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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..eeb4608 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #66588 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/66588) diff --git a/old/66588-0.txt b/old/66588-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 825dc95..0000000 --- a/old/66588-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,930 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Man-Sized Pet, by W. C. Tuttle - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: A Man-Sized Pet - -Author: W. C. Tuttle - -Release Date: October 21, 2021 [eBook #66588] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Roger Frank and Sue Clark - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN-SIZED PET *** - - - - - -A Man-Sized Pet - -by W. C. Tuttle - -Author of “Magpie’s Nightbear,” “A Bull Movement in Yellow Horse,” etc. - - -It was an incongruous group that sat around the rough pine table in -Magpie Simpkins’s cabin, and played pitch by the light of an old smoky -kerosene lamp. - -Magpie Simpkins, six feet two, slender to the point of emaciation, with -the face of a scholar above his walrus-like mustache, sat there peering -at his cards through the only pair of glasses on Sleeping Creek. - -Magpie had been to Missoula a short time before and at the earnest -solicitation of an optician had purchased a pair of glasses, sans bows, -which he fastened to his person through the medium of a wide silk -ribbon. At the present time he wore the ribbon around his neck for -safety. - -Tellurium Woods, the second of the trio, was as fat as any outdoor man -could ever expect to be, and his bald head and luxuriant brown beard -gave one the impression of looking at a billiard ball on a rug. -Tellurium affected buckskin shirts of his own manufacture and design, -and it was impossible to tell, at the neck, just where the shirt left -off and the skin began. - -Bantie Weyman was the exact opposite of the others. He was about five -feet two inches in height and would weigh about a hundred. He had a -soprano voice, a gold tooth, and took baths. In the latter he differed -from any one else on the range. - -Bantie wasn’t exactly a man’s man but he did a man’s work on his claim -in Bear Gulch and claimed to be the champion sourdough bread-maker of -the world. Bantie was timid--so timid that he wouldn’t pack a gun, and -the only armament of his cabin consisted of a .22 rifle with a section -of cleaning-rod broken off inside the barrel. - -These three represented the social column of Sleeping Creek. Their -cabins were situated within a radius of two miles, and in order to keep -up the social life of the district they had instituted a private pitch -club--two bits a corner and ten cents set back. The three were to -alternate as hosts. - -At this, their first session, there was a fourth party present. It -seemed very much interested in the hands held by Bantie, much to -Bantie’s embarrassment and to the huge delight of the others. Bantie -played the jack of diamonds and snorted loudly as Magpie took it with -the queen and a chuckle. - -“Magpie, yuh got to put that bear outside!” he shrilled. “He gits his -danged nose in m’ ear and I don’t know whether I’m playin’ th’ jack or -th’ ace! I got th’ ace--see? By golly! That sets me back three and -costs me ten cents! I ain’t goin’ to riffle another card until yuh puts -that emblem uh California out in th’ shed, _sabe_?” - -“Haw! Haw!” roared Tellurium. “Be uh man, Bantie. That pore li’l -grizzly won’t hurt yuh. Look at him! He’s plumb heart-broke over them -words, Bantie. While yore uh fair--jist fair--pitch player, Bantie, yuh -lacks something. If yuh was simply sloppy with th’ milk uh human -kindness like me and Magpie you’d git uh pet.” - -“That ultimatum,” replied Bantie, “covers that wolf uh yours under th’ -bunk, Tellurium. Every time I turns to spit I got to look into his -shinin’ eyes. Don’t th’ loafer never sleep?” - -“Well,” grinned Tellurium, “he ain’t no regular Rip Van Winkle, but he’s -tame--tame enough fer uh man. I believes in uh man-sized pet and fer -that reason I cottons to th’ wolf. Uh course he’s only good fer uh grown -man.” - -Bantie grunted and put on his coat. - -“My re-marks goes as she lays,” he stated. “I don’t play with no danged -menagerie. It’s bad enough to be whipsawed by uh pair uh snake-hunters -like you and Magpie but I draws th’ line at havin’ uh wolf under m’ feet -and uh grizzly workin’ down wind behind m’ ear. Why I----” - -“Say, Tellurium, did yuh ever see my bear dance?” interrupted Magpie. - -“He’s there four ways from th’ jack. Watch him now.” - -Magpie slid the table over against the wall and took a rusty gold-pan -from behind the stove. Using it as a tambourine, he began a shuffle on -the rough floor. - -The bear watched him for a minute and then with a squeal of delight got -up on its hind legs and began to prance around the cabin. Bantie forgot -his fear and began to shuffle too, while Tellurium sat with his feet -over the end of the bunk and sang “Annie Laurie” in a husky voice to the -tune of “A Hot Time.” - -Whether through accident or design the bear danced straight for the -shuffling Bantie, who was intent on watching his own toes. Bantie looked -up as the bear was almost against him and he stepped back hurriedly out -of harm’s way. At least he was out of the bear’s way but unfortunately -one of his boot heels landed squarely on the front foot of the wolf -under the bunk. - -A description of the rest of the action would be pure fiction as no one -in the cabin ever knew just what did happen. Suffice to say that when -the explosion was over Magpie was under the table, Tellurium was under -the bunk, the bear was whining up on the rafters, Bantie and the wolf -were gone and so was the one window to the cabin. - -It was probably ten minutes later that Bantie stuck his head into the -open window and panted: - -“My remarks still goes as she lays! I’ll play solitaire until m’ mind -goes abroad before I’ll play in uh zoo like this again! Any time you -jaspers want to play with me jist leave th’ specimens tied up, _sabe_?” - -“Did yuh git cut up any, Bantie?” grinned Magpie. - -“Lost m’ pants,” stated Bantie in a soprano voice. - -Tellurium grinned and took a fresh chew. - -“Better git uh pet to keep yuh company. Fine thing fer uh man.” - -His accent on the last word irritated Bantie so much that he shrugged -his thin shoulders and started off in the dark toward his cabin without -replying. - -“Hey!” yelled Tellurium. “What did yuh do with my wolf?” - -“He’ll git back some time tomorrow!” shrilled Bantie. “That is, if he -don’t lose m’ return trail.” - - * * * * * - -The next night Magpie and Tellurium ambled down to Bantie’s cabin, -ostensibly to square things with Bantie but it is worthy of notice that -they took their pets along. Bantie wasn’t home and the cabin was locked, -so they went back to Tellurium’s cabin and played single-handed poker. - -It was four days later that Bantie sat in front of his cabin, and the -stoop was gone from his shoulders. He was having the time of his life -watching a little gray kitten pull off stunts with an old newspaper. - -“Ain’t he th’ little rascal?” he chuckled. “Gosh, he shore is some pet -and that’s whatever. I’m shore pleased with his color--yes sir. Almost -uh dead ringer fer--huh! That’s goin’ to be uh good joke if it works. -It’s goin’ to re-quire some thinkin’. Twenty dollars rent! That’s uh -heap uh--gosh! Here comes Magpie down th’ trail! Kitty, kitty, -kitty--well, git in th’ house then. Doggone, I got to cache that cat -before he gits here.” - -Bantie was busy with his broom when Magpie leaned against the doorway -with a broad grin. - -“Hello, Bantie. When did yuh git back?” - -“Yesterday afternoon. Come inside while I sweeps this dirt out.” - -Magpie came in and sat down on the bunk. - -“To see yuh handle that broom, Bantie, reminds me uh heap of uh fee-male -person. You shore are finicky about yor floor.” - -Bantie blushed through his tan and swept vigorously. - -Magpie saw that he had riled Bantie so he continued: - -“You shore ought to have uh pet around yore cabin. Uh feller gits uh -heap uh comfort out of uh pet. Now, old man Sims down at th’ forks, has -got uh litter uh gray kittens and I know he’d shore admire to give yuh -one. Uh course yuh don’t want nothin’ bigger nor more fee-rocious than -house cats. Wild animal pets are only fit fer----” - -He had started to make a deprecatory gesture with his right hand, which -had suddenly come into contact with fur. Also the fur moved. Magpie took -one look and then swallowed his tobacco. A wildcat was sitting on the -bunk beside him and two big, yellow eyes stared into his. Magpie knew -wildcats--knew that no living animal could move more quickly. But if any -wildcat had caught Magpie in the next ten seconds it would have set a -new record for the species. - -Bantie dropped his broom as Magpie went past and then leaned against the -doorway and watched him slow down a hundred yards away and pull his gun -as he whirled. The little gray kitten rubbed against Bantie’s leg and he -picked it up and cuddled it to his face as he watched Magpie scratch his -neck and then amble off up the trail. - -To say that Magpie was astonished as he plodded off up that trail would -be putting it mildly. - -“I wonder if that was uh bob-cat?” he queried aloud. “Dang it all, my -eyes ain’t what they used to be. Leavin’ my specs to home that away puts -me plumb dim in th’ vision, but--huh, that shore looked like uh -bob-cat--yes sir! But shucks, it ain’t possible! Bantie with uh -bob-cat! No siree, it ain’t reasonable I tell yuh! Must ’a’ been my -eyes I reckon.” - -He went rumbling along the trail with his head down and nearly ran -headlong into Tellurium. - -“Whoa, yuh old goat!” yelled Tellurium. “What yuh tryin’ to do--butt -yore way home?” - -“Howdy, Tellurium. Where yuh goin’?” - -“Reckoned I’d pilgrim down and see if Bantie’s got home yet. Did yuh see -him?” - -“Uh-ha. I stopped by his cabin fer uh spell.” - -“Did he have anything to say about me and you and th’ pets?” asked -Tellurium, with a grin. - -“Not uh word. I reckon he’s done forgot it. Nice li’l feller that -Bantie.” - -“Nice enough fer uh runt, but I don’t admire th’ breed none. He’s too -doggone scary, Magpie.” - -“Un-ha,” agreed Magpie. “He shore ain’t got no corner on nerve. Well, I -got to be goin’. Come over tonight and play uh little poker. I don’t -suppose Bantie wants to play but yuh might ask him.” - -Tellurium rambled off down the trail and Magpie stood there and watched -him for a while. Finally he scratched his neck and murmured: - -“Mebby I’d ought to have told him but--shucks, it wasn’t nothin’--not uh -danged thing! But jist th’ same I--huh!” - -Bantie was washing a pair of overalls in a battered dishpan when -Tellurium hove in sight, and he threw them over a stump to dry. - -“Howdy, Bantie,” greeted Tellurium, with a wide-mouthed grin. “As uh -particular feller you shore got ’em all skinned. Washin’ overalls! -What’s th’ use uh that? Say, I’ll bet you takes uh bath too when nobody -ain’t lookin’. Haw! Haw! I knowed uh feller oncet who used to take uh -bath twice uh month regular. Dang near rubbed all th’ skin off hisself. -You ought to git uh buckskin shirt like mine, Bantie. Them skin shirts -keep yuh from gittin’ dirty--sort a fit so tight th’ dirt can’t git in, -_sabe_?” - -Bantie grinned and dried his hands. - -“Go inside, Tellurium, and sit down while I gits some fresh water. I -drinks uh lot uh water this hot weather.” - -“Un-ha, I reckon yuh would,” replied Tellurium, as Bantie took the pail -and started for the creek. “Yes sir, I wouldn’t put it uh bit past -yuh--drinkin’ lots uh water.” - -It was probably two minutes later when Bantie came back whistling with -his pail of water and entered the cabin. - -“This old Sleepin’ Creek shore produces th’ fine water,” he remarked but -there was no response--the cabin was empty. - -He walked to the door and looked around but there was no sign of -Tellurium. - -“That’s danged funny!” he exclaimed aloud. “Where in thunder is -Tellurium?” He went outside and walked around the cabin and then came in -and looked under the bunk. - -“Well, I’ll be uh----” - -He gasped as he pulled an object from under the bunk and held it up to -the light. It was a battered old sombrero and in the crown was punched -the initials, T. W. - -“Mama mine!” chuckled Bantie. “And Tellurium shore wasn’t built fer -such speed neither!” - -The little gray kitten on the bunk voiced its hunger and got a whole can -of precious condensed milk for supper that night. - - * * * * * - -Tellurium went over to play poker with Magpie that night but neither of -them mentioned Bantie until the evening was nearly over. Magpie shoved -back from the table and began to polish his glasses on a piece of -buckskin. - -“My eyes are gittin’ plumb bad,” he complained. “Sometimes I think I see -things and I know doggone well I don’t. I reckon I’d better wear my -specs all th’ time.” - -“Reckon I’ll have to git some too,” agreed Tellurium. - -“Yore vision botherin’ yuh too?” - -“Same as yours.” - -“When did yuh notice it first?” - -“This afternoon. I--huh--say, Magpie, did yuh notice anything--well, -sort a unusual down to Bantie’s?” - -“Say!” exploded Magpie, leaning across the table. “Did you see it too?” - -“ _Felt_ it is nearer th’ word. Th’ danged thing kept my Sunday hat!” - -Magpie continued to polish his glasses and seemed lost in reflection. - -“Jist about what do yuh reckon it is?” questioned Tellurium. “I didn’t -stay long enough to make uh good estimate.” - -“You and me both,” agreed Magpie. “What little I saw of it shore -re-sembled uh bob-cat, but bein’ hasty thataway uh feller can’t depend -on snap judgement. Knowin’ Bantie like we do I’m inclined to argue that -we both was seein’ things which ain’t.” - -“Well, mebby,” half agreed Tellurium. “But if it was it’s th’ first time -that bad eyesight ever caused uh streak uh gray dynamite to crawl my -frame and spit brimstone over my carcass and forcibly take my hat away. -Mebby I’m seein’ things, Magpie, but if I am I shore didn’t start in th’ -lower grades. No sir, I reckon I got into fast company immediately.” - -“I’ll tell yuh what we’ll do,” continued Tellurium, getting up and -putting on his coat, “we’ll go down there tomorrow and take our pets -along. If that is uh bob-cat I’d shore admire to have it hop my wolf.” - -“And git yore wolf all scratched to shoestrings,” grinned Magpie. “My -grizzly is more like it. Bob-cats as uh rule don’t hanker none to climb -th’ frame of grizzlies.” - -“We’ll take ’em both,” replied Tellurium, settling the argument. “I -don’t care a dang what happens jist so I gits my hat back. That lid cost -me twelve dollars five years ago and I longs fer it something -scandalous, Magpie.” - - * * * * * - -The next morning Magpie and Tellurium arrived at Bantie’s cabin with -their pets. The grizzly was a poor leader and Magpie was worn out -trying to drag several hundred pounds of protesting bear for two miles -over a trail. Tellurium was equally tired from having to dig his heels -into the ground all the way trying to hold his wolf to a sedate pace. - -Bantie was sitting in the shady side of his cabin reading, and on his -lap lay a little gray kitten. Tellurium saw the kitten first and stopped -in his tracks, but the wolf kept right on going and nearly upset -Bantie’s chair. The kitten arched its back, clawed its way up the side -of the cabin and spat at the wolf from the eaves. - -“What yuh tryin’ to do?” yelled Bantie, trying to escape from the -attentions of the pets. “Gol dang it! When yuh comes visitin’ why don’t -yuh come a-lone!” - -“Givin’ th’ pets uh little airin’,” mumbled Magpie, still eying the -kitten on the roof. “Where did yuh git th’ kitten, Bantie?” - -“Got him from old man Sims uh few days ago. I needed company so I gits -th’ kitten. Didn’t yuh see him when yuh was here before?” - -“Say,” continued Bantie, before Magpie had a chance to answer, “where -did yuh go th’ other day, Tellurium? When I gits back with that pail uh -water yuh was gone. I finds the kitten maulin’ yore hat around th’ floor -and you ain’t no place in sight.” - -“I--I--huh! You say yuh finds that kitten playin’ with my hat?” - -Bantie picked the hat off the bed and handed it to Tellurium. - -“Ain’t that yore hat?” - -“By golly, she shore is!” exclaimed Tellurium. “How do yuh reckon that -hat got down here? I must be gittin’ absent minded, Magpie.” - -“I reckon yore both that way,” grinned Bantie. “Th’ other day Magpie is -here sittin’ comfortably on m’ bunk, and all to oncet he shoots out of -th’ door and gallops off up th’ trail. I stands here plumb surprised. -I’m plumb scared that he’s loco.” - -Magpie looked at Tellurium in an inquiring way, but Tellurium’s face was -hopelessly blank. - -The bear and wolf, unleashed, wandered into the cabin just as Bantie -stood up and remarked: - -“You fellers might as well come in out of th’ sun. Mebby it was th’ heat -that affected yuh. I’ve got uh li’l bottle of hooch from old man Sims’ -keg, and he told me that it was th’----” - -“Say no more, Bantie,” beamed Tellurium, starting for the cabin door -closely followed by the willing Magpie. “Old man Sims gives me uh shot -uh that stuff oncet and ever since that time I’ve wished----” - -Came a roar of pain and a yelp of surprise and the upheaval started. A -streak of roan-colored bear, with a gray hump on its back, hit Magpie -dead center, knocking him back into Tellurium, and as they fell the bear -raked them fore and aft and the wolf, yipping like the fiends of the bad -place were tied to its tail, raced across their prostrate bodies and -disappeared in a cloud of dust up the trail. - -The wolf, running at its best speed, was a poor second to the bear. The -bear was carrying weight but handled it nicely. - -Bantie leaned against the door frame and shrilled his mirth in a high -key while the little gray kitten stood in the door and looked -inquiringly at the two in the dust. - -“What in ---- happened?” wailed Magpie, feeling tenderly of a spot on -his chest where the bear had grasped a foothold. - -“Avalanche!” gasped Tellurium. “Top of th’ mountain busted right off -and half of it hit me in th’ belt-buckle. I reckon I’d better light uh -match to see if I’m conscious.” - -Magpie gazed ruefully up the trail as he brushed off his clothes. - -“I wonder what got into them pets? Gosh, uh grizzly shore has uh lot uh -motive power when he gits a-goin’! Where yuh goin’, Tellurium?” - -“I’m goin’ to find them animiles and see what’s th’ matter. Gol darn! I -wouldn’t take uh fortune fer that wolf. He’s uh----” - -“Man-sized pet,” finished Bantie with a grin, as he picked up the little -gray kitten and snuggled it to his face. “Pore li’l kitty, did they -scare yuh?” - -“Scare----!” exploded Magpie. “I’ll bet--huh!” - -He turned and followed Tellurium up the trail, and Bantie watched them -with an expectant grin on his face. The trail led over a point of rocks -above the creek and at that point there was a sheer drop of about -fifteen feet to the water, which was about five feet in depth. - -Magpie caught up with Tellurium at this place and they stopped to argue -the question. Beyond them the trail curved sharply around another cliff -of rocks. - -Tellurium shoved his hands into his pockets and faced Magpie -belligerently. - -“It don’t stand to reason, Magpie, that uh house cat----” - -His argument was cut off. The avalanche had returned. - -Being as the two were occupying most of the trail there was no chance to -avoid the shock. Tellurium had hold of Magpie’s arm and the two of them -performed their aerial spin and dip of death as one person. - -The chase had evidently turned as the wolf was in the lead and using all -the power of its legs and voice to hold that lead. The bear was due to -slow up or run over the wolf if the race continued for a hundred yards -further. - -“Leggo my face!” spluttered Magpie, trying to shake Tellurium’s grip -loose and grab a trailing willow shoot at the same time. “What yuh -tryin’ to do, drown me?” - -“Don’t claw me--gimme room!” gasped Tellurium. He lunged toward the -bank and shook Magpie’s hold from the willow. - -“Danged hippopotamus, tread water!” choked Magpie. “Leggo my arm! If I -ever gits you--gurgle--gurgle--on dry land--leggo!” - -“What did yuh push me in fer?” wailed Tellurium. - -He tried to stand up but the current was too strong and he went -pin-wheeling his way down the creek to a sand-bar. Magpie, relieved of -Tellurium’s clutches, managed to grab the bank and pull himself out. He -wandered down to where Tellurium was pouring the water out of his boots -and sat down disconsolately on a log. - -“I’d shore admire to know what happened?” he remarked. “Something shore -has happened that I ain’t got no light on. Now, that danged little -kitten ain’t--huh, I dunno, I dunno.” - -“No, it shore ain’t,” agreed Tellurium foolishly. “But if it ain’t, what -is? I asks yuh, Magpie, what is?” - -“Why ask me?” demanded Magpie. - -“Do yuh reckon I’m uh palmist? I know one thing, I’m goin’ over and git -my bear. Whatever it is it ain’t no place fer bears. I reckon I’ll have -to tame that pet all over again. Let’s go over and interview Bantie.” - -Bantie was still standing in the door with his kitten on his arm and he -grinned widely at their dilapidated appearance. - -Magpie wiped his mustache and glared at Bantie. - -“Where’s my bear?” - -“And also that wolf uh mine!” snapped Tellurium. - -“Do yuh want ’em sudden like or jist natural?” inquired Bantie. - -“Sudden like suits me!” stated Magpie. “If I could git away from this -place goin’ uh thousand feet uh second I’d feel that I was sort a -loiterin’.” - -“Watch m’ root-house door,” said Bantie, as he shoved the kitten back -into the cabin and shut the door. - -The root-house was simply a dug-out under the cabin, with a rough hinged -door opening on a slant from the ground. The door was closed but not -fastened. Magpie started to walk over and open it but he moved too late. - -Came a yelp and a grunt of fear and the door heaved up, nearly tearing -the hinges off, and the bear sailed out of the cellar and streaked for -the nearest tree. - -The wolf hit only the highest points of the scenery until it came to a -high point across the creek, where it stopped long enough to elevate its -nose and voice its displeasure to the world. - -Inside the cabin Bantie was down on his hands and knees, peering down -into the cellar through a hole made by removing some of the rough -flooring. He pulled on a short rope and called softly and a full-grown -wildcat climbed out of the hole and rubbed affectionately against his -leg. Bantie tied the leash to the bunk leg and the cat crawled under the -bunk. - -“By th’ great horn spoon!” exclaimed Bantie. “You shore are some pet! -Frenchy Burgoyne said uh mouthful when he said that yuh didn’t allow -strangers to trespass. Li’l cat, yuh cost me jist twenty dollars rent -but yore shore worth it--every cent. I plumb hates to take yuh back but -uh bargain’s uh bargain. As uh bare-back rider of grizzlies I takes m’ -hat off to you, li’l bob-cat.” - -Outside, Magpie and Tellurium leaned against each other and watched the -wolf bid farewell to humanity. - -Finally, evidently with misgivings, the bear slid down out of the tree. -It gazed at the two with melancholy in its little eyes and then waddled -off into the willows down Sleeping Creek. - -Tellurium sat down heavily on a log and wiped his bald head with a wet -handkerchief. - -“This is gittin’ to be th’ dangdest----” - -“Look!” exclaimed Magpie, pointing to the open root-house door. The -little gray kitten was perched on the top step and its little ears -twitched as it looked cautiously about before coming out. - -“What General Sherman said about war, goes double fer cats!” remarked -Tellurium. - -Magpie scratched his neck thoughtfully for a moment and then started off -down the Sleeping Creek trail on a half run. - -“Where in ---- yuh goin’?” yelled Tellurium. - -Magpie stopped for a moment and considered the little kitten on the -root-house door, before he yelled back: - -“I’m goin’ down to dicker with old man Sims before he gits rid of all -that litter uh cats. I needs uh pet and I shore admires th’ best there -is.” - -“You and me both,” agreed Tellurium fervently, and they went down the -trail together. - - -[Transcriber’s Note: This story appeared in the December, 1916 issue of -_Adventure_ magazine.] - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN-SIZED PET *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. 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C. Tuttle</title> - <style> - body { margin-left:8%; margin-right:8%; } - p { text-indent:1.15em; margin-top:0.1em; margin-bottom:0.1em; text-align:justify; } - h1 { text-align:center; font-size:1.4em; } - .imgfpc { margin-left:15%; width:70%; } - div.tac { text-align:center } - h2 { text-align:center; font-weight:normal; page-break-before: always; - font-size:1.0em; margin-top:3em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:auto; margin-right:auto; } - .tn { font-size:0.9em; border:1px solid silver; margin-top:1.8em; margin-left:8%; width:80%; padding:0.4em 2%; } - .tn p { text-indent:0 } - div.thoughtbreak { height:1em; } - </style> - </head> -<body> -<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Man-Sized Pet, by W. C. Tuttle</p> -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: A Man-Sized Pet</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: W. C. Tuttle</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: October 21, 2021 [eBook #66588]</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Roger Frank and Sue Clark</p> -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN-SIZED PET ***</div> - -<img src='images/illus-001.jpg' class='imgfpc' alt='Frontispiece' /> - -<h1 id="a-man-sized-pet">A Man-Sized Pet</h1> - -<div style='text-align:center'> -by W. C. Tuttle -</div> - -<div style='text-align:center;font-size:0.8em;margin-top:0.2em;margin-bottom:1em;'> -Author of “Magpie’s Nightbear,” “A Bull Movement in Yellow Horse,” etc. -</div> - -<p>It was an incongruous group that sat around the rough pine table in -Magpie Simpkins’s cabin, and played pitch by the light of an old smoky -kerosene lamp.</p> - -<p>Magpie Simpkins, six feet two, slender to the point of emaciation, -with the face of a scholar above his walrus-like mustache, sat there -peering at his cards through the only pair of glasses on Sleeping -Creek.</p> - -<p>Magpie had been to Missoula a short time before and at the earnest -solicitation of an optician had purchased a pair of glasses, sans bows, -which he fastened to his person through the medium of a wide silk -ribbon. At the present time he wore the ribbon around his neck for -safety.</p> - -<p>Tellurium Woods, the second of the trio, was as fat as any outdoor -man could ever expect to be, and his bald head and luxuriant brown beard -gave one the impression of looking at a billiard ball on a rug. -Tellurium affected buckskin shirts of his own manufacture and design, -and it was impossible to tell, at the neck, just where the shirt left -off and the skin began.</p> - -<p>Bantie Weyman was the exact opposite of the others. He was about five -feet two inches in height and would weigh about a hundred. He had a -soprano voice, a gold tooth, and took baths. In the latter he differed -from any one else on the range.</p> - -<p>Bantie wasn’t exactly a man’s man but he did a man’s work on his -claim in Bear Gulch and claimed to be the champion sourdough bread-maker -of the world. Bantie was timid—so timid that he wouldn’t pack a gun, and -the only armament of his cabin consisted of a .22 rifle with a section -of cleaning-rod broken off inside the barrel.</p> - -<p>These three represented the social column of Sleeping Creek. Their -cabins were situated within a radius of two miles, and in order to keep -up the social life of the district they had instituted a private pitch -club—two bits a corner and ten cents set back. The three were to -alternate as hosts.</p> - -<p>At this, their first session, there was a fourth party present. It -seemed very much interested in the hands held by Bantie, much to -Bantie’s embarrassment and to the huge delight of the others. Bantie -played the jack of diamonds and snorted loudly as Magpie took it with -the queen and a chuckle.</p> - -<p>“Magpie, yuh got to put that bear outside!” he shrilled. “He gits his -danged nose in m’ ear and I don’t know whether I’m playin’ th’ jack or -th’ ace! I got th’ ace—see? By golly! That sets me back three and costs -me ten cents! I ain’t goin’ to riffle another card until yuh puts that -emblem uh California out in th’ shed, <em>sabe</em>?”</p> - -<p>“Haw! Haw!” roared Tellurium. “Be uh man, Bantie. That pore li’l -grizzly won’t hurt yuh. Look at him! He’s plumb heart-broke over them -words, Bantie. While yore uh fair—jist fair—pitch player, Bantie, yuh -lacks something. If yuh was simply sloppy with th’ milk uh human -kindness like me and Magpie you’d git uh pet.”</p> - -<p>“That ultimatum,” replied Bantie, “covers that wolf uh yours under -th’ bunk, Tellurium. Every time I turns to spit I got to look into his -shinin’ eyes. Don’t th’ loafer never sleep?”</p> - -<p>“Well,” grinned Tellurium, “he ain’t no regular Rip Van Winkle, but -he’s tame—tame enough fer uh man. I believes in uh man-sized pet and fer -that reason I cottons to th’ wolf. Uh course he’s only good fer uh grown -man.”</p> - -<p>Bantie grunted and put on his coat.</p> - -<p>“My re-marks goes as she lays,” he stated. “I don’t play with no -danged menagerie. It’s bad enough to be whipsawed by uh pair uh -snake-hunters like you and Magpie but I draws th’ line at havin’ uh wolf -under m’ feet and uh grizzly workin’ down wind behind m’ ear. Why -I——”</p> - -<p>“Say, Tellurium, did yuh ever see my bear dance?” interrupted -Magpie.</p> - -<p>“He’s there four ways from th’ jack. Watch him now.”</p> - -<p>Magpie slid the table over against the wall and took a rusty gold-pan -from behind the stove. Using it as a tambourine, he began a shuffle on -the rough floor.</p> - -<p>The bear watched him for a minute and then with a squeal of delight -got up on its hind legs and began to prance around the cabin. Bantie -forgot his fear and began to shuffle too, while Tellurium sat with his -feet over the end of the bunk and sang “Annie Laurie” in a husky voice -to the tune of “A Hot Time.”</p> - -<p>Whether through accident or design the bear danced straight for the -shuffling Bantie, who was intent on watching his own toes. Bantie looked -up as the bear was almost against him and he stepped back hurriedly out -of harm’s way. At least he was out of the bear’s way but unfortunately -one of his boot heels landed squarely on the front foot of the wolf -under the bunk.</p> - -<p>A description of the rest of the action would be pure fiction as no -one in the cabin ever knew just what did happen. Suffice to say that -when the explosion was over Magpie was under the table, Tellurium was -under the bunk, the bear was whining up on the rafters, Bantie and the -wolf were gone and so was the one window to the cabin.</p> - -<p>It was probably ten minutes later that Bantie stuck his head into the -open window and panted:</p> - -<p>“My remarks still goes as she lays! I’ll play solitaire until m’ mind -goes abroad before I’ll play in uh zoo like this again! Any time you -jaspers want to play with me jist leave th’ specimens tied up, -<em>sabe</em>?”</p> - -<p>“Did yuh git cut up any, Bantie?” grinned Magpie.</p> - -<p>“Lost m’ pants,” stated Bantie in a soprano voice.</p> - -<p>Tellurium grinned and took a fresh chew.</p> - -<p>“Better git uh pet to keep yuh company. Fine thing fer uh man.”</p> - -<p>His accent on the last word irritated Bantie so much that he shrugged -his thin shoulders and started off in the dark toward his cabin without -replying.</p> - -<p>“Hey!” yelled Tellurium. “What did yuh do with my wolf?”</p> - -<p>“He’ll git back some time tomorrow!” shrilled Bantie. “That is, if he -don’t lose m’ return trail.”</p> - -<div class='thoughtbreak'></div> - -<p>The next night Magpie and Tellurium ambled down to Bantie’s cabin, -ostensibly to square things with Bantie but it is worthy of notice that -they took their pets along. Bantie wasn’t home and the cabin was locked, -so they went back to Tellurium’s cabin and played single-handed -poker.</p> - -<p>It was four days later that Bantie sat in front of his cabin, and the -stoop was gone from his shoulders. He was having the time of his life -watching a little gray kitten pull off stunts with an old newspaper.</p> - -<p>“Ain’t he th’ little rascal?” he chuckled. “Gosh, he shore is some -pet and that’s whatever. I’m shore pleased with his color—yes sir. -Almost uh dead ringer fer—huh! That’s goin’ to be uh good joke if it -works. It’s goin’ to re-quire some thinkin’. Twenty dollars rent! That’s -uh heap uh—gosh! Here comes Magpie down th’ trail! Kitty, kitty, -kitty—well, git in th’ house then. Doggone, I got to cache that cat -before he gits here.”</p> - -<p>Bantie was busy with his broom when Magpie leaned against the doorway -with a broad grin.</p> - -<p>“Hello, Bantie. When did yuh git back?”</p> - -<p>“Yesterday afternoon. Come inside while I sweeps this dirt out.”</p> - -<p>Magpie came in and sat down on the bunk.</p> - -<p>“To see yuh handle that broom, Bantie, reminds me uh heap of uh -fee-male person. You shore are finicky about yor floor.”</p> - -<p>Bantie blushed through his tan and swept vigorously.</p> - -<p>Magpie saw that he had riled Bantie so he continued:</p> - -<p>“You shore ought to have uh pet around yore cabin. Uh feller gits uh -heap uh comfort out of uh pet. Now, old man Sims down at th’ forks, has -got uh litter uh gray kittens and I know he’d shore admire to give yuh -one. Uh course yuh don’t want nothin’ bigger nor more fee-rocious than -house cats. Wild animal pets are only fit fer——”</p> - -<p>He had started to make a deprecatory gesture with his right hand, -which had suddenly come into contact with fur. Also the fur moved. -Magpie took one look and then swallowed his tobacco. A wildcat was -sitting on the bunk beside him and two big, yellow eyes stared into his. -Magpie knew wildcats—knew that no living animal could move more quickly. -But if any wildcat had caught Magpie in the next ten seconds it would -have set a new record for the species.</p> - -<p>Bantie dropped his broom as Magpie went past and then leaned against -the doorway and watched him slow down a hundred yards away and pull his -gun as he whirled. The little gray kitten rubbed against Bantie’s leg -and he picked it up and cuddled it to his face as he watched Magpie -scratch his neck and then amble off up the trail.</p> - -<p>To say that Magpie was astonished as he plodded off up that trail -would be putting it mildly.</p> - -<p>“I wonder if that was uh bob-cat?” he queried aloud. “Dang it all, my -eyes ain’t what they used to be. Leavin’ my specs to home that away puts -me plumb dim in th’ vision, but—huh, that shore looked like uh -bob-cat—yes sir! But shucks, it ain’t possible! Bantie with uh bob-cat! -No siree, it ain’t reasonable I tell yuh! Must ’a’ been my eyes I -reckon.”</p> - -<p>He went rumbling along the trail with his head down and nearly ran -headlong into Tellurium.</p> - -<p>“Whoa, yuh old goat!” yelled Tellurium. “What yuh tryin’ to do—butt -yore way home?”</p> - -<p>“Howdy, Tellurium. Where yuh goin’?”</p> - -<p>“Reckoned I’d pilgrim down and see if Bantie’s got home yet. Did yuh -see him?”</p> - -<p>“Uh-ha. I stopped by his cabin fer uh spell.”</p> - -<p>“Did he have anything to say about me and you and th’ pets?” asked -Tellurium, with a grin.</p> - -<p>“Not uh word. I reckon he’s done forgot it. Nice li’l feller that -Bantie.”</p> - -<p>“Nice enough fer uh runt, but I don’t admire th’ breed none. He’s too -doggone scary, Magpie.”</p> - -<p>“Un-ha,” agreed Magpie. “He shore ain’t got no corner on nerve. Well, -I got to be goin’. Come over tonight and play uh little poker. I don’t -suppose Bantie wants to play but yuh might ask him.”</p> - -<p>Tellurium rambled off down the trail and Magpie stood there and -watched him for a while. Finally he scratched his neck and murmured:</p> - -<p>“Mebby I’d ought to have told him but—shucks, it wasn’t nothin’—not -uh danged thing! But jist th’ same I—huh!”</p> - -<p>Bantie was washing a pair of overalls in a battered dishpan when -Tellurium hove in sight, and he threw them over a stump to dry.</p> - -<p>“Howdy, Bantie,” greeted Tellurium, with a wide-mouthed grin. “As uh -particular feller you shore got ’em all skinned. Washin’ overalls! -What’s th’ use uh that? Say, I’ll bet you takes uh bath too when nobody -ain’t lookin’. Haw! Haw! I knowed uh feller oncet who used to take uh -bath twice uh month regular. Dang near rubbed all th’ skin off hisself. -You ought to git uh buckskin shirt like mine, Bantie. Them skin shirts -keep yuh from gittin’ dirty—sort a fit so tight th’ dirt can’t git in, -<em>sabe</em>?”</p> - -<p>Bantie grinned and dried his hands.</p> - -<p>“Go inside, Tellurium, and sit down while I gits some fresh water. I -drinks uh lot uh water this hot weather.”</p> - -<p>“Un-ha, I reckon yuh would,” replied Tellurium, as Bantie took the -pail and started for the creek. “Yes sir, I wouldn’t put it uh bit past -yuh—drinkin’ lots uh water.”</p> - -<p>It was probably two minutes later when Bantie came back whistling -with his pail of water and entered the cabin.</p> - -<p>“This old Sleepin’ Creek shore produces th’ fine water,” he remarked -but there was no response—the cabin was empty.</p> - -<p>He walked to the door and looked around but there was no sign of -Tellurium.</p> - -<p>“That’s danged funny!” he exclaimed aloud. “Where in thunder is -Tellurium?” He went outside and walked around the cabin and then came in -and looked under the bunk.</p> - -<p>“Well, I’ll be uh——”</p> - -<p>He gasped as he pulled an object from under the bunk and held it up -to the light. It was a battered old sombrero and in the crown was -punched the initials, T. W.</p> - -<p>“Mama mine!” chuckled Bantie. “And Tellurium shore wasn’t built fer -such speed neither!”</p> - -<p>The little gray kitten on the bunk voiced its hunger and got a whole -can of precious condensed milk for supper that night.</p> - -<div class='thoughtbreak'></div> - -<p>Tellurium went over to play poker with Magpie that night but neither -of them mentioned Bantie until the evening was nearly over. Magpie -shoved back from the table and began to polish his glasses on a piece of -buckskin.</p> - -<p>“My eyes are gittin’ plumb bad,” he complained. “Sometimes I think I -see things and I know doggone well I don’t. I reckon I’d better wear my -specs all th’ time.”</p> - -<p>“Reckon I’ll have to git some too,” agreed Tellurium.</p> - -<p>“Yore vision botherin’ yuh too?”</p> - -<p>“Same as yours.”</p> - -<p>“When did yuh notice it first?”</p> - -<p>“This afternoon. I—huh—say, Magpie, did yuh notice anything—well, -sort a unusual down to Bantie’s?”</p> - -<p>“Say!” exploded Magpie, leaning across the table. “Did you see it -too?”</p> - -<p>“<em>Felt</em> it is nearer th’ word. Th’ danged thing kept my Sunday -hat!”</p> - -<p>Magpie continued to polish his glasses and seemed lost in -reflection.</p> - -<p>“Jist about what do yuh reckon it is?” questioned Tellurium. “I -didn’t stay long enough to make uh good estimate.”</p> - -<p>“You and me both,” agreed Magpie. “What little I saw of it shore -re-sembled uh bob-cat, but bein’ hasty thataway uh feller can’t depend -on snap judgement. Knowin’ Bantie like we do I’m inclined to argue that -we both was seein’ things which ain’t.”</p> - -<p>“Well, mebby,” half agreed Tellurium. “But if it was it’s th’ first -time that bad eyesight ever caused uh streak uh gray dynamite to crawl -my frame and spit brimstone over my carcass and forcibly take my hat -away. Mebby I’m seein’ things, Magpie, but if I am I shore didn’t start -in th’ lower grades. No sir, I reckon I got into fast company -immediately.”</p> - -<p>“I’ll tell yuh what we’ll do,” continued Tellurium, getting up and -putting on his coat, “we’ll go down there tomorrow and take our pets -along. If that is uh bob-cat I’d shore admire to have it hop my -wolf.”</p> - -<p>“And git yore wolf all scratched to shoestrings,” grinned Magpie. “My -grizzly is more like it. Bob-cats as uh rule don’t hanker none to climb -th’ frame of grizzlies.”</p> - -<p>“We’ll take ’em both,” replied Tellurium, settling the argument. “I -don’t care a dang what happens jist so I gits my hat back. That lid cost -me twelve dollars five years ago and I longs fer it something -scandalous, Magpie.”</p> - -<div class='thoughtbreak'></div> - -<p>The next morning Magpie and Tellurium arrived at Bantie’s cabin with -their pets. The grizzly was a poor leader and Magpie was worn out trying -to drag several hundred pounds of protesting bear for two miles over a -trail. Tellurium was equally tired from having to dig his heels into the -ground all the way trying to hold his wolf to a sedate pace.</p> - -<p>Bantie was sitting in the shady side of his cabin reading, and on his -lap lay a little gray kitten. Tellurium saw the kitten first and stopped -in his tracks, but the wolf kept right on going and nearly upset -Bantie’s chair. The kitten arched its back, clawed its way up the side -of the cabin and spat at the wolf from the eaves.</p> - -<p>“What yuh tryin’ to do?” yelled Bantie, trying to escape from the -attentions of the pets. “Gol dang it! When yuh comes visitin’ why don’t -yuh come a-lone!”</p> - -<p>“Givin’ th’ pets uh little airin’,” mumbled Magpie, still eying the -kitten on the roof. “Where did yuh git th’ kitten, Bantie?”</p> - -<p>“Got him from old man Sims uh few days ago. I needed company so I -gits th’ kitten. Didn’t yuh see him when yuh was here before?”</p> - -<p>“Say,” continued Bantie, before Magpie had a chance to answer, “where -did yuh go th’ other day, Tellurium? When I gits back with that pail uh -water yuh was gone. I finds the kitten maulin’ yore hat around th’ floor -and you ain’t no place in sight.”</p> - -<p>“I—I—huh! You say yuh finds that kitten playin’ with my hat?”</p> - -<p>Bantie picked the hat off the bed and handed it to Tellurium.</p> - -<p>“Ain’t that yore hat?”</p> - -<p>“By golly, she shore is!” exclaimed Tellurium. “How do yuh reckon -that hat got down here? I must be gittin’ absent minded, Magpie.”</p> - -<p>“I reckon yore both that way,” grinned Bantie. “Th’ other day Magpie -is here sittin’ comfortably on m’ bunk, and all to oncet he shoots out -of th’ door and gallops off up th’ trail. I stands here plumb surprised. -I’m plumb scared that he’s loco.”</p> - -<p>Magpie looked at Tellurium in an inquiring way, but Tellurium’s face -was hopelessly blank.</p> - -<p>The bear and wolf, unleashed, wandered into the cabin just as Bantie -stood up and remarked:</p> - -<p>“You fellers might as well come in out of th’ sun. Mebby it was th’ -heat that affected yuh. I’ve got uh li’l bottle of hooch from old man -Sims’ keg, and he told me that it was th’——”</p> - -<p>“Say no more, Bantie,” beamed Tellurium, starting for the cabin door -closely followed by the willing Magpie. “Old man Sims gives me uh shot -uh that stuff oncet and ever since that time I’ve wished——”</p> - -<p>Came a roar of pain and a yelp of surprise and the upheaval started. -A streak of roan-colored bear, with a gray hump on its back, hit Magpie -dead center, knocking him back into Tellurium, and as they fell the bear -raked them fore and aft and the wolf, yipping like the fiends of the bad -place were tied to its tail, raced across their prostrate bodies and -disappeared in a cloud of dust up the trail.</p> - -<p>The wolf, running at its best speed, was a poor second to the bear. -The bear was carrying weight but handled it nicely.</p> - -<p>Bantie leaned against the door frame and shrilled his mirth in a high -key while the little gray kitten stood in the door and looked -inquiringly at the two in the dust.</p> - -<p>“What in —— happened?” wailed Magpie, feeling tenderly of a spot on -his chest where the bear had grasped a foothold.</p> - -<p>“Avalanche!” gasped Tellurium. “Top of th’ mountain busted right off -and half of it hit me in th’ belt-buckle. I reckon I’d better light uh -match to see if I’m conscious.”</p> - -<p>Magpie gazed ruefully up the trail as he brushed off his clothes.</p> - -<p>“I wonder what got into them pets? Gosh, uh grizzly shore has uh lot -uh motive power when he gits a-goin’! Where yuh goin’, Tellurium?”</p> - -<p>“I’m goin’ to find them animiles and see what’s th’ matter. Gol darn! -I wouldn’t take uh fortune fer that wolf. He’s uh——”</p> - -<p>“Man-sized pet,” finished Bantie with a grin, as he picked up the -little gray kitten and snuggled it to his face. “Pore li’l kitty, did -they scare yuh?”</p> - -<p>“Scare——!” exploded Magpie. “I’ll bet—huh!”</p> - -<p>He turned and followed Tellurium up the trail, and Bantie watched -them with an expectant grin on his face. The trail led over a point of -rocks above the creek and at that point there was a sheer drop of about -fifteen feet to the water, which was about five feet in depth.</p> - -<p>Magpie caught up with Tellurium at this place and they stopped to -argue the question. Beyond them the trail curved sharply around another -cliff of rocks.</p> - -<p>Tellurium shoved his hands into his pockets and faced Magpie -belligerently.</p> - -<p>“It don’t stand to reason, Magpie, that uh house cat——”</p> - -<p>His argument was cut off. The avalanche had returned.</p> - -<p>Being as the two were occupying most of the trail there was no chance -to avoid the shock. Tellurium had hold of Magpie’s arm and the two of -them performed their aerial spin and dip of death as one person.</p> - -<p>The chase had evidently turned as the wolf was in the lead and using -all the power of its legs and voice to hold that lead. The bear was due -to slow up or run over the wolf if the race continued for a hundred -yards further.</p> - -<p>“Leggo my face!” spluttered Magpie, trying to shake Tellurium’s grip -loose and grab a trailing willow shoot at the same time. “What yuh -tryin’ to do, drown me?”</p> - -<p>“Don’t claw me—gimme room!” gasped Tellurium. He lunged toward the -bank and shook Magpie’s hold from the willow.</p> - -<p>“Danged hippopotamus, tread water!” choked Magpie. “Leggo my arm! If -I ever gits you—gurgle—gurgle—on dry land—leggo!”</p> - -<p>“What did yuh push me in fer?” wailed Tellurium.</p> - -<p>He tried to stand up but the current was too strong and he went -pin-wheeling his way down the creek to a sand-bar. Magpie, relieved of -Tellurium’s clutches, managed to grab the bank and pull himself out. He -wandered down to where Tellurium was pouring the water out of his boots -and sat down disconsolately on a log.</p> - -<p>“I’d shore admire to know what happened?” he remarked. “Something -shore has happened that I ain’t got no light on. Now, that danged little -kitten ain’t—huh, I dunno, I dunno.”</p> - -<p>“No, it shore ain’t,” agreed Tellurium foolishly. “But if it ain’t, -what is? I asks yuh, Magpie, what is?”</p> - -<p>“Why ask me?” demanded Magpie.</p> - -<p>“Do yuh reckon I’m uh palmist? I know one thing, I’m goin’ over and -git my bear. Whatever it is it ain’t no place fer bears. I reckon I’ll -have to tame that pet all over again. Let’s go over and interview -Bantie.”</p> - -<p>Bantie was still standing in the door with his kitten on his arm and -he grinned widely at their dilapidated appearance.</p> - -<p>Magpie wiped his mustache and glared at Bantie.</p> - -<p>“Where’s my bear?”</p> - -<p>“And also that wolf uh mine!” snapped Tellurium.</p> - -<p>“Do yuh want ’em sudden like or jist natural?” inquired Bantie.</p> - -<p>“Sudden like suits me!” stated Magpie. “If I could git away from this -place goin’ uh thousand feet uh second I’d feel that I was sort a -loiterin’.”</p> - -<p>“Watch m’ root-house door,” said Bantie, as he shoved the kitten back -into the cabin and shut the door.</p> - -<p>The root-house was simply a dug-out under the cabin, with a rough -hinged door opening on a slant from the ground. The door was closed but -not fastened. Magpie started to walk over and open it but he moved too -late.</p> - -<p>Came a yelp and a grunt of fear and the door heaved up, nearly -tearing the hinges off, and the bear sailed out of the cellar and -streaked for the nearest tree.</p> - -<p>The wolf hit only the highest points of the scenery until it came to -a high point across the creek, where it stopped long enough to elevate -its nose and voice its displeasure to the world.</p> - -<p>Inside the cabin Bantie was down on his hands and knees, peering down -into the cellar through a hole made by removing some of the rough -flooring. He pulled on a short rope and called softly and a full-grown -wildcat climbed out of the hole and rubbed affectionately against his -leg. Bantie tied the leash to the bunk leg and the cat crawled under the -bunk.</p> - -<p>“By th’ great horn spoon!” exclaimed Bantie. “You shore are some pet! -Frenchy Burgoyne said uh mouthful when he said that yuh didn’t allow -strangers to trespass. Li’l cat, yuh cost me jist twenty dollars rent -but yore shore worth it—every cent. I plumb hates to take yuh back but -uh bargain’s uh bargain. As uh bare-back rider of grizzlies I takes m’ -hat off to you, li’l bob-cat.”</p> - -<p>Outside, Magpie and Tellurium leaned against each other and watched -the wolf bid farewell to humanity.</p> - -<p>Finally, evidently with misgivings, the bear slid down out of the -tree. It gazed at the two with melancholy in its little eyes and then -waddled off into the willows down Sleeping Creek.</p> - -<p>Tellurium sat down heavily on a log and wiped his bald head with a -wet handkerchief.</p> - -<p>“This is gittin’ to be th’ dangdest——”</p> - -<p>“Look!” exclaimed Magpie, pointing to the open root-house door. The -little gray kitten was perched on the top step and its little ears -twitched as it looked cautiously about before coming out.</p> - -<p>“What General Sherman said about war, goes double fer cats!” remarked -Tellurium.</p> - -<p>Magpie scratched his neck thoughtfully for a moment and then started -off down the Sleeping Creek trail on a half run.</p> - -<p>“Where in —— yuh goin’?” yelled Tellurium.</p> - -<p>Magpie stopped for a moment and considered the little kitten on the -root-house door, before he yelled back:</p> - -<p>“I’m goin’ down to dicker with old man Sims before he gits rid of all -that litter uh cats. I needs uh pet and I shore admires th’ best there -is.”</p> - -<p>“You and me both,” agreed Tellurium fervently, and they went down the -trail together.</p> - -<div class='tn'> - Transcriber’s Note: This story appeared in the - December, 1916 issue of <i>Adventure</i> magazine. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN-SIZED PET ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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