other forces flowing irresistibly toward the -polls will be added the suasion of men themselves. The price of votes -will not decline because of the increased supply, although it will in -most instances be offered in currencies too subtle to be counted. As -now, the honest and respectable elector will habitually take bribes -in the invisible coin of the realm of Sentiment—a mintage peculiarly -valued by woman. For one reason or another all women will vote, even -those who now view the “right” with aversion. The observer who has -marked the strength and activity of the forces pent in the dark drink -of politics and given off in the act of bibation will not expect -inaction in the victim of the “habit,” be he male or she female. In the -partisan, conviction is compulsion—opinions bear fruit in conduct. The -partisan thinks in deeds, and woman is by nature a partisan—a blessing -for which the Lord has never made her male relatives and friends -sufficiently thankful. Not a mere man of them would have the effrontery -to ask her toleration if she were not. - -Depend upon it, the full strength of the female vote will eventually be -cast at every election. And it would be well indeed for civilization -and the interests of the race if woman suffrage meant no more than -going to the polling-place and polling—which clearly is all that it -has been thought out to mean by the headless horsemen spurring their -new hobbies bravely at the tail of the procession. That would be a -very simple matter; the opposition based upon the impropriety of the -female rubbing shoulders at the polls with such scurvy blackguards -as ourselves may with advantage be retired from service. Nor is it -particularly important what men and measures the women will vote for. -By one means or another Tyrant Man will have his way; the Opposing -Sex can merely obstruct him in his way of having it. And should that -obstruction ever be too pronounced, the party line and the sex line -coinciding, woman suffrage will then and thenceforth be no more, and -the “majority” will again rule. In the politics of this bad world -majorities are of several kinds. One of the most “overwhelming” is made -up of these simple elements: (1) a numerical minority; (2) a military -superiority. - -If not a single election were ever in any degree affected by it, the -introduction of woman suffrage into our scheme of manners and morals -would nevertheless be one of the most momentous and mischievous events -of modern history. Compared with the action of this destructive -solvent, that of all other disintegrating agencies concerned in our -decivilization is as the languorous indiligence of rosewater to the -mordant fury of nitric acid. - -Lively Woman is indeed, as Carlyle would put it, “hell-bent” on -purification of politics by adding herself as an ingredient. It is -unlikely that the injection of her personality into the contention -(and politics is essentially a contention) will allay any animosities, -sweeten any tempers, elevate any motives. The strifes of women are -distinctly meaner than those of men—which are out of all reason mean; -their methods of overcoming opponents distinctly more unscrupulous. -That their participation in politics will notably alter the conditions -of the game is not to be denied; so much, unfortunately, is obvious; -but that it will make the player less malignant and the playing more -honorable is a proposition in support of which one can utter a deal of -gorgeous nonsense with a less insupportable sense of its unfitness than -in the service of almost any other delusion. - -The frosty truth is that except in the home the influence of women is -not elevating, but debasing. When they stoop to uplift men who need -uplifting, they are themselves pulled down, and that is all that is -accomplished. Wherever they come into familiar contact with men who -are not their relatives they impart nothing, they receive all; they -do not affect us with their notions of morality; we infect them with -ours. In the last forty years, in this country, they have entered a -hundred avenues of activity from which they were previously debarred -by unwritten law. They are found in the offices, the shops, the -factories; like Charles Lamb’s fugitive pigs, they have run up all -manner of streets. Does any one think that in that time there has -been an advance in professional, commercial and industrial morality? -Are lawyers more scrupulous, tradesmen more honest? When one has been -served by a “saleslady” does one leave the shop with a feebler sense -of injury than was formerly inspired by a transaction at the counter—a -duller consciousness of being oneself the commodity that has changed -hands? Have actresses elevated the stage to a moral altitude congenial -to the colder virtues? In studios of artists is the “sound of revelry -by night” invariably a deep, masculine bass? In literature are the -immoral books—the books dealing with questionable “questions”—always, -or even commonly, written by men? - -There is one direction in which “emancipation of woman” and enlargement -of her “sphere” have wrought reform: they have elevated the _personnel_ -of the little dinner party in the “private room.” Formerly, as any -veteran man-about-town can testify if he will, the female contingent of -the party was composed of persons altogether unspeakable. That element -now remains upon its reservation; among the superior advantages enjoyed -by the man-about-town of to-day is that of the companionship, at his -dinner _in camera_, of ladies having an honorable vocation. In the -corridors of the “French restaurant” the swish of Pseudonyma’s skirt -is no longer heard; she has been superseded by the Princess Tap-tap -(with Truckle & Cinch), by my lady Snip-snip (from the “emporium” of -Boltwhack & Co.), by Miss Chink-chink, who sits at the receipt of -customs in that severely un-French restaurant, the Maison Hash. That -the man-about-town has been morally elevated by this emancipation of -Girl from the seclusion of home to that of the “private room” is too -obvious for denial. Nothing so uplifts Tyrant Man as the table talk of -good young women who earn their own living. - -I do not wish to be altogether ironical about this rather serious -matter—not so much so as to forfeit anything of lucidity. Let me say, -then, in all earnestness and sobriety and simplicity of speech, what -is known to every worldly-wise male dweller in the cities, to every -scamp and scapegrace of the clubs, to every reformed sentimentalist -and every observer with a straight eye—namely, that in all the several -classes of young women in our cities who support, or partly support, -themselves in vocations that bring them into personal contact with -men, female chastity is a vanishing tradition. In the lives of the -“main and general” of these, all those _desiderata_ which have their -origin in personal purity, and cluster about it, and are its signs -and safeguards, have almost ceased to cut a figure. It is needless to -remind me that there are exceptions—I know that. With some of them I -have personal acquaintance, or think I have, and for them a respect -withheld from any woman of the rostrum who points to their misfortune -and calls it emancipation—to their need and calls it a spirit of -independence. It is not from these good girls that you will hear the -flippant boast of an unfettered life, with “freedom to develop;” nor is -it they who will be foremost and furious in denial and resentment of my -statements regarding the morals of their class. They do not know the -whole truth, thank Heaven, but they know enough for a deprecation too -deep to find relief in a cheap affirmation of woman’s purity, which is, -and always has been, the creature of seclusion. - -The fitness of women for political activity is not in present question; -I am considering the fitness of political activity for women. For -women as men say they are, wish them to be and try to think them, -it is unfit altogether—as unfit as anything else that “mixes them -up” with us, compelling a communication and association that are not -social. If we wish to have women who are different from ourselves in -knowledge, character, accomplishments, manners; as different mentally -as physically—and in these and in all other expressible differences -reside all the charms that they have for us—we must keep them, or they -must keep themselves, in an environment unlike our own. One would think -this obvious to the meanest capacity, and might even hope that it would -be understood by the Daughters of Thunder. Possibly the Advanced One, -hospitably accepting her karma, is not concerned to be charming to -“the likes o’ we”—would prefer the companionship of her blue gingham -umbrella, her corkscrew curls, her epicene audiences and her name in -the newspapers. Perhaps she is content with the comfort of her raucous -voice. Therein she is unwise, for self-interest is the first law. When -we no longer find women charming we may find a way to make them more -useful—more truly useful, even, than the speech-ladies would have them -make themselves by competition. Really, there is nothing in the world -between them and slavery but their power of interesting us; and that -has its origin in the very differences which the colonels of their sex -are striving to abolish. God has made no law of miracles and none of -his laws is going to be suspended in deference to woman’s desire to -achieve familiarity without contempt. If she wants to please she must -retain some scrap of novelty; if she desires our respect she must not -be always in evidence, disclosing the baser side of her character, as -in competition with us she must do—as we do to one another. Mrs. Edmund -Gosse, like “Ouida,” Mrs. Atherton, and all other women of brains, -thinks that the taking of unfair advantages—the lack of magnanimity—is -a leading characteristic of her sex. Mrs. Gosse adds, with reference to -men’s passive acquiescence in this monstrous folly of “emancipation,” -that possibly our quiet may be the calm before the storm; and she -utters this warning, which, also, more strongly, “Ouida” has uttered: -“How would it be with us if the men should suddenly rise _en masse_ and -throw the whole surging lot of us into convents and harems?” - -It is not likely that men will “rise _en masse_” to undo the mischief -wrought by noisy protagonists of woman suffrage working like beavers -to rear their airy fad upon the sandy foundation of masculine tolerance -and inattention. No rising will be needed. All that is required for -the wreck of their hopes is for a wave of reason to slide a little -farther up the sands of time, “loll out its large tongue, lick the -whole labor flat.” The work has prospered so far only because nobody -but its promoters has taken it seriously. It has not engaged attention -from those having the knowledge and the insight to discern beneath its -cap-and-bells and the motley that is its only wear a serious menace to -all that civilized men hold precious in woman. It is of the nature of -men—themselves cheerful polygamists, with no penitent intentions—to set -a high value upon chastity in woman. (We need not point out why they -do so; those to whom the reasons are not clear can profitably remain -in the valley of the shadow of ignorance.) Valuing it, they purpose -having it, or some considerable numerical presumption of it. As they -perceive that in a general way women are virtuous in proportion to the -remoteness of their lives and interests from the lives and interests of -men—their seclusion from the influences of which men’s own vices are -a main part—an easy and peaceful means will doubtless be found for -repression of the shouters. - -In the orchestration of mind, woman’s instruments might have kept -silence without injury to the volume and quality of the music; efface -the impress of her touch upon the world, and by those who come later -the blank must be diligently sought. Go to the top of any large city -and look about and below. It is not much that you will see, but it -represents an amazing advance from the conditions of primitive man. -Nowhere in the wide survey will you see the work of woman. It is all -the work of men’s hands, and before it was wrought into form and -substance, existed as conscious creations in men’s brains. Concealed -within the visible forms of buildings and ships—themselves miracles of -thought—lie such wonder-worlds of invention and discovery as no human -life is long enough to explore, no human understanding capacious enough -to hold in knowledge. If, like Asmodeus, we could rive the roofs and -see woman’s part of this prodigious exhibition—the things that she has -actually created with her brain—what kind of display would it be? It is -probable that all the intellectual energy expended by women from first -to last would not have sufficed, if directed into one channel, for the -genesis and evolution of the modern bicycle. - -“There is no sex in brain,” says the Female Militant. I beg her pardon: -there is sex in every organ, every tissue, every cell and atom of -the human body; but in nothing do men and women differ so widely, so -conspicuously, so essentially as in mind. They think after altogether -different methods; their mental processes are to a clear and competent -observation without resemblance to ours. So different is the mental -constitution of the two sexes that whereas all see not mainly with the -eye, but with the judgment, the understanding, even the outer aspect of -things is, I am persuaded, not the same to a woman that it is to a man. -I have taken some trouble to test this theory, with results of the most -interesting character, which I purpose giving to the world some day. It -is my conviction that if a man who had lived all his life in New York -were to become a woman while passing along Broadway she would be unable -to find her way home without inquiry. - -I once heard a woman who had playfully competed with men in a jumping -match gravely attribute her defeat to the trammeling of her skirt. -Similarly, women are pleased to explain their penury of mental -achievement by repressive education and custom. But even in regions -where they have ever had full freedom of the quarries they have not -builded themselves monuments. Nobody, for example, is holding them from -greatness in poetry, which needs no special education, and music, in -which they have always been specially educated; yet where is the great -poem by a woman? where the great musical composition? In the grammar of -literature what is the feminine of Homer, of Shakspeare, of Goethe, of -Hugo? What female names are the equivalents of the names of Beethoven, -Mozart, Chopin, Wagner? Women are not musicians—they “sing and play.” -In short, if woman had no better claim to respect and affection than -her brain; no sweeter charms than those of her reason; no means of -suasion but her power upon men’s convictions, she would long ago have -been “improved off the face of the earth.” As she is, men accord her -such homage as is compatible with contempt, such immunities as are -consistent with control; but whereas she is not altogether filled with -light, and is, moreover, imperfectly reverent, it is but right that in -obedience to scriptural injunction she keep silence in our churches -while we are worshipping Ourselves. - -She will not have it so, the good, good girl; as moral as the best of -us, she will be as intellectual as the rest of us. She will have out -her little taper and set the rivers of thought all ablaze, legging it -over the land from stream to stream till all are fired. She will widen -her sphere, forsooth, herself no wider than before. It is not enough -that we have edified her a pedestal and perform impossible rites in -celebration of her altitude and distinction. It does not suffice that -with never a smile we assure her that she is the superior sex. That she -is indubitably gifted with pulchritude and an unquestionable genius for -its embellishing; that Nature has endowed her with a prodigious knack -at accroachment, whereby the male of her species is lured to a suitable -doom—this does not satisfy her. No; she has taken unto herself in these -evil days that “intelligent discontent” which giveth its beloved fits. -To her flock of graces and virtues she must add our one poor ewe lamb -of brains. Well, I tell her that intellect is a monster which devours -beauty; that the woman of exceptional mind is exceptionally masculine -in face, figure, action. And so, with a reluctant farewell to Lovely -Woman, I humbly withdraw from her presence and hasten to overtake the -receding periphery of her “sphere.” - -One moment more, mesdames: I crave leave to estop your disfavor—which -were affliction and calamity—by “defining my position” in the words -of one of yourselves, who has said of me (though with reprehensible -exaggeration, believe me) that I hate woman and love women—have an -acute animosity to your sex, adoring each individual member of it. What -matters my opinion of your understandings so long as I am in bondage to -your charms? Moreover, there is one service of incomparable utility and -dignity for which I esteem you eminently fit—to be mothers of men. - - - - - A MAD WORLD - - -Let us suppose that in tracing its cycloidal curves through the -unthinkable reaches of space traversed by the solar system our planet -should pass through a “belt” of attenuated matter having the property -of dementing us! It is a conception easily enough entertained. That -space is full of malign conditions incontinuously distributed; that -we are at one time traversing a zone comparatively innocuous and at -another spinning through a region of infection; that away behind us in -the wake of our swirling flight are fields of plague and pain still -agitated by our passage through them,—all this is as good as known. It -is almost as certain as it is that in our little annual circle round -the sun are points at which we are stoned and brickbatted like a pig -in a potato-patch—pelted with little nodules of meteoric metal flung -like gravel, and bombarded with gigantic masses hurled by God knows -what? What strange adventures await us in those yet untraveled regions -toward which we speed?—into what malign conditions may we not at any -time plunge?—to the strength and stress of what frightful environment -may we not at last succumb? The subject lends itself readily enough to -a jest, but I am not jesting: it is really altogether probable that our -solar system, racing through space with inconceivable velocity, will -one day enter a region charged with something deleterious to the human -brain, minding us all madwise. - -By the way, dear reader, did you ever happen to consider the -possibility that you are a lunatic, and perhaps confined in an asylum? -It seems to you that you are not—that you go with freedom where you -will, and use a sweet reasonableness in all your works and ways; but to -many a lunatic it seems that he is Rameses II, or the Holkar of Indore. -Many a plunging maniac, ironed to the floor of a cell, believes himself -the Goddess of Liberty careering gaily through the Ten Commandments in -a chariot of gold. Of your own sanity and identity you have no evidence -that is any better than he has of his. More accurately, I have none of -mine; for anything I know, you do not exist, nor any one of all the -things with which I think myself familiarly conscious. All may be -fictions of my disordered imagination. I really know of but one reason -for doubting that I am an inmate of an asylum for the insane—namely, -the probability that there is nowhere any such thing as an asylum for -the insane. - -This kind of speculation has charms that get a good neck-hold upon -attention. For example, if I am really a lunatic, and the persons -and things that I seem to see about me have no objective existence, -what an ingenious though disordered imagination I must have! What a -clever _coup_ it was to invent Mr. Rockefeller and clothe him with the -attribute of permanence! With what amusing qualities I have endowed my -laird of Skibo, philanthropist. What a masterpiece of creative humor -is my Fatty Taft, statesman, taking himself seriously, even solemnly, -and persuading others to do the same! And this city of Washington, with -its motley population of silurians, parvenoodles and scamps pranking -unashamed in the light of day, and its saving contingent of the -forsaken righteous, their seed begging bread,—did Rabelais’ exuberant -fancy ever conceive so—but Rabelais is, perhaps, himself a conception. - -Surely he is no common maniac who has wrought out of nothing the -history, the philosophies, sciences, arts, laws, religions, politics -and morals of this imaginary world. Nay, the world itself, tumbling -uneasily through space like a beetle’s ball, is no mean achievement, -and I am proud of it. But the mental feat in which I take most -satisfaction, and which I doubt not is most diverting to my keepers, is -that of creating Mr. W. R. Hearst, pointing his eyes toward the White -House and endowing him with a perilous Jacksonian ambition to defile -it. The Hearst is distinctly a treasure. - -On the whole, I have done, I think, tolerably well, and when I -contemplate the fertility and originality of my inventions, the queer -unearthliness and grotesque actions of the characters whom I have -evolved, isolated and am cultivating, I cannot help thinking that if -Heaven had not made me a lunatic my peculiar talent might have made me -an entertaining writer. - - - - - THE AMERICAN SYCOPHANT - - - I - -An American writer holds this opinion: - -“If republican government had done nothing else than give independence -to American character and preserve it from the servility inseparable -from allegiance to kings, it would have accomplished a great work.” - -I do not doubt that the writer of that sentence believes that -republican government has actually wrought the change in human nature -that challenges his admiration. He is sure that his countrymen are not -servile; that before rank and power and wealth they stand covered, -maintaining “the godlike attitude of freedom and a man” and exulting in -it. It is not true; it is an immeasurable distance from the truth. We -are as abject toadies as any people on earth—more so than any European -people of similar civilization. When a foreign emperor, king, prince or -nobleman comes among us the rites of servility that we execute in his -honor are baser than any that he ever saw in his own land. - -In his blind and brutal scramble for social recognition in Europe, the -traveling American toady and impostor has many chances of success: he -is commonly unknown even to ministers and consuls of his own country, -and these complaisant gentlemen, rather than incur the risk of erring -on the wrong side, take him at his own valuation and push him in -where, his obscurity being again in his favor, he is treated with -kindly toleration and sometimes a genuine hospitality to which he has -no shadow of right nor title, and which, if he were a gentleman, he -would not accept if it were voluntarily proffered. It should be said in -mitigation that all this delirious abasement in no degree tempers his -rancor against the system of which the foreign notable is the flower -and fruit. He keeps his servility sweet by preserving it in the salt of -vilification. In the character of blatant blackguard the American snob -is so happily disguised that he does not know himself. - -An American newspaper once printed a portrait of her whom the -irreverent Briton had a reprehensible habit of designating colloquially -as “The Old Lady.” But the editor in question did not so designate -her—his simple American manhood and republican spirit would not admit -that she was a lady. So he contented himself with labeling the portrait -“Her Most Gracious Majesty Queen Victoria.” This incident raises an -important question. - -Important Question Raised by This Incident: Is it better to be a -subject and a man, or a citizen and a flunkey?—to own the sway of a -“gory tyrant” and retain one’s self-respect, or dwell, a “sovereign -elector,” in the land of liberty and disgrace it? - -However it may be customary for English newspapers to designate the -British sovereign, they are at least not addicted to sycophancy in -designating the rulers of other countries than their own. They would -not say “his Abracadabral Humptidumptiness Emperor William,” nor “his -Pestilency the Speaker of the American House of Representatives.” -They would not think of calling even the most ornately self-bemedaled -American sovereign elector “his Badgesty.” Of a foreign nobleman they -do not say “his lordship;” they will not admit that he is a lord; -nor when speaking of their own noblemen do they spell “lord” with a -capital L, as we do. In brief, when mentioning foreign dignitaries, -of whatever rank in their own countries, the English press is simply -and serviceably descriptive: the king is a king, the queen a queen, the -jack a jack. - -At the foundation of our political system lies the denial of hereditary -and artificial rank. Our fathers created this government as a protest -against all that, and all that it implies. They virtually declared that -kings and noblemen could not breathe here, and no American loyal to the -principles of the Revolution which made him one will ever say in his -own country “your majesty” or “your lordship”—the words would choke -him, and they ought. - -There are a few of us who keep the faith, who do not bow the knee -to Baäl, who hold fast to what is high and good in the doctrine of -political equality; in whose hearts the altar-fires of rational liberty -are kept aglow, beaconing the darkness of that “illimited inane” -where their countrymen, inaccessible to the light, wander witless in -the bogs of political unreason, alternately adoring and damning the -man-made gods of their own stature. Of that bright band fueling the -bale-fires of political consistency I can not profess myself a member -in good standing. In view of this general recreancy and treason to -the principles that our fathers established by the sword—having in -constant observation this almost universal hospitality to the solemn -nonsense of hereditary rank and unearned distinction, my faith in -practical realization of republican ideals is small, and I falter in -the work of their maintenance in the interest of a people for whom -they are too good. Seeing that we are immune to none of the evils -besetting monarchies, excepting those for which we secretly yearn; -that inequality of fortune and unjust allotment of honors are as -conspicuous among us as elsewhere; that the tyranny of individuals is -as intolerable and that of the public more so; that the law’s majesty -is a dream and its failure a fact—hearing everywhere the footfalls of -disorder and the watchwords of anarchy, I despair of the republic, and -catch in every breeze that blows “a cry prophetic of its fall.” - -I have seen a vast crowd of Americans change color like a field of -waving grain, as it uncovered to do such base homage to a petty -foreign princess as in her own country she had never received. I -have seen full-grown, self-respecting American citizens tremble and -go speechless when spoken to by an Emperor of Brazil. I have seen a -half-dozen American gentlemen in evening clothes trying to outdo one -another in the profundity of their bows in the presence of a nigger -King of Hawaii. I have not seen a Chinese “earl” borne in a chair -by four Americans officially detailed for the disgraceful service, -but it was done, and did not evoke a hiss of disapproval. And I did -not—thank Heaven!—observe the mob of American “simple republicans” that -dogged the heels of a disreputable little Frenchman who is a count by -courtesy only, and those of an English duke quietly attending to his -own business of making a living by being a married man. The republican -New World is no less impested with servility than the monarchical Old. -One form of government may be better than another for this purpose, -or for that; all are alike in the futility of their influence upon -human character. None can affect man’s instinctive abasement in the -contemplation of power and rank. - -Not only are we no less sycophantic than the people of monarchical -countries; we are more so. We grovel before their exalted personages, -and perform in addition a special prostration at the clay feet of our -own idols—which _they_ do not revere. The typical subject, hat-in-hand -to his sovereign and his nobleman, is a less shameful figure than -the citizen executing his genuflexion before the public of which he -is himself a part. No European court journal, no European courtier, -was ever more abject in subservience to the sovereign than are the -American newspaper and the American politician in flattery of the -people. Between the courtier and the demagogue I see nothing to choose. -They are moved by the same sentiment and fired by the same hope. Their -method is flattery, and their purpose profit. Their adulation is not a -testimony to character, but a tribute to power, or the shadow of power. -If this country were governed by its criminal idiots we should have the -same attestations of their goodness and wisdom, the same competition -for their favor, the same solemn doctrine that their voice is the voice -of God. Our children would be brought up to believe that an Idiotocracy -is the only natural and rational form of government. And for my part -I’m not at all sure that it would not be a pretty good political -system, as political systems go. I have always, however, cherished -a secret faith in Smithocracy, which seems to combine the advantages -of both the monarchical and the republican idea. If all the offices -were held for life by Smiths—the senior John being President—we should -have a settled and orderly succession to allay all fears of a perilous -interregnum and a sufficiently wide eligibility to feed the fires of -patriotic ambition. All could not be Smiths, but many could marry into -the family. - - - II - -The Harrison “progress” (notable as precursor to many another) left -its heritage of shame, whereof each abaser would gladly have washed -the hands of him in his neighbor’s basin. All this was in due order -of nature, and was to have been expected. It was a phenomenon of the -same character as, in the loves of the low, the squabbling consequent -upon satiety and shame. We could not slink out of sight; we could not -deny our sycophancy, albeit we might give it another name; but we -could somewhat medicine our impaired self-esteem by dealing damnation -round on one another. The blush of shame turns easily to the glow -of indignation, and many a hatred is kindled at the rosy flame of -self-contempt. Persons conscious of having dishonored themselves are -doubly sensitive to any indignity put upon them by others. The vices -and follies of human nature are interdependent; they are not singly -roused to activity. - -In my judgment, this entire incident of the President’s “tour” was -discreditable to President and people. I do not go into the question -of his motive in making it. Be that what it may, the manner of -it seems to me an outrage upon all the principles and sentiments -underlying republican institutions. In all but the name it was a “royal -progress”—the same costly ostentation, the same civic and military -pomp, the same solemn and senseless adulation, the same abasement of -spirit of the Many before the One. According to republican traditions -ten thousand times a year affirmed in every way in which affirmation -is possible, we fondly persuade ourselves that we hold as a true faith -in the hearts of our hearts that the One is the servant of the Many! -And it is no mere political catchphrase: he _is_ their servant; he _is_ -their creature; all that in him to which they grovel (dignifying and -justifying their instinctive and inherited servility by names as false -as anything in ceremonial imposture) they themselves have made, as -truly as the heathen has made the wooden god before which he performs -his unmanly rite. It is precisely this thing—the superiority of the -people to their servants—that constitutes, and was by our fathers -understood to constitute, the essential, fundamental difference between -the system which they uprooted and the one which they planted in its -stead. Deluded men! how little they guessed the length and strength -and vitality of the roots left in the soil of the centuries when the -noxious harvestage had been cast as rubbish to the void! - -I am no contestant for forms of government—no believer in either -the excellence or the permanence of any that has yet been devised. -That all men are created equal, in the best and highest sense of -the phrase, I hold, not as I observe it held by others, but as a -living faith. That an officeholder is a servant of the people; that -I am his political superior, owing him no deference, but entitled to -such deference from him as may be serviceable to keep him in mind of -his subordination—these are propositions which command my assent, -which I _feel_ to be true and which determine the character of my -personal relations with those whom they concern. That I should give my -hand, or bend my neck, or uncover my head to any man in mere homage -to, or recognition of, his office, great or small, is to me simply -inconceivable. These tricks of servility with the softened names -are the vestiges of an involuntary allegiance to power extraneous -to the performer. They represent in our American life obedience -and propitiation in their most primitive and odious forms. The man -who speaks of them as manifestations of a proper respect for “the -President’s great office” is either a rogue, a dupe or a journalist. -They come to us out of a fascinating but terrible past as survivals -of servitude. They speak a various language of oppression and the -superstition of man-worship; they carry forward the traditions of the -sceptre and the lash. Through the plaudits of the people may be heard -always the faint, far cry of the beaten slave. - -Respect? Respect the good. Respect the wise. Let the President look -to it that he belongs to one of these classes. His going about the -country in gorgeous state and barbaric splendor as the guest of a -thieving corporation, but at our expense—shining and dining and -swining—unsouling himself of clotted nonsense in pickled platitudes -calculated for the meridian of Coon Hollow, Indiana, but ingeniously -adapted to each water tank on the line of his absurd “progress,” does -not prove it, and the presumption of his “great office” is against him. - -Can you not see, poor misguided “fellow citizens,” how you permit your -political taskmasters to forge leg-chains of your follies and load you -down with them? Will nothing teach you that all this fuss-and-feathers, -all this ceremony, all this official gorgeousness and brass-banding, -this “manifestation of a proper respect for the nation’s head” has no -decent place in American life and American politics? Will no experience -open your stupid eyes to the fact that these shows are but absurd -imitations of royalty, to hold you silly while you are plundered by the -managers of the performance?—that while you toss your greasy caps in -air and sustain them by the ascending current of your senseless hurrahs -the programmers are going through your blessed pockets and exploiting -your holy dollars? No; you feel secure; power is of the People, and -you can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable -privilege—to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And -you can not even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those -designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles in -stock! But then you are not “subjects;” you are “citizens”—there is -much in that. Your tyrant is not a “king;” he is a “president.” He -does not occupy a “throne,” but a “chair.” He does not succeed to it -by inheritance; he is pitchforked into it by the boss. Altogether, you -are distinctly better off than the Russian mujik who wears his shirt -outside his trousers and has never shaken hands with the Czar in all -his life. - - - III - -I hold that kings and noblemen can not breathe in America. When they -set foot upon our soil their royalty and their nobility fall away from -them like the chains of a slave in England. Whatever a man may be in -his own country, here he is only a man. My countrymen may do as they -please, but I make a stand for simple American manhood. I will meet -no man on this soil who expects from me a greater deference than I -could properly accord to a citizen of my own country. My allegiance -to republican institutions is slack through lack of faith in them as -a practical system of governing men as men are; all the same, I will -call no man “your majesty,” nor “your lordship.” For me to meet in my -own country a king or a nobleman would require as much preliminary -negotiation as an official interview between the Mufti of Moosh and -the Ahkoond of Swat. The form of salutation and the style and title of -address would have to be settled definitively and with precision. - -With some of my most esteemed and patriotic friends the matter is more -simple; their generosity in concession fills me with admiration and -their forbearance in demand challenges my astonishment as one of the -seven wonders of American hospitality. In fancy I see the ceremony of -their “presentation,” and as examples of simple republican dignity I -commend their posture to the youth of this fair New World, inviting -particular attention to the grand, bold curves of character shown in -the outlines of the human ham. - - - - - DOG - - - I - -Of all anachronisms and survivals the love of the dog is the most -reasonless. Because, some thousands of years ago, when we all wore -other skins than our own and sat enthroned upon our haunches, tearing -tangles of tendons from raw bones with our teeth, the dog ministered -purveyorwise to our savage needs, we go on cherishing him to this day, -when his only function is to lie sun-soaken on a door mat and insult -us as we pass in and out enamored of his fat superfluity. One dog in a -thousand earns his bread—and takes beefsteak; the other nine hundred -and ninety-nine we maintain in the style suitable to their state by -cheating the poor. - -The trouble with the modern dog is that he is the same old dog. Not -an inch has the rascal advanced along the line of evolution. We have -ceased to squat upon our naked haunches and gnaw raw bones, but this -companion of the childhood of the race, this vestigial remnant of -_juventus mundi_, this dismal anachronism, this veteran inharmony in -the scheme of things, the dog, has abated no jot nor tittle of his -unthinkable objectionableness since the morning stars sang together -and he had sat up all night to deflate a lung at the performance. -Possibly he may some time be improved otherwise than by effacement, -but at present he is still in that early stage of reform that is not -inconsistent with a mouthful of reformer. - -The dog is a detestable quadruped. He knows more ways to be -unmentionable than can be named in seven languages. The word “dog” is -a term of contempt the world over, as in the Scriptures. Poets have -sung and prosaists have prosed of the virtues of individual dogs, but -nobody has had the hardihood to eulogize the species. No man loves the -Dog; one loves his own dog, and there stops; the force of perverted -affection can no further go. He loves his own dog partly because that -thrifty creature, ever cadging when not marauding, tickles his vanity -by fawning upon him as the visible source of steaks and bones; and -partly because the graceless beast insults everybody else, harming as -many as he dares. - -The dog is an encampment of fleas, and a reservoir of sinful smells. -He is prone to bad manners as the sparks fly upward. He has no -discrimination; his loyalty is given to the person that feeds him, -be the same a blackguard or a murderer. He fights for his master -without regard to the justice of the quarrel—wherein he is no better -than a patriot or a soldier. There are men who are proud of a dog’s -love—and dogs love that kind of men. There are men who, having the -privilege of loving women, insult them by loving dogs; and there are -women who forgive and respect their canine rivals. Women, I am told, -are true cynolaters; they adore not only dogs, but Dog—not only their -own horrible little beasts, but those of others. But women will love -anything; they even love men who love dogs. I sometimes wonder how -it is that of all our women among whom the dog fad is prevalent none -has incurred the husband fad, or the child fad. Possibly there are -exceptions, but it seems to be a rule that the female heart which has -a dog in it is without other lodgers. There is not, probably, a very -wild and importunate demand for accommodation. For my part, I do not -know which is the less desirable, the tenant or the tenement. There -are dogs that submit to be kissed by women base enough to kiss them; -but they have a secret, coarse revenge. For the dog is a joker, withal, -gifted with as much humor as is consistent with biting. - -Miss Louise Imogen Guiney has replied to Mrs. Meynell’s proposal to -abolish the dog—a proposal which Miss Guiney has the originality to -call “original.” Divested of its “literature,” Miss Guiney’s plea for -the defendant consists, essentially, of the following assertions: (1) -Dogs are whatever their masters are. (2) They bite only those who fear -them. (3) Really vicious dogs are not found nearer than Constantinople. -(4) Only wronged dogs go mad, and hydrophobia is retaliation. (5) -In actions for damages for dog-bites judicial prejudice is against -the dog. (6) Dogs are continually saving children from death. (7) -Association with dogs begets piety, tenderness, mercy, loyalty, and so -forth; in brief, the dog is an elevating influence: “to walk modestly -at a dog’s heels is a certificate of merit!” As to that last, if -Miss Guiney had ever had the educating good fortune to observe the -dog himself walking modestly at the heels of another dog she would -perhaps have wished that it were not the custom of her sex to seal the -certificate of merit with a kiss. - -In all this absurd woman’s statements, thus fairly epitomized, there -is not one that is true—not one of which the essential falsity is not -evident, obvious, conspicuous to even the most delinquent observation. -Yet with the smartness and smirk of a graduating seminary girl refuting -Epicurus she marshals them against the awful truth that every year in -Europe and the United States alone more than one thousand human beings -die of hydrophobia—a fact which her controversial conscience does not -permit her to mention. The names on this needless death-roll are mostly -those of small folk, the sins of whose parents in cherishing their own -hereditary love of dogs is visited upon their children because these -have not the intelligence and agility to get out of the way. Or perhaps -they lack that tranquil courage upon which Miss Guiney relies to avert -the canine tooth from her own inedible shank. - -Finally this amusing illogician, this type and example of the female -controversialist, has the hardihood to hope that there may be fathers -who can see their children die the horrible death of hydrophobia -without wishing “to exile man’s best ideal of fidelity from the -hearthstones of civilization.” If we must have an “ideal of fidelity” -why not find it, not in the dog that kills the child, but in the father -that kills the dog? The profit of maintaining a standard and pattern -of the virtues (at considerable expense in the case of this insatiable -canine consumer) may be great, but are we so hard pushed that we must -go to the animals for it? In life and letters are there no men and -women whose names kindle enthusiasm and emulation? Is fidelity, is -devotion, is self-sacrifice unknown among ourselves? As a model of the -higher virtues why will not one’s mother serve at a pinch? And what is -the matter with Miss Guiney herself? She is faithful, at least to dogs, -whatever she may be to the hundreds of American children foredoomed to -a death of unthinkable agony from hydrophobia. - -There is perhaps a hope that when the sun’s returning flame shall gild -the hither end of the thirtieth century this savage and filthy brute, -the dog, will have ceased to “banquet on through a whole year” of human -fat and lean; that he will have been gathered to his variously unworthy -fathers to give an account of his deeds done in the body of man. In -the meantime, those of us who have not the enlightened understanding -to be enamored of him may endure with such fortitude as we can command -his feats of tooth among the shins and throats of those who have; we -ourselves are so few that there is a strong numerical presumption of -personal immunity. - -It is well to have a clear understanding of such inconveniences as -may be expected to ensue from dog-bites. That inconveniences and even -discomforts do sometimes flow from, or at least follow, the mischance -of being bitten by dogs, even the sturdiest champion of “man’s best -friend” will admit when not heated by controversy. True, he is -indisposed to sympathy for those incurring the inconveniences and -discomforts, but against this apparent incompassion may be offset his -indubitable sympathy with the dog. No one is altogether heartless. - -Amongst the several disadvantages of a close personal connection with -the canine tooth, the disorder known as hydrophobia has long held an -undisputed primacy. The existence of this ailment is attested by so -many witnesses, many of whom, belonging to the profession of medicine, -speak with a certain authority, that even the breeders and lovers -of snap-dogs are compelled reluctantly to concede it, though as a -rule they stoutly deny that it is imparted by the dog. In their view, -hydrophobia is a theory, not a condition. The patient, even if he is -a babe, imagines himself to have it, and acting upon that unsupported -assumption or hypothesis, suffers and dies in the attempt to square his -conduct with his opinions. It seems there is firmer ground for their -view of the matter than the rest of us have been willing to admit. -There is such a thing, doubtless, as hydrophobia proper, but also there -is such another thing as pseudo-hydrophobia, or hydrophobia improper. - -Pseudo-hydrophobia, the physicians explain, is caused by fear of -hydrophobia. The patient, having been chewed by a healthy and harmless -dog, broods upon his imaginary peril, solicitously watches his -imaginary symptoms and finally persuading himself of their reality, -puts them on exhibition as he understands them. He runs about (when -permitted) on his hands and knees, growls, barks, howls and, in default -of a tail, wags the part of him where it would be if he had it. In a -few days he is gone before, a victim to his lack of confidence in man’s -best friend. - -The number of cases of pseudo-hydrophobia, relative to those of true -hydrophobia, is not definitely known, the medical records having been -imperfectly made and never collated; champions of the snap-dog, as -intimated, believe it is many to nothing. That being so (they argue) -the animal is entirely exonerated and leaves the discussion without a -stain upon his reputation. - -But that is feeble reasoning; even if we grant their premises we can -not embrace their conclusion. In the first place, it hurts to be bitten -by a dog, as the dog himself audibly confesses when bitten by another -dog. Furthermore, pseudo-hydrophobia is quite as fatal as if it were a -legitimate product of the bite, not a result of the terror which that -mischance inspires. - -Human nature being what it is, and well known to the dog to be what -it is, we have a right to expect that the creature will take our -weaknesses into consideration—that he will respect our addiction to -reasonless panic, even as we respect his when, as we commonly do, we -refrain from attaching tinware to his tail. A dog that runs himself -to death to evade a kitchen utensil which could not possibly harm -him, and which if he did not flee would not pursue, is the author -of his own undoing in precisely the same sense as is the victim of -pseudo-hydrophobia. He is slain by a theory. Yet the wicked boy that -set him going is not blameless, and no one would be so zealous and -strenuous in his prosecution as the cynolater, the adorer of dogs, the -person who holds them guiltless of pseudo-hydrophobia. - - - II - -Mr. Nicholas Smith, while United States consul at Liege, wrote, or -caused to be written, an official report, wickedly, wilfully and -maliciously designed to abridge the privileges, augment the ills -and impair the honorable status of the domestic dog. In the very -beginning of this report Mr. Smith manifests his animus by stigmatizing -the domestic dog as an “hereditary loafer;” and having “hurled the -allegation,” affirms “the dawn of a (Belgian) new era” wherein the -pampered menial will loaf no more. There is to be no more sun-soaking -on door mats having a southern exposure, no more usurpation of the -warmest segment of the family semicircle, no more personal solicitation -of cheer at the domestic board. The dog’s place in the social scale -is no longer to be determined by considerations of sentiment, but will -be the result of cold commercial calculation, and so fixed as best to -serve the ends of industrial expediency. All this in Belgium, where -the dog is already in active service as a beast of burden and draught; -doubtless the transition to that humble condition from his present and -immemorial social elevation in less advanced countries will be slow and -characterized by bitter factional strife. America, especially, although -ever accessible to the infection of new and profitable ideas, will be -slow to accept so radical a subversion of a social superstructure that -almost may be said to rest upon the domestic dog as a basic verity. - -The dogs are our only true “leisure class” (even our tramps are -sometimes compelled to engage in such simple industries as are possible -in the county jail) and we are justly proud of them. Dogs toil not, -neither spin, yet Solomon in all his glory was not a dog. Instead of -making them hewers of wood and drawers of water, it would be more -consonant with the Anglomaniacal and general Old World spirit, now -so dominant in the councils of the nation, to make them “hereditary -legislators.” And Mr. Smith must permit me to add, with a special -significance, that history records an instance of even a horse making a -fairly good consul. - -Mr. Smith avers with obvious satisfaction that in Liege twice as many -draught dogs as horses are seen in the streets, attached to vehicles. -He regards “a gaily painted cart” drawn by “a well fed dog” and driven -by a well fed (and gaily painted) woman as a “pleasing vision.” I do -not; I should prefer to see the dog sitting at the receipt of steaks -and chops and the lady devoting herself to the amelioration of the -condition of the universe and the manufacture of poetry and stories -that are not true. A more pleasing vision, too, one endeared to eye -and heart by immemorial use and wont, is that of stranger and dog -indulging in the pleasures of the chase—stranger a little ahead—while -the woman in the case manifests a characteristically compassionate -solicitude lest the gentleman’s trousers do not match Fido’s mustache. -It is, indeed, impossible to regard with any degree of approval the -degradation to commercial utility of two so noble animals as Dog and -Woman; and if Man had joined them together by driving-reins I should -hope that God would put them asunder, even if the reins were held -by Dog. There would no doubt be a distinct gain as well as a certain -artistic fitness in unyoking the strong-minded female of our species -from the chariot of progress and yoking her to the apple-cart or -fish-wagon, but imminence of the draughtwoman is not foreshadowed in -the report of our consul at Liege. - -Mr. Smith’s estimate of the number of dogs in this country at seven -millions is a moderate one, it must be confessed, and can hardly have -been based on observations by moonlight in a suburban village; his -estimate of the effective strength of the average dog at five hundred -pounds is probably about right, as will be attested by any intelligent -boy who in a campaign against an orchard has experienced detention by -the Cerberus of the place. Taking his own figures, Mr. Smith calculates -that we have in this country three-and-a-half billion pounds of “idle -dog power.” But this statement is more ingenious than ingenuous; it -gives, as doubtless it was intended to give, the impression that we -have only idle dogs, whereas of all mundane forces the domestic dog is -most easily stirred to action. His expense of energy in pursuit of the -harmless, necessary flea, for example, is prodigious; and he is not -infrequently seen in chase of his own tail, with an activity scarcely -inferior. If there is anything worth while in accepted theories of the -conversion and conservation of force these gigantic energies are by no -means wasted; they reappear as heat, light and electricity, modifying -climate, reducing gas bills and assisting in propulsion of street cars. -Even in baying the moon and terrifying visitors and bypassers, the dog -releases a certain amount of vibratory force which through various -mutations of its wave-length may do its part in cooking a steak or -gratifying the olfactory nerve by throwing fresh perfume on the violet. -Evidently the commercial advantages of deposing the dog from his -position of Exalted Personage and subduing him to that of Motor would -not be all clear gain. He would no longer have the spirit to send, -Whitmanwise, his barbarous but beneficent yawp over the housetops, -nor the leisure to throw off vast quantities of energy by centrifugal -efforts at the conquest of his tail. As to the fleas, he would accept -them with apathetic satisfaction as preventives of thought upon his -fallen fortunes. - -Having observed with attention and considered with seriousness, a -respectable authority declares his conviction that the dog, as we have -the happiness to know him, is dreadfully bored by civilization. This -is one of the gravest accusations that the friends of progress and -light have been called out to meet—a challenge that it is impossible to -ignore and unprofitable to evade; for the dog as we have the happiness -to know him is the only dog that we have the happiness really to know. -The wolf is hardly a dog within the meaning of the law, nor is the -scalp-yielding coyote, whether he howls or merely sings and plays the -piano; moreover, these are beyond the pale of civilization and outside -the scope of our sympathies. - -With the dog it is different. His place is among us; he is with us and -of us—a part of our life and love. If we are maintaining and promoting -a condition of things that fatigues him it is befitting that we mend -our ways lest, shaking the carpet dust from his feet and the tenderloin -steaks from his teeth, he depart from our midst and connect himself -with the enchanted life of the thrilling barbarian. We can not afford -to lose him. The cynophobes may call him a “survival” and sneer at his -exhausted mandate—albeit, as Darwin points out, they are indebted for -their sneer to his own habit of uncovering his teeth to bite; they -may seek to cast opprobrium upon the nature of our affection for him -by pronouncing it hereditary—a bequest from our primitive ancestors, -for whom he performed important service in other ways than depriving -visitors of their tendons; but quite the same we should miss him at -his meal time and in the (but for him) silent watches of the night. -We should miss his bark and his bite, the feel of his forefeet upon -our shirt-fronts, the frou-frou of his dusty sides against our nether -habiliments. More than all, we should miss and mourn that visible -yearning for chops and steaks, which he has persuaded us to accept as -the lovelight of his eye and a tribute to our personal worth. We must -keep the dog, and to that end find means to abate his weariness of us -and our ways. - -Doubtless much might be done to reclaim our dogs from their uncheerful -state of mind by abstention from debate on the protective tariff; -by excluding them from the churches, at least during the sermons; -by keeping them off the streets and out of hearing when rites of -prostration are in performance before visiting notables; by forbidding -anyone to read aloud in their hearing the more phrenetic articles in -the newspapers, and by educating them to the belief that labor and -capital are illusions. A limitation of the annual output of popular -novels would undoubtedly reduce the dejection, which could be still -further mitigated by abolition of the more successful magazines. If -the dialect story or poem could be prohibited, under severe penalties, -the sum of night-howling (erroneously attributed to lunar influence) -would experience an audible decrement, which, also, would enable the -fire department to augment its own uproar without reproach. There -is, indeed, a considerable number of ways in which we might effect a -double reform—promoting the advantage of Man, as well as medicating the -mental fatigue of Dog. For another example, it would be “a boon and a -blessing to men” if society would put to death, or at least banish, the -millman or manufacturer who persists in apprising the entire community -many times a day by means of a steam whistle that it is time for his -oppressed employees (every one of whom has a gold watch) to go to work -or to leave off. Such things not only make a dog tired, they make a -man mad. They answer with an accented affirmative Truthful James’s -plaintive inquiry, - - Is civilization a failure, - Or is the Caucasian played out? - -Unquestionably, from his advantageous point of view as a looker-on at -the game, the dog is justified in the conviction that they are. - - - - - THE ANCESTRAL BOND - - -A well-known citizen of Ohio once discovered another man of the same -name exactly resembling him, and writing a “hand” which, including -the signature, he was unable to distinguish from his own. The two men -were unable to discover any blood relationship between them. It is -nevertheless almost certain that a relationship existed, though it -may have been so remote a degree that the familiar term “forty-second -cousin” would not have exaggerated the slenderness of the tie. The -phenomena of heredity seem to me to have been inattentively noted, its -laws imperfectly understood, even by Herbert Spencer and the prophets. -My own small study in this amazing field convinces me that a man is -the sum of his ancestors; that his character, moral and intellectual, -is determined before his birth. His environment with all its varied -suasions, its agencies of good and evil; breeding, training, interest, -experience and the rest of it—have less to do with the matter and can -not annul the sentence passed upon him at conception, compelling him -to be what he is. - -Man is the hither end of an immeasurable line extending back to the -ultimate Adam—or, as we scientists prefer to name him, Protoplasmos. -Man travels, not the mental road that he would, but the one that he -must—is pushed this way and that by the resultant of all the forces -behind him; for each member of the ancestral line, though dead, yet -pusheth. In one of what Dr. Holmes calls his “medicated novels,” _The -Guardian Angel_, this truth is most admirably and lucidly set forth -with abundant instance and copious exposition. Upon another work of -his—in which he erroneously affirms the influence of circumstance and -environment—let us lay a charitable hand and fling it into the fire. - -Clearly all a man’s ancestors have not equal power in shaping his -character. Conceiving them, according to our figure, as arranged in -line behind him and influential in the ratio of their individuality, -we shall get the best notion of their method by supposing them to have -taken their places in an order somewhat independent of chronology -and a little different from their arrangement behind his brother. -Immediately at his back, with a controlling hand (a trifle skinny) -upon him, may stand his great-grandmother, while his father may be many -removes arear. Or the place of power may be held by some fine old Asian -gentleman who flourished before the confusion of tongues on the plain -of Shinar; or by some cave-dweller who polished the bone of life in -Bythynia and was perhaps a respectable and honest troglodyte. - -Sometimes a whole platoon of ancestors appears to have been moved -backward or forward _en bloc_, not, we may be sure, capriciously, but -in obedience to some law that we do not understand. I know a man to -whose character not an ancestor since the seventeenth century appears -to have contributed an element. Intellectually he is a contemporary of -John Dryden, whom naturally he reveres as the greatest of poets. There -was another who inherited his handwriting from his great-grandfather, -although trained to “the Spencerian system” that he tried vainly to -acquire. Furthermore, his handwriting followed the same order of -progressive development as that of his great-grandfather. At the age -of twenty he wrote exactly as that ancestor did at the same age, and, -although at forty-five his chirography was nothing like what it was -even ten years before, it was accurately like his great-grandfather’s -at forty-five. Discovery of some old letters showed him how his -great-grandfather wrote, and accounted for the dissimilarity of his own -handwriting to that of any known member of his family, or his teachers. - -To suppose that such individual traits as the configuration of the -body, the color of the hair and eyes, the shape of hands and feet, the -thousand-and-one subtle characteristics that make family resemblances, -are transmissible, and that the form, texture and capacities of -the brain which fix the kind and degree of natural intellect, are -_not_ transmissible, is illogical. We see that certain actions, such -as gestures, gait, and so forth, resulting from the most complex -concurrences of brain, nerves and muscles, are hereditary. Is it -reasonable to suppose that the brain alone of all the organs performs -its work according to its own sweet will, free from congenital -tendencies? Is it not a familiar fact that racial characteristics -are persistent?—that one race is stupid and indocile, another quick -and intelligent? Does not each generation of a race inherit the -intellectual qualities of the preceding generation? How could this be -true of generations if it were not true of individuals? - -As to stirpiculture, the intelligent and systematic breeding of men and -women with a view to improvement of the species—it is a thing of the -far future. It is hardly in sight. Yet, what splendid possibilities -it carries! Two or three generations of as careful breeding as we -bestow on horses, dogs and pigeons would do more good than all the -penal, reformatory and educating agencies of the world accomplish in -a thousand years. It is the one direction in which human effort to -“elevate the race” can be assured of a definitive, speedy and adequate -success. It is hardly better than nonsense to prate of any good coming -to the race through (for example) medical science, which is mainly -concerned in reversing the beneficent operation of natural laws and -saving the inefficient to perpetuate their inefficiency. Our entire -system of charities is open to the same objection; it preserves the -incapables whom Nature is trying to “weed out.” This not only debases -the race physically, intellectually and morally, but constantly -increases the rate of debasement. The proportion of criminals, paupers -and the several kinds of “inmates” augments its horrible percentage -yearly. On the other hand, our wars destroy the capable; so thus we -make inroads upon the vitality of the race from two directions. We -preserve the feeble and extirpate the strong. He who in view of this -amazing folly can believe in a constant, even slow, progress of the -human race toward perfection ought to be happy. He has a mind whose -Olympian heights are inaccessible—the Titans of fact can never scale -them to storm its ancient, solitary reign. - - - - - THE RIGHT TO WORK - - -All kinds of relief, charitable or other, doubtless tend to -perpetuation of pauperism, inasmuch as paupers are thereby kept -alive; and living paupers unquestionably propagate their unthrifty -kind more diligently than dead ones. It is not true, though, that -relief interferes with Nature’s beneficent law of the survival of the -fittest, for the power to excite sympathy and obtain relief is a kind -of fitness. I am still a devotee of the homely primitive doctrine -that mischance, disability or even unthrift, is not a capital crime -justly and profitably punishable by starvation. I still regard the Good -Samaritan with a certain toleration and Jesus Christ’s tenderness to -the poor as something more than a policy of obstruction. - -Who is more truly “deserving” than an able-bodied man out of work -through no delinquency of will and no default of effort? Is hunger to -him and his less poignant than to the feeble in body and mind whom we -support for nothing in almshouse or asylum? Are cold and exposure less -disagreeable to him than to them? Is not his claim to the right to live -as valid as theirs if backed by the will to pay for life with work? -And in denial of his claim is there not latent a far greater peril to -society than inheres in denial of theirs? So unfortunate and dangerous -a creature as a man able and willing to work, yet having no work to do, -should be unknown outside the literature of satire. Doubtless there -would be enormous difficulties in devising a practicable and beneficent -system, and doubtless the reform, like all permanent and salutary -reforms, will have to grow. The growth, naturally, will be delayed by -opposition of the workingmen themselves—precisely as they oppose prison -labor from ignorance that labor makes opportunity to labor. - -It matters not that nine in ten of all our tramps and vagrants are such -from choice, and are irreclaimable degenerates as well; so long as one -worthy man is out of employment and unable to obtain it our duty is to -provide it by law. Nay, so long as industrial conditions are such that -so pathetic a phenomenon is possible we have not the moral right to -disregard that possibility. The right to employment being the right -to life, its denial is, in a sense, homicide. It should be needless -to point out the advantages of its concession. It would preserve the -life and self-respect of him who is needy through misfortune, and -supply an infallible means of detection of his criminal imitator, -who could then be dealt with as he deserves, without the lenity that -finds justification in doubt and compassion. It would diminish crime, -for an empty stomach has no morals. With a wage rate lower than the -commercial, it would disturb no private industries by luring away their -workmen, and with nothing made to sell, there would be no competition -with private products. Properly directed, it would give us much that we -shall not otherwise have. - -It is difficult to say if our laws relating to vagrancy and vagrants -are more cruel or more absurd. If not so atrocious they would evoke -laughter; if less ridiculous we should read them with indignation. Here -is an imaginary conversation: - -THE LAW: It is forbidden to you to rob. It is forbidden to you to -steal. It is forbidden to you to beg. - -THE VAGRANT: Being without money, and denied employment, I am compelled -to obtain food, shelter and clothing in one of these ways, else I -shall be hungry and cold. - -THE LAW: That is no affair of mine. Yet I am considerate—you are -permitted to be as hungry as you like and as cold as may suit you. - -THE VAGRANT: Hungry and cold, yes, and many thanks to you; but if I -go naked I am arrested for indecent exposure. You require me to wear -clothing. - -THE LAW: You’ll admit that you need it. - -THE VAGRANT: But not that you provide a way for me to get it. No one -will give me shelter at night; you forbid me to sleep in a straw stack. - -THE LAW: Ungrateful man! We provide a cell. - -THE VAGRANT: Even when I obey you, starving all day and freezing all -night, and holding my tongue about it, I am liable to arrest for being -“without visible means of support.” - -THE LAW: A most reprehensible condition. - -THE VAGRANT: One thing has been overlooked—a legal punishment for -soliciting work. - -THE LAW: True; I am not perfect. - - - - - TAKING ONESELF OFF - - -A person who loses heart and hope through a personal bereavement is -like a grain of sand on the seashore complaining that the tide has -washed a neighboring grain out of sight. He is worse, for the bereaved -grain can not help itself; it has to be a grain of sand and play -the game of tide, win or lose; whereas he can quit—by watching his -opportunity can “quit a winner.” For sometimes we do beat “the man that -keeps the table”—never in the long run, but infrequently and out of -small stakes. But this is no time to “cash in” and go, for you can not -take your little winning with you. The time to quit is when you have -lost a big stake, your foolish hope of eventual success, your fortitude -and your love of the game. If you stay in the game, which you are not -compelled to do, take your losses in good temper and do not whine about -them. They are hard to bear, but that is no reason why you should be. - -But we are told with tiresome iteration that we are “put here” -for some purpose (not disclosed) and have no right to retire until -“summoned”—it may be by small-pox, it may be by the bludgeon of a -blackguard, it may be by the kick of a cow; the “summoning” Power (said -to be the same as the “putting” Power) has not a nice taste in the -choice of messengers. That argument is not worth attention, for it is -unsupported by either evidence or anything resembling evidence. “Put -here.” Indeed! And by the keeper of the table! We were put here by -our parents—that is all that anybody knows about it; and they had no -authority and probably no intention. - -The notion that we have not the right to take our own lives comes of -our consciousness that we have not the courage. It is the plea of the -coward—his excuse for continuing to live when he has nothing to live -for—or his provision against such a time in the future. If he were not -egotist as well as coward he would need no excuse. To one who does not -regard himself as the center of creation and his sorrows as throes of -the universe, life, if not worth living, is also not worth leaving. The -ancient philosopher who was asked why he did not die if, as he taught, -life was no better than death, replied: “Because death is no better -than life.” We do not know that either proposition is true, but the -matter is not worth considering, for both states are supportable—life -despite its pleasures and death despite its repose. - -It was Robert G. Ingersoll’s opinion that there is rather too little -than too much suicide in the world—that people are so cowardly as to -live on long after endurance has ceased to be a virtue. This view -is but a return to the wisdom of the ancients, in whose splendid -civilization suicide had as honorable place as any other courageous, -reasonable and unselfish act. Antony, Brutus, Cato, Seneca—these -were not of the kind of men to do deeds of cowardice and folly. The -smug, self-righteous modern way of looking upon the act as that of a -craven or a lunatic is the creation of priests, philistines and women. -If courage is manifest in endurance of profitless discomfort it is -cowardice to warm oneself when cold, to cure oneself when ill, to drive -away mosquitoes, to go in when it rains. The “pursuit of happiness,” -then, is not an “unalienable right,” for it implies avoidance of pain. - -No principle is involved in this matter; suicide is justifiable or -not, according to circumstances; each case is to be considered on its -merits, and he having the act under advisement is sole judge. To his -decision, made with whatever light he may chance to have, all honest -minds will bow. The appellant has no court to which to take his appeal. -Nowhere is a jurisdiction so comprehensive as to embrace the right of -condemning the wretched to life. - -Suicide is always courageous. We call it courage in a soldier merely to -face death—say to lead a forlorn hope—although he has a chance of life -and a certainty of “glory.” But the suicide does more than face death; -he incurs it, and with a certainty, not of glory, but of reproach. If -that is not courage we must reform our vocabulary. - -True, there may be a higher courage in living than in dying. The -courage of the suicide, like that of the pirate, is not incompatible -with a selfish disregard of the rights of others—a cruel recreancy to -duty and decency. I have been asked: “Do you not think it cowardly -for a man to end his life, thereby leaving his family in want?” No, -I do not; I think it selfish and cruel. Is not that enough to say -of it? Must we distort words from their true meaning in order more -effectually to damn the act and cover its author with a greater infamy? -A word means something; despite the maunderings of the lexicographers, -it does not mean whatever you want it to mean. “Cowardice” means a -shrinking from danger, not a shirking of duty. The writer who allows -himself as much liberty in the use of words as he is allowed by the -dictionary-maker and by popular consent is a bad writer. He can make -no impression on his reader, and would do better service at the -ribbon-counter. - -The ethics of suicide is not a simple matter; one can not lay down laws -of universal application, but each case is to be judged, if judged -at all, with a full knowledge of all the circumstances, including -the mental and moral make-up of the person taking his own life—an -impossible qualification for judgment. One’s time, race and religion -have much to do with it. Some peoples, like the ancient Romans and -the modern Japanese, have considered suicide in certain circumstances -honorable and obligatory; among ourselves it is held in disfavor. A -man of sense will not give much attention to considerations of this -kind, excepting in so far as they affect others, but in judging weak -offenders they are to be taken into the account. Speaking generally, -I should say that in our time and country the persons here noted (and -some others) are justified in removing themselves, and that in some of -them it is a duty: - -One afflicted with a painful or loathsome and incurable disease. - -One who is a heavy burden to his friends, with no prospect of their -relief. - -One threatened with permanent insanity. - -One irreclaimably addicted to drunkenness or some similarly destructive -or offensive habit. - -One without friends, property, employment or hope. - -One who has disgraced himself. - -Why do we honor the valiant soldier, sailor, fireman? For obedience to -duty? Not at all; that alone—without the peril—seldom elicits remark, -never evokes enthusiasm. It is because he faced without flinching the -risk of that supreme disaster, or what we feel to be such—death. But -look you: the soldier braves the danger of death; the suicide braves -death itself! The leader of the forlorn hope may not be struck. The -sailor who voluntarily goes down with his ship may be picked up -or cast ashore. It is not certain that the wall will topple until -the fireman shall have descended with his precious burden. But the -suicide—his is the foeman that has never missed a mark, his the sea -that gives nothing back; the wall that he mounts bears no man’s weight. -And his, at the end of it all, is the dishonored grave where the wild -ass of public opinion - - Stamps o’er his head but can not break his sleep. - - - - - A MONUMENT TO ADAM - - -It is believed that every just-minded and right-feeling American will -experience a glow of gratification in the assurance that after ages -of indifference, neglect, and even contumelious disparagement, Adam -is at last to have a monument. The proposal to erect a “suitable -memorial” to the good forefather is singularly touching; in a tranquil, -business-like way it gets a tolerably firm footing in the sympathies -and sentiments of the human heart, quietly occupying the citadel of -the affections before the unready conservatisms of habit, prejudice, -and unreason can recover from their surprise to repel it. It will be -difficult for even the most impenitent obstructionist to utter himself -cogently in opposition; the promoters of the filial scheme will have -the argument as much their own way as have the promoters of temperance, -chastity, truth, and honor. The comparison is ominous, but not entirely -discouraging, inasmuch as the builders of monuments are less dependent -on “right reason and the will of God” than the builders of character. -Stones are not laid in logic; even the men of the plains of Shinar, -desperately wrong-headed as in the light of Revelation we now perceive -them to have been, and ghastly incapable of adding an inch to their -moral stature, succeeded in piling up a fairish testimonial to their -own worth, and would no doubt have achieved the top course had it not -happened that suddenly each appeared to be of a different mind, so -that in the multitude of counselors there was little wisdom. Dr. Noah -Webster being dead—heaven rest him!—and the reporters of the press -being easily propitiated with libations of news, there is not likely to -be any tampering with the American tongue that will not be a distinct -advantage to it; so we may reasonably expect the stones of the Adamite -monument to be appropriately inscribed. Many reasons occur why this -ought to be so. Of Adam, even more than of Washington it may justly be -said that he was “first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts -of his countrymen.” In truth, he was first in everything and all round. - -To the patriot the plan of erecting to him a fitting memorial will -especially commend itself: it is an American, and therefore a -superior, plan. Contrast its glossy originality with the threadbare -second-handedness of the project to import Cleopatra’s other needle! -The religious mind will not fail to discover in the proposal a kind of -special providence for the arrest and eventual overthrow of Infidelity, -against whose dark disciples it will lift a finger of permanent -admonition. Can even the most flippant scoffer look up at the reverend -pile and doubt the Mosaic account of creation? If the architect have -only the sagacity to omit the date of erection, and the subscribers -the self-denial to forego the glory of displaying their names on it, -will not posterity naturally come to think that he whose virtues it -commemorates “reposes beneath”? True, the wily scientist, alarmed -for his theory, or touched with a sentiment of filial piety as _he_ -understands it, may countercheck by building a similar monument to the -recent Ourang-Outang, the remote Ascidian, or the ultimate Bathybius. -He may even have the prudent audacity to put up a stone to the memory -of that unthinkable, and therefore irrefutable, Missing Link—as the -groping pagan of antiquity with his single gleam of spiritual light -erected an altar “To the Unknown God.” If the hardy Evolutionist -do anything of this kind it will be a clear infringement of the -_leges non scriptæ_ of copyright. Justice, religion, and reason alike -will dictate the upsetting of his profane memorial with as little -compunction as the wave felt for Caliban’s designs in the sea-sand. - -That the Adam monument project is seriously entertained there can be no -intelligent doubt: in the list of its founders is publicly mentioned a -name which, for better or for worse, is inseparably linked with that of -the Great Progenitor—the name of Mark Twain, whose sobs at the paternal -tomb have reverberated through the world with an authenticating energy -that makes the erection of the monument a matter of comparatively -trifling importance, after all. - -1878. - - - - - HYPNOTISM - - -We are all hypnotists. Every human being has in some degree the power -to influence the thought and action of another, or some others, by -what we will consent to call “hypnotic suggestion,” though the term, -while serviceable, is inaccurate. Most of us have the power in varying -degrees of feebleness, but few know how to apply what they have of it; -but some have it so strong as to be able to control an unresisting -will. Assent, however, is not always, nor usually, to be inferred -from consent, even when consent is given in good faith; there is such -a thing as unconscious resistance. In those having no knowledge of -hypnotism, resistance is the natural attitude, for they think that -susceptibility to control implies a weak will or a low intelligence, -which is an error. At least the contrary view is supported by my own -observation; and I accept some things, despite the fact that I have -observed them to be true. - -The mysterious force which in its more spectacular manifestations -we call hypnotism, and one form of which is known as “mind-reading,” -is at the back of all kinds and degrees of affection and persuasion. -Why is one person loved better than another person more worthy of -love? Because he has more “personal magnetism.” This term is an old -acquaintance; for many decades we have been using it to signify an -engaging manner. We thought it a figurative expression; that is why it -commended itself to us. But it denotes a fact with literalness; some -persons have a quality, or rather a property, which actually does draw -other persons toward and to them, as a magnet attracts steel; and it -is the same property in magnet and in man, and can be augmented by -the scientific use of apparatus. A favorite “subject” of mine when -blindfolded and turned loose in a room and commanded to find a hidden -object will sometimes fail. But she never fails if the object is a -horse-shoe magnet. - -Did you ever, by oral argument, convince anyone that he was wrong and -you right? Not often, of course, but sometimes, you think. If you are a -member of Congress you are very sure about it; that is what you are a -member of Congress for. I venture to believe that you never did. It was -by unconscious hypnotism that you did the trick. Your argument (on the -cogency and eloquence of which I congratulate you) served only to hold -your victim’s attention to the matter in hand. Without it he might have -thought you wanted him to become a horse, and would indubitably have -neighed and pranced. - -In the Twenty-first Century, doubtless, a legislator will owe his -election to the confidence of his constituents in his ability to exert -this kind of suasion. The candidate who can not by the power of his -unaided eye compel his opponent to eat shoe-blacking and jump over a -broomstick will not have the ghost of a chance at the polls. - -Suppose, madam, that your husband had relied upon argument to convince -you that you ought to marry him. Of course he did have to plead long -and hard—that is conceded; but suppose that while doing so he had -always worn green spectacles. Or suppose that in all his long and -arduous courtship he had never looked you squarely (and impudently) in -the eyes—gloated upon you. I deem it certain, madam, that you would now -be the wife of a wiser man, probably a deaf mute. - -In our present stage of controversial progress speech is not without -a certain clumsy utility. It enables you to apprise your opponent of -the views to which you invite his allegiance. But for the purpose of -inducing him to accept them it is destitute of effect—is not at all -superior to the plunk-plunking of a banjo, or that favorite political -argument, the braying of a brass band. Your success in convincing -another person depends upon (1) the degree of your hypnotic power, (2) -your opportunities of exerting it and (3) his susceptibility to it. In -brief, the business of converting the several kinds of heathens is a -thing which, like checking the too rapid increase of population, cannot -be done by talking. I have tried to show you how it can be done if you -have the gift. If you have not, be thankful, for you will escape much -defamation from those who believe hypnotism a kind of sorcery liable -to the basest abuses and practised only for purposes of sin. Is it -possible so to practice it? Why, yes, if I can hypnotize a thief I -can make him steal. If I can hypnotize a bad girl—but that would be -needless. Whatever in one’s normal state one is willing to do, or wants -to do, one can be made to do by hypnotic control. That is as far as the -power can go; it cannot make a sinner out of a saint, a demagogue out -of a gentleman, nor a mute out of Theodore Roosevelt. - - - - - AT THE DRAIN OF THE WASH-BASIN - - -The Prohibitionists, good souls, are funny. They are all “down upon” -license—high or low—because it is a legal “recognition” of the liquor -trade. As reasonably they might condemn fines for misdemeanor as legal -recognition of misdemeanor. Until the liquor trade is forbidden it -is legally recognized, whether licensed or not. Why can not militant -aquarians accustom themselves to think of a license fee as an _ante -facto_ fine? I am not loaded down with controversial weapons for the -fray between liquor and water; I love neither the one liquid nor the -other; but I enjoy the quarrels of others, am enamored of effective -means in battle and should be miserable if I had failed to point out to -any combatant in any contention how he could obtain an honest advantage. - -Do I not drink water? Yes, a little—when instigated by thirst. Does -any one drink it under any other circumstances? Does any one drink it -because he likes it?—or rather, does any one like it when not suffering -from a disagreeable disorder? We take water as medicine for the disease -thirst. It is to be considered as a remedial agent—but so vilely -compounded in nature’s laboratory and so distasteful to the normal -palate that the world in all ages has been virtually united in avoiding -it. Nothing has so stimulated human ingenuity and invited such constant -investments as the discovery, invention and manufacture of palatable -substitutes for plain water; and nothing could be more unphilosophical -than to attribute this universal movement to perversity or caprice. -Extravagant as are some of its manifestations, deplorable as are some -of its consequences, at the back of it all, as at the back of every -wide and persistent trend of human activity, is some imperious and -unsleeping necessity. - -Consider, if you will be so good, what “drinking-water” actually is. It -is the world’s sewage. It is what that dirty boy, the earth, has washed -his face with. The wells, rivers and rills are nature’s slop-buckets, -and the lowland springs are not much better; all soluble substances -on or near the surface of the earth eventually get into them. Melted -mountain snow is pure enough, but by the time it reaches the lip of the -flatlander it is a solution of abomination. It is macerated man. It is -hydrate of dead dog with an infusion of all that is untidy—infested -with germs of nameless plagues, carrying ferocious anthropophagi and -loaded with mordant minerals. By many scientists it is held that age -is simply a disease caused, mainly, by cumulative deposits of lime and -other inorganic matter in the organs of the body, most of them taken in -water. If our drink were free of minerals and depeopled of its little -reptiles it is probable that we might live a thousand years and die of -the minerals and reptiles in our food—those of us who are not shot or -hanged. - -The protagonists of water tell us that it is the natural drink of man. -We drink it for economy, from ignorance or inattention, from hereditary -habit bequeathed to us by barbarian ancestors who had nothing else -and knew not the sacred grape. They ate beetles, too, stale fish and -one another. Were these the natural food of man? Man has no natural -food and drink; he takes what he can get. An infant race is like an -infant individual: whatever it can lay its hands on goes into its -dauby mouth. Water, _pure_ water, has one merit—it is cheap; and one -disadvantage—it is not good. - -Mr. Prohibitionist would like to deprive me of wine by law; not because -that would make me happier: it would make _him_ happier. As long as -I cannot prevent him from trying, I fancy that I don’t wish to, and -execute a multitude of fine sentiments about the virtue of tolerance -and the advantages of free speech. But give me the power, and the first -time I catch him rolling his rebuking eye at my wineglass I will fill -up his well. - - - - - GODS IN CHICAGO - - -In the death of Mr. W. J. Gunning theology incurred a serious loss. -The deceased was an intelligent and painstaking collector of gods, and -at the time of his death was in the service of the Committee on Gods, -of the “World’s Fair” in Chicago. He had already got together about -five hundred deities, some of them exceedingly powerful, and was on -his way around the world on the lookout for more. It is believed that -he would have enriched the pantheon of the fair with some singularly -fine exhibits if he had been spared, for he was a most accomplished -theologian, knew exactly where to lay his hand on any deity that he -needed in his business, and whenever he went godding was blessed (under -Providence) with a large take. He was an honest collector, a kind and -considerate provider, and left behind him a wide circle of Celestial -Powers bewailing their loss. - -The advantage of having a first-rate collection of gods at a world’s -fair is obvious. Hitherto the study of comparative theology has been -beset with dispiriting difficulties, many of which will vanish in the -light that such a collection will pour upon the science. In actual -presence of the wood and stone which the heathen in his blindness -bows down to we shall be able to trace resemblances and relationships -hitherto undiscerned and even unsuspected. We shall know, perhaps, -why the religion of the Inquots is somewhat similar to that of the -Abemjees when we see (if such is the fact) that the gods of both these -widely separated tribes have availed themselves of the advantages of -the tail. We shall perhaps find the missing link between the Hindu’s -mild disposition and his adoration of the “idol of hope and slaughter.” -Better than all, we shall by actual scrutiny of the mongrel and measly -gods of other and inferior nations be confirmed in the True Faith, as -in this favored land we have the happiness to know it. - -That the goddery will be a point of chief attraction goes without -saying. A temple in which, satisfying the two mightiest needs of his -spiritual nature, one may both scoff and pray will have a powerful -fascination for the truly religious. There the visiting stranger from -the overseas can perform appropriate rites before the deity of his -fathers and execute feats of contumelious disdain—short of actual -demolition—before the hideous and senseless images adored of those not -delivered from error’s chain. Even to the wicked person who has justly -incurred the ancient reproach that he “tears down but does not build -up,” the god-show will have a certain value as displaying everywhere -the kind of things he tears down and nowhere the kind he is expected -to build up—whereby he shall be put into better esteem and kicked and -cuffed with abated assiduity. There is one disquieting possibility—one -haunting thought that grows amain to apprehension: What will be the -effect of setting up a multitude of gods in a city which has not -hitherto tolerated one? It was well, though, to make the experiment, -even as a missionary measure; and if the lakeside pantheon had served -to lure the world’s pious to their financial doom the Chicagonese might -have become a profoundly religious people, attentive to pilgrims and -blandly assuring them that it was no trouble to show gods. - -1892. - - - - - FOR LAST WORDS - - -The special kind of telephone designed to be affixed to the bedside -of one who may have the bad luck to suffer from some infectious or -contagious disease is a thoughtful provision for a crying need. By -means of the instrument so placed, the patient’s friends are able to -converse to him, read and sing at him, and, in general, give him the -benefit of their society without danger of getting back more than -they bestow. The plan is of admirable simplicity and nothing could -be better—for the friends. There must be a certain satisfaction in -possessing one end of a telephone at the other end of which there is -one who cannot get away—one who has to listen to as many helloes as may -be thought good for him, and to submit to the question, “Is that you?” -when you know that it is he, as frequently as you choose to afflict -him with it. That he is heartily wishing but impotently unable to -transmit his disorder through the wire adds something to the joy of the -situation. - -One of the advantages of the sick-bed telephone lies in the fact that -it can be used for preservation of “last words.” Hitherto those only -of men who died surrounded by attentive friends have had a chance of -getting before the public; those of the unfortunate infectionary, -isolated from his race and dying in a pesthouse, assisted by hireling -physicians and unsympathetic nurses, have been lost to the world. No -matter how many years of his life the patient may have been engaged in -their composition and rehearsal; no matter how “neat and opprobrious” -they were, they fell upon unappreciative ears, and were not recorded. -Under the new _régime_ the patient as his fire fails may summon his -friends to the telephone, launch at them his Parthian platitude and -die in the pleasant consciousness that posterity will have profit of -his death. Whether, like Falstaff, he choose to give his remarks a -reminiscent character and “babble o’ green fields;” confine himself -to the historical method, like Daniel Webster with his memorable “I -still live;” assume the benevolent pose, and, like Charles II, urge -the survivors not to let some “poor Nelly” starve; the exclamatory, -like the late President Garfield, who, according to one Swaim, said -“O Swaim!” and let it go at that; or the merely idiotic, like the -great Napoleon with his “_Tête d’armée_,” the faithful telephone will -be there, ready and willing to transmit (and transmute) the sentiment, -admonition, statement or whatever it may be. - -To persons intending to make this use of the telephone a word of -counsel may not be impertinent. As no human being, however well-eared, -ever understood the telephone until it had repeated itself a number of -times in response to his demands for more light, and as the moribund -are not commonly in very good voice, it will be wise to begin the “last -words” while there is yet a little reserve fund of life and strength -remaining, for repetition and explanation. - - - - - THE CHAIR OF LITTLE EASE - - -Not many years ago, as I remember, a deal of deprecatory talk was in -evolution about a certain Governor of a Persian province, who was -said to have been boiled alive by order of the Shah. Our shouting and -shrilling in this matter were not altogether becoming, considering -whose progeny we are. It is not so very long since all the nations -of Europe practised boiling alive—commonly in oil, which was thought -to impart a fine discomfort to the person so unlucky as to be in the -cauldron. In England boiling was the legal punishment for poisoners for -a long time, beginning in 1531, in the reign of Henry VII. Among those -who suffered this discomfort was a man mentioned in the chronicle of -the Grey Friars, who was let down into the kettle by a chain until he -was done. He, however, was not boiled in oil—just plain. Some of the -items of an expense account relating to the execution of Friar Stone at -Canterbury are interesting in their homely way: - - Paid 2 men that sat by the kettle and parboiled him 1s - To 3 men that carried his quarters to the gates and set them up 1s - For a woman that scoured the kettle 2d - -With regard to that last item one cannot repress the flame of a -consuming curiosity to know if the scouring was done before or -afterward. If afterward, the poor woman seems to have been miserably -underpaid. - -But call it a long time ago, protesting that the tendency to boil one -another has exhausted its impetus, or, if you please, worked itself -out of our clarifying blood. But the year 1790 is not so far back, and -burning at the stake probably generates an uneasiness to which that of -the oil-boiled gentry of the earlier period was nowise superior. It was -in the year mentioned—in the reign of his most gracious Majesty George, -the third of that name—that burning at the stake ceased to be the legal -penalty for “coining,” which was accounted “treason,” and murder of a -husband, which was “petty treason.” But wife-killers and coiners, male, -were hanged. The last woman burned alive departed this life, I think, -in 1789. Men are living to-day whose fathers were living then and may, -as children, have played in the ashes. - -Still (it may be urged) it was not actually we who did it: in our -milder day we have neither the cauldron nor the stake. Ah, but we -have the dynamo. We have the custom of putting a small percentage of -our assassins into an “electrical chair” and doing them to death by -pressing a button—a process to which in defiance of two languages we -have given the name “electrocution.” For encouragement of the rising -young assassin, physicians assure us that this gives a painless death. - -The physicians know nothing about it; for anything they know to the -contrary, death by electricity may be the most frightful torment that -it is possible for any of nature’s forces or processes to produce. -The agony may be not only inconceivably great, but to the sufferer it -may seem to endure for a period inconceivably long. That many of the -familiar physical indications of suffering are absent (though “long, -shuddering sighs” and “straining at the straps” are not certainly -symptoms of joy) is very little to the purpose when we know that -electricity paralyzes the muscles by whose action pain is familiarly -manifested. We know that it paralyzes all the seats of sensation, for -that matter, and puts an end to possibilities of pain. That is only to -say that it kills. But by what secret and infernal pang may not all -this be accompanied or accomplished? Through what unnatural exaltation -of the senses may not the moment of its accomplishing be commuted into -unthinkable cycles of time? Of all this the physicians can have no more -knowledge than so many toads under stones. - -It is probable, at least it is possible, that a “victim’s” sum of -suffering from his instantaneous pervasion with enough of the fluid -to kill him is no less than if it were leisurely rilled through him -a little faster than he could bear until he should die of it that -way. Theories of the painlessness of sudden death appear to be based -mostly upon the fact that those who undergo it make no entries of their -sensations in their diaries. It is to be wished that they would be more -thoughtful and less selfish. The man smitten by lightning, or widely -distributed by a hitch in the proceedings at a powder mill, owes a duty -to his fellow men of which he commonly appears to have but an imperfect -sense. A careful and analytic record of his sensations at every -stage of his mischance would be a precious contribution to medical -literature. Published under some such title as _A Diary of Sudden -Death; by a Public-Spirited Observer on the Inside_ it would serve many -useful purposes, and also profit the publisher. What we most need—next -to more doctors at executions—is some person having experience of the -matter, to tell us fairly in inoffensive English, interlarded with -“Soche-sorte Latin as physickers doe use,” just how it feels to be dead -all over at once. - - - - - A GHOST IN THE UNMAKING - - -Belief in ghosts is natural, general and comforting. In many minds it -is cherished as a good working substitute for religion; in others it -appears to take the place of morality. It is rather more convenient -than either, for it may be disavowed and even reviled without exposing -oneself to suspicion and reproach. As an intellectual conviction it -is, in fact, not a very common phenomenon among people of thought and -education; nevertheless the number of civilized and enlightened human -beings who can pass through a graveyard at midnight without whistling -is not notably greater than the number who are unable to whistle. - -It may be noted here as a distinction with a difference that belief -in ghosts is not the same thing as faith in them. Many men believe in -the adversary of souls, but comparatively few, and they not among our -best citizens, have any faith in him. Similarly, the belief in ghosts -has reference only to their existence, not to their virtues. They are, -indeed, commonly thought to harbor the most evil designs against the -continuity of peaceful thoughts and the integrity of sleep. Their -malevolence has in it a random and wanton quality which invests it with -a peculiarly lively interest: there is no calculating upon whom it -will fall: the just and the unjust alike are embraced in its baleful -jurisdiction and subjected to the humiliating indignity of displaying -the white feather. And this leads us directly back to the incident by -which these remarks have the honor to be suggested. - -A woman living near Sedalia, Missouri, who had recently been married -alive to a widower, was once passing along a “lonely road” which had -been thoughtfully laid out near her residence. It was late in the -evening, and the lady was, naturally, somewhat apprehensive in a land -known to be infested by Missourians of the deepest dye. She was, -therefore, not in a suitable frame of mind for an interview with an -inhabitant of the other world, and it was with no slight trepidation -that she suddenly discovered in the gloom a tall figure, clad all -in white, standing silent and menacing in the road before her. She -endeavored to run away, but terror fastened her feet to the earth; to -shriek, but her lungs refused their office—the first time that an -office was ever refused in that sovereign commonwealth. In short, to -use a neat and graphic locution of the vicinity, she was utterly “guv -out.” The ghost was tremendously successful. Unluckily it could not -hold its ghost of a tongue, and that spectral organ could accomplish -feats of speech intelligible to ears still in the flesh. The apparition -advanced upon its helpless victim and said in hollow accents: “I am the -spirit of your husband’s first wife: beware, beware!” - -Nothing could have been more imprudent. The cowering lady effected a -vertical attitude, grew tall, and expanded. Her terror gave place to -an intrepidity of the most military character, and she moved at once -to the attack. A moment later all that was mortal of that immortal -part, divested of its funeral habiliments, hair, teeth and whatever was -removable—battered, lacerated, gory and unconscious—lay by the roadside -awaiting identification. When the husband arrived upon the scene with -a horrible misgiving and a lantern, his worst fears were not realized; -the grave had bravely held its own; the object by the roadside was what -was left of his deceased wife’s sister. On learning that her victim -was not what she had incautiously represented herself to be, the -victorious lady expressed the deepest regret. - -Such incidents as this go far to account for that strong current of -human testimony to the existence of ghosts, which Dr. Johnson found -running through all the ages, and at the same time throw a new and -significant light upon Heine’s suggestion that ghosts are as much -afraid of us as we of them. It would appear that some of the less -judicious of them have pretty good reason. - - - - - THE TURN OF THE TIDE - - -In the year 1890 I wrote in the San Francisco _Examiner_, _àpropos_ of -Chinese immigration: - -“There is but one remedy—I do not recommend it: to kill the Chinese. -That we shall not do: the minority will not undertake, nor the majority -permit. It would be massacre now; in its own good time (too late) it -will be war. We could kill the Chinese now, as we have killed the -Indians; but fifty years hence—perhaps thirty—the nation that kills -Chinamen will have to answer to China.” - -Twenty-one years later a Chinese warship steamed into the port of Vera -Cruz, Mexico, to back up a demand of the Chinese government for an -indemnity for a massacre of Chinese subjects. She was a little warship, -but she bore a momentous mandate, performed it and steamed away, the -world as inattentive to the event as it had been to the prophecy. - -Perhaps our national indifference to the portentous phenomenon came of -“use and wont;” already an American president had been made to grovel -at the feet of a Japanese emperor, and had truculently threatened a -state of the union with war if it did not adjust its municipal laws -to the will of that Asian sovereign. Clearly, as the hope was then -expressed, “we have reached the end of Asiatic dictation”—the hither -end, unfortunately. - -All Asia is astir, looking East and West. Its incalculable multitudes -are learning war and navigation; and Caucasian powers—“infatuate, -blind, selfsure!”—are their tutors. Their armies are taught by European -officers, their warships are built in European and American ports. All -the military powers unite in maintaining “the integrity of China” and -in awakening her to aggression and dominance. - -Even if it were to our immediate interest to preserve the integrity of -the Chinese Empire a long look ahead might disclose a greater one that -would be best subserved by partition. In a single generation Japan has -performed the astonishing feat of changing civilizations. It has been, -for her, retrogression, for the civilization that she has discarded -was superior to that which she has adopted; but in one important -particular she has been the gainer by the exchange; in the matter, -namely, of military power, and therefore political consequence. As by -a leap, she has advanced from nowhere to the position of a first-rate -power. What she has done China is doing, with this difference: China’s -advance will be to a position that will dominate the world and reduce -the foremost nations of to-day to second place. Trained by European -officers to European methods of warfare, such an army as she can -raise and equip from her four hundred millions of population will be -invincible. It may overrun Europe and extinguish Christian civilization -on that continent, which would not be a very good thing for it on this. -It was only yesterday—a little more than two hundred years ago—that -Europe came within a single battle-hazard of being an Islam dependency. -If John Sobieski had been defeated under the walls of Vienna, that -city, Berlin, Paris and London would to-day be Mohammedan capitals. -History has not exhausted its reserve of astounding events, nor have -civilizations learned the secret of stability. - -It is easy to affirm, in the case of China, the impossibility of any -such racial transformation as the one supposed, but fifty years ago -it would have been easy to point out its impossibility in the case -of Japan—if any human being had had the imagination and hardihood to -suggest it. Japan has made the impossible possible, the possible a -thing to be feared. As a measure of precaution, the partition of China -merits the profoundest consideration. - -Actual forces at the back of a great movement are seldom apparent to -those engaged in directing it. Statesmanship is mostly a matter of -temporary expedients for accomplishment of small purposes, but if -there is to-day a really great statesman of the Caucasian race he -is considering the partition of China among European nations as an -alternative to the partition of European nations among the Chinese. - -Meantime we occupy ourselves with laws and treaties to “exclude” -Chinese and other inevitable Asians from our continent. Successive -relays of American statesmen wreck themselves upon the problem and go -down smiling. To some of us it is given to see that the Asian can not -be excluded—that the course of empire, having taken its way westward -until it has reached its point of departure, is turning backward, an -irresistible “tide in the affairs of men.” But what can we do but -propose further and futile measures of “exclusion”? We supplicate our -Government to forbid us to employ our destroyers, to deny us the fruits -of our cupidity and prohibit us from bringing the hateful race here -in our own ships. Our courts, minded madwise, make in good faith the -monstrous assumption that the writ of _habeas corpus_ is a right which -we, having invented it, are bound to share with races that never heard -of it. Our churches, gone clean daft in pursuit of souls never caught -and not worth the catching, pull the strings of their God to a gesture -of injunction and bid us respect the brotherhood of man. Every moment -and at all points we feel the baffling hand thrusting us roughly down -and back, while this awful invasion pours in upon us with augmenting -power. - -Not for an instant has the refluent wave been stayed. Every American -city has its “Chinatown,” every American village its scouts and -pioneers of the movement. On the Pacific Coast the Japanese have -a foothold everywhere, monopolizing entire industries in cities -and valleys, owning the lands that once they leased and charitably -employing their former employers. And all along the line of every -growing railway in the west may be seen the turbaned Hindu bending to -his work and biding his time to be a “shipper.” - -As it is, it will be: the Oriental races are in motion westward, and -this continent is doomed to their occupancy. A higher, sterner law than -any of man’s devising is in action here. Fate has exercised the right -of eminent domain and condemned this New World to the use of ancient -races. For four hundred years the European has been wresting it from -the Indian; within one-half the time the Asian will have accomplished -its conquest from the European. There is no help for us: as we did unto -others it shall be done unto us, and the Asian shall be master here. It -is comforting to know that we shall have had a hand in our undoing; one -does not like to be a “dead-head” in any enterprise. - -No; we shall not kill the Chinese, nor will they “go” without -killing—nor cease to come. As surely as the sun shall rise each day, -so surely each day will his beams gild the ever advancing flag of this -irresistible migration. Beneath the feet of that mighty host the arts -and sciences of the Aryan, his laws and letters, his religions and -languages, the very body and soul of his civilization will be trampled -out of record, out of memory, out of tradition. It is not a sunny -picture; what need to look upon it? I invite to despair; but there -stands the dear American statesman, parchment in hand—a new exclusion -law! His face shines in the dawning of another hope; in his eyes is the -morning of a new era. Between the two of us—him and me—all patriots may -be united: each with a prophet of his choice. It is clear whom ye will -choose, but I hope I don’t intrude. - - - - - FAT BABIES AND FATE - - -The modern Baby Show is a fruitful source of mischief—a degenerate -successor to that ancient display whose beneficent purpose was to -ascertain what ailing or deformed or merely puny infants might most -advantageously be flung off a cliff. The object of the modern Baby Show -is not improvement of the race by assisting Nature in “weeding out,” -nor is such the practical result. Prizes, we are told, are commonly -bestowed by a committee of matrons, and necessarily fall to the fattest -exhibit. In the matron’s ideal “scale of being” the pudgiest, the most -orbicular, babe holds the summit place, the first adiposition, so to -speak. - -This is not as it should be; no true improvement in the race can be -effected by encouraging our young to bury their noses in their cheeks -and their knuckles under a mass of tissues overlying them like a -boxing-glove. The prize winners do not become better men and women than -their unsuccessful but more deserving competitors; while the latter, -beginning life in the shadow of a great disappointment, retain to the -end of their days a sharp sense of injustice incompatible with warm and -elevated sentiments. The effect on the characters of the beaten mothers -is even more deplorable. Every mother of a defeated babe is convinced -that her exhibit is incomparably superior, physically, intellectually -and morally, to the roly-poly impostors honored by the committee -of matrons. Her wrath at the unjust decision is deep, constant and -lasting; it embitters her life, sours her temper and spoils her beauty. -As to the fathers, the only discernible effect upon them of either -winning or losing is to make them a trifle more ashamed of their -offspring than they were before. “The proud and happy father” had never -the advantage of existing outside the female imagination, but if he -really existed the Baby Show would be fatal to both his pride and his -happiness. - -In enumerating the manifold mischiefs that fly from that Pandora’s-box, -the Baby Show, we are perhaps not justified in mentioning the -desolating effect upon the committee of matrons whose action springs -the lid. It is doubtful if the disasters which themselves incur can -rightly be rated as evils in the larger sense of the word; and, -anyhow, the nature of these is imperfectly known; for after making -their award the unhappy arbiters commonly vanish from the busy haunts -of women. The places which knew them know them no more forever, and -their fate is involved in obscurities pervious only to conjecture. -In view of this regrettable but apparently inevitable fact, it is -desirable (if the Baby Show cannot be averted) that the lady judges be -selected early, in order that our citizens may bestow upon them before -they are taken from us some suitable testimonial of public esteem and -gratitude, attesting the popular sense of their heroism in accepting -the fatal distinction. - - - - - CERTAIN AREAS OF OUR SEAMY SIDE - - -The thrifty person who attends, uninvited, a wedding reception and, -retiring early from the festivities, leaves the unhappy couple poorer -by a few unconsidered trifles of jewelry has a just claim to the -gratitude of mankind. The interests of justice demand his immunity from -detection: the officer who shall molest him is _hostis humani generis_. -Neither grave rebuke nor ridicule has sufficed to overcome and stamp -out the vulgar custom of ostentatiously displaying wedding presents, -with names of givers attached; perhaps it will yield to the silent -suasion of the sneak-thief. To healthy and honest understandings—that -is to say, to the understandings of this present writer and those -who have the intelligence to think as he does—it is but faintly -conceivable how self-respecting persons can do this thing. Display of -any kind is necessarily repugnant to those tastes which distinguish -the well-bred from those whose worth is of another sort. Among the -latter we are compelled (reluctantly) to reckon those amiable beings -who display coats-of-arms, crests and the like, whether they are theirs -by inheritance, purchase or invention; those, we mean, who blazon -them about in conspicuous places for the obvious purpose of declaring -with emphasis whatever merits and advantages may inhere in their -possession. In this class, also, we must place the excellent ladies -and gentlemen who “boast” their descent from illustrious, or merely -remote, ancestors. (The remoter the ancestor—that is to say, the less -of his blood his descendant has—the greater that funny person’s pride -in the distinction.) A person of sense would be as likely to direct -attention to his own virtues as to those of his forefathers; a woman of -modesty, to her own beauty or grace as to the high social position of -her grandmother. - -Nay, we must carry our condemnation to an even greater extreme. The -man who on public occasions covers his breast with decorations, the -insignia of orders, the badges of high service or of mere distinction -such as results from possession of the badge, is guilty of immodesty. -“Why do you not wear your Victoria Cross?” the only recipient of it -who ever failed to wear it was asked. “When I wish people to know how -valiant I am in battle,” was the reply, “I will tell them.” - -But below this lowest deep of vanity there is a lower deep of -cupidity—and something more. The custom of displaying wedding presents -duly labeled with the givers’ names and publishing the list in the -newspapers supplies a very “genteel” method of extortion to those who -have conscientious scruples against highway robbery. That extortion is -very often the conscious intent I am far from affirming; but that such -is the practical effect many a reader inadequately provided with this -world’s goods will pause at this point feelingly to aver. But he is -a lofty soul indeed if at the next silent demand he do not stand and -deliver as meekly as heretofore. Looked at how one may please, it is -a bad business, not greatly superior in point of morality to that of -the sneak-thief who is one of its perils, and with whose intelligent -activity its existence may, one hopes, become in time altogether -incompatible. - - - - - FOR BREVITY AND CLARITY - - -Mr. George R. Sims once “invited proposals” for a brief and convenient -name for the misdemeanor known in England as “traveling in a class -of railway carriage superior to that for which the defendant had -taken a ticket.” It is a ludicrous fact that the offense has never -had another name, nor is it quite easy to invent a better one -off-hand. I should like to know what it is in Esperanto. We have in -this country certain clumsy phrases which might advantageously be -condensed into single words. For example, to “join in the holy bonds -of wedlock” might become to “jedlock.” The society editor would be -spared much labor if he could say of the unhappy couple that they were -“jedlocked,” or “lemaltared,”—the latter word meaning, of course, “led -to the matrimonial altar.” Many of the ordinary reporter’s favorite -expressions could be treated in the same practical fashion. The -familiar “much-needed rest” would become simply “mest.” The “devouring -element” would be “delement,” and have done with it. When it is, as -so very frequently it is, necessary to say that something “reflects -credit” on somebody, the verb “to refledit” would serve an honorable -and useful purpose. Instead of writing of a man freshly dead that he -was “much esteemed by all who knew him,” we should say that he was -“mestewed.” By such simple and rational devices as these the language -would be notably improved, and in a newspaper report of the birth of a -rich man’s child a few lines could be saved for the death of a poet. - -As the words “not either” have been condensed into “neither,” “not -ever” into “never” and “no one” into “none,” why should not the -negative or privative, when followed by a vowel, be always compounded -in the same way? For example, “neven” for “not even,” “nin” and “nout” -for “not in” and “not out.” “Nirish” for “no Irish,” and so forth. -Nay, it is not necessary that a vowel follow the negative: “no Popery” -could be “nopery,” “no matter,” “natter,” and “never-to-be-forgotten,” -“notten,” or “netten.” The principle is pregnant with possibilities. - -While reforming the language I crave leave to introduce an improvement -in punctuation—the snigger point, or note of cachinnation. It is -written thus ◡ and represents, as nearly as may be, a smiling mouth. -It is to be appended, with the full stop, to every jocular or ironical -sentence; or, without the stop, to every jocular or ironical clause of -a sentence otherwise serious—thus: “Mr. Edward Bok is the noblest work -of God ◡.” “Our respected and esteemed ◡ contemporary, Mr. Slyvester -Vierick, whom for his virtues we revere and for his success envy ◡, is -going to the devil as fast as his two heels can carry him.” “Deacon -Harvey, a truly good man ◡, is self-made in the largest sense of the -term; for although he was born great, wise and rich, the deflection of -his nose is the work of his own coat-sleeve.” - -To many a great writer the new point will be as useful as was the -tail to his unlettered ancestor. By a single stroke of his pen at the -finish, the illustrious humorist who reviews books for _The Nation_ can -give to his dismalist plagiarism from Mulgrub’s _Theory of Quaternions_ -all the charm and value of a lively personal anecdote, as he would -relate it. By liberally sprinkling his literary criticism with it, Dr. -Hamilton W. Mabie can give to the work a lilt and vivacity that will -readily distinguish it from a riding-master’s sermon on the mount; the -points will apprise his reader of a humorous intention not otherwise -observable as a factor in the humorous effect. Embellished with this -useful mark, even the writings of that sombre soul, Mr. John Kendrick -Bangs, will have a quality that will at least prevent the parsons from -reading them at the graveside as passages from the burial service. - - - - - GENIUS AS A PROVOCATION - - -In his own honorable tongue Mr. Yoni Noguchi is, I dare say, a poet; -in ours he is a trifle unintelligible. His English prose, too, is of -a kind that one does not write if one has a choice in the matter, yet -sometimes Mr. Noguchi thinks in it with clarity and point. Concerning -the late Lafcadio Hearn and the little tempest that was roaring round -that author’s life and character, Mr. Noguchi wrote: - -“It is perfectly appalling to observe in the Western countries that -when one dies his friends have to rush to print his private letters, -and even an unexpected person volunteers to speak as his best friend, -and presumes to write his biography.” - -No, this is not good prose (barring the “unexpected person,” which is -delicious) but it is obvious truth and righteous judgment. Publication -of letters not written for publication is _prima facie_ evidence of -moral delinquency in the offender. In doing this thing he supplies -the strongest presumption against himself. The burden of proof is -heavy upon him; he is to be held guilty unless he can support it with -positive evidence of a difficult thing to prove—an untainted intention -not related to gain, glory nor gratification of a public appetite -to which there is no honorable purveyance. No evidence less valid -than written permission obviously covering the particular letters -published is acceptable. In all the instances that I have observed this -credential is wanting. True, the scope of my observation is somewhat -narrow, for I would no more read a dead man’s private correspondence -in a book than I would break open his desk to obtain it. From a woman -related to a famous poet and critic then recently deceased I had once a -request for any letters that I might have from him. The lady said that -she wanted them for his biography, already in course of preparation. -The letters related to literary matters only, but as the lady submitted -no authorization from their writer for their publication I civilly -refused and took the consequences—there were consequences. Whether or -not my part of the correspondence appeared in the book I shall not know -unless told. - -The family of a man of genius and renown may be pretty confidently -trusted to make him ridiculous in life with their clumsy tongues, and -after death with their thrifty pens. I think there was never a man of -genius whom all his relatives excepting his immediate offspring did -not, while jealous of his fame, secretly regard as a fool. (Even the -brothers of Jesus of Nazareth did not “believe on him,” and to some of -us who are immune to legends of the Church it is given to know that his -mother was of their way of thinking.) Dumbly resenting the distinction -that seems to accentuate their own obscurity, these worthies are -nevertheless keen to shine by the growing light of his posthumous fame, -if he have it, and to profit by it too, as are his more appreciative -children and children’s children, usually dullards and dolts to the -thirteenth and fourteenth generation. His death is the opportunity of -all. Some of them are very sure to crucify the body of him and thrust a -pen into his side to show that his blood is the same as their own. - -A most disagreeable instance of this most disagreeable practice is that -of a son of Robert Browning, who has won literary renown and popular -commendation by publishing his parents’ love-letters. Doubtless he is -proud of his work, but in the eyes of his sainted father, I fear, -he is one of Mr. Noguchi’s “unexpected persons,” at least in the -sense that he is not expected in Paradise. Another and more recent -illustration is the book _My Soldier_, the sanguinary work of a wife. -Observe with what celerity the forehanded family of Tennyson “improved -the occasion” of his passing. The poor man was hardly cold before they -thrust a volume of Shakspeare into his dead hand, clove it with his -finger at a significant passage chosen by a domestic council, admitted -a consistent ray of moonshine into the death chamber and invited the -world to witness the edifying show. So the man who wrote - - Sunset and evening star, - And one clear call for me - -was made to seem to “pass out to sea” in an impressive pose, -appropriately spectacular and dramatically ridiculous. - -If there is a Better Land it is where a great man can grow up from the -ground like a tree, without human agency, get on without a friend, -write no letters and leave no name at which himself grew pale, to point -a lying anecdote or tale. - -To the perils herein pointed out authors are peculiarly exposed. The -world has apparently agreed that he who writes for publication shall -write for nothing else. I have heard men of decent life and social -repute gravely defend the thesis that the public has a _right_ to all -that an author has written; and as his letters are likely to be rather -more interesting than those of one who works at another trade, they are -held to have a value disproportionate to the mere fame of their writer. -We all concede the virtue of abstention from theft of a paste jewel, -but a real diamond!—that is another matter. - -The people are not pigs; the author of their favorite personal letters -need not have a great personal renown. If he has uttered a sufficient -body of private correspondence they are willing to forgive him for -their inattention to his public work. Their purveyors are even more -liberal in the matter: they do not insist on an excellent epistolary -style nor anything of that kind. An intimate “human document” in -ailing syntax is quite as available for their purpose as one baring -the heart of a grammarian. _The Filial Correspondence of George Ade_ -is foredoomed to as sharp a competition among dealers as _The Love -Letters of Professor Harry Thurston Peck, Stylist._ - -It may be thought that all this is a cry from the deep and dark of a -great fear. Not so; since I became a public writer I have never engaged -in a correspondence in which it has not been distinctly understood -that my letters were never to be printed. Only through an impossible -treachery can the public ever have the happiness and profit of reading -them. As to love-letters I am clean-handed: all mine have been written -in honorable payment for favors and, as Conscience is my willing -witness, I never meant one word of them. - - - - - A BIVOUAC OF THE DEAD - - -Away up in the heart of the Allegheny mountains, in Pocahontas county, -West Virginia, is a beautiful little valley through which flows -the east fork of the Greenbrier river. At a point where the valley -road intersects the old Staunton and Parkersburg turnpike, a famous -thoroughfare in its day, is a post office in a farm house. The name of -the place is Travelers’ Repose, for it was once a tavern. Crowning some -low hills within a stone’s throw of the house are long lines of old -Confederate fortifications, skilfully designed and so well “preserved” -that an hour’s work by a brigade would put them into serviceable shape -for the next civil war. This place had its battle—what was called a -battle in the “green and salad days” of the great rebellion. A brigade -of Federal troops, the writer’s regiment among them, came over Cheat -mountain, fifteen miles to the westward, and, stringing its lines -across the little valley, felt the enemy all day; and the enemy did a -little feeling, too. There was a great cannonading, which killed about -a dozen on each side; then, finding the place too strong for assault, -the Federals called the affair a reconnaissance in force, and burying -their dead withdrew to the more comfortable place whence they had come. -Those dead now lie in a beautiful national cemetery at Grafton, duly -registered, so far as identified, and companioned by other Federal dead -gathered from the several camps and battlefields of West Virginia. The -fallen soldier (the word “hero” appears to be a later invention) has -such humble honors as it is possible to give. - - His part in all the pomp that fills - The circuit of the Summer hills - Is that his grave is green. - -True, more than a half of the green graves in the Grafton cemetery -are marked “Unknown,” and sometimes it occurs that one thinks of the -contradiction involved in “honoring the memory” of him of whom no -memory remains to honor; but the attempt seems to do no great harm to -the living, even to the logical. - -A few hundred yards to the rear of the old Confederate earthworks is a -wooded hill. Years ago it was not wooded. Here, among the trees and -in the undergrowth, are rows of shallow depressions, discoverable by -removing the accumulated forest leaves. From some of them may be taken -(and reverently replaced) small thin slabs of the split stone of the -country, with rude and reticent inscriptions by comrades. I found only -one with a date, only one with full names of man and regiment. The -entire number found was eight. - -In these forgotten graves rest the Confederate dead—between eighty and -one hundred, as nearly as can be made out. Some fell in the “battle;” -the majority died of disease. Two, only two, have apparently been -disinterred for reburial at their homes. So neglected and obscure -in this _campo santo_ that only he upon whose farm it is—the aged -postmaster of Travelers’ Repose—appears to know about it. Men living -within a mile have never heard of it. Yet other men must be still -living who assisted to lay these Southern soldiers where they are, and -could identify some of the graves. Is there a man, North or South, -who would begrudge the expense of giving to these fallen brothers the -tribute of green graves? One would rather not think so. True, there -are several hundreds of such places still discoverable in the track of -the great war. All the stronger is the dumb demand—the silent plea of -these fallen brothers to what is “likest God within the soul.” - -They were honest and courageous foemen, having little in common with -the political madmen who persuaded them to their doom and the literary -bearers of false witness in the aftertime. They did not live through -the period of honorable strife into the period of vilification—did -not pass from the iron age to the brazen—from the era of the sword to -that of the tongue and pen. Among them is no member of the Southern -Historical Society. Their valor was not the fury of the non-combatant; -they have no voice in the thunder of the civilians and the shouting. -Not by them are impaired the dignity and infinite pathos of the Lost -Cause. Give them, these blameless gentlemen, their rightful part in all -the pomp that fills the circuit of the summer hills. - -1903. - - - Transcriber’s Notes: - - - Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_). - - Blank pages have been removed. - - A few obvious typographical errors have been silently corrected. - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COLLECTED WORKS OF AMBROSE -BIERCE, VOLUME 11 *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. 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- color: black; - font-size: smaller; - padding: 0.5em; - margin-bottom: 5em; - font-family: sans-serif, serif; - } - - </style> -</head> - -<body> -<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 11, by Ambrose Bierce</p> -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 11</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Ambrose Bierce</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: December 8, 2021 [eBook #66905]</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Emmanuel Ackerman, Robert Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)</p> -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COLLECTED WORKS OF AMBROSE BIERCE, VOLUME 11 ***</div> - - <div class="figcenter illowp100" id="cover"> - <img class="w100" src="images/cover.jpg" alt="" /> - </div> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="center xxlarge lh1 mt10"><b>THE COLLECTED WORKS OF<br /> - AMBROSE BIERCE</b></div> - - <hr class="short" /> - <div class="center xxlarge mb10"><b>VOLUME XI</b></div> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="illo illowp20 mt10 mb10 page"> - <img class="w100" src="images/colophon.png" alt="Logo" /> - </div> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="figcenter illowp100"> - <img class="w100" src="images/title_page.jpg" alt="Title page" /> - </div> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="titlepage"> - <h1>THE COLLECTED<br /> - WORKS OF<br /> - AMBROSE BIERCE</h1> - - <div class="xlarge mt5 mb5">VOLUME XI</div> - - <div class="xxlarge">ANTEPENULTIMATA</div> - - <div class="mt10">NEW YORK & WASHINGTON<br /> - <span class="large">THE NEALE PUBLISHING COMPANY</span><br /> - 1912</div> - - <div class="small bold"><span class="fleft ml10"><i>FREDERICK</i></span> - <span class="fright mr10"><i>POLLEY</i></span></div> - </div> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="titlepage"> - <div><span class="smcap">Copyright, 1912, by</span><br /> - The Neale Publishing Company</div> - </div> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <h2 id="PUBLISHERS_NOTE">PUBLISHERS’ NOTE</h2> - </div> - - <p>The greater part of the contents of this volume is published in - admirable form by A. M. Robertson, of San Francisco, with the title - <i>The Shadow on the Dial and Other Essays</i>. When the prospectus of - Mr. Bierce’s <i>Collected Works</i> was issued by our house in 1908 no - allowance was made for this matter, but through the generosity of Mr. - Robertson, and of Mr. S. O. Howes, the book’s compiler and editor, we - are now able to include it in our scheme, with revisions and additions - by the author. For this courtesy we are greatly indebted to Messrs. - Robertson and Howes. - </p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Neale Publishing Company.</span></p> - - <p>April, 1912. </p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <h2 id="CONTENTS">CONTENTS</h2> - </div> - - <ul> - <li class="item"><a href="#THE_SHADOW_ON_THE_DIAL">The Shadow on the Dial</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#CIVILIZATION">Civilization</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#THE_GAME_OF_POLITICS">The Game of Politics</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#A_POSSIBLE_BENEFACTOR">A Possible Benefactor</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#WARLIKE_AMERICA">Warlike America</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#SOME_FEATURES_OF_THE_LAW">Some Features of the Law</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#ARBITRATION">Arbitration</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#THE_GIFT_O_GAB">The Gift o’ Gab</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#NATURA_BENIGNA">Natura Benigna</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#INDUSTRIAL_DISCONTENT">Industrial Discontent</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#WRITERS_OF_DIALECT">Writers of Dialect</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#CRIME_AND_ITS_CORRECTIVES">Crime and Its Correctives</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#ON_KNOWING_ONES_BUSINESSAN_INSTANCE">On Knowing One’s Business</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#A_TRADE_OF_REFUGE">A Trade of Refuge</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#THE_DEATH_PENALTY">The Death Penalty</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#RELIGION">Religion</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#IMMORTALITY">Immortality</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#A_ROLLING_CONTINENT">A Rolling Continent</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#CHARITY">Charity</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#EMANCIPATED_WOMAN">Emancipated Woman</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#THE_OPPOSING_SEX">The Opposing Sex</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#A_MAD_WORLD">A Mad World</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#THE_AMERICAN_SYCOPHANT">The American Sycophant</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#DOG">Dog</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#THE_ANCESTRAL_BOND">The Ancestral Bond</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#THE_RIGHT_TO_WORK">The Right to Work</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#TAKING_ONESELF_OFF">Taking Oneself Off</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#A_MONUMENT_TO_ADAM">A Monument to Adam</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#HYPNOTISM">Hypnotism</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#AT_THE_DRAIN_OF_THE_WASH_BASIN">At the Drain of the Wash-basin</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#GODS_IN_CHICAGO">Gods in Chicago</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#FOR_LAST_WORDS">For Last Words</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#THE_CHAIR_OF_LITTLE_EASE">The Chair of Little Ease</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#A_GHOST_IN_THE_UNMAKING">A Ghost in the Unmaking</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#THE_TURN_OF_THE_TIDE">The Turn of the Tide</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#FAT_BABIES_AND_FATE">Fat Babies and Fate</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#CERTAIN_AREAS_OF_OUR_SEAMY_SIDE">Certain Areas of Our Seamy Side</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#FOR_BREVITY_AND_CLARITY">For Brevity and Clarity</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#GENIUS_AS_A_PROVOCATION">Genius as a Provocation</a></li> - <li class="item"><a href="#A_BIVOUAC_OF_THE_DEAD">A Bivouac of the Dead</a></li> - </ul> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter mb10"> - <span class="pagenum">13</span> - <h2 id="ANTEPENULTIMATA">ANTEPENULTIMATA </h2> - </div> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">15</span> - <h3 id="THE_SHADOW_ON_THE_DIAL">THE SHADOW ON THE DIAL</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">THERE is a deal of confusion and uncertainty in the use of the words - “socialist,” “anarchist,” and “nihilist.” Even the ’ist himself - commonly knows with as little accuracy what he is as the rest of - us know why he is. The socialist believes that most human affairs - should be regulated and managed by the state—the government—that is - to say, the majority. Our own system has many socialist features and - the trend of republican government is all that way. The anarchist - favors abolition of all law and frequently belongs to an organization - that secures his allegiance by solemn oaths and dreadful penalties. - “Nihilism” is a name given by Turgenieff to the general body of Russian - discontent which finds expression in antagonizing authority and killing - authorities. Constructive politics would seem, as yet, to be a cut - above the nihilist’s intelligence; he is essentially a destructionary.<span class="pagenum">16</span> - He is so diligently engaged in unweeding the soil that he has not given - a thought to what he will grow there. Nihilism may be defined as a - policy of assassination tempered by reflections on Siberia. American - sympathy with it is the offspring of an unholy union between the tongue - of a liar and the ear of a dupe.</p> - - <p>Upon examination it will be seen that political dissent, when it - takes any form more coherent than the mere brute dissatisfaction of - a mind that does not know what it wants to want, finds expression in - one of but two ways—in Socialism or in Anarchism. Whatever methods - one may think will best replace a system gradually evolved from our - needs and our natures with a system existing only in the minds of - dreamers, one is bound to choose between these two dreams. Yet such - is the intellectual delinquency of many who most strenuously denounce - the system that we have that we not infrequently find the same man - advocating in one breath, Socialism, in the next, Anarchism. Indeed, - few of these sons of darkness know that even as coherent dreams the - two are incompatible. With Anarchy triumphant the socialist would be - a thousand years further from realization of<span class="pagenum">17</span> his hope than he is - to-day. Set up Socialism on a Monday and on Tuesday the country would - be <i>en fête</i>, gaily hunting down anarchists. There would be little - difficulty in trailing them, for they have not so much sense as a deer, - which, running down the wind, sends its tell-tale fragrance on before.</p> - - <p>Socialism and Anarchism are parts of the same thing, in the sense that - the terminal points of a road are parts of the same road. Between them, - about midway, lies the system that we have the happiness to endure. - It is a “blend” of Socialism and Anarchism in about equal parts: all - that is not one is the other. Coöperation is Socialism; competition is - Anarchism. Competition carried to its logical conclusion (which only - coöperation prevents or can prevent) would leave no law in force, no - property possible, no life secure.</p> - - <p>Of course the words “coöperation” and “competition” are not here used - in a merely industrial and commercial sense; they are intended to cover - the whole field of human activity. Two voices singing a duet—that is - coöperation—Socialism. Two voices singing each a different tune and - trying to drown each other—that is competition—Anarchism:<span class="pagenum">18</span> each is a - law unto itself—that is to say, it is lawless. Everything that ought to - be done the socialist hopes to do by associated endeavor, as an army - wins battles; Anarchism is socialist in its means only: by coöperation - it tries to render coöperation impossible—combines to kill combination. - Its method says to its purpose: “Thou fool!”</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <p>Everything foretells the doom of authority. The killing of kings is - no new industry; it is as ancient as the race. Always and everywhere - persons in high place have been the assassin’s prey. We have ourselves - lost three presidents by murder, and shall doubtless lose many another - before the book of American history is closed. If anything is new in - this activity of the regicide it is found in the choice of victims. The - contemporary “avenger” slays, not the merely “exalted,” but the good - and the inoffensive—an American president who had struck the chains - from millions of slaves; a Russian czar who against the will and work - of his own powerful nobles had freed their serfs; a French president - from whom the French people had received<span class="pagenum">19</span> nothing but good; a powerless - Austrian empress, whose weight of sorrows had touched the world to - tears; a blameless Italian king beloved of his people; such is a part - of the recent record of the regicide, whose every entry is a tale of - infamy unrelieved by one circumstance of justice, decency or good - intention.</p> - - <p>This recent uniformity of malevolence in the choice of victims is not - without significance. It points unmistakably to two facts: first, that - the selections are made, not by the assassins themselves, but by some - central control inaccessible to individual preference and unaffected - by the fortunes of its instruments; second, that there is a constant - purpose to manifest an antagonism, not to any individual ruler, but to - rulers; not to any system of government, but to government. The issue - is defined, the alignment made, the battle set: Chaos against Order, - Anarchy against Law.</p> - - <h4>III</h4> - - <p>M. Vaillant, the French gentleman who lacked a “good opinion of the - law,” but was singularly rich in the faith that by means of gunpowder - and flying nails humanity could<span class="pagenum">20</span> be brought into a nearer relation - with reason, righteousness and the will of God, is said to have been - nearly devoid of nose. Of this privation M. Vaillant made but slight - account, as was natural, seeing that for but a brief season did he need - even so much of nose as remained to him. Yet before its effacement by - premature disruption of his own petard it must have had a certain value - to him—he would not wantonly have renounced it; and had he foreseen - its extinction by the bomb the iron views of that controversial - device would probably have been denied expression. Albeit (so say the - scientists) doomed to eventual elimination from the scheme of being, - and to the anarchist even now something of an accusing conscience, the - nose is indubitably an excellent thing on man.</p> - - <p>We have grown so accustomed to the presence of this feature that we - take it as a matter of course; its absence is one of the most notable - phenomena of our observation—“an occasion long to be remembered,” as - the society reporter hath it. Yet “abundant testimony sheweth” that - but a few centuries ago noseless men and women were so common all - over Europe as to provoke but little comment when seen and (in their - disagreeable way) heard.<span class="pagenum">21</span> They abounded in all the various walks of - life: there were honored burgomasters without noses; wealthy merchants, - great scholars, artists, teachers. Amongst the humbler classes nasal - destitution was almost as frequent as pecuniary—in the humblest of all, - the most common of all. Writing in the thirteenth century, a chronicler - mentions the retainers and servants of certain Suabian noblemen as - having hardly a whole ear among them—for until a comparatively recent - period man’s tenure of his ears was even more precarious than that - of his nose. In 1436, when a Bavarian woman, Agnes Bernaurian, wife - of Duke Albert the Pious, was dropped off the bridge at Prague, she - persisted in rising to the surface and trying to escape; so the - executioner gave himself the trouble to put a long pole into her hair - and hold her under. A contemporary account of the matter hints that her - disorderly behavior at so solemn a moment was due to the pain caused - by removal of her nose; but as her execution was by order of her own - father it seems more probable that this “extreme penalty of the law” - was not imposed. Without a doubt, though, possession of a nose was an - uncommon (and rather barren) distinction in those days among “persons - designated<span class="pagenum">22</span> to assist the executioner,” as the condemned were civilly - called. Nor, as already said, was it any too common among persons not - as yet consecrated to that service: “Few,” says the chronicler, “have - two noses, and many have none.”</p> - - <p>Man’s firmer grasp upon his nose in this our day and generation is - not altogether due to invention of the handkerchief. The genesis and - development of his right to his own nose have been accompanied with a - corresponding advance in possessory rights all along the line of his - belongings—his ears, his fingers and toes, his skin, his bones, his - wife and her young, his clothes and his labor—everything that is (and - that once was not) his. In Europe and America to-day these things can - not be taken away from even the humblest and poorest without somebody - wanting to “know the reason why.” In every decade the nation that is - most powerful upon the seas incurs voluntarily a vast expense of blood - and treasure in suppressing a slave trade which in no way is injurious - to her interests, nor to the interests of any but the slaves.</p> - - <p>To-day even the lowliest incapable of all Nature’s aborted has a nose - that he dares to call his own and bite off at his own sweet will.<span class="pagenum">23</span> - Unfortunately, with an unthinkable fatuity we permit him to be told - that but for the very agencies that have put him in possession he could - successfully assert a God-given and world-old right to the noses of - others. At present the honest fellow is mainly engaged in refreshing - himself upon his own nose, consuming that comestible with avidity - and precision; but the Vaillants, Ravechols, Mosts and Hearsts are - pointing his appetite to other snouts than his, and inspiring him with - rhinophagic ambition. Meantime the rest of us are using these imperiled - organs to snore with.</p> - - <p>’Tis a fine, resonant and melodious snore, but it is not going to last: - there is to be a rude awakening. We shall one day get our eyes open to - the fact that scoundrels like Vaillant are neither few nor distant. - We shall learn that our blind dependence upon the magic of words is a - fatuous error; that the fortuitous arrangement of consonants and vowels - which we worship as Liberty is of slight efficacy in disarming the - lunatic brandishing a bomb. Liberty, indeed! The murderous wretch loves - it a deal better than we, and wants more of it. Liberty! one almost - sickens of the word, so quick and glib it is on every lip—so destitute - of meaning.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">24</span></p> - - <p>There is no such thing as abstract liberty; it is not even thinkable. - If you ask me, “Do you favor liberty?” I reply, “Liberty for whom to - do what?” Just now I distinctly favor the liberty of the law to cut - off the noses of anarchists caught red-handed or red-tongued. If they - go in for mutilation let them feel what it is like. If they are not - satisfied with the way that things have been going on since the wife of - Duke Albert the Pious was held under water with a pole, and since the - servitors of the Suabian nobleman cherished their vestigial ears, it is - to be presumed that they favor reversion to that happy state. There is - grave objection, but if we must we will. Let us begin (with moderation) - by reverting <i>them</i>.</p> - - <p>I favor mutilation for anarchists convicted of killing or inciting to - kill—mutilation followed by death; for those who merely deny the right - and expediency of law, plain mutilation—which might advantageously take - the form of removal of the tongue. Why not? Where is the injustice? - Surely he who denies men’s right to make laws will not invoke the laws - that they have wickedly made! That were to say that they must not - protect themselves, yet are bound to protect him. What!<span class="pagenum">25</span> if I beat him - will he call the useless and mischievous constabulary? If I draw out - his tongue shall he (in the sign-language) demand it back, and failing - of restitution (for surely I should cut it clean away) shall he have - the law on me—the naughty law, instrument of the oppressor? Why, that - “goes neare to be fonny!”</p> - - <h4>IV</h4> - - <p>Two human beings can not live together in peace without laws—many - laws. Everything that either, in consideration of the other’s wish or - welfare, abstains from is inhibited by law, tacit or expressed. If - there were in all the world none but they—if neither had come with any - sense of obligation toward the other, both clean from creation, with - nothing but brains to direct their conduct—every hour would evolve an - understanding, that is to say, a law; every act would suggest one. They - would have to agree not to kill nor harm each other. They must arrange - their work and all their activities to secure the best advantage. These - arrangements, agreements, understandings—what are they but laws? To - live without law is to live alone. Every family is a<span class="pagenum">26</span> miniature state - with a complicate system of laws, a supreme authority and subordinate - authorities down to the latest babe. And as he who is loudest in - demanding liberty for himself is sternest in denying it to others, - you may confidently go to the Maison Vaillant, or the Mosthaus, for a - flawless example of the iron hand.</p> - - <p>Laws of the state are as faulty and as faultily administered as - those of the family. Most of them have to be speedily and repeatedly - “amended,” many repealed, and of those permitted to stand, the greater - number fall into disuse and are forgotten. Those who have to be - entrusted with the duty of administering them have all the limitations - of intelligence and defects of character by which the rest of us also - are distinguished from the angels. In the wise governor, the just - judge, the honest sheriff or the patient constable we have as rare a - phenomenon as the faultless father. The good God has not given us a - special kind of men upon whom to devolve the duty of seeing to the - observance of the understandings that we call laws. Like all else - that men do, this work is badly done. The best that we can hope for - through all the failures, the injustice, the disheartening damage to - individual<span class="pagenum">27</span> rights and interests, is a fairly good general result, - enabling us to walk abroad among our fellows unafraid, to meet even the - tribesmen from another valley without too imminent a peril of braining - and evisceration. Of that small security the anarchist would deprive - us. But without that nothing is of value and we shall be willing to - renounce the anarchist.</p> - - <p>Our system of civilization, being the natural outgrowth of our moral - and intellectual natures, is open to criticism and subject to revision. - Our laws, being of human origin, are faulty and their application - is disappointing. Dissent, dissatisfaction, deprecation, proposals - for a better system fortified with better laws more intelligently - administered—these are permissible and should be welcome. The decent - socialist (when he is not carried away by zeal to pool issues with the - anarchist) may have that in him which it does us good to hear. Wrong in - all else, he may be right in showing us wherein we ourselves are wrong. - Anyhow, his desire is amendment, and so long as his paths are peace - he has the right to walk therein, exhorting as he goes. The French - communist who does not preach Petroleum and It Rectified is to be - regarded with more than amusement, more than compassion.<span class="pagenum">28</span> There is room - for him and his fad; there are hospitable ears for his boast that Jesus - Christ would have been a communist if there had been communes. They - really “did not know everything down in Judee.” But for the anarchist, - whose aim is not amendment, but destruction—not welfare to the race, - but mischief to a part of it—not happiness for the future, but revenge - for the past—for that animal there should be no close season, for that - savage no reservation. Society has not the right to grant life to - one who denies the right to live. The proponent of reversion to the - <i>régime</i> of lacking noses should lack a nose.</p> - - <h4>V</h4> - - <p>Of all the wild asses that roam the plain, the wildest wild ass that - roams the plain is indubitably the one that lifts his voice and heel - against that Socialism known as “public ownership of public utilities,” - on the ground of “principle.” There may be honest, and in some degree - intelligent, opposition on the ground of expediency. Many persons - whom it is a pleasure to respect believe that a government railway, - for example, would be less efficiently managed than the same railway - in<span class="pagenum">29</span> private hands, and that political dangers lurk in the proposal so - enormously to increase the number of Federal employees as government - ownership of railways would entail. They think, in other words, that - the policy is inexpedient. It is a duty to reason with them, which, - as a rule, one can do without being insulted. But he who greets the - proposal with a howl of derision as “Socialism!” is not a respectable - opponent. Eyes he has, but he sees not; ears—O, very abundant ears—but - he hears not the still, small voice of history, nor the still smaller - voice of common sense.</p> - - <p>Obviously to those who, having eyes, do see, public ownership of - anything is a step in the direction of Socialism, for perfect Socialism - means public ownership of everything. But “principle” has nothing to - do with it. The principle of public ownership is already accepted and - established. It has no visible opponents except in the camp of the - anarchists, and fewer of them are visible there than soap and water - would reveal. Antagonists of the principle of Socialism lost their - fight when the first human government held the dedicatory exercises of - a cave of legislation. Since then the only question about the matter - has been how far the extension of Socialism is expedient.<span class="pagenum">30</span> Some would - draw the limiting line at one place, some at another; but only a fool - thinks there can be government without it, or good government without a - great deal of it. (The fact that we have always had a great deal of it, - yet never had good government, affirms nothing that it is worth while - to consider.) The word-worn example of our postal department is only - one of a thousand instances of pure Socialism. If it did not exist, - how bitter an opposition a proposal to establish it would evoke from - adversaries of the Red Rag! The government builds and operates bridges - with general assent; but, as the late General Walker pointed out, it - may under some circumstances be more economical, or better otherwise, - to build and operate a ferry boat, which is a floating bridge. But that - is opposed as rank Socialism.</p> - - <p>The truth is that the men of “principle” are a pretty dangerous class, - generally speaking—and they are generally speaking. It is they that - hamper us in every war. It is they who, preventing concentration and - regulation of unabolishable evils, promote their distribution and - liberty. Moral principles are pretty good things—for the young and - those not well grounded in goodness. If one have an impediment<span class="pagenum">31</span> in - his thought, or is otherwise unequal to emergencies as they arise, - it is safest to be provided beforehand with something to refer to in - order that a right decision may be made without taking thought. But - spirits of a purer fire prefer to decide each question as it comes up, - and to act upon the merits of the case, unbound and unpledged. With a - quick intelligence, a capable conscience and a habit of doing right - automatically, one has little need to burden one’s mind and memory with - a set of solemn principles formulated by owlish philosophers who do not - happen to know that what is right is merely what, in the long run and - with regard to the greater number of cases, is expedient. Principle - is not always an infallible guide. For illustration, it is not always - expedient—that is, for the good of all concerned—to tell the truth, - to be entirely just or merciful, to pay a debt. I can conceive a case - in which it would be right to assassinate one’s neighbor. Suppose him - to be a desperate scoundrel of a chemist who has devised a means of - setting the atmosphere afire. The man who should go through life on - an inflexible line of principle would border his path with a havoc of - human happiness.</p> - - <p>What one may think perfect one may not<span class="pagenum">32</span> always think desirable. By - “perfect” one may mean merely complete, and the word was so used in - my reference to Socialism. I am not myself an advocate of “perfect - Socialism,” but as to government ownership of railways, there is - doubtless a good deal to be said on both sides. One argument in its - favor appears decisive; under a system subject to popular control the - law of gravitation would be shorn of its preëminence as a means of - removing personal property from the baggage car.</p> - - <h4>VI</h4> - - <p>When M. Casimir-Perier resigned the French presidency there were - those who regarded the act as weak, cowardly, undutiful and otherwise - censurable. It seems to me the act, not of a feeble man, but of a - strong one—not that of a coward, but that of a gentleman. Indeed, - I hardly know where to look in history for an act more entirely - gratifying to my sense of the “fitness of things” than this dignified - notification to mankind that in consenting to serve one’s country one - does not relinquish the right to decent treatment—to immunity from - factious opposition and abuse—to<span class="pagenum">33</span> at least as much civil consideration - as is due from the church to the devil.</p> - - <p>M. Casimir-Perier did not seek the presidency of the French republic; - it was thrust upon him against his protestations by an apparently - unanimous mandate of the French people in an emergency which it was - thought that he was the best man to meet. That he met it with modesty - and courage was testified without dissent. That he afterward did - anything to forfeit the confidence and respect that he then inspired is - not true, and nobody believes it true. Yet in his letter of resignation - he said, and said truly:</p> - - <p>“For the last six months a campaign of slander and insult has been - going on against the army, magistrates, Parliament and the hierarchical - Chief of State, and this license to disseminate social hatred continues - to be called ‘liberty of thought.’”</p> - - <p>And with a dignity to which it seems strange that any one could be - insensible, he added:</p> - - <p>“The respect and ambition which I entertain for my country will not - allow me to acknowledge that the servants of the country, and he who - represents it in the presence of foreign nations, may be insulted every - day.”</p> - - <p>These are manly words. Have we any warrant<span class="pagenum">34</span> for demanding or expecting - that men of clean life and character will devote themselves to the good - of ingrates who pay, and ingrates who permit them to pay, in flung mud? - It is hardly credible that among even those persons most infatuated - by contemplation of their own merit as pointed out by their thrifty - sycophants “liberty of thought” has been carried to that extreme. The - right of the State to demand the sacrifice of the citizen’s life is a - doctrine as old as the patriotism that concedes it, but the right to - require him to forego his good name—that is something new under the sun.</p> - - <p>“Perhaps in laying down my functions,” said M. Casimir-Perier, “I shall - have marked out a path of duty to those who are solicitous for the - dignity, power and good name of France in the world.”</p> - - <p>We may be permitted to hope that the lesson is wider than France and - more lasting than the French republic. It is well that not only France - but all other countries with “popular institutions” should learn that - if they wish to command the services of men of honor they must accord - them honorable treatment; the rule now is for the party to which they - belong to give them a half-hearted support while suffering all other - parties to slander and insult<span class="pagenum">35</span> them. The action of the president of - the French republic in these disgusting circumstances is exceptional - and unusual only in respect of his courage in expressly resenting his - wrong. Everywhere the unreasonable complaint is heard that good men - will not “go into politics;” everywhere the ignorant and malignant - masses and their no less malignant and hardly less ignorant leaders - and spokesmen, having sown the wind of reasonless obstruction and - partisan vilification, are reaping the whirlwind of misrule. So far as - concerns the public service, gentlemen are mostly on a strike against - introduction of the mud-machine. This high-minded political workman, - Casimir-Perier, never showed to so noble advantage as in gathering up - his tools and walking out.</p> - - <p>It may be, and a thousand times has been, urged that abstention from - activity in public affairs by men of brains and character leaves the - business of government in the hands of the incapable and the vicious. - In whose hands, pray, in a republic, does it logically belong? What - does the theory of “representative government” affirm? What is the - lesson of every netherward extension of the suffrage? What do we - mean by permitting it to “broaden<span class="pagenum">36</span> slowly down” to lower and lower - intelligences and moralities?—what but that stupidity and vice, equally - with virtue and wisdom, are entitled to a voice in political affairs?</p> - - <p>A person that is fit to vote is fit to be voted for. He who is - competent for the high and difficult function of choosing an officer - of the state is competent to serve the state as an officer. To deny - him the right is illogical and unjust. Participation in government - can not be at the same time a privilege and a duty, and he who claims - it as a privilege must not speak of another’s renunciation (whereby - himself is more highly privileged) as “shirking.” With every retirement - from politics increased power passes to those who remain. Shall they - protest? Who else is to protest? The complaint of “incivism” would be - more reasonable if there were some one by whom it could reasonably be - made.</p> - - <p>The public officials of this favored country, Heaven be thanked, are - infrequently slandered: they are, as a rule, so bad that calumniation - is a compliment. Our best men, with here and there an exception, have - been driven out of public life, or made afraid to enter it. Even our - spasmodic efforts at reform fail ludicrously for lack of leaders - unaffiliated with<span class="pagenum">37</span> “the thing to be reformed.” Unless attracted by the - salary, why should a gentleman “aspire” to the presidency of the United - States? During his canvass (and he is expected to “run,” not merely to - “stand”) he will have from his own party a support that should make - him blush, and from all the others an opposition that will stick at - nothing to accomplish his satisfactory defamation. After his election - his partition and allotment of the loaves and fishes will estrange an - important and thenceforth implacable faction of his following without - appeasing the animosity of any one else. At the finish of his term the - utmost that he can expect in the way of reward not expressible in terms - of the national currency is that not much more than one-half of his - countrymen will believe him a scoundrel to the end of their days.</p> - - <h4>VII</h4> - - <p>The trend of political thought and action in all civilized countries - toward absolute Socialism is so conspicuous a phenomenon that it not - only impresses that rare and execrated intelligence, the impartial - observer, “the looker-on at the game,” but is seen with greater<span class="pagenum">38</span> or - less distinctness by the innumerable company of players. A political - faith is a kind of mental disability; the patient dimly discerns some - of the more salient of the “opposing facts,” but those grateful to - his disorder loom large indeed. The proposition that the established - order of things is in peril, has, therefore, both a stammering and a - stentorian assent and needs no proof. Whether that is for better or for - worse is not to be answered in an epigram, nor in a paragraph, but from - the viewpoint of the looker-on with no more than an observer’s interest - in the matter, little is seen to encourage the optimist—little even of - the little that he requires.</p> - - <p>Down to date the world never has had good government. For forms of - government fools have contested from the dawn of history, but no form - has given good and wise administration. Government is like medicine; - those who administer it are, as a rule, wiser than those to whom it is - administered, though not much. In point of conscience there is little - to choose between them.</p> - - <p>There are two forms of real government; absolute Monarchy and absolute - Democracy; all others are bastard forms attesting the failure of these, - and themselves doomed to fail.<span class="pagenum">39</span> The cause of failure lies in the - essential folly and badness of human nature. From a stupid and selfish - people there is no certainty of getting a wise and conscientious - sovereign. Even when that miracle has been wrought, good government has - not resulted, for the sovereign, however absolute in theory, however - good and wise in fact, is compelled to work through shallow and selfish - officials. Democracy suffers the same disability, with the added - disadvantage of a sovereign that is never wise and never just.</p> - - <p>As to limited Monarchies and constitutional Democracies, they - are similarly and equally futile. Divided authority is divided - responsibility. Restraint of the power to do evil is restraint of - the power to do good. Under the “one-man power” (a name, by the way, - that our good forefathers singularly chose to give to the rule of the - British ministry and parliament) it is at least known who is to blame - for sins of administration, and to whom is due the credit for what is - creditable. The autocrat can not hide behind his own back.</p> - - <p>In all the various and vain experiments in government the one cause - of failure is eternally manifest; the general moral and intellectual - delinquency that makes government necessary—the<span class="pagenum">40</span> folly and depravity of - human nature.</p> - - <p>Do the socialists think that they can alter that?—do they believe that - after all these centuries of thought and experiment in government in - all possible conditions, it has remained for them to devise a system - powerful to chain or persuasive to charm the hitherto indomitable and - vigilant selfishness to which, despite its ghastly perversions, the - race owes its continued existence? Do they believe that under Socialism - the laws will execute themselves without human agency; that less than - to-day the state will require a vast and complex administration, with - the same and greater temptations and opportunities to ambition and - cupidity?</p> - - <p>Under any conceivable system the cleverest, most enterprising and least - scrupulous men will be at the head of affairs, and they will not be - there “for their health.” You cannot keep them down, and you cannot - keep the others up. If the socialist thinks that can be done, he must - hold in hope a better kind of ballot than the kind that works him - present woe, or a brand-new infallibility for its casting.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">41</span></p> - - <h4>VIII</h4> - - <p>A government that does not protect life is a flat failure, no matter - what else it may do. Life being almost universally regarded as the - most precious possession, its security is the first and highest - essential—not the life of him who takes life, but the life which - is exposed defenceless to his hateful hand. In no country in the - world, civilized or savage, is life so insecure as in this. In no - country in the world is murder held in so light reprobation. In no - battle of modern times have so many lives been taken as are lost - annually in the United States through public indifference to the - crime of homicide—through disregard of law, through bad government. - If American self-government with its ten thousand homicides a year - is good government there is no such thing as bad. Self-government? - What monstrous nonsense! Who governs himself needs no government, - has no governor, is not governed. If government has any meaning it - means the restraint of the many by the few—the subordination of - numbers to brains. It means denial to the masses of the right to cut - their own throats and ours. It means grasp and control of all social - forces and material<span class="pagenum">42</span> enginery—a vigilant censorship of the press, a - firm hand upon the churches, keen supervision of public meetings and - public amusements, command of the railroads, telegraph and all means - of communication. It means, in short, ability to make use of all - beneficent influences of enlightenment for the general good, and to - array all the powers of civilization against civilization’s natural - enemies—“the masses.” Government like this has a thousand defects, but - it has one merit: it is government.</p> - - <p>Despotism? Yes. It is the despotisms of the world that have been the - conservators of civilization. It is the despot who, most powerful for - mischief, is alone powerful for good. It is conceded that government is - necessary—even by the “fierce democracies” that madly renounce it. But - in so far as government is not despotic it is not government. In Europe - for the last one hundred years, the trend of government has been toward - liberalization. Sovereign after sovereign has surrendered prerogative - after prerogative; the nobility, privilege after privilege. Mark - the result: society honeycombed with treason; property menaced with - partition; assassination studied as a science and practiced as an art; - everywhere<span class="pagenum">43</span> powerful secret organizations sworn to demolish the social - fabric that the slow centuries have but just erected, and unmindful - that themselves will perish in the wreck. No heart can beat tranquilly - under clean linen. Such is the gratitude, such is the wisdom, such the - virtue of “The Masses.”</p> - - <p>That ancient and various device, “a republican form of government,” - appears to be too good for all the peoples of the earth excepting - one. It is partly successful in Switzerland; in France and America, - where the majority is composed of persons having dark understandings - and criminal instincts, it has broken down. In our case, as in every - case, the momentum of successful revolution carried us too far. We - rebelled against tyranny and having overthrown it, overthrew also the - governmental form in which it had happened to be manifest. In their - anger and their triumph our good grandfathers acted somewhat in the - spirit of the Irishman who cudgeled the dead snake until nothing of - it was left, in order to make it “sinsible of its desthruction.” They - meant it all, too, honest souls! For a long time after the setting up - of the republic the republic meant active hatred to kings, nobles, - aristocracies. It was held, and rightly<span class="pagenum">44</span> held, that a nobleman could - not breathe in America—that he left his title and his privileges on - the ship that brought him over. Do we observe anything of that in this - generation? On the landing of a foreign king, prince or nobleman—even - a miserable “knight”—do we not execute sycophantic genuflexions? - Are not our newspapers full of flamboyant descriptions and qualming - adulation? Nay, does not our president himself—successor to Washington - and Jefferson!—greet and entertain the “nation’s guest”? Is not the - American young woman crazy to mate with a male of title? Does all - this represent no retrogression?—is it not the backward movement of - the shadow on the dial? Doubtless the republican idea has struck - strong roots into the soil of the two Americas, but he who rightly - considers the tendencies of events, the causes that bring them about - and the consequences that flow from them, will not be hot to affirm - the perpetuity of republican institutions in the Western Hemisphere. - Between their inception and their present stage of development there - is scarcely the beat of a pendulum; and already, by corruption and - lawlessness, the people of both continents, with all their diversities - of race and character,<span class="pagenum">45</span> have shown themselves about equally unfit. - To become a nation of scoundrels all that any people needs is - opportunity; and what we are pleased to call by the impossible name of - “self-government” supplies it.</p> - - <p>The capital defect of republican government is inability to repress - internal forces tending to disintegration. It does not take long for a - “self-governed” people to learn that it is not really governed—that an - agreement enforcible by nobody but the parties to it is not binding. - We are learning this very rapidly: we set aside our laws whenever we - please. The sovereign power—the tribunal of ultimate jurisdiction—is - a mob. If the mob is large enough (it need not be very large), even - if composed of vicious tramps, it may do as it will. It may destroy - property and life. It may without proof of guilt inflict upon - individuals torments unthinkable by fire and flaying, mutilations - that are nameless. It may call men, women and children from their - beds and beat them to death with cudgels. In the light of day it may - assail the very strongholds of law in the heart of a populous city, - and assassinate prisoners of whose guilt it knows nothing. And these - things—observe, O victims of kings—are habitually done.<span class="pagenum">46</span> One would as - well be at the mercy of one’s sovereign as of one’s neighbor.</p> - - <p>The anarchist himself is persuaded of the superiority of our plan of - dealing with him; he likes it and “comes over” in quantity, impesting - the political atmosphere with the “sweltered venom” engendered by - centuries of “oppression”—comes over here, where he is not oppressed, - and sets up as oppressor. His preferred field of malefaction is the - country that is most nearly anarchical. He comes here, partly to better - himself under our milder institutions, partly to secure immunity - while conspiring to destroy them. There is thunder in Europe, but if - the storm ever break it is in America that the lightning will first - fall. Here is a great vortex into which the decivilizing agencies are - pouring without obstruction. Here gather the eagles to the feast, - for the quarry is defenceless. Here is no power in government, - no government. Here an enemy of order is thought to be the least - dangerous when most free. And here is nothing between him and his - task of subversion—no pampered soldiery to repress his rising, no - iron authority to lay him by the heels. The militia is fraternal, the - magistracy elective. Europe may hold out a little longer. The<span class="pagenum">47</span> great - powers may make what stage-play they will, but they are not maintaining - their incalculable armaments solely for aggression upon one another - and protection from one another, nor for fun. These vast forces are - mainly constabular—creatures and creators of discontent—phenomena of - decivilization. Eventually they will fraternize with Disorder or become - themselves Praetorian Guards more dangerous than the perils that have - called them into existence.</p> - - <p>It is easy to forecast the first stages of the End’s approach: Rioting. - Disaffection of constabulary and troops. Subversion of the Government. - A policy of decapitation. Parliament of the people. Divided counsels. - Pandemonium. The man on horseback. Gusts of grape. ——?</p> - - <p>The gods kept their secrets by telling them to Cassandra, whom nobody - believed. I am entrusted with the secret that the shadow on the dial - of civilization is moving backward. Believe or disbelieve—what matter? - Revelers with wine-dipped wreaths upon their heads do not care to know - the hour. Yet there are signs and portents—whispers and cries in the - air; stealthy tread of invisible feet along the ground; sudden clamor - of startled fowls at<span class="pagenum">48</span> dead o’ the night; crimson dew-drops on the - roadside grass of a morning. But pray do not disturb yourselves: eat, - drink and be merry, for to-morrow comes Logical Democracy.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">49</span> - <h3 id="CIVILIZATION">CIVILIZATION</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">THE question “Does civilization civilize?” is a fine example of - <i>petitio principii</i>, and decides itself in the affirmative; for - civilization must needs do that from the doing of which it has its - name. But it is not necessary to suppose that he who propounds is - either unconscious of his lapse in logic or desirous of digging a - pitfall for the feet of those who discuss; I take it he simply wishes - to put the matter in an impressive way, and relies upon a certain - degree of intelligence in the interpretation.</p> - - <p>Concerning uncivilized peoples we know but little except what we are - told by travelers—who, speaking generally, can know very little but - the fact of uncivilization, as shown in externals and irrelevances, - and are moreover, greatly given to lying. From the savages we hear - very little. Judging them in all things by our own standards in - default of<span class="pagenum">50</span> a knowledge of theirs, we necessarily condemn, disparage - and belittle. One thing that civilization certainly has not done is - to make us intelligent enough to understand that the contrary of a - virtue is not necessarily a vice. Because, as a rule, we have but one - wife and several mistresses each it is not certain that polygamy is - everywhere—nor, for that matter, anywhere—either wrong or inexpedient. - Because the brutality of the civilized slave owners and dealers - created a conquering sentiment against slavery it is not intelligent - to assume that slavery is a maleficent thing amongst Oriental peoples - (for example) where the slave is not oppressed. Some of these same - Orientals whom we are pleased to term half-civilized have no regard - for truth. “Takest thou me for a Christian dog,” said one of them, - “that I should be the slave of my word?” So far as I can perceive, - the “Christian dog” is no more the slave of his word than the True - Believer, and I think the savage—allowing for the fact that his - inveracity has dominion over fewer things—as great a liar as either of - them. For my part, I do not know what, in all circumstances, is right - or wrong; but I know that, if right, it is at least stupid, to judge an - uncivilized people<span class="pagenum">51</span> by the standards of morality and intelligence set - up by civilized ones. Life in civilized countries is so complex that - men there have more ways to be good than savages have, and more to be - bad; more to be happy, and more to be miserable. And in each way to be - good or bad, their generally superior knowledge—their knowledge of more - things—enables them to commit greater excesses than the savage can. The - civilized philanthropist wreaks upon his fellows a ranker philanthropy, - the civilized rascal a sturdier rascality. And—splendid triumph of - enlightenment!—the two characters are, in civilization, frequently - combined in one person.</p> - - <p>I know of no savage custom or habit of thought which has not its mate - in civilized countries. For every mischievous or absurd practice of the - natural man I can name you one of ours that is essentially the same. - And nearly every custom of our barbarian ancestors in historic times - persists in some form to-day. We make ourselves look formidable in - battle—for that matter, we fight. Our women paint their faces. We feel - it obligatory to dress more or less alike, inventing the most ingenious - reasons for doing so and actually despising and persecuting those who - do<span class="pagenum">52</span> not care to conform. Almost within the memory of living persons - bearded men were stoned in the streets; and a clergyman in New York - who wore his beard as Christ wore his, was put into jail and variously - persecuted till he died.</p> - - <p>Civilization does not, I think, make the race any better. It makes - men know more: and if knowledge makes them happy it is useful and - desirable. The one purpose of every sane human being is to be happy. - No one can have any other motive than that. There is no such thing as - unselfishness. We perform the most “generous” and “self-sacrificing” - acts because we should be unhappy if we did not. We move on lines of - least reluctance. Whatever tends to increase the beggarly sum of human - happiness is worth having; nothing else has any value.</p> - - <p>The cant of civilization fatigues. Civilization is a fine and beautiful - structure. It is as picturesque as a Gothic cathedral, but it is - built upon the bones and cemented with the blood of those whose part - in all its pomp is that and nothing more. It cannot be reared in the - ungenerous tropics, for there the people will not contribute their - blood and bones. The proposition that the average<span class="pagenum">53</span> American workingman - or European peasant is “better off” than the South Sea islander, - lolling under a palm and drunk with overeating, will not bear a - moment’s examination. It is we scholars and gentlemen that are better - off.</p> - - <p>It is admitted that the South Sea islander in a state of nature is - overmuch addicted to the practice of eating human flesh; but concerning - that I submit: first, that he likes it; second, that those who - supply it are mostly dead. It is upon his enemies that he feeds, and - these he would kill anyhow, as we do ours. In civilized, enlightened - and Christian countries, where cannibalism has not yet established - itself, wars are as frequent and destructive as among the maneaters. - The untitled savage knows at least why he goes killing, whereas our - private soldier is commonly in black ignorance of the apparent cause - of quarrel—of the actual cause, always. Their shares in the fruits of - victory are about equal, for the chief takes all the dead, the general - all the glory.</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <p>Transplanted institutions grow slowly; civilization can not be put into - a ship and carried<span class="pagenum">54</span> across an ocean. The history of this country is a - sequence of illustrations of these truths. It was settled by civilized - men and women from civilized countries, yet after two and a half - centuries, with unbroken communication with the mother systems, it is - still imperfectly civilized. In learning and letters, in art and the - science of government, America is but a faint and stammering echo of - Europe.</p> - - <p>For nearly all that is good in our American civilization we are - indebted to the Old World; the errors and mischiefs are of our own - creation. We have originated little, because there is little to - originate, but we have unconsciously reproduced many of the discredited - systems of former ages and other countries—receiving them at second - hand, but making them ours by the sheer strength and immobility of the - national belief in their novelty. Novelty! Why, it is not possible to - make an experiment in government, in art, in literature, in sociology, - or in morals, that has not been made over, and over, and over again.</p> - - <p>The glories of England are our glories. She can achieve nothing that - our fathers did not help to make possible to her. The learning, the - power, the refinement of a great nation, are not the growth of a - century, but of<span class="pagenum">55</span> many centuries; each generation builds upon the work - of the preceding. For untold ages our ancestors wrought to rear that - “reverend pile,” the civilization of England. And shall we now try to - belittle the mighty structure because other though kindred hands are - laying the top courses while we have elected to found a new tower in - another land? The American eulogist of civilization who is not proud - of his heritage in England’s glory is unworthy to enjoy his lesser - heritage in the lesser glory of his own country.</p> - - <p>The English are undoubtedly our intellectual superiors; and as the - virtues are solely the product of intelligence and cultivation—a - rogue being only a dunce considered from another point of view—they - are our moral superiors likewise. Why should they not be? Theirs is a - land, not of ugly schoolhouses grudgingly erected, containing schools - supported by such niggardly tax levies as a sparse and hard-handed - population will consent to pay, but of ancient institutions splendidly - endowed by the state and by centuries of private benefaction. As a - means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school - system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin - to give everyone<span class="pagenum">56</span> enough to make him a more competent fool than he - would have been without it; but to compare it with that which is not - the creature of legislation acting with malice aforethought, but the - unnoted outgrowth of ages, is to be ridiculous. It is like comparing - the laid-out town of a western prairie, its right-angled streets, prim - cottages, and wooden a-b-c shops, with the grand old town of Oxford, - topped with the clustered domes and towers of its twenty-odd great - colleges, the very names of many of whose founders have perished from - human record, as have the chronicles of the times in which they lived.</p> - - <p>It is not only that we have had to “subdue the wilderness;” our - educational conditions are adverse otherwise. Our political system is - unfavorable. Our fortunes, accumulated in one generation, are dispersed - in the next. If it takes three generations to make a gentleman one - will not make a thinker. Instruction is acquired, but capacity for - instruction is transmitted. The brain that is to contain a trained - intellect is not the result of a haphazard marriage between a clown - and a wench, nor does it get its tractable tissues from a hard-headed - farmer and a soft-headed milliner. If you confess the importance of - race and pedigree<span class="pagenum">57</span> in a horse and a dog how dare you deny it in a man?</p> - - <p>I do not hold that the political and social system that creates an - aristocracy of leisure is the best possible kind of human organization; - I perceive its disadvantages clearly enough. But I do hold that - a system under which most important public trusts, political and - professional, civil and military, ecclesiastical and secular, are held - by educated men—that is, men of trained faculties and disciplined - judgment—is not an altogether faulty system.</p> - - <p>It is a universal human weakness to disparage the knowledge that we do - not ourselves possess, but it is only my own beloved country that can - justly boast herself the last refuge and asylum of the impotents and - incapables who deny the advantage of all knowledge whatsoever. It was - an American senator who declared that he had devoted a couple of weeks - to the study of finance, and found the accepted authorities all wrong. - It was another American senator who, confronted with certain hostile - facts in the history of another country, proposed “to brush away all - facts, and argue the question on considerations of plain common sense.”</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">58</span></p> - - <p>Republican institutions have this disadvantage: by incessant changes - in the <i>personnel</i> of government—to say nothing of the manner of - men that ignorant constituencies elect; and all constituencies are - ignorant—we attain to no fixed principles and standards. There is no - such thing here as a science of politics, because it is not to any - one’s interest to make politics the study of his life. Nothing is - settled; no truth finds general acceptance. What we do one year we undo - the next, and do over again the year following. Our energy is wasted - in, and our prosperity suffers from, experiments endlessly repeated.</p> - - <p>Every patriot believes his country better than any other country. Now, - they cannot all be the best; indeed, only one can be the best, and it - follows that the patriots of all the others have suffered themselves - to be misled by a mere sentiment into blind unreason. In its active - manifestation—it is fond of killing—patriotism would be well enough - if it were simply defensive; but it is also aggressive, and the same - feeling that prompts us to strike for our altars and our fires impels - us over the border to quench the fires and overturn the altars of our - neighbors. It is all very pretty and spirited, what the poets tell us - about<span class="pagenum">59</span> Thermopylæ, but there was as much patriotism at one end of that - pass as there was at the other.</p> - - <p>Patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the - interests of a whole to the interests of a part. Worse still, the - fraction so favored is determined by an accident of birth or residence. - The Western hoodlum who cuts the tail from a Chinaman’s nowl, and would - cut the nowl from the body if he dared, is simply a patriot with a - logical mind, having the courage of his opinions. Patriotism is fierce - as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.</p> - - <h4>III</h4> - - <p>There are two ways of clarifying liquids—ebullition and precipitation; - one forces the impurities to the surface as scum, the other sends them - to the bottom as dregs. The former is the more offensive, and that - seems to be our way; but neither is useful if the impurities are merely - separated but not removed. We are told with tiresome iteration that our - social and political systems are clarifying; but when is the skimmer to - appear? If the purpose of free institutions is good<span class="pagenum">60</span> government where - is the good government?—when may it be expected to begin?—how is it to - come about? Systems of government have no sanctity; they are practical - means to a simple end—the public welfare; worthy of no respect if they - fail of its accomplishment. The tree is known by its fruit. Ours is - bearing crab-apples. If the body politic is constitutionally diseased, - as I verily believe; if the disorder inheres in the system; there is - no remedy. The fever must burn itself out, and then Nature will do the - rest. One does not prescribe what time alone can administer. We have - put our criminals and dunces into power; do we suppose they will efface - themselves? Will they restore to <i>us</i> the power of governing - <i>them</i>? They must have their way and go their length. The natural - and immemorial sequence is: tyranny, insurrection, combat. In combat - everything that wears a sword has a chance—even the right. History - does not forbid us to hope. But it forbids us to rely upon numbers; - they will be against us. If history teaches anything worth learning - it teaches that the majority of mankind is neither good nor wise. - When government is founded upon the public conscience and the public - intelligence the stability of states is a dream.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">61</span></p> - - <p>In that moment of time that is covered by historical records we have - abundant evidence that each generation has believed itself wiser and - better than any of its predecessors; that each people has believed - itself to have the secret of national perpetuity. In support of this - universal delusion there is nothing to be said; the desolate places of - the earth cry out against it. Vestiges of obliterated civilizations - cover the earth; no savage but has camped upon the sites of proud and - populous cities; no desert but has heard the statesman’s boast of - national stability. Our nation, our laws, our history—all shall go down - to everlasting oblivion with the others, and by the same road. But I - submit that we are traveling it with needless haste.</p> - - <p>It can be spared—this Jonah’s-gourd civilization of ours. We have - hardly the rudiments of a true one; compared with the splendors - of which we catch dim glimpses in the fading past, ours are as an - illumination of tallow candles. We know no more than the ancients; - we only know other things, but nothing in which is an assurance of - perpetuity, and little that is truly wisdom. Our vaunted <i>elixir - vitæ</i> is the art of printing. What good will that do when posterity, - struck by the inevitable<span class="pagenum">62</span> intellectual blight, shall have ceased to - read what is printed? Our libraries will become its stables, our books - its fuel.</p> - - <p>Ours is a civilization that might be heard from afar in space as - a scolding and a riot; a civilization in which the race has so - differentiated as to have no longer a community of interest and - feeling; which shows as a ripe result of the principles underlying it - a reasonless and rascally feud between rich and poor; in which one is - offered a choice (if one have the means to take it) between American - plutocracy and European militocracy, with an imminent chance of - renouncing either for a stultocratic republic with a headsman in the - presidential chair and every laundress in exile.</p> - - <p>I have not a “solution” to the “labor problem.” I have only a story. - Many and many years ago lived a man who was so good and wise that none - in all the world was so good and wise as he. He was one of those few - whose goodness and wisdom are such that after some time has passed - their foolish fellowmen begin to think them gods and treasure their - words as divine law; and by millions they are worshiped through - centuries of time. Amongst the utterances of this man was one<span class="pagenum">63</span> - command—not a new nor perfect one—which has seemed to his adorers so - preëminently wise that they have given it a name by which it is known - over half the world. One of the sovereign virtues of this famous law - is its simplicity, which is such that all hearing must understand; and - obedience is so easy that any nation refusing is unfit to exist except - in the turbulence and adversity that will surely come to it. When a - people would avert want and strife, or, having them, would restore - plenty and peace, this noble commandment offers the only means—all - other plans for safety or relief are as vain as dreams, as empty as the - crooning of hags. And behold, here it is: “All things whatsoever ye - would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.”</p> - - <p>What! you unappeasable rich, coining the sweat and blood of your - workmen into drachmas, understanding the law of supply and demand as - mandatory and justifying your cruel greed by the senseless dictum that - “business is business;” you lazy workmen, railing at the capitalist - by whose desertion, when you have frightened away his capital, you - starve—rioting and shedding blood and torturing and poisoning by way - of answer to exaction and by way of exaction; you foul anarchists,<span class="pagenum">64</span> - applauding with untidy palms when one of your coward kind hurls a - bomb amongst powerless and helpless women and children; you imbecile - politicians with a plague of remedial legislation for the irremediable; - you writers and thinkers unread in history, with as many “solutions - to the labor problem” as there are among you those who can not - coherently define it—do you really think yourselves wiser than Jesus - of Nazareth? Do you seriously suppose yourselves competent to amend - his plan for dealing with evils besetting nations and souls? Have you - the effrontery to believe that those who spurn his Golden Rule you can - bind to obedience of an act entitled an act to amend an act? Bah! you - fatigue the spirit. Go get ye to your scoundrel lockouts, your villain - strikes, your blacklisting, your boycotting, your speeching, marching - and maundering; but if ye do not to others as ye would that they do to - you it shall occur, and that right soon, that ye be drowned in your own - blood and your pickpocket civilization quenched as a star that falls - into the sea.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">65</span> - <h3 id="THE_GAME_OF_POLITICS">THE GAME OF POLITICS</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">IF ONE were to declare himself a Democrat or a Republican and the claim - should be contested he would find it a difficult one to prove. The - missing link in his chain of evidence would be the major premise in - the syllogism necessary to the establishment of his political status—a - definition of “Democrat” or “Republican.” Most of the statesmen in - public and private life who are poll-parroting these words, do so with - entire unconsciousness of their meaning, or rather without knowledge - that they have lost whatever meaning they once had. The words are mere - “survivals,” marking dead issues and covering present allegiances of - the loosest character. On any question of importance each party is - divided against itself and dares not formulate a preference. There is - no question before the country upon which one may not think and vote as - he likes without seriously affecting his standing in the denomination - of political saints of which he professes<span class="pagenum">66</span> himself a member. “Party - lines” are as terribly confused as parallels of latitude and longitude - after a twisting earthquake, or those aimless lines representing - competing railroads on a map published by a company operating “the - only direct route.” It is not probable that this state of things can - last; if there is to be “government by party”—and we should be sad to - think that so inestimable a boon were soon to return to Him who gave - it—men must begin to let their angry passions rise and take sides. “Ill - fares the land to hastening ills a prey,” where the people are too wise - to dispute and too good to fight. Let us have the good old political - currency of bloody noses and cracked crowns; let the yawp of the - demagogue be heard in the land; let ears be pestered with the spargent - cheers of the masses. Give us a whoop-up that shall rouse us like a - rattling peal of thunder! Will nobody be our Moses—there should be two - Moseses—to lead us through this detestable wilderness of political - stagnation?</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <p>Nowhere is so much insufferable stuff talked in a given period of - time as in an American<span class="pagenum">67</span> political convention. It is there that all - those objectionable elements of the national character which evoke - the laughter of Europe and are the despair of our friends find freest - expression, unhampered by fear of any censorship more exacting than - that of “the opposing party”—which takes no account of intellectual - delinquencies, but only of moral. The “organs” of the “opposing - party” will not take the trouble to point out—even to observe—that - the “debasing sentiments” and “criminal views” uttered in speech and - platform are expressed in sickening syntax and offensive rhetoric. - Doubtless an American politician, statesman, what you will, could - go into a political convention and signify his views with simple, - unpretentious common sense, but doubtless he never does.</p> - - <p>Every community is cursed with a number of “orators”—men regarded as - “eloquent”—“silver tongued” men—fellows who to the common American - knack at brandishing the tongue add an exceptional felicity of - platitude, a captivating mastery of dog’s-eared sentiment, a copious - and obedient vocabulary of eulogium, an iron insensibility to the - ridiculous and an infinite affinity to fools. These afflicting - Chrysostoms are always lying<span class="pagenum">68</span> in wait for an “occasion.” It matters - not what it is: a “reception” to some great man from abroad, a popular - ceremony like the laying of a corner-stone, the opening of a fair, the - dedication of a public building, an anniversary banquet of an ancient - and honorable order (they all belong to ancient and honorable orders) - or a club dinner—they all belong to clubs and owe dues. But it is in a - political convention that they come out particularly strong. By some - imperious tradition having the force of unwritten law it is decreed - that in these absurd bodies of our fellow citizens no word of sense - shall be uttered from the platform; whatever is uttered in set speeches - shall be addressed to the meanest capacity present. As a chain can be - no stronger than its weakest link, so nothing said by the speakers at a - political convention must be above the intellectual reach of the most - pernicious idiot having a seat and a vote. I don’t know why it is so. - It seems to be thought that if he is not suitably entertained he will - not attend the next convention.</p> - - <p>Here are the opening sentences of the speech in which a man was - recently nominated for governor:</p> - - <p>“Two years ago the Republican party in<span class="pagenum">69</span> state and nation marched to - imperial triumph. On every hilltop and mountain peak our beacons - blazed and we awakened the echoes of every valley with songs of our - rejoicings.”</p> - - <p>And so forth. Now, if I were asked to recast these sentences so that - they should conform to the simple truth and be inoffensive to good - taste I should say something like this:</p> - - <p>“Two years ago the Republican party won a general election.”</p> - - <p>If there is any thing in this inflated rigmarole that is not adequately - expressed in my amended statement, what is it? As to eloquence, it will - hardly be argued that nonsense, falsehood and metaphors which were old - when Rome was young are essential to that. The first man (in early - Greece) who spoke of awakening an echo did a felicitous thing. Was it - felicitous in the second? Is it felicitous now? As to that military - metaphor—the “marching” and so forth—its inventor was as great a fool - as any one of the incalculable multitude of his plagiarists.</p> - - <p>In withdrawing his own name from before a convention, a Californian - politician once made a purely military speech of which a single sample - passage is all that I shall allow myself the happiness to quote:</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">70</span></p> - - <p>“I come before you to-day as a Republican of the Republican banner - county of this great state of ours. From snowy Shasta on the north - to sunny San Diego on the south; from the west, where the waves of - the Pacific look upon our shores, to where the barriers of the great - Sierras stand clad in eternal snow, there is no more loyal county to - the Republican party in this state than the county from which I hail. - Its loyalty to the party has been tested on many fields of battle and - it has never wavered in the contest. Wherever the fate of battle was - trembling in the balance Alameda county stepped into the breach and - rescued the Republican party from defeat.”</p> - - <p>Translated into English, this military mouthing would read somewhat - like this:</p> - - <p>“I live in Alameda county, where the Republicans have uniformly - outvoted the Democrats.”</p> - - <p>The orators at the Democratic convention a week earlier had been no - better and no different. Their rhetorical stock-in-trade was the same - old shop-worn figures of speech in which their predecessors have - dealt for ages, and in which their successors will traffic to the - end of—well, to the end of that imitative quality in the national - character, which, by its<span class="pagenum">71</span> superior intensity, serves to distinguish us - from the apes that perish.</p> - - <h4>III</h4> - - <p>“What we most need, to secure honest elections,” says a well-meaning - reformer, “is the voting machine.” Why, truly, here is a hopeful - spirit—a rare and radiant intelligence suffused with the conviction - that men can be made honest by machinery—that human character is a - matter of gearing, ratchets and dials! One would give something to - know how it feels to be like that. A mind so constituted must be happy - in its hope. It lives in rapturous contemplation of a world of its - own creation—a world where public morality and political good order - are to be had by purchase at the machine-shop. In that delectable - world, religion is superfluous; the true high priest is the mechanical - engineer; the minor clergy are the village blacksmiths. It is rather a - pity that so fine and fair a sphere should swim only in the attenuated - ether of a simpleton’s misunderstanding.</p> - - <p>The voting-machines are doubtless well enough; they save labor and - enable the statesmen of the street to know the result within a<span class="pagenum">72</span> few - minutes of the closing of the polls—whereby many are spared to their - country who would otherwise incur fatal disorders by exposure to the - night air while assisting in awaiting the returns. But a voting-machine - that human ingenuity can not pervert, human ingenuity can not invent. - Honesty has no monopoly of inspiration.</p> - - <p>That is true, too, of laws. Your statesman of a mental stature - somewhat overtopping that of the machine-person puts his faith in law. - Providence has deigned to permit him to be persuaded of the efficacy of - statutes—good, stringent, carefully drawn statutes annulling all the - laws of nature in conflict with any of their provisions. So the poor - devil (I am writing of Mr. Legion) turns for relief from law to law, - ever on the rocks of repentance, yet ever unfouling the anchor of hope. - By no power on earth can his indurated understanding be penetrated by - the truth that his woful state is due, not to any laws of his own, nor - to any lack of them, but to his rascally refusal to obey the Golden - Rule. How long is it since we were all clamoring for the Australian - ballot law, which was to make a new Heaven and a new earth? We have the - Australian ballot law and the same old earth<span class="pagenum">73</span> smelling to the same old - Heaven. Writhe upon the triangle as we may, groan out what new laws - we will, the pitiless thong will fall upon our bleeding backs as long - as we deserve it. If our sins, which are scarlet, are to be washed as - white as wool it must be in the tears of a genuine contrition: our - crocodile deliverances will profit us nothing. We must stop chasing - dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature - and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization. - We must subdue our detestable habit of shaking hands with prosperous - rascals and fawning upon the merely rich. It is not permitted to our - employers to plead in justification of low wages the law of supply - and demand when it is giving them high profits. It is not permitted - to discontented employees to break the bones of contented ones and - destroy the foundations of social order. It is dishonest to look upon - public office with the lust of possession; it is disgraceful to solicit - political preferment, to strive and compete for “honors” that are - sullied and tarnished by the touch of the reaching hand. Until we amend - our personal characters we shall amend our laws in vain. Though Paul - plant and Apollos water, the field of reform will grow<span class="pagenum">74</span> nothing but the - figless thistle and the grapeless thorn.</p> - - <p>The state is an aggregation of individuals. Its public character is the - expression of their personal ones. By no political prestidigitation can - it be made better and wiser than the sum of their goodness and wisdom. - To expect that men who do not honorably and intelligently conduct their - private affairs will honorably and intelligently conduct the affairs - of the community is to be a fool. We are told that out of nothing God - made the heavens and the earth; but out of nothing God never did, and - man never can, make a public sense of honor and a public conscience. - Miracles are now performed on only one day of the year—the twenty-ninth - of February; and in leap years God is forbidden to perform them.</p> - - <h4>IV</h4> - - <p>Ye who hold that the power of eloquence is a thing of the past and - the orator an anachronism; who believe that the trend of political - events and the results of parliamentary action are determined by - committees in cold consultation and the machinations of programmers - in holes and corners, consider the<span class="pagenum">75</span> ascension of Bryan and be wise. A - week before the convention of 1896 William J. Bryan had never heard - of himself; upon his natural obscurity was superposed the opacity of - a congressional service that effaced him from the memory of even his - faithful dog, and made him immune to dunning. A week afterward he - was pinnacled upon the summit of the tallest political distinction, - gasping in the thin atmosphere of his unfamiliar environment and fitly - astonished by the mischance. To the dizzy elevation of his candidacy - he was hoisted out of the shadow by his own tongue, the longest and - liveliest in Christendom. Had he held it—which he could not have done - with a blacksmith’s tongs—there had been no Bryan. His creation was the - unstudied act of his own larynx; it said, “Let there be Bryan,” and - there was Bryan. Even in these degenerate days there is a hope for the - orators when one can make himself a presidential peril by merely waving - the red flag in the cave of the winds and tormenting the circumjacence - with a brandish of abundant hands.</p> - - <p>To be quite honest, I do not entirely believe that Orator Bryan’s - tongue had everything to do with it. I have long been convinced that - personal persuasion is a matter of animal<span class="pagenum">76</span> magnetism—what in its more - obvious manifestation we now call hypnotism. At the back of the words - and the postures, and independent of them, is that secret, mysterious - power, addressing, not the ear, not the eye, nor, through them, the - understanding, but, through its kindred quality in the auditor, - captivating the will and enslaving it. That is how persuasion is - effected; the spoken words merely supply a pretext for surrender. They - enable us to yield without loss of our self-esteem, in the delusion - that we are conceding to reason what is really extorted by control. - The words are necessary, too, to point out what the orator wishes us - to think, if we are not already apprised of it. When the nature of - his power is better understood and frankly recognized, he can spare - himself the toil of talking. The parliamentary debate of the future - will probably be conducted in silence, and with only such gestures as - go by the name of “passes.” The chairman will state the question before - the house and the side, affirmative or negative, to be taken by the - honorable member entitled to the floor. That gentleman will rise, train - his compelling orbs upon the miscreants in opposition, execute a few - passes and exhaust his alloted time in looking at them. He will<span class="pagenum">77</span> then - yield to an honorable member of dissenting views. The preponderance in - magnetic power and hypnotic skill will be manifest in the voting.</p> - - <p>The advantages of the method are as plain as the nose on an elephant’s - face. The “arena” will no longer “ring” with anybody’s “rousing - speech,” to the irritating abridgment of the unalienable right to the - pursuit of sleep. Honorable members will lack provocation to hurl - allegations and cuspidors. Pitchforking statesmen and tosspot reformers - will be unable to play at pitch-and-toss with reputations not submitted - for the performance. In short, the congenial asperities of debate - will be so mitigated that the honorable member from Hades will retire - permanently from the hauls of legislation.</p> - - <h4>V</h4> - - <p>“Public opinion,” says Buckle, “being the voice of the average man, is - the voice of mediocrity.” Is it therefore so very wise and infallible - a guide as to be accepted without other credentials than its name and - fame? Ought we to follow its light and leading with no better assurance - of the character of its authority<span class="pagenum">78</span> than a count of noses of those - following it already, and with no inquiry as to whether it has not on - many former occasions led them and their several sets of predecessors - into bogs of error and over precipices to “eternal mock?” Surely “the - average man,” as every one knows him, is not very wise, not very - learned, not very good; how is it that his views of so intricate and - difficult matters as those on which public opinion makes pronouncement - through him are entitled to so great respect? It seems to me that the - average man is very much a fool, and something of a rogue as well. - He has only a smattering of education, knows virtually nothing of - political history, nor history of any kind, is incapable of logical, - that is to say clear, thinking, is subject to the suasion of base and - silly prejudices, and selfish beyond expression. That such a person’s - opinions should be so obviously better than my own that I should accept - them instead, and assist in enacting them into laws, appears to me most - improbable. I may “bow to the will of the people” as gracefully as a - defeated candidate, and for the same reason, namely, that I can not - help myself; but to admit that I was wrong in my belief and flatter - the power that subdues me—no,<span class="pagenum">79</span> that I will not do. If nobody would do - so the average man would not be so cock-sure of his infallibility, and - might sometimes consent to be counseled by his betters.</p> - - <p>In any matter of which the public has imperfect knowledge, public - opinion is as likely to be erroneous as is the opinion of an individual - equally uninformed. To hold otherwise is to hold that wisdom can be got - by combining many ignorances. A man who knows nothing of algebra can - not be assisted in the solution of an algebraic problem by calling in - a neighbor who knows no more than himself, and the solution approved - by the unanimous vote of a million such men would count for nothing - against that of a competent mathematician. To be entirely consistent, - gentlemen enamored of public opinion should insist that the text books - of our common schools should be the creation of a mass meeting, and all - disagreements arising in the course of the work settled by a majority - vote. That is how all difficulties incident to the popular translation - of the Hebrew Scriptures were composed. It should be admitted, however, - that most of those voting knew a little Hebrew, though not much. A - problem in mathematics is a very simple thing compared with many of - those<span class="pagenum">80</span> upon which the people are called to pronounce by resolution and - ballot—for example, a question of finance.</p> - - <p>“The voice of the people is the voice of God”—the saying is so - respectably old that it comes to us in the Latin. He is a strange, - an unearthly, politician who has not a score of times publicly and - solemnly signified his faith in it. But does anyone really believe - it? Let us see. In the period between 1859 and 1885, the national - Democratic party was defeated six times in succession. The voice of - the people pronounced it in error and unfit to govern. Yet after each - overthrow it came back into the field gravely reaffirming its faith in - the principles that God had condemned. Then God twice reversed Himself, - and the Republicans set about beating Him with as firm a confidence - of success (justified by the event) as they had known in the years of - their prosperity. Doubtless in every instance of a political party’s - defeat there are defections, but doubtless not all are due to the voice - that spoke out of the great white light that fell about Saul of Tarsus. - By the way, it is worth observing that that clever gentleman was - under no illusion regarding the origin of the voice that wrought his - celebrated “flop;” he<span class="pagenum">81</span> did not confound it with the <i>vox populi</i>. - The people of his time and place had no objection to the persecution - that he was conducting, and could persecute a trifle themselves on - occasion.</p> - - <p>Majorities rule, when they do rule, not because they ought, but because - they can. We vote in order to learn without fighting which party is - the stronger; it is less disagreeable to learn it that way than the - other way. Sometimes the party that is numerically the weaker is by - possession of the government actually the stronger, and could maintain - itself in power by an appeal to arms, but the habit of submitting when - outvoted is hard to break. Moreover, we all recognize in a subconscious - way, the reasonableness of the habit as a practical method of getting - on; and there is always the confident hope of success in the next - canvass. That one’s cause will succeed because it ought to succeed - is perhaps the most general and invincible folly affecting the human - judgment. Observation can not shake it, nor experience destroy. Though - you bray a partisan in the mortar of adversity till he numbers the - strokes of the pestle by the hairs of his head, yet will not this - foolish notion depart from him. He is always going to win<span class="pagenum">82</span> the next - time, however frequently and disastrously he has lost before. And - he can always give you the most cogent reasons for the faith that - is in him. His chief reliance is on the “fatal mistakes” made by - the other party since the last election. There never was a year in - which the party in power and the party out of power did not make bad - mistakes—mistakes which, unlike eggs and fish, seem always worst when - freshest. If idiotic errors of policy were always fatal, no party would - ever win an election and there would be a hope of better government - under the benign sway of the domestic cow.</p> - - <h4>VI</h4> - - <p>Each political party accuses the “opposing candidate” of refusing to - answer certain questions which somebody has chosen to ask him. I think - myself it is discreditable for a candidate to answer any questions at - all, to make speeches, declare his policy, or do anything whatever to - get himself elected. If a political party choose to nominate a man - so obscure that his character and his views on all public questions - are not known or inferable he ought to have the dignity to refuse to - expound them.<span class="pagenum">83</span> As to the strife for office being a pursuit worthy of - a noble ambition, I do not think so; nor shall I believe that many do - think so, until the term “office seeker” carries a less opprobrious - meaning and the dictum that “the office should seek the man, not the - man the office,” has a narrower currency among all manner of persons. - That by acts and words generally felt to be discreditable a man may - evoke great popular enthusiasm is not at all surprising. The late - Mr. Barnum was not the first nor the last to observe that the people - love to be humbugged. They love an impostor and a scamp, and the best - service that you can do for a candidate for high political preferment - is to prove him a little better than a thief, but not quite so good as - a thug.</p> - - <h4>VII</h4> - - <p>The view is often taken that a representative is the same thing - as a delegate; that he is to have, and can honestly entertain, no - opinion that is at variance with the whims and the caprices of - his constituents. This is the very <i>reductio ad absurdum</i> of - representative government. That it is the dominant theory of<span class="pagenum">84</span> the - future there can be little doubt, for it is of a piece with the - progress downward which is the invariable and unbroken tendency of - republican institutions. It fits in well with manhood suffrage, - rotation in office, unrestricted patronage, assessment of subordinates, - an elective judiciary, the initiative, the referendum, the recall, and - the rest of it. This theory of representative institutions is the last - and lowest stage in our pleasant performance of “shooting Niagara.” - When it shall have universal recognition and assent we shall have - been fairly engulfed in the whirlpool, and the buzzard of anarchy may - hopefully whet his beak for the national carcass.</p> - - <p>A man holding office from and for the people is in conscience and - honor bound to do what seems to his judgment best for the general - welfare, respectfully regardless of any and all other considerations. - This is especially true of legislators, to whom such specific - “instructions” as constituents sometimes send are an impertinence and - an insult. Pushed to its logical conclusion, the “delegate” policy - would remove all necessity of electing men of brains and judgment; - one man properly connected with his constituents by telegraph would - make as good a legislator<span class="pagenum">85</span> as another. Indeed, as a matter of economy, - one representative could act for many constituencies, receiving his - instructions how to vote from mass meetings in each. This, besides - being logical, would have the added advantage of widening and hardening - the power of the local “bosses,” who, by properly managing the show - of hands could have the same beneficent influence in national affairs - that they now enjoy in municipal. The plan would be a pretty good one - if there were not so many other ways for the nation to go to the devil - that it appears needless.</p> - - <h4>VIII</h4> - - <p>The purpose of the legislative custom of “eulogizing” dead members of - congress is not apparent unless it is to add a terror to death and make - honorable and self-respecting members rather bear the ills they have - than escape through the gates of death to others that they profess to - know a good deal about. If a member of that kind, who has had the bad - luck to “go before,” could be consulted he would indubitably say that - he is sorry to be dead; and that is not a natural frame of mind in one - who is exempt from the necessity<span class="pagenum">86</span> of himself “delivering a eulogy.”</p> - - <p>It may be urged that the congressional “eulogy” expresses in a general - way the eulogist’s notion of what he would like to have somebody say - of himself when he is by death elected to the Lower House. If so, then - Heaven help him to a better taste; but meanwhile it is a patriotic - duty to prevent him from indulging at the public expense the taste - that he has. There have been a few men in congress who could speak - of the character and services of a departed member with truth and - even eloquence. Of many others, the most charitable thing that one - can conscientiously say is that one would a little rather hear a - “eulogy” by them than of them. Considering that there are many kinds - of brains and only one kind of no brains, their diversity of gifts is - remarkable, but one characteristic they have in common: they are all - poets. Their efforts in the way of eulogium illustrate and illuminate - Pascal’s obscure saying that poetry is a particular sadness. If not sad - themselves, they are at least the cause of sadness in others, for no - sooner do they take to their legs to remind us that life is fleeting, - and to make us glad that it is, than they burst into bloom as poets - all! Some one has said that in<span class="pagenum">87</span> the contemplation of death there is - something that belittles. Perhaps that explains the transformation. - Anyhow the congressional eulogist takes to verse as naturally as a moth - to a candle, and with about the same result to his reputation for sense.</p> - - <p>The poetry is commonly not his own; when it violates every law of - sense, fitness, metre, rhyme and taste it is. But nine times in ten it - is some dog’s-eared, shop-worn quotation from one of the “standard” - bards, usually Shakspeare. There are familiar passages from that poet - which have been so often heard in “the halls of legislation” that they - have acquired an infamy which unfits them for publication in a decent - family newspaper; and Shakspeare himself, reposing in Elysium on his - bed of asphodel, omits them when reading his complete works to the - shades of Kit Marlowe and Ben Jonson, for their sins.</p> - - <p>This whole “business” ought to be “cut out.” It is not only a waste - of time and a trial to the patience of the country; it is immoral. It - is not true that a member of congress, who while living was a most - ordinary mortal, becomes by the accident of death a hero, a saint, - “an example to American youth.” Nobody believes these “eulogies,” - and nobody should<span class="pagenum">88</span> be permitted to utter them in the time and place - designated for another purpose. A “tribute” that is exacted by custom - and has not the fire and light of spontaneity is without sincerity - or sense. A simple resolution of regret and respect is all that the - occasion requires and would not inhibit any further utterance that - friends and admirers of the deceased might be moved to make elsewhere. - If any bereaved gentlemen, feeling his heart getting into his head, - wishes to tickle his ear with his tongue by way of standardizing his - emotion let him rent a hall and do so. But he should not be permitted - to make the capitol a Place of Wailing and the <i>Congressional - Record</i> a book of bathos.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">89</span> - <h3 id="A_POSSIBLE_BENEFACTOR">A POSSIBLE BENEFACTOR</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">FROM Paris comes the terrible news that M. Verneuil, a chemist, has - succeeded in making rubies at no considerable cost. This will doubtless - prove a sharp affliction to many persons addicted to display of rubies - on their surfaces, as well as to some who have them under lock and key - for sale to the others; for of course the value of the natural stones - must eventually fall to that of the artificial, if the two kinds are - identical in composition, hardness and color. Rubies will perhaps go - out of use altogether, for gems accessible to the poor are worthless to - the rich, and gems worthless to the rich are not wanted by the poor. - The beauty of the ruby will remain, but so will human nature.</p> - - <p>Having few rubies and, I trust, not much human nature, I am disposed - to regard M. Verneuil’s crime as a public benefaction. If he will - pursue his experimentation to its “logical conclusion,” giving us cheap - diamonds, pearls, emeralds, turquoises and the<span class="pagenum">90</span> rest, many of us will - rise up (from our seats away back) and call him blest.</p> - - <p>Victims of the habit of wearing pretty pebbles have always accounted - for their affliction by affirming the beauty of the pebbles. If that - is why they wear them they will continue to wear them when they are - common and cheap—when M. Verneuil and his anarchist co-workers in - the laboratory have put them “within the reach of all.” Does any one - believe that they will? Why do they not now wear (and confess it) the - paste jewels that are every bit as beautiful as the genuine? Why would - the “society woman” consider herself dishonored if caught red-handed in - a necklace of wax beads distinguishable from pearls by the microscope - only?</p> - - <p>The “preciousness” of these things is their cost. A woman “ablaze with - diamonds” is a woman silently shouting: “I am rich!” If her jewels did - not say this, and say it plainly, she would throw them into the nearest - gutter—nay, her contempt of them might receive such avowal as giving - them to the poor.</p> - - <p>Lo, the poor Indian whose untutored taste persuades him to personal - adornment with porcupine quills, eagle feathers, bear-claws<span class="pagenum">91</span> and the - tail of a wildcat! They are lovely—no doubt of that—but if porcupines, - eagles, bears and wildcats were abundant, accessible and amiable he - would make himself a thing of glory and consequence with something less - easily acquired. Please to consider the peculiar significance lurking - in the good old word “bravery” applied to the fine attire and ornaments - of the lowly. Does it not distinctly point to a primitive state when - personal adornment was the prize of courage in the chase? “Bravery” is - the finery of persons not far removed from a state of nature; our own - finery we do not call so, not even in poetry. A fairly good name for it - is “pursery.”</p> - - <p>In the progress of the race away from primitive conditions and barbaric - modes of thought and feeling, the female contingent does not walk at - the head of the procession. Women are more “conservative” than men: - they are last to renounce the habits and customs of the ancestral - savage. Witness their addiction to powder and paint. We have all - inherited the tendency to daub our faces, a once useful custom, for - by differing designs tribes and families were distinguished from one - another at a glance. Attentive to other<span class="pagenum">92</span> matters, mostly nonsense and - mischief, men have suffered the practice to fall into disuse, but - women—whom God bless!—continue it as when frighthood was in flower, - accounting for it by hardily affirming its service to the complexion. - Let it go at that; that is a better reason than can be urged for - defacing the female periphery with pebbles, candidly inutile and in - open apostasy to the gospel of Beauty Unadorned. Wherefore, that we may - have surcease of the pretty-pebble habit in the otherwise supportable - female of our species as she has been handed down to us from her noisy - sessions in primeval tree-tops, let us pray for success of M. Verneuil - and his accomplices in their hardy effort to discredit and vulgarize - the product of gem farm and pearl pool.</p> - - <p>1902.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">93</span> - <h3 id="WARLIKE_AMERICA">WARLIKE AMERICA</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">IN a speech at Huntsville, Alabama, President McKinley said:</p> - - <p>“We are not a military people. We are not dedicated to arms. We love - peace, and the United States never goes to war except for peace, and - only where it can have it in no other way. We have never gone to war - for conquest, for exploitation or for territory, but always for liberty - and humanity, and in our recent war with Spain the people of the whole - United States as one man marched with the flag for the honor of the - nation, to relieve the oppressed people in Cuba.”</p> - - <p>The American people are a singularly “cantankerous” people. True we are - not “military,” but that was not what the president meant to affirm; - he meant that we are not “warlike,” which is a very different thing. - The Germans are military, the North American Indians are warlike. To be - warlike is to be fond of war; to be military is to cultivate the arts - and sciences of war, to make the arts<span class="pagenum">94</span> of peace subservient to them, to - maintain a powerful standing army, with armaments of high efficiency. - A people may be both warlike and military, or it may be either and not - the other. The distinction was evidently not in the president’s mind, - for he said that we love peace, that we go to war only to assure it, - and so forth. What are the facts?</p> - - <p>There have been four generations of politically independent Americans. - Each of the four fought a war of magnitude, not counting the small - affairs and the “continuous performance” against the Indians. There - were the war of 1812 against Great Britain, the war against Mexico, the - war among ourselves, the war against Spain. We may say that all these - were fought to assure peace, and that is true—peace on our terms. No - war is undertaken for any other purpose. It was for that that Alexander - invaded Asia and Hannibal Italy. It was for that that the Turks laid - siege to Vienna. It was for that that Napoleon overran Europe.</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <p>It seems that “we have never gone to war for conquest, for - exploitation, nor for territory;”<span class="pagenum">95</span> we have the word of a president for - that. Observe, now, how Providence overrules the intentions of the - truly good for their advantage. We went to war with Mexico for peace, - humanity and honor, yet emerged from the contest with an extension - of territory beyond the dreams of political avarice. We went to war - with Spain for relief of an oppressed people, and at the close found - ourselves in possession of vast and rich insular dependencies and with - a pretty tight grasp upon the country for relief of whose oppressed - people we took up arms. We could hardly have profited more had - “territorial aggrandizement” been the spirit of our purpose and the - heart of our hope.</p> - - <p>The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics - are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations. They insist upon - having their own way, and in dealing with vanquished enemies are - without conscience. If it were not for the restraints that powerful - European sovereigns are able to put upon their subjects, Europe would - be a theater of continuous war. We lack that element of restraint. - Happily we lack, also, many of the hereditary animosities that inflame - the jealous peoples of the Old World; but when<span class="pagenum">96</span> the fire is kindled it - burns; there is nobody to quench it. We have always a hand upon the - sword, and if we do not more frequently strike, it is because, in the - first place, it is not much of a sword, and, in the second, the enemy - is commonly out of reach. In our navy we have now a sword that is a - trifle longer and stronger, but our army is still a dull and clumsy - weapon.</p> - - <p>In the future, as in the past, we shall have wars and enough of - them—wars of honor, wars of conquest, wars of hatred and revenge. War - has never found us ready. War has never found any modern nation ready, - excepting Prussia, and her only once. If we will learn nothing by - experience, let us try observation. Let us cease our hypocritical cant, - rise from our dreams of peace and of the love of it, confess ourselves - the warlike people that we are, and become the military people that we - are not.</p> - - <h4>III</h4> - - <p>The notion that a standing army of whatever strength could be a “menace - to American liberty” is one of the crudest and most discreditable - of errors. It is an outgrowth of<span class="pagenum">97</span> ignorance, and rooted in a false - analogy. It assumes that the “common people” of the Old World - monarchies are oppressed, discontented, ripe for revolt and republican - government; that they are held in subjection by the powerful armies - that serve their tyrants. Of course all this is mere moonshine, but if - true it would hold no such lesson for us as we think we read in it, - namely, that all armies are serviceable tools to tyrants and usurpers. - A European army, recruited by conscription and officered by noblemen - and the sons of relatives of noblemen, is an entirely different thing - from what we have, and very different indeed from what we may have if - we choose. The monarchical army sustains the monarchy, not because an - army is naturally and necessarily monarchist, but because monarchy is - the constitutional government; and armies, more generally than other - human organizations, are faithful to duty and obedient to law. For the - same reasons an American army will sustain the republic. Whenever a - monarchical army has <i>not</i> sustained the monarchy—has assisted to - overthrow it and set up a republic—then, indeed, have we been given a - reason to distrust “the military”—of a monarchy.</p> - - <p>An army of raw volunteers springing to the<span class="pagenum">98</span> colors to meet some - unforeseen emergency is an inspiring spectacle, but that kind of army - is good for nothing when pitted against trained and seasoned troops. - Every military man knows this, although there are no large recent - instances free from obscuring elements, like “the war of 1812.”</p> - - <p>In European countries that have universal conscription the years that - the young men pass in the army are the best spent years of their lives. - Those who enter the service as ignorant peasant lads, brutally stupid, - leave it well set up in body and mind—with better health, better morals - and better intelligence. The American peasant is of course perfect - in respect of all that, but perhaps his refining society would be of - advantage to his officers.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">99</span> - <h3 id="SOME_FEATURES_OF_THE_LAW">SOME FEATURES OF THE LAW</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">THERE is a difference between religion and the amazing circumstructure - which, under the name of theology, the priesthoods have builded round - about it, which for centuries they made the world believe was the true - temple, and which, after incalculable mischiefs wrought, immeasurable - blood spilled in its extension and consolidation, is only now beginning - to crumble at the touch of reason. There is the same difference between - the laws and the law,—the naked statutes (bad enough, God knows) and - the incomputable additions made to them by lawyers. This immense body - of superingenious writings it is that we all are responsible to in - person and property. In it is unquestionable authority for setting - aside any statute that any legislative body ever passed or can pass. In - it are dictates of recognized validity for turning topsy-turvy every - principle of justice and reversing every decree of reason. There is<span class="pagenum">100</span> - no fallacy so monstrous, no deduction so hideously unrelated to common - sense, as not to receive, somewhere in the myriad pages of this awful - compilation, a support that any judge in the land would be proud to - recognize with a decision if ably persuaded. I do not say that the - lawyers are altogether accountable for the existence of this mass of - disastrous rubbish, nor for its domination of the laws. They only - create and thrust it down our throats; we are guilty of contributory - negligence in not biting the spoon.</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <p>As long as there exists the right of appeal there is a chance of - acquittal. Otherwise the right of appeal would be a sham and an insult - more intolerable, even, than, to the man convicted of murder, the right - to say why he should not receive the sentence which nothing he may say - will avert. So long as acquittal may ensue guilt is not established. - Why, then, are men sentenced before they are proved guilty? Why are - they punished in the middle of proceedings against them? A lawyer can - reply to these questions in a thousand ingenious ways; but there is - no<span class="pagenum">101</span> answer. Let the “legal fraternity” reflect that a lawyer is one - whose profession it is to circumvent the law; that it is a part of his - business to mislead and befog the court of which he is an officer; that - it is considered right and reasonable for him to live by a division of - the spoils of crime and misdemeanor; that the utmost atonement he ever - makes for acquitting a man whom he knows to be guilty is to convict - a man whom he knows to be innocent. The methods of our courts, the - traditions of bench and bar, exist and are perpetuated, altered and - improved, for the purpose of enabling lawyers as a class to exact the - greatest amount of money from the rest of mankind. The laws are mostly - made by lawyers, and so made as to encourage and compel litigation. - By lawyers they are interpreted and by lawyers enforced for their own - profit and advantage. The over-intricate and interminable machinery - of precedent, overrulings, writs of error, motions for new trials, - appeals, reversals, affirmations and the rest of it, is mostly a - transparent and iniquitous system of exaction. What remedy would I - propose? None. There is none to propose. The lawyers have us and mean - to keep us.</p> - - <p>The villainy of making men suffer for<span class="pagenum">102</span> crimes of which they may - eventually be acquitted is consistent with our entire system of laws—a - system so complicated and contradictory that a judge simply does as he - pleases, subject only to the custom of giving for his action reasons - which at his option may or may not be derived from the statutes. He may - sternly affirm that he sits there to interpret the law as he finds it, - not to make it accord with his personal notions of right and justice. - Or he may declare that it could never have been the legislature’s - intention to do wrong, and so, shielded by the useful phrase <i>contra - bonos mores</i>, pronounce that illegal which he chooses to consider - inexpedient. Or he may be guided by either of any two inconsistent - precedents, as the better suits his purpose. Or he may throw aside both - statute and precedent, disregard good morals, and justify the judgment - that he wishes to deliver by what other lawyers have written in books, - and still others, without anybody’s authority, have chosen to accept - as a part of the law. I have in mind judges whom I have observed to - do all these things in a single term of court, and could mention one - who has done most of them in a single decision. The amazing feature - of the matter is that all these methods are lawful—made<span class="pagenum">103</span> so, not by - legislative enactment, but by the judges. Language can not be used with - sufficient lucidity and positiveness to bind them.</p> - - <h4>III</h4> - - <p>The legal purpose of a preliminary examination is not the discovery of - a criminal; it is the ascertaining of the probable guilt or innocence - of the person already charged. To permit that person’s counsel to - insult and madden the various assisting witnesses in the hope of making - them seem to incriminate themselves instead of him by statements that - may afterward be used to confuse a jury—that is perversion of law - to defeat justice. The character of the practice is seen to better - advantage contrasted with the tender consideration enjoyed by the - person actually accused and presumably guilty—the presumption of - his innocence being as futile a fiction as that a sheep’s tail is a - leg when called so. Actually, the prisoner in a criminal trial is - the only person supposed to have full knowledge of the facts who is - not compelled to testify. And this exemption is given him by way of - immunity from the snares and pitfalls with which the paths of all - witnesses are wantonly beset. To<span class="pagenum">104</span> a visiting Lunarian it would seem - strange indeed that in a Terrestrial court of justice it is not deemed - desirable for an accused person to incriminate himself, and that it is - deemed desirable for a subpœna to be more dreaded than a warrant.</p> - - <p>When a child, a wife, a servant, a student—any one under personal - authority—is accused or suspected an explanation is demanded, and - refusal to testify is held, and rightly held, a confession of guilt. - To question the accused—rigorously and sharply to examine him on all - matters relating to the offense, and even trap him if he seem to be - lying—that is Nature’s method of criminal procedure; why in our public - trials do we forego its advantages? It may annoy; a person arrested for - crime must expect annoyance. It can not make an innocent man, even a - mere witness, incriminate himself, but it can make a rogue do so, and - therein lies its value.</p> - - <p>This ancient and efficient safeguard to rascality, the right of a - witness to refuse to testify when his testimony would tend to convict - him of crime, has been strengthened by a recent decision of the United - States Supreme Court. That will probably add another century or two to - its mischievous existence, and<span class="pagenum">105</span> possibly prove the first act in such - an extension of it that eventually a witness can not be compelled to - testify at all. In fact it is difficult to see how he can be compelled - to now if he has the hardihood to exercise his constitutional right - without shame and with an intelligent consciousness of its limitless - application.</p> - - <p>The case in which the Supreme Court made the decision was one in which - a witness refused to say whether he had received from a defendant - railway company a rate on grain shipments lower than the rate open to - all shippers. The trial was in the United States District Court for the - Northern District of Illinois, and Judge Gresham chucked the scoundrel - into jail. He naturally applied to the Supreme Court for relief, and - that high tribunal gave joy to every known or secret malefactor in - the country by deciding—according to law, no doubt—that witnesses - in a criminal case can not be compelled to testify to anything that - “<i>might tend</i> to criminate them <i>in any way</i>, or subject them - to <i>possible</i> prosecution.” The italics are my own and indicate - about as clearly as extended comment could the boundless immunity - that the decision confirms or confers. It is to be<span class="pagenum">106</span> hoped that some - public-spirited gentleman called to the stand in some celebrated - case may point the country’s attention to the state of the law by - refusing to tell his name, age or occupation, or answer any question - whatever. And it would be a fitting <i>finale</i> to the farce if he - would threaten the too curious attorney with an action for damages for - compelling a disclosure of character.</p> - - <h4>IV</h4> - - <p>Most lawyers have made so profound a study of human nature as to - think that if they have shown a man to be of loose life with regard - to women they have shown him to be one that would tell needless lies - to a jury—a conviction unsupported by the familiar facts of life and - character. Different men have different vices, and addiction to one - kind of “upsetting sin” does not imply addiction to an unrelated kind. - Doubtless a rake is a liar in so far as is needful to concealment, but - it does not follow that he will commit perjury to save a horsethief - from the penitentiary or send a good man to the gallows. As to lying, - generally, he is not conspicuously worse than the mere lover, male - or female; for lovers<span class="pagenum">107</span> have been liars from the beginning of time. - They deceive when it is necessary and when it is not. Schopenhauer - would say that it is because of a sense of guilt—they contemplate the - commission of a crime and, like other criminals, cover their tracks. - I am not prepared to say if that is the true explanation, but to the - fact to be explained I am ready to testify with lifted arms. Yet no - cross-examining attorney tries to break the credibility of a witness by - showing that he is in love.</p> - - <p>An habitual liar, if disinterested, makes about as good a witness - as anybody. There is really no such thing as “the lust of lying:” - falsehoods are told for advantage—commonly a shadowy and illusory - advantage, but one distinctly enough had in mind. Discerning no - opportunity to promote his interest, tickle his vanity or feed a - grudge, the habitual liar will tell the truth. If lawyers would study - human nature with half the assiduity that they give to resolution of - hairs into their longitudinal elements they would be better fitted for - service of the devil than they have now the usefulness to be.</p> - - <h4>V</h4> - - <p>I affirm the right and expediency of cross-examining<span class="pagenum">108</span> attorneys in - court, with a view to testing their credibility. An attorney’s relation - to the trial is closer and more important than that of a witness. He - has more to say and more opportunities to deceive the jury, not only - by naked lying, but by both <i>suppressio veri</i> and <i>suggestio - falsi</i>. Why is it not important to ascertain his credibility; and if - an inquiry into his private life and public reputation will assist, as - himself avers, why should he not be put upon the grill and compelled to - sweat out the desired incrimination? I should think it might give good - results, for example, to compel him to answer a few questions touching - his professional career. Somewhat like this:</p> - - <p>“Did you ever defend a client, knowing him to be guilty?”</p> - - <p>“What, precisely, was your motive in doing so?”</p> - - <p>“But in addition to your love of fair play had you not also the hope - and assurance of a fee?”</p> - - <p>“In defending a client known to you to be guilty did you declare your - belief in his innocence?”</p> - - <p>“Yes, I understand, but necessary as it may have been (in that it - helped to defeat justice<span class="pagenum">109</span> and earn your fee) was not your declaration a - lie?”</p> - - <p>“Do you believe it right to lie for the purpose of circumventing - justice?—yes or no?”</p> - - <p>“Do you believe it right to lie for personal gain—yes or no?”</p> - - <p>“Then why did you do both?”</p> - - <p>“A man who lies to beat the laws and fill his purse is—what?”</p> - - <p>“In defending a murderer did you ever misrepresent the character, acts, - motives and intentions of the man that he murdered—never mind the - purpose and effect of such misrepresentation—yes or no?”</p> - - <p>“That is what we call slander of the dead, is it not?”</p> - - <p>“What is the most accurate name you can think of for one who slanders - the dead to defeat justice and promote his own fortune?”</p> - - <p>“Yes, I know—such practices are allowed by the ‘ethics’ of your - profession, but can you point to any evidence that they are allowed by - Jesus Christ?”</p> - - <p>“If in former trials you have obstructed justice by slander of the - dead, by falsely affirming the innocence of the guilty, by cheating - in argument, by deceiving the court whom you are sworn to serve and - assist, and<span class="pagenum">110</span> have done all this for personal gain, do you expect, and - is it reasonable for you to expect, the jury in this case to believe - you?”</p> - - <p>“One moment more, please. Did you ever accept an annual or other - fee conditioned on your not taking any action against a certain - corporation?”</p> - - <p>“While in receipt of such refrainer—I beg your pardon, retainer—did you - ever prosecute a blackmailer?”</p> - - <p>It will be seen that in testing the credibility of a lawyer it is - needless to go into his private life and his character as a man and - a citizen: his professional practices are an ample field in which to - search for offenses against man and God.</p> - - <p>The moral sense of the laymen is dimly conscious of something wrong in - the ethics of the “noble profession;” the lawyers affirming, rightly - enough, a public necessity for them and their mercenary services, - permit their thrift to construe it vaguely as personal justification. - But nobody has blown away from the matter its brumous encompassment and - let in the light upon it. It is very simple.</p> - - <p>Is it honorable for a lawyer to try to clear a man that he knows - deserves conviction? That is not the entire question by much. Is - it<span class="pagenum">111</span> honorable to pretend to believe what you do not believe? Is it - honorable to lie? I submit that these questions are not answered - affirmatively by showing the disadvantage to the public and to - civilization of a lawyer refusing to serve a known offender. The - popular interest, like any other good cause, can be and commonly is, - served by foul means when served at all. Justice itself may be promoted - by acts essentially unjust. In serving a sordid ambition a powerful - scoundrel may by acts in themselves wicked augment the prosperity of - a whole nation. I have not the right to deceive and lie in order to - advantage my fellow men, any more than I have the right to steal or - murder to advantage them; nor have my fellow men the power to grant me - that indulgence.</p> - - <p>The question of a lawyer’s right to clear a known criminal (with the - several questions involved) is not answered affirmatively by showing - that the law forbids him to decline a case for reasons personal - to himself—not even if we admit the statute’s moral authority. - Preservation of conscience and character is a civic duty, as well as - a personal; one’s fellowmen have a distinct interest in it. That, I - admit, is an argument rather in the manner of<span class="pagenum">112</span> an attorney; clearly - enough the effect of this statute is to compel an attorney to cheat - and lie for any rascal that wants him to. In that sense it may be - regarded as a law softening the rigor of all laws; it does not mitigate - punishments, but mitigates the chance of incurring them. The infamy - of it lies in forbidding an attorney to be a gentleman. Like all laws - it falls something short of its intent: many attorneys, even some who - defend the law, are as honorable as is consistent with the practice of - deceit to serve crime.</p> - - <p>It will not do to say that an attorney in defending a client is not - compelled to cheat and lie. What kind of defense could be made by any - one who did not profess belief in the innocence of his client?—did - not affirm it in the most serious and impressive way?—did not lie? - How would it profit the defense to be conducted by one who would not - meet the prosecution’s grave asseverations of belief in the prisoner’s - guilt by equally grave assurances of faith in his innocence? And in - point of fact, when was counsel for the defense ever known to forego - the advantage of that solemn falsehood? If I am asked what would - become of accused persons if they had to prove their innocence to the - lawyers before making<span class="pagenum">113</span> a defense in court, I reply that it is not for - the public interest that a rogue have the same freedom of defense as - an honest man; it should be a good deal harder for him. His troubles - should begin, not when he seeks acquittal, but when he seeks counsel. - It would be better for the community if he could not obtain the - services of a reputable attorney, or any attorney at all. A defense - that can not be made without his attorney’s knowledge of his guilt - should be impossible to him.</p> - - <h4>VI</h4> - - <p>As to the general question of a judge’s right to inflict arbitrary - punishment for words that he may be pleased to hold disrespectful to - himself or another judge, I do not myself believe that any such right - exists; the practice seems to be merely a survival—a heritage from the - dark days of irresponsible power, when the scope of judicial authority - had no other bounds than fear of the king’s gout or indigestion. If in - these modern days the same right is to exist it may be necessary to - revive the old checks upon it by restoring the throne. In freeing us - from the monarchical chain, the coalition of European Powers commonly<span class="pagenum">114</span> - known in American history as the valor of our forefathers stripped us - starker than they knew.</p> - - <p>Suppose an attorney should find his client’s interests imperiled by a - prejudiced or corrupt judge—what is he to do? Denied the right to make - representations to that effect, supporting them with evidence where - evidence is possible and by inference where it is not, what means of - protection shall he venture to adopt? If it be urged in objection that - judges are never prejudiced nor corrupt I confess that I shall have no - answer: the proposition will deprive me of breath.</p> - - <p>If contempt is not a crime it should not be punished; if a crime - it should be punished as other crimes are punished—by indictment - or information, trial by jury if a jury is demanded, with all the - safeguards that secure an accused person against judicial blunders - and judicial bias. The necessity for these safeguards is even greater - in cases of contempt than in others—particularly if the prosecuting - witness is to sit in judgment on his own grievance. That should, of - course, not be permitted: the trial should take place before another - judge.</p> - - <p>The public ear is served with rather more<span class="pagenum">115</span> than just enough of nonsense - about “attacks upon the dignity of the Bench,” “bringing the judiciary - into disrepute” and the rueful rest of it. I crave leave to remind the - solicitudinarians sounding these loud alarums on their several larynges - that by persons of understanding a man is respected, not for the office - that he holds, but for what he is, and that one public functionary - will stand as high in their esteem as another if as high in character. - The dignity of a wise and righteous judge needs not the artificial - safeguarding which is a heritage of the old days when if dissent - found a tongue the public executioner cut it out. The Bench will be - sufficiently respected when it is no longer a place where dullards - dream and rogues rob—when its <i>personnel</i> is no longer chosen in - the back-rooms of tipple-shops, forced upon yawning conventions and - confirmed by the votes of men who know neither what the candidates - are nor what they should be. With the gang that we have, and under - our system must continue to have, respect is out of the question. The - judges are entitled to just as much of its forms and observances as is - needful to maintenance of order in their courts and fortification of - their lawful power—no more. As to their<span class="pagenum">116</span> silence under criticism, that - is as they please. Nobody but themselves is holding their tongues.</p> - - <h4>VII</h4> - - <p>A law under which the unsuccessful respondent in a divorce proceeding - may be forbidden to marry again during the life of the successful - complainant, the latter being subject to no such disability, is - unrighteous. If the disability is intended as a punishment it is - exceptional among legal punishments in that it is inflicted without - conviction, trial or arraignment, the divorce proceedings being quite - another and different matter. It is exceptional in that the period - of its continuance, and therefore the degree of its severity, are - indeterminate; they are dependent on no limiting statute, and on - neither the will of the power inflicting nor the conduct of the person - suffering. To sentence a person to a punishment that is to be mild - or severe according to chance or—which is even worse—circumstances - which but one person, and that person not officially connected with - administration of justice, can partly control, is a perversion of the - main principles that are supposed to underlie the laws.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">117</span></p> - - <p>It can be nothing to the woman—possibly herself remarried—whether the - man remarries or not; that is, can affect only her feelings, and only - such of them as are least creditable to her. Yet her self-interest is - enlisted against him to do him incessant disservice. By merely caring - for her health she increases the sharpness of his punishment—for - punishment it is if he feels it such; every hour that she wrests from - death is added to his “term.” The expediency of preventing a man from - marrying, without having the power to prevent him from making his - marriage desirable in the interest of the public and vital to that of - some woman, is not discussable here. If a man is ever justified in - poisoning a woman who was once his wife it is when, by way of making - him miserable, the state has given him a direct and distinct interest - in her death.</p> - - <h4>VIII</h4> - - <p>With a view, possibly, to promoting respect for law by making the - statutes so to conform to public sentiment that none will fall into - dis-esteem and disuse, it has been proposed that there be recognition - of sex in the penal code, by making a difference in the punishment of<span class="pagenum">118</span> - men and of women for the same crimes and misdemeanors. The argument - is that if women were “provided” with milder punishment juries would - sometimes convict them, whereas they now commonly get off altogether.</p> - - <p>The plan is not so new as might be thought. Many of the nations of - antiquity of whose laws we have knowledge, and nearly all the European - nations until within a comparatively recent time, punished women - differently from men for the same offenses. As recently as the period - of the Early Puritan in New England women were punished for some - offenses which men might commit without fear if not without reproach. - The ducking-stool, for example, was an appliance for softening the - female temper only. In England women used to be burned at the stake for - crimes for which men were hanged, roasting being popularly regarded - as the milder punishment. In point of fact, it was not punishment at - all, the victim being carefully strangled before the fire touched her. - Burning was simply a method of disposing of the body so expeditiously - as to give no occasion and opportunity for the unseemly social rites - commonly performed about the scaffold of<span class="pagenum">119</span> the erring male by a jocular - populace. As lately as 1763 a woman named Margaret Biddingfield was - burned in Suffolk, England, as an accomplice in the crime of “petty - treason.” She had assisted in the murder of one of the king’s subjects - (her husband), the actual killing being done by a man; and he was - hanged, as no doubt he deserved to be. For “coining,” too (which, also, - was “treason”) men were hanged and women burned. This distinction - between the sexes was maintained until the year of grace 1790, after - which female offenders ceased to have “a stake in the country,” and - like Hood’s martial hero, “enlisted in the line.”</p> - - <p>In still earlier days, before the advantages of fire were understood, - our good grandmothers who sinned were admonished by water—they were - drowned; but in the reign of Henry III a woman was hanged—without - strangulation, apparently, for after a whole day of it she was cut - down and pardoned. Sorceresses and unfaithful wives were smothered in - mud, as also were unfaithful wives among the ancient Burgundians. The - punishment of unfaithful husbands is not of record; we only know that - there were no austerely virtuous editors to direct the finger of<span class="pagenum">120</span> scorn - to their dark misdeeds and personal unworth.</p> - - <p>Among the Anglo-Saxons, women who had the bad luck to be detected in - theft were drowned, while men meeting with the same mischance died a - dry death by hanging. By the early Danish laws female thieves were - buried alive, whether or not from motives of humanity is not now known. - This seems to have been the fashion in France also, for in 1331 a woman - named Duplas was scourged and buried alive at Abbeville, and in 1460 - Perotte Mauger, a receiver of stolen goods, was inhumed by order of the - Provost of Paris in front of the public gibbet. In Germany in the good - old days certain kinds of female criminals were “impaled,” a punishment - too grotesquely horrible for description, but likely enough considered - by the simple German of the period conspicuously merciful.</p> - - <p>It is, in short, only recently that the civilized nations have placed - the sexes on an equality in the matter of the death penalty for - crime, and the new system is not yet by any means universal. That - it is a better system than the old, or would be if enforced, is a - natural presumption from human progress, out of which it is evolved. - But coincidently<span class="pagenum">121</span> with its evolution has developed also a sentiment - adverse to punishment of women at all. This sentiment appears to be - of independent growth; in no way a reaction against that which caused - the change. To mitigate the severity of the death penalty for women to - some pleasant form of euthanasia, such as drowning in rose-water, or - in their case to abolish the death penalty altogether and make their - capital punishment consist in a brief internment in a jail with a - softened name, would probably do no good, for whatever form it might - take, it would be, so far as woman is concerned, the “extreme penalty” - and crowning disgrace, and jurors would be as reluctant to inflict it - as they now are to inflict death.</p> - - <h4>IX</h4> - - <p>Testators should not, from the snug security of the grave, be - permitted to utter a perpetual threat of disinheritance, or any other - uncomfortable fate, to deter a living citizen, even one of their own - legatees, from applying to the courts of his country for redress of - any wrong from which he may consider himself as suffering. The courts - of law ought to be open to any one conceiving<span class="pagenum">122</span> himself a victim of - injustice, and it should be unlawful to abridge the right of complaint - by making its exercise more hazardous than it naturally is. Doubtless - the contesting of wills is a nuisance, generally speaking, the - contestant devoid of moral worth and the verdict unrighteous; but as - long as some testators really <i>are</i> daft, or subject to interested - suasion, or wantonly sinful, all should be denied the power to stifle - dissent by fining the luckless dissenter. The dead have too much to say - in this world, at the best, and it is tyranny for them to stand at the - door of the temple of justice to drive away the suitors that themselves - have made.</p> - - <p>Obedience to the commands of the dead should be conditional upon their - good behavior, and it is not good behavior to set up a censure of - action at law among the living. If our courts are not competent to - say what actions are proper to be brought and what are unfit to be - entertained let us improve them until they are competent, or abolish - them altogether and resort to the mild and humane arbitrament of the - dice; but while courts have the civility to exist they should refuse - to surrender any part of their duties and responsibilities to such - exceedingly private persons<span class="pagenum">123</span> as those under six feet of earth, or - sealed up in habitations of hewn stone. Persons no longer affectable - by human events should be denied a voice in determining the character - and trend of them. Respect for the wishes of the dead is a tender - and beautiful sentiment, certainly. Unfortunately, it can not be - ascertained that they have any wishes. What commonly go by that name - are wishes once entertained by living persons who are now dead, and - who in dying renounced them, along with everything else. Like those - who entertained them, the wishes are no longer in existence. “The - wishes of the dead” are not wishes, and are not of the dead. Why they - should have anything more than a sentimental influence upon those still - in the flesh, and be a factor to be reckoned with in the practical - affairs of the supergraminous world, is a question to which the merely - human understanding can find no answer, and it must be referred to the - lawyers. When “from the tombs a doleful sound” is vented, and “thine - ear” is invited to “attend the cry,” an intelligent forethought will - suggest that you inquire if it is anything about property. If so pass - on—that is no sacred spot.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">124</span></p> - - <h4>X</h4> - - <p>Much of the testimony in French courts, civil and martial, appears to - consist of personal impressions and opinions of the witnesses. All - very improper and mischievous, no doubt, if—if what? Why, obviously, - if the judges and jurors are unfit to sit in judgment. By designating - them to sit, the designating power assumes their fitness—assumes that - they know enough to take such things for what they are worth, to make - the necessary allowances; if needful, to disregard a witness’s opinion - altogether. I do not know that they are fit. I do not know that they - do make the needful allowances. It is by no means clear to me that - any judge or juror, French, American or Patagonian, is competent to - ascertain the truth when lying witnesses are trying to conceal it under - the direction of skilled and conscienceless attorneys licensed to - deceive. But his competence is a basic assumption of the law vesting - him with the duty of deciding. Having chosen him for that duty, the - French law very logically lets him alone to decide for himself what - is evidence and what is not. It does not trust him a little, but - altogether. It puts him under conditions familiar to him—makes<span class="pagenum">125</span> him - accessible to just such influences as he is accustomed to when making - conscious and unconscious decisions in his personal affairs.</p> - - <p>There may be a distinct gain to justice in permitting a witness to - say whatever he wants to say. If he is telling the truth he will not - contradict himself; if he is lying, the more rope he is given the more - surely he will entangle himself.</p> - - <p>In giving hearsay evidence, for example, he may suggest a new and - important witness of whom the counsel for the other side would not - otherwise have heard, and who can then be brought into court. By some - unguarded and apparently irrelevant statement he may open an entirely - new line of inquiry, or throw upon the case a flood of light. Everyone - knows what revelations are sometimes evoked by apparently the most - insignificant remarks. Why should justice be denied a chance to profit - that way?</p> - - <p>There is a still greater advantage in “the French method.” By giving a - witness free rein in expression of his personal opinions and feelings - we should be able to calculate his frame of mind, his good or ill will - to the prosecution or defense and, therefore, to a certain<span class="pagenum">126</span> extent his - credibility. In our courts he is able by a little solemn perjury to - conceal all this, even from himself, and pose as an impartial witness, - when in truth, with regard to the accused he is full of rancor or - reeking with compassion.</p> - - <p>In theory our system is perfect. The accused is prosecuted by a public - officer, who having no interest in his conviction, will serve the - state without mischievous zeal and perform his disagreeable task with - fairness and consideration. He is permitted to entrust his defense - to another officer, whose duty it is to make a rigidly truthful and - candid presentment of his case in order to assist the court to a just - decision. The jurors, if there are jurors, are neither friendly nor - hostile, are open-minded, intelligent and conscientious. As to the - witnesses, are they not sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth (in - so far as they are permitted) and nothing but the truth? What could - be finer and better than all this?—what could more certainly assure - justice?</p> - - <p>How close the resemblance is between this ideal picture and what - actually occurs all know, or should know. The judge is frequently - an ignoramus incapable of logical thought and with little sense of - the dread<span class="pagenum">127</span> and awful nature of his responsibility. The prosecuting - attorney thinks it due to his reputation to “make a record” and tries - to convict by hook or crook, even when he is himself persuaded of the - defendant’s innocence. Counsel for the defense is equally unscrupulous - for acquittal, and, both having industriously coached their witnesses, - they contend against each other in deceiving the court by every art - of which they are masters. Witnesses on both sides perjure themselves - freely and with almost perfect impunity if detected. At the close - of it all the poor weary jurors, hopelessly bewildered and dumbly - resentful of their duping, render a random or compromise verdict, or - one which best expresses their secret animosity to the lawyer they like - least, or their faith in the newspapers which they have diligently and - disobediently read every night. Commenting upon Rabelais’ old judge - who, when impeached for an outrageous decision, pleaded his defective - eyesight which made him miscount the spots on the dice, the most - distinguished lawyer of my acquaintance seriously assured me that if - all the cases with which he had been connected had been decided with - the dice substantial justice would have been done more frequently<span class="pagenum">128</span> than - it was done. If that is true, or nearly true, and I believe it, the - American’s right to sneer at the Frenchman’s “judicial methods” is an - open question.</p> - - <h4>XI</h4> - - <p>It is urged that the corrupt practices in our courts of law be - uncovered to public view, whenever that is possible, by that impeccable - censor, the press. Exposure of rascality is good—better, apparently - for rascals than for anybody else, for it usually suggests something - rascally which they had overlooked, and so familiarizes the public - with crime that crime no longer begets loathing. If the newspapers of - the country are really concerned about corrupter practices than their - own and willing to bring our courts up to the English standard there - is something better than exposure—which fatigues. Let the newspapers - set about creating a public opinion favorable to non-elective judges, - well paid, powerful to command respect and holding office for life or - good behavior. That is the only way to get good men and great lawyers - on the Bench. As matters are, we stand and cry for what the English - have, and rail at the way they get it.<span class="pagenum">129</span> Our boss-made, press-ridden and - mob-fearing judges give us as good a quality of justice as we merit. A - better quality awaits us whenever the will to have is attended by the - sense to take.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">130</span> - <h3 id="ARBITRATION">ARBITRATION</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">THE universal cry for industrial arbitration is either dishonest or - unwise. For every evil there are quack remedies galore—especially - for every evil that is irremediable. Of this order of remedies is - arbitration, for of this order of evils is the inadequate wage of - manual labor. Since the beginning of authentic history everything has - been tried in the hope of divorcing poverty and labor, but nothing has - parted them. It is not conceivable that anything ever will; success - of arbitration, antecedently improbable, is demonstrably impossible. - Most of the work of the world is hard, disagreeable, requiring little - intelligence. Most of the people of the world are unfit to do any - other work. If it were not done by them it would not be done, and it - is the basic work. Withdraw them from it and the whole superstructure - would topple and fall. Yet there is so little of the work, and so - many incapable of doing anything else, that adequate return is out of - the<span class="pagenum">131</span> question. For the laboring <i>class</i> there is no hope of an - existence that is comfortable in comparison with that of the other - class; the hope of an individual laborer lies in the possibility - of fitting himself for higher employment—employment of the head; - not manual but cerebral labor. While selfishness remains the main - ingredient of human nature (and a survey of the centuries accessible to - examination shows but a slow and intermittent decrease) the cerebral - workers, being the wiser and not much better, will manage to take the - greater profit. In justice it must be said of them that they extend a - warm and sincere invitation to their ranks, and take “apprentices;” - every opportunity for education that the other class enjoys is proof of - that.</p> - - <p>Let us, then, look at arbitration more nearly; in our time it is, in - form at least, something new. It began as “international arbitration,” - which already, in settling a few disputes of no great importance, - has shown itself a dangerous remedy. In the necessary negotiation to - determine exactly what points to submit, to whom, and how, and where, - and when to submit them, scores of questions are raised, upon each of - which it is as easy to disagree and<span class="pagenum">132</span> fight as upon the original issue. - International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many - burning questions for a smouldering one; for disputes that have reached - a really acute stage are not submitted. Nor, despite all “treaties,” - will a powerful nation arbitrate anything that it considers vital to - its honor or welfare.</p> - - <p>Industrial arbitration is no better; it is manifestly worse, and any - law enforcing it, and enforcing compliance with its decisions, is - absurd and mischievous. “Compulsory arbitration” is not arbitration; - the essence of which is voluntary submission of differences and - voluntary submission to judgment. If reference or obedience is enforced - the arbitrators are simply a court with no powers to do anything but - apply the law. Proponents of the fad would do well to consider this: - If a party to a labor dispute is <i>compelled</i> to invoke and obey a - decision of arbitrators, that decision must follow strictly the line - of law; the smallest invasion of any constitutional, statutory or - common-law right will enable him to upset the judgment. No legislative - body can establish a tribunal empowered to make and enforce illegal - or extra-legal decisions; for making and enforcing legal<span class="pagenum">133</span> ones the - tribunals that we already have are sufficient. This talk of “compulsory - arbitration” is the maddest nonsense that the industrial situation has - yet evolved. Doubtless it is sent upon us for our sins; but had we not - already a plague of strikes?</p> - - <p>Arbitration of labor disputes means compromise with the unions. It - can, in this country, mean nothing else, for the law would not survive - a half-dozen failures to concede some part of the workmen’s demands, - however reasonless. By repeated strikes they would eventually get all - their original demand and as much more as on second thought they might - choose to ask for. Each concession would be, as it is now, followed by - a new importunity and the first arbitrators might as well allow them - all that they demand and all that they mean to demand hereafter.</p> - - <p>Would not employers be equally unscrupulous? They would not. They - could not afford the disturbance, the stoppage of the business, the - risk of unfair decisions in a country where it is “popular” to favor - and encourage, not the just, but the poor. The labor leaders have - nothing to lose, not even their employment, for their work is labor - leading. Their dupes, by the way, would not be<span class="pagenum">134</span> dupes forever, for with - enforced arbitration the game of “follow my leader” would pay only - until there should be nothing to follow him to but empty treasuries of - dead industries in an extinct civilization. If there must be compulsory - arbitration it should at least not apply to that sum of all impudent - rascalities, the “sympathy strike.”</p> - - <p>As to the men who have set up the claim asserted by the “sympathy - strike,” I shall refer to the affair of 1904. If it was creditable in - them to feel so much concern about a few hundred aliens in Illinois, - how about the grievances of the whole body of their countrymen in - California? When their employers, who they confessed were good to them, - were plundering the public, they did not strike, sympathetically nor - otherwise. Year after year the railway monopoly picked the pockets - of the Californians; corrupted their courts and legislatures; laid - its Briarean hands in exaction upon every industry and interest; - filled the land with lies and false reasoning; threw honest men into - prisons and locked the gates of them against thieves and assassins; - by open defiance of the tax collector denied to children of the poor - the advantages of education—did all this and more;<span class="pagenum">135</span> and these honest - working men stood loyally by it, sharing in wages its dishonest gains, - receivers, in one sense, of stolen goods. The groans of their neighbors - were nothing to them; even the wrongs of themselves, their wives and - their children did not stir them to revolt. On every breeze that blew, - a great chorus of cries and curses was borne past their ears unheeded. - Why did they not strike then? Where then were the fiery altruists and - storm-petrels of industrial disorder? The ingenious gods who have - invented the Debses and Gomperses, and humorously branded them with - names that would make a cat laugh, have never put it into their cold - selfish hearts to order out their followers to redress a public wrong, - but only to inflict one—to avenge a personal humiliation, gratify an - appetite for notoriety, slake a thirst for the intoxicating cup of - power, or punish the crime of prosperity.</p> - - <p>It is a practical, an illogical, a turbulent time, yes; it always is. - The age of Jesus Christ was a practical age, yet Jesus Christ was - sweetly impractical. In an illogical period Socrates reasoned clearly, - and logically died for it. Nero’s time was a time of turbulence, yet - Seneca’s mind was not disturbed,<span class="pagenum">136</span> nor his conscience perverted. Compare - their fame with the everlasting infamy that time has fixed upon the - names of the Jack Cades, the Robespierres, the Tomaso Nielos—guides - and gods of the “fierce democracies” which rise with a sickening - periodicity to defile the page of history with a quickly fading mark of - blood and fire, their own awful example their sole contribution to the - good of mankind. To be a child of your time, imbued with its spirit and - endowed with its aims—that is to petition Posterity for a niche in the - Temple of Shame.</p> - - <p>No strike of any prominence ever takes place in this country without - the concomitants of violence and destruction of property, and - usually murder. These cheerful incidents one who does not personally - suffer them can endure with considerable fortitude, but hypocritical - condemnation of them by the press that has instigated them and the - strikers who have planned and executed them, and who invariably ascribe - them to those whom they most injure; the solemn offers of the leaders - to assist in protecting the imperiled property and avenging the dead, - while openly employing counsel for every incendiary and assassin - arrested in spite of them—these are<span class="pagenum">137</span> pretty hard to bear. A strike - means (for it includes as its main method) violence, lawlessness, - destruction of the property of others than the strikers, riot and, if - necessary, bloodshed. Even when the strikers themselves have no hand - in these crimes they are morally liable for the foreknown consequences - of their act. Nay, they are morally liable for <i>all</i> the - consequences—all the inconveniences and losses to the community, all - the sufferings of the poor entailed by interruptions of trade, all the - privations of other workingmen whom a selfish attention to their own - supposed advantage throws out of the closed industries. They are liable - in morals and should be made so in law—only that strikes are needless. - It is not worth while to create a multitude of complex criminal - responsibilities for acts which can, possibly, be prevented by a single - and simple one. How?</p> - - <p>First, I should like to point out that we are hearing a deal too much - about a man’s inalienable right to work or play, at his own sovereign - will. In so far as that means—and it is always used to mean—his - right to quit any kind of work at any moment, without notice and - regardless of consequences to others, it is false; there is no such - moral right, and<span class="pagenum">138</span> the law should have at least a speaking acquaintance - with morality. What is mischievous should be illegal. The various - interests of civilization are so complex, delicate, intertangled and - interdependent that no man, and no set of men, should have power to - throw the entire scheme into confusion and disorder for promotion of a - trumpery principle or a class advantage. In dealing with corporations - we recognize that. If for any selfish purpose a trade union of railway - managers had done what their sacred brakemen and divine firemen did—had - decreed that “no wheel should turn” until Mr. Pullman’s men should - return to work—they would have found themselves all in jail the second - day. <i>Their</i> right to quit work was not conceded: they lacked - that authenticating credential of moral and legal irresponsibility, an - indurated palm. In a small lockout affecting a mill or two the offender - finds a half-hearted support in the law if he is willing to pay enough - deputy sheriffs; but even then he is mounted by the hobnailed populace, - at its back the daily newspapers, clamoring and spitting like cats. - But let the manager of a great railway discharge all its men without - warning and “kill” its own engines! Then see what you will see.<span class="pagenum">139</span> To - commit a wrong so gigantic with impunity a man must wear overalls.</p> - - <p>How prevent anybody from committing it? How break up this <i>régime</i> - of strikes and boycotts and lockouts, more disastrous to others than - to those at whom the blows are aimed—than to those, even, who deliver - them? How make all those concerned in the management and operation of - great industries, about which have grown up tangles of related and - dependent interests, conduct them with some regard to the welfare of - others? Before committing ourselves to the dubious and irretraceable - course of “government ownership,” or to the infectious expedient of - “regulation,” is there anything of promise yet untried?—anything of - superior simplicity and easier application?</p> - - <p>There are few simple remedies for social or political ills. It is a - familiar truth that no law was ever passed that did not have unforeseen - results; but of these results, by far the greater number are never - recognized as of its creation. The best that can be said of any - “measure” is that the sum of its perceptible benefits seems so to - exceed the sum of its perceptible evils as to constitute a balance of - advantage. Yet the statesman or philosopher to whose understanding - “the whole matter lies<span class="pagenum">140</span> in a nutshell”—who thinks he can formulate a - practical political or social policy within the four corners of an - epigram is constantly to the fore with a simple specific for ills whose - causes are complex, constant and obscure.</p> - - <p>Nevertheless, it would be wise to make a breach of labor contract by - either party to it a criminal offense punishable by imprisonment. “Fine - or imprisonment” will not do—the employee, unable to pay the fine, - would commonly go to jail, the employer seldom. That would not be fair.</p> - - <p>The need of such a law is apparent: labor contracts would then be - drawn for a certain time, securing both employer and employee and - (which is more important) helpless persons in related and dependent - industries—the whole public, in fact—against sudden and disastrous - action by either “capital” or “labor” for accomplishment of a purely - selfish and frankly impudent end. A strike or lockout compelled to - announce itself thirty days in advance would be comparatively innocuous - to the public, whilst securing to the party of initiation all the - advantages that anybody professes to want—all but the advantage of - ruining others and successfully defying the laws.</p> - - <p>Under the present <i>régime</i> labor contracts<span class="pagenum">141</span> are useless; either - party can violate them with impunity. They offer redress only through - a civil suit for damages, and the employee commonly has nothing with - which to conduct an action or satisfy a judgment. The consequence - is seen in the incessant and increasing industrial disturbances, - with their ever-attendant crimes against property, life and - liberty—disturbances which, by driving capital to investments in which - it needs employ no labor, do more than all the other causes so glibly - enumerated by every newspaper and politician, though by no two alike, - to bring about the “hard times”—which in their turn cause further and - worse disturbances.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">142</span> - <h3 id="THE_GIFT_O_GAB">THE GIFT O’ GAB</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">A BOOK entitled <i>Forensic Eloquence</i>, by Mr. John Goss, appears - to have for purpose to teach the young idea how to spout, and that - purpose, I dare say, it will accomplish if something is not done to - prevent. I know nothing of the matter myself, a strong distaste for - forensic eloquence, or eloquence of any kind implying a man mounted on - his legs and doing all the talking, having averted me from its study. - The training of the youth of this country to utterance of themselves - after that fashion I should regard as a disaster of magnitude. So far - as I know it, forensic eloquence is the art of saying things in such - a way as to make them pass for more than they are worth. Employed in - matters of importance (and for other employment it were hardly worth - acquiring) it is mischievous because dishonest and misleading. In the - public service Truth toils best when not clad in cloth-of-gold and - bedaubed with fine lace. If eloquence does not beget action it is - valueless; but action<span class="pagenum">143</span> which results from the passions, sentiments and - emotions is less likely to be wise than that which comes of a persuaded - judgment. For that reason I cannot help thinking that the influence of - Bismarck in German politics was more wholesome than is that of Mr. John - Temple Graves.</p> - - <p>For eloquence <i>per se</i>—considered merely as an art of pleasing—I - entertain something of the respect evoked by success; for it always - pleases at least the speaker. It is to speech what an ornate style - is to writing—good and pleasant enough in its time and place and, - like pie-crust and the evening girl, destitute of any basis in common - sense. Forensic eloquence, on the contrary, has an all too sufficient - foundation in reason and the order of things: it promotes the ambition - of tricksters and advances the fortunes of rogues. For I take it that - the Ciceros, the Mirabeaus, the Burkes, the O’Connells, the Patrick - Henrys and the rest of them—pets of the text-bookers and scourges of - youth—belong in either the one category or the other, or in both. - Anyhow I find it impossible to think of them as high-minded men and - rightforth statesmen—with their actors’ tricks, their devices of the - countenance, inventions of gesture and other cunning<span class="pagenum">144</span> expedients having - nothing to do with the matter in hand. Extinction of the orator I hold - to be the most beneficent possibility of evolution. If Mr. Goss has - done anything to retard that blessed time when the Bourke Cockrans - shall cease from troubling and the weary be at rest he is an enemy of - his race.</p> - - <p>“What!” exclaims the thoughtless reader—I have but one—“are not the - great forensic speeches by the world’s famous orators good reading? - Considering them merely as literature do you not derive a high and - refining pleasure from them?” I do not: I find them turgid and tumid - no end. They are bad reading, though they may have been good hearing. - In order to enjoy them one must have in memory what, indeed, one is - seldom permitted to forget: that they were addressed to the ear; and - in imagination one must hold some shadowy simulacrum of the orator - himself, uttering his work. These conditions being fulfilled there - remains for application to the matter of the discourse too little - attention to get much good of it, and the total effect is confusion. - Literature by which the reader is compelled to bear in mind the - producer and the circumstances under which it was produced can be - spared.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">145</span> - <h3 id="NATURA_BENIGNA">NATURA BENIGNA</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">IT is not always on remote islands peopled with pagans that great - disasters occur, as memory witnesseth. Nor are the forces of nature - inadequate to production of a fiercer throe than any that we have - known. The situation is this: we are tied by the feet to a fragile - shell imperfectly confining a force powerful enough under favoring - conditions, to burst it asunder and set the fragments wallowing and - grinding together in liquid flame, in the blind fury of a readjustment. - Nay, it needs no such stupendous cataclysm to de-people this uneasy - orb. Let but a square mile be blown out of the bottom of the sea, or a - great rift open there. Is it to be supposed that we would be unaffected - in the altered conditions generated by a contest between the ocean and - the earth’s molten core? These fatalities are not only possible but in - the highest degree probable. It is probable, indeed, that they have - occurred over and over again, effacing all the more highly organized - forms of life, and compelling the slow march of evolution<span class="pagenum">146</span> to begin - anew. Slow? On the stage of Eternity the passing of races—the entrances - and exits of Life—are incidents in a brisk and lively drama, following - one another with confusing rapidity.</p> - - <p>Mankind has not found it practicable to abandon and avoid those - places where the forces of nature have been most malign. The track - of the Western tornado is speedily repeopled. San Francisco is still - populous, despite its earthquake, Galveston despite its storm, and - even the courts of Lisbon are not kept by the lion and the lizard. In - the Peruvian village straight downward into whose streets the crew - of a United States warship once looked from the crest of a wave that - stranded her a half mile inland are heard the tinkle of the guitar and - the voices of children at play. There are people living at Herculaneum - and Pompeii. On the slopes about Catania the goatherd endures with - what courage he may the trembling of the ground beneath his feet as - old Enceladus again turns over on his other side. As the Hoang-Ho goes - back inside its banks after fertilizing its contiguity with hydrate of - Chinaman the living agriculturist follows the receding wave, sets up - his habitation beneath the broken embankment,<span class="pagenum">147</span> and again the Valley of - the Gone Away blossoms as the rose, its people dicing with Death.</p> - - <p>This matter can not be amended: the race exposes itself to peril - because it can do no otherwise. In all the world there is no city of - refuge—no temple in which to take sanctuary, clinging to the horns of - the altar—no “place apart” where, like hunted deer, we can hope to - elude the baying pack of Nature’s malevolences. The dead-line is drawn - at the gate of life: Man crosses it at birth. His advent is a challenge - to the entire pack—earthquake, storm, fire, flood, drought, heat, cold, - wild beasts, venomous reptiles, noxious insects, bacilli, spectacular - plague and velvet-footed household disease—all are fierce and tireless - in pursuit. Dodge, turn and double how he can, there’s no eluding them; - soon or late some of them have him by the throat and his spirit returns - to the God who gave it—and gave them.</p> - - <p>We are told that this earth was made for our inhabiting. Our dearly - beloved brethren in the faith, our spiritual guides, philosophers and - friends of the pulpit, never tire of pointing out the goodness of - God in giving us so excellent a place to live in and commending<span class="pagenum">148</span> the - admirable adaptation of all things to our needs.</p> - - <p>What a fine world it is, to be sure—a darling little world, “so suited - to the needs of man.” A globe of liquid fire, straining within a shell - relatively no thicker than that of an egg—a shell constantly cracking - and in momentary danger of going all to pieces! Three-fourths of this - delectable field of human activity are covered with an element in which - we can not breathe, and which swallows us by myriads:</p> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">With moldering bones the deep is white</div> - <div class="i0">From the frozen zones to the tropics bright.</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <p>Of the other one-fourth more than one-half is uninhabitable by reason - of climate. On the remaining one-eighth we pass a comfortless and - precarious existence in disputed occupancy with countless ministers of - death and pain—pass it in fighting for it, tooth and nail, a hopeless - battle in which we are foredoomed to defeat. Everywhere death, terror, - lamentation and the laughter that is more terrible than tears—the fury - and despair of a race hanging on to life by the tips of its fingers! - And the prize for which we strive, “to have<span class="pagenum">149</span> and to hold”—what is it? - A thing that is neither enjoyed while had, nor missed when lost. So - worthless it is, so unsatisfying, so inadequate to purpose, so false to - hope and at its best so brief, that for consolation and compensation we - set up fantastic faiths of an aftertime in a better world from which - no confirming whisper has ever reached us across the void. Heaven is a - prophecy uttered by the lips of despair, but Hell is an inference from - analogy.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">150</span> - <h3 id="INDUSTRIAL_DISCONTENT">INDUSTRIAL DISCONTENT</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">THE time seems to have come when the two antagonistic elements of - American society should, and could afford to, throw off their disguises - and frankly declare their principles and purposes. But what, it may - be asked, are the two antagonistic elements? Dividing lines parting - the population into two camps more or less hostile may be drawn - variously; for example, one may be run between the law-abiding and - the criminal class. But the elements to which reference is here made - are those immemorial and implacable foes which the slang of modern - economics roughly and loosely distinguishes as “capital” and “labor.” - A more accurate classification—as accurate a one as it is possible to - make—would designate them as those who do muscular labor and those who - do not. The distinction between rich and poor does not serve: to the - laborer, the rich man who works with his hands is not<span class="pagenum">151</span> objectionable; - the poor man who does not, is. Consciously or unconsciously, and alike - by those whose necessities compel them to perform it and those whose - better fortune enables them to avoid it, manual labor is considered the - most insufferable of human pursuits. It is a pill that the Tolstois, - the “communities” and the “Knights” of Labor can not sugar-coat. We may - prate of the dignity of labor; emblazon its praise upon banners; set - apart a day on which to stop work and celebrate it; shout our teeth - loose in its glorification—and, God help our foolish souls to better - sense, we think we mean it all!</p> - - <p>If labor is so good and great a thing let all be thankful, for all - can have as much of it as may be desired. The eight-hour law is not - mandatory to the laborer, nor does possession of leisure entail - idleness. It is permitted to the clerk, the shopman, the street - peddler—to all who live by the light employment of keeping the wolf - from the door without eating him—to abandon their ignoble callings, - seize the shovel, the axe and the sledge-hammer and lay about them - right sturdily, to the ample gratification of their desire. And those - who are engaged in more profitable vocations will find that with a part - of their incomes<span class="pagenum">152</span> they can purchase the right to work as hard as they - like in even the dullest times.</p> - - <p>Manual labor has nothing of dignity, nothing of beauty. It is a hard, - imperious and dispiriting necessity. He who is condemned to it feels - that it sets upon his brow the sign of intellectual inferiority. And - that brand of servitude never ceases to burn. In no country and at - no time has the laborer had a kindly feeling for the rest of us, for - everywhere and always he has fancied that he heard in our patronizing - platitudes the note of contempt. In his repression, in the denying him - the opportunity to avenge his real and imaginary wrongs, government - finds its main usefulness, activity and justification. Governments - are evolved out of the necessity of protecting from the hand-worker - the life and property of the brain-worker and the idler. The first - of the trio is the most dangerous because the most numerous and the - least content. Take from the science and the art of government, and - from its methods, whatever has had its origin in the consciousness of - his ill-will and the fear of his power and what have you left? A pure - republic—that is to say, no government.</p> - - <p>I should like it understood that, if not absolutely devoid of political - prejudices, I at<span class="pagenum">153</span> least believe myself to be; that except as to - result I think no more of one form of government than of another; and - that with reference to results all forms seem to me bad, but bad in - different degrees. If asked my opinion as to the results of our own, - I should point to Homestead, to Wardner, to Buffalo, to Coal Creek, - to the interminable tale of unpunished murders by individuals and by - mobs, to legislatures and courts unspeakably corrupt and executives - of criminal cowardice, to the prevalence and immunity of plundering - trusts and corporations and the multiplication of unhappy millionaires. - I should invite attention to the abuses of the pension roll, to the - similar and incredible extravagance of Republican and Democratic - “Houses”—a plague o’ them both! If addressing Democrats only, I should - mention the protective tariff; if Republicans, the hill-tribe clamor - for free coinage of silver. I should call to mind the existence and - prosperous activity of a thousand lying secret societies having - for their main object mitigation of republican simplicity by means - of pageantry, costumes grotesquely resembling those of kings and - courtiers, and titles of address and courtesy exalted enough to draw - laughter from an ox.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">154</span></p> - - <p>In contemplation of these and a hundred other “results,” no less - shameful in themselves than significant of the deeper shame beneath, - and prophetic of the blacker shame to come, I should say: “Behold the - outcome of hardly more than a century of government by the people! - Behold the superstructure whose foundations our forefathers laid upon - the unstable overgrowth of popular caprice surfacing the unplummeted - abysm of human depravity! Behold the reality behind our dream of the - efficacy of forms, the saving grace of principles, the magic of words! - We have believed in the wisdom of majorities and are fooled; trusted to - the good honor of numbers, and are betrayed. Lo, this is the beginning - of the end of the dream!”</p> - - <p>Our no government has broken down at every point, and the two - irreconcilable elements whose suspensions of hostilities are mistaken - for peace are to try their hands at each other’s tempting display of - throats. There is no longer so much as a pretense of amity; apparently - there will not much longer be a pretense of regard for mercy and - morals. Already “industrial discontent” has attained to the magnitude - of war. It is important, then, that there be an understanding of - principles<span class="pagenum">155</span> and purposes. As the combatants will not define their - position truthfully by words, let us see if it can be inferred from - the actions which are said to speak more plainly. If one of the men - “directing the destinies” of the labor organizations in this country, - could be enticed into the Palace of Truth and “examined” by a skilful - catechist he would indubitably say something like this:</p> - - <p>“Our ultimate purpose is effacement of the distinction between employer - and employee, which is but a modification of that between master and - slave.</p> - - <p>“We purpose that the laborer shall be chief owner of all the property - and profits of the enterprise in which he is engaged, and have through - his union a controlling voice in all its affairs.</p> - - <p>“We purpose overthrowing the system under which a man can grow richer - by working with his head than with his hands, and preventing the man - who works with neither from having anything at all.</p> - - <p>“In the attainment of these ends any means is to be judged, as to its - fitness for our use, with sole regard to its efficacy. We shall punish - the innocent for the sins of the guilty. We shall destroy property and - life under such<span class="pagenum">156</span> circumstances and to such an extent as may seem to us - expedient. Falsehood, treachery, arson, assassination, all these we - look upon as legitimate if effective.</p> - - <p>“The rules of ‘civilized warfare’ we shall not observe, but shall put - prisoners to death or torture them, as we please.</p> - - <p>“We do not recognize a non-union man’s right to labor, nor to live. The - right to strike includes the right to strike <i>him</i>.”</p> - - <p>Doubtless all that (and the half is not told) sounds to the unobservant - like a harsh exaggeration, an imaginative travesty of the principles - of labor organizations. It is not a travesty; it has no element of - exaggeration. Not in the last twenty-five years has a great strike or - lockout occurred in this country without supplying facts, notorious - and undisputed, upon which some of these confessions of faith are - founded. The war is practically a servile insurrection, and servile - insurrections are to-day what they ever were: the most cruel and - ferocious of all manifestations of human hate. Emancipation is rough - work; when he who would be free, himself strikes the blow, he does - not consider too curiously with what he strikes it nor upon whom it - falls. It will profit you to understand, my fine<span class="pagenum">157</span> gentlemen with the - soft hands, the character of that which is confronting you. You are not - threatened with a bombardment of roses.</p> - - <p>Let us look into the other camp, where General Hardhead is so engrossed - with his own greatness and power as not clearly to hear the shots on - his picket line. Suppose we hypnotize him and make him open his “shut - soul” to our searching. He will say something like this:</p> - - <p>“In the first place, I claim the right to own and enclose for my own - use or disuse as much of the earth’s surface as I am desirous and able - to procure. I and my kind have made laws confirming us in the occupancy - of the entire habitable and arable area as fast as we can get it. To - the objection that this must eventually, here, as it has actually done - elsewhere, deprive the rest of you of places upon which legally to be - born, and exclude you, after surreptitious birth as trespassers, from - all chance to procure directly the fruits of the earth, I reply that - you can be born at sea and eat fish.</p> - - <p>“I claim the right to induce you, by offer of employment, to colonize - yourselves and families about my factories, and then arbitrarily, by - withdrawing the employment,<span class="pagenum">158</span> break up in a day the homes that you have - been years in acquiring where it is no longer possible for you to - procure work.</p> - - <p>“In determining your rate of wages when I employ you, I claim the right - to make your necessities a factor in the problem, thus making your - misfortunes cumulative. By the law of supply and demand (God bless its - expounder!) the less you have and the less chance to get more, the more - I have the right to take from you in labor and the less I am bound to - give you in wages.</p> - - <p>“I claim the right to maintain a private army to subdue you when you - rise.</p> - - <p>“I claim the right to make you suffer, by creating for my advantage an - artificial scarcity of the necessaries of life.</p> - - <p>“As to falsehood, treachery and the other military virtues with which - you threaten me, I shall go, in them, as far as you; but from arson and - assassination I recoil with horror. You see you have very little to - burn, and you are not more than half alive anyhow.”</p> - - <p>That, I submit, is a pretty fair definition of the position of the - rich man who works for himself with his head. It seems worth while to - put it on record while he is extant to challenge or verify; for the - probability is that unless<span class="pagenum">159</span> he mend his ways he will not much longer be - rich, nor work, nor have a head.</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <p>In discussion of such murderous misdoings as those at Homestead and - Coeur d’Alene it is amusing to observe all the champions of law and - order gravely prating of “principles” and declaring with all the - solemnity of owls that these sacred things have been violated. On that - ground they have the argument all their own way. Indubitably there is - hardly a fundamental principle of law and morals that rioting laborers - have not footballed out of the field of consideration. Indubitably, - too, in doing so they have forfeited, as they must have expected to - forfeit, all the “moral support” for which they do not care. If there - were any question of their culpability this solemn insistence upon it - would lack something of the humor with which it is now invested, and - which saves the observer from death by dejection.</p> - - <p>It is not only in discussions of the “labor situation” that we hear - this eternal babble of “principles.” It is never out of ear, and in - politics is especially clamant. Every success<span class="pagenum">160</span> in an election is yawped - of as “a triumph of Republican (or Democratic) principles.” But neither - in politics nor in the quarrels of laborers and their employers have - principles a place as factors in the problem. Their use is to supply - to both combatants a vocabulary of accusation and appeal. All the - fierce talk of an antagonist’s violation of those eternal principles - upon which organized society is founded—and the rest of it—what is it - but the cry of the dog with the chewed ear? The dog that is chewing - foregoes the advantage of song.</p> - - <p>Human contests engaging any number of contestants are struggles, not - of principles but of interests; and this is no less true of those - decided by the ballot than of those in which the franker bullet gives - judgment. Nor, but from considerations of prudence and expediency, will - either party hesitate to transgress the limits of the law and outrage - the sense of right. At Homestead and Wardner the laborers committed - robbery, pillage and murder, as striking workmen invariably do when - they dare, and as cowardly newspapers and politicians encourage them - in doing. But what would you have? They conceive it to be to their - interest to do these things. If<span class="pagenum">161</span> capitalists conceived it to be to - theirs they too would do them. They do not do them, for their interest - lies in the supremacy of the law—under which they can suffer loss but - do not suffer hunger.</p> - - <p>“But they do murder,” say the labor unions; “they bring in gangs of - armed mercenaries who shoot down honest workmen striving for their - rights.” This is the baldest nonsense, as they know very well who utter - it. The “Pinkerton men” are mere mercenaries and have no right place - in our system, but there have been no instances of their attacking - men not engaged in some unlawful prank. In the fight at Homestead the - workmen were actually intrenched on premises belonging to the other - side, where they had not the shadow of a legal right to be. American - working men are not fools; they know well enough when they are rogues. - But confession is not among the military virtues, and the question, Is - roguery expedient? is not so simple that it can be determined by asking - the first preacher that you meet.</p> - - <p>It would be fair and fine all around if idle workmen would not riot - nor idle employers meet force with force, but invoke the impossible - sheriff. When the Dragon has been<span class="pagenum">162</span> chained in the Bottomless Pit and - we are living under the rule of the saints things will be so ordered, - but in these evil times “revolutions are not made with rosewater,” and - this is a revolution. What is being revolutionized is the relation - between our old friends, Capital and Labor. The relation has already - been altered many times, doubtless; once, we know, within the period - covered by history, at least in the countries that we call civilized. - The relation was formerly a severely simple one—the capitalist owned - the laborer. Of the difficulty and the cost of abolishing that system - it is needless to speak at length. Through centuries of time and with - an appalling sacrifice of life the effort has gone on, a continuous - war characterized by monstrous infractions of law and morals, by - incalculable cruelty and crime. Our own generation has witnessed the - culminating triumphs of this revolution, and now, while still the - clank of the falling chains is echoing through the world, and still a - diminishing multitude of the world’s workers is in bondage under the - old system, the others, for whose liberation was all this “expense of - spirit in a waste of shame,” are sharply challenging the advantage - of the new. The new is, in truth, breaking down at every point.<span class="pagenum">163</span> - The relation of employer and employee is giving but little better - satisfaction than that of master and slave. The difference between - the two is, indeed, not nearly so broad as we persuade ourselves to - think it. In many industries there is virtually no difference, and the - tendency is more and more to effacement of the difference where it - exists.</p> - - <h4>III</h4> - - <p>The “labor question”—how to get half enough to eat by working for it—is - as old as appetite. It burned in Assyrian bosoms and tormented the soul - of the ancient Egyptian. In his day and country the medium of exchange - was grain. The banks—all except those of the Nile—were granaries, and - a check was an order for so much grain. Taxes were paid in grain, - salaries and bribes of state officials, soldiers’ wages, pensions, - nearly everything. The wages of laborers and other persons improvident - enough to work by the day were commonly paid in loaves of bread, as - is shown by an account-book of the steward of an “Abode of Rameses,” - which was possibly the Ramesseum at Thebes. Among the entries are such - as this: “Phamenoth the 8th<span class="pagenum">164</span> day. Paid out the bread to the folk, 40 - persons, each 2 loaves, making 80”—which shows, too, that the worthy - steward had a very pretty knack at arithmetic. When paid by the month, - and sometimes when paid by the day, the laborer receiving his wages in - corn got also a certain stated quantity of oil, which, however, was - not considered as money, but as rations. In a <i>papyrus</i> preserved - at Turin one Hanefer imparts some directions to one Hora concerning - certain characteristic work of these old pyramid and temple builders: - “Note that the men be divided into three gangs, each gang under its - captain: six hundred men, making for each gang two hundred. Make them - drag the three great blocks which are before the gate of the temple of - Maut, and not for one single day let it be omitted to give out their - portions of corn and oil.... Also let oil be given to each driver of a - pair of oxen.”</p> - - <p>Strikes and other “remedial measures” appear to have been as common - then as they are now. The unions, like those of Rome later, were - turbulent and insurgent.</p> - - <p>In the twenty-ninth year of Rameses III a deputation of workmen - employed in the Theban necropolis met the superintendent and the<span class="pagenum">165</span> - priests with a statement of their grievances. “Behold,” said the - spokesman, “we are brought to the verge of famine. We have neither - food, nor oil, nor clothing; we have no fish; we have no vegetables. - Already we have sent up a petition to our sovereign lord the Pharaoh, - praying that he will give us these things, and we are going to appeal - to the governor that we may have the wherewithal to live.” The response - to this complaint was one day’s rations of corn. This appears to have - been enough only while it lasted, for a few weeks later the workmen - were in open revolt. Thrice they broke out of their quarter, rioting - like mad and defying the police. Whether they were finally shot full of - arrows by the Pinkerton men of the period the record does not state.</p> - - <p>“Organized discontent” in the laboring population is no new thing under - the sun, but in this century and country it has a new opportunity, and - Omniscience alone can forecast the outcome. Of one thing we may be very - sure, and the sooner the “capitalist” can persuade himself to discern - it the sooner will his eyes guard his neck: the relations between those - who are able to live without physical toil and those who are not are a - long way from final<span class="pagenum">166</span> adjustment, but are about to undergo a profound - and essential alteration. That this is to come by peaceful evolution - is a hope which has nothing in history to sustain it. There are to - be bloody noses and cracked crowns, and the good persons who suffer - themselves to be shocked by such things in others will have a chance - to try them for themselves. The working man is not troubling himself - greatly about a just allotment of these blessings; so that the greater - part go to those who do not work with their hands, he will not consider - too curiously any one’s claim to exemption. It would perhaps better - harmonize with his sense of the fitness of things if the disadvantages - of the transitional period fell mostly to the share of his benefactors; - but almost any distribution that is sufficiently objectionable as a - whole to the other side will be acceptable to the distributor. In the - meantime it is to be wished that the moralizers and homilizers who - prate of “principles” may have a little damnation dealt out to them on - account. The head that is unable to entertain a philosophical view of - the situation would be notably advantaged by removal.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">167</span></p> - - <h4>IV</h4> - - <p>It is the immigration of “the oppressed of all nations” that has made - this country one of the most lawless on the face of the earth. The - change from good to bad took place within a generation—so quickly that - few of us have had the nimbleness of apprehension to “get it through - our heads.” We go on screaming our eagle in the self-same note of - triumph that we were taught at our father’s knees before the eagle - became a buzzard. America is still “an asylum for the oppressed;” and - still, as always and everywhere, the oppressed are unworthy of asylum, - avenging upon those who give them sanctuary the wrongs from which they - fled. The saddest thing about oppression is that it makes its victims - unfit for anything but to be oppressed—makes them dangerous alike to - their tyrants, their saviors and themselves. In the end they turn - out to be fairly energetic oppressors. The gentleman in the cesspool - invites compassion, certainly, but we may be very well assured, - before undertaking his relief without a pole, that his conception of - a prosperous life is merely to have his head<span class="pagenum">168</span> above the surface with - another gentleman underfoot.</p> - - <p>All languages are spoken in Hell, but chiefly those of southeastern - Europe. I do not say that a man fresh from the fields or the factories - of Europe—even of southeastern Europe—may not be a good man; I say only - that, as a matter of fact, he commonly is not. Let us not deny him his - grievance: he works—when he works—for men no better than himself. He is - required, in many instances, to take a part of his pay in “truck” at - prices of breathless altitude; and the pay itself is inadequate—hardly - more than double what he could get in his own country. Against all this - his cry is justified; but his rioting and assassination are not—not - even when directed against the property and persons of his employers. - When directed against the persons of other laborers, who choose to - exercise the fundamental human right to work for whom and for what - pay they please—when he denies this right, and with it the right of - organized society to exist, the necessity of shooting him is not only - apparent; it is conspicuous and imperative. That he and his kind, of - whatever nationality, are usually forgiven this just debt of nature and - suffered to execute,<span class="pagenum">169</span> like rivers, their annual spring rise constitutes - the most valid of the many indictments that decent Americans by birth - or adoption find against the feeble form of government under which - their country groans. A nation that will not enforce its laws has no - claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.</p> - - <p>This “citizen soldiery” business is a ghastly failure. The National - Guard is not worth the price of its uniforms. It is intended to be a - Greater Constabulary: its purpose is to suppress disorders with which - the civil authorities are too feeble to cope. How often does it do so? - Mostly it fraternizes with, or is cowed or beaten by, the savage mobs - which it is called upon to kill. In a country with a competent militia - and competent men to use it there would be crime enough and some to - spare, but no rioting. Rioting in a republic is without excuse. If we - have bad laws, or if our good laws are not enforced; if corporations - and capital are “tyrannous and strong;” if white men murder one another - and black men outrage white women, all this is our own fault—the fault - of those, among others, who seek redress or revenge by rioting and - lynching. The people of a republic have always as good government,<span class="pagenum">170</span> - as good industrial conditions, as effective protection of person, - property and liberty, as they merit. They can have whatever they have - the honesty to desire and the sense to set about getting in the right - way. If as citizens of a republic we lack the virtue and intelligence - rightly to use the supreme power of the ballot so that it really</p> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i10">executes a freeman’s will</div> - <div class="i0">As lightning does the will of God</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <p>we are unfit to be citizens of a republic, undeserving of peace, - prosperity and liberty, and have no right to rise against conditions - due to our moral and intellectual delinquency. There is a simple way, - Messieurs the Masses, to correct public evils: put wise and good men - into power. If you can not do that for you are not yourselves wise, or - will not for you are not yourselves good, you deserve to be oppressed - when you submit and shot when you rise.</p> - - <p>To shoot a rioter or lyncher is a high kind of mercy. Suppose that - twenty-five years ago (the longer ago the better) two or three criminal - mobs in succession had been exterminated in that way, “as the law - provides.”<span class="pagenum">171</span> Suppose that several scores of lives had been so taken, - including even those of “innocent bystanders”—though that kind of angel - does not abound in the vicinity of mobs. Suppose that no demagogue - judges had permitted officers in command of the “firing lines” to be - persecuted in the courts. Suppose that these events had writ themselves - large and red in the public memory. How many lives would this have - saved? Just as many as since have been taken and lost by rioters, - plus those that for a long time to come will be taken. Make your own - computation from your own data; I insist only that a rioter shot in - time saves the shooting of nine.</p> - - <p>You know—you, the People—that all this is true. You know that in a - republic lawlessness is villainy entailing greater evils than it - cures—that it cures none. You know that even the “money power” is - powerful only through your own dishonesty and cowardice. You know that - nobody can bribe nor intimidate a legislator or voter who will not - take a bribe nor suffer himself to be intimidated—that there can be no - “money power” in a nation of honorable and courageous men. You know - that “bosses” and “machines” can not control you if you will not suffer - them<span class="pagenum">172</span> to divide you into “parties” by playing upon your credulity and - senseless passions. You know all this, and know it all the time. Yet - not a man has the courage to stand forth and say to your faces what you - know in your hearts. Well, Messieurs the Masses, I don’t consider you - dangerous—not very. I have not observed that you want to tear anybody - to pieces for confessing your sins, even if at the same time he confess - his own. From a considerable experience in that sort of thing I judge - that you rather like it, and that he whom, secretly, you most despise - is he who echoes back to you what he is pleased to think you think, - and flatters you for gain. Anyhow, for some reason, I never hear you - speak well of newspaper men and politicians, though in the shadow of - your dis-esteem they get an occasional gleam of consolation by speaking - fairly well of one another.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">173</span> - <h3 id="WRITERS_OF_DIALECT">WRITERS OF DIALECT</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">WITH regard to dialect, the literary law, I take it, is about this: To - be allowable in either verse or prose it must be the mother-speech, - not only of the characters using it, but of the writer himself, who, - also, must be unable to write equally well in the larger tongue. This - was the case with Burns. Had he not been to the manner born how absurd - it would have been in him to write for the few who, naturally or by - study and with difficulty, can understand, instead of the many who read - and love good English! For my part, I am unable to read Burns with - satisfaction; and I am steadfast in the conviction that, excepting - among his countrymen, few of those who parrot his praise are better - able than I. Of another thing I am tolerably well assured, albeit it is - nothing to the purpose, namely, that Burns was more wit than poet. Upon - that proposition I am ready to do battle with all Caledonia, the pipers - alone excepted.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">174</span></p> - - <p>In humorous and satirical work like, for example, <i>The Biglow - Papers</i>, the law is relaxed, even suspended; and in serious prose - fiction if the exigencies of the narrative demand the introduction of - an unlettered hind whose speech would naturally be “racy of the soil” - he must needs come in and sport the tangles of his tongue. But he is to - be got rid of as promptly as possible—preferably by death. The making - of an entire story out of the lives and loves and lingoes of him and - his co-pithecans—that is effrontery. If it be urged in deprecation of - this my view that it is incompatible with relish of and respect for, - Miss Mary Wilkins Freeman, Miss Mary Murfree, Mr. Hamlin Garland and - other curled darlings of the circulating libraries, I candidly confess - that it is open to that objection. Of all such offenders against - sweetness and sense I have long cherished a comfortable conviction that - it were better if instead of writing things “racy of the soil” they - would till it.</p> - - <p>The talk of intelligent persons in an unfamiliar language is a - legitimate literary “property,” but the talk of ignorant persons - misusing their own language has value and interest to nobody but other - ignorant persons<span class="pagenum">175</span> and, possibly, the philologist. Literature, however, - is not intended for service in advancing the interests of philology. - The “general reader” whose interest in the characters of a tale is - quickened by their faulty speech may reasonably boast that the ties of - affinity connecting him with their intellectual condition have not been - strained by stretching: it is not overfar from where he is to where he - came from.</p> - - <p>For several months the booksellers of the principal cities in this - country reported that the book <i>David Harum</i> sold better than any - other. The sales went into the hundreds of thousands. It was reviewed - with acclamation by all the popular newspapers and magazines, stared at - you from every “centre table” and was flung into your ears whenever you - had the hardihood to enter a “parlor.” <i>David Harum</i> is one of the - most candidly vulgar and stupid books ever proffered to the taste and - understanding of “the general reader.” It is of course largely written - in “dialect”—that is, in the loutly locution of an illiterate clown - making a trial at his mother-speech. Its “dialect” is so particularly - offensive that I suppose it to be a “transcript from nature:” persons - from whom it is possible would certainly<span class="pagenum">176</span> not deny themselves the - happiness of speaking it; and the book may have some value to the - hardy philologer tracing backward the line of linguistic evolution to - the grunt of the primeval pig. To record the vocal riddances of the - ignorant may be one of the purposes of popular fiction, for anything - that I know, but at least its authors might, in the interest of art, - charge its horrible words with something that one unaffected by - softening of the brain might think to be thoughts; and perhaps they - would if that pandemic infirmity had not marked them for its own.</p> - - <p>Male and female created He them. Mary E. Wilkins Freeman furnishes - forth her annual output of New-English antiques and detestables, filing - their teeth with their tongues, to the inexpressible uncomforting - of the auditory nerve. Mary Murfree, in perpetual session on the - Delectable Mountains, with a lapful of little clay-eaters and - snuff-rubbers, sweats great beads of blood to build the lofty crime - and endow it with enough galvanic vitality to stand alone while she - reaches for more mud for a new creation. There follows an interminable - line of imitators and imitatresses, causing two “dialects” to grow - where but one grew before,<span class="pagenum">177</span> and rabbiting the literary preserve with a - multiplication of impossibles to speak them. And we forbid them not, - for of such is the kingdom of American letters.</p> - - <p>Now, the “dialect” of which these persons are so enamored as to - fill whole volumes with it is not dialect; it is simply English as - spoken by none but uneducated persons and “recorded” by those to whom - ignorance is attractive and seems picturesque. To a sane intelligence - it is neither. Such an intelligence regards it with tolerance or - aversion—that depends on whether in life it is modest or presumptuous; - in letters, subordinate and incidental or dominant and essential. The - writers named—they and their literary co-populists, an innumerable - commonalty—love ignorance for its own sake. They seem to think, and - indubitably do think, that the lives and adventures, the virtues and - vices, joys and sorrows of the illiterate are more interesting than - those prone to grammar and ablution. To those fortuitous collocations - of peasant instincts and pithecan intuitions which these writers call - their understandings a sentiment is deemed to have an added value when - expressed in coarse and faulty speech. So they give us whole books of - it, coddle the<span class="pagenum">178</span> resulting popularity as “fame” and prosper abundantly - by their sin.</p> - - <p>There are dialects which in literary work are legitimate and - acceptable—to those who understand. That of Burns, for example, - is spoken by thousands of cultivated persons and was his own - mother-tongue. He erred in writing in it, as do all having command of - the better and more spacious speech that assures a wider attention, - but in so doing, he broke no laws of taste nor of sense. The matter - is simple enough. A true dialect is legitimate; the faulty speech of - an educated person in an unfamiliar tongue is legitimate, as is that - of a child; but the lame locution of the merely ignorant—the language - of the letterless—that is not dialect, and in any quantity in excess - of an amount that may be needful in fiction for <i>vraisemblance</i>, - or in verse for humor, is reasonless and offensive. As to poetry, our - literature contains no line of that in any such speech. The muse is not - so feasible; she does not submit herself to the embrace of a yokel—not - even to a Tennyson wearing the smock of a northern farmer.</p> - - <p>In fiction the limits of dialect that is not dialect are plainly - defined, not by usage of the masters, for none than masters go more<span class="pagenum">179</span> - often wrong—as none but they can afford to do—but by reason and the - sense of things. If in evolution of his plot the story teller find - it expedient to seek assistance from the “man o’ the people” as a - subordinate character, that worthy person must needs use the speech - of his tribe; as actors, having to wear something—a regrettable - necessity—may garb themselves in the costume of the time of the play, - however hideous it may be. But beyond this the teller of stories that - are not true is denied the right to go. To take for hero or heroine a - person unable to speak the language of the tale, whose conversations - are turbid swirls in the clear stream of the narrative, is an affront - justifiable only by a moral purpose presumably in equal need of - justification.</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <blockquote> - <p>One reads Mr. Hay’s earlier poems with a thrill of pride. They open - glimpses of unselfish courage and sublime devotion compared with - which the prancing pageantry of Homer afflicts us like the cheap - tinsel of the melodrama.</p> - </blockquote> - - <p>Such is the serious judgment of a reputable writer living in the - capital of the nation. It has a particular reference to “Little<span class="pagenum">180</span> - Breeches” and “Jim Bludso,” which are not poems at all, but formless - blobs of coarse, rank sentimentality in the speech of snuff-rubbers and - clay-eaters—the so-called “dialect.” They are no better and could not - be worse than the “Hoosier” horrors of Riley and the “barrack-room” - afflictions of Kipling. I do not doubt that Hay’s dislike of them - and his wish that they might be forgotten incited him to literary - silence, whereby we are deprived of the poetry that he might have - given us had he remained in the field. There is not a true poet in - this country who has not experienced the deep disgust of observing - the superior “popularity” of his own worst work. That here and there - a few should give up in despair, taking to politics, to business, to - any coarse pursuit “understanded of the people,” is natural and not to - be condemned. These accept their dreadful fame as a punishment fitting - the crime, and promise atonement by resolving to write no more “dialect - poetry” while stealing is more honorable and indigence more interesting.</p> - - <p>John Hay was a true poet; so is Riley; so is Kipling. In addition to - their panderings to peasants all have written well. At their best they - stir the blood and thrill the nerves<span class="pagenum">181</span> of all who can be trusted to feel - because taught to think. Yet the late Charles A. Dana, who for years - successfully posed as a judge of poetry, had at last the indiscretion - to disclose himself by a specific utterance of his taste: he pronounced - Kipling’s “Gunga Din” one of the greatest of English poems! After that - there was no more to say about Dana, but Dana had not the reticence - to say it. Poetry, like any other art, is a matter of manner. If the - manner is that of a clown the matter will not redeem it, but, as the - dyer’s hand is “subdued to what it works in,” will itself be smirched - by its environment. English of the cornfield and the slum is suited to - certain kinds of humor and in moderation may itself be amusing, but it - has no place in serious or sentimental composition, either verse or - prose. Persons writing it confess their peasant understandings, and - those who like “dialect poems” like them because they do not know any - better than to like them, and that’s all there is to it.</p> - - <p>The prose writer whom I have quoted probably does know better, but - prefers to march with the procession. Since he mentions Homer and - Tennyson (to affirm the greater glory of the author of “Little<span class="pagenum">182</span> - Breeches” and “Jim Bludso”), perhaps he will permit himself to be asked - if he sees no “unselfish courage” in Hector?—no “sublime devotion” in - Penelope?—none in Enid?—nothing magnanimous in Arthur’s tenderness - to Guinevere? Does he think these noble qualities would shine with a - diviner light in the character of a corn-fed lout of the stables, a - whiskey-sodden riverman or a slattern of the slums?</p> - - <p>The higher virtues are not a discovery of yesterday; they were known as - long ago as last week; and some of us who affect an acquaintance with - antiquity profess to have found traces of them in the poetry of an even - earlier period, before all men began to be born equal. In “the glory - that was Greece and the grandeur that was Rome” there were singing - pigs, as there are to-day, and doubtless they had their special wallows - with mud of a particular brew; but they were not permitted to thrust - their untidy muzzles into the sweet water of the Pierian Spring, turn - it into slime and scatter plenty of it o’er a smiling land. It has - remained for the “fierce democracies” of the Brand-New World to impose - upon letters the law of the Dominion of Dirt.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">183</span></p> - - <p>The leader of the New Movement is indubitably Mr. James Whitcomb Riley, - and here is an example of his work. It is called “His Pa’s Romance,” - and these two passages are quoted with effusion by one of the “critics”:</p> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">Elsie lisps so, she can’t say</div> - <div class="i0">Her own name, ist any way</div> - <div class="i0">She says ‘Elthy’—like they wuz</div> - <div class="i0">Feathers on her words, an’ they</div> - <div class="i0">Ist stuck on her tongue like fuzz.</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <p>How charming!—it affects the sensibilities like the ripple of a rill - of buttermilk falling into a pig-trough. “Ist,” by the way, means (to - an idiot) “just”—it is not easy to say why. Here followeth the other - inspiring passage:</p> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i17">One time</div> - <div class="i0">Elsie start to say the rhyme</div> - <div class="i2">“Thing a thong o’ thixpenth”—whee!</div> - <div class="i0">I ist yell; an’ ma say I’m</div> - <div class="i2">Unpolite as I can be.</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <p>If this is not poetry, what kind of an abysmal imbecility has it the - characteristic distinction to be? Mr. Riley turns off this stuff by - the linear mile, it is received with enthusiasm<span class="pagenum">184</span> and reviewed with - acclamation by nearly every “literary critic” in America, and the - peasants whose taste they share and ignorance reflect are generous - enough to give him a living. Think not, observer from another land, - whose eye may chance to note these lines, that all these “dialect - poets” wear smocks and toil in the fields; it is the peculiar glory - of this great country that its peasants wear as good clothing, pursue - as high vocations and talk as glibly about art and literature as - anybody. Say not in your lack of light that the American gentleman has - boorish taste; say, rather, that the American boor has visible signs - of the prosperity of a gentleman, and to an alien eye is not readily - distinguishable from his betters.</p> - - <h4>III</h4> - - <p>To put a good thought, a tender sentiment, a passionate emotion into - faulty words is to defile it. Does a precious stone acquire an added - value from a setting of brass? Is a rare and excellent wine better when - drunk out of a gourd?</p> - - <p>In Herman Scheffauer’s first book, <i>Of Both Worlds</i>, are two - little poems of such naturalness,<span class="pagenum">185</span> simplicity and beauty that I hardly - know of anything better in their kind. My purpose in quoting them - here is, partly, to bring them to the attention of those who may be - unfamiliar with Mr. Scheffauer’s work, but chiefly to suggest to the - “dialect poets” that they undertake to give them an added charm by - rewriting them in their own manner.</p> - - <div class="center mt5">THE SLEEPERS</div> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">The winds lie hushed in the hill</div> - <div class="i0">And the waves upon the seas;</div> - <div class="i0">The birds are mute and still,</div> - <div class="i0">Deep in their dreaming trees;</div> - <div class="i0">The earth lies dumb in night,</div> - <div class="i0">And the stars in their degrees</div> - <div class="i0">Sleep with the suns in space,</div> - <div class="i0">With angels, with seraphs bright,</div> - <div class="i0">In the light of God His face.</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">Softly lie the heads</div> - <div class="i0">Of the sleepers in their beds;</div> - <div class="i0">But the sleepers in the ground—</div> - <div class="i0">They alone sleep sweet and sound,</div> - <div class="i0">They alone know rest profound.</div> - <div class="i0">Fear not—soon a rest as deep</div> - <div class="i0">Comes to thee—thou, too, shalt sleep.</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <p><span class="pagenum">186</span></p> - - <div class="center mt5">MISERERE</div> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">The last few prayers are done,</div> - <div class="i2">The pall and shroud are spread;</div> - <div class="i0">Seven tapers at thy feet</div> - <div class="i2">And seven at thy head.</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">Thy hands are crossed upon</div> - <div class="i2">Thy bosom white where now</div> - <div class="i0">Thy heart is stilled. O Death,</div> - <div class="i2">How beautiful art thou!</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">187</span> - <h3 id="CRIME_AND_ITS_CORRECTIVES">CRIME AND ITS CORRECTIVES</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">SOCIOLOGISTS have long been debating the theory that the impulse to - commit crime is a disease, and the ayes appear to have it—the disease. - It is gratifying and profitable to have the point settled: we now know - where we are and can take our course accordingly. It has for a number - of years been known to all but a few old physicians—survivals from an - exhausted <i>régime</i>—that all disease is caused by bacilli, which - worm themselves into the organs that secrete health and enjoin the - performance. The medical conservatives attempt to whittle away the - value and significance of this theory by affirming its inadequacy to - account for such disorders as broken heads, sunstroke, superfluous - toes, home-sickness, burns and strangulation on the gallows; but - against the testimony of so eminent bacteriologists as Drs. Koch and - Pasteur their carping is as that of the idle angler. The bacillus is - not to be denied; he has brought his bedding and is here<span class="pagenum">188</span> to stay until - evicted. Doubtless we may confidently expect his eventual eviction by - a fresher and more ingenious disturber of the physiological peace, but - the bacillus is now chief among ten thousand evils and it is futile to - attempt to “read him out of the party.”</p> - - <p>It follows that in order to deal intelligently with the criminal - impulse in our afflicted fellow-citizens we must discover the bacillus - of crime. To that end I think that the bodies of hanged assassins and - such persons of low degree as have been gathered to their fathers by - the cares of public office or consumed by the rust of inactivity in - prison should be handed over to the microscopists for examination. The - bore, too, offers a fine field for research, and might justly enough - be examined alive. Whether there is one general—or as the ancient - and honorable orders prefer to say, “grand”—bacillus, producing a - general (or grand) criminal impulse covering a multitude of sins, or - an infinite number of well-defined and several bacilli, each inciting - to a particular crime, is a question to the determination of which the - most distinguished microscopist might be proud to devote the powers - of his eye. If the latter is the case it will somewhat complicate the - treatment, for<span class="pagenum">189</span> clearly the patient afflicted with chronic robbery - will require medicines different from those that might be efficacious - in a gentleman suffering from sporadic theft or a desire to represent - his district in the Assembly. But it is permitted to us to hope that - all crimes, like all arts, are essentially one; that murder, arson and - conservitude are but different symptoms of the same physical disorder, - at the back of which is a microbe vincible to a single medicament, - albeit this awaits discovery.</p> - - <p>In the fascinating theory of the unity of crime we may not unreasonably - hope to find another evidence of the brotherhood of man, another - spiritual bond tending to draw the several classes of society more - closely together.</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <p>By advocating painless removal of incurable idiots and lunatics, - incorrigible criminals and irreclaimable drunkards from this vale of - tears Dr. W. Duncan McKim provoked many a respectable but otherwise - blameless person to convulsions of great complexity and power. Yet - Dr. McKim seemed only to anticipate the trend of public opinion and - forecast its crystalization into law. It is rapidly<span class="pagenum">190</span> becoming a - question, not of what we ought to do with these unfortunates, but what - we shall be compelled to do. Study of the statistics of the matter - shows that in all civilized countries mental and moral diseases are - increasing, proportionately to population, at a rate which in the - course of a few generations will make it impossible for the healthy to - care for the afflicted. To do so will require the entire revenue that - it is possible to raise by taxation—will absorb all the profits of - all the industries and professions and make deeper and deeper inroads - upon the capital from which they are derived. When it comes to that - there can be but one result. High and humanizing sentiments are angel - visitants, whom we entertain with pride and pleasure, but when the - entertainment becomes too costly to be borne we “speed the parting - guest” forthwith. And it may happen that in inviting to his vacant - place a less exacting successor—in replacing sentiment with reason—we - shall, in this instance, learn to our joy that we do but entertain - another angel. For nothing is so heavenly as Reason, nothing so sweet - and compassionate as her voice—</p> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">Not harsh and crabbed, as dull fools suppose,</div> - <div class="i0">But musical as is Apollo’s lute.</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - <p><span class="pagenum">191</span></p> - <p>Is it cruel, is it heartless, is it barbarous to use something of the - same care in breeding men and women as in breeding horses and dogs? - Here is a determining question: Knowing yourself doomed to hopeless - idiocy, lunacy, crime or drunkenness, would you, or would you not, - welcome a painless death? Let us assume that you would. Upon what - ground, then, would you deny to another a boon that you would desire - for yourself?</p> - - <h4>III</h4> - - <p>The good American is, as a rule, pretty hard upon roguery, but he - atones for his austerity by an amiable toleration of rogues. His - only requirement is that he must personally know the rogues. We all - “denounce” thieves loudly enough if we have not the honor of their - acquaintance. If we have, why, that is different—unless they have - the actual odor of the slum or the prison about them. We may know - them guilty, but we meet them, shake hands with them, drink with them - and, if they happen to be wealthy, or otherwise great, invite them - to our houses, and deem it an honor to frequent theirs. We do not - “approve their methods”—let that be<span class="pagenum">192</span> understood; and thereby they are - sufficiently punished. The notion that a knave cares a pin what is - thought of his ways by one who is civil and friendly to himself appears - to have been invented by a humorist. On the vaudeville stage of Mars it - would probably have made his fortune.</p> - - <p>I know men standing high in journalism who to-day will “expose” - and bitterly “denounce” a certain rascality and to-morrow will be - hobnobbing with the rascals whom they have named. I know legislators - of renown who habitually raise their voices against the dishonest - schemes of some “trust magnate,” and are habitually seen in familiar - conversation with him. Indubitably these be hypocrites all. Between the - head and the heart of a man of this objectionable kind is a wall of - adamant, and neither knows what the other is doing.</p> - - <p>If social recognition were denied to rogues they would be fewer by - many. Some would only the more diligently cover their tracks along the - devious paths of unrighteousness, but others would do so much violence - to their consciences as to renounce the disadvantages of rascality for - those of an honest life. An unworthy person dreads nothing so much as<span class="pagenum">193</span> - the withholding of an honest hand, the slow, inevitable stroke of an - ignoring eye.</p> - - <p>We have rich rogues because we have “respectable” persons who are not - ashamed to take them by the hand, to be seen with them, to say that - they know them. In such it is treachery to censure them; to cry out - when robbed by them is to turn state’s evidence.</p> - - <p>One may smile upon a rascal (most of us do so many times a day) if - one does not know him to be a rascal, and has not said he is; but - knowing him to be, or having said he is, to smile upon him is to be a - hypocrite—just a plain hypocrite or a sycophantic hypocrite, according - to the station in life of the rascal smiled upon. There are more - plain hypocrites than sycophantic ones, for there are more rascals - of no consequence than rich and distinguished ones, though they get - fewer smiles each. The American people will be plundered as long as - the American character is what it is; as long as it is tolerant of - successful knaves; as long as American ingenuity draws an imaginary - distinction between a man’s public character and his private—his - commercial and his personal. In brief, the American people will be - plundered as long as they deserve to be plundered. No human<span class="pagenum">194</span> law can - stop it, none ought to stop it, for that would abrogate a higher and - more salutary law: “As ye sow ye shall reap.”</p> - - <p>In a sermon by the Rev. Dr. Parkhurst is the passage following:</p> - - <p>“The story of all our Lord’s dealings with sinners leaves upon the mind - the invariable impression, if only the story be read sympathetically - and earnestly, that He always felt kindly towards the transgressor, - but could have no tenderness of regard toward the transgression. There - is no safe and successful dealing with sin of any kind save as that - distinction is appreciated and made a continual factor in our feelings - and efforts.”</p> - - <p>If Dr. Parkhurst will read his New Testament more understandingly he - will observe that Christ’s kindly feeling to transgressors was not - to be counted on by sinners of every kind, and it was not always in - evidence; for example, when he flogged the moneychangers out of the - temple. Nor is Dr. Parkhurst himself any too amiably disposed toward - the children of darkness. It was not by mild words and gentle means - that he hurled the mighty from their seats and exalted them of low - degree. Such revolutions as he set afoot are not made with spiritual - rosewater;<span class="pagenum">195</span> there must be the contagion of a noble indignation fueled - with harder wood than abstractions. The people can not be mustered and - incited to action by the spectacle of a man fighting something that - does not fight back. It was men that Dr. Parkhurst was trouncing—not - their crimes—not Crime. He may fancy himself “dowered with the hate of - hate, the scorn of scorn,” but in reality he does not hate hate but - hates the hateful, and scorns, not scorn but the scornworthy.</p> - - <p>It is singular with what tenacity this amusing though mischievous - superstition keeps its hold upon the human mind—this grave, <i>bona - fide</i> personification of abstractions and the funny delusion that - it is possible to hate or love them. Sin is not a thing; there is no - existing object corresponding to any of the mere counter-words that are - properly named abstract nouns. One can no more hate sin or love virtue - than one can hate a vacuum (which Nature—itself imaginary—was once by - the scientists of the period solemnly held to do) or love one of the - three dimensions. We may think that while loving a sinner we hate the - sin, but that is not so; if anything is hated it is other sinners of - the same kind, who are not quite so close to us.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">196</span></p> - - <p>The French have a saying to the effect that to know all is to pardon - all; and doubtless with an omniscient insight into the causes of - character we should find the field of moral responsibility pretty - thickly strewn with extenuating circumstances very suitable indeed - for consideration by a god who has had a hand in besetting “with - pitfall and with gin” the road we are to “wander in.” But I submit - that universal forgiveness would hardly do as a working principle. - Even those who are most apt and facile with the incident of the woman - taken in adultery commonly cherish a secret respect for the doctrine of - eternal damnation; and some of them are known to pin their faith to the - penal code of their state. Moreover, there is some reason to believe - that the sinning woman, being “taken,” was penitent—they usually are - when found out.</p> - - <p>“But,” says Citizen Goodheart, who thinks with difficulty, “shall I - throw over my friend when he is ‘in trouble’?” Yes, when convinced that - he deserves to be in trouble; throw him all the harder and the further - because he is your friend. In addition to his particular offense - against society he has disgraced <i>you</i>. If there are to be lenity - and charity let them go to the criminal who has<span class="pagenum">197</span> foreborne to involve - you in his shame. It were a pretty state of affairs if an undetected - scamp, fearing exposure, could make you a co-defendant by so easy a - precaution as securing your acquaintance and regard. Don’t throw the - first stone, of course, but when convinced that your friend is a proper - target, heave away with a right hearty good-will, and let the stone be - of serviceable weight and delivered with a good aim.</p> - - <p>I care nothing for principles—they are lumber and rubbish. What - concerns our happiness and welfare, as affectable by our fellowmen, is - conduct. “Principles, not men,” is a rogue’s cry; rascality’s counsel - to stupidity, the noise of the duper duping on his dupe. He shouts - it most loudly and with the keenest sense of its advantage who most - desires inattention to his own conduct, or to that forecast of it, - his character. As to sin, that has an abundance of expounders and is - already universally known to be wicked. What more can be said against - it, and why go on repeating that? The thing is a trifle wordworn, - whereas the sinner cometh up as a flower every day, fresh, ingenuous - and inviting. Sin is not at all dangerous to society; what does all the - mischief is the sinner. Crime has no arms to<span class="pagenum">198</span> thrust into the public - treasury and the private; no hands with which to cut a throat; no - tongue to wreck a reputation withal. I would no more attack it than I - would attack an isosceles triangle, or Hume’s “phantasm floating in a - void.” My chosen enemy must be something that has a skin for my switch, - a head for my cudgel—something that can smart and ache. I have no - quarrel with abstractions; so far as I know they are all good citizens.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">199</span> - <h3 id="ON_KNOWING_ONES_BUSINESSAN_INSTANCE">ON KNOWING ONE’S BUSINESS—AN INSTANCE</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">NO series of connected and consecutive military events has been so - closely analyzed by military students as those marking the first - Italian campaign of Napoleon Bonaparte. All expounders of the military - art who have had the good fortune to live since its principles were - so wonderfully illustrated by that campaign have delighted to use its - incidents in exposition. Every student has early learned that he could - not afford to neglect it. Even to the “general reader,” unacquainted - with the mysteries of strategy and tactics, who in the darkness of his - ignorance cherishes the error that war is fortuitous fighting loosely - directed to results by physical courage and the will of God, the - history of these brilliant operations can hardly fail, when lucidly - related, to prove interesting and charming beyond the power of fiction. - As related by the mere “historian,” with his port-fire and blood-fumes - to emotionalize the situation, it<span class="pagenum">200</span> is doubtless as dull reading as the - literature of the heart generally. What, in brief, <i>was</i> this - remarkable campaign?</p> - - <p>In the month of March, 1796, Bonaparte, a boy of twenty-six, untried in - independent command, was intrusted with an army of some forty thousand - badly clad and inadequately supplied men, with which to invade Italy. - He was opposed by Beaulieu, with a well equipped force, Austrians and - Sardinians, of fifty thousand. The Alps and Apennines were between. - Bonaparte began active operations on the eleventh day of April, 1796. - On the seventh day of April, 1797, at Leoben, near Vienna, he received - the Austrian Emperor’s emissaries, who came to sue for peace, and the - war was at an end. During this period of one year less four days, - with forces averaging forty-six thousand opposed to forces averaging - sixty-one thousand he had in fifteen pitched battles routed one - Sardinian army and the six Austrian armies successively sent to drive - him out of Italy, only to be driven out themselves. His losses during - the campaign in killed, wounded and prisoners were about equal to the - numbers of his army at the outset. The losses that he inflicted upon - the enemy were no fewer than one hundred<span class="pagenum">201</span> and twenty thousand men and - vast quantities of <i>material</i>.</p> - - <p>How were these astonishing feats of arms performed? Not by the superior - courage of his soldiers, for the Austrians then, as they are now, - were a brave and warlike people. Not by the “will of God,” whose - agency is to the military eye nowhere discernible, and whose political - predilections are still unknown. Nor were these admirable results due - to “luck,” the “favors of fortune,” the “magic” of genius. They were - brought about by the very commonplace method of knowing his business - thoroughly and applying the knowledge. There is nothing miraculous in - that. It is an open secret which Napoleon himself has explained:</p> - - <p>“In war nothing is accomplished but by calculation. During a campaign, - whatever is not profoundly considered in all its details is without - result. Every enterprise should be systematically conducted; chance - alone can not bring success.”</p> - - <p>I should be sorry to be understood as affirming the possibility of such - military success as Napoleon’s to the mere student of military art, - devoid of Napoleon’s genius. On the other hand, Napoleon’s genius would - have<span class="pagenum">202</span> been futile without his mastery of the art. Military art is no - exception to art in general; for eminent achievement is required great - natural aptitude, <i>plus</i> a comprehensive and minute knowledge of - the business in hand. Given these two requisites in the commander, and - the army is multiplied by two. For many generations, doubtless, the - French will boast of Montenotte, Marengo, Austerlitz, Jena, and Wagram; - but every intelligent soldier’s view is that on all these historic - fields there was but one victor. To quote his words again:</p> - - <p>“It was not the Roman army that conquered Gaul, but Cæsar; it was not - the Carthaginian army which, at the gates of Rome, made the Eternal - City tremble, but Hannibal; it was not the Macedonian army that marched - as far as the Indus, but Alexander; it was not the Prussian army that - defended Prussia for seven years against the three most powerful states - of Europe, but Frederick.”</p> - - <p>The contrary view—the theory of the insignificance of the individual—so - persistently urged a generation ago by Mill, and so eagerly accepted by - the young philosophers of his period, derives no support from military - history. Tolstoi, it is true, is in full, if<span class="pagenum">203</span> somewhat belated, - advocacy of it, and professes to find confirmation in the events that - he relates in his military novels. And it must be confessed that, as - he relates them, they indubitably do seem to justify his view that - leaders do not truly lead. With the splendid irresponsibility of the - fictionist, he shows that the French people having incurred, somehow, - a blind, reasonless impulse to go gadding about Europe, caught up - Napoleon, as a stream bursting out of its banks might catch up a - sheep or a log, and pushed him along before them. A careful study of - the progress through Italy will, I think, show that at least he did - something toward reducing the friction incident to the movement.</p> - - <p>Any one really believing in unimportance of the individual must be - prepared to affirm that a chance bullet finding a lodgment in the brain - of the commander of the Army of Italy at Montenotte would have made but - little difference in the conduct of the campaign and the later history - of Europe; and any one prepared to affirm this may justly boast himself - impregnable to argument, through induration of the understanding.</p> - - <p>The history of the military operations that we have been considering - has never been better<span class="pagenum">204</span> told than in a book entitled <i>Napoleon - Bonaparte’s First Campaign</i>—it should be remembered that he was then - simply General Bonaparte. The author of the book is Lieutenant Herbert - H. Sargent,<a id="FNanchor_1" href="#Footnote_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> of the Army. Nothing could well exceed the clarity with - which the author has told his story; and nothing that I have seen - in military literature is more admirable than his professional but - untechnical comments on its successive stages. Everything is made so - clear that the benighted civilian of the anti-West Point sort, the - fearfully and wonderfully bepistoled swashbuckler of the frontier, the - gilded whiskey-soldier of the National Guard and even the self-taught - strategist of the press can comprehend it all without a special - revelation from Heaven. Those conscious of a desire, however vague and - formless, to acquire such a knowledge of military science and art as - will give them a keener interest in “war <span class="pagenum">205</span>news” that is not “bluggy” - than they ever had in that which reeks with gore and “multiplies the - slain” will find in Lieutenant Sargent a guide, philosopher and friend - for whom they cannot be sufficiently thankful to the God that bestowed - him.</p> - - <p>1895.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">206</span></p> - - <div class="footnote"> - <a id="Footnote_1" href="#FNanchor_1" class="label">[1]</a> After distinguished service as colonel of volunteers in - the Cuban and Philippine wars, this great soldier is now retired as - major in the regular army. Before retirement he published two other - books, <i>The Campaign of Marengo</i> and <i>The Campaign of Santiago - de Cuba</i>, both characterized by all the qualities so conspicuous in - his first book—qualities that are themselves a fine result of “knowing - one’s business.” - - <p>1912.</p> - </div> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <h3 id="A_TRADE_OF_REFUGE">A TRADE OF REFUGE</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">THERE is no security—even the life of a steeple-climber is held by a - precarious tenure. One cannot always be clinging to a spire in “the - intense inane;” one must sometimes descend to “this place of wrath - and tears” in order to eat and write poetry for the newspapers; and - then the manifold perils besetting a surface existence begin their - deadly work, and man that is born of woman is of few days and full of - surprises.</p> - - <p>Once upon a time, ’tis said, a foolhardy steeple-jack took his life - in his hands and ventured down among us. Doubtless he wanted but - little here below; certainly he did not want that little long, for he - made acquaintance with a trolley car and passed away forthwith. If - in the moment of disaster “beneath thy wheels, O Juggernath,” it was - granted to him to hear the comforting “I told you so” of some fellow - craftsman in midheaven, how acutely he must have sympathized with us - unfortunates<span class="pagenum">207</span> condemned to dwell in the midst of alarms from the cradle - to the grave!</p> - - <p>Our hard lot must have touched him nearly; participation in its - disadvantages must have brought it home to his business and bosom with - a more compelling compassion than that of the tempest-tossed mariner - who prays, “God help the poor devils on shore such a night as this!” - In the consciousness of that sympathy—transient though it necessarily - had to be—let us take heart and hope, to confront the perils of our - environment. Let us walk our appointed ways among them with no less - circumspection, but a superior resignation.</p> - - <p>We cannot all be steeple-climbers. We cannot all go down to the sea in - ships and know</p> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">The exulting sense, the pulse’s maddening play,</div> - <div class="i0">That thrill the wanderer on the trackless way</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <p class="noindent">as he reflects on his immunity from the insistent vehicle, the stealthy - sewer gas, the subterranean steam boiler, the Conqueror Dog and all the - other maleficent agencies unknown to a life on the ocean wave.</p> - - <p>Some there must be to till the soil (mostly<span class="pagenum">208</span> malarial), some to hold - the offices, some to feed the dogs, some to tear up the streets, - and many—oh, so many!—to write poetry for the magazines. Ships must - be built for the happy, happy mariner, and steeples to exalt the - prudent climber above the perilous region of industrial discontent. - The timorous aviator, in pursuit of longevity must be supplied with - his apparatus. By rustic and urban industries soldiers must be - maintained in the security of service <i>in partibus infidelium</i> - where the devastating open coalhole comes not to execute its prank, - and missionaries outfitted to grasp the longevital advantages of - labor among the cannibals. In the formation of trusts to bring the - producer and consumer together in the poor-house we must toil in - the pestilential atmosphere of Wall Street. The necessity of making - “elevators” to dispose of the surplus population in our congested - cities is imperious.</p> - - <p>Most of these needful activities have to be conducted on the surface - of the land, amidst the horrors of peace and the deadly devices of an - advanced civilization. It requires the greater and more courageous - part of the population to carry them on; only a few shrinking souls - can afford to seek safety on the steeples.<span class="pagenum">209</span> But the lives of these - have a peculiar value to the millions engaged in the perilous trades - that go on below them. They are survivals of the time that was, - forerunners of the time to be. They serve to remind us of that blessed - barbarism—that golden age when our sylvan forefather gave himself a - chance to live out half his life; and in this dark period of transition - they foreshadow that brighter and better time when the land will be - studded with abundant steeples of refuge for all excepting condemned - criminals and enough ruffian officers of the law to operate, for their - extinction, a few of the more deadly appliances and modern conveniences - of civilization.</p> - - <p>The steeple-jack is a precious possession—let him not be cast out. In - order that he may not be compelled to incur the perils of the street, - let him be clothed and fed with a kite.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">210</span> - <h3 id="THE_DEATH_PENALTY">THE DEATH PENALTY</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">“DOWN with the gallows!” is a cry not unfamiliar in America. There is - always a movement afoot to make odious the just principle of “a life - for a life”—to represent it as “a relic of barbarism,” “a usurpation - of the divine authority,” and the rest of it. The law making murder - punishable by death is as purely a measure of self-defense as is the - display of a pistol to one diligently endeavoring to kill without - provocation. It is in precisely the same sense an admonition, a warning - to abstain from crime. Society says by that law: “If you kill one of us - you die,” just as by display of the pistol the individual whose life - is attacked says: “Desist or be shot.” To be effective the warning in - either case must be more than an idle threat. Even the most unearthly - reasoner among the anti-hanging unfortunates would hardly expect to - frighten away an assassin who knew the pistol to be unloaded.<span class="pagenum">211</span> Of - course these queer illogicians can not be made to understand that - their position commits them to absolute non-resistance to any kind - of aggression; and that is fortunate for the rest of us, for if as - Christians they frankly and consistently took that ground we should be - under the miserable necessity of respecting them.</p> - - <p>We have good reason to hold that the horrible prevalence of murder in - this country is due to the fact that we do not execute our laws—that - the death penalty is threatened but not inflicted—that the pistol - is not loaded. In civilized countries where there is enough respect - for the laws to administer them, there is enough to obey them. While - man still has as much of the ancestral brute as his skin can hold - without cracking we shall have thieves and demagogues and anarchists - and assassins and persons with a private system of lexicography who - define murder as disease and hanging as murder, but in all this welter - of crime and stupidity are areas where human life is comparatively - secure against the human hand. It is at least a significant coincidence - that in these the death penalty for murder is fairly well enforced by - judges who do not derive any part of their authority<span class="pagenum">212</span> from those for - whose restraint and punishment they hold it. Against the life of one - guiltless person the lives of ten thousand murderers count for nothing; - their hanging is a public good, without reference to the crimes that - disclose their deserts. If we could discover them by other signs than - their bloody deeds they should be hanged anyhow. Unfortunately we - must have a death as evidence. The scientist who will tell us how to - recognize the potential assassin, and persuade us to kill him, will be - the greatest benefactor of his century.</p> - - <p>What would these enemies of the gibbet have?—these lineal descendants - of the drunken mobs that hooted the hangman at Tyburn Tree; this - progeny of criminals, which has so defiled with the mud of its - animosity the noble office of public executioner that even “in this - enlightened age” he shirks his high duty, entrusting it to a hidden - or unnamed subordinate? If murder is unjust of what importance is it - whether its punishment by death be just or not?—nobody needs to incur - it. Men are not drafted for the death penalty; they volunteer. “Then it - is not deterrent,” mutters the gentleman whose rude forefather hooted - the hangman. Well, as to<span class="pagenum">213</span> that, the law which is to accomplish more - than a part of its purpose must be awaited with great patience. Every - murder proves that hanging is not altogether deterrent; every hanging, - that it is somewhat deterrent—it deters the person hanged. A man’s - first murder is his crime, his second is ours.</p> - - <p>The socialists, it seems, believe with Alphonse Karr, in the expediency - of abolishing the death penalty; but apparently they do not hold, with - him, that the assassins should begin. They want the state to begin, - believing that the magnanimous example will effect a change of heart - in those about to murder. This, I take it, is the meaning of their - assertion that death penalties have not the deterring influence that - imprisonment for life carries. In this they obviously err: death - deters at least the person who suffers it—he commits no more murder; - whereas the assassin who is imprisoned for life and immune from - further punishment may with impunity kill his keeper or whomsoever he - may be able to get at. Even as matters now are, incessant vigilance - is required to prevent convicts in prison from murdering their - attendants and one another. How would it be if the “life-termer” were - assured against any additional<span class="pagenum">214</span> inconvenience for braining a guard - occasionally, or strangling a chaplain now and then? A penitentiary may - be described as a place of punishment and reward; and under the system - proposed, the difference in desirableness between a sentence and an - appointment would be virtually effaced. To overcome this objection a - life sentence would have to mean solitary confinement, and that means - insanity. Is that what these gentlemen propose to substitute for death?</p> - - <p>The death penalty, say these amiables and futilitarians, creates - blood-thirstiness in the unthinking masses and defeats its own ends—is - itself a cause of murder, not a check. These gentlemen are themselves - of “the unthinking masses”—they do not know how to think. Let them try - to trace and lucidly expound the chain of motives lying between the - knowledge that a murderer has been hanged and the wish to commit a - murder. How, precisely, does the one beget the other? By what unearthly - process of reasoning does a man turning away from the gallows persuade - himself that it is expedient to incur the danger of hanging? Let us - have pointed out to us the several steps in that remarkable mental - progress. Obviously, the thing is absurd;<span class="pagenum">215</span> one might as reasonably say - that contemplation of a pitted face will make a man wish to go and - catch smallpox, or the spectacle of an amputated limb on the scrap-heap - of a hospital tempt him to cut off his arm or renounce his leg.</p> - - <p>“An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,” say the opponents of - the death penalty, “is not justice; it is revenge and unworthy of - a Christian civilization.” It is exact justice: nobody can think - of anything more accurately just than such punishments would be, - whatever the motive in awarding them. Unfortunately such a system is - not practicable, but he who denies its justice must deny also the - justice of a bushel of corn for a bushel of corn, a dollar for a - dollar, service for service. We can not undertake by such clumsy means - as laws and courts to do to the criminal exactly what he has done to - his victim, but to demand a life for a life is simple, practicable, - expedient and (therefore) right.</p> - - <p>“Taking the life of a murderer does not restore the life he took, - therefore it is a most illogical punishment. Two wrongs do not make a - right.”</p> - - <p>Here’s richness! Hanging an assassin is illogical because it does not - restore the life<span class="pagenum">216</span> of his victim; incarceration is logical; therefore, - incarceration does—<i>quod erat demonstrandum</i>.</p> - - <p>Two wrongs certainly do not make a right, but the veritable thing in - dispute is whether taking the life of a life-taker is a wrong. So naked - and unashamed an example of <i>petitio principii</i> would disgrace a - debater in a pinafore. And these wonder-mongers have the effrontery to - babble of “logic”! Why, if one of them were to meet a syllogism in a - lonely road he would run away in a hundred and fifty directions as hard - as ever he could hook it. One is almost ashamed to dispute with such - intellectual cloutlings.</p> - - <p>Whatever an individual may rightly do to protect himself society may - rightly do to protect him, for he is a part of itself. If he may - rightly take life in defending himself society may rightly take life in - defending him. If society may rightly take life in defending him it may - rightly threaten to take it. Having rightly and mercifully threatened - to take it, it not only rightly may take it, but expediently must.</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <p>The law of a life for a life does not altogether<span class="pagenum">217</span> prevent murder. No - law can altogether prevent any form of crime, nor is it desirable - that it should. Doubtless God could so have created us that our sense - of right and justice could have existed without contemplation of - injustice and wrong; as doubtless he could so have created us that - we could have felt compassion without a knowledge of suffering; but - he did not. Constituted as we are, we can know good only by contrast - with evil. Our sense of sin is what our virtues feed upon; in the thin - air of universal morality the altar-fires of honor and the beacons of - conscience could not be kept alight. A community without crime would be - a community without warm and elevated sentiments—without the sense of - justice, without generosity, without courage, without mercy, without - magnanimity—a community of small, smug souls, uninteresting to God and - uncoveted by the Devil. We can have, and do have, too much of crime, - no doubt; what the wholesome proportion is none can say. Just now we - are running a good deal to murder, but he who can gravely attribute - that phenomenon, or any part of it, to infliction of the death penalty, - instead of to virtual immunity from any penalty at all, is justly - entitled<span class="pagenum">218</span> to the innocent satisfaction that comes of being a simpleton.</p> - - <h4>III</h4> - - <p>The New Woman is against the death penalty, naturally, for she is - hot and hardy in the conviction that whatever is is wrong. She has - visited this world in order to straighten things about a bit, and is - in distress lest the number of things be insufficient to her need. - The matter is important variously; not least so in its relation to - the new heaven and the new earth that are to be the outcome of woman - suffrage. There can be no doubt that the vast majority of women have - sentimental objections to the death penalty that quite outweigh such - practical considerations in its favor as they can be persuaded to - comprehend. Aided by the minority of men afflicted by the same mental - malady, they will indubitably effect its abolition in the first lustrum - of their political “equality.” The New Woman will scarcely feel the - seat of power warm beneath her before giving to the assassin’s “unhand - me, villain!” the authority of law. So we shall make again the old - experiment, discredited by a thousand failures, of preventing<span class="pagenum">219</span> crime by - tenderness to caught criminals. And the criminal uncaught will treat us - to a quantity and quality of crime notably augmented by the Christian - spirit of the new <i>régime</i>.</p> - - <h4>IV</h4> - - <p>As to painless executions, the simple and practical way to make them - both just and expedient is the adoption by murderers of a system of - painless assassinations. Until this is done there seems to be no - call to renounce the wholesome discomfort of the style of executions - endeared to us by memories and associations of the tenderest character. - There is, I fancy, a shaping notion in the observant mind that the - penologists and their allies have gone about as far as they can safely - be permitted to go in the direction of a softer suasion of the criminal - nature toward good behavior. The modern prison has become a rather more - comfortable habitation than the dangerous classes are accustomed to at - home. Modern prison life has in their eyes something of the charm and - glamor of an ideal existence, like that in the Happy Valley from which - Rasselas had the folly to escape. Whatever advantages to the public may - be secured by abating the<span class="pagenum">220</span> rigors of imprisonment and inconveniences - incident to execution, there is this objection: it makes them less - deterrent. Let the penologers and philanthropers have their way and - even hanging might be made so pleasant and withal so interesting a - social distinction that it would deter nobody but the person hanged. - Adopt the euthanasian method of electricity, asphyxia by smothering in - rose-leaves, or slow poisoning with rich food, and the death penalty - may come to be regarded as the object of a noble ambition to the <i>bon - vivant</i>, and the rising young suicide may go and kill somebody else - instead of himself, in order to receive from the public executioner a - happier dispatch than his own ’prentice hand can assure him.</p> - - <p>But the advocates of agreeable pains and penalties tell us that in the - darker ages, when cruel and degrading punishment was the rule, and was - freely inflicted for every light infraction of the law, crime was more - common than it is now; and in this they appear to be right. But one and - all, they overlook a fact equally obvious and vastly significant: that - the intellectual, moral and social condition of the masses was very - low. Crime was more common because ignorance was more common,<span class="pagenum">221</span> poverty - was more common, sins of authority, and therefore hatred of authority, - were more common. The world of even a century ago was a different world - from the world of to-day, and a vastly more uncomfortable one. The - popular adage to the contrary notwithstanding, human nature was not - by a long cut the same then that it is now. In the very ancient time - of that early English king, George III, when women were burned at the - stake in public for various offenses and men were hanged for “coining” - and children for theft, and in the still remoter period, (<i>circa</i> - 1530) when poisoners were boiled in several waters, divers sorts of - criminals were disemboweled and some are thought to have undergone the - <i>peine forte et dure</i> of cold-pressing (an infliction which the - pen of Hugo has since made popular—in literature),—in these wicked - old days crime flourished, not because of the law’s severity, but in - spite of it. It is possible that our lawmaking ancestors understood - the situation as it then was a trifle better than we can understand - it on the hither side of this gulf of years, and that they were not - the reasonless barbarians that we think them to have been. And if they - were, what must have been the<span class="pagenum">222</span> unreason and barbarity of the criminal - element with which they had to deal?</p> - - <p>I am far from thinking that severity of punishment can have the same - restraining effect as probability of some punishment being inflicted; - but if mildness of penalty is to be superadded to difficulty of - conviction, and both are to be mounted upon laxity in detection, the - pile will be complete indeed. There is a peculiar fitness, perhaps, - in the fact that all these pleas for comfortable punishment should - be urged at a time when there appears to be a general disposition - to inflict no punishment at all. There are, however, still a few - old-fashioned persons who hold it obvious that one who is ambitious to - break the laws of his country will not with so light a heart and so - airy an indifference incur the peril of a harsh penalty as he will the - chance of one more nearly resembling that which he would himself select.</p> - - <h4>V</h4> - - <p>After lying for more than a century dead I was revived, dowered with a - new body, and restored to society. The first thing of interest that I - observed was an enormous building, covering a square mile of ground. - It was<span class="pagenum">223</span> surrounded on all sides by a high, strong wall of hewn stone - upon which armed sentinels paced to and fro. In one face of the wall - was a single gate of massive iron, strongly guarded. While admiring the - cyclopean architecture of the “reverend pile” I was accosted by a man - in uniform, evidently the warden, with a cheerful salutation.</p> - - <p>“Colonel,” I said, “pray tell me what is this building.”</p> - - <p>“This,” said he, “is the new state penitentiary. It is one of twelve, - all alike.”</p> - - <p>“You surprise me,” I replied. “Surely the criminal element must have - increased enormously.”</p> - - <p>“Yes, indeed,” he assented; “under the Reform <i>régime</i>, which - began in your day, crime became so powerful, bold and fierce that - arrests were no longer possible and the prisons then in existence were - soon overcrowded. The state was compelled to erect others of greater - capacity.”</p> - - <p>“But, Colonel,” I protested, “if the criminals were too bold and - powerful to be taken into custody, of what use are the prisons? And how - are they crowded?”</p> - - <p>He fixed upon me a look that I could not fail to interpret as - expressing a doubt of my<span class="pagenum">224</span> sanity. “What!” he said, “is it possible that - the modern penology is unknown to you? Do you suppose we practise the - antiquated and ineffective method of shutting up the rascals? Sir, the - growth of the criminal element has, as I said, compelled the erection - of more and larger prisons. We have enough to hold comfortably all the - honest men and women of the state. Within these protecting walls they - carry on all the necessary vocations of life excepting commerce. That - is necessarily in the hands of the rogues, as before.”</p> - - <p>“Venerated representative of Reform,” I exclaimed, wringing his hand - with effusion, “you are Knowledge, you are History, you are the Higher - Education! We must talk further. Come, let us enter this benign - edifice; you shall show me your dominion and instruct me in the rules. - You shall propose me as an inmate.”</p> - - <p>I walked rapidly to the gate. When challenged by the sentinel, I turned - to summon my instructor. He was nowhere visible. I turned again to look - at the prison. Nothing was there: desolate and forbidding, as about the - broken statue of Ozymandias,</p> - - <p>The lone and level sands stretched far away.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">225</span> - <h3 id="RELIGION">RELIGION</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">THIS is my ultimate and determining test of right—“What, in the - circumstances, would Jesus have done?”—the Jesus of the New Testament, - not the Jesus of the commentators, theologians, priests and parsons. - The test is perhaps not infallible, but it is exceedingly simple - and gives as good practical results as any. I am not a Christian, - but so far as I know, the best and truest and sweetest character in - literature, next to Buddha, is Jesus Christ. He taught nothing new - in goodness, for all goodness was ages old before he came; but with - an almost infallible intuition he applied to life and conduct the - entire law of righteousness. He was a moral lightning calculator: to - his luminous intelligence the statement of the problem carried the - solution—he could not hesitate, he seldom erred. That upon his deeds - and words was founded a religion which in a debased form persists - and even spreads to this day is<span class="pagenum">226</span> attestation of his marvelous gift: - adoration is merely a primitive form of approval.</p> - - <p>It seems a pity that this wonderful man had not a longer life under - more complex conditions—conditions more nearly resembling those of - the modern world and of the future. One would like to be able to see, - through the eyes of his biographers, his genius applied to more and - other difficult questions. Yet one can hardly go wrong in inference - of his thought and act. In many of the complexities and entanglements - of modern affairs it is no easy matter to find an answer off-hand to - the question, “What is it right to do?” But put it in another way: - “What would Christ have done?” and lo! there is light! Doubt spreads - her bat-like wings and is away; the sun of truth springs into the sky, - splendoring the path of right and masking that of wrong with a deeper - shade.</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <p>Gentlemen of the secular press dealt with the Rev. Mr. Sheldon not - altogether fairly. To some very relevant considerations they gave no - weight. It was not fair, for example, to say, as the distinguished - editor of the <i>North<span class="pagenum">227</span> American Review</i> did, that in conducting - a daily newspaper for a week as he conceived that Christ would have - conducted it, Mr. Sheldon acted the part of “a notoriety seeking - mountebank.” It seldom is fair to go into the question of motive, for - that is something upon which one has the least light, even when the - motive is one’s own. The motives that dominate us we think simple and - obvious; they are in most instances exceedingly complex and obscure. - Complacently surveying the wreck and ruin that he has wrought, even - that great anarch, the well-meaning person, can not have entire - assurance that he meant as well as the disastrous results appear to him - to show.</p> - - <p>The trouble with the editor of the <i>Review</i> was inability to put - himself in another’s place if that happened to be at any considerable - distance from his own place. He made no allowance for the difference - in the point of view—for the difference, that is, between his mind - and the mind of Mr. Sheldon. If the editor had undertaken to conduct - a newspaper as Christ would have done he would indeed have been “a - notoriety seeking mountebank,” or some similarly unenviable thing, for - only a selfish purpose could persuade him to an obviously resultless - work. But Mr. Sheldon<span class="pagenum">228</span> was different—his was the religious mind—a mind - having faith in an “overruling” Providence who can, and frequently - does, interfere with the orderly relation of cause and effect, - accomplishing an end by means otherwise inadequate to its production. - Believing himself a faithful servant of that Power, and asking daily - for His interposition in promotion of a highly moral purpose, why - should he not have expected His favor to the enterprise? To expect - this was, in Mr. Sheldon, natural, reasonable, wise; his folly lay in - believing in conditions making it expectable. A person convinced that - the law of gravitation is suspended is no fool for walking into a bog. - His critic may understand, but Mr. Sheldon could not understand, that - Jesus Christ would not edit a newspaper at all.</p> - - <p>The religious mind, it should be understood, is not logical. It may - acquire, as Whateley’s did, a certain familiarity with the syllogism - as an abstraction, but of the syllogism’s practical application, its - real relation to the phenomena of thought, the religious mind can know - nothing. That is merely to say that a mind congenitally gifted with the - power of logic and accessible to its light and leading does not take - to religion, which is a matter,<span class="pagenum">229</span> not of reason, but of feeling—not of - the head, but of the heart. Religions are conclusions for which the - facts of nature supply no major premises. They are accepted or rejected - according to the original mental make-up of the person to whom they - appeal for recognition. Believers and unbelievers are like two boys - quarreling across a wall. Each got to his place by means of a ladder. - They may fight if they will, but neither can kick away the other’s - support.</p> - - <p>Believing the things that he did believe, Mr. Sheldon was right in - thinking that the main purpose of a newspaper should be the salvation - of souls. If his religious belief is true that should be the main - purpose, not only of a newspaper, but of everything that has a purpose, - or can be given one. If we have immortal souls and the consequences of - our deeds in the body reach over into another life in another world, - determining there our eternal state of happiness or pain, this is the - most momentous fact conceivable. A man who, believing this to be a - fact, does not make it the one purpose of his life to save his soul - and the souls of others that are willing to be saved is a rogue. If he - think that any part of this only needful work can<span class="pagenum">230</span> be done by turning a - newspaper into a pulpit he ought to do so or (preferably) perish in the - attempt.</p> - - <p>The talk of degrading the sacred name, and all that, is mostly - nonsense. If one may not test his conduct in this life by reference to - the highest standard that his religion supplies it is not easy to see - how religion is to be made anything but a mere body of doctrine. I do - not think the Christian religion will ever be seriously discredited - by an attempt to determine, even with too dim a light, what, under - given circumstances, the man miscalled its “founder” would do. What - else is his great example good for? But it is not always enough to ask - oneself, “How would Christ do this?” One should first consider whether - Christ would do it. It is conceivable that certain of his thrifty - contemporaries may have asked him how he would change money in the - Temple.</p> - - <p>If Mr. Sheldon’s critics were unfair his defenders were, as a rule, not - much better. They meant to be fair, but they had to be foolish. For - example, there is the Rev. Dr. Parkhurst, whose defense was published - with the <i>Review’s</i> attack. I shall give a single illustration - of how this more celebrated than cerebrated<span class="pagenum">231</span> “divine” is pleased to - think that he thinks. He is replying to some one’s application to this - matter of Christ’s injunction, “Lay not up for yourselves treasures - on earth.” This command, he gravely says, “is not against money, nor - against the making of money, but against the loving it for its own - sake and the dedicating of it to self-aggrandizing uses.” I call this - a foolish utterance, because it violates the good old rule of not - telling an obvious falsehood. In no word nor syllable does Christ’s - injunction give the least color of truth to the reverend gentleman’s - “interpretation;” that is the reverend gentleman’s very own, and - doubtless he feels an honest pride in it. It is the product of a - controversial need—a characteristic attempt to creep out of a hole - in an enclosure which he was not invited to enter. The words need no - “interpretation;” are susceptible to none; are as clear and unambiguous - a proposition as language can frame. Moreover, they are consistent - with all that we think we know of their author’s life and character, - for he not only lived in poverty and taught poverty as a blessing, but - commanded it as a duty and a means to salvation. The probable effect - of universal obedience among those who adore him as a god is not at<span class="pagenum">232</span> - present an urgent question. I think even so faithful a disciple as - the Rev. Dr. Parkhurst has still a place to lay his head, a little - of the wherewithal to be clothed, and a good deal of the power of - interpretation to excuse it.</p> - - <h4>III</h4> - - <p>There are other hypocrites than those of the pulpit. Dr. Gatling, the - ingenious scoundrel who invented the gun that bears his name with - commendable fortitude, says he has given much thought to the task of - bringing the forces of war to such perfection that war will be no - more. Commonly the man who talks of war becoming so destructive as to - be impossible is only a harmless lunatic, but this fellow utters his - cant to conceal his cupidity. If he thought there was any danger of - the nations beating their swords into plowshares we should see him - “take the stump” against agriculture forthwith. The same is true of - all military inventors. They are lions’ parasites; themselves of cold - blood, they fatten upon hot. The sheep-tick’s paler fare is not at all - to their taste.</p> - - <p>I sometimes wish that I were a preacher: preachers do so blindly - ignore their shining<span class="pagenum">233</span> opportunities. I am indifferently versed in - theology—whereof, so help me Heaven, I do not believe one word—but - know something of religion. I know, for example, that Jesus Christ - was no soldier; that war has two features which did not command his - approval—usually: aggression and defense. He taught not only abstention - from aggression but non-resistance. Now what do we see? Nearly all the - so-called Christian nations of the world sweating and groaning under - their burden of debt contracted in violation of these injunctions which - they believe divine—contracted in perfecting their means of offense and - defense. “We must have the best,” they cry; and if armor plates for - ships were better when alloyed with silver, and guns if banded with - gold, such armor plates would be put upon the ships, such guns would - be freely made. No sooner does one nation adopt some costly device for - taking life or protecting it from the taker (and inventors will as - readily sell the product of their malign ingenuity to one nation as to - another) than all the rest either possess themselves of it, or adopt - something superior and more expensive; and so all pay the penalty for - the sins of each. A hundred million dollars is a moderate estimate - of what<span class="pagenum">234</span> it has cost the world to abstain from strangling the infant - Gatling in his cradle.</p> - - <p>You may say, if you will, that primitive Christianity—the Christianity - of Christ—is not adapted to these rough-and-tumble times; that it is - not a practical scheme of conduct. As you please; I have not undertaken - to say what it is not, but what it partly is. I am no Christian, though - I think that Christ probably knew what was good for man about as well - as Dr. Gatling or the United States Ordnance Office. It is not for me - to defend Christianity; Christ did not. Nevertheless, I can not forbear - the wish that I were a preacher, in order sincerely to affirm that - the awful burdens borne by modern nations are obvious judgments of - Heaven for disobedience to the Prince of Peace. What a striking theme - to kindle fires upon the heights of imagination—to fill the secret - sources of eloquence—to stir the very stones in the temple of truth! - What a noble subject for the pious gentlemen who serve (with rank, pay - and allowances) as chaplains in the army and the navy, or the civilian - divines who offer prayer at the launching of an ironclad!</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">235</span></p> - - <h4>IV</h4> - - <p>A matter of missionaries commonly is to the fore as a cause of quarrel - with nations which have the hardihood to prefer their own religions - to ours. Missionaries constitute, in truth, a perpetual menace to - peace. I dare say the most of them are conscientious men and women - of a certain order of intellect. They believe, and from the way that - they interpret their sacred book have some reason to believe, that in - meddling uninvited with the spiritual affairs of others they perform - a work acceptable to God—their God. They think they discern a moral - difference between “approaching” a man of another religion about the - state of his soul and approaching him on the condition of his linen or - the character of his wife. I think there is a difference; but I have - observed that the person who volunteers an interest in my spiritual - welfare is the same person from whom I must expect an impudent concern - about my temporal affairs.</p> - - <p>No ruler nor government of sense would willingly permit foreigners to - sap the foundation of the national religion. No ruler nor government - ever does permit it except under stress of compulsion. It is through - the<span class="pagenum">236</span> people’s religion that a wise government governs wisely—even in - our own country we make only a transparent pretense of officially - ignoring Christianity, and a pretense only because we have so many - kinds of Christians, all jealous and inharmonious. Each sect would - make a Theocracy if it could, and would then make short work of any - missionary from abroad. Happily all religions but ours have the sloth - and timidity of error; Christianity alone, drawing vigor from eternal - truth, is courageous enough and energetic enough to make itself a - nuisance to people of every other faith. The Jew not only does not bid - for converts, but discourages them by imposition of hard conditions; - and the Moslem’s simple, forthright method of reducing error is to - cut off the head holding it. I don’t say that this is right; I say - only that, being practical and comprehensible, it commands a certain - respect from the impartial observer not conversant with scriptural - justification of a less natural practice.</p> - - <p>It is only where the missionaries have made themselves hated that there - is any molestation of Europeans engaged in the affairs of this world. - Chinese antipathy to Caucasians in China is neither a racial animosity - nor a religious;<span class="pagenum">237</span> it is an instinctive dislike of persons who will not - mind their own business. China has been infested with missionaries from - the earliest centuries of our era, and they have rarely been molested - when they have taken the trouble to behave themselves. (In the time of - the Emperor Justinian the fact that the Christian religion was openly - preached throughout China enabled that sovereign to wrest from the - Chinese the jealously-guarded secret of silk-making. He sent two monks - to Pekin, who alternately preached seriousness and studied sericulture, - and brought away silkworms’ eggs concealed in sticks.)</p> - - <p>In religious matters the Chinese are more tolerant than we. They let - the religions of others alone, but naturally and rightly demand that - others shall let theirs alone. In China, as in other Oriental countries - where the color line is not drawn and where slavery itself is a light - affliction, the mental attitude of the zealot who finds gratification - in “spreading the light” of which he deems himself custodian, is not - understood. Like most things not understood, it is felt to be bad, and - is indubitably offensive.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">238</span></p> - - <h4>V</h4> - - <p>At a church club meeting a paper was read by a minister, entitled, “Why - the Masses Do Not Attend the Churches.” This good and pious man was - not ashamed to account for it by the fact that there is no Sunday law, - and “the masses” can find recreation elsewhere, even in the drinking - saloons. It is frank of him to admit that he and his professional - brethren have not brains enough to make religious services attractive; - but if it is a fact he must not expect the local government to assist - in spreading the gospel by rounding-up the people and corralling them - in the churches. The truth is, and this gentleman suspects it, that - “the masses” stay out of hearing of his pulpit because there he talks - nonsense of the most fatiguing kind; they would rather do any one of - a thousand other things than go to hear it. These parsons are like - a scolding wife who grieves because her husband will not pass his - evenings with her. The more she grieves the more she scolds, and the - more diligently he stays away from her. Satan is not conspicuously - wise, but he is in the main a good entertainer, with a right pretty - knack at making people come again;<span class="pagenum">239</span> but the really reprehensible part - of his performance is not the part that attracts them. The parsons - might study his methods with advantage to religion and morality.</p> - - <p>It may be urged that religious services have not entertainment for - their object. But the people, when not engaged in business or labor, - have it for <i>their</i> object. If the clergy do not choose to - adapt their ministrations to the characters of those to whom they - wish to minister, that is their own affair; but let them accept the - consequences. “The masses” do not really enjoy Sunday at all; they - try to get through the day in the manner that is least wearisome to - the spirit. Possibly their taste is not what it ought to be. If the - minister were a physician of bodies instead of souls, and patients - who had not called him in should refuse to take the medicine which he - thought his best and they his nastiest, he should either offer them - another, a little less disagreeable if a little less efficacious, - or let them alone. In no case is he justified in asking the civil - authority to hold their noses while he plies the spoon.</p> - - <p>“The masses” have not asked for churches and services; they really - do not care for anything of the kind—whether they ought is another<span class="pagenum">240</span> - matter. If the clergy choose to supply them, that is well and - worthy. But they should understand their relation to the impenitent - worldling, which is precisely that of a physician without a mandate - from the patient, who may not be convinced that there is very much the - matter with him. The physician may have a diploma and a certificate - authorizing him to practise, but if the patient do not deem himself - bound to be practised upon has the physician a right to make him - miserable until he will submit? Clearly, he has not. If he can not - persuade him to come to the dispensary and take medicine there is an - end to the matter, and he may justly conclude that he is misfitted to - his vocation.</p> - - <p>I am sure that the ministers and the singularly small contingent of - earnest and, on the whole, pretty good persons who cluster about them - do not perceive how alien they are in their convictions, tastes, - sympathies and general mental habitudes to the majority of their fellow - men and women. Their voices are like “the gushing wave” which, to the - ears of the lotus-eaters,</p> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">Far, far away did seem to mourn and rave,</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <p class="noindent">coming to us as from beyond a great gulf, mere<span class="pagenum">241</span> ghosts of sound, almost - devoid of meaning. We know that they would have us do something, - but what it is we do not clearly apprehend. We feel that they are - concerned for us, but why, we are imperfectly able to conceive. In an - unintelligible tongue they tell us of unthinkable things. Here and - there in the discourse we catch a word, a phrase, a sentence—something - which, from ancestors whose mother-speech it was, we have inherited the - capacity to understand; but the homily as a whole signifies nothing. - Solemn and sonorous enough it all is, and not unmusical, but it lacks - its natural accompaniment of shawm and sackbut and the wind-swept harp - in the willows by the waters of Babylon. It is, in fact, something of a - survival—the memory of a dream.</p> - - <h4>VI</h4> - - <p>The first week of January is by a certain sect set apart as a week - of prayer. It is a custom of more than a half century’s age, and it - seems that “gracious answers have been received in proportion to the - earnestness and unanimity of the petitions.” That is to say, in this - world’s speech, the more Christians that have prayed and the more - they have<span class="pagenum">242</span> meant it, the better the result is known to have been. I - don’t believe all that. I don’t believe that when God is asked to do - something that he had not intended to do he counts noses before making - up his mind whether to do it or not. God probably knows the character - of his work, and knowing that he has made this a world of knaves and - dunces, he must know that the more of them that ask for something, and - the more earnestly they ask, the stronger is the presumption that they - ought not to have it. And I think God is perhaps less concerned about - his popularity than some good folk seem to suppose.</p> - - <p>Doubtless there are errors in the record of results—some things set - down as “answers” to prayer, which came about through the orderly - operation of natural laws and would have occurred anyhow. I am told - that similar errors have been made, or are believed to have been made, - in the past. In 1730, for example, a good Bishop at Auvergne prayed - for an eclipse of the sun as a warning to unbelievers. The eclipse - ensued and the pious prelate made the most of it; but when it was - shown that the astronomers of the period had foretold it he suffered - irreverent gibes. A monk of Treves prayed that an enemy of the<span class="pagenum">243</span> church, - then in Paris, might lose his head, and it fell off; but it transpired - that, unknown (or known) to the monk, the man was under sentence of - decapitation when the prayer was made. This is related by one who - piously explains, however, that but for the prayer the sentence might - have been commuted to service in the galleys. I have myself known a - minister to pray for rain, and the rain came. I fear he knew that the - weather bureau had predicted a fair day.</p> - - <p>I do not object to a week of prayer. But why only a week? If prayer - is “answered” Christians ought to pray all the time. That prayer is - “answered” the Scripture affirms as positively and unequivocally as - anything can be affirmed in words: “All things whatsoever ye shall ask - in prayer, believing, that ye shall receive.” Why, then, when for weeks - all the clergy of this country prayed publicly for the recovery of - President Garfield did the man die? Why is it that although two pious - chaplains ask almost daily that goodness and wisdom may descend upon - Congress, Congress remains wicked and unwise? Why is it that although - in all the churches and many dwellings of the land God is continually - asked for good government good government remains<span class="pagenum">244</span> what it always - and everywhere has been, a dream? From Earth to Heaven in unceasing - ascension flows a stream of prayer for every blessing that man desires, - yet man remains unblest, the victim of his own folly and passions, the - sport of fire, flood, tempest and earthquake, afflicted with famine - and disease, war, poverty and crime, his world an incredible welter - of evil, his life a curse and his hope a lie. Is it possible that all - this praying is futilized and invalidated by lack of faith?—that the - “asking” is not credentialed by the “believing?” When the anointed - minister of Heaven spreads his palms and uprolls his eyes to beseech - a general blessing or some special advantage is he the celebrant of a - hollow, meaningless rite, or the dupe of a false promise? One does not - know, but if one is not a fool one does know that his every resultless - petition proves him by the inexorable laws of logic to be the one or - the other.</p> - - <h4>VII</h4> - - <p>Christ’s Christianity is beautiful exceedingly, and he who admires - not is eyed batly and minded as the mole. “Sell all that thou hast,” - said Christ, “and give to the poor.”<span class="pagenum">245</span> All—no less—in order “to be - saved.” The poor were Christ’s peculiar care. Ever for them and their - privations, and not greatly for their spiritual darkness, fell from - his lips the compassionate word, the mandate for their relief and - cherishing. Of foreign missions, of home missions, of mission schools, - of church building, of work among pagans in <i>partibus infidelium</i>, - of work among sailors, of communion table, of delegates to councils—of - any of these things he knew no more than the moon man. They are - later inventions, as is the entire florid and flamboyant fabric of - ecclesiasticism that has been reared, stone by stone and century after - century, upon his simple life and works and words. “Founder,” indeed! - He founded nothing, instituted nothing; Paul did all that. Christ - simply went about doing, and being, good—admonishing the rich, whom he - honestly but foolishly regarded as criminals, comforting the luckless - and uttering wisdom with that Oriental indirection wherein our stupid - ingenuity finds imaginary warrant for all our pranks and fads.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">246</span> - <h3 id="IMMORTALITY">IMMORTALITY</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">THE desire for life everlasting has commonly been affirmed to be - universal—at least that is the view taken by those unacquainted - with Oriental faiths and with Oriental character. Those of us whose - knowledge is a trifle wider are not prepared to say that the desire is - universal nor even general.</p> - - <p>If the devout Buddhist, for example, wishes to “live alway,” he has not - succeeded in very clearly formulating the desire. The sort of thing - that he is pleased to hope for is not what we should call life, and not - what many of us would care for.</p> - - <p>When a man says that everybody has “a horror of annihilation,” we may - be very sure that he has not many opportunities for observation, or - that he has not availed himself of all that he has. Most persons go - to sleep rather gladly, yet sleep is virtual annihilation while it - lasts; and if it should last forever the sleeper would be no worse off - after a million years of it than after an hour of it. There are<span class="pagenum">247</span> minds - sufficiently logical to think of it that way, and to them annihilation - is not a disagreeable thing to contemplate and expect.</p> - - <p>In this matter of immortality, people’s beliefs appear to go along with - their wishes. The man who is content with annihilation thinks he will - get it; those that want immortality are pretty sure they are immortal; - and that is a very comfortable allotment of faiths. The few of us that - are left unprovided for are those who do not bother themselves much - about the matter, one way or another.</p> - - <p>The question of human immortality is the most momentous that the mind - is capable of conceiving. If it is a fact that the dead live all other - facts are in comparison trivial and without interest. The prospect of - obtaining certain knowledge with regard to this stupendous matter is - not encouraging. In all countries but those in barbarism the powers - of the profoundest and most penetrating intelligences have been - ceaselessly addressed to the task of glimpsing a life beyond this life; - yet to-day no one can truly say that he knows. It is as much a matter - of faith as ever it was.</p> - - <p>Our modern Christian nations profess a passionate hope and belief in - another world, yet the most popular writer and speaker of his<span class="pagenum">248</span> time, - the man whose lectures drew the largest audiences, the work of whose - pen brought him the highest rewards, was he who most strenuously strove - to destroy the ground of that hope and unsettle the foundations of that - belief.</p> - - <p>The famous and popular Frenchman, Professor of Spectacular Astronomy, - Camille Flammarion, affirms immortality because he has talked with - departed souls who said that it was true. Yes, monsieur, but surely - you know the rule about hearsay evidence. We Anglo-Saxons are very - particular about that.</p> - - <p>M. Flammarion says:</p> - - <p>“I don’t repudiate the presumptive arguments of schoolmen. I merely - supplement them with something positive. For instance, if you assumed - the existence of God this argument of the scholastics is a good one. - God has implanted in all men the desire of perfect happiness. This - desire can not be satisfied in our lives here. If there were not - another life wherein to satisfy it then God would be a deceiver. - <i>Voila tout.</i>”</p> - - <p>There is more: the desire of perfect happiness does not imply - immortality, even if there is a God, for</p> - - <p>(1) God may not have implanted it, but merely suffers it to exist, as - he suffers sin to<span class="pagenum">249</span> exist, the desire of wealth, the desire to live - longer than we do in this world. It is not held that God implanted all - the desires of the human heart. Then why hold that he implanted that of - perfect happiness?</p> - - <p>(2) Even if he did—even if a divinely implanted desire entail its own - gratification—even if it can not be gratified in this life—that does - not imply immortality. It implies <i>only</i> another life long enough - for its gratification just once. An eternity of gratification is not a - logical inference from it.</p> - - <p>(3) Perhaps God <i>is</i> “a deceiver;” who knows that he is not? - Assumption of the existence of a God is one thing; assumption of - the existence of a God who is honorable and candid according to our - conception of honor and candor is another.</p> - - <p>(4) There may be an honorable and candid God. He may have implanted - in us the desire of perfect happiness. It may be—it is—impossible to - gratify that desire in this life. Still, another life is not implied, - for God may not have intended us to draw the inference that he is going - to gratify it. If omniscient and omnipotent, God must be held to have - intended whatever occurs, but no such God is assumed in M. Flammarion’s - illustration, and<span class="pagenum">250</span> it may be that God’s knowledge and power are - limited, or that one of them is limited.</p> - - <p>M. Flammarion is a learned, if somewhat theatrical, astronomer. He - has a tremendous imagination, which naturally is more at home in the - marvelous and catastrophic than in the orderly regions of familiar - phenomena. To him the heavens are an immense pyrotechnicon and he is - the master of the show and sets off the fireworks. But he knows nothing - of logic, which is the science of straight thinking, and his views of - things have therefore no value; they are nebulous.</p> - - <p>Nothing is clearer than that our pre-existence is a dream, having - absolutely no basis in anything that we know or can hope to know. Of - after-existence there is said to be evidence, or rather testimony, - in assurances of those who are in present enjoyment of it—if it is - enjoyable. Whether this testimony has actually been given—and it is - the only testimony worth a moment’s consideration—is a disputed point. - Many persons living this life profess to have received it. But nobody - professes, or ever has professed, to have received a communication of - any kind from one in actual experience of the fore-life. “The souls as - yet ungarmented,” if such there are, are dumb to<span class="pagenum">251</span> question. The Land - beyond the Grave has been, if not observed, yet often and variously - described: if not explored and surveyed, yet carefully charted. From - among so many accounts of it that we have, he must be fastidious indeed - who can not be suited. But of the Fatherland that spreads before the - cradle—the great Heretofore, wherein we all dwelt if we are to dwell in - the Hereafter, we have no account. Nobody professes knowledge of that. - No testimony reaches our ears of flesh concerning its topographical or - other features; no one has been so enterprising as to wrest from its - actual inhabitants any particulars of their character and appearance. - And among educated experts and professional proponents of worlds to be - there is a general denial of its existence.</p> - - <p>I am of their way of thinking about that. The fact that we have no - recollection of a former life is entirely conclusive of the matter. - To have lived an unrecollected life is impossible and unthinkable, - for there would be nothing to connect the new life with the old—no - thread of continuity—nothing that persisted from the one life to the - other. The later birth would be that of another person, an altogether - different being, unrelated to the<span class="pagenum">252</span> first—a new John Smith succeeding to - the late Tom Jones.</p> - - <p>Let us not be misled here by a false analogy. To-day I may get a - thwack o’ the mazzard which will give me an intervening season of - unconsciousness between yesterday and to-morrow. Thereafter I may live - to a green old age with no recollection of anything that I knew, or - did, or was before the accident; yet I shall be the same person, for - between the old life and the new there will be a <i>nexus</i>, a thread - of continuity, something spanning the gulf from the one state to the - other, and the same in both—namely, my body with its habits, capacities - and powers. That is I; that identifies me to others as my former - self—authenticates and credentials me as the person that incurred the - cranial mischance, dislodging memory.</p> - - <p>But when death occurs <i>all</i> is dislodged if memory is; for - between two merely mental or spiritual existences memory is the only - <i>nexus</i> conceivable; consciousness of identity is the only - identity. To live again without memory of having lived before is to - live another. Re-existence without recollection is absurd; there is - nothing to re-exist.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">253</span> - <h3 id="A_ROLLING_CONTINENT">A ROLLING CONTINENT</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">LIKE hope, the passion for prophecy springs eternal in the human - breast; man is prone to it, as the sparks fly upward. Stripped of - its several disguises, a considerable part of the world’s writing - and speaking is pure prediction; even the official forecaster of - the weather bureau can not resist the universal urge and maintain a - discreet and dignified silence befitting his office. Eliminate from - politics, for example, all prophecies, expressed or implied—all the - jeremiads based on assumption of the opposite party’s success and all - the assurances of a golden age to ensue from its defeat—and politics - will “look another thing.”</p> - - <p>But of all the cloud of witnesses to the kind of mountain which the - mouse of our country’s future is to bring forth, none seems clearly - to discern the adverse conditions environing the American prophet and - foredooming to futility his vision and his dream. None appears to take - account of the annulling fact that this continent is turning over like - a<span class="pagenum">254</span> man in bed; yet it ought to be obvious to the meanest understanding - that if this movement continue it will supply conditions suitable - to neither the reign of terror consequent upon the success of one’s - political opponents nor the golden age dependent on the ascendency of - the principles professed by oneself.</p> - - <p>It has been shown that the Farallon islands, just off the Pacific - coast, are becoming, as Tennyson would put it, “more and more;” the - lighthouse keeper out there is in progressive achievement of the rôle - of “prominent citizen.” The bar at the mouth of San Francisco harbor is - rising faster in fathoms than those farther inland in public esteem. In - the steady ascension of the bottom of the bay lurks a possibility which - without vanity we may affirm will astonish the astronomers of Mars. In - short, the entire Pacific Coast is insurgent.</p> - - <p>On the Atlantic seaboard inundations from marine storms occur every - year. The waves eat farther and farther into the land; the high-water - mark of one decade becomes the low-water mark of the next, and diking - as an agricultural method has a growing importance. It is estimated - that the greater part of Manhattan island will be submerged within - fifty years, and that within an even<span class="pagenum">255</span> shorter period the Jersey - mosquito will find no rest for the sole of his foot, and must become a - pelican or quit.</p> - - <p>But the steady subsidence of the Atlantic littoral foreshadows changes - more startling than these—more startling, at least, to some who have - not the advantage to be Jersey mosquitoes. Man himself, the man of - the Eastern states, <i>Homo smugwumpus</i>, will find himself face - to face with a problem of supreme scientific interest and personal - importance. Will he travel west and go up with the country, or, staying - where he is, develop into a fish and be mighty quick about it? The - ordinary process of evolution, whereby a million years are required to - change a red worm into a rhinoceros or advance a cave-bat one step in - biological preferment and make it a theologian, will not do for <i>H. - smugwumpus</i> when the wave is at his armpits and his ancestral acres - are falling away from his webless feet. Even the fittest of his species - must travel with uncommon speed along the line of development in order - to survive in the new environment. They must slide nimbly up the - scale of being, passing every intermediate stage between smugwumphood - and fishness without pausing to enjoy its advantages. Probably, - however,<span class="pagenum">256</span> most of them will prefer to ascend the new watercourses up - the ever-steepening slope of the great plains, settling eventually on - the summit of the continent, roundabout San Francisco—where it is to - be hoped they will be welcome if they behave themselves. Doubtless - they will miss many of the blessings of their lowland existence, but - they will find in the superior altitude an immunity from sunstroke and - the mad dog, which will be partial compensation for renouncing the - fascinating study of the long thermometer.</p> - - <p>Probably the turning over of the continent will in time be stayed; to - the unscientific mind, at least, its complete subversion is imperfectly - thinkable. But for the next few thousand years, while still the memory - of the purpose and efficacy of Noah’s deluge is fresh and pleasing in - Heaven, the movement will be likely to continue. By the time that it - ceases the Atlantic shore will perhaps be a contour line on the eastern - declivity of the Rocky Mountains, and the Pacific slope comprise all - that region now underlying the “great gulf” between this world and - Hawaii. As a practical settlement of the annexation question on a - staying basis, this unpolitical movement is worthy of the highest - commendation. With<span class="pagenum">257</span> the construction of the San Francisco and Honolulu - Pacific Railroad by Government and at the rate of fifty million dollars - a mile in hand paid to the owners of the road, and by them kept for - their honesty, the status of the descendants of Kamehameha and Kalakaua - will be definitely fixed—they will be payers of All That The Traffic - Will Bear.</p> - - <p>The upward tendency of the Pacific side of the continent will be - attended, no doubt, with certain inconveniences. Already the relentless - progress of its ascension has laid “effacing fingers” on the <i>amour - propre</i> of several worthy persons who thought themselves heavy - enough to hold it down.</p> - - <p>1892.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">258</span> - <h3 id="CHARITY">CHARITY</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">THE promoter of organized charity protests against “the wasteful - and mischievous method of undirected relief.” He means, naturally, - relief that is not directed by somebody else than the person giving - it—undirected by him and his kind—professional almoners—philanthropists - who deem it more blessed to allot than to bestow. Indubitably much is - wasted and some mischief done by indiscriminate giving—and individual - givers are addicted to that faulty practice. But there is something to - be said for “undirected relief,” quite the same. It blesses not only - him who receives (when he is worthy; and when he is not, upon his own - head be it) but him who gives. To those uncalculating persons who, - despite the protests of the organized charitable, concede a certain - moral value to the spontaneous impulses of the heart and read in the - word “relief” a double meaning, the office of the mere distributor - is imperfectly sacred. He is even without scriptural authority, and - lives in the perpetual<span class="pagenum">259</span> challenge of a moral <i>quo warranto</i>. - Nevertheless he is not without his uses. He is a tapper of tills that - do not open automatically. He is almoner to the uncompassionate, - who but for him would give no alms. He negotiates unnatural but not - censurable relations between selfishness and ingratitude. The good - that he does is purely material. He makes two leaves of fat to grow - where but one grew before, lessens the sum of gastric pangs and dorsal - chills. All this is something, certainly, but it generates no warm - and elevated sentiments and does nothing in mitigation of the poor’s - animosity to the rich. Organized charity is an insipid and savorless - thing; its place among moral agencies is no higher than that of root - beer.</p> - - <p>Christ did not say, “Sell that thou hast and give to the church to - give to the poor.” He did not mention the Associated Charities of the - period. I do not find the words, “The Little Sisters of the Poor ye - have always with you,” nor, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least - of these Dorcas societies ye have done it unto me.” Nowhere do I find - myself commanded to enable others to comfort the afflicted and visit - the sick and those in prison. Nowhere is recorded God’s blessing upon - him<span class="pagenum">260</span> who makes himself a part of a charity machine—no, not even if he - be the guiding lever of the whole mechanism.</p> - - <p>Organized charity is a delusion and a snare. It enables Munniglut to - think himself a good man for paying annual dues and buying transferable - meal tickets. Munniglut is not thereby a good man. On the Last Great - Day, when he cowers in the Ineffable Presence and is asked for an - accounting it will not profit him to say, “Hearing that A was in want, - I gave money for his need to B.” Nor will it advantage B to say, “When - A was in distress I asked C to relieve him, and myself allotted the - relief according to a resolution of D, E and F.”</p> - - <p>There are blessings and benefactions that one would willingly - forego—among them the poor. Quack remedies for poverty amuse; a real - specific would kindle a noble enthusiasm. Yet the world would lose much - by it; human nature would suffer a change for the worse. Happily and - unhappily, poverty is not abolishable: “The poor ye have always with - you” is a sentence that can never become unintelligible. Effect of a - thousand permanent causes, poverty is invincible, eternal. And since we - must have it let us thank God for it and avail<span class="pagenum">261</span> ourselves of all its - advantages to mind and character. He who is not good to the deserving - poor; who knows not those of his immediate environment; who goes not - among them making inquiry of their personal needs; who does not wish - with all his heart and strive with both his hands to relieve them—is - wasteful and improvident.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">262</span> - <h3 id="EMANCIPATED_WOMAN">EMANCIPATED WOMAN</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">WHAT I should like to know is, how “the enlargement of woman’s sphere” - by her entrance into various activities of commercial, professional - and industrial life benefits the sex. It may please Helen Gougar and - satisfy her sense of logical accuracy to say, as she does: “We women - must work in order to fill the places left vacant by liquor-drinking - men.” But who filled these places before? Did they remain vacant, or - were there then disappointed applicants, as now? If my memory serves, - there has been no time in the period that it covers when the supply - of workers—abstemious male workers—was not in excess of the demand. - That it has always been so is sufficiently attested by the universally - inadequate wage rate.</p> - - <p>Employers seldom fail, and never for long, to get all the workmen they - need. The field into which women have put their sickles was already - overcrowded with reapers. Whatever employment women have obtained - has<span class="pagenum">263</span> been got by displacing men—who would otherwise be supporting - women. Where is the general advantage? We may shout “high tariff,” - “combination of capital,” “demonetization of silver,” and what not, but - if searching for the cause of augmented poverty and crime, “industrial - discontent” and the tramp evil, instead of dogmatically expounding it, - we should take some account of this enormous, sudden addition to the - number of workers seeking work. If any one thinks that within the brief - period of a generation the visible supply of labor can be enormously - augmented without profoundly affecting the stability of things and - disastrously touching the interests of wage-workers let no rude - voice dispel his dream of such maleficent agencies as his slumbrous - understanding may joy to affirm. And let our Widows of Ashur unlung - themselves in advocacy of quack remedies for evils of which themselves - are cause; it remains true that when the contention of two lions for - one bone is exacerbated by the accession of a lioness the squabble is - not composable by stirring up some bears in the cage adjacent.</p> - - <p>Indubitably a woman is under no obligation to sacrifice herself to - the good of her sex by foregoing needed employment in the hope<span class="pagenum">264</span> that - it may fall to a man gifted with dependent women. Nevertheless our - congratulations are more intelligent when bestowed upon her individual - head than when sifted into the hair of all Eve’s daughters. This - is a world of complexities, in which the lines of interest are so - intertangled as frequently to transgress that of sex; and one ambitious - to help but half the race may profitably know that every effort to that - end provokes a counterbalancing mischief. The “enlargement of woman’s - opportunities” has benefited individual women. It has not benefited the - sex as a whole, and has distinctly damaged the race. The mind that can - not discern a score of great and irreparable general evils distinctly - traceable to “emancipation of woman” is as impregnable to the light as - a toad in a rock.</p> - - <p>A marked demerit of the new order of things—the <i>régime</i> of female - commercial service—is that its main advantage accrues, not to the - race, not to the sex, not to the class, not to the individual woman, - but to the person of least need and worth—the male employer. (Female - employers in any considerable number there will not be, but those that - we have could give the male ones profitable instruction in grinding - the faces of their employees.)<span class="pagenum">265</span> This constant increase of the army - of labor—always and everywhere too large for the work in sight—by - accession of a new contingent of natural oppressibles makes the very - teeth of old Munniglut thrill with a poignant delight. It brings in - that situation known as two laborers seeking one job—and one of them a - person whose bones he can easily grind to make his bread; and Munniglut - is a miller of skill and experience, dusted all over with the evidence - of his useful craft. When Heaven has assisted the Daughters of Hope - to open to women a new “avenue of opportunities” the first to enter - and walk therein, like God in the Garden of Eden, is the good Mr. - Munniglut, contentedly smoothing the folds out of the superior slope of - his paunch, exuding the peculiar aroma of his oleaginous personality - and larding the new roadway with the overflow of a righteousness - stimulated to action by relish of his own identity. And ever thereafter - the subtle suggestion of a fat philistinism lingers along that path of - progress like an assertion of a possessory right.</p> - - <p>It is God’s own crystal truth that in dealing with women unfortunate - enough to be compelled to earn their own living and fortunate enough to - have wrested from Fate an<span class="pagenum">266</span> opportunity to do so, men of business and - affairs treat them with about the same delicate consideration that they - show to dogs and horses of the inferior breeds. It does not commonly - occur to the wealthy “professional man,” or “prominent merchant,” to - be ashamed to add to his yearly thousands a part of the salary justly - due to his female bookkeeper or typewriter, who sits before him all day - with an empty belly in order to have an habilimented back. He has a - vague, hazy notion that the law of supply and demand is mandatory, and - that in submitting himself to it by paying her a half of what he would - have to pay a man of inferior efficiency he is supplying the world - with a noble example of obedience. I must take the liberty to remind - him that the law of supply and demand is not imperative; it is not a - statute but a phenomenon. He may reply: “It is imperative; the penalty - for disobedience is failure. If I pay more in salaries and wages than - I need to, my competitor will not; and with that advantage he will - drive me from the field.” If his margin of profit is so small that he - must eke it out by coining the sweat of his workwomen into nickels I’ve - nothing to say to him. Let him adopt in peace the motto, “I cheat to<span class="pagenum">267</span> - eat.” I do not know why he should eat, but Nature, who has provided - sustenance for the worming sparrow, the sparrowing owl and the owling - eagle, approves the needy man of prey and makes a place for him at - table.</p> - - <p>Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there - is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch—as cunning is the - wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward. Nobody - is altogether bad; the scoundrel who has grown rich by underpaying - workmen in his factory will sometimes endow an asylum for indigent - seamen. To oppress one’s own workmen, and provide for the workmen - of a neighbor—to skin those in charge of one’s own interests while - cottoning and oiling the residuary product of another’s skinnery—that - is not very good benevolence, nor very good sense, but it serves in - place of both. The man who eats <i>pâté de fois gras</i> in the sweat - of his girl cashier’s face, or wears purple and fine linen in order - that his typewriter may have an eocene gown and a pliocene hat, seems - a tolerably satisfactory specimen of the genus thief; but let us not - forget that in his own home—a fairly good one—he may enjoy and merit - that highest and most honorable title on the scroll of woman’s favor,<span class="pagenum">268</span> - “a good provider.” One having a claim to that glittering distinction - should enjoy immunity from the coarse and troublesome question, “From - whose backs and bellies do you provide?”</p> - - <p>So much for the material results to the sex. What are the moral - results? One does not like to speak of them, particularly to those who - do not and can not know—to good women in whose innocent minds female - immorality is inseparable from flashy gowning and the painted face; - to foolish, book-taught men who honestly believe in some protective - sanctity that hedges womanhood. If men of the world with years enough - to have lived out of the old <i>régime</i> into the new would testify - in this matter there would ensue a great rattling of dry bones in - bodices of reform-ladies. Nay, if the young man about town, knowing - nothing of how things were in the “dark backward and absym of time,” - but something of the moral distance between even so free-running a - creature as the society girl and the average working girl of the - factory, the shop and the office, would speak out (under assurance of - immunity from prosecution) his testimony would be a surprise to the - cartilaginous virgins, blowsy matrons, acrid relicts and hairy<span class="pagenum">269</span> males - of Emancipation. It would pain, too, some very worthy but unobservant - persons not in sympathy with “the cause.”</p> - - <p>Certain significant facts are within the purview of all but the very - young and the comfortably blind. To the woman of to-day the man of - to-day is imperfectly polite. In place of reverence he gives her - “deference;” to the language of compliment has succeeded the language - of raillery. Men have almost forgotten how to bow. Doubtless the - advanced female prefers the new manner, as may some of her less forward - sisters, thinking it more sincere. It is not; our giddy grandfather - talked high-flown nonsense because his heart had tangled his tongue. - He treated his woman more civilly than we ours because he loved her - better. He never had seen her on the “rostrum” and in the lobby, never - had heard her in advocacy of herself, never had read her confessions - of his sins, never had felt the stress of her competition, nor himself - assisted by daily personal contact in rubbing the bloom off her. He did - not know that her virtues were due to her secluded life, but thought, - dear old boy, that they were a gift of God.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">270</span> - <h3 id="THE_OPPOSING_SEX">THE OPPOSING SEX</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">EMANCIPATION of woman is not of American invention. The “movement,” - like most others that are truly momentous, began in Europe and has - broken through and broken down more formidable barriers of law, - custom and tradition there than here. It is not true, as dogmatically - affirmed by a noted American writer, that the English married woman - is “virtually a bondwoman” to her husband; that “she can hardly go - and come without his consent, and usually he does not consent;” that - “all she has is his.” If there is such a thing as “the bitterness of - the English married woman to the law,” underlying it there is such a - thing as ignorance of what the law is. The “subjection of woman,” as it - exists to-day in England, is customary and traditionary—a social, not - a legal, subjection. Nowhere has law so sharply challenged that male - dominion whose seat is in the harder muscles, the larger brain and the - coarser heart. And the law, it may be worth while to point out, was - not of<span class="pagenum">271</span> woman born; nor was it handed down out of Heaven engraved on - tables of stone. Learned English judges have decided that virtually, - even the term “marital rights” has no longer a legal signification. As - one writer puts it, “The law has relaxed the husband’s control over his - wife’s person and fortune, bit by bit, until legally it has left him - nothing but the power to prevent her, if he is so disposed and arrives - in time, from jumping out of the window.” He will find it greatly to - his interest to arrive in time when he conveniently can, and to be so - disposed, for the husband is still liable for the wife’s torts; and if - she make the leap he may have to pay for the telescoping of a subjacent - hat or two.</p> - - <p>In England it is Tyrant Man himself who is chafing in his chain. Not - only is a husband still liable for the wrongs committed by the wife - whom he has no longer the power to restrain from committing them, but - in many ways—in one very important way—his obligation to her remains - intact after she has had the self-sacrifice to surrender all obligation - to him. Moreover, if his wife has a separate estate he has to endure - the pain of seeing it hedged about from her creditors (themselves not - altogether happy in the contemplation) with restrictions<span class="pagenum">272</span> which do - not hamper the right of recourse against his own. Doubtless all this - is not without a softening effect upon his character, smoothing down - his dispositional asperities and endowing him day by day with fresh - accretions of humility; and that is good for him. I do not say that - woman’s autonomy is not among the most efficacious agencies for man’s - reclamation from the sin of pride; I only say that it is not indigenous - to this country, the sweet, sweet home of the assassiness, the happy - hunting ground of the whiplady, the paradise of the vitrioleuse.</p> - - <p>If the protagonists of woman suffrage are frank they are shallow; if - wise, uncandid. Continually they affirm their conviction that political - power in the hands of women will give us better government. To proof of - that proposition they address all the powers that they have and marshal - such facts as can be compelled to serve under their flag. They either - think or profess to think that if they can show that women’s votes will - purify politics they will have proved their case. That is not true; - the strongest objection to woman suffrage would remain untouched. Pure - politics is desirable, certainly, but it is not the chief concern of - the best and most intelligent<span class="pagenum">273</span> citizens. Good government is devoutly - to be wished, but more than good government we need good women. If all - our public affairs were to be ordered with the goodness and wisdom - of angels, and this state of perfection were obtained by sacrifice - of any of those qualities which make the best of our women, if not - what they should be, nor what the mindless male thinks them, at least - what they are, we should have purchased the advantage too dearly. The - effect of woman suffrage upon the country is of secondary importance: - the question for profitable consideration is, How will it affect the - character of woman? He who does not see in the goodness and charm - of such women as are good and charming something incalculably more - precious than any degree of political purity or national prosperity may - be a patriot; but also he has the distinction to be a pig.</p> - - <p>I should like to ask the gallant gentlemen who vote for removal of - woman’s political disability if they have observed in the minds and - manners of the women in the forefront of the movement nothing “ominous - and drear.” Are not these women different—I don’t say worse, just - different—from the best types of women of peace who are not exhibits - and<span class="pagenum">274</span> audibles? If they are different is the difference of such a nature - as to encourage a hope that activity in public affairs will work an - improvement in Woman? Is “the glare of publicity” good for her growth - in grace and winsomeness? Would a sane and sensible husband or lover - willingly forego in wife or sweetheart all that the colonels of her - sex appear to lack, or find in her all that they appear to have and to - value?</p> - - <p>A few more questions—addressed more particularly to veteran observers - than to those to whom the world is new and strange. Do you think that - when all women are armed with the ballot they will compel a return to - the old <i>régime</i> of reverence and delicate consideration—extorting - by their power the tribute once voluntarily paid to their weakness? - Is there any known way by which women can at the same time be our - political equals and our social superiors, our competitors in the sharp - and bitter struggle for glory, gain or bread, and the objects of our - unselfish and undiminished devotion? The present predicts the future; - of the foreshadow of the coming event all sensitive female hearts feel - the chill. For whatever advantages, real or illusory, some women enjoy - under this <i>régime</i> of<span class="pagenum">275</span> partial “emancipation” all women pay. Of - the coin in which payment is made the shouldering shouters of the sex - have not a groat and can bear the situation with tranquillity. They - have either passed the age of masculine attention or were born without - the means to its accroachment. Dwelling in the open bog, they can - afford to defy eviction.</p> - - <p>While men did nearly all the writing and public speaking of the world, - setting so the fashion in thought, women, naturally extolled with - true sexual extravagance, came to be considered, even by themselves, - a very superior order of beings, with something in them of divinity - which was denied to man. Not only were they represented as better, - generally, than men, as indeed anybody could see that they were, but - their goodness was supposed to be a kind of spiritual endowment and - more or less independent of environmental influences. We are changing - all that. Women are beginning to do much of the writing and public - speaking, and they are sure to disclose, even to the unthinking, - certain defects of character in themselves which their silence had - veiled. Their competition, too, in the several kinds of affairs will - slowly but certainly provoke resentment, and moreover expose them to - temptations<span class="pagenum">276</span> that will distinctly lower the morality of their sex. All - these changes, and many more having a similar effect and significance, - are occurring with rapidity, and the stated results are already visible - to even the blindest observation. In accurate forecast of the new order - of things conjecture fails, but so much we know: the woman-superstition - has already received its death wound and must soon expire.</p> - - <p>Everywhere, and in no reverential spirit, men are questioning the - dear old idolatry; not “sapping a solemn creed with solemn sneer,” - but dispassionately applying to its basic doctrine the methods - of scientific criticism. In the various movements—none of them - consciously iconoclastic—engaged in overthrowing this oddest of modern - superstitions there is something to deprecate, and even deplore, but - the superstition can be spared. It never had much in it that was either - creditable or profitable, and all through its rituals ran a note of - insincerity which was partly Nature’s protest against the rites, but - partly, too, hypocrisy. There is no danger that good men will ever - cease to respect and love good women, and if bad men ever cease to - adore them for their sex when not beating them for their virtues<span class="pagenum">277</span> the - gain in consistency will partly offset the loss in religious ecstasy.</p> - - <p>Let the patriot abandon his fear, his betters their hope, that only - the low class woman will vote—the unlettered wench of the slums, the - raddled hag of the dives, the war-painted <i>protégée</i> of the - police. Into the vortex of politics goes every floating thing that - is free to move. The summons to the polls will be imperative and - incessant. Duty will thunder it from every platform, conscience whisper - it into every ear; pride, interest, the lust of victory—all the motives - that impel men to partisan activity will act with the same power upon - women as upon men; and to all the other forces flowing irresistibly - toward the polls will be added the suasion of men themselves. The price - of votes will not decline because of the increased supply, although - it will in most instances be offered in currencies too subtle to be - counted. As now, the honest and respectable elector will habitually - take bribes in the invisible coin of the realm of Sentiment—a mintage - peculiarly valued by woman. For one reason or another all women will - vote, even those who now view the “right” with aversion. The observer - who has marked the strength and activity of the forces pent in the<span class="pagenum">278</span> - dark drink of politics and given off in the act of bibation will - not expect inaction in the victim of the “habit,” be he male or she - female. In the partisan, conviction is compulsion—opinions bear fruit - in conduct. The partisan thinks in deeds, and woman is by nature - a partisan—a blessing for which the Lord has never made her male - relatives and friends sufficiently thankful. Not a mere man of them - would have the effrontery to ask her toleration if she were not.</p> - - <p>Depend upon it, the full strength of the female vote will eventually be - cast at every election. And it would be well indeed for civilization - and the interests of the race if woman suffrage meant no more than - going to the polling-place and polling—which clearly is all that it - has been thought out to mean by the headless horsemen spurring their - new hobbies bravely at the tail of the procession. That would be a - very simple matter; the opposition based upon the impropriety of the - female rubbing shoulders at the polls with such scurvy blackguards - as ourselves may with advantage be retired from service. Nor is it - particularly important what men and measures the women will vote for. - By one means or another Tyrant Man will have his<span class="pagenum">279</span> way; the Opposing - Sex can merely obstruct him in his way of having it. And should that - obstruction ever be too pronounced, the party line and the sex line - coinciding, woman suffrage will then and thenceforth be no more, and - the “majority” will again rule. In the politics of this bad world - majorities are of several kinds. One of the most “overwhelming” is made - up of these simple elements: (1) a numerical minority; (2) a military - superiority.</p> - - <p>If not a single election were ever in any degree affected by it, the - introduction of woman suffrage into our scheme of manners and morals - would nevertheless be one of the most momentous and mischievous events - of modern history. Compared with the action of this destructive - solvent, that of all other disintegrating agencies concerned in our - decivilization is as the languorous indiligence of rosewater to the - mordant fury of nitric acid.</p> - - <p>Lively Woman is indeed, as Carlyle would put it, “hell-bent” on - purification of politics by adding herself as an ingredient. It is - unlikely that the injection of her personality into the contention - (and politics is essentially a contention) will allay any animosities, - sweeten any tempers, elevate any motives. The strifes<span class="pagenum">280</span> of women are - distinctly meaner than those of men—which are out of all reason mean; - their methods of overcoming opponents distinctly more unscrupulous. - That their participation in politics will notably alter the conditions - of the game is not to be denied; so much, unfortunately, is obvious; - but that it will make the player less malignant and the playing more - honorable is a proposition in support of which one can utter a deal of - gorgeous nonsense with a less insupportable sense of its unfitness than - in the service of almost any other delusion.</p> - - <p>The frosty truth is that except in the home the influence of women is - not elevating, but debasing. When they stoop to uplift men who need - uplifting, they are themselves pulled down, and that is all that is - accomplished. Wherever they come into familiar contact with men who - are not their relatives they impart nothing, they receive all; they - do not affect us with their notions of morality; we infect them with - ours. In the last forty years, in this country, they have entered a - hundred avenues of activity from which they were previously debarred - by unwritten law. They are found in the offices, the shops, the - factories; like Charles Lamb’s fugitive pigs, they have run up all - manner of streets. Does any one<span class="pagenum">281</span> think that in that time there has - been an advance in professional, commercial and industrial morality? - Are lawyers more scrupulous, tradesmen more honest? When one has been - served by a “saleslady” does one leave the shop with a feebler sense - of injury than was formerly inspired by a transaction at the counter—a - duller consciousness of being oneself the commodity that has changed - hands? Have actresses elevated the stage to a moral altitude congenial - to the colder virtues? In studios of artists is the “sound of revelry - by night” invariably a deep, masculine bass? In literature are the - immoral books—the books dealing with questionable “questions”—always, - or even commonly, written by men?</p> - - <p>There is one direction in which “emancipation of woman” and - enlargement of her “sphere” have wrought reform: they have elevated - the <i>personnel</i> of the little dinner party in the “private room.” - Formerly, as any veteran man-about-town can testify if he will, the - female contingent of the party was composed of persons altogether - unspeakable. That element now remains upon its reservation; among the - superior advantages enjoyed by the man-about-town of to-day is that of - the companionship, at his dinner <i>in camera</i>, of<span class="pagenum">282</span> ladies having - an honorable vocation. In the corridors of the “French restaurant” the - swish of Pseudonyma’s skirt is no longer heard; she has been superseded - by the Princess Tap-tap (with Truckle & Cinch), by my lady Snip-snip - (from the “emporium” of Boltwhack & Co.), by Miss Chink-chink, who sits - at the receipt of customs in that severely un-French restaurant, the - Maison Hash. That the man-about-town has been morally elevated by this - emancipation of Girl from the seclusion of home to that of the “private - room” is too obvious for denial. Nothing so uplifts Tyrant Man as the - table talk of good young women who earn their own living.</p> - - <p>I do not wish to be altogether ironical about this rather serious - matter—not so much so as to forfeit anything of lucidity. Let me say, - then, in all earnestness and sobriety and simplicity of speech, what - is known to every worldly-wise male dweller in the cities, to every - scamp and scapegrace of the clubs, to every reformed sentimentalist - and every observer with a straight eye—namely, that in all the several - classes of young women in our cities who support, or partly support, - themselves in vocations that bring them into personal contact with men, - female chastity is a<span class="pagenum">283</span> vanishing tradition. In the lives of the “main - and general” of these, all those <i>desiderata</i> which have their - origin in personal purity, and cluster about it, and are its signs - and safeguards, have almost ceased to cut a figure. It is needless to - remind me that there are exceptions—I know that. With some of them I - have personal acquaintance, or think I have, and for them a respect - withheld from any woman of the rostrum who points to their misfortune - and calls it emancipation—to their need and calls it a spirit of - independence. It is not from these good girls that you will hear the - flippant boast of an unfettered life, with “freedom to develop;” nor is - it they who will be foremost and furious in denial and resentment of my - statements regarding the morals of their class. They do not know the - whole truth, thank Heaven, but they know enough for a deprecation too - deep to find relief in a cheap affirmation of woman’s purity, which is, - and always has been, the creature of seclusion.</p> - - <p>The fitness of women for political activity is not in present question; - I am considering the fitness of political activity for women. For - women as men say they are, wish them to be and try to think them, - it is unfit altogether—as<span class="pagenum">284</span> unfit as anything else that “mixes them - up” with us, compelling a communication and association that are not - social. If we wish to have women who are different from ourselves in - knowledge, character, accomplishments, manners; as different mentally - as physically—and in these and in all other expressible differences - reside all the charms that they have for us—we must keep them, or they - must keep themselves, in an environment unlike our own. One would think - this obvious to the meanest capacity, and might even hope that it would - be understood by the Daughters of Thunder. Possibly the Advanced One, - hospitably accepting her karma, is not concerned to be charming to - “the likes o’ we”—would prefer the companionship of her blue gingham - umbrella, her corkscrew curls, her epicene audiences and her name in - the newspapers. Perhaps she is content with the comfort of her raucous - voice. Therein she is unwise, for self-interest is the first law. When - we no longer find women charming we may find a way to make them more - useful—more truly useful, even, than the speech-ladies would have them - make themselves by competition. Really, there is nothing in the world - between them and slavery but their<span class="pagenum">285</span> power of interesting us; and that - has its origin in the very differences which the colonels of their sex - are striving to abolish. God has made no law of miracles and none of - his laws is going to be suspended in deference to woman’s desire to - achieve familiarity without contempt. If she wants to please she must - retain some scrap of novelty; if she desires our respect she must not - be always in evidence, disclosing the baser side of her character, - as in competition with us she must do—as we do to one another. Mrs. - Edmund Gosse, like “Ouida,” Mrs. Atherton, and all other women of - brains, thinks that the taking of unfair advantages—the lack of - magnanimity—is a leading characteristic of her sex. Mrs. Gosse adds, - with reference to men’s passive acquiescence in this monstrous folly - of “emancipation,” that possibly our quiet may be the calm before the - storm; and she utters this warning, which, also, more strongly, “Ouida” - has uttered: “How would it be with us if the men should suddenly rise - <i>en masse</i> and throw the whole surging lot of us into convents and - harems?” - </p> - - <p>It is not likely that men will “rise <i>en masse</i>” to undo the - mischief wrought by noisy protagonists of woman suffrage working<span class="pagenum">286</span> like - beavers to rear their airy fad upon the sandy foundation of masculine - tolerance and inattention. No rising will be needed. All that is - required for the wreck of their hopes is for a wave of reason to slide - a little farther up the sands of time, “loll out its large tongue, - lick the whole labor flat.” The work has prospered so far only because - nobody but its promoters has taken it seriously. It has not engaged - attention from those having the knowledge and the insight to discern - beneath its cap-and-bells and the motley that is its only wear a - serious menace to all that civilized men hold precious in woman. It is - of the nature of men—themselves cheerful polygamists, with no penitent - intentions—to set a high value upon chastity in woman. (We need not - point out why they do so; those to whom the reasons are not clear can - profitably remain in the valley of the shadow of ignorance.) Valuing - it, they purpose having it, or some considerable numerical presumption - of it. As they perceive that in a general way women are virtuous in - proportion to the remoteness of their lives and interests from the - lives and interests of men—their seclusion from the influences of - which men’s own vices are a main part—an easy and peaceful means<span class="pagenum">287</span> will - doubtless be found for repression of the shouters.</p> - - <p>In the orchestration of mind, woman’s instruments might have kept - silence without injury to the volume and quality of the music; efface - the impress of her touch upon the world, and by those who come later - the blank must be diligently sought. Go to the top of any large city - and look about and below. It is not much that you will see, but it - represents an amazing advance from the conditions of primitive man. - Nowhere in the wide survey will you see the work of woman. It is all - the work of men’s hands, and before it was wrought into form and - substance, existed as conscious creations in men’s brains. Concealed - within the visible forms of buildings and ships—themselves miracles of - thought—lie such wonder-worlds of invention and discovery as no human - life is long enough to explore, no human understanding capacious enough - to hold in knowledge. If, like Asmodeus, we could rive the roofs and - see woman’s part of this prodigious exhibition—the things that she has - actually created with her brain—what kind of display would it be? It is - probable that all the intellectual energy expended by women from first - to last would<span class="pagenum">288</span> not have sufficed, if directed into one channel, for the - genesis and evolution of the modern bicycle.</p> - - <p>“There is no sex in brain,” says the Female Militant. I beg her pardon: - there is sex in every organ, every tissue, every cell and atom of - the human body; but in nothing do men and women differ so widely, so - conspicuously, so essentially as in mind. They think after altogether - different methods; their mental processes are to a clear and competent - observation without resemblance to ours. So different is the mental - constitution of the two sexes that whereas all see not mainly with the - eye, but with the judgment, the understanding, even the outer aspect of - things is, I am persuaded, not the same to a woman that it is to a man. - I have taken some trouble to test this theory, with results of the most - interesting character, which I purpose giving to the world some day. It - is my conviction that if a man who had lived all his life in New York - were to become a woman while passing along Broadway she would be unable - to find her way home without inquiry.</p> - - <p>I once heard a woman who had playfully competed with men in a jumping - match gravely attribute her defeat to the trammeling<span class="pagenum">289</span> of her skirt. - Similarly, women are pleased to explain their penury of mental - achievement by repressive education and custom. But even in regions - where they have ever had full freedom of the quarries they have not - builded themselves monuments. Nobody, for example, is holding them from - greatness in poetry, which needs no special education, and music, in - which they have always been specially educated; yet where is the great - poem by a woman? where the great musical composition? In the grammar of - literature what is the feminine of Homer, of Shakspeare, of Goethe, of - Hugo? What female names are the equivalents of the names of Beethoven, - Mozart, Chopin, Wagner? Women are not musicians—they “sing and play.” - In short, if woman had no better claim to respect and affection than - her brain; no sweeter charms than those of her reason; no means of - suasion but her power upon men’s convictions, she would long ago have - been “improved off the face of the earth.” As she is, men accord her - such homage as is compatible with contempt, such immunities as are - consistent with control; but whereas she is not altogether filled with - light, and is, moreover, imperfectly reverent, it is but right that in - obedience to<span class="pagenum">290</span> scriptural injunction she keep silence in our churches - while we are worshipping Ourselves.</p> - - <p>She will not have it so, the good, good girl; as moral as the best of - us, she will be as intellectual as the rest of us. She will have out - her little taper and set the rivers of thought all ablaze, legging it - over the land from stream to stream till all are fired. She will widen - her sphere, forsooth, herself no wider than before. It is not enough - that we have edified her a pedestal and perform impossible rites in - celebration of her altitude and distinction. It does not suffice that - with never a smile we assure her that she is the superior sex. That she - is indubitably gifted with pulchritude and an unquestionable genius for - its embellishing; that Nature has endowed her with a prodigious knack - at accroachment, whereby the male of her species is lured to a suitable - doom—this does not satisfy her. No; she has taken unto herself in these - evil days that “intelligent discontent” which giveth its beloved fits. - To her flock of graces and virtues she must add our one poor ewe lamb - of brains. Well, I tell her that intellect is a monster which devours - beauty; that the woman of exceptional mind is exceptionally<span class="pagenum">291</span> masculine - in face, figure, action. And so, with a reluctant farewell to Lovely - Woman, I humbly withdraw from her presence and hasten to overtake the - receding periphery of her “sphere.”</p> - - <p>One moment more, mesdames: I crave leave to estop your disfavor—which - were affliction and calamity—by “defining my position” in the words - of one of yourselves, who has said of me (though with reprehensible - exaggeration, believe me) that I hate woman and love women—have an - acute animosity to your sex, adoring each individual member of it. What - matters my opinion of your understandings so long as I am in bondage to - your charms? Moreover, there is one service of incomparable utility and - dignity for which I esteem you eminently fit—to be mothers of men.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">292</span> - <h3 id="A_MAD_WORLD">A MAD WORLD</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">LET us suppose that in tracing its cycloidal curves through the - unthinkable reaches of space traversed by the solar system our planet - should pass through a “belt” of attenuated matter having the property - of dementing us! It is a conception easily enough entertained. That - space is full of malign conditions incontinuously distributed; that - we are at one time traversing a zone comparatively innocuous and at - another spinning through a region of infection; that away behind us in - the wake of our swirling flight are fields of plague and pain still - agitated by our passage through them,—all this is as good as known. It - is almost as certain as it is that in our little annual circle round - the sun are points at which we are stoned and brickbatted like a pig - in a potato-patch—pelted with little nodules of meteoric metal flung - like gravel, and bombarded with gigantic masses hurled by God knows - what? What strange adventures await us in those yet untraveled regions - toward<span class="pagenum">293</span> which we speed?—into what malign conditions may we not at any - time plunge?—to the strength and stress of what frightful environment - may we not at last succumb? The subject lends itself readily enough to - a jest, but I am not jesting: it is really altogether probable that our - solar system, racing through space with inconceivable velocity, will - one day enter a region charged with something deleterious to the human - brain, minding us all madwise.</p> - - <p>By the way, dear reader, did you ever happen to consider the - possibility that you are a lunatic, and perhaps confined in an asylum? - It seems to you that you are not—that you go with freedom where you - will, and use a sweet reasonableness in all your works and ways; but to - many a lunatic it seems that he is Rameses II, or the Holkar of Indore. - Many a plunging maniac, ironed to the floor of a cell, believes himself - the Goddess of Liberty careering gaily through the Ten Commandments in - a chariot of gold. Of your own sanity and identity you have no evidence - that is any better than he has of his. More accurately, I have none of - mine; for anything I know, you do not exist, nor any one of all the - things with which I think myself<span class="pagenum">294</span> familiarly conscious. All may be - fictions of my disordered imagination. I really know of but one reason - for doubting that I am an inmate of an asylum for the insane—namely, - the probability that there is nowhere any such thing as an asylum for - the insane.</p> - - <p>This kind of speculation has charms that get a good neck-hold upon - attention. For example, if I am really a lunatic, and the persons and - things that I seem to see about me have no objective existence, what - an ingenious though disordered imagination I must have! What a clever - <i>coup</i> it was to invent Mr. Rockefeller and clothe him with the - attribute of permanence! With what amusing qualities I have endowed my - laird of Skibo, philanthropist. What a masterpiece of creative humor - is my Fatty Taft, statesman, taking himself seriously, even solemnly, - and persuading others to do the same! And this city of Washington, with - its motley population of silurians, parvenoodles and scamps pranking - unashamed in the light of day, and its saving contingent of the - forsaken righteous, their seed begging bread,—did Rabelais’ exuberant - fancy ever conceive so—but Rabelais is, perhaps, himself a conception.</p> - - <p>Surely he is no common maniac who has<span class="pagenum">295</span> wrought out of nothing the - history, the philosophies, sciences, arts, laws, religions, politics - and morals of this imaginary world. Nay, the world itself, tumbling - uneasily through space like a beetle’s ball, is no mean achievement, - and I am proud of it. But the mental feat in which I take most - satisfaction, and which I doubt not is most diverting to my keepers, is - that of creating Mr. W. R. Hearst, pointing his eyes toward the White - House and endowing him with a perilous Jacksonian ambition to defile - it. The Hearst is distinctly a treasure.</p> - - <p>On the whole, I have done, I think, tolerably well, and when I - contemplate the fertility and originality of my inventions, the queer - unearthliness and grotesque actions of the characters whom I have - evolved, isolated and am cultivating, I cannot help thinking that if - Heaven had not made me a lunatic my peculiar talent might have made me - an entertaining writer.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">296</span> - <h3 id="THE_AMERICAN_SYCOPHANT">THE AMERICAN SYCOPHANT</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">AN American writer holds this opinion:</p> - - <p>“If republican government had done nothing else than give independence - to American character and preserve it from the servility inseparable - from allegiance to kings, it would have accomplished a great work.”</p> - - <p>I do not doubt that the writer of that sentence believes that - republican government has actually wrought the change in human nature - that challenges his admiration. He is sure that his countrymen are not - servile; that before rank and power and wealth they stand covered, - maintaining “the godlike attitude of freedom and a man” and exulting in - it. It is not true; it is an immeasurable distance from the truth. We - are as abject toadies as any people on earth—more so than any European - people of similar civilization. When a foreign emperor, king, prince or - nobleman comes among us the rites of servility<span class="pagenum">297</span> that we execute in his - honor are baser than any that he ever saw in his own land.</p> - - <p>In his blind and brutal scramble for social recognition in Europe, the - traveling American toady and impostor has many chances of success: he - is commonly unknown even to ministers and consuls of his own country, - and these complaisant gentlemen, rather than incur the risk of erring - on the wrong side, take him at his own valuation and push him in - where, his obscurity being again in his favor, he is treated with - kindly toleration and sometimes a genuine hospitality to which he has - no shadow of right nor title, and which, if he were a gentleman, he - would not accept if it were voluntarily proffered. It should be said in - mitigation that all this delirious abasement in no degree tempers his - rancor against the system of which the foreign notable is the flower - and fruit. He keeps his servility sweet by preserving it in the salt of - vilification. In the character of blatant blackguard the American snob - is so happily disguised that he does not know himself.</p> - - <p>An American newspaper once printed a portrait of her whom the - irreverent Briton had a reprehensible habit of designating colloquially - as “The Old Lady.” But the<span class="pagenum">298</span> editor in question did not so designate - her—his simple American manhood and republican spirit would not admit - that she was a lady. So he contented himself with labeling the portrait - “Her Most Gracious Majesty Queen Victoria.” This incident raises an - important question.</p> - - <p>Important Question Raised by This Incident: Is it better to be a - subject and a man, or a citizen and a flunkey?—to own the sway of a - “gory tyrant” and retain one’s self-respect, or dwell, a “sovereign - elector,” in the land of liberty and disgrace it?</p> - - <p>However it may be customary for English newspapers to designate the - British sovereign, they are at least not addicted to sycophancy in - designating the rulers of other countries than their own. They would - not say “his Abracadabral Humptidumptiness Emperor William,” nor “his - Pestilency the Speaker of the American House of Representatives.” - They would not think of calling even the most ornately self-bemedaled - American sovereign elector “his Badgesty.” Of a foreign nobleman they - do not say “his lordship;” they will not admit that he is a lord; - nor when speaking of their own noblemen do they spell “lord” with a - capital L, as we<span class="pagenum">299</span> do. In brief, when mentioning foreign dignitaries, - of whatever rank in their own countries, the English press is simply - and serviceably descriptive: the king is a king, the queen a queen, the - jack a jack.</p> - - <p>At the foundation of our political system lies the denial of hereditary - and artificial rank. Our fathers created this government as a protest - against all that, and all that it implies. They virtually declared that - kings and noblemen could not breathe here, and no American loyal to the - principles of the Revolution which made him one will ever say in his - own country “your majesty” or “your lordship”—the words would choke - him, and they ought.</p> - - <p>There are a few of us who keep the faith, who do not bow the knee - to Baäl, who hold fast to what is high and good in the doctrine of - political equality; in whose hearts the altar-fires of rational liberty - are kept aglow, beaconing the darkness of that “illimited inane” - where their countrymen, inaccessible to the light, wander witless in - the bogs of political unreason, alternately adoring and damning the - man-made gods of their own stature. Of that bright band fueling the - bale-fires of political consistency I can not profess<span class="pagenum">300</span> myself a member - in good standing. In view of this general recreancy and treason to - the principles that our fathers established by the sword—having in - constant observation this almost universal hospitality to the solemn - nonsense of hereditary rank and unearned distinction, my faith in - practical realization of republican ideals is small, and I falter in - the work of their maintenance in the interest of a people for whom - they are too good. Seeing that we are immune to none of the evils - besetting monarchies, excepting those for which we secretly yearn; - that inequality of fortune and unjust allotment of honors are as - conspicuous among us as elsewhere; that the tyranny of individuals is - as intolerable and that of the public more so; that the law’s majesty - is a dream and its failure a fact—hearing everywhere the footfalls of - disorder and the watchwords of anarchy, I despair of the republic, and - catch in every breeze that blows “a cry prophetic of its fall.”</p> - - <p>I have seen a vast crowd of Americans change color like a field of - waving grain, as it uncovered to do such base homage to a petty - foreign princess as in her own country she had never received. I - have seen full-grown, self-respecting American citizens<span class="pagenum">301</span> tremble and - go speechless when spoken to by an Emperor of Brazil. I have seen a - half-dozen American gentlemen in evening clothes trying to outdo one - another in the profundity of their bows in the presence of a nigger - King of Hawaii. I have not seen a Chinese “earl” borne in a chair - by four Americans officially detailed for the disgraceful service, - but it was done, and did not evoke a hiss of disapproval. And I did - not—thank Heaven!—observe the mob of American “simple republicans” that - dogged the heels of a disreputable little Frenchman who is a count by - courtesy only, and those of an English duke quietly attending to his - own business of making a living by being a married man. The republican - New World is no less impested with servility than the monarchical Old. - One form of government may be better than another for this purpose, - or for that; all are alike in the futility of their influence upon - human character. None can affect man’s instinctive abasement in the - contemplation of power and rank.</p> - - <p>Not only are we no less sycophantic than the people of monarchical - countries; we are more so. We grovel before their exalted personages, - and perform in addition a special<span class="pagenum">302</span> prostration at the clay feet of - our own idols—which <i>they</i> do not revere. The typical subject, - hat-in-hand to his sovereign and his nobleman, is a less shameful - figure than the citizen executing his genuflexion before the public - of which he is himself a part. No European court journal, no European - courtier, was ever more abject in subservience to the sovereign than - are the American newspaper and the American politician in flattery - of the people. Between the courtier and the demagogue I see nothing - to choose. They are moved by the same sentiment and fired by the - same hope. Their method is flattery, and their purpose profit. Their - adulation is not a testimony to character, but a tribute to power, or - the shadow of power. If this country were governed by its criminal - idiots we should have the same attestations of their goodness and - wisdom, the same competition for their favor, the same solemn doctrine - that their voice is the voice of God. Our children would be brought up - to believe that an Idiotocracy is the only natural and rational form of - government. And for my part I’m not at all sure that it would not be a - pretty good political system, as political systems go. I have always, - however,<span class="pagenum">303</span> cherished a secret faith in Smithocracy, which seems to - combine the advantages of both the monarchical and the republican idea. - If all the offices were held for life by Smiths—the senior John being - President—we should have a settled and orderly succession to allay all - fears of a perilous interregnum and a sufficiently wide eligibility to - feed the fires of patriotic ambition. All could not be Smiths, but many - could marry into the family.</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <p>The Harrison “progress” (notable as precursor to many another) left - its heritage of shame, whereof each abaser would gladly have washed - the hands of him in his neighbor’s basin. All this was in due order - of nature, and was to have been expected. It was a phenomenon of the - same character as, in the loves of the low, the squabbling consequent - upon satiety and shame. We could not slink out of sight; we could not - deny our sycophancy, albeit we might give it another name; but we - could somewhat medicine our impaired self-esteem by dealing damnation - round on one another. The blush of shame turns easily to the glow - of indignation, and<span class="pagenum">304</span> many a hatred is kindled at the rosy flame of - self-contempt. Persons conscious of having dishonored themselves are - doubly sensitive to any indignity put upon them by others. The vices - and follies of human nature are interdependent; they are not singly - roused to activity.</p> - - <p>In my judgment, this entire incident of the President’s “tour” was - discreditable to President and people. I do not go into the question - of his motive in making it. Be that what it may, the manner of - it seems to me an outrage upon all the principles and sentiments - underlying republican institutions. In all but the name it was a “royal - progress”—the same costly ostentation, the same civic and military - pomp, the same solemn and senseless adulation, the same abasement of - spirit of the Many before the One. According to republican traditions - ten thousand times a year affirmed in every way in which affirmation - is possible, we fondly persuade ourselves that we hold as a true faith - in the hearts of our hearts that the One is the servant of the Many! - And it is no mere political catchphrase: he <i>is</i> their servant; - he <i>is</i> their creature; all that in him to which they grovel - (dignifying and justifying their instinctive<span class="pagenum">305</span> and inherited servility - by names as false as anything in ceremonial imposture) they themselves - have made, as truly as the heathen has made the wooden god before - which he performs his unmanly rite. It is precisely this thing—the - superiority of the people to their servants—that constitutes, and was - by our fathers understood to constitute, the essential, fundamental - difference between the system which they uprooted and the one which - they planted in its stead. Deluded men! how little they guessed the - length and strength and vitality of the roots left in the soil of the - centuries when the noxious harvestage had been cast as rubbish to the - void!</p> - - <p>I am no contestant for forms of government—no believer in either - the excellence or the permanence of any that has yet been devised. - That all men are created equal, in the best and highest sense of the - phrase, I hold, not as I observe it held by others, but as a living - faith. That an officeholder is a servant of the people; that I am - his political superior, owing him no deference, but entitled to such - deference from him as may be serviceable to keep him in mind of his - subordination—these are propositions which command my assent, which - I <i>feel</i> to be true and which<span class="pagenum">306</span> determine the character of my - personal relations with those whom they concern. That I should give my - hand, or bend my neck, or uncover my head to any man in mere homage - to, or recognition of, his office, great or small, is to me simply - inconceivable. These tricks of servility with the softened names - are the vestiges of an involuntary allegiance to power extraneous - to the performer. They represent in our American life obedience - and propitiation in their most primitive and odious forms. The man - who speaks of them as manifestations of a proper respect for “the - President’s great office” is either a rogue, a dupe or a journalist. - They come to us out of a fascinating but terrible past as survivals - of servitude. They speak a various language of oppression and the - superstition of man-worship; they carry forward the traditions of the - sceptre and the lash. Through the plaudits of the people may be heard - always the faint, far cry of the beaten slave.</p> - - <p>Respect? Respect the good. Respect the wise. Let the President look - to it that he belongs to one of these classes. His going about the - country in gorgeous state and barbaric splendor as the guest of a - thieving corporation, but at our expense—shining and<span class="pagenum">307</span> dining and - swining—unsouling himself of clotted nonsense in pickled platitudes - calculated for the meridian of Coon Hollow, Indiana, but ingeniously - adapted to each water tank on the line of his absurd “progress,” does - not prove it, and the presumption of his “great office” is against him.</p> - - <p>Can you not see, poor misguided “fellow citizens,” how you permit your - political taskmasters to forge leg-chains of your follies and load you - down with them? Will nothing teach you that all this fuss-and-feathers, - all this ceremony, all this official gorgeousness and brass-banding, - this “manifestation of a proper respect for the nation’s head” has no - decent place in American life and American politics? Will no experience - open your stupid eyes to the fact that these shows are but absurd - imitations of royalty, to hold you silly while you are plundered by the - managers of the performance?—that while you toss your greasy caps in - air and sustain them by the ascending current of your senseless hurrahs - the programmers are going through your blessed pockets and exploiting - your holy dollars? No; you feel secure; power is of the People, and - you can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable - privilege—to<span class="pagenum">308</span> pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And - you can not even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those - designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles in - stock! But then you are not “subjects;” you are “citizens”—there is - much in that. Your tyrant is not a “king;” he is a “president.” He - does not occupy a “throne,” but a “chair.” He does not succeed to it - by inheritance; he is pitchforked into it by the boss. Altogether, you - are distinctly better off than the Russian mujik who wears his shirt - outside his trousers and has never shaken hands with the Czar in all - his life.</p> - - <h4>III</h4> - - <p>I hold that kings and noblemen can not breathe in America. When they - set foot upon our soil their royalty and their nobility fall away from - them like the chains of a slave in England. Whatever a man may be in - his own country, here he is only a man. My countrymen may do as they - please, but I make a stand for simple American manhood. I will meet - no man on this soil who expects from me a greater deference than I - could<span class="pagenum">309</span> properly accord to a citizen of my own country. My allegiance - to republican institutions is slack through lack of faith in them as - a practical system of governing men as men are; all the same, I will - call no man “your majesty,” nor “your lordship.” For me to meet in my - own country a king or a nobleman would require as much preliminary - negotiation as an official interview between the Mufti of Moosh and - the Ahkoond of Swat. The form of salutation and the style and title of - address would have to be settled definitively and with precision.</p> - - <p>With some of my most esteemed and patriotic friends the matter is more - simple; their generosity in concession fills me with admiration and - their forbearance in demand challenges my astonishment as one of the - seven wonders of American hospitality. In fancy I see the ceremony of - their “presentation,” and as examples of simple republican dignity I - commend their posture to the youth of this fair New World, inviting - particular attention to the grand, bold curves of character shown in - the outlines of the human ham.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">310</span> - <h3 id="DOG">DOG</h3> - </div> - - <h4>I</h4> - - <p class="drop-cap">OF all anachronisms and survivals the love of the dog is the most - reasonless. Because, some thousands of years ago, when we all wore - other skins than our own and sat enthroned upon our haunches, tearing - tangles of tendons from raw bones with our teeth, the dog ministered - purveyorwise to our savage needs, we go on cherishing him to this day, - when his only function is to lie sun-soaken on a door mat and insult - us as we pass in and out enamored of his fat superfluity. One dog in a - thousand earns his bread—and takes beefsteak; the other nine hundred - and ninety-nine we maintain in the style suitable to their state by - cheating the poor.</p> - - <p>The trouble with the modern dog is that he is the same old dog. Not - an inch has the rascal advanced along the line of evolution. We have - ceased to squat upon our naked haunches and gnaw raw bones, but this - companion of the childhood of the race, this vestigial<span class="pagenum">311</span> remnant of - <i>juventus mundi</i>, this dismal anachronism, this veteran inharmony - in the scheme of things, the dog, has abated no jot nor tittle of his - unthinkable objectionableness since the morning stars sang together - and he had sat up all night to deflate a lung at the performance. - Possibly he may some time be improved otherwise than by effacement, - but at present he is still in that early stage of reform that is not - inconsistent with a mouthful of reformer.</p> - - <p>The dog is a detestable quadruped. He knows more ways to be - unmentionable than can be named in seven languages. The word “dog” is - a term of contempt the world over, as in the Scriptures. Poets have - sung and prosaists have prosed of the virtues of individual dogs, but - nobody has had the hardihood to eulogize the species. No man loves the - Dog; one loves his own dog, and there stops; the force of perverted - affection can no further go. He loves his own dog partly because that - thrifty creature, ever cadging when not marauding, tickles his vanity - by fawning upon him as the visible source of steaks and bones; and - partly because the graceless beast insults everybody else, harming as - many as he dares.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">312</span></p> - - <p>The dog is an encampment of fleas, and a reservoir of sinful smells. - He is prone to bad manners as the sparks fly upward. He has no - discrimination; his loyalty is given to the person that feeds him, - be the same a blackguard or a murderer. He fights for his master - without regard to the justice of the quarrel—wherein he is no better - than a patriot or a soldier. There are men who are proud of a dog’s - love—and dogs love that kind of men. There are men who, having the - privilege of loving women, insult them by loving dogs; and there are - women who forgive and respect their canine rivals. Women, I am told, - are true cynolaters; they adore not only dogs, but Dog—not only their - own horrible little beasts, but those of others. But women will love - anything; they even love men who love dogs. I sometimes wonder how - it is that of all our women among whom the dog fad is prevalent none - has incurred the husband fad, or the child fad. Possibly there are - exceptions, but it seems to be a rule that the female heart which has - a dog in it is without other lodgers. There is not, probably, a very - wild and importunate demand for accommodation. For my part, I do not - know which is the less desirable, the tenant or the tenement. There<span class="pagenum">313</span> - are dogs that submit to be kissed by women base enough to kiss them; - but they have a secret, coarse revenge. For the dog is a joker, withal, - gifted with as much humor as is consistent with biting.</p> - - <p>Miss Louise Imogen Guiney has replied to Mrs. Meynell’s proposal to - abolish the dog—a proposal which Miss Guiney has the originality to - call “original.” Divested of its “literature,” Miss Guiney’s plea for - the defendant consists, essentially, of the following assertions: (1) - Dogs are whatever their masters are. (2) They bite only those who fear - them. (3) Really vicious dogs are not found nearer than Constantinople. - (4) Only wronged dogs go mad, and hydrophobia is retaliation. (5) - In actions for damages for dog-bites judicial prejudice is against - the dog. (6) Dogs are continually saving children from death. (7) - Association with dogs begets piety, tenderness, mercy, loyalty, and so - forth; in brief, the dog is an elevating influence: “to walk modestly - at a dog’s heels is a certificate of merit!” As to that last, if - Miss Guiney had ever had the educating good fortune to observe the - dog himself walking modestly at the heels of another dog she would - perhaps have wished that it were not the custom<span class="pagenum">314</span> of her sex to seal the - certificate of merit with a kiss.</p> - - <p>In all this absurd woman’s statements, thus fairly epitomized, there - is not one that is true—not one of which the essential falsity is not - evident, obvious, conspicuous to even the most delinquent observation. - Yet with the smartness and smirk of a graduating seminary girl refuting - Epicurus she marshals them against the awful truth that every year in - Europe and the United States alone more than one thousand human beings - die of hydrophobia—a fact which her controversial conscience does not - permit her to mention. The names on this needless death-roll are mostly - those of small folk, the sins of whose parents in cherishing their own - hereditary love of dogs is visited upon their children because these - have not the intelligence and agility to get out of the way. Or perhaps - they lack that tranquil courage upon which Miss Guiney relies to avert - the canine tooth from her own inedible shank.</p> - - <p>Finally this amusing illogician, this type and example of the female - controversialist, has the hardihood to hope that there may be fathers - who can see their children die the horrible death of hydrophobia - without wishing<span class="pagenum">315</span> “to exile man’s best ideal of fidelity from the - hearthstones of civilization.” If we must have an “ideal of fidelity” - why not find it, not in the dog that kills the child, but in the father - that kills the dog? The profit of maintaining a standard and pattern - of the virtues (at considerable expense in the case of this insatiable - canine consumer) may be great, but are we so hard pushed that we must - go to the animals for it? In life and letters are there no men and - women whose names kindle enthusiasm and emulation? Is fidelity, is - devotion, is self-sacrifice unknown among ourselves? As a model of the - higher virtues why will not one’s mother serve at a pinch? And what is - the matter with Miss Guiney herself? She is faithful, at least to dogs, - whatever she may be to the hundreds of American children foredoomed to - a death of unthinkable agony from hydrophobia.</p> - - <p>There is perhaps a hope that when the sun’s returning flame shall gild - the hither end of the thirtieth century this savage and filthy brute, - the dog, will have ceased to “banquet on through a whole year” of human - fat and lean; that he will have been gathered to his variously unworthy - fathers to give an account of his deeds done in the body of man. In - the<span class="pagenum">316</span> meantime, those of us who have not the enlightened understanding - to be enamored of him may endure with such fortitude as we can command - his feats of tooth among the shins and throats of those who have; we - ourselves are so few that there is a strong numerical presumption of - personal immunity.</p> - - <p>It is well to have a clear understanding of such inconveniences as - may be expected to ensue from dog-bites. That inconveniences and even - discomforts do sometimes flow from, or at least follow, the mischance - of being bitten by dogs, even the sturdiest champion of “man’s best - friend” will admit when not heated by controversy. True, he is - indisposed to sympathy for those incurring the inconveniences and - discomforts, but against this apparent incompassion may be offset his - indubitable sympathy with the dog. No one is altogether heartless.</p> - - <p>Amongst the several disadvantages of a close personal connection with - the canine tooth, the disorder known as hydrophobia has long held an - undisputed primacy. The existence of this ailment is attested by so - many witnesses, many of whom, belonging to the profession of medicine, - speak with a certain authority, that even the breeders and lovers - of<span class="pagenum">317</span> snap-dogs are compelled reluctantly to concede it, though as a - rule they stoutly deny that it is imparted by the dog. In their view, - hydrophobia is a theory, not a condition. The patient, even if he is - a babe, imagines himself to have it, and acting upon that unsupported - assumption or hypothesis, suffers and dies in the attempt to square his - conduct with his opinions. It seems there is firmer ground for their - view of the matter than the rest of us have been willing to admit. - There is such a thing, doubtless, as hydrophobia proper, but also there - is such another thing as pseudo-hydrophobia, or hydrophobia improper.</p> - - <p>Pseudo-hydrophobia, the physicians explain, is caused by fear of - hydrophobia. The patient, having been chewed by a healthy and harmless - dog, broods upon his imaginary peril, solicitously watches his - imaginary symptoms and finally persuading himself of their reality, - puts them on exhibition as he understands them. He runs about (when - permitted) on his hands and knees, growls, barks, howls and, in default - of a tail, wags the part of him where it would be if he had it. In a - few days he is gone before, a victim to his lack of confidence in man’s - best friend.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">318</span></p> - - <p>The number of cases of pseudo-hydrophobia, relative to those of true - hydrophobia, is not definitely known, the medical records having been - imperfectly made and never collated; champions of the snap-dog, as - intimated, believe it is many to nothing. That being so (they argue) - the animal is entirely exonerated and leaves the discussion without a - stain upon his reputation.</p> - - <p>But that is feeble reasoning; even if we grant their premises we can - not embrace their conclusion. In the first place, it hurts to be bitten - by a dog, as the dog himself audibly confesses when bitten by another - dog. Furthermore, pseudo-hydrophobia is quite as fatal as if it were a - legitimate product of the bite, not a result of the terror which that - mischance inspires.</p> - - <p>Human nature being what it is, and well known to the dog to be what - it is, we have a right to expect that the creature will take our - weaknesses into consideration—that he will respect our addiction to - reasonless panic, even as we respect his when, as we commonly do, we - refrain from attaching tinware to his tail. A dog that runs himself - to death to evade a kitchen utensil which could not possibly harm - him, and which if he did not flee would not<span class="pagenum">319</span> pursue, is the author - of his own undoing in precisely the same sense as is the victim of - pseudo-hydrophobia. He is slain by a theory. Yet the wicked boy that - set him going is not blameless, and no one would be so zealous and - strenuous in his prosecution as the cynolater, the adorer of dogs, the - person who holds them guiltless of pseudo-hydrophobia.</p> - - <h4>II</h4> - - <p>Mr. Nicholas Smith, while United States consul at Liege, wrote, or - caused to be written, an official report, wickedly, wilfully and - maliciously designed to abridge the privileges, augment the ills - and impair the honorable status of the domestic dog. In the very - beginning of this report Mr. Smith manifests his animus by stigmatizing - the domestic dog as an “hereditary loafer;” and having “hurled the - allegation,” affirms “the dawn of a (Belgian) new era” wherein the - pampered menial will loaf no more. There is to be no more sun-soaking - on door mats having a southern exposure, no more usurpation of the - warmest segment of the family semicircle, no more personal solicitation - of cheer at the domestic board. The dog’s place in<span class="pagenum">320</span> the social scale - is no longer to be determined by considerations of sentiment, but will - be the result of cold commercial calculation, and so fixed as best to - serve the ends of industrial expediency. All this in Belgium, where - the dog is already in active service as a beast of burden and draught; - doubtless the transition to that humble condition from his present and - immemorial social elevation in less advanced countries will be slow and - characterized by bitter factional strife. America, especially, although - ever accessible to the infection of new and profitable ideas, will be - slow to accept so radical a subversion of a social superstructure that - almost may be said to rest upon the domestic dog as a basic verity.</p> - - <p>The dogs are our only true “leisure class” (even our tramps are - sometimes compelled to engage in such simple industries as are possible - in the county jail) and we are justly proud of them. Dogs toil not, - neither spin, yet Solomon in all his glory was not a dog. Instead of - making them hewers of wood and drawers of water, it would be more - consonant with the Anglomaniacal and general Old World spirit, now - so dominant in the councils of the nation, to make them “hereditary - legislators.” And Mr. Smith must permit<span class="pagenum">321</span> me to add, with a special - significance, that history records an instance of even a horse making a - fairly good consul.</p> - - <p>Mr. Smith avers with obvious satisfaction that in Liege twice as many - draught dogs as horses are seen in the streets, attached to vehicles. - He regards “a gaily painted cart” drawn by “a well fed dog” and driven - by a well fed (and gaily painted) woman as a “pleasing vision.” I do - not; I should prefer to see the dog sitting at the receipt of steaks - and chops and the lady devoting herself to the amelioration of the - condition of the universe and the manufacture of poetry and stories - that are not true. A more pleasing vision, too, one endeared to eye - and heart by immemorial use and wont, is that of stranger and dog - indulging in the pleasures of the chase—stranger a little ahead—while - the woman in the case manifests a characteristically compassionate - solicitude lest the gentleman’s trousers do not match Fido’s mustache. - It is, indeed, impossible to regard with any degree of approval the - degradation to commercial utility of two so noble animals as Dog and - Woman; and if Man had joined them together by driving-reins I should - hope that God would put them asunder, even if the reins<span class="pagenum">322</span> were held - by Dog. There would no doubt be a distinct gain as well as a certain - artistic fitness in unyoking the strong-minded female of our species - from the chariot of progress and yoking her to the apple-cart or - fish-wagon, but imminence of the draughtwoman is not foreshadowed in - the report of our consul at Liege.</p> - - <p>Mr. Smith’s estimate of the number of dogs in this country at seven - millions is a moderate one, it must be confessed, and can hardly have - been based on observations by moonlight in a suburban village; his - estimate of the effective strength of the average dog at five hundred - pounds is probably about right, as will be attested by any intelligent - boy who in a campaign against an orchard has experienced detention by - the Cerberus of the place. Taking his own figures, Mr. Smith calculates - that we have in this country three-and-a-half billion pounds of “idle - dog power.” But this statement is more ingenious than ingenuous; it - gives, as doubtless it was intended to give, the impression that we - have only idle dogs, whereas of all mundane forces the domestic dog is - most easily stirred to action. His expense of energy in pursuit of the - harmless, necessary flea, for example, is prodigious; and<span class="pagenum">323</span> he is not - infrequently seen in chase of his own tail, with an activity scarcely - inferior. If there is anything worth while in accepted theories of the - conversion and conservation of force these gigantic energies are by no - means wasted; they reappear as heat, light and electricity, modifying - climate, reducing gas bills and assisting in propulsion of street cars. - Even in baying the moon and terrifying visitors and bypassers, the dog - releases a certain amount of vibratory force which through various - mutations of its wave-length may do its part in cooking a steak or - gratifying the olfactory nerve by throwing fresh perfume on the violet. - Evidently the commercial advantages of deposing the dog from his - position of Exalted Personage and subduing him to that of Motor would - not be all clear gain. He would no longer have the spirit to send, - Whitmanwise, his barbarous but beneficent yawp over the housetops, - nor the leisure to throw off vast quantities of energy by centrifugal - efforts at the conquest of his tail. As to the fleas, he would accept - them with apathetic satisfaction as preventives of thought upon his - fallen fortunes.</p> - - <p>Having observed with attention and considered with seriousness, a - respectable authority<span class="pagenum">324</span> declares his conviction that the dog, as we have - the happiness to know him, is dreadfully bored by civilization. This - is one of the gravest accusations that the friends of progress and - light have been called out to meet—a challenge that it is impossible to - ignore and unprofitable to evade; for the dog as we have the happiness - to know him is the only dog that we have the happiness really to know. - The wolf is hardly a dog within the meaning of the law, nor is the - scalp-yielding coyote, whether he howls or merely sings and plays the - piano; moreover, these are beyond the pale of civilization and outside - the scope of our sympathies.</p> - - <p>With the dog it is different. His place is among us; he is with us and - of us—a part of our life and love. If we are maintaining and promoting - a condition of things that fatigues him it is befitting that we mend - our ways lest, shaking the carpet dust from his feet and the tenderloin - steaks from his teeth, he depart from our midst and connect himself - with the enchanted life of the thrilling barbarian. We can not afford - to lose him. The cynophobes may call him a “survival” and sneer at his - exhausted mandate—albeit, as Darwin points out, they are indebted for - their<span class="pagenum">325</span> sneer to his own habit of uncovering his teeth to bite; they - may seek to cast opprobrium upon the nature of our affection for him - by pronouncing it hereditary—a bequest from our primitive ancestors, - for whom he performed important service in other ways than depriving - visitors of their tendons; but quite the same we should miss him at - his meal time and in the (but for him) silent watches of the night. - We should miss his bark and his bite, the feel of his forefeet upon - our shirt-fronts, the frou-frou of his dusty sides against our nether - habiliments. More than all, we should miss and mourn that visible - yearning for chops and steaks, which he has persuaded us to accept as - the lovelight of his eye and a tribute to our personal worth. We must - keep the dog, and to that end find means to abate his weariness of us - and our ways.</p> - - <p>Doubtless much might be done to reclaim our dogs from their uncheerful - state of mind by abstention from debate on the protective tariff; - by excluding them from the churches, at least during the sermons; - by keeping them off the streets and out of hearing when rites of - prostration are in performance before visiting notables; by forbidding - anyone to read aloud in their hearing the more phrenetic<span class="pagenum">326</span> articles in - the newspapers, and by educating them to the belief that labor and - capital are illusions. A limitation of the annual output of popular - novels would undoubtedly reduce the dejection, which could be still - further mitigated by abolition of the more successful magazines. If - the dialect story or poem could be prohibited, under severe penalties, - the sum of night-howling (erroneously attributed to lunar influence) - would experience an audible decrement, which, also, would enable the - fire department to augment its own uproar without reproach. There - is, indeed, a considerable number of ways in which we might effect a - double reform—promoting the advantage of Man, as well as medicating the - mental fatigue of Dog. For another example, it would be “a boon and a - blessing to men” if society would put to death, or at least banish, the - millman or manufacturer who persists in apprising the entire community - many times a day by means of a steam whistle that it is time for his - oppressed employees (every one of whom has a gold watch) to go to work - or to leave off. Such things not only make a dog tired, they make a - man mad. They answer with an accented affirmative Truthful James’s - plaintive inquiry,</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">327</span></p> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">Is civilization a failure,</div> - <div class="i0">Or is the Caucasian played out?</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <p>Unquestionably, from his advantageous point of view as a looker-on at - the game, the dog is justified in the conviction that they are.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">328</span> - <h3 id="THE_ANCESTRAL_BOND">THE ANCESTRAL BOND</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">A WELL-KNOWN citizen of Ohio once discovered another man of the same - name exactly resembling him, and writing a “hand” which, including - the signature, he was unable to distinguish from his own. The two men - were unable to discover any blood relationship between them. It is - nevertheless almost certain that a relationship existed, though it - may have been so remote a degree that the familiar term “forty-second - cousin” would not have exaggerated the slenderness of the tie. The - phenomena of heredity seem to me to have been inattentively noted, its - laws imperfectly understood, even by Herbert Spencer and the prophets. - My own small study in this amazing field convinces me that a man is - the sum of his ancestors; that his character, moral and intellectual, - is determined before his birth. His environment with all its varied - suasions, its agencies of good and evil; breeding, training, interest, - experience and the rest of it—have less to do with the matter and can - not<span class="pagenum">329</span> annul the sentence passed upon him at conception, compelling him - to be what he is.</p> - - <p>Man is the hither end of an immeasurable line extending back to the - ultimate Adam—or, as we scientists prefer to name him, Protoplasmos. - Man travels, not the mental road that he would, but the one that he - must—is pushed this way and that by the resultant of all the forces - behind him; for each member of the ancestral line, though dead, yet - pusheth. In one of what Dr. Holmes calls his “medicated novels,” <i>The - Guardian Angel</i>, this truth is most admirably and lucidly set forth - with abundant instance and copious exposition. Upon another work of - his—in which he erroneously affirms the influence of circumstance and - environment—let us lay a charitable hand and fling it into the fire.</p> - - <p>Clearly all a man’s ancestors have not equal power in shaping his - character. Conceiving them, according to our figure, as arranged in - line behind him and influential in the ratio of their individuality, - we shall get the best notion of their method by supposing them to have - taken their places in an order somewhat independent of chronology - and a little different from their arrangement behind his brother. - Immediately at his back, with a<span class="pagenum">330</span> controlling hand (a trifle skinny) - upon him, may stand his great-grandmother, while his father may be many - removes arear. Or the place of power may be held by some fine old Asian - gentleman who flourished before the confusion of tongues on the plain - of Shinar; or by some cave-dweller who polished the bone of life in - Bythynia and was perhaps a respectable and honest troglodyte.</p> - - <p>Sometimes a whole platoon of ancestors appears to have been moved - backward or forward <i>en bloc</i>, not, we may be sure, capriciously, - but in obedience to some law that we do not understand. I know a man to - whose character not an ancestor since the seventeenth century appears - to have contributed an element. Intellectually he is a contemporary of - John Dryden, whom naturally he reveres as the greatest of poets. There - was another who inherited his handwriting from his great-grandfather, - although trained to “the Spencerian system” that he tried vainly to - acquire. Furthermore, his handwriting followed the same order of - progressive development as that of his great-grandfather. At the age - of twenty he wrote exactly as that ancestor did at the same age, and, - although at forty-five his chirography was nothing like what it was<span class="pagenum">331</span> - even ten years before, it was accurately like his great-grandfather’s - at forty-five. Discovery of some old letters showed him how his - great-grandfather wrote, and accounted for the dissimilarity of his own - handwriting to that of any known member of his family, or his teachers.</p> - - <p>To suppose that such individual traits as the configuration of the - body, the color of the hair and eyes, the shape of hands and feet, the - thousand-and-one subtle characteristics that make family resemblances, - are transmissible, and that the form, texture and capacities of - the brain which fix the kind and degree of natural intellect, are - <i>not</i> transmissible, is illogical. We see that certain actions, - such as gestures, gait, and so forth, resulting from the most complex - concurrences of brain, nerves and muscles, are hereditary. Is it - reasonable to suppose that the brain alone of all the organs performs - its work according to its own sweet will, free from congenital - tendencies? Is it not a familiar fact that racial characteristics - are persistent?—that one race is stupid and indocile, another quick - and intelligent? Does not each generation of a race inherit the - intellectual qualities of the preceding generation? How could this be - true<span class="pagenum">332</span> of generations if it were not true of individuals? - </p> - - <p>As to stirpiculture, the intelligent and systematic breeding of men and - women with a view to improvement of the species—it is a thing of the - far future. It is hardly in sight. Yet, what splendid possibilities - it carries! Two or three generations of as careful breeding as we - bestow on horses, dogs and pigeons would do more good than all the - penal, reformatory and educating agencies of the world accomplish in - a thousand years. It is the one direction in which human effort to - “elevate the race” can be assured of a definitive, speedy and adequate - success. It is hardly better than nonsense to prate of any good coming - to the race through (for example) medical science, which is mainly - concerned in reversing the beneficent operation of natural laws and - saving the inefficient to perpetuate their inefficiency. Our entire - system of charities is open to the same objection; it preserves the - incapables whom Nature is trying to “weed out.” This not only debases - the race physically, intellectually and morally, but constantly - increases the rate of debasement. The proportion of criminals, paupers - and the several kinds of “inmates”<span class="pagenum">333</span> augments its horrible percentage - yearly. On the other hand, our wars destroy the capable; so thus we - make inroads upon the vitality of the race from two directions. We - preserve the feeble and extirpate the strong. He who in view of this - amazing folly can believe in a constant, even slow, progress of the - human race toward perfection ought to be happy. He has a mind whose - Olympian heights are inaccessible—the Titans of fact can never scale - them to storm its ancient, solitary reign.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">334</span> - <h3 id="THE_RIGHT_TO_WORK">THE RIGHT TO WORK</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">All kinds of relief, charitable or other, doubtless tend to - perpetuation of pauperism, inasmuch as paupers are thereby kept - alive; and living paupers unquestionably propagate their unthrifty - kind more diligently than dead ones. It is not true, though, that - relief interferes with Nature’s beneficent law of the survival of the - fittest, for the power to excite sympathy and obtain relief is a kind - of fitness. I am still a devotee of the homely primitive doctrine - that mischance, disability or even unthrift, is not a capital crime - justly and profitably punishable by starvation. I still regard the Good - Samaritan with a certain toleration and Jesus Christ’s tenderness to - the poor as something more than a policy of obstruction.</p> - - <p>Who is more truly “deserving” than an able-bodied man out of work - through no delinquency of will and no default of effort? Is hunger to - him and his less poignant than to the feeble in body and mind whom we - support<span class="pagenum">335</span> for nothing in almshouse or asylum? Are cold and exposure less - disagreeable to him than to them? Is not his claim to the right to live - as valid as theirs if backed by the will to pay for life with work? - And in denial of his claim is there not latent a far greater peril to - society than inheres in denial of theirs? So unfortunate and dangerous - a creature as a man able and willing to work, yet having no work to do, - should be unknown outside the literature of satire. Doubtless there - would be enormous difficulties in devising a practicable and beneficent - system, and doubtless the reform, like all permanent and salutary - reforms, will have to grow. The growth, naturally, will be delayed by - opposition of the workingmen themselves—precisely as they oppose prison - labor from ignorance that labor makes opportunity to labor.</p> - - <p>It matters not that nine in ten of all our tramps and vagrants are such - from choice, and are irreclaimable degenerates as well; so long as one - worthy man is out of employment and unable to obtain it our duty is to - provide it by law. Nay, so long as industrial conditions are such that - so pathetic a phenomenon is possible we have not the moral right to - disregard that possibility. The right<span class="pagenum">336</span> to employment being the right - to life, its denial is, in a sense, homicide. It should be needless - to point out the advantages of its concession. It would preserve the - life and self-respect of him who is needy through misfortune, and - supply an infallible means of detection of his criminal imitator, - who could then be dealt with as he deserves, without the lenity that - finds justification in doubt and compassion. It would diminish crime, - for an empty stomach has no morals. With a wage rate lower than the - commercial, it would disturb no private industries by luring away their - workmen, and with nothing made to sell, there would be no competition - with private products. Properly directed, it would give us much that we - shall not otherwise have.</p> - - <p>It is difficult to say if our laws relating to vagrancy and vagrants - are more cruel or more absurd. If not so atrocious they would evoke - laughter; if less ridiculous we should read them with indignation. Here - is an imaginary conversation:</p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Law</span>: It is forbidden to you to rob. It is forbidden to you - to steal. It is forbidden to you to beg.</p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Vagrant</span>: Being without money, and denied employment, I am - compelled to obtain<span class="pagenum">337</span> food, shelter and clothing in one of these ways, - else I shall be hungry and cold.</p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Law</span>: That is no affair of mine. Yet I am considerate—you - are permitted to be as hungry as you like and as cold as may suit you.</p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Vagrant</span>: Hungry and cold, yes, and many thanks to you; but - if I go naked I am arrested for indecent exposure. You require me to - wear clothing.</p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Law</span>: You’ll admit that you need it.</p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Vagrant</span>: But not that you provide a way for me to get it. - No one will give me shelter at night; you forbid me to sleep in a straw - stack.</p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Law</span>: Ungrateful man! We provide a cell.</p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Vagrant</span>: Even when I obey you, starving all day and - freezing all night, and holding my tongue about it, I am liable to - arrest for being “without visible means of support.”</p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Law</span>: A most reprehensible condition.</p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Vagrant</span>: One thing has been overlooked—a legal punishment - for soliciting work.</p> - - <p><span class="smcap">The Law</span>: True; I am not perfect.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">338</span> - <h3 id="TAKING_ONESELF_OFF">TAKING ONESELF OFF</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">A Person who loses heart and hope through a personal bereavement is - like a grain of sand on the seashore complaining that the tide has - washed a neighboring grain out of sight. He is worse, for the bereaved - grain can not help itself; it has to be a grain of sand and play - the game of tide, win or lose; whereas he can quit—by watching his - opportunity can “quit a winner.” For sometimes we do beat “the man that - keeps the table”—never in the long run, but infrequently and out of - small stakes. But this is no time to “cash in” and go, for you can not - take your little winning with you. The time to quit is when you have - lost a big stake, your foolish hope of eventual success, your fortitude - and your love of the game. If you stay in the game, which you are not - compelled to do, take your losses in good temper and do not whine about - them. They are hard to bear, but that is no reason why you should be.</p> - - <p>But we are told with tiresome iteration that<span class="pagenum">339</span> we are “put here” - for some purpose (not disclosed) and have no right to retire until - “summoned”—it may be by small-pox, it may be by the bludgeon of a - blackguard, it may be by the kick of a cow; the “summoning” Power (said - to be the same as the “putting” Power) has not a nice taste in the - choice of messengers. That argument is not worth attention, for it is - unsupported by either evidence or anything resembling evidence. “Put - here.” Indeed! And by the keeper of the table! We were put here by - our parents—that is all that anybody knows about it; and they had no - authority and probably no intention.</p> - - <p>The notion that we have not the right to take our own lives comes of - our consciousness that we have not the courage. It is the plea of the - coward—his excuse for continuing to live when he has nothing to live - for—or his provision against such a time in the future. If he were not - egotist as well as coward he would need no excuse. To one who does not - regard himself as the center of creation and his sorrows as throes of - the universe, life, if not worth living, is also not worth leaving. The - ancient philosopher who was asked why he did not die if, as he taught, - life was no<span class="pagenum">340</span> better than death, replied: “Because death is no better - than life.” We do not know that either proposition is true, but the - matter is not worth considering, for both states are supportable—life - despite its pleasures and death despite its repose.</p> - - <p>It was Robert G. Ingersoll’s opinion that there is rather too little - than too much suicide in the world—that people are so cowardly as to - live on long after endurance has ceased to be a virtue. This view - is but a return to the wisdom of the ancients, in whose splendid - civilization suicide had as honorable place as any other courageous, - reasonable and unselfish act. Antony, Brutus, Cato, Seneca—these - were not of the kind of men to do deeds of cowardice and folly. The - smug, self-righteous modern way of looking upon the act as that of a - craven or a lunatic is the creation of priests, philistines and women. - If courage is manifest in endurance of profitless discomfort it is - cowardice to warm oneself when cold, to cure oneself when ill, to drive - away mosquitoes, to go in when it rains. The “pursuit of happiness,” - then, is not an “unalienable right,” for it implies avoidance of pain.</p> - - <p>No principle is involved in this matter; suicide<span class="pagenum">341</span> is justifiable or - not, according to circumstances; each case is to be considered on its - merits, and he having the act under advisement is sole judge. To his - decision, made with whatever light he may chance to have, all honest - minds will bow. The appellant has no court to which to take his appeal. - Nowhere is a jurisdiction so comprehensive as to embrace the right of - condemning the wretched to life.</p> - - <p>Suicide is always courageous. We call it courage in a soldier merely to - face death—say to lead a forlorn hope—although he has a chance of life - and a certainty of “glory.” But the suicide does more than face death; - he incurs it, and with a certainty, not of glory, but of reproach. If - that is not courage we must reform our vocabulary.</p> - - <p>True, there may be a higher courage in living than in dying. The - courage of the suicide, like that of the pirate, is not incompatible - with a selfish disregard of the rights of others—a cruel recreancy to - duty and decency. I have been asked: “Do you not think it cowardly - for a man to end his life, thereby leaving his family in want?” No, - I do not; I think it selfish and cruel. Is not that enough to say - of it? Must we distort<span class="pagenum">342</span> words from their true meaning in order more - effectually to damn the act and cover its author with a greater infamy? - A word means something; despite the maunderings of the lexicographers, - it does not mean whatever you want it to mean. “Cowardice” means a - shrinking from danger, not a shirking of duty. The writer who allows - himself as much liberty in the use of words as he is allowed by the - dictionary-maker and by popular consent is a bad writer. He can make - no impression on his reader, and would do better service at the - ribbon-counter.</p> - - <p>The ethics of suicide is not a simple matter; one can not lay down laws - of universal application, but each case is to be judged, if judged - at all, with a full knowledge of all the circumstances, including - the mental and moral make-up of the person taking his own life—an - impossible qualification for judgment. One’s time, race and religion - have much to do with it. Some peoples, like the ancient Romans and - the modern Japanese, have considered suicide in certain circumstances - honorable and obligatory; among ourselves it is held in disfavor. A - man of sense will not give much attention to considerations of this - kind, excepting in so far as they affect others,<span class="pagenum">343</span> but in judging weak - offenders they are to be taken into the account. Speaking generally, - I should say that in our time and country the persons here noted (and - some others) are justified in removing themselves, and that in some of - them it is a duty:</p> - - <p>One afflicted with a painful or loathsome and incurable disease.</p> - - <p>One who is a heavy burden to his friends, with no prospect of their - relief.</p> - - <p>One threatened with permanent insanity.</p> - - <p>One irreclaimably addicted to drunkenness or some similarly destructive - or offensive habit.</p> - - <p>One without friends, property, employment or hope.</p> - - <p>One who has disgraced himself.</p> - - <p>Why do we honor the valiant soldier, sailor, fireman? For obedience to - duty? Not at all; that alone—without the peril—seldom elicits remark, - never evokes enthusiasm. It is because he faced without flinching the - risk of that supreme disaster, or what we feel to be such—death. But - look you: the soldier braves the danger of death; the suicide braves - death itself! The leader of the forlorn hope may not be struck. The - sailor who voluntarily goes down with his ship may be<span class="pagenum">344</span> picked up - or cast ashore. It is not certain that the wall will topple until - the fireman shall have descended with his precious burden. But the - suicide—his is the foeman that has never missed a mark, his the sea - that gives nothing back; the wall that he mounts bears no man’s weight. - And his, at the end of it all, is the dishonored grave where the wild - ass of public opinion</p> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">Stamps o’er his head but can not break his sleep.</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">345</span> - <h3 id="A_MONUMENT_TO_ADAM">A MONUMENT TO ADAM</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">IT is believed that every just-minded and right-feeling American will - experience a glow of gratification in the assurance that after ages - of indifference, neglect, and even contumelious disparagement, Adam - is at last to have a monument. The proposal to erect a “suitable - memorial” to the good forefather is singularly touching; in a tranquil, - business-like way it gets a tolerably firm footing in the sympathies - and sentiments of the human heart, quietly occupying the citadel of - the affections before the unready conservatisms of habit, prejudice, - and unreason can recover from their surprise to repel it. It will be - difficult for even the most impenitent obstructionist to utter himself - cogently in opposition; the promoters of the filial scheme will have - the argument as much their own way as have the promoters of temperance, - chastity, truth, and honor. The comparison is ominous, but not entirely - discouraging, inasmuch as the builders of monuments are less dependent - on “right<span class="pagenum">346</span> reason and the will of God” than the builders of character. - Stones are not laid in logic; even the men of the plains of Shinar, - desperately wrong-headed as in the light of Revelation we now perceive - them to have been, and ghastly incapable of adding an inch to their - moral stature, succeeded in piling up a fairish testimonial to their - own worth, and would no doubt have achieved the top course had it not - happened that suddenly each appeared to be of a different mind, so - that in the multitude of counselors there was little wisdom. Dr. Noah - Webster being dead—heaven rest him!—and the reporters of the press - being easily propitiated with libations of news, there is not likely to - be any tampering with the American tongue that will not be a distinct - advantage to it; so we may reasonably expect the stones of the Adamite - monument to be appropriately inscribed. Many reasons occur why this - ought to be so. Of Adam, even more than of Washington it may justly be - said that he was “first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts - of his countrymen.” In truth, he was first in everything and all round.</p> - - <p>To the patriot the plan of erecting to him a fitting memorial will - especially commend itself: it is an American, and therefore a - superior,<span class="pagenum">347</span> plan. Contrast its glossy originality with the threadbare - second-handedness of the project to import Cleopatra’s other needle! - The religious mind will not fail to discover in the proposal a kind of - special providence for the arrest and eventual overthrow of Infidelity, - against whose dark disciples it will lift a finger of permanent - admonition. Can even the most flippant scoffer look up at the reverend - pile and doubt the Mosaic account of creation? If the architect have - only the sagacity to omit the date of erection, and the subscribers - the self-denial to forego the glory of displaying their names on it, - will not posterity naturally come to think that he whose virtues it - commemorates “reposes beneath”? True, the wily scientist, alarmed for - his theory, or touched with a sentiment of filial piety as <i>he</i> - understands it, may countercheck by building a similar monument to the - recent Ourang-Outang, the remote Ascidian, or the ultimate Bathybius. - He may even have the prudent audacity to put up a stone to the memory - of that unthinkable, and therefore irrefutable, Missing Link—as the - groping pagan of antiquity with his single gleam of spiritual light - erected an altar “To the Unknown God.” If the hardy Evolutionist do - anything of this<span class="pagenum">348</span> kind it will be a clear infringement of the <i>leges - non scriptæ</i> of copyright. Justice, religion, and reason alike - will dictate the upsetting of his profane memorial with as little - compunction as the wave felt for Caliban’s designs in the sea-sand.</p> - - <p>That the Adam monument project is seriously entertained there can be no - intelligent doubt: in the list of its founders is publicly mentioned a - name which, for better or for worse, is inseparably linked with that of - the Great Progenitor—the name of Mark Twain, whose sobs at the paternal - tomb have reverberated through the world with an authenticating energy - that makes the erection of the monument a matter of comparatively - trifling importance, after all.</p> - - <p>1878.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">349</span> - <h3 id="HYPNOTISM">HYPNOTISM</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">WE are all hypnotists. Every human being has in some degree the power - to influence the thought and action of another, or some others, by - what we will consent to call “hypnotic suggestion,” though the term, - while serviceable, is inaccurate. Most of us have the power in varying - degrees of feebleness, but few know how to apply what they have of it; - but some have it so strong as to be able to control an unresisting - will. Assent, however, is not always, nor usually, to be inferred - from consent, even when consent is given in good faith; there is such - a thing as unconscious resistance. In those having no knowledge of - hypnotism, resistance is the natural attitude, for they think that - susceptibility to control implies a weak will or a low intelligence, - which is an error. At least the contrary view is supported by my own - observation; and I accept some things, despite the fact that I have - observed them to be true.</p> - - <p>The mysterious force which in its more<span class="pagenum">350</span> spectacular manifestations - we call hypnotism, and one form of which is known as “mind-reading,” - is at the back of all kinds and degrees of affection and persuasion. - Why is one person loved better than another person more worthy of - love? Because he has more “personal magnetism.” This term is an old - acquaintance; for many decades we have been using it to signify an - engaging manner. We thought it a figurative expression; that is why it - commended itself to us. But it denotes a fact with literalness; some - persons have a quality, or rather a property, which actually does draw - other persons toward and to them, as a magnet attracts steel; and it - is the same property in magnet and in man, and can be augmented by - the scientific use of apparatus. A favorite “subject” of mine when - blindfolded and turned loose in a room and commanded to find a hidden - object will sometimes fail. But she never fails if the object is a - horse-shoe magnet.</p> - - <p>Did you ever, by oral argument, convince anyone that he was wrong and - you right? Not often, of course, but sometimes, you think. If you are a - member of Congress you are very sure about it; that is what you are a - member of Congress for. I venture to believe that you never did. It was - by unconscious hypnotism<span class="pagenum">351</span> that you did the trick. Your argument (on the - cogency and eloquence of which I congratulate you) served only to hold - your victim’s attention to the matter in hand. Without it he might have - thought you wanted him to become a horse, and would indubitably have - neighed and pranced.</p> - - <p>In the Twenty-first Century, doubtless, a legislator will owe his - election to the confidence of his constituents in his ability to exert - this kind of suasion. The candidate who can not by the power of his - unaided eye compel his opponent to eat shoe-blacking and jump over a - broomstick will not have the ghost of a chance at the polls.</p> - - <p>Suppose, madam, that your husband had relied upon argument to convince - you that you ought to marry him. Of course he did have to plead long - and hard—that is conceded; but suppose that while doing so he had - always worn green spectacles. Or suppose that in all his long and - arduous courtship he had never looked you squarely (and impudently) in - the eyes—gloated upon you. I deem it certain, madam, that you would now - be the wife of a wiser man, probably a deaf mute.</p> - - <p>In our present stage of controversial progress speech is not without - a certain clumsy utility. It enables you to apprise your opponent<span class="pagenum">352</span> of - the views to which you invite his allegiance. But for the purpose of - inducing him to accept them it is destitute of effect—is not at all - superior to the plunk-plunking of a banjo, or that favorite political - argument, the braying of a brass band. Your success in convincing - another person depends upon (1) the degree of your hypnotic power, (2) - your opportunities of exerting it and (3) his susceptibility to it. In - brief, the business of converting the several kinds of heathens is a - thing which, like checking the too rapid increase of population, cannot - be done by talking. I have tried to show you how it can be done if you - have the gift. If you have not, be thankful, for you will escape much - defamation from those who believe hypnotism a kind of sorcery liable - to the basest abuses and practised only for purposes of sin. Is it - possible so to practice it? Why, yes, if I can hypnotize a thief I - can make him steal. If I can hypnotize a bad girl—but that would be - needless. Whatever in one’s normal state one is willing to do, or wants - to do, one can be made to do by hypnotic control. That is as far as the - power can go; it cannot make a sinner out of a saint, a demagogue out - of a gentleman, nor a mute out of Theodore Roosevelt.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">353</span> - <h3 id="AT_THE_DRAIN_OF_THE_WASH_BASIN">AT THE DRAIN OF THE WASH-BASIN</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">THE Prohibitionists, good souls, are funny. They are all “down upon” - license—high or low—because it is a legal “recognition” of the liquor - trade. As reasonably they might condemn fines for misdemeanor as legal - recognition of misdemeanor. Until the liquor trade is forbidden it - is legally recognized, whether licensed or not. Why can not militant - aquarians accustom themselves to think of a license fee as an <i>ante - facto</i> fine? I am not loaded down with controversial weapons for the - fray between liquor and water; I love neither the one liquid nor the - other; but I enjoy the quarrels of others, am enamored of effective - means in battle and should be miserable if I had failed to point out to - any combatant in any contention how he could obtain an honest advantage.</p> - - <p>Do I not drink water? Yes, a little—when instigated by thirst. Does - any one drink it under any other circumstances? Does any<span class="pagenum">354</span> one drink it - because he likes it?—or rather, does any one like it when not suffering - from a disagreeable disorder? We take water as medicine for the disease - thirst. It is to be considered as a remedial agent—but so vilely - compounded in nature’s laboratory and so distasteful to the normal - palate that the world in all ages has been virtually united in avoiding - it. Nothing has so stimulated human ingenuity and invited such constant - investments as the discovery, invention and manufacture of palatable - substitutes for plain water; and nothing could be more unphilosophical - than to attribute this universal movement to perversity or caprice. - Extravagant as are some of its manifestations, deplorable as are some - of its consequences, at the back of it all, as at the back of every - wide and persistent trend of human activity, is some imperious and - unsleeping necessity.</p> - - <p>Consider, if you will be so good, what “drinking-water” actually is. It - is the world’s sewage. It is what that dirty boy, the earth, has washed - his face with. The wells, rivers and rills are nature’s slop-buckets, - and the lowland springs are not much better; all soluble substances - on or near the surface of the earth eventually get into them. Melted<span class="pagenum">355</span> - mountain snow is pure enough, but by the time it reaches the lip of the - flatlander it is a solution of abomination. It is macerated man. It is - hydrate of dead dog with an infusion of all that is untidy—infested - with germs of nameless plagues, carrying ferocious anthropophagi and - loaded with mordant minerals. By many scientists it is held that age - is simply a disease caused, mainly, by cumulative deposits of lime and - other inorganic matter in the organs of the body, most of them taken in - water. If our drink were free of minerals and depeopled of its little - reptiles it is probable that we might live a thousand years and die of - the minerals and reptiles in our food—those of us who are not shot or - hanged.</p> - - <p>The protagonists of water tell us that it is the natural drink of man. - We drink it for economy, from ignorance or inattention, from hereditary - habit bequeathed to us by barbarian ancestors who had nothing else - and knew not the sacred grape. They ate beetles, too, stale fish and - one another. Were these the natural food of man? Man has no natural - food and drink; he takes what he can get. An infant race is like an - infant individual: whatever it can lay its hands on goes into its dauby - mouth.<span class="pagenum">356</span> Water, <i>pure</i> water, has one merit—it is cheap; and one - disadvantage—it is not good.</p> - - <p>Mr. Prohibitionist would like to deprive me of wine by law; not because - that would make me happier: it would make <i>him</i> happier. As long - as I cannot prevent him from trying, I fancy that I don’t wish to, and - execute a multitude of fine sentiments about the virtue of tolerance - and the advantages of free speech. But give me the power, and the first - time I catch him rolling his rebuking eye at my wineglass I will fill - up his well.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">357</span> - <h3 id="GODS_IN_CHICAGO">GODS IN CHICAGO</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">IN the death of Mr. W. J. Gunning theology incurred a serious loss. - The deceased was an intelligent and painstaking collector of gods, and - at the time of his death was in the service of the Committee on Gods, - of the “World’s Fair” in Chicago. He had already got together about - five hundred deities, some of them exceedingly powerful, and was on - his way around the world on the lookout for more. It is believed that - he would have enriched the pantheon of the fair with some singularly - fine exhibits if he had been spared, for he was a most accomplished - theologian, knew exactly where to lay his hand on any deity that he - needed in his business, and whenever he went godding was blessed (under - Providence) with a large take. He was an honest collector, a kind and - considerate provider, and left behind him a wide circle of Celestial - Powers bewailing their loss.</p> - - <p>The advantage of having a first-rate collection of gods at a world’s - fair is obvious. Hitherto the study of comparative theology<span class="pagenum">358</span> has been - beset with dispiriting difficulties, many of which will vanish in the - light that such a collection will pour upon the science. In actual - presence of the wood and stone which the heathen in his blindness - bows down to we shall be able to trace resemblances and relationships - hitherto undiscerned and even unsuspected. We shall know, perhaps, - why the religion of the Inquots is somewhat similar to that of the - Abemjees when we see (if such is the fact) that the gods of both these - widely separated tribes have availed themselves of the advantages of - the tail. We shall perhaps find the missing link between the Hindu’s - mild disposition and his adoration of the “idol of hope and slaughter.” - Better than all, we shall by actual scrutiny of the mongrel and measly - gods of other and inferior nations be confirmed in the True Faith, as - in this favored land we have the happiness to know it.</p> - - <p>That the goddery will be a point of chief attraction goes without - saying. A temple in which, satisfying the two mightiest needs of his - spiritual nature, one may both scoff and pray will have a powerful - fascination for the truly religious. There the visiting stranger from - the overseas can perform appropriate<span class="pagenum">359</span> rites before the deity of his - fathers and execute feats of contumelious disdain—short of actual - demolition—before the hideous and senseless images adored of those not - delivered from error’s chain. Even to the wicked person who has justly - incurred the ancient reproach that he “tears down but does not build - up,” the god-show will have a certain value as displaying everywhere - the kind of things he tears down and nowhere the kind he is expected - to build up—whereby he shall be put into better esteem and kicked and - cuffed with abated assiduity. There is one disquieting possibility—one - haunting thought that grows amain to apprehension: What will be the - effect of setting up a multitude of gods in a city which has not - hitherto tolerated one? It was well, though, to make the experiment, - even as a missionary measure; and if the lakeside pantheon had served - to lure the world’s pious to their financial doom the Chicagonese might - have become a profoundly religious people, attentive to pilgrims and - blandly assuring them that it was no trouble to show gods.</p> - - <p>1892.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">360</span> - <h3 id="FOR_LAST_WORDS">FOR LAST WORDS</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">THE special kind of telephone designed to be affixed to the bedside - of one who may have the bad luck to suffer from some infectious or - contagious disease is a thoughtful provision for a crying need. By - means of the instrument so placed, the patient’s friends are able to - converse to him, read and sing at him, and, in general, give him the - benefit of their society without danger of getting back more than - they bestow. The plan is of admirable simplicity and nothing could - be better—for the friends. There must be a certain satisfaction in - possessing one end of a telephone at the other end of which there is - one who cannot get away—one who has to listen to as many helloes as may - be thought good for him, and to submit to the question, “Is that you?” - when you know that it is he, as frequently as you choose to afflict - him with it. That he is heartily wishing but impotently unable to - transmit his disorder through the wire adds something to the joy of the - situation.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">361</span></p> - - <p>One of the advantages of the sick-bed telephone lies in the fact that - it can be used for preservation of “last words.” Hitherto those only - of men who died surrounded by attentive friends have had a chance of - getting before the public; those of the unfortunate infectionary, - isolated from his race and dying in a pesthouse, assisted by hireling - physicians and unsympathetic nurses, have been lost to the world. No - matter how many years of his life the patient may have been engaged in - their composition and rehearsal; no matter how “neat and opprobrious” - they were, they fell upon unappreciative ears, and were not recorded. - Under the new <i>régime</i> the patient as his fire fails may summon - his friends to the telephone, launch at them his Parthian platitude - and die in the pleasant consciousness that posterity will have profit - of his death. Whether, like Falstaff, he choose to give his remarks a - reminiscent character and “babble o’ green fields;” confine himself - to the historical method, like Daniel Webster with his memorable “I - still live;” assume the benevolent pose, and, like Charles II, urge - the survivors not to let some “poor Nelly” starve; the exclamatory, - like the late President Garfield, who, according to one Swaim, said “O<span class="pagenum">362</span> - Swaim!” and let it go at that; or the merely idiotic, like the great - Napoleon with his “<i>Tête d’armée</i>,” the faithful telephone will - be there, ready and willing to transmit (and transmute) the sentiment, - admonition, statement or whatever it may be.</p> - - <p>To persons intending to make this use of the telephone a word of - counsel may not be impertinent. As no human being, however well-eared, - ever understood the telephone until it had repeated itself a number of - times in response to his demands for more light, and as the moribund - are not commonly in very good voice, it will be wise to begin the “last - words” while there is yet a little reserve fund of life and strength - remaining, for repetition and explanation.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">363</span> - <h3 id="THE_CHAIR_OF_LITTLE_EASE">THE CHAIR OF LITTLE EASE</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">NOT many years ago, as I remember, a deal of deprecatory talk was in - evolution about a certain Governor of a Persian province, who was - said to have been boiled alive by order of the Shah. Our shouting and - shrilling in this matter were not altogether becoming, considering - whose progeny we are. It is not so very long since all the nations - of Europe practised boiling alive—commonly in oil, which was thought - to impart a fine discomfort to the person so unlucky as to be in the - cauldron. In England boiling was the legal punishment for poisoners for - a long time, beginning in 1531, in the reign of Henry VII. Among those - who suffered this discomfort was a man mentioned in the chronicle of - the Grey Friars, who was let down into the kettle by a chain until he - was done. He, however, was not boiled in oil—just plain. Some of the - items of an expense account relating to the execution of Friar Stone at - Canterbury are interesting in their homely way:</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">364</span></p> - - <p class="hang">Paid 2 men that sat by the kettle and parboiled him<span class="fright">1s</span></p> - - <p class="hang">To 3 men that carried his quarters to the gates and set them up<span class="fright">1s</span></p> - - <p class="hang">For a woman that scoured the kettle<span class="fright">2d</span></p> - - <p class="mt5">With regard to that last item one cannot repress the flame of a - consuming curiosity to know if the scouring was done before or - afterward. If afterward, the poor woman seems to have been miserably - underpaid.</p> - - <p>But call it a long time ago, protesting that the tendency to boil one - another has exhausted its impetus, or, if you please, worked itself - out of our clarifying blood. But the year 1790 is not so far back, and - burning at the stake probably generates an uneasiness to which that of - the oil-boiled gentry of the earlier period was nowise superior. It was - in the year mentioned—in the reign of his most gracious Majesty George, - the third of that name—that burning at the stake ceased to be the legal - penalty for “coining,” which was accounted “treason,” and murder of a - husband, which was “petty treason.” But wife-killers and coiners, male, - were hanged. The last woman burned alive departed this life, I think, - in 1789. Men are living to-day whose<span class="pagenum">365</span> fathers were living then and may, - as children, have played in the ashes.</p> - - <p>Still (it may be urged) it was not actually we who did it: in our - milder day we have neither the cauldron nor the stake. Ah, but we - have the dynamo. We have the custom of putting a small percentage of - our assassins into an “electrical chair” and doing them to death by - pressing a button—a process to which in defiance of two languages we - have given the name “electrocution.” For encouragement of the rising - young assassin, physicians assure us that this gives a painless death.</p> - - <p>The physicians know nothing about it; for anything they know to the - contrary, death by electricity may be the most frightful torment that - it is possible for any of nature’s forces or processes to produce. - The agony may be not only inconceivably great, but to the sufferer it - may seem to endure for a period inconceivably long. That many of the - familiar physical indications of suffering are absent (though “long, - shuddering sighs” and “straining at the straps” are not certainly - symptoms of joy) is very little to the purpose when we know that - electricity paralyzes the muscles by whose action pain is familiarly - manifested. We<span class="pagenum">366</span> know that it paralyzes all the seats of sensation, for - that matter, and puts an end to possibilities of pain. That is only to - say that it kills. But by what secret and infernal pang may not all - this be accompanied or accomplished? Through what unnatural exaltation - of the senses may not the moment of its accomplishing be commuted into - unthinkable cycles of time? Of all this the physicians can have no more - knowledge than so many toads under stones.</p> - - <p>It is probable, at least it is possible, that a “victim’s” sum of - suffering from his instantaneous pervasion with enough of the fluid - to kill him is no less than if it were leisurely rilled through him - a little faster than he could bear until he should die of it that - way. Theories of the painlessness of sudden death appear to be based - mostly upon the fact that those who undergo it make no entries of - their sensations in their diaries. It is to be wished that they would - be more thoughtful and less selfish. The man smitten by lightning, or - widely distributed by a hitch in the proceedings at a powder mill, - owes a duty to his fellow men of which he commonly appears to have but - an imperfect sense. A careful and analytic record of his sensations - at every stage<span class="pagenum">367</span> of his mischance would be a precious contribution to - medical literature. Published under some such title as <i>A Diary of - Sudden Death; by a Public-Spirited Observer on the Inside</i> it would - serve many useful purposes, and also profit the publisher. What we - most need—next to more doctors at executions—is some person having - experience of the matter, to tell us fairly in inoffensive English, - interlarded with “Soche-sorte Latin as physickers doe use,” just how it - feels to be dead all over at once.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">368</span> - <h3 id="A_GHOST_IN_THE_UNMAKING">A GHOST IN THE UNMAKING</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">BELIEF in ghosts is natural, general and comforting. In many minds it - is cherished as a good working substitute for religion; in others it - appears to take the place of morality. It is rather more convenient - than either, for it may be disavowed and even reviled without exposing - oneself to suspicion and reproach. As an intellectual conviction it - is, in fact, not a very common phenomenon among people of thought and - education; nevertheless the number of civilized and enlightened human - beings who can pass through a graveyard at midnight without whistling - is not notably greater than the number who are unable to whistle.</p> - - <p>It may be noted here as a distinction with a difference that belief - in ghosts is not the same thing as faith in them. Many men believe in - the adversary of souls, but comparatively few, and they not among our - best citizens, have any faith in him. Similarly, the belief in ghosts - has reference only to their existence, not to their virtues. They are, - indeed, commonly<span class="pagenum">369</span> thought to harbor the most evil designs against the - continuity of peaceful thoughts and the integrity of sleep. Their - malevolence has in it a random and wanton quality which invests it with - a peculiarly lively interest: there is no calculating upon whom it - will fall: the just and the unjust alike are embraced in its baleful - jurisdiction and subjected to the humiliating indignity of displaying - the white feather. And this leads us directly back to the incident by - which these remarks have the honor to be suggested.</p> - - <p>A woman living near Sedalia, Missouri, who had recently been married - alive to a widower, was once passing along a “lonely road” which had - been thoughtfully laid out near her residence. It was late in the - evening, and the lady was, naturally, somewhat apprehensive in a land - known to be infested by Missourians of the deepest dye. She was, - therefore, not in a suitable frame of mind for an interview with an - inhabitant of the other world, and it was with no slight trepidation - that she suddenly discovered in the gloom a tall figure, clad all - in white, standing silent and menacing in the road before her. She - endeavored to run away, but terror fastened her feet to the earth; to - shriek, but her lungs refused their office—the<span class="pagenum">370</span> first time that an - office was ever refused in that sovereign commonwealth. In short, to - use a neat and graphic locution of the vicinity, she was utterly “guv - out.” The ghost was tremendously successful. Unluckily it could not - hold its ghost of a tongue, and that spectral organ could accomplish - feats of speech intelligible to ears still in the flesh. The apparition - advanced upon its helpless victim and said in hollow accents: “I am the - spirit of your husband’s first wife: beware, beware!”</p> - - <p>Nothing could have been more imprudent. The cowering lady effected a - vertical attitude, grew tall, and expanded. Her terror gave place to - an intrepidity of the most military character, and she moved at once - to the attack. A moment later all that was mortal of that immortal - part, divested of its funeral habiliments, hair, teeth and whatever was - removable—battered, lacerated, gory and unconscious—lay by the roadside - awaiting identification. When the husband arrived upon the scene with - a horrible misgiving and a lantern, his worst fears were not realized; - the grave had bravely held its own; the object by the roadside was what - was left of his deceased wife’s sister. On learning that her victim - was not what she had incautiously represented<span class="pagenum">371</span> herself to be, the - victorious lady expressed the deepest regret.</p> - - <p>Such incidents as this go far to account for that strong current of - human testimony to the existence of ghosts, which Dr. Johnson found - running through all the ages, and at the same time throw a new and - significant light upon Heine’s suggestion that ghosts are as much - afraid of us as we of them. It would appear that some of the less - judicious of them have pretty good reason.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">372</span> - <h3 id="THE_TURN_OF_THE_TIDE">THE TURN OF THE TIDE</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">IN the year 1890 I wrote in the San Francisco <i>Examiner</i>, - <i>àpropos</i> of Chinese immigration:</p> - - <p>“There is but one remedy—I do not recommend it: to kill the Chinese. - That we shall not do: the minority will not undertake, nor the majority - permit. It would be massacre now; in its own good time (too late) it - will be war. We could kill the Chinese now, as we have killed the - Indians; but fifty years hence—perhaps thirty—the nation that kills - Chinamen will have to answer to China.”</p> - - <p>Twenty-one years later a Chinese warship steamed into the port of Vera - Cruz, Mexico, to back up a demand of the Chinese government for an - indemnity for a massacre of Chinese subjects. She was a little warship, - but she bore a momentous mandate, performed it and steamed away, the - world as inattentive to the event as it had been to the prophecy.</p> - - <p>Perhaps our national indifference to the portentous phenomenon came of - “use and wont;” already an American president had<span class="pagenum">373</span> been made to grovel - at the feet of a Japanese emperor, and had truculently threatened a - state of the union with war if it did not adjust its municipal laws - to the will of that Asian sovereign. Clearly, as the hope was then - expressed, “we have reached the end of Asiatic dictation”—the hither - end, unfortunately.</p> - - <p>All Asia is astir, looking East and West. Its incalculable multitudes - are learning war and navigation; and Caucasian powers—“infatuate, - blind, selfsure!”—are their tutors. Their armies are taught by European - officers, their warships are built in European and American ports. All - the military powers unite in maintaining “the integrity of China” and - in awakening her to aggression and dominance.</p> - - <p>Even if it were to our immediate interest to preserve the integrity of - the Chinese Empire a long look ahead might disclose a greater one that - would be best subserved by partition. In a single generation Japan has - performed the astonishing feat of changing civilizations. It has been, - for her, retrogression, for the civilization that she has discarded - was superior to that which she has adopted; but in one important - particular she has been the gainer by<span class="pagenum">374</span> the exchange; in the matter, - namely, of military power, and therefore political consequence. As by - a leap, she has advanced from nowhere to the position of a first-rate - power. What she has done China is doing, with this difference: China’s - advance will be to a position that will dominate the world and reduce - the foremost nations of to-day to second place. Trained by European - officers to European methods of warfare, such an army as she can - raise and equip from her four hundred millions of population will be - invincible. It may overrun Europe and extinguish Christian civilization - on that continent, which would not be a very good thing for it on this. - It was only yesterday—a little more than two hundred years ago—that - Europe came within a single battle-hazard of being an Islam dependency. - If John Sobieski had been defeated under the walls of Vienna, that - city, Berlin, Paris and London would to-day be Mohammedan capitals. - History has not exhausted its reserve of astounding events, nor have - civilizations learned the secret of stability.</p> - - <p>It is easy to affirm, in the case of China, the impossibility of any - such racial transformation as the one supposed, but fifty years ago - it<span class="pagenum">375</span> would have been easy to point out its impossibility in the case - of Japan—if any human being had had the imagination and hardihood to - suggest it. Japan has made the impossible possible, the possible a - thing to be feared. As a measure of precaution, the partition of China - merits the profoundest consideration.</p> - - <p>Actual forces at the back of a great movement are seldom apparent to - those engaged in directing it. Statesmanship is mostly a matter of - temporary expedients for accomplishment of small purposes, but if - there is to-day a really great statesman of the Caucasian race he - is considering the partition of China among European nations as an - alternative to the partition of European nations among the Chinese.</p> - - <p>Meantime we occupy ourselves with laws and treaties to “exclude” - Chinese and other inevitable Asians from our continent. Successive - relays of American statesmen wreck themselves upon the problem and go - down smiling. To some of us it is given to see that the Asian can not - be excluded—that the course of empire, having taken its way westward - until it has reached its point of departure, is turning backward, an - irresistible “tide in the affairs of men.” But what can<span class="pagenum">376</span> we do but - propose further and futile measures of “exclusion”? We supplicate our - Government to forbid us to employ our destroyers, to deny us the fruits - of our cupidity and prohibit us from bringing the hateful race here - in our own ships. Our courts, minded madwise, make in good faith the - monstrous assumption that the writ of <i>habeas corpus</i> is a right - which we, having invented it, are bound to share with races that never - heard of it. Our churches, gone clean daft in pursuit of souls never - caught and not worth the catching, pull the strings of their God to - a gesture of injunction and bid us respect the brotherhood of man. - Every moment and at all points we feel the baffling hand thrusting us - roughly down and back, while this awful invasion pours in upon us with - augmenting power.</p> - - <p>Not for an instant has the refluent wave been stayed. Every American - city has its “Chinatown,” every American village its scouts and - pioneers of the movement. On the Pacific Coast the Japanese have - a foothold everywhere, monopolizing entire industries in cities - and valleys, owning the lands that once they leased and charitably - employing their former employers. And all along the line of every - growing railway in the west may<span class="pagenum">377</span> be seen the turbaned Hindu bending to - his work and biding his time to be a “shipper.”</p> - - <p>As it is, it will be: the Oriental races are in motion westward, and - this continent is doomed to their occupancy. A higher, sterner law than - any of man’s devising is in action here. Fate has exercised the right - of eminent domain and condemned this New World to the use of ancient - races. For four hundred years the European has been wresting it from - the Indian; within one-half the time the Asian will have accomplished - its conquest from the European. There is no help for us: as we did unto - others it shall be done unto us, and the Asian shall be master here. It - is comforting to know that we shall have had a hand in our undoing; one - does not like to be a “dead-head” in any enterprise.</p> - - <p>No; we shall not kill the Chinese, nor will they “go” without - killing—nor cease to come. As surely as the sun shall rise each day, - so surely each day will his beams gild the ever advancing flag of this - irresistible migration. Beneath the feet of that mighty host the arts - and sciences of the Aryan, his laws and letters, his religions and - languages, the very body and soul of his civilization will be trampled - out of record, out of memory, out of tradition.<span class="pagenum">378</span> It is not a sunny - picture; what need to look upon it? I invite to despair; but there - stands the dear American statesman, parchment in hand—a new exclusion - law! His face shines in the dawning of another hope; in his eyes is the - morning of a new era. Between the two of us—him and me—all patriots may - be united: each with a prophet of his choice. It is clear whom ye will - choose, but I hope I don’t intrude.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">379</span> - <h3 id="FAT_BABIES_AND_FATE">FAT BABIES AND FATE</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">THE modern Baby Show is a fruitful source of mischief—a degenerate - successor to that ancient display whose beneficent purpose was to - ascertain what ailing or deformed or merely puny infants might most - advantageously be flung off a cliff. The object of the modern Baby Show - is not improvement of the race by assisting Nature in “weeding out,” - nor is such the practical result. Prizes, we are told, are commonly - bestowed by a committee of matrons, and necessarily fall to the fattest - exhibit. In the matron’s ideal “scale of being” the pudgiest, the most - orbicular, babe holds the summit place, the first adiposition, so to - speak.</p> - - <p>This is not as it should be; no true improvement in the race can be - effected by encouraging our young to bury their noses in their cheeks - and their knuckles under a mass of tissues overlying them like a - boxing-glove. The prize winners do not become better men and women than - their unsuccessful but more deserving competitors; while the latter, - beginning<span class="pagenum">380</span> life in the shadow of a great disappointment, retain to the - end of their days a sharp sense of injustice incompatible with warm and - elevated sentiments. The effect on the characters of the beaten mothers - is even more deplorable. Every mother of a defeated babe is convinced - that her exhibit is incomparably superior, physically, intellectually - and morally, to the roly-poly impostors honored by the committee - of matrons. Her wrath at the unjust decision is deep, constant and - lasting; it embitters her life, sours her temper and spoils her beauty. - As to the fathers, the only discernible effect upon them of either - winning or losing is to make them a trifle more ashamed of their - offspring than they were before. “The proud and happy father” had never - the advantage of existing outside the female imagination, but if he - really existed the Baby Show would be fatal to both his pride and his - happiness.</p> - - <p>In enumerating the manifold mischiefs that fly from that Pandora’s-box, - the Baby Show, we are perhaps not justified in mentioning the - desolating effect upon the committee of matrons whose action springs - the lid. It is doubtful if the disasters which themselves incur can - rightly be rated as evils in the larger sense of<span class="pagenum">381</span> the word; and, - anyhow, the nature of these is imperfectly known; for after making - their award the unhappy arbiters commonly vanish from the busy haunts - of women. The places which knew them know them no more forever, and - their fate is involved in obscurities pervious only to conjecture. - In view of this regrettable but apparently inevitable fact, it is - desirable (if the Baby Show cannot be averted) that the lady judges be - selected early, in order that our citizens may bestow upon them before - they are taken from us some suitable testimonial of public esteem and - gratitude, attesting the popular sense of their heroism in accepting - the fatal distinction.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">382</span> - <h3 id="CERTAIN_AREAS_OF_OUR_SEAMY_SIDE">CERTAIN AREAS OF OUR SEAMY SIDE</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">THE thrifty person who attends, uninvited, a wedding reception and, - retiring early from the festivities, leaves the unhappy couple poorer - by a few unconsidered trifles of jewelry has a just claim to the - gratitude of mankind. The interests of justice demand his immunity - from detection: the officer who shall molest him is <i>hostis humani - generis</i>. Neither grave rebuke nor ridicule has sufficed to - overcome and stamp out the vulgar custom of ostentatiously displaying - wedding presents, with names of givers attached; perhaps it will - yield to the silent suasion of the sneak-thief. To healthy and honest - understandings—that is to say, to the understandings of this present - writer and those who have the intelligence to think as he does—it - is but faintly conceivable how self-respecting persons can do this - thing. Display of any kind is necessarily repugnant to those tastes - which distinguish the well-bred from those whose worth is of another - sort. Among<span class="pagenum">383</span> the latter we are compelled (reluctantly) to reckon those - amiable beings who display coats-of-arms, crests and the like, whether - they are theirs by inheritance, purchase or invention; those, we mean, - who blazon them about in conspicuous places for the obvious purpose - of declaring with emphasis whatever merits and advantages may inhere - in their possession. In this class, also, we must place the excellent - ladies and gentlemen who “boast” their descent from illustrious, or - merely remote, ancestors. (The remoter the ancestor—that is to say, the - less of his blood his descendant has—the greater that funny person’s - pride in the distinction.) A person of sense would be as likely to - direct attention to his own virtues as to those of his forefathers; - a woman of modesty, to her own beauty or grace as to the high social - position of her grandmother.</p> - - <p>Nay, we must carry our condemnation to an even greater extreme. The - man who on public occasions covers his breast with decorations, the - insignia of orders, the badges of high service or of mere distinction - such as results from possession of the badge, is guilty of immodesty. - “Why do you not wear your Victoria Cross?” the only recipient of it - who ever failed to wear it was asked. “When I wish<span class="pagenum">384</span> people to know how - valiant I am in battle,” was the reply, “I will tell them.”</p> - - <p>But below this lowest deep of vanity there is a lower deep of - cupidity—and something more. The custom of displaying wedding presents - duly labeled with the givers’ names and publishing the list in the - newspapers supplies a very “genteel” method of extortion to those who - have conscientious scruples against highway robbery. That extortion is - very often the conscious intent I am far from affirming; but that such - is the practical effect many a reader inadequately provided with this - world’s goods will pause at this point feelingly to aver. But he is - a lofty soul indeed if at the next silent demand he do not stand and - deliver as meekly as heretofore. Looked at how one may please, it is - a bad business, not greatly superior in point of morality to that of - the sneak-thief who is one of its perils, and with whose intelligent - activity its existence may, one hopes, become in time altogether - incompatible.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">385</span> - <h3 id="FOR_BREVITY_AND_CLARITY">FOR BREVITY AND CLARITY</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">MR. GEORGE R. SIMS once “invited proposals” for a brief and convenient - name for the misdemeanor known in England as “traveling in a class - of railway carriage superior to that for which the defendant had - taken a ticket.” It is a ludicrous fact that the offense has never - had another name, nor is it quite easy to invent a better one - off-hand. I should like to know what it is in Esperanto. We have in - this country certain clumsy phrases which might advantageously be - condensed into single words. For example, to “join in the holy bonds - of wedlock” might become to “jedlock.” The society editor would be - spared much labor if he could say of the unhappy couple that they were - “jedlocked,” or “lemaltared,”—the latter word meaning, of course, “led - to the matrimonial altar.” Many of the ordinary reporter’s favorite - expressions could be treated in the same practical fashion. The - familiar “much-needed rest” would become simply “mest.”<span class="pagenum">386</span> The “devouring - element” would be “delement,” and have done with it. When it is, as - so very frequently it is, necessary to say that something “reflects - credit” on somebody, the verb “to refledit” would serve an honorable - and useful purpose. Instead of writing of a man freshly dead that he - was “much esteemed by all who knew him,” we should say that he was - “mestewed.” By such simple and rational devices as these the language - would be notably improved, and in a newspaper report of the birth of a - rich man’s child a few lines could be saved for the death of a poet.</p> - - <p>As the words “not either” have been condensed into “neither,” “not - ever” into “never” and “no one” into “none,” why should not the - negative or privative, when followed by a vowel, be always compounded - in the same way? For example, “neven” for “not even,” “nin” and “nout” - for “not in” and “not out.” “Nirish” for “no Irish,” and so forth. - Nay, it is not necessary that a vowel follow the negative: “no Popery” - could be “nopery,” “no matter,” “natter,” and “never-to-be-forgotten,” - “notten,” or “netten.” The principle is pregnant with possibilities.</p> - - <p>While reforming the language I crave leave<span class="pagenum">387</span> to introduce an improvement - in punctuation—the snigger point, or note of cachinnation. It is - written thus ◡ and represents, as nearly as may be, a smiling mouth. - It is to be appended, with the full stop, to every jocular or ironical - sentence; or, without the stop, to every jocular or ironical clause of - a sentence otherwise serious—thus: “Mr. Edward Bok is the noblest work - of God ◡.” “Our respected and esteemed ◡ contemporary, Mr. Slyvester - Vierick, whom for his virtues we revere and for his success envy ◡, is - going to the devil as fast as his two heels can carry him.” “Deacon - Harvey, a truly good man ◡, is self-made in the largest sense of the - term; for although he was born great, wise and rich, the deflection of - his nose is the work of his own coat-sleeve.”</p> - - <p>To many a great writer the new point will be as useful as was the - tail to his unlettered ancestor. By a single stroke of his pen at - the finish, the illustrious humorist who reviews books for <i>The - Nation</i> can give to his dismalist plagiarism from Mulgrub’s - <i>Theory of Quaternions</i> all the charm and value of a lively - personal anecdote, as he would relate it. By liberally sprinkling - his literary criticism with it, Dr. Hamilton W. Mabie can give<span class="pagenum">388</span> to - the work a lilt and vivacity that will readily distinguish it from a - riding-master’s sermon on the mount; the points will apprise his reader - of a humorous intention not otherwise observable as a factor in the - humorous effect. Embellished with this useful mark, even the writings - of that sombre soul, Mr. John Kendrick Bangs, will have a quality that - will at least prevent the parsons from reading them at the graveside as - passages from the burial service.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">389</span> - <h3 id="GENIUS_AS_A_PROVOCATION">GENIUS AS A PROVOCATION</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">IN his own honorable tongue Mr. Yoni Noguchi is, I dare say, a poet; - in ours he is a trifle unintelligible. His English prose, too, is of - a kind that one does not write if one has a choice in the matter, yet - sometimes Mr. Noguchi thinks in it with clarity and point. Concerning - the late Lafcadio Hearn and the little tempest that was roaring round - that author’s life and character, Mr. Noguchi wrote:</p> - - <p>“It is perfectly appalling to observe in the Western countries that - when one dies his friends have to rush to print his private letters, - and even an unexpected person volunteers to speak as his best friend, - and presumes to write his biography.”</p> - - <p>No, this is not good prose (barring the “unexpected person,” which is - delicious) but it is obvious truth and righteous judgment. Publication - of letters not written for publication is <i>prima facie</i> evidence - of moral delinquency in the offender. In doing this thing he supplies - the strongest presumption against<span class="pagenum">390</span> himself. The burden of proof is - heavy upon him; he is to be held guilty unless he can support it with - positive evidence of a difficult thing to prove—an untainted intention - not related to gain, glory nor gratification of a public appetite - to which there is no honorable purveyance. No evidence less valid - than written permission obviously covering the particular letters - published is acceptable. In all the instances that I have observed this - credential is wanting. True, the scope of my observation is somewhat - narrow, for I would no more read a dead man’s private correspondence - in a book than I would break open his desk to obtain it. From a woman - related to a famous poet and critic then recently deceased I had once a - request for any letters that I might have from him. The lady said that - she wanted them for his biography, already in course of preparation. - The letters related to literary matters only, but as the lady submitted - no authorization from their writer for their publication I civilly - refused and took the consequences—there were consequences. Whether or - not my part of the correspondence appeared in the book I shall not know - unless told.</p> - - <p>The family of a man of genius and renown<span class="pagenum">391</span> may be pretty confidently - trusted to make him ridiculous in life with their clumsy tongues, and - after death with their thrifty pens. I think there was never a man of - genius whom all his relatives excepting his immediate offspring did - not, while jealous of his fame, secretly regard as a fool. (Even the - brothers of Jesus of Nazareth did not “believe on him,” and to some of - us who are immune to legends of the Church it is given to know that his - mother was of their way of thinking.) Dumbly resenting the distinction - that seems to accentuate their own obscurity, these worthies are - nevertheless keen to shine by the growing light of his posthumous fame, - if he have it, and to profit by it too, as are his more appreciative - children and children’s children, usually dullards and dolts to the - thirteenth and fourteenth generation. His death is the opportunity of - all. Some of them are very sure to crucify the body of him and thrust a - pen into his side to show that his blood is the same as their own.</p> - - <p>A most disagreeable instance of this most disagreeable practice is that - of a son of Robert Browning, who has won literary renown and popular - commendation by publishing his parents’ love-letters. Doubtless he is - proud of<span class="pagenum">392</span> his work, but in the eyes of his sainted father, I fear, - he is one of Mr. Noguchi’s “unexpected persons,” at least in the - sense that he is not expected in Paradise. Another and more recent - illustration is the book <i>My Soldier</i>, the sanguinary work of a - wife. Observe with what celerity the forehanded family of Tennyson - “improved the occasion” of his passing. The poor man was hardly cold - before they thrust a volume of Shakspeare into his dead hand, clove it - with his finger at a significant passage chosen by a domestic council, - admitted a consistent ray of moonshine into the death chamber and - invited the world to witness the edifying show. So the man who wrote</p> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">Sunset and evening star,</div> - <div class="i0">And one clear call for me</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <p class="noindent">was made to seem to “pass out to sea” in an impressive pose, - appropriately spectacular and dramatically ridiculous.</p> - - <p>If there is a Better Land it is where a great man can grow up from the - ground like a tree, without human agency, get on without a friend, - write no letters and leave no name at which himself grew pale, to point - a lying anecdote or tale.</p> - - <p><span class="pagenum">393</span></p> - - <p>To the perils herein pointed out authors are peculiarly exposed. The - world has apparently agreed that he who writes for publication shall - write for nothing else. I have heard men of decent life and social - repute gravely defend the thesis that the public has a <i>right</i> to - all that an author has written; and as his letters are likely to be - rather more interesting than those of one who works at another trade, - they are held to have a value disproportionate to the mere fame of - their writer. We all concede the virtue of abstention from theft of a - paste jewel, but a real diamond!—that is another matter.</p> - - <p>The people are not pigs; the author of their favorite personal letters - need not have a great personal renown. If he has uttered a sufficient - body of private correspondence they are willing to forgive him for - their inattention to his public work. Their purveyors are even more - liberal in the matter: they do not insist on an excellent epistolary - style nor anything of that kind. An intimate “human document” in ailing - syntax is quite as available for their purpose as one baring the heart - of a grammarian. <i>The Filial Correspondence of George Ade</i> is - foredoomed to as sharp a competition among dealers as <i>The Love - Letters<span class="pagenum">394</span> of Professor Harry Thurston Peck, Stylist.</i></p> - - <p>It may be thought that all this is a cry from the deep and dark of a - great fear. Not so; since I became a public writer I have never engaged - in a correspondence in which it has not been distinctly understood - that my letters were never to be printed. Only through an impossible - treachery can the public ever have the happiness and profit of reading - them. As to love-letters I am clean-handed: all mine have been written - in honorable payment for favors and, as Conscience is my willing - witness, I never meant one word of them.</p> - - <hr class="chap" /> - <div class="chapter"> - <span class="pagenum">395</span> - <h3 id="A_BIVOUAC_OF_THE_DEAD">A BIVOUAC OF THE DEAD</h3> - </div> - - <p class="drop-cap">AWAY up in the heart of the Allegheny mountains, in Pocahontas county, - West Virginia, is a beautiful little valley through which flows - the east fork of the Greenbrier river. At a point where the valley - road intersects the old Staunton and Parkersburg turnpike, a famous - thoroughfare in its day, is a post office in a farm house. The name of - the place is Travelers’ Repose, for it was once a tavern. Crowning some - low hills within a stone’s throw of the house are long lines of old - Confederate fortifications, skilfully designed and so well “preserved” - that an hour’s work by a brigade would put them into serviceable shape - for the next civil war. This place had its battle—what was called a - battle in the “green and salad days” of the great rebellion. A brigade - of Federal troops, the writer’s regiment among them, came over Cheat - mountain, fifteen miles to the westward, and, stringing its lines - across the little valley, felt the enemy all day; and the enemy did a - little feeling, too. There was a great cannonading, which killed<span class="pagenum">396</span> about - a dozen on each side; then, finding the place too strong for assault, - the Federals called the affair a reconnaissance in force, and burying - their dead withdrew to the more comfortable place whence they had come. - Those dead now lie in a beautiful national cemetery at Grafton, duly - registered, so far as identified, and companioned by other Federal dead - gathered from the several camps and battlefields of West Virginia. The - fallen soldier (the word “hero” appears to be a later invention) has - such humble honors as it is possible to give.</p> - - <div class="center-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="i0">His part in all the pomp that fills</div> - <div class="i0">The circuit of the Summer hills</div> - <div class="i2">Is that his grave is green.</div> - </div> - </div> - </div> - - <p>True, more than a half of the green graves in the Grafton cemetery - are marked “Unknown,” and sometimes it occurs that one thinks of the - contradiction involved in “honoring the memory” of him of whom no - memory remains to honor; but the attempt seems to do no great harm to - the living, even to the logical.</p> - - <p>A few hundred yards to the rear of the old Confederate earthworks is a - wooded hill. Years ago it was not wooded. Here, among<span class="pagenum">397</span> the trees and - in the undergrowth, are rows of shallow depressions, discoverable by - removing the accumulated forest leaves. From some of them may be taken - (and reverently replaced) small thin slabs of the split stone of the - country, with rude and reticent inscriptions by comrades. I found only - one with a date, only one with full names of man and regiment. The - entire number found was eight.</p> - - <p>In these forgotten graves rest the Confederate dead—between eighty and - one hundred, as nearly as can be made out. Some fell in the “battle;” - the majority died of disease. Two, only two, have apparently been - disinterred for reburial at their homes. So neglected and obscure in - this <i>campo santo</i> that only he upon whose farm it is—the aged - postmaster of Travelers’ Repose—appears to know about it. Men living - within a mile have never heard of it. Yet other men must be still - living who assisted to lay these Southern soldiers where they are, and - could identify some of the graves. Is there a man, North or South, - who would begrudge the expense of giving to these fallen brothers the - tribute of green graves? One would rather not think so. True, there - are several hundreds of such places still discoverable in the track of - the great war. All the<span class="pagenum">398</span> stronger is the dumb demand—the silent plea of - these fallen brothers to what is “likest God within the soul.”</p> - - <p>They were honest and courageous foemen, having little in common with - the political madmen who persuaded them to their doom and the literary - bearers of false witness in the aftertime. They did not live through - the period of honorable strife into the period of vilification—did - not pass from the iron age to the brazen—from the era of the sword to - that of the tongue and pen. Among them is no member of the Southern - Historical Society. Their valor was not the fury of the non-combatant; - they have no voice in the thunder of the civilians and the shouting. - Not by them are impaired the dignity and infinite pathos of the Lost - Cause. Give them, these blameless gentlemen, their rightful part in all - the pomp that fills the circuit of the summer hills.</p> - - <p>1903.</p> - - <div class="transnote mt5"> - <div class="large center mb2"><b>Transcriber’s Notes:</b></div> - <ul class="spaced"> - <li>Blank pages have been removed.</li> - <li>A few obvious typographical errors have been silently corrected.</li> - </ul> - </div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COLLECTED WORKS OF AMBROSE BIERCE, VOLUME 11 ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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