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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #66574 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/66574)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Matter of Ethics, by Russ
-Winterbotham
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: A Matter of Ethics
-
-Author: Russ Winterbotham
-
-Release Date: October 19, 2021 [eBook #66574]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MATTER OF ETHICS ***
-
-
-
-
-
- Homer was a shy Faderfield bachelor; his
- visitor was a beautiful Pleiades girl. At any
- rate she was a girl, and Homer had a problem--
-
- A MATTER OF ETHICS
-
- By Russ Winterbotham
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy
- April 1955
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-The fly rod, the letter and the small jar of paint were, in a sense,
-half of the problem Homer Hopkins had to solve. The other half rested
-in his complex mind.
-
-Fader's Fadeless Formulae had offered him a position, not a job, to
-take charge of its research department, at ten thousand a year, twice
-what he was paid at Faderfield Junior College to teach chemistry. All
-this was in the letter.
-
-"But I like being a teacher," said Homer. And he looked at the fly
-rod. "And I also like to fish." Teaching chemistry had left him little
-time for fishing. The science had advanced with such gigantic strides
-that Homer was continually catching up on the subject. He spent his
-vacations going to colleges, and his off days reading literature,
-orienting himself.
-
-The little jar of paint had brought it about. Homer had sent a jar like
-it to C. J. Fader suggesting that it be placed on the market. All Homer
-had wanted was a fat check, and a royalty which he could invest so he
-could retire someday. Instead, C. J. Fader had offered him a job. The
-Old Man, who ran the principal industry of Faderfield, would expect a
-new formula a month and Homer was afraid he might not be able to turn
-one out every month. Homer knew enough about C. J. to realize that if
-he offered ten thousand, he would expect a ninety-thousand profit.
-Homer could qualify for the first figure, but he wasn't so sure about
-the second.
-
-And then the door bell rang.
-
-Homer glanced out the window at the row of lighted houses across
-the street. He lived by himself in a little four-room cottage near
-the junior college. Twice a week the cleaning woman got rid of the
-male litter and on Saturdays a student did the outside work to keep
-the little rented home in trim with the rest of the neat little
-neighborhood. Homer managed by himself the rest of the time.
-
-Whoever was at the door was not in line with the window. Callers were
-not infrequent. There were three other bachelor males in the chemistry
-department who dropped in occasionally. And some of the neighbors came
-over from time to time, usually to borrow a book. Students sometimes
-came to see him, especially when their grades were low.
-
-Homer opened the door. It was not a bachelor friend. It was not a
-neighbor. It was not a student. It was a very pretty young woman. She
-was dressed like she was going to a masquerade, with spangled tights,
-or something of that nature, a glittering tiara and shoes covered with
-rhinestones.
-
-Her hair was black and her eyes were brown. There was a faint flush on
-her cheeks that looked well with the ivory shade of her smooth skin.
-
-Without being invited, she stepped past Homer and into the house. She
-looked around, from floor to the ceiling. She strode across the room
-and sank down on Homer's overstuffed divan.
-
-"I like this place," she said. "Do you want to move, or will you share
-it with me?"
-
-"Uh?" Homer laughed nervously. "I beg pardon?"
-
-"What for? You didn't do anything."
-
-"I meant I misunderstood you," Homer said. "I thought you suggested
-taking my house away from me."
-
-"I didn't," said the young woman. "If you want to stay, it's all right
-with me. I'll only be here a few days. The place is much too large for
-one person."
-
-Homer's jaw dropped. He closed his mouth and bobbed his adam's apple a
-couple of times. But he was beyond words.
-
- * * * * *
-
-She rose, strode across the room and opened the front door. She stepped
-out on the porch and Homer felt a momentary relief. It was an illusion.
-C. J.'s offer had been more of a shock than he thought. Then she
-appeared again, carrying a black bag.
-
-"Where will I put my things?" she asked.
-
-"Ma'am," said Homer. "I am a gentleman." That, he decided, was the best
-way to state his position in mixed company.
-
-"What has that got to do with it? I'm a lady."
-
-"Certainly, ma'am, but you must realize that what you're suggesting
-is--er--most unorthodox. I don't propose to turn my house over to you
-with or without company. Even if--" Homer clamped his jaw shut for he
-almost said that the offer was attractive. How could he have said such
-a thing? He'd hardly known this woman for a full minute.
-
-"Your house? I'll admit your arms and legs are yours, and so no doubt
-is your hair, your teeth, your eyes and your ears. But how can you say
-this house is yours?"
-
-Homer looked at the girl. She spoke perfect English although now that
-he noticed there _was_ just a slight accent. She had something of an
-Italian grace, French fire, and the wholesome heartiness of Scandinavia
-in her, and yet she was different.
-
-"It is my private property," said Homer. "I'll admit I do not own it,
-but I rent it. I have a year's lease."
-
-"When I studied your customs and manners I must have overlooked a few
-things," she said. "But I can't see how you can own a dwelling."
-
-Homer was horrified. Undoubtedly she was from behind the Iron Curtain.
-"This is America, ma'am," he said stiffly.
-
-"I thought this was the earth," she said.
-
-Again Homer's jaw dropped as if he had not heard correctly. "Do you
-mean that you are from Some Other Place?" His voice supplied capitals.
-
-"I am assuredly not of _this_ planet," she said. "I'm Qalith of Planet
-12, star 10, Pleiades." Her smile was pleasant too, Homer observed. "I
-learned your language by telepathy but unfortunately I didn't go deeply
-into your economics and social customs."
-
-Homer decided she must have tuned in on Russia, then he realized that
-English is not usually spoken there, so he assumed she had listened to
-some subversives somewhere. If she _was_ from the Pleiades. More than
-likely she was a spy. "Do you think the Revolution will come during our
-life-time?" he asked.
-
-"There is a revolution every twenty-four hours on this planet," she
-smiled. "On my planet the revolution is 26 hours, your hours."
-
-This was a joke, Homer decided. A student trick, extremely in bad
-taste. Especially since it entailed a girl to expose herself in such a
-costume.
-
-"I hope you didn't park your spaceship by a fire plug," he said
-sarcastically.
-
-"Fire plug? I missed that when I learned your language. Something
-electrical, no doubt. But if you mean my space shuttle, it is in
-a desolate area south of here." She pointed in the direction of
-the Cambridge Manor Country Club. "We know that spaceships have a
-disturbing effect on primitive races such as yours."
-
-In spite of Homer's determination not to believe this girl, he felt
-an admiration in the way she played her role. He wondered if there
-was really a spaceship on the golf course. It would certainly have a
-disturbing effect on early morning golfers. Good heavens! C. J. Fader
-belonged to Cambridge Manor!
-
-"Miss--er--Qalith," Homer said, "your being here presents problems,
-whether or not you are from the Pleiades! You must understand that this
-isn't the proper thing to do." Homer glanced toward the window and
-quickly moved over to the venetian blinds which he turned downward,
-just in case one of the neighbors looked in. "I must sit down and think
-a moment. Then we'll decide what must be done."
-
-"I know what I'm going to do," said Qalith. "So you decide what you're
-going to do."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Homer had a bottle of bourbon in his kitchen cabinet. The board of
-trustees of Faderfield Junior College frowned on faculty drinking of
-any sort, and of course alcoholic beverages were forbidden on the
-campus under strictest penalties--expulsion for a student, dismissal
-for an instructor. But Homer was extremely moderate and there were
-times when he felt that whisky had a respectable place in the scheme of
-things. He poured himself a drink, after offering one to Miss Qalith.
-She declined.
-
-"I must be careful what I eat and drink on strange planets," she said.
-
-"A wise forethought," Homer said, with a nod. He mixed the whisky with
-tap water, dropped in an ice cube and began sipping it as he sat in a
-straight-backed chair opposite her.
-
-"Now," he began, "I won't question anything you've said. It doesn't
-matter really whether you were born in Faderfield, the next county or a
-planet 200 light years distant. There's one fact we can't deny. You are
-a woman. Right?"
-
-"You are perceptive, sir--"
-
-"My name's Homer," he said. He smiled and she smiled back. Homer
-finished his drink and put aside the glass. "I'm a man."
-
-"That I had already perceived."
-
-"Do men and women--ah--occupy the same lodgings on Planet 12?"
-
-"Certainly. And so do they here. I looked in all the houses on this
-street before I came to yours. I picked your house because you were
-alone."
-
-"But those people are married!" said Homer. "I'm an unmarried man. A
-bachelor."
-
-"Are you a social outcast? An exile?" Qalith asked.
-
-"No. I have not chosen a mate--as yet," he didn't want her to think he
-was opposed to the idea. "On earth it's not customary for an unmarried
-couple--"
-
-"Oh," said Qalith. "That old thing."
-
-Homer felt a little indignant. "It isn't to be ignored."
-
-"Far be it from me to upset the earth," she said. "I just dropped in
-for a brief time to complete our museum catalog of your system. We're
-not complete on the earth, you see, and your little village seemed to
-have a pretty fair representation of human society, except a lack of
-primitive tribes. Now I'm not so sure it is anything but primitive."
-
-"We are civilized," said Homer. "Highly civilized. We have a certain
-moral code and your being with me jeopardizes my position in respect
-to that code." He paused. "If anyone saw you here, I'd be disgraced. I
-couldn't face my fellow citizens." He added mentally that he wouldn't
-get that job with Fader's Fadeless Formulae if he wanted it.
-
-"Is that why you closed the blinds?"
-
-Homer nodded.
-
-"It would seem to me to be worse if people knew I was here and didn't
-see us," she said. "But I'm new to your planet and I still have a
-problem. Where will I stay?"
-
-Homer thought quickly. "There's a rooming house where some of the lady
-teachers stay." He paused, looked at her spangled costume and shook his
-head. "But your clothes wouldn't be understood. They'd think you were a
-burlesque queen."
-
-"A burlesque queen?"
-
-"Another thing you'd never understand," said Homer. "If I could find
-the proper clothes, I could say you were a cousin from Des Moines--"
-
-"What is a cousin from Des Moines?"
-
-Homer shook his head. "You'd give away the show."
-
-"Why don't you say I'm from another planet?"
-
-"No one would believe it. In fact, I'm not sure I believe it myself."
-
-"If Earthlings won't believe the truth, why not let me stay here? No
-one would believe I did."
-
-"You don't understand," Homer groaned. "There's such a thing as
-custom. Moral law. Ethics. Social behavior. There are ways a person can
-act because to act otherwise is not the thing to do. Certain things
-cannot be done and people are quick to suspect that they are being done
-sometimes when they're not being done. Am I clear?"
-
-"No," said Qalith. "But the earth file in our museum is going to be a
-large one."
-
-Suddenly the phone rang. Homer jumped and knocked his empty glass to
-the floor. Quickly he rose and lifted the phone.
-
-"This is Fader, Hopkins," came a voice over the wire. "About my
-letter--"
-
-"Oh yes, C. J. It came today."
-
-"This is a big thing, my boy."
-
-"I know it is, C. J."
-
-"I want to get started on it immediately."
-
-"To be frank, C. J., I wanted a little time to think it over."
-
-"I'll make it twelve thousand if you make up your mind now--tonight,"
-Fader said. "I'm going to expand. I'll make Fader's Fadeless the
-biggest line of paints in the world, but I've got to have research.
-You've convinced me you can do the job--"
-
-"Can't I call you back C. J.? I just want to study this thing--" And
-get rid of Qalith, Homer told himself.
-
-"No! I'm coming over to talk to you." There was a click in the receiver
-and Homer held a silent phone.
-
-"A funny instrument," said Qalith, "It'll never take the place of
-telepathy."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Homer put the phone back in its cradle, and picked up the empty liquor
-glass. He took it to the kitchen. It wasn't the first thing he had to
-do, but C. J. might not approve so Homer had to get it out of sight. He
-closed the kitchen cabinet door so the whisky was out of sight. Then he
-went to the living room and saw that Qalith was unpacking her bag.
-
-Homer could see the spangles of garments like the one she wore. She was
-setting out small boxes, which looked a great deal like boxes of things
-that women always carry--perfume, cosmetics, and so on.
-
-"No, no, no!" Homer shouted. "You mustn't unpack your bag! C. J. will
-be here any minute."
-
-"I was here first," said Qalith.
-
-"Listen, Qalith," said Homer, "On your planet there must be certain
-rules of conduct that may seem outlandish when considered alone, but
-have very good reason for being when you consider them in the light of
-other facts."
-
-"Oh yes," said Qalith. "One should always wear a telepathy helmet when
-he's keeping a secret."
-
-Homer took Qalith by the arm, led her to the divan and sat down beside
-her. Quickly and pointedly he told her about Fader's Fadeless Formulae
-and the opportunity that faced him. And he gave her the Facts of life.
-
-"The only drawback is that old skinflint Fader himself," Homer
-explained. "As I'm fixed now, I have a pleasant job. The dean's nice
-and easy going. I get along fine and I like my work. Fader will pay me
-twice as much, but he'll be breathing down my neck every minute, making
-sure he's making a 90 per cent profit on everything I do."
-
-"You don't know whether to take a job in which you'll be unhappy, but
-which can give you what you want or to stay on a job where you'll be
-happy, but poor. Is that it?" Qalith looked at him with a curious
-expression in her eyes.
-
-"That's it," said Homer.
-
-The front doorbell rang and Homer realized he'd spent more time
-explaining to Qalith than he should have spent. He jumped to his feet.
-His arms swept up the boxes and piled them into the bag. He lifted the
-bag and ran to the kitchen. "Hide, Qalith! Hide quickly! In the bedroom
-and close the door!" he said.
-
-He thrust the bag in the broom closet off the kitchen.
-
-When he returned he saw Qalith admitting C. J. Fader at the front door.
-
-"Harrumph!" said Mr. Fader. His eyes traveled over Qalith from spangled
-boots to gleaming tiara.
-
-"Oh, Mr. Fader," said Homer thickly.
-
-"I must have arrived more quickly than you anticipated," said Fader. He
-stepped forward and nudged Homer. "You sly young dog."
-
-"It's not what you think, C. J.," said Homer.
-
-"I haven't said a word about what I thought," said Fader. "What I want
-to know is where you found her."
-
-"I didn't--"
-
-"I'm from another planet," said Qalith.
-
-"I'll say you are, baby," said Fader, chucking her under the chin. "You
-know, Homer here had me fooled. But I can see he's not as namby pamby
-as I thought. Yes, sir! He's quite a boy."
-
-"He's been explaining all of the manners and customs of the earth to
-me," said Qalith.
-
-"And I'll bet he knows how!" said Fader.
-
-"It's really the truth," said Homer. "Qalith is from the Pleiades."
-
-"Oh yes! Near Cincinnati! Well I always heard those Cincy girls were
-pretty cute. Playing at the Roxy?"
-
-Homer shuddered. "She's left her spaceship on the Cambridge Manor golf
-links," he said.
-
-Mr. Fader roared. "Homer, you're a man after my own heart! I'll tell
-you what, boy. You come into my organization and I'll make you a vice
-president with a big chunk of stock. You can have charge of research
-and if you can line up the babes for our conventions we'll put the
-whole dammed paint trade in our pocket inside of two years! After all,
-boy, it's girls and salesmen, not the quality of your product that win
-on today's market!"
-
-Slowly the idea sank into Homer's brain. Mr. Fader hadn't wanted to
-hire him because he was anything special as a chemist.
-
-"How much will I get?" Homer asked bluntly.
-
-"The stock ought to be worth twelve thousand a year," said Fader. "On
-top of that you'll get twenty-five thousand as vice president in charge
-of research and conventions."
-
-And the ten thousand that Homer hoped to get had been cheap. Ten
-thousand for a chemist, twenty-five for a salesman, plus a bundle of
-stock. A high priced pimp.
-
-"Are you sure I'll be worth it?"
-
-"Don't talk like a nincompoop, boy! We're in." He turned to Qalith.
-"Got any friends, honey?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Qalith's eyes seemed to gleam. Fader's hand straightened with a jerk.
-He stood stiffly.
-
-"He's hypnotized," said Qalith. "We can talk and he won't hear or
-remember what we say."
-
-"There's not much to be said," said Homer.
-
-"You don't want the job?"
-
-"With this lecherous old tom-cat?"
-
-Qalith smiled. "You are Puritanical," she said. "You're stuffy and
-naive and innocent. But I like you."
-
-"I'm probably crazy too," said Homer.
-
-Qalith shook her head. "No. You're unhappy. You don't like being a
-teacher either, do you?"
-
-"Of course I do!" Homer spoke with too much emphasis. "It's a pleasant
-life."
-
-"But you've seen broken old men teaching. Men who had brains and who
-didn't have a cent in their savings account. You know you'll starve all
-your life and get very little thanks for discovering genius. You know
-and you want to get away from it. That's why you even considered going
-with Fader in the first place. If you'd really been contented you'd
-have turned him down right off."
-
-Homer realized she spoke the truth. "But any job has its drawbacks.
-I've either got to teach chemistry or become a research chemist.
-From what I've seen, Fader and Faderfield Junior College are my only
-choices. And Chemistry is all I know."
-
-"You know about ethics and customs of your planet. You know what people
-are supposed to do and rarely do."
-
-"It doesn't make a living for me."
-
-"Not on earth. But on Planet 12, you'd be an authority on the planet
-Earth. The only authority because you know all about the earth's unkept
-laws of social conduct and you're one of the few that ever kept those
-laws."
-
-One thing held Homer back. "Is your planet really communistic? Don't
-you have private property?"
-
-"Do you own this house?"
-
-"Well I rent it, but some people do own their houses."
-
-"Are you sure?"
-
-"Well, they have mortgages and taxes and so on."
-
-"Actually very few people own what they think they have, excepting
-their bodies."
-
-"But men move in with women and women move in with men--"
-
-"This thing you call marriage corresponds with a custom we have," said
-Qalith. "I was going to marry you."
-
-"I don't know you and you don't know me!"
-
-"How do you think I found you without telepathy? And you've seen me
-now--is there anything wrong about me that--well, that--"
-
-"Nothing!" Homer said fervently. He thought of people who had courted
-many years and still didn't know each other. Then he glanced down at
-Fader, still staring hypnotically. "What a tale he's going to spread
-about town tomorrow!" Homer said.
-
-"He won't believe it," said Qalith.
-
-"I'll be gone," said Homer.
-
-"Then we'd better get going. You can work on the earth file on the trip
-to the Pleiades."
-
-"Says you," said Homer. He got her bag from the broom closet and as
-an afterthought, he picked up his rod and tackle. Maybe he'd get some
-fishing done on Planet 12, among other things--
-
-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MATTER OF ETHICS ***
-
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-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Matter of Ethics, by Russ Winterbotham</p>
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: A Matter of Ethics</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Russ Winterbotham</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: October 19, 2021 [eBook #66574]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MATTER OF ETHICS ***</div>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<p>Homer was a shy Faderfield bachelor; his<br />
-visitor was a beautiful Pleiades girl. At any<br />
-rate she was a girl, and Homer had a problem&mdash;</p>
-
-<h1>A MATTER OF ETHICS</h1>
-
-<h2>By Russ Winterbotham</h2>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br />
-April 1955<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>The fly rod, the letter and the small jar of paint were, in a sense,
-half of the problem Homer Hopkins had to solve. The other half rested
-in his complex mind.</p>
-
-<p>Fader's Fadeless Formulae had offered him a position, not a job, to
-take charge of its research department, at ten thousand a year, twice
-what he was paid at Faderfield Junior College to teach chemistry. All
-this was in the letter.</p>
-
-<p>"But I like being a teacher," said Homer. And he looked at the fly
-rod. "And I also like to fish." Teaching chemistry had left him little
-time for fishing. The science had advanced with such gigantic strides
-that Homer was continually catching up on the subject. He spent his
-vacations going to colleges, and his off days reading literature,
-orienting himself.</p>
-
-<p>The little jar of paint had brought it about. Homer had sent a jar like
-it to C. J. Fader suggesting that it be placed on the market. All Homer
-had wanted was a fat check, and a royalty which he could invest so he
-could retire someday. Instead, C. J. Fader had offered him a job. The
-Old Man, who ran the principal industry of Faderfield, would expect a
-new formula a month and Homer was afraid he might not be able to turn
-one out every month. Homer knew enough about C. J. to realize that if
-he offered ten thousand, he would expect a ninety-thousand profit.
-Homer could qualify for the first figure, but he wasn't so sure about
-the second.</p>
-
-<p>And then the door bell rang.</p>
-
-<p>Homer glanced out the window at the row of lighted houses across
-the street. He lived by himself in a little four-room cottage near
-the junior college. Twice a week the cleaning woman got rid of the
-male litter and on Saturdays a student did the outside work to keep
-the little rented home in trim with the rest of the neat little
-neighborhood. Homer managed by himself the rest of the time.</p>
-
-<p>Whoever was at the door was not in line with the window. Callers were
-not infrequent. There were three other bachelor males in the chemistry
-department who dropped in occasionally. And some of the neighbors came
-over from time to time, usually to borrow a book. Students sometimes
-came to see him, especially when their grades were low.</p>
-
-<p>Homer opened the door. It was not a bachelor friend. It was not a
-neighbor. It was not a student. It was a very pretty young woman. She
-was dressed like she was going to a masquerade, with spangled tights,
-or something of that nature, a glittering tiara and shoes covered with
-rhinestones.</p>
-
-<p>Her hair was black and her eyes were brown. There was a faint flush on
-her cheeks that looked well with the ivory shade of her smooth skin.</p>
-
-<p>Without being invited, she stepped past Homer and into the house. She
-looked around, from floor to the ceiling. She strode across the room
-and sank down on Homer's overstuffed divan.</p>
-
-<p>"I like this place," she said. "Do you want to move, or will you share
-it with me?"</p>
-
-<p>"Uh?" Homer laughed nervously. "I beg pardon?"</p>
-
-<p>"What for? You didn't do anything."</p>
-
-<p>"I meant I misunderstood you," Homer said. "I thought you suggested
-taking my house away from me."</p>
-
-<p>"I didn't," said the young woman. "If you want to stay, it's all right
-with me. I'll only be here a few days. The place is much too large for
-one person."</p>
-
-<p>Homer's jaw dropped. He closed his mouth and bobbed his adam's apple a
-couple of times. But he was beyond words.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>She rose, strode across the room and opened the front door. She stepped
-out on the porch and Homer felt a momentary relief. It was an illusion.
-C. J.'s offer had been more of a shock than he thought. Then she
-appeared again, carrying a black bag.</p>
-
-<p>"Where will I put my things?" she asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Ma'am," said Homer. "I am a gentleman." That, he decided, was the best
-way to state his position in mixed company.</p>
-
-<p>"What has that got to do with it? I'm a lady."</p>
-
-<p>"Certainly, ma'am, but you must realize that what you're suggesting
-is&mdash;er&mdash;most unorthodox. I don't propose to turn my house over to you
-with or without company. Even if&mdash;" Homer clamped his jaw shut for he
-almost said that the offer was attractive. How could he have said such
-a thing? He'd hardly known this woman for a full minute.</p>
-
-<p>"Your house? I'll admit your arms and legs are yours, and so no doubt
-is your hair, your teeth, your eyes and your ears. But how can you say
-this house is yours?"</p>
-
-<p>Homer looked at the girl. She spoke perfect English although now that
-he noticed there <i>was</i> just a slight accent. She had something of an
-Italian grace, French fire, and the wholesome heartiness of Scandinavia
-in her, and yet she was different.</p>
-
-<p>"It is my private property," said Homer. "I'll admit I do not own it,
-but I rent it. I have a year's lease."</p>
-
-<p>"When I studied your customs and manners I must have overlooked a few
-things," she said. "But I can't see how you can own a dwelling."</p>
-
-<p>Homer was horrified. Undoubtedly she was from behind the Iron Curtain.
-"This is America, ma'am," he said stiffly.</p>
-
-<p>"I thought this was the earth," she said.</p>
-
-<p>Again Homer's jaw dropped as if he had not heard correctly. "Do you
-mean that you are from Some Other Place?" His voice supplied capitals.</p>
-
-<p>"I am assuredly not of <i>this</i> planet," she said. "I'm Qalith of Planet
-12, star 10, Pleiades." Her smile was pleasant too, Homer observed. "I
-learned your language by telepathy but unfortunately I didn't go deeply
-into your economics and social customs."</p>
-
-<p>Homer decided she must have tuned in on Russia, then he realized that
-English is not usually spoken there, so he assumed she had listened to
-some subversives somewhere. If she <i>was</i> from the Pleiades. More than
-likely she was a spy. "Do you think the Revolution will come during our
-life-time?" he asked.</p>
-
-<p>"There is a revolution every twenty-four hours on this planet," she
-smiled. "On my planet the revolution is 26 hours, your hours."</p>
-
-<p>This was a joke, Homer decided. A student trick, extremely in bad
-taste. Especially since it entailed a girl to expose herself in such a
-costume.</p>
-
-<p>"I hope you didn't park your spaceship by a fire plug," he said
-sarcastically.</p>
-
-<p>"Fire plug? I missed that when I learned your language. Something
-electrical, no doubt. But if you mean my space shuttle, it is in
-a desolate area south of here." She pointed in the direction of
-the Cambridge Manor Country Club. "We know that spaceships have a
-disturbing effect on primitive races such as yours."</p>
-
-<p>In spite of Homer's determination not to believe this girl, he felt
-an admiration in the way she played her role. He wondered if there
-was really a spaceship on the golf course. It would certainly have a
-disturbing effect on early morning golfers. Good heavens! C. J. Fader
-belonged to Cambridge Manor!</p>
-
-<p>"Miss&mdash;er&mdash;Qalith," Homer said, "your being here presents problems,
-whether or not you are from the Pleiades! You must understand that this
-isn't the proper thing to do." Homer glanced toward the window and
-quickly moved over to the venetian blinds which he turned downward,
-just in case one of the neighbors looked in. "I must sit down and think
-a moment. Then we'll decide what must be done."</p>
-
-<p>"I know what I'm going to do," said Qalith. "So you decide what you're
-going to do."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Homer had a bottle of bourbon in his kitchen cabinet. The board of
-trustees of Faderfield Junior College frowned on faculty drinking of
-any sort, and of course alcoholic beverages were forbidden on the
-campus under strictest penalties&mdash;expulsion for a student, dismissal
-for an instructor. But Homer was extremely moderate and there were
-times when he felt that whisky had a respectable place in the scheme of
-things. He poured himself a drink, after offering one to Miss Qalith.
-She declined.</p>
-
-<p>"I must be careful what I eat and drink on strange planets," she said.</p>
-
-<p>"A wise forethought," Homer said, with a nod. He mixed the whisky with
-tap water, dropped in an ice cube and began sipping it as he sat in a
-straight-backed chair opposite her.</p>
-
-<p>"Now," he began, "I won't question anything you've said. It doesn't
-matter really whether you were born in Faderfield, the next county or a
-planet 200 light years distant. There's one fact we can't deny. You are
-a woman. Right?"</p>
-
-<p>"You are perceptive, sir&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"My name's Homer," he said. He smiled and she smiled back. Homer
-finished his drink and put aside the glass. "I'm a man."</p>
-
-<p>"That I had already perceived."</p>
-
-<p>"Do men and women&mdash;ah&mdash;occupy the same lodgings on Planet 12?"</p>
-
-<p>"Certainly. And so do they here. I looked in all the houses on this
-street before I came to yours. I picked your house because you were
-alone."</p>
-
-<p>"But those people are married!" said Homer. "I'm an unmarried man. A
-bachelor."</p>
-
-<p>"Are you a social outcast? An exile?" Qalith asked.</p>
-
-<p>"No. I have not chosen a mate&mdash;as yet," he didn't want her to think he
-was opposed to the idea. "On earth it's not customary for an unmarried
-couple&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh," said Qalith. "That old thing."</p>
-
-<p>Homer felt a little indignant. "It isn't to be ignored."</p>
-
-<p>"Far be it from me to upset the earth," she said. "I just dropped in
-for a brief time to complete our museum catalog of your system. We're
-not complete on the earth, you see, and your little village seemed to
-have a pretty fair representation of human society, except a lack of
-primitive tribes. Now I'm not so sure it is anything but primitive."</p>
-
-<p>"We are civilized," said Homer. "Highly civilized. We have a certain
-moral code and your being with me jeopardizes my position in respect
-to that code." He paused. "If anyone saw you here, I'd be disgraced. I
-couldn't face my fellow citizens." He added mentally that he wouldn't
-get that job with Fader's Fadeless Formulae if he wanted it.</p>
-
-<p>"Is that why you closed the blinds?"</p>
-
-<p>Homer nodded.</p>
-
-<p>"It would seem to me to be worse if people knew I was here and didn't
-see us," she said. "But I'm new to your planet and I still have a
-problem. Where will I stay?"</p>
-
-<p>Homer thought quickly. "There's a rooming house where some of the lady
-teachers stay." He paused, looked at her spangled costume and shook his
-head. "But your clothes wouldn't be understood. They'd think you were a
-burlesque queen."</p>
-
-<p>"A burlesque queen?"</p>
-
-<p>"Another thing you'd never understand," said Homer. "If I could find
-the proper clothes, I could say you were a cousin from Des Moines&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"What is a cousin from Des Moines?"</p>
-
-<p>Homer shook his head. "You'd give away the show."</p>
-
-<p>"Why don't you say I'm from another planet?"</p>
-
-<p>"No one would believe it. In fact, I'm not sure I believe it myself."</p>
-
-<p>"If Earthlings won't believe the truth, why not let me stay here? No
-one would believe I did."</p>
-
-<p>"You don't understand," Homer groaned. "There's such a thing as
-custom. Moral law. Ethics. Social behavior. There are ways a person can
-act because to act otherwise is not the thing to do. Certain things
-cannot be done and people are quick to suspect that they are being done
-sometimes when they're not being done. Am I clear?"</p>
-
-<p>"No," said Qalith. "But the earth file in our museum is going to be a
-large one."</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly the phone rang. Homer jumped and knocked his empty glass to
-the floor. Quickly he rose and lifted the phone.</p>
-
-<p>"This is Fader, Hopkins," came a voice over the wire. "About my
-letter&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh yes, C. J. It came today."</p>
-
-<p>"This is a big thing, my boy."</p>
-
-<p>"I know it is, C. J."</p>
-
-<p>"I want to get started on it immediately."</p>
-
-<p>"To be frank, C. J., I wanted a little time to think it over."</p>
-
-<p>"I'll make it twelve thousand if you make up your mind now&mdash;tonight,"
-Fader said. "I'm going to expand. I'll make Fader's Fadeless the
-biggest line of paints in the world, but I've got to have research.
-You've convinced me you can do the job&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Can't I call you back C. J.? I just want to study this thing&mdash;" And
-get rid of Qalith, Homer told himself.</p>
-
-<p>"No! I'm coming over to talk to you." There was a click in the receiver
-and Homer held a silent phone.</p>
-
-<p>"A funny instrument," said Qalith, "It'll never take the place of
-telepathy."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Homer put the phone back in its cradle, and picked up the empty liquor
-glass. He took it to the kitchen. It wasn't the first thing he had to
-do, but C. J. might not approve so Homer had to get it out of sight. He
-closed the kitchen cabinet door so the whisky was out of sight. Then he
-went to the living room and saw that Qalith was unpacking her bag.</p>
-
-<p>Homer could see the spangles of garments like the one she wore. She was
-setting out small boxes, which looked a great deal like boxes of things
-that women always carry&mdash;perfume, cosmetics, and so on.</p>
-
-<p>"No, no, no!" Homer shouted. "You mustn't unpack your bag! C. J. will
-be here any minute."</p>
-
-<p>"I was here first," said Qalith.</p>
-
-<p>"Listen, Qalith," said Homer, "On your planet there must be certain
-rules of conduct that may seem outlandish when considered alone, but
-have very good reason for being when you consider them in the light of
-other facts."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh yes," said Qalith. "One should always wear a telepathy helmet when
-he's keeping a secret."</p>
-
-<p>Homer took Qalith by the arm, led her to the divan and sat down beside
-her. Quickly and pointedly he told her about Fader's Fadeless Formulae
-and the opportunity that faced him. And he gave her the Facts of life.</p>
-
-<p>"The only drawback is that old skinflint Fader himself," Homer
-explained. "As I'm fixed now, I have a pleasant job. The dean's nice
-and easy going. I get along fine and I like my work. Fader will pay me
-twice as much, but he'll be breathing down my neck every minute, making
-sure he's making a 90 per cent profit on everything I do."</p>
-
-<p>"You don't know whether to take a job in which you'll be unhappy, but
-which can give you what you want or to stay on a job where you'll be
-happy, but poor. Is that it?" Qalith looked at him with a curious
-expression in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>"That's it," said Homer.</p>
-
-<p>The front doorbell rang and Homer realized he'd spent more time
-explaining to Qalith than he should have spent. He jumped to his feet.
-His arms swept up the boxes and piled them into the bag. He lifted the
-bag and ran to the kitchen. "Hide, Qalith! Hide quickly! In the bedroom
-and close the door!" he said.</p>
-
-<p>He thrust the bag in the broom closet off the kitchen.</p>
-
-<p>When he returned he saw Qalith admitting C. J. Fader at the front door.</p>
-
-<p>"Harrumph!" said Mr. Fader. His eyes traveled over Qalith from spangled
-boots to gleaming tiara.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Mr. Fader," said Homer thickly.</p>
-
-<p>"I must have arrived more quickly than you anticipated," said Fader. He
-stepped forward and nudged Homer. "You sly young dog."</p>
-
-<p>"It's not what you think, C. J.," said Homer.</p>
-
-<p>"I haven't said a word about what I thought," said Fader. "What I want
-to know is where you found her."</p>
-
-<p>"I didn't&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm from another planet," said Qalith.</p>
-
-<p>"I'll say you are, baby," said Fader, chucking her under the chin. "You
-know, Homer here had me fooled. But I can see he's not as namby pamby
-as I thought. Yes, sir! He's quite a boy."</p>
-
-<p>"He's been explaining all of the manners and customs of the earth to
-me," said Qalith.</p>
-
-<p>"And I'll bet he knows how!" said Fader.</p>
-
-<p>"It's really the truth," said Homer. "Qalith is from the Pleiades."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh yes! Near Cincinnati! Well I always heard those Cincy girls were
-pretty cute. Playing at the Roxy?"</p>
-
-<p>Homer shuddered. "She's left her spaceship on the Cambridge Manor golf
-links," he said.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Fader roared. "Homer, you're a man after my own heart! I'll tell
-you what, boy. You come into my organization and I'll make you a vice
-president with a big chunk of stock. You can have charge of research
-and if you can line up the babes for our conventions we'll put the
-whole dammed paint trade in our pocket inside of two years! After all,
-boy, it's girls and salesmen, not the quality of your product that win
-on today's market!"</p>
-
-<p>Slowly the idea sank into Homer's brain. Mr. Fader hadn't wanted to
-hire him because he was anything special as a chemist.</p>
-
-<p>"How much will I get?" Homer asked bluntly.</p>
-
-<p>"The stock ought to be worth twelve thousand a year," said Fader. "On
-top of that you'll get twenty-five thousand as vice president in charge
-of research and conventions."</p>
-
-<p>And the ten thousand that Homer hoped to get had been cheap. Ten
-thousand for a chemist, twenty-five for a salesman, plus a bundle of
-stock. A high priced pimp.</p>
-
-<p>"Are you sure I'll be worth it?"</p>
-
-<p>"Don't talk like a nincompoop, boy! We're in." He turned to Qalith.
-"Got any friends, honey?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Qalith's eyes seemed to gleam. Fader's hand straightened with a jerk.
-He stood stiffly.</p>
-
-<p>"He's hypnotized," said Qalith. "We can talk and he won't hear or
-remember what we say."</p>
-
-<p>"There's not much to be said," said Homer.</p>
-
-<p>"You don't want the job?"</p>
-
-<p>"With this lecherous old tom-cat?"</p>
-
-<p>Qalith smiled. "You are Puritanical," she said. "You're stuffy and
-naive and innocent. But I like you."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm probably crazy too," said Homer.</p>
-
-<p>Qalith shook her head. "No. You're unhappy. You don't like being a
-teacher either, do you?"</p>
-
-<p>"Of course I do!" Homer spoke with too much emphasis. "It's a pleasant
-life."</p>
-
-<p>"But you've seen broken old men teaching. Men who had brains and who
-didn't have a cent in their savings account. You know you'll starve all
-your life and get very little thanks for discovering genius. You know
-and you want to get away from it. That's why you even considered going
-with Fader in the first place. If you'd really been contented you'd
-have turned him down right off."</p>
-
-<p>Homer realized she spoke the truth. "But any job has its drawbacks.
-I've either got to teach chemistry or become a research chemist.
-From what I've seen, Fader and Faderfield Junior College are my only
-choices. And Chemistry is all I know."</p>
-
-<p>"You know about ethics and customs of your planet. You know what people
-are supposed to do and rarely do."</p>
-
-<p>"It doesn't make a living for me."</p>
-
-<p>"Not on earth. But on Planet 12, you'd be an authority on the planet
-Earth. The only authority because you know all about the earth's unkept
-laws of social conduct and you're one of the few that ever kept those
-laws."</p>
-
-<p>One thing held Homer back. "Is your planet really communistic? Don't
-you have private property?"</p>
-
-<p>"Do you own this house?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well I rent it, but some people do own their houses."</p>
-
-<p>"Are you sure?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, they have mortgages and taxes and so on."</p>
-
-<p>"Actually very few people own what they think they have, excepting
-their bodies."</p>
-
-<p>"But men move in with women and women move in with men&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"This thing you call marriage corresponds with a custom we have," said
-Qalith. "I was going to marry you."</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know you and you don't know me!"</p>
-
-<p>"How do you think I found you without telepathy? And you've seen me
-now&mdash;is there anything wrong about me that&mdash;well, that&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Nothing!" Homer said fervently. He thought of people who had courted
-many years and still didn't know each other. Then he glanced down at
-Fader, still staring hypnotically. "What a tale he's going to spread
-about town tomorrow!" Homer said.</p>
-
-<p>"He won't believe it," said Qalith.</p>
-
-<p>"I'll be gone," said Homer.</p>
-
-<p>"Then we'd better get going. You can work on the earth file on the trip
-to the Pleiades."</p>
-
-<p>"Says you," said Homer. He got her bag from the broom closet and as
-an afterthought, he picked up his rod and tackle. Maybe he'd get some
-fishing done on Planet 12, among other things&mdash;</p>
-
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