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diff --git a/old/66363-0.txt b/old/66363-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 985a018..0000000 --- a/old/66363-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3501 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Soldier’s Diary, by Ralph Scott - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: A Soldier’s Diary - -Author: Ralph Scott - -Release Date: September 22, 2021 [eBook #66363] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading - Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from - images generously made available by The Internet Archive) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SOLDIER’S DIARY *** - - - - - - A SOLDIER’S DIARY - - - - - _NEW NOVELS_ - - LOVE’S PILGRIM J. D. BERESFORD - NONE-GO-BY MRS. ALFRED SIDGWICK - PIPPIN ARCHIBALD MARSHALL - THE JORDANS SARAH GERTRUDE MILLIN - LIFE E. WINGFIELD-STRATFORD - ROWENA BARNES CONAL O’RIORDAN - - -[Illustration: Collins’ Geographical Establishment, Glasgow.] - - - - - A - SOLDIER’S DIARY - - - _by_ - RALPH SCOTT - -[Illustration] - - LONDON: 48 PALL MALL - W. COLLINS SONS & CO. LTD. - GLASGOW MELBOURNE AUCKLAND - - - - - Copyright 1923. - - - _Manufactured in Great Britain_ - - - - - TO THE P.B.I. - - - - - PREFACE - - BY - MAJOR-GENERAL SIR FREDERICK MAURICE - - -Lord Robert Cecil has said that he is amazed at the false picture of war -given by the history books, and that he trusts that the historians of -the future will give us a better picture of what war really is than have -historians of the past. I doubt if they will. They are concerned with -the statesmen who direct and the generals who control, rather than with -the soldier who fights, they have neither time nor space to concern -themselves with the things that mattered to the men in the ranks. We can -only get the things that matter, the misery, suffering, and endurance, -the filth, the horror, the desolation, which are a part and the greater -part even of the most triumphant progress in modern war, from the men -who have experienced them. - -The reason for the publication of this diary is given by the author in -his entry for October 6. “The only way to stop war is to tell these -facts in the school history books and cut out the rot about the gallant -charges, the victorious returns, and the blushing damsels who scatter -roses under the conquering heroes’ feet. Every soldier knows that the -re-writing of the history books would stop war more effectively than the -most elaborately covenanted league which tired politico-legal minds can -conceive.” Again, in the last entry of all, written after the author has -been watching the Swedish Royal Troops changing guard at the Palace: “Is -there no one with the courage to tell them that war is not like this, -that there will come a day without music, and no admiring eyes, but when -‘the lice are in their hair and the scabs are on their tongue’? Surely -our years of sacrifice were vain if the most highly educated people in -Europe remain in ignorance of the real nature of war and are open -scoffers at the League of Nations.” - -These are not the words of a conscientious objector, nor of a -neurasthenic, introspective man. They are written by a keen, -healthy-minded, sport-loving, young Englishman, who passed through the -war at the front, did his duty nobly, and behaved with great gallantry. -He describes in vivid, clear language, just what he saw, he does not -cover up the horrors with fine phrases, but just sets them down in their -place alongside the stories of devotion and sacrifice, which make up the -high lights in the picture. - -It is remarkable that this story, which even to-day makes one shiver, is -not an account of the grim struggle for the defence of Ypres, of the -grimmer fight through the mud to Passchendaele, nor of the great retreat -when the Germans swarmed over our lines in March, 1918, but of the -period when the tide had turned definitely in our favour, and our armies -swept forward to final victory. It is an account of triumphant war as -seen in the front line. We are told that the public to-day is weary of -war books. It may well be weary of war books of a certain kind, but I -hope it is not weary of learning the truth about the war, and every word -in this book rings true. One of the surest ways to get another war is to -forget about the past war. - - F. MAURICE. - - _30th Nov., 1922._ - - - - - “Hear now a song—a song of broken interludes, - A song of little cunning—of a singer nothing worth, - Through the naked words and mean, - May ye see the truth between, - As the singer knew and touched it in the ends of all the earth!” - RUDYARD KIPLING. - - - - - A SOLDIER’S DIARY - - -_April 23, 1918._ Arrived at the R.E. Base Depot, Rouen, and was -delighted to find a pile of letters waiting for me. Damn fools that we -are, we are all fretting to get back into it again—the lines must be -very thin nowadays. In the evening had an excellent Mess Smoking -Concert, plenty of champagne, and a terrific “fug” in the ante-room. -Heaven knows when we will have another night like this as we are at the -last outpost of civilisation again. - -_April 24._ Wasting time all day at the Demolitions School. God! what -fools we are. Up in the line men are dying like flies for lack of -reinforcements—here are thousands of troops and we cannot go because the -R.T.O.’s staff is too small to cope with the railway embarkation forms! - -_April 25._ Several fellows posted to companies to-day, so that it looks -as if we shall soon be over the wall that Haig spoke about and with our -backs to it again. - -_April 26._ More Demolitions—news still very bad—if they don’t let us go -to the Huns methinks they will come to us. - -_April 27._ Demolitions again. We destroyed a steel rail and heard a -fragment of it go humming away over our heads just like a shell. About -ten minutes afterwards the Colonel came down with great wind-up and -chewed us all to pieces for being careless. Our piece of rail had -evidently gone right over the camp and landed somewhere near the -Revolver Range. Unfortunately, the Colonel had heard it humming over his -hut and it had nearly frightened him to death! - -_April 28._ Church parade. - -_April 29._ Learning how to make dug-outs as practised by an officer who -has never heard a gun go off—I wonder if the Huns do silly things like -this. - -_April 30._ Wasting ammunition all day on the Lewis Gun Ranges. - -_May 1._ Bayonet fighting—so that it looks as if we may eventually get -into it again. One man down from the line to-day says that he has seen -R.E. Field Coys. holding the front lines with P.B.I. in support. Oh! let -us be joyful! - -_May 2._ Had the day off as I am Orderly Officer to-morrow. Went out -with Lucas and two nurses and crossed the Seine by an old-fashioned rope -ferry. Climbed the hills on the far bank and spent a glorious day in the -woods—scenery magnificent and everything so unlike war. In the evening -we boarded a river steamer and went downstream four or five miles to -Rouen. Had tea (so-called), took the nurses back to their camp, and back -to ours by train. Rouen is a strange mixture—Gothic beauty and twentieth -century filth! - -_May 3._ Quiet day. Could hear distant gunfire in the evening—presumably -at Amiens. - -_May 4._ Lucas and Richards went up the line to-day. - -_May 5._ Church parade. Wrote a lot of letters and pretended to be -happy. - -_May 6._ Borrowed a horse from the Cavalry Depot and went for a ride -with one of the nurses. Had a ripping lunch at a little café in Petit -Couronne—omelettes and fresh butter (to say nothing of the nurse) are -much nicer than bully and dry biscuit. In the evening played the Cavalry -at Rugger and whacked them 8–6 after an abnormally hard game. We did -enjoy ourselves. - -_May 7._ Lazy day! Sometimes I wonder if there really is a war on—these -people here don’t know about it, and in England they must naturally know -less. - -_May 8._ Very enjoyable ride in the Forêt de Rouvray with Major J. Had a -damn good nag. - -_May 9._ Poor old Jock received news of his brother’s death in -Mespot—knocked him up badly. - -_May 10._ Great joy. I am posted at last and to my old Coy.—good old war -again! - -_May 11._ AT LAST!!! Left Rouen in a crowded troop train and made myself -thoroughly miserable by wondering if I should ever come back and what -everybody was doing at home, etc., etc. Silly ass! - -_May 12._ Sunday. Passed through Boulogne and Wimereux early in the -morning and then through Calais and Cassel and on to Heidelbeck, where -we slept in the train. Hun planes came over in the night and tried to -bomb the train, but they didn’t get anywhere near us. - -_May 13._ Set off at 9 a.m. to find the company, and after walking -eleven miles with my pack found them at one of the old camps in the -Ypres Salient—quite like home again. The camp is surrounded by guns, and -a battery of 9.2 howitzers just behind us make life unbearable. In the -evening the Divisional Concert Party gave us a very good show in spite -of the fact that the “theatre” was continually shaken by shell -explosions. - -_May 14._ Went up the line with Mellor to take over his work on the -Green Support Line. Paid my respects to Ypres again—it doesn’t alter -much. Whilst I was writing a Bosche plane came over our camp and brought -down two of our Parseval balloons in flames. All the observers managed -to get into their parachutes and landed in the woods about 200 yards -away. Later on two more Bosche came over, but one was driven off and the -other forced to descend with a broken propeller. - -_May 15._ Very heavy bombardment last night and early this morning—our -own batteries replied so we had very little sleep. The Hens laid five -eggs. Went up to Ypres again to make some gas-proof dug-outs. - -_May 16._ Working in the line all day and saw several air fights but no -casualties on either side. At night went up again and had 200 P.B.I. -constructing a barricade on the main Ypres-Poperinghe road. Enemy -strafed the 9.2 howitzer on the Plank Road, and as we passed his shells -were falling about 20 yards away from us. We didn’t stay to observe his -shooting, which was a little too good to be comfortable! Arrived on the -job and found that half the working party had gone astray owing to -Brigade H.Q. giving wrong orders. Damned asses in their well-cut -breeches—if they had to flounder about in trenches all night they would -be more careful. - -The Ypres Salient on an ordinary lively night is a sight to be -remembered. The rise and fall of the Verey Lights makes a circle of fire -all round us, and except just where the Poperinghe road connects us with -the rest of France we appear to be completely surrounded. It is more -than a marvel to me how they have failed to cut us off in that little -bottle-neck. On this particular night Fritz was raining shrapnel into -Dickebusch and our people were giving him a warm time in reply. The 4.5 -howitzers were firing hammer-and-tongs, and as I watched the angry -shell-bursts on the ridge in front I began to feel quite sorry for the -Bosche infantry. However, his field guns sent some high explosive over -just to the left of my barricade, and my sympathy rapidly vanished. -Cycling back in the gray of the morning we saw a 9.2 howitzer being -tugged into position by a tractor and a cottage in Brandhoek just set on -fire by a direct hit. We didn’t linger! - -_May 17._ Working on the barricade again. Much quieter night, but in the -direction of Kemmel there was a very violent bombardment lasting about -20 minutes. Probably a raid by the French. At midnight went into support -battalion dug-out for a whisky and whilst inside the Bosche got a direct -hit on top with a gas shell. On way home noted the cottage in Brandhoek -still smouldering after last night. - -_May 18._ Finished the barricade except for wiring and the barrels of -earth for the fairway. Also completed No. 2 Post. Got strafed by a 5.9 -on the way up, and had wind vertical—10 shells all to myself and very -close. Very quiet night except for a few rounds of shrapnel on the -barricades. - -_May 19._ Sunday. Rode round with the Skipper, taking over all the -demolitions from him as he goes to the Gunners to-morrow as Liaison -Officer. I am now responsible for the explosive charges under all the -bridges behind Ypres, and in case of evacuation of the salient I’ve got -to be the last man to leave, blowing up everything before I go. It’s a -regular suicide club, as I know that fully half the charges won’t go off -unless I fire my revolver into them—disadvantages of belonging to a -corps with high ideals—“blow yourself up rather than fail to blow the -bridge.” - -A 9.2 battery fired just as we rode past them, frightening Blacker’s -horse and giving him rather a bad fall. Heavy drum fire in the evening -in the direction of Locre—heard later that the French got 300 prisoners. -Durhams are doing a raid on our right to-morrow night. - -_May 20._ Busy all day on demolitions—hot day and very quiet. - -_May 21._ Vlamertinghe very heavily shelled with H.E. and shrapnel just -as I was going in. Bosche got another direct hit on the old church tower -and brought more masonry down into the road. Cycling along the Switch -Road behind a lorry when a shell dropped into the swamp about 15 yards -on my right. Tore some big holes in the lorry cover and splashed me with -mud. Lucky the ground was so soft or else I should have had a little -more than wind-up! At night had 260 P.B.I. working for me on the Green -Line. They are the best workers we’ve had yet, and only came out of the -line last night. One of their officers told us a very amusing yarn of a -patrol stunt which he did the other night—captured a Bosche, killed -four, and got away with everything except his tin hat. Recommended for -M.C. Heavy barrage, for Durham’s raid started at 12 midnight and lasted -for three-quarters of an hour. Bosche retaliation on our roads and -forward areas. - -At five minutes to twelve the moon was shining on a peaceful but -desolate scene; the frogs were croaking in the shell-holes, and the only -signs of war were an occasional Verey light beyond Ypres and the lazy -droning of a night bomber overhead. At midnight there was a crash behind -us and instantly our guns let out together, surrounding us with a wall -of noise and leaping, white-hot flame. The S.O.S. began to rise from the -German lines and shortly afterwards the steady crashing of his shrapnel -barrage was added to the din. This went on steadily for three-quarters -of an hour, while we grovelled on our stomachs in the mud, and -punctually at 12.45 settled down to the usual desultory shelling. Had -only one casualty in my party, but he was a nasty sight—chewed to pieces -by a direct hit. On the way back Mellor and I cycled into some gas and -swallowed a bit before we got our bags on—coughing and sneezing all -night and had devilish headache. - -Just outside Vlamertinghe we ran into a smashed ambulance and four -limber mules and two drivers literally splashed about the road—our -wheels were wet with warm blood. Later on we found a saddle-horse blown -in two but could not see any signs of the rider. One of the worst nights -I have had since March! - -_May 22._ Quiet day testing my charges on the bridges. Very hot and -water unobtainable—tried thirst quenchers, which were worse than -nothing. White with dust, and eyes, nose, and mouth full of it. - -_May 23._ Another quiet day testing charges. Derry twice shelled off his -job but had no casualties. - -_May 24._ Heavy rain last night converted everywhere into a quagmire. - -_May 25._ Beautiful hot day again. Completed work on demolitions and -finished all preliminary testing. - -_May 26._ Busy day handing over demolitions—jolly glad to be rid of them -although it means front line work instead. Very heavy shell-fire all -night followed by Bosche attack, in which he captured Ridge Wood and -Scottish Wood. Had seven casualties, and had to ride all the way home in -gasmask. Hear that the Durhams have been very badly hit—two companies -almost entirely gone. - -_May 27._ Am posted as Reserve Officer to our forward company in -addition to my own work. Working under the new major on Main Reserve -Defences. Bosche still shelling very persistently all morning, -especially round Brandhoek, where he fired a large petrol dump. Picked -up some shrapnel which fell within two or three yards of me. Putting in -a double machine-gun post in the top of a ruined windmill—splendid field -of fire and view right away to the foot of Kemmel Hill. God help Jerry -if these gunners stick it! Also constructed a very strong double post in -a farm on the Switch road. - -_May 28._ Up at 5.30 and working hard all day in the Green Line. Twice -shelled out of the front line, and eventually had to withdraw all men to -work on support. I have told Brigade Headquarters three times that it is -madness to work here in daylight and that I cannot accept any -responsibility for casualties—the German observation balloons can see us -all the time, and we are shelled continuously. However, _they_ don’t get -shelled, so it is “Carry on, the work has to be done!” The mists are the -only things that save us—as soon as there is a clear day we shall be -wiped out. - -_May 29._ Had a whole battalion of P.B.I. working for me on Green -Line—in this blasted exposed position again—it makes me feel like a High -Church curate walking naked down the Strand! Shelled out of front line -about 11 a.m., so left Captain of the infantry in charge of parties and -went personally to the General—got his authority to do exactly as I -liked and not to work in front of the village after the morning mists -have cleared. Some one will be wild at my going direct to the General, -but I have shown him up and saved at least 50 lives—but what are 50 -lives to the Staff? - -_May 30._ Tried the front line again, but Fritz knows we are there and -shelled us out with low-bursting shrapnel—nasty stuff! After the men had -withdrawn I went back to see all clear and was damn nearly hit by a -whizz-bang. It burst in a pile of bricks about six paces away. I heard -the explosion, and on looking up saw a column of bricks and debris just -starting on its downward journey again. It rattled all over my tin hat -but I was otherwise untouched. Later on some shrapnel whizzed into the -parapet at my feet and some more crashed through an old notice board by -my head. Hadn’t a single casualty all morning. My luck is still -miraculous and it seems to extend to the men. Bosche aeroplane came over -in the afternoon and brought down three of our balloons in flames. - -_May 31._ Two companies of Fusiliers working for me on Green Line. Misty -morning, so I started in front and got on very well for several hours. -About 9 a.m. a 5.9 ploughed into a breastwork that my corporal and I -were standing on, explaining things to some infantry. Three men were -wounded and the work wrecked, although by all the laws of reason we -should all be dead. Probably owed our safety to the fact that the earth -was newly placed and the shell penetrated a good distance before -exploding. After this our wire was hit three times and the men were -getting nervous, so I withdrew to support, where we spent a fairly quiet -day. Very bad news comes up from the south, and if the Bosche successes -continue we expect to be attacked here. - -_June 1._ Uneventful day except that there are rumours that we are going -out of the line for a rest. Another huge piece of masonry was knocked -off Vlam. church tower last night and buried itself several feet in the -_pavé_. I should think it weighs over ten tons. - -_June 2._ Sunday (I think!). Received orders to move out of the line and -proceed to Army Reserve Area for a rest. Great joy, and as we are much -below strength expect the rest to be a long one—the men need it badly, -and I suppose the Brigade Staff must get their hair cut! Company marched -wearily through dear old Poperinghe and spent a quiet night beyond. All -officers had feather beds although we messed in a granary. The whole -road from Pop. to Wormhoudt was lined with temporary shacks and caravans -where the refugees from Ypres are living. They were a noisy, dirty -crowd, and the music from the estaminets was simply appalling. However, -combined with French beer and women, it seemed to attract Tommy. Oh! ye -women of England, could you but see your heroes now— - - “Singing songs of blasphemy, - At whist with naked whores!” - -At home it is Sunday and you are enjoying the beauties of a June evening -after church. I daren’t think about it, my imagination is too keen. - -_June 3._ Moved off early in the morning and had a long, tiring, and -dusty march, after which we entrained for our final destination. We -passed through very peaceful-looking country, and although not -interesting, it was like Paradise after the desolation of the Salient. -From rail-head we marched to our final billets and arrived there at 8.30 -p.m. absolutely worn out. Like a damn fool I carried two of my fellows’ -packs—but it makes them love me. - -_June 4._ Spent a very quiet day washing, shaving, writing letters, and -generally trying to forget the war. In the afternoon I cycled alone to -Cassel Hill, but it was a misty day so that I could not enjoy the view. -Met a pretty little waitress at the estaminet on the top, where I drank -a bottle of filthy wine. - -_June 5._ Did a little drill, etc., just to keep the men fit, and then -went for a short ride—it is good to be with our horses again. - -_June 6._ Weather is very beautiful. Spent the day in meditating—how I -would love some books now. Gunfire is just audible at night. - -_June 7._ Appointed Lewis Gun Officer to the company and spent the day -lazily, apart from giving two lectures. - -_June 8._ We are going to move again, although, thank heaven, it is -still westwards. At 1.30 p.m. received orders to meet Staff Captain at -Brigade H.Q. at 2.15 p.m., and it is 12 miles away!!!! - -What would they do with bloody fools like that in business at home? And -they make just the same kind of mistakes when lives are at stake. Set -off with 12 men as billeting party, and after a very tiring ride reached -the rendezvous at 6 p.m. to find the blasted captain not yet arrived. I -would love to write down the men’s remarks! When he turned up he told me -that our billets were a little farther on at the next village, but when -I got there I found nothing arranged. After three hours’ hard work (a -great strain on my French!) I had everything ready for the arrival of -the company. M. le Maire and the farmers were very obliging people and -extremely keen to help. If anything they were a little too hospitable, -and as I was in a dickens of a hurry it was rather trying to have to -stay and drink beer with 17 different farmers! About 10 p.m. Mellor -arrived with the main body of cyclists, and we went to the Maire’s to -eat a dry bully sandwich. The old man watched us very gravely, and when -we had absorbed the bully I poured a drink of greenish-looking water -from my bottle. He made an awful face and exclaimed, “Ah! Chateau de la -Pompe, pas bon!” He immediately rushed into his kitchen and brought us -each a huge glass of sparkling cider, and as we drank he roared with -laughter at the recollection of his joke on Chateau de la Pompe. After -this I went out to find the company, and met them on the far side of -Brigade H.Q. about 11.30. I shall never forget how they came back that -night. They were marching with our own Brigade, and long before I met -them I could hear the jingling of the transport, the rhythm of their -step, and occasionally catches of song floating down the valley—“Annie -Laurie!” They have left more than half their pals to “sleep” in Ypres -to-night, they are exhausted, limping, lousy, and white with dust, yet, -thank God! the spirit is still there. The ranks kept well together, and, -finished though they are, I believe they would try to struggle back -to-morrow if it were necessary. I am a sentimental ass even yet, but I -could have cried as I stood on the path and watched the P.B.I. go by. -Except where the fitful glare from a travelling kitchen threw them into -flickering relief it was impossible to see their faces, and yet I felt I -knew them—hard and scarred and ugly, brown as their rifle stocks, as a -real man’s face should be. And always I wonder if England understands, -if England will remember! How many of the ladies whom these darling -blackguards have saved would condescend to trail their dresses through -the hells these boys call home? I wonder and I doubt! - - “There are men in No Man’s Land to-night, - In travail under a starless sky, - Men who wonder if it be right - That you should lie snug in your beds to-night - While they suffer alone—and die!” - -_June 9._ Spent a very quiet day settling down and getting used to the -beauty of our surroundings. We are in a charming little valley between -wooded hills with a pebbly trout stream to sing us to sleep at night. It -is just like Cefn on the Elwy in North Wales—a week here will do us -worlds of good. - -_June 10._ Sunday. Was notified that a battalion of Middlesex is coming -to share our billets with us, so I rode over to see the Area Commandant -and had rather a stormy interview with him. Rode over again in the -afternoon to try to get some tents out of him, and again I was -successful, although between him and the Brigade I made myself generally -unpopular. It has been some sort of fête day in the village to-day and -the Sappers had a good time helping the inhabitants to decorate their -little village square—it was very charming. - -_June 11._ Gave a lecture on the Lewis gun this morning—what profanity -in a charming place like this! - -In the evening went fishing and met an old man casting with fly and -wading. I ventured on conversation and imagine my surprise when he -turned out to be an Englishman—he was very reticent and I should think -has a past! - -_June 12._ Asked the Maire about my Englishman. Apparently he is a real -hermit, and although he has lived in the village for twenty-three years -they know nothing about him—he is a fishing maniac, and they say he -spends most of his time on the river. Pity I am not a novelist—what -wasted possibilities for a real thriller! - -_June 13._ Starting working on the construction of a new rifle range up -in the hills so that the men can keep in trim. Pleasant evening fishing. - -_June 14._ Busy day on the rifle range, but knocked off work early for -company inspection by the C.R.E. I think he was fairly pleased with us, -and he brought a message of congratulation to us from the Divisional -Commander for our work at Ypres. - -_June 15._ Worked all morning on the rifle range with a battalion of -Pioneers. Progress was very slow, as we were working in solid chalk, and -every piece has to be drilled off. In the afternoon went for a ride with -two infantry friends over the hills towards the coast. A most perfect -day, and so very easy to forget that we are engaged in war. Once we came -up through dense pine forests on to the bare summit of the last ridge of -hills before the coast, and to my great delight we could see the spires -of Calais in the distance. Instantly I recalled Matthew Arnold’s lines -and felt certain that he had been on that selfsame ridge when he wrote -them. - - “A thousand knights have reined their steeds - To watch this line of sand hills run - Along the never silent Strait - To Calais glittering in the sun.” - -——and fifty miles away the guns! - -_June 16._ Sunday. Received orders to proceed to Corps Gas School for a -course of training in Anti-Gas Warfare, etc. Went with ten other -officers in a lorry from Brigade H.Q., and persuaded our driver (20 -francs) to get lost in St. Omer. We had an excellent four-course lunch -in approved civilian style, and on arrival at the school at 3 p.m. -well—— - - “Since ’twas very clear, - We drank only ginger beer; - Faith, there must have been - Some stingo in the ginger.” - -_June 17._ Spent a quiet restful day, work starting at 9 a.m. and -finishing at 4 p.m. Wrote letters in the evening and early to bed. - -_June 18._ Had a very interesting day making gas attacks and committing -sundry other barbarities—among them walking round a room smelling -bottles and trying to identify the contents by their stinks—my nose -feels as if the world were composed of one vast unmentionable stink! In -the evening went for an hour’s march in gasmasks—what sublime, -unutterable joy to get them off again! - -_June 19._ Nothing doing at the School, so we made up a party and again -tasted the somewhat bitter-sweets of semi-civilisation. - -_June 20._ Boring day—fed up. - -_June 21._ Manufacturing stinks all day—will be heartily glad to see the -company again. - -_June 22._ Examinations and end of the course—thank God! Felt rotten in -the afternoon and went to bed—pray it isn’t Spanish ’flu, as there is a -terrible lot about. Shortly after midnight a party came into our hut and -took out Captain Sparks and threw him in the pond. Served him right; I -never knew a more bombastic idiot. - -_June 23._ Went back to the company in a motor lorry, arriving 3 p.m. -Found the others playing Badminton over a wire net and in field boots! -Still jolly feverish but cheered up to be with the company again. - -_June 24._ There are rumours about to-day that we are going still -farther away from the war in order to be trained as “storm -troops”—apparently we are considered a good division and we are picked -for the Grand Forlorn Hope of the Allies. Even the most pale-faced -pacifist could hardly help feeling a thrill of pride when he learns that -he is picked for such a venture. Myself I am delighted—until I think of -the married men. It is at least certain that I am far too sentimental to -be a Staff Officer—a man who unconsciously visualises the widows and the -orphans could never do it, and to me it will always be something more -than a game of chess. But perhaps that is only the natural attitude of -the pawn! - -_June 25._ Orders came through last night that we are moving again -to-day, but it is to be eastwards this time. Up all night in -consequence, and had company on the road with all transport by 8.30 a.m. -Marching all day, _via_ Watten to St. Omer, where we arrived at 6 -p.m.—very weary. Had only three hours’ sleep and was roused by Orderly -Corporal at 1 a.m.— - -_June 26._ ——with instructions to meet Staff Captain fifteen miles away -at 7 a.m. What a life! From Brigade went forward on bicycle and arranged -billets for company, which arrived at 4 p.m. Very poor accommodation and -officers had to sleep in tents. - -_June 27._ Spent a quiet day resting and cleaning up after our travels. -Learnt that we are going into the line again south of Ypres, in the -neighbourhood of the Kemmel front. - -_June 28._ Two officers went forward to the line to take over our work -from the French. Spent the day inspecting all our gear and cleaning guns -and ammunition. We are beginning to lose our ragamuffin appearance and -look something like soldiers again to-day. It is wonderful the way the -men can pull themselves together after the times they have had. - -_June 29._ All details completed and we are ready—for what? - -_June 30._ Sunday. At 2 p.m. we left our billets and should be in the -line about 6 p.m. When we set out the company looked smarter than I have -ever seen it, the men fit and well and marching like the Guards, the -horses fat and frisky, and the wagons and the harnesses shining like a -Dress Parade. The Major was away in front with Derry so that I was in -command. I felt sad as I rode round the ranks for the last time and took -my station at the head of the column. Then, turning in my saddle, I gave -the words, and as the lead chains tightened and the pontoons lumbered -slowly forward my sadness changed to pride—for the first time in my life -I was leading 250 magnificent men towards a battle, and I prayed that I -might never let them down. - -Proceeded to Divisional H.Q. Area, where we installed our transport with -the exception of the limbers. The sections then went forward to billets -under the shadow of Kemmel, where we arrived about 7 p.m. Every one very -tired as it has been a broiling day and we are white with dust. Our area -does not seem to have been shelled very much, and the farms and cottages -where the men are billeted are almost intact. We are, however, -completely overlooked from Kemmel Hill and cannot move about in -daylight. The tool-carts were brought up and camouflaged after dark, and -when all was settled and the men had had a meal I went to investigate my -billet. It is a small room 10 feet by 6 feet and, with the exception of -a similar room adjoining it, is the only remaining part of what has once -been a decent cottage. The walls were papered with newspapers printed in -five different languages, and the general filth of the place was beyond -description. Following my usual practice, I put Marjorie’s large -photograph in my map case and hung it on the wall, after which the place -looked a little more cheerful. However, the guns were very active, the -lice were even more so, and not even the comfort of her photograph could -induce me to fall asleep. - -_July 1._ Got up about 11 a.m. and spent the day until 4 p.m. lying in -the sun and listening to the Decca—and the guns! The last of the French -officers left us to-day after marking on our map where two women are to -be found on the Steenvorde road. Thank God we are not like that! About -4.30 p.m. all officers cycled forward to inspect work. Everything is -utterly destroyed, and the once prosperous little town in front of us is -now nothing but a pile of bricks. It requires large parties of men -working all night to keep one road clear for the transport. When one -considers that the town has been utterly wiped out in two months one can -form some conception of the intensity of the German shell-fire. After -struggling through the debris we left our cycles behind a hillock, -entered a trench, and walked round to the front. - -Away on the left we could distinguish the ruins of Ypres shining faintly -in the evening sun, and smoking under a desultory bombardment. Closer to -us was the brick pile and swamp once known as Dickebusch, and in front, -a few hundred yards away, the bulk of Kemmel Hill towered above us. Two -months ago I saw it covered with beautiful woods and peaceful rest -camps; now it is a bare, brown pile of earth, and only a few shattered -tree-stumps in the shell-holes remain to mock the memory of its verdant -beauty. The whole of Kemmel Hill and the valley and the ravines in front -are one solid mass of shell-holes. The earth has been turned and turned -again by shell-fire, and the holes lie so close together that they are -not distinguishable as such. The ground in many places is paved with -shrapnel balls and jagged lumps of steel—in ten square yards you could -pick up several hundredweight. - -There was a magnificent view of all the Bosche forward lines, but of -course he has a much better view of ours and also of our back areas. -They say it is death to move a finger in front of the hill and all our -work will have to be done at night. - -On our way back we came across an old French battery position which had -apparently been defended to the end in the great struggle. The guns were -right in the open and must have caught the full blast of the German -fire, for the limbers were all shattered to pieces and many of them were -turned over into the shell-holes. The gunners were killed to a man round -their pieces, and could have no finer monument than their pile of empty -shell-cases. Their bodies still lay there unburied, mixed up with the -carcasses of the horses with which they had tried to get the guns away -at the last moment—some were headless, limbless, and with their entrails -strewn around them—most had had the clothing blown from their bodies, -and some had been half eaten by the rats. A noble end and yet—how -infinitely better if such true nobility could have served a better -cause—or must we, in despair, admit our civilisation to be a sham and -war the only reality which can show us at our best? If any man had the -power to picture the fearful indescribability of that scene I vow there -would be no war—but it is not to be—the world is so utterly detached -from all this blood and carnage, it doesn’t worry them, and besides, -they must have recreation, “the strain is so terrible, you know.” They -can hardly stand it, poor things—and besides, the air raids—terrible! -Meantime we die—without recreation. “Father, forgive them, for they know -not what they do.” - -_July 2._ Before turning in last night I spent some time over my maps -and have now got a pretty clear idea of the hopelessness of our -position. There are no trenches, but we hold a broken line of outposts -about five hundred yards in front of an old main road which we are -defending. The key of our position is one solitary hill, a small -symmetrical hump not more than 100 feet high and entirely overlooked by -Mont Kemmel, which is ten times higher. And yet the whole line in -Northern France, and perhaps the result of the war, depends on our -holding this little hill. Between it and the coast the country is as -flat as a pancake, and if we lose the hill we lose Calais and the -Belgian ports—so much for the country, now for the men. We have a -division which, with the exception of the few days’ recent rest, has had -about six months of continuous hard fighting. Our front is twice as long -as it should be, we are still below half strength, and most of our -effectives are boys of 18–19 going into the line for the first time. On -the other hand, the Huns hold very superior positions and they are -flushed with victory. Such is our problem; the answer will be written in -blood around the slopes of Kemmel. I forgot to say that there are no -reserves between ourselves and Calais. Let us pray! - -_July 3._ Went forward at 3 a.m. with the Major in the hope of laying -out new trenches for to-night’s work. Unfortunately the mists cleared -away very early and we were not able to do very much. Fritz was -apparently very sleepy and we didn’t get sniped—nevertheless I was jolly -glad to get into a trench again. I cycled back and spent the morning at -the Dump and in looking for material. In the afternoon went forward -again with my sergeant to show him the work, but was not able to do much -as the snipers were very active. Went forward again in the evening—did -another reconnaissance and got a party of about 30 men out on the job by -11 p.m. We were trying to put a belt of wire across the end of a valley -which offers a covered advance to Huns. Progress was very slow owing to -persistent enemy machine-gun fire and horrible condition of the valley -bottom. Fritz had apparently brought a gun forward specially to shoot up -the gully and we had to spend most of the night on our stomachs. In -addition, the transport got lost and we were held up for lack of -material. - -_July 4._ Got back to billets about 5 a.m., having been on my feet -twenty-six hours. Had a few hours’ sleep and went forward again with ten -men, showing them the tracks, etc., so that they will be available as -guides. Went forward again at 8 p.m. and after a terrific struggle got -two pontoons of material behind the hill by 11 p.m. On way up an 8–in. -shell landed between the wagons and knocked out two men whom we left -with R.A.M.C. The horses were terrified, and in trying to hold them -Baker was knocked down by one and badly kicked. I wanted him to go back, -but he insisted in carrying on. There was heavy shell-fire all the way -up and I was damn glad to get them all under cover. Work on the valley -was again very slow, owing to heavy machine-gun fire and lack of -carrying-parties. Jumping down into a shell-hole when the fire was -rather hot I caught on some wire and ripped my leg, and also cut my left -breeches leg right off. When the men had gone back I tried to do some -more taping out before the mists cleared but could hardly drag myself -along and nearly fell asleep in No Man’s Land. - -_July 5._ Got back to billets to find that Derry had gone sick. More -work for the rest of us, and we are nearly tired out now. In the evening -Blacker crocked up and went sick too—pure undiluted funk on his part. -Three officers left now to do the work of ten and the Major will go -soon. He hasn’t been to bed for a week, and must have walked at least -twenty-five miles every day. I had a talk with him and persuaded him to -order the T.O. up from the horse-lines, so that will make four of us. I -have got two Brigades to look after now. - -Forward again about 7 p.m. and nearly completed wire across the valley -in spite of usual machine-gun fire—two men hit in my party. Heavy -shell-fire all night. - -_July 6._ Coming home about 4 a.m. I met the Major alone, and although -nearly finished I went back to help him to lay out a new line. Poor old -Major is nearly done, but he will drop before he gives in. I hope we can -last until some more officers come, but my eyes are jumping and my head -sings like a tornado—how few people must know what it is like to be -really exhausted in the body and yet to have a mind which drives you on. - - “To make your heart and nerve and sinew - Still serve your turn long after they are gone, - And so hold on when there is nothing in you - Except the Will which says to them, ‘Hold on.’” - -I hope we can. - -_July 7._ Beginning to get used to feeling tired and think we can stick -it now. We are all jumpy and are too far gone to talk or read the -paper—the Decca hasn’t been touched for days. Had another cruel night, -and was on the go for twelve hours. Finished wire across the valley and -got well on with digging reserve trenches and wiring reserve line. - -_July 8._ Had three hours’ sleep and went up again at night after a -heavy afternoon’s work. Very heavy thunderstorms all night made it -almost impossible to move about. Was so exhausted with falling into -shell-holes that I started to crawl about on my hands and knees in the -mud—once I almost cried with sheer weakness. On way home I fell off my -bike and was so weak I had to leave it in a shell-hole. Once or twice I -touched my revolver—there is always that. It is a terrible thought, and -even now, half an hour afterwards, I can’t understand it—how much less -can people at home! - -_July 9._ Slept a bit, worked all afternoon, and up again at night. -Heavily shelled on way up but no casualties. Completed first wiring of -left Brigade front and most of their digging. Did an early morning -reconnaissance with Major and Brigade-Major, having been on the go -fifteen hours. - -I think we can keep it up indefinitely now, but where our strength comes -from I don’t know—at least eighteen hours per day. - -_July 10._ Usual sort of day. Had to walk all the way to line and back -as it was impossible to get a bike through the mud. Wretched night, with -pouring rain and howling wind—two poor devils killed. - -_July 11._ Usual day—started clearing New Wood for digging to-morrow -night. Whole area heavily shelled. Could sleep for ever and would dearly -love to die. - -_July 12._ Went up in the afternoon to take over two more jobs—making a -new roof for left Brigade H.Q.’s and tunnelling an underground First-Aid -Post for the Middlesex. Had tea with the Brigadier and then dinner with -the C.O. front line battalion. It is really very amusing the way in -which some of these old-time regulars endeavour to preserve their mess -formalities. The dug-out couldn’t have been more than 12 feet square, -and yet they managed to produce quite a respectable four-course dinner -for seven officers. It was handed on to the table by a perspiring -orderly, who crouched in the entrance to a tunnel which could not have -exceeded 3 ft. by 4 ft. How the food was cooked I could never imagine, -but the smells of cooking leaked out from behind the orderly, and -somewhere in the depths of the blackness behind him there was a voice -that swore, mightily and frequently. I judged that the Voice had -produced the meal and also that it had been a hot job. Most of the soup -got spilt before it left the end of the cavern, but the smell was -excellent and gave us quite an appetite for the tinned salmon which -followed. This had been brought up with ammunition and a bottle of -execrable French vinegar from Division that very afternoon. The next -course was excellent. Roast mutton, procured as the result of dark -dealings with the A.S.C., fresh peas from heavens knows where, and -lastly some sauce made from mint which they said had been growing last -night in No Man’s Land. The sweet was a treacle pudding. We drank thin -whiskies and sodas which were distinctly lukewarm in spite of all the -doctor’s efforts to keep the stuff cool. All things considered, a very -enjoyable meal and a great credit to the Voice. - -Did a hard night’s work and got back, feeling as if I could sleep for -ever, about 5 a.m. - -_July 13._ Was up again about 10 a.m. and inspected explosives before -lunch. Then up the line again to start another mining job—“B” Company, -H.Q. Front Line Battalion. Have now got two big mining jobs in hand and -the Colonel absolutely refuses to send me any timber. He says there is -plenty to be salved. True, O king! but to call it firewood would be -flattery. However, it doesn’t matter—if the whole damn shaft falls in -and kills twenty men there are plenty more in England. Life is much -cheaper than timber! Managed to get home for tea and dinner, but back -out again all night. While talking to one of the working-party officers -a piece of whizz-bang landed between us and another one smashed his -respirator. I am sure some one is going to be killed in the mines—the -earth runs like quicksand, and even with decent frames it would be a -dangerous job. Without, it is sheer suicide, and a shell anywhere near -us on the surface will cave the whole thing in. Fortunately, the men -don’t realise these things, lucky beggars. - -_July 14._ Informed that the Division on our right are doing a raid -to-night, but working parties are to go out as usual! If I were -sentimental I should have to write a last letter home every night—then I -would certainly be killed. - -Started work on a strong point in front of the hill, and shortly -afterwards our barrage started in conjunction with the raid. It was very -fierce, and the S.O.S. lights went up at once over the German lines. We -were watching the pretty colours when their protective barrage came -down, just like a sudden thunderstorm, and I realised to my horror that -we were working dead on their barrage line. Before I saw exactly what -had happened two men were knocked to pieces and the remainder were -running all over the place looking for cover. There were the ruins of a -farm on our left, and I was trying to get the men together into the -holes around this. We got about fifteen into this and several wounded, -and then they shortened range. A salvo came bang on top of us, there was -a great lurid flash and a roar by my feet and I thought I was done for. -I went clean off my feet and was blown several yards, but got up and -found I was untouched but nearly blind and awfully dizzy. I heard some -one calling, and found McDougall. He had been knocked over by the same -shell and was quite blind. We crawled into a hole together and waited to -get our breath. The shells were coming just round us in solid masses so -close that we could feel the earth heaving, and once or twice we were -half buried. I had lost my bearings completely, and McDougall was still -blind and apparently dazed, for he wouldn’t answer when I shouted in his -ear. Then I felt alone and I thought I would go mad—there were rats in -the same hole with us, screaming with terror, and all the time those -blasted shells, crash, crash, crash. I felt I must do something, so I -looked over into the next shell-hole and saw that it was part of an old -trench. I shoved McDougall over and together we flopped down into it and -felt much safer, as it was deeper than the one we had left. Then I -started to crawl along the trench, and to my great delight we found some -of the men. - -For three-quarters of an hour we lay in that ditch with the earth -jumping and falling all round us—at times the whole trench seemed to -move three or four feet. A ration party out on the mule track hadn’t got -such good cover, and we could hear the poor devils moaning and screaming -as some of the others tried to drag them back to the aid post. Some of -the kids in our trench began to cry, and I felt like it myself. We were -all choking, and the valley was so full of smoke and dust that I -couldn’t even see the Verey lights which were less than 300 yards -away—only the great red splashes of fire where the shells burst. - -It seemed to last for hours; the steady crashing of the bursts, the -whine of the flying pieces and all around the screaming of shattered men -who had once been strong. And then the smell which, if a man has known -it once, will haunt him to the end of time, the most sickly nauseating -stench in the world—the combined smell of moist earth, high explosive, -and warm human blood. - -God, in Thy mercy, let me never again hear any one speak of the Glory of -War! - -About 1.30 the noise stopped almost as suddenly as it had begun, but he -put down two more barrages, one at 2 a.m. and one at 2.30. Had an awful -headache when I got to bed. - -_July 15._ McDougall gone down with shell-shock and blindness, but I -managed to turn out, although very sore and stiff—that shell must have -been mighty close, and every one is agreed we should be dead. Dinner -with the Colonel again and promised to repair his dug-out, which got -badly smashed up last night. - -Desultory shelling all night but comparatively quiet—my head feels like -a concertina and if we had more officers I would certainly go to -hospital. However—— - -_July 16._ All my men were sent back to the Reserve line to-day for a -rest, but as we are so short of officers there is no rest for me. In -fact the work is rather more, and I had a very heavy time explaining -things to the new sergeants. - -Machine-gun bullet hit a stump about a yard in front of me and drove a -lot of dirt and splinters into my face. - -I am worn out. - -_July 17._ Was coming home this morning about 5 a.m. very weary, when -Jerry put down still another barrage. There were no trenches handy and I -spent a nasty half-hour in a ditch on the side of the track. When you -have once been strong it is awful to lie in a ditch and quiver like a -jelly when shells are falling fifty yards away. I am going all to pieces -and my imagination is killing me. Last night I was alone inspecting the -wire when for some hellish reason I saw a picture of myself disabled by -a bullet and lying for hours until I bled to death—days it would have -been, for my vitality is tremendous. For several minutes I couldn’t -move, covered with a clammy sweat and paralysed with fear. - -Great wind-up to-day—the Huns are expected to make their last effort for -Calais to-morrow. Every available man working on battle positions, and -all guns fired a counter preparation on German roads. If they _do_ -attack seriously it will be the end of my diary. - -_July 18._ Worked like devils all last night and then spent an awful -hour before dawn, standing to and waiting for the attack. Every time an -odd shell came over we held our breath and waited for the crash of the -general bombardment. The strain was terrific and my stomach felt as if I -had eaten a whole live jelly-fish. The attack didn’t come—24 hours’ -reprieve! - -_July 19._ Another day of feverish activity, work, and strain. I have -been thinking of Piccadilly Circus and wonder if they realise how very -near they are to the end. Reconnoitred an old farm with a view to -erecting a Brigade H.Q. there in event of retreat to Reserve Line. Why, -Heaven knows, as if they _do_ attack there will be no one to -retreat—except, of course, the Brigade H.Q. with their trouser-presses, -etc. Derry came back to us and is going to take over this work. - -Did very well in the line at night, and completed wire to Right Brigade -in spite of heavy shell-fire. - -_July 20._ Words fail me—a new officer has arrived and I am going to -have a rest, at least a comparative one, on the Reserve Line. - -After starting the parties I spent the night advising the P.B.I. on -trench drainage and got soaked up to the waist. Got three hours’ sleep -in my soaking clothes as German attack is still expected. I wish it -would come—the strain of waiting is terrible. - -_July 21._ Life is getting quite enjoyable again. Spent the night -handing over to new officer. The company has received four more Lewis -guns which, I think, shows better than any words how well we did in the -retreat. - -_July 22._ Filthy wet day, spent in taking over Reserve Line from T.O., -who returns to Horse-Lines. The threat of attack still hangs over us in -a state of suspended animation. - -_July 23._ Poured all day; soaked and fed up. - -_July 24._ Day goes on leave, so I took over his work in the line, -chiefly concrete pill-boxes. Thus ends my rest. Blessed is he that -expecteth nothing, for he shall not be disappointed. Did a good night’s -work under a beautiful moon and met the Major in the morning before dawn -to reconnoitre some wire. - -_July 25._ Derry went sick again, so we are now as badly off as ever. -Doing four men’s work and had a very rushed day. Why the _devil_ don’t -they send us reinforcements? - -_July 26._ Four hours’ sleep and off up the line again—the first -Americans came within a few miles of the line to-day. I think we have -just about weathered the storm without them. - -_July 27._ Four hours’ sleep, then spent the morning on Brigade H.Q., -afternoon on the Reserve Line, paid the company, and spent all night on -wiring and completion of No. 1 Pill-box. - -_July 28._ Our sister company went over last night to destroy wire for a -raid. They collared two Huns, so that the real raid never came off and -was unnecessary. Good work. - -_July 29._ Completed No. 2 Pill-box. Work well on with Brigade H.Q. and -put up 300 yards of wire at Reserve Line. Two of our drivers and three -of the best horses were killed last night. It is difficult to make -comparisons where all men are so wonderful, but as an example of the -purest form of stolid courage I think the limber driver is unique. In a -place like this there is never more than one decent road, and in -consequence it is packed from dusk to dawn with every conceivable form -of wheeled transport. Food, water, ammunition, guns, wire, and -everything else which the linesman needs, must pass along this solitary -lane, and the German knows it. The shell-fire is seldom heavy, as the -line knows it, but it is persistent, wearing, and of the most deadly -accuracy. A very favourite trick is to shell some point on the road and -thus compel traffic to wait. In five minutes they know that there will -be a solid column of wagons on the far side of the block, and then they -lengthen range—preferably with shrapnel. Then it is like all hell let -loose. Half a dozen shells among those crowded limbers can do the most -terrific damage, and men and horses go down together in a welter of -blood and flying red-hot steel. Mules and horses go mad, and scream and -kick, the harness breaks, they climb into the limbers, ammunition -explodes, and in a few seconds there is nothing but a mass of wreckage -in the ditch and the cries of wounded men and dying horses. - -Go through that and worse twice a night, every night for a month and -more, and at the end when you take the reins in the evening your hand -will quiver and your feet will tremble in the stirrups. And still they -go without a murmur, night after night, until a merciful shell shall -take them too, and they leave the saddle for ever. Each night they see -the last night’s wreckage, and, if times are very bad, the unburied -bodies of their one-time pals grinning at the stars until Time and the -rats have done their work. And always they know their time will come, so -that to me at least it is an eternal marvel how they find the strength -to go. Perhaps some thought of home, some pride of England drives them -on, or the memory of some dearly loved, dead officer sitting quietly on -a mule among those shrieking shells and telling them not to leave their -horses. But who can tell?—they do it, and England gains! - -One thing is certain, they get no medals, for there are no Staff -Officers along these howling roads at night. - -_July 30._ For the first time since we have been here our billets were -heavily shelled this afternoon. I had great wind-up, as I was upstairs -in my canvas bath and two or three splinters came through the wall. -There are some Americans near us, and as this was their first touch of -shell-fire it was quite amusing to see them falling over each other in -their efforts to get away across the fields. Beryl, our terrier bitch, -presented us with seven puppies of every breed and colour—the little -harlot! - -The Americans had their first night in charge of an infantry working -party and I went up to their line to have a look at them. It was a -pathetic sight, and when they came back in the morning they reported -being shelled off the job and that half the men’s clothes were cut to -pieces by shrapnel. Combination of wind-up, imagination, and loose -barbed wire on a dark night. - -_July 31._ Put up 500 yards of wire at Reserve Line. Second party of -Americans arrived. Bosche plane came over very low in the evening and -spotted our billets and the guns round us. He got away through terrific -machine-gun fire, but we heard later that he came down over the lines in -flames—poor beggars! - -_Aug. 1._ Billets shelled again, and thought we were hit several times. -Another daring Bosche came over in the evening but was brought down over -the lines. Our sister company pulled out of the line to prepare for an -attack, so again we are doing a two-Brigade front. - -_Aug. 2._ Got soaked to the skin scrambling round Right Brigade trenches -and was quite worn out as I had to wear my respirator, all the -time—ghastly night, with continuous shell-fire and casualties all over -the place. - -_Aug. 3._ Had great difficulty in getting material, as they shelled our -dump all night long. It is very hard to order men to go to a place when -you know that it is being steadily shelled, and yet the work has to be -done. So much easier for the Staff, who just say, “Do it,” and then -leave the details and the casualties to me. At 3.30 a.m. met the Major -and took him round the line to see our troubles. Coming back alone—— - -_Aug. 4._ ——over the ridge just before dawn I got dead in line with a -German M.G. firing straight down the road. I don’t think it was clear -enough for them to see me, but the bullets whizzed past first on my left -side and then on my right. I had to lie down for several minutes and -watch them kicking up sparks on the road a few yards ahead—most -unpleasant, and I found it another indication that my nerves are slowly -giving out. - -_Aug. 5._ Heavy barrage in reply to a raid by the Division on our right -interfered with work and caused several casualties among the carrying -parties. - -_Aug. 6._ The men had a night’s rest, but I was out all night with two -sappers laying out tapes and notice boards in preparation for the attack -on the 8th. Several times we had to go well out into No Man’s Land, and -once I was quite lost for about half an hour. - -_Aug. 7._ Was out all night trying to get some work out of the -Americans, but found it a hard job as they are not yet accustomed to -working under shell and machine-gun fire, and are very nervous. Among -our own men I would have considered their behaviour rank mutiny, but I -kept them at it until 3 a.m. and got 150 yards done. Have never been so -unpopular or so violently cursed in my life before. - -In the course of the wire we came across a shell-hole with a mule and -three rotting Frenchmen in it, and the Americans were very worried that -they had not been buried! - -Poor devils, they have a lot to learn. - - - THE MERRYWAY ATTACK - -The events that follow are necessarily somewhat confused, both from -their own nature and from the fact that I was not able to set them down -until some ten days after they occurred. They fell out somewhat as -follows:— - -The Merryway had once been a decent road, but after the fighting in June -there was little left but a shattered track running at right angles to -the main lines of trenches. The Huns had pushed out a very considerable -salient on both sides of this track, and as their ground was rather -higher than ours they were able to make life very unpleasant for every -one around them. - -With the threat of more German attacks still hanging over us and the men -quite worn out, the Staff decided that we must keep up our morale by -trying to lower that of the Huns. An attack on the Merryway Salient was -decided upon as the best way of doing this. - -Accordingly one Infantry Brigade and one Field Coy. R.E. went over on -the night of August 8th, and under cover of a terrific bombardment -surprised the Germans and gained practically all their objectives. All -was quiet for two days, the Field Coy. put up quantities of barbed wire -and the Staff went to sleep to dream of medals. - -The morning of the 11th was cold and misty, and to our great -consternation the Huns delivered a very heavy counter-attack. This was -quite successful, and we were all driven back with the exception of one -post which held out on the Merryway. Here about 30 Huns got held up -against our wire and all surrendered, although most of the men wanted to -shoot, because we were too weak to find an escort. However we sent them -back with two men, but seeing that our flanks were gone and how weak the -escort was, they strangled the two men and joined the fight. Everything -was now completely mixed up, the gray-coated figures were all around, -and odd groups of men were fighting detached battles for their own skins -against heavy odds. Our telephone wire was cut, and rockets were useless -because of the mist; the casualties were heavy, and it looked as if the -line would go. Then I saw Bradley, a fearsome sight, with a piece of his -scalp hanging over his ear and his face covered with blood, trying to -collect some men. I joined him, and we got a few together and went -forward again. In technical language I suppose we led a charge or -counter-attack, but it never struck me in that way at all, and I’m sure -we had no clear idea what we intended to do. - -Bradley was mad, and we went at the first group of Huns we saw. There -was a tussle, we killed two and the rest surrendered. Bradley collared -one of these himself, a poor miserable kid not more than twenty, and I -remember the sight of him put heart into us all. - -In all we got forward about two hundred yards and got in touch with the -Merryway post, although, of course, we were still a long way behind our -original line. - -This restored the line a little, and instead of pushing through the gaps -on either side of us the Huns hesitated a little and finally dug in -about 50 yards away. All the infantry officers were killed and every one -was out of touch, so that the Huns were not followed up. During the day -reliefs came up, and at night Brigade reported that we held a line of -posts in touch with one another about half-way between our first and -second positions. - -I went up with a few men and some material to try to consolidate the -position, but when I got to Merryway post everything was in absolute -chaos and there was only a sergeant and six men in the post and -absolutely at their last gasp. Apparently they had been attacked again -during the day, and had only just kept off the Huns after suffering -heavy casualties from trench mortars. It was obvious the Huns thought a -lot of this post, and I felt sure they would try to take us during the -night. I put all my men on and tried to strengthen the place with -sandbags, and made it a little deeper by lifting some bodies out of the -bottom. I had 19 men with 150 rounds each and 1 Lewis gun with several -thousand rounds—this I placed at the end of the trench to fire up the -track. - -About 11.30 we were shelled heavily without sustaining casualties, and -immediately afterwards a crowd of infantry—about 100 I think—made a dash -at us, chiefly down the old track. The Lewis gun opened at once, and I -was terrified to find that the Huns had a gun on our flank which was -shooting straight at our gun and right into the trench. The gunner was -killed at once and Cox wounded, so that the gun was silent. Then the -infantry sergeant took it and was shot dead immediately. I shouted to -the men to keep shooting at the infantry in front and I took the Lewis -gun myself and turned it round at the German gun. I waited for him to -shoot, and then fired at the flash and silenced him. I noticed that the -men’s firing had died down, and on looking to the front I was relieved -to see that the first attack was beaten off—we must have killed a lot, -as they were right against the skyline—and there were a lot of them -moaning about in front. I felt certain we could hold them if we could -keep their gun quiet, so for the next twenty minutes we worked like -fiends to raise some protection across the open end of the trench. Then -they came again in a sudden rush, but I must have damaged their gun, and -without that to help them we could turn our gun right into them and -easily held them off. A small party sneaked close up to us on the left -away from the gun and threw some bombs right into us, blowing an -infantryman to bits and wounding a sapper. Then they shelled us steadily -for half an hour and got one of the look-out men in the shoulder—another -rifle useless. At this point we had our one piece of luck—found a rum -jar with just enough in it to give each man a mouthful—it put new heart -into us and helped us more than twenty reinforcements. Everything went -quiet for a time, and in thinking things over I had an awful job to keep -myself under control. The men were wonderful, but there were only 13 of -us left and fully 200 Huns all round. During the lull Cox died in my -arms—he was very game, but just before the end he sobbed like a child: -“My wife and kiddie, oh God! sir, what’s going to happen to them?—poor -kid, poor kid.” And so he died. - -Shortly afterwards they came at us again, and thank God none of us -realised how many there were. On the right where the gun was we held -them off again, but we were hopelessly outnumbered, and a German officer -and a small party actually got into our trench at the other end. I heard -the row and, leaving the gun with Willis, was just in time to see a man -kill the officer with his bayonet and the others cleared off again. They -were very close all round us now, and as we could see nothing I told the -men to keep their ammunition and then split them up, some to shoot -forward and some to shoot back. I was frightened that we should be -bombed, and surely enough they started, but the throwing was rotten. - -And then once more they tried us. A bomb came right in the trench and -laid out two more men, splashing me with blood. We shot like fiends and -the gun was nearly red-hot, but they were too many. About eight men got -into the trench and then we all went mad. It would be impossible for me -to give an accurate description because there was just one fierce wild -tussle, they trying to get at Willis and that blessed gun and we trying -to keep them off. We were too mixed to shoot; they used a sort of -life-preserver and we used our bayonets taken off the rifles. A German -about my own size slipped into the trench behind me and I just turned in -time to duck under a swing from his preserver. What I was doing I shall -never know, but by instinct I got my left hand on his throat, and before -I knew what had happened I had got the bayonet dagger-wise a good six -inches into his chest. He went down without a groan. There was no one in -front of me and I turned to find a big Hun with his back to me and a -life-preserver raised to hit McDonald, who had his back to the Hun, over -the head. If I had had sense I would have stuck the bayonet into his -back, but I was absolutely wild and dropped it. Before the Hun could -strike I got my hands on his throat and we fell down together. I fell -underneath but got on top and pressed until I thought my fingers would -break. He was terribly strong and once scratched a great piece out of my -left cheek. Gradually he weakened, and I kept my fingers on his throat -until he died. - -Much the same thing had happened to all the other men except one, who -got badly mauled about the head and died shortly afterwards. For a -moment I felt we could fight the whole German army, especially when I -saw McDonald smash in a German head with the rum jar. Now the survivors -were shouting for help, but that blessed Willis (ex jail-bird) was -sitting with the gun out in the open, regardless of everything, swearing -like hell, and none of the Huns seemed anxious to accept the invitation. -We were all clean crazy, and I even had a job to keep the men in the -trench. McDonald said something about Cox’s missus, and wanted to kill -ten of the “bloody bastards.” - -During the whole of that bloody night my hardest job was to restrain the -men in that moment of semi-victory; for it was still two hours until -dawn. Nine out of the nineteen of us were either dead or dying, and all -the rest of us were damaged in some way. Throughout the whole night I -had never thought of anything but death. Relief, I knew, was -impossible—if we surrendered they would kill us, and I never dreamed -that we could really hold them off till dawn. Writing now, it would be -easy to imagine impressions which I never really experienced, but I can -safely say that throughout the whole night I calmly regarded myself as a -dead man. It seemed quite natural that I should be, and I can’t remember -that I had the slightest regret. It even seems now that in some queer -way I was distinctly happier and more tranquil than I had ever been in -my life before. I felt nobler, mightier, than any human being on earth, -and death seemed welcome as the only fitting end. Recalling some of my -previous entries on the subject of war, I cannot understand my feelings -on this occasion and can only repeat that it was so—perhaps something of - - “The stern joy which warriors feel - In foemen worthy of their steel.” - -It was therefore almost with a feeling of annoyance, of having been -cheated of something, that I saw the first streaks of gray beyond -Kemmel. I thought they would still make a last effort and waited, but we -shivered in vain. In the semi-light we managed to get an odd shot at -some of them who had been behind us as they went round to the front—we -shot two or three more this way. Then I left my sergeant in charge and -went back for a crawl to see what I could find. It was almost light now, -and after about half an hour I came across a picket. They firmly -believed we were all dead, and said so, and once more that odd feeling -of annoyance returned. I remembered that during the night I had -visualised the Brigade report on the whole business: “Their Lewis gun -was heard firing until early in the morning but it was impossible to -reach them.” - -However, I went back, left some fresh men in the post and brought my -fellows out, leaving orders for the dead to be brought down during the -day if possible. As we went back past Brigade I dropped in to report. -The General had apparently been up all night and looked very worried. He -insisted on seeing the men. They were lying in the mud outside, bleeding -and swearing—an awful but a sublime picture. He was deeply moved, and -several times under his breath I heard him say, “Marvellous, marvellous, -wonderful.” Afterwards, I was told that there were tears in his eyes -when he went back into the dug-out. He has had an awful time, poor -beggar. - -_Aug. 12._ Had my face dressed and slept like a baby during the day. At -night Brigade reported once more that we held a line of connected posts, -and again we went out to try to strengthen them. My party started to -wire the Merryway post and barricade the road, and Day went forward with -a party on the right. When he got forward to where our wire should have -been he found a German party well dug-in—fully 100 yards more forward -than they were expected to be. They turned a gun on Day’s party and -threw about a dozen bombs at them but he got all his fellows back with -only two casualties, and these were brought in later. On my side the -covering party were so nervous as to be absolutely useless, so I sent -them back, and after that my own revolver was the only cover which the -men had. - -I was crawling about some 50 yards in front of the party when a light -went up and I spotted three Huns crouching in a shell-hole with a -machine-gun. I had no bombs, so I went back and told the infantry -officer, but he wouldn’t do anything. We ceased work about 25 yards away -from them. - -We found the mutilated body of an infantry officer who was killed on the -11th and brought it in. - -On calling at H.Q. on the way back we were informed, as we now knew to -our cost, that our posts were all much farther back than was at first -thought, and in some places the Huns were even on the near side of our -wire. But for our great good luck in getting bombed we should probably -have gone out and wired between the German outposts and their main line. - -I have seldom known the line to be in a more chaotic state, and I think -one more attack would just about put us beyond the count. Every one is -nervous, and no one knows where anybody else is. - -_Aug. 13._ Went out after dusk with an infantry subaltern to try to get -in touch with a post reported to be on the left of the Merryway post. We -groped about without success and eventually saw about 20 figures moving -about in one of the camps behind us. They were not more than 30 yards -away, so we took them for men from the post we were in search of and did -not challenge. Presently they began to move away down the hedge towards -the German lines, and my companion remarked that they were going a long -way forward, as a German post was known to exist at the corner. Almost -immediately afterwards they began to run and disappeared into a trench -about 50 yards away. Soon after this we found our own post, and they -reported having no men out and having seen no one! There was only one -possible conclusion—we had been in close touch with a strong German -patrol which had been moving about with the greatest audacity at least -50 yards behind our lines. Very unpleasant to think about. - -Then we took a few of the better men and went out on a hunt, but found -nothing. It was impossible to wire because of very frequent lights and -heavy machine-gun fire. On the right of the track we could find neither -Huns nor our own people, and it appears that Brigade H.Q. don’t really -know anything about the situation at all. It _is_ in a mess. About 3 -a.m. the Huns put down a heavy barrage but didn’t come over. - -_Aug. 14._ Had a night in bed—the third in six weeks. Heard that my -infantry friend was killed, just after I left, by our own shrapnel -bursting short. - -Hear also that I have been recommended for a D.S.O. for the scrap the -other night. This is the second time, and it is now some comfort to be -definitely sure that they will never give it me. - -I would like to get something just for my father’s sake, but for -myself—I should almost hate it. - -We are here to do a job, not to earn medals for the sake of being gushed -over by silly, simpering women who could never understand. - -It is a hard creed and difficult to stand by at times—vanity is very -strong. - -The following shows roughly some of the main points in the Merryway -fighting. - -_Aug. 15._ Started to wire from the barricade towards the right in order -to join up with Day, who was working from the other end. Got to our -first post but could get no farther, as there was a strong German post -across our line. Day bumped into this from the other side, and was -driven off with two casualties. I was lying down listening when the Huns -fired into Day and was surprised to find I was not ten yards away from -them. They sent up a light, and I could see about ten of them as plainly -as daylight, all looking along their rifles. I dropped a bomb into them -and departed, but if we had known they were there we could have collared -the whole lot. - -_Aug. 16._ Was relieved at Merryway and spent the night wiring in the -right sector—quite a rest cure. - -_Aug. 17._ Wiring again in front of County Camp. Shelled off the job -three times and had two casualties, so decided to work the wood -instead—shelled again. - -_Aug. 18._ Quiet night in the wood. Slowly and surely I am breaking up, -and now I am so far gone that it is too much trouble to go sick. I am -just carrying on like an automaton, mechanically putting up wire and -digging ditches while I wait, wait, wait for something to happen—relief, -death, wounds, anything, anything in earth or hell to put an end to -this, but preferably death. I am becoming hypnotised with the idea of -Nirvana—sweet, eternal nothingness. My body crawls with lice, my rags -are saturated with blood, and we all “stink like the essence of -putrefaction rotting for the third time.” - -And there are ladies at home who still call us heroes and talk of the -Glory of War—Christ! - -[Illustration: Collins’ Geographical Establishment, Glasgow.] - - “If the lice were in their hair, - And the scabs were on their tongue, - And the rats were smiling there - Padding softly through the dung. - Would they still adjust their pince-nez - In the same old urbane way - In the gallery where the ladies go?” - -Last night something went wrong in my head. A machine-gun was turned on -us, and instead of ducking I remember standing up and being quite -interested in watching the bullets kick sparks off the wire—Day pulled -me down into a hole and has been watching me ever since. - -If ever again I hear any one say anything against a man for -incapacitating himself in any way to get out of this I will kill that -man. Not even Almighty God can understand the effort required to force -oneself back into the trenches at night—I would shoot myself if it were -not for the thought of my father—O God! why won’t you kill me? - - “To these from birth is Belief forbidden. - From these till Death is Relief afar.” - -And the pity of it all is this—that nobody will ever understand! It is -hell to be able to see these things, but in two years I know it will all -be forgotten. “It is over,” they will say, “we must forget it, it was so -terrible.” The world will go back into the old grooves, without honour, -without heroism, without ideals, and these dear, darling fellows of mine -will be “factory men” once more. - -Even now Hardy’s sister is selling matches in Ancoats, and my sister -would refer to her as “that woman”—yet Hardy and I have saved each -other’s lives. And if I live they will say “Poor old beggar, he isn’t -much use now, he had rather a bad time in the war,” and they will pity -me—once a month when I am ill. Or, worst of all, if my vitality should -come back to a certain extent I will appear quite normal and they will -call me a slacker if I don’t take part in games—I, who once captained -one of the best Rugby teams in the north! Perhaps they will even be so -good as to make allowances for me! - -And they will call me dull and morose and cynical—and even priggish when -I keep myself aloof from them. - -And the ladies for whom I gave my strength and more will leave me for -the healthy, bouncing beggars who stayed at home—even as nationally the -Neutrals get the good things now. And there are thousands worse than -I—may we all die together in one final bloody holocaust and before the -Peace Bells usher in the realisation of our fears. - -And then, on howling winter evenings, our spirits might ride the -cloud-wrack over these blood-soaked hills, shrieking and moaning with -the wind, to drown the music of their dancing, so that they huddle -together in terror, the empty-headed women and the weak-kneed, worn-out -men as we laugh at their petty, soulless lives. - -Within a week I shall be dead or mad. - -_Aug. 19._ Very hot to-day—feeling feverish and weak—what futile words! - -_Aug. 20._ Division on our right attacked and captured objectives. Three -lines in the _Daily Mail_ to-morrow—three hundred corpses grinning at -the stars to-night—in three years oblivion—War! - -_Aug. 21._ Working on Ferret Farm. On way up Fritz got six shells bang -into the middle of the parties in the sunken road—one sapper and several -P.B.I. hit and Day badly damaged in the face with a stone. - -The limber horses behaved wonderfully, and one team didn’t move an inch -although a shell burst right under their tail board. Very lucky not to -have had lots more casualties. On the track we were shelled again and -had to pass through heavy gas in the region of the stream. Almost -immediately after starting work Bosche put down a heavy barrage and we -lay on our faces for three-quarters of an hour. Heavy shelling continued -all night with a lot of machine-gun fire and gas. Was busy with -casualties all night and feel like a corpse myself now. - -_Aug. 22._ Beastly hot day and was tortured to death in the evening by -mosquitoes—during this warm weather one usually knocks about in the -day-time in one’s shirt which becomes saturated with sweat, and then -dries off again in the cool of the evening—the mosquitoes love the stink -and after dusk they feed on us in millions—there is no respite, you grow -tired of killing them and dawn finds you on the edge of insanity, -swollen like a long-dead mule. It is these things which constitute the -horror of war—death is nothing. - -Wrote a cheerful letter home saying that I am very well and happy. - -_Aug. 23._ Was riding up last night through a strafe with Day when a gas -shell exploded just in front of our bicycles—we jumped off at once but -before we could get our bags on we swallowed rather a large dose—didn’t -worry very much and carried on with the night’s work. - -_Aug. 24._ In the morning bust up completely and spent the day in -bed—pulled myself together and managed to get up the line again at -night. - -_Aug. 25._ Riding home this morning we encountered a sudden whizz-bang -strafe on the road, and Day took a small fragment clean through his -handle-bars—rained hard all night and practically stopped work. - -_Aug. 26._ Still raining heavily, and we notice the first signs of the -return of the mud era—surely they _must_ relieve us now if there is a -man to spare in France or England—otherwise, I am afraid a week of heavy -rain would clear the road to Calais. For myself, I am too far gone to -pick the lice out of my shirt—I have ceased to be a man—even my simian -ancestors used to remove their parasites. - -_Aug. 27._ Still raining hard, but news comes through that we are going -to be relieved—as I am the only officer that really knows the forward -work I am to stay and hand over—only three more nights! - -_Aug. 28._ Very busy day handing over all rear work to relieving -company—the attached infantry parties returned to their units to-day. - -_Aug. 29._ Company transport left at 10 a.m. for Rest Area—the Sappers -marched off at 1.30 p.m. To-night is to be my last night in the line, I -hope, for a fortnight at least. - -_Aug. 30._ Oddly enough, my last night was one of the most eventful -spent in the sector. It was a misty night, and I was crawling about with -the relieving officer to show him Day’s front line Coy. H.Q., when we -were shelled fairly heavily—to avoid the disturbance I made a detour of -about 100 yards and got completely lost. Eventually we heard muffled -voices behind us, and to my surprise, when I crawled back to -investigate, I found a Hun machine-gun post with about six men in it. - -We avoided this and eventually struck our own line about a quarter of a -mile out of our course—they handled us rather roughly in the trench as -they believed us to be Bosche, particularly as my friend knew nothing -about the line. After sitting for twenty minutes with two bayonets in my -ribs, Miller of the Fusiliers came up and fortunately he knew me. Just -managed to complete handing over before dawn and got back for breakfast -with our reliefs. Left billets on horseback with Dausay as groom at -11.45. Passed through reserve billets and had an afternoon halt to water -the horses in a charming meadow just beyond Cassel. We reached the -company about 6 p.m. at a small village outside St. Omer—a very pleasant -but a tiring ride. - -Day and I are living in a large white château—steeped in romance from -its turrets to its, no doubt, well-stocked cellars. Outside my bedroom -window there is a balcony where I can sit in the evenings and watch the -sun set beyond St. Omer—if only I had my books I might recapture myself -in a fortnight here. - -_Sept. 1._ Quiet day, with the usual inspections and cleaning parades. -In the evening Major and I rode over to take dinner with the -C.R.E.—information had just come through that our outposts are on the -top of Kemmel Hill. Apparently the Huns have retreated, but it makes me -damn wild to think that we should hold that blood-soaked line and wear -down his resistance for other people to follow him up—I would have sold -my soul to see the old Division go over Kemmel, and if any one had the -right it was we. - -_Sept. 2._ Went into St. Omer with Day and had tea at the club—succeeded -in obtaining some butter at 15 francs per kilo—verily the French are a -hospitable people! Returned to the mess to find the rumour about Kemmel -is confirmed—apparently the Bosche are evacuating forward positions with -a view to consolidating their line for the winter. This is all very -cheerful and no doubt makes good reading in the clubs at home, but -unfortunately it necessitates our return to the line to-morrow—our rest -has therefore been a deal of extra trouble for nothing—two days out of -the line do one more harm than good. Transport and pontoons started on -their return journey to-night. - -_Sept. 3._ Entrained at 8.15 a.m. and detrained at rail-head about 12 -noon. Marched forward past our old billets and eventually took over very -comfortable billets from a company of American Engineers. The line seems -to have gone far forward, all the old gun positions are empty and the -sausages are well in front of us now. - -After all, I think that the ability to park our transport in the open in -full view of Kemmel will do us more good than the “rest” could ever have -done. The shadow of that ghastly hill has been over us for so long that -our relief at having regained it is out of all proportion to its -practical value. The effect on the men has been little short of -miraculous, and already they are joking about the possibilities of -Christmas at home—or at the worst in Berlin! Once more we look forward -to the possibilities of a semi-victory, and the dog-like fatalism which -upheld us through the weary summer is gradually changing to something -like Hope and Confidence in the Future. - -But we can never again go forward with the same fiery ardour and -implicit faith in the Justice of our Cause, which drove us onwards in -the early days. We have seen brave Germans die with faith as great as -ours, and, knowing their intelligence to be not less, we must at least -doubt the validity of our first conclusions. Now we are infinitely wiser -men, growing sadder as the cold light of reason destroys our early -phantoms of enthusiasm. Already “the bones about the way” are far too -numerous to justify the best of possible results and—there will be more -before the end. - -But these reflections are morbid and unbecoming in a soldier—to-morrow I -must inspect rifles with enthusiasm. - -_Sept. 4._ Day and I working all day on our dug-out and in making a -place where we can have a bath—I shudder when I try to recall my last -one. - -_Sept. 5._ Up at 2 a.m. and working until 10 with the whole company -endeavouring to construct a road across a semi-dry lake. It is obviously -a staff project and would have been condemned by a first year -civil-engineering student—we cast our brick upon the waters in the vain -hope that it will return after many days. - -Meanwhile the advance creeps forward across the swamps in front and -shows signs of being bogged as the resistance stiffens. - -Yesterday our two line brigades had 500 casualties, and after gaining -the summit of Messines Ridge they had to fall back owing to lack of -support. Thus it seems that we shall play the German game once more by -following them into the worst of the mud for the winter—God help us if -we do, the 19–year olds would die like flies in a hard winter. - -Had my bath and feel like a new man. - -_Sept. 6._ Dumped a few more tons of brick into the lake—at least it is -a peaceful job and keeps the men out of mischief. Played Badminton and -wrote letters—the war seems to have fallen into abeyance. - -_Sept. 7._ Heavy gas-shelling on the lake this morning robbed us of our -constitutional and forced an early return. - -After dinner we turned out with torches and heavy sticks to hunt rats -round the dug-outs. There were no casualties among the rats, but Day -sprained an ankle. - -_Sept. 8._ Still brick dumping, although no progress is apparent as yet. -During the morning I walked across the dyke to talk to the company -working in the morass on the far side and sincerely wished I hadn’t. -They had been finding bodies all morning, not more than a month dead and -just coming to the worst stages. Whilst I was there, they picked up two -kilted officers—glorious big men they must have been but looking so -childishly pathetic as they lay there. Unconsciously we all fell silent, -and I saw a D.C.M. Sergeant-Major with tears in his eyes. Hurriedly I -turned away and, walking back to the men, thanked God that people at -home can never even imagine the deaths their men are called upon to die. - -We are going into the war again to-morrow. The rains are with us. - -_Sept. 9._ Two sections moved into forward billets at Negro Farm—an -appalling place consisting of two stinking dug-outs under the ruins of -the former homestead—it beggars description but closely resembles that -famous Bairnsfather drawing, “We are staying at a farm.” It has poured -all day, and when we arrived about eleven this morning there wasn’t -shelter for a quarter of the men and none for the horses. I explored two -or three ruins in the neighbourhood, but they were all worse than our -own midden, so we had to make the best of it. Fortunately the -cheerfulness of the men seems to increase with their misfortunes and -they are now all under cover of some sort—even the horses are more or -less protected from the worst of the weather. - -My home consists of three battered sheets of corrugated iron, a wagon -cover, and the back of a hen shed, reared miraculously against a bank of -earth which is the mainstay of the edifice. Light from a candle in a -port bottle, no H. and C. or modern conveniences of any sort. It is -cold, damp, miserable, and the headquarters of two sections, Royal -Engineers. Yet you wouldn’t offer it to a tramp at home and a pig would -scorn it—great are the blessings of civilisation! - -I decided to keep one section in reserve, so took No. 3 up the line for -night work. - -[Illustration: SKETCH MAP SHOWING ADVANCE FROM COURTRAI TO SCHELDT] - -Arrived very late as all the tracks were knee-deep in slush and it was -dark, dark as the inside of an infidel. - -We floundered around for several hours, but it was quite impossible to -do anything in the nature of serious work—the line was new to us, and -the difficulty of finding the posts was increased by persistent -machine-gun fire and the most devilish weather imaginable. The ground -was in an awful state, and it often took us twenty minutes to move a -hundred yards—the men swore sublimely and their humour was the only -dryness in the night. - -On the return journey we struck some unpleasant shell-fire, and mud -wallowed with enthusiasm. Browning anticipated the Great War when he -wrote— - - “Will sprawl— - Flat on his belly in the pit’s much mire, - With elbows wide, fists clenched to prop his chin, - And, while he kicks both feet in the cool slush, - And feels about his spine small eft-things course, - Run in and out each arm, and make him laugh.” - -Twice we got lost in the woods and finally I had to give up all hope of -finding the lake track. We returned the long way, but even so the tracks -were knee-deep and I could feel the water trickling in over the tops of -my field boots. Sometimes it would be such a relief if only one could -cry! - -The men had a drop of rum when we got back, and it was about 4 a.m. when -I crawled into my flea bag. A family of beetles played, “Come and sit on -my chair” across my toes, and an old brown rat wanted to keep me -company. I turned him out three times, but the poor devil was so -persistent and so pathetic that finally I let him stop. Immediately I -fell asleep he came and stroked my hair in gratitude and I, -misunderstanding his intentions, turned him out for good and all. But -have you ever tried to sleep in your soaking wet clothes, with your head -two feet under a sheet of corrugated iron on which it is raining hard? I -tried, but the rain and the beetles were against me. I got up, and the -morning and the evening were the first day. - -_Sept. 10._ Still raining; and we spent another awful night in the -outpost line. Our own 18–pounders were shooting so short that some of -the shells were actually falling behind us and once we had to lie on the -Bosche side of the parapet to get cover from them. The weather is our -most dangerous foe now, and all wiring etc. is stopped until we can make -some sort of protection for the line troops. They are going down like -flies, there isn’t a dug-out worth the name in the whole sector, and the -water, already a foot deep in the best posts, is increasing hourly. - -_Sept. 11._ Another terrible night—it is still raining and we have been -soaked through now for four days and nights. Most of the companies are -down to half strength and trench-foot is very prevalent—it is as much as -most of the men can do to carry two sheets of iron per night for their -own protection. Our own billets are flooded now and we are knee-deep in -mud everywhere—the horses feel it more than we do and I have had to send -them back. - -We had to shift their position every three or four hours to prevent them -sinking, and it has been so bitterly cold—there is no protection from -this biting wind as it howls and shrieks across the swamps and mud -fields. - -But one thinks of the line, for it is always the line, poor devils, who -get it worst—they could tell Dante many things. - -There are men up there who have not been under a shelter of any -description during a week of almost continuous rain—they have forgotten -what it is to feel dry, and their minds are dull and stupid with the -cold and misery of it all—they have slept fitfully, wakening under the -necessity of shifting their position to avoid the mud or when an -unusually fierce downpour has stung their faces—and during the whole of -this time no warm food or drink has passed their lips. Small wonder that -they die—with gratitude. - -_Sept. 12._ It is two feet deep on our best main road, and we had a wild -fight last night to get the necessary material up for the shelters—an -unlucky shell killed two men, wounded three, and knocked out two mules. -In spite of this we did a good night’s work and erected fourteen -shelters. The men seem to realise how much depends on them, and I have -seldom seen them work so well. - -_Sept. 13._ Heavy shelling on roads and tracks disorganised all parties -and interfered with work. I was hit in the middle of the back with a -large fragment which bruised me badly. - -If I stumbled and fell once last night I fell twenty times—we use -three-quarters of our strength in fighting through the mud and the -remaining quarter in actual work. We were so tired last night that I -tried the short way back again through the woods. Once we stumbled on a -colony of rats, feeding on the sodden corpse of a Frenchman. I shuddered -involuntarily as they scattered away, screaming, and then turned to -watch us with beady, malevolent eyes. The last time I was home on leave -I remember my mother asked me why the trench rats were so big. I nearly -told her, but then it occurred to me that I might be “missing” myself -and the thought would have driven her mad—so I said it was because of -the food we used to throw over the top. God help the mothers who really -know these things. - -Derry crocked up again yesterday and went to hospital. - -_Sept. 14._ It is still raining and we are still mud-slinging—would that -I had the time to describe it all. - -My back was very sore to-day and I could hardly raise my right arm on -account of the smack I received last night. - -The morale of the men is very low again, but fortunately the weather -prevents the Huns from doing anything but shell us. - -_Sept. 15._ Signs of the weather improving at last, but mud is very -plentiful and we experience great difficulty in getting about. Artillery -and machine-guns were very active on both sides last night, and, as we -had unusually large parties out, I had a very worrying time. At one time -there were 150 men bunched together on the road for nearly an hour on -account of Brigade giving wrong orders. It was a great relief when we -were able to move them and no damage had been done—but a mistake like -that frequently costs twenty lives and no one is shot for it. - -About 2 a.m. I went out in front to reconnoitre a line for wire when I -came across three dead Bosche in a shell-hole. One was an enormously fat -man, and as I was turning him over to cut off his shoulder numbers he -grunted fiercely like a man awakening from a heavy sleep. For a moment I -was horrified and put my hand on my revolver and waited, for perhaps -half a minute, undecided what to do. Then I saw the truth. The noise -which had startled me was due to the gases of decomposition being forced -through his mouth when I turned him over—another of the glories of war! - -_Sept. 16._ A really fine day at last and our spirits rise -accordingly—our hopes are drowning and we have to clutch at the -flimsiest of straws. - -Last night was very quiet and a lot of good work was done. The men went -back about 4 a.m. and I turned into Battalion H.Q. for a pow-wow with -the Colonel. As I was walking home about half an hour afterwards the Hun -put down a very heavy gas-shell bombardment, particularly around the -track. I lay in a hole for half an hour with my mask on and was -frightened to death lest I should be splashed with some of the infernal -liquid. The shells were not more than 18–pounders, but some of them were -unpleasantly close. This morning Division reports that some 3000 shells -came over in the half-hour. - -A new officer joined us to-day. He is about thirty, wears gold-rimmed -glasses, and has never seen the war before. He looks around with the -wonderment of a little child and will be an infernal nuisance to us. -Still, I suppose there are no real men left now. - -_Sept. 17._ Spent the night by myself crawling around in front and -noting the places most in need of wire. I came across a German post with -four men in it and a light machine-gun. They were well forward, quite -isolated and obviously nervous. I told the nearest company, but they -wouldn’t do anything, and even looked frightened to think that there -were real live Germans so near them. - -A sod splashed down in the trench outside, and I noticed the orderly at -the door, a lad about eighteen, jump and nearly drop his rifle. It all -makes one very sad if you look back upon the days when there would have -been a clamour to go and snaffle that post. And this is the Division -which captured and lost one village seven times on one bloody day, and -finally held it against all attacks with a fifth of its effectives on -their feet. - -_Sept. 18._ The men went back into reserve billets to-day, but I stayed -on with the relieving sections. The ground is beginning to dry again and -life becomes more pleasant. - -There is great aerial activity and the Hun shoots very much on our roads -and back areas—surely we are not preparing a stunt? - -_Sept. 19._ Received orders to return to reserve billets as we are going -out of the line. Spent a busy day handing over work and packing up, as -the whole company moves to-morrow. - -_Sept. 20._ Trekked to our new billets in reserve, which are almost out -of the war—even the 60–pounders are well in front of us. Spent a quiet -day making cover for the men, rigging up horse-lines, and generally -settling down. There is more billeting accommodation than we have seen -for months and, greatest joy of all, we can sleep in our pyjamas. - -_Sept. 21._ Apparently there is some kind of a stunt coming off, because -we have instructions to rest the men as much as possible and give them -an easy time. Accordingly we do a little drill, paint our transport, -clean rifles and ammunition, overhaul explosives, etc., etc. - -There is some fascination about this war game, some inexplicable grip -which it has over us. In spite of everything we have gone through there -is, once more, a thrill of expectation in the air, and the men seem -keener, as though looking forward to something. - -No one could hate war more than I do, and yet I would be bitterly -disappointed if sent on leave to-morrow. And if we, of all men, can -still feel moments of exhilaration, can there ever be a League of -Nations? - -_Sept. 22._ The usual instruction work and overhauling of equipment. -Orders came through to-day that we are to give the men instruction in -attack, open warfare, and extended order formations. The men enjoy it -and are cheering up tremendously. - -There are now several new Divisions in our area, guns are coming forward -and more troops arrive every day, all of them apparently from the south. -They seem fresher and more confident than our own men, but they have -already had the experience of driving Huns before them—we, on the other -hand, have been fighting a losing fight with our backs to the wall for -over seven months. A lot of kilted troops arrived to-day. - -_Sept. 23._ Had the men out all day practising attack formations. It is -hard to believe that these fiercely rushing groups of men are the same -troops who were fought to a standstill at Kemmel, and held that -blood-soaked line with such dogged fatalism through the weary summer. -And after two or three days’ rest they are expected to go forward -again—a man must feel proud! - -_Sept. 24._ Training hard. In spite of high hopes dashed before, we seem -as keen as ever to make another effort. The atmosphere seems charged -with electricity, more troops are pouring in, and the broad-gauge -railway is up nearly as far as our billets. - -Was recommended again for an M.C.—this time due to appear in the King’s -Christmas Honours List. - -_Sept. 25._ We are still without orders, but the attack must be near at -hand now—expectation and excitement. - -_Sept. 26._ Received preliminary orders that Day and I will take a -section each and join the Artillery Brigades to make roads and bridges -for them in the advance. Two sections remain in reserve under Cooper. -Attack before dawn on the 28th. - -Went up to the Brigade to arrange details and went to bed on return. -Roused after an hour’s sleep to go out with a section to repair two -forward bridges near the front line before daybreak. - -Got about twenty men and miscellaneous material on to two pontoon wagons -and started out in drizzling rain. I sat in the front of the first -wagon, and as we lumbered off into the dark I fell into a sort of -reverie. I thought lazily of home and of the 28th, and the things it -might mean, and in my mind I went again over the characters of the men, -the good ones and the doubtful ones, and detailed them off for different -jobs—these and a thousand other thoughts wandered idly through my mind, -punctuated by the jolting of the wagon and the barking of the -18–pounders. Then the men began to sing, very quietly and sweetly, and -the rise and fall of their voices seemed to add some special -significance to the night. We made good progress over the bad roads, -stopping occasionally to check our way or adjust a girth. - -Now they were singing “Annie Laurie,” and I heard Garner say “Damn” -under his breath. I asked him what was the matter with them to-night, -and he said, “Dunno, sir, but I wish they wouldn’t sing like that.” The -rain had developed into a heavy Scotch mist which swallowed up the lead -driver and the mounted corporal. I shivered under my coat, and felt -unutterably lonely and sad. - -At last the wagons stopped and we went forward on foot towards the work. -We bridged three trenches and then came to the main job, a 15–foot span -across a swollen _beek_, and not more than 400 yards from the German -lines. For about an hour the work went quietly and well and we got an -arch across the stream in the form of an old French steel shelter. - -Suddenly there was a short, fierce whine, a crash, and a livid burst of -flame right in the party—three more followed almost instantaneously and -then for a second an awful silence. Some one said “Christ!” and began to -cry gently. Five men were killed, three of them practically missing, and -three badly wounded. By a miracle the work was practically undamaged. - -We took the casualties to the wagons and returned to the job—how the men -worked there again I shall never know, but they did, and the bridge was -across an hour before dawn. The suddenness of the shock has knocked my -nerves to pieces and even as I write my hand trembles. - -Looking back now I can see something unnatural in the whole of that ride -in the pontoons—little details were too impressive, and there was an -almost unhuman beauty in the way they sang that song. I am sure that -some of those men had a vague premonition of what was coming. - -_Sept. 27._ Lay down for a few hours after we got back, but was unable -to sleep. At midday I took Nos. 2 and 3 Sections to forward billets at -Pig-stye Farm, and at 5 p.m. No. 3 Section moved out again to join their -Brigade. The company transport and reserve sections arrived about 9 p.m. - -Major and I had a final talk together, and I turned in about 11 p.m. I -was nervous and excited, and although very tired, slept but little. - -_Sept. 28._ No. 2 Section breakfasted at 2.15 a.m. and were ready on the -road at 3.30. Whilst I was inspecting them the barrage started on our -left for the Belgian attack, and the northern sky was bubbling with -light. - -We reached Brigade H.Q. at the château about 5.15 and at 5.30 our -barrage started and the front line troops went over. The scheme was that -we were to go forward at once and make a track passable for 18–pounders -from their present positions up to second jumping-off line. They were -expected to be there about noon and would then be in a position to -support the further advance of the infantry. Everything depended on -getting the field guns forward to support the second attack. - -I left the transport at the château under the corporal and led the men -forward towards a half-dried-up canal which was the first break in the -road. It was raining heavily. - -It soon became apparent that the Germans were maintaining a barrage on -this side of the canal, and as time was against us we had got to go -through it. It looked rough and ugly and the men were looking at each -other. For a moment I was tempted—we were absolutely alone and it was up -to me—nobody could blame us if we didn’t go through, and in an hour it -would probably have stopped. We were perhaps five hundred yards from the -canal and shells were bursting heavily—there was no cover and at times -the canal banks were obscured by the fumes and smoke from the bursts. -Something outside a man takes hold of him at these times and tells him -what to do. In half a minute I was calmly saying, “Come on,” and the men -were following in single file, about ten paces from man to man. I -thought we should never get across—we tried to run but we kept sticking -in the mud and bunching together—just like a nightmare. Once or twice I -looked round and the men were grand—two fellows were hit and the others -dragged them across—then a third went down and was picked up by the two -behind—eventually we were under the shelter of the canal bank with one -man killed and two wounded. It was great, and after that I felt we could -do anything. - -By now we were soaked to the skin, but bunches of prisoners were coming -back and the worst seemed to be over. We worked steadily on the roads -under fairly continuous shell-fire, and by 10 a.m. the track was -completed. After this the German shell-fire weakened as the advance went -forward and his guns were either taken or forced to withdraw. The men -were worn out and literally covered with mud, so I withdrew to some old -dug-outs in the canal bank. A message was sent for the transport to come -forward and another one to the company for rum. The men had just lit -fires and were beginning to dry themselves when I received a message -that the guns had reached their destination but our further help was -wanted at once. At 11.30 the section moved forward again, and by 2 p.m. -the whole Brigade were standing to for action in their new positions. -The Division moved up into line during the afternoon and the advance -pushed on—Wytschaete-Messines, and the Warneton line are reported -captured. - -At 4 p.m. the section returned to the canal, awaiting further orders. -The Brigade commander personally thanked me for the day’s work. At 4.30 -I received news that the transport was stuck somewhere behind us, but -they were trying to get the limber forward with six horses in it instead -of the normal two—the tool-cart had been abandoned. Eventually the -limber arrived and then I sent four horses back for the tool-cart which -arrived about 6.30 _via_ Ypres—the roads are in a terrible state and -will do more than the Huns to hold us up. - -At 7 the men had a meal—the first since 2 a.m. this morning—and after -that turned in to a more than well-earned rest. I went over to see the -Colonel and learnt that they are pushing on over the hills and Comines -is to be captured to-morrow. Every one is delighted, the show has been a -great success and casualties are light in comparison with the -results—the only trouble is the mud, with which we are literally covered -from head to foot. - -_Sept. 29._ Our rations arrived about 5 a.m., but no forage for the -horses, and we were unable to move forward in consequence—my biggest -trouble is going to be to keep in touch with supplies and water during -this nomadic life. Roads were reported passable as far as the front, so -I left the section standing to under the sergeant and rode off to find -the company. I hunted about all morning and found them at last at the -old place but just ready to move off. Arranged to draw rations direct -from the company each day with my own limber. I took two nose-bags of -corn back with me on my mare, gave the limber horses a feed when I -reached the section, and then sent them back for rations. Somehow or -other the company has heard some very highly-coloured accounts of our -passage through the barrage on the 28th. - -At 2 p.m. I rode forward with an orderly and visited the Brigade and all -batteries. Heavy rain set in again, and as every one seemed fairly -comfortable and there was no accommodation forward I decided to spend -another night at the canal. The road is blocked with traffic from -morning till night, and I am afraid it will break up badly if the rain -continues—the whole show depends on that one, blessed road, and -apparently it is going to be my job for two or three days more until the -Corps troops can get up. The Brigade was in action when I reached them -and a stiff fight was going on around the last ridges—the Huns are -sticking a bit and a fierce counter-attack had just been driven -back—rifle and machine-gun fire was very intense. I saw a lot of Hun -dead about the roads and a few of our fellows. The Huns have left a lot -of guns behind and should be fairly hard hit. - -It was dark when I got back, and the horses could hardly crawl along. -Rations and forage came up shortly afterwards, so we turned in and had a -good night’s rest. - -_Sept. 30._ Heavy rain all last night. At 8 a.m. I sent two orderlies up -to Brigade and my groom back to the company to change my mare—she was -completely exhausted. Pending receipt of orders we rigged up a shelter -for the horses, as they were shivering badly and I began to be -frightened for them—the poor beasts are caked with mud, and even their -eyes are hardly free from it. - -At noon received orders to go forward as early as possible, so I sent -half the limber back for rations and moved up with the section. After a -really terrific struggle we got as far as the batteries and managed to -find a bit of cover in some old German concrete dug-outs. Worked till -dark on the road and then started to fix things up for the night. The -dug-outs were in the middle of a swamp about 500 yards from the road, -and in the dark it took us three-quarters of an hour to reach them. I -had to give up all idea of getting the horses across, and finally found -a place where they could stand about a mile from the dug-outs. The -drivers were quite worn out, so we had to mount a stable-guard of -sappers, with instructions to move the horses every hour to prevent them -sinking in the mud. It is still raining, bitterly cold, and I can’t -understand how the poor beasts live. The wagons are nearly axle deep. -Shortly after midnight I had every one settled and then crawled, -literally, into my own shack. It is an old Bosche concrete place and -stinks like Hell—there are two wooden bunks in it, but it is dry. My man -lit a fire on the floor and we warmed up some old tea in my shaving mug. -I was chilled to the bone and there was nothing to eat, but I shall -always believe that that tea saved my life. There was no room for -officer and servant there—just two very weary men, we sat on either side -the fire drying our socks and the smell mingled with the fetid odours of -the dug-out. Our eyes grew red and tearful with the smoke, which -eventually drove us to the uninviting boards, where we slept like the -Babes in the Wood. Several times during the night I woke up shivering -with cold and the clammy clothes sticking to my skin, but—we were over -the hills and I would not have missed that night for all the gold in -Africa. - -_Oct. 1._ Up at 5.30 and immensely cheered to see a blue sky, although I -didn’t begin to feel normally warm until about noon. Bully and biscuit -for breakfast as a change from the biscuit and bully of the preceding -days. Received an official note of thanks from the Brigade for our work, -and orders from the C.R.E. to rejoin the company. Apparently the advance -is held up for a few days until heavy guns and supplies can get forward -again. I sent No. 2 Section forward to work on the new plank avoiding -road and returned to meet the Major at 8 a.m. He returned to the company -and sent up Nos. 1 and 4 Sections to me from reserve billets. No. 3 -Section also rejoined, so I fixed the lot in billets as well as possible -and then took out Nos. 1, 3, 4 to work on the road with No. 2. We have -now got all our limbers and tool-carts as far as the batteries, and I am -commanding all the sections—Cooper remains with the heavy transport on -the other side of the mud. Rode round the work during the afternoon and -met the C.R.E., who was full of congratulations. Withdrew to billets at -5 p.m. to give the men a chance to dry their clothes and have a warm -meal—the first they have had since the 27th. - -We are without definite news, but apparently the whole show has been a -great success, and the Army is only waiting until we can get the roads -through. I can never forget the great change which seemed to spread like -wildfire over the spirit of the Army on the evening of the 28th–29th. - -We were in the midst of the worst of the mud area, miles of transport -wagons were bogged along our single road, it was raining hard, and few -of us had eaten anything for twenty-four hours. Nobody was looking -forward to the dawn. But from somewhere behind us a rumour came through -that Bulgaria had asked for Peace. There was no cheering, no -demonstration of any sort, but the news seemed to put new spirit into -the tired troops. The weary mud-caked horses were lashed and spurred -again, men put their aching shoulders to the wheels, and once more the -limbers lumbered forward. All night long the wagons toiled painfully up -those fateful ridges where scores of thousands of our finest infantry -had died, and in the drizzling dawn they saw their reward at last—behind -them lay the dull, dead plain, with its memories of misery and -mud—before them, they looked down upon a new, unbroken country, and the -spire of Tenbrielen church, untouched of shot or shell, beckoned like a -winning post against the eastern sky. - -_Oct. 2._ Heavy rain again last night, but it hasn’t damped our spirits. -We could meet almost any call again now. - -At 5.30 a.m. an orderly came in with orders from the C.R.E. saying that -we are to work from six to nine on the Divisional main road. By dashing -off without any breakfast we were able to start at 7.30, and returned -for a meal at noon—our first since yesterday evening. In the afternoon -Day worked the sections on the road while the Major and I brought up the -heavy transport. - -Artillery horse-lines just forward of our own were heavily shelled for -about five minutes and a lot of horses were knocked out—about 100 of the -poor beasts stampeded, and it was a pitiful sight to see some of them -dragging their entrails along the ground. - -This incident made me realise that if the Germans have any fight left in -them at all we are in a very precarious position. Several Divisions are -herded together with the River Lys in front of them and an impassable -belt of swamp and mud behind. A really energetic counter-attack would -give us another Cambrai. - -At night many fires were visible again where the enemy is burning -villages along his retreat—many of these appear to be very far off, -which looks as if they contemplate a big withdrawal—a favourite theory -is that they will withdraw as far as the Meuse for the winter. - -_Oct. 3._ Company commenced work on a new plank road to relieve the -strain on the main road. - -I went forward with three wagons to a dump on the Menin road to get -material, but it took us all morning to get there as the roads were -blocked with artillery limbers—we want ten times more transport and ten -times more labour than we have got if we are to make any reasonable -progress. The Field Companies are quite inadequate to cope with any -serious road-making in an advance like this. - -In the afternoon scouted round with Cooper looking for what had once -been a first-class road, clearly marked on our maps. - -We couldn’t find a stone, a tree, or any single thing that would -indicate where the road had been—we couldn’t even fix it from our maps, -as farms, houses, and landmarks of any description had totally -disappeared. We had some difficulty in getting back, and once Cooper’s -horse went down to her belly in the mud—we nearly lost her, but got her -out eventually. - -_Oct. 4._ Took all wagons to the dump and got a lot of material up -during the day—made some appreciable progress on the road. Two new -officers have joined us, and Day has gone back to H.Q. wagon lines. Was -delighted to meet two old friends, Lucas and Mitchell of our left -Division, in the afternoon. - -_Oct. 5._ Road is now going forward well, and we had another fine day -although very cold. Things seem to be sorting themselves out after the -last advance and we should soon be ready to try again. - -_Oct. 6._ Orders from the C.R.E. that we shall probably move again -to-morrow and all ranks are to have as much rest as possible. Worked all -morning on the road and packed pontoons, etc., during the afternoon. - -_Oct. 7._ Two sections moved at 7 a.m. to work again on the avoiding -road, and two sections moved across country towards the Menin road. At 9 -a.m. I took the transport across in front of Ypres and picked up Cooper -with the pontoons in the afternoon. We made a horse-lines there, as it -was the only patch of dry earth available, but before getting in we had -to shift about fifteen dead mules which had been killed the night before -by a bomb. - -Billeted the sections in an area containing one dug-out, just off the -Ypres-Menin road—a piece of ground probably more fiercely fought over -than any other during the war. The solitary dug-out was unusable owing -to prevalence of dead Bosche—as Mark Twain would say, “Fixed, so that -they could outvote us.” We couldn’t find a level piece of ground large -enough to take one tent without a lot of digging. The sergeants found a -very good place for their tent, but a dead Hun was in possession of the -freehold. They decided to bury him, and deepened a shell-hole -accordingly; then the problem, how to get him into it? The -Sergeant-Major took his boots and the Farrier very gingerly took his -sleeves; they lifted, but his arms came out in the Farrier’s hands. They -withdrew to windward and talked; it was growing dusk, the tent must go -up. Finally the Farrier put his gas mask on and literally buried him in -shovelfuls. _Pro patria——?_ - -The only way to stop war is to tell these facts in the school history -books and cut out the rot about the gallant charges, the victorious -returns, and the blushing damsels who scatter roses under the conquering -heroes’ feet. Every soldier knows that a re-writing of the history books -would stop war more effectively than the most elaborately covenanted -league which tired politico-legal minds can conceive. - -_Oct. 8._ Working all day on the roads. It is a dreary job in this -blighted, featureless country. - -_Oct. 9._ Received orders to report again at Artillery Brigade H.Q., so -there is obviously another stunt in the wind. In the meantime we are -still mud-slinging. - -_Oct. 10._ Went forward into the outposts to reconnoitre tracks and ways -forward for the guns. We were in absolutely virgin country, and it was a -new experience to think of death lurking behind these green hedges and -quiet farm buildings. - -At night took the section up and did a lot of work—filled in several -ditches, cleared a ride through a wood, and chopped down several trees -with which we made a small bridge—took the floor out of the farm kitchen -to cover it with. - -_Oct. 11._ Out reconnoitring again all morning, and at night took a -company of Pioneers up to work on a second track. Had a very unpleasant -time on the Menin road, where we were heavily shelled—some artillery -transport suffered badly, but we got through without casualties. - -The weather continues fine, and everything points to another show about -the 15th. The Huns have put up a lot of wire, but the field guns have -been shooting this down steadily for three days now, and the heavies are -coming into position. This morning when I was up, our shells were -falling dead in the belts of wire and cutting broad lanes through it. - -Sent in two recommendations for Military Medals for work in the last -show:— - -MOUNTED CORPORAL.—For great gallantry and devotion to duty in bringing -up transport and supplies under heavy shell-fire and at great personal -risk. His action greatly contributed to the success of the section in -its work of helping forward the guns. - -A SAPPER.—For conspicuous gallantry and devotion to duty when repairing -a bridge under heavy shell-fire for the advance of the artillery. He set -a fine example to his comrades, and persevered with his work until it -was completed, regardless of great personal danger. - -It was hard to write the above, knowing that every man equally deserves -those medals—the whole institution of awards ought to be abolished; -except, perhaps, the V.C. - -_Oct. 12._ Skipper returned from leave. Company still carrying on with -roads. No. 2 Section out with me all night widening a bridge. It was a -miserable night with heavy rain and howling wind, but the men worked -cheerfully and a lot of work was done. So far as we are concerned all is -now ready for the next attack. - -_Oct. 13._ The attack is to start early on the morning of the 14th, and -will be general along the Army front. The company received orders to -move forward to-day, but I had to go on to Brigade before they started -or before I knew exactly where they were going. I left Brigade shortly -after dusk and returned to find two companies of Pioneers who were -detailed to work under me to-morrow. I knew they were somewhere in the -morass near the Menin road, but I blundered about for two hours before I -found them. It required all my will power to keep me going, and when -finally I saw their tents I was in the last stages of exhaustion—several -times I must have been very near to them, but it was impossible to see -more than 20 yards, and I had passed away again, going round and round -in circles. I was so weak towards the end that I used to lie still in -the mud for several minutes every time I fell, aching in every muscle, -and wondering how many more times I could fall without dropping off to -sleep. - -It was after 1 a.m. when I left the Pioneers and there was a four-mile -walk to where I thought the company would be. I wandered from battery to -battery asking for news of them, but no one could tell me where they -were. It was absolutely vital that I should find them before dawn, but -at last my legs failed completely and I collapsed in the middle of the -road. I crawled into a hole in the bank but, tired as I was, couldn’t -sleep because of the cold. I was tormented with fears as to what would -happen in the morning as I was the only officer who knew the gun tracks -and almost everything depended on the clearing of those. - -_Oct. 14._ Dawn came at last, cold, clear, and very beautiful, and at -5.35 the barrage came to spoil it. I set off towards the batteries in -the hope of picking the men up there and found the Pioneers. I gave them -work to go on with and turned to try to find my own fellows. The din -from our own guns was terrific and the German retaliation seemed -unusually heavy. The hard, persistent rattle of machine-gun fire in -front seemed to indicate that we had stuck and a lot of wounded seemed -to be coming back—some shells exploded very near me and I dropped into a -ditch. I was cold, hungry, and tired, and at that moment would have sold -my soul to have been out of it all. Above me the sky was serenely blue -and peaceful, but eastwards it was shot with balls of multi-coloured -smoke, just as if an invisible artist were dabbing splotches of colour -on to a blue canvas. - -Why, oh! why should I walk into that blazing inferno and die on a -morning like this? These thoughts were actually in my mind when I saw -Cooper coming down the road with the section—they thought I had been -killed. I shall always remember standing there in the road and chewing -ravenously at a hunk of bully which I held in my muddy fingers. It was -my first meal for seventeen hours, and I never enjoyed one better. - -Then we went forward, and I began to get hold of myself again as the -work engaged my attention. I shall never forget one sight. A big -highlander with the lower part of his face blown off walking down the -railway with a prisoner in front of him—his right hand on the back of -the German’s neck and his left hand holding his face together with the -blood pouring through his fingers. Men coming back say the Huns stuck -hard at first, but we are going well forward now. - -To-day’s programme was roughly as follows:— - -The Army Corps is to form bridgeheads across the River Lys for a -defensive flank. One R.E. company takes all the Divisional pontoons and -stands by to bridge when the infantry get to the river. One section of -this to dash forward with Lewis guns and try to prevent destruction of -existing bridges. - -The second company and two of our own sections are working on roads with -special instructions to search for and destroy land mines. One of our -remaining sections reporting on German dumps, and generally gathering -information, and the last section arranging temporary water supplies. - -We went forward very well during the morning as there was practically no -shell-fire after the first two hours. The losses seem to have been -fairly heavy in forcing the first trenches, and there were a lot of -bodies lying crumpled up among the German wire. All that we saw were the -veriest youngsters, and they looked so out of place lying there dead in -the green fields on this beautiful autumn morning. Shortly after noon we -arrived at a large farm and found ourselves mixed up with the front line -infantry, who were held up. We lay behind a hedge and got a few shots -into a feeble German counter-attack, and after this the line went -forward again. - -We remained at the farm and about two o’clock were heavily shelled by -German field guns. Several machine-gunners were hit and the Brigade -Commander, who had just arrived, had his leg blown off. For a few -minutes the place was in chaos, but two 18–pounders galloped up and -silenced the Hun battery with their first few shots. After these years -of trench warfare it is wonderful to see field guns galloping into -action and engaging the enemy over open sights. - -Beyond the farm the roads were in perfect condition, so we returned to -the company and found them in tents on a hill about three miles behind. -I thought at one time the men would have to carry me back, I had never -felt so tired. Bad news awaited us—Cooper had been killed early in the -morning, about half an hour after the attack started—later in the day -the Sergeant-Major was wounded, and there were eleven casualties among -the men. - -The passing of an old friend makes a big impression in a small mess, and -we were very silent at night as we sat and smoked after supper. The town -of Menin was burning fiercely and many other places farther to the east. - -_Oct. 15._ Buried Cooper fairly decently in some old sacking at a -Belgian cemetery. No orders came through, and we had a day of welcome -rest. - -_Oct. 16._ Company moved forward at 10.30 a.m. to battle areas and took -over billets from a company of our left Division. - -There are no signs of war here, and almost every man in the company has -a bed to sleep in—splendid grazing for the horses and lots of vegetables -in the fields for ourselves. It is all like fairyland, and we walked out -solemnly this afternoon to look at a large green field without a single -shell-hole in it. - -Reports state that we have taken Courtrai, and streams of refugees -coming back along the roads indicate that it may be true. Unfortunately, -they are all of the very lowest classes, and as they only speak Flemish -we were unable to get any information out of them. - -It is a heartbreaking sight to see them trudging through the rain—old -men, women, and the tiniest of children. - -Sometimes they wheel a barrow containing a few of their goods, but most -of them are without anything except the miserable rags they stand in. - -_Oct. 17._ Had the company out all day doing road drainage. The tedium -of the work was relieved by a ghastly incident, showing how low these -poor refugees have sunk. A party of them were trudging listlessly along -the road when the leaders noticed a dead horse lying in the ditch. In a -few seconds the men and women had taken their knives and were fighting -like animals on the distended carcass, chattering and shrieking like a -crowd of hungry jackals. As they worked they threw the chunks of -bleeding meat into the road, where the children fought for them and -stowed them in the barrows. In a few minutes the horse was stripped to -his bones, the noise subsided, and the ghouls trudged on their way. - -_Oct. 18._ Working on the road all day in heavy rain, but were called -out again at night to form a bridgehead across the river in front of us. -We are in possession of half the town on the near side of the river, but -the Germans have destroyed all the bridges and hold the eastern half of -the town. - -The main road bridge in the centre of the town lay across the bed of the -river in a maze of twisted steel-work—we were required to make a foot -bridge across these ruins for the infantry to get across. Day climbed -across with three men and a Lewis gun on the ruins of the old bridge and -cleared a German machine-gun party out of the farther bank. After this -we started work and made fair progress considering the vile conditions. -With the river sucking and swirling below them and the cold rain numbing -their fingers, it was anything but an easy task for the men to keep -their foothold on the slippery, twisted girders. In addition we were -shelled persistently through the night, and seven men were down when the -first infantry went across about 4 a.m. - -_Oct. 19._ An hour after our return to billets orders came through for -us to move forward again. The other companies got two pontoon bridges -across the river during the day and we billeted near at hand, to provide -maintenance parties. I was very tired and turned into bed early, looking -forward to a long night’s sleep. - -Just as I was dozing off the orderly corporal came in with a message -from the bridge patrol asking me to go out as numerous things were going -wrong. There is no worse torture for a really tired man than to allow -him to get into a warm, comfortable bed for a few minutes and then turn -him out into a stormy night. And I had been living all day on the -strength of the night’s sleep that I was going to get! - -Arrived at the bridges I had no time for regrets—the river was rising, -the traffic was absolutely continuous, and everything that could go -wrong was doing so. - -However, we kept them going all night long with the exception of a -twenty-minute stopping of one bridge, and Day relieved me at 6 a.m. I -was relieved in more senses than one, for two or three times during the -night I felt things getting too much for me, things that I would have -enjoyed three years ago. Wild, angry thoughts went running through my -mind as we struggled with that creaking, groaning bridge, and nursed it -through the weary hours—and worst of all, the bitter thought that so -long as we succeeded none of the sleeping millions at home would ever -hear of the work we did. And thousands of men all over France were doing -just the same - - “That the Sons of Mary may overcome it, - Pleasantly sleeping and unaware.” - -Why should I be alone there in the dark with that nerve-racking -responsibility, and why should we splash in that freezing water, heaving -anchors, tightening trestle chains, and baling the leaky pontoons?—and -all unknown! - -These are bitter thoughts, but I am worn out—for months I have been -living on my will power, but my body and my nerves were exhausted a year -ago. I find it cynically amusing to wonder what the idealistic, -rugby-playing self of 1913 would think of this introspective, -nerve-shattered crock. He would have sniffed and turned away—as the -world will do when we return. - -_Oct. 20._ Standing to all day under one hour’s notice to move as the -forward Division are attacking the ridge which overlooks the Scheldt. In -the evening we heard that the attack was held up and failed, and we are -to try our luck to-morrow. At 9.30 p.m. I rode forward with No. 2 -Section with orders to join the Fusiliers before dawn. It was abnormally -dark, raining persistently, and I had the greatest difficulty in finding -our way—worst of all, I had to conquer an evergrowing feeling that I -didn’t care whether I found it or not—even that little responsibility -was too much for me. I wanted to be alone to cry. After two hours I fell -into a coma and then dismounted and walked to prevent myself giving way -altogether. - -We found the Brigade at 3 a.m., and I put the men into a barn for two -hours’ rest. I gave orders to be called at five, and turned into an -arm-chair in the farm-house kitchen. - -For the first time since I came to France my nerves gave way completely -and I was tormented with fears of the morrow. I had just been told that -we were to go forward with the Fusiliers against the banks of a canal -and help them across as well as we could—there would be machine-gun fire -and no cover. Those were the facts. We have done infinitely worse a -thousand times and thought nothing of it. - -But I lay in that chair for two hours actually shivering with fear and -apprehension. My crazy mind wouldn’t rest, and I saw myself killed in a -dozen different ways as we rushed for the canal bank—at one time I had -the wildest impulse to run away and hide until the attack was over. I -knew that was impossible, and then I thought I would report sick and -pretend to faint. I was ready to do anything except face machine-gun -fire again—once we got so close that I could see a German’s face leering -behind his gun and the familiar death rattle was as loud as thunder in -my ears. I sat and watched my hand shaking on the edge of the chair and -had no more control over it than if it had belonged to some one else. - -Somehow I pulled together when the orderly corporal came, paraded the -section, mechanically inspected the tools, and then marched off. In ten -minutes I was myself again and at 6.30 we reached the Fusiliers. At 7 -the advance commenced in drizzling rain and we moved forward over the -sodden fields. - -_Oct. 21._ It was very misty at first, and the whole affair reminded me -of a Laffan’s Plain manœuvre—the scattered groups of men worked steadily -forward over the open fields and occasionally a nervous civilian would -take a peep at us from a farm-house window—there was no sign of war -except, perhaps, an unnatural stillness which seemed to hang over the -countryside like a mist. It gave one an uncanny feeling, this blundering -forward in the mist across an unknown country—the only certainty, that -Death was in front and that we must walk on until He declared Himself. - -By eleven we were within a thousand yards of the canal and could dimly -see the general line of the banks in front of us. Here, at least, we -knew that there would be resistance, but as yet there came no sound from -the rising ground in front. The ground between us and the canal was very -open, so we rested some minutes behind the last thick hedges and took -the opportunity of reorganising the units. Then we went forward again, a -long straggling line of crouching figures who cursed and panted as they -toiled over the swampy ground. - -At last the storm broke, heavy machine-gun fire but at rather long -range. The line flopped down into the mud, and groups of men began to -work forward in short rushes to a ditch in front which seemed to offer -cover. We reached this with very few casualties, but the fire was too -hot for further progress. Sniping continued all day, and in places we -pushed two or three hundred yards nearer to the canal. No. 2 Section -took refuge in a farm-house and awaited developments. - -After dusk I crawled forward with Jennings of the Fusiliers and got -through on to the canal towpath—there were a lot of Huns round the canal -and their outposts were fully 300 yards on our side of it. After some -difficulty we got within about 50 yards of the bridge and I noticed that -the Huns could still crawl across, although it was badly -damaged—allowing for further demolitions I didn’t think we should have -much trouble in getting a foot-bridge across the ruins—we were nearly -caught once, and lay between the water and the towpath while a party of -about ten Huns walked along the path not ten feet away. Got back safely -in the small hours and had a short rest in soaking clothes on the -farm-house floor. - -I am too exhausted to feel tired. - -_Oct. 22._ Apparently some of our people have got across the canal -farther to the north, and at 9 a.m. the attack was resumed on that side -with a view to forcing the Huns out of their position. Our orders were -to co-operate by means of a demonstration against the canal, but the -machine-gun fire was too heavy and we could do nothing except waste a -lot of ammunition. I only remember seeing a German once during the whole -day, and yet the slightest exposure on our part was answered by an -immediate burst of fire—they stuck it very well, because the fighting on -their right flank was very heavy and they would all have been taken if -we had got through. For several hours during the morning the rifle and -machine-gun fire on our left was very heavy, and the 18–pounders were -continuously in action. Towards noon a battery of 68–pounders came into -action and also some howitzers—several fires broke out in the houses, -but the shells had no effect on the concealed gunners in the canal -banks, and we waited in vain for the blue rocket that was to signal us -forward. About two o’clock an intelligence officer came round and we -learnt that the Germans stuck very hard this morning—we made practically -no progress as a result of the battle, and our losses have been heavy. - -At 4.30 the attack on our left was resumed, and the Queens made a very -gallant advance which brought them down almost as far as our left flank -on the canal—unfortunately, there was no support, and before dusk the -weary men had to retreat to their original positions. - -On our immediate right there was very little opposition, and the Durhams -are firmly established across the canal. Farther south, however, our -right Division repeated the performance of the Queens on a larger scale -and had to abandon a hardly-won bridgehead across the river after a day -of strenuous fighting. - -At 8 p.m. I was informed by Brigade that owing to the retirement of the -Queens I was covering a half-mile gap, and “should take steps -accordingly.” I mounted a piquet with the Lewis gun a few hundred yards -forward of the farm, and sent out patrols every half-hour, but the night -passed off without incident. I took out two patrols myself but could -find neither our own people nor Huns. - -We have had a bad day to-day—hard fighting, heavy losses, and no -progress—people at home seem to think that we are chasing a beaten army -which runs so fast that we cannot keep in touch with them. Would that it -were true; but we have been badly mauled to-day and there is precious -little offensive spirit in our nineteen-year-olds. - -I saw a boy of the Middlesex coming back with a finger shot away—they -had run against a farm-house with three Huns and a machine-gun and had -lost four men in taking it. He said that the bloody “die-hards” had -lived up to their name again—four casualties! - -And yet there was a day on Zandvoorde Ridge when twenty-three men, left -out of 800, lay behind the piled-up bodies of their dead and held the -line against the flower of the Pomeranian Guard—and they didn’t talk of -“die hards.” - -_Oct. 23._ The Brigade was taken out of the line this morning and at -noon we had rejoined our transport. We were under orders to move almost -at once and dragged ourselves wearily on to the road, the men singing a -doleful dirge, “I’m sure we can’t stick it no longer.” For the sake of -example I hobbled too, but would have sold my soul to get on Rosie’s -back—to kill the temptation I loaded four men’s packs across her. - -After dark we came across a battery of field guns standing to with their -trails half across the road—by skilful driving and occasionally taking a -wheel over the trails we got the limbers and the tool-carts past, but it -was too much for the last pontoon—her off hind-wheel hit a trail, the -wheel horses slipped on the pavé, and the whole contraption slithered -sideways into the ditch. I wanted to cry, but fortunately found the -necessary relief in telling the gunners what I thought of them. It took -us almost an hour to get the wagon clear, and it was midnight before the -men were into billets. There was a pile of straw for me in front of a -roaring fire in the farm-house kitchen. I collapsed on to this, too -exhausted even to loosen my boots or my tunic collar. - -_Oct. 24._ Let there be no mistake—last night was the happiest night of -my life, and getting up at six o’clock this morning was the most -wonderful thing that I have ever done. I looked into a mirror and -realised with amusement why the old farmer was so terrified when I -staggered in last night. The scar under my left eye is still prominent, -my clothes were sodden and even my tousled hair was matted with mud; -with the exception of my tunic all my uniform is standard Tommy outfit, -and I wore a five-days’ growth of beard—surely a more unkempt looking -brigand never masqueraded as a British officer. - -I looked at my great murderous maulers and wondered idly how they had -evolved from the sensitive, manicured fingers that used to pen theses on -“Colloidal Fuel” and “The Theory of Heat Distribution in Cylinder -Walls.” And I found the comparison good. - -No orders came through for us during the day, but we heard that another -early morning attack on the canal had failed—all honour to those Hun -machine-gunners. - -After a day of strenuous cleaning, the company paraded in the afternoon -and looked ready once more for anything that Hell could offer. I counted -the faces that I could remember from the beginning, but there were very -few left—and myself the only officer. It struck me, too, that the very -men left were the ones who had run the greatest risks—hard-bitten devils -like Stephens, who had been in the thick of every mess the company had -struck—perhaps it is true that where there is no fear there is no -danger. - -_Oct. 25._ Spent another quiet day, but was rushed into the war again at -very short notice in the evening. Out all night with two sections -assisting forward company to put a trestle bridge across the canal lower -down. There was an enormous German timber dump close at hand, and -although most of the yard was burning fiercely we saved enough material -to make an excellent job of the bridge. The German engineers are very -thorough in their demolitions, and have made a perfect ruin of miles of -this canal—apparently their explosive charges are much more liberal than -we use ourselves. - -Returned to the company in a drizzling dawn, but were cheered to note -droves of prisoners along the road and hear that we have gone forward -again. - -_Oct. 26._ At 4.30 received orders to move company to billets in a farm -far behind us and near to Courtrai—obviously to undergo a fattening -process for further slaughter. After our arrival in the evening I had -another of my black fits for no reason whatever—they occur more -frequently now, and I must surely break up soon. The sober truth is that -I am about as much use here now as my grandmother would be. But even if -I am a wreck it is sweet to feel that I have wanted ten times more -smashing than any of the others—I have given the Fates a run for their -money and I believe I blew them once or twice. - -_Oct. 27._ I have been in the saddle all day and feel like a king -to-night. Silence and peace over the whole quiet countryside, and, as I -rode home in the twilight, a touch of frost in the air to catch the -horse’s breath and make my blood tingle. Oh! it was good to be alive, to -feel the power of the horse beneath me, to feel the strength returning -to my own shattered body and, above all, to think of cheerful firesides -down there among the trees, where the wood smoke mingled with the -gathering mists. It was “that sweet mood, - - When pleasant thoughts - Bring sad thoughts to the mind.” - -I saw an English village with a quaint old Norman church, and there, -too, the mists were gathering in the meadows round about. - -_Oct. 28._ Now we know why we are here—to train, practise, and rehearse -for the crossing of the Scheldt. All the Corps Engineers met in -conference in the town and spent the day designing and testing various -types of foot-bridge. The men had the pontoons out and the officers -spent the day in polishing up their drill. I saw where we crossed the -first time in the driving rain, with the machine-guns hammering in the -houses in front of us, and I saw the spot where I nursed the first -pontoon bridge through an interminable night. But how different now! - -A company of Canadian Railway troops were making a permanent bridge on -the very spot where my crazy pontoons had all but foundered. A -broad-gauge loco was hauling ballast up to the very edge of the river, -and a steam pile-driver hissed and chattered over the trestles. - -After all, our pontoons had played their part and it was comforting to -see how our feeble, vanguard efforts were followed up. - -Returned to the farm, I was delighted to hear that the recommendations -for Military Medals had passed through—my own D.S.O. has dwindled into -another “mention in despatches.” - -_Oct. 29._ More conferences and bridge-building. I have been asked to -reconnoitre the existing bridges over the river, and the Huns are half a -mile on this side of them! Spent several hours studying maps and -aeroplane photos and discussing ways and means. - -_Oct. 30._ More conferences and training. Completed my plans and decided -to take Stephens out with me on the night of the 31st. - -_Oct. 31._ At 2.30 p.m. I lay down quite peacefully, intending to sleep -until dusk, when I could set out on my venture. I was looking forward to -it, and felt perfectly confident. - -Just as I was dozing off the orderly corporal came in, bringing, of all -things, a warrant for me to go on leave to-morrow. Instantly the whole -affair changed, and I was seized with a blue shivering funk. In six -hours I was due to go through the German lines, and there, lying on the -table was a bit of paper waiting to take me to England in the morning. -It was the cruellest stroke of all, for I felt certain that I should -never return. I went back to my bunk and sweated and shivered with fear. -My mind and my body seemed to be completely separated from each other, -and I found it quite impossible to stop the quaking of my limbs. I saw -Death in a thousand forms just as on the night before the attack at -Courtrai. Sleep was impossible, so I got up at last and wrote these -lines with a trembling hand. The others are chipping me about “My Last -Will and Testament,” and there is the usual fatuous talk of medals. Day -says that if I come back they will roll all my previous non-fructifying -recommendations into one and make it a real V.C. at last. Oh! God, if -they only knew—and they look to me as a sort of Bayard.—_Written at -Calais waiting for leave boat._ - -After leaving the Mess and that infernal warrant, I calmed down somewhat -and was able to get my mind on to the work ahead—my old campaigning -instincts began to return and I became once more a scout, clear-headed -and fearless. It was a grand night for my work, miserable and stormy, -with rain and hail blowing in the gusty wind. Arrived in the outposts it -dawned on me that Stephens would be quite useless, and I couldn’t -remember why I had ever decided to take him—if things went all right he -could do nothing, and if they found us it would be two corpses instead -of one. He pleaded to come with me, and I had to hurt his feelings to -get rid of him. - -I got all the information I could from the outpost officers, said -good-bye to them, and went forward towards the river. It was then about -half a mile in front of me, and separated from our posts by a belt of -marsh and flooded fields. This belt was traversed by two roads with a -small bridge in each where they crossed a stream running parallel to the -main river. I had to investigate these two roads and bridges and the -main bridge where the two roads joined across the river. It was my plan -to work up one road, look at the river, and the main bridge, and then -return down the other road. - -There was practically no cover on the road, but the night was dark and I -felt fairly safe along the water’s edge. I calculated that I had gone -200 yards and then I waited, as I was a little nervous at having heard -nothing, and felt certain that there would be posts along the road. -After five minutes I heard the tapping of a mallet on stakes, and knew -that they were wiring some 200 yards down the road. Still I waited, but -I had no clear notion why. I assumed, of course, that there were -protective troops on this side of the wiring party, but it was instinct -rather than reason which made me halt. I was just preparing to go -forward again when two men rose out of the road not 15 yards away, -walked a few paces up and down the road, and then appeared to lie down -again. I had all but walked on to their rifles and my heart thumped -crazily. There was nothing for it but to take to the water and the -marsh. I retreated 20 yards and waded in, holding my revolver over my -head. It was deathly cold, and after about 100 yards I nearly gave it -up—at times the water was up to my shoulders and I seemed to make no -progress. The noise of the working party guided me, and eventually I -judged that I was behind them and therefore about in line with the first -small bridge. - -About this time I realised that another five minutes in the water would -kill me, and I struck back for the road, regardless of everything except -a desire to get on dry land. Unfortunately, I blundered into a colony of -waterfowl, and they flew up all round my head, making a terrific noise. -My heart stood still and I waited again—was there a scout among those -Huns on the road, who could read the meaning of the terrified waterfowl? -Apparently not, for I still heard the regular tapping of the mallets, -and several minutes later I was lying exhausted by the roadside. I half -emptied my flask and pushed on up the road—I was right in the middle of -the Huns now and crawling on my stomach as I did not know how near or -far they might be—I thought the cold would kill me, and wondered what -the Huns would think to find a dead Englishman inside their lines. To my -unspeakable delight there was no one on the bridge, and I was able to -make a thorough examination. I laughed at the Huns working solemnly down -the road, and for a second forgot my terrible condition. Here I think my -mind went a little dull, as I blundered straight on down the road until -I had almost reached the river and the main bridge. It was sheer -madness, but I would certainly have perished without the movement to aid -my circulation. I remember thinking grimly that it would be just my fate -to die of a cold after all that I had been through. I found a lot of -Huns round the bridge, so I struck the river about 100 yards above it -and then worked down under cover of the banks. I spent some twenty -minutes under the bridge and all the time I could hear their voices in -the darkness above me—the meaning of their words was drowned by the -noise of the wind and the rain. - -Now I had to get back down the other road before it began to grow light, -and, as I truly imagined, deliver my message before I died. Half a mile -inside the Hun lines, after spending two hours up to my shoulders in -water on a November night my condition is better imagined than -described. I ate a sodden mass of crumbs and bully that had once been -sandwiches in my pocket and finished the rum. I was nearly caught in -getting to the downstream side of the bridge and lay shivering under a -hedge for several minutes while a party marched by within three paces of -my head. I think they were the working party off the road and I noticed -that it was beginning to grow lighter—luckily the storm grew worse. -Eventually I got on to the second road and crawled back along the -water’s edge until I came to my last bridge—there was a German -machine-gun party sitting right in the middle of it. My brain was still -perfect, but I had lost all sense of feeling in my body—I wanted to -cry—they sat there between me and England, and I believe I had some idea -of getting up and asking them to let me go home. For a few minutes I had -no more will power than a child. Then some of our shells came over and I -could hear them bursting on the road over the bridge. There was only one -way back and that was as I had come—through the water. I forgot all -about the stream and waded in. The cold seemed to pull me together, -although, God knows, nothing could be colder than my own body. There was -a bit of dry land between the flood and the stream, but I got across -without being seen—I was keeping close to the bridge in the hope of -seeing something of it as I passed. If I couldn’t wade the stream I was -done, but I determined to try even if my head was under water and I had -to hold my breath. It was not more than five feet deep in the centre and -I got across and so over the bank into the flood on the far side. I had -still to keep to the water, as I was afraid there would be a patrol on -the road in advance of the people on the bridge. A few of our shells -were still falling on the road, and I could hear the angry hisses as the -red-hot bits of steel rained into the water round about. I did about 200 -yards like this and then I gave up—it was either the road or collapse -and drown in the water. I got on to the road, worked back carefully -until I felt safe, and then ran like the devil until I knew I was inside -our posts. When I stopped I nearly fainted, so I set off again—my head -pulling me up into the clouds like a bubble and my legs holding me to -the road as if they were tons of lead. - -Eventually I came across some gunners and they marvelled at the whisky I -drank. I told them I had been out scouting and slipped into some water—I -didn’t really know what had happened just at the time—I had vague -impressions of a mass of water and some Germans sitting on a bridge, -refusing to let me go home. Then I fell asleep, just sat down bang on -the mess floor and collapsed. - -They woke me after a couple of hours, lent me a horse, and directed me -to the company. - -To-morrow I shall be in England. - -_Nov. 9._ In the paper this morning there is a brief announcement that -the Second Army is across the Scheldt. I was proud to see it and felt -amply rewarded for my terrible night in the water. It has left no -apparent after-effects, so there must have been more resistance left in -my old carcass than I gave myself credit for. - -_Nov. 11._ It is over. These last few days I have hardly dared to hope -for it, and now that it has come I can hardly realise exactly what it -means. The thought of going back to it was killing me, and I have been -suffering from the most ghastly nightmare dreams—sometimes I am stuck in -the wire, unable to duck, with bullets whistling past my head—another -time I am trying to run through knee-deep mud with the shell-bursts -slowly overtaking me. I haven’t slept peacefully since my return, but -think it will be better now. - -I went out to see the celebrations to-night, and had only one -regret—that my revolver was left in Flanders. - - For of these how many know, - Or, how many knowing, care - Of the things that bought them this - In the mud fields over there. - -It is most emphatically over and will forthwith be forgotten. - - - STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN, - _30th Aug., 1920_. - -It is late at night and I am lying on the silken cushions of a private -yacht; my host’s daughter, a beautiful blue-eyed girl, is reclining by -my side, her hand on my shoulder. - -All around us the harbour lights are twinkling merrily and the warm -breath of the idle breeze carries the sound of pleasant music from the -gardens in the town. The little waves whisper and sigh seductively under -the stem of the ship, and overhead, “the soft, lascivious stars leer -from the velvet skies.” I recall a similar night at Colwyn in 1914 and -wonder if these people, too, will fail to read the writing on the wall. - -We are living once more in the days of “pomp and circumstance”—each -morning I see their Guards march to the Royal Palace with brazen music -and all the childish pageantry of war—each afternoon I see their -sartorially perfect officers parade the Strandvagen before the -gay-gowned beauties of the cafés. - -Is there no one with the courage to tell them that war is not like this, -that there will come a day without music, when there are no bright -colours and no admiring eyes, but when “the lice are in their hair and -the scabs are on their tongue”? Surely our years of sacrifice were vain -if the most highly educated people in Europe remain in ignorance of the -real nature of war and are open scoffers at the League of Nations. They -believe that England is the biggest brigand in the world, and look upon -Germany as the home of all Progress, valiantly defending herself against -a league of jealous enemies. To me it is incredible and I -remonstrate—they mention Ireland, Egypt, India, and Versailles. Then I -realise that the bitterest passages in my diary are only too true—the -sway of the old men has returned, the dead are forgotten, and betrayed. -Please God that they may never know the futility of their sacrifice. - -I am weary and tired of life myself; a mere shell of a man, without -health or strength, whose vitality was eaten out by the Flanders mud. -This ease and luxury is sent to mock me; I fling my cigar overboard with -angry contempt. - -Along the northern sky the summer sunset is mingling with the dawn in a -riot of impossible colours. My mind turns back to a day when Gheluvelt -lay smoking in the sun, England still slumbered, and the flower of the -Prussian Army were pouring in overwhelming numbers along the road to -Calais. The 1st Division was fought to a standstill, dying in thousands -but yielding not an inch; the 7th was practically annihilated but -somehow held their line, counterattacking again and again until the -khaki drops were swallowed in the sea of gray; there was an open gap at -last. Haig himself rode down the Menin road to call for a last effort -from the weary men; a gunner officer, his arm hanging in shreds from the -shoulder, took his last gun on to the open road and fired into the gray -masses until he died; the Worcesters flung their remnants across the -road, and the line was made again. - -The whitest gentlemen of England died that day, and I would that I had -rotted in their company before I saw their sacred trust betrayed. We -have dropped their fiery torch and the silken cushions call us. - - - GLASGOW: W. COLLINS SONS AND CO. LTD. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - -[Illustration] - - - - - =Messrs. - COLLINS’ - Latest Novels= - - - _Messrs. COLLINS will always be glad to send their book lists - regularly to readers who will send name and address._ - - - PIRACY - - Michael Arlen - -This is the story of Ivor Pelham Marlay between the ages of 18 and 32, -and the period is London, 1910–1922. It is the history of England, two -loves, and an ideal. Mr. Arlen deals with all the types of London -Society, and he likes to bring out the queer and unexpected sides of his -characters. No one who read Mr. Arlen’s first book, _A London Venture_, -or his delightful short stories, _A Romantic Lady_, needs to be told -that he writes wittily and well. - - - TYLER OF BARNET - - Bernard Gilbert - - Author of _Old England_ - -This long, powerful novel shows the dilemma of a middle-aged man with an -invalid wife and grown-up children, who falls passionately in love for -the first time. As he is a man of iron self-control he represses his -passion till it bursts all bounds, with a tragic result. No one now -writing knows so well or describes so vividly life in the English -countryside as does Bernard Gilbert. - - - THE PIT-PROP SYNDICATE - - Freeman Wills Crofts - -Another brilliantly ingenious detective story by the author of _The -Ponson Case_. The mystery of the real business of the syndicate utterly -baffled the clever young “amateurs” who tried to solve it, and it took -all the experience and perseverance of the “professionals” to break up -the dangerous and murderous gang. - - - THE BEAUTIFUL AND DAMNED - - F. Scott Fitzgerald - -This book has caused an even greater sensation in America than _This -Side of Paradise_. It is a long, searching, and absolutely convincing -study of degeneration, that degeneration which ruins so many of the -rich, young, idle people. The “smart set” of New York is hurled into the -limelight and mercilessly revealed. A witty, pungent, and entirely -original book. - - - DANDELION DAYS - - Henry Williamson - -This is the tale of a boy’s last terms at a public school, a very -sensitive, unusual boy, and it is in a sense a sequel to _The Beautiful -Years_. It is the work of a very clever young writer whose nature essays -have attracted the widest attention here and in America, and is utterly -unlike the usual “school story.” It is a subtle and beautifully written -study of character. - - - BEANSTALK - - Mrs. Henry Dudeney - -A charmingly told novel of Sussex. The theme is Motherhood, and all the -emotional subtleties of the desire for children. - - - PENDER AMONG THE RESIDENTS - - Forrest Reid - -This is an episode in the life of Rex Pender, who inherited and came to -live at Ballycastle. It is the story of the curious spiritual experience -which came to him there. It is in a sense a “ghost story,” but it is -told by an artist and a stylist. “The Residents,” moreover, are -admirably contrasted, and in some cases deliciously humorously drawn. A -charming, enigmatic, “different” book. - - - THE DEAVES AFFAIR - - Hulbert Footner - -This is a story of Evan Weir’s wooing, and a very strenuous and original -pursuit it proved. In fact the lady of his choice so far dissembled her -love, as frequently to threaten his further existence. At the time, Evan -was acting as secretary to old Simeon Deaves, famed as the possessor of -the “tightest wad” in New York. - -Now certain individuals had designs upon old Simeon and his hoard, and -amongst them was the forcible and beautiful object of Evan’s affections. - -Like _The Owl Taxi_, it goes with a splendid snap, and is packed with -exciting and humorous incidents. - - - ROSEANNE - - Madame Albanesi - -The author calls this an “old-fashioned story.” It does not concern -itself with sex or any other problems, but is just a lively, well-told -life of a very fascinating heroine who has plenty of adventures -sentimental and otherwise. - - - - - Collins’ ‘First Novel’ Library - - AUTUMN TITLES - - - EXPERIENCE - - Catherine Cotton - -This charming chronicle has no “plot.” It is an attempt to present a -happy, witty, simple-minded woman who attracted love because she gave it -out. This is a very difficult type of book to write. The attention of -the reader must be aroused and held by the sheer merit of the writing, -and the publishers believe they have found in Catherine Cotton a writer -with just the right gifts of wit, sympathy, and understanding. - - - DOMENICO - - H. M. Anderson - -This is the story of a Cardinal of Rome, a member of one of the great -noble families. In his youth something had happened which had thrown a -shadow over his life. There are three great crises in his life, one of -them due to this shadow, one to the contrast between his conscience and -his ambition, and the third when, an exile in England, he falls in love. -Miss Anderson shows much skill in drawing the character of this great -and tragic figure. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES - - - 1. Silently corrected obvious typographical errors and variations in - spelling. - 2. Retained archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings as printed. - 3. 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