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diff --git a/old/7sgnl10.txt b/old/7sgnl10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..73f9fb4 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/7sgnl10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1777 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Sganarelle, by Moliere +#14 in our series by Moliere + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Sganarelle + or The Self-Deceived Husband + +Author: Moliere + +Release Date: October, 2004 [EBook #6681] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on January 12, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SGANARELLE *** + + + + +Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + +SGANARELLE; OU, LE COCU IMAGINAIRE + +COMEDIE EN UN ACTE. + + * * * * * + +SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND. + +A COMEDY IN ONE ACT. + +(_THE ORIGINAL IN VERSE_.) + +28TH MAY, 1660. + + + + + + +INTRODUCTORY NOTICE. + +Six months after the brilliant success of the _Precieuses +Ridicules_, Moliere brought out at the Theatre du Petit-Bourbon a new +comedy, called _Sganarelle, ou le Cocu Imaginaire_, which I have +translated by _Sganarelle, or the self-deceived Husband_. It has +been said that Moliere owed the first idea of this piece to an Italian +farce, _Il Ritratto ovvero Arlichino cornuto per opinione_, but, as +it has never been printed, it is difficult to decide at the present time +whether or not this be true. The primary idea of the play is common to +many _commedia dell' arte_, whilst Moliere has also been inspired +by such old authors as Noel Du Fail, Rabelais, those of the _Quinze +joyes de Mariage_, of the _Cent nouvelles Nouvelles_, and +perhaps others. + +The plot of _Sganarelle_ is ingenious and plausible; every trifle +becomes circumstantial evidence, and is received as conclusive proof +both by the husband and wife. The dialogue is sprightly throughout, and +the anxious desire of Sganarelle to kill his supposed injurer, whilst +his cowardice prevents him from executing his valorous design, is +extremely ludicrous. The chief aim of our author appears to have been to +show how dangerous it is to judge with too much haste, especially in +those circumstances where passion may either augment or diminish the +view we take of certain objects. This truth, animated by a great deal of +humour and wit, drew crowds of spectators for forty nights, though the +play was brought out in summer and the marriage of the young king kept +the court from Paris. + +The style is totally different from that employed in the _Precieuses +Ridicules_, and is a real and very good specimen of the _style +gaulois_ adapted to the age in which Moliere lived. He has often been +blamed for not having followed up his success of the _Precieuses +Ridicules_ by a comedy in the same style, but Moliere did not want to +make fresh enemies. It appears to have been a regular and set purpose +with him always to produce something farcical after a creation which +provoked either secret or open hostility, or even violent opposition. + +Sganarelle appears in this piece for the first time, if we except the +farce, or rather sketch, of the _Medecin volant_, where in reality +nothing is developed, but everything is in mere outline. But in +Sganarelle Moliere has created a character that is his own just as much +as Falstaff belongs to Shakespeare, Sancho Panza to Cervantes, or +Panurge to Rabelais. Whether Sganarelle is a servant, a husband, the +father of Lucinde, the brother of Ariste, a guardian, a faggot-maker, +a doctor, he always represents the ugly side of human nature, an +antiquated, grumpy, sullen, egotistical, jealous, grovelling, frightened +character, ever and anon raising a laugh on account of his boasting, +mean, morose, odd qualities. Moliere was, at the time he wrote +_Sganarelle_, more than thirty years old, and could therefore +no longer successfully represent Mascarille as the rollicking servant +of the _Blunderer_. + +This farce was published by a certain Mr. Neufvillenaine, who was so +smitten by it that, after having seen it represented several times, he +knew it by heart, wrote it out, and published it, accompanied by a +running commentary, which is not worth much, and preceded by a letter to +a friend in which he extols its beauties. Moliere got, in 1663, his name +inserted, instead of that of Neufvillenaine, in the _privilege du +roi_. + +Mr. Henry Baker, the translator of this play, in the "Select Comedies of +M. de Moliere, London, 1732," oddly dedicates it to Miss Wolstenholme +[Footnote: I suppose the lady was a descendant of Sir John Wolstenholme, +mentioned in one of the notes of Pepy's Diary, Sept. 5, 1662, as created +a baronet, 1664, an intimate friend of Lord Clarendon's, and collector +outward for the Port of London--ob. 1679.] in the following words:-- + +MADAM, + +Be so good to accept this little Present as an Instance of my high +Esteem. Whoever has any Knowledge of the French Language, or any Taste +for COMEDY, must needs distinguish the Excellency of _Moliere's_ +Plays: one of which is here translated. What the _English_ may be, +I leave others to determine; but the ORIGINAL, which you receive along +with it, is, I am certain, worthy your Perusal. + +Tho' what You read, at present, is called a DEDICATION, it is, perhaps, +the most unlike one of any thing You ever saw: for, You'll find not one +Word, in Praise, either of Your blooming Youth, Your agreeable Person, +Your genteel Behaviour, Your easy Temper, or Your good Sense... and, the +Reason is, that I cannot for my Life bring myself to such a Degree of +Impertinence, as to sit down with a solemn Countenance, and Take upon me +to inform the World, that the Sun is bright, and that the Spring is +lovely. + +My Knowledge of You from Your Infancy, and the many Civilities I am +obliged for to Your Family, will, I hope, be an Excuse for this +Presumption in, + +MADAM, _Your most obedient humble servant_ + +H. B. + +Enfield, + +Jan. 1st 1731-2. + + +This play seems to have induced several English playwrights to imitate +it. First, we have Sir William D'Avenant's _The Playhouse to be +Let_, of which the date of the first performance is uncertain. +According to the Biographia Britannica, it was "a very singular +entertainment, composed of five acts, each being a distinct performance. +The first act is introductory, shows the distress of the players in the +time of vacation, that obliges them to let their house, which several +offer to take for different purposes; amongst the rest a Frenchman, who +had brought over a troop of his countrymen to act a farce. This is +performed in the second act, which is a translation of Moliere's +_Sganarelle, or the Cuckold Conceit_; all in broken French to make +the people laugh. The third act is a sort of comic opera, under the +title of The History of Sir Francis Drake. The fourth act is a serious +opera, representing the cruelties of the Spaniards in Peru. The fifth +act is a burlesque in Heroicks on the Amours of Caesar and Cleopatra, has +a great deal of wit and humour, and was often acted afterwards by +itself." + +With the exception of the first act, all the others, which are separate +and distinct, but short dramatic pieces, were written in the time of +Oliver Cromwell, and two of them at least were performed at the Cockpit, +when Sir William D'Avenant had obtained permission to present his +entertainments of music and perspective in scenes. + +The second imitation of _Sganarelle_ is "_Tom Essence, or the +Modish Wife_, a Comedy as it is acted at the Duke's Theatre, 1677. +London, printed by T. M. for W. Cademan, at the _Pope's Head_, in +the Lower Walk of the _New Exchange_ in the _Strand_, 1677." +This play is written by a Mr. Thomas Rawlins, printer and engraver to +the Mint, under Charles the First and Second, and is founded on two +French comedies---viz., Moliere's _Sganarelle_, and Thomas +Corneille's _Don Cesar d' Avalos_. The prologue is too bad to be +quoted, and I doubt if it can ever have been spoken on any stage. This +play is written partly in blank verse, partly in prose; though very +coarse, it is, on the whole, clever and witty. Old Moneylove, a +credulous fool, who has a young wife (Act ii., Scene I), reminds one at +times of the senator Antonio in Otway's _Venice Preserved_, and is, +of course, deceived by the gallant Stanley; the sayings and doings of +Mrs. Moneylove, who is "what she ought not to be," and the way she +tricks her husband, are very racy, perhaps too much so for the taste of +the present times. I do not think any dramatist would now bring upon the +stage a young lady like Theodocia, daughter of old Moneylove, reading +the list about Squire Careless. Tom Essence is a seller of perfumes, a +"jealous coxcomb of his wife;" and Courtly is "a sober gentleman, +servant to Theodocia;" these are imitations of Sganarelle and Lelio. +Loveall, "a wilde debaucht blade," and Mrs. Luce, "a widdow disguis'd, +and passes for Theodocia's maid," are taken from Corneille. + +In the epilogue, the whole of which cannot be given, Mrs, Essence speaks +the following lines: + + "But now methinks a Cloak-Cabal I see, + Whose Prick-ears glow, whilst they their Jealousie + In _Essence_ find; but Citty-Sirs, I fear, + Most of you have more cause to be severe. + We yield you are the truest Character." + + +Nearly all the scenes imitated in this play from Moliere's +_Sganarelle_ contain nothing which merits to be reproduced. + +_The Perplexed Couple, or Mistake upon Mistake_, as it is acted at +the New Theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields, by the Company of Comedians, +acting under Letters Patent granted by King Charles the Second. London, +Printed for _W. Meares_ at the _Lamb_, and _F. Brown_, at +the _Black Swan_ without _Temple Bar_, 1715, is the third +imitation of Moliere's _Sganarelle_. This comedy, printed for two +gentlemen, with zoological signs, was written by a Mr. Charles Molloy, +who for a long time was the editor of a well-known paper, _Common +Sense_, in defence of Tory principles. This play had little success, +and deserved to have had none, for it has no merit whatever. Our author +states in the prologue:-- + + "The injur'd Muses, who with savage Rage, + Of late have often been expell'd a Tyrant Stage, + Here fly for Refuge; where, secure from Harms, + By you protected, shall display their Charms... + No Jest profane the guilty scene deforms, + That impious way of being dull he scorns; + No Party Cant shall here inflame the Mind, + And poison what for Pleasure was designed." + + +Mr. Molloy admits in the preface that "the Incident of the Picture in +the Third act, something in the Fourth, and one Hint in the last Act, +are taken from the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the rest I'm forced to +subscribe to myself, for I can lay it to no Body else." I shall only +remark on this, that nearly the whole play is a mere paraphrasing of +Moliere's _Cocu Imaginaire_, and several other of his plays. The +scene between Leonora, the heroine, and Sterling, the old usurer and +lover (Act I.), is imitated from Madelon's description in the art of +making love in the _Pretentious Young Ladies_, and so are many +others. The servant Crispin is a medley of Mascarille from _The +Blunderer_, of Gros-Rene from _The Love-Tiff_, and of the +servant of the same name in the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the interfering +uncle of Lady Thinwit, is taken from _George Dandin_, whilst Sir +Anthony Tainwit becomes Sganarelle. The only thing new I have been able +to discover in _The Perplexed Couple_ is the lover Octavio +disguising himself as a pedlar to gain admittance to the object of his +love; and old Sterling, the usurer, marrying the maid instead of the +mistress. Moliere's farce has been lengthened by those means into a +five-act comedy, and though "no jest profane" may be found in it it is +more full than usual of coarse and lewd sayings, which can hardly be +called inuendoes. The play is a mistake altogether; perhaps that is the +reason, its second name is called _Mistake upon Mistake_. + +_The Picture, or the Cuckold in Conceit_, a Comedy in one act, by +Js. Miller, is founded on Moliere, and is the fourth imitation of +_Sganarelle_. London, MDCCXLV. This play is, on the whole, a free +translation of Moliere's, interspersed with some songs set to music by +Dr. Arne. Sganarelle is called Mr. Timothy Dotterel, grocer and common +councilman; Gorgibus, Mr. Per-cent; Lelio, Mr. Heartly; Gros-Rene, John +Broad, whilst Celia's maid is called Phillis. The Prologue, spoken by +Mr. Havard, ends thus: + + "...To-night we serve + A Cuckold, that the Laugh does well deserve; + A Cuckold in Conceit, by Fancy made + As mad, as by the common Course of Trade: + And more to please ye, and his Worth enhance, + He's carbonado'd a la mode de France; + Cook'd by Moliere, great Master of his Trade, + From whose Receipt this Harrico was made. + But if that poignant Taste we fail to take, + That something, that a mere Receipt can't make; + Forgive the Failure--we're but Copies all, + And want the Spirit of th' Original." + + +The fifth and best imitation is Arthur Murphy's _All in the Wrong_, +a comedy in five acts, first performed during the summer season of 1761, +at the Theatre Royal, in Drury Lane. Though the chief idea and several +of the scenes are taken from _Sganarelle_, yet the characters are +well drawn, and the play, as a whole, very entertaining. The Prologue, +written and spoken by Samuel Foote, is as follows: + + "To-night, be it known to Box, Gall'ry, and Pit, + Will be open'd the best Summer-Warehouse for Wit; + +[Footnote: Mr. Garrick, at this time, had let his playhouse for the +summer months.] + + The New Manufacture, Foote and Co., Undertakers; + Play, Pantomime, Opera, Farce,--by the Makers! + We scorn, like our brethren, our fortunes to owe + To Shakespeare and Southern, to Otway and Rowe. + Though our judgment may err, yet our justice is shewn, + For we promise to mangle no works but our own. + And moreover on this you may firmly rely, + If we can't make you laugh, that we won't make you cry. + For Roscius, who knew we were mirth-loving souls, + Has lock'd up his lightning, his daggers, and bowls. + Resolv'd that in buskins no hero shall stalk, + He has shut us quite out of the Tragedy walk. + No blood, no blank verse!--and in short we're undone, + Unless you're contented with Frolic and Fun. + If tired of her round in the Ranelagh-mill, + There should be but one female inclined to sit still; + If blind to the beauties, or sick of the squall, + A party should shun to catch cold at Vauxhall; + If at Sadler's sweet Wells the made wine should be thick, + The cheese-cakes turn sour, or Miss Wilkinson sick; + If the fume of the pipes should oppress you in June, + Or the tumblers be lame, or the bells out of tune; + I hope you will call at our warehouse in Drury; + We've a curious assortment of goods, I assure you; + Domestic and foreign, and all kinds of wares; + English cloths, Irish linnen, and French petenlairs! + If for want of good custom, or losses in trade, + The poetical partners should bankrupts be made; + If from dealings too large, we plunge deeply in debt, + And Whereas issue out in the Muses Gazette; + We'll on you our assigns for Certificates call; + Though insolvent, we're honest, and give up our all." + + +Otway in his very indecent play, _The Soldier's Fortune_, performed +at Dorset Garden, 1681, has borrowed freely from Moliere; namely: one +scene from _Sganarelle_, four scenes from _The School for +Husbands_, and a hint from _The School for Wives_. + +The joke from _The Pretentious Young Ladies_, Scene xii., page 162, +about "the half moon and the full moon" is repeated in the conversation +between Fourbin and Bloody-Bones in _The Soldier's Fortune_. + +Sir John Vanbrugh also translated Moliere's _Sganarelle_, which was +performed at the Queen's Theatre in the Haymarket, 1706, but has not +been printed. + +There was also a ballad opera played at Drury Lane April 11, 1733, +called the _Imaginary Cuckold_, which is an imitation of +_Sganarelle_. + + + + + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONAE + + +GORGIBUS, _a citizen of Paris_. + +LELIO, _in love with Celia_. + +SGANARELLE, _a citizen of Paris and the self-deceived husband_. + +[Footnote: Moliere acted this part himself. In the inventory of his +dresses taken after his death, and given by M. Eudore Soulie in his +_Recherches sur Moliere_, 1863. we find: "a ... dress for the +_Cocu imaginaire_, consisting of knee-breeches, doublet, cloak, +collar, and shoes, all in crimson red satin."] + +VILLEBREQUIN, _father to Valere_. + +GROS-RENE, _servant to Lelio_. + +A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + +CELIA, _daughter of Gorgibus_. + +SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + +CELIA'S MAID. + +_Scene_.--A PUBLICK PLACE IN PARIS. + + + + + + +SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND, + +(_SGANARELLE: OU LE COCU IMAGINAIRE_.) + + + + +SCENE I.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID. + + +CEL. (_Coming out in tears, her father following her_). Ah! never +expect my heart to consent to that. + +GORG. What do you mutter, you little impertinent girl? Do you suppose +you can thwart my resolution? Have I not absolute power over you? +And shall your youthful brain control my fatherly discretion by foolish +arguments? Which of us two has most right to command the other? Which of +us two, you or I, is, in your opinion, best able to judge what is +advantageous for you? Zounds, do not provoke me too much, or you may +feel, and in a very short time too, what strength this arm of mine still +possesses! Your shortest way, you obstinate minx, would be to accept +without any more ado the husband intended for you; but you say, +"I do not know what kind of temper he has, and I ought to think about +it beforehand, if you will allow me." I know that he is heir to a large +fortune; ought I therefore to trouble my head about anything else? +Can this man, who has twenty thousand golden charms in his pocket to be +beloved by you, want any accomplishments? Come, come, let him be what he +will, I promise you that with such a sum he is a very worthy gentleman! + +CEL. Alas! + +GORG. Alas, indeed! What is the meaning of that? +A fine alas you have uttered just now! Look ye! If once you put me in a +passion you will have plenty of opportunities for shouting alas! This +comes of that eagerness of yours to read novels day and night; your head +is so full of all kinds of nonsense about love, that you talk of God +much less than of Clelie. Throw into the fire all these mischievous +books, which are every day corrupting the minds of so many young people; +instead of such trumpery, read, as you ought to do, the Quatrains of +Pibrac and the learned memorandum-books of Councillor Matthieu, + +[Footnote: Gui du Faur de Pibrac (1528-1584) was a distinguished +diplomatist, magistrate, and orator, who wrote several works, of which +the _Cinquante quatrains contenant preceptes et enseignements utiles +pour la vie de l'homme, composes a l'imitation de Phocylides, +Epicharmus, et autres poetes grecs_, and which number he afterwards +increased to 126, are the best known. These quatrains, or couplets of +four verses, have been translated into nearly all European and several +Eastern languages. A most elegant reprint has been published of them, in +1874, by M. A. Lemetre, of Paris.] + +[Footnote: Pierre Matthieu (1563--1621), a French historian and poet +wrote, among other works, his _Tablettes de la vie et de la mort, +quatrains de la Vanite du Monde_, a collection of 274 moral +quatrains, divided in three parts, each part of which was published +separately in an oblong shape, like a memorandum book; hence the name +_Tablettes_.] + +a valuable work and full of fine sayings for you to learn by heart; +the Guide for Sinners + +[Footnote: _La guide des pecheurs_, the Guide for Sinners, is a +translation in French of an ascetic Spanish work, _la guia de +pecadores_, written by a Dominican friar, Lewis, of Granada.] + +is also a good book. Such writings teach people in a short time how to +spend their lives well, and if you had never read anything but such +moral books you would have known better how to submit to my commands. + +CEL. Do you suppose, dear father, I can ever forget that unchangeable +affection I owe to Lelio? I should be wrong to dispose of my hand +against your will, but you yourself engaged me to him. + +GORG. Even if you were engaged ever so much, another man has made his +appearance whose fortune annuls your engagement. Lelio is a pretty +fellow, but learn that there is nothing that does not give way to money, +that gold will make even the most ugly charming, and that without it +everything else is but wretchedness. I believe you are not very fond of +Valere, but though you do not like him as a lover, you will like him as +a husband. The very name of husband endears a man more than is generally +supposed, and love is often a consequence of marriage. But what a fool I +am to stand arguing when I possess the absolute right to command. +A truce then, I tell you, to your impertinence; let me have no more of +your foolish complaints. This evening Valere intends to visit you, and +if you do not receive him well, and look kindly upon him, I shall... +but I will say no more on this subject. + + + + +SCENE II.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID. + + +MAID. What, madam! you refuse positively what so many other people would +accept with all their heart! You answer with tears a proposal for +marriage, and delay for a long time to say a "yes" so agreeable to hear! +Alas! why does some one not wish to marry me? I should not need much +entreaty: and so far from thinking it any trouble to say "yes" once, +believe me I would very quickly say it a dozen times. Your brother's +tutor was quite right when, as we were talking about worldly affairs, he +said, "A woman is like the ivy, which grows luxuriantly whilst it clings +closely to the tree, but never thrives if it be separated from it." +Nothing can be truer, my dear mistress, and I, miserable sinner, have +found it out. Heaven rest the soul of my poor Martin! when he was alive +my complexion was like a cherub's; I was plump and comely, my eyes +sparkled brightly, and I felt happy: now I am doleful. In those pleasant +times, which flew away like lightning, I went to bed, in the very depth +of winter, without kindling a fire in the room; even airing the sheets +appeared then to me ridiculous; but now I shiver even in the dogdays. In +short, madam, believe me there is nothing like having a husband at night +by one's side, were it only for the pleasure of hearing him say, "God +bless you," whenever one may happen to sneeze. + +CEL. Can you advise me to act so wickedly as to forsake Lelio and take +up with this ill-shaped fellow? + +MAID. Upon my word, your Lelio is a mere fool to stay away the very time +he is wanted; his long absence makes me very much suspect some change in +his affection. + +GEL. (_showing her the portrait of Lelio_). Oh! do not distress me +by such dire forebodings! Observe carefully the features of his face; +they swear to me an eternal affection; after all, I would not willingly +believe them to tell a falsehood, but that he is such as he is here +limned by art, and that his affection for me remains unchanged. + +MAID. To be sure, these features denote a deserving lover, whom you are +right to regard tenderly. + +CEL. And yet I must--Ah! support me. + (_She lets fall the portrait of Lelio_.) + +MAID. Madam, what is the cause of... Heavens! she swoons. Oh! make +haste! help! help! + + + + +SCENE III.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, CELIA'S MAID. + + +SGAN. What is the matter? I am here. + +MAID. My lady is dying. + +SGAN. What! is that all? You made such a noise, I thought the world was +at an end. Let us see, however. Madam, are you dead? Um! she does not +say one word. + +MAID. I shall fetch somebody to carry her in; be kind enough to hold her +so long. + + + + +SCENE IV.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + + +SGAN. (_passing his hand over Celia's bosom_). She is cold all +over, and I do not know what to say to it. Let me draw a little nearer +and try whether she breathes or not. Upon my word, I cannot tell, but I +perceive still some signs of life. + +SGAN.'S WIFE, (_looking from the window_). Ah! what do I see? My +husband, holding in his arms... But I shall go down; he is false to me +most certainly; I should be glad to catch him. + +SGAN. She must be assisted very quickly; she would certainly be in the +wrong to die. A journey to another world is very foolish, so long as a +body is able to stay in this. (_He carries her in_). + + + + +SCENE V.--SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _alone_. + + +He has suddenly left this spot; his flight has disappointed my +curiosity; but I doubt no longer that he is unfaithful to me; the little +I have seen sufficiently proves it. I am no longer astonished that he +returns my modest love with strange coldness; the ungrateful wretch +reserves his caresses for others, and starves me in order to feed their +pleasures. This is the common way of husbands; they become indifferent +to what is lawful; at the beginning they do wonders, and seem to be very +much in love with us, but the wretches soon grow weary of our fondness, +and carry elsewhere what is due to us alone. Oh! how it vexes me that the +law will not permit us to change our husband as we do our linen! That +would be very convenient; and, troth, I know some women whom it would +please as much as myself. (_Taking up the picture which Celia had let +fall_). But what a pretty thing has fortune sent me here; the enamel +of it is most beautiful, the workmanship delightful; let me open it? + + + + +SCENE VI.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + + +SGAN. (_Thinking himself alone_). They thought her dead, but it was +nothing at all! She is already recovering and nearly well again. But I +see my wife. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Thinking herself alone_). O Heaven! It is a +miniature, a fine picture of a handsome man. + +SGAN. (_Aside, and looking over his wife's shoulder_). What is this +she looks at so closely? This picture bodes my honour little good. A +very ugly feeling of jealousy begins to creep over me. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Not seeing her husband_). I never saw anything more +beautiful in my life! The workmanship is even of greater value than the +gold! Oh, how sweet it smells! + +SGAN. (_Aside_). The deuce! She kisses it! I am victimized! + +SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Continues her Monologue_.) I think it must be a +charming thing to have such a fine-looking man for a sweetheart; if he +should urge his suit very much the temptation would be great. Alas! why +have I not a handsome man like this for my husband instead of my booby, +my clod-hopper...? + +SGAN. (_Snatching the portrait from her_). What, hussey! have I +caught you in the very act, slandering your honourable and darling +husband? According to you, most worthy spouse, and everything well +considered, the husband is not as good as the wife? In Beelzebub's name +(and may he fly away with you), what better match could you wish for? +Is there any fault to be found with me? It seems that this shape, this +air, which everybody admires; this face, so fit to inspire love, for +which a thousand fair ones sigh both night and day; in a word, my own +delightful self, by no manner of means pleases you. Moreover, to satisfy +your ravenous appetite you add to the husband the relish of a gallant. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. I see plainly the drift of your jocular remarks, though +you do not clearly express yourself. You expect by these means... + +SGAN. Try to impose upon others, not upon me, I pray you. The fact +is evident; I have in my hands a convincing proof of the injury I +complain of. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. I am already too angry, and do not wish you to make me +more so by any fresh insult. Hark ye, do not imagine that you shall keep +this pretty thing; consider... + +SGAN. I am seriously considering whether I shall break your neck. +I wish I had but the original of this portrait in my power as much +as I have the copy. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. Why? + +SGAN. For nothing at all, dear, sweet object of my love! I am very wrong +to speak out; my forehead ought to thank you for many favours received. +(_Looking at the portrait of Lelio_). There he is, your darling, +the pretty bed-fellow, the wicked incentive of your secret flame, the +merry blade with whom... + +SGAN.'S WIFE. With whom? Go on. + +SGAN. With whom, I say... I am almost bursting with vexation. + +[Footnote: The original has: "_j'en creve d'ennuis_." The French +word _ennui_, which now only means weariness of mind, signified +formerly injury, and the vexation or hatred caused thereby; something +like the English word "annoy," as in Shakespeare's Richard III., v. 3: + "Sleep, Richmond, sleep in peace, and wake in joy; + Good angels guard thee from the boar's annoy."] + + +SGAN.'S WIFE. What does the drunken sot mean by all this? + +SGAN. You know but too well, Mrs. Impudence. No one will call me any +longer Sganarelle, but every one will give me the title of Signor +Cornutus; my honor is gone, but to reward you, who took it from me, I +shall at the very least break you an arm or a couple of ribs. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. How dare you talk to me thus? + +SGAN. How dare you play me these devilish pranks? + +SGAN.'S WIFE. What devilish pranks? Say what you mean. + +SGAN. Oh! It is not worth complaining of. A stag's top-knot on my head +is indeed a very pretty ornament for everybody to come and look at. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. After you have insulted your wife so grossly as to excite +her thirst for vengeance, you stupidly imagine you can prevent the +effects of it by pretending to be angry? Such insolence was never before +known on the like occasion. The offender is the person who begins the +quarrel. + +SGAN. Oh! what a shameless creature! To see the confident behaviour of +this woman, would not any one suppose her to be very virtuous? + +SGAN.'S WIFE. Away, go about your business, wheedle your mistresses, +tell them you love them, caress them even, but give me back my picture, +and do not make a jest of me. (_She snatches the picture from him and +runs away_). + +SGAN. So you think to escape me; but I shall get hold of it again in +spite of you. + + + + +SCENE VII.--LELIO, GROS-RENE. + + +GR.-RE. Here we are at last; but, sir, if I might be so bold, I should +like you to tell me one thing. + +LEL. Well, speak. + +GR.-RE. Are you possessed by some devil or other, that you do not sink +under such fatigues as these? For eight whole days we have been riding +long stages, and have not been sparing of whip and spur to urge on +confounded screws, whose cursed trot shook us so very much that, for my +part, I feel as if every limb was out of joint; without mentioning a +worse mishap which troubles me very much in a place I will not mention. +And yet, no sooner are you at your journey's end, than you go out well +and hearty, without taking rest, or eating the least morsel. + +LEL. My haste may well be excused, for I am greatly alarmed about the +report of Celia's marriage. You know I adore her, and, before +everything, I wish to hear if there is any truth in this ominous rumour. + +GR.-RE. Ay, sir, but a good meal would be of great use to you to +discover the truth or falsehood of this report; doubtless you would +become thereby much stronger to withstand the strokes of fate. I judge +by my own self, for, when I am fasting, the smallest disappointment gets +hold of me and pulls me down; but when I have eaten sufficiently my soul +can resist anything, and the greatest misfortunes cannot depress it. +Believe me, stuff yourself well, and do not be too cautious. To fortify +you under whatever misfortune may do, and in order to prevent sorrow +from entering your heart, let it float in plenty of wine. + +[Footnote: This is an imitation of Plautus' _Curculio, or the +Forgery_. The Parasite of Phaeaedromus, who gave his name to the +piece, says (ii. 3):--"I am quite undone. I can hardly see; my mouth is +bitter; my teeth are blunted; my jaws are clammy through fasting; with +my entrails thus lank with abstinence from food, am I come... Let's cram +down something first; the gammon, the udder, and the kernels; these are +the foundations for the stomach, with head and roast-beef, a good-sized +cup and a capacious pot, that council enough may be forthcoming."] + +LEL. I cannot eat. + +GR.-RE. (_Aside_). I can eat very well indeed; If it is not true +may I be struck dead! (_Aloud_). For all that, your dinner shall be +ready presently. + +LEL. Hold your tongue, I command you. + +GR.-RE. How barbarous is that order! + +LEL. I am not hungry, but uneasy. + +GR.-RE. And I am hungry and uneasy as well, to see that a foolish +love-affair engrosses all your thoughts. + +[Footnote: Shakespeare, in _The Two Gentlemen of Verona_ +(Act ii., Sc. I), has the following: + _Speed_. ...Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time. + _Val_. I have dined. + _Speed_. Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon, love, can + feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would + fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.] + +LEL. Let me but get some information about my heart's delight, and +without troubling me more, go and take your meal if you like. + +GR.-RE. I never say nay when a master commands. + + + + +SCENE VIII.--LELIO, _alone_. + + +No, no, my mind is tormented by too many terrors; the father has +promised me Celia's hand, and she has given me such proofs of her love +that I need not despair. + + + + +SCENE IX.--SGANARELLE, LELIO. + + +SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio, and holding the portrait in his hand_). +I have got it. I can now at my leisure look at the countenance of the +rascal who causes my dishonour. I do not know him at all. + +LEL. (_Aside_). Heavens! what do I see? If that be my picture, what +then must I believe? + +SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio_). Ah! poor Sganarelle! your reputation is +doomed, and to what a sad fate! Must... (_Perceiving that Lelio +observes him he goes to the other side of the stage_). + +LEL. (_Aside_). This pledge of my love cannot have left the fair +hands to which I gave it, without startling my faith in her. + +SGAN. (_Aside_). People will make fun of me henceforth by holding +up their two fingers; songs will be made about me, and every time they +will fling in my teeth that scandalous affront, which a wicked wife has +printed upon my forehead. + +LEL. (_Aside_). Do I deceive myself? + +SGAN. (_Aside_). Oh! Jade! + +[Footnote: The original is _truande_, which, as well as the +masculine _truand_, meant, in old French, a vagabond, a rascal; it +is still retained in the English phrase "to play the truant."] + +were you impudent enough to cuckold me in the flower of my age? The +wife too of a husband who may be reckoned handsome! and must be a +monkey, a cursed addle-pated fellow... + +LEL. (_Aside, looking still at the portrait in Sganarelle's hand_). +I am not mistaken; it is my very picture. + +SGAN. (_Turning his back towards him_). This man seems very +inquisitive. + +LEL. (_Aside_). I am very much surprised. + +SGAN. What would he be at? + +LEL. (_Aside_). I will speak to him. (_Aloud_). May I... +(_Sganarelle goes farther off_). I say, let me have one word with +you. + +SGAN. (_Aside, and moving still farther_). What does he wish to +tell me now? + +LEL. Will you inform me by what accident that picture came into your +hands? + +SGAN. (_Aside_). Why does he wish to know? But I am thinking... +(_Looking at Lelio and at the portrait in his hand_). Oh! upon my +word, I know the cause of his anxiety; I no longer wonder at his +surprise. This is my man, or rather, my wife's man. + +LEL. Pray, relieve my distracted mind, and tell me how you come by... + +SGAN. Thank Heaven, I know what disturbs you; this portrait, which +causes you some uneasiness, is your very likeness, and was found in the +hands of a certain acquaintance of yours; the soft endearments which +have passed between that lady and you are no secret to me. I cannot tell +whether I have the honour to be known by your gallant lordship in this +piece of gallantry; but henceforth, be kind enough to break off an +intrigue, which a husband may not approve of; and consider that the holy +bonds of wedlock... + +LEL. What do you say? She from whom you received this pledge... + +SGAN. Is my wife, and I am her husband. + +LEL. Her husband? + +SGAN. Yes, her husband, I tell you. Though married I am far from merry; +you, sir, know the reason of it; this very moment I am going to inform +her relatives about this affair. + +[Footnote: The original has _mari-tres-marri_; literally, "husband +very sad;" _marri_ being the old French for sad: the ancient plays +and tales are full of allusions to the connection between these two words, +_mari_ and _marri_.] + + + + +SCENE X.--LELIO, _alone_. + + +Alas! what have I heard! The report then was true that her husband was +the ugliest of all his sex. Even if your faithless lips had never sworn +me more than a thousand times eternal love, the disgust you should have +felt at such a base and shameful choice might have sufficiently secured +me against the loss of your affection... But this great insult, and the +fatigues of a pretty long journey, produce all at once such a violent +effect upon me, that I feel faint, and can hardly bear up under it. + + + + +SCENE XI.--LELIO, SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + + +SGAN.'S WIFE. In spite of me, my wretch... (_Seeing Lelio_). Good +lack! what ails you? I perceive, sir, you are ready to faint away. + +LEL. It is an illness that has attacked me quite suddenly. + +SGAN'S WIFE. I am afraid you shall faint; step in here, and stay until +you are better. + +LEL. For a moment or two I will accept of your kindness. + + + + +SCENE XII.--SGANARELLE, A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + + +REL. I commend a husband's anxiety in such a case, but you take fright a +little too hastily. All that you have told me against her, kinsman, does +not prove her guilty. It is a delicate subject, and no one should ever +be accused of such a crime unless it can be fully proved. + +SGAN. That is to say, unless you see it. + +REL. Too much haste leads us to commit mistakes. Who can tell how this +picture came into her hands, and, after all, whether she knows the man? +Seek a little more information, and if it proves to be as you suspect, I +shall be one of the first to punish her offence. + + + + +SCENE XIII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_. + + +Nothing could be said fairer; it is really the best way to proceed +cautiously. Perhaps I have dreamt of horns without any cause, and the +perspiration has covered my brow rather prematurely. My dishonour is not +at all proved by that portrait which frightened me so much. Let me +endeavour then by care... + + + + +SCENE XIV.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _standing at the door of +her house, with_ LELIO. + + +SGAN. (_Aside seeing them_). Ha! what do I see? Zounds! there can +be no more question about the portrait, for upon my word here stands the +very man, in _propria persona_. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. You hurry away too fast, sir; if you leave us so quickly, +you may perhaps have a return of your illness. + +LEL. No, no, I thank you heartily for the kind assistance you have +rendered me. + +SGAN. (_Aside_). The deceitful woman is to the last polite to him. +(_Sganarelle's Wife goes into the house again_). + + + + +SCENE XV.--SGANARELLE, LELIO. + + +SGAN. He has seen me, let us hear what he can say to me. + +LEL. (_Aside_). Oh! my soul is moved! this sight inspires me +with... but I ought to blame this unjust resentment, and only ascribe my +sufferings to my merciless fate; yet I cannot help envying the success +that has crowned his passion. (_Approaching Sganarelle_). O too +happy mortal in having so beautiful a wife. + + + + +SCENE XVI.--SGANARELLE, CELIA, _at her window, seeing Lelio go away_. + + +SGAN. (_Alone_). This confession is pretty plain. His extraordinary +speech surprises me as much as if horns had grown upon my head. +(_Looking at the side where Lelio went off_). Go your way, you have +not acted at all like an honourable man. + +CEL. (_Aside, entering_). Who can that be? Just now I saw Lelio. +Why does he conceal his return from me? + +SGAN. (_Without seeing Celia_). "O too happy mortal in having +so beautiful a wife!" Say rather, unhappy mortal in having such a +disgraceful spouse through whose guilty passion, it is now but too +clear, I have been cuckolded without any feeling of compassion. +Yet I allow him to go away after such a discovery, and stand with +my arms folded like a regular silly-billy! I ought at least to have +knocked his hat off, thrown stones at him, or mud on his cloak; to +satisfy my wrath I should rouse the whole neighbourhood, and cry, +"Stop, thief of my honour!" + +CEL. (_To Sganarelle_). Pray, sir, how came you to know this +gentleman who went away just now and spoke to you? + +SGAN. Alas! madam, it is not I who am acquainted with him; it is my wife. + +CEL. What emotion thus disturbs your mind? + +SGAN. Do not blame me; I have sufficient cause for my sorrow; permit me +to breathe plenty of sighs. + +CEL. What can be the reason of this uncommon grief? + +SGAN. If I am sad it is not for a trifle: I challenge other people not +to grieve, if they found themselves in my condition. You see in me the +model of unhappy husbands. Poor Sganarelle's honour is taken from him; +but the loss of my honour would be small--they deprive me of my +reputation also. + +CEL. How do they do that? + +SGAN. That fop has taken the liberty to cuckold me--saving your +presence, madam--and this very day my own eyes have been witness to a +private interview between him and my wife. + +CEL. What? He who just now... + +SGAN. Ay, ay, it is he who brings disgrace upon me; he is in love with +my wife, and my wife is in love with him. + +CEL. Ah! I find I was right when I thought his returning secretly only +concealed some base design; I trembled the minute I saw him, from a sad +foreboding of what would happen. + +SGAN. You espouse my cause with too much kindness, but everybody is +not so charitably disposed; for many, who have already heard of my +sufferings, so far from taking my part, only laugh at me. + +CEL. Can anything be more base than this vile deed? or can a punishment +be discovered such as he deserves? Does he think he is worthy to live, +after polluting himself with such treachery? O Heaven! is it possible? + +SGAN. It is but too true. + +CEL. O traitor, villain, deceitful, faithless wretch! + +SGAN. What a kind-hearted creature! + +CEL. No, no, hell has not tortures enough to punish you sufficiently +for your guilt! + +SGAN. How well she talks! + +CEL. Thus to abuse both innocence and goodness! + +SGAN. (_Sighing aloud_). Ah! + +CEL. A heart which never did the slightest action deserving of being +treated with such insult and contempt. + +SGAN. That's true. + +CEL. Who far from... but it is too much; nor can this heart endure the +thought of it without feeling on the rack. + +SGAN. My dear lady, do not distress yourself so much; it pierces my very +soul to see you grieve so at my misfortune. + +CEL. But do not deceive yourself so far as to fancy that I shall sit +down and do nothing but lament; no, my heart knows how to act in order +to be avenged; nothing can divert me from it; I go to prepare everything. + + + + +SCENE XVII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_. + + +May Heaven keep her for ever out of harm's way! How kind of her to wish +to avenge me! Her anger at my dishonour plainly teaches me how to act. +Nobody should bear such affronts as these tamely, unless indeed he be a +fool. Let us therefore hasten to hunt out this rascal who has insulted +me, and let me prove my courage by avenging my dishonour. + +[Footnote: A similar adventure is told of the renowned fabulist +La Fontaine. One day some one informed him that Poignan, a retired +captain of dragoons and one of his friends, was by far too intimate +with Madame La Fontaine, and that to avenge his dishonour he ought to +fight a duel with him. La Fontaine calls upon Poignan at four o'clock +in the morning, tells him to dress, takes him out of town, and then +coolly says "that he has been advised to fight a duel with him in order +to avenge his wounded honour." Soon La Fontaine's sword flies out of his +hand, the friends go to breakfast, and the whole affair is at an end.] + +I will teach you, you rogue, to laugh at my expense, and to cuckold +people without showing them any respect. (_After going three or four +steps he comes back again_.) But gently, if you please, this man looks +as if he were very hot-headed and passionate; he may, perhaps, heaping +one insult upon another, ornament my back as well as he has done my brow. + +[Footnote: In the original there is a play on words which cannot be +rendered in English. _Il pourrait bien ... charger de bois mon dos +comme, il a fait mort front_. _Bois_ means "stick" and "stags' +antlers."] + +I detest, from the bottom of my heart, these fiery tempers, and vastly +prefer peaceable people. I do not care to beat for fear of being beaten; +a gentle disposition was always my predominant virtue: But my honour +tells me that it is absolutely necessary I should avenge such an outrage +as this. Let honour say whatever it likes, the deuce take him who +listens. Suppose now I should play the hero, and receive for my pains an +ugly thrust with a piece of cold steel quite through my stomach; when +the news of my death spreads through the whole town, tell me then, my +honour, shall you be the better of it. + +[Footnote: Compare in Shakespeare's _Part First of King Henry IV_. +v. I, Falstaff's speech about honour.] + +The grave is too melancholy an abode, and too unwholesome for people who +are afraid of the colic; as for me, I find, all things considered, that +it is, after all, better to be a cuckold than to be dead. What harm is +there in it? Does it make a man's legs crooked? does it spoil his shape? +The plague take him who first invented being grieved about such a +delusion, linking the honour of the wisest man to anything a fickle +woman may do. Since every person is rightly held responsible for his own +crimes, how can our honour, in this case, be considered criminal? We are +blamed for the actions of other people. If our wives have an intrigue +with any man, without our knowledge, all the mischief must fall upon our +backs; they commit the crime and we are reckoned guilty. It is a +villainous abuse, and indeed Government should remedy such injustice. +Have we not enough of other accidents that happen to us whether we like +them or not? Do not quarrels, lawsuits, hunger, thirst, and sickness +sufficiently disturb the even tenour of our lives? and yet we must +stupidly get it into our heads to grieve about something which has no +foundation. Let us laugh at it, despise such idle fears, and be above +sighs and tears. If my wife has done amiss, let her cry as much as she +likes, but why should I weep when I have done no wrong? After all, I am +not the only one of my fraternity, and that should console me a little. +Many people of rank see their wives cajoled, and do not say a word about +it. Why should I then try to pick a quarrel for an affront, which is but +a mere trifle? They will call me a fool for not avenging myself, but I +should be a much greater fool to rush on my own destruction. (_Putting +his hand upon his stomach_). I feel, however, my bile is stirred up +here; it almost persuades me to do some manly action. Ay, anger gets the +better of me; it is rather too much of a good thing to be a coward too! +I am resolved to be revenged upon the thief of my honour. Full of the +passion which excites my ardour, and in order to make a beginning, +I shall go and tell everywhere that he lies with my wife. + + + + +SCENE XVIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID. + + +CEL. Yes, I will yield willingly to so just a law, father; you can +freely dispose of my heart and my hand; I will sign the marriage +contract whenever you please, for I am now determined to perform my +duty. I can command my own inclinations, and shall do whatever you +order me. + +GORG. How she pleases me by talking in this manner! Upon my word! I am +so delighted that I would immediately cut a caper or two, were people +not looking on, who would laugh at it. Come hither, I say, and let me +embrace you; there is no harm in that; a father may kiss his daughter +whenever he likes, without giving any occasion for scandal. Well, the +satisfaction of seeing you so obedient has made me twenty years younger. + + + + +SCENE XIX.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID. + + +MAID. This change surprises me. + +CEL. When you come to know why I act thus, you will esteem me for it. + +MAID. Perhaps so. + +CEL. Know then that Lelio has wounded my heart by his treacherous +behaviour, and has been in this neighbourhood without... + +MAID. Here he comes. + + + + +SCENE XX.--LELIO, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID. + + +LEL. Before I take my leave of you for ever, I will at least here tell +you that... + +CEL. What! are you insolent enough to speak to me again? + +LEL. I own my insolence is great, and yet your choice is such I should +not be greatly to blame if I upbraided you. Live, live contented, and +laugh when you think of me, as well as your worthy husband, of whom you +have reason to be proud. + +CEL. Yes, traitor, I will live so, and I trust most earnestly that the +thought of my happiness may disturb you. + +LEL. Why this outbreak of passion? + +CEL. You pretend to be surprised, and ask what crimes you have committed? + + + + +SCENE XXI.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE _armed cap-a-pie_, CELIA'S MAID. + + +SGAN. I wage war, a war of extermination against this robber of my +honour, who without mercy has sullied my fair name. + +CEL. (_To Lelio, pointing to Sganarelle_). Look on this man, and +then you will require no further answer. + +LEL. Ah! I see. + +CEL. A mere glance at him is sufficient to abash you. + +LEL. It ought rather to make you blush. + +SGAN. My wrath is now disposed to vent itself upon some one; my courage +is at its height; if I meet him, there will be blood shed. Yes, I have +sworn to kill him, nothing can keep me from doing so. Wherever I see him +I will dispatch him. (_Drawing his sword halfway and approaching +Lelio_). Right through the middle of his heart I shall thrust... + +LEL. (_Turning round_). Against whom do you bear such a grudge? + +SGAN. Against no one. + +LEL. Why are you thus in armour? + +SGAN. It is a dress I put on to keep the rain off. (_Aside_). Ah! +what a satisfaction it would be for me to kill him! Let us pluck up +courage to do it. + +LEL. (_Turning round again_). Hey? + +SGAN. I did not speak. (_Aside, boxing his own ears, and thumping +himself to raise his courage_). Ah! I am enraged at my own cowardice! +Chicken-hearted poltroon! + +CEL. What you have seen ought to satisfy you, but it appears to +offend you. + +LEL. Yes through him I know you are guilty of the greatest faithlessness +that ever wronged a faithful lover's heart, and for which no excuse can +be found. + +SGAN. (_Aside_). Why have I not a little more courage? + +CEL. Ah, traitor, speak not to me in so unmanly and insolent a manner. + +SGAN. (_Aside_). You see, Sganarelle, she takes up your quarrel: +courage, my lad, be a trifle vigorous. Now, be bold, try to make one +noble effort and kill him whilst his back is turned. + +LEL. (_Who has moved accidentally a few steps back, meets Sganarelle, +who was drawing near to kill him. The latter is frightened, and +retreats_). Since my words kindle your wrath, madam, I ought to show +my satisfaction with what your heart approves, and here commend the +lovely choice you have made. + +CEL. Yes, yes, my choice is such as cannot be blamed. + +LEL. You do well to defend it. + +SGAN. No doubt, she does well to defend my rights, but what you have +done, sir, is not according to the laws; I have reason to complain; +were I less discreet, much blood would be shed. + +LEL. Of what do you complain? And why this... + +SGAN. Do not say a word more. You know too well where the shoe pinches +me. But conscience and a care for your own soul should remind you that +my wife is my wife, and that to make her yours under my very nose is not +acting like a good Christian. + +LEL. Such a suspicion is mean and ridiculous! Harbour no scruples +on that point: I know she belongs to you; I am very far from being +in love with... + +CEL. Oh! traitor! how well you dissemble! + +LEL. What! do you imagine I foster a thought which need disturb his +mind? Would you slander me by accusing me of such a cowardly action? + +CEL. Speak, speak to himself; he can enlighten you. + +SGAN. (_To Celia_), No, no, you can argue much better than I can, +and have treated the matter in the right way. + + + + +SCENE XXII.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID. + + +SGAN.'S WIFE. (_To Celia_). I am not inclined, Madam, to show that +I am over-jealous; but I am no fool, and can see what is going on. +There are certain amours which appear very strange; you should be better +employed than in seducing a heart which ought to be mine alone. + +CEL. This declaration of her love is plain enough. + +[Footnote: Some commentators think it is Lelio who utters these words, +but they are clearly Celia's.] + +SGAN. (_To his wife_). Who sent for you, baggage? You come and +scold her because she takes my part, whilst you are afraid of losing +your gallant. + +CEL. Do not suppose anybody has a mind to him. (_Turning towards +Lelio_). You see whether I have told a falsehood, and I am very glad +of it. + +LEL. What can be the meaning of this? + +MAID. Upon my word, I do not know when this entanglement will be +unravelled. I have tried for a pretty long time to comprehend it, but +the more I hear the less I understand. Really I think I must interfere +at last. (_Placing herself between Lelio and Celia_). Answer me one +after another, and (_To Lelio_) allow me to ask what do you accuse +this lady of? + +LEL. That she broke her word and forsook me for another. As soon as I +heard she was going to be married I hastened hither, carried away by an +irrepressible love, and not believing I could be forgotten; but +discovered, when I arrived here, that she was married. + +MAID. Married! To whom? + +LEL. (_Pointing to Sganarelle_). To him. + +MAID. How! to him? + +LEL. Yes, to him. + +MAID. Who told you so? + +LEL. Himself, this very day. + +MAID. (_To Sganarelle_)Is this true? + +SGAN. I? I told him I was married to my own wife. + +LEL. Just now, whilst you looked at my picture, you seemed greatly moved. + +SGAN. True, here it is. + +LEL. (_To Sganarelle). You also told me that she, from whose hands +you had received this pledge of her love, was joined to you in the bonds +of wedlock. + +SGAN. No doubt (_pointing to his wife_), for I snatched it from +her, and should not have discovered her wickedness had I not done so. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. What do you mean by your groundless complaint? I found +this portrait at my feet by accident. After you had stormed without +telling me the cause of your rage, I saw this gentleman (_pointing to +Lelio_)nearly fainting, asked him to come in, but did not even then +discover that he was the original of the picture. + +CEL. I was the cause of the portrait being lost; I let it fall when +swooning, and when you (_to Sganarelle_) kindly carried me into +the house. + +MAID. You see that without my help you had still been at a loss, and +that you had some need of hellebore. + +[Footnote: Among the ancients the _helleborus officinalis_ or +_orientalis_ was held to cure insanity; hence the allusion.] + +SGAN. (_Aside_). Shall we believe all this? I have been very much +frightened for my brow. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. I have not quite recovered from my fear; however agreeable +credulity may be, I am both to be deceived. + +SGAN. (_To his wife_). Well, let us mutually suppose ourselves to +be people of honour. I risk more on my side than you do on yours; +accept, therefore, without much ado, what I propose. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. Be it so, but wo be to you if I discover anything. + +CEL. (_To Lelio, after whispering together_). Ye heavens! if it be +so, what have I done? I ought to fear the consequences of my own anger! +Thinking you false, and wishing to be avenged, I in an unhappy moment +complied with my father's wishes, and but a minute since engaged myself +to marry a man whose hand, until then, I always had refused. I have made +a promise to my father, and what grieves me most is... But I see him +coming. + +LEL. He shall keep his word with me. + + + + +SCENE XXIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, +CELIA'S MAID. + + +LEL. Sir, you see I have returned to this town, inflamed with the same +ardour, and now I suppose you will keep your promise, which made me hope +to marry Celia, and thus reward my intense love. + +GORG. Sir, whom I see returned to this town inflamed with the same +ardour, and who now supposes I will keep my promise, which made you hope +to marry Celia, and thus reward your intense love, I am your lordship's +very humble servant. + +LEL. What, sir, is it thus you frustrate my expectations? + +GORG. Ay, sir, it is thus I do my duty, and my daughter obeys me too. + +CEL. My duty compels me, father, to make good your promise to him. + +GORG. Is this obeying my commands as a daughter ought to do? Just now +you were very kindly disposed towards Valere, but you change quickly... +I see his father approaching, who certainly comes to arrange about the +marriage. + + + + +SCENE XXIV.--VILLEBREQUIN, GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, +SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID. + + +GORG. What brings you hither, M. Villebrequin? + +VILL. An important secret, which I only discovered this morning, and +which completely prevents me from keeping the engagement I made with +you. My son, whom your daughter was going to espouse, has deceived +everybody, and been secretly married these four months past to Lise. +Her friends, her fortune, and her family connections, make it impossible +for me to break off this alliance; and hence I come to you.... + +GORG. Pray, say no more. If Valere has married some one else without +your permission, I cannot disguise from you, that I myself long ago, +promised my daughter Celia to Lelio, endowed with every virtue, and that +his return today prevents me from choosing any other husband for her. + +VILL. Such a choice pleases me very much. + +LEL. This honest intention will crown my days with eternal bliss. + +GORG. Let us go and fix the day for the wedding. + +SGAN. (_Alone_). Was there ever a man who had more cause to think +himself victimized? You perceive that in such matters the strongest +probability may create in the mind a wrong belief. Therefore remember, +never to believe anything even if you should see everything. + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Sganarelle, by Moliere + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SGANARELLE *** + +This file should be named 7sgnl10.txt or 7sgnl10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, 7sgnl11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, 7sgnl10a.txt + +Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Sganarelle + or The Self-Deceived Husband + +Author: Moliere + +Release Date: October, 2004 [EBook #6681] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on January 12, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SGANARELLE *** + + + + +Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + +SGANARELLE; OU, LE COCU IMAGINAIRE + +COMÉDIE EN UN ACTE. + + * * * * * + +SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND. + +A COMEDY IN ONE ACT. + +(_THE ORIGINAL IN VERSE_.) + +28TH MAY, 1660. + + + + + + +INTRODUCTORY NOTICE. + +Six months after the brilliant success of the _Précieuses +Ridicules_, Molière brought out at the Théâtre du Petit-Bourbon a new +comedy, called _Sganarelle, ou le Cocu Imaginaire_, which I have +translated by _Sganarelle, or the self-deceived Husband_. It has +been said that Molière owed the first idea of this piece to an Italian +farce, _Il Ritratto ovvero Arlichino cornuto per opinione_, but, as +it has never been printed, it is difficult to decide at the present time +whether or not this be true. The primary idea of the play is common to +many _commedia dell' arte_, whilst Molière has also been inspired +by such old authors as Noël Du Fail, Rabelais, those of the _Quinze +joyes de Mariage_, of the _Cent nouvelles Nouvelles_, and +perhaps others. + +The plot of _Sganarelle_ is ingenious and plausible; every trifle +becomes circumstantial evidence, and is received as conclusive proof +both by the husband and wife. The dialogue is sprightly throughout, and +the anxious desire of Sganarelle to kill his supposed injurer, whilst +his cowardice prevents him from executing his valorous design, is +extremely ludicrous. The chief aim of our author appears to have been to +show how dangerous it is to judge with too much haste, especially in +those circumstances where passion may either augment or diminish the +view we take of certain objects. This truth, animated by a great deal of +humour and wit, drew crowds of spectators for forty nights, though the +play was brought out in summer and the marriage of the young king kept +the court from Paris. + +The style is totally different from that employed in the _Précieuses +Ridicules_, and is a real and very good specimen of the _style +gaulois_ adapted to the age in which Molière lived. He has often been +blamed for not having followed up his success of the _Précieuses +Ridicules_ by a comedy in the same style, but Molière did not want to +make fresh enemies. It appears to have been a regular and set purpose +with him always to produce something farcical after a creation which +provoked either secret or open hostility, or even violent opposition. + +Sganarelle appears in this piece for the first time, if we except the +farce, or rather sketch, of the _Médecin volant_, where in reality +nothing is developed, but everything is in mere outline. But in +Sganarelle Molière has created a character that is his own just as much +as Falstaff belongs to Shakespeare, Sancho Panza to Cervantes, or +Panurge to Rabelais. Whether Sganarelle is a servant, a husband, the +father of Lucinde, the brother of Ariste, a guardian, a faggot-maker, +a doctor, he always represents the ugly side of human nature, an +antiquated, grumpy, sullen, egotistical, jealous, grovelling, frightened +character, ever and anon raising a laugh on account of his boasting, +mean, morose, odd qualities. Molière was, at the time he wrote +_Sganarelle_, more than thirty years old, and could therefore +no longer successfully represent Mascarille as the rollicking servant +of the _Blunderer_. + +This farce was published by a certain Mr. Neufvillenaine, who was so +smitten by it that, after having seen it represented several times, he +knew it by heart, wrote it out, and published it, accompanied by a +running commentary, which is not worth much, and preceded by a letter to +a friend in which he extols its beauties. Molière got, in 1663, his name +inserted, instead of that of Neufvillenaine, in the _privilége du +roi_. + +Mr. Henry Baker, the translator of this play, in the "Select Comedies of +M. de Molière, London, 1732," oddly dedicates it to Miss Wolstenholme +[Footnote: I suppose the lady was a descendant of Sir John Wolstenholme, +mentioned in one of the notes of Pepy's Diary, Sept. 5, 1662, as created +a baronet, 1664, an intimate friend of Lord Clarendon's, and collector +outward for the Port of London--ob. 1679.] in the following words:-- + +MADAM, + +Be so good to accept this little Present as an Instance of my high +Esteem. Whoever has any Knowledge of the French Language, or any Taste +for COMEDY, must needs distinguish the Excellency of _Moliére's_ +Plays: one of which is here translated. What the _English_ may be, +I leave others to determine; but the ORIGINAL, which you receive along +with it, is, I am certain, worthy your Perusal. + +Tho' what You read, at present, is called a DEDICATION, it is, perhaps, +the most unlike one of any thing You ever saw: for, You'll find not one +Word, in Praise, either of Your blooming Youth, Your agreeable Person, +Your genteel Behaviour, Your easy Temper, or Your good Sense... and, the +Reason is, that I cannot for my Life bring myself to such a Degree of +Impertinence, as to sit down with a solemn Countenance, and Take upon me +to inform the World, that the Sun is bright, and that the Spring is +lovely. + +My Knowledge of You from Your Infancy, and the many Civilities I am +obliged for to Your Family, will, I hope, be an Excuse for this +Presumption in, + +MADAM, _Your most obedient humble servant_ + +H. B. + +Enfield, + +Jan. 1st 1731-2. + + +This play seems to have induced several English playwrights to imitate +it. First, we have Sir William D'Avenant's _The Playhouse to be +Let_, of which the date of the first performance is uncertain. +According to the Biographia Britannica, it was "a very singular +entertainment, composed of five acts, each being a distinct performance. +The first act is introductory, shows the distress of the players in the +time of vacation, that obliges them to let their house, which several +offer to take for different purposes; amongst the rest a Frenchman, who +had brought over a troop of his countrymen to act a farce. This is +performed in the second act, which is a translation of Moliére's +_Sganarelle, or the Cuckold Conceit_; all in broken French to make +the people laugh. The third act is a sort of comic opera, under the +title of The History of Sir Francis Drake. The fourth act is a serious +opera, representing the cruelties of the Spaniards in Peru. The fifth +act is a burlesque in Heroicks on the Amours of Cæsar and Cleopatra, has +a great deal of wit and humour, and was often acted afterwards by +itself." + +With the exception of the first act, all the others, which are separate +and distinct, but short dramatic pieces, were written in the time of +Oliver Cromwell, and two of them at least were performed at the Cockpit, +when Sir William D'Avenant had obtained permission to present his +entertainments of music and perspective in scenes. + +The second imitation of _Sganarelle_ is "_Tom Essence, or the +Modish Wife_, a Comedy as it is acted at the Duke's Theatre, 1677. +London, printed by T. M. for W. Cademan, at the _Pope's Head_, in +the Lower Walk of the _New Exchange_ in the _Strand_, 1677." +This play is written by a Mr. Thomas Rawlins, printer and engraver to +the Mint, under Charles the First and Second, and is founded on two +French comedies---viz., Molière's _Sganarelle_, and Thomas +Corneille's _Don César d' Avalos_. The prologue is too bad to be +quoted, and I doubt if it can ever have been spoken on any stage. This +play is written partly in blank verse, partly in prose; though very +coarse, it is, on the whole, clever and witty. Old Moneylove, a +credulous fool, who has a young wife (Act ii., Scene I), reminds one at +times of the senator Antonio in Otway's _Venice Preserved_, and is, +of course, deceived by the gallant Stanley; the sayings and doings of +Mrs. Moneylove, who is "what she ought not to be," and the way she +tricks her husband, are very racy, perhaps too much so for the taste of +the present times. I do not think any dramatist would now bring upon the +stage a young lady like Theodocia, daughter of old Moneylove, reading +the list about Squire Careless. Tom Essence is a seller of perfumes, a +"jealous coxcomb of his wife;" and Courtly is "a sober gentleman, +servant to Theodocia;" these are imitations of Sganarelle and Lelio. +Loveall, "a wilde debaucht blade," and Mrs. Luce, "a widdow disguis'd, +and passes for Theodocia's maid," are taken from Corneille. + +In the epilogue, the whole of which cannot be given, Mrs, Essence speaks +the following lines: + + "But now methinks a Cloak-Cabal I see, + Whose Prick-ears glow, whilst they their Jealousie + In _Essence_ find; but Citty-Sirs, I fear, + Most of you have more cause to be severe. + We yield you are the truest Character." + + +Nearly all the scenes imitated in this play from Molière's +_Sganarelle_ contain nothing which merits to be reproduced. + +_The Perplexed Couple, or Mistake upon Mistake_, as it is acted at +the New Theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields, by the Company of Comedians, +acting under Letters Patent granted by King Charles the Second. London, +Printed for _W. Meares_ at the _Lamb_, and _F. Brown_, at +the _Black Swan_ without _Temple Bar_, 1715, is the third +imitation of Molière's _Sganarelle_. This comedy, printed for two +gentlemen, with zoological signs, was written by a Mr. Charles Molloy, +who for a long time was the editor of a well-known paper, _Common +Sense_, in defence of Tory principles. This play had little success, +and deserved to have had none, for it has no merit whatever. Our author +states in the prologue:-- + + "The injur'd Muses, who with savage Rage, + Of late have often been expell'd a Tyrant Stage, + Here fly for Refuge; where, secure from Harms, + By you protected, shall display their Charms... + No Jest profane the guilty scene deforms, + That impious way of being dull he scorns; + No Party Cant shall here inflame the Mind, + And poison what for Pleasure was designed." + + +Mr. Molloy admits in the preface that "the Incident of the Picture in +the Third act, something in the Fourth, and one Hint in the last Act, +are taken from the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the rest I'm forced to +subscribe to myself, for I can lay it to no Body else." I shall only +remark on this, that nearly the whole play is a mere paraphrasing of +Molière's _Cocu Imaginaire_, and several other of his plays. The +scene between Leonora, the heroine, and Sterling, the old usurer and +lover (Act I.), is imitated from Madelon's description in the art of +making love in the _Pretentious Young Ladies_, and so are many +others. The servant Crispin is a medley of Mascarille from _The +Blunderer_, of Gros-René from _The Love-Tiff_, and of the +servant of the same name in the _Cocu Imaginaire_; the interfering +uncle of Lady Thinwit, is taken from _George Dandin_, whilst Sir +Anthony Tainwit becomes Sganarelle. The only thing new I have been able +to discover in _The Perplexed Couple_ is the lover Octavio +disguising himself as a pedlar to gain admittance to the object of his +love; and old Sterling, the usurer, marrying the maid instead of the +mistress. Molière's farce has been lengthened by those means into a +five-act comedy, and though "no jest profane" may be found in it it is +more full than usual of coarse and lewd sayings, which can hardly be +called inuendoes. The play is a mistake altogether; perhaps that is the +reason, its second name is called _Mistake upon Mistake_. + +_The Picture, or the Cuckold in Conceit_, a Comedy in one act, by +Js. Miller, is founded on Molière, and is the fourth imitation of +_Sganarelle_. London, MDCCXLV. This play is, on the whole, a free +translation of Molière's, interspersed with some songs set to music by +Dr. Arne. Sganarelle is called Mr. Timothy Dotterel, grocer and common +councilman; Gorgibus, Mr. Per-cent; Lelio, Mr. Heartly; Gros-René, John +Broad, whilst Celia's maid is called Phillis. The Prologue, spoken by +Mr. Havard, ends thus: + + "...To-night we serve + A Cuckold, that the Laugh does well deserve; + A Cuckold in Conceit, by Fancy made + As mad, as by the common Course of Trade: + And more to please ye, and his Worth enhance, + He's carbonado'd a la mode de France; + Cook'd by Molière, great Master of his Trade, + From whose Receipt this Harrico was made. + But if that poignant Taste we fail to take, + That something, that a mere Receipt can't make; + Forgive the Failure--we're but Copies all, + And want the Spirit of th' Original." + + +The fifth and best imitation is Arthur Murphy's _All in the Wrong_, +a comedy in five acts, first performed during the summer season of 1761, +at the Theatre Royal, in Drury Lane. Though the chief idea and several +of the scenes are taken from _Sganarelle_, yet the characters are +well drawn, and the play, as a whole, very entertaining. The Prologue, +written and spoken by Samuel Foote, is as follows: + + "To-night, be it known to Box, Gall'ry, and Pit, + Will be open'd the best Summer-Warehouse for Wit; + +[Footnote: Mr. Garrick, at this time, had let his playhouse for the +summer months.] + + The New Manufacture, Foote and Co., Undertakers; + Play, Pantomime, Opera, Farce,--by the Makers! + We scorn, like our brethren, our fortunes to owe + To Shakespeare and Southern, to Otway and Rowe. + Though our judgment may err, yet our justice is shewn, + For we promise to mangle no works but our own. + And moreover on this you may firmly rely, + If we can't make you laugh, that we won't make you cry. + For Roscius, who knew we were mirth-loving souls, + Has lock'd up his lightning, his daggers, and bowls. + Resolv'd that in buskins no hero shall stalk, + He has shut us quite out of the Tragedy walk. + No blood, no blank verse!--and in short we're undone, + Unless you're contented with Frolic and Fun. + If tired of her round in the Ranelagh-mill, + There should be but one female inclined to sit still; + If blind to the beauties, or sick of the squall, + A party should shun to catch cold at Vauxhall; + If at Sadler's sweet Wells the made wine should be thick, + The cheese-cakes turn sour, or Miss Wilkinson sick; + If the fume of the pipes should oppress you in June, + Or the tumblers be lame, or the bells out of tune; + I hope you will call at our warehouse in Drury; + We've a curious assortment of goods, I assure you; + Domestic and foreign, and all kinds of wares; + English cloths, Irish linnen, and French petenlairs! + If for want of good custom, or losses in trade, + The poetical partners should bankrupts be made; + If from dealings too large, we plunge deeply in debt, + And Whereas issue out in the Muses Gazette; + We'll on you our assigns for Certificates call; + Though insolvent, we're honest, and give up our all." + + +Otway in his very indecent play, _The Soldier's Fortune_, performed +at Dorset Garden, 1681, has borrowed freely from Molière; namely: one +scene from _Sganarelle_, four scenes from _The School for +Husbands_, and a hint from _The School for Wives_. + +The joke from _The Pretentious Young Ladies_, Scene xii., page 162, +about "the half moon and the full moon" is repeated in the conversation +between Fourbin and Bloody-Bones in _The Soldier's Fortune_. + +Sir John Vanbrugh also translated Molière's _Sganarelle_, which was +performed at the Queen's Theatre in the Haymarket, 1706, but has not +been printed. + +There was also a ballad opera played at Drury Lane April 11, 1733, +called the _Imaginary Cuckold_, which is an imitation of +_Sganarelle_. + + + + + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONÆ + + +GORGIBUS, _a citizen of Paris_. + +LELIO, _in love with Celia_. + +SGANARELLE, _a citizen of Paris and the self-deceived husband_. + +[Footnote: Molière acted this part himself. In the inventory of his +dresses taken after his death, and given by M. Eudore Soulié in his +_Recherches sur Molière_, 1863. we find: "a ... dress for the +_Cocu imaginaire_, consisting of knee-breeches, doublet, cloak, +collar, and shoes, all in crimson red satin."] + +VILLEBREQUIN, _father to Valère_. + +GROS-RENÉ, _servant to Lelio_. + +A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + +CELIA, _daughter of Gorgibus_. + +SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + +CELIA'S MAID. + +_Scene_.--A PUBLICK PLACE IN PARIS. + + + + + + +SGANARELLE: OR THE SELF-DECEIVED HUSBAND, + +(_SGANARELLE: OU LE COCU IMAGINAIRE_.) + + + + +SCENE I.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID. + + +CEL. (_Coming out in tears, her father following her_). Ah! never +expect my heart to consent to that. + +GORG. What do you mutter, you little impertinent girl? Do you suppose +you can thwart my resolution? Have I not absolute power over you? +And shall your youthful brain control my fatherly discretion by foolish +arguments? Which of us two has most right to command the other? Which of +us two, you or I, is, in your opinion, best able to judge what is +advantageous for you? Zounds, do not provoke me too much, or you may +feel, and in a very short time too, what strength this arm of mine still +possesses! Your shortest way, you obstinate minx, would be to accept +without any more ado the husband intended for you; but you say, +"I do not know what kind of temper he has, and I ought to think about +it beforehand, if you will allow me." I know that he is heir to a large +fortune; ought I therefore to trouble my head about anything else? +Can this man, who has twenty thousand golden charms in his pocket to be +beloved by you, want any accomplishments? Come, come, let him be what he +will, I promise you that with such a sum he is a very worthy gentleman! + +CEL. Alas! + +GORG. Alas, indeed! What is the meaning of that? +A fine alas you have uttered just now! Look ye! If once you put me in a +passion you will have plenty of opportunities for shouting alas! This +comes of that eagerness of yours to read novels day and night; your head +is so full of all kinds of nonsense about love, that you talk of God +much less than of Clélie. Throw into the fire all these mischievous +books, which are every day corrupting the minds of so many young people; +instead of such trumpery, read, as you ought to do, the Quatrains of +Pibrac and the learned memorandum-books of Councillor Matthieu, + +[Footnote: Gui du Faur de Pibrac (1528-1584) was a distinguished +diplomatist, magistrate, and orator, who wrote several works, of which +the _Cinquante quatrains contenant préceptes et enseignements utiles +pour la vie de l'homme, composes à l'imitation de Phocylides, +Epicharmus, et autres poétes grecs_, and which number he afterwards +increased to 126, are the best known. These quatrains, or couplets of +four verses, have been translated into nearly all European and several +Eastern languages. A most elegant reprint has been published of them, in +1874, by M. A. Lemetre, of Paris.] + +[Footnote: Pierre Matthieu (1563--1621), a French historian and poet +wrote, among other works, his _Tablettes de la vie et de la mort, +quatrains de la Vanité du Monde_, a collection of 274 moral +quatrains, divided in three parts, each part of which was published +separately in an oblong shape, like a memorandum book; hence the name +_Tablettes_.] + +a valuable work and full of fine sayings for you to learn by heart; +the Guide for Sinners + +[Footnote: _La guide des pécheurs_, the Guide for Sinners, is a +translation in French of an ascetic Spanish work, _la guia de +pecadores_, written by a Dominican friar, Lewis, of Granada.] + +is also a good book. Such writings teach people in a short time how to +spend their lives well, and if you had never read anything but such +moral books you would have known better how to submit to my commands. + +CEL. Do you suppose, dear father, I can ever forget that unchangeable +affection I owe to Lelio? I should be wrong to dispose of my hand +against your will, but you yourself engaged me to him. + +GORG. Even if you were engaged ever so much, another man has made his +appearance whose fortune annuls your engagement. Lelio is a pretty +fellow, but learn that there is nothing that does not give way to money, +that gold will make even the most ugly charming, and that without it +everything else is but wretchedness. I believe you are not very fond of +Valère, but though you do not like him as a lover, you will like him as +a husband. The very name of husband endears a man more than is generally +supposed, and love is often a consequence of marriage. But what a fool I +am to stand arguing when I possess the absolute right to command. +A truce then, I tell you, to your impertinence; let me have no more of +your foolish complaints. This evening Valère intends to visit you, and +if you do not receive him well, and look kindly upon him, I shall... +but I will say no more on this subject. + + + + +SCENE II.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID. + + +MAID. What, madam! you refuse positively what so many other people would +accept with all their heart! You answer with tears a proposal for +marriage, and delay for a long time to say a "yes" so agreeable to hear! +Alas! why does some one not wish to marry me? I should not need much +entreaty: and so far from thinking it any trouble to say "yes" once, +believe me I would very quickly say it a dozen times. Your brother's +tutor was quite right when, as we were talking about worldly affairs, he +said, "A woman is like the ivy, which grows luxuriantly whilst it clings +closely to the tree, but never thrives if it be separated from it." +Nothing can be truer, my dear mistress, and I, miserable sinner, have +found it out. Heaven rest the soul of my poor Martin! when he was alive +my complexion was like a cherub's; I was plump and comely, my eyes +sparkled brightly, and I felt happy: now I am doleful. In those pleasant +times, which flew away like lightning, I went to bed, in the very depth +of winter, without kindling a fire in the room; even airing the sheets +appeared then to me ridiculous; but now I shiver even in the dogdays. In +short, madam, believe me there is nothing like having a husband at night +by one's side, were it only for the pleasure of hearing him say, "God +bless you," whenever one may happen to sneeze. + +CEL. Can you advise me to act so wickedly as to forsake Lelio and take +up with this ill-shaped fellow? + +MAID. Upon my word, your Lelio is a mere fool to stay away the very time +he is wanted; his long absence makes me very much suspect some change in +his affection. + +GEL. (_showing her the portrait of Lelio_). Oh! do not distress me +by such dire forebodings! Observe carefully the features of his face; +they swear to me an eternal affection; after all, I would not willingly +believe them to tell a falsehood, but that he is such as he is here +limned by art, and that his affection for me remains unchanged. + +MAID. To be sure, these features denote a deserving lover, whom you are +right to regard tenderly. + +CEL. And yet I must--Ah! support me. + (_She lets fall the portrait of Lelio_.) + +MAID. Madam, what is the cause of... Heavens! she swoons. Oh! make +haste! help! help! + + + + +SCENE III.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, CELIA'S MAID. + + +SGAN. What is the matter? I am here. + +MAID. My lady is dying. + +SGAN. What! is that all? You made such a noise, I thought the world was +at an end. Let us see, however. Madam, are you dead? Um! she does not +say one word. + +MAID. I shall fetch somebody to carry her in; be kind enough to hold her +so long. + + + + +SCENE IV.--CELIA, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + + +SGAN. (_passing his hand over Celia's bosom_). She is cold all +over, and I do not know what to say to it. Let me draw a little nearer +and try whether she breathes or not. Upon my word, I cannot tell, but I +perceive still some signs of life. + +SGAN.'S WIFE, (_looking from the window_). Ah! what do I see? My +husband, holding in his arms... But I shall go down; he is false to me +most certainly; I should be glad to catch him. + +SGAN. She must be assisted very quickly; she would certainly be in the +wrong to die. A journey to another world is very foolish, so long as a +body is able to stay in this. (_He carries her in_). + + + + +SCENE V.--SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _alone_. + + +He has suddenly left this spot; his flight has disappointed my +curiosity; but I doubt no longer that he is unfaithful to me; the little +I have seen sufficiently proves it. I am no longer astonished that he +returns my modest love with strange coldness; the ungrateful wretch +reserves his caresses for others, and starves me in order to feed their +pleasures. This is the common way of husbands; they become indifferent +to what is lawful; at the beginning they do wonders, and seem to be very +much in love with us, but the wretches soon grow weary of our fondness, +and carry elsewhere what is due to us alone. Oh! how it vexes me that the +law will not permit us to change our husband as we do our linen! That +would be very convenient; and, troth, I know some women whom it would +please as much as myself. (_Taking up the picture which Celia had let +fall_). But what a pretty thing has fortune sent me here; the enamel +of it is most beautiful, the workmanship delightful; let me open it? + + + + +SCENE VI.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + + +SGAN. (_Thinking himself alone_). They thought her dead, but it was +nothing at all! She is already recovering and nearly well again. But I +see my wife. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Thinking herself alone_). O Heaven! It is a +miniature, a fine picture of a handsome man. + +SGAN. (_Aside, and looking over his wife's shoulder_). What is this +she looks at so closely? This picture bodes my honour little good. A +very ugly feeling of jealousy begins to creep over me. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Not seeing her husband_). I never saw anything more +beautiful in my life! The workmanship is even of greater value than the +gold! Oh, how sweet it smells! + +SGAN. (_Aside_). The deuce! She kisses it! I am victimized! + +SGAN.'S WIFE. (_Continues her Monologue_.) I think it must be a +charming thing to have such a fine-looking man for a sweetheart; if he +should urge his suit very much the temptation would be great. Alas! why +have I not a handsome man like this for my husband instead of my booby, +my clod-hopper...? + +SGAN. (_Snatching the portrait from her_). What, hussey! have I +caught you in the very act, slandering your honourable and darling +husband? According to you, most worthy spouse, and everything well +considered, the husband is not as good as the wife? In Beelzebub's name +(and may he fly away with you), what better match could you wish for? +Is there any fault to be found with me? It seems that this shape, this +air, which everybody admires; this face, so fit to inspire love, for +which a thousand fair ones sigh both night and day; in a word, my own +delightful self, by no manner of means pleases you. Moreover, to satisfy +your ravenous appetite you add to the husband the relish of a gallant. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. I see plainly the drift of your jocular remarks, though +you do not clearly express yourself. You expect by these means... + +SGAN. Try to impose upon others, not upon me, I pray you. The fact +is evident; I have in my hands a convincing proof of the injury I +complain of. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. I am already too angry, and do not wish you to make me +more so by any fresh insult. Hark ye, do not imagine that you shall keep +this pretty thing; consider... + +SGAN. I am seriously considering whether I shall break your neck. +I wish I had but the original of this portrait in my power as much +as I have the copy. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. Why? + +SGAN. For nothing at all, dear, sweet object of my love! I am very wrong +to speak out; my forehead ought to thank you for many favours received. +(_Looking at the portrait of Lelio_). There he is, your darling, +the pretty bed-fellow, the wicked incentive of your secret flame, the +merry blade with whom... + +SGAN.'S WIFE. With whom? Go on. + +SGAN. With whom, I say... I am almost bursting with vexation. + +[Footnote: The original has: "_j'en creve d'ennuis_." The French +word _ennui_, which now only means weariness of mind, signified +formerly injury, and the vexation or hatred caused thereby; something +like the English word "annoy," as in Shakespeare's Richard III., v. 3: + "Sleep, Richmond, sleep in peace, and wake in joy; + Good angels guard thee from the boar's annoy."] + + +SGAN.'S WIFE. What does the drunken sot mean by all this? + +SGAN. You know but too well, Mrs. Impudence. No one will call me any +longer Sganarelle, but every one will give me the title of Signor +Cornutus; my honor is gone, but to reward you, who took it from me, I +shall at the very least break you an arm or a couple of ribs. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. How dare you talk to me thus? + +SGAN. How dare you play me these devilish pranks? + +SGAN.'S WIFE. What devilish pranks? Say what you mean. + +SGAN. Oh! It is not worth complaining of. A stag's top-knot on my head +is indeed a very pretty ornament for everybody to come and look at. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. After you have insulted your wife so grossly as to excite +her thirst for vengeance, you stupidly imagine you can prevent the +effects of it by pretending to be angry? Such insolence was never before +known on the like occasion. The offender is the person who begins the +quarrel. + +SGAN. Oh! what a shameless creature! To see the confident behaviour of +this woman, would not any one suppose her to be very virtuous? + +SGAN.'S WIFE. Away, go about your business, wheedle your mistresses, +tell them you love them, caress them even, but give me back my picture, +and do not make a jest of me. (_She snatches the picture from him and +runs away_). + +SGAN. So you think to escape me; but I shall get hold of it again in +spite of you. + + + + +SCENE VII.--LELIO, GROS-RENÉ. + + +GR.-RE. Here we are at last; but, sir, if I might be so bold, I should +like you to tell me one thing. + +LEL. Well, speak. + +GR.-RE. Are you possessed by some devil or other, that you do not sink +under such fatigues as these? For eight whole days we have been riding +long stages, and have not been sparing of whip and spur to urge on +confounded screws, whose cursed trot shook us so very much that, for my +part, I feel as if every limb was out of joint; without mentioning a +worse mishap which troubles me very much in a place I will not mention. +And yet, no sooner are you at your journey's end, than you go out well +and hearty, without taking rest, or eating the least morsel. + +LEL. My haste may well be excused, for I am greatly alarmed about the +report of Celia's marriage. You know I adore her, and, before +everything, I wish to hear if there is any truth in this ominous rumour. + +GR.-RE. Ay, sir, but a good meal would be of great use to you to +discover the truth or falsehood of this report; doubtless you would +become thereby much stronger to withstand the strokes of fate. I judge +by my own self, for, when I am fasting, the smallest disappointment gets +hold of me and pulls me down; but when I have eaten sufficiently my soul +can resist anything, and the greatest misfortunes cannot depress it. +Believe me, stuff yourself well, and do not be too cautious. To fortify +you under whatever misfortune may do, and in order to prevent sorrow +from entering your heart, let it float in plenty of wine. + +[Footnote: This is an imitation of Plautus' _Curculio, or the +Forgery_. The Parasite of Phæaedromus, who gave his name to the +piece, says (ii. 3):--"I am quite undone. I can hardly see; my mouth is +bitter; my teeth are blunted; my jaws are clammy through fasting; with +my entrails thus lank with abstinence from food, am I come... Let's cram +down something first; the gammon, the udder, and the kernels; these are +the foundations for the stomach, with head and roast-beef, a good-sized +cup and a capacious pot, that council enough may be forthcoming."] + +LEL. I cannot eat. + +GR.-RE. (_Aside_). I can eat very well indeed; If it is not true +may I be struck dead! (_Aloud_). For all that, your dinner shall be +ready presently. + +LEL. Hold your tongue, I command you. + +GR.-RE. How barbarous is that order! + +LEL. I am not hungry, but uneasy. + +GR.-RE. And I am hungry and uneasy as well, to see that a foolish +love-affair engrosses all your thoughts. + +[Footnote: Shakespeare, in _The Two Gentlemen of Verona_ +(Act ii., Sc. I), has the following: + _Speed_. ...Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time. + _Val_. I have dined. + _Speed_. Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon, love, can + feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would + fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.] + +LEL. Let me but get some information about my heart's delight, and +without troubling me more, go and take your meal if you like. + +GR.-RE. I never say nay when a master commands. + + + + +SCENE VIII.--LELIO, _alone_. + + +No, no, my mind is tormented by too many terrors; the father has +promised me Celia's hand, and she has given me such proofs of her love +that I need not despair. + + + + +SCENE IX.--SGANARELLE, LELIO. + + +SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio, and holding the portrait in his hand_). +I have got it. I can now at my leisure look at the countenance of the +rascal who causes my dishonour. I do not know him at all. + +LEL. (_Aside_). Heavens! what do I see? If that be my picture, what +then must I believe? + +SGAN. (_Not seeing Lelio_). Ah! poor Sganarelle! your reputation is +doomed, and to what a sad fate! Must... (_Perceiving that Lelio +observes him he goes to the other side of the stage_). + +LEL. (_Aside_). This pledge of my love cannot have left the fair +hands to which I gave it, without startling my faith in her. + +SGAN. (_Aside_). People will make fun of me henceforth by holding +up their two fingers; songs will be made about me, and every time they +will fling in my teeth that scandalous affront, which a wicked wife has +printed upon my forehead. + +LEL. (_Aside_). Do I deceive myself? + +SGAN. (_Aside_). Oh! Jade! + +[Footnote: The original is _truande_, which, as well as the +masculine _truand_, meant, in old French, a vagabond, a rascal; it +is still retained in the English phrase "to play the truant."] + +were you impudent enough to cuckold me in the flower of my age? The +wife too of a husband who may be reckoned handsome! and must be a +monkey, a cursed addle-pated fellow... + +LEL. (_Aside, looking still at the portrait in Sganarelle's hand_). +I am not mistaken; it is my very picture. + +SGAN. (_Turning his back towards him_). This man seems very +inquisitive. + +LEL. (_Aside_). I am very much surprised. + +SGAN. What would he be at? + +LEL. (_Aside_). I will speak to him. (_Aloud_). May I... +(_Sganarelle goes farther off_). I say, let me have one word with +you. + +SGAN. (_Aside, and moving still farther_). What does he wish to +tell me now? + +LEL. Will you inform me by what accident that picture came into your +hands? + +SGAN. (_Aside_). Why does he wish to know? But I am thinking... +(_Looking at Lelio and at the portrait in his hand_). Oh! upon my +word, I know the cause of his anxiety; I no longer wonder at his +surprise. This is my man, or rather, my wife's man. + +LEL. Pray, relieve my distracted mind, and tell me how you come by... + +SGAN. Thank Heaven, I know what disturbs you; this portrait, which +causes you some uneasiness, is your very likeness, and was found in the +hands of a certain acquaintance of yours; the soft endearments which +have passed between that lady and you are no secret to me. I cannot tell +whether I have the honour to be known by your gallant lordship in this +piece of gallantry; but henceforth, be kind enough to break off an +intrigue, which a husband may not approve of; and consider that the holy +bonds of wedlock... + +LEL. What do you say? She from whom you received this pledge... + +SGAN. Is my wife, and I am her husband. + +LEL. Her husband? + +SGAN. Yes, her husband, I tell you. Though married I am far from merry; +you, sir, know the reason of it; this very moment I am going to inform +her relatives about this affair. + +[Footnote: The original has _mari-tres-marri_; literally, "husband +very sad;" _marri_ being the old French for sad: the ancient plays +and tales are full of allusions to the connection between these two words, +_mari_ and _marri_.] + + + + +SCENE X.--LELIO, _alone_. + + +Alas! what have I heard! The report then was true that her husband was +the ugliest of all his sex. Even if your faithless lips had never sworn +me more than a thousand times eternal love, the disgust you should have +felt at such a base and shameful choice might have sufficiently secured +me against the loss of your affection... But this great insult, and the +fatigues of a pretty long journey, produce all at once such a violent +effect upon me, that I feel faint, and can hardly bear up under it. + + + + +SCENE XI.--LELIO, SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + + +SGAN.'S WIFE. In spite of me, my wretch... (_Seeing Lelio_). Good +lack! what ails you? I perceive, sir, you are ready to faint away. + +LEL. It is an illness that has attacked me quite suddenly. + +SGAN'S WIFE. I am afraid you shall faint; step in here, and stay until +you are better. + +LEL. For a moment or two I will accept of your kindness. + + + + +SCENE XII.--SGANARELLE, A RELATIVE OF SGANARELLE'S WIFE. + + +REL. I commend a husband's anxiety in such a case, but you take fright a +little too hastily. All that you have told me against her, kinsman, does +not prove her guilty. It is a delicate subject, and no one should ever +be accused of such a crime unless it can be fully proved. + +SGAN. That is to say, unless you see it. + +REL. Too much haste leads us to commit mistakes. Who can tell how this +picture came into her hands, and, after all, whether she knows the man? +Seek a little more information, and if it proves to be as you suspect, I +shall be one of the first to punish her offence. + + + + +SCENE XIII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_. + + +Nothing could be said fairer; it is really the best way to proceed +cautiously. Perhaps I have dreamt of horns without any cause, and the +perspiration has covered my brow rather prematurely. My dishonour is not +at all proved by that portrait which frightened me so much. Let me +endeavour then by care... + + + + +SCENE XIV.--SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, _standing at the door of +her house, with_ LELIO. + + +SGAN. (_Aside seeing them_). Ha! what do I see? Zounds! there can +be no more question about the portrait, for upon my word here stands the +very man, in _propria persona_. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. You hurry away too fast, sir; if you leave us so quickly, +you may perhaps have a return of your illness. + +LEL. No, no, I thank you heartily for the kind assistance you have +rendered me. + +SGAN. (_Aside_). The deceitful woman is to the last polite to him. +(_Sganarelle's Wife goes into the house again_). + + + + +SCENE XV.--SGANARELLE, LELIO. + + +SGAN. He has seen me, let us hear what he can say to me. + +LEL. (_Aside_). Oh! my soul is moved! this sight inspires me +with... but I ought to blame this unjust resentment, and only ascribe my +sufferings to my merciless fate; yet I cannot help envying the success +that has crowned his passion. (_Approaching Sganarelle_). O too +happy mortal in having so beautiful a wife. + + + + +SCENE XVI.--SGANARELLE, CELIA, _at her window, seeing Lelio go away_. + + +SGAN. (_Alone_). This confession is pretty plain. His extraordinary +speech surprises me as much as if horns had grown upon my head. +(_Looking at the side where Lelio went off_). Go your way, you have +not acted at all like an honourable man. + +CEL. (_Aside, entering_). Who can that be? Just now I saw Lelio. +Why does he conceal his return from me? + +SGAN. (_Without seeing Celia_). "O too happy mortal in having +so beautiful a wife!" Say rather, unhappy mortal in having such a +disgraceful spouse through whose guilty passion, it is now but too +clear, I have been cuckolded without any feeling of compassion. +Yet I allow him to go away after such a discovery, and stand with +my arms folded like a regular silly-billy! I ought at least to have +knocked his hat off, thrown stones at him, or mud on his cloak; to +satisfy my wrath I should rouse the whole neighbourhood, and cry, +"Stop, thief of my honour!" + +CEL. (_To Sganarelle_). Pray, sir, how came you to know this +gentleman who went away just now and spoke to you? + +SGAN. Alas! madam, it is not I who am acquainted with him; it is my wife. + +CEL. What emotion thus disturbs your mind? + +SGAN. Do not blame me; I have sufficient cause for my sorrow; permit me +to breathe plenty of sighs. + +CEL. What can be the reason of this uncommon grief? + +SGAN. If I am sad it is not for a trifle: I challenge other people not +to grieve, if they found themselves in my condition. You see in me the +model of unhappy husbands. Poor Sganarelle's honour is taken from him; +but the loss of my honour would be small--they deprive me of my +reputation also. + +CEL. How do they do that? + +SGAN. That fop has taken the liberty to cuckold me--saving your +presence, madam--and this very day my own eyes have been witness to a +private interview between him and my wife. + +CEL. What? He who just now... + +SGAN. Ay, ay, it is he who brings disgrace upon me; he is in love with +my wife, and my wife is in love with him. + +CEL. Ah! I find I was right when I thought his returning secretly only +concealed some base design; I trembled the minute I saw him, from a sad +foreboding of what would happen. + +SGAN. You espouse my cause with too much kindness, but everybody is +not so charitably disposed; for many, who have already heard of my +sufferings, so far from taking my part, only laugh at me. + +CEL. Can anything be more base than this vile deed? or can a punishment +be discovered such as he deserves? Does he think he is worthy to live, +after polluting himself with such treachery? O Heaven! is it possible? + +SGAN. It is but too true. + +CEL. O traitor, villain, deceitful, faithless wretch! + +SGAN. What a kind-hearted creature! + +CEL. No, no, hell has not tortures enough to punish you sufficiently +for your guilt! + +SGAN. How well she talks! + +CEL. Thus to abuse both innocence and goodness! + +SGAN. (_Sighing aloud_). Ah! + +CEL. A heart which never did the slightest action deserving of being +treated with such insult and contempt. + +SGAN. That's true. + +CEL. Who far from... but it is too much; nor can this heart endure the +thought of it without feeling on the rack. + +SGAN. My dear lady, do not distress yourself so much; it pierces my very +soul to see you grieve so at my misfortune. + +CEL. But do not deceive yourself so far as to fancy that I shall sit +down and do nothing but lament; no, my heart knows how to act in order +to be avenged; nothing can divert me from it; I go to prepare everything. + + + + +SCENE XVII.--SGANARELLE, _alone_. + + +May Heaven keep her for ever out of harm's way! How kind of her to wish +to avenge me! Her anger at my dishonour plainly teaches me how to act. +Nobody should bear such affronts as these tamely, unless indeed he be a +fool. Let us therefore hasten to hunt out this rascal who has insulted +me, and let me prove my courage by avenging my dishonour. + +[Footnote: A similar adventure is told of the renowned fabulist +La Fontaine. One day some one informed him that Poignan, a retired +captain of dragoons and one of his friends, was by far too intimate +with Madame La Fontaine, and that to avenge his dishonour he ought to +fight a duel with him. La Fontaine calls upon Poignan at four o'clock +in the morning, tells him to dress, takes him out of town, and then +coolly says "that he has been advised to fight a duel with him in order +to avenge his wounded honour." Soon La Fontaine's sword flies out of his +hand, the friends go to breakfast, and the whole affair is at an end.] + +I will teach you, you rogue, to laugh at my expense, and to cuckold +people without showing them any respect. (_After going three or four +steps he comes back again_.) But gently, if you please, this man looks +as if he were very hot-headed and passionate; he may, perhaps, heaping +one insult upon another, ornament my back as well as he has done my brow. + +[Footnote: In the original there is a play on words which cannot be +rendered in English. _Il pourrait bien ... charger de bois mon dos +comme, il a fait mort front_. _Bois_ means "stick" and "stags' +antlers."] + +I detest, from the bottom of my heart, these fiery tempers, and vastly +prefer peaceable people. I do not care to beat for fear of being beaten; +a gentle disposition was always my predominant virtue: But my honour +tells me that it is absolutely necessary I should avenge such an outrage +as this. Let honour say whatever it likes, the deuce take him who +listens. Suppose now I should play the hero, and receive for my pains an +ugly thrust with a piece of cold steel quite through my stomach; when +the news of my death spreads through the whole town, tell me then, my +honour, shall you be the better of it. + +[Footnote: Compare in Shakespeare's _Part First of King Henry IV_. +v. I, Falstaff's speech about honour.] + +The grave is too melancholy an abode, and too unwholesome for people who +are afraid of the colic; as for me, I find, all things considered, that +it is, after all, better to be a cuckold than to be dead. What harm is +there in it? Does it make a man's legs crooked? does it spoil his shape? +The plague take him who first invented being grieved about such a +delusion, linking the honour of the wisest man to anything a fickle +woman may do. Since every person is rightly held responsible for his own +crimes, how can our honour, in this case, be considered criminal? We are +blamed for the actions of other people. If our wives have an intrigue +with any man, without our knowledge, all the mischief must fall upon our +backs; they commit the crime and we are reckoned guilty. It is a +villainous abuse, and indeed Government should remedy such injustice. +Have we not enough of other accidents that happen to us whether we like +them or not? Do not quarrels, lawsuits, hunger, thirst, and sickness +sufficiently disturb the even tenour of our lives? and yet we must +stupidly get it into our heads to grieve about something which has no +foundation. Let us laugh at it, despise such idle fears, and be above +sighs and tears. If my wife has done amiss, let her cry as much as she +likes, but why should I weep when I have done no wrong? After all, I am +not the only one of my fraternity, and that should console me a little. +Many people of rank see their wives cajoled, and do not say a word about +it. Why should I then try to pick a quarrel for an affront, which is but +a mere trifle? They will call me a fool for not avenging myself, but I +should be a much greater fool to rush on my own destruction. (_Putting +his hand upon his stomach_). I feel, however, my bile is stirred up +here; it almost persuades me to do some manly action. Ay, anger gets the +better of me; it is rather too much of a good thing to be a coward too! +I am resolved to be revenged upon the thief of my honour. Full of the +passion which excites my ardour, and in order to make a beginning, +I shall go and tell everywhere that he lies with my wife. + + + + +SCENE XVIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID. + + +CEL. Yes, I will yield willingly to so just a law, father; you can +freely dispose of my heart and my hand; I will sign the marriage +contract whenever you please, for I am now determined to perform my +duty. I can command my own inclinations, and shall do whatever you +order me. + +GORG. How she pleases me by talking in this manner! Upon my word! I am +so delighted that I would immediately cut a caper or two, were people +not looking on, who would laugh at it. Come hither, I say, and let me +embrace you; there is no harm in that; a father may kiss his daughter +whenever he likes, without giving any occasion for scandal. Well, the +satisfaction of seeing you so obedient has made me twenty years younger. + + + + +SCENE XIX.--CELIA, CELIA'S MAID. + + +MAID. This change surprises me. + +CEL. When you come to know why I act thus, you will esteem me for it. + +MAID. Perhaps so. + +CEL. Know then that Lelio has wounded my heart by his treacherous +behaviour, and has been in this neighbourhood without... + +MAID. Here he comes. + + + + +SCENE XX.--LELIO, CELIA, CELIA'S MAID. + + +LEL. Before I take my leave of you for ever, I will at least here tell +you that... + +CEL. What! are you insolent enough to speak to me again? + +LEL. I own my insolence is great, and yet your choice is such I should +not be greatly to blame if I upbraided you. Live, live contented, and +laugh when you think of me, as well as your worthy husband, of whom you +have reason to be proud. + +CEL. Yes, traitor, I will live so, and I trust most earnestly that the +thought of my happiness may disturb you. + +LEL. Why this outbreak of passion? + +CEL. You pretend to be surprised, and ask what crimes you have committed? + + + + +SCENE XXI.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE _armed cap-a-pié_, CELIA'S MAID. + + +SGAN. I wage war, a war of extermination against this robber of my +honour, who without mercy has sullied my fair name. + +CEL. (_To Lelio, pointing to Sganarelle_). Look on this man, and +then you will require no further answer. + +LEL. Ah! I see. + +CEL. A mere glance at him is sufficient to abash you. + +LEL. It ought rather to make you blush. + +SGAN. My wrath is now disposed to vent itself upon some one; my courage +is at its height; if I meet him, there will be blood shed. Yes, I have +sworn to kill him, nothing can keep me from doing so. Wherever I see him +I will dispatch him. (_Drawing his sword halfway and approaching +Lelio_). Right through the middle of his heart I shall thrust... + +LEL. (_Turning round_). Against whom do you bear such a grudge? + +SGAN. Against no one. + +LEL. Why are you thus in armour? + +SGAN. It is a dress I put on to keep the rain off. (_Aside_). Ah! +what a satisfaction it would be for me to kill him! Let us pluck up +courage to do it. + +LEL. (_Turning round again_). Hey? + +SGAN. I did not speak. (_Aside, boxing his own ears, and thumping +himself to raise his courage_). Ah! I am enraged at my own cowardice! +Chicken-hearted poltroon! + +CEL. What you have seen ought to satisfy you, but it appears to +offend you. + +LEL. Yes through him I know you are guilty of the greatest faithlessness +that ever wronged a faithful lover's heart, and for which no excuse can +be found. + +SGAN. (_Aside_). Why have I not a little more courage? + +CEL. Ah, traitor, speak not to me in so unmanly and insolent a manner. + +SGAN. (_Aside_). You see, Sganarelle, she takes up your quarrel: +courage, my lad, be a trifle vigorous. Now, be bold, try to make one +noble effort and kill him whilst his back is turned. + +LEL. (_Who has moved accidentally a few steps back, meets Sganarelle, +who was drawing near to kill him. The latter is frightened, and +retreats_). Since my words kindle your wrath, madam, I ought to show +my satisfaction with what your heart approves, and here commend the +lovely choice you have made. + +CEL. Yes, yes, my choice is such as cannot be blamed. + +LEL. You do well to defend it. + +SGAN. No doubt, she does well to defend my rights, but what you have +done, sir, is not according to the laws; I have reason to complain; +were I less discreet, much blood would be shed. + +LEL. Of what do you complain? And why this... + +SGAN. Do not say a word more. You know too well where the shoe pinches +me. But conscience and a care for your own soul should remind you that +my wife is my wife, and that to make her yours under my very nose is not +acting like a good Christian. + +LEL. Such a suspicion is mean and ridiculous! Harbour no scruples +on that point: I know she belongs to you; I am very far from being +in love with... + +CEL. Oh! traitor! how well you dissemble! + +LEL. What! do you imagine I foster a thought which need disturb his +mind? Would you slander me by accusing me of such a cowardly action? + +CEL. Speak, speak to himself; he can enlighten you. + +SGAN. (_To Celia_), No, no, you can argue much better than I can, +and have treated the matter in the right way. + + + + +SCENE XXII.--CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID. + + +SGAN.'S WIFE. (_To Celia_). I am not inclined, Madam, to show that +I am over-jealous; but I am no fool, and can see what is going on. +There are certain amours which appear very strange; you should be better +employed than in seducing a heart which ought to be mine alone. + +CEL. This declaration of her love is plain enough. + +[Footnote: Some commentators think it is Lelio who utters these words, +but they are clearly Celia's.] + +SGAN. (_To his wife_). Who sent for you, baggage? You come and +scold her because she takes my part, whilst you are afraid of losing +your gallant. + +CEL. Do not suppose anybody has a mind to him. (_Turning towards +Lelio_). You see whether I have told a falsehood, and I am very glad +of it. + +LEL. What can be the meaning of this? + +MAID. Upon my word, I do not know when this entanglement will be +unravelled. I have tried for a pretty long time to comprehend it, but +the more I hear the less I understand. Really I think I must interfere +at last. (_Placing herself between Lelio and Celia_). Answer me one +after another, and (_To Lelio_) allow me to ask what do you accuse +this lady of? + +LEL. That she broke her word and forsook me for another. As soon as I +heard she was going to be married I hastened hither, carried away by an +irrepressible love, and not believing I could be forgotten; but +discovered, when I arrived here, that she was married. + +MAID. Married! To whom? + +LEL. (_Pointing to Sganarelle_). To him. + +MAID. How! to him? + +LEL. Yes, to him. + +MAID. Who told you so? + +LEL. Himself, this very day. + +MAID. (_To Sganarelle_)Is this true? + +SGAN. I? I told him I was married to my own wife. + +LEL. Just now, whilst you looked at my picture, you seemed greatly moved. + +SGAN. True, here it is. + +LEL. (_To Sganarelle). You also told me that she, from whose hands +you had received this pledge of her love, was joined to you in the bonds +of wedlock. + +SGAN. No doubt (_pointing to his wife_), for I snatched it from +her, and should not have discovered her wickedness had I not done so. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. What do you mean by your groundless complaint? I found +this portrait at my feet by accident. After you had stormed without +telling me the cause of your rage, I saw this gentleman (_pointing to +Lelio_)nearly fainting, asked him to come in, but did not even then +discover that he was the original of the picture. + +CEL. I was the cause of the portrait being lost; I let it fall when +swooning, and when you (_to Sganarelle_) kindly carried me into +the house. + +MAID. You see that without my help you had still been at a loss, and +that you had some need of hellebore. + +[Footnote: Among the ancients the _helleborus officinalis_ or +_orientalis_ was held to cure insanity; hence the allusion.] + +SGAN. (_Aside_). Shall we believe all this? I have been very much +frightened for my brow. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. I have not quite recovered from my fear; however agreeable +credulity may be, I am both to be deceived. + +SGAN. (_To his wife_). Well, let us mutually suppose ourselves to +be people of honour. I risk more on my side than you do on yours; +accept, therefore, without much ado, what I propose. + +SGAN.'S WIFE. Be it so, but wo be to you if I discover anything. + +CEL. (_To Lelio, after whispering together_). Ye heavens! if it be +so, what have I done? I ought to fear the consequences of my own anger! +Thinking you false, and wishing to be avenged, I in an unhappy moment +complied with my father's wishes, and but a minute since engaged myself +to marry a man whose hand, until then, I always had refused. I have made +a promise to my father, and what grieves me most is... But I see him +coming. + +LEL. He shall keep his word with me. + + + + +SCENE XXIII.--GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, SGANARELLE'S WIFE, +CELIA'S MAID. + + +LEL. Sir, you see I have returned to this town, inflamed with the same +ardour, and now I suppose you will keep your promise, which made me hope +to marry Celia, and thus reward my intense love. + +GORG. Sir, whom I see returned to this town inflamed with the same +ardour, and who now supposes I will keep my promise, which made you hope +to marry Celia, and thus reward your intense love, I am your lordship's +very humble servant. + +LEL. What, sir, is it thus you frustrate my expectations? + +GORG. Ay, sir, it is thus I do my duty, and my daughter obeys me too. + +CEL. My duty compels me, father, to make good your promise to him. + +GORG. Is this obeying my commands as a daughter ought to do? Just now +you were very kindly disposed towards Valère, but you change quickly... +I see his father approaching, who certainly comes to arrange about the +marriage. + + + + +SCENE XXIV.--VILLEBREQUIN, GORGIBUS, CELIA, LELIO, SGANARELLE, +SGANARELLE'S WIFE, CELIA'S MAID. + + +GORG. What brings you hither, M. Villebrequin? + +VILL. An important secret, which I only discovered this morning, and +which completely prevents me from keeping the engagement I made with +you. My son, whom your daughter was going to espouse, has deceived +everybody, and been secretly married these four months past to Lise. +Her friends, her fortune, and her family connections, make it impossible +for me to break off this alliance; and hence I come to you.... + +GORG. Pray, say no more. If Valère has married some one else without +your permission, I cannot disguise from you, that I myself long ago, +promised my daughter Celia to Lelio, endowed with every virtue, and that +his return today prevents me from choosing any other husband for her. + +VILL. Such a choice pleases me very much. + +LEL. This honest intention will crown my days with eternal bliss. + +GORG. Let us go and fix the day for the wedding. + +SGAN. (_Alone_). Was there ever a man who had more cause to think +himself victimized? You perceive that in such matters the strongest +probability may create in the mind a wrong belief. Therefore remember, +never to believe anything even if you should see everything. + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Sganarelle, by Moliere + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SGANARELLE *** + +This file should be named 8sgnl10.txt or 8sgnl10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, 8sgnl11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, 8sgnl10a.txt + +Produced by David Garcia, David Moynihan +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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